#and the millions of hearts that you have touched including mine. thank you .. i hope you sleep well 🌙☁️

[kim-woonhak]

이젠 내게 기대 편히 쉬어도 돼 // Now you can lean on me and rest in peace 소중한 널 내 품속에 꼭 안을게 // I will hold you dear in my arms

#moonbin #moon bin #astro #*ambiv.art #here is my gift to you dear moonbin... to celebrate the joy you brought to your fans both on and off stage #and the millions of hearts that you have touched including mine. thank you .. i hope you sleep well 🌙☁️ #tonight is especially dark because there's a new moon in the sky....i knew this in my bones without even looking outside or checking online #(but i did anyways. and then i looked up that other date and it was the same...💔) #to everyone who sees this... i'm hugging you firmly 💞 please take care. it's lame but drink lots of water it really does help 🥺 #caption is lyrics from sanha's solo Wish ☹️🫶 #*1k #*2k #*3k

[onewithnomightypowers]

Old Habits

pairing: Tom Holland x fem!reader

summary: Old habits come back when you meet an ex lover after a long time. Conversations feel like you never stopped talking to them. Sometimes you have to see them one last time to say goodbye like you mean it but most of the time it doesn’t go as planned.

warning: drinking

words: 2.1k

a/n: could be read as part 2 of last kiss but is a stand alone. got a bit poetic at the end. hope you guys like it. and as always, love reading your opinions/reactions. also asks are open. (gif not mine)

masterlist 

'@tomholland2013 posted a story'

'@tomholland2013 posted a story'

 She picked up her phone to open Instagram. Yes, Y/N still had notifications on for his account even after they were broken up for months. Classic Tom. 

 He posted two of the same picture on his story. No one understood how that would happen almost every time, not even the people working at Instagram to whom they contacted about the glitch.

 Tom had his hair slicked back, standing in a white t-shirt next to Harry, his brother, giving a million-dollar smile. They were holding a clapperboard together. There was text on the picture too, 'day 1 let's go!!' She smiled to herself. Just because they weren't together doesn't mean that she wasn't allowed to feel happy for his achievements. Even though she wishes to know all these big things from Tom himself she is, unfortunately, left here, watching a small part of his life flash in front of her for less than thirty seconds.

 "Are you listening?" Hope, Y/N's date said.

 "Yeah, I'm sorry. You were saying?" Y/N placed the phone back where it was resting, next to the cold wine bottle.

 "You seem distant," they said.

 When she 'met' Hope (she only really met them 30 minutes ago), Y/N wasn't looking for love, just sex, and that is what online dating specializes in. She hoped Hope knew what they were signing up for, sexual intimacy and nothing else.

 "It doesn't matter does, does it? We both know what we are here for. Why not just cut the chase," Y/N replied.

--

It was early in the morning, the sun had yet to shine in its full glory. Y/N could only think of the first time she stayed over at Tom's old apartment but then she turned her head only to find Hope's naked body next to her. Her heartbeat accelerated with the realization that he was not hers anymore. Being in a foreign environment didn't help her growing anxiety, twisting and turning her intestines.

 It's been four months, her feelings for Tom refuse to quit on her because she knows she could never quit on them, on him, even if he has. He probably has already found someone else in Canada, she thought. She didn't want him anymore but she still needed him, one last time just to teach her stupid heart how to say goodbye.

 Y/N wore her clothes and picked up her shoes, going on a trail to find Hope's door to get out before they wake up. Climbing down the stairs, she took out her phone from the back pocket of her jeans.

 '5 new messages from Sam' 7 hours ago

Sam: hey

Sam: ik it's late

Sam: I am going for a run tmr morning @6

Sam: do you wanna come?

Sam: will go to the new coffee house near my house after that

 Y/N texted him back

Y/N: I'll meet you at the coffee place

Sam: come fast. already here

--

Sam and Y/N were standing in the queue to place their orders. “You look especially shitty today,” Sam said, running his right hand through his sweaty hair.

“I haven’t been home yet,” Y/N reasoned her appearance.

 His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape. The person in front of them left the queue, they moved towards the counter. “One hazelnut latte, double shot with skimmed milk,” Y/N gave her order.

 “And you?” the cashier’s question directed to Sam.

 “I’ll have a matcha latte with oat milk”

 Sam turned to Y/N, “Harrison got me on matcha, and now I can’t go back to coffee”

 They paid their dues and moved over to the barista counter to collect their order.

 “So, what were you doing last night?” Sam inquired.

 “I was on a date, it isn't a big deal though. Just had some needs to take care of”

 “Oh, was it any good?”

 “It was fine. I was distracted the whole time. Saw Tom’s story about halfway into the bottle of merlot. Couldn’t stop thinking about him”

 “Seems…sad. But you know Tom is coming back for the Christmas weekend, I think. He might attend Harrison’s Christmas eve party”

 “One hazelnut latte and one matcha latte,” someone behind the counter screamed.

 “That’s us,” Sam raised his voice.

--

Harrison had a bucket inside his house, under a sign that said 'drop your tracking devices here' with an arrow pointing to the bucket. Y/N dropped her phone on a pile of roughly fourteen others. Debating whether to see Tom's face was something she wanted or not made her late and not very fashionably.

 The house was decorated with empty liquor bottles along with red and green streamers from one wall to another. Everyone was drunk in their best dress. There were no signs of Tom yet. Y/N took a deep breath, walking towards the kitchen to get herself some liquid courage to help her socialize.

 The kitchen was rather scarcely populated. Empty glasses were lined up next to the sink. Are they clean or used? Bending down, Y/N opened the refrigerator to see if Harrison had any chilled wine. No luck. "Hey," a familiar voice was heard.

 She looked up at the familiar stranger.

 "Hey Tom," she smiled. The refrigerator light falling on Y/N made her blush visible.

She grabbed a half-cut lemon placed in the egg tray.

 “How have you been?" Tom asked leaning back on the kitchen counter, observing her movements.

 Y/N walked towards the sink to grab herself a crystal glass hoping for it to be clean. "Just busy with work these days"

 "I heard you got a job at Condé Nast, is that true?" he took a sip from his beer.

 "Well, you heard right. You are looking at their new senior brand manager for digital", she said proudly.

 Tom hugged her from the side she was holding a knife to cut the lemon for her gin and tonic. "That's great darling! You always wanted to work there"

 Darling. The butterflies in her stomach were fluttering like the first time she met Tom.

 "I saw your story the other day. You started filming your script, right?" she dropped the lemon in the glass.  

 "Yup, it was a long time coming," he grabbed the knife she was using and washed it without even knowing. He was so used to Y/N never washing utensils after using them and, he would always have to clean up after her.

 "Congrats on that babe!" The word 'babe' just slipped out of practice.

 Y/N grabbed a Bombay Sapphire standing still on the marble slab. The blue of the bottle shinning even in the dim-lit room.

 "I missed you," Y/N made eye contact, screwing the cap back on. A long, silent pause.

 I miss you too, so very much

 She cleared her throat, "so, how long are you staying?"

 "Going back Monday morning"

 She opened a can of tonic water.

 "Are you seeing someone?" Tom asked.

 "Wouldn't you wanna know" a smirk on her face grew. "I've been out on few dates, nothing serious. What about you?"

 "Met this girl online, dated for a bit but, she wanted something I couldn't give to her"

 Y/N scoffed, "did she have a foot fetish or something?"

 "No, Y/N. She wanted love, not my feet" they both laughed.

 "On that topic..." Tom calmed himself, "...I was listening to this song a few weeks ago and, there was this line, 'the smell of your hair reminds me of her feet' and it made me think of you"

 "I reckon," she took a sip of her gin and tonic.

 "No, seriously, I really related to that line. No matter how many people I hook up with, it will be hard to find the type of intimacy I shared with you. I still relate to it"

 "I hate going on walks alone and having faceless dreams," Y/N blurted, lacking a proper reaction.

 "You're still the face of all my fantasies," Tom confessed.

 None of them knew what to say next. Anything they thought of saying now included walking over the blurry line of exes to lovers.

 "You look pretty"

 "Classic me, had a glow up after getting my heartbroken"

 "You always looked this pretty. You are beautiful," Tom assured her. The 'heartbroken part did not sit well with him. He already felt guilty for taking a job across the pond which was a great opportunity for him to grow but was only possible by severing his ties with Y/N.  

 --

It had just started snowing on Boxing Day. Tom was alone in his cold home, boiling a pot of ramen noodles. He took out his phone and snapped a picture of the burning stove with the pot on top.

Tom: *attached photo*

Tom: I come back after months and my family leaves me alone with no food

Y/N: you should add a poached egg

Tom: Thanks. I shall.

Tom: I think I made too much ramen for me

Tom: do you wanna come over and share?

 Her indecision was visible by the coming and going of the gray dots. Then finally, Tom could tame his anxiety by her simple reply.

 Y/N: sure.

--

There was a loud knock on the door. Tom put two bowls of hot ramen on the dining table and went to open the door. Behind the door, Y/N was standing with her hands inside her brown checker coat. There was dust of snow sitting on her shoulders. Her braided hair was made by the most anxious hands in town.

 The door opened and, Tom’s hands flew to take Y/N in his arms. They hugged like little kids hug their parents after being away from each other, for them, an eternity. It did feel like an eternity to them too but, they hadn’t forgotten each other’s touch.

 “I parked my car at the church, couldn’t find any spot here ‘cause of the snow," she pulled out.

 “The snow seems to be gaining momentum.”

 Y/N hummed in agreement. She took off her coat and hung it in the Holland’s coat closet.

 “Come on, the ramen is getting cold,” she followed tom into the kitchen.

 They sat adjacent on the wooden table in comfortable silence. Tom used chopsticks and, Y/N used a fork. Only the occasional noodles falling in the broth were heard, along with the gushing of wind.

 “It’s really spicy for me,” Tom said.

 “Yeah, I can see your ears turning red.”

She still remembers 

 Y/N raised her hand to cover her mouth while yawning.

 “Since you made the food, I’ll do the dishes,” she got up, grabbed their bowls, and walked over to the sink.

 Wearing the gloves, she turned to Tom, “it was quite tasty”.

 Tom gave her a smile.

 She spread the soap on the dishes and turned the tap on. Tom pushed his chair back to get up.

 “Have you made any friends at your new job,” he jumped and sat on the counter next to Y/N.

 “Yeah, sort of. Kyara works there too so, I have just made her friends my friends,” she washed his chopsticks.

 “That’s good. Have you talked to Emily after the wedding? She told me they are planning on adopting.”

 “They invited me over for dinner when they got the approval from the agency. Kyara made this amazing Hyderabadi biryani, it was her mum’s recipe so, it was obviously better than the restaurant”

 “God! You and your love for Indian food”

 Y/N removed her gloves, “I should go. Thanks for the ramen, by the way”

 “Are you sure you can go out in this weather?”

 “Yeah I think," she started walking out of the kitchen.

 Tom grabbed her hand. “Stay”, his voice was like cotton.

 Y/N turned and made contact with his pleading eyes. She moved closer to him. “Please”, he said. They both were inching in to lock their desperate lips.

--

Y/N did not notice when she had fallen asleep talking to Tom. Their naked bodies were covered by the white comforter. Her eyes slowly opened to a boy with brown eyes and messy hair looking at her.

 “I like it when you sleep. I love watching you sleep”

 She chuckled. “That’s a bit creepy, don’t you think?” She had a sleepy voice.

 “You look so serene, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I could stare at you for eons”

 “But love, I'm only here till the snow settles,” she caressed his cheeks.

“Then the cold shall frost our limbs," he leaned in to kiss her.

tags: @elios-timotea​

#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #spiderman #marvel fanfiction #marvel #spiderman x reader #spiderman x y/n #spider man #spiderman x you

[wrenhyperfixates]

The Raven Haired Rebel

Chapter 4

Pairing: Loki x reader Series Summary: After invading New York, it was decided that, as a punishment, Loki would work for SHIELD. Yeah, right. After escaping from their custody and stranded on Midgard, the God of Mischief decides to prove he’s the one thing no one ever thought he was: the good guy. Now a vigilante, Loki attempts to make amends for his past wrongdoings while also evading the Avengers, including their newest member. You. Brought in specially for the case, you notice more and more details about the prince’s story don’t add up. When you get the chance to turn him in, will you listen to your employers or your heart that believes Loki’s done nothing wrong? Chapter Summary: In which Loki and you make a breakthrough. Chapter Warnings: none I believe A/N: Happy reading folks :)

Permanent Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedficrecs @lunarmoon8 @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @lowkeyorlokificrecs @gaitwae @whatafuckingdumbass @castiels-majestic-wings @kozkaboi @cozy-the-overlord @birdgirl90​ @myraiswack​ @mythicalgarlicknot​ @what-a-flammable-heart @marvelouslovely​ @laurenandloki​ @fallinallinmendes​ @sophlubbwriting​ @mooncat163​ @lokislittlesigyn​

RHR Tag List: @happygalaxymilkshake​ @electroma89​ @stardust-walker​ @i-would-kneel-for-loki​ @fredweasleyandlokiaremylife​ @aestheticallyholland​

Masterlist 

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

Loki had insisted on moving again before your team got to work. The team, of course, was really just you and him, but he liked the sound of it. Of having a whole little group to belong to. But, in reality, he didn’t. He had you, at least, and that was enough for now. Quite possibly for forever, if he were to be honest. After all, everyone always says it's better to have one true friend than a million who don’t care for you at all. Growing up, he’d had plenty of sycophants attach themselves to his hip, only to ignore him once they got close with Thor. That was before everyone decided Loki wasn’t even worth their time. The lonely, brooding sorcerer prince of Asgard deemed too unimportant to even use as a gateway to greater things.

You, however, were different; Loki could tell. Truly, you had nothing to gain and everything to lose by aligning yourself with him. Yet there you were, listening with rapt attention and big eyes, clinging to his every word. That was why his latest choice of motel was nicer than the previous one. He felt like you deserved it. The fact that there was only one bed was not his doing, he swore on his life. Alas, that was all that was available. He’d offered to take the floor so you could have it to yourself, but you insisted on sharing. And with all your stubbornness, who was he to resist?

Now, that’s not to say there weren’t problems with the set-up because there most certainly were. Like the fact that on the first night, despite falling asleep with his back toward you, he woke up facing you, an arm lazily wrapped around your waist. He could tell your sleep was feigned, an act he assumed was out of consideration for him so he wouldn’t be embarrassed. He’d whipped his arm away as quick as he could, rolling onto his back, the act making you open your eyes and blink innocently at him.

“You know,” you’d said, sleep still in the edges of your voice. “I really didn’t mind.”

“Thank you,” he’d cleared his throat. “But you do not have to say that just for my sake.”

You’d splayed a hand on his chest and leaned your body over his, making his heart stutter in his chest. “I’m not. I mean it.”

Before he could think of some reply- which with the way things were going, honestly could have been kissing you—you moved away from him. He laid there for a bit longer as you fixed yourself a breakfast of cereal. You put together a bowl for him, too, leaving it on his nightstand. Even that he did not touch for a bit, too lost in thought. He hadn’t been in touch with his emotions for quite some time. Now when he needed to most, he hoped he could be again.

Whether he understood his feelings or not, he stopped pulling away in the mornings. Because, yes, without fail, every time he woke up his arm was around you. You kept snuggling closer every night too; just that day he’d woken up to your head resting on his shoulder. He’d adjusted his haphazard grip on your body to hold you closer, tighter. It was a secure little bubble for the two of you to relish in, away from all the troubles of the world. How Loki wished he never had to leave it. Sadly, there was work to be done.

Currently, you were trying to find AIM’s secret headquarters. Loki was flipping through the files of intel he’d compiled, and you were tapping away on that computer device you had. You’d tried to explain how to use it, but it was lost on Loki. He promised to try again once you had more time. Which was odd, he thought, that you’d want to stick around him even after all this was over.

He wasn’t even exactly sure what he was going to do once his name was cleared. He didn’t particularly want to join SHIELD, though he felt that’s what you had in mind. So even if he didn’t agree to becoming the other half to a top secret crime fighting duo with you, would you still want to stay with him? What if he wanted to keep up this rebel, vigilante lifestyle? Would you keep traveling with him? He was pretty sure he’d miss you if you didn’t.

One thing he wouldn’t miss, however, was the fact you decided to put the TV on. The incessant blathering coming from the screen was beginning to annoy him. He’d tolerated it the whole week you’d spent together, but it was really getting on his last nerve now.

“Darling? Would you mind turning that off?” he asked.

“Do I have to?” you pouted. “I think better with the background noise.”

He walked over to the counter you were sitting on, going to grab the remote. You picked it up before he could and held it above your head so he couldn’t reach it. Unfortunately, even with the boost your perch on the countertop provided, he was devastatingly tall. You tried moving it back behind you a bit, too, but after a quick struggle, he seized it from your grasp with a smirk, hitting the power button.

“So some music then?” you asked with a grin.

“How about some peace and quiet?” he chuckled.

You playfully sighed. “Only for you.”

He hadn’t realized it during your little game, but he was standing between your legs so that they were wrapped around him a little. He knew it should have been oh so easy just to move away, yet he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Your fingers began to run through his hair as he stood there, the tenderness startling him.

“What are you doing?” he puzzled when you stopped for a minute, only to start massaging his scalp.

“You seem stressed,” you shrugged, hesitating for a moment but ultimately deciding to continue. “Is this alright?”

“Yes,” he sighed in relief as he allowed tension to leave his body. “It is perfect.”

When you finished, ending by smoothing his mussed hair back down, he rested his head on your shoulder, eyes hidden in the crook of your neck. His arms wrapped around your waist and you held him back, contentedly humming your approval. It was dangerous that he felt so attached to you, he thought. He was also surprisingly worried for you, but he could write that off in his mind as he felt like he was in your debt, something he didn’t like being in to anyone. The only way he felt certain he could repay it was by keeping you safe.

“Are you certain they will not find us, darling?” he checked. “That we should not move again?”

“We’re practically hiding in plain sight, and we haven’t really been out of this room in a week. We’ll be alright,” you assured him.

“Ok,” he acquiesced, though he was ready to protect you at any cost. His clever little darling mortal. But before he could analyze what all that really meant, something else occurred to him. “Wait a minute, that is it! Hiding in plain sight.”

You cocked your head at him as he pulled away a bit so he could look at you. “You mean... AIM is hiding in plain sight. Of course! Why didn’t we think of that sooner?”

“Well, it is just an idea. After all, we have checked their active facilities and found no suspicious activity there.”

“Good point,” you mused, going back to your computer. “But what about a site that’s not up and running yet?”

Loki looked on at the screen as you ran a few algorithms. He must admit, he was rather impressed as you quickly narrowed the options down location by location until only one was left.

“Here,” you said, turning the device so he could see it easier. “A new facility they’ve been ‘remodeling’ to make it the latest branch. But look when they bought it and started renovations; just a little over three months ago.”

“Which corresponds with the spike in their activity,” Loki caught on to your point. He took your hand and led you over to the bed where his files were laid out. “Hold on, I know I have a history of their transactions somewhere... Aha! Here, look; they have not bought very many items with which to refurbish a new building. Plus, those are not any of their usual contractors.”

“So that’s it then. That’s their base,” you said with a bubbling excitement. “So now we just have to get in.”

“No offense, darling, but are you sure you are up for it?”

“Yes,” you glared. “Besides, look at this. They’re ‘hiring.’”

Well, you were determined and clever, Loki had to give you that. The only problem being AIM was too. They were pretty good at keeping up a front, and he somehow had a feeling something would go terribly wrong. Still, some kind of backup would be nice. He didn’t want to hurt your feelings either. Norns, he really was going soft for you.

“Alright. So we go in for an interview and then sneak off to where they conduct their more unsavory business. But if we are going to clear my name, we have to let SHIELD know too,” he thought out loud.

“Easy,” you replied. “I’ll ping them our location once we get there. They’ll ship out immediately.”

“True,” he said, though he wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of letting them know where he was, let alone where you were. However, he didn’t really see many other viable options. “Then I suppose we should set to work, darling.”

You were able to get interviews for that Wednesday, just a mere three days away. Loki had noticed a disclaimer at the bottom of the form that said you may be offered a job at a different location. How very clever of them, he thought, to multitask like that, keeping up a front and expanding their company at the same time. Then again, he felt like it wasn’t the smartest idea to let anyone into a place where you were cooking a nefarious plot. That’s what happened when people got secure in what they did, though. They got lazy.

Regardless, about twelve hours later, you were off to California for your appointments, hoping the cover of night would make it harder to track you. As the sun rose on your car driving along the interstate, Loki broke the comfortable silence that had settled between you, ready to say what had been on his mind for the past several miles.

“You know that if something goes awry, we will not be able to save the other, right?” he began. “It will jeopardize the mission.”

“I know,” you replied. “We have to focus on taking them down. It’s not like SHIELD will be particularly happy with me either if we fail.”

“Yes, well, I thought it was worth mentioning. I am glad we are in agreement.”

After a few more minutes of silence, you spoke again. “Hey, Loki?”

“Yes, darling?”

“I think I’m falling for you.”

“Then,” he answered, turning his head to look out the window in order to hide his blush. He wished he could say it as bluntly as you had, but his nerves made him settle for a slightly veiled confession. “I am glad we are in agreement about that too.”

#loki x reader #loki x you #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki #mcu loki #loki fluff #fluff #loki angst #angst #reader insert #gender netural reader #loki multichapter #marvel #mcu #marvel reader insert #marvel fanfiction #loki fanfic #mcu reader insert #enemies to friends to lovers #mutual pining #friends to lovers #enemies to lovers #loki friggason #loki friggason x reader #loki laufeyson x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki x y/n #endgame timeline

[giggles-and-freckles]

Okay woohoo some fic recs incoming!!!! These will probably be all over the place, but I’ve just got to scream about them for a second!!! PS gonna try to do these more frequently because this is fun!!!

Click below the cut if you dare!

Declarations by Nny11

Summary: A series exploring Obi-Wan and Ahsoka's relationship as Grandmaster and Grandpadawan.

Okay, so this is one of the first fics I can genuinely remember reading with a heavy emphasis on the relationship between Obi-Wan and Ahsoka where I was like 'hey oh my god I love them?’ It was a monumental moment for me because now I am so obscenely ride or die for them and I truly do think back to this fic often with utter fondness. 

A moment I loved: 

“From a certain point of view,” he finally conceded, motioning her to start again. “At least I know you’ve learned something from me!”

“Well I couldn’t learn the secrets of your hair routine!”

the flood comes rushing in by @kenobilovebot

Summary: "I have done this for you. I have put you first." Or, Anakin finds out.

A little bit of sith!Obi-Wan? As a treat? Hm, well...all right!!!!! I don’t want to say too much here because I would really prefer you read it than read any more of my mindless babbling but–it’s good.

A moment I loved: 

He can hardly think around the smothering darkness that has so wholly encompassed his master, so effectively destroying the light that has always been. He’s always been able to reach for it at the worst of times. Now he can’t feel it at all.

a time to say goodbye by Sokaless

Summary: Ezra isn't the only one facing the temptation of change in the World Between Worlds. Just minutes after facing Vader, Ahsoka falls through a portal seventeen years into the past and must relive her final encounter with Anakin and Obi-Wan without drastically altering the future. But Anakin Skywalker taught her many things. How to push her luck was one of them.

This is a short and sweet time-travel fic that finds Ahsoka back in that moment in the hangar with Anakin right before they unknowingly have their last goodbye. She knows more now than she did before and struggles not to say it all. But the theme of learning from loss is really special and powerful and I feel this sad sort of closure when I finish (I say that actively because I have...read this fic several several times). Painful, poignant–all the best things.

A moment I loved:

One last thing she learned from Anakin- teaching a lesson often requires holding your student to higher standards than you hold yourself. 

With the knowledge that she’s holding him to a standard she herself might never reach, Ahsoka tells Ezra, “I’m asking you to let go.”

good morning, sun by @katierosefun​

Summary: “You look miserable.” Ahsoka dropped her hand, spun around. Obi-Wan stood behind her, one arm carrying a cloak and the other half-extended to Ahsoka. [or: After she leaves the Order, Ahsoka has one last encounter with Obi-Wan.]

Let’s see how many of Caroline’s fics I can get away with posting before someone reports me. This one-shot is full of all the good post-wrong jedi stuff. Soka and Obi have a conversation at Dex’s that hurts a lot but also feels real and I will never not respect Caroline for understanding the nuances of the disaster trios intricate and intimate relationships with each other and how they shift and mold around different circumstances. This feels so authentically them that it hurts.

A moment I loved: 

What came out instead was a small, half-choked sound.

When Obi-Wan opened his arms, Ahsoka fell right into them. “It hurts,” Ahsoka said, her voice cracking. “A lot.”

“I know,” Obi-Wan replied thickly. “We’ll take care of it.”

You Haunt All My What-Ifs by @kckenobi

Summary: But then she saw the way Obi-Wan’s lip was quivering, and his eyes were shining, and she realized— He hadn’t called because he needed to tell her. He’d called because he needed her. “Obi-Wan,” she breathed. “Oh, Obi-Wan…” And she wanted to reach out, to hold him. To be his refuge, his shelter, his home. Instead she just watched as he shook his head, palmed at his eyes, apologized. She reached out. Touched the hologram. It flickered. — [Satine and Obi-Wan—then, now, and every echo of what if between them.]

One of the first fics that got me on my Obitine grind!! Just the right mix of angst and angst to create the perfect recipe of absolute sorrow. These characters feel so real I could reach out and hug them–and oh, how I want to after this incredible little fic.

A moment I loved:

And then suddenly she was thinking of every little what if—the other paths they could’ve taken, the millions of ways they could’ve ended up here. She imagined a future where he’d stayed. She saw white weddings, crying infants, painting nursery rhymes on a pale bedroom wall. She saw herself rolling over in the middle of the night, bumping shoulders, feeling his warm breath on her face. She saw family dinners, rushed breakfasts as they hurried the kids off to school. She saw laughter. She saw a lifetime. And at the end, she saw herself old and gray, holding his hand, his eyes the last thing she’d ever see.They had arrived at the end now. But she was not old and gray.

Dying Words by @cloudyskywars

Summary: Anakin is trapped beneath a collapsed building, and has one final conversation with Obi-Wan.

One of my favourite febuwhump contributions from within the mountain of wonderful fics that the second month of the year created!! Some good ol classic Obi & Ani pain. Hint of a deathfic...but mostly just the moments leading up to it. And they...hurt. Also!!! Melanie took the care to make Anakin’s final words be about Obi-Wan, which is very special to me for the reason she includes in her author’s note.

A moment I loved:

“And,” he said, “if you ever see Ahsoka again, tell her she was the best padawan I could have asked for.” His breaths were coming in rapid pants, now, and the room was spinning out of focus. “Obi-Wan?” he asked, voice barely audible. “Yes, Padawan mine?” he responded, his own voice shaky as well. “Thank you for being my Master,” Anakin said.

i’m only me when i’m with you idiots by @renegadeontherunn

Summary: who let Obi-Wan pick the holo? and where's the remote? they might need a bigger blanket. 

[or, Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan have leave on Coruscant and holo night is the perfect excuse to all squeeze onto a couch together, bicker, and be, well, a family]

Fluff, fluff, fluff! Yes, please! My dear Fiona does a wonderful job wrapping these three up in a blanket and plopping them in front of a holo for a night of witty banter and so-cute-I-could-melt platonic cuddles. I love these three, I love this fic!

A moment I loved: 

“You met a civilized Padawan? Couldn’t have been ours.”

get home by @curse-of-men

Summary: After a mission goes wrong and Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker goes missing, it is up to Obi-Wan Kenobi and Ahsoka Tano to bring him home.

[or: a Grandmaster and a Grandpadawan go on a road trip to rescue chaos personified]

What? Me? Rec’ing another Obi-Wan and Ahsoka centric fic? HUH? Hehe, I love that Lou says this is the missing Obi & Soka arc in their author’s note because um, did they look into my heart and know that’s what I most desire? Anyway, this three-parter is incredible from start to finish and I demand you all go read it immediately. :-)

A moment I loved:

Making their way to the cockpit, Ahsoka tilts her head into Obi-Wan’s general direction and says: “You know, Master, Anakin would probably think things so far have gone excellently.” Obi-Wan returns her look and sighs.

“Now you surely must get why I am so worried about this.” Ahsoka grins and gestures back and forth in the empty space between them with one hand.

“For what it’s worth, I think we make a good enough team.”

we stand here, together by @nightdotlight​

Summary: Master Depa Billaba and Padawan Caleb Dume.

Windu worries for them, out in the wider galaxy. Waging war, while he and Anakin sit here, waiting.

But he trained Billaba, and Billaba is training Dume. Anakin once took lessons from her, when he himself was a Padawan, and he knows she is skilled enough by far, to ensure that both she and her student make it back to Coruscant safely.

It’s ironic, that when cut off from the Force he can understand other people better than he has in years.

ZOWEE!!!! This fic made me ugly cry on my conference period at school!! Ha! Another fic that culminates in, er...death. But!!!! The lead-up! Ooh, baby! The writing style of this one is also very fresh and unique which I appreciate as someone who essentially reads the same thing eight million ways (by choice, mind you!!!! and loves it every time!!!!). This is just an absolute gem of a fic. Queue: your best crying playlist.

A moment I loved: 

Depa, her Padawan braid hanging from her shoulder, hugs him around his middle and drags him to the training salles. The whole way, her laughter follows them– warm, like summer rain. Like the smallest, most ephemeral moments of happiness.

Her smile feels like a sunset on his back, and Mace smiles back even as they spar, as green and purple clash over and over again in a dance unique to teacher and student.

He does not need to reach out to know the galaxy is at peace. When they take a break from their own spar, Mace feels a light tap on his presence in the Force; when he turns, Ahsoka Tano stands there in training robes, her own Master a few paces behind– and beside him, Obi-Wan Kenobi, face lighter than it has been in years.

Her Padawan beads hang from her headdress; when she smiles at the banter behind her, turning to retort, they catch the light, and the half-formed impression of those beads torn asunder and held in gloved hand is dissipated by the glare.

Only Hope by @tessiete

Summary: The infamous "Year on the Run".In the wake of her father's death, Satine is assigned two Jedi to escort her safely back to Mandalore, but in the chaotic aftermath of a civil war, there is more at stake than one person's survival. Together, they work to unite Mandalore, overcome ancient grudges, and bring peace to a world ravaged by bloodshed.

Man, oh man, do I love a good year on the run fic! And man oh man am I loving the heck out of this one. It’s in progress so go ahead give it a bookmark and a subscription while you’re at it!!!! But the banter! The sass! The (I assume soon to come) pining! The Qui-Gon third wheeling! READ IT! Cannot recommend highly enough.

A moment I loved: 

“...and you’re bound to be hungry.”

“I assure you, I’m not.”

“Well, Obi-Wan is,” Jinn asserts. His back is to his apprentice and so he cannot see the mutinous glance which darts his way. “And as you’ve seen, he’s trouble when he isn’t fed. You have five minutes.”

Goes to Ground by jerseydevious

Summary: Obi-Wan has a question for Anakin following his experiences on Zygerria.

Silly Jedi boys trying and failing to communicate, gosh dang it!!! They get there, eventually, though. :’) Some post Zygerria angst and some tough discussions. HERE. FOR. IT. 

A moment I loved: 

“You are a bad influence, padawan mine,” Obi-Wan said. He gave Anakin that smile, the one that made Anakin feel like he shared a secret with his Master, something only for them.

In Sacrifice, Peace by @ilonga

Summary: “Shh. . .” Anakin says, gathering the younglings around him, reminding Obi-wan of all those whispered arguments where he had insisted to Anakin that yes, he was good with children, he’d be just fine teaching Ahsoka. He can almost feel the terror rising off Anakin from the hologram; Anakin doesn’t know what’s happening either. But he isn’t letting the younglings feel it. “You need to listen to me very carefully, okay? This--” his voice breaks, “--this is going to be scary. But you have to be calm, and strong. Just like Master Yoda taught you.” [Or, the ROTS au where Obi-wan finds a very different type of pain while looking through the Temple's recordings of Order 66.]

PAIN AWAITS YOU HERE! But that is exactly why you should click, kudos, comment, bookmark, and let this fic live in your head rent free like it’s living in mine. Truly couldn’t get it out of there if I wanted to! AND I DO NOT! Yet another deathfic and angst with The Team (TM). Read it, peeps.

A moment I loved: 

“And then?”Obi-wan closes his eyes, pretends he can’t feel the weight of the body in his arms, pretends it’s really Anakin he’s talking to and not some worrying coping mechanism. “And then we fight.” he says.

to hold by @katierosefun

Summary: “What—” Ahsoka looked up and, where she had expected to find a mumbling drunk, she found instead—

“Master Kenobi?” Ahsoka asked, stunned. She straightened, already swinging her backpack around herself again.

“Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan managed. He was breathing hard, just barely bent over because he was supporting, Ahsoka realized dumbly, Anakin.

Anakin, whose head was lolling against Obi-Wan’s shoulder. Whose face was two shades too pale and eyes fluttering and lips parted in a soundless groan that brought Ahsoka right back to battlefields and med bays and other places that she hadn’t been in a long, long while. [or: after leaving the Order, Ahsoka runs into some familiar faces.]

Caroline at it again with the post-wrong-jedi disaster trio angst comin’ in hot! Some platonic bed-sharing, some confused Anakin, some conflicted Ahsoka, some pained Obi-Wan. Well–strike that. They’re all in pain. But what do we expect, honestly? What do we want, honestly? Pain. We want pain.

A moment I loved: 

“Only another dream,” Obi-Wan said. He looked at Ahsoka, his face just barely shadowed. “Seems that it’s passed.”

Another. 

Ahsoka’s stomach twisted. She looked at the hand she was holding. It was strange—she couldn’t remember if she had ever actually held onto Anakin’s hand this tightly before, but now she could feel the familiar callouses, make out just the faintest of old scars. Ahsoka squeezed it once.

Not near as many as I planned to do or have saved and ready to rec, but...this already got, er...quite lengthy. So! Same time, next week! I’ll have some more! (Well, probably not same time and maybe not even next week...but soon.) 

#fic rec #how is this only thirteen fics hahahahahaha #I literally just cannot shut up #go kudos and comment and reblog their stuff PLS I beg you!

[j-j-ehlby-writes]

Is it Right? (c.e)

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Word count: 12k+ (whoops)

Summary: Your best friend is getting married and not only are you in love with him but he’s asked you to be his “Best Woman.”

Warnings: Fluff, angst (nothing new here)

A/N: I’ve been working on this since May. Don’t know how I feel about it. Let me know?

I don’t own the pictures.

My Masterlist

Today’s the day...

This is the day I have been dreading for over a year. My best friend is getting married.

Now someone might wonder why I’m dreading such a beautiful and momentous occasion. Today is supposed to be a celebration of two lives coming together as one in the most beautiful way possible. The blushing bride walks down the aisle with her father to the man of her dreams and they profess their love to one another in front of their family and friends then party until the wee hours of the morning... that would be wonderful if my friend was the bride.

Yep. I’m in love with my best friend who is the groom.

And worst of all, I’m his “best woman.“ I’m supposed to stand next to him and support him as he says “I Do” to a woman that I can’t stand. Not just because she’s with him like I’ve longed to since 9th grade, but because she’s a poisonous, insecure bitch who hates our friendship or any relationship he has with anyone that isn’t her. She’s also a gold digger. I’ve overheard her countless times saying how she can’t wait to be “rolling in the Marvel dough” when she marries him.

Oh, I forgot to mention. She’s marrying Chris Evans.

That’s right. Mr. Golden Boy. The living embodiment of Captain America himself. The flawless man who has captured the millions of hearts of many over the years, including mine. He’s tying himself to the one person in this world that I can’t stand.

I’ve supported him for years. I knew how much he loved acting and the theater in middle and high school. Before we met, I heard it all from his brother Scott since we were in the same grade. Chris was a freshman when we were in sixth grade but that didn’t matter. From the minute I met Scott, he became my best friend. The same thing happened when he introduced me to Chris. I’d be invited over to their house almost daily. We would write and put on our own skits, play video games, go bike riding, everything you could imagine. When the boys got heavily involved with theater, I was there for every performance no matter what role they played.

The Evans family was also extremely supportive with the things I did as well. They were at every choir concert, every softball game, piano recital. They were my second family. I was basically an extension of the family. My mom became close with Lisa because of how often she would have to drive me over to their house and how often they would see each other because of us. Our dads also bonded over their love of sports on Sunday’s and even started going golfing Saturday mornings. One big blended family.

But as time went on, something changed with Chris. He was always cute to me but as the years went on, he became handsome. Lingering stares and touches started happening more often, phone calls multiple times of the day just to say hi, passing notes between classes when we finally were in the same school for one year, the occasional flirty comment but it was all harmless.

Scott caught on real fast to my feelings as soon as I caught them. He was supportive but he was also protective. He knew Chris wanted to pursue acting after high school and didn’t want me to get my hopes up. I assured him that Chris more than likely didn’t feel the same way that I did so there was nothing to worry about. The “little crush” I had would fade with time...

Boy was I wrong.

It’s been over 20 years and those feelings have only grown exponentially.

Chris became hugely famous thanks to Marvel but he still remained one of my best friends. Even though both of the Evans boys left me for Hollywood, they still called or texted me daily. They invited me to their premieres as often as they could and flew me out to their sets on occasion to show me their new worlds.  They both remained humble and down-to-earth as the spotlight shone on them.

When Chris started dating the woman he’s getting married to, I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. As with everything, I had wanted to be supportive of him and his decisions no matter how much they killed me on the inside. But when we were alone for the first time, she let me know immediately that she wasn’t going anywhere and my friendship with Chris was on its way out.

Much to her dismay, he still invited me to everything. I was there for every holiday and special occasion. She was as fake as could be when she was around me and Chris never suspected a thing.

When they got engaged, she made sure to show off her ring as much as possible when I was in the room. During their engagement party was when I heard her confirm my suspicions of being a trash gold digger. I wanted to tell Chris, but I hate confrontation which is probably what would happen if she found out I told him.

Fast forward a year and here we are. Hopelessly in love with someone I can never have while the worst person I’ve ever met gets the best man I’ve ever known.

I roll over to see his sleeping form in the bed next to me.  

This was not the plan. He was supposed to spend the last night of his freedom with his groomsmen in the suite the hotel gave them. But at around 9, he knocks on my door. He’s barefoot in his plaid pajama pants and a white v-neck that just barely shows off the chest tattoos he has. He’s carrying 2 6-packs and a plastic bag full of, what I can assume is goodies. “One last sleepover for old time’s sake?” He asked with the cutest smile on his face, there was no way I could say no to him.

“I thought you wanted to spend your last night as a single man with your guys.”

“Eh,” he shrugs, pushing passed me into my room, “I can see them any time. But we haven’t had a sleepover in ages.” He sets his stuff on my bed and starts unloading everything. “And this is my last opportunity to do so.”

I close the door with a sigh. “So, where does she think you are?”

“She thinks I’m with the guys,” he turns and locks eyes with me, “and that’s how it’s going to stay.”

In other words, he’s lying to her so he can see me again. That’s been the pattern for just about the entirety of their relationship. He has had to lie to her when he wants to see me ever since he introduced us. From simple lunch dates to hanging out with his family while she’s still in LA for work, she doesn’t like when he’s around me.

One time he called me fuming. She had given him an ultimatum: Her or me. She claimed to know what was going on and wanted to put a stop to it. I foolishly talked him off the ledge and convinced him to stay with her. I compromised and said that we should take a step back from our friendship until she calms down. She doesn’t like me as much as I don’t like her. It took three weeks and five days (yes, I kept count) of no contact with each other for him to finally call me with his new philosophy of “what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” I wasn’t on board at first. I don’t like keeping secrets. However, I would do anything to see him, so I went along with it.

I inspect the bag of goodies he brought and I can’t say I’m disappointed. My favorite candy, his favorite beer, and a couple Disney DVDs that we’ve watched so much we could recite them together.

One of our favorite pastimes was watching these movies and acting them out, which includes singing to each other. I always pretended he was meaning the words he sang, especially during “One Song” and “So This is Love.” With one of his favorites being The Little Mermaid, he loved “Les Poissons” more than any other song. But he also loved sitting back and watching me climb over the side of whatever couch we were watching on for the reprise of Part of Your World. As we got older and gained the ability to drink alcohol, it became even more fun.

This time was no different. He lies on the floor after Ariel rescues Eric. I’m on my side beside him. As Ariel sings to Eric, I sing to Chris meaning every word I say. I rest my hand on his cheek as he “regains consciousness.” He’s always managed to match the look in Eric’s eyes as he looks up at me. Every single time, I’m thankful Ariel flees at that moment because then I can hide my blush. I climb over to the other side of the bed and hide until it’s time. I poke my head over the edge and see him leaning on his side of the bed, his temple resting on his hand. His eyes are soft as he watches, almost sparkling in the dim light of the hotel lamp. My heart skips as I play my part. This time I did an obnoxious off-key version of the last note. This broke some of the tension. We crack up before resuming our spots on the bed.

For a majority of the movie, we lie incredibly close to one another. We’re leaning on our elbows, our shoulders and upper arms are touching but nothing else. Our bodies are angled towards the other with our feet almost touching.

That is until his favorite song comes on and he must dance. He saunters and jumps around the bed with a bottle in his hand, clearly enjoying himself. I haven’t seen him this carefree in a very long time. He’s always tense nowadays. He attributed it to the wedding planning, but his more reserved behavior started when she came into the picture. It’s like she’s holding him back from him being who he really is. I miss that old outgoing Chris, the one who was always the life of the party.

He plops back down, placing his fourth bottle on the bedside table, readying himself for the next number. He holds his hand out when Eric and Ariel start dancing. We perfected the dance years ago, but we were a little wobbly this time, the alcohol having gotten to us already. The rehearsal dinner earlier didn’t exactly feed us a lot.

We place ourselves on the middle of the bed for my favorite scene of the movie… Kiss the Girl.

For years, we’ve acted this one out a little differently. He kisses my cheek when Eric and Ariel are about to before Flotsam and Jetsam tip the boat over. Never have I had the guts to just pull him in and kiss him. I imagined a million times doing it, but what came after that was never positive. As much as I wanted him to have a positive reaction to it, I couldn’t help but focus on the worst case scenario. That alone kept me from going forward with it. So we stuck to the chaste kiss on the cheek, same with ending of the movie.

I sit cross-legged between his open legs. He leans back on his hands until the song starts. He sings as he leans in closer. I look away and wait for his lips to connect with my cheek. When they do, they nearly connect with my lips. This is the closest he’s ever gotten to the place I’ve wanted him most. Whenever he does, it’s over as quickly as it starts. But this time, the corner of my mouth tingles where his lips linger almost afraid to pull away. I pull back slightly coming face to face with him.

His glassy blue eyes are half-lidded as he searches my expression for any sign of distress from his action. The tension between us is incredibly thick, neither of us really knowing what to do.

Well… I know what I want to do. But I could never bring myself to do it. He’s getting married tomorrow… to someone who is not me. I can’t.

“Please…” His whisper plea sends cracks through my heart. His hand caresses the back of my neck, leaning his forehead on mine.

“You’re getting married tomorrow,” was the only comeback my fuzzy, alcohol infused mind could come up with.

“I know,” he sighs, “I know.” He pulls back, defeat written all over his being. “I’m sorry,” his voice returns to his normal volume, “I shouldn’t have put you in that situation because I’m getting cold feet.”

“You’re taking a big step tomorrow. I’d be more worried about you if you weren’t nervous.” I try and shake off what could have possibly just happened. “Everyone gets cold feet at least once before their wedding.” Everyone except me that is. If it were me marrying him tomorrow, mine would be toasty warm. I would have zero doubts in my mind that marrying him would be exactly what I want. But I know this is my brain trying to convince my heart that that’s what this was. Not the actions of a man who wants to be with me… “It’s normal to seek comfort from your best friend, especially if it’s to knock some sense into you.”

“Yeah, that’s what I needed.” He slides back to lie against the pillows. I stay where I am, not sure where I should go. We sit in silence, watching the movie. We’ve never just watched this movie. Even the very first time we watched it together, we would go back and forth and sang the songs. It didn’t feel right not to, but I didn’t know if we could just go back to it after what almost happened.

“Hey,” I turn to see his arm extended, “come here.” I crawl up the bed, not needing to be asked twice. He pulls me to his chest, wrapping both arms around me. I melt into his embrace, thankful for the dissipation of awkwardness. He kisses the top of my head sighing again. We settle into a comfortable silence while we return our focus to the movie.

In no time, we’re back in the swing of things. When Eric, in his trance-like state, says “I do,” I turn to him and ask, “Is that what you’re going to be like tomorrow?”

He scoffs, “Probably.” He passes me another beer after he notices I finished my last one. I take it even though I don’t feel much like drinking anymore. I’m just tipsy enough to know I need to take some aspirin before bed. He downs his fifth one by the time Ursula takes Ariel back to the ocean. He has his sixth one in hand when he says, more to himself, “I lost her once. I’m not going to lose her again.” He tightens his hold on me, whether it was subconsciously or not I don’t know. He knows that’s one of my favorite lines from this movie. That and when he says “No, I won’t leave you” to Ariel when she tries to protect him. He’s seen me melt at Eric’s words countless times throughout the years. He knows how bad I would want a man to say those words about me and to me someday.

Ursula was inking out when I finally got up the nerve to ask him what I’ve wanted to since he knocked on my door. “Why did you really decide to spend tonight with me?”

He answers without hesitation, like he knew I was going to ask him eventually. “Because I don’t know how long it’s going to be before I see you again.” He sighs. “I can’t keep lying to her about seeing you, but I don’t want to cut you out of my life either. You’re my best friend. I just wanted one more night where we don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen after tomorrow.”

I sit up a bit to face him. “We can see each other at holidays. Three times a year is better than nothing right?” The lump in my stomach grows exponentially at the thought of only seeing him at Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I’ve never gone that long without speaking to him. That month at the beginning of their relationship was the longest we’ve ever gone without speaking and we haven’t gone that long since. He calls me daily. Daily! How am I supposed to go from talking to him every single day to three times a year?

“I don’t know if I can go that long without…” he confesses glancing over every inch of my face as if memorizing it, “seeing you,” he squeezes my side and glances at my lips, “touching you, and talking to you without having to watch what I say.”

“I’m going to ask you this because I am your best friend… are you sure you want to go through with this tomorrow?”

He takes the biggest sigh of them all before saying, “I have to. I made a promise. I have to keep it.”

That sounds like a cop-out and he knows it.

I push, “But is that the only reason you’re doing it?”

“Unless you can tell me a different one, I’m all ears.”

I open my mouth to tell him everything: to beg him not to marry her, to tell him how in love with him I am and have been since we met, to ask him to leave with me right now… but I can’t do it. The words will not form even though my brain screams at me to do so.

He watches me with a little bit of hope in his eyes, as if he’s waiting for me to say “the magic words” that will let him out of the promise he made. He even holds his breath as he waits.  

I resign with a frustrated sigh. Why am I such a chicken? Isn’t alcohol supposed to be liquid courage? Why isn’t it working? He’s practically inviting me to give him the out I want him to have and yet I can’t bring my chickenshit ass to do it.

Because it’s not just me who this would effect. It’s him, her, her family, their friends, his family who I love sometimes more than my own- everyone. It will affect everyone. And I can’t be that selfish…

“Do you love her?” I ask looking away from his hopeful eyes. But even in my peripheral, I see all of the hope he had fade. He releases the breath he held and leans his head back against the headboard.

He pauses before answering, “Yes.”

“Then that should be enough reason for you to be at the end of that aisle tomorrow.”

Ursula’s cry brings our attention back to the movie once again. We watch as she withers and sinks with the wooden ship that penetrated her abdomen. The heaviness of the situation weighs on us until we got under the covers after the movie.

I slowly reach over and run my finger gently down his soft cheek, I memorize this moment. Knowing this will be the last time I see him like this, I want to remember everything. How the sun glows around the top half of his body as if it were worshipping it, how his enviable eyelashes lay perfectly against his cheeks, how the tiniest whistle is mixed with his shallow breathing, how deliciously pink his perfect lips are... how so in love with him I am that I would rather give up my own happiness for him to have his.

I nearly pull my hand away when he grabs mine and brings it to his cheek, holding it hostage there. He sighs heavily before the whistling starts again.

I try not to look too far into the action even though my heart wants to so badly. He probably thinks it’s her hand out of habit. I let it lay there for a few minutes before I force myself to pull away.

He’s getting married today.

I brush my teeth quietly before going to the bridal suite given to us by the hotel we’re all staying at. I’m greeted by Carly and Lisa as I walk in. Shanna appears with mimosas which I gladly down and make another.

Both of Chris’s sisters know of my feelings for him. To my knowledge, Lisa doesn’t. I didn’t even have to tell Carly and Shanna. Like a real family, they just know. They each give me sympathetic looks to which I shrug off. I know they mean well but it’s not helping.

As soon as I finish with my hair and make-up, I go to find the man of the hour. Since I’m technically on his side, I should be in the groom’s suite. I was only invited in for getting my hair and make-up done. After listening to her shrill voice for all of that time, I was glad to be gone.

After I knock on the door, Scott greets me. “Finally!” He drags me in before shutting the door. “The Best Woman is here!” All attention is drawn to me thanks to that announcement. The guys who were standing in a circle each with a beer in their hand. Chris wasn’t quite fully dressed yet but he still looked like a dream. His black pants hugged his slender waist, the dress shirt wasn’t done up all the way yet, his cuffs weren’t buttoned yet and his tie was hanging undone around his neck. I had to stop myself from staring too long.

“Wow, you look...” he checks me out in the dress I picked out. It’s a floor-length black chiffon which matched the silhouette of the bridesmaids, but since I will be standing on Chris’s side, I went with the color of their tuxes. Most of the other dresses are strapless where mine has long, lace sleeves. I didn’t want to be pulling my dress up all day and night. It’s also early spring and the temperatures haven’t started their rise yet so I didn’t want to be freezing my butt off when we’re outside taking pictures. Also while the other girls were stuck in very thin high heels, I chose dress shoes with a slight thick heel to somewhat match the men. I honestly think I got the best of both worlds here. “... wow.”

“Ever the articulate one,” I tease, setting my shoes on a chair until it’s picture time.

“You’ve just never been so...” he clears his throat as if that would help.

“Thank you, Christopher.” I didn’t know if I should take that as a compliment or not. I mean I know I’m not the hottest person in the world but he has seen me with my make-up and hair done for prom once upon a time. “I’m sure you’ll look just as nice when you’ve finished getting ready.”

He whispers “Doubtful,” under his breath, shoving the hand that isn’t holding a bottle into his pocket.

“Isn’t there something you want to give her?” Scott asks Chris.

“Oh, right.” He’s jolted into action as he sets down his beer and goes over to a different chair where his tux jacket was hanging. He pulls a small wrapped box out of one of the pockets.

“Hey guys, let’s go check out the bar downstairs.” Scott rallies the rest of the gentleman out of the room leaving me and Chris all alone.

As Chris approaches me, he takes a deep breath, “As the groom, I feel obligated to get all of my attendants a gift.”

I internally cringe, knowing those weren’t his words. He probably had no idea giving gifts to his attendants was a thing before this.

“I got all of the guys cuff links but since you’re my Best Woman, I got you a little something different.” He hands me the square box then shoves his hands in his pockets.

“You didn’t have to.” I sheepishly take it and planned on opening it later but by the look on his face, I could tell he wanted me to open it right now. So I gently tore open the pretty wrapping paper and opened the box.

In it was a necklace. Simple, small black teardrop and my first name initial on a silver chain. It was beautiful and totally me.

“You picked this out?”

“Well I...” he rubs the back of his neck, slightly flustered, “yeah. I know how much you hate gaudy necklaces.”

“It’s perfect.” I couldn’t stop staring at it. He’s gotten me a lot of nice things in the past but this was by far the best. “Thank you.”

“Want me to help you put it on?”

I lift it off of the cotton inlay of the box and hand it to him. He steps behind me, securing it around my neck. His hands linger on the back of my neck for a second longer than they should have before they were gone. Just that slightest touch caused a tingle down my spine.

I mentally shake it off before turning around. I fidget with my new accessory, thanking him once more.

“I also wanted to thank you for last night.” He shoves his hand as far into his pockets as they will allow. “It was nice to have a chill night before the chaos ensues.”

“Of course. You know I’ll always be there for you.”

“It also meant a lot to me to be able to spend my last night as a single man with my favorite person.”

That causes my head to snap up. His favorite person?

I open my mouth to say something but what do I even say to that? Of course he’s my favorite person. He has been since the day we met. But how could I be his? I’d understand if he said “one of his favorites,” but those extra two words were not included in his sentence.

I quickly glance at the time to try and distract myself. Just as I see he’s about to say something I interrupt him, “We’d better go. Pictures start soon.”

He clears his throat, “uh, yeah, sure.” He strides over to the mirror, buttoning the rest of his shirt and fiddles with his bowtie that was lying limp around his neck. I watch him closely knowing he’s never been able to tie one successfully before. I hear his frustrated huffs as he just can’t quite get it right.

“You need help with your tie, don’t you?”

“Please?”

I giggle as I turn him around to face me. I glue my eyes to the task at hand, completely aware that he’s only a few inches away from me and I can feel his gaze watching me.

“Are you nervous now?” I ask trying to distract myself.

He releases a breath he was holding, “I’ve never been this nervous in my entire life.” His breaths smelt of beer. I make a mental note to give him a mint before leaving.

“You shouldn’t be.” I make the last tug on the perfect bow and retract my hands. “You were made for this role. You’ll be great.”

“Will I?”

We lock eyes. His ocean blue ones are  holding so many emotions it’s hard to keep up with them. Doubt, self-loathing, longing, confusion, a hint of sadness...

I always knew he’d be a good husband, no matter whose husband he ended up as. He was born to be a husband and a father. God he’d be an amazing father. Seeing how he cared for his younger siblings and now his niece and nephews, it’s literally the best thing I’ve ever seen. He cares so deeply for those kids. I can only imagine how outstanding of a father he will be to his own kids someday...

“I have complete faith in you.” I muster up a smile I hope is convincing enough for him. “Now hand me your cuff links. We’ll miss your wedding if you do them yourself.”

From then on, the morning was a drag. Pictures lasted a lot longer than anticipated so that put us behind schedule for the rest of the day. Typical. She’s always late for everything else, why would her wedding be any different?

After pictures with the attendants were done, we were given a late lunch of dry sandwiches and water. We all ate on the party bus while the bride and groom continued with their pictures.

“So, did you talk to him?” Scott asks as he sits next to me.

“Did you tell him?” Carly asks as well.

I look around the bus to make sure no one was paying any attention to us. I don’t want anyone overhearing. “No, I’m not going to tell him anything nor am I ever going to now.”

“You could still stop this,” Shanna chimes in quietly.

They’ve always wanted me to say something to him about how I felt. They’ve expressed to me multiple times how much they want me to officially be a part of their family and since I’m not exactly Scott’s type, Chris was my only shot. I guess they’ll just have to be okay with family-adjacent.

We arrive at the venue 20 minutes after we were supposed to be here. We all file into the room set aside for us to leave some of our belongings and wait there until the ceremony start time.

I stick closely to Scott’s side as the minutes pass. I can feel my walls starting to dwindle. Chris comes over and chats with his siblings but I can’t seem to be able to pay attention to what he was saying. At this point I can’t even bring myself to look at him. My stomach feels like it has turned to lead, my hands are shaking so badly that I have to hold on to Scott. I’m this close to losing it completely. I just hope I can make it through the ceremony...

When the wedding coordinator came in to get us in line, I wanted to run in the other direction.

How could I have agreed to stand next to him and watch him marry someone else? I may have felt a little better if he were marrying someone I liked, but that’s not the case. I’m losing him to a wench and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it now.

As we line up, Scott reaches back to squeeze my hand one more time before the processional starts. I grip my bouquet tighter and tighter as I see the next pair of attendants starts to walk. When Scott goes I take a deep breath and plaster the fakest smile I can muster because I know there’s an awfully expensive videographer and photographer watching. The maid of honor goes next, leaving me to be the last one before the witch in white.

I slowly make my way down the aisle when I see she’s far enough ahead. I glance around the crowd for my parents, hoping to find some comfort in other familiar faces. I find them in the second row behind Lisa and Bob. My mom is gripping Lisa’s hand over the back of the chair. They both have the same expression... pity.

I try and look anywhere but forward, but I fail. Seeing the man I’ve loved for over 20 years at the end of that aisle, like he was waiting for me was both the best and worst sight I’ve ever seen. I had dreamt of this day. Seeing him there waiting for me as we embark on a life together as husband and wife, to live happily ever after until the end of time. Except he wasn’t waiting for me.

His bottom lip trembles slightly as he swipes his index and thumb over his eyes, sniffling loudly before exhaling. I have to bite my lip to stop my own from quivering, needing to look away before I have a full-on breakdown. I take my place behind him. A few deep breaths were had before the minister asks everyone who is able to stand to greet the bride.

Scott uses the hand that’s hidden from the crowd to comfort me. It takes everything in me not to turn around and bawl. I stand there numb as they gather in front of the officiant. He goes on with the ceremony, preaching about God-knows-what. I wasn’t listening.

The magical words “I do” in his deep, smooth voice broke through and shattered my heart. I try not to let it show. The tears sting behind my eyes as I force them not to come forward. Unfortunately, a few do. I wipe them away, hoping people think I’m emotional because I’m happy for them, not because those simple words have the biggest impact on me.

Since Scott is the Best Man (and is the one with pockets), he hands the minister the rings when queued. I begged Scott to insist he holds them. I claimed that I didn’t want to be responsible for them in case something happened, but we all know the real reason was that I couldn’t. I knew as soon as I was up here, I would freeze. I could not physically hold the symbols of their marriage in my hand for the duration of the ceremony. Scott didn’t really want to either but there was no way she was trusting a child with her extravagant wedding ring. So Scott was the default.

From there, they move to light their unity candle. They take their places behind the stand, each picking up their respective pre-lit candles to light the middle one signifying their unification. I keep my gaze to the floor not needing to see it or how happy he is.

Never once did I think to do as people do in the movies. I never thought about interrupting the ceremony with “please don’t marry her, marry me instead.” I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t do that to myself. I couldn’t live with the humiliation of being rejected in front of so many people, including people I’ve idolized for years. He doesn’t deserve it and I’m a better person than that.

The applause from the crowd tell me it’s finally over. The newly married couple make their retreat down the aisle and out. The maid of honor and I exit and take our place in the receiving line after congratulating them.

To say it was an awkward interaction would be an understatement. The bride barely touched me when I gave her a half-assed hug. The exact opposite interaction happens with Chris. His arms linger around my waist and he buries his face in my neck as if he didn’t want to let me go. Everything in me wanted to cling to him too, but he has a wife now. I peel him off of me, refusing to look him in the eye and take my place on the other side of the maid of honor.

The guests coming by helped distract me from Chris’s gaze that I felt constantly. Lisa wanted to give me a hug. I stopped her at first because there was no way I could get through that without completely breaking down. But Lisa being Lisa insisted and didn’t take no for an answer.

Some of Chris’s Marvel friends stopped and talked to me for a bit which I will be eternally grateful for. RDJ had me laughing after whispering that I looked better than the bride. Anthony Mackie’s interaction with Chris made everyone laugh. Sebastian told me how beautiful I looked and he called dibs on the first dance with me at the reception. Scarlett as gorgeous as ever gave me the biggest hug. She also knew of my feelings and shared the same views on his new wife.

The bride and groom were pulled aside before we all piled back on the bus to head towards the reception venue. We are told it has the best view of the sunset for a serene dinner and has an outdoor terrace that overlooks a spectacular view of the ocean for those that need a cool down after some dancing. I know I will be utilizing that space a lot tonight.

By the time we arrive at the venue, it was almost the scheduled dinner time. The bride wanted to get some sunset pictures on the terrace before we all make our entrances. The only thing getting me through these pictures is the fact that I will be able to start drinking very soon. I’m going to need a lot of alcohol to get me through this night ahead.

Scott and I are supposed to make a speech since we are the Best Man and Woman. Liquid courage will be my best friend. We decided weeks ago that he would be speaking on behalf of the both of us since he’s quite literally known Chris his entire life and he has way more juicy and embarrassing stories than I would have. That and I don’t think I would be able to speak without bursting into tears.

We finally make our extremely corny entrances to a rap song of the bride’s choice before we take our seats at the head table. How we stood at the altar was how the seats were arranged so that means I am right next to Chris... great. Now I have to sit next to him and watch him repeatedly kiss his wife because people can’t seem to get enough of clinging their silverware on their glasses. I quickly made the decision to take a drink every time it happened. It may not be the smartest idea but that’s how I’m coping.

An hour later it was time for speeches. The maid of honor went first and I seriously wanted to vomit throughout the entire time. That may have also been due to the amount of alcohol I’ve consumed since sitting down. Chris has leaned over a couple times and asked if I was okay since he knows I don’t drink very often. He persuaded me to last night saying it was his last night and he wanted to spend it having fun. But tonight, this was all me. No one persuaded me to do anything. My reason I gave him was that I’m taking advantage of the open bar. I think he only believed me the first time, that’s why he’s asked me again and again and again.

When the MOH finishes her speech, the microphone is passed down to Scott. He stands up, pulling me with him. The alcohol hits me at that moment and I lose my balance slightly. I recover by grabbing his arm and lean against him. He asks if I’m good before he introduces himself, “Hi, I’m Scott. I’m Chris’s favorite brother and Best Man. This lovely lady to my right is the Best Woman, my,” he emphasizes for effect, “best friend-“

“Hey! She’s my best friend, too.” Chris interrupts causing the other guests to laugh.

“Yeah but she was my best friend first. Anyway, I will be speaking for both of us tonight because she’s clearly had way too much to drink.” I smack him in the stomach then take the microphone.

“I have not! Speeches are not my forte. So I thought it would be better for Scott to speak and I don’t embarrass myself.”

He continues on with his speech with me holding the mic. He talks about how it was growing up with Chris, tells a couple of embarrassing dating stories, briefly adding when I met both of them, before concluding how happy he was for his brother and can’t wait to see what the future holds for them.

The bride makes a speech next but I can’t bring myself to listen to her. I don’t want to hear how much she claims to love him and how she can’t wait for this next chapter of their lives together. My stomach churns just thinking about it.

Chris makes the final speech, thankfully he kept it short and not very detailed.

Which actually wasn‘t like him at all, and definitely not like all of the other groom’s speeches I’ve heard.

The DJ starts the music and the party starts. I plan on keeping my butt in this chair but I spy Sebastian across the way who beckons me to him. I remove my shoes and meet him on the dancefloor.

“You’re mine for the night.” He declares in my ear as he twirls me around to familiar 80’s song. I’ve known Sebastian as long as Chris has. We’ve always gotten along well. Even for a guy he was very perceptive to my feelings for Chris. He never judged me, never forced me to say anything about it. He just flat out said to me, “Chris is an idiot” one day while we were all out together and hasn’t said another word about it since.

After my dance with Seb, I’m stolen by RDJ, claiming Susan was already tired of his dance moves. A couple more dances with Chris’s niece Stella and the Electric slide later, the DJ announces the first dance for the Mr. and Mrs.. A more recent, very overplayed slow song comes on and instantly I know Chris didn’t pick it.

I take that instance to go find my parents. They’re still at their table with Lisa and Bob. “Beautiful speech, honey,” Lisa teases.

“Hey! If you heard the awful speeches I made in high school, you would be thanking me.”

“If you had come to the theater to do more than gawk, we could have fixed that.” Lisa had invited me to join the community theater every summer after meeting. It just wasn’t my thing. It was Chris and Scott’s and I was more than happy to support them from the audience.

“How are you?” My mom asks slipping her hand into mine. She gives it a reassuring squeeze but it does little to lift my heavy heart.

“The worst day of my life is almost over. That is something I can be thankful for.”

Seb comes to steal me away, back to the dance floor until the bride and her father have their dance. I take this time to head to the bathroom.

Just as I’m about finished with my business, the door opens.

“I still can’t believe he’s married.” A woman expresses to another. I quickly recognize the voice as my mother.

“I know. I always thought our kids would end up together.” The other lady who I immediately recognized as Lisa says back to her. “We were supposed to be grandmothers together.”

“If it were up to us, they would have had kids by now!” Their laughs echo off the walls, ringing in my ears. “Those two are as stubborn as can be. Anyone who has eyes can see they’ve both been absolutely crazy for each other since the day they met.”

“Everyone can see except them.” My heart drops into my stomach at Lisa’s words. “I mean, did you see the way he looked at her when he saw her walking down the aisle? And then when his bride did?”

“No comparison!”

“I know my son and it was written all over his face who his heart truly belongs to.”

“And did you see her while she was up there? My poor baby! She was barely holding it together.”

They say more but I don’t hear it. My mind goes into shock after what I just heard.

I stay in the bathroom until the walls start to cave in around me and I feel like I’m suffocating. I leave to find the terrace. The cool ocean breeze greets me like an old friend instantly cooling me down. Thankfully I’m the only one out here for the time being. I pace trying to comprehend what I just overheard.

He’s what? Always has been? No comparison? Who his heart truly belongs to?

... What?

I need answers. Right now.

I head back inside on a mission. I weave my way through the tables until I find him standing next to the bar with a beer in his hand. I stand with my back to the people he’s talking to for privacy. He embraces me, leaning close enough for me to murmur in his ear.  “I need to talk to you. Right now..”

When I pull back, his previous happy expression instantly drops when he sees my urgency. “Okay.” He follows me out of the crowded room and out onto the private terrace. “You’re kinda scaring me here. What’s going on?”

“Do you love me?” I blurt needing to get straight to the point. I can already feel my lungs slightly constricting again. My hands are shaking- no, my whole body was shaking.

“What kind of question is that? Of course I love you, you’re my best friend-“

I try and bite my tongue but I can’t. He’s not understanding me. “-That’s not what I meant.”

He gapes at me for a second before he finally  gets it. His shoulders slump and he sighs,  “I just got married...”

“Doesn’t answer my question.” I step closer and ask slower, “do you... love me?”

“Yes.”

No hesitation. No hint of reservations. Complete and total honesty. Zero regard for what he just did a few hours ago.

I don’t know if I’m relieved or angry. If what our mothers said is true then he has for over 20 years, he didn’t say a thing. Ever.

How did I not see? Am I blind or just oblivious?

“Is that what you want to hear?” He sidesteps me, setting his hands on his hips and shaking his head. He runs his hands down his face before turning back around. “Why are you asking me this now? Why didn’t you say anything about it last night?”

“I didn’t know last night!” I exclaim, exacerbated by this whole situation.

He runs his fingers through his hair as a sign of his distress . “Who told you?”

“Who told me?” I scoff, “You’re my best friend. Why weren’t you the one to do it?”

“I wanted to!” He exclaims, “God,” he runs his hands down his face now, “I’ve been dying to but there has never been a good time to do it.”

“Bullshit,” I blurt. He’s had plenty of opportunities. 20 years’ worth of opportunities! There was something else holding him back. “Try again.”

“I was scared, alright?” He finally blurts the truth. He sighs almost in relief as he makes his way over to one of the benches in the corner. He buries his face in his hands as he leans his elbows on his knees. “I was scared of losing you and what we have. I can’t...”

Needing to comfort him as I have since day one, I go to kneel in front of him. “Hey, look at me,” I remove his hands from his face before taking them in my own. “You’re not gonna lose me. Not now, not ever.” He breathes a heavy sigh of relief, leaning his forehead on mine, closing his eyes.

“Promise?”

“Promise. You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.”

We stay like this, just basking in the quiet, in this moment, and in each other. I’m trying to take in all that I learned but it’s just not comprehending. He’s loved me for as long as I’ve loved him. But due to his fear of losing me, he kept it to himself. All this time we could have been together. We could have been married by now with kids. Our mothers could have finally gotten what they always wanted: us together so they could have mutual grandkids.

“Hey,” I bring us back to reality by cradling his face in my hands and pull back from him but only slightly, “can I ask you something else?” He nods, giving me the softest eyes I’ve ever seen. “Did you ever think, even for a second, that I might feel the same way?”

“I hoped. God, for so long I hoped you did...” his eyes scan my face as I see the wheels turning in his head before he asks, “did you?”

I try and stand up as an embarrassing snort escapes my nose but the fact that I’d been sitting on my legs for so long, my balance was affected.

As I feel myself topple over, he reaches out and grabs my waist pulling me into his chest. My hands instinctively catch his shoulders. Our noses brush. I feel his breath on my face and suddenly mine is stolen.

The tension increases the longer we stay in this position. His hold is firmly secured around my waist. His gaze switches between my eyes and my lips. Never have I been this close to him before in this capacity. We came close once in a game of Twister but that was surrounded by our friends and Scott. Or that one time when we were playing football on Thanksgiving and he tackled me to the ground.

But at that time his feelings had not just been made known and mine were not in question.

As enticing as it would be to finally kiss him after all this time, it wouldn’t be right. It might feel right, but it’s not the right moment.

To break us out of our trance, I answer his question, “The fact that you even have to ask that proves that you were just as oblivious as I was,” before pushing on his shoulders to stand properly.

A smile broke out on his stunning face. “Was I really?” His smile turns into the signature smile the world knows him for. You know the half smile? The one that is too cute for words? It’s the one I fell in love with almost instantly.

And the fact that he was looking up at me through his flawless lashes didn’t help my urge to kiss him.

I nod and shrug. “I thought I was being subtle about it but according to your siblings, subtlety is not one of my strong suits.”

“You know they said the same thing to me?”

I shake my head in disbelief, “Of course they did.”

“I made them promise not to say anything to you until I was ready.”

“Which explains why they were so persistent about me telling you.” I take a seat on the bench a comfortable distance away. We sit in silence for a beat, the only sounds heard were from inside. “What are we gonna do?”

He sighs before reaching into the inner pocket of his jacket. He pulls out an envelope, looking at it in his hands before handing it to me.

I take it, “what’s this?” I open it and take out the contents. It’s his marriage license. “Why are you showing me this?”

“Look at it again.”

Glancing at it again, I notice something. The space where he’s supposed to sign it is blank. His bride’s signature is there as well as both of their mother’s signatures and the ministers but his is missing. Before I could ask, he spoke.

“I couldn’t sign it. I tried but...” he rings his hands together, stopping when his new ring bothered him, “...something inside was telling me not to.” He fidgets with the ring until he slips it off completely. “Nothing has felt right today. I woke up this morning, alone,” he sends a side glance at me, “and I just felt off, like there was a knot in my stomach, and it didn’t go away until... I saw you again. Seeing you dressed up for my wedding and you weren’t the one wearing white...” he shakes his head, “I realized that was it. You were the reason why this didn’t feel right.” He leans back, turning his head to finally look at me again, “It’s because it wasn’t you I was waiting for at the end of the aisle. Seeing you walking towards me only solidified it for me.“

Pinch me, I must be dreaming...

As much as I want to hear everything I’ve been dreaming of him saying, I interrupt him before he can continue, “Please, stop. You don’t have to say anything else.”

He twists his body towards me and takes my hands in his, “but I do! I do because I should have said all of this twenty years ago. I’ve been holding it in and now that I’ve started, I can’t stop.”

“I know. Believe me, I know. But...” I take my hands out of his and intertwine them behind his neck, he leans his forehead against mine. He scoops me up and sets me in his lap, securing his arms around my waist, “... you have someone inside who believes you are her husband and she’s your...” he squeezes my waist as he sees my struggle to call her what she is. I take a deep breath before continuing, “and because I love you-“

He looks up at me, “You do?” I nod. “Say it again.” The most adorable shy smile I’ve ever seen adorned his face in that moment, it made my heart melt entirely.

I take his face in my hands and look him straight in the eyes so he knows I’m being entirely truthful. “I love you.” He groans, burying his face in my neck as he pulls me impossibly closer. The vibrations from his groan tickle against my neck. “And it’s because I love you that I want do things right.”

He grabs the heavy piece of paper that was between us and holds it up, “I could tear this up right now completely invalidating it. We could walk out of here, together. Like it was always supposed to be.”

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted. The man I love wants to be with me and he wants to start our lives together as soon as possible. We could grab our families, fly home, and be married by the end of the weekend. Oh how I would marry him tomorrow if I could.

For years I dreamt of that moment...

I’d wear a simple white gown with spaghetti straps or lace sleeves, an A-line skirt with some bling or not, I’m not picky. He would be in a cream or burgundy suit depending on the season. We’d be surrounded by our immediate family members and our closest friends on our special day then invite everyone we know to party with us later. We’d cry because this day was finally here- our moms would bawl together as well. But no one else would really matter. It would just be the two of us up there, confessing our never-ending love for the other until the officiant declared us husband and wife. I’d be pinching myself the entire day scared it would only be a dream that I would eventually wake up from.

Now that I find out my main source of happiness reciprocates my feelings, that dream is that much closer to becoming a reality.

However, there was still something he needs to do before any of that.

As much as I disliked her, she doesn’t deserve to be left on her wedding day without a word or an explanation. No one deserves that.

As that realization sinks in, shame fills my heart. She will be devastated when he tells her. She’ll experience anger, humiliation and probably a whole other range of emotions. She will be the victim of the media for a very long time, and in all honesty she’ll probably eat it up. She’ll play “the scorned women” for as long as they will pay attention to her.

That’s exactly what she’s done as “Chris Evans’s girlfriend/fiancée” since they went public with their relationship. She gained thousands on thousands of followers on all of her public social media pages. She milked the attention, jumping on any chance at a sponsorship or ad campaign. She also shared as many pictures and videos of Chris as she could, much to his dismay. He’d complain to me countless times about how he wished she wouldn’t share as much, how he wanted their relationship to be more private. He talked to her about it, too, just as many times, but she claimed she was “just giving the fans what they wanted.” The fact that she went against Chris’s wishes didn’t boost my opinion of her.

I sigh, “As much as I want to grab our parents and leave with you right now, there’s someone you need to talk to first.”

He sighs too knowing I’m right. “I know.”

I stand from his lap, the left half of my body instantly missing the warmth his was giving off. He stands too before pulling me back. His arms envelops me in a bone-crushing hug, his nose burying itself in my neck. “Can you say it again?” He whines.

I can’t help but cackle at his request. “I’ll tell you as many times as you want me to...” I pull back to look at him, “after you talk to her.”

He groans again, leaning in to kiss my forehead. “Fine.”

“Finally!” We hear behind us. I turn to see Scott standing at the door to the terrace, “there you are! Dude, the mother and son dance is next! Get your ass in here!”

With that, our bubble breaks and we rejoin civilization. I don’t miss Scott’s look as Chris rushes passed him. I tell him to stop as he starts pestering me about what we were doing out there for so long. I try to tell him that it’s none of his business but he sees right through me. He is my other best friend after all.

As we make our way over to the bar, he quietly recounts what he saw earlier today from when he saw me this morning to when I walked down the aisle towards him, how he’d never seen his brother look that- “heartbroken” was his word- before and how instantly unemotional he was when his bride walked down. He also tells me that when he was lighting the unity candle that he snuck a peak at me. He swears he thought his brother almost said “fuck it” to the whole thing and rush over to me. Of course I didn’t see that so that was definitely news to me but it only confirmed what Chris had told me.

I feel the butterflies going awry in my stomach at the thought of Chris interrupting his wedding to check on me. What would I have done if I had looked up to see he was right in front of me? Would I have broken down right then and there? Would I have begged him to choose me instead? Would he have told me how he felt in front of everyone he knows, including the woman he was supposed to be marrying? How mortified would I have been if he did all of that? Or would I have completely skipped mortified and jumped immediately to elated?

“So who told you?” Scott’s question breaks me out of my thoughts.

“Huh?”

He repeats his question, “He clearly didn’t tell you given the way you rushed in here and stole him away for damn near a half hour. Shanna and I had a bet on if you two would even be coming back.”

I quirk an eyebrow at him, “Who won?”

“Not important.” In other words, not him. He asks for a third time no longer accepting my dodging methods.

Scott’s always been able to see right through me. That’s how he got me to confess my feelings for Chris. He’d badger me, I’d deflect, he’d ask again, I’d attempt to change the subject, but he wouldn’t have it. He’s always had that uncanny ability to make me spill all of my secrets. But he’s also the type of person who would take those aforementioned secrets to the grave. No matter how much he seemed like a blabbermouth on TV with spilling Chris’s secrets- says it was his brotherly duty- he has never said anything about mine.

Thankfully it was our turn to order our drinks so I got a reprieve for a bit. Before I could grab mine, he did. “Oh, no you don’t.” He places it out of my reach. “You don’t get this until you spill about what happened.”

“Nothing happened.”

“Bull! You haven’t smiled all day today except for this morning and when you walked away from that conversation. And don’t even try,” he sasses, “to hide the fact that I saw something between the two of you just now. Something was said and/or occurred.”

I strongly consider not telling him. He would want every single detail. If I did tell him, he no doubt wouldn’t be able to stop himself from celebrating. He would want to tell all of his siblings and his parents “IT’S HAPPENING!” as soon as I get done.

He’s said for over twenty years how much he wants me to officially be his sister. He’s begged me to tell Chris, literally pushing me into his vicinity (the room he’s in, his personal bubble, into his person- it never ended). He’s always been supportive of his brother and I possibly getting together. He’s teased me mercilessly since he first recognized my feelings.

However, not saying anything is what got me into this mess in the first place.

And he does the same thing that Chris does when he wants something- he abuses his pure blue eyes and gives me the biggest puppy dog eyes he can conjure and to add extra effect he occasionally juts out his bottom lip and bats his eyelashes. He didn’t try that this time but his big doe eyes were enough.

“Nothing happened,” I repeat. Just as he was about to interrupt, I beat him to it, “BUT,” he settles back down, “something was said.”

“I knew it!” He exclaims. “Tell me everything!”

I pull him away from the crowd and do just that. As expected, he was ecstatic that everything was finally out in the open. He wasn’t surprised in the slightest that our mothers blew the secret. He says he’s overheard them they talk about it constantly on the phone and in person. He’s also proud of me for confronting him, forcing him to tell me the truth. He was ready to depart back to Mass at the drop of a dime if that’s what we wanted to do, he was not going to miss the “most important event of his lifetime.”

I spend the rest of the night stealing glances from Chris, dancing with Sebastian, and trying to keep Scott in line. The last thing I said to him was I didn’t want him telling anyone else, even his sisters or his parents until Chris makes his decision.

Because there is a decision to make. Even though he said what he said to me doesn’t mean he will end things with his bride. He may completely change his mind when he sees his bride once she gets out of her wedding dress- I overheard her telling some of the bridesmaids about the lingerie she had underneath while I was getting my hair done. He could see her in a new light and decide to sign the marriage license.

I will accept whatever decision he makes no matter what. Because he is my best friend. I will accept whatever makes him the happiest even if it’s not with me.

I happily sigh as I retreat into my room. I fall onto the bed, thinking about what was said earlier tonight.

He loves me.

He couldn’t bring himself to sign his own marriage license because it didn’t feel right. Nothing felt right to him today until he saw me. He offered to tear up his marriage license and leave his own wedding reception to be with me. He was willing to risk everything to be with me.

Because we both know what will happen when the media gets ahold of this.

It will be a circus. A PR nightmare. Chris will likely be disliked by many, which he will think he deserves. He won’t take it lightly either. He may even go into hiding a.k.a. stay in Boston until something else inevitably knocks it out of the top spot.

I know there will be speculation as to why he left his fiancée on their wedding day. There will be awful headlines that will not be kind to him. And I know that no matter what he or anyone else says to counter those false headlines, no one will believe a word.

That’s the crappy nature of the media beast. Everyone will want to give their own opinions on the situation- most, if not all, will be negative.

I’m abruptly jolted awake by repetitive knocking on my door. I roll to my side, not even realizing I fell asleep in the first place. I didn’t even get a chance to change out of my dress before exhaustion from the day took over.

I turn towards the window to possibly gauge what time it is without looking at the clock. It’s barely daylight. The sky is a very light blue with the sunlight hardly mixing with it.

Glancing at the clock, my suspicions are correct. It’s just past 5:30.

I groan at the fact that I just managed to get three hours of sleep before I was so rudely awoken.

Speaking of, the knocking persists.

Peeling myself off the bed, I stumble to the door fully planning on giving the person a piece of my mind. How dare they interrupt my sleep! Don’t they know that women, especially me, need beauty sleep? Everyone who knows I’m here knew I had been out late. So whoever is on the other side of this door, I will not be pleasant to.

I hear my name muffled by the door followed by a “please, open up.” I’m pretty sure I’m not fully awake yet but I swear that, even though it was muffled, it sounded like Chris...

I open the door after struggling with the lock to see exactly who I thought it was.

Before I could start to chastise him, he speaks.

“I know you’re mad about being woken up, but we need to go.” He shoves passed me into my room and over to my suitcase. “I couldn’t talk to her, she was too drunk by the time we got back to our room. She slipped out of her dress, nearly tripping over the damn thing then passed out on the bed. I left my ring and the unsigned license on the table with a note. I couldn’t wait until she woke up.” He enters the bathroom now, coming out with all of the toiletries I left in there. He places them in my bag haphazardly before trying to zip it shut. “I know you wanted me to talk to her and I will... at a later date.“

“Christopher, stop,” I pull his hands away from my bag which he is about to break.

He sighs frustratedly before giving up on it completely. “I booked us a flight back home in two hours.” He pauses as he lets that sink in for me. “Let’s go. You and me. Just like I said.”

He’s choosing me. I can’t believe he’s choosing me over her. For years, I wished he would. I dreamed of the day he would finally wake up and see that the partner he’s searched for was right in front of him this whole time. Turns out he knew all along, he just didn’t have the guts to say anything until I confronted him about it.

I shake off the shock and the leftover sleepiness, “What-uh, what about our families? We can’t just leave them here.”

“It’s all taken care of.” He steps closer, running his hands from my shoulders down my arms until he intertwined our hands together. “I left them all messages letting them know what was going on.”

“You told them?”

He shrugs, “I had to. It didn’t feel right leaving them out of the loop. I mean they have wanted this as long as we have.”

In this profoundly serious moment, he manages to make me smile. I shouldn’t be surprised though. He’s been making me laugh or smile at the most inopportune and inappropriate times. During Family Game Nights was always his favorite. When we’d play Twister, he’d whisper something totally random into my ear and I’d burst out laughing therefore losing my balance. Also during my choir concerts, he loved sitting in my direct sight line and making faces at me.

He caresses my face with his hand, I lean into his touch. “So what do you say?”

“I’m in.”

No hesitation. No hint of reservations. Complete and total honesty. Zero regard for what he just did a few hours ago.

“God, I am all in.”

And finally, after the longest 20+ years of waiting and secretly pining, he kisses me.

I feel it in the deepest parts of my soul that this is right. This feeling is the most “right” I have ever felt in my entire life. He completes me in every way imaginable. What even was my life without him in it?

Six months later, we make it official in front of our families and closest friends in the Evans family backyard. Everything was exactly how I always pictured it. From my dress, the flowers, the way he looked at me when I walked down the aisle towards him... this time, there were tears of joy on both of our ends.

Our mothers cried. Scott cried. Everyone cried at the overwhelming feeling of love here between us and between our families, as we became one.

After the ceremony, there was still one more thing we had to do.

The minister pulls us aside and lays out our license on a table. I quickly scan it, like I have for a month prior to today, still in utter disbelief that we were finally together and taking this next step.

Something catches my eye as she’s filling out her portion.

Chris had already signed it.

I look to him at my side to see he has the giddiest smile on his perfect face.

“I couldn’t wait,” He admits shyly.

As if my heart couldn’t melt any more...

“Damn it, Christopher,” I dab away the happy tears before they fall. He kisses my cheek then my lips before it’s my turn to sign.

I write out my name with his last as I’ve doodled on countless pieces of paper over a million times before. It was the easiest thing I’ve ever done, besides say “yes” to marrying the love of my life.

The minister makes the “you’ve been practicing” comment as I hand her back the pen.

Oh she has no idea...

Our moms tearfully do their part as witnesses, both embracing us after unable to contain how overjoyed they are for us.

“Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Evans.” She shakes our hands after tucking the license into its designated envelope then takes her leave.

Lisa is the first to comment on our future children while we take a few quick photos. “Now don’t be waiting too long to start trying. We’ve been waiting long enough for this day.”

Chris and I laugh before I happily reply, “I promise you won’t have to wait for much longer,” with my hand on my stomach.

The looks on all of their faces was captured by our photographer as we had planned.

Having just found out yesterday morning, I couldn’t wait to tell all of them. I figured this moment was the best possible.

As they bombard the both of us with hugs and even more tears, I can’t wipe the smile from my face.

Everything is coming together as it always should have been. The man I’m hopelessly in love with is now my husband, his family is officially my own as well, and we have created a miracle with the love we have for each other.

Later that night, we’re lying in bed with his hand on my stomach, his new ring is proudly on his finger, where it will stay for as long as we both shall live.

He whispers how much he loves me and how happy he is like he has just about every day since we got together. The same butterflies go awry in my stomach, or that might be the baby’s movements.

Either way, I fall asleep as I am, even though my dreams couldn’t possibly beat my new reality.

Everything is at long last right in the world. Or at least in mine.

~*~

Taglist: @the-marvel-wars​ @elusive-beauty​ @drakesfiance​ @im-a-slut-for-an-accent​ @fantasy-is-my-reality​

#is it right #chris evans #chris evans x reader #christopher robert evans #chris evans imagine #christopher evans #chris evans drabble #chris evans oneshot #chris evans x you #chris evans x ofc

[waitimcomingtoo]

Hii! Can you do a Tom Holland x reader where they do the buzzfeed video reading thirst tweets and Tom gets jealous of the tweets, fluff fluff fluff. 💞💞 THANK YOUU

I love this idea! I hope you like it

Thirsty

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warning: it’s thirsty tweets, so adult humor and crude comments

Masterlist

“Hi I’m Y/n L/n.” Tom said to the camera while sneaking at glance at you to see if you laughed.

“And I’m Tom Holland.” You bounced off his joke with a giggle. “And today, we’re going to be reading thirsty tweets.”

“The tweets aren’t thirsty, darling. It’s the people writing them.” Tom corrected you. He gave the camera a pointed look as you laughed at your mistake, already feeling giddy for the video.

“I’m sorry. Let’s start the video, shall we?” You asked as you picked a tweet out of the bucket. “I wonder how big Tom Holland’s- oh and this is Buzzfeed!” You suddenly remembered to credit the creators of the video. Everyone on set, including Tom burst out laughing. Tom plucked the tweet out of your hands.

“I think we’ve heard enough of the one.” Tom said as he tossed the paper over his shoulder.

“Take a two minute break. That’ll be our intro.” Someone from behind the camera called. You gave them a thumbs up and turned to Tom.

“Are you excited or nervous?” You asked him as your straighten the collar of his jacket. You’d made a habit of tidying up Tom since he had a habit of being disheveled.

“I try to always turn my nerves into excitement.” Tom told you. “But I’m a little nervous about what they’re going to say about you. You, being so hot and all.”

You laughed and tossed some of your straightened hair behind your shoulder.

“Oh, you know. I aim to please.” You replied. You were a little nervous yourself. You could only imagine what crazy things fans could’ve tweeted at your movie star boyfriend. He was definitely a fan favorite, and had a whole army of girls begging to be his. You’d just recently announced that you were together and this was your first video together as an official couple. So yeah, you were nervous.

Your break ended and you picked the first official tweet out of the bucket.

“Tom Holland is zaddy.” You read. It was a nice, calm way to start the video.

“That wasn’t bad.” Tom nodded. “Short and sweet.” He selected a tweet from the bucket.

“Y/n L/n looks a lot like my next girlfriend.” He read. He made a displeased face at the camera.

“I don’t know, mate. I heard she has a boyfriend. A really good looking one too.” Tom joked. You rolled your eyes as he took another tweet.

“Tom Holland is so fine. I think I rewatched the scene when Peters suit falls off a million times.” He read.

“Same girl.” You commented. You took the bucket from his hands and put your hand on the side of your mouth, whispering loudly, “it’s even better in person.”

“If I could only let one person bone me the rest of my life, it would be Y/n L/n.” You read out loud. Your eyes widened at the bold tweet.

“That escalated quickly.” You said. Tom didn’t look amused.

“She already has someone to do that, so.” Tom shrugged smugly and tossed the tweet aside.

“Thomas!” You smacked his arm and looked at the camera. “Do you see what I have to put up with? Let’s keep it PG, please.”

“@YOURNAMELASTNAME, girl, what you doing? Get your ass back in the Louvre where you belong.” You read.

“I liked that one.” Tom said with a nod of approval. “Because you are a work of art.”

You smiled at him and picked out another tweet.

“My sexuality is the veins in Tom Holland’s right arm.” You smacked your knee as you laughed. Tom just shook his head.

“I don’t even know what that means.” He remarked as he took a tweet.

“Y/n L/n, if you’re reading this, by all means, foreclose on my house. Destroy my credit score. Flood my basement. Ruin my life. I beg you.” He read dramatically. The lack of crudeness towards earned a chuckle from him.

“Aw that’s...sweet?” You said, sounding more like a question. You look a tweet from the bucket and cleared your throat.

“I would let 30-50 feral hogs trample over me if Tom Holland was the paramedic who transferred my corpse into the back of the ambulance.” Tom read. You burst out laughing until your stomach hurt.

“That was graphic.” You said between giggles. “And incredibly specific.”

“She wouldn’t really need an ambulance at that point though, would she?” Tom asked you, not ready to leave the topic yet.

“I’ve never been trampled by 30-50 wild hogs, so I wouldn’t know.” You replied. Tom gave you a cheeky grin.

“It’s feral hogs, love.” He teased. He had a way of forgetting cameras were there when you were around.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You said sarcastically as you took a tweet.

“Tom Holland is the only man who deserves rights.” You read and nodded in agreement. Tom did as well which made you laugh.

“I want Y/n L/n to use my face as a trampoline.” Tom read. He looked at the paper in his hands for a long time. “Now, why are mine so tame and yours are borderline insane?” He was beginning to find the tweets less and less funny. He didn’t like people tweeting about you in such vulgar ways, especially when they didn’t even know you.

“I guess my fans just really like me.” You shrugged and picked up another tweet. “I want Tom Holland to drive over me with his private jet.”

“It’s actually Sonys jet, but I appreciate the gesture.” Tom answered as he took a tweet out of the bucket. “My ideal weight is Y/n L/n on top of me.” Tom clicked his tongue, feeling a little twinge of anger in the pit of his stomach. “That’s unfortunate, since she’s a little busy being on top of me.”

You looked at the camera with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.

“What did I say? PG!” You snatched the bucket from his hands and pretended to be angry. Tom knew he shouldn’t have said it, though be it true, but he just wanted to remind the people watching of your relationship. Tom took the bucket back from you and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“I’m just letting the fans know who’s you are.” Tom replied with a cocky smile. “All mine.”

“I just wanna know how Y/n L/ns lips feel😔” He read. “And then they put a little sad face emoji.”

“Aw. You don’t have to be sad.” You told the camera.

“They feel amazing, by the way.” Tom quipped, giving the camera a cheeky wink. “But you’re never gonna know.”

“I want Tom Holland to use his jawline to cut me into fries.” You read. It made you chuckle again. You slid your finger across Toms jawline and smiled.

“Me too, baby, me too.” You said and picked out another one.

“This one is about you again. It says “Tom Holland walks into a room and his ass walks in 20 minutes later.” I have to agree.” You nodded. “Daddy thiccums.”

“Don’t start with that again, darling.” Tom groaned. Someone had commented that on his post the week prior and you wouldn’t let him live it down. You thought it was the funniest nickname in existence. Tom, of course, hated it, which is exactly why you snuck it into conversations every now and then.

“What? There’s nothing to be ashamed of, baby. If you got it, flaunt it.” You announced as you swiped some hair off his forehead. He felt a little hot to the touch. You noticed his jaw was clenched for the first time. If you weren’t being filmed, you’d have been all over him, asking if he was okay. You knew you had to bite your tongue until the interview was over.

“Y/n L/n can have it anytime she wants it.” You read off the paper.

“She doesn’t want it.” Tom deadpanned.

“Hey.” You laughed and took the tweet from his hand. “That’s mean.”

“Look at his profile picture. He looks like a foot.” Tom pointed to the tiny profile picture that could barley be seen on the paper.

“A foot?” You laughed and took another tweet from the bucket. There was definitely something off about Tom. You were sure of it now.

”Tom Holland’s ass is phat with a PH.” You read. You looked at the camera and wiggled your eyebrows.

“Again, completely true.” You agreed.

“Why are all of these about my butt?” Tom asked with a smile, but sounding genuinely confused.

“Maybe because you’re dummy thick.” You shrugged and took another tweet.

“Y/n in that dress at the Far From Home premiere? She walked in and said BAWDY. She said body-ody-ody.” You read from the paper.

“Stop.” You put your hand over your face in sudden embarrassment. “You’re too kind.”

“Are they wrong, though? I loved you in that black and red dress.” Tom commented and took one from the bucket.

“I had to show my man some support by wearing his colors. My man, being Spider-Man I mean. Not this loser.” You pointed you thumb at Tom.

“Hey.” He put his hand over his heart and pouted at you. “I am your man.”

“I know.” You presses a quick kiss to his still red cheeks. “I’m only teasing, lover.”

Tom looked satisfied with you answer and read his tweet.

“Not to be horny on main, but I want to hold Tom Holland’s hand.” He said. He immediately slipped his hand into yours and held them up for the camera.

“Sorry.” He said. “My hands are full.”

“@backseatL/N asks, has Y/n broken up with the Brit yet? I’m tryna know if I can shoot my shot or not.” You read. You wished you’d read it to yourself before reading it out loud. It was sure to get a rise out of Tom.

“She did not.” Tom looked directly into the camera. “So you can not.”

You could hear the tension in his voice. He was wavering from joking around to actually being serious. You squeezed his hand gently to let him know everything was alright. Tom seemed to appreciate the gesture and gave you a grateful smile.

“Sorry guys.” You said, your eyes never leaving Tom. “You know I love a London boy.”

Tom picked out a tweet that had a picture of himself at the Far From Home premiere attached.

“I would let Tom Holland break my legs. I don’t know why this photo made me realize that but it did.” He read. You took the paper in your own hands to examine the picture.

“Oh God.” You said. “Remember when you took me golfing for like our third date and you hit me in the leg with a golf ball?”

“I do.” Tom bit back a smile. “I can’t believe you let me take you on another date after that.”

He appeared to be in a better mood until you read the next tweet.

“Y/n is way too fine to be wasting her time with that toothpick. I could show her how a REAL man does it. Just wait, @YOURNAMELASTNAME, I’m coming for you. #tomhollandbetterprayup.”

You grimaced and crumpled the tweet up into a ball. Tom did not look happy and you were starting to see why.

“I think she’s been shown how a real man does it.” Tom said, trying to sound like he was kidding for the camera but not succeeding. You could tell he was throughly pissed off now and hoped the fans wouldn’t be able to tell.

“Yes I have.” You slammed your fist down like you were in court. “Real men hit you with golf balls and then laugh instead of getting you ice.”

Tom laughed at your joke so you kept going to pull him out of his sour mood. “Also, who are they calling toothpick?” You asked as you squeezed Toms bicep. “This thing feels like a ripe avocado.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me.” Tom said in his sassy voice. You pinched his cheek before taking out another tweet.

“The sun shines for Y/n L/n. It only shines on the rest of us out of pity. It belongs to her and only her.” You read. “Aw. That was really cute.” You said. “Thank you, @fistmetonystark.”

The username caught you off guard. Tom let out a loud laugh as your face went red in embarrassment.

“Okay.” You dragged out the word. “Moving on.”

“I’m just trying to take a bubble bath and watch Home Alone with Tom Holland. Is that to much to ask?” Tom read off a paper.

“In my opinion, that is a lot to ask.” You kidded.

“I think the bath would get cold by the time the movie ended.” Tom said in an attempt to apply logic to the absurd tweet.

“But in my experience, bubble baths with Tom Holland are fun.” You saluted the camera and Tom smiled at you. Your attempt to calm him down wasn’t going unnoticed by him.

“They’re fun until Y/n gets soap in your eyes.” He said to the camera.

“Let the record show that I got soap in his eye once.” You emphasized. “And it was only because I happened to sneeze.”

Tom grabbed the leg of your stool and pulled your chair closer to his. You rested your head on his shoulder as he read the next one.

“@thatswhatmakesyoubootyful says, who said Tom Holland was allowed to have such a juicy dumper? I want answers.” Tom read and you bent over in a fit of laughter. “I can’t believe I had to read that with my own two eyes.”

“JUICY DUMPER.” You screamed. The crew laughed in the background. Tom just shook his head, stifling a laugh.

“@YOURNAMELASTNAME, I just want to put a ring on your pretty little finger. Lord knows Holland won’t do it.” You read once you caught your breath. You wiped a tear from your eye, still to fully recovering from the last tweet. Tom, who was fully recovered, took offense to this one.

“Holland will do it.” He snapped, almost sounding angry. “Holland will most definitely do it, and you can quote me on that, @chokemeharry2011.”

You giggled at the username and picked a paper out of the bucket.

“I want Tom Holland to chop me up and feed me to Tessa.” You raised your eyebrows. “Please don’t. She’s fat enough.”

“Hey!” Tom took the bucket from your hands. “Don’t make fun of my baby.”

“Your fat baby.” You said under your breath.

“Petition for Y/n L/n to win an Oscar for acting like she’s actually in love with Tom Holland.” Tom read, looking completely unamused.

“It’s not acting, but I would like an Oscar.” You poked Toms side but he was busy looking up at the ceiling with an annoyed expression. You gulped you picked up a tweet.

“I want Tom Holland to beat me with a sack of wet mice.” This got Tom laughing again, which made you relived. There were only a few left and you prayed they were tame.

“You know what Tom Holland has that I don’t have? Y/n L/n.” You began to read. “You know what I have that Tom Holland doesn’t have? Lips.”

You crumpled that one up too and gave a fake laugh.

“That one wasn’t even funny.” You said, mostly to Tom. His scowl was back on his face.

“I want to be baptized in Tom Holland’s sweat.” You tried to lighten the mood by reading one for him. He let a little air out and gave a small smile. You moved one of your legs to go over his and left it there. He wasn’t blind to what you were doing and rested his hand on your leg while taking a tweet.

“*pulls up to McDonalds window* can I get uhhhhhhh…Y/n L/n’s hand in marriage?” He read. He had to laugh at that one.

“Aw.” You looked up at the camera with a happy smile. “That’s actually wholesome. Thanks @babydollY/N.” You blew a kiss.

“That was the last one.” Tom looked inside the bucket and to his relief, didn’t see any more.

“Well that was us reading thirst tweets.” You said into the camera. “I feel like I need a shower. Or 12.”

“I feel like you need to block half the people who sent those in.” Tom half joked.

“Well, thank you so much Buzzfeed for having us.”

“And go see our movie, Spider-Man Far From Home.” Tom opened his arms out to the camera before wrapping a protective arm around your shoulders.

The camera man gave you the thumbs up, meaning he’d stopped filming. You and Tom went through the rest of your interviews for that day and didn’t get home until late. Luckily, you were doing press in London so you could stay at home and not a hotel. Tom was still acting a little off during the interviews. He kept his hand on your leg for all of them, and was a little more affectionate than usual. You were pretty sure he had kissed your cheek or lips in every single video you shot that day. Sure, that was the kind of stuff fans and shippers lived for, but Tom had never been one for PDA. When you finally got home, you asked him about his behavior.

“What’s up with you today? Is everything alright?” You asked him when you came out of the bathroom to find him lying on your bed, staring at the ceiling. You took a seat next to him as he sat up.

“I’m not gonna lie, those tweets made me kind of jealous.” Tom confessed. He insecurely toyed with your fingers and didn’t make eye contact.

“Why?” You asked him. You pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles, making him look at you.

“Because I feel like the whole world wants my girl.” He said sadly.

“But to your girl, you’re the whole world.” You assured him, cupping his face in your hands. He gave you a small smile at your corny words.

“You have a way with words, don’t you L/n?” He said, cheering up a little. “And thank you for what you did in the interview. I could tell you were trying to calm me down. I was just overwhelmed by all the people pinning for you. It made me afraid I was going to lose you.” Tom admitted. You shook you head and kissed him gently.

“Don’t worry, lover. You’re not gonna lose me to @fistmesteverogers or @babydollY/N. My heart is all yours.” You told him.

“It was @fistmetonystark.” Tom corrected, looking glum again. You couldn’t help but giggle at the stupid username.

“Whoever it was, it doesn’t matter. People can tweet me whatever they want. You’re the only one I have notifications on for, baby.” You said, trying to keep the conversation light to show Tom how he had nothing to worry about.

“Don’t you have notifications on for John Mulaney?” Tom asked, a smile finally poking through.

“Shhh.” You held a delicate finger to his lips and he laughed. “That’s not important. What’s important is I’m yours and you’re mine and no thirsty tweet could ever change that.”

“It’s not the tweets that are thirsty, it’s the people.” Tom reiterated.

“Well, let them be thirsty.” You declared, still in a joking manner. “The only thirst I’m ever gonna quench is yours.”

“Y/nnnn.” Tom whined and buried his face in your neck. You felt his hot breath on your collar bones. “I’m being serious. I don’t like people thinking about you that way. There are million of boys and girls out there who want to be run over with trucks or hit with a shovel just to be in the same room as you. How can I compete?” Tom asked, the bad feelings sinking in again.

“You can’t.” You shrugged, causing Tom to look at you quizzically. “Because there’s no competition.” You finished. Tom smiled a little as you used your pinky to tilt his face towards yours. “ Tommy, I love you. I’m never gonna love anybody else. So you can be jealous over those tweets but, it’s a waste of your time. Time that could be spent giving me love and affection.”

“You know I can’t resist love and affection.” Tom said with a happy smile. You’d finally pulled him out of his slump.

“Then stop thinking about those dumb tweets and kiss me.” You ordered.

Tom obeyed and pulled you in for a long and deep kiss. He held you close to him, even when you pulled away.

“Y/n?” Tom asked softly, sounding serious all of the sudden. You wonder if all the marriage talk in the video prompted him to ask you a certain question. You didn’t let your smile poke through and kept a calm look on your face.

“Yes?” You answered sweetly. Tom took your face in his hands and stared you deeply in your eyes. You peered back at his gentle brown eyes with all the love in the world. Tom took a deep breath, looked at the floor, and then at you.

“I want you to use my face as a trampoline.” He said finally, quoting the tweet from earlier. You smacked his hands off your face and punched him (with love) in the arm.

“You’re impossible.” You grumbled, feeling like an idiot for getting your hopes up. He, on the other hand, was dying with laughter.

“I am not impossible. I was in a movie called The Impossible, so that may be where you’re getting confused.” He teased. You’d had enough of his humor and got off the bed to walk away. “Come back! I need you to foreclose on my house.”

“Leave me alone, pervert.” You laughed, pushing him away as he tried to pull you back.

“Please? I just want you to flood my basement.” Tom continued to quote the tweets and pulled you into a hug, resting his chin on top of your head. Normally it’d be a sweet gesture, but he was pushing your buttons.

“No thanks.” You answered, giving in to the hug.

“Is it because I don’t have lips?” Tom asked. You groaned loudly and pulled yourself out of his embrace before he could see you smiling.

“I think I just heard a ribbit coming from your mouth.” You called as you walked away.

“Don’t go.” He grabbed your hands and pulled you back towards him. “I just want to know how your lips feel.”

“Two can play this game,” you lowered your voice to a grave tone, “daddy thiccums.”

“Okay.” Tom held up his hands in surrender. “I’ll stop. Just please, never say those words again.”

“I won’t.” You promised. You crossed your heart with your fingers. “But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re a baddie with a fatty.”

“If you keep that up, Holland won’t put a ring on it.” Tom wagged his finger at you, giving in to the joke that made him upset earlier in the day.

“Well I simply can’t have that.” You said in a much calmer tone as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Tom rested his thick arms around your waist and held you flushed against him, pulling a little gasp from your throat.

“I can’t have that either.” Tom said lowly, a gleam of adoration in his tired brown eyes. “Can we just put today behind us and go to sleep?”

Tom picked you up bridal style before you could give him and answer. He placed you gently on the bed, both of you already having brushed your teeth, and climbed in next to you.

“Goodnight, lover of mine.” Tom yawned. He pressed a kiss to your lips before flopping onto his pillow.

“Goodnight...” You said mischievously.

“Don’t say it.” Tom warned in a tired voice.

“Da-“

You were instantly hit with a pillow.

“I told you not to say it.” Tom said, unable to hide his laughter.

“You’re right.” You said sincerely. “I’m sorry.”

You cuddled into Toms side and laid your head on his heartbeat. He rubbed lazy circles into your back and leaned his chin into your hair.

“But @chokemeharry2011 would never treat me this way.” You said quickly.

And thus, you were hit with another pillow.

#tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland thirst #tom holland thirt tweets #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfiction #spiderman x you #spiderman: hoco #spiderman: far from home #spiderman x y/n #spiderman x reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #spider man: homecoming #tom holland jealous

[monaownsmyass]

Peace of Mind

Requested fic by anon. (If you have any fic ideas or requests you'd like me to write, you can leave me an ask!)

Book: My Two First Loves

Pairing: Ava Lawrence x MC (Emma Price)

Genre: Fluff but again, make it angsty

Rating: G, none

Word Count: 2,402

A/N: Ava comes out to MC but MC has her own confession to make. This is technically a continuation of my previous Ava fic but can be read as a stand-alone. And, I’m also planning to write another part to conclude this ‘series’ sooo👀

Tag list: @ineedskyecrandall @kamilahsayeet2063 @avalawrencefl @lovekamilahsayeed @thequeenkamilahsayeed @heygmicheelle @djtjsmith14 @jjlover01 @soft-for-drake @dopeyouth @alexroyard @satrinadia @toalltheboysididntlove @mypegasifly @samanthadalton @playallthechoices @queensayeed (lmk if anyone would like to be included or removed in my next fics and if you only want to be tagged for certain pairings.)

'Can I talk to you?'

I read the message over and over again for the past hour, cracking my head, trying to figure out what on earth she meant by that.

Did I do something wrong? Did I forget something? Was it personal? Or was it school-related? Maybe something happened?

All I knew was that that sentence was the most stress and anxiety-inducing text I could've ever receive.

And here I was, getting it from my best friend.

'Of course,' I replied almost an hour later even though I saw it as soon as I got the message.

Instantly, my phone buzzed with Ava's respond.

'I have to do it in person. Can I come over?'

Okay, that didn't help at all.

'Sure, is everything alright?'

'Yeah, I just have to tell you something.'

I swear I could hear my heartbeat drumming in my ear from how fast it was racing.

'Okay...,' I sent back and fell back onto my bed, groaning.

My mind raced with a million possibilities. The curious part of me wished Ava was already here and would just tell me whatever she wanted to. The fear-riddled part of me wanted to run away and avoid Ava.

But I was done with that. I was done running away from my feelings, I was done avoiding the inevitable truth.

And maybe, if Ava wanted to tell me something, I should tell her something back. Something I think she should know. Something I should've told her long ago.

But was I ready?

Just then, I heard a car stop outside. I peered out my window and saw Ava's sedan. I watched her step out and my heart leapt to my throat. It had been a usual occurrence ever since a few month ago and I don't know where it came from but the feeling never left.

Ava always walked as if she owned the place, every stride exuding confidence in a way I could only dream of. It was one of the things I've always admired about here. But today, there was an extra power to each step, as if she was a woman on a mission.

And what that mission was? I would soon find out.

I moved to open my room door to find Ava about to knock on it, which made me jump.

Damn, how did she get here so fast?

"Hi!" she said, clearly startled as well.

"Hey!"

I side-stepped and let her into my room, catching a whiff of her flowery perfume as she passed me, making me lose my bearings for a second.

She awkwardly stood at the foot of the bed as if she was waiting for my approval and I looked at her, confused. She'd normally plop herself right on it as if she were at home because honestly, this might as well be her second home.

"Uh, don't you wanna sit, weirdo?" I asked her and giggled despite the nervousness bubbling in me.

"Oh! Um, yeah, right."

She cautiously took a seat at the edge of the bed and I shook my head at her.

"C'mon, sit properly! You look so uncomfortable," I told her and waved my hand at her to move onto my bed even though it was more for my sake. Seeing her so hesitant and stiff in my room, the place I called my sanctuary, the place I only let people I trust the most into, seeing her like this in my private space I gladly shared with her over the past few years was unnerving.

She chuckled nervously and scooched up to the headboard, resting her back against it with me beside her. She looked on straight ahead and I looked at her. For a moment, it was silent.

Dead silent.

I cleared my throat to break it and asked Ava, "I know you said everything's okay, but is it really?"

She didn't respond, only gulped and took in a deep breath.

"Ava?" I placed a hand on her arm that sent a jolt up my own. Her head shot towards my direction as if she could feel it too.

"Sorry, I'm just really nervous," she breath out, looking at me. "I'm... I'm trying to get my thoughts in order. My mind is all over the place and I want to get this right."

I stared at her intently, my breathing slow and deep, waiting for her say something.

Finally, she spoke.

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now," she began quietly.

"Something?"

"About myself."

There was a pause between that.

"Okay...," I drew out in anticipation. "What is it?"

"I...," her voice cracked but she cleared her throat before continuing. "I, uh..."

I waited for her as I watched her shut her eyes before exhaling slowly, too nervous to say anything. Then, she opened her eyes and looked right into mine. The intensity and determination in them made me gasp.

"I'm a lesbian."

Her words knocked the air out of my lungs and my eyes widen slightly in realisation.

Did Ava just come out to me?

I felt a deep sense of relief wash over me and I felt strangely... comforted?

I realised she still looking at me, waiting for a respond but all I could get out was, "Oh!

"Oh?"

"Oh."

Ava sighed and began rambling. "I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you earlier, I swear. But I wasn't ready, and I didn't know how you'd take it! Not that I was assuming you'd react badly, but I couldn't be absolutely sure. And if you did react badly, there's no way for me to know for sure that you won't tell your sister or dad."

I was watching her go on and on but my mind was in another place, trying to make sense of it all, what this would mean for Ava, what it would mean for us and our friendship, this strange sensation of excitement within me, it was taking over my thoughts and overwhelming my entire being.

"And if that happened, it could spread to other people and honestly? I'm terrified of what people will think. Of how they'll start treating me. It's scary not knowing what will happen if I so much as do or say the wrong thing in front of someone."

That snapped me out of my reverie.

"Hey, Ava, it's okay," I reassured her and pulled her into a hug. All my senses were overloading with everything Ava but I managed to composed myself. "You know I don't care. And don't worry, I'm not gonna tell anyone."

"Thank you," Ava whispered.

"And you don't have to explain, I understand," I closed my eyes and said the next words softly, carefully. "In more ways than one."

She pulled back and looked at me cautiously. I could feel butterflies in my stomach and I gulped.

"What do you mean?"

Well, this was it.

"I... I think... I might like girls too."

Ava's face went from confusion to shock to relief then to excitement and then... hopefulness? All in the span of a few seconds.

Her eyes shined and in a small voice, she asked, "Really?"

I gave her a slow nod.

She stared at me.

And I at her.

Then, I spoke again.

"But I'm not sure," I admitted. I contemplated telling her the next part but damn it, enough was enough. I said I was done avoiding the truth and I meant it. It was time to own up to it. "The only reason I think I might like girls is 'cuz of this one girl in particular."

"Tell me more about this girl," she challenged and looked me in the eyes.

I knew she knew. Even if she wasn't sure, I knew she had a strong feeling she did.

And in that moment, I also knew I was ready to confirm it.

I gazed back into her brilliant eyes and braced myself to pour my heart, soul and mind to her, all my feelings and thoughts, I was ready to bare everything to Ava even if it left me naked with vulnerability.

I was ready.

"This girl, I learnt so much from her. She's taught me to be confident and to stand up for myself and not let others walk over me. But on days where I couldn't do that, she was always the one who had my back. She's always been there for me and it took me a while, but I realised my feelings for her might go beyond platonic." I paused to gauge her reaction but she remain expressionless. The only way I could tell she was soaking in every word was from the way her eyes focused on mine. Pupils dilated, she clung onto every word I spoke. It made me more anxious but I was glad she was listening.

She deserved to know.

"She's the reason for the smile on my face every day. I see her and suddenly, all my worries are gone and my mind is at ease. She's my comfort and my happiness and my stomach lurches just from the sight of her. She's so beautiful and captivating and when she looks at me, I can't help but feel like the luckiest person in the world. These feelings are confusing and messy and uncertain and I've been trying to figure them out for months now. But if there's anything I'm sure about, it's that I like her. I really, really like her. More than I should."

Never breaking eye contact, I reached out to gently touch her hand that was on the sheets between us. Electricity ran through my fingertips and up my arm, leaving goosebumps on my skin. I saw Ava breathing start to deepen but her gaze never wavered.

"And," I added on, feeling my nerves finally get the better of me now.

The moment of truth.

"I think she feels the same about me."

I saw her eyes become glassy as I felt her fingers intertwine with mine.

And she gave me a single nod.

"She does."

I felt a burst of emotions flood through me as a tear trickled down my cheek. The weight on my chest was lifted and I finally got to breathe again. The burden on my shoulders was eased and I felt so light, I was sure I could fly. The thing that was weighing on my mind was gone and I swear I got giddy from the high of being free.

I was free.

Because the wait was over, the truth was out, I didn't have to run anymore.

"You do?" I asked, voice quivering.

"I do!"

That was when I lost it and broke down into sobs, feeling intense bliss take over me.

This time, Ava pulled me into a hug and I immediately buried my face in the crook of her neck, letting myself cry while she tried controlling her own tears as well but I could hear her sniffling.

"I've dreamt of you saying that for so long," she muttered softly into my hair. "It drove me crazy not knowing if I was imagining things or not."

I giggled despite my tears. "Sorry for making you wait."

"I just want to know," Ava spoke as she pulled back to look at my face. "When I told you I love you that day, you knew how I meant it right?"

I slowly nodded, remembering the way those words were spoken. So soft and emotional and vulnerable. It made my breath hitch hearing them. I could sense how genuine and true those words were from her tone and it overwhelmed me.

Ava Lawrence loved me.

"Did you mean it the same way? When you said it back?"

There was hope in her eyes and I felt guilty. I didn't want to lie 'cuz I wasn't even sure myself.

"Honestly, I'm not sure," I looked away, unable to meet her eyes. "I love you, but I'm not sure how I mean it either." I glanced back at her. "But I do like you, Ava. I really like you."

"I can't say it's the exact answer I was hoping for," she gave me a small smile. "But I'll take whatever I can get."

I shook my head. "No, you deserve more than that. You deserve so much more, but I can't promise that to you, at least not yet."

My heart felt heavy reciting my own words but it was true. I didn't want to lead her on in case it wasn't gonna go anywhere even though I was certain it was.

But I just couldn't take the risk and watch her get hurt because of me.

"I need more time, Ava. I need time to figure this out. To figure my feelings out. I don't think I could live with myself if I end up hurting you. Plus, I still have Noah and Mason to think about..."

Even though they were the last things on my mind.

"I'll wait for you," she quickly said.

"Ava, don't."

"Let me, I've waited for you this long already. Might as well go all the way." She took both my hands in hers and said, "We'll figure this out together. You don't have to do this alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Do you trust me?"

"With my heart and soul."

She smiled. "Yes, I'm sure."

She stood up from the bed and made her way out of my room and out of my house with me in tow.

At the porch, she stopped walking and turned around to face me.

"I love you, Em. And no matter what you choose to do and what your feelings come to be, just know that I love you."

She was about to turn back and head to her car when I stopped her.

"I need you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"If you meet someone, don't wait for me. Don't let me stop you."

"But I want to."

"I know you do," I tugged her into me left her a small peck on the cheek, whispering against her skin. "But if you ever decide you don't want to anymore, don't wait. I'll catch up to you."

She held my gaze and slowly gave me a small, hesitant nod. I couldn't promise her my love or time or feelings right now, so I promised her the only thing I knew I could.

"I'll be there."

(More fics!)

#Ava x mc #Ava Lawrence #ava MTFL #MTFL #my two first loves #mtfl choices #choices #choices: stories you play #pb #pixelberry #playchoices #mtfl fanfiction #choices fanfiction #I’m just gonna add my song inspos for my fics in the tags #song inspiration: Do Not Wait by Wallows #thanks for reading!

[seokmingiggles]

65 song lyric prompts. (+ requests are now open!)

Happy three-month anniversary of me posting my first fic! To celebrate, I’ve decided to re-open my requests! This time, I’m opening requests for drabbles only (so I’ll be writing for pieces approximately 0.5-2k in length). As I am still in the middle of my semester, I do not want to have longer requests on the back burner to worry about (and I have far too many wips, too... remind me why I’m doing this again?).

Something else that I’m doing differently this time around is supplying some potential prompts to include with your desired member (or group if you’d like a surprise pairing; I enjoy doing that, too!). I will mention that the lyrics listed below are entirely optional to include in your request.

If you do decide to include a lyric in your request, I will either use it directly in your story or as a concept to determine the overall tone of the fic. (What I mean is, don’t be surprised if your chosen song lyric isn’t explicitly mentioned in your requested piece!)

The lyrics listed below are a blend of fluff and angst; feel free to include a specific genre in your request, too, if you’d like! And this is a friendly reminder that I won’t write anything regarding incredibly sensitive topics or NSFW. Here is my request faq page if you’d like a refresher!

(Lastly, here’s a quick shoutout to @woozisnoots​ for supplying me with the last three song lyrics on this list. Thanks again, Alex!)

"Those three words now are home." Broods; Four Walls.

"Come and kiss me slow." Niki; Spell.

"You'll be my best friend until we grow old." Jeremy Zucker, Chelsea Cutler; this is how you fall in love.

"So pull me tight and close your eyes." Jeremy Zucker, Chelsea Cutler; this is how you fall in love.

"I want to embrace you like I did then." Seventeen; Habit.

"I want things like they were before." 88rising, Niki, Phum Viphurit; Strange Land.

"The starlight of the day we saw together." Tomorrow x Together; Magic Island.

"The smile that you gave me." Billie Eilish; i love you.

"There's nothing stopping you from leaving." EDEN; love, death, distraction.

"Hold my breath another minute." The Japanese House; Lilo.

"Every move was just habitual." The Japanese House; Lilo.

"I keep looking for something even though I know that it's not there." The Japanese House; Maybe You're the Reason.

"We don't touch anymore." The Japanese House; We Talk all the Time.

"And all the ideas, and the hope I'd never ask him for, I'll throw them away." dodie; Cool Girl.

"And I'm kissing pillow lips, drunk off saccharine potions." Niki; Pandemonium.

"I won’t take you for granted because you loved me as I am." Seventeen; Fallin' Flower.

"I met you, and I realized that everything has a reason." Seventeen; Fallin' Flower.

"In my heart, it’s only you." Seventeen; Thanks.

"I'll disconnect and keep the heart safe; I replicate emotion." Chase Atlantic; LOVE IS (NOT) EASY.

"I remember your eyes in the moonlight, but I only get to see you in my mind." Daniel Schultz; Bad Company.

"Those little curls on the back of his head bouncing as he steps out of my life, forever." Tom Misch; Movie.

“Two lovers in this mystic dream.” Tom Misch; Movie.

“But would you realize what you meant to me, or was it mystery?” Tom Misch; Movie.

"But when I reach for you, there's just a supercut." Lorde, Supercut.

"In the starlight so blue, remember evenings so yellow." Miles Cameron; Caged Bird.

"I no longer dream of you, but your shirt's still in my dresser." Miles Cameron; Caged Bird.

"Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new." Arctic Monkeys; Do I Wanna Know?

"Thanks for listening to me out of pity." Gallant, Panasonic.

"Say what you want, but I've seen a million faces, and not even one can compete with watching you." Gallant, Céline.

"You are the sunlight that rose again in my life." BTS; Euphoria.

"When you called me, I became your flower." BTS; Serendipity.

"You're something like an angel; you do something to my mind." Pink Sweat$ (feat. Joshua & DK of SEVENTEEN); 17.

"I find solace riding in your front seat ‘till morning." Dizzy; Joshua.

"Think about your lips and the way they kiss; there's so much I really miss about you." Sam Smith; For the Lover That I Lost.

"Guess we'll never know all the beautiful things we could be." Sam Smith; Forgive Myself.

“I love that it's not hard to be in a place where laughing's easy.” Still Woozy; Goodie Bag.

"We don't need much outside of us, do we?" Lauv, Alessia Cara; Canada.

"The way I feel and the way we kiss, swear that nothing else in the world exists." Lauv; Invisible Things.

"Close your eyes; if you're tired, lean on me for a second." TAEMIN, WENDY; Be Your Enemy.

"And I know I like to draw that line when it starts to get too real." Troye Sivan; Talk Me Down.

"Just like the tall sky, the chilly wind, the vast ocean, you’ve become a part of the scenery that I take for granted." Seventeen; Smile Flower.

"We mess around, and laugh too loud, and make the sounds we try to hide when people are around." Conan Gray; Comfort Crowd.

"Flowers bloom even in the falling rain." Hwasa; LMM.

"Will I get to you a little faster if I was the snow in the air?" BTS; Spring Day.

"Wait a little bit, just a few more nights; I’ll be there to see you." BTS; Spring Day.

"But we're the greatest they'll hang us in the Louvre." Lorde; The Louvre.

"You asked for my heart, but I didn't know where to start." The Weeknd; Nothing Compares.

"And I know you don't love me so, but please say it once before I go." Matt Maltese; Even If It's a Lie.

“I hope it’s you they put me in the ground by.” Niki; Around.

"Collecting my thoughts just to keep them on inside." Thomston; April.

"I'm surprised when you kiss me." King Princess; 1950.

“You’re beautiful, that’s what you are, and I still don’t know how we fell in love.” Jeremy Zucker; orchid.

“I ask you just to hold me, hold me tightly, hold my body.” Wet, Body.

“I will lay down by your side; I will keep an open eye while you stare into the Sun.” Jeremy Zucker; hell or flying.

“Listen carefully, winter; you made me bloom. Now I will send forth my blue aroma with my branches; I'll show you that there's another sky.” Younha, RM; WINTER FLOWER.

“Some things stay, and some things fade.” Rei Brown; Wouldn’t It Be Great.

“I find her silhouette dances in the corners of my mind.” Rei Brown; Wouldn’t It Be Great.

“And in spite of it all, you’re still my everything.” Jeremy Zucker, Chelsea Cutler; emily.

“So do your worst to me.” Bruno Major; Just The Same.

“I don't need to take your heart; you keep yours, I'll keep mine.” Niki; Lose.

“I'm brittle at the parts where I wish I were strong.” Niki; Lose.

“Inside my blue dream, I want to hold you even if you say we can't.” J-Hope; Blue Side (Outro). 

“Heaven is in reach; does your heart skip a beat when I'm gone?” PARADISE RISING, Fern; Kaori.

“Sometimes is just sometimes, and you know, sometimes never stays.” khai dreams; Sandals.

“I only feel alive when I’m breathing in your air.” pretty havoc; goddess.

#requests #open requests #prompt list #lyric prompts #seventeen #seventeen x reader #bts #bts x reader

[gyll-yee-haw]

Lost on you

Reader x Sebastian Stan / Reader x Jake Gyllenhaal smut/angst

Hey, guess who’s back! (Hope y’all won’t hate me for this...) Buuut I had this idea and I really liked how it turned out, so I decided to share!

Prompt: You’re Jake’s girl, but you’re slowly falling in love with your co-star Sebastian. ALSO: this was inspired by “Lost on you” by Lewis Capaldi! Warnings: Little mention of age gap, smut in the end, but mentions of it in other parts too... and maybe a little sadness? Maybe a lot... Like 5k words... hope from the bottom of my heart that you like it, I’m kinda anxious lol

---

Everyday I'm a slave to the heartache And you're wasting away every night I don't wanna leave you lonely But I've run out of love this time You know that I adore you Though I couldn't give enough Hope you'll be safe in the arms of another 'Cause I can't take the weight of your love

We said goodbye with a cold kiss. He said "good luck", but he didn't say "I love you". His mistake was assuming that I knew he did. Now I was in a taxi in L.A. and Jake was in our apartment in New York. The taxi stopped in front of the studio and I took a deep breath. I always got so nervous before starting a new project. Now I was about to meet the cast for the new movie I'm starring. It was a romcom, shouldn't take too long to finish, and soon I'd be able to go back to New York and start working on another project... but not professional this time. Jake and I have been together for four years. Three wonderful ones. But the last one was based on fights and the two of us getting more and more distant. But God only knows how hard I fought to be with that man, and I'm not going to give up on him like that. That's why the plan is to be away for a while, shooting this movie until we miss each other so much and realise we're acting stupid... and the moment I step in New York again, we're going to make this work. We have to make this work. "Y/N!" I heard the director walking in my direction. "I'm happy you're here. How was your flight?" "Hi, nice to see you gain, Susan." I greeted the woman I had worked with a few times with a hug. "The flight was okay, I even had time to leave my bags at the hotel before coming." We had a nice conversation, but nothing really important was said. After a few minutes, she took me to meet the set and the part of the crew that was already there. Then she left me there talking to them and excused herself to go meet the ones who were still arriving. I was still a bit tired because of the travel, so I wasn't paying much attention to what was happening around me. Suddenly, I feel someone touch my arm and I turn around, imagining it was Susan. But no, it was another familiar face. "Hey." The man smiled at me and offered a polite, but kinda awkward hug, since he caught me off guard. "Susan told me you were already here. I believe we were on the same plane from New York, but I got stuck on the traffic..." "Oh... Yeah, L.A..." I rolled my eyes and smiled back at him. "Sorry, I didn't see you on the plane, we could have met before. I'm Y/N, by the way..." "Yes, I know your work, it's a pleasure to be able to work with you now." He said. "I'm Sebastian." "I know that too." I left out a little laugh. "I'm a huge Marvel nerd. I also loved your performance in I, Tonya, the Oscars really slept on you..." He got all flushed and left out a word you couldn't really understand. "What?" I mocked him. "You gotta learn how to take a compliment." He raised his eyebrows at me, but before he could say anything, Susan interrupted everyone's conversations by asking if we were ready to start. In the movie, Sebastian and I were best friends slowly falling in love. The classic: my character had a finacé, played by Richard Madden in this movie, and Sebatian's was running out of time to make mine change her mind about the wedding... that same movie we've seen a million times, but always makes us cry, even though we all know how it ends. The last scene we had to shoot today included a big kiss scene between Richard and I. I definitely wasn't mentally prepared for this on the very first day, but it was my job. "Alright, this is the last one, before we all can go home." Susan sat back on her chair and announced as Richard and I were trying to concentrate. "Ready, guys?" I gave her a quick nod. I looked beside her and saw Sebastian paying close attention to the scene as well. "Okay, then, action!" I turned to face Richard and we started to say our lines. It was all flowing perfectly, we were absolutely focused on what we were doing. When the time came, he looked me deep in the eyes and wrapped his arms around my waist, bringing me close, and brought his hand to my face, caressing my cheek a few times before we both closed our eyes and started to kiss each other hungrily. I'm not sure how long it lasted. But only when I heard Susan scream "cut" for the second time I realised I lost control a little bit... I mean... when was the last time Jake had kissed me like that? I was so needy, and all I got these days were cold, emotionless kisses. "Sorry, was that a bit too much?" I whispered to Richard, a little embarassed. "No, don't worry." He laughed. "It has to look real, right?" I nodded and gave him a smile before walked towards Susan, in desperate need to be excused. "I'm so excited." She announced before I could say anything. "Everyone did a great job today, I feel like this movie will be so beautiful..." She didn't even look at me and walked away to check the cameras after that last scenes. I was left alone with Sebastian. "That was really convincing." He said, noticing there was something bothering me. "Thanks..." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "But I... I don't think so, it was just... you know?" "Are you okay?" He asked. "I'm telling you, you did a great job, don't worry about it." I looked him in the eyes and saw that he was being honest. He was really worried about me. But he had no idea of the kind of problem I was dealing with, and it had nothing to do with my acting. "Thank you." I looked at the floor. I needed love and reassurance so bad that the fact that Sebastian was that nice to me almost made me cry. --- Back to my hotel, I kept walking in circles with my phone in my hands. I should call Jake and let him know I got here safely. But, at the same time, part of me was telling myself "You left several hours ago and didn't get a single text from him asking if you were okay". But you know what? I would feel a lot worse if I got a lovely text from my boyfriend after kissing my co-star like he was the love of my life. I just need to hear his voice... A little wave of courage hit me and I called him before it could disapper. "Y/N?" He replied quickly. Maybe he was waiting for me to call? That thought brought a smile to my face. "Hey." I said, trying to control myself to not sound like a fan meeting their idol, even though that's how it felt. "Just wanted to let you know I'm fine. I'm in my hotel... we already shot a few stuff..." "It's great to hear from you." He said in a sweet voice and I melted. "How is the cast like?" We spent half an hour talking about my day and it filled my heart with hope. He also told me about his play, that would debut in Brodway in a few months. I was excited for him as well. "Alright..." I said, a bit sad. "Listen, I gotta go now... it's getting late and we'll shoot really early tomorrow." "Okay. Call me again when you can." He told me. "Goodnight!" "Goodnight!" I replied. "I love y-" Before I could finish the phrase, he wasn't there anymore. I tried to convince myself that I shouldn't let that last minute ruin the good conversation we had... but would it hurt to tell me he loves me?

---

I was waiting for my taxi in front of the hotel, when I heard someone talking to me. "Come here often?" The man said. I was ready to turn around and kick him in the balls, when I realised it was Sebastian. We both laughed. "Be careful how you approach me. I'm warning you." I tried to sound serious. "You gave me one look and my life flashed before my eyes." He told me. "Trust me, I won't do it again." "Good." I smiled triumphantly. "But, answering your question... Yeah, I'm staying here." "In this hotel?" He looked at me confused. "Me too. How were we on the same plane and now at the same hotel and we never see each other? Are you some kind of spy?" "You just suck at following me." I shrugged. "But, luckily, always end up at the same place, right?" "Luckily?" "You gotta learn how to take a compliment." He repeated my phrase from the day before. "I-" I felt my cheeks burning. Alright, that looked like a fun game to play. "Well, you gotta learn how to compliment me first. That hardly counted as one." "Why are you blushing then?" He smirked. "I hope you know that I have a boyfriend." I decided to cut him before things went too far. "Of course, you're always on the news." He replied with the same smile on his face he had before. He wasn't being serious at all, and that relaxed me. "He's one of the greatests actors I've ever seen, by the way." It was true, Jake and I were always on the news. But not usually for good reasons. We met about 10 years ago and I fell in love straight away. The problem is that we have a (kinda big) age gap... and he obviously didn't take me serious 10 years ago, when I was barely 18. But I've been obsessed with that man all those years. Until 4 years ago, when we were cast on the same movie, I finally showed him I am a big girl and I know what I want. The problem is that the media just doesn't understand that and they just keep making up the most disgusting theories about our relationship. They know nothing about us. Sebastian and I shared the taxi to the studio, and decided it would be a nice thing to do everyday, since we were going to the same place, anyway. And so we did. Day after day we started to grow very close as friends. And we continued that stupid joke, flirting with each other every chance we got. But one day, I noticed Seb was a little different during our ride to the studio. A bit quiet, didn't really reply to my flirts. I thought he was just not in the mood that day, and I should respect that. I wasn't given the script for that day's scene until I got to the studio. Then I sat there to read and Richard sat beside me. "Are you ready?" He smirked. "For..?" I asked, still focused on the pages in my hands. "You'll record a sex scene with Sebastian today." He replied calmly, but it felt like a punch in the stomach. So is that why he was so weird? Was he nervous? "No big deal, we're professionals." I didn't know if I was trying to fool him or myself. Sebastian was such a good friend during these hard times... some nights I tried to call Jake and he didn't reply or was too cold on the phone, and I knew I could simply knock on Seb's door, or somedays it felt like he could read my mind, and he would knock on mine first, so we both went to the hotel's bar or just sat in each other's bedroom and talked for hours. Laughed for hours. He told me everything about his childhood, moving from country to country, and I, after drinking a little too much, told him all about my situation with Jake. God, he was so good for me. And I didn't want things to get weird like they got when I kissed Richard... without Seb, I would have gone crazy alone in this city. I felt like my heart was going to explode as I watched the crew prepare the scene. Seb was standing beside the couch of the fake living room as Susan explained to him how things would work. He looked as nervous as me and I hated it. "Y/N?" Susan called. "Can we start now?" I stood up like I was going to a funeral. I just hoped it wasn't our friendship's funeral. After hearing a few instructions as well, I sat down beside Seb and gave him a little smile, and he gave me a even weaker one in return. Sebastian's hand landed on my thigh and he added preassure very slow and gently. My eyes were on his fingers until he moved his body a little closer to mine on the couch. Then my eyes met his blue ones, deeper than I've ever seen them before. "You should be with someone who never makes you feel alone." He whispered as his lips got closer to mine. "Not even when he's not around." Maybe my head was really fucked up, but he didn't seem to be talking about our characters. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, so I felt Seb's lips on mine for the first time... and I swear, it tasted like heaven when his tongue rolled agaisnt mine. His hands went to my skirt, bringing it up a bit, then worked on unzipping his pants. For a moment, I forgot his underwear wasn't coming off too. But that was only when I felt him grinding against me, and he was so deliciously hard that we both moaned at the same time. That would look as realistic as if he had actually entered me on the movie... cause that's why we are doing this for, anyway... When the director said "cut", Sebastian lips were on my neck and I heard him mutter the most frustrated "fuck" ever. I was so wet that I was terrified that I would leave a mark on the couch for everyone to see how extremely much I needed Seb. The whole studio was dead silent. I wanted to vanish in the air. Took Sebastian a moment to get away from me. The atmosphere was terrible, everyone was uncomfortable. But maybe it was just the way I was feeling and, in my imagination, everyone felt the same. --- I didn't even look Seb in the eyes until the next morning, in the taxi. I thanked God he was such a good actor... we both simply pretended none of that happened, no word about that was spoken. Maybe I was overreacting and nothing really happened to our friendship. --- The weeks seemed to fly and we finished shooting. Next step was doing a bunch of interviews to promote the movie. I don't remember having all that fun in a while... all Seb and I did was joke around and run away from the questions during the interviews. The critics loved the movie and there were entire essays about our sex scene online. People just couldn't believe two actors had all that chemistry. Well... we were a great team, me and him. That's all. We just had to ignore the fans shipping us and ignoring the fact that I had a boyfriend. When it was finally time to go back to New York, I thought I would be a lot happier than I actually was. I had a great time and didn't want it to end so soon... everything was so tense back at home... "At least Seb and I live in the same city." As soon as that idea crossed my mind, I felt absolutely terrible. I was actually sad about going back to my man, and what made me feel better was that I'd have Seb to come back to when I needed? It wasn't fair. Not for me. Not for Jake. Not for Sebastian. That's why I had to solve this situation as soon as I got home. --- But I only knew how fucked up I was on the moment I opened the door at our house. Jake was there and he smiled at me.   And I had no idea what I wanted anymore. Half of me was so happy because he was there. Half of me wished he wasn't and I had an excuse to walk away. His hug wasn't as cold as I expected, but it was far from being as warm as I needed. We went to the bedroom kissing each other and bumping into everything that was on the way. But when he laid on top of me, I didn't see the same fire in his eyes. Neither did I feel it between my legs. And it didn't matter at all how big he was, when he entered me I felt so empty. At heart. We were completely out of love and both of us knew that. He fucked me so hard, like he was trying to feel something that wasn't there anymore. --- Seb tried to contact me several times, but I kept ignoring him. And God only knows it hurted me more than him. But I didn't want to give up on Jake. Even though the situation was getting worse everyday. Now I was sitting in our bedroom, doing my make up to go watch the first night of Jake's play on Broadway. Preparing myself to act like we were in love in front of the cameras. --- When we finally got rid of all the empty questions and the flashes, Jake took me backstage, where he received a few special guests. Tom Hiddleston was there. Maggie too. I spotted a few other familiar faces, until a special one made you freeze. "What are you doing here?" I walked til where Sebastian were. "Hi. It's nice to see you again too." He said seriously. "Well, Jake invited me. Didn't he tell you he's producing a movie I'll be in?" "He doesn't tell me much." I shrugged. The play had started. All the guests went somewhere else to watch it, but I stood there in the backstage with Seb. "Why did you disappear like that?" He asked as soon as we were alone. "Because I wanted this to work. Me and him." I admitted. "And what does it have to do with me?" He said angrily. "I never did absolutely anything to tear you two apart. I accepted your choice from the start." "There's no choice, Sebastian." I defended myself. "Of course there is." He rolled his eyes. "You chose to keep things the way they are because you're scared of changes. You think it's comfortable to stay in a place that doesn't make you happy, because it once did, and if you move on, you may break your heart again." "Why do you think you know me so well?" I was shocked at how he just threw all the truth I was hiding right on my face. "Because we spent months opening up to each other. Every single night. I don't know about you, but I told you things nobody else ever knew about me." He admitted. "And I have no idea why I trusted you so easily, but I surely wasn't ready for you to just walk out of my life like that." "Seb..." I felt tears starting to come. "I'm so in love with you,Y/N." As soon as those words left his lips, a bunch of people started to appear out of nowhere and fill the backstage. I realised the play was over. I spotted Jake coming in my direction and quickly dried my eyes. --- It was a big night. I tried my best to be proud of Jake, but I couldn't focus on that. That made me feel so selfish... I just couldn't be here to support him anymore, so what am I even doing here? Jake was laying in bed, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. I sat beside him and told him: "We need to talk." "We do." He agreed. "We probably should have done this before, right?" "Since you stopped telling me you love me." I felt the tears coming back. "Hey." He sat back and used his finger to wipe my tears away. "You know I'll always love you. Just... not like this anymore. I thought we should give it another try, but..." "I'll always love you too." I gave him a little sad smile. "I'm so happy for the times we had." He added. "But we don't wanna ruin it waiting for someone to cheat or be unhappy forever." "Jake... I think I'm in love with someone else." I admitted. Both for him and for myself for the first time. "It's not that hard to tell." He chuckled. "I saw the interviews. I've met someone too. I'm not sure if it's love. But I know that you and Sebastian..." "I swear we never, ever, had anything before this conversation." I interrupted him. "And I don't think I will now. He's really hurt." "Go after him." He encouraged me, making my heart stop for a moment. "What?" --- It was cold in New York. Nearly 1am and I absolutely couldn't believe I was sitting in my car, parked in an empty street. I grabbed my phone and didn't think twice. "Hello?" Sebastian answered and I knew there was no turning back now. "Seb?" I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" "No, it's fine, I couldn't sleep..." He sighed. "Listen, Y/N, I'm so sorry about the way I spoke to you earlier, you owe me absolutely nothing and I..." "I was stupid and ended up making the three of us suffer." I cut him. "But now I'm in front of your house, and if you don't forgive me, I have nowhere to spend the night." "Wait..." He said, confused. "You're in front of my house?" None of us said another word. When I saw the front door open, I got out of my car and we looked at each other for a moment. Suddently, I wasn't thinking anymore. I ran to his arms and he pulled me inside the house, closing the door behind us. His lips were pressed against mine and his hands were absolutely all over me. And, God, it was better than before, because now it was us. Just us. And we didn't have to stop anymore. He guided me towards the living room and sat down on the couch, pulling me with him, so I fell on his lap. Without breaking the kiss for a second, I adjusted, keeping one leg on each side of him. His hands went straight to my ass, squeezing it hard. My hands went to his abdomen and he helped me remove his shirt. I didn't even wait for him to do the same with mine. His eyes landed on my breasts as my bra fell on his lap. He grabbed my waist and broght me closer to him, burying his face and my chest and spreading open mouthed kisses on my breasts. I began to moan and grind my hips against his lap, feeling him getting hard under me. I remembered the last time I felt this and how frustrating it was... "Y/N..." He called. "Please, don't stop." I begged. "I just have to be sure you really want this." He smirked. "But I don't think I have to ask, do I?" I shook my head and helped him remove my pants, quickly sitting on his lap again. His fingers slowly trailed my underwear, until he decided to slide them inside it, caressing my folds very gently. "But what if I want to hear it?" He teased. "Do you think it's that easy? You ignore me for weeks, but then you just knock on my door and I give you what you want?" He slid one finger inside me and I left another moan escape. "Look at how wet you are." He slid another finger in, but didn't move. "If you were my girl, I'd do something about it... but you know very well I don't play with what is not mine." "Seb... please..." I tried to move my hips, but he hold my waist with the other hand so strongly, I would see a mark there tomorrow. "Fuck... if you were my girl, I'd treat you right." He removed his fingers from me and used them to pull down his pants and palm his hard cock over his underwear. "I'll be your girl. I came here to be your girl. Your good girl." I promised, feeling my mouth water just from seeing how big he looked. "I've been yours, and only yours, since the day we kissed for the first time, I know you felt that too..." "You have no idea how long I waited to hear that." He told me, returning his hands to my underwear, to take it off and throw it somewhere else in the room. "And you have no idea how long I waited to tell you that." I bit my lip as I watched him pull his underwear down, and seeing his hard cock already leaking. The look on his eyes gave me the permission I needed before his lips could. I raised my hips and he pulled me close and entered me, guiding my hips up and down with no time to adjust, cause we needed each other that much. I always imagined Seb as a gentle lover, but right now we just needed to fuck. Hard. Fast. Loud. We just had to let all our frustrations out. I came first, falling on his chest, seeing stars. He slowed down his pace a little, but didn't stop until he came inside me. And none of us really cared about that at the moment. I was there, laying on his chest while he ran his fingers through my spine in silence. And that was the first time in months I felt completety in peace. "Do you mean what you said?" He asked calmly. "Every single word." I smiled and snuggled closer to him.

Lately I'm getting lost on you You got me doing things I never thought I'd do Never spent so long on a losing battle But lately giving up don't seem to matter

#jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal fanfic #jake gyllenhaal x you #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal x y/n #Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan smut #smut #angst #jake gyllenhaal imagine #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan imagine

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 4k

Warnings: mention of sexual assault, swearing, smoking, implied smut

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 18 Part 20

Part 19

It took over two hours to get ready. I don't know how celebrities did this all the time. I enjoy dressing up, but not when I know the pictures will be circulated widely, and every time someone types into google "Liam Cross's girlfriend", images of tonight will come up. It freaked me out.

I trusted Liam when he said the dress was right, and I trusted Jen. She had only just started dating Riza when Andy and I got married, so although she hadn't done my hair and makeup, I had seen her work and the brides always looked good. So when I asked her to do my makeup for the premiere, I didn't think twice. I regretted that when Jen took the pins out of my hair.

"Jen, I look like Orphan Annie," I complained.

She just laughed and said, "trust me." She started to work a brush through my hair while humming Tomorrow. I groaned.

But as she worked the brush, the curls started to join together, and beautiful waves appeared in my hair.

"You're a genius," I said to Jen when I finally worked out what she was doing.

Jen blushed and just kept brushing. "I have always wanted to do this to your hair. You have such a timeless facial structure. I knew it would be perfect for you and for tonight."

She did my makeup in a beautiful smokey eye and deep red lipstick. It was not too dissimilar to what I would do for myself, but she added fake lashes, brushed and plucked my eye-brows and did some light contouring. She even checked my legs and arms for marks and bruises, covering any she could find.

Jen helped me dress and double-checked everything, including any visible panty line. I couldn't see how it would be possible to have a panty line since I had gotten the smallest underwear I could find, which was a string attached to a triangle of lace.

When I was ready, I looked in the dressing room's full-length mirror. I almost cried in relief. I felt like I would fit in and not look like I had a face like a dropped pie. Jen had done a fantastic job with my hair, and I looked like a cross between Rita Hayworth and Jessica Rabbit. I adored the old Hollywood style. I thanked her a million times, and she went downstairs to get Liam and Riza.

I paced the bedroom waiting for them to come back. Being alone in the room had allowed my anxieties to creep back in. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, in through my nose and out through my mouth. The dress was tight, and I couldn't quite breathe deeply enough. But I was not going to ruin this night with my anxiety. I was not. My guts didn't care what my brain was telling itself. They churned and flipped in my belly until I thought I was going to be sick.

"Lana," Liam said from the doorway. He was alone. Riza and Jen must have waited downstairs. I gasped as I took him in. The was wearing a black woollen three-piece suit with a black tie and crisp white cotton shirt with onyx cuff links. He had was clean-shaven and had his hair combed down in little waves. He looked like he had stepped off the movie screen. He looked so perfect.

"You look incredible," I tell him.

He laughed, "No, Sweetheart. Not next to you, I don't." He crossed the space between us and took my hands, spreading them wide to get a good look. "You are a vision."

I blushed and said, "I feel sick."

Liam shook his head, "you're going to do great." Liam lead me to the dressing room and stood behind me in front of the mirror. "Sweetheart, look at yourself. Look at your hair," he touched it cautiously, just above my ear, as if scared his feather-light touch would ruin it.

"Do you know how much money some women would pay to have hair as spectacular as yours? And your body, the way it curves and moves with such grace. Your skin is so delicate and as smooth as silk." Liam ran his finger down my neck until I shivered and smiled. "And that smile, my Sweetheart, You don't know what lengths I will go to for that smile. It would make Helen of Troy hang her head in despair."

"Thank you," I said. "I needed that."

"It's true." Liam kissed my forehead tenderly, his lips just barely brushing my skin. "I want to kiss you. But I'm under very strict instructions from Jen not to. But be prepared for an attack after the red carpet." He kissed my neck with as much care as before and sighed. Then he seemed to shake himself off and asked, "are you ready to go?"

I nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Ok, let's go downstairs. Apparently, we have some pictures to take."

The drive to the cinema was short, but the limousines' line was long. I barely remember anything until our car was the next in line. Liam had been going through a last-minute rundown of what should happen.

"Remember, I will get out first and wave a bit.  Just wait until I turn around, and I will help you out of the car." I nod, and he continues. "Then we will both stand in front of the car. I might wave again, but you don't have to. Just smile. Once we get past the initial photographers, there will be fans, and then there may be some interviews. Do you remember what will happen there?"

"You will sign some autographs and take some pictures. I'm to follow you. You're going to hold my hand the whole time through that part, right?" I asked.

Liam took my hand and lifted it to his lips, pressing a kiss into my palm. "Nothing could make me let it go." He said sincerely. "If there are interviews, they are usually very short, only a few questions. They may ask you who you are, and I'll introduce you, and you smile and say hi. I doubt they will ask you anything other than how you're enjoying the night, but if they do, I'll handle it."

"Ok," I murmured. "I wish I had a ciggie."

Liam smiled, "If you still want one when we're done, I'll find you one. The last part is where the main paparazzi photos will be taken. They will want photos of both of us, but they will also want ones of just me. Usually, they will call out something like "fashion", and that means you can walk to the cinema and some publicists or assistants will take you into the foyer, and you can wait for me there. Ok?"

I nodded and felt bile rise in my throat. I swallowed hard, but it wouldn't go away. My mouth filled with saliva, and I kept trying to swallow it.

"Lana?"

"Air." I gasped. "I need air,"

I put down my window just as Liam shouted, "no, Lana! Don't!"

The roar I heard was like being at a footie Grand Final. I was confronted with hundreds of screaming faces lining the road opposite the cinema. Their eyes were wild. Their bodies bounced and writhed in joy and excitement. They lifted posters and toys, screaming for Liam Cross.

Liam leaned over me and, waving at the crowd, quickly pressed the button to put the window up.

"What the fuck was that?" I yelled.

"Fans."

"You didn't tell me they would be on both sides!"

"I didn't think you would put your window down."

"Your life..." I started.

"Isn't normal." We both finished.

Liam laughed, "on the plus side Lana, you have your colour back. Do you still feel sick?"

I shook my head.  "No. Now I'm just terrified." The limo started moving.

I gripped Liam's hand as if we were nearing the top of a roller coaster. He ran his thumb over my knuckles and said, "We can still go home if you want." He cupped my cheek and looked at me. The car stopped.

I shook my head. "Just don't leave me."

He smiled and kissed my neck. His skin felt different, having shaved, but his kiss was still the same. "Never." He whispered.

The door was opened, and Liam got out.

I breathed deeply, trying to calm. The dress was bloody tight. Then Liam's hand was there, and I took it.

His eyes found mine, and I fell into them. He smiled his most beautiful smile, the one where his cheeks and eyes crinkled and his teeth flashed. I found myself unable to stop my smile. How could I not smile when he looked so happy.

As I stood up, his hand came around my waist, and he pulled me tight. He leaned into my ear and said loud enough to be heard over the roar of the crowd and the shouts from the photographers, "Thank-you for doing this, Lana." He kissed my ear so swiftly I thought I had imagined it.

The procession down the red carpet went as he said it would. The fans were electric and not as frightening as I thought they would be. Some even tried to talk to me, which was awkward because I had no idea what to say. I just tried to be polite and smiled.

Liam was amazing. He never let go of my hand. One-handed, he signed autographs, shook hands, gave hugs and took selfies. He was so charming, looked the fans in the eye, seemed genuinely happy and interested to hear what they had to say. He even blushed when some of the fans oohed after he had run his fingers through his hair. Just watching how much he seemed to love this part of his job made me forget a lot of my own anxieties.

Liam was a bit different with the interviewers, more alert and guarded. But his charm and wit were still there. A few interviewers, mostly the more gossipy outlets, asked about me. The film focussed ones largely ignored me. I hoped I gave coherent responses, and Liam was as good as his word and stepped in when he needed to and took control of the interviews. I couldn't believe how many times he had to answer the same questions, and he answered each with as much enthusiasm as he had the first time he was asked.

Quicker than I thought, we stopped for the last row of photographers. They shouted for Liam's attention and were almost as loud as the fans. When the time came for Liam to do photos on his own, he brushed his lips against my neck and said in my ear, "Lana, you were perfect. Go on. I'll be with you in a minute."

I went to the end and was greeted by the publicists who ushered me into the crowded cinema foyer. I found a quiet corner and waited for about five minutes before I saw Liam practically barge his way through the crowd, his eyes searching until he saw me.

He grabbed my hips and kissed my mouth so hard I thought they would bruise.

"Lana, that was perfect. Thank you for doing that with me."

I smiled a genuine, relaxed smile for the first time in hours and asked, "so it's over?"

"It's over," Liam confirmed.

I exhaled with relief and said, "you'd have to be the only person in the world I would ever go through that for."

Liam kissed me again, softer this time, lips playing against mine, "you don't know how much that means to me." He hugged me tightly before staring at me and smiling at his goofy grin. Then he said, "come on, Sweetheart. I have a few people I'd like to introduce you to. If you are up for it, that is. Do you need more time?" I shook my head, and he led me into the crowd.

Liam grabbed my hand and moved fast through the crowd, briefly saying hi to some people on the way.

I saw Myra come in from the red carpet, and I pointed her out to Liam. Liam waved her over, and she waved back then held her hand up in a 'give me a second' gesture. She went to the corner I had been hiding in and kissed a man I assumed was her boyfriend and brought him over.

I liked her instantly. She was bubbly and happy. It was like she was famous enough to be bored by the goings-on around her, but still new enough that she hadn't developed the jaded 'here we go again' attitude that you would expect.

"Phew! That was crazy tonight. I'd say that's your fault, Liam. No one else here is big enough to pull a crowd that big." She leaned over and kissed his cheeks in the European style. "Thanks for doing it, mate. I mean, it'll be good for Stones but still, it'll help with this movie too."

Liam smiled, "Don't mention it." Liam pulled me closer and introduced me.

Myra smiled widely and pulled me into a hug. She was a few years younger than me, and she was beautiful. She had gorgeous thick dark hair, cheekbones to die for under radiant umber skin, which appeared to be without a blemish and striking sea-green eyes. She was very tall, almost as tall as Liam, but very thin. She felt so delicate when I hugged her back, but it was evident from her speech and body language; she wasn't a shrinking violet.

"Hey babes, so good to meet you. I've heard so much. You look so good. That's from Maticevski, right? Great choice. I love him." I usually cringe when I hear the word 'babes'. I think of Married at First Sight for some reason. However, coming from Myra, it just sounded sweet.

"Thanks. Liam has spoken about you too."

"Yeah, Pop has been good to me," Myra said, throwing a look at Liam that made his eyes roll.

"It's twelve years, Myra, hardly Grandfather territory."

"It's not your age. It's your attitude." She said in a snarky but playful way. "Anyway, this is my Damo. Well, Damien, but nobody calls him that." Damo smiled awkwardly and shook our hands.

Myra wrapped her arms around his waist and said teasingly, "Aww, he's shy." From the look Damo gave Myra, I'd say smitten was a better way to describe him. He's tall like Liam, and though muscular, you could tell it came from physical labour, not a gym. He had a surfie look about him with his sun-bleached shoulder long hair and tanned skin.

"I'm going for a smoke before the movie starts," Damo said to Myra.

"Can Lana have one?" Liam asks. "She has quit, but she said she would like one." I looked at Liam with gratitude, and Damo and I went behind the theatre where a smoking area was set up.

We could still hear a lot of activity going on out the front, but it appeared most of the excitement was over. Damo lit our cigarettes, and I leaned against the wall, relishing the nicotine flowing through me.

Damo laughed, "you look how I feel. Over it."

"Yeah, it's full-on, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's bullshit crazy."

"So, where do you live? How did you meet Myra and get wrapped up in this bullshit?" I asked with genuine interest. He seemed even more out of place here than I did.

Damo told me he was from the Northern Beaches and was in the year above Myra at school. He had asked her to his Year 12 formal, and she accepted, but she had cancelled to go to Melbourne for her first major acting role. "So, I don't hear from her for years, but she finds me on Instagram through old mates from school, and she tells me that I owe her a date."

"That's kinda cute."

"Yeah, surprised the fuck out of me, though. Like, why'd ya wanna go out with a sparky from the Northern Beaches."

I smiled at him, knowing the feeling. "Maybe all this bullshit gets to them, and they want someone real? Someone who doesn't want anything from them except their time and affection."

Damo smiles and nods his head. "I reckon you're onto something. So what's your story?"

I don't tell him all the details but that we met online and I didn't know who he was until I met him. "It was a complete shock when I found out who I'd been talking to."

"Fair dinkum? You met him three weeks ago?" I nodded, "It took Myra five months to convince me to go to one of these things."

I laughed, "Yeah, well, I just thought better get it over with. The sooner people can get over that Liam has a new girlfriend, the quicker I can get back to normal and not worry about it."

Damo nodded and said, "yeah, I hope so too. Myra's life can get pretty crazy."

We finished our cigarettes and went back inside. We had hardly gotten through the door when we were whisked away by our partners because the movie was about to start.

After the movie, there was a small after-party for industry people only. The people who had won tickets or were friends of friends weren't invited. Liam, of course, was invited and had planned not to go. Myra pleaded with him to stay, so when he looked at me asking the silent question, I nodded, already getting the feeling not many people could say no to Myra. Myra bounced around and hugged us both.

Liam introduced me to a few other people, including Boyd, who turned out to be an outrageous flirt and a shit-stirrer. He seemed harmless and just enjoyed taking the piss out of people. He also told me something interesting about Liam that I planned to bring up with him later.

Liam also introduced me to the showrunner Arianna, who was essentially his boss. Finally, I was introduced to Naomi, who was to play Boyd's love interest, and she was also in the movie we had just watched. The Australian film industry is pretty small.

Naomi was the opposite of Myra, friendly on the outside but was one of those people who always seemed to be looking around when you talked to them to see if there was someone more interesting or more advantageous she should be speaking to. She had icy blue eyes, bombshell blonde hair, amazing breasts and a nose that was so perfect it had to have been a nose job.

She flirted hard with Liam, touching his arm, letting it linger that little bit too long. She ignored me mostly, except when she threw me some side-eye. Liam seemed to take it in his stride, polite but not friendly, until she 'accidentally' brushed her breasts against his arm.

Liam seemed to have enough, and his eyes went dark. He put his hand to my back and practically pushed me out, saying we were leaving. His tone didn't leave much room for argument, but I wanted to know why he left so suddenly when things had been going well, and I actually enjoyed the party. I was also feeling bad that I didn't say goodbye to Myra and the others.

Liam's limo was waiting outside, and he ushered me in quickly. Liam texted Myra to say goodbye and to let the others we left. "Myra won't mind. She knows how I feel about Naomi."

I said hi to our driver before turning to Liam. "Is there a history there?" I ask. My voice was small.

Liam scoffed, "she wishes." He sighed and stretched his neck. He took his jacket off, opened his vest and loosed his tie. I looked at him expectantly. He taps the driver on the shoulder and apologises, but he's going to put the screen up.

When the screen was in place, Liam started to roll his sleeves up. It seemed like he was stalling. Eventually, he said, "I suppose I had better tell you. Naomi was cast a couple of weeks ago. The original actress playing her part fell pregnant and didn't want to commit to a series. She comes in for a table read, and I felt bad for her coming in late because the rest of the main cast had a couple of months together already. Myra knew her and said to avoid her, but I thought, well, I have to work with her should get to know her. We had a chat after the read, then she follows me back to my dressing room and long story short, she takes her shirt off and grabs my cock."

"What did you do?" My green-headed monster was in full battle mode. He better have a good and believable answer.

"I threw her out ." He shrugged. "Shit like that happens all the time. What she doesn't know is that word gets around, and soon she will be seen as toxic and won't get hired. Although I think she aims to bag a guy with money and never work again."

I believed him. I was going to have to get this jealousy thing under control. It was new to me. I don't think I had ever been jealous before, even with Andy. I looked out of the window, letting the night beauty of Sydney calm me down.

Liam put his arm around me and rested his chin on my shoulder. "So was it so terrible?" Liam asked dramatically. "The premiere, I mean."

I looked at him, his blue eyes bright again. "Not all of it," I smiled at him.

"What were the good parts?"

I ran my finger across his jaw, his skin was so smooth. I missed the three-day-growth, but he looked just as amazing without it. "I liked meeting Myra."

He smiled, "I knew you'd like her."

"And the movie was good."

"Anything else?" Liam ran a finger across my collarbone

"The free popcorn and drinks."

Liam chuckled, and his finger ran up my neck. "Anything else?"

"They have great chairs in the theatre," he was turning me on. I heard it in my voice. My heart started to beat louder.

"Is that all?" He asked with his rough, horny voice. He lifted my chin.

"The bathrooms were good too."

He traced my lips with his finger. "Is that all that was good about tonight?"

"Tonight's not over. Ask me again in the morning." He slipped his finger into my mouth, and my body was on fire. Even after all I had been through, the stress and panic, my body still responded to his touch. I sucked his finger gently, and his eyes widened.

"You're very naughty, Lana." He said as he withdrew his finger and shuffled in his seat.

"I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way," I said in my best Jessica Rabbit imitation.

Liam's eyes widened then narrowed. "What did Boyd tell you?"

"Tell me? Nothing?" I tried to look innocent, but I'm not an actress.

"Never mind." Liam blushed.

"Hang on, who is your favourite Disney Princess?"

"I'm not a child, Lana." He looked a little uncomfortable.

I pouted. "Come on. Everyone has one."

"Who is yours?"

"Moana, although I don't know if she counts as a Princess cause she's a chief's daughter. My second is Belle. Tell me yours."

"Ariel." Liam looked out the window.

"Favourite spice girl?"

"I don't like pop music. " I raised my eyebrow at Liam. He paused a long time before answering. "Geri."

"Which one of John Snow's girlfriends was hotter with Ygritte or Daenerys?" I was having fun with it. I don't think I'd ever seen him squirm so much.

"Ygritte, Lana, do you mind?"

"No, no, just one more." I was trying not to burst out laughing. I knew I must have had a huge smirk on my face, "Mary-Anne or Ginger?"

"For fucks sake, yes, ok, I have always had a thing for redheads."

I couldn't hold it any longer, and I burst out laughing. I laughed so hard, Liam eventually had to join in. "I'm sorry." I said, "What are you going to do to Boyd?"

"Unfortunately, Lana, it looks like I will be busy for the next 25 years because I will have to kill him."

Part 20

#original character #original story #original fiction #romantic story #happy ever after

[levis-hazelnut]

This is a vent.

You can do what you want with this post but please do read the part from where your name starts in bold and pink.

I have decided it's okay for me to type my thoughts out here In tumblr. Safer than my journal at least lol

So I'm doing okay but I also feel like shit for the past few days lol. To the point where I cried myself to sleep. Ever felt like crying badly but the tears won't come out but you can't even act frustrated? Yeah that too.

I'll be honest. I changed schools so now I have about 3 supportive friends but we haven't interacted much.

My friends from my previous school are really very cool and supportive and it is because of them, I had a thought of exploring me and thinking about my sexuality and everything.

I have a lot of friendship problems. Im kinda losing touch with My friends from the previous school and i saw it coming almost 1 years ago. But I still talk to them bc I like them. I have been betrayed and neglected and taken for granted by loads of people who were my friends. We're still in touch but there is a disconnection.

I really considered them my friends. I trusted them. I was looking for a special bond with them. But it never happened. Half of them betrayed and verbally bullied me. Some of them strayed away. Some were Influenced by other bullies. Some took me for granted.

I'm awkward at voicing out my true feelings. I wanted them to know through my actions how much they meant to me, how I bragged about how nice they were, how I loved it when we went on little adventures and screamed and laughed. But they just had to go away.

My one and only lovely best friend moved away and now we live about 2000 kms apart but we still talk and she supports me (and simple for me lol) and she is kinda like one of the top reasons I'm sane rn. I'm very grateful to have her.She sometimes visits my blog through Google and reads my fics.

I've been having depressive episodes since last year. It's definitely better than last year bc back then, I used to cry in secret like- every single day. Including my birthday. I've actually kinda mastered the art of masking my feelings.

On top of that I have family problems. My dad is not really emotionally present. I hate to say this but my mom kinda victimizes herself. Evertime they have fights, I hear and notice this. It pisses me off but the points they make about themselves make sense. Eventually they make up and they sat down and made me under stand that nothing is gonna happen but it mentally affects me a lot.

Believe me when I say that I love my parents. But I'm growing distant. On top of that there is some toxic advice and they are homophobic oof.

I know there are millions of people with more worse conditions than mine and when I think about this, I get sad and start to invalidate my feelings but with the help of some motivational people, I understand that my problems are valid and I'm allowed to feel sad. At this point I'm like my own supporter. I'm proud of it.

Every time I see jean, I relate to him a lot. Putting a strong front for others but your terrified inside. (Also thighs mm)

So Hazel. Listen to me

When I found out of tumblr and fanfics, I was overjoyed. I spend weeks reading comfort fics by many different authors including yours and it made me feel safe.

I finally decided to make an account and follow people. I mostly interacted with you. There are so many blogs and moots that I follow now, and now I'm not shy or scared to interact with them.

You know why? Because of you.

It is from your blog I first felt like I could feel safe. I never felt weird about going in your inbox more than once. Everytime you responded I felt butterflies. After that when you followed me back, I actually almost cried. Every single time I saw you in my dash, inbox or responding to me, or just interacting with your fellow moots, I felt happy.

And after that I met amber, izzy, and so many cool moots. If we ever met In real love I wouldn't hesitate to give you a big hug and thank you.

Hazel baby when I say I love you, I fucking mean it.

I love you. I love you so much

I love all of my moots, and people who I interact with every day. I found so many supportive people and people from the lgbtq and people who share the same thoughts here.

Thank you for being you.

I hope you never forget how much I admire you. I'm almost tearing up as I write this. All of you guys give me so much motivation to move forward in my life.

himani please the way you had me crying because of this i love you so so so much i cant stress it enough

(imma put a read more cos this got kinda long lol)

im so happy that you found a safe space and you feel comfortable enough to tell me all of this too. you have me on discord as well and i'd always be happy to listen to you if you need to talk or just to simply simp over 2d people lmao

and im so sorry that you've been feeling terrible, it honestly breaks my heart and i wish there was something i could do. i'd hold you and be there to fight everyone for you if i could. if those friends dont keep in touch with you, they'll be missing out and they'd be losing such a precious and amazing person. but once you lose something you always gain something - thats something i've realised so you will find the right people that will stick by you for a very long time ❤❤ i'm so glad you have your best friend there to support you and sticking by you because even when you feel like everything's just going to shit i know they'd be there for you and im happy about that

your feelings are completely valid and im glad you realised that. just know that im always going to be here too to support you and to just be there for you whenever you need it

bye the way you have my heart himani, it makes me so happy that you feel safe here and that you never felt weird about interacting with me. please you give me butterflies all the time, how could i not follow a beautiful person like you. honestly the same goes to you - i love seeing you on my dash and i love seeing you have a great time and interacting with people especially with my moots it makes me so happy i cant describe it 😭

if we ever meet im not letting you leave my side, you're gonna permanently be in my arms

i love you so much more i wish there was a way i could show just how much... im glad you found people you love and those that support you and that give you motivation. and im always going to be here to support you and for anything else you need

thank you for being comfortable enough to talk to me and to share this. you're an amazing person never doubt that 🥺🥰💖

#himani 💗 #i simp for you #hazel's angels #shes a certified hazel simp 😌😏 #things like this are the reason im still using tumblr #the way i had literal tears #i love you so fucking much himani #lets get married

[the-slasher-files]

DIFFERENT PREADTORS - chapter six

INCLUDES ANDREI KULOKOVA x XAVIERA LAH-MO

After the storm there is a calm, then a storm again, the a calm, that is just life with Andrei. This is a fun, wholesome chapter for the most part, just two people becoming closer before their separation... The end is coming and I am going to cry lol. I hope you guys are genuinely loving this story because I know I am. Make sure to read part one, two, three, four, and five.

Go read @horrorslashergirl​ oc Xaviera’s perspective linked HERE

MASTERLIST 

Andrei’s eyes were clear again, he had no coating of lust or blood desire or sick intentions, the wolf was at bay for tonight and he could relax again. Focusing his attention on the beautiful woman in front of him, he knew he should return her caring favor after what she had been through from him and the man from the truck.

“It feels so good.” she whispered, opening her eyes to meet his now calm blues.

“Good baby girl.” Andrei replied, looking over her bruises with a trained eye. Stripping of his bloody coat and black long sleeve, he groaned at the warm steam hitting his tense muscles, then put his still bloody hand in the warm water turning it slightly pink. He moved his hand scooping water and gently washing off Xaviera’s skin from any of her blood or the man’s blood that Andrei was caked in.

“You’re so beautiful” he commented running his hands along her now permanently marked skin. She was his. Forever.

“Thank you for saving me.” she whispered, leaning into his gentle touch, shivering when he touched the bitemarks. 

Running his fingers along the cut on her temple his rage burned quietly, the only time he had ever protected someone so strongly was with his sister, Amaria, but even then it was different. A rage he had never felt. Andrei would never let anyone touch her as long as he was around.

Grabbing the wash cloth he dapped her temple making sure all old blood was removed and no infection could start. It was a deep primal urge to help, protect and an unfamiliar feeling, to love her. Xaviera accepted him for the man and the beast, caring for him and letting herself submit, which was probably a tough feet for the feisty little kitten.

Leaning in he kissed her softly and slowly, he didn’t want to devour her for once, he just wanted a soft intimacy for the first time in his life. Pulling away he rested his forehead on hers “you’re mine… no one will ever hurt you when I’m around.”

Xaviera’s lips pulled into a genuine smile, for the first time in years feeling connected with a human being, although he could easily rip someone’s throat out like a wolf if he so desired.

“I know… And I am very grateful for it….” she whispered against his lips, enjoying the intimacy that was so high on a spiritual level. “I love you…” Xaviera spoke, her eyes widening at her own confession.

Andrei’s heart stopped at her words. No one had ever told him that before other than his mother but she had been gone for a long, long time. His breathing stopped and he found himself shocked for the first time in his life, then denial kicked it. No one could love him. He was a dangerous beast. Unlovable. She probably had a concussion, but he didn’t want her to feel embarrassed or hurt so Andrei just kissed her again rougher and leaving her breathless. His soul knew the truth and it spoke for its self in the kiss and the way his fingers moved along her skin. He loved her too but he could never say it.

Pulling away he stood up, removing the plug from the bath and grabbing both of her hands, pulling her up on wobbly legs he dried her with a fluffy towel, scooping her up again and placing her in bed.

“You need to rest kitten… I will grab you some water”

Going back into the bathroom he ran the cold water, splashing it on his face, cleaning the blood and trying to wake himself up from this. It must’ve been a dream. No one could love him. No one.

“Fuck” he whispered, slamming his fist on the counter. He knew he loved her too but it was too painful to admit it, plus he was leaving in a day anyway.

Inhaling deeply he filled her glass and walked into the bedroom again. “Here.. you had a long day” Andrei spoke gruffly, trying to hide any soft emotions from her.

Removing his boots and cargo pants something slipped from the pocket. It was his wolf tooth necklace. Andrei never wore it but he always kept it on him, his sister said it was for good luck and it would protect him. Leaning down he grabbed it and made his way over to his side of the bed, pulling Xaviera close to him instinctively.

“I- I want you to have this…” he showed her the necklace, running a thick thumb along it in comfort “they said it was for protection and good luck” placing it in her small hands he continued “.. I’m already the luckiest man and you need protection more than I do.. so.. here.” His cockiness couldn’t help but come through, it was just Andrei.

“Thank you, Wolfy.” she whispered, her hands cupping his cheeks and pressing her lips softly against his, her thumbs stroking his skin.

Her words lit him up in beastly ways and human ways. The first woman that could do both flawlessly. “Anytime baby girl.” He grinned taking in the sick memory of ripping the man’s spine out and leaving the body alone in the snow.

Her hands felt so right on him and his scars. The wolf was turning into her lap dog as he kissed her back strongly, pushing his tounge through her soft lips “Thank you for everything.” she murmured into the kiss, only for him to pull away.  

“Your such a sap.” He laughed trying to lighten the mood as he ways did.

Xaviera rolled her blue eyes at his words, a pink tint to her cheeks from his teasing.

“Ohhh bite me…Will you?” she sassed, looking into his eyes with playfulness.

He managed to unlock a feline-like playful side on her and he was the only one who will see this part of her. She pressed her lips on the tip of his nose, then gave him a cheeky smile.

“Don’t temp me again little one” He smiled but pressed his thumb gently on her permanent bite mark just to remind her that he would in fact do it again.

Softly his eyes changed looking at the black eye that was forming on her skin, running his thick thumb along it. Andrei wanted to apologize for someone even laying a hand on her but he stopped and just kissed he lips again. “You must rest.”

Xaviera huffed but rested her head on the pillow, yawning and moving closer to his hard body.  “Mhmm… I really need it… You kind of sucked the energy out of me.” she whispered, resting her forehead on Andrei’s chest.  

He gave a slightly laugh as he held her close, once again his hand found its way to her grizzly scars and rubbed them gently. Andrei knew he was a lot especially with his rough side sometimes, but she seemed to love it all and that he was grateful for.

“Goodnight Xaviera” Andrei whispered into her white hair, again she name was so sweet on his dangerous tounge. Closing his eyes and stroking her hair, he was at peace again, a miracle that it was the second night in a row.

Xaviera closed her eyes and basked into his gentle touches. “Goodnight, Andrei.” she whispered in a soft sleepy voice, His name on her lips was addicting, a foreign drug he needed time and time again. Xaviera rested one hand on his chest, where his heart was, just feeling his heartbeat as she fell asleep. Such a beautiful animalistic way of comfort, she appreciated him just for his beating heart and it made him grateful, Andrei closed his eyes allowing himself to relax.

“Mine…” she murmured in her sleep.

Opening his icy blue eyes he looked down, she was fast asleep within his arms. Andrei grinned at this, such a cute little primal thing he held carefully. Shifting himself a little he closed his eyes again “I lov-” the words caught in his throat like a knife and he just sighed. Maybe another time. Sleep consumed the beast once more, no haunting thoughts or feeling woke him up. He was at peace.

A night of tranquility.

----------------------------------------

The morning sun peaked through the pine trees and into the bedroom, the birds sang and trees swayed in the light breeze. Andrei opened his eyes softly, turning his head quickly to make sure Xaviera was still next to him, her skin glowed beautiful in the morning light and she clutched the wolf tooth necklace between her fingers.

A small smile crept on his lips and he watched her soft breathes, he didn’t want to leave her, she was perfect. Groaning he rolled over, getting up to grab some hot tea, a pleasant pleasure he loved to indulge in. One last look over the cottage he went upstairs, quietly placing her mug on her nightstand and making his way back into bed. Xaviera’s words from last still ringing in his head over and over he gently traced with his fingers then his lips over her bruises. His bruises.

She woke up with a small little yawn and stretch, meeting his gaze with her sleepy one. “Morning, Wolfy.” Xaviera murmured hugging her pillow to her body.

“Mornin’.” his voice was still rough and harsh from just waking up.

“Slept well?” she asked, looking up at him curiously, then moving to take the cup of tea from her nightstand, taking a sip and humming at the taste.

“Best sleep I’ve had in while” taking a sip himself his large free hand moved to her thigh “how about you myshka?”

She hummed at his question, taking another sip of tea. “I slept like a baby… Never felt so fresh.” she answered, setting her mug on the nightstand, then looked at the wolf tooth in her hand. “Will you?” she asked him, pulling her hair up for him, exposing her neck, covered in bite marks, for him to put the necklace on. 

Eyeing up her neck he grinned taking the necklace in hand, not in a million years would he think that the wolf would be caught dead clasping a silly necklace on a girl’s neck, but his heart filled with pride at her dawning his affection.

“Thank you… Now I have two necklaces. Both from you.” she spoke, motioning to her collar of bitemarks, one much bigger than the rest.

As he clasped the necklace Andrei kissed her neck as he closed it whispering against her bruises “y’know… I don't have to leave for the next day or so.. maybe we can have some fun together.”

“Mmmm…. Well, me neither. My job here is done and I don’t have anywhere pressing to be… What do you have in mind?” she asked, one of her small hands stroking his knuckles.

“Well… little one, I have some ideas.” the wolf growled, pulling her head back into a kiss as his hands went down her torso and teasingly getting closer to her heat. Xaviera kissed back, her tongue running over his, then she pulled away only for her teeth to gently tug on his bottom lip then sucking it innocently, finishing with a small kiss.

“Mind telling me? This kitten is very curious.” she cheekily whispered, her blue eyes shining mischievously.

She was starting to play with him as much as he did to her, but Andrei was much more experienced with toying. Dipping his fingers down in between her folds rubbing and circling, “breakfast” he smiled again her neck bringing his fingers up and tasting them, silently laughing at his own teasing and her reaction. Andrei got up, putting on his cargo pants leaving himself shirtless and walking down stairs.

“That’s just cruel!” she yelled after him, as he made it down the stairs. Andrei laughed, something that was rare for him but in the last 2 days he had been doing it often. She was feisty and he loved it. 

Looking in the fridge he pulled out some eggs and bacon and a pan he started to cook, his icy blues went to look at Xaviera when she was groaning and stretching. Something fueling him inside again. “Stiff baby girl?”

“A little bit. It’s been some full days… And I haven’t done any yoga in two weeks.” she replied. She sat down on her front, arching her back, getting into the cobra position, sighing as she felt her back pop, closing her eyes as the tension left her body little by little. Next, she supported herself on her forearms, letting the rest of her body go forward, doing an upward-facing two-foot staff pose.

“It helps relax and relieve a lot of tension.” she explained, bringing her feet closer until they were inches from her hands, her body forming an O form.

Andrei’s eyes went wide at her position, he couldn’t stop himself from turning completely around towards her, abandoning the cooking.

“That… that helps you relax?” He just started, his head running with sexual thoughts and shock “It looks like it fucking hurts..” he started to stalk towards he vulnerable position, admiring the way her body curved strong and delicately, running a finger along the curve of her body “I don't think I’ve stretched probably since I wa-” Andrei wanted to continue but smelt the burning bacon “Shit” he turned and ran back to the stove “motherfucker”

She couldn’t help but laugh at this, getting into the lotus position.

“Doesn’t hurt at all when you’ve done it for years… Felines are very flexible, Wolfy.” she answered his question with a wink, feeling herself be more confident, also very amused.

Turning off the stove and throwing out the breakfast gone to waste. His brow raised at the idea of so much flexibility being under his hands, he swallowed harshly controlling himself. “Well little kitty if you keep that up, you’re not going be able to even walk tomorrow.” He winked back then checked the fridge again, slamming it closed. “Welp, want some cereal?” He asked smirking.

She raised an eyebrow, an amused smile on her face. “How about you let me do the cooking. I don’t wanna see your hair on fire.” she said, ruffling his faux hawk hair. “How does pancakes sound? Or…. you want something specific?” she asked him.

Andrei pulled away slightly as she ruffled his light brown hair and looked down at her tugging at her hip he pulled her close and raised his brow “how about a feisty little American girl served on a plate?” He grinned licking one of his canines

Xaviera couldn’t help the laugh escaping her; a genuine one, amused by the Russian’s sexual humor. “You are such a horny dog.” she said with an amused smile. “Alright, so pancakes it is then…” she replied, starting to prepare the new breakfast.

Andrei moved his hands up in the air in a surrendered way, stepping back, only to smack her ass as she turned around and he walked around the kitchen island, putting space between them. The white-haired woman squeaked, almost dropping the batter for pancakes on the floor. She glared over her shoulder at him but decided to leave it at that if they actually wanted to eat something.

Xaviera started to cook, remembering how she missed her grandmother’s cooking. She learned to cook from her. After half an hour, she set the plates of pancakes on the table.

“Would you like any topping with them?” she asked the Russian.

“Let’s see” Getting up, Andrei went to the fridge finding some butter and strawberry jam, Xaviera just looked up at him and the ingredients in hand “let me show you something” moving to pancakes he took a knife cutting in down the middle “American pancakes are always too thick” he scoffed then took the thin pancake slicing it halfway down the middle and spreading the butter and jam on “this is Belini.. Russian traditional pancakes.. they are much thinner” he continued to show her as he folded it in half then half again “.. and now you can eat it with your hand” he grinned taking a bite

Xaviera had listened intently and did the same with her pancakes as Andrei did. “Like this?” she asked.

Andrei watched her carefully as she held the knife following his instructions, but she made a scary little flick upwards with the knife that made his eye focus hard “..Just- wait.” Coming beside her he skillfully grabbed the knife cutting the pancake for her “you were doing fine, just you’re not skilled with knives, I don't want you hurting yourself” Andrei grinned and let her finish. “Perfect myshka… now grab some vodka and you’re a true Russian” he joked take a bite of his food, memories coming back to him of his childhood

At that joke, she couldn’t help but chuckle. He was the only one who could make her laugh so easily.

“I think I had vodka one time… In college? I am not much of a drinker, to be honest… Maybe on certain occasions?” she told him with a shy smile.

Nodding he stared “Its not a liquor for everyone, its a strong one but it helps me relax when I’m home… shuts off my brain for a while.” Andrei told her then remembered some of his stupid drunken moments with his buddies but now it was just mostly him drinking alone just forcing his brain to turn off his active mind.

“I’m not very good at holding my alcohol… Plus I hate my drunken self… So yes. I stay sober.” she replied.

“What are you, an angry little drunk?” he asked with a soft laugh, taking another bite of his food.

Xaviera bites her lower lip, her face blushing furiously “I wish…” she whispered, avoiding his gaze.

Andrei stopped and squinted his eyes a little in thought “ok… let’s see” he got up and started to walk towards her, circling her like a predator ready to rip her throat out “so not an angry drunk and I don't think you’re a sad one just by what you’ve shown me so far… so maybe…” he was right behind her now, a towering figure “maybe with all your years of sexual frustration and that little blush i seemed to pull” Andrei leaned in, down to her neck for the kill “.. maybe you’re an overly sexual drunk” he smirked teasing his lips on her neck. 

She moaned lowly in her throat.

“W-What makes you….. S-So sure of it?” she asked, voice shuttering. The wolf moved his hands slowly to her thighs, moving upwards and underneath her shirt. 

“well baby girl.. ” He kissed her watching her come undone so easily at his touch “all those years of not getting any cant be good to hold in..” Andrei crept his large hands up, roaming her body as if it were new to him “and by the fact you took me like such a good little girl without any complaints,” he growled lowly next to her ear while one hand tweaked her nipple, pulling a soft mewl from her and he grinned wickedly “well.. that just tells me everything” Removing his hands quickly he walked back over to his chair watching her flustered appearance with sharp eyes “see.. look at ya”

She looked at him with a flustered red face, dumbfounded at what just happened. “You’re the most infuriating man I ever meet!” she snapped, Andrei broke into a full on laugh, something that was a rare sight, he hadn’t smiled and laughed this much in the last few days than any other time in his life. 

“I’ve heard that one before” sipping his tea he watched her turn away “.. you’re so cute when you’re flustered” getting up he made his way over to the fire place, putting some logs in and starting it up and also lighting his cigarette with the flames, and bringing himself to sit on the couch watching the snow start to gently fall. Turning his head to the woman still in the kitchen, washing the dishes, he spoke again “come here kitten”

Wiping her wet hands off, she walked over to him. “What’s the matter?” she asked with curiosity.

He just sat, watching the sway for her hips and swallowing his pride at the question “nothing… just want you” Andrei spoke motioning to his lap while taking a long drag of his cigarette. She was breaking him.

Slowly, she walked over until she was in front of him, standing there awkwardly for a few seconds, then she reluctantly put each of her knees on each side of him, getting onto his lap and looking at his naked broad chest.

She was so cute when she was unsure, so innocent and he was out to destroy her innocence one touch at a time. Hooking two fingers under you chin Andrei made her look up at him. Taking a drag from his cigarette and blowing the smoke in her face, something he thought was like affection. Capturing her in a kiss his one hand went down to support her hip while the other put the cigarette out in the ash tray and moved to her white soft hair, deepening the kiss. Andrei had never wanted someone so badly in his life, needed her for just affection, a foreign concept

Xaviera shivered as he touched her, he always managed to make her putty in his arms. She melted into the kiss, kissing back slowly, running her tongue over his bottom lip, while her hands played with his faux hawk, loving the feeling, like the fur of a wolf. “I love your hair.” she whispered against his lips.

Pulling away slightly he leaned his head back a little exposing the underside of his jaw casually and cocked a brow. It was a comment he had never received before. “You.. you like my hair?” He questioned ready to laugh, to him hair was just hair, it was nothing special.

Xaviera runs her fingers through his hair, humming at his question.  “Mhmm.. It’s wild like you…but also has a certain softness if you pay close attention.” she whispered as she leaves butterfly kisses down his throat, so gentle like he was made of glass.

Andrei’s eyes went icy and his smirk faded at the word “softness”. The wolf is not soft. Andrei is not soft. Sure he liked to care for some people here and there but soft is not a word he likes. His neck and jaw tensed and he knew she could feel it. With a swift motion his hand clamped around her jaw making her look up at his cold eyes in a warning. “And be reminded that I am wild myshka..” Andrei moves his face in close snarling “and I can take whatever I want from you, when I want it.” He growled and moved to her neck, hold her jaw upwards as he licked her bruises skillfully

Xaviera’s eyes widened at his words. She couldn’t help but mewl at his words, her eyes closing as he licked her bruised neck. “I-I’m sorry….” she whimpered.

“Good little girl” he growls, pulling away. Running his hands softly through her hair, pulling a few strands away. She was right. He was soft with her. Kissing her lips he moves along her jaw and towards her ear “I like yours too.” He smiles nibbling on her ear lobe. It made her sigh in pleasure, her hands running down his chest.

“A-Andrei….” she breathed out, feeling so vulnerable she tensed in the wolfs large arms. Andrei stopped for a moment, feeling her tense a little under his touch. His jokes were supposed to be funny not make her stiffen up, but he knew this was going to be a hard end for both of them. 

Instinctively he held her close for a moment then spoke. “I have an idea… what about a game?”

“A game? What kind of game?” she asked, a little confused.

“Well the other night when I was looking around the cottage they have some games on the shelf..” he kissed her forehead then lifted her off him as Andrei stood himself and walked towards the shelf “I figured everyone knows Jenga and in army I played it a lot when we were sitting around…” 

“I know the game.” her eyes lit up as she told him, getting comfortable on the couch.

Grabbing it down he placed it on the table “got any interesting bets?” He raised his scarred brow.

“Suuuuuure. What bet are you thinking about?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Sitting on the armchair across from the couch eyeing up Xaviera like a feast “So.. you know me, I love a challenge so how about strip Jenga?” He gave his wolfish grin “and I’m shirtless and you’re pantsless so this can be fun”

The white-haired woman blushed at his proposition, “Seems fair I am on.” she told him, flashing a cheeky smile, making him chuckle.

Andrei gives a soft chuckle “alright… you know the rules… claim your block and if you pull it out without the tower falling you’re safe but if you can’t pull out the one you wanted then you lose something alright kitten?” Setting up the blocks he flashes his eyes glimmering with competition “ladies first”

“What a gentleman.” she mused, her eyes looking over the tower, inspecting it like a snake inspects a mouse, calculating in her head all the possibilities, until she settled for one in the middle of the tower, her tiny fingers clasping it and slowly pulling the block out.

“Your turn, Wolfy.” she says with amusement.

“If you didn’t know I’m a bit of a risk taker” he speaks with confidence eyeing up the bottom row like a jackass, pulling away the bottom left block and placing it at the top “be careful myshka”

Xaviera’s eyes were on him, the corner of her lip pulled up.

“I figured that one out from the first day I meet you, Wolfy.” she whispered, her gaze moving to the tower, choosing a piece from the top, being careful, her eyes switching from it to the bottom of the tower, making sure it wasn’t off-balance. She sighed as she managed to get this one too.

“You said something?” she asked with a little smug smile, trying to stop herself from giggling.

“Don’t be so smug yet darling… we are not done” his eyes are alive with the thrill of the game, losing himself a little he pulls the right block from the bottom row, hitching his breath as the tower swayed but it stood tall, he was safe. “Wanna give up?”

Xaviera bites her bottom lip. “Not one bit.” she said, her eyes scanning the tower, from left to the right, wondering what her next move should be. She chose one in the middle again, her teeth clamping on her bottom lip with every inch that she pulled out, the tower swaying a little. “Come on.” she whispered, managing to get the last inch out, a big smile on her face. “Don’t underestimate little ol’ me.” she said in an innocent voice, seeing him twitch in anticipation, eyes dark and competitive.

He needed to think of something else.. distraction.

“Alright, I see you…. ok I'm going for the 3rd row middle block” he claims knowing he wouldn't be able to pull it off. Andrei pulls and wiggles but its strong he can’t do it with out the tower falling “son of bitch… guess I have to remove something” He stands undoing his belt and pants leaving him just in his boxer briefs, dog tags and socks. “You’re turn baby girl” Andrei smirks catching her looking over him

Her eyes drift back to his face and she huffed, knowing she was blushing. “Aaaaalright, smart guy.” she mused, trying one from the upper row only not managing to get it out. She groaned.

“Fine…. One goes off from me too.” she said, getting her shirt off, not wearing a bra, her breasts were on display, the wolf tooth he gave her hanging between her breasts.

Fuck, she knew his weaknesses, she knew what the wolf wanted. He pulled his head down quickly not wanting to get too much of an eye full before losing himself. “Ugh ok…” he breathed slowly “here we go” he prayed on his skilled fingers to help him through Andrei went for the second top row pulling out the right block, watching the tower swayed a little, but he was safe, for now

Xaviera went for a middle top one, but it got stuck and when she tried to force it, she noticed the tower swaying, so she stopped. Her eyes moved up to him and she huffed. The last piece goes off. Her hands pulled on the waistband of her panties, his icy eyes followed all her movements, her teasingly slow pace was driving him mad, then throwing them in his face, it was over. 

The wolf growled throwing them back at her “Who knew you were such a dirty player” Andrei snarled, “but I’m still going to win” he said hopefully but he started to feel the burning desire in his core. He had to get this over quickly, Andrei never had the best self control.

His fingers twitching now he breathed slowly he went for the same exact block as Xaviera had just went for and he managed to pull it out slowly and carefully, holding his breath “FUCK yes!” Andrei yelled, losing himself in the game “what are you gonna do now baby girl?” making Xaviera chuckle at his enthusiasm.

She examined the tower, going for a top one, a little to the left, trying to balance the tower a little. She took her time, slowly pulling it out and she sighed, relieved. Looking up at him, she gave an innocent smile. “Your turn, all-mighty.” she said with a wink, her playful side coming out more and more.

His cockiness was getting the better of him and in a desperate stupid move Andrei pulled from the second row on the right a little too fast and his breath hitched as the tower wobbled and ended up tumbling down to the table “motherfucker!!” He yelled kicking the coffee table to have it loudly scrap against the hard wood.

“Looks like I am the big champion.” she said with a chuckle.

Andrei scoffed “of what? A stupid game?” He stood up putting his pants on and walking over to the kitchen, looking for some alcohol. He hated to lose anything, but also maybe it was his anger that they would part ways tomorrow bubbling up inside him.

Xaviera rolled her eyes at his childish attitude, getting herself dressed as well. “You cannot always win. Sometimes you lose.” she replied back, crossing her arms over her chest, only for Andrei to flip her off.

Turning around Andrei continues looking through the cupboards, finding a bottle of Himalayan whisky reserve. Not an alcohol he had tried before, cracking it open he takes a sip from the bottle with a hiss at the burn.

“Ugh, fuck… this is terrible.” But he pours himself a glass desperately trying to stop his active mind from the thoughts of leaving her tomorrow, but plays it cool and just walks to the couch swirling the unfamiliar liquid in the glass.

Xaviera raised an eyebrow at him, shaking her head as he started to drink. “Drinking your defeat down?” she asked. 

Andrei harshly glared at her, the fur beginning to rise and claws sharpening, but he didn’t want to, it was his defense mechanism to be cold, the wolf kept him alive this long “You know you got a pretty smart mouth on ya.. if you don't stop I'm going end up putting it work” he spat. 

“Uhhhh…. I’m scared.” she said, and that’s all that was needed for the Russian to lose his patience. He sat his glass of alcohol on the table in front of the couch, then in a flash, his hand fisted her long snow-white hair, her knees meeting the hardwood floor, looking up at the wolf with wide eyes, in front of him between his legs.

“W-What are you doing?” the prey gasped as his free hand started to unbuckle the belt of his cargo pants, the sound of the zipper being tugged down followed. Flashing her a dark wicked smile with teeth bared the wolf pulled out his hard length. 

“Since you wanna act like a fucking brat, I’m gonna treat you like one.” he answered, hand wrapping around the veiny length, he tugged her head closer, as the preys hands were pushing against his muscular thighs. “None of that! Now…. Pucker up for Daddy.” the wolf growled, making her legs trembled as she meets his hard gaze, knowing there was no way out of this.

Gulping down, she puckered her lips, slowly inching closer until her lips meet the rosy tip, her eyes looking up at him all innocently from under her eyelashes. “Open up.” he ordered, but she kept her mouth shut, only to receive a slap to the cheek with his cock, making her blush furiously.

“Open up now, myshka…. Or I am gonna fuck your throat.” he warned her with harsh words, and prey did as she was told, opening her mouth, her tongue poking out and giving the tip a shy lick, only for him to growl again, making her squeak slightly. “Don’t fucking tease me.”

Gulping down, she wrapped her lips around the tip and going down, starting to suck, working her hot mouth more on the tip, while her other small hand was put around the base moving up and down.

“Aren’t you a fast learner, kitten?” he asked, chuckling as he pushed her further down his length, making her throat tense. Her tongue swirled around the tip, her free hand moving to grasp his balls gently, massaging them, making sure she pleased him, not creating discomfort. “My, my…. Myshka, you’re a natural.” the wolf praised, the tip of his fingers massaging her scalp.

The tip of her tongue moved over the little slit, pushing against it, making the wolf loudly growl in pleasure. Her eyes widen when both his hand’s fist into her white mane, in one quick move, pushing his whole length into her mouth and down her throat. Her hands quickly grasped his thighs, fingernails digging into his cargo pants as tears formed at the corner of her eyes, falling down her rosy cheeks. So beautiful.

“Now, that’s a good girl.” he growled, her throat constricting around his cock only for him to yank her off his cock, a string of saliva connecting his length and mouth. “Anything smart ya have to say, kitten?” he asked harshly, predatory eyes eating her alive.

Her swollen lips trembled, not able to even form a word. Not giving her any more time, he pushed back into her mouth and she tried to relax as much as possible, as he thrusts into her sweet little mouth. “That’s how you look the best…. with my cock down your throat, baby girl.” he growled, thrusting harshly inside her mouth, drool running down her chin.

“Here comes the prize, little slut.” he snarled, cumming inside her mouth, making her choke at the salty taste. the wolf pulled out quickly, making her squeak as he finished the rest on her face, rubbing the tip of his cock against her cum covered lips. A sick animalistic urge to see her covered in what she made him do. “Now, that’s a pretty face.” he commented, running his hand through her hair. The wolf had made yet another claim on the sweet prey, imprinting on her forever.

Xaviera gasped and swallowed harshly at what ever cum was on her tongue, as Andrei stroked her long locks, coming back to himself, he got up to the kitchen, grabbing a washcloth and dapping it warm water before coming back to his spot. 

“So beautiful, myshka.” he whispered, his hand stroking her cheek as he pressed a kiss to her forehead “Round two on Jenga?” Andrei asked with a smirk, his eyes glimmering with mischief. If he lost again maybe she would give it to him once more, he gave a soft smile as she nodded and giggled.

Their last day together was spent playing a few more rounds of jenga, laughing and learning more about each other, not just as predators but as people that got fucked over by the world. Their souls connecting even though Andrei stomped the table in two at the last round of the game. She accepting him and him accepting her as she came. The two ate dinner in silence, just enjoying each others company, drinking tea and exchanging stolen glances. 

Andrei had never felt more at home tonight than any other time in his life, Xaviera sitting on his lap with her back pressed against his naked chest, in front of the roaring fireplace, just breathing, touching, and being grateful for one another. Nothing else mattered in the world when she was around. The wolf felt free, but at the same time never so chained down in his life. He wanted, he needed to be around her, she was a soul that needed protection from the sick world, like an endangered species, Xaviera needed to be safe in his arms, no where else. 

She leaned her head back against the Andrei’s chest, feeling his chest move up and down with each breath, he looked down at her, studying her beautiful features in case they would never cross paths again. They just savored the quietness and peacefulness that like home. Different predators with lives people tried to steal were safe together tonight.

Andrei’s mind raced, not with terrible memories or haunting screams but just thoughts of her, the beautiful dangerous creature he held. As she fell asleep Andrei didn’t want to miss a thing, every scrunch of her nose to every little twitch. He was grateful for her and he didn’t want to let go, he knew no one else would accept him they way she did, and in his dangerous life Andrei learned to hold these special moments close and not waste them because there was always the potential that his time would be up tomorrow. 

Don’t let her go... Be grateful... Don’t let her go 

#the end makes me so sad #Andrei Kulokova #my writing #Xaviera Lah-Mo #Andrei x Xaviera #slasher oc #horror #oc

[amjcpvr]

Green Apple, Sadly.

“Green Apple for sure!” He calls out.

Guessing Skittle flavors is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my fucking life.

“Wrong!” I cackle and he continues to name the rest of the flavors, one after the other until he only has one choice left.

“Damn it, it was orange!” He cries and I laugh at him.

He scrunches his eyebrows at me, immediately bringing his competitiveness out. I smile, because this is definitely the Changbin I know.

He yells at me to close my eyes and I laugh before obeying and putting my palm out.

“If you get this right, I will say it’s wrong anyway,” he jokes, I hear the class go silent and he laughs nervously as he faces the professor.

“Haha, just kidding, guys, it was a joke,” I can’t help but to laugh because I can just see him fidgeting in his seat after suddenly being the center of attention.

“Grape!” I easily say as I swivel the small candy in my mouth. He groans and marks down another tally mark for the amount I got correct.

“Ten for ten!” I brag to him and he just rolls his eyes with a small smile.

I am about to place another skittle in his hand when he opens his mouth with his eyes closed.

“I think my sweaty palms are taking away the flavor, put it in my mouth!” He exclaims as he eagerly opens his mouth even wider.

My eyes widen and I tense up for a moment.

I have never felt this way before. My stomach begins feeling queasy and the back of my neck begins sweating like crazy.

I gulp and smile nervously.

I toss it into his mouth, carefully planning every angle so I don’t have to touch his lips.

“Strawberry?” He asks unsurely and looks at me with hopeful eyes.

I shake my head no with a big grin and he stomps his feet childishly.

He begins whining and I feel my chest squeeze. What was this feeling?

————————

“Hey! I’ve been meaning to introduce you two!” Changbin runs up to me and I smile the best I can because I already know what’s coming.

“This is her, babe,” He continues and the beautiful girl standing next to him smiles brightly. She’s everything he told me about.

I feel my lips shake and I clear my throat and try to compose myself.

I guess it’s my fault for working at a movie theatre.

“Nice to meet you! He literally never stops talking about you! Boy is whipped!” I try joking and it seems they both buy it.

They burst out into laughs and share a sweet kiss.

I hear someone clear their throat and their attention goes to my coworker now, Jisung. Who is also Changbin’s friend.

“Bro, order or get out of the line,” Jisung sternly says but Changbin takes no offense and instead laughs before ordering and I am finally free from that torture.

Why me?

————————

“Go team!” Someone sarcastically comments as they spot the baseball team walk by with their letterman’s jacket on. The school had organized a send off for their upcoming competition.

I keep my eyes wide as I search for the only guy I care for on the team. I start to get worried because he does not show up at all and almost the whole team has passed already.

Finally, I see him in the back walking with his girlfriend and Jisung. My smile shrinks visibly but I cannot take my eyes off of the sight anyway. He looks amazing in that jacket and he walks confidently, taking in his sudden moment of fame.

We meet eyes and he smiles widely. I want to look away but I can’t. It’s like he has bewitched me.

He raises a hand and waves it wildly. I send him a small smile and two thumbs up before mouthing out a ‘good luck’ and he responds with a loud ‘thanks’.

Something about that interaction is unmatchable to anything else. How was he able to spot me in such a huge crowd? Why did he reply to me when he was with his girlfriend?

He shouldn’t give me false hope.

————————

“They say you find your soulmate before you even turn 21,” he randomly comments as we sit beside each other studying.

“They say you should shut up and study,” I groan back. I am currently stressed with all these numbers and signs and this stupid calculator that has one too many functions.

“Do you think you’ve found yours?” He asks as he doodles around his notes, completely ignoring my words.

“I think you should study,” I repeat. I really do need to study because I’m failing class, but of course there is another reason for why I want him to be quiet, as well.

He seems to be bringing this type of thing up a lot nowadays and I am not comfortable with it at all.

“I think I’ve found mine,” he cryptically says but even the little ant walking on the table knows who he is talking about. The sparkle in his eyes gives it away easily.

“I’m going to my dorm, bye,” I comment and leave.

I should’ve never let the feelings get to me.

————————

“I don’t appreciate you talking about me behind my back,” I growl as I stare at him and even though I am mad pissed, I am also strongly hurt.

“I’m sorry. You’re right,” he easily accepts defeat and that just makes me even more mad.

“What were you talking to Seungmin about?” I ask as I increase our distance each time he wants to decrease it.

“It’s n-nothing,” he stutters. That means whatever they were talking about would make me very disappointed or even more pissed.

“Tell. Me.” I demand and he sighs.

He lowers his head as if he is ashamed of himself and takes a deep breath.

“He told me it looked like you were coming onto me and, honestly, I felt it too,” he whispers out. The answer is barely audible and I have to lean in to hear him clearly, but when I hear what he says I become a statue.

It is true. It is a hundred percent true and I have no right to call him out for it.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Changbin?” I have no right, but I do it anyway.

“I know! I’m sorry, I really am. I was stupid to even think about it,” he hurriedly says before I can burst on him.

“Is that why you’ve been asking me all these stupid questions? Our first impressions, soulmates, ideal type of boyfriend?” I roar as this time I walk towards him and he backs up.

“I can’t believe you think of me like that,” I laugh cynically and shake my head.

“I’m just an easy girl who loves breaking relationships up, huh? You happened to be my next victim so you were trying to catch me before I began to ruin your relationship. Thanks a lot,” I continue and glare straight at him.

His back hits the wall and I realize that he is not trying to defend himself and he’s just taking the hits.

“Don’t ever talk behind my back again,” I say and then I am out of there as if I was never there.

I realize that I need to maintain my distance from now on.

For everyone’s sake.

————————

“Does it hurt?” Jisung asks me out of nowhere.

I look at him weirdly and question what he means with my eyes.

“When he talks about his girlfriend in front of you?” He clarifies and I nod to acknowledge that I understood now.

“Yes, but it wakes me up. We’re so close to each other that sometimes I forget he’s taken. It makes me remember I have no chance with him and to stay in my lane,” I reply with a shrug as if my heart isn’t breaking into a million pieces just by thinking about it.

When he talks about her his eyes light up and he can go on for hours about her. He’s so proud of her and so whipped for her. She is everything to him. I stand zero chance. Always did, always will.

“That sucks,” he comments and ruffles his hair.

I chuckle. Oh yes indeed.

————————

“Dude, why have you been so distant?” He asks. We are currently in our criminology lecture and the professor is going on and on about how his wife is cheating on him.

“Honestly?” I ask him. I didn’t want to tell him the truth but that’s all I could tell him. No more lies.

I’m going to look like a fool, completely going against everything I had yelled at him for only a couple weeks earlier. But around him, I am always the fool anyway.

He nods as if that was an obvious factor to include.

“I…” I hesitate and look away from his stare.

He always looks at me straight in the eyes and I hate that about him. He never gives me an opportunity to defend myself. He knows I am weak to his beautiful dark eyes.

“I started catching feelings and I couldn’t handle it. It would just bring problems to everyone, so I decided to put some space between us,” I say looking straight back at him. He wants the truth? Well here it is.

He sits there shocked for what seems like forever before he finally clears his throat and looks away.

I gulp because even though I seemed sure of my decision and insisted on telling the truth, I was very insecure from that reaction.

He doesn’t say anything for the rest of the class and when it finally ends we leave without saying goodbye to each other.

This is for the best.

————————

“Congratulations, you guys made it! Good luck in your next semester, or in life, whichever is next for you all!” The professor ends class and I smile.

Finally, we can have time off, something I’ve longed for since Changbin and I had parted ways.

After the day I confessed, we stopped, everything.

No more sitting by each other, no more catching up, it was like we were never even friends.

I still see him sometimes, but always from afar.

I look over to him. He’s sitting beside Jisung, finishing up something on his laptop before closing it and standing.

I stay seated and pull my phone out pretending to be busy.

“I’ll, I’ll catch up to you later,” he tells Jisung and I gulp as I feel Jisung turn to me.

Jisung simply agrees and exits the lecture hall.

Finally, I stand and begin walking across my row to exit the room.

I see him out of the corner of my eye, getting closer, so I increase my speed.

Things were finally going to be okay again, why did he want to ruin it?

“Hey! I’m sorry!” He yells right as the door closes. I run out before he even has a chance of speaking to me.

I see Jisung standing by the door and he only hands me a tissue before walking away.

I hurriedly run in the opposite direction before Changbin could find me again.

Now, it was truly over.

Finally.

Sadly.

#stray kids #changbin #seo changbin #spear b #jisung han #skz han #skz changbin #j.one #3racha #stray kids angst #skz angst

[chuckbass-love]

hi love! can I request a Bucky Barnes x trans!female reader fic? Reader has had a lot of bad experience with guys in terms of dating and so when Bucky decides to boldly and honestly flirt with her at a stark party, reader is surprised and shocked that someone *actually* likes her. Bucky finds this appalling and takes her out on a fun date. thank you!!

Hi love, thank you so much for the request! I’ve got the other two from you and the ideas in my head right now.. i feel like i’m about to explode! 

I was going to upload this tomorrow but tbh, i’m too excited about it so imma give it to you now, the other two will be uploaded between now and Thursday.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Trans!Female Reader 

Warnings: Fluff overload 

Word Count: 1,504

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @sunoficarus go check them out 💙

I Like You

You don’t know why you even bothered coming here in the first place, but yet here you are. 

One of many parties thrown by Tony Stark who by the way dragged you here. 

You make sure to greet everyone that you know, sending soft and welcome smiles to those you don’t before you make your way over to the bar and sit down. 

You order a porn star martini and tap your heel on the side of the stool, glancing around the room to see what everyone is up to.

That’s when a soothing voice breaks you from your daze, causing you to jolt slightly.

“Sorry i didn’t mean to scare you” you turn your head to find him sitting next to you... Bucky Barnes.

You know of him, seen him around at other events but you’ve never spoken to him. He’s a friend of Steve’s but you and Steve aren’t all that close so he never introduced you to him.

“It’s fine, my own fault for daydreaming i guess” you giggle nervously. 

He’s hot, of course he is but he’d never like you back. A girl can fantasise though, right?

You’ve never really had a proper relationship, or at least one that counted. Sure you’ve dated but it never ended well. The guys were all jerks and you began to give up hope of a guy actually ever treating you right.

The last one lasted a good 4 months, he was nice enough for a while and then bam, he cheated. 

Tony has tried to set you up a couple times, so have Natasha and Wanda but it’s not your style, being set up that is.

You’re picky and prefer to scout the guys out yourself rather than have someone do it for you and besides, you’re enjoying the single life right now. Being alone and having time to yourself to focus on work and building your confidence up. 

“So, i’ve seen you around a lot, you know at these parties” he speaks up, you sip at your drink.

“Yeah, i’ve seen you too. You’re Steve’s friend right?” he nods, you do too. 

“I gotta say though, i’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while tonight. I just, every time i tried to, i got too nervous” he chuckles, your eyes widen. 

You make him nervous?

Why?

“I’m sure i don’t” you look around the room, avoiding his eyes. 

He doesn’t like you, you’re just taking it the wrong way. The man is probably nervous around new people. You’re not his type, surely.

“You do, i’m sure you get that everywhere you go right?” 

Okay, what is his deal?

“I actually don’t” he looks shocked, his jaw practically falls to the floor, his eyes grow wide and he shakes his head.

“What?”

“Are you single?”

What even is this?

“I am indeed, yourself?” he nods in response. 

How can a guy like him be single?

“I’m sorry i just, i never expected you to be sing-” you cut him off.

“What is this huh? Some sort of prank? You chatting to me to win a bet?” you snap, your words coming off meaner than intended. 

“N-no, it’s not a bet. I like you or at least like how you look. I just, i’ve heard so many great things from everyone and you’re beautiful. I just wanted to ask you out but didn’t wanna jump straight in before probing a bit that’s all. I’ll leave to it, sorry for the trouble”

He gets off stool, your heart sinks, you stop him.

“Wait” 

He turns around

“I’m sorry”

“It’s not every day that i have guys flirt with me so i just, i got a bit defensive. I guess i just assume that no one would want to even talk to me let alone find me attractive” you look down at your hands but not for long.

He lifts your head up with his finger under your chin.

“Well then they are fools and i better snap you up whilst the queue is short” you can’t help but giggle again. He’s funny not to mention very hot.

“So is that a yes then?” he raises his eyebrows at you, waiting for your answer.

“It’s a yes” you sip your drink, getting off the stool.

You lean closer, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. 

“Great, i guess i should get your number then right?” you take the phone from his shaky hands, typing the number into it before walking away.

“Text me your address gorgeous and i’ll pick you up at 8:00″ you smile as you walk away from him and into the sea of people.

-----------------

Okay Y/N pull yourself together, this is not the time to get the nerves. 

He’ll be here any minute. It’s 7:58pm and he said he’d be here at 8:00.

You have 2 minutes to pull yourself together.

*3 KNOCKS* 

That’s him, omg. He’s early.

You let out a deep breath, trying to relax your tensed shoulders. 

He mentioned that he wanted you to dress casual so you have on some high waisted black jeans with a yellow top, thin straps and low back. You check yourself out in the mirror before grabbing your bag and coat and heading to the door.

You open it to reveal him stood there, jeans and a white shirt. He looks so good. You feel your legs turn to jelly at the sight.

“WOW” he ogles you, not even trying to hide it.

“What?” you smirk

“You just look really good. I don’t feel good enough to be going on a date with you” you wave him off and step outside.

“Oh shush, you look good too by the way. Anyways where are we going?” he shrugs. 

“That my dear is a surprise” he tuts at you.

His hand brushes past yours as you walk, still unsure of where he’s taking you.

“So, tell me about yourself. How long have you been single?” you sigh at his question.

“A year now. I’ve not had the best experience with guys. They all ended up using me for sex or cheating i guess”

“God, i’m sorry to hear that. Steve mentioned about you being you know”

You laugh again.

“Trans? Yeah you can say the word you know it’s not a swear word. But yeah, i find a lot of men lately just want to mess around or have a girl but not be too serious about her and i grew tired of it so i decided to stay away. So when you approached me at the party, i didn’t think in a million years someone would actually like me and want to talk let alone be nervous to talk to me”

He takes a hold of your hand, holding it as you talk.

“So how come you’re single?” 

“Well let’s just say women do like me but not the ones i want” you feel your cheeks heat up.

“So what is your type?”

“I like women with something to them. Women who are independent, sassy and of course women who are sexy”

He lets go of your hand, coming to a halt.

“Of course i don’t just want anyone though. I want you. I know that’s cliche but yeah. So i plucked up the courage to ask you out and here we are” he gestures to the sight in front of you.

“A fairground. OMG” you squeal, taking his hand in yours and running through the entrance.

He gets you some tokens for the rides and attractions. 

First up, bumper cars.

----------------------

“Alright alright, you won. Happy now?” you roll your eyes.

“Ecstatic” 

You can’t help but smile from ear to ear as you grip onto your giant panda stuffed toy that Bucky won you at one of the games.

“This panda is quite literally the fluffiest and the largest thing ever. He’s going to be taking up a whole lotta room in my house” 

You walk side by side, back to your place.

“What you gonna name him?” 

“James” 

He told you his first name, so it only seemed right to name the panda after him. After all, he did win it for you.

“Very cute” 

“Just like you then huh”

You come to a stop as you reach your house.

“So this me” you nod.

“I had the best time tonight” you second that.

You look into his eyes, getting lost in them. It doesn’t take much.

You see him leaning closer, you follow. Your heads both tilt, coming closer until your lips touch.

The kiss is magical, like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.

“I’d love to see you again”

“I can’t say i blame you. When?” 

He looks shocked, as though he can’t believe you want to see him again too.

“How’s Friday?” your smile is getting bigger.

“Perfect”

“I’ll see you then” 

And with that, he presses another kiss to your lips, a little more open mouthed this time.

“Goodnight Y/N”

“Goodnight Bucky” you walk away, swaying your hips.

------------------

TAGS: @deadlymistress24 @coffeebooksandfandom @princess-evans-addict @badbo1-evans @holtzkinnon @mychemicalimagines @llamadelreyx @thewinchestergirl1208 @chrissquares @patzammit @adriannajackson @dummiesshort @cevans-fics

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REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

#bucky barnes #winter soldier #bucky barnes x trans!reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x trans!reader #fic #bucky barnes fluff #request #seb stan #sebastian stan fluff

[babyleclerc]

Tequila Sunrise

Pairings: Chris Evans x Fem Reader

Style: One-Shot

Request?: No, but 100% inspired by that stupid Shawn Mendes/Camila Cabello song I will never get out of my head

Warnings: Language. Smut. Unprotected sex (woops, wrap it before you tap it, kids). NSFW. Slight dom!Chris.

Word count: 4.5K 

Summary: You’ve known Chris since you were twelve. He’s always been a constant for you, never a romantic interest. But will the summer heatwave, humidity and pool time get to your head and change the way you feel about each other? Includes Anthony Mackie!

A/N: Holy shit, you guys. I’ve been working on this one all week. I won’t lie, I’m attached to this one and really hope you guys like it. :3 I’m considering doing a series tied to this -- more of what happens with Reader/Chris & potentially with Ava (bc I love her personality and modeled her off Blake Lively, if you couldn’t tell). If you liked this/would be interested in reading more in this world please comment and let me know!! Your support helps me write :))

This story truly feels like my baby so please do leave it some love/review if you liked it. Sorry if the smut sucked I hate writing it but felt like it was essential to the story jfdlakflds;akf;dsaf. Don’t hate me. ALSO, huge thank you to my #1 @deartomhardy. She helped me through this in so many ways. Hyped me up when parts of this fic made me sweaty, yelled at me when I whined about the smut. Supported me literally through it all. I love u my baby angel. <3 (Gif not mine!)

You say we’re just friends,

But friends don’t know the way you taste.

‘Cause you know it’s been a long time coming,

Don’t you let me fall.

It was hotter than all hell, and you were starting to get sick of the dry heat that was coursing it’s way through the city the past few days. Your hometown used to be so enjoyable; better weather, less traffic, less people, less lines, less noise. Now, everything was popular - and not in a cute way. The donut shop down the street you had been going to since you were five was now considered a collectible. You saw tourists at the airport with the stupid blue boxes everywhere. The quaint coffee shop that was next to a questionable Chinese restaurant had now multiplied where you could find one on almost every street corner. Even down to the people - one in particular - who used to just be a regular Joe Schmoe was now a celebrity in his (also your) hometown. Wild.

“Find any hotties out there?” You turned your head to the edge of the pool to peer through your circular sunglasses at the voice. Mackie was leaned against the cool tiles surrounding the edge of the pool, the bottom of his body enveloped in water. He turned to look at Chris who had just entered the gated pool area.

“I just went to get some beers, Mack. Chill.” Chris replied, and you couldn’t help the small smile that formed on your lips at his response.

Local-theatre-geek-turned-celebrity did have its perks, though. For one, you were able to enjoy a private pool on a 97 degree day, well, privately. Chris’s summer home was nothing short of a resort; food at any and all hours of the day, a pool, hot tub, and theater room. The best part about the pool was that there were no kids screaming and running around, wreaking havoc. You had a barbecue all to yourself, you could blast music and no one would complain. Plus, you found yourself suddenly surrounded by far better and more interesting company.

You and Chris had always been close. That was clear to everyone around you. You went to his premieres, supported him on Broadway, stayed up with him late into the night over the phone when his anxiety got the best of him, and he was a full Country away from you. Assured him that he would have the family he’s always wanted one day. And he supported you through all your endeavors. Helped you pay your way through grad school (I have so much money, Y/N, I literally don’t know what to do with it. Let me do something good for you, just this once he’d said to you late that night on the floor of your college dorm). Listened to you when you ranted about your parents and how the planet alignment was throwing off your mood. Was a shoulder to cry on when you went through breakups. There were no secrets between you, and there was no drama.

You knew this was because the only rule you had with Chris was the one that had stood the test of time: no sex. Period. No matter how drunk you got in the college dorms or at Marvel premieres. Even if you didn’t have someone to kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve. Even if you were vulnerable, heart aching for some affection and non-romantic sex after your ex cheated on you. Even if you were just plain horny. No. Sex. Your 20+ year friendship had lasted this long because one person in the relationship had always stood that ground no matter the circumstances. And for that, you were so thankful. Thankful for the lack of complications and strings; thankful you had someone in your life you could be you around. It was a rarity these days.

“Beer?” Said friend asked you, sunglasses adorned his tanning face. You looked up from Mackie and nodded, stretching out a hand to reach for the refreshing drink Chris was offering your way.

“Please,” You respond, waiting for Chris to pad his way over to you across the massive outdoor patio.

Had Chris not had his sunglasses on, you would have noticed the way he was eyeing your outstretched body, clad only in a thin, navy blue bikini on the poolside chair. Your bottoms hugged your hips as if made just for you; your tousled hair touching just beneath your shoulders; stray strands innocently snuggled beneath your breasts.

He took a breath, willing himself to look away as he handed you the cool drink. You noticed the way his obliques twitched with his arm movement, and how massive his biceps were after coming off of Endgame. You had, of course, noticed your best friend’s looks before - you weren’t blind - but the heat was making you see him in a different light. You took a swig of your beer, hoping the distraction would take you away from the way a bead of sweat was falling just along his torso towards the top of his swim trunks...

“I’d love one, Chris, thanks for asking.” Your best friend, Ava, spoke out next to you.

“Did you have to bring her?” Chris teased, grabbing another beer and gently tossing it towards Ava, who lay sprawled out on a lounge chair next to you in a stunning red one piece that hugged her cleavage just right.

Ava was the quintessential best friend whose kindness and selflessness made up for the fact that any woman next to her would otherwise feel inadequate.

She had long, slender legs, carved after years of soccer, tennis, biking, and basically any sport she could get her hands on. The constant need for an adrenaline rush made her tanned skin stay year-round, which was accompanied by a moderate four pack, large natural breasts, and wavy, thick blonde hair that always fell just right. Add her bright emerald eyes and a contagious laugh that lit up any room, and she was a heartbreaker to any man that was lucky enough to be in the same room as her.

But Ava didn’t care about that stuff, and that’s what made her so special. She was selfless. She put everyone else’s needs above her own, and had kindness oozing out of her, no matter the circumstances. She went to Mexico on a UNICEF trip on a whim after reading an article about children in need on a random Tuesday morning. She put her younger brother through medical school when both of her parents passed away unexpectedly (still a mystery to everyone else how she ever managed it). She was a perfect blend of compassion and enthusiasm that attracted men who wanted to get in bed with her and women who wanted to be associated with her. And it was effortless; as if it came to her like breathing.

“They’re kind of a package deal, those two.” Mackie piped up from the pool, grinning as he unashamedly drank Ava in. He had been trying to get with her all summer, but Ava stood her ground. She wasn’t one for summer flings.

But Chris knew this already; in fact it was Ava and Chris’s friendship that had gotten you to know Chris to begin with. Your mom had forced you into 6th grade soccer (hoping you would show some sort of athletic talent in your childhood) where you had met Ava on the very first day. Chris had been on the boys team at your middle school, and Ava being, well, Ava, had already made friends with the entire team within days. Your practices were on separate fields, separated only by a goal post but always ended at the same time. You would frequently all walk home together after practice, stopping for a smoothie, donuts, or ice cream along the way depending on the weather and talking about everything under the sun. Those walks were the reason you stuck with soccer for all those years (sorry, Mom).

“I already know what you’re going to say,” Ava started, lowering her voice and leaning towards you so the boys couldn’t hear. “But if I didn’t know any better, I’d say a certain someone was checking you out today.”

You rolled your eyes, but felt your heart skip a beat at the insinuation. “Don’t go starting shit, Ave. He’s seen me in a bikini a million times.”

“Yeah, and you’ve seen him shirtless a million times, too, and yet here you are gawking at him like he’s some Sports Illustrated model.”

“Am not!” You laughed, taking a drink of your beer. You noticed the way Chris’s eyebrows raised at the sound of you from across the patio; he was always in tune with you even from a thousand miles away.

“Prove it.” Ava deadpanned, swinging her legs over her chair to sit up and face you.

“What?” You asked, exhausted by your best friend’s antics.

“Prove it.” She repeated, setting her beer down on the cement. “If it’s no big deal, and you feel the same way about him you always have and nothing’s changed-” She used air quotations, referring to the thousands of conversations you’d had about Chris since you were both back visiting your hometown and hanging out with Ava, “-then swimming and playing around in the pool should be no big deal. Just another swim with your best buds.”

She had a wicked grin on her face, and you knew you were in trouble. When Ava set her mind to something, she always saw it through. No matter what.

“Please don’t do this.” You pouted, though your best friend was already standing, waiting to make her move. The pitied look on your face didn’t fool her, and you found she was ignoring you as she dramatically fanned herself, heading towards the pool.

“It’s getting a bit toasty. I think I’ll take a dip to cool off.” She announced, “Y/N, you coming?”

“I think I’m good, thanks.” You glared at her, unamused. She shot you a wink in response.

“Man, I was really hoping we could chicken fight. Evans!” Chris jumped at the sudden inclusion from the loud blonde. “You in?”

He looked up from the edge of the pool where he had been leaning against one of the railings. Him and Mackie had been discussing some latest sports announcement at length, since you had been too bored earlier to listen out at lunch.

“Mhm?” Chris asked, clearly not paying attention to Ava’s antics and shooting a look over to the both of you. You noticed the beer in his hand was nearly empty.

“Chicken fight!” Ava said enthusiastically, “Me ‘n Mack vs you two losers.”

“Alright!” Mackie shouted happily, “Now things are getting interesting. Finally.”

Chris sighed, not near excited for the fight as the other two. “You in, partner?”

“I guess.” You groaned, knowing you had no way out of both Anthony and Ava’s persistence. You pulled yourself up off the chair and stood, stretching and rolling your neck, which had been stiff from the CrossFit class Ava had forced you to earlier in the week. Your muscles still ached from the fifty minute torture session you cursed your best friend all the way through, and though you’d never admit it - a dip in the pool sounded so refreshing after nearly 45 minutes in the heat.

Chris’s eyes never left you, or the way your body was glistening in the sunlight. The summer heat was leaving your cheeks just flushed, and he noticed how the thin swim material hugged your plump ass seductively. You were oblivious. Oblivious to the beauty and perfection Chris saw in you, how your right dimple surfaced when you laughed, and your eyelashes fluttered when you slept deeply. He felt a small pang of jealousy in his gut at the thought of all the guys who had seen you that way, and wondered if they noticed all those things about you that he did.

Throughout high school and through adulthood, people had always assumed Chris was dating Ava. Whether it was friends, family, or tabloids - people always gushed over what a “beautiful couple” he and Ava made. Maybe it was because of the stark blond hair, or maybe that she was almost taller than Chris, and they appeared to be “perfectly matched”. To Chris, she was just Ava. A close, and dear friend, but no one he would ever be romantically interested in. 

She wasn’t you.

--- 

Much to your annoyance (and to Ava’s pleasure), chicken fighting with Chris had been just as awkward as you had expected. You were acutely aware of every touch - the way his strong hands gripped your thighs when you were straddled on top of his shoulders, desperately trying to shove your best friend off Anthony’s. She was stronger than you; that much was obvious. But having Chris at the base gave you an edge, and you ended up winning more than the other pair thanks to his cheating swipes at Mackie from under the water.

While the game was innocent enough, you heart drummed loudly in your chest every time his skin made contact with yours. Several times as you fell, shoved off by Ava’s very aggressive pushes, you’d feel Chris’s strong arms envelope you, laughing and crashing into the water with you. His arm stayed wrapped around your torso, holding you easily against his hip as you pushed up for air. Water droplets danced along your shoulders as you laughed, easily wrapping your legs around Chris as an excuse for support.

Finally, after several hours of Marco/Polo, ring tossing, and shark and minnows, Anthony and Ava had tired themselves out and retired to their respective homes. You and Chris had moved to the hot tub, tucked deep into the corner of the house, where you could still see the stars. The heatwave had finally burnt off, and you felt a cool breeze rolling through the property, sending a slight shiver down your spine. You leaned your head back onto the cool, diamond tiles that lined the tub, your legs peacefully resting on Chris’s lap across from you as the jets made water bubbles all around you. You sighed, blissfully happy - nothing was better than a long, warm day at the pool with your best friends.

“What’s goin’ on in that head of yours?” Chris asked softly. His fingers danced across your legs like a whisper, his warm blues matching the color of the water just beneath his sturdy chest. 

“I’ve just missed this,” You reply, raising your eyes to meet his. “Life should always be this simple.”

“It can be.” Chris retaliated, thumb now making small circles just above your ankle. You smiled softly.

“Sometimes. But other times I remember that there’s reality, and we have to work and pay bills and like... be an adult.” You sighed again, “It’s just not the same as...” You trailed off, not having the balls to finish your sentence. You awkwardly broke eye contact with him, looking down at your hands in the water.

“Not the same as what?” He pressed, hand now gripping your ankle gently. He tugged just enough to force you to make eye contact with him again. 

“Real life just isn’t the same as being here with you,” You finished out awkwardly. This was uncharted territory - you’d never talked about this kind of stuff with Chris. You were always just friends, and that was the extent of it. Nothing more; and there was never really an opportunity to be more than that because both of you had never let it. 

But now... now he was here. And he was so... perfect. And caring. And kind. And he listened to your ideas, beyond just wanting to get into your pants. And he knew you so intimately, it was hard to think about being with anyone else. It made you wonder if all of your past relationships had failed for a reason, maybe there was someone else you were supposed to be with, and he had been right in front of you this entire time?

Chris tugged on your leg, a little stronger this time, willing you towards him as the water bounced between you guys softly. He was closing the gap between the both of you, but the pace in which he was taking was painfully slow. You felt every second, as if it had been slowed down five times, as you inched towards him slowly.

“Chris, I...” You whispered, as his hands enveloped you, gripping your waist and maneuvering you so that you straddled his lap.

“What?” He asked breathlessly, drunk on your smell, and the way your ass was settling on his groin. His eyes still haven’t left yours, he’s testing you - daring you to be the one to pull away first. 

“I don’t trust myself right now.” You reply, eyes boring into his. Your face was millimeters away from his, and you so desperately wanted to reach out and taste him; know what it would feel like to kiss those soft, pink lips. 

“Just one kiss.” He breathed. His tone was more of a request than it was statement, he was begging you to give in just this once. You lifted your hands and rested them on the sides of his face, feeling his slight stubble against the palms of your hands.In the decades of knowing him, you had never been this close. You breathed in deeply, taking in his scent. You felt as though you were home. And although it was likely only seconds that passed by, it felt like it had been a million minutes all smashed into one, and you finally leaned in, closing the fraction of space between your lips.

And suddenly, you were falling. Falling so deep into Chris and your feelings it was indescribable. He tasted like a perfect blend of vanilla, honey and strawberries; likely from the massive bowl he had eaten just hours before. 

His arms wrapped around you, pulling you as close into him as he could. This was more than just one kiss, and both of you knew it. There was no going back now.

After a few breathy moments, Chris pulled back for air, immediately relocating his lips onto the crook of your neck, kissing every inch of your skin from your jawline down to your shoulder. Your skin felt as though it was on fire, and it had nothing to do with the temperature of the water. You leaned into him, a soft moan escaping your lips as you let your eyes flutter closed. His hands roamed up your spine, tugging at the spandex material that was barricading him from access to your breasts.

“Not here,” You murmured, letting your head fall against his shoulder. As warm and sexy as the hot tub was, you weren’t interested in your first time with Chris being messy and wet in his outdoor hot tub. Plus, the cool breeze was starting to give you goosebumps.

He pulled away from the hickey he was working on just above your right breast. “Hold onto my neck.” He said against your skin. Wrapping your legs around his waist he easily stood, carefully maneuvering the both of you out of the hot tub and towards one of the guest bedrooms just a few feet from the hot tub. All the while his lips continued his assault on any part of you that he could, stumbling in the dark towards the massive queen bed that was enveloped in snow white sheets.

A small giggle escaped from your lips as he tripped slightly, dropping you backwards and onto the soft mattress.

“Think that’s funny?” He asked, grinning as he took in the sight of you; eyes sparkling and hair wet and wild, soaking the cotton sheets beneath you. Nothing separated him from you other than your skimpy bikini, which he was determined to pull off within minutes of having you on the bed.

“I mean, it was a little dramatic,” You teased, reaching out to grab his left arm, and interlacing your fingers easily as he leaned over, hovering over top of you. No part of you were touching just yet, other than his hand in yours. “I do have working legs, ya know.”

“Well, yes, but where’s the fun in that?” He teased, allowing himself to settle on top of you easily. He was grinning from ear to ear, and you weren’t sure if it was your ego or the heat of the moment - but you could have sown you’d never seen him this happy.

“Are we really gonna do this?” You asked softly, reaching your hand to stroke the side of his face, your eyes searching his.

“Do you want to?” He asked, ever the gentleman. Your heart was ringing in your ears, aware of the hard erection Chris was sporting through his swim trunks. It pressed against your right thigh gently. You squirmed beneath him.

“I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.” You murmured, and that was the final confirmation Chris needed to close the gap between you two once more.

And this time was different from the hot tub. In the water you were slow, deliberate, wanting every nerve in your body to feel him against you. This was different; he was hungry for you. His hands made quick work of your bikini top, tossing it onto the floor as your lips parted to make room for his tongue.

His right hand massaged your left breast, pinching and flicking your nipple every so often. The sensation made you moan, and you arched your back in response. You could feel your pussy throbbing for him, begging him to please you, touch you.

Needing air, you pulled away from him, placing kisses along his chin and down his jawline.

“Chris,” You moaned into his ear, slightly tugging on his long, wet hair as his thumb padded your tout nipple.

“Mhm,” You were quickly realizing that Chris was going to make you beg him for this one. After years and years of waiting, he wanted to hear exactly what you wanted him to do to you. He wasn’t going to give you an easy out. Not tonight anyway.

“Please,” You begged, as his right hand moved slowly, torturously from your breast and across your tummy, running a finger along your slit over top your bottoms.

“What do you want?” He asked, nose nuzzling your neck before biting you gently.

You groaned, annoyed at the teasing. “We’ve had twenty years of foreplay, Evans. You know what I want.”

He chuckled against your skin, palming your pussy in response.

“Don’t be a smartass.” He bit your earlobe gently, running his tongue along your neck. “All you have to do is ask.”

You weren’t used to such a dominant side of Chris, but the rate in which it was turning you on was unbelievable. He was confident and sexy in the bedroom - a side of him you weren’t used to seeing. It was a relief to feel like you were being taken care of, and that your needs were coming before his. Even if he was making you beg.

Deciding that being blunt was the only way to get what you want you pushed him away from your neck gently, meeting his warm blues. There was a quick beat.

“I want you to fuck me, Chris.” It was so vulgar you felt your cheeks go warm. But if Chris was turned on before, it was nothing like the look of desperation and hunger he had in his eyes now.

He shoved  his swim trunks off, freeing his cock that was standing at attention. You craned your neck to get a look, mouth practically watering at the sight. Chris yanked off your bottoms next and paused for a minute, drinking you in.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He breathed, his hands running down your sides. His hand stopped just above your folds, locating your wild eyes and watching your face as he slipped in one, two, then three fingers, testing your readiness.

You hissed, writhing at the feeling and pulled at the sheets in a death grip. After a few pumps he pulled out of you, but not after sliding his index finger once across your clit. The feeling made you shutter, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

He aligned himself, pausing to soak you in. After all these years of wondering, wishing, hoping; you were all his. He didn’t have to worry about anybody or anything else. You were here, and this was perfect.

Your eyes fluttered open, wondering what the hesitation was. You knew immediately he was silently asking for permission one more time. Once you crossed this line, there was no going back. Your hand found his and you intertwined your fingers once more.

“I want this.” You whispered reassuringly.

That was the confirmation Chris needed to settle himself above you, and slide into your pussy slowly. Inch by inch you felt yourself filled up by his impressive length, and you squeezed his hand, moaning loudly.

“Jesus,” He moaned, allowing your body to adjust before beginning to fuck you slowly. “So wet.”

His mouth latched onto one your breasts, licking and nipping at your sensitive nipple as he began slamming into you with more speed. His thumb was still making fast work of your clit, and the triple combination was making it hard for you to not cum quickly.

“Chris,” You breathed, reveling in the way his cock felt inside of you. You bucked your hips hoping to allow him to penetrate you deeper.

“So absolutely perfect.” Chris kept murmuring against your skin, over and over as he kissed, licked, and squeezed every inch of you he could. He picked up the pace, feeling your walls tightening around his cock. You were dangerously close to release.

You tried to form words but couldn’t think coherently. Everything was a blur, and every nerve was on edge as you felt yourself inching quickly toward orgasm. One more thrust from Chris and you let go, crying out as your walls clenched down on his cock without mercy.

Squeezing your breast, he found your mouth and kissed you as if his life depended on it. After a few more thrusts, he, too, let out a loud groan as you felt him finish inside you.

Still seeing stars you blinked a few times, your brain trying to catch up to the scene unfolding in front of you. You had just had sex with Chris Evans. Best friend of over 20 years. Man you shared every intimate secret with. He’s seen you naked. Touched you everywhere. Came inside you. Holy shit.

Chris was still lost in his orgasm, panting slightly. He pulled out of you, rolling over to his side.

“Wow,” He breathed. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. “That was…”

“Amazing?” You offered, snuggling into his chest and letting a hand dance along his skin. Your heart still hadn’t recovered from the previous cardio session, and you could feel Chris’s still racing also.

“I was gonna say mind blowing.” His chest rippled in your hand from a laugh. “But amazing works too.”

Fin.

---

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