ROUTINE
i get that people crave routine - they like the stability and certainty of a routine. and a routine does help me sometimes but whenever i fall into a a repeating cycle i finding myself crawling to get out of it.
it gets draining and exhausting.
but i guess that may just be because i haven’t found the right routine for me.
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I'm not proud of my anger; not when most of it is my father's.
But I wield it nonetheless...it is useful sometimes.
But I fear this is what he had thought, when he was in my place, and saw his father's anger.
That's the thing about anger-
it never stays with one person.
It always breaches out and infects.
If one person is angry, surely and slowly, everyone is angry.
Or hurt.
There are two options, two reactions to an angry person;
You are angry or you are hurt
You either hurt or you hurt
Nothing good comes of anger
Someone in the end, always gets hurt.
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i keep waking up from the same
reoccurring nightmare
gasping for air
clenching the
sheets
the first part is more of a dream
i slip away from the
world i knew
find myself
faded
but then there’s you walking in
from the front door
after a busy day
with a perfect
smile
and you’re the one to stumble
on my body strewn
over your kitchen
this time taken
too far
-please don’t love me
-spade
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I give up
I give myself up
to this moment
eternal loop
I fade
with the movements
of my body
that’s exorcised by music
- from Catharsis, Ezra Rubin
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Sinking into the abyss.
Barely afloat.
It's pointless in trying any further to resist the inevitable.
Being consumed completely.
I spend the rest of my days reminiscing of what it felt like to once breathe.
- Litty
(Not my picture)
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Please help my grandpa fight cancer by sharing or donating thank you ❤🙏
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animal farm (1945) - george orwell
"womp womp"
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from In the House With No Doors by Sarah Kay
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the man who does nothing
that gets something
at the price of everything
the woman who does everything
that gets nothing
at the price of something
they're married
they don't make very good parents
the child who does something
that gets everything
at the price of nothing
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Because when something happens, she’s the person I want to tell. The most basic indicator of love.
Every Day, David Levithan
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i have a fear that love
is a poison
and i am the worst
variant it has created
that my love crept into
your bloodstream
and made you into
the monster i love
that i am to blame for
the massacre
that has been left
of what was once
whole
-spade
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You put your fist into my mouth
and the fingers bloom.
You fold my tongue like paper
and throw the words back inside –
shrieks echo inward:
I try
I try
I try
to bite your hand,
ruin your experiment of colonizing my reason,
but I have already become modified.
- Modification, Ezra Rubin
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Too many thoughts for one brain, too many anxieties for one heart.
@annoyingdreamlanddestiny
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