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diffractor · 2 years

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The A-button Challenge: The Bully Battery Plan

So, I’ve been lurking on the A-Button Challenge discord (check previous post), and as a result, can speak fairly authoritatively about the currently extant plans to save one or more A-button presses, taking the number of A-presses to get all 120 stars in Super Mario 64 down from 19 to 14. These 5 planned saves can be neatly divided into two chunks. There’s the two “Bully Battery” saves, and the three “Past Pole 0x” saves. It is fair to describe both of these two plans as the most complex plans ever assembled in any TAS of any game, 3 years in the making for the Bully Battery one that I’ll be describing. If you’re curious, no, a 0xA 120-star run is definitely not happening. Maybe the A-press count could drop to, like, 10 eventually, if you apply a slightly unreasonable amount of optimism to the prospects of the 14 A-presses without plans. But A 0xA 70-star run (a standard completion of Super Mario 64, in 0 A presses) is only blocked by one single A-press left that hasn’t been saved yet. And it’s one of the five with plans. That one goddamn pole in Bowser in the Fire Sea (BitFS from now on)

So, I should mention that this one has sorta kinda has been saved. There’s an oscillating platform below the pole, and for the port of SM64 to the Wii, there’s a rounding error bug that wasn’t present on the original game, which means that the error in that platform position keeps accumulating. So, if you wait for three days, the platform eventually floats high enough to make it past the pole in 0 A presses. Problem 1: The Wii version of SM64 lacks a glitch present on the original Japanese version that lets you save 3 Japan-exclusive A presses, and so a solution that works on that version must be found. Problem 2: When watching a TAS of Super Mario 64 completed in 0 A presses, the gaming populace want to watch arcane wizard Mario push the game to its limits. They want to behold the adventures of a plumber capable of extraordinary feats of black magic glitchery, and perfected inhuman movement, but who skipped too many leg days so he won’t be jumping. They do not want to watch a “”“speed”””-run where there’s an hour and a half of Mario doing exactly that, and then 3 days of Mario lazing about waiting for rounding error to accumulate. This is because it would suck ass. So, a better way must be found, to get Mario further up in the level, past the pole. Said better way relies on three key pieces of information. Number 1: When Mario is on a tilting or rotating platform, the tilt or rotation is applied for one extra frame. If Mario is going stupidly fast so that on that extra frame Mario is very far away from the platform, then... applying the rotation matrix to a Mario very far away from the origin results in Mario moving a whole heck of a lot. Possibly up? That would get Mario past the pole. Number 2: BitFS has a tilty rotaty 3d platform that’s complicated enough that the developers rolled their own code for it. And as a result, they slightly fucked up their rotation matrix. Said platform almost always displaces Mario down instead of up, when he tries doing the aforementioned speedy rotation trick. Key word, almost. At certain extreme tilt ranges, the fucked up rotation matrix is capable of tilting a speedy Mario up, as desired. Number 3: BitFS has bullies. They are an enemy that bumps you. The game physics for this is very nearly an elastic collision simulator. But perfectly elastic collisions didn’t look aesthetically pleasing enough, so the programmers changed it a bit to make the impacts aesthetic. That change violates conservation of energy. And you know what that means! You can CHARGE UP UNLIMITED ENERGY. So, the basic plan is to charge up a large thermonuclear bomb worth of energy in the bully, use that to yeet Mario at 10% of lightspeed from the tilty platform, and then the small rotation matrix error is amplified by Mario being 1000 kilometers away in the next 1/30th of a second, giving Mario sufficient height. Then Mario just has to navigate through the Parallel Universe Grid at low-relativistic speed to land back in the main universe and kick Bowser’s ass. Princess Peach doesn’t appreciate how good she has it. Isn’t this just so much better than waiting around for 3 days? This is extremely far from easy, though. The strategy was beset by seemingly fatal problems from the start, and only Tyler Kehne had the ambition to see it through to viability. Problem 1: How do you trap a bully? You need to hold it in place, somehow, while still having the game register it as traveling at high speed, in order to accumulate energy. Problem 2: If you’ve got your bully trapped, then each time Mario hits it, only adds a constant amount of energy each impact, so to get a thermonuclear bomb’s worth of energy stored up, it’s going to take a unreasonable fuckload of time. Problem 3: The bully-trapping spot isn’t at the weird tilty platform. Once the bully is charged, you need to move it from the bully trap, to the tilty platform. It’s got relativistic speed, though, which is incompatible with “gently move the thing”. Problem 4: When the bully is going fast and hits Mario, Mario’s vast speed is entirely eliminated on the very next frame by bonking against thin air since he’s moving way too damn fast. You can’t get the energy out of the bully in a useable way. Problem 5: The platform can only displace you upwards at very extreme tilts that are hard to achieve in practice. Also, you can get around Problem 4 with a trick called squish canceling, but that requires you be under the platform. Every instant you’re off the platform, it’ll adjust back to normal, and this will very rapidly eliminate the rare sensitive upwards-displacement angle you need. So basically, going off the platform to get the speed from the bully, means that you unavoidably fuck up the platform angle. Problem 6: Charting a return route through parallel universes at low-relativistic speeds, traveling further than the diameter of the earth.... Is kinda hard. Especially because of your 1/30th of a second movement granularity, and angle granularity. And double-especially if you know what the deal is with parallel universe movement, and why it might be difficult to chart the proper return path when you’re traveling thousands of PU’s each frame, at weird diagonal angles. Solution time! Problem 1... yeah, there’s bully traps. There are different sorts of traps for different speeds, I don’t really understand it that much. Gotta dig deep into bully physics there. But it’s definitely doable. Problem 2 and 4: The Slow Bully Battery (SBB) builds energy a constant amount each iteration. Mario repeatedly whacks a stationary bully. But there’s another thing, the Fast Bully Battery (FBB), where, basically... the high-speed bully hits Mario, and on the same frame Mario gets squished by a ceiling, canceling the bonk, and then the squish itself gets canceled the next frame after that, so Mario retains the energy, and if Mario can then hit the bully again without slowing down in the meantime, it transfers the energy back to the bully at a 2.5x or 3x speed multiplier! Doubling or tripling the speed every single iteration can get you up to relativistic speeds exponentially faster than adding constant energy each iteration. It’s hard as shit to do, though. Problem 3: When a bully’s position on the next frame is out of bounds, it will reflect off out-of-bounds, changing direction, and gravity is not applied for that frame and the next. This means that when a bully is going fast enough that, on every frame or every other frame, it’s reflecting off of out-of-bounds, it’ll just... stay floating in air, gravity doesn’t apply. Also, there’s a very strong tendency for the bully movement to end up in semistable attractor states at these speeds, where it reflects off of parallel universes in a simple repeating pattern. This is called Hover Speed. Bully movement simplifies drastically at this stage, it’s quite easy to control, you don’t have to worry about gravity, you don’t have to worry about trapping, you can get it to where you want it to go, you can even do FBB iterations easily. It initiates at around Mach 7. Problem 5: This whole raft of shit is called the Final Speed Transfer problem. Or the FST for short. It’s the hardest part of the whole thing. I’ll be detailing the solution insanity later, but I can’t believe it’s been solved. Problem 6: Yeah, that’s a rough one. Get a computer to do it instead of doing it by hand? And so, roughly, the blueprint for the overall plan looks like this: Step 1: Get the bully to the appropriate location. Easy. (starting phase, <1 minute). Step 2: Trap it and start doing slow bully batteries to the appropriate speed needed. In the best case, it might be only a few minutes. In the worst possible case, it’ll be a full 24 hours. There’s a difficult sequence of steps to hit the bully with lots of speed to make this part go way faster, but noody’s figured out how to do it yet. (SBB phase, 1 minute best case, 24 hours worst case) Step 3: Do the first few fast bully battery iterations, doubling or tripling the speed each time, until hover speed is reached. Use bully traps, raising glitches, and overall cleverness here, to deal with the gigantic fucking headache of thousand-mph billiards with gravity and friction and slightly fucked up physics where you have to do extremely difficult glitches and never lose the ball. Expected to be an absolute nightmare and hard as shit. (Initial FBB phase, <5 minutes?) Step 4: Now that you’re at hover speed, you are afforded a much greater degree of bully control and further fast bully battery iterations are quite doable, doubling or tripling the speed each time to quickly raise the bully from mach 7 to relativistic speeds, and send it off to where it needs to be. (Hover Boosting Phase, <2 minutes) Step 5: Go on the platform and get the energy out of the bully while not fucking up the platform rotation angle in the process using UNFATHOMABLY COMPLICATED BULLSHIT WORKAROUNDS, then blast off to the Parallel Universes at 0.1 c. “The most complicated two seconds in any speedrun of any game”. (Final Speed Transfer, <10 seconds) Step 6: Return from the Mario multiverse at low-relativistic speeds. Get your computer to help you out on this one, this is not for humans. Apparently there’s a glitch called 1-frame crouchsliding that’s very handy here? I don’t understand it. (PU Return, ~1 second) So, how’s the team doing on this magnificent plan? Well... the problem needs to be worked in reverse. Bruteforcers must be coded for many steps in this process, and the overall problem needs a strategy of, like, finding initial conditions that get step N to work out, and making those initial conditions the optimization target that step N-1 is trying to hit, and working backwards. Not many people have the Mario knowledge and the coding knowledge at the same time. But it’s progressing slowly. So, here’s the deal with the steps, since we’re working backwards. Step 6, the PU return has had the brute-forcers coded up for it already, and it’s.. suprisingly doable! Lots of solutions, a nice rich solution space to work with, it’s basically solved. Step 5, the Final Speed Transfer... Tyler has solved it. I didn’t believe it. The explanation about how it works required, like, 15 steps, all in two seconds, and an appalling amount of glitches and subtle movement mechanics. Sadly, the solution required hitting three high-speed bullies instead of one (two of the impacts were to get across the platform in time before the tilt angle got fucked up). The plan was to find a firing solution where one high-speed bully would zip around the parallel universes in a chaotic pattern, doing relativistic ricochets off of the voids between them, to be in the main universe at the three exact right spots at the three exact right times with the three exact right velocity vectors. But as it turns out, this is an incredibly hard problem to solve, and they gave up after several months with nothing to show for it. But then, a breakthrough in the last two months! As it turns out, one of the bruteforcers revealed that there was a 1x6 cm sweetspot on the platform where Mario could stay on it at immense speeds to tilt the platform back into the right angle range, without rotation matrix fuckery declaring “oops, Mario is technically off the platform now, time to tilt it back to useless angles”. Everything works. And this means that two of the three bully collisions for the final speed transfer can be eliminated! They’re only there to get Mario across the platform fast enough, but if you can tilt the platform back to the right angle with the sweetspot, you don’t have to worry about “gotta go fast to not screw up the angles too badly while I’m off doing other things”. And so, with one bully collision needed post-breakthrough, the problem shifts from “have the bully zip around the multiverse to be in these three spots at the right times with the right velocities” to “have the bully be in this spot at this time, with this velocity”. much more doable! So we can move on to Step 4, the Hover Boosting Phase! Step 4, the Hover Boosting Phase. There’s a proof-of-concept for a single FBB iteration, the movement scripting tools are being worked on, and this part will probably go smoothly. Step 3, the Initial FBB Phase. This is expected to be absolute bullshit. It’s the hardest part besides the Final Speed Transfer. Nobody has any idea how long it’ll take to do this, as this phase hasn’t been engaged with that much. I expect at least three separate instances of a seemingly-fatal problem with this stage being defeated by a brilliant solution pulled out of Tyler Kehne’s ass. Roughly, the problem is figuring out how to do Fast Bully Batteries at all when hover speed isn’t drastically simplifying the problem for you. The worst case scenario is that this stage is impossible, and it’ll take a full 24 hours of Slow Bully Battery to charge the bully up to mach 7, to proceed with the plan. However, since Fast Bully Battery doubles or triples speed each time, and Slow Bully Battery adds constant energy each time, the last few iterations of FBB save most of the time. If only the last instance of Fast Bully Battery gets solved, that cuts the Slow Bully Battery time from 24 hours down to 4 hours. Two FBB instances being solved mean 35 minutes on battery duty, and three and four drop the slow battery time to 6 and 1 minutes, respectively. Step 2, the SBB Phase. Going to take some scripting work to have it flow nicely into the rest of the plan, especially if thousands of iterations are required because Step 3 went poorly, but expected to not be too much of an issue if Step 3 doesn’t completely fail. And Step 1 should be trivial if all else is done. So, that’s where we’re at. PU Return is solved, the Final Speed Transfer has had a big simplifying breakthrough and we’re just waiting on the scripting and bruteforcer tools to whip up a demonstration, FBB iterations past hover speed are expected to be easy when we get there, the first few FBB iterations are expected to be hard as shit and take ??? time, and things should be easily solvable from there. Oh right, one last thing. Presenting the absolute insanity that is the Final Speed Transfer blueprint. The simplified version, post-breakthrough, which still qualifies as the most complex 2 seconds in TASing. Most of the following is floating-point precise (ie, micrometer-precise if translated to real-world terms) Mario runs in arcs on the platform to build up speed (to get off the platform fast when needed), and get the platform tilted appropriately. Mario does a few pause-buffered dive recovers to haul ass across the platform and get there a few frames faster. Also, since Mario is within 4 cm of the platform when he does this, the platform will go “ah, Mario is on me, time to tilt” and we need all the tilting we can get. Mario lands with the control stick in neutral to instantly stop in place, as Mario is going too fast now, and the instant deceleration saves another 1/15th of a second. Mario walks very slowly for 1/30th of a second, putting him in a sub-pixel-precise spot on the platform called the NUT Spot. (Nonstatic Unit Truncation). The C-up button is pressed, to decelerate Mario, which cancels into idling, which, due to rounding errors in the platform rotational displacement, cancels into freefall off the platform. Gravity then applies to Mario, and then Mario applies direction adjustment in midair, to land back on the platform in the NUT spot, so then the platform is like “oh, Mario is on me, time to keep tilting”. All this occurred in one frame. This entire sequence of events with the NUT spot occurs 5 more times in a row, so for 1/6th of a second, Mario is having gravity continually applied to him, while being in a limbo state of being on and off the platform for the purpose of good platform tilting. Now, with Mario’s stored gravitational acceleration, he can fall off the platform fast, saving 2/15ths of a second of falling, decreasing the amount that the tilting platform tilts back to normal. The relativistic bully impacts Mario, and being below a ceiling, he can do the squish cancel speed transfer. Now, Mario can’t really move unless his next intended position is in-bounds, (it is not, currently) so the platform, in the process of tilting back to normal since Mario is off it, ends up tilting so Mario now technically counts as being on it. Mario is now in the 1x6 cm sweetspot where rotation matrix stuff doesn’t screw him over, and can just hang out there for 4/15ths of a second, as the platform continues to tilt. Then the platform tilts too far, Mario counts as off it, and then it tilts back in such a way that guess what! Mario is back on the platform again. Another 4/15ths of a second goes by, this “Mario’s off the platform and back on it” glitch happens again, and now Mario’s got... almost an entire second before the platform tilts so Mario falls off it for good. This luxuriously high amount of time, a full second and a half, is easily enough so that the platform tilt requirements are finally met, and Mario adusts his angle slightly to zip off to the parallel universes and get a good height boost. Sadly, Mario is flying forward, a sure ticket to getting stuck in an alternate universe, or crashing the game. But there’s one last glitch. The 10k glitch, so named because past 10,000 speed (around mach 9, and we’re well past that), Mario can instantaneously reverse his speed direction in a single frame. Mario redirects his relativistic speed backwards in an instant, to navigate back to the main universe with 1-frame crouchsliding. Finally touching down past the pole, in 0 A presses, the last A press to be saved in a full-game run. THIS IS THE FUCKING SIMPLIFIED VERSION OF THE STRATEGY, IT USED TO BE EVEN WORSE HOW IN THE HELL IS A PLAN LIKE THIS CREATED IS TYLER KEHNE A MORTAL MAN Oh, one last thing! Bully Battery plans also have promise to save another A-press, the one in Lethal Lava Land. Because there’s a bully there, and that means INFINITE ENERGY. That plan is much simpler. Partially because nobody’s really working on it yet, so the plan is missing a lot of details. The optimism without a concrete plan is because everyone’s like “well, there’s a bully there, and a bunch of really janky geometry and platforms to interact with, and we only need sub-sonic bully speeds because Hyperspeed Lava Boosting is a thing (and it looks incredibly cool). Fuck it, we’ll probably be able to whip something up after we get BitFS taken care of” Damn this was long.

#a-button-challenge

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demifiendcruithne · 2 years

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name: Tenacity Fischer

race: Tiefling (Levistus)

class: Warlock (Fathomless)

characterisation: A fisherman once lost in a stormy sea, doomed to die had not a being of the deep offered aid. The cost was steep, but he lived up to his name with his will to defy death, and accepted the deal. But as the only survivor, and clearly changed, his village refused to accept him, seeing a bad omen. He wanders now, ever determined to live an interesting life, no matter what others think or what his patron asks of him. He now has power greater than he could ever have hoped for back in the village - it would be a waste to settle for the life of a poor fisherman again. Though, he keeps his oar and hook as a reminder of his previous life; he doesn’t need them now, after all, able to snipe a fish with a blast of water at the blink of an eye. He is strong-willed, and a lover of freedom, often going out of his way to liberate those he considers unfairly imprisoned. His loyalty is to himself first, his patron second; he will however happily join up with groups that will take him, adventurers do tend to get into interesting situations, after all. Occasionally in a bout of insomnia, though, he wonders if it would have been better to reject the deal and die in the storm...

recommendations: Spell Sniper feat

inspiration: Kingdra now, first thought for Kingdra race would be a triton, right? but a lot of triton’s traits are also granted by fathomless, and the rest aren’t really relevant for how I see him. so why tiefling? first, I like tieflings, they’re interesting to design; more importantly, levistus tiefling gets some spells I consider pretty appropriate for Kingdra, as well as the fire resistance it deserves. fathomless is a pretty obvious choice, so let’s talk about spell sniper - of course because of Kingdra’s Sniper ability. 120 ft. ray of frost, 240 ft. eldritch blast - or 600 ft. with eldritch spear invocation, as well as (for example) 240 ft. chill touch or fire bolt from the feat (or both, warlocks get chill touch normally!), and that’s all cantrips! granted, you don’t get that much it can affect in the way of levelled spells, but doubling the range on ray of enfeeblement could definitely help out from a safe distance. just yeet things from afar, it’s fun! I have no specific recommendation for pact boon, although if taking tome I recommend the gust cantrip, or if blade, you could make the oar or hook your thematic pact weapon!

share link: https://www.heroforge.com/load_config%3D29487136/

#srd builds #dnd #dungeons and dragons #dnd character #character build #heroforge #tiefling #levistus tiefling #fathomless warlock #pokemon #johto #kingdra #expect a lot of gen 2 mons #they're highly underappreciated #and whoops I sort of nerded out about sniper #but seriously 600 ft eldritch blast can get some SHENANIGANS going

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skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru · 3 years

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I don't think Gojo will die. In the newest chapter (145), the brain was explained to have chosen to seal Gojo because as long as Gojo is alive, another 6 eyes user can't be born. 6 eyes users in the past have always defeated him, so the brain took steps to ensure there wouldn't be another one born. Gege also said there's no point for the brain to control Gojo, so there aren't any plans to kill him.

Therefore, it seems like the better plan would be to have Gojo sealed for eternity (and he won't die because time doesn't exist in the prison realm). Therefore, no 6 eyes user will appear to interfere with the brain's plans (there can't be two 6 eyes user in existence at the same time).

Gojo dying would only allow another 6 eyes user to be born (ignoring the fact that the brain couldn't even kill Gojo, as Gege said). And if a new 6 eyes user is born, the plan would have to reset into finding him and then sealing him for eternity just like they did with Gojo to prevent another 6 eyes user being born, which is redundant. Also, if the age of curses come and Sukuna is released, even if the students are somehow able to defeat Sukuna and the brain, the world will still have millions of curses running about. Gojo's the only one with the power scale to defeat all the curses that have sprouted within (possibly) a year, and Gojo could use his power to manipulate the higher ups into lifting the executions in exchange for his help.

There's a lot of ways Gojo could manipulate the higher ups and expose them for what they've done once he's returned, actually, considering the chaos. I think Gojo coming back and saving everyone could potentially bring a new age where people are more inclined to follow Gojo, especially because his students by the time he's escaped would have proved themselves to be capable sorcerers. Gojo could show his competence and ability to lead with his students as proof that a new curriculum for Jujutsu Sorcery is necessary and begin a new era. The turning point would be having his students defeat the thousand year old curse, the brain, and this feat would be impossible for the world to ignore as they would have to respect him and his students for it. This was what he dreamed about, wasn't it? Having educated students follow him and create a new world where people will then follow in his students' footsteps and so on and so forth.

Also, Gojo's the only one who can get the higher ups to do what he says (even if they go behind his back, they still hold off on executions because of Gojo. This shows Gojo has the political power (or persuasiveness/charm) to get the higher ups to obey). Getting rid of him was the only way the higher ups could do whatever they wanted, so having him back puts a wrench into their plans whether they like it or not (which is good for the story). Even if the students end up killing the higher ups, without Gojo, the students will have trouble leading a new era as they are still children.

Overall, Gojo's death would be angsty and make everyone mad, but even for the enemies, it seems like it would be more beneficial to keep him alive. I don't see how Gojo's death could improve the story at all (cause we know Gege only kills people off if they become useless or if it would help character development). It seems like both the good guys and the bad guys need him alive. And even for character development, Gojo's death has more consequences than any other character. The higher ups will be free to do as they please without worrying about him, the curses that have been in hiding for so long will emerge, a fate worse than the Hunger Games, aka the Culling Game, will happen as more curses and curse users appear and toy with humanity- and such a thing has already come to pass just by having him sealed. Unless the point of the story is like AOT where everyone dies and there's no happiness at all, just death and destruction, I think having Gojo's dream start to manifest itself through his students' hardships and growth would be an incredible ending. The whole point in having Gojo sealed, for writing purposes, is to give his students room to grow and develop. But like Nanami said, that maturity doesn't make them an adult. No matter the feat, they are still young- Megumi and Yuji are only 15/16. And what other adult could possibly help lead the students to a new world better than Gojo, who has been dreaming and plotting this for years?

- 🤔

OMG OMG PLS LET THIS BE SO you bring up alot of valid points which gives me hope. I never knew there could be only be one 6 eyes user alive. Then again having multiple people with 6 eyes would just make the things easy, like the curses already hear Gojo but more of people like him? Too overpowered. True while there is some speculation whether or not Gojo would die or not but I don't feel like gege would kill him without a grand purpose. Will Okkotsu Yuta be the next Gojo Satoru? Idk honestly this has been a recurring theme in the manga. Pls I'm so done with the angst if they yeet my boy Gojo it's going to crush my soul and I am definitely going be writing tons of fluff to hide how sad I really am lol sorry if what I'm saying doesn't make sense I'm lacking sleep and not caught up with the manga currently so feel free to ignore what I'm rambling about in the favor of out great 🤔 anon

THANK YOU I LOVE YOU 💙

#gojou satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #gojo discussions #skipps chat

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omegatheunknown · 3 years

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AEW Double or Nothing 2021

In which the spirit of WCW is alive in confusing and delightful ways and we are left to parse whether overbooking and extracurriculars are offset by having actually very good wrestling happening at the same time.

- Lessons learned from Revolution on the production side? Maybe just cool it on pyro, though the rappelling adventure in the Stadium Stampede showed some of that now-characteristic 'trust us it'll look better on TV' flair. Hot crowd tends to paper over most woes, and the crowd was pretty hot. My one gripe is that the casino theme is hanging around like yesterday's takeout containers. Nothing wrong with clinging to a theme, I just think it's time for season 2. My suggestion? Under the Sea.

*Pre-Card Serena Deeb (C) v Riho for the NWA Women's Championship (***1/2) - Serena Deeb's star has finally risen. She's a remarkably consistent technician and she can get a match out of anyone at this point. She's working at the level of Mercedes Martinez or Madison Eagles at this point, it's amazing that she was overlooked or considered fit only to be a coach for so long. With the NWA belt she has this new swagger, she's basically everything Tessa Blanchard might bring to the table with none of the downsides (Serena has a lot of friends and seems like a lovely person, even!) - Riho's back and here to stay. Her time in Stardom didn't do much for my evaluation of her, which is that there are many better wrestlers that would be better representatives of the joshi style and she's merely pretty good. - The match was very good. Serena showcased a champion's aggression against a sympathetic Riho, they really work well against each other, Deeb's technical prowess against Riho's flexibility led to a very dynamic finish.

*Main Card Hangman Adam Page v Brian Cage (***1/2) - Here the shenanigans start. Brian Cage is on Team Taz, Team Taz has nothing else much to do tonight, so why wouldn't Team Taz flex their muscles, bait us with HOOK, etc? (Because it would be nice to have some variety in the card in terms of a match where one competitor stands across from another competitor?) - Hangman is (checking notes) yeah, still over as fuck, as befits the Anxious Millennial Cowboy. Cage terrifies me, he's a child's drawing of a body builder. He do be very agile for a man of his immense musculature tho. They match up well, Page is biggish for a flyer, Cage loves to play catch. Nothing much to write home about, other than Hangman's beautiful moonsault to the floor and what was overall a very good curtain jerker. - Okay fine, I am curious about Cage's reluctance to lean on the goons, Starks can't come back soon enough.

The Young Bucks v Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston (***) - I will not be referring to Mox & Eddie as (The) Wild Things because it gives me 'he calls it the wacky line' flashbacks for some reason. - The Bucks have to cheat and abuse Rick Knox's attention span constantly to be on even footing with Mox & Eddie, which is a clever sort of thing that gets washed out by the appearance of LG and Karl Anderson, which again, is cool in a vacuum but was the story of the evening. - Pace was weird - repetitive in eliminating Eddie, then Mox fights back, failed hope spot, Bucks team up, Eddie saves x2/3 in a row. - Mox, unlike Cody (in so many ways,) will probably actually be taking some time off with Renee, which is the kind of thing I would prefer not to know in terms of booking, but they really uh, put him down on the canvas here, and it felt pretty finale-esque.

Casino Battle Royale (n/r, but on the balance pro) - Any changes to the theme of the PPV would likely include changing up the nonsense suit format of these largely joyless slogs. - Obviously anticipating a NJPW talent, or... I dunno, actually -- Lio Rush was a surprise. Got in a quick demonstration of his otherworldly quickness, and you know what, there's probably a fun place for him in AEW. He'll need some friends, of course, feel like Team Taz might fit his temperament. I wonder if he was aware of the Mark Henry news... - Christian does not need to win this kind of match to get a title shot, obviously, but that said it was super lovely to use him to give Jungle Boy the shine. Jungle Boy would be a license to print money if he was even as big as Hangman. - Could register some continued griping about how Penta is not getting his due in AEW but he also literally was dressed as the Joker so I'm low on sympathy on this one particular night.

Anthony Ogogo v Cody Rhodes (*) - I did not like this. It's hard for me to read jingoism as a face move to begin with, and Cody's was egregiously tone deaf and kinda silly yet delivered without a trace of irony because Cody doesn't do irony on purpose, ridiculous neck tattoo aside. - Great argument to be made that Ogogo just isn't experienced enough to be winning matches against Cody. But like, what are we doing here? Cody needs to take some time off, maybe. I thought that's what was happening when he had his mini feud with Penta that really just ended in quick decisive Cody win. I though maybe Cody was being turned when QT and The Factory snapped-- sure, they're a group of impotent player 2s, but Cody is an out of touch elitist with a callous and manipulative streak. Alas, also no. America #1. - Cody is approximately 8 times as tough as Billy Gunn based on his weathering of the one punch man. Match ran a bit long given how little there was to go on. Cody gigged? Quelle surprise. - Cody had the best match on the card like, 3 out of the first 4 AEW events or something, and that was all booking and storytelling. I do hope Cody follows Moxley's lead into a little sabbatical.

Miro (C) v Lance Archer for the TNT Championship (**1/2) - Card's hossiest hoss match, a quick burst reminiscent of a car wreck. Absolutely hit on what it should've hit on but a little slow moving considering it went all of 10 minutes. - I will not complain about Jake the Snake, who I love. And also the gimmick spot, with Miro very astutely yeeting what was definitely a snake in a bag (surely.) back down the tunnel.

Dr Britt Baker, DMD v Hikaru Shida (C) for the AEW Women's Championship (***) - Picked up a lot of steam toward the end but seemed a little toothless (heh) until the last five. - Shida 'deserved' some more time as champion in front of crowds but also it's time to let heel Britt reach her peak, I can't even imagine how obnoxious she can be as the champ, it's going to be great.

Sting & Darby Allin v Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky (***1/2) - Such is the power of STING that I feel like I might be underrating this match... I mean it was an okay match about very simply getting some revenge and the sixty year old man did a very subdued Code Red and a slightly less subdued dive. He's also Sting. They missed an opportunity in calling it the 'Scorpio' Death Drop, but the main takeaway here is you see something like this where it's The Icon and you start to understand why WWE trots out their legends to come out of incredibly still kick ass without bending their knees. - The difference, I guess, is that Sting is absolutely being used to build up Darby Allin, whereas it's not like the fed brought back Goldberg and his attendant aura to pump up... anyone but Goldberg?

Kenny Omega (C) v PAC v Orange Cassidy for the AEW World Championship (****) - Off the top I have to say I'm very sad that the rest of the Galaxy's Greatest Friends were seen only very briefly, nice of them to bring OC's backpack. - Also have to point out that PAC's promo featured one of my favourite jokes, that Kenny must be short for Kenneth as a sort of legal/birth name belonging to a professional wrestler. (See also: Samoa Joseph) - And Mr Cassidy certainly did try in this match, ragdoll sells and all. Kenneth and PAC are absurd talents who bring aerial, power and technical maneuvers in equal measure and OC is not doing any of those on the same level, but he picked his spots, showed his genre savvy and hung in there to the point that he wasn't just the fall guy. - The extracurriculars continue in a match that was already a little overboard for silliness due to asymmetry... I think if you're the Invisible Hand it would've made sense to save up all your tricks for this match, but who am I to question the golden goose? - Sure, Kenny and Don ran the classic heel manager interference spot and taking out the ref in desperation spot but having to take out the ref because PAC wouldn't break the hold is fun, as is the stupid/inspired sense in running the 'smash opponent with the belt' spot four times so as none of your heavy gold prizes feel left out. (I love that AAA Mega Championship, they weren't on TV so we get to see it?) - "Fuck You, Don," indeed.

The Inner Circle v The Pinnacle in 'Stadium Stampede II' (***1/2) - This one had to grow on me for two reasons, first that it's usually pretty unforgivable to co-opt the main event spot from the championship match, and second to law of diminishing returns on dumb gimmick matches. - But grow it did. There's a full on meat locker? Commentary will refer to a cardboard cut-out of Shahid Khan as Tony Khan's father (that's canon now,) and Jericho will lovingly pat it? Konnan happened to be the DJ at whatever night club there is a Jaguar Stadium? Spears surrounds himself dramatically with chairs and his hoisted by his own petard? - Ultimately it comes down to letting Sammy shine. His involvement with the Inner Circle has sometimes come at the cost of being able to showcase that prior to AEW he was an ascendant talent in PWG, on his way to Ricochet level feats of acrobatic excess. Still feel like Sammy could've/should've been the one tossed off the cage a few weeks ago, but even better is being the guy getting the pin in the ring.

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ratcandy · 3 years

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UHHH THE SECOND IDEA FIRST

OKAY Time's disastrous universe let's get it boys

Below is a VERY long personal-story related ramble because a lot happens here and there's a lot to explain and I'm being enabled (c/w death, a LOT of memory erasure, Gods being idiots, and. If I need to add anythin else here someone better let me know hehehe)

feat some dumb lil doodles here n there because i felt like it

Exposition time first!

At the beginning of everything, eight universes were created, each differentiated by color. A Universe Owner is assigned to each universe, and that entity is then responsible for their universe's laws of reality, the lives of the characters, and... whatever else they decide to mess with. This is so I can allow myself a lot of freedom in making stories in many different areas n such without worrying about it following another story's rules >:)

Okay exposition time done! for now!

One day out of the blue, the God of Time decided that they wanted a universe all for themselves. They wanted to create life!! They wanted to make a world!! It'd be fun! It'd be a whole vibe!

So, against the wishes of the God of Balance, Time made a ninth universe and fruitlessly tried to keep it hidden from everyone else. This backfired instantly. A huge argument broke out between Time and Balance, as the latter was pissed, but Time won in the end and was allowed to keep their universe. Balance is just upset there's not a nice even number anymore. He'll get over himself eventually.

Straight up having a great time now, the God of Time went hogwild and fleshed out their universe to the best of their ability. Beautiful lush forests, stunning pink skies as if it were in a continuous sunrise, crystal-clear waters that glimmer ever-so-brightly!! Yes!! Pretty!! And immediately after, they created creatures!! And people! To inhabit their world!

Elegant flying beasts, colorful people of all shapes and sizes, bustling towns with trade and life and energy and!!! Yes! Yes!! Vibes!!

Time was living their BEST life.

But. Well. This is my story. things gotta go wrong now

SO! First, something to note about how the God of Time works:

Time's primary job is to keep the Time Fire from ever going out or touching the ground. The Time Fire is an eternally burning flame, forever shifting from vibrant color to vibrant color, getting bigger and burning stronger with every passing millennia. It also... y'know. Allows time itself to function. If it goes out, time will stop. If it touches the floor, time will go NUTS and parallel/alternate universes will go haywire, clashing into one another and messing up reality.

The God of Time, luckily, has powerful psychic abilities.. The tall mans just put the Time Fire in a sort of protective bubble, constantly floating above the ground, and left it in a temple at the center of their universe. Epic. All works out

Well. All SHOULD have worked out.

At some point, Time left their universe to have a meeting with the Gods, and on their way to Oblivion - often a meeting place for deities - they witnessed something Very Unfortunate.

One of the Universe Owners, Hesit (white universe), was being torn to pieces by an intruder in the higher realm. By killing and consuming Hesit, possession of the white universe was transferred to said intruder: a big asshole named Vexis. Time tried to confront Vexis immediately after. This was a mistake, as Vexis panicked and attacked Time. Seeing as Gods cannot die, Vexis instead trapped the god in his newly-acquired universe - binding him there forever.

So now Time is imprisoned in the white universe, lost and confused, not knowing how to get back out. And Vexis doesn't plan on telling anyone about this.

The other gods soon realize that Time has gone missing. Very soon, actually, because... well. With Time being swept away into the white universe and being held prisoner there, uhm. A certain something important isn't being held suspended anymore.

The Time Fire.

It hasn't fallen yet, but it's gradually sinking toward the ground, and sometHING has to get a hold on it soon!! Or HELL WORLD!!

Balance loses his MIND!! We have to do something about this before time becomes a catastrophic, unfixable disaster! And also we're missing a god!! This is not good!! At first, Balance goes looking for Time, but realizes he doesn't really uh... have the time to be doing that

So, in desperation, he searches his mind for possible solutions. He gets one, crazy idea, and practically begs the God of Death to help him pull it off. Death agrees, because this is the one (1) time Death acknowledges that the mortal realm being in danger might be a bad thing.

To put a long plan short, Balance used Death to turn the Goddess of Pain into a pseudo Goddess of Time.

Pain had previously been wreaking HAVOC, and Balance was NOT happy about it. Way too many mortals were dying, then not dying, then losing their sanities, then losing control of themselves, and it was just. Very messy. He didn't feel great about using her to replace Time, but he didn't have many options. And he needed someone to take over. So, he and Death worked together to erase Pain's memories and turn her into a Goddess of Time.

They couldn't give her psychic abilities, though. So, how'd they deal with the Time Fire? It now permanently rests on Pain/Time's back. As in, the flame is constantly burning her spine for all of eternity, steadily searing her flesh but never allowing her to die. She's grown progressively numb to it over many, many years, but that doesn't make it any less unfortunate for her.

Balance feels awful about this. Especially since Pain/Time doesn't remember who she was, and believes she's always been Time. This is how it's always been. The universe around her is one she made, one she owns. Anytime Balance stops by to visit (as Time cannot move now from the temple with the fire), she greets him so kindly, so happy to have company... and he just feels terrible, knowing what he's done to her.

Well... at least that's settled. This cannot possibly go awry in any way shape or f----

The new Goddess of Time is trying her best to make creations for her universe. After all, that's what she's always done! These are her children, essentially, and she needs to have more. This, uh... well, the Goddess of Pain was not made with creating in mind, rather destroying. So, despite her valiant efforts, half of her creations come out... a Lil Messed Up. But she loves them all the same and keeps them around!!! Even if they're... worse for wear, or not quite like the rest!! They're her children. Yea!

At some point, however, her creating takes a bit too much from other universes' energy, and a mortal from another universe just ends up appearing in Time's. His name is Dustivan, and he is reasonably confused. One moment, he was vibing with his sister and her wife, and the next-- where the hell is he. why is the sky pink. who is this block man approaching me

The block man in question is named Maurice, and he is a sort of guardian for Time's temple. The Time that's always been here. The Time that has always looked like that and never been any different! (All of the Original Time's creations had their memories wiped, too. This Goddess of Time is the only one there's ever been! That's your mother, see. There is no other Time. She created you. Don't worry about it)

Maurice greets Dusty under the assumption that this man is just another new creation, and is soon told that "Uh, no, I'm... from some place else? I have a family? And a home, elsewhere?" M. Maurice is a lil confused. But he asks Time about this.

Time has no idea what he's talking about, either, so Maurice just... calmly escorts Dusty away, promising to get back to him later. We'll figure this out, man, don't you even worry about it

Now, there's a bit here that's only loosely developed! That being Dusty's stay in Time's Universe! Lil man meets a lotta folks, gets used to this weird world he's living in, makes good friends with Maurice and Maurice's maybe-more-than-friends-:flushed: friend Arin, aaand has a great experience! Because Time's universe is incredibly serene and peaceful, even with the new management!

Straight up vibi--- oh no wait what's this

Somehow, Maurice, Arin and Dusty find out about the whole... thing that happened with the original Time, and Pain being turned into the new Time. Maurice and Arin get their memories back and freak out a little while Dusty is just standing there like "big rip on you guys I guess"

Shenanigans ensue and Maurice goes back to Pain/Time, thinking it'll definitely work out if he tells her everything that happened so her.

Hey so it doesn't work out

Pain regains her own memories, and becomes ABSOLUTELY PISSED OFF, shedding the form forced onto her and returning back into the Goddess of Pain. In her transformation, however, she shook the Time Fire from her back, screaming in the agony that caused her, and. well.

she hit the floor (she hit the floor) next thing ya know, time fire got low low low low low low

Time itself was sent into disarray. The God of Balance felt it happen, FREAKED OUT, picked up the God of Death and just BOOKED IT into Time's Universe, dashing toward the temple. But it... was no longer a temple! It was very much destroyed. Balance is faced with the rubble of the former temple, the Fire just chillin on the ground, Arin bleeding to death after being attacked by Pain, Maurice fretting and trying to keep Arin alive, and Dusty aboutta also fucking die because Pain is angry. Alongside the bodies of whatever other poor creations/people just happened to be nearby the temple when this went down. Which was probably quite a few, as the temple was almost always open to visitors.

Death and Balance did the exact same thing again, though with added struggle. Pain was reverted to Time, the Time Fire was yeeted right back onto her spine (followed by a shriek of... pain), and Balance practically collapsed onto the floor hoping to never get up again

Death, however, forced him up, gesturing to the creations around them and uh. hey. their minds. wipe 'em Balance was very tired by this point, but began wiping the survivor's memories, running into Dusty and realizing "hey wait a minute. you're not from this universe" and just kicking that idiot back to where he's supposed to be. might've forgotten to wipe that one's mind but uh i'm sure that's not important

And that's essentially the end of that plot thread! Life continues as if nothing happened, afterwards. Time was restored (though a fuckton of "discrepancies" are now notable throughout the universes, as if time went Wonky or something), the people are thriving, and Maurice & Arin... the latter of which did indeed survive... are wondering if there's something important they were supposed to remember.

nah. probably not

there's a few side stories with characters in Time's universe, including another survivor of the Pain Realizing Who She Is incident... though he got the hell outta dodge and managed to keep his memories. making him a sort of fugitive as Balance has to track that idiot down and fix that problem but!!! this is already a very, very long post, so. WOO

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humanmoodring-retired · 3 years

Text

Season’s Yeetings Pt. 1 || Blanche, Connor, Nadia (x2), Regan, and Kaden

TIMING: Present PARTIES: @harlowhaunted @connorspiracy @humanmoodring @kadavernagh @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Another exorcism. feat. Mav the Exorcist CONTENT: Self harm, suicide attempt (possession-driven)

If it could, Nadia was sure that her heart would be beating way too fast. She was… scared didn’t seem like it could properly encompass what she was feeling. Nervous and terrified and resigned in case things went wrong. And this could really go wrong. This could go terribly, actually, ending with not just a dead body but the wrong spirit also being destroyed. But she didn’t think she could handle being like this for much longer, and she knew that there was no way in hell Cordelia could be allowed to keep her body and do whatever she wanted with it. This had to end, no matter what. She looked around her apartment, covered in dust and messy as the day she’d walked out. This was the first time she’d been in it since the wards had been put up, and it hurt a bit to be back. This was somewhere that she’d once felt safe, comfortable. She didn’t know if she’d ever feel comfortable again if she made it out of this. But she needed to steel her resolve. She looked over at the others, gave them a nod and what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “We’re just waiting for Kaden and the exorcist, right?” And her body, of course, but that didn’t need to be voiced, did it?

Regan knew that she didn’t need to remind Nadia of what she had said in the cabin. It was as good as a promise, even though she couldn’t say the word. Nadia wouldn’t die alone. No matter what happened here today, Regan could at least give her that. And anything could happen. The first aid kit Regan had set on the counter was testament to that. Nadia didn’t want to acknowledge it verbally, but her tense expressions and manic pacing -- sometimes through the floor -- said what her words didn’t. She was terrified. In some moments, Regan allowed herself to be, too. This wasn’t how Regan wanted to come back to their apartment together, both of them ghosts of their former selves, but if today went in their favor -- and she would do anything she possibly could to see that it would -- one of them could be saved.

When Blanche and a young man who she assumed to be Connor arrived, Regan backed up to the opposite side of the room, staring across at them with a tight frown and black eyes. She didn’t greet them, but she wouldn’t shame them either. She didn’t have anger inside of her anymore -- not enough to speak -- but from an objective point of view, she did blame the two of them for Nadia’s current predicament. They would set this right, or they would face consequences. They both seem determined but anxious, focused with heavy steps and tight knuckles. Blanche, especially, seemed more an adult than she ever had before. Regan silently watched as some parts of the stage were set. Candles, salt, metal which looked dangerously like iron, and more. For her own contribution, she pushed the furniture to the sides of the room, creating an open space in the center. She could see all of their footprints in the dust, layered on top of each other and the ones she had left just a couple of weeks ago. When that was done, she went back to her wall, maintaining as much distance as possible from anyone who wasn’t Nadia. “Yes,” Regan replied, Nadia’s nervous smile melting through her a little, “Kaden said he would be ready at twenty after.” She checked her watch. Soon. “As for the-- I don’t know anything about them.”

Did it make him look better or worse to show up with homework? Photocopied pages lay folded in his back pocket, but he hadn’t dared pull them out in front of the others. He’d read them countless times anyway. Connor was more than grateful for the material’s Leah had copied from her archives for him, as well as everything he'd found while researching with Rio, but he still hadn’t managed to find anything that related to the exact situation they’d found themselves in. As far as he could tell, exorcising the wrong soul from a body just didn’t happen all that often. He supposed either he was that much of a fuck up, or Nadia’s situation was just that special. Regardless, he reckoned the older exorcist would know. “Do you know where Kaden found this bloke?” Connor asked nobody in particular. He wondered if it would be impolite to smoke a cigarette while they waited. He opted against it, since the woman with the dark eyes seemed ready to kill him at any moment. “I mean, I appreciate the help. I really do. I just wanna check what exactly we know about him.”

The somber expression on Blanche’s face couldn’t seem to leave, even as she entered the apartment and took a look at Nadia and Regan. “Hey,” she said in greeting, her tone flat. She couldn’t say much else. Blanche dropped her smaller bag on a piece of furniture and began to set up as much as she could - Blanche was conscious enough to keep the iron as far from Regan as possible. She glanced at Connor as he began to speak, pulling the long black bag she had on her back off. “He has his connections. I’m sure he’s adequate,” Blanche replied, though she was unsure too. Granny had instilled a distrust of exorcists in her from when she was young. She wasn’t sure how much of that was out of fear of being exorcised herself, but Blanche knew that a lot of people liked to masquerade with powers they didn’t actually have for the chance to get quick cash from desperate people. She unzipped the large bag, before pausing, with a frown. Warily, she announced, “I borrowed a shotgun from a friend,” she said, pulling it out. Well, really, she borrowed it from Stan, who was all too keen to give her a firearm after she got stabbed in his place of business. “It’s loaded with salt rounds. In case things get… Bad.” She glanced at the door, moving her equipment out of the way. “I suppose we’ll hear them.” She looked to Connor. “And we’ll feel Cordelia whenever she’s nearby.”

It had been so long since Kaden pulled up to Regan’s apartment, pulling up to park in front of the building felt strange and foreign at this point. Putain, he hated that. Still, there was a small sense of relief. This was finally almost over. “Welcome home,” he said to Cordelia as he led her from the car up to the top floor. It was eerie being here, even though there were plenty of people waiting inside. Maybe it was because of how abandoned the building felt now. Maybe it was because of how defeated Cordelia seemed, almost accepting of her fate. Almost. Didn’t matter. He carted her upstairs and walked her in. His heart caught in his chest as he looked around the room. Empty, cleared out, and covered in dust nothing like he remembered. It was strange to see it like this. It was strange, too, to see Regan in this context. Willingly, at that. Black eyes and distanced, it was almost easy to forget who it was. Almost. This wasn’t the return to this building he expected for both of them. He winced when he remembered what he’d done to Cordelia’s wrist. Nadia’s body’s wrist. Hopefully Regan didn’t think too poorly of him. But it was too late to do anything about it now. And if this worked, a broken wrist was the least of Nadia’s worries. Blanche was here, too. With a shotgun no less. He shot her a look but let it lie. And also some kid he assumed was Connor. He couldn’t see Nadia even if he wanted to. Now where the fuck was this exorcist?

“Howdy, folks,” the man with a mustache said as he walked through the door behind Kaden, tipping his stetson. “I heard we have a big here nut to crack.” He took a good look around the room and assessed the situation. “I see you all followed instructions. Thank you kindly, this set up should work just fine. Just fine.” He noted the handcuffed woman in the center of the room and made a quick guess that was the little lady in question. “Mr. Langley, good to see you again. I suppose some introductions might be in order. My name’s Maverick, but you can call me Mav.” He was told there was going to be a medium, another younger exorcist, and a banshee. He wasn’t sure what a banshee was doing in these here parts or what her particular interest was in this here ghost, but he wasn’t one to question. Not if he was going to rake and scrape himself together a handsome pay day out of this job. “First thing’s first. I believe a repossession is in order, is that the case here? No need to dilly dally if we’re all ready and raring to go. You all know the plan?”

“What a fucking gentleman,” Nadia snapped at Kaden as they walked into her old apartment. Good memories, she remembered. There was the cabinet where she stored all of her equipment, and that was the couch that she’d passed out on after a couple of good heist, and there was what was left of the kitchen table that she’d definitely destroyed on her way out of this place. She rolled her shoulders, felt Kaden’s knife shift from where she’d tucked it in the waistband of her jeans, the shirt covering it up. She’d just need to snap her handcuffs off like she had the last time this happened. Whatever, she could do it. She could do it. She looked around the room, glancing at the little banshee, the children, the shadow of her host. “Howdy, folks,” she said mockingly. “This looks like a party, huh?” When the mustachioed hombre walked in, she rolled her eyes and glanced at the shadow, at Nadia Diaz. Give me your best shot, she said with her eyes.

For her part, Nadia didn’t know what the hell she was supposed to do. This next part was on her, right? She had to get this started, wasn’t she? She was. Of course she was. But she was a bit nervous. Really nervous. Scared, maybe, was the right word. She gritted her teeth as she and Cordelia stared at each other, steeling herself. All she could see was her reflection in the mirror, grinning as she faded out of existence. Except Nadia couldn’t fade now. She couldn’t. She couldn’t. She stepped forward instead. “Right. I-- I repossess her, and you exorcise her out, right?” It sounded easy. This was her body, too. It was her body. She could do this. “Is there…” She trailed off as she looked at Cordelia. What a mess the two of them had made of her life. Looking in that woman’s eyes, her eyes, Nadia knew what she wanted. She wanted her fucking life back. “Is there anything else I should do?”

For a moment, Regan lifted herself from the wall when Kaden walked in, yearning to approach. But now wasn’t the time for so many reasons, and she was forgetting herself. Cordelia -- Nadia’s body -- was dragged in, wrist swollen under the handcuffs in a way that made Regan think it might be broken. Would Kaden have-- later, that was something to think about later. Once Nadia was in there again. So she stayed glued to the edge of the room, eyes flitting between Nadia, Kaden, and the shotgun that looked so massive and out of place in Blanche’s small hands. There was only one more person they were waiting on now, and just as Regan thought it, their final party member swung into the room looking like a man straight out of a spaghetti western, but far scrawnier. He appeared almost as malnourished as that child Blanche and Kaden were friendly with, Rio. But despite his protein deficiencies, his mustache still glistened under the dull lightbulbs -- which Regan suspected wouldn’t be there long considering her own track record -- and he seemed energized and ready. Where on earth had Kaden found this man?

“Hello,” Regan said in response, her first words to anyone other than Nadia, “What are your credentials?” She bore into him, not stepping any closer. Was Nadia really ready to pour all of her trust and hopes into this? Regan looked over to her friend for a moment, seeing her fear and tenseness. She offered a hand, though she knew Nadia couldn’t exactly take it; maybe it would still be enough. “I’m Regan. I’m here for Nadia. I’m a-- I was a doctor. I will not let anyone die here today.” As for Mav’s question, she had no answer for him; she’d leave that to Blanche and Connor to answer. She relayed her friend’s concerns instead, in case Mav or others were unable to hear her. “Nadia is wondering if there’s anything she should do.”

Connor's eyes widened as Blanche drew the weapon. "You bloody Americans and your guns," he sighed, but they could have done worse in this situation than a rocksalt shotgun. It was powerful, yet non-lethal, at least at the right distance. "Just be careful. Get too close and you'll blow her fucking chest out even without actual bullets." Thankfully, Kaden and Cordelia's arrival saved them from further conversation about the weapon. "Oh, you're as lovely as ever, darlin'," Connor scoffed, his confidence boosted by the presence of the others in the room. Kaden seemed as gloomy and squinty-eyed as the last time Connor had seen him clearing Snicker-Snackers out of his apartment, yet this time, the weight of his bad mood was far, far heavier.

Connor stood as the final man walked into the room, raising an eyebrow as if this was some type of bloody joke. He imagined this was what John Wayne would look like as an exorcist. "Mav," he repeated, extending his hand. "Y'alright, mate? I'm Connor. I'm gonna be helping you out with this one." He was glad he wasn't the only one who wanted to know the stranger's credentials. Thankfully, Regan had saved him from asking the man directly. He could feel Nadia's nerves, her fear, and somewhere in there, her determination. Connor couldn't touch her, couldn't offer a comforting hand, but he gave her as reassuring a smile as he could manage. "Just stay strong, yeah? Stay focused. You got this."

“I know. If I didn’t know how to use it, I wouldn’t have it,” Blanche snapped quietly at Connor, her already bad temper souring even further. She refused to look at Cordelia, there was no need, considering Nadia hadn’t yet repossessed her body. She wouldn’t need to watch for the struggle for control between them -- not yet, at least. Blanche pressed her lips together into a thin line, examining the exorcist carefully. Had she died and woken up in a bad Western? Blanche was with Regan on this one, and she glanced at the Banshee quickly before turning back to Mav. What were this man’s credentials? It wasn’t like she could ask for a CV or an exorcist license… Blanche slung the shotgun over her shoulder, finally stepping forward to greet him. “Blanche. Medium. I’ll be running telekinetic interference in case it gets…” She let out a breath, remembering the telekinetic game of tug-of-war her and Constance played in the classroom. She had thrown the teacher’s desk through a window. Blanche grimaced, and she hoped they didn’t completely trash Nadia’s apartment. “Completely out of hand.” Eyes narrow, Blanche glanced at Nadia. “Whenever you’re ready to begin, Nadia. Just like we practiced.” She looked back at Mav, still distrusting of him. Finally, lowering her voice, she asked. “You can tell what she is, right? The spirit in the body?” He had to at least be able to answer that Cordelia was a poltergeist. It was the only question she could think to answer to make sure they weren’t getting scammed.

Kaden wanted to go over to Regan, give her hand a quick squeeze of reassurance before slinking off to the side, but it wouldn’t help. The only thing that would help was finishing this, giving Nadia back what was hers. He wished he could see her, give her some reassurance before all this started. “Mav’s one of the best there is. Trust me,” he said before backing away to the door. He had to be. After what Kaden sacrificed to get him here, he had to be. This wouldn’t be for nothing. “I’ll be right at the door. Let me know if you need me.” With that he headed to the door, giving the scene one last look. He really hoped he’d be useless here and it’d be over sooner rather than later. He had to trust this was the best group possible to make this happen.

Mav gave the hunter a nod. “I’ll call on you if I need you, partner.” He didn’t know much about this Langley fellow but he trusted Porter would only refer him to someone worth his time. And this case sure sounded like a doozy. “Nice to meet you, youngin,” he said, shaking Connor’s hand. “I hope you’re good and ready for this rodeo. It’s sure to be a hullabaloo. Just follow my lead and stay by me.” It seemed like Mav and Mr. Langley might be the only two in the room who couldn’t see ghosts by the sound of it. That was alright, he didn’t need to see them to exorcise them. “Telekinesis? Well I'll be damned. That’s a horse of a different color right there, boy howdy.” That was more than he bargained for from a medium. This might not be a total disaster after all. Maybe they had a shot. Though not if they all kept on questioning him. He hoped he could settle this score and keep the quarreling to the spirits. “Young lady, I’ve been dealing with ghosts and performing exorcisms since I was knee high to a grasshopper. I know a poltergeist when I feel one and you’d best believe I know how to handle one so none of y’all need to fret about any credentials, you hear?”

Mav fastened his hat on his head a little tighter and rolled up his sleeves before pulling out his grand pappy’s old iron pocket watch. It was a silly old trinket, but it was a fool proof focal point for him. “We’ll need our Ms. Diaz to repossess her body. Once she’s in there, we’ll start the exorcism. The circle here should keep little lady Cordelia trapped while we do the banishment. There’s bound to be a lot of rattling and hollering but it’s very important that once I start wagging my mouth that no one interrupts me. One missed syllable is all it’ll take for things to go belly up in a delicate situation such as this one. So if we’re ready to start wobbling jaws and get this show on the road, y’all need to be absolutely sure you’re ready.”

Just repossess the body. That was all Nadia needed to worry about doing. She looked at where Cordelia and her body waited within the circle. The moment she crossed that line, she’d be stuck in there with a homicidal maniac until everything was completed. The way that Cordelia looked at her without really seeing her would have chilled Nadia to the bones. This had to be the most twisted form of self-loathing, when her own eyes were filled with so much hate, but she wasn’t even in there. Nadia looked at Regan’s hand and, comforted, stepped forward. Cordelia straightened up, her mouth set in a hard line. Nadia crossed into the circle, and there was no going back. She stood toe to toe with her own body, her feet floating off the ground and making her an inch or so taller. Once again, Nadia felt like she was staring at her reflection in a mirror back in Phoenix, blood on her hands and a smile that wasn’t hers, had never been hers, stretching across her mouth. She was done with this. Nadia reached her hand out and grabbed her own shoulder.

It felt weird, feeling Nadia Diaz’s hand pass through her body, but the sensation meant that the repossession didn’t work, and all Nadia could do was laugh. “You can’t even be dead properly, can you?” she hissed at the translucent figure in front of her. “God, any ghost worth their shit can possess. Come on, champ, try again.” She looked out amongst the group in front of them, from the little banshee to the cowboy, sneering. Bet they felt like dumbasses, backing the wrong Nadia. She was clearly the better of the two, more in control and more capable of taking care of this body. Not that it’d matter for long, but, shit, it was as if Nadia didn’t even want it anymore. Just like when Nadia had taken over, the girl had no fight. She couldn’t have fought back if she wanted to. “Didn’t you hear me, you dumb bitch? Try aga--” Nadia gasped, and, for the first time in weeks, she wasn’t alone in her head anymore.

The first thing Nadia noticed was that she was unbalanced. She wobbled a bit, trying to remember how to plant her feet on solid ground. Her wrist hurt. Her throat hurt. Her head was killing her. She had to blink tears out of her eyes for a moment as everything came back into focus. She was trembling, but she could feel it. She could feel everything, not just herself, and the weight of it was crushing. It was relieving. But she could feel Cordelia, too, just underneath the surface, and the poltergeist was so much stronger than she was. However, Cordelia wasn’t the one that was used to being possessed, and this would always be Nadia’s body first. For a moment, and just a moment, she had total control, even if the spirit taking up residence in her body fought like a motherfucker. “Now,” she gasped out, locking eyes with anyone that she could. “Start now. You’ve got to start now.”

Regan wasn’t sure why Blanche felt the need to mention her size to Mav (she was more shrimpy than medium, though neither of those words were qualitative enough for Regan’s liking), but she was already struggling to follow everything else that was happening. Telekinesis? Horses? A pocket watch that made a shiver roll down her spine? Instead of trying to make sense of nonsense, she turned her attention to Nadia and Kaden. As much as she wanted him to stay here, she knew it was important that someone guard the door. The last thing they needed was for Cordelia to escape… or for Ms. Carmody to wander up insisting to see what was causing all the noise. Despite not agreeing with Mav’s chosen terminology, she understood that his warning about interruption was to be taken seriously, and for a moment, she considered promising that she wouldn’t interfere. But… what if she had to? What if there was no other option? What if Nadia’s death would be a result not of the “exorcism,” but of Regan’s inability to intervene? So she held her tongue as tightly as she held Nadia’s gaze. Her fingers felt nothing as she tried to graze her friend’s hand, but something in Nadia’s eyes told her that it helped a little nonetheless. Regan only wished she could do more. She wasn’t the best at inspirational speeches, but it seemed prudent to remind Nadia that she believed in her. “You were shot by a mime and wouldn’t even come to me for stitches,” Regan said, voice resolute, “you’ve been using hydrogen peroxide on your wounds despite my warnings, and you fearlessly confronted all of those dangerous individuals at 66 Brimme Stonne. There’s likely more that I don’t even know about.” That thought sank like a stone inside of her. “You can do this, Nadia. You’re tough and, to my chagrin, occasionally medically irresponsible. But most importantly tough. And I’ll be here. No matter what.” That was a promise Regan would have made if she could.

At Mav’s instruction, Nadia drifted into the center of the room, where Cordelia stood in handcuffs. Though Regan had seen both of them individually before, seeing them in one place, staring each other down, was maddening. Some part of her wanted to explain all of this away as a hallucination, but she couldn’t lie about that, not even to herself any longer. There was no imagining Cordelia’s fury out of nowhere, either -- it was very real, even directed at someone so insubstantial as Nadia. There wasn’t even a tremor under Cordelia’s voice; she thought herself invincible, truly believing that Nadia was going to die trying. More impossible things unfolded -- Nadia vanished. Regan looked down, expecting her to pop back up through the floor, but she didn’t. Her head swiveled frantically as she searched the room. Nadia was gone. But Cordelia -- something was changing across her face. And her balance. Cordelia nearly fell, and Regan was caught off guard by how Cordelia’s voice changed. Uncertain, fearful, frenzied, with a backbone of determination. Regan knew, then -- that was where Nadia had gone, somehow. She stayed back, lingering at the side of the room as she looked to Mav, pleading silently with him to save her friend.

Bloody hell, there were a lot of people here. Most of them actual adults. This wasn't like last time when it was a bunch of kids in the woods just hoping to get this right. Connor wasn't sure if he was intimidated by that, or comforted by it. "Right," he said, nodding and stepping into position next to Mav, trying not to let the man's colourful use of language blur his judgement. They wouldn't have invited him if he wasn't capable. This was Nadia's life at stake. "I've got you, mate." He touched his focal point, currently nestled inside his pocket. It would make its real appearance once they were ready. "You got this, Nadia," he said again, looking at her sincerely and giving her an encouraging nod.

Connor could feel the palpable tension in the room. He felt the poltergeist's fury, the struggle, the pain. He focused on the battling spirits, never taking his eyes off them, ready to leap in at any moment regardless of not knowing how he could help. "She's winning," he said, managing a hopeful smile. But they weren't out of the woods yet... There was still the rest of it to do. "Quick, I'll start getting everything in place, yeah?" No wobbly mouths, or waggling jaws, or whatever the cowboy had said. The ritual had to go perfectly. He drew the diagrams around the Nadias, taking the relics and items as Mav handed them to him, the two of them settling the playing field as Nadia and Cordelia fought for control over the other. "You’ve won, okay Nadia? Stay strong, we're almost there," he called to her.

The mustached exorcist watched and waited as the spirit of Nadia Diaz returned to her own body. Mav almost wished he could see it proper, but he didn’t need to see to know what was going on. The energy shifted around them, forces battling to occupy the same space, and beyond that, he wasn’t a spring chicken. He could hear the arguments back and forth. When she said the word, Mav didn’t hesitate to start chanting. He gripped his fingers tight around the chain of the pocket watch as he formed the Latin clean and precise even with his accent peaking through, narrowing in on the energy until it was clear and crisp as sweet tea on a summer’s day. In normal circumstances, he’d never need to focus his energy like this, not for a basic removal ritual. But this? This was three gallons of crazy in a two gallon bucket. The spirit that belonged to the body was weaker, it would take everything he had to pull the poltergeist away. And then a little more than that to banish it back to hell and keep Ms Diaz from heading down to the bone orchard herself. He felt the words forming a bond of energy, like the chain from his watch, latching onto the poltergeist and pulling at it, peeling it away from the body. She was tough as a pine nut. A focal point wasn’t enough. Without dropping a phrase, he nodded to Connor and reached out to him to pull from him, to strengthen the chain. It was going to need to be strong as steel, iron even, to make this work. But Maverick Mulaney was no failure, no sir.

Blanche understood Mav’s exasperation, but she wasn’t quick to drop her skepticism. Once it was all over, she could apologize -- or kill him, if she ended up being right. The somber thought made her grimace, even as Nadia succeeded in overtaking Cordelia and the removal started. The energy in the room was thick and made her skin tingle uncomfortably. Watching Mav start to pull from Connor, Blanche backed away and started inching closer to Regan. “Regan?” She said quietly, not taking her eyes off Nadia and Cordelia. This was probably the first thing she had said to Regan directly in a very long time, but it was better to warn her now then let her be surprised. She had seen the first exorcism, and Nadia’s screams of pain weren’t something she would soon forget. That said, maybe with the removal it would be, at least, a little better. “Once Cordelia is out, it’ll get better for Nadia.” She spoke softly so she wouldn’t disturb Mav or Connor’s concentration. “... Well… Maybe not better. But it probably won’t get worse,” she corrected herself. Her hands tightened on the gun, and let out a hissed wince as her body began to feel like ice. “I think he knows what he’s doing.” Blanche was struck again with a sort of sadness and pity for Cordelia, as well as the familiar guilt in her gut, but she shook it off. There would be time to lament her choices later, now she had to keep a careful eye on Nadia. She narrowed her eyes at Nadia, taking a few steps forward as she tried to watch for Cordelia’s soul to be ripped out of Nadia’s body. “C’mon, c’mon. Let her go.” Blanche hissed under her breath. Before it killed Nadia.

Just like last time, Nadia felt a pulling sensation, like she was being ripped in half. She gritted her teeth against the pain so hard that she tasted iron in her mouth, but she stayed in control for as long as she could. This was working. They were going to win this. Granted, she felt like her insides were coming apart, as the connection with Cordelia that had literally just reformed was severed again and again and again. Cordelia raged against her skull, but Nadia held on as much as she could. If she concentrated, she could hear Mav chanting. She focused on that, on the sounds of words in a language that she didn’t understand. If she made it out of this-- When, when she made it out of this, she was going to start learning a new language. Maybe a dead language, something that could be useful in this fucking town. But she was making it out of this. Fuck, it was cold. It was so cold. Nadia felt herself trembling, and she opened her mouth to say something, but she didn’t say anything at all. She screamed.

“No!” Nadia screamed out, finally regaining control as the temperature in the room plummeted and the lights surged with her anger. No. This wasn’t happening. She wasn’t losing this. Not now. Not now. Just like in the last exorcism, she reached inward, to that part of her that was dead and had been for so long but refused to fucking stay that way. Again, the felt the shackles, fucking handcuffs of all things, fall from her wrist, but this time, she knew she wouldn’t make it out in time. She had one last Hail Mary. She didn’t even feel the pain in Nadia’s wrist as she gripped the knife hidden behind her back as tightly as she could. Lightning fast, she ran it against Nadia’s neck, leaving a thin red line. But that would be too easy, wouldn’t it? Too quick. Nadia Diaz would die suffering. She felt herself being pulled, pulled out of the body, but Nadia clung on as hard as she could, planted her heels, and dug the knife into Nadia’s stomach. It was poetic, wasn’t it? This was where she’d stabbed Kaden, where she’d stabbed the little medium. She gritted her teeth and dug in more, as much as she could. It wasn’t a big knife, sure, but she was a determined gal, and she didn’t give a fuck about Nadia’s pain. Not anymore. Then, Nadia wasn’t pulled out of Nadia’s body. She pushed herself out.

#season's yeetings pt. 1 #chatzy: blanche harlow #chatzy: connor piers #chatzy: kaden langley #chatzy: regan kavanagh #mav the exorcist #//mav is a gift #what a man #what a mustache #self harm tw #not!nadia #wickedscontent

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nightashes · 4 years

Text

A Kitten For Two

A/N: A gift for the fantastic @animelover101997

Summary: Prinxiety adopt a kitten.

AO3 - writing masterlist

***

“Are you ready?”

“Definitely not.”

“We don’t have to do this right now. We can wait.”

“No. I want this. I… I just don’t know how to pick.” Virgil laments, gazing at the cages of kittens meowing for love and attention. A calico to his right stretches its paw out through the cage bars, reaching towards the pair. Virgil swears he can feel his heart melting. “They’re adorable.” He continues flatly, trying to shove the warm fluffy emotions away that were urging him to coo and babble. “I want them all.”

‘Virgil.” Roman warns. “We agreed on just one.”

One. How could Virgil just pick one? He audibly groans in frustration, yanking his hoodie closed, tightening the strings to disappear from the cruel world that demanded he only pick one. “Noooooo….”

Roman chuckles, the melodic sound bringing heat to Virgil cheeks. Crap. The world truly was cruel. Cruel and wonderful and perfect, and with stupidly perfect hair and a ridiculously perfect voice that practically rivaled the kittens in cuteness.

“All right then, I’ll pick.” Roman continued, completely oblivious to his partner’s gay panic. “Well, why don’t we take a look at this one?” he gestures to the calico, who has somehow managed to sink her claws into Virgil’s sweater, which Virgil was only just now realizing. Gosh. That kitten really is cute. The cat's emerald eyes locked onto Virgil’s swinging hoodie strings. Her pupils mere slits as she gazes towards her prey. Her paw pulling at his sweater as if to draw him closer.

“Obviously, she has good taste.” Roman speaks softly, his eyes trying to catch Virgil’s blushing face through the hoodie barrier.

“You think so?” Virgil mumbles around the thick cloth.

Roman encircles his arms around him. Resting his chin on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Truer words were never spoken, my dark and stormy knight.” He whispers soothingly, his warm breath tickling Virgil’s face.

Alright, enough of this mushiness. Someone could walk in and, well, Virgil had a reputation to maintain, dangit. He wiggles around, attempting to shrug Roman’s gooeyness away. “We get it, Princey. You’re a sap.” His gruff voice thankfully does not break. Mission accomplished.

“I’m your sap.” Roman purrs, pulling him back into the embrace. Mission failed. Repeat. mission failed. Error noises sound in his head, warning him of just how head-over-heels he had fallen. Guess it was time to change tactics.

Throwing back his hood. Virgil tosses his hair loose, he half-turns his head in order to face his utterly insufferable boyfriend. Roman watches as he leans in, their lips mere inches away from each other. And then… Virgil loudly snarks. “You best believe it, Romano. Dating me was the best thing to ever happen to you.”

Roman doesn’t even blink, the corners of his mouth merely quirk up. “Oh, I believe it. And I‘m never letting you go.. .And apparently neither is this cat“ Roman chuckles. Bringing their attention back as together they watch the calico attempt to shake its paw loose from Virgil’s jacket.

His heart skips a beat at the sight of her struggle. Reaching down, his hand deadly still, he grasps the white paw gently and with the utmost care. His thoughts stopping as he focuses on slowly lifting the little toes beans up and away. Finally free the kitten yanks her fluffy paw back and loudly meows up at him. Her cries resonate through the room, joining the cacophony of sound formed from her brethren.

Virgil and Roman smile softly down at her.

“It says her name is Cali.” Roman reads from the sheet pinned to the bars. “A calico named Cali? Not the most original but it could be fun to rename her. She’s only ten months old and she loves to play with her stuffed mouse. What do you think? Is this the newest member to our little famILY.”

Virgil hums in contemplation. The kitten watches him. Her vibrant green eyes peering into his soul and he knows he is trapped. Her tongue bleps as she sits there in anticipation. Virgil admits he is utterly powerless. He didn’t choose this cat, she chose them.

“I think she’s more of a Venus.”

Roman raises an eyebrow. “Venus? How’s that?“

“Look on her side. There’s a heart.”

“Virgil. Are you saying she’s a goddess of love?” Roman prods. His eyebrows wiggling mischievously.

Virgil purses his lips, watching the way her tongue refuses to unblep. “She’s stolen my heart, Ro. I can’t go back.”

“Have I been replaced?”

“Definitely. Now go get an employee. I need to hold her close. She must be protected at all costs.”

“Whatever you say, my love.”

After an hour, several adoption papers, $200, and a car ride home the trio find themselves back at their apartment. Virgil is bustling around, double and triple checking that everything is still kitten proofed.

“Everything is fiiiiiine, Virgil. Now can we please let her out. I want to show Venus her new home.”

Virgil is crouched on the ground, peering beneath the couch for anything that might dare to harm his precious little kitten. Eyeing the dark crevices suspiciously he grunts in acceptance.

“Alright. Everything’s good.”

“Thaaaank you!” Roman sighs heavily. He places the pet carrier on the ground, opening the door as he lightly coos. “Come on out, little Venus. Come see your new home.”

Virgil shuffles on his feat, watching her poke her little pink nose out. She gazes around the quaint living room.

Roman pulls out her little toy mouse and tosses it over to Virgil. “Try to coax her out.”

“What? NOo.” Virgil promptly panics. Yeeting the tiny toy onto the couch.

Venus launches herself after it, struggling to climb up onto the couch.

“Awww.” Roman sighs. Virgil in the meantime flits to her side. Picking her up and softly placing her up on the couch.

“Heh” Roman throws his arm around his boyfriend. “She’ll be okay, Vee. It’s okay to let her run or climb on her own.”

“She’s so small.”

“I know.” Roman grabs his hand firmly. Pulling Virgil over to the couch. “Now come here. We can watch a movie together. All three of us.”

Virgil allows himself to be maneuvered onto the couch. Making sure to give little Venus plenty of room to chew on her mouse. She holds it in her mouth rolling over onto her back and kicking at it with her back paws. He smirks at her antics. She was his and he was hers.

The TV sounds fill the room as Roman flips through the channel with the remote. His arm wrapping subconsciously around Virgil. And Virgil can’t help but feel his heart fill with warmth and love. How he managed to get so lucky, he may never know. What he did know is that half-way through the film he found himself with a sleeping Roman on one side and in his lap, curled tightly into a little ball, was the newest addition to their little famILY.

taglist: @stop-it-anxiety @rainboots-are-for-snobs

#sanders sides #sander sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #prinxeity #prinxiety #My writing #ts fanfic #ts fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #kitten

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du0tine · 4 years

Text

— music tag!

tagged by the beautiful: @xiaocvlts

rules: put your playlist on shuffle and pick an nct member that fits the song!

JANUARY

꧁ DISCLOSURE (FEAT. JAMIE WOON)

⤷ [KAYTRANADA REMIX]

MEMBER: JOHNNY

⤷ honestly, i can picture dj suh pulling this up at an afterparty or during a gala for what? maybe givenchy. man be spinning them turntables, adding his own mix to this tune and when he looks up at the crowd to see how hard everyone’s vibin’ his eyes fall onto you and boom, chemical reaction: he’s in love.

OUT WEST

꧁ JACKBOYS & TRAVIS SCOTT

⤷ [FEAT. YOUNG THUG]

MEMBER: JAEHYUN

⤷ this is a really huge party song and not to mention it’s super sexual. “I just put my cum in her pussy, now it’s wet.” if that doesn’t scream jaehyun i don’t know what does. mans a thot and he’ll definitely pull up next to you to either get your number or just hook up, maybe both. this song blaring in the background as sweating bodies clash together and the aroma of weed filling up the room. his eyes on you, his hands gripping your ass because guess what, you’re a thot too!! bust down thotianna!!!

KALEIDOSCOPE LOVE

꧁ ALUNAGEORGE

⤷ [KAYTRANADA REMIX]

MEMBER: LUCAS

⤷ popular club song, mans definitely gonna spot you dancing under a strobe light and yeet next to you to tRYNA grind and feel dat ass but you know what? don’t give lucas what he wants, make him work for it. definitely sensual and the beat goes hard with the bass boost in a club setting, dimmed lights and flipping candy. sure he looks delicious but you’re just as irresistible.

OVERDUE

꧁ METROBOOMIN

⤷ [FEAT. TRAVIS SCOTT]

MEMBER: JUNGWOO

⤷ this song is just how i feel about jungarbage. when the verse said, “will you fill me up?” we all dropped our panties for edge master jwoos. forget his innocent facade and to all you mommy kink believers, mans not innocent and let’s just say it’s a good song to vibe to. maybe not good for doing the dirty to but it goes hard.

APESHIT

꧁ THE CARTERS

⤷ [BEYONCÉ & JAYZ]

MEMBER: YANGYANG

⤷ holy shit, just this is like. wrecking shit up, burning the place down. high on shrooms as you laugh hysterically as you both drive a car into the high school gym you both once went into. y’all get arrested after but hey, who says you can’t run? you guys definitely drive off and have the police hot on your trail. despite your efforts and running over a couple old ladies you’ll end up in jail for life and start your own prison gangs. you got your prison bitches but your favourite one is, yangyang.

MARIA IM DRUNK

꧁ TRAVIS SCOTT

⤷ [FEAT. JUSTIN BEIBER & YOUNG THUG]

MEMBER: JAEMIN

⤷ idk tbh this is like sad song but not really like it’s a banger but damn my heart said: :( because AHHHH CALLING FOR MARIAAAAA, LOST WITHOUT MARIAAAAAAAAA. fits in with my rodeo jaem fic but basically man misses you and knows he can’t have you. a good song, idk wtf to say but listen to it.

i suck at shit like this because im hella lazy but!

tagging; @jungwooisms @suhdude @lucas-wongs @neo-cult-ure @neonun-au @xiaomoon @fruityutas @jimjamjaemin @nzeeten

+ whoever else is down to vibe with this.

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merinnan · 4 years

Text

DMBJ Ep 6

I’ve been a bit behind putting these up on Tumblr, so I’m afraid you’re about to get a dump of the remainder of Season 1, plus the first two eps of Explore with the Note! (not all in one post, of course - 1 ep per post as usual)

So! Episode 6!

The Xiaoge Rescue Count at the start of ep 6 stands at 9 for Wu Xie, 12 for the protagonists, 13 for everyone.

- And we start back with Chengcheng and High Jr. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS SUBPLOT, MAKE IT GO AWAY AND BRING BACK XIAOGE AND WU XIE.

- Why is Chengcheng calling her kidnapper dage? I don't like her or trust her. She is annoying and shady

- Oh, good, now we are back to Wu Xie being a good boy

- That is a lot of guns and explosives Sanshu has recovered

- I am annoyed at how they all seem to think that A-Ning needs to be shielded from everything unpleasant because she's a girl. She's a goddamn mercenary leader. I think she can take knowing these things - and it's better to let her know as it's found out so that she can adjust to the news properly, instead of springing it on her when it can't be concealed anymore, like what happened when the blood zombie showed up.

- On a completely different tangent, Wu Xie's neck dressing has stayed astonishingly clear for running around in a tomb, crawling through tight tunnels, falling off of ledges and being dramatically rescued, fighting bugs, and fainting all over floors.

- Wu Xie is so sweetly optimistic

- LOL, sure Pangzi, you're here for archeological study

- ....Wu Xie, you are disturbingly knowledgeable about guns for a college student

- Now that I've read the first novel between having watched ep 5 and now, my mind is slightly reeling from how innocent and babie drama Wu Xie is compared to novel Wu Xie

- Awww. Doesn't matter which Wu Xie it is, babie with gun always looks kinda adorable.

- Also, I appreciate Wu Xie's trigger discipline. So often shows have such terrible trigger discipline.

- Oooh, it's like a carved thing on the dais that got his attention. I thought it was like a computer drive or something at first, because it looked kinda like that.

- OH NO, THE LIVING VINES ARE HERE AND SNEAKING UP ON THEM

- ...and pushing the button made them retreat

- ...phew?

- I am still concerned

- The music signifies that something creepy is coming

- lol, babie. Looking so innocent even though He Knows What He Did

- I don't know what that sound is, but that's not a good sound

- ...earthquake? That's a bad thing to happen when you're in the middle of an evil cave.

- WU FAMILY, WHY ARE YOU THE ONLY ONES TRYING TO STAY ON YOUR FEET WITHOUT HOLDING ONTO ANYTHING?!

- So fucking stubborn

- This is where Wu Xie gets it from, if Erbai is wondering

- A-Ning is the smartest one, staying sitting down

- The tree opens up like a fucking security vault and ejects a coffin. Because of course if fucking does.

- Oooh, yeah, that's that shot from the opening credits

- "I can't read any of this, but it says this is the guy we're looking for"

- "His story recorded here is the same as what we know" WU XIE YOU JUST SAID YOU CAN'T READ IT

- Come on. Earlier in the show you said "yes I can read this" and read it. And in the novel, you puzzle it out from being able to read bits. This part, you flat out said he couldn't read it, and now are telling everyone what it says

- I love continuity, but dramas really don't

- The music now is similar enough to the Harry Potter music that I almost expect an owl to go flying past

- The owner of a coffin wanting the coffin to be opened hundreds or thousands of years later seems like it should be something more worrying than how everyone is reacting

- I wanna know how Sanshu knows the coffin has been there for 3000 years. Wu Xie can't read the dates on it, and the Warring States Period was 1500 years ago, not 3000

- JESUS CHRIST, SANSHU, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SENSIBLE ONE!

- Why are you suggesting you open the chained shut coffin in order to see if there's somehow something alive (or alive-ish) in there?

- Awwww! Wu Xie going "no, don't do that, Pokerface told us not to touch anything"

- Like. Not, "no uncle, that seems like a bad idea"

- But "Xiaoge told us not to, and we should do what he says"

- I have the feeling that if this Pangzi is agreeing with something, then you all should not be doing that thing. Because this version of Pangzi is an idiot

- HOW THE FUCK IS THE MOVING COFFIN GOING TO SECRETLY HAVE THE EXIT INSIDE IT, PANGZI

- THAT MAKES THE LEAST SENSE OUT OF EVERYTHING SO FAR

- Pan Zi's "WTF do you think you're doing" look

- This Pangzi is so bad

- I even like Chengcheng better than him. And I wish they had taken her into the tomb and used her as bait.

- I'm glad he's better in other adaptations. Like, I love the Pangzi in Chongqi. I am so glad that he was my intro to Pangzi, not this one

- DON'T MAKE THE BABIE SAD BY BEING DUMB

- A-Ning really should not be just standing there with her leg injury. I've had a muscle biopsy before where they took it from the thigh, which is a similar 'injury' to what she's got, and you do not get on your feet unless you absolutely have to for days afterwards.

- At least they have her limp when she's walking, and it's kinda sad that I'm glad they do that!

- And Pan Zi should not be doing hard physical labour with a fucking gut wound

- But I think I'm more annoyed by A-Ning, because I have personal experience with her kind of injury so know first-hand what kind of pain she's causing herself by standing and walking

- HUMAN BRAIN LOGIC GO

- Pangzi you fucking dick, just standing there watching. You should be pushing instead of Pan Zi

- Hahahah, after all his shittalk and boasting, and he can't do it

- Oh, there, finally

- I know that inside lid is supposed to be jade, but it looks so terribly fake. Oh my god. It's awful

- It looks like a bad Photoshop of one of those Windows 98 default backgrounds

- I love the looks everyone gives Pangzi every time he slips up and talks about getting money from the stuff in the tomb

- LOL, that's not a carving, that's a couple of translucent green plastic discs stuck on top of Windows Background Photoshop cover

- ...I'm kinda waiting for someone to suddenly shout BOO! really loudly while they're all carefully trying to listen for any sounds in the coffin

- They're almost at the end of the first novel in terms of plot, and there's still 4 and a half eps to go

- Wow, I think that's the first time I've seen Sanshu actually worried

- lol, and now Pangzi says he believes him, rather than get his ear that close to the coffin himself

- PANGZI DON'T STARTLE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR FINGER ON THE TRIGGER OF A GUN & DEFINITELY DON'T SMACK THE GUN

- Wu Xie has a lot of control to have not accidentally shot right then

- LOL, after all their declarations how they're archaeologists, not tomb robbers, & how they're here to protect cultural artefacts from robbers, etc - they go make references to the northern and southern schools of tomb raiding

- Just without actually saying exactly what the 'Southern School' being referred to actually is.

- ....and now Pangzi jumps in front of the pointed gun as he grabs it. Do you have a fucking death wish, dude?

- And now we see the infamous bronze armour! Jade armour. Whatever

- You'd think they'd have learned to fucking take all of A-Ning's guns away from her after last time she held one of them at gunpoint

- OMG, the face on the helmet is so fucking ridiculous, I can't - It's not even properly positioned over his face

- Aaaaah, Sanshu called him tianzhen I'm so happy at being able to identify that word now it's ridiclous

- That...that is not what peeled skin looks like

- Pangzi comes right out and admits he's a tomb robber

- And for the first time, no-one calls him on it

- Or correct him for calling them tomb robbers

- Ah, there you are, Xiaoge. I was wondering how long it would take for you to be back

- I see looking for people in a tomb requires no shirt XD

- Better shots of shirtless Xiaoge

- Like, same, Wu Xie. Same.

- Look, I have two braincells, and one is for Xiaoge and one is for pingxie

- YOU ACTING LIKE THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS, PANGZI

- Oooh, this is a goood shot of the tattoo. And of who the tattoo is on

- I don't have a Xiaoge problem. It's the opposite of a problem.

- Seriously, Pangzi is so fucking lucky that Xiaoge didn't kill him a dozen times over during their first meetings here

- Also, now that Xiaoge has explained why he threw a knife at Pangzi, I believe it's time to update the Xiaoge Rescue Count to 9 for Wu Xie, 13 for the protagonists, 14 for everyone.

- Although maybe I should have also been keeping a People Eyerolling At Pangzi Count given how often it's been happening

- More Xiaoge pics, feat. emotions that are not 'worrying about Wu Xie'

- Also, did he throw the corpse off the platform after he broke it's neck, or did it yeet itself off somehow?

- I mean, I too wanna know how Xiaoge knows all this stuff if this was all put here 3000 years ago

- I do love that Wu Xie is already about the only person who Xiaoge will actually look at instead of staring down or straight ahead

- LOL, Wu Xie won't even let Pangzi so much as touch this.

- I honestly appreciate that Xiaoge appears to travel lightly enough that he doesn't have a spare shirt

- EVERYTHING makes Wu Xie better than everyone else (except Xiaoge), Pangzi

- lol, Sanshu, yes. You tell him.

- Hahahah, and Wu Xie playing along with Sanshu, the little adorable shit

- THE LOOK ON HIS FACE

- KJFDHKJDAFHFKASDJHFKJASDLHGFSKLJ

- AND DON'T THINK I DON'T SEE THAT SMIRK, WU XIE

- There is absolutely not enough of little shit!Wu Xie in S1

- Loooool, his little nod at Sanshu now that they got their way and made Pangzi promise to stfu for the time being

- And that is the first time I've seen that style of carriage roll like a car

- Those skull ballistae were a cool aesthetic, though

- THAT CARRIAGE WAS ROLLING LIKE A FUCKING CAR, HOW IS IT BACK UPRIGHT AND ROLLING ALONG THE GROUND TO THE CLIFF

- HOW TF IS IT ROLLING ANYWHERE WITH A SMASHED WHEEL

- HOW TF IS HE ABLE TO HOLD IT FOR EVEN A SECOND, ESPECIALLY WITH ONE HAND

- A thin as fuck flagpole is going to give you jack shit in terms of something to brace with when it comes to that much weight

- THE SCRIPTWRITER OF THIS SCENE IS BAD AND SHOULD FEEL BAD

- *cries in physics minor*

- I can suspend disbelief for aliens, zombies, everything about Xiaoge, logic holes, and plot pits. Apparently my line is a non-cultivator breaking the laws of physics.

- Aaaah, here come the zombies

- So this dude is not the zombie dude

- He is the emperor, I think?

- OH MY GOD THAT GREENSCREEN IS JUST THE WORST

- I thought the one on the river was bad. The one of her falling as he dives off the cliff to save her is actively painful

- Oh, now it looks like we're gonna have a dumb love triangle in the flashback. Yay. *waves tiny flag*

- Bitch, be a bit more grateful. Yes, your ex-lover caught you as you were falling & did so by basically flying, but that's just standard wuxia defiance of physics. Your husband held a FUCKING CARRIAGE with ONE HAND for AT LEAST TWO WHOLE MINUTES to keep you alive before your ex finally showed up

- "Were you really frightened?" Your majesty, what kind of a stupid question is that?

- The emperor's armour is really pretty, I gotta say

- Uuuugh, this stupid love story hurts in a bad way

- I'm just gonna fast forward through it

- ...and there's the end of the episode.

- That love triangle is going to make me scream, I know it

- But that does explain how they're going to pad out the episodes a bit more with how far through the plot they are already

- None of them are even really that pretty to make up for the boring, trite, love triangle plot

- How do they expect to keep my attention through it if I don't even have eye candy?!?!

- I will be seriously headdesking if this flashback goes on for more than the next ep!

- Oh well, there we are. The end of ep 6

The Xiaoge Rescue Count at the end of ep 6 stands at 9 for Wu Xie, 13 for the protagonists, 14 for everyone.