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lovrre · 1 year

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Lost and found~ part 1

Crack baby by mitski ♫

Pre-outbreak Joel miller and post-oubreak Joel miller x Fem reader

Prt2 <<here

Word count: 3k

Warnings: cursing, lots of angst, a little fluffy in the beginning, and probably some other stuff.

Summary: you and Joel begin to plan your future together, but there's a secret you're just not ready to tell him yet, you're pregnant. When You and Joel get separated on outbreak day, you see him again after 20 years but now your secret is all grown up.

Author’s note: this part is really the warm up for part two that's going to get more into the relationship between Joel and his new kid and his kids relationship with Ellie. Also I wrote this all to Crack baby by mitski.

Sunday, September 25th, 2003, 12:15 Am, Austin, Texas

You and Joel sat on the couch, you let your legs sprawl over his lap as you two watched TV. You took a bite of the cookie you stole from the fridge and leaned over to give Joel a bite. “Open,” you say, pressing the cookie to his lips. Joel obeys, opening his mouth and taking a bite before returning his attention to the show. “Hmm, where did you get that,” he asks, gesturing for another bite, you smile, bringing the cookie back to his mouth.

“ It was in the fridge,” you say, laughing at the way he took a second bite. Joel goes to turn the channel and you stop him. “No, I like this one!” You say, gesturing to the little ballerinas on screen, practicing their Plié. “ They're so cute… When me and Nia were kids we wanted to be ballerinas and I mean so, so bad. We would buy tutus with our spare money, and we begged our mom every day for about a year to sign us up for classes” you say, finishing up the last piece of the cookie. “ It was that or a hairdresser”

“Did she ever sign you up?” Joel asks you shake your head, moving a bit closer, so you’re sitting on his lap.“nope, but good thing she didn't if I had become a famous ballerina I would be somewhere dancing instead of with you” you say, leaning over and planting a kiss on his lips.

“What I'm not good enough for a ballerina?” Joel asks, looking up at you with a smile on his face, his lips inches away from yours. “ You are for this one,” you say, giving him a small kiss on his lips. When you finish, Joel readjusts himself on the couch slightly but doesn't move you. “When I was younger I wanted to be a singer,” Joel says, turning to you, not a hit of humor on his face. You hold back your laughter “hmm” you say, pressing your lips into a tight smile, desperately trying to keep your composure. “What’s funny?” Joel asks his face bunching up in confusion “nothing”

~~~~~

An hour later

“JOEL, DON’T!” You say, putting your hands over your pizza, “you already had three” he says, trying to grab at it. “Sarah, are you going to let him do this?” you ask, turning to her for help. “Sorry, this is a couple

quarrel, not my business,” she says, walking out of the kitchen. “ JOEL, STOP, YOUR FAT ASS DOSE NOT NEED ANYMORE,” you scream as he comes over to literally wrestles with you over it. “I'm not giving it to you,” you say with a stern tone. “ I ain't asking,” Joel says, trying to take it from you. You pull your arm far behind you where he can't reach. “I’ll cough on it,” you say, holding it up close to your mouth. “Do it” you do exactly what he says, coughing all over the pizza. Before you can do anything, Joel Is kissing you, he takes advantage of your confusion, and he snatches the pizza right out of your hand and begins eating it, Taking large obnoxious bites.

You watch him disgusted. “you’re disgusting, I literally coughed all over that, I hope you get sick,” you say, still staring at him annoyed. “ After all I’ve done with that mouth, you think I care about a little cough,” he says with a smile, leaning against the sink and taking another bite. You roll your eyes, “why are you so nasty…?” you say, making a face as if you had something unpleasant in your mouth. Joel puts down what’s left of the pizza on the counter before walking toward you. “ You made me this way baby,” he says in a very fake thick country accent, that reminded you a bit of Elvis, you laugh, pushing him out of your personal space. “Don’t do that” you laugh, shaking your head in disapproval.

“ What baby, you don’t like this voice on me?” he says, leaning in for a kiss, Still using the funny accent. “ GET AWAY FROM ME,” you say, pushing his face away, trying to run out of his grasp. Joel follows behind, chasing you through the house, You make it to the living room before Joel grabs you, throwing you over his shoulder. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU” you scream, punching and kicking at his chest. “ Little lady, I gotta get you down to the station,” He says, making his way up the stairs with you over his shoulder. “ You're so weird,” you say, giving up On the fight

You get to the top of the steps and Joel almost trips. You laugh, “c’mon on cowboy, you can do it,” you say, slapping his butt. Joel makes a funny gasping sound and You both break out into silent laughter, trying to be quiet in case Sarah was sleeping. “GOOD NIGHT GUYS!” Sarah yells through her closed bedroom.

“Good night baby girl” Joel replies, still walking to his bedroom, you still over his shoulder. “Good night, Sarah,” you say before Joel opens his bedroom door, kicking it close with his feet once you two are inside.

Sunday, September 25th, 2003

8:32 Am

Joel wakes up in bed, the sun shining through the windows and onto his face. He rolls over, hoping to feel your body next to his, but instead was greeted with the feeling of cold bunched-up sheets. He sits up, rubbing his hand over his face and letting out a sigh. He looks over at the clock. It’s 8:32 he assumed you’ve probably gone home to get ready for work.

Walking down the stairs, he hears laughter coming from the living room. “You’re out!” you yell. Joel turns the corner to see you and Sarah playing what seems to be a makeshift Dance, Dance revolution with arrows made from tape on the floor. “YOU’RE CHEATING OH MY GOD” Sarah yells “no I said left, left, up, down, right, left, you went up twice,” you say, pointing to the arrows as you talk. “ NO, I WENT DOWN!” Sarah says, pointing to the arrow. “Proof?” you ask, a smile spreading across your face,

Sarah pushes you Lightly on Your shoulder and you both laugh, Sarah stops laughing before you, noticing Joel behind you “oh hi dad,” Sarah says. You turn around and see Joel standing in the entranceway with a big smile on his face. “Good morning ”

You walk over to him, leaving a kiss on his cheek before walking to the kitchen. “We made breakfast, well, Sarah made breakfast I made eggs,” you say, pouring a cup of coffee. “That’s probably for the best,” Joel says, sitting down at the table, Sarah rolls her eyes and pulls out a chair, and sits next to him. You made Joel a cup of coffee too, placing it in front of him before sitting down in your chair. “Thanks,” he says before going back to what he was about to say, “You took off from work today?” Joel asks, taking a sip of the coffee you gave him.

“Yeah I wasn’t feeling well, but I work tomorrow, I get off around six, so I’ll stop by, so we can do something” you take a sip of your coffee before continuing. “Tomorrow is the big day, anything particular you want,” you ask smiling into your mug. “This is good, all of us together,” Joel says, smiling at the two of you, his words hang in the air for a second before Sarah speaks. “oh god he’s gone soft,” Sarah says, looking in your direction “I know right? He couldn’t have said cologne or something” you both laughs. Joel rolls his eyes, “remind me not to be honest with you two”.

“Will do” Sarah replies, grabbing her fork to finish her plate from earlier. You hear a dog barking outside, and it reminds you of your own “Oh my god what time is it” you say, jumping up abruptly. Joel looks at his bare arm before remembering his watch is broken. His eyes search for the clock on the wall. “It’s nine o'clock – what’s the issue, I thought you were off today?”

“I am, I have to go home and feed Luna,” you say, walking over to the front door and putting on your shoes. “You can’t stay a little longer,” Sarah asks, making a funny lip pout, “I wish I could honey, but I’ve been here almost a whole two days and totally forgot to ask my neighbor to feed her” Sarah takes a sad bite of eggs. “ I’ll be back tomorrow after you come from school, actually if you call me early enough I’ll drop you off,” you say, finally getting your shoe over your back heel. “ You swear?” Sarah asks, raising an eyebrow,“ I swear” you say, walking back over to kiss her on the head. You stretch over her and leave one on Joel’s as well. “See you, tomorrow babe,” you say before running out the door.

When you’ve been gone a minute, Sarah speaks. “When Are you going to marry her?” Joel damn near choked on his coffee. “What?” Joel asks, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’ve been dating for almost two years, you still don’t live together, and you’re not engaged yet. What are you doing ?” Joel goes silent for a second before speaking. “ I don’t know…things seem good how they are, I don’t wanna mess that up,” he says, getting up from the table to make himself a plate of the now-cold French toast. “ You just might do that if you keep waiting, you better hope she wants to wait around a hundred years for a ring”

“ You talk too much,” Joel says, sitting down at the table with his plate. “ I’m just not saying what you want to hear,” Sarah says, taking another bite of eggs. The door opens, and their heads turn, it’s Tommy. “ Y’all have to start locking this door,” Tommy says, jiggling the handle. “ Hi uncle Tommy, me and y/n made breakfast. There should be a little left if you want some,” Sarah says,

“ I just came to pick up my tools from the garage. I’m not staying long—wait, Joel, can you hand me the cookies wrapped in aluminum foil in the back of the fridge with the sticky note” Joel stays silent for a second before answering. “The chocolate ones?” “Yeah,” Tommy replied, already afraid of where this was going. “The cookies?” Joel asked, preparing his apology, already in his head. “Yeah” Tommy replied

“My bad, me and Y/N ate those” Tommy looks at Joel, slightly worried. “Joel those were edibles” Sarah lets out a laugh “that explains it,” she says, trying to finish chewing her food, so she can speak. “They were running through here like a bunch of kids,” Joel thinks for a second before talking, “Tommy, why the hell did you-“Tommy speed walks out of the kitchen to the garage “We’ll talk about this later!” Joel yells, standing up to put his mug in the sink, “we need to take away his key”.

“It’s not like we lock the door,” Sarah laughs, getting up to put her plate in the sink.

~~~

Monday, September 26th, 2003

7:30 am

Sarah balances the phone in the crook of her shoulder while brushing her teeth “hello, y/n, I’m almost ready you can come ”she says, mostly muffled from the toothbrush. “Ok, I’m on my way right now,” you say and hang up the phone. Sarah does the same, placing it on the side of the sink.

You pull up outside Joel’s and debate going inside, the news you got yesterday making you a little unsure. You honk the horn and Joel comes outside, walking towards the car. He looks good, fresh like he just got out of the shower. You roll down the window, ”hey birthday boy, you look good ” you whistle. “Good morning baby,” Joel says with a wide smile, ducking his head through the window to leave a quick kiss on your lips

“Sarah’s almost finished, she's looking for her shoes,” he says, leaning on the car a bit. “ Can I get in, I wanna ask you something,” he says, moving back a bit, “Yeah, yeah of course you say. Unlocking the car door, Joel walks around and jumps in the passenger seat, he smells really good, probably because he used the cologne you got him last year on his birthday. He leans the seat all the way back, the way he likes to do when you too are having long car conversations. “What’s up,” you ask, a little worried for some reason, watching him look up at you for the seat.

“Do you think I would be a good husband,” Joel says plainly. You instantly relax at the question, you shake your head. “No, you’d be a terrible husband…” you say in a serious tone. “Really?” Joel asks, sitting up. You smile, “Ya, you’re way too thoughtful and kind to caring, wayyyy too good of a father, you would be a horrible husband. Joel's body relaxed and he laughs, “What about me, would I be a good wife?” You ask, the weird feeling of worry creeping back slightly. “ No you’d be a horrible wife, you’re wayyy too beautiful, too kind, I’d love you too much,” he says, laying back down in the seat.

His words hang in the air as you two sit in a moment of comfortable silence. “But if I’m being serious, I think you’d be a great wife” you involuntarily smile at his words

“you’re great with Sarah, you’re understanding, we barely fight. It’s good with you”

“Is this a proposal?” You joke, and Joel goes quiet. “ It could be,” he says, all his attention on you. Your heart feels like it drops for a second, “you wanna get married?” You ask, a little surprised. “ I understand if you ar-,” Joel asks, seconds away from stumbling over his words. “— No, no, no, Joel, I want to marry you,” you say, making it very clear you are serious. “ I just didn’t think you were ready yet, I know you’ve been married before, and I didn’t want to rush you”

“ I rushed into my first marriage, I was young and got married for the wrong reasons,” he says, still looking intently at you. “So you want to marry me?” You say again, shock still running through you. “When?” you question, excitement starting to enter your body. “Whenever, unless you want a big wedding,” Joel asks. “ I don’t have much family you know it’s only me and Nia, most of the seats would be empty,” you say, letting out a dry laugh.

“ Ok then it can be small, sometime this week, maybe this month,” Joel says, without a hint of humor, in his voice. “ Oh my god, you really want to marry me” you laugh, your smile hurting your cheeks. “Yes I do, Y/N” Joel replied, a smile creeping up on his lips. “ Only you would propose like this,” you say, shaking your head. “I wanted to do something romantic, I did, but it just kept me up all night, I was starting to get so Damn impatient I almost called you up Twice last night and proposed right then”. You laugh at his cuteness. “ Well my answer is yes,” you say, leaning over leaving a small sensual kiss on his lips.

The back car door opens, and you both look back to see Tommy plopping down on the seat. “ Oh, Tommy's here…” you say unenthusiastically. “Sarah's still looking for them damn shoes - am I interrupting something?” Tommy asks, looking between the two of you. “I proposed,” Joel said, looking back a Tommy, “you’re fucking with me” you shake your head and Tommy instantly lights up. “CONGRATS BROTHER, I DIDIN’T THINK YOU HAD I’T IN YOU,” he says, patting Joel on the back. “I thought it be a lifetime before he snagged you up,” Tommy says looking at you, “me too,” you say, smiling.

Joel doesn’t say anything else, taking a big gulp of the coffee that was in your cup holder.

“ If we’re being honest, I should be the one getting married, I mean I did know you first, the better Miller brother is right here if you change your Mind,” Tommy says jokingly a hint a truth behind his words. You did know him first an Tommy did have a brief thing for you years ago. “Nah… Tommy I don’t think you’d look good in the dress,” you say, trying very hard not to laugh. “I think he’d look more like a male-order bride,” Joel says, looking at you while putting back down your coffee, “emphasis on the male” you joke as soon as the words leave your lips, and you break out into laughter. “I changed my mind, you two are perfect for each other,” Tommy says, unamused before opening the car door and getting out. “Please Ask Sarah to hurry up, we’re late” you yell at Tommy right before he closes the door behind him.

You watch Sarah run out of the house seconds later, you lean In kissing Joel goodbye. “Love you, see you later,” you say as he gets out of the car. “ love you too,” he replies, ducking his head back into the open window for another kiss. “shit, I almost forgot… I have something to tell you” you shake your head, your courage instantly fleeting “never mind I’ll tell you tonight”.

“ Ok see ya, baby,” Joel says, hitting the car before walking back to the house. Sarah gives her dad a wave before jumping into the passenger seat. “ Girl, what took you so long?” You say, starting the car back up “I couldn’t find my shoes anywhere and when I did, they were in the wash, I tried to blow-dry them, but they're still wet” Sarah says, struggling with her seatbelt. You think for a second before answering. “Look in the back I should have some converses or something back there, I think we’re around the same size.

Sarah climbs over the seat and searches under the passenger side chair. “Found them,” she says before pulling out a pair of shoes and throwing them on. After she’s finished tying them, she climbs back over the seat, putting on her seatbelt.

“ I’m going to fix dad’s watch for his birthday,” Sarah tells you, looking at the passing cars. “ With who's money?” you asked confused, “his” Sarah replies, still looking at the cars. “ How are you going to gift someone something they paid for” Sarah shrugs. “You could have asked me,”

You say quickly looking over at her. “ But it's funnier if he paid for it,” you think for a second before answering. “ It is”

“What did you get him for his birthday” Sarah asks turning to you. you go silent at the realization that the real “gift” was growing inside you. “ It’s a secret” you say kee you eyes on the road

~~~

You drop Sarah off at school and hand her five dollars for lunch. “bring me back one of those muffins from the cafeteria” you yell as she walks towards the school entrance. “Chocolate?” she yells, turning around to walk backward, so she faces you. “Yeah” you reply and she turns around. You watch to make sure she enters the school before driving off.

You get into work late and your manager forces you to work a double. You spend your whole day thinking about what your wedding with Joel would be like. After work, you stopped at home to change into some cuter clothes before going to Joel's house. The News anchor was still going on about a virus, the Same stuff He’d been talking about all day. You lay down for what feels like a second, just trying to relax, the News anchor’s voice slowly fading into the background.

~~~~

Tuesday, September 27th, 2003

2:30 Am

You wake up to the annoying ringing of your phone, your eyes flutter open, and you jump up at the realization that you fell asleep. Your eyes land on your clock on the bedside table that reads 2:30. “Shit, shit, shit” you repeat, frantically searching for your ringing phone under your pillow and on the nightstand, You had slept through Joel's birthday and missed the perfect time to tell him. Frustrated you make your way to the floor to look for your phone. You found it between the nightstand and your bed. Finally, answer the phone.

“Hello?” You say, slightly out of breath.

“Y/N?” Sarah asks, worry coating her voice. “ yeah- you alright sweetheart, you sound scared” you reply, standing up from the floor and sitting on the bed. “Yeah, I woke up and Dad wasn’t here, I was wondering if he was with you, all the channels were off on the TV and I keep hearing helicopters ”. She says, her voice still sounding shaky “No, he’s not, but I can call him, Do you need me to come over?” You ask, already walking towards your bedroom door.

“Can you?” She whispers, you leave your bedroom and walk towards your front door, putting on your shoes. “Yeah, of course, I'm on my way right now, stay in the house and lock the doors”. You say, walking back to your bedroom to get your purse.

“Ok, see you soon” and with that, you hang up the phone and dial Joel’s number, but You only get his voicemail. “ You have reached the voice mail of… “Joel Miller”, please leave a message at the tone”.

“ Hey, baby it's Y/N sorry I couldn't make it tonight. I accidentally passed out as soon as I got home, Sarah just called me looking for you, she sounded really worried so I'm on my way to your house right now, please call me back when you get a chance.”

Tuesday, September 27th, 2003

3:25 Am

“Hello?” You called out, opening the unlocked door, the house is completely empty. You walk halfway up the stairs and called out again. “ Sarah?” No response, so you walk up the stairs, “Joel?” still no response. You Open Sarah's bedroom Door and are greeted by more nothing, you walk further in the room and a muffin on her table next to a birthday card for Joel catches your attention, It's not chocolate, but you can tell it's from Sarah's school, likely the one you asked her for yesterday.

You walk out of her bedroom and into Joel’s, the windows are open, letting in the moonlight. You walk closer to the window, the cold air and the sound of sirens coming through, you could see the whole town up there. Your phone rings in your pocket, and you quickly fumble to answer. “ Y/N?” your body relaxes at the sound of his voice. “Joel?”

“Y/N were all ok, The highways packed were driving past the old movie theater,” Joel says, spitting out his words a mile a minute. Looking out the window, you can see a plane flying very low over the builds near the plaza where the old theater should be. “Joel… where are you again?” you say, fear racing through your body at the thought. “JOEL” He doesn't answer, and your heart starts beating harder in your chest, “JOEL WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU” you scream “where almost out of the plaza meet us about a mile down keep your pho-”

“JOEL! ” you scream, watching the plane seconds away from crashing into town. “SHIT, TOMMY MOVE MOVE MOV-” Joel yells from the other side of the phone, all you hear is a crash as the line goes silent.

“JOEL JOEL! ” you scream, tears running down your face. The silence feels like it’s surrounding you, the last seconds of the call reply in your ear like a recording. You stand completely still staring out the window for what felt like hours in disbelief at what you just saw and heard. When You finally get the courage to move, a blue velvet box catches your eye. It sticks out like a sore thumb on Joel’s messy dresser, A part of You already knew what it was, but your brain told you that you needed to open it. Even though if it was what you thought it was, it would make everything real. You slowly opened the box, your heart beating louder in your ears with each passing second.

It’s an engagement ring, the perfect engagement ring, your engagement ring from Joel. Tears in your eyes, you examine the ring band, on the inside, there’s writing “My Ballerina” Suddenly everything hits you, You let out the most blood cuddling sub as you fall to your knees holding on to the ring box.

Thursday, December 18th,2023

2:12 pm, Jackson, Wyoming

20 years later

Rae bends down, grabbing her book bag off the floor and rummaging through it frantically on the bed. Her best friend sits on a chair in the corner of the room, bouncing a ball off the wall and into his hand. “ What the hell are you looking for,” August says, continuing to bounce the ball off the wall. “My mom wants that damn picture of my dad, I think I put it in my bag somewhere,” Rae says, dumping the contents of the bag out on the bed. “Does she not have another picture?” August asks confused.

“ Yeah somewhere, but she gets in a way about this picture, I rather find it, I don’t feel like hearing her mouth right now,” Rae says picking through all the stuff on the bed. “I mean, does your mom even yell… I’ve never heard her raise her voice” August says, no longer playing with the ball, his attention on Rae’s frantic movements. “ Oh she yells,” Rae says, walking to the closet to look through her coat pocket, she rummages for a second. “Found it,” Rae says, taking the picture out of her coat pocket to examine it before putting it back and sliding on her coat. “Is your mom cooking tonight?” August asks, putting back on his jacket that was laying on your bed. “ probably not, she's in one of her moods today. I'm starting to worry again, she’s so stuck in the Damn past, all she does is talk about him” Rae says, zipping up her coat.

“Your Dad?” August asks, zipping up his jacket, “yeah, I know she loved him, but it's been twenty years now, she has to move on eventually. But in her defense it’s been a lot recently, Tommy coming here, finding out he’s alive and then finding out my dad’s alive… That just made it worse, I hate to say it, but I think it was better when she thought he was dead” Rae says, walking out of the room down the steps, August follows close behind. �� So if I died today, you would stop caring 20 years from now?” August asks, a cocky smile on his face. “ I love that, that's what you gathered from that….” Rae says, continuing down the stairs. “So…would you?” “Most likely” Rae states plainly

“ Wow, and to think I was gonna make you the godmother of my future children,” August says sarcastically, shaking his head side to side. “I wouldn't want to be the godmother of your ugly ass kids anyway,” Rae says, walking into the living room.” Why do my kids have to be ugly?” August asked, slightly offended. “ Because anyone willing to lay with your ass has to be hideous” August doesn’t say anything, just looks at her slightly annoyed.

You’re sitting on the couch in the living room drinking Tea watching Rae and August bicker in the entryway, Rae shoves August before walking over and plopping down next to you. “ I found it,” Rae says, pulling a picture of Joel out of her pocket and handing it to you. “Thank you, baby,” you say, taking a good look at it before putting it down on the coffee table. “Where are you going?” you ask, gesturing to Rae's big coat. “Me and August are going to the dining hall, you want anything?” Rae asks, sitting up from the couch,“ actually, I think I'll go. I should probably get out of the house”. You saying standing up “thank god” Rae whispers under her breath. “What was that?” you ask raising a brow. ”nothing” Rae replies giving you a tightlipped smile.

~~~

You’re in line with Rae getting food, she stays quiet for a while, taking time to think about what she would say. “I was thinking Me, you, and August go hunting tomorrow look for some deer,” Rae says, walking down the line with you. There’s a bit of silence as you consider your reply, “I don't know Depends on how I'm feeling-you want some corn” You ask, holding the spoon towards her plate, “I’m good-mom do you seriously intend to stay in That house doing nothing forever” Rae asks moving farther down the line. “Yes,” you say, letting out a dry laugh

“ Mom, It's not funny,” Rae says, her tone turning serious, stopping completely, so you both are entirely still in line. “I'm starting to worry…nowadays, you don't do anything but mope, It's affecting your health, It's Affecting me it's Affect-” You cut her off “-I hear you, I hear, ok I'll go hunting,” you say knowing that there's not one bone in your body that desires to do that. “ I promise I'll be ok, you'll be ok and my health will be ok” you laugh. “ See, that’s my moma,” Rae says, a smile spreading across her face as she looks at the smile on your own. Your heart warms at the words, and you think to yourself, maybe it might be easier to try to move on for everyone else.

You two walk a little farther down the line, just inches away from the end. “You’re not gonna eat that,” you chuckle, watching Rae pile a heap of diced potatoes on the corner of her plate. “I am,” Rae says matter-of-factly, “ we’ll see” you reply unconvinced.” “Yes, we will see” Rae replies, getting ready to walk to the table, you stop her, placing your hand on her shoulder “wait-can you take my plate I want to see if they have any cups,” you say, handing Rae your plate.

“Sure,” She says, taking the plate and walking towards the table before stopping dead in her tracks, completely frozen in shock, your back facing her you don’t realize, and keeping searching for the cups. “I don’t see any over here, do you know where the extras are?” You ask, but there’s no answer. You stand on your tippy-toes looking over the counter for the cups “Rae?” you call out, but There's Still no reply “Girl I’m talking to you-” You say, turning around to scold Rae but are instantly stunned. Your eyes land on Joel Miller, after 20 years of life without him, you think you must be hallucinating, but you don't wipe your eyes or shake your head in fear that he might disappear. He looks the same but so different at the same time, he’s aged so much since you last time you saw him.

Only a couple of feet separate you two, but it feels like he's miles away. You wanna talk, you want to say something, but your mouth feels dry. Your heart thumps heavily. In Your chest, you can feel every thump and jerk in your body. Suddenly, your legs feel weak like your body is forgetting how to stand. “Joel?” you finally speak, you move a step forward and suddenly grow very dizzy. Before you can do anything to stop it everything goes black.

“ Y/N-” Joel looks like he’s going to rush you to your side, but debates it. Instead watching Rae curiously as she runs up and helps you. She lightly shakes you, gently slapping your face “Mom?” you don't answer, and she puts a finger under your nose to see if you’re breathing. “ She's breathing” Rae says letting out a sigh, relief. “TOMMY CAN YOU HELP ME!” Rae yells, and He comes out of thin air. Ellie comes up from the side of Joel, “ You know her ?” Ellie asks, confused, looking down at the scene. Joel doesn't say anything, the world going quiet around him as he watches Rae With curiosity. Her hair was braided in two French braids, but he could tell it was curly, like Sarahs but also like yours. she had a small button nose like you, but her eyes reminded him of his own. The possibility swarmed through his mind as he watched her.

“ ARE YOU GONNA HELP?” Rae yells at Joel, making him instantly snaps out of it, quickly bending down to help her pick you up. ”Bring her this way!” Tommy yells as Rae and Joel carry you. Tommy leads you guys to an empty house next door, where they place you on the couch. “ Tommy can you get a wet rag please,” Rae says, bending down to move your hair out your face. “ How often does this happen,” Joel says, looking down at you. “Too often,” Rae says, pulling off your shoes and placing them on the floor. “ Is something wrong with her?” Joel asks, worry bubbling in his gut. “We don’t know-thanks” Rae answers, taking the rag from Tommy and placing it on your head.

Joel watches Rae's every move, the resemblance is uncanny. He wonders if it’s just his old mind playing tricks on him, making him see similarities that aren’t really there. “ How old are you?,” Joel asks this question would confirm or deny his beliefs. “ Seventeen” Rae replies, not looking up from you. A part of Joel hopped for a different answer, Tommy looks at Rae confused. She says nothing, giving Tommy a look that tells him to shut up.

“Can you watch her?” Rae asks, looking at Joel “yeah I-” she cuts him off

“-Good, Tommy can I speak to you for a second?” Rae asks, gesturing for Tommy to come with Her into the room down the hall. Rae hurries him into the room, closing the door and lowering her voice before speaking “what the fuck is going on” Rae asks confusion and anger lacing her voice.

Tommy looks like he’s about to speak, but he doesn’t say anything. “ First it was he died with you when the plane crashed, it was hard, but after a while, mom accepted that. But then…you came here, we find out you and him survived minus Sarah ok… she was hurt but still had hope of seeing Him, then you tell her that he’s not coming here for some reason, Now he's here?” Rae says, her words coming out a mile a minute. “ Look I found out around the same time you did, I only found out earlier today. I had no idea he was coming,” Tommy says, trying to calm down your upcoming tangent.

~~~~

Nervous to get close, Joel watches your breath rise and fall from the corner of the room. Your eyes flutter open after a while, and You look around confused, taking the wet rag off your head. Your eyes land on Joel in the corner of the room, and you quickly sit up. You both don’t say anything, waiting for the other to go first. “Hi” you speak first, your voice barely above a whisper. “Hi,” Joel says, awkwardly, walking slightly closer, you really missed the sound of his voice. Your eyes start to blur, your feelings start to overwhelm your body. “I missed you so much” you sob, holding out your arms. Joel is beside you in a second, your arms around him in an embrace, you don't say anything else, crying into his shoulder, at the same time, taking in the smell of him that you missed so much.

“I know, I know” You hear Joel whisper, letting out quite a sob into your shirt. When you finally have the strength to pry yourself from the corner of Joel's shoulder, you look up at him with tear-filled eyes. He looks back at you with the same, you kiss him, savoring the feeling of his lips against yours. Something in the back of your head wondered if maybe he had a wife now or a kid, and you were overstepping by kissing him. But you didn't care, you didn’t care about the repercussions, only that you were with him at this moment.

~~~~

“What about the radio you told me about, he didn’t tell you he was coming on there?” Rae asks, trying to make sense of the situation. Tommy sighs, wiping his face with his hands. “ You know the rules Rae” Rae’s whole demeanor, changes at his word.“Tommy are you fucking kidding me… You didn't tell him I exist, or that my mom was alive because MARIA TOLD YOU TO STAY OFF THE FUCKING RADIO?” Rae says her vision starting to blur. She quickly calms herself down, wiping away the tears that were trying to form from anger. “Do you know how Fucking hard it’s been these last couple of months, MY MOTHER IS A SHELL OF HERSELF TOMMY, she spends every minute of the day thinking about the past, do you know how long it took her to finally accept that you guys were all dead? Just to find out that you’re not dead, but she can't see Joel again”.

Tommy doesn’t say anything, your words making him rethink his previous decisions. “Some fucking uncle you are” Rae mumbles before walking out of the room, leaving Tommy alone with his thoughts.

#joel miller x female reader #pedro pascal #black reader #pedro pascal x black reader #joel the last of us #joel x black reader #joel x y/n #joel miller x fem black reader #joel x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x y/n #the last of us #joel miller

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belphiesgirlfriend · 9 months

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Obey me! Brothers music taste headcanons

——————————————————————————

more like ramblings than headcanons tbh but i had this stuck in my head and needed to get it out, also feel free to send requests for diff headcanons!

Cw’s: none!

Little bit satirical (i over exaggerate sometimes cuz it’s funny) but pretty in character overall i thinkk

——————————————————————————

Lucifer:

• You know this motherfucker listens to classical music and classical music only cuz he’s boring

• Okay but jokes aside i see him listening to like 30’s 40’s 50’s music especially the love songs.

• Like straight up fallout 4 soundtrack music, he’d listen to it while doing paperwork or unwinding

• He’d definitely be really prideful (no duh) about his taste in music, he’d feel all fancy and refined when he tells people

• Type of dude to be like “modern music simply can’t compare to the classics…” shut up grandpa we get it u know bach’s zodiac sign, penis size, and mothers maiden name

• Wants to be different so bad, he’d strictly listen to music from his vintage record player or some shit cause it’s the “most authentic” way to listen, fr acts like a manic pixie dream girl (he’d hit me upside the head if he heard me say that sorry luci🫶)

——————————————————————————

Mammon:

• r&b and spanish music

•but i feel like he’d like 2000s party music from all the clubbing and casinos

• def a weekend listener and like 90’s rap

• but also like i wouldn’t be surprised if he listened to some 90s rock too

• he’d listen 2 sublime or nirvana or local h (i’m projecting on the last one)

• but anyways he’d be a #1 rihanna fan he’d blast her music in his room but then deny liking her💀make it make sense!!

• also he knows her best album is loud CAUSE HE HAS TASTE!!

• also tyler the creator i get the vibe he’d love him

• kali uchis fan too

•ALSO i feel like he had a phase where he listened to juice wrld and was like “these cheating lying females….” after he got his heart broken by a witch YOU CANG TELL ME IM WRONG😭😭 it’s okay though cause he’s embarrassed by it now

• oh childish gambino too duh forgot about him

ALSO LET ME MENTION DINERO IS LITERALLY HIS SONG ITS ACTUALLY HIS

——————————————————————————

Levi:

• this one’s gonna be real fucking short IM SORRYYY

• he listens to anime openings and game soundtracks strictly

• that’s literally all i can think of dude

• he’d be like “i don’t have time for normie music…”

• his room is literally that old caramelldansen meme from 2019/2020

——————————————————————————

Satan:

• this one was harder for me to pinpoint

• first instinct would be classical music but it’s canon he likes ska music too so 🤷‍♀️

• i really do feel like he’d listen to all types of music, like a true jack of all traits, if he likes it he likes it so his playlist is allllll over the place

• for some reason i get a vibe he’d really like 80s music in particular though

• the song that pops into my head is who can it be now? by men at work idk why

• maybe even older music i feel like he’d like sam cooke

• OH both him and belphie would like mazzy star and fiona apple idk why but they would

——————————————————————————

Asmo:

• okay crucify me for this one but…mitski I JUSG FEEL LIKE HE WOULD

• but i also see him loving lady gaga a lot cuz he has taste

•omg he’d listen to old katy perry too

•but yea also probably lil nas x he’d have a celeb crush on him

• oh tyler the creator too with his gay ass, him and mammon both love him, they def have done a duet to see u again

• he’d be a barb probably defend nicki too😭

• and as much as it pains me to say it, he’d fucking listen to ayesha erotica and be like “this is so good!!!”, hed post a devilgram story with one of her songs and then get cancelled on twitter

• “I made a severe and continuous lapse of judgement…” and then did the same thing a week later

——————————————————————————

Beel:

• type of guy when you ask him what music he listens to he goes “idk i don’t really listen to music”

• he legitimately looks up “hype playlist” on youtube to work out and that’s the extent of it

• really can’t see him being a big music guy

• if u invited him to a concert or something he’d go though for food

•he’d give you a piggy back ride so u can see better

• tbh if u were to put on music he would not care much no matter how good/bad it is

• you could walk in on him working out and literally listening 2 cbat or some shit

• HE LITERALLY IS CBAT GUY😭 he’d be like “i always use this song when i’m working out..

——————————————————————————

Belphie:

• emo fucker

• i feel like he’d like emo/ 90s rock ( but more “rockish” than mammons 90’s rock)

• but he’d also love any more relaxing music with softer vocals

• he’d be a deftones fan I KNOW GHATS FUCKING BASIC AND UR ROLLING UR EYES BUT LISTEN

• they have the combination of 90s rock but also more soothing calming vocals, theyd literally b perfect

• and for that reason his favorite albums r koi no yokan and saturday night wrist, also their self titled,

• would call mammon a poser for his music taste “nirvana isn’t even *real* rock idiot🙄”

• but nah, also like i said in satans fiona apple and mazzy star fan

• he’d suck so bad though he’d go on twitter and be like, “if you like deftones ur a poser” (while being their number 1 fan, fucking brat) then turn off his phone and take a nap for the funny

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the-banana-0verlord · 8 hours

Text

"Do you hear the rain fall down?..."

Intro

Hello, my name is Lilian and you've tumbled across my blog! I am a writer and a digital artist in my free time. I write and draw mainly mainly for the game Twisted Wonderland, but I also engage in a few other fandoms. I make moodboards, request rules below.

!! 🍉This blogs stands with Palestine🍉!!

What I write about:

🌊My OCs (most of the time)

🌊X readers (this used to be what i did primarily, but it's rare to see me do it these days. I have a lot in my masterlist though)

List of links

Masterlist

OC masterlist

Dracula X F!Reader(on quotev)

moots list (not up to date)

Lilian/Mallilian AUs masterlist

Where to find me on various platforms

My sideblogs

@the-banana-0verlord-reblogs -- reblogs

@the-lord-of-malevolence -- Malleus RP blog (inactive)

@the-king-of-thorns -- Overblot Malleus RP blog (soon to be inactive)

@bestutenacharactertournament -- tournament for the best Revolutionary Girl Utena character

@thoughts-of-an-nrc-student -- RP blog pretending Twisted Wonderland is real

@the-sunflower-prefect -- RP blog for my yuusona, Lilian

Tags

#bananawrites -- for writing

#bananadoodles -- for art

#theoverlordmonologues -- for anything random

#mallilian -- self-ship tag with Malleus

#bananareblogs -- reblogs

#banana's moots -- my mutuals <3

#bananaanswersasks -- for asks

Fandoms

I engage in currently:

🌊Twisted Wonderland

🌊Revolutionary Girl Utena

🌊Nevermore(webtoon)

🌊Obey Me! Shall we date(though I have not played much)

🌊Genshin impact

🌊Multiple reincarnation webtoons on both tapas and webtoon

🌊Minecraft

🌊Link Click

🌊The Truly Devious Series

I know of but no longer engage in:

🌊Demon slayer

🌊My Hero Academia

🌊Miraculous Ladybug

🌊Percy Jackson

🌊Keepers of the lost cities

🌊How to train your dragon and the big four

🌊The Owl house

🌊Marvel

🌊My little pony

🌊Fnaf

🌊Hamilton

🌊Warrior cats

🌊Wings of Fire

🌊Avatar: the last airbender

🌊Heathers

🌊Six: the musical

Moodboards

You can request moodboards! I make them in a format of 3 x 3 pics. I can make moodboards based on an OC, a character, a vibe, a ship, a self-ship, etc. If the character is unknown to me(like not from a fandom listed above or an oc), please provide me a picture of the character.

About me

🌊I'm 15 (so a minor! No NSFW on this blog!!!)

🌊My pronouns are She/Her but I'm fine with They/Them. I'm asexual and it's blurry if I'm aromantic or biromantic.

🌊My first language is french and I am from Quebec, in Canada.

🌊My hobby other than those mentionned above is making puzzles.

🌊I like crime series and books

🌊My favorite aesthetics are Dark Academia and Cottagecore

🌊I like Mitski, Mother Mother and Marina

Feel free to send me asks if you want to get to know me! You can ask to be my mutual if you want, but please don't be overbearing.

#bananareblogs #theoverlordmonologues #banana's moots #twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #mallilian #bananawrites #bananadoodles #bananaanswersasks #pinned post #intro post

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chxsh1r3 · 2 years

Text

Introduction:

My name is Aurelius/Achlys!

I'm not comfortable revealing my age yet but I probably will reveal my age sooner or later.

I'm unlabeled for now(I haven't find out what my gender is) so please don't misgender me or refer to me as a girl. I'm fine with being referred to/called as a boy.

I use any pronouns, but I prefer he/they!

I'm an atheist so please don't bring up anything about religion.

My birthday is March 26th.

I'm an infp.

I'm an aries. ♈

I do witchcraft!

I'm demiromantic and pansexual.

I change my personality depending on who I'm talking to.

I love Riddle Rosehearts! I love him sm more than myself. ☹️☹️

I'm Filipino!! 🇵🇭

English isn't my first language so kindly point it out for me if I made a mistake when writing/typing, even though I know I'm better in English than Tagalog.

My favorite holidays are Halloween, Valentine's day and Christmas. (I like Christmas because here in Philippines, we have really bright and pretty light decorations and when it's night it's really really pretty!!)

Fandoms I'm in:

Twisted Wonderland

Obey Me!

Alice in wonderland(if it even has a fandom)

Ever after high

Stranger Things

Creepypasta

Toilet bound Hanako-kun

Black Clover

Little Witch Academia

Fran Bow

Characters I kin:

Fischl (Genshin Impact)

Yuri (Doki Doki Literature Club)

Aether (Genshin Impact)

Albedo (Genshin Impact)

Venti (Genshin Impact)

Zhongli (Genshin Impact)

Gordon Agrippa (Black Clover)

C.A. Cupid (Ever After High)

Idia Shroud (Twisted Wonderland)

Favorite Bands/Singers:

Marina And The Diamonds

Mother Mother

Taylor Swift

Melanie Martinez

Metallica

Jack Stauber

Mitski

Favorite Songs:

Shakira (ft. Rihanna) - Can't remember to forget you

Tikkle me - Blow my brains out

Taylor Swift - Paper rings

Marina and the diamonds - Primadonna Girl

Tears for Fears - Everybody wants to rule the world

Marina And The Diamonds - Bubblegum bitch

Le Tigre - Deceptacon

Mother Mother - Burning pile

Mother Mother - Arms Tonite

Mother Mother - Verbatim

Mother Mother - Oh Ana

Jack Stauber - Baby Hotline

Mac Demarco - Chamber of reflection

Jack Stauber - Choice

Jack Stauber - Oh Klahoma

Cuco - Lover is a day

Metallica - Master of puppets

Slipknot - Custer

HATEBREED - Destroy everything

You right x Luxurious

Marina And The Diamonds - How to be a heartbreaker

Tv Girl - Cigarettes out the window

Mild High Club - Homage

Marina And The Diamonds - Problems

Melanie Martinez - Crybaby

Marina And The Diamonds - Oh No!

Mitski - Francis forever

Dr. Dog - Where'd all the time go?

Mitski - Goodbye, my danish sweetheart

I have sooo many favorite songs I even forgot to add some! I'll edit this and I'll add the ones I forgot. I did this at 2:57 am and finished this at 3:51 am

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xrosegorex · 1 year

Text

General info-

Hi!! I'm Tobi. I'm 18 and I use they/he pronouns.

DNI if you're racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, a proshipper, the whole shebang.

My AO3 is here- I write longer fics. I prefer to write on my AO3.

And here's the masterlist (for some reason, my twst writing is gone, but I'll fix it eventually lmao);

𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴

Sick Day || 𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘶𝘴 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘢

"Draw me!" || epel felmier

Assurance || 𝘭𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢 𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘦

𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴

NRC listening to Mitski

𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴

SAGAU but trauma jokes

𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 (𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞)

Thin Ice part one and part two (fairy-tale-writer) (twst)

I can sit here? Deadass? (writingseaslugs) (twst)

Sway me (after-witch) (death note)

Protective Charms (dotster001) (twst)

Eye of the Storm part one, part two, and part three (faebaex) (twst)

Platonic yandere Chrollo x autistic reader, soulmate au part one, 1.5, two, three, four, and five (asexual-abomination) (hxh)

Lilia and Silver train MC as a knight (floral-poisons) (twst)

Dad!lilia w/ mc (willowwhispersspeakeasy) (twst)

Why are you in my apartment? II (shiny-jr) (twst)

Your tears (alexisomnias) (twst)

Lilia tells y/n a bedtime story (wolken-himmel) (twst)

Vitamin C (walliedarling) (welcome home)

Platonic yandere phantom troupe x autistic reader soulmate au part one (asexual-abomination) (hxh)

You called? (beels-burger-babe) (obey me)

She's the one I'm running with (cherikolya) (bsd)

Guild harem ?? (spacexseven) (bsd)

Withdrawals (mangthemango) (genshin)

Over the Hills (postmoe) (genshin)

Salvation (theabyss) (genshin)

Such a kind god, such a cruel god (chocoenvy) (genshin)

Comfort (sunny-fox) (hsr)

Rooftop (ephemerallovesong) (hsr)

Death seeking creator (toomanyideasandfandoms) (genshin)

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betta-phish · 2 years

Text

hey i’m Kota and I like pixels 😟😩💕

———————————————————

top 3 favorites 💅: (fandoms I post most)

Good Boy Audios: Zed, Devlin, Odin

Redacted Audio: Lasko, Sam, Milo

Obey Me!: Mammon, Solomon, Leviathan

Fandoms that show up sometimes 🤭:

Kaiju No. 8: Hoshina, Ichikawa, Narumi

Sasaki to Miyano: Hanzawa, Sasaki, Tashiro

The Mechanisms: I am so normal about Jonny D’Ville I swear, Gunpowder Tim, Nastya

(keeping this here so y’all know my batshit insane taste in fictional characters)

General fandom list!(that I may or may not post about)

Obey Me! Shall We Date?

Good Boy Audios

Redacted Audios

YuuriVoice (so slight to the point idk if it counts 😭)

The Mechanisms

Sasaki to Miyano + Hirano to Kagiura

Kaiju No. 8

Naruto (this bitch NEEDS to be bolded I am so not normal about Naruto its crazy)

Solarballs

Hazbin + Helluva

Spy x Family

Danganronpa

Demon Slayer

Hamilton (haven’t interacted with it in years but it is there and never leaving)

Haikyuu

Music artists that make my neurodivergent brain more divergent 😋

The Mechanisms (can you tell I like the mechanisms-)

The Amazing Devil

Spence Hood

Jack Conte

Fish in a Birdcage

Set It Off

Bring Me The Horizon

Pierce The Veil

Eminem

Mitski

Odetari

Crystal Castles

Tally Hall (+ Miracle Musical)

bo en

Penelope Scott

Hiiragi Kirai

Syudou

Yuu Miyashita

Mafumafu

Kikuo (+KikuoHana)

Pepoyo

TOPHAMHAT-KYO

Kenshi Yonezu

Creepy Nuts

R Sound Design

millennium parade

IC3PEAK

AURORA

100 gecs (shut.)

Sub Urban

MARINA

Mother Mother

Bear Ghost

Alexander Rybak

I’m stopping here ‘cause I could go on forever I love music sm ekfkfkekmd

#it’s so hard to pick just three for some of these 😭#delulu #omg I actually updated it!! 🤯#love how my type goes from lasko and zed to odin and jonny 💀#guys!!!omgiupdateditagain!!!! 2-28-24 😱😱

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hutaosgraveyard · 2 years

Text

What I write:

☕️=requesting it is open

🕰=requesting it is closed

•Headcanons☕️

•matchups☕️

•SMAU’S🕰

I might write other things if someone requests it, but please keep in mind I’m writing for fun so if it isn’t something listed it here I might not write it. Also SMAU’s take up a lot of time so I will only do a few at a time! I will not be writing NSFW though.

Fandoms I write for:

•BSD

•Genshin

•Assassination Classroom

•Persona 5

•AOT (I can’t guarantee characters from this will not be a little out of character though)

• Probably honkai star rail once it comes out

•obey me

•mystic messenger

•soul eater

•code geass

•madoka magica

There are probably other fandoms I’m forgetting. Feel free to request others but keep in mind I might not write it. There are also characters from the listed fandoms that I either don’t want to write because I either really dislike them (Mori.) or don’t think I could write them well.

Things to keep in mind when requesting:

•I am a lazy person who has school and other responsibilities irl, So it might take time for me to get to your request.

•I also do this for fun and am not getting paid for it, so If I get a request that doesn’t seem enjoyable to write, I may not write it. It’s nothing against you, I just don’t see the point in writing something I wouldn’t enjoy writing.

•my inbox is open so please submit requests there!

About me:

I am an ENFP 8w7! I play Genshin and am AR 55. If you want to co-op And are in a NA server, I would love to. If you want to talk to me on discord, dm me and ask! I’ll be happy to add you. I listen to artists like mitski, Lana, marina, nirvana, Rolling Stones, etc. I am currently trying to collect all the BSD manga, it is a bit difficult though since I’m broke. I’m an avid harbinger fan, especially for Scaramouche. Also I can’t stop buying succulents help.

Masterlist-

“Your beauty never ever scared me”

This is a Scaramouche x GN!Reader SMAU that is currently on going, and it’s as of now my priority. It’s a childhood friends to lover fic. Out of all my works, this is what I’d most appreciate being checked out.

“A second chance”

Scaramouche x GN!Reader, spoilers for 3.3 archon quest. You’re a scholar in Sumeru, plagued by the the faint memory of someone, someone you cared for deeply. But you couldn’t remember who. You soon meet a wandering eccentric, who seems vaguely familiar to you, but you just couldn’t figure out how.

This is a story that will have multiple chapters, and involves the reader having constant deja vu with Scara. He remembers the reader, but the reader can’t seem to remember him.

“I used to hear a simple song, that was until you came along”

An Albedo x GN!Reader SMAU. It’s ongoing as well, but it’s not my priority. It’s friends to lovers and updates will be less frequent than the Scaramouche SMAU.

“Our little banter”

A short Dottore x GN!Reader fic. Purely fluff with some implications at the end.

Moving in with Dazai headcanons

A short list of headcanons, that just as the title describes, are what I’d think moving in with Dazai would be like. Fair warning this contains BSD spoilers.

Genshin men relationship headcanons

Contains relationship headcanons for Kazuha, Albedo, Xiao and Childe.

#assassination classroom #bsd #bungo stray dogs #Genshin #genshin impact #fanfic #soul eater #aot #attack on titan #persona 5 #persona #obey me #mystic messenger

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wretchedjukebox · 4 months

Text

『do you know i could break beneath the weight...』

juke. 21. they/them.

my writing.

mdni. ageless blogs dni. multifandom. nsfw [tagged with #juke after dark].

masterlist [wip]. fandoms [wip].

requests: open

commissions: open

fun facts about me.

☼ i am in college and pursuing an english degree. i'd like to be a published author some day :]

☼ i like a lot of fandoms, currently really into obey me right now.

☼ i used to have a really popular imagines blog when i was 14. i'm now trying to relearn how tumblr works lol.

☼ i like all kinds of music but especially hozier and mitski

☼ i shamelessly love x readers and will predominantly write it for any fandom works.

☼ i love to crochet and i have a small business where i sell crochet items and take commissions in that regard.

『...of the goodness, love, i still carry for you.』

#about me #juke rambles #pinned post #blog intro

0 notes

siouxxiie · 1 year

Text

𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗙𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠𝗦 𝗜𝗠 𝗜𝗡

Genshin Impact, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Bungo Stray Dogs, Twisted Wonderland, bang dream, your turn to die, Omori, Jojos bizarre adventure, danganronpa, ensemble stars, kikuo, project senkai: colorful stage, sk8, akudama drive, obey me, mystic messenger, tgcf, tear of themis, nijisanji, saiki k, mitski, amphibia, the owl house, ddlc, Sally face, twice/stray kids, txt/ blackpink/bts/ red velvet etc, stranger things, hunter x Hunter, steven universe, heartstopper, toilet bound hanako kun, ouran Highschool host club, honkai impact 3rd, breaking bad, fruit basket, your lie in April, weathering with you, Tokyo revengers, jujutsu Kaisen, bagonetta, identity V, chainsaw man, wotakoi: love is hard for otaku, hympic, cookie run kingdom, cookie run kingdom oven break, Vshojo, luxiem, magical girl: madoka, devil man crybaby, demon slayer, naoki urasawas monster, violet ever garden, assassination classroom, serial experiment lain, nana, welcome to demon school! Iruma kun, eddsworld, five nights at freddys: security breach, battle for B.F.D.I, battle for dream island, island of lustrous, noctyx + more

#[ ᯽ ] polish anon post

0 notes

tartagluvr · 3 years

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the demon brothers mitski songs

i guess this is considered a song fic? i just related some of my favorite mitski songs to the brothers the best i could. if you have any songs i missed or side characters you would like me to interpret please ask me!! i really enjoy writing based on music, it comforts me and helps me heal. some parts are longer and i apologize for that <3

warnings: angst but if you squint really hard and lay upside down at 2 am chanting in latin there might be fluff. mentions of chp16 in the twins parts

word count: 6k

'undateables' here!

lucifer: first love / late spring

so please hurry leave me / i can't breathe / please don't say you love me / 胸がはち切れそうで (my heart seems like its going to burst)

lucifer has not always known pride.

humility used to be familiar to his body, like a perfectly fitting glove. he had never been in a state of thinking he were better than everyone else, for his sin had not broken him yet.

and your presence somehow, someway, brought back the man he used to be.

work hours were slipping from his hands as if sand while he focused on you, spent time with you. lucifer had even once skipped a rad council meeting just to make sure your cold wasn't going to kill you.

but he knew this was a dangerous game. lucifer was supposed to be the most reliable, hard working demon serving under his dear lord diavolo. there was never room for anyone in his heart except himself and maybe on occasion, his brothers.

you, his dearest human, have wormed your way into that small confined space inside him. and that terrifies lucifer greatly.

your cheerfulness, your drive to protect the ones you love, your angel like smile.

from the first time he felt himself slipping closer to you, lucifer had started pulling back, though you always seemed to close the distance somehow. he is fully aware that he could potentially be fooling you, playing along and eventually hurting your feelings. the ones he is supposed to protect with his life.

lucifer knew very well what he was getting into could never be, but in a desperate attempt to feel like he once was again, he lets you break him down. he lets you push his walls to the sides, clear up the path, and walk straight into his arms.

but the only issue was, you faced him one normal day with that beautiful smile across your face. and said, "i love you".

lucifer has never heard someone say those three words and actually mean it whole heartedly. but as soon as the words left your lips, he knew you were serious. and lucifer could not bring himself to say it back.

it feels as if all the oxygen in the devildom has been vacuumed out. his chest aches, his eyes can't seem to get enough moisture. all at once the gravity of your relationship has washed him clean, and then drowned him in his own filth.

but with a mask of his usual self, lucifer plays the part and quickly moves to excuse himself.

he does not let himself react until he is alone in the underground chamber where he keeps cerberus.

"oh dear," he whispers as his long fingers twist and scratch at his dog's ears. "i don't think i can say those words."

mammon: i will

and while you sleep / i'll be scared / so by the time you wake / i'll be brave / i'll be brave

mammon has never in his life felt what it truly is to deeply and utterly fall in love. that was, until you stepped foot in his home territory.

getting to know you was a breeze, considering how lively and upbeat the boy usually is. people are always attracted to that kind of personality.

and you were so snugly fit into his heart at this point he was starting to get anxious. what if you didn't like him? what if you were just pretending and its all one big joke planned by his brothers? they've done far worse with 'pranks' before.

often when he is having concerns about your relationship/friendship he will ask you in the dead of the night to come over for a 'sleepover'.

what he really gets from these moments is reassurance. your presence, your polite and always kind replies when he asks you to join him in his room. and when you are drifting off slowly in his bed you will feel the weight of something soft being placed over your body. there is faint murmuring but you do not try to make it out.

mammon watches you as you fall asleep. he is embarrassed and terrified you will catch him- but he needs to see you are alive and sleeping well before he can even breathe.

no one ever stopped to wonder if mammon, or rather the shell of himself he is now, could fully handle being a humans protector in the devildom.

lucifer would nag at him constantly (as would all the other brothers too) that he was being reckless, wasn't taking his job seriously, blah blah. you take any remarks they spew at mammon in one ear and out the other, knowing they deep down don't mean their words. that they do actually care for mammon.

but that doesn't mean mammon isn't fucking terrified over keeping you safe.

so while you sleep, he will be there. scared, frightened as if a child during a thunderstorm. but but the time you wake, mammon will be brave.

mammon will put on his million dollar smile, and ask how you slept. and he will lie when you ask him the same.

leviathan: a burning hill

and i am the fire / and i am the forest / and i am a witness watching it / i stand in a valley watching it / and you're not there at all

a sidenote before this one, i really love these lyrics. a lot of people don't fully know the meaning of them, so do let me explain first!

"and i am the fire" mitski is acknowledging she is the problem, she is the fire burning and destroying everything. "and i am the forest" not only is she the one destroying the forest, she is the forest. she is only hurting herself. "and i am a witness watching it" mitski is a bystander watching her mind destroy itself, and she does nothing about it. she is watching as she turns her entire life upside down. "and you're not there at all" mitski does not have a support system. there is no one there to save her from herself.

leviathan may as well be the prince of anxiety in the devildom. his envy feeds into the anxiety, and fuels the fire inside his heart. the two emotions work together in harsh ways to cause chaos in his life.

sometimes, being with you during an anxiety attack is helpful. sometimes, it only makes things worse.

how is he supposed to be your hero protagonist when you're in need if he can't even take care of himself?

asmodeus had been nagging him too much about hygiene, lucifer had been nagging him too much about grades.

now don't get me wrong, leviathan is an extremely smart demon. he's no satan, but he is the best from home student you will ever see. everything he does is at his own pace, and he can excell more than if he were in a classroom.

though this slump he had found himself in for the last month was taking a huge toll on his mental health. he stopped asking the brothers to join him for movie nights, stopped inviting you over for gaming. maybe if he can push you away before you decide to leave on your own, it will be less painful. because it will be his decision, he would have control.

so when you come knocking and singing the password outside his door, he feels like bursting into tears. he could pretend he isn't in his room, but the game he was only half heartedly playing has the volume up and playing outloud.

he lets you come inside. even though his mind is screaming at him to make you leave.

"i noticed you haven't been staying at meals that long for a while. are you feeling okay?"

you watch as leviathan shrugs his shoulders. something is definitely wrong, but you will not know what until he tells you. sometimes thats just how it is with him, he is too good at hiding everything away.

"would playing together cheer you up? what were you playing..." your voice trails off as you skip over to his computer, leaning over his shoulder. the screen says 'game over', something you have never seen on leviathans computer ever before. now more than before you know something is very off. you take a deep breath before deciding what to say next.

"do you want some of my meds? i can go run and grab them-"

"no."

leviathan cuts you off. a few times before when he hit a slump, you had shared some of your human world mood stabilizers with him. it seemed to greatly help with the anxiety and depression. but leviathan was basically refusing help at this point.

you removed your arms from around his shoulders, spinning him by the armrests to face you. you tried to read his eyes, but it seems they were speaking a foreign language today.

"do you want to be alone? hm?"

its a gentle question, your voice barely above a whisper.

leviathan desperately wants to say no. he wants to hold you so tight you can't breathe. to be able to cry in front of you without being embarrassed. he wants nothing more than for you to save him the way he saves you.

leviathan says yes.

you can't save people who don't want to be saved.

leviathan is lighting a match to himself. he is watching as the fire trails up his body, unmoving. he does not fan out the fire. rather he lets it burn bright, all alone in his room. his brain is on fire and he is letting it consume him.

he will be a casualty to only himself, never to you. because he wants more than anything for you to never know of how weak he truly is.

satan: i don't smoke

so if you need to be mean / be mean to me / i can take it and put it inside of me / if your hands need to break more than trinkets in your room / you can lean on my arm / as you break my heart

after only being in the devildom for two months, you had stopped or intervened in at least ten fights between lucifer and satan. the two just could not get along it seemed, not even for your sake.

satan does not know or have any understanding of being empathetic, something you know like the back of your hand. seeing the two brothers threaten to kill each other takes a great toll on your mental health.

and yet, after every big fight you find yourself walking to satans room. knocking, waiting on a response. you've entered so many times that just from your knock satan can tell it is you and will usually let you in. today was different for some reason.

when you raised your fist to knock, the sound of shattering glass filled your ears. without even bothering to knock you rushed inside, to see if satan was okay.

satan was in fact, not okay.

in his anger and frustration he had been using basic dark magic to cause his many books to rise into the air, and throw themselves across the room. the crash was the sound of a book catapulting through his window. today was going to be hard to work through. but you were good at tough fights.

"satan, please put the books down so i can come in further," your voice was gentle, calm and kept stable. you didn't fear satan, no. but you feared what his sin would sometimes turn him into.

he made no move to let the books down, throwing his hands into his hair and sighing loudly. so you tried again.

"if you can put the books down we could talk, yea? is that okay?"

in the blink of an eye one of the airborne books collided with your chest, the sheer force knocking you back a few steps. it hurt, your chest stung like you had just been slapped, but you showed no sign of pain. if satan had seen you in pain that he somehow caused, he may never let you close again. and you desperately wanted to be around him, needed him to be close.

"you don't scare me. you know that."

"i should. you should be so afraid you run and never come back. i'll only hurt you. you know that."

satans words were a bit harsh, but at the same time- this wasn't just satan. this was wrath. and wrath was not kind to you like satan was. being able to differentiate the two makes everything way easier.

"wrath, put the books down. that is a command."

slowly but surely, the books fell to the floor with dry thuds resonating in the room. satan wrath looked at you as if he wanted to eat you alive.

before he could speak again, you spun on your heels and threw yourself against the door. you knew the brothers were going to come running in, thinking wrath had hurt you from the noises in the room. and just as you had thought, as you clicked the lock down, the brothers began yelling through the door and knocking loudly.

"i'm fine, please let me be alone with him. you're only going to make it worse."

lucifer demanded furiously for you to come out or there would be consequences. mammon was yelling that he can protect you and to just unlock the door. in the back, as you focused on the voices, beelzebub began chanting what you knew to be a locking or unlocking spell. you had seen him use it many times when lucifer would lock up the fridge.

quickly you turned to face wrath again. your back pressed against the door, feeling all the brothers beating against your back.

"wrath, cast something on the door to make it unable to open. like that binding spell we learned last week in spells and potions."

wrath let out another highly annoyed sigh, but you felt the door become more stabalized behind your body.

"thank you. can i please talk to satan?"

no response. the tension in the room was nearly tangible. as if you could reach out into the air and feel his glare cut through your fingers.

slowly you inched closer and closer, tutting and scolding gently each time the books began to rise again. having a pact with him at a time like this definitely is handy. but you don't want to command wrath to just leave, that will solve nothing. that will only cause wrath to come back stronger the next time he shows himself.

"do you still want to destroy something?" your words delicate. walking a fine line.

wrath didn't speak, nodding his head slightly. that was enough of a response for you, as you now stood only a mere foot infront of him.

the brothers were still screaming from the other side of the door, you could hear it all the way across the room. for a second you almost felt bad. but this was something only you could do.

with a deep breath, you from memory began reciting a protection spell. this will keep you safe from any physical or magical harm for at most three hours. it would last longer if you had practiced more and focused more energy into it, but again, not important right now.

"if you need to be mean, be mean to me. i'll be fine. wrath or satan."

unfortunately wrath did not hesitate to push satan down even further into the abyss. his hands raised up, palms to the ceiling as the tattered books rose once more.

"go for it. let it out on me. i'm not leaving."

asmodeus: francis forever

i don't need the world to see / that i've been the best i can be / but i don't think i could stand to be / where you don't see me

you never expected asmodeus, the prince of lust, to be quite self critical and concious.

beautiful, worthy of love, perfect as he is. that is how you would describe the man, not the harsh words he thinks of himself. you would expect this kind of anxiety from leviathan, but not asmodeus.

you quickly come to learn that demons can have bad days too.

today was supposed to be a fun self indulgent shopping day, you taking a huge chunk of your pay from hell's kitchen to buy fancy clothes. fashion here in the devildom was extremely different from the human world, and you found yourself quite enjoying it. the fabrics were so colorful and patterned, the designs so elegant and almost royal.

asmodeus seemed like his normal self for the first part of the shopping spree, pulling you from rack to rack and making you try on what he finds. only when he would shove you into a dressing room and go in his own would he falter.

the mirror is a normal one, plainly sat infront of him on the wall. but to asmodeus, it might as well be a clown mirror with how distorted he is seeing himself. his arms look a litte bigger than normal, his shorts don't hug him the way they should. not only is he upset, he is afraid.

afraid that the world is seeing this distorted version of himself. afraid you are seeing it too.

when you come out of your dressing room with a beatiful summery outfit on and knock on his door, he yelps from inside. he was so lost in self destructive thoughts that he jumped at your knocking. too ashamed to go back out like this, he quickly changed into one of the outfits he had grabbed from the rack. its a light blue blouse with some vintage looking ruffles. the shorts he quickly put on are light grey, with a cute belt going around the waist. there were some white socks with the same grey striping the tops, so he shuffled into those as well and opened the door without seeing the mirrors reflection.

(more so, he didn't want to.)

"oh my lord, asmodeus you look so good in that blue! which aisle was that on?"

asmodeus goes into his fake cheerfulness quickly, hoping you don't notice his grin faltering when he 'gives you a twirl'. you look so absolutely stunning in the outfit you had on, the colors and flow making you more beautiful than ever. its as if this outfit were made for you- and asmodeus selfishly feels jealous.

"i think i want to try on some more, meet me back here when you're ready!"

and with that he all but jumps back behind his dressing room door, thankful for the sliver of privacy. he can't let you see him like this- you will think he is weak. that he is broken and everything about him is fake.

"hey asmodeus- i accidentally grabbed a size too big in this skirt. would you go grab another one? pleeeaaasee?" your giddy and laugh filled voice fills his ears from through the thin walls. he sighs in again, jealousy, and says he will come right back with it.

when he returns eventually, you open the door peeking out to grab it. sure asmodeus has seen you half naked many many times, but you don't want other shoppers to see as well. once he hands you the garment you thank him with a quick kiss to his cheek. and as the door is closing, he hears you say that 'i wish i looked as good as you do right now!'

it should be comforting, it should make him feel slightly relieved that you still think of him highly. i mean, for devils sake- half of the items in this outlet are designs he made himself.

so why does he feel so...ugly?

no, the world cannot see him like this. not after they have seen all of his best looks so far. they will remove all his designs and work from stores if he doesn't pull it together and make himself beautiful once again.

so after you try on all your outfits and purchase the ones you like, you two head home; asmodeus is empty handed.

not even when you hand him the most beautiful necklace and say its a gift does he have a real smile.

fake it till you make it, he decides. he will not let you ever see him again if this keeps up. no one will ever see his face again.

beelzebub: once more to see you

then i wouldn't have to scream your name / atop every roof in the city of my heart / if i could see you / once more to see you

just as our big buff demon boy is constantly hungry for food, he is constantly hungry for you.

your smile, your laugh, your presence next to him.

its reminiscent of when lilith were alive, and he had that one comforting shoulder to always slump against. sure he still has belphegor, and his other five brothers, but his bond with lilith was...different. it was as if she was his protector, his lifeline when he needed consolation.

he had never been able to fill the lilith sized hole in his stomach until the day you walked (more like stumbled) into his life.

he now has not just a friend- a best friend, a comfort person, a workout buddy, a midnight snack bring along.

most of all- he now has a lover.

such a delicate, fragile and human shaped lover. one that has promised to never let him suffer alone. but things have been slipping since the day belphegor was broken out of the attic.

you stopped wanting to work out (actually, just with him in particular), and you stopped saying yes to you twos adventures around town to eat everything possible. it was painfully obvious to everyone involved that since he was so close with your ...killer, you kept a distance out of fear and slight annoyance.

fear that it could happen again and beelzebub would protect his twin; annoyance that beelzebub forgave him so quickly for literally taking your life. to you, this was not a matter of anyone forgiving belphegor but you. it just wasn't fair that everyone immediately forgave him when he said sorry, when they all found out you were a descendant of lilith.

so rightfully, you kept your distance. especially with beelzebub.

deep down you were aware it would eat beelzebub alive to not be able to hold you as he used to. but your state of mind and peace mattered more than any demon ever could.

when finally confronted about this, beelzebub came up to you in the kitchen since you both had dish duty. belphegor wasn't with him, but the paranoia still stood firm.

"am i losing you because of what happened?"

without missing a beat, "everyone has. are the rest just more oblivious than you may be?"

beelzebub stands stunned. the dish in his hand is dripping with soap, the wet sponge in his other hand running a trail down his arm.

"i don't want to lose you. when i think about losing you my heart does that thing your stomach does when you are hungry."

at this, its your turn to stand stunned for a second. you knew you had definite feelings for the demon, but thought he was just using you as a replacement sister in place of lilith. hes never been the best with explaining his feelings, but relating it to his stomach pain makes it all too clear to you.

beelzebub is in love with you, maybe more than you are with him at this point. you have a hungry dog on your lead, and he is patiently sat waiting for a treat.

"can i hug you? just one more time?"

your shoulders shrug, afraid to say yes outloud for it may cause a hurricane to swirl inside your eyes.

and beelzebub pulls you closer, not too close though. holds you tight, but not too tight. he is afraid of where he should put his hands and ends up setting on your back and head.

beelzebub wants to scream. he wants the whole world to know how much he utterly and completely aches for you. just once more. let him hold you before you slip from his grip forever.

belphegor: i want you

i found you / i found the door / but when i stepped through / there was no floor / you're coming back / and its the end of the world

belphegor flinched as the sound of your scream resonated through the entire house of lamentation.

it was one of pain, fear. he had heard it many times before. in nightmares of yours, ones of his own, and that one fated day he heard it because of his own actions.

footsteps cut through his thoughts as he saw beelzebub getting up and leaving, presumably going to you. and dear lord belphegor wishes he could go with. but he fears him appearing in real life directly after a nightmare will cause more damage than control.

so belphegor tried to fall back asleep. he was abruptly interrupted when beelzebub reentered the room- but not alone. no, he had for devil knows why brought you back with him. if belphegor knew what an anxiety attack was, that would be what he was slowly experiencing in this moment. frozen in his bed, he tried to squeeze his eyes shut as hard as possible, begging his body to sleep.

"belphegor?"

looks like he's not getting sleep anytime soon. damn it.

he rolls his body over slowly, to see you and beelzebub sat next to each other on his brothers bed. your expression is hard to make out in the dark, but he can sense the fright in your voice. theres no possible way beelzebub could've convinced you to come here, so it must have been your own decision. belphegor doesn't know what to say. so he just stares.

"i'm sorry," is all he can seem to say.

"don't be."

"why? even after you have so gracefully forgiven me and come to be my friend, i still end up tormenting your safest place. your dreams."

for a second you look shocked, not knowing how he knew the nightmares were about him. the only person you had confided in them about was simeon- who had given you a soothing sleep potion to help fight off the nightmares. so how did belphegor find out?

see, the thing is, every single brother, both angels, your wierd sorcerer friend, hell even the lord diavolo himself knows the content of your nightmares. it wasn't that difficult to piece it all together when they had only begun after your 'death'.

realizing you hadn't answered him, even though it wasn't a question, you spoke again.

"i'm not actually afraid of you."

beelzebub seems to feel relieved next to to you as you speak, but you are not finished.

"i'm only afraid of what you can do, belphegor. just like how i'm not afraid of satan, but i'm terrified of wrath."

you wanted to put it into gentle words he would understand. you wanted to have a connection with him, it was just going to be a long bumpy road of healing and acceptance. for both of you.

at this belphegor sat up, rubbing at his eyes.

"so why did you come here? to tell me that?"

beelzebub sat up straighter, moving his legs a bit.

"belphie, they asked if they could come here, 'cuz they said they want to trust you."

belphegor mulled over his brothers words. what did that mean? you trusted him just because you were able to speak to him?

somehow you picked up on his confusion. "will you...put me to sleep..? i mean- you don't have to but, if i can trust you with that it would help. i think."

belphegor is stunned. you, the dear human his brothers adore, want him to help you with something. you, on your own accord, have come to connect with him. he can't fully promise that he will always be there to protect your dreams, but if you will give him this opportunity he will try his best.

you, laying together with belphegor- the demon who has once killed you. you want to trust and come to have a bond with him. just as you have all the other brothers.

but some nightmares are just too much to handle. and maybe it is best if you stay away for a bit longer to deal with it alone.

bonus! mc: fireworks

and then one warm summer night / i'll hear fireworks outside / and i'll listen to the memories as they cry, cry, cry

not a day goes by that you do not miss your seven beloved demon princes.

at first, for a few months after you left, one of them would randomly jumpscare you in your own home with a 'surprise visit'. that usually ends in a scolding and reminder that the d.d.d exists for a reason.

nonetheless, slowly the boys stopped visiting. sure you met up with solomon quite a bit, or even met up with simeon and luke.

it hurt to feel them slipping away, but you only wanted to remember all the good things. no use in holding a match to an already blazing forest fire.

so you started doing things for yourself.

self care (asmodeus had some influence in the particular brands), working hard in your studies, making sure to eat well and use working out as a stress relief. for a while this happy dance of pretending to be getting better helped, made you feel like yourself again.

one particular outing you had planned was to go see a firework show out in a small town next to your own. it was advertised all over the place, so you were determined to go and enjoy the show.

when the day, a mere tuesday, finally arrived- you were ecstatic. elated at the idea of having somewhat of a date with yourself in the town next door. it wasn't going to start until around nine pm, so you had the entire day to prepare and get ready. you may be going alone, but damn all you will be the best dressed there. asmodeus had taught you once some fashion tips to make your outfit really stand out in a good way, and you mixed those tips into tonight's outfit happily.

the drive there was pretty easy, not much really going on in your own town at the moment and lots of cars leaving to go next door for the show.

the breeze was warm- but not the bad kind. rather a comforting kind, as if the wind was hugging you tightly.

many people from your own town were milling about, and you stopped to say hi a few times before settling down into the grass with a blanket.

"mc? hey, what are you doing here?"

a familiar voice. solomons, to be exact.

you were quite excited to see solomon but at the same time- he just reminded you more that you and the boys aren't together anymore.

"i came for the fireworks, why are you here?"

solomon pondered your question for a second before answering. "i don't really know."

you both laughed in somewhat confusion, before solomon explained that he had heard about the show but didn't know why he actually had chosen to come. but that he was glad to see you, glad he came regardless.

he sat with you as you both waited now. there was a bit of small talk, but not much. you two were pretty caught up in each others lives most of the time.

as you two continued chatting and waiting- a call rang through the air. you reached for your phone to see its from your family member, and quickly pick up to see what they want.

though your heart sinks when you hear them crying over the line.

"hey whats wrong? are you okay?"

they attempt to stifle their cries, saying they are sorry.

"my car broke down, i was on my way to the fireworks when the engine just...stopped."

they sound panicked and scared, you know those feelings well. and it isn't exactly safe to be stranded out this late waiting on a car shop to send someone to help. so, you offer to come pick them up. its not too far away, and its only around eight thirty now. the fireworks won't start for a bit.

your family member thanks you relentlessly before you both say your goodbyes and you explain to solomon. he is bummed you have to go, but tells you to hurry back so he has someone to enjoy the fireworks with.

the drive there is relatively easy, your family member not being too far or in a strange spot. their car had broken down right near a gas station, so a kind stranger had at least helped them push the car into the lot.

"(family member name), i'm here," you speak as you walk around the back of their car. but you don't see them in the passenger seat, and assume they might've gone in the gas station. so you go in as well.

the cashier greets you politely, and you ask if he had seen your family member. unfortunately for you, the cashier explains that they had seen them, but that was ten minutes ago when a patrolling cop had come to pick them up and call for a car repairman.

their phone might have died, but you can't help the frustration you feel. its now around eight fourty seven, and the drive back will take you roughly fifteen minutes. its cutting it extremely close, but you are damn well determined to see these fireworks and enjoy a carefree night with solomon. so, you quickly purchase some water bottles and hurry your way back to the car.

its not like luck has ever really been on your side, but tonight seems particularly bad. there is a sudden traffic rush, assumingly people last minute trying to make it to the show. and you are caught up in their hurry. every single light was red, causing you to constantly be stuck waiting to move.

you grab your d.d.d at one long red light and call solomon. he picks up immediately and tells you to hurry back, to which you explain what happened. he sounds almost as frustrated with your family member as you are, consoling you that you won't miss the fireworks. he sits on the phone with you as you drive, keeping you from getting anxious or having to be alone this late.

it isn't until your car clock strikes nine o one that you finally start to see familiar buildings. you have entered the correct area of the town, and now just have to navigate your way back to the park field. telling solomon you're almost there, you decide to hang up so you can focus on driving only.

unbeknownst to you, when you had hung up, solomon was not actually sitting alone anymore. he now had seven guests sitting with him, waiting not for the show- waiting for you.

and it isn't until you hear the first firework go off that you give up.

you park the car, climb out and up, and sit atop it.

you can barely make out the shapes and colors from so far away, but at least you can see them. the breeze has cooled down a bit, pushing against your shoulders and hair. the fireworks are beautiful, even from this distance.

and in some sick way, the universe had given you this exact moment on purpose. you had intended for it to be a date with yourself, and now it truly was.

poor passerby cars are left to just watch your figure in the dark, atop your car. you are thankful for the dark of night for the first time in your life.

because no one can see your tears.

#obey me #obey me imagines #obey me reactions #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me angst #lol can u tell how much i project my mental illness #song fic #obey me song fic #obey me x mitski

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devldom · 2 years

Text

two slow dancers

Lucifer x Reader

1.4k words. sfw, gn!reader.

Summary: while stumbling through some pictures from the time you lived in the Devildom as an exchange student, Lucifer can’t help but ask himself if you still think about them, if you still think about him. as one of Diavolo’s parties gets closer, he can’t get you out of his mind and his friend notices it.

A/N: got this idea while listening to Two Slow Dancers by Mitski the other day so, here’s a lil something. the idea is that (spoilers for the beginning of season two) instead of Solomon reaching out to you to go back into the Devildom, that never happened and once the exchange ended, you came back into the human world and never visited their world again. this is my first time writing for Obey Me! so bear with me, i truly am trying my best here. nonetheless, i hope you enjoy it. <3

It was a day like any other in the Devildom; Lucifer found himself working in his office, helping Diavolo with some paperwork he asked him to do. Among the piles of papers found on his desk, something caught his attention. He saw the corner of what looked like a photograph under a few papers and folders. Curious, he decided to move those papers to see what was underneath them; and, in fact, a bunch of polaroids were under the documents. The demon immediately recognized the photos and took them in his hands, taking a look at all of them. They were pictures from your time as an exchange student.

Lucifer has tried so hard not to think about you since you left, but still, he found himself reminiscing the past, the scenarios that were pictured on the polaroids playing on his head; of all the times he had so much fun with his brothers, but especially, with his favorite human. And he couldn’t help but ask himself, what if?

“Hello Lucifer, are you done with the paperwork?” a voice interrupted his rushing thoughts. “Oh, I’m sorry, are you still busy?” Diavolo asked.

“No, no,” Lucifer shook his head slightly, placing the pictures on his desk. “Sorry, it’s ready.” He gathered the several papers together and handed them to Diavolo, as the demon walked towards his desk. He saw the polaroids laying on the desk as he collected said papers.

“Oh, I haven’t seen those pictures in so long! I remember when a lot of those were taken” his tone as cheerful as always. His eyes went back to Lucifer, whose sight was glued to a polaroid that depicted the both of you together; it looked like a selfie, the demon smiling a smile Diavolo has never seen before. A certain happiness that Lucifer kept hidden from everyone else, except you. “Are you okay?” he asked his friend.

“Huh? Of course, as fine as always.” The black-haired demon quickly replied, collecting the pictures in his hands.

“Do you miss them, Lucifer?” Diavolo asked, his voice strangely soft. Silence filled the studio as Lucifer stored the polaroids on the left drawer of his desk.

“Do you think they still think about us?” Lucifer dared to ask, his tone so quiet the question almost got lost in the humming of the ambiance. “Do you think they miss us?”

“Even though it’s been a while, I do think they think about us from time to time,” the demon lord replied, “I think you guys did as much for them as they did for you. Of course they remember us. We all had an amazing time while they were here. Especially you.”

“What does that mean?” Lucifer questioned, to which Diavolo replied with a chuckle. “We all noticed the way you used to look at them, Lucifer. Don’t try to play dumb with me, I’m your friend. It’s okay to miss them, I know you cared deeply about them.”

Lucifer sighed. Of course he missed you. The two of you became close during your stay on the Devildom, and despite the fact that the both of you stressed each other out, he couldn’t help but fall for you. He would never admit it, however, which he deeply regretted; what if his own sin cost him the love of his life?

“Anyways,” he was the one to interrupt his own thoughts this time. “Yeah, the paperwork. Is that all?”

“Yes,” Diavolo responded, deciding not to continue asking him about his feelings, as he knew Lucifer’s pride will prevent him from opening up. “I’m off to check some stuff that’s missing for the party I’m hosting this weekend.” the demon lord explained. Lucifer, being as busy as he is, had already forgotten about it. “You and your brothers are coming, right?”

“Of course, we'll be there.” His friend replied. Diavolo smiled as big as he usually does, “Well then, see you.”

Diavolo finally left his friend’s office, an empty silence filling the place. Lucifer found himself sighing once again, staring directly at his closed drawer. Feeling haunted by the memories of you. He’s been trying so hard not to think about you, he doesn’t even know how those pictures ended up there; maybe one of his brothers was looking for something around his office and left them there. It’s been a few years yet he still can picture you so perfectly in his head. It’s as if he just saw you yesterday; his feelings still burned bright red for you.

Lucifer left his office and went directly to his room, echoes of your voice filling his head entirely.

And so, the night of the party arrived.

Diavolo had, once again, outdone himself with this party. There’s so many lights, so many people, the music was blasting, yet Lucifer still felt empty. As he took a sip of some demonus, his sight was directed to the entrance as he saw a few people get in.

And then, he saw you.

Lucifer thought that, for a moment, his mind was playing cruel tricks on him, until you looked his way, too; once you saw him, you smiled. He could feel his legs shaking slightly as your precious expression filled him with a warmth he hasn’t felt in quite a while. He could tell it’s been a while since the last time you both met; there were a few wrinkles on your face, deeper bags under your eyes. But he did not care about that: for Lucifer, you were as radiant as ever.

“Hey” you murmured as you made your way towards him. Seeing you in front of him finally felt real.

“Hello” he replied, greeting you with that smile he only had for you, making you giggle. “It’s been a while.” You said. Now he was the one laughing. “Yeah, I guess so. You look amazing.”

“And you haven’t changed a bit” you spoke, hugging him. Feeling your warmth against his body took him by surprise, but it didn’t take him long to return the hug. He closed his eyes and just enjoyed that moment: feeling you close to him once again.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what brings you here?” he asked as he broke away from the hug, lowering his hands through your back.

“Barbatos came up to look for me this morning and told me Diavolo was hosting a party tonight, and he wanted me to be here.” You replied, and Lucifer could feel his cheeks burning lightly. Of course this was Diavolo’s doing. He looked over your shoulder and he could see him, standing next to his brothers, a wide smile on his face while showing him both thumbs up as support.

“Of course he did that.” The demon chuckled.

“Yeah. When I arrived this morning he told me you miss me.” You said, releasing yourself from his grasp and extending your hand at him so you could dance together. “He told me he saw you looking at the pictures I took.”

“Oh,” once again, the heat on his face. He took your hand, guiding you to the dance floor. “I see. I don’t know if my brothers were being nosy in my office and left them on my desk.”

You smiled at him, placing one hand on his shoulder. “I missed you guys, too. I missed you, Lucifer.”

The demon bit his lower lip lightly, feeling many feelings at once. He placed his free hand on your waist and started dancing with you. You placed your head on his chest, the beating of his heart sounding like the sweetest melody against your ear.

“I missed you.” The avatar of pride finally admitted.

Lucifer didn’t have the courage to say a single word after that. He didn’t ask you if you were seeing someone, if you already had a life of your own; he did not want to know any of that. Not because he didn’t care, but because it would hurt, and you know that, which is why you didn’t say anything either. You stood there, slow dancing, enjoying each other’s company. No one else existed in that moment, except for the two of you.

You knew you had to come back to the human world the next day, being aware that you have responsibilities to take care of. But you didn’t want to think about that right now, as your mind was wandering through the memories of your time on the Devildom. The time you spent with these brothers, and the time you enjoyed with Lucifer. You knew you could never have all of this back, so all that’s left for you is to treasure this moment and the memories you already have.

Right now, all that mattered was the demon dancing with you, and the rapid sound of his heart beating for you.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #lucifer x reader #omswd #om lucifer #omswd lucifer #lucifer #kai writes #this game makes me write sad shit #i haven't written anything in months so i'm feeling a bit rusty ngl

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