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interstellarflowers · 3 years

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Professor Parker Ch. 1| Professor, Peter Parker x Student, Reader

a/n this fic doesn’t follow the marvel cinematic universe but assume that peter has been what he’s been through with the exception that tony lived, and bruce is still bruce, sorry but i just can't deal with endgame hulk/bruce rn emotionally or mentally. im sorry nat is still dead but dw i'll actually treat it with respect unlike endgame like goddamn where was her funeral, am i right? the stages of grief thing they did was interesting though. im sorry i digress, this is set in nyc (because heyo im a new yorka) and the avengers/stark tower is still a thing, peter is fucking traumatized and has turned kind of cold as a result. this fic may contain a smut chapter in the future? not sure yet, where this fic goes depends on the feedback, thanks for reading also sorry im not the proudest of this first chapter so ill probably edit it but promise itll only improve from here just not in the best mental state rn

University life wasn’t exactly everything that you imagined it to be. There was hardly time to do anything that people claimed was good about coming to university. The parties, the epic heartbreaks, and romances, they were just nowhere to be seen. In fact, there was nothing particularly extravagant about your experience thus far. You went to class, studied, and went to your internship. Your internship was probably the most exciting thing about your life at the moment, you were lucky to be accepted into the Stark Industries student internship, the company paid college tuition and only required around twenty hours of lab work a week, you couldn’t complain. Of course, the exciting part of the whole ordeal was the name attached to it, “Stark,” not that you had ever met him, but it was nice to have a unique feature like that in such an impressive student body.

So here you were on the first day of your third year of university. You lived off-campus, about a five-minute walk from the Stark Tower, but a twenty-minute subway ride to your campus. However, having an 882 square foot space to yourself was really nothing you could truly complain about despite the distance. The studio apartment being yet another benefit reaped from Stark Industries. Thank you Tony Stark, the unseen benevolent God in your life.

Typically you would start your mornings off quietly and in no rush, a shower, a cup of coffee, maybe some studying before heading off to your campus, but your phone had other plans for you today. Instead of your alarm going off like it was supposed to, you were woken up by the sound of a particularly loud car horn, and oh how grateful you were for that. As soon as you were jolted awake you shifted to grab your phone and turned it over to see an alarming 8:40am glaring back at you.

Holy shit. You were late.

You scrambled out of bed nearly face planting several times in your hurry to get dressed and only barely ran out the door with everything you needed at 8:47am.

By the time you managed to get to the subway and clamor onto the right train it was already 8:55am. Out of breath and panicking, you considered your options. You could explain after class, you could shoot an email, there were a plethora of things you could do but none of them seemed to justify being late as a third-year to a level 500 class. You had googled all of your professors while registering for classes as was common practice. You couldn’t find a RateMyProfessor on Professor...Parker? You were pretty sure it was Professor Parker, but you do remember seeing on the STEM department page that he was currently a Ph.D. student, so you could only hope that as a fellow student he would be at least a little understanding towards your lateness.

You stood outside of the lecture hall huffing and trying to catch your breath at 9:32am, psyching yourself up, you pushed open the door to the class and attempted to go unnoticed. The class was in a lecture hall despite being only composed of around thirty students, so if you were lucky maybe nobody would even see-

“Ms.(y/l/n), I presume?.” Shit.

“Professor Parker?” Shit.

“You are aware that class starts at 9am, and not 9:30am, would this be correct Ms.(y/l/n)?”

“Yes, Professor, it’s just that I had an emergency.” The lying route. Not exactly the highlight of your academic career.

“I regret to inform you that I only take valid excuses Ms.(y/l/n), please take a seat, and next time, don’t bother disrupting class halfway through the lesson.” Fuck. You mustered a quiet “ok,” and a small nod before escorting yourself to the back of the room, thirty-something eyes following you until you sat down.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the class, it was just too embarrassing, time moved forward but you couldn’t help but be stuck on what had just happened. For the first ten minutes after sitting down you felt like dropping out of the whole class out of sheer fucking humiliation. This was of course before you reminded yourself that this class was a requirement to graduate in your field of study. You quietly bargained with yourself before sighing quietly and settling on the conclusion that Professor Parker was just a dick. A dick who certainly didn’t deserve the satisfaction of you switching out of his class. If he wanted to be like that, you decided, you would simply return the favor.

“I know, Ms.(y/ln), why don’t you tell us DeBroglie’s equation?”

“With pleasure, Professor Parker.” Yeah, you’d return the favor alright.

“Ms.(y/l/n), you stay.” Fuck that. You looked the other way and feigned ignorance as you kept making your way towards the door. About to leave, the door shut on your face.

“What the fuck!” You jumped before turning around and you felt your face heat up.

“Ms.(y/l/n), please refrain from using profanities in my classroom.”

“I’m sorry Professor Parker. I was just startled.”

“Mhm,” he took his glasses off and laid them on his desk, “Just don’t do it in the future Ms.(y/l/n).”

“Of course. My name is (y/n), by the way, Professor Parker, you can just call me that, actually, I prefer that people refer to me by (y/n).”

“Rest assured, I’m aware of your name, Ms.(y/l/n). My name is Peter, but you can continue to call me Professor Parker.” You could have sworn that you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips. He knew what he was fucking doing, asshole. You held back from rolling your eyes into the back of your head.

“Of course, Professor Parker.”

“As you know, Ms.(y/l/n), I did request that you stay after class.”

“Oh? I sincerely apologize Professor Parker, I really didn’t hear you.”

“I’m sure, Ms.(y/l/n).” Fucking. Dick.

“Well, what exactly did you want Professor Parker? I do have another class soon.” Professor Parker narrowed his eyes at you in obvious distaste before reaching behind himself into a bin underneath his desk and pulling out a stack of papers,

“These are the handouts you missed from the beginning of the class. Textbook requirements, syllabus...Crucial information to have if you care to succeed in my class Ms.(y/l/n).” So coldly, so maliciously, Professor Parker placed the stack into your arms.

“I take my work very seriously, Ms.(y/l/n), I do my part as your professor so I only have the simple request that my students do the same.” You nodded feeling your face heat up again.

“Of course, Professor Parker, it won’t happen again,” you said with a tightlipped smile.

“Mhm,” Professor Parker turned around and began shuffling around some paper and without giving you a second glance said, “You are dismissed.” You nodded and hurriedly made your way out of his classroom. Of course, you had lied. You didn’t have another class until late in the afternoon. So you called your coworker instead,

“Hey, Harvey.”

“(y/n).”

“Wow, okay, don’t get too excited.”

“Sorry, just woke up.”

“Tsk, the early bird gets the worm, Harvey.”

“I don’t want a worm.”

“Fuck you. I’m headed to the lab, can I expect you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You had been working with Harvey for around four years now, he was quite the impressive specimen, having attended MIT and graduating Summa Cum Laude at age 20 was no easy feat, he was closer to Tony Stark than you would ever get, he was quite personable, and you couldn’t deny that he was quite good looking. You’d never tell him that though, he didn’t need another ego boost. Besides, you had some connections of your own.

“Hey, (y/n).”

“Banner!”

“Can we expect Harvey today?”

“Honestly, not sure.” You both knowingly smiled at each other before you made your way over to what he was working on,

“Do you ever get bored here?”

“With you and the other idiot always running around? How could I?” You laughed,

“No, seriously, like wouldn’t you rather be doing nerd shit with Tony or something? Isn’t it a little tiresome babysitting us?”

“Tiring? Maybe sometimes, but not nearly as tiring as doing ‘nerd shit’ with Tony. He’s exhausting,” Bruce smiled at his own joke, “I don’t mind playing babysitter at all kid.” He fiddled with the handle of a mug that read, “Don’t be so Na Cl,” which you had gotten him a year back as a joke, but he still used it.

You really loved Bruce for all he was. Since losing your family back in 2012 during the battle in NYC, you didn’t really have any familial figures. But since landing this internship you found yourself with a parental figure again, and you would never be able to put into words how much it meant to you, so you didn’t. Besides, you didn’t want him to feel pressured about it, especially after everything he had been through himself. Frying half your body and losing the love of your life in such a short span of time was really nothing less than horrifying. Yet, here he was, smiling, laughing...You loved him for it.

“First day of junior year? How was that?”

“Shit.”

“Huh?” Bruce stopped tinkering with the device in his hands and looked over at you, “I’ve never heard of a course being too hard for (y/n) (y/l/n), what is it? Aerospace? Quantum?”

“No, just one giant dick.”

“Pardon-”

“My professor, he’s a fucking asshole.”

“Ah, I see. If he’s really harassing you (y/n), I don’t mean to overstep, I really think we should alert administration, what’s his name?” Bruce took a sip of his coffee.

“Professor Parker,” Bruce choked on his coffee, “Oh my God, Bruce, are you okay?”

“Yeah-” he said, still coughing, “Just a little too strong.”

“Okay, are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bruce caught his breath, “What did he do kid?”

“He’s just a dick that’s all.”

“You sure you don’t want me to do something about it?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I don’t know what you could do anyways. Thank you though.”

“Actually, you’d be surprised.”

Sitting at your desk stressing over school work at 3am, it was nothing out of the ordinary for you. Everything appeared ordinary. The ordinary cup of tea, the familiar glow of your computer, and a morning chill creeping through your window. It was all so breathtakingly normal until there was a rap on your window. You took an earbud out of your ear, certain you were just hearing things, you looked to your window. Holy shit.

You opened your window wide so that he could crawl in.

“(y/n)?”

“Mr.Spiderman.” Still too in shock to fully process the situation you started to take in the scene in front of you,

“Please, it’s just Spiderman.”

“Oh-Oh my God, what happened?” Head to toe the suit seemed to have blood seeping through, tears in the body of the suit revealed gashes and a bullet wound.

“Bad guys. I know this guy-said he knew a medical student close by, you are (y/n)? Right?”

“Y-Yeah, but I’m really just a student, I’m not really a prof-”

“This guy, he said you might as well be.”

“I don’t know Mr.Spiderman, really, maybe I could take you to the hospital though.”

“-Spiderman, it’s just Spiderman, listen, (y/n), you know I can’t go to a hospital, it would ruin this whole secret identity thing I got going on here, and this guy, he’s probably the smartest guy I know, so if he says you can handle it, you can.” You swallowed and nodded,

“Yeah-” you wring your hands together, “Yeah-Sorry, let me go get my first aid kit.”

#tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #tom holland #spiderman #spiderman x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #bruce banner #tony stark #iron man #idk #sorry #ill prolly rewrite this seven times

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make-me-imagine · 3 years

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Submission by @thebookbakery; this is their first published fic, so I hope you guys enjoy it, and let them know what you think!

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Bruce Banner (MCU) x Female!Reader (sorry…)

Warnings: Reader with mental illness, so much fluff, code green (but dw, Hulk is a softie)

Marvel Taglist: @aquariuslavenderhoney

Fic Written by: @thebookbakery

Go check out their new fic blog @trashywritestrash !!!

—–

Bruce’s POV

I shove my head in my hands, closing my eyes in a desperate attempt to calm my mind; even though I know it’s pointless. My thoughts have been bouncing around all day, leaving me unable to focus on any task for longer than thirty seconds. Even as they run circles in my head, my thoughts keep making their way back to her.

Y/N has been avoiding me for the past four days. But, to be fair, it’s not only me that she’s been avoiding. Wanda and Bucky noticed it too, but when I asked, they told me to let her come back in her own time. I understand why they would say that; but it’s getting increasingly difficult to hold myself back from knocking on her bedroom door. I’ve never been the type to be that direct- especially when it comes to women- but these past couple of days have been driving me to my wits end. I thought I was just worried, like any good friend would… But that’s not it. Tony’s daily ritual of annoying me while I try to work made me realize that I’m not worried I did something wrong.

I miss her.

Normally, she would come into the lab with enough coffee to kill a horse and sit with us. She would occasionally help me with an equation or grab Tony some tool he needed- but Y/N mainly stayed to keep us company. She’d join in on jokes and keep us from losing our minds to an unfinished project or a lack of sleep. I miss having her sit on an empty desk and read my screen over my shoulder. I miss seeing the sparkle in her eyes when we’d explain what we’re planning next. What I miss most is simply hearing her laugh at something I said. It’s nice. Knowing that Y/N enjoys my company. Or, at least, she did.

I have no idea what time it is, but it must be late. The compound is dead silent, and it’s pitch black outside. Suddenly, I can feel the other guy clawing at my brain, trying to take control. My head feels as if it’s splitting open, my eyes watering as a searing pain shoots from my temples outwards. The reflection of my face on the desk shows green veins appearing.

Oh no.

Y/N’s POV

I feel nothing but the cool water lapping at my ankles. My mind has been almost blank for the past week. This isn’t new, it’s basically a routine by now. Every once in a while, my head will empty, save for a few thoughts here and there. I won’t feel emotions, and when I do, they are so watered-down that I wonder if they’re real or if it’s just a reflex I’ve picked up after faking it for so long. When I get like this, I hide. I stay in my room, only leaving when necessary. I speak in short sentences, if at all. They don’t need to see me like this. I’m not fun, I don’t speak up, I sit on the couch and zone-out the whole time. Words will go in one ear and out the other, leaving only a small trace behind. I don’t want this version of me to be all they can see.

So here I sit with my feet in the pool at three in the morning because I can’t fall asleep. The pool is my usual choice on these nights. If anyone has a nightmare, they’ll go to the kitchen or the common room. No one comes out here. Especially not at night.

I take steady breaths, keeping myself calm. My eyes drift shut as tears slip out and land on my pajama bottoms. I lift my hand to cover my mouth as I sniffle, not wanting to make noise. The worst part of this is that I don’t have a reason for crying. I just feel like I need to get it out.

As I wipe my tears away, I hear movement behind me to my left and quickly turn. Years of spy training and paranoia helps in the reaction time department. My eyes widen.

“Bruce?” Loud footsteps approach and I realize that isn’t Bruce. The large green figure steps closer, dropping onto the ground beside me, “What are you doing out?”

“Hulk heard pretty girl cry,” He mumbles, not wanting to be loud. Y/N wonders if he’s being quiet out of courtesy or fear.

“I’m okay, big guy. But what about you? Are you okay? Did Stark do something stupid again?” He gives a small shake of his head.

“Y/N cry.”

My chest tightens slightly, “You… you came out just to check on me?” Hulk hums in agreeance, looking down into the clear blue water of the pool. “That’s sweet of you.”

After a moment of silence, Hulk glances over at me. When our eyes meet, he looks back to the pool and gently slides in, careful not to splash. Although he went slowly, Hulk is so large that the water overflows and spills over the edges of the tile. It soaks my bottom, but I don’t care; it’s just water. I give him a smile as he steps in front of me, “What are you doing?” the depth of the pool makes him slightly shorter than me, causing me to look down the tiniest bit to see his face.

“Pretty girl still sad,” he answers simply. I huff out a laugh.

“Why do you call me that?”

“Hulk think Y/N pretty,” Hulk looks down, like he’s nervous.

I roll my eyes with a soft chuckle, “Well, you need to meet more people,” he looks back up at me.

“Puny Banner think Y/N pretty too,” my eyes widen slightly.

“Really?” I feel my face heat up, but I try to keep calm. I don’t want to get my hopes up. So, what if he thinks I’m pretty? That doesn’t automatically mean he thinks of me as anything more than a friend.

“Yes,” I take a moment to collect my thoughts before Hulk asks, “Why pretty Y/N so sad?”

After taking a deep breath, I explain, “Sometimes… my mind goes blank and I- I feel kind of empty?” Knowing he’s probably confused, I elaborate, “Do you remember that shell I showed you? It was small and pink- you called it fragile.”

His eyes light up a bit as he nods, starting to get it, “Remember how I told you that a crab used to live inside of it, like a home?” Another nod, “Well… I kind of feel like a shell without a crab. It’s empty, and it just sits there until it’s useful again. When I feel like that, it’s sometimes hard for me to feel happy.” Hulk seems to get it but doesn’t say anything. Then, suddenly, he goes underwater. I watch curiously as he resurfaces, cheeks puffed out full of water. He looks up and puckers his lips, spurting water from his mouth like a roman fountain. And for the first time in the past week, I laugh. It’s quiet, subtle, but it’s real; and it feels good. Hulk sees and smiles when he’s done. Looking at him now, in this moment, it’s even harder for me to understand how people could be afraid of him. Hulk may look big and scary, but he’s a sweetheart.

“Y/N happy?” I couldn’t stop my smile if I wanted to.

“I am now.”

He looks excited, “Hulk make Y/N happy?”

“Yes, you do,” He smiles wide and steps forward, setting his head on your lap. He’s so precious. Carefully, I slide my fingers into his sopping hair, gently massaging his scalp. His eyes fall shut as he stays where he is. I’m completely soaked now, but I couldn’t care less- the incredible Hulk himself is snuggling me like a puppy and it’s adorable.

I don’t know how much time passes like this. Eventually, Hulk pulls away with a frown, “Puny Banner want out.” I reach out to cup his cheek, causing him to lean into my touch with a content smile.

“That’s okay, isn’t it? You can see me again soon.” I use both my hands to pull his face closer to mine, allowing me to place a small kiss on his forehead. He nods slowly.

“Bye-bye pretty Y/N,” And with that, he begins shrinking. I move my hands under his arms so that Bruce doesn’t drown as soon as he wakes up. When he’s back to normal, he immediately shoots up and looks around frantically.

“Bruce- it’s okay, you’re okay! I’m right here,” he calms down and leans his arms against the edge of the pool to hold himself up.

“Oh my- Y/N! Are you okay? Are you hurt?!” He begins looking over me for any injuries.

“No, no, I’m okay. He didn’t hurt anyone,” once he relaxes some, he places his head in his hands. Bruce didn’t move far after transforming, so he’s still close enough for you to comfortably place your fingers back into his hair.

“Y/N… Are you okay?”

I sigh, “Bruce, I promise you, Hulk did not hurt me,” he tenses slightly.

“I wasn’t talking about him…” I get the message and remove my hand from his hair.

“I’m sorry. I was playing with Hulk’s hair before, but I shouldn’t have assumed that you’d be okay with it too,” he looks confused. “You’re two different people with two different opinions. Just because he likes something, that doesn’t mean you like it too.”

“Actually,” Bruce looks down in his attempt to hide a blush, “I, uh… I do kinda like it. It feels… It feels nice.” I smile softly and nod, continuing the motions I was using on Hulk, getting a very similar reaction.

Bruce opens his eyes and looks up at me, not speaking until our eyes meet and are locked for an amount of time that is probably too long for ‘just friends’.

“Are you afraid of him?” I shake my head no, “Why not?”

I hold back my giggles, “Because you’re both big babies.”

His eyes widen slightly with curiosity, “What did he say that would make you think that?” The laugh escapes before I can stop it.

“Let’s see… He came out just because he heard me crying and wanted to check on me, then he called me pretty. After all that, he spit water out of his mouth like a fountain to cheer me up,” Bruce smiles softly, but it falls as he thinks on the words.

“Wait… What did he call you?” He sounds nervous. I was hoping he’d overlook that, but I guess I’m not that lucky.

“Hulk kept calling me ‘pretty girl’ or 'pretty Y/N’,” suddenly feeling shy, I continue, “He’s actually really sweet when you get to know him…” My voice trails off as I worry if I said too much. I know Bruce doesn’t like talking about Hulk, especially right after switching back. However, he only seems to blush at my words.

“Did he- uh, did he say anything else?” Bruce is looking down at his hands, fidgeting nervously like a child who is afraid he’s going to be yelled at. As if the skies finally clear on a cloudy day, I get an idea as to why he is acting this way. Against my better judgement, I speak up.

“He said that you do too… That you think I’m pretty, I mean!” I press my lips together tightly, trying to form a seal. Maybe if my lips fuse together, it’ll finally get me to shut my mouth before I make a fool of myself rather than after. Alas, it doesn’t work, “Hulk probably only said that to make me feel better though, so don’t worry.”

Bruce tenses up at the mention of that. I open my mouth to apologize, but he beats me to it, “No, he didn’t. I- um… I do… think that you’re pretty…” His face flushes beet red and he refuses to meet my gaze. I slowly inch my hand closer to his until they are on top of each other. Carefully, he interlocks our fingers, obviously still scared that he might hurt me. I give his hand a gentle squeeze, causing him to look up.

“Thank you.”

We spend the next few minutes in total silence, staring at our joined hands and appreciate how calm this moment is. No missions, no aliens, no Loki, and most importantly- no Tony. I don’t think either of us could do this with him teasing us the whole time. Bruce moves his hand and, for a second, I’m afraid he’s going to pull away. Instead, he holds both of my hands in both of his, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles lovingly.

“Y/N, would you… Would you like to go to dinner with me?”

I quickly- probably too quickly- nod, trying to conceal my smile. After realizing how desperate I must look, I pull myself together, “I’d love to, Bruce.”

His eyes shine in the moonlight as he smiles wide. Keeping his hands in mine, I pull them up to my face and plant gentle kisses on his knuckles. We just stay there, blushing and grinning like idiots as we bask in the comfort that comes with not being alone. No words are spoken, but they don’t need to be. I look into his eyes and I can feel the warmth and love radiating from him. And I will do everything in my power to show Bruce that I trust him and Hulk. That I am not afraid of him and never will be.

Tony’s POV

“Did I just see that right?” asks Steve as he stares in disbelief at what we just witnessed.

“Do we need to get you bifocals, grandpa? I knew you were old, but I didn’t think your eyesight was that questionable yet,” I quip as I slide my phone back into my pocket.

F.R.I.D.A.Y alerted me as soon as the code green began. I woke Steve on my way to where the big guy was, but when I saw what was happening, I held Cap back. Y/N has a special effect on Hulk, we all know it. This only proves it. Steve scoffs at my comment, but I don’t care, it’s about damn time Bruce talks to her. Y/N is good for him, she makes him happy… They both deserve to be happy, to feel loved. If they can do that for each other, who are any of us to call it dangerous.

Steve looks back at them through the sliding door, “What do we do now?”

Bruce looks so happy. He’s never happy after going green. We can’t see Y/N’s face from this angle, but I can only guess how she must feel right now. For being a couple of Earth’s mightiest heroes who kick ass for a living, they seem content. Peaceful even.

“We go back to sleep.”

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b-u-c-k-y-b-a-r-n-e-s16-12-1991 · 3 years

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Back In The Day

Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes know who they are. Heroes. Avengers. Saviours of the universe. Full-time frenemies. Here they discuss love, sexuality, and homophobia through the years.

Rating: Teen

Content: Homophobia mention, Hydra mention

Ship: Sambucky (alluded)

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers (dw they just say 'Steve' like twice)

Word count: 1.8k

Tagging: @marvel-mushroom @lesbians-love-samwilson @purelyutilitarian @kiras-sunshine @daddypickle @icarusfellintomyarms @space-and-ace @fenny2613 @your-genderfluid-parental-figure @purple-cactus-cat @burntout-bi @classified-bluerose @disasterbionlineround2

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"Alright. When was the last time you kissed anybody?"

He and Sam have been sat here looking out over the water for an hour now, coaxing each other into talking about things they don't want to talk about. Trying to get to know each other. For Steve's sake, they say, in honour of their old friend. For the mission's sake, so they can work better together, more in sync. Not because they're curious. Not at all.

Bucky considers for a minute. When was the last time he kissed anybody? Were there some with Hydra; ones that he can't remember, didn't want, didn't choose, women that had to be seduced before he could put a bullet through their head. And then there are the ones that don't count, the ones he doesn't want to acknowledge...

"I don't know," he replies eventually. It's complicated. Everything's complicated. How old is he? Mentally? Physically? Legally? He doesn't know. Who is he? He doesn't know.

"Come on," Sam says, in a joking way that shows maybe he doesn't understand the mental gymnastics required to try and work this out. "What, have you never been kissed?"

"Course I have," Bucky mutters in response. "I don't know, it was..." He counts for a minute, remembers some things, forgets others. "Forty-one."

Sam's eyes get wide. "Forty-one years?" He sounds incredulous. He'll sound even more incredulous when he learns the truth.

"Uh, nineteen forty-one."

"You haven't been kissed for eighty-two years?" Sam says, disbelieving. "There are people who don't even live that long."

Bucky shrugs. "I can't help it. Trust me, if I had my way I'd be wrinkled and grey right now. Old. Normal."

Sam smiles weakly, and Bucky can see he's contemplating. Wondering what it must be like. To be so lonely for so long.

"So you really haven't..." Sam starts talking, then stops. Sometimes Bucky forgets he's technically old enough to be Sam's grandfather. It's times like these that he remembers. "Not even late nights in the army?"

Sam's teasing. He means well. He always does.

Bucky sighs; he says nothing but in less than two seconds Sam has picked up on it. Although he might act like it at times - jumping out of planes, not doing things early enough, never moving the seat up - that man is not stupid.

"Alright," he says carefully. "When was the last time you kissed a girl?"

"Nineteen forty-one."

"And the last time you kissed a guy?"

Bucky shuts his eyes, remembers Wakanda, the heat, the deep marron light of the setting sun, the peace, the distant sounds of rushing water and birds. A place of safety and calm and freedom. For a while. "Two thousand-eighteen."

Sam says nothing for a minute. Bucky hates this part. The telling; then, the waiting. Is he judging? Does he hate me? Does he see me any differently? Truth be told, he's never told anyone, but he's considered it a thousand times. Tell Steve. Tell any of the other Hiwling Commandos. Tell Hydra in those brief, flashing moments of clarity - maybe they'd have been so disgusted they wouldn't want him any more.

"And the first time?"

"Nineteen thirty-three."

Sam says nothing again, looking out across landscape before them. The water is gentle, a mirror, a mass of flaming reflection.

"So did -"

"Sam," Bucky interrupts before his friend can even begin. He offers a smile that just feels false to wear. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Alright."

Then, less than a minute later, "But -"

"Sam."

"Okay."

They're silent for a while.

"I just -"

"Oh my God, Sam," Bucky says. He's not irritated, per se, he just doesn't feel this is something he needs to discuss. "Can you not?"

Sam seems a little bashful. He looks out over the water as if it might start talking to him instead. "I just always thought you were, you know, the ladies' man."

"Well, maybe I'm the ladies' man and the man's man, alright?"

"But what was it like, you know, in the thirties?"

Apparently they're talking about it.

"I don't know, Sam," he replies, and he doesn't. He's lived so long and been told what to forget and what to remember that his memories of the thirties could be memories from two years ago, and his memories from two years ago could be fifty years old. "We didn't talk about it. It wasn't like anything, because it just wasn't acknowledged. And if it was... It was brushed under the carpet. A whisper about the weirdo neighbour. A funny look when you talk about certain people."

"But how did you know?" Sam asks, insistent. Bucky looks at him, confused, trying to ignore the way the light shines on his friend's face. "If no one talked about it, how would you know if you were... Bi, gay, whatever?"

"Well... How do you know you're attracted to someone?"

Sam raises his eyebrows, his mouth curving into a smile. "Well..."

Bucky rolls his eyes fondly. He should have seen that one coming. "Well, you know, I mean... Whatever. But, you know you're attracted to someone, right, whether you ignore it or ashamed of it or not - because you're aware that you feel shame or regret or something, I don't know. It's just..." He shakes his head, trying to find the right way to explain this. How do you explain something that just is? How do you explain that the sky is blue? It just is. How do you explain that you feel nervous? You just are. How do you explain feeling attraction? It just is.

"It's like, the minute you asked yourself, 'do I find guys attractive?' the answer had to be, 'I don't'. And if you had to actively tell yourself that, odds are, you did."

Sam nods, but the expression on his face is distant, contemplative. If he looks out at that water any longer he might just fall into it.

"You know," Sam says finally. "Growing up, in the eighties, there was this, uh, disease -"

"Sam, I lived through the eighties. I probably remember them better than you do."

Sam smiles. "Well, anyways, you hear about this disease on the news, and it was the only time you'd hear about gay people. I asked my mom once, 'what's a gay person?', and she told me, you know, in a sensible way, that it's someone who loves someone like them. For a while, I thought that meant, like, two black people, two white people, not two men or two women. Kinda traumatised me, to be honest," he adds with a sad-sounding laugh. "I thought it meant my parents would get ill, too, and I got so upset about it my mom had to explain what it really meant... I don't know, even for a straight guy, if the only time you hear about gay people is in conjunction with sickness, it scares you a little, because eventually, you think gay, you'll think disease, too."

A straight -? Right, Sam's straight. Bucky has to try and remind himself for a minute. Sam's straight. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't matter to him.

He nods. They didn't have this disease when he was a kid - or they didn't know about it - but he knows what Sam means. If you only heat about something in a negative context, it becomes negative in your head.

"They thought it was a disease when I was younger," Bucky says. "Just, in itself. A mental one. People tried cures, they weren't -" he looks down at his hands, unsure of whether he wants to think about this, talk about this. "They'd probably kill you. And when the war started, you know, you weren't supposed to enlist if you were having these 'inappropriate feelings and desires'. I was so confused, man," he says, and Sam looks at him because now he's really getting into the conversation, recalling how it was, and it still gets a little exciting when the memories piece themselves together properly. "They had this psychiatric test to see if you were mentally fit enough to join the army. I'd already, you know - what's it they say? - experimented at this point, so when I passed I really didn't know how."

"They say people don't care about it anymore," Sam says, and shakes his head with a bitter smile. "They do. They just aren't allowed to be so loud about it."

They stare out over the water now together, just watching the waves as the sun sinks beyond them, bathing the world in orange and inky blue. Bucky forgot he was supposed to hate this conversation. He forgot he doesn't get on with this man.

"If you could go back and tell them," Sam says, when the world has finally submerged itself into nighttime, and they really need to be getting back. "Your mom and your dad and your sisters. Would you?"

Bucky thinks for a minute. There's so much he wishes he could tell all the people he left behind.

"I'd tell them everything. All the little things and the big things. You don't realise how much you wish you could have said until you don't have the opportunity any more."

-----

That night, Sam sits awake in his room. It's late - it's been late for hours - and everything is shrouded in shadow and the faintly distorted shapes of the night.

He can't get the conversation with Barnes out of his head.

You don't realise how much you wish you could have said until you don't have the opportunity any more.

What would Sam say? What does he have to say? Who would he say it to? No one. Nothing. It's nothing. But how much of a nothing is it if you've been thinking on it for thirty years?

It isn't like his family should be going anywhere any time soon. They're all healthy, live safe lives, none of them are ridiculously old. But in his line of work... Any day could be his last. A well-placed bullet, a neatly-thrown knife, a bomb, malfunction in the suit, that's it, Sam Wilson no more. And he's told nothing to his Mom or his Dad or his sister, people who he loves more than anything in the world.

He should do it. He should call one of them. Now? He checks the time. It's nearly twelve, but his mom stays up late. Worrying about her boy, she says.

In the darkness, the blue light from his phone is as bright as a blanket of snow. Blinding. Disorientating.

He dials her number, and she, as always, picks up immediately.

"Honey, how are you?"

His mom sounds worried. She sounds worried every time he calls. This is it, she thinks, he knows she does, this is the time when it's not Sammy, it's one of his super friends, delivering the bad news that someone's finally done it. They've got the Falcon. It's the end of her beloved son.

"I'm good," Sam says with an uneven sigh, preparing himself. "I just have something I need to tell you."

#bucky barnes #marvel #bucky #sam wilson #tfatws #sambucky #winterfalcon #falcon #winter soldier #the falcon #fic #fanfic #fan fiction #long post #tw long post #tfry1440

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muwur · 4 years

Text

sneaky couple things

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and yamaguchi

about dating behind your parents’/guardians’ backs uerifnrjginfej (yer looking at an expert here B))) hooray for strict parents)

❧ gn reader

✎ 847 words

a/n: requests are open! pls feel free to submit some pLEASE , you could even ask for other characters w this headcanon. tryna use my own experiences for writing this lolol, hopefully it all sounds ok fhnjegleg

oikawa

♡ sneaking him into your house after school and when the fam is all out

♡ this is really the only intimate alone time y’all can get, so you bet y’all both MAKE THE MOST OUT OF IT

♡ meanwhile it’s getting a little steamy in your bedroom when

♡ you both hear some doors unlock hOLY SHIT

♡ you fuckin pUSH HIm off you and he falls off the side of your bed with a thud

♡ “ow what the he--”

♡ “sHHHHHHH THEYRE HOME DOUFNHOGKL”

♡ y’all both screaming and freaking out internally, half naked and a f r a i d

♡ IMMEDIATELY SHUT UP when you hear footsteps getting close

♡ you jump up and shove oikawa in your closet “gAH--” and shut it

♡ your parent/guardian knocks on the door, “y/n? you home from school yet?”

♡ sweats nervously and frantically pulls on your shirt from before “yeah im in here! whats up?”

♡ they open the door and look around, an eyebrow raised “i bought us some food. come out and eat”

♡ “y-yeah! ill be out in a second”

♡ as soon as they leave, you dash over to your door, shut and lock it, then yank oikawa out of your closet and throw open your window

♡ “uh y/n, your window is a bit small are you sure i can fit--”

-aGGrEssIVELY ShovINg hIm towARdS the wINDow “tHeRE’s NO oTher wAY”

♡ “woah could you handle me a bit more gently babe ;)” he asks as you’re pushing his ass thru the window

♡ “bro theyre gonna kill me if they find you dO NOT JOKE RIGHT NOW UFOHEJF”

♡ he’s rlly tryna stifle his laughter and keep jokes to a minimum because of how freaked out you are

♡ you give him a final shove thats so hard his face collides w the ground outside

♡ *whisper yells to you* “you did that on purpose!”

♡ you: *snickers*

♡ o wait

♡ picks up his shirt that was on your floor and throws it outside at his head

♡ “okAY pUT that on then LEAVE! bye bye, get home safe, let me know when you get back! <3″

♡ shuts window and draws blinds

♡ oikawa rubs his face a bit as he walks home. looks at his phone screen and sees his face with a huGe ASS BrUISe

♡ at home, oikawa’s nephew looks at him funny

♡ “why are you looking at me like that?”

♡ “what’s wrong with your face? also what’s that on your neck?”

yamaguchi

♡ both y’all were just walking together outside. on a date. in public.

♡ holding hands until yams quickly pulls away and jumps like 8 feet away from you

♡ “uhhh” you ask “whats wrong tadashi?”

♡ “oh, yknow, we’re, like, in public and, uh, its crowded!”

♡ “uhhh and?”

♡ nervously darts eyes left n right, then puts a hand up to shield his mouth and whisper in your ear, “didnt you say your parents/guardians were out right now? like around here?”

♡ so thatsss what this was about

♡ you try offering a small smile. “yes, buuuut im sure we’ll be okay, tadashi, i dont think theyre here, per se... like, we probably wont run into them”

♡ you reassuringly take his hand into your own and keep walking along, talking casually as you do

♡ yams bby is still quite alert and scanning the area as he listens to you talking

♡ he finally relaxes when nearly an hour passes and nothing’s happened

♡ you both take a break and sit at a small table, sharing a soft serve ice cream yamaguchi bought for you two

♡ you hold out the ice cream for him to take a lick, and as he’s about to do so

♡ “y/n? what’re you doing here??”

♡ yamaguchi stood up from his seat sO fast

♡ man sPRINTS away in fear of being caught with you by your parents/guardians

♡ honestly should care as much as yamaguchi about being secretive but lmaoo

♡ you greet your parent/guardian, telling them you were hanging out with a friend to discuss your school project at the library then came here to get ice cream. just now, said friend reallyyyy needed to go to the bathroom so they ran off

♡ “hmm, alright, we’ll see you at home then. don’t come back too late” and with that, they were on their way

♡ you pull out your phone to text yamaguchi “it’s all good they left”

♡ yams returns and shlumps in his seat with an exasperated sigh. “you said we wouldn’t run into them ;(”

♡ “wellllll you know i can just say your my friend and project partner, right?”

♡ the cutie sheepishly scratches the back of his neck “oh. right. ahaha.”

♡ “also you almost made me drop the ice cream”

♡ you offer the soft serve to him again but your hands fumbled and it actually fell

♡ nOOOOOOOOOOOO

♡ but dw, he buys y’all another one

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru #yamaguchi x reader #yamaguchi tadashi

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honeybeesiness · 3 years

Text

an unholy holiday.

‎slight spoilers for chapters 16+! there aren’t too many spoilers tho, so dw uwu.

word count: 1.7k.

‎

‎‎‎

one fried scorpion sandwich.

A week and a half had passed since Diavolo’s holiday announcement, and with each passing day you grew more and more excited. The butterflies gnawed at your stomach on a daily basis, and you had an extra pep in your step when you would traverse the hallway to your next class. Based on the not-so-subtle looks Diavolo had been giving Mammon at the meeting, Mammon was the one who suggested that they do all this for you. You didn’t think Mammon had it in him to think of others, and you sure as hell didn’t realize that he had picked up on the melancholic homesickness that had rooted itself within you. But you were appreciative of his effort regardless of whether you noticed it before or not; It just showed how much Mammon cared about your happiness. You would be sure to thank him when his selected day came.

Today was the fourteenth of December, and to make the whole event a lot more easier, Diavolo had given you and the others a break from school.

“Don’t students in the human world have a winter break as well?” Diavolo had said to you when you went to thank him for the nearly two weeks off. He wasn’t wrong, and you were glad that he was at least a little in-tune with the usual in human highschools.

On your nightstand, your schedule lay crumpled from being shoved into your pocket too many times, and you swiped it up immediately after you woke up. “Let’s see...” Today was your day with Beel, great! You wondered if he had anything planned, and if he didn’t, then you were sure you could think of something. Beel’s mind was always open as long as food was part of the plan, so there would be a lot of things you two could do. Could he balance? Ice skating might be fun... Did Devildom even have a rink? You’d have to ask Lucifer or Diavolo about that one later. But for now, breakfast was your next course of action before you and Beelzebub would head off.

Once your hair was thoroughly brushed and your “Formerly Anti-Lucifer League” hoodie (courtesy of Belphegor. You, him, and Satan all had identical hoodies in honor of the Lucifer harassment squad you were unwillingly dragged into) was slid onto your person, you kicked on your shoes and went to open the door, only to find that Beelzebub was on the other side, hand raised into a fist like he was just about to knock. How polite, you mused.

“G’mornin’!” You greeted happily with a smile. “You headin’ to breakfast too? Let’s go together!” You took a step forward, but the ginger stopped you in your tracks. “Huh?”

“We’re not going to the dining room just yet. I ha-” He started, but you cut him off.

“What?!” You blurt impulsively. “But Lucifer’s gonna kill us if we don’t go to breakfast! D’you remember what happened to Mammon that one time he skipped breakfast last month?! He looked DRAINED when he sat next to me in Devildom History class!” You had more to say, but you shut your mouth soon after you said your last statement. You sheepishly rubbed the back of your neck, “Ah, sorry for interuptin’.”

Beel’s eyes held no ill-will, and he only smiled. He liked hearing your voice, but sometimes you talked too much. He knew you were aware of the fact that you had a tendency to run your mouth, but at least you knew when to stop yourself.

“It’s okay.” He yawned, and you yawned in turn. You cursed at yourself internally for catching the yawn-disease. “But I got permission from Diavolo to skip.”

“Oooh, is this for our thing today?”

“Yep, but mine’s a surprise. Close your eyes.”

“Oh, fine.” You begrudgingly agreed, doing as he said and letting your eyelids swoop shut. You felt something touch your hand, and you narrowed it down to Beel holding your hand to guide you to wherever he was planning to take you. His hand was warm, contrary to your cold palms, and his practically wrapped around your small one.

The two of you left your doorway, and you heard him close it before you two for real headed off. You thought he would be taking you somewhere farther away, but it turns out that the steps you took were minimal, and you both had arrived before you knew it. You had an idea of where you were, because, well. Come on, it’s Beelzebub we’re talking about here! He always has his mind set on one thing and it was the most obvious thing in the world.

After you heard a heavy door close, you were once more pulled along, and said door was shut behind you.

“Okay, you can open your eyes now.”

And when you did, your suspicions were indeed correct. Beelzebub had taken you to the kitchen, as expected, and you sent him a curious look. “I knew it. What kind of stuff do you have in mind?”

“An eating contest.” He said simply, but at that your eyes widened so much that they nearly bulged out of your head. An eating contest?! Against Beelzebub of all people?! Oh, you were certain that you were going to lose. Why would he pick this out of everything else? Did he like seeing you suffer in defeat after he inhaled practically everything off of his plate in a matter of seconds?! You never took Beel to be the type to relish in your misery, since he was usually pretty peaceful compared to the rest of his brothers, so what was this all for?

You didn’t hesitate to voice your complaints, watching as he turned to rummage in one of the cabinets for who knows what. “An eating contest?! Beel, you know that I’m going to lose, so why’d you pick this?! Are you a...” You trailed off as the man pulled out two large plates, each holding a mountain of cookies, and balanced them on his palms. You were actually pretty surprised that he didn’t eat them already. Were they baked in advance? Did Beel make them? You didn’t know he could cook or bake, but maybe he could. There was also a possibility that either Luke or Barbatos made them, but you wouldn’t know until you asked. You licked your lips, suddenly aware of how hungry you were. “...Hey, wait. Those actually look pretty good.”

“Barbatos made them. I tried one right after the first batch came in, they’re really good.” Beel answered, and you swore you could see the drool forming at the corner of his mouth. He was just as eager to dig in as you were. “This isn’t an eating contest to see who would finish first, though.” He grinned. “I asked Barbatos to bake a jellybean into one of the cookies and randomly place it in the pile. Whoever eats the jellybean cookie first wins.”

You slapped your hands together and rubbed them up and down. Now this was fair! With Beelzebub being a fast eater, you’d imagine that he doesn’t exactly take the time to enjoy his food. You, on the other hand, were sensitive to any kinds of changes in flavor in food (you called yourself the “ultimate taste tester” because of it), and you were certain that you’d be able to tell a jellybean apart from a thick frosted sugar cookie. “Hell yeah, I’m in. What do we get if we win?”

“I want a few dozen fried scorpion sandwiches from Hell’s Kitchen if I win.” Beel sounded certain, but you weren’t surprised. You just hoped you had enough Grimm to pay for it all... “What do you want?”

You thought for a moment. “Hard question. Umm...” After thinking for a few more seconds, a devilish smirk appeared on your face, and Beel fidgeted nervously at the sight of it. If he was going to make you spend your own Grimm on a few dozen fried scorpion sandwiches, then you’re going to ask for something much, much worse as payback. “I want Levi’s Softbun password.”

Beelzebub visibly shuddered. Getting Levi’s Softbun password was next to impossible, since the otaku refused to write it down and had instead committed it to memory. That meant the only way anyone could get the password would be if Levi trusted the person enough to give it to them themselves. But the choice was made, and Beel knew that there would be no way to change your mind.

“You know how hard that’s gonna be.” He said, pushing one of the plates across the table to you. You caught it and positioned it in front of you.

“Yeah, which is why I asked! Are you ready?” You readied yourself, hand hovering over the plate. You looked up at Beel, and he nodded. “Go!”

You then proceeded to shove the first three cookies you could grab into your mouth. They were really good, a perfect representation of Barbatos’ immense skill, but they tasted a lot like the frosted sugar cookies you’d buy at Bullseye, which were just as delicious. Now that you think about it, your dad might like to try these, so maybe after this you could go and ask Barbatos for the recipe. You just hoped that the ingredients weren’t things that could only be found in Devildom...

The cycle repeated again and again. You both would munch on cookies without a single word, trying to find that one jellybean-infested cookie. You were starting to feel full, but you didn’t dare mention it. You had to feel confident in yourself in order to win! You were only able to breathe when you bit into a cookie and it was... unusually squishy. Pulling the treat away from your mouth and eyeing the middle, you gleefully noticed that there was, in fact, half a pink jellybean lodged into the baked dough.

Slamming your free hand against the table, you raised the cookie in the air. “I win! Levi’s Softbun password shall be mine!”

You stood triumphantly as Beelzebub only grinned, though the expression was a bit pained. “Congratulations.”

You took note of the way his smile was not the happiest almost immediately, and you placed a hand on your hip. “What’s that face for? Aww, are you having a hard time coming up with how to get that password? Ha, sucks to be you!”

After surveying the remnants of the baked dessert and popping the cookie in your hand in your mouth, you were beginning to think that maybe Christmas in Devildom wasn’t so bad after all, because this first impression sure was a good one. ‎‎ ‎‎‎‎

Softbun is the Obey Me! counterpart of Crunchyroll while Bullseye is just Target :”)

taglist: @wetleafwrites :: @midnight-moodlet

^^ first time doing a taglist, but just ask me if you want to be on it! i’ll be adding y’all on it starting with the day two post.

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sarohara · 3 years

Text

You both like friends.

You: heyo

Stranger: hey

You: wanna hear a really cool song?

Stranger: sure

You: hold up

You: name or link?

Stranger: name

You: okay

You: young the giant mind over matter

Stranger: okay hold up

You: take your time

Stranger: Damm he is getting into it

You: Yea right? ahah

Stranger: Yeah lmao

Stranger: lmk im prolly gonna regret this but let me use my best pick up line on you😂

Stranger: lmao

You: Go ahead 😂

Stranger: nah nvm I'm bouta say some dumb shit

You: I don't mind 😂

Stranger: wtf nah that shit is cheesy asf

Stranger: like cheesy cheesy

You: Cmon

You: I mean, it's up to u

Stranger: fuck im really gonna regret this alot

Stranger: okay okay game face on

You: 😂

You: you don't even know me, why would u regret it? ahahah

Stranger: Damm you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet

Stranger: bc it me I regret alot of things and now I'm regretting this shit rn

Stranger: fuck why do I gotta be so dumb

You: 20 letters of the alphabet? why?😂

Stranger: oh shit I'm dumb there's 26 letters how can I forget about u,r,a,q,t

You: AHAHAHAHAH

Stranger: See that shit is cheesy

You: I was gonna ask "what about the other 6?"

Stranger: Lmao found the other 6

Stranger: wait there is 27 u can get the d later😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Stranger: okay imma prolly go kill myself now

You: that's it? 😂😂😂😂

Stranger: I'm so so sorry u have to hear my dumbass

You: AHAHAHAHAHAH

You: You're freaking hilarious

Stranger: I hate my self now

Stranger: I'm so cheesy wtf

You: AHAHAHA

You: Stooop

Stranger: I'm never listening to tik tok ever again😂😭

You: AHAHAHA TIK TOK REALLY? 😂

You: I'm dying

Stranger: Okay no what I'm boerd and that app is okay

Stranger: and no o don't post i just scroll through

Stranger: i

You: Yea dw, I do the same😂

Stranger: Lmao im still so sorry u had to hear that

Stranger: Yo boi is running on like 2 brain cells rn

You: hey, shut up, it was cool 😂 I mean, you're funny

You: ahahahahahhaha

Stranger: funny who tf is funny everyone keeps on talking about funny but I still don't know who that mf is

Stranger: I wanna meet that dude he is obviously famous

Stranger: or her I don't really know yet

You: Who's obviously famous?

Stranger: that guy named funny

You: and well, it's funny just because it's not funny

You: AHAHHAHAHA OH MY GAWD

Stranger: yk its funny bc im dumb

Stranger: told you those 2 brain cells are kicking in

You: well, at least that made me laugh so..

Stranger: Fuck yeahhhhhhh

Stranger: look mom i did something finally

You: AHAHHAHAHA

Stranger: oh wait she is gone

You: Would she be proud?

You: ooooh

Stranger: She went to the grocery store 2 hours ago

Stranger: so we will find out when she gets back

Stranger: she will prolly still hate me but yk what thays cool

Stranger: thats

You: what mother doesn't hate her kid, right?

You: you're not alone trust me ahahaha

Stranger: Haha facts tho

You: what's ur name btw? lmao

Stranger: yk she told me that I was a mistake and yk what I'm not I won that race me I won

Stranger: all those other kids aren't here are they they are the mistakes

You: Wait, seriously?

You: I was kidding but maybe i was a mistake as well

Stranger: yes I won something and ik thats hard to belive but I did I did not get a trophy when I should have

You: ahahahhahahahahahah You won that race, you did it!

Stranger: wait they did give me trophy

You: I don't think so

Stranger: ur my trophy so I can finally show my trophy off okay that was bad I promise that was the last one

Stranger: Omg I'm going to hell

Stranger: why do I think of this shit

You: I wasn't expecting but 😂😂😂😂

Stranger: that sounded so much better in my head then I typed it out I was like wtf are you doing like are you fr fr bouta send that

You: You're fine 😂😂

Stranger: Okay I give you promise to shoot me if you would like

Stranger: I get i totally get it

Stranger: promision holly fuck my phone won't let me type

Stranger: Your like wtf he is dumb he obviously did not pass the second grade

Stranger: well jokes on you I am in the second grade

You: I'm dying actually, you're stupidly funny😂😂😂😂

You: Are u always like that?

Stranger: sadly yes do I want to be no

Stranger: God was like lets make this kid dumb asf and say cheesy things to ppl

Stranger: and I'm good at it

You: at least you're good at something, isn't awesome?😂😂😂

Stranger: obviously did you not read my pickup line like bro master piece

You: you know, you seem like that kinda person who gets embarrassed easily 😂

Stranger: Like God told me to use that pickup line on everyone so i did the only person that did not seem to care or even talk to me was the light poll outside my house

Stranger: Idk imma get it to talk to me one day

You: the light poll outside your house 😂

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: I've been trying for years can't seem to crack it yet

Stranger: I'm telling u one day its going to talk to me

You: I don't think u should do this but if u need me i'm down😂

Stranger: for what

Stranger: I should not do what

Stranger: oh shit

You: hey hey hey liste

You: listen*

Stranger: Okay im listening

Stranger: all I hear is music omg are u connect to my speaker

Stranger: Connected

You: ok so my family's calling me to lunch...i really gotta go, but can u keep in touch?

You: AHAHHAHAHA

Stranger: yes

You: yes?

Stranger: yes

You: yes!

You: what do u have?

You: idk even ur name

You: i'm sarah by the way

Stranger: Um Noah and snapchat insta Facebook venmo

Stranger: PayPal

Stranger: uber eats

Stranger: Yeah

You: ahahahhahaahahah

Stranger: I can text you on any of those

You: oh uber eats? really? i didn't now that

Stranger: yeah im ceo so I get all the secret stuff

You: ooooh you're ceo damn

You: anyway 😂

You: I do have insta & snap so..

Stranger: yeah did you know u can order food on there

Stranger: Lets do snapchat

You: yeah ofc i know that

You: ahahahhahaha

Stranger: oh you did

You: okay so it's scarval

You: ooops

You: scarvalhando

You: ***

Stranger: Boom added off uber eats

You: can we order food someday?

You: it would be awesome

Stranger: yes

You: okay noah

You: what's ur insta btw? i could follow u there as well

Stranger: I forgot I told u my name i was like omg I told a hacker my cheesy pick up line

Stranger: I'm fucked

You: 😂😂😂😂😂

You: Yeah omg i'm a hacker

You: I wish i were tho

Stranger: Oh shit please don't go through my history unless u want to see alot of cars like alot alot of cars

Stranger: And when u scroll down far enough you will see how to talk to a light poll

You: obsession with cars?😂😂

You: ooooh yeah okay

You: it seems nice, i mean, talking to a light poll, isn't?

Stranger: um a little😅

Stranger: idk it has not talked back yet

Stranger: I think its shy

You: oof that hurts 😂

You: okay okay okay

Stranger: I don't know find out on next weeks episode of dose it talk

You: 😂😂😂😂😂

Stranger: featuring little turtule and big fish rick

You: I'm gonna watch this

You: 😂

You: see ya on snap then?

Stranger: its gonna be lit and okay

You: i gotta gotta gotta gotta go

Stranger: by Sarah thank you for letting me use my cheesy pick up line on you

Stranger: bye

You: Anytime!!! 😂

Stranger: and u will hear more from my dumbass

Stranger: oh and ill lyk what my mom thinks

You: I hope 😂

You: okay i'll be waiting

You: Cya

Stranger: Okay byeeee

You: byeee

You: skip

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jackals-ships · 4 years

Text

one of you needs to take away my ability to write

GHB/Dog, cyber paleness

CW: uh. it's not like. sexual but some parts could be read as suggestive maybe? listen quadrants are a liil weird and im jus doing what the brain worms say 2

Dog: so update: i miss you >:c

Dog: remind me who's idea you wandering all the FUCK way off was?

Ghb: aww fuck best bud i miss you too

Ghb: BUT YOU UP AN KNOW I GOTTA DO HER IMPERIOUS'S BIDDING

Dog: bluhhhhhhhhhhh. bluh. bluh!!!!

Ghb: you gonna just spend all day bluhhin at me doll?

Dog: ….probably. maybe

Dog: anyway! hows your jobb goin?

Ghb: FUCKIN BORING HONESTLY. BUNCH OF FISH BITCHES TALKING ABOUT BULLSHIT I DONT RIGHTLY CARE ABOUT

Ghb: an guess. take a fucking guess who's here

Dog: OHHH let me guess hmmm. a certain drama queen fishy bastard?

Ghb: MOTHERFUCKIN. DUALSCAR. I SWEAR TO THE MESSIAHS I'M GONNA THROW HIM OUT THE AIRLOCK ONE OF THESE DAYS

Dog: no!!!! >:0 im the one that gets to murder him

Ghb: fine but i get to watch

Dog: pfft yeah okay deal babes, but you have to come back first >:/ i miss you??

Ghb: DONT YOU WORRY LIL BROTHER ILL BE BACK SOON. HOWVE YOU BEEN AT THE HIVE BY YOUR LONESOME? I KNOW SOMETIMES YOUR PAN UP AN RUNS AWAY FROM YA

Fg: aslfhsjo. listen,,,,,,

Ghb: im listenin :0) you know i always am <>

Dog: 1st off i hate you <>

Dog: 2nd off: i hate you! <><><>

Dog: 3rd off:

Ghb: HMMMM?

Dog: t h i r d off there's a v small tiniest of chances that a buoy has been struggling as it were

Dog: B O Y GOD DAMN IT THE BASTARD IS IN MY BRAIN

Ghb: awww best friend :0( you wanna glub about it?

Dog: FIRST OFF I LITERALLY HATE YOU

Dog: second again I'm. listen. i would not like,,,object to a feelings jam and or a pile abt it because my brain has been really dumb

Dog: BUT LIKE

Dog: I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY SO ITS FINE!!! no more typing im fine!!!!

Dog: you put those fingers down >:0 im f i n e

Ghb: HEY NOW BEST BUDDY, DEEP BREATH

Ghb: deeep breath for me most miraculous buddy of mine

Ghb: I CAN DUCK OUT OF HERE EARLY :0)

Ghb: her imperious condescension and her boytoy can just up and fucking deal

Ghb: JUST GIVE ME A FEW MINS ALRIGHTY BEST BUD?

Dog: akdhhsksl,,,,,,okay,,,,

-----

Ghb: honk honk honk :0)

Dog: ughh you're horrible i changed my mind go back,

Ghb: AWW YOU LOVE ME THOUGH ;0) <>

Dog: LIES AN SLANDER???

Dog: <><><><>

Ghb: so how you feelin lil bro? your pan still up an botherin you?

Dog: im! fine akdgk dw im okay my mini melt down was dumb bc i am jus a lil dumb,

Ghb: >:0( HEY NOW DONT YOU GO AN TALK ABOUT YOURSELF LIKE THAT

Ghb: youre not dumb, your pan just sometimes likes to scurry away without you an you know better than to say that nonsense about your fine self

Ghb: BEST BE UP AN GETTING YOUR APOLOGY ON

Dog: you come in my messaging,,,,you make me be nice to my me,,,,i hate you. but fine @ myself im sorry for being mean to my me Again

Ghb: thank you miraculous bro! that was a mighty fine apology :0) apology accepted?

Dog: akdhsk yes apology accepted an junk if it'll make you be quiet

Ghb: NOPE! :0)

Ghb: where you at best lil diamond mine? curled up on the pile?

Dog: there is a non zero chance i am yes,,,an i uh. added to it a lil

Ghb: OH?

Dog: i hate youuuuu

Dog: i uh. stole one a your jackets,,,,im cuddled up in it. i look like im in a pale porno GOD

Ghb: SHIT BROTHER THAT IS

Ghb: absolutely the cutest fuckin thing i've heard today :0)

Dog: shut!!!!

Dog: what uh. what about you?

Ghb: IM ALL LAYING ON A COMFY ASS PILE MYSELF, STOLE SOME EXTRA BLANKETS FROM SOME EMPTY ROOMS

Ghb: wish you were here though so i could warm a brother up ;0)

Dog: jfhjffk o..oh?

Dog: wh. how would you start?

Ghb: FIRST ID GET ALL COMFY NEXT TO YA, ALL CURLED UP AROUND YOUR TINY LIL SELF

Ghb: you're always so fuckin cold all the time, colder than the fish even

Dog: my body is simply a Bastard tbh. hfjk that sounds so nice tho,,,

Ghb: YEAH? WHY DONT YOU CUDDLE DOWN IN THE BLANKETS FOR ME, GET YOURSELF NICE AN TOASTY

Dog: mmmm,,,,,,yeah okay that's. that's good

Ghb: IT IS ISN'T IT? FEELS SO GOOD TO BE WARM

Ghb: you deserve to feel good lil bro, an id make you feel even better if i was there, rub your arms an get some of that good good heat in there, maybe even work out some of the knots in your shoulders, i know you keep a lot of tension there. it's like a couple a rocks in there

Dog: hhh y,,yeah i do huh?

Dog: id uh. id want to squirm around eventually so i can kiss at your jawline an neck. an maybe bite a lil? its. it's fun

Dog: not like ROUGH bites like i do with crofish but uh, lil nips. on, on your earfins too if that's okay

Ghb: ITS SO FUCKIN CUTE, YOU GOT THOSE LIL BABY FANGS IT FEELS LIKE A LIL PURR BEAST NIPPIN AT ME

Ghb: and it tickles something fierce when you get at my fins! id have to get you back in the ribs >:0)

Dog: jhdjfkf NO RUDE!! i changed my mind id bite you So Hard

Ghb: AWW YOURE SO MEAN TO ME WHEN IM TRYING TO TREAT YOU SWEET

Ghb: now a question for you: how do you want me to wind you down my most wonderful lil buddy?

Dog: maybe uh. fuck, damn

Ghb: SHH TAKE YOUR TIME SWEET THING YOU CAN DO IT

Dog: i uh. i like it when you pet me. an talk all sweet to me, but like that kinda mean sweet? s. smean,,,

Ghb: aww fuck i can certainly do that sweet thing :0)

Ghb: here im even gonna get all quiet for you, you like it when i talk soft with you huh? you get all blushy when i do with that miracle red on your cheeks

Ghb: why don't you touch yourself for me, real gentle. spread your hand out on your stomach an press down jus a lil bit

Ghb: i could break you right in half if i wanted on account of you being so little

Ghb: but i won't because im so pale for you sweetling

Dog: hhhhhfjgk shit

Ghb: aww look at you, that's my good boy

Ghb: you get flustered so easy, you never really let anyone treat you kind like you deserve huh?

Dog: noo,,,,it feels. weird hhf

Ghb: we'll were gonna have to change that aren't we? im just gonna have to treat you real soft til you learn it's safe

Ghb: fuck you're such a pitiable lil thing aren't you. why don't you trace your hand up your chest for me, just a lil bit of claw

Ghb: and then cup your cheek real soft

Dog: o. oh,,hm

Ghb: i wanna hold your face lil diamond, nuzzle up in your neck and tell you how precious you are to me

Ghb: just let yourself relax now okay? let me do the work for once <>

Ghb: you're such a pitiable lil doll, every time i look at you i feel like my blood pusher is about to stop. and you don't even know it? you don't even know what a sweetly pathetic lil thing you are? like a teeny lil purrbeast

Ghb: and you trust me so much, you shouldn't do that my lil diamond. you've seen the kind of things i can do. and yet i put my hand on your head and you melt like you ain't ever been touched gentle once in your whole life

Ghb: fuck i love to see that, i love you. im gonna keep telling you that til it gets in your pan proper

Ghb: i love you, i love you. im gonna take care of you always you hear me? you're always gonna be safe with me, im not gonna let a single damn person lay a hand on you without your permission

Ghb: you're probably starting to get a lil tired, i know you get all worked up and crash so fast. you gonna rest now lil diamond mine?

Dog: hhh y. yeah,,

Dog: m pale for you <>

Ghb: pale for you too lil lamb <> pale as bones and stardust :0)

Ghb: just a few more days and ill be home to pile with you proper

#jackals barks #self ship #okay 2 rb but again Dont Be Weirr #*weird

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jedward5ever · 3 years

Text

Jacob and Edward

hey guys. just a little something. Jacob and Edward if you’re into that.

setting: cullen’s house they’re studying or smthn bella hasnt moved in yet

edward: so what did you get for number 5?

Jacob: uhhhhh…..i didnt do it

edward: ok. why?

Jacob: i don't really get this whole math thing...can u explain?

e: oh that’s okay. well first of all this is biology. so in question 5 they’re asking what is the first step of glycolysis, do you know what glycolysis is?

J: uhhhhh i turn into a wolf sometimes

e: *startled, looks away.* uh? ok well glycolysis is basically when glucose is split (glucose is sugar and like……. sweet) and the final product is two pyruvate molecules

J: *turns into a wolf* aaaaawooooooooooooo

e: *slaps him across the wolf face, once then twice* what the FUCK are you doing. you cant do ths in my house and u broke my antique glass table i stole from bulgaria

J: *turns back into a person* sorry bro i do that sometimes when im nervous

e: ………. *lights down spotlight on edward for brief monologue* i… i feel so guilty i slapped him to be or not to be? then i should aboiplogize *lgihts back on*... hey jacob im sorry is lapped u….. why r u nervous’

J: its ok bro…..im nervous bc...no i cant say it...its embarrassing

e: *caresses jacobs’ face where he slapped him* its ok. im sorry. sometimes i let my anger get the better of me

J: its ok ...its just that….i..i….

e: *starts getting mad* speak the fuck up. what are u saying

J: *mumbles something*

e: *starts meditating to calm down* what.

J: i said…..i….l...ll

e: WHAT YOU STUPID MUTT

j:......i….love……

e: what the fuck r u trying to say *flexes his hands ina nger*

J: i love y- *dies of unknown cause*

e: Hi, I’m edward cullen. im trained in first aid. can i help u? *no answer* hello? are you awake? bystander *points to alice* please contact ems adn let them know someone is about to be Turned *bites jacob*

J: *becomes a vampire but also still werewolf* bro……

e: ok. so do you understand glycolysis now?

J: yeah i do thanks bro that helped a lot

e: no problem, now onto question 6. wait. this isn’t a bio question. it says…. no i can’t read this filth

J: what does it say man

e: it… it *face turns red then green then purple* it…. ugh this is disgusting. you read it

J: i didnt want to tell u this bc i thought you would make fun of me but…..i cant read...

e: u fucking illiterate bastard. fine ill read it *clears throat* fuck i didnt copy pzste it hold on

Lmssoaooao dw ok it wont let me but *jacob x edward fanfiction*

LAMOAOAK

J: dude…...thats in the textbook????

e: yeah. its fucking disgusting. how did they know everything about us… actually wait it look s like someone wrote this by hand…

J: thats so weird…..who would have done that….so gross….

e: lemme check whose textbook this is. *flips to front*................................................................. *looks up at jacob with golden orbs and squints his eyes* it says its ur textbook

J: thats c-c-crazy bro ,,,,, i cant even read hahaha how could i write that hahaha

e:....... you fucking liar. yeah u can read. is this seriously how u thin k of me? of us? ur sick in the fucking head. i woulc neve.r;..... never fucking do that with u

J:....is that...is that realy how you feel?

e: *inexplicable rage* obviously u weirdo stupid werewolf dog *starts choking jacob*

J: *actually likes being choked* oh no…..oh no…..don't do this…. e: *notices hes into it* AHRHGHGHHGHGHHG (in rage) *choke slams him into the broken glass table* YOURE SO GROSS

J: *thinks* he will never love me the way i love him...maybe i should just end it all…..

e: *freeze frame…. lights down spotlight on edward again... monoglogu* wait…. what the fuck……… is that smell? i just realized i cannot read his mind? what the fuck is going on…………. *slideshow in the background with informational voice: it turns out that one of jacob’s sperm containing renesemee was i dont know hanging out which was already pyscihologucally connected to bella and stole bella’s power of smelling good and no thoughts then transferred it to jacob making him have those powers* *spotlight end* jacob…….. why the fuck…. cant i read ur mind… why do u smell so good…

J: i didnt know u could read minds….maybe i just don't have thoughts…..

e: everyone has fucking thoughts.l…… but i cant… read urs…

J: i don't know…….has that ever happened before?

e: no… *intense eye contact*

J; *blushes and looks down* im sorry im different

e: *looks away cus jacob looked away, then accidentally looks down* bro… is that….

J: no bro… its not what it looks like!!!

e: *stares at him then throws up to the side* i cant believe this… ur a nasty dog but i cant help but feel….. attracted to u

J: youre...attracted to me……

e: I dnt’ know why……. dont worry i cant get it up i have no blood

J: wait….we cant fuck??? Im out of here *turns to leave*

e: wait. there is a way…… *flashback on the slideshow to when edeawrd drank jacobs blodo to vampirize him this slideshow is viewable by edward and jacob*

J: well tell me,,,how do we fuck?????

e: u tell me

J: i don't know youve been a vampire longer than i have

e: bruh. so????? i follow the christian beliefs

J: stupid idiot we cant fuck then

e: *looks away* i guess. not like i wanted to anyways

J: you know what? I don't have to deal with this *turns to leave* call me when you want some dick

e: *when jacob is more than like 10m away suddenly intense pain hits them both* theres… something i forgot to tell u. when i vampirized u….. iut basically means ur bonded to me for like 1 month….

J: so youre telling me….im stuck with u for a month….and we cant fuck

e: well yeah more or less

the end

BREAKOUT ROOMS ENDED CLASS IS OVER LMAAOAOAOAGood rp bro SUCH A GOOD CLASS i agreed exactly to be continued

LOL EXCELLENT STORY it was honestly amazing great twists and turns, the tensini was high cant wait to see where this goes hope rob enjoys <3

setting: school assembly, principal andrew is doing a presentation on how to stay safe from these mysterious killings….. (vampires and werewolfs)

jacob and edward sit next to each other cus they cant be 10m apart.

e: ugh. u again.

J: stop talking as if this isnt ur fault

e: *whispering* ur the one who fucking died for no reason

J: ok and?? You didnt have to bring me back

e: *roll eyes* u know exactly why i had to

J:.........what do you mean…….

e: *looks at him with golden orbs then looks away* shut up. principal andrew is talking..

J: *is listening to every word andrew says bc he is so amazing but keeps looking at edward*......

e: * is listening and doesn’t notice j acob looking at him, then speaks to jacob without looking at him* look… they’re talking about killings… is this ur fucking tribe’s doing?

J: what the fuck no way its your stupid fucking family we keep our end of the agreement

e: *inhales sharply, then grips jacob’s leg with vampire strengthz* dont u fucking talk about my family like that u stupid mutt *people begin looking in their direction*

J: *is kind of turned on but would never admit it* stop being fucking gay people are staring

e: *notices people are staring and releases jacob, embarrassedly* just shut the fuck up and listen. *andrew begins talking about A CURFEW… they cannot leave their houses or some shit like basically e and j have to be together*

J:wait….how the fuck are we supposed to stay in our houses if we cant be away from each other….im not about to live with your weird incest family…

e: *enraged again, grabs the back of jacob’s neck at the pressure point* what the fuck. did. i say. about. talking. shit. about. my family. take that back right fucking now

J: *smirks* what are you gonna do about it…..be more gay?

e: *even more rage* i am not fucking gay —- cut off by andrew: Edward, Jacob, what the fuck are yall doing? *everyone turns to look, spotlight on them*

J: im sorry mr andrew….its just that edward attacked me…..hes so in love with me and he keeps assaulting me...im not gay though

andrew: oh thank god (he thought they were gay). edward, jacob immediately separate.

J:uhhhhhhhh i think we have to talk though…..sort this out with words…

e: *is extremely embarrassed to have everyones attention on him* Yes sir, andrew. i mean principal andrew. *grabs jacob by the scruff of his neck and drags him to the hallway and then slams him in to the lockers like bullies in the 80s* why the FUCK did u embarass me like that

J: bro you embarrassed urself…..you were all over me….just say youre into me itll be easier for both of us

e: ALL OVER YOU? *slams him again*

J:yeah like ur all ove me right now you cant keep your cold dead hands off of me

e: *moves back as if burned, walking away backwards while also throwing up, but then he is too far and they are both in intense pain*

J: dude calm down lets talk about this shit….we gotta make a plan

e: *refusing to come closer, so still are in pain* …...plan… for … what

J: the fucking…..cerfew…. Idiot…. Come back…..

e: *doesn’t come back, vomits once more* no… u fucking… smell…. what do … u mean…. the curfew…

J: were you not….listening to andrew… we have to stay inside our houses….but how can we do that if we cant be apart from each other

e: *looks away angrily* ….. we… will have to… stay apart… in pain… i guess…

J: you’re so fucking stubborn you did this to me and now youre making me suffer too

e: … i… don’t… care…. *walks even further, causing them more pain*

J: were only like 20m apart….and it already feels like this…..you think we can handle more thN THIs forever???? Youre so fucking stupid

e: *glares at him but doesnt come closer* shut. the … fuck up…. you fucking…. dog…

J: *steps closer* make...me…..

e: *doesn’t see him coming cus eyes are closed* shut…. up… stop… talking…

J: *steps closer* i said…...make….me

a/n: how fucking close are they now huh uhh like 3 ft apart ok

e: *smells jakob cus he stinks and opens eyes* GET AWAY FROM ME

J: make me *smirks*

a/n: LMFAO THANKS i need to formulate a perfect response lemmet hink of course take all the time you need

e: what the fuck do you mean make me? i will launch u across this hallway wolf boy

J: do it then…..

e: *grabs him by the neck again and slings him*

J: *dies*

e: *notices.( a/n: sigh) spotlight… on …. edward… monoglogue: i-........i cant believe i fucking killed him again…. the pain is gone but… literally wtf….. i…. grrr. *edward looks into the distance, pondering. then silently goes to jacob.* i have to save him. *begins cpr and mouth to mouth breathing*

J: *was never actually dead only pretending like romeo and juliet* *smirks*

a/n: I FUCKING KNEW IT LOL

e: *notices the smirk, then realizes he was alive the whole time* what the FUCK jacob? *slaps him across the face* you dirty bastard

a/n KALMASKDAOJDIJDOASOISO

J: so i guess you don't hate me that much huh?

e: *slaps him again* i thought you fucking died. i couldn’t let andrew discover a dead body in the hallway. and. and anyway i was going to eat you afterwards so yeah take that

J: yeah thats so believable…… just say you love me...i wont judge you *gay slur*

e: *is about to rage again* im literally. fucking straight. i love…. va-vgagag gaggaga *starts vomiting* WHAT THE FUCK DO U WANT FROM ME

a/n IM CRYING HAHA

J: dude...its 2020...its ok to be gay...you don't have to pretend to be someone youre not,,,, i aceppt you

e: *once again, he can’t help but be attracted to jacob bc of the science i explained in the previous thing, stares depeply into jacob’s orbs* what… do… you… want… from …. me … u fucking… dog

J: *stares back into edwards orbs* i just….i just want you to be happy…

e: *looks away* i am… happy. away from you.

J: *looks away from edward looking away* if thats really how you feel…...fine...ill take the pain….

e: *once a fucking gain. spotlight. monologue* in all my 118 years…. ive caused so much pain and destruction… should i really put this on poor jacob’ why did i see children see i mean sayy omg on poor jacob’s shoulders. no i cant.* no. no. we can. stay together. *teeth clenched* for. the curse, of course. so. you don’t have pain. not that. i . like u.

a/n TEARS MAN WHY IS EDWARD A TSUNDERE I DONT KNOW

J: fine...for the curse….whatever helps you sleep at night..

e: *touches jacob’s shoulder (only cus theyre so close) and pushes him back* yeah. you can stay at. my house. i guess

a/n: (u have to say no so ed goes to jacobs werewolf hq)

J: no way i cant be around all those incesty vampires its creepy as fuck you come to my place

e: *gasp* what the fuck. youre literally a VAMPIRE too. i…. i dont wanna go to ur place…

J: physically im a vampire but mentally im still a wolf and i will not be around so many dead sister fuckers

e: ….. i don’t wanna be around u stinky werewolves…. Unless….no.

J: what man???

e: *is disgusted firstly, by werewolves, and the way jacob speaks so heterosexually irks him* nothing. can’t we, like. get a hotel room.

J: that might not be a bad idea…..but im poor remember

e: *facepalms then says annoyedly* fine. we’ll go to ur fucking wolf den. but u have to make it up to me.

J: ……...how?

e: *rolls eyes* i don;’t fucking know. u tell me. it better be good cus i will never get that werewolf smell off of me.

J: i mean…...we could like…..if youre down…….

e: *squints at him* what.

J: we could……..you know…. ..

e: *understands, slaps him across the face for millionth time poor jacob probably has permanent hand prints* EW.

J: like i don't want to because im not gay but id do it for you

e: … you know. i used to be able to read ur mind up until a few weeks ago. so i do know what the fuck u thought of me…. what u thought—- *nearly vomits again*

J: but that was a long time ago...before we got close….now you made me straight

e: *extremely offended* what the fuck? you dont think im hot anymore?

J: why does it matter???? Youre not gay right

e: *hits him again* im not FUCKING gay. and it matters. b ecause, because,m because because because bcuae buse bcueacuab euacaubeucae BECAUSE. everyone thinks im hot. and if ur around him[edward] for the next month, u also need tot hink im hot.

a/n wtf is him oh of course a/n: edward is refering tohimself in third person

J: maybe if you were nicer to me id like you more...stop fucking hitting me and vomitting

a/n: lAMFPAOO,FP

e: *looks away in shame, then sighs shakily brings his cold vampirical hands to jacob’s bruised face* look. my hands. are so.. fucking cold they will heal ur bruies *doesnt look him in the eyes*

a/n HYDUHFUIEHWOIHOIDW

J: *doesnt make eye contact* thanks….i guess…

e: *keeps using vampircal cold hands to heal, then they accidentally make eye contact, edward looks away*

J: you don't have to look away…..

e: *glares back at him just to prove a point* fine.

J: *stares into edwards orbs with kindness and love* ……….

e: *stares back and recognizes what jacob is feeling, whispers* ur fucking gay

J: maybe…..but so are you…….

END

BREAKOUT ROOM ENDINGWHY THEY HAVE A COUNTDOWN. OK THIS SCENE ENDS HERE NEXT IS JACOB’S HOUSE ok it was really good today honestly excellent a/n are a perfect edditon except im losing my ability to type and spell we at 3k words BRUH LMOAAOAOA i love us ok bye

dun dun dun dun (tear in my heart). LMAO listening to it oh good u start bruh its ur hosue

setting: jacob’s den thing, also we need to have my immortal descriptions

J: so make yourself at home i guess…..

e: *carrying black bag with mcr pins on it , looks around in disgust* ….. u live like this?

J: yeah man sorry im not rich like you are

e: *is definitely thinking something offensive towards native people but disguised as against werewolves as stephanie meyer always does* ok…. so where am i sleeping..

a/n HUIHBUFOEWGEUI did i lie absolutely not

J;well like……...theres only one bed…

e: *mutters* could this get any more cliche. *notmutter* k. well im definitely not sleeping next to you. mind if i amazon prime a (whatever those fake small bed things are called)

J: if you want but theres not much room,,,,whatever,,,,,,*is disappointed*

e: *ignores jacob, typing on his phone to order the thing*

(Now Jacob’s family comes in I forgot their names but they’re here) billy is dad i think

J: oh hey guys this is edward he has to stay for a bit

Billy: *smells his ugly vampire smell* did you bring one of them….into my home????

edward: *visibly uncomfortable and surrounded by the werewolves, whispers to jacob* what the fuck… i didn’t know your whole pack was gonna be here…

J: *whispers back* this is our headquarters man….i didnt think theyd be so early thought *soeaks to fam* im sorry but a lot has happened….its necessary

a/n: k so im billy now? If u want

billy: *stares at edward for a while, assessing him.*

edward: …

billy: *sniffs him, then decides its ok* well then. if you say so jakey boy *claps edward on the shoulder* no biting ok?

edward: .

J: haha yeah….so were gonna go to my room now…..come on lets go

e: *glad to leave* yeah lets go right now

(The fam watches them go and its so awkward)

(in jacobs room)

J: so that was terrible but we’ll just stay up here as much as possible so that doesnt happen again

e: ugh that was so embarrassing… that was like when i introduced my ex gf to my family…. *realizes what he said* EW , not that WE are like that cus ewww gross *slaps jacob out of embarrassment*

a/n HAHAHAHAHA

J: *uncomfortable bc was slapped but also jealous of ex and sad ed don't like him like that* no man i get it….it happens all the time...cuz i bring so many chicks back here...not that we’re like that…..

e: yeah, obviously. *hand twitches in urge to slap him, but stops himself…. is upset because jacob brings back so many bitches and is jealous. so he goes to face the wall in anger* i need to ….. do./.. my chemistry homework

J: yeah whatever...i gotta do stuff too,,,,,im really busy….*looks down*

e: *is doing the chemistry homework standing up and super fast cus he’s been to high school for over 100 years, mutters* this is so easy ugh

J: why are you even in school anyways like you could be anywhere why do you want to learn the same shit over and over again

e: ………..Well if you woudl really like to know, it’s not the same thing over and over again. the school system has changed a lot since 1918 so it is actually pretty refreshing. i also like seeing how the trends change but are basically the same so yeah i do enjoy going to school, i don’t wanna work everyday because that’s different everyday plus school is easy for me and i get so many bitches cus im sexy.

J: yeah thats cool i guess *mad bc he gets so man bitches* but like if you get so many bitches...where are they???? Why do you hangout with me all the time???

e: *slaps jacob* BECAUSE IF WE ARENT CLOSE TOGETHER WE WILL FUCKING DIE DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE CURSE OR SOMETHING

J: THE CURSE DOESN’T STOP YOU FROM HAVING BITCHES THO…..ITS ALMOST LIKE UR A FUCKING LIAR

e: *gasps, backhand slap now* OF COURSE I HAVE BITCHES. DID YOU FORGET I CAN READ MINDS. EVEN TEACHERS WANT ME. AND I KNOW THAT YOU DID TOO, AT one ponitn… .gerkgorjgopjfpwjgwprjgpwojgwo *slaps jacob again so he can’t see that edward is blushing*

J: yeah i did like you…….*turns away so edward doesnt see him cry*

e: *not even looking in his direction cause he’s embarrassed* um. ….. *stomach growl*.... oh….

J: oh do you need some fucking blood or something

e: *disgusted that he is being perceived* ugh. im a vegetarian, so i need to…. go hunting… probably

(but they on sacred land or smthn)

J: first of all thats not what vegetarian means idiot and second of all you cant fucking hunt here its sacred and so are all the animals that live here….so now what???

e: *rolls eyes and is for sure thinking racist things* ugh. lemme call alice maybe she can bring me some stored blood… *calls but there’s no service* what the FUCK…. i hate this place… lemme amazon prime some blood…

J: oh sorry you cant ubereats your fucking blood...and youre so addicted to your phone...maybe try living in the moment lke the rest of the world

e: *zones out for a second at the mention of ike aka the character someone in kelvin yo’s story plays in super smash bros, then jolts back to reality* i am living in the moment. you know whats happening in this moment? im fucking hungry bruh and i need blood. so u better get me some before i fucking start feeding and then ur dads gonna be mad

J: you. Cant. feed. Here. why is that so hard to understand….lets just fucking leave and you can go hunt or whatever

e: *eyes flash with anger and turn whatever the colour is when they are hungry* im. hungry. NOW. *starts doing whatever hungry vampires do like intense breathing*

J: dude…..calm down….*nervous*....we’ll get you some blood or whatever *backs into a wall*

e: don’t tell me to fucking calm down *supa hungry rn, then attacks jacob by slamming him OUT of the wall, yeah u read that right, the wall is broken now how sad* GIMME BLOODDDDDD *edward tries to bite jacob*

J: BRUH U BROKE MY FUKING HOUSE…..AND I DON'T HAVE BLOOD IM A FUCKING VAMPIRE TOO REMEBER??????? I CANT HELP U

e: *too hangry to hear him, bites into jacob’s neck with his fangs. out of his neck comes this disgusting sloshy black thing cus he no have blood* UGH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS YOU TASTE DISGUSTING *spits it out onto the grass, then sees its black and calms down* waht the fuck………… *looks at broken wlal* huh….

J: oh are you back now???? Yeah i don't have fucking blood and you tried to kill me and my house….what the fuck man it always comes down to you killing me….i don't think i can do this anymore……

e: …….look. it’s not my fault. honestly you’re exaggerating things. i was hungry. i can’t help it and you should have known better than to be around me. and im still hungry. so.

J: wow so we’re victim blaming now????? No man i said i cant do this…..you never think about me

e: *rolls eyes uncomfortably, then notices jacob’s neck is still bleeding* well. im not. victim blaming. but. you’re still. bleeding. so my vampircal saliva is actually. healing . u.m . proertries. so umeme asmdaosmdsomaodmw. let. me . help . uoi. iok omo kok

a/n you ok man? i told u im losing brain cels

J: how can i trust you????? Everytime i trust you i die…….

e: *rolls eyes and then puts his hand on jacob’s face (like his face not the side of it)* just let . me . do my. fucking job *licks him*

J: *flinches but gives in* youre so fucking gay...if you wanted to makeout you could have jjust said so...i would have said no tho

e: *slams jacob’s head into the ground so powerfully that there is a jacob shaped crater in the ground* IM FUCKING HEALING YOU. *the bite mark has healed, slams jacob into the ground again* YOU STUPID FUCK IM NOT GAY

J: *dies*

e: *mad, spits on the ground next to jacob* i know ur not fucking dead. ur a vampire and a werewolf for fucks sake. get up.

J: *still dead*

e: you can’t just use the dead card everytime u want me to be nice to you. cause i wont. i literally wont.

J: *just a fucking corpse*

e: *stares at his dead body for a bit.* jacob. get the fuck up.

J: *not alive*

e: *hears billy’s wheelchair coming up* spotlight monolgoeu: well fuck. i can’t let him see i just killed his son for the third time. fuckfuckfuck what can i do i don’t have time to hide the body so… so ….. ok well hes a corpse and im a corpse too so this won’t be that weird

BREAKOUT ROOM ENDNEDINDENIEI TO BE CONTINUED YEAH RIGHTAHHAHAHHA JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD PART HOW EXCITING FOR TOMROW YES I CANNOT WAIT

*continuing edward monologue*

e: yeah … its totally not weird…. its cause i because because because because because because because because i need a cover thats why im doing totally not gay *kisses jacob*

(billy comes out from behind the house)

J: *obviously wasnt dead, wakes up, kisses edward back* oh hey dad

Billy: *supportive of his gay son* hey i thought i heard a fight *looks up* what the fuck happened to the wall

e: *sees jacob isn’t dead anymore, thinks that his kiss brought him back to life like in snow white, shocked* …….hhhh…….. wall?

J: sorry i don't know how that happened shits crazy ya know

Billy: *nods wisely* i do know…...well you boys have fun *leaves*

e: *stares at jacob in shock* …..do you….. remember… what happened before u died?

J: *does but wants to fuck with edward* wh….what? i…...i...d..died??????

e: *rolls eyes* yeah u fucking did. i brought u back though.

J: how…..???

e: ugh *hits him* obviously i just bit you to … bring u back.. to life….

J: so im already a vampire…...but now youve made me a double vampire??? Or does it cancel out and im human????

e: i dont fucking know. i— *remembers the curse and hopes jacob does not bring it up because the curse should double since jacob is double vampire* but don’t worry about the curse. obviosuyl .

J: oh does it double now that im a double vampire???

e: NO. and anyways. im still fucking hungry. so. be a good host and get me some mf food

J: yeah just let me check my fridge for some fucking blood…...idiot…..lets go somewhere so u can be a fake vegetarian

e: hmph. well let’s see if u can keep up. *runs away at vampire speed into the woods*

J: *turns into wolf and uses wolf and vampire speed and follows* awoooooooo

(the curse not acting up meaning theyre within 20m of each other)

e: *looks behind and sees jacob can keep up* slowpoke

ROB ENTERED MY CHAT YA SAME LOL ANYWAYS

J: who tf u callin slow *runs so fast that he almost next to edward*

e: *getting tired cus he is low on blood therefore energy* grrrrrrr

J: look we’re off sacred ground now go catch a deer or something

e: . im tired. u get something for me.

J: so now im ur personal chef?????? No get ur own shit

e: ive killed u three times already. dont make it a fourth.

J: *mumbles* whatever *leaves and smirks knowing he only actually died once* *gets a fucking deer or some

BREAKOUT ENDED????????? Ing WTF WHY WHO CARES LETS CONTINUE BRUH WHAT IS GOING ON DID U HEAR ERIC AND TINA THAT WAS SO AWKWARD I HATE THIS CLASS SO MUCH LILY LTIERALY WHAT BURH i do npt ccare at all

k anyways continue

J; here take this eat up

a/n: god i forgot how fucking ugky tina’s voice is fucking right

e: *bites into the deer, drinking the blood and makes direct eye contact w jacob* nomnomnom

J: feel better now?

e: *disgusted and spits blood at jacob’s feet* nomnomnomnom

J: *looks away cuz this is gross* the shit i do for u……

e: *slurps disgustingly* nomnomnom nom nOMnomON griwjodk

a/n wait lets hope we together obviously no omfg these bitches are talking im not speaking to u im puttig yall on mute good

J: *vomits cuz the noises r gross* could u be a little more quiet?????

e: *puts down the deer* dont fucking vomit in front of me and my food

J: your food is so much more disgusting than my vomit

e: then don’t look at me. *keeps drinking*

J: *rolls eyes*......

e: nomnomnomnom… *puts down again* i said dont fucking look at me.

J: *says nothing but keeps looking*

e: *slurp* u want some then?

J: absolutely not

e: *rolls eyes* i know ur a carnivore, come here

J: nah i don't want that shit youve fuccking destroyed it its disgusting

e: *the deer isnt destroyed like literally one puncture, but edward gets mad at the accusation, so he rips off the backlegs of the deer* i know u want some *throws the legs at jacob*

(catch it with ur mouth PLS Like a wolf)

a/n LMAO like throw drink but then u swallow it all dark blue hell post YES

J: *catches it with his mouth perfectly while making intense eye contact* …..

e: fucking mutt…. *goes back to drinking the blood* nomnomnomnomnom

J: *eats deer leg like it chicken wing* this shit isnt even good….

e: ur the one who hunted it.

J: whatever tommorow we going to mcdicks

e: what the fucks a mcdicks

J: bro…….youve never had a shit burger……..

e: why would i eat shit … in a burger…

J: of course your small mind could never understand….ugh

e: *spits blood in a perfect arch that lands right on jacobs shirt* dont call me small minded ever again

J: dude what the fuck…..and ill call u what i want

e: *finished drinking* no the fuck u won’t. *gestures to deer* u gonna eat my leftovers or what

J: i will not...and what the fuck r u gonna do about it???

e: do about what

J: me calling you small minded idiot

e: *slaps him* shut the fuck up

J: *turns the tables and slaps edward* it doesnt feel so good huh???

a’=./n: HAHAHAHHA

e: *holds his face in shock* WHHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT????????????? MY VAMPIRE HAND DOESNT HURT AS MUCH U FUCKING IDIOT

J: yeah ok but i slapped you once and youve slapped me at least a billion times so it adds up….funny how you can give it but not take it….weak…

e: *thinks about how he could say a few things about that last phrase but doesn’t* i’ve literally killed u so many fucking times *raises fist* i will do it again…..

J: *steps closer* do it then

e: why… the fuck … do you ALWAYS provoke me… kNOWING you will die? *pushes him back*

J: because i know you need an excuse to make out with me every once and awhile *smirks*

e: *gasp* WHAT THE FUFK? HOW DID U KNOW THAT *HITS HIM IN THE FACE*

J: bro you didnt think i was actually dead did you…...i thought you would have known better by now *still smirking*

e: *speechless and wishes he could use his mindpowers on jacob but it doesnt work* ………..

J: yeah so maybe you should try being nicer

e: absolutely not. once this month is over im moving to korea

BREAKOUT ROMM ENDINGNOOOOOOOO AKWAYDS WHEN IT GETS GOOD I KNOW RIGHT UGH ITS OK BUT YEAH THERE NEEDS TO BE AN EMOTIAONL CONNECTION SOON BEFOREMARRIAGE OH OF COURSE I CANT WAIT WE WILL WORK MORE TMRW NO SATUDAY MONDAY WOOOOWOOOO I THINK WE SHOULD MAKE A FILM OF THIS YESSSSSSS MONDAY OK HAHAHA

e: *continued* and im never speaking to u again.

J: yeah right you always say that shit…..but then you come crawling back

e: *rolls eyes* i’ve literally never done that. ur schizophrenia’s acting up because weve never had any fucking relationship before this……. i DONT LIKE YOU

J: uh huh but you always bring me back to life and make out with my corpse so what does that mean???

e: first of all, WE ARE BOTH CORPSES. so its not weird. second, i dont wanna get in trouble for killing a werewolf. so thats that. *turns away and starts walking back to the house but its the wrong direction*

J: yeah thats a likely story…….you know thats not the way home right…*smirks*

e: obviously ….. i was tricking u….. *goes the other way*

J: *rolls eyes and still smirks* so what do you wanna do when we get home

e: nothing *hes still going the wrong way but this time a different wrong*

J: well whatever….how long are you planning on going the wrong way before you ask me for help?

e: buddy.. this is the right way *shows map on phone*

(............ how can this be??????? ARE THEY IN a diffeernte realm)

a/n LMSOAAIOOAAO faerie realm

J: no i swear……..it……*turns in a circle confused* we definitely came from………

e: so what the fucks going on? is this one of ur stupid pranks bc ur native or whatever

J: can you stop being racist for two seconds this is weird….whatever maybe i messed up….lets just follow your phone…

(they follow the directions on the phone but they find that theyre just going in circles eneding up back to the dead dear…. a strange mist is rising*

e: uh…………….. what the fucks going on……….

J: uhhhhhh…….this has never happened before…...what the fuck do we do,....

e: wait. do u hear that……..

(from in the mist they hear something coming……………. its this really hot woman coming out, her name……. bella swan)

bella: …… *in sexy voice* hello boys

a/n GYDSUFGEYORGFBOREW

J: uh…..who the fuck are you….

b: *tosses her head back and laughs, long luscious dark locks of dark of hair of brown falling behind her, then opens her blue? brown? idk her orb colour and stares at them…. she notices edward’s extremely strong gay aura so doesnt go to him. looks at jacob* im bella. bella swan…. youre in my swamp….

J: ok…...but we’re lost...so could you help us out….?

e: *uncomfotable.*

bela: hahhahahah… of course…. *walks up to jacob and touches his face* but the thing is….. humans who come into my territory….. must …… how tf do i say this….. they need to gift me something…. or else u are cursed to work as my servant forever.

J: well we’re not human...hes a vampire and im half werewolf half double vampire…..so that wont apply to us right??

b: *gasps*..... HAHAHAHAHAHHA…… you truly don’t know who i am? bella swan (shes part swan ig) collects HALF WEREWOLF HALF DOUBLE VAMPIRE boys……. jacob….. *licks lips* you will be my prize

e: hhhhhhhhhh

J: so like….if i fuck you….can you tell us how to get home??

bella: *slaps him across the face in the same way that edward does* FUCK ME? hahahahha you’re fucking stupid. i knew it. all of u are. i don’t want u like that buddy, i need to use ur dna to make skins. *grabs him and tries to bring him into the mist*

e: wait…. u can’t

bella: y?

e: um……. bc….

J: *is kind of turned on bc bella slapped him like edward and pavlovs dogs ya know* ……….

e: *was about to say to bella that she cant take jacob, but then realizes he has no say in what jacob can or can’t do…. plus… jacob looks really happy with bella….. but still…. he can’t just let jacob get fucking killed again… even if he’s into it* um. bella. maybe? um u could take me as well?

b: no ur fucking gay i don’t want u. jacob wants to come w me , right jakey? (how does she know his name?)

J: *dream like* yeah…….wait…...did i tell you my name?

bella: *eyes widening in delight* NOOOOOO YOU DIDNT!!!!! LUCKY GUESS!!!!! NOW THAT I KNOW UR NAME……. *turns to edward* u know what happens when fairies know ur name right? *smirks* e

e: *also kind of into that smirk bc pavlovian response* wait… no… JACOB U IDIOT

bella: i feel some homosexual tension between yall …. how about this *curses jacob so that he is like idk evil and will kill edward so then bella wont have to fight him and then can kill jacob le8ter*

J: *eyes rolll back into head like tik tok boy* *lunges at edward* ……

(famous last words by mcr starts playing straight from bella’s mouth for some background music) a/n YESSSSSS

e: *dodges jacob* JACOB. STOP SNAP OUT OF IT

J: …………*jumps at edward again*

e: *barely dodges his snapping jaws*

(in the background …….but can I SPEAK is it hard understanding…….. im incompletel)

e: BNELLA STOP PLEASEEEE

J: *keeps jumping at edward with impossible amounts of force and energy* ……

(a love that’s so demanding…………. IEIODAIOJEWIOADJIOA WHWYY cann ii get WEAKK!!!! I AM NOT AFRAID OFtikwpoerkwopk)

e: *doesn’t want to use force to stop jaconn, but he’s forced to* jacob *does the thing whjere girls try to stop the guy from fighting* jacob its me! stop!!!!!!!!

bella: omg so cringe stop pls

J: *stops for a second but then goes back to fighting* ……

(awake and unafraid asleep)

e: *gets scratched by his werewolf claws, stares at the blood then gets mad* JACOB U STUPID FUCKING MUTT LOOK WHAT U DID TO MY PERFECT SKIN *restrains him with both arms*

J: *when yelled at fully stops but then shakes head and goes back to rage* …..

b: *notices that jacob stopped* omg… wtf *curses him stronger*

e: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

(the song is now… hmmm….. u decide… nanananananaanana LOL ok)

J: *goes at edward so hard knocks him over*........

e: hmmmm,...... jacob i don’t wanna fight u STOP

(na na na na so many security sto every enemy)

J: *stops for half a second blink and youll miss it but then goes back with even more anger*..

e: *thinking: wtf i do’? i cant fight bella to stop him cus then itll be 2 v 1 ./../….///.. .wait…. * *remmebres jacob;’s expression when bella slapped him,..... what if i…. what if* (jacob comes at him again but edward waits UNTIL he is close enough adn then slaps him across the face extremely hard that like he slams into a tree behind him* U STUPID FUCKING DOG

j: *slides down tree and colapses on the ground….almost unconsiodusio* …….e…..edward….

(na na na is over and fades slowly bc bella closes her mouth)

b: waht the fucking fukc did u fucking do u stupid sparkly gay boy????///// THAT WAS MY NEXT SKIN

e: *ignores her and goes to jacob* jacob…… r u ok…

J: *opens eyes slowly* ye….yeah…..i *inhales sharply bc pain or smth* im good…..

e: *checks him for wounds*

bella: *comes up behind edward and grabs him by the head then yeets him backwards* I SAID THATS MY SKIN STAY AWAY FROM him

J: EDWARD *tries to get up to fight her but stumbles*

b: stay down. that’s an order u dog

e: *comes back running* NYAHHHHHHHH

(bela and edward engage in a super epic battle u can imagine it however u want ok…..)

J: ………..

(they r far away enough that jacob can’t hear them….)

b: bro why r u fighting so hard to save ur friend or is that even a friend

e: *blushes* bro not right now

b: no seriously

e: …..

b: *thinking oh….* ew so yall r like that?

e: ….

b: *sigh* fine… u can have him… but under one condition

(what is this condition lemme think)

b: welcome to paradise…. dun dun dun dundu ndund a gunshot rings at the station………… ok i found it: u owe me ur firstborn child

e: ok (?)

(that’s how bella gets renesmee u decide how that happens)

e: *goes back to jacob* helo

J: are you ok…….what went down??????

e: nothing we totally didnt like f u ck or anything wtf why would u even ask that

J: *thinks wtf did they fuck….get kinda jealoudssss* oh…...so can we leave??

(the mist rises)

e: ok…. can you even walk?

J: yeah im fine *tries to stand but winces and leans against tree*

e: *is worried, but rolls eyes anyway* le,me call an uber

BREKAOUT ROOOM OVER NONOOOOOOOO ITS OK WE FINISHED THIS ARC TODAY WAS SO GOOD ABSOLUTELY BRILLAITN AS USUAL WE ARE AT 840 PERIODS LMAOAAAOOOO GOOD UGH HOW AMAZING IM EXCITED TO REREAD IT TOMOROW YESSS ME FUCKING TOO GAHAHAH

a/n Are they waiting for the uber or at home alreafy? first of all, use a/n, second up to u

(jacobs room)

J: ok im fine stop worrying

(the whole werewolf clan is surrounding jacob who is lying on his bed, edward is standing facing the corner awkwardly and covering his nose)

biylly: No son. you were attacked by some fucking fairyand i dont mean him *points to edward* like this is serious shit…. we should call a doctor… but who….

e: *quietly*……. i know… a doctor

a/n laksaodjjefiureyueryhu

J: who…….

e: *turns to face the gang, wich includes seth who i thnk is sexy* um……. carlisle…

J: wait your dad….leader of your incest clan….went to med school???

e: *hand twitches wanting to slap him, but can’t do so in front of his family, so restrains himself* ahem. yes. and we’re not an incest clan.

Billy: i aint bringing you to no vampire doctor we have to find someone else

J: no…..its ok…..i don't even need a doctor….

seth: *is a niner* dude… ur not even okl…. (what were his injuries again?) ur like body is like broken in multiple places…. but. *glares at edward* we can’t have more of Them in here……

e: *rolls eyes at seth* so what the fuck do u propose we do huh niner

seth: ……………… well if u really wanna know, i took grade 9 biology and also first aid….. i’m basically a doctor

a/n i really forget what happened to jacob but lets pretend hes basically dying (when isnt he)

J: uh no thanks seth…..really guys im ok….ive had worse….at least im alive…….

e: *still wants to slap him so bad but cant so instead slaps himself*

billy: wtf… *back to jacob* listen son. ur literally fukcing dying *gets emotional now* ….. we need to do something… *looks at seth* son… *(seth isn’t his son?) will u treat him?

seth: *smirks* ya of course billy…. *turns to jacob* listen ….. we can’t have u dying here…. us alphas need to look out for each other.

J; uhhhhhhhhh well like im kind of more beta…….but…...are you sure you know what youre doing????

billy: JACOB (does he have a middle name) BLACK NEVER CALL URSELF A BETA EVER A FUCKING GAIN THE BLAHJBLAHBLAH TRIBE HAS BLAHDDBASBDOISDHIAOSJDIASJAJ …..

seth: yea h jacob ur definitely an a**a wtf ok . so first i need to see ur injuries…. where r u hurt?

J: basically everywhere…..she kind of fucked me up….but its cool

e: *still doesn’t know what to do so goes back to facing the wall*

seth: okay well… im gonna need u to like… ahem…. u know…. .disrobe…

J: oh...yeahok….*glances at edward who is still facing the wall**starts to take off shirt revealing 12 pack abs*

a;/n: lMFAO

(collective gasp as they see jacob’s injuries)

e: *begins slamming his head into the wall*

billy: oh my god son. …… this is horrible

seth: alright uhhhhhhhh *is overwhelmed* um …. ,... well u have… um …. ur bleeding… and ur ribs are briken… so i gusss…… polysporin? edward can u pass it to me

e: *still staring at the wall* no

J: dude why are you always so difficult….plus after seth heals me hes gonna have to check you for a concussionos…..wtf r u doing????

e: *rolls eyes and turns around, but hes hit his head on the wall so hard that blood is dripping from his head into his eyes, blinding him (da blood from da dear ofc* he doesn’t need to fucking heal me. and i’ll get the polysporin. where is it?

J: in the bathroom i think…...down the hall to the left…

e: *goes to get it, blindly obviously and yeah he got it* *hands the polysporin to who he thinks is seth but he can’t actually see who he’s handing it to*

J: man are you ok??? Like maybe sit down for a bit…...thats not seth thats my dad

e: *angirly moves so hes handing it to seth, but in the process slaps seth in the face maybe not so accidentlly*

s: OH my fucking GOd *mutters* i fucking hate vampires stupid fucks *begins putting polysporin on jacob*

J: uhhhhh is this gonna work…..like my ribs are broken...maybe we should call edwards dad….*looks down knowing they gonna be mad at the idea*

e: *has reverted to sitting in the corner staring at the wall blindly so not actually staring ig*

billy: shut the fuck up jacob. seth is doing an awesome job. looks better already kid

seth: *smirks, looking in edward’s direction* yeah im doing awesome

J: but like…….whatever….if youre done leave edward and i alone for a second…

seth: *finishes bandagnig jacob up* ok. .. but if u need anything… .anythng,... just call ok buddy?

billy: *leaves*

J: so i think i need a real doctor now

s: no u don’t im all u need *leaves*

J: i definitely need a real doctor now…..can you call your dad?

e: he’s not my dad…. and i cant.

J: bruh why not u said u would earlier

e: *can’t really remember due to insane brain damage* uh…… well he’s in italy now. so . ……….. i mean… yeah.

J: dude come here let me see your head

e: no

J: not in a gay way in a im actually worried about your health way

e: *doesn’t actually know where he is in the room bc he refuses to wipe the blood from his eyes* um………………. fine….. *starts walking then trips on jacob’s textbook* wtf….

J: come here sit down *reaches over and grabs his arm guiding him to the bed* here dumbass *wipes blood away from his eyes* does it hurt really bad??

e: *flatly* im a vampire . nothing hurts me. *looks at his bandagings * what the fuck did he do. *rolls eyes* this is unacceptable… *under his breath* stupid dumb fucking niner idiot who fcuckgirn ais trying to one up me i kwjeoijfdoijdeow grrr

J: sorry i didnt hear that last part whats up?

e: oh my god just stfu and *tyler tehecreator voice* elt me do what i need to fucking do *violently rips his bandages off* lemme do it properly because carlisle is in….. china… like i siad

J: uh you said he was in like france or something...also this fucking hurts can you stop being so angry???

e: *no reply. begins piecing his ribs back together w surgical tools he pulled from his pocket* dont move

J: yeah whatever…...why do you have all this shit….nerd…

e: *bc jacob’s ribs were literally sepeareted from what is it called in the centre of the ribs forgot, but his heart is exposed* stfu…. why is ur heart still beating……. *grabs his beating heart*

J: bro what the fuck….don't do that whats wrong with you….maybe bc im still half werewolf???? idk…

e: *eyes change colour….. he goes very still*

(they are both covered in jacob;s blood)

J: uhhhhhhhh edward…..youre scaring me man…...maybe you should go...or just say something please…

e: * eyes r still that whatever colour, but goes back to work silently, and releases the heart* ………………………….. *finishes and starts sewing the skin back up, then looks jacob in the eyes* u rlly should stop begging me bruh,........ it onlymakes me hungrier

J: oh uuhhhhhh sorry????

e: *bandages are finished, assess his work….* ugh finally ur better…… *slaps him* ive been waiting to do that

J: dude wtf…..why are you like this

e: ………….. well i need to do my english project if u don’t mind *goes to face the wall and closes his eyes*..... ……… …

J: you know you can like sit down right…..you don't have to stand t=in the corner

e: *sighs audibly then moves backwards with his eyes still closed and sits on the corner of jacob’s bed but he’s basically just hovering over it*

J: youre so fucking dramatic….youre stuck with me for like two weeks or something so you should probably get used to being around me

e: *opens his eyes and glares at jacob* it’s one month first of all. and i don’t want to get used to you. you fucking stink and ur covered in blood.

J: *smirks* i thouht you liked blood...and you smell like shit too you know

BREAKOUIT ROROM ENDINGUIRNGTRIGNT NOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK UAK WHATS COMING NEXT EW IT WAS ME AND ROB FOR A SECOND EW OMG BRO WE BE WRITING 1K WORDS PER DAY BRUHHHHH OUR FIUCKING POWER ITS SO AMAZING

e: *smells himself* no i dont’ smell like i shit

J: *smirks* you do to me...ugly vampire smell

e: you really should respect me more…. im the one who fixed ur fucking ribs not like seth who used fucking POLYSPORIN

J: its ok….you don't need to be jealous of seth…..i don't like him like that

e: what the fuck>>??? im not jealous of him i literally never said that…… isn’t he ur fucking brother?

a/n hes not lmao edward doesn tknow that

J: wtf????? U thot he was my brother???? Not all native american werewolves are related asshole

e: yall arent….. then why tf are yall in the same tribe huh riddle me that

J: i……...we….how do you think tribes work?????

e: u tell me

a/n I GOT JUMPSCARED BY ROBS VOICE SO HARD LMAO LOL CAN HE STFU IDC AT ALL ME TOO YALL SHUT UP i straight up dont care this sucksnot interested in yalls feedback for us stfu with the “no one is left out” GUESS WHAT U WILL BE LEFT OUT IN LIFE THATS HOW IT IS ESPECIALLY IF UR FUCKING UGLY LIKE SOME OF YALL stfu with math bulshit 6 is divided by 4 simply will it to be TINA STFU LOL YES HAHAHA we will excluse ourselves “andie doesnt count” how dare u sigh there is no feedback they could possibly give us LMAO RIGHT ugh fuck this and i don't need yall yall can be a group if u wanna we always do anyways yall back to work stfu

J: we….just like hangout…...we aren’t related…….at all……

e: ……….oh……………………………………. well i had no idea thats how tribes work

J: you could have just asked…..

e: *doesn’t reply and goes back to work on his english project*

J: *rolls eyes* youre so fucking lame can u not be a nerd for 5 minutes???

e: *throws pencil like a dart and it sticks in jacobs forehead* LITERALLY WTF DO U WANT ME TO DO HUH. I DONT WANNA FUCKING BE HERE. BUT WE CANT GO OUTSIDE CUS ITS NIGHT (flashbacK: andrew’s curfew for who fucking knows why)

J: *dies*

e: *rolls eyes* i literally know ur not dead cus the curse is still on

J: *still dead*

e: *sighs* ……. * thinks about fall out boy specifically how whats his name never eununciates anything* helloooooooooooooo wake tf up ugly

J: *dead*

e: this aint a scene its a godamn ahms rahce , like why does he say it like that

J: idk man but its a banger tho

e: disagree its so fcuking annoinyg. ahms rahce ahms ahms and like when he says down he doesnt even say down its like dawhhhh

J: i mean yeah but its a classic….and his voice….iconic….

e: *shrugs* yeah ur right…. you know………………. back in the 60s i used to be in a band…

J: oh shit deadasss? Were yall any good????

e: *slaps his uninjured leg* obvioisl;y we were fucking good…. we were really popular too…. *sigh* i had so many bitches

J: *mad kind of bc bitches* well if u were so popular would i know any of your songs??? What was the band called???

e: ……….well ….. *pulls out guitar and drum kit and like every instrument and begins playing them* it goes alittle like this….. here comes the sun dododododood here comes the sun … .

a/n IM CRYING

J: wtf that shits sucks….ive literally never heard that before

e: *rolls eyes* obviously it sucks now , but back in the segragation days,,,,,,, this shit was spectuacualr.. ….. and btw, this is the BEATLES … which by the way,,,,,, i was in

J: wtf i have never heard of yall….u named ur band after a bug thats so weird…..ur shit is trash man

e: *slaps him but this time on the face* shtut he fuck up and stop talking shit about my band… ive literally never seen u do anything of worth in ur what…. how fucking old are u,.... like 16 years of life

J: i get so many bitches u would not believe

e: *rolsl eyes* LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL……. u know i can read everyone’s minds right? everyone and i mean everyone wants me at school….. like no one is thinking about u

J: *angry* maybe thats true but they only want u bc they think ur hot….if they actually got to know u no one and i mean no one would ever even look at you….youre disgusting and terrible and honestly not even that hot up close

e: *rolls eyes* listen old sport =..... when ur my age…. and also immortal… and sexy….. relationships with humans dont fucking matter. i dont need them to like me, cus guess what ? they re gonna fucking die anyways or ill proabbly eat them… they just need to think im hot. and by the way, i am fucking hot up close….. *tilts his head to remind jacob of their first talking or whatever encounter at edward’s house…….*

J: *angerily silent*.......

e: *starts laughing* like…….. i didnt even do anything and u were like….. .ahahahhahahahahhahahah

J; *still silent* …………………….

(momentarily silence, until edward notices his hands are still really bloody… )

e: *to himself* ugh…. this is gross……. *starts licking the blood off his hands* mmmmm

J: *makes disgusted face but still doesnt say anything*........

e: *finishes cleaning his hands and wipes it on jacob’s sheets* hmmm….. *checks phone* holy shit my amazon order is here…..

J: *mumbles* go get it then……

e: *goes to the downstairs or whatever and it should be ok bc its within like 20m but as soon as he gets to jacob’s door they both feel intense pain* wtf……… im not….. even…… 20m…. away …. from u ….

J: …...stupid….double….vampire...shit…..

e: ….. *comes closer to esase the pain* ugh…. im so…. fukcing… mad… u sfuckign idit…… *punches hole in jacob’s wall.* …. ok u need to come with me downstairs so i can get my package

J: i literally cant fucking walk selfish idiot

e: grrr.r…… i need…. my mf.../.. amazon prime bed thing……… fine…. *throws jacob over his shoulder* u dont need to walk

J: ahhhh wtf...ur so fucking weird...this is gay man

e: its literally not so stfu *goes downstairs to get his package*

(billy and other wolf members: :|

J: what the fuck is wrong with u u could have gotten someone to bring it p for u wtf

e: *rolls eyes and bends to get the package* …. i have amazon prime^2,,,,,, the package will explode if it doesnt recognize my fingerprint *scans his fingerprint* and my eyeball *scans eyeball and gets package to go upstairs*

J: i hate rich people so fucking much what is wrong with you

e: *throws jacob back onto his bed and rips open the package with his vampire teeth* fuckign finally

J: ok can we get some fucking sleep now???? This day has been way too much

e: *looks him up and down* yeah for u maybe…. vampires dont even need sleep *sets up bed, its literally huge and takes up most of jacobs room*

J: THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED A BED FOR THEN?????????

e: *slaps him* stop fuckign questioning me…. i need it to relax in…. and watch tik toks…

J: what the fuck….you know what i don't care…..good fucking night….

e: *doesn’t reply and gets settled in his huge bed and opens tik tok and watches them at high volume no headphones*

J: BRUH CAN U GET SOME FUCKING HEADPHONES WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU e: *looks up to jacob across the room* i forgot them at home… holdup lkemme amazon prime some new ones

J: bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just like turn the volume down

e: *exhales through nose at a funny tiktok and doesn’t hear jacob*

J: what. the . fuck. *puts pillow over head and tried to sleep*

e: *is now standing on his bed attempting to learn a tik tok dance but hes super tall so his head keeps slamming against the ceiling* renegade rengage

BREAKOUT ROROMRM ENDEIDN STOP NMITERUPTTING MY FUCKING SETENCE I KNOW LOL DID BUT THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYnegade reennegadge

Sorry bro ok bye

(now is morning)

e: *been watching tik toks all night long*

J: *has not slept at all* bruhhhhhhhhhh

e: *has learned every dance possible, now is 2nd after charli damelio in popularity* stfu im working

J: i cant do this…….we need to figure something else out…….

e: *puts his phone downe for the first time in hours* *sighs* …….. jacob,.... u need to understand this…… *sad music begins to play, lights down, spotlight on edward* *ewdward looks out the window wistfully* im….. im a father now jacob….. i dont have time to “figure things out”...... fatherhood was thrown into my life….

J: wtf…….u r literallykt not in ur childs life at al…...do u even pay child support…..rich bitch…...ur not a father…...u just fucked a girl…….

e: *rolls eyes* first of all, she’s half vamp half faerie like she literally doesnt need money to livem, second that wasn’t just any girl that was bella swan………. i feel terribly guilty jacob,...... i should be in rmeumememeueneneseeeses’s life

J: bruh…...so ur like in love with bella now????? And wtf…….what r u gonna do raise her now???? Nah i don wanna be part of this

e: dude… im not in love with her… it’s just my duty as a father………. And who said ur gonna be a part of this? ……… *thinks* maybe i should get married to her?

J: u literally just said she don't need u so why u acting different???? Also im gonna have to be a part of this bc we cannot be more than 10m apart idiot

e: that’s literally temporary………………………………..

J: oh so ur just gonna wait til this is over….shes gonna hate u

e: *slaps him* u don’t know that…… plus it’ll be a good way to pass a couple centuries…..

J: bro but i DO know that….my mom left us or died or sometihng…..and like….if she came back into my life now….id hate her……

e: yeah but ur a fucking werewofl us vampires and feareires dont think like that….. why are u so against this?

J: honestly do whatever u want……...ill be fine as long as youre away from me……

e: well…….. good… glad we’re on the same page *goes back to his bed to watch tiktoks*

J: *sighs and lies on bed staring at the ceiling* *thinks* this is probably a good thing….edward has brought me nothing but pain….

e: *doesn’t scroll on the tiktok whe’s watching so the sound keeps playing over and over again and hes thinking……: why….. do i feel so guilty? i thought it was about renesueme but…………... *out loud* uh. /…… .were we supposed to um go to mclonad’s or something?

J:.......oh yeah….i guess…..if you wanted to….

e: *suddenly annoyed* it was ur fucking idea to go……….

J: bro whatever chill…..lets go then….

e: ok……. like we dont have to go if u dont want to…. its just u mentioned it…..

J: no like we can go….anythings better than hunting with u….

e: ok but do you want to go or u just saying that cus then its a fucking waste of time

J: OH MY GOD LETS JUST GO

e: *slaps him* dont use that attitude with me ,...... u fucking dog

J: *rolls eyes* what the fuck ever…..ur driving

e: i didn’t bring my car with me stupid…….

J: well what the fuck r we gonna do then?????????

e: …… dont u have a car or smthn……. or we could run there

J: im poor remember????? And im also still injured>>>so like wtf now

e: (flashback: new moon, jacob literally has a motorcycle) …./…. dont u have a motorcycle or a truck helllooooooooo

J: ur so fucking insensitive…….we had to sell those to buy groceries…….fuck you…..

e: *under his breath* i guess no sharing motorcycle drivigng…. *sigh* ok uber eatss?

J: yeah whatever…….oh wait….seth has a motorcycle i think….maybe we could ask to borrow it…..

e: *annnoyed* ew…. i dont wanna use seth’s motorcycle……

J: bruhhhhhhhhh y r u always so fucking difficult

e: im not difficult bruh

J: u fucking r

e: fine. use fuckings seth’s motorycycle from him hes ugly anyway

J: alright sick

#twilight #Edward cullen #Jacob black #Bella swan #fanfiction #gay #lgbt

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caandlelit · 5 years

Text

dabihawks...wait for it....fake dating au

this is actually so appropriate

no ones done this

but u all know exactly whats coming

(hawks is a scholarship student sent to a high class college bc the board got jealous of this really smart kid’s quote unquote ‘wasted potential’)

(dabi is a rich abusive business man’s eldest rebellious punk rock son)

so. hawks is walking to his next lecture when he sees a flyer on a noticeboard

“HELP. I am in need of a fake boyfriend to help me piss off my homophobic father when i go home for a family dinner. bonus points if you’re a delinquent and blatantly, ridiculously homosexual. payment in the best cookies you will ever have in your entire life”

*hawks voice* sounds like my kinda gig

he contacts him straight away

‘im always ready to piss off homophobes’

he meets up with dabi to discuss details at some hipster coffee shop called “tomuras’”

and immediately thinks

‘fuck hes hot’

yeah he has weirdass burns on his face what about it

he has a deep sexy voice and tattoo sleeves and so many piercings hhh

and dabi sees him and immediately thinks

“aw hell fucking yeah he looks so gay and twinky I really hit the jackpot”

bc hawks is literally perfect for this

he has red wing tattoos on his shoulder blades

constantly wears rainbow patterned tanks and halter tops in order to show off the afore mentioned tattoos

and has multiple snapbacks that say ‘IM GAY’ one of which he is currently wearing

does that not scream homosexual

dabi is fucking delighted

okay so they have to work out the details of their ‘relationship’

dabis like, what do u think would have happened for us to kiss kiss fall in love

‘okay so I was thinking that it would have happened at a shitty hipster coffee shop, and I dont wanna name an actual coffee shop so lets just make one up lets call it like tomura’s or smth-’

dabi sNORTS

*distant shigaraki voice from behind the counter* fUCK OFF YOU BITCH ITS NOT HIPSTER OR SHITTY

‘yEAH IT IS GO FUCK YOURSELF’

*coughs* ‘anyways.’

dabis looking at him so fondly he’s in LOVE

‘you turned around with ur coffee and bumped into me, and you thought I was so hot that u spilled it all over me‘

dabi: *deadpans* I dunno man I feel like it’d be the other way around im way hotter than you

hawks: *whispers* hell fucking yeah you are holy shit those arms are killing me

*amused dabi voice* what

*panicked, painfully cracking hawks voice* nothing

they go with hawks’ story

bc in dabis words

“its so gay he’‘ll hate it”

when the day of the family dinner arrives hawks is super worried that he’ll end up not being sweet enough to rei or mix up dabi’s sibling’s names or ‘not be gay enough’

dabis lying on his dorm bed and watches lazily till he gets tired of hawks freaking out and throws a pillow at him to shut him up

gay pillowfight montage

they hit each other with hawks’ obnoxiously big pillows till feathers are flying everywhere and theyre giggling breathlessly

queue gay moment

hawks ‘hey we should practice kissing’

“mhm we have to perfect it so its believable yknow”

‘so can we make out now’

‘yeah lets just get right into-mmph!”

dabi and hawks end up half and hour later then they were supposed to

id say they were looking rumpled as all hell

but honestly thats dabis default

and its bold of you to assume hawks wouldn't waste even more time getting ready

hes wearing a pink tank top that says ’blatantly homosexual’ and skinny jeans

dabis wearing a leather jacket with many many many pride pins of the bisexual variety and a queen t-shirt

gotta stick to them “dabi listens to mainstream rock music” roots

(hawks suggested he dye his hair pink purple blue but he ultimately decides against it much to hawks’ disappointment)

so they come in and meet rei

her hugs are amazing and make hawks feel so small and protected and cocooned in her warmth is this what a parent feels like

fuyumi; hello if you hurt my brother I will eviscerate you

hawks: dw id eviscerate me too

fuyumi, grudgingly: good answer welcome to the family

dabi blushin rn

natsuo: hey big bro, hawks bro *fistbumps*

shouto: *chugs gatorade and t-poses* sup’

hawks: wh

*dabi voice* o h m y g o d I said just dont freak out my boyfriend thats all I asked of u assholes and what do you do you go and freak out my boyfriend I am disowning all of you-

hawks is staring at him with motherfucking heart-eyes

and then the whole happy everything is destroyed by endeav*r coming back from work

dabi slings and arm around hawks waist and ignores his blush, insufferably smug

”hello father this is my homosexual boyfriend we are homosexual and have homosexual sex”

hawks belatedly realizes that shit, he really likes it when dabi calls him his boyfriend which is a problem bc theyre not actually dating

so hes lowkey freaking out on the inside

but he still plays his part to perfection

‘thankyou for being so accommodating, let me take ur jacket sir, ill put it next to my rainbow colored one over here’

endeavor is so pissed

and its glorious

dabi is beside himself with glee at the dinner table as he is surrounded by his siblings

natsuo slurping soba loudly while staring directly at his dickhead dad

and his mom is aloofly tuning them all out while in intense conversation with his sister about how society is bullshit and businessmen are disgusting

while fuyumi is sneakily scratching her fork against her plate to make a screeching sound which makes endeavores eye twitch every twenty seconds

and he is sitting next to and playing footsie under the table with his newly discovered love of his life

whom he should probably

definitely

ask out after this whole thing

who is seemingly oblivious to endivores glaring and talking to him about how he’s so happy that he accepts his son for being gay and being generally so supportive of ‘us faggots’

endthevore is fuming and its fantastic

dabi intertwines his fingers with hawks and smiles and continues where he left off in his one sided conversation with shouto whos nodding and slurping determinedly (*wipes tear* ”i taught him well”) about the homosexual agenda as hawks silently tries to appear as if hes not having a heart attack beside him

#dabihawks #bnha #dabi #hawks #hotwings #dabi is touya #mha #hc #//endeavor #todoroki shouto

2K notes · View notes

chibifukurou · 5 years

Text

If this is your first fandom migration

1. Don't panic. Things are scary now. But panicking and shutting everything down pre-emptively while tempting, will most likely be something you regret. Please wait until as close to the deadline as you feel comfortable with before shutting down so your followers have a way to contact you.

2. If you keep your blog, carve out some time to be on Tumblr and dispute falsely flagged images over the next few weeks. This is frustrating and feels pointless, but will give you and other people time to get things backed up.

3. For right now, a certain ammount of the rules of engagement are going to need to change. Tagging is no longer a safe way to inform for content. Putting warnings in your post title or the first few lines of your posts will hopefully help keep you from getting posts auto wiped as they go through and wipe out tags. I'm not saying this is a guaranteed way to keep your content, but it's as of now not a known method of being tracked.

4. Do not assume that the site you are moving today is going to be the new fandom hub. Keep it touch with friends and share information about group plans. In LJ days we never saw Tumblr coming. And it took a few years for everybody to migrate here.

5. Discord servers can be scary, but that doesn't mean you can't use discord as a way to get in touch. Discord has a robust direct messaging system. With one major limit. You have to be on a server with the person you are PMing for your very first message. Talk with your fandom friends about temp joining a discord server to PM them, before leaving the server again.

6. Try to decide what parts of tumblr you find most fulfilling. Talking with friends, scrolling your feed, posting your art and fics and getting feedback. As of right now we don't have a site to go to that can do it all. So decide what you and your friends are going to focus on when looking for a new social hub.

7. I say this every time that something like this happens. Please make sure you diversify your fandom homes. Keep multiple lines of communication open and don't be afraid to build your own corner of the Web with your friends Whether that is a fandom comm on DW. Or a Discord server. Or just a group chat through your emails. Having only one place that meets all our needs is great, but leaves our community easily fractured.

8. They say the Internet is forever, but all to often that is a lie. The Internet in all its amazing diversity, is still attached to the Real World. The parts of the Internet that are forever are not usually the parts where the queer, neurodiverse and the chronically ill live. Our parts are fragile, because the world too often tries to silence our voices. This isn't the first time and won't be the last time we have this fight. DON'T LET THEM SILENCE YOU.

We will be okay and make it through this if we just keep supporting each other. Try your best to preserve what you can and just keep looking forward and fighting to keep the Internet an open place.

6 notes · View notes

hold-my-hair-back · 7 years

Note

More high school au destiel but with sick Dean?

I know it’s been forever since I posted a story (or really anything at all) but college is keeping me busy and I’m also substitute teaching at the local high school here. So, I hope some sick!Dean makes up for my absence. The season 13 premiere made me in the mood for a Dean story. Thanks for the request! I’m glad you guys like the high school era I’ve established.

The first thing Castiel heard when he walked towards Dean’s locker, was a series of wet coughs followed by a creative string of bad language only Dean could think of. On a normal day, Castiel would walk into the school, head toward Dean’s locker, and see him standing in wait, usually listening to music and ignoring the rest of the student population. Now, Dean was hunched over, looking tired and miserable and coughing up a storm. Castiel felt his stomach clench with worry as he stood in front of his pale, shaky boyfriend. Instinctively, Castiel wanted to throw his arms around Dean, feel his forehead, and then comfort him. However, he knew by now that Dean was different and needed to be taken care of in a more discreet manner. Dean has always been defensive, but nothing amplified that more than when he was sick. Approaching Dean like this was similar to approaching a wild animal. “So,” Castiel began slowly and carefully as he leaned against the lockers, making sure not to stare too much. “I’m guessing this was why you weren’t at school yesterday?”

Dean opened his mouth to respond, but instead of words coming out, it was another series of wet coughs. Castiel watched as his boyfriend turned away from him and covered his mouth with a tissue until the coughs finally subsided. “Yeah, sorry I didn’t text you,” he answered. Castiel had to hold back from wincing at how rough his voice sounded.

“You never text me,” Castiel pointed out, trying to sound dismissive about it. “Anyway, I just figured you were ditching. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Dean only shrugged as he coughed up phlegm into the overused tissue. Castiel wanted to make a snide remark about Dean’s smoking but held back. This was definitely not the time to stage an intervention for his boyfriend. After Dean was finished, he stuffed the tissue into his pocket and sighed, the breath sounding short and rattly. “No, Principle Crowley has been getting on my ass about missing school. I really didn’t want to get into it with him again. Anyway, I’m fine. Just a cold.”

Castiel didn’t believe that for a second. Dean could have blood oozing out of every orifice in his body and still claim to be fine. There wasn’t time to protest though as the loud bell announced that first period was about to begin. Usually, Castiel would give Dean a quick peck on the lips before scurrying off to class, but this time he hesitated. He didn’t want to leave Dean alone until he knew for sure he was okay. However, Dean gave him a pointed look and he knew it was no use. Castiel sighed softly before kissing his boyfriend’s cheek and heading off in the direction of his first-period class. The entire walk there, he debated on what he could do to help Dean, even if help was claimed to not be needed.

Halfway through his honors government class, Castiel received a text from Dean, that simply said:

Bleugh. -DW

Castiel couldn’t help but smile at the simplicity, knowing that was as close as Dean would ever admit to not feeling well. He couldn’t help but text back.

Are you actually still in class? -CN

Dean’s reply took a while.

No. I left the auto shop to puke and when I came back Mr. Turner told me to go to the nurse. -DW

Castiel frowned at Dean’s text and didn’t hesitate to respond.

You threw up? Dean, I don’t think this is just a cold. -CN

Castiel waited a few minutes, but when no reply came from Dean, he knew he had to take action. He told his government teacher he wasn’t feeling well and hurried out of the room towards the nurse’s office. Dean would probably be angry with him for skipping class to see him but he didn’t care. Dean didn’t often admit he was sick, so Castiel knew this had to be worse than he originally thought. He felt his stomach clench with worry as he stepped into the nurse’s office, not sure what to expect. However, Dean wasn’t in the room and Castiel gave the nurse a curious look. “He’s in there, honey,” the nurse explained, gesturing to the bathroom. “Are you the boyfriend he’s been talking about?” The fact that Dean had been talking about him made his face heat up, and Castiel nodded. “Yeah, that’s me. Is he okay?”“He’ll be fine,” she assured him, standing from her desk.”There’s a nasty flu bug going around, and Dean was apparently the next unfortunate victim.” The nurse came and stood in front of him, holding a hand out with a smile. “I’m Jody Mills, by the way. The new nurse.”Castiel returned the smile and shook her hand. “Castiel.”“I know. He’s only said your name a million times.” Jody sat back down at her desk and looked up at him, and Castiel knew he was blushing again over the fact that Dean had been talking about him a lot. “You can go in there if you’d like,” she continued, looking at the closed door. “But if this stuff grosses you out, I understand. I’m sure he would too.”

Castiel was already making his way to the bathroom. “No, I’m fine. Thanks, Jody.” Castiel was sure Dean needed his space, but he needed to see for himself that his boyfriend was okay. He opened the bathroom door and made sure to shut it behind him before looking over at Dean who was crouching in front of the toilet, a string of sick hanging off his lower lip.

“Why are you here?” Dean grumbled, spitting into the toilet. The sick was still on his lip and Castiel quickly moved forward and wiped it away with a piece of toilet paper, ignoring the protests as it was done.

“Because you clearly aren’t as fine as you’d like to believe,” Castiel answered pointedly. He took a seat on the ground next to Dean and stared at him, looking for signs that this was something serious.

“It’s the flu,” Dean snapped. “Go away.” The venomous tone would have been more effective if it weren’t for the fact that he gagged right after, bringing up a small mouthful of vomit.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Castiel protested. “You always take care of me when I’m sick. Though, I’m not this much of an asshole when I’m sick.”

Dean burped into the toilet bowl before answering. “No, you just whine the whole time.” Castiel didn’t miss the grimace Dean’s face nor did he miss the way Dean’s arm wrapped around his stomach.

Castiel placed a hand on Dean’s back and reached forward to wipe away the sweat that was gathering on his forehead with some toilet paper. “You got me there,” he answered. “No shame.” He could handle Dean’s attitude – he’d been dealing with it for years, but what he couldn’t handle, was the idea of his boyfriend suffering alone. So, he would put up with the remarks and stay with him and help him through this.

Dean’s muscles tightened from beneath his hand and Castiel watched as he heaved into the toilet with tremendous effort. The toilet bowl had already been full when Castiel arrived, and he knew there couldn’t be much else in Dean’s stomach. The heave had only brought up a small bit of yellow bile which most of it remained on Dean’s lips until Castiel wiped it away. Surprisingly, the action hadn’t been met with a snippy comment from Dean, which told Castiel that his boyfriend was starting to get tired. Assuming Dean was done for a while, he flushed the toilet and leaned the other male against the wall while he went over to the sink and began to wet some paper towels with cold water. When he was finished, he knelt back down in front of Dean and began to gently wipe his face, ridding it of any sweat or vomit that might have still been lingering. “Alright,” Dean said after a while, moving his head away. Castiel was surprised he had let it go on for as long as it had. “I’m good.” Dean

Castiel shook his head and tossed the paper towel into the trashcan. “Just because you’re more or less clean now, does not mean that you’re ‘good’, Dean.” Dean began coughing, as though to emphasize his point, and Castiel could only raise an eyebrow. “Yeah, you need to go home and go to bed. Do you need a ride?”

Dean had to finish coughing before he could reply. “Home? I’d rather not.”

Castiel wanted to slap himself, as he should have known that wouldn’t be an option for Dean. “Well, as irritating and fussy as my mom can be, she would never turn away anyone who needed a place to stay. Especially anyone who looks like they’re on their deathbed. You can come to my house and crash, she won’t mind.”

“Yeah, but Sammy–”

“Sam is more than welcome too. We have a guest room that both of you can sleep in,” Castiel interrupted. He knew that even while sick, Dean would always put Sam before himself. Well, Dean put almost everyone before himself which Castiel both loved and hated at the same time. It often led to a small illness turning into something more serious that could have been prevented if Dean had just taken the time to take care of himself.

Dean was either too tired to argue any further, or Castiel finally managed to get through to him, because Dean nodded in agreement – something he didn’t do often regarding his own health. Castiel would take the win though, hoping that with some help, his boyfriend would be back on his feet quicker. He helped Dean up and led him back into the room where Jody was waiting. She had made up a bed for him and Castiel sighed in relief, knowing Dean wouldn’t be able to stay upright for much longer.

“Here we go,” Castiel said softly as he ushered Dean down onto the bed. “I know you don’t like this kind of thing, but you really should rest while I call my mom. I’m gonna sign us both out, okay? And then I can take you to my house.” Much to Castiel’s surprise, Dean nodded in agreement, which only proved how tired he was. Castiel stayed with Dean, gently stroking his hair until he fell asleep, and he then began the process of getting his very sick boyfriend in bed.

About twenty minutes later, Castiel was gently nudging Dean awake. He wished he could let his boyfriend sleep without interruption, but he knew he had to get them both home. Dean’s green eyes fluttered open slowly, and Castiel took a step back to give him some space. “Hey,” he greeted gently. “We should get you out of here. My mom is cool with you and Sam coming over.”

The mention of Sam’s name had Dean sitting up instantly, the movement causing him to wince and put a hand to his head. “I gotta go get ‘em,” he mumbled.

Castiel shook his head and moved closer to Dean again, reaching up and putting a hand to his head. “I’ll pick him up once school is out, but that’s not for another three hours.” Castiel frowned when Dean winced again and he put his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Does your head hurt?” Dean only shrugged in response, but it was as close to a confession that he would ever get, so Castiel decided to take it as a win. “Okay, well we have some stuff back at my house that you can take for it. Come on.” Castiel helped Dean off the bed and wasn’t surprised in the least bit when Dean shrugged off his touch and began to make his way out of the room on his own. With a sigh, Castiel knew the only thing he could do was closely follow him.

Getting Dean home was harder than it should have been. First off, Castiel had a hard time convincing the other male that he was, in fact, not okay to drive himself. That was met with an ‘I can’t leave Baby here’ to which Castiel offered to drive them back in the Impala. That was only answered with a glare, which eventually led to Castiel driving the two of them back in his own car, leaving the Impala in the parking lot for the night. Second of all, Castiel had to pull over twice during the fifteen-minute drive back to his house so Dean could vomit. Well, the first time he threw up, the second time he dry heaved for five minutes until Castiel finally forced him to sit back in the car, handing him a bag he could heave into.

When they were finally pulling up to the house, Castiel sighed in relief and looked over at his sick boyfriend. “We’re here.”

Dean lifted his head from the passenger window and nodded. “Thanks. I’ve only been to your house a million times. I know what it looks like, Cas.”

Dean’s irritability was really getting on Castiel’s nerves, but he knew that there wasn’t much that could be done about it. He got out of the car and made his way to the front door, knowing that trying to help Dean would only get him yelled at. He did wait on the porch for Dean, however, and once they were both at the door, he led the two of them inside. His mom was at work, and his dad was probably in his office working on his book so that basically meant it was just the two of them. “Do you need help up the stairs?” he asked Dean, risking whatever snarky response he would receive. To his surprise, Dean only shook his head, the exhaustion probably outweighing his agitation.

Castiel stayed behind Dean the entire time up the stairs and toward the guest bedroom, just in case he fell. Luckily, Dean made it to the bed without any incident and he unceremoniously collapsed on top of it with a heavy sigh. Castiel sat down on the bed beside him and put a hand on his back. “Would you like some water or something?” he asked.

“Don’t think I’d be able to keep it down,” Dean mumbled into the pillow. His green eyes slowly slid shut as he finally began to relax once again. “You’ll pick up Sammy?” he asked.

“I promise,” Castiel assured him. “And we’ll talk about books and homework the whole ride over.”

“Nerds,” Dean said, but there was a hint of affection in his tone. Castiel didn’t miss it, and he dared to reach out and place a hand on Dean’s cheek. To his surprise, it wasn’t brushed away. “Cas, I’m sorry I’m such a dick.”

Castiel couldn’t help but scoff; he was thankful Dean was aware of his attitude. “Well, it happens to the best of us. I snap at you when I get migraines. It’s only fair.” Castiel leaned down and kissed the top of Dean’s head, his other hand rubbing up and down Dean’s back to coax him to sleep. “I love you, though.”

Dean smiled for the first time that day, and it was the most beautiful smile in the whole world, Castiel thought. “I love you too.” With that, Dean drifted off and Castiel stayed by his side.

#Supernatural #Sickfic #Sick Dean #Castiel #Jody Mills #Destiel #High school AU #Emetophilia #Dean has the flu #Poor baby #Mentions of Sam #I really need to incorporate Sam in my next AU fic

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