#but in a way that they're happy to see me and to be like nearby as much as possible | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ashhh-14 · 7 months

Text

Tropes? Tropes but make it good

Characters- Diluc, Kaeya, Bennett, Albedo, Razor, Venti, Zhongli, Xiao, Baizhu, Xingqui, Chongyun, Tartaglia, Heizou, Ayato, Gorou, Thoma, Itto, Scaramouce, Alhaitham, Kaveh, Cyno, Tighnari, Neuvillette, Lyney, Wriothesley, Freminet,

Warning- suggestive in chongyun's (dw he's aged up here bubs)

Note- All characters are aged, a dot '.' Meaning scene change , font meaning past memory.

A/n- hope you enjoy!

Baizhu

Doctor patient dynamic

Gentle hands rubbing your back constantly as your coughing fit seemed endless once again. "I-I don't think I'll be able to watch the next lantern right with you like I promised doctor Baizhu." You smiled through the pain, the said man sighing, "Stop doubting my abilities as a Doctor (Y/n). You'll get better." Running his hand through your hair as you layed down, exhaustion making your eyes droop close. "I'll make sure of it, my Little Violet."

Kaveh

Childhood friends to lovers

"Look what I made!" He looked up as you placed something on his head, one hand coming up to touch it, " A flower crown?" "Mhm. Just for you!" He blushed.

"I got you something Kaveh~" He turned to you from where he was writing his thesis, "(Y/n) how many times do I have to say you don't have to buy me art supplies. Um let me buy you lunch as repayment." He looked into your eyes with a gentle gaze as you hopped on the desk beside his papers, placing a box. "Too bad. I already made some for the both of us." "(Y/-" his words got cut short as you gently placed your finger on his lips, "shush Kaveh."

Al haitham

Academic rivals to lovers

"Ugh not again." You muttered under your breath as you looked at the list of top scorers. "Try harder. Maybe you'll be able to get a little better if you work on your gold fish attention span." A voice came as someone passed by, knowing very well who this person was as you sighed in irritation.

Soft clicks of shoes were the only echos in the house of daena as Al haitham made his way towards a bookshelf, his eyes falling onto a figure. He placed his book on the table gently, rounding the table, he placed the pen down from your hand as he placed his cloak on your shoulders, covering you to keep you warm as he pushed the hair away from your face. "Stop pushing yourself so hard."

Wanderer

Grumpy x Sunshine

"Oh c'mon would it kill you to come with me?" You pleaded as your partner kept ignoring your request, "There's no point in me going with you-" "I think you should go with them. It'll broaden your spectrum and give you a new way of looking at things." A gentle voice came as your eyes sparkled at the person. "See?! Even Lesser Lord Kusunali agrees with me!" "NOT YOU TOO " He yelled, grumbling. You pout, crossing your arms over your chest as you stood up, "I'll be leaving Lord Kusunali, since he doesn't want to go, I'll go and ask Cyno. I heard there's a new card back released there too, he'll be happy to come with me." Nahida blinked up at you as you started walking, observing how your frown turned into a sly smirk as soon as a hand gripped your wrist. "Not happening. I'm coming with you."

Cyno

Co workers to lovers

"Hmm how long do you think this water will last us here Cyno?" You eyed the big bag of water in your hand as you kept walking on the flaming sand in the middle of the desert, "It should last us till tonight. Don't worry, there's a village nearby, we can restock our supplies and get some well desserved rest." You looked at Cyno, unamused "Get it? It's because we're in a dese-" For the first time he cut himself from his explanation, you sighing as if the heavens saved you as he told you to stay put, going to converse with a group of eremites that were closeby. You took a seat in the shade of a giant rock. 'Wait, why is he coming back with a-' "Get on it. Your feet aren't used to the hot sand of the desert, they're already red from the external temperature, it'd be bad if they get blisters. I borrowed us this Sumpter Beast, we'll return this on our way back." Your face started getting warmer, whether it was because of the temperature of desert or your general Mahamatra, you didn't know.

Tighnari

Student teacher dynamic

"Ow!" A book came in contact with your head as you sat on the chair listening to your master's unending lecture. "So the next time I see you head into a withering zone all on your own, I'll be cutting down your sweets that you love so much." Your eyes widened at that, not your sweets! "What did my sweets ever do to you! Plus, I had it covered in the whithering zone!" Smack "Ouch! Stop hitting me-!" Your breath got caught in your throat as Tighnari placed his book under your chin, tilting it upwards as he brought his face close to yours, looking into your eyes, "Next time you won't be doing something so reckless. Okay my Lotus?"

Heizou

Undercover agent(you) to lovers

[ (C/n) -> cover name]

"I'm so sorry I wasn't looking where I was going!" You apologised to the young looking male. "Oh it's totally fine. Don't worry about it" He smiled, asking what your name was. "(C/n)" You replied, your smile widening when he asked if you'd like to go get a cup of coffee with him.

"Can you actually be serious for once Heizou?" You rolled your eyes as you kept walking through Chinju forest, sighing at your companion's carefree nature. He chuckled, " You want me to be serious huh?" You nodded," yes! It'd be- wa-!" Your sentence was cut off as your back hit a tree bark, your eyes leveling with none other than Heizou's himself. You shifted as he gazed at you in silence, noticing how he got much closer as each moment passed. His lips barely apart from your ear, he whispered, "Is this serious enough for you?.....(Y/n)."

Xiao

Eternal acquaintances to lovers

"You guys just loveee drawing on his face while he's sleeping don't you" you chuckled, feeling the cool breeze as other 4 yakshas drew little shapes on the face of the one sleeping. "Oh you know his expression is priceless whenever he finds out what we did!" Bosacius laughed.

"Do you ever know when to take a break?!" You were used to scolding him, and he was used to hearing it. A little too used to it. "Don't you smile when I'm here telling you to take care of yourself!"

Your eyes opened slowly, sounds of fireworks and a hand stroking your hair waking you up. You rubbed the haze out of your eyes, "Did they already start?" You pushed yourself up from what you thought to be ground, but lifting your head up you realised it was, "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-" He shushed you, gazing down at you gently as his thumb stroked your cheek. Your face grew warm as you sat up to avoid his stare, only to be turned around, feeling his head on your shoulder, his breath on your neck sending shivers down your spine. "S-Shouldn't you watch the fireworks as well?" You stuttered out, not able to focus on the display yourself. He just sighed, tightening his grip around you.

Zhongli

Newly shifted neighbours to lovers

He was in the middle of pouring himself some freshly brewed tea when a knock landed on his door. Your head tilted upwards to look at the tall male. You didn't know what you expected your neighbour to look like but you certainly didn't think of this. He looked... ethereal. "Umm I just shifted here and please take this." You handed him a paper bag. He looked at it and then at you, smiling, "Grace me with your company over some tea?"

"You really don't have to stay up this late for me." You said apologetically to the man sitting beside you, helping you with your thesis you had to write last minute. "It's totally okay. So as I was saying, this part of Liyue------" this went on for hours until he saw you rubbing your eyes. He chuckled," Is Liyue's history that boring?" "Wha- no of course not! It's interesting. I've never thought Liyue had so much to it." You smiled. A large hand came up to cup your cheek, making you look at him, and suddenly you realised how close you two were sitting for all this time. "Sleep's evident in your eyes" he noted as your eyes became hazy with sleep, "I'll take you to bed. My little dove."

Albedo

Klee's babysitter to lovers

"Klee no bombing the fishes again!!" You said to the little girl, so done with her shenanigans for this week. The little girl pouted, looking down until an idea popped into her head, "Lets go see Albedo then!" She smiled.

The little ball of sunshine was sleeping peacefully in the corner of Albedo's lab wrapped in two blankets while you laid beside her, trying to fall asleep as well because you had nothing to do and there was nothing Albedo needed help with, but the cold was making it too difficult. Were you actually jealous of a little girl's pyro vision? Absolutely not. You don't know when you fell asleep, or rather, passed out.

'Oh. They're both sleeping peacefully.' He walked up to the two of you, quickly noting how your face looked a little pale. His fingertips touched your skin 'Cold' he thought.

The little girl was the first one awake," Albedo! I had this dre-" she cut herself short when she noticed her brother sleeping too...while holding you close to his chest. "Maybe Klee should sleep some more~!"

Razor

Pack members to lovers

The chase of two little pups continued in wolvendom until they reached Andreas, where they started their chase back to their destination, their minds on the piece of juicy meat the winner will get.

Some things never really change, like you and Razor having a game of chase. The difference is, however, he's chasing you this time and you two's size differences now that you've all grown up. You landed on the ground with a soft thud, your back hitting the soft grass as you saw Razor on top of you, his skin glistening in sweat as he gave you a cheery smile, "I won again (n/n)!" You playfully rolled your eyes, "Yeah yeah I get you're faster than m- eep-! Razor-!" You giggled, trying to move away as he started licking your face and neck. His hands tightened around your wrists," No running far anymore" He whined.

Chongyun

Strangers to lovers

"But I asked for that popsicle first!"

"And I saw it first!"

"I'm their regular customer!"

"Not like I have them once a year!"

You bit off a little chunk of Chongun's icy popsicle," Hey what did I say about no having my popsicle!" You laughed, getting closer to him all of a sudden," Well if you don't want to share this popsicle, I can always make do with the other one you have~" thump

Yes he fainted.

Diluc

[Childhood known] Bartender-owner relationship to lovers

"If you'd like, you can work at my tavern. I can use the help and you can use the money." A kind offer he made to his childhood neighbour when you came back from sumeru and needed a job, not wanting to stay away from your homeland.

A soft cry left your lips when a broken glass shard pricked your hand, you continued picking up the glass pieces the customer accidentally broke, ignoring the bleeding hand 'I'd have to mop the floor anyway.' A strong yet gentle grip pulled you up and towards the sink to wash and dress your wound, "Why'd you ignore it?" You bit your lip, not knowing how to answer. "Be careful next time." He sighed.

The number of people were relatively less today, maybe because of the windbloom festival, giving you an opportunity to relax and unwind with a drink yourself. The door opened as you turned your head to see who it was. "Ah master Diluc! Let me go get you some grape juice-" You were about to stand up when two arms caged you against the counter, leaning towards you," Stop calling me that. It's Diluc for you. Just Diluc."

Ajax

Contract marriage

'To stay with party A's family and take care of party A's siblings, treat A like a husband in front of A's family. The contract shall last for three years.'

Signed, (Y/n)

It's been 2 years since you signed that contract, staying with Childe's family wasn't bad, they all treated you very nicely and that a corner of your heart knew that your family was now out of bankruptcy because of this, you were content....for the most part anyway.

"Look who's home~!" A very excited Childe emerged through the main door, his servants taking away the bags he was carrying as he picked up Teucer. "I brought you Mr. Cyclopes figurine Teucer!" You smiled to yourself as you watched each of his sibling hug their older brother, used to watching the scene from afar at this point. What you didn't expect was him making his way up to you, his height towering over yours as you looked up at him confused, your face flushing as he pulled you closer to him by your waist, kissing your forehead, "How have you been my love?"

"G-Good." You stuttered out. All his siblings left the living room to give you two some privacy, happy to see the sight. He brushed the strands away from your face, looking into your eyes," Sorry about that. But I missed you. I don't know why, maybe because I look forward to seeing you now." Your eyes widened, "And... I want to take you with me the next time I leave. If you'll join me."

'Because It's not just a contract to me anymore (Y/n).' He thought.

Xingqui

Library crushes to lovers

Your eyes peeked over the book to look at the blue haired male, quickly hiding behind it again as his eyes fell on you. "Oh god please tell me he didn't see me." You muttered to yourself.

"The realm of humans was known as the Zhongzhou, while the gods reside in Shenxiao. At the end of-------" he kept explaining the plot of his favourite book, not like you weren't listening, but half your focus was on looking at him.

"Umm (Y/n). There's this new book shop that opened in north Liyue. Will you join me tomorrow?" Both your faces were warm when he said the words as you nodded shyly.

Itto

Oni dynamic

"Haha I won again! Take that (Y/n)!" The little oni jumped up as he came out victorious again. "Alright alright no need to rub it in the face Mr. Onikabuto."

"Do you really have to leave (Y/n)?" You nodded as tears pricked your eyes, hearing the sad tone from your oni friend who you've always heard cheery no matter the situation.

"As my great partner (Y/n) came back after years of staying in Natlan, they'll be joining the one and oni Arataki gang! Isn't that great!?" The said oni swung an arm around your shoulder as you ducked, "Your arm's heavy Itto!" "Of course it is I'm an Oni you know! You don't expect me to weigh like a twing do you?" He wiggled his eyebrows. "But boss should we trust them? I mean-" "Well of course! I know (Y/n) for agesss do you think I'll take just anyone into the great Arataki gang huh!?" He pointed smugly to himself as you sighed. Yup, he'll never change, and you won't have him any other way.

Kamisato ayato

Arrange marriage

Your eyes faced the floor of komore teahouse during the whole conversation of your father and the head of Kamisato Clan, accompanied with his sister and their most trusted servant. You saw the two Clan heads shaking hands from the corner of your eyes, knowing everything is sealed. You never even saw what your to-be husband looked like.

"Wouldn't you look at me even now (Y/n)?" Gentle voice of your soon to-be husband spoke as he held both your hands in his significantly bigger ones as the priest made preparations to start the wedding rituals. You swallowed nervously as you slowly looked up, your eyes falling on the mesmerizing lilac ones.

An arm wrapped around your waist from behind while the other one took away the hairbrush in your hand, placing it on the dresser as kisses were placed on your neck," My gorgeous wife." You closed your eyes, leaning your head back against his shoulder," Says the man who gave that word a meaning."

Bennett

Adventurer-medic to lovers

"Yup, bad luck again." You sighed as you bandaged his knee again. "I'm sorry (Y/n), for troubling you so much. I try to be careful but..." he rubbed the back of his head. "I know Benny, not your fault, just your luck." He nodded, giving you a thumbs up and a cheery smile as you finished bandaging his wound. "Butttt" you intergected when he was about to say something, "Nothing some tasty Chicken-Mushroom Skewers can't solve!" His eyes started sparkling the moment you said those words, making you giggle. "Yay let's go!"

Kazuha

Crew mates to lovers

"Wait up please!" You yelled to the ship that was about to leave the docks of Inazuma. You ran as fast as you could against the wooden planks 'Bad day to be wearing a Kimono damn it.' Apparently your voice wasn't loud enough for the Captain of The Crux to hear and your heart already started grimacing the loss of boarding the ship just a foot away as it started leaving. A sudden gust of wind lifted you up as your eyes closed shut in terror, the next time you opened them, you were on the ship, with nothing but a maple leaf in your hand.

You were leaning against the railing of the ship, looking at the vast ocean in fasination until a strong gust of wind passed, swaying your footing, almost tumbling you over but a hand to your wrist pulled you back just in time before it could happen. Your breath was caught in the throat due to the event, and because of the stranger with platinum hair and ruby eyes that saved your life. He was.... breathtaking. "Careful, the wind can be flickering unexpectedly once in a while. It's a vast ocean after all." He smiled.

Venti

Troublemaker and muse

You raised an eyebrow as your beer fell off the table, a person climbing on it instead. You looked up to see who it was, silently grimacing over your spilled beer. "Are you gonna pay for my beer or not" you said looking up at him while he ran his fingers along the lyre, "I'll pay you back with my wonderful performance~!" You sighed in irritation.

Your form busted through the tavern's door in the middle of the night, scanning over your surroundings before your eyes landed on the mop of green you were looking for. You swiftly made your way over, carrying the windy bard over your shoulder like a potato sack as you slid a pouch of mora in master Diluc's direction with an apologetic smile. "Put me downnnn I wanna kiss you!!" He whined on your shoulder as your face matched Master Diluc's hair.

Thoma

Ayaka's best friend

"Here let me help you with that." He took the heavy looking bags from your hand just as you entered the Kamisato estate. "Ah thank you Thoma." You smiled at him.

"I'm also inviting (Y/n)." Ayaka spoke to her brother over supper and Thoma couldn't help but chime in," If they're coming, It'd be great if I can make their favourite dish." Ayaka and Ayato gave each other knowing looks as Thoma looked between them, confused, "Did I say something wrong?"

"I'm sure (Y/n) could use some help for this event. I hand this task to you Thoma." Said Ayaka as she gently pushed him into a room and slid the door closed so he couldn't escape. "Thoma it's you-!" You squeaked, surprised by the sudden entrance. "Y-Yes Lady (Y/n). Lady Ayaka said I should help you if you were to face any difficulties. So do you need any assistance?" He scratched the back of his head. Your eyes fell onto the kimono belt in your head and then at him, your cheeks warming, "N-No it's fine." He wordlessly came towards you, taking the fabric from your hand, silently waiting for you to turn around as permission. You did, your breath getting caught in your throat as you felt his hands do their work, his hot breath hitting the back of your neck. A few moments passed, your head becoming lightheaded with each second until he did the final knot, whispering in your ear, "It's done, my princess."

Gorou

Subordinates to lovers

"Bear with it" you said as you poured the disinfectant over your commander's bleeding gash. He suppressed a hiss as you blowed on the wound in hopes to make it feel less burning. "Can you be more careful Gorou? There was no reason for you to come in front of me to stop that arrow!" You glared at him. "Your mother entrusted you to me (Y/n)" he tried reasoning. "As if Lady Kokomi didn't tell me to bring you back safe and sound!" He just chuckled at that.

You were laying down on the make shift infirmary's bed when a very happy Gorou emerged through the door, out of breath as if he ran all this way (yes he did) "(Y/n)! We did it! The war's over!" He ran over to you and hugged you tightly, you noticing how his tail was swaying back and forth. You chuckled. "I'm so happy (Y/n)! I can finally ask your mother for your hand in marri-" Your eyes widened.

"Oh god i shouldn't have said it like that- (Y/n)? (Y/n)?! Oh god don't faint-!"

Mhm, franatic Gorou is pretty cutee~

Kaeya

Fake dating

"Oh~, who is this pretty person beside you Kaeya?" Lisa ask, intrigued. "My partner." Kaeya smiled.

That was five months ago.

You two sawyed from side to side to the silent beat of the music as you looked at him, "So when is your 'target' arriving Kaeya? It's been 4 hours." "Oh don't worry. He'll be here soon enough. My brother can be a little late. He is returning to Mondstadt after months after all." He replied, looking into your eyes just as the venue's door opened to reveal the said man. In the blink of an eye, Kaeya's face was buried in the crook of your neck, " The hell are you doing?!" You whisper yelled at the man, not knowing what he was up to now. If you knew something about Kaeya, it was his unpredictable mind. "Just making sure my brother believes this of course. He has very keen eyes for lies you see. I want to prove to him that I can infact find an adequate partner for myself." "You sure it's not because of that 5 dozen wine bottles he put at stake." "That's just an added bonus!" He smirked as he rose up to his full height, taking your chin in between his finger and thumb, bringing your face closer to his, " Plus, Who knows? I might actually persue it to make it real."

Neuvillette

Second chance [mates][immortal reader- non specified species]

"I'll wait for you" said the man you loved so dearly with a solemn look in his eyes. "Don't" was all you said before you departed to the underworld, having not done anything wrong yet having no choice.

A hundred years passed since your own lover sealed your verdict, your heart wrenching with pain each time you think of it. 'He had his reasons. It's for the sake of fontaine.' Your heart longed for the hydro dragon, but you've made your heart think that 'He must have wanted this.'

The day finally came when you reached the surface again, and what you didn't expect was to see him waiting at the entrance. "Neuvillette...." You whispered, your eyes trying to drink back the tears they started producing on their own. The said man walked towards you in slow strides, his mind detached from his surroundings except you. Strong arms engulfed you in a delicate embrace, cradling you against his chest as if you were made of porcelain. And as much as your mind told you to pull away, your hands only gripped him tighter, crying against him. A few moments passed when you looked up at him, " Where's your partner?" Your heart broke as you asked that question, but you needed to know. "Right in front of me." He whispered. It was hard for you to believe him, you expected him to move on. "Did you forget.." he started, his lips placing a delicate kiss on the corner of your lips," That dragons mate for life?"

Wriothesley

Classic Husband x Wife

As soon as you stepped foot into your husband's office, the door being shut behind you, you heard fumbling noise. You made your way up the rounded stairs, crossing your arms over your chest as you made your way over to him, "Don't tell me you're drinking tea again Wriothesley." You narrowed your eyes at him. "No of course not. Why would I drink more when you set a boundary of 7 per day" he chuckled. "Oh?" You raised an eyebrow, leaning against his desk as you wiped the corner of his lips," What's this then?" You showed him the sugar powder on your fingertip. He chuckled nervously, "You see-"

Gentle kisses across your face is what woke you up, your hand tightening against the fabric....wait. You looked up and around you, realising you're in Wriothesley's office and in his lap, clutching onto his shirt. He softly kissed your forehead," Morning sunshine. Ready to go to the surface today?"

Lyney

Opposites attract

"Well someone looks a little out of it on a fine day like this." Your footsteps came to a halt as a guy stopped in front of you. His hand came up and passed by the side of your hair," Let me make it a little better" he chuckled as he pulled a rose 'out of your hair.' It was pretty, you thought taking it from him and giving him a small smile,"Thank you."

You pulled him along with you by his ear gently while he tried keeping up with your pace," I was just entertaining them!" He reasoned as you continued walking," You were clearly still there when they told you they didn't wanna see your tricks." "But it looked like they could use some help!" He whined. "Not everyone deserves you lifting up their spirits Lyney." You sighed. "Well, I can always lift your spirits up. If you know what I mean." Bonk

Freminet

Fated divers

Your hands splashed the water around you as oxygen depleted at a fast rate from your body, you tried tugging on the vines tightly wrapped around your foot in hopes to break them but they won't let up. You extended your arms up in an attempt to swim back to the surface but it was becoming harder by the second. It wasn't long before black dots started covering your vision and you started sinking further down.

Your eyes open with a start, the endless water still surrounding you but there was a stranger, with his lips on yours.

"Hey there Freminet~!"

"Oh hi (Y/n)" he gave you a small smile, looking up from where he was tinkering with clockwork. "I got you Seabird Sojourn!" You smiled as you sat beside him, looking closely at the details of his doing. You took his hand into yours, making his freckled cheeks blush a pink hue," Let's eat first before it gets cold."

Written by Yours truly

Masterlist

2K notes · View notes

luvfy0dor · 2 months

Text

“There Is No Other Love, It's Only Yours ♡⁠˖” BSD Men x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol

Warnings; Maybe ooc, barely proofread

Description; how the bsd men say ‘i love you’ without actually saying it (sigma does actually say it but that's besides the point)

A/n; Next fic post will be a request! Sorry they're taking me so long : ( this is a new style of writing for me and it's really short, but I figured I'd give it a shot. It might be a little whack though because I'm real tired rn I took an hour long nap before writing Sigmas

Dazai says ‘i love you’ best through physical touch and small gestures of the sort, specifically touching your hands. As soon as you're within his reach, your hand is in his and his thumb is rubbing over your knuckles affectionately. His lips brush against your knuckles when he gives excuses to Kunikida on why he can't make it today with your sleepy form right next to him on the bed. He'll press kisses to each knuckle while he listens to the blonde tell him the amount of absences and early leaves he's had in the past month and quietly sigh. He doesn't care where he is either, he's shameless it's his affection and will happily grab you by the waist or hand infront of a crowd. He loves to show you off because you're the best thing to happen to him, but if you're shy he'll tone it down to keep you comfortable.

“Ah! There you are. I've been looking for you. Give me your hand so I don't lose track of you again...ah, you got me! I did just want to hold your hand, but what's the harm?”

Chuuya shows his love through acts of service- I know a lot of people probably would assume gift giving, which he does love to do, but he finds himself commiting acts of service more frequently. Every time he notices you seem tired after work, he'll do the chores that you had accidentally forgotten, even if he's tired. He plans dates for the two of you atleast monthly, always picking a restaurant or activity he heard you mention wanting to try. He does find himself spending money when he sees things that remind him of you, but he thinks spending time with you is even better. If he takes your car somewhere, it's always coming home with a refilled gas tank. If you need to lift something heavy, he offers to use his ability to help you. He'll do your laundry whenever he notices it piling up and bring you coffee, tea, or water in the morning when you're still lingering in bed.

“Mornin' sweetheart, I got you a drink. Be careful not to spill it, s'real dark in here and opening the blinds doesn't help any...we got a date tonight, by the way. You said the new restaurant sounded good so I figured we could go tonight if you're up for it.”

Fyodor spends quality time with you. He likes to keep you nearby when he reads or works, although he prefers when you're on the quieter side during those activities. Otherwise, he's happy to talk with you for however long the two of you are content with. Usually you'll have conversations over a game of chess, which he almost always wins while you're attention is divided between talking and playing, but he's a good sport about it. He'll give you pointers on how to do better in the next game. He'll play his cello for you, too. If he finds your hobbies interesting enough he'll take part in them. If you paint he'd be more than happy to join you, chatting with you while your brushes paint images of scenery and figures on the once blank canvas. He prefers what are considered more sophisticated hobbies, but he'd watch a chick flick with you or let you teach him how to play your favorite video game if it really made you happy.

“If you're as determined to win a game as you say you are, you should probably make an attempt to put more focus into the game. I do love hearing your voice, moya lyubov, but thinking about how you're going to move your pieces and talking are counterproductive. We can try it again, or we could do something else, whatever you'd like, Myshka.”

Nikolai shows you his love primarily through flirty words and loving touches. Whenever he walks next to you, his hand is on either your lower back, hip, or in your hand. When sitting with you, he'll fiddle with your fingers and play with them harmlessly, occasionally fighting off the urge to bend them back far enough to break them. In the same heartbeat, hell bring them to his lips and press kisses to every finger tip while telling you a flirty joke. He often lays his legs across your lap or lets you lay yours over his while you play with his hair. Sometimes he'll walk up behind you and whispers a pick up line in your ear with a large grin on his face. He likes seeing your reaction and watching you squirm in embarrassment in his grasp.

“You must be an artist, my dove, because you are so good at drawing me in! Hey- you can't go anywhere just because you thought my joke was cheesy! I can find some wine to go with it if you'd like, hehe.”

Sigma shows his love through the way he trusts you. Obviously with everything he's gone through trusting people became really difficult for him, but you came along and earned that trust when you proved that you were a permanent factor in his life and wouldn't betray him. He trusted you enough to let you into the Aerial Casino and stay with him regularly in his quarters. He let his walls down around you and opened up about his origin story. He would let you get physically close to him and touch him, coming to love the feeling of your lips against his, pressed in a sweet kiss. Though he still kept his independence and a desire to not depend solely on you in fear of betrayal, you could tell that he had come a long way from the man he once was after his experiences in the DOA.

“I felt so foolish after I fell for Fyodors tricks again, but dealing with the distrust and suspicion I held towards everyone else was just as hard as the realization of messing up again...thank you for listening to me, you've helped me so much. I don't think I could ever repay you enough...I love you.”

A/n; AHHHHHHHH I'm so tired but fuck it we ball I gotta write chisme for Spanish and it's going no where I lied to my teacher and told her it was almost done it is not almost done I have barely met any of the requirements for it but I won't do it if I don't post something so

484 notes · View notes

florencemtrash · 5 months

Text

The Ballad of the Shadowsinger

Azriel x Reader Oneshot

“Because I’m waiting for my mate to call me home.” The Shadowsinger said, “Because I’m waiting to die.”

Warnings: ANGST with a happy ending, mentions of attempted SA and suicidal ideation (they're very brief, but please do read with caution)

Author's note: I finished this at 3am last night and I think it's pretty apparent... buuuuuut I'm going to post it anyway. Enjoy...

The Shadowsinger arrived one winter night, curling into existence on the border of town like cream through coffee. Jadhan was only a boy at the time - painfully human with a broken leg that had never healed properly. The Midlands were a terrible place for a child to grow up - a place where the only thing more unstable than the ground was its sense of safety.

But things changed when the Shadowsinger arrived, bringing with him gold and the brutal violence required to scare off the bandits and murders that slipped in from the nearby Lordship. And when the Lord came for the Shadowsinger’s head, it was the fae male was the one who walked away from the fight. Except it wasn’t a fight. It was a slaughter.

Jadhan was thirty-seven now with three young boys that had come in a cluster, forcing their way into the world one after another. Sasha had never been quite pleased with him for that, but her love for her sons and her husband outweighed the pain and hardship in the end.

The boys - Mikhail, Alzhar, and Zhik - ran around the tavern, ducking beneath tables and barstools while their height still allowed it. The Shadowsinger watched them with the faintest of smiles as they clambered about, begging for more attention from his shadows.

There was little known about the Shadowsinger this deep into the Continent, but whispers still passed through the mouths of travelers at the inn. The most common piece of gossip was that he was a Prythian outlaw - banished to the Continent after attempting to kill his Lord. Jadhan didn’t know - and he figured he would never find out.

The Shadowsinger was so quiet that no one even knew his real name. They all called him Shadowsinger - Shadow for short. He disappeared into the woods at night and stalked into town come morning, but give a shout at any time and he would be there, flying overhead like a black stormcloud.

“On the house, Shadow.” Jadhan said, dropping the glass onto the sticky counter. Whisky neat, two fingers - just the way he liked it.

The Shadowsinger picked it up, swirling the amber liquid around like he hoped it would start talking to him, “You say that every night.”

“That’s because a free drink is the least I could get you.” Jadhan tipped his head towards the rickety stage where the local songbirds were setting up. The singer, Phaedra, had her eyes on Shadow, sending love and gratitude his way like a flood, “Phaedra’s been telling everyone what you did for her. You know, with the Morois boy.”

Shadow grimaced, taking his first sip. He grimaced again. The whiskey was home-brewed and tasted like it. Everyone in town said a shot of the stuff could kill a man, but Shadow was hardly a man, and more shadow than fae.

Lev Morois had had his eyes on Phaedra for a while now. And he didn’t like to be denied anything, especially women. Normally he traveled to the Lordship for his fill, and he would have been better off going there last night. Instead he’d forced his way into Phaedra’s home… and Shadow had made sure he’d never be able to hurt a woman like that ever again.

“How old are your boys now, Jadhan?” His voice was deep and smoky.

The trio neared closer, as if they knew they’d been summoned. The eldest, Mikhail, nearly crashed into the countertop, forgetting he had to bend down now. A tendril of black shadow shot out, muffling the blow and corralling him back out onto the open dancefloor with the rest of the children.

Jadhan sighed and rubbed at a burned spot on the counter, “Too old, and growing faster than weeds.”

It was a sweet pain for Azriel to see the three brothers romping around. It was almost winter and soon enough they’d be wrestling in the frosted fields, shoving snow down each other’s shirts, and hurling it at each other's heads.

When was the last time he’d seen his brothers? Cassian had stopped by twenty-five years ago, shocked and scared to see Azriel looking so wretched. The next time Azriel’s shadows had warned him, and they’d sent Cassian away.

Rhysand was a different story… he’d never forgiven Azriel for what he’d done - and rightfully so - but that didn’t make the pain any easier to swallow. That didn’t make Azriel miss them any less.

He tossed the rest back and, to Jadhan’s surprise, he let the barkeep refill it.

Again.

And again.

Phaedra’s voice crooned over the crowd, settling over drunk men and women like a warm blanket until it was time for their sober partners to drag them home. Those who were alone either settled into the hard booths for a nap or resigned themselves to a stumble home in the dark. They’d all make it to their beds in the end - The Shadowsinger would see to that.

He dropped a gold coin onto the counter - triple what the night’s libations actually cost. It was the briefest of stumbles that had Jadhan gripping onto the male’s shoulder and forcing him back into his seat.

Azriel wasn’t drunk. It would take an ocean of human liquor to get a fae drunk and then some. But he was starting to feel something.

“I got a pinch of ambrose from a merchant passing through.” Shadow’s eyes snapped up to Jadhan, who only raised his hands in surrender, “Hey, hey, hey, I know you don’t drink my whiskey for the taste, so I thought I'd put something in there to remind you of home. Something to loosen you up like liquor is supposed to.”

The Shadowsinger winced at that word: Home.

“Very well.” He said.

The boys had gone home with Sasha hours ago, and without them running about with their usual compatriots, the tavern seemed dull. Now was no longer the time for dancing and riotous laughter. Now was the time for the sad drunks and those who didn’t want to go home.

But Azriel wasn’t drunk and he desperately wanted to go home.

It was the shame that kept him rooted to the stool like a stubborn weed… that and Rhysand’s promise that if he ever laid eyes on Azriel again, he’d rip the wings off his back.

Jadhan seemed to understand that about him, leaning over the counter on sturdy arms thick as tree trunks. His leg was still lame, always had been and always would be, but that had never held him back much.

“What’re you doing here, Shadow?”

His hazel eyes flickered up.

“What’s it been? Twenty-five years you’ve been in town now?”

“Thirty. Exactly.”

So that was why the Shadowsinger had drank so much that night. It was to commemorate the sad, terrible anniversary of his banishment to the Midlands.

“Don't you think that's long enough? I don’t mean any offense, but don't you have anywhere else to go? Friends? Family?”

The male gritted his teeth and Jadhan had the sinking feeling he'd just poked the bear.

“I thought I was wanted here.”

“Of course you are. Hell, we’d all be dead or piss poor if it weren’t for you.” Jadhan shook his head, “I don’t know what you’re running from - if you’re a thief, a murderer, a treasonous bastard or all of the above-”

Shadow flinched, actually flinched, and Jadhan knew it was all of the above.

“But whatever it is,” He continued, “I think you’ve made up for it.”

Azriel stilled, shadows continuing to swirl around the wet, empty glass in front of him.

How he wished those words were true, but only a human would think thirty years was a long time. They were nothing if not optimistic.

“No. I haven’t.” Shadow said flatly. Silence stretched between them, thick and heavy, until Jadhan finally sighed and went to clear the glass.

“I had a mate.” He whispered the words so quietly, Jadhan almost didn’t hear him.

His thick eyebrows disappeared into his receding hairline. He didn’t know much about fae customs and the ones he did know about were often violent, strange, or both… usually both. But he had a great deal of respect for mating bonds and understood they were prized above all else to fae.

“Had?”

Shadow’s lips flattened into a thin line and Jadhan could have sworn his eyes began to brim with years.

The Shadowsinger nodded stiffly.

“Dead?”

Shadow gritted his teeth and nodded once more, wings drooping low enough to brush against the sawdust packed floor.

Jadhan sighed so deeply he seemed to shrink into himself, and Azriel was once again struck by how quickly humans aged.

Silver streaks were already beginning to color his temples and his leg was getting stiffer and stiffer each day. It wouldn't be long until he was forced to swallow his pride and buy a cane like Sasha had been suggesting.

It seemed like just yesterday Jadhan had limped his way into the woods, calling out for the Shadowsinger with a copper coin clenched in his fist and a bargain to make.

Kill my father, and I will do anything you ask of me. Anything at all.

There had been such determination in the little boy’s body that Azriel hadn’t hesitated to fold his small fingers back over the coin and then do what he had been told… to do what he’d always been told to do.

“I’m sorry, Shadow.” He shook his graying hair, “I’m so sorry.”

Azriel grimaced, fists tightening until they turned pale, “Don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t you dare.”

He frowned, “And why not?”

The Shadowsinger stilled and got quiet again, “Because it was my fault. I killed her.”

Jadhan, for all his mortal naivete, didn’t look surprised at his answer. He only twisted his mouth to the side in thought before asking once again, "Why are you here, Shadow? Why don't you leave?"

Azriel looked at him, hazel eyes filled with despair.

He would never tell Jadhan this, but he’d always been envious of humans for one thing - they could die of old age. They could be killed easily. So easily that all it would take was one flick of Azriel's wrist and Jadhan would be no more.

Fae were not so easy to kill, and their only end was a violent one. Maybe that was why Rhys had banished him to the middle of the Continent where life was harsh but simple, and fae were nowhere to be found.

No one here was strong enough to kill him. Azriel would know - he’d spent the first five years on the Continent searching for a way to die and getting into so many bloodbaths it had lost its luster.

“Because I’m waiting for my mate to call me home.” The Shadowsinger said, “Because I’m waiting to die.”

___

There were many reasons Azriel built his house in the woods. Firstly, he liked the privacy Secondly, when the nightmares came, there was no telling the damage he could do.

Tonight’s dreams were especially violent and cruel to him.

Elain appeared before him, sweet and delicate as a dove and despite knowing better, he couldn’t help but follow her into the darkness like a fly to a carnivorous flower. It wasn’t her fault - he should have known better than to drag them both into this mess. She’d been reckless, hungry for some semblance of control in this new and strange world, and he had been all too willing to play the role of the selfless knight.

When she kissed him it felt wrong, but like every other night, he was too powerless to push away. This was how it had happened, and there was no changing that.

She whispered against his lips, “Thank you for coming for me.”

Azriel’s stomach twisted, because two people had gone on the mission into Beron’s lair, and two people had come out. Azriel had wrapped his arms around Elain’s silky body after saving her, and left you behind.

He followed Elain further, chasing her shimmering pink skirts onto the Autumn Court battlefield where she dove into the grasses and disappeared.

This was where it truly went wrong.

He caught sight of you on the hill, blood blooming like roses from where the ash arrows pierced your flesh. Your wings were gone and you leaned too far backward, still feeling their phantom weight against your back. That was what it had taken to bring you down. That was what it had taken for Beron to break you.

It was like a bolt of lightning running through his body when the bond snapped into place. Your bruised eyes shot open and you fought against the chains, horror freezing your heart.

Azriel would know, because he felt it all.

“AZ! NO!”

Beron’s ax caught the light as it came down on your neck and this wonderful thing he’d dreamt about for over five hundred years was snatched away from him.

Azriel shot up in bed, skin slick and suffocating under the blankets. He kicked them off his body, taking big, desperate gulps of air as his stomach and shadows settled down.

He rubbed his chest, feeling that hollow space where the bond used to be.

He’d had you for less than a minute… he should have had an eternity with you. You should have had an eternity with all of them.

On the day you died, Rhys and Cassian had also lost a sister. Feyre and Nesta had lost a best friend. Cassian may have been quick to forgive him, but Rhys could never. He’d already lost one sister. Nothing could have prepared him to lose you too.

Shadows swarmed around him and he already knew his powers had wrecked the roof once again. Moonlight streamed through the newly made hole in the ceiling, pooling around his shaking form. He imagined it was the Mother staring down at him with her unblinking eye. Disappointed. Angry.

The mating bond had been utterly wasted on him.

“I’m-I’m sorry, Y/n.” He gasped out, trembling. He wrapped his wings around his shaking shoulders, as if that would be enough to shield him from what he’d done.

Once again he was that little boy trapped in the cellar. Abandoned. Unloved. Alone. But this time he deserved it.

“Please. Please.” He begged. He begged for the madness to take him. He begged for an end to his eternal life.

“I want to come home.” He sobbed. “Please. I want to come home.”

You stood before him at the foot of the bed - a vision that had arrived three days after coming to the Midlands and never left. You looked at him sadly, your white dress hanging still despite the breeze that flowed through the room. But you didn’t say a word. You didn’t say anything at all.

___

Jadhan was fifty-five now. The Shadowsinger still came to the tavern every night, drank his whiskey on the house, and left once the songs were over.

Mikhail had left at eighteen, chasing after opportunities on the edge of the Continent. Zhik had died the year before - the youngest and the weakest of the trio. Not even the Shadowsinger could fight the cold that came for him in the Winter and stole him away before Spring.

Now it was Alzhar and Jadhan that ran the tavern. Alzhar who poured the Shadowsinger his drinks.

“On the house.” He said, sliding the glass along the countertop. Whiskey. Two fingers. Just how the Shadowsinger liked it.

“Thanks, Alzhar.” He raised the glass in the air before tossing it back in one shot, grimacing. Either he was getting older, or the whiskey had gotten worse.

Snow flurried past the windows, more rain than anything else.

“Happy Solstice day.” The Shadowsinger said with the faintest of smiles.

“Happy Solstice day.”

It was no grand holiday in the Midlands, and it certainly could never hold a candle to the festivities that were going on in Velaris, but still, Azriel would take whatever comfort he could get.

Phaedra had quietly retired from singing, opting to strum along with her guitar in the background. But her daughter led the band now, a vibrant star in the midst of these quiet lands with a smoky voice that was only rivaled by her mother.

“Happy Solstice day, everyone!” The tavern-goers cheered and a new generation of children shrieked from their spots closest to the stage. “Now I know it’s not looking too great outside, but we all know what dear old, Phaedra says.”

“Are you calling me old, Miss Devra?” Phaedra hollered, red painted lips turned down in a frown.

“I’m calling you a dear, Mama. You’re still as young as a rosebud in April.”

“That’s right!” Alzhar whooped. Phaedra winked and blew her future son-in-law a kiss.

Devra’s smile was positively radiant, “Alright, alright well whatever. She says daisies look brightest when they’re down in the shits, but that’s not really the most appetizing turn of phrase now is it?”

Everyone erupted in a mixture of laughter and cheer.

“Come on now, Dev.” Alzhar called out, “You’ve kept us waiting long enough. Sing!”

She rolled her eyes playfully, “Well since you asked so kindly,” She cleared her throat and began to croon,

“When my mama first warned me you’ve got trouble on your tail, I told her foxes are quick runners and my heart ain’t just for sale. I won’t be wooed by sweet flowers or sugar tea on ice, I just want someone who’ll love me and who’ll never think twice. I’ve-”

The tavern door burst open, letting in a howling blast of night-chilled air tinged with rain and frost. Everyone cringed back except Shadow, clutching at their thick coats and gasping at the sight of the being that came in from the darkness.

The female was anything but cold with her shining, warm eyes and radiant skin. She glowed like she'd been brushed with an otherworldly glimmer. She was sunlight shooting through crystal.

Dev stopped singing immediately, her hands slipping from the worn out strings with a strangled thrum.

The Shadowsinger stumbled, actually stumbled, to his feet, and the world seemed to fall silent.

Shadows shot out towards her, curling around her legs and licking the hem of her midnight blue coat. She was the moonlit darkness given form, delicate and fierce at the same time.

“Azriel.” She breathed out, finally giving a name to the nameless fae. “Azriel.” She repeated, still in disbelief.

The Shadowsinger - Azriel - walked forward without a sound, his scarred hands shaking at his sides.

She looked ready to throw her arms around him. Whether it was to embrace him or strangle him was yet to be seen.

Before she could make a move or say anything further, he dropped to his knees, head bowed and trembling. He swallowed thickly, keeping his eyes trained on the floor between her feet like he was scared to even look at her straight on.

If he had been looking at her, he would have seen the horrified shock that parted her lips and widened her eyes.

He pulled out that sleek obsidian blade he carried with him everywhere. The knife seemed to hum, the silent sound reverberating through the room and causing the air above it to warp.

Everyone knew that that knife was as much a part of him as his wings. But he held it out to her now like an offering, wings stretching open so that everyone could see the orange glow of the fire through the thin membrane, and the tendons that flowed through them like rivers.

Alzhar looked to his father in confusion. Was this some fae custom he wasn't aware of? Should they all be bowing to her? Perhaps she was their queen.

But his father only let out a slow breath, shoulders sinking down.

The Shadowsinger was the picture of reverent misery, and he would let her take whatever she wanted for her revenge.

His wings.

His life.

Anything...

Because I’m waiting for my mate to call me home.

That was what the Shadowsinger had revealed to him years ago, and Jadhan had never forgotten it.

Because I’m waiting to die.

Her beautiful face crumpled, then turned resolute. She ignored the blade, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt and hauling him up to his feet. Azriel’s eyes blew open in surprise.

“You bastard. You absolute bastard.” She said, her silky voice shaking, “I’ve been looking for you for years.”

“Y/n,” Azriel whispered reverently, “I-”

She slammed her lips against his, swallowing whatever desperate apology had been about to escape his mouth.

The Shadowsinger froze, then slowly melted into her touch, wrapping his arms around her waist so tightly it was a miracle her ribs didn’t snap. Shadows swirled around the pair in a perfect mixture of light and dark - like moonlight bleeding through winter clouds.

No one in the tavern could stand to look away. They were absolutely transfixed. Some great power was moving in the world and they could feel it. Magic or not, it demanded to be felt.

When the two fae finally pulled away from each other, gasping for breath, something in the earth seemed to crack open and shake the ground, releasing pressure that had been building for hundreds and hundreds of years.

Tears slipped out of her eyes, salty and not entirely unwelcome.

“Oh, Az.” She whispered, cradling his face with one hand and clutching her chest with the other. The Shadowsinger was weeping now, curling into her like a vine seeking sunlight, “How could I have forgotten this?”

He buried his face in her neck, breathing in the scent of elderflower and mountain pine like a man starved. His shadows grew around him, thick and powerful. And before anyone could even let out a strangled gasp, they disappeared with a whisper of smoke and shadow.

You reappeared in darkness, holding Azriel’s shaking body against you like an anchor to a ship.

“I’m here, Az. I’m here.” You gently shushed him, tangling your fingers through his hair.

You scanned the room finding nothing but a rickety bed and a dresser in the corner by way of furniture, and a small pile of firewood against the wall.

Moonlight streamed in through the roof and you held out a hand, latching onto the rays and weaving them together so tightly they filled the room with a silver glow.

“Az.” You whispered, all your attention turned back on him, on your mate. "Az." You gently shook him, pressing fervent kisses to his temple until he finally lifted his eyes.

Azriel looked exhausted, purple bruises shading the hollows beneath his gorgeous eyes.

“How-” Azriel gasped, “How is this-”

“Bryaxis brought my body to the Cauldron.” You finished, equally out of breath, “It took him years to put me back together but… he did it. He did it, Az.”

Azriel closed his eyes, sinking to his knees. This time you let him fall. And you fell with him, climbing into his lap so he could bury his face in your wind-swept hair.

Home.

You smelled like home to him.

“Promise me." He begged, "Promise me you’re real, Y/n. Please, promise me. I’ll-I'll do anything." He could feel you on the other end of the bond, your heart pulsing and alive. But… he didn’t know if he'd be able to survive if he woke in the morning to find that this was all some terribly perfect dream.

“I’m here, Az. I’m here.” You replied thickly, “I’m here and I’m whole.” You tugged off your coat, throwing it somewhere behind you, and pulled down the neck of your sweater. A thick line of scar tissue wrapped around your throat, one of the many physical reminders of the horrors Beron had put you through.

Azriel stilled, one hand daring to trace the pale flesh with a feather-light touch. “I… I did this.”

“No...No.” You whispered, brushing away the moisture that had collected on his cheeks, “You didn’t do this, Az.”

“I left you behind.” His voice broke. “I took Elain and I left you behind. Y/n, I’m so sorry. Please, I’m so sorry.”

You flinched and closed your eyes. It was one of your worst memories to date - the sight of Azriel’s broken face as the first ash arrow caught you in the back and brought you to the ground. The second was what had done you in, piercing through the membrane of your wings and digging into the ground, pinning you there.

Azriel had only gripped Elain’s golden form closer to his body. He could only fly one of you out, and in that moment he had made his choice and leapt into the sky.

Azriel felt your emotion through the bond and desperation flooded his system once again.

He couldn’t lose you. Not again. Not like this. Not when he had so much to make up for.

“I know what I did, Y/n. I know it was unforgivable, but I swear to you I will do anything you ask. Whatever it takes. If you’ll just give me a chance, I- ”

“Shhhhhhh.” You shook your head, pressing your finger to his lips and silencing him. “I forgive you, Az.” You said, cupping his face.

He immediately leaned into your touch, craving the feeling of your soft skin against his.

“I don’t-I don't want to think about that anymore. Trust me, I’ve spent the last half a century agonizing over it.” You said, smiling without humor.

His hands rubbed up and down your back, tracing the ruined remnants of your wings and silently begging you to explain.

You hesitated, collecting your words and speaking them carefully, “I would have come sooner but… I was so scared and confused about everything. My body didn’t feel like mine anymore without my wings with-'' Your hand flew up to your throat on instinct.

Azriel gently pulled your fingers away, kissing the pads of your fingertips all the way to your palm, and then your wrist. His lips brushed against the pulsing vein as soft as a feather. It was such a small point of contact, but it grounded you to reality.

“I couldn’t remember anything. It was like… like I was starting from scratch. Building my life from the ground up.”

Azriel repeated the gesture with your other hand, soft lips skimming over your skin until you shivered, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” He whispered softly, “I should have been there.”

“You didn’t know.”

“I should have known.”

You looked at him for a long time, drinking in the sight of him and refamiliarizing yourself with his face. He did the same with you.

He looked tired and thinner than you remembered, the elegant planes of his face now harsh and sharp. But buried beneath all those years of loneliness, he was still there - your Azriel. The male who never did anything in half-measures. The male who couldn’t help but make some of the most impulsive decisions you’d ever seen in your life, and also some of the most careful.

Gods, you’d missed him.

You'd missed talking to him and laughing with him. You'd missed the simple joy of being in his presence and the way that the world seemed to fall with hush whenever he entered a room.

“I came for you as soon as I remembered.” You brushed a strand of inky black hair from his forehead, and then flicked him. Hard. “But you just had to go and disappear on the Continent without a trace.”

That wasn’t completely true. He’d left bloody, brutal footprints for a while, but those had dried up too quickly.

The smile Azriel gave was weak and dull, but it was a start, “I’m sorry I kept you waiting, Y/n.”

“That’s alright." You murmured against his lips before kissing him, "You can make it up to me.”

Azriel’s heart leapt in his chest, and the bond responded in kind, singing louder than a choir of a thousand songbirds. Even after all this time, even after everything, the Shadowsinger hoped.

“Y/n-” That light began to dim, hateful voices whispering in his ear that he was unworthy of you, that he would destroy this chance at happiness just as swiftly as he’d done the first time, that he would ruin it all, “I don’t deserve-”

“Stop it, Az.” Your words were soft but commanding, “I don’t care about what you think you deserve or don’t deserve. I want you. I want my best friend back. I want you back.” You wiped the tears from your cheeks, “I want you back in Velaris, and if it turns out I’m still pissed at you for everything, we’ll figure it out, ok?”

You took a shaky breath and Azriel looked up at you in awe. He gathered you in his arms and captured your lips in a softer, more gentle kiss. A kiss that said, I’m tired. I’m so so tired and for the first time in my life I’m going to force the voices that tell me terrible things to be silent.

And it worked for a spell, but Azriel was pulling away again, looking guilty.

“Rhys-”

“I’ve already handled Rhys.”

His brow arched up every so slightly. Your guilty eyes flitted to the side.

You loved Rhys like a brother, and you fought with him like siblings do. That was why the last thing you'd done before leaving Velaris was force him to lift the banishment... and then you'd punched him in the face.

“I wasn’t exactly happy with him when I found out he banished you to the Continent. And to the Midlands too. I’ve heard it’s terribly boring here.”

Azriel smiled, and this time it was a genuine one full of love and relief, “Everywhere is terribly boring without you. And terribly painful.”

“That’s a very good answer.” You replied, feeling that a great weight had been lifted off your chest.

He held you in a gentle caress, tracing your brow bone and the curve of your lips and committing the feeling of you to memory.

This was real. This was real. This was real.

You both folded in on each other like paper houses laid to rest, until you were tangled up on the floor. There was a perfectly functional bed not even four feet away, but even that seemed like too much effort after everything that had happened.

Azriel wrapped his wings protectively around you, settling down with his head against your chest so he could hear your heartbeat. You hummed in tired contentment, peppering his forehead with kisses as your eyelids began to droop.

“I want to go home, Azriel,” You murmured, “I want to go home with you.”

Home.

Azriel swallowed thickly, “We’ll leave tomorrow first thing in the morning. I promise.”

You opened a bleary eye, examining your mate quietly, “Do you not want to say goodbye?”

Azriel kissed your chest, right over your heart. Thirty years ago he would have said yes. He would have taken time to get his affairs in order and to make sure Jadhan and his sons, Phaedra and Devra, and the rest were taken care of. But things had changed, and he knew that no matter what, they would be alright. They would live and travel and fall in love. If they were lucky, they’d experience the joy of dying in their sleep surrounded by loved ones at the end of a long and eventful road.

“No. No, I don’t think so.”

You pressed one final kiss to his forehead, absorbing him in the warmth of your arms. Azriel sighed, hanging onto the golden thread in his chest that wrapped around his soul and bound him to you.

“They’ll be ok, my love.” You murmured.

And so will we. You whispered the promise down the bond, soft and gentle.

He closed his eyes, pressing the words I love you into your skin.

“I know.” He whispered to the night sky once your breathing had evened out, “I know.”

That night at the tavern felt like a dream - the kind that left you groggy and awestruck when you initially awoke, and then slipped away like water cupped in a child’s hands.

Everything seemed louder than before, even though the townspeople walked about in a contemplative daze. It was the forest. That’s what it was. It hummed more brightly. The blanket of power that had rested over the treetops for decades had lifted overnight.

No one spoke of the events aloud - they were too aware of the enormity of what they’d witnessed - but they all knew the truth.

The Shadowsinger had finally been called home.

___

“Quick!” Alzhar’s eldest son, Samu, called out to the twins. They hobbled over as quickly as their stout legs could carry them.

“Samu,” Niran whined, “I’m tired.”

“Papa said to be back by dark.” Rhaan reminded them all. The only trademark that separated him from his twin brother was the flash of blond through his ruddy brown hair. White-tailed deer they called him.

“I want dinner.”

“Me too.”

Samu looked over the hills where the sun was sliding down the sky like rain on a window.

“But we haven’t found the house yet!” He protested.

“We’ve been searching for days.”

“Yeah, we’ve been searching for days.” Niran parroted.

“Of course we have!” He threw his hands up in the air, “Did you really think the Shadowhouse would be easy to find?” He clicked his tongue in disappointment, shaking his head, “Go back if you’re so scared. I’ll look for it myself.”

Niran and Rhaan looked at each other, identical frowns pulling at their lips. They wanted to prove their worth, but they were still younger than Samu, and their hunger mattered more.

“We’re telling Mama you didn’t listen.”

“I want your dessert.”

“Wait, no. I want it. Can we share?”

“I’m not sharing!”

Samu smiled triumphantly and stomped further into the woods, leaving the twins to their usual bickering.

The little boy sprinted back home hours later, a gleeful kick in his step. The sky was already turned pitch black, but the Mother had sprinkled out the stars like salt to guide him home.

Devra stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips, swollen belly blocking out the roaring firelight like an eclipse.

“Where have you been?” She gasped out, grabbing Samu’s head and holding him close to her stomach. Samu loved when she did this, convinced that his newest sibling would talk to him first.

Niran and Rhaan wanted another brother to tussle with, but Samu was hoping for a sister. She could tussle with them too, he was sure.

He ignored her question, grabbing her hand and hauling her back inside, “Papa! BaBa! I found it! I found the Shadowhouse.”

Niran and Rhaan popped out from their bedroom, clambering after their older brother as he dragged their mother along.

Jadhan and Alzhar looked up with relief. Jadhan’s hair had turned white as snow in his old age and hints of gray were beginning to sprout from Alzhar’s temples.

“Papa!”

“Samu, what have we told you about staying out past-”

“The Shadowsinger left something for you and Baba.”

“What?!” Jadhan sat up straighter, grimacing at the painful twist of his leg. He motioned his grandson closer, helping him climb onto the bed.

The little boy dropped the blue-velvet bag into his outstretched hands, leaning back on his heels with rapt attention. Samu, being the boy that he was, hadn’t opened it on the whole journey over and was now buzzing to learn what secrets it held within.

Jadhan was immediately startled by the weight of the parcel.

“Open it!”

“Wait! I want to see!”

“Help me up!”

Alzhar and Devra relented, picking up the twins and leaning close. Their own curiosity was itching to be satisfied.

Jadhan opened the bag and tipped it over spilling dozens of gold coins onto the quilt. Devra gasped, her hands flying up to her mouth. Alzhar didn’t bother hiding his shock, his mouth agape.

It was more money than they’d ever seen in their lives, Jadhan didn’t concern himself with it - he hadn’t had to worry about money in a long while. Instead, he picked up the slip of paper that had also fallen out, carefully unfolding it with trembling, wrinkled fingers.

For all the drinks “on the house” and for your son, Mikhail, who traveled to the edges of the Continent and made it possible for my mate to find me and bring me home.

Scrawled on the lower edge of the paper were more words, cramped and small like they’d been jotted down as an after-thought.

Also, your whiskey is absolutely disgusting. Never let anyone else drink it.

Everyone stilled, watching Jadhan carefully.

Without warning, the old man tipped his head back and roared with laughter.

Samu leaned back in surprise. His grandfather was a naturally solemn man, and he'd never heard him laugh so loudly and so fiercely.

Alzhar reached for the slip of paper, skimming the words quickly.

"No!" He cried out in disbelief, "Stop! This can't be. Devra, look-"

One by one the adults fell into fits of roaring laughter, collapsing onto Jadhan's bed or onto the floor. Even the boys cheered - confused but happy to be part of whatever story had just finished unfolding.

Jadhan was seventy-one years old when he died, and he died laughing, surrounded by his family at the end of a long road.

Down the street in the tavern, the band was still playing the same old songs, although they were being performed by yet another generation of songbirds. But, there was one new addition to the repertoire.

A song penned by Phaedra and aptly named The Ballad of the Shadowsinger years before her quiet passing.

It was always the last song of the night. Always. And it ended like this:

Come Solstice day

Come wind or rain

Now calls the heather

The Midlands will have no reason to dismay

For the Shadowsinger has been called home again

___________

Another author's note:

I feel like I threw in so many new human characters so I made a family tree. Ha!

Also, please enjoy the small essay I wrote last night after writing this oneshot...

From last night:

Listen, some red flags are just pale orange scraps of fabric when you’re an immortal non-human being who’s been alive for hundreds of years. Don’t come for me. I’m so tired. It’s 3am. I should sleep.

Ok, note from Florence B at 3:16am because I am making CONNECTIONS. Not all of this was intentional, but maybe it was? Maybe I’m just stringing connections after the fact. Maybe I’m a genius. Probably not, but still. I’m so tired, guys. Why am I doing this right now? I should be sleeping but I can’t sleep so I’m going to do this instead.

Buckle down folks for the essay I am about to write:

I have my qualms about the ACOTAR books, as I’m sure most people do. Don’t get me wrong, they’re wonderful reads and it’s the series that got me back into reading after college, but they’re not perfect by any means.

One thing I think that gets brushed under the rug (especially given how ALL the batboys fall for girls who are literally in their late teens/mid-twenties - it’s a major red flag but we forgive because it’s fiction) is how DIFFERENTLY fae experience time. LIke, these fuckers live hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of years. The only way they die is if they get killed, like purposely poisoned or stabbed or whatever have you. I tried to write this/touch upon this when Azriel describes how he’s jealous of Jadhan for his humanity and how no matter what, Azriel is stuck potentially living an ETERNITY with the reality of what he’s done. It’s why for me - personally - all the stuff about the mate bond driving males mad or the choice that Rhysand and Feyre make to bind their lives to one another kind of makes sense. Like, if I was faced with an eternal life sentence in a world that was as brutal and cruel as the ACOTAR universe is, HECK YEAH I MIGHT BIND MY LIFE TO SOMETHING/SOMEONE I CARED ABOUT! I’M NOT DOING THIS SHIT ALONE! You’ve gotta retire from the game at SOME point.

I know I probably made things really confusing by introducing a whole host of human characters spanning several generations (re: the family tree up above), but as I previously mentioned, I thought it was important to do this to contextualize/compare the lifespan of a fae to a normal human. While Jadhan is growing up, getting a job, getting married, having kids, Azriel is still struggling with his banishment to the Midlands and his own sense of self-worth. The line about Jadhan approaching Azriel and offering him money to kill his abusive father who broke his leg was thrown in there later on around the 1am mark. And I didn’t think of it much - I just wanted a reason for Azriel to know Jadhan personally throughout his life from childhood to old age. BUT! Now that I think I’m thinking about it more, it makes sense that Azriel would be able to accept Y/n’s forgiveness so quickly. He sees a lot of himself in young Jadhan and by helping him escape his abusive father(albeit by violent means) and watching him grow up into a strong man and a good father, Azriel’s helping heal his own inner child.

The kids! Oh my goodness I love the kids so much. Once I threw the first kid into the story I thought - fuck it, we’re going to make the parallelism painfully obvious with Azriel seeing himself, Rhys, and Cassian mirrored in Mikhail, Alzhar, and Zhik. Then of course I had to bring things around full circle and give Alzhar three boys and a girl on the way (yes, Devra is pregnant with a girl and Samu is going to shower her with all the love that Rhys gave his own sister).

Finally, I’m going to address any comments about Y/n forgiving Azriel too quickly. 1) I feel like it is a universally acknowledged/unacknowledged truth that no one hates Azriel as much as he hates himself. And no punishment could ever be worse than the self-loathing he feels for himself (NOTE: people, if a partner/romantic love interest/friend/crush/whatever EVER says this kind of stuff to you, drop them like a two-ton boulder. That’s a major red flag, but once again this is a fictional man/fae so we can let it slide). 2) Once again, these fae are literally HUNDREDS OF YEARS OLD. I can only speak for myself when I say this, but I feel like if I had known and loved someone for that long, I would be willing to forgive a lot and trust that time might be able to heal deeper wounds than humans are used to. Time is precious to us humans, we can’t always afford to wait and hope for things to get better on their own, but fae can.

Are those all my thoughts? I think those are all my thoughts. It’s 3:47am now. Oh jeez. To future me: I’m so sorry if you have to read this and it’s bad and you have a coffee-fueled headache all day because I fucked things up for us.

#azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel x mate reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel angst #azriel x reader angst #ANNNNGGGSSSTTTT #angst #angst with a happy ending

672 notes · View notes

ghouljams · 5 months

Note

Viking!Soap has consumed my entire being! Just imagining how unhinged he'd get if highland!reader got hurt or taken!!

Or or or! Him seeing her holding/caring for babies! They way he'd get sooo feral... 🥴

(Your writing > Me 🤰)

While the vikings aren't back home quite yet in the Soap story line, I did have an idea in my head and this is honestly the best ask to write it out in. Here's some of highland!reader being a healer and Soap being just... so dead over it

uuuuuh tw for descriptions of birth. I'm giving Gaz a baby.

Now this is a good use of your skills. You forget sometimes, that the vikings come from somewhere, that there must be people waiting on them, that they must have a home. This? You could never deny that Gaz is human after this. Not with the way he holds his wife's hand and frets over her as she grits her teeth and pushes. You know this, you've been midwife to enough of the people in your village to feel her dilation with your fingers, to cup the baby's head and ease its shoulders. You try to look reassuring as the mother sobs above you. That's what Gaz is for you suppose, he murmurs quiet affections to her, trying to keep her calm through the worst of it.

When the baby finally slips free and falls into your hands you can feel the relief that sobs through its mother. You're quick to dip your scissors in the boiled water nearby and snip the cord, tying it off with deft precision. You frown at the quiet infant, rub your fingers against its chest as Gaz comforts his wife. It scrunches its little face, opens its mouth on a silent cry and you turn it over to hit its little back hard. Then again, until it coughs and its cry finally pierces the air.

You sigh, and pass the baby off to be cleaned up by one of the mother's friends. "It's a boy," You tell the happy couple, taking their weary smiles as payment for a job well done. The only job you've ever done well.

The fire has burned low and the rest of the village has gone home to wait, but the 141 is vigilant. The crazy shepherd pops her head out of Gaz's house with good news after hours waiting. Soap lets out a breath and leans back to look at the rising sun. A new day for a new life.

He doesn't expect to see you holding the new wee one when they're actually allowed in. Sat next to the bed, fingers checking over the infant as your wrap and re-wrap its swaddle. His swaddle. Gaz said the baby was a boy.

You look tired, but you smile fondly down at the sleeping baby none the less. Again he finds himself staring at the rising sun, the warmth of you permeating every shallow corner of the room. The baby shift in its blankets and you shush it before it can start crying. Your fingers are so gentle as the skate over its little cheeks and nose. Every angle of you seems to gentle the infant, each soft touch to calm it. Soap's never seen anyone like you, never thought someone like you would step down from the realm of the gods to grace the earth.

Something warm melts over Soap's heart, the tender moment broken when you hand the baby back to his mother. Gaz and his wife laugh as Ghost and Price crowd close to give the congratulations, but Soap can't take his eyes off of you. He wants to see it again, wants to see you cradling an infant, looking content and proud.

Soap goes to stand next to you, brushes his fingers against your shoulder to try and catch some of the warmth breaking off of you. You stiffen and glare up at him. He takes his hand away, feels his fingers tighten, his smile hollow when he pastes it on. How differently would you look at him if it was his baby you cradled close to your chest? Would your gaze still cut into him like the bitter winds that carry snow down from the mountains? Would you soften for him, let him see the warmth in your eyes that now seems so far away? Would you look at him like you look at the baby?

As something human?

"Thank you," Gaz's wife give you a genuine smile, her eyes tired but shining with joy, "I know this isn't what you-"

"No," You stop her, the nordic tongue sounds so foreign to Soap's ears when it comes from your mouth, "I'm happy to help." Your accent is bad, it makes Soap smile a little fuller as he tries not to laugh. You seem to warm again watching the happy family. It's just him then.

Soap can see it when you give Gaz a weary smile, he's human in your eyes. He wonders what it would take to be granted the same honor. If you'd ever give him that, just that, he could live a lifetime on it.

665 notes · View notes

psychostxr · 6 months

Text

𝐣𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐢 | worth

PAIRING. jordan li x female! reader

WORD COUNT. 1.1k

WARNINGS. angst, cursing, homphobia, insecurities, racism (some are very brief)

NOTES. inspired by @maraschino-ch3rry post about jordan not being marketable

KEYS. (y/n) - your name e.g. paige, sam, etc. (l/n) - last name e.g. cole, thomas, etc.

Fairy lights and flowers decorate the foyer of Godolkin's Student Union as the night of Brink's Memorial Gala unfolds. Your satin dress flows elegantly, hugging and highlighting your figure with a refined slit. Champagne glasses twinkle as they float by on silver trays, a luxury you can't resist. Grabbing a glass of champagne, you take a small sip.

Your eyes wander, tracing the guests who have gathered for the occasion. The guests, staff members, trustees, benefactors, and a few students invited or could afford to buy tickets are here to 'support' Godolkin University. As for you, you're here to support your partner, Jordan, and find trustees willing to vote for them.

When you finally spot Jordan entering the foyer, your heart pounds against your ribcage at the sight of them. Jordan looks hot in their black suit, and the half-pearl half-chain necklace adds to their charm. However, Jordan's expression doesn't match the mood of the event. They're frowning.

You wonder why until you see their parents trailing right after them. Downing the rest of the champagne, you place the glass on a nearby waiter's tray and scurry over to Jordan, careful not to trip over your heels or dress.

"Jordan!" You grin, pulling them into a hug. Their arms wrap around your waist as your lips kiss their cheek before grazing their ear to whisper, "Stop frowning. You're too attractive in that suit to be sad."

Jordan chuckles, a smile cracking across their face. "Thank you," they murmur, kissing your cheek in return.

Jordan takes a step back, revealing his parents behind them. You plaster on a fake smile towards Jordan's parents.

"(y/n), meet my parents, Paul, and Kayla Li. Dad, mom, this is (y/n)." Jordan pauses, gulping. "My girlfriend."

"Hi, it's so nice to meet you, Mr and Mrs Li," you say, offering your hand to shake.

Jordan's parents glance at each other, almost like they're communicating telepathically. Then, both of their lips quirked upwards. Paul chuckles, reaching out and eagerly shaking your hand.

"You have a girlfriend?" he questions, "Why didn't you tell us?"

Before Jordan can come up with an answer, you interrupt, "I'm sorry, that was my idea." You pull your hand away and rest it on your décolletage. "I didn't want Jordan to tell anyone. I'm a very private person."

"That's okay, dear," Kayla reassures. "We're just happy that Jordan's found someone is all."

"Well, it was nice meeting you both," you say, catching Jordan's parents' attention, "But Jordan and I have duties to attend to tonight." Like schmoozing trustees and securing votes for Jordan. "I hope to see you again soon."

Hooking an arm around Jordan's, you guide them away from their parents and towards the influential guests at tonight's gala.

"Private person, my ass," Jordan remarks once you both are far away from their parents. "One search of you on Instagram and pictures of me flood the app."

"You love it," you quip, unhooking your arm to hold Jordan's hand. "People know we're together, so they can't try shit when you're not around. Unless they want to get their ass kicked."

"You can't blame me. I don't like to share."

Rolling your eyes, you stop in your tracks, causing Jordan to halt.

"Earlier, before you arrived, I was scouring the guests, and I think a few people here would vote for you with enough persuasion. We just need to show them the marketable side of you." You gesture to a man nearby drinking champagne. "That's Daniel Travis, one of the trustees for Godolkin. We can start with him and work our way with the others."

Pulling Jordan, you walk towards Daniel Travis and put a smile on your face. "Mr Travis, I'm (y/n) (l/n), and this is my partner, Jordan Li. Could you spare a few minutes to talk with us?"

He lowers his glass. "Of course. What would you two like to talk about?"

"Well, as we know, trustees decide the rankings. And during the incident with Golden Boy, Jordan went down in rankings. We wondering if you'd like to vote for Jordan," you explain.

"I don't like to ring my own bell, but I am putting up the best stats of anyone here in forensics and combat," Jordan adds, "And to be honest, I'd love your vote."

"I've looked at your Q Rating, Name Recognition, and Social Trending, Jordan. They're down, and it's no secret," Daniel states bluntly, "Frankly, being bi-gender and Asian won't appeal to certain audiences in America, so, in terms of marketability, you're not in the best position."

Jordan's face falls at Daniel's harsh assessment. It's a tough pill to swallow. Daniel shifts his attention to you.

"But you (y/n)?" he says, "Your ratings are through the roof, and your control over your powers is remarkable! You're a marketable asset. But, you see, you could achieve even more if you broke up with Jordan."

The suggestion hangs in the air, a poisonous idea souring the elegance of the gala. Jordan feels a surge of anger and frustration at Daniel's audacity while you're shocked by his proposal.

You squeeze Jordan's hand, hoping to give them peace of mind while you resist the urge to use your powers and toss Daniel into a wall. Your eyes flash with a mix of anger and disgust.

"You must be out of your mind to think I'd ever let someone like you dictate my relationship," you retort sharply, "Now if you have nothing important to say, we're leaving."

With that, you lead Jordan away from the conversation, finding a quiet corner of the gala to catch your and Jordan's breath and collect your thoughts.

You knew that success could come at a cost, but compromising your relationship with Jordan wasn't a price you were willing to pay. Wrapping your arms around Jordan, you pull them into your embrace and kiss their temple.

"Jordan, I'm so fucking sorry," you apologize softly, "I should've dug for more information on Godolkin's trustees before making any moves. I didn't expect that from Daniel."

Jordan sighs, resting their head on your shoulder. "It's not your fault, (y/n). But Daniel's got a point. My numbers are down. Nobody wants to see a bi-gender Asian Supe. Your numbers would be higher if we weren't together."

You shake your head, holding them tighter. "Jordan, don't listen to him. I love you with every fiber of my being. No marketing scheme or student ranking is worth more than my love for you. I don't care about the numbers. I care about you." You tilt their chin up, looking deeply into their eyes. "You are more than any label or statistic. I love you for who you are. Don't let anyone make you question your worth or our love. Because if anyone thinks otherwise, they can fuck off."

#gen v #gen v x reader #gen v x you #gen v imagine #gen v fic #the boys #the boys x reader #the boys x you #the boys imagine #jordan li #jordan li x reader #jordan li x you #jordan li imagine #jordan li fic #psychostxr

608 notes · View notes

amomentsescape · 7 months

Note

Can I request a slasher oneshot headcannon with freddy, both leather faces, brahms and Jason were either them or the reader gets drunk (drunk reader for the ones who don't seem like the type to drink) and the sober one tries to hug the drunk one and the drunk one is like "stay away from me b###h I'm in a commented relshinship and they're beautiful" and the sober one knows they're talking about them so they lovingly tuck the drunk one in

Slashers Drunk and In Love Headcanon

A/N: Thank you so much for this request! I absolutely love this prompt as well. Something about it is just so heartwarming to write/read! These did get to be a bit long, but I hope you like it either way!

Freddy Krueger

Thank God for Halloween

It was the one night you two could go out together and seem normal to everyone else

There was a horror themed bar in the nearby city that Freddy (of course) chose to go to

So dressed up in your costume with Freddy in his... normal attire, you two went

It was honestly a fun time

Good food, cheap drinks, and loud music

The perfect environment for you two

Although, Freddy seemed to be going a little harder than expected

His excuse being that he "only gets to do this once a year"

So you shrugged it off

As long as he was having a good time, then so were you

He was even able to talk to other people around him, and some of them convinced him to hit the dance floor

He was so drunk at this point that you were worried he wouldn't even make it out of his seat

But he just laughed and ran off with them

You let out a big sigh

After a few minutes of people cheering him on as he writhed around on the sticky floor, you decided that he could use a break from the alcohol

You ordered a water and made your way to him

"Freddy, take this-"

He grabbed it from your hand and began chugging it

His circle of new friends yelling and cheering as he did so

This is how you knew he was truly gone for the night,

But you couldn't help the small smile growing on your face

He seemed happy, and being a dream demon had its benefits

Like no hangovers the next morning

You wiggled your way into the crowd further and wrapped your arm around his waist

But he quickly threw your arm off and looked at you sternly

It was the most sober he seemed in the past 30 minutes

"Don't fucking touch me!" he spat. "I have a hot partner waiting for me at the b-bar," he hiccuped

You couldn't help but laugh at this

You wanted to be mad at his abrasive behavior, but you honestly felt butterflies at his devotion

"Well, your partner is waiting for you in the dream world. They're tired and want to go to bed."

Freddy's head snapped back to you

"Y-you've spoken to (Y/N)?"

You nodded

"Well, shit," he slurred. "Guess it's time."

And suddenly you both were back in his world, his body already tucked into bed

You heard his snores seconds later

"Well, that was easy..."

You gently gave him a kiss on the cheek and tucked yourself in moments later

Thomas Hewitt

For murderous cannibals, the Hewitts knew how to have a good time

They literally made their own alcohol from scratch

And of course, it was stronger than anything you could find in store

You decided to try some at the urgency of the family

Thomas wasn't really much of a drinker usually, but he found himself a little more comfortable since you were with him

You both took a sip of the alcohol together, and you found yourself struggling to keep it down

It burnt like fire

Thomas, however, barely reacted from it

He was a Hewitt after all

"Do you like it?" you asked

He kinda just shrugged and before he knew it, his glass was filled again

He looked at you for a bit, almost like he was asking for permission

You gave him a small smile "This is your family gathering, Thomas. Do whatever you want!"

You could see his eyes crease up a bit as he took a few more slurps

With his lack of tolerance however, it didn't take long for the alcohol to take effect

His body was slightly swaying back and forth, and he couldn't seem to keep his eyes focused on anything

Luda Mae noticed how he was acting and she looked to you

"Why don't ya take him to bed, hun? He could use some rest."

You nodded and helped him out of his seat, making your way to his room

Once he flopped into bed, you leaned down to give him a hug and a kiss like you always did

But you suddenly felt his strong hands against your shoulders

He shook his head back and forth frantically, keeping you away from him

"What's wrong?" you asked

He just pointed to the empty spot next to him in bed, looking back to you and shaking his head some more

It took you a moment to realize what he meant

"Are you waiting for... (Y/N)?" you questioned softly

He nodded

"Ohhhh," you responded, smiling widely. "Well, they're gonna come to bed a little later."

He looked down a bit sadly

"Don't worry, they'll be here once you wake up."

He finally nodded and rolled over, falling asleep quickly

Once you knew he was out, you crawled into bed beside him, still smiling from his loyalty to you

Bubba Sawyer

Bubba has seen his family drink plenty of times

But he honestly didn't like how mean and violent it made some of them

Because of this, he didn't have any interest in drinking the odd smelling juice

So after a long evening outside doing "work," he was worried to see you laughing and hiccuping over a deck of cards and the smelly drink

He quietly sat next to you, not sure how you'd react with that stuff in your system

However, you didn't really pay much mind to him as you continued your card game, barely able to grab them without dropping them back onto the table

You mostly seemed fine to Bubba, but he was still worried

He knew that his family always woke up irritable in the morning, and he was worried that would happen to you

After another half hour at the table, he noticed that your eyes seemed heavy and your head kept drooping towards the table

He finally decided that you should probably head to bed

He stood up and went to grab your hand to help you up, only to be met with a small push

"D-don't. I have a boyfriend who I love very much, so I'm not interested."

He cocked his head to the side at this

The rest of his family broke out into a fit of laughter

He hesitantly tried to reach for you again, only to be met with an annoyed look

"Seriously. Bub-Bubba will be here any minute so stop."

He finally understood that you didn't recognize him right now

The funny juice didn't seem to make you angry, just forgetful

Bubba wasn't sure what to do right then

So he ended up sitting back down, a swarm of butterflies in his chest

But after only a few minutes, you were drooling onto the table fast asleep

With you finally resting, Bubba picked you up and took you to the bedroom, tucking you in gently

He couldn't help but go to sleep beside you smiling giddily at your behavior

Brahms Heelshire

After a long process of manipulation, you finally convinced Brahms to help you with chores

The house was quite a mess, and it was certainly too big to clean all by yourself

While in the kitchen, you found a couple bottles of some old wine shoved in the back of a cabinet

"Hey, Brahms!"

After a few moments, you saw his curly mop of hair peak into the kitchen

"Was this your parents?" you asked

He walked closer to you and inspected the bottles, eventually confirming your speculation

"Hmm. Have you had this before?"

He shook his head

"This stuff seems expensive. Would be waste to just throw this out..."

So that's how you two found yourselves sitting in the middle of the living room, passing this wine bottle back and forth

Brahms wasn't sure how to feel about it at first, his only memories of it being the smell from his mother's breath

But now that he was older and he had you, he gave in

And it honestly wasn't too bad

It was similar to what he had in church growing up

So you both continued to take drinks together, only Brahms seemed to be acting especially woozy

He didn't drink regularly, so this was hitting him harder than you had expected

He excused himself to the bathroom and wobbled down the hall, you trying to conceal your giggles

After 20 minutes however, you grew a bit worried and decided to check in on him

You knocked on the door before carefully opening it

"Brahms...?"

When you peaked in, you saw the lanky man sat in front of the toilet, his head resting on his hand

The toilet water was now a murky red color

"Oh, Brahms."

You sat beside him and began rubbing his back

He suddenly jolted up and backed away from you, his body meeting the wall

You looked at him concerned

"Brahms?"

He shook his head

"How did you get here? Where's (Y/N)?" he asked hoarsely

You tilted your head

"It's me. I'm (Y/N)."

"No, (Y/N) is my beautiful partner. Now leave!"

You could tell his patience was wearing thin and you didn't want to be there for his outburst

"O-oh okay, right. Do you want me to get (Y/N) for you?" you asked

He nodded his head and crawled back to the toilet

You left and stood outside the door for a few minutes, not sure if your plan was going to work or not

You walked back inside carefully and found Brahms in the same position you left him

"Brahms? It's me..."

He looked up and wobbled towards you, his body flailing out at your feet

"(Y/N)? My stomach hurts," he groaned

You held in a laugh as you helped him back to his feet

"Let's go to bed. It'll make you feel better."

He simply nodded and shuffled to the bedroom with you, his dopey smile making your heart warm

Jason Voorhees

Jason was always told as a child that alcohol was the Devil's blood and should be avoided at all cost

This made sense to him since all the counselors and stupid teens seemed to be indulging in the beverage whenever he got to them

So he almost found himself in a frenzy when he saw you holding a familiar can in your hand one night

He grabbed the drink from you and threw it outside, its contents spilling into the dirt

"Jason!" you yelled

He just crossed his arms

"It's just a drink, Jason. It's not gonna kill me!'

He tilted his head at you, confused

You stood up and walked to the cooler, opening it up and grabbing a new can

Where did all those come from?

"People drink this stuff all the time," you argued, popping open the tab. "They even have this stuff in church."

Jason uncrossed his arms at this

He thought this stuff was bad

You went back to what you were doing, drinking the beverage and still feeling a bit peeved at the loss of your first drink

Jason almost sat down next to you, but he began to hear rustling outside the cabin, causing him to leave quickly

It took him quite a while to catch everyone since he had a couple runners

But he finally was able to return home

When he walked in, he saw you passed out on the couch, several cans scattered around you

He became worried and rushed to you, shaking you awake

You drearily looked up at him and quickly backed further into the couch

"Leave me alone. My boyfriend will be back any minute!" you slurred

He tilted his head

You began calling his name, making him even more confused

He was right in front of you??

"I hope he comes back soon," you muttered, turning around

Jason stood there for a bit, feeling confused but also a bit warm

The fact that you called out for him in your drunken state made him feel cared for

He lovingly reached down and grabbed a blanket from the arm rest, spreading it out over your form

863 notes · View notes

russellsppttemplates · 14 days

Note

https://br.pinterest.com/pin/426082814766919130/

Hello, since Carlos and Carlos Sr. recreated that photo when Jr. removed his appendix, could you do a Carlos blurb where he and the reader leave Clara for a while with Carlos' parents because they are busy with the reader's appointment to see how the twins are doing during her pregnancy, where Carlos Sr. recreates with her one of his photos from where Jr. was little with the newspaper talking about his victory in rally and then Reyes sends them this photo

Cw: reader's pregnant

"Papa and Mama are going to see how the twins are doing, okay? So you'll stay with abuelo and abuela, okay?", Carlos checked with Clara as you spoke to Reyes.

"And then you'll come pick me up?", your daughter asked, "or will I spend the night here?".

"Abuela said she would make dinner for us tonight, so after the appointments, me and mama will come back here and then we'll all go home together", Carlos clarified.

"Okay", the little girl smiled, "say hi to the babies for me!", she hugged Carlos one last time before she ran up to you, "I love you, mama", she hugged your legs.

While you waited for the doctor to call you, the twins started kicking, "put your hand here", you smiled, guiding your husband's hand to the spot where one of the boys was kicking.

"Is it more painful now that there's two of them?", Carlos quesioned.

"Right now it's okay, I imagine it will be harder when they're closer to term", you shrugged your shoulders, "you and your guys managed to put two babies in me, and now you're worried?", you joked.

"I'm always thinking about you and making sure you're all fine, amor", Carlos admitted, "I never quite understood what my father meant until I became a father - I always want the best for you and I hate the thought of you being in pain or uncomfortable", he sighed, "I can assume being pregnant is not the most comfortable thing, so I want to help as much as possible - even if I was the one getting two babies", he smiled.

"It's not the most comfortable, there are some bad days, but I like being pregnant", you assured, "not in a kink type of way before you go down that route, but because I know I'm the babies first home and that they're comfy in there", you rubbed your bump before you got a notification from your mother in-law.

The photo showed, on one side, a young Carlos and his father reading a newspaper about his win, and on the other, a modern recreation of it with Clara holding a tablet with a digital version of the newspaper article reporting about his latest victory.

The shop was out of the physical copies of the newspaper so we had to get creative!

Showing Carlos, the smile on your husband's face was the biggest, "I'm so happy we get to raise the kids with our families nearby", he kissed your temple.

(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)

#carlos sainz blurb #inês writes blurbs #f1 blurb #f1 x reader

365 notes · View notes

harunayuuka2060 · 10 months

Text

Luke: Simeon... Are you really leaving?

Simeon: It's for the best, Luke.

Luke: ...

Luke: But are you sure they are going to accept an angel like you in Devildom?

Luke: Wouldn't it be possible to just—

Simeon: Luke. *signals him to stop*

Kid MC: *still peacefully sleeping in the bed*

Simeon: Luke, I hope you understand.

Simeon: I'll always be fine as long as I'm together with my child.

Luke: ...

Luke: *smiles* Then I'll try to visit you in Devildom from time to time.

Simeon: *smiles* Thank you.

Raphael: Are we just going to let Simeon leave like that?

Michael: That's his decision.

Raphael: What about the conversation you had with father? Did you find something?

Michael: No. We were still trying to figure out what caused the child to be born.

Raphael: ...

Raphael: Don't you have any possible guesses?

Michael: Unfortunately, there isn't a single one.

Michael: It would've been easier if they were like Satan who was born from Lucifer's wrath. *sigh*

Raphael: ...

Kid MC: Where are we going, Papa?

Simeon: To where your Uncle Lucifer lives.

Kid MC: *their eyes filled with excitement* Really?!

Simeon: *chuckles* Yes.

Kid MC: How are we going to go there, Papa?

Simeon: Papa will use his wings and fly us down.

Kid MC: *realizes that it would their first to see Simeon use his angel wings*

Kid MC: I want to see Papa fly like a bird!

Simeon: *chuckles* *ends up kissing their cheek*

Kid MC: *giggles*

Simeon: Let's go? Your uncles are waiting for us..

Lucifer: I'm glad you've arrived safely, Simeon.

Simeon: That is thanks to Diavolo. I've noticed that they had prepared for our arrival.

Diavolo: Well, we don't want the denizens to treat you as intruders.

Lucifer: By the way, is this your child, Simeon?

Simeon: Yes. MC? Say hello to your Uncle Lucifer.

Kid MC: Uncle! *opens their arms wide, wanting to be carried by him*

Lucifer: Why, hello. *chuckles* *getting them from Simeon*

Lucifer: You're such a lovely child. How old are you now?

Kid MC: *puts their fingers up* Four!

Simeon: *chuckles*

Barbatos: Please excuse me. I would like to inform you that the two rooms are ready for both Simeon and his child.

Simeon: I'm sorry for the inconvenience. But my child and I are sharing a room.

Barbatos: That's understandable.

Kid MC: Do you live here, Uncle?

Lucifer: Temporarily, yes.

Kid MC: What's tempolalily?

Lucifer: It means "not permanent". We will be moving to another house once it's finished.

Kid MC: Oh!

Lucifer: And that means you and your Papa will be living with us as well.

Kid MC: Yay!

Simeon: *smiles*

Diavolo: Simeon, there is something I would like to discuss with you. If you don't mind.

Simeon: *nods*

Kid MC: Hm? Papa? Where are you going?

Simeon: Somewhere nearby. Don't worry. Papa will be right back. So play with Uncle Luci, okay?

Kid MC: Hm!

Lucifer: Let's go and meet your other uncles.

Kid MC: I have more uncles?!

Lucifer: *starts walking away* Yes. You have six more uncles. *chuckles*

Diavolo: Your child is quite energetic.

Barbatos: They're no doubt a child of an angel.

Simeon: Indeed.

Simeon: ...

Simeon: So what is it you want to discuss?

Diavolo: I'm sure you're aware that letting you stay here in Devildom is not entirely out of altruism.

Simeon: ...

Simeon: Yes.

Barbatos: What are you willing to give us in return?

Simeon: ...

Simeon: I won't give you an answer yet. I will tell you when I'm certain that my child will grow up happy in this place.

Diavolo: *chuckles* Alright. We can put this on hold.

Barbatos: Certainly.

Kid MC: Papa! *welcomes him in their new room*

Simeon: *hugs them* Do you like this room?

Kid MC: *nods* The bed is bigger than Papa's bed before!

Simeon: *chuckles* But you're still sleeping close with Papa, won't you?

Kid MC: Hm! But with bigger bed, Papa can stretch his wings wide!

Simeon: ...

Simeon: *rubs his cheek on them* My child is really the best!

Kid MC: And Papa is really the best!

Simeon: *kisses their forehead* *and hugs them tighter*

#obey me #obey me kid mc #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me raphael #obey me michael #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #the child of sorrow

789 notes · View notes

silverynight · 2 months

Text

The nurse and the pro hero

Izuku gets a little bit startled by the chaos outside; by what he can see from behind reception, there are four pro heroes struggling at the other side of the entrance.

He's ready to go out and help, but the head nurse puts a gentle hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"They're not in trouble, we are," she groans. "That's Dynamight right there."

"Oh!" Izuku gets really excited at the mention of the hero name; he's a hero fan boy at heart, even though he decided to go to a medical school. He's a nurse now and very proud of it. "And I think I spot Pinky, Chargebolt and Red Riot as well!"

It must be his lucky day because he works at a hospital for civilians so they don't see pro heroes often unless they're fighting a villain nearby. There's a hospital that specializes in treating pro heroes.

"They are his friends," the head nurse explains. "They always come with him wherever he's being a stubborn idiot," she turns around and curses when she doesn't see any of Izuku's coworkers nearby.

"What is it?"

"Everyone ran away," she sighs, sounding tired already. "Nobody likes that one; he doesn't stay still and always claims to be fine even if he has a broken bone."

"Dynamight?"

"Yeah, that little demon."

"Oh," Izuku mumbles as the four pro heroes finally manage to walk in. Two of them are practically dragging the explosive hero inside.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, but I'm afraid you'll have to assist the doctor this time, because nobody else is going to."

"That's okay!" He assures her.

"LET ME GO, SHITTY HAIR! I TOLD YOU I'M FINE!"

"You're bleeding!" Pinky rolls her eyes, not even worried about the amount of curses that come from that gremlin's mouth. "Sorry to bother you this beautiful night, but the angry pomeranian got himself hurt again."

"I'm Midoriya Izuku, I'll take you to an examination room, just follow me."

However, that's when Dynamight stops struggling completely and stares at Izuku without blinking for a while; Izuku starts getting worried even though the wound on his arm doesn't look serious. It might need a couple of stitches but that's all.

Even Charbebolt and Red Riot look at their friend in shock when they don't feel any type of resistance anymore.

"Are you alright, Dynamight-san?" Izuku asks, waving a hand in front of him. "Did you hit your head at some point?"

"Maybe he's lost too much blood already!" Chargebolt worries.

"I'M FINE!" Dynamight finally blinks and then growls at his friends before shaking them off.

Pinky is the only one who looks relaxed, she seems amused by the situation even.

"Lead the way then," the explosive pro hero tells Izuku and it's the first time the green haired nurse doesn't see him yelling at someone.

When they're inside and Izuku asks the pro hero to sit on the examination table, he starts thinking that maybe all the rumors about his bad behavior are slightly exaggerated. Because the pro hero does exactly as Izuku asks him too.

His friends are looking at him with their jaws dropped.

The doctor walks in while Izuku is cleaning the wound and even she looks a little bit surprised at the sight.

"It seems to be only your arm," she observes, leaning closer to Dynamight.

"I'm done!" Izuku beams, finally stepping away from him, looking happy with the way he patched the pro hero up.

Even though the doctor is still speaking, he can feel the pro hero's eyes on him.

"Thank you, uhh... Midoriya."

The other pro heroes and even the doctor herself look like they're in shock; Red Riot even chokes at Dynamight's words.

"You're welcome!"

"I'm Bakugo Katsuki, but you can call me Katsuki."

Izuku blushes to the tip of his ears, but he shakes his head.

"I'm afraid I can't, we barely know each other. Besides, I'm just your nurse."

It seems like Bakugo is about to argue, but instead he nods, looking like a kicked puppy. Izuku regrets his decision almost immediately.

"I thought he was really nice," he comments out loud to the head nurse when the pro heroes are gone.

"It seems Midoriya tamed the angry pomeranian," the doctor says. "I think he has a crush on our sweet boy."

Izuku's face turns strawberry red, he's sure of it.

"That's not true!" He says at the same time the head nurse says: "It makes sense, that's why he finally shut up as soon as he saw him."

Izuku shakes his head, refusing to believe something as ridiculous as that.

***

Bakugo keeps coming back every time he's hurt; Izuku thinks that maybe he's in charge of that area of the city, but another nurse assures him that's not the case, as he shows him a video on YouTube of him fighting at the other side of the city. The video was live just a couple of hours ago.

But that's ridiculous, why would he go to that hospital then?

"He always asks for you," the head nurse points out, to which Izuku shakes his head again.

Sometimes his friends come with him, although they never try to grab him again because the pro hero walks inside voluntarily each time.

"Your eyes are pretty," Bakugo blurts out once, prompting Izuku to almost drop the tray of medical equipment he was carrying.

"Thank you, Bakugo-san." He mumbles, trying not to sound as flustered as he feels.

"Call me Katsuki."

Izuku tries to focus on his task and inspects the wound on Bakugo's shoulder. Fortunately, it doesn't seem to be broken, and the doctor confirms it a couple of minutes later.

"Your pro hero is here again," now the entire staff calls Bakugo Izuku's pro hero, much to the green haired nurse embarrassment.

They even say that in front of Bakugo once and the pro hero doesn't even blink.

Bakugo doesn't help his case that much either; he starts bringing Izuku coffee, hot chocolate and All Might merch signed by the former pro hero himself once he found out Izuku was an All Might fan.

One of Izuku's coworkers shows him that the people are spreading rumors about Dynamight being in love with someone from that hospital on Twitter because a couple of people have seen him there.

Izuku thinks he saw one of their patients trying to take a picture of the pro hero once, so it makes sense.

"But that doesn't mean it's me."

"Who else, boy?" The head nurse rolls her eyes at him. "Honestly, for someone so brilliant, you can be quite dense sometimes."

Izuku doesn't believe it, but he does give in and starts calling Bakugo 'Kacchan' mostly because he couldn't bring himself to call him Katsuki; it sounds too intimate for him.

But then Katsuki starts using his given name and Izuku can't help but blush every single time he does that.

Katsuki seems to be very pleased by the situation.

***

"Your pro hero is waiting for you in the examination room," the head nurse smirks and Izuku notices that his other coworkers are looking with interest in his direction.

"It's a pleasure to see you again, sweetie," Pinky says, smiling at him as she stops Chargebolt from stepping closer to him. "We said we would wait outside, remember, Kaminari?"

Chargebolt pouts, turns around and right into Red Riot's embrace. The other pro hero gives him a couple of headpats to calm him down.

"I'm sure Bakubro will tell us everything."

Very confused, Izuku decides to step inside the room. However, for the first time Katsuki is in his civilian clothes and he seems to be completely fine.

"What–" That's when he notices the bouquet of cherry blossoms. "Oh."

"Izuku, I'd love for you to take care of me and patch me up for the rest of our lives."

That sounds dangerously close to a–

"What the heck, Blasty?" Pinky's voice is very clear at the other side of the door. "You said you were going to take it slow!"

"AND YOU PROMISED NOT TO EAVESDROP!" Katsuki yells back before staring at Izuku again, this time blushing to the tip of his ears, completely flustered. "I didn't mean to say that out loud, sorry... although I mean it."

"Kacchan!" Izuku blurts out, heart beating inside his chest like crazy.

"Would you like to go on a date with me, Izuku?"

Despite being absolutely nervous, he doesn't hesitate when he whispers, shyly: "I'd love to."

The cheering outside tells him that Pinky wasn't the only one eavesdropping, but Izuku doesn't care because Katsuki is taking him in his arms and kissing him on the lips.

They pull away, panting and blushing only after a couple of knocks at the door.

"Listen, Midoriya, I'm really happy for you, but you better not be making out with your pro hero in there!" The head nurse yells at the other side, prompting Izuku to giggle and Katsuki to smirk.

"I'll see you at the end of my shift, Kacchan."

"I can't wait."

***

Patreon

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #bkdk #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #izuku midoriya

184 notes · View notes

bixbythemartian · 2 months

Text

walrus vs. fairy

the funny part is that people who answer walrus are mostly like 'I disagree, but I understand why you would answer fairy' and the people who answered fairy are tearing their hair out. some of them are getting mad and/or mean about it, which is kind of upsetting.

so, I will try to help explain.

this will not be about walrus logistics, I promise.

some people believe in fairies. full stop.

fully believe they are real. probably a lot more people than you would be happy about, but you have to allow for this to be true.

even among those who don't wholeheartedly believe in fairies, there's a lot more people who are agnostic about fairies.

people willing to admit that they're not sure if fairies are real, but willing to hedge on the side of maybe the fairies are real.

like, if you rephrased the question 'would you be more surprised to see an angel or a walrus at your door' you would probably be less surprised to see that people would be more shocked at the walrus, because you probably already understand that a lot of people believe in angels and consider them real, whether or not you believe in angels personally

also the SPN fandom would go ham on that, probably. (this is said with deep affection)

there was a fairly famous road built in Ireland that got rerouted because there was a bush that was important to fairies. (source) the fairy tree stalled the plans for the road for a fucking decade. this happened in my lifetime. people talked about it happening on the internet as it was happening, it's not some weird thing that happened in the middle of nowhere in the 1950s or something. they agreed to go around the damned bush in 1999. I know that seems a long time ago to some of y'all, but it really, really isn't.

there are still people who think the cottingley fairies were real. not a huge amount, but I hope enough to make my point- there's some people who believe in fairies so much and want them to be real so much that they think a famous prank (hoax is stretching it, imo, these girls were pranking their families and the press kind of coincidentally got involved) proves the existence of fairies.

there's a lot, lot, lot more people who believe in fairies and also will admit the cottingley fairies weren't real. the cottingley fairy truthers are a small a percentage of the people who believe in fairies.

I cannot emphasize enough that there are plenty of people who believe fairies are real and even more that could be very easily convinced that fairies are real

people have believed in fairies and been superstitious about fairies for a long, long fucking time

setting aside all of that

some people are more likely to see a thing that isn't real at their door than they are to see a living fucking walrus at their door.

fevers, migraines, mental stress, sleep deprivation (especially if you have sleep disorders, like insomnia or narcolepsy), and infection (among a very long list of other things), and prescription medication side effects can all cause visual hallucinations, and they're all states that you might not be aware that you're in when you start to see weird shit.

these are just the really mundane ones I plucked up off the list.

I have experienced hallucinations due to sleep dep and insomnia. unfortunately, for me, this manifested as a spider the size of a border collie (I wish I were joking) and not fairies, but fairies is a possibility that cannot be counted out.

I'm way more likely to have sleep deprivation and a migraine and a fever all at once than I am to see a walrus in person at a zoo, much less at my door.

it has happened before. it will happen again. it's happening right fucking now.

the fairies can have my birth name if they will take away my migraine.

just putting that out there.

I've never seen a walrus in person at all. I would like to, but it's not likely. there's not any in any of the zoos nearby that I could find.

current likelihood of me seeing a fairy on my doorstep is significantly higher than me seeing a fucking walrus. I am in a physical state where I have had visual hallucinations before, and it's not impossible I will have them again. I would not be particularly surprised, even.

as long as it's not the goddamn massive spider. I even like most spiders, but that is too much spider.

#walrus vs fairy

245 notes · View notes

sugarpea12345 · 6 months

Text

Remember My Name (Short story inspired by Saintobio)

Hello! This is a little thing I wrote inspired by @saintobio's work. This is directly inspired by they're sincerely yours and sincerely not .

To read and understand this, you must be caught up with sincerely not 's latest chapter (Chapter 8). I would consider this an AU, as I don't know what will happen in the next story. @saintobio 's is heart wrenching, so I had to write my own mini happy ending. Once they update, this whole thing probably won't make much sense lol.

I have received permission from @saintobio to post this

Again, this is directly inspired by @saintobio's work: Sincerely Yours and Sincerely Not.

Word count: 11.8 k

trigger warning: mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm, mentions of cheating, curse words used, angst

_____________________________________________________________

It had been a year since the coparenting arrangement.

Via emails and business calls, you would arrange weekly pick up times. It was strictly professional. The way you wanted it. Right?

Wrong

You knew that you were being selfish. Maybe you always were. Everyone was right. Sera, Eula, Getou, Satoru’s mom, and Satoru. You were a black hole. You pulled people into your problems and destroyed them. You spent so much of your life fighting to be half the woman your mom was. And you could never be. You knew this now

“Mama!”

Bending down, you opened your arms. Hugging him tightly, you thanked the chauffeur for picking him up from school.

“Hi baby! How’s my little star?”

“Good! School finished early?” It was a statement, but you knew he was asking. Why did you take him out of school early? You really didn’t know. This whole day had felt strange. The air felt heavier. Your fingers felt numb. Something was going to happen and you didn’t want to be alone for it.

“What? My star prefers to be with teachers than with me? You’re making mommy sad!” You playfully nuzzled your head against his cheek and dramatically pouted.

“I’ll never let you go to school again! Ha HA HA” You laughed evilly as you stood up and spun him

“Nooo!” He screamed between laughing.

After a good second of smiles and laughter, you finally set him down.

“Baby, I took you out of school because I wanted to spend time with you. Mommy is being selfish, so I won’t do this again. School is very important, ok?”

“Hmm… but mommy isn’t selfish. She’s a good mommy!”

You almost burst out in tears. He was too young to see how awful you were. His innocence and love for you blinded him. He would someday see you for the monster you are.

Allowing silence to fill the room, you stared into his eyes. God, those eyes. Your whole world could be found in them. Ruffling his hair, you grabbed the nearby scarf and wrapped it around him. Like any kid he grumbled at the added layers.

“Let’s go get ice cream and have fun today. Ok, baby?”

“Ice Cream! I love ice cream! My friend always, they always like laugh at me but not like mean laughing. But they say it’s so weird to eat ice cream when its winter. They think it’s funny. I think it’s funny too! Is snow different from ice cream? Because there’s like all this ice cream on the floor because it’s all snow. I just grab some sometimes and it doesn’t taste the same!”

As he got older, he has gotten a lot more talkative. He spoke incoherently and in run on sentences, but you understood him, nonetheless. You listened attentively when he would spend 30 minutes telling you about a funny thing his friend said. You listened when he would explain his entire school day the entire dinner. You listened the whole time.

“Yes baby, ice cream is yummy! I’m glad you and your friends laugh a lot. And no baby, snow is not the same as ice cream. Snow is made from the water on the earther getting colder, becoming clouds, and falling down. Remember I was teaching you about the water cycle? Ice cream is made from milk!”

At the mention of the water cycle, Sachiro excitedly launched into another spiel. He talked about the cycle, reexplaining it to you. He talked about how his teacher says he’s smart and how he got a toy. He talked about how his friends always ask him for help. He talked all the way to the ice cream parlor. As soon as you two ordered your ice cream, you settled down. Listening to him talk about his dreams. You always set your phone on Do Not Disturb whenever you are with him. He loved attention. If for one second you were to look away, he would immediately deflate. He was a carbon copy of his father. Sometimes you contemplated getting rid of your phone for this reason.

You spent the rest of the day chasing him through the park: pretending to be a dragon he fought, teaching him how to do cartwheels, looking for bugs. You took as many pictures as you could. Filming his smile, his voice, his eyes.

The day came to an end, and you carried him on your back to the apartment you were staying in.

After showering him and singing him a song, you finally took your phone off of DND.

Immediately, you were bombarded with millions of messages from everyone. 20 missed calls from Gen. 11 from Ian. 6 from your dad. 120+ text messages in total. 1 from Gojo.

Was everything ok? Please don’t let something be bad. Please. Please everyone be safe. You heart beat increased. You were immediately transported to when you received news of Satoru’s accident. When the world learned about you running out of your wedding. When Satoru’s affair came out to the world. When you first got the calls of your mother’s sickness...

No. I can’t be selfish right now. If something happened, I have to be strong. Swallowing your fears, you opened the message you thought was the most important right now

Satoru: I’m sorry

No no no. He can’t do this again. He can’t! No please God no… You were almost about to call him, when you received another message from Gen. She was incessantly messaging you. Accidentally clicking on it, you read her last message

Gen: Please answer. Are you ok?

Now you were confused. Why was she asking if you were ok? You weren’t the victim. Doing some simple sleuthing, you looked at all the previous messages. Your eyes widened. You heart stopped. Tears filled your eyes. Looking over at Sachi, you took in a shaky breath. You had to be strong. Or at least strong enough to leave the room before you broke down. You had to do this for him. Stop being selfish Y/N

Shakily you walked out of his room. Looking back to make sure he was asleep; you closed the door gently. Before falling to your knees and letting all the tears fall. They pooled in the floor. You made sure to be quiet, but you were inconsolable. You hugged yourself tightly. You were being selfish right now. You knew that. But you were alone, and it was dark. It was ok to be selfish right now. Your heart was racing as you consoled yourself.

After half an hour of crying on the floor. You took a deep breath in and stood up. You went to the bathroom and stared at yourself.

“You need to stop being such a selfish monster, Y/N. You can’t keep ruining people. You can’t always be the victim. You need to make amends for everything you’ve done.”

You started your nightly ritual. Tears would occasionally mix in with cleanser or the water, but you didn’t stop. You had to be normal. You had to be happy. You owed everyone that. Sometimes it felt like you were caged behind your smile. Your joy had become a prison: a way to pay off all the bad things you’ve done.

Settling in bed, you grabbed your phone and responded to almost everyone. Finally, you reached Satoru’s message.

Y/N: No worries! Congratulations! I expect an invitation lol :)

Satoru proposed to Akemi.

(Flash back to a year ago)

After that New York trip, you hated everyone. You hated your dad for pushing you into this marriage. You hated Getou for helping Satoru cheat on you during your marriage, but not understand why you wouldn’t want a baby with Satoru. You hated Satoru’s mom for projecting her self-loathing onto you. You hated your mom for dying.

Above all else, you hated Satoru for what he did to you. He blamed you for a marriage he agreed to. He gaslit you into staying, knowing your selfless nature would do anything for his forgiveness. Even if that meant being a wife to a man in love. You hated him for taking you to the Bora Bora trip. You hated him for choosing your only friend to date. You hated that you had to go through months of emotional neglect and abuse for him to be kind. Just for Akemi to get it immediately. You hated that he became a better person only after using you. You hated him. You HATED him.

A spiteful part of your heart almost laughed. You were right! All the reasons he loved you, he found in her. You saw all the pictures he had of her. You saw the way he would caress her fingers. You saw him waiting for her. He never loved you! You were just convenient. And that’s why he loved her! Because she was convenient. Had you never sent her to meet him, they wouldn’t have fallen in love. If anything, he would be dating the nurse! Gojo Satoru doesn’t love. He just clings on to what’s closest.

You spent a month marinating in these thoughts. In the week where you didn’t have Sachiro, you wouldn’t leave the office. You had begun sleeping there. You lost weight. Your face was pale. You were a walking corpse. You got assistants to pick up and drop off Sachiro. You never spoke to Satoru.

This was to be your life now. After spending three days in the basement of the office creating, cutting, and sowing, Nobara finally convinced you to leave.

“Seriously Y/N, this is the 4th time I’ve had to get you gauze instead of bandages. I know you’re hurt, and I know you’re trying to distract yourself. But this is getting dangerous. Not only for you but for the clothes! We can’t sell anything if it has your blood all over it!” She tried to joke at the end

As you finished wrapping the gauze around your forearm, you pitifully looked at her. She was so young and innovative. Despite being an intern, you had already set aside a permanent spot in the company for her. Stop burdening her with your problems.

Blinking away your sorrowful expression, you laughed. “Guess I gotta wrap myself in gauze and bandages before getting to work right?”

“Or you could just take a break. Jeez, I never thought workaholic millionaires existed.”

Ruffling her head as you walked towards her. “Thank you for waiting for me. You really didn’t have to. I promise, I won’t take advantage of your kindness. Go ahead and go home, I’ll lock up.”

Stunned, she took a second to respond. Your eyes were different right now. They were vulnerable and sad, but they were so kind at the same time.

“It’s no problem! Really! Thank you Y/N. Let’s work hard together.” Bowing, she made her way out of the store. Maybe you were going to get better?

After cleaning up, you placed the small stuffed bear you were working on in your small bag. Locking the store behind you, you headed towards your apartment. You had made the choice to move out. You were so filled with anger all the time. It would kill you if you were to accidentally lash out against the people you treasured. It was a tough conversation, but you needed space.

As you walked, you decided last minute to head into a craft store. You needed a simple heart locket. Then you could gift the toy to your son.

With only one mission and energy drinks fueling you, you almost didn’t notice them. It wasn’t until you heard your son’s gleeful laughter did you perk up. Peering through the aisles, you saw him. No, you saw them. They both held your son’s hands as they looked at the toys. Letting go only when he would rush over to the loudest or brightest thing. Finally, he settled on a small plush. It had no lights and didn’t make any noise. They encouraged him to get something more expensive. Something flashier. But he didn’t. He wanted the light pink bunny.

“It makes me think of mama!”

You saw Satoru and Akemi falter. It seemed that even the mention of your name silenced them. Your heart was beating so loud, you were sure they could hear it too. Leaning down Satoru ruffled his head.

“Aren’t you a sweet little munchkin! Oh, but look at this!”

You heart almost stopped. You saw Satoru redirect Satchiro’s attention to a cooler, bigger toy. As any kid would, he dropped the stuffed bunny and ran towards the huge toy. Gojo and Akemi exchanged relieved expressions. After purchasing the toy, they headed out.

Walking into the aisle, you picked the bunny up. Holding it, you inspected its simplicity. Looking at the face, you realized why the bunny reminded him of you. The bunny had little tear dops in its eyes. Rushing to the cashier, you bought the bunny and the heart locket. It appears that you rushed too fast, as by the time you exited the store, they were still there.

Sachiro, the spoiled child he was, was throwing a tantrum at having to be put in the car seat. As if he could detect your presence, Satoru immediately looked up. He saw you holding the bunny toy. His eyes filled with guilt and embarrassment. He knew that you were going to be upset. Of course you were. You were always angry at something. Nonetheless, he called you over. You were still the mother of his child.

After seeing the domestic moment in the store, you wanted to go up to them and give them a piece of your mind. You wanted to yell at them at the very least. But no, you walked over to them. Refusing to look up.

At the mention of your name Sachiro perked up. Although he was already strapped into the seat, he did his best to peek out of the car door.

“Hi Y/N”. the tension was palpable. Choosing to ignore him, you approached Sachiro.

“Hi my little star! How are you? Did you have fun today?”

“Hi mommy! I missed you! Wanna go home! We did a lot of stuff-hmm mommy what are you holding?”

Remembering you were holding the bunny, you quickly hid it behind you back. “Just work stuff baby. I’m happy to hear you had fun! Mommy has to go, but I’ll see you this Sunday, ok baby?”

Giving him a big kiss, you did your best to hug him and said goodbye.

Without looking up, you thanked Gojo and Akemi and began walking away. As soon as you got home, you set the plush down and pulled out your own. They both looked so ugly in your bandaged hands. Gently setting down the plush bunny, you tightly held onto the bear’s neck. Slowly, the pressure increased, and you were chocking the bear as tears streamed down your face. It was so ugly. This ugly bear in your ugly hands in your ugly home. Everything was so ugly.

A beep from your phone broke you from this trance. It was from Satoru.

Satoru: Hey

Satoru: Just wanted to let you know that we meant no harm in not getting him the bunny.

Then why? Why not get him that stupid toy! Sachiro is my kid! I am his mom! If he wanted that toy, then you should have gotten it! You almost wrote everything you thought. But no- no you were wrong. Sachiro wasn’t yours. Satoru had every right to get his son whatever he wanted. You kept Sachiro away from him for three years. You were the bad guy.

Trembling you came to the realization. Rushing to the bathroom, you stripped yourself of all the clothes and the bandages. You looked at yourself in the mirror. You almost barfed. You were a monster. You were disgusting. Disfigured. Non-human.

Is this how Satoru felt?

The worst part of you were your eyes. They were so dead. Did you always look like this? How could anyone even stand to look at you? You were vile.

You had change. You spiraled into an abyss of anger and resentment. You lost yourself. Where was the sweet girl you once were. Growing a backbone didn’t mean you had to change. After a quick shower filled with tears, you got dressed and headed into the spare room. You spent the rest of the night making a light blue bunny. Unlike the store bought one, this one was smiling. It was happy. Sowing the heart locket onto the chest, you put in a small image of you and Sachiro.

You had to be better. You had to be kind.

Grabbing the phone, you replied.

Y/N: Thank you for reaching out, but really, I didn’t mind!

Y/N: Good night!

The next day, you didn’t go to work. Instead, you were at a café, waiting for someone to show up. You felt awful, but you knew this was the best thing to do. You had to be kind. Even if that meant being a villain. If being evil is the price you pay, then you will gladly pay it. Even more people would hate you. Everyone would. But you knew what you were doing was good. You had to be good.

As soon as he walked in, you knew that he knew. His furrowed brow and tight jaw made it obvious that he was upset. And he had every right to be. Any anger and hate he harbored for you, you would accept.

“Toji, here’s your coffee. I’m so incredibly sorry for calling you at the last minute. I appreciate the time you took out of your day to meet with me”

He didn’t even sit down. He didn’t take the coffee.

Its now or never. Getting on your knees, you placed your hands on the floor and bowed. Your forehead was almost touching the floor.

“Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being a shoulder to lean on. Thank you for letting me join your family. Thank you for everything Toji. And I am so sorry for not giving you an ounce of it back. I am a selfish monster. I took everything you gave me and more. I was never a good fiancé. I wasn’t even a good friend. I took advantage of your loneliness. I will never forget the time we had together. But I ask you to forget about me. You deserve a more honest person. A person who can give you everything you deserve and more.”

People were looking and many taking pictures. Noticing this, he grabbed you by your arm, and headed out of the café. His grip was strong; it was sure to leave a bruise in your forearm, he nearly threw you into the passenger side of the car, slamming the door. He walked over to his side and began driving. The car was silent. You took refuge in it. You knew what he was going to ask. And you had to lie. You had to make him hate you.

Soon enough, he parked in a desolate park. He refused to look at you. You didn’t want to look at him either, but you did. You had to.

After minutes of harrowing silence, he finally spoke in a low voice

“Did you sleep with him?”

You knew he was going to ask this. A tear slid down your cheek. Your hands had begun to bleed as you kept them in closed fists.

“Yes”

He still didn’t look at you.

“Bullshit. You forget that I can see through your lies. I know why you’re doing this. You love him. You never stopped. Even after all the shit he put you through you still want him. Why now? Three years and I wasn’t enough for you. I defend you; I support you... all for what? For you to run back to your abuser. Every time I think your mine, you disrespect me. You humiliate me. You’re doing to me what that fucker did to you.”

“…Yes. I am. That’s why you have to leave me Toji. I can’t stand my reflection. I am so selfish-”

“Shut up. Don’t play the ‘pity me’ card. God, you really are something. The forever victim.”

You stayed quiet. In a perfect world, you would defend yourself. You would tell him that you aren’t trying to be the victim. You never were! You see that now.

“You’re right.”

“All those fucking articles were right about you. I spent so much time, so much energy telling you they were lies. Turns out strangers know you better than I do. You are a two-timing bitch. You are selfish. You’re insatiable. Why couldn’t I have been enough for you. How the hell was I competing with the man who never loved you? And losing! You deserve nothing, you know that… You never left that room, did you?”

“W-what room?”

“That hospital room. Sure, you’re older now. You’ve been to a million places. But mentally? Mentally, you’re still in that hospital room. There is no cure for your loneliness. Face it Y/N, the problem has and always will be you. If you want to die next to your mom, be my guest. But you need to leave that room Y/N. If not for you, for your kid.”

He stayed quiet. It was your turn to speak. He didn’t want to hear you, but his patient nature told him to give you a chance. Not to defend yourself. But rather explain yourself.

“You’re right Toji. I think that’s why I always look for you. You always have the wisest things to say. And I know that. I’ve let the world pass me by. I have a void in my heart and its rotted me from the inside out. I’ll spend my entire life working for your forgiveness. And my lifetime might not be enough for that. You are everything to me. And that’s why I can’t let myself continue to poison you. I’ve changed you for the worst.”

You two sat in silence. You could hear his uneven breath. Reaching out you put hand on his shoulder. For the first time he turned to look at you. And there he saw it. Your eyes.

Red and puffy with tears, your face for once didn’t look as haunted as usual. There was always this air of anger around you. Your shoulders were always tense. Eyebrows always furrowed. Not now. You looked younger. Instead of the anger that had clouded your eyes, he could finally see his reflection.

You didn’t look happy per se, but you looked aware. He looked at the hand on his shoulder. Even after everything he said, you were comforting him? This was the old you. The selfless to a fault Y/N. He couldn’t tell if this was a good or bad thing.

He then noticed the mark on your forearm, already purple. In the shape of his hands. Reaching out he gently caressed the bruises, guilt settling in the pit of his stomach. You grabbed his hand and brought it to your lips.

“Don’t worry about it. I love you Toji. Please, forget me.”

When the news broke out that you had ended your relationship, Ian did his best to remove a lot of the posts. It was hard since there were so many shots of you on the floor begging for forgiveness. If you didn’t look guilty then, now you did. Why else would you be apologizing? But you didn’t mind. Instead, you focused on removing any article that spoke badly on Toji. Especially after some pictures of you and that hand-print bruise were published.

Fortunately, your brand had already been established. And while the coverage halted some planned promotions and runways, by the end of the month everything was normal again.

You changed your phone to a flip phone. You did your best to text Satoru about pick up times. Most often he wouldn’t respond. Instead, you would have to call Miwa. On the rare occasion that he did, you would spend the rest of the day crying. You cried so much. You couldn’t help but remember that way they both held Sachiro’s hands. The domestic life you would never provide for him.

Often you would contemplate if you should have accepted him. Did you really love him? Or was it just easier to love him? You couldn’t trust yourself. Your mind was in ruins. You had no one. Since your change in attitude, people have become nicer to you. But you weren’t happy. And you stopped letting people get close. You even began to push away Gen and Ian. Monthly, you would meet with your dad and that was it.

Was life good? No, but it was better. You would be content if life stayed like this. But now, a year after your failed marriage, Satoru was going to prepare his own.

(Present time)

The day after receiving that message, it was published everywhere. It was the only thing articles were talking about. With the mentions of Satoru’s new marriage, you were put into the spotlight again.

The paparazzi swarmed you. Leaving your house had become difficult. They harassed you. Pushing you while demanding you answer questions. You smiled. You thanked them for their time. You would bid them farewell. It was too dangerous that you could no longer pick your son up. Not that you minded. You didn’t want to see how happy they were. Not until you were done healing at least.

You spent the weekend doing everything Sachiro wanted. Breakfast in bed? Of course. Quick trip to the local festival? Duh. Building a fort? Obviously.

By the time Sunday night came he was so tired. All he asked was that you sing to him before his dad picked him up. Now you sat with Sachiro’s head on your lap. Normally, a bodyguard would meet you at your door and take your son downstairs as to not garner attention.

As soon as the knock came, you gently laid his head on couch. Slowly you opened the door, expecting to see the normal guard.

“Thank- oh. Good evening, Satoru. Are you here to pick up Sachiro?”

He looked past you and saw Sachiro sleeping. Letting himself in, he sat on the couch and petted Sachi’s head. After moments of silence, he finally spoke up.

“Yes, but I also came because I need to talk to you.”

Solemnly, you nodded. “I actually have something to say as well. I was planning to email it later, but if you’re here then we should discuss. Would you like anything?”

Satoru couldn’t help but stare at you. Just a year ago, he had buried the old you. It was his fault he knew that. If you were mean and angry, it was because he made you that way. The damage was irreparable. But here he saw her again. Or at least a glimpse of her.

Even though he didn’t respond, you still handed him a water bottle.

“Did you want to go first?”

“Um, yes. I just... I just wanted to apologize for not letting you know. I was planning on calling you, but I got distracted. I’m sorry you had to learn that way.”

“Silly. We all flub up sometimes. I would have appreciated knowing so that I could explain it to Sachiro. Thank you for apologizing.”

Even though you were smiling, he could tell you were sad. Your eyes were distant. It was like you had detached yourself from everyone. Somehow, he already missed that angry Y/N. At least he knew what you were thinking. Now, it felt like when you two had gotten married. How you smiled every time he yelled at you. He expected you would say the “I don’t care what you do with your life” speech and spitefully kick him out. He could sleep well knowing you hated him. But seeing your smile, it felt like he was cheating again. No. No, you asked for him to forget you. This is good. You’re getting better. But is returning to your selfless self better? That’s when you suffered the most. That’s what changed you.

You didn’t give him much time to think as you started to speak.

“Satoru, can I ask you for a favor?”

He knew what you were going to say. This nice act can’t last forever. This was the angry Y/N he knew.

“Can you take care of Sachiro for a couple of months? I know it’s a lot, but I have some... business to take care of. I would take him with me, but I don’t want to separate you from him anymore than I already have.”

Oh?

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll take care of him. I can’t believe you had to ask. He’s my son, of course I will take care of him.”

His tone had changed. He had gotten angry at the mention of the three years. You didn’t react. You just thanked him.

Gojo enjoyed his week with Sachiro and Akemi. It felt like they had a family. This is what he wanted. Sure, you were Sachiro’s real mom, but Akemi was also kind of like a mom. He noticed how well the two got along. He sought comfort in her and laughed with her. Yes. This is good.

Yet, he couldn’t help but think about you.

Every time Sachiro offered the first bite of his food to him. Every time Sachiro defended the annoying people at the mall. Every time Sachiro smiled, Satoru saw you. Yes, Sachiro looked exactly like him, but everything about him was you. It was all you.

His heart almost broke when he saw Sachiro singing to his stuffed animals.

“Hey munchkin. BedTIME!” He joyfully grabbed Sachiro and swung him around the room. Instead of laughing, Sachiro began to pout.

“No playing at bedtime dada. No”

“Oh, my bad Sachi.” He was a replica of you.

Satoru sat on the bed as Sachiro headed to the bathroom, pulled out his step stool and began cleaning his face. After finishing his regiment, he waddled back into the room and settled himself into bed.

“Is dada going to read me a story?”

“Can I sing to you instead munchkin?”

“Hmmm… no thank you dada.”

“Aww you’re a meanie! Um, but actually I need to talk to you about something serious.”

“Mhmm”

“You like Akemi, right? Dada likes her a lot. But it’s very important that you like her.”

“Yesh! Akemi is nice!”

He knew that this was wrong, but he had to ask. “Do you ever think Akemi could be like momma?”

Immediately tears sprouted from the boy’s eyes. He started frantically grabbing and throwing some of his toys.

“NO! Mommy is Mommy! No one else is mommy! I hate Akemi! I hate her! I want mommy! Mommy!!”

Sachiro was screeching. Gojo was thankful that Akemi was in another room. She really did love Sachiro, and it would have broken her heart to hear him say that.

He held Sachiro close, trying to console him. “Shhh, baby. Daddy didn’t mean that ok? No one will replace mommy. Mommy is all yours.” Sachiro cried until his tears tired him out. No, I can’t tell him. Not today. Maybe Y/N should tell him instead. Sorry Y/N. I’m using your selflessness again.

Soon enough the week ended, and he passed him back to you. Instead of showing up in person, as he did last time, he sent the bodyguards to take him. He was being cowardly, he knew. But he couldn’t risk Sachiro hating him. It’s your fault their relationship is so weak. It should only be right that it’s your job to explain everything to Sachiro. Right?

Satoru: Hey, I tried to tell him about me and Akemi. He didn’t respond very well. Could you explain it to him?

You almost rolled your eyes at the message. You were being punished. You knew that. But you responded with a simple ‘Ok’ anyway.

Switch offs happened at night to make sure that each parent spent the majority of the day with Sachiro. You and Sachiro headed to the bathroom and completed your nightly routine all while dancing and occasionally teasing each other. This is what you lived for. Yes, you were lonely all the time. But you weren’t lonely with him. He was your reason to exist. It was going to hurt you being away from him for so long. But this would be good for everyone. This would be your last act of selflessness. This would atone for every bad thing you did.

By the time you cleaned up all the splashed water, Sachiro was already in bed ready for his song. Instead, you sat on the floor.

“Hey star boy, I need to talk to you. It’s going to be serious, ok?”

As soon as you finished the sentence, he burst into tears. Hugging you close he shook his head in a no motion.

“NO! I hate her! I hate her! She’s not mommy! Mommy is mommy! Mommy is my star and I’m her star! Not Akemi!”

Confused you held him tight. You cooed and brushed his snow-white hair back. “No Akemi won’t replace me baby.”

He pulled away to look up at you. “Daddy asked me! He asked me if Akemi could be mommy! I said no!”

You sighed dejectedly. This is why it didn’t go well. Your son was naturally altruistic. He would have understood and accepted had Gojo explained everything normally. But it seems that Gojo had made a selfish request. Why is it always my job to clear up Satoru’s name? Why can he be selfish and be the victim, but I can’t? No! No, I can’t think that! I’ve been selfish my whole life! Satoru is a victim. This will all be solved soon…

“My star, he didn’t mean it that way. Listen to me Sachiro. Me and you are a family, right? Me and you were also part of Toji’s family. Sometimes, when you love someone, you can add them to your family. Mommy messed up with Toji, and I’m no longer part of their family. But Satoru has someone he loves. Is it ok for her to join our family?”

You had dumped a lot of information on him. It took a second to process everything.

“So, we aren’t family with Toji?”

“I’m not baby. But you will always be, ok. That’s how love works. They love you a lot.”

“Are you and daddy family?”

“Yes, we are. You make us a family.”

“But does mommy love daddy?”

You were stumped. This is probably why Satoru didn’t want this conversation. So, you answered honestly.

“Yes, mommy loves daddy.”

“Then why does daddy love Akemi?”

“Love is strange, baby. Sometimes you love people more. And he loves Akemi more. Is that ok?”

He took a second to think

“I guess…”

“Thank you for being so selfless Sachiro.” You stopped to think. “But if you’re ever not okay, then you have to tell someone, ok? Its ok to be selfish too.” You were just projecting, but you knew it was important for him to hear that too.

“Ok?”

“Speaking of being selfish… Mommy is going away for a couple of months.” As expected, he started bawling. He started kicking and throwing. He was loud. He was angry. He was betrayed

“NO! NO! Mommy can’t go! Mommy can’t leave me! She can’t! I’ll be a good boy I promise! I’ll eat every veggie! I won’t cry anymore! Mommy can’t leave!! It’s Akemi’s fault! Her fault! That’s why mommy cries so much! Its daddy too! Mommy never cried!”

You started crying too. All those times you thought you hid your tears he saw. He saw everything. This was the worst-case scenario. You had to leave. You couldn’t let him see you like that anymore. You had to leave that hospital room. Toji was right.

You held onto him. Even when he began to hit you. Even when he rubbed his snot over you. You waited until he calmed down, Silent tears were streaming down his face.

“Can we go back to New York mommy? I hate it here. Daddy is mean to mommy. Mommy cries all the time. Mommy is lonely and sad while Daddy is happy. It’s not ok.”

You wiped his tears away.

“Sachiro, don’t say that. Mommy is paying the price for being bad. Daddy deserves to be happy. He loves you so so much. Please forget everything bad, Sachiro. Daddy wasn’t mean to me. If he was, I wouldn’t let you stay with him, right? Mommy isn’t lonely. She has you. Mommy will never be sad as long as Sachiro is here. You’re like my superhero! Mommy is struggling and she needs to fix some stuff so she can be a better mommy for you ok, baby? None of this is your fault. I have to go, but I promise you, this will be better for you and for me. I promise with my whole heart. The second I get everything sorted out, I’ll pick you up. This hurts me too, baby. But I need to be a better mommy for you. None of this if your fault. Don’t you ever think that. Hey, to help my little star, I have present for you.”

You stood up and presented him with a white, sleek box. It had beautiful light blue ribbon on it. He held it but refused to open it.

“I even got myself a present so we could match!”

You pulled out your own white box. Seeing that you both had a present, he was more willing to open his. It was a phone. You had a matching one. You really didn’t want another phone, as you were content with the flip phone you already had. It made ignoring all the evil things people said about you a lot easier to manage.

“When mommy’s gone, we can call each other all the time. I’ll respond to every text. I’ll answer every phone call. I promise. I won’t be gone for long. But I’ll text you so much you’ll wish I was.”

This garnered a small giggle from him.

“Don’t worry baby, we have the rest of the week. We’ll do everything you want.”

He nodded glumly. He wasn’t too happy, but he felt a lot better knowing he could reach out to you.

You slept with him. Holding him close, you did your best to treasure these moments.

When Sunday night finally came, you asked Satoru to pick him up personally. This was a big change, even if it was temporary. You wanted Sachiro to be as relaxed as possible. You and him sat on the couch. You had packed a bunch of his valuables and even some pictures so that he wouldn’t feel so lonely. He was again on your lap, fighting to stay awake as you ran your fingers through his hair.

The serene moment was disrupted by the loud knocks coming from the door. Expecting to see Satoru you opened the door, only to see Akemi there. You did your best to keep your smile. It wasn’t that you hated her. No, she was your friend at one point to. But an evil part of you knew you could never forgive her. Not for dating Satoru, but for choosing him over your friendship. You told her everything, but because she never experienced it, she could ignore it. That is selfish. As if you can critique others for being selfish.

You welcome both of them. Sachiro already stood up, holding the blanket closely. He refused to look at his dad or Akemi. His eyes were already brimming with tears.

Bending down to his level, you caress his face. “It’s ok to cry, my star. But before you do, I have a gift for you.”

Reaching behind the couch, you presented him the light blue bunny you had made. His eyes widened and he squealed in joy Running to hug it he struggled opening the locket. One he did, he looked at you with the biggest smile on his face. He ran and hugged your knees.

“Whenever you miss mommy, give that bunny a big hug, and I’ll feel it. Have fun with Daddy. You must be a good boy. Call me whenever you want, but I promise to call you every day. Mommy just needs to get some work done and then everything will be back to normal ok?”

After a couple minutes of holding each other, he finally walked over to where Satoru was. He raised his hands asking to be picked up.

“Thank you, Satoru. Thank you, Akemi. I trust you two will take wonderful care of him.” You bowed at a 90-degree angle.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you leaving?” You hadn’t spoken to Akemi in a while. For a couple months, she stayed employed with you. Yet, after your official break up with Toji, she immediately resigned. You always wondered if she thought you did it because of Satoru.

Smiling gently you respond, “I’m sorry, I can’t say. It’s nothing crazy, I promise! I just need some time.”

“It’s not because of…”

“Goodness no! I know I haven’t been the most supportive. I’ve been downright awful. I hope both of you forgive me for how I acted. It was selfish and attention seeking. I don’t expect any special invitation, but please know that I support this relationship. I’m glad you two found each other. Truly”

Satoru almost flinched at the words you used. The guilt of you actually believing all the nasty things he said to you weighed heavy on him. He almost regretted bringing Akemi here. If she wasn’t, he would have consoled you. Even if it only would have been a hand on your shoulder.

The worst part about hearing you subscribe to all his insults was seeing the honesty behind it. You did think you were a terrible person.

Before either of them could say anything, you started ushering them out.

“You guys must head out now! Sachiro still needs his night routine. He has school tomorrow, and he’s already stayed up so late. If you guys feel like he’s too tired, I don’t mind if he doesn’t go. It’s your call. Thank you both for everything!”

You nearly pushed them out of the apartment. As soon as that door closed, you broke down. This was going to be one of the hardest things you’ve done. But you had to do it.

Nearly two months have passed. Satoru relished every second he had with his son. He has never felt more like a family than he did now. Everything was perfect.

If it weren’t for the bunny he carried everywhere. Or the fact that Sachiro couldn’t do anything without having to send his mom a text. Sending a sleepy blurry selfie was more important than getting dressed. He would facetime you every night before going to sleep. There were times where he even ignored Satoru in lieu of sending you a selfie with a filter on top of it.

Satoru heard and saw more of you now, than he did in the last year.

Even Akemi was getting a little frustrated.

Yet, Satoru wasn’t just frustrated. He felt guilty. Your presence at the house had become so abundant, that he would often stay in Sachiro’s room just to hear you sing. He did his best to mind his business, but in the cases where he saw the silly selfie you would send back. It would plague his mind for the rest of the day.

From the few glimpses he got, he could tell that something was changing. You weren’t in the office, or in any modern building it seemed. You were a lot livelier. You were happier?

How could a mom be happier away from her child? He would nearly scoff out loud at the thought. Maybe this was your way of giving him full custody? No there was no way.

The next day, after sending Sachiro to school, he headed to the office. It was a usual day. He was glad he was able to save the company. He really was going to lose all this over you? No. He loved you. And you didn’t love him. But Akemi did. And his workers needed him.

As he continued working, suddenly Miwa and Nanami both presented themselves. Miwa was always easy to read. She was skittish and nervous. Nanami, on the other hand, was harder to read, but he could tell he was a little unsure as well. “Nanami! Miwa! What bring you in here? I reviewed my schedule already. Is there something I missed?”

Miwa cracked first. “Um... Mr. Gojo, have you been in contact with Ms. Y/N recently?”

“She calls Sachiro nearly every day. Did something happen?”

“Well, have you been in contact in the last hour?”

“Miwa may you please get to the point?”

Nervously, she looked up at Nanami. Sighing and pushing his glasses up, he handed Satoru the iPad. “None of this means anything. And if something did happen, it is not your responsibility. It’s just rather strange.”

Gojo looked over the screen. In big bold letters there it was:

Y/N STEPS DOWN FROM HEARTS COMPANY.

Y/N SELLS OVER A MILLION IN STOCKS

HEARTES INTRODUCES NEW CEO AND CREATIVE DESIGNER

Y/N RESIGNS FROM COMPANY

Y/N’S APARTMENT UP FOR SALE?!

Gojo looked at the headlines frantically. He knew what all this was implying. Yet, he needed verification. He couldn’t fathom the thought that you would have… No there’s no way. You have Sachiro. You wouldn’t do this.

“Um... what exactly does this have to do with me Nanami?”

“It means nothing. It seems that Y/N has done some irrational choices that garnered some attention from the media. That’s all this is. Unfortunately, you know how convoluted your history is with her. Some people might assume that since she’s acting out in such an illogical and hysterical manner, that she may be going through a manic episode. A manic episode that may precede…” Nanami couldn’t finish the sentence.

His heart was beating. No, there’s no way you could be gone. No. No. You made a promise! You promised to return for Sachiro. Right Sachiro. That’s why Gojo is feeling so bothered and anxious. He’s worried for the mother of his child, that’s all.

“I think… I think I’ll head home. If she has been in contact with anyone, it would be my son. Thank you for letting me know.”

As he made his way to the car, he couldn’t help but speed. He needed to make sure you were ok... for the sake of Sachiro.

On the way, he received a phone call from Akemi. Normally, he would have pulled over and answered her. But not today. He drove, breaking most speed laws all the way home. He barely turned his car off as he rushed the door. Yet, as he got to the door, he found a box. It was for Sachiro Gojo. Without hesitation, he looked at the sender’s address in the corner and typed it in. It was a two-hour drive, but he didn’t care. This box didn’t prove anything. You must have sent it days ago. If you had planned to do this all at once that meant only one thing. You were planning to commit. There was no other option. With only this one mission fueling him, he unknowingly kept ignoring Akemi’s calls

After an hour and a half of driving, Gojo started to notice his surroundings. This was an older city. There were multiple shrines and elders. There were very few cars. A lot of cats. This was weird. He continued following the GPS. He passed the city and made his way up the mountainous region. By 5 pm. He had reached an isolated house on top of the hills. The land was relatively flat once he got up there. There was an impressive house. It looked new. The house wasn’t a mansion, but it was still large. The lights in what he assumed the kitchen were on. Hesitantly, he knocked.

Soon enough someone opened the door. No, not someone, you did

There stood you. You looked younger, happier, kinder. Unlike last time, your happiness didn’t feel like a mask. It felt genuine. He couldn’t marinate in his confusion as you grabbed his hand and pulled him in.

“Hi Gojo! I’m shocked to see you here! Come in! Let me get you a lemonade. It must have been a long drive.”

You sat him down on your couch. He couldn’t help but think about that mansion. The one where you were supposed to start and raise a family. This one was a lot cozier, with the architecture of it being rounder in a way. It felt like a cottage despite its massive size. There were a lot of plants. On the walls were framed pictures. Mostly of Sachiro. A lot were ones he’s never seen. There were a lot of selfies of you two. And hidden between all of them was that Disneyland photo. It was when he had amnesia. When he thought you were cheating. Before he knew of all your lies. That instantly ruined his mood.

Placing a coaster, you set his drink down. He couldn’t help but notice that the coasters were made with images of Sachiro’s drawings.

“The lemonade is rather tart since the lemons are homegrown. So, I went ahead and added a bit of sugar. But here’s some more if you like. I don’t know if you still have the same sweet tooth. So, if I put too much sugar, let me know! I’ll get you another cup!” You set down a jar with sugar. You were so talkative. The last time you spoke this much with him was when you were kids.

He didn’t move. Noticing his discomfort, you kept talking. “I was going to call you tomorrow. But I’m glad to see you. Did you come alone?”

“Y/N, I thought you committed suicide.”

You deflated slightly. Somberly you looked around the room. With a gentle smile, you looked at him. It was like you had puppy dog eyes. He could get lost in them. It had been a year since he was attracted to you, but he couldn’t help but want to lean closer to you. To breathe your air. He stopped himself in time

“It all happened kinda fast right? I was hoping that by doing it all at once, it would be like ripping the band aid off, y’know? People are bound to talk, so instead of doing it slowly and reigniting interest in my life every couple of weeks, I thought it would be easier if I just made one big splash and let the water settle from there.”

It felt like he was in a different dimension. You spoke so casually to him. It almost felt like he was the weird one. In disbelief, he stayed quiet.

Taking a deep breath, you continued. “Honestly, I did plan to. To commit suicide, I mean. So, I guess you weren’t completely wrong.”

He stared at you. How you casually admitted to your suicidal ideations.

“What? You can’t be the only one to be suicidal right?” You joked, hoping to ease the tension. It did the exact opposite.

“Y/N I need you to fucking explain everything. No jokes”

Your gaze hardened. “Gojo, you do not disrespect me in my house. I have welcomed you because you are my child’s father, but I will forbid you from coming here again if you speak to me like that again.”

He remained silent but nodded. It was weird. You definitely had grown a backbone since he last saw you in your apartment. Just a couple months ago, you looked like the submissive, docile, doormat you once were. But now? Now you confident and strong without sacrificing your trusting and selfless nature. You were a perfect blend of your youth and your experience.

“This is my way of asking for forgiveness. From everyone. I’ve done a lot of awful things. Since that New York trip, I became vindictive. I became evil. I didn’t know why. How could I be jealous that the man I encouraged to move on moved on? I was changing Satoru. I had thought that being mean and cold was a way to protect myself. But in reality, I had gotten worse. I couldn’t stand my reflection. Then, I saw you Akemi and my star at the store. You remember right? With the pink bunny? You all looked so happy. It was the life Sachiro deserved. I went home and saw myself. Really saw myself. I couldn’t recognize who that person in the mirror was. Since then, I was determined to seek forgiveness from everyone I wronged. My first thought was to kill myself. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that to my star. Even now, I find myself fantasizing about just jumping off that cliff… I even planted flowers there so whenever Sachiro visited, he would feel safe. But I can’t. That’s why I have all these photos and drawings of him. If I keep thinking of him, I’ll never have time to contemplate killing myself.”

Gojo couldn’t stop his eyes from watering. He almost reached out to grab your hands. He closed his hands harshly, forcing himself not to move. “But Y/N... you didn’t do anything wrong. I mean, you have done wrong. But we all have. You shouldn’t have to punish yourself for existing.”

Always and empath, you leaned forward and placed a cute octopus squishy in his hands. He quietly accepted it, showing the indents his nails made on palm “You don’t want to accidentally cut yourself. I learned that a little too late.” You laughed gently as you showed him your own palm. There were small scars in the shape of your nails.

Holding the squishy in one hand, he used the other hand to inspect your hand. They were different. It was obvious that you still took care of your hands: soft, supple, perfect nail beds, trimmed nails. But upon further inspection, he could see multiple scars littering your fingers. His gaze drifted upwards to your forearm. There he saw some bigger scars. Some still scabbing. He could feel his own scar throb at the memory of the pain. Gojo couldn’t stop himself as some tears fell out. He couldn’t stop himself from tracing their outline.

“Why- why would you do this? You were alone the whole time? Then why? Y/N I don’t understand you? You were going to…”

He was interrupted by your melodious laughter. You pulled your hand away. “You’re too sweet Gojo. No. No these aren’t what you think they are. It’s just some office mistakes. I jumped into my work to fill that void of loneliness. But you know, it’s pretty dangerous to be handling sharp rotary cutters when you haven’t slept for days.”

Grabbing his hand, you pulled him up. “Let’s go for a walk!”

Leading him to the back door, her couldn’t help but stare at your interlinked hands. The tips of his ears turned pink. He felt so young right now. No. No I can’t think like that.

The back yard was like a Ghibli fantasy forest. It had plenty of lush green plants and flowers growing everywhere. In a corner there was a cute gazebo with two easels ready. One noticibly smaller than the other. There were plenty of trees a reasonable distance from the house. They provided a nice area of shade. Some grew peaches, others grew limes. A stone path led to another corner where a sand pit was already set up. The entire perimeter was protected with a gorgeous white fence. Tall enough that Sachiro wouldn’t be possible to scale it. There was one exit. You headed there still holding Gojo’s hand. Typing in a security code, the door opened, and you headed into the forest. After a 5-minute walk, the forest cleared and presented a cliff side. Undoubtedly it was gorgeous. The ocean was beautiful. Flowers and clovers surrounded the area.

He didn’t realize how much time had passed until he saw that the sun was setting. You let go of his hand and sat down, resting your head on your knees. You always had that curious habit of returning to a fetal position. Settling next to you, he couldn’t stop himself from looking at you. You looked ethereal. With the sun in your face, the wind in your hair. There was a gentle smile playing on your lips as you stared at the ocean.

“Gojo…”

He couldn’t help but squish the little octopus. He didn’t know why it hurt him to hear you call him only by his last name.

“I disagree with what you said earlier. I should be punished for my existence. I’ve done nothing good. Born into a life of luxury, and I still managed to want more… When Toji broke up with me, he told me something very valuable. He told me that I was stuck in my mother’s hospital room. That I never left. And he’s right. Ever since my mom died, I became a walking corpse. I cursed myself with eternal loneliness. And yet, I so wanted to fight that loneliness. So when my father mentioned the marriage, I was ecstatic. Although we haven’t spoken in years and you refused to answer any messages I sent, my loneliness convinced me that you wanted it. I mean technically you did, but you didn’t really want it. I wonder, if I had never accepted that proposal, would you still be with Sera? Would any of this happened?”

The wind filled in for Gojo’s silence.

“My selfishness blinded me. I so badly wanted to be loved that I ignored any sign of resistance. Even when you told me that I would never compare to her, I wanted you to change for me. How pretentious. Had I just given up, then maybe you wouldn’t have thought that you loved me. When you couldn’t vanquish my loneliness, I searched for it in Toji. I abused his friendship just so that I wouldn’t be alone. When I figured out the real reason you married me, the reason you bought that house, the betrayal. That almost killed me Gojo. Imagine that. Even at my lowest I couldn’t stop seeking attention. I put myself over you, as usual. I lied and kept you from your child. I shouldn’t have been so selfish. It was okay that you didn’t love me. As long as you loved our child. But no selfish Y/N strikes again. Then, even though I knew I wasn’t ready, I still accepted when Toji proposed. I’m a monster. Just a year ago, I almost lost it. I was becoming unrecognizable Gojo. I couldn’t look at you and Akemi without getting angry. How was it fair, that I had to go through months of humiliation, which in hindsight, I did deserve, just for her to get the perfect boyfriend. I cried for months before you even held me. The first time we had sex, I had to beg you to kiss me. I hated her and I hated you. But that’s not your fault. Nor is it her’s. It’s mine. If I wasn’t so selfish and I didn’t think you loved me then none of this would have happened. I ruined so many lives because I couldn’t see past myself. If I didn’t use people to fill this abyss I have in my heart, I wouldn’t have caused you to almost commit suicide. I wouldn’t have taken Sera’s boyfriend from her. I wouldn’t have wasted Toji’s time. I wouldn’t have hurt your mom. None of this would have happened. I should have stayed in that hospital room. I should have asked them to bury me with her.”

You were crying now. Your hands shaky as they gripped tighter. You were curling in on yourself, wanting to disappear.

“If I hadn’t been so awful, Sachiro wouldn’t have seen me cry so much.”

Gojo’s heart broke. All those lies. All those insults. You believed them. No. No you weren’t selfish. You were the opposite. You always put other above yourself, even if it hurt you. Of course, you’ve committed your share of sins, but never maliciously. You were too trusting, too eager to please. And to think he didn’t love you? That nearly shattered him. He may have moved on, but the love he had for you was real. Even though he may have forgotten how to love you: even though he may have abused you: even though he didn’t deserve to love you, he has never stopped loving you since you were young.

He reached out a hand to soothe your back as you hiccupped through your gentle tears. You had a special charm that made everything you did look beautiful. But he paused seeing how stunning you were despite the tears on your face. He almost kissed you. But he didn’t. Not because he held himself back, but because he saw your eyes.

As you stared into the ocean, your eyes changed from their vulnerable and kind state to a detached, disconnected gaze. Almost like you were hypnotized by the sea. The waves calling you. It was the same gaze he had when he was suicidal.

“After seeing you at the store, I realized that I needed to atone for my sins. I needed to seek forgiveness. That night was actually the night I realized I needed to commit suicide. Not to ease my own pain, no that’s a selfish reason. I wanted to commit suicide so that everyone’s bad thoughts, everyone’s problems, and every bad thing I did could die with me. If everyone took turns spitting on my grave, I wouldn’t mind. As long as I was no longer causing problems, it would have been worth it. I spent the whole night making a new stuffed animal for him. I cut myself a lot by accident, but I didn’t mind. That was going to be his last gift. My existence is a mistake. Me dying would be a gift to the world.”

“And?”

“And I clearly decided not to. I owe my life to Sachiro. As long as he needs me, I will live for him. I want to die, Gojo. I want to give everyone the life they had before they met me. I want everyone to be happy again. But I can’t. Because I have my little star. I’m evil Gojo. I’m a black hole. I pull people in, only to destroy them. I’m afraid one day I might do that to him too.”

You turned to look at him, tears streaming down your face.

“It kills me to know that one day I’ll hurt him too. But he loves me so much. He fills the void in my heart. I’m not lonely when I’m with him and I know its selfish, but the way he looks at me... The way he looks at me almost makes me think I’m a good person.”

Gojo continued staring at you. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Hearing you talk about yourself this way hurt him immensely. It almost felt like he was drowning. No, you didn’t get better. None of your problems were solved. You just learned to live with them.

You leaned close to Gojo. The honesty in your eyes almost scared him. “Gojo, if you ever notice that Sachiro is suffering being with me, I need you to tell me. The second I start poisoning him, I’ll kill myself.”

The conviction behind your words paralyzed him. You two sat there for a minute. He didn’t know what to say. He knew what this felt like. He knew the exact emotions you were drowning in. But he couldn’t help but think that you were a lot worse. You have begun to hate your entire existence. You had no one. The amount of self-hate you had was shocking.

After a couple minutes of silence, you wiped your tears away. Standing up you offered your hand to him.

Looking at you now, it felt like he was in an alternate dimension. One where he confessed when he was younger. One where he never met Sera. One when he got on a knee and properly proposed. And he almost believed it. Just as he reached to grab your hand, he finally noticed how his phone was ringing. Looking down he saw Akemi’s number. He looked at you apologetically. You smiled kindly and continued to offer your hand. As his bigger hand enveloped yours, he imagined pulling you in close and kissing you in the sunset. Just like the romance novels you loved. As soon as he stood up, though, you released his hand. Walking past him you headed back to you house.

You were giving him privacy. He was at crossroads; stay here and answer the phone or chase after you. All those times he didn’t. Maybe he should this time. No. He’s going to get married. He’s made his choice. And like usual, he didn’t chase after you.

He spent some time with Akemi on the phone. He explained the entire situation to her. He omitted everything you told him, though. That was for him only. He calmed her down and promised he would be home by the end of the night.

Walking back to your house, he smelled the pasta you used to love so much. You only ever cooked it for him once. He saw you humming as you stirred the pasta with the sauce.

“Y/N, I’m going to head out now. Akemi is worried. You should call your family too. They’re probably worried too.”

You turned to him. You looked like a picture-perfect housewife with the apron you had on. You hummed in agreement.

“They already know, but thank you for the suggestion. It was nice seeing you. Would you like some food to take for the trip?”

He should say no. There’s no way to explain leaving work to spend the whole day with your ex-wife to your fiancé. Much less if he brought food with him.

“Sure.”

You packed it into some cute tupperware. It had little duckies on the lids. He just realized how much you changed financially as well. Besides the large house, one would never assume you came from wealth. There was very little name brand stuff. A lot of the decorations were local.

Noticing his curious gaze as you handed the Tupperware to him, you giggled.

“If we see each other again, feel free to ask any questions. We’ve both changed a lot. I hope next time you talk a bit more. I kinda hogged the whole conversation today huh?”

You walked him to the door and waved him goodbye.

He spent the next two hours just re-living that time. Already he missed being in your house. He could already imagine you, him, and Sachiro painting outside or going to the local city for festivals. Despite all the heartbreaking things you told him, all the awful things you thought of yourself, you managed to make a sanctuary. It was always in your nature to find the silver lining in every circumstance. You obviously needed a therapist. But a selfish part of him was glad that he was your confidante. As far as he was concerned, only he knew of how you felt, where you lived, why you did what you did. It was like you were still his.

As soon as he recognized these thoughts, he pulled over. There is no way he can think like that. No that would be unfair to Akemi. He’s already hurt you so much. He pushed you to the point of trauma. He changed you. Even now, the scars of hos he treated you were present. Everything you thought was because he had told you it at one point. No. He couldn’t do all that to Akemi either.

Grabbing the cute Tupperware with the pasta, he almost threw it out.

Instead, he took a second to look at it. It was two big ducks and little baby one. You had used a ribbon to tie some utensils on the top. Everything your hands made had some care and love imbued into it. Opening it, he aggressively ate it all. It was delicious, as expected. While he ate, he started crying. Why? Why did seeing you like that hurt him so much? Why did he use Akemi’s name instead of calling her his fiancé? Why didn’t he hold you as you cried? Why do you use his last name? Why?

He drove home that night. He kissed Akemi before she could even greet him. She immediately melted into the kiss, even if she was still peeved at being ghosted the whole day. He playfully pleaded for her to forgive him. He smiled. He laughed. But for some reason her couldn’t look her in the eyes like he used to. A part of him wished it was you he was holding.

He went to Sachiro’s room. It was messier than usual. He noticed a bunch of crocheted toys he had never seen before. I guess that’s what was in the box. He reached his son, and he stopped to stare at him. Sachiro was holding two things as he slept. The bunny, per usual, but also a note. In big letters Gojo could make out Momma’s Ready! Sachiro was still learning to read, so you hadn’t written much. Still, just seeing those two letters had excited Sachiro so much that he slept with it. On his little tummy laid the phone. Close to dead, Gojo picked it up to charge it. There he saw that Sachiro had been listening to a video you recorded of yourself singing to him. Oh right. Since you had spent the whole evening with Gojo, you couldn’t call Sachiro.

For a reason Gojo couldn’t explain, he sent the video to his own phone. He plugged the phone in and walked out of the room.

Akemi had already headed to their own room. Before Gojo could, he had to organize some stuff.

“Hello, I know its late. I’m just letting you know not to pick up Sachiro tomorrow. I’ll handle the drop off.”

Gojo had to see you. Just for answers. He just wanted you to explain yourself. That’s all

At least that’s what he told himself. But when he slept that night, he dreamt of living in that house with you. He dreamt of cooking breakfast for Sachiro and you. He dreamt of a world where you were his.

#gojo x reader #gojo angst #gojou satoru x reader #oneshot

267 notes · View notes