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#fanfic spoilers?
hoonharpoon · 6 months
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Realistically, in the apocalypse, the survivors would most likely have to eat canned goods or fresh meat, right? They were always being hunted down, I assume fruits and vegetables were a luxury.
So if the survivors ate meat, what did the Krang eat?
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starclast · 5 months
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Context: mistletoe 😉
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redactedrem · 14 days
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Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.
Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.
He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.
He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.
Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"
"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.
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prokopetz · 4 months
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"Walter White would never" Walter White helped the cops catch his own criminal alter ego because they were about to blame his crimes on the wrong guy, and he couldn't stomach the thought of someone else taking credit for all the terrible things he did. That's the beauty of Walter White as a character, at least from the perspective of transformative fandom: he would. He's such a ridiculous man that literally nothing is out of character for him, provided you can contrive some circumstance where doing so would serve his ego.
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yesokayiknow · 4 months
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they try, honestly they do, but the doctor isn't a stationary creature and never has been, especially not when they know there's something they could help with. which is to say, it takes a week of soft quiet life before he starts begging kate for a job. kate in turn withstands three weeks of the doctor's incessant begging and big puppy dog eyes while donna noble stands right behind him and mouths don't you fucking dare before she makes a counteroffer: he can work in a lab (the 'very far away from active duty' is implied) as long as he meets with unit's therapist.
and he refuses, of course, loudly and profusely, right up until donna very gently but very firmly tells him that it really could help, actually.
so. therapy. the doctor assumes it won't do anything. the unit therapist is no nonsense and unflinching and very very bright, and twenty minutes later the doctor sits outside the room hyperventilating while kate finishes paperwork and kindly doesn't mention the way he's all but curled into her.
the second session ends much like the first, and the third, and then the fourth he walks out with dry eyes and a tremulous smile. the fifth, kate calls donna and she takes him home and they drink hot chocolate and he doesn't start talking again until the next day. it takes him seven sessions to be able to stay in the room for the full hour; kate pats him on the back and then finally allows him to build a shield for her office as a reward. she sits outside the therapist's office every time he has a session, even though she has to have better things to do. they don't talk about it.
unit only has files on things the doctor's done on earth, and even then, only sometimes, which means that when the doctor talks about some things he just. edits, a little. talks about two weeks in a confession dial and a month in prison, because maybe then he doesn't have to think about the enormity of it all. and every single time he does this, the therapist looks at him and very kindly calls bullshit. it's weird, being known. it's different with donna. he is donna and donna is him, in ways they will probably never talk about. but he sits in that cluttered little office for an hour a week (sometimes two or three times, if he's doing particularly badly) and he feels seen.
after four months, there are memories he can touch without flinching, and people he can talk about without crying. he starts spending a couple of hours just sitting in the vortex, not because he's hiding or running but just because he likes the way it feels against his skin. he cooks dinner every other night and washes up when he doesn't. he takes out the bin every week even though it's rose's job, because he loves her. and he can say that now, and he doesn't think about her short lifespan or about all the other people they've loved and lost. he can say that and just mean it.
part of his contract is an agreement to never offer a trip to a member of unit unless it's actual life or death (the small chemical leak in the lab doesn't count; he takes shirley to new mars anyway) but he finds himself toying with the idea of asking for a session in the tardis. just once, just to see. the therapist looks at him and sees him and it is monstrous and they keep looking anyway and now the doctor can sit through a family dinner without wanting to tear his skin off and he doesn't know any other way to say thank you.
it's funny, almost, how quickly he grows attached to this person who picks through his hurts and rifles through his traumas and holds direct eye contact while doing so. the doctor talks about their deaths and their crimes and their cowardice and the therapist nods and asks him how he feels and it's. it's terrifying. it's beautiful. it's the worst thing he's ever ever been through, and the best. he feels ripped apart and put back together in a way that few people have ever been able to— huh.
after his sixty eighth session (he's unable to not keep count) the doctor walks outside to where kate is annotating a schematic and says, thoughtfully, they're the master in disguise, aren't they. and kate says oh 100% and please don't let them know that you know because they will definitely go to the second stage of whatever long con they've been hatching and they're too good at this for us to let them go
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I can just hear him saying this
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aritks · 5 months
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I bet he was crying inside of happiness.
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jaypentaghast · 7 months
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I love them please bring them back to meeeee
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froopa-coopa · 3 days
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love a canon (?) coffee shop AU
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appleteeth · 7 months
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I cannot believe they had a back-from-the-brink-of-death, 'come back to me my love', choosing life or death in purgatory, dragged down into the depths, hearing Stede's voice, fighting to get back to him, mermaid!Stede coming to the rescue, Stede staying by his side and crying, begging him to wake up, reunion.
David you fucking mad lad.
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hoonharpoon · 7 months
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look away if you're not okay with blood/gore!
I mean it frfr. It's not graphic, but y'know.
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Teasing image for a spooky fanfic starring Raph! It was also good color practice, since I'm trying to be better. Also it sucks that colors vary from monitor to monitor, because it looks BANGING on my laptop.
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imakatperson22 · 11 days
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Eddie: Kicks the 3rd woman he’s dated out of his house because of repressed catholic guilt after avoiding having sex with her.
Buck: absolutely flailing as a baby disaster bisexual and sending his date running for the hills before they even finish their meal.
Chris, “out of town” somewhere, sitting on a curb and smoking a cigarette: Jesus Christ, these two fucking idiots…
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seoups · 3 months
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yuji itadori bf texts!
a/n: loved this request so freaking much! feel free to submit requests or just talk to me in the asks!
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prokopetz · 5 months
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"Sephiroth doing paperwork" gets treated like a funny meme about the peculiar fixations of fanfic writers, but if you think about it, the guy's job – at least pre-losing-his-shit – is to somehow be a corporate middle manager and a cop at the exact same time, both professions which are notable for the unbelievable quantities of bullshit paperwork they generate. He would absolutely be filling out Form 27-B.
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rreids · 15 days
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PRACTICE RUN • S. REID X READER
fluff, based on a scene at the end of 1 x 04 , going on a platonic date with spencer (for him to know what it's like) that becomes very real, kissing, silly little facts (again, very loosely verified, read everything i say ever with a grain of salt), ~1.3k
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“Spence?” You ask, glancing at the clock on your nightstand. It’s 10:30, everyone had left the BAU around 8 after finishing up paperwork on the latest case. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong, exactly,” Spencer mumbles. “You know how I went to that baseball game with JJ? Last week?”
”Yeah. You have fun?”
”Yeah. I mean, I guess.” He sighs. “I think Gideon meant for me to ask her out like a date,”
”Did you want it to be a date?” You sit up slowly, tugging your blanket over your knees and putting your phone on speaker so you can rest your cheek on your propped legs.
”No.” He pauses. “But I want to know how to ask someone out. In case I ever want to in the future.”
”Well,” you stretch and yawn a little. “Do you want me to explain it?”
”Would you?” You can perfectly imagine the way his face lights up from the way his voice pitches up alone.
”Of course, Spence,” you smile. “The best thing to do is make your intentions clear. Either have established that you like them, or make it clear when you ask. Try to ask them to do something, just the two of you, that is a shared interest between you two.”
He hums.
”For example, you like film viewings and stuff, right?” He mumbles a soft agreement. “So, it could be something like ‘Hey, I got tickets for this movie on — and then whatever day —, I was thinking the two of us could go. I’d like to see it with you.’”
”That easy?”
”That easy. Sometimes I like to say ‘it’s a date,’ when they agree, just to make sure they’re clear on my intentions. Never a bad idea to be explicit in your communication.”
”You go on a lot?” He asks curiously. “Of dates, I mean. You said that’s something you like to say,”
”Not recently, but in college,” you smile softly. “Not everyone was 16 when they were in higher education,”
Spencer chuckles. “You’re right. Are they any… fun?”
”You don’t know?”
”No one ever asked me out. Or maybe they did. I’m not good at that type of stuff. What do people even do on dates?”
”Talk,” you chuckle. “Enjoy one another’s company. Really, it’s just any old hangout with different emotions.”
Spencer sighs, voice petulant when he speaks again. “Emotions are confusing,”
”I have an idea,”
“What is it?”
”How about I take you on a practice run date? So you know what it’s like.”
”Isn’t that weird?”
”If you make it weird,” you tease. “It’s up to you. We’ll treat it like a date but go as friends, just so you can get used to that type of environment and its expectations,”
Spencer clicks his tongue, and you picture him pursing his lips in contemplation. “You promise I won’t feel weird?”
”I can’t control your emotions, Spence, but I promise to treat you like normal.”
He’s silent for a bit. “Okay.”
“Okay,” you repeat with a smile. “I’ll plan everything. Just tell me if you change your mind,”
.°. ݁₊ . ݁ ⁺₊
When you and Spencer finally have time, it’s when you’re off work for a day after a rough week in Montana. He’s dressed pretty normally, but he took more time than normal to try to tame his hair, and he’s fidgeting with the cuffed sleeves of his undershirt as you walk up.
“Spencer,” you call and he looks up, smiling nervously. “You ready?”
“What exactly should I be ready for?”
“I decided we should go to an aquarium. That okay?”
“We have a shared interest in fish?” He asks, incredulous, recalling you saying a date had to be something both parties liked. “It’s fish.”
“The information,” you poke his side. “You like learning. It’s cool, I promise. And you can even point at the ugly fish and say they look like me.”
Spencer tilts his head. “Why would I do that? You’re not ugly.”
You smile, unsure of how to respond. “Come on.”
He listens, and it’s a little awkward, him silent and studying you. There’s so much tension that you’re unexpectedly and uncharacteristically a little quiet, looking at the way the cyan lights in the tanks flicker and reflect in his eyes, making them into inky pools of brown, black, and bluesin the low lighting.
You realize he looks pretty… cute.
“Spencer,” you whisper, snapping him from his laser focus on a sign about knobbed whelks. “You’re meant to talk to me.”
“Sorry,” he whispers back. “I just—”
“Think they’re cool?” You ask lightly.
“Yeah.”
“You want to go see the otters?” You question, grabbing his hand in yours. “They hold hands like this when they’re asleep, so they don’t drift apart and lose each other.”
He stares down at your hand, mouth dropped a little as you dragged him. “Is that why you’re holding mine? So I don’t get lost or separated from you.”
“Yeah.” You grin at him and he smiles back, letting you pull him along.
The otters are cute, and he’s fascinated by them. “I never knew they were so vicious…” he trails off as he reads the sign, looking at one with big round eyes that stares at him through the glass.
“Maybe we can profile our next unsub as an otter.”
Spencer snorts. “Yeah, whenever we get a killer who throws their victims on rocks repeatedly. That’d be a signature.”
You smile and look at his profile in the glowing light.
“What?” He asks, shying from the intensity of your gaze.
“People normally look at the person they’re on a date — fake… date — with.” 
“Do they always look this intently at them?”
“Sometimes,” you fix his collar where it’s flopped over a little. “When they want to kiss them,”
You trail your fingers from his collar over his neck briefly before dropping your hand, and you feel his pulse racing.
“Do you kiss people on fake dates? Or practice dates?”
“Most people don’t go on those, Spence. But normally, you ask if you can kiss the person — through body language or verbally, and kiss them.”
Spencer falls quiet, following you towards the sharks slowly before catching your wrist in a dim part of the corridor, and you can barely make out the way his tongue darts over his lower lip.
“How does that body language look? So I can identify it,”
Your heart races, and you step closer to him, breathing in the scent of his cologne. Your eyes partially close just from the anticipation. You let your hands rest on his shoulders, meet his gaze before lowering it to his lips and dragging it back on, curling your fingers on his collar. “Like this.”
Spencer swallows, and moves his hands shakily to your waist.
He waits for you to look at him, and then copies you, eyes falling to your mouth before sliding back up your face.
You kiss him and he startles a little, stiffening under you before sighing and awkwardly trying to match you.
His eyes shut instinctively and remain like that even as you pull back, cheeks so red you can see it despite the lack of light.
“I don’t know… how… to kiss.” Spencer mumbles. “I’ve read a lot, but you’d be surprised how little there is other than facts that roughly 60% of couples tilt their heads to the right to kiss, and that many recipients of kisses will tilt to the right if the person kissing them is doing—”
You kiss him again.
“Later, Spencer. We’re on a date.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “A real one?”
“Unless you kiss everyone you hang out with, yeah,”
“No, no, I don’t.” He clears his throat. “But did you know it’s—”
“Safer than shaking hands when it comes to the amount of pathogens transferred. I know.” You hold his hand firmly in yours. “Now we’re doing both.”
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not proofread, like always. i'm trying to improve my characterization still so please forgive that it's still clumsy. i am also a stickler for cute awkward spence so. expect that too
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