#neither side was right btw both sides were fucked i rest my case

[tonysiron]

wait y'all are still team iron man team cap i thought it was a joke

#ca:cw #captain america civil war #steve rogers #tony stark #neither side was right btw both sides were fucked i rest my case #ship stevetony instead #stevetony #stony #iron man #captain america

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Hi hi! I was wondering if you could do a dick Grayson x Avatar like fem reader with either a jealous Babs or Zatanna I hope that made sense🥲

True Love’s Kiss

Pairing: Dick Grayson as Nightwing x Reader

Warnings: I don’t think so

Word Count: 4.1K

@writing2sirvive : Hi love, me again but with a request this time. If you have time of course. I was thinking true love’s kiss with Dick Grayson. You can go crazy with it because I know you love Dick Grayson as much as I do. Btw I love your writing so much.

A/N: I think I did it wrong...cuz even though this is a Dick Grayson x reader fic, it’s mostly centred around reader and Zatanna???? Sorry about that???

You were fine with knowing that Dick was still friends with most of his exes. You completely accepted that he was able to keep functional relationships with most of them. In fact, it showed you how amicable and neutral Dick was and how he never held any grudges against people.

Of course, you were surprised by the sheer number. And the fact that he seems to interact with them practically every day. But eventually you managed not to let yourself get too bothered by it.

I mean, how could you? Barbara was the smartest, funniest, most approachable person you had ever met. She always made sure not to overstep her boundaries and was unusually open with you, given that Dick was her ex-boyfriend.

Raquel was adventurous and fun and you always had a good time when you were around her. She was another one who was respectful of your relationship. She never brought up her past flings with Dick, nor did she ever try and put you down. In fact, she was one of the people who really shipped the two of you.

You liked most of his exes. To the point where it made Dick kind of uncomfortable.

You liked most of his exes.

Ever since you had joined the team, being introduced as Nightwing’s significant other, Zatanna had been a constant thorn in your side. She was nice and sweet but there was something about her that rubbed you the wrong way. You could tell almost immediately that she wasn’t quite over her relationship with Dick. Short as it was.

Or maybe she was just the type of person who didn’t want someone, but didn’t want others to have the same person either.

Nonetheless, being around her put you constantly on edge. You lost count of how many times she redirected a conversation to be about her previous relationship with your boyfriend. ‘Oh, Dick took you to a fancy restaurant for your birthday? Well, I remember back when we were dating, he threw a huge party for me on mine.’

‘Oh, you celebrated your one-year anniversary with Dick in Paris? Well during our 3-month-aversary he bought me an expensive necklace.’

It didn’t bother you in the slightest. At least, not in the way that she hoped. It didn’t make you insecure or doubt or feel intimidated by her. It was just an annoyance that you couldn’t shake off, like the teacher you didn’t like or your annoying neighbour.

Unfortunately, Zatanna couldn’t take a hint that it made you and your friends (Barbara and Raquel included) uncomfortable and slightly irritated. Yet, everyone was just waiting for you to express the slightest distaste, not wanting to step on your toes. However, they were quick to change the topic in case they thought she was going too far.

Dick had been blissfully unaware of everything and you wanted to keep it that way. The last thing you needed was this turning into some sort of issue, especially since Zatanna was still his teammate.

However today you had enough.

You could look past Zatanna’s petty jealousy but allowing the jealousy to come to the forefront during a mission was where you drew the line.

Dick, M’Gann and Conner had been on a covert mission for Batman and out of the country and under team vote decided that you should be made in charge until he returned, since you were the only other older member (other than Zatanna but you were voted leader unanimously. Something you were extremely proud about). That was well and good, until you had been given a mission.

Regardless of how much you did not want to work with Zatanna without the others there to wrangle her, you had to put your personal feelings aside when you had a mission to complete.

You thought you could both be professionals about it and act like mature adults.

You were dead wrong.

If it wasn’t disagreements, it was insubordination. If it wasn’t insubordination, it was blatant arrogance. She questioned your judgment in front of the other members and even had the nerve to argue with you about mission strategies. You were trying to look out for everyone and put yourself in the line of fire since the squad members were better at stealth.

Zatanna seemed to think you were trying to steal the show and insisted that she be partnered with you even though you wanted someone with the younger members to keep them safe.

When you relented and agreed to go stealth, she accused you of ducking out and intentionally trying to put her in danger. The others had to watch as steam practically came out of your ears when you relented once again and decided you’d be with her because you honestly couldn’t argue with her much longer.

As if that wasn’t infuriating enough.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when she refused to work as a team, putting the mission at risk and nearly getting the both of you hurt. She was fighting on her own, not bothering to have your back and going into it alone. Obviously, the two of you were overpowered quickly once they realized that you were pretty much behaving solo.

Luckily, the others pulled through and got you both out of there before anything horrible happened.

You sat in the ship, jaw clenched so tightly that they swore they could hear your teeth cracking, fists nearly white as you tried to control your anger and keep yourself from screaming at her while you were still in the air.

Once the ship landed in the docking bay and Zatanna was the first one to leave without saying another word, you snapped.

“What the hell did you think you were doing today!” You growled out, fisting her collar and stopping her in her tracks.

“What are you talking about?” She feigned innocence and you felt your skin burning. Everything around you faded out and all you could feel was fury. In hindsight, you would have liked to handle this issue in a more refined manner, but you honestly couldn’t care.

So, you didn’t notice the rest of the team, along with the a few members of the Justice League watching you chew Zatanna out.

Whatever would keep you from lighting her on fire was enough.

“I’m talking about putting the mission, not to mention ourselves in jeopardy, all because you can’t stop acting like a spoilt brat!” You hissed.

She rolled her eyes and you and the thought of strangling her briefly crossed your mind before she shoved your hands off her, dusting herself off like your fingerprints were dirt, “You need to stop blaming others for your inadequacy.”

She turned on her heel sharply and walked away. Blood pounded through your ears and your fingers twitched by their sides before you formed a whip of water from the bay and lashed it against her feet.

Zatanna, caught off guard, was thrown across the room before she caught herself with a muttered spell and turned around, glaring at you furiously.

“We’re going to settle things, right here, right now!”

“If you would stop being so insecure, then we could sort out our differences like mature adults!” She screamed back at you and before you could control it, flames erupted from beneath your feet and raced towards her, scorching the ground beneath it.

Each puff of breath you took released sparks. Zatanna immediately got into an offensive stance, levitating one of the weapons crates and chucking at you. You blocked it effortlessly using a wall of earth before throwing an inferno at her.

You kept fighting, flames and splashes of water going into the air every time you collided. The others watched in fear as you both raced towards each other, it looked like neither of you were holding back.

Before you could strike her again, you were being pulled away by Superman and as Zatanna was by Batman, they both pulled you yards apart. Even with his strong, authoritative grip on you, you couldn’t stop thrashing in his arms, throwing gusts of air at her.

“(Y/N). Enough.” Superman spoke in your ear and you calmed down, relaxing in his grip. He let you go after and you winced, feeling your skin bruise where he grabbed you. He gave you an apologetic glance at that.

“You both have to put your differences aside and work as a team or you won’t be allowed to go on any more missions.” Batman told you, voice firm but it didn’t shake you.

“No, Zatanna is going to have to put her issues with me aside and learn that when I have been elected as leader of the squad then you are supposed to put your petty jealousy aside and know your place.” You spat.

“You weren’t right for the position!”

“I did everything right! And if it hadn’t been for you, we wouldn’t have been under open fire tonight!”

“You’re not the boss of me!”

“When I am the leader of the squadron then I am! And you’re meant to listen and not question my judgement because you’re being blinded by your pathetic jealously!”

“I’m not jealous of you!”

“Oh, please! That’s the biggest load of crap I’ve heard from you and it was all proved today! Admit it! You were immature and fucking stupid because you can’t get over that fact that you dated Dick for what? 3 months?”

“That’s because he’s supposed to be with me!” 

“LIKE HELL HE IS!” You roared.

Batman felt a little helpless watching the two of you scream at each other. All this fighting? Over a boy? His son, no less? He had other sons and you were free to have your pick. But at this point, he wasn’t even sure what to say.

“You just can’t seem to accept the fact that he doesn’t love you anymore! Get over it! Because he certainly has!” You shouted, spinning on your heel and stomping away from her, determined to have the last word. Superman sighed in relief. He thought another fight would break out.

“You’re just insecure because you know that if he had the chance, he would come crawling back to me!”

A chill went done your spine and you felt cold fury run through your veins, turning around to glare at her murderously and clenching your hands tightly. You were so angry your feet were rooted to the floor, body seizing up slightly.

The others looked anxiously between the two of you as you glared at each other for a minute before you spoke with the calmest, yet most terrifying voice they’ve ever heard from you.

“Zatanna, you can try your damn hardest to win him back. But I promise you, you’re never going to get what you want.” You told her darkly, before walking away.

As Zatanna glared at your receding figure she decided she was going to prove you wrong.

***

To keep you from fighting with Zatanna again, when Batman came to you with a solo mission you couldn’t agree fast enough. Even though you knew you’d miss Dick’s homecoming, you still wanted to get the hell away from here. Not like you’d be missing anything important, other than Zatanna fawning over him.

You’d get to tell him how much you missed him in private anyway.

As soon as you were out of the cave, you couldn’t help the relief that filled your bones. You had been so on edge the past few days, still furious with her so the distance between the two of you was appreciated.

When Dick got home, he was ecstatic to see you again. It had been nearly 3 weeks since he had last held you and his skin was practically buzzing with excitement when he reached a cave, desperate to hug you, kiss you, touch you.

He got to the mess hall quickly, running all the way there and when he opened the door, he was instantly disappointed. You weren’t there.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” He asked Beast Boy, hoping he would tell him that you were just back at your apartment or that you had gone out for a while and would be back soon but he felt his heart sink when Gar gave him a sympathetic smile.

“She’s on a mission for a week.”

“A mission? Who’s with her?”

“No one. It’s a solo mission.”

Now he was worried. You usually didn’t take solo missions, liking to work in a team, knowing that there would be people who would be watching your back was reassuring. He knew you were more than skilled to handle a solo mission but not being by your side made him nervous and slightly antsy.

He was also upset that you weren’t here. So, he decided to do the most adult thing. Go home and sulk in bed while holding your sweatshirt that smelt like you.

But apparently the world had something against him because when he was about to go through the Zeta tube he was intercepted. By non other than Zatanna.

Now, poor clueless Dick had no idea that you had thrown hands with Zatanna just a day ago and was the reason why you weren’t there to welcome him when he got back. If he had he would’ve sulked at her and whined loudly for her to hear while he dragged his feet.

But, poor clueless Dick had absolutely no idea Zatanna was the reason he was being deprived of your kisses. So, he just smiled brightly at her and asked her if she needed anything.

“As a matter of fact, I found an old spell and I need someone to test it out on!”

“I don’t know how I feel about being your non-scientific experiment, Z.”

“Come on, it’s totally harmless, I promise.”

“I don’t know...”

“Don’t you trust me?”

He did. But there was just something about this situation that made him uncomfortable. Maybe it was because he missed you like crazy and just wanted to go home and sulk until you came back. Maybe it was because he felt uncomfortable to go somewhere private with his ex-girlfriend without telling you first. Or maybe it was because of the way Zatanna felt the need to guilt him into it.

Nevertheless, he agreed, albeit reluctantly and went to her room. Inside Zatanna had a bunch of ruins written on a paper and some weird poultices beside it.

“Now this isn’t going to work unless you give me your consent.” She informed, bustling about the room and Dick suddenly felt the air was a little stuffy.

“What do you mean by consent? Consent for what?”

“It’s a love spell.” She told him, smiling slyly but he couldn’t quite understand why. His hands got a little clammy at the announcement. What did she mean by love spell? Was she trying to get him to fall in love with her? Why would she be so open about it then? Especially when she knew he was in love with someone else?

“What do you mean?”

“Oh relax, stop being so tense. It’s just a love spell that proves who you truly love.” She said, immediately noticing how stiff his body was. Though she chalked it up to confusion. Dick was simply confused about who he loved, he was clouded by his attraction to you and he felt guilty about being unfaithful. But deep down, he really loved her. And this spell would prove it.

“In the olden ages, people would use it on their wedding to prove that their significant other truly loved them.”

He nodded, mouth falling open with realization. He already knew what the answer would be so why even bother? He assumed it was because Zatanna was curious to whether it actually worked.

“Too bad (Y/N) isn’t here, I mean I know who I love but I’d like to try it out on her. I mean, who takes a mission the day before their boyfriend comes back to town.” He complained, more to himself but Zatanna still heard it.

“Anyway, can I cast it on you?”

“Sure, couldn’t hurt.”

Oh, how he’d come to know just how wrong he was.

***

You raced through the halls, panicked, hearing your heart beat out of your chest as you sprinted to the Med Bay. Even though you were running as quick as possible you still pumped your legs to run faster, needing to get there quickly.

As soon as you saw Zatanna outside the Med Bay, you skidded to a stop in front of her and grabbing her collar, pinning her against the wall. She hit it with a thud and she saw white for a second when her head collided with the hard surface.

It was then you got a good look at her face. Her eyes were red and face wet. Her lips were bitten until they bled. You gritted your teeth, grip tightening around the collar as tears pricked your eyes.

“What the hell did you do!”

She whimpered, eyes getting glossy again before she started crying, incomprehensible words leaving her lips and you snarled before shaking her again, “You don’t get to cry! What the hell did you do to him!”

“It was a love spell!” She cried out, “It was supposed to reveal who he truly loves.”

“AND?!”

“It’s activated by a kiss.” She sniffled, “And I did.”

“Is it done?” Dick asked just as she finished casting the spell. His body was enveloped by a slight glow that was only visible to her and Zatanna’s lips curled when she realized it had worked. Now there was only one thing left to do.

“Yep.” She said, slinking over to his side and he pouted curiously.

“Are you sure? I don’t feel any different. You said it was supposed to reveal who I love. What happened?”

“We’re gonna find that out. Hold still.” She said, smiling and wrapping her arms around his neck to press a kiss to his lips. Dick froze, feeling her lips move against his and his mind went blank for a second before his chest contracted painfully.

He gasped against her mouth, before his legs buckled and he tumbled to the ground. Zatanna’s eyes widened when she saw the way his body twitched, pained gasps leaving his mouth and tears began falling from his eyes.

“Are you okay?!” She panicked, wrapping her arms around his thrashing figure but he couldn’t choke out an answer.

“Someone help! Anyone! Please!”

“A kiss doesn’t put people through cardiac arrest!” You screamed, feeling your chest tighten as you heard it out loud for the first time. Your eyes began burning and your throat contracted, feeling tears build. It was the first time you had admitted it to yourself.

You were scared. Emotions that you could barely process or understand swirled around you in a dark cloud and you were scared that Dick wouldn’t make it out of his critical state. If he was taken away from you because you hadn’t been there to stop it, you would never forgive yourself.

“I’m sorry.” She whimpered, sobbing and her body went limp in your fists. The urge to rip her head off her shoulders resurfaced. She didn’t get to be upset, not when this was all her fault.

“I don’t give a shit.” You hissed, “How do we save him?”

“A true love’s kiss should stop all the side effects.” She whispered, looking up at you with wide eyes, “If Dick truly loves you, then when you kiss him, it’ll reverse the spell.”

You needed to get in there.

You released your hold and Zatanna and she slid to the floor pathetically, holding her body as she cried. But even with her heartbroken sobs, you couldn’t feel any sort of remorse to her, glaring at her instead, “You better hope this works. Or I’ll kill you myself.”

And then you rushed in.

When you got to Dick’s side your breath stuttered when you noticed just how many things he was connected to and you felt your body shake. Batman was carefully watching him from his bedside.

You carefully walked to his side, gently brushing your fingers against his cheekbone. He looked like he was in so much pain. He looked so weak. You wanted to help him but a part of you was scared. For the first time in your life, you doubted Dick’s feelings for you.

The time you needed his love and devotion to be true the most, you were doubtful. A million thoughts rushed through your head and for a second you were tempted to just avoid doing this at all. But you knew that you had to at least try.

So, with trembling hands, you held the ventilator fastened to his mouth, taking a deep breath before tugging it off. Batman, already knowing what you were about to do, let you pull it off him before pressing a fluttering kiss to his lips. Tears gathered underneath your lashes when you didn’t feel anything happen.

Just when you were about to pull away, Dick took a deep breath through his nose and panted against your mouth, kissing you more firmly. You couldn’t help the sob that bubbled out of your throat and he swallowed it without any qualms.

Even through bleary vision, you were able to make out his blue eyes and the small smile on his face. 

His hands came up to weakly cup for cheeks, gently wiping away the tears with his thumbs, “I missed you.”

You sniffled, letting more tears fall because you knew he’d be here to wipe them away, “I missed you too.”

***

Bonus:

You walked into the mess hall quietly. Dick had just fallen asleep in the Med Bay where he would be kept for a couple days under observation. It was past 1 in the night and you wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed but you had some unfinished business left to handle.

It was dark and it was hard to make out your surroundings until your eyes adjusted to the darkness. As you walked to the kitchen island, your eyes landed on the sorceress that had her head in her arms and wondered if she was asleep. Batman had said you were free to deal with her anyway you liked and that had been exactly your plan.

“He’s okay now, if you’re curious.” You told her. Her head shot up and she looked at you out of the corner of her eye before bowing it away shamefully. But you caught a glance at her face. She looked like she had been crying for hours, eyes bloodshot and face red and blotchy.

“Thank god.” She croaked out.

There was a beat of silence.

“I’m so so sorry, (Y/N).” Zatanna whimpered out before crying again, “You were right. I was jealous. And I did a crazy, wrong thing. And I’m so sorry.”

You sighed, nodding at her apology even though you knew she couldn’t see you. You weren’t sure if you accepted it, and you didn’t have to. For now, it could remain in the air.

“He really doesn’t love me....” She whispered out and you sighed once again, stepping up beside her and setting something on the table.

Zatanna glanced at the bottle of tequila and the two shot glasses you left. You didn’t look at her, instead choosing to stare straight ahead. You opened the bottle, pouring yourself a shot before tilting your head back and downing it, hissing at the burn.

“Obligatory break-up drink.” You mumbled, pouring her a shot and passing the glass to her.

She sniffled, looking at the glass in her hands before gulping it down. You took a deep breath, refilling the glasses. You still didn’t look at her, didn’t speak to her, just poured a refill when either of you finished and downed it in one gulp. The excitement from today and the tense feeling from sitting beside Zatanna kept you from getting drunk too early.

You two ended up finishing half the bottle, drinking in the dark until she passed out first and you followed soon after.

The others found you the next morning, passed out at the kitchen island, clutching empty shot glasses.

***

Bonus bonus:

Batman sighed, smelling the overwhelming scent of tequila as he came closer. None of them were able to wake either of you up. You were out cold, face scrunched up and head against the table in a position that would no doubt have your neck in a crick.

Zatanna was no better. Her hair was a mess, tequila spilt on her clothes and she was drooling all over the table, snoring unattractively.

“All this over a boy?”

Forever Taglist:

@simonsbluee

DC Taglist:

@emmacata

@p--e--a--c--h--e--s

@sometimeseverythingsucks

@sokkas-honour

@unstable1902

@lostgirlheart

@missdisapear

@tadpole-san

#dick grayson #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson headcanon #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson oneshot #young justice #young justice x reader #young justice imagine #young justice headcanons #nightwing #nightwing x reader #yj x reader #robin x reader #robin #young justice fic #dc titans #titans imagine #titans fic #jason todd x reader #dick grayson x you

[miastideclock]

Stray Kids Reaction To Their S/O Being Shy About Their Singing-Talents

anon asked:

Can you do stray kids reaction to their s/o being a good rapper and singer but they get shy and have low confidence? - 🐻💙

Of course love! I hope you like it x So sorry for the wait! While we're here, I just wanna say I'm sorry for the length difference of the individual reactions! * y/n/n is what i use for your nickname btw

Word Count: 3.5k-ish

Bang Chan

Silence. At least for the most part. You clicking the keyboard of your computer, Chan humming slightly as he clicked around on his own, as well as twisting and turning the dials on his audio mixer, connected to said computer. The sounds had sort of blended into the silence though, so neither of you really noticed it at this point.

A click louder than all of the others soon came from Chan's computer, meaning he was going to connect his progress to the speakers of his studio, so he could fully take in the track he was working on. He had played it what seemed like a million times already, but you didn't mind. You were already so phased out that he could be announcing the break up of Stray Kids', and you honestly wouldn't even catch it.

The familiar beat of their upcoming title track boomed through the speakers, and as if on autopilot, you sang along. You had heard the beginning of that very song so many times now, the lyrics were as good as engraved into the inside of your eyelids.

Once the first verse and chorus were over, the song stopped, as did you. It was when the song didn't play again you finally snapped out of your computer-trance. You shifted your eyes from the screen over to your boyfriend who was sitting on the other side of the room.

"Y/n."

You then realized you had been singing along, and probably not as quiet as you had thought. "Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to distract you. I'll keep quiet." You quickly apologized.

You were hanging out with your boyfriend, yes- but he was still at work, and you'd hate to be the reason for him switching out of his creative-mode.

"No! No, no, don't worry. You're just so good? How come I have never heard you sing before?" Chan grinned as he turned his spinny-chair to face you and fell back into it, looking at you with admiration.

You had been sitting on the floor with your back against the seat of the couch, so the coffee table by the mentioned couch had your laptop at shoulder-height, meaning you had to close the screen of your computer to see your boyfriend. Once you had done so, you moved your hands up to your face, covering your cheeks.

"I don't like the attention. I hate it when people look at me like- exactly like you're doing now, stop!" You giggled when Chan leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He decided to mess around with you and started staring you down. You laughed and begged him to stop, but the more you did, the more intensely he stared at you- until he eventually cracked, sending you both into fits of laughter.

Lee Know

"First things first rest in peace Uncle Phil."

The music blared from your headphones straight into your head, being the only thing keeping you motivated as you did some housework. Seeing as you were mopping when the J.Cole song started playing, you figured the handle would prove to be the perfect microphone.

"For real, you the only father that I ever knew." You continued, singing and rapping along while shaking your butt and cleaning the floor. Maybe not the world's most efficient cleaning strategy, but my-oh-my did it get the job done.

Due to the loud volume in your headphones, you didn't hear the front door open and shut, as your boyfriend came home for the day.

Minho didn't even get the chance to put down his bag before his attention was completely wrapped around you having a concert in your living-room. He quickly recognized the song and let his head bob along to the beat, even though he could only hear you rapping, and not the song itself. He kicked off his shoes and placed his things on the ground before he slowly made his way into the living-room, doing a little boogie as he did so.

It wasn't until you finally turned around almost a minute later you saw your boyfriend joking around, dancing to your rapping. You instantly dropped the mop and let out a little scream as he startled you, covering your face with your hands once you saw it was just him.

"Minho! What are you doing?" You cried out in embarrassement after removing your headphones. Minho couldn't help but chuckle at you before he came closer and gave you a kiss-hello.

"Y/n, I never knew you had such voice-control! You've never rapped in front of me before, why?" He asked when he pulled away, his arms still wrapped around your waist, but his face a few inches away from yours.

"Because you're an actual rapper in an actual band!! That's like showing Michelangelo your drawing!" You argued back, a massive smile on your face. Minho then continued to shower you in compliments, making you hide your blushing face from him by burying it into his chest.

Changbin

The kitchen had all kinds of different smells as you were stirring the pot of soup you had on the stove in front of you. The kitchen-window was open, letting in a fresh spring breeze, and the radio was playing a familiar song.

"Hold me close and hold me fast The magic spell you cast This is La Vie En Rose." You softly sang along, your body swaying back and forth to the tune. You continued to sing along as you used the wooden-spoon to stir around, making sure it didn't burn.

(bro, i think i fucked up my sOUP)

"Hey, Y/n/n." It suddenly came from the doorway to the kitchen, instantly causing you to stop singing and spin around. "Hi, Binnie." You gave him a smile and then turned back around, squeezing your eyes shut, only for a second- as if you were trying to erase the past ten seconds. You hoped the radio was louder than your voice, but that hope soon came crashing down.

"No, why'd you stop?" He asked as he placed a few sheets of paper on the table and continued over to you. You started smiling like an idiot for a second before you raised your hands to cover your face. Chanbin noticed and chuckled as he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you. "Don't be shy!"

He then spun you around so you were facing him, but your hands still covered your face. This made Changbin just chuckle even more. He tried to jokingly pry your hands from your face, but you just shoved your head into his shoulder so he wouldn't be able to grab you properly. You either couldn't help but chuckle as you messed around, but quickly stopped once you remembered you were cooking.

You turned around to keep stirring your soup, Changbin never let go of you. "But tell me, why have I never heard you sing before when your voice is THAT good?" He asked, but you ignored him.

"For real?" He tried again, but you pretended he didn't say anything.

"Would you like some soup?" You asked him, turning slightly to look at him. He seemed amused, but he just nodded, accepting your choice of lunch.

Hyunjin

Hot water poured down your back, the whole shower smelling like your body wash. You had just gotten back from a run and decided to clean up a bit before Hyunjin came back from work. So after getting out of your leggings and hoodie, you had grabbed your speaker and headed for the washroom.

Knowing Hyunjin wasn't home, you qued the best of the best from your playlist, getting ready to absolutely shred the imaginary rap battles you were about to have. Banger after banger played as you sang into your microphone. Your mic being an empty shampoo bottle you had yet to throw out.

You were mid-shampoo when Streets by Doja Cat played, and you almost slipped and fell while hurriedly reaching for your microphone.

"Damn, papi, you a rare breed, no comparing." You borderline yelled, as if you had just gotten out of a failed relationship where you still loved your partner, when in fact that wasn't your case at all. You were very much in love with your boyfriend, and you were on great terms- but for the sake of your rap battle, you had to get into it.

"When other chickens tryna get in my coop 'Cause you're a one in a million There ain't no man like you!" Not to toot your own horn or anything, but you could confidently say you absolutely bodied that verse, and you were soon let know you weren't the only one who thought so.

(I don't actually think he is the one to cuss, but this is simply because I cannot think of another way to say it, so for the lack of a better word:) "Fuck it up, baby!" You heard Hyunjin hype you up on the other side of the bathroom door, making your stomach drop for a second.

"You're not supposed to be home yet." You answered him after turning off the speaker, and the shower. You stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around you, then went to open the door.

"Well, I had to hurry home when I heard the rap God themselves was having a concert in our bathroom." Hyunjin chuckled once you opened the door with almost a shameful face. "Should I talk to JYP about getting you a rap-audition, or..?" He dragged out the last word, kind of he was taunting you, but in the most loving way possible. Feeling your cheeks grow hot, you closed the door back up and locked him out.

"I'm never leaving this bathroom." You announced as you covered your face, even though Hyunjin could no longer see you.

"Y/n/n, I was kidding! You were great though, I might actually talk to JY-" He started again, but you cut him off by groaning, causing the both of you to break out laughing.

Han

Clicking of a pen. Gentle tapping of a foot. Frustrated hair ripping. You had seen these symptoms before- that's right, Jisung was in a slump.

You were at the studio with your boyfriend, and you were both seated in the sitting group, Jisung leaning his elbows on the table, head in his hands, tugging at his hair as if it would activate his creative juices. You had tagged along just to get out of the house, and maybe Jisung needed moral support, and wouldn't you have guessed- that was exactly what he needed.

"You good?" You asked him after he let out the umpteenth sigh in the past hour. He then finally confessed he just couldn't get the ending of the second verse down. "Why don't you sing it, so you can hear what's missing, rather than just reading it?"

He did as you suggested and sang through it. When he came to the part he was talking about, you also heard it. Something about it was just kinda.. off.

You tilted your head to the side as you were thinking of ways to better it, to try and help him. An idea popped into your head, and maybe it could work- after all you were no song writer. You tried your best to explain to Jisung what it was you were thinking, but about half-way through, you could see he was as lost as that one time Chan and Changbin had accidentally left the two of you behind at IKEA.

"I'm so sorry, babe. I don't fully understand what you mean." He confessed, and you nodded, knowing well that was him being sweet about the fact that you sucked at explaining things. So in the spirit of making it easier for him to understand, you just sang it. You sang through the song and added the part you had tried to explain.

"Did that make more sense?" You asked when you were done, looking from the sheet of paper up at your boyfriend, who was sat there, his lips slightly parted as his jaw hung lose. "Jisung? Babe?" You tried to snap him back to reality as it seemed he had zoned out, but only for a moment.

"Wait, that was so good? Since when were you that good?" Jisung suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree, smiling and almost bouncing in his seat. He continued to shower you in compliments, making you feel like a turtle trying to get back into its shell.

"Stop. If you ever mention me singing again, I will throw myself out the window." You said, both humor in your tone, and being dead serious at the same time.

"Okay, dramatic much?" Jisung joked back, making you shove his shoulder as you chuckled alongside him.

Felix

A car zoomed past you as you walked on the pavement on the side of the road, admiring the spring at its full bloom. You were almost a bit disappointed when you reached your home as you wanted to continue to look at the flowers, but that thought soon fell right out of your head. As you walked up the staircase to your apartment, you heard a constant noise grow louder and louder. You were about to turn the key when you realized the noise was more rhythmic than you originally thought, and that the music was coming from inside your apartment.

Curiosity completely consumed your body when you finally opened the door, and was met with a wall of noise. You took a few steps in and shut the door behind you, protecting the outside world from the sight you had in front of you.

Felix was using a hairbrush as he jumped around both on the floor and in the couch, crying out the lyrics to a song you didn't quite recognize. You laughed at your boyfriend as you kicked off your shoes and hung your coat in the closet.

Felix finally spotted you and quickly pulled out his phone that was connected to the speakers, and changed the song. The familiar intro of your favorite song soon played, and it didn't take as much as a second before you were as hyped as Felix were. You began jumping around and dancing with him, matching his energy.

Felix screamed the lyrics into the hairbrush before he swiftly tossed you the brush, letting you pop off as well. You rapped the words perfectly into the brush, standing on the couch as your concert evolved.

The song eventually came to an end, causing the both of you to fall breathlessly to the ground, heaving for air- massive smiles on your faces. The ground was cool against your now sweaty backs. A few seconds passed before Felix spoke.

"I don't think I have ever heard you rap before." He admitted. You kept staring at the ceiling, ignoring the boy at your side for a few seconds before you decided to answer him.

"And you will never hear it again."

Both you and Felix could back the claim that he had never moved as fast as he did when you said that. He had jumped up so he was on his elbows, facing you with wide eyes.

"No!! Please! You were so good!" He cried out, making you laugh at him. You just gave him a wink before you got to your feet and went to get the groceries you had left in the hallway.

Seungmin

"How about we go in there? Maybe I can find you a shirt?" You spoke after pointing to a store.

You were currently out shopping with your boyfriend, Seungmin. He had asked you to get him an outfit, not for any special occasion of anything, just for shits and giggles. It was your favorite type of dates, the ones where you don't really plan anything, you just end up doing fun and silly things.

Seungmin nodded and you soon dragged him into the store. The layout of the shop was like any other, so you soon made your way to the back where the mens clothing was.

As you were casually roaming the racks of clothes, the speakers soon started playing one of your favorite songs, making it impossible for you to not hum along. You kept looking at the different items of clothing on your left, Seungmin behind you, looking through the clothes on your right hand side.

Soon, the song picked up, you quietly jamming along, allowing yourself to softly sing along as there were no other customers near you.

Your hand suddenly slid over a material that caught your attention. It was a green oversized tee, with some colorful and funky letters on the front. You cut yourself off to turn around and show Seungmin the shirt, asking him what he thought about the item.

You held it up, but no reply. "Seungmin?" You tried again. It was odd seeing as he was looking at you with a slight smile, yet he was not replying to your question. You then lowered the shirt and waved your hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"You okay?" You asked him once he gently shook his head to re-focus his eyes. He nodded gleefully.

"Sorry, your voice was just so good that I completely forgot where we were." He admitted, giving you a look. You pursed your lips and spun on your heel, so he wouldn't see your burning cheeks.

I.N

Date night! You and boyfriend Jeongin had just been at a local restaurant for a cute night out. Nothing overly fancy, just a chance to enjoy each others company, since you both had been busy lately.

After you had paid your bill, the two of you went for a walk to enjoy the warm, evening air. With nowhere in mind, you just casually wandered down the street, your hands intertwined as you swung them back and forth, pulling and pushing at each other in a joking manner.

"Woah, when did this get here?" Jeongin suddenly asked as you passed a building with a bright neon sign hanging out front. You looked to your side to see what it was he was talking about.

Karaoke, the neon sign read. You turned back to your boyfriend and gave him a smug smile, hoping he was thinking the same as you. He returned the smile and suddenly you were being shown to a private room by the hostess.

The first few songs were just the two of you messing around, screaming ABBA into your respective microphones. At one point while picking the next song, Jeongin saw a song he really wanted to do, but as you didn't know the lyrics, you decided to sit this one out.

He belted his heart out to the tune you found unfamiliar, but you enjoyed it nonetheless. Jeongin was after all a singer in a world-renowned band- boy had talent.

The song came to an end, resulting in you giving him a standing ovation as he playfully bowed repeatedly.

"I'm your biggest fan!" You raised your hands to your mouth and pretended to be yelling it at the 'stage', like he just held a concert for thousands. You both laughed at yourselves before Jeongin announced it would be his turn to sit one out. You took that as you cue to get up from the couch and pick a song.

You were no singer, never was- never will be, at least not in public. So when you had to pick a song, you didn't care if it didn't 'fit your range', or 'suit your voice'. You picked a song you liked and ran with it.

The melody started, and you raised your mic to your lips, singing the words that were showing on the large screen in front of you. You found it wasn't as fun to sing without your boyfriend, but got through the song anyways.

As most things do, the song came to and end. You placed the mic on the table and turned around to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. Mid turn, you saw your boyfriend like you never had before. His eyes were wide and his jaw was lose.

"What?" You asked him, uncapping the water bottle and taking a swig.

"Where did that come from?" He asked, eyes still wide as dinner-plates. You raised your eyebrow in a questioning manner, as if you were asking him to elaborate. "You're an amazing singer! How have I never heard that before?"

You felt your cheeks grow hot, and your eyes instantly found the ground, suddenly too shy to look at Jeongin. He chuckled at your reaction, and leaned forward so he could reach your hand from where he was sitting. He then pulled you back so you fell to the couch, crossing your arms over your chest, your shoulders up to your ears by now.

"We have to do this more often so I can hear you sing more!" He stated as he poked your arm, trying to get you to be less shy- and somehow it worked.

Hope you liked it! Feel free to request again!

-bentley

#kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop one shot #kpop requests #kpop drabble #stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids reactions #stray kids one shots #stray kids requests #stray kids drabbles #bang chan #changbin #lee know #hyunjin #felix #han #seungmin #i.n

[nakamoto-aesthetics]

Noona | k.jw

synopsis: a typical story about a girl who has a crush on jungwoo but this time... you are his noona

pairing: crush!jungwoo x female!reader

genre: very sexual, with some fluff

warning: hard dom!jungwoo, sir!kink, some teasing, a speck of degradation

word count: 3.9k

a/n: yes the background of the banner says aquarius because the reader in this story is an aquarius😊 (btw: im a scorpio🙃♏️)

“jungwoo” you shout throughout the house. he was supposed to help you set up your iPhone because switching from android to iPhone was a little difficult for you.

the only reason why you switched was that you wanted to FaceTime the other members and do group calls. it was a good way to keep an eye on them in case they were doing things they had no business doing. yeah, you were the mom taking care of all her children. you were the second oldest of the bunch. even though taeil was older, you still treated him like your child.

you were born on February 5th, 1995; you teased johnny all the time about being older since you guys were only 4 days apart. he would play along with you by rolling his eyes or lightly shoving you as a joke. you and he always had a ball when you were with each other, both of you making the group laugh and smile. overall, the members loved you wholeheartedly, it was like you were one of them. you were all family.

footsteps were heard on the hardwood floor and soon the blond head of hair popped up. he was wearing a white hoodie with black baggy pants, the hood was up, the blond hair splayed on his forehead. he looked so damn sexy at that moment. you had to keep yourself from biting your lip.

oh yeah, what you forgot to mention was that you liked jungwoo. yeah, you still treated him like he was your kid but on the side, nobody knew you liked him, except for johnny. he saw the way you looked at jungwoo one time and immediately figured it out. he pulled you to the side after that and you confirmed it to be true. to this day johnny subtly teases you whenever you with jungwoo and you hated it.

“did you get it?” he walks up to you and looks at the phone in your hands. “wow… noona with an iPhone?” he says dramatically.

“shut the fuck up woo” you playfully smack his shoulder and he grins.

“it’s true!” he says loudly and laughs.

“whatever” you roll your eyes playfully, smiling. “can you be quiet and help me now?” you say in a lighthearted manner.

“yes, my lady” he bows and holds out his hand. you try not to break out into a smile but it doesn’t work. a wide grin fills your face as you place the phone in his hand. he then walks over to the table and sits down and you do the same.

the next minutes are spent with you hovering over his shoulder, watching what he does, you putting in emails and passwords as he turns away from the screen, and him asking you security questions.

“okay now enter a pin so nobody can get into your phone” he directs your phone toward you and turns the other way so he can’t see.

‘xxxx’ and then you put it in again. “there,” you say. he looks at the phone again.

“okay now you need face id” he says and taps on it.

“face id?”

“yes you can unlock your phone like that and it just makes everything so much easier. here. just follow the instructions” he hands you the phone and you do exactly that until the end.

“there were done. you know how to do the rest right? download apps, add contacts, change the wallpaper?” jungwoo looks at you.

“yes and if I don’t then I‘ll just ask you” you grin widely, teasing him.

“mm” he hums pressing his lips together as if he didn’t want to help you but in reality, he didn’t mind it one bit.

“you love me woo, there’s no need to hide it” you reach up to brush the pieces of hair that fell in front of his eyes.

“I never hid it,” he says almost too low for you to hear. his eyes were serious, there was no hint of playfulness in his face or tone.

“what are you talking about?” you tense up but continue to brush the other side of his hair out of his eyes.

“I mean that... I like you noona, I like you a lot and I've felt this way since I met you,” you take your hands away from his hair and place them in your lap trying to take in the information. you could’ve been with him this whole time and instead of speaking up as you should have; you waited because you didn’t know if he would feel the same way. right now you were internally punching yourself for being a scaredy-cat. jungwoo notices your actions and there’s a hurt look in his eyes for a second.

“it's okay if you don’t feel the same way, I thought I should just tell you since there was an opportunity. I don’t want it to be awkward just act like I never told you-“

you plant your lips on his, wrapping your arms around his neck. he freezes for a second before kissing you back and wrapping his arms around your waist. fireworks lighting up in both your stomachs; your hearts were pounding rhythmically as your lips were chasing each other’s wanting more of the other's lips.

‘his lips are so soft and pretty’ you thought.

‘her lips are so soft and pretty’ he thought.

neither of you wanted to pull apart but both of you were losing your breath. jungwoo took your bottom lip in between his lips and tugged it as he pulled away. you gasped softly at his action and opened your eyes looking at him.

“wow,” you whisper.

“what?”

“that was so much better than I imagined”

“how so?” he tried to hide his grin.

“because your lips…” you touch your lips with one hand and then touch his with the other hand. your fingers brush over his lips, still mesmerized by the kiss.

“what about them?” he kisses the pads of your fingers that were placed on his lips, making you let out a small breath.

“they’re so soft and plush” he chuckles at your words. you could feel the vibrations of his laugh on your fingertips. you bit lip and stroke his bottom lip.

“and so are yours so come here” he grips your waist and shifts you onto his lap. you let out an ‘oh’ and he places his hand on your cheek, pulling you in for another kiss, you sighed into it and moved your lips at the same pace. it felt so magical and dreamy. you never wanted this feeling to end. your heated bodies pressed together wanting to feel every inch of the other. his hands traveled down to your ass and he squeezed it, making you moan softly. he took this as an opportunity to slip his tongue inside.

“jungwoo” you moaned softly but you were muffled by his tongue in your mouth. he continued to feel around your mouth with his tongue, ignoring you.

“well well well,” a voice says making you two pull apart immediately and look at who the voice belonged to. it was johnny. “I see you finally told him y/n” he adds on.

“jungwoo confessed first” you look at him and smile.

“oh wow I’m surprised, I thought you would be the first to say something,” johnny asks and walks to the counter to get something.

“ehh I don’t know. I just can’t believe me and he could’ve been together the first month I met him. I’ve been waiting so long for this moment.” you say and pecks his lips. he smiles and pecks your cheek.

“well now you finally have him, gosh that was so annoying. I knew jungwoo had a crush on you but I couldn’t say anything, it was so frustrating. I’m just glad you guys know now. anyways, I’ll be back later,” johnny puts on his shoes and coat, opening the door. “oh, and jungwoo?”

“yeah?”

“don’t forget to wrap up, if you don’t have any there’s some in my top dresser drawer.” johnny winks at you two before walking out the door.

you laugh loudly and rest your head on jungwoo’s shoulder. he laughs aloud with you and shakes his head. “johnny hyung is something else” he utters.

“that he is” you agree with him. the atmosphere soon grows quiet, only filled with your shared breaths.

“woo?” you say softly, still with your head on his shoulder. you trace circles on the bare skin of his neck.

“mhm,” he rubs your lower back softly.

“what are we?”

“whatever you wanna be” he answers.

“what do you want us to be?”

“I want us to be… together,” he says and it makes you pause for a second. you wanted to be with jungwoo no doubt about that but was it too early? you’ve known jungwoo for 8 months, you practically knew him inside and out at this point he wasn’t that hard to read. most of all though, you loved him wholeheartedly and you loved him too much to take it slow. you were ready.

“me too,” you say against his neck.

“good.” he smiled like an idiot. “you're my baby now and nobody else's” he pulls your face up to his and plants kisses on your neck. you moan softly feeling heat pool to your core. his lips were so plump against your skin you wondered what they would feel like on your-

“you wanna go in the room?” he kisses along your jaw. you persistently nod your head. he grabs your phone off the table and picks you up, walking towards his room.

“do you have condoms?” you ask.

“nope ill have to get some but for now jaehyun has some” he opens the door and shuts it after he walks in.

“who is jaehyun fucking?” you breathily laugh.

“don’t know, don’t care, all im worried about is who I’m fucking” he lays you on his bed and strokes your cheek. your heart skips a beat right then and there. that felt so good to hear, you’d been waiting way too long for this day to come.

he puts your phone on the desk next to his bed and goes to jaehyuns drawer, looking for the condoms. you watched jungwoo attentively, watching the way his eyebrows knitted together and the way he bit his lip as he looked through the drawer. you guided your eyes down his body. you could see the prominent bulge forming under his thin black pants, making you bite your lip. jungwoo was incredibly sexy.

“found them,” he says and soon closes the drawer coming back with a gold square package. he lowers himself so he’s hovering over you. “are you sure you want to do this? we don’t have to if you don’t want to” he caresses your cheek.

“no, I want to do this jungwoo” you hold his cheek in your palm. he smiles softly and kisses your forehead.

“okay noona” he smiles softly and stands up, pulling off his shirt.

“damn...” you breathily whisper and run your hands down his torso, feeling on his abs.

“like what you see?” he chuckles, mocking you but you don’t mind it; much too distracted by his figure.

“like is such an understatement,” you say in a hushed tone.

“what do you mean?” he tilts his head and swiftly looks your figure up and down.

“I love what I see...” you sit up and grip his waist, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

“don’t fucking looking at me like that,” he says calmly but there’s aggression under his statement.

“why?” you challenged, continuing to look at him.

“babygirl, you aren’t gonna be able to walk after I’m done with you” he caresses your cheek.

“are you sure your big enough to accomplish that?” you say, making jungwoo cock his eyebrow.

you already could tell jungwoo was big enough to ruin but you wanted to play around and tease him a bit.

“positive” he simply says.

“I don’t think so”

“you’ve never even seen it and a bulge does not count,” he says and you shrug trying to tease him further, he shakes his head at you and scoffs before looking at you again.

“my dick is big enough- you know what why don’t you take a look for yourself” he gestures to his pants. “I mean you're already in the right position” he was right. your face lined up perfectly with the waistband of his pants.

you nod and grip the waistband of his black pants, you gulp and pull them down leaving him in his underwear. his bulge was still prominent, that alone was big so you could only imagine what the full thing looked like. you grip the waistband of them and look up at him; his eyes are staring right back into yours. your breath hitches before you look back down to his waistband. you pull it down slowly and are first met with the base of his dick.

inches on inches.

you couldn’t believe how long and thick he was. it felt like you were pulling the thin fabric down for an eternity.

once he stepped out of the underwear you leaned back so you could see his length completely. your eyebrows raise and your jaw drops.

“am I still not big enough?” he chuckles at your expression. you gulp and shake your head no. you were speechless, you knew he was big but not this big. how could somebody be so long and thick. ‘will it fit?’ you widen your eyes.

“are you done?” he crosses his arms. you look up at him and nod. “good now I want you to strip” he grabs your hands, stands you up and he sits on the bed.

“you want me to give you a show?” you turn around to face him.

“mhm,” he leans back. his hands are behind him, holding him up.

if there’s one thing your good at, it’s giving someone a show. you turn around so your back is facing him. you cross your arms and grip the hem of your shirt, pulling it up over your head. you let it fall to the floor and reach behind your back undoing your bra. you hold it in place so it doesn't fall and look at him over your shoulder. he’s biting his lip in anticipation. you smirk and let the bra drop to the floor. you run your hands down your sides and over your curves to tease him, this works because you can see the way his dick twitches once you do that.

you decide to stop teasing him and pull down your pants, leaving you in the white lace panties. you can hear his muffled groans and you bite your lip. you loved the way he reacted to you. the smallest things turned him on, you couldn’t wait to tease him soon. you could already see it; you teasing him every chance you get and then you get punished for your actions. oh, how you couldn’t wait.

you slip your panties off slowly and throw it at him over your shoulder.

“good luck getting these back,” he says and puts them under his pillow.

“hey!” you protest, still not turned around.

“I’ll buy you more now turn around please”

“why? just so you can take them?” you say in an irritated voice. those were some of your favorite pairs.

“I’ll get you another pair of those, and I’ll buy two pairs of every underwear, how’s that?” he tries to compromise.

“okay...” you try to hide your smile but it doesn’t work.

“okay now kindly turn the fuck around so I could see that sexy-ass body,” he says impatiently, making you chuckle. you finally turn around and drop your arms to your sides so he can see everything.

his jaw hangs open and he looks your body up and down multiple times, trying to take it all in. his mind was so fuzzy at this moment in time. he’s been waiting to see your body. he’s dreamt of it so many times, often waking up to a little surprise sticking up from under his pants. your body was so much better in real life, it was amazing in the dream but it was so so much better in real life. words couldn’t describe it nor the way jungwoo was feeling at the moment.

“you like what you see?” you mock him. he nods his head quickly, biting his lip.

you chuckle and walk over to him. both of you staring at the other's naked body. his hand goes to your bare waist, moving down to your hips and then ass but he doesn’t squeeze it he just... holds it.

“woo are you-”

“you're so beautiful noona,” he says like he was put under a spell. you chuckle and grab his hands, holding them so then you could sit on his lap. your throbbing pussy brushes his hard dick for a second, making his and your breath hitch. you lay your head on his shoulder and peck his neck.

“I think you beautiful too jungwoo” you already knew he was smiling before you looked up. the smile filled up his face, making his eyes shine brightly. you smile in return and leave soft kisses on his shoulder.

“alright, alright stop before I end up cuddling you instead. I still have to ruin you and make you not walk” his hands go down to your ass and grip it harshly, you breathily gasp, and before you know it you on your back and he's hovering over you.

“you're my little slut tonight noona,” he says in your ear and kisses under your jaw. you moan his name in return, he immediately stops his actions and tilts your chin down so you can see him.

“uh uh what’s my name baby girl” his eyes are dark and his tone is low. he wasn’t playing around this time.

“daddy?” you ask uncertainly.

“wrong” he pulls one of your legs apart from the other so your spread out. he raises his hand and strikes your inner thigh. the loud sound filling the room.

“what the fuck?” you hiss and reach to rub it but before you can he grips your wrist and pins it above your head.

“every time you answer wrong, I hit that same spot. your safeword is y/n and my safeword is jungwoo because it would be weird if one of us just starts shouting our own name. it would catch the attention of the other” he says and you nod.

“is it.. baby boy?” you furrow your eyebrows.

“definitely not” he slaps the spot again and you clench your jaw out of pain.

“what about sir?” you ask and he raises his hand, making you squeeze your eyes shut in anticipation.

“correct” he rubs the red area. you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding. he kisses your lips, increasingly getting rougher. you moan against his lips, the sound of heavy breaths now filling the room before he makes his way down your body.

“sir huh, who would’ve thought? honestly, I thought of you more like a daddy kind of guy” you look down at him, he looks up at you with the darkest, most passionate eyes, his lips were red and slightly swollen from the kisses while his hair was slightly messy. it was a sight to see.

“shut the hell up” his hot breath hit the skin of your lower stomach. you bit your lip and nodded, wanting him to continue desperately.

he makes his way down until he’s hovering over your glistening pussy. he spreads you open with two fingers and you throw your head back.

“sir” you cry out, after all, that waiting and anticipation all you wanted was to be touched, licked, and ruined.

“you little slut, so wet for me” he glides his finger down you, making your body convulse. he barely did anything and you were already a mess. you attempted to move your hips closer to his fingers but he was one step ahead of you; his hand gripped your hip tightly.

“if you want to end up getting touched then you better stay still” he warned you.

needless to say, it was a long night.

the morning after, just like jungwoo said you could barely walk.

when you woke up you could already feel the pain down there when you moved your legs slightly. jungwoo did a number on you last night. you wouldn’t be surprised if you find out he had accidentally ripped you open.

nonetheless, you had to use the bathroom but jungwoo was still asleep. you tried to wait it out but scrolling through instagram and tiktok but it came to a point where you just couldn’t hold it anymore. you slowly got out of bed trying not to wake the boy and you successfully did just that.

when your two feet hit the ground, your legs almost gave out on you. you had to hold onto the bed for support. you caught a glimpse of your body and realized you were naked. you looked around for a shirt and saw jungwoos, you stable yourself and walk over, grabbing it and slipping it over your head. it looked like a dress on you, jungwoo was so tall. you then limped to the door and opened it ever-so-slightly, slipping out in-between the small crack.

you limped your way to the bathroom and closed the door shut. you were so proud of yourself because that was not an easy task. he messed you up.

once you used the toilet and washed your hands, after you struggled to sit down on the toilet for a minute or two, you walked out. you headed to the kitchen, hungry from the loss of energy last night. you grabbed leftovers out of the fridge, heating it up on a plate, and then eating it. once you were finished, you put your dish in the sink and were on your way back to jungwoos room but not before seeing johnny.

“woah what happened to you?” he looks at you before he comes to a realization. he smirks. “you and jungwoo must’ve had a ball last night huh?”

“shut the fuck up johnny” you roll your eyes.

“what’s with the attitude?” he drops his smirk.

“nothing- I’m sorry okay everything just hurts right now. he fucked me up huh?” you breathily chuckle.

“yeah he did... so how was it?”

“it was... really fun to be honest. he knows how to work his hips. god, that boy has a lot of stamina” you bit your lip thinking about what happened last night leading up to this point.

johnny cringes at the thought. “nevermind stop I don’t want to know anything else” he waves his hands. you chuckle and hit his shoulder.

“you’ll be fine but if you’ll excuse me. I do have to return to him.” johnny nodded and walked past you. you limped back to jungwoos room, slipping through the crack. you shut the softly and quietly limp your way to the bed, situating yourself back into the spot you were once in. you let out a breath of relief once you realize jungwoo was still asleep. you pick up your phone once more and scroll through twitter.

“told you, you wouldn’t be able to walk after I was done with you,” a deep voice says.

“damn it!” you shout and all you hear is airy laughs from beside you.

#nakamoto yuta #nct doyoung #nct fluff #nct haechan #nct imagines #nct jaehyun #nct johnny #nct jungwoo #nct mark #nct scenarios #nct 127 #jungwoo x reader #kim jungwoo #jungwoo #nct x reader

[hit-em-with-the-four]

Lifetime of Waiting *Chapter 2*

AN: I am so so sorry that this is late! I promised it such a long time ago and I am finishing my semester of school and just started a new job so I’ve been less than a person! Here we go! I’m slowly getting the swing of things!! Without further a do, enjoy!

——————————

Chapter 2

Tessa wasn’t really sure what made her run from her soulmates. Maybe it was her commitment issues after a lifetime of being alone or maybe it was the alcohol. Either way she couldn’t bring herself to face them and so there she was outside of the club waiting for her uber without her coat. The cold New York air was not kind to her and made her regret her decision of leaving the club but it was far too late to turn back. She had made some lame excuse to Anise saying that she was going home to work on some case studies when in reality she just had to leave. As her Uber pulls up she sees the two men, her two men emerge from the club looking worried. She makes eye contact with one of them before getting into her uber and shutting the door.

“Good evening miss, how are you?” The older gentleman asks beginning the ten minute drive back to her apartment.

“I’m great thank you, how are you?” She politely makes conversation with the man until he drops her off at her apartment. She graciously thanks him and exits heading to the front door of her apartment building.

Once Tessa is back in her apartment, she is peeling off her heels and slipping out of her dress before drawing a bath. She cannot seem to get her mind of her two soulmates and how she never got their names. ‘Great, I meet the two im destined to be with and run away before I learn their names.’ She groans internally giving herself grief. From beside the tub her phone is going off.

Anise: I know that excuse was bullshit, now what really happened?

Tessa rolls her eyes and begins to think of an answer that her friend would think was acceptable.

Tessa: I got a notification regarding an assignment I needed to finish. Sorry!

Anise: This conversation isn’t over... btw not coming home! Found my soulmate and spending time with him. Sorry!

Tessa: I’m so happy for you love! We’ll talk when you get home. I want details of course.

Anise: Of course! I’ll let you know periodically how I am and where I am okay? Isabella and Ryan are going to his for the night so you’re alone.

Tessa: Amazing, thank you! Have fun, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do ;)

Tessa shuts her phone off and rests it on the toilet seat lid.

At the club Mat and Tito are both confused as they watch their soulmate run out of there.

“What the fuck just happened?” Mat asks and Tito shakes his head.

“I think we just met our soulmate and let her run away from us.” Tito says running a hand over his face. He had been waiting for his soulmate for 80 years now and let her slip through his fingers. His family was one of the families in which all of them had been cursed with a long life expectancy, Anthony had been the luckiest and was stuck at 18 until the year 2015. Then he had begun to age naturally as a way to find his soulmate. He didn’t understand it fully but his mother had always told him growing up that the world worked in weird ways. Mat and his family were under the same issue. They all must find their soulmates before they can start to age again and Mat was the last one to find his soulmate. His little sister had found hers just a few years prior in her final year of high school, leaving Mat the only Barzal without a soulmate.

“How does this work though? Are we both her soulmate?”

“Yeah, I mean I guess. But how can someone have two?”
“I don’t know, but I’m guessing by the way we both reacted she is telling the truth.”

“I mean, yeah there is no reason why she would lie.”
“Where the fuck did she go by the way? We need to go after her?”

“Fuck, yeah. She probably left, we should see if we can stop her.” The two men exit the club and are looking around frantically to see if they can find the girl that they’ve been looking for. Anthony sees her out of the corner of his eye and makes brief eye contact before she gets into a car and speeds off.

“She just left.” He huffs watching the car fade from his eye sight.

“What do you mean she just left?” Mat asks.

“She got in an Uber and left. What else do you want me to say?”

“Fuck, so we’ll never see her again.”

“Good chance.” The pair head back into the bar feeling disjointed and defeated.

“What’s got you guys so upset?” Anders asks holding onto a new woman who neither man had seen before.

“We let our soulmate get away.” Mat says slumping down into the booth.

“Why?”

“She ran.” Anthony says with a shrug.

“We don’t even know her name. We were stupid and didn’t ask her name.” Mat runs a hand through his hair and watches the young woman furiously type on her phone. Then it clicks for him, “fuck, you’re the girl that was dancing with her.”

“What was her name?” Anthony asks leaning across the table towards her. She giggles leaning into Anders’ shoulder.

“I don’t know if that’s for me to say boys.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean obviously Tessa didn’t want to tell you?” Anise smiles letting the boys know her name.

“Why didn’t she want to tell us?... wait her name is Tessa?” Anthony asks catching on to her slip.

“Yep....” Anise nods.

“And you are?”

“I’m Anise, pleasure to meet you.”

“I’m Anthony and this is Mat.”

“Nice to meet you Anise.” Mat says politely. Anders pulls her impossibly closer to his side and she places her hand on his knee.

“So will you tell us where she is.”

“Nope, she’ll find you when the time is right. I’m not interfering in fate.” Anise shrugs and the two boys look at her incredulously.

“Why not?!”

“Because fate was telling her to run, I am not going to interfere with her gut. You’ll meet again when you meet again.”

“Well we need to be with her.” Mat huffs gripping at his hair.

“Well, if she doesn’t want you to know where she is, then suck it up. She will come when she wants.” Both boys leave it at that and go to get another beer.

A few weeks go by before Tessa runs into the boys again. She had just finished her shift at the gentleman’s club and was on her way home when she spotted the two men in suits walking out of a classy high rise. She ducks her head and continues to walk right by, hoping that the two boys don’t notice her. She’s almost of their sight when she’s pulled into a hard chest.

“You think you can walk past us and not have us notice you?” A deep, raspy voice growls in her ear. She’s bites back a moan letting her eyes close.

“No, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She stutters.

“I think you do know baby girl.”

“Nope, not me.” Tessa sighs her head tossing back. If anyone saw her they would think she was crazy. But thankfully it was still dark out being 6 am in winter.

Mat drags his fingers up her arm towards her neck and she lets out a soft whimper showing her neck more. ‘Why is my body reacting this way. I haven’t felt this good in a long time.’ She thinks.

“I know you wanna be choked but I don’t think it’s appropriate in public my dear Tessa.” He smirks, lips close to Tessa’s ear.

“How do you know my name?” She asks gulping.

“Anise.” Tessa rolls her eyes and turns around to face him.

“Of course, well you found me. Hi, now what?” She asks pulling her jacket tighter around her body. Both Anthony and Mat were taken back by her reaction. Tessa notices their faces and sighs, “Sorry, I just got done work and I need to do school work and well, I am a little tired.” She yawns rubbing her eyes and the two boys feel their hearts melting.

“It’s okay, she’s the soulmate of our coworker so the night we met she met him and told us your name.” Anthony says from where he was leaning against the building. Tessa gets a good look at the two men and bite her lip. ‘Fuck they look so good.’

“So, since you know my name can I know yours?” She asks.

“I am Mat or Mathew but normally Mat.”

“And I am Anthony, Tito or Beau. Whichever you prefer.”

“Beau, like handsome in French?” Anthony chuckles shaking his head.

“Kind of, but it’s because of my last name. Beauvillier,” Tessa makes a mental note to search him up later.

“It’s nice to meet you both finally, I am able to put a name to your faces. Now to avoid anymore issues I am going to need both of your numbers.” She shrugs.

“Why don’t we drive you home and get you some coffee so you can do your work. At least right now we can get out of the cold.” Mat says smiling at his soulmate.

“I’d like that but I need someone to hold my hands, they’re both super cold.” Tessa whines exaggeratedly and both boys are quick to grab her hands. Hers feel so tiny in comparison to Mat and Anthony’s.

Once they’re in the car, a nice SUV Tessa thanks the boys.

“Here, give me your phones. I’ll add my number.” She smiles.

“Amazing, thank you.” Tessa cheekily puts her name in Mat’s phone as ‘Babygirl 💕’ and just ‘Tessa🌸’ in Anthony’s as she wants him to decide her nickname.

“Thanks.” Anthony smiles leaning over to kiss her head without a second though. Tessa feels a warm feeling spread through her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” He stutters.

“I liked it, don’t worry hun.”

#anthony beauvillier imagine #anthony beauvillier #tito beauvillier #mathew barzal imagine #mathew barzal #nhl imagines #nhl writing #hit-em-with-the-four-writings

[chicago-geniza]

well i intended to go for a nice evening walk, ended up having a panic attack, ordering a couple of cocktails at the bougie bar, joining a jam session with a bunch of old hippies on the logan green (one of them gave me a handpainted wooden medallion which seems to be carved out of tree bark, strung on a length of yarn???), met a crustpunk train-hopping dude in town for the month (& his dog, in a leather-studded harness) who's lived in 45/50 states & a 44 yr old guy everyone called "the wizard" wearing a tattered, patch-covered robe who shares most of my parents' conspiracy theories & considers himself a latter-day prophet, he bought us sorbet & ice cream, wound up hanging out with them & staying up all night at their indescribably eclectic, cluttered, blood-spattered (!!!) apartment, belonging to 44 yr old guy's art curator father & decorated accordingly, smoking m*th & listening to music & talking (or rather listening to them rant/rave/recount stories from their incredibly wild lives), i gave them advice on applying for unemployment & medicaid & how to appear compliant enough w/ carceral psychiatric intervention so they won't section you without actually submitting to forced medication or institutionalization, especially if they assign you a case worker & do regular "wellness checks." also how to pass off certain aspects of behavioral dysregulation as executive dysfunction, get them to pay for an adhd evaluation, get an adderall IR scrip, sell the 30 mg pills (cite body weight, high doses of other psych meds as reason for higher dose; look sincere; play to systemic biases toward cis white men, unfortunately), & use the cash to buy m*th, if they'd prefer to keep doing that. you can also pass positive psychotic symptoms--agitation etc.--off as severe anxiety, especially if you have a history of trauma, & they will give you benzodiazepines. it is in their best interest to keep you docile, i.e. tranquilized, particularly if your past convictions & involuntary institutionalizations revolve around a pattern of aggressive behavior, & that's On The Record/there's a paper trail. (e.g. one dude got arrested trying to keep cars away from an injured bird on the road, some genre of raptor i think (???) by threatening them with a shopping cart, not hitting them, but like, running at them as if to collide then feinting at the last minute so they'd swerve out of the way. not the safest or most effective maneuver, lotta reckless endangerment, but the motivation was admirable. probably put the fear of god into some drivers, though. he doesn't seem to have, like, impulse control.) it's a lot easier & you have fewer run-ins with the cops if you game the system & appear cooperative. they gave me this coat, which "just showed up in their apartment one day," like i did. 44 yr old guy walked me back to apartment, stole a street sign & tore down a real estate sign en route, lori lightfoot did indeed take down the pride flag in front of her house on july 1st & replace it with an appropriately patriotic american flag, i walked past the idling plainclothes cop car & another marked police vehicle with their Mayoral Guarding Detail inside at like 4.30 am smoking a menthol cigarette (not inhaling), high on m*th, draped in a neon anime jacket, in the company of a visibly insane, unshaven & unshorn middle-aged man in a technicolor patchwork trenchcoat, holding a lit cigarette in one hand & an upside-down traffic cone in the other, which he was using as an ad hoc amplifier for a noise track playing on my phone. he was also carrying the stolen real estate banner &, inexplicably, a stack of mail. i gave him my old backup phone (no SIM card & doesn't hold a charge long, ancient, but still works), since neither he nor the other dude have phones (cops took them), also one hybrid edible for each of them, as a thanks for the m*th & the kindness. their hearts are in the right place but they have some fucked-up beliefs about "reverse racism" being real, while also saying in the same breath that you can tell our country is irredeemable by the way it continues to

treat black people. we were discussing medical weed for seizures on medicaid & 44 yr old guy mentioned one of his close friends, a black epileptic woman, whose seizures were frequent & severe enough they prevented her from working. then he added, in apparent bemusement, they she hadn't spoken to him in some time, & he wondered why. a little while later he relayed their last conversation & i was like "my dude, i can say with 100% certainty she is not talking to you because you said some *appallingly*, jaw-droppingly racist shit & did not even realize it was racist." then i, comma, a white person, explained to this man that he literally thought of their exchange as, like, an abstract argument over insignificant ideas, a theoretical exercise, & therefore considered it simply a smug gotcha to "counter" hotep theories about egyptian origin by claiming that "if that's true, american slavery & the oppression of black people in america are divine retribution for the enslavement of the jews in ancient egypt, an eye for an eye & a deserved punishment." like, first of all, what the actual fuck, if i were that woman i would also never speak to you again, second of all there's the collapse of historical time & mythical time, history & exegesis, an assumption that rests on spurious claims of biblical literalism (zionist colonization logic, btw! him: what's exegesis? what's zionism? me: never mind, not the point. exegesis is the interpretation of religious texts in a religious CONtext, in this case what you would likely call the hebrew bible.)--but most importantly it is 100% irrelevant to this discussion whether or not black americans are Actually Factually descendended from ancient egypt! you just told this woman to her face that the ancestry she claims, of which she's proud, is the reason & justification for SLAVERY & BLACK SUFFERING--not only that, but that if it WERE true, than black people would DESRVE to suffer, by DIVINE DECREE. you are trying to force her to abdicate her claim on this heritage by putting her in a position where she'd be forced to concede complicity in her people's historical & present-day persecution, oppression, & essentially the existence of structural racism. & using The Figural Jew as a rhetorical cudgel to bludgeon her into this corner. what a despicable thing to say. like, he hadn't considered it from her perspective at all, & once he groked why the comment itself was, like, unforgivable (idk, maybe she's more forgiving; she has a virtue-name), i started socratic-method-ing him through why it was particularly unforgivable for *him* to say to *her*--the individual is not responsible for the systems from they benefit, but they are imbricated in them, they are implicated when they actively perpetuate & uphold them, even with speech acts. & finally gave the same "there is no such thing as reverse racism because racism is not an individual act, it is an institutional, systemic phenomenon, & it is an ideology, one which individual acts can bear out or be in accordance with, & to which individuals can subscribe (this bearing it out in their behavior, in their institutional roles, in their interpersonal interactions--here i gave & solicited examples of each) or be subject (also gave & solicited examples). m*th makes me very good at Explaining clearly & he was surprisingly receptive--like, it was astonishing that it had not occurred to him??? but it hadn't, the same way it hadn't occurred to my mother, & she interpreted it as "reverse racist" when their next-door neighbor called her the "white devil" for disputing their property line, & i had to be like "ok but if you called in a random third party to mediate in lily-white [city], oregon, where white supremacists openly drive down the street in pickup trucks with swastika armbands, whose side do you think they would take, statistically speaking, in your property dispute. that's why racism is systemic & institutional, & your rude neighbor calling you a name over a disagreement does not constitute 'reverse racism,' because 'reverse racism' by definition cannot

exist." now this dude wants to like, read books, so i gotta get him some entry-level Intro To Racism primers??? how did i end up here, but better me than his black epileptic (ex-)friend, i guess??? jesus christ. both of these guys have the most chaotic, reactionary politics in a potpourri with these deep commitments to abolition & mutual aid & a kind of proto-anarchist consciousness, none of which would be called by those names, but all of which is borne out in practice & in the politics of everyday life. they remind me a LOT of my parents. i'm loath to imagine how they'd internalize my stepdad's rambling, street-preacher-style libertarian lectures. probably go out & buy guns & invest in gold on the stock market & double down on the conviction that free speech is being curtailed & individual rights are in jeopardy because you can no longer unleash a barrage of harassment against some guy on the street because you think he looked at you funny. these claustrophobic convictions, like the space to express oneself is getting smaller & smaller every day, *other people* are taking it away from you, suffocating you on all sides with their offense demanding your silence, they are *making* the walls close in--when in fact it's more like a holodeck. you're a member of the Hegemonic Group, afforded the privilege of the default, so you don't question the vast verdant expanse that is your domain--ah, Free Speech, the sun never sets on the empire of ~uncensored expression, you can say whatever you want whenever you want without facing consequences because you control all the organs that mete out consequences & you have also determined that those groups who might be adversely affected by your words--emotionally OR materially--are not, well...of consequence. but of course the vast verdant domain is an illusion, photons & forcefields, held together by the all-encompassing TOTALITY of the dominant group's hegemony, power, etc. once that power begins to redistribute throughout the system--however unevenly, however incrementally, however slowly--as even the smallest pieces are appropriated by those deemed inconsequential, who have endured years of systemic, material, institutional violence that allowed the dominant group to become dominant & retain its dominant position--once those 'inconsequential' groups speak up & say "actually, these words bear an indelible imprint of the violence enacted upon us, these words are the legacy of that violence, these words are a tacit endorsement of the ideology behind that violence, which classifies us as subhuman, & even if *you* can't hear those echoes, the words broadcast on two historical frequencies, so now that we're able to broadcast on a frequency *you* can hear, we request you find other language, & consider the implications of the words you've been using for years." well--once The Subaltern Speaks, the dominant group loses its 'innocence,' & becomes aware the vast verdant expanse of language is an illusion of infinite space, aware of the four holodeck walls pressing in behind the simulacrum of the horizon, & suddenly "what one can say without negative consequences"--largely social, sometimes, rarely, if social media goes viral, professional--feels much more claustrophobic. so they get angry. & some of them are just bigots, obviously, but some of them--like my parents, &, even, this weirdly well-intentioned m*thhead who said one of the most shockingly racist things i've heard in my life & *honestly didn't understand why it was racist*, is really riled up about free speech & individual rights, hates the government, hates "FANG" (facebook amazon netflix google) & has a bunch of dystopian conspiracy theories about data harvesting & personal information that only miss the mark in that they get too nefariously biopolitical (billionaires want to put microchips in everybody for surveillance to monitor our movements & sell us more stuff; they don't need to, they already use our phone location & browsing habits to generate the algorithm & sell the information to ad companies lol, it's digital& cast a

single illuminati figure in the role of comic book villain, controlling the operation behind the scenes like an evil puppetmaster (classic conspiracy fare; again, we gotta take that energy, that suspicion, the understanding that they are being taken advantage of & tricked, the idea that power & capital & resources are concentrated among a very small number of people, however it's not an individual wealthy villain with a desire for world domination who wants to turn Free Americans into microchipped drones, it's a *class* of people--or rather several classes, but *who those people are as individuals does not matter*. if you guillotined bill gates, another billionaire would take his place. bill gates qua bill gates is not the problem. it is classes of people who control the means of production & own property & profit enormously from exploiting the labor of a desperate, rapidly increasing underclass, i.e. from the system as it is. therefore it is in their interest to maintain the status quo, because it serves them. 'the rich get richer, the poor get poorer.' the middle class gradually ceases to exist. if you want to compound it by race, consider the GI bill as an example - you learn about it as the leg up that enabled thousands of WWII vets to buy houses, enabling them to enter the middle class. hundreds of thousands of third-gen middle class white americans still reap the structural, socioeconomic benefits of their grandparents' initial upward mobility, including,, very tangibly, those selfsame houses, which can be inherited & then rented out as a second property if the children or grandchildren accrue enough money to buy their own properties. but only about 100 black vets got approved for homeownership loans, despite the staggering numbers of black soldiers who enlisted & applied through the GI bill. anyway! the impulses are there, & they're only being funneled into conspiracy thinking because that makes intuitive sense on a narrative level. these guys have a high school education; so does my stepdad. their reading habits are...eclectic, sporadic, pretty much dictated by occasional recommendations & like, little free libraries around the neighborhood. it's both interesting & frustrating to see like - hey, here are these people, we agree on a lot of things, they're earnest & open & want to learn & would give their neighbor the shirt off their backs as a matter of principle. they'd give a *stranger* the shirt off their backs; they'd share whatever they had. even what chores there are in their collective--they live with two other guys--(dumpster diving, walking the dog, tidying up the apartment) are allocated by ability & inclination. they made advance plans to look after the dog & their roommate with War PTSD on the 4th of july if the fireworks upset them, jokingly called the dog an emotional support animal. you give them the tools, the reading, talk to them like normal people with a stake in society--like, imagine a society that would have a stake in people like you instead of criminalizing you & consigning you to the margins! that's already *political imagination* because anyone who occupies a marginalized position will have their existence politicized, whether they want this or not, so better to become a self-aware, self-reflexive political subject, no?--talk *with* them because tbh i am them, i'm just better at situational masking & also i am very very afraid of cops so i only damage property in groups during planned political actions (not spontaneously, because i feel a flash of rage at my neighborhood gentrifying, & simply do not have a superego, so i tear down the real estate sign for the fancy new apartment complex in a fit of pique, because in this house we believe that spontaneity can & should be developed into class consciousness, again, the seeds of which are there in the initial trigger for the spontaneous reaction, i.e. anger at gentrification. not opposed to a little direct action, but they're just gonna put up a new sign tomorrow, it doesn't advance your agenda or hinder the gentrifiers' progress. now, if

you sabotaged the construction site for the new apartment buildings & painted a few potent symbols + graffiti'd a pithy, written statement expressing your opposition to gentrification generally & these apartments specifically? in a prominent place, large font, eye level, visible & legible from oh, a block away? maybe as a member of a collective, your neighbors, perhaps? & you could sign it "[neighborhood] or [block] residents" to pack more of a punch, the power of a crowd speaking in unison to say "not OUR home, you predatory developers"? that's no longer spontaneous, impulsive, affective violence, & it's also no longer an individual--acting alone leaves you vulnerable. again--i didn't just *intuit* that he tore the sign down because he was mad about gentrification, i asked, in a genuinely curious tone, not at all accusatory, no hint of reprimand or censure, just...interested, "why did you do that?" & he was like "it made me fucking mad." & i was like "what about it made you mad? the apartments? how come?" & he thought about it for a minute & explained. i'm not sure *he* necessarily made the conscious connection until prompted. idk, i know people talk a lot about the fact that breitbart & drudge report are free while NYT & "all the news fit to print" is paywalled, & q-pilled covid hoax sites are free while "reputable" pandemic coverage & public health guidelines & explanations of mRNA vaccines for a lay audience are paywalled & that's true but also We Live In A Society & if you talk to the wingnuts who AREN'T that way because of any far-right ideology, a lot of them are just...autodidacts without much formal education but a lot of raw intelligence that leads to analyzing The Big Picture & trying to deduce a pattern, find a framework that explains why the world is the way it is, profoundly frustrated, deeply aware of American society's, universalized & figured as the world's, exceptional unfairness & cruelty, & *that can be redirected* with reading, discussion, prompting critical thought, introducing community connections, & perhaps most importantly for this genre of person, getting them to see patterns at work in terms of systems & structures rather than individuals, letting go of American individualism's explanatory power & belief in its liberatory potential (see: the sort of ad hoc libertarianism that goes hand-in-glove with much conspiracy thinking, both stemming from 1) mistrusting the government, & 2) ultimate freedom of the individual as the most sacred value, therefore it is what all enemies want to take away), outlining positive, actionable goals rather than just ambient suspicion & anger at authority, & figuring out how those goals can be accomplished more effectively by an organized collective (but this will ultimately benefit the individual). If the world isn't run by a shadowy cabal, if you begin to understand the structures responsible & how they manifest even on the scale of your block (e.g.!!! predatory developers buying up properties during a pandemic, tearing down affordable housing to build expensive condos on the lot, or giving old buildings a "spit and polish" so they can double the rent, pricing all the current residents out, not to mention all the little local businesses, almost all mexican & run by the mexican families who live here, that give our block its culture & will get pushed out by boutique coffee shops & the like, catering to a more affluent & almost certainly whiter clientele)--you can, in fact, change the world, something both of them repeatedly referred to as their purpose on earth. it may not be as a maverick figure, one against an army, but strength in numbers is an aphorism for a reason.

anyway! thse guys were also really weird about jews, in the philosemitic way conspiracy theorists of a certain stripe often are. the itinerant vagabond guy gave me one of his drawings; it's really lovely. i'm going to give them "are prisons obsolete?" & "the wretched of the earth" & some david graeber. 44 yr old guy has this idea that society is atomized & people aren't connected to each other & have lost the willingness or the ability to communicate with each other, also that the overreach of authority has driven some people to violence, & that makes the world feel unsafe to everyone else. he feels guilty because he is acutely aware that language, when wielded adroitly & intentionally, always has the capacity to manipulate; he is afraid of succumbing to the temptation, because he senses the coercive power of language within himself. the other guy was mostly quiet but said 44 yr old guy is one of the best friends he's ever had. he thinks animals are able to sense emotions and to heal, & he thinks they can mediate between people who have become too isolated, who have forgotten humans' innate ability to forge connections, approach others as social creatures seeking to bond instead of mistrustful, apprehensive, rejecting overtures of friendship because they expect subterfuge, or propriety has evolved to deem such overtures inappropriate outside of strictly delineated, artificially orchestrated contexts. deviation from the norm is not permitted. & back again to policing. they have an idea called "the omega family," omega for the end, a group of like-minded people who come together, who encounter each other serendipitously (predicted through auspicious auguries & recognized on sight through a constellation of signs & wonders, because of course we are all psychotic here, it was nice to just be psychotic & discuss these things like they were normal lol), & serve as catalysts to each other's "personal truth." anyway this is why i don't go out when i'm crazy, i always end up in situations like this, see also: the last time i did m*th, in a pizza hut bathroom in tallinn with an art student from glascow named muhammad ali (he went by ali), the son of white muslim converts--we thought it was c*ke but it got lost in translation & that's how i figured out i had adhd. later i got [redacted] by a filmmaker from kazan & he gave me his business card afterward for some reason, which was extremely funny. thankfully these dudes were better behaved. one of them even gave a speech about how men shouldn't rape people??? & also how our society shouldn't construct women as universal victims because in doing so it makes victimhood almost compulsory & shoehorns women into a victim role as part & parcel of womanhood? i was like yes my dude you are almost there, read the essay "abject feminism." (i did not tell them i was trans bc i wasn't sure how that would shake down, to be honest; couldn't get a read on it. did tell them i was gay & they respected it, though one did say he dated a lesbian once, & i explained that many men feel compelled to interject with an anecdote relating an exception to the rule or insist that they will he the exception to the rule, & it's really just bad manners, not even getting into the bad politics. he took it on the chin & talked about how the girl in question came home to find her partner dead of an overdose & his wife had just died of MS, so their relationship was more about grief & comfort than sexual attraction. i was like that's really, really sad, & it's wonderful that you were able to be there for each other at a time of such staggering loss, & i am a person who totally understands what you mean to communicate, but if a lesbian tells you they're a lesbian & you reply that you once dated a lesbian & they get offended & instead of responding with contrition or correction you elaborate on the tragic backstory of the relationship as though that explains the circumstances in which a self-proclaimed lesbian would date a cis man, other lesbians *will* deck you, or at the very least not take you, an unwashed white guy in

his 40s who isn't neurotypical & sits way too close for social convention in a way that could easily be construed as a come-on, in good faith.) tl;dr made some new friends, did some good drügs (i much prefer smoking m*th to snorting it, basically like purer, more potent adderall, & as such will not be doing it again for a LONG time, because i enjoy it FAR too much; slices through the brain fog & the chronic fatigue & the joint/bone pain, makes me able to pay attention, follow the thread of a conversation, actually be *interested* & want to ask *questions* & expand, build, encourage my interlocutor to elaborate, place more kal-toh pieces until the conversation shimmers into a three-dimensional shape, instead of being listless & exhausted & disengaged & *bored* all the time, so obviously i would get addicted immediately if given the opportunity, & i've known this forever lol)--now going to hydrate, refill pill case, write some emails, & meet C at the beach! not how i expected to reboot my brain, but it works! also putting them on limited facebook view because i try to keep some groups of people in my life quarantined from each other & that includes 1) my relatives & my academic ~colleagues (ne'er the twain shall meet), 2) my exes & my family, 3) my relatives, colleagues, & uh. a couple of lovely, but extremely psychotic dudes with very long criminal records i met while doing hard drugs

[radramblog]

Pokemon Legendary Themes Ranked

I saw a video of a youtuber I like doing this tier list so I thought I’d get my own opinions in first so I’m not biased by theirs. This list is a little incomplete- there’s a few things I know are missing, most pointedly side game stuff, but I suppose they can’t win em all. Thus, here are my objectively factual opinions, no nostalgia bias here surely. Here’s a link to the list in case you want to do the same.

(Tiers are sorted in increasing quality right to left)

D Tier

Mewtwo (FRLG): Y’all know Articuno/Zapdos/Moltres also use this, right? It’s just a marginally more dramatic version of the regular wilds music, so it gets the fail from me.

Mew (Emerald): This is the same as the last one! Except it gets the edge because it is slightly higher pitched, and because it’s in a game where it’s not a remix of a song you’ve just heard dozens of times.

Mewtwo (XY): I just really dislike the soundfont XY uses for most of its themes. This sounds like a shitty youtube remix from the late 00s with like 300 views, and most of them are the same person who really likes the song for some reason. Am I just biased against the kanto wilds theme? Maybe.

Regis (Crown Tundra): Narrowly dodges being the worst Regis theme since the Platinum one exists (It’s not on this list though). I think a lot of the more recent versions of older themes suffer since they were designed with the lesser hardware in mind. It is a shame because I do really like some of the additions to the theme.

C Tier

Dynamax Legend (Crown Tundra): Mewtwo is already back for his last appearance on the list. It’s just a remix of the max raid theme, which I don’t really care for- especially after hearing it over and over and over again grinding Lairs for shinies.

Calyrex (Crown Tundra): This song being dramatic makes no sense in universe- the player knows this is the big legendary, but the character sure doesn’t- but it ultimately feels hollow. This is deliberate, since it’s actually just one half of another song.

Steeds (Crown Tundra): h o n s e theme is the other half of that song, and it’s the better half, but its still incomplete.

Aura Trio (X/Y) and Solgaleo/Lunala (S/M): These two get lumped together because I always get them conflated, which signifies to me that neither has made a strong impact. Listening to both again, I think I like the latter more, but it’s narrow.

Regis (ORAS): It’s just not the same without the horns. My gen 6 bias is showing, but I don’t really like the soundfont.

Deoxys (ORAS): similar to the Regis, this is held back by the soundfont (why the fuck is there an organ in this??) but also by the fact that at this point, the Deoxys theme just isn’t special anymore. And that’s kinda sad.

Calyrex 2 (Crown Tundra): The full version of this theme is much better, obviously, sounding suitably regal for the king of the tundra, but it overall lands at a meh. The percussion sounds like it’s trying to rip off the Weather Trio’s, which is a big no-no.

B Tier

Eternatus 1 (SwSh): We are now entering the songs I like zone. Eternatus 1 goes in a lot of different directions, and despite how 13-year-old me would balk at it I actually enjoy the dubsteppy bits of it. Sorry to disappoint you, you edgy fuck.

Ultra Beasts (SMUSUM): I don’t know why these are separated, they’re the same theme. I really like the UB theme, but the thing is it isn’t really a legendary theme- it had to be a bit less bombastic seeing as you can just encounter a bunch of these bad bois. And while it sounds suitably alien, I still think it doesn’t belong on this list.

Weather Trio (ORAS): Why is this listed as this, its just for Rayquaza. Extremely dramatic, but a retread of one of my S-tier picks (spoilers oops) and not different enough for the remaster to make it worth it.

Primals (ORAS): the same as the previous, but I do like this much better, what with the song “reverting” to the original every so often. This should probably be higher, but I don’t want to separate it from the “full” version.

Eternatus 2: It’s kind of a shame how little time you get to hear this, because it’s a big ol “you’re fucked” and that’s pretty great. There are bits of this that sound like they’re sampling Kirby Super Star, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Galar Birds (Crown Tundra): While I know everyone used to adore this one, I think the honeymoon phase is over for me at this point. I still like it, but at the end of the day it’s still a Kanto Wild remix.

Legendary (BWB2W2): This is really good! The way the tempo shifts around the song is a really nice touch, and that build section is excellent. Just a solid overall theme.

Tao Trio (BW): Reshiram and Zekrom’s themes are slightly different, but even Game Freak forgot that one. Kyurem’s is the same but where they have different SFX it just has dead air, which while fitting is a bit less good. I adore the beat this one has running, almost a throbbing bit going on there.  Edit: Ok on relisten I’ve heard Kyurem’s a bit closer, and it’s a little different with some record skips, but they’re pretty unecessary imo.

Zacian/Zamazenta (SwSh): This is one I kinda wish was less dramatic, considering it’s not as oh shit as the situations their other themes have. I kinda hate the opening to this, but the rest of it makes up for it I suppose.

Eternatus 3: Yeah this is a Z/Z theme not an Eternatus theme let’s be real. A suitably triumphant third act to the climax of SwSh’s (lackluster) story. This is kinda just a banger, very much appropriate for the beatdown it accompanies.

Dialga/Palkia (DPPt): Closing the tier with a song that I actually love, but it’s occurred to me that it’s a little odd sitting next to some of these other ones. I mean, it’s mostly built around this very pretty little piano line, which makes it feel less weighty than the competition. It’s a classic, and hasn’t aged poorly or anything, but it’s less of a climax than I would expect. With that in mind, I shudder to think of what would happen to this in a potential remake.

 A Tier

Mysterious Being (SwSh): This is getting carried here by that bass alone. The rest of it is ok I guess.

Arceus (DPPt): Ah, the track no one ever got to hear. I really love how sparse this is, being basically only percussion most of the way through. I think the Arceus event is something we should have actually gotten to experience, I’m pretty sure it would have blown little me’s mind.

Lugia (HGSS): HGSS, the games where every legendary got its own theme. Bring this back please, I’m begging here. I understand the reason this sounds the way it does is because it’s based on the Shadow Lugia theme from XD, but I haven’t played that one, so I can’t comment. I’m sure not complaining, though- considering Lugia’s other main appearance (in the movie, of course) I wasn’t expecting such a menacing theme.

Legendary (DPPt): For a “generic” theme (fucking Rotom gets this btw) this has a lot going for it. The animation that plays when you start a fight with this music is burned into my brain. It’s fast, it’s tense, and it sounds great.

Lake Trio (DPPt): Unlike Mysterious Being, while the bass slays here, it’s not alone carrying the song. This track was always my favourite out of Diamond and Pearl, and those games have a fucking great soundtrack, so.

Black/White Kyurem (B2W2): I really love that this is a remix of the (also very menacing) theme you hear when you boot the game up- you’ve heard a version of this while staring at the fucker, now here’s the real version for when you have to fight it. The references to the regular Tao Trio theme are well placed, but this more bombastic version sounds like Kyurem is here to fucking kill you, which to be fair, it kinda is.

Legendary Beasts (Crystal/HGSS): I’m lumping these together since, although HGSS gave each their own remix, they’re basically the same theme. This was the first Legendary music ever written for the series, and it still holds up really well. As for the HGSS remixes, I don’t think Entei’s slower rockier version works as well, but I really like the punchy percussion on Raikou’s version.

Regis (RSE): Hella bass and Hoenn Horns? What’s not to love? I do think the original version of this theme is by far the best one, being an ample payoff for the puzzle that was getting to it in the first place, and it makes hurling balls at the golem’s much more tolerable. I literally never caught Registeel as a kid so I could go back and listen to this whenever I wanted.

Tapus (SMUSUM): Again, why are these separated. Considering this game has literal aliens in it, the Tapu theme in SM is somehow the most messed up sounding one, but it works extremely well. The surprise vocalisations work really well with the… I’m hesitant to say tribal, but I don’t have another word for that vibe to be honest. It does feel like you’re doing a transgression with this song, which you are (why the fuck are you allowed to catch these things in universe lmao).

Ultra Necrozma (USUM): Probably the most climactic song in the entire franchise, and it makes sense- this isn’t just the climax of those games, but the finisher to the entire 3DS era of the series. The church organs, therefore, are pretty justified. This song sounds like a Big Deal, and the organ getting pretty jazzy when it gets to some of the less intense bits is a really nice little touch. And then the percussion picks up again and oh fuck here we goooooo. A fitting track for arguably one of the hardest fights in the entire franchise.

 S Tier

Dusk Mane/Dawn Wings Necrozma (USUM): Haha oops I like this one more than Ultra. I think it’s just the unstoppable percussion that opens this that does it. I don’t think anyone who went in blind saw this moment in the games coming, and the intensity reflects this- its like a prelude to Ultra but it doesn’t have as much of a low point, with the onslaught of noise fitting the sheer OH FUCK that is seeing everyone’s favourite bag-dodger getting bodyjacked out of nowhere.

Weather Trio (RSE): Anyone who understands my bias is gonna understand this one. It’s almost entirely carried by nostalgia, but I just love this fucking song. Compared to some of the other things on this list, it feels nearly minimalistic, seeing as it’s pretty much just the drums, horns, and that bell, but that’s all it needs. It’s the first song in the series for a proper legendary, and it suits that fact.

Deoxys (FRLG/E): By contrast, the Deoxys theme is pushing that GBA soundfont to its absolute limit. You can hear some of the best of both the FRLG and RSE soundtracks in this song, with the Kanto percussion and the Hoenn horns both doing their part, but whatever instruments the rest of this is going for are absolutely not slouching either. It’s somewhat telling that the best soundtracks for FRLG romhacks (e.g. Clover) sound more like this than like the other themes in the game.

Ho-Oh (HGSS): Oh fuck is that a koto I love kotos. By contrast with Lugia, Ho-oh is a more relaxed track that takes a lot from traditional Japanese instruments, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t dramatic- far from it. The groove in this makes it sound like it comes from another series entirely, being so incredibly different from anything else the series had to offer at that point. That main riff is so fucking perfect, man.

Giratina (Platinum): I remember having my mind blown when I first heard this. Giratina went from the generic DP legendary music (which is obviously still good) to this chaotic energetic power play, and I was sold on Platinum immediately (like everything before XY, Platinum came out in Japan some months before in other countries, so I heard this well before the game dropped). This song has so many different lines, so many different builds, and yet none of them feel out of place. I almost feel like this song is what started me down the path that would lead to me being a prog fan. After the haunting ambience of the Distortion World, this sheer energy is such a shock to the system, and the climax of the song hits harder than any individual moment on any other song in the series. It’s my number 1 pick, and I love it to bits.

 Thus, the full list is as follows. If you end up doing your own, link me up, I’d love to see how wrong you are your opinions.

#ramble #pokemon #music #lists #ill probably do this for other music in these games at some point

[dr-astormylasthurrah]

DR:ASLH AMA (10/21/2020)

so today i decided to sit down and answer a whole bunch of questions on discord!

this DOES contain spoilers up through the end of ch5, just a warning! if you’re on mobile i’m so sorry.

Who is your favorite character?

THAT IS THE MEANEST QUESTION YOU COULD EVER ASK DID YOU KNOW THIS. This varies a lot depending on the day but usually... tied Chiyo/Tatsumaru. I love them both so much. I think Ryouji's my favorite to write, though. If ASLH were someone else's story, I think my favorite would undeniably be Chiyo, because I'm nearly always biased towards protagonists.

What’s been the most enjoyable part of the story process? Why?

Honestly? Getting to see how people react to it. It's the validation luv. Maybe it's selfish, but I really do like seeing how people are affected by my work LOL.

who is on what side of the pineapple on pizza discourse?

Likes it: Amal, Kanemori, Claude, Aster Neutral: Tristan, Tatsumaru, Sentarou Hates it: Ryouji, Chiyo, Ririka, Brendan Doesn't like pizza: Tiana, Hirono, Alexei, Tsukino, Iris Ryouji, Chiyo, and Ririka make fun of Amal.

For the trials of aslh, which trial has been your favorite so far? In terms of planning the case itself, plot beats, character developments, anything really. But which one still makes you lose it when you think about it.

That's a tough one, I don't like writing trials. I liked the structure of ch3, though. The way that the trial stops being "who killed Amal" and instead becomes "who is Aster". The Tatsu POV. The story title drop. And the way the execution just wrecks everything, immediately? Yeah, vibes.

I also feel like ch4's trial deserves a special mention because of how I wrote it while I was sick with the flu, and yet if you ask me that was still probably the most emotionally intense trial- wait I forgot ch2- and ch5- y'know what, forget it. At least it's on par!

If you could change anything about aslh on any level, what would it be & why?

In general, I think it needed more planning. I'm a very on-the-fly planner and writer, but there were a lot of unknowns I didn't consider until late-game that made it hard to bring up and resolve cleanly. It could also probably have used a little bit more clarity with regards to the lore - things like "how does the memory replacement work" weren't decided until super late in the project. I didn't have a backstory for Tatsu until I wrote ch2 or ch3, so before that point their scars were much less extensive and I think they were cut-shaped instead of burns? That was kind of important for at least continuity's sake, and it irks me.

Also, Hirono deserved better. I didn't plan out her arc as extensively as the others (she was, pre-story, the last survivor to be locked and she had traded with Kanemori), so she sort of stagnated in the story. Which wasn't a bad thing, because not everyone's going to get shoved off a balcony or watch their friend get shot, but it kind of sucks that the most "defining" moment she had was that Ririka and Iris died, neither of which she actually witnessed, or the name confession in ch4 trial which kind of got brushed over. Like all the rest of the survivors have Big Defining Moments, except her.

To be honest, ASLH is the first huge writing project I've ever completed, so there's a lot of things I could have done better. But it was also the first huge writing project I've ever completed, so I'm cutting myself some slack there.

What's your philosophy, or even your strategy when it comes to character design? What do you go for first or emphasize, where do you think you could experiment more?

Most of my designs are based around a core "ooh I want to try this thing". Sometimes I take character inspirations, sometimes it's a cool garment, sometimes I'm just redesigning characters. I mostly emphasize clothing, patterns, and colors, but I also reuse a lot of the same clothing styles and patterns. I could definitely experiment more with shape language and silhouette - usually, that's like the last thing I think about, but one of the more important things to have in an ensemble cast. Mostly, though, I just like drawing clothes.

What do you think is the crowning moment of aslh? Like if someone asked you what would be a moment that gets to the heart of the story the most. What would it be?

DEFINITELY the ch5 execution. Like, the emotional resonance? The narration shift? The drama of it all? Peak ASLHcore.

what factored most into your decision-making progress? why did you decide this death order and this mastermind(s)?

My decision making process is entirely me sitting in a fugue state mumbling out details that I need to fix and then sporadically sitting bolt upright and screaming a parallel or tangent I've pieced together.

The mastermind question is easier to put together - I'd always had in mind that this was going to be a revenge game, and that one mastermind was so difficult to take seriously it wasn't even funny and that the other decided to bail halfway through. So I built the characters around that. The points I usually pay attention to with fangan planning (these days) are: ch1 is to establish the status quo and tone of the story, ch3 is to overturn the status quo, and ch5 forces ch6 to happen. So the ch3 case revolved around Sen dying, and then I was like "how can I fuck up the status quo more" and killed Amal and Aster too.

The biggest factor in my decision making process is "what would be really cool". I tend to make a lot of decisions that fuck up the structure of what a fangan "should" be because I think it goes hard as hell when we throw out rules that the characters are unaware of anyway.

was there a draft of aslh that looks drastically different from what we ended up with?

Great question, and fuck you for reminding me!

ASLH actually started as a bullet point fangan called What Tempestuous Despair. It was a much more international cast until I was like "fangans are supposed to be mostly Japanese casts!" and changed a bunch of characters' nationalities, which in hindsight was dumb. Ririka, Kanemori, Tsukino, and Iris were victims of this. Also Amal was the protagonist and I am SO GLAD that didn't stick they are SO DIFFICULT to write the POV from.

I've spoken on a few occasions about how the cast itself changed, and I never got around to plotting out arcs (other than "Amal learns to trust people and allows themself to truly grieve Rin after holding everyone at length for so long"), but some assorted things:

The cast had a bunch of characters who were swapped out. Included in this tally are Rin Matsumoto (whose personality was recycled into Hisaichi, Ryouji's cousin, and their name was recycled into Shuichi's school friend), Leon Mercury Kahahawai (who’s in CYAH), Haywire Asturias, Puck Ganka (who’s also in CYAH), a few characters/designs who I ended up giving away... And also Hayato Kikuchi.

Iris was always a killer, because I really wanted her to have a downfall-that-wasn't-a-downfall-but-rather-a-reflection-of-the-true-self arc. This was always a lategame case so I'd have time to establish her as terrible. Originally, she killed Leon.

Tiana was also always a killer. I think he killed Hayato via electrocution, so as you can tell that's always been around in some form or another.

(Tristan killing Chiyo in ch5 in the current version, btw, was specifically to mirror Tiana's murder. While Tiana killed to get themself out of the KG, Tristan killed to get everyone else out.)

who was considered for mastermind throughout making aslh? what would their reasons have been?

The masterminds have never changed, except that the characters for them didn't exist back in WTD. But the personalities of the characters they replaced were about 1:1 anyway, so yeah basically they've never changed.

what is one thing you really loved about the beta and what is one thing you really hated about the beta

One thing I really loved about the beta was the ch3 case (which I've spoken about at length before), but other than that... honestly Tiana? Tiana's the one character that I had fully developed as of WTD, they just sprung into my head completely materialized. Their entire personality and design somehow stayed the same since conceptualization.

One thing I really hated? I would say "all of it", but specifically, we don't talk about white Tristan. That was so bad. I was trying so hard to design him so that he'd look nonthreatening and I was like "why is this so hard" and then I changed his ethnicity and I was like "oh right, white gamer boy characters just have cursed energies" and moved on with my life.

what would be an ideal day for tiana murdock. what would make them happy.

An ideal day is honestly one where they get a lot done. They're not one to relax or know what to do with free time, but they get a lot of satisfaction out of being productive, so if they manage to finish a lot of work and not end up exhausted? They're happy. They've probably gotta work on learning to enjoy their free time. They do like traveling, though, and- oh my god I should make them friends with Tsukino.

What would the cast's careers be if they lived to be adults?

Chiyo: Elementary school teacher and scifi author! Really wish I'd leaned more into the fact that she loves scifi, honestly. Amal: Journalist, probably, except they'd actually take classes in it this time instead of just writing op-eds constantly Tatsumaru: LIBRARIAN TATSU TRUE ENDING!!! Sentarou: Freelance pianist/composer. I have this whole headverse where he and Alexei are somehow friends with Claude, and together they plot to kill Enji Sekisada. Or Claude and Alexei plot to kill Enji and Sen sits there with his head in his hands. Iris: In universes where she's able to reconcile with academia, she works in ecology + chemistry. In universes where she doesn't, she's a florist. Aster: SERIOUSLY depends on the AU because every time I try to put Aster in a normal AU they're different. Jokes about becoming a flight attendant to travel with Tsukino. Claude: Secretary. No, seriously. May have something to do with killing Enji Sekisada. Hirono: Photojournalist! Photography reminds her of Ekuko. :') Alexei: Veterinary assistant for a specialized bird clinic Tsukino: Pilot, obviously Brendan: Mechanical engineer but sometime around age 30 has enough stress to just quit and become a college professor instead. Tiana: Museum docent, he's coworkers with Laurent Sinclair thanks Ryouji: He's... not sure. In normal AUs does take up food service for a while before getting uncomfortable with his family and quitting. In ASLH canon, he skips this step and goes into law with the intent of helping other killing game survivors sort out their lives. Tristan: Web designer, still makes a few games on the side with his friends. Mostly point and clicks because he ain't about this life Kanemori: Volleyball coach, because he knows a lot more about that than soccer honestly

what part of aslh was the hardest to write?

Deadly life. Always. I can crank the chapters out really fast, but I hate the case part of fangans and they're painful to plan.

For each case, what is your out of universe reason for wanting each person to die when? Like not counting the motives or anything, but why you wanted each person to die then?

- Brendan: He was the OC I had the longest. He had to die. Goodbye you little shit. - Kanemori: He was actually a survivor originally, and Hirono was the ch1 killer for the same "OC longevity" reason but then I realized I don't have anything for Kanemori to do. So... Sorry dude.

- Claude: Y'all ever notice how no one... EVER... puts plot relevant information in ch2s? Anyway. - Tiana: As discussed, they've always been a killer. Putting them as a killer here was a good balance - far enough from ch1 to build up their relationship with Tristan, but also not so far into the story that it conflicts with the general endgame fall-apart-ness.

- Amal, Sentarou, Aster: This case sprung into my head entirely materialized. Like, this was the one that BUILT the story, so it didn't change much. Mostly I just thought it'd be narratively fun to kill off the deuteragonist, the mastermind, AND the ??? in one go. I didn't plan for Chiyal to be a thing so when that became a thing this chapter got better/worse.

- Iris: I always wanted her to be a killer to really expose that "she's not a good person" stuff (she was more of a snake in WTD), but she didn't become a victim until when I was actually writing. She was supposed to have a trial and then I got sick of writing her. Whoops. - Ririka: I had arc ideas for everyone else, and it could have gone either way between Ryouji and Ririka getting that "close to my best friend who is now dead"... in the end it went down to gender balance in survivors. At the time it was Ryouji or Ririka + Kanemori + Tsukino + Tatsumaru, but then once Kanemori got swapped to Hirono just... yeahhh Ririka got stuck in ch4. Sorry. - Alexei: Special shoutout, he was supposed to die in ch4 as just an "oh no this is what happened, how sad" but then it was super narratively unsatisfying and now he's alive.

- Chiyo: For the sake of pain. But like, poignant, meaningful pain. I don't believe in making plot decisions just because they hurt, they've also got to mean something. Considering that a major theme of the story is "death before its time is a complete tragedy", and Chiyo's motifs include death... uh. Yeah... yeah. When it came time to ask myself who'd die in ch5 for this motive, well. I miss Chiyo. - Tristan: Meant to mirror Tiana's killing in ch2, as stated above, had the "selfish kill vs selfless kill" thing. Look if you're going to have a duo in a fangan and don't get to make cool dichotomy/theming what's the POINT. Ended up surviving because when there were only four survivors, there were... really no stakes for the ch6 trial.

- Tatsumaru: I just wanted them to be alive. I didn't know WHY, exactly... I just knew I needed them to live. So. I guess they're alive? Also I thought it'd be really interesting to have a killer protagonist, and a remorseful killer protagonist. - Ryouji: To be honest I didn't have a solid arc for him, aside from Ririka's death I'd decided I was going to figure it out as I went. And I guess I did? I love him. And not gonna lie, since Tatsu became the protagonist and Ryouji's still pissed at them, the perspective/dynamic became VERY INTERESTING. - Tsukino: Originally in beta!ASLH, her schtick was "gilded exterior with a heart of jerk with a hidden, smaller heart of gold" but that didn't transfer over to ASLH itself. Then when I realized "oh shit Tsukino wants to be a hero" it was all over. At first her arc was very "tone yourself down and stop rushing into things" which wasn't... ideal, I think you can still be enthusiastic and upbeat while being mindful and that was not how I had gone about it lol. Fun fact, Tsukino's survived every draft of ASLH, including the beta one - I think she and Amal were closer friends in that. - Hirono: See Kanemori, I just thought she had more survivor potential than him. The problem was that by the time I made the decision to swap them, everyone else was sort of locked by necessity, so Hirono became a survivor by default. Again, I didn't quite have an idea of what she was going to do other than get leeched off of by Iris. Ririka wasn't even part of it, we just had that cooking thing in 2-3 and Ririka was like "this is my problem now" and I was like "what?" so now we're here.

What's everyone's coffee/tea/other preferences?

Coffee: Tiana, Tristan, Brendan Tea: RYOUJI, Tatsumaru, Chiyo, Iris Hot chocolate: Claude, Sentarou Soda: Amal, Ririka Soda but only fruit flavored: Tsukino Water, thanks: Aster, Kanemori, Hirono, Alexei

What was the hardest decision to make, writing wise, for aslh? Like you wanted the story to go one way, but you couldn't force it, or a scene you felt you needed but was difficult to decide upon, anything like that?

Hm... okay see the thing is I'm generally pretty good at writing on the fly so if I make decisions I CAN force them to happen, so there's really not too much that comes to mind. Mostly this happens with trials - I make outlines for my trials and drag my cast along with it. Except they tend to go off-topic, and then I have to drag them back on topic. And sometimes the points don't make sense when you go out of order so I have to ad lib stuff. Ch4 trial was the most off-script one, it was supposed to be a lot slower and made more sense but then the cast just went out of order and I was bonking my head against the wall trying to get it to make sense.

The only real thing I had consistent difficulty with is locations. I did not fucking plan any of this shit and hate making maps so much- oh my god I need to do the ch6 map still.

who would deliberately salt their coffee and who would accidentally do it

Deliberately: Tristan, Tiana, Tsukino, Hirono Accidentally: Kanemori, Amal, Sentarou, Chiyo, Brendan, Iris "Why?": Claude, Alexei, Aster, Tatsumaru, Ryouji, Ririka

#aslh #ask and you shall receive #trivia #crow caws

[argyleandjonathansmokingajoint]

My Boy Keeps Me Strong

Pairing: Byeler/Byler

Words: 4k (a little more but close enough)

Summary: Will and Mike have been through more than they ever should've together, but nothing feels as scary as coming out to their best friends does. Then, when it all goes south, they're left to pick up the pieces of each other again. But all their years of friendship can't just really be over like that, can it?

Warning: Uh, slurs, homophobia, and cussing.. The homophobia is sorta resolved though?

Author’s Note: This just came together through my venting, basically. So, I hope you enjoy! I just love them so much. (Btw, in a perfect world, none of the party members would be homophobic and I usually like to headcanon them as such, but I'm very gay and I was just feeling some type of way, sorry..) Happy ending though, I swear! You can find it on my AO3 here.

“Hey guys, guys! Um, so We had something we wanted to tell you.” The party were currently all splayed out around the Basement in the Wheeler residence, as per usual. Mike’s comment had drawn their attention though, so everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to face the taller teen and Will, whom they assumed he must also be talking about, since he was standing beside him.

“Okay, Mike! It looks like you boys have the floor!” Dustin yelled, earning some light jeering and laughs from the teens.

Will could feel his palms growing sweaty. He was more nervous to do this than he’d ever been to do anything probably. Mike looked over at him, knocking into his arm and smiling to reassure him, although his own nerves were no better.

El, seeming to sense the emotions from the two boys, brought silence to the room so that they could continue, and so, continue they did.

“Uh, yeah so anyway, gonna try to keep this kinda short, I guess.” Mike’s voice wavered and there were a few laughs around the room, but nothing else, so he continued. “So, where to start?” He looked at Will, and the boy gave an encouraging smile, so Mike took a breath and just went for it. “We’re gay and we’re dating!” It came out in a rush, and for a second, he wasn’t even sure if he had said it at all, but then after a couple of beats of silence, silence he would come to wish he could have back, all hell suddenly broke loose.

“What!” Lucas jumped up from his chair and Max was off of the floor beside him, not a second later, grabbing his arm, as if she thought he might hit one of them. Honestly, Mike was kind of thinking the same thing.

“Wait, since when?!” Dustin looked more than a little freaked that two of his best friends suddenly happened to be homos.

“I don’t understand. Is this bad?” This one little question from El gave them a brief glimmer of hope amongst all of the shit that was starting to pile onto them right now.

“I-I” Will couldn’t even seem to form any words, but it didn’t matter to the group because apparently, Lucas had plenty to say, or more specifically, just one thing to say.

“No, I-I just can’t, okay? Jesus, I can’t even look at you!” And that was that from them because then they were storming out and dragging El away as she looked back with confusion in her eyes.

Well, they were kind of confused too, to tell the truth. Their best friends since childhood had just had one of the worst possible reactions imaginable to their coming out, and the worst thing of all? Neither of them had even imagined this scenario taking place at all. They were so sure, so confident in their friends’ love, loyalty, and bond that they hadn’t even questioned it. Well, that had royally screwed them this time, hadn’t it?

“I-I just stood there. I can’t believe I just stood there.” Mike was looking at the floor, his face in complete shock.

“I was no better, Mike. I couldn’t even make a case for us.” He registered the words as he said them. He shouldn’t have to make any case, right? What were they doing, feeling guilty? Will looked down at his hands and realized that he was shaking. He eyes then landed on Mike to see that he, on the other hand, looked almost numb from the experience they had just gone through. Will placed his hands around him and delicately wrapped his arms around him, waiting for Mike to lean into it. Mike’s head immediately curled into Will’s neck and his cheek landed on his shoulder. Even though he was a tall guy, Mike loved his comfort positions and Will secretly loved him all the more for it. It hurt to see him like this though. Will just wanted everything to be okay. He wanted their friends back, and he almost wished they could take back their most well-guarded secret. But looking at Mike, he thought, almost, but not quite, with a warm feeling in his heart.

“Those fucking bastards! I mean, honestly, screw those guys! Ya know, baby? who needs ‘em anyway, huh?” Mike huffed out a ragged breath and looked behind him as if the party members would still be standing there. “Bunch of lousy “so called” friends.” As he said it, he put in air quotes and the disgust was clear, then his shoulders slumped and he wrapped his arms around the shorter boy in front of him and pressed his forehead into Will’s own, closing his eyes tightly. This conversation had been going on for awhile now. Maybe around three hours already. But Mike was fired up and Will was exhausted, and they were both feeling extremely let down about the whole thing, not to mention just hurt and betrayed by the rest of the Party.

“Hey, hey now. You don’t mean that.” The voice in which Will used was gentle, trying to soothe the aching pain his boyfriend was feeling, even as his own heart still smarted from the rejection of their friends. Were they still friends? They’d been through something akin to hell and back together. Was this really the driving force that was going to rip them apart?

“Will, I really, really fucking do. Those assholes! I’m through with the whole lot of ‘em! They think they can just go around and say anything and it won’t matter? Well, it f-fucking matters to me, damnit!” Mike’s entire body was shaking, even his hands were trembling, and he was breathing heavily from his outburst. After catching his breath and seeming to compose himself a bit, he spoke up again. “Doesn’t it mean anything to you?” His voice was much quieter now, almost a whisper even.

“Of course, it does! Of course.”

“Yeah, yeah. Alright.” His boyfriend started nodding and then grabbed him by the hips, pulling him closer. Will held his hands that were gripping him and linked their fingers together, giving him a smile. This must be a good sign. Everything was going to be okay. Then Mike began to speak again. “L-let’s just go somewhere together. Somewhere far, far away from here.”

Will’s look turned to one of confusion. “What? Where?”

“I don’t know! As fucking, far away as we can stand! Let’s just go, please, please, Will.” The anger and hurt were clear in both his voice and face, but more than that, there was that deep-rooted fear they both shared. He was scared, probably more than he had been when they’d faced the demogorgan, or the mind flayer, or the flayed. Any of the upside down’s tricks, but homophobia had that beat by a thousand miles or more. Will could understand, now knowing why Mike was acting the way he was. It made sense. But even though he got it, Mike was what made Will strong, so even though, yeah Will was scared, he’d face just about anything if he had Mike by his side, whether that be interdimensional, portal hopping demon or your everyday, old-fashioned homophobia.

“Mike, sweetie.” The tone he used carried a slight pleading tone to it. “I know you’re hurt, and I get it. Like I actually do, more than I did earlier. I know it’s scary when you’re like… us, but I’m not scared. Do you know why?”

Mike’s head was facing downward, his shoulders shaking slightly. Will could see a teardrop fall from the corner of his nose and he brushed it away. Mike shook his head, a sign for Will to continue talking. “Because I’m never scared when I’m with you. Not really. You give me the strength to be brave, and if you really wanna leave all this? If you just want to pack up and go, leave everyone behind? Our families, friends, everything we’ve ever known… I’ll go.” Mike’s head lifted when Will said this, the shock in his face clear. His tear stained face was blotchy and red, and Will couldn’t help but smile softly at his boyfriend, reaching his hand up and cupping his face. “I won’t lie, I might be scared. But I’ll go, and I know we’ll be okay because, at least we’ll be together.”

A breath left Mike’s chest in a whoosh when he heard Will’s heartfelt confession. It might as well have been a love poem and a dozen roses for the way it made his heart feel. “You stupid, I love you so much!” Mike dragged him into a hug, and if it weren’t for the loud sobs wracking his body, Will wouldn’t know he was crying at all.

“I love you too, you big baby.”

_____

Will was a little drunk and more than a lot pissed when he found out the party members were hanging out down by the quarry without Mike and him, so maybe he decided to do something a little bit stupid and a whole lot brave about it. He was going to go out there and confront those dicks and tell them just exactly how much it pissed him off.

But, safety first! A drunk person should never operate an automated vehicle. Or, something like that. No, Will forgoes his brother’s hand-me-down car and grabs up his bike that’s a couple sizes too small by now and hops on, pedaling down to the quarry as fast and as steady as his drunk legs will carry him. The bike’s still in pretty good condition since he uses it sometimes to go riding with Mike or the rest of the party. Well, they used to. The memory stings, urging Will on faster and he ignores his aching legs in favor of pedaling harder.

When he finally reaches the quarry’s edge, he sees them all out there, laughing and having a good ‘ol time. It makes him so angry that he throws down his bike as he gracelessly gets off. He might’ve regretted that if he were sober, but as it stands, he couldn’t care less. Will stumbles down to where the party are sitting, and they look up as they hear someone approaching.

“Will?” El is the first to say anything. She sounds surprised but pleased to see him. Will doesn’t even care anymore. He’s through giving chances, playing at Mr. nice guy.

“What are you doing here? Where’s Mike?” It’s Dustin this time. He doesn’t sound too off put, but not too thrilled either. Yeah, Will’s not surprised with the show he put on the last time they saw each other at Mike’s.

Will scoffs. “Do you really care? Let me guess. You wanna make sure he’s not in the bushes, with like b-binoculars or something, creeping on you? Huh? Is that i-it?” He lets out a noise that is supposed to be a sound of disbelief, but really just sounds like a poorly done fart sound.

“Uh, are you drunk?” Max looks worried, after all the time is only around four or five in the afternoon, so her worry isn’t for nothing. However, Will doesn’t even register her, too lost in his own emotions and drunkenness to even hear the sound of her voice.

“You know what, fuck you guys! Okay, Mike was right. You don’t even deserve to have us as friends. W-we put so much trust in you that we actually, stupidly thought you might- I don’t know, not care who we love, or who we sleep with!!” Will’s voice cracked over the last bit and he could feel the sting of hot tears in his eyes, but he tried his best to hold them in. He couldn’t, wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing him break down. “You bastards think it’s easy?! I’m a walking fucking poster for the Aids epidemic! Damnit, you have no idea, none, what mike and I go through every day. Even if I wasn’t gay, I run the risk of being killed or beaten in an alley because I “look too fucking queer”, and that’s something someone told me once before he punched me in the face, so take your sorry excuses or non-excuses for why you can’t be friends with the two fags and shove it.” If he wasn’t crying before then he definitely was now. Great, heaving sobs suddenly filled his chest and he collapsed in on himself. He wanted Mike. They didn’t get it, no one did, only Mike. Mike was the only one that ever did. Will was genuinely weeping, huge gasps leaving his body and an onslaught of new sobs taking over. It felt as if he were mourning some great loss and, in some way, he was.

He looked up at the sudden feeling of arms surrounding him, and for a moment he thought that maybe he’d imagined the whole thing and he was actually with Mike right now or just dreaming. But when he looked up, it wasn’t into the smiling face of Mike, it was into the concerned faces of El and Max, with Dustin sitting in front of him, looking equally as concerned. Lucas was a bit further away, but still near and all of them wore matching expressions of shame and guilt of varying degrees.

Dustin’s voice startled Will out of his thoughts. “I-I’m sorry, Will. We shouldn’t have treated you like that. I mean, I don’t really get it, I guess, but that’s no reason for me to treat you differently. Besides, you’ve always fought so hard for me, for all of us, and I know you always will. So, I’ll do the same for you. I love you, buddy.”

“But, even though we’re gay?” Will’s not sure what the question is, but the others seem to understand well enough and rush ahead to reassure him.

“Hell yeah, I mean it. I’m like, all in now!” Dustin smiles a big, goofy grin, that almost makes Will want to smile himself.

“Yeah, dude! Besides, I’m from California. I mean, this kind of thing is nothing new around there, so I’ve seen it plenty.” Max places a comforting hand on his back and this time, Will does smile.

“Really?” Dustin actually sounds a little interested, but Will can’t tell if it’s real or for his benefit. Either way, it’s appreciated.

“Wow, so you’ve seen people like Mike and me lots?” Will can’t help himself. He’s never been able to share this side of himself or ask questions with anyone else but Mike, so this is a pretty nice feeling.

“Oh sure! Tons! They’re just normal people after all, but some you can just- tell. It’s really cool though, actually. There’s a lot in, like San Francisco, I heard my dad say once, and even New York has a lot. I guess because it’s such a big city and nobody cares what anybody else is doing, I don’t know.”

Will’s cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling. “Woah, you actually know a surprising amount.”

“Yeah, you pick up some things living in the big city.” Max just grins back at him and pats his back.

“Will?” El speaks for the first time since he first arrived at the quarry. He nods to let her know that he’s listening. “I’m happy that you’re happy again, but I don’t understand why you and Mike were sad? Is gay good or is gay bad? I don’t know.”

Will lets out a small sigh. He really doesn’t know how he feels about having this conversation with El in front of everyone. Or at all. Everyone said they were okay with it now, well, everyone except Lucas, who hasn’t even spoken yet. He might as well get it over with, though. It’s what he came out here for, after all.

“Well, it depends on who you talk to, really. Some people hate it, hate everything about it. But there are some people that just think it shouldn’t matter if you’re a boy and love a boy or a girl and love a girl or even whatever else there might be out there. They say that love is just love and that’s that. Well, that’s what I think. Mike, too. Um, so yeah.” He looked down after finishing, feeling suddenly bashful. Maybe the alcohol was wearing off.

“El, it doesn’t matter who you choose to love. It’s just love, and that’s a beautiful thing. You know that, right?” Everyone looked over to the one that had spoken. There, staring back was Lucas. It was the first time he had spoken since Will had arrived at the quarry and everyone was more than a little shocked by the words coming out of his mouth. The other party members, excluding Mike and Will, had personally heard Lucas go on more than one rant about having queers in the group for so long and not even knowing about it. Now he was speaking again though. “I mean, isn’t that true, El?” Her nod was enough of an answer for Lucas to continue.

“I’m sorry, Will. Everything you said today just made me think and… I was a real asshole. I love you no matter what.”

Will looked at him for a long moment, as if considering, then shook his head wryly. “I-I love you too, but you guys should really be apologizing to Mike.”

Lucas nodded firmly in agreement, his aura radiating determination. “Yeah. Let’s do it.”

_____

The soft melodic voices of the band, Chicago were playing in the background, softly droning on. Just say you’ll love me for the rest of your life. I gotta lot of love and I don’t want to let go. Huh. It was just Mike’s luck that the radio would be playing something that only made him think more about his problems, instead of taking his mind off of them. That’s how it usually went, wasn’t it? He was still so scared and hurt by how everything had happened with the party the other day, but more than that, he was worried he’d overstepped things with Will. Maybe he’d gone too far, said too much, and now he’d ruined everything. As the next song popped on, one he didn’t recognize, he heard feet coming down the stairs.

A lot of feet come to think of it, and he hadn’t actually heard that sound in over a week. Mike turned his head towards the sound, where one by one his boyfriend and each of his friends, or ex friends, he wasn’t exactly sure, came around the corner and stopped a few feet away from him.

He blinked a couple of times and then looked at Will, as if to say, um what’s going on here, and then that’s precisely what he did say. “Will, what’s going on? What are they doing here?” He couldn’t keep the bitter edge out of his voice, even as it was clouded by confusion.

“Uh, well they wanted to talk to you.” He could see that Mike was about to interject, and it didn’t look like he had anything nice to say so Will quickly continued before he could put in any words of his own. “Hold on, before you say anything. I already talked to them, okay? And I know this doesn’t fix everything-”

“You’re damn right, it doesn’t!” Mike was on his feet now, looking almost ready for a fight. “I don’t care what you guys think, okay-”

“Sweetie, don’t-”

“No, Will! Are you forgetting what those assholes said to us?! How they treated us?” At this, Will looked down at the floor. He hadn’t forgotten, of course. And sure, it still hurt. But he knew that they meant it when they said they were sorry. “Cause I-I haven’t forgotten.”

“You’re right.” Everyone turned their heads to Will in surprise. “What they said hurt and I can’t just forget that kind of pain, but Mike, look at me.” He walked over to his boyfriend and tipped his chin so it was facing his own face. “They apologized to me, and they meant it. I know they did. So, just give them the chance to do the same to you before you make your choice. Please?” A small smile painted his lips when he saw Mike nod his assent.

The taller teen turned his attention to the rest of the party, who had been looking on in fascination and awe as they watched Will coax Mike into talking with them. Now they seemed to straighten up at having his attention on them.

“Well, talk then.” Mike growled out, clearly impatient and in no mood to be doing this at all.

It struck Max that he was only doing it for Will in the first place, and what a wonderful thing their relationship must actually be. To show that much restraint, clearly uncomfortable and looking ready to crawl out of his own skin. But he stayed, for Will. He didn’t turn them away, for Will. She caught Mike’s eyes and noticed the way his gaze shifted quickly away from hers. Max shook herself out of all of her other thoughts. All she really wanted to do was let him know that she didn’t see him any differently.

“I’m sorry, Mike. I should’ve said something when you guys told us, but I was scared and I thou- well, yeah. I guess, I was just too scared.” Mike kept quiet and looked off to the side. It might seem to ruse to someone else, but Max saw it for what it was. The boy was afraid. She noticed he was clutching Will’s hand, tightly, so she just continued speaking, her tone earnest and soft. “I want you to know that I don’t think of you guys differently, at all.” Mike’s head jerked up to hers at this. “It’s like I told Will, growing up in California, you see gay people all the time. I’m used to all kinds of different people there- I mean, n-not that you guys are different! It’s just not something that everybody l-likes, I guess. I mean- sorry.” She trailed off in a whisper, sighing. Somehow, she had the feeling like she had made things worse, but when she looked at Mike’s face it didn’t look like she had. He had that same wide-eyed look on his face that Will had when she had told him about California and New York.

El patted Max’s arm like she was trying to make her feel better, before she looked at Will and Mike. “Will told me about gay and what it means, so now I know. I’m sorry I didn’t before, Mike. I don’t understand why we dated if you don’t like girls, but you can tell me when you’re ready, okay?”

Mike’s face paled and the group could see Will squeeze his palm. Then Mike said, in a barely there voice, “O-okay.”

El nodded and smiled. “Okay. I’m always here for both of you. Promise.” Everyone felt themselves relax a little when Mike gave her a small grin.

Surprisingly, Lucas was the next to speak up. “Mike. I’ll just get right to it. I know I said some shit things.” Mike let out a snort, but otherwise kept silent, allowing the other teen to continue. “I was a total ass, okay?! And, and I’m just so sorry, man!” Mike was shocked, not by the words, but because Lucas was crying. It’s not that he’d never seen him cry, but it must’ve been a few years at least.

“W-wait, you’re serious right now? This isn’t a joke, right?” Mike was wary, but hopeful. He stepped up to his friend, who suddenly rushed him, pulling him into a massive hug which nobody expected.

“You should love whoever you love, I know that! That’s your right. And you and Will are two of my best friends! Fuck, why would I ever try to stop you from being together? What kind of dick am I?!” Mike didn’t know what to say, so he just did his best to comfort Lucas, rubbing his back and telling him it was alright, everything was fine, but Lucas insisted that everything was not fine, he was actually a giant tool that shouldn’t even be forgiven.

That actually got Mike a laugh out of Mike and it was like the dams breaking open. Then Dustin was running over to them with tears in his eyes, pulling Will in and creating a group hug between the four boys, which Lucas complained about, still grinning ear to ear with his own tear stained face.

“This is Mine and Mike’s moment, Dustin!” Lucas tried shoving the curly haired boy off, playfully.

Dustin just pushed back, ignoring him completely. “But I’m sorry, too! God, can we all just agree that everyone here are assholes except for Will and Mike? And maybe Jane, because there’s a lot she still doesn’t know?”

“Oh, okay actually, yes. I can totally get with that.” Lucas chances a look at his two friends, grinning when he sees that they’re both actually smiling.

“Hey, you two get in here!” And then Mike’s pulling Max into the Hug, and Max is grabbing onto El to drag her into the lovefest and they’re all just hugging. They’ll deny the tears until years later.

_____

Later, when everyone else has gone home and it’s just Mike and Will, they will listen to much happier songs on the radio and talk and Will will mention to Mike that one day, when they do decide to move away, because they will, they should maybe think about New York or California. He hears San Francisco is nice. Mike will whole-heartedly agree. Besides, as long as he’s got his boy by his side, they’ll be alright.

#byeler #byler #stranger things #will and mike #mike and will #my fics #st fic #byeler fic #my stuff #hi just me venting through characters nbd #this is probably the longest fic i've ever written #i hope you like it!

[iamanartichoke]

This is neither eloquent nor organized. I’m very frustrated and I just need to get things off my chest. 

Please do not reblog this post. 

Cut for anti-Ragnarok discourse, pro-Ragnarok discourse, the Ragnarok discourse war, mention of Thorki, and general venting. 

I’m not using tags bc I don’t want this post to show up in them. Very sorry and if any of these things is one of your blacklists, please keep scrolling.

Yesterday, I read a fic.

I was wandering through some of the Thorki content on twitter, and followed a link to one of the big bang fics, bc it was a human AU and das my jam.

I didn’t recognize the author’s name. The fic was extremely well-written, though: lots of feels, beautiful narration, a sweet ending balanced with a lot of sadness. It was one of those fics that gave me a lump in my throat.

I was only going to leave kudos, but then I figured I’d take the extra five seconds and leave a comment, bc we all know how much authors like comments. I mean, I’d rather someone leave a comment than kudos, especially if the fic really affected them.I get it and I gotchu, fam. 

Anyway, so I left a comment and proceeded to click on the author’s profile to see what else they’ve written. As you do.

I recognized their AO3 icon, even though I didn’t recognize the name. I’d seen them around on some Ragnarok wank on tumblr. I went to double-check, and it was the same user, and also they’d blocked me.

I do not know this person. I have never spoken to this person. Yet they’ve gone out of their way to block me, most likely bc I associate with the anti-Ragnarok crowd. This happens to me a lot. I’ve even had a couple of former mutuals unfollow and block me (without saying anything to me) and those felt like punches to the gut.

I understand not wanting to see content that you don’t like or that upsets you. Everyone has the right to block whomever they wish. But I can’t deny that getting blocked like that – by someone I don’t know, let alone interact with – fucking hurts. I know it’s not that deep but I can admit it. It’s a shitty feeling and it’s hard not to take it personally.

It’s not really about this particular person at all, although it’s a shame bc they’re a good writer I probably would have followed otherwise. But this entire anti/pro Ragnarok war has gone so far and it’s exhausting. I stayed pretty neutral for as long as I could. 

And here’s the thing. My observations, both from being neutral and also being someone who, despite often being quietly blocked, tends to fly under the radar are this:

The majority of the negativity comes from the pro side.

Look, I side with and agree with the anti side on this one. I can admit, however, that sometimes it gets tiresome to see posts get turned into Ragnarok criticism or tiresome to see more posts on my dash about this that or another thing that sucks about Ragnarok and why. It, like anything, can be tiring.

But I also see that the anti side largely does its best to keep to itself. The pro side complained about the Ragnarok tags, so the anti side made an anti tag, and the pros still come into it to complain. The anti side will post their discussions and criticisms and they largely just circulate within the same group of people. The discussions are almost always criticisms on the source material (ie, the film) and not about anyone who enjoys it.

Now, maybe I don’t see everything. Though I don’t think I’m biased just bc I agree with the anti side – in fact, it was these attributes that made me take a closer look at what they were saying bc maybe they had a point after all. I don’t follow every anti Ragnarok user, but I do follow a lot. I can’t say personal attacks and whatever never happen - but, I hardly ever see them.

That’s not the case with the pro side. I don’t think I follow many from that side, but I see so much negativity from them. It’s like this kind of underhanded negativity that I’m not quite sure how to explain. It’s tonal negativity. 

I mean, sometimes it’s blatant. Name-calling (Loki stans, lackeys, pathetic, delusional, and racist come to mind) is an example. But more than that, there’s this collective tone among the pro side that smacks of condescension and I can’t stand it.

They make fun of the “dissertations” that have been written.

They always include an “lol” or laugh emoji or something to express that they’re not the ones taking this seriously.

They fall back on saying they don’t care about a two-year-old movie.

They’re laughing and making fun and at the same time acting like they’re so above it all.

They want us to just shut up already.

What it comes down to is this: it’s not just a matter of being able to agree to disagree because the pro side actively acts offended that the antis are even having these critical discussions, even if the antis have gone out of their way to not involve the rest of the fandom at all.

(Again, this is not every pro person, but the majority. Tone does matter online, and the overall tone of the pro side is not positive. I say this from a mostly neutral place.)

And here’s a thing about “oh my god, it came out two years ago, get over it!” Yeah, it came out two years ago. So fucking what? You guys are still engaging with it, via fics and headcanons and art. How old the movie is doesn’t matter when you’re having fun with it, but when someone wants to engage with it in a (valid) critical way that you don’t like? No. That’s unacceptable. That’s pathetic. That’s being a lackey. Get over it.

Even writing this, I know that things are much worse for others than they are for me. I get stealth blocked; others are called out by name in public posts, receive anon hate, and are actively targeted.

It’s just, this shit is so fucking toxic to this fandom and it honestly needs to stop. Both sides need to not only stop engaging one another, but also stop acknowledging one another. We get it: you either like the movie or you don’t.

Let people do their own thing. Don’t be fucking obnoxious. If you disagree and genuinely want to talk about it, then try to remember there’s a person on the other side of the screen and be civil. If you disagree and don’t want to talk about it, then just fucking don’t.

If you see a post you disagree with, scroll past. And, yes, block the person if you need to (and sometimes it might be me that needs blocking and I recognize my hurt feelings are my own personal problem, not whoever else’s).

There are a lot of movies in the MCU that are not perfect. (Btw, it baffles me a little to get hated on for my stance on Ragnarok, when I am so much more vocal [and emotionally invested] in hating the Russos and IW/Endgame – but, whatever.) There are a lot of interpretations of characters that are different. There are a lot of people who project their own identity or issues or whatever onto any particular character that resonates (and that’s okay!) and there are a lot of people who don’t project but still identify with a particular character (and that’s okay, too).

Stop judging whether someone is a “real” fan of a character/franchise or not. Just because someone isn’t engaging with the source material in the way you are, and just because they don’t see it in the same way that you do, does not make them wrong. (Yes, this applies to the pro side, too. None of them are wrong or less valid for enjoying and even stanning the movie.) It doesn’t make anyone better than anyone else here. 

Acting otherwise is honestly going to kill this fandom. Because it bleeds over. Fics will have less readers, bc they don’t want to interact with something posted by someone they dislike (or who blocked them). There’s less sharing of things like art and headcanons and content. People unfollow and block each other, people are having to watch what they say, people are losing friends (and potential friends) bc they may be a great person but they don’t agree with you about fucking Ragnarok.

I came to tumblr bc it was the only place where not only could I find other people who loved Loki as much as I did, but it was the only place where I could express that. Express it in fic, in headcanons, in meta. Being creative and starting dialogues and just interacting. I wish we could get that vibe back.

I wish none of this bothered me so much.

#again #please do not reblog this #i wanted to get this off my chest #i don't want this post to start any fucking wank #please excuse my lack of tags #i am sorry #heed the trigger warning at the top

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

Shanie’s Dream Fic: A Masterpost

The following is a Masterpost of all my various finished, started, and sketched out dream stories. They are listed here as the dreams originally were, not as the stories the dreams became. Listings are by Saga/Series, Story Title, and Month/Year of original dream. Also listed are the fandoms of the dreams and any specific warnings the fics might carry. For the record, this isn’t a post really for anyone on here. It’s mostly for my own records. I do have a copy on my cloud storage but I’m putting it here as well on the off chance anyone is curious. BTW: I’m putting this here so that I don’t have to list it every time. As far as the WWE dreams go. Absolutely NONE of them are Kayfabe compliant. That’s the problem with not watching the shows regularly. I don’t dream about the TV side of it often. The Zowens dream is close though. It’s sort of a hybrid. The rest? Well, all of them are some level of NKC, but some are not only non-kayfabe, they are straight up AU.  BTW2: In every single one of these stories involving me I am some manner of queer. I’m pretty sure in all but maybe one or two. I’m either wlw, ace, or both. NOT ONE of the first person dreams contains romance between me and another character. The best you get is a single platonic fake-relationship story. (That one did have a smut scene in it but it isn’t romantic.)

Anyway, list behind the cut!

ADVENTURES IN DREAMLAND Master Post

SAGA   A Family Beyond Blood

Part 1 Darkness Fallen (August 2019) I find myself trapped in a world where I died as a child. Now as a spirit I must find a way to restore the universe to it’s proper order. (Somehow my young death caused the entire universe to splinter) *McMahon Family and MCU Dream* Part 2 Death and Life on Planet Earth (August 2019)

Having saved the universe but not ourselves, I vow to do whatever it takes to return Shane to his rightful place with his family. *McMahon Family and MCU Dream*

Part 3 A World Restored to Fall (August 2019)

The universe has been reset again, and I have been returned to my proper timeline. Or have I? There’re odd happenings in a local bookshop and it’s up to me to figure out how to stop them *Original Dream Featuring IRL People*

Part 4 World War Winter (August 2019)

Nuclear Holocaust has occurred. The world is at war with the machines. As a soldier in the CAMP forces, I must leave everything I know behind and face down the android army. But, maybe there’s a familiar face or two in CAMP after all... *McMahon Family Dream* *VIOLENT*

Part 5 Of Queens and Kingdoms (August 2019)

The world is reset. AGAIN. This time, it’s me, Shane and Marissa in a new land where the middle ages and modern times are happening simultaneously and women are the dominant gender. And, somehow, I’m the bloody queen. *McMahon Family and WWE Universe Dream*

Part 6 Titans Reign (August 2019)

Having ascended to the throne and filling the royal court with WWE superstars, I must now find a way to rule over a land I barely know. Meanwhile, a sinister plot is brewing to put the patriarchy back in power. *McMahon Family and WWE Universe Dream*

SAGA That’s What Friends Are For

Part 1 Death of a Fangirl (and Birth of a Friend) (October 2019) [Only Published Story on List]

I find myself being given the chance to meet Shane. Unfortunately, my mental illness turns the dream into a nightmare and my life unravels. But don’t worry. Shane will save the day. He always does. *Shane O Mac Dream*

Part 2 With A Song In Her Heart (October 2019)

Shane has been ignoring my texts, so I hunt him down. My search finds me at a pride festival where a spontaneous song catches his attention a little too well. *Shane O Mac Dream*

Part 3 One Last Birthday to Celebrate (November 2019)

It’s Christmastime in Squirrel Hill. For some dumb reason, Shane McMahon has decided to visit me the day before his birthday. Naturally I surprise him with a present. The other surprise (getting caught in a domestic dispute) is far less pleasant. *Shane O Mac Dream* *VIOLENT*

Part 4 The Pink Rose (Not a Dream)

I survived the shooting. Waking up in a hospital, I find my mother and a room full of flowers from the WWE Superstars. But one flower, a lone pink rose, is unlabeled. Wanna take a wild guess who sent that one? *WWE Universe Story NOT Based on A Dream*

Part 5 Dreams and Demons (December 2019)

So, it seems that watching your friend nearly die in a hail of bullets isn’t the best for your mental health. At WrestleMania 37, Shane is presented with a choice. Me, or TV. Of course he chooses me, this is my dream, what other choice   would there be? *WWE Universe Dream*

[Are you starting to see why I never publish any of these. They are painfully bad self inserts and woefully self-indulgent. But they are also therapy, hence the writing]

SERIES   Trippy Shorts

Story 1 A Little Fall of Acid Rain (August 2019)

The world is ending – but only in NYC. I’m there. So are the McMahons. Destruction and danger abound. *McMahon Family Dream*

Story 2 I Know Who I Am (September 2019)

All of my favorites from TV, movies, music, and wrestling are turning up murdered. Each time, a cryptic message is left behind, written in blood. Can I figure out the connection before everyone I like is killed? *General Pop Culture Dream* *EXTREMELY VIOLENT AND DISTURBING*

Story 3 Fixed Points and Fixed Pairings [An Unfinished Symphony] (September 2019)

One night, outside the bar, I am approached by an older version of myself. She brings a time machine and a mission – go back to the attitude era and change time so Shane remains the heir apparent. But some people are just meant to be together, and others just refuse to listen – even to an angel from the future. *WWE Universe Dream*

Story 4 A Song of Summer [A Snapshot] (October 2019)

As an Agent of SHIELD, it doesn’t take a genius to see that Black Widow and Hawkeye are in love. So, through the power of music, I decide to try and hook them up. *MCU Dream*

Story 5 Journeys Beginning [A Snapshot] (December 2019)

One day at school, I find myself amid an alien incursion. But don’t worry, the Doctor is on the case. Also, Shane is involved because of course he is. *Shane O Mac and Doctor Who Dream*

Story 6 Arson, Murder, and Revolution (January 2020)

At a Hollywood LGBTQ party, I find myself caught in a plot by the Trump administration to commit mass murder. When it goes awry, revolution stirs and it’s up to me and several other progressive celebrities to light the fuse *General Pop Culture Dream* *VIOLENT*

[See, they aren’t all about Shane. Just... most of them]

STAND ALONE STORIES

Once Upon a Dream (August 2019)

I black out drunk in an alley one night and awake to find myself in a dream. It’s 1990 and I’m somehow a middle-aged black woman. Also sharing the dream is a young and angry Shane McMahon. Together we use the circumstances of the dream to fuck shit up for the NYPD. *Shane O Mac Dream* *VIOLENT*

The Many Deaths of a Tabhead (August 2019)

Five years after getting hooked on a new drug called Tabs, I find myself in an endless loop of getting murdered. The only way out is to survive. Too bad I have no memory, and everyone wants me dead *Original Story Featuring IRL People* *VIOLENT AND DISTURBING*

Champion of the Faerie Queen (December 2019)

Did you know that Marissa McMahon is the Faerie Queen and Shane is her consort? Neither did I. And, it seems, when war comes a calling, it’s up to me to save the McMahons and the country. But I’ve got superpowers now, so that helps. *McMahon Family, MCU, and DC Universe Dream*

To Earthquakes, Lovers, and Newfound Friends (May 2020)

In lovely SoCal, I’m watching a movie when an earthquake strikes. I soon find myself both blind and badly burned. The only hope I have to survive is a certain pair of lovers who just happen to be in the area for some R&R. *Zowens Dream*

Penny and Kicks vs The World (June 2020)

As a longtime WWE employee, I’ve been best friends with Shane for years. But in the fallout of Coronavirus, the public is looking for a scapegoat. Vince is more than happy to offer up my father. Now, the entire wrestling world is in turmoil and Shane and I are just trying to weather the storm. *WWE Universe Dream* *VIOLENT*

Virginia Gothic (October 2019)

In a world where my highschool sweetheart and I never broke up, we must forge a path on our own through hardship and rejection. But what is the meaning of the mysterious Jesus statue? And why is Bacchus being so damn shifty? *Original Dream Featuring IRL People*

Uzil (January 2020)

An mystical being from the horsehead nebula takes up residence in a little boy’s guinea pig. The miracles come quickly and soon they are inseparable. *Original Third Person Dream* (I wasn’t in this one)

The E-Manual (February 2020)

The end of days is drawing near. I have been chosen as a prophet of the end times by the Almighty himself. I must go out into the world armed with only scripture and a mystical magazine, trying to convert as many people as possible before time runs out. *A Mostly Original Dream* (Shane’s in the last two pages)

Seraphina and the Seven Wishes (April 2020)

The world is a video game and the McMahon’s are the Addams family. It only gets weirder from there. *McMahon Family Dream*

A Matter of Science (And Opinion) (May 2020)

I accidentally set fire to my apartment during a spell. I’m promptly arrested and call The Doctor as my defense. Sadly, the call is rerouted to Stormcage and SpongeBob SquarePants ends up on the case instead. This one is every bit as absurd as it sounds. *Doctor Who and SpongeBob SquarePants Dream*

A Revolution In This Century (Enter Me) (November 2019) The year is 2027. Climate Change has decimated the globe and revolution has reduced the Ruling Elite to food reserves. However, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and soon the new ruling poor become as ruthless as the 1% had been. In this horrible dystopia, I am a powerful government official who has taken on the McMahons as consorts for the sole purpose of saving their skins. *McMahon Family Dream* *VIOLENT, DISTURBING, AND A BIT SMUTTY*

Crystal Vision – A Dozen Birthdays (December 2019)

After showing kindness to an enchantress, I am given my hearts greatest desire – a place in Shane’s life. I am sent back in time to 2005 as a WWE Makeup tech and given 12 years in the life of my childhood heroes. But a lot happened in the WWE from 2005 to 2017 and not all of it good. How much can and do I dare change? *WWE Universe Dream* *Painfully NKC. Disturbing subject matter involved because 2007 is a thing.*

Dr. Slime and the Wondernerds (August 2019)

Three high school nerds find themselves in possession of a mysterious green substance. When it explodes during an experiment, they find they have been given superpowers. However, this is the real world and super-powered “freaks” get picked apart, not celebrated. Can the teens resist using their powers? *Original Third Person Dream* (I’m not in this one)

Planeswalking Like A Grecian (October 2019)

After death, Xena finds herself on the Astral Plane. Promptly running into Joxer, they must find a way to survive the dangers of the afterlife. But don’t worry. Gabrielle has a plan. *Xenaverse Dream* (I’m not in this one)

The Foresight Curse (June 2020)

The problem with knowing the future is that you usually don’t have the ability to change it. So when Radar O’Reilly realizes Henry’s fate the day before it happens, he has to spend the next day trying to drown out the feelings of dread and sorrow, if only for the Colonel’s sake. Funny thing though, sometimes fate takes a left turn and you get a second chance to say goodbye. *M*A*S*H Universe Dream* (I’m not in this one) Vampires, Wraiths, and Shades, Oh My! (December 2019)

In the middle ages, I am orphaned at a very young age by vampires and taken in by Vampire Hunters (AU Shane and Stephanie). Now a teenager, I fight alongside them to protect the world from the dangers of the night. *McMahon Family Vampire AU Dream*

WHEW! I’m pretty sure that’s all of them! I have so dang many dreams it’s hard to keep track of them all! Anyway, out of all of these, only a handful are finished, ONE is published (Death of a Fangirl) and a ton of them aren’t far past the sketch stage. So, this is my list. Every story on here I at least have sketched out. I doubt I will ever even bother writing many of these, but the intent is present.

#Shanie's Dream Fic Masterpost

[theladylovingcrow]

High Sex is the Best (Just Don't Fall Asleep) - Sanny

Author (As known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, luluthechoosingcrow- AO3, theladylovingcrow- Devianart and Wattpad

Fandom: Greta Van Fleet

Pairing(s): Danny Wagner/Sam Kiszka, Jake Kiszka/Josh Kiszka in background, slightly implies Danny/Sam/Josh/Jake

Warnings/Tags: Drug use, marijuana, shotgunning, making out, mild smut, gay, voyeurism, masturbation, first kiss, incest, twincest, some attempts at humor

Word Count: 3715

Summary: Sam figures out that he's attracted to his best friend after catching Danny jerking off in the shower. (BTW this story focuses on Danny and Sam, though Jake and Josh are definitely in there)

Author's Notes: Yes, I wrote incest/twincest. If it bothers you, don't read it. This is pure, ridiculous, speculative fiction. I was hesitant to write it, at first, but the twins are so cute and I think it fits well, at least with this story.

Also I kinda realized the title sounds a bit rapey? Its not, they just fall asleep before it gets to the sex because I lost inspiration. Sorry not sorry.

------------------------------------------

"Welcome to your room, Monsueir, I hope everything is to your pleasure," Sam said in an awful French accent, bowing as Danny walked past him into their hotel room.

His best friend giggled and surveyed the room they had rented for the next two and a half days. The boys of Greta Van Fleet had elected to go to a Motel 6 during their longer stay in Minnesota instead of sleeping on the bus. Overall, the room was plain and oddly sea themed, but it would do the job.

"I think it's lovely! Very nice view, here," Danny replied, opening the puke orange curtains to survey the parking lot and Kmart across the street.

"Yes, very cozy," Sam said in his regular voice, kicking their duffel bags to one side of the queen sized bed. "But no, honestly, the room sucks. I might go back and sleep in the bus."

"What? I thought you said you didn't mind? It was all about the music, and that we play better together because we're so close and in tune with each other. Change your mind?"

Sam snorted and looked back at Danny, still by the window.

"Oh, no, I still believe all that. I just have a headache and I don't wanna listen to whatever the hell Jake and Josh are doing next door. I'm kind of in a crappy mood, sorry."

Danny grinned to match the

bassist. That was the Sam he knew.

"What makes you think they're gonna be at it tonight? Josh was complaining about *his* headache from your snoring all the way here."

Sam looked affronted.

"I do not snore!"

"Nuh-uh, you totally do. Remember, we even video taped it that year we went to the cabin on the lake."

Sam just pouted and threw a pillow from the bed at Danny, who caught it and tossed it right back at his face. They both set to work unpacking a few choice items and familiarizing themselves with the motel room's meager offerings.

"Hey, mints!" Danny cried from the corner, bent over the rickety desk to inspect what was on it. "And menus. Wanna order pizza?"

"You know I do," Sam said, "but let's see if my brothers have plans to go somewhere, or if they already ordered something."

"Hmm, yeah, good idea," Danny replied, already immersed again in going through the contents of the desk.

Sam pocketed the key card, just in case Danny wasn't able to open the door again for some reason, and went to the room directly to their left.

Jake answered the door, cheeks flushed and expression annoyed at being interrupted in whatever he was doing. Peering past him, Sam could see his eldest brother Josh lying on the bed, looking pretty well on his way to being fucked (and not the drug kind).

Ah, so Josh was what he had been doing. Okay, cool, that was pretty normal. Well, most people would disagree, horrified, but Sam's brothers had always been like this, and he saw no problem with the love and understanding they clearly had. He was a little bummed that he most likely wouldn't be getting a good night's sleep, though.

"Hey, do you guys have dinner plans? Danny and I want to order pizza."

"Nah, pizza sounds good. We'll, uh, come by and get it when we're ready to eat," Josh said from the bed, his voice raspier and deeper than normal.

Sam noticed that Jake's pants were also undone and slipping off of one bony hip, having been pulled on in a hurry.

He smirked at his brothers, and said, "Okay, sounds good. Enjoy the blow job!" Before pulling the door shut himself and turning to his and Danny's room.

He knocked on the blue door, and waited for his best friend to come let him in. Danny didn't come to the door, though, and if Sam strained his ears, he could hear the faint sound of the shower running through the clanking pipes.

'Thank God I thought to grab the key card, wouldn't want to spend the next twenty minutes in the twins' room cockblocking them. They always get so cranky when they can't get it on, damn horndogs.'

He let himself in, ordering the pizza then sitting down on the bed him and Danny would share the next two nights. They were all used to passing out in a pile on the floor, or sharing tents and bunks when camping, or even hotel beds like tonight when they still preferred to save money by getting one queen. Basically, they all slept together all the time and thought nothing of it.

Other people probably thought it was weird. Weird that his brothers were fucking, weird that he lay snuggled up to Josh's back with Danny's arms around his waist while they did it. Sam pondered what an outsider's perception to his life would be. But it didn't really matter in the end, did it? Like he told Danny, he was in this for the music. And it really did make them play better, he thought, knowing each other so closely.

Speaking of Danny, he was taking a long time in the shower. He could be washing his luxurious hair, or he could be jerking off. Maybe he was listening to Jake and Josh through the thin motel walls.

Sam grinned, and stealthily tip toed over to the bathroom door. He turned the knob, and smiled even wider when it opened without a noise. Looks like hotel maintenance actually upkept this room.

Creeping over to the sea horse patterned curtain, Sam prepared to rip it open and hopefully scare Danny out of his mind.

With a sudden "Hyyahhh!", he tore open the shower curtain to find his best friend with his hand wrapped around his erection.

"Ahhh!" Danny screamed, higher pitched than Josh's wailing onstage.

"Gotcha!" Sam cried, curiously pleases that he caught Danny jerking off.

It was just that he'd caught him doing something embarrassing, right? But, no, not really. His brothers didn't really make any attempts to mask their sounds of pleasure and shifting movements in the dark, and neither did Sam when he felt the need. Once Danny had gotten used to that (and it sure was a shocker the first few times), he hadn't hesitated to take care of a boner either. Danny had even fucked a girl while sitting on a couch right next to Sam.

So, 'embarrassing' wasn't the reason he was absolutely gleeful at catching (aka seeing) this. Danny didn't seem to mind, either, as he'd gone right back to stroking himself once the surprise of Sam's sudden appearance wore off.

"Is the pizza here already? I swear it hasn't been *that* long."

"Nah, man. Still probably have twenty minutes or so."

"Okay, so, did you- uhhh- did you need something?" Danny asked, moaning softly as his hand sped up.

"I dunno, I was bored," Sam answered. What was he supposed to say now, especially with the way he was mesmerized with seeing the mess of soap suds Danny was using as lube slide down his balls?

"I'm pretty entertained now, though," he blurted out. Sam guessed his mouth had decided that flirty and playful was the way to go in this emotionally confusing but increasingly hot situation.

"Uh- okay, sure. Just don't pull the curtain back any, anymore or water will- *fuck*- go everywhere. *Shit*." Danny got out, sounding breathless and preoccupied.

Sam wasn't going to pass up this opportunity to really observe, not just listen, so he leaned against the wall and watched to his heart's content.

Danny was stroking fast, now, his feet widened so that he could thrust his hips in tiny circles and not slip on the slick floor. His balls, much darker than the rest of his body and still covered in soap, swung gently with the motion. Sam couldn't get enough of seeing his dark pink head poke out from the foreskin every time Danny's hand started on the downstroke.

Sam stood and watched as Danny threw his head back, groaning low at the back of his throat as cum fell onto his fist and the shower floor. His own skinny jeans were noticeable tighter, he realized, after awareness of what just happened came to him.

Ehh, whatever. This wasn't the weirdest thing they'd done, and he doubted that it would make things awkward.

Sam whistled. "Damn, dude, that was kind of impressive."

"Kind of? Fuck you, Kiszka, I'm hotter than a shish kebab."

Sam snorted at the odd saying, but had to agree with it none the less. Danny was *really fucking hot.* That was why he's so exited, then: He's attracted to his best friend. Oddly, the thought didn't cause him alarm or disgust, just a level of clarity.

"You are. That was great, and now we get to have pizza!"

There had been a knock at the door a few seconds before, which could only be one thing: warm, cheesy, greasy pizza. Okay, it could have also been one of his brothers, but he didn't think they'd come up for air for another hour.

Danny smirked at his boner, but said nothing. Sam went to grab the food, being the clothed one, while Danny dried off and slipped on a pair of boxers. Danny didn't seem bothered by what had happened, either, in fact he appeared to be in a great mood. And that was just fine with Sam.

They both settled against the pillows on the bed, Sam now in his boxers and a soft tee shirt. An old western that neither of them had ever heard of was playing on the TV, and a pizza box lay by their feet.

"Hey, Danny, what's the best thing about Switzerland?" Sam suddenly asked.

"Um, I don't know. I don't know much about Switzerland. The chocolate?"

"I don't know either. But, the flag is a big plus!" Sam said, obviously trying to hold back his giggles. An ugly snort broke loose, though.

Danny bit his lip in an effort not to laugh, but Sam's ridiculous face and noises were hard to ignore. And it *had* been kind of a funny joke, if a really corny one.

They laughed together at the stupid joke Sam totally got off the internet, and polished off their box of pizza.

Danny groaned and rubbed his full belly; Sam yawned and stretched.

"Man, that was great. I swear the Dominoes at home doesn't make it like that," Sam said, yawning again.

"Yeah, I don't know what it was, but that pizza tasted ten times better than it normally does. Maybe because we haven't had any in awhile?"

"You call three days a while? But, yeah, it does tend to taste better when you've been craving it. What do you want to do now?" Sam asked.

"I dunno, dude, it's kinda early to go to bed but there's not much else to do. This motel has shitty channels."

"All motels have shitty channels, Dan. Wanna catch a drink, maybe? Go out?"

"Hmm, not really in the mood to get dressed again. I just wanna chill, you know? But some beer would be good, or a joint. You got shit?"

Sam grinned at him. "Of course I do. Here, let me put some music on. Maybe Jake and Josh will join us, they should be about done and hungry now."

The twins were indeed done (for the moment) and ready to eat their dinner. Danny got up to let them in as Sam put on his favorite Miles Davis album on his phone and lit up.

"Alright, it's a party! Pass that over, Sammy," Jake demanded, plopping down on the bed next to him.

Sam took a hit, shot gunned the smoke into Danny's mouth, then passed the joint over to his brother.

There: that was practically a kiss just then! And neither of them thought anything of it! Maybe watching Danny jerk off was just the next natural step in their relationship. After all, they were already extremely close, and, some might consider, intimate.

They all bobbed their heads to the music and slowly got high together; Sam was sharing more stupid jokes while the twins snuggled and breathed smoke into each other's mouths in between lazy kisses. Danny was lying in the middle of the bed, his head in Sam's lap so his best friend could play with his hair. They talked and laughed for hours, about everything from their show the next day to that chick from their high school who was STILL trying to bang Josh, no matter how many times he said no.

Eventually, Sam's brothers said goodnight and left, whispering much louder than they thought about how high sex was the best and that they were totally going to fuck until they passed out.

Sam waved them out with one hand, the other still tangled in Danny's thick hair. He felt so relaxed and content in that moment that a landslide coming towards the hotel couldn't of made him move.

"They're right, high sex is the best. Every thing feels so much- so much *more*."

Sam looked down at Danny and nodded in agreement.

"Hey, we're high. Wanna have sex?" Sam asked. Would Danny say yes? There was actually a possibility that he would, but, if not, that would be fine, too. Just hanging out with his best friend was enough.

"Sure, why the fuck not?" Danny replied.

Alright! What's it gonna be like, Sam wondered. Hot? Probably. Awkward? Not likely, at this point. How far were they gonna go? Danny was a fine looking guy, and Sam trusted him, but he was not ready to take it up the ass if they lasted that long.

Sam sucked in another lungful of smoke and scooted down the bed so that he was lying next to Danny, arms around him and a hand still curled into his hair. He leaned forward to shotgun the smoke, but, this time, he didn't pull away immediately.

One of Danny's hands found its way underneath his shirt, smoothing over his flat stomach. Sam gripped the side of his best friend's face and breathed out, passing the high between them as their lips mushed together. It was nice.

Really nice, actually. Sam was feeling very calm about the whole experience, practically watching it from outside his body on another plane. Maybe it was the weed, maybe it was the comfort of being right next to his best friend, but Sam felt at ease.

Also pretty horny, because hot DAMN was Danny doing something with his tongue. He kept licking at the seam of their lips like he was trying to taste the smoke escaping from the sides of their mouths.

Sam sucked on Danny's lower lip, making it dark and swollen. He then pulled back to catch a breath and look at his bandmate.

What a sight Danny was, with his long hair flowing around his shoulders, kissed lips, and heavy lidded eyes. Not to mention the blissed out expression on his face.

"Mmm, that is nice, and all we've even done is kissed."

"No, I watched you earlier, remember? I'm pretty sure that counts towards the... the sex."

"Oh, yeah," Danny remembered with a dopey smile on his face. "I liked having you watch me, it was hot. I haven't cum like that in a while."

"Wanna do that again? I liked watching you. You can watch me too, if you want."

Danny nodded and leaned back in for another cannabis flavored kiss. They finished off the joint in between slow, heavy french kisses and dropped the roach in a marinara sauce container, now more occupied with making out.

Sam was in heaven, there was no other way to describe it. Danny's large, warm hands roamed all over his torso: pressing flat into his stomach, gripping his hips, smoothing down his shoulder blades and pinching his nipples. The feeling of his best friend's hair was smoother than silk in between his fingers, and it was so thick that he was able to grab handfuls of it just so he could hang on for the ride.

Sam should have known that, out of anyone, Danny would be the person who had him whipped. They kissed and they moaned and they dry humped, just a little bit, until they were so sleepy and contented that they passed out on top of each other. What a disappointment.

//////////////

Sam woke up with a mothful of Danny's hair and a warm belly pressing on his erection. He smiled as hazy memories of the night before ghosted through his head: the pizza, the weed, the kissing, his newfound love interest.

He realized that he should probably spit out the hair in his mouth so that he wouldn't suffocate before him and Danny actually got a chance to have sex. Because he was pretty sure that hadn't happened last night. Pretty sure. It was kind of fuzzy.

"Hey, Danny, did we fuck last night?"

Danny groaned in response and pulled him closer, causing the drummer's own boner to rub against Sam's. How long had he been awake?

"No, no, I don't think we did. We could now, though."

Sam grinned. What an excellent idea! He rolled them over so that this time, Danny was lying on top of him.

They kissed, sloppy and sweet, musty breathes mingling in the air between them. Sam ran his hands up and down Danny's strong back, then traced the edge of his pants. He reached in between them to pull out Danny's co-

Jake busted through the door. "Hey! Which one of you took my sunglasses? I know you have them."

He paused for a minute to stare at their compromising position.

"God dammit! Josh is gonna be so fucking smug, you couldn't have waited another year to shack up?"

Sam and Danny just smiled at Each other and went back to kissing. They'd get to sex eventually. And Sam was looking forward to it.

#fanfiction #slash fiction #sam kiszka #danny wagner #samxdanny #sanny #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #joshxjake #joash #fluff #smut #humor #my writing #lulucrowproductions #contains incest #greta van fleet

[steviemae]

ultimatum // malachai

requested by anonymous: Ooh, I'm so glad requests are open! What about some angst for Malachai? Maybe like a one-night stand fulled with Jingle Jangle goes wrong and the reader ends up getting pregnant and has to tell her dad; FP. Btw I've legit been scrolling your blog for ages and I'm in love with your writing, it's so fucking amazing.

“Want something to drink, doll?” Malachai asked walking over to the bar cart.

“No thank you. I’ve had enough alcohol for tonight.” you took a seat on the edge of the bed watching the muscles in his back move as he poured himself a drink. He turned and walked over to you, handing you a glass of water before taking a seat next to you on the couch. You mumbled a thank you, downing the whole glass of water feeling slightly dehydrated.

“Let’s get this show on the road shall we?” he smirked waving the stick of jingle jangle. You smiled at him, watching as his fingers moved to rip open the end. He brought it to your lips, you tilted your head back and opened your mouth allowing him to pour the substance into your mouth. He poured half into yours before taking the other half for himself. Once the substance was dissolved he grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you in for a kiss.

“You know what they say about jingle jangle?” he asked when he pulled away. You shook your head no, not really knowing what he was going to say. This wasn’t your first time taking jingle jangle, but you only took it when you were hanging with friends in the comfort of your own home.

“It heightens orgasms.” he whispered in your ear, biting down on your lobe, “think we should test that theory?” he kissed along your jaw and down your neck before pulling back and gauging your reaction.

“I say we take one more straw and then test that theory.” you whispered back, a smirk toying at the corner of your lips. Malachai smiled taking the other straw out of his pocket doing the same as he did before. Dumping half into your mouth before taking the rest himself before tossing the now empty tube on the floor and attacking your mouth with his, making you fall backwards on the bed. You rushed to climb further up the bed, Malachai climbing on top of you. You made out and let your hands roam each other’s bodies, teasing slightly until you felt the drug kick in.

Moments later, you could feel it. You felt like the two of you were floating on a cloud, each kiss burning your skin like you’ve never felt before. You ripped each others clothes off in a desperate haste to feel each other.

--

The next morning you woke up groggy and with a pounding headache. You looked next to you remembering that Malachai had brought you upstairs. Flashes of the amazing sex the two of you had last night went through your brain. Looking down at the naked man next to you, those flashes were proven right. You groaned quietly, getting up from the bed and grabbing your clothes to slip back on. You thought you’d be able to sneak out before Malachai woke up, but you thought wrong.

“Leaving so soon?” he rasped as he rolled onto his back, leaning on his elbows so he could see you.

“Gotta get home at some point before my dad comes looking for me.” you joked standing at the end of the bed. He motioned for you to come to him so you walked to where he lay and sat next to him. He reached for your face pulling your down to kiss him. You scooted closer, putting your hand on his chest kissing him back.

“Put your number in my phone.” he mumbled against your lips. You nodded grabbing his phone off the side table handing it to him to unlock and putting your number in when he handed it back. You stood up from the bed, grabbing your shoes from the floor and put them on and slipped out of the room.

--

Months had past and you’ve been on your best behavior. Your dad had caught onto your partying antics and you didn’t want him to find out about Malachai, who you had been seeing ever since that night at the party. So you decided to not go to a party for a while and to stay sober until you were back on your dad’s good side.

You currently sat at Pop’s with Betty, Jughead, Veronica, Archie and Reggie. All of you were stressed about the SAT’s so you decided to meet at Pop’s for milkshakes after school to cool off for a few before studying some more. Pop had brought out the milkshakes and the second he sat yours in front of you, you felt sick to your stomach.

“I think i’m gonna throw up.” you mumbled feeling that uneasiness in the back of your throat. You dry heaved slightly before getting up out of the booth and booking it to the bathroom. Veronica and Betty followed after you to make sure you were good. You had no idea what was going on. You’ve never felt sick at the sight of anything at Pop’s, especially the milkshakes; those were your favorite part of Pop’s.

After throwing up into the toilet you wiped your mouth with some toilet paper before flushing the toilet and exiting the stall.

“Everything alright?” Betty asked.

“Yeah, i think it’s just stress from all the SAT crap.” you answered, “i’m gonna head home i think.” the girls nodded in agreement, thinking it was best that you go home as well. You grabbed your bag from the booth, bidding your friends and brother a goodbye before heading out and starting the trek home.

You decided to stop at the convenience store to get something for your stomach in case you felt like vomiting again. Walking up and down the isles, searching for some antacid you passed the condom section. You stopped in your tracks, taking a couple of steps backwards and turning to face the shelves of condoms.

“Fuck.” you mumbled to yourself. You bent down and grabbed a pregnancy test, “just in case. You’re probably not, but that night is blurry so just in case.” you whispered to yourself. You grabbed some antacid as well and headed to the counter to pay.

As you left the store, you text your dad to see if he was home thanking god when he said he was out and would be out for a while. You called Malachai as you walked home deciding to ask him about that fuzzy night of ecstasy.

“Hey, baby. What’s up?” he answered.

“Hi, quick question.” you said, “um did you use a condom that night we did JJ and slept together?” you asked anxiously picking at the strap of your backpack.

“You and i both know, neither of us remember exactly what happened that night. Just that it was probably the best sex either of us ever happened. Why? Is everything okay?” he asked, concern filling his voice.

“Everything’s fine, i was just asking. I threw up at Pop’s after he brought out a milkshake, but i’m sure it’s just the stress from cramming for the SATs.” you brushed it off.

“Okay, baby. Let me know if you need anything, alright.”

You finally reached your trailer, running inside as fast as you could and heading straight for the bathroom. Dropping everything but the test in the hallway, you shut the door, locking it in case someone came home. You pulled both tests out of the box, reading the directions before you opened them both and sat on the toilet to pee on both sticks. When you were done, you sat them both on the counter and flushed the toilet.

“Okay, three minutes and everything will be fine.” you said to yourself. Praying to god those tests came out negative. You slid down the wall, your butt hitting the floor as you put your face in your hands, not lifting it until the timer went off signalling it was time to check. You took a deep breath before standing and grabbing both tests off the counter. You closed your eyes tight, holding the tests out in front of you taking one last deep breath before opening them. Your heart and jaw dropped, eyes widening and stomach churned.

“Oh my god.”

--

You were pacing the living room floor until your dad came home. He immediately walked over to you, asking what was wrong.

“Can you sit down, please. I don’t know how to tell you this and i’m freaking out and i - i can’t, can you promise you won’t yell at me?” your voice grew raspy with every word until it finally cracked and a tear fell from your eye.

“What could you possibly have to tell me, honey?” he asked concerned. You couldn’t speak so instead you handed him the wash cloth that the tests were wrapped in and stood with your head down.

“Oh my god.” he whispered, “when did you take these?” he asked standing up from the couch.

“Today. I threw up at Pop’s and thought it was just stress and then i passed the tests at the convenience store so i grabbed one but i really didn’t think i was and now that says i am and i don’t know what to do.” you cried. Your dad immediately pulled you into a hug, letting you cry into his chest.

“We’ll figure this out, kid. It’s alright. We’ll make you an appointment with the doctor and we’ll find out for sure. Just calm down.” he brushed through your hair trying his best to calm your cries. When you had calmed down enough, he asked you the dreaded question.

“Who’s the dad, honey?” you sat down on the couch and played with the sleeves of your sweatshirt.

“I don’t want to tell you until we go to the doctor and find out for sure, and then i want to tell him. After that, i’ll tell you who it is, but right now can we just keep this between us?” you asked.

“Sure thing. Our little secret, like old times.” he smiled holding out his pink for you to take. You wrapped your around his giving him a soft smile, “go get some rest, kid. I’ll see if i can get you in tomorrow. The sooner we find out the better so we can get everything figured out.” he kissed your forehead before walking into the kitchen to call the doctor's office. You went into your room, changing into some pjs and climbed into bed thinking about how life could change for you.

--

“You’re what?” Malachai’s entire face dropped. Shock took over his features. His voice was monotoned and his shoulders slumped.

“Please don’t be mad at me.” you whispered.

“Why would i be mad at you?” he asked not understanding.

“Because this changes everything. We’re young, for starters. You run a gang - no, the biggest drug dealing gang in all of Riverdale. You’re the leader of my dad’s rival gang. I know i’ve been Switzerland this whole time, Kai but think about it. This isn’t going to make things better, it’s going to make things worse. You don’t want a kid. You got everything you could ever want right now. You run a drug empire, making mad money.” you ranted.

“I’ve never said i didn’t want kids, so don’t try to make shit up. I know this isn’t an ideal situation, but if you want to keep this baby we’ll figure it out.”

“Do you want to keep the baby?” you asked in a whisper.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think you and i, only being together officially for about a mont, knowing each other for six month, could raise a baby together?” you asked watching as he walked over to the couch to sit down, running his hands through his hair.

“I don’t know”

“So what do you know?” you asked crossing your arms over your chest.

“I know that i care about you, a lot. Regardless of who your dad is or who your brother is and that this is ultimately your choice, it’s your body. I’m not going to tell you what to do with it. I know that whatever you decide, i’m going to support you all the way in every way possible - financially, emotionally whatever.” you walked over to stand in front of him, cupping his face in your hands as tears started falling from your eyes.

“I’m scared and i don’t know what to do.” you whispered. Malachai stood up quickly, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.

“I know, baby. We’ll figure it out.”

--

“You’re fucking kidding me right?” your dad asked. His face was red with anger, but you could tell he was trying his best to keep his cool.

“I’m not.” you whispered.

“Malachai, the Ghoulie leader, drug lord of Riverdale, is the father of your child.”

“Why do you have to say it like that? That’s like someone asking me oh my god, Serpent King, biker gang member FP is your dad. Yes okay, he’s in some shit, but that doesn’t make him a bad person. Just like going to church doesn’t make you a good person.

“No absolutely not.”

“No what, dad?” you asked.

“It’s him or your family, y/n. You can’t have both. Not when we’re a part of rival gangs. No chance in hell am i welcoming that bastard with open arms after everything he’s done to this town.”

“You can’t seriously be telling me to choose between this baby’s dad or my family.”

“I am. Him or us, y/n. You choose him, you cut ties with us. You’re one of them. You choose us, you cut ties with him and we’ll help you. In a perfect world, maybe you could work it out, but this is Riverdale, sweety. Make a decision.”

“Why are you being like this, dad?” you cried.

“You did this to yourself.” with that, your dad stormed out of the trailer. The engine of his bike roared before fading off into the distance. Jughead walked in moments later finding you sobbing at the kitchen table.

“What happened?” he rushed over to you, pulling you into a hug.

“I’m pregnant,” you sobbed, “and Malachai’s the father and dad just gave me an ultimatum.”

“What ultimatum, y/n?” Jughead asked pulling away to look at you.

“You guys or Malachai. He said i can’t have both. And if i choose one i have to cut ties completely with the other.” you wiped your face on the sleeves of your sweatshirt.

“I’ll talk to him, y/n. I’ll fix this.” he assured.

“Don’t bother. It’s clear dad doesn’t give a shit. Malachai has been looking at places for me in case dad did this and i can’t cut my baby’s dad out of their life. He has a choice in this too, y’know.”

“But that means cutting ties with us.”

“I know, Jug. and trust me, this is the hardest decision i’ve ever had to make, but i can’t just keep Malachai from his kid.”

“I know, i know. Shh, okay. Everything’s gonna be okay. Maybe once the baby is born dad will calm down and come to his senses. Come on, i’ll help you pack and drop you off to Malachai.” Jughead helped you stand up, walking into your room to pack a couple of bags. You text Malachai telling him you were coming soon and that you’d explain when you got there.

By the time you and Jughead finished packing all of your necessities, both of you were crying. You could tell Jughead was trying his hardest to keep it together, but the second you stepped out of the car and Malachai got all of your bags out, he was propper sobbing. He got out, rounding the car to give you a hug, telling you that everything was okay.

“Keep her safe.” he told Malachai earning a nod from him in response. And with that Jughead got back in the truck, heading back to the trailer park.

#riverdale imagines #tommy martinez imagines #riverdale imagine #tommy martinez #malachai imagines #malachai riverdale #riverdale #writing #imagines #steviemae

[laufire]

ENDGAME

Okay. I definitely won’t be able to sleep today, so I might as well pour out all my Endgame feelings right now.

First thing first, I was probably in the WORST POSSIBLE HEADSPACE to watch this film; national elections where fascists could take over Congress (spoiler alert, they didn’t. I literally just cried with relief for over ten minutes) AND being extremely concerned about characters you over-identify with on the same day, all after the worst year of your life, apparently don’t mix well. Who would have thunk.

(btw, I was spoiled as I was voting about That Very Big Thing; everyone who follows me probably can guess what I’m talking about. I almost threw hands tbh. Then almost cried over a dozen times on the way to the theatre because the stress of the day was killing me ugh).

All this to say, my head is a mess right now, I don’t even know if this post is going to make any sense, and I will probably take time to process certain things and have a definite opinion on them LOL. But well, here is now.

And err. Warning for a brief mention of suicide ideation?

(crossposted to dreamwidth, livejournal, and pillowfort)

TONY (& CO)

– In case it wasn’t obvious, the thing I was spoiled about? Yeah, it was Tony’s death. FML. I mean, even if I wasn’t spoiled, I would’ve seen it coming as soon as we saw him after the five years jump, lbr (happily off-screen married to Pepper? With an adorable daughter? Pepper resigned to the possibility of losing him instead of begging him to stay like in IW? And then the movie kept hammering it home LMAO; that and a lot of things for the mains that I kind of saw coming from less than a third into the movie, which IDK if it’s because I was particularly intuitive, or the foreshadowing was that heavy handed xD).

Obviously, I’m not rocking your world if I tell you I’m extremely heartbroken, I guess. Especially because, as I said, my emotions were already all over the place. And seeing a character I adore, and in who I project a lot of my issues on –including, yes, suicidal issues–, sacrifice their lives (no matter how poignant, and moving, and well-written it might be) was incredibly hard for me. So, yeah. I’m going to have to deal with that for a while I guess. Which I plan to do by writing a bunch of Fix-It and Not Actually Fix-It fics ASAP.

But. I mean, out of all the endings Tony could have, this was always my second choice for him. And he was grandiose in this film. He figured out time travel. He created a gauntlet capable of holding the Infinity stones. Beings far more powerful than him were trying to carry that gauntlet to the van and none of them thought to use it, but he did. He was completely vindicated. He is the Saviour of the Universe.

And he looked gorgeous the entire time, which is truly important for me.

– In all seriousness, the thing I take to heart the most is that

his legacy remains intact

, and it’s inspiring, and heroic, and poetic, and prosperous. Clearly, without him, my enthusiasm for the universe will never be the same, but one thing that worried me is that I wouldn’t want anything to do with Marvel for a while after this film, and that’s not how I’m feeling; I’m very much looking forward to further parallels and homages to him in my ever-growing list :P

Tho, honestly, I’m kind of side-eyeing myself for the fact that, the one time!!! I go and fall in love with a male lead character, he happens to be genuinely heroic and self-sacrificing, instead of just using those concepts as lip-service and getting to have his cake and eat it too LMAO. I mean, sure, given my reactions to those characters, the AeJons Snowrgaryens of the world, I wouldn’t have liked him so much if it was the case, but dammit. It’d be nice to experience that high sometime xD

– The Iron Fam is the best part of this movie for me. Tony’s relationship with Morgan was way too adorable to handle it; Pepper was enormous and so poised (and the scene where they circle around each other in their armors… poetic cinema); I didn’t get enough Iron Husbands to satiate me (Rhodey’s caress should have been skin to skin!), but I loved what we got; Happy is an assholes who made me cry ABOUT CHEESEBURGERS.

And let’s not talk about Peter, OMG. My heart. And Harley appeared to Tony’s funeral! Though, honestly, the person I missed the most there was Christine Everhart, who should have been there just on the basis that I like her (plus, ya know, IMO she was important to Tony’s origin dammit).

I’m going to consider Nebula an honorary member, tbh. Her scenes with Tony in space cut me deep; and she and Rhodey are buddies!

Natasha and Fury (I loved his appearance *sniffs*) are honorary members too, because fuck it. They both appeared first vis a vis Tony on his movies, and have two of my favourite relationships with him, and I say so.

– Related to that, one Failure™ of this movie, is not providing a Nat & Tony one-on-one scene. Seriously, I can’t believe they didn’t realize how necessary that was. But I ADORED the scene where they and Bruce are lying down bouncing ideas about the stones (it made me softly whisper “ot3” LOL); it was possibly the only “Avengers” moment that worked for me –other than Clintasha, but that’s on a different league tbh.

I wanted more Nebula & Tony scenes too; I would’ve loved to see Tony interact with Past!Nebula. Yes, realistically, he would probably had made her LOL, but. I needed it. it’s definitely on my to-write-list :P

– I wanted just some positive interaction between Carol & Tony to counteract Current Comics Bullshit and I got Carol rescuing him, smiling beatifically at him, and Tony basically saying she was Da Bomb and the Avengers should follow her lead instead of keep sucking xDD So that was nice.

– I loved the scene at the beginning where he fucking SNAPS, and goes for Steve’s throat. It was probably my favourite scene. It’s resolution with everyone’s reactions and after the flashforward kind of… totally sucked, but whatever. Still amazing.

– The only part of his storyline that I HATED, and I mean absolutely loathed, was his scene with Howard. Jesus Fucking Christ. They went with the most simplistic take they could have, didn’t they. I haven’t felt more insulted in the theatre in my entire life, and my family made me watch both Ocho apellidos movies with them, so Marvel? That’s a feat. The moment where he says his father hit him with a belt so we (Tony included) are supposed to think, well, at least Howard wasn’t physically violent with his son, hooray?

And I think we’re supposed to take his “wouldn’t want my son to turn like me” as motivation for Tony’s actions and like… newsflash, but Tony has “put the worlds’ needs over his own gain” since Iron Man. Fucking. One. It’s literally what he does in this film, because we’re shown that, despite having achieved his happy ending, he was still trying to figure out time travel even if it meant risking his future.

Seriously, if they wanted me to be moved, they should’ve used Maria. Or hell, Edwin Jarvis was right there. And if whitewashing of Howard’s abuse becomes one of those MCU things that ends up bleeding into the comics, I’m gonna riot. Ugh.

BTW, just thought about this. Has anyone confirmed what the H. of Morgan’s second name stands for? Because my immediate idea was that it was for Happy, but now the fear that it might relate to Howard has entered my brain and I need someone to drive it out.

OTHER FAVES :P

– I am a lot more heartbroken over Natasha’s death than I expected to be. I like her character on paper a lot, but sometimes the writing or the acting don’t agree with me; neither was the case in this movie. I thought she was incredible. I loved the scene where she’s leading the post-dusting council. So losing her in this movie, of all movies, really hurts. And I understand why people who love her would be unhappy, and even furious –to some extent, so am I, tbh; specially because I don’t think she was properly honoured by the other characters after the fact–, but I do think it was extremely fitting for her arc.

– I loved Nebula’s storyline; how she was able to form new relationships, and what I know will be enduring friendships. Her interactions with her younger self were fascinating too; I loved that she perfectly followed the time-travel mumbo-jumbo. And she was so adorable at the beginning. Her bond with Tony didn’t have as much screen time as I wish it had, but the rest of the movie really shows how much his kindness touched her, and I love it. I’m a bit sad she didn’t get to kill any Thanos, tho.

– Okay, putting him in the “faves” section doesn’t exactly feel right, but whatever: I maintain that Thanos is a great villain. I don’t know what people that say otherwise are thinking. He’s the perfect foil for so many characters, and he is genuinely villainous; he is so delusional and self-righteous (seriously, his “solution” for the Snap 2.0 was… o.0) his plans feel sincerely menacing. He perfectly spells out his own doom; narratively speaking? He’s a joy of a villain to me. And I loved how he reacted to the information about the future; specifically, that upon learning about Nebula’s “betrayal”, his tactic was SOFTENING towards past!Nebula to make her even more eager to please him.

– Carol didn’t have much screen time, but I liked what she got (like, nothing too deep, but I didn’t expect much). I liked the Carol/Rhodey nod, even if I’m not sure how I feel about the ship in this incarnation. I wanted to hear something about Maria, but welp.

And on a shallow note, I kind of love that fandom absolutely freaked out about her wearing lipstick on a scene (while praising the “~natural no-make-up make up, effortlessly feminine without looking like you’re actually trying” look that she sported on CM, and disregarding that while yes, it was a troubling look that fitted a pattern across movies, A4 was made first so it was hardly a “betrayal” of the semi-grunge style), for the movie to go and give her the butchest look she’s ever gonna get on film lmao (and I will be pleasantly surprised if they’d keep a look like this for a movie where she’s the lead and not a supporting character, tbh).

– Sam and Bucky were So Soft™ with each other OMG. If their show doesn’t have at least ONE episode centred on them going undercover as a married couple, I’ll write it myself, because they are perfect for it (especially if you add some of the early banter/antagonism).

Btw, Sam getting the shield? The only good part of that mess at the end LMAO.

– I have mixed feelings for the Alt!Gamora development. I just… really loved the GOTG-IW versions of her character and her ship, and she’s gone and just… :( And that type of pseudo-amnesia/relationship do-over thing can be so badly written sometimes… But she’s back, and if done right, the role-reversal between her and Nebula could be gr10 for GOTG 3. We’ll see.

THE BAD™

– I know if I walked up right now to the Russos, and asked them why they hate Thor so much, they wouldn’t even understand the question. They would say, but we love Thor?? He’s such a fun character?? Or some version of the sort. They can fool themselves, but not me. You don’t do this to a character for whom you feel a modicum of respect, IMO.

Like, the fat-phobic jokes? The way they dealt with his substance abuse? How his arc about stepping up and assuming responsibilities ended by… him throwing away his responsibilities. Losing his hammer was a turning point for him to relearn the lessons about value and worthiness and power he’d been taught, and then… this movie. I couldn’t even fully enjoy his scenes with Frigga because I was so appalled by it all.

His only great scene, IMO, was how horrified and out of it he sounded after killing Thanos. I really felt that.

I didn’t even enjoy that he passed his power to Valkyrie because… unlike with Sam, that basically came out of nowhere. If they at least had given them ONE more scene at the beginning; seriously, it writes itself: just put her in the room when Bruce and Rocket are trying to convince him to go with them, and have her being the one that does it. Make her help him the way HE helped HER in Ragnarok; show her trying to help him and getting angry and frustrated. IDK, something.

And I know I’m probably alone in this because everyone around me practically creamed their pants when it happened but… having Steve control Mjolnir felt like adding insult to injury. Not just lifting it (which I would’ve been annoyed by too, given that they rewrote the new Asgardian mythology just to have this scene lol), but commanding it as only Thor did. Just. How much more are you going to take from Thor, people.

I want to make it clear that my problem is with the execution, not with Thor going through this; that, written differently, with more care, I could have loved.

– I’ve always been conflicted with MCU Steve. I loved the Captain America old comics I read as a child, and 616 Steve was A Hero. So I wanted to love MCU Steve just as much but… it often felt that he just didn’t measure up.

Well, conflict over. I don’t like the guy. Reading Man Out of Time just a few months ago probably isn’t helping (and yeah, that’s not a fair comparison, but it illustrates why I look at 616 Steve, and I adore him, and then I turn to MCU Steve and just… this guy is not worth my time).

I couldn’t even enjoy the ship, because my feelings for it come solely from my love for Peggy, and she didn’t even get to say a word? Add to that the fact that an endless loop of “OMG HE MADE OUT WITH YOUR NIECE. NOW HIS NIECE. RUN” was going through my head the entire time (the fact that Sharon was absent from the funeral when EVC acted in half of the MCU Russos films is hilarious in light of this xDD).

 MISC

– I really enjoyed some of the heist shenanigans. Especially Tony’s plan for a distraction being GIVING HIS PAST SELF A HEART ATTACK. How extra and edgy can my man be xD Tony and Scott are A Duo.

– I was thinking that Alt!Loki might make an appearance in GOTG3 if Thor is really a part of it, and how that might mix, but then a friend reminded me about his show, so I guess that’s where they’re going? IDK, The Avengers’ Loki is probably the one I liked the least out of all his appearances, so unless I hear something really good about it, I’m not picking it up.

– IDK if it’s because I was desensitized, but the white suits and Clint’s hairdo didn’t look as ugly on the final product?

– So THAT was the gay character Feige went on about. I knew he was going to be an unnamed nobody with less than five lines LMAO. Stop being cowards and give us Danbeau and WinterFalcon.

– I was very touched about Ned and Peter’s hug (MY BBYS), but isn’t Ned supposed to be five years older? AKA out of high school? I mean, he looked like he had missed Peter, not like he had disappeared with him too? And the entire class is going on a trip in FFH? Is it because of nostalgia/a friends thing? Were all of them dusted? Because poor teacher then xDD

– I think a lot of emotional threads were unceremoniously dropped, but other than the ones I’ve mentioned, I’m more indifferent towards their recipients so… eh. A great example is the fact that Bruce’s conflicting journey with Hulk was solved off-screen LMAO. Some of the humour felt extra-cringy too tbh.

– I have Tony-related fanart as my lock screen, my computer background, and my phone background. I get teary eyed with just looking at them. I should think of changing them, but I wont xD

– I know I’m forgetting things but whatevs, I can talk about them later.

#tony stark #mcu #marvel #iron family #thor odinson #nebula #natasha romanoff #thanos #winterfalcon #and other stuff but i'd be here all day #marvel (movies) #gamora #avengers (movies) #avengers: endgame #endgame spoilers #my thoughts #talking to the void #marvel thoughts

[trumpetnista]

CMW2/Trumpetnista: Not You, Too

Summary from FFN: CANON COMPLIANT AU WITH HEAVY SPOILERS FOR THE END OF SEASON 4 AND THE FIRST EPS OF 5. POSSIBLY A FUTURE FIC; Gotham breaks all the rules all the time, especially now. Thankfully, the one about cats having 9 lives? That still holds. Bruce thinks Selina is dead. Everyone does until she walks into the GCPD the next morning.;Rated for language and imagery;1st in my 2019 SSS Project

Words from the Hooded GOTHAMITE: As I said last time, what keeps me watching GOTHAM (other than the awesome writing, dope ass cast, and the lovely fandom...) are Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle. They hooked me like a fish and I fell in love with the rest of the show in the process. Season 5 has been excellent as always yet bittersweet. It’s supposed to be the last one (I hope not. I hope the show gets picked up or we get a movie or something! It can’t be over yet! Come on!) and I have a feeling that B and Grumpy Cat aren’t gonna be together in the endgame. Not outright, anyways. I don’t think they’ll be enemies but together? As in Helena Wayne showing up levels of together? Nah. 

That’s what fanfic is for. There is a follow up to Positive planned, BTW.

Anyway, this one is another canon complaint AU set in the current season. All you really need to know is that The Eviler Evil Valeska Twin shot our girl, she was paralyzed and now she’s not thanks to Ivy Pepper Version 3’s reluctant help, and Gotham is now divided up into Zones, most of them insane and wild and chock full of yikes. Oh, and Bruce loves Selina but that’s always been pretty fucking obvious. LOL! Enjoy the latest. 

Disclaimer: “Honestly, it’s not mine!”

"What's up, 5-0? Beautiful day, isn't it? The sky is smoggy blue and the birds are singing..."

He was hallucinating.

He had to be.

There was no way that what he was hearing was possible.

No matter how much he ached to, there was no way that he was hearing Selina Kyle's voice.

She was dead. Truly dead. She had gone on one of what she called her "shopping trips" for The Haven and Jeremiah Valeska had finished what he had started that horrible night in the Study. He and his demented girlfriend had trapped her in a warehouse, knocked her out, and blown her up. Not only had they done it, Jeremiah had turned himself in, battered but proud. He claimed that it had been for the best. Selina was nothing but street trash. She was his downfall and utterly unacceptable as a companion for him. Gotham needed its Dark Knight to be with someone who truly understood what reality was. Someone like...

Bruce Wayne hadn't let him finish. Before anyone could stop him, he had picked up a chair and gone after him, much to the shrieking horror of Ecco. It had taken several officers and someone, likely Alfred Pennyworth, sedating him to make him stop. He had woken up in Jim Gordon's office and had stayed on the couch. He didn't want to see anyone. Nobody knew what to say to him. Everyone knew how much Selina meant to him. That was why she had been targeted twice.

Bruce had managed to help her. He had gone straight into the belly of Ivy Pepper's foliage covered beast to get the root to fix her severed spine. Selina had gotten back on her feet immediately and hit the ground running. Shocking everyone, she had opted to wait to get her revenge against Valeska. She was going to play the long game. Valeska wasn't going anywhere. He was just as trapped as everyone else, thanks to the bridges being gone and the Travel Ban.

When asked why, she had sadly explained that Tabitha Galavan, her Mentor turned Sister, had been impatient for revenge and it had taken her life. She had allowed anger and hurt to cloud her judgement. She had dropped her guard and Oswald Cobblepot had promptly murdered her. Bruce had seen it happen. It had been expected. After all, both Galavan siblings had done great harm to the man but hearing Barbara Kean's devastated rage? Knowing that Selina would have to mourn her? It had hurt deeply. It was all a goddamned waste.

Instead of seeking out Valeska or his followers, Selina had opted to use her skills as a thief to help The Haven and its refugees. She would pick a small gang's turf within a Zone, typically Penguin's, and go in for 12-36 hours. She would bring back people, ammunition, medicine, and meaningful things like blankets or feminine hygiene products. She had quickly gained a reputation for being utterly ruthless to any who tried to stop her, which had concerned him greatly. Ivy had warned him that the root would not only fix her spine but amplify the darker aspects of her personality. Bruce had tried to reel her in, leading to several arguments, and eventually, they had reached a stalemate.

She would do what she liked. He would stay out her way or at least keep his judgement to himself while he helped her. Gotham was a madhouse. It always had been but now? It was a free for all. It was survival of the fittest and she would be damned if she let someone who crossed her walk away. She had made that mistake in the past and it had cost her dearly. She had been screwed over one too many times. It would not be happening again. If there was a Hell, she was already going to it so what did it matter, anyways? Self defense wasn't murder, neither was saving people's asses.

Plus, she didn't know about him but she was in no mood to deal with the same group of psychos 10 years from now. She wanted to deal with new psychos.

But, now she wouldn't because she was dead and gone. She was as dead and gone as his parents.

His Selina was gone and Bruce would never see her again, not in this life.

But, the hallucination...she wasn't...she couldn't be...

Could she? Please?

Her mane of golden chestnut curls wasn't singed and pulled up into a messy bun. She wasn't standing in the 12th precinct's main entryway. She wasn't wheezing softly from a partially blocked nose. Her tactical suit wasn't unzipped to reveal a stained gray sports bra and bruised torso. She wasn't looking at the stunned occupants of the room with her usual dismissive amusement, even with a black eye. She wasn't limping and her whip wasn't wrapped around her bruised shoulder like a coil of wire as she drank straight from a bottle of what appeared to be Everclear.

She couldn't be...could she? Was it possible? She couldn't...why was the room spinning? Why was his chest hurting? Bruce stood in the office, speechless and shaking, watching as the Selina hallucination sat on the receptionist desk. It was so real...

"What's the matter? You guys never seen a 7 lives having bitch before?"

"My God..."

"Jesus Christ, Gordon! Get the hell off of me! You, too, Alfred! Bad touch!"

The hallucination looked like her. It definitely sounded like her but it couldn't...she wasn't...but Jim was smiling at it. Alfred was too. Both were still hugging the hallucination and Harvey Bullock had taken its bottle of liquor away, taking a deep swig. She snatched it back from him and shot him a lethal look, making him grin.

"Buzz off, gumshoe. This is mine. I earned it. Plus, it's the closest thing we've got to morphine, which I kinda need right now. I need some morphine, a shower, a nap, maybe take a crap before all of that..."

"Kid, we all thought you were done for. Valeska and his crazy Terminator bitch said you were."

"I'm not a kid. Yeah, I definitely got shanghaied by those goddamned freaks and it sucked but their bomb didn't kill me like they wanted it to. It just made me fly away, which was totally fun until I landed face, ribs, and tits first into the side of a delivery truck. Don't do that, by the way. It hurts. I managed to get it started and it has some good stuff in there. Ammo, some cases of water, and those military TV dinner things and I think there might be meds. I'm not sure. Speaking of meds, I'm still looking for Lee. She was the best, bravest doctor in the city and if I can find her, you can get The Narrows under control real easy. Everybody loved her because she legit gave a shit so they're looking for her. There's a big T.P. and blankets reward for anyone who finds her. She might be across the river, I dunno. Maybe someone could swim over through the subways to go check and to ask for help in person since using the radio obviously doesn't goddamned work..."

"It's too dangerous. The damage from the bridges blocked or flooded the tunnels."

"Dammit. You can't rig something up, Foxy? You're like the better version of that tech dude from the James Bonds movies. The hell's his name again? X? Y?"

"Q."

"Right...whatever. Where's Bruce?"

"Selina..."

"Where. Is. Bruce? Alfred, where is he? Did he...where the hell is he?! What happened?!"

"Valeska showed up here gloating and he snapped. He took a chair to him and...he was in Cap's office but..."

"Get out of my way. Now."

"Selina, I know you're worried but..."

"Harper, I really like you but if you don't get the fuck out of my way, I swear to God, I'll..."

Bruce stepped out of the office and all eyes went to him. All he could see was Selina. He was still shaking and breathing was getting more difficult by the second but he couldn't look away. He didn't even want to blink because then, she would disappear and...

"Oh, no."

As soon as she touched him, reality hit him all at once.

She was real.

She was alive!

"Bruce. Bruce? Come on, baby, look at me...you need to breathe...look at me!"

His first instinct was to obey her and he did just that. His Selina wanted him to breathe. She wanted him to look at her and he was going to. He was going to do any and everything she asked.

Baby? That was new. Selina usually called him B or by his full name. Either that or she called him a douchebag or something else along those lines but fondly. Never a pet name. She had always cringed at pet names and other conventional romantic relationship things like them. But, she was alive. She was alive. She was battered and bruised and didn't smell very good but she was alive. Selina was alive! She wasn't gone. Jeremiah hadn't taken her away from him. Gotham hadn't stolen her away from him. He hadn't lost her. She was alive. She was right in front of him. He wasn't dreaming. He wasn't hallucinating.

"Selina?"

"Hey, Bruce."

"You're alive."

"Barely."

"...y-you're alive?"

"Yeah, I'm alive. I'm right in of- ow!"

Bruce knew that he would have to do some serious groveling later but he didn't care. He hauled Selina flush against him and squeezed as hard as he could, uncaring of her injuries. The noises escaping him could be called crying or maybe screaming, he wasn't sure. As if let loose from a puppeteer's strings, he slumped against the wall and surprising him, Selina wasn't fighting him.

She was holding onto him just as tightly. She was crying like she had after her failed suicide attempt and he loosened his grip enough for her to look up at him. She had to look up at him, now. She had to stand on her tiptoes to give him a proper kiss when they were standing. He remembered when she was taller than him. He remembered when they first met. Every memory he had with her, good and bad, was running through his mind at warp speed.

Cupping his face, she kissed him deeply and he responded immediately, mindful of her cut lip. His second hug was much gentler and he smiled at a beaming Alfred, a crying and grinning Jim. They loved her just as much as he did. They were her family, along with Barbara Kean, and...

"As soon as the Travel Ban lifts, I'm going on vacation and I'm taking you with me. I don't give a shit about your Mission or whatever the hell you call it. We're going someplace warm where we can get falling down fucked up drunk legally and I can have my tits out."

Bruce tried to laugh but he kept sobbing, drinking her in greedily. She was alive. His best friend, his heart, his Selina was alive! She wanted to go someplace warm? Done. She wanted him with her? Done. Whatever she wanted, whatever she needed, he would do it. Even if (when) it compromised his moral compass, he would do it anyway because Selina Kyle was alive. She was alive and he wasn't going to question how. Okay, he would because that was how he was. He always wanted answers but the universe had granted him a most precious gift and...

"...not you, too?"

His voice was small and the smile, the look she gave him was the softest he had ever seen.

"Not me, too. Not today. Not ever. You're stuck with me, Bruce Wayne. Get used to it."

#Gotham #gotham on fox #gotham spoilers #gotham season 4 spoilers #gotham season 5 spoilers #otp: as more than a friend #otp: we're the same #otp: the bat and the cat #bruce wayne #selina kyle #alfred pennyworth #jim gordon #gotham year zero #cmw2 #trumpetnista #hooded gothamite #gotham fanfiction #baby batcat #batcat #batman x catwoman

[birbpotate]

For the fic thing, how about how, in the canon, their first kiss would happen? Of course if you have already done this or don’t want to that’s okay. I hope you have a great day. Btw I really love your writing and it has been an encouragement for me to get out of my writing slump.

AAAAAAAAHHHH thank you so much omggg that's so nice to hear!!! Of course I will write it!! You were actually my first request but I was at a stage where all I could writ was angst ijdiwedde. So here you go!! Hope you guys like it!! I only just got out of my confinement period for training so I may be kinda rusty ^^;

At 15, that’s when they first met. They had been bypassing one another in the school halls, neither really taking note of the other as they stroll towards the cafeteria, one in a small group, the other alone. Hizashi briefly remembers sparing the quiet boy a glance, curiosity in his bright green eyes as he took in the seemingly unmotivated, slouched posture that he’d adopted. The blond wondered why did he choose to join the school if he had been so unenthusiastic about being here. But the moment passed fleetingly, and soon he’d thrown all thoughts of the other student to the wind and never looked back.

At 16, he met the boy again. This time, instead of watching with sympathy in his heart from the spectators’ stand down into the arena as the boy was unfairly matched up against a student whose quirk everyone else envied, Hizashi’s standing across him in the semi-finals of the annual sports tournament. Before, he’d never paid much heed to the gossip revolving around a certain student, only knowing that this opponent takes from others. Now, he knows what exactly it is the other boy takes, but still it wasn’t enough.He’s defeated after a challenging scuffle, quirkless and inexperienced in the art of close combat. The blond accepted his loss, and with a new conviction in his heart and an admiration of this boy whose name he now knew to be Aizawa Shouta, he thanked the other for the fight, and left the arena. No one cheered louder than him when the dark haired boy received the first place, a dark horse from General Studies no one expected to win.Aizawa Shouta joined Hizashi’s class that same year.At 21, both of them were practically inseparable. Completing their studies together in the same university, they proceeded to fulfill their hero career, stowing the license they had fought tooth and nail together for back in highschool in their wallets carefully. They’d gotten an apartment together, having decided it would be more convenient, cheaper, on their finances. This way, they wouldn’t have to crash the other’s house whenever there was an injury that needed treatment for, or let their own rentals go to waste as they spend more time at each other’s place than their own. Hizashi was ecstatic when Shouta agreed to his preposition, bouncing on his feet and giving the shorter man a big hug, of which Shouta never did complain about. They got their first shared apartment keys about two weeks later.At 23, Hizashi realised he’d fallen in love with his best friend. Or rather, had always been in love with him. Relationships after relationships, break ups after break ups, Shouta had always been there through it all. He’d seen it all. As Hizashi laid his head on the underground hero’s lap while they laugh together at the television screen, he wondered just why was it he’d never noticed that everything he’d ever wanted was within his grasp. He wondered if Shouta felt the same, if he shared the same adoration, admiration, care for the blond as he did him.He wondered if it was too late to confess, too arrogant of him to assume Shouta may return the sentiments. His mood dropped slightly, and Shouta must have felt the shift, because there was now a hand in his long, blond hair stroking his head gently. Hizashi’s heart tightened.He wanted this.He’s 25 now; a lot has changed since the beginnings of their heroing days. Hizashi is now a teacher and a radio show personality in addition to being a hero. His jobs are hard on his time, but eventually, he’s worked out a schedule that puts less stress on himself. A more organised schedule also means more time with Shouta.Shouta…Hizashi chews on his bottom lip as he thinks of the other man. Shouta is a full-time underground hero, and the workload is ridiculous. He’s taking on cases after cases, investigations that doesn’t go under the public eye because they are far too secretive to be shared like that. His quirk is in high demand by the police force, and Shouta’s never one to turn down an ask for help.

They’re in their apartment right now, Hizashi wrapping soft, white bandages around a particularly bad cut that probably required stitching, but Shouta insisted on not going to the hospital. This has become somewhat of a norm, a norm that worries Hizashi to no end. The injuries that come with his job are endless, and the insomnia that comes with Shouta’s hyperfixation on his work is concerning. He’s always tired, in a perpetual state of exhaustion as he never eats well, sleeps well, and he wouldn’t if it had not been for Hizashi.Hizashi himself is tired, so tired. Coming home from work each day is like Nirvana to him, as he tosses aside his hero gear and lets his hair out of his signature hairstyle, finally letting himself relax as Yamada Hizashi. “Eyes closed,” the blond instructs, lifting himself into a straighter position as he pushes Shouta to lie back on the couch, and the other man obediently slides his eyes close. He has a cotton swab in his hand, ready to disinfect the nasty looking cut on his left eyelid. It’s swollen and red and inflamed, and Hizashi cringes as he applies the alcohol on the wound, watching as Shouta flinches a little from the pain before relaxing.The blond finds himself spacing off as he stares into Shouta’s face. He looks so at peace; he only ever looks this way around Hizashi, he takes note with a sense of pride, knowing that Shouta trusts him more than anyone else. His face is youthful, boyish, even with the stubble that the man lets grow, the dark eye circles underneath his eyes. His hair is getting long, gorgeous natural waves that frames his face and shoulders beautifully. Hizashi loves hair, that’s why he takes such good care of his own, that’s why he insists on taking care of Shouta’s too.“I’m done.”The man’s eyes slowly open, and the dark orbs gaze into his own sleepily, a hint of gratitude in them. “Thanks,” he mutters, making no move to stand or leave. As if he’s waiting for something.It’s probably all a figment of Hizashi’s imagination, but he looks as though he’s waiting for a kiss. Years of pining, years of wanting the other comes crashing down on him, and suddenly, he feels a need to act on his emotions. He wants to have this; call him selfish, but he wants Shouta for himself.He wants to have the other for himself just as much as he wants to give himself to Shouta.“Shouta…” Hizashi starts, mouth drying up slightly as he swallows, trying to keep his emotions at bay, because he feels like he just may cry with how much he wants the other, loves the other. “Shouta, I love you.”When he opens his eyes, Shouta is staring at him in shock, eyes wide and lips slightly agape. At first, Hizashi thinks he’s fucked up, that he’s destroyed this balance that they have and chased the other away. But then a hint of pink creeps up on the shorter man’s cheeks, before it blossoms into an adorable shade of red that answers everything.“Hizashi, I… Why?” “Do i need a reason to love you?” Hizashi asks. “Because if you need to know, I can go on for days, list off everything about you I love, every little moment with you that makes me want you more, every single second that makes me want to give you the world.” He stops to breathe slowly, and he slides a hand out to cup Shouta’s cheek in his palm, tentatively at first, but his action gains confidence as Shouta seeks out the warmth, leans into him as if he wants more.“I love you, Shouta,” the blond repeats tenderly, eyes tearing slightly from all the emotions he’s feeling; it hurts, how much he love the other. He’s caught off guard when Shouta shuffles in closer, a hand on his face that mimics his hand as a thumb caresses his cheek softly. The man leans in close, resting his forehead against Hizashi’s; he can feel the light fluttering of Shouta’s thick lashes against his skin, ticklish but welcomed. Without a moment’s waste, Hizashi cups the other side of his face and pulls him in closer. Their lips meet in the most perfect way, and Hizashi wishes this moment could stay forever.At 25, that’s when they first kiss.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi #erasermic #mha #my hero academia #eraserhead #present mic #maizawa #wirbs #ask