#but s not as hard n i feel like that somehow invalidates me as a possibly autistic person | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jenonctcity · 4 years

Text

My Responsibility - Epilogue

Differences - Huang Renjun

Part of the Bad Boy Series.

Badboy!Au, Parent!Au

Warnings: Very brief mentions of abortion, minor character death, pregnancy, swearing, mention of injury, mention of sex.

Word Count: 7k

Renjun is 20 years old, and things are going perfect for him for what feels like the first time in eternity. He has a stable relationship with the woman of his dreams, and his baby girl Jiyeon is the most adorable child in the world and he’s so thankful that’s shes well behaved. Of course there was ups and downs, but he was finding them easier to battle against with the support of you behind him. Even if the battles did mostly consist of things like Jiyeon eating an entire bag of gummy bears when Renjun wasn’t looking and then her vomiting them back up less than 10 minutes later, or when Renjun accidentally turned everyone’s laundry pink when he’d put Jiyeon’s red dress in the washing with the whites. Little things like that mattered to him to have a support.

Another thing he loved about having a girlfriend, was the sex. He still had a constant craving to get on top of you and hump you like a dog in heat, and you kindly let him. Which also ended up being the reason you ended up pregnant less than a year into your relationship with him.

“You’re being so grumpy.” He frowned after you pushed him away from you when he tried persistently to get into your panties. You rolled your eyes, frowning back at him and folding your arms over your chest.

“I’m not in the mood to have sex with you, it’s barely 9am and I don’t feel too great.” You mumbled, rolling over in bed and turning your back to him. He stared at you, his facial expression showing how displeased at your attitude he was.

“You haven’t got to be a bitch about it, jeez.” He grumbled and turned his back to you, pulling the duvet up over his shoulder and huffing.

“Fuck you, you’re the reason why I’m grumpy.” You grunted at him, shutting your eyes and trying to ignore him.

“I didn’t even do anything wrong!” He turned around, almost offended that you’re blaming him for your sour mood.

“Tell your superhuman sperm that.” You mumbled, not really thinking that he could hear you, but his ears pricked up and he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“What are you talking about? See I haven’t done anything wrong so you’re attacking my sperm. You’re so petty.” He sat up and pulled on a pair of boxers from his drawer, not wanting to put up with your attitude anymore.

“Because Renjun,” You paused to sit up and look at him with fire in your eyes. “I missed one pill. ONE FUCKING PILL!!! And normally there would be enough of the pill still in my system to prevent anything from happening, but your stupid, superhuman fucking sperm went against the odds and somehow made its journey to its destination.” You couldn’t help but snapping at him, not really wanting this to be how you admitted to him that you were pregnant, but it was too late now. His mouth dropped open and he went sheet white. You quickly laid down again with your back to him, sniffing back your emotions and thinking about all the possible outcomes.

“W-what?” He visibly gulped, his mouth falling open as it completely dawned on him.

“I’m pregnant.” Your words fell on deaf ears, Renjun too in his own head stressing out about the bomb you’d just dropped on him. He stood up, hastily putting on jeans and a t-shirt, not even realising nor caring that the t-shirt he threw on was inside out. He left the room and you sighed, not even realising that he’d left because your back was to the door. “I know you don’t want more kids, and I’m sorry that this happened, but I did warn you that it wasn’t a good idea to not use a condom…Oh now you’re just going to ignore me? And you called me petty.” You sat up with a frown on your face, ready to square up to him about this, but your face fell when you saw he was gone, and the door was left open. “Renjun?” You felt your stomach plummet through to the centre of the earth, just crossing your fingers that he did eventually come back.

Renjun sat in Chenle and Jisung’s living room, a tub of chocolate ice cream on his lap with a thick fluffy blanket wrapped around him, his eyes red with all of the tears that he’d spilt. He was watching a car race on the tv and he kept shovelling spoonful’s of ice cream in his mouth. Chenle and Jisung just sat either side of him, looking concerned but not wanting to ask just in case he started to cry again like he had when Jisung dared to inform him that his t-shirt was inside out. They heard the front door to their apartment rattle, and then Jaemin stepped through the door. He had been notified by Chenle that Renjun was hauled up in their apartment, eating his feelings instead of expressing them.

“You’ll get diabetes if you eat all of that.” Jaemin commented as he crouched down in front of Renjun, very gently pulling the tub of ice cream away from him and being cautious not to unsettle the poor man. “You know you have a girlfriend at home who’s very upset because of your absence.” He speaks very calmly and softly to Renjun. Renjun sighs and runs a hand over his face, feeling ashamed of himself for only thinking of his own feelings. A baby was a joint effort, and he had just as much of a part in making it as you did. He had guilt swimming in the pit of his stomach, knowing that you were probably crushed because he ran out in the way that he did.

“I know.” He mumbles and gulps, looking up at the ceiling and trying not to cry. “I’m having another baby…I’m twenty years old and about to have my second child Jaemin, I didn’t want this…I didn’t even want the first one…(Y/N)’s parents already hate me, they’ll hate me even more now I knocked up their daughter!” He’d never really broken down about his insecurities in being a father, because he’d just gotten on with it, and when he held Jiyeon for the first time he didn’t regret making her at all. He hoped he would feel this way about his unborn child when it came into the world, but he couldn’t be certain yet. He had met your parents not long after you’d started dating. He thought that they hated him, but they actually didn’t mind him, and both of your parents adored Jiyeon. He was just overthinking.

“I know, I’m not going to tell you that your feelings are invalid, I’m just going to tell you that you need to think about (Y/N) right now, and instead of sitting here between these two muppets and crying about it, maybe you should be holding your girlfriend and crying with her. Because she’s currently crying on her own.” Jaemin gave him a tender smile and patted Renjun’s knee. Renjun nodded and stood up, his eyes feeling sore and his stomach making him feel nauseas. He knew that Jaemin was right with everything he said, and he had to make things right before it was too late.

He went back to the apartment alone, Jaemin staying with Chenle and Jisung because he knew that the two of you would want to be alone. He sighed as he enters the apartment, kicking off his shoes and setting his keys down on the kitchen counter. He had a quick glass of water to get his fluids up and to calm his nerves slightly.

“Did you find him Jaems?” You were rubbing your red, watery eyes when you walked into the kitchen, your favourite blanket wrapped around your body much like Renjun had wrapped the blanket around his body when he needed the comfort. You paused when you pulled your hands away from your eyes and saw Renjun instead of Jaemin. “Oh.” You were taken by surprise and you looked at the floor, sniffing back your tears.

“Baby…” He spoke quietly, approaching you and taking your face in his hands. “I’m sorry I ran out on you; I wasn’t thinking about anyone but myself and I was being selfish.” He stroked your cold, wet cheeks, and pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. “If you want to go through with the pregnancy then I’ll stand by you every step of the way, and if you don’t want to go through with it, then I’ll take you to the clinic and hold your hand.” You whimpered in his hold, fresh tears spilling down your cheeks and hitting his thumbs.

“Renjun, do you think we can raise a baby?” You looked up at him through wet eyelashes. He trailed his hands down your face, shoulders, arms, and finally taking your hands in his own. He let out a soft laugh and shrugged.

“Meh, it’s a piece of cake.” You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at that, glancing down at your feet and shaking your head. Renjun had told you plenty of times how hard it was being a parent, and he had her a lot less than her mother did, so you could only imagine how hard it would be to have a baby with you 24/7. “Seriously baby, we can do it. It’s a challenge but it’s doable.” He sounded semi-confident and you bit your bottom lip, pondering over your choices before giving him a nod and staring up at him.

“I hope we have a girl.”

---

Renjun is 21 years old, and he feels like he’s holding the whole world in his hands. But he’s not, he’s holding his newborn daughter in his hands and not caring about the tears rolling down his cheeks. Huang Jihyo. She was a week old and already doing him proud, as she’d just unknowingly flipped him the bird when she was stretching her tiny fingers out. Renjun was so proud of her for her accidental rude gesture that he just burst into tears on the spot, glad no one was around to see him cry.

You were taking a nap, because being a new mother was exhausting, and Renjun offered to watch over Jihyo, mainly because she was asleep and had just been changed and fed, so she had no reason to wake up screaming at him. Since the two of you had found out that you were expecting another baby, you’d moved into your apartment across the hall from the boy’s apartment, just needing a little extra room. But of course Renjun and you still both had a key and you spent a lot of time in their apartment still. The person who was probably most excited about the new baby, was Jiyeon. As soon as you’d both told her that she was going to be a big sister, she had spent at least an hour rambling random things to your stomach as you sat on the couch with her head on your lap. She also liked to gently pat your bump and tell you all about how she was going to share her toys with her new sibling.

Renjun got up gently, holding Jihyo in his arms when there was a knock at the door. He answered the door and smiled widely at his two-year-old daughter stood by her mothers’ legs. He greeted his ex, making small talk and showing off his new baby like the proud father he was, then took Jiyeon’s backpack from her and bid her mother goodbye.

“My sister!” Jiyeon started to jump around by Renjun’s feet, a wide grin on her face and her shoes making loud tapping noises against the wood floor. Renjun stroked the back of her head, brushing down her fluffy hair at the back of her head with a fond smile on his face.

“Yes baby, she’s your little sister. Take your shoes off and you can have a cuddle with her.” He waited patiently whilst Jiyeon dropped onto the floor on her butt, making quick work at unstrapping her velcro shoes from her small feet. Once she was free of her shoes, she ran through to the living room ahead of her father, climbing onto the sofa and sitting comfortably against the cushion. Renjun followed her and sat down beside her, cradling Jihyo and smiling as he watched Jiyeon’s reaction.

“Wow…” Jiyeon whispered in awe, reaching out her hand and very gently stroking at the silky black hair on Jihyo’s head. “She’s cute!” She chirped and kept her eyes on the baby, her big eyes narrowing from how big her smile was.

“Do you want to have a cuddle with her?” Renjun asked in a soft voice.

“Yes please daddy!” She sat back on the sofa as Renjun grabbed a pillow, laying it across Jiyeon’s lap and making sure the pillow was propped up against the arm of the sofa for support.

“Okay, but you have to be very careful and not move too much okay Princess?” He gently laid Jihyo down on the pillow, making sure that one Jiyeon’s arm stayed under the pillow to help support the pillow, and the other arm laying over Jihyo’s legs. He set them like this so that Jiyeon felt like she was cuddling her baby sister.

“Okay!” She giggled as he looked between Jihyo and Renjun. “I love her so much.” She smiled cutely up at her dad, and Renjun felt the tears welling up in his eyes again as he looked at his two babies who he loved more than anything in the world. He couldn’t help but pull out his phone and snap a quick picture of them together, immediately setting it as his background.

“She loves you too, you’re going to be best friends as well as sisters, and you have to promise daddy to always be there when she needs you and to share your toys with her. But you also have to promise daddy never to gang up on him with her okay?” He added the last part purely so he could throw it back in her face in 10 years’ time if the two of them ganged up on him. She nodded eagerly and let out a cute laugh.

“I promise daddy.”

“Good girl.” He leaned in and gave her a tender kiss on her forehead, not regretting any of his choices in life as he watched his first baby lean down and give his last baby a kiss on her smooth cheek.

It was 6 months later when Minjun was born. When you’d asked Renjun if he was jealous that Jeno had a son when he didn’t, he quickly denied it. However that was a lie. Of course he was jealous! He was stuck with not one, but two daughters. And Jeno had a boy on his first attempt at making a life. It wasn’t that Renjun didn’t love his daughters to death because he did. But he loved the idea of a mini Renjun running around his feet. However he wasn’t planning to have any more kids, so he kissed the idea of a mini Renjun goodbye and laid that dream to rest. It was probably for the best that he didn’t have a mini Renjun, as big Renjun was, in your words, ‘a nightmare’.

You cooed down at the teeny tiny baby boy in your arms, his miniscule hand in between your thumb and your finger as you gazed at him under Jeno’s watchful eye. Everyone could already tell that Jeno was a complete papa bear with his son, and you thought it was adorable. Minjun was a lot smaller than Jihyo was at birth, because she was born late and was quite chunky, but Minjun was born early and had hardly any baby fat on him.

“You’re going to be such a handsome boy Minjunnie!” You cooed at him, glancing at Renjun who sat beside you with 6-month-old Jihyo nestled in his arms. You looked between the babies and then smiled widely. “You’re going to marry our Jihyo so that me and your mummy can be related!” If you could have taken a picture of the look of disgust and horrification on Renjun and Jeno’s faces, you’d have taken it in a heartbeat.

“I think the fuck not.” Renjun spluttered out in shock, giving you a scowl and visibly shudder. “I don’t want to be related to Jeno!”

“Fuck you, I don’t want to be related to you either.” Jeno frowned at him. You scoffed a laugh.

“Why? You’re best friends!” You couldn’t understand their logic, but you were used to things like this, so it didn’t come as a complete shock to you.

“Because we’re best friends and it’s weird to have our kids be together.” Jeno answered for Renjun, who nodded along in agreement. You had a feeling that the two of them had discussed this prior to you bringing it up. But you didn’t ask, just rolling your eyes and letting the subject go.

It was a week later than Renjun found out about Jaemin’s engagement to his girlfriend. He was shocked to say the least. He couldn’t quite believe that Jaemin had grown the balls and asked his girlfriend to marry him before he had plucked up the courage to ask you. But at the same time, he was excited for his best friend. He knew how much his girlfriend meant to him and how much Jaemin had been longing to get married and start a family. But he didn’t like what Jaemin’s decision was doing to his own impulse decisions.

“Jiyeonie, Uncle Jaemin is getting married.” He decided to break the news to her whilst she was clutching at his hand, toddling alongside him in the middle of the city. She had on a little backpack that Renjun had just bought for her, the tags still attached to the zipper, and she was wearing a new pair of light up shoes, her eyes constantly looked down towards the ground as the flashing amused her. Renjun loved to buy her new things, and whenever she asked him if she could wear the new things before they left the shop, the answer was always a yes. Her old shoes had been shoved into her new backpack just so that the toddler felt like she had a purpose for wearing her backpack.

“To a princess?” She glanced up from her flashing shoes and squinted under the sun as she stared up at her father with a curious expression on her face.

“To his princess!” Renjun smiled with twinkles in his eyes down at his daughter. When he glanced up, he noticed a jewellery store, and an impulsive decision crossed his mind that he couldn’t just seem to shake away. “Should daddy marry princess (Y/N)?” He wondered what the two-year-old would say, knowing she was getting really good with her words and at expressing her thoughts. Renjun had taught her

“Nope.” Jiyeon shook her head and went back to staring at her shoes, giving her foot a hard stomp on the floor once they stopped flashing. Renjun frowned and tilted his head, wondering why she wouldn’t want you and him to get married. She seemed to absolutely adore you, and when she’d found out what marriage was not too long ago when watching a Disney film, she’d immediately turned to you and asked you if you were married to her daddy. She seemed terribly upset when she found out that you weren’t married and had no plans to marry each other, so this came as a surprise to the young father.

“Why not?” He stopped walking, placing his hands underneath her armpits, and hoisting her up into his hold, sitting her on his hip and cuddling her close.

“Because you can’t marry a princess daddy, you’re not a prince.” Renjun’s face fell into a deadpanned expression. Clearly, she was still confused about this marriage situation, not only that, she just lowkey hurt her father’s feelings.

“You’re spending too much time with your Uncle Haechan.” He mumbled and then stopped as he got in front of the jewellery store. “You know, you haven’t got to be a prince to marry a princess, so do you think daddy should marry (Y/N)?” He asked again after giving her a little bit of persuasion. He wanted her to say yes, because if she continued to say no, he would definitely wait a little while longer until she said yes. Although she was only a toddler, he believed that his daughters opinions mattered, and he would never do something to upset her.

She pursed her lips as she thought it over, before shrugging and giving him a huge grin. “Yes!”

Renjun purchased an engagement ring, and he told Jiyeon not to say a word to anyone about it, but she was so excited, that when they got back to the apartment and Renjun took Jihyo to have a diaper change, she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

She told you that her daddy had bought a ring and told you to keep it a secret. Clearly, she had gotten her wires crossed, and hadn’t realised that you were the one person who shouldn’t find out about the ring. But you kept her secret and waited patiently for a proposal.

---

Renjun is 22 years old, and he feels the most horrid feeling in the pit of his stomach as he hangs up the phone call. A haze of disbelief, shock, and heartbreak float around his mind as he numbly walks into the bedroom where you sat, aimlessly staring at your phone, none the wiser to the news Renjun had just been lumbered with. Renjun took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself as he sat down beside you on the edge of the bed.

“Baby, I have something to tell you.” He laid his hand on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze as he smiled softly at you. You furrowed your eyebrows, concern rushing through you as you took in his body language and facial expression.

“What’s going on?” You asked curiously, already adapting your own tone and mood to fit with his. He let out a soft sigh and rubbed his thumb against your leg as he broke the news to your that Jaemin’s fiancée had passed away after the two of them had gotten into a car accident. You felt your stomach drop through the floor, and tears blurred your vision almost immediately. He gave you more details about the accident, and included that she was brain dead, her body only kept alive by machines until Jaemin woke from his coma to give the doctors permission to take her off of life support. You felt your heart break. Not particularly for yourself, but for Jaemin, and her family. You knew how much she meant to Jaemin, and your sobbed harder after Renjun told you that they had gotten married in secret just before the accident. You couldn’t comprehend how the world was such a cruel place to take someone away from someone else on their wedding day.

Renjun held you to his chest as you cried, his hand rubbing up and down your back as a silent tear rolled down his cheek. He didn’t cry easily but seeing you in pieces over the loss of your close friend really affected him. He also put himself in Jaemin’s shoes and thought about how hard it would be on him if he lost you, or one of his daughters, and his heart broke even more for Jaemin. He was so close with the boys and their partners. They were the people that he considered his family and losing a member of the family was never easy on anyone.

Now all you and Renjun had to do was mourn for the loss of your family member and wait for Jaemin to wake up.

The funeral was tough on everyone.

You had made sure that morning to give Jihyo and extra kiss as you left her with your parents. Renjun had made the decision not to allow Jiyeon to go to the funeral, as she still didn’t fully understand what was happening and he didn’t want her to be around all of the emotional adults, knowing it was be distressing for her.

The two of you were child free as you entered your apartment. It was eerily silent but brought you a feeling of relief and peacefulness. You had found it hard to cope with the loss of your friend whilst parenting a baby, because you were so focused on Jihyo that you barely found the time to deal with your own feelings.

Renjun could see that your eyes were filling up with tears as you kicked your heels off and shrugged your coat off, just letting it all to the floor as you walked into the living room. Renjun sighed, picking up your coat and hanging it on the coat peg, before riding himself of his own coat and placing his shoes beside yours.

“Baby?” He called out as he followed you to the living room. You were sat on the sofa, staring at the turned off screen of the television with a blank gaze. He gave you a look of concern, his eyebrows pulling together and a muted smile on his lips. Sitting himself next to you, he pulled you close to him, giving you a tight hug and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Are you okay?” You took a deep breath and simply nodded. “You can cry. I know that you’re holding it back (Y/N).” He held your head against his chest, stroking your cheek with his thumb and holding you tighter against himself when he felt a tear hit his thumb.

“It’s not fair.” You let out a sob, your chest convulsing as you whimpered in the arms of your love. “They were so in love Renjun! They had just gotten married and then she dies because of some fucking idiot in a car!” You relaxed in his hold, finding his touch comforting to you.

“I know honey.” He spoke gently, his lips once against pressing to your forehead. You cried in his arms for another five minutes, before you gulped down the lump in your throat and pulled away from Renjun’s chest. You looked him in the eyes and leaned forward, giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

“I want another baby.” Renjun’s body stiffened and his eyes widened in shock.

“No.” He straight up shot you down, shaking his head fast from his dedication to his answer. You frowned and tilted your head, hurt that he just shot you down so fast without even considering it.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re just taking with your emotions! You’re upset that they didn’t have a baby before she died so you’re trying to make up for your guilt by having another baby!” Renjun had hit the nail right on the head. You did feel guilty, and your emotions and hormones were flying around so much that you were convinced you wanted another baby. But in that moment, you didn’t see it that way.

“You don’t even want another baby with me! Just admit it!” You started to cry again, and you stood up, staring at Renjun with a frown on your face. “You’re probably going to get bored of me and leave me anyway a-and then have a baby with another woman in a few months’ time!” Renjun rolled his eyes and he let out a sigh, deciding just to let you vent at him. He knew that you were too overcome by your emotions that you weren’t thinking straight, so he didn’t blame you. “You don’t even love me! You bought an engagement ring ages ago, but you still haven’t proposed to me!” Renjun’s eyes nearly popped out of his head from how shocked he was.

“How did you know that I bought a ring?” He squeaked out, sitting up and feeling his heart pounding in his chest.

“Jiyeon told me.” You muttered and started to calm down, crossing your arms across your chest and crying silently. Renjun groaned and sighed. He stood up and hurried to pull you into an embrace.

“Listen, I didn’t propose to you because Jaemin had just proposed to his girlfriend and I didn’t want to steal the limelight from him. Then his wife died, and I can’t propose to you for a while now because that’s insensitive. I love you so fucking much, and it hurts me that you would think otherwise. I want to marry you, I do. Just give it some time.” He took your face in his hands and tilted your face to look at his. “I…I don’t know if I’m ever going to want another baby. I may change my mind one day, but we’ve only just had Jihyo. I’m 22 years old and I have two kids, this is a lot for someone my age. Most men my age aren’t doing what I’m doing, this is a big struggle for me. I hope you understand.” He placed a soft kiss to your lips and sighed gently. “I love you.”

You felt awful for everything you’d said in your mini meltdown. You were so thankful that Renjun had his head screwed on properly and had enough common sense for the both of you in that moment. “I’m so sorry, I love you too.” You rested your face in the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms around his middle and squeezing him tightly.

Renjun smiled softly, holding you tight against him as he processed his thoughts, relieved he didn’t get sucked into having another baby.

---

Renjun is 25 years old, and the wedding ring sits heavy on his ring fingers almost heavier than the newborn baby boy in his arms. Huang Jinhyung had been born a week ago, a day before your first wedding anniversary. Obviously because of the arrival of your baby, neither of you had been able to celebrate your first anniversary, but neither of you minded. Jinhyung was the best present you could have received. He was tiny, as he was born a few weeks early, but he was healthy and had a head full of black hair. Renjun was absolutely enamoured by his son, and even though he would have been just as happy to have had a baby girl, he finally had the son he had been wanting since he found out his ex was pregnant with Jiyeon. Jinhyung had been planned. After you got married, Renjun had told you that he wanted another baby much to your surprise. It didn’t take long for you to get pregnant at all, but that wasn’t a surprise to you as you knew Renjun had supersonic sperm. Another thing significant that had happened after your wedding, was Renjun gave up his life of crime. He got a normal 9-5 job working at Haechan’s uncles’ garage, fixing up cars and legally selling them. He was lucky enough to be given flexible work hours too, so he could equally spread his time between his job and his family. Money wasn’t a big issue for you though, as you had a part time job working at the local bank every Thursday and Friday when Renjun wasn’t at work, and Renjun had saved up a lot of money during his days of illegal activity.

“I know I’ve said this before but, this is the last baby.” Renjun broke the silence between you both as you watched the tv with Jihyo sat in between you both. Jiyeon was at her mothers but she had already met Jinhyung and had fallen in love with him, over the moon to have a baby brother. Jihyo was also excited about having a baby brother, and Renjun had caught her stroking his hair and putting her teddy bears on him when he was asleep in his crib.

“I’m happy with three.” You smiled at him, adoring the way he was with his son. You saw Jiyeon as your own daughter, and always referred to her as your own when speaking about her to other people.

“I mean it this time. I am declaring Jinhyung as my last spawn.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, rolling your eyes and nodding your head.

“Okay, he can be our last.”

“I never even thought I’d have one child, and now I have three. Sometimes I’m just stunned at how my life turned out, but…like…” He struggled to put into words the thoughts that were going through his head. “In a good way kind of stunned you know?” He raised an eyebrow, unsure if his words made sense to you because they didn’t make much sense to himself. You giggled and bit your bottom lip, nodding slowly as you knew exactly what Renjun was babbling on about. He often expressed his love for how his life turned out in the smallest of ways, but it all added up to you, making a big picture that you could stare at all day long. It was in the little glances you saw him making at his daughters as they built lego castles, and in the way he’d gasp in surprise whenever Jihyo presented him with an messy picture she’d drawn, like it was the most amazing piece of artwork he’d ever seen. He was an amazing father, even if he didn’t see it all the time, but you were used to Renjun self-deprecation.

You just wished that he could see the man that you saw whenever you looked at him.

---

Renjun is 29 years old. He felt like he was going through a midlife crisis, and he’d been spouting about how old he felt. All because his first-born baby had turned 10 years old. Jiyeon had grown up to be a smart, funny, caring, and witty girl. She never failed to make Renjun proud whenever she’d presented him with a certificate she’d achieved at school for her excellent work or for her caring personality. He was a proud father. Not that his other kids weren’t smart, but Jihyo had a tendency to tell lies or blame things on her brother. Like the time she’d spilt her juice on the new white carpet and had blamed it on Jinhyung. It was a week later that the truth came out and Renjun had to be the bad guy and take her Nintendo switch away from her for a week as a punishment. Renjun didn’t have a problem with Jinhyung, he was a little prince. But he did wish that he’d stop wetting the bed so much. Baby steps.

“Dad…” Renjun looked up from his phone, in the middle of texting Haechan about their weekend plans, to see Jiyeon standing in front of him. Her hands behind her back and a small smile playing on her lips.

“Yes honey?” He immediately put his phone down, giving her his full attention. She took a deep breath and hesitated. It took her another five seconds to pluck up the courage before she spoke.

“Can I live with you?” Her voice came out fast, with a slight waver to her tone from the nerves she felt flooding through her system. It wasn’t a big deal, but she was so desperate for him to say yes, that she felt an unfamiliar bubble of worry in her stomach. Renjun’s eyebrows furrowed, and he sat forward, setting his arms on his legs as he studied her.

“Why do you want to live here honey?” He reached a hand-out, taking hers in his own. His tattooed hand would look big and intimidating to most 10-year-olds, but the little girl stood in front of him trusted him with her whole life.

“Because I want to be with my family more.” Her words didn’t sit right with Renjun. It made him wonder why she didn’t consider her mother and stepfather as her family. Maybe he was reading too much into this, but he knew he had to dig deeper and find out the reason.

“Hmm…” He gave her a weak smile as he went over his thoughts in his head. “Why don’t you want to continue living at your mums though? Did something happen?” At Renjun’s question Jiyeon’s face turned into one of surprise, and she quickly shook her head.

“No! I just don’t have any siblings at mums, and I get super bored because she works a lot.” She shrugged and moved to sit beside her father. Renjun pursed his lips, weighing up his options. He came to a conclusion and gave her a sad smile.

“Mummy would miss you a lot though, how about I speak with her and arrange it so that you can stay here for a bit longer when it’s my turn to have you? You’re only 10 princess.” At this her face fell a little, but she quickly faked a smile and nodded in understanding. Renjun made another decision quickly and spoke before he’d had any time to really think it over. “How about when you turn 13, if you still want to live her permanently then you can okay? No questions asked, you can just move in and see your mum when you want. Deal?” He smiled as he looked down at his child, her face slowly lighting up at her father’s proposal. She stuck her hand out to him with a grin on her face.

“Deal.” He glanced down at her small hand, and with a chuckle he took her hand in his own, shaking it gently.

---

Renjun is 32 years old. And he never wanted to experience this. He’d always hoped that when the time came, you’d be around, or Jiyeon would be at her mothers. But there he sat, on the sofa with Jiyeon curled up against his side, tear tracks down her cheeks and a hot water bottle huddled against her stomach. Yes, she’d started her period. And now that Jiyeon officially lived under Renjun’s roof, he had to be the one to deal with it. He was stroking her hair, twirling the dark strands around his finger and hoping he did the right thing by providing her with her with the right products, and by making her a hot water bottle to try and soothe the burning ache of pains she was feeling. On his other side, cuddled up to him just like his sister, was Jinhyung. His left arm was in a cast, due to how he’d thrown himself down the stairs, trying to imitate how buzz lightyear tried to fly in toy story. Renjun was scared, because his son was showing a lot of signs of having his own personality. Jinhyung was 7 years old, and already a mini Renjun. Of course, Jihyo had egged him on. Why wouldn’t she? She thought it was hilarious watching her little brother yeet himself down the staircase after shouting ‘to infinity and beyond’.

That was a week ago, and Jinhyung was thriving, because you were treating him like he had a life-threatening injury. Constantly bringing him snacks, letting him have soda more than once a day, and giving him all the cuddles he could possibly want. Which you were grateful for, as you knew most boys stopped being cuddly with their mothers after they hit their teen years, so you were happily cashing in on your son’s clinginess. Jihyo still sniggered when she thought about the incident, and Renjun couldn’t help but laugh along with her instead of scolding her. Which often lead to you scolding him, but he struggled to contain his laughter when his mischievous daughter was laughing.

Jihyo was sat on the floor in front of them, drawing a picture of a flower in beautiful detail. She loved art, and when she’d told her father about her newfound hobby, he’d immediately taken her to the nearest arts and crafts store to buy her all the supplies she needed to feed her newfound skill.

Renjun couldn’t lie. He loved the peace and quiet of the room as they watched the third Jurassic park film, all the kids’ content and calm. But in typical fashion, it was Jihyo who interrupted the silence.

“Mums home!” She had heard your car pull up in the driveway, and she turned her head to the door as you quietly entered. You kicked your shoes off and smiled as you walked into the room, seeing your husband and babies all snuggled up and calm. Renjun turned his head to the door and gave you a beaming smile.

“Hey baby.” He greeted, gently removing his arms from around Jiyeon and Jinhyung so that he could push himself off the sofa. He walked over to you, taking your hand in his own and gently guiding you to the kitchen, out of earshot of the children.

“What’s up Renjunnie?” You shrugged your coat off, laying it on the chair of the dining table and giving Renjun a soft smile. He loved that even after all these years, you still called him Renjunnie, the little butterflies in his stomach always flapped their wings at the sound of the nickname.

“Jiyeon started her period. I gave her one of your pads and a hot water bottle…did I do it right?” The look of concern on his face made your heart melt, and a small giggle to leave your mouth. You nodded quickly to ease his worries, leading him to let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god, I didn’t know what to do so I googled it but I was kind of in a hurry so I didn’t read it properly and-“ You cut off his babbling by connecting your lips with his own. He visibly relaxed, his eyes drifting to a close and his hands finding purchase on your hips. A kiss form you could always relieve his stress, and it was working wonders for him now.

“You did great.” You whispered against his lips after you drew them back a few centimetres from his own.

“Thank you.” He took your compliment and wore it like an invisible badge on his chest, a big smile taking over his lips.

“I love you.” Your words echoed in his head, sending a thrill of excitement through his body, and making his heart rate speed up.

“I love you too.” He smiled as he kissed you, the curve of his lips pressed to yours made you also break out into a smile.

“Oh! I have something to tell you! I-”

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” His face was one of concern as he cut you off. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and shook your head.

“No! I got a coupon for money off pizza…”

Renjun sighed in relief.

---

Well, this is it for Renjun’s story. I hope you enjoyed it and I want to thank you so much if you made it this far! I appreciate every single one of you. ❤

762 notes · View notes

choiwrites · 4 years

Text

pjm | high school sweethearts (m.)

Words: 18.4k Genres: high school!au, f2l, never been kissed!au, a lil bit of 2000's movie angst :) Warnings: defloration, fingering, dry humping, a smidge of dirty talk, oral (f&m), teenagers being hormonal what else would this be :( Rating: 18+ Playlist: ♡

Summary: You are not one to believe in high school romance nor any kind of romance at all. Your world is turned upside down when you had to write about falling in love in high school. Having no experience, good thing your best pal Jimin came to the rescue. He's about to show you what falling in love is like through his broken perspective after his girlfriend just broke up with him.

The school cafeteria stretches before you. Chattering getting louder every second as more students join in the next table, your eyes peered at Yoongi, the President of the School Publication, who had just told you the feature's deadline. You were killing him inside your mind, butchering his insides, God you just want him to get kicked out of the school.

Exams are in a week and you did little to no effort in prepping for it, it was driving you nuts. But the cafeteria's coleslaw drove you even madder, its stupid taste lingered in your mouth even after you just took another chug of your second box of milk. You made a note to yourself to never get coleslaw ever again, no matter how convincing Jungkook's smiles were, though there's no denying that the lunch lady's son has somehow crept into your heart.

"Candid!" Jimin appears behind you, his camera flashing your eyes when he takes a candid shot of your face. You slap him on the shoulder before he could sit down beside you. "Do you have a crush on Yoongi?" His eyes scan the unfinished coleslaw on your table, his smile turning into pure disgust.

"What? No! He's just ruining my week," you reply after releasing a huff.

You tear your gaze away from Yoongi before his laughing figure would notice. Jimin giggles at the picture he had just taken. If Jimin didn't have a hundred pictures of your unreserved face, maybe you would have cared. Still, your eyes burned at the sight of your face in his camera.

"What made you sit with me today?" you ask, your eyes not traveling to his face but rather focused on everywhere else except for him and Yoongi.

His breathing was a little ragged, but enough to make your ears notice. He was breathing through his mouth, you could tell. You were that observant of Jimin. Your hand picks up the tiny box of milk, taking another sip from it while you wait for Jimin's answer. He was busy on his camera, then you heard a sniff.

"Seulgi broke up with me," he sniffs again, then he laughs in a croaky way. His voice was usually high, like an optimistic kind. Hearing Jimin's voice always sent you a jolt of happiness, hearing his voice crack made your knees wobble.

You were positive they'll get back together again like the other high school couples, it's their routine that you've gotten used to. It would only take a week before you see them smooching in the locker room again, or maybe eating each other's face in front of you. You wait for an explanation before you could ask, giving him silence so he could proceed with his sentiment.

"She was tired of me. She couldn't see a future with me," he began and forced a small snicker, one you could immediately tell was fake. "I was going to follow her to college. Good thing, I haven't."

You admit, your heart recedes at his tone. Though you've never received such words yourself, being told you're tiring would sure tear anyone's heart apart. And wanting a future with someone with no reciprocation sounded mean. You couldn't search for the right words on how hurt he looked beneath those eyes, you weren't one to have experience in any of the pain he's going through.

You place a hand on his back, a shaky motion vibrated against your palm. You could feel how hard he was trying to suppress all the tears inside him, he was afraid you would laugh. You pat him softly on his cotton jacket, scared to make the situation worse by saying the wrong thing. He took your silence as comfort, needing no words from you to make him feel better. He sniffs again.

"What was she tired of?" Jimin knew that asking you wouldn't bring actual answers, he needed those from Seulgi. But it was you beside him, not Seulgi, so he confides. "It can't be my dick," he laughs, which you returned.

"How sure are you?" Your forehead wrinkled as your brows knot together, a grin forming on your lips.

"A hundred percent, solid. It's probably my snoring, isn't it?" His stare leaves the camera, which had shut down moments ago, taking the courage to look at you who never looked more concern through the small smile you were showing.

"I've never heard you snore, but yeah. I guess so. I don't really follow the relationship you both have."

"Had," he corrects, and then released a nasal huff.

Through his burning face, he was still perfect in every way. His hair lays flat on top of his head, parted in the middle. His bottom lip bitten. His nose scrunches trying to sniff, then he brings the back of his hand to cover the lower part of his face. Your lips curved when he laughed at himself.

"Can we go? I just... I feel like she's on the way here and I don't really want to see her laugh with her friends," he said, nose blocking him from speaking properly.

Seulgi stands by the entrance, searching the cafeteria and when she spots Jimin, she pulls her friend to the counter. This didn't go unnoticed by Jimin, he pulls you harshly out of panic. You've never seen him so frustrated, it was funny.

"Dude, Jimin, what the fuck?" Your bag was open and as he tried to pull you away, your notes dropped on the floor, revealing all your drafts for the feature.

Jimin squats on the floor, examining your written works. The panic passes onto you, his face turned into a frown.

What could he have read?

"Jesus christ y/n, who broke your heart? These are so pessimistic," his hand ravishes on the crumpled paper, reading essays of a hundred words. You somehow regret not throwing those in the trash the moment you finished them.

"Can I just-" He stops your hand from reaching the papers, stretching his other hand away from you.

"This is not what 'falling in love in high school' is like! You're not following the topic given!" he yells, but a glint of happiness spreads across his face. He finds some sort of amusement from your reaction.

"You don't get it, Jimin. You only have to take pictures of couples, I have to write about them! It's not as easy as you think!"

Jimin was also a part of the school publication. He was mostly praised for his average photos, you've told him many times how they're not at all impressive. But he was a popular and good-looking student, everything he does will be adored by many. As opposed to you, who have only written one successful work throughout four years of being in the same page with him. High school will always be that way.

"Whatever. Your works won't make it to the paper if you keep them this way," he says with a stronger voice, a restrain on his throat from earlier brushing away.

"Can you just give them to me?" You reach for his other hand, but his hand on your shoulder kept you away from him. His strong scent burns your nose, but you didn't care even if you felt how hot his skin was. You only pushed yourself further, desperate to get the drafts.

"No, no," he clicks his tongue, "gotta tell me who's this ex of yours first." He waved his eyebrows and your shoulders slumped.

"I don't have an ex-boyfriend. There, you happy?" you declare under a small tone.

He inches his face to yours, and you pulled away when you felt him breathe against your lips. "No shit, y/n. Why the pessimism then?" He was trying to get a rise out of you and you are almost giving in. He reads them again but this time you give up, you couldn't stand his perfume any longer.

"I hate highschool couples. They act like everything is about relationships, even going to college together. Ew." You raise a brow, cocking your head towards him as you cross your arms on your chest.

"Fuck off. You just don't get it." He folds the torn pieces of paper, placing them in his pockets.

"Hey, give that to me!" You try to reach again, but he got a hold of your hand and you soften.

"They suck. I don't want Yoongi to read them, he'll probably judge the shit out of you."

"Why do you care? I take criticism."

"Yeah, and you're gonna get it from me," he says without a lot of consideration. So much of smiling caused his face to lose its puffiness, eyes losing a little bit of their shine.

"I don't need a photographer judging my work. Give them back!"

"Shush." He waves his index finger in front of your face.

You slap his hand away, thinning your lips and giving in to whatever Jimin was trying to do. "What are you gonna do with them?"

"I'll change them," he tilts his head before grabbing you to exit the cafeteria, the hallway rolls before the both of your feet and Jimin only puts his arm around you, "because that's what good friends do."

"For your entertainment, fine. Change it however you'd like, hell you can even put Seulgi's name as the title, I don't care. My idea of high school romance will remain the same!"

"I love Seulgi, alright? It's true, I felt it. Just because we are young doesn't mean our emotions are invalid."

"That's not my point, Jimin. All I'm trying to say is there's not a single record of relationships making it out of high school. It ends in high school and that's it."

His grip on your shoulder loosens and he turns to face you, your eyes remained on the walk ahead. Again, the smell of his perfume irritates your nose, you breathe shortly to avoid it.

"My parents met in highschool, you know that," he argues.

"But their relationship didn't start in highschool, you also know that."

He releases a breath of defeat, but he continued with his debate. "Regardless, high school romance is real. You've never had a crush before?"

"I've had crushes, Jimin. But they're crushes, nothing ever led to 'love'," your tone curved by the end of your sentence, hating the word.

Jimin was aware of your crushing habit, and he knew about each of them. Jungkook from the cafeteria, Seokjin who used to be a senior in the school, and Mr. Kim Namjoon of Biology class. He never missed a single one, but there's one you've never admitted to Jimin. Which was your tiny feelings for him. But you find no use of telling him since it only lasted a month, then he became this jackass friend of yours and you never wished for it change. He has been an amazing friend and everything was platonic between the both of you, he was the only boy you could look in the eyes without feeling insecure.

"Infatuation is the start of everything, dumbass."

"I don't want any of it," you reply and Jimin takes a hold of your arm when you tried to enter your class.

"Wait, I have a proposal." Your hand holds a strap of your bag, slouching in front of him. You turn to him again, brows rising to let him continue.

He takes a few moments before talking again, his adam's apple bobbed slowly as he takes the courage. Your eyes narrowed at his figure, trying to analyze his thoughts faster than he could. Jimin can get unpredictable sometimes, a kind you can't read. It's unfair he could read you like a book, a book he knows all too well.

"What if I make you fall in love?"

Your eyes widen, pulling away from him harshly, just enough to make him feel your rejection to his proposal. He can't be serious, and he can't be this horrible to use you as a rebound for Seulgi.

You as a pawn? No way!

You're not letting Jimin make your last year of high school dramatic with Seulgi's friends judging you by the hallway when you walk past them with Jimin's hand in your back pocket. No, that's not gonna happen.

"Are you insane? What's wro-"

"No, not with me. I phrased it wrong. I meant what if I make you feel like falling in love. You can't just keep denying emotions all through out highschool."

You weren't denying anything. You have a belief, a belief that no relationship in highschool ever lasts.

"Why do you want to prove me wrong so bad? Can't you just let me be?" your tone loomed over him. Anger took over your voice when you didn't mean it, so you looked at him in a stern way to let him know you weren't mad, just confused.

"I want you to know that I am in love with Seulgi. And your opinion is wrong, people fall in love during highschool."

"Jimin, I get it! You're in love with Seulgi, I don't care. Blah blah blah, love is relevant for you. Now get over it."

Both of you were standing before the door to Biology class, it looked stupid. Your classmates are starting to look at you funny, gossiping before entering the room behind you. You take your attention away from it and focused on Jimin's argument and hand which was still wrapped around your arm, he doesn't seem to notice how sweaty his palms are.

"No, you obviously don't get it. You're taking my emotion as a joke."

Why was he getting so worked up with my statement?

"Fine," you surrender. "What is falling in love like?"

Mr. Kim — or Mr. Joonie as you like to call him, appears behind Jimin, his height hovering over your friend. He nods at you and says "You have five minutes" before entering the almost rowdy class. You catch your favorite musky smell when he made his way behind you.

"I'll come by" was Jimin's last response before he vanished from the empty hallway, your mind not comprehending his reply.

Come by what? Where?

Whatever it was, you tried to pushed it to the back of your mind and failed. Biology was interesting, Mr. Joonie was wearing your favorite black and blue striped tie paired with his thin white long sleeves shirt. He discussed further about DNA base pairs which you fell behind on when your brain decides to bring back Jimin's last words.

You tried to bring your ears on Mr. Joonie's lesson, but your mind could only pull away. Screw Jimin for ruining this class for you, distraction was the last thing you needed this month and here comes your infatuated friend to fuck everything up. But it wasn't his idea that made you think, it's your reaction to his idea that caught your attention. You were too defensive earlier, but you guessed it's the right thing to do. However, you can only overthink.

Jimin's proposal was garbage, in what way would it possibly help you?

Falling in love? That's overrated, your mind is set for your one and only goal and that is graduating from this hellhole of hormonal teenagers seeking for love.

Jeez, you sounded like an old lady, but you know it's the truth. Falling in love leads to nothing but a disaster and worst case scenario: baby, which is not part of the high school bucket list you've made for your graduating year. Thanks to your hormones, they weren't as wild as the other teens.

Biology was quicker than you expected. Well, you spent the whole time looking out the window and wondering what the fuck Jimin meant. Lucky for you, Mr. Joonie never paid attention to you to even notice you weren't paying attention to him.

When you finished your Spanish class — your last period, you never caught Jimin in the hallway. Which you wouldn't have expected from what he had said, but you were only left disappointed. You guessed he went after Seulgi to give her the talk. You head home quickly, preparing to study the whole night. You cringe at the idea, already missing the feeling of the living room's sofa while binge-watching 80's sci-fi movies.

He probably forgot already, you tell yourself while flipping through the dull pages of your notebook. A tinge of small dismay tugs at your stomach, you shouldn't have expected too much from a friend like him. You left the thought as you push the first paragraph of your reviewer into your mind, it was ineffective. You only longed for something else, maybe it was food.

You leave your cold room, tiptoeing towards the kitchen downstairs. Your tummy jumps when you saw the cookie jar full. A neon green sticky note beside it reads "clean the house. - mom <3"

You roll your eyes, ignoring the note and opening the glass of sweets. The doorbell rings before your fingers could make contact with the cookies, annoyance builds inside you.

I swear, if this isn't the dress I ordered online. Your pj's drag along the floor as you reach for the door, and a sweaty Jimin stands in front of you. You close your eyes out of embarrassment, regretting that you didn't check the peephole first. You stand in your loose black shirt that barely hangs on your left shoulder, revealing the strap of your bra.

"Wow, you look awful," Jimin narrows his eyes, meticulously scanning your appearance. Your bra strap was only a part of your horrible get up.

"What the hell are you doing here?" you assert, pulling the sleeve of your shirt to cover your exposed skin.

"I said I'd come by remember?" Oh, that's what he meant. "Sorry, I took long. Taehyung called for a meeting for the Curious Minds Club."

Of course, the Curious Minds Club, possibly the worst name for a science club. Jimin loved that name so much, he would always mention it in its entirety. It was his and Taehyung's idea, which you opposed when he asked for your opinion. He reasoned that you never cared about science anyway so you had no right to oppose him, which was stupid 'cause he asked for an opinion in the first place.

"You know what, it's a good thing you and Taehyung are graduating this year so juniors could rename that stupid club."

He walks past you and throws his bag on the floor before laying on the couch, not needing an invitation from you. "Why do you always have to hate my ideas? Just agree for once, Curious Minds is a legendary name."

You shut the door, heading back to the kitchen and finally getting your hands on the cookies. You moan in satisfaction, its taste exploding on your tongue. Jimin spins his head to you.

"Did your Mom make those?"

You nod, bringing the whole jar to him.You let the couch eat you, completely forgetting the reviewer waiting for you in your room. Jimin takes a bite and you absorbed his reaction, similar to yours.

"What are you gonna tell me?" you start.

Jimin's face lit up. "Right, almost forgot about that."

You sat a foot away from him, keeping distance from his nauseating perfume. Your legs cross in front of you, Jimin's arm spreads on top of the sofa right above you.

"So, you've never been in a relationship, right?" Not this again.

You nod, taking another soft cookie.

"I read your drafts during English class, and I gotta say y/n," you stare at him in anticipation, "you suck."

"You're gonna come over to my house, eat my Mom's cookies, and then roast me?! Fuck you, Jimin."

He laughs. "I'm kidding. You filled that paper with passion of hatred towards highschool couples, I started hating them as well," he explains.

"You're one of those couples, dummy. I actually took inspiration from you and Seulgi."

"I thought you don't follow our relationship?" he asks, his head cocking to your direction.

"I heard enough from you throughout the course of six months. Seulgi this, Seulgi that. Seulgi's being complicated, Seulgi's so cute when she burps. Seulgi's being too friendly with Taeyong, oh nevermind, Seulgi just said she loves me," you imitate his irritating ranting from the past, which you wish you would never receive anymore. Expecting an exasperated expression, you were surprised to see Jimin smiling at you.

"I thought you weren't listening all those times."

"Sadly, I was and I shouldn't have."

"The Taeyong part is still true, though," he extends the cookie he was holding forward, trying to pinpoint, "I saw them before dismissal."

"Look at you, all sad and sentimental. Cute li'l Jimin stalking his ex-girlfriend. Awe, how tragic," you vexed, pouting at the obviously annoyed boy.

"I wasn't stalking. I just saw them."

"Poor guy getting his heart broken in the hallway, poor Chimchim. How is he gonna move on now?"

"Quit it," sneered Jimin, indulging on his cookie.

He was still affected, it happened only a few hours ago, he won't be moving on too quickly. Seulgi's laugh is still fresh in his memory, and he could hear it vividly. He could still feel his stomach drop when he thinks of her. His world crumbling into pieces, like the cookie at the bottom of the jar, whenever he's reminded of how her eyes disappear when she smiles much like his — eyes forming intro wrinkly crescents. You felt as if you went below the belt when he became quiet, an uncomfortable silence sitting in the gap between the both of you.

"Back to my proposal," he breaks, "it would really change your writing."

You face pulled together in a center. "How can you say so, Mr. Photographer?"

He inches closer, but his smell was weaker, it was bearable. "Just like what the late Benjamin Franklin had said, 'either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.'"

Your lungs deflate, narrowed eyes processing him. "And what does that have to do with my writing? I wrote something worth reading," you proudly announce.

"No, you're writing your own opinion on a feature. When I read it, I felt like going nowhere. I didn't feel like going back to high school. I felt like I'm in the same place, there's nothing that opened in me," he explains, his words tightening your own throat. "The topic is falling in love in high school, but all I ever felt was hatred."

He pulled a chord in you. He was actually right. Your body falls on the couch, groaning out of frustration.

"What you wrote isn't worth reading, but-" he slouches on the couch and faces you, "you can do something worth writing."

Your cheek sinks on the couch, glaring at Jimin who never looked more passionate about helping you. Break ups do things to people, really.

"And what's that exactly?"

"I know you've never fallen in love in high school, so I'm gonna let you experience what people in love do."

"That doesn't sound like a good idea. I don't want to get messy with Seulgi." The cold leather against your cheeks didn't stop them to burn.

"No, y/n, we're not gonna date. Just trust me on this one, okay?" he convinces and you give in, finding no sense in arguing about a stupid subject

"Just don't do anything weird. I don't really get the gist of your plan."

"What are things that couples do?"

"Aside from making out and having sex at a party? I don't know," you say, his face not impressed.

"I really hate you right now. That's not what we do-"

"Did," you correct, a smile forming on your lips. His frown only worsens from the continuous mocking that you were doing. "Go on, what else did you do?"

His eyes rolled. "Dates. Have you ever been on dates?"

Of course, you have. Family dates count as real dates. That coffee date you had with Sana last Thursday counts, right?

And so, without further arguments within you, you decided to turn down Jimin's dumb idea. Who is he to make fun of you for not going to dates often? You were about to tell him that he's not an inch entitled to show you what a date feels like.

Unreasonably anxious, you tug your skirt down as a small swirl of wind hits on your thin skin. Jimin waves from the bench, standing up to analyze what you wore. You weren't supposed to feel your stomach fall when you finally came to face him, but you did. A tiny voice doubted your outfit choice, and a tiny voice told you how good he looked. Satisfaction fills your wandering mind, you were scared you'd come overdressed with your white puff sleeves.

There was a short amount of silence that gave you enough time to admire him. His Canon camera hangs around his neck, it was the first thing you noticed. He stands there in his skin-tight black pair of ripped jeans, and topped with a thick mustard hoodie. His cute yellow sneakers popped out from the gray cemented ground. Your nose tickled when his scent enters.

"Sorry" was all you could say.

He grins gently, eyes disappearing. "You're about thirty minutes late."

If you didn't spend minutes arguing with yourself about what to wear, you would've arrived sooner. But here you are, still regretting the choice you made. His bright fashion didn't complement your pale vintage look, not that it mattered to him, but you grew conscious.

"Where are you taking me?" you strengthen your voice, trying to seem more confident than you really are.

He tucks both of his hands inside his pockets. "Just pretend I'm either Jungkook or Mr. Kim, whoever you wanna go on a date with."

Imagining Jungkook with a sheepish bunny-like smile, your heart starts to melt and it was vivid in your cheeks.

"See, you're already flustering."

"No, I'm not. Get on with your plan." It was obvious but you chose to deny it, Jimin should be the last person on earth to see you flustered. "Where are you taking me?"

"There's a photography exhibit down the street I'd like to take you in. Wanna eat first?"

His eyes can't help but wander around your body, and you'd be blind to not notice what he was doing.

"Is there something wrong with I'm wearing?" The loud children playing by park almost made your voice inaudible.

"Nope, it's amazing. You look beautiful, y/n," his pitch ascends, tweaking your ears.

You diminish your mind from his compliment, it's all an act. You know he's only doing this to make you feel something which what everything is about. You look away from him, distracting yourself with the pigeons nearby, hoping it would stop your blood from rushing to your face. Jimin takes your hand, intertwining it with his soft palm. Your body hitches and he only held on tighter.

"I know a cafe."

You didn't give him an answer to decide, but he was already pulling you towards a corner. It would've been an unbearable silence if you weren't in public. You hoped he would not notice how your skin has gone damp, tensed by the moment his warm soft fingers made contact with yours. Excitement awakens within you, an unfamiliar emotion.

The moment you saw him sitting on the bench waiting for you, it already felt like a poem waiting to be written. You could already write a hundred words just describing how he looked today. It isn't love, it's just attraction.

He opens the entrance to a cafe — you were too distracted to read the name. You lose contact with his hand as he sits by the counter and so did you. A middle-aged woman with a forced grin awaits on the other side of the counter.

"I'd have a chocolate milkshake," you tell Jimin, shyness was completely obvious in your voice.

"Just one chocolate milkshake," Jimin tells the waiter, his gaze focused on you.

Jenna — written on her name tag — gives a forced lift to her cheeks, proceeding to the kitchen behind. You were in the midst of asking him why he only ordered for himself, but you jumped when you hear his camera click, a flash directed towards your way.

"Ugh, what's wrong with you?"

"To make it last longer," Jimin mumbles, you ignore.

You shouldn't have agreed to this. You shouldn't have rejected Sana's offer to review at the library. You shouldn't have let Jimin take control of the day. Because ever since the moment you arrived in your carefully picked clothes, your mind never acted straight. Never in your five years of high school have you ever felt so embarrassed and timid.

Why isn't he talking? Did I look stupid in the last photo? How many chapters could I have reviewed by now if I stayed home?

Jenna slams the glass of chocolate shake on the counter. You and Jimin didn't bother to react, too busy thinking of what exactly is this tension between the both of you. Jimin takes two straws, slowly inserting them on the mushy drink. He leans forward on his elbow rested against the cold edge of the table, facing sidewards to look at you better. You looked cute when you're ignoring his gaze, and for a second, he forgot the hole in his heart. It only felt stronger the moment you side-eyed him.

"What?" you mutter, unaware of your effect on him.

After a small sip, his eyes widened when he gulped. "It's good, c'mon, try it."

His bottom lip glistens, you weren't even sure why you caught that detail on his face. With a scrutinizing look from him, the moment didn't grow comfortable for you. The longer you stayed with him, the harder it is you try to stop your stomach from doing unnecessary turns.

You sigh. This is not gonna get better if you keep acting like a shy high school girl — well, you are a shy high school girl, but that's never the case with Jimin. He was your friend, a very close friend. With a lump swallowed in your throat, you approached the elephant in the room.

"Jimin," you breathe. "This is weird. I don't even kno-"

"I'll stop you there. You're having butterflies in your stomach, aren't you?" He licks his lip, excited to hear your answer.

"No. No, I'm not having butterflies in my stomach." You raise your chin.

He snickers. "You're supposed to feel it, not deny it. You're such an amateur. Your writing's not gonna get better if you keep being subjective. You feel flustered like the other girls in high school on a date, accept it."

He's making sense and you hate it. But at least it has been addressed. He knows what you're feeling and you don't have to keep it a secret. Defeated, you sigh. You regained your composure which you might have lost by the moment he smiled at you at the bench.

"You take Seulgi here often?" Your lips trembled in the slightest way before taking a sip from your straw.

Jimin chokes on his own breath. "What? You're asking about my ex on our date?"

An intense heat builds upon you, beading of sweat forms on your nape. Our date, two words that repeated like a broken vinyl in your head. Maybe it was being numb for years that everything right now starts to feel like everything. It's not the same emotions you feel when you wrote those drafts, it's something else you can't put your tongue on.

You purse your lips, swallowing the cold drink. "What do we even talk about?" you giggle out.

He didn't take any second to think, Jimin already had something in mind. His hand touches the glass of the drink, finger rubbing the small drips of water on its sides. There isn't something that he's doing that you weren't noticing. You're quite aware that he was just as observant as you by the way he hasn't taken his eyes off you since you sat down.

"Why do you write?" He lifts the glass off the table, bringing it close to him and taking a sip while he waits for your answer.

Well, it's a simple reason. It's all you know, it's all you ever do. Your second grade teacher was quite an amazing narrator. You remember closing your eyes to her melodic voice as she describes the dragon's tower: red bricks stand over a thousand pieces, to the sky it went and in the cloud it hid, scared to be found by a knight who wanted nothing but to save it. It was a remnant of your almost forgotten childhood, since then you only wanted to seek more of those words. A flaming desire sparked in you, that is to write a picture.

"You ever had that feeling like flying when you read something? It's so vibrant and you could almost feel it take you places." You bit your lip, eyes closing to pull your words together. "I want people to feel what I feel, what I see, what I know. To get them to react the way I want them to, but learn something I never knew I wrote." You open your eyes to see him deeply absorbed in your explanation. "You probably don't even get it," you sigh.

"No, I totally get it. I understand." He places the drink back to its wet ring-like mark on the table. "That's exactly how I feel about photography. I want people to see the way I view things, my focal point in life. With photography, I can get them to look at things in a specific perspective."

You were unconscious of the smooth smile that grew on your lips. All this time, you thought you knew Jimin well, but this only opened a door to him. For five years, you've always been ignorant of what others do and what others feel. It felt like a waste of years, the only thing you learned about in high school was Sana's love for body sprays and now, Jimin's reason for photography.

Your throat goes dry, not having anything to say. Though you had a lot in mind, how his eyes shined bright when he enthusiastically praised what he loves. Regret screams inside you, how could I let five years pass by so quickly. There was so much to learn and so much to write, it's a disappointment you've only written for essays and Min Yoongi.

You scoot towards the drink, trying to catch the straw with your lips while your eyes are darted on Jimin. Slurping impulsively, you caught Jimin's face turn into a shock.

"Don't finish our drink!" He dives in with you, sipping much more intensely than you.

You slid off to laugh, a small amount of chocolate drapes on your bottom lip but you were fast enough to catch it with your finger. You catch the straw again, trying to compete with Jimin. The proximity between you was the last thing in your mind, you only cared about getting more milkshake than Jimin who seem to fall behind your level.

You slam your fist on the table after finishing the drink and Jimin leans away to laugh, already accepting his lost. "I win!" you cheer, holding the biggest smile.

Jimin cocks his head, stretching out his hand for a handshake. With a graceful pump, he exhales a tired huff from laughing too hard. "I guess that's one thing you're good at," his lips curved, forming a soft wrinkle on his right cheek. "Sucking."

You snort. "You're also good at finishing early." Earning a chuckle from him, your brow raised.

"How would you know? You never tried me."

You inhale silently, not wanting him to be aware of your reaction. What a stupid comeback. He stands from his seat, pulling his black leather wallet from his back pocket.

"Let's split it," you tell him immediately, hand already reaching for your purse.

"Hey, no. This one's on me. I invited you remember?" He was already placing a bill on the table which Jenna quickly approached, leaving a tip for her that made her smile a little different than earlier.

Your skin turns moist as the both of you walk out the cafe, heat raking against your skin. He returns his hand in yours, so casually it felt so real. He's got a hold of your fingers and he does it so well, it didn't feel foreign, like your hand has somehow molded in there and made its home.

You follow his direction, not bothering to speak since you were afraid your words would only fail you. Silence doesn't seem to bother Jimin as much as it bothers you, he only focused on his way to the exhibit and how your hand felt wrapped in his. Not being able to endure it any longer, you dared to speak.

"I'll pay you back, I promise."

His head didn't turn, and his mouth didn't open. Instead, his thumb rubs over yours. It was a movement so subtle, yet electricity bursts under your skin. You drift your focus on your footsteps, refusing to step on a crack making your phase noticeable to Jimin. You fall a little behind from him, but the game you're playing with your feet felt so serious at the moment. Jimin eyes you, then to your feet, figuring out what the hell you were trying to do. Thinning the space between his brows, he pulls you close with a tight grip on your hand.

"We're here," strictly he says.

A narrow door towers in front of you, and Jimin pulls you inside. Like a normal exhibit, walls were white, exaggerating the black and white photos hanging around them. Strangers inside could easily be counted, scattered around every corner of the room.

"They're all by Ash Park, a film photographer," he states, leading you to the left side to showcase the first picture.

In a golden frame, a pale girl bends to play ball with children much shorter than her in an alleyway. Jimin finds interest in your face, clearing his throat to begin his explanation. You ignore the description pasted on the wall beside it, letting Jimin do the work.

"That's in Cuba. That girl there is an actress, not so popular though. She and Ash are very close friends, if not more than that."

Your brows quirked up, lips pouting with the information given. "Bet your ass they are."

He breathes a laugh before walking to the next frame, and you follow.

"Did you go here already?" you asked, arms crossed against your chest and eyes pinned on the picture.

The same girl sits at the end of the bed, winking at the camera. Her hands politely placed on her thighs with legs crossed. Even in a colorless picture, her personality can be vibrantly seen. She was simply beautiful in her lacy dress.

You turn to Jimin who was staring right at you, his head quickly turning to the photo.

"I've been here with Taehyung," he answers. "About the picture, it's the same girl obviously. I think it's exquisitely symmetrical. Just amazing how aesthetic she looked sitting so proper on the bed. She's like the center of everything in that hotel room, I think that's what Ash is on about."

"I love your depiction, it's making me fall in love," you thin your lips, "with the picture, of course."

Jimin huffs. "Just the picture? Look at her, she's beautiful. He's clearly in love with her. I could hear her laugh from this picture, it's making me fall in love with her too."

"What's her name?"

"Jinri."

You've always thought that words are the only thing that can move a person, but Jinri's smile shines through the printed material. In an unexplainable way, you could feel the chemistry built within the photographer and the model, it is way beyond words. Again, Jimin explains another picture and always find yourself so absorbed within his way of interpretation. And aside from that, whenever your eyes look upon him, he already had his on you.

It goes on for a while, then you found your favorite piece. Jinri reading a book while her body rests on the glass of a store's window. Surrounded by a busy street, it seemed scripted. Nonetheless, it was still beautiful.

"This is my favorite," Jimin says.

"No way, I was just debating about that." Your eyes wandered around the picture, trying to pick up more details.

Jimin grins in astonishment. "It reminds me of a specific picture I took back in eighth grade. Do you remember the book fair?"

"Are you kidding? That's where we met."

"Yeah. That's the day I first brought my camera to school. I was playing around with the lens, trying out different stuff, and then I accidentally took a picture of this girl reading a book. And when I looked at it, the camera focused on her and the rest of the crowd was a blur."

"Do I know her?"

Jimin gulps. "No, probably not. From what I heard, she transferred schools the same year. It's my favorite though, I even printed it out."

"Really? Let me se-"

"It's in my Science notebook. I'll show you some other time."

The rest of the day continued, Jimin asking if you wanted to eat again which you wasted no second to say yes to. You eventually found out about Jimin's hatred towards ketchup. And when you got home, unopened books greeted you from your desk. However, regret didn't knock on your door that night, you were only left smiling while highlighting half of the pages.

But you weren't supposed to be thinking of Jimin like that, knowing the fact that you were supposed to imagine Jungkook during that date. It was bothersome that Jungkook never even crossed your mind today.

Sana's menacing eyes scanned you from head to toe, not believing the lie you had just told her. Your words completely stopping her from reviewing the Lush soap in her hand. Placing the glittery soap back to its container, she minimizes the gap between your bodies.

"I know damn well when you're lying, y/n. You did not review with Park Jimin." Your chest heaved at the mention of his name and you hope Sana didn't notice.

But of course, she's much like you. Quite the observant type, that's why she's your best friend. Years of observing and chattering about high school drama in the cafeteria would be useless if she didn't notice that small body language.

Lately, you keep finding yourself in situations you regret going to. Again, you were supposed to be diving deeper into your calculus reviewer, which you failed to finish last night, but to make up for rejecting Sana's offer to review at the library a day ago, you let her drag you to the mall. You wish you can just gauge your eyes out to make it impossible for Sana to read them.

She releases a breath, the mint chocolate ice cream she had from earlier traveling to your nose. "Please tell me you used a condom."

You slap her shoulder, eyes widening while she solemnly awaits your response. "What's wrong with you? That's the last thing on my list." Immediately regretting your last sentence, you shut your eyes tightly. "I mean it's not on my list." Fuck.

"You're risking failing the exams for a date, that's very unlikely of you."

Not wanting to look at her much longer, you drew your eyes to the bath bombs placed on the wooden table, hands skimming through their rough texture.

"We did not date. We had to do our assignments for the school pub," you clarify, emphasizing every word clearly.

Sana's body remains to face you, ignoring her favorite shimmery body products lying on the shelf beside her. "Last time I heard that was on Fifteen and Pregnant. Was it missionary? Come on, tell me the details."

"Holy shit, quit it! I didn't have sex with Jimin!" You heard every head turning to face you, looks of disgust thrown towards your way.

"Oh, really?" A deep voice sneaks behind you, making you place the lavender bath bomb back to its place. Taehyung blinks like a dumbfounded child, contrasting his deep voice from earlier. His height towers over you and Sana who was just as confused as you are.

"Excuse me? Is it normal for nerds to be such a creep all the time?" You felt Sana nod from beside you with her arms crossed on her chest.

"What? I'm not a nerd. You're a nerd," he points to Sana, "you too."

"Why are you here anyway? This is Lush not Gamestop."

His nose crinkled. "Just a quick FYI, there's a difference between geeks and nerds. And I am not any of those." Placing a hand in the middle of his chest, he looks you deeper.

You smirk, turning to Sana. "Nerd."

"Are you buying lotion for your boyfriend? Is that why you're here?" Sana curves a corner of her lips, proud of what she had said.

"No, I'm here to buy wax for your Mom. You got any suggestions?" retaliated Taehyung, cocking a head towards Sana. "I happen to pass by and I heard you talking about fucking Jimin. I was intrigued."

"Ew, no. She was joking," you reply, rolling your eyes to Sana.

"Oh, I know. He wouldn't be talking with Seulgi if you guys did... you know?" He raises a brow, and you furrowed yours, trying to pretend that you don't understand.

The mention of Seulgi's name struck a chord in you. You knew it was physically impossible for your blood to boil, but it's the right way to describe it. Guessing it's only the hatred for Sana and Taehyung teasing you about Jimin, somehow deep inside you were envious of Seulgi. It was probably the reason Jimin was hard to be seen today, and you're not denying that you did expect him to come talk with you.

"He was?" you ask with a tiny voice, unaware that you just said it.

"I saw them during lunchtime, didn't you?" Taehyung replies sternly, having no intention to make fun of your reaction.

"Right. Yeah, I saw them," you lie quickly, biting your lip afterwards.

Sana looks at you from your side, pursing her lips and trying her best to not say the wrong thing. It was her first time to see you unreadable. Your emotions were new and something she's never encountered before throughout years of knowing you. She's only used to comforting you about a failed quiz, or a scolding from Mrs. Cruz when you can't pronounce Desafortunadamente properly. But she can guess it, jealousy and confusion isn't something new to her. However, it's still absurd to see those emotions printed on your face.

Sana ended up buying a strawberry chapstick, and Taehyung had left before you knew it. She insists to take you home for unknown reasons, it was unusual of her to do so. And you throw yourself on the bed, still with your hot sweater on, careless if you start to smell or not.

You push your head onto the soft fabric of your pillow, trying to take your mind off of your reviewer and the unresolved teenage drama, ew. Now all of your actions are revealing their consequences, your mind falling into a pit of regret. Your crush on Jimin can't come back now, not before the exam at least. You have no strength to fight all that emotions, you should only have one thing in your head and it should be Chapter 8: DNA Base Pairs.

Screaming into the pillow, your Dad comes walking to your door, knocking passively and asking if you were doing okay which you stuttered a yes to. You release an exasperated sigh when you hear him walk back downstairs, continuing his favorite ESPN show.

You would think that a long exhausting day would actually exhaust you, but for some dumb reason, you got up from your bed and sat behind your desk. With a palpitating heart, your eyes wander around the messy table, looking for some sort of entertainment.

I should sleep, like right now. It was a school night, and staying up to decide whether to watch a RomCom movie or to write stresses you more than it should. For the mean time, fuck DNA Base Pairs and calculus, life is now and you're watching 50 First Dates for the seventh time.

The light emitting from the crevice below your door and the floor dims down a few moments ago, and your Dad was no longer cheering for a Christiano Ronaldo rerun. The night has gone quicker than you thought, it was already twelve o'clock sharp, and your eyes are not weighing down at least one bit. They remain full and in awe whenever Drew Barrymore is shown on screen.

Your jump out of your skin when you heard a soft clonk from outside your window, thinking it would just be a twig falling down a tree, you ignore. But they continued for three more times, and twigs falling down during a serene quiet night would be strange. If it was windy outside, you would've heard its gush.

You pause the movie on your laptop screen, waiting for another sound. And then you heard three more knocks. Your head follows the sound. You've never felt more overly excited in your life, stomach jumping in anticipation.

Jimin smiles through the window, relieved that you haven't gone deaf. He waves, then points towards the lock on your window. You nod, hopping out of your seat to unlock it. You hear him sigh, throwing his bag inside your room.

"What are you doing here? Did you get in trouble?"

Jimin's petite body slides right in with no problem, huffing in front of you after his success. He looks to your door then back at you, sweat rolling against the frame of his face.

"You wanna wake your parents? Can you chill for a sec," he whispers, walking towards the end of your bed and dropping on the floor.

While you were busy struggling to pull down the window, Jimin drags his bag to get his camera. Before you could flop beside him, the camera flashes your face. Your lips remain thin, too lazy to react. Scratching the back of your ear, you sit beside him.

"Seriously, how'd you get here in the middle of the night?" you ask, hugging your legs while your fingers tug on the fabric of your jeans.

Jimin spreads his legs, slouching on the wood behind him. He turns the camera off before seeing the picture, his focus already on you. "I stole my brother's car."

"And for what reason?"

"I can't sleep," his head hits the hard material as he turns to see you closer and you cringed for him, "I didn't see you at school today, why's that?"

"Sana dragged me to the mall right after my Spanish class. As for lunch break, I finished my Social Studies essay in the library."

"You could have told me at least. I was waiting for you during lunch."

"No, you weren't," you say quickly, "you were with Seulgi."

Jimin's head rises from its comfort, tilting in confusion. "Why would I be with her?"

You gulp, preparing to say the next lines without jealousy interfering in them. "Taehyung told me so. I ran to him at the mall."

He laughs, making you nervous. His head falls back again, bringing his hand on his stomach. "He probably saw us in the hallway. I did talk to her."

You bit your lip, confused why you expected a different answer from him. Your emotions remain unsolved.

"She wanted to get her bracelet back. She left it in my room before we broke up, but that's about it."

Contentment calms your nerve. He leans closer, and his familiar scent once again enters your nostrils, you exhale it away. "So, I came here uh... I feel like I needed someone to talk to."

"Taehyung's a choice," you reply, closing your eyes to lessen the excitement.

"His parents are actually going through a divorce right now, I don't want to add to his problems," he lets go of a long sigh, body falling to your side.

You lean backwards to make him feel more comfortable, watching his eyes close gently. "You should be there for him," you suggest in a soft tone.

"When I saw her earlier, I didn't want to approach her. I was confused when she walked to me," he said, disregarding your reply. "I feel guilty. I feel like I shouldn't be over her so quickly, I mean... I'm not over her, it's just that I feel better than how she's doing."

You listen to the sound of his calm breathing, and his hoarse voice that tried its best to get lower than it already is.

"When I talked about following her to college, I only said it to feel like I'm doing what I should as her boyfriend. I've always felt obligated around her and that's not how it should go. I love her but it's not the kind of love where everything falls into place." Jimin groans, lifting his body off you.

He ruffles his hair, bending his legs upwards to hug them, copying your position.

"I know it sounded like I'm seeking for perfect love, I'm not. I know relationships have their struggles, but my love for her isn't strong enough to keep it going. She broke up with me, but I feel like I was just waiting for her to."

"You children are so in love with the word 'love'." You dig your chin in between your knees.

"Y/n, it's love whether it's weak or strong. It's love for what I knew love to be. But I love her in a way I couldn't do things for myself, not that she forced me to, I just felt obligated to do so."

"Then don't do it. She'll still love you back even if you don't follow her to college."

"Do I sound stupid?"

You lift your chin to look at him, his eyes already angled towards you. "Honestly? Not really. You're in the midst of things, you can laugh about it later if it's stupid, but it's how you feel and you shouldn't be ashamed of it."

"Exactly, so why are you hating on high school romance again?"

You laugh. "I might need a little more convincing from you."

Your response was what he wanted to hear. There's more comfort in your hand and he realized that the moment he have let go of it during the day at the exhibition. He wants to do this with you, more than ever.

"Do you want to get some KFC?" he asks.

"Are you kidding? It's 12AM!"

"Do stomachs close when it's midnight? Come on, I'm really craving for some zinger right now. And we'll be back before your parents even know it," he insists. "Do something adventurous for once, high school is ending and all you can tell your grandkids about it is homework."

You roll your eyes. "I really can't," smacking your lips, "say no to that."

Jimin wastes no time in pulling you towards the window, but you shake his hand off to take your dirty sweater off, revealing your sky blue smocked bodice cami top. Jimin ravels his eyes on your body, a lump forming inside his throat.

"Move," you tease, pushing him towards the window. Thank God, it was humid outside, you wouldn't have survived with just a sleeveless top.

The next thing you know, Jimin was singing at the top of his lungs to What Lovers Do and with such a falsetto voice, you sang along as well. Looking to your side was when you realized how great the city lights compliment Jimin's smile, and everything felt so fixed, you weren't worried about getting caught nor falling asleep in class tomorrow, it just felt so right and perfect.

This was something based on novels you read as a middle schooler, and you were foolish to never believe in any of it. Some quotes start to make sense, everything was a hazy dream and no words can ever define how extraordinary Jimin's eyes looked as they twinkle inside the dark vehicle.

Jimin had no other thoughts than enjoying the moment with you, in this year is where it all ends and everything starts. Graduation was nearing and the only thing making perfect sense for him was that soft beam you have while you bob your head to the beat. Bokeh was something that he only sees in pictures, but he dies right the moment you smiled at him and you were surrounded by them.

He makes a turn, almost forgetting that you were here to eat with him. As soon as the both of you arrive inside, Jimin runs to the counter to place the orders.

You sit near the entrance, chin resting on your palm while you wait for Jimin to finish. The girl in the counter seems to be around your age, and she looks at Jimin with so much happiness in your eyes. You giggle. Jimin leans on the counter, silently talking with the girl to which she keeps responding with a laugh.

Jimin sits across you, setting the food on the table. His hand immediately grabbing his zinger. You watch him take the first bite while you unwrap yours, pretending to be as hungry as he was.

"How do you do that? Flirt all over the place?" You point your sandwich towards Jimin whose cheeks are bulging.

He swallows, eyes shutting to savor the satisfaction. "Oh, I'm not flirting. She was." He turns his head to the girl with a wide smile, then to you. "How do you do that? Hate on something you've never felt nor experienced?"

"Hm," resting your arms on the table, "I don't actually hate it anymore. This thing that we're doing, teaching me what people in love do, it's kinda fascinating."

His gaze alternates to you and his food. "There's more to this. This is what friends do, but what Seulgi and I did was so much more than just this."

You look down, taking a bite to ignore the weird emotion forming inside you.

"I mean what couples do. I know you're pretending I'm Jungkook and that's the thing, friends are great companion but when it's the person you love, time feels faster."

"I'm not actually pretending you're Jungkook," you confess, and you felt him lose his composure but he was quick enough to take it back.

"You seem to smile at me like I'm somebody else."

"I smile at you just fine," you take a sip of the Sprite beside your tray. "Anyways, do you already have something to send Yoongi?"

He nods. "Already took my masterpiece."

You roll your eyes. "Wish I could say the same. Exams are two days from now and I just gave up reviewing."

"I could study with you, I'll come over tomorrow."

"How is that gonna help me review?"

"I'm like the best study buddy ever. Have you written anything yet?"

You huff in disbelief. "No, inspiration's not coming to me."

Jimin moves away, mouth agape. "Y/n, look at me," and you did more than you already were, "I'm all the inspiration you need. Write something about how I smell good or how my eyes look when I talk, girls love to read that shit."

"First of all, you smell like every rotten fruits combined. Second, no. That's not what feature writing is about, I'm not gonna turn it into a John Green novel."

"Turn it into an erotica, let Yoongi jack off to it before rejecting it."

You snort, cheeks turning red. "You think he jerks off to erotica?" you ask in between laughs.

"I did, Fifty Shades of Grey chapter thirty-nine." He leans back, waiting for your reaction. "It was worth a wet page."

"I do not need details. Jimin, what the fuck?"

He raises his brows, chewing on his fries. Eating has never been more attractive. He smirks. "Hurry up eating." Jimin cleans his mouth with a tissue, slamming his fist on the table to rush you.

"Jesus, you wanted me to eat," you reply with your mouth full, crumpling the wrapper to slip it inside the empty cup.

The both of you leaves the place laughing, pushing each other on the way to his car — brother's car in the dark and empty parking lot. It was just the crickets, moderate hums of cars passing by, and your laughs, play fighting with each other. Before the car splits the both of you, Jimin pulls you to remain behind the vehicle.

"What?" He holds your arm in a careful manner, calming down from his giggles.

"I've never done this before," Jimin leads you to the driver's side, opening the door to reach for the radio. Leaving the car door open, Linger by The Cranberries made its way to your ears.

You feel your neck sets afire, you swear they've turned a bright pink that roamed to your cheeks. With wide eyes, questioning Jimin's actions. "You're not turning this into a coming of age film, are you?"

His palms glide to your waist, pulling you closer to him. Thank goodness the lot was empty, but you doubted maybe the girl Jimin was flirting with earlier can somehow see your bodies ridiculously swaying. That's the least of your worries, because Jimin's hands was electricity to your exposed skin. You decide to wrap your arms around his neck, not wanting to make it any more awkward and just going with the flow.

He blinks at you. "Yes, we certainly are." He purses his lips, you can only look.

Besides your swelling heart, your lips shake trying to suppress its cavernous grin. "So, this is what corny couples do?"

Jimin exhales through his nostrils, taking your hand to extend it to the side while he hugs you closer. "No, no. This is what we do, y/n."

You couldn't comprehend what he said, disregarding it by burying your head deep into his chest, inhaling his scent like making a memory, he does the same by digging his nose into your hair. You close your eyes to concentrate on the beat of his heart, just as fast as yours and synchronized perfectly.

"I've never done this before," he repeats and he feels you nod. "Have you?"

"No," you tell his chest. "Why would you think I've done it?"

His hot breath rolls on your scalp, enjoying the smell of your papaya shampoo. It goes on for a while, steady breathing no matter how fast both of your hearts rush. Then he lets go, a part of you already missing the feeling of his chest against your cheek.

"Can I just..." Jimin breaks, ignoring your question, his hand that used to intertwine yours holds your cheek, his grasp on your waist tightening. Your eyes were still, and he watches as though they were incomparable even when they're closed.

In a sharp push from behind you, fingers extending to push you further to his groin. Your eyes flutter open as his lips connect with yours. You pull away and you catch Jimin's eyes close, slowly opening them again.

"I'm sorry." He moves away, feeling horrible for just kissing you like that. Before he enters the car, you tug his arm, framing his face with your hands to pull him again back to your lips. He rakes his fingers on your back, just a little above your ass.

Feeling shy, the movement of your lips were subtle. But Jimin just devoured them, and you followed his sloppy kiss. He exhales heavily it sounded like a grunt, smiling in between. You wrap around him again, and he lifts his fingers to your nape. Pushing you towards the car, he jerks his hip and so did you, unfamiliar heat pooling between your thighs.

You thrust against him again, he grips you waist tighter only to pull away.

"You need to stop that," he purrs, giving you one last peck.

You followed his body, but he signals you to stop. Confused, you went to the other side and processed what he was trying to do. The kiss was too good to regret, it felt like an achievement rather. And the ride back to your house was unsatisfying, you didn't want to go home, you only wanted more. But Jimin leaves the moment he takes his bag, silence wrapping every second. No words exchanged after he stopped you from kissing him again, fazing you the whole night.

You spent your day memorizing at school, just happy that the teachers gave enough free time to let their students study for the upcoming exams. Except of course for Mrs. Cruz who went about Spanish adverbs.

Tuesday was boring, well, a little. It would've been extremely boring if the kiss last night didn't happen. Aside from flipping pages in the library while Sana sits comfortably beside you, your mind wanders why the fuck - why the fuck Jimin kissed you then stopped you. You poke Sana, intending to tell her about it, it doesn't matter if she can help, but she shakes your hand away and made a hissing noise. Slouching in your seat, you pick up your notes again, rereading each sentences.

Once. Twice. Thrice. Trying to get the definition of protein inside your head, but you're far from getting there when footsteps behind you felt closer. Please don't be him. But of course, destiny seems to love the idea of you being miserable.

"We need to talk," Jimin says right when you stand to face him, holding a brown teddy bear in his hand.

"No, dingus. She's with me," Sana protests, putting down her trig notebook.

"Actually, we need to really talk. Like really need to really talk, you know?" you reply, leaving your seat while Sana frowns.

Sana was only two steps away, yet Jimin continued with his statement.

"About the kiss," he begins. "I'm really sorry, I didn't know what I was doing. I shouldn't have done it."

"Right," you lie. "I also didn't know what I was doing. I was just thinking of Jungkook and I dived right in, I'm such an idiot. It was like one in the morning, I was hallucinating." You fake a giggle and Jimin furrows his brows.

"You were thinking of Jungkook?" he mutters, almost inaudibly. "I mean, right. Yeah, you're thinking of Jungkook, I should know ha ha."

"Let's just forget about it. It's dumb." You nod your head, and he bites his lip trying to ignore your gaze. "Is that for Seulgi?" Pointing towards the medium stuff toy, and he lifts it while scratching his nape.

"Nope, this is actually for you," he extends the toy forward and you uncertainly accept. "Are we still on tonight? You know? About the studying thing?"

You grit your teeth, pushing your thumbs roughly on the bear's stomach. "Of course, why wouldn't we be? Let's just forget about that thing last night, uhm... See you at five?"

Jimin finds you unbelievable, he couldn't even get over about the kiss ever since this morning but here you were, someone who's never been kissed before being so casual.

"Five it is." His lids drop, ignoring the prickly feeling as he walks away.

You release a huff, staring at the bear while Sana watches you with her mouth wide open.

"Wow, you're actually dating him."

You turn over to see her face, rolling your eyes. "Last thing on my list, okay?"

She shrugs.

It wasn't long 'till the sun sets, you were already in your pj's and this time, you wore a tight shirt to prevent Jimin from seeing your boring bra straps. You weren't even preparing the study materials, you were just sitting on the couch, tensed and dense, with ears waiting for the doorbell to finally ring.

Bracing yourself, you stare at the bear placed on the other side of the couch and it looks as though it's speaking right back at you. The doorbell rings, and you run to the door as fast as you could but you stopped before opening it, arguing with yourself whether to smile or not, pretending like you don't care that he's here.

"Hey," he clears his throat, "are you ready?"

"For what?"

He grins at your stupid question. "To study? What else are we gonna do?"

You shake your head, throwing your thoughts in a bin as you move away from the door, leaving him to close it. The heat beneath your thighs from your seat earlier comforts you, you're home and there's nothing to be nervous about — except you're home alone with Jimin and you have every reason to be nervous.

"What do study buddies do? I'm not really a fan of company," you confess as if he doesn't know yet.

"I don't know. I've never done it either." He laughs. "Let's just ask each other questions."

You nod, watching him sit a foot apart from you, positioning his black bag next to the couch.

"Oh," he expressed, looking at his gift that lies comfortably next to him. "Hello."

You place your thick Biology book on top of your lap, searching for questions you could ask him. "You ready?"

"When you are." He waits, rubbing his knee.

Fuck, there really was this stupid tension that won't go away even if you try. You breathe unsteadily, hoping your voice won't crack.

"What's a codon?"

He clicks his tongue. "It's a sequence of three nucleotides that corresponds to an amino acid. A full set of codons is called a genetic code." His voice was suave, completely unaware of your thoughts.

"Great, that's great. That's more than what a blank would need. Next question."

He nods.

"What's a DNA made up of?"

"Phosphate, 5-carbon sugar, and nitrogenous bases."

"Yes. Are you sure you need to review?"

"Yeah, it's just two questions I got right."

"Fine. What kind of bonds hold together the nucleotides within one one strand?"

"Special covalent bonds called phosphodiester bonds. Is that correct?"

"Yeah. This is unfair, you're in a science club."

"It's not just a science club. It's the Curious Minds Club."

You groan. "I was trying to forget that stupid name."

"Say what, Ms. Secretary of Mr. Darcy Fan Club."

"That's not the name of our club! It's Diverse Readers Literary Group."

"Oh, I forgot. You know why I forgot? It's boring."

"Dee-Ar-El-Gee. Sounds more professional than Curious Minds, it's like you're hosting a Disney show."

"DRLG? Sounds like a social worker group."

"Whatever. Your tiny brain won't understand."

He steals the book from your lap, flipping to a page you've never seen before. "What kind of bonds hold together the nucleotides within one strand?"

"Shit. Hydrogen bonds?"

"See? You got this. How many bonds do the nirogenous bases form?"

"A and T form 2... uh... hydrogen bonds while C and G form 3."

"You're just as qualified for the Curious Minds Club."

"Oh, no."

He laughs, dismissing your thoughts away. You find yourself breathing properly around him, forgetting the taste of his lips.

"Next question," he snaps his fingers, "how well do I kiss?"

You look at him for the first time in a while, his legs on the couch before you could even scold him for it. He has his arms on top of the couch, right above you. "Seriously?" was all you could say.

"Quick survey." You weren't kidding but it sounded like he was, though he anticipates your answer.

"It was great," you whisper, remembering it all again. How you thrusted onto him, tasting his sweet lips from the remnants of sprite, and how his smell didn't bother you a single bit.

"Just great?"

He shifts closer, and you turn your direction in front. "What do you expect me to say?"

"Did you really think of Jungkook?" You heard the tussle in his tone.

"Mhm," you recline. "Didn't you think about Seulgi?"

He laughs through his nostrils, the air gushing to your cheek. "Why would I think of her? I was kissing you. God, how oblivious can you get?"

"Well, maybe because you stopped me? You realized I'm not her so you stopped me."

It took a moment before he responded. "I didn't want you to stop. I just can't take you there."

"Take me where? Look, it's okay if you were thinking of Seulg-"

"My God, y/n. I was trying to control myself!"

"From what?"

"From fucking you," he half-yells.

There it was again, the fire building in you. Why did he have to bring this up again? You were close to forgetting everything - err, at least some of it.

"Y/n, I'm sorry if you felt like I was rejecting you. I can never do that." He scoots again. "Say something."

You had no clue what words you were trying to search for, all you wanted was to feel his lips on yours again. What do they taste like without the sweet drink lingering? How would it feel to kiss him in private? To kiss him in a comfortable place, somewhere no one can interfere?

There's only one way to find out.

"Then prove it."

He thinks for a moment before attaching his lips onto yours once again. It was like a taste you've been craving, and having his lips on yours again felt ecstatic. Without the drink, his lips tasted just the same, sweet and satisfying. He skims a hand to your thigh, while the other holds your nape. God bless the teenage hormones!

He pulls away, breathing raggedly. "On top of me." He taps your thigh and you oblige, sitting on his lap and returning your lips to his.

The kiss was running out, you want more. You want to feel more than just a kiss, it was insatiable. His sweatpants did no justice in hiding his hardening cock, softly poking on your entrance. But he kept his hands on your waist, trying his best not to grab your ass. You grunt, finally rolling your hips to feel that friction you've been needing.

He fails at controlling himself after hearing the noise you made, thrusting upwards to get the satisfaction he needed. His hand stops before the curved of your breast, needing an affirmation from you. For the mean time, he was entertaining himself by playing with your tongue. You earn a groan from him when you rub your pussy against the outline of his cock, he pulls away again to stare at his crotch, biting his lip.

"Did I do anything wrong?" you ask with so much worry.

"No, I just... I won't be able to stop if you keep doing that."

"Jimin, please," you beg, trailing his hands to your waiting breasts, moaning while you continuously rub yourself on him.

He watches you get yourself off with hooded eyes, his mouth open as he releases quiet moans himself. "You're doing so well, y/n, fuck." He pulls you again, biting your lower lip as he inserts one of his hand in your shirt, lifting your bra to pinch a nipple.

You were nearing your climax, and Jimin just kept watching without intention to take his clothes off. Slowing down, Jimin lifts your shirt right above your breasts, licking a nipple while he gropes the other.

You release a high-pitched whine, encouraging Jimin to twitch his dick. "Woah, you could do that?"

He giggles slightly, giving you a peck on the lips. "You're so adorable."

He thrusts again, pushing you further to your orgasm. Struggling to face him, he lowers your chin with his thumb, murmuring words you couldn't decipher at the moment, but they sounded comforting and sexy. With one last hump, muffling a loud moan in Jimin's shoulder, you find it hard to look in his eyes again. You could feel yourself throb in wetness, too ashamed to get off of Jimin only to find a wet spot on his gray sweatpants.

"It's okay, baby," he whispers as you pull away, resting back on your seat.

"Are you... Did you?" you stutter, currently having a hard time finding the right question to ask him.

He didn't. You saw the tip of his cock — it looks so good — bulging through the fabric, dry and desperate for attention.

"Hey, I'm fine. Don't worry about it." Nothing was fine for you, everything was embarrassing. You shouldn't have done that, you shouldn't have let your hormones get the best of you. You couldn't look him in the eyes, needing time to process your orgasm and what the hell you just did.

"I think you need to leave," you sternly command, "I need to-"

"I get it. Sorry." You regret telling him to leave because after his apology, he grabbed his things and actually left, giving you more the reason to regret everything.

The room was quiet, but you can still hear your reckless moans, wishing that the neighbors didn't hear any of it or else you're dead meat once your parents get home. You glance at the teddy bear, immediately grabbing the soft toy to hug it.

"Why didn't you stop me?"

The proctor was Mrs. Cruz, the first to ruin your day. She walks a lot around the classroom for someone who's having back problems. From time to time, she'd have a sit behind the desk, typing slowly on her laptop keyboard. She would also readjust her thinly-framed glasses, tuck her dry dark hair behind her ear.

That's enough description of Mrs. Cruz, you're absolutely lost for words when it came to the unexpected essay. Who puts an essay in a Maths exam? Apparently, it's Mr. Uley. You've left a couple of blanks, and some were lacking solution. Mr. Uley also came up with the worst idea for an exam: right minus wrong.

Rolling the edge of the paper to find relief, you signaled to Sana who sits beside you, luckily. Leaning to the side, you slump your foot down ever so slightly so that Mrs. Cruz wouldn't notice. Sana looks at you, then to Mrs. Cruz who was busy finding a letter in her keyboard.

You mouthed, "Number six."

Sana furrows her brow, flipping through her pages to see her answer. She smiles, and you sigh inside your head, she has an answer.

"I didn't answer it," she whispers back, catching the crooked teacher's attention. Sana plays it cool, pretending to think while she rolls her pen in her fingertips.

Your world drops again, shit. You're most likely going to fail Trigonometry, and that means watching motivational videos on Youtube about blaming the education system and how it fails the students completely for being incompetent when you really just didn't study.

That was only the first exam, there were more to come. You have already lost your motivation, but you were confident to take Biology. You have all the reasons to be.

Jimin appears at the cafeteria from time to time, but you would ignore it. He was aware of how uncomfortable it have gotten between the both of you and he wasn't planning to make any move. Good thing Sana has stepped out of her diet and finally started to join you for lunch again. But it's not that much fun with Sana, because for every bite of your sandwich, she had to talk about how unhealthy it was and that you should change your diet too. But it's her or no one.

Well, Jungkook was one person to talk to other than Sana. Short talks with him aren't so bad, he was just too shy. You can't expect much from a tenth grade boy, but you've made a close friend in him.

Two days of examination felt longer than it should, and time for studying felt shorter before exams. The only thing you're having trouble with was coming up with a story. You missed Jimin and his scent, and you knew things would be better if your problem with him would just go away, but you can't bring yourself to talk to him and arrange things between your relationship. He wasn't doing any effort either to come talk with you.

Maybe it really is over. Maybe you really ruined everything. You can't blame it on your hormones itself, you wanted to cum on Jimin's lap, it was all on you. It was your choice, and you've come to the conclusion that you might have actually fallen for the school publication photographer. Shit, you tell yourself.

You shut your laptop, frustrated for not finishing yet again another draft. You decided to fill your stomach instead of forcing out a drabble, it always ends well when you're munching on something sweet. When you reached downstairs, your Dad was cheering for Christiano Ronaldo again. ESPN must've ran out of ideas and just kept showing reruns of the same game, still your dad was entertained by them even after long hours of working.

He glances at you while you open the fridge, unbothered to ask you how was school. When the door rings, you dropped the box of leftover donuts. You were a little hopeful of who it could be.

Seeing your dad remain in the same position of the couch, you proceeded to the doorstep with a glazed donut in your hand. It's not him, but it sure was a surprise to have Sana visit you during this ungodly hour for a school night. She's got her hair straightened and fixed, wearing a white skin-tight dress that stops on her mid-thighs. She looked glamoured up.

"The hell are you doing here?" you asked the blondie while the donut melts in your mouth. Your Dad turns for a second, but he goes back to watching.

"I'm picking you up, dummy. Daniel is hosting a party, you should definitely come."

"What? No, I'm busy."

"You're not busy. Exams are over so let's have a celebration. Your boyfriend's gonna be there."

"He's not my boyfriend! I couldn't care less if Jimin will be there, can you let me be?" Yes, you actually cared that Jimin will be there. You just can't get the idea of him having fun while you are left here confused and still thinking about last time.

Of course he was over it. You were just another girl he had on his dick. You thought you would've memorized Jimin's tactics by now, but you're still as naive as he knows you would be. Your lids lightened against your eyes, a tingly feeling creeping inside you but not in a good way. You could float and fall at the same time.

"Let's go to this stupid fucking party." You swore your dad's head turned, but that's the least of your worries.

You rush to your room, picking up whatever you find sexy, and immediately throwing it on. You wanted to be unexpected and spontaneous, everything Jimin thought you wouldn't be. When you wind up to the party, his mouth is gonna drop on the floor while you grind on some jock's crotch. Maybe you'll regret it in the morning, but you've already done enough of regrettable stupid things in a span of a week. What's one more stupid mistake?

Things don't always go as planned, that's why you're sitting next to Hoseok, a senior like yourself from another school, you can't remember. But the discussion was great while Sana plays Truth or Dare with the band geeks. He was in the middle of talking about his hiking with his very wealthy family, and you were in the middle of falling asleep hoping he won't notice your lids dozing off.

You've never caught a sight of Jimin in the party, and you've already come to the conclusion that Sana just said that to make you come. You hate the fact that she was successful in her attempt.

Irritation brushed your nerves, keeping you awake as you stare deeper into Hoseok's beautiful smile. You wanted to make your plan come true whether Jimin was here or not — which in this case, not.

Whoever was in charge of music, you were thankful. It was probably an indie party song, somewhere around Grouplove's genre. Now you were throwing your hands around Hoseok, his smile disappearing and turning into a smirk. You felt dirty, what has high school become?

It wasn't that one glass of tequila that made you sway in front of Hoseok, you just wanted to take your mind off of Jimin. You hiss at the thought of him, placing a soft kiss on Hoseok's neck. He pulls you close, but it didn't feel like how Jimin pulled you that night in the lot. It felt cold, Hoseok's hand wasn't homely. His scent was probably Old Spice, you used to love that scent, you could smell it from Jungkook back then.

This wasn't working. For the first time in your high school years, you've failed yourself to accomplish something — aside from your Trig exam. Hoseok wasn't grinding himself and you appreciate the chivalry. He was just sorta enjoying your sloppy tongue against his neck, and he loved the way you were cutely dancing in front of him.

It wasn't long 'till his hand trails down to your ass though, and he was gripping it tightly. Before you could react, he was moving away. And when you looked at him, he was staring behind you. A familiar hand traces your waist, and a sweet fragrance travels your nose.

"I didn't expect you to be here," Jimin speaks from behind before you turn to face him. Hoseok was gone and you didn't bother.

"Get your hand off me, Jimin." He doesn't let go, only gripping the curve of your waist tighter. He was holding a sippy cup in his other hand, moving to your front to get a better view of you.

"What did I do wrong?" In all your honestly, nothing. You pushed him away and he did well, but you just wished he could read your mind during that time like he always does.

"How was exams for you?" You drop the topic, trying not to think of your embarrassing "cumming undone" moment. He sips in the most attractive way. You remain your arms crossed.

"I think I did horrible. I'm pretty sure you did well, baby," he slurs, obviously drunk.

When his breath reached your nostrils, you can't deny the way you throbbed for his lips to just latch onto your neck.

"Don't baby me," you irked, earning a chocolate laugh from him.

"Why not?"

"Because you're drunk."

"What made you think I'm drunk? I'm very much sober." He grips you tighter, and you didn't insist, only attaching your hips to his groin. "I'm just lazy talking." He bites his lip, watching how your hips teased the front of his fly.

"Why did you leave?" you asked.

"I didn't want to, y/n. I just know you felt uncomfortable and I don't want to push you further."

There was silence before you could process his answer, nothing proper came up as he molds his hand to your ass. He was confident when he's drunk. Unlike Hoseok, it felt right.

So much caressing happened, heavy petting. And Jimin being the suspect, you can't help yourself. You just somehow found yourself tangled with him on the way upstairs looking for a room to do things seventh grade you despised. Fuck relationships and young love, right? But if Jimin could make your hormones rage like a sexually-deprived normal teenager, why not try?

Whoever Daniel was, he's one hell of a rich guy. Losing your virginity in a luxurious palace looking room sounds better than losing it in the backseat of a car after prom night. Good thing Jimin had good control of his dick, or else you would have been pumped in his brother's car at a parking lot in front of a KFC.

You pushed your thoughts away as Jimin had his fingers at the hem of your underwear, tugging it down slowly. The air fills the gap, for the first time in your life, your pussy ached out of lust. Being the patient man, he looks you in the eye for a second, waiting for a word.

"Do you really want this?" he asks, his index already forming circles around your inner thigh. "I'm so fucking hard for you right now. If you're not sure, tell me before I shove my dick right in your pussy."

You were never a fan of porn, not even a single bit. You would never waste time on horrible actors, but Jimin's words were straight out of a porn script. Yet they didn't draw you back, instead you squirmed under his fingertips.

"Please, Jimin."

He buries himself in your slit, latching his tongue against your clit.

"Oh," you exclaimed. It felt like that evening you were on Jimin's lap, except more intense and raw. There's nothing more that you want than for him to do it again.

"You like that?" he asked, but you ignored. His tongue was gentle, placing kitten licks on your sensitive bud, having you arched your back like a professional gymnast. Both his hands traveled to your breasts, groping them amidst the fabric. You place your hands on top of his, it felt romantic to hold them for reasons you can't explain. He leaves one of your breasts, feeling him near his finger in your entrance.

Your eyes widened, jumping at the sensation of something entering you. He affirms you by tightening his hold on your hands. Again, massaging your clit with his plump luscious lips.

"Baby," he whispers to your pussy, as if making a bond with it. Enjoying the curving of a single digit in your hole, he slowly eased in another one. "Are you taking it well?"

"Yes, yes. God, yes." You grope his hair, pushing him to your clit and you feel him smirk.

He adds another once you got comfortable, the sting passing away after a few more pumps. When he feels you nearing again, he pulls away. He winks as he removes his pants, kicking it down until his member sprung out.

You have seen a dick, of course. Well, if anatomy illustrations count. It looked scary, but it was Jimin. Thick and veiny is the proper way to describe it, he was right. Seulgi would never break up with him because of his dick, it wouldn't even make the list of why she had broken up with him. You stared at it for a while longer while Jimin prepares himself by putting on a show.

He positions himself in between your thighs, rubbing the head of his cock in your cunt. He kisses you, muffling your moans as he eases inside, in a very gentle way as if you were a butterfly that landed on the tip of his finger. Though it was tearing you apart, Jimin finds a away to make you comfortable by rolling his tongue against your jaw. It helped only a little, and when he moved smoothly, you whimper which he takes notice of.

"Jimin, wait," with such an embarrassed tone, but he comforted you by staring into your eyes, stopping himself no matter how hard it was. "I'm sorry. I just need—"

"No worries, I'm okay. Do you want to stop or not?"

"No, just wait."

He nods, the air he emits heating your face. He stares at your teary eyes, falling more than ever. He's never seen anything so precious, if only he could take a picture of such moment, but there are things that the camera can't see, much like words can't express.

You wrap your arms around him, signaling him to continue. He doesn't disappoint, he pushed again deep inside you, releasing a shaky groan to your ear. Every thrust felt euphoric, not a single one didn't give you pleasure. You clench around him, earning a nasally exhale from him.

"Chim-ah..." you trail, clawing at the skin of his back. His face wrinkled, and it was the sexiest thing you've seen. "Feels so good."

He sped up his pace, and just like before, you were cumming around him. But he motivates you, unbothered whether he was finished or not. He sends you to your orgasm, legs clinging tighter around him. He watches you bite your lip to suppress the loud moan, still thrusting harder to ride the high.

Then he throws himself beside you, and this time you wanted to return the favor. You get on your knees which had Jimin's eyes flutter open, yet still hiding his excitement. Once you grip his length, he bites his bottom lip, trying to remain his calm. He focuses on you, propping on his elbows to see you better.

"You don't have to do this," he comforted.

"I want to. I'm no expert so please—"

"Shh, everything you do is sexy," he whispered, placing his thumb on your cheek to give you the warmth you needed.

Here goes nothing, you tell yourself. You slide a thumb over the head of his shaft before rolling your tongue from the bottom to the top. I should've watched porn more, I'm such an amateur.

Jimin saw the doubt in your eyes, giving you a sly smile before he speaks. "It feels good."

You swaddle his balls, finally pushing your lips further down his cock, softly sucking. You can taste yourself, it felt dirty doing something like it, but when you saw Jimin's eyes pinned on you while his face crunches in pleasure, you couldn't help but be motivated. You pumped the rest of his cock, latching you tongue on every visible vein which had Jimin grunting. You hollowed your cheeks while your tongue ripples inside, tickling the edges of his cock.

"Shit, y/n. You're going fucking—" he groaned, not being able to articulate proper sentences.

Then he explodes right into your mouth without a warning except for a hand in your hair, thrusting his hips upwards which made you gag. It was salty and bitter—not really your definition of swallowable. You still gulped it down, and Jimin laughs at your reaction.

Patting the space beside him, you slump down. You've always thought sweaty tangled bodies were disgusting, but it was actually comforting and warm.

That's the first night of hearing Jimin's cute little snores.

A flash to your face wakes you up, and through heavy lids you saw Jimin in his usual black pants, topless of course. You panicked this time, not because of your sleeping face but because you were just as naked.

"Jesus, Jimin! Delete that!" you demanded, the boy only grins.

"Just for me, trust me." He sits beside you on the bed, giving you a smack on the lips.

Your breath smelled like the night before, but Jimin didn't care. Having his warm body right next to yours was different, and even though your values don't really support what you were doing around him, you still wrapped them around his waist. Jimin does the same, the sound of his breathing calmed your thoughts.

You've always wondered why couples spend a lot of time together, like don't they run out of things to say? However, the silence in the room spoke something to you. No words need to be exchanged to let each other know the thoughts of the other.

Jimin gave you a ride home (with his brother's car) at four in the morning, kissing you goodbye, leaving you smiling as you walk to your room. You want to see him again, maybe even have a breakfast with him.

Wait, what? I'm not in love with him! This is just a huge crush.

You diminish the smile, proceeding to the shower to wash away his scent. Shaking your head as you think about actually falling in love. No! You're too young for that, right? Though the hot shower didn't really help you scrub the emotions off, it did give you the time to deny.

English was dry, and so were the other classes. If only Sana came today, maybe you would learn another nutrition fact about your usual chicken sandwich. Also it's not to your surprise that Jimin joins you for lunch and gave you a chocolate box. You've known him for years and he even went as far as buying a bouquet for Seulgi as a gratitude after their sexual escapades.

"You're giving me Ferrero Rocher for fucking you last night?"

He snickers, one that could make your cheeks burn. "Can you— What's wrong with you?"

"You're acting like I'm a new person. Jimin, I'm still your best friend," you say without expecting your tone to be as high.

"Babe, just open it for me." You roll your eyes at the nickname.

You lift the lid of the heart-shaped box, a note taped in the middle of the lid surprises you. Swooning a little, not trying to show Jimin your actual reaction.

“Do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my prom date?”

"No," you sighed. "I mean, no way this is real."

Jimin's gaze falls over, that look of hurt surrounding his face. "Hey, I'm not rushing you."

"This is just stupid, no offense. You know me, Jimin. I know you more than anything. I know you still think about her," you protest, not daring to look him in the eyes and just staring at the note.

"I'm not forcing you, y/n. I'm just offe-"

You scoffed, but you kept your composure. "I'm not going. It will be a waste of time. I'm really sorry. You can just ask her instead."

"I like you, y/n. I don't even think about her when I'm with you." You grew nervous at the thickness of his voice.

"Because that's what it is. You move on easily because you're not really in love, kids like us don't know the meaning of love. Stop pretending that for every sex you've had, you're in love."

"Jimin," Seulgi appears behind him, clearing her throat.

"I'm gonna go," you tell him with a broken voice, giving a thin smile towards Seulgi. You take the box half-heartedly, chocolates can't go to waste.

That was the last time you spoke to Jimin and from time to time, he'd give a call but you never answered any of them. Things slowly went back to normal and finally, you've finished your feature before Min Yoongi spams you with e-mails. The outcome never really satisfied you, but it was better than nothing.

In my long years of high school, the word "love" had never crossed my mind. A week ago, I was assigned to write about falling in love at a young age. But the truth is, falling for someone during these early years will never happen. Love takes so much more than just a spoken word. I know, you're in love with your partner right now, but let me tell you this one thing: you're not. These butterflies, all the fluttering inside our stomachs, they're most likely just happiness and excitement. College will come, and all the emotions we feel now will be forgotten. So, what's the point in falling in infatuation? Save yourself the emotional roller coaster, love in high school is the last thing you should think of. There's so much more to love in the world, like baseball or cheerleading. It doesn't always have to be a person. The right time will arrive, and you're actually going to fall in love. But not when we're still struggling to solve for the x, or when we can't come up with an essay. Love is everywhere, but our young little hearts won't recognize that just yet. Just like what Ricky Nelson had said, "We haven't the right to decide for ourselves, dear, what's black and what's white."

"This sucks." Sana slams the paper on the lunch table, giving you a judging look. "I can't believe Yoongi allowed this to be published."

You roll your eyes, cringing at the sight of your highly-disliked feature. "I know, okay? No need to remind me."

"Well, everybody in campus hates you now for thinking that their relationship is all just a joke to you. It's not like they care about your opinion, just that they feel humiliated. You could have done better." Her expression was disappointed, aware of what you're hiding. "You know Jimin submitted your picture right? The one in the cafe sayin-"

"It's published. What can I do?" You cut her off before she could make you feel bad about Jimin, munching on your chips as you slouch on your seat.

Sana puts her hand behind your back, straightening your posture. "I know you can write better. You're just trying to run away from your inspiration."

You give her a dirty look before speaking with your mouth full. "Shut up, I'm not running from anything."

She laughs, caressing your back. "Oh, my y/n, you can't lie from me." She smiles, her perfect teeth annoying you.

"Who cares if they don't like my feature? They go ahead and write their own, I don't care."

"You're so narrow-minded. Are you sure you're not coming to prom? I can still get you a dress in case you change your mind."

Right, you almost forgot. Prom was tomorrow, and you're kind of regretting not going after finding out that Jungkook will be there to serve the food. But seeing Jungkook wouldn't be worth it if you will be seeing Jimin dance with Seulgi all night long.

"I'm not changing my mind, Sana." You stood, gathering your stuff before leaving Sana behind in the cafeteria, not wanting to talk about how excited she is for prom.

You spent the next day watching reruns on ESPN much like your father, nodding along as he complains how a professional athlete couldn't make a single goal. He was too absorbed by the sports in front of him, he couldn't notice the distress in your eyes. There's no hope from your mother either who was busy finishing her reports. You groan.

Then it's prom night, you flop down to your messy bed, staring at the untouched chocolate heart-shaped box Jimin had given you two weeks ago. You breathe deeply, pulling yourself from the bed to approach the partly golden box. When you open it again, the message was still there—it's not like it's going to disappear over time. But it felt like yesterday, the chocolate looked good as new, and even smelled as sweet as... him.

You jump through your skin when you hear your mom opens the door without giving a quick knock, making you jolt the box to the floor.

"Mom!" you yell, and she broke into a fit of laughter.

"Sorry, hun. What would you like for dinner?" she asks in her velvet voice, warming the cold night.

"I'm not really eating. You and Dad can decide." Your eyes wander around the room, throwing your ego to ask her a question. "Mom?"

She comes back to the door, leaning on the door frame with one of her hands on her waist. "Yes?"

"This will sound really stupid, but" — you exhale — "how did you know you were in love with Dad?"

She giggles, making you feel more ashamed of the question. She moves to your side, sitting beside you before she speaks. "Well, I didn't know it. I felt it. One day, I hated the sound of his snores, then I woke up next realizing I can't live without them. There's so many things I hated about your dad, but I still love what I hate about him. By the way, your dad had the worst perfume back in the day, but now I can't breathe without it."

You chuckle, suppressing the twinge of dismay filling your mind. "I feel like I made a mistake of letting this boy go."

She gasps. "Why didn't you tell me about this boy?"

"That's not really the point right now," you laugh.

"That's what kids do. You guys make mistakes and you keep making 'em. If you love him, then go for it, honey."

You choke. "You think I love him?"

"Don't you? You don't have to love a person to chase 'em, you chase 'em because you want to love them." She sighs. "You're young, you're not supposed to make the perfect decisions just yet. Don't stress about whether you love this boy or not. If it doesn't work out, you can use the lesson for the next."

"That's more than I need, Mom. Thank you."

She gives you a squeeze on your shoulder before leaving you room.

I screwed up.

You pick the box from the floor, and a picture falls out from it. It took you a while before you could analyze it. A black and white photo of a girl reading a book, very similar to the one in the museum. What caught your attention is you knew who it was, the clothes, the book, the face. It was you back in eighth grade during the book fair, you had your eyes pinned on Wuthering Heights.

With heart racing, you flip the picture to reveal the message behind it.

"To the first girl I fell in love with :)"

Your mouth was left open, frozen in place as you try to process your emotions. You're the girl Jimin was talking about, you were Jimin's eighth grade crush. He had feelings for you just like you had feelings for him back then, and it all came back when you started hanging out with him again.

You wasted no time getting into your hoodie, running downstairs which made your mom look at you in horror.

"Mom, I need the car keys. I made a mistake." Without a nod from her, you grab the car keys and ran to her forbidden Civic.

It's been long since she have let you borrow the car, but it's now or never. It seemed like the perfect timing to tell him how you actually feel, under chandeliers and surrounded by young couples dancing in love. You weren't even sure if he decided to show up to prom as well after your hurtful rejection in front of Seulgi. Or maybe he had changed his mind, choosing to take your advice and actually taking Seulgi to prom.

You brushed the negativity off, pulling in Chelsea Hotel. A parking valet stopping you from entering the hotel, but you shove him from you, quickly running towards the venue. Poor guy just trying to do his job.

You exhale, trying to catch your breath. The room glimmers, a disco ball instead of a chandelier spins on the ceiling. You roll your eyes, your school has always been a disappointment when it comes to decoration. You seek through the students, searching for the pale boy. You only found Sana who was already waving at you, eyes shinning in joy. You give her a sly smile, continuing to look for Jimin. And you found him by the photo booth, approaching him with tiny steps.

"Hi," you greeted.

He looks up from the camera and your words were already backing away, throat thinning when you meet his eyes.

"I am sorry for what I said. I was being narrow and stupid. I shouldn't have said those, you know?" You voice cracks in every word, and he goes back to his camera. "Jimin, please."

You saw him suppress a smile, but it wasn't enough. He was still fiddling with his tripod, fake fixing the stand.

"Fine!" you blurt, walking away from him.

You caught a lot of eyes staring at your outfit as you approach the stage, and you felt nauseated when you reached for the microphone. A blond girl furrows her brows at you, pointing towards her bandmates.

"What are you playing?" you confidently ask.

"Excuse you?" she returns, annoyance obvious in her tone.

"Trust me, I'll let you sing. Just tell me what song are you playing."

"Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer," she says without certainty.

"Look, I can get you in front of the page of our next publication issue. Everyone in the school will know your band, just do me one favor."

She turns to her bandmates and they all nodded. "Spit it out."

"Can you please... play the intro while I have my speech?"

"You got it."

When you said that, you didn't expect them to actually play the intro immediately. But there's no turning back, all eyes were already on you except for Jimin. Everybody gave you looks, obviously aware that you were the one that wrote that hateful feature.

You pat the mic, feedback traveling through everybody's ears. Then you sighed again, prepping yourself.

"I know I've hurt some of you because of what I wrote. I'm sorry to everyone. I was the one wrong, I shouldn't belittle these emotions because we're young. I've come to the realization that whatever we feel now will always matter even in college, even when we're old. Falling in love today doesn't make anyone less of a person, we're young and we're supposed to make mistakes. Fall in love now and fall in love again, it's how stories are made. And to that person I specifically broke, I think I like you." You breathe, picking in your nails. "So, Park Jimin, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

You bit your lip, waiting for the audience's response to your corny speech. And your back straightens when they started clapping, some even yelled "Fuck yeah!" which made you laugh in embarrassment. Your eyes couldn't find Jimin at the moment, and you gave blondie the microphone, letting her continue her performance. You have some deals to make with Yoongi for the next front page.

You walk down the stairs, trying to calm the race of your heart. A hand pulls your waist, plump luscious lips devouring yours. Sweet fragrance entering your senses, you knew who it was.

"That was the cringiest shit you've said," he comments. "I knew you would come."

You roll your eyes. "I think I owe you a meal."

Jimin puts his hand at the small of your back, directing you towards the photo booth. "No, you owe me a story."

(unedited)

539 notes · View notes

the-galaxy-collector · 4 years

Text

heart/beats

Pairing: Derek Hale x Stiles Stilinski

Word Count: 2.1K

Warning(s): fluff, sick stiles, derek hale is bad at feelings

Summary: Stiles gets sick while the gang is away. Derek comes back to check on him.

A/N: I think as is becoming common for me in the Teen Wolf fandom, this just poured out of me with no prior warning and I regret nothing.

Stiles stood up, or he tried, before his body forced him to sit back down on the edge of his bed. He’d been trying to work up both the strength and the courage to take a shower for the past thirty minutes, but he was still here. In the exact same position. Trying not to puke all over his pajamas.

A very attractive look, if he did say so himself.

He closed his eyes and willed the room to stop spinning, but he knew it was pointless. He’d been sick for the last two days and whatever the hell this shit was, it didn't seem to be going anywhere.

Everyone was gone too, which made it worse. They were off saving the world from… something. He couldn’t remember now. Something way more important than Stiles, though. And he wasn’t bitter about it. He knew what they were doing was a big deal. It was just that right now he wanted chicken soup like his mom used to make and someone to tuck him back into bed.

After a shower, he reminded himself. The shower was still a must.

Stiles took a deep, steadying breath and forced himself up with shaky limbs. He held out his arms, forcing himself to remain balanced and upright, as he started to walk forward gingerly.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

He yelped as his eyes popped back open at the noise. He didn’t know he wasn’t alone, and his heart was racing uncomfortably as he clutched his chest now over it.

“What the fuck am I doing?” He gulped. “What the fuck are you doing? Why are you here?”

“You’re sick,” Derek explained bluntly.

“Yes, I am aware of that,” Stiles bit back. “Go. I’m fine.”

“You definitely are not. We need to go to the hospital, Stiles.”

“We need to go to the hospital, Stiles,” he mocked in a high-pitched voice. “You sound like that, you know.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t need to go to the hospital, Derek. You guys are off, ya know, saving the world or whatever. And I’ll be fine. Just go help them.”

“They don’t need my help.”

“And neither do I,” Stiles insisted.

“Why are you like this?” he said, a smile in his voice. “You make me crazy. You know that, right?”

“No,” he replied sarcastically. “Really?”

When he went to roll his eyes at Derek’s stubborn nature, like he’d done a million and a half times, his head pulsed suddenly with a headache so severe it caused him to fall to his knees. Derek was by his side within seconds, his hands on either side of his face as he forced Stiles to look at him.

He pulled back his eyelids one at a time, and whatever he saw there made him hoist Stiles off the floor without a word, and carry him from the room. Stiles wanted to put up a fight, tell Derek to put him down, that he was going to be fine. It was just the flu or something non-lethal to teenagers, but pressed up against Derek’s chest like this was warm and comfortable and he found it very difficult to hold other thoughts in his brain right now.

Derek took him straight outside and propped him up in the front seat of his own car before buckling him in and rushing around to the driver’s side. He knew how much Derek hated the Jeep, which meant that he either was doing it for Stiles’ sake or because he had run all the way here without his own car because it wasn’t fast enough. Stiles wasn’t sure which one was sweeter.

“Stiles, I swear to God,” Derek growled, “if you die, I’m gonna kill you.”

Stiles snorted his laughter despite the pounding in his head, currently radiating out from behind his left eye.

“When’s the last time you ate?” Derek asked softly.

Too softly. Like he was actually worried. Which stressed out Stiles more than he thought it would. Or should.

Stiles shrugged his answer, and even that tiny movement sent a jolt of pain down his spine. But he wasn’t lying. He honestly couldn’t remember when he had put food in his mouth last, which was probably not great.

Derek growled again, and while it was affecting Stiles like it always did, the dull ache covering his entire body pushed any stupid, horny thoughts out of his brain.

At least for now.

He knew they’d be back, especially if Derek was going to stick around. Stiles sort of hated that. Especially since Derek could tell. Hiding things from werewolves, as he’d learned, was not possible. It wasn’t awkward at all.

Yep, he definitely hated that.

Derek continued to slam his foot and the gas pedal all the way to the floorboard as he drove, but it didn’t do any good. It never did. The Jeep was ancient, one of the things Stiles loved about it, and it wasn’t ever going to go faster than this. But Derek was wonderfully impatient, often with Stiles, or things that involved Stiles.

Another endearing quality that would normally make his heart all aflutter. But right now, he was in too much pain.

The sunlight streaming in was making his head hurt worse, though, so he laid it down on the console in between him and Derek and tried not to focus on the fact that the traditionally very grumpy man was rubbing Stiles’ leg absentmindedly as he made his way through the streets of Beacon Hills.

Derek had never been one to touch anyone for any reason, so clearly Stiles was dying. Or Derek thought he was. He couldn’t think of any other reason why he might be doing that, but again, he had no strength left to even ask.

Stiles didn’t think he was ready for the answer. Or, more appropriately, he knew he wasn’t ready for the brush off.

Stiles half expected Derek to pull straight into the emergency room bay where only the ambulances are supposed to go with the way he was acting, but he found a normal spot. And just like when they got into the car, he rushed around and helped Stiles out. Like being away from Stiles for even the shortest amount of time was too much for Derek to handle. Yeah, Stiles was dying and Derek felt bad for him. There were no other explanations.

He even tried to carry him bridal style again, but Stiles managed to put his foot down.

Well, not literally. But he made it clear that wasn’t happening in front of all these people.

He had some dignity left.

The harsh fluorescents assaulted his eyes worse than the sunlight, and he found, once again, that he needed to slam his eyes shut to keep from hurling all over himself. And Derek.

“Oh my God,” Melissa asked from somewhere nearby. “What happened?”

“Well, my idiot has been sick for the last two days and he didn’t call anyone and now I’m afraid he’s dehydrated and about to pass out.”

Melissa giggled at Derek’s assessment as she ushered them back to what Stiles was sure was a room, but all he could concentrate on was the fact that Derek had said my idiot. My idiot. Like Stiles belonged to him.

Not that Stiles would complain if that were true.

Derek put him down on the bed as soon as the door shut behind them and dimmed the lights, allowing Stiles to open his eyes again. Melissa was already rushing around getting things set up as Derek forced him to lay down. He hadn’t even stopped to put shoes on, so when he pulled the covers up to Stiles’ chin, he couldn’t really protest.

Too much anyway.

“Derek, stop,” he said, pushing his hands away. “I’m not an invalid.”

Derek rolled his eyes and sat down in a chair, pulling it up as close to the side of Stiles’ bed as he could get without actually being in the bed.

“All right, Stiles. You ready?”

He nodded as he felt the coolness from an alcohol prep pad next and then hissed loudly as the IV slid into his arm. No matter how many times he’d been forced to do this, it didn’t get easier. And it should be by now, he reasoned, since hanging out with werewolves had some disadvantages. Not many, but some. If you were unlucky enough to be the only human anyway.

Stiles didn’t miss the way that Derek flinched a little at his pain, though, causing his eyebrows to pull in the middle. He was getting more confused, and more concerned, by the second.

Something was definitely going on.

“Honey, I’m gonna take some blood, give you some fluids, and bring some food. Do you think you can eat?”

Stiles shrugged again, swallowing hard as his mouth filled with saliva. The thought of eating anything made his stomach do a flip, which probably wasn’t a good sign, but he could try. He certainly knew he should try.

“I can give you something to help you sleep, if you wanna do that instead, but we’re gonna have to wake you up in, like, an hour to try to get something in your stomach. Or I’m gonna have to feed you some Ensure.”

Stiles wrinkled his nose. “Like they give old people?”

Melissa nodded. “No. Just knock me out and then wake me up later. I promise I’ll try. But do not give me that shi… stuff.”

It didn’t matter how old he got, cussing in front of Melissa always felt wrong somehow. She just laughed quietly, though, and shook her head as she finished hooking him up to everything, forcing Derek to move only when it was absolutely necessary.

A couple minutes after she pushed something directly into his line, he started to feel sleepy. Like actually sleepy. Not this fitful mess he’d been enjoying for over 48 hours.

And he let his eyes close without a word.

He couldn’t be sure if it had been a few minutes or hours, but when he started to wake back up, he heard Derek’s soft voice beside him. He sounded like he might be talking to someone, but since Stiles’ eyelids were still way too heavy to open, he just listened.

As the grogginess slowly lifted, he noticed Derek was holding his hand. Actually holding his hand. In both of his. His head and, more importantly, his lips were resting next to Stiles’ skin. He could feel Derek’s breath.

Wait, am I dead?

“Does he know yet?” Melissa whispered.

“No,” Derek said, just as quiet.

“When are you gonna tell him?”

“Well, I came back to do that and he was about to pass out. I got distracted,” he explained, exasperation taking over momentarily. “But I guess I knew something was wrong.”

“Of course you did,” Melissa insisted. “He’s your mate.”

Mate?!

Okay, Stiles was definitely dead. Or dreaming. Hopefully dreaming. At least that way he could still wake up.

Melissa didn’t wait for Derek to respond before she asked another question. “Talk to Noah yet?”

“Yeah.”

Once again, Derek lapsed into silence. But it wasn’t long before Melissa got irritated with his lack of information on the topic.

“And?” she huffed.

“He told me he’d kill me if I hurt him.”

She laughed again, still as softly as before. Stiles could hear her walk back to the door, enjoying her little private joke.

“Well, you’re safe,” she said, pausing at the threshold. “We both know you’re not capable of that.”

“Mhmm,” he answered.

“Derek?”

“Yeah?” he asked, moving his head to the side.

And suddenly Stiles had a new thing he hated now. The way Derek sounded asking that one question. It was vulnerable, like Derek’s entire nervous system was on the outside. All exposed and raw. He wanted very much to get out of this bed and protect him, but that didn’t make any sense. Derek didn’t need to be protected. It was Derek.

“You’re gonna be great,” Melissa declared.

And then she left him with that, allowing the door to close behind her without waiting for him to argue.

After a few seconds, Derek cleared his throat. “How, uh, much of that did you hear?”

Stiles forced himself to remain as still and quiet as possible, not even allowing his breathing to pick up. He would give Derek an out.

“I can hear your heartbeat, Stiles,” Derek explained. “I know you’re awake.”

Stiles couldn’t help but smirk. It was his go-to response, sure, but it also seemed to fit the occasion.

“Mate, huh?”

Derek groaned loudly and Stiles opened his eyes slowly. “When did you plan on telling me, Sourwolf?”

[come join all the Teen Wolf fandom shenanigans over at the Beacon Hills Preserve Discord Server]

599 notes · View notes

mistabullets · 4 years

Text

Twilight (Kinktober Day #5 - Corruption)

Characters: Takuto Maruki x Reader

Word Count: 3.0k

Summary: You remind Maruki too much of someone.

Content Warning: n/s/f/w, afab reader, fem pronouns, corruption, loss of virginity, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, teacher/student relations, doctor/patient relations, angst, dubcon/noncon cw, mind manipulation/alteration cause of maruki’s persona, older man/younger woman, dubious ethics, maruki calls you by the wrong name, p5r spoilers

Note: I went to town on this. I’ve been wanting to write something with Maruki forever and finally got the inspiration I needed

It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this.

It had started out simple - his relationship with you started out strictly professional. You were one of the seniors who had endured Kamoshida’s abuse, although not to the extent some other students had. You still held on to your high hopes and ambitions despite the pressure of exams weighing you down occasionally. Sessions with Maruki-sensei were relaxing. Unlike your parents and teachers, he listened . He didn’t brush off your complaints and invalidate them, he wouldn’t go off on tirades about how you needed to do better. He truly listened - it made you happy to be heard for once, even if you felt your problems were infinitesimal compared to your peers.

You frequented the nurse’s office. While you had friends who were probably better company than the school’s therapist, you found comfort in his words. You never grew bored or tired of his little lectures - he was researching something about cognition and how to mend the heart of its emotional labors. While he threw in complex words you couldn’t quite grasp, you tried your best to follow along and ask questions if you couldn’t wrap your head around a certain concept. And while Maruki was happy to grant you little tidbits of his knowledge, there was something gnawing at him, something he knew he shouldn’t admit.

Your mannerisms and speech patterns, the conversations you two shared, and your upbeat and quirky personality reminded him of Rumi. Every time your eyes glued on him, inquisitive and attentive, he was reminded of when Rumi would pause her studies, just to listen to him babble about two dots he was able to connect. Then he would recall her touch - lingering kisses, careful caresses, the act of becoming one, the noises that spilled from her lips, the heat that she would engulf him in—

But lately, he would visualize your face; contorted in pleasure, pleading with him oh-so-sweetly, and brows knitted as he speared your virginal walls.

However, he was the adult here. He knew it was wrong and he kept those thoughts locked away from his students. For him to fantasize about such things with a student more than a decade younger was unprofessional. For him to lock the doors after you left and pump his cock fervently to the thought of you was disgusting on his behalf. He tried to bury those carnal desires deep within - and he masked them for quite some time, believing he could simply get over it. His heart still belonged to Rumi and no one could replace her. Certainly, he wouldn’t throw that all away for some replacement, projecting her onto you, right?

But it all came to ahead.

The school was out for the day; most students had already gone home for the evening. Just when he was finished organizing paperwork, he heard his office door slam opened and closed. He glanced up, ready to offer whoever came in through his door some snacks and juice. But he was greeted to the sight of you, tears cascading down your puffy eyes. His chest tightened - he hated to see his students cry… but he didn’t want to see you like this. Usually, he thought of you as resilient and independent but he supposed you needed a shoulder to cry on, every once and awhile.

“Oh my, what’s the matter, L/N?”

He offered you a seat on the couch and sat beside you, offering a box of apple juice. You thanked him in a choked whisper, trying your best to collect yourself. Thank god Maruki had the patience of a saint, giving you ample time to compose yourself and reassuring you it’s okay every time you hiccuped a weak sorry .

You sniffled, “I-I don’t even know where to begin…”

“Take your time,” the counselor reassured.

A moment of silence. The clock ticked. You let out a shaky sigh and swallowed harshly, “T-This is all confidential, right?”

Maruki hesitated for a moment but nodded, “Yes. What happens in this room, stays in this room.”

“Okay… well, t-this is embarrassing. But I trust you the most right now,” you swallowed down your pride, willing the courage, “There’s… this student. We’ve been talking and we, uh… did some things.”

He raised his eyebrows when you paused, hearing you take in a deep and uneven breath. He could hear how broken your pride was - without considering it, he placed a hand on your upper back, rubbing it soothingly, reminding you to go at your own pace. It was welcomed. “Go ahead.”

“I… I really thought he liked me b-but…”

“He broke your heart, huh?”

You nodded, “I… I can’t go back in time. If I would have known… h-how cruel he is… M-Maruki-sensei, what should I do? My heart feels so heavy…” you buried your head into his chest, soaking his dress shirt with fat tear droplets. Awkwardly, he held you there, contemplating how he should properly respond to this situation. He furrowed his brows - he was a damn therapist and couldn’t even give you any advice on the matter. Hearing your cries reminded him too much of Rumi’s - the harrowing tears unstoppable as she was reminded of her trauma. He wanted to make them stop, make them disappear somehow. Life was so unjust, he pondered, forcing you to deal with inevitable heartbreak which would some way or another, define you. It was the seed of mistrust, the loss of innocence, and the beginning of life’s hardships.

He pulled you into his embrace, muffling your pathetic wails into his chest. Maruki noticed a faint throbbing in his head, a distant voice telling him, you can save her, let me help… he clung to that voice, asking himself how he could help, how he could be useful .

And then a flicker of kaleidoscope flooded the peripheral of his vision.

There was a ringing.

And your tears ceased.

“M-Maruki-sensei…”

You forgot why you were crying.

“L-L/N? Are you feeling any better now?”

Oh, right? You confessed your feelings.

“S-Sensei… I…!”

You lifted yourself away from the shirt you just soaked with your tears. Without hesitation, you pressed your lips desperately against his; you tasted coffee from his mouth and wanted more.

Maruki was registering what was occurring - a student was kissing him and he needed to put an end to it, he reasoned. However, before he could push you away, a hand reached down for his crotch. You pulled away from the intoxicating kiss, brain fried with overwhelming love for the man before you. “Takuto… a-are you hard?”

And for a moment, he was reminded of his first time with Rumi - her sweet voice whispering his name, worried about pushing him over the edge, “Takuto…”

Takuto…

“Takuto?”

And he snapped. He didn’t care anymore if this was wrong. He just needed you . He gained control and pushed you back into the couch, pouncing you like an animal. Experienced lips found yours and his tongue easily slipped into your mouth when you let out a gasp. He feverishly rubbed his clothed erection against your soft thigh as his kiss deepened and you were already moaning against his mouth. He needed you out of your uniform; he needed to be out of his clothes. God, he needed you so bad, he wanted you—

“A-Ah, please slow down, t-this is my first time.”

Oh right, you never specified if you were still a virgin or not. “S-Sorry…! Don’t worry, I’ll make you feel good, L/N… I mean, Y/N. Just let me take the lead.”

You nodded and assumed kissing, albeit much more calculated and less desperate. Maruki guided you as he promised. He stripped you of your pesky uniform, discarding them to the floor of his office. All that remained on your body were your simple bra and simple underwear which did not match. Maruki was addicted to the little noises you made under his kisses - you whimpered and sighed his name just like her . He ghosted his lips on the ample flesh of your breast and the experienced hand went unclip your bra, exposing the perky buds. His eager lips suckled and nipped each nipple, his slender hands fondled each mound with gentle calculation. He admired the quick rise and fall of your chest and your heavy pants; he wondered what kind of noises he could draw if he touched you down there. Would it be like Rumi’s?

“D-Do you like this, sensei?” you asked curiously, nervously spreading your legs apart as the older man settled in between them, groaning at the maiden heat of your core. He rutted against your clothed sex, relishing in the mewls you released and wishing he would strip off your panties already. God, you were particularly dripping - he couldn’t tell if it was your essence or his pre-cum that sullied the front of his trousers. And he didn’t care either.

“You’re doing so wonderfully, Y/N. You’re already so wet, my god… I’m going to take off your panties.”

“O-Okay…” and you helped him wiggle out of your underwear. He threw them to the floor, on the pile with the rest of your abandoned attire. While you were exposing yourself to him, you didn’t feel nervous - you trusted Maruki to handle you with care. The counselor gulped when you spread your legs for him, showing off your pretty pink pussy. He steadied his breathing and sighed, nestling him and observing it. Hesitantly, he brought a finger to collect your slick, rubbing the slit up-and-down. It was maddening, overwhelming all of your senses as he experimentally touched and observed your womanhood like it was some sort of specimen. Only when you bucked your hips against his hand did Maruki realize he was making you impatient. He couldn’t help but smile at your eagerness, “Patience, I need to prepare you so you can feel good.”

It was fucked up - how he was so willing to discard his ethics just to be able to relive the feeling of being with her; to fill the void in his heart since her memories were wiped clean. But wouldn’t it be more fucked up to deny your feelings? Sure, you may be confused, but… wouldn’t fall deeper into despair if he rejected you? Not only would you have to suffer through one heartbreak but two. If this helped relieve the stress of that one boy, so be it. If he could help you in the slightest, even if it means tossing morals and logic out the window, so be it. He’ll make sure you’re happy too .

After exploring every inch of your core, his index finger aligned with your entrance and pushed. Oh, did it burn but it was pleasant to have him inside. Maruki leaned down to pepper kisses on your throat and jaw, easing you into the thickness of his finger. When he buried it to the knuckle, he inserted his middle finger and sunk that into your tight heat. You hissed and the older man apologized, reassuring you that it would feel good here soon. You believed him and once you stopped trembling, the discomfort molding into a strange sensation, you told him you were ready. With careful precision, he pumped his digits inside of you slowly - he curiously scissored the canal, preparing you to take something bigger than his fingers.

When he curled his finger against a particular area of your wall, you jolted and cried out. It was just like Rumi’s first reaction, “Ah… I found your g-spot. Good, good… I’m going to go faster and touch that again. You may feel funny at first but I promise, it feels wonderful.”

Before you could question Maruki what he was about to do, you wailed as electricity shot throughout your synapses. You writhed and trembled, your head was flooding and your stomach was taut with a strange feeling. However, you couldn’t ask what this feeling was - not when the counselor kept assaulting your g-spot, particularly finger fucking and rendering you a whining mess. Your hands found purchase in the cushion of the couch, tensing when you felt your pussy throb around Maruki’s fingers. You called out his name and he leaned down to silence your cries with his lips - the faculty should be long gone now but he wanted to be safe. You continued moaning into his mouth - then the strange coil in your stomach exploded and you arched your back, wailing and crying. He continued his ministrations, easing you down from your climax.

“T-Takuto… I-I feel so warm…” you panted, once you came down from your high.

“You just orgasmed. It was beautiful, Y/N,” he said.

“I-I’m glad…” you sighed, your body slumping against the couch. As you were washing up to the shore of your post-climax, you heard the rustling of belts and zippers. You glanced down to see the hard erection of your therapist, the pink head glistening with some fluid of sorts. Trepidation overrode your tranquility.

After seeing you come undone with just his fingers alone, he wanted to see you come undone with just his cock. Your reaction reminded him of her too, when she first offered to blow him. Her eyes had widened in surprise, not believing his cock could have this much girth to it. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought you were her reincarnation. Not hesitating a moment longer, he reached for his pocket to tear open a package of condom (better safe than sorry). He rolled the latex over his length before spreading you open to rub himself with your juices, coating himself with plenty. He wished he had a bottle of lube, just to make sure you were prepared but you were particularly dripping on the couch. You watched nervously, chewing your bottom lips as the head of his cock aligned with your entrance.

Maruki had his manners though. He gave a chaste kiss, littering more to your neck and collarbone before placing his forehead against yours. A hand reached to hold yours. Your free hand went to hold on to the back of his shoulder as he gave another kiss. “This may hurt… just relax, breathe in and out, and tell me when you’re ready, okay? … Are you sure about this?”

You nodded, giving him a demure smile as you took a gulp of air, preparing for the intrusion.

And he pushed in his bulbous head inside and you whimpered pitifully. You squeezed his hand until your knuckles turned white. Carefully, he pushed further in and knocked the wind out of you - you cried out and he paused, whispering sweet nothings and apologies. Once you were calm, he continued, and finally, his heavy balls rested against you. “Good girl, now just tell me when you move… on your cue,” he praised, leaving more ghost kisses on your vulnerable skin. You shuddered, adjusting to the painful thickness impaling your insides. However, the pain was quick to fade to only mild discomfort - it was bearable now.

“T-Takuto, nngh… y-you can move now.”

He smiled gently and carefully moved out before slowly thrusting back in. His rhythm was slow and tactful, giving you time to adjust to the feeling of sex. The initial discomfort swirled and spiraled into intense pleasure. When you moaned for more, you received more. Maruki picked up the pace - and his kisses became harsher. His head was buried in the crook of your neck and he nipped the side of it, leaving behind a red-purple bruise. That made your nerves sing and made you mewl, “T-Takutooooo~ Go harder, go faster, p-please…!”

Groaning, the older man readjusted your legs, pressing them against your shoulders so he could fuck your sweet pussy even deeper. You moaned, back arching as Maruki started to pound your oversensitive cunt. He was impossibly deep, you swear you were going to break apart on his thick cock. You continued crying and singing how good he felt, how happy you were that he was your first, and how you were wanted more. Your thighs smacked together, his balls hitting your ass deliciously, and his groin swiveled against your needy clit. His big cock was wrecking your insides and rearranging your guts, and his pace was growing desperate. He would ram the entirety of his length deep inside until the tip kissed your womb before switching it up and jackhammering into your tight walls with abandon. It made your toes curl, made you dig your fingernails into the meat of Maruki’s shoulder, and god, were you about to orgasm again?

Yes, you’re cumming again, Maruki thought as he panted against your sweat-slicked skin, relishing in your virginal tightness. He released your hand to quickly rub your swollen clit - he rubbed and rubbed ferocious circles, groaning when your pussy gripped onto his cock like a vice. Losing himself to your unbearably warm cunt, he began singing a name.

“Rumi, Rumi, Rumi…! I love you…! I’m gonna cum…!”

But rather than question the name that didn’t belong to you, you held him closer, telling him you’re going to follow him over the peak. “T-Takuto, I-I love you…!”

And the two of you exploded. He spilled himself inside while you milked his cock for more.

And while he was crying out someone else’s name like a mantra, you were praising him, seemingly not minding this. Once he finished spending the last of his seed inside of you, he collapsed on top of you. He was exhausted and didn’t seem to realize he was murmuring that stranger’s name again in your ear. Instead of shrinking into the couch out of hurt, you clung to him, peppering kisses to the side of his neck.

“I love you, R̼̗̗̹̻̄ͭͦ͌͜u̶͙̱͌ͩm̺̠͉̥͖͖ͯ͢i̖͕͚͗̽̓…”

" Y/N…"

You smiled. You loved how your name left his lips.

“I love you too, Takuto…”

You glanced out toward the window.

It's twilight now.

#my writing #scenario #takuto maruki #maruki x reader #persona 5 x reader #persona 5 royal #persona 5 royal spoilers #dubcon cw #corruption cw #mind manipulation cw #loss of virginity #persona 5 #takuto maruki x reader #kinktober 2020 #not sfw

122 notes · View notes

ohshitmomitsawritingblog · 4 years

Note

Aight my friend I'm here to give you your first post I got you For the Alphabet Soup: Obito, Madara, Deidara, Kakashi, Zetsu, Kisame, Sasori. You ofc do not need to do all, just given some variety; pick and choose, also choose whatever letters you want, my brain can't comprehend so many letters rn Have fun ily

Puca bless u this first post is gonna be a Fat One Folks

Deidara

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Deidara wants to do new stuff all the time, full stop. He’s perpetually uncomfortable with a distinct routine, which he’d consider being stagnant. With his S/O, he’d be down to do anything once - maybe the one bit of consistency in their relationship is his need to be around his partner on a pretty regular basis.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He thinks complaining to his partner is a good excuse to tell them about his day.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Surprisingly pretty understanding! I’ve always seen Deidara as being incredibly independent and assumes others feel similarly, so it’s not like he’ll ever be overly dotting, but he will be considerate. In pain? Go lay down. Need help with something? He’ll lend a hand. That being said, he can be a little egotistical so while he anticipates his partners physical needs often, he can be apt to not check in with them emotionally and sometimes doesn’t consider their views on things. Youth, ya know?

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

‘Hey, you!’

Lmao, he’s a little rude and not the type for being publically sweet to his S/O - in fact I think he’d see it as a kind of weakness or source of embarrassment - so he’d probably come off as a little gruff when addressing them, as if subconsciously compensating for how sweet he really is on them.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Decent. He’s not overly passionate, but he gives surprisingly comforting kisses. But. There’s a learning curve. His first kiss with his S/O involved a lot of knocking of noses and clacking teeth. He takes their face by the chin when he kisses.

Kakashi

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Kakashi probably likes his S/O because they’re tenacious and on the ball in terms of their own goals - of course he 100% supports them doing their own thing, and he deeply believes that they’ll achieve whatever they set their mind to. So much so that it doesn’t cross his mind that they could fail.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Their name. Kakashi nearly passed out reading very innocent phrases from Icha Icha, I think he’d actually choke on his own tongue if he even attempted calling his S/O something like ‘dear’ for like. Years. That’s reserved for the bedroom. 😌

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Reading! Exploring the village! I get the impression that Kakashi and his S/O are partial to late night dinner and drinks with friends - especially on cool, smokey nights. Going to obscure bookshops is a big second, and I can see Kakashi enjoying quiet, laid back art scenes - that giant ass painting in his apartment speaks of a taste for impressionist scenery. I feel like Kakashi likes washing the dishes or cooking dinner with his S/O best! They talk about their days, or they just enjoy the silence of working together.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Sitting next to them. Existing in the same space. If his partner is the type to clearly need physical affection during a crisis, I can see Kakashi being the type to sit next to them and press his shoulder to their’s, or to rub small circles on their back. If they’re crying or are generally on the shorter side, he’ll press his mouth and nose into their hair. It’s his way of telling them ‘I see you, and I’m not turning your pain away’.

Furthermore, Kakashi struggles with himself and what his needs as a person are, and isn’t sure how to relate to his partner beyond being a solider or comrade, and desperately doesn’t want to invalidate his S/O’s feelings, as his own have in the past. He also has no idea what to say, other than going off his his own desperate attempts to make sense of his grief, anxiety, and sadness, but often feels like that doesn’t cut it. The pain may, at the root, be similar, but his S/O’s suffering his their own, so he tries not to say anything at all. I think he especially deeply reflects his S/Os feelings when they’re feeling hurt or sad and it shows in those small physical cues.

To quote Cole from Dragon Age: his hurt touches their’s.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Kakashi kisses are electrifying - he’s so soft and sweet but so intense. Lots of pecks are his style versus one long kiss. When he first kisses his S/O, it’s almost a little sad, though they can’t place why at the time. He cups his S/O’s face in his hands when he kisses them.

Kisame

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Hiking! Swimming! I feel like Kisame would be the type to like to distance himself from civilization during his scant bits and pieces of free time, and would genuinely enjoy the experience nature would offer, any time of year. When he feels restless, I could see him wondering away from his campsite and just exploring the area. Alternatively, I can see him enjoying the stillness of it all. I can see him enjoying a deserted stretch of beach with his S/O, not a soul around but them, watching the spring grey clouds or the washed out blue waves and just taking it all in. Very zen.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Kisame makes it a policy to have zero secrets from his S/O. He doesn’t, by nature, have a taste for lying, but his work and duty have dictated that he lie or, at best, stretch the truth more times than he can count over the years, and now he despises. If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed. That being said, Kisame is human, and I think there are things he’s done that he elects not to volunteer unless directly asked.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Kisame understands his partner and their needs well - I don’t think he rushes into relationships (in fact I think he shies away from anything more than casual interactions more often than not) and I don’t think he wouldn’t take his time truly understanding how his partner ticks. He doesn’t pry, but Kisame is a good spy and a smart man and he observes what his S/O says and does (and reads between those lines) on a consistent basis.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

If Kisame’s partner is female, I feel like he definitely calls her by ‘woman’ affectionately. He’s a little old fashioned like that and I can picture him growing up around adults who referred to their own partners like that. Kisame is one of those men who expresses his affection for his partner through the way he speaks (low pitched voice, soft and just loud enough for you to hear, for instance) versus what he says, so nicknames aren’t really his thing.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He kisses tenderly, and is kind of stiff - but the more he does it, the more he falls in step with his partner and their likes and dislikes. Not good or bad. The first kiss with his S/O was a simple press of their lips, nothing super passionate, and a little awkward.

Sasori

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Absolutely does not like his routine messed with, and, presumably, neither would his partner. Sasori seems like one of those people who are absolutely adverse to any kind of change and isn’t too thrilled with the idea of ‘spicing things up’. He’s there, he’s present, that’s enough right?

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

One of the simplest, most profound expressions of love for Sasori is acts of service - particularly putting a blanket over his partner if they fall asleep without any covers. He’ll never admit it, though.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

That’s a big ol’ no from me dawg. Sasori is just set in his ways and kind of a prick when it comes to anything messing with his plans and how he views the world. If his S/O did slowly influence or help him overcome anything though, I think it would be his consistent rejection of intimate relationships. Like, Sasori has spies, Sasori has informants, Sasori has Akatsuki teammates and associates, but hardly any of them see his ‘true form’ and even less actually like him. He’s a hard man - whose hard on others - who very ruthlessly destroyed his relationship with his sole living relative AND single handedly threw his birthplace into chaos by murdering the third Kazekage.

For him to even toy with the idea of having an S/O, he’d have to really, REALLY like them. He’d have to put aside a lot of subconscious fears and complexes and decide, at the vert least, that he wants them. That’s a huge change, for him, and not one he can fully commit to 24/7. Basically, his S/O changes him before they even get together. Good luck trying to squeeze anything else out of him.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

‘Woman’/‘brat’/‘boy’. Sasori is kind of a dick and he definitely means it as half a put down, half letting anyone in the vacinity know who his S/O belongs to.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Noooope. Sasori doesn’t do affection well, isn’t super inclined to kisses even when he has a human body, and as a puppet, he’s kind of stiff. The first kiss with his S/O is a quick press of the lips to the head or temples - not much of a kiss at all, but for Sasori, it means a lot.

Madara

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Have you watched Naruto?

Yes. Absolutely. Madara has lost so much, and when he connects with someone enough to presumably fall in love with them and pursue a relationship, it’s for the long haul. Madara’s love means Madara’s protection means Madara’s almost obsessive worrying he hides under twenty layers of coo cool, smooth boyfriend material. Worst case scenario, Madara will kill a man for his S/O, and won’t feel bad about it. Worser case scenario, he’d endeavor to create a false dream world where there’s no strife, war, or death, and no choice. ☺️

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Physical activities! Hunting, rock climbing, falconry, hell, even cleaning - i can see Madara’s idea of a relaxing time being cleaning out a shed or re-organizing his office! Presumably his S/O would either be similarly inclined or would indulge him. It does need done after all! There’s something about these all consuming, mentally stimulating activities that i can see Madara truly enjoying. He’d come out feeling refreshed. When feeling less adventurous, or maybe even, gasp, lazy, I can see Madara and his S/O playing board games, practicing calligraphy together, or painting.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

In a long term relationship? Madara definitely sees a future where his S/O is Lady or Lord of the house, deeply involved with clan matters, and maybe, if they’re wanting and capable, with some kids running around. Keep in mind I imagine large families were common amongst the Uchiha pre-Konoha merge, so his idea of ‘some’ probably means five at the least. He has no real expectations of how his S/O would orchestrate themselves - beyond well, that is. He likes them for them, and doesn’t deign to even toy with the idea of putting them in a box, even in his head. The bottom line is: they’re together, and they’re strong together, and the world they build together is sturdier than the one they came into.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

A repeat question, but on the more emotional side: I think Madara, for the longest time, genuinely wishes for a future in which he and his S/O live quietly, and well. It’s in that bittersweet way though, the way someone wishes when they don’t necessarily think it’ll ever come true.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Not well. Madara is naturally inclined to pinning and has some intense separation anxiety - which no one would ever know because he’d rather die than show just how much he misses his S/O. Madara, paraphrasing John Mulany, stuffs all his feelings deep deep deep down, and he plans to die like that. He just doesn’t cope, and the longer they’re apart the grumpier he gets. He pouts when alone, almost - but not quite - spaces out during meals, and busies himself with the finer details of cleaning equipment. Anything to shake the creeping dread that digs up his spine. Around his S/O’s return, he presses kisses to the nap of his S/O’s neck, just at their hairline, when they’re finally alone; if still around people, Madara has a habit of watching their neck and mouth, but says nothing that gives himself away.

Obito

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Going under the assumption that he has an S/O during the canon timeline? It’s not the sweetest confession in the world. He’s very to the point: his S/O is his. I can’t ever see him saying the world love, even if his body language expresses it loud and clear. He’ll run his fingers over their cheeks, press his forehead to their’s, and his stare? His stare could peel wallpaper, kill, and undress his S/O all at the same time. He’s just real intense and tongue tied at the same time.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

As a kid? Obito is painfully obvious. As an adult with all the maladjusted neurosis boiling under that hood of his? It’s not at all obvious. Obito is a busy man, what with the stirring of many pots and scheming and LARPing as Tobi, local terrorist cell’s local idiot. If he does show his love for his S/O, it’s like a leaking faucet; he doesn’t mean to touch their hand with the back of his, but he does it anyway. He doesn’t mean to look at them as they retreat from a meeting, but he does. It’s the little, tender things that hemorrhage from his cold half dead little heart.

Bonus: if this is a post ‘canon’ au where Obito lives and is the weird, kind of unstable, under house arrest for international dream crimes uncle of the Boruto gen, I can see him being much more open. Super clingy - prone to mood swings where he can become his old, cold self, but that’s just the package deal - a little pouty, and incredibly sweet on his S/O. He’s all hugs when they gets home, his hand pressed firmly to their lower back as they walk the village (probably breaking all kinds of rules in the process) and way more inclined to agree with you or go along with your plans. Everyone knows he’s his S/O’s man because he’s proud and loud about it.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Their relationship is deeply important to Obito. I would say in terms of importance, only the moon’s eye plan trumps his S/O - how he reconciles with these two deeply potentially conflicting facts? He doesn’t. He just assumes they’re on board. Other than that, he will put his partner above everything and everyone else, with an emphasis on their physical safety.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Dominate, even in a post-canon-I’m-alive! AU. Obito has an unhealthy relationship with control, and while he’s not one to want to dominate his S/O’s will, he would almost expect his S/O to follow his lead.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Very very romantic and cliche, although Obito reigns in his more dreamy impulses (flowers or picnics, stuff he daydreamed about as a kid) well. His direct displays of affection or ‘dates’ are few and far in between, and very lowkey. He’ll bring his S/O something he’ll know they like - a string of dried flowers grown only in a particular a temple from the land of Fire, a polished, perfectly oval turquoise rock from the land of Wind. He’ll mail them to his S/O or, more likely, leave these little gifts in places he knows they’ll find them. His idea of a good time, of a happy time with his S/O, is quiet nights where plans and identities are put aside, and they can rest or talk about nothing or go for a simple walk. His biggest daydream he still toys with as an adult is getting caught in the rain and kissing his S/O while they’re both soaked.

Zetsu

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Well Zetsu is an alien prince(?), and a plant, and generally kind of weird. That being said, I think he’s very upfront about his S/O and their relationship! There’s definitely a gap in time where he talks nonstop about his S/O and uses any chance to bring them up. Obito toys with the idea of offing them just to get him to shut up. In terms of kissing or physical affection in front of others though? He’s a nervous wreck/directly dismisses the idea.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Honestly, I feel like his S/O would have to confess to him, rather than the other way around. They casually mention liking him, he scoffs, only for them to insist, and it ends with a very vaguely embarrassed plant ‘accepting’ their feelings.

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

What can you do with a plant man? Probably spying, or exploring various places - he isn’t particularly in awe of nature like Kisame, but he likes the quiet and having his S/O all to himself. I can see him liking cards, too.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

‘Babe’ comes to mind - he doesn’t quite get the whole ‘affectionate nickname’ thing humans do, but he likes the sound of babe in particular.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Nope! Zetsu is just happy to have his S/O present, even if they’re presumably just another human who eventually will be swept away in his mother’s plans. He still loves them, and he’s willing to do whatever they’d like in the time they have together.

#obito uchiha #sasori #kakashi hatake #madara uchiha #kisame #zetsu #naruto imagines #obito x reader #sasori x reader #kakashi x oc #madara x reader #kisame x reader #deidara x reader #deidara #zetsu x reAder #fluff alphabet

1K notes · View notes

argumentl · 3 years

Text

The Freedom of Expression Ep 14 - The Party To Protect The People From The NHK (N Koku Party) commences "Same sex, same name stealth operation".

K: Hi this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, starting this episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome....Well, recently, who knows whats really happening?

J: Yeh, its troubling. I've been spending a lot longer looking at my phone and computer. I've been getting a lot of coupons. My favourite shops or brands are all going online...well, no ones going into the shops, so they can only sell online. So i've been getting coupons like, if you spend over a certain amount, you'll get 20,000yen off.

T: I see.

J: I think like, 'Waa, I wanna spend!'..but then I think, actually since April, I've had less work so I need to restrain myself. I experience this conflict every day for about 15mins. Like, whats wrong with me?

T: I see.

J: Thats thier strategy.

K: If you have free time...

J: Thats it.

K: You'll end up spending money.

J: Normally, they have expirations, and I just think 'Aghh', so its really...

K: You can't help buying stuff, right?

J: I do end up buying stuff!

K, T: *laugh*

J: I really do! I bet there are people out there addicted to coupons! Aren't you? Are you ok?

K: Well, im ok. I just shop by mail order.

J: Ahh

T: I see

J: People are shopping like that a lot right now.

T: Hiranabe san, who works at our place, he's got a lot of offers from night time establishments, and he's troubled as to what to do.

J: Oh, to get him to go there?

T: Yeah. He got an unprecedented amount of messages.

K: (quietly) Unprecedented?

T: Like, 'please come, please come, please come'.

K: He only gets them now? Cause he'll be quick to spend.

J: How is Hiranabe san doing?

T: Well, as expected, he seems scared. He's in his 50s, it looks like he finally understands that his life might be in danger if he caught the virus. He wears a mask, he wears pollen protection glasses. When he goes outside he's like..'the virus won't get in my eyes'.

J: Sounds like a terrorist! Thats just like him.

T: He flipped 180°. He used to be the guy who says, 'Im not wearing a mask'.

J: Oh, really?

T: He's that different now.

J: Well, Im a similar age to Hiranabe san...

T: I can't believe it!

K: I can't believe it.

J: So, what was it?..Its risky, if you are over 50 its more dangerous?

K: Ohh right, yeah.

J: If you catch it, there's a higher death rate at this age?

T: Also, men are more at risk, right?

K: Yeah.

T: They are saying the death rate is higher for men.

J: Well, we are among that group. Shall we get on with the main topic? I thought we'd go with a topic that is unrelated to corona this time.

' "N Koku Party's 'same name, same sex' stealth strategy for Shizuoka no.4 district Lower house by-election". With the death of Mochizuki Yoshio, the LDP's former environment minister, candidates standing for election are the LDP's Fukuzawa Youichi, an independent group of the unified opposition's Tanaka Ken, independent candidate Yamaguchi Kenzo, and the Party Against the NHK (N Koku Party)'s Tanaka Ken, whose name is the same as the unified opposition's candidate. N Koku's Tanaka Ken uses the same kanji, and has the same reading as the unified opposition's Tanaka Ken. The opposition parties, electoral commission, and local media are racking thier brains about it. If a vote is for 'Tanaka Ken', there will be no way to distinguish between the two. Its a proportional division system, so ambiguous votes will be split according to the overall percentage of votes. The electoral administrative committee have taken measures to change the rule that makes a ballot paper invalid if it includes anything other than a candidate's name, to allow a candidate's age to be written aswell. As a result of this, with the aim of reducing ambiguous votes, the unified opposition are promoting 'Tanaka Ken - Age 42' in thier election cars, posters, and online in order to attract votes. On the other hand, N Koku's Tanaka Ken surprisingly hasn't taken any action. He has refused pre-election interviews with the media, hasn't published an campaign bulletin, he doesn't appear in election posters, he has no plans to visit the area. There are expected to be people voting who are unaware that two Tanakas are standing for election. As for N Koku's aim, their leader, Tachibana, had this to say.."We want to test how the votes will be split when there are candidates with exactly the same name. We are not appealing for votes either online or on the ground. We are a weak political party, and want to know how we stand *1'.

There's also suggestion of running another female candidate named Koike Yuriko for Tokyo governer. I thought we could talk about this kind of same name/sex disturbance strategy which the N Koku party has set up.

T: Its amazing, isn't it?

K: So are they doing it to siphon votes?

J: It seems like it, yeah. Especially, that would be the aim if it was for Tokyo Governor.

T: They said they wanted to test how the votes would be split, so like you said Joe, for Tokyo Governor, if it was someone else called Koike Yuriko, they would want to get the data of how the votes are split.

J: Well, its not about freedom of expression, but there is nothing illegal about what they are doing in terms of the election, so its totally ok for them to do this. What do you think, Kaoru?

K: Well..*laughs*, even if you ask.....its interesting but...how will it end up? But, well, hmmm...its fine, isn't it?

J: As it happens, I've been on a radio event with Tachibana san once. And also...well, in this kind of election, a candidate who no one is expected to vote for is called a bubble candidate, the most famous example is Mac Akasaka. I've worked with Mac Akasaka before, so I've listened to what these kind of guys have to say. I mean, certainly, these guys are laughed at and made fun of a lot, but apart from the question of what Tachibana Takashi is doing, to be a candidate for Tokyo Governor, you have to pay a deposit of at least 3 million yen. And if you recieve under a tenth of the total valid votes, you have to forfeit your deposit. The Tokyo Governor elections get about 5 million votes, so if you get under 500,000 votes, you will lose your deposited 3 million yen. As for national elections, the deposit is 6 million yen. So you can call it a prank all you like, but they are spending a lot of money to do this. What a lot of bubble candidates will tell you is, its not free, so they are doing this with the intention to win, they do think thier ideas will improve the country, improve thier party. If there was no financial risk, it would end up at the level of annonymous postings on SNS. But after they've actually paid money, most of them will start electoneering. Making election posters costs money, and there's the cost of gas to run a car to go handing out flyers, and all sorts of things like that. It will end up costing another huge chunk of money in election costs. So in doing this, there is another side to these guys other than, 'they are just idiots'. Maybe they are trying to get people to change the way they see elections, instead of just routinely voting for the faces they know.

T: Well this case has great advertising effectiveness.

J: It does, yeah.

T: Tachibana san's name has really been sold with this.

J: It has.

T: Like, with his own business, and on you tube and stuff *2.

J: Well, as for my personal opinion, I remember Uchida Yuuya running for Tokyo Governor. You can still find his political broadcast on youtube, its great. If you compare Yuuya san to Tachibana san, honestly, Tachibana san seems to have more of a knack for it.

T: Its interesting seeing that kind of political broadcast on NHK. ????*3

J: Well, even in times such as these, we are still having elections. From now on, due to corona we'll probably see new ways to vote and new ways to do all sorts of other things.

K: Its created a need to re-think things, like with the custom of personal seals...in Japan there's a big custom of 'You have to do it this way', or 'You need it on paper'.

J: Yeah, as you mentioned Kaoru, the custom of using personal seals...in the end, even Japan's IT minister also stands as the head of the organization to retain personal seals. Somehow in Japanese society, one of the things companies insist on is the personal seal. There are those who ask why they can't just settle things digitally, but if the minister responsibile for advancing IT is also the head of a group advocating to retain the personal seal, there is a clash going on now. This is the kind of time to think about changing the political system.

T: Things would change a lot if we switched to online voting.

J: They would change, yeah. If young people started voting a lot online...

K: Yeah, right now, in the situation we have now, I think people are starting to think about future.

J: Yes, in that respect, although its very difficult with corona around, I feel like we are starting to wake up to the things we have just put up with till now. I mean, what comes next? In particular, with coronavirus, a lot of countries' governments have taken on huge powers, and in some countries its almost like a corona dictatorship. So, its very difficult, but we really need to slightly re-think the way we carry out elections and the way the state operates from now.

T: We, ourselves are a part of it, right?

J: Yes, yes...Yep, so, same sex, same name...it even hard to search for him. I wonder what this candiate actually intends. ?????*4

K: He's not showing his face much.

J: What will he do if he wins? ...Eh? Hello??

K: Is he sleeping?

Kami: Yes, yes.

J: Were you asleep, Kami?

Kami: No, I was waiting till you called on me.

J: Oh, you were waiting? Oh, sorry.

Kami: I've had a thought.

J: Oh, have you?

Kami: I have...Um, Joe should run for the N Koku Party.

J: *laughs*

K, T: Ohhh

J: Me?!

T: Thats a good idea.

J: Would it be ok, though?

T: In the Tokyo Governor election.

J: In the Tokyo Governor election? Which election?

Kami: It would be ok, yeah.

J: Would it?

Kami: Yeah, anything is ok.

J: *laughs* You couldn't participate in the election could you, Kami? You don't have voting rights?

Kami: No, I don't, but instead, I can make myself into substance.

J: What?

Kami: By pretending to be a citizen.

T: Prentending to be a citizen?

J: Oh, is that it?

K: So that means you could pile up votes for someone?

J: Right?

Kami:...No, I can only do it once.

J: Oh, so you can only take on substance once?

Kami: Yeah, yeah...a bit like Devilman.

T: Ah, like Devilman.

J: But if you could do that, surely you'd be able to do it will two or three people? I feel as if you've just made that up.

*K laughs*

J: Did you just make that up, Kami?

Kami:...Yes, I did.

K: *laughs*

J: He did.

K: I feel like his heart hasn't been in it for a while now.

T: *laughs*

J: Kami, has your mind been elsewhere?

Kami: Ye...uh, no no no.

K: He said yes!

J: *laughs*

Kami: Crush the NHK.

J: Yes, crush it.

K: Well, on that note, I think we can finish here. Thank you, please tune in next time. Please subscribe, thank you very much.

J: Please do.

Kami: Vote for Joe!

*1 I think the confusion arises here, because rather than ticking a box, Japanese voters have to actually write down the name of the person they are voting for.

*2 Think thats what he meant.

*3,4 Couldn't catch these bits.

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #kaoru #薫

17 notes · View notes

dreamsafterhours · 4 years

Text

college boyfriend!markhyuk au series: III (mark’s pathway)

a universe in which roommates!markhyuk meet each other's s/o in class

markhyuk are roommates, my/n and dy/n are roommates, mark and dy/n take classes together and so do donghyuk and my/n — how will their fates intertwine?

genre: fluff pairings: mark+my/n (fem), donghyuk+dy/n (fem), platonic!mark+dy/n, platonic!donghyuk+my/n format: dotpoint AU universe: non idol, college bf warning: some swearing

masterlist

or click here to meet your soulmate, paediatrics!donghyuk!

II ⇤ | III | ⇥ IV

III: 별빛이 내린다 샤라랄라랄라라 (2+2=4)

the meeting of two souls: mark & my/n

hi hello good day how are you? i hope you're well today/tonight this is like 3 weeks late isn't it :D pls don't come after me i lost some motivation to write for a while but here i am now so let's get to it!!

aight so you met donghyuk's roommate for the first time yesterday and,,

you honestly had NO IDEA someone could be that cute

highkey regretting not asking for his name but you were so caught up in lingering on the fact that he implied you were pretty , like wHO DOES THAT ASDFKJL

you highkey shouted the verbal equivalent of a keyboard smash with ur roommate and she was all !! oh so this guy cute cute

you were contemplating whether or not to sneakily ask donghyuk for his name but you were worried bc hyuk has,, crazy sense when it comes to reading people and seeing through their words

and honestly you didn’t want to have to deal with hyuk potentially teasing the shit out of u for having a maybe crush on his roommate whom u’d just met

so you just beat your pillow sleep on it after your roommate reminds you it’s getting late and no life decisions should be made after 12am!! live by it

you wake up craving jjajangmyeon but alas if you were to get any satisfaction of that kind of hunger, it was going to have to wait because

~~ we love ~~ packed schedules ~~ in this house ~~

i hopes the sarcasm was noted in that previous sentence bc now u wish for life to cease

4 weeks into the semester and you were drowning in the midst of reports and lab pracs and content and revision

you were ready to ascend to the next life with only regret and an ability to vaguely explain the properties of a prokaryotic cell and endosymbiosis

but honestly donghyuk’s been a big help throughout the past month

your only friend in classes

official study buddy

2am revision session consultant

personal older brother bc he claimed you as his adoptive sister

another reason your roommate told you to go to bed was bc you literally have

a tutorial class + 2 consecutive 1.5 hour lectures + a 3 hour lab class to finish your day off

with no break for lunch in between :’((

looks like you’ll be starving through your library study session with dy/n

but oop

you find that dy/n had stayed up long after you’d fallen asleep writing her essay

leaving your dorm feeling a twinge of guilt that u might have distracted her from focusing on her work to listen to your rambles and kept her up later than she should have been

but a text from her in the afternoon reassures u that honestly she wasn’t even planning to write that essay and The Feels™ had just hit her last night and that she made it to class

you: oh PHEW that’s good

you: sorry i didn’t wake you up on my way out, u looked so peaceful i couldn’t bear to disturb

dy/n 🦁: dw dw it’s all g i made it n e way

dy/n 🦁: also is it cool if my friend and his friend comes to the study sesh as well we have to go through some lecture content

you: ah yes don’t see why not :)) i’ll probs have my earphones in the entire time anyways lmao won’t affect me

but will it

“who u texting in the middle of diffusion” cue hyuk peering over at the phone you’re hiding in your lap

you click your tongue at him and lock your phone, “someone twice the man you’ll ever be”

he gasps in mock horror like he’d just witnessed a murder as quietly as he can ,,

“you’re texting a guy? in the middle of diffusion?”

“no. my roommate lmao”

“and what? is it me or your roomma—”

“—my roommate” you glance back up at the prof without looking at him

“ouch”

“you dare?”

“if i don’t dare, who will”

and due to this exchange, you miss the osmosis slide

“ah shit what was osmosis again”

“lmfao what makes u think i know that”

(pause)

“isn't it just.. net movement of free water molecules from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration”

sorry my bio neural pathways are being excited again after being revisited for the first time in two years

/stares at him/ “why was that infuriating to hear from u”

after class you prepare to head to your dreaded 3-hour lab class you have with donghyuk but he stands up and stares into the void blankly

“where am i going”

“where do u think”

“oh, hell, most likely”

you scoff at the accuracy and drag him out of the lecture hall

you look at donghyuk and he’s visibly resisting the urge to poke your cheek when he first puts on his gloves

“what’s with you today”

he stares at his hands forlornly, “idk ask that to my timetable”

“week 4 got u dead huh”

he glances at you with a frown, “don’t act like u’re not dying too”

“damn. touché”

to your dismay, the lab class runs later than scheduled and you get out of it 20 minutes after it was meant to finish but luckily it’s your last class

with a quick goodbye to donghyuk and a text letting dy/n know you were going to be a lil late, u stop by ur dorm to pick up ur textbook before rushing to the library

you were highkey exhausted and just. famished by that point

but a promise is a promise and you weren’t going to back out of one now

especially when you felt like you owed your roommate one and it was you who originally suggested a library session

so you get to the library, bag strap slung over your shoulder, checking the photo of the seats dy/n had saved for you in the library

highkey getting lost once or twice but you manage

you get to the general area and spot dy/n sitting at a four-seater (wow how’d they get that) but you

freeze when you see who’s sitting next to her

it’s ??

????????

????????????????

/error 404/

????????????????

????????

ur heart goes into panic mode bc

it’s not even kidding it’s donghyuk’s roommate

and despite ur brain short-circuiting

you manage to remember that dy/n had said that mentioned her friend’s.. roommate.. also coming along..

and if her friend was donghyuk’s.. roommate..

you: : )

you: oh my god they were roommates

and speak of the devil

“oh hey fancy seeing u here”

you turn around and it’s donghyuk legit chills right there

you barely reply a “hi”

“i thought u were going to ur dorm for dinner”

“ah yeah—no i’m.. gonna go over some.. diffusion”

“oii! over here dude” his roommate whisper-yells out at donghyuk

dy/n waves at you “heYY my/n”

donghyuk waves and turns back to you “welp i’m gonna join a study group.. you could join if you came alone? i’m sure they won’t mind”

“about that”

“u waiting for someone?”

“i’m going over there too”

“what?”

he glances over at the table and then back to you

“that’s my roommate. right there next to your roommate”

you point her out and then donghyuk’s jaw drops

“what the fUC—” and you both. burst iinto laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation

like ?? how???

“wOW r u KIDDING”

“HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN”

“talk about a coincidence.. oh my god my cheekbones hurt” he says as he clutches his side

so you get to the table and dy/n tries to introduce u to donghyuk’s roommate

“mark, this is my/n, my/n this is mark”

ah yes so mark is his name, you think

cute name for a cute boi

“nice to meet you again, mark”

dy/n: “?? again?”

mark gives u a rlly wide smile “yeah we’ve met. hi my/n”

you swear you’ve never had your heart flutter like this

fdksoafjadgioarigilf

then mark introduces dy/n to donghyuk and they start talking about how they’re your legal guardian and telling the other to “get in line”

leaving you in middle like “ok mum and dad” but also thinking back to when donghyuk was highkey flirting with you,, and now how he’s flirting with dy/n ,, oh dude he’s flirting

and highkey ,,, you don’t have any hard feelings about it ,, you know she’s also got this kind of humour code and she’s far more comfortable with meeting new people

until dy/n jokes about custody rules and donghyuk replies with “who says we’re split”

ok mum and dad

n e ways you came to study and study you will

so you settle down and go through your notes for the day

albeit being a lil distracted by mark who sits right across from you somehow, somewhy,,

somewhy should be a word you can’t tell me how to english

you keep wanting to steal glances at him but you have to physically restrain yourself from doing so

and also donghyuk who keeps poking u under the table and texting u even though he’s right next to you

💩hyuk: bro

you: wHAT

💩hyuk: nvm lol

you: im boutta slap u. give me my pen back i saw that

💩hyuk: damn

💩hyuk: also r u hungry

you: terribly

you: why

💩hyuk: does ur roommate have any allergies

you: not that i know of

you: again

you: why

you: u buyin?

💩hyuk: 🤡<- you

💩hyuk: 🤡, how do you feel about dinner

you: invalid question. no variable answer

💩hyuk: alright, 🤡. im not buying for u

you glower at him but he isn’t looking at u,, he leans back and laments about how he’s craving chinese food

did he read your damn mind how did he know

and apparently he’s read dy/n’s mind too at how she jumps up at the mention of chinese and agrees profusely

so you find yourself abandoning your studies for the rest of the night and in a restaurant lmfao

“chill,, guys,,, jjajang is fine”

rock paper scissors for the cheque ends in mark’s tears

“no it’s ok. i’m ok it’s our first meeting as a fateful group and it makes sense! for me to pay”

after you satisfy your cravings the boys walk dy/n and you back to your dorm

mark tells dy/n to give him her bag for him to carry and while she practically gives it up to him, he has to insist that he’ll carry yours too

to which you’re like omg no it’s fine i can carry it it’s not that heavy i swear—

until donghyuk takes ur bag off ur shoulder and passes it to mark

because of the narrow path, you’re forced to walk in pairs and you end up walking next to donghyuk who makes happy sounds about how good that food was and how priceless mark’s face was when he lost rock paper scissors

then dy/n takes the initiative to make a group chat for you four,, asking for donghyuk’s number to add

you give her a look like damn gurl but you have no idea if she saw or if she just ignored you on purpose lmfao

also donghyuk looked way too happy afterwards

either way you slapped her when you got back to the dorm like “SINCE WHEN WERE YOU SO ?? BRAVE?”

dy/n: um

dy/n: honey

dy/n: have you met me

and thus the chaos of a group chat was born and just like a real child, you spent hours on it

dy/n 🦁: ok we inside

you: thanks for dinner again mark!

💩hyuk: he says you’re welcome

💩hyuk: i say we “accidentally” lose our purses next time we go out

you: nah you’re paying next

💩hyuk: y

💩hyuk: y, 🤡

dy/n 🦁: yes y, 🤡

dy/n 🦁: HAHAH WHY IS SHE 🤡

💩hyuk: i thought you of all people would know

dy/n 🦁: why is she just as dumb in class as she is in the dorm?

💩hyuk: i knew it

dy/n 🦁: she poured too much hot water into her tea the other day it overflowed and spilt onto her foot

mark: oh no were u okay

💩hyuk: looks like you’re gonna have to study osomsis

💩hyuk: osmoiss

💩hyuk: fuck

you: yes i’m okay it wasn’t that hot i had socks on too

💩hyuk: osmosis

dy/n 🦁: avoided tragedy luckily

💩hyuk: finally

you: there is a reason you’re saved as 💩hyuk on my phone

dy/n 🦁: HAAHAHAHAHHAHAH

seriously you just don’t know just how much this group was going to mean to you yet

click here to meet your soulmate, paediatrics!donghyuk!

II ⇤ | III | ⇥ IV

shoot me an ask if you’d like to be tagged in future parts!

#dreamwritersnet #kwritersworldnet #neowriters #nct au #nct 127 au #nct dream au #markhyuck #markhyuck au #markhyuck x reader #mark x reader #haechan x reader #donghyuck x reader #mark au #haechan au #donghyuck au #nct college #nct college au #eng lit mark #paediatrics haechan

12 notes · View notes

megalony · 4 years

Text

Home

This is a new dad! Ben Hardy imagine I came up with which is like my other imagine Maternal. I hope you all like it, I will be doing follow up parts for this imagine.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @luvborhap @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse

Maternal

Ben Hardy masterlist

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What time's daddy coming?"

(Y/n) looked down at the four-year-old who was clinging onto her trouser leg as she rocked back and forth on her small heels. Waiting very impatiently for an answer that she deemed appropriate. Her small eyes were wide with anticipation as she couldn't sit still, especially now that she knew Ben was coming round.

"You asked me that two minutes ago and the answer is still the same. He'll be here in twenty minutes, so you go and make sure you've got everything ready." (Y/n) couldn't give Goldie the answer she was searching for which was that Ben would be here now.

The little girl didn't seem to hold any patience within her and as soon as she heard that Ben was coming round she seemed to burst with energy and couldn't stop asking when he would arrive. She hadn't seen him for a week now and she was getting desperate to see him. Now he was going to be here, time seemed to have stopped for Goldie and she was stuck feeling like it had been hours when it had only been two minutes since she asked when Ben would be here.

With a huff, Goldie spun around on her heels and drifted out of the kitchen and ran up the stairs.

Turning her head, the smile disappeared from (Y/n)'s lips in an instant when her mother walked into the room. The usual displeased look on her face whenever Ben was mentioned.

(Y/n) knew her mother didn't disapprove of Ben because he was some kind of bad influence. There was nothing about Ben that her mother could dislike him for and there was nothing bad she could say about him because he was a good guy. It was the fact that he was with (Y/n) that her mother didn't like. And the fact that Goldie called him her dad when he biologically wasn't, but Goldie didn't know that. As far as the four-year-old knew, Ben was her dad and that was how they all wanted it to be.

"What's wrong?" (Y/n) spoke in a tired and ever so slightly annoyed tone as she leaned against the kitchen counter. Looking at her mother who began to make herself a cup of coffee as she tried to act like nothing was wrong but there was a storm brewing behind her eyes.

"You know what's wrong. You moving in with him today and you let Goldie believe he is her father when he isn't."

"The other option being what, exactly? Live here with you and pretend I'm still sixteen? You and I both know the only problem you have with Ben is that you think he's stealing us away." (Y/n) knew how her words sounded, she knew that she seemed like she was an ungrateful daughter or that she was always this cold and rude to her mother. But the truth was she was done being the kind, quiet, shy daughter. It was too hard to grow up whilst living with her mother who seemed to smother her and act like she was a child.

(Y/n)'s elder sister had moved out and their mum, Katie, had taken that rather hard. It had been even harder when (Y/n)'s other elder sister had left too, but Katie still had (Y/n). She didn't like any of them growing up because whenever someone grew up it was as if they had a new life, they moved out, they got their own homes and families and were independent.

A life living with her mother who treated her like she was a child was not something (Y/n) had wanted but when she was eighteen she had Goldie and she needed the extra help. It was hard to have a job and care for Goldie on her own so staying at home was easier because her mother could help look after Goldie. And it was less to pay for rent at home than getting a place of her own. (Y/n) was also diabetic so she needed her mother's help caring for Goldie when she wasn't well or couldn't cope.

But when Ben came into the picture Katie was not so happy.

He was older than (Y/n) so that put Katie off right from the beginning, but he was different. He was already independent and he was kind and caring and showed (Y/n) the things she wanted from life.

Goldie was only one when (Y/n) started to date Ben and her real father hadn't been in the picture since he found out about her. So to Goldie Ben was the father figure she didn't have and she simply assumed he was her dad, something Ben was more than happy to indulge her with and let her believe. Ben loved Goldie as if she was his own anyway so in every aspect but biological he was her dad.

Now (Y/n) and Ben had gotten a place of their own and that meant (Y/n) was moving out which she had only done once and it was only for a few months. She had moved in with Ben last year in his apartment but that was after an altercation with her mother and Ben had gone to location for a movie not long after. When her diabetes had gotten out of hand and made her ill (Y/n) had no choice but to go back to staying with her mother again because Ben wasn't there to help and she was very ill. But they had bought a house together this time around and he wasn't leaving for work for at least a month or two.

"And you think you'll be okay when he trots off for another three months to work away?"

"I think I'll have to be. I want a life of my own, mum." (Y/n) could never seem to stress enough to her mother how much a life of her own meant to her.

It meant that she could make her own decisions, it meant she could go home after work and be somewhere she felt was truly hers and truly home. Somewhere that she had decorated or just somewhere with her own bedroom and bathroom and kitchen that was hers and not somewhere she felt like she was simply a lodger who somehow was still out of place.

Home was a place (Y/n) could bring Goldie up without having her mother criticising her every move or trying to take over looking after Goldie. It was a home for Goldie where she could bring friends round and say she lived with her mum and dad, not her mum and grandma. Home was somewhere that (Y/n) could feel like she was her own person, that she was an adult, a mother and just herself with Goldie and Ben.

Home wasn't here anymore and this wasn't the life she wanted to live.

(Y/n) didn't want her mother treating her like an invalid who could do nothing for herself. She acted like (Y/n) was either a child or like she was dying and needed constant care and supervision or as if she was always going to do something wrong when she wasn't.

"You have a life (Y/n), you live here with Goldie, you have a steady job-"

"I mean a life that I decide and create, not the one you make for me. When I moved in with Ben before it felt great, it felt so much better but when I got ill you tutted at me and said it was my fault and I couldn't look after myself. You stormed in and took over, just like you always do. You try and do everything for me and act like I'm ill when I'm not and then you tell me I would never survive without you. I want to be with Ben and I'm allowed to make mistakes."

(Y/n) had cried so many times when her mother told her she would never be able to care for herself let alone Goldie if she didn't have her mother there by her side. She made (Y/n) feel like she was useless and needed a carer for the rest of her life. But when she was with Ben it was as if she was a normal person, she wasn't at fault for anything, she wasn't doing anything wrong and she was doing everything to the best of her ability.

(Y/n) couldn't help but sigh in relief when there was a knock at the door that stopped Katie from giving (Y/n) either a lecture or trying to talk her out of leaving.

Half of her and Goldie's things had already been moved to their new house anyway, they only had a few more boxes here that had to go and tonight was going to be their first night in their new home. (Y/n) wasn't delaying this for anything nor was she listening to her mother try and talk her out of this any more than she already had.

Turning on her heels, (Y/n) quickly walked down the hallway to reach the front door, opening it as she heard Goldie bounding out of her room upon hearing the door.

(Y/n) buried her head in Ben's neck the moment he picked her up after she let him inside. Ben had moved most of his things to the new house just before he left for work last week and it had been just over a week since (Y/n) had seen him which felt like a lifetime whilst she was stuck here with her mother.

"Miss me?" Ben whispered quietly in her ear, his eyes drifting over to see her mother standing unamused in the hallway before he looked up to see Goldie bounding down the stairs.

"Daddy's back!"

Ben unravelled his arms from (Y/n)'s waist, quickly kissing her before he reached out for Goldie who almost went flying the moment she reached the bottom of the stairs.

Reaching out, Ben quickly scooped Goldie up into his arms causing her to squeal. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck to the point Ben thought he wasn't going to be able to breathe but the moment she kissed his cheek the thought of breathing disappeared from his mind as he felt lighter than air.

"There's my girl." Ben leaned his head against her own as he kissed her temple, setting her on his hip although he could feel her wriggling in his arms already. Goldie didn't hold the ability to sit or stand still, she always had to be moving or speaking or doing something to occupy her mind and it kept both Ben and (Y/n) on their feet at all times.

"So, are you ready to go home?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Daddy!" Goldie wrapped her arms around Ben's legs like her arms were rope tying him up. There was a very cheeky smile lighting up her lips as she tilted her head back to look up at him, resting her chin on his thigh so she could see him properly.

"Hmm, nope. I put my girl to bed an hour ago, so who are you?" Ben folded his arms over his chest as he looked down at the blonde girl clinging to his leg who frowned at his words. A whine passing through her lips as she shook his legs as much as she could but she didn't hold the strength to move him very much.

Ben had known it would take a while to get Goldie to sleep but he thought tonight she would have gone to sleep quicker because she was tired. She had been organising where she wanted everything to be in her room and then insisted on helping put things up in the living room. She had been worn out when Ben gave her the medicine that helped her to go to sleep and then she seemed to settle straight away.

But now she was still awake and out of her room. As soon as he came out of the bathroom she barrelled into his legs and clung to him. He could tell that she was tired, her eyes were drooping but she clearly didn't want to go to sleep just yet.

"It's me... daddy please?" Goldie unwrapped her arms from his legs and proceeded to hold her arms out in front of her, pushing herself up on her toes to try and show him she wanted to be picked up.

Ben sighed before he cracked a smile and scooped her up into his arms, holding her to his chest as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Why're you still awake missy, I know you're tired." Ben started walking over to Goldie's room but the moment he tried to set her down on her bed she wrapped her legs around his waist. She seemed to gain strength from somewhere as she tightened her limbs around him so he couldn't put her down. Some sort of whine left her lips as she shook her head, wanting him to cuddle her rather than tuck her into bed.

"Wanted cuddles." She mumbled as she kept tight hold of Ben to emphasise her point.

Saying nothing, Ben pulled back up before turning around and sitting down on the bed. He laid down so Goldie was laying on his chest and stomach before he pulled the cover over the pair of them. He noticed Goldie closing her eyes when he pressed his lips to the top of her head as he started slowly rubbing his hand up and down her back.

"Can we try and go to sleep this time, baby?" Ben whispered against her hair but he already knew she was calming down.

It took a long time to get Goldie to settle down, let alone get her to sleep and the medication she had to help didn't do all that much. It was easier when she had long days and was more tired because she was more likely to calm down quicker and want to go to sleep or just lie down in bed and drift off later.

Goldie wriggled around a bit, trying to get comfy as she kept her arms around Ben's chest and rested her head just under his shoulder before she seemed to be more at ease. Moving a lot less than usual as he could feel her breaths evening out against his own.

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben x reader #dad! ben #imagine #borhap

82 notes · View notes

chrysalispen · 4 years

Text

xviii. now ever suns smile true

Aurelia stared morosely through the only window in her bedchamber. The work on the aetheryte plaza had seen its completion a scarce sennight past, though its heart still bore no crystal, and an out-of-season cold front overnight had dusted the rough oak planks of the deck with a thin layer of snow. A small cluster of children, delighting in the rare sight, quickly discovered the novelty of tossing handfuls of the powder at each other while shrieking in raucous joy to the sky and the bared branches outside.

Outside, where she was currently not allowed to go. She envied them.

“What?” Keveh’to shook his head at her, laughing and dismissive, barely even setting his spoon aside. She felt her stomach drop in disappointment, realizing that he didn’t believe her. Not really. “Come now, that’s impossible. Everyone knows you lot can’t-”

“So they say, and apparently ‘everyone’ was wrong.”

“Right. Well… what now?”

Aurelia stared into her teacup, the world spinning enough to make her feel sick, knowing she’d faint if she tried to stand on her own but unwilling to be sent back to her bed.

“I don’t know. What am I supposed to do?”

Her minder’s response was a mere lift and drop of the shoulders, expression strangely unreadable. “You’re asking the wrong man; I just point and shoot. Mayhap the will of the elementals or somesuch-”

“Aurelia, you should not be out of bed!” Miounne was already wrapping an arm about her shoulders and lifting. “Back to the room with you!”

She’d protested. Or tried to protest. But the moment she tried to stand under her own power her legs buckled, unwilling to carry her weight, and the Elezen woman had scooped her into her own strong arms like a mother coeurl hauling a recalcitrant cub back to the lair.

Recovery had proven, thus far, to be a slow and tedious process.

By and large Garleans were a robust people; such a hardy constitution was key to survival in the extreme climes of the far north. Aurelia was no exception. She had enjoyed the luxury of good physical health for most of her life, and the strength she had always taken for granted felt as though it had all but abandoned her in the first few days after that close call.

Worse than the full-body weakness and fatigue was the confinement, as Mother Miounne soon saw fit to forbid her from leaving the Canopy until she was deemed fit for duty. Even as a child Aurelia had hated the many restrictions on her comings and goings. Knowing the city harbored people in the quarantine tents in need of aid only added to her mounting anxiety, and the sense of helplessness combined with enforced indolence quickly turned her temper waspish.

“Hells below,” she snarled aloud, glaring now at the window and its squared panes as though it had done her personal injury through its mere existence, “this is ridiculous.”

“What is?”

She glanced over one shoulder to see her companion slouched in his chair, as though he hadn’t a care in the world. The sight somehow served to annoy her further.

“Must I remain ensconced in my chambers like some invalid in a shoddy romance novella?”

Keveh’to - who had borne the brunt of her outbursts in the last fortnight, and was likewise at the end of his patience - merely shrugged and went back to the newspaper he was reading. She could see the lettering from here. The Raven, a small tabloid rag that had reported on the arrival of the imperial prisoners and the refugees alike with breathless aplomb (and no small amount of exaggeration).

“Would you prefer a gaol cell to your current accommodations?”

The emphasis he placed on the word was not unlike an epithet. Aurelia scowled, and when he didn’t look back up, made a rude gesture in his direction, then pushed her chair back until there was enough room to stand.

His ears flickered at the sound and he finally peered over the corner of the paper. “And where are you off to?”

“The common room.” The room spun precariously as she gained her footing. Grinding her teeth, Aurelia reached for the head kerchief sitting on the edge of her desk. “If I am to slowly perish from boredom then I might as well do so in public.”

“Not without me, you’re not.”

“Then you had best make ready, because I’m not waiting on you.”

“Call me dense if you like,” Keveh’to grumbled as he hastily tugged his boots back on, “but I thought I was your minder.”

“My minder, not my gaoler.”

“Aye, well, I’m starting to wish I had told Commander Heuloix where to shove this assignment,” the flat fall of his boots were close behind as she thrust open the door into the hallway, “playing nanny to a spoiled, demanding imperial with all the graces of a screeching haaaeeello Mother Miounne, how do you fare this fine morning?”

Accompanied by a nervous chuckle, the hissed tirade at Aurelia’s back wound its way upwards, not unlike a teakettle removed from a stove just as it had reached its boiling point. They’d all but run face-first into the proprietress of the Carline Canopy in the midst of their hushed bickering as they traversed the hallway.

“Ah… yes, hello, Sergeant Epocan,” Miounne blinked at the false note of cheer, “a very good morning to you too…?”

Keveh’to’s ears were twitching wildly, as was the tip of his tail. Aurelia covered her sudden peal of laughter with a discreet cough.

“Miss Laskaris and I were just about to take a morning constitutional.” He nudged her in the side with one elbow, glaring pointedly at her - whereupon she pretended not to notice, “Within the building, of course.”

“Mm. I see that.” The Elezen’s attention turned towards Aurelia, the twist of her lower lip caught between her teeth to hide her smirk. “And how do you fare this morning?”

“I’m well, thank you. I should be better once I am allowed to leave the Canopy,” she ventured cautiously, “but I am well regardless.”

“Indeed. I take it you are feeling ready to return to your duties?”

She would like naught better. “I think I might be convinced to perhaps take the risk, yes.”

“Excellent. E-Sumi-Yan has been quite insistent in asking after you.” She was no longer hiding her smile. “I daresay he’s chomping at the bit for someone new to train.”

“Or a likely test subject,” Aurelia said wryly.

“Well, if you think you can manage the journey to the Fane then I shall ring him on linkpearl ahead of your arrival.” Miounne’s smile faded, replaced by a vague sort of consternation. “Pray do not let me detain you.”

She hoped the woman wasn’t overly taken aback by her wide smile and effusive thanks.

With considerable effort she restrained herself from bolting out the door into the cold morning air, for too much sudden movement still made her lightheaded. But the cold air was fresh and bracing, and whispered pleasantly over her bare arms, and she could almost feel the lift in her mood as she took a deep breath and exhaled.

The trek to the glade that housed the Conjurers’ Guild passed in relative tranquility - though by the time they arrived at the narrow and winding path that led to Stillglade Fane, Aurelia was leaning upon her minder’s shoulder for support. Except this time, she knew, it was not the lingering effects of aether depletion that ailed her.

Keveh’to frowned at her and wrapped an arm about her waist.

“...Perhaps we ought to make our way back to the Canopy. Brother E-Sumi-Yan should be told you haven’t fully recovered.”

“I’m fine,” she bit out. “I’ve made it this far; I think I can manage a few fulms to the bloody tree.”

“You know you’ll have to go inside, don’t you? Are you s-”

“Let’s… just get on with it.”

She wasn’t looking forward to this at all. She could do this, she knew she could, but the conjurers had finally stuck her with menial tasks when it became apparent that on most days she simply couldn’t bring herself to enter the Fane.

Beneath the bracing chill of the morning she could smell the fetid air wafting from the entrance to the guild’s headquarters as they drew close. Aurelia drew to an abrupt halt, heart pounding and stomach twisting in knots. Keveh’to, seeming to realize it would do no good to press her, waited at her side, eyes on her face. She didn’t even glance at him.

“Mistress Laskaris?” he prompted.

Metallic taste on her tongue: blood and stagnant water and burnt ceruleum. Her fingers dug hard into the meat of the Miqo’te man’s arm, enough that she felt him flinch under her grasp. Beneath the impending sense of terror she felt a frustrated anger so overwhelming she wanted naught more than to take her fist to the nearest hard surface and curse her own weakness.

Seven hells, it had been moons now since Carteneau, and every time it was still the same, every godsdamned time, the horrible sinking feeling, the foul taste in her mouth, the sensation of slowly choking on her own breath.

Everyone else can ignore it so why can’t you just get over it, Aurelia, get over it-

She swallowed.

“I’ll be fine,” she said hoarsely. The look Keveh’to gave her was dubious.

“If you say so.”

Their sojourn down into the bowels of the Fane was torturously slow: only a few minutes, but it felt like years. Each step felt as though it dragged her to her death and the acrid chemical stink in her nose was overpowering.

By the time they reached the bottom of the stairwell at the entrance to the ceremonial chamber she could stand the roiling of her belly no longer, and staggered forward, ripped the kerchief from her head, and retched into the fabric.

Keveh’to reached for her, cursing.

“Damn it, I knew this was a bad idea. Let me just call-”

“N-no,” she coughed weakly, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “I-I’m all right. I just… I need a moment, that’s all.”

It wasn’t a lie; she did feel a bit better for having emptied her stomach. She could still feel the sense of heavy walls in and over her, pressing down, and that rancid taste still tainted her tongue- but nothing had happened. She could force herself to ignore it for a little while.

There was little else to be done, after all.

E-Sumi-Yan was awaiting them, standing alone upon the dais with his slender hands clasped before him, though his smile faded instantly at the sight of her, pale and trembling. “Aurelia,” he said urgently, “if you are unwell-”

“No, it’s… it’s not the aether. I’m all right. I swear it.”

She stared dully down at the soiled kerchief in her hands, and with a grimace and a sigh, Keveh’to plucked it from her hands.

“Right, well… so I’ll just… go take care of this, shall I? I hardly think I’m needed here. Please contact me when it comes time to escort the lady home.”

“By all means. Thank you, Sergeant.”

The Keeper grunted, his expression locked in a distasteful grimace. He stalked back towards the door, bushy tail lashing and carrying the item between a thumb and forefinger as if it were a piece of carrion, grumbling all the way.

Aurelia turned away once he had exited to look at the youthful figure of the guildmaster. The Padjal was watching her with open concern. “If you are certain…”

“I am,” she coughed again, wincing at the lingering burn in her throat, “and even were I not, I daresay I should accomplish more good here than if I continue to languish in a sickbed. Please.”

After a moment he nodded.

“Very well, but I would have us go outside.”

Aurelia almost laughed. Almost. After all of that-

As if he’d read her mind, E-Sumi-Yan said, “You look as though you could use the fresh air, and there are things I must needs teach you which are most easily done in the open. Do you require assistance to navigate the stairs, Aurelia?”

She would like naught better than to be shut of this stifling place, though she wasn’t about to say so - her problems were hardly his fault, after all. Still, she was not quite able to hide that enthusiasm when she smiled at him, the twitch of her lips small and trembling and relieved.

“I will be fine, I think. Lead the way, Guildmaster, by all means.”

~*~

A year ago, had someone told her she would one day find herself able to access her body’s aether, she would have laughed at them. Of a certainty, she would have not believed that a beginner’s lessons in wielding aether would become the most enjoyable part of her daily routine. Her uncle had quickly killed what small pleasure she had received from her studies.

But her mornings spent in the Twelveswood with Brother E-Sumi-Yan - and occasionally a small collection of youngsters - brought back the freedom and the joy of discovery she remembered feeling as a child. There was a serenity she could not deny, sitting in a sun-dappled glade beneath the dancing shadows of leaves and letting the whisper of the land sink into her bones. Just as delightful was the practice of beckoning forth aether from her surroundings, able to make the intangible tangible for the first time in her life. Feeling power spill in soft, cool waves over her bare hands while silently marveling at the realization that this was something she could do now, that this was hers, brought with it a sense of genuine excitement.

Kapna Kugi and Kupto Kapp had been quite concerned as to her whereabouts, and after a long and very stern lecture in which she had difficulty restraining her laughter at the sound of their squeaky little voices, Aurelia promised the two moogles she would never do anything so foolish again, and moreover, that she would take them along with her on her “adventures.”

So it was that she explored this small part of the forest in the company of her companions as the autumn months began to wind into winter. Keveh’to was rarely far out of sight, watching her as he had been bid to ensure she did not break her bonds and run- but even he became more lax as time went by, and no longer felt so keenly the need to trail close at her heels.

As soon as she was able, the guild returned her to duties at the temporary shelter outside the city gates per her plea agreement. Although E-Sumi-Yan had forbidden her from using any healing magicks, she could yet render aid with her hands… for all that her work was largely menial, and involved barely any healing, for there were now not nearly as many in need of a healer’s attention.

Either Edwin had passed along her concerns or the conjurers had found the source of the water contamination while she lay bedridden and recovering: by all accounts, the worst of the outbreak appeared to have passed. Many surviving refugees, discovering there was neither employment nor succor to be had in the Twelveswood, had moved along down the road towards Thanalan to the south. The only souls left in the tents were those too ill to move or those given leave to remain, and most of the noise was little more than subdued chatter.

One blustery morning she ventured down the worn stone path to the tents, huddled in a cotton-lined robe for warmth, bearing a crock full of frumenty from Miounne’s kitchen for the refugees. Most of those who were still in the care of the conjurers had long since run out of food, and although Aurelia had caught the Canopy’s proprietress casting worried glances at her dwindling larder the woman knew how to stretch a bag of oats when needs must.

Some kind soul had already set up the stove for use and inserted the chips of fire-aspected crystal into the heating unit. Smiling, Aurelia set the earthen vessel down with a soft grunt, then began to pull fresh bowls and spoons from a nearby crate to stack on part of the open table space. Once those who could help themselves had come to get their porridge, she’d grab one of the other novices to help her distribute food to those still bedridden.

She leaned back with a sigh, exhaling a cloud of white, and pulled the coat around her torso a bit more snugly. For this blessed handful of weeks, little had been expected of her beyond healing and learning. Her nightmares did not cease but they were fewer and farther between. While people in Gridania were still not precisely what one would call friendly, there were no more thrown bricks, and she supposed that was a measurable improvement.

“Miss?”

Aurelia blinked at the pretty face of the Gyr Abanian Miqo’te who had approached the table in borrowed robes with a little boy in tow. More to the point, she was pretty and familiar, and it took her only moments to recall the woman whose son she had nearly killed herself to save.

“J’nehda,” she said, and watched those golden eyes brighten with surprised pleasure.

“You do remember!” she blurted, then faltered, her cheeks flushing. “...Apologies, miss, I’m so sorry. I hadn’t thought you would… not many city folk have had time or kindness to spare, and you were ever so ill…”

“A bit difficult to forget that day, methinks,” Aurelia said wryly. “Thank you for your concern. I am… not quite recovered, but I am much improved. The conjurers think there will be no permanent damage to my aether. And your boy? How does he fare?”

“J’yefah is well.” Her arms draped protectively about the little boy’s shoulders. He stared up at her with wide and watchful golden eyes perhaps a shade or two darker than his mother’s, clutching a small and tattered stuffed rabbit to his chest. It was then Aurelia realized the child’s ears had not moved in response to their voices, not even once.

“This is the healer who helped you,” J’nehda said to her son. “Tell her thank you.”

The lad nodded, then turned towards Aurelia. Still juggling his toy, he lifted one small hand and touched his fingertips to his mouth, then extended the hand downward towards her, palm facing upward. His tiny face was a perfect picture of gravitas, ears flattened near to his skull.

“Thank you,” he added, his tongue seeming to stumble over the words as though he did not speak them often.

With a gentle smile, Aurelia repeated the simple gesture back to him.

“Thank you, Yefah.”

The boy’s solemn expression melted into a shy grin, and his tufted ears swiveled immediately forward with a happy flicker she remembered well- before his attention wandered and he had returned his focus to poking at the weathered eye-buttons on his stuffed rabbit.

“Your other sons. You said they were conscripted?”

“Aye, miss, that they were.”

“Then I am full glad you were able to cross the Wall.” She shook her head. “The Empire does not treat aan kindly.”

She didn’t elaborate. The Garlean Empire was not wont to spare much kindness for the children of those nations it occupied via subjugation, and it afforded even less to those it considered unfit to serve in its legions. ‘Twas like to be the reason J’nehda had taken advantage of the chaos in Mor Dhona to flee, and Aurelia knew she had already given away far more information than she had intended about herself.

Quickly she decided to change the subject.

“Have you chosen to remain, then? Will the Hearers let you?”

“I don’t think so. They keep saying’ it’s up to the elementals who stays and who doesn’t.” J’nehda sighed, taking the bowl and spoon Aurelia offered, then knelt before her son, whose grip tightened about his stuffed toy. “Yefah-- Yefah, look at Mama- you can play with Aslan after you eat. Let me take care of him for a while.”

The boy pouted briefly, but let his mother exchange the toy for his breakfast.

“A good lad,” Aurelia said as they watched him traipse across the path, carrying his steaming bowl in his little hands, tail swishing with vague irritation.

“He’s a very good lad. This journey has been hard but he’s taken to it with little complaint. I’m proud of him.” J’nehda crossed her arms. “...And I know that accent, miss. You hide it well, and it’s faded a fair bit, but you can’t fool my ears.”

Oh shite and hellsfire, here we go. She let her breath leave her lungs in a slow and soft exhale, as she suddenly found the act of scooping frumenty into a bowl very interesting.

“I know an Ala Mhigan lass when I hear one,” the Miqo’te continued, and Aurelia nearly sagged in her seat with relief. Somehow, she still hadn’t been recognized… though her provincial accent, as slight as it was, certainly had been clocked.

She forced a smile, passing the filled bowl and its spoon across the table.

“Caught me out, did you?”

J’nehda laughed. “Aye, I did. Though it seems you’ve been gone a long while.”

“I left seven years ago, after my father’s death.” It wasn’t a lie, though she cringed inwardly with guilt at the naked sympathy she saw in the woman’s eyes. “I’ve not been in Gridania very long, only a few moons. I came here right after the moon-”

“The red moon.” J’nehda turned her head and spat into the frost-rigid grass. “Godsdamned imperials couldn’t be satisfied with just taking our lands, eh? Had to set their eye on the whole of bleeding Aldenard. But I’m guessing that means you aren’t in any more of a position to speak to this lot on my behalf than anyone else.”

“No,” Aurelia said, “I’m really not. I’m very sorry.”

“Ah, don’t apologize. It is what it is.” She shrugged, smiling. “We have to look out for each other where we can- and you’ve already done plenty for me and my boy. I’m sure your da would be that pleased, knowing he raised a good woman like you.”

Left truly at a loss for words, she could only nod.

“Well,” J’nehda lifted the bowl in her direction, “I’m off before he gets hot oats all over the tent floor. Destroyer bless you, girl. And keep your chin up, eh? These storms are always darkest right before the dawn.”

Aurelia had to suppress, fiercely, the hysterical laughter that threatened to escape her lips even after J’nehda had gone out of earshot. Seven hells, she thought. Did she believe in such things, she would have called this naught save a cosmic jest, and a poor one at that.

Long after she’d lost sight of the woman, she turned those parting words over in her mind.

‘The storm is always darkest before the dawn.’ An old saying she’d heard once as a child, though she could hardly recall the circumstance now - and in this case, imminently applicable. There had been so much hardship already, and with winter oncoming she suspected still more lay upon the horizon.

Always darkest before the dawn. She could only hope, for the sake of these people, that it would ring true.

Please--let it ring true. For all our sakes.

#reborn by fire #chapter 18 #i had the absolute worst time writing this #i hate transitions and time skips they're the worst #but i'm not taking y'all through 5 years of 'she hung out in the forest with the elementals' so there you have it i guess

16 notes · View notes