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flamingpudding · 9 days

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I'm so sorry I didn't get to finish but as Dan's Teekl is a Phoenix snake and he takes after Vlad since of dressing

When something big is going on the magical world and they need King Phantom's help he decides to bring along his children this is how the Justice League finds out just like Robin is a past dumb title so is Klarion all the Justice League deal with a bunch of hyper up chaotic children who have been antiheroes let's find out

I wanted this to be just like a we are robbing thing except with Clarion all of them showing off the fact that Teekl have never been a cat would be so funny to me

Anywho I haven't been able to come up with anymore ideas for Dan is Klarion but I did come out with this one hope you find it funny sorry that I messed up on the first part of the writing

Okay... so version one got deleted, per my rant post notices... so here is version two hopes to that it will still be as good... also... i didn't remember how I ended this the first time soooooo yea... sorry again for having messed up in between...

[Link to the first part of the Ask here!]

I hope this will still be as enjoyable....

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Vlad didn't regret a lot of things but he regretted having told Bruce Wayne that he had a way of summoning the Ghost King. Why you ask? Because Bruce Wayne apparently leaked that information to the Justice League.

Well originally Vlad had told Bruce only about this because he was after the deal he had wanted for years with Wayne Enterprise. That man had been able to avoid Vlad for years now, and during his years when he hadn't been a redeemed man it had infuriated him.

But he was a redeemed man now. He had reformed his entire Company and since Wayne Enterprise was contracted with the Justice League, he had felt it was appropriate to boost that his Company had valuable connections too.

He also just wanted to rub it into Brucie Waynes face that he wasn't the only one with big name Hero / other worldly connections department. Okay it might have been a bit of an ego thing left. But he was a redeemed man.

And because he was a redeemed man he had not used his ghost powers to throw Batman out of the window the hero had used to barge into his hotel room at 3 -goddamn- AM only to demand the method on how to summon the ghost king.

No sir, Vlad was a redeemed man, he was nice now, a good guy.

He only grumbled and demanded the reason, which apparently was a demonic thread to the magical world that indirectly could wipe out the entire world itself. Great, little badger will not be amused hearing about that.

Daniel would be cross with him for using the summoning stone in the middle of the night but Batman was giving him a valid reason to use it. Surely Daniel would understand right? Plus Vlad could use that as change to see the little badger again. It had been a while since he last saw him.

Well Vlad regretted agreeing with Batman with the condition that he would be the one to do the summoning. That man in a bat suit did not hesitate to drag Vlad with him then bringing him, blindfolded mind you, to a place where he then was faced with several heroes, including but not limited to the Justice league.

Just great.

At least Vlad got to inform Danial about the situation and the reason for his summon as Ghost King via summoning stone, even if that blond British man had scoffed when he saw Vlad pulling it out, about the situation and what the little badger could expect the moment he stepped out of a portal.

What Vlad did not expect were several RED portals opening and similarly dressed young adults as well as one teen stepping out of them.

"Sup old man! Mom told us you called him about some world ending problem!" Dan greeted him in his Klarion get up, perfectly styled hair and his ghost pet, a phoenix snake, Snape (yes Dan named his pet after a mage from a wizard movie series) on his shoulders. Vlad could feel the distinctive illusion magic around the pet and he was pretty sure everyone without ghost powers were not able to see through it.

"KLARION?!" One of the present heroes yelled.

And of course all of the kids had to answer in reflect turning to where the voice came from at the same time.

"Yea"

There was a brief moment of silence in which Vlad face palmed.

"Ah sorry, that was on reflex. Old habits die hard!" Ellie laughed, she had grown into a young woman and was currently wearing what looked like a black suit crossed with a 90s style witch dress.

"I am the current Klarion, lose that fucking habit already." Dan grumbled annoyed as he crossed his arms glaring at every sibling that had answered to his alias.

"I am telling mom you cussed." Ellie instead grinned instead, before she looked around for a moment before her eyes landed on Nightwing, her face instantly lighting up. "ROBIN! I mean Nightwing! I haven't seen you in ages!"

"Do I know you?" Vlad could feel sorry for the hero, but these where the phantom kids, so he wasn't in the slightest and he was still cross with he heroes for waking him up at 3AM!

"I am hurt! Don't you recognise me!" Ellie gasped and Dan unashamedly elbowed her for acting so familiar.

"Misrule." He warned her. Ellies current Anti-Hero -Chaos Agent- Alias Vlad remembered. A name she specifically chose because it sounded like Miss Rule and she knew that the word play would annoy Nabu. That girl had some serious beef with the Ancient of Order.

"Oh shush little brother! Let me reconnect with the kids I used to mess with!" She shushed Dan ruffling his hair and nearly messing up his horned hairstyle, before turning back to Nightwing. "Don't you remember my lovely Armadillos? Though I only know you were the Robin I first meet because I looked into Grandpa Clock's time mirrors..."

There was a brief moment of silence on the other side where the heroes stood and Vlad swore he could have heard a pin needle drop.

"Oh god..." One of them finally spoke up as apparently some kind of realisation sunk into the heroes. But before Ellie could add anything more the one Vlad recognised as Red Robin cut in.

"Klarion is like Robin!"

"RR what are you...?"

"The title of Klarion got passed down like Robin!"

There was another brief moment of silence before Dan, Ellie and the rest of their siblings burst out laughing.

"It took you idiots this long to see that?!" Dan called them out, laughing as he hugged Snape.

Vlad would probably feel sorry for the entirety of the heroes before him if he wasn't amused by this himself, even he had seen the differences whenever 'Klarion' got passed on.

"For your information, I was the first Klarion, so i could mess with Nabu." Ellie grinned. "I was also the one that used a bit to much eyeliner."

"I never got the the horned hairstyle right."

"I was the one with a fancy black suit."

One by one the phantom kids listed of all the differences in their versions of Klarion until they all looked towards the youngest Dan, the current Klarion.

"What?" He grumbled as his elder siblings grinned at him.

"Fucking fine. I use a suit similar to the old man's style and I like to do more than just mess with Nabitch." He muttered after enduring his siblings stares for.

"And you cuss." Ellie grinned brightly causing the rest of the siblings to to chuckle.

Vlad recognised the look in Dan's eyes and before the kids could break out into an argument or a brawl, depending how violent Dan was feeling, he coughed loudly to get noticed by everyone.

"World threatening situation." He reminded everyone. "Where is your mother? The Ghost King?"

"Oh Mom is already dealing with the situation." Dan shrugged. "We more or less came to watch and see the heroes suck and fail at 'Order' to rub it into Nabitch's face."

Vlad really wanted to scowl the kids and he was going to but then the heroes cut in again.

"Can we get back to the thing about Klarion being a title passed down like Robin? With how many different Klarions did we have to deal with over the years!?"

"Red Robin not the right time..."

"Yes the right time! So many comments from Klarion make sense now! Like the first time he went right up into my face!"

"Red Robin!"

"Oh that was still me! The first Klarion!"

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canyourfavesurvivecastledracula · 2 months

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Okay, so might have been asked before, but Bruce Wayne.

Not Batman. Just Bruce Wayne, little to no tech, Brucie persona in full swing...maybe he's there for some really weird gala or something and is now stuck and doesn't want to blow his cover.

@beabaseball asked:

Would Bruce Wayne (Batman) survive Count Dracula? He's scared of bats!! :(

@goldenzingy46 asked:

could batman survive castle dracula? (either in costume or out of it)

@major-knighton asked:

Could Batman survive Castle Dracula?

Anonymous asked:

I'm sure this has probably been asked, but I couldn't find it via blog search. Could Batman survive Castle Dracula? (Any iteration, with or without Batfam members.)

Ahahahahaha Brucie Wayne, billionaire playboy and Gotham's favoritest darling himbo. Yes good!

I gotta tag @unpretty in this. We all know tumblr batman is the best batman.

As to beabaseball's concern: poor Brucie! He is so afraid of bats! Fortunately for him, Dracula does all his bad batting about in England - he doesn't actually shapeshift at any point in the Castle, presumably for the same reasons he's presenting as Old AF and climbing his own walls like a lizard. Maybe some exceptionally rich blood will help him out with that actually. And for what it's worth, Jonathan does not describe any natural bats frequenting Castle Dracula either. There's nothing alive in the Castle (the wolves, of course, being Outside the Castle). Now would he count things like bats and vermin? He describes the womens' quarters as moth-eaten, so there must be like...moths. (Unless Dracula Did That I suppose). But I am not sure whether that tells us there could be bats and they just weren't worth mentioning, or that there aren't bats because if there were they would have eaten the moths.

I am going to say that there are no bats of any kind at Castle Dracula, so poor Brucie won't have his childhood trauma triggered in that way. I'm sure watching a mother get devoured by wolves won't- yeah.... he's not gonna like this. Sorry Bruce buddy you're in the Dying Parents novel. Whoopsie daisy.

Look there are reasons why Brucie is Gotham's favorite idiot son. He's a good boy. Of course he accepts the crucifix - it's for his mother's sake! Being given a lot of flowers is nothing unusual for him but he accepts them graciously as well. He tips the coachman handsomely (the coachman turns a little green at accepting his money, but Mr Wayne is just so earnest and, he rationalizes it later, it's not like the doomed young man is going to have any further use for it...), and Dracula's Calèche driver as well. He's so sloshed on Slivovitz by the time they get to the Castle (impressive since the bottle appears not to have been opened) that he tries to tip him in real silver (lol classic Brucie having no idea of the value of things - where did he even get that?). He even tries to tip Dracula when he answers the door, presuming him to be the butler. (No, it is late and my servants have all gone to bed. Really? My butler keeps such consistent round-the-clock hours that the tabloids keep asking me if he's a vampire, haha, but I guess he's something special).

On that note, this strange nighttime existence is nothing that out of the ordinary for the billionaire playboy lifestyle. Brucie frequently sleeps in till 2 under normal circumstances - it's not like he needs to get up early to drive his kids to school, he has drivers for that (no one is really sure if Brucie even knows how to drive). Dracula actually finds it a little off-putting how blithely cheerful he remains, almost as if he too is a creature of the night who cares little for the bright voluptuousness of youth ... or maybe he's just that dumb. When Dracula tried to sneak up on him making his toilet he found him actually trying to put his trousers on backwards (and turning around so much in the effort that the sneaking up was harder than Dracula anticipated - Brucie awkwardly explains that his butler usually dresses him, leaving Dracula morbidly fascinated about how he's even alive still).

I... am not sure how the shaving scene goes. I shouldn't think he would startle enough to cut himself. Or might he cut himself on purpose just to see how Dracula reacts? If Dracula makes a grab for his throat dies he blow him a kiss and say "buy me a drink first, darling" ? Did he pack extra shaving mirrors, making Dracula go :/ and consider stealing his stuff early?

Dracula retires muttering each morning "is he as stupid as he seems?? Nobody could be as stupid as he seems..." But he invites him to stay another month and write some fake letters and Brucie is like "who me?? My secretary writes my letters I wouldn't know how to begin" and Dracula has no idea what to do with that. Climbing the walls doesn't bother him, he's from Gotham, people climbing about on walls is your typical Tuesday. In fact, nothing Dracula does seems to get to him and it's getting really frustrating. At one point Dracula cautiously asks him why he's so chill and he's just like "oh you know it's not so different from home, only there we've got this evil clown that murders people. Well that's what they say at least. But my ward Dick, you know, he came from the circus? And apparently murdering people is against the Clown Code so, between you and me, I don't think he exists." And Dracula's just sitting there like "wait what" but also "that doesn't follow at all and I am fascinated by how your brain works" and because Dracula's a cocky SOB he's like "so you don't believe in evil clowns but do you believe in vampires?" And Brucie is like "well everyone says the Batman is a vampire but personally I think the news media made him up like Bigfoot and Armadillos." And Dracula's just like ...wat.

Brucie definitely ends up in the ladies' wing (it's amazing where that man randomly ends up. He gets lost on the way to the bathroom. Maybe he genuinely thought it was his own room). Is he sleeping... or only pretending to? Either way the Girlies aren't the first Femme Fatales to have him under their spell (he's been hypnotized so much...) - but on the other hand he's probably still wearing the crucifix. I don't think that will interrupt the trance though, which might before the best because child death is one of the things he's sensitive about. Dracula carries him back to his room and is like "dang is it just the fact that I've been fasting or is this soft socialite built like a brickhouse???"

So I think Bruce would know better than to remove the crucifix, as I've said, and I also think he'd figure out a way to set an hourly alarm on his watch to break him out of future trances - but does he have the data to figure out the sonic component based just on May 16th or does he need the barking dogs on June 24th as well. I would be willing to give him the possibility of actually being able to understand the Hetman, and also putting together that the people camped out in Dracula's courtyard are probably working for Dracula. Does this mean he won't try to send coded letters - or that he will try, to find out if they get passed to Dracula?

.......okay I don't think he's going to let Dracula get away with going into town with his babysnatching sack. I think when he sees that he's going to act. (Now obviously no one is going to mistake Dracula for him even wearing his suits because the butts don't match). So what does he do? Does he follow him?? Like, I am confident in his ability to make it down the wall even without a grappling hook. He's a whole ninja after all. The Girlies are like ....wait where'd he go? I actually don't know how Dracula effects his babysnatching. I think the funniest option I'd for Bruce (master of disguise) to dress up in Dracula's things (you know how he loves a good cape) and go frighten the villagers first so that they're on high alert when Dracula turns up and he can't find any babies to snatch. I don't know how he could get there first though. His best option is to tail Dracula and then sabotage his efforts by like... knocking over trashcans and things. I dunno. This has kinda gotten away from me.

Okay so assuming he succeeds... what does Dracula do if he can't get a baby? He's got some very opinionated mouths to feed. Maybe he's finally had enough and is like "fine, you can eat the himbo, I'm leaving in a week anyway" and the Girlies are like "so... about that... we tried while you were out (what!?) and he's not here" and Dracula is like "what do you mean he's not here there's nowhere for him to go" and they go and search and find him lounging on something reading the Bradshaw's Guide upside down. And he's like "oh yeah I'm thinking of buying a railroad" and Dracula's like ".......that's upside down" and Brucie is just like "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that makes so much more sense thanks <3"

Regarding the wolves I... don't think Bruce would choose the Certain Death option. He's got all those kids. (Sadly I can't see a way for him to get Free Baby out of this - maybe it's for the best). And afterwards maybe he stows away in one of those dirt boxes... although if he follows Dracula on the 24th does he ever find the dirt boxes? Eh, he's a brilliant detective, of course he finds them.

Anyway, yes, I do think Batman Brucie Wayne, himbo of Gotham can survive Castle Dracula

(Incidentally I personally believe that Batman does have a superpower and it's Environmental Empathy. Dracula's like ...wtf I didn't order these thunderstorms)

#batman #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #tumblr batman #superheroes #aristocrats #detectives #ninjas

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starry-storms · 6 months

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We talk about Brucie Wayne, Bruce's obnoxious rich personality.

But there's gotta be a Dickie Grayson too, right?

You're gonna tell me this kid showed up to galas with Gotham's elite and Bruce was just like "be yourself, even though you really need therapy."

And Dick just... didn't blow their cover? I don't believe it.

This kid had to have played up some type of angle. In my favorite version of him, he gives a little laugh from the darkness when he's fighting villains (which is such a horror movie thing. Love it). He probably knows how to seem cute and dumb to Gotham's ignorant elite.

Brucie is a bachelor with too much money, and Dickie is his giggling kid, with too much time.

#batman #dick grayson #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #dick literally wanted to kill someone he cant have just shown up to the gala

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minnesota-fats · 2 years

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I have seen many of Talia and Bruce are Dannys parents and heard of Danny being Selina's son and but NEVER have I saw Danny still being Maddies son, but Bruce is his biological dad too.

( It could be from a very drunken one-night stand and while Jack knows Danny isn't his biologically, he still treated him like his son which made Maddie love him more )

Maddie doesn't even bother telling Bruce out of fear he might use his money to take Danny from her and the whole Playboy Image wasn't helping.

Like imagine the meltdown from Damian since he's not the only blood son on top of being the youngest son to boot. And if he sees Dani he slowly gaslights himself into thinking she's the secret love child of his father and Selina and might worries there is some weight to Bruce's Playboy Image and there's a 4th blood sibling out there.

Talia wondering who the heck is this Madeline Fenton and how the HELL did she get give Bruce a son first? She's now in the top 5 on her shitlist.

And Vlad having a stroke at the realization that Danny is NOT Jack's bio son but freaking Bruce Wayne, the Playboy from Gotham. And if Bruce and Vlad don't like each other than this will be even more hilarious.

I have seen a fix with Jason as the blood father and Maddie still his mom but not Bruce!

I wonder how they would have met, Maddie and Bruce? Was there a engineer convention at Wayne tower? I bet Bruce had to go and Maddie and Jack were there because SCIENCE!

But Jack probably ran off leaving Maddie at the bar and Maddie just straight up NOT having a good time because this was the 90’s and if I am not mistaken a good chunk of the engineering field was male dominated and a bit misogynistic. And she got fuckin’ plastered and in her drinking haze might have even mistaken one tall black haired blue eyed man for another and decided that leaving with an equal (probably less so but still) drunk Bruce was DTF this random red head because he was also sick of all the misogynistic scientists around. (Also we all know that Bruce has a thing for women who can kick his fuckin ass!)

Or if your not into that the only other thought I had was Jack and Maddie have an open relationship and the reason Maddie doesn’t date Vlad is cuz he’s a big creep! (Jack would so date Vlad if he was given the chance!)

Anyway, after she wakes up and takes one look at the man next to her and is like, “that’s not Jack…” before hightailing it’s out of there!(probably in some sort of eccentric way) She looks for her actual husband the morning after. She realizes what has happened and was going to go home and sleep off her hangover before she tells her husband what had happened. Depending on the scenario Maddie would either be a bundle of nerves or she would be excited to say she found out she slept with Bruce Wayne of all people. (Even though he is known for his Brucie persona, both Jack and Maddie know no simple minded man can run a business like Wayne Industry’s)

Either way Jack would be hyped cuz BRUCE FRICKIN WAYNE!!!! And when he found out Maddie was prego be ever MORE FUCKIN HYPED cuz OH MY FUDGE ANOTHER BABY! (They may not be the best parents but they sure as shit love their kids) Maddie isn’t sure she should keep Danny but seeing Jack so excited she realized it didn’t matter because if he was so happy and she would be happy too.

Cue danny being born and Jazz being a big sister who is very excited to finally know where babies come from (and for her new baby brother I guess). Years later it probably would have never come up again but Vlad during his cloning phase decides to look into Danny’s dna some more. “Probably jacks dumb dna messing with their proses!” (Vlad would so gaslight himself into believing that even though intelligence doesn’t effect dna) and he finds not a sing bit of Jack in Danny.

After recovering from the shock of it Vlad starts scheming, comes up with a plan to use this to drive Jack and Maddie apart. Goes to Jack and in the most dramatic way possible tells Jack about the SHOCKING discovery that danny isn’t his son!

And Jack is like, “oh I know that! And don’t be silly Vlad! Danno might not be mine biologically but he’s still my boy!” And Vlad is about to rip his hair out because of course Jack wouldn’t be bothered with that! What a FOOL!!!

Then Vlad thinking he could salvage this decides to tell Danny who just thinks Vlad is fucking with him until Vlad barrages into the house at 9 am after looking more into who Danny bio dad would be and in the most offended outrage Danny has ever seen from the older halfa says “you slept with BRUCE WAYNE????” To Maddie causing both Danny and Jazz to spit out whatever the hell they were eating all over the table. (Jack: I know right? Pretty cool!!)

After that discovery Danny yeets himself into the ghost zone cuz wow, isn’t that a world shattering discovery to be thrusted upon you at 9 in the morning!

How the Batfam find out I’m not entirely sure? Maybe Danny wanted to meet him (probably not) or maybe it was ghosts hearing about it from some fight that Vlad and Danny have in the GZ and spreading rumors from ghost to ghost until it reaches the undead ears of Boston Brand (Deadman) who tells Constantine or Zatana who tell Bruce who just is plain confused as to why ghosts of all thing would know he has an unknown son (who may be dead???) Or maybe Talia finds out first and sends assassins to kill Maddie (who takes them on like a fuckin’ champ!) and Bruce follows the league of Assassins activity and finds that one woman he had a one night stand with and sees her son who looks too much like him to be a coincidence. Or maybe Damian found out first and this was when he first came to live with Bruce and he was still a little murder-y. He fucking tracks Danny down and is like “there can only be one!” And Danny is like “one what???? But jokes on you there is also more than one of me!” (Dani/Elle) thus causing Damien to go into a rage only to be stopped by what ever Batfam came to stop him! (Danny: what’s with the small angry child?) Dami pouts but moves on. (Can’t kill what’s already dead, maybe???)

Either way Danny would be welcomed into the bat fam with open arms! (Dami is reluctant but comes around when he finds out about Cujo (Dami: and I guess Danny is ok too))

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bruciemilf · 2 years

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Pitching my " Bruce and Harley long lost twins " AU because Margot Robbie and Robert Pattinson look eerily similar and it gave me brainrot-

I feel like Falcone had a hand in separating them, breaking the proud Wayne clan apart ,- what's a daughter missing? Gotham's mean to it's girls, so it'll be just fitting for one to die before they lived.

Maybe it happens when Falcone's still considered a family friend. He offers to drive Martha to the hospital when Thomas can't, and Alfred neither.

As Martha Wayne screams the town down, he has a friendly chat with the staff.

Martha KNOWS she had twins; she just knows. But when she asks, everyone's so puzzled. " Mrs. Wayne, you had a boy; Just... One boy."

" That can't be right," she sniffs, even if she's holding Bruce so tightly to her, a hollow void eats her where her daughter should be. " I had a girl. I know I did. Thomas- Tommy picked that silly name for her, after his pet rabbit. I know it!"

Martha Wayne wasn't thrown in Arkham because she was dangerous; She was locked up because she was a grieving woman, and Thomas Wayne can make that go away, but he can't get his daughter back. She did exist. She was someone.

They have Bruce, until they don't.

CONSIDER THIS; Harley and Riddler in the same orphanage. Him spitting on Bruce even after his parents were murdered, and Harley feeling a sense of wanting to protect Bruce from it??

She doesn't know why. Her fists itch and twitch to punch long and wiry Eddie Nygma in the teeth for saying Bruce deserves it.

Because yes, he's a rich kid. A rich kid with dead parents rotting in the ground.

" So? You're so fucking stupid, Harley. He has MONEY now! He'll be FINE. Meanwhile, US gutter spawns here-"

Harley remembers Eddie holding down Jenny Jameson. Four years old, playful and clueless in a way Gotham murders young.

She remembers her screaming while Eddie shoved rusty nails in her mouth for taking his apple.

He doesn't care about anyone but his goddam self. He couldn't understand Bruce Wayne. Or her.

She never had any family, but doesn't that suck more? To have something love you that only death could make it stop? She sees Bruce Wayne's grief striken ashy face in that square TV.

She grieves, too. She doesn't know why. She just does.

God I love Bruce and Harley being roomates; Meeting as adults, - or as close to adulthood as they'll ever be able to touch.

Bruce doesn't understand why she hangs out with Eddie and Jack. Jack just rubs him the wrong way and Eddie looks at him, hateful edge sharp and cutting and Bruce doesn't mind that;

But he does mind Harley being around them. Especially Jack. " Ah, ya just don't know howtta have fun, Brucie. This is COLLEGE. Be there or be square. Cause he doesn't invite just anyone, ya know?"

" He smells like... Smoke. And bleach," he scrunches his nose. " And he's...Mean."

" That's just how he jokes around! He's a funny guy if you have a sense of humor."

and he HEARD Jack make fun of the scars on Harley's back; He's seen them, because Harley's world doesn't have the word " shame" in it and changes around him frequently.

He did freeze, the first time he saw them. Pale and scarred. Close to unintelligible depending on the lighting. But he does see them. It'd be a kindness for him if he wouldn't.

Dragged. With a sharp object, mkst accurately a piece of glass or razor blade. Thin, but deep. Letters stretched from one shoulder blade to another.

Wayne

Propriety

To which Eddie laughed with, because he and the kids at the orphanage were the authors. They figured if Harley wanted to defend that family so badly, she'll have a sign that fits.

But she didn't need to know that. Bruce does. Bruce knows everything about anyone, seems like.

" No, I mean, - mean to YOU. He makes dumb blonde jokes even if you're at the top of their class. "

" Yeah, well, " Harley shrugs, painting her eyelids with green and purple; She doesn't like either, but Jack told her she'd be prettier if she changed her make up. " Told him I didn't like it, so he's gonna stop...Eventually. he's nice to me sometimes."

" He should be nice to you ALL the time. Just... Don't go. I'll watch that horrible Grey Ghost reboot if you stay with me."

Harley is weak for his puppy eyes; She really is. " Please, Harl. Don't go."

"... Fine," she groans. " I'll be a loser. Just for my favourite roomie."

" I'm the only person who responded to your ad."

" Wanna know why? We're probably meant to be in eachother's lives."

" I don't think Gotham is kind enough to give me a friend like you."

Harley actually tears up and CRUSHES Bruce in a hug, nevermind Jack's stupid " never touch Wayne" rule. " BRUCE. We're gonna be BFFS forever. I'll make you a teeth necklace."

" I think the bracelet's enough."

" You'll be maid of honor at my wedding."

" That's not what it's called."

" You'll be my kid's weird uncle that says phones ruin families and not decades of fermented generational trauma."

"...Sure."

Sure. Bruce can be anything, if he's with her, and she's with him.

#LONG BOI #bruce wayne #harley quinn #batman #twins au #dc #dc comics #batfamily #batfam #battinson #the batman #writing #writing prompt #text post #my writing #fluff #soft bruce wayne

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dairy-farmer · 28 days

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If you like, (as I saw you indeed do, from an ask) De-ageing promts/asks? Consider THIS~!

Everyone always hitting our poor baby boy Tim with that De-Ageing! As though his puss ain't tight and assets perky! Rude! You know who SHOULD be hit?

>:Dc Bruce~

Because him and Ra's are once again going at it. Bruce is not blind and DOES NOT appreciate this man panting after his Son. Is he a hypocrite? Maybe. But he's still gonna punch Ra's about kicking his boy out a window and the various bits of leering.

They do the Traditional by now, Dramatic Heroic/Immortal Sword Fight near the pits.

Ra's makes A Comment(tm). Of what he'll do when Bruce is dead. Since Bruce has failed to join him, Talia failed to give him a Worthy Heir, and Tim proven... Interesting(tm).

Can't do SHIT without limbs, Ra's. Bruce sees red and tries to feed the fucker his own entrails. Very calm. Toooootally thinking clearly.

It was, rather predictably, a trap. But Bruce is a talented man. So now they're BOTH stabbed pretty badly. Very homo-erotic, which is also traditional. Because with Ra's of course it is. Regardless, Ra's has NOT survived this long just to die to Daddy "don't fuck my son".

Into the pits we both go!

Which? Honestly, he's been trying for YEARS to get Bruce to use. So he can see reason. Ra's can admit the irony.

They struggle. Are drowning. Healing. Still impaled. Break free of each other, even as they try to grapple each other into submission. Again, the homo-eroticism is thick enough to choke lesser men. All the while? The pits are healing.

The wounds, yes. But also everything ELSE. They ARE submerged after all. Ra's? Expects this. Bruce? No idea what's coming.

He drags Ra's blade free of his body and breaks surface. Pit furious and seeing green. Damn near baby faced, at JUST under 20.

Turns out taking care of your body means there's less to "Fix". Self destructive Missions come back to bite him once again. But? Shit. Ninjas. Pouring in to help a fresh faced Ra's. Late 20s and in his prime once more. Damn it!

This isn't over, he growls.

Does NOT like the amused way Ra's is smirking.

One fight out and a stolen jet later? Bruce gets to stare in horror at his Twink-ification. Half his sons are physically OLDER then him. There is no way in hell he can hide this with make up. Luckily, it's Gotham.

He stages a kidnapping of himself. "Unknown chemical agent" combined with the INFAMOUS Gotham bay water. Clark, pretending to be him (once he's done laughing) goes in, Twink Bruce comes out.

People believe it.

Brucie Wayne is too dumb to make this up, after all. And stranger things have happened. Once cleared by the hospital? He heads home.

Now what.

He LIKED his Dilf status. His "silver fox in the making". He didn't have to "date". Booze it up or party. He was FREE damn it. He sulks. Jason and Dick are laughing at him.

Tim let's him hide in his office. Starts crafting "new lease on life" PR campaigns. They are, unfortunately, going to have to attend a Fad Pilates-Yoga-Samba Fusion Dance class. He's so sorry.

It's awful.

What's WORSE?

Is he forgot how HORNY he was at this age. It Does. NOT. Stop. Just an endless stream of wanting to thrust and fuck and lick and suck and-. It literally keeps him up at night! Even after patrol! And Selina? She won't touch him with a ten foot pole.

He's "an infant".

Call her when he's fixed.

He ALMOST considers some of the girls in his god awful class. But then they open their mouths and say some of the most soulless, casually cruel, things he's ever heard. And THAT reminds him he has standards.

He manages to find NICE ones, but then THEN start talking? And good lord, they are BABIES. Where are their fathers and why have they failed these wonderful young ladies? Have a college fund. Bruce is your father now.

And STILL horny.

Possibly in hell.

He tells this, even though he probably shouldn't, to Tim. Rants really. Because Tim let him hide again. Brought him coffee and dinner. And? Frankly? TIM is reasonable! Bruce wouldn't BE in this situation if he could find even a SINGLE woman like him!

And Tim watches Bruce pace. Muscles rolling as he walks. Still in work out gear. Young, nearly his age, so hot Tim wants to choke himself on his... Well. Tim COULD point out the obvious. Fleshlights. Modern toys that Bruce could no doubt improve.

OR~ Tim could shoot his shot and go for glory.

......fuck it.

Witness Him.

Tim deliberately splays his legs. Sprawls, open and inviting. And muses, not looking at Bruce of course, if Bruce needs a Woman or just the right hole?

Bruce freezes. Because of course not. He's Bi AF, just REALLY want to fuck a... wait. Wait(tm). Bruce's brain starts punching out Options. Why Would Tim Ask That? He looks at Tim. His body language. Considers if he wants to ignore it or take this clear offer.

He's across the room and plucking the tablet from Tim's hands in a handful of strides. Naked. Now.

Young Bruce is the HORNIEST, NEEDIEST fuck you can imagine. Once you let him in? It's all over. You're gonna wake up to that morning wood pounding your puss. Spend breakfast, being his desert. As he eats you out. Humping your leg like a dog in heat. Gotta go to work? Well not before his good by fuckies! Needs to shoot his load nice and deep, so you know he loves you.

Visit you at the office. Finger fuck you at your desk. Worship your clit like he's trying to win a medal. When you finally can't concentrate any more? Pull you from your office chair and fuck you til you're a sloppy mess on the floor. Don't worry! He brought a plug so you won't mess the change of clothes he brought you! See you at lunch~!

And on and on and on. Because Bruce is physically in the horniest phase of his life, has his FULL Batman stamina, and? Realized almost IMMEDIATELY? Tim cuddles when he's well fucked and exhausted. And Bruce misses him.

So Bruce is gonna take advantage of the situation.

Can't drift away from me and go off to join some random hero team, if I'm the Best Dick Of Your Life. If your body craves me. You get so used to my constant fuckings, your day is incomplete without them~

Use my WORDS? Pshhhhh. No. I'm just going to use a seventy step plan to permanently tie Tim to me for life with my dick! Because I love him! This is a reasonable and well adjusted way for me to act, I'm gonna get such a good grade in Dad. Now if you'll excuse Bruce, he's gonna go fuck his son.

-🐼🐼🐼

!!! oh my god bruce getting deaged would be his worst nightmare ever- having to join 'new age' spritual things like something-yoga or eating some trendy new food because it aligns with his 'brucie' character- add that in to him not being able to fuck within any age group. his new '20 year old peers' are so incredibly immature and he can't fathom breaking his morality enough to fuck them and the older ones wont let him near them because THEY feel like creeps. so tim being the only logical choice left and bruce also being able to kill two birds with one stone by being able to 1. get off and 2. make sure tim stays close to him😭😭😭

#asks #answered asks #anonymous

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sophiesticatedyk · 1 year

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The Prettiest Girl I've Ever Seen || B. Wayne x Reader

Warnings : None (?)

Genre : Fluff, Enemies to Lovers I think ?

Note : I haven't written fanfics in a long time so I'm a lil' rusty😭 Hope you guys still enjoy this !

She Looks Just Like A Dream(Part 2)

Standing in the corner, watching people pass by without even sparing a glance at you. This was a gala hosted by the one and only Bruce Wayne. Your friend worked under him, and therefore was invited to this event while asking you to come for company(Even though she ended up ditching you either way). You have never seen or talked to Bruce in real life, but you weren't fooled by his charms.

I mean sure, he was handsome and all, but what else is there? He was a playboy for God's sake, Gotham's prince. You weren't dumb enough to fall for his tricks.

With your friend out conversing with other people, you started to feel uncomfortable in your long, black, tight dress. You just wanted to go home.

A glass of champagne in your hand, you decided to tell your friend that you were leaving this boring place full of fake smiles and plasticity for the public.

Walking with your eyes focused on the ground, you didn't notice the person who was also going your way, it was too late, though. You had already dropped the glass of alcohol onto the bulky person who bumped into you.

Falling to the ground, you sat there shocked. Everybody gasped and you didn't realize why, until you looked up.

Bruce Wayne, standing there with his arm out waiting for you to grab it. He stood there, stoic and a small smirk played on his lips. It made you feel humiliated.

You grabbed his hand just so the people wouldn't deem you as "rude", and stood up. You mumbled a small "sorry" and brushed yourself off.

Before Bruce could even reply, you already ushered off. You'll text your friend soon, for now you couldn't handle the embarrassment with the situation that just happened.

You finally made your way out and took in the fresh air. No eyes watching your every move, just you, alone and free in the night.

Until the doors of the Wayne Manor opened. Revealing once again, the "Brucie" Wayne.

-Hey, you know this suit was expensive right? You completely ruined it !

You turned around in utter shock at his behavior, he has never even seen you before, why was he acting so rude to a stranger ?

-Listen, YOU were the one who wasn't watching where they were going so, don't blame me on why your precious little suit is stained, Mr. Wayne.

You spoke with a sarcastic smile, which both pissed and flustered Bruce more. He has never felt so... Intimidated. Yes, a random girl at HIS gala scared him. Who could've imagined Bruce could be put in place by a girl way shorter than him ?

-You.. I.. Well..

Bruce stuttered, trying to think of a better comeback. Goddamnit, Bruce, what the hell has gotten into you ? Where's the quick-thinking responses, the undeniable charm ?

You stood impatiently with a deadpanned look, crossing your arms and mildly satisfied you managed to humble the cockiest man on earth.

Soon enough, Bruce just grumbled away with a tiny "whatever" and closed the doors. You chuckled at his defeat and left.

Sooo... Part 2 anybody ?

#batman #dc comics #bruce wayne #batfam #batmom #fanfic #bruce wayne x reader #batfamily #nightwing #dick grayson #jason todd #red hood #red robin #tim drake #cass cain #stephanie brown #damian wayne #robin #haha what am i doing w my life

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cookeybg · 22 days

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Unexpected Cohabitation a JonDami fic

I'm back! Sorry for the delay. You know how it is, when it rains it pours and all that. Here's the next chapter. I couldn't get it the way I wanted but I hope it isn't too bad. It is a short chapter though so I hope you enjoy!

Title: Unexpected Cohabitation

Main Characters: Jonathan Kent and Damian Wayne (some of the others show up too, the list is too long)

Eventual relationship: Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne (my fave)

Stuff to know: No capes, reverse robins, high school AU, no smut, no Brucie Wayne, I know nothing about sports but it will show up, (aaand I think that's it, will add more if it comes up)

[Here's my table of contents]

Part 1 - Chapter 5

“Thank you, Alfred.” Damian said. “You are welcome, Master Damian.” Alfred replied. Jon took a sip of his strawberry juice while he watched Alfred the butler, because the Wayne’s had an actual butler, go down the table refilling the cups for the rest of the children. They were nearly done with the most awkward dinner Jon had ever had and he was ready to go home and bury himself in his blanket for the weekend. The entire time he had sat listening to Conner, who sat to his left, chattering with Tim, who sat across from him, about school and TV shows. The three others on Tim’s right would add to their conversation every once in a while. Jon on the other hand couldn’t even taste his fancy food because Damian’s judgy green eyes would lock on to Jon too often to be comfortable. A servant came in with a food cart filled with what Jon hoped was dessert. Alfred, the butler (Jon wasn’t sure if he could get used to that), fussed over the dessert and gave a nod to the waiter who proceeded announce what they were about to eat. Jon heard nothing. He could feel green orbs burn the side of his face and he tried his best to ignore it. Not being able to take it anymore he stared back, blue locked on to green, green narrowed and blue briefly looked away only to look back and see an infuriating smirk grace Damian’s stupidly handsome face. Jon could feel his face heat up, with a frown he took another sip of his drink and by the grace of whatever god, a waiter came by to collect the last of his dinner and the pointless decorative plate that the real plate had been placed on. Another waiter placed his dessert in front of him telling him to enjoy. Jon stared down at what looked like a baseball sized, round, piece of chocolate. It had two pieces of chocolate spiral ribbon casually leaning on it and gold leaf on top. Next to it lay three slices of what looked like mandarin oranges. He heard a noise and looked up to see that Damian had cracked the chocolate ball with his spoon and the inside had ice cream. When he looked around he noticed that the rest of the table had done the same. “Jon, it taste just like those Cutties oranges!” Conner exclaimed. Jon smiled and broke the chocolate shell with his spoon, it made a satisfying cracking sound and Jon dug in. It really was good and he smiled in contentment. When he looked up, he noticed Damian looking away. Did Damian think he was dumb because he hadn’t figured out what had been in front of him? It wasn’t his fault he had been distracted while the Chef had been explaining their meal. Jon grumbled finishing the delicious meal.

“Kids! We have both good news and bad news to announce!” Clark’s voice was a volume louder than it normally would have been, but Jon could see the flush on his cheeks caused by the wine he kept on drinking. “Tell them the good news first!” Lois was no different since Bruce and Talia kept filling their wine glasses throughout dinner. Clark nodded and looked back at the rest of the table and gave his patented Kent smile. “We won the bid for the house we went to look at during summer break!” “No way!” Conner and Jon yelled at the same time. “The bad news is, it’s not move in ready yet.” Lois said making an exaggerated pout. “But the good news is, instead of renewing the contract for the apartment, the Bruce and Talia have offered their home while we finalize all the paperwork!” There were shocked exclamation throughout the table but none as loud as Jon’s, “What!” “Tt, father, has your adoption habit expanded to include a whole family?” Damian said, throwing his napkin on his plate, leaning back and crossing his arms. He scowled at both his parents but his fiery glare landed on Bruce. “Damian.” Talia admonished. “Now, son, you can think of this as a sleepover with one of your friends.” Bruce patted Damian’s head. “He is not my friend!” Damian hissed swatting Bruce’s hand away. “I think it will be fun!” Dick popped out of nowhere and latched onto Damian’s waist, hanging awkwardly onto him. “Richard, these aren’t good table manners.” Damian sighed as he adjusted Dick to sit properly on his lap. “You were slouching!” Dick smiled happily and Bruce ruffled his dark locks as well. “I think it’ll be fun too.” Jason and Cassandra had snuck up to stand behind Damian’s chair and Jason gave Jon a mischievous grin, while Cassandra nodded agreeably. “I can show you my gaming set up.” Tim told Conner. “It’s settled then.” Clark said. “Wait,” Jon’s voice cracked when he yelled, making him blush, but he continued, “hold on! W-when is this happening?” “Next week. It gives us plenty of time to pack and put things in storage.” Lois said. Jon leaned back dumbfounded. He looked over at Damian in dismay. Damian was fixing Dick’s hair while his stayed ruffled. Jon was not looking forward to this.

FYI: They did not drink and drive, they took a Lyft home.

#damian wayne #damian al ghul #jon kent #jonathan samuel kent #jonathan kent #damian and jon #jondami #damijon #high school au #no capes au #fanfic #fanfiction #first time writing #supersons

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the-ace-reader · 2 years

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In the vein of “Do the butts match?!?!” I present to you my meager offering for the Batman/Justice League fandom:

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

My friend, currently into DC - *texts me this image*

Me, not in the DC fandom, but knows enough through her and this hellsite (affectionate) to have some fun - Our Universe: Billionaire Bruce Wayne is secretly BatmanTM, the broody vigilante of nightmares. The Universe Pictured: Playboy Brucie Wayne is out and proud DRAGMAN, the superhero of your dreams! Yes you, cutie!~ ;)

Friend, currently on a fanfiction binge - Lol 😂 Oh my god now I really want a drag Queen Bruce fic I also want him to still be Batman. The juxtaposition of him as a sassy drag Queen a dumb playboy billionaire and a brooding vigilante is hilarious.

Me, a wannabe writer with a chaotic streak a mile wide, far too much creativity, and no one physically present to stop me - Okay but his drag Queen getup absolutely HAS to be based on Batman. He'll claim he just has a crush on the hero and “always liked the bad boys 😘” and everyone either thinks it's true or that he's mocking Batman.

And if anyone even thinks to voice “maybe..... Bruce Wayne... is Batman?” The IMMEDIATE response would be eye rolls and incredulity and “are you for fucking real? Brucie Wayne fucking DRAGS Batman. Literally and figuratively. There is 0 resemblance and NO way emo Bat Boy could possibly stomach all that glitter. Batman wouldn't be caught DEAD in glitter!”

Meanwhile, Bruce is sitting there in full Batman mode, saying nothing because otherwise he'd be cackling, texting Alfred (because of course Alfred makes his outfits, who else has that sharp fashion sense? If Bruce brings the drama, Alfred brings the Queen 👑) to ask him to make DRAGMAN's next outfit with 100000000000% more glitter, sequins, and sparkles out of spite because exCUSE you members of the JL?! He looks FABULOUS in glitter, thank you very much, and he damn well knows it!

The next time the JL sees DRAGMAN on TV in his new disco ball outfit that he still somehow rocks, the unfortunate team member that suggested that Bruce Wayne might be Batman is laughed out of the room.

Weeks later, Bruce is “caught” by that same member without his mask on. They both look at each other for a second, the member in shock and Bruce in absolute amusement, before Bruce puts on the Batman mask and says in DRAGMAN's signature cutesy, bubbly voice “no one will ever believe you” and walks away.

The member doesn't even try to say anything. Because they know that he is 100% right.

The JL member unfortunate enough for this to happen to?

It's Plastic Man.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Thank you to @crookedlynerdywriter for being as insane as I am and allowing my chaos to flourish! 😂

#dc comics #dc batman #batman #bruce wayne #justice league #plastic man #alfred pennyworth #drag queen #drama queen #brucie wayne #DRAGMAN #funny #dcu #dc universe #JLA #dc au #the justice league #dc characters #batman au

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shrimpngritcakes · 1 year

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Just a few random Timber based prompts I don't have time to write up myself so I'm tossing them out.

Bruce p.o.v.

Bruce goes to officially meet Bernard's parents at some event WE is hosting.

Bernard's parents don't realize he's behind them when they make a few "choice comments" about Tim (and Bernard) despite the person they're speaking with trying to signal them to stop talking.

"Brucie" Wayne proceeds to kill them with "kindness" before banning them from all things WE related.

After escorting them out to the parking lot, the act drops and "Bruce" lets them really have it. He has the means to destroy them, so leave Tim's name out of their mouths. "No, he's a legal adult. You have no say. None. You can't force him to do what you want anymore. If you won't support him, I will."

(Bernard in his head, "Am I a Robin now?")

-----

A massive Arkham breakout causes the Bats to focus on their capture. Someone uses the distraction to up their own plans. Oracle contacts Bernard, who ends up running around in a combination of Spoiler and Robin uniforms kept at Tim's with Barbara in his ear. "You know I already knew, right?" "No, but you're explaining that later."

Bonus if he captures one of the Arkham villians. "I don't have time for your shit."

Stephanie has no clue what they're talking about when she returns to Gotham. Barbara can't "find" any clue to their identity.

-----

Bernard convinces the Waynes to play frisbee golf during a picnic. They all play dumb except Dick who uses his circus experience as an explanation. Bruce is suspicious after Bernard says, "Oh for... I know you can do better than this!"

Later, the Bats get into a heated game using their weapons after someone makes an offhand comment about winning by a landslide if they had played earlier.

-----

Tim doesn't realize Bernard has been kidnapped again until video pops up showing Gotham citizens "the identity of Batman." Oracle is searching for them while Bernard makes shit up and being his conspiracy theory self ("Some people think its *random name* online, but..."). While the villain is ranting at the camera, Bernard looks away and mumbles under his breath for "flyboy" to come rescue him before he's coerced into "telling the truth about BW."

But it's not Kon who shows up. "He knows, Tim." "Huh?" "He had to have said something big to get Clark to answer him."

Clark "flukes" his way into freeing Bernard. "Oh, sorry!" after hitting one of the goons upside the head with his tablet. "Accidentally" slipping in water, etc. Bruce, "Do you and Lois rehearse these situations?"

"Yo, Gotham. Listen. I don't know who they are. I just work in a restaurant where they stop for food every so often. That's it. The deli down the street gives them free stuff, too. The coffeeshop gives them drinks! Just because we give them things doesn't mean we know who they are! So all you villians who want to capture us can piss right the fuck off."

-----

Bernard reluctantly goes on a "working" ski vacation with his parents to "keep up appearances." An avalanche buries him. Yelling out for any super to get him out begins the secret that everyone, except the bats, knows Bernard knows. Hijinks ensue until Bruce figures it out.

-----

Bernard says he'll wait for Tim to tell him on his own.

Until he's left in the presence of Brucie Wayne for too long while waiting for Tim to get something from his old room.

"Okay. I'm done. This is just too disturbing. Mr. Wayne, for the love of... Please drop the act. I can't take it anymore."

#timber #timbern #tim drake #bernard dowd

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zipperzoo · 2 years

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FIGHT TO MAKE IT UP

The Batman (2022) bruce wayne x f!reader

Word count: - 6.6k

Masterlist / AO3 / Playlist

Themes: Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Crime Family, Thriller, Nior, Heist, Action, Comedy, Crime.

Warning: Description of illegal substances as well as taking them.

EDIT: Minor fixes and edits have been made: Grammar, spelling and small tweaks easing the flow of the story.

Chapter three:

I start and end the day with a chorus, my red chest all puffed ready for a fight for those before us. What am I?

“Hey uh- Sausages, what's the coincidence of Penguin being here at the very circus we crashed through?”

“Guess we just got very lucky. Apparently he is here for business.”

On the outskirts of Gotham. A lone car sat a fair distance from the vibrant life of the circus. Three people emerged from the said car. The Absence of an umbrella resulted in their rather wet dog appearances as they strolled towards the circus acting dumb founded by their own mess. Bruce was hunched over to match the height of Sausages who was towering behind him, pushing him forward.

“Yeah but of all things. We crash into a circus on the outskirts of Gotham and then Penguin just happens to be here?” Bruce stumbled from Sausage's shove and only missed bumping into Y/N by a hair. Letting out a sigh of relief, revealing his subtle ease of anxiety.

Bruce’s hands were still tied up while his feet were free, allowing him the ease of walking. He was sandwiched between Sausages and Y/N, too many people were around, making an escape impossible in the present time. Bruce had to keep an eye out for a window of opportunity and avoid any attention. The last thing he would have wanted was to draw attention.

“Princess, can’t we just take this luck since we are in a deep sea of fucked.” Sausages grabbed Bruce by the shoulder pulling him back to stand up straight. Bruce: Perfectly still and emotionless, face betraying nothing.

“It's your fault, if you made a more solid plan and didn’t abduct Mr Wayne.” She declared.

The entire floor leading to the circus was covered in papers. A little run way of sorts. Halting, she bent over and picked up a soggy and fragile Flying Grayson poster, inspecting it. The words in blue at the very bottom ‘A Death Defying Act’ read in bold. She struggled to make out a lot of the smaller print words. The letters jumbled and danced on the page, struggling to focus on a singular line let alone a word- but the name of Oswald Cobblepot stuck out. She got some sort of answer to why the Penguin was at the circus then but it still felt like she was missing the larger picture.

“Wouldn’t have cocked up if you weren't snooping around Brucie’s home princess.”

“Don’t call me that. Besides I wouldn't have been snooping if the shitty batman walkie talkie’s batteries didn't die.” She lied. Squinting her eyes, glimpsing ahead slightly, she could tell from a distance that tents, caravans and cars were plastered with ‘Flying Grayson's’ posters. Whoever paid for their advertisement leaflets surely was over compensating for this show. Y/N scoffed, the people on the poster looked ridiculous in their green and yellow tight outfits and on top that, they looked like a family of performers.

Bruce’s face cringed wait a minute- Batman themed walkie talkies? The more information that surfaced about these two the more Bruce was convinced they worked for Oz. Only he would hire people as ridiculous as these. The two back at the Iceberg lounge came to mind. Sausages and Y/N seriously couldn't be real- how they managed to get Bruce, rob him and get here? Pure and dumb stupid luck that was soon to run out. Only the penguin would hire complete idiots who were stupidly lucky.

Also what company was commercializing Bruce's alter ego? Making toys- simplifying his character, stripping away the whole purpose of Batman for consumption. What a shit show. Something Bruce was going to have to look into with Alfred. Over commercializing Batman will have a huge effect on how people view him for sure.

“Funny. Mine was fine. Also I told you to wait in the car for Bella Reál to show up!”

Chewing her lip, Y/N replied, sounding irritated. “I used up my battery trying to get through to you but you gave me the cold shoulder.”

Huffing a subtle laugh, she continued to survey the poster. The boy at the back of the poster looked way too thrilled to be exploited by his parents. A stupid little cartoon grin plastered on his face as his guardians just threw him into the air.

Turning his head to the side to let out a cheeky guffaw. Sausages ruffling Bruce’s hair then gave a snide comment. “Because- I was busy flirting, princess.”

Y/N screwed up the poster in her hands and threw it over her shoulder, bonking Bruce on the forehead when her target was intended to be Sausages. Bruce was not getting a break. He let out a pained sigh. Sausages pulled a face, trying not to laugh at Bruce’s expense.

—

Sausages Buzzed in on the radio. "Getting cold feet princess?”

Tapping the radio against the wheel, taking one last look around before responding. Two security guards stood at the door while two cars were stationed out front. She was parked near them but not too close. Just far enough to keep an eye on them. “Can’t you pick a better nickname than fucking princess?”

“It's funny to see you tense up and get annoyed!”

“Har har.” She sunk into her seat, looking through her rear-view mirror. A car just sitting by the main doors, she squinted her eyes, swearing she saw it before. Until it clicked, she saw it on the tv when the old mayor's funeral was televised. It was Bruce Wayne’s car. She swallowed then pressed the button on the side of the yellow batman walkie talkie “Sausages. I’m getting anxious.”

“Alright alright.” He responded instantly.

Sausages was at the front desk giving the man at the desk a celebrity smile. Attempting to flirt his way through. “Hey.” he raised his brows. The man at the desk on his phone gave a confusing glance at Sausages.

The entire first floor was sickly clean. The Smell of fresh bleach and everything had a reflection. The table, the walls, even the floor. One wrong move and slip and you’d crash and crack open your head. It was all so corporate. They’d probably even sue you for wrecking up their floor.

“Puis-je vous aider Monsieur?” Sausages blinked, twice. The man at the desk was speaking, he thinks -French?

“Oui?” he sounded unsure.

“Si vous êtes ici pour un événement caritatif, j'aurai besoin de voir une pièce d'identité. Si vous êtes ici pour M. Wayne, je dois vous dire qu'il est absent du bureau pour un événement qui se déroule dans le hall principal.” He said the entire thing with no breaks and with ease. Sausages just stared- frozen.

“I’m waiting.” Y/N buzzed through breaking him out of the ice the man’s French put him in. The man behind the desk’s eyes darted to the batman walkie talkie. Sausages' let out an awkward laugh.

“Psh- it's uh… It's my niece. Kids these days love the big shadowy guy” He turned around from the desk and responded to Y/N. “Just give me five minutes!”

“Just fucking debrief me!”

“I can’t princess” He looked at the guy behind the desk, and flashed him a wink. The man in return turned bright red and spun around on his chair- pretending to be busy. Just long enough for Sausages to reply to Y/N “I'm a little busy right now, give me just long enough to get somewhere to prep.”

“Could have just fucking told me when-” he turned his walkie talkie off. Cutting her off, while she was very likely yelling to herself in the car.

Turning his entire body back to the desk, leaning across it and steadily reaching over and grabbing a chocolate treat off the man's desk. “Sorry about that.” Unfolding the wrapper to then plop the chocolate in his mouth all while holding eye contact with the receptionist.

“Would English be better sir?”

“Y-yes…”

“How may I help you sir?”

Sausages wet his lips. “Oh you can help me alright.”

Outside the tower security was tightening up. Y/N watched as several officers walked through but no Bruce Wayne? She saw paparazzi images of him once. He was captured leaving the tower to attend a funeral, another time allegedly meeting some women. Suddenly a thought ran through her mind. What if she gets a snap of him and sells that image. Get a good buck or two.

It was a silly idea that she easily shook off. But the longer she waited the more the rich boy had been on her mind. Why hasn't he come out yet? The auction started hours ago?

—

Approaching the tents, Sausages grunted. “Apparently his thugs will be meeting us somewhere around the big tent.”

“You mean beevus and butthead?”

To walk at a steady pace, Sausages made sure Bruce stayed within distance. They were all being gawked at by the tourists and entertainers of the circus. Spinning lights twinkled in the distance as loud crashing gleeful cheers and chatter washed over the entire field. It allowed excitement to brew, something very alienating to Gotham and its image with its out of world appeal. The rain didn't bother anyone but it sure did take a toll on the tents, the streetlights and support beams as they all looked worn with acid rain. If it wasn't for the flashing lights and the large crowds one would think this was a forgotten place. Lost to time.

Patting poor Bruce on the shoulders causing him to flinch, Sausages replied. “Exactly those two bozo’s!” Bruce recoiled from Sausage's touch, he gave Bruce a big old pouty lip. “You haven't met them, have you Brucie? Hey princess! Do you think those two idiots share a brain cell? Do you think they’ll even comprehend that we have good old Brucie here!”

“Who knows, a lot of people are scared of twins because of that sort of conspiracy bullshit.”

The entire layout of the circus was like fairy ring mushrooms, red and white striped tents built up in one giant circle. With an outline of tents the centre was full of carts of food and merchandise and carnival games. But of course- with a huge fucking slide with tire marks slashed through it, kicked mud up everywhere. There were one or two tents completely destroyed. The trio wandered through the slice surrounded by the aftermath of their destruction, acting like they themselves didn't create it but Bruce avoided stepping on the tire marks.

Reaching the belly of the circus, folks crowded around one another. At the beer stands or the food stalls before entering the tents. The largest one that held the most gravitational pull of the crowd had the large ‘Flying Grayson's’ poster outside it by the entrance. Guess that's where those funky bunch are performing.

While nose diving through the crowd just as it grew thinner, some stranger, dressed up with green hair and white face paint patted Y/N’s shoulder. She snapped around, giving her full attention. He held up a small transparent box full of little bags. Ah, it was his special box and he was offering something for her. She cringed and shook her head. Even Bruce was offered something, he just stared at the man then back at Y/N not letting a single line give away a thought behind those eyes- eyes constantly shrouded in darkness and secrets.

Sausages on the other hand, threw his hand up in the air as if to say me me me! The clown smile grew revealing several missing teeth and a few rotten ones covered in his red lipstick. Lovely.

Opening his box Bruce inspected it. Of course it’s the full cocktail of stuff even fucking needles. Ket, Cocaine, Shrooms, even acid tabs? Looked like drops also. Bruce looked over to Y/N who was refusing to look at the situation. Arms crossed and tapped her foot onto the grass as Sausage's eyes were hungry. He looked eagerly at the shrooms, whipping his head up at the clown for permission. The clown shoved the box into his face. Insinuating a yes.

Sausages took a handful of shrooms- even the clown broke character and looked concerned. He shoved the entire fist full down his throat. That will bite his ass later.

While waiting for the transaction to take place, Y/N looked around at the crowd. For a second she swears she saw the dead guy with the suitcase smiling at her. She had to double take. He wasn't there. His image was haunting her- him and that huge hole in his head.

She didn't know what was worse. The fact she was seeing his face and gaping wound in the crowd on strangers faces, or that he is sitting in the back seat of her car. A shiver ran up her spine. Averting her gaze to the floor, looking at her feet to then look back at Sausages and Bruce.

The clown shook the box and then walked off giggling, even offering more people some of his treasures. Even shook it in a child's face.

Sausages patted his stomach and turned to Y/N. “Should have had something from that guy- his pick’n’mix was literally a fucking pick’n’mix!” pouting his lips at Bruce, Sausages continued. “Maybe you should have had some Brucie- would have gotten that stick out of your ass.”

“Leave him alone, Sausages.” Y/N uttered, shaking her head and moving on. They drew closer to the meeting point. The crowd was finally getting smaller and Y/N felt relief.

“Hm- You're a bit protective with our pal here.” Sausages shook Bruce a little. Bruce was being very docile. “Should I be worried you two will run off when the shrooms kick in?” he teased.

“Buddy, what do you think is gonna happen? Me and Mr Wayne run off with each other into the sunset holding hands? Maybe even our dead buddy waking up from his death nap and stealing our car while we are on the topic of make believe!” While speaking aloud, she smiled and nodded at those who passed them who pulled faces at her words. Not caring if they heard her or not. One woman covered the ears of her child and she scooted away.

“I mean who knows, it's been one of those kinds of nights you know?”

“It's unlikely.” Bruce stated.

Smacking his hands either side of Bruce’s shoulders “He speaks! Thought you swallowed your tongue at some point in the joy ride.” he joked. Bruce tensed up.

“Give it a rest.” She snapped, looking left and right before shuffling between two tents. Getting out of the crowd to a more secluded area of the chaos. Sausages and Bruce followed behind.

“What wriggled its way up your ass and died.” Sausages muttered. It caught Bruce’s attention and he blinked to process it briefly.

Y/N hung back on a step for a second, also processing what he said. “What?- Do… Do you mean who took a shit in my breakfast this morning?”

“Do I?”

“Sausages. Shut up.”

Once on the outskirts, the crowd drew thinner and thinner until eventually on the outskirts of the tents they awaited. Alone. Only meters away from the meeting point.

Drawing closer to the back of the large tent that illuminated in a warm glow surrounded by darkness and endless emptiness of the field to have a wall of cold empty tents on the other side of them. Bruce scanned around. Just as Sausages and Y/N fell silent the quiet was loud and perfect. With no one in sight and submerged in the shadows, Bruce seized his opportunity.

Bumping sausages back to then jump, bringing his tied up hands in front of him. Sausages stumbling- reached to grab Bruce by the arm to then be welcomed by a powerful strike from Bruce. He elbowed him in the stomach winding him.

Y/N spun around, but was too slow as Bruce dipped down and knocked her off her feet making her fly backwards into the mud. It was all too fast for her to process.

Standing up straight Bruce snapped his binds, by making his hands into fists and bringing them down sharply together, pulling his elbows apart and pressing his wrists hard into his abdomen. In one fierce force he was free.

Chest rising and falling, gearing into a fighting stance. It’s like Bruce shape-shifted before their eyes. From a pathetic wet cat kind of boy to a man who has purpose in his movements. Someone to fear.

Sausages reached round to try and bring him into a headlock, but Sausages was punched in the face. Bruce was quick and held his composer while Sausages took hazardous steps back holding his nose, which was now gushing blood.

“FUCK!” screeched Sausages “You cunt!” he began to sob.

Y/N scrambled to her feet all caked in mud but Bruce clasped her by the neck and then pinned her against the side of a van, leaning in close. Struggling against his grip, she slammed her fist to his forearm in a desperate plea for him to let her go. Eyes darted between Bruce and Sausages who was too busy nursing his nose. All her focus snapped to Bruce as his hand burned into her neck.

Goggled-eyed and tongue- tied, Y/N gave in and stared directly into Bruce’s eyes, falling limp.

Huh, she never noticed how blue they were. Blue with a ring of earth green around the pupil. Little specks of dark blue sprayed across the palette. It was like the moment after dusk where night had just begun but it was still light enough to see the sky and its handsome bright stars. His long lashes drew inwards urging the attention to his irises. Time had felt painfully slow as she was eaten up by his gaze.

The slight wobble of his stern gaze dragged her out of the black hole she found herself falling into. It was becoming alarmingly clear that the only way out of this predicament was to fight.

Lifting her hand up to break out of his hold. He spoke, disrupting her “Y/N, don’t bother.” He hushed her. The way he spoke her name caused her skin to vibrate with a mix of confusing emotions.

He had her pinned up, and was trying to silence her. She saw red. They had gotten along just fine earlier then suddenly this? She scrunched her face up, separating her knees apart then swung her arm, smacking the inside of his wrist that held her by the throat. Swinging her body around by shifting her weight into her push. Positioning her in a perfect spot to elbow him in the face or to wrap his head into a guillotine choke hold.

Bruce Grabbed her wrist before she managed to go any further with her self defense stance. He yanked her down, resulting in her splashing onto her knees in the mud.

The man had some fucking strength on him- brute strength. He was much stronger than the old man back at the tower.

Eyeballing her, observing her as she kneeled there in the mud, his hand still holding her wrist up in the air. His touch burnt, it fucking burnt through her skin and it throbbed in her mind. His hands were rough, coarse from scratches and cuts but he had a soft touch.

Running up behind him, with blood smeared from his nose to across his cheek. Sausages yelled “MOTHER FUCKER!” holding a bat he somehow grabbed a hold of. Bruce cut his attention from Y/N to then see Sausages. With little to no ease grabbed the top of the bat and let out a deep sigh varnished in annoyance.

Sausage’s face fell flat. He hoped he could beat Bruce to a pulp but instead opened up his mouth to let blood trickle down and coat his teeth, smiling a pathetic smile. Raising both of his arms up in a piteous surrender.

“What is the Penguin up to?” Bruce spat, pulling the bat out of Sausage's grip. Sausages let go glancing over to Y/N who kneeled on the floor, caked in mud just staring up at Bruce. Bewildered.

Bruce had caught Y/N off guard in the car and since discovering he was far from what she expected, that he may have been nice and just some weirdo that she made out to be the personification of capital. The object that she projected all her financial struggles on just because he was doing better off than her. This was different. Bruce had just revealed to her that he is sneaky, calculating and really good at catching people by surprise.

He won't catch her off guard ever again.

Grabbing his nose, Sausages drew back. “It's none of your business pretty boy.”

“We made a deal.” Y/N spoke up, dropping her head down. Arm going limp in Bruce’s hold. “Oz took advantage of the floods- people needed money, shelter and support. He exploited that. We needed money.”

Tossing the bat to the side, Bruce pushed further. "Is that what he did to you? Exploit you?”

Snatching her arm out of Bruce’s grasp, offended at his tone but his grip only tightened. “Listen your high-ass, I was alone in Gotham, jobless and terrified to take on night shifts so- I turned to Oz. Not like I have some dead parent’s money to fall back on.”

“The amount of us that lose jobs because a furry who runs around at night taking out the only people giving us jobs is fucking crazy.” Sausages tipped his head back, blood trickling down his chin and down his neck. A red trail that only grew darker. His breath was sharp and croaky.

Bruce gave Sausages narrow eyes while he faced Y/N. She seemed to be most willing to talk. His voice became softer as his tone was directed towards her. “What is the Penguin up to?”

“I don't know.” she confessed. “Let go of me.” she tried to rip her hand free of Bruce's grip once more. He let go this time, drawing her hand closer to her chest to rub where he held. His touch felt like it was engraved into her wrist, pulsing. “I just want to leave Gotham.”

“Best to leave Gotham now.” Bruce voiced.

“Easy for you to say. You don’t owe a mob boss a fucking arm and a leg.”

“Wow!” All of their attention suddenly turned and saw a child chewing on a candy apple. “Holy catastrophe.”

Sausages pinching the bridge of his nose turned to face Y/N and Bruce then back to the child. “Did the shrooms kick in yet or are we all seeing a kid right there dressed in green and yellow?”

“Oh god is that-”

Bruce shifted on his feet “A flying Grayson?”

The child raised his brows and continued to dig his teeth into the delectable treat. He looked no more than twelve? He was wearing a gymnastic suit with tights. Oh the poor kid, his parents probably forced him to dress up like that.

“No need to stop on my account.” He delicately walked over and threw the core of his candy apple and the stick into the correct bin. Oh great, a goody two shoes. He then turned and clapped. “There were some rusty parts in that fight but lots of room for improvement!”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to feed those things after midnight?” Sausages said turning to Y/N and Bruce. “Let alone letting it out of its fucking cage.”

“Hey!” cried out the child.

Y/N shifted her eyes to Bruce who was more attentive towards the child. She took in a sharp breath inwards.

“Hey? What are you, a horse?”

“I am a Grayson!”

Paying no mind to the child, her attention was on Bruce. His jaw clenched as it looked like he was nervous? Was the presence of the child making him nervous? Bruce locked eyes with the child, frozen in place. Looked really weird.

Bringing her knee up and launching herself up to push Bruce over, catching him by surprise. He was under her. Pinning his arms above his head. She grinned. “Pardon for not blowing sunshine up your ass.” His brows creased as he glared at her. “But you're entire appeal expired the moment you fucking had me in a choke hold asshole.”

“Likewise.” he commented while a smile that is so slight Y/N was not sure it even happened grew on his face momentarily. His hair now covered in mud, ruining his neat and clean black locks. She pouted in response.

The young Grayson was in two minds about what to do but ran up to Sausages who was just watching his pal pin a billionaire onto the floor- cheering her on. Taking him by surprise, Grayson tackled him- thinking he was helping Bruce out.

The child jumped on top of the trash can and performed a Corkscrew move in the air to kick Sausages in the face to then jump up and wrap his legs around his head to the drums on the top of Sausages crown.

“Get off me you monkey!” Squalled Sausages spinning around attempting to throw the child off him.

“I’m not a monkey! I’m a flying Grayson!” The young child put his hands over Sausage's eyes, trying to gauge his eyes out.

“Flying fucking piece of shit in a minute mate!”

“Why are you swearing at a child?”

“You? A child? You're a gremlin, you little shit!”

Bruce flipped Y/N over. He was now on top. She laid there with her arms pinned up above her while he saddled her to hold her down. Bruce would be lying to himself if he didn't think he was admiring her from this angle.

With the hectic noise of Sausages and the young flying Grayson being background noise, Y/N wanted to break the unnerving tension between her and Bruce. She tried to spit in his face but gravity wasn't her friend. The spit flew up a little and came back down onto her forehead. Bruce tried his best to not laugh but his lips did twitch. She burnt her eyes into his beautiful ones, full of rage and embarrassment.

“Well well well. What's all this then?” The voice was familiar to Y/N. She closed her eyes, Bruce studied her expression to glance over his shoulder, catching the young Grayson no longer attacking Sausages, they both had paused their antics to stare agape at the two silhouettes.

Slowly walking towards the group were two identical twins. One of them was clapping their hands in astonishment.

“You two fucking idiots having a party here? While the boss is waiting for you both?” He scratched his nose and darted his gaze around the mess. “Who the ever loving fuck are these two with you both?”

The other twin pointed at Sausages and the child, “Is that a fucking child on you hot-dog boy.”

“I’d be thrilled if you could help me out you bozos.” Sausages gave a last attempt to shake the kid off.

“Nah. Love seeing you getting humbled. Especially by an infant barely out of diapers.” cackled one of the nameless twins.

“Oh shit is that- Is that Bruce Wayne? Is that homeless looking guy Bruce Wayne?” One of the twins nudged the other.

“Oh my god it is Bruce fucking Wayne!” Bruce was getting real tired of people being surprised to see him.

“Yeah! On top of the pretty princess, no less!”

“Hey! Only I get to call her that!! Yelped Sausages yanking the child’s arm, trying to pull him off. The Grayson who was still on Sausages just started pulling at his hair, like how that rat would in ratatouille.

“You call her pretty princess? What are you her dad?” Yelled the child.

“It is an odd nickname to be honest.” spoke up one of the twins. “She is nothing like a princess, more so a chambermaid.”

“Always thought she was prudish.”

Bruce looked away from them to Y/N whose face was growing redder by the second. She was about to explode. She fucking hated that nickname. The nickname Sausages has been calling her ever since they met and it was easily being caught on by everyone around them.

“Will you all shut up and maybe you two twits will help me and Sausages instead of sitting there and watching with your mouths open catching flies!” She screamed. Bruce gave her a once over look. She didn't like him just staring at her. Hated how quiet he was and how all he did was just stare.

“With that attitude maybe we just won't help you out.”

“We were honestly considering it.”

“Considering it?!” She wriggled in Bruce’s grasp. “What do you mean by considering it?!”

“Means what it means princess, beevus and butthead are just as stupid and as selfish as they look.”

“Say you!” The kid said, ripping out a fist full of Sausage's hair causing him to scream out and call the kid an array of colourful names.

“Shut up Dick.” One of the twins walked over and plucked the child up from the scruff of his collar, like a cat holding its young. “You weren't supposed to leave your tent.” The young Grayson started kicking his legs in the air, wiggling and struggling to get free.

“And you! That's not very nice to call us names!” The other twin pointed at Sausages and Y/N just before pulling Bruce off her by his arm. Brush shrugged him off and stood up on his own. Window of escape had closed. He had better luck following along if he wanted to see what the penguin was up to.

Once getting up onto his feet, the twin tried to roughly grab him but Bruce punched the guy in the face from behind. Did some mighty damage but the big guy just shook it off and punched Bruce in the face in return. While Bruce was stunned for a second, the twin grabbed both of his arms behind him and held him hostage.

“Got a solid punch there pretty boy.” The twin spat out, spitting out some blood. Bruce dipped his head down and remained quiet.

The situation was dealt with. Y/N scrambled up to her feet. “Thanks…”

“Would have been over with a lot sooner if you had just asked nicely” The twin who held the kid in the air said. Y/N mocked a polite smile his way before turning to Bruce. She wanted to sock him in the jaw so badly but one glance through his dark and long lashes to look at her- she felt soft for a moment and her throat became dry. She didn't want to even bother anymore.

Scoffing, turning to face Sausages who has blood running down his face, just to avoid looking at Bruce. Y/N could quite frankly kill for a shower right now. Covered in mud and dirt, she rubbed her forearm on her forehead wiping off her pathetic spit off her.

“Hey, big boy. Did you just call that kid a dick? Low blow.” Sausages muttered lifting his shirt to soak up the blood from his face.

“That's his name.” spoke up the twin holding Bruce.

“What?” Sausage's face was a grimace. Pulling the fabric away from his face for a second, squinting at the twins.

“The kid's name is Dick Grayson, wise guy.” He gently shook Dick Grayson in the air, showing him off.

“Don't talk about me when I'm right here!” Dick was still swinging his legs and swinging punches in the air. “It's rude!”

“Wow, your parents must really hate you kid.” Sausages snickered while Y/N shook her head.

^v^

In an isolated room, illuminated by the warm glow of the Victorian lights in Wayne Tower. Alfred sat holding his hands on his lap. A paramedic was attending to his wound on his knee. They were having small talk and bantering about the mess of the hardwood floor.

The paramedic wore bright green and yellow uniform, a radio strapped to their breast that buzzed in and out about locations and alerts. They kneeled down besides Alfred with their box’s mouth open wide besides them exposing their tools. Alfred couldn't help but look- reminded him of his younger years as a MI5 agent. He would constantly get injured and saw medical attention regularly but as time had its way with him, he saw it less and less.

He of course had his own ‘tool box’ for when Bruce would come back from a night black and blue. Alfred was all Bruce had and that even meant for company, family and support.

A smile flashed across his face as he remembered fondly teaching Bruce how to sew a wound himself.

“Not the first time a mess like that has occurred.” Alfred had an upbeat tone to his voice. Hinting at the messy crime screen.

“What, with blood?” Asked the paramedic, applying petroleum jelly to the open wound, prepping it for stitches.

Alfred flinched from the striking pain. “No no no- Mr Wayne got a little joyful with the spray paint one time.”

“Psh- why on earth would Wayne spray paint his own floor?” Pulling out a curved needle, sterilizing it. “Seems out of character for a guy like him.”

“Mr Wayne likes his arts and crafts I guess.” Alfred eyed the paramedic. Preparing himself for the pain to come. Taking in a deep breath and letting it out as he straightened his posture. “The tabloids don't really do him justice. He is just like any man his age.” Besides the fact that he is severely mentally ill and dresses up as a bat at night, yeah. One could say he is just like any dude his age.

“I surely cannot imagine Bruce Wayne with spray paint let alone making macaroni necklaces.” The paramedic forced a laugh at their cheesy joke.

“Oh we have loads of those actually- somewhere. He had made his mother a few macaroni necklaces when he was young.” The paramedic put the needle through the outside of his wound, starting to stitch it close. Alfred drew in a sharp and shaky breath.

“That's actually- cute.”

“It is, isn't it. He was a sweet kid, Had an eagerness for learning and tinkering.”

“Ah- so that's what he does in this big old tower.” Tying up the wound. Putting down the suture scissors and the dirty tissues in a medical tray to the side. “You're really lucky the person who shot you had only a hand held. If it was a shotgun you’d no longer have a knee. Just a giant hole where one should be-”

“Mr Pennyworth.” Called out Gordon, interrupting them.

Gordon walked into the room, scratching his chin, thinking carefully how to approach the situation. His train of thought was interrupted by Alfred’s polite correction.

“Detective. Please- just Alfred.”

Gordon let out a breathy laugh, making his way over to the two. “So, Alfred- Where is the man of the house?” Looking around the room. Hoping to pick up any more clues missed.

Bruce Wayne had a good staff, the place was immaculate. That or just a really good butler.

“Are you referring to Bruce Wayne? I assume he is at the after party of the Gotham’s Flood Charity Auction.” The paramedic pulled out a large square bandage, peeling back the paper on the sticky side to place it over the stitched wound on Alfred’s knee.

“Actually- a bunch of my men are there right now. Bruce Wayne is nowhere to be seen as well as the donation he handsomely offered to auction off.”

Alfred hesitated. Bruce was either actually missing or was running around Gotham as Batman. It was always hard to keep up with him when he was obsessing over something especially if it involved Batman or a case. It consumed him body and soul, became his waking thought while everything else was left as an afterthought even his health and hygiene. If his parents could see him now- Alfred knew it would break Martha’s heart to see her child tourture himself like this.

“I recall making strict requests to not have that auctioned off but to just showcase Martha Wayne’s and Thomas Wayne’s support in spirit.” The image of the man with the suitcase came into his mind, bashing against the man by the nickname Sausage's head several times. Felt like forever ago.

“A cute sentiment. That's besides the point. Bruce Wayne and the donation from Wayne Enterprises is nowhere to be seen and I was hoping to know if you had any clue on where they both are?”

“I reported earlier to the operator and to your other detective that I saw the suitcase and the guard it was attached to being taken away by the two who were trespassing. They also left a mess.” Indicating his knee. The paramedic laughed. “And I came up to hopefully find Bruce. I just assumed he was sidetracked and is just wandering around a party buzzing from the alcohol.”

“You don’t sound too worried that your boss is possibly missing Mr Pennyworth. Some people would be jumping to place a missing persons report.” Gordon pushed, hoping Alfred would let something slip.

“It hasn't been 24 hours. I’m more concerned with the break in and the robbery of the suitcase containing Wayne’s family heirloom.”

“It is a common belief that you have to wait 24 hours before reporting but it’s not true, you can make a report to the police as soon as you think a person is missing.”

“Detective. The suitcase is a high priority and I assure you. Bruce Wayne will show up.” Alfred was blunt.

“Pennyw- Alfred. We have CCTV footage of Bruce being held at gunpoint at the party, escorted out and then abducted. From the Auction held here- at the Wayne Tower.” Sounded completely made up but not really out of the realm of impossible to Alfred. He clasped his hands together on his lap and then pushed a polite smile. He had nothing to worry about Bruce will be fine… He hoped.

Gordon opened his mouth to continue but decided against it. He really didn't have much to go on apart from evidence found in a storage cupboard near the elevator, the footage that security handed over to the GCPD of Bruce’s abduction, the missing suitcase and the guard and then the car that sped out of the scene. They were just lucky enough to get a number plate but it was a stolen number plate swapped over onto the car. It was pretty darn smart to be honest.

Alfred was the first to speak while the paramedic was packing away their equipment. “Then… I’ll trust you’d find Mr Wayne, bring him and the suitcase home safely.” He couldn't fight anymore for Bruce’s defense. He knew he could hold his own especially if he was with the two he had encountered earlier Bruce would be fine.

Gordon gave a subtle nod before reaching over with something in his hand. “If you have anything else, call me.” Gordon handed out a card, subtle off white colouring with a watermark, in the centre it read: J. Gordon. Alfred laughed to himself, not at all expecting this man to have this kind of business card.

Without another word, Gordon walked out of the room, leaving Alfred staring at the card. Letting out a sigh. Talking to Bruce about this will be like pulling teeth.

Growing anxious with the GCPD looking for Bruce, who was now presumed missing. Wherever Bruce was, Alfred hoped he’d return soon or better yet be okay. The toll of the Riddler did Bruce in so badly it took him weeks to recover and he was still dealing with a lot of it emotionally all alone.

Batman was consuming Bruce even in the aftermath of chaos.

“Hey- They’ll find him.” The paramedic tried to reassure Alfred. Picking up their equipment, giving Alfred a comforting smile they left. Alfred sat there alone staring at the business card.

#The Batman #Robert Pattinson #Battinson #batman x reader #Battinson x reader #fanfiction #battinson x reader #bruce wayne x reader #DC #70's vibes

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