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hazelnutsforellie · 1 year

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truculent | e. williams ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

PAIRING— ellie williams x afab!reader

SUMMARY— archnemesis in the streets, fuckbuddy in the sheets (and on the table).

WARNINGS— smut (18+), language, sorta established fuck buddies, implied consent, jealous ellie, verbal top!ellie, sub!reader, fingering (r rec), oral (r rec), light overstimulation, dirty talk, choking, not proofread

WC— 3k

AUTHOR'S NOTE— this is my first post!! feedback would be appreciated so i can work on making my writing better :) ignore changes in tense i suck at sticking to just one (im working on it, swear). anyway, enjoy!

All of your friends, if not all of Jackson, knew that you and Ellie absolutely hated each other. They weren't sure why, or when it started, but it seemed that the two of you never clicked ever since you arrived to Jackson and made it your home.

It wasn't that you were complete opposites. In fact, you and Ellie were quite similar. Protective, quiet, attentive. Soft, sympathetic, affectionate. Maybe it was from your heads constantly crashing, wanting to take control over the other. Waiting for the other to just give in and stop the constant fight for the last word.

"I should probably head out soon," Dina advised as she picked up a card from the deck that laid in between you on the table. According to Dina, you were playing a very intense card game. "We can finish this game though. Got a four?"

"No," You replied with a sigh as your eyes scanned your cards, causing Dina to roll her eyes at you for not saying 'Go fish.' You continued, "I'm getting tired anyway. I don't even know how to play this game."

"I told you how. Twice," Dina shot back, playfully rolling her eyes with a smile when you stared at her with an honest expression. The two of you were sitting at your small round table, in between the kitchen and living room, that could be seen from the front door. Your back was facing the door, trusting Dina to keep an eye out for it.

"What do you know how to play?"

"Poker," You admitted flatly.

"Poker?" Dina couldn't believe you knew how to play poker but not go fish.

"Yes?" You answered, confused as to why she was confused.

Knocks erupted at your front door, causing you and Dina to fall silent and turn your heads toward it. Dina's confused expression grew stronger, and yours went from surprised to anxious. You knew exactly who it was, and you had no idea how you were going to get out of it without Dina finding out.

Despite the fact you and Ellie are enemies, the two of you have a rather interesting nightly routine. Nearly every night, Ellie visits you. Not because you're friends, or because you want to have a casual conversation.

Somehow, the two of you found yourselves lusting for each other. A one and done wasn't possible. It was almost, almost as if the two of you fought just to have an "excuse" to "address" each other. Dina has taken note of the way Ellie watches you when you're not looking, mainly to admire and to protect you, in a sense. Dina didn't think of it as weird, though. She had a feeling she knew what was going on because of your suspicious behavior whenever Ellie is mentioned.

"Are you gonna get that?" Dina asks, raising a brow at your back since you were now turned toward the door, your upper body doing a full 180.

"Shit, yeah," You murmured, standing from your seat to make your way toward the front door. As you made your way over, you scratched the back of your neck, worried that Ellie was going to leave you to explain.

You pulled the door open to be met with... Ellie. There was a twinge of hope that it wasn't, for the sake of your secret staying hidden.

"Ellie," You said flatly, your eyebrows raising at the same time as Ellie's. As your eyes fell on her, her eyes fell on Dina. Both of you felt an instant panic. You both had the same look but for different reasons. Ellie was surprised to see Dina, knowing what situation she had at hand. She could feel her heart begin to race, and so did yours.

Luckily for Ellie, she had to go on patrol with you earlier in the day, and could use that to her advantage. Maria insists that it's necessary for you and Ellie to patrol together and try to make amends. The problem was, there was nothing to make amends for. You have clashed [for no reason] since the beginning.

"You have my knife in your bag from patrol earlier. Y'Never gave it back to me," Ellie lied on the spot, and you instantly felt relieved from her save.

"You sure?" You pushed, raising a brow. You were testing very shallow waters, knowing that what you were doing was going to make Ellie angry. Ellie was taken aback by your response, and Dina could feel the tension growing thicker.

"I gotta head out anyway, I'll talk to you tomorrow," Dina said, mainly toward you, before passing Ellie and making her way down your steps toward the road. Ellie watched as Dina disappeared out of view before turning her head to look at you.

Her eyes were stone cold, as if something had already pissed her off before she arrived. Her hair was messily put up in a half down bun, her loose hairs blowing against her cheeks.

She didn't say anything. Instead, she just backed you into the house without a word, tilting her head in annoyance.

"Why didn't you help me?" she inquired calmly. You weren't sure if it was a play, because normally, Ellie isn't as calm. You quirked an objective brow at her, backing up a few steps as she walked in.

"You handled it quite well--"

"Don't start," Ellie sighed, closing the door behind her with her back facing it. You heard the faint click of the deadbolt locking, followed by Ellie's footsteps. "I've had an awful fucking day, and I don't need you getting bitchy with me over a question."

You were used to Ellie's mouth, it wasn't anything personal. She swears more than a sailor.

"I was being serious... What's your problem?" you admitted, noticing the slump in her steps as she came in. She looked frustrated yet exhausted. You knew Ellie was serious too, you could tell that something upset her. It's not like Ellie would open up to you about it either, you just had to wait and see if she brought it up on her own.

Ellie didn't care to waste time staring and cut right to the chase, grabbing you tightly by your waist before walking you backwards, taking you by surprise.

"My problem?" Ellie snarked with her eyebrows furrowed, her grip tightening on your hips. The back of your thighs pressed against your table, and you couldn't see it, but you could hear all of the cards getting shoved off of the table, plummeting to the floor. "Don't act like you give a shit."

"Ellie--" you tried to speak as her slim fingers of both hands moved to the underside of your thighs, lifting you onto the table. You weren't opposed to what she wanted to do, it was a mutual understanding. The two of you never particularly said you were "fuck buddies," but you didn't have to since Ellie was at your house nearly every night, and was just as bossy as usual. On nights she doesn't show up, it's mainly to piss you off and rub it in your face the next time for waiting on her.

You weren't sure what to make of the situation. When you passed each other in the streets of Jackson, you would nudge shoulders, or send each other glares. But whenever you would find yourself in bed with her, you couldn't help but feel like she doesn't hate you based off her actions.

The pure definition of mixed signals.

"Try to keep your mouth shut, yeah?" Ellie cooed to tease you, her cold knuckles grazing on your tender skin from underneath your shirt as she unbuttoned your pants. "I know you can't help it, sometimes."

"You're the worst--" you groaned at her dirty comment, using both of your hands to stabilize yourself on the table. You were cut off by Ellie's lips aggressively slamming onto yours, her top lip fitting between yours perfectly. She quickly unbuttoned your pants and used her left hand to wrap her fingers around your neck, pulling you by it to kiss you harder.

Ellie rarely kissed you, not because she didn't want to, but because she didn't think you would like it. You use each other for sex, and hate each other. Why would you care for a kiss?

Truthfully, you did like it. You craved the touch, especially when she makes you feel so good, hence why you nearly always initiate it. When you do kiss her, she returns it. Unless it was a really bad day, then she's a stone.

"The worst makes you wet like that?" Ellie cockily shot back, her breath hitting your lips as her fingertips of her right hand grazed your slit through your underwear. You didn't even notice her finish unbuttoning your pants and slide her hand underneath. Your chests were nearly pressed together, Ellie's height slightly dominating yours from your sitting position.

If you weren't so lust drunk, you'd say you both looked pitiful. Firing piteous shots back in forth to act like you hated each other when you were actually melting into one another. Every time you slept together, that is.

"So cocky," you mumbled, not really caring if Ellie heard you or not. The pad of her ring finger slid up your clothed slit, sending shivers up your spine to your neck, where her other hand suddenly landed.

"Are my ears ringing or did you say something?" Ellie mocked your attitude, her grip tightening on the sides of your neck. You were speechless, caught off guard by Ellie's harmless aggression. You knew she wouldn't hurt you. Ellie has grown less hostile each time you've slept together. What you couldn't shake was how she would go right back to resenting you afterwards.

"That's what I thought," she purred, her fingers teasing the waistband of your panties before diving underneath. You shivered, feeling the cold fingertips of her ring and middle finger glide through your slit, a short breath falling from your lips.

You hoped Ellie didn't hear it, but she did. Of course she did. Your lips were right next to her ear since she couldn't stop herself from nipping at your neck, suckling your tender skin. Ellie tended to leave hickeys where she knew you would have to hide it carefully.

Ellie suddenly pulled away from your neck, her eyes casting down to your lower half as she began to tug at your pants.

"Up," she uttered, followed by you lifting your lower half so she could tug your pants off your legs while you hovered over the table. Then, Ellie's hands landed on your shoulders, pushing you down so your back was flat against the solid wood. Her fingers trailed from your arms to your hips, tugging your panties down your thighs just enough to give herself access to you.

"I have a question for you," Ellie said in a low tone, her middle and ring finger sliding up your soaked slit before sinking into you, causing you to let out pitiful moans while she spoke. "Dina. How long as that been going on, hm?"

Her fingers were sending waves of pleasure throughout your body, and you couldn't think of a proper response. "W-What?"

"Don't play dumb," Ellie muttered, her head slowly shaking in disapproval as she began to fasten the pace of her fingers thrusting in and out of you. "My god, you look pitiful."

Your moans nearly pulled one out of Ellie as she carefully watched your face contort in pleasure, feeling herself grow more soaked by the second.

"I've never slept with Dina," you managed to say between moans, not that it was Ellie's business in the first place.

"Bullshit," Ellie accused, curling her fingers inside of you. You slowly began to piece it together, and realized that Ellie knew Dina was at your house before she even got there. She just wasn't expecting Dina to still be there when she showed up.

"You don't own me," you snapped back, and Ellie's reaction surprised you. In fact, Ellie was just as surprised. Ellie took pride in being able to make you melt underneath her, no matter how much you claimed to hate each other. You felt her fingers halt inside you before you didn't feel them at all.

You whined, using your elbows to partially sit up. Ellie leaned down, her lower half pressing into yours while she stabilized herself with her left hand on the table. With her right hand, she held her fingers out not even an inch away from your lips, and she could've sworn she saw you shrink.

You knew what she wanted you to do. Without making her tell you what to do, you maintained eye contact with her while you accepted her fingers into your mouth, licking them clean.

"Oh, yes I do," Ellie cockily shot back for your snappy remark. Ellie believed she owned you, and it was easy to understand why. You proved her point for her.

She gave you a small smirk before she quickly sunk down, maintaining eye contact as she knelt before you so she was at eye level with your core. Her grip on your thighs tightened, pulling them further apart before diving her tongue between your slit, lapping up your juices before sliding her tongue up to your clit, flattening her tongue.

You weren't shy when it came to expressing how good she made you feel. Your hands flew to her auburn strands, fingers curling against her scalp. Pretty moans fell from your lips the moment her tongue made contact with your core. Your moans alone were enough to make Ellie cum at the touch when they're because of her.

"Oh, fuck," you whined helplessly as the tip of Ellie's tongue swirled around your sensitive bud skillfully. You could feel an orgasm creeping up on you at an abnormally fast pace. Ellie hummed against you, closing her eyes to savor you, her lips wrapping around your clit before suckling. "F-fuck!"

Ellie nearly moaned from how sweet you tasted, not wanting to stop until you were shaking. You bucked your hips into her face, causing her to wrap her arms around your thighs from underneath, tightly holding them in place.

"Please don't stop," you begged, running your fingers through her hair before fisting it, tipping your head back in pleasure. Of course, Ellie couldn't comply. She captured your sensitive bud between her lips, tenderly sucking one last time before pulling away.

"You taste so fucking sweet. This is all for me?" Ellie asked you, looking up at you with mocking doe eyes, using her right hand to tightly squeeze your inner thigh, her thumb rubbing tight circles on your clit as she continued to half-kneel in front of you. You were close, that was for sure. She could tell.

"Y-yes," you stammered through soft moans, still sitting up on the table with one hand behind you for stabilization, and one in Ellie's hair.

"Good," Ellie muttered with half of her mouth while she attacked your inner thigh with her lips, sucking and nibbling as she quickened the pace of her thumb on your clit. Ellie took every chance she got to mark you up, to remind you and anyone else who got to see those parts of you, that you were claimed.

Catching you off guard, Ellie shoved her tongue back inside of you, lapping at your juices like it was her first time. She wanted all of it, she earned it. Your moans grew much louder than before, desperate for that climax you had been waiting to reach.

"E-Ellie! Fuck," you cried as you laid back down on the table, unable to continue holding yourself up to watch Ellie work her magic. Your orgasm was creeping closer by the second, jumping ahead every time Ellie would give attention to your bundle of nerves.

The moment your legs began to tremble was when Ellie knew you were teetering over the edge, needing that one last push. The grip of Ellie's right hand released from your thigh before you felt two of her fingers teasing your entrance, sinking into your wet folds once again.

Ellie could hair a faint gush every time she pushed her fingers into you, leading her to occasionally moan against your clit. The combination of her tongue and her fingers was overwhelming. You were practically gasping for air, arching your back against the solid wood table. You had no time to warn Ellie before the knot in your stomach unraveled, your orgasm crashing into you.

Even though she couldn't see your face, Ellie could tell you reached your peak due to your staggered moans and how your thighs tightened around her face. Ellie didn't back down, continuing to suck on your clit to overstimulate you as you came down from your high, refusing to be wasteful.

"Oh my-- Ellie!" you cried between moans, trying to use the grip you had on her hair to pull her face away, the overstimulation ready to send you into another high. Despite the sensitivity, you knew you could keep going, but Ellie wasn't even allowing you to take a breath.

As much as Ellie would've wanted to keep going, you were driving her crazy and she was craving her own release.

Ellie's lips gently released from your sensitive bud for the last time before standing, using your thighs as leverage before she peered over you, seeing your flushed cheeks and rosy red lips.

"You made quite the mess," Ellie smirked, noticing the glistening drops of saliva and your fluids on the hardwood floor beneath you, just over the edge of the table. "Get up."

You continued to catch your breath as you sat yourself up, your eyes gliding up to hers. Ellie was also slightly out of breath, her chest heaving as she stared at you in hunger. Feeling you, tasting you, hearing you... it wasn't enough, she needed more.

You waited for Ellie to say something, but you were surprised when Ellie took your hand and started walking you away from the living areas, toward your bedroom. You followed closely behind to avoid tripping, knowing that Ellie only has one goal in mind.

You knew it was going to be a long night.

a/n: i hope you enjoyed my first smut on this account :) pls feel free to send requests and share some love!! ೃ⁀➷

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badgerbl00d · 1 year

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one piece boys confessing their feelings

☆ characters: zoro, mihawk

☆ up next: what are we? (law x reader)

☆ a/n: my two favorite swordsmen.. i didn't realize how much i missed writing for zoro so definitely expect more marimo content in upcoming posts. enjoy lovelies!

zoro

“Let’s go fishing, Usopp,” Luffy laughed, “Oi! Zoro! Wanna fish with us? I heard there’s Sea Kings in these waters!”

Zoro waved a hand in Luffy’s direction to dissent, though he wasn’t really paying attention to anything happening around him.

A third bottle of beer found its way into the hands of the scarred swordsman, and was happily chugged within seconds.

His head was buzzing, though not from alcohol.

He was nervous.

He wiped his sweaty palms against his shirt for the umpteenth time that night, trying to work up a sense of courage.

To his satisfaction, no one else had seemed to notice his behavior,

You were flipping through a magazine with Nami, suntanning in the tiniest bikini he’d ever seen.

He couldn’t think straight when you were around and he really needed to- now more than ever.

For weeks now he’d been trying to think of how to admit his feelings to you- a harder feat for him than most.

To completely let down every wall he’d spent years and years building up for even just a moment or two of vulnerability.

He’d come close to telling you several times already, and he was pretty sure he might have let something slip before when he was drunk, leading to more than one awkward morning after. He’d avoid you, beat himself up over it, get drunk again that night to forget anything ever happened, and repeat the night before.

It was a disaster.

“You know,” Sanji had said one particularly awkward morning after- more to himself than Zoro, “You’d have a better shot if you didn’t ignore her completely the morning after a horrendously drunk and half-assed confession.”

Zoro had ignored him and stormed out to cut something in half but his advice- if you could call it that- stuck with him.

So here he was now, looking for a quiet place so he could rehearse what he was going to say.

What did he want to say? He paced back and forth, muttering lines he’d written down from movies or famous love quotes.

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more,” he’d tried, turning towards a mirror to see how he looked.

Absolutely not. You’d definitely read that book.

“You have bewitched me body and soul- No. No way, I’m not saying that.”

He crushed the piece of paper in his fist and opted to take a nap and have a drink, failproof support systems that had yet to fail him.

“I don’t know, Nami,” you said, “I mean he’s been drunk every single time and it’s starting to really piss me off.

It’s like… every time I’m stupid enough to believe it! Even though I know he’s drunk he gets so sincere for a moment or two and says stuff like ‘You're really beautiful you know that?’ or ‘I feel… a connection with you’. And I’m dumb enough to believe it every damn time.”

“And then he ignores you the next day and pretends nothing happened.”

“Yeah. It’s so weird though, ‘cause I swear- it’s like he gets possessed by rationality and calm in the midst of being a drunken idiot and he says these things with such intent! It’s jarring. I mean he goes from a moron to a Jane Austen romantic hero. What the hell is that?”

“I mean, no offense,” Nami started, your stomach churned with dread before she could even continue, “But maybe he’s just.. you know, trying to hook up. Drop some half assed compliments and hope that’s enough to get him laid.”

An uncomfortable feeling of sadness swallowed you whole. You sighed, taking a sip of your drink.

“I know. I don’t think he’s lying about the attraction, but it would save me a lot of grief if he was just straightforward. That way I could just hook up with him and get it over with.”

Nami laughed, “Gross! You know he showers like once a week right?”

“I can fix him,” you said, laughing with her.

The boys had caught a mountain of fish and sea creatures, so Sanji had promised you all a feast.

Brook had started playing before the sun had set and Robin and Franky were dancing.

You played some beer pong with Luffy and Usopp, while Nami helped Sanji in the kitchen.

You loved nights like these, but as much as you wanted to enjoy yourself you knew that with parties and fun came booze.

And with booze came a certain drunken swordsman promising you sweet nothings.

You tried to focus on the game but were getting badly beat.

You walked into the kitchen to sit with Nami who was sipping on a piña colada, special treatment from Sanji, of course.

“Make me one too Sanji-kun! Please,” you asked.

He gladly obliged.

The three of you talked and laughed while Sanji cooked, enjoying the music and sight of the younger boys playing with Chopper.

The kitchen door swung open and in walked Zoro, who had been very clearly napping. His hair was matted in some places and his eyes still carried the sag of someone who’d been involuntarily woken up from a nap.

“Smelled food,” he said, rubbing his eyes.

You finished your drink and got up out of your seat.

“Leaving, Y/n?” Sanji asked.

Zoro turned to look at you, like he was about to say something.

“Uh, yeah, I’m gonna go read for a bit. Thank you for the food!”

Nami shot you a sympathetic look and waved bye to you.

Zoro sighed, not totally oblivious to the timing of his entrance and your departure.

Sanji and Nami glared at him.

He rolled his eyes at them, “I’ll fix it.”

And he walked out to join Luffy.

Amidst the general excitement that had spread itself throughout the crew over the course of the night was Zoro who was making his way toward the crow’s nest, in hopes of finding you.

You were tucked into a corner of the room, reading a book.

Your knees were up on the sofa and you seemed to be nearly asleep.

He felt somewhat guilty interrupting you.

But it was now or never.

He walked in, not saying anything.

You sat up, closing your book.

Your stomach was in a knot.

The swordsman sat next to you, close enough that his knee touched yours.

He was sitting up straighter than usual, and seemed restless, fidgeting with his hands until he finally set his left hand on top of your right one that was resting beside you.

Your eyes widened, you were surprised by this, but didn’t say anything.

“Y/n, can I tell you something? I’ve been meaning to for a while but I- Well, I’ve never done anything like this before so I fucked it up. More than once. So I’m going to fix it right now.”

You nodded hesitantly, caught somewhat off-guard by his unusual behavior.

“I love you.”

Your heart stopped.

Everything around you momentarily stopped as your brain tried to catch up to speed with everything that had just happened.

In an instant you were suddenly hyper-aware of everything- the strong pulse of your heartbeat, the sweat that had gathered on your palms, how you felt suspended in both motion and time as he sat waiting for some kind of response.

But you knew Zoro, and recognized that rosy glow on his cheeks. You knew that when he approached you after midnight with unusual confidence and gusto, on a night when you’d all been celebrating.

How he always sat next to you, closer and closer every time, this time placing his hand on top of yours.

You broke eye contact to look down at your hands.

“I love you, too,” you chose to interpret it as a friendly drunken slip-up, “Make sure you tell everyone else that you love them too, or they’ll get jealous.”

You turned back to your book, trying to ignore the ache in your chest, covering it up with an unconvincing smile.

“No.”

You turned, confused, “N-no?”

“I meant it.”

You didn’t say anything, just stared at him.

“I love you.”

The air around the two of you was completely stagnant, full of tension.

He’d done this before; gotten drunk, been suddenly affectionate and touchy, and then acted completely normal the next day, even ignoring you when you tried to talk to him about it.

You weren’t going to let it happen again.

Scoffing, you brushed him off, moving your hand out from under his.

“You’re drunk,” you said, trying to ignore the disappointment that had started to spread throughout your body, “Why don’t you get some water? Or bread? But don’t do this to me again.”

You got up and placed your book down, ready to make your way to your room and try and forget anything had happened, like he would.

A hand grabbed your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

Zoro stood up behind you and turned you around to face him.

“I’m not drunk,” he started, “Last thing I’d want to do is ruin this with some kind of idiotic drunken rant. I-I want to remember this- I want you to remember this!

Everything about this- how damn cold it is up here, what you’re wearing, what I say to you, how it ends, everything.”

His hands were squeezing your shoulders, and his stare was full of an intensity you couldn’t have reciprocated if you tried.

You’d seen him before in battle- swords drawn, back hunched, and eyes settled onto his victim like a hungry animal.

But this was different, it was vulnerable. He was being weak in front of you.

He took a deep breath.

You had never felt so focused in your life, your eyes were intently set on his and your brows furrowed in concentration as you took in everything about this moment.

“I love you! I love you and- and I don’t mean it the way we say it to each other in battle, or as crewmates.

I hate that! I hate calling you my crewmate, my friend, my companion.

You are!

You are, but I hate that that’s all I can call you.

So I came to you to tell you that I love you.

Entirely.”

He brought his hands down to interlace them with yours.

“I love you,” he said again, this time bending down slightly to level his eyesight with yours.

He looked at you with concern, lips slightly parted.

Your breath was shaky and you had unconsciously grabbed onto his forearms to stabilize yourself while you tried to process what was happening.

You stayed silent, your confusion as evident as his desperation.

Another few moments passed with no words exchanged, it felt like the whole world was holding its breath- waiting for you to say anything.

You took a deep breath and swallowed, your mind racing through the millions of different things you wanted to say.

How dare you? Are you serious? I love you too! I never want to talk to you again. I love you too! What happens now?

Zoro’s grip on your shoulders softened and his shoulders sunk. A look of disappointment settled itself onto his stoic features and he let go of you, in a kind of heartbroken acceptance.

He nodded, more to himself than you.

“Goodnight,” he said, walking back out.

“Zoro- Zoro, wait! Wait, please.”

He stopped and turned around- Were those tears in his eyes?

“I love you, too,” you said, in a much calmer tone than expected, “I have since I set foot on this ship, since I first saw you. I love you.”

His eyes widened and he picked you up in his arms, wrapping them around your waist as you sunk into his chest hugging him back with all the force you could muster.

He spun you around, pressing kisses to the top of your head.

You cried into his chest, and felt a tear or two fall onto your forehead when you looked up at him as he finally set you down.

“I thought that- I thought I’d fucked everything up and that-”

Zoro was rambling, his hands holding onto you again, with a grip that reassured you he didn’t want to let go.

You interrupted him by crashing your lips into his, sending him reeling backwards.

He landed on the floor, one arm breaking the fall and the other wrapped around you.

You straddled him and deepened the kiss bringing your hands to rest on his chest as he pulled you closer into his body.

The two of you kissed and kissed, pulling away only when you were desperate for breath, before resuming again.

When you were finally tired enough, you simply sat smiling like idiots at each other.

“I should’ve been honest with you months ago,” Zoro said, bringing a hand up to your face, his thumb gently brushing over your cheek.

You grabbed his forearm, leaning your cheek into his hold.

A smile spread out over your face.

“It’s okay, I knew.”

mihawk

He’d been dreading it for weeks- months, even.

Never in his life did he think that he’d find himself in a position of having to stay on Red Hair’s ship, but here he was. Sat at a table on the deck, an overflowing pint of beer in his hand, and Red Haired pirates laughing and swearing and drinking on all sides of him. And then out of nowhere, there was you.

They told him you’d been part of the crew for 5 months now, a rookie pirate in need of a ship and some stability and had found your way onto the Red Force after winning several games of poker against Shanks.

He’d had an eye on you from the moment you walked out onto the deck, in a pair of deliciously short shorts and a tank top that hugged your curves in the most alluring way he’d ever seen.

You poured yourself a pint and played a game of blackjack with members of the crew whose name’s he didn’t know, or care to know.

He sat with Shanks and the other officers in the crew.

“She’s somethin’, isn’t she?” Shanks asked, laughing as he took note of his friend’s interest in you, much to his evident annoyance.

“I suppose I just didn’t think a woman like that would be on a crew like yours, Red Hair.”

“Neither did we,” Benn chimed in, earning a playful nudge from his captain.

A sudden eruption of noise diverted their attention towards the betting table you were sitting at.

You were smiling, graciously accepting your winnings from your crewmates who were alleging cheating.

“There’s only four jacks in a deck!”

“I saw her hand moving!”

“She was card counting!”

Yasopp laughed and called you over, “Before they start swinging!”

You approached their table, weaving your way toward them through your drunk and rowdy crewmates, before taking a seat next to Mihawk, who was clearly uneasy with your presence.

What was he supposed to do? He felt a strange desire to make a good impression on you, and realized part of him was hoping to form a friendship. His stomach churned at the unusual feeling.

“Didn’t think I’d ever meet a legend like yourself,” you’d said to him, as you extended your hand, “Y/n, pleasure to meet you.

You’re a lot less scary in person! And a lot more handsome.”

You smelled like cherries and whiskey, sweet and addicting.

He took your hand, despite his embarrassment at your compliments and against his better judgment followed up with, “Likewise.”

Shanks whistled, and put his arm around the swordsman’s shoulders, “Never seen you flirt before!”

The table laughed and you asked Benn for a cigarette, bending over to let him light it for you.

“Calm down, Shanks,” you said as you puffed a small cloud of smoke, “No one’s flirting.”

He felt his chest tighten slightly, had you not been flirting? He wasn’t experienced but he figured that you had at least professed some kind of interest.

You turned to look at him and winked.

His chest tightened again.

Lucky had started another card game, and you played as you talked. Mihawk asked about your life before piracy- a story for another time, you’d told him. He talked about details of his life that were unknown even to Shanks- small things like his garden at home, his favorite things to cook, and even certain details of his warlord duties. It was unlike him to share anything with anyone, but the way you stared up at him batting your big doe eyes with a cigarette hanging lazily from your plump glossy lips… he found himself unable to resist the urge to keep you interested in his presence.

The noise of the ship eventually faded into the background, the talking and laughing melting into their own conversations.

Hours passed and eventually music started playing, some other new crew members that had brought their instruments on board with them.

“We finally have some good musicians, don’t we Y/n?” Shanks asked.

“Mhmm,” you replied, looking through your cards barely paying him any attention. You tapped your feet rhythmically against the floor, humming along to the quick paced flamenco melody that was playing.

“Do you dance, swordsman?” you asked, turning to look at Mihawk.

You heard Shanks groan in the background.

“Occasionally.”

You set your cards down, face up, revealing a winning hand. The rest of the table threw their cards down in frustration.

“Will you do me the honors?”

A rare smile settled onto his face. He offered his hand to help you up out of your chair, and you guided him to a more open area on the deck. He placed a hand on your waist, and you took a guilty pleasure in how unyielding his grip was against you. You could feel the pads of each of his fingers holding onto your soft skin, and trailed your hand up to his face, lightly tracing a finger down the side of his neck before resting your hand on his shoulder.

People whistled and clapped.

“Keep up,” you said.

“I’ll try.”

He appreciated your warning, you were like a different person when dancing. The cool, calculated demeanor you adopted when playing cards with your poker face perfected and your breathing steady and even, was completely washed over by a fiery intent to move.

He did struggle to keep up at first, you slipped through his hold like water, your feet moving and landing between and around him like a downpour of rain.

He managed to match your tempo- catch the tail end of your movements and proved a worthy partner, but he didn’t come close to matching your mastery of the art.

By the time the song was finished beads of sweat dripped down his neck, and his heart was pounding loud enough that he could barely hear the cheering coming from the other pirates.

He wanted to give you the credit of wearing someone of his caliber out, he could take on a hundred men and barely increase his heart rate.

This was different though- the beating in his chest, the excitement in his belly, the way his eyes clung to your figure as though attached with string. He couldn’t get enough of you, he inhaled smelling your perfume again.

Another smile settled onto his face, one of satisfaction.

Three week had passed and Mihawk was grabbing the last of his things- a photo of the two of you you’d forced him to take. It was of you pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Shanks lightly knocked on his door.

“Sure you don’t want to stay another week?” he asked, awkwardly standing by the door.

“That’s what you came to ask?”

Shanks rubbed the back of his neck, “No, it’s actually about Y/n.”

This caught his attention.

“What about her?”

“Well,” Shanks walked over to sit on the bed, “I think you should talk to her before you leave, tell her how ya feel.”

“How I… feel? And how exactly do you think I feel?”

“C’mon man, it’s obvious- No offense. The way you two look at each other? You danced with her. In front of people.”

The swordsman scoffed, but didn’t disagree and chose to maintain his silence as he packed the rest of his clothes.

“She likes ya, Hawk-eye. I think you knew that though.

Don’t say anything if you’re gonna hurt her.”

He got up and gave him a friendly pat on the back before heading back out, “We’re headed to a bar right now, so you’ll have the ship to yourself. Take care of her!”

It was unclear whether he was talking about the ship or you.

Mihawk sighed, he adjusted the collar of his loosely fitting white shirt, and set out to find you.

You were in one of the common areas, one of the musicians was showing you how to play the guitar. Plucking at a few strings here and there, you laughed and sang, trying to play a song with your clearly limited ability.

Mihawk stood and watched you for a moment, before clearing his throat.

You turned, smiling when you saw him.

“What do you think? Good enough to dance to?”

He let out a light laugh, “Maybe in ten years.”

You smiled, plucking a few more strings before asking, “What brings you here? Shouldn’t you be packing?”

“I was hoping to speak with you for a moment,” he paused when you stayed put, “Alone.”

Your eyes widened, “Oh! Of course!”

You handed the guitar back to its owner, ignoring the whistles that followed you out of the room.

You took Mihawk’s arm and walked toward the deck, your stomach turning.

You stopped at the railing, leaning over it, trying to take deep breaths of the salty air to calm yourself.

What on Earth could he have to talk to you about? Shanks had promised not to say anything… Could he possibly-

“I’m… very appreciative of your company these past few weeks.

You’re a very intelligent, talented, beautiful woman, and I cannot think of a better companion with whom to have spent my time,” he started, interrupting your train of thought.

You softly smiled, a light breeze dancing around you both.

You said nothing and only looked up at him, unsure of how to pick up from where he left off.

Luckily, he continued, “You… You are a good friend. Of mine, I mean. And I hope that my departure from this ship won’t change our proximity.”

Friend. A dull, warm pain ebbed in your chest.

It wasn’t sharp like a direct rejection would have been, it felt more like a heavy rock had been gently placed right on your heart.

You nodded, looking out toward the ocean when you felt some tears well up in your lash line.

Blinking them away you turned back toward him suddenly emboldened by the memory of how he held you that night when you danced.

“I hope this isn’t too forward, but can I ask if you hold me in any higher regard than that of a friend?”

He was silent. Color rushed to his cheeks and he stared down at you. His eyes were undersold in legend. To say they were hypnotizing was a disservice. They were compelling- when you made eye contact with him your entire being longed to be with him.

“I do.”

You exhaled, tension lifting itself from your shoulders.

“I like you, swordsman,” you gently wrapped your hands around his, bringing his hand up to your chest, placing it against the left side, “I’ll miss dancing with you. Please visit. Please don’t forget me.”

In a sudden motion, Mihawk wrapped you into his chest, his strong arms wrapping around your shoulders as he pressed you into him.

You wiggled your arms free and quickly reciprocated the hug.

You breathed in a long, long inhale, and as you exhaled sunk even further into him.

“I’ll visit,” he promised, “I’ll write. I’ll call- I’ll think of you always. You’re quite unforgettable, you know?”

You laughed and looked up to him as his hold on you softened.

You inched yourself up onto the tips of your toes, hovering your lips just slightly over his.

A smile creeped onto his face, and his hands dispersed across your body, one grabbing onto your ass- something he’d longed to do since the first moment he saw you. The other hand wrapped around your waist to provide you support.

You brought your hands to the collar of his shirt, gently tugging him toward you.

His lips closed around yours, and you deepened the kiss- pulling him closer into you, your tongues swiping at each other as you closed your eyes and indulged.

You inhaled each other- the taste of wine and mint flooding your mouth, the smell of his cologne overwhelming your senses.

The strong grip he had on your ass was so deliciously indulgent.

You let out a soft moan into his mouth before you pulled away from one another.

He tucked some stray hair behind your ears, and you gently wiped some of your gloss from his bottom lip.

“I’ve been waiting for that for weeks now.”

He picked you up, making his way toward your room, peppering your face and neck with kisses and you laughed and kissed him back.

“Let me make it up to you, hermosa.”

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twilightprince101 · 9 months

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Let's be careful before labeling Wally or Home as "The Villain" of Welcome Home

Or anyone for that matter imo

Listen, I can completely understand why people would go to that conclusion. "So Below" and the eerie vibe that Wally gives off in his obsession don't exactly give either a flattering light (I know there are also the art pieces on Clown's personal blog, but I'm not counting anything that hasn't been officially released yet)

But whenever someone labels a character who is acting weird as "the villain," it puts a bad taste in my mouth. At the end of the day, characters in fiction are real people with motivations, so labeling one as "evil" or "the villain" can sometimes erase that complexity. And after the most recent update, we know that Wally has A Lot of very, very complicated feelings about the situation.

Before I get into that though, I wanna point out something that Clown himself has said describes the brand of horror that "Welcome Home" gives off to themselves personally. Click here for the link to the post.

"My home doesn't feel like home anymore."

That line sticks to me pretty hard. There's a pervasive feeling of unfamiliarity, unreality, that exists in the core of the story itself.

I think we see, firsthand, Wally experiencing this in the latest updates. In all of the hidden Bug/Answer secret videos, we see a familiar pattern. We get some sort of scene of two other characters talking, a scene in whatever universe they call home, until at the very end one of the characters addresses Wally (who was apparently there the whole time) and the video glitches out.

A key part that not a lot of people seem to realize though is that these videos are from Wally's perspective. See the above picture with Wally's hands. In every scene, Wally is present and was supposedly taking part in an activity (in the above one, helping Poppy with knitting), before the video started playing.

Whenever I saw these videos I had that same feeling that something felt. Different. The interactions felt like scenes you would see in the animated/cartoony aesthetic we'd see from the various art pieces, it doesn't feel like it's "on set/TV" to me. They're moreso just intimate glimpses into their lives. But they're shot in the real world, and that feels. Wrong.

This is very likely the same feeling that Wally's having in that moment. "My home doesn't FEEL like home." It's like he's disassociating, having a brief episode of that unreality feeling. Those bouts of strangeness don't go away until, like clockwork, someone says his name and the video ends, snapping him out of it.

Do other people in the neighborhood also feel the same way? Maybe, but we don't know. What we do know is that Wally, whether or not he tries to explain this to others, feels isolated by this sensation. "My neighbors are only neighborly until they know I'm different in a way they can see."

The only other person he likely shares this feeling with? I'd take a guess that it's Home. Nearly every time Home has been featured, Wally has been there, close. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the only physical puppets/props we’ve seen of the cast are Wally and Home.

According to this post by @eldritchravens, Home is the only other person who talks directly to Us, the viewers. That's probably why they're so close, because they're the only ones who can truly confide in each other about this.

"So does that mean Home is manipulating Wally?"

Again, I really don't think that's the case. I don't wanna call people villains quite yet. Besides, we see (or well, hear) Home and Barnaby have a conversation together, and from how Barnaby reacts it's fairly casual.

This shared feeling is likely why Wally is so obsessed with us, including the Restoration Employee. They seem to be sharing a similar sensation to Wally's bouts of unreality, in the fact that it seems they're the ONLY one who doesn't remember Welcome Home being a thing. They seem to be one of the few things that Wally (and maybe even Home) consider to be "Real." Hence their obsession with "seeing" us.

"Isn't this Wally or Home manipulating the Employee though?"

Maybe, I don't know. We don't really know much of what's going on right now, we're only getting glimpses. For all we know this could be a side-effect of Wally/Home trying to reach out. For the time being though, I want to keep my own expectations in check. I'm choosing not to label Wally, Home, The Restoration Team or anyone as a "villain" until something definitive comes up.

It is very, very likely that Wally is going to be doing something more dangerous later down the line (or maybe even is doing so now). But if he's doing anything, I get the feeling it's more out of desperation. He wants something to quell this feeling inside of him, this pervasive sense of unreality, and to connect with something he feels is "real." And, for better or for worse, that thing is us.

This whole thing isn't to bash on people for speculation or theorycrafting, I personally think speculation is very healthy! But it's still important to remember what the core of this story is going to be. We're only seeing the very start of the story right now, and we don't know what'll happen down the line. It's useful to keep that core idea at the center of our speculation so we can have reasonable expectations going forward.

As for me? This doesn't feel like a story with villains. I don't think he'll pull a Monika from DDLC and start gaining a kill count, but if something does happen to the rest of the cast, my money is that it'll happen completely by accident, and he'll regret it. Hard.

#scopophobia #welcome home #welcome home arg #welcome home wally #wally darling #barnaby b beagle #Restoration employee #welcome home restoration project #twi talks #doki doki literature club #ddlc #welcome home july update #eldritchravens #the playfellow exhibition #poppy welcome home #poppy partridge #partycoffin #welcome home clown

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acotar-taylorsversion · 2 months

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Thoughts and Takes As I Re-Read the ACOTAR Series

This is extremely long and I have been typing it for weeks now. These are just my thoughts and I am typing them as I go. If you read it, I hope you enjoy it and maybe we can agree on most things. I would really love to hear everyone else's thoughts, too! 🙂

I don't feel like people blame papa archeron nearly as much as they should. It should not have been any of the sisters' responsibility to do what Feyre did. And after reading Nesta's POV, I don't blame Nesta for being so cold and hateful towards her father.

Lucien annoyed me so much in ACOTAR so much so that it was hard to like him in ACOMAF but I really tried to like him and give him a chance when Sarah made him Elain's mate and I realized that he could have a big role in ACOWAR.

I believe Tamlin had his redemption arc in ACOWAR when he saved Feyre and Az when they were rescuing Elain and then again when he saved Rhys. But I don't think Sarah will explore his story and she might be keeping him alive right now so that he can die at the right time.

After what Tamlin did to her and then allying with Hybern, I don't blame Feyre for ruining his court. He deserved it.

I don't think Ianthe suffered enough and I think that Nesta or Elain should have been the ones to have killed her.

Elain and Az were obvious to me in ACOMAF, just like Nesta and Cassian were and I was truly truly shocked when sarah made Lucien Elain's mate. I believe that there is so much more to that night than we know about and we'll learn about it when we get to Elain & Az's POVs. I believe that the bloodbane in Az's blood was killing him and nullified any bond that could have been there even before Elain was turned. Az was shot with the arrow before they went up to the throne room and that is why Lucien showed signs of mate behavior once Elain showed up. I believe the cauldron was wrong.

That being said, I tried to give Lucien a chance in ACOWAR and he just gave me the ick when talking about Elain. It didn't feel right to hear him say that he wanted to "see if she was worth it." Like she should already be worth it. Don't hesitate. I just did not see it at all.

I think that LoA will be the one to kill Beron. Don't know why, but I just feel that she will lose it and run to Helion.

Sarah had every opportunity to set Elucien up and she didn't. I believe she set them up for failure from the get-go. She instead focused on Elain and Az. I could do an entirely separate post about Elain, Lucien, and Az.

I believe Mor and Eris are mates, especially after what was said in ACOSF. I believe that he knows that she prefers females and wanted to save her from a loveless, unsatisfying marriage. I do think that he handled it wrong. Like that whole situation could have been handled so much better.

I think the whole Mor, Az, and Cassian situation was extremely weird. And now that Cassian is with Nesta and Az could possibly be with Elain, maybe Mor can finally move on and be free and not hide anything anymore. I wish that Mor would have talked to Nesta in ACOSF and explained and apologized for everything. Maybe she'll sit both the sisters down and talk about it one day.

I think Amren and Varian are cute together, but I think Amren should have stayed dead. Sarah is notorious for killing and then unkilling her characters and I think that gets old. I believe that sarah brought her back as a way to keep the summer court involved with the night court and to have a "know it all" character.

I think that Feyre and Rhys have a true, soul mate, true love, fairytale mating bond and I think Nesta and Cassian have a more realistic one. Feyre and Rhys fell in love before the bond was accepted and Nesta and Cassian were just beginning to fall in love before the bond was accepted. Lust and attraction and the pull of the bond is what truly brought them together but they quickly fell in love with each other.

I hate all the hate that Nessian is getting. People who say that Nesta should get with Eris literally make me sick and I want to throw ACOSF at them. They obviously need a to read it again. People need to realize that Nesta was in the wrong in HOFAS and Rhys had every right to freak out like he did and Nesta needed to be yelled at for that. I don't blame Cassian for not stepping in. And people forget how sarcastic Nesta is and they actually take her seriously when she said that Rhys debated executing her. Like do yall really think Cassian and Feyre would allow that or that Rhys would do that to his brother and his mate?? Like come on now.

Speaking of Rhys, I don't think he was wrong for keeping the danger of feyre's pregnancy from her. As a mother of 3 myself, I would be terrified every single day if I knew that my pregnancy could end with the death of myself and/or my baby. Like I would not want to know. Pregnancy is stressful enough as it is, even with healthy ones. And this is why I don't think he was wrong for freaking out on Nesta. I mean, he almost lost his mate, his son, and his life like what, 6 months before that? Like I can't imagine how scared Rhys is every day knowing that he almost lost everything and then Nesta gave a STRANGER a MADE OBJECT from the trove and could have LOST IT to the ASTERI who could have come to their world and DESTROYED them all. GIVE RHYS A BREAK YOU GUYS!!!!! I love Nesta, love her to death, but she was wrong for that.

I have my thoughts on Gwyn. I think she's a lightsinger. I think that is what Az's shadows react to, just like Nesta reacts to her. I don't think her and Az are mates. I don't think she's attracted to Az at all. I think she wants to prove herself to him because he did see her on the most traumatic night of her life. I think she wants to prove to him and everyone around her that she is and can be strong. That's it. There is nothing more to her and Az other than trainer and trainee. I also think that Merrill is the one manipulating everything and everyone, including Gwyn who might not know that she's a lightsinger. I think Merrill is working with Koschei.

Even after all the books, I still believe that Elriel will happen. There's just too many canon moments for me to ignore to see the possibility of Elucien. I only say elucien because gwynriel isn't a canon couple. They are not canon at all. The only thing that elucien has going for them is their bond.

I think Lucien will reject the bond for Elain. Lucien isn't a bad guy. I don't think he'll fight for Elain when he knows that she does not want him or their bond. He won't let Elain become his mother. I think he will find happiness with Vassa and they will be like Elide and Lorcan.

I believe people who support elucien only care about Lucien. I mean, how could you think that Elain wants to be with him after reading the books?

Based on the story of Koschei, it's not crazy to assume it will be 3 sisters and 3 brothers. Sarah is a very predictable writer and this is what most of the fandom has expected since ACOMAF and Koschei being the last big bad confirms that. Especially when you add in Vassa and Lucien into the mix. Just read the story of Koschei and tell me I'm wrong.

I believe that Az is experiencing the effects of a mating bond with Elain. He acts more like her mate than Lucien does and there's canon proof of this.

I believe the only reason Rhys stopped Az and Elain that night was because 1. he was convinced he would die with Feyre when she gave birth and didn't want his court to be in this war with the autumn court and 2. he is a political figure and he is using elain's bond as leverage with lucien. I believe that if Elain expresses to him how she wants to reject the bond, he would support it and accept Elain and Az.

I hate how everyone focuses on Gwyn and forgets about Emerie. I don't understand why people think Gwyn would be involved with the Illyrians. She is not Ilyrian and even though she finished the blood rite, she has said she does not want that illyrian warrior title. After what she went through during the rite, I don't see her being involved with them in any way. I do believe we will hear about Emerie doing something more like that. She could be an inspiration to Ilyrian females. Speaking of the Valkyries, I don't think they should have won the blood rite. It was very unbelievable. It would have been more believable if they had hid the entire time and waited for Cassian to come find them when the week was over.

Speaking Gwyn again, I think most of her fans overhype her too much. I like Gwyn and I'm glad that Nesta has her as a friend because she needed that. But I don't think we'll ever get her POV. I mean, we heard her story. We know what happened to her and we know pretty much everything about her. We know that she doesn't want that warrior title and she went back to the library not even sure about going to Nesta's mating ceremony. I think her fans forget this. I think they see her as a self insert character. I think they over sexualize her way too much. I'm not saying that SA survivors can't have a sex life so don't come at me. I just don't think she's going to want to be tied up with ribbons while Az holds her down and "ravages" her. The same male who seen what she went through that night. That just makes me uncomfortable. I think Gwyn would be embarrassed by the majority of her fans.

I will another post about that bonus chapter because there is so much to discuss.

I hate the amount of hate Elain gets and the side of the fandom that hates her does not deserve her. There is so much to learn about her and her powers and what goes on in her mind and I can't wait for her book.

I also think that papa archeron unknowingly traded Elain and/or Feyre and Nesta in his deal with Koschei for Vassa's temporary release.

I don't understand how people could hate feysand or any other members of the inner circle. In my opinion, if you hate them then why are you reading the series?? Why are you still here?

I don't think that sarah will make Nesta or Elain an actual queen or high lady. I think that Rhys and Feyre will always be more powerful than them and I think they will be High King and High Queen when the series is over. I can't see sarah making the sisters having the same amount of power or say as much as Feyre. She has always been above them. That has been obvious since the beginning because she's always protected them and taken care of them.

If you guys remember my other posts, then you will know my thoughts on how I think the rest of the series will go. Like elriel, vassien, koschei, the queens, the prison, the dusk court, the trove, all that. Elain and Nesta are the keys and Vassa should be the one to destroy Koschei. Rhys and Feyre will be High King and High Queen with nessian and elriel at their sides and everyone lives happily ever after.

What do you guys think?

#acotar #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian #elain archeron #elriel #pro elriel #azriel shadowsinger #feysand #archeron sisters #rhysand #feyre archeron #gwyneth berdara #lucien vanserra #vassa acotar

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outro-jo · 1 year

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i don’t have a title for this

pairing: bang chan (chris) x best friend!reader (gender neutral)

type: one shot

summary: some news about your best friend has you out all night but of course he’s the one that’s gonna come to your rescue

warnings: none tbh, not rly edited, mentions of drinking and nudity

a/n: please use my ask box to request anything else you’d want me to write!

masterlist | info

—————————

you don’t quite know how you got here or where here is, exactly. it started with a couple of shots with some friends at a bar in gangnam. that bar became another bar, then another, and then a club until your feet were almost bloodied from the walking and dancing—thanks to all the alcohol, you couldn’t feel a thing. now you were stumbling through the streets, wandering aimlessly. your best friends who had drug you out tonight had each found someone else to go home with and you walked alone. not by choice, certainly. well, at least not your choice.

the reason you’d actually gone out was because your best friend started dating someone, or that’s what dispatch said. normally you don’t let things like silly gossip get to you but this wasn’t some idol you read about, it was your best friend.

your best friend who you used to bathe with as babies. the best friend who knows about the broken nose you got in grade 4 and why you got it. he knows about the mole in the weird place no one else has seen before. the best friend that begged you to move to Korea with him to go to uni. the best friend who knows ever dark secret you hide, has seen nearly every tear you shed… and the one who has your heart completely.

he has no idea.

your friends could see you immediately spiraling over the article and insisted you all go out tonight. after about the third drink you could start feeling your mind numb and you began to finally enjoy yourself. of course, you did lose count of drinks after about nine. so, here you are, stumbling through the streets.

your phone lit up: “best mate 💕”

“well, well, fancy meeting you here.” you slurred with a goofy grin plastered on your face.

“oh, naur, i’m too late.” Chris scolded himself. he had every intention of warning you about the article but it slipped his mind. “where are you?”

“umm.” you stopped and looked up at the street sign before reading it off. “next to that boba place we like.”

“ok, yeah, i know the one. stay right there! don’t move!” you could hear clattering in the background of him gathering his things.

“aye, aye, sailor!” you saluted the light post and sighed before taking a seat on the ground.

it was only a minute that you had closed your eyes before you felt a hand rest on your shoulder.

“Darling? Babe, c’mon. let’s go.” Chris’s soft voice awakened you only for a minute as he scooped you up and carried you to the car.

the street lights flashed above your head as chris made his way back to your apartment but all you saw was black with your eyes closed. white noise began fading in and you were pretty much out for the count with chris not only getting to your apartment but carrying you inside. it wasn’t until your back was rested on your mattress that you looked up and realized who was with you.

“Chris! you came!” you exclaimed softly.

he looked down at you adoringly, smoothing the hair back on your forehead, “you called.”

you laughed loudly. “I did not! you called me. loser!l

“yeah, yeah, i’m the loser.” he said to himself as he walked into the bathroom for a minute.

your eyes had closed again by the time he came back and you suddenly felt wet on your cheek as Chris took a make up wipe to your face. you felt him clean off your face before asking, “you alright if i change your clothes?”

“yes, mr. gentleman.” you sprawled your arms, “strip me!”

again Chris chuckled and removed your outfit. he tried extra hard not to stare at your mismatched lingerie for too long. a small smirk played at the corner of his lips remembering how you had told him once that if someone is matching lingerie/undergarments they’re planning on hooking up. he took comfort in knowing that your only intent of the evening was to blow off some steam.

he wished so badly that you were sober and could have an actual conversation of what’s happening. how it was all a lie spread by a sasaeng when they saw him and sana together.

that probably hurt you a lot too. seeing him with another long time friend he constantly told you he had no feelings for and it was everywhere that they were now together, but they weren’t.

instead of having that conversation, he pulled one of his old tour shirts out and carefully put it on you. he loved seeing you in his clothes, made him feel like you were his.

chris took a seat on the edge of the bed, brushing your hair off your face. he watched for a moment, the way your chest would rise and fall. you were so peaceful like this, so beautiful. his thumb rested on your cheek, rubbing it up and down. after a moment or two, chris went to stand up and leave but you caught his wrist.

“noooo,” you whined into your pillow. “please stay with me.” you raised your arm to welcome him in.

chris chuckled and relented. he clicked off the lamp and climbed in next to you. he assumed the position of the big spoon behind you, pulling you in close. this wasn’t unfamiliar to him. your body pressed against his, the smell of your shampoo and perfume lingering around you. it was so safe and comfortable.

he remembers the first time you saw him after he moved. it was after a particular conversation you had with him that involved him crying that he might not get to debut. at 13, you had convinced your elderly grandmother to use her credit card so you could fly (unaccompanied) from australia to south korea. thankfully chris’s parents were coming in a few days but the days you had with chris before they came were magical. he snuck you into the dorms and he held you like he is now.

“chris?” you voice broke the fading memory.

“yeah, love.”

even half asleep your heart cracked at the pet name. “why her? why didn’t you tell me?” you nearly cried. with your face still smushed against your pillow, Chris would have almost thought it was cute, if you weren’t so sad.

“baby, we’ll talk in the morning. I’m not dating her. please, just go to sleep.”

you turned to him, rubbing your face. “you’re not?”

he shook his head.

“well, now i can finally date you.” you didn’t even think. the words fell out of your mouth without a thought and disappeared. they didn’t faze you one bit as you rolled back over, snuggled into him and went back to sleep.

but Chris was as stiff as a board. he couldn’t move. he didn’t want to dare disrupt a universe in which you had just confessed your feelings to him. he was too scared the if he moved, he’d jinx it and go back to a world where you weren’t potentially his. you did say it though. the words echoed in his head and his heart raced.

finally he unfroze and leaned down to kiss your cheek. “yes, baby, you can finally date me.”

“oh, good!” you sighed. “i love you, Channie”

#straykids #skz #stray kids #stay kids reaction #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #bang chan #bang chris #bang chan fluff #bang chan smut #friends to lovers #childhood friends to lovers #best friends to lovers #confession #stray kids fanfic #bang chan fanfic

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rrxnjun · 1 year

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portrait of a blank slate. huang renjun

pairing: huang renjun x fem! reader genre: college au. fluff, smut, and the tiniest bit of angst. warnings: swearing, alcohol, angry man renjun, very bad dialogue, this is the most un-renjun fic i've ever written, dry humping, a heavy makeout session, unfinished blowjob word count: 5.8k playlist: no specific one this time but i listened to a lot of keshi while writing this, so have this playlist of mine to fit the vibes a/n: inspired by that one tweet describing how someone's art professor met his wife the same exact way, lost the screenshot and also the og post im so sorry!

turns out all it takes to save a life is a bad, bad college party, a few shots and a weird, magical coincidence back in a girl's dorm room.

It’s hard to believe that Huang Renjun is currently finishing up the art portfolio he needs for his summer internship program after procrastinating and angrily stomping at every single bad stroke of his paintbrush for the last few months.

Because he’s not.

He’s looking at the canvas with stern eyes, the smudges on the white linen so messy he could cry just by looking at them, and the more he tries to save the disgrace currently scribbled in front of him, the worse it gets and makes the levels of frustration in him turn into rage and fury, because let’s be honest– what is Renjun’s primary emotion if not anger.

And he tries hard to fix it again, he really does– he sighs heavily while doing so as he takes a smaller brush and tries to paint on a few hairstrokes to the portrait of Frida Kahlo he wants to execute– and in honest reality, it doesn’t even look half as bad as it does in the poor boy’s eyes when he takes a step back after holding in his breath and carefully piercing together the artwork. Maybe if there was someone else in the room– everyone but his annoying roommate Donghyuck, because that fucker always manages to make things even worse– they could talk him out of it, offer some words of consolidation, even, hype him up and tell him that with outsider’s eyes, the canvas looks beautiful and very well put together. But the truth is that there’s no one present right now, not a single soul in what feels like the whole campus right now, that could ease Huang Renjun’s frustration from what seems to be art block, when he throws the paintbrush to the wall (he’ll worry about the stain of acrylic paint later, when he gains consciousness) and puts a fist through the middle of the painting.

If he was a character in a comic book, his hand would go through the canvas and create a quite satisfying hole. He’s a real person, though– a weak one as well, to be quite honest– and his fist is stopped by the stretched-out fabric, making his hand bounce back, but now stained with all shades of brown and tan, which somehow only makes him even more mad and turns him into a furious animal roaming around free and causing uttermost chaos in his all true sense.

Nothing can stop Huang Renjun when he opens the drawer he keeps all his artwork in, taking out all the graphite sketches and colored pencil drawings, and then the next one containing the watercolor paintings and various other acrylic paintings done on expensive sheets of paper, stacking all of those onto one pile in the middle of the table. Not one thing is safe– except from the digital artworks he keeps in his iPad and his big A4 sketchbook he forgot about in the heat of the moment, since he keeps it on his nightstand– when he takes the big, heavy stack of art and runs, chimes towards the entrance of his and Donghyuck’s miniature dorm room, luck only standing by his side once in this whole evening when his said roommate opens the door and clears the way for him, looking at the poor boy with mouth agape in a slight shock.

“What the fuck are you doing right n–”

Donghyuck doesn’t get an answer. When he asks stupid questions, Renjun doesn’t tend to pay him much mind, settling on not engaging with the discourse if it doesn’t make much sense, so Hyuck should be used to the ignorance– he thinks this was a very valid question to ask at this moment, though. If he was curious enough, he’d even follow his roommate down the hall and watch him in his endeavors only to find out what’s the intention behind his angry stomping and the fierce look on his face. The truth is, though, he doesn’t care all that much.

That doesn’t stop Huang Renjun, though, as he chimes down the hall of the boy’s dormitory, kicks the glass door open (thankfully not the actual glass part, because that would for sure be expensive) and practically runs the rest of the way towards the bins at the end of the street, dumping the papers into the bin (forgive him for not recycling in his current state of mind) before he angrily kicks the poor object twice for good measure and turns on his heel, slowly, but still as angrily making his way back to his dorm room by stomping all the way up until the entrance.

The dorm guard doesn’t even ask for his dorm ID like he usually does– Renjun must have been quite memorable as he ran out of the building with 5kg of artwork of various sizes in his arms– but the truth is, the man isn’t as old and he saw the boy going out just a few minutes ago, so he doesn’t think it’s necessary. Renjun would appreciate the memo, although, when he remembers that the man always asks for the dorm ID, especially on the nights out when he comes back slightly intoxicated and too disoriented to look for the little slip of paper in his pockets, and on the nights when he forgets his dorm ID as well– the man was set on letting him sleep on the front porch of the dormitory once and it took Renjun 15 calls to get ahold of a sleeping Donghyuck and another 15 of him walking down the hall in slippers and pajama bottoms with his roommate’s dorm ID in hand before he could warm his bones from the cold slowly seeping into his bones on the January night– and that whole thing makes Renjun somehow even more angry at the whole situation.

And so when he comes into his room again, Donghyuck now sitting on his bed still in his outside clothes (something Renjun hates and would murder for), and his eyes land on the damaged canvas still waiting for him in the corner of the room, he wastes no time in opening his window and throwing it down from the second floor, not really caring where it ends up or if he’s gonna get a fine for violating one of the dormitory rules– to never throw stuff out of the windows..

“Dude, what is–”

“Don’t ask.” Renjun huffs as he closes the door and peels his clothes off, taking a towel that’s still hanging from the top bunk of their bed and aims towards the bathroom door. A true tantrum can only end in a cold shower, and that’s what Renjun’s gonna do as he washes his dreams down the drain and ends up silently crying himself to sleep tonight in agony.

It’s hard to believe Huang Renjun is currently at the best college party since the days of ‘megaparties’ of Johnny Suh, the senior that’s slowly halting his party performance due to stilling in life. Renjun was dragged to Lee Jeno’s party by his roommate Donghyuck after he mourned in his bed for approximately two days before it got too much for the poor gemini, promising and honestly thinking that alcohol is truly the best solution for the poor boy’s misery. Again, it’s hard to believe Huang Renjun is currently at the best college party of the year when he listens to the loud EDM music piercing through his eardrums and he swears he catches a glimpse of a couple dry humping on the couch.

Because he’s not.

He’s at a college party, sure. He’s also getting some alcohol into his system– because why not, am I right? He’s not the one paying, and that’s always enough of a reason to drink. Is it the best college party he’s ever experienced, though? Absolutely not.

It’s quite literally the worst party he’s ever been to. The music is too loud and the whole house smells of cheap vodka, people are pushing each other around and with the amount of alcohol in his system, the whole room feels like he’s on a boat, his stomach weak and his eyes hazy. Renjun must admit Hyuck’s therapy skills are kind of paying off– because at least now he’s not thinking about the wasted opportunity of a summer scholarship and is instead looking into the eyes of his cute classmate from History class across the room– but at the same time, he’s not thinking much of anything in this moment, and the glint of your eyes is the only thing he can focus on when you get closer.

That might be a good or a bad thing– depends on how the encounter goes. There’s a fine line between the amount of alcohol that’s just perfect for Huang Renjun to get rid of his usual shyness and speak to other, much more attractive human species, and the amount of alcohol that’s just perfect for Huang Renjun to black out and puke on the floor, efficiently making it impossible for him to chat up the cute classmate he’s been eyeing the whole semester and ruining his chances of ever being seen in a good light in front of the said person ever again. He prays intensely that he hasn’t crossed the line yet when you open your mouth and speak to him in the crowded kitchen.

“Renjun!”

“Y/N!” he tries to mimic your tone, a flashy grin settling onto his face when you approach him first. You two aren’t strangers, after all– you’ve sat together in class during various exams and also accidentally bumped into each other in the cafeteria, but what were your courageous attempts in making conversation with him and efficiently trying to make him more interested in you didn’t lead to your desired goal of getting invited out by him, instead leading him to think you’re just that friendly to everyone and not just him, making the chances of him taking the next step that much slimmer. Not tonight, though– he really must have had too much to drink.

“How are you?” you ask, clearing your throat as you bump into someone and decide to shift closer to Renjun, making the boy’s breathing hitch in his throat.

“Wonderful,” he gasps, and for some reason, the response laced in irony makes an excited laugh escape your throat, and the more he listens to your bubbly giggle, the more he wishes he did music instead of fine arts, because maybe if he was competent enough, he could mimic the sound in one of his songs and replay it over and over even when you’re not around.

“That sounds very genuine,” you note, which makes the boy laugh in return, making him wonder if maybe he could have the same effect on you– if you’re smiling wider now because of the sound of his laughter, or if you’re just amused at something completely else.

It’s pathetic, really– the gloomy boy that was trailing to this party behind his roommate Donghyuck is nowhere to be seen now, instead replaced by the cheap imitation of a ray of sunshine that you brought out of him only with the magic of a few words and the few drops of alcohol on his tongue.

“Oh, trust me, it was genuine,” he teases, and you only nod to his attempt at masking his obviously saddened composure from before.

“Having a rough week?” you ask, and you sound truly interested– something Renjun hasn’t found in the tone of his roommate when he insisted on dragging him here– and maybe that’s the reason why he just shrugs and decides to come clean and be honest with you. You seem like that kind of person that wouldn’t make fun of his troubles, the kind of person that would genuinely want to help– although he’s not seeking counseling tonight, he figures he can talk a bit about his shitty mood if it means that it gets the conversation flowing.

“A rough life, actually,” he snickers before he sees you eye him with a concerned look, “just joking,” he adds before he retracks back and fixes his initial answer. “Some things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to, so I’m kind of moping around for a bit.”

You seem to feel empathetic towards the boy, nodding and pouting at his confession. “Well, I hope things get fixed for you, Jun,” you mumble, tone of voice encouraging– and maybe he could dwell at the caring nature of you a little longer, only if it wasn’t for your use of a nickname for him that just oh so sweetly rolls of your tongue and Renjun wishes he could legally change his name to the nickname so he could listen to the way it sounds forever– scratch that, to the way it sounds from your mouth forever, which means he won’t change it, just so it’s reserved for you and only you to say.

“What about you, though?” he finds himself asking in the midst of his inner screeching.

“Me? I’m great, totally fine, having the time of my life,” you emphasize, the over-the-top expression on your face making the boy burst into laughter as you wave your arms around as if to show him your surroundings. “I am a party person for sure, you know, so this is perfect,” you joke, and Renjun seems to get the memo. If he’s being honest, he’s not sure he’s ever seen you at a party before– not that he goes to many himself, which might honestly be the reason, actually– you could just be at different parties in different times that hadn’t overlaid, but by the way you’re currently tensely sipping at the alcohol in your hand, he figures you’re not too familiar with the scene of college partying.

“Who forced you to go? Was it your roommate?” Renjun remembers the girl from another one of his classes– you two were always walking around together and often got to class at the same time. Figuring out that you two lived together wasn’t as difficult, and she surely seems to be the more extroverted one.

“No, actually,” you say, eyes glimmering when he seems to remember the girl you share a room with, “to my surprise, honestly. It was another one of my friends– Na Jaemin, not sure if you know him– but the moment we got here, he disappeared and left me alone to deal with my thoughts,” you click your tongue and Renjun finds himself totally mesmerized with you– amazed with everything about you; the way you talk, the way you lean on the counter and watch him with stars in your eyes (which might just be the reflections of the kitchen lights, but don’t tell him that), the way you slightly lean into him when he cracks a joke and earns a laugh out of you…

“They always do that,” Renjun scowls, “they drag the introvert in and then force them to survive on their own…” he shakes his head in disappointment, clearly distraught over the situation.

“Exactly! But if you ask them to come with you to a picnic, or to the library, they decline the offer. So much for being good friends,” you roll your eyes. Renjun finds himself smiling, and although he must admit that as every other college student, he himself would decline an invitation to a library if anyone asked, he’s like 99% certain that if it was you uttering out the question, he wouldn’t miss a heartbeat before joyfully jogging there with you.

“Ask me next time,” he blurts out, a poor attempt at flirting, “I wouldn’t say no.”

And it seems like tonight is the night where you suddenly get the last kick of courage needed when you talk to Renjun– maybe fueled by his coy smile when he said the previous comment, maybe just acting out on pure hormones– tonight's the night where he breathlessly takes your offer, still not thinking much of it, but igniting a curious spark in his own heart nonetheless, when you scratch the back of your neck in the last residue of anxiety, scrunching your nose at him and mumbling under your nose, barely heard above the loud music resonating through the living room. “Do you wanna sneak into my dorm room, then?”

Renjun almost chokes at your question– visitors in the dormitory are only allowed until midnight and as far as he’s aware, the clock is well after 2 AM right now, and he’s a male visitor, which is even more off the bounds in the eyes of the fierce woman guarding the entrance of the girl’s dormitory building. The more he stares at you, the more you seem to translate his silence into disagreement, which you panically try to undo with even more rambling. “I- I mean, since we both kind of hate this party and I think that if I drink more, I’m going to puke all over myself, so… My room is on the ground floor, so you can just climb in, if you wanted to. My roommate went home for the weekend, so there’s no one there, and we could– I mean, we don’t have to, honestly, but it’s kinda cold out and I thought we could both use a place more silent, ‘cause I really wanna head back now, but I don’t want to stop talking to you, y’know, and I don’t know if–”

“Okay, I’m down,” Renjun nods, efficiently shutting up your rambling, and when there’s a very apparent relief flashing over your face, he finds himself smiling in endearance at your antics, going as far as ruffling a hand through your hair in whatever kick the alcohol mixed with adrenaline gave him before you have him dragging his feet out of the house, both of your feet shuffling towards the campus.

The walk isn’t long, but he finds himself enjoying it. The condensation coming out of your mouths at the chilly weather serves more to the atmosphere when the both of you giggle out at absurd jokes and gossip, your voice breaking into soft hums when you sing a song under your breath in moments of silence that somehow feel both kind of awkward, but also kind of pleasant. He drags you by your hand to the other side of the sidewalk when a car passes by and you jump in surprise, eyes wide and glossy, mouth a little agape in an open-mouthed grin when his fingers stay intertwined with yours and you adjust your purse on your other shoulder, clearing your throat before you try to nonchalantly continue on with the conversation.

“I’ll go inside now,” you announce when you get to the girl’s dormitory building, breaking apart from the eager boy and coming closer to him when you confide the secret, “I’ll turn the light on in my room when I get there, so make sure to look out for the window. I’ll help you in, don’t worry,” you smile at him, and before he has a chance to reply, you disappear behind the glass door with a pep in your step.

Renjun finds himself sighing– now is the moment when he should realistically get relief, the moment when he’s supposed to relax for at least a second and prepare himself for whatever might happen in your dorm room– but when he slowly walks over to the left wing of the building and squints at the dark squares of windows, he wonders how in the hell he’s gonna climb in. Escaping out will be an easy task– the windows aren’t that high up– but coming in will be the problem. He guesses it’s the same with the whole situation– he bets the easiest part of the whole evening will be jumping out and running to his own room– how to survive the night in your presence and not go completely insane, he doesn’t know and wishes he had a manual to before he agreed to do this in the first place.

When the light goes on in one of the rooms and you wave at him from the inside, he finds himself involuntarily jogging towards the window, gears in his brain turning faster than the speed of light when he reaches the wall and you grin at him, opening the window and offering him your hand.

“If you grip the edge of the window and give me your hand, you can get in easily,” you say, watching as the boy cautiously looks around himself and scratches the back of his neck, mentally calculating his next movements.

“Have you done this before?”

“No,” you bashfully shake your head, “but my roommate did it twice, so I don’t think it’s that hard,” you note and nod at him, waiting for him to finally take action.

Renjun finds himself doing what he’s been told– and even though he huffs and almost falls over to his back (which would kill him, he thinks, since his physique is very close to a turtle’s), victory fills his veins when one of his legs finally ends up in your window, his body stumbling forward and almost toppling you over when the warmth of your room welcomes him as he lands on top of your desk.

“Welcome,” you laugh at him when he shakes his head in disbelief and takes off his coat, dropping it on top of the wooden table and watching you close the window behind him, so the cold doesn’t get in.

“That’s one way of inviting guests over, I guess,” he teases you, watching as you roll your eyes at him and go over to one of the beds. Renjun notices the room is different to the one he shares with Donghyuck– you and your roommate have two beds instead of a bunk one, the table is right under the window and you get a little more space over-all. You turn on the little lamp kept on your bedside table, and the boy watches you with interest as you cautiously walk around your own room as if it’s your first time seeing it, reminding him a little of a deer in the headlights, clueless and suddenly out of ideas.

Renjun finds himself laughing at your behavior– he finds himself endeared by it, the way you play with your fingers in nerves and try to think of anything to do in the intimacy that suddenly envelopes you when you invite someone over to your dorm room in the middle of the night– and when you aimlessly end up standing in front of him, your big eyes even bigger and glossier than before, he snickers at the state of you and shakes his head.

“Okay, so I know I was the one who invited you over, but now I’m kind of helpless in what we should actually do and all…” you giggle, a little embarrassed when you bear your eyes into his, your body subconsciously slotted in between his legs, his position leaning on the edge of the table allowing you and inviting you to do so.

“You’re cute,” he laughs at you, and before you have a chance to question him about the compliment, he has you silenced abruptly by his next actions.

“What do you–”

His hand is gripping your jaw and he leans into you, the newly found courage and affection towards you having him drunk on more than the alcohol, but also your whole presence– the way your hair smells when he’s this close to you, the way you pull the sleeves of your sweater further down when you don’t know what to do with your hands, the shyness in your gaze now that you have him in your cage– and his lips act on themselves when they press themselves against yours, soft but firm, tasting the strawberry juice mixed with vodka off your mouth, a surprised gasp against his lips more than enough to invite him even further in.

He feels your fingers tugging at his shirt and your skin growing hot under his touch, leaning back from you a little and finding you looking at him with a thousand different galaxies in your eyes, enough of a confirmation to him, but he’s a man– he still needs it vocally, when he grins lazily at you. “Was this one of the things you thought about when you invited me over?”

“Maybe…” you tug at your bottom lip with your teeth, a clearly battled grin trying to settle its way onto your lips.

“You should’ve just said so, then,” he smiles when he leans into you again, a little more confidently this time and kisses you again, again and again.

You stay under the window for a while, lips pressed hard against each other as you try to learn the curves of each other’s mouths by memory, lazy hands threaded into his hair and an arm around your waist now, steadying you in place. Foreheads pressed against each other when you break away for air, giggles resonating through the room when his lips make their way towards your neck and the softness of his hair tickles your skin, fingers threaded when you tug him towards your bed and you watch him kick his shoes off before you follow him onto the soft mattress.

His head falls into your pillow and you straddle his lap, your hair falling into your face when you look down at him from your position, the newly found dominance in your position charging you with unexplainable energy, and Renjun can’t help but smile at you sweetly when your eyes meet and you eagerly lean down towards him, fingers once again intertwined with his, hands laying next to his head. Your breath fans his swollen lips that you once again find yourself attacking, the contact overwhelming you and making it hard to breathe. Who knows how long the both of you have wanted to do this but never had the courage to– it’s a miracle that it’s even happening tonight.

And with the built-up desire, you act instinctively– hands breaking away from his when you grip his cheeks and give him one last peck, lips now traveling down his jaw and neck instead, having the boy shivering under the contact, your actions slowly but surely driving him crazy when you find his sweet spot and you get a satisfied gasp from him, a reward for your tonight’s efforts.

His hand grips your hip, and something about the burn of his fingers even through the fabric of your jeans makes you move on instinct, earning yourself a sharper hiss this time that doesn’t make you stop, however– quite the opposite, actually– as you break into a wide grin at the very evident effect you have on him, your movements slow and painful, but still having him harden under you.

Goosebumps appear all over your skin when his cold fingers capture the skin of your stomach when he aimlessly tries to find a place in your body to ground yourself, but the more he answers to your movements, the more encouraged you get. He tugs you back down so you’re facing him, which does nothing to halt your painful pace as he drags out yet another kiss from you.

“If we don’t stop now, it’s gonna be really hard for me to do so later,” Renjun huffs into your ear, which only gets you more excited.

“Who said I want to stop?” you ask him, fingers trailing up his side over his shirt, yet still making him fire up and flush in his cheeks. “Do you want to stop?”

“Do I look like I wanna stop?” he snickers, shaking his head in utter disbelief, hand traveling dangerously close to the cup of your breast.

“Let’s continue, then,” you muse, peeling yourself off him only the slightest amount, hands dragging themselves down his body until you reach the waistband of his pants, gently dragging the fabric down until he’s left in front of you only with a tent in his underwear, big eyes curiously and breathlessly watching you in your actions. He could be a gentleman and tell you you don’t have to, tell you to stop and come back up and that he will pleasure you first, but the more he watches you as you palm him over the thin fabric of his boxer briefs with the dangerous doe eyes of yours, the less he wants to do just that. In all reality– who is he to deny a blowjob from you? Or anyone, for that matter?

His whole body shudders under your touch, actions careful, but so painfully satisfying. Renjun watches your face with his bottom lip trapped between his teeth, the reality of it all sobering him up and making him aware of each shift of your body, each centimeter your fingertip travels against his skin, each motion that slowly makes a bundle of nerves appear in his stomach. It only gets too much for him when you lean on your elbows, nails gently pricking the skin of his thighs as your mouth hesitantly greets his dick, and he feels like a virgin again when his eyes peel off you just in case he finishes just by watching you blowing him off like a highschooler at his first blowjob, forcing himself to watch the ceiling instead.

Eyes traveling all over your room– the closed window opposite of him, the bed on the other side of the room, the walls above your bed– he gets lost in the galaxy drawn on a piece of paper that’s plastered right above your pillowcase, and another graphite sketch of eyes bearing right into your soul, as if they were watching him in the act, and another one, of a deer that looks through the shade of the trees, before it hits him.

“Oh my god what the fuck–” he gasps, and his tone must have sounded too different to the satisfied moans that have been spilling out of his mouth up until now, because you abruptly stop your movements and your gazes lock, your eyes completely mortified.

“Am I doing something wrong?”

“Oh– Oh god no, fuck, you’re doing amazing, trust me,” apologies spill off his tongue at your distressed state, “it’s just– where… where did you get these?” he asks, pointing towards all the drawings taped all over your walls that he failed to notice in the heat of the moment before.

“Oh,” you cluelessly hum, eyebrows furrowed, “I found them spilling out of a trashcan close to the boy’s dorms when I was walking to class one morning, and they were so pretty I had to take them.”

“I– you like these?” Renjun asks, full of strange surprise and genuine curiosity. You’re now sitting back on your heels and looking at the boy with big eyes, still slightly clueless and very much in a weird state of distress– because why would a man ask you about the random artwork on your wall in the middle of a mindblowing blowjob?– before you nod with a slight pout, agreeing.

“Well, I wouldn’t have decorated my room with them if I didn’t like them, y’know… Why are you… why are you asking?”

“Oh,” Renjun repeats again, a dumbfounded look taking over his soft features before he sits up on the bed and scoots closer to you, a weird sense of euphoria spilling out every vein of his body when the held-back dopamine is released into his system. A wide grin appears on his lips before he stares into your eyes with a milky way mirroring behind his eyeballs, glittering orbs haphazardly gliding over your face before he reaches your lips again, pecking them one, two, three times before you break away and look at him with furrowed eyebrows, a slight crease right in between them.

“What are you–”

“I think I’m gonna literally cum just at hearing those words, Y/N,” he blurbs out before he kisses the tip of your nose again, completely endeared and close to a happy boy under the Christmas tree, and while you may enjoy that look on him, you’re still slightly confused. Huang Renjun sighs almost a little too dreamingly and smooths the wrinkle between your eyebrows with a careful swipe of his thumb, still not giving you any explanation.

“Renjun, I’m afraid I’m not quite following why this is so important to you right now,” you mumble, having your partner laugh airly– just as if all his worries escaped through the window and you fixed his life with a few drawings plastered on your wall.

“Those, dear Y/N,” he points towards the papers stuck to your walls, eyeing the specific one he worked for 3 hours on and kind of mourned the morning after he realized he threw it away, months of practice and art that maybe wasn’t even that bad in the first place ending up in the trash because of a fit of rage, “are all mine. Mine as in, I drew them… And then threw them out in the middle of a slight mental breakdown.”

You look at him for a few heartbeats, eye contact never breaking before you avert your gaze towards the artwork on the walls– it takes you a few seconds before it hits you– and you gasp, hurriedly looking back at the artist in front of you, stars glimmering in your eyes now as well, matching his excitement. “Oh my god, are you for real?”

“Yeah.”

“You drew all of these?”

“Yeah,” he nods again, breathless.

“This is an insane coincidence,” you snicker, and Renjun didn’t know he had it in him– maybe it’s still the effect of alcohol that slips off his tongue when he speaks– but he cages you in his arms as he kisses you again, a whole new world appearing in front of him when the cheesiness meets the comfort of your walls.

“You’d call this a coincidence?” he hums. “Maybe it was fate.”

Earning himself a sharp laugh, almost mocking him as you swat his shoulder, you fall back with him towards the mattress, and while the heated moment might be gone, you don’t mind at all. Renjun looks at you with a certain softness in his eyes, a pride swelling in his chest, and for a moment, it’s true and you truly did open up a new reality for him and changed his life forever, fixed all of his problems, if you will, because the appreciation it takes for a girl to tape up at least 20 of his messy artworks onto her wall after finding the stash in the trashcan on her way to class might just be the encouragement he needed to keep going with the craft.

It’s hard to believe that this shitty party actually brought him somewhere– not only to your bed, but also to your life, to a beginning of something new and a restart in something he thought he’d forever be giving up on.

“So… Do you need those back? Because I kinda like them here,” you giggle, and the crinkle of his eyes is enough of an answer to you.

“You can keep them. I’ll just draw new ones you can look at,” he muses, stealing another kiss from you and squeezing your hip, having you squeal against his mouth.

“Now, to get back to what we were doing before–”

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ltbarnes · 4 months

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‘Tis the Damn Season

Stark U #6

Summary: It’s Christmas Eve, you’re too drunk, you’ve basically avoided Bucky and Steve for six months and the last person you’d want to meet at this party just happens to be yelling in your face. The panic attack is inevitable, really.

Pairing: college!Steve Rogers x reader, college!Bucky Barnes x reader, college!Sam Wilson x reader, college!Natasha Romanoff x reader

Word count: 7.8k

Warnings: so much angst, past SA, alcohol, talk about violence, Christmas celebrations, things finally start to happen, kissing :)

A/N: Happy holidays to anyone who celebrates and to those who don’t, I hope you have a good few days anyways <3 This is the first I’ve posted since July which is awful of me so sorry

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

You didn't see them all summer. The day after your last exam was over, you bolted back to your hometown and spent the entire summer selectively ignoring messages from Bucky and Natasha and Steve and Sam asking what you were doing and how your summer was going and maybe you could all meet up and go somewhere and—

It's December now, and every goddamn day since June you have been trying to figure out if what Bucky said to you when you were sick was a fever-induced hallucination or if he really, actually, said that he wanted you to take his last name someday. It made you panic, because the entire spring term you tried to convince yourself that your feelings towards them were batshit crazy and any inkling to them feeling the same was a delusional reach, grasping for crumbs that in reality were just friendly gestures. And then he says that.

"She's just practicing her future last name, Stevie."

So, yeah...things have been weird. Three months have passed since classes started and none of you want to mention what happened right before summer break. Actually, with each day passing you feel more like maybe it was just a hallucination or a very vivid dream, because both Bucky and Steve act like it never even happened. Bucky even had his mouth latched onto some blonde sophomore at a dumb, stupid frat party on Halloween. You went home right after and cried for two hours. But it's not hard to conclude that even if there was some spark or connection or anything beyond friendship with either of them before summer, it has died out completely.

The subject will probably never be broached. You're too scared of confrontation and definitely too scared of revealing unreciprocated feelings for that to happen. The slightly tense atmosphere in the loft is entirely your fault—your lack of communication with anyone in the group during the summer has made them a little confused, you guess. You mostly spend time in your room, giving excuses of studying and talking with parents on the phone and 'I'm just tired, sorry'.

Spending too much time with Natasha scares you too, because she reads you so well and you don't want her to know how hurt and unhappily in love you are. She'll try to do something about it and then Steve and Bucky will catch on and then you will end up rejected and labeled as crazy, because who the fuck falls in love with two people?

That doesn't mean you've managed to avoid her. Living in the same apartment as her definitely makes that hard, but just the fact that she won't let you makes it impossible. Last week she even broke into your room when you had it locked, because apparently she knows how to pick a lock open in under ten seconds. She absolutely knows something is off, but so far she hasn't brought it up.

Natasha is the sole reason why you're now standing in the backyard of some rich kid's house just off campus, surrounded by smoke from cheap cigarettes and fairy lights hung up between the trees and one too many shots of vodka in your blood. It's December utterly and thoroughly—there's snow on the ground but people still haven't accepted the fact that wearing their short dresses and tank tops without jackets does not work anymore. Ice drops hangs from the tree where you stand, listening to Natasha talk with a drunken girl looking for her phone.

It's fun, sure. Not the worst party you've been to and not the best either. You talked to the girl you've been sitting next to in History class earlier for almost twenty minutes. Got free vodka. It's Friday and you don't have any exams to study for. None of that makes you forget that things aren't the same.

"Nat. Nat." You poke her shoulder repeatedly, obnoxiously probably, until she glances over her shoulder with a slight glare.

"What is it?"

"I'm gonna get 'nother drink. Inside," you tell her, pointing with your thumb towards a hedge even though it was meant to be the door. Natasha seems to understand anyway.

"Okay. Don't wander off too long. And come back here right after."

"Yes, ma'am." You give her a half-assed salute before turning around, swaying slightly in your step. It's the uneven and slippery surface of the snow-covered ground, you tell yourself.

There's a lot of people here, is what you note as you push yourself through the seemingly endless crowds of the living room. You kind of hate that they haven't played a single song you like and if Steve was here he would agree, because he doesn't listen to any music made after the internet was born. Bucky would then make fun of Steve and you would laugh and everything would be right in the world. Instead you're pressed to kitchen drawers of a dark kitchen, cheap vodka mixed with soda running down your throat.

The kitchen is crowded too, but either way it's a respite from whatever the hell's going on in the living room. Jumping up and down and calling it dancing (you were doing the same the hour before). You're too drunk to be miserable about everything happening in your life this entire term and much too drunk to feel the absolute atrocious taste of your drink.

In half an hour you will probably throw up and tomorrow will be spent nursing a horrible hangover, but those consequences seem insignificant right now. You just keep thinking about the image of Bucky shoving his tongue down someone's throat that wasn't yours. It was heartbreaking. That he's not here is a good thing, because you'd either witness the same thing again or actually bring it up to him, and that's much worse. God knows it's only a matter of time before Steve does the same thing.

Someone pushes into you, forcing the liquid from your cup to spill from the confines of the red plastic onto your dress. It's black, so it doesn't really matter, but the alcohol still seeps through the fabric until it reaches your skin.

"Shit, fuck—"

Your hand tries to somehow dry your dress by fanning the fabric, which obviously doesn't help very much, and the paper towels placed on the counter in front of you escape your drunken mind completely.

Fresh air and icy winter winds are the only options, so you push through and stumble into people on your way outside. It takes a lot longer than it should. You can't really see much considering the dizziness and darkness inside, but somehow, magically, you are eventually dragging your way towards Natasha who stands in the same place as before.

"Nat. Natty—I spilled. Look."

The black dress with the now wet patch is lifted towards her by your hands, highlighted for her to see. You sway as you tell her.

"Jesus, you can barely stand straight," Natasha answers with a stabling hand to your shoulder, shaking her head to herself instead of focusing on the very urgent fact that you spilled on yourself.

Natasha turns to the girl she's talking to, saying something you can't bother to decipher, before stepping aside with a guiding arm around you.

"We gotta get you home before you embarrass yourself for real," she mumbles underneath her breath.

"I heard that," you whisper, a loud hiccup following. Whoops.

She rolls her eyes, fishing her phone up from her pocket.

"Who—who you writing? To?" you ask, slightly aware that your sentences lack correct structure but not really caring. As long as the message comes across, right?

"I'm texting Steve. I can't drive and you sure as hell can't."

Even in your state, panic instantly sets in over the mention of his name even though you live in the same goddamn apartment.

"Nooo. No Steve."

Your hand grasps for her phone. Nat pulls it away from your reach much quicker than you can comprehend.

"Yes Steve. You're a mess and he's the only one with the patience to take care of this level of drunk. I don't care that you're avoiding them for some stupid goddamn reason," she tells you.

"Nat," you whine. "He can't see me. I spilled!"

She just glares at you. "I swear to god, Y/n...nobody cares that you spilled your drink. I can't even see it."

"I'm so drunk!"

"Yeah, I know. Just—just stay here, okay? I'm going to get you some water so you can sober up by the time your precious Steve comes for us."

Natasha is heading inside before you can process her words. Waiting in place for a few minutes turns into an eternity in your mind. She should know better than to leave you unattended and then expect you to stay—really, it's her own fault. You will accept no blame if Nat gets mad at you for going inside again. It's cold and you need to go to the bathroom. Also, you're mad at her. Telling Steve to come get you? That's just...embarrassing.

Once again you're shouldering your way past people on about the same level of intoxication as you. There's a bad remix of a Christmas song playing loudly. Makes you wanna punch whoever's phone is connected to the speaker. The bathroom is so, so far away. It's something the architect of this house should've thought of before he put it at the very end of this long hallway you're currently making your way through, but clearly he didn't have you in mind.

"Fuck! Watch where you're going, asshole," some girl seethes at you as your shoulder nudges against hers. A nudge is an exaggeration—you brushed against it at most. She's probably an aggressive drunk, that's all.

You don't answer, instead fumbling for the door handle to what you believe might be the bathroom. Some couple is making out in here, the girl with her ass planted on the edge of the bathtub and the guy nearly devouring her face. Doesn't look very pleasant, if you're honest.

"Out. I need to pee."

Your hands find their way to their shoulders, ushering the lovesick pair out of the room without much protest from either of them. They're still making out as they walk out.

Despite your less than sober state, you manage to remember to lock the door after they leave. Some of the mascara that previously inhabited your lashes has moved down to rest under your eyes. You rub it away, smudging it slightly, but it just makes you look a little more like one of those cool girls you always see on campus. It will do.

You kind of want to throw up, but decide against it. That hasn't happened since you were a freshman, and you'd like to keep it that way. Staring at yourself in the mirror occupies your time in the bathroom instead, swaying slightly with your hands placed on the cold sink. If Steve saw you now he would be so disappointed. At least you imagine he would be—that fatherly look on his face as he tells you how you need to be more mindful with your alcohol consumption. Did you even watch who poured your drink? Never go anywhere alone at a party. Especially not a frat one. You know better than this, Y/n.

Steve's imaginary voice is interrupted by someone banging on the door, shouting for you to hurry the fuck up. It's been over ten minutes, but to you it just feels like three, and Natasha has been looking for you ever since she returned to the garden with a glass of water in her hand and no one to give it to. It's not her banging on the door, unfortunately, but instead a dickhead guy who has no patience. Can't a girl spend some time alone in the bathroom doing nothing anymore?

The guy glares at you as you push the door open, stumbling out into the crowded hallway while paying him no mind. It's dark save for the red LED-lights plastered on the walls, making it feel like a seedy dive bar instead of a seedy house. You don't see much.

"Hey! Hey, you—the girl with the black dress!"

Someone pushes their way past the people talking and making out and leaning against the walls, shoving through them as he searches for your attention. Of course, you don't really think it's you he's after. Half of the people at this party are wearing black dresses.

A clammy hand finds purchase on your shoulder, halting you in your less than gracious steps and turning you around with ease. Head tilted back, gaze running upwards until they settle on the face of a quite attractive guy. He doesn't look pretty happy to see you. You're not very happy to see him either.

The blood drains from your face, stealing away all that alcohol-induced heat within a second as his curly hair and green eyes look down at you with that same contempt he had when Sam dragged him away from the kitchen almost a year ago. You had hoped you never had to see him again. It was a naive thing to wish for.

"Y/n, right?" he asks bitterly. You don't answer, but he takes your silence as a yes. It was probably a rhetorical question anyway. His slightly crooked nose was perfectly straight the last time you saw him. His face is committed to your memory, burned in to taunt you on sleepless nights and everytime an unknown man walks a little too closely when you're out alone. "Your little boyfriend broke my fucking nose. You know that?"

Another rhetorical question. Definitely more threatening. Might be the tight grip he has on your arm too. Either way, his mere presence has apparently stripped away your ability to breathe normally. It feels like you've been running to the point of nausea, dark spots dancing before your eyes as he shakes you in attempt to get an answer.

"You ruined my fucking reputation. For what? I barely touched you. Such a sensitive fucking bitch, going around telling everyone that..." His voice trails off, ushering you into a quiet corner when he realizes people are staring. "Got nothing to say now, huh? Been so good at running your fucking mouth before, haven't you?"

"Let me go," you whisper, voice wavering. You don't sound assertive at all, instead weak and fearful. It's what you feel, as an upbeat, slightly bad cover rendition of "All I Want For Christmas" booms through the house. Girls shrieking in excitement over in the living room reaches your ears. You would have joined them if you weren't currently cornered by the guy who assaulted you in your own kitchen a year ago.

"No, we're going to fucking talk. What the fuck were you doing, going around saying shit like that about me to everyone?"

"I...I didn't..." Your lips part between words, breathing out shakily, trying to articulate sentences long enough to make sense. Why can't you speak? Why can't you even think?

"You didn't what?" he seethes. "You're such a fucking bitch, you know that? Acts all innocent and hides behind her friends. My nose is fucking crooked forever because of that fuckhead you sent after me."

Is it the alcohol that renders you this goddamn useless? There's just tears springing to your eyes, unable to say anything in defense of yourself. Can't even walk away.

He pushes you against the wall, knocking the breath out of you. To other people it probably looks like you're hooking up. At least that's what you hope they think, because otherwise you want to wonder why no one is intervening.

"Joshua, please let me go," you tell him again, even more pathetic this time. You're crying now, curled in on yourself in attempt to make yourself as small as possible.

"Fuck, you're so—"

"She told you to let her go."

The assertive, familiar tone booms through the hallway. It doesn't really, can probably only be heard by the people around you, but it feels like it when Steve's tall figure pushes through with hasty steps towards where you and Joshua stand, followed by a glaring Bucky with his jaw clenched so fucking tightly. A sob of relief is drawn from your lips, muffled by the back of your hand.

Joshua steps back instantly. Kind of funny to think that he's so scared of those two, and sad to think that he only respects a 'no' when it comes from men.

"Nice nose job," Bucky speaks up, pointing at his own nose as he stares at Joshua's crooked one, courtesy of the damn good punch he managed to land with his left fist all those months ago.

"Fuck you," Joshua growls, taking a step forward in attempt to appear more threatening or something. He doesn't really succeed—both Bucky and Steve towers over him in both length and build, unrelenting in their stance. As if they're stone walls keeping out the enemy.

Steve rolls his his eyes, shaking his head with a sigh. "Just get out of here. Don't go near her ever again, you hear me? Bucky's glad to fix your nose otherwise. Break it right back. Can't promise the result will be very good, though."

Bucky stands slightly behind Steve, raising an eyebrow in Joshua's direction that tells him there's not even a trace of a lie in the blonde giant's statement.

"You—fuck this." Joshua throws his hands in the air, aiming the most distasteful glare over his shoulder in your direction, before pushing past Steve and Bucky with a shove.

Your body instantly deflates, the tension melting off your limbs as you close your eyes and lean back against the wall. Gentle, firm hands instantly reach your cheeks, your arms, searching for any trace Joshua might have left behind on your body.

"Hey, hey. Y/n, are you okay? Did he touch you? Sweetheart, look at me."

Bucky's voice draws you out of the anxious, panicked state you slipped into, fluttering your eyelids open to see his worried frown and an equally worried Steve looming behind him. Wet cheeks and red-rimmed eyes greet them, pupils dilated from the alcohol.

"Y/n, are you hurt? How long have you two been talking?" Steve adds, looming over you in such a way that his large frame blocks out any of the colorful lights plastered on the walls.

They already know you're drunk—Natasha was the one to call them here to get you, after all. Maybe your silence and obvious intoxication makes it clear to them after a couple of seconds that an answer from you is a few minutes away, a few miles of distance from this foggy, packed house. Nothing more is said or requested from you. Instead your trembling form is led away and out into the biting cold by gentle hands belonging to your friends. Even your slight shock can't shield you from freezing your ass off as soon as you get out into the fresh air again, teeth beginning to chatter within the second step on tightly packed snow.

"What the—where the hell have you been? I swear to god, Y/n, I was gone for two minutes! I've been looking for you everywhere!" an angry Natasha yells, running perfectly towards the three of you down the slippery lawn to where Steve is currently helping you into the backseat of his car.

"Nat," Steve says, giving her a pleading look that silently tells her it's not the time for a scolding.

"What? I told her to stay put when I went to get her a glass of water and she just disappeared out of nowhere. Slippery motherfucker while drunk, I swear she'll be the death of me—"

"Nat," he repeats, sternly this time. In that tone only he masters, silencing even the most eager tongues with a single exhale. "She met Joshua. And she's not okay. So please, leave your yelling for tomorrow and get in the car."

Steve holds the passenger door open, gesturing for the seat beside Bucky. He's turning the key, letting the car warm up properly while he clutches the wheel tightly. Natasha's irritated frown turns into a concerned one, nodding silently before slipping inside. Steve closes the door shut behind her.

You lean your head against the frost-covered window, fogged up by your breath two inches away from it, and close your eyes. Steve leans over you, reaching for the belt and fastens it over your torso. You forgot. He never does.

It's no surprise, doesn't startle you despite your absentminded state, when his warm hand cups your cheek, turns your head to face him. Soft, blue gaze and ridiculously long lashes. It's nothing but contrasting against the clouds released from your mouths with each breath—warm, concerned...loving? Maybe.

"Are you okay?" he whispers, thumb rubbing over your cheek.

You nod. "Yes. I am now."

Bucky puts his foot on the gas, turns on the blinker, and pulls away from the curb, out onto the streets. It's nearly soundless. The usual rumble from wheels against road is cushioned by the snow.

"This was a mistake. Sorry, I can't—" Sam gags, moving his head out of the bathroom before returning his presence within a few seconds. "You're a real shitty guard, Nat. Why'd you let her drink this much?"

All four of your roommates are gathered in the bathroom, surrounding you as if you're a newly born lion cub in a zoo, while you puke your guts out into the toilet. Steve is kneeling on the floor beside you, a comforting hand rubbing your back, while Bucky sits a few feet away with a glass of water in hand, ready for whenever you need it.

"Fuck you. You weren't there—she was like a goddamn ghost, just slipping away everytime I blinked. Looked fucking everywhere for her. 'S not my fault," Nat answers, residing on the floor of the shower in lack of space.

"Not true," you murmur in answer, your voice echoing off the ceramic surrounding you.

You're pretty much done throwing up, it's just the exhaustion following that's keeping you slumped over on the bathroom tile. Your hand stretches out in Bucky's direction, reaching for the glass of water that's gulped down within a few seconds.

"Careful. Gonna get sick again if you do it this fast," Bucky says, unable to help himself from brushing away the stray drops of water running down your chin.

The gesture is nothing new from him. He did it when you were sick all those months ago too, and you haven't forgotten it at all. His thumb gently rubbing over your skin as if you're precious, something deserving of gentleness, is engraved into your mind. You're thankful for getting most of the alcohol out of your system, because you might not have remembered this moment in the morning if not. Fuck it if you forgot the way his pupils widen just slightly, as if he didn't mean to, as if he couldn't help himself.

"I'm fine," you whisper in answer, clearing your throat. "Got it all out."

"Good." Steve's hand moves up from your back to your head, stroking it for just a second before withdrawing his touch. "Let's get you to the couch."

"I don't wanna go to the couch. Wanna be in my bed." You're pouting. Maybe there is some trace of alcohol left in you.

"Steve and Buck will feel much less like creepy stalkers if they stare at you sleeping on the couch instead of hovering around your bedroom all night like a bunch of pervs," Natasha speaks up. A snort follows after, as if it was a joke and not a statement. Definitely tipsy too, despite unwilling to admit such a weakness.

Steve raises a reprimanding eyebrow Natasha's way, telling her to shut her mouth with just his gaze. She smirks in answer.

"Don't listen to her. A fucking liar," Bucky remarks, but there's still some form of amusement in his expression. He can't even deny the statement—he is going to watch over you. Doesn't really matter if it's in the living room or in your bedroom. "Now let's get you up. C'mon."

With a push from your arms against the cold tile, you're standing on two legs again. Steve is hovering his hand near your back, ready to support if the vodka decides to topple you over. But you're fine—just tired now.

For ten minutes it feels things are back to normal again. On the living room couch, nestled in between them, your head leaning on Steve's shoulder as a stupid Hallmark Christmas movie plays on the tv. Sam and Natasha are in their rooms sleeping, and for a few moments you forget why you kept your distance. Everything would have been good if this is how the night would end. If Steve didn't have to address the past six months.

"I've missed this. With us," Steve whispers as he strokes your shoulder absentmindedly, like it's second nature to him to have his hands on your skin. "You've been so distant lately. For months, Y/n."

The room instantly becomes tense enough to make you nauseous. A clearing of your throat, an attempt to sit up out of Steve's hold and away from this conversation that you'd much rather avoid is futile—it's instantly stopped by Bucky's hand on your chest that pushes you right back.

"No," he says sternly. "You're gonna sit right here, sweetheart, and tell us why you've barely let us see you since fall term started. 'Cause it's sure as fuck not something I take lightly. Why have you avoided us?"

You look away, shaking your head to yourself as you try to talk yourself down. You will not break. You will not confess a single thing. You are going to act like everything is fine and you are not currently freaking out being sandwiched between the only two men you would gladly be sandwiched between under different circumstances than this.

"What are you even talking about?" you answer meekly. It's clear as soon as the words come out of your mouth that no one is falling for your innocent act, not even sweet, naive Steve. Then again, you're doing a particularly bad job. "Both of you think I've been distant?"

"Cut the bullshit, Y/n. If we've done something wrong, just say so." Bucky bites his cheek, glancing down for just a second, but it's enough to let his vulnerability slip. He's hurt.

A wave of guilt instantly washes over your body, an unusual feeling. During all these months of avoiding any interaction with Bucky and Steve besides the necessary ones, you didn't think that they'd actually mind your absence that much. They might not be hopelessly in love with you like you are with them, but they're still your friends. Friends miss each other.

"Or if it's something personal, you can tell us, you know? Is it anxiety, or are you feeling generally low, or...?" Steve chips in, trying to drown out Bucky's accusatory tone.

"No, no...I'm not depressed, Steve. And none of you have done anything wrong, I promise," you say hastily, shutting down their concerns as quickly as possible while trying to buy yourself time to come up with an excuse. "I just...needed some alone time."

Bucky rolls his eyes, shaking his head. Sassy man. "Bullshit again. You've spent a bunch of time with Natasha. Sam, too. It's us you're avoiding." He points to himself and Steve with his hand. "It's been almost six months, Y/n. What the hell's your problem?" He pushes himself off the couch, standing up and blocking your view of the tv. It's as if his frustration is all contained while sitting down.

"Bucky," Steve scolds, glaring up at his friend. He's not appreciating the tone at all, that's for sure.

"There's no problem, Bucky," you tell him, shaking your head. Trying to dismiss this entire conversation before you reveal too much.

"No! Y/n, I'm going fucking crazy! This is the first time you've even let me touch you in half a year!" Bucky yells, a pleading tone in his voice that breaks your heart just a little. Because it's true. You have barely even hugged since June. You've barely talked for more than five minutes at a time.

"Don't yell at her, for god's sake, Bucky," Steve adds, his hands on your shoulders and ready to get up from the couch any second.

"What the hell's going on with you, huh?!" Bucky continues, ignoring Steve's statement. His eyes are solely focused on you, void of the usual softness. There's just anger. "Cause if you can't stand us, then tough fucking luck. I can have your fucking things moved out by tomorrow for all I care. Can move right into Walker's dorm. Bet he'd accept you with open fucking arms if you get to your knees and—“

The drop of your heart down to your stomach can almost be heard, an echoing, hollow sound. You're sure of it. Bucky shuts his mouth, as if he realizes what exactly was about to come out of it. What is not even a second of silence feels like a whole minute, before Steve shoots up from his seat beside you and grabs Bucky by the collar, rattling the whole room with the force in which he nearly tackles Bucky against the wall with. The tangy taste of iron starts to fill your mouth, your teeth biting down on your lip hard enough to draw blood. There's tears lingering in your eyes but you can't hold them back, not anymore.

"You don't fucking talk to her like that, you bast—"

"I love you! It’s ‘cause I fucking love you guys!” you yell, a pathetic sob marring the words. “So I’m fucking sorry that I’ve avoided you two but I’m trying to get over these goddamn—these feelings, but I can’t, okay! I can’t!”

The bitter delivery is punctuated by the sleeve of your sweater wiping away the tears furiously, cutting Steve off and drawing both of their wild eyes towards your figure now standing up, just a minute away from a complete breakdown. You don't even process the fact that Steve cursed. It would've been teased about endlessly in any other situation.

"I will go. I'll leave if that's what you want," you seethe with a voice so unsteady that it's almost unbearable to listen to. "But I don’t hate any of you. I don’t, and I get why you’re mad. But fuck you, Bucky. Fuck you for saying that.”

More tears fall. It's futile to wipe them away when they'll be replaced the second after. You want to say more, hit Bucky where it hurts, but you cannot get the goddamn words to form on your lips. Opening your mouth and closing it again, shaking your head, comes before hastily walking towards your room and locking yourself inside without giving them a chance to answer.

As soon as the door is slammed shut, your hand comes up to your mouth to muffle the sobs. Sinking down to the floor as if you’re in a movie, forehead resting against your knees. The rate of your heartbeats could be considered dangerously high, but you just blurted out a whole love confession for two of your roommates in the midst of a fight. How the hell could everything turn to shit so quickly? Half an hour ago all of you were joking around in the bathroom, and now you're not sure you have the courage to face any of them again.

It's a rash, impulsive decision fueled by anger and betrayal and shame, but you rush over to your closet and pull out an overnight bag that's soon filled to the brim with enough things to last you a few days. You're crying the entire time.

When you pass the living room again, Bucky isn't there anymore. But Steve is. Barely a glance his way is spared, with hasty steps heading towards the hallway. You remind yourself of a furious toddler when you angrily put on your jacket, stick your feet into your winter boots. The bag is slung over your shoulder, hand resting on the door handle.

"Don't go. Y/n, please don't leave."

Steve stands at the other side of the hallway, a broken down expression on his pretty face.

"Bucky went out of line, but he didn't mean it, I swear. He's just too prideful to admit it," he continues. You shake your head, biting down on your bottom lip. "Please, honey. It’s Christmas Eve. It won’t be the same if you’re not here tomorrow.”

"I just need some space," you whisper, brushing away a stray tear with the sleeve of your jacket. You’re so embarrassed and hurt that you can barely look him in the eye. "I can't be in the same apartment as him right now."

Steve sighs, looking about ready to just throw you over his shoulder to get you to stay. But he won't do that. That's not Steve. So instead he glances down to the floor, shaking his head to himself.

“Did you mean it?” he asks softly. “The thing about—you said you loved us. Did you mean it?”

It takes a few seconds before you nod tentatively, sniffling and keeping your gaze on a spot past Steve. He doesn’t say anything.

Steve gathers courage enough to walk up to where you stand by the door, grabbing your cheeks with his hands, thumb running over the tear-stained skin gently. For a few moments, he just looks at you. Loud thoughts running amok in that perfect head of his.

“Nothing I say right now will do my feelings any justice, so I’m gonna save any big speeches for tomorrow. But just…stay. It’s 2 am, it’s freezing out and you’re still drunk. I don’t want you out there on the streets alone. I need you to stay, even if it’s only for your own safety. Don’t have to talk to any of us if you don’t want to.”

His words makes you nod automatically. All it took was his hands on your skin and the flicker of hope his words ignite in your chest, and you conceded within a second. No hesitation left in that exhausted body of yours. He‘s not saying outright that your feelings are requited, but it doesn’t feel like a rejection either. He doesn’t seem disgusted by your confession, by the knowledge that you’re in love with both him and his best friend.

“Good girl. Let’s just—let’s get you to bed, okay?”Steve tells you, squeezing your shoulder gently. With your confirmation in form of another silent nod, he nestles the bag out of your grip and takes off the jacket from your torso.

The bed feels so soft and warm and comforting when you lie down. Steve tucks you in. It’s achingly sweet and you don’t really deserve it after avoiding him and Bucky like that for so long, but he looks out for you nonetheless.

“Steve,” you whisper, drawing his gaze up to meet yours. “I’m sorry. For being so distant.”

He shakes his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You were scared,” Steve answers. “Don’t worry about anything, okay? Get some sleep. You’ve had a tough night, Y/n.”

The softest of smiles grazes your lips, puppy eyes gazing up at Steve. Your wonderful, caring, perfect Steve.

“Are you alright? It must’ve been hard meeting Joshua again. And what Bucky said, it…it was far from okay.”

“I will be,” you whisper.

He nods, observes your face for a few seconds. Leans down to press a kiss to your forehead—what kind of college guy even does that? And then he leaves the room, turning the light off behind him.

You’re woken up by a red headed, crazy woman sitting on top of you over the sheets, shaking your shoulders.

“Wake up, fuckhead. You’re gonna open the presents I got you,” Natasha urges, grinning down at you as you blink your eyes open, groaning.

“Fuckhead?” you ask, a tired chuckle from your lips as Natasha climbs off the bed.

“Yes. Don’t like it, huh?” she teases. “C’mon. The guys are already waiting.”

With slow steps and a loud yawn, the slightest trace of a hangover plaguing your body, you drag yourself out into the living room. Around the ugly, little tree that Sam insisted on cutting down from the campus gardens last week (he almost got arrested by the security guards) the three boys sit. Your gaze falls to the floor, scratching the skin right above your lip nervously, once Bucky looks up at you. Can’t really read his expression, but you figure you’ll lay the fight aside for the day. It’s Christmas, after all.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” Steve says, urging you to sit down next to him right there on the carpet. You offer a soft smile, and an even softer ‘Merry Christmas’ back. You’re still unsure about yesterday. Despite there being no rejection from either of them, the uncertainty is kind of killing you. A pit of anxiety rests in your stomach, an uneasy feeling corrupting every cell as you sit down on the floor next to Steve.

Not even ten minutes later, the living room is drowning in a sea of wrapping paper. Natasha went overboard with the gift shopping this year, it seems like, but her absent father is also some kind of Russian oligarch or something so she tends to use up as much of his money as she can. You’re not complaining.

The special edition of The Hobbit, signed by the director of the movie, that you managed to get on eBay and cost you a fucking fortune is received with a whispered ‘thank you’ from Bucky. He holds it in his hands tightly, staring down at the book without a word, and you don’t know if he’s happy for it. Maybe he’s not happy with anything touched by you at this moment. He hasn’t gotten you a gift, it seems like, or maybe he threw it in the trash and burned it yesterday.

Steve got you three books that he’d heard you say you wanted months ago, and a dainty silver necklace with a bee pendant hanging from it. “You know, uh, I usually call you ‘honey’ and I thought it was a little funny, maybe. But I can exchange it if you don’t like it. It’s no problem,” he had said, even though there were tears of gratitude in your eyes. Your arms were thrown around him a second later, hugging him tightly as you thanked him profusely for the most thoughtful gift.

Now you’re leaning your back against the couch, still on the floor, watching as Sam and Natasha are tinkering with his new Nintendo Switch that he got from her (overboard with the gifts, as previously mentioned). He’s so happy it almost makes you zoned out as you watch his childlike excitement. It’s nice to see the two of them so calm and sweet with each other too. Usually bickering and getting on each other’s nerves all the time otherwise.

“Y/n, can we talk?”

Your head tilts back, looking up at Bucky standing nervously in front of you, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. There’s a deep hesitation within you, a pride that wants to say no and remain in your angry state forever without confrontation. But it’s Bucky. You hate this animosity between the two of you, the tension. Despite being pissed off and hurt and afraid that he doesn’t want you, you can’t say no, so you nod and push yourself up to a stand.

Bucky closes the door to his room behind him gently, clearing his throat and looking at anything but you. A sigh comes out of his mouth, shaking his head, before he parts his lips to speak.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. What I said was disgusting and unforgivable and so fucking out of line. You didn’t deserve that at all. So out of proportion to what I was mad at you for,” Bucky says, running the palm of his calloused hand over his face.

“It was,” you answer honestly. There’s no use in denying that what Bucky said was stupidly hurtful. He nods, looking away from your gaze.

“It made me angry thinking that you ignored me, because at first I didn’t know what I had done, you know? And then I thought for a few months that me and Steve had been too overbearing and that you tried to keep your distance because you thought we were annoying or something. But that’s not the case. I should’ve known better by now than to think that you would do anything to purposely hurt us.”

You gulp, nodding, looking down to the floor. “I’m sorry too,” you whisper. “I didn’t know that you guys thought I had something against you until last night. Obviously, you…you know now that’s not the case,” you tell him, embracing yourself with your arms. “But last night, Bucky, I…you hurt me. I know you were angry, but saying those kind of things isn’t okay.”

“I know that. God, I know, Y/n. I’m so sorry. It was fucking childish of me, retorting to saying that Jo—“ Bucky shakes his head, hands coming up to tug at the roots of his hair. “And it felt stupid giving you that present in front of everyone, so now you think I didn’t get you anything, too, and—“

“You got me a present?”

“Yes. Of course I did, Y/n. But I saw how much Natasha had bought and that necklace Steve gave you and my gift felt stupid in comparison to that. Just didn’t want to give it to you in front of everyone,” he says, a little awkwardly. A little boy giving his mother a drawing he made in kindergarten, he reminds you of.

“Bucky…that doesn’t matter. I don’t care what you have gotten me. I’ll like it no matter what if it’s from you.”

He shifts in his place, contemplating something, before picking up a sweater on his bed, revealing a wrapped present hidden underneath. Bucky took the gift from the pile without anyone noticing before, throwing it into his room so no one would see.

With a tentative hand, he reaches it out to you. Doesn’t watch as you unwrap it, instead biting on his thumbnail. You reprimand him for it, and the hand returns to his side.

“Is it a book?” You run your fingers over the cover, a hardcover with nothing on it. Blank.

“It’s a photo album. Shit, it’s stupid. I don’t know,” Bucky answers, looking about ready to snatch it back, but you open the first page up before he has a chance to.

A picture of you, Natasha, Sam and Steve on the first page. It was taken last year in November. You’re all running after one of Sam’s model planes, fall leaves singling down from the sky. It’s a beautiful picture.

“4 grown idiots running after a kid’s toy - November 12th, 2022”

“It’s just pics I’ve taken with my phone, so it’s nothing artsy or anything, but…uhm.” Bucky runs his hand through his short, brown hair.

You flip the page. You’re looking out through the kitchen window, the sun shining through and casting shadows over the room and your figure curled up on the chair.

“Angel in the sun - March 25th, 2023”

A soft chuckle is drawn from your lips, resisting the urge to run your finger over the photo, but you don’t want to smudge the blank paper. On the same page there’s another picture of you with your arms around Natasha’s shoulders, nearly wrestling her to the ground with the force of your hug. You look so happy.

Bucky looks nervous as you glance up from the photo album at him. “Know it’s not much, but…yeah.”

A loud huff of hair escapes Bucky as you throw your arms around him. It takes a second or two for him to hug you back, but he soon has his chin resting on top of your head, arms around your waist.

“I love it,” you whisper, holding onto him tightly enough to constrict his breathing.

“You do? I can take it back if you don’t like it.”

Your grip around him releases, arms coming down to your sides so you can take a step back and look him in the eyes. “This is everything, Bucky,” you say softly, feeling a lump in your throat that can turn into tears any second. “The fact that you took the time to make this for me is just…it’s the most thoughtful thing ever. And these pictures are so beautiful, Bucky, and just the thought of you sitting down and glueing them onto the page and writing captions and—“

His lips against yours. Oh god. Oh my god, Bucky has his lips pressed against yours. Gentle hands hold your jaw, his head leaning down to compensate for the height difference, and Bucky Barnes is kissing you with urgency and desperation.

The shock is enough to make you unable to return the kiss. He seems to take your surprise as rejection despite the fact that you literally yelled ‘I love you’ in his face last night. Bucky steps away and takes his hands off your skin, running his hand over his mouth, shaking his head.

“I’m so sorry, don’t know what the hell came over me, I—“

On your tiptoes, fingers grabbing his sweatshirt to pull him closer, and you nearly smash your lips against his to shut up any of that doubt he carries. It’s not a graceful or very romantic kiss, but by the sound akin to a very mild growl that comes from Bucky and his hands sliding down to your waist to pull you closer, you guess he likes it anyway.

It doesn’t last more than 20 seconds. A harsh knock on the door to Bucky’s room interrupts it, forcing you part from his lips and get down from your tiptoes again.

“What the hell are you doing in there? C’mon! I’ve made goddamn Christmas brunch!” Sam yells, drawing a soft chuckle from your lips as your forehead meets Bucky’s chest.

With a soft smile, nothing said, you back away from Bucky. Slipping out of his room and leaving him there all flustered and semi-hard from a 20 second make-out session. The first ever between you, though. He thinks it’s pretty understandable.

As Bucky follows you into the kitchen, sitting down at the table by Steve, he leans towards his best friend and whispers into his ear low enough to make anyone else unable to hear.

“I kissed her, Stevie,” Bucky says with a shit eating grin on his face. “I finally fucking kissed her.”

The blond man turns his head enough to look over at Bucky, the red flush of his cheeks and ears enough to tell anyone what’s been said.

“Are you serious?” Steve asks.

“I kissed her and she kissed me back, I swear. I gave her that photo album I’ve worked on for weeks. She said she loved it, Steve.”

“I guess it’s my turn then, isn’t it?” Steve answers, a shy smile on his lips as the two of them watch you sit down opposite of them at the table, glancing through the window out at the heavy snowfall. Natasha puts a newly toasted bagel on your plate.

“Go get our girl, Stevie.”

#stark u #marvel fanfiction #marvel fic #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes angst #sam wilson x reader #natasha romanoff x reader

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emeraldkniight · 1 month

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Part 2 of older pls 🙏

YOUNG !

damian wayne x fem!reader

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀. . . drabble smut. porn without plot. dirty talk and fingering.

𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁. . . no copying of my work is allowed. Free translation is allowed as long as I am credited.

𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲. . . as I said in my other posts, English is not my first language. I have tried to make corrections with the translator, but as you all know, it is prone to making mistakes, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or if anything sounds weird.

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲. . . I'm so happy to give you all a part two of the first one shot I posted on this blog. Hope you like it. <3

Damian was the youngest of the family. He had grown up, but everyone still made jokes or references to being the youngest. You had the idea to join in the joke and he didn't like it. Now you were a victim of the consequences of teasing him.

He sharpened his katana from the comfortable chair in the room. He looked dangerous, not so much because he had a sharp weapon in his hands, but because of that look he always had, capable of destroying anyone.

— Are you here to continue telling jokes? — he asked.

You wondered how he could sense your presence in the vast room when your back was turned and you had not made any sound that would reveal your presence.

— I came to apologize.

He turned to look at you. Deep down, you had the idea that he knew you were only apologizing to get something from him and not so much because you were interested in keeping your relationship peaceful.

— I listen.

You walked a few steps further into the room. It was almost dark, and the sun was barely shining through the curtains, so your whole room looked almost dark.

You looked at him with an expression of redemption. Damian thought it was that victim look he always saw you with. Like a helpless little animal longing for warmth.

— I was wrong to make that joke about you, and I'm really sorry, but Damian... I need you. — You said, but were interrupted when you noticed that he had pulled you onto his hips and placed you on his lap.

He made you turn your neck until you could meet his intense green eyes. His breath collided with your face and his hands ran down your thighs until he carefully lifted your skirt, revealing your underwear.

— It was the only thing I wanted to hear, beloved.

His hands ripped off your panties in one fell swoop, leaving you with nothing to protect yourself. Even though your skirt was still on, you could feel your pussy rubbing against the scratchy fabric of his jeans.

He moved closer to you, so close that your lips could almost brush against his. He had never kissed you before, so you couldn't help but think that this was something special.

His finger slid through every crease of your already wet pussy. He sank into your wetness, sliding in as he tried to stroke you. Without thinking, he squeezed your clit, causing you to jump up and down on his lap from the shock.

— Do you like it? — he asked quietly. — Do you know how easy it was? I can make you feel so good. It's easy for me to reward those who behave.

You began to moan in his ear. It was the most beautiful sound Damian had ever heard. No matter that you were someone who liked to participate in his brothers' pranks, having you like this made him feel full.

He kissed your lips. You would never have thought that Damian's way of kissing would be so passionate and romantic, as if he was protecting you from all the evils of the world with a simple kiss. Suddenly, everything intensified and he began to take your lips with such force that it seemed he loved and hated you at the same time.

His fingers caressed your hole with barely perceptible delicacy. Going to the most pleasurable place inside you, stroking that spot inside you that could make you delirious with pleasure.

— Your apology is worthless. — He said. — You don't want to apologize to me, you just want this from me. But I have been too mean to you lately, don't you think, my beloved?

#dc comics #dc universe #damian wayne #damian wayne x female reader #damian wayne smut #smut #batboys

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palioom · 9 months

Note

Hi omg I love your work so much I’ve been following your fics every time you post I thank the twitter algorithm everyday for letting your fics get to me 🥹

if you’re taking requests could I request maybe some period sex? Any Pedro pascal character of your choice! :))

Either that or just a fic with LOTS of oral fem receiving? Up to you :))

Can’t wait for your future fics, with or without my requests 🥹

hi! thank you so much for your request! i had so much fun writing this, basically went right to work and just waited a bit to post it!! I hope you enjoy! 🖤

recommended dose of dick

summary: waking up to your period in the morning, you insist that javier still goes to work. when he comes back in the evening, having worried about you all day, he knows exactly how to help you.

pairing: javier peña x f!reader word count: 2.4k warnings: 18+ content; no use of y/n (but a lot of nicknames); period sex; period talk; descriptions of blood; unprotected p in v; fingering; javier being sweet as hell

• masterlist •

Cramps.

That’s all she woke up to, that annoying tug in her abdomen and the mild cramps that would certainly get worse as the sun rose higher.

Honestly, she had been expecting it. That weird feeling in her stomach had been bothering her for days now, her breasts had suddenly started to hurt, too.

Still, she couldn’t quite stop herself from snapping at Javier when he woke up in the morning, already finding her in the kitchen, sipping her coffee. Slightly hunched over, a hot-water bottle pressed against her stomach despite the sweltering Colombian heat.

He knew immediately what plagued her, kissing the top of her head as he walked up to her, hearing her grumpy hum.

“Want me to stay home, cariño?” He asked, brushing his knuckles over her cheek. She looked tired and fucking exhausted, worse than he did sometimes after a long chase.

Javier wouldn’t even try to say he understood her pain, because he truly did not. What he knew was that it hurt like hell and not even painkillers seemed to help in the first couple of days. Not for her, at least.

“How’re they gonna catch Escobar if you’re not there?” She responded, looking at him as he poured himself his own cup of coffee. “I think I’ll call in today but you go to work or Escobar is gonna be the least of your worries.”

A small laugh escaped her as she said that, regretting it as a sharp pain shot through her.

He just smiled a little, drinking his coffee.

“You’re not scaring anybody like this, cariño.” He replied, chuckling into his cup as she shot daggers at him over the rim of hers.

All day he spent thinking about her, wondering if she was holding up alright every free minute he got. Javier knew she was tough, she would make it through the day without him somehow.

But he was worried about how she felt. Some months were worse than others, and it ranged from some cramps and back pain to feeling dizzy and sick and barely being able to move.

So once he got off work, later than he had expected to, he drove straight home, taking the chocolates he had picked up before work with him.

She loved them when she was on her period, said it brought her some relief, as long as she didn’t eat too much at once. It was the least he could do for her.

At least in a non-physical way.

Smiling when he walked into their shared apartment, setting the sweets down before finding her curled up in bed, blanket pulled up to her chin despite the heat, eyes closed but not sleeping.

Javier’s heart broke a little, seeing her like this. Hated to see her in pain, tired and exhausted.

Maybe he could help her a little.

Kneeling down in front of her, he brushed some hair out of her face, letting the rough pads of his fingers trace over her temple and down to her jaw. Taking in just how tired she looked, but also how beautiful.

Always so goddamn beautiful, no matter what.

Her eyes opened, bleary as she squinted at him, the smallest smile tugging at the corners of her pretty lips.

“Hey.”

He chuckled softly, thumb brushing over her cheekbone.

“Hey, cariño.” Voice quiet as he spoke, he leaned forward to kiss her forehead, lingering for just a few seconds longer than he usually would. “Still bad?”

She nodded and hummed before she sighed, freeing one arm of her loose cocoon of blankets and reaching out to brush some of his dark hair back, letting her fingernails run along his scalp.

“Been trying to sleep all day ‘cause nothing helps, but I can’t even sleep.”

He wished he had stayed home with her, then he at least could have tried to help her. Even if it was only to bring her things, to cuddle with her.

But as she had said, Escobar would have been nothing compared to her if he had stayed.

“Got an idea how to help the cramps and tire you out.” He said, smirking just a little.

As her brows knit together in confusion, he let out a soft laugh.

It took her a moment too long to realize what he meant, rolling her eyes with a smile as she did.

“God, Javi.”

“Took you long enough to get.” He grinned, thumb still brushing over her cheek. So soft and warm, her soft smile making her cheeks appear so much bigger, making her look adorable. “What do you say, mhm?”

Leaning in, he slotted his lips against hers, hand moving to pull back the blanket she had wrapped herself in. The smallest hum left her, letting him continue as he rolled her onto her back by her shoulder, deepening the kiss as he went.

She immediately felt a different kind of pressure in her abdomen, moaning when his hand dipped into her tank top and squeezed her sensitive breast.

It was like a switch had been flipped, needing nothing more than him between her thighs and his cock inside of her, eternally thankful that he was so nonchalant about the mess of it all.

When he pulled back and got up, she looked up at him confused.

“Just a moment, cariño.” He said, leaving the room.

There was the sound of cabinets opening and closing, then he was back already, towels in hand and having shedded his jacket now.

She laughed when he threw the towels into the bed next to her before climbing on top of her, the pain that followed after making her grunt softly.

“Looks like you really need some relief, querida.” He chuckled, starting to take off her top. Rough, broad hands roamed over the warm and exposed skin before moving to work on her sweatpants next.

“Can’t wait for my recommended dose of dick, guaranteed to relieve any period cramps.” She joked, the smile that graced her pretty face so stunning, even despite the pain she was in. “Been waiting all day for you to deliver it to me.”

“You told me to go to work, querida.” He said, hooking his fingers under the waistband and pulling them down slowly. “Could’ve had it a lot sooner.”

She rolled her eyes, pulling him down to her by the collar of his shirt, kissing him. He felt so warm against her, his hands wandering down to lay over her lower abdomen, right where he knew it hurt the most.

Like it usually did, his hands were almost better than any hot-water bottle when he placed them there.

It brought her some relief, sighing into his mouth as her hands worked on the button of his too tight jeans, needing him desperately.

His hands just never were enough.

She peeled the denim off of him with his help and his shirt followed next, leaving him only in his boxers.

When she gently palmed him, he stopped for just a moment with a soft groan, making her chuckle.

“Fuck, cariño.”

Javier let her continue for a few more seconds before remembering he was supposed to help her, not have her do this to him.

So he moved her hand away, sitting back on his haunches before grabbing the towel. She lifted her hips without a word, biting her lip as he placed it beneath her, then moving to pull off her panties.

She felt so exposed, like every time they did this, even though it was far from the first time he had fucked her like this, his thick fingers already brushing over the inside of her thighs before finding her lips. Pressing two fingers against her sensitive clit, he watched how she squirmed, took in her throaty hum that turned into a drawn out moan.

“Javier, please-” She moaned, rolling her hips against his fingers, her own twisting into the sheets.

Pressure already building as he gently pressed against the swollen bud, knowing she needed more than this, letting them slip lower to her aching hole.

He pressed one inside, slowly, her body tensing for a moment before relaxing into the mattress below her, his thick finger slowly opening her up, stroking along her most sensitive spots and making her whine.

Eyes closing when he added a second one, pumping in and out of her, curling them into that soft spot that made her see stars, arching her back.

“How’s that feel?” Javier asked, curling his fingers repeatedly until her thighs started shaking and her sounds became breathier, then stopped the motion.

Even like this he couldn’t stop teasing her.

“Feel’s good- fuck, but I need you Javi, please, baby.” She whined, opening her eyes to peer at him, the pressure inside her unbearable as her pain slowly became secondary. “Stop being mean.”

“Mean?” He echoed her statement with a grin, once again curling his fingers over and over, feeling her get closer, hips bucking up and into his motions.

Her orgasm hit her faster than she thought it would, moaning as she contracted around him, coating his hand with her blood, the slick sounds echoing between them as he kept working his fingers inside of her.

“That’s my pretty girl, there you go. Just like that, cariño.”

Pushing her through every last wave as she hummed and moaned and whined, visibly relaxing already as the cramps eased slowly.

But she needed more, reaching for his wrist to make him pull back, seeing his fingers covered in her blood and feeling her face grow hotter at the sight.

There would always be something forbidden about this, like he wasn’t supposed to do this and like she wasn’t supposed to like this as much as she did.

She was happy that he didn’t mind the blood or the mess, wiping it onto the towel before moving to take his boxers off.

Visibly liking this a little too much as well, his hard length pulsing as he hovered over her, hand caressing her neck while he kissed her.

“Getting better?” Javier asked, notching himself against her slick entrance, her legs falling open just a little more.

She hummed in affirmation, smiling. “Still need my recommended dose of dick.”

He chuckled, bending his head to kiss her sternum, his mustache tickling her hot, sensitive skin.

“Yeah, I’ll give you that, don’t worry.” Javier said, slowly pressing inside, groaning against her skin.

Her fingers threaded into his hair, moaning at the feeling of him splitting her open slowly, inch by inch.

It still hurt, but in a strangely good way, feeling just a little uncomfortable as he stilled to give her time, so sensitive.

His mouth made its way up her neck, nipping at her skin as he went, feeling the vibrations of her hums in her throat. Slowly higher up until he found her lips, kissing her so hard it made her dizzy, his hips slowly beginning to rock back and forth.

Her moan was swallowed by his mouth, his tongue finding hers as he pushed back into her, the wet squelch of her pussy only spurring him on.

Over and over, her hands tracing over his broad back, back arching up into her as he kept hitting that spot inside of her, slowly becoming faster as he kept building her up, the pain shrinking down into a mild annoyance at this point.

His body felt heavenly against hers, so warm and solid, feeling his muscles flex and tense, pressing her deeper into the mattress.

“Javi, gonna come-” She choked out as his lips left hers to nip and suck at her neck again, leaving her no time until she tightened around him a second time, whining against his shoulder as her body tensed up.

Wave after wave setting her veins on fire, pushing the pain further away, finally having some peace for the first time today.

“Like that, fuck- Feels good, baby!” She mumbled into his skin as he gradually lost his rhythm, thrusts becoming sloppier.

“There you are, hermosa, fucking pretty girl- Fuck!”

His teeth sank into her neck as he came, pressing himself deep inside of her, the pulsing of her slick pussy drawing him in deeper.

Feeling so tight around him, happy as he noticed her relax underneath him, trembling just a little at the sensation.

He stayed buried inside of her for a while as they caught their breaths, soothing the bite he left, his rough hands smoothing over her hips as he did.

“Dose of dick effective?” Lifting his head to look at her, he caught her smile, drowsy and lopsided.

“Very effective.” She chuckled, cupping his cheeks with her hands, brushing her thumbs over his cheeks. “You’re the best, Javi.”

He hummed, pressing another kiss to her lips before he kissed her forehead, then pulled out of her slowly.

It was amazing how nothing could help but him fucking into her, her cramps gone for the time being.

“Magic dick.” She giggled as he got up to get a wet washcloth to clean them both up, making him laugh as he nudged her knee.

That deep laugh she didn’t get to hear as often as she would like to, his head always elsewhere, occupied with work.

“You need sleep, hermosa.” He said when he was back, already cleaned up himself and now wiping the warm, wet rag along her inner thighs and over her middle. Removing all the blood as carefully as he could. “You should be able to now.”

Finished with his task, he brought the rag back to the bathroom to be cleaned tomorrow.

If she hadn’t been so damn tired he would have dragged her off into a shower, but she was already dozing off as he came back to her, climbing into bed.

Looking so beautiful like this, eyes barely open to look at him, small smile on her face.

He pulled her against him, mindful of the towel, kissing her forehead.

“Maybe you can stay home tomorrow.” She mumbled, eyes drifting shut, feeling incredibly at ease now, slumped against his body. “Give me more of that magic dick.”

He chuckled, shaking his head slightly. His hand smoothed over her back, up and down along her spine.

“Sleep, we’ll see about getting you a dose in the morning.”

Her laugh was nothing more than a sharp exhale through her nose before she dozed off, her face finally relaxed and peaceful.

He doubted he could stay home with all that was going on now, but there would certainly be time for a morning dose before he had to leave her.

#javier peña #javier peña x you #javier peña imagine #javier peña x reader #narcos #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro pascal imagine #my writing #written from the perspective of someone with endo :)#hope it's still enjoyable #request #thank you so much for this! it was so fun!!

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