Forever heartbroken that I know no one who likes pre 2000 comics and has read at least one Detective Comics (1937) issue. Those are hilarious.
I mean, you have Batman and Robin bonding, really showing how much they care about each other. And then you have these really high emotional scenes too, right?
And then that motherfucking rogue comes in and does the most outlandish, ridiculous, wrong thing.
As an example, I am going to use one of my favourite issues, #571
What you need to know: Extreme athletes have been going around and taking extreme risks, causing major injury to themselves. Batman and Robin have gone to this race car race, hoping to get more clues on it. And indeed, one driver completely wrecked his car in the process, which is now on flames.
Batman orders robin to hose him down, because Robin is worried that Batman could die from this. Robin doesn't know if he can do it
Batman doesn't come out after some time, Robin is understandably freaked out by this
Batman eventually does come out and tells Robin the person is alive because of him
This is kinda hilarious in its own right. You have this boy who lost both his parents and his new adoptive dad just runs into the flames, which you warned him about, telling you to just spray him with water.
And then he doesn't come out. What if he died. But he makes it out alive, so it's fine. Right?
(Just another day of Bruce inflicting trauma onto his own children)
Batman tasks Robin to look out for the guy in the hospital during the night. And who makes an entrace? Scarecrow!
Robin busts in but whoopsie, Scarecrow sprays him with fear toxin! And what does he see?!
Well
The art is spectacular. He is reliving the worst case scenario he could have come up with from earlier.
But not only that. "Why Robin? Why did you fail me?"
I'll tell you what: This is Jason.
And you know what Jason did before Bruce took him in?
He took care of his mom for a year. But it still wasn't enough.
She still died.
Robin is there grieving, relieving everything, feeling all that guilt again, the feeling that he failed.
And what does Scarecrow do?
Fucking kidnaps him by putting a bag over his head.
And he is already planning on using that information because he figured out that this connection goes both ways.
Finally, we come to the most glorious, poetic panel which spawned the idea for this post.
Are you ready?
Here it is:
"I win again" he says, laughing, as he carries Robin around like a sack of potatoes.
He does not have any chill. He just drags Batman's sidekick along the floor.
If you've never read Detective Comics, I recommend this issue. The ending made me genuinely cry.
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I love that identity reveals between Jim Gordon and Bruce in fic almost always go the same way. Bruce goes "How did you know? Was it my acting?" and nine times out of ten Jim says something along the lines of "No, your acting was phenomenal. You gave yourself away by caring too much, Mr. Wayne."
Because the billionaire playboy cover was perfect and damn near airtight until one Bruce Wayne leapt in front of someone else during a holdup at a gala and "accidentally" got shot. No self-involved airhead with that much money riding on his life would ever -- ever -- let himself think of someone else in that moment.
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One day, Damian Wayne will break or save this world. But tonight he is ten years old. And he is afraid.
Detective Comics (2016-) #1080
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I always have to smile at myself when I read a fanfic in which Bruce immediately catches Jason after he hits with his tire iron.
I get why fanfic writers do it, so they can move the plot along without having to write the chase after Jason or the scene when they do talk in the condemned building that Jason sleeps in. I get it.
But I always have to think about canon then.
Because not only did Jason manage to run away from Batman.
He also called him a 'big boob'.
I repeat. He gets caught jacking the tires. Tries to deny it. Hits Batman with a tire iron, runs away and insults him.
This 12-year old did something that every rogue would never even dream of.
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