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captains-simp · 3 years

Note

hiii can you please do a 1) Angst with Nat where shes the one saying 'please dont go' because she pushed u away out of fear of either unreciprocated feelings or fear of her feelings for u?? and then there's a happy ending???

"Please don't go."

Warnings: oral, fingering, thigh grinding, hints at overstimulation, rejection, violence and some majorrrr angst

6.8k words

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

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Natasha Romanoff was the thing of many people's nightmares. Cunning, stealthy, ruthless. Those were just a few of the things that came to mind when describing Natasha in the field. It was what had earned her the Black Widow name, and rightfully so.

But behind that front was someone very different. It took a long time to find that person. It was hard to gain the trust of an assassin, much less the friendship. You had gotten there eventually, what you found was entirely worth every second of the wait.

Natasha had been your closest friend for as long as you could remember. You trusted her above everyone else and knew the feeling was mutual. A lot of things were with you two.

You came to the same conclusions in missions, spare of the moment and planned. You knew the best ways to comfort one another. You could even read each other like your favourite book when it was impossible for others.

It seemed almost predictable that your feelings for Natasha had been growing for a long time.

She was fiercely protective of the ones she loved. The relationships she developed were ones she held close to her heart and would do anything for. She never said it because she didn't have to.

While not being one for comforting words, Natasha would appear at your side in an instant if she thought you had been hurt in a mission or even training. Everything from checking in on you genuinely from time to time to let you rant about whatever was going on in your head to memorising your order from every kind of take out place made you feel cared for more than she could ever understand.

Maybe that was why you had fallen inlove with her.

"You are single handedly the best partner I have ever had." Natasha sighed as she laid back on her bed with her eyes trained on you. Oh how you wished she meant that in a different context.

"Likewise." You grinned as you poured some more wine into your glass and took a tentative sip.

"You usually work on a team." Natasha pointed out. "You haven't had your fair share of God awful partners yet."

"I can still recognise a good partner." You reminded and glanced down at the glass resting on your crossed legs.

Saying Natasha was good was the understatement of the year. No matter what she seemed to think the redhead was the reason for your success on the mission. All you had done was follow her instructions and reenact everything you had trained.

"Still, that was one of the best missions I've ever been on."

"You make it sound like you enjoyed it." You teased.

"I love my job." Natasha smirked as she took her glass from the bedside table and swirled the liquid around.

"I bet you do, must be easy when you're one of the best." You complimented more easily with the help of the alcohol.

"I like a challenge every now and then." She said as she sat up and tucked her legs under her. She downed the contents of her glass in a second and went to pour some more. Your eyes widened slightly but you accepted when she held the bottle out for you and poured a little more than you would have, finishing the bottle.

"You can challenge yourself in safer ways you know." Even if Natasha was one of the most feared agents on the planet she was still human. You worried about her a lot and tried to voice your opinions on mission files to ensure she did things the safest ways. She was always more set on doing things the most efficient way.

"Like what?" She enquired.

"I don't know, get a hobby." You laughed, hardly joking. A hobby was something everyone on the team needed, there was hardly ever the time.

"A hobby." Nat repeated, playing around with the thought as she said it. "I don't think I have time for that." You hummed understandably. "Do you want one?" She asked as she watched you.

"I barely have time for socialising." You scoffed and sipped on the alcohol.

"You live with us." The redhead pointed out, clearly missing your point.

"For work. When was the last time we had a movie night?" You asked. Natasha thought back to try and pinpoint a date but you kept going. "All of the parties are basically part of the job. Our schedules are all off so we rarely eat dinner together. We never really hang out anymore." You reflected with a pang of sadness.

"We're hanging out now." Natasha pointed out.

"We are." You couldn't help the smile that crept onto your face.

"So let's make the most of it." She said as she reached under her bed to retrieve another bottle. You barely questioned why it was there.

She poured more of the drink into each of your glasses and you clinched them together. You took a sip of yours and Natasha watched you as she raised the glass to her lips then paused for a second.

Her eyes trailed to your lips as you licked them to wipe away the traces of the drink. Your cheeks heated up under her far from subtle gaze and a lazy smirk played across Natasha's lips in her signature way.

It wasn't uncommon for Nat to flirt and tease you, she did it with everyone after all, but that night it seemed like a genuine interest, you just didn't want to fool yourself into thinking that.

You stretched your legs out infront of you simply to do something with yourself as Natasha continued to watch you mirror her position. You were startled when you felt on of her hands grip your calf and pull you up the bed towards her.

She silently took your glass from your hands and placed her glass down on the table with yours.

"What are you doing?" You asked with a smile as you tried to ignore your rapidly beating heart from having her hand on your calf and having the strength to pull you with the one hand just a second ago.

"Making the most of our time together." Natasha said simply as her hand dropped back down to your leg. Her fingers lightly ghosted up your calf again as a small smirk continued to stay on her lips.

You gulped, your mouth suddenly feeling very dry as you watched Natasha's slender fingers wander in a seemingly innocent way.

As if your dumbfounded and blank expression wasn't enough for her, Natasha suddenly sat up more and slowly lifted her leg over yours as she gave you some of the most intense eye contact you had ever experienced and straddled your lap.

You searched her face for anything and all you got was a mischievous smirk; nothing past that, no implication as to what was really happening.

"Cat got your tongue?" She teased as she ran her hands down your bare arms making you visibly shiver.

"I..." You whispered, having no idea what to say in response. Natasha lowered her head to the side of your neck and breathed lightly against the exposed skin, curtsey of the loose bun she had done for you.

"Maybe I should try steal it back." Her lips grazed your sensitive skin as she spoke. All sense escaped you when her lips pressed ever so lightly against your neck.

Her hands moved to your waist to hold you as she planted soft kisses along your neck that started to become less light. Her teeth nipped at your skin making you yelp slightly in surprise. Natasha grinned against you as her hands moved round to your stomach and pushed you down flat on your back on the mattress.

Seeing her straddling your stomach above you with an illegally attractive smirk made something undeniable go straight to your core. You clenched your thighs together subconsciously, not realising how telling the gesture was to Natasha.

She slowly leant down and hovered her face inches above yours as her hands trailed up to your own and pinned them above your head. Your breath was shaky and you just knew your friend could tell from your close proximity.

A million things buzzed around your head. Until you caught sight of an especially bright spec of green in Natasha's eyes and found yourself haulting all your questions. That was when you pushed all of your worries and questions to the side to focus on what was infront of you. Or rather who was ontop of you.

You closed your eyes and lifted your head, finally reciprocating in the way you had wanted to a while. Her lips met yours in an instant and felt even softer against your own than you had ever imagined. Your lips moved in perfect sync that you found yourself getting lost in as well as the taste of Natasha that you thought might stay with you forever.

You gasped and parted your lips when she pinched your inner thigh unexpectedly and was quietened when Natasha's tongue met yours. She sucked on it for a brief moment and grinned into you when she felt you moan.

Her lips left yours and started to kiss across your jaw before you could protest then dipped down to your neck. You tilted your head back to give her further access as you held onto her back and tried to steady your breathing.

While one hand held your waist the other stroked along your bare thigh under your dress. You closed your eyes as you struggled to competly focus on any one of the movements. You especially failed when Nat placed one of her muscular thighs between yours, forcing them apart and pressing down on a sensitive area.

You gasped as you felt her apply pressure to your aching clit with her thigh and bucked your hips against her. She chuckled lowly into your ear and held down your thigh and waist with strength that only feuled your growing arousal.

"Tasha." You moaned when the redhead bit down on your neck. Simultaneously, her hand wandered further up your thigh to explore the wanton part between your legs. She sighed deeply into your neck when her fingers brushed against wet spot on your panties.

You whined lowly when she withdrew her fingers only to flip you onto your front and straddle your back. Her slim fingers held the zip on the back of your dress dress swiftly pulled it down along with the rest of your dress.

Her hands ran along your bare back and she unfastened your bra with ease, throwing it somewhere neither of you cared about. She brought her hands back to you and caressed the exposed skin on your sides and leant down flat against you as her hands cupped your breasts. She kissed your shoulder blades as she started to pinch your strained buds. As much as you enjoyed the way she handled you, you needed attention lower down and was becoming impatient, resorting to rocking yourself against the bed in search of something.

"You're a needy thing, aren't you?" She husked, noticing your actions in an instant.

You whimpered into the bed and was suddenly moved onto your back again and stared up at the redheaded beauty who was taking in the sight of your bare breasts.

"You've got me all worked up too, baby." She said as she pulled her own dress down and flung it across the room. Unlike you, she wasn't wearing a bra under her dress giving you the sight of her perfect set. Your own eyes lowered and your breath hitched at the sight of her bare pussy. For a moment you questioned if she had it all planned, but she was straddling your face before you could think about it anymore.

She certainly wasn't lying when she said she was worked up, she was soaked.

With a burst of confidence, you grabbed the back of her thighs and lowered herself onto your tongue that swiped through her folds. You hummed at the initial taste that enveloped your senses and sucked momentarily on her throbbing clit.

"Fuck." Natasha moaned as she pulled on some loose strands of your hair. You pushed your tongue into her awaiting cunt as far as you could go and retracted it to repeat the motion, all while your best friend grinded down on your face.

"Such a good mouth." She praised as you focused your tongue on her soaking channel.

You brought one of your hands up and rubbed Natasha's clit with your thumb as your tongue started to increase it's pace. The redhead's inner walls started to clamp down on your muscle and you took this with a new vigor.

It didn't take long for her thighs to tighten around your head and for Natasha to ride out her orgasm in desperation as you eagerly lapped up all of her cum until she got off you.

"Suck." She instructed only slightly breathlessly as she held her fingers infront of your mouth. You opened in an instant and licked up the length of her fingers before taking them in your mouth as you kept your eyes trained on Natasha.

"Good girl." She praised with a smirk when she withdrew her fingers. She straddled one of your thighs as her fingers danced down to where you needed them the most.

Her fingers slipped inside your pussy with ease. They slowly edged further until they curled against your sweet spot that made your head drop back against the bed. Natasha repeated the come here motion everytime her fingers returned but her pace remained slow and teasing.

You whined in protest but was shushed by the redhead when she pressed herself into your thigh. You gasped as you felt her slick along your thigh and the small rotations of her hips to grind herself against you.

As the pace of her hips increased so did her fingers that were returning to you at twice the pace. You moaned together as everytime Natasha's fingers hit your special spot she angled herself to brush her clit up against your muscle.

The Russian started to dig herself deeper against you and her movements became much more frantic. Her fingers became rougher and faster, never failing to make your head spin when she angled them perfectly.

"Fuck, Nat!" You moaned as your bucked your hips up against her hand.

Her movements became less coordinated as she chased her release and consequently managed to extend her fingers deeper within you making your walls clamp down harshly.

"You feel so good against my pussy." Nat moaned until she came undone on your thigh soon followed by you.

She spread her arousal across your thigh as she rode out her orgasm and kept her fingers deep inside you making you squirm under her.

Her eyes were still glazed over when she looked back down at you and saw you unsuccessfully trying to move away. An evil glint appeared in her eyes as a smirk played on her lips and she leaned down to hover over you again.

"Oh, malysh, we are no where near done."

You woke up to a stream of sunlight flowing into the bedroom and onto the bed. You instinctively went to shield your eyes and turn over but when you did you noticed the body laying peacefully next to you.

You let your eyes adjust and brain start to kick in until you saw the mess of red hair on the pillow next to you. You smiled widely when the memories of the night before began to come back to you.

You were both laying naked in bed with the duvet barely covering you. Natasha had her back to you so you reached out and gently stroked a finger across her shoulder blades. Her shoulders tensed slightly as she gradually woke up and you were reminded of how much you pushed your bodies to the limit. You were feeling kind of sore too.

"Good morning." You greetee with a tired continuous smile and scooched over closer to her only for her to sit up without looking at you.

"Morning." She replied stiffly. You frowned a little in confusion and glanced over at her alarm clock to see how late it is and go to get up too. You had a team meeting that morning that you definetly couldn't miss.

You didn't really know what to say to her when you were finding your clothes. She didn't say anything either but the silence didn't feel right. Not awkward, just not right.

You kept glancing over at her but she never faced you when she was quickly getting changed into clean clothes.

You looked over at the clock again nervously. Half an hour until the meeting. Need to have a shower, clean clothes, breakfast? No, no time. Talk to Natasha?

You really had no clue what to say to the redhead you had spent the night in and it definelty didn't help that your brain hadn't fully kicked in yet.

"So I'll...see you later then?" Smooth, y/n.

"Yeah." Nat said back as she searched for something in her drawers. You nodded and awkwardly pointed to the door and practically ran towards it. The moment you were on the other side of the door you smacked yourself on forehead and started to think about what to say to your best friend.

Throughout the whole of the team meeting Natasha didn't look at you once. Even in the most important meetings she would shoot you a smile every so often or kick you lightly if she knew you weren't paying attention. But she never even acknowledged you in that one.

Granted, the mission brief was one of the most important ones the team had ever had while you had been there. It wasn't for a couple of weeks because an operation like that one required a lot of planning, preparing and paperwork to fill out before it had even started.

It was the single biggest Hydra base there was. It was the heart of all Hydra operations and that meant there was a lot to do. All Hydra agents needed to be captured or killed, all data and information they had needed to be taken and the place needed to be destroyed.

The meeting dragged on for a long time and eventually you were all told to leave and continue as normal until the mission. You planned to walk out with Natasha but she had disappeared before you got the chance.

It was like that for the rest of the day. You never saw your friend and everytime you asked someone where she was she was never where they said. It felt like you were going on a wild goose chase for her between training and eating.

Eventually though, you finally found her in the kitchen late in the evening making herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She saw you approaching and tensed up without you noticing as you nervously approached, practising what had decided to say to her over in your head.

"Hey." You smiled, eyes trailing to the snack she had prepared as you remembered the time you lectured her on doing it wrong and corrected her. She had insisted you couldn't make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich wrong, but always did it your way after that.

"Hi." She said as she cut the sandwich in half and went to make a swift leave.

"I've been looking for you all day." You half laughed as you moved to stand infront of her.

"I've been busy." She replied and went to move around you.

"Yeah." You laughed nervously again as you followed her.

You had never really been one to shoot your shot or make the first move. It was awkward and uncomfortable even if you ended up lucky. You had never wanted to risk screwing everything up.

You could manage the bottled up feelings most of the time. You always chose that over some form of confrontation. Those were just small, passing crushes. Natasha Romanoff was far from that. And given everything that had happened the night before, you were sure you had a chance - more than a chance.

"So last night was great. More than great actually." You corrected as you managed to keep up with her fast strides.

"I'n glad you enjoyed it." She said simply.

"Did...did you?"

"Yes."

"Cool, so um I was thinking- well I was wondering if you would want to go out sometime." You started as you fiddled with your fingers. "I know you're busy so it doesn't have to be right away- or at all of course! Totally up to you, we could just get a drink or a meal." You rambled, going completly off script. You could feel your heart beating rapidly in your chest as you caught sight of Natasha's room. She stayed silent for a while and you started to suspect you should have kept your mouth shut.

"Look, y/n." Oh God. "Last night wasn't...we were drunk." She started.

"No we weren't." You instantly said and winced at your frantic reply. "I mean we were tipsy at the very most." You corrected and hoped it overruled your desperate comment prior.

"Right, but it wasn't anything serious." Oh fuck. "We were just messing around and celebrating." She said slowly as she reached her door and grabbed the handle, clearly wanting to leave the awkward convosation.

"Oh...yeah of course. I knew that." You lied. "I just thought...yeah never mind- sorry." You rambled again and scratched the back of your neck.

"It's alright." She said looking at her door longingly. "See you tomorrow, y/n." She finally said.

"Yeah, goodnight, Nat." You said back and heard the door shut as soon as you turned around.

Fuck!

Natasha was a generally very mature person. That meant she could put aside personal differences for her job and move past disagreements and resolve tension for the sake of the friendships she developed and treasured. It seemed that didn't apply to you.

You understood that the redhead would want space for a few days. Time was the best thing you could give to allow yourself to pick up the pieces of your heart to reassemble eventually and for Natasha move past what you said.

A week past and Natasha still avoided you like the plague.

That drastic change was one you had never prepared yourself to adjust to. You had been so confident that Natasha felt the same way, it was the one time you didn't plan for rejection. That made it even harder. One moment you and Natasha were practically joint at the hip and the next you were rarely in the same room.

Everytime she went into a room and saw you there she made some excuse about forgetting something and didn't return. If it was you who arrived in a room she was already in she would mutter something about being busy and having things to do.

That meant Nat started doing things like training in the evenings or early night just to avoid you. It was a miracle if she ate a meal with the others too. Her whole schedule changed drastically.

The others noticed pretty quickly. All of it. Natasha's strange routine was just as clear as her separation from you. No one really wanted to say anything, thinking that any issues you and Natasha had could be solved by yourselves. But with the mission fast approaching and there being no signs of things returning to normal, Steve decided to talk to you.

You knew it was Steve at your door by the softness of his knock. Everyone on the team could determine who was outside their door by their knock, it didn't seem possible but it was your equivalent of knowing which family member was coming up the stairs.

"Come in, Steve." You called as you flicked through Netflix. It was late in the evening and you were trying to unwind before bed but you were still haunted by the memories of screwing up your friendship with Natasha.

"You alright?" He asked as he closed the door and joined you on the bed that sunk a little under his weight.

"Never better." You said sarcastically before smiling a little at him, you knew he meant well.

"What's going on with you and Nat?" He asked. You paused you mindless scrolling through the TV as you felt the pain in your chest return.

"I messed it up, Steve. I messed it all up." You admitted as you started to shake.

"Hey." He comforted as he saw tears form in your eyes. He put his arms around you and let you lean into him and rest you head on his shoulder.

"I don't know how to fix it." You babbled.

"Fix what?"

"Us. I think she hates me."

"Nat could never hate you." He assured making you cry a little harder.

"She won't go near me." You argued

"What happened?" He asked again patiently.

"She knows. She knows I like her." Steve chuckled softly and continued to hold you.

"Y/n we all know. It doesn't take a spy to work it out." You sniffed with a smile and wiped the tears away as you leant away from him to look at the blonde.

"I asked her out." You said.

"That was a brave thing to do." He defended despite clearly knowing how it turned out for you. You decided to leave out the reason you worked up the balls to do it.

"I don't think she thinks so." Steve sighed as he looked at the TV in consideration.

"Maybe, but she will eventually."

"How long will that be?"

"It's hard to say with Nat, but eventually. You could try talk to her again?" He suggested.

"Have you been missing how she avoids me like I'm her worst nightmare." You deadpanned.

"You let her know you care about her a lot, you're not far off." You thought for a moment about how right Steve was. Nat never did like intimacy, but she never had a problem with it if it was you. "And she may be a spy by we have a security room." He pointed out and you smiled again.

"Okay." You agreed. "Tomorrow." You decided, knowing there was a lot higher chance of you actually going through with it if you had already told Steve you would.

"Okay." He smiled back and stood up from the bed and went to leave.

"Have you talked to her?" You suddenly asked.

"Seems like she's avoiding everyone."

You surprised even yourself when you found yourself in the security room the next day in the late evening. It didn't take you long to flick through all the cameras and spot Natasha training with the holograms.

You made your way down to her quickly, trying to figure out at least the outline of what you could say to her. Nothing really came to mind when you tried to piece it together.

When you arrived she was focused on throwing an onslaught of punches at a punching bag that honestly looked like it was on the verge of being torn in half. It made you strongly consider backing out when you saw her like that. You just hoped that state of mind wouldn't come across in your convosation.

"Hey." You croaked making the redhead spin around with her guard still up. "Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you." You assured as you took a tentative step towards her.

"You didn't scare me." She defied, annoyance present in her voice.

"I guess if you can be pranked by Clint that many times and not be scared nothing will scare you." You joked in a futile attempt to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

The redhead stayed silent as she adjusted the straps on her gloves. You thought she would pack up her things and leave but she went back to the punching bag and blanked you.

"Are you gonna ignore me forever?" You sighed. She paused her punches for a second before turning to look at you for the first time in over a week.

"I'm not ignoring you."

"We haven't talked in a while." You said, choosing not to argue over the fact that yes she definetly had been ignoring you.

"I've been busy." Her expression was stoic as she looked at you and it made you uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry for making things weird. But we can move past it. I can so you definitely should. Just because you don't want to date me doesn't mean you get to treat me like this, it's not fair on me and its not fair on the team." You breathed deeply when you finished and averted your eyes as you grew more uncomfortable from the confrontation.

"That's just the thing, y/n." Natasha said as she started to take her gloves off. "You're not going to move past it. I know you, and I know you're not going to be over it in a week." You frowned at her blunt response and took a few more steps towards her.

"Get over yourself, Nat." You sighed in frustration. "It's not like I declared that I was inlove with you. And don't forget that you came onto me that night."

"Exactly, y/n. It was one fucking night. It didn't mean anything but you decided to make a big deal out of it." You struggled to push aside the ache that came from her words and the bitter way she delivered them.

"You're never intimate with anyone. So yes when you fucked me and let me fuck you I thought there might be something more to it. It's not a crime to want something more."

Nat's jaw clenched at your words. You had brought in something personal about her and she was inevitably about to put up her walls in the most hurtful way she could. You knew that, but it didn't help you prepare.

"Why can't you accept that you were just a good fuck?" She spat as she glared at you. "Definitely one that I regret." You gulped as you took in the harsh reality of her words.

"Regret?" You whispered.

"Yes, y/n. I regret it. It was a mistake, every fucking bit of it." A mistake?

You didn't say anything in response to that. You were sure that even if you could think of something it would just come out as a squeak. Nat continued to glare at you in a way you couldn't hold. You glanced down at the floor, then the walls, then the punching pad and nodded quickly. You turned around and wandered aimlessly out the room as tears fell silently down your cheeks.

Needless to say things didn't get any better after that encounter. The only difference was that you were mutually avoiding each other. It hurt. A lot. You never thought you would avoid Natasha like you were. You never thought she would break your heart either.

The day of the mission didn't change anything. You and Natasha were sat as far away from each other as possible.

Only the anxiety over the mission was able to overpower the tension in the plane.

Steve had gone over the brief once more in full detail on the plane and you replayed all the information in your head until you landed. Once the quinjet had engaged its cloaking tech it landed in an open area in the surrounding forest.

You all left the quinjet in a concentrated silence as you surveyed your surroundings. It didn't take long to find the first patrolling agents in the forest that were swiftly taken out as to not alert anyone else.

The whole team was scattered across the forest from four planes in a circular layout that advanced towards the Hydra base. Even some of the best S.H.I.E.L.D agents had been brought in to assist. Steve was the first to infiltrate the base and in the least subtle way. You could hear the glass smashing and loud grunts in your coms that made you wish, not for the first time, that you could adjust the volume on those things.

You knew your route. You had it memorized clearly in your head and you also knew that some of it overlapped with Natasha's. You spotted her in your peripheral as you turned a corner to shoot at two charging agents. You leant back against the wall to reload and glanced to your left to see Natasha advancing. Stay focused. You reminded yourself.

You took a quick glance behind the corner again before looking back at Natasha who had her gun raised at you with a flightly fearing expression. Your eyes widened and you went to shout at her to stop messing around but she had already fired the gun. You heard a loud grunt and a body collapse to the floor tight behind you. You swivelled around to see a Hydra agent laying in a pool of his own blood with a handgun next to him.

"Thanks." You breathed out and started around the corner. Natasha had to take another left to the supposed data room where she could collect as much as much as could. You had to keep going but felt the sudden urge to ensure that she was safe. You looked over your shoulder as she opened the door and fired two shots before swiftly entering the room with her gun still raised.

You listened out for any more shots and heard none. She's fine. She knows what she's doing. You assured yourself as you went on.

Half an hour later the building had been cleared of all Hydra agents. Many had been captured and were had many hours of interrogation ahead of them while others hadn't been so lucky. It always weighed on you for a while when you killed as many people as you did on that mission. It was hard but it was necessary. It was the job.

The price of freedom is high. You reminded yourself. The price of freedom is high. The price of freedom is h- "Agent Romanoff is down."

"What?!" You spun around to face the building to see the room Natasha was in. It was in the center of the left side because of course you remembered exactly where she was meant to be.

You instinctively started sprinting back to the building when there was a sudden bright orange and yellow light followed by a deafening boom from the exact room Natasha was meant to be in. The explosion was quick but you got a chance to get an estimate of the scale of it and if Natasha was still in there...oh God.

"Has anyone got eyes on Romanoff?!" You demanded as you stared up at the building, finding yourself rooted to the spot.

"I got her." Steve coughed painfully. "I need a medic." He announced as he ran through the building and out the nearest exit with Natasha unconscious in his arms.

Everything else faded into the background when you saw her. The building still needed to be destroyed but you couldn't care less about the mission.

You stayed at Steve's side as he carried the readhead to the plane and laid her down gently on the bench. A medic was already there waiting and was checking Nat's vitals in an instant.

You dropped down to your knees next to her and watched her face for any signs of consciousness. When you couldn't find any you gently took ahold of her hand and laced your fingers together. You took a great deal of comfort in how warm they were and how warm you were determined for them to remain. You would kill Nat if she died on you.

Yes, she had hurt you. But you were pretty sure you were inlove with her.

You didn't let go of Natasha's hand for a long time. You held onto it tightly throughout the entirety of the flight home. You kept your fingers laced together when she was being taken to the medical wing. You held her hand for a while when they had finally settled her into a bed. She looked so peaceful in that state, you hoped it felt like that for her. She was still so beautiful too, even when she had dirt and smoke all over her before you had cleaned it all off.

You only let go when Steve practically dragged you out of the room to get some proper sleep in your bed.

You had been assured by multiple people that Natasha would be fine.

She had already been unconcious when Steve found her and was able to get her out the room before the bomb went off. It still had an impact and threw them both against a wall, but they were okay. She was okay.

You visited the redhead often but never stayed for long. As much as you wanted to, you knew she wouldn't want you there when she woke up. She had made it clear before that you had lost what you had with her, you were sure the mission hadn't changed that.

One day when you approached her room you peered around the door and saw that she was already sat up and looking around. She spotted you at the door instantly.

"Sorry." You apologised and went make a swift leave but stopped in your tracks when she spoke.

"Please don't go." She called out. You slowly turned around to face her and saw a pleading look across her face that you had never seen in her before.

You hesitated for a moment until you timidly made your way to the chair next to her bed. She watched you do so silently and anxiously, like she expected you to run out any second. You honestly thought about it, thinking another lecture was coming.

"You've been out a few days." You told her without meeting her eyes. "I was worried." You mentally scolded yourself for saying it as soon as you did, thinking that wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"I'm sorry." She surprised you by saying.

"It's not your fault, you didn't throw the bomb at yourself." You smiled nervously.

"Not about that." Nat said quietly. "About everything else. I treated you so badly." The regret couldn't have been more clear in her voice. "I was just scared- and that's not an excuse! It's just the truth." She explained nervously. You listened intently as you stared at her duvet.

"I lied when I said it was a mistake. I lied when I said I regretted it. I lied when I said it didn't mean anything. It meant everything to me, y/n." She explained wholeheartedly as tears started to form in her eyes.

For a moment you couldn't quite comprehend what you're seeing or hearing. Natasha was letting down her walls competly. She was being vulnerable to you.

"I care about you so much. More than I've ever let myself care about anyone. I pushed it aside and tried to ignore it for the longest time but that night I caved and I...I don't know I wasn't thinking about anything other than how much I wanted to show you I cared for you. And when I thought I finally figured out a way to do it I couldn't face it after.

"You never did anything wrong, y/n. It was all me. I couldn't face my feelings but I can't stand not being with you. Is there..." She gulped as her hands trembled notably. "Is there any possibility of a second chance?" She whispered almost fearfully. You finally looked up at her and saw the tears running down her cheeks as she gazed at you like you were the only thing of any importance in the world.

You took her shaking hand in both of yours to steady it and yourself as you spoke. "No more running off?" You asked.

"No more running off." She confirmed.

"No more lying to me?"

"No more lying."

"No more being a pussy." You half joked.

"Definelty no more being a pussy." She laughed weakly.

"Okay then. Natasha, would you like to go on a date with me?" You asked with a smile you couldn't hold back.

"It would be my pleasure, y/n." You grinned and leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on her lips as you kept ahold of her hands. She smiled against you and when you moved back you saw the glint of happiness in her eyes.

Sure, you had done things in the completly wrong order. And yes, the journey to get there had been far from easy. But you swore that day that you would make sure everything after it was done perfectly.

It was a few weeks later on the night you shared your first 'I love you' that she confessed she had sworn the same thing. And it worked.

#natasha romanoff imagines #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff #black widow imagine #black widow #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff angst

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myherowritings · 4 years

Text

Maybe It’s Fate

— After discovering the mememate you fell in love with was your ex-boyfriend who broke your heart, you find yourself alone in a bar with a dead phone in a poor attempt to cope. The person who helps you at 3 a.m. is the last person you want to see.

pairing: shinsou hitoshi x f!reader word count: 10,531 genre: modern au, social media au

a/n: hihi welcome to part 25 of toya ! ;) the smau is rated 17+ so keep that in mind because it applies to this part too. it’s a bit thicc so i hope it’s able to keep your attention! skksffsd plspls chat with me and let me know what u think once u read! i’m looking forward to the convos ^-^ [edit: THIS IS NOT THE FINAL PART LOLOL]

Of all the dumb decisions you’ve made in your life, this by far had to be the dumbest of them all.

You were angry and hurt and wanted nothing more than to drown your feelings with overplayed EDM music and cheap booze that reminded you too much of the trash college parties you used to frequent. And while going out to get drunk was no where near your stupidest decision, going out alone with the full intention of returning home with someone else was.

“Is everything okay?” you heard an unfamiliar voice beside you call.

Wishing you had brought more than an empty can of pepper spray, you cautiously turned to face him. You wanted to call a cab or take the train home, but you knew walking alone in the streets in your current condition might just be more stupid than staying at the club. Besides, your phone died right after you sent Kaminari your location.

In other words-- You were truly fucked.

Not that you would let anyone know that, of course.

“Everything’s just fine,” you replied, trying to sound polite but disinterested. “Thanks.”

He kept his distance but sat down at the barstool next to you. “Are you sure? You’re a pretty lady alone at the bar and you’re staring at your drink like it just insulted your favorite grandmother.”

Immediately, the tears of stress and frustration flooded your eyes but you kept them from falling. Your bottom lip quivered and you blamed all the alcohol in your system for your seemingly uncontrollable emotions.

“Am I that transparent?” You sniffled, downing the rest of your drink as you turned towards him.

“Ah-- Wait!” he cried with wide eyes, waving his hands in front of him as you chugged what was in your glass. “Are you sure you should keep drinking? Where are your friends?”

You studied him curiously. He seemed nice and trustworthy, but you couldn’t help but be skeptical of his intentions.

“They’re...around,” you answered, unwilling to admit you were here alone to a random stranger. “And I’m okay! Just here hating men, but what’s new?”

He nodded solemnly. “Understandable. Men suck. Carry on.”

That earned a grin from you.

As the last gulp of vodka settled in your stomach and made its way to your head, you instinctively checked your phone in your pocket only to find it still dead.

Damn. And here you were hoping it would’ve miraculously charged through sheer willpower.

Drumming your fingertips against the empty glass, you let your gaze roam around the perimeter of the nightclub, blinking furiously in confusion when you thought you had spotted a head of all-too-familiar purple hair near the entrance.

“What the…” you trailed off. You could have sworn you just saw Shinsou, but the next second you opened your eyes, he was gone.

Great, you thought to yourself miserably. First he snuck his way into your heart and now you were imagining his presence too?

“You’re really had too much to drink, haven’t you, Y/N?” you chided yourself, head spinning as you instantly regretted the last few gulps.

The guy next to you glanced over in concern, drinking a glass of what you assumed to be respect women juice.

“Can I order you some water?” he fretted. “Or maybe a cab?”

You shook your head to decline but stopped abruptly when your temples started to throb at the sudden motion.

“S’okay,” you slurred. “I just thought I saw--”

“Y/N!”

You froze in your seat.

That voice… It was faint and almost like it wasn’t real, but you knew that voice.

There was no way.

“Good grief, I’m losing it now, huh?” you asked your bar acquaintance with furrowed brows.

He shrugged, not knowing how to reply.

“Y/N, thank god,” the voice said frantically, sounding closer this time. “You’re safe!”

Ever so slowly, you turned around in your seat, eyes squeezed shut.

Even hearing his voice amidst the blaring of music was enough to make your heart twist in pain. It was the same deep timbre you remembered from high school and you haven’t heard it since then. You hated just how much you had missed the familiar sound. It was like a hug of comfort telling you everything was okay and a stab in the gut all at once.

“Y/N,” he said again, almost a whisper this time.

You finally found the courage to open your eyes, but refused to meet his gaze. Instead, you developed a deep interest in the laces of his shoes, reluctant to look up.

“Shinsou…” The name left a bitter taste on your tongue and you wished you had another drink to wash it down with. Your voice hardened. “What are you doing here?”

He winced at your harsh tone but stood unrelenting. “Your friends are worried sick about you. Kaminari was so concerned he even messaged me-- Something I imagine he never wanted to do.”

Your lower lip jutted out in guilt as your stare stayed set on the intricacies of the tiled flooring.

“Why have you not checked your phone?” asked Shinsou in exasperation. “Kaminari was trying to tell you I was going to pick you up.”

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. “My phone died after I sent Denki my location.”

“Died? Did you not charge it before you left? Y/N how could you be so irresponsible--!”

“Is everything okay here?” your unnamed acquaintance said from his seat on the bar. He glanced carefully between you and Hitoshi.

You nodded, sparing him a wry smile. “I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

Shinsou bit the inside of his cheek as he eyed the stranger who sat next to you. “Who’s this?”

“None of your damn business.”

Annoyed by Shinsou’s chiding, you bristled when he frowned at you. He had no right to sound concerned or jealous-- No right to pretend he cared!

Not when he did what he did.

“I know I was being stupid and I’ll call my friends when I get home,” you said, not bothering to hide your irritation. “But you can’t just come here and talk to me like everything is normal! Why are you even here?”

Pushing yourself out of your chair, you stood up and finally looked Hitoshi in the eye, glaring at him. You wobbled on your own two feet and felt the goosebumps on your bare thighs and arms, briefly wishing you had brought a coat with you.

Great, another thing Toshi can call you irresponsible for, you thought crossly, a mixture of hurt and anger in your face as you stared up at him.

“Why are you here?” you repeated as you paced away from the bar--turning back only to give your bar friend a wave goodbye that he returned with a confused look. You headed for the exist of the nightclub as briskly as your legs could carry you in your uncomfortable heels. “How did you know where to find me?”

Shinsou trailed not too far behind you and you begrudgingly admitted to yourself that you felt a warmth near your back from his presence. “Kaminari told me you were alone at a nightclub and this one happened to be only ten minutes from my house.”

You pouted. Small fucking world. Fate must’ve been getting a kick out of this.

“Your friends were worried-- So was I.” You rolled your eyes, but he continued. “And since I was the closest to this place I offered to pick you up.”

Reaching the side doors, you stopped by the stone wall of the building and squinted at him. “You offered and they just let you?”

That did not sound like the friends you knew. You were expecting a full Shinsou beat down from Bakugou alone.

Hitoshi scratched the back of his neck and, in your tipsy stupor, you felt comforted by the familiar habit of his. You swallowed, balling your hands into fists to snap your mind out of it.

It shouldn’t matter how many memories of the past were flooding you-- You were mad at him for lying and you had every right to be.

“Maybe offered is too loose of a word,” he admitted after a moment’s silence, having the decency to appear sheepish. “But we were worried and I knew I could get to you in half the time any of your friends could.”

Sure, it was a logical reason. But that didn’t mean you had to like it. “I would rather have waited double the time if that meant I didn’t have to see you again.”

You stared Hitoshi straight in the eyes as you said that as you tried to ignore the trembling of your lower lip. He flinched at the words, looking hurt. But another part of him looked like he accepted it.

“I know I’m the last person you want to see right now--”

“Mhmm,” you hummed just to be petty.

“--but we had no way of knowing if you were safe. Especially when you stopped replying to anyone! This was the quickest way.”

Folding your arms across your chest you stubbornly held his gaze. “Well, I’m safe. So you can leave now.”

Shinsou pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Please. I know you hate me and you have every right to--”

“I don’t hate you,” you muttered under your breath. As much as you wish you did, you don’t think you could ever really hate him.

He blinked slowly and you could have sworn you saw a shimmer of hope in his expression. You tore your gaze away, studying the small fissures and cracks on the otherwise smooth pavement.

“Oh,” he breathed almost imperceptibly. “Thank you.”

You pretended not to hear him.

“Regardless of whether you hate me or not, I know you don’t want to see me--and I apologize for showing up so suddenly--but will you please let me bring you home safely?” Hitoshi pleaded. “Or to your friend’s house if you don’t want to be alone.”

With your lips squeezed shut, you rubbed the goosebumps off your upper arm. It was cold and your head was spinning and you had no clue what to say to him.

Silently, Shinsou took off his outer coat and gently draped it over your shoulders, fastening the top button near the collar so it wouldn’t fall off your frame. You looked at him in surprise, unshed tears stinging the back of your eyes as you recalled all the times he’d given you his jacket while you were dating.

There were more times that you cared to admit where you conveniently “forgot” your jacket or wore too little layers on a cold day just so Hitoshi could give you his and you’d be enveloped in his scent.

And that’s exactly what was happening now. Shinsou’s coat surrounded your body like a warm hug and your nose was filled with a scent exactly like the one you remembered from when you were dating. He smelled like a sweet sandalwood with a mixture of fresh jasmine. He smelled like a field of flowers you’d find after a long trek through a woodsy forest. He smelled like home.

But he wasn’t.

In actuality, you haven’t been this close to Shinsou since your break up.

It had been years since you had seen him or talked to him or even been close enough to catch a trace of his scent. And now he was flooding every one of your senses with no care of the repercussions.

Your head was light.

You missed him. You cared for him. You never stopped loving him.

And now old wounds that never fully healed had been ripped open all at once.

“You were shivering,” Hitoshi stated quietly. “So I gave you my--”

He stopped short when he heard a sniffle coming from your direction, eyes growing wide as your buried your face in the palms of your shaking hands.

Through the cracks between your fingers, you saw Shinsou reach out to cup your face, stopping himself before he could touch you and withdrawing as if he had been burned. As stupid as it was, you wanted nothing more than to feel his touch against your skin and you found yourself involuntarily taking a half-step closer to him.

Your silent tears feel even faster.

“Are you crying?”

Despite the droplets of water blurring your eyes, you managed to glare up at him for his dumb question.

He grimaced. “Sorry. I’m...sorry.”

Although you were the one crying, you still noticed the pained look on Shinsou’s face. He seemed just as conflicted as you were, his fingernails digging into the palms of his hands so hard his knuckles appeared white.

When he opened his mouth to speak his voice sounded choked, but still gentle. “Are you okay, Y/N?”

“Just peachy,” you murmured, barely moving your lips. The two of you stood there in awkward silence, nothing but the sounds of your labored breaths filling the air until you blurted, “Actually, you know what--? No. I’m not!”

Shinsou opened his mouth to speak but no noise came out. That was just fine by you, though. You had plenty of things you wanted to say, regardless of his response.

“I’m angry at you! And confused. And sad. And hurt! I don’t know if I want to yell at you or ignore you or run right back into your arms--” Your voice cracked and you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to slow your sharp breathing.

You hugged yourself around your waist, painfully aware of how comforting his jacket felt around your body. A part of you wished you could just tear the coat off your shoulders, throw it onto a puddle on the floor, give Shinsou the middle finger, and turn away without looking back.

But you couldn’t.

Instead, you let your tears continue to fall as you glowered at Hitoshi’s shoes.

“I am so mad at you,” you managed, hands clutching the fabric at your sides. “You lied to me, Hitoshi. You lied to me and you didn’t trust me and you left!”

The hurt from your past which you never wanted to accept mixed with anger from the present, both fueling your surge in emotions.

“And now you’re here--in front of me--acting like everything is okay?!” you shouted in exasperation. Your face was burning despite the chilling breeze outside. “Do you even care about me? Have you ever even cared about me?”

He gritted his teeth, hurt that you would even ask that. “Of course. Of course I care about you, Y/N! Even through all these years I’ve never stopped caring about you.”

“Funny way of showing it.”

His laugh was humorless. “I’m a fuck up. I know.”

Your gaze softened just the slightest bit. “Hey-- I didn’t say that.”

Shinsou shrugged. “Regardless, I did fuck up with you. And I’m so sorry for that.”

“For which time?” By now, the tears flowing out of your eyes slowed, the remnants dried by the biting wind. You gave him a wry smile, unamused.

“Both times,” he answered without hesitation. “I hurt you when I broke up with you for no damn reason and I lied when I told you I didn’t love you. That was the biggest lie of my life-- I still loved you. So much. But I jumped to conclusions and didn’t give you the change to explain. I owe you so much more than an apology but it’s the least I can give you right now.”

You rolled your lower lip between your teeth, hating yourself for wanting to accept his apology and jump into his arms. He gave no excuses for what he did and his words were genuine. That much you knew for certain.

Slowly, he inched towards you.

“I really am sorry, Y/N.” He paused. “You didn’t deserve any of that.”

You stayed silent, holding your breath as the pad of his thumb brushed against your damp cheek. Shinsou wiped away your flood of tears with a touch so gentle, it felt like a feather on your face.

His thumb lingered on your cheekbone, his fingertips lightly grazing your jaw, and you found yourself ever so slightly leaning into his palm. The tension in your muscles loosened and if you closed your eyes, you could almost pretend you were back with the Shinsou you loved in high school-- As if he never left and nothing had ever changed.

Just for a moment, you tricked yourself into being truly happy. You tricked yourself into thinking that maybe you and Hitoshi could still be in love.

You wanted to capture this second and replay it on an infinite loop, but just like all moments, this too had to come to an end.

As you opened your eyes, Hitoshi reluctantly brought his hand back to his side.

“Sorry,” he said, voice hoarse. “You were crying and I just wanted to--” He shook his head, cutting himself off before his voice cracked. “I’m sorry.”

It sounded like his apology was meant for more than just wiping some tears off your face.

You nodded almost imperceptibly, the anger in your gaze diffused by hurt and longing. “I know.”

As the minutes passed, neither one of you made a move to step away from the other-- Your bodies mere inches apart and so close, yet never quite touching.

Suddenly, Hitoshi cleared his throat.

“Er-- If you’ll let me, I think I should bring you home now,” he said, forcibly shaking himself out of his daze and pulling his phone out. “It’s almost four in the morning.”

Blinking, you rubbed your eyes. Not that he mentioned the time, you realized just how tired you were. You wanted to take a bubble bath, change into fluffy pajamas, and sleep until the following night.

“Do you have to go to your flower shop tomorrow?”

“Hmm?” You were startled. You had almost forgotten that the man in front of you was the same person you considered your “mememate.” As much as you hated to admit it, he probably knew more about you than some of your closest friends.

Biting your lip, you snapped yourself out of it.

“Oh-- Right. My flower shop.”

He nodded.

“No, I don’t have work tomorrow,” you answered finally. “I may not have made the smartest decisions tonight, but I’m not that irresponsible.”

A shadow of a smile graced his face. “Of course not.”

Fishing his keys from his pocket, Shinsou walked to the parking lot of the nightclub, looking over his shoulder to check if you were following.

When his gaze met yours you immediately stuck your tongue out at him haughtily so he knew you were only following him as a last resort and you needed to get home-- Not because you wanted to.

You caught a glimpse of his grin before he turned around, and you managed to stop yourself before one spread to your lips as well.

Stopping at a black car with tinted windows, Hitoshi unlocked it with his keys, opening the door of the passenger seat and waiting for you to safely enter.

“I can open a door myself,” you murmured, sliding into the seat securely before he gently shut it close.

“I know,” you heard his amused voice call through the window.

It felt like there was one, singular butterfly fluttering around in your stomach and causing mayhem, and you batted it away before Hitoshi could come in and see the grin on your face.

“Did I just see you just hit yourself in the gut?” he asked when he entered through the driver’s side.

“No.”

“Okay.”

Subtly, you rubbed your tummy in a soft, circular motion. You hadn’t meant to punch the butterfly that hard.

“Didn’t hit yourself, huh?”

You flushed. “Oh, hush.”

With a snort, Hitoshi turned the engine of his car on and you let your eyes explore the interior. It was sleek and clean, smelling like a mixture of sandalwood and new car.

Reaching behind the gear level, he pulled out a white cord and handed it to you. You stared at the object in his hands.

“For you,” he said, with a raised brow. “You should charge your phone and let your friends know you’re on your way home.”

Wordlessly, you accepted it from him. Careful not to let your fingers brush against his in fear of the spark it might cause.

“I messaged Kaminari earlier to let him know you were safe. But he probably wants to hear it from you.”

You nodded as you plugged your dead phone in. “Thanks.”

He hummed, putting the car on drive and backing out of the parking spot, stopping before he reached the main street.

“Do you know how to get home from here?” he asked. As you shook your head, Hitoshi handed you his fully charged phone that was opened on the navigation app. “You can search for your address.”

“Got it.” The air between you was almost suffocatingly awkward as you typed in where you lived, each click of the keyboard ringing into the stillness of the night. After finding turning the directions on, you handed the phone back to him. “Thanks.”

Shaking his head, he waved you off. “You don’t need to keep thanking me, Y/N. This is the least I could do.”

Averting your gaze, you twiddled your thumbs in your lap, unsure what to say. You had so much you wanted to tell him--so much you wanted to ask--but when it came to it, you froze.

Just then, your phone made a sound from its spot near the gear shift, buzzing and lighting up as it finally turned on. A plethora of notifications filled your screen and you found yourself feeling guilty for making your friends worry like that.

Five missed calls for Kaminari, three missed calls from Todoroki, and nine missed calls from Bakugou. You gulped. You were definitely going to get your ears talked off by those three once they got a hold of you.

But amidst the calls and texts of worry from your friends, you also noticed a handful of messages from Hitoshi. He sent you texts asking if you were okay and telling you not to worry because he was on his way to get you. There was a lump in your throat when he saw the messages were still from your mememate-- You never did get around to changing his contact name.

From the corner of your eye you saw Hitoshi glancing down at your phone screen, a look of regret apparent on his face. When he caught you staring, he directed his attention back on the road, clearing his throat as he followed the directions on the navigation system.

To think only a week ago, things were so different between the two of you.

You thought he was a random stranger you connected with through the power of memes, never having a clue that he was your ex this whole time. You found yourself opening up and sharing your private feelings with him despite the promise you made yourself to always guard your heart.

Even anonymously, Hitoshi climbed over your walls and found his way to the inner workings of your life. Even anonymously, he made everything feel like it was okay.

But a part of you was scared--so scared--that it was all in your head and he was only playing you this whole time. And at this point, you were just too afraid to ask.

“Are you crying again?”

“What?!” you yelped in alarm, wiping at your slightly damp face with the sleeves of his coat. “No, you asshole!” You glared at him, a few loose tears still gathered by the corners of your eyes. You refused to let them fall through the use of sheer willpower. “The air conditioning is just blasting into my eyes.”

“The air conditioner is off.”

You blinked. “Well that makes sense. It’s so hot in here I’m just sweating through my eyes.”

He pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. “Right.”

The lighthearted mood didn’t last very long, however, when your phone buzzed once more and the notifications from earlier tonight appeared on your lockscreen.

“I really made everyone worry, huh?” You sighed, leaning back against the headrest and shutting your eyes, the effects of the alcohol long since worn off. “I can’t believe I did something like this.”

He signaled a left turn and waited until he was at the red light before continuing. “I’m sorry for causing this.”

You stared at him in confusion. “What do you mean? Causing this?”

“Yeah. If I had just told you who I was the moment I found out, this wouldn’t have happened. You wouldn’t have been scared and alone at a random nightclub and your friends wouldn’t have been in near panic for hours. Hell-- If I hadn’t run away like that all those years ago none of this would have happened.” His fingers tightened around the steering wheel so hard it left indents on the leather. “You wouldn’t have felt all the pain and heartbreak and--”

His voice grew hoarse as it broke off, as if something was tightening around his throat. Holding your breath, you gazed at him in concern.

You were angry at Hitoshi and thought he had a lot of explaining to do-- Sure. But...for him to blame himself for everything that happened? That was more weight than anyone should bear on their own.

Surprising both him and yourself, you firmly placed your hand on top of his as he gripped the steering wheel. His hands were cold and rough from the wind, and you were certain yours weren’t much better. But still, you held him. And still, it felt right.

“Not everything is your fault, Toshi,” you said quietly, his old nickname slipping out of your mouth before you could stop it, like it was natural for you to call him that.

His eyes widened and a flush filled your cheeks.

You coughed to relieve the tension in your neck. “I just mean… You don’t need to blame yourself for everything. You messed up and there’s no denying that, but this isn’t all your fault. I mean it.”

Your eyes met before he tore his gaze away to focus on driving. Quickly, you retracted your hand from on top of Shinsou’s, cradling it against your stomach as you felt the burn from his skin linger on yours.

“Thank you.” His voice was solemn and grateful, as if he needed to hear those words at least once in his life. “You’re too caring, you know? Your heart is too good.”

You let out a breath of laughter, brushing his compliment off. “Yours is too. It’s just been through some shit. And maybe didn’t make the best decisions.”

“It most definitely didn’t.”

Though neither of you were looking at each other, there was a shared sense of happiness between the two of you--regardless of how brief it may have been. There was a small smile playing on your face as you bit your lip to keep it from growing wider.

You hadn’t fully forgiven Hitoshi, he still had some explaining to do, but you felt a sense of calmness when you realized that maybe forgiveness would be possible.

Before you knew it, you heard the navigator say, “Your destination is on the right,” as Hitoshi pulled up at the curb in front of your building.

“We’re here,” he announced slowly, one hand on the gear level as if he wasn’t sure what to do next.

There was an awkward silence as you unplugged your phone from his car charger. It wasn’t that you wanted to spend more time with him exactly (that was definitely not the case), but rather you had more questions to ask. And what better time to figure out those questions than at four in the morning?

“You’ve been driving for a while…” you trailed off, hoping he caught the hint without too much embarrassment on your part. “Do you want to use the restroom before you drive back home?”

Hitoshi scratched the back of his neck. “No, I’m good. I wasn’t out for that long.”

“O-Oh,” you stuttered, a sudden feeling of nerves settling in your stomach. Not those damned butterflies again. “Well, how about… Maybe you want a glass of water or a cup of tea?”

He gave you a curious look but set his car to park and turned off the engine nonetheless. “Sure…? Some water would be nice.”

You let out a sigh of relief you didn’t know you were holding, pulling your keys out of your pocket and unbuckling your seatbelt. Before you could open the car door for yourself, Hitoshi was already on the passenger’s side ready to open it for you.

“I know how to open a door,” you muttered with a roll of your eye, but felt a faint flush litter your cheeks nonetheless. You hopped out of your seat, accepting the hand he offered to stead you. “But...thank you.”

“No worries.”

For someone you were still mad at, he was making it damn hard for you to stay petty.

Despite the light throbbing in your head, both from drinking too much alcohol and from staying up too late, you were able to lead him inside your living room with no complications--only struggling with unlocking the door just a little.

“Welcome to my house,” you said, flapping your arms around and fidgeting in place. You slid off your shoes and placed them at the doorway and Hitoshi followed suit. “You can, uh, sit on the couch while I get you water. Or you can follow me into the kitchen…?”

Your eyes scanned the floors and furniture of your apartment. You liked maintaining your living space clean and clutter-free, so it wasn’t too much of a mess. Still, you weren’t expecting any guests and it wasn’t as nice as it could have been…

You shook your head, giving your face a light slap when you thought no one was looking. You shouldn’t be bothered. It was just Hitoshi here. Someone you most definitely no longer cared about.

Or so you kept telling yourself.

He followed behind you, grabbing at his neck and glancing between your walls and you, unsure what to look at in this new environment. After all, it wasn’t everyday you picked up your ex that you haven’t seen for four years at a bar only to be invited into their house.

“I can go with you to the kitchen,” he answered with uncertainty.

“G-Great!”

You grimaced. When did you become Tony the Tiger all of a sudden?

As you grabbed two glasses from the cupboard, you filled them up with ice and water, setting one next to Shinsou on the countertop.

He accepted it. “Thank you.”

You nodded and there was an awkward silence, both of you taking long sips from your glass, not knowing where to go from here. You knew you wanted to talk to him, but what were you going to ask exactly? What was the right way to go about this situation?

Next to you, Hitoshi looked like he was having some inner struggles of his own. His fingers flexed and unflexed around the cool glass, both avoiding your gaze and looking at you at the same time.

Biting your lip, you turned to look at him. As uncomfortable as it was, there was no better time to ask than now.

“Can we talk--?”

“We should talk--”

You both started and stopped at the same time.

There was a beat of elongated silence before the two of you laughed. Shaking your head, you buried your face in your hands, peering at him between your fingers.

“This is silly,” you cried in embarrassment. “Why are we so awkward?”

Hitoshi shrugged as a flustered laugh escaped his own lips. “Because this is weird. This is a strange situation we’re in and no one would ever expect something like this to happen.”

“Exactly!”

“But,” he continued, almost hesitantly, “I’m kind of glad it did, though.”

Your own laughter quieted down as the mood became more serious. You drank another gulp of water to quench your suddenly parched throat.

“Can we talk in the living room?” you asked, heading towards the hallway when Hitoshi nodded. You figured if you were going to have an uncomfortable conversation, you may as well try to find some comfort in your warm and plush sofa.

You sat down at the edge near the armrest and he took a seat not too far from you. There was less than a cushion space separating the two of you and if you were to move a few inches, your thighs would be touching.

Tearing your gaze away from your legs, you looked up to face Hitoshi. “You don’t have to answer, but… There have been some questions on my mind lately.”

He nodded, as if expecting you to say that. “Ask away. It’s the least I could do.”

You curled your legs and hugged your knees to your chest, peering at him through your lashes.

“Okay,” you said somewhat unsurely. Confrontation was never easy. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew who I was? How long were you planning on keeping it from me?”

Hitoshi ran a hand through his hair, tufts of purple sticking out in random patterns. Somehow, it suited him.

“I found out a day or so before you confessed to liking...your mememate,” he admitted. He had told you this through text when you asked, but hearing it a second time didn’t make it hurt any less. “I was going to tell you that day, too. But then you told me you liked me and I didn’t know how to break it to you then.”

You looked away, embarrassed at the reminder of the night you poured your heart out to him. He knew you were his ex the whole time and still didn’t stop you? You scoffed, “Well, you could’ve stopped me before I humiliated myself like that.”

“Humiliate-- How?”

“What do you mean how?” You glared. “I totally embarrassed myself that night by saying how much I liked you--my ex!--only to have you basically reject me on the spot!”

“I didn’t reject you.”

“I told you that you were the first person I liked since...well you,” you said, rubbing your temples to ease your own confusion. “And you never said it back. Not that you needed to. It’s totally fine that you don’t. It’s just that… I don’t even know. I just wish I never said anything.”

He placed the glass he was holding onto a coaster on your coffee table, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry,” said Hitoshi. “But that’s not it at all. I wasn’t trying to reject you. I would’ve told you I liked you back-- I wanted to, I swear.”

Your head snapped to his. He wanted to tell you? As in he started liking you too? Even when he didn’t know who you were?

With a wistful smile, he continued, “But it wasn’t fair to you. Not when I knew who you were and you didn’t know who I was. You didn’t deserve that bullshit.”

You stretched your legs out so they were dangling off the couch, folding one carefully over the other as you crossed your arms. “Then you should’ve just told me the truth about who you were.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He hung his head. “And if I did, you never would’ve told me your feelings.”

“Exactly,” you huffed. “They’d be safe and locked away in my heart until they disappeared.”

He was silent as you turned his body towards yours, resting his arm on the back cushions of the sofa.

“Is that really what you want, though?” he asked. “You’re so kind and beautiful and you deserve to open your heart to someone and be happy with them.” A flush rose to your cheeks at his sudden words of kindness but you shook it away. “I never knew I hurt you so badly that you were scared to love again-- And I’ll hate myself everyday for that.”

“Hitoshi…” Your gaze softened. You wanted to reach out and smooth down his hair but you couldn’t.

He hurt you, yes. But to hate himself and never forgive himself for it? You thought that was far too extreme.

“When you broke up with me,” you started slowly, unsure how to go about this, “you said that our relationship was nothing more than some cheap dates and sex.” He winced, holding his stomach as if he felt nauseous. “If you’re so regretful now, why did you ever say something like that? Did I really mean nothing to you?”

“No-- Of course you meant something to me. Y/N, you were everything to me. And it’s ridiculous of me to say this now but I never wanted to hurt you like that,” Hitoshi said, his eyes squeezed shut. “But I did and I’m so sorry. I thought if I told you those mean things you would find it easier to just hate me and move on. Be with Kaminari or someone who could make you happy.”

You glared at him with both sadness and anger, nails digging into your palms. “I was happy. With you. Is that so hard to believe?”

“A little.”

Taken aback, you stared at him. You weren’t sure what response you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that.

“But not because of anything you did,” he rushed before you could get the wrong idea. “I just thought you were a good person who truly deserved something better than what I could give. You should be with someone who wasn’t anxious and insecure and messed up.”

You were unsure if you wanted to smack Hitoshi or give him a hug, so you sat there stock-still.

“Even when I saw you with Kaminari, a part of me thought it would be better off that way,” he admitted, a scornful look on his face as he scoffed at himself. “But that wasn’t my call to make, was it? And how I went about it was wrong and dishonest. I’m really sorry.”

He tugged at a loose thread on the sofa while staring at you in earnest. There were so many things to say and not enough time in the night to say it.

“You’re right. It wasn’t your call,” you said, furrowing your brows. “I wish you would’ve told me you were feeling this way all those years ago. I loved you--regardless of what you may have thought. And what you said really hurt me.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I fucked up and hurt you more deeply than I could’ve ever imagined. You felt like you couldn’t have feelings for anyone for all those years because of what I did, and if I could take it all back, I would.”

His hand trembled slightly as he reached out to cup your face, pulling away harshly before he could touch you.

“You deserve to find love, Y/N. Even if it’s not with me because I know I have no right to anyone’s heart after what I did--”

“Hey, don’t say that!” you interrupted, a wrinkle forming as you scrunched up your nose. You frowned at him. “You deserve to find love again, too. You may have messed up a few times, and I’m not going to pretend like I wasn’t hurt, but I still care about you. A lot. And just because you made some really bad decisions doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to ever be happy.”

He looked down at his lap, hands curled into fists by his side. You had the sinking suspicion he didn’t believe you.

Swallowing your pride, you inched closer to him, lightly lifting his chin so he stared at you face-to-face. The dark purple of his eyes stormed as a conflicted expression overcame him and you wanted to run a finger over his brow and brush the insecurities away.

Quietly, you whispered, “You’re so worthy of love, Hitoshi. And it makes me so sad that you still haven’t realized it.”

You felt a piece of your heart chip as he pulled away from you, gritting his teeth as he hung his head. When he spoke, his voice sounded choked, as if he was holding back tears.

“You’ve shown me too much kindness,” he said, words shakey. “Even after I assumed you cheated and broke up with you in the cruelest way possible--”

His voice cracked and he couldn’t speak. With his gaze avoiding yours he pushed himself off the couch.

“God, I’m sorry,” Hitoshi muttered, his face a look of self-disdain. “I shouldn’t even be here in your life right now. I should just--”

Your hand grabbed the one he used to shove himself off your sofa, holding his fingers tight in between yours. With your head bowed, you called, “Don’t leave again. Not yet.”

He froze in his spot, one leg immobile in front of the other in the direction of the door. Desperately, you tugged at his arm so he looked back at you. Your eyes pleaded with him. This wasn’t the end. It couldn’t be the end until you received your closure and Hitoshi received his.

“You know that night we played Truth or Drink?” you asked, breaking the silence.

He stared back at you curiously, slowly sitting down as you patted the seat next to you. Cautiously, he nodded in response.

That night was a pivotal time in bonding with your mememate and it was the closest you had felt with anyone besides your best friends.

Continuing, you said, “You told me about your dad cheating on your mom. And then seeing me and Denki the next day after I lied about who I was with.”

There was no accusatory tone in your voice, and you stated it as if you were recalling the facts. But still, Hitoshi winced.

“Yeah, shit.” He placed his palm over his forehead, rubbing at his temple as he grimaced. “I really just jumped to conclusions like that and it was unfair to you. I’m so sorry.”

You didn’t reply to his apology, but gave him a small smile. “That night, I told you I thought your response was understandable. It made sense that you were mistrustful at the time. Especially after just finding out about your parents-- People I know you looked up to. Even in regards to love.”

Hitoshi wore a guarded expression, but still listened keenly to what you had to say.

“Toshi… My opinion on that doesn’t change just because I now know it was me you were talking about.”

“Y/N--”

“Don’t get me wrong,” you clarified, not wanting to sound too lenient. “I’m still hurt that you couldn’t trust me. I wish you confronted me so we could’ve cleared up the misunderstanding. I wish you hadn’t stood me up on our anniversary date. But most importantly… I wish I could have been there for you when you found out about your parents.”

Hitoshi sat there in silence, mouth opening but unable to form the sentences he wanted.

You gave him a look of regret, one hand still not letting go of his even as he stayed seated beside you. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.”

“It’s not your fault. At all.”

As you shook your head, he faltered. “Still, you went to America, alone, and never told anyone what was wrong. You kept all these feelings to yourself this whole time and I hate that so much.”

“I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. I don’t deserve to--”

Your fingers twitched. How many times was he going to beat himself while he was already down?

“Stop saying that!” you snapped, unable to contain your emotions. “You are not a burden. And you deserve so much more than you think you do.”

His eyes widened at your outburst and his lips parted slightly.

“It’s good you know what you did was wrong-- You can’t pretend lying and making assumptions was okay because it’s not. But you know it’s not! And you acknowledge that and it seems like you regret it.” Your voice took on a desperate tone as you tried to get Hitoshi to see his mistakes as something separate from his worth as a whole. “You’ve made mistakes, but you can grow from them. Fucking up doesn’t mean you’re undeserving of love and happiness. You don’t have to take all the blame onto yourself.”

“How can I not take the blame?” he asked, his frustration at himself matching yours. “If I had been a better boyfriend, I would have trusted you more. If I had been a better person, I wouldn’t have lied to you. And maybe if I had been a better son, my parents--”

As if your body had a mind of its own, you threw your arms around him in a hug before he could finish his sentence. You heard a sharp inhale come from him as he sat, rigid.

“Don’t,” you whispered, breathing harshly as you held him tight. “Please, Toshi. Don’t say that. If no one ever told you this, please listen to me then. It’s not your fault. Your parents divorcing has nothing to do with your worth. Don’t blame yourself for the issues they had.”

His shoulders were still tense despite the shudder of tears you felt.

“You don’t need to blame yourself for everything. Hold yourself accountable, yes. Always strive to be a better person, yes. But don’t think it’s all your fault,” you pleaded. “You don’t have to handle everything on your own. You can lean on someone, Toshi.” You gently stroked the hair on the back of his head. “You can lean on me.”

At your words, you felt him visibly relax, his body free of the tension as you held him close.

Suddenly, his arms wrapped around you as he returned your embrace, his strong hands firmly gripping your waist as if he never wanted to let you go. You found yourself loosening up at his touch and you placed your head in his chest.

Peering up at him through your lashes, you said, “I don’t know if you need to hear this, but I need to say it.”

His thumb stroked the length of your spine as you continued.

“I forgive you, Hitoshi. For everything.” He stopped moving as he looked at you in surprise. You simply smiled at him. “Your apologies were genuine and so is your regret. I know you’re a good person and I forgive you, so please stop blaming yourself now.”

“Thank you, Y/N. So much.” He pulled away ever so slightly, feelings of guilt still flooding him. “But I feel like I still don’t deserve it though--”

A noise of protest bubbled up at your throat. “I swear to god, if I hear the d-word come out of your mouth again, I’ll make you shut up.” After a moment’s pause, you tried to hide your laughter. “Heh. D-word.”

“Oh my god,” he said, his amusement escaping him. With his arms still around your waist, he challenged, “How would you make me shut up?”

You wiggled your eyebrows. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Hitoshi laughed a genuine laugh that you haven’t heard in years. The deep rumble had a smile of your own forming on your lips.

But the mood turned serious when you gazed into his eyes again.

“Really, though…” you said, squeezing the fabric at his sides. “I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way for so long without telling anyone. I hope you know you can always talk to me.”

He tilted his head back, staring at your ceiling as you caught sight of his Adam’s apple. “Why are you being so nice to me after how much I hurt you?”

“Because I care about you,” you answered simply. “And I know you still care about me. You wouldn’t be this hung up over everything if you didn’t.”

There was a sort of smugness in you as you teased him and he let out a breath of laughter.

“Hah. I do. I care about you. And I’ve missed you so much.”

You didn’t think it was possible, but he hugged you even closer to him. Your arms released their embrace on Hitoshi as you brought them to your sides. He looked down at you with a strange expression.

“I’ve missed you, too,” you admitted, squeezing your eyes shut as if it pained you. “You’re the first and only person I’ve ever loved and I miss you more than you could ever know.”

Your head was bowed at his chest as you tried to steady your trembling hands by grasping the fabric at the front of his shirt.

“Why did you never call me? Why didn’t you tell me you were moving to another continent? Toshi, I loved you so much--” Your voice broke off as the tears you were holding in escaped you. “Why did you leave me?”

His fingers were laced in your hair, holding you tight. He wanted nothing more than to soothe your tears and hated himself for being the cause of them. “I’m an insecure idiot who fucked up the best thing that ever happened to him.”

Through the blur of tears, you saw the wistful look on his face. The best thing? you thought to yourself, touched.

“No amount of apologizing is going to fix anything,” he said, accepting it as a fact, “but I am so sorry. And I want you to know I’m grateful the person who AirDropped me that day was you.”

He lifted your chin and wiped your tears away with the pad of his thumb. Your knees were touching his thighs as you sat down with your legs folded under you, facing him. Letting go of the grip you had on his shirt, you unballed your fists and instead rested your palms on his chest.

You grinned at the audacity of it all. “I still can’t believe that happened. But I’m glad it did, too.”

“Must be a small world.”

“Or maybe it’s fate.” Your hand found his as you interlocked pinkies with him bashfully.

Hitoshi looked down at your interlaced fingers and a light dusting of pink colored his cheeks. A sense of enjoyment filled you as he continued to blush, a teasing grin playing on your face.

Before you lost any courage you had, you pressed your lips against the corner of his mouth-- Not quite a kiss but most definitely an invitation for one.

The red on his cheeks died down as his eyes darkened in color, removing his hand from your waist to cup your jaw. Hitoshi’s palm was warm and soft against you and you leaned into his caress.

“Do you feel like you got the closure you needed?” he asked, his voice a whisper as he leaned close to you.

“Yes.” You nodded, painfully aware of your close proximity. If you were to lift your head up any more, your lips would brush against his. “Do you?”

“Yes.”

His forehead was pressed against yours and your heart was being so hard, you were certain Hitoshi could hear it from his spot in front of you.

After a moment’s silence, you said, “Now what?”

He shrugged, eyes shut. “That’s up to you to decide. I’m happy with doing whatever will make you happiest. And if that means leaving you alone and letting you close this chapter, then I--”

You yelped, silencing him with a gentle shove on the chest.

“Are you crazy?” you asked incredulously. “You think I would ever let you go again?” There was frustration in your voice as you resisted the temptation to kiss the stupidity out of him. “I… I mean, unless that’s what you want?”

“Y/N…” Now he was the one with the tone of disbelief, like he couldn’t wrap his mind around what you had just said. “I’d want to stay with you. For as long as you’d let me.”

“O-Oh?” Your eyes widened in shock, but soon settled into an ecstatic smile. “Fate must have done us a favor with all this AirDrop stuff, huh? I fell for you all those years ago as Shinsou, and I fell for you again without even knowing who you were. There’s no way I’d throw that chance away.”

Tired of waiting for him to make the first move, you brought your hands to the back of his neck, and lifted your head up to meet his. You spotted an amused look on his face, but it didn’t last very long when your lips finally pressed against his with a contented sigh.

His movements were gentle and slow, like he was afraid if he kissed you any harder he would find this was only an illusion that would shatter. But it wasn’t. It was real and it was genuine and you wanted to prove it to him.

You broke away from his touch to pepper chaste kisses on his jawline, starting at the lobe of his ear and making your way down to the sensitive part of his throat you knew would drive him crazy, your hot breath blowing against his neck as a guttural sound escaped him.

“Eager, are we?” he asked hoarsely, his chin lifted.

You grinned mischievously against him.

“As much as I appreciate the gesture,” said Hitoshi, gently pushing you away with a roguish glint in his eyes, “you don’t always have to keep giving. You should be spoiled for a change.”

You squealed when his hands trailed down your sides to cup the undersides of your thighs, lifting you up as you sat down on his lap. His hands unclasped the button that fastened his coat on you and brushed the collar aside, exposing the supple skin on your upper chest.

“You should be spoiled,” he breathed in between each kiss he planted on your decolletage, “every day of your life.”

Your face burned at the implication of his words, the skin his mouth had touched feeling like they were searing hot. Though his jacket had fallen off your shoulders, you were still overwhelmed by his scent, the woodsy citrus filling your senses as you sighed his name and you still couldn’t get enough. He was more intoxicating than any vodka you had consumed earlier that night.

Growing impatient at his teasing, you squirmed on his lap, causing him to hiss in response.

You giggled at his expression and stuck your tongue out at him. “Just kiss me already.”

Tossing his inhibitions to the side, he obliged.

When your lips met again, this time it wasn’t uncertain and gentle. Each move Hitoshi made was firm and deliberate and if you weren’t already sitting down, your knees would have gone weak and given in.

His teeth grazed your lower lip and he kissed you harder, and your hands found themselves tangled underneath the hem of his shirt. The skin on your arms filled with goosebumps as he mimicked your motions, his fingers toying with the clasp of your bra as his name escaped your lips once more in a strangled moan.

Before it could go any further, however, Hitoshi removed his hands from the band of your undergarments and slowly pulled away from your kiss.

His face was flushed with beads of sweat falling down the side and his breathing was labored. You were certain you weren’t any better as you rested your forehead against his to steady yourself.

“Why’d you stop?” you asked with a strained voice, giving him your best pleading eyes.

“It’s late and you need some rest, baby.” He pressed a soft kiss to your nose with a smile. “I don’t want to stop--believe me,” he promised, his hands squeezing your thighs that still straddled his lap, “but I also don’t want you to rush into anything you might regret.”

You pouted, not wanting him to stop, but also feeling grateful he wanted to make sure you weren’t going to do anything you would regret the next day.

“Damn you for being such a gentleman,” you grumbled.

He ran the tip of his tongue against his lower lip. It was plump and red and it took all your willpower not to kiss it again.

“Only sometimes, princess,” he said when he noticed how your gaze zeroed in on his mouth. “But for now, you should get ready for bed. The sun is almost rising already.”

Hitoshi made a move to get up and you slowly unwrapped your legs from his hips, standing up shakily. He placed his hands on your hips to help you steady yourself, but that just made the weakness worse.

Still holding you, he stood up from the couch and looked down at you, resting his chin on the top of your head as you hugged him.

“You’re leaving?” you whimpered, a pout on your face.

“Sadly,” he sighed. “I have work tomorrow. Well, in a few hours I suppose. But if you need me to stay I--”

“Oh, my god!” you cried, jumping away from him. “You have work? And yet you still came for me and let me keep you this whole time?! Toshi!”

You folded your arms across your chest as you scolded him, but he just ruffled your hair playfully.

“It was the least I could do,” said Hitoshi. “And I’m used to running on little to no sleep. It’s fine, don’t worry about me.”

“It’s not fine! If you don’t get enough sleep this week I will smother you until you pass out.” You glared at him, holding his face between your hands and examining his tired eyes. Your gaze softened when you saw how sleepy he looked and thought about how well he hid it from everyone. You sighed. “And I think you’re a lot more selfless and caring than you give yourself credit for.”

You kissed the apples of his cheeks and smoothed his brows.

“Thank you for tonight,” you said. “You should get going.”

“No, you’re the one I should be thanking,” he replied, giving you one last embrace before getting ready to head towards the door.

Both of your legs felt like lead, neither of you wanting to leave the other after years of being apart. With a smile, he moved towards the door.

In silence, you examined him for the first time in four years. He was taller than before-- Bulkier, too. It looked like he worked out since he was in college, his plain shirt stretching against his pectoral muscles.

But still, he was the same Shinsou Hitoshi you had always loved.

You glanced at his bared arms and your eyes widened. “Oh, wait--! Your coat!”

It had fallen off your shoulders and onto the floor during the heat of the moment, and you picked it up and brought it to him. As you held it out, his hands wrapped your outstretched ones around the fabric of his sweater.

“No, it’s okay,” he said with a shake of his head and a small grin on his lips. “You should keep it. It suits you.”

You raised an eyebrow at him in warning, but hugged the coat to your body nonetheless. “I hope you know this means I’m never giving it back to you now.”

Hitoshi laughed. “I figured.”

He was about to grab the door knob when you blurted, “O-Or maybe I could give it back to you! If we were to, I don’t know, meet up for some food this week?”

Turning back in surprise, he was met with a look of utter embarrassment on your face. Your cheeks felt like they were on fire.

You bit your lip, unsure what had just come over you when you asked him on a date but also not regretting it for a moment.

“Only if you want,” you murmured, suddenly feeling more bashful.

Taking the hint, Hitoshi looked at you with a mix of wonder and amusement. “Sure. I’ll get some food with you just to have my coat back.”

You gasped, cheeks burning. “You know what? Never mind, I’m keeping this--!”

“I’m kidding,” he laughed, tone still teasing. “The jacket is just a bonus. What I’d really be there for is...the food.”

You buried your head in your hands and sighed. “I-- Why do I have to like you?”

He shrugged, feeling just as lost as you were. “Because feelings are strange.”

“They are,” you agreed. “But they’re worth it. And so are you.”

Hitoshi smiled as you gave him a gentle kiss goodnight.

“Have a safe drive home, Toshi.”

“Thank you. Go get some sleep now, kitten. We can talk when you wake up.”

You nodded feverishly, almost bouncing in anticipation at the thought of talking to him again. “I’m going to sleep right now so I wake up faster and get to talk to you sooner.”

A chuckle of surprise left his lips before he could stop himself. “You’re such a dork, you know? But I love that about you.”

Your face heated at the sound of the l-word as the two of you stared at each other, both in shock that the night happened and even happier that it did.

“I… I should go now,” he said in a daze. He didn’t want to leave and you didn’t want him to, but you knew he had work soon.

You nodded, waving at him as he left your house. “See you soon, Hitoshi.”

When the door closed shut behind him, you slumped a little. Tired and exhausted yet wishing you could see him soon. Though it might have been foolish, you couldn’t help but wish he was feeling the same.

Grabbing your phone on the coffee table, you unlocked it to check the time. You were about to shut it off and put it in your pocket when a notification bubble popped up on your screen.

“AirDrop: mememate would like to share a note,” it read, and a grin spread across your lips as you eagerly pressed accept.

The notepad application immediately opened up on your phone and you read the small message on the off-white display.

mememate: can’t wait for our date, y/n. p.s. i really really like you.

Letting out a surprised cry of joy, you held your phone to your chest, hugging it along with Hitoshi’s jacket he had left you.

From the other side of the door, Hitoshi had heard your scream and responded with a laugh of his own. A feeling of warmth in his heart as he placed his phone in his pocket and headed for his car. Thank goodness for AirDrop.

Your heart was pounding and your lips were still pulsing from the way he kissed you. Even as you got ready for bed and drifted off into a restful sleep, the silly smile never fell from your face.

You were grateful he came to get you at the nightclub, and you were grateful he was the recipient of your memes that day at the amusement park.

He made mistakes in the past and you were no saint either, but you had an opportunity to heal those wounds and be with Hitoshi again.

And you just couldn’t wait for your next date together.

a/n: AHHH THAT WAS A LOT,, pls let me know what you think! i know some readers never want to forgive shinsou at all and that’s okay, but i do think y/n forgives him and still really cares about him [and maybe l-words him? o.o] so i hope u support it 🥺 ilysm and thank you for reading! lmk ur thoughts !! xx

5K notes · View notes

biggest-stupidhead · 3 years

Note

Hello! I usually don’t request much so I hope Im doing this right. I absolutely loved the fic where the reader accidentally breaks Levi’s nose and saw that you would be willing to write a 3rd part! So if someone hasn’t already asked, may I request a part where Levi and the reader slowly fall in love. ( Maybe a little flirting along the way from the reader 😗) Eventually one of them confesses and Levi is all flustered and shy ( I heard that he stutters around his crush but I don’t know if that’s confirmed! I just thought that it was adorable🥺)

I found your blog recently and loved your writing so I couldn’t resist requesting! Sorry if this seems a little vague. Feel free to do whatever! Thank you~

yesssss!!! thank u so much for the support anon 🥺 and this was a perfect request thank u for sending it in!

Summary: Late night paper work and early afternoon naps.

Word Count: 3.4K (I got a little carried away 🤭)

In the four years that you had been in the survey corps, this was by far the busiest. You had been working under Sis, until recently when Hange began the tedious process of transferring you onto her squad. Just when she was about finished, the whole Trost situation arose, putting your transfer on pause. And by the end of it, after Eren’s trial you had just kind of...settled into a vague routine of working with Levi and Hange squads. Bouncing between the two of them. But now as you sat in front of Erwin’s desk, Levi leaning casually against the desk, looking over Erwin’s shoulder as he signed off on some last minute details.

“Alright then... that settles it (Y/n)! Levi is under your care now!” He teased, earning a sharp jab in the ribs from Levi.

“I do hope that you are a night owl as well.” Erwin continued to relentlessly tease him, and your hand flew to your mouth to cover the smile and little giggle threatening to spill out.

“I think that we’ll manage just fine Commander.” You said, smirking at Levi who was glaring at the back of Erwin’s blonde head.

“Oh I know you will (Y/n).” Erwin picked up his stack of papers and tapped them against his desk before passing them over to you. You smiled up at him and stretched a hand across to shake, his warm hand closed over your own.

“Thank you sir.” You glanced at Levi who was now practically pouting as he stood impatiently by the door.

“Better get going, Levi isn’t the most patient.” Erwin whispered to you with a sly smirk and a wink. You let that laugh loose now as you stood from your chair and held the papers to your chest.

“I’ll see you around Commander.” You said with a little wave as you joined Levi at the door. He opened the door and basically stormed out into the corridor.

“Anxious to get to work Captain?” You teased as you matched his steps, which were brisk and surprisingly long despite his size.

“Don’t get cocky, I’m still your superior.” Levi reminded you, since this was a new unfamiliar side of you that he was unfamiliar with, he had no clue how to handle you. Maybe he could find a way to ask Hange about this foreign side of you without drawing too much attention to himself? No that was nearly impossible, damn four eyes was too keen on the little details.

“No need to worry Captain, I know how the chain of command works around here.” You said as you paused in front of his office, waiting for him to use his key and let you in. He just rolled his eyes, not sure if he was more interested in having this version around or more annoyed. He shook these thoughts off, it was far too late for him to double back on his request for you to become his assistant now. You settled into the chair across from him and began to flip through the paper work that Erwin had just given to you. Levi returned to writing the condolence letters that he had been working on before Erwin had called for the two of you. It was late afternoon, nearly dinner time. Levi usually only got a small portion of food and brought it back to his office to eat. He hadn’t expected you to do the same. But when he dismissed you for dinner you instead offered to bring his meal to him. A bit bashfully, he accepted your offer, and was even more surprised when you came in with two portions and a tray of tea.

You seemed unbothered with not sitting with your peers, Levi almost tricked himself into believing that you were choosing to spend time with him over the others. But he quickly dismissed those thoughts, knowing that it was most likely the paperwork that was keeping you here. He continued to sneak glances at you through out the evening, waiting for you to ask if you could be dismissed. But you remained silent and focused on the paper work before you. Levi realized that the two of you managed to finish work that usually took him all night to finish, well before midnight. He was unsure of what to do with this free time as he watched you stand and stretch.

“Same thing tomorrow Captain?” You said with a sleepy smile on your face. Levi’s eyes narrowed and he nodded, waving you off.

“See you first thing in the morning then.” You said over your shoulder as you left the office, closing his door softly behind you. Levi blinked dumbly after you, he felt so very...confused. He had never felt this flutter in his chest before, or the tightness in his stomach at seeing you leave. Levi stayed awake late into the night, mulling over the way that he had felt when he watched you leave, the excitement that had sparked inside of him at your promise to see him in the morning.

He even caught himself wondering what it would be like to have you with him all night. Not necessarily in a sexual way, but in a way in which he could see you right before he fell asleep, and again when he first opened his eyes. The thought brought those butterflies back into this stomach, fluttering around in the most annoying way.

The next few days continued in a similar pattern, you kept that same sass, often surprising him with your own crass jokes that rivaled his. It was a particularly sunny Sunday afternoon, the only day that soldiers had off out of the week. He had offered the day off for you but you had refused, and now you were looking like you regretted that decision. Your head was held precariously on the palm of your hand while your other hand flew across the paper as you wrote. Your eyes were closing every now and then, and Levi would pause when they did. Waiting to see if you had finally succumbed to sleep that had been chasing you all day seemingly.

“What?” You mumbled, eyes still closed, pen hanging limply from your fingers.

“Hm?” Levi hummed, eyes snapping back down onto his paper in a desperate attempt at looking innocent.

“Do I have ink on my face or something?” You asked as you set the pen down and rubbed your hands down the sides of your face.

“No... but you’re no help to me if you keep nodding off. Go take a nap and come back when you’re rested.” Levi said, waving you off, despite how badly he wanted you to stay.

“Mkay.” You sighed as you opened your eyes just a crack as you stood and grabbed your jacket off of the chair. Levi paused his work to watch you leave, but he was surprised when you only crossed the room and fell limply onto his love seat. He scoffed as you placed the jacket over your face and curled up into a fetal position. Levi tried in vain to refocus, but the sight of you napping made him surprisingly tired as well. He placed his pen down with a loud sigh and leaned back, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the warm sunlight streaming in from his window.

“Captain, come sit with me.” Your voice was gravely from sleep as you sat up and smiled at him. His heart did a backflip and then ran a mile around his chest at the sight of you in the sun, eyes half open as you looked at him a tad pleadingly.

“Move over.” He simply replied as he stood from the desk and crossed the room. He leaned down and moved your feet, sitting down where they once were. He sighed contently as he rested his arm over the back of the couch and stretched his legs out underneath the coffee table. He jumped when your feet fell onto his lap, his other hand reached instinctively to swat them off and you whimpered when he did so.

“Chill out Levi, it’s off the clock.” You mumbled as you sat up and shot him a playful smirk.

“Go back to sleep idiot.” He said, reaching up and shoving your head back down onto the sofa. You let out a strangled laugh at his actions and he felt his heart do another little flip at the sound. You sat up, hair mussed and eyes still foggy with sleep.

“Careful Levi, you wouldn’t want to get into another fight with me. We both remember how our last one turned out.” You teased, leaning forward and tapping the tip of his nose with your pointer finger. He scoffed in disbelief as you sat up and leaned back into the couch. He became hyper aware of how close you were now, your hand so close to his thigh that he could feel your pinky brushing the fabric of his pants.

“You got lucky. Next time I won’t underestimate you.” He said with another dramatic roll of his eyes.

“Ah so you admit that you would like a rematch?” You asked shuffling closer so your thigh pressed against his. He whipped his head to look away from you and hide his blush.

“E-Eventually.” He tried to cover his mild stutter by clearing his throat, if you had noticed, you didn’t comment on his flustered state.

“Just name the time and place, and I’ll be there.” You chuckled scooting away from him much to his disappointment.

After that afternoon Levi found himself almost desperately seeking your presence. Admittedly, he was hogging you, denying Hange from “borrowing” you for experiments, making up embarrassing excuses for you to stay later into the evenings. If you minded, you didn’t say anything. One particular evening Levi found that he had run out of excuses to keep you, and was about to dismiss you when you surprised him.

“Are you tired?” You asked, rather out of pocket as you leaned back on your heels from scrubbing his floor.

“Not one bit.” Levi said honestly, he knew that you were aware of his bad sleeping habits.

“Good, come with me.” You said, dropping the dirty rag in your hands back into the bucket. Levi was eager to follow you out of his office, which smelled of cleaning chemicals and lemons, as always. You led him through the empty corridors and out into the courtyard. You turned and started walking backwards so you could face him as you spoke.

“Up for a midnight ride?” You asked cheekily, Levi’s brow furrowed but he found the extra alone time with you all too enticing to pass up.

“I suppose...” He was abruptly cut off by your hand closing around his wrist, you dragged him the rest of the way to the stables. Levi went to get his tack, but you simply grabbed the reigns for your horse, you led the palomino out of her stall, Levi looked at you skeptically as he held his saddle and the blanket.

“No time for any of that, if we don’t hurry, we’ll miss it.” You said with a charming smile on your lips. Levi found himself foregoing the saddle like you had and just taking his reigns for his black mare. Once the two of you were ready you both spurred your horses into a light trot. Levi shifted uncomfortably, he had never ridden bareback, yet you looked more than natural in the uncomfortable position. You led the way, heading off into the woods behind HQ, the trail was narrow and a tad tedious, but it was a rather short ride. You stopped along the tree line, a wide field sprawling before you. The tall grass was glowing with fireflies, swaying in the summer breeze. A small creek was between the forest and the rest of the field.

“Shall we cross?” You asked, turning to him to gauge his reaction. He shrugged and shifted once more on his mare’s back.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” You giggled as you kicked your horse to move forward. Your own mare waded fearlessly into the water, crossing the stream in a few steps. Levi’s own mare was undaunted by the creek, Levi was another story, he pulled his feet up in an attempt to keep them dry as his mare splashed through the water. Once on the other side you dropped off of your horse and tied it to a nearby log. Levi followed your lead and tied up his horse as well. Once that was finished you beckoned for him to follow you once more. You led him through the tall grass, to a small clearing where the grass had been pressed down, clearly someone or something had been laying there.

“I come out here to think.” You explained as you fell onto your butt and patted the space beside you. The crickets and tree frogs sang in the background and Levi furrowed his brow but eventually sank down to sit next to you. Pleased with this, you laid the rest of the way back and looked up at the night sky.

“Seems a bit loud to be a thinking place.” Levi quipped as he leaned back on his hands and stretched his legs out.

“Hm maybe. Truthfully I don’t get much thinking done when I’m here. I just....sit.” You shrugged, eyes distant as you looked up at the stars.

“I see.” Levi wasn’t sure how to respond, but his head buzzed with thoughts, when did you come out here? Was it because he was overworking you? Why did you bring him out here? You rolled onto your side and reached out, gripping his wrist lightly, bringing his attention off of the sky and on to you.

“Hm?” He hummed wordlessly as he looked down at you with a raised brow.

“Lay with me?” You smiled a bit sheepishly and Levi felt his cheeks flare up at the sight of you bathed in moonlight, eyes wide and pleading, your mouth curled up into a knowing smile. He huffed, feigning frustration as he slumped the rest of the way into the grass and crossed his arms behind his head. He laid perfectly still, waiting to see what you would do next, he heard the sound of you shuffling closer, so that your head rested just below his arm, your side pressed against his own. It was clumsy and painfully awkward for a moment, as you waited for Levi to shuffle away or welcome you into his embrace. But he remained deathly still, and you knew that you would have to be the one to initiate the affection, not really a surprising discovery. You inhaled deeply as you steeled your nerves before you scooted up and rested your head on Levi’s bicep. You heard him suck in a deep breath as well. But he extended his arm and wrapped it around your shoulders after a tense moment. The frogs seemed to grow louder as you looked up at him, his head was craned down to look at you. His cheeks were flushed an adorable pink color, his brows furrowed still, his mouth was in a flat line as he looked down at you.

“What’s with the face?” you whispered, reaching a free hand up to gently tap his bruised nose.

“What face?” Levi grumbled, grabbing your wrist and holding it tightly in his grasp. You chuckled and opened your hand to rest it on his cheek, thumb grazing the soft skin on his face.

“That one.” You giggled as you shuffled impossibly closer and leaned up so that your breaths mingled. Levi lifted his chin a bit, he had never kissed someone before, something that he was very self conscious about. But you seemed to take this in stride as you propped yourself up on your elbow, his arm that you had been laying on quickly wrapped around your waist as you leaned over him. The stars disappeared behind your face as you smiled down at him, hair curtaining over him as you leaned in once more. This time he remained still, the warmth of your breath on his lips once more, His eyes abandoned yours in favor of looking at your lips, which were opened slightly as you tilted your head to the side. A soft chuckle escaped you as you hovered over his mouth with yours.

“I hope...that I’m not crossing any boundaries.” You were so close to him now that when you spoke, your lips grazed his. Levi had never wanted to kiss someone as badly as he wanted to kiss you in this moment.

“Shut up and-”

“And what captain? Kiss you?” You teased, and he blushed impossibly harder, you could tell he was flustered based off of the way his cheek burned under your open palm.

“Yes...” He mumbled after a moment of silence. You let out another airy laugh before leaning down and planting your lips on his. You gently took his bottom lip between your own and he timidly returned the kiss. You sighed at the feeling of his returned affections and Levi was sure that his heart was going to explode as you relaxed into him once more. After a moment you pulled away and smiled dazzlingly at him, the moonlight did wonders for your complexion, casting you in an ethereal glow. He knew now that he needed to see you in the first rays of light to confirm his theory: That no matter what time of day, you always looked impossibly beautiful.

“What are you thinking about?” You quizzed, leaning down and pecking a kiss to his lips before he could answer.

“I’m thinking-” another kiss, this time to the corner of his mouth.

“that it’s-” this time you placed a kiss just below his earlobe.

“C-Can you stop?” He stuttered as he turned and avoided you planting another kiss behind his ear.

“Mmm fine.” You pouted, but buried your face into his neck, waiting for him to finish his sentence from earlier.

“I said: I’m thinking that it’s almost daybreak.” He finished, pointing up at the sky, which was turning pink along the eastern side of the field. You groaned and nuzzled further into his neck.

“Then let’s ride back and go to sleep. It’s Sunday after all, we can sleep in.” you mumbled, placing an open mouthed kiss to his collar bone. His hand fell back onto your back, he could feel your muscles flex as you rolled the rest of the way on top of him, resting your full weight on his stomach.

“You’ll need to get off of me for that to happen.” He huffed as his other hand left your wrist to push you playfully off of his stomach. You moaned pitifully as you fell back onto the damp grass.

“So tragic.” You said as Levi stood and brushed the grass off of his plain clothes. You finally got to your feet and did the same, eager to ride back and go to bed.

The two of you made it back before sunrise, the sky turning pinker by the minute. After you had put your horses away you both hurried back up to his office, where his private quarters was attached. Levi kicked his boots off and you did as well, not wanting to dirty his floor that you both spent so much time cleaning. He lifted the covers for you and you dove beneath them, Levi laid down next to you and you cuddled up close, looking up with those soft eyes of yours. His nose was still purple and had a small bandage covering his cut. You leaned up and planted a gentle kiss to the tip of it before pulling away.

“Next time I won’t go easy on you.” You teased breath fanning over his lips once more. Levi huffed and angled his head impatiently seeking your mouth. You chuckled and met him halfway, closing your mouth over his with another satisfied sigh.

In the end, Levi got what he wanted. You fell asleep in his bed, bathed in the morning light, curled into his side as he felt sleep overcoming him. This was the first time that you stayed with him the entirety of the night, and Levi was determined to never spend a night alone again.

___

PLEASE. I’M SO VERY SOFT FOR LEVI RN.

I already read the manga and I can’t bring myself to watch the last two episodes, I’m not mentally stable enough for that right now. So this is how I cope. 💁‍♀️

#levi x y/n #levi x reader #levi reader insert #snk levi #levi ackerman #levi aot #levi fanfiction #levi ackerman fanfiction #soft levi #so fluffy #this was so sweet it gave me a cavity #levi fluff #aot #aot fanfiction #aot fandom #reader instert #fanfic #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you

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swanqueensalad · 3 years

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ignore this if it’s too much, but since you’re in a sad regina meta mood, what are your thoughts on the time she fell off her castle balcony?

ooooh anon you do know how to keep my sad regina meta mood alive! thanks for the ask, i am always too willing to share my sad regina thoughts.

in fact, this is most likely going to be very long and rambly and off topic because i have Too Many sad regina thoughts

(obviously, this post will contain discussion of suicide/suicidal ideation and all of the other stuff that goes with regina's trauma so if any of that will trigger you please don't read!)

so first of all, i think the context is super important - i know obviously the evil queen was regina at her absolute worst and lowest point, but i do think young regina pre-evil queen was actually the darkest and hardest part of her life, and it's one the ouat writers seemed to consistently hint at but almost be afraid to really delve into too much? but i for one find it incredibly interesting.

(just saying, the ouat writers were cowards. but also i do understand that a fairytale show on abc couldn't really go too dark.)

you have this very young girl - we know she got married at 18 and very little seems to have actually changed for her at this point (she is still not really seen as a Queen, she's even wearing the same dress she wore before her wedding) so i'd put her at 19/20 at the very OLDEST in this specific episode - who has no agency and no allies, apart from the weak-willed father that enabled all her abuse and rumplestiltskin, the literal dark one, who is grooming and manipulating her into becoming so mentally fucked up she will cast his curse for him.

she has nobody. and she is still pretty traumatised from all her childhood abuse and her grief and trauma over literally watching her mother murder the love of her life - none of which she has ever had the space or support to process.

and now she is literally trapped in this big empty castle that doesn't belong to her, married to a man visibly the same age as her father who is cold towards her at Best, forced to 'mother' a girl maybe 8 years younger than her (who is intrinsically tied up in all said suffering and trauma).

all she has is the literal dark one who is grooming her for his own gain. all she has is this magic, which gives her a sense of control and power she has literally never had before in her life, but also still makes her terrified that she'll lose control/end up like her mother.

regina is stuck in this state for a long, long time. all she ever wanted was to be free and loved, and she has become stuck in the opposite of those in every way. she is miserable and alone, trapped in a seemingly never ending cycle of suffering.

(side note: anyone who tries to tell me leopold didn't lay a hand on her is kidding themselves. old men don't marry pretty eighteen year old girls for their conversation. especially not when they are visibly distressed by the proposal. if he wanted a 'mother' for snow, well, snow's more age-appropriate maid seemed to be doing a good job at that anyway, and even if it had to be regina, he could have just brought her to court as a lady in waiting or something - he did not have to marry her. he chose to. no apologies for shitty men on My blog thank u v much)

so anyway

poor lost regina at this point is so torn - she wants to not hurt people (except maybe snow) and when rumple taunts her about the darkness not stopping until it's finished devouring her, she is visibly upset and panicked, wanting to run away. but of course, she has nowhere to go and nobody to help her. she both wants and dreads seeing rumple's plans for her through.

so i think, honestly, it's not too much of a stretch to say she had probably already had some harmful thoughts about herself. about an escape from all of it.

and that conversation with rumple really rattles her - he knew exactly how to get under her skin and make her need him even more - and the way she storms right onto her balcony afterwards shows just how emotional she really is.

when she starts hitting the railings, i don't think she was actively intending to jump/fall, she's just momentarily lost in all that pain and rage.

however. in that moment, i don't think she cared much either way. the railing started coming loose, and she kept hitting it. she didn't make any move to step back. so while i don't think she was actively trying to hurt herself, i think she didn't care much if it happened anyway.

and then only when tink saves her does regina realise what she did and how careless she was about it, which then freaks her out.

(and is then why she's so insistent the rest of the episode that she fell - and also why perceptive tink is having none of it - 'right. you... fell.')

#anyway sorry this is depressing lol but it's literally in the ask #and thanks anon #u know i love to get in my sad regina feelings #regina mills meta #regina mills #young regina

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thekitschdiet · 3 years

Text

the kitsch diet part II

part one alr posted!! this chunk is about 3,000~ words long... let me know what u think :-) thank u all for all the luv already!!! looks like I really will hit 31 followers by easter!!!!!!!!

Who is the Kitsch Girl?

I think this is more loosely defined, but The Chic Diet did a truly admirable way of reducing a girl to her YSL bag and her really skinny legs. Now, that implies an archetype, or a population in a specific location. I think kitschness is kind of the niche you fill when you’re not really much of anything else, sort of your own conglomerate of mainstream-specific. One major requirement, though, is being a little too into something somewhat uncool. And the whole illusion falls apart if you have any sort of outward insecurity. See, the Kitsch Girl is somewhat undefinable because she is so much of everything. She exists in multitudes, in a way that is also quite simple to understand; think of a list of axioms, or principles to live by. And now add a section to each one that says “but…” to make a collection of verified exceptions. Say, the kitsch girl will never wear jeans. But she thrifted this pair of vintage flares she just loves. She doesn’t reply to texts efficiently, but sometimes she will within a couple seconds. No mascara, no dinner forks, candles are to be collected not burned; but that was a gift, or something. It’s not personal, of course, those are just the contradictions she exists in. Don’t try to understand it, the enigma is essential to the facade. Or maybe she just lives like this, and her character is so homogenous with her inner world there’s no sense in trying to separate it. You have to have a little bit of an individuality complex about the whole ordeal, which is normally so eugh, but if you’re kitschy enough it works on you. Trust!The Kitsch girl is not someone unlikeable, but amiable and well heeled. I double checked that last one, assuming it meant liked by most, but apparently means affluent. I suppose that is an aspect of the kitsch girl too, having seemingly endless frivolous expenses with no real strain, but that’s not important right now. People that don’t like her think so out of jealousy, or something. Envious that her clothes are all kind of shake-it-up-esque and her highlights desperately need touching up, but she still seems so enthralled with the whole of life… How does she enjoy her own company so much when other people want to know her better? Doesn’t she feel weird about blowing people off to make a joke about reading Kafka in the bath? Why would she document her cluttered, unexciting life on Instagram so delicately, so vibrantly? Of course, no one would say this to her face because they are really baseless claims. She’s nice, generous, and valuable to have as a friend. Trade-offs exist, as they do with anyone. But I like thinking it’s easier to overlook a forgotten birthday when your kitschy best friend gave you a multi strand pearl necklace to celebrate the welcome breeze of June. Or some other made-up holiday. She is so unassuming if you’re not really looking. Girls want in on her inner circle. Or they just don’t care. Nothing wrong with being liked or thought of naught, for the most part. Boys are either enthralled or repulsed by her. Her doctor knows her as something of a hypochondriac, but only minorly. It’s just carpal tunnel, don’t worry… The sales staff at CVS turn a blind eye when she slips an eyeliner pencil into her tote bag. She shoplifts on occasion, just to see if she still knows how. But she is not a shoplifter. $9 here and $6.45 there doesn’t really add up to much. Everywhere she goes, she makes a tertiary friend or two. The term of friend is loosely used here, of course. But it is nice to tell a stranger you like her earrings. Or her phone case is so fun, is it Wildflower? The kitsch girl has an eye for this kind of detail. Simply put, she is sort of unspectacular. But in a way that makes you sort of wish you knew her better.

Phone cases

The phone case is, like, religious for the kitsch girl. Sorry, but there’s just no other accessory as flippant and expensive and single-purpose as a trendy little iPhone case with some semitacky stickers plastered over the design. I used to have an iPhone XS- extrasmall- with like, 18 phone cases. It was kind of a sordid affair. I jest, but really… owning that many phone cases was kind of sick. We get it, you are frivolous and spontaneous and sooo stylish! Stop posting mirror selfies on your Instagram story, your crush isn’t going to see it. Kidding again. Having an extensive collection of phone cases is just so fun because while attainable, most people just simply do not partake in it. That makes you kitschy and unique. I really thought I had more to say about the IDEA of the phone case, but I guess in practice it is all very, very simple. You can slide your driver’s license in the back of a clear case. At what point does it stop being cool to have legal operational control of a vehicle? I don’t display mine because I don’t really like the photo. I look round. In the eyes but also just in general, swollen, unglamorous. Whatever. Not like I drive a Nissan or anything. I drive my *Mom’s* Nissan. Playing Bladee in the car seems sacrilegious. She would hate it.Back to phone cases. Sonix ones are cute but kind of overpriced retail- unless you have like, an iPhone 12 Pro Max or whatever the fuck is new this year, just go to Winner’s. They always have Xs and 11 cases. I had a cherry one for my previous phone, like the exact one Lana Del Rey had? Thank god I sold it before she got outed as a copfucker or whatever. Casetify is for an inadvertent flex. Flexing your lame, lame taste. Sorry, I know you bought it because you liked it, but what you failed to consider is just how un-Kitsch they are. SO common, and they advertise on Instagram. Sorry, I just can’t get into it! Kind of how I just never liked the Brandy Amara tanks. Or lowtop converse. Otterbox is just distressing. Like, if my boyfriend gave me an otterbox phone case I would probably break up with him because somebody clearly isn’t paying attention- one of my favorite, potentially overused joke is how Otterbox cases are the equivalent of orthopedic insoles. Sorry but if you have poor arch support or whatever, but no pain is worth giving up a good pair of Margiela slingback tabi heels. Obviously I couldn’t afford that right now because all loose income goes directly to Wildflower and my cig boy. But like, one day. I hope you want to punch me in the face a little bit after reading that. If Wildflower isn’t your thing, at least have the decency to get a beaded phone strap. But not from String Ting. Pray tell you aren’t keeping score, but they are one of my several parasocial enemies. That should have been ME collaborating with Wildflower! Should have been ME mailing shit to Caroline Calloway (more on her later, but she is the only blue check I follow. I adore her! I was on her patreon for a bit I thinkl!!) …. Side note. Phone cases are cute but there is no way to properly protect your laptop without looking just absurd or colossally lame. The foam sleeves… ick.

Having the shittiest music taste ever

So like, here’s the thing. I’m an Apple Music user, which sort of reinstates my status as an unironic My Bloody Valentine Hyperpop Death Grips kinda gal. Read; volcel. My most recent conquest ended up being a huge L on my part, but also… I totally dodged a bullet. The guy had an iPhone 11 (female trait) and didn’t know who Rei Brown was, which just seemed suspicious given his Niche. I just know he had a “making out playlist” comprising entirely of like, Joji. Which isn’t a bad thing I guess but so unembarrassing it horseshoes back to being humiliating.Like I said. Having the worst music taste. It’s nice how subjective and deeply personal your music taste can be; no one really Needs to know you’re a die hard drainer. But there’s also no point in being a die-hard drainer and Not capitalizing off it somehow. I added it up and I have well over 150 hours of just Bladee and Yung Lean. Which is so yass? The more I write, using myself as a case study, I realize just how desperately jobless I am. And Yogenfruz isn’t even hiring! UGH!I think there is something very kitschy about liking hyperpop in the least ironic, least obnoxious way. Sort of feeds into a “I’m not like other girls” thing, but I mean… That’s kind of the idea of kitsch, isn’t it? Be a little different but also the very same as your lipgloss brethren?!Side note. If you make monthly playlists I am genuinely kind of afraid of you. That is just so organized!! I just make playlists with esoteric titles and then make a new one when I’m sick of the stuff on the last. I have exhausted most genres but I think my favorite is the “I’m wearing f****ng air forces and my teeth are SO white”. Guess what genre it is. Or don’t, but it’s probably what you think is. Okay, moving on….

Curating a scent

I like thinking I smell like mango and peach, Glossier you, whatever citrus is in that Lush shower jelly and mint 5Gum. But of course it is probably less distinct and just kind of generally fruit-floral-mint. Anyway. I think Glossier You is the perfect scent for anyone with a rather elementary understanding of the whole.. Perfume business. Every bottle of intentional fragrance I own was made via aesthetic choices… it really helps that Glossier You is so cute And so universal. Now, Glossier is kind of interesting to me because it really is at the intersection of cheugy and kitsch. Kind of basic, overplayed, unspectacular. But also…. Often popular things are popular because they are good. Glossier has excellent customer suurv, they ship SO fast (and no import duties! W!) and their stuff is just so sweet and nice if not unoriginal, in kind of the same way strawberry ice cream is. Which is still my favorite, of course, especially if there’s a vegan option. I was talking about Glossier. What the hell! It’s really worth trying out. A huge principle of kitsch is just… having as many possible layers and appendages to your composure as possible. And adding a signature scent just really completes that! When curating your own, I say this as a complete amateur, know-nothing; make it something that comes kind of naturally to Your Character. Like, I’m just not a Chanel No 5 kind of girl. Odds are you aren’t either. My bottle (before she asked for it back when I told her I didn’t use it, in exchange for a Nordstrom’s gift card) was from my grandmother. Ummm.. Yeah, I really have no expertise in curating a scent. But it is nice to have a signature. And having a bottle displayed on your dresser next to your aughties McDonald milkshake themed beanie baby and a handful of lip products is just way too fun! This is the kind of girl I am, everyone! Cluttered, but prioritizing pretty-delicate things!

Cheugyism

Cheugy is a relatively new word that has unfortunately wormed into my vocabulary to replace “uncouth”. Which I use to mean graceless or tacky, but if that isn’t what it means…. Don’t tell me. That would hurt more than weighing myself after a “feast” slash pastry binge at my dear Grandmothe’s house. Like I was saying. Cheugy. It’s sort of a fucked up concept to me because it is a critique on consumption, but not the pace or volume or magnitude of it. But rather… the idea of not being “good” enough at engaging in microtrends, or involvement in the fast paced fashion cycle. Don’t get me started on TikTok, or do, but… yeah,. No. That will require a cigarette because I’m so sorry, but writing a thinkpiece on social media is so lowbrow I would need to find about six ways to aesthetically counteract it…. Moving on. I think the idea of cheugy is good, we really do need a word to simply and efficiently define “out of date/uninspired/lame”. But the way it is used to shame others for not liking the same trends or whatever is kind of gross. If you use cheugyism to put other people down and not as a neutral identifier umm… you will become what you fear. Sorry, that’s what happens. Some things that I think are cheugy or embarrassing, or just not part of my stylistic lexicon are… 1. Hooded or zip up clothing, or things with a large graphic on the back. Bingo if it's all three! I just can’t get behind it. Side note, my summer home outfit is brandy sweats and a tube top (Urban Outfitters tank I ripped the straps off) and a large cardigan that should have belonged to a stoner, but probably didn’t. I can dunk on bulky, uninspired clothes because I would honest to God NEVER be caught DEAD out of the house wearing any of it. I’m so serious. Next segment should be about the kitsch girl’s inadvertent affinity for diuretics. Remind me….. One of the ports of my laptop is dead. Not really sure what to do about that.

Eye makeup and what it means to me….

Personally, I am one of those people who never wears foundation and kind of has a complex about it. The kitsch girl wears fluffy eyelashes and owns a plethora of sparkly eyeliner. Or maybe she doesn’t, but she has something distinct and a little ritzy, if not haphazard. We all saw Euphoria and it like, totally imprinted on us. The way glitter sits on your face after a long day is so resplendent. When it’s shining and a little bit melted off from your long, semi-productive day… ugh! Just made for film. Pictures on film. But not the Prequel app. I keep getting fucking ads for it. But it’s so embarrassing. Like, isn’t the whole point of film the authenticity of the moment? The texture of the afternoon? Why would you fabricate that? Prequel is just so cheugy. More on that later. But anyhow. Wearing a ton of eye makeup kind of fits with the idea of film too I think. Like, look at you, in the moment. With your strip lash falling off! It’s all so tres-chic. Plus, for whatever reason, it’s kind of unique or notably dedicated to ~Pull up to the function~ with more eye makeup on than everyone else. Sorry, but it really doesn’t take that long! But yes I will gracefully accept your praise… it’s kind of like the dropshipping of complements if you think about it. Easy to source with little to no effort in the curating. Side note, lashes are like $20 for 40 weeks if you cut them in half and use each pair about 5 times. You could probably do more but I lose track. How the fuck is it almost June? I was trudging through the snow to check the mail for my Online Ceramics shirt just last week, I swear. The trick to cutting your lashes (the way I do it anyway) is pretty simple. Get out two lashes that are symmetrical. Find the middle and cut one slightly to the left and one slightly to the right. This means you have two sets (one set is a little more dramatic than the other but at least they are symmetrical) with longer outer edges. Glue this to the outer corner of your eye and you will look so Composed… obsessed with how this layers with three eyeliner tails (one traditional one pointing up and one pointing down directly below it, sort of like the tail light on a 2019 Lexus UX) and one below your eye, like a clown. Fun, irrelevant fact, is the first time I added this third tail to my eye makeup, my dad had just gotten home from the hospital because he was sure he had like appendicitis or something and it was actually.. Not that. Typical indie hypochondriac. He made me bring him cottage cheese on a plate with a teaspoon that evening. I put black pepper on it for flair, which he hated. Walking up and down stairs with a plate of cottage cheese is much more imprinting than most of the multiplication tables. Don’t forget to use a bright shimmer eyeshadow in your inner corner. It really opens up your eyes. I recommend Too Faced. One time I got a little bit too high and tried to film an “editorial” makeup tutorial. You will never, ever, ever see that video. But I essentially covered my whole eyelid in the ABH shadow “palermo” and smudged out the edges with a tan Tartelette Toasted shade, coupled with my long-expired Milk Makeup holographic stick. Lopsided lashes and near-blinding eyeliner experience aside, it was kind of cool. My point is, you really cannot go wrong with an arsenal of shimmers, taupey mattes and a good eyeliner pen.

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floorbe · 4 years

Text

Kiyotaka Ishimaru x Reader “Dance With Me”

Warning(s): angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, cheesy. very, very cheesy

Summary: You comfort Taka after someone insults him at prom... and also end up accidentally confessing to him. Cool!

Pairing(s): romantic Kiyotaka x reader, implied Mondo x Chihiro

A/N: reader is gender neutral! this is... kinda very self indulgent so bear with me if its ooc lol... I just could not stop thinking abt hnnngh taka kisse at prom... also happy bday to Taka I love u

Fandom: Danganronpa, Non-despair AU

Word count: 2,663

You flop into your seat at your prom table with a heavy sigh. The flashing lights disrupting the otherwise dark room around you make you close your eyes for just a moment to reinvigorate yourself. You came to prom with your friends Mondo, Chihiro, and Taka. Only with them. Unfortunately, no one had asked you to the dance. Not that you didn’t want to go with your friends, but it would’ve been nice to have a date... (...Okay, that’s a bit of a lie, because you only wanted to be asked by one specific person. One specific person with one specific pair of stunning red eyes. Anyone else you would’ve politely rejected. But still!)

Taking a sip of your water, your eyes wander back to the dance floor that you’d just left in favor of taking a break. You easily find your friends, Mondo with his large stature and inky black suit stood out quite well, and while his hair isn’t in its usual pompadour tonight (he’d pulled it back into a ponytail, claiming the sweat from dancing would make his hair droop, and that’s not tough looking) he’s still easy to pick out from the crowd. Matching him is Chihiro, though much smaller, wearing a similarly dark green suit. In stark contrast dancing next to the two, however, is Taka, wearing his usual knee high boots, however this time coupled with a pure white suit.

You laugh quietly at the sight of the three dancing awkwardly together. Despite the awkwardness, you have to hand it to Mondo and Taka. For how stiff their dance moves are there certainly is passion behind them, and it’s only proven when Taka almost elbows someone behind him in the face from how viciously he swings his arm. You let your eyes stay on Taka for much longer than necessary, smiling to yourself as it seems like he challenges Mondo to a dance off.

You rarely ever get to see Taka let go of his usually strict behavior, and while he still has kept order in the dance for people who were breaking rules, you could tell he was still loosening up and actually having fun. Your smile easily breaks into a grin as you watch him attempt to do the robot, and you’re only vaguely aware of how fast and loud your heart seems to beat while looking at him, hastily blaming it on the intense dancing you’d just done.

That’s easily proven as a lie, however, when your heart jumps as Taka suddenly locks eyes with you, smiling widely and waving. You intake sharply and wave back, ignoring the obvious fluttering in your heart and the sudden shakiness in your hand. Taka turns back to his dance competition, but it seems Mondo is more interested in sending you a smug grin, making you stick out your tongue at him. He laughs, and you swear you can hear it over the booming music.

You continue to sip your drink as a few more song pass, occasionally grabbing a cookie from your plate to nibble on as you enjoy the eager atmosphere. As the current upbeat song comes to end, you feel a nervousness climb into your throat as the next song is revealed to be a slow dance. While you weren’t expecting anyone to ask you, you still couldn’t help how awkward you felt watching all of the couples dance when you didn’t have anyone... though the few people trickling back to their tables alone did give you comfort.

You instinctively find your friends again, wondering if they’ll be heading back to join you until the next upbeat song. You’re surprised to find Mondo awkwardly offering his hand to Chihiro for a dance, and you can’t help the grin that spreads across your face as they relax into a close embrace to sway along to the song. This time it’s you that gives Mondo the smug grin, and he just scowls at you before he jerks his head towards Taka, wiggling his eyebrows. You scrunch up your nose, shaking your head as he rolls his eyes and focuses back on Chihiro, who’s giggling at the exchange.

You unwillingly find Taka’s figure in the crowd, curiosity overtaking the fear of seeing him dancing with someone else. He isn’t, surprisingly, but it does seem like he’s talking to someone... who then turns away from him as he looks away, seemingly embarrassed. Did he just get rejected for a dance...? You can’t help the agitation that sparks in you at the thought of someone rejecting him. Even if you were slightly jealous at the thought of someone else dancing with him, he doesn’t deserve to be rejected. You watch as he takes a deep breath and turns to someone else near him who’s standing alone.

“Excuse me,” you’re torn from your focus on Taka by a new voice. You turn to them curiously, cocking your head as you recall it’s someone you’ve almost never seen before. Maybe in one of your classes? “Do you want to dance with me?” he smiles kindly, and you almost take up his offer with a smile before your eyes catch Taka walking quickly out of the room, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

You squint in confusion, trying to find the person he was just talking to, only to find them laughing with someone else, sparing glances at where Taka was leaving. “I’m sorry,” you turn back to him, “I have to go check on my friend.” His eyes flick to where you were looking at Taka and he nods understandingly, backing away with a kind wave.

You quickly make your way out of the dance room, searching for Taka’s familiar figure. You catch a glimpse of him retreating into a more secluded hallway and immediately go after him, worry gnawing at your gut.

You hear him before you see him, quiet sniffles and muffled sobs into his hands as he presses his forehead against the wall. You softly call out his name, making him jump in surprise and jerk his head to you. He quickly turns away again, almost hiding himself away from you as he curls in on himself more.

“Hey,” you make your way over to him, placing a hand on his back to rub it soothingly, “Hey, Taka, what’s wrong?” You slide your hand from his back to his shoulder, gently nudging at it to make him turn to face you. He lets you turn him, still choking back sobs as his watery eyes meet yours. “Oh,” you murmur, tugging him into a hug, “Come here, it’s okay.”

Any resolve he had to pull himself together for you crumbles as he nearly collapses into your arms, sobbing heavily into your shoulder. You wrap your arms around him as he clings to you, clutching the fabric of your outfit as he pulls himself as close to you as possible. His shoulders shake as he buries his face further into you, gasping in between sobs. You hold him tightly, murmuring “it’s okay”s’ and “I’m here”s’ whenever his sobs seem to get especially intense.

His sobs slowly start to ease up, turning into quiet hiccups as he calms down. You continue to silently soothe him as his once violently shaking form settles into mere trembling against you. You don’t let go of him, you don’t even loosen you grip as he stops sobbing, and he doesn’t dare pull away from you. You both stay in the comforting embrace as he shakily finds the composure to explain.

“I-I...” he trails off, swallowing back more tears as he hiccups once more, “I asked someone to d-dance with m-me- but th-they-...” He cuts off, gripping you tighter as he tries to collect himself to finish the sentence. “Th-they said that everyone w-would stare, and that d-dancing with m-me would just b-be an embarrassment,” his voice breaks mid sentence, and you can feel his chest heave as he struggles to choke back more sobs.

Anger sparks deep within you. An embarrassment? Taka is the sweetest person you know, how could they even dare say that to him? Swallowing thickly, you take a deep breath. Now’s not the time to blow up at them, not with Taka so broken in your arms.

“Taka,” you start softly, “They don’t know what they’re talking about. Dancing with you wouldn’t be an embarrassment. You’re one of the sweetest people I know, anyone would be lucky to dance with you.”

“I-it’s alright, Y/N, you don’t have to-”

“No, I mean it. You’re one of the most amazing people I know, Kiyotaka,” you state firmly, and you can feel his hold on you tighten ever so slightly, “You’re- you’re so passionate and kind and caring- everything you do you put your full heart into it, y’know? And I-I just-” You cut off as Taka pulls away to look at you, fumbling over your words as you see the look of tearful wonder on his face at your passionate words.

Swallowing thickly, you’re suddenly aware of just how close you two are (and how his arms are still wrapped around you and vice versa... when did it get so hot in this hallway?), stuttering as you watch his deep red eyes flick between yours.

“I-I- sorry, I’m a little tongue tied,” you try to play off your flustered state, averting your gaze. “I-I’m not used to... I’m a little embarrassed,” you realize your mistake as soon as it leaves your mouth, and you snap your eyes back to his to see them fill with tears again.

He starts to unwind his arms from around you, uttering a quiet, “Oh, I-I’m sorry...”

You’re quick to tug him back to into your arms, frantically trying to explain, “No, no, Taka, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like- like that, I-” You take a deep breath to collect yourself as he tensely rests his chin on your shoulder, arms only loosely wrapped around you from when he tried to pull away. “I-I guess flustered would be a better word?”

“...Flustered?” he asks quietly, and you can imagine the way he’s furrowing his eyebrows.

“Yes,” you agree quickly, not thinking as you try to correct yourself, “Li-like- embarrassed is more shameful, but flustered in this situation implies more romantic... tones...” you trail off, heart jumping in fear as you realize what you’d just confessed. You feel him stiffen as he processes what you said, and when he pulls away you’re nervously avoiding his gaze.

“Wh-... do- r-romantic?” he sputters, and if you weren’t looking at the floor you’d see his face flushing intensely, “Do... do you really feel that way?”

“U-uh,” you unclasp your arms from around him, instead fiddling with your hands, “W-well, uh... Y-yes?” He’s silent for a few moments, and your face feels like it’s on fire. You really had to confess to him, didn’t you? You try to swallow the newfound lump in your throat, “U-um, I’m sorry, we can just pretend I didn’t-”

“No!” his voice is louder than either of you expected, making you both jump. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to be so loud... I-I just... I feel the same,” he admits shyly.

“Really?” you ask, bashfully looking back at him. He nods stiffly, a small smile spreading across his face.

He seems to finally realize how he’s still holding you, for his face gets redder as he lets you go, “Sorry, I didn’t realize-”

You wrap your arms around his neck, drawing him in yet again for another hug, “No, no, it’s fine.” You sigh contently as he shakily returns the hug, taking a moment before speaking again with a grin, “Do you want to dance with me?”

He pulls away to look at you, unsure, “...Even if people stare?”

“Let them,” you say immediately, “I’ll let everyone stare if it means I get to dance with you.” You hear him intake sharply and you laugh quietly, “S-sorry, was that too cheesy?”

He shakes his head, smiling widely “...No, not at all.”

“Good,” you murmur, though neither of you make any signs of moving. You’re once again reminded of how close you two are when his nose just barely brushes against yours. You almost instinctively tilt your head as his eyes begin to droop shut. You feel his breath fan across your lips as you almost close the distance, eyes finally closing as you feel his lips just barely ghost against your own. Your lips tingle with anticipation, and you’re about to finally close the gap when-

“Yo, you two back h-?” Jerking your heads away from each other, your’s and Taka’s heads snap to find Mondo at the end of the hallway, looking thoroughly surprised. “Oh, shit, sorry,” he grins teasingly, “Nice, bro!”

“B-bro!” Taka shouts, embarrassed. You groan, covering your face with your hands as you try futilely to hide yourself in Taka’s chest. You smile from beneath your hands as he tugs you closer to himself.

“Sorry, bro, I’ll leave you two be,” Mondo laughs, “Chihiro and I will be at our table.” You hear his laughter fade quickly, likely rushing to find Chihiro and spread the news.

Leaving your hands to rest on his shoulders, you raise your head to look at Taka again, only to find him already looking at you. He tenses slightly as you catch him, stuttering awkwardly, “W-we should get back to bro and Chihiro.”

“Y-yeah,” you nod, but you stop him from moving away when he tries, earning a noise of confusion from him, furrowing his eyebrows at you. “But first-” you lean closer to him again, sliding one of your hands up to cup his face as his eyes widen. “Maybe we should...?” you give him time to pull away as you lightly brush your lips against his, looking at him curiously as he leans in just a fraction closer, only to halt.

"I-I’ve never- um...”

“That’s okay,” you murmur, smiling reassuringly. You slowly press your lips against his, pulling away slightly as he tenses. His eyes almost squeeze shut as he shakily connects your lips again, gradually melting into you as you stroke his cheek with your thumb soothingly. You take it slow, gently moving in sync with him as he lets himself sink into the kiss, bringing up a hand to gently cup your cheek.

When you separate you hear him sigh shakily, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek as if thanking you. You smile adoringly at him, unravelling yourself from him to guide him back into the dance room, fingers laced as you come back just as another slow song begins. You easily lead him onto the dance floor, squeezing his hand reassuringly as he nervously looks at the people around you two.

You bring him close to you, whispering to ignore everyone else and focus on you, to which he smiles and breathes out a thank you as you begin to sway with him. You can see tears shimmering in his eyes as he dances with you, smile growing wider as you grin at him. It’s awkward, with you two stumbling over the other’s feet, or accidentally bumping heads as you lean too close, but it’s endearing, because it’s Taka.

And you’re sure he feels the same, for whenever you two stumble or trip, he always ends up laughing with you at the easy mistake, even despite the blush on his cheeks.

Even when the music changes to a more upbeat song, and when Mondo and Chihiro join you and you all end up forming a strange dance square around each other, his eyes still are mostly on you, and yours on him. Chihiro and Mondo seem to occasionally exchange knowing looks at this, and Mondo even claps Taka on the shoulder, much to his embarrassment.

But as your eyes glide over all three of them to land on Taka awkwardly attempting to do the sprinkler, you decide you wouldn’t have it any other way.

#kiyotaka ishimaru x reader #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa scenarios #kiyotaka ishimaru #danganronpa #thh

146 notes · View notes

10boys · 4 years

Text

MLQC : Smothering

♡ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡

*aka , a boobie face dive !

Victor :

-Its only the softest of Victors that will act so shamelessly vulnerable to you

-You’re sitting on his lap with your arms around his neck as his hands caress the soft skin of your exposed thighs. You had a day off and decided to visit him on his lunch break at his office

-A few hours before on a quick phone call asking his permission to visit (he’s a busy guy) his usual sharp tounge was much diluted. He gave quick but vauge reassuring statement that he was just a bit stressed and had a lot on his plate for the week; risky decisions, rocky investments, many many under developed plans, all under the responsibility of himself.

-You know your smart and strong victor will get through it somehow, just like he always does, but thats not always an easy side to see when you’re experiencing it in first person. You just wanted to give him a moment to be vulnerable, relaxed, and securly cared for, something he’s constantly deprived of in his CEO role.

-As you pull his face closer and closer for cuddles , he relaxes his head and leans it into your shoulder. You stroke his hair leaving random kisses whenever you get the urge.

-There isnt much talking, just the two of you appreciateing each others warming presence

-The hand once on your thigh has risen to completely hold you in his arms, locking you in place.

-You take this as an invention to hug him tighter, elongating your body until his head finally falls into the perfect spot

-He lets out a small huff-like chuckle, letting you know he’s onto your shenanigans.

-“Feeling better already i see ?” You giggle into his hair while circling your finger around his ear, tracing patterns down his neck.

-“ ...m..dummy”

-His harsh words are very opposing to his actions. His grip around your waist becomes tighter as he burrows himself deeper into his personal pillow

-The comfort and warmth wraps his mind in pink hearts, allowing him to forget his pressing struggles and stress. Being near you is like a sip of wine to him , sensualizing and god damn intoxicating

-He’ll slowly move his face back and forth, in and out, up and down, until he finally realses a small groan of satisfaction

-Being a accomplice to his healing feels amazing, but the current undivided attention to you and your breast is indescribable

-He’ll stay like that for a while, just pushing and rubbing against you...

-He can’t allow himself to get too wired up at work though , this is only his lunch break after all

-The slight shift in his pants once he feels your nipples begin to harden against his face knocks him out of his trance

-“ahh I can’t do this now”

-He doesn’t move, just turns his head and leasurly lays on them for the remainder of his break

-At home though? Boyyyyyy

-Your low V-neck shirt would have been pulled down immediately to expose yourself to him, breast spilling out resembling a 4 course meal

-Victor prefers his hands to your breasts though, he loves to grope and toy with your nipples. He doesn’t have a good view to watch your reaction to him if hes face-deep

Lucien :

-HE is a looker

-We’re all very familiar with his intense gaze stairing problem

-You’re both sitting upright on opposite sides of the plush floor matt in his reading room, pillows densely outline the edges for support and comfort while you two peacefully enjoy each other’s company

-Well, you were

- Just as you’re turning the page of one of the novels you found laying near by, you see a pair of familiar black pupils from above the pages

-You lower the book to better see the man glaring absolute holes into you. The corners of his lips lift into seemingly innocent smile, the smile that softens his whole face, thins out his eyes, and hides his much more vulgar intentions.

-“Can i help you sir ?” You playfully spat trying to hide the gentle blush creeping onto your cheeks

-Your remark seems to have caught him off guard, but he quickly fixes his face. He lowers his book and gently places it to the side, his thin black-framed glasses following suit.

-“Actually...” his tall thin frame is crawling twords you, you feign resistance, lightly kicking your legs to keep him away. His large strong hands grasp them immediately, keeping them in place long enough for him to slip himself in.

-And now there he is, layed on top of you with his head under the arms thats still holding your book whata attention whore.

-His head rests on your lower stomach hiking up the him of your shirt. You know he’s up to something, but his current good behavior is enough to lower your suspensions for now. Him cuddling onto you while you read is actually very peaceful in itself. He looks comfortable and delicate, so you let him be.

-But that doesn’t last for long

-You can feel his warm breath on your stomach ascented by soft pecks and kisses, leaving trails just beginning to go above your belly button. His hands grab the rim of your shirt pulling it over his head, creating a personal space for just him and the beautiful view underneath

-“Lucien!” You giggle as his kisses gradually travel higher up, getting wetter and more passionate with each contact of skin

-“Hm? Something wrong? I prefer it under here..” and with that, he’s face planted.

-The distractions have your book strown to the side after you’ve long lost interest

-Lucien likes to play.

-He’ll dip his hands in periodically to help with his little experiments, pressing down your nipples to watch them pop back up.

-But mostly, he’ll hold your body from the outside as he helps himself to as much titty as he wants

-He loves the good old-fashion smother. His face absorbed by boob. Since you’re laying down, He’ll use his hands from the outside to push up all the extra boob fat

-Lucien, the actual kitten, will leave nips and bites on the supple flesh inbetween his face-dive sessions. He just absolutely adores the whole act, having someone he loves and admires so vulnerable and exposed to him and his desires makes his heart soft and dick hard

-Is he lightly thrusting his hips against the matt ? The world may never know

-Lucien does this often tho, maybe second in place to kiro

-From daily hugs to cuddle session, he can’t seem to keep to loose himself to his desires.

Gavin :

-Ooooh blushy boy

-You LOVE teasing him, the way he quickly turns his head to redirect his attention when he’s flustered is beyond satisfying, the butterflys you get knowing what you (unintentionally) do to him is :,)

-So the element of surprise is something he hates but you love

-He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, just chillin on his phone waiting for you to finish up whatever you were doing in the other room when BAM

-“Gavin ~ i missed u ~”

-You pull him into a smothering embrace, his face and your chest having an intement moment together

-You hold his head firmly aginst you while softly stroking his hair, letting some fingers down periodically to trace along his ear

-Gavin groans but shows absolutely no signs of resistance probably to hide his blushing face

-His face feels great agaisnt your chest, you begin to move them side to side to create a bit of friction for yourself

-You hear him release a low exhale at the action as you respond with a soft giggle

-Once Gavins done acting all tsundere he finally surrenders, pulling you closer by hugging at your waist, softly shaking his head in your breast

-Shit he may even grip a titty with one hand as he continues to press against the other

-Gavin lives to please you, so its not long after his attention will go to pinching at your nipples and nipping them with his teeth through your shirt

-When you look down to check on him, you meet the gaze of his blushing face and low amber eyes looking up at you and fuck

-Its time to get down to business :)

-Gavin loves to mark you, so sucking his ownership into one of your most delicate and personal places is his specialty

-He also loves to smother while he fucks you or you fuck him

-When he’s close he’ll bury himself in your chest and fuck you like the dirty dog he is ;)

-he nasty

-so shy...but so naSTy...

Kiro:

-Kiro absolutely loves it

-Kiro is just a boob guy in general?

-White tank top + your nipples pressing through = suckle session

-Like lucien, he loves to lay down on top of you and just... play

-Its rare you both have a day off at the same time so you usually spend it having a lazy day together, after all, working is exhausting

-You’re cuddled up on the couch watching your favorite feel-good show together, one of his favorite things to do with you since he gets to use his most favorite pillow

-Actually, Its just you watching the show.

-His arms are wrapped around your body pressing you as close to his face as he possibly can

-“mmmm miss chips is my favorite pillow~”

-“wahhh your boobs are so great”

-We can’t expect this vocalist to be shy about his feelings for you, he’ll spit little praises at you regularly as they come to his mind

-He’ll lay on each one, then in the crevis of your breast so he can push them together to completely surround himself. His hands will get a good grip as he paws and gropes at them

-Can he breath? The world may never know

-He’ll die a happy death tho

-Loves to wiggle his face back and forth and feel the jiggle

-He gives them so much attention you begin to think he might have a boob worshiping thing?? Not that you’d mind ;)

-His face and free boob massage feels absolutely great, his tinted cheeks and wet blue orbs stairing up at you is enough to make the anime steam blow through your head

- *thought bubble* fuck fuck fuck hes so cute...

Sooo if you can’t tell #1 im a cancer and #2 im about to start my period so my boobs are soooo sensitive right now, these scenarios are all i can think about ~ Thank u sm for reading !!! You can comment your thoughts or stance of the accuracy, Check out my other works under the mlqc tag :) -myk

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musicalhqsgossip · 4 years

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BLAST002: PARTY RECAP EDITION 2.0

looks like this party sure was a cautionary tale ! over the weekend, some were feeling oh-so pretty ( and gay ) while others were falling totally stupid in love… something’s coming, and it’ll have you seeing stars ! eat a cracker and stop by to read the latest scoop on CADY AND MARIA’S PARTY ! if you’re fearless, look beneath the cut for all the drama that happened tonight, tonight…

first off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our lovely ladies, CADY and MARIA ! we heard that the homeschooled jungle freak got w a y too tipsy and made out with little LES… we wonder what her “ boyfriend “ thought about that… or does he not really care ? perhaps JD still has a bit of VERONICA stuck on his mind. either way, we don’t trust the guy. jd and cady might have made up and locked lips once again… but how long will that last ?

and lets talk about our other birthday girl. seems like MARIA finally got the nerve to ask out her not so secret crush TONY – and with her brother and ex-crush breathing down her neck. do we think it’ll last, though ? those lovebirds wouldn’t know the concept of “ taking it slow “ even if it smacked ‘em right in the face ! though we couldn’t help but have our eyes fixed on TONY and VIVIENNE… what is going on there ? are we delusional, or do those two get along really well ? should MARIA and WES be aware of that little dynamic ?

now we are still on the subject of birthday gals – what about the soon to be celebrated WENDY BIRD ? just because it wasn’t her party, didn’t mean she had to ditch – and to get high with no one than CLAUDE, no less. talking about a bad influence… a little birdie told me he recited poetry to her, too. how romantic. i wonder whether RIFF ever talks to her like that…

and talking about the fearless jets leader. showing up to help out little miss sunshine ELLE who was once again crying over WESLEY and VIVIENNE kissing which resulted in yet another argument between the two lawyers… and all over that same boy. again. boo-hoo, tough life much ? maybe next time she should bring bruiser – i am sure that little guy could get a taste for her ex’s ankles… or perhaps she could have wood another guy into taking her home. RIFF took his high as a kite bird, but TONY or JACK might be easily convinced.

but let’s move on to something more exciting: give it up for our favorite lesbian, WEDNESDAY, finally coming out and proud at last – just in time for the end of pride month ! i mean literally… can i give that hottie a hand ? we are proud of you, boo boo.

CLAUDE got his flirt on with MAUREEN ( who on her turn got a bit flirty with TONY ), again, but after her k i l l e r karaoke performance, our favorite minx went home with MORITZ. did CLAUDE really just let a good one go ? maybe her new boy-toy will impress with his “ talents “ for a bit longer !

moving on to the next topic: the NEWSIES. it looks our newspaper squad stuck together too, with SARAH helping a drunken KAT and SPOT trying yet again to win DAVEY over ! a wholesome crew, you say ? you just wait… there is more. and it’s juicy.

rumor has it that KAT got some loose lips on her, going off and telling JACK that their relationship was never gonna work ( are we surprised ). but it seems that our lil’ JACKIE BOY doesn’t go down without a fight ( again, are we surprised ) and took that passion to kiss the hell outta her ! our baby reporter is gonna have a hard time trying to hide her feelings now. game, set…

and since we mentioned JACK – seems like the guy got his flirt on again. KAT might have to put in some real effort if she doesn’t want to lose her shot… i noticed a certain BETTY RIZZO getting his interest. our birthday girl CADY seemed to not mind his presence either – i heard that by the end of the night, he was pouring the alcohol straight from the bottle.

also MINA didn’t seem to mind being left behind: she still got down on the dance floor with MELCHIOR, as if their hookup totally didn’t matter ! or did we completely mistake MINA kissing MARK there… not sure about y’all, but we better see that girl tie him down before he goes running back to AMBER.

talking about our little princess AMBER. i witnessed with my own eyes how she got buzzed and tipsy all too fast and ended up trading kisses with a few exes ! JESSE sure didn’t seem to mind – even though he came with MINA but went off to flirt with ANNA A halfway through the night. that boy sure did not take it easy… maybe these gals were not quite royal enough for his liking. might there be something growing there, ANNA A ? love, at last ?

and what about ANNABETH. the not-so-little thing must not have known what hit her – poor PERCY and LYDIA attempted a little flirting, but to no avail. will that girl ever get her nose out of her damn book and see the romance right in front of her ? luckily, ANNABETH has seemingly found a new friend in ANNA B. bad bitches have to stick together, am i right ? EVELYN could have been a nice addition to that, but her stone cold type of bitch got in the way again… are we the only one wondering why ETHAN keeps trying with her ? or was that not him talking her up again ? that’s what we thought…

but lets get back to love triangles… how is it that PEDRO keeps getting trapped in the middle of those ? while totally u s i n g GABRIELLA to get over his little birdie ( have a type much, pete ? ), mister ex-boyfriend TROY sure wasn’t too happy about it… you can bet on that ! we spied with our little eye how he was getting drunk early on in the night with no other than JUDAH and boy, did he end up losing his cool at his ex-girlfriend. think GABRIELLA will want him back now ? if they aren’t feeling a headache coming up, i sure am…

speaking of couples that seem to be in trouble: who could have seen the JUDAH and LINK hook-up coming ? sure, we could spot the passion from a mile away – and we could hear them arguing from even further ! but hey – unexpected or not, who really minds two hot boys getting it going… you’re right, not us.

and what is up with MEG and JAMIE WELLERSTEIN… people have reported the brunette to be quite flirtatious that night. and with JAMIE, out of all people ? did not think we would ever say that, but that is a dynamic we will be keeping our eyes on…

a party also would not be a party if there wasn’t some major “ drama “, right ? let us begin with our big bad shark leader BERNARDO – first a confrontation with his little sister’s lover-to-be ex-jet TONY only to go through yet another break-up with ANITA. quite the eventful night for you, huh, nardo… remind us, how many times have ANITA and BERNARDO broken up by now ? is anyone still keeping count ? and what about PEDRO and THERESA ? seems like our little fairy is throwing tantrums again… getting cozy with PEDRO, kissing JOHN, only to get jealous at PEDRO again… what’s up with that, THERESA ? indecisive much ? no wonder WENDY and her suddenly get along – these two aren’t all that different after all.

talking about JOHN – one darling boy sure did have a great night, huh ? dancing with THERESA after all, flirting with ALIZ, kissing CHINO… not to shabby for a guy who is locked up behind his desk most of the time. you go, dude ! though ALIZ didn’t only get her flirt on with john: the party-planner slash club-owner did not only strike a business deal with LILY, she seemed to get quite cosy with HERO once again. what is going on there ? and are we the only ones who noticed HERO juggling not only aliz but also MEG ? we knew he was an athlete, but not that he’s a player ( see what we did there ? ).

to end on a high note ( literally ), are we the only ones kind of excited by RYAN EVANS’ marvelous appearance – solo and all. sure head bitch SHARPAY will be on cloud nine. and what about that a d o r a b l e reunion between ILSE and her friends – talking about wholesome reunions, right ? guess it wasn’t all bad news that night !

#blast #gossip #musicalhqs:event003

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sm-entertain-me · 5 years

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SM-Entertain-Me Masterlist (NCT)

I finally have enough fics to upload a masterlist for my NCT fics! After a lot of consideration, I have decided to allow for my followers to request from all subunits of NCT, including Dream. However, I am not familiar with Sungcheol and Shotaro so I will not be as comfortable writing for them as I would for others. Same goes for Chenle and Jisung. I love them both and admire how they’ve grown into the wonderful young men they are, but they were babies to me then, and they are still babies to me now.

Legend: E (for everyone)= Fluff. T (for teen)= Mix of smut and fluff. M (mature)= Full on smut. NC= Not completed/draft. TBW= To be written. BOLD= Popular

Updated- 8/10/2019 at 6:43 PM (PST)

Most Recent: Primadonna (M)- Wong Yukhei/Lucas

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Subunit: NCT 127

Moon Taeil

Red Hot (M)- You decided to go out with your friends to a local arcade because it’s been a while since all of you had the same day off. It sounded like an amazing way to let loose, but there happens to be someone there who can help you get even looser.

Johnny Seo

Beneficial (M) Requested- Having a friend like Johnny can prove to be beneficial whenever it comes to finding someone who can satisfy your needs in ways only Johnny can. And he knows it.

For Learning Purposes (M) Requested- Johnny needs your help with his biology homework since you were always known to be the smart one in high school. All you really had to do was point to things on diagrams and have him tell you what they are, but you suggest that he tries something else to learn the material better…

Lee Taeyong

Mistaken Identity (M)- Why does Taeyong’s name have to be so close to Taehyung’s?

Spring Cleaning (NC)

Nakamoto Yuta

Incentive (M)- You’re easily the best tutor in your whole university; professors love your ability to turn even the worst students into straight A prodigies. They’re hoping you can do it again with resident problem child Yuta. You accept the challenge, but never dreamed of how difficult he could be. Time to bring in… alternative measures.

Wakey Wakey (M)- Honestly the best way to wake up your boyfriend.

Room Service (M)- Traveling all over Osaka led you to a peculiar looking hotel that you had never seen before. What you thought was a normal, upscale hotel turned into something more than you bargained for.

Kim Doyoung

Multitasking (M)- Doyoung knew you had an important phone call from work and knew you couldn’t be interrupted with anything. But that didn’t stop anything, and you should’ve known better.

Our Last Night (M)- All good things must come to an end.

Jung Jaehyun

Windows (M)- You get a new neighbor who is drop dead gorgeous. Luckily for you, he hasn’t noticed how much of a show he puts on for you when he often forgets to close the blinds of his windows… Or maybe he has noticed and seeing how long it takes you to crack.

Finish Line (M) Requested- Taeil was one of the best racers you had ever seen and you were lucky enough to be one of his closest friends. So when he gets invited to one of the biggest racing events in history, it’s hard to resist. Little did you know that there would be something at the party the night before that would be even harder to resist.

Attention Grabber (M) Requested- Jaehyun has been ignoring your advances all day, choosing to talk to the guys instead of you… But you’ll be damned if you’re going to let that slide any longer.

Steamy (M) Requested- You and your boyfriend had won an all expense paid trip to a quaint little hot spring in the Rocky Mountains, taking this opportunity to make it a couples’ retreat. When push comes to shove and clothes begin to come off, you can’t help but find out what other purposes the community sauna can offer the two of you.

Dong Sicheng/Winwin

Nightly Desires (M)- It seems as you got more comfortable with your roommate, the more wild dreams you had about him. Whether it was just innocent kissing or rough trysts, you’d find yourself in his arms while you dreamt. The only thing different about this time is that you’re no longer dreaming.

Kim Jungwoo

Three’s Company (M), feat. Wong Yukhei- Yukhei was your absolute favorite regular at Club 96; always leaving big tips, actually holding a conversation with you, caring about your health, making you laugh, the whole nine yards. So it was no surprise that you let him sleep with you in your club’s private rooms for free on a regular basis. What surprised you is when he brought a friend with him in hopes of tapping into that special treatment.

Mark Lee

Twisted Twister (M)- It’s game night at the dorm! And the game that was picked was none other than the seemingly innocent game of Twister. Seemingly because you just can’t help but get sweet revenge on Mark for all the times he’s teased you over the course of your relationship.

Special Delivery (M)- There’s a new delivery boy at your favorite pizza joint and he just so happens to be the person you were hopelessly in love with during high school.

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan

Remember (T)- It’s time to take a break from your hectic life and remember who you once were, and who once loved you.

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Subunit: NCT U

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul/Ten

Sweet and Sticky (TBW)

Wong Yukhei/Lucas

Unrequited (M)- Your relationship with Yukhei was… interesting to say the least. There was never really a label for you two, it was just there. Until one day he decided that the reason he didn’t want to put a label on your relationship was because he already a had a label with someone else.

Three’s Company (M), feat. Kim Jungwoo- Yukhei was your absolute favorite regular at Club 96; always leaving big tips, actually holding a conversation with you, caring about your health, making you laugh, the whole nine yards. So it was no surprise that you let him sleep with you in your club’s private rooms for free on a regular basis. What surprised you is when he brought a friend with him in hopes of tapping into that special treatment.

Primadonna (M)- Lucas was sick and tired of how you acted in a social setting. You were always so bitter and resentful to those who weren’t in your annoyingly high social level, but he’s determined to humble you… one way or another.

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Subunit: NCT Dream

Huang Renjun

Size Matters (M) Requested- Renjun loves teasing you about your height simply because he loves how adorable you look when you try to do things regular sized people can do, but there’s something else he enjoys about your smaller figure.

Lee Jeno

Would You Rather... (M)- Renjun knew you had a crush on Jeno, everyone did. Being the tease he is, he decides to suggest a little game of Would You Rather to exploit your feelings towards Jeno.

Birthday Shenanigans (M)- Happy Birthday, Jeno!

Na Jaemin

Bad (M)- It’s time for your first real interrogation without your supervisor breathing down your neck. No biggie, right? That is, if you weren’t dealing with such a tempting criminal so late at night.

Ruin (M) Requested- You knew what you were getting into the minute you purchased those fishnet stockings. All eyes were on you the whole night, especially Jaemin’s.

Melting Point (M)- In an attempt to pull Jaemin away from his busy schedule of promoting the new album, you promise to let him try something new in the bedroom tonight. Little did you know, Jaemin was prepared to make you melt in his hands.

Zhong Chenle ***

Coming soon!

Park Jisung ***

Coming soon!

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Subunit: WayV

Qian Kun

Rough Day? (M)- Work was the absolute worst today. Everything that could’ve gone wrong, did. Kun notices how stressed and angry you’ve become just because of work and is determined to get you feeling like your old self again.

Xiao Dejun/Xiaojun

Rule Breaker (M) Requested- Under no circumstances were you to flirt with your little sister’s tutor, no matter how attractive he is. Which means you are definitely not allowed to sleep with him.

Wong Kunhang/Hendery

Specialties (NC)

Liu YangYang ***

Caffeine Chronicles (E) Requested- This is the third time this week that your favorite coffee shop has ruined your order, so it’s time you go in and have a little chat with the staff. But when you lay your eyes on the an employee you’ve never seen before, all of your complaints seem to wash away.

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***- This symbolizes the fact that I am uncomfortable making smut scenarios with this person. I refuse to write smut about those who are not legal in my country or theirs.

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angelinxjohnsons · 5 years

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Sorting the umbrella academy

back at it again with another sorting post! this thing has been sitting in my drafts a while so i thought i’d finally post it, idk how “accurate” it is lol

Number one: a Ravenclaw Primary who has built his worldview around the next Mission. His life needs to have Purpose and that purpose is given to him via orders from dad. When he realizes that his sole Purpose was for nothing, he’s shattered, but then he finds a new purpose again. He has a Slytherin Primary- type loyalty built into his system for Allison, but I don’t think it’s a separate model to take off, I think it’s just part of his belief system. His secondary is Hufflepuff: hard work, doing things as a Team

Number 2: Slytherin Primary. Everything revolves around his lover even when she doesn’t love him anymore (she’s an idealist primary) and then more loosely, some of his family. Secondary is definitely Gryffindor the way he braved his way thru things, although I think he’s adapted a slytherin secondary model for some situations that require it??

Number 3: she loves, loudly, and whole heartedly, and makes sure the world knows it. Despite her fierce slytherin-like loyalty to her daughter, I actually believe she’s a Hufflepuff with the way she tries to bring Vanya into the circle when she realizes she has no one. Then, even after 7 nearly kills her, she still cannot bring herself to stop her and begs for Luther to let Vanya out of the dungeon. The big sister/protective mama trope seems to be a Hufflepuff one. Her secondary is ravenclaw, the way she relies and falls back on the tools she’s gathered and what she knows. She digs up dirt on Leonard thru research and tries to appeal to Vanya via logic and reason; she falls back on her learned power of Rumors when she doesn’t know how to deal with her child; she uses her acting skills+experience (as well as her charm, yes) to get the sheriff to help her. She’s also always the one with a plan.

Number 4: his primary I’d say is loyalist, possibly Slytherin, but the reason he can’t get close to people isn’t, I think, because it’s burned, but because the others haven’t accepted them into the group for their own reasons, as well as for his unpredictable Slytherin Secondary. But maybe it is burned, idk.

Number 5: ah, good ole 5, another of the few idealists in the group. He is a Gryfindor, holding his belief with such stubborn conviction that at times it appears it’s because he feels he had to. If he doesn’t, he may turn into a fallen gryffindor. I’ll be interested to see how his character progresses in season 2. Five’s secondary is a slimy little slytherin who uses whatever tools he has available to him to get through a situation. However, in a scheme as big as saving the world, he has to plan for the long game, so he adopts a ravenclaw model careful calculations and scheming. (Can u tell I love his character? Can u tell we were meant to love him?)

Number 6: as a ghost who just follows 4 around, six doesn’t really get to have much of a character. I’d say... maybe Hufflepuff/ravenclaw? His primary is definitely loyalist, and his secondary is foundational.

Number 7: burned. Very badly burned. I think she’s a petrified slytherin who’s thrown even herself out of her circle when we see her in the beginning, but with the family getting back together and the sudden appearance Leonard in her life, by close to the end she’s starting to un petrify. Her secondary is as a very quiet hardworking hufflepuff. If she just works harder, practices more, maybe she’ll be accepted, more than just ordinary.

Hazel: he is a disturbingly sweet guy? Hufflepuff/hufflepuff I believe.

Cha cha: she has a repeated mantra inside her head that if she just does this one more job and she does it right, she’ll be recognized for it. We have orders and we’re supposed to follow them. Another (tired) Ravenclaw Primary, and also (another disturbing) hufflepuff secondary, although it’s definitely different from Hazel’s.

Agnes: puff/puff. This world seems to be full of those sweet people and it’s no wonder she and hazel are so good together

The Handler: Ravenclaw I believe in her firmness of her belief in the work she’s doing, and she’ll use any means to make sure it’s carried out. Slytherin Secondary. Hers and five’s secondaries are what make them such perfect rivals, and their primaries are why she tries to continuously get him to see the logic in her side, and why he, being the steadfast Gryffindor, doesn’t even bother with her.

Mr Hargreaves: Ravenclaw Secondary, for sure, as well as idealist primary. Is it constructed or felt though? I’m inclined to believe that someone as emotionlessly logical as him would never just go with his gut, he would test it first, so Ravenclaw Primary it is then.

Leonard: he mirrors vanya’s slytherin/hufflepuff, which is why she is so blind to his evil side for so long- all she sees is his seemingly fierce loyalty to her- but the way he uses his houses is far more sinister. leonard works hard at building a relationship with vanya for his own purpose, which ultimately leads to the world ending.

to sum:

number 1: ravenclaw/hufflepuff

number 2: slytherin/gryffindor with slyth sec model

number 3: hufflepuff/ravenclaw

number 4: (burned?) slytherin/slytherin

number 5: gryffindor/slytherin with raven sec model

number 6: hufflepuff/ravenclaw

number 7: petrified slytherin/hufflepuff

hazel: hufflepuff/hufflepuff

cha cha: ravenclaw/hufflepuff

agnes: hufflepuff/hufflepuff

The Handler: ravenclaw/slytherin

mr. hargreaves: ravenclaw/ravenclaw

leonard: slytherin/slytherin

anyway let me know what you think! I just wrote this out really quick back when I first watched the show, noticed it sitting in my drafts, and thought i’d post it. if anyone has a fresher memory than me lmk i’d love to hear your thoughts :0

#umbrella academy #the umbrella academy #ua #hogwarts sorting #hogwarts houses #gryffindor #ravenclaw #hufflepuff #slytherin #my sorting #**#sortinghatchats #hp sorting

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larissaloki · 5 years

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Planet Platypus 1

This is a rehash of an old ask I received that year. I decided to redo it in a more fic like format to put onto Ao3.

Xeno porn ask again, but this is only if u feel like answering, cos I doubt you wanted to go that deep with porn, how did they meet? How did they fall in love? Do their friends approve? Is Steve a oomen or a yautja (I learned their name cos of you thanks)

Since humans managed to develop the technology to be able to go further out into space, exploring the infinite galaxies and stars that are scattered among the dark space, filling it with many wonders and mysteries to be discovered. Despite being an Omega, Tony promised himself he would be one of the first to explore the new places out there. Looking for other lifeforms.

Tony loved his group consisting of Bruce Banner and Janet van Dyne, the scientists that were there to take samples of the plants and dirt to analyse, using tech that Tony made to safely do so. He was happy that the other two never scoffed at his creations or tried to change his designs behind his back. They instead often marveled at his creation and praising his intellect and design.

Thinking that the world isn’t inhabited by many species that could pose a major threat if they were careful, the group set about doing their jobs. Carefully collecting samples of plants and the dirt in different areas to analyse back at camp later, sweating in their protective suits they elected to wear when collecting samples from possible dangerous areas.

Bucky and Steve saw from a distance a new craft come into the atmosphere of their hunting preserve planet, hunting season was over for now and they were just cleaning up their trophies and camps; when they saw this mysterious craft. Not one they recognised.

Together, they volunteered as elites of the clan to check it out and find out what has arrived at this planet, something worthy of a hunt? Another similar species that used this planet that they didn’t know about? Swiftly they made their way through the jungle using their knowledge of the layout to their advantage to get through as fast as possible. Soon they arrive at the landing site of the new craft and decide to observe for a while, decide if the new comers are worth their attention.

Hiding in the trees as they watch the oomans; much to their surprise, they didn’t think humans had this technology yet; make camp and explore the surrounding area, using small unfamiliar devises to take samples. Seemingly so far harmless stuff, the oomans they could see didn’t look like fighters either. Thin and smaller than the ones they prefer to hunt.

As they observe silently from the safety of the trees, they notice that the smallest one, an omega, seems to be the one in charge of the group. Often showing the other two scientists the new stuff that the smaller one was familiar with, possibly the one to have made it? (their close, the equipment was designed by Tony and Helen Cho they later find out) As well as the improved perimeter and defense systems. A series of well placed sensors that will alert them of incoming creatures silently, on a monitor they will see what it is and be able to decide of it needs chasing off or can be left alone.

When Bucky and Steve see these they can’t help but be impressed by this human and its creations, since the last time they saw human tech, it has advanced greatly. Something to perhaps bring up with their clan and look into doing more worthy hunts on earth again, now that they may prove more of a challenge.

They decide to keep an eye on this group. There are a few armed guards that keep watch that they are itching to hunt but restrain themselves, not wanting to give away their position.

As time goes on, the Yautja managing to keep out of sight the entire time using their camouflage tech, they use this chance to learn as much as they can as well, sending updates to their clan who had decided to stay away.

They always found humans biology weird but intriguing, many times the Yautja have pondered over the sub genders of human beings. What makes an Alpha and distinguishes them from the Beta’s and Omega’s. The Los Angelos clan had studied these in much more detail, even working out how to use them to their advantage.

Over time, Steve also watches as Bucky becomes more and more enamoured with the small omega of the group, who’s name they learnt was Tony. Seemingly attracted to the small Omega and trying to get closer to learn more about him, hiding by the tents to listen to their conversations, storing away as much as he can. Steve thought it to risky to get so close, opting to watch from a distance instead, but he couldn’t help the concern he felt for his comrade.

Steve made it his mission to keep an eye on Bucky more so than the humans, he doesn’t want his friend falling for someone that had a high possibility of rejecting him. The species were very different biology wise, they had no idea if the could even procreate with each other, none of this however, seemed to deter Bucky from his interest in the omega.

The first meeting between Bucky and Tony doesn’t happen until a month into being on this new planet; which Tony had declared its name as Platypus 1. No one took him seriously of course, but it was hilarious to document, Bruce could not wait to see Hank Pym’s face when he read the report.

Tony took a trip out to a small water source, just a small walking distance from the camp, he was in charge of studying it and making notes of the waters ecosystems. Bruce would but he was analysing flower properties. As he bent over to take stuff out of a case with his back to the water, Bucky caught a good view of that pert tight ass through tight as sin shorts that made Bucky’s mind short circuit. Hands loosing their grip as it slackens, Bucky fall’s from his perch in his tree, landing into the water with a massive splash.

Jumping as he spins around , Tony gets his first glimpse of Bucky’s form as his camouflage crackles, sparks and ultimately fails due to the exposure to the water. Large, broad and muscular in size; much taller than most humans on earth, easily hitting past 7 ft tall. From the glimpse Tony catches, he can see dreadlock like strands coming from the head that’s a shiny metal in appearance. The skin he can see, looks dark yellow, beige and brown in colour.

Stunned, Tony is frozen still as he watches this hulking form scramble out of the water and run off into the jungle.

That night, Tony keeps it to himself what happened at the water; as he puzzles over what species he had seen. Was it a threat? Was it something sentient that they could make contact with? Deciding to test this theory and throw caution to the wind, Tony goes back to the water the next day and the next and the day after that, sitting by the water and peering into the trees and taking food with him in hopes of luring the being out.

On the third day, Tony accidentally dozes off on a blanket under the warm sun. Bucky finally then gets the courage to come out of the safety of the trees and get a closer look at this alluring ooman sleeping recklessly out in the open. Bucky himself had returned each day but kept himself hidden, weary of showing himself to the ooman incase of a trap.

Deciding to look at the contents of the open basket at the ooman’s side, which Bucky had seen him take things out of, he explores quietly and looks over each bottle and wrapped food. As Bucky was inspecting some cheese, Tony wakes up and watches him silently, trying to keep still to not be noticed.

“So you’re who i saw in the water the other day?”

Jolting Bucky nearly flees right then. God this clan would be embarrassed by all the running away he’s been doing lately. Steeling himself Bucky forces himself to stay where he is, turning to look at the ooman and nods silently, Bucky is nearly 2000 years old and he knows some Human language from hunts in the past, enough to understand them at least.

One look at those molten brown eyes and Bucky was smitten.

From here they start to communicate more, learning about each other and even some words from the other language. Bucky is careful to hide these secret meetings for as long as he can. But after two weeks, Steve finally catches him and has a stern talk with him to be careful, to be sure that these ooman’s won’t try and capture Bucky for study. Their species secrets cannot be revealed to outsiders.

It takes some convincing for Steve to approve of this secret meeting between the two but after Bucky personally introduces Tony to Steve; well lets say Steve only knew the small bean for like 30 minutes but he would personally kill anyone that upset the lil lamb. Including Bucky.

They quickly learn that Tony is a clumsy, reckless genius as Tony keeps coming back with cuts and bruises from experiments, but always with a smile on his face as he succeeds in his latests experiments.

Tony’s friends all have a mixture of emotions when they learn of the predators. Of course Tony would make friends with a species that could snap them in half without a single ounce of effort. Of course Tony would think their adorable when they are snarling at each other over territorial disputes. Bruce often questions if Tony hit his head as a baby when Tony coos over Bucky’s real face after it’s revealed- scaly looking skin with mandibles that flares out in four ways with even an inner mouth, reminding him of some vampire like things in one of the blade movies.

Bucky also took to wearing anything Tony makes him with pride once the courting officially starts. Often showing off anything tech wise to his Clan with a smug click of his mandibles, many who are confused about why Bucky would choose a human but accept it because Bucky and Steve have always been the odd ones.

Steve often punches Bucky in the mask for his smugness. The prick.

#larissaloki #tony stark #steve rogers #marvel #bucky barnes #bruce banner #janet van dyne #Yautja #predators #predator #predator!steve #predator!bucky #omega tony stark #omega tony #first meeting

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emeraldtawny · 5 years

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Siren/Pirate!AU MC, Oliver & Loki - Secrets In The Fog

Guys....before you continue down this rabbit-hole, the original AU is by the absolutely amazing @chiefofpigs so you should definitely read her relationship chart and how this story begins !

SO! Once again, I am incapable of keeping a story brief but this AU literally breathes life into my veins and as soon as I saw Loki’s inclusion into this AU, I knew I had to include him so here we are I seem to love including Oliver as minor roles in my stories recently....huh ANYWHO! Here is my first fic of 2019, and it’s using an amazing writer’s AU so all the better~! ;3

Another quiet night.

The thought passes through her head as the young woman moves through the tavern she works at with ease, her presence both soothing and uplifting to the patrons around her. The regulars know very well of the bubbly yet soft-spoken tavern waitress; how the curl of her lips as she offers you a drink is truly genuine, or how she will always ask you about your day, not from obligation but from interest. Newcomers or travellers passing by for a quick drink enjoy the change of pace, appreciating the somewhat rare expression of such sincerity in these trying times.

She hums to herself as she works, the loose waves of hair framing her face that are too stubborn to be tied back flowing freely with her seemingly effortless movements. The song she hums is a familiar one to her, one that holds a place deep within her heart and always reminds her of the beautiful, dulcet tones of the voice who she first heard the captivating song from.

“Excuse us, miss. Another round of beer for the table, if you would.”

“Coming right up, sir!”

She never notices the spring in her step whenever she thinks of him, her mind too enraptured to fully grasp how much he has a hold on her - a hold that she would gladly stay in, whether circumstantially forced to or not.

She glides to the bar over to where her boss is idly cleaning the glassware. The man, Oliver, hardly spares a glance at her, but this is in no way cold or dismissive. He grabs a few glasses and tops them with tapped beer, the foam falling smoothly over the precipice of each of the glass’ rims. He places them on a tray and slides it to her, the exchange between boss and employee complete. She simply smiles and nods, taking the tray in one hand before turning around to head towards the required table. She sets the tray of golden beer down on the table.

“Here you are. I hope you enjoy your drinks.”

“Thanks, dear.”

With a smile, she grabs the now unoccupied tray and moves to head back to the bar - she doesn’t make it very far.

“Oi, sweetheart. Come back here for a sec. I’ve got a question for ya.”

Despite the man’s gruff authoritative voice, she remains smiling as she turns back to face the man calling upon her, “Can I help you, sir?”

The man grunts, his expression as he assesses her the epitome of untrusting. “I’ve heard rumours ‘bout you ‘round here, love. People say you’re a nice young lass, always kind and helpful regardless of the folk passin’ through.”

Feeling slightly embarrassed by his remarks, she politely bows, “Thank you, sir. It’s very nice to know that-”

“Hold up, I ain’t finished yet.”

She uprights herself, meeting the man’s gaze swirling with seething contempt. “People say that, but that’s just because they don’t know what you really are.”

The calm merriment in the tavern is as good as dead, everyone’s attention focused on the conversation unfolding. Oliver keeps a steely eye on everyone, his movements tense as if ready to act if necessary.

The young woman’s gaze shifts to confusion. “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“I’ve seen you hangin’ round the ports at night, thinkin’ you’re all alone so no one can see you emerge into yer true form, you sea witch.”

Her delicate eyebrows furrow at his words, “Sea witch? You compare me to something of myth?”

“It ain’t myth, sweetheart, so stop playing dumb! No sane girl would hang around the sea at night unless they wanted pirates to abduct them, sirens to suck the life outta them or….you were wantin’ to go home to the ocean you belong in.”

His voice grows colder as realisation dawns on him, the scraping of his wooden chair against the floorboards grating patrons’ ears as he stands, looming over her significantly smaller stature. He laughs mirthlessly, “That’s it, ain’t it? You’re just a fish outta water tryna go back. So why don’t you?! Go back home to the cold depths where you belong, you wretched sea hag!”

A lifeless metallic clink echoes in the still air. The man turns, any expression of anger he was ready to let out forced back by the sight of a barrel of a gun pointed directly at him.

“I think you’ve made your point. Now it’s time for me to make mine-” Oliver’s hand on the pistol is steady, his finger resting on the trigger, “-Get the hell out of my tavern. One more targeted remark from you at my staff and I’ll make sure you never speak again.”

The man’s hulking frame shakes in fear. He grabs a bag of coins from his pocket, carelessly tossing on the table before dashing out of the tavern. Everyone seems to breathe a collective sigh of relief, the atmosphere calming once again.

Oliver returns his pistol to its place under the counter and motions to his waitress to come to him. She swallows and walks slowly to the bar, the nerves built up in her throat from the tense accusations still yet to have dissipated. She meets Oliver’s eyes, their colour similar to the pistol he was just wielding, an involuntary shiver running through her.

“You alright?”

What is meant to be a “Yes” instead emerges from her lips as a strangled “Mm” noise, her throat still constricted. She nods to affirm her point and Oliver sighs.

“Is what he was saying true? Have you been going out to the harbour at night again?”

Her eyes break away from his own to stare at the freshly polished counter, her hands tightening in the fabric of her dress. Oliver keeps his gaze steady on her face, looking for the telling flicker in her eyes of her easily readable honesty. He says nothing, waiting uncharacteristically patiently for her to respond. After a minute, he turns back to polishing the glassware, his deep voice cutting through her thoughts.

“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. I’m your boss, not your guardian. But just be careful, okay?” She nods with an affirmative sound and Oliver sighs again, more from relief than exasperation, “Take the rest of the night off, go clear your head. Be back before the fog sets in. I’ll be waiting.”

She blinks, unsure if what she just heard were her boss’ words. A smile breaks across her face, the thought that she has someone who cares for her putting her mind at ease. She dashes back to her room on the second floor, undoing her apron all the while. Removing the ribbon from her hair with a simple tug, her natural waves succumb to gravity and flow down her back. After a quick check in the mirror, she’s dashing down the stairs and outside, her hair tickling her exposed shoulders.

The lanterns light the linear path to the harbour, her light steps still causing the aged floorboards to creak underneath her as she walks. She breathes in the cool, salty breeze that she adores, her chaotic thoughts like the crashing waves instantly soothed to nothing more than a gentle ripple. She reaches the end of the dock, admiring the few ships anchored down as she walks without a destination. Reaching the edge of the wooden walkway, she closes her eyes and begins to sing, her voice resonating out to the vast nothingness of the ocean. She smiles as she sings, feeling accomplished at how much she has improved since when she first learned the foreign lyrics. She knows that she shouldn’t be doing this, that she should be inside in her room, but she feels beckoned to the harbour, to the deep ocean before her so close yet still so far away.

(I want to see you.)

Through her closed eyelids, she doesn’t notice the fog slowly creeping in and swirling ominously around her legs, nor does she notice the almost silent footsteps over her singing. She lets out a breath of satisfaction and solace, reopening her eyes to those of ruby and amber, seeming to shine without light. She stiffens and jumps back, her foot slipping on the edge of the walkway.

“Ah-!”

She squeezes her eyes shut, yet she feels no chill from the seawater running through her spine, nor the wetness on her skin. She opens her eyes again to mismatched hues, the man’s arms around her waist and a few feet from where she almost fell.

“My, that was awfully close. Do be careful out at night. Who knows what would have happened if you fell into the ocean.”

“U-um, yes. Thank you.”

His arms release her and she takes a precautionary step backwards. He smiles, an odd combination of innocence and mystery that has her curious. Before she can even ask, he speaks.

“You should head back home before the fog sets in. Wouldn’t want Oliver to condemn your actions, now would we?”

“Wait...how do you--?”

He chuckles, thoroughly amused by her shock, “You need not know anything about me, except that I am better than most at knowing what goes on around here. I have nothing better to do, you see,” His grin somehow widens, taking on a more knowing, fiercer edge, “For example, I know you come out here most nights to sing to the sea. And that you’re not always alone.”

She stiffens, opening her mouth to retort but is quickly silenced by his hand, the force applied enough to keep her quiet but nothing to cause harm. “Don’t try to lie to me, my dear. I’ve seen him. Or, I guess it’s more accurate to say that I’ve seen them both.”

She gasps, his hand stifling the sound. He continues, “Seems that man calling you a sea witch wasn’t too outlandish. If you’re conversing with the creatures meant to suck the souls from humans and are still living, then maybe you have something special about you,” He pauses, his eyes narrowing as he watches the quickly growing distress in her eyes, “You can even sing the siren’s song and feel no bewitchment...although, I guess your pirate friend can’t say the same.”

(What? What is he saying? What does he mean? How does he know all of this?!)

Her thoughts spiral, no answers and only questions. She breaks free of his grasp, ready to run until-

“A shame you haven’t seen your pirate friend in a few weeks. And I was going to tell you when he was next coming back to town.”

She freezes almost subconsciously, her feet still while her brain screams at her to run. She should know better, she should be back at the tavern by now, unconcerned with the man before her. So why isn’t she moving?

The fog settles deeper around the docks, creeping slowly around them, its presence near suffocating and threatening to leave the lantern lights redundant. She looks over her shoulder, meeting the man’s gleaming gaze.

(I...want to see him too.)

“What do you know?”

The man grins wide, his trap in place. “He’s a pirate on a ship called The Heart Breaker. New recruit, yet he has his sea legs. They like this town for its neutrality and good trading posts. I happen to have intel that The Heart Breaker will be back in port on the next full moon.”

Eyes wide, she racks her brain for the next time that will be. “That’s in….four days.”

“It is indeed. Is that all you wanted to know?”

She nods, “Yes, thank you. I won’t ask how you know this, but you have my gratitude.”

He chuckles, herself unsure if it’s the presence of the fog making him appear more sinister. “ You didn’t actually think I would just tell you what you wanted without an exchange, did you?”

She swallows hard, chills running through her spine. “I--I have nothing of value. I swear, please.”

He steps towards her, the fog seemingly parting for him. Her feet feel as heavy as lead, unable to run as he drifts within arm’s reach of her.

“I’m not asking for much. And what I want is something only you can get me,” He leans in, whispering into her ear, “I need you to get me one of your siren friend’s scales.”

“What?”

She baulks, in disbelief of his request.

“I want a siren scale,” He reiterates, “The rumours of their opalescent scales holding a myriad of colours intrigues me. Get me one of your friend’s scales and I’ll consider your debt paid.”

“But, I--”

“Haven’t seen him? Maybe not, but I know he’s emerged from the surface for you and that he’s been close enough to you to touch.”

She falls silent, her eyes transfixed on his own. He grins, stepping back from her but never once letting his gaze waver.

“You’re a pretty girl, I’m sure you’ll figure something out. Maybe you can beguile the beguiler.”

The last thing she sees are his eyes, blood and gold, staring at her until the fog inhibits her vision. She rushes forward hoping to catch him, but as she emerges from the fog, he’s nowhere to be seen. She frowns, looking around near frantically for him. She sighs silently, resigning herself to simply walk back to the tavern, ready for Oliver to rip into her.

As she walks back with the last of the sun setting behind her, the man who she was searching for emerges from the fog, watching her return to town with a wry smile gracing his lips.

“With her voice, she enchants; with her beauty, she deprives of reason - voice and sight alike deal destruction and death.” He chuckles under his breath as the fog engulfs him, his eyes glinting with the small shred of lantern light penetrating the deep fog, “A siren uses its voice and a pirate uses its sword, but all bring destruction and death regardless.”

#ikerev #ikerev siren/pirate au #loki genetta #oliver knight #I love chief and her AUs so much!#pls read the originals #props to chief herself for giving me info on the pirates to help me write this

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jin-was-here-2 · 6 years

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This is going to be more me getting my thoughts out than coming for anyone.

But I'm def arguing some of the arguments I've seen over the last couple weeks.

And for the record I love both boys however I'm probably considered more of a Dean stan. (Reallly I love all three. But this is going to be more feud focused.)

That being said... I just don't see why Seth's majority being painted as the one in wrong or straight up deserving of this treatment. At least on Tumblr. The crowds seem different. But on here there are a couple things driving me absolutely u p the f r e a k i n ' wall, lads.

One is seeing things like, and I'm paraphrasing, "well Seth (and Roman) haven't purposely done things to make Dean feel down or lesser than. But that's how he feels and what led him to this point". Like that makes what he did or has been doing ok or justified. I really don't think it does. Because what could they have done to make Dean not feel that way? Not be proud of their titles? They fought hard for them. And if Dean really didn't want to help Seth get his fairly at SummerSlam he really didn't have too. Talk to him? He wouldn't give them much when they tried beside loosely veiled threats, acting fine, and/or walking away. So they're just left like, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ "what do we do? What CAN we do"? At the end of the day it's his deal. He has to deal with it ya know?

And listen I understand how it's easy for some people to get stuck in their heads. I understand because I'm like that. And I can 100% say that shit like the silent treatment, stewing, the hot and cold game, and saying shit was fine all the while were definitely factors in my one and only really good friendship ending. Not the only factors, mind. But for sure the way I chose to handle some things (My feelings. My anger. ...And insecurities.) did not help. (Coincidentally that relationship got toxic. Maybe even on both end. So walking away was ultimately the healthiest thing to do. ...Which has me side eyeing these two boys. Ma heart. T_T)

So like I totally get it. I really do. ...But I just can't justify it. Ya gotta find a way to deal with your shit 'cause it's not really anyone else's responsibility. Not your friends or love interests. It just isn't. (Unless you have already agreed apon that type of dynamic. i.e. top and brat, Etc) (And. AND. Can I just say that Dean has a crazy skillful way with words and is articulate like a motherfucker yet "Baby Boy can't communicate". I- I just needed that pointed out.)

The second thing that's got me s e e t h i n g is what seems like a total refusal to see why or how Seth might be feeling the way he does. Broham just got some terribly terribly awful news. And at a time where they both could really benefit from having each other at their sides... Dean. Out of nowhere. Slams his head into the mat. ...And then again. Methodically. Deliberately. Into concrete. Seth doesn't know why. We don't know why. Not really. We think we do but they're just assumptions. Dean hasn't s a i d.

Is it that farfetched to understand how Seth might be angry at this point? Or even why he may assum Dean's actions were selfish? He doesn't have much to go on. Personally I don't believe Dean would turn on Roman. (I mean I would like to believe he wouldn't on Seth either. But also, in WWE, nothing is sacred. Not truly.) And I think we can all agree this Dean is different. So... maybe? Maybe he would do such a thing. (He did pointedly take off and throw his Shield shirt, walk back up the stairs, and show up there the next time. All stuff alluding to the shield as a whole so????) And I believe Seth is feeling that too. Because it was on THAT night and he doesn't know who this Dean is and is FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.

The third thing I have thoughts about is some of the reasons for the turn being thrown around. Like Seth had it coming? Why? For what? For what, when they already hashed Seth's turn out. He took his licks for the heinous things he did. There was an ark about it and everything. And more importantly Dean forgave him in the end. He didn't have to. And he would have been well within his rights to not, but he did.

So for me it would feel very fucked up if he's been harboring these feelings towards Seth when he didn't have to go back to partnering with him in the first place. That's blatantly leading someone on. And more over, him needlessly putting himself in what he would presume is a dangerous situation. And to me It still doesn't make since to say these feelings came about while Dean was out. Because why? Because life went on and Seth got himself some titles? That's the sport. Dean would have done the same. (I mean they both got titles THE NIGHT Roman had to leave.) Because he teamed with JJ? He didn't even want to. And when Jason got too big for his britches he straight up told him he would never be like Ambrose. Pretty vehemently, too. So like? If that is it then it goes back to Dean just having to deal with his feelings and why he's feeling like that. Because it's hard for me to say it's anything Seth or Romans did.

Now this next thing is the thing I think I'm the most intrigued by. (And is really just me marking the fuck out.) Whatever the FUCK Seth supposedly said to Dean that night that set him off. Because honesttly A LOT of theories hinge on whatever it was. Depending on what it was Seth should not have been so surprised. If it were that bad Seth could totally be playing it up right now. But then if it WERE that bad Dean could have just said this Monday. But THEN that could be why it look like Seth interrupted him. It's so open-ended! Ah!

I'm just so very intrigued by this seemingly big piece of the puzzle we're missing. So very. There was apprehension before Dean went totally ham. So he's conflicted by something pretty heavily. Perhaps because it was THAT night. And he DIDN'T want to lose it then. But Dean screaming things like "why'd you say that", "you think it's funny", "it's not a joke", and "watch your mouth" make me think Seth called him Lunatic again. Which makes it kinda like... Seth... why would you D O that???? But also it still feels like an overreaction on Dean's part? Like beat his ass a little, a little bit down the road ya know? Not THEN, that much, over THAT. Though I know he's fed up with that shit.

But THEN there's weird stuff being yelled too. Like "this all you care about", talking about the titles. Seth doesn't care about titles anymore or less than Dean or Roman do. He learned what was more important to him month's ago. And it was his boys. The "You told me it can't happen"???? What could that even mean? I have no clue. But I want to know so so bad.

Tl;DR: I love all these boys but Dean's being a lil asshole for s e e m i n g l y not much reason. S e e m i n g l y. And Seth could use a little bit more understanding.

TL;DR 2 : We're only two weeks in and I have HAD. IT. Yet I want more. I hate ALL of them. The fuckers.

#wooo-wee. my head hurts. so much. anyway. have this spiel.#dean ambrose #seth rollins #roman reigns #ambrollins #the shield #wwe #jinouchi.txt

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bloojayoolie · 5 years

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Anaconda, Andrew Bogut, and Apparently: HolyField ld 55132, 2 Yrs. 66 lbs of Mush Waiting for Love Manhattar Highly social, a big mushball, full of joy, cuddles & kisses The king of zoomies & play bows. A good wonderful boy TO BE KILLED 3/9/19 A volunteer writes: "Meet the most swoon-worthy boy at the Care Center! Wherever Holyfield goes, all eyes follow, and his lusciously thick coat and stunning markings are a Husky aficionado's dream come true. But this beautiful boy is more than just another pretty face, he's got a smart, lovable personality to compliment his good looks and a behavior assessment full of the highest praise. Comments like 'highly social', 'leans into petting' and 'attempts to lick face' speak to the kind of mushball he is at heart and he's been very friendly toward staff (and one lucky volunteer!) since his arrival. A good leash walker who appears house trained, Holyfield's happy to show off his come, sit and stay for treats, and hops in and out of his kennel with ease. Free in the yard, he likes to spend his time exploring, snuggling and letting off steam with the occasional zoomie. His play bows are the stuff of legend: bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and 100 percent ready for Instagram stardom. Holyfield isn't asking for a miracle, just an active family as soft and social as he is. With his looks and charm, I've no doubt he'll make sure they find him very soon." If you can foster or adopt this adorable, sweet fella, hurry and PM our page or email us at [email protected] for assistance. HOLYFIELD, ID# 55132, 2 yrs old, 65 lbs, Unaltered Male Manhattan ACC, Large Mixed Breed, Gray / White I came to the shelter as an Agency, 2/17/2019 Shelter Assessment Rating: New Hope Rescue Only Medical Behavior Rating: 1. Green AT RISK MEMO: Holyfield is at risk, new hope only determination, for behavioral reasons. Due to Holyfield's bite history (See below for details) and sensitives to touch, Holyfield is recommended for placement with a new hope rescue partner that can provide the necessary behavior modification and reward based training. Medically, Holyfield seems healthy. SHELTER ASSESSMENT SUMMARIES- Date of assessment: 25-Feb-2019 LEASH WALKING Strength and pulling: Moderate Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: None Leash walking comments: None SOCIABILITY Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Highly social Call over: Approaches readily Sociability comments: Jumps up on assessor, attempts to lick face, stays close by HANDLING Soft handling: Seeks contact Exuberant handling: Seeks contact Comments: Soft body, leans into petting AROUSAL Jog: Engages in play (loose) Arousal comments: None Knock: Approaches (exuberant) Knock Comments: Jumps up Toy: No response Toy comments: None MEDICAL BEHAVIOR - Date of initial: 17-Feb-2019 Summary: Tense ENERGY LEVEL: We have no history on Holyfield so we cannot be certain of his behavior in a home environment. However, he is a young, enthusiastic, social dog who will need daily mental and physical activity to keep him engaged and exercised. We recommend long-lasting chews, food puzzles, and hide-and-seek games, in additional to physical exercise, to positively direct his energy and enthusiasm. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations: No children (under 13) Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments: Due to Holyfield's bite history, we recommend placement with a New Hope partner who can provide any necessary behavior modification (force-free, positive reinforcement-based) and re-evaluate behavior in a stable home environment before placement into a permanent home. Potential challenges: Handling/touch sensitivity Bite history (human) Potential challenges comments: BITE HISTORY: Holyfield bit a child in his previous home when the child pulled his tail, showing he may not be comfortable with all forms of handling. MLD COMMENT: The child should have been taught NOT to pull their pets tail because it hurts the dog. MEDICAL EXAM NOTES 27-Feb-2019 Progress Exam. S: BAR. O: Nasal d/c bilaterally; sniffling A: Early CIRDC. P: 1)Move to isolation. 2) Doxycycline- 100mg; Sig: 3 tabs q 24 hr x 14 d's. 3) Baytril- 136mg; 2 tabs PO q 24 hrs x 14 d's 19-Feb-2019 DVM Intake Exam. Estimated age: 2 years. Microchip noted on Intake? no. Microchip Number (If Applicable): n/a. History : Brought in by police post aggressive episode in the home; surrender secondary to aggressive episode in household. Subjective: seeks head scratching; approaches for social interaction. Observed Behavior - approached an outreached hand. takes cheese from hand. easily placed muzzle; calm during entire exam. Evidence of Cruelty seen - no. Evidence of Trauma seen - no. BCS- 6/9. EENT: Eyes clear, ears- mild debris AU, no nasal or ocular discharge noted. Oral Exam:limited with muzzle. PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic. ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated. U/G: mi w/ 2 down. MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat; area of alopecia on left lateral, caudal thorax (old healed wound). CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities. Assessment: apparently healthy. alopecia area on left lateral thorax-- old healed wound. Prognosis: good. Plan: find a home SURGERY: Okay for surgery 17-Feb-2019 LVT Intake. Microchip Scan: negative, placed. Evidence of Cruelty: no. Observed Behavior: tense and nervous Sex: intact male. Estimated Age: reported ~2y. Subjective: Stray, no history, seemingly healthy. Eyes: clear. Ears: clean. Oral Exam: mild staining. Heart: WNL Lungs: WNL. Abdomen: WNL. Skin: Left hind quarter - a skin laceration seen. Musculoskeletal: WNL BCS 5.5/9 Mentation: BARH. Preliminary Assessment: seemingly healthy. Plan: DVM intake *** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT *** HOLYFIELD IS RATED NEW HOPE RESCUE ONLY. To save his life, you MUST fill our applications with New Hope Partner Rescues. He cannot be reserved online or direct adopted at the shelter. PLEASE MESSAGE OUR PAGE or email us at [email protected] for assistance. HOW TO RESERVE A “TO BE KILLED” DOG ONLINE (only for those who can get to the shelter IN PERSON to complete the adoption process, and only for the dogs on the list NOT marked New Hope Rescue Only). Follow our Step by Step directions below! *PLEASE NOTE – YOU MUST USE A PC OR TABLET – PHONE RESERVES WILL NOT WORK! ** STEP 1: CLICK ON THIS RESERVE LINK: https://newhope.shelterbuddy.com/Animal/List Step 2: Go to the red menu button on the top right corner, click register and fill in your info. Step 3: Go to your email and verify account \ Step 4: Go back to the website, click the menu button and view available dogs Step 5: Scroll to the animal you are interested and click reserve STEP 6 ( MOST IMPORTANT STEP ): GO TO THE MENU AGAIN AND VIEW YOUR CART. THE ANIMAL SHOULD NOW BE IN YOUR CART! Step 7: Fill in your credit card info and complete transaction HOW TO FOSTER OR ADOPT IF YOU *CANNOT* GET TO THE SHELTER IN PERSON, OR IF THE DOG IS NEW HOPE RESCUE ONLY! You must live within 3 – 4 hours of NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Norther VA. Please PM our page for assistance. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a dog on the To Be Killed list, including those labelled Rescue Only. Hurry please, time is short, and the Rescues need time to process the applications. Shelter contact information Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email [email protected] Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309 *** NEW NYC ACC RATING SYSTEM *** Level 1 Dogs with Level 1 determinations are suitable for the majority of homes. These dogs are not displaying concerning behaviors in shelter, and the owner surrender profile (where available) is positive. Some dogs with Level 1 determinations may still have potential challenges, but these are challenges that the behavior team believe can be handled by the majority of adopters. The potential challenges could include no young children, prefers to be the only dog, no dog parks, no cats, kennel presence, basic manners, low level fear and mild anxiety. Level 2 Dogs with Level 2 determinations will be suitable for adopters with some previous dog experience. They will have displayed behavior in the shelter (or have owner reported behavior) that requires some training, or is simply not suitable for an adopter with minimal experience. Dogs with a Level 2 determination may have multiple potential challenges and these may be presenting at differing levels of intensity, so careful consideration of the behavior notes will be required for counselling. Potential challenges at Level 2 include no young children, single pet home, resource guarding, on-leash reactivity, mouthiness, fear with potential for escalation, impulse control/arousal, anxiety and separation anxiety. Level 3 Dogs with Level 3 determinations will need to go to homes with experienced adopters, and the ACC strongly suggest that the adopter have prior experience with the challenges described and/or an understanding of the challenge and how to manage it safely in a home environment. In many cases, a trainer will be needed to manage and work on the behaviors safely in a home environment. It is likely that every dog with a Level 3 determination will have a behavior modification or training plan available to them from the behavior department that will go home with the adopters and be made available to the New Hope Partners for their fosters and adopters. Some of the challenges seen at Level 3 are also seen at Level 1 and Level 2, but when seen alongside a Level 3 determination can be assumed to be more severe. The potential challenges for Level 3 determinations include adult only home (no children under the age of 13), single pet home, resource guarding, on-leash reactivity with potential for redirection, mouthiness with pressure, potential escalation to threatening behavior, impulse control, arousal, anxiety, separation anxiety, bite history (human), bite history (dog) and bite history (other). New Hope Rescue Only Dog is not publicly adoptable. Prospective fosters or adopters need to fill out applications with New Hope Partner Rescues to save this dog

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Anaconda #Andrew Bogu

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practicingmedicine · 3 years

Text

Practicing Medicine: Chapter 5

LOADER V1. 1

EXEC VERSION 41.10

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HOLLOWTAPE LOADED: “THE-NEW-KID”

INITIALISING….

SUCCESS!

> STATUS

Battery Level: 100%

Wireless Signal: (?)

Operating Temperature: 87F

> HEALTH

BP: 120/90

SPO2: 100%

Temp: 98.5F

RR: 17

HR: 70

> TIME

Day: 24 SEP. 2176

Time: 06:12

> CLIMATE

Current Temperature: 80F

Atmospheric Pressure: 753 mm

Background Radiation: 0.431 RAD

---

I woke up to the pleasant smell of fresh-cooked bacon mingling with the less pleasant smell of rotting wood. I rubbed my eyes- had I really fallen asleep in the damn cabin? My back hurt, my joints ached, and, according to the pip-boy, it was 6:12 AM, almost two hours before my normal wake-up time. Though my back screamed at me to lay back down, I forced myself to stand, audibly popping at least a few joints in the process. I muttered some bad words under my breath and tried to stabilize myself against one of the shelves. Soon as I pushed on it, I could feel the wood yield, splitting and snapping off in one violent motion. I tumbled to the ground along with it and a heap of medical supplies. “Goddammit,” I groaned. I started trying to scoop up the fallen supplies. None of them seemed damaged, but so much had fallen- Bottles of pills, bags of rad-away, surgical implements from the bottom of the bag…

Suddenly, the wooden door creaked open. I made a noise like a caveman who’d just been spotted screwing his buddy’s wife, and turned around to face the intruder.

“Isaac- Oh my gosh, did you actually fall asleep in there?” I couldn’t tell if that was worry that I heard in her voice, or mocking. I looked away from her.

“Yeah. I was just cleaning up in here,” I said, scooping up a few more items and putting them back into my bag. I could feel Cook’s eyes on me as I struggled to reach for a couple of items that were on top of one of the intact shelves.

“Well, you can finish packing later. I made some home-style bacon, which as I’m sure you know has a pretty short tastiness half-life before it gets all weird and chewy.” I nodded.

“Um- yeah, you’re right. Is it that weird NCR ration stuff?” I asked, following her outside the shack.

“Technically, but I think you’ll like it. I can turn a pack of instant noodles into Taglioni ai enokitake-mutante! ” She wore a proud grin when she said that, and I gave her a weak little smile back.

“Mm.”

The rising sun felt painfully bright as I scanned the horizon, noting that we had passed the big radio-tower that loomed in the mountains beside Primm. Of course, we really hadn’t traveled far yet- I could still see Primm, with its neon signs and its indefinitely under-construction roller coaster standing out against the hilly background. The coaster had been the previous Casino-owner’s idea, but Mom had decided to see it to completion. She let me ride one of the parts that worked once; I quickly decided to never ride a roller coaster again.

Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be at home with mom- not the sick mom, but the strong, gambling, slightly-tipsy mom that I had spent my boyhood with! I blinked back tears as I stared at the home I was leaving behind, then quickly turned around.

“Goddamn sun is getting in my eyes,” I muttered, and kept limping towards the scent of Bacon.

Cook and I walked around the side of the shack, and over a little hill. Once we reached the crest, I could see the campsite below, just off the highway, behind a massive boulder. The wagon and its two brahmin sat off to one side, a few yards away from a shoddily constructed fire pit, where I could see Gram sitting in a folding lawn chair. Cook led me down the steep hillside, silently indicating for me to follow behind her. It took me a second, but I got the message after slipping on the third loose rock. Standing atop the boulder, I could see the unmistakable outline of Tandi, who I think was waving.

“Took you long enough!” she shouted, her voice amplified by her helmet. Cook gave her a defiant middle finger.

“I’ll spit in your dinner!” she shouted back, cupping her free-hand over her mouth. I assumed a look of quiet horror.

“Cook! That’s a textbook BSI violation!”

Tandi hopped down from the rock, executing a perfect tumble just as I remembered that she had a horribly injured leg. I almost shouted in protest, then realized that she was already standing again. She dusted herself off.

“‘Morning, fellas,” said Gram, tipping his hat at us from his rusty folding chair. I gave him a quick salute.

“‘Morning, sir! Sorry I took so long to get up.” Gram gave me a dismissive wave.

"You’re the one missing out on a hot breakfast. Check the fire, I’ll bet there’s some left.”

I don’t much like fire, but I also didn’t like how hungry I was feeling. So despite my fears about the safety of the fire pit, I walked up and knelt beside it. It wasn’t a big fire- it had been made from a couple of planks of plywood and a chunk of tire, though I was also pretty sure I saw something metal in there somewhere. It had been built inside a hand-dug pit, with the shovel still lying off to the side, which worried me a little bit. What if I fell in? Would I fall into my own fiery grave of burning embers?

Stupid. I was being stupid. The fire was burning low now, and there were two pans of delicious Brahmin bacon cooking over the stove. That was the important thing here.

“How do you recommend taking these out?” I asked, staring at the delicious bacon which awaited me in the pan below. It was tempting to just try to grab it, but… fire, you know?

Cook motioned for me to move out of the way. She was holding a machete covered in dried blood- Animal blood, I hoped, while I moseyed right-on out of the way. Cook stepped up where I had been standing, and nimbly scooped up four strips of bacon with the machete. She wheeled around on one heel to face me, and I froze, trying not to be worried about the blade that was now just inches away from my chest. Cook smiled.

“How many do you want?” She asked. I looked down at my poor, empty stomach, then back up at her.

“...Can I just have all four? I don’t think I ate breakfast, lunch or dinner yesterday.” Food had been the last thing on my mind.

“A man after my own tastes, I see! Stress-eating is the noblest kind of eating,” she replied. She tilted her machete downwards a bit, and I quickly cupped my hands to catch the sliding strips of meaty goodness. I juggled them around in my hands as the worst of the heat dissipated.

“You don’t know the half of it. Got any plates?” Cook shook her head.

“Nope. We have a couple of bowls for soup, but I just cleaned those. Find a rock or something.” She looked at me for a moment, and screwed up her face a little. “Why are you here anyways? No offense- I like Doctors, and you seem cool! But you don’t seem like someone who’s traveled before, and New Vegas is far away. What brought this on?”

I thought for a second. I had deliberately withheld that information from Gram because I wasn’t sure how he’d react, but I wasn’t really worried about Cook. Would she tell Gram? Would he be annoyed that I’d been withholding information?

Was I maybe overthinking this a little?

“My mom’s sick. I need to see the Followers to get her help, and they’re stationed in New Vegas now.”

There. Noncommittal- I didn’t say she was dying, just that she needed help. I didn’t let on too much about the circumstances, either. I just told the truth. And I always say, reluctant honesty is the best policy, on account of It fostering character growth or something.

Come to think of it, I was starting to see why characters in the books that father always read me didn’t just dump their deepest, darkest problems on each other as soon as they met. I’d always been of the mind that most of their problems would be cleared up if they were just honest with each other- that was my thinking behind the examination. But now, I was seeing firsthand the dangers of sharing information with new people. If I told Gram or Tandi the wrong thing, or presented it the wrong way, I could see myself winding up abandoned.

Cook seemed safe, though. Where Gram seemed to care only as it related to running an effective team, and Tandi didn’t seem to care at all, Cook seemed endlessly fascinated by most things. In the examination room, she had been interested by my hand, by her own strange biology, and seemingly just by me.

Based off of that, I was pretty sure she wasn’t testing me or looking for a reaction when she asked that question. She just really wanted to know.

“Oh. I’m gonna guess that what she has is terminal?” ventured Cook, trying to make scary eye contact for some reason. I sighed.

“...Yeah. My mom has cancer. Nothing I can do about it, but I know some doctors who I’m hoping to convince to come back and help. My Aunt Julie is kind of a big deal there, and I’ll bet I could guilt trip her.”

“Oh.” We both sat in silence.

Well, there went keeping that part a secret . Still, it didn’t really matter- if I was desperate enough to mosey on up from Primm to New Vegas and beg for help, anyone with an ounce of brainpower could guess that the situation was pretty serious.

I started munching on my strips of bacon, which admittedly brightened my mood a little. I think I was on about the third piece of bacon when Cook finally decided to try to restart the conversation.

“I’m really sorry- not about your mom- well, obviously about your mom, but also about…

"Bringing it up like that,” I said, finishing her thought for her. She tugged at the hem of her dress.

“Yeah. I don’t always think before I talk.”

Well, I could understand that, at least. Not that I didn’t think before I spoke, but that I didn’t think about the right things before I spoke. I’ve always tried my best to be kind to everyone, but my idea of kindness is a lot different than most people’s. For example, most people will tell you that they’d like for you to tell the truth, which is good- I like telling the truth, makes me feel better- but when you tell them the truth, they get all upset and tell you that you shouldn’t be so mean. It’s infuriating- if they want me to lie, why don’t they fuckin tell me so?

Well, actually, maybe that’s a bit too much to expect, but it would be nice if they didn’t preface it with, “ Be honest ,” seeing as how they expect the opposite. But I digress.

“It’s okay- I have a similar problem,” I replied. Then I thought back a little, and decided to be proactive. “Actually, can I ask you a quick question?”

Cook nodded. “Ask away!”

“When you say, “be honest,” do you mean it? Like, I’ve noticed that a lot of people tell me that, and then when I tell them the truth they get all freaked out. You ain’t going to do that, right?” I asked. She grinned.

“Oh, thank gosh- I thought you were about to start asking me about my past or something. Um, no, I definitely won’t freak out if you’re honest with me. Actually, I kind of hate it when people mince words to make things sound better,” she replied, scooping up another few strips of bacon with her machete. She offered me one.

“No, but thank you!” I instinctively backed up a few inches as the blade came within chopping-distance of my nose. She smirked.

“More for me, I guess.” I watched with confusion and fascination as Cook flicked her machete, tossing all three strips of bacon into the air, and then subsequently caught them with her mouth. I couldn’t pretend that that wasn’t kind of impressive, but I honestly wasn’t sure how to show my appreciation for a stunt like that.

“That was kinda nasty,” I offered. Cook scoffed at me through the bacon.

“Oh, come on, you’re a doctor! Isn’t your bar for what’s, “nasty” a little higher than that?” I shrugged.

“I never said that stuff wasn’t nasty. But, I poke around people’s guts all the time. I don’t think I’ve ever watched someone do that before,” I replied. That was a little bit of a fib- I actually didn’t root around inside people’s internals very often. In fact, yesterday was the first time that I’d done anything that involved so much blood. But, I’d seen father do the same thing a thousand times, and I’d practiced on corpses and looked at diagrams, gotten a sense for what it was like. Even by that time in my life, the smell of blood on skin was one I wasn’t ever gonna forget.

“I guess I’ll take that as a compliment- I made a doctor sick to his stomach,” she said, finishing off the last of the bacon and wiping her mouth. I shook my head.

“No, see, I didn’t say you made me sick, I said it was “ kinda nasty- ” there’s a big difference!”

“You two, shut up and pack your shit! We’re leaving!”

We both turned around to face Tandi, who had been stalking up behind us, helmet underneath her arm. She looked a lot better in the morning sunlight than she did in the sickly glow of the flash-lit shed. Her hair flowed behind her as the wind blew, and she was able to stand at her full, impressive height, which was at least a foot taller than me. Cook and I were both completely dwarfed by that woman.

“I’m already packed--Isaac isn’t, but that’s my fault. I fetched him for breakfast before he could finish,” said Cook, and I silently appreciated her jumping to my defense like that. Tandi rolled her eyes at us with her entire upper body, and pointed in the direction of the shed.

“Well get to it then! I’m gonna scout ahead, check the usual places. Don’t do nothing stupid,” she suggested, slipping her helmet back on. Before I could think of a clever retort, Tandi was already out of earshot. She gave Gram a lazy salute as she strolled past him, and he tossed her something- a rifle, I think. She caught it with practiced ease. Then she strode behind the boulder, and out of sight.

“She’s real scary,” I decided. Cook shrugged.

“I like her. I mean, she’s not usually this mean- She’s just not a morning person. Give her some time, eh? She’ll warm up.” I gave her a look that suggested the opposite.

“Really? What could she possibly like about me? I’m a small-town doctor, she wouldn’t let someone like me tie her boot-laces!” Cook looked annoyed now. Were they actually friends or something?

“Yeah, and I’m a cook, if you couldn’t tell! She doesn’t care what you do, she cares what kind of person you are. As long as you aren’t a complete coward or one of Caesar’s cronies, she’ll be fine with you.”

I sighed. “Okay, maybe. I’m still just gonna stay out of her way unless I’ve got to.” Cook didn’t argue with that. I looked up at the hillside that the shed lay behind. “Do you want to help me pack up?”

She shrugged. “I guess. I’ve really got nothing better to do.

That was fine by me.

-Break-

“How’s that yellow brick road song go? We should be hummin’ that right now,” suggested Tandi, strolling beside me and Gram. Cook was sitting on the top of the wagon, enjoying a midmorning snack of NCR rationed trail-mix.

“You mean the Elton John one? It’s like, “ When are you gonna come down, When are you going to Land -“ started Gram, getting into the rhythm of the song with his gravelly voice. Tandi shook her head.

“Nah, not that hippy shit! I’m talkin’ about the one that the little brat in the wizard movie sings!” I perked up at that.

“You’re talking about the Wizard of Oz!” I replied. That movie was like, one of three that I had ever seen! Tandi nodded.

"Yeah, that one! How’s the song go?”

“Well, it’s like, “ Follow the Yellow Brick Road, Follow the Yellow Brick Road, Follow the Yellow Brick road !” and then there’s a trumpet thing and then they start singing that they’re, ‘ off to see the Wonderful Wizard of Oz ,” I explained, doing a happy little jig as I sang each musical number. I couldn’t see Tandi’s expression, but I don’t think she was very impressed.

“That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever seen,” she said. After a brief pause, she began to hum the song. I hummed along, and eventually, Cook caught on and started humming too. Gram just looked annoyed.

"We’re off to see the wizard ...” Gram rolled his eyes at me. “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz! Come on, sing with me!”

“Yeah! I’ve heard you sing before, you’ve got a great voice!” said Cook. Tandi just kept humming along, walking forwards just a little faster than the rest of us as she hummed. The humming was surprisingly recognizable, given that it was being so grossly distorted.

“The Wizard of Oz is one becozzzzz…” I started, grinning evilly at Gram. He lit a cigar.

“I consider this your fault.”

Tandi began to hum louder, and Cook took that as a cue to join back in. I just grinned and kept humming along, happy to lighten the mood for the other two. It was getting really hot, after all, and we had already walked a couple of miles this morning.

Still humming, I checked the route guidance on my pip-boy. We were currently bound for Sloan, a little NCR mining town to our West, which was still many miles away. Thankfully, the highway was flat--slightly downhill actually, so the journey wasn’t even hard on my legs. Mom and I would go hiking up to the old cell tower back in the day, and I’d been keeping in decent shape by running the neighborhood almost every morning since then.

The others weren’t tiring either, which was refreshing. Tandi was so well exercised (and determined) that she could probably walk up a 90 degree slope, and Gram just seemed to be perpetually strolling through some sort of imaginary park. It wasn’t so much that he was fit, but that he saved his energy so well that it was almost supernatural.

Cook, on the other hand, was not big on hiking. I didn’t get the impression that she did any sort of dedicated exercises, and she was a lot heavier than any of the rest of us. So, she usually just sat on the top of the wagon, occasionally getting down and walking with us for a while. It was kind of fun to wave to her and shout back and forth from the ground to the top of the caravan though, so I didn’t judge.

Despite my ability to keep up, I still got the sense I was doing something wrong. The sun seemed to be getting to me a lot more than the others, which was strange considering how much time I spent outside. I was fanning myself off, taking little breaks behind the occasional shade-granting boulder, and even staying hydrated (despite our best attempts to run out our water reserves before we reached Sloan.)

So, I gave myself a mission: as we walked, I tried to look out for things that the others might be doing differently. At first, my search was fruitless--I didn’t notice anything different. We were all wearing long sleeves, (Except Cook, who was still wearing a sundress, and also keeping her back to the sun which I think meant she was taking my advice.) we were all walking at a comfortable pace, and we were all taking steps to stay hydrated. Then, as I was doing a quick scan, I noticed something-

H A T S

They all had hats!

Gram wore a bowler hat, Cook wore a baseball cap with a maple leaf on it (or sometimes a floppy hat,) and Tandi was rocking her ranger helmet. Did it really make that big of a difference? There was only one way to find out.

“Hey, Gram! Do you maybe have like, a hat I could use?”

Without even turning around, Gram chuckled at me- had he been expecting this? Did this happen to every new recruit or something? I felt a little bit like I’d failed another test.

“I was waiting for you to ask. Yeah, I got a few choices. You wouldn’t believe the difference they make!”

So he had been expecting this! I tried not to look forlorn as Gram stopped the Brahmin, opened up the back of the wagon, and ushered me inside.

I hadn’t ever seen the inside of the thing. The frame of the wagon was made of wood, I noted, and it had open sides, but Gram had covered it in brown-colored blankets, except for the place where a spigot for getting water stuck out the side of the wagon. The doors in the back weren’t locked in any sort of way, although there was a bar that Gram had to slide so that they could open up, probably so that it wouldn’t come open by accident.

Inside, there was a big black box- in fact, the frame of the wagon had been slightly modified to hold the thing, it was so big. The box was clearly locked, and it took up almost all the space inside the wagon. In the space that the box didn’t take up, there was a machine gun, a laser rifle, cooking supplies, some sort of emergency-medical-supplies box that I was pretty sure was made to hold stimpacks, a bunch of tangled up electronics that I wouldn’t even try to identify, and a few hooks with spare clothes hanging on them. At the tip of each hook was a hat or helmet, bobbing pleasantly as the wagon came to a complete stop.

“Well, Isaac, take your pick- if you can’t reach it, we can get Tandi,” said Gram, indicating the helmets in the very back of the wagon, a space that was hard to reach on account of the massive black box. I gave it a kick.

“What’s in here?” I asked. Gram shrugged.

“The NCR wouldn’t tell me- they just said that it was important, and sent me on my way.” He leaned over like he was getting ready to spill me a secret. I gave him my ear. “They promised me a hundred-thousand caps for this. None of those NCR dollars- good, solid caps. And a hunded thousand, do you know what that could buy? That’s enough to disrupt this economy in a big way. That’s more than I’ve made on every other shipment combined.”

Normally, I didn’t think much about money, but I had to admit that the number floored me. The things that a man could do with a hundred-thousand caps…

Of course, it was the NCR offering the money, so I was pretty sure Gram was going to get fleeced somehow. They would impose some ridiculous tax on his payment, or just plain sweep him under the rug, since the whole deal had presumably been made in secret. That was how the NCR operated- it was part of why the Followers had been so reluctant to work with them, and why father had hated them so much. And to be honest with you, I couldn’t disagree with him. The NCR wanted a police state, and freedom wasn’t something I took lightly. I figured that people don’t need a bunch of jackbooted thugs with barking-irons telling them how to live their lives, when they had been perfectly content before. Raiders were a problem, sure, but the NCR had really only made the problem worse by acknowledging the issue and then failing to do anything about it.

Of course, the NCR was also the only thing keeping the legion from coming in and killing us all, so I tolerated them for that. No matter how much the NCR might’ve sucked, they were better than Caesar’s Legion. At least some of them thought they were doing the right thing, even if most of them were hopelessly corrupt…

“Isaac? You gonna choose a hat?” Asked Gram. He only seemed a little bit bothered.

“Yeah, of course. Sorry,” I murmured, and started scanning the hats on display. There was a floppy hat, a tan ballistic helmet, an old firefighter-helmet, a police cap, another floppy hat...

“I’ll take the fire helmet,” I said, and pointed at the scratched grey helmet that shared a hook with a bomber jacket and a couple of sundresses. It didn’t have quite the same sun-blocking properties as a floppy hat, or the safety features of a ballistic helmet, but I’d worn a fire helmet before and it seemed like it would perform both roles fairly well.

“Alright. Can you reach it?” I nodded.

“Hell yeah I can reach it!” Though it was on one of the farther hooks, I compensated by pushing myself up to the top of the black box with one hand, and reaching for the helmet with my weird hand. I wasn’t tall enough to pull it off the hook, so instead I knocked it off from the bottom and grabbed it from on top of the black box. Once I had secured it, I let myself slide down.

“Got it,” I muttered, and slipped the helmet on. Because of some convenient rigging inside the helmet, it was surprisingly snug on my head, though I could feel it bob a little when I moved.

“Well, it’s loose for sure, but it’ll give you some good shade. Has your decision got anything to do with the thing on the front?” he asked, poking me in the center of my helmet with his finger, right where the emblem sat. I nodded sheepishly. Part of the reason I had picked it was, indeed, on account of the cool blue star of life on the front. I knew I wasn’t anything like the paramedics of the past, but I had considered them to be a sort of ideal when I was younger. Since then, I’d never quite shaken the idea of being like a pre-war medic.

“Well, come on, let’s not lose any more time. We’re closer than you might think,” he said, leading me out of the wagon. He shut the doors, and looked over the caravan with a big grin.

"In fact, riiiiggght around this bend, we’ll be able to see Sloan. We’re booming along today, just absolutely killing it! Who knows- maybe we can even get back on the road after we stop,” he continued, clearly trying to get a rise out of us. On cue, Cook groaned obnoxiously, and Tandi mumbled something about armor plates and sweat. I groaned too, but my heart wasn’t in it- I was on this journey to save mom, and the quicker it went, and the fewer hitches we ran into, the more successful I was likely to be.

“Sloan-Ho!” shouted Cook as the cart rounded the bend in the highway that had been necessitated by two giant, rocky hills. Tandi snorted at that, and I gotta admit that I smiled a little too. The town of Sloan, though still far away, was now straight ahead.

New Vegas was a long ways away from here, but I was glad that we were already making so much progress. Considering how well things had been going, it was all too easy to forget that I was on a tight, invisible timer, slowly counting down to, “too late.”

[+]

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