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#like do you get it? do you get the sorrows of being an angry person trying so hard to be Good for the people you love and falling short
happyk44 · 3 months
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percy repeating that he can be good over and over again to himself while covered in the blood after an overwhelming unleash of volatile rage that destroyed all that threatened his loved ones while grover holds his face and steadily grounds him back to reality
("i'm safe, we're safe, it's safe, just breathe")
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xiaowhore · 4 months
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intoxicating.
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premise. your boyfriend dumps you and says he doesn't love you anymore. of course, being the petty bitch that you are, you have to prove that you don't need him in your life either. and of course, intense emotions often lead to rash decisions, so you go to a bar in hopes of finding a new man.
somehow, even when all you've managed to do is scowl at anyone who approaches you and mope at the bar counter, you still manage to get one.
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Wriothesley has dealt with his fair share of unruly drunks before, but they were something more along the lines of aggressive and sloppy, not depressed and sappy.
He finds that he'd rather manhandle angry alcoholics than a person who makes a slobbering mess all over his shirt, clinging to his arm and sobbing to his sleeve. Your body starts to sway even when he supports your weight, your footsteps unstable as your attempt to walk in a straight line fails entirely.
Okay, so maybe you are sloppy after all.
Wriothesley sighs and tightens his grip on your shoulders. There's no point in losing his patience with a drunk person. He didn't even mean to pick you up, it's just that as a police officer, his sense of responsibility makes him want to fix a troublesome situation whenever he sees one. Even when he isn't on duty, he often leads disruptive drunks out of bars and restaurants, forces them out when he has to, and is always on the receiving end of owners' gratitude.
However, he has no experience dealing with drunks that just got dumped by their boyfriend and chugged away the sorrow with alcohol. You know, like the one dragging their feet as he drags their inebriated body away.
At first, he thought you were hitting on him when he felt your head lean on his shoulder in the bar. It's a common strategy, one that he's dealt with enough times to know when someone is just pretending to be drunk and trying to get his attention. He was still thinking of what to say when tears actually rolled down your cheeks and you started retelling your life story that he never asked to hear about.
Wriothesley isn't actually trying to listen, but he still gets the gist of it. It would be hard not to when you're still prattling on about it beside his ear as we speak.
“He said...” You hiccup, warm liquid seeping into his shirt as you sob into his arm. He hopes that's from your tears and not your snot. “He said he doesn't feel anything for me anymore...”
So you glammed up for tonight and tried to have fun at a bar so you could prove to yourself you didn't need him in the same way he didn't need you. He can already recite the story perfectly from the amount of times you told him. Your plan is irrational at best, and he doesn't see himself doing the same if he were ever to be in the same situation, but he can't berate you for it. Not when you looked so miserable and hopeless to the extent he didn't think it would be safe to leave you alone back at the bar.
“You can't force yourself to be happy,” Wriothesley grumbles, finally giving up on carrying you by the shoulder and instead hoists you up on his back to give you a piggyback ride. Your shoes slip off your feet, so he sighs as he crouches down to pick them up. “At times like this, you should find other ways to feel better.”
Your body jolts against him as you hiccup once again. “Like what?”
“Dunno.” He shrugs, and he can feel you gradually getting used to being carried. It takes only a bit more for you to melt against his body, your chin snugly tucked in the juncture between his neck and shoulder. “Watch movies at home in your pajamas, I guess. Treat yourself to good food. Go on a trip. You look like the type to enjoy that. Much safer than getting involved with guys when you're still emotionally unavailable.”
You sniffle. “Romance movies only remind me of him. Eating at restaurants will make me remember the dates we've gone to. And going on trips will make me wish he's there with me.”
Why do they have an argument for each point I make? And I never said anything about the movie having to be romance. “Well, you still have to go through that,” he gives up on making you think otherwise. “But one day, you'll feel a little better about it. Maybe you'll want to start dating again when you watch that romance movie, or you'll want someone else to eat with on that restaurant you once went to. And when you're on a trip, maybe you'll even think you want somebody special to go with you.”
You go quiet. For a moment, he thinks you've fallen asleep. But then your head slowly rises from his shoulder, dazed eyes peeking at him unsurely. “You really think so?”
“It won't be easy,” Wriothesley says, because nothing ever is. “But you want to say you don't love him anymore, right?” He glances at you, at the dry tear streaks on your cheeks, at what glitter remains around your eyes from all the times you've rubbed away your tears.
For the first time that night, he sees you smile. “Yeah... I want to say it without feeling hurt anymore.”
He turns away, and he feels himself smiling without meaning to. “That's good.”
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“...So do you like watching romance movies? Or eating [hometown] cuisine?”
“...No?”
“Then I'll settle for a movie you like. And I can make good food from anywhere.”
“...Are you hitting on me? Using my advice?”
“Is it working?”
Wriothesley laughs, looking at the person he's carrying on his back, who he is escorting to his apartment because you lost your keys and your roommate won't be back until tomorrow, whom he wrapped his leather jacket around because he felt you shivering against him, and who caught his eye the very moment he entered the bar.
“That's not a no.” He knows you're pouting even when he isn't looking anymore.
“Yeah,” he agrees with you, almost indulgently. “It isn't.”
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When you wake up in an unfamiliar bedroom, dressed down to your undergarments and a t-shirt you definitely do not own, and with hardly any recollection of events from the past night, you think you've made a terrible, terrible mistake.
But then you spot the hangover medicine on the bedside table, your alcohol-spilled clothes drying in the laundry room, and possibly the most gorgeous man you've ever seen cooking breakfast in the kitchen, so whatever you did last night couldn't really be that bad.
“Oh, you're awake,” he says once he notices you standing in the middle of the room, completely awestruck. You don't even know what you should be staring at; his chiseled face, his strong arms, his tight tank top that faintly traces his muscled torso, the gray sweatpants that-
Okay. You are not going to look anywhere below his waist.
“Yeah,” is all you can manage, simply glad you didn't fuck up that one syllable. You feel like you're on the verge of either saying something really stupid or making really weird strangled noises. You prefer the former, if you can help it.
“Sit.” He pulls one chair from the dining table, gesturing for you to take it. You meekly take your seat, eyes shifting everywhere but his face. “You're rather quiet today,” he muses, taking one glance at your reddening face as he fixes the plates of pancakes in front and across you.
“...How was I yesterday, then?” You ask, though you don't actually want to hear the answer.
The man hums in thought, taking his sweet time while pouring coffee over two mugs. “Troublesome,” he decides to say. “You nearly puked over my rug, after all.”
You sputter, making all kinds of apologies and promises of compensation when all of a sudden, he laughs. “Nah, I'm kidding. But this means you don't remember anything at all, right?” He sits across from you, sliding the mug to your hand.
“No...” You take a sip, but you barely register how it tastes. “I remember ordering a lot of drinks, but that's pretty much it.”
“That's a shame.” He sighs, leaning back on his chair as he sips coffee. “I suppose that means our dinner plans are void, then.”
“Absolutely not!” The words come out of your lips before your brain-to-mouth filter processes it fully, your hand slamming down the mug on the table in protest. “Uh... that is... if you're available whenever...” You get a hold of yourself and feel your cheeks burning in shame.
He doesn't try to hide the amused smirk on his face. “Sure. I'll be looking forward to your hometown cooking, then.”
Just what on earth did you do last night...?
???
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daytaker · 4 months
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The Gang React to You Ignoring Them
Lucifer
"How childish. They'll have forgotten by the end of the day."
By the end of the day, however, Lucifer has reached his fucking limit. But his pride will not only prevent him from begging you to knock it off-- it will prevent him from even acknowledging in your presence that he is remotely bothered.
He probably goes to vent to Diavolo -- that is to say, visit him for tea and offhandedly comment about your immaturity for pulling such a stunt, knowing that he'll just contact you and beg for him.
Mammon
"Oh no you don't! MC! MC! MC! MC! MC! Hey! MC! MC! Hey! MC!"
He will follow you wherever you go. At first he thinks he's hilarious, being an absolute pain in the ass, but the longer it goes on, the more dejected he gets. His energy level tanks and soon he's just lying on top of the nearest piece of furniture and whining for you to stop it.
If you manage to get him off of you long enough to escape him, he will just text you.
Mammon: MC Mammon: MC Mammon: Hey MC Mammon: Hey Mammon: MC
If you block him, he will just text someone else until that person becomes so annoyed that THEY beg you to stop.
When you finally give in, he pretends like he didn't even care that much. It was just a little joke between pals, right? Haha!
Leviathan
"So this is how easy it is for you to just toss me aside like a piece of garbage."
Levi will take this extremely personally. Depending on why you're ignoring him, he might blame himself and enter a spiral of self-hate. He'll hole up in his room, refusing to leave until you finally come in and either apologize or forgive him, whichever is appropriate.
He'll spend a few moody minutes acting like it's too late for that, but soon he'll be on the verge of tears, making you to swear on a copy of The Tale of the Seven Lords that you will never pull that kind of thing again.
Satan
"Really? Is this what it's come to? You understand how pathetic this makes you look, don't you?"
Like Lucifer, he won't be too bothered at first, assuming you'll get over things relatively soon. But if nothing has changed within an hour or two, he'll start to get testy. He'll send a text, sit in the same room as you and stare a hole through your head, and if you're still ignoring him after a while of that, he'll storm up to his room.
Depending on how emotionally charged the incident was that led to you ignoring him, he will be more or less capable of fending off an explosion of temper. Most likely, any acknowledgement you toss his way will ease the tension, so it might be a good idea to just shoot him a text asking him not to destroy the house, please.
Asmodeus
"But it's impossible to ignore me! You can't look away from a face like mine! See?"
I don't think you can ignore Asmo. Being the literal Avatar of Lust with powers to charm and an intense need to be admired and adored, he simply exudes an aura that demands attention. You should probably come up with a different strategy of attack.
Beelzebub
"...Are you mad at me?"
Why would you do that to him? How could you be so cruel?
If you did do it, it would probably confuse and sadden him. Confusion and sorrow both make him feel hungry, so he will go ahead and start eating his feelings within an hour of the silent treatment. Even if you're content to allow this to continue, the other six demons in the house aren't, and you will ultimately have no choice but to make up with Beel.
Belphegor
belphie.exe has stopped responding
Considering you'd already forgiven him for the whole murder thing, he can't comprehend how you've become so mad at him that you'd go so far as to give him the cold shoulder. He won't know how to respond at first, but he will quickly become an angry, sulky ball curled up under the blankets on his bed. If it takes more than a few hours for you to come crawling back to him, things will start to change. Belphie will return to the common areas of the house, acting mostly the same as usual, and he will not spare you a second glance. Even if you stop ignoring him, well, two can play this game, and Belphie is absolutely petty enough to drag this one out.
After a day or two of you trying to talk to him, he'll relent. He'll feel kind of guilty, having worked through most of his anger while ignoring you. He'll probably text you a lot for the next day or two, just to ease some of his anxieties.
Diavolo
"I don't understand."
You can't do that. That's illegal. Next character.
Barbatos
"Hehe. What a troublemaker."
Barbatos likes it when you ignore him sometimes.
Barbatos will not change his behavior at all, ever. You could spend the rest of your life ignoring him, and he would simply accept it as one of those unfortunate circumstances life sometimes throws his way. He would prefer it if things didn't go down that way, though. Basically, he'll let you come to him whenever you've gotten over whatever it is you're upset about. What a king.
Solomon
"Hmm? Are you sure that's a good idea?"
Solomon will act pretty much the same as usual around you too. He'll point out that you're ignoring him to whoever else happens to be around and bemoan the situation, but he won't actively appeal to you. Instead, he'll orchestrate a scenario that traps you in a situation where he is the only person you can go to for help. As soon as you do that, he'll act as if nothing ever happened. If you resume the silent treatment, well, he can always come up with another scenario.
Are you still sure it's a good idea?
Simeon
"I didn't realize you were so upset. I'm sorry (that/if) I hurt you."
Simeon will either immediately understand why you are doing this, in which case he will apologize (using "that") or he will have absolutely no idea what's going on, and he'll still apologize (using "if") to be on the safe side.
If you don't show any signs of breaking, he'll enlist Luke's help to make you an apology dessert of some sort. And how can you stay mad at him when he's offering you angel food cake with such a sad expression?
Luke
😧😠😣🥺😢
Wh- Whaaa...?! How dare you ignore him! That's so mean! It must be all the demonic influences rubbing off on you! Stop it! Stop it or he's going to tell Simeon!
And then he'll go and tell Simeon. Simeon will probably tell him to just wait until you've calmed down. If he thinks you're being unreasonable, though, he'll probably have a talk with you himself. Really? Pulling the silent treatment on an actual child? Sure, he's a millennium old, but he's still a child.
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runninriot · 3 months
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...✍️
“I want that too, y’know. The touching and kissing, everything. But the problem is, that I- I want all that from someone I can’t have. And that sucks.” Steve chuckles bitterly.
Isn’t that funny? That there he is, the wonderful man that stole Eddie’s heart, being just as miserable, just as heartbroken as Eddie is. It’s hysterical, really. Eddie wants to laugh, wants to ask who Steve is talking about. Finds it impossible to think there could be a single person in this world that would pass on the opportunity to be with Steve in all the ways Eddie would kill for.
   “Guess that makes two of us,” Eddie confesses and Steve perks up at his words, opens and closes his mouth as if he, too, doesn’t know if it’s okay to dig deeper.
There’s a sadness in his eyes Eddie thinks must mirror his own; two sets of brown eyes searching for comfort in each other. Eddie feels so small, so angry for Steve and himself because love could be such a beautiful thing but isn’t when the rhythm of your heart doesn’t match the one it’s beating for. When love is a one way road with no exists.
   “What do you mean?” Steve asks but Eddie just shakes his head and smiles weakly, trying to take some of the heaviness away for both their sakes.
People don’t choose to fall in love, it just happens. And when it does, there is always a fifty-fifty chance that your love is requited. That the person you fell for likes you in the same way, wants you just like you want them.
Sadly, Eddie has yet to be one of the lucky ones to experience that. The real thing. And while they are still staring at each other, each wallowing in their own sorrow because being in love hurts – he realises that this is so much more than a stupid crush. That this goes deeper than anything he’s ever felt before. That maybe for the first time in his 25 years on earth he understands what true love feels like. Feels the crushing weight of it. Knows it won’t fade so easily. But-
   “You’ll always have me.”
He can pretend. He can be Steve’s friend even if it hurts. Eddie would rather pull his own heart out than not to have Steve in his life. He’d rather be Steve’s friend than nothing at all.
   “What?” Steve seems confused at his statement and Eddie can’t blame him.
   “I’m sorry you can’t have who you want but you’ll always have me.”
   “Why do you say that?”
   “Because I mean it, Steve. No matter what, you’ll always have me. It might not be enough for you and I get that. But for me, this is everything I need even if I can’t have all I want. You wanna know why I came home so early? Because when you texted me, I realised that I don’t need to be anywhere else, with anyone else.”
    I just wanna be here. With you.
Eddie bites his tongue to stop himself from saying more, knows he’s already said too much. Probably shouldn’t have said any of it.
The confusion in Steve’s eyes turns into something else – anger maybe? Frustration? He pulls away from Eddie, jumps up off the sofa and walks a few steps back.
   “You- you can’t just say things like that, Eddie.”
Eddie hates that there is so much space between them, so he stands too, approaches Steve like he would a scared animal, taking slow steps to close the distance between them.
   “I can’t say the truth?” He doesn’t think about his own words, just lets his emotions take over his brain and mouth, doesn’t care about the consequences.
   “N-no! You can’t just say it like it means more than what you’re actually saying. You’re doing this enigmatic bullshit I never understand because I’m too dumb to read between the lines!”
That causes Eddie to freeze on the spot. He’s only inches away from Steve now, could lift his arms easily to reach out for him. But Steve’s words stop him.
He’s right, isn’t he? Eddie does that a lot. Says only half of what he means or says one thing and means another entirely. He just never realised Steve knew. That he can see right through him.
   “You’re right,” he agrees.
Steve huffs annoyed, rubs his hands roughly over his face.
   “Then tell me what you mean. What you really mean.”
It doesn’t matter now, does it? He already said too much anyway. Steve is already onto him, knows Eddie is playing a game of hide and seek with himself – hiding the truth and seeking for an easy way out. But it’s too late to try and turn this conversation around.
   “What I mean is-“ Eddie takes a deep breath, summons all the courage he can find in himself. “It makes two of us because I feel that same way you do. Wanting someone I can’t have? Because you’re my friend, Steve. I can’t have you the way I want you and that’s fine. It hurts like hell but it’s fine. I can live with that. You’ll never be alone because you’ll always have me as a friend.”
Steve stares at him with eyes full of rage.
   “But I don’t want you as a friend.”
Steve’s words hit him like a fist to the face. But before Eddie can let them sink in and start spiralling about the meaning behind them – Steve not wanting to be friends anymore because of Eddie’s confession, obviously – Steve closes the distance between them in one swift motion, grabs Eddie’s face on either side, looking at him with determination in his eyes.
   “I want you as more than a friend, Eddie.”
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sxmmer-cherry · 15 days
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❝ AND EVEN IN SORROW, I STAND BY YOU. ❞
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↯ OVERTURE — looking at you, hunched over in a state of sorrow, eyes leaking with unfathomably hurtful tears that pierce their heart through and through; your lover stares sadly at you. why though, darling? when they're always so gentle to you? why do you hide your sorrow so, when you know they'd go to the end of the world just for you?
↯ FEATURING — all genshin men + fatui harbingers
↯ AUTHOR'S NOTE — a personal favourite of mine!
🍂—masterlist. —the author. —leave a note. —navigate.
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↯ GENSHIN MEN WHO FOUND YOU CRYING YOURSELF TO SLEEP. who stand frozen for a moment, unable to react. who can barely comprehend the entire situation, who get so upset that you never shared your burden with them until it made you cry.
— men who jerk out of their shock and slowly take you in a warm embrace and wipe your tears. who don't say a word, just like you once mentioned how you like being comforted. who get into bed with you and pull the blanket over you and themselves once again. who rub your back gently and try not to overthink about what they did wrong. who pour you some water once you calm down and stare gently as you gulp it down and then wipe your cheeks and the area above your lips before tucking you in.
— men who did not talk about it until the next morning. who cook your favourite dish and a hot cup of relaxing tea and get so happy when you wake up and smile at them. who encourage you to change and brush and serve you like you're royalty. who try to formulate words about how to ask you what's wrong before you realise it yourself and are speaking about it before they can mention it.
— men who are secretly relieved when you tell them it's not about them. who are now angry more than worried about the person who made you upset. who hold your hand as you explain everything to them, who are first ready to throw a fist then calm down and give practical advice. who give you a kiss and take you to the lake and make sure you're alright before encouraging you to get back to work and duty.
AYATO, BAIZHU, DILUC, GOROU, KAEYA, KAZUHA, LYNEY, HEIZOU, CHILDE, XINGQIU, ZHONGLI, CAPITANO
↯ GENSHIN MEN WHO ALMOST CRY WHEN THEY FIND YOU SOBBING ALONE AT THE BALCONY. men who are barely holding back tears at your heartbreaking display of sorrow, who want to jump off the very balcony and who feel disturbed completely. who can't think of anything else and rush to you and hug you and cry with you. who convince themselves to be strong for you.
— men who love your smile and hate your frown. who feel pathetic when they see thise red eyes and sorrowful expression. who know something big happened because you're a strong person. who try their best to crack jokes and cheer you up and they succeed, but then feel even more upset when they see that pretty smile once more along with the tears.
— men who try to ask you right away what's wrong, who try to solve the issue at hand. who get rational immediately and give you solid advice, not just to solve the issue but also to cheer you up. who drag you to the kitchen and bake with you. who laugh and make jokes the entire time and sprinkle in small moral advices amd have deep talks. who are so tired by the end that they're a blinking mess and smile lazily before falling asleep, tightly clutching you in their arms.
— men who wake up early and are elated to find you sleeping peacefully. who kiss your nose and laugh when you wake up disgusted. who cook with you that day and talk to you all day long, taking a break from their schedule just for you.
AETHER, ALBEDO, ITTO, CHONGYUN, FREMINET, KAVEH, THOMA, VENTI
↯ GENSHIN MEN WHO IMMEDIATELY CUT THEMSELVES OFF WHEN THEY LOOK AT YOUR EXPRESSION. men who remember that one time you told them how scared you get when they get angry and raise their voice. who find your eyes watery and your fists shaking slightly. who know they get cynical when they fight. who lose the string of whatever they were about to say and slowly reach out for you and hug you, feeling like an absolute monster.
— men who apologize over and over again, completely forgetting the argument. who wipe your tears, bring you water and settle you. who feel disturbed the whole night at the sight of you crying. who are the ones that feel guilty enough to cry themself to sleep. who feel even more sad when you're the one comforting them and telling them it's fine.
— men who make it a habit to always watch their tone. who always keep how much they love you at the back of their mind when they fight you over something so that their voice never increases in volume or they don't scare you into submission. who blush slightly when you compliment them over how much they've changed after their promise that night.
— men who change themselves for you. who calm themselves down when they're getting heated up and then go on a walk with you together to talk it out gently. who never want to hurt or scare you. who respect your needs and fears. who smile when you smile and cry when you cry.
AL HAITHAM, CYNO, NEUVILLETTE, TIGHNARI, WRIOTHESLEY, WANDERER, XIAO, DOTTORE, PANTALONE
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Ascended Astarion Manipulation
I'm back on my dark bullshit. Now thinking of your "choice" to be a vampire spawn. Any sane person would refuse, and Astarion is aware of this. So he decides to convince you with some very not good tactics.
Tw: Obsession, manipulation, jealousy, ascended Astarion doing ascended Astarion things, bad, bad, man, toxic relationships
~
Astarion had developed a significant lack of patience ever since reaching Ascension. It was hard to entertain most things when he'd achieved the power to twist the vast majority of situations in his favor. But he was trying his damndest to be patient with you. Despite the fact that your constant refusals made him absolutely furious. You insisted that you loved him, that he was all you would ever want, but yet you still refused to undergo the change.
It's not like he was asking for much, if anything you should be thanking him for the opportunity. He was offering you the gift of immortality, with little to no drawbacks. Besides your unwavering devotion of course. But what was that in the face of absolute freedom? You would never have to worry about a thing again. He would keep you safe and cared for, all while you'd both be free to walk in the sun. He had endless funds now that he had taken over Cazador's estate, unmatched political power in a startlingly short amount of time, considering his work as part of the heroes of Baldur's gate, and the power to obliterate nearly any mortal enemy he could think of. Anything you desired he could give, if you would just let yourself take that final step.
But as much as he wanted to be solely angry at you, he really only had himself to blame. Why had he insisted on being so descriptive about the limitations of being a spawn? He had been such a cowardly moron back then, with no imagination to imagine a better future. And now he was paying for it. While it was true he would never make you a fully fledged vampire, it didn't mean he would mistreat you. He loved you. Adored you more than anything else in existence. And having you as his spawn, his official consort would be for your benefit just as much his. This was the only way he would have complete control over you, fully able to protect you from everything. Including yourself.
But you weren't buying his lies about eventually becoming equals. The offer of giving you everything you ever wanted also fell flat, considering how he was already doing that. He just couldn't help but spoil you.
He had started to wonder if he should just force it. He would prefer not to, but he would if it came to it. But he didn't get this far by not using his brain. Force wasn't the way with you, it never had been. If anything, turning you against your will would just lead to decades of fighting and bickering, something that Astarion would like to avoid if possible. He would hate to make the experience of putting you in your place unpleasant.
No, he would try to be reasonable one more time. And appealing to your emotions, to your guilt, seemed as good a bet as any.
He waited until you were comfortable and relaxed. You were dozing off against his chest in bed while Astarion contemplated the best approach to this conversation. If this didn't work, then he'd just have to bite the bullet and bite you without your consent. Then, he'd probably have to lock you away for a time until you came around to your new state of being, an idea that did send a shiver of excitement up his spine.
But not yet. He was willing to give you one more chance to do the right thing.
He ran the tips of his fingers over your back, taking the time to work up a couple of tears before fully waking you with a seemingly accidental shake. He sniffled loudly, barely managing to hide his smile as you blinked your eyes open. You blearily looked up at him, immediately tensing when you saw the sorrowful expression on his face.
You sat up quickly, concern knitting your brows together as you asked, "Star? What's wrong? What happened?"
Astarion looked away with a shake of his head, "I... I didn't mean to wake you darling. Ignore me, I'll be fine."
You shook your head. You gently turned him back towards you, both hands cupping the sides of his face, "None of that. Tell me? I'll never be able to sleep if I know your upset."
Astarion gripped your wrists as he spoke, his voice soft, "I don't want to upset you."
"You won't," You said, just like Astarion knew you would, "I promise. Just tell me what's wrong?"
He took a deep breath, his voice barely over a whisper when he admitted, "I'm so afraid of losing you, my love. I... I just can't stop thinking about it."
"But I'm not going anywhere-"
"For now," Astarion interrupted, his voice pained. He only had to take a portion of that, "But... one day you'll die. And I won't. I... I don't know how I'll ever live without you."
He could feel you tense up, badly enough for you to almost pull away, but he just tightened the grip he had on your wrists. You sighed, looking away with a guilty frown, "I-we've talked about this. I don't-I'm not ready to be... that."
Astarion could feel that same anger creeping back up at your rejection, but he stomped it down. He could tell that you were semi-buying the act. You were so much smarter then he gave you credit for, never failing to challenge him. Just one more thing he loved about you.
Astarion took a shuddering breath, nuzzling into the palm of your hand, "I know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I just... I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize," You said softly, "I'm the one who asked."
"But I'm the one who woke you," Astarion argued, "I'm so sorry darling. I want to let this go. I do. But I... I'm scared. Of so many things. I'm afraid that you think... that you think I'm like him. That you don't trust me to take care of you like you deserve. I'm afraid of you dying yes, probably more than anything but... I'm nearly just as terrified of you leaving."
That speech was... a touch too honest for Astarion's liking, but it seemed to be working. He could see tears prickling in your own eyes, your resolve shaken in a way he had yet to seen.
"I-I do trust you. And I know you're not like him. I'm just... I'm scared too. What if... what if you get tired of me? What if you find someone better suited for you? Then I would just... be there. Forever tied to a man who doesn't want me."
That... actually hurt to hear. Didn't you know that you were it for him? That he would set the whole world ablaze if it meant keeping you safe? No one would ever get between the two of you, he'd slaughter anyone who would even dare try.
Astarion finally let go of your wrists, opting to pull you into a tight hug instead. He cradled you against him, whispering in your ear, "That will never happen. You're mine. There is no one else, nothing else, that will ever change that. And if you let me I'll prove it to you, for all eternity."
You were fully crying now, so, so close to breaking. You just needed a little more to push you over the edge.
"I love you," Astarion murmured, one thing that would never be a lie, "And I can't live without you. I won't. It's either forever with you, or my life ends the day yours does."
"Don't say that," You whimpered, "Please don't say that. I-I don't want that for you."
You were so close to him, so distraught. He could smell the siren call of your blood through your skin, calling out to him. He made the choice then and there, he was biting you tonight. Without or without your consent. It would be up to you if it would be a fight or not.
"Then give me this," Astarion pleaded one more time, his real emotions coming to the forefront, "Let me have this life with you. Please my love, let this happen. Let me change you. For me?"
This was it, your last change. Astarion could only hope that you wouldn't disappoint him.
And you didn't, perfect thing that you were. You were nearly sobbing into his shoulder, but you were nodding against him, your voice barely audible through the tears, "Y-Yes, I'll do it. For you. You... you can change me."
That was all the permission that Astarion needed. He was sinking his fangs into your throat before you could even process it, so, so ready to drain you dry.
You gasped at the unexpected pain, but you didn't fight him. You let it happen like the good pet you were, all you had needed was a little push. He could feel you start to fade away, your body becoming more and more lax as you started to die in his arms.
But that was fine. You were about to be reborn into something better, someone who would never be able to leave his side.
This was it. Now, you were his, in every way imaginable.
You would never be away from him again.
837 notes · View notes
ficnation · 6 months
Text
Chapter 4: Bon Appétit
Series: “Eat Your Heart Out” Pairing: Hannibal Lecter x Female! Reader x Will Graham Word count: 4,6k+ Warnings: canon-typical warnings, 18+, SMUT A/n: I'm really putting off the inevitable here sksksksk. Enjoy and let me know your thoughts <3 Btw this is my first time writing explicit smut (unedited)
This is also another late piece to @the-slumberparty Bingo Card event (prompt: proposal) - > Events Masterlist
Main Masterlist || Hannibal Masterlist
PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER
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When Will comes home that night after promising you he’ll only be gone for a few hours, he’s doing anything in his power not to look you in the eyes. He kept his word, coming back exactly three hours and twenty-six minutes later. You stare at him, intrigued. You don’t understand why he’s acting this way, but your mind screams at you that it can’t be anything good—it’s right, like always.
“I resumed my therapy with Doctor Hannibal Lecter,” he informs you after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. He still doesn’t look at you, as he takes off his jacket and boots.
“You did what?” You blink at him in confusion—utterly dumbfounded. The meaning of his words doesn’t even register in your brain. 
“I’m going to keep on seeing Hannibal,” Will repeats in the same monotonous voice.
It hits you like a train, and your stomach churns at the thought of them sitting across from each other, talking about emotions and Will’s life. Your expression turns to one of disapproval as the man expected.
“After everything he’s done, after everything he put you through, why would you do that?”
Will doesn’t respond right away, and you can tell he’s struggling with his words. “There are things I need to learn about myself,” he says finally. “About what it’s like to be me.”
You stare at him, burning invisible holes in his head, trying to decipher what is truly happening here. The guilt that emanates from his person, the fact that he still can’t meet your gaze—it’s more than suspicious. The realization hits you even harder than the fact he wants to be anywhere near Hannibal Lecter.
“Why are you lying to me?” you ask, voice on the verge of breaking. You hate yourself for ever thinking that he trusts you completely after all those years apart. The tears gathering in your eyes are more angry than sorrowful.
For a moment, Will goes silent. The silence is thick, full of tension as the two of you remain in your positions—you watching him, and him with his back turned to you.
Then, he closes his eyes tightly, as if fighting against a headache. He finally speaks, but only after turning slowly to face you. You immediately notice the pained expression on his face, the guilt that drips from his very skin.
“I have to keep seeing him.”
You go to protest again, but the sound of your voice cracks, and no words emerge. Will doesn’t wish to ever hear this noise from you again. It feels criminal—being the one who caused it. His heart breaks in a way it never did before—it stings like someone delivered it one thousand cuts.
You both remain silent for what feels like an eternity. Will doesn’t look away from you, and your eyes are locked on him, on that misery and pain staring right at you. No one moves, no one blinks, no one probably even breathes. Everything is still, except for your heart which aches even worse than it did before. The silence gets so thick you can almost feel it—touch it. For the life of you, you don’t want to be the one to break it.
You want to speak, beg, convince him to stop these mind games, to give you an explanation you could understand. But you choose to keep your mouth shut, slumping further into the cushions of the armchair. 
Will’s eyes don’t leave you. They remain fixed on you as if willing you to speak, to tell him something that would make all of this suddenly go away. Anything.
He wants you to read his mind, and understand his pleas, but you can’t— and even if you could, you wouldn’t. You don’t do anything, don’t even move a muscle and after a few moments of waiting, Will finally breaks the silence.
“I don’t want him to do this to anyone else,” he says. His words are soft and quiet, but they carry a weight that you feel in your chest.
“Yet you didn’t start with that. You chose to lie.” 
Will sighs. He looks exhausted as if you’ve been here asking him questions for hours, even though it’s been twenty minutes at most.
“I didn’t want you to stop me. There, I said it,” he says. “It was hard. Harder than anything I’ve ever done. Can you just cut me some slack over here?”
You don’t answer right away. You don’t know what to think or what to say about this whole situation. It seems absurd, and you have to remind yourself that you might’ve paused your story with Will Graham, but for him time has passed, things have changed.
You’re not proud of the words that leave you next. God, you wish you could just catch them in the air before they have a chance to reach his ears and put them back in your mouth.
“Change your fucking tone, Will.”
You’re shocked with your own words, but Will doesn’t seem annoyed or offended, not like most people would. He’s still staring at you, but you notice the slightest hint of amusement in his expression as if this new side of you intrigued him rather than annoyed him.
“You don’t like me speaking to you like that, my dear?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. He makes no attempts to sound serious—just enough to make you laugh, but his words carry weight. He’s genuinely curious.
Will Graham just called you “my dear” and your whole face warms up at this term of endearment as you observe him fall to one knee in front of your person.
“What are you doing?” you choke out, confused, butterflies fluttering wildly in your chest.
Will takes his time to reply, his eyes scanning you and your reactions. He seems to enjoy the sight of you flustered, barely keeping up with what’s happening right in front of your face. His heart skips a beat more than twice in the span of a few seconds.
“I’m proposing.”
The words seem so absurd that you half expect him to break the tension with a quick joke, but he doesn’t. His gaze is glued to you, his words as serious as they can be. You don’t know what to say, don’t know how to react. Your mind is frozen.
“What the fuck, Will?”
Will grins at that and shakes his head as if he’d expected your reaction to be no different. He keeps his stance, one knee on the floor, as he stares at you affectionately—with so much love you’re surprised he doesn’t explode from it. The man is enjoying your confusion and the fact that he managed to pull it out of you. He’s not ashamed to admit it, either.
“That’s the kind of reaction I was hoping for,” he says quietly and in a matter of time, his hand is on your thigh, tracing invisible circles on the soft fabric of your pajama pants. “You were always going to say no for the first time.”
You blink at him, trying to coax out words from within you, but you don’t find any. That only makes you even more confused, and your expression turns to a frown. Is he really… asking you to marry him?
“I know, I’m quite the romantic.” He pauses, trying to stifle his chuckle. “Do you want me to ask you the usual way?”
“Will, are you serious?” you ask, your voice so gentle the words barely sound like they’re yours. Will only nods his head. “I don’t want you to ask at all. I want us to get married as soon as possible.”
He reaches down to grab your hands in his. “I never believed in marriage. I’m not sure if I do now either,” he admits awkwardly, playing with your fingers. “But I really want to hear people call you Mrs. Graham.”
Your heart jumps as he speaks as if you’d been waiting for him to admit those words for years. The words sink in slowly and your eyes become distant, as if you’d been taken back in time. A warm feeling spreads across your chest like you just swallowed a whole bottle of wine in one ginormous gulp.
“You know I can’t say no.” Your words are quiet and soft. He pulls you down onto his lap, his hands still around your fingers as he brings them to his chest. “Can I call you mine too?” 
“Always,” Will replies, his voice low and quiet, but full of love and emotion. “It’s been you all along.”
A soft smile rests on your face as you look down at him. Your head is right above his, but you decide to close the tiny distance between you by leaning forward and pressing your lips against his. You feel your heart race as you do so.
“Did you come up with this to distract me?” Your voice is playful, but the air around you is thick and humid. 
Will leans forward and wraps his arms snugly around your waist, hugging you tight. Your fingers play with his curls, his head back on your chest. The whole weight of him hangs onto you like all the sins in the world, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Maybe,” he replies, a smile tugging at his lips, even though he seems serious.
You can feel his body shift, and suddenly Will presses you firmly against the growing hardness inside his jeans. The whimper that pushes past your lips as you feel it through the thin layer of your pajama pants is downright desperate. You both can’t hide the fact that your breaths are becoming more irregular, muscles tensing under each other’s hands.
“I like being distracted like this,” you whisper, your nose nuzzling against his temple. 
A low growl comes from the man’s chest. You’re close enough to the source of the sound to feel the vibration against your body. He presses his face to your neck, taking in the scent of your skin like he’s oxygen-deprived.
“Should I distract you too, Will?” you ask him quietly, tugging at his tousled hair.
“You’ve done enough, dear. I’m already distracted.” His voice is soft, and his words catch in his throat. Will doesn’t seem to have a single rational thought going through his head. It’s like all he can process is his need for you, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say this was a spell cast on him. “I want you.” His hand moves to your hip, and he presses into you harder, your breath catching in your throat. “Please.”
And who are you to deny him of anything his soul could ever want or need? You don’t wait for more encouragement as your fingers start working on hastily unbuttoning his shirt. They trace the smooth lines of his chest, the scars that mark his skin, and every little detail of him—every part of his history that he once saw as a defect. It’s not. It’s who he is, who he’s always been—his past is a part of what made him the Will you know and love. 
Your fingers slowly make their way down to his belt and unclasp it too in one go. You graze over his hardness on accident, already feeling its heat through the thin layer. You let out a whimper and your whole brain starts to short-circuit. 
“Slowly.” Will’s voice is hoarse and raw, his fingers digging deeply into the skin of your hip. “I want to see you.”
The man doesn’t waste any time in waiting for your reaction as his hand moves up to your face. His touch is gentle as it pushes back your hair, his fingertips rubbing against the skin behind your ear before they start pursuing the shape of your neck—every muscle and tendon.
“Slowly,” he repeats, and you can’t help but groan.
Nevertheless, you obey, letting your hands explore every surface of his flesh again like he’s the perfect puzzle that you need to solve. His own mirror yours, sliding below the thin layer of your t-shirt, grazing over your navel, and pushing upwards.
Every move you make leaves its mark, causing his body to tremble even more. His breath becomes so uneven, you think he might fall apart at any moment. The mere sound sends shivers down your spine.
“Yes, like that,” he mumbles, and his lips are right next to your ear as he whispers these words. His hand moves again and starts to tug at your shirt.
You help him remove it in one go, left in only your plaid pajama bottoms. Will’s touch is familiar, one you could never forget—not like the dozen strangers through the past few years, you never even remembered their faces come tomorrow morning. But his touch sets you ablaze—burns and soothes at the same time, it’s unforgettable.
Will reaches up to pull your head against his so that you’re staring straight at one another. His touch is gentle, but there’s an intensity to it that you can’t mistake. His lips slowly approach yours with such an intense need that you can read it in his gaze. Even though he doesn’t say it, you feel that this kiss is more than just desire—it’s a need to be as close to you as possible, to never let you go again. His tongue delves inside your mouth, and you sigh into it.
The feeling of your skin pressed against his leaves Will desperate, his mind so overwhelmed and in a haze, he can’t even form the words to describe the sensation. His hand keeps moving as if your flesh were an addiction. The sound that leaves from his throat is something so close to a purr—he’s almost embarrassed. 
You feel his body tensing, his muscles flexing against yours, and your skin feels hot and all too sensitive. He’s taking advantage of this moment to touch you anywhere he can reach. His fingers leave no inch of your skin unexplored as he slowly begins to lower your pajama bottoms.
“God, you’re beautiful.” The sound of your voice draws Will’s eyes closed as he inhales deeply.
Will’s fingers glide down toward your legs, and he looks as if all his dreams are coming true at once. You see his eyes flicker open, and he looks at you with such intensity, such concentration, that it’s hard to breathe as you’re pulled along by an invisible force. He finally lets go of your chin so that he can drag your pajamas down further until they’re thrown across the room. 
You take his hands in yours, placing them over your breasts. And it’s only when his teeth drag across your neck, from just above your collarbone down to the crook of your shoulder, that he loses it completely. 
There’s no being slow or gentle when he pushes you away, standing up and pulling you to your feet. You take hurried steps back as he nudges you toward the bed. Soon enough, your calves hit the mattress and you fall back onto the blue duvet. You don’t even have a chance to take a breath, Will is hovering over you, elbows on each side of your head. 
“You’re gorgeous,” he mumbles, looking deep into your eyes—so deep you’re afraid he can see the broken soul behind them. 
You help him push his jeans and boxers down the length of his legs. The second they’re no longer an obstacle, Will’s fingers delve between your thighs, circling your clit teasingly with the gentlest of touches. Your lips part in a gasp, hands falling onto the covers to clench them in your fists.
“Will, please,” you plead between whimpers. He was the only one who could ever bring you to the point of begging, and you hope he knows it somewhere deep within. 
The man faces you with glassy eyes, swiping the tip of his tongue over his bottom lips. He doesn’t need you to say anything more, he just nods feverishly and lets your fingers guide him inside. The sensation of your heat gripping him tightly makes him groan, lips falling agape. You wrap your legs around his hips, crossing them behind his back, and pull him even closer. 
“Will,” you moan his name against his lips.
It spurs him on, makes him even more eager to please you. He draws back almost completely, then buries himself inside you again in one smooth motion. Your thighs tremble visibly, and it almost makes him smile. You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him deeply, fingers tugging on his curls. 
Will rocks into you deep and steady, one of his hands digging into the meat of your thigh with so much force it hurts—but goddamn, you love this kind of pain. And he makes it feel even more heavenly when his thumb begins to trace circles over your clit.
It doesn’t take him long to take you over the edge—hard and fast—turning you into a mindless, hot, whimpering mess. You mumble his name over and over again as your heat pulses around his length, making him come just a few moments after you. He claims your mouth with his, making you taste your name on his lips. God, does it taste heavenly.
Night came quicker than you realized, covering the sky with bright stars and a full moon. Despite it, it’s not pitch black outside. The shimmering snow reflects the shining lights, fighting off the darkness well enough. It doesn’t make you feel any less threatened, even though it should.
You’re wrapped only in the blue duvet that covered the bed, as you lie on your side, facing Will, who’s already asleep. His bare thigh is right against yours, and the heat of his skin is almost impossible to resist. You let your eyes wander across his body, his physique—he looks like a sculpture, a masterpiece of flesh and bone.
Your body still aches from his touch, and you feel like you’re a puddle of emotions with the sole mission of holding love, affection, and desire for him. You’re about as far away from being “fine” as possible. You didn’t even get a chance to tell him you’ll be working together from now on. He doesn’t know he’s allowed back in BAU, and you wonder if you should leave him unknowing for as long as possible. It’s not your greatest idea, but the idea of him breaking beyond repair terrifies you.
You try to calm your heart as it races and skips a beat every time his body shifts—the smallest movement seems like it could wake him up. But as you lie there in the darkness, his hand reaches out and finds its rightful place on your thigh again, his fingers barely grazing your skin. The sensation makes you almost jump out of your skin, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
“Why are you awake?” he asks with half-closed eyes.
“Can’t sleep,” you reply softly, wanting to touch him back, but not sure if you should.
“I figured,” he murmurs. “You didn’t sleep much yesterday either.”
You sigh sadly, you didn’t think he’d noticed. His hand moves up your thigh, almost instinctively, until it touches you just below your hip. It stops there, and your eyelashes flutter at its warmth against your skin.
“You can touch me.” Will’s voice is so quiet it’s almost inaudible, and you don’t have to be told twice.
Your fingers slip under the duvet, so the fabric doesn’t block your touch, and you begin to trace the outline of his leg with the tips of your fingers. Will’s eyes finally open, and he looks almost nervous at the intimate touch—until you find the spot where he’s ticklish. He lets out an adorable whimper, so naturally, you laugh and keep going.
“No, no, please stop,” Will moans, trying to fight back his chuckles, squirming as he tries to get away from your touch. The whole time he’s half-smiling, his fingers digging into the duvet for stability. He tries to grab your hands, but it only makes you laugh harder. 
You find another ticklish spot on the side of his torso and continue to tease him. Eventually, your cheeks hurt from smiling so much as you watch Will scoot back, out of your reach. Your sour mood from before is gone in an instant.
Will moves up so that he’s sitting up against the wall, practically on the edge of the bed, and he looks almost offended by your reaction. Your gaze shifts, so you can get a fuller view of him.
“I’m not as ticklish as you think,” he says, his tone serious, though you can still hear a tremble in his voice. “If you wanted to see me squirm,” he adds, “you could’ve found a different method.”
The words send a shiver down your spine, and you immediately pull the sheets up to cover the bottom part of your face, trying to hide your flustered reaction from his eyes. 
“You’re so cute,” he says, his voice just a whisper, almost as if he was afraid that anything above a murmur could wake the dogs sleeping by the fireplace. “So adorable.”
Will’s hand rests on your head, his fingers playing with the strands of hair that cover your ears. You can feel him studying you—how your nose twitches and your eyes almost close as you wait for his next words. Something about it feels intimate as if he’s taking in every detail of your expression one by one. It’s been a while since he’s done that, you didn’t even realize how much you missed it.
“You can pull it down, you know,” he says playfully, his hand still in your hair. “This must be suffocating.”
“I know,” you say quietly, as you pull the sheets down from your face.
Will’s fingers interlace with yours, and you can feel his thumb circling your wrist. 
“And yes, it is a bit suffocating.” You pull the sheets down to your collarbones, and a chill runs through your body as the cold air touches your arms. “Maybe you can warm me up.” 
Will smiles—a small, sweet smile, with a bit of mischief thrown in.  “Maybe I can,” his tone is playful as he pulls you close, your cheek finding a home on his chest, right above his heart.
After a few long minutes of silence and listening to the steady drum of his heartbeat, you turn to face him, resting your chin above his pec.
“We’re back on the team, you know?” you mumble almost mindlessly.
Will looks down at you, his expression gentle as he caresses your hair. 
“I know.”
His gaze trails down your face and lingers on your lips for a brief moment before it shifts again. There are so many things Will wants to say, but he can’t bring himself to do it—he fears it would ruin these quiet, peaceful moments between you two.
You don’t question how he already knows that, choosing instead to voice your other thoughts—ones that’ve been on your mind almost the whole day. “What did Alana want from you?”
Will’s hand pauses against your face when you bring up her name, and for a moment he seems speechless, which is rare a thing for him.
“I…” He trails off but then speaks again as if he’s found the courage to say the words. “Alana wants me to stay away from Hannibal,” he says quietly, his fingers moving on your cheeks, your brows, your chin, as if his hand isn’t allowed to stay still for a second without touching the flesh it can. “She’s sleeping with him.”
“Why does she want you to stay away?”
“Because I tried to kill him.”
You don’t even blink at his confession, there’s no fear in your gaze—no ounce of surprise. There was a time in your life when this revelation would’ve shocked you, broken you in half, but after your father’s death, when you’re faced with it, it’s… easy to handle. Will expected this kind of indifference, he knew you well enough to know you wouldn’t judge nor be afraid.
“How?”
Will lets your question hang in the air for a long minute before he speaks. He takes a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts.
“Not by my hand—not like that,” he starts. “Hannibal has a lot of… a lot of hold over me,” he pauses again, “he made me want to do it.” It’s probably the most vulnerable, the most genuine explanation Will has given anyone. He’s speaking to you from the heart and in pure honesty. “An opportunity fell on my lap to send someone after him, so I took it.”
You nod your head in acknowledgment—it makes sense to you. “It’s a shame it didn’t work out.”
A hint of a smile appears on Will’s face. He moves his fingers to the nape of your neck and to caress the lines of your ear—it’s something he always used to do when he was thinking and you were nearby. “Alana’s very upset with me.”
Will’s other hand slides over your thigh, his fingers teasing the skin, almost as if he was trying to test it, like a cat with a piece of string. He’s still thinking when his hand starts to move upwards, closer to your hip.
“Don’t take it to heart,” you advise him, leaving a soothing peck on his jaw. It was the best you could do.
“I’m trying.” He laughs in a low rumble, his hand moving between your legs and your whole body tenses. “I’m trying,” he says again.
The touch is so soft and gentle—almost teasing, yet your body seems to be craving it. It makes him nervous, but also excited, and when he closes his eyes his head just falls back to rest against the wall, his teeth showing as he breathes in deeply.
“Would you have done this if I…” his words trail off into silence as the man doesn’t seem certain about how to finish his sentence. He looks at you, his face revealing all the questions that he doesn’t dare to ask.
You grasp his jaw between your hands, encouraging him to speak his mind, but being unconditionally patient at the same time. He tries to say something again, then changes his mind. It’s as if he’s playing a constant game with you, trying to reach into your mind without opening his mouth like most people do.
“If you…”
“If I was still the same,” he mumbles out finally.
“Will, you are still the same person. Perhaps a little more broken than before, but it’s still you.”
Will stays silent and still for a minute with his eyes closed, his hand still between your legs. The tips of his fingers keep barely touching you, almost a caress, although a bit harsher than before.  His lids flutter open, so you can see his face as it’s lit by the moonlight.
“There’s something I’d like you to promise,” he says cautiously as if every word is carefully thought out before he speaks it aloud. “Promise me that you’ll keep trusting in me... even if you don’t understand.” 
Will’s hand moves up from between your legs so that he can touch your waist and hold you in place. The fingers of his other hand stroke your face down to the side of your neck, and you can feel how your heart starts to beat faster and faster with each touch.
“I will always trust you, Will. Just never lie to me again, have a little faith in me too.”
Will lets his eyes fall down to your lips again, and he can’t help but bite his own in response. As if he was trying to hold himself together but the urge to kiss you was almost too strong, the way his gaze kept shifting. 
When his lips touch yours—it’s a long, slow kiss, deep and gentle at the same time. He holds you in place, your hips pressed against his as if he doesn’t want you to move, even a centimeter. And you don’t dream of being anywhere else but here—by his side.
“I love you, Will.”
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vampire-eros · 2 months
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i had a discussion with my partner the other night and like
a while ago, i'd say early 2022 i was kind of enlightened to exactly how bad the transmisogyny problem is I did something that some TMEs felt was offensive and… what happened? well. i received 1 ask reprimanding me for it. an UNRELATED TRANS WOMAN who DID NOT DO WHAT I DID, got the backlash for it and would experience regular, pointless, harassment about it.
and i received 1 singular ask about it and kind of sloppily apologized for it and never heard anything about it again in my askbox. while i would watch my mutual become bogged down and dogpiled about it… something I DID.
and i realized. oh. i really get it now. it's so bad that people would rather target a popular trans woman than a (currently) TME nonbinary person over something that the trans woman did not even do. people will literally make up stories to attack trans women. i understand what TME/TMA means, it's not a repackaged discussion of what's in your pants, it's a discussion about how you're treated in society.
and i think some TME people see that trans women/TMAs are rightfully upset and angry about what they've been put through, that trans women will try to clarify that their situation is BAD. it is TRAUMATIZING. it is ACTIVELY DEADLY. it is PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGING.
and they will see that and think "well hey!! what about me? i'm not a trans woman, but i'm affected by this too!!" and feel like THEIR problems are being dismissed, as if they don't go through transphobia, misogyny, toxic masculinity, and even death. but the thing is, i feel like a lot of them just don't see behind the scenes and see how hot the flames are for the circumstances trans women are being put in, even some of the struggles that people affected by transmisogyny hold in to try to create an environment that isn't festering with hate and sorrow.
imagine this situation is basically you are in an emergency room. and the order that patients are served are, most urgent patients come first. and yes, the transphobia, misogyny, white patriarchy, toxic cultish masculinity practices come down in one sweep. if you are trans, you are probably going to be affected by transphobia unless you are incredibly lucky, and we are all hurting. but some trans issues are much more urgent, more of an emergency and these people in our community are vulnerable and desperately need our support.
we need to stand up for our trans women and TMA nonbinary people (especially our black trans women and black nonbinary folk because they are in a doubly vulnerable position) and everyone else affected by transmisogyny because the way they are affected by this may be way more crazy and out of proportion than you think. easily, this issue currently going on with the tumblr CEO is shedding a sickening light on this problem.
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cinememed · 5 months
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₍ 🎞 ₎   the  great   (2020 – 2023)  rp  starters  ! featuring violence, explicit language & mature themes . some lines have been slightly adjusted for rp purposes .
if the crown fits ... take it.
i promised myself a great love. that didn’t work out. 
you fired something in me, and when i look at you now, i must have you again. 
i have carried a romantic idea of people all my life.
it was an act of love, not an act of betrayal.
i saw a great love as a kind of perfect love. maybe it's not.
you're delusional about people, about the world.
that is your great gift. but it's a curse as well.
we cannot change without cost, even if it is our own.
you are always seeking for me to look at reality. well, i am, and it's horrifying. 
it is a flaw for a leader to want love so much.
you don't believe in me. i've spent my life trying to get you to.. and you just don't.
the worst thing in life is to come up against your own limitations and stumble.
i can't stop loving you when you talk, it rushes me.
no morality, no philosophy, just win.
i think you have a large appetite that is not constrained by morality.
you are complicating me.
a great love, like a great country or a great leader even ... is a flawed one.
not as fun as me. because i am known for being fun.
it's .. close to enough.
you do this, and you can't come back. i mean it.
there are many versions of you, and you know i'm the only one who sees them all.
i never thought being doomed would feel so pleasant.
i am fucked. i have decided to embrace it.
sometimes you just take the next step and the path appears. 
i look at you ... and my heart breaks. for your pain. for your sorrows.
i will not live a powerless life.
i do not wish to avoid bloodshed. what part of that plan do you not understand?
sometimes i'm so clever, i have to take a breath not to become dizzy.
i think i was angry because no one has ever not liked me.
there is no other way. i am a prisoner here.
you think me more naive than i am.
we are always not quite as good as we wish.
i don't want to kill you. you're not a bad person.
i could kill you. you are a bad person.
you're so sweet sometimes, i could just kiss you on the nose.
people underestimate the joy in suffering.
it wasn't destiny that did it. i did it.
i'm not scared, and i'm not holding your hand.
you're lying, which is both out of character and really annoying.
i am as good as dead here. that's why i have nothing to lose.
i will not be at your, or anyone's whim.
i wondered what had happened to you! well, wondered might be too strong.
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asmosmainhoe · 5 months
Note
KAYA LISTEN TO ME-
Idk if you will feel this as much as me BUT
First you have to listen to "Get in the water" from Epic the musical. (If You didn't already xD)
Second:
How will the obey me boys react to seeing the MC in the position singing this/threatening the person that for example did something terrible to a person dear to them or even killed a loved one? Would they let them do it? Would they stop them? How would they feel about it?
For the past day I can't keep thinking about anything else and now I need your help because you always get the point that I want aaaaaagskyhskdh help
MC kills someone
MC has their magical abilities here and is manipulating the ocean
I really recommend to listen to Get in the Water by Epic the Musical, but you don't have to to understand this. It's mainly for the vibes
Gender: neutral
Warnings: threats, death, angst, MC is murderous, slight spoilers about what happens after you free Belphie from the attic in Mammon's and Belphie's parts
Lucifer
He knows what you're feeling right now, but he doesn't want you to do something you might regret later on
"Are you absolutely sure?"
As a response you only shoot him a glare full of rage and sorrow. That is answer enough
"Fine then. I won't stand in your way."
The person responsible for your grief has brought this upon themselves and Lucifer refuses to intervene
He will have your back the same way his brothers had his back during the Celestial war
Maybe he should. Maybe he should keep you from taking a life, but would he react ant different if they had taken you from him? It wouldn't be fair
So he stands still at a nearby cliff, silently watching the tides rise and listening to your angry roars
The other person falls to their knees, begging for mercy which only fuels you
Lucifer can't do much except be there for you once you finish the deed and he intends to stay by your side for as long as it takes
Mammon
He's very well aware of the fact that nothing in the three realms is going to talk you out of it, but he doesn't want to see you go down this path of destruction
"MC, you're better than this!"
"What if that person had killed me? Huh, Mammon? What would you do in my position?"
He knows what he'd do. After all he once held your dead body in his arms. The image still haunts him everytime he closes his eyes
Mammon is all for making people who take things dear to him pay, but you're his sweet MC. It pains him to see you go from the kindest person he's ever met to...this
He wishes he could take all the suffering from you and go through this hell himself
The last thing he wants is lose you so he quickly pulls himself together and decides to stand by you when you do it
"You really don't have to, Mammon."
"I do. I won't let ya go through this alone."
Because wherever you go he will follow you even if you're leading him to the deepest pits of hell
Leviathan
Like Mammon he's hesitant to let you do this at first
It's just that you've never been a killer in his eyes. You're his innocent human who occasionally kicks ass when the ass deserves it, but this is entirely different
"I want to do it by the ocean."
"W-what will you do there?"
"...drown them."
Yes. Drowning. One of the most painful deaths one can experience
Levi knows it, because he feels every single life that is being taken by the tides fading. They're his tides after all
Only then he realizes how serious you are about this and how nothing will stop you from doing it
"If you do it then I want to be with you. In the water."
You stare at him silently for a few seconds until you nod
He desperately wants to be there in case you drown yourself in your own grief
Satan
No one understands the rage that you felt the day this person took the thing most dear to you like Satan does
That day he felt it through the realms. It woke him up from his sleep and made him nearly tare down the entire house of lamentation
Your wrath still pulls on him to this day. It's making him go insane and he has no idea how long he's going to be able to keep calm. If this goes on any longer he might destroy the entirety of the devildom
That's also why he doesn't disagree with you when you tell him about your murderous plans. Maybe you both will have some kind of relief
Nothing could prepare him for the day
Not only does the sea rage under your hand. Satan does as well
It's as if something knocked out all the air in his lungs and he falls to his knees, desperately trying to control his shaking body
"Get in the water!"
He can hear your screams inside his head and he is so close to kill that person with his own two hands, but he wouldn't take that from you. He couldn't
"Get in the water."
Asmodeus
People might think that Asmo doesn't understand love. That he only understand desire and attraction on a physical level
But truth be told, no one loves the way he loves
So when you tell him what you plan on doing his expression turns completely blank and he takes your hands
You can see your own determination in his eyes
"Do you really want this?"
He whispers the words, but they're still hanging loudly in the silent room
"I do."
"Very well, love. I'll go with you."
"You don't have to, Asmo. It's my business."
"Oh, my silly MC. How do you intend to raise the entire ocean without channeling a demon's magic?"
You usually channel the brothers magic on accident, because you don't feel comfortable using their powers for your own gain
Asmo's offer is different. He has a point and looks just as sure about this as you are
If you wouldn't have decided to kill the person who hurt you the most then he would have done it himself
Beelzebub
Ever since grief took over you Beel has been eating less. Seeing you in so much pain makes him feel sick to his stomach. All he does all day is worry about you so there isn't really the time to eat something either
He's of Levi's and Mammon's opinions when it comes to this. Beel doesn't want you to walk the dark path of revenge and self destruction
Belphie is living proof that the hatred doesn't end and only takes over everything that makes you...well you
Seeing his brother in such despair was bad enough, but he can't handle seeing you like this as well
But he gets it. He felt the exact same when he lost Lilith. There were less murderous intentions though
"MC, please don't. You saw what it did to Belphie-"
"And none of you stopped him."
Ouch. Even though your words hurt, Beel won't hold them against you. He knows it's the anger in you speaking and not you
Nothing will change your mind so the only thing he can do is support you and make sure you don't kill yourself in the process
Belphegor
He knows. He knows it too well and is just waiting for you to come up to him. To come up with a plan similar to his during the time he was locked up in the attic
Belphie is the last person to stop you. It simply wouldn't be right if he did, considering how he lashed out on you back then
"Use my power, MC."
"Are you sure?"
Of course you know that you don't have to ask him. If anyone would help you with this then it was him
"I owe you. For forgiving me."
You don't think twice about taking him up on his offer and the two of you immediately get to work
The sound of crashing waves is deafening, but Belphie can hear your screams loud and clear even though there is quite a distance between you and him
The murderous look on your face, the rage you wield the tides with and the lack of life in your eyes remind Belphie of himself
And the day he killed you
---
Masterlist
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a-d-nox · 2 months
Text
pac/pap: how to promote self-love going forward
take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.
last pac/pap: message from your secret admirer
want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!
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pile one
you might settle for less because you likely get caught up in the drama and find it fun/addicting in the moment. you pursue goals/ideas with focus, but often lack the confidence to back it up. or you wait too long for others before moving on.
i believe love has taught you that you should never settle too quickly. it is best to date multiple people before starting an exclusive relationship. don't get overwhelmed by relationship drama because it will consume you and ruin your day (but only temporarily because nothing is forever - so why stress?). you know now not to let others stick their nose in your relationships - too many opinions will taint your feelings. the biggest lesson is that you learned to cut off anything that interferes with your desires.
i feel like you are jealous maybe a lot of people around you are coupled and you are alone. be cautious because you don't know when you might ruin your relationships with others just because you feel unhappy with your situation. stop worrying about being judged or how often you are rejected - it doesn't matter you are going to find someone in due time (you are worthy). you are loving, nurturing, and protective.
you can nurture yourself by getting out there. you have been alone and isolated for too long - so get out there. stop refusing to look within for what you truly want. ask for support to get what your truly desire, especially in the social sense.
what i feel you need to hear is that you have a strong energy - you are gifted with the ability to receive what you need most from the universe. don't rush or force things - what is meant for you, will find you. you are passionate, creative, magnetic, and attractive. you are also nurturing and dependable. you are one of the most supportive person in most people's life. you have many things - you attract the world and its gifts to you. you don't settle for less - when something is missing you go looking for it. you follow your heart and instincts; you make room for new things to bring joy/happiness.
pile two
i feel like you struggle with maintaining balance in a connection and that might just be the source of why you settle for less. you get too invested in a connection and then you loose track of who are and what you want and need most in a connection. you often find yourself prioritizing the other person over yourself.
love has taught you that things can change very radically/unexpectedly and cause you to question everything. you have learned that you have to let go of certain aspects in your love life, so that you can make space for new things and even new people can better help you grow and thrive.
i feel like you are sad presently or are in the process of recovering from some sort of emotional pain/disappointment. sorrow doesn't last forever. you are very capable of healing - new experiences await you. not all new experiences are destined for heartbreak - have faith.
you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to succeed in love and be the perfect partner/person. perfect is impossible - so be generous with yourself because right now you are only burning yourself out. to nurture your wellbeing, you should stop judging your productiveness and stop comparing yourself to others - delete social media and take sometime off where you don't have to do anything at all (no doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, etc.). do what brings you joy and say "no" to everything else.
i feel like you need to hear that you are a patient person who realizes that change doesn't happen overnight. you celebrate the small wins with small cute things (for example, maybe you survived a hard week and you get yourself a cupcake). things are getting better so just acknowledge that they are. you can recognize when things have been blown out of proportion or things are being exaggerate for dramatic effect - you are human bullshit detector which is a rare find. even rarer still you have the ability to find a resolution to any argument. you are presently working on not letting other people's expectations of you throw you off of your path. you can make your own path and you know it. you trust that you are capable of standing independently of others, and you are capable of anything.
pile three
i don't feel like you are the type to settle for less than you are worth - i get the feeling that you are slightly cocky about your situation. you might need to practice being humble in a connection because you can come off as judgy or as though you have a superior attitude. alternatively, you might find yourself in connections with people who are very controlling and you might not recognize that you are in that type of connection until it is too late. it is not your fault that you might have settled for less than your worth in the past - you just found yourself in the wrong place and the wrong time and experienced a toxic relationship.
i feel as though you learned that a partner doesn't need to be flashing or exciting instead they need to be stable, grounded, and trustworthy. you have had the flashy connections in the past and it was not the best. you need something more sensual than passionate. something that grows slowly over time so that it lasts.
your intuition is never wrong about the people with interest in you, so learn to trust yourself. you are very emotionally intelligent, so trust that you have the answers you seek about any connection. trust your gut instead of overthinking and overanalyzing.
cultivate your intuitive powers, so you can manifest your dreams into reality. to nurture yourself i sense that you should reconnect with nature and recharge with the the power of the sun. you should also focus on healing any and all blockages that concern your self-esteem/self-worth.
you might need to hear that you are nurturing and dependable. you are one of the most supportive person other's life. you have many things - you attract the world and it's gifts to you. you realize that things can change very radically/unexpectedly and cause you to question everything. you have learned that you have to let go of certain aspects in your love life so that you can make space for new things and even new people who can help you grow and thrive. you know that heartbreak is temporary and that time heals all wounds. you can heal and grow as soon as you believe that you are worthy and that no one wishes to hurt you or your heart. it's okay to be hurt but you have to release that pain instead of bottling it up so you can recover.
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xcherryerim · 2 months
Text
Chocolate Kisses
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"Who can love you like I love you? This warm and yet distant sweet dream" - Underwater by Red Velvet
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Mike Schmidt x gn!reader | word count: 2.3k
- SMUT ONE SHOT | MDNI | 18+ ONLY! -
Warning: oral sex (to reader, no genital specified), penetration, unprotected sex (wear condoms yall pls) , A lot of teasing, facial, porn with plot (also a bit of fluff)
Disclaimer: This is my first time writing penetration in a gender neutral aspect. If there is any mistakes let me know so I can go back and change it. Thank you!
Summary: After another failed date that makes you feel like you will never find love, you go to your best friend's place (Mike), searching for comfort, but he ends up showing you the love you’ve been craving (and also something big and thick). 
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You gripped the steering wheel until your knuckles turned white, tears welling up in your eyes, struggling to keep yourself at bay as you drove through the dark streets. You couldn’t bear the thought of being alone right now and drowning in self-pity. You needed to be with someone who could understand, and that person was Mike.
Once you arrived, you wiped away the tears as if trying to hide your sadness and sorrow. You cried in front of Mike many times, even over small things like watching a sad movie. But he couldn’t handle seeing you cry because of heartbreak. You took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. The quiet street made you even more nervous as you waited for Mike to answer. After a few moments, the door swung open, and the sight of him struck you in all his glory. His hair dripped with water from a recent shower, and the scent of minty shampoo wafted all over the air. The dreamy sight of him mesmerized you.
“Hey… Aren’t you supposed to be on another date today?” His raspy voice brought you back to your depressive reality. Mike’s head tilted as you tried hiding your puffy eyes behind your hair. You were praying he wouldn’t notice your pain, but your heart sank again when you saw the look of pity that flashed across his face.
“How do you think it went?”
He stepped aside, allowing you to enter his home, and closed the door behind you. “You know I’m always here to listen,” he says, leading you to the living room. “Why don’t you sit, and we can talk about it over hot chocolate?”
He disappeared into the kitchen, returning moments later with two steaming mugs of the comforting drink. As you accepted the mug, he sat down next to you, his arm resting on your knee, as he gave you a reassuring smile.
“Just take your time and tell me what happened.”
You sipped the hot chocolate, the warmth from the drink and Mike’s pats on your knee spreading over you. “It was just like the others, Mike,” you began, tears welling up in your eyes again.
Mike sighs, staring off into space before he speaks. “I hate when you—“ he starts before his tone softens at the sight of your sad eyes. He searches for the right words as they catch in his throat.
“I don’t get why you keep trying,” he says, his voice quivering with concern and exasperation. “That’s all.”
Your eyes were already welling up with tears, but his words hit deep, and you could barely speak. “Mike—“ you choked out.
“No!” He shouted, clenching his fists and tightening his jaw. “I hate seeing you suffer over the same thing!” Mike’s anger flared, but his emotions weren’t directed at you. Instead, fear and frustration fueled him because of your suffering.
Mike can’t stand to see his friend, the person he loves, hurt by failed relationships repeatedly. He’s frustrated and angry, but most of all, he’s tired of seeing you devastated when things go wrong. Mike wants to protect you, but can’t.
“I’m sorry,” you utter, eyes filling with remorse and empathy as you look up at him. “You’re right. Maybe love isn’t for me.”
Mike’s heart broke into a million pieces as he heard those words. He couldn’t help but feel responsible like he had failed you somehow. As he sees you struggling to hold your tears, he whispers, gently cupping your face in the palms of his hands. “Don’t say that. You deserve love and you will find it when you least expect it.” You stare up at him, trying to believe him.
“I’m just so tired of the same thing happening, and I know you hate seeing me like this.” You try to hide your sorrow with a chuckle, but there is so much sadness behind the apology. “I feel so pathetic.”
Wanting nothing more than to relieve your agony, he reached out gently and wiped away the stray tear from your cheek. “You’re not pathetic, and you don’t have to go through this alone,” Mike voices with determination. “I’m here for you. Here for you, no matter what,” he murmurs, pulling away slightly. “And if you ever need a reminder of that,” Mike grins, “just look at me.”
“Mike— “you began, but he cut you off.
“I care about you more than I can express, and I want to be here for you,” he said. “I don’t want you to feel alone in this. And maybe, just maybe, I can be the person who makes you feel alive, happy, and loved.”
Mike pulled you close, his sturdy figure pressing against yours as his hands gripped your hips. The anticipation and tension of years of unspoken feelings and emotions make every touch more severe. As his lips crashed onto yours, you could hardly contain yourself with the rush of pleasure. The intensity of the kiss was almost too much to bear, but you found yourself wanting more when the two of you broke apart.
“Maybe it’s time to stop searching elsewhere and find what we both want,” he murmurs, almost as if he’s asking for permission.
You nodded, unable to form coherent words in response to his passionate kiss. “Yes,” you rasped out. “I want that too.”
Mike couldn’t help the sensual grin that spread across his face as he felt you nod. “Then let’s explore this together,” he whispered, leading you towards his bedroom. As you entered, he carefully undressed you, taking his time to appreciate every inch of your figure. His fingers traced the curves and lines, making you shiver with satisfaction, your moans growing shallow with each brush.
Mike knew exactly how to drive you wild, teasing and pushing all your buttons until you couldn’t help but beg for more. Each caress became increasingly bolder and more assertive, leaving no part of you untouched. His fingers traced the delicate lines from your neck, down to your chest, across your stomach, and finally stopping at your pelvis. “You’re perfect,” he mumbled, his eyes drinking into every inch of you like a thirsty man finding an oasis
He stepped back, taking a moment to admire his handiwork. His gaze lingered on your curves, tracing the lines of his fingertips along your skin as if he were trying to commit them to memory. With a sudden, decisive movement, he pushed you down onto the bed, his weight pinning you in place. The suddenness of it sent a thrill of desire coursing all over you.
His lips traced a path from your collarbone to your breastbone, his teeth gently grazing your smooth skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. You arched in response, crying softly as he continued his journey lower. His tongue danced over you, exploring every inch of your sensitive flesh, making the ache between your legs grow more insistent, demanding to be satiated.
As the tension built between you, Mike increased the pressure on you, eliciting grunts and pleasured gasps from you. You trembled under his skilled ministrations, and you found yourself lost in the sensual bliss he was creating. Your gasps, heavy and uneven, filled the room as you surrendered to the moment.
“Mike, please just fuck me already,” you implored, your fingers gripping his hair hard, a sign of the intensity of your desire. Mike whimpered softly, his eyes widening as he lifted his head to look at you.
“I know I am taking a long time, but I’ve been wanting this for years,” he whispered, his tone barely audible over your ragged breathing. You could feel the sincerity in his words, the depth of his desire for you. He released his grip on your thighs, his hands now tracing gentle, sensual patterns on you.
“Please, just let me take my time with you,” he pleaded, his eyes never leaving yours. “I want to make this as amazing for you as it is for me.” His words sent a shudder through you, and you nodded, unable to speak, your body asking for him to continue. Mike positioned your frame carefully, supporting your back with his chest and lifting your knees onto the soft mattress. He traced the head of his cock along your slick entrance, taunting and pleasuring you as he edged closer to penetration. His roughened fingertips grazed against your sensitive skin once again, each caress making a delicate dance of anticipation and desire.
As he finally pressed the tip of his erection into your opening, you arched your back instinctively. “Fuck,” you growl under your breath as the pain gave way to fulfillment.
Mike leaned closer, purring into your ear. “You can take it,” he assured you, his cozy voice sending a wave of excitement down your spine. His roughened fingertips traced patterns on you. After exploring your silhouette with delicate touches, Mike brought his hands to your chest, tracing circles around your nipples. His fingers playing around, exploring every inch of you, while his thumb was rubbing your swollen flesh in circular motions.
“If you keep making those sounds, I won’t be able to stop myself,” Mike declared. It seemed you were unaware of the delicate nature of his thrust, considering his massive presence and the way his skilled hands were sending pleasure down your entire being. You couldn’t resist the approaching climax, and yet, you yearned for even more of his touch.
“Harder, Mike, please.” You managed to say it in between whimpers.
His hips rocked forward, pushing his cock deeper into you. The sensation was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before—hot, thick, and demanding. Your form tensed up, bracing itself for the inevitable pain that followed, but it never came. Instead, a wave of intense gratification washed over you, making your entire being convulse in ecstasy as your bodies melded together like two pieces of a broken puzzle, finally fitting together perfectly.
As you felt yourself getting closer to the edge, you cried out his name. The sensation of him being inside you was overwhelming, making you beg for more. But instead of stopping or slowing down, Mike continued at the same pace.
“Yes, scream my name,” Mike growled, his grip tightening on your hips as he pounded into you relentlessly. The sound of your moans reverberated off the walls of the empty area, filling it with an erotic symphony. His thrusts grew more harsh, matching your rapidly escalating arousal. With each powerful slam, he pushed you to the edge, the air around you thick with the scent of sweat and desire.
Despite your intense climax, Mike persisted, his hips rocking fervently, driving deeper and deeper inside you. Your body convulsed under the overstimulation, your nails digging into the thin fabric of the bed, leaving small indentations behind. Your voice quivered as you implored for release, your form shaking with each plea, but he silenced you with a firm, possessive kiss on your neck.
“Just a bit more, please,” he begged, the scent of his desire intoxicating. His frame glistened with sweat, his muscles flexing with each powerful thrust, creating a symphony of sensations that filled the air. Mike started to mumble incoherent words, his face contorted in ecstasy as he fought to maintain control. It was clear he was nearing his climax. Mike’s words were lost amidst the primal sounds of passion, but you could feel the urgency in his tone, the desperation to find release. His build shook under the intensity of the moment, the muscles in his arms and back tense with exertion.
You could see the struggle in his face, the battle between his body and mind as he pushed himself closer to the edge. Mike’s ragged groans filled the space, while sweat glistened on him. At that moment, you knew he was about to lose himself, his form shaking with the force of his need. You felt his presence twitch inside you, each pulse an indication of his approaching end.
“Get on your knees,” he commanded. Even though your weakened figure struggled to obey he carefully lowered you to the floor, cradling you in his arms before setting you down. Your legs wobbled beneath you, but he held on to you tightly, his hands strong and reassuring.
His figure towered above yours, his arousal still erect and pulsing. He started to stroke himself in front of you, his whimpers soft but urgent as he cried out your name, lost in the haze of his desire. His release approached right after, covering your face and shape in a warm, sticky way. The sensation was overwhelming, a tangible reminder of the satisfaction he had given you.
Mike looked over at you, his eyes admiring the sight of your physique and glistening with his release. His own body trembled as he lowered himself to meet yours, still catching his breath. With a playful grin, he chuckled, “You know,” he utters, his tone low and sultry, “you look better like this.”
His fingers gently moved a piece of hair out of your face, framing it perfectly around your flushed cheeks. The look in his eyes was a mix of admiration and contentment as if he had found the perfect end to the night.
“Asshole,” you responded with a chuckle, returning his playful banter.
“I’m serious,” he insisted, his tone more serious. “I’ve known you for years, and you never looked better than right now.” A gentle kiss accompanied his confession on your forehead, his warm gasp brushing against your cheeks. Despite his teasing earlier, there was genuine admiration and affection in his voice. You couldn’t help but smile, feeling happiness wash over you.
“Let’s shower together,” Mike suggested, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “I’m not responsible if we end up fucking in the shower, though,” he added playfully as he made his way toward the bathroom.
For the first time in years, you felt truly happy and loved, and it was all because of Mike. All those unspoken desires between each other were finally fulfilled. A sense of peace flooded over you, making you realize that this is where you belong—with Mike, who truly understood you on a deeper level.
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Fin. Thank you so much for reading!
Should I write a pt.2 on the shower or what? >:)
If you only want to be updated on my smut works consider following @xxxcherryerim, I will be reposting my work there.
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klausysworld · 9 months
Note
Okayyy so i just had a idea and since you are amazinggggg with tvdu fan fiction, thought I might a request😅
Basically, yn is a wolf but for some reason or another, her puppy sized wolf is out of control and so whenever she gets emotional, she slowly starts transforming, like first she will get the ears and like the shift is slow but not painful anymore since it has been happening a lot and she just gets a headache.
Elena's gang except for Tyler and bonnie dislike her and Caroline doesn't have much of an opinion. She is usually a happy person since she is homeschooled so doesn't have to deal with any bullies or anything.
Klaus finds her with teary eyes and her wolf puppy ears out as she tries to stop herself from full on crying.
Klaus takes her in and cares for her and helps her control her wolf side so that her emotions don't control them. At this point, she loves her wolf form so much that Klaus has to scold her and treat her kinda like am actual naughty puppy and he even has a hard time keeping her in human form because she has learned that she can run off in her wolf form and not have to study
-✨
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Tamed and trained
Y/n’s parents had always been worried about her. She wasn’t exactly normal, being a werewolf anyways was hard enough let alone a completely out of control one. They assumed there must have been some sort of mutation in the gene system or something similar which caused her to turn at any time, like how only few vampires were rippers and few witches were siphoners.
They had been to the Bennett’s who told them that this had only happened a very rare few times since the first werewolf was created and that she would learn control as she grew.
Of course their first fear was she would be picked on, misunderstood and seen as a monster, so they kept her inside. And then they worried that her werewolf anger would be 10x worse as instead of having emotions heightened on a full moon, hers are 24/7. But it turned out she showed nearly every emotion but anger. But the tears were the worst. As soon as they started falling they knew they needed to hide her asap. The ears would sprout from her head, then the tail and claws, the nose and paws, until she were howling her sorrows for the world to hear.
And gosh did she cry when she was little, always in a puddle of pity and fear of her own shadow.
He parents had pretty much given up with trying to control her. Just locking her in the house and telling her to be quiet while they went out and tried to live like normal people, pretend they didn’t have a daughter that the council would kill to obtain.
When Bonnie grew up they tried to convince her to spell Y/n but Bonnie refused when she saw the fluffy ears a big sad eyes looking back at her.
They tried to have Tyler help her when he broke his curse but he wasn’t sure what to do either other than bond over the experience of being in wolf form.
So she continued to hide inside, only getting out when her parents had gone away, most likely to get drunk and forget their worries.
She knew she was an inconvenience for them but the harder she tried to control herself, the worse it made her feel and then she ended up turning again. She didn’t know how to fix the cycle she was trapped within.
But on that day, her parents had gotten a little too angry at her. Called her a freak and a mistake causing her to run as far as she could on her human legs, praying to god that she wouldn’t turn halfway through a step.
She huddled up to the big willow tree besides the Mystic Park and kept their until dark. Her sniffles were the only sound heard as she wiped her eyes and cheeks.
Her knees dragged to her chest and she rest her chin on top of them as she kept her cries to a minimum, hiccuping as she tried to fully stop.
It was the sound that drew Klaus Mikaelson toward the park that night. His eyes squinted as he spotted a girl in the distance, two large and fluffed ears on her head which twitched very few seconds. His curiosity was peaked and so he approached the source of such sad sounds and crouched before her. His hand slowly touched her knee making her jolt and look up at him alarmed. Immediately smacking the top of her head to make her ears go away making him frown and grab onto her hands
“It’s alright love” he mumbled as she shook her head and tried to squirm out of his hold. He sighed and resorted to picking her up which made her cry again and him to panic. “No no no” he whispered, covering her mouth with his hand and his eyes widening when a tail curled up between her legs and little claws scratched at his arms. “Oh bloody hell” he muttered before speeding her to his home and getting her on the floor just as she turned entirely.
His brows shot up seeing her so small, running around like a lunatic and barking continuously. He blinked in surprise and slowly shut the front door, locking it and walking around the smashed vase and torn painting as she chewed at his brand new sofa cushions with her tail wagging so wildly that her whole body shook.
He made a gradual approach but the second she was in reach, she had darted up the stairs making him sigh and chase her through the house for the next 20 minutes. Having a little too much fun for an almighty hybrid as he tackled a small wolf to his kitchen floor and kept her firmly to his chest until eventually she turned back.
Asleep and completely naked against him. He cautiously lifted her up and brought her to his bed, not wanting her to run off while he slept.
He slipped his boxers up her legs and henley over her head, not without peeking at her lovely little body of course, and quickly stripping to his boxers before tugging the covers over the both and watching her from the other side of the bed. He kept an eye on her for as long as he stayed awake, until the steady beating of her heart sent him to sleep.
When he woke he was entirely on top of her, her big eyes looking up at him as he lifted his head to find her squished beneath him and shoving helplessly at his chest.
He kept quiet and in response so did she, swallowing thickly as she watched him observe her. She didn’t comment as his eyes lingered on her nipples that stood out against the soft material on his top, nor the way his tongue wetted his lips when he studied her legs.
“Do you do that a lot?” He asked just above a whisper when his eyes came back to hers and she nodded with a blush of embarrassment coating her cheeks.
“I don’t mean to” she uttered and he tilted his head ever so slightly
“I wouldn’t have thought you did” he murmured and she kept silent. He thought to himself for a moment before making an unklauslike decision “I think I’ll keep you love” he told her and she opened her mouth to speak but he was already talking again “no arguing, I’ll teach you to control yourself and we’ll see what happens from there okay?”
“But my mother and- and school! I learn at home, I can’t-“
“Do you know who I am love?” He cut her off and she turned her head
“Klaus?” She questioned, having heard of him before when her parents were researching, the mention of him from Tyler and the smell of both vampire and werewolf which twisted together when she lay under him.
“That’s right little wolf, Klaus, now I’ve been alive a very long time, I can teach you much better than any mother could. And besides, your mother would’ve found you before I had if she were worried” he waved it off and she frowned
“She will be…” she whispered and he watched in amazement again as the ears formed at her head. His hand automatically reached out to feel the soft fur against his skin making her lean into him. He could feel the smirk pulling at his face as he calmed her back down
“Oh you’re right love,” he began, seeing her brighten up a little bit in curiosity, “she will puppy, so how about I’ll handle it okay? She’ll let you come here, you want me to help you don’t you?” He manipulated and she immediately fell into it, nodding and laying still under him. Klaus couldn’t help but admire how she looked beneath him, her big round eyes and wolf ears still on display. If emotion was what brought this out in her, he could only imagine how she would howl if he treated her the way he desired.
But he would wait, he needed to get her under control at least a little so that she didn’t destroy his house and hurt herself in the meantime. He didn’t believe she would be able to hurt someone else, especially not purposely but he saw how she basically ran into walls without a care and worried for her own sake.
He snapped out of his thoughts at the whine she produced, confused on his face before he realised his knee was inbetween both her legs and she had almost definitely never been touched like that. One because of her little wolf issue, and two because she clearly had a lack of time outside her home just based off how afraid she was outside and then looking in wonder at simple objects in his home. Not that it was an issue for him, the more unaware she was in general, the better. She would be easier to tame if he could train a fresh mind.
And she was just that, a breathe of fresh air.
Simple and appreciative. No matter how small a thing he did for her, she was smiling brightly with her tail wagging and ears up. Whether it be a new bookmark or a diamond bracelet.
He remembers when he told her she could decorate her own room, he had never seen someone get so excited so fast. The room looked completely out of place, the rest of the mansion was relatively dark and gloomy but her space was bright but soft, calming in a way instead of tense.
He loved how she was like that, calming. Whenever he was having an awful day, there she was in his lap, ears up and a book in her hands that he had ‘assigned’ her to read for her ‘schoolwork’. She seemed to have at least her ears out all the time, especially when he touched her, just a hand on her leg would have her tail wagging and he couldn’t find it in himself to make her stop.
But he found that if he did tell her to put them away, it was the only way she would do so.
He had found her in tears over two star crossed lovers in a book she had gotten from her personal library, a gift from him of course, and watched as she struggled to calm herself down. But the second he used a commanding tone on her to put the canine features away, they were gone and she was whimpering quite literally like a puppy being told off.
He found that he had more control over her wolf than she did. And he loved it, she was his good girl, his little puppy to play with and look after.
She kept his bed warm when he was gone and made his heart swell when he was there.
He loved seeing her so freely running around in her wolf form, finally able to control where she was going and what she was thinking as she chased the birds and and spun around to get his attention. Only issue was when she gained more control, he seemed to lose some. And she was quick to tease him, running circles around him and nipping at his ankles when he was busy, having him chase after her because she had taken his phone or worse: the white oak stake. Of course she didn’t understand the importance but to her it was a game and she wanted him to play too.
He understood her mindset of course and she was completely entertaining for him but it was a pain to have to hunt her down every time he needed her to practice her school work.
He would always remember the first time he turned to chase her down. The surprise in her eyes when she skidded to a halt and looked up at him. He must’ve been nearly 10 times bigger than her and although she should probably have been terrified, she yipped happily and darted for the tree line. He shook his head before following after the flash of grey and brown that weaves through the woods, ultimately pinning her down and bringing her home before claiming his prize for winning the game.
The prizes varied greatly, sometimes he got a kiss on the cheek from her, sometimes he would get to sink his teeth into her sweet skin, sometimes he would just lay with her, y/n on the other hand got very different prizes, on the rare occasion that she won he found himself wearing a face mask and cucumber on his eyes as she giggled and held his hand.
Whatever she did, whether she were human or a little wolf, he kept her happy and hidden from the rest of the world but this time she didn’t feel like a disappointment, she felt adored.
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cinnajun · 9 months
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ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: arguments with zb1
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a/n: omg i posted before midnight this is a big win
notes: yujin is not included due to his age!
wc | 1.9k
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jiwoong
the best way i can describe an argument with jiwoong is “mature”
you guys don’t argue often at all so when you do there’s usually a good reason for you to be arguing
perhaps it has to do with your living situation, or you’re not taking an issue jiwoong talked to you about as seriously as he wants you to be, or you feel like he’s spending too much time away from you
whatever it is, your argument will last max 3 days
day one is reserved for sulking, and you might end up staying the night at a friend’s house while jiwoong sits with hao and hanbin and tries to work through what he’s feeling
day two is for thinking—both of you think through things rationally and take mental notes on what you did wrong and what you think was on the other person
then, day three is for talking it out. you’ll decide on a place to meet that isn’t home, and you’ll work through everything while not getting upset or saying something unwarranted.
then, afterward, you’ll go home together and do something light and fun to cheer the both of you up
things go back to normal within four days, and you don’t think about the issue ever again
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zhang hao
fights with hao are not fun
hot take but i think he’s the type of person to ghost you when you make him too upset
so whatever you’re fighting over, be it the dishes or something he said, once he gets angry enough he will just walk out and not talk to you for a while
depending on how upset he is it can be anywhere from less than a day to three or four days with no contact between the two of you
so yeah this is kind of a red flag but you don’t fight literally ever so it doesn’t happen enough for it to be a big issue
and his reasoning for ghosting you is that he doesn’t want to say something he doesn’t mean and/or can’t come back from
hao knows he’s the type of person to just say something wildly untrue when he’s mad and his worst fear is doing that to you
he returns from his mental retreat so apologetically, even if you end up thinking you were more in the wrong
will bring you an apology gift (usually it’s flowers or some sort of sweet treat) and always has some big long speech prepared
you also apologize if you feel it’s warranted (which is almost every time)
things will go back to normal in max two weeks
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hanbin
fights with hanbin are big and emotional
like super emotional
this man is so in love with you that you being the source of any negative emotions is really hard for him to stomach
and it’s likely that, for the course of your entire relationship, you’ll fight maybe once or twice at most
so the fight you have is big and possibly the result of a lot of pent-up emotions that built up over a long period of time
you’re the one to walk out, and he’s full-blown sobbing by the time that happens
he feels miserable for the next couple of days
you two don’t ghost each other but it’s minimal contact and you can barely look at one another without crying lol
hanbin will probably end up staying elsewhere and you’ll stay home, drowning your sorrows in ice cream while you cry on the phone with your friends
when you’re both sound enough to work it out, you two just kinda cry apologies at each other
when the time comes for you to actually talk it out, it’s pretty easy and you’re left wondering what exactly the fight was over in the first place
hanbin will kiss every single part of you after the wound is patched up
and then he’s attached to you for the next couple of days lol
things go back to normal in maybe three-ish weeks? like that’s when he stops being super clingy and you go back to regularly scheduled programming
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matthew
fights with matthew are small
he seems like the type of guy to be able to talk out big issues without it blowing out of proportion
so any larger problems the two of you are like … worked out via controlled and calm conversation
then you will have a blowout argument over you losing one of the sweatshirts you took without asking (your mom took it to the dry cleaners and didn’t tell you)
your arguments are petty and it’s a lot of really fake words thrown back and forth
so it’s not like one of you is being unnecessarily mean to the other, it’s from both of you
you don’t talk for a couple of days (also mutual) and then your mom’s dry cleaning shows up with the sweatshirt in tow
you send him a picture of it with some tear stains on it and he’s like … are you crying
then he’ll show up at your house not even thinking about the sweatshirt, just the fact that he doesn’t like it when you cry
will do anything to get you to stop crying
apologizes 18 times and puts on the tear-stained sweatshirt while going “wow, it’s so clean!” in hopes that you’ll at least laugh
after he fixes the crying situation you apologize too and suddenly it’s like it never happened
things go back to normal in a week
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taerae
fights with taerae are quiet
tbh i just think his anger/sadness/any negative emotion is quiet
there’s no yelling, no crying, no insults, no nothing
the argument itself will be a bunch of isolated statements paired with scoffs, rubbing your tumbles, and feeling exasperated
neither of you leaves to cool off, and you just sit in different rooms after the fact
the next day might be a bit awkward and taerae will be somewhat cold towards you (and it would be a lie to say you don’t reciprocate the same exact energy)
but at some point during the day, while you’re sulking and laying down in bed, taerae will come in and lay down next to you
starts off by saying sorry and then you talk things out while just … laying there
he’s neither the type of person to take all the blame nor the type of person to shove all the blame onto you
like you could be entirely at fault but he will distribute responsibility equally between the two of you
he’s just the type of guy who really does not like arguing so he will do whatever he can to fix it quickly
after you’re done talking you’ll go on a long drive together
it’s aimless and quiet, but he holds your hand the whole time :)
things go back to normal within 3 days
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ricky
i think fights with ricky are turbulent
you never really know the direction they’re going to go in you know
you don’t necessarily fight often but it’s not like you never fight, either
i think it’s a healthy amount of bickering
somewhat like an old couple LOL
if you have a big argument, though, it’s pretty much the least fun you’ve ever had in your whole entire life
ricky isn’t the type of guy to yell and cry but he’s the type of guy to give you a look that makes you feel like crying
i also think he’d struggle to take everything you’re saying seriously so he might laugh in exasperation from time to time
which obviously makes you angrier
i think if you end up crying, though, ricky will have like a crazy moment of clarity where he’s like … oh shit
cue some crazy introspection
you’ll run off somewhere else in the house and he’ll just sit on the couch and think
he’s practically taking notes on the entire thing, and studying what he thinks was the most out-of-pocket for him to say and what he needs to apologize for
after he’s gathered his thoughts he’ll seek you out and ask if you’re okay sitting down and talking with him
and he will wait however long he needs to if you say no
he essentially says everything he feels necessary, ends it off with an apology and kisses your hand
then it’s over
things go back to normal within the day
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gyuvin
you bicker with gyuvin a lot and 99.9% of the time it’s silly and super unserious
that’s the type of couple you are yk
so your fights are born out of your little, unserious arguments actually going a little bit too far, and they last soooo long
and most of it happens in front of your friends which isn’t nice either
it starts out very small, with little jabs at one another
keeps amping up for the rest of the night, and once you both leave whatever hangout you were at, all your friends are like … they’re gonna fight guys get ready
they’re right
you argue the entire way home and when he drops you off he doesn’t even give you a good night kiss, which makes things even worse
you continue arguing over text and into the next few days all while acting like everything is fine
meanwhile, you’re texting your friends (separately) like can you believe that he just said that? can you believe he’s pulling this shit?
finally they lock you two in a room and tell you to figure it out because your arguing is annoying
you will painstakingly be like “okay maybe i went too far” and he essentially does the exact same thing
and then he apologizes for not giving you a good night kiss that one time and everything is fine
things go back to normal in like 2 weeks but just keep in mind for the entire 2 weeks you were just being passive-aggressive with each other
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gunwook
arguments with gunwook are born out of stress and aren’t really arguments
he’s a busy guy who’s doing a lot of things and sometimes he bites off more than he can chew
which isn’t nice because he refuses to be like “hey i might have to lay off boyfriend duties for a couple of days so i can work through all these commitments i made without thinking” because he thinks he’ll be a bad boyfriend because of it
essentially you’re not even aware he’s getting upset with you until the stress bubbles over one day
he accidentally tells you to leave him alone and let him work which makes you sad :(
but you do because you pretty much understand that he’s overwhelmed
but you’re still upset so you don’t just forgive him and move on because … idk … if he talked to you it wouldn’t have happened in the first place
is this petty … kind of yes but if you want things to change you need to put your foot down!!!
so you spend the next two or three days missing your boyfriend a miserable amount before he texts you saying “can we talk”
of course you can
you practically sprint to his house
and you talk!! and he apologizes for being mean to you while promising it won’t happen again
and gunwook learns from his actions so it really doesn’t happen again
things go back to normal in 3-4 days
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thank you for reading !
tags: @happysmileybee @wtfhyuck
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magicianslover · 1 month
Text
How Could You?
Lyney doesn't get you. He thinks he wouldn't, ever.
Because why must you do this? Why must you continue looking in his direction? Why must you stick to him like glue? Why must you smile every time you see him?
You're stubborn, he thinks.
Even when you sat in that trial as the Hydro Archon spills the fact that he's part of a dirty, cruel organisation, you still ran to him. You still smiled at him. You begged him no explanations, nor you turned your back. Instead, you opened your arms, and welcomed him in your embrace. And he hates how easily he lets a fool of himself easily slip into your arms. He hates how he let himself drown in sorrows in your chest. He hates how your arms tightened your grip around him, he hates that he did the same. He hates how he stained your clothes with his tears, because to him, you were being tainted by a sinner.
He hated that one, cold night. It was just him strolling through the streets, dealing with the haywires in his head. But suddenly, it led to him sitting at the edge of a cliff outside the city, with you by his side. He looks at you, chanting a song you barely knew the lyrics of, yet you still managed to lift the corners of your lips. The way the moonlight hits every part of you, he found himself immersed, he couldn't take his sight off of you. He found himself thinking,
Why are you letting yourself be tainted by a fool like me?
He looks away, his hat covering the despair looming in his face.
“You're no fool, Lyney.”
He quickly turns his head to you. His thoughts, they're getting too loud, filling his head that he let one escape, he let one be said by that lying lips. When his eyes landed on you once again, you were smiling. You always were, even when you're devastated or angry, whenever you look at Lyney, a smile never fails to be on your lips.
As much as he loves how it makes his heart skip a beat, he hates that it's for him. Why are you still smiling at him? Even after finding out about the truth he hid from you? Even after knowing the fact that he's a Fatui? He doesn't deserve it at all, he thinks you're better off turning your back on him, after all, no one would want to stick to a lying man.
But you didn't. You stayed.
If he rips his chest open so that you'll be able to see his heart that has all the proof of how much of a liar, a sinner, how much of an ugly person he is, would you finally leave?
He's a liar, almost every one of the words he has said to you was a lie. He was just practising for his and his sister's upcoming show? Lie. A minor inconvenience happened to one of the props that he had to go and consult the situation himself? Lie. They were late because Lynette had once again broke one of the appliances in the house? Lie. That one time you noticed him mindlessly staring at the night sky, asked if he was alright, and he said he's fine as the night's weather? Lie.
He's a liar, a sinner, a fool. You, on the other hand, are the complete opposite of him. He's afraid that if you remain on his side, he fears that he is slowly affecting you like it's a disease. He's scared to hurt you in any other way, that's why you should run away from him as far as you can, so that he wouldn't, he would never want to, but he fears that there will be a day where he will. He deemed himself unworthy of your touch, your smile, your stare, your kind words, your presence. You are better off without him.
So, why are you still staying?
“Because I love you.”
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the-dawn-star · 5 months
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Hii!! Can you do Jane x reader where she’s Jane’s mate but still human. One day some important information gets leaked out and everyone in the volturi thinks the reader leaked the info. (Aro can’t read her mind) So they question her for a long time and when she still says that she didn’t do it they make Jane torture her with her power. As Jane is torturing her someone walks in and says that she didn’t do it. By the time Jane stops the reader is passed out. Everyone and mostly Jane regrets what they’ve done. The reader doesn’t wake up for a few days and Jane is in absolute sorrow. And when she finally wakes up she doesn’t even look Jane in the eyes bc of the betrayal she feels. Just a lot of angst yk:))) Buuut they make up in the end. Thank youuu🫶🏻
A/N: Hi and first of all love this idea. I kind of made this longer than intended and I left it guite open ended but I hope you like it and you don't mind I changed it a bit. Once again Jane is the movie version of the character!!!
-S
+800ish words.
CW: I mean Jane tortures Reader. Heavy angst.
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Your relationship had been a struggle for a long time. You were still a human and now you were moved to Volterra to live with the vampire royalty. It was all so much, but so was your blossoming love for Jane. Your dear Jane. Jane whose main priority in life was protecting the kings and working. It was all that she had ever known, and you couldn’t even blame her for that. But Jane had started to open up to you as time went on. She talked to you about the most mundane things in her life but in truth you could have listened to her for hours.  
Aro hadn’t loved the idea of Jane finding her mate. He was so protective of the girl that he had found hundreds of years ago. And you didn’t make this protectiveness any easier. Quickly Aro had found out that his powers didn’t work on you. Reason for this wasn’t clear but after a bit of convincing Aro accepted you to move to Volterra to get to know Jane better.  
“My love...” Jane had the voice of an angel and that was the only thing that could wake you up from your sleep without making you pissed off.  
You let out a non-committal groan and opened your eyes.  
“I’m sorry but I need to go to work. There has been a problem...” Jane being evasive made you sit up in worry.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“I can’t talk about it yet, just stay here until I get back, okay?”  
You didn’t have time to answer until your mate had left the room leaving you alone on the cold bed.  
With a bit of hesitation, you laid back down and slowly fell back asleep.  
~~~ 
You woke up with your room door being slammed open. Two guards that you didn’t know walked in and didn’t give you any time before ripping you from the bed and dragged you out of the room.  
You begged for some sort of explanation. Anything that made you understand why you were being dragged to the lower levels of the castle... The levels where you weren’t allowed to go. The levels where Jane had to work sometimes, leaving her exhausted as a vampire can be.  
You were thrown into a small simple room, with a tiny table, chair and a bed, if you could call a mattress with a pillow a bed.  
It was a while before you saw anyone but when you finally saw a person you didn’t assume it would be Jane. Your dear Jane.  
“Jane! My love! What’s going on?!” You asked, hurrying to the door trying to reach your love.  
“Don’t..., I know what you did.”  
The love that you had come so used to was gone from her eyes. Her eyes were pooling with venom and her eyes were dark and sad.  
“What are you talking about?” You asked while feeling the anxiety rising up to the surface.  
“Don’t play dumb! You were the only one I told about the plans! Aro was read everyone's minds already! It has to be you so just admit it please!” 
Jane’s yells bounced off the walls and for the first time looking at her you didn’t see your love. You saw a terrified and angry young woman, who could case you more pain than you could ever imagine. Was this what most people saw when looking at your mate? Danger? Pain?  
“Are you talking about the Romanians? Is this all about that!”  
Jane had told you about Aro’s plan to kill the rest of the Romanian coven, but all the details she had told you were now erased from your mind by time.  
“Yes, it is, so just confess!” Your normally calm Jane, she was panicking.  
You didn’t have anything left to say. You were confused, scared, angry..., alone. Your only ally in the castle, your dear Jane, had left you.  
“Okay..., if that’s what you want...,” Jane’s words were ominous, and your stress level rose to the roof.  
Then the pain started. The pain that Jane had promised you would never feel. The blinding, fiery pain. You couldn’t feel your body anymore, it was just pain. Until it all went away... 
~~~ 
You finally opened your eyes. You woke up back in your bed and for a second it all seemed like a bad dream. You took a deep breath letting yourself sink into the mattress. But your peace was interrupted when you took a look around the room. 
Jane was curled into a corner of the room, eyes glued to you. Her sad eyes. Her black eyes pooled with venom.  
You couldn’t look at her, not right now at least, so you got up from the terribly comfortable bed and walked straight to the bathroom locking it behind you.  
You looked like death. Tired and angry, but you couldn’t do anything about that just yet.  
“I’m really sorry..., you have to believe me, my love. We really thought that it was you...” Jane’s words behind the door didn’t make you feel any better. And to make sure you didn’t lash out you stayed quiet. You had all the right to be quiet after screaming your throat raw.
~~~
Feel like you want to support me via Kofi? No preasure tho!
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