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winter-soldier-vibes · 3 years

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Reason to Come Back (Bucky Barnes x reader)

Reason to come back

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 3574

Request: "can you do something where seb(or one of his characters)and reader used to date and one day he broke up with her and after a short time he comes up with a new girl(not cheating)and the reader thinks that she’s worthless and not beautiful or good enough and that’s why he broke up with her and tries to be better(you know what to do•_-) and silently suffering etc. and with a happy ending where they get back together"

Warnings: mentions of a breakup, angst, depression, very slight mentions of disordered eating and exercise (very slight, not like most of my other fics), general feelings of worthlessness, angst

Tags: @buckys2thicc @mardema @stucky-on-spiderman @abitgryffindorky @freigeistundanderes @barnesplums @thatfangirl42 @buckfics @babyboibucky

A/N: I AM SO SORRY TO THE ANON THAT REQUESTED THIS SO LONG AGO AND THAT IT TOOK SO LONG! I don’t even know if they’re still here, I feel so bad. I got an anon request for this fic and I did not know about the inbox for Tumblr accounts until just recently because I’m incompetent. There’s no excuse for me taking so long to write it, but I wanted to even though it’s been 9 months since they sent it. If you’re still here anon, thank you for sticking with me!

NEW NOTE 06/04/21: I rewrote this to be for Bucky as opposed to Sebastian. It is still mostly the same, just reworded in some places. This is meant to take place in reference to the timeline of tfatws and mentions moments from the show. I am referencing “the time he was gone” as the series episode 1-6. I don’t know how much time passed but I assume it was at least a few weeks if not longer (especially between episodes 5 and 6). That’s how I wrote it.

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It was a quiet night, you under some blankets on the couch watching a movie. There was an empty bowl aside from a few popcorn kernels on the coffee table in front of you, the movie more for background noise than entertainment. You were scrolling through your phone mindlessly, looking for a distraction that would keep you occupied.

Not that it was working too well. There wasn’t much that could distract you from the fact that you were alone.

9 months. You had dated for 9 months. Not that he had been around for much of it. He had been with Sam on an extended mission, and he had been gone for a few weeks. You didn’t know much about the mission, Bucky wasn’t allowed to tell you. For your safety. You understood. It was his job, you knew that, but it could be lonely most of the time. He would call or text you if he could, but he couldn’t compromise his location. You were always happy to hear from him, but it wasn’t the same as when he was around.

You knew this would happen, and you had accepted that. It was hard, but you could manage.

You hadn’t heard from him in a weeks, but you didn’t think much of it. He and Sam must have gotten closer to the answers they had been looking for. You could only hope that he was safe. it took a toll on you, worrying about him, but you had been so happy when he had said he was coming home. But when he walked through the door, he didn’t seem excited at all.

You had wrapped your arms around him, and he had hesitantly hugged you back gently. You had known something was wrong almost immediately, pulling back and trying to meet his eyes. “Babe? Are you okay?”

“We should talk,” he said, struggling to meet your eyes.

You pulled your eyes together with concern. “Yeah, yeah what’s wrong?”

“I, uh… I don’t know if this is gonna work out.”

You shook your head, surprised. “What do you mean? What happened?”

“I just don’t think you and I work with 1,000 miles between us.”

“What?” you said in disbelief. “You’re the one who has to leave and I told you that I’m okay with it, and I am. I never thought you’d be the one with the problem with it.”

“Y/n -”

“We can work this out, Buck. You said it yourself, you don’t normally go away for that long. I’m not going anywhere, I - ”

“I can’t ask you to stay, y/n,” he said, cutting you off. You shut your mouth and shook your head. “Where is this coming from, what happened?” you asked.

He cleared his throat. “I should go.”

“You don’t get to walk away from this like that!” you exclaimed, nearly yelling.

“And I don’t have the right to expect you to wait for months while I’m out trying to save people. I thought it’d be fine but I couldn’t stop thinking about you here, alone. There’s going to be more missions, more danger. They recreated the serum. Who knows what else they’ll be able to create? You shouldn’t have to deal with that.”

“You don’t get to make that choice for me! I told you I’m okay with it and I still am, Bucky! I know the risks!” you said, tears pricking your eyes.

He looked away. “You deserve much better than me. Someone who can be there for you.”

You walked up to him and cupped his face. “You’re all I could ever want Bucky. Distance be damned.”

He sighed and pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tightly for a moment. “I have to go y/n. I’m sorry.”

He let you go and turned around, not even looking back to say goodbye.

That had been a couple of weeks ago. You had been crushed at first, devastated. But you were still able to function in your day-to-day life. You had a few friends to hype you up or cry with you, whatever the day was. You were able to still get to work, try to move on. And it was getting better, but the nights were still hard. It wasn’t the same when you knew he wouldn’t be coming home.

During the day you could pretend like you were waiting for that night when he would be able to call you. But at night, it was dark and you didn’t have a person you wanted to call.

You weren’t bitter, in a way you understood. You had known how relationships could be ruined by distance and work. But being a super soldier wasn’t a typical line of work. You had been okay with it, but you hadn’t thought that it would’ve affected Bucky as much as it seemed to. You had been emotional at the time, but looking back on it you could understand where he was coming from. Relationships were two-sided - just because you felt okay didn’t guarantee he was.

You knew what he did was dangerous. You had accepted that there might not have always been a happy ending. Maybe he hadn’t.

But then one day you had walked into a bar, only to see Bucky flirting with another girl, laughing away..

That was all you needed to see.

You didn’t want to read too much into it, any kind of situation could be misread. But him laughing with a very attractive girl over drinks shortly after becoming single - you couldn’t help but wonder.

You tried to tell yourself that it didn’t matter, that you were reading everything wrong, but your heart still felt as though it was breaking.

She was gorgeous. Much more so than you, you had thought.

Was that why he left? Was he just wanting to get himself back out there? Had he met her and just needed to get rid of you?

You didn’t want to think that way, none of it was true. He wouldn’t do that, he was a good man. But still…

Maybe if you were different it would’ve been harder for him to leave.

Maybe you hadn’t given him a good enough reason to stay.

And maybe, if you were better, prettier, he would come back.

It started small - making more of an effort to go to the gym, not ordering takeaways every night, that sort of thing. Not that you had much of an appetite to begin with. But you didn’t realize when your days had become full of going from work to the gym, nor why you had freaked out so much when you had sprained an ankle and couldn’t do your normal workout.

You had decided to work your arms those next few days to supplement the cardio you had missed. You had kept this up until you woke up one morning struggling to turn over because you were so sore. You decided that that day, you could take a rest day.

A rest day turned into a rest week, and soon enough you were only leaving your house to go to work. And only because you needed money.

You had cut yourself off from most of your contacts, still replying every now and then so they wouldn’t be concerned. You didn’t go out with them or call them because you were worried they would see right through you. Better to stay home. Your bed would never judge you.

You had become familiar with the spots on the wall, the streaks from god knows what, the way that light would filter through your window as the sun ascended and descended the sky. Hours could pass and you could still be in the same position.

You had to keep up a front around everyone. Letting people know how much you were hurting was not an option for you. Then they would ask what was wrong and pull you aside and look at you with this concerned face that you couldn’t deal with. It was the one that everyone always gave when someone was having a bad day, the one people put on when they wanted you to think that they cared. Sometimes they did, but most of the time a person with any sense of morals would put that face on to make a person think that they cared. It’s the same way “How are you?” is more of a greeting than a genuine question.

There were people who cared, but you didn’t want to have that conversation. You didn’t even know what you were doing anymore. It was an honest thought of bettering yourself, but it was for the wrong reasons. Trying to be better for Bucky made you realize how much you missed him. How angry you really were at him. But you couldn’t take it out on him, he didn’t deserve that at all, he didn’t earn that. But you were angry at...something, and maybe it was yourself, at letting him walk out that door, of not calling him and leaving him messages. Maybe if you had fought for him he would’ve stayed. If you had said something when he distanced himself.

You felt like this was your fault. And maybe if you changed something about yourself, you would learn from your mistakes.

Not that you knew exactly what you had done or what isolating yourself would fix, or teach you for that matter.

At some point, you must have fallen asleep because your ringtone jolted you awake. You groaned, shutting your eyes again. You would let it go to voicemail, just like all of the others. If it was that important they would text you.

You let it ring, sighing when it had stopped. You readjusted in your bed, trying to fall back asleep. It was a Saturday morning, you had until Monday morning to sleep. You were going to make the most of it.

But then your phone began ringing again.

You opened your eyes again, picking up your phone to see who it was. You dropped the phone when you saw the name

Bucky Barnes

Why the fuck was he calling you? What could he possibly have to say to you?

You watched the phone ring through to voicemail, soon after seeing a voicemail was left. You didn’t bother listening to it, you didn’t need to. You simply rolled over in bed. If it were that important, he would have called sooner.

Bucky’s POV

As the call went to voicemail again, Bucky was confused. He had never known you to miss a call, ever. It wasn’t like you, he knew you would drop anything to take calls. You had said you hated people leaving voicemails because you hated them having to listen to your voicemail message. You had thought your voice had sounded weird. It was one of the little things he remembered about you that made him smile

And realize how royally he had fucked up.

Being away on a mission wasn’t anything new for him, but maintaining a serious relationship for him was. He had never met anyone like you, and he had missed you so much when he had left. He hadn’t felt anything like what he did when you smiled at him since the 40′s. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but all he could think about was how much he had missed you. And that made him think about how much you must have missed him.

He felt like he was holding you back in some way. He was used to being away in dangerous situations for periods of time but you weren’t. And no matter how much you had assured him that you were okay with the long-distance relationship, as the months went on he felt guilty for not being able to be there in the way that he wanted to.

In the way you deserved.

He broke up with you because he thought you deserved better than relying on phone calls and texts for months at a time. Someone who could be there all the time for you. Someone who you didn’t have to worry about getting shot when he left for a mission. Someone predictable and reliable. Something he couldn’t always do.

But God, did he miss you.

He regretted walking out that door. He regretted not giving you a better reason, for not calling you or texting you until now, weeks later. The more time went on, the more he felt it would be inappropriate to call you to apologize.

But he couldn’t take it anymore, so he dialed your number. And when it went to voicemail, he had gotten a little worried.

He knew he didn’t have much of a right or reason to be worried, but he had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. So, he decided to reach out to one of your friends.

Hey, is y/n alright?

Why do you want to know?

Look, I know I messed up. I just wanted to apologize and give her the answer she deserves. But she’s not answering my calls.

She doesn’t do phone calls anymore.

What do you mean?

She won’t answer calls. She won’t even come out with us anymore. Something’s up but she denies it.

When did this start?

When do you think?

Bucky’s heart sank to his stomach. This was his fault. And he had to go make it right.

Your POV

You were still in bed, wondering why Bucky had called you. It didn’t make sense to you, for him to call after all of this time. What could he possibly have to say to you? Did he want to inform you of a new girlfriend before the news caught wind of it? Did he want to come up with some dumb excuse to tell you he was sorry?

It made you scoff slightly, but the tug at your heart let you know that it wouldn’t be unwelcome.

You couldn’t deny it. As much as his leaving had hurt you, you missed him more than anything.

You wanted another chance with him, one that you weren’t sure you would get. And the thought of him coming back to you was comforting. Like maybe it wasn’t your fault. Or maybe you had done enough to win him back.

Wishful thinking.

You had lost track of time, once again, but were snapped out of your daze by knocking on your door.

What? Why would anyone be here?

You sighed. It was probably just some random person selling some random product or something.

More knocking. More insistent. You sighed, standing up and silently groaning at the soreness you felt in your body. Not necessarily from overuse, but more so from underuse. You stood you slowly, walking quietly over to your door.

More knocking.

You made it to the door and glanced through the peephole you had, eyes widening and a small gasp leaving your mouth.

Why the fuck was Bucky here?

More knocking.

You ran a hand down your face. Knowing him, he wouldn’t leave. But why did it go from calling straight to ‘I’m coming to your door’? As if he hadn’t been the one to leave you?

More knocking.

You swallowed dryly. “Why are you here?” you called out through the door.

Bucky let out a breath. “I just want to talk to you”

You shook your head on the other side of the door, wondering if you should let him speak. As if he wasn’t already living rent-free in your mind.

“Please y/n.”

You set your face hard, pulling the door open. At least you would get to say your piece to him.

“Now you wanna talk? Fine. Let’s talk.” you said, coldly.

Bucky was slightly taken aback, though he couldn’t blame you. He took in your appearance, exhaustion seeming to overtake you. Dark circles under your eyes, pale skin, you just - all life seemed to be drained from you. He scratched the back of his neck nervously before he asked quietly, “Can I come in?”

You stepped to the side, silently allowing him in, closing the door behind you. You crossed your arms over your chest and shrugged slightly. “What do you want Barnes?

“I’m sorry,” he said. You scoffed slightly, shaking your head and looking away. “Y/n look at me, please. I fucked up.”

“Well it took you long enough to figure that one out didn’t it?” you snapped, looking at him.

“Y/n please -”

“Tell me, when exactly did you figure out that maybe, just maybe, you should say you were sorry?”

“Y/n please - “

“Who was the girl? The one in the bar from a few days after we had broken up? The one you were hitting on over a couple of drinks?”

“The… what?”

“When did you feel the slightest bit of regret? When did you change your mind and decide that you didn’t want to leave?”

“I never wanted to leave you!” he exclaimed. “Can you please just listen to me?”

You looked at him, anger in your eyes but you closed your mouth. You gave him a look that said ‘I’m listening.’

He took a deep breath. “The woman at the bar was an old friend of Sam’s. He had introduced the two of us at one point. I was at a bar one night and and she came over to say hello and stayed for one drink. It’s nothing more than that.”

You took a breath. Situations could definitely be read wrong. You knew it had probably been nothing.

“When we first got together we had talked about me leaving for missions. Long-distance, unpredictable times, dangerous missions. A lot of people have a hard time keeping that going.”

“And I knew that and was okay with it.”

“Let me finish, please.” he pleaded. “I knew you knew the risks but I’m not sure I was as ready as I thought I was. I left and suddenly I couldn’t talk to you because I was worried for your safety. I couldn’t be there for you in all the ways I wanted to be. In all the ways you deserved. I just...you didn’t deserve that. You deserved so much more than that.”

You felt tears prick your eyes. “You already told me that. When you left. What’s really going on?”

He shook his head slightly. “ Sam’s sister had gotten a call with a threat towards her and her children. I couldn’t put you at risk. These people, they were super soldiers just like me. I had a few close calls with serious injuries. And I realized that if I got hurt I couldn’t protect you. I couldn’t let you get hurt and I couldn’t let you worry about whether or not I would come home alive. I thought… I thought it’d be less painful for both of us if we stopped seeing each other before that happened.”

You shook your head slightly. “Why couldn’t you tell me that?” you said, a little more softly.

“I don’t know”

You shook your head. “You’re gonna have to do a lot better than I don’t know.”

“I - “ He sighed slightly. “I was scared. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I was scared that I was going to lose you.”

“So you gave me up?” you asked.

“And made the biggest mistake of my entire life.”

You looked to the side and bit your lip slightly. “You know I thought it was my fault?” you turned your face back to Bucky’s confused one. “I thought I wasn’t good enough for you. That if I was enough you wouldn’t have left. Or if I was better you would’ve come back.”

He shook his head and started walking towards you to comfort you. “It was never your fault angel -”

You backed up slightly. “You don’t get to call me that. Not right now, not yet at least.”

He looked hurt slightly, but he nodded. After a few moments of silence, you scoffed slightly.

“You know, as much as I hate to admit it, I fell apart these past few weeks. Told myself that the only thing I wanted and needed was having you come back. And here you are and...I don’t know, Bucky.” you shrugged. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or think, you broke up with me because you were afraid of hurting me? I - “ you rubbed your eyes. “I just… I get it, but I just wish we could’ve had this conversation weeks ago, Buck.”

“Does this mean we’re done?” he asked timidly.

“I… I don’t know. I just…. I think i need a little bit of time. Please. Just some time to think.”

He nodded, though he looked slightly disappointed. “Yeah, of course.” you nodded, walking him over to the door, opening it. He turned around. “Is it okay to give you a hug, y/n?”

You thought about it for a moment before nodding, letting him wrap his arms around your waist as you looped them around his neck. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, tears forming in your eyes as you realized how much you missed this. How much you needed this. When he went to pull away, you held him a little more tightly before letting him go.

He smiled at you before turning to leave. “Take as much time as you need, y/n.”

You gave him the smallest of smiles back. “I’ll see you later Bucky.”

And with that, you closed the door behind you, not having a clue what any of this meant. This didn’t make it okay by any means, but maybe, just maybe, the two of you could start fresh. Together.

#bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #40s bucky barnes #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns x you #bucky fanfic #bucky #angst #angst angst angst #part two coming soon

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vixen1587-blog · 2 years

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MCU Queer, Deaf & Dad Representation

A pointless post about my personal thoughts on MCU representation for the things that matter to me. Being queer, being hard of hearing and positive representation of fathers.

Lets get this out of the way first. Disney is not your friend. Any representation (particularly in terms of LGBTQ+ & non-white characters) is going to be breadcrumbs at best & token at worst. Sometimes it can be better but its not the norm and it probably never will be no matter how hard we wish it. I hope I am wrong.

DEAF REPRESENTATION (MAKKARI, ECHO & HAWKEYE)

As a woman who is extremely hard of hearing, seeing Makkari on screen was an absolute fucking delight. No terrible explanation or ‘reason’ for her being deaf, she just is. It was not a hindrance. Ugh. Everything about her was just fantastic. The actress was simply amazing & so freaking charismatic I may have swooned a little, her fight scenes were incredible & characters just using sign language on screen so casually was honestly just really freakin’ great. Being deaf is not a sob story. Gives me hope that Echo will be done just as well & I legit screamed at my computer when I saw they finally gave Hawkeye his hearing aids.

SO HYPED FOR HAWKEYE. More so than Spiderman NWH.

Side note: Eternals was weird for me, I enjoyed it but honestly I want a movie just with Makkari, Phastos, Druig & Gilgamesh. (I refuse to acknowledge his death) They were just so much more interesting. I love Gemma Chan but by the end I sort of didn’t really care about Cersi/Ikaris or Sprite

QUEER REPRESENTATION

Speaking of previously mentioned token representation. LOKI. Fuck this show. Personal bias, I have never really cared about Loki as a character in the MCU so didn’t have any real expectations for that show but holy mother fucking banana cow was it a struggle to get through. (Except Classic Loki. Bring back Classic Loki. I need a whole show about Classic Loki yesterday. Please thank you) But the bisexual ‘coming out’ scene was honestly so pitiful it actually made me laugh. For the people out there struggling with their sexual identity and felt this scene really helped them, kudos to you & I take nothing away from your enjoyment of that but I also feel deep sorrow for you that you think that is all you deserve. That was NOT good representation no mater how you spin it. But that is not the worst of it. To those of you who identify as gender-fluid, I am still angry on your behalf. I am not gender-fluid, I don’t have any friends that are gender-fluid but fuck that show and you deserve so much better. You ARE better. That was not representation, that was an insult.

I’m also not going to address queer coded characters or queerbaiting in this post (mainly referring to Sam Wilson & Bucky Barnes) but I do have many thoughts about it. Maybe Ill do another post about it if I think anyone would read it. I actually have a post about Sambucky & musical identity coming up.

Moving On.

Phastos. How many times does Phastos acknowledge out loud that he is gay in the movie? Lets count. None. That’s right. None. And it was fucking glorious. That’s how low the bar is for queer representation is right now. It wasn’t mentioned. It was just his normal. The only exceptional thing about it was he mentioned that he found someone who he loved enough (& who loved him back) that it restored his faith in humanity. So much so that Phastos didn’t hide that has was an Eternal from him. To trust him enough to have a kid together. To just be normal. Phastos’ faith in humanity was restored because he happened to do the most normal human thing ever. He fell in love. It just happened to be with a man.

All scenes of them on screen together felt very real & I am so glad they did not shy away from the fact that there was obviously so much love between the two of them. Even the kiss was beautiful. Not one of those desperate passionate Hollywood kisses, but a kiss of real love & it was center screen. Just them. This was representation. It felt familiar. It felt real. Being gay was not his defining characteristic. Being gay wasn't even mentioned. There was no mocking or teasing & they didn't try to hide their love & adoration.

Hollywood has a long way to go but for a main stream superhero movie? This is a much better start.

And still speaking of Phastos...

POSITIVE REPRESENTATION OF DADS/STEP-DADS/FATHER FIGURES.

Media is absolutely shit to dads. Dads/step-dads/father figures are fucking amazing & not second class parents. And weirdly this is an area the MCU has actually seemed to take stance against, particularly recently. And I am all here for it.

You see Phastos & his husband Ben being the pinnacle of adorable dads for their son Jack? Fixing bicycles, panicking about other superheros babysitting? Just all so wholesome & positive I might cry.

Scott Lang trying his absolute hardest to be the best dad to Cassie? One of the hardest blows from Endgame for me was not allowing Scott to see her grow up. He deserved that. But they have time now. And holy fuck the healthy & loving relationship he has on screen with his ex-wife & her new husband? No jealousy, understanding and yes, step-dads are fucking awesome too. Just so fucking great.

Sam Wilson (my beloved) being the best uncle/ father figure to his two adorable nephews? Clearly he’s devastated at not being around to see them grow up as well but that shot of Sam holding the shield and his nephew just looking up at him in awe? Legit tears. More please.

(please MCU, Stop hurting Sam Wilson, get him into therapy and make Bucky earn his goddamn trust. Sam deserves it. Actually Sam Wilson deserves every fucking thing.)

Even a shout out to Shang Chi’s dad. Before everything went south, he loved his children desperately. I’d argue even as much after, but he was just blinded by grief. Not a bad dad, but a misguided one.

MORE POSITIVE DAD REPRESENTATION ON SCREEN PLEASE. DADS/STEP-DADS/FATHER FIGURES ARE NOT SECOND CLASS PARENTS.

*I would actually like to make a brief mention of the Aquaman movie here. The relationship between Arthur & his father was fucking great and unashamedly healthy, loving & full of adoration & respect. I know its DC and not really relevant to this post but I feel it needs to be acknowledged.*

That’s it. Rant over.

(Reference/context for clarity’s sake to avoid misunderstandings in this post)

-I am a late 30′s British white woman. I have not spoken about the significance of Phastos being a positive black gay role model. I am not qualified to speak about race/racism. The closet experience I have to this is being half polish and getting called ‘a bloody foreigner’ by pompous ladies in Cambridge who are somehow too old to die every time I leave the Polish deli.

-I am pansexual. In my teens I used to classify myself as bisexual until I got older & understood myself better. I lost my wife 8 years ago to ALS & am now happily existing with my outstanding 6ft cuddlebug builder rob & our two adopted cat children. We are very proud.

-I am 70% deaf. Born that way. Small tubes. Extremely sensitive to pressure changes, my ears don’t pop, I can’t ride a bike, I cannot go under water or on airplanes. Will eventually lose all ability to hear. On the plus side, I am incapable of getting travel sick and can live on rollercoasters FOREVER.

-I lost my dad to stomach cancer in 2003. I wasn’t even 18 and had a younger sister to look after. I remember him as a hard working, hilarious & generous man. I wish I would have known him better. 6 Month after this my mother went to prison for fraud.

Be kind to each other. Its really not that fucking hard.

#eternals #phastos #makkari #sam wilson #sambucky #scott lang #antman #fatws #echo #hawkeye #anthonymackie #paulrudd #bryan tyree henry #lauren ridloff #mcu #chloe zhao

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mickey-henry · 3 years

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Hey love,

Can you do something with roommate! Bucky surprising you on your birthday and making it special? 🥺💞

hi sky!! this is SO PRECIOUS!! 🥺 I combined this lovely idea with the request for @mostly-marvel-musings for a birthday with bucky so here it is! (also I couldn't wait for headcanon wednesday; I got too excited!) 💖

𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬

you weren’t expecting much for your birthday this year. all of your family is too far away and none of your friends were available to hang out. at this rate, you were planning on just cuddling up on the couch with a pizza and your favorite bottle of wine.

however, your roommate bucky believed you deserved all of the hype, so he got to work on planning a special celebration for the two of you.

you groggily shuffle to the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face.

you open the bedroom door, surprised by the smells wafting your way. bucky's making breakfast?

you reach the kitchen and finally remember what today is: your birthday.

party decorations are haphazardly set up; he tried his best, but he does not have an eye for interior design

the banner is lopsided, the streamers look a little silly, the balloons are chaotically placed around

the table is set neatly with a matching set of plates, cups, napkins, and cutlery that match your apartment’s aesthetic

his lack of taste is why your shared apartment is covered with succulents, cacti, and your paintings.

it seems that bucky had a secret plan in the works. you wonder how he hid all of this from you; this boy tells you everything.

he tried his best and it warms your heart. this definitely isn’t helping with your secret feelings you’ve been harboring for him since you met.

you turn to the kitchen table to see a wonderful spread of breakfast potatoes, scrambled eggs, delicately placed slices of honeydew and cantaloupe, and pancakes with blueberry smiley faces baked in the middle.

bucky is frantically working in the kitchen wearing only boxers and an apron that says “kiss da cook”

it looks like he’s trying to bake you a cake and is failing miserably; he’s made a mess of his face, his apron, and the kitchen

dishes lay everywhere and somehow flour is on the cabinets? you don’t know how he managed that. bucky’s cat, alpine, is enjoying watching bucky’s crazed state from the top of the refrigerator

“whatcha doin’ there, buckaroo?” you ask as you approach him.

“good mornin’ dove! i’m sorry about the mess, I thought i’d be done before you woke up and clearly I was wrong. whoever said that baking isn’t rocket science is a fucking liar because how the hell did I mess up such a simple recipe?! it has like eight steps—”

“i’m sure it’s going to be wonderful, bucky. I can’t believe you did all of this for me?”

“of course I did, my best girl deserves the world,” he answers sheepishly, running his hand through his messy hair.

his pet names make you fall harder each time he says one. being in love with your handsome roommate is getting exhausting.

“come and eat! I can finish this cake after we eat,” he insists as he pulls a chair out for you. he serves you a plate of food and pours you a cup of coffee before you can insist otherwise.

your coffee is made just the way you like it. your heart flutters—you’ve never told him how you take it, so he must’ve paid attention when you made it in front of him

you take a bite of the pancakes and stifle a moan, “holy shit bucky, this is so good.”

after you eat three plates of food (you couldn’t resist his smile when he offered you more), he runs to grab your present

the wrapping is a bit chaotic, but it gets the job done

he made a handcrafted card out of your craft supplies you leave all around the compartment

he knows how much you love succulents and cacti so he tried to paint them in watercolor

they look more like green blobs but its still the prettiest artwork you’ve ever seen because it’s from the boy you love with all your heart

the message inside makes your heart race

my dove, happy birthday! I hope this is the best one yet. I know you wanted to do more this year, but when we’re done with today, you won’t be missing anyone. I’m so glad that we met and I love living with you. you’re my best friend and I couldn’t imagine my life without you. you’re the best! -your buckaroo

a tear trickles down your cheek as you thank him

he looks at you with eager eyes as you unwrap his gift

it’s a scrapbook filled to the brim with pictures of the two of you, ticket stubs, and mementos from your adventures together

“I knew that these would be important to hold onto,” he murmurs, running a nervous hand behind his head and through his hair.

“bucky, this is so wonderful and special. thank you,” you whisper.

“I wanted it to be special because you’re special,” he says. he takes a deep breath before continuing, “there’s something i’ve been meaning to tell you, dove. you mean the world to me, as you know from what I just gave you, and I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t tell you how I feel. I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment we met and it gets harder to hide it everyday.”

you just stare at him silently, completely shocked.

after an agonizing minute passes, you finally mutter, “you’ve liked me this whole time?”

“uh, yeah, I have.”

you scoff. he looks hurt.

“no, wait! i’m not laughing at you. bucky, i’ve felt the same way this whole time.”

“you have?!”

“yes!!”

“we’re idiots.”

“yeah we are, but you’re my idiot, buckaroo.”

he finally kisses you, so sweetly and passionately. it’s everything you ever dreamed of and the best gift you could’ve asked for.

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fic #thefanbasewhore #mostly-marvel-musings #mickey henry's headcanons

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missjaystone · 3 years

Text

“Don’t Wake Up”

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader | Bucky Barnes x Reader Summary: Work keeps you busy. That's why as long as Steve's gentle and doesn't wake you up, he's free to do what he wants while you sleep, but what he wants is his best friend to feel what he feels. Word Count: 1,800

Trigger Warning(s): Somnophilia, NonCon/DubCon, Drugging Please DO NOT ignore trigger warnings and read at your own discretion.

Life was unpredictable, anybody who knew exactly how their life would go was either omnipotent or the most boring being alive. Early on you learned to roll with life's punches and that's how you were where you were right now. A top SHIELD agent trusted with a great deal of knowledge and an almost insane amount of clearance, working closing with the Avengers. You rose thru SHIELD's ranks fairly quickly, especially for someone of your age. You were mid-level when they unfroze Captain America. You were one of the people entrusted with the task of helping Steve warm up to this new 21st-century society, pun not intended.

Once the initial shock of being thrust into this world had worn off, you and Steve developed a comfortable and vital friendship. You two spoke multiple times a day and saw each other frequently. The two of you were together so often, people used to joke that if one of you was around, the other wasn't far behind and they usually weren't wrong. It was no secret nobody was surprised when Tony loudly made a scene when he saw you two sharing a New Year's kiss. Tony shouting "I knew they'd end up together! I fucking knew it!" to everyone on the Avengers team and a handful of SHIELD agents wasn't how you two intended on exposing your relationship, but life is unpredictable.

Things around you gradually became more complex but that wasn't a surprise, you just kept rolling with the punches. The battle of New York happened, Ultron happened, Hydra's infiltration of SHIELD happened, the team grew, the entire situation with the Sokovia Accords happened, the complexities already on your plates multiplied. Of course, you stuck with Steve thru everything, you never stopped having faith in him. There were a handful of times where you could've turned and stopped fighting but how could you abandon your Captain? You loved him. Over the years all the fights, all the curveballs, everything wore on you both and the two of you had to change with the times and adapt to your surroundings. You were both changing before each other. There were times where you didn't see each other for weeks at a time; Steve would get busy with his missions around the globe and you had a mountain of SHIELD files to deal with; drives that had to be decrypted and stored properly, reports that had to go to a dozen different people, agents to recruit and review, clips to scour with minute details.

Things got a little bumpy when Bucky came to stay at the tower; Steve trying to help his oldest friend get accustomed to everything and you helping any way you could. You couldn't bear the thought of telling Steve when you started to feel uncomfortable around the brunette. The lingering stares, the prolonged hugs, the borderline-peculiar conversations; you brushed it all off. This was a man who spent 70 years as a mind-controlled assassin, he had everything ripped from him and now he had to readjust to modern society. He had to learn how to form relationships again, he had to relearn everything so there were bound to be moments of discomfort as he navigated his way. In all of that, however, you missed the small frowns and brooding moments he had whenever you and Steve were being overly affectionate together. He'd never do anything about it though, you were Steve's. He'd had his fair share of ladies back in their time but you were Steve's girl, you made Steve happy and Bucky couldn't-wouldn't take that from him.

When your workload multiplied again, you weren't as available as you used to be and it wore on Steve a bit. He and his super-soldier stamina had gotten used to a certain level of intimacy that wasn't happening anymore. It came to a head one night when Steve was in the mood but you were too tired to even pretend. Your words were mumbled as you snuggled against your pillow but Steve heard them loud and clear "do whatever you need to get off, baby, just don't wake me up." He asked if you were sure and got a hum in response but that didn't entirely suffice. He gave your shoulders a small shake until you turned to look at him. You looked tired and were so close to kicking him out of bed "Stevie, do whatever you want just please let me sleep."

You two still had sex other times, they were more intimate and personal though. In a mildly humorous way, that seemed to boost your relationship some. You'd wake up the morning feeling surprisingly peaceful for a few minutes before your work to-do list came to mind and Steve found out he enjoyed the idea of doing something he wasn't supposed to. He'd made it into his own little game; how much could he do without waking you up?

Tonight, you had your nose buried in your computer screen and papers were strewn across the bed; you were already exhausted but you still had a number of things to finish. You were pulled out of your hype focused state when the bed dipped beside you. The blue-eyed man offered you a cup of water with a sweet smile "come on, I haven't seen you drink anything in over an hour." You thanked him with a quick peck before taking a long and much-needed drink, thanking him when you set the nearly-empty cup back down.

Time felt like it began to drag on slowly, heavy tiredness slowly enveloping you throughout the next hour. You didn't even realize you'd dozed off until Steve was gently laying you down, pulling the blankets over you. "Steve, I still have work to do," you forced yourself to mumble, everything just felt heavy. "You can't even keep your eyes open, finish it in the morning," he said softly. He hushed you when you tried to object "Captain's orders, doll." You couldn't argue with that. Literally, there wasn't an ounce of strength or a grain of energy to fuel a disagreement. You were out like a light in a manner of seconds.

The blond stayed snuggled up beside you, stroking your hair soothingly to lull you into a deep sleep. No more than ten minutes had passed before the door opened and closed without a sound. An unsure Bucky stood by the dresser with his hands in his pockets and spoke quietly "are you sure about this Steve?" He nodded "I'm positive, Buck. I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't sure about it. I see the way you look at her, you deserve happiness too y'know." Bucky started to question him but Steve stopped him "she'll love you as much as she does me, Buck, it'll take some time and subliminal messages but she will."

Bucky looked at your sleeping form in thought, you were a nice person; you were smart, helpful, genuine, charming, you made him feel normal. He'd never be normal but if having you made him feel that way, who was he to pass up the opportunity? He quickly shed his pajamas while Steve moved your bottoms down. They'd been planning this for what felt like ages and they knew there'd be no going back, but it gave them a chance at a future they got to actually choose.

A thick silence filled the room as Bucky moved slowly to hover above you, lining himself up at your entrance with a slightly-shaking hand. With one last confirmation look from Steve, he slowly eased himself into you. He bit his lip roughly to keep from groaning and wake you up. The crushed-up Valium in your water should've kept you from waking up at anything but he wasn't taking a chance and getting too caught up in the moment. He finally broke the silence with a mumbled groan after finally bottoming out. Bucky's eyes fell closed and he stilled to savor the feeling, almost cumming right then.

Very slowly, he started to pull his hips back before pushing back in just as slowly. He continued like this for what he thought was ages and when the only response from you was a mumble here or a moan there, he slowly picked up his pace. Steve was in heaven watching the scene unfold in front of him. There was a slight pang in his chest for betraying your trust and not only letting but encouraging his friend to use you but he had a plan, a plan he was confident in. He started off palming his throbbing erection over his sweatpants before eventually pulling them down and fisting his member. There were a few moments where both stilled in fear when you stirred before settling. Bucky finished first, his hips jerking briefly before they stilled, a satisfied groan leaving his lips as he moved some hair out of your face. Steve finished when he watched him slowly pull out and came with a muttered 'fuck'. Steve quickly grabbed a few tissues, handing some to Bucky to clean you up while he took care of himself. Once the evidence was removed, the men shared a tight hug. Bucky actually looked a little more like himself now, he looked the slightest bit happier and more at peace.

In your unconscious and drugged state, all that you really felt was a sort of tugging pressure but you couldn't open your eyes. You heard voices conversing quietly after the pressure was completely gone and you felt the bed move as somebody got up. Despite your best efforts to listen, you couldn't make out the words. It took all of your strength to open your eyes even slightly but you could've sworn you saw a brunette figure leaving the room. There was no time to process it before your eyes fell shut again and you were entirely asleep.

You still felt a bit groggy when you woke up in the morning but nothing seemed out of place. Steve was quick to appear with a couple of mugs of coffee, handing you yours before he took a seat. He planted a sweet kiss on your temple. When you didn't say anything after taking your mug, Steve looked you over "are you feeling okay, doll? Are you coming down with something?" He asked, some concern in his eyes as he placed the back of his hand to your forehead for a temperature check. You finally took his hand and kissed his palm, sending him a smile "I'm fine, baby, just a little groggy is all. Crazy dream is all." Steve smiled sweetly at you “wanna talk about it?" An image of Bucky on top of you flashed across your mind and you shook your head “I don’t even remember what it was about.” You kissed his cheek softly and smiled. After all, it was only a dream.

#Dark!Stucky #Dark!Steve Rogers #Dark!Bucky Barnes #Stucky x Reader #Steve Rogers x Reader #Bucky Barnes x Reader #Marvel Smut #Bucky Barnes Smut #Steve Rogers Smut #TW: NonCon/DubCon #TW: Somnophilia #TW: Drugging

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musette22 · 3 years

Text

So, tomorrow is the day 🦾

To everyone who is watching and who’s excited: HAVE SO MUCH FUN, and I hope it’s everything you’ve been hoping for and more 💜

To everyone who is watching but a bit apprehensive or anxious about it for whatever reason: I hope it’ll exceed your expectations and that you’ll come to enjoy it, and in the meantime I’m sending lots of love and support 💜

To everyone who isn’t planning on watching tomorrow, for whatever (non-assholish) reason: Please take care of yourself and remember that your own well-being & mental health are always paramount 💜

A few (lol) notes under the cut, for those who are interested (mostly aimed at the last category, I’d say!)

TLDR; I myself am not planning on watching tomorrow - I’ll probably watch the show at some point in the future, but I want to know exactly what I’m getting into before I do. I’m too emotionally invested in the relationship between Bucky and Steve to be able to enjoy it right now, but at the same time I’m also 100% rooting for the show to do well, for various reasons, and it does have my full support. For my personal mental health, I’ll likely be on Tumblr a little less for a while, at least while the show airs, but I’ll be running a queue and answering messages as much as possible.

As I’ve said before, I myself am not planning on watching tomorrow - I might watch the show at some point in the future, but I want to know exactly what I’m getting into before I do. At this point I don’t feel emotionally and mentally up to dealing with some developments this show is inevitably going to present. By that, I mean possible deaths, therapy sessions, mentions of Steve, new love interests etc. - I do not mean having a new Captain America, or two of my favourite characters getting a chance to shine and bond, just for the record.

Despite my reservations, I am also 100% rooting for the show to do well, for various reasons. I’m so hyped for Sam being Cap, I’m so loving the dynamic between Bucky and Sam, I’m so looking forward to Sharon finally getting the screentime and character development she deserves, and I’m so so happy for and proud of Anthony and Sebastian for being co-leads in their very own blockbuster TV show - and for all those reasons I want the show to be a great success. Millions of people are going to be watching and loving the show and I couldn’t be happier about that.

As for myself, I know I’m too emotionally invested in the relationship between Bucky and Steve to be able to enjoy it. In fact, for a Stucky shipper like myself (i.e. an extreme (mono)shipper), the fact that part of the show deals with Steve Rogers leaving his best friends and fucking off to the past to have his perfectly heteronormative and incredibly OCC happily ever after is pretty much the worst thing I can imagine, and it’s enough to actively spoil the whole thing for me. I wish it wasn’t, because as I’m pretty sure you’re all aware, I’m kind of a massive Sebastian/Bucky stan and I fucking love Anthony/Sam to boot, and I’m devastated to be missing out on the fun here. But I’m self-aware enough to know that it’s better if I don’t put myself through this.

And I know some people might say that I’m being dramatic and the show hasn’t even aired yet, which is fair lol. But I’ve been so upset at every trailer I’ve seen, and I’ve cried so much just thinking about it for the past few months, that I’m pretty positive it’s just not for me. I’m fully aware it’s not healthy to feel this emotionally compromised by a TV show, and since this type of hurt is something I have the ability to distance and protect myself from, I owe it to myself to do so.

I’m sure Mackie and Seb would agree, and they still have my full support, and so does the show itself to a large extent. But I’m going to stay over here in my little comfort bubble for as long as I need to, and I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with that. We all have to do what we have to do to cope, especially this year. On the bright side, I’m super excited to do some proper writing again, because I haven’t been able to as much as I’d like lately and I have signed up for several Stucky bangs 🙈

So anyway, this was (characteristically) way too long and too pompous but it’ll have to do lol. I’m not sure how much you guys are going to notice as a result of it, but from tomorrow, I’ll likely be on here a little less - at least on Fridays and probably Saturdays, for the duration of the show. I’ll be running a queue, I’ll be answering DMs and asks (but most likely not too many about the show itself, because as you can tell, I need to step back from that a bit for right now) and working on my writing, but I won’t be checking my dash much. So if there’s something you’d really like me to see, please feel free to tag me or send it to me!! If I do reblog any TFATWS content, I’ll of course make sure to tag it for spoilers with ‘tfatws spoilers’.

Alright, I think that’s all I wanted to say for the moment, but again, if you’d like me to clarify anything, do feel free to ask me (nicely). I’m sending everyone who needs it lots of love, support, bear hugs and smooches. You’re not alone and things might be weird for a while, but maybe it won’t be so bad, and in any case it’ll be alright in the end. Maybe a bit different, but still alright ❤️

#fws opinions #minnie talks #idk how else to tag this so hopefully this is enough lol #❤️❤️❤️

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blushing-starker · 3 years

Note

Another holiday one: Peter and Pepper going caroling together and they visit Tony in the workshop. The bots are wearing Santa hats

"Peter, darling, you know you can get him anything and he'll be over the moon, right? He loves you and it'd kill Tony to know this is causing you so much stress. We could always do a joint gift if that helps? After caroling, the night is ours and so is the mall."

God, what did he do to deserve Miss Potts? She has a solution for all the problems in the world, never hesitates to take what she wants and could probably kick his ass twenty different ways without breaking a sweat. Just last night, she'd cocked her head, put on a disappointed face and Peter was done, defeated, tore himself away from Tony's side at the lab to devour some freshly baked pie Rhodey had dropped by. They'd been working for hours, basically a hair's breadth away from a breakthrough, but Miss Potts didn't like her boys tinkering too long without eating.

Now she's holding his hand like it isn't serious, like it doesn't set Peter's heart aflame because this is Pepper Potts, kind and strong and witty and amazing, showing affection in a public place without shame or fear. And yeah, Tony would never be cold to him outside, but the man's a koala when you earn his trust. Peter has to practically pry the billionaire off from Pepper when the CEO has a meeting to conquer (he's dating a CEO, he's dating a billionaire, he's dating a CEO, he's dating a-

"Sweetheart, I see the gears turning in that head of yours, same as Tony. What is it, Peter?" The snow starts to fall a bit harder and they quicken their pace, catch up with Nat, Bucky and Bruce as they line themselves up before the next porch, ready to start caroling their hearts out. Who'd have thought they enjoyed the season this much?

The others didn't come because decorating the tower and baking dessert for 20 plus people took a team effort. Peter had wrapped an arm around Miss Potts' waist and swung them to the car before they were snatched up by Steve to help in the kitchen. They'd been pressed pretty close, Peter not wanting to risk hurting his, what, lover? Girlfriend? His lover's wife? Either way, he had curled around the tall woman, tried to not jostle her too much in case she got sick. It had been nice. Very nice, really.

The whole thing had lasted maybe thirty seconds so yeah. Technically, this is the first time they've had physical contact for a relatively long period of time. He's eighteen now, not supposed to be getting so hyped and nervous over something as simple as holding hands and going caroling along a snow covered neighborhood adorned with a thousand Christmas lights. But, but he's always been a romantic at heart and the neon glow is reflected off of shiny snowflakes that taste like something pure and special, his teammates are joyous, look decades younger, Bucky's cat Alpine has stubbornly decided to crisscross his ankles and Miss Potts ' is just really fucking pretty, ok?

"Peter?" He gets why Tony can submit so easily to the force of nature that is Pepper Potts ; is rather sure it has something to do with honest eyes and a gentle way of loving broken men.

"Um, you're very pretty, Miss Potts," way to go, Peter. It's a wonder he and Tony even got together when they share one brain cell and it's mainly dedicated to superhero work. Or to Miss Potts.

She softens, tugs at him until they wrap around each other and then kisses him. Light, barely there kisses on pale cheeks, his eyelids, the curve of a red nose, under an unhinged jaw. Nat shoves the team forward, says the next house will probably give them candy while winking at Peter, grins when he turns scarlet. Bucky grumbles, "it's not exactly Halloween," but she yanks the supersoldier away from them so there's some semblance of privacy present.

Miss Potts sighs, sets her chin on his head and Peter short circuits right there, is delighted by the fact that she's taller than him, vows to buy her as many heels and high boots as possible because this is extremely nice and being tucked under her is a dream come true.

"You're so nice, Pete. I don't think Tony's gonna last a month before he says he loves you, not with someone so considerate and amazing. Nat bet it'd take me three months, but right now? Tony would take one look at me and say three weeks. We've been outside for a while, how about we head back home? See if our ridiculous baby got away with sneaking to the lab?"

Oh. Oh, is he supposed to speak after that? Function when she just sent his world tumbling down in a second or two? He inhales slowly, presses his frost bitten lips to a long neck and shivers when Miss Potts laughs, sound as pure and lovely as the freshly fallen snow around them.

---:---------:----------:---------:-----------:---------:--------:---------:---

On the way back home (HomeHomeHomeHomeHomeHome), he catches sight of a pretzel stand and nearly slams them into the side of a building. Miss Potts does that thing where she chuckles almost silently and maybe it'll take her three weeks but Peter's ready to declare his love for her right then, absolutely smitten and aware of it. He wonders if this is what Tony felt when he fell for Miss Potts. Wonders if his boyfriend would tell him all about it soon enough.

Miss Potts strokes his cheek, smile this side of sharp and mischievous. "Does my boy want something?" It's a soft question with a soft touch with a not so soft look in eyes that could tear him apart any day of the week. His web snaps and they tumble down to the street, are saved by the fact there's three feet of snow by the building's back entrance and they weren't that high up.

Peter gets a pretzel from Miss Potts.

------:--------:--------:--------:--------:--------:--------:--------:-------:-

Their lover (loverloverloverlover) is, in fact, hiding in the lab. There's a neon glow here, too, wrapped around Tony as he reassembles holograms, sketches new designs for the spider suit, revises old architecture plans with the gaze of a hawk.

"Anthony Potts, you put down that hologram right now! You were supposed to help out and decorate; not adjust Peter's suit. Again." Tony jolts back, clicks his fingers and everything disappears from the lab table as if Jarvis had never brought several of the genius' secret files to life. He looks like a little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar and Peter isn't gonna let him forget this for as long as they live.

There's plenty of space on the table now so he settles there, swings his legs up and down, grins up at a fidgeting Tony. "Anthony Potts is new." A cookie tray is tucked away behind a pile of papers and it's too tempting not to snack on one even if he just inhaled a pretzel.

"I can call you Peter Potts, too, you know. Don't tease him, I know you would've been here helping Tony out if we hadn't gone caroling."

It's Tony's turn to grin and Peter's turn to flush now. Two more cookies are snatched, shoved into his face. "I kind of like that. The Potts thing. It's nice."

Miss Potts crosses over to them, wraps a finger around the one curl he can never tame and pulls on it until he's leaning on her palm with the sudden urge to never leave the lab. "I'm glad you like it, Peter. Anthony here has to go clean the dining table, but we can cuddle on the couch to warm up before seeing what's already cooked. How's that sound?"

"It sounds like your husband is being punished for upgrading your boyfriend's suit and making sure he doesn't die fighting some weird alien dog." Tony huffs, steals Dum-E's Santa hat with a pout before dragging himself up the stairs to the kitchen. "I'm saving everyone's lives, but no. I gotta see Steve butcher a Christmas tradition."

"There's nothing wrong with how Steve cooks the meal."

"Tell that to my grandmother and nanny. Even Jarvis could cook better and he doesn't have any hands." Said A. I hums in a suspiciously noncommittal way as his creator starts yelling about blood being spilled if a single stain is found in his prized kitchen.

The bots all seem to sigh in relief, roll over to bump Peter's knee or shoulder as affectionately as Alpine. He patiently fixes their elf ears and hats, rubs a few bells clean from grease and motor oil because Tony probably hadn't noticed and wouldn't notice until they accidentally stained something. Don't ask him or Miss Potts how, but Tony's children could ruin a fifty thousand dollar couch with purple paint without there necessarily being a can of paint around the lab.

Miss Potts' plan of cuddling on the couch is derailed when they hear screeching and curses pertaining to five different languages coming from above. She sighs, takes Peter's hand and he already knows she'll come up with a solution. She always did.

(Maybe it was time to explain he'd already found their gifts, twin silver rings with all their initials engraved hidden in his coat pocket.)

(And then Tony starts shouting something in Italian, Steve might be reverting to an Irish accent, Alpine hops on the dining table to pounce on the chicken, Miss Potts has to yank her husband away from the oven, Bucky's hair nearly catches on fire and yeah, he'll just show them on New Year's.)

#peter parker #tony stark #pepper potts #ironspider #starker #peter x tony #peter parker x tony stark #i am sleepy #i forgot #once again #the ot3 name #my writing #thank you darling katie #katie bug #🐞#pepper x peter #pepper x tony

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electricbarnes · 3 years

Text

i feel like i always say that i’m writing but never actually prove it….. so here’s some proof lol

i’m not the fastest at writing and i’m always jumping around between ideas, so it takes me awhile. also cause i really want them to be best they can be, ya know?

so here’s some sneak peaks of what i’ve been working on!

everything you do, i wanna do it with you (bucky barnes x reader)

The moment is disrupted by your phone alarm. You hop off the bar stool and open the oven to inspect the cookies.

“They’re done!”

You turn to find the oven mitts, but Bucky stops you. “I got it,” he says as he pulls the hot tray out of the oven with his mental hand. He knows it's ridiculous because you literally have the power to heal yourself, but he didn’t want to risk you getting burned.

“Well that’s convenient,” you giggle.

You let the cookies cool down for a bit, pouring yourself and Bucky a glass of milk in the meantime. Once you’ve deemed it cool enough, you take a bite into a cookie and hum in satisfaction. “They came out pretty good!”

Bucky grabs one of the cookies and takes a bite, savoring the perfectly melted chocolate chips. “These are delicious, doll” he compliments, letting the pet name slip.

He barely notices the brief surprise on your face, before you’re looking down and mumbling a thanks. Bucky finds the way you shy from his compliments endearing. He thinks you’re sweet, almost like the taste of these cookies.

Interrupting the moment, Steve walks into the kitchen slightly pausing at the scene in front of him.

“Steve!” you jump away from Bucky and bring the plate of cookies towards Steve. “You gotta try the cookies Bucky and I made.”

“You and Bucky made these, huh?” he says with a questioning look towards his friend. Bucky glares at the knowing smirk on the man’s face.

Punk.

there’s a difference between a want and a need (bucky barnes x reader)

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Huh,” You snapped out of your stare at the sound of Natasha’s teasing tone. You can feel the heat growing on your face, realizing she caught you staring at Bucky. Maybe she’ll leave it alone.

“You should go talk to him,” she says and turns to the bartender ordering a drink for herself.

Of course not.

“Who?” Playing dumb to a literal spy, not your smartest move.

Natasha gives you a look that says Seriously?

You look down to your drink and stir the contents, though it’s mostly ice now. “No, I don’t wanna interrupt them.”

“Nonsense, I’m sure Bucky wouldn’t mind leaving the boys to talk with a pretty girl,” she confidently states. “I was right about that dress by the way. You look great in it.”

You couldn’t help but smile at her compliments. “You’re one to talk. I don’t think anyone can wear green like you can,” you say admiring the way the simple emerald dress fits her perfectly. Though you genuinely mean the compliment, you’re hoping she doesn’t notice you brushing over her first comment.

“Thanks babe,” she says with a grin. She turns away for a second, thanking the bartender for her drink. “You should ask him out sometime,” she continues.

Damn.

“Not happening,” was your immediate reply.

“Why not?” she says with amusement at your reluctance.

Now it was your turn to give her an incredulous look. “Because… I don’t know,” you say, not really knowing how to explain it.

“Look, you obviously like him.”

“Is it really that obvious?” You thought, well hoped, that you hid your feelings well.

“To me it is,” she shrugs. “But super soldiers tend to be pretty oblivious,” she remarks with a sip of her drink.

“Oh god,” you sigh at the thought of him finding out. You wouldn’t be able to look him in the eyes ever again. But so many people must like him too, he’s probably used to it.

“It’s cute,” the smirk on her face returns, clearly noticing your distress.

You roll your eyes, “No, it’s creepy!”

She laughs at this, “Having a crush isn’t creepy.”

“Well, it’s definitely embarrassing.”

Natasha sets her drink down on the bar countertop. She grabs you by the shoulders and shakes you gently. She looks you intently in the eyes, you have no choice but to meet her gaze. “You are a beautiful human being and Barnes should consider himself lucky to even be noticed by you.”

Damn this woman can hype you up.

The panic you were feeling goes away at her words. “Thanks Nat,” you say sheepishly.

She smiles triumphantly at you and lets you go, returning back to her drink. “You deserve a nice date…. Don’t be offended by this, but when was the last time you went on one?”

You shrink at the question. The thing was, you hadn’t really had many dates, if you can even consider them dates. No one has ever explicitly asked you on a date. You never dared to ask anyone out, too shy and the fear of rejection was too strong. So, you’ve never even been in a relationship before. It’s not a bad thing, but some days you feel like you’re missing out on something. Only on nights when you’re watching cheesy rom-coms do you really think about what it’d be like to be in a relationship. You were a bit of a hopeless romantic, emphasis on the hopeless.

“Actually uh…. I haven’t really been on a date before,” you say quietly.

Natasha nearly spits out her drink at the news, “What?!”

if you’re happy, i’m happy for you (steve rogers x reader)

Admittedly, what you did was risky and could’ve gone horribly wrong, but you didn’t want to hear that. You got the files and made it out alive, that’s what was important. Steve couldn’t let it go though.

“What you did was reckless and stupid. You disobeyed my direct order,” he lectured you as you were walking back into your room.

You knew this argument was coming as soon as the mission was over.

“I had an opportunity and I took it. Don’t act like you wouldn’t have done the same,” you say tiredly as you sat on your bed and began removing your combat boots, kicking them away with a little more force than you intended.

“You’re not the one in charge. I should have you suspended for what you did,” he stands with his arms crossed, looking down at you.

You shot him a glare, “Are we really doing this again?”

“You just don’t seem to listen,” he says, the stern look on his face never wavering.

“God, just fucking let it go! The mission was a success!” you yell, throwing your hands up in frustration.

“That’s not the point. Do you even realize how much you were risking!?” he yells back.

“I knew what I was doing Steve,” you stand, holding his stare before turning away to continue undressing. “I don’t get why you’re so mad about this. I was doing my job, just like I’ve done every mission before.”

“And I was doing mine, which is keeping you and the team safe. But you decided to go and almost get yourself killed,”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” you seethed.

“You’re really not getting this, are you?” the frustration and defeat clear in his voice.

“Natasha does the same thing and I don’t ever see you getting on her case about it!” you argue back.

“That’s different.”

“How is it different?!”

“Because I love you!”

That was the first time he had ever said those words.

It shouldn’t have been that way. It shouldn’t have been said in frustration, despite the passion. But in that moment, you didn’t care. Hearing it still made your heart skip a beat.

thanks for reading! let me know which ones you’re interested in!

#bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #i've been writing these over months #im just trying to finish them sdkfjsdjdf #if you followed me for my writing #thanks for being patient with me !!!#if this flops you didnt see this

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stjernfaerie · 4 years

Text

I finally watched all of MCU

in release order because IT MAKES SENSE!!!!

special thanks to @littlegingrnut who watched ALL OF THEM with me. She’s the best.

Idk if anyone cares at all, but I feel like sharing, so here’s some thoughts and reactions, enjoy:

Phase 1:

Iron man

okay but like how was Tony such a jerk in the beginning only to become like the most lovable character ever??

YINSEN DID NOT NEED TO DIE :((

did not like the antagonist what was that

I mean he’s not bad I just didn’t like him that much

I wanna get myself a jarvis tho

all in all, really enjoyed it

got me really excited to watch more

The Incredible Hulk

didn't watch cuz aly said not necessary

we just skimmed over the important parts

oh and watched the end credits scene

Iron man 2

this was really great

okay but like I love Ivan Vanko hes such a great antagonist

I LOVE TONY

HE’S SO GREAT

THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND EVERYTHING GOSH AAH

oh damn ~Natasha Romanoff~

ma’am-

Pepper as a powerful business lady? YES

just... really great shit right here

Thor

Mmmmmm I don't see the hype about Loki??

his two faced-ness is annoying me

also Thor? I didn't love him at first,, he's a bit cliché

STELLAN SKARSGÅRD YES SWEDISH REP

okay but Thor is a good boi actually,,, I take it back he’s pretty great

Oh nooo Loki - yeah lol as if he actually died

YO WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT END CREDITS SCENE that got me all like WTF and shit

also told ya Loki didn’t die

Captain America: The First Avenger

okay full disclosure, I actually watched this one time before bc I started watching them in chronological order but never got any further than this

it made so much more sense this time

I liked it so much better this time

because THE RELEASE ORDER MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

anyway

this was good !!

I'm gay for Peggy omg

and Steve is such a good boi

DID BUCKY REALLY HAVE TO DIE

all in all not my favourite tho, not too memorable tbh

"I had a date" 😭

The Avengers

ohhh man

ALL OF THEM TOGETHER? UGH YES

Oh hello Dr. Banner nice to see u

Loki bro pls chill

OKAY HULK HELLO

NATASHANATASHANATASHA AAAHH I'M GAY

still don't get the Loki hype tbh. maybe a lil bit but idk

THOR OKAY I LOVE THOR NOW

TONY WHAT THE FUCK NO NO NO TONY DON'T

oh okay he's good

I love them all so much oh gosh

I MADE IT THROUGH PHASE ONE WOHOOOO

***

Phase 2

Iron man 3

this movie changed me

aly can confirm - I was very much not okay after seeing this

literally had anxiety through all of it

I mean I LOVED it

but like

the ptsd :(((

although I do love that they showed that, just made me love Tony even more

just... showing the ugly parts - love that shit

but also like noooo tony bby :((((

HARLEY!!!! IS SO GREAT !!! AND ALY SAID HE COMES BACK AT ONE POINT!! YAY

just.... Tony Stark man.

great antagonist, love the whole mandarin thing

EXTREMIS? NO THANK U that honestly gives me like zombie ish vibes or smth I don’t like it

but like it was great

OH PEPPER JUST BECAME 10x HOTTER DAMN SHE JUST GETS MORE AND MORE ATTRACTIVE EACH MOVIE HUH

PEPPER ALMOST DYING? NOPE

THE PAIN IN TONY'S FACE? NOPE

all in all loved this so much and I am still not really okay

Thor: The Dark World

I see why people think this is the worst Thor movie.

DON’T GET ME WRONG IT WAS GREAT

but like,,, meh? the big end fight was so anti-climactic? not epic at all like what the fuck

I LOVE DARCY

but she's clearly gay so stop makin her fool around with the intern

but like Thor is such a soft boi and I love him

again, Loki's two-faced-ness – aRH

but,,,, I get the Loki hype now

I'm aboard the train

I love Loki

oh oh oh the part in his prison cell when Thor comes to talk to him and is all like "enough tricks" and then his cell is all torn up and he's all torn up and AH BABY 😭

Thor just needs cuddles

Aaaaand this is where I accidentally got the worst possible spoiler. :)))

I wanted to watch some wholesome Tony Stark content before bed and so I searched youtube for "Iron Man" and clicked on a video I thought looked nice and wholesome. I accidentally read the top comment and then proceeded to break down and freak out to Aly and Hanna on Aly’s live, and they comforted me and stuff <3

Aly then told me that “hey remember that I told you that the little boy in Iron Man 3 comes back at one point? Yeah that’s at the funeral”

STUPIDLY, I then watched the death scene on YouTube, went to bed crying, and of course, dreaming about it. I will never be okay again and I will never be ready for Endgame thank you and goodbye.

anywAY,,,,,

Captain America: Winter Soldier

*SO MUCH SCREAMING*

I thought that Bucky didn’t deserve to die - and he didn’t - but like,,, DYING WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN THIS

the ~bromance~

nat and steve I mean, so good

I AM NOT OKAY I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS MOVIE BUT IT WAS AMAZING

Natasha tho mmmmmhhf

I was rly confused while watching but like everything came together at the end and it was so nice and damn this is one of my favorites so far

Sam is great I want more of Sam

Guardians of the Galaxy

multiple people had told me that they thought I’d really like this movie

honestly? I didn’t

it was kinda meh?

like I found it very predictable and cliché and not in a delightful way

idk if it’s just that I know that Chris Pratt is a dick but I don’t like Peter

I rly like Gamora and Nebula, but like I’m a lesbian, so I don’t think anyone’s surprised that I like the traumatized warrior gals

but like in general I’m kinda disappointed

I only gasped like twice, and it was barely gasp-worthy moments

Avengers: Age of Ultron

All of them together just makes me so happy, they’re so cute with each other AH

loved Ultron as the antagonist. that was great.

but,,,, I was a bit disappointed that we didn’t really get to see any regret from Tony bc he created Ultron

THE TWINS ARE FANTASTIC

whatever’s going on with Bruce and Nat, I don’t like it

TOO MANY moments that reminded me of the spoiler that I refuse to speak. Did not enjoy

everyone just needs to be hugged why doesn’t anybody HUG THEM????

not happy about Jarvis dying :((( even tho he technically didn’t die but like HE’S NOT JARVIS ANYMORE IS HE

and then Tony just replaces him with this Friday just like that??? no i’m not okay with that

in a ranking scenario this one falls in like the top of the middle range? Like it’s not one of the favorites, but it’s still up there.

I FUCKING DID IT AGAIN ARGH

I was just reading about new MCU projects that are coming up and THERE WAS A SPOILER WARNING, but STUPID AS I AM I DISREGARDED that and kept on reading. I was just skimming through the text and I read “Loki who dies” and stopped right there, because AAHH FUCKING SHIT

I was on a call with Aly as this happened and so I told her that I had given myself a spoiler again and that it was about Loki, and she was all like I can’t remember anything that happens to Loki hmm, and so I thought YAY it’s okay, they just meant one of the times when he fake died!!! so I went on to keep reading, but before I could read anything else Aly stopped me, remembering. She told me it would be gut-wrenching and terrible and I’m just-

So disappointed in myself.

Ant-Man

it was an enjoyable movie, but like,,, a little meh?

I feel kinda the same as I did with GOTG

but I like each of them better than the other for different reasons? idk???

the plot wasn’t very thick, like I could have gone away to pee without pausing and probably not miss too much

I didn’t really get invested in the story or the characters

but it was enjoyable for sure

Sam!!! Hello!!!!

Again, like with GOTG, I found it kinda cliché, but in a more delightful way this time

WE MADE IT THROUGH PHASE 2 AND PASSED THE HALF-WAY POINT WOHOOOOO

***

Phase 3

Captain America: Civil War

I constantly needed to be hugged while watching this

in the end I was fine, like I’ve been way less okay after some of the other movies, but during? needed hugs and cuddles

I love that they were fighting each other it was just... umff you know

but also like,,, LOVE EACH OTHER

Wanda and Vision? no thanks I HATE IT

Steve and Sharon?? NO THANKS I HATE IT

literally that’s just weird on SO many levels

and that kiss was-- ugh I hated it.

SPIDER BOY !!!!! UGH I LOVE HIM ALREADY

Black Panther heLLOOO

ALL THE STUCKY THOOO

Tony and Steve fighting in the end got me :(

Doctor Strange

This one falls at the bottom of my list

It was the shortest movie but it felt SO LONG because I was so bored through all of it

it just never got me hooked, I didn’t get invested in the story at all.

there weren’t even any characters that I liked enough to want to see more

sure another infinity stone and getting to know doctor strange and shit, I get why you kinda need to watch it

but I doubt I’ll watch it again

Guardians of the Galaxy 2

just like with the first one, kinda meh

I didn’t really get into it until the last half hour or so

the music really carried this movie tho

and baby groot !!!

I love Nebula so much, such a great character

Yondu dying was really great, it did a lot for his character

I still don’t really like Peter Quill

I feel like it was barely contributing to the infinity saga, the only thing that’s somewhat connected is that Nebula wants to kill Thanos, and the only reason I know that’s connected is because of spoilers

because I’m not really supposed to know the significance of Thanos at this point

but then again, maybe I’ll feel differently when I’ve finished all the movies

Spiderman: Homecoming

SPIDEY BOY !!!!!!!!!

THIS IS A FAVORITE

I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS MOVIE

THE TONY/PETER INTERACTIONS WERE SO GREAT

PETER IS A BABY AND HE’S SO GREAT AND AAAAAHH

HE’S ON MY LIST BTW

AND LIKE,,, CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS FIGHTING SOUNDS COMPARED TO EVERYONE ELSE’S???? Like steve and thor and shit are all like huOH heeeUH oAH ya know?? and then peter’s over here like eeh heh mmmMHF

HE’S JUST REALLY GREAT AND AAH I LOVED THIS MOVIE SO MUCH

LITERALLY SMILED THROUGH ALMOST ALL OF IT

except when things were going bad and during the fight scenes and shit and when he was in big danger and stuffs

BUT LIKE AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

SO GOOD

OH OH OH AND STEVE’S LITTLE EDUCATIONAL VIDEOS WERE SO CUTE AH

hehehheheh and the end credits tho heheheheh

ANYWAY I LOVED THIS MOVIE SO SO SO SOO MUCH

Thor: Ragnarok

ANOTHER FAVORITE AAAAH

ALL THE BROTHERLY MOMENTS THO

Kinda mad that we didn’t get a hug there in the end but oh well

Thor is so sassy and goofy in this one I love it

ugghhhhh I love Loki so much

Hela has so much Maleficent vibes

Heimdall yESSS !!!

all the Thor/Hulk interactions were so PRECIOUS AAH

this was just such a great movie with great character development for both Thor and Loki and ughhhh IT WAS SO GOOD

“get help” was fucking ICONIC

VALKYRIE THO

oof not excited for infinity war :((

Black Panther

this one falls somewhere in the middle for me

like it was good, but it’s not up there

my main issue with it is that it didn’t really feel so much like a superhero movie, it was more just like... family drama

but Shuri tho, love her

and all the awesome ladies fighting!!! yes!!!!

BUCKY!!!

Avengers: Infinity War

I am not okay

I will never be okay again

I thought Loki dying was gonna be the worst part - and honestly, knowing about it beforehand made it less painful actually

but NO NO NO

THE LAST 15 MINUTES IS JUST A CRYFEST HUH

REAL NICE THANK YOU

oh gosh I can’t even think

I told y’all I didn’t like Peter Quill and well, HE DESERVED WHAT HE GOT

oh gosh nope

I’ve been feeling guilty that all of y’all had to wait a full year for endgame but AT LEAST THEN YOU HAD TIME TO BE OKAY AGAIN BEFORE ENDGAME

fucking shit what have I gotten myself into

Ant-Man and the Wasp

I liked this one better than the first ant-man

It’s still not up there but it was good

idk it could just be bc I know the characters more this time or because I kind of had pretty low expectations but I liked this more

oh also maybe I was just happy that I didn’t have to see like all my favorite characters die like I did yesterday :(((

still not okay

anyway, ant-man and the wasp

I really liked Ava, really great character honestly

I liked Hope a whole lot more this time around

still don’t really like her and Scott together, especially after her mother like talked through him and shit. I feel like if I was Hope and my mother talked to me through my love interest, I would feel pretty weird about it all

but maybe that’s just me idk

oh but what I do like about scott and hope is all of hank’s comments about them

he’s funny hehehe

also Luis! great dude

okay but Bill FOSTER???? as in JANE FOSTER?? SEEMINGLY HAVING NO CONNECTION AT ALL???

there’s too many double names in this whole ass franchise and I’m upset

two Peters, two Eriks, two Fosters.... like I know that’s what real life is like, people have the same names, but THIS IS FICTION

YOU CAN AVOID THE CONFUSION

that wasn’t totally related to this movie specifically but this was the third strike dudes, I couldn’t just ignore it anymore.

oh oh oh and I did not appreciate the mid credits scene, I DON’T NEED REMINDERS OF THAT PAIN THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Captain Marvel

this one falls somewhere in the middle for me

like it was good, and I enjoyed it a lot, but it just wasn’t really anything that left me all like woooaaaah omg AH you know???

I really liked how it connected back to previous movies like with Ronan and the Kree people from GOTG and the tesseract and all that jazz

where can I get myself a flerken tho I want one

I appreciate that no one turned into dust, that was nice

my main problem with this movie is that HER POWERS MAKE NO SENSE

like in the beginning it was kinda okay. I didn’t understand her powers, but at least they felt reasonable

then we got to the end and all of a sudden she’s flying and glowing and strong enough to stop and redirect a fuckin missile, and then she’s FLYING INTO BOMBS AND COMING OUT THE OTHER END COMPLETELY UNSCATHED??

OH AND THEN SHE FLIES INTO FUCKIN SPACE WITHOUT A HELMET OR ANYTHING AND SHE CAN BREATHE JUST FINE???

it just makes no sense, it’s completely unreasonable and it makes her too perfect to me. Too unbeatable. I don’t like it.

but all in all a good movie, loved seeing young Fury and shit

Avengers: Endgame I WILL NEVER BE READY

As I thought, I wasn’t ready

But, I actually think that knowing about Tony beforehand made it a bit easier

I still wish I hadn’t known

and I still bawled like a baby

but like,,, I think I would have been way worse off if I hadn’t known

I’m just so sad now

I really need a hug

and even though I just cried more than I’ve done all year I need to cry some more I think

I’m glad everyone who got dusted came back, although I kinda knew they would

well, I would have been fine with Quill staying dusted tbh. I really don’t like that guy

NATASHA WAS NOT ALLOWED TO DIE, I WILL NOT BE OKAY WITH THIS :(

oh gosh yeah I know I have more thoughts about this movie that I wanna say but I need to be more okay first oh man

okay hi again, it’s the next day and I’m still sad but here are some more thoughts:

I hated the whole Bruce/Hulk think. All the good parts about each side of his character were just erased.

I don’t even see the purpose of it.

Okay I kinda knew that Steve was gonna go back to the 40s, but I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT SO SHH

anyway, I didn’t like Steve staying in the 40s, and here’s why:

he knew that this was the single one out of 14 million times they won against Thanos, so he knew that changing anything at all would fuck it up

but at the same time, I find it hard to believe that Steve could be aware that Tony and Nat dies and not want to do anything about it

even though he knows he can’t

so wouldn’t it have been easier to just go back to the present after he returned all the stones? So he wouldn’t have to live with that dilemma?

ALSO, I WILL NOT ACCEPT that after everything he did to get Bucky back, he just leaves him. Just like that.

Literally the only reason this makes sense is as a setup for the Falcon and The Winter Soldier Disney+ series.

But I still don’t like it

Spiderman: Far From Home

This was nice, I needed this.

I didn’t like it as much as homecoming, but I didn’t expect to considering how much I loved hoco

it was really nice to see some more Peter Parker bc i love him but also like,,, most of it was traumatized spidey boy :((( and that was sad :(

He’s literally just a child and he’s already so damaged and it’s big big sad

the high school vibes were immaculate

not that I’ve actually been to high school in the US but like,,, it felt like a high school movie okok

Okay but like May’s character really did a full 180? I don’t really understand where that all came from, but uhhhh okay then

Okay, Quentin Beck.

before we realized he was bad, I already didn’t like him, cuz it seemed like he was gonna start to become a new father figure for Peter and I WAS NOT COOL WITH THAT

but then I understood that that wasn’t happening so it’s all good

he’s a pretty cool antagonist. not a fave, but pretty cool.

OH OH FLASH IS SO GAY FOR SPIDERMAN THO RIGHT

he actually got some real nice character development that I had not expected, that was nice

all in all, great movie, I love my spidey boy.

pretty sad that I’m done tho... :(

but also like, I watched all of them (except incredible hulk) in 34 days. That’s kinda impressive, right?

ALSO THERE’S NO MORE SPOILER DANGER YAY !!!

and finally, here is my ranking of the movies based on how much I liked them:

0. The Incredible Hulk ( didn’t watch )

SPIDERMAN: HOMECOMING

Thor: Ragnarok

Captain America: Winter Soldier

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Iron Man 3

Avengers

Captain America: Civil War

Spiderman: Far From Home

Iron Man

Avengers: Infinity War

Thor

Avengers: Endgame

Iron Man 2

Thor: The Dark World

Captain Marvel

Black Panther

Captain America: The First Avenger

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Ant-Man

Guardians of the Galaxy

Doctor Strange

#i did it guys #aw man #i'm a little bit lost now tbh #like what do i do now #ooc #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #infinity saga

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howdoyousleep3 · 4 years

Note

OMG ok ok lets be real rn!!!! daddy!steve just noticing how bucky keeps secrets from him BUT in actual fact bucky hid the fact he got his nipples pierced from steve bc he was scared steve wouldnt like them!!! cue bucky being insecure asf but then steve has a few secrets of his own,,,,, tbvh i feel like steve would hide the fact he has a few tatts or piercings of his own just bc of his job but he aint shy however worried of how bucky would react to it OK THIS WAS WAYYYYYY TOO LONG BUT ILY!!

HI I have been thinking about this for so long now and I don’t have time to write out an entire fic (😥😥😥) but here are my random ass thoughts ( THIS IS SO LONG I AM SO SORRY):

I think this would all start out because Steve loves playing with Bucky’s nipples, loves how sensitive his sweet boy is, loves to pluck at them with his fingers, loves to use his teeth and his tongue and his lips

Has mentioned in the heat of the moment that “baby we should get these pierced” and Bucky just...can’t stop thinking about it

He can’t stop thinking about Daddy being the only other person to know this little dirty secret of his, that he got his nipples pierced all for Steve, all for Daddy

He can’t stop thinking about the possibilities, of how sensitive he would feel, just the simple brush of a t-shirt against the nubs making him whimper

So he does it one day

He goes with Nat and gets his fucking nipples pierced

Nat hypes him tf up and he knows Steve will love it but he’s so hesitant because he doesn’t have Steve’s permission, doesn’t like keeping things from Daddy

But it’s a surprise, right? A present for Daddy?

Right

It hurts like hell and Bucky thinks a lot about how much he liked how it hurt afterwards but he has these simple cute silver bars with little cute studs and honestly he...he thinks they look great

He’s a little achy and he’s trying to ignore how he’s chubbing up in his pants and he’s trying not to make little noises when his shirt presses and glides against his body

He lays on the couch until Steve comes home, tries to pay attention to the television, tries to not touch himself, tries to distract himself as he scrolls through social media

He’s in the kitchen when Daddy gets home, pulling some grapes out of the fridge, is trying his hardest to act like absolutely nothing is wrong, when Steve’s arms are wrapping tight around his waist, one across his chest, a typical Steve hug

But his forearm rubs hard against Bucky’s chest and therefore his nipples and he bites his lip in an attempt to not cry out but damn that hurt, that is overwhelming

Steve immediately notices something is wrong, makes a questioning soft noise, spins Buck in his arms, “Sugar, what’s wrong? Are you alright?”

Bucky is quick to recover, tries shaking his head and huffing out a few cheap giggles, avoiding eye contact, “Nothin’ nothin’, quit it”

Steve immediately knows something is amiss, squints his eyes a little bit, tilts Buck’s chin up with the back of is fingers, tries to look at the younger in the eyes and when he avoids it is confirmed--

“You’re not tellin’ me somethin’...”

He pushes Bucky back into the counter, arms caging him in, brings a hand up to clutch hard at Bucky’s chin, kisses his lips softly, forcing eye contact

“Babyyy, you hidin’ somethin’ from Daddy?”

And nonono that isn’t what Bucky is doing, it is meant as a treat, as something to surprise Daddy with

He doesn’t know why he thought he’d get more than a day without Steve noticing something is wrong, didn’t think through how they are intimate in some way every single day

“Daddy, no. No, I...I just wanted to surprise you.”

He sees Steve relax a bit, makes a small cooing noise, kisses him a few times again

“Oh? What’d my sweet boy get for his Daddy? I thought I was the one who is supposed to spoil you?”

Bucky huffs, giggles some when Steve nips and nuzzles at his neck, below his ear, grips his hips tight in both big hands, Bucky feeling himself melt a little like he always does in Daddy’s grip

When he starts to shyly bring his hands down to the hemline of his shirt, Steve looks at him curiously, his eyebrows raising as he steps back a little to watch Bucky’s hands, gives Bucky a little space

Bucky gets to right below his nipples, feels the fabric of the shirt drag against the pointed nubs, stalls a little and looks up at Daddy

Steve’s neck gets flushed, his eyes go dark at the dots connecting in his brain, and he takes over for Bucky, lifts his shirt up, cups it with both hands under his armpits

Steve is quiet for so long in Bucky’s mind, makes him so nervous but he can’t look away from Daddy’s face, can’t look away from the wide array of emotions that play out

Steve’s mouth is open, ready to ask questions, his hand comes up to barely brush a finger across his right nipple, touches the piercing, and Bucky wants to melt through the floor and squeal

“Ohh, sweetheart look at that” is all Steve says real hot and low, a growl of a breath, his fingers brushing and tracing across his chest, around his nipples

Bucky is breathless

“Wanted to...wanted to surprise you. Wanted to keep it a secret but didn’t like the idea...oh god...the idea of keeping something from you.”

Steve purrs, pushes his body in tight against Buckys, hands at his waist, lips at his neck, groans and presses his erection into Bucky’s hip some

“God, the prettiest thing there ever was, that’s what you are, holy shit, baby. Fuck, the things you do to me. So sweet too, not wanting to keep secrets, even with a surprise and a present like this.”

And then Steve is pulling back, tugging Bucky with him, walking him to their room and Bucky has absolutely no idea what is going on but he just wants to come now, is all keyed up as Steve pushes him to sit at the edge of the be

Steve walks over to the dresser, opens the top drawer, “Wanna show you somethin’” is all he says, grabs something, closes the drawer

He sits down next to Bucky and opens his closed fist and...

Is that...?

“Is that...? That’s a tongue piercing?”

Steve just nods and Bucky gapes at him, looks down to his mouth and back up to his eyes, back and forth

Bucky can’t think, can’t process. Steve has a tongue piercing? How has he never noticed before? He’s quite acquainted with Steve’s tongue. How had he missed it?

But then--oh GOD, Daddy has his tongue pierced

Steve chuckles, take the bar from his palm, unscrews a ball, opens his mouth, puts the piercing through his tongue, screws the ball back on, and--

“Holy shit, Steve.”

Bucky is hot all over, feels a little shaky with how aroused he is, moves forward to grab at Daddy’s jaw, Steve showing him the piercing, playing with it before chuckling again, grabbing at Bucky and yanking him up and around to sit in his lap

“Got it pierced when I was in college, got lucky and it never really closed up. Just wanted you to know since you said you didn’t like keepin’ things from me. Don’t wanna keep things from you either.”

Bucky barely hears what Steve is saying, is openly staring and gaping at Daddy’s mouth

As he talks this new shiny piercing peeks out, alters Steve’s speech a tad, and...and Bucky needs to touch it

With his mouth

He doesn’t even wait until Steve is done talking, just grips his face in both hands and dives in, immediately going for Daddy’s tongue. Steve expects it, stays still as Bucky moves slowly, stroking his tongue along Steve’s hesitantly, feels the cool bar with the tip of his tongue

Bucky makes a gutted noise, can’t help but roll his hips, dick about to burst out of his pants, and Daddy’s hands on are his back, pulling him in close, groaning alongside the younger

Bucky loves Daddy’s tongue piercing

Loves the way it feels on his lips and tongue, is weak for when Steve slides it in before sucking Bucky off, comes faster than normal when Daddy eats him out with it on

He isn’t even sure if it is the sensation or if it’s just how fucking hot Steve is with that slim piece of metal resting on his tongue

It only comes out every once in a while, when Bucky really wants it, begs Daddy for it

Steve knows it’s coming too because Bucky has spent the day staring at Steve’s mouth, every kiss shared is deep and Bucky chases his tongue, searching for that piercing

He’ll climb into Steve’s lap all whiny, maybe has the courage to because of a glass or two of red wine, tugging at Daddy’s shirt, pouting, asking Daddy to put it back in for him, wanna feel it

Steve will feign consideration, click his tongue and pull Bucky in tight, asking aloud if he think Bucky deserves it, if he’s been a good boy, his own finger coming up to rub at Bucky’s nipple, feeling his own little piercing

Daddy always gives Buck what he wants though

JESUS this was so much fun and ended up being so long I’m so sorry but I hope you enjoy!!! ILY. 😘😘😘

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binickmiller-archive · 3 years

Text

tagged by @benoitblanc (thank you arwen ily!!) to list my otps and notps! the notps are under the cut so read at your own risk ;)

tagging: @shadowsweavers @montagnetsalarie @rapunzels @fiirelords @bvckybvnes @rodgersteves + anyone else who wants to!! :)

otps

nick and jess from new girl: the classic will they won’t they ship that has everyone annoyed hahaha but seriously nick loved jess the moment he saw her and i really love the fact that they are best friends, they would do anything for each other and i love them so much

finn and poe from star wars: okay so Listen i have several points as to why they are in love but i will just narrow it down to the neck grab that happens in tros (ew) when they hug, we really have oscar and john to thank for this beautiful ship

even and isak from skam: as a lot of you know even is a comfort character to me and i just really love how this relationship was portrayed, it was done in a way that showed that relationships are about understanding what someone’s going through and being there to love and support them, i could go on and on about these two but i’ll stop so this post isn’t as long haha

some of my other fave otps include: david and patrick from schitt’s creek, steve and bucky but more importantly sam and bucky from the mcu, han and leia from star wars, alex and willie from jatp, jake and amy from b99, rue and lexi from euphoria, chidi and eleanor from the good place and monica and chandler from friends

now onto the notps which i will put under the cut!

rey and kylo ren from star wars: i don’t really need to explain myself here but just know i very much hate this ship so if you ship them you’re on the wrong blog

peggy and steve from the mcu: listen they were so cute in tfa but the whole endgame thing just makes me so angry for so many different reasons

some other ones which are huge nopes for obvious reasons are: luther and allison from the umbrella academy and tony and peter from the mcu (seriously if you ship them you are so gross and you don’t deserve rights), other than those few obvious ones i don’t really have any that are a serious no, i have a few that i don’t really get the hype over but other than that i think that’s pretty much my list!

#thanks for tagging me!#tag game #about me

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makeste · 4 years

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BnHA Chapter 254: Who the Hell Is Bucky

Previously on BnHA: All Might welcomed 1-A back after the new year with a pun he’s probably been working on for the entire winter break, the poor man. Aizawa received a call :’) and drove down to Tartarus with Mic to meet up with Naomasa and Gran Torino. Nao and Gran were all “so you’ll NEVER GUESS, but we found out that Kurogiri’s quirk is apparently a FAKE QUIRK which was created from a bunch of other quirks -- AND GUESS WHICH ONE WAS THE ORIGINAL QUIRK?” and Aizawa was all (ಠ ∩ಠ), and Mic put a hand on his shoulder, and Nao was all “YEAH YOU DID GUESS, IT’S YOUR OLD DEAD PAL SHIRAKUMO, FROM CHAPTERS 59 THROUGH 65 OF VIGILANTES!” And okay, so (1) OH MY GOD, and (2) I originally thought this meant that Kurogiri is straight up a zombie!Shirakumo, but others pointed out that he might be some random other dude who just has Kumo’s quirk, among others. And like, okay. SO WHAT IS THE TRUTH.

Today on BnHA: Y’ALL HE REALLY IS A ZOMBIE!KUMO, AND NAOMASA AND GRAN BROUGHT AIZAWA AND MIC TO TALK TO HIM AND TRY TO RESTORE HIS MEMORIES SOMEHOW. Aizawa is all “this isn’t some fantasy world with happy endings, this is THE REAL WORLD WHERE MIRACLES DON’T HAPPEN!” but Gran is all “sometimes they do!” and Aizawa is like “!!” and so they sit down to chat with Kumo. Aizawa launches into a passionate speech about how great Kumo was and how he pulled him along and inspired him, and how he (Aizawa) is strict with his students now and -- get this -- FAKE-EXPELS THEM IN ORDER TO PUT THE FEAR OF GOD INTO THEM JUST ONCE LMAO, BUT IT’S BECAUSE HE CARES, and because he wants them to be great heroes and not hapless redshirts who get killed offscreen. And by the end of it he’s crying and imploring Shirakumo -- “if you’re still in there somewhere” -- to become heroes with him and Mic just like they always wanted. All of it is exactly as emotionally devastating as you would figure, btw.

you guys I have been playing hopscotch on my dash since yesterday trying to avoid spoilers about the popularity poll until I actually had time to write down my reactions! all I know is that of course Bakugou is #1 again, because this fandom always comes through lol. my other predictions are that the rest of the trio will receive lots of love again as well, and Hawks will once again be high on the list, and Aizawa too because of the Vigilantes flashbacks (at least HE BETTER), and probably the villains will get a big boost as well after their arc, Tomura in particular. and Endeavor might break the top 10 again too with the newest arc, although I can’t quite remember whether or not the poll was still going on by the time that started (ETA: actually I don’t think it was). but yeah. anyway so there’s a real possibility that most of the kids will actually be shut out of the top ranks because of these GROWN-UPS and VILLAINS stealing all their glory, smh. your time will come, kids

“more than anyone, you were a hero” oh is this chapter going to play with my feelings yet again. is this just going to happen every fucking week now. okay

HELL YEAH MY BOYS ON THE COVER

@unboundednamelessfuture, to answer your ask about whether I’m planning on watching Heroes Rising, the answer is a resounding YES, POSSIBLY EVEN MULTIPLE TIMES IN THEATERS IF I CAN SWING IT, because I’m pretty sure it’s actually just going to be All My Dreams Come True: The Movie. and yes I have seen some spoilers for it, although I’m not clear on whether or not they’re actual spoilers or just rumors. so because of that I won’t post my thoughts just yet, except to say that if it is true, see above re: All My Dreams Come True: The Movie, and also add a bunch more exclamation points at the end of the title omfg

anyway so my sons are famous now. they’re in Hollywood. good for them

AND NOW THE POLLLLLLLL YES

oh shit, I heard about “Deku & Bakugou Rising”, but is that out this week?? shit I’ll have to do a separate post if that’s the case. I’m assuming it’s more of a bonus chapter than an actual spinoff, kind of like the All Might chapter we got for the last movie. either way, to say I’m hyped would be a massive understatement, needless to say

(ETA: okay so I’ve seen Korean scanlations of this -- which I didn’t look at closely because spoilers -- but no English scans yet. so stay tuned!)

so I was wrong about the kids being shooed out of the top 10! I have never been so pleased to be wrong! so we have Kacchan at #1 (I love his face so much. ghlkhf), Deku at #2 (he beat Shouto this year! good for you!!), Shouto at #3 (wouldn’t be surprised if he and Deku were neck and neck again though), Kirishima at #4 (we stan one bright ray of sunshine), Iida at #5 (YOU DESERVE IT SO MUCH SWEETHEART. I’M SO GLAD FANDOM ISN’T SLEEPING ON THE ACTUAL BEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES), Tomura at #6 (DID YOU NOT GET THE MEMO ABOUT WEARING A NUMBER ON YOUR OUTFIT? MAKING ME FIGURE IT OUT FROM THE PROCESS OF ELIMINATION IS A REAL BASTARD MOVE. THEY SHOULD HAVE PUT YOU AT #8 TO MATCH YOUR CURRENT NUMBER OF FINGERS YOU STUPID SEXY JERK), Aizawa at #7 (THANK YOU FANDOM, YOU’VE REDEEMED YOURSELVES FROM LAST YEAR), Ochako at #8 (I LOVE YOUUUU), Toga at #9 (LADIES!!!!!!), and Momo at #10 (YES GIRRRRRL)

I think this is the strongest showing of ladies yet in the top ten (ETA: actually no, the second poll was slightly better) and I’m all about it. also can they all please keep these costume upgrades because YES. I don’t care if Horikoshi would get sick of drawing them. THAT’S WHAT ASSISTANTS ARE FOR. KATSUKI HAS A FUCKING BULLET BANDOLIER, COME ON, YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS JUST A ONE TIME THING YOU ASSCLOWNS, THIS IS FOR THE PEOPLE

lol here’s the abridged version of the Shirakumo flashbacks, I guess. everyone was saying last week how Vigilantes was now required reading, and like, I get that everyone’s excited about the crossover, but they still have to make this comprehensible for people who only read the main series. I’m guessing we’ll get the short version here, but Vigilantes gets to provide the more in-depth story for people who want to know more about everything, which is more or less what Vigilantes’s role has been in general

anyway so here’s Kumo doing his usual Naruto impression and cheerfully dooming himself by being ceaselessly optimistic and tempting fate’s sense of irony

you sure can! just so long as that crisis doesn’t involve big, heavy rocks, or gravity. I’m sorry kiddo

“‘let’s all form an agency together.’ it happened just after he said those words.” well there you have it, the BnHA equivalent of “one week left till my retirement.” hero training should really include a mandatory course titled Death Flags: The Silent Killers. there are children’s lives at stake here

lol yeah this really is abridged

“once upon a time we all wanted to be heroes and then Shirakumo got crushed by some rocks the end.” yeah, so maybe not quite the full emotional impact of the original lol

OH SHIT SON

so it is his reanimated corpse, then! which means the potential for him somehow dramatically regaining his memories is very high. since this is a shounen manga, I’m gonna go ahead and put it at... 100%. is that too low

guys I don’t know what to do when Present Mic is making faces like this

when even the Comic Relief Guy is getting all traumatized and serious, you know it’s bad. sob who will I turn to now for comfort. Horikoshi’s really just gonna go full dark no stars here and leave me just stumbling around lost

OH IF IT ISN’T THE ORIGINAL PIECE OF SHIT HIMSELF!!

yeah it makes perfect sense actually, you bastard. you steal the bodies from the crematorium and then give the families fake ashes or something. holy shit you really will not stop until you find the lowest possible level to stoop to, and then grab a fucking shovel and start digging so as to GO DOWN EVEN LOWER. just. god everything about this is just so wrong

oh btw, now seems like a good time to bring up this ask I got last week!

anon you blew my mind, just so you know. you’re absolutely right. so that’s one mystery down! though the way that this is going, I’m not so sure I’m gonna like any of the other answers that the Noumu arc is gonna provide us sob

holy shit look at this fucking simile

dead children = leftovers. sure why not. just in case we all forgot how evil he is

and also, YEAH BUDDY THAT’S WHAT I JUST FUCKING SAID, PLEASE KEEP UP. and who even knows how many other times AFO has done this. I hope they’ve started investigating crematoriums, then. I’m just waiting for them to make some connection that leads to them finally finding out about Ujiko, but that might take a while still

(ETA: although if they actually can get Kumo to talk...)

and did he really just solemnly call Mic “DJ” because omfg. Gran, are you the comic relief. do you even know. are you even aware

oh hey look another dagger to my heart

ouch. that was cold. and... not necessarily true, though, is it? because he was kind enough to Tomura. idk, I know my villain mom has done some horrible things, but you’ll be hard pressed to get me to think of him as all bad, even so. he was the one keeping Tomura from going FULLASS MURDER MODE!! for a long time

HEY WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF COP-OUT IS THIS

well then WHY DID YOU EVEN BRING THEM IN HERE! DID THEY NOT SEEM TRAUMATIZED ENOUGH TO YOU?? “well idk they seem pretty shaken up already, but just to make sure they grasp the full repugnant horror of the situation why don’t we make them visit him face to face.” OKAY THEN YOU SADISTS

son of a bitch and speaking of twisting the knife, Horikoshi keeps showing us these increasingly wrecked glimpses of Aizawa lowkey falling apart and I can’t

at this point the shadows under his eyes have their own shadows. and god dude, I know you’re rational, but it’s really hard to watch you just outright dismiss any and all possibilities of hope just like that :(

what the fuck Gran

so you really are the one in this scene who’s trying to lift everyone’s spirits now. well all right then, just what are you alluding to

OH SNAP

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD NOUMU BACKSTORY AT LAST! jesus christ, do Nao and Gran just know everything already, and they’ve just been keeping it all to themselves for the hell of it?? how long before they casually swing by U.A. and are all “oh and by the way, the traitor is...”

ANOTHER AIZAWA FACE BUT THIS ONE IS SOFT OH GOD!!

HEY WHAT’S UP I’M GONNA CRY. SOMEONE TURN ON SOME SAD MUSIC. AND I WON’T GO, AND I WON’T SLEEP, AND I CAN’T BREATHE, UNTIL YOU’RE RESTING HERE WITH ME

AND I WON’T LEAVE, I CAN’T HIDE, I CANNOT BEEEEEEEE

hey Nao. you know what really would have helped with getting him to talk. NOT KNOCKING HIM UNCONSCIOUS. ??? move over do you need someone else to do your job for you or

-- OH THEY’RE TALKING TO HIM NOW LMAO OKAY

“go ahead and do your thing guys. don’t be afraid to make it real gay”

this would be even more dramatic if Kurogiri actually had a face. but even so... OH I AM WHAT I AM. I’LL DO WHAT I WANT. BUT IIIIIIII CAN’T HIIIIDE

oh my fucking god Aizawa is all “but what about his family?” and Naomasa is literally “if you two are unsuccessful, then...” like straight up acknowledging that the three of them were so fucking gay in high school that their odds of getting through to Kumogiri are stronger than that of his OWN FUCKING FAMILY. wow

chin up my sexy man. you got this

OH SHIT AHHHHHHH

LDSKFHL EASY THERE CHAMP, THAT’S TOO MUCH SEX TO BE CONTAINED IN A SINGLE PANEL, PLEASE TRY AND DO ME A FAVOR AND FUCKING HOLD IT TOGETHER HERE FOR THE KIDS WHO ARE READING THIS!! [frantically googles ‘can a shounen manga get you pregnant’]

so Aizawa is all “I’ll be damned if I let his family hear this sickening story” and like, I’m sure he means that in a “they don’t deserve that pain” kind of noble and principled way, but if it were my child I sure would want to know regardless. and aren’t they going to find out either way?? either you do get through to him, in which case obviously you would want the family to know “HEY, GOOD NEWS!”, or you don’t manage it and Nao has to call them anyway as we just established. but you go ahead and get all fired up then, Shouta

now there’s a panel of him staring at Kumo and Kumo is just a big shapeless blob of black smoke just sitting there lol. don’t tell me he’s still unconscious?!

thank you

anyway so Aizawa, did you know that while you were off being an underground hero, Kumo was studying at Oxford to get his medical degree while bartending on nights and weekends to make ends meet. the two of you have so much to catch up about

Mic’s thinking that even with Aizawa using his quirk, the fog isn’t dissipating, so it means Kumo’s body is now made up of fog. well but then what about the metal neck thingy! huh??

and Mic’s opening his big mouth to complain that Kurogiri is far too polite and classically educated to really be their old pal, but before he can finish, Kumo is interrupting to ask about his son!!

he’s. uh. I guess you could call it “well”? maybe a little too well [marge simpson noises]

well Mic is clearly back to being the comic relief here. but Aizawa is keenly spotting those mom instincts that have remained in Kumo to this day!

yes Aizawa the core of your friend is still in there deep down!

OH MY GOD

LMAOOOO. “EMO PUNK... WHERE HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE -- !!” [AUDIBLY GASPS AND LOOKS DIRECTLY AT AIZAWA]

oh my lord. like, I don’t think this is actually meant to be funny, but just the fact that he immediately associates “emo” with AIZAWA FUCKING SHOUTA so strongly that it makes him go (•̪ o •̪) all knowingly has me fucking deceased right now good grief

so Kumo says he doesn’t resent his mission at all. some people like looking after emo punks, Mic. you should know

AND NOW MY FEELINGS ARE BEING TOYED WITH AGAIN!! JUST STRAIGHT UP OUT IN THE OPEN!! THIS ISN’T FAIR

heh. don’t mind me I’m just looking for some sort of emotional support to cling to here for my breakdown that’s about to happen about 0.2 seconds after Aizawa starts crying, if he indeed starts to cry. which it looks like he might. oh god I’m not ready for this at all. my hatches are not even remotely battened; my shutters are just gonna go flying right the fuck off

by the way what the fuck is up with the chairs at Tartarus. why do they look like swiss cheese

hmm, Nao and Torino are all “no reaction”, but to me it looks like there clearly is a reaction, though? he can’t even look Aizawa in the eye all of a sudden. it’s clearly getting to him. Nao seriously, do you need someone else to do your job

oh Aizawa

(ETA: Kumo really first-named Aizawa two seconds after meeting him. this man knows how to adopt his introverts.)

okay but Present Mic in a summer uniform is the most punchable version yet, SORRY I JUST HAD TO SAY IT I’M SORRY MIC I LOVE YOU. it was just gonna come bursting up out of me if I didn’t

anyway so Aizawa is gaying it up just as promised

him using his quirk is definitely making the scene more intense, but I’m not really sure why he actually is using it, since we’ve established it’s not having any effect. unless he’s trying to possibly undo some of the brainwashing somehow??

(ETA: so it occurred to me that just because his quirk isn’t dissolving Kumo’s mist body doesn’t mean that it’s not having an effect on his warp abilities. this way they can interrogate him without fear of him trying to use it and them having to knock him out again.)

so Kumo’s continuing to try and play it off all smooth while Aizawa unleashes the full force of fifteen years of pent up grief and trauma!

starting to think Aizawa never did go to therapy after that whole thing. typical U.A. “so you saw your best friend die suddenly and violently right before your eyes and subsequently suppressed it and hallucinated his voice talking to you to avoid facing that reality, huh? eh, you’ll be fine”

oh no a close-up of Aizawa that doesn’t show his face completely. this kind of thing never ends well

BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT THEM TO END UP LIKE YOU [sobs forever]

wait are we really going to talk about this?? omg

wait what. so do you mean to tell me he expelled them but then continued to guide them afterwards so they would have long, happy and healthy careers but more importantly would be safe omfg I’m not fucking ready for this shit

we’re cutting to U.A.’s class 2-A! Aizawa’s former class? does that mean he literally expelled EVERY SINGLE ONE of his students last year omg

so then. does every single standout characteristic of the Aizawa we know and love stem from his tragic past and his relationship with this boy then, or what? meanwhile the feelings continue to torrentially lash against my house while I huddle in the basement

I can’t fucking believe we’re actually getting a legit reveal about the “Aizawa expels all his students” gag holy shit

re-enroll!? what?? and “expel” in quotation marks?!?

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS -- HE DID IT JUST TO SCARE THEM!? AND THEN WHAT, WERE THEY PICKED UP AFTERWARD BY THE OTHER HERO CLASSES INSTEAD? SO HE TEACHES THEM A POTENTIALLY LIFE-SAVING LESSON AND THEN GETS TO LAZE AROUND THE REST OF THE YEAR, LOL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. THIS MAN IS A GENIUS

(ETA: and by this logic, Deku really ought to have been expelled half a dozen times by now. don’t ever try and tell me that this man doesn’t play favorites.)

so Aizawa is taking his goggles off and saying that he’s strict with his students because he wants them to live long, fulfilling lives

OH NO

SOMEHOW HORIKOSHI MADE KURO’S FACE LOOK SOFT?! I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW, IS THERE ANYTHING HE CAN’T DO

AHHHHH

OH NO HE DID IT AHHHH THE TEARS, FUCK. WELL MY HOUSE IS FUCKING DESTROYED, I’M CLIMBING UP TO THE ROOF TO AWAIT RESCUE

wow. anyways that really did get gay as fuck at the end, didn’t it. given the meaning that those goggles have to Aizawa, can this be taken as a form of marriage proposal? no? well I’m taking it that way anyway, so. congratulations you two. I’m off to go sob into a pillow now

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clintbartonswife · 5 years

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Blindsided pt2

Pairings: Steve x reader Summary: Steve went after Peggy, leaving you alone with no explanation. Deciding it wasn't good enough, you followed him Warning: angst, swearing, mentions of past sex part one || masterlist || part three

“Y/N, no!”

Bright light engulfed you as the familiar feeling of travelling through the quantum realm washed over you, abruptly ending and spewing you out on rough tarmac.

Scrambling to your feet, you took in your surroundings, wondering why on earth Steve would’ve come here. A quick look at your time-travel-watch-thing tells you its 1951, six years after the plane crash.

You eventually spot him hyping himself up in an alley, his eyes set on a house.

Peggy’s.

You spot her through the window, reading through a file at her kitchen counter, hair perfectly curled and lips bright red.

Cursing under your breath, you approach him with determined steps, fists clenching as you attempt to control your temper.

“What the actual fuck Rogers”

His eyes widened, stumbling back slightly as he took in your figure, words dying on his tongue.

“You just leave after seven fucking years? Without a word? What is wrong with you” you growled, pushing his chest angrily, “You made me promise not to leave you - was that some sort of fucking joke?”

“No, I-”

“Lets forget about me for a second, which should be easy for you considering what you’ve just done, but she gets married, has kids. You made out with her niece for Christ sake! You cant take that away from her, it’s wrong”

“You don’t understand, she’s everything to me”

You scoffed, crossing your arms as you resist the urge to roll your eyes.

“Everything? So all those times you said you loved me, all those times you held me - fucked me - that was nothing?”

“Well, no, but its not the same-”

“You kissed her once. Once in your whole goddamn life. You’ve built up this, this image in your head of how you want to remember her. She’s not this perfect specimen Steve, she’s not. No matter how many times you try and convince yourself of that”

Your voice raised slightly as you got progressively more frustrated, disbelief still lurking in the back of your mind.

“What about Bucky - how are you going to live knowing he’s being tortured right now? Being ripped apart by the very people you swore to fight against?”

“I cant change the future”

“And this isn't? You fought against the fucking government for him, against Tony, you risked everything and now you’re going to stand there and tell me that you’re okay with letting him get tortured because you cant change the future?”

Steve shuffled uncomfortably on the spot, a scowl appearing on his face as he mumbled that it was the right thing to do. You quickly switched tactics.

“You’re not the same man she knows Steve. You’re not that innocent boy from Brooklyn anymore. You’re tainted, changed. She’ll see that, we both know she’s not stupid”

“She loves me”

“She’s grieved you for 6 years. She loved you. This isn’t the same as the fantasy in your head Rogers, she won’t just fall into your arms”

“You don't know that” he shouted, his anger finally bursting through his calm façade, “You never met her! She loves me!”

You watched as his fists clenched, his lips curled into a menacing snarl. You had never seen him direct such anger towards you, the worst argument you had ever had only reach mild shouting before turning into rough sex.

The realisation that you had lost him finally set in, the man in front of you was not the same man you had come to love. Tears welled in your eyes, taking a deep breath as you made a silent promise not to cry. He didn't deserve your tears.

“Go ahead Steve, you walk in there and destroy her life” you scoffed, wiping away the few tears that had escaped, “I just hope you can carry that”

“I’m sorry it had to be like this-“

He moved closer to you, moving to rest a hand on your shoulder, blinking in slight shock as you reared away from him.

“Just fuck off, you’re not even close to sorry. Not yet. But you will be”

You stormed away without another word, ignoring his confused stammering behind you as you moved back to your vantage point.

You watched with narrow eyes as he knocked on the door only a few minutes later, quickly swept up into Peggy’s tearful embrace.

It wouldn’t last though, you’d make sure of that.

You just had to wait for Peggy to leave. Then you could talk some sense into her, if she hadn’t come to her own conclusions already.

________________________________________________________________

Tags:

@stella2445 @savemesteeb @neglectedleo @bella-imperfecta-luna @asgardiangurll @witch-of-letters @cheeseburgersstuff @vesta-ro

#steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #angst #angsty fic #endgame #avengers endgame #x reader #avenger!reader #peggy carter #time travel #series #steve rogers angst #steve rogers fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel angst

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marvel-lucy · 4 years

Text

The Ultimate Weapon, chapter 17

After Loki left the medlab, I made a decision, I had to leave. I wasn’t wanted here, the noise in my head made that clear. The lab was empty and quiet as I walked out and headed for the elevator. Down and into my room, I got dressed quickly, grabbed some money and a few clothes in a bag, and prepared to leave. I paused in the doorway, then quickly took out my knife, and gritting my teeth against the pain, cut out the two trackers that Tony had installed in me – in all of us. One in my arm, one in my hip, I dug them out and dropped them on the floor, then left. I had no great plan and my mind no longer felt in my control but I believed everything that I could hear in my head.

I took the elevator down to street level and walked out. First rule of going on the run: run, don’t walk. I knew there were security cameras at the entrances to Stark Tower, and all over the local streets, so I kept my head down. I had limited time before they realised I was gone, so I needed to get out of the reach of CCTV. Not that I expected anyone to come after me, I was sure they’d be glad I was out of their hair, but I was used to thinking like a soldier and that meant getting out of sight.

We were in a commercial district, with high-end shops, street cameras, traffic cameras and dashboard cams on cars. I dodged down alleyways and used fire escapes to go up and over buildings, trying to show up as little as possible. Down one side alley I stopped, put a cap on, and pulled a different coloured hoodie out of my bag. It wasn’t much as disguises go but anyone looking for a green shirt and brown hair would need to pay a little more attention now I had a red cap and black top.

I continued like this for hours, slowly making my way out towards the residential areas where I hoped to find fewer cameras. I had no real destination in mind but something was drawing me out of the city to the north, I could feel a pull in that direction.

By the time night fell, I was out of the city but the area all around was built up and it was hard to stay out of sight. I kept off the main roads, not wanting to risk being picked up, and skirted through parks and backyards where I could, keeping my head down on the streets where I couldn’t. I was still being pulled north and my thoughts were still in a cycle of self-hatred, reminding me that I was a monster, that I was unwanted, unneeded, that I needed to get far away. All the old fears and anxieties that I’d started to overcome had welled up again and I was running from my thoughts as much as from the people I so desperately wanted to call my friends.

I’d long since lost track of time. When it was light, I tried to find somewhere to lay low, although I barely slept. When it got dark, I set off again, heading north. I ate what I could find – fruit, stolen food. One night I fell ill from eating something I’d found behind a restaurant which had obviously gone off. I rolled myself under a thorn bush, ignoring the scratches in the hope that I wouldn’t be found, and lay foetal, sweating and vomiting, watching the sun come up and go back down again before I felt able to continue. I avoided stores, although I had money, aware that they all had security cameras and also that I probably didn’t look that respectable anymore, and I didn’t want to draw the attention of the police.

And still, I kept walking.

It had been about an hour after Ruby left the building before anyone realised. Bruce had gone up to the medlab to check on her and keep her company, to find the bed empty. Assuming that she’d checked herself out and gone down to her room, he asked Jarvis for confirmation, pleased that she’d got up and made a decision for herself.

There was a pause before Jarvis responded. ‘I am reading Miss Ruby’s trackers in her room, but not the presence of any people there’. The AI even sounded concerned, which was a new thing. Bruce frowned, and asked Jarvis to call Tony, then headed to the elevator and down to the rooms. Tony and Natasha had been together in the kitchen when Jarvis’s call came in, so both headed down as well, meeting up with Bruce as he approached the bedroom. Jarvis unlocked the door and they walked in. Bruce checked the bathroom, but as he did so, Natasha picked something up from the floor.

“Guys, I think we have a problem”, she said, holding up the two trackers, still covered in small pieces of flesh. Bruce and Tony looked at each other and quickly, all three were heading for the control centre.

“Jarvis, alert the rest of the team to meet us there and start scanning for Ruby. And check on security cams, is she still in the building?”

Within minutes, Bucky, Clint and Sam had joined the others in the control centre where Natasha showed them what they’d found. Jarvis reported back as they gathered.

‘I have found footage of Ruby leaving Stark Tower approximately 80 minutes ago. There was no curfew in place so it did not trigger any action either from myself or from security staff.’ An image of Ruby leaving the building, carrying a small bag, came up on screen. The quality was good enough to see a fresh cut on the arm where the tracker had been. Steve looked over at Bucky who was standing and staring at the screen, holding so tightly to the back of a chair that his knuckles turned white.

Tony took control. “OK, Jarvis, link up with all the security cameras around here, find a trace of her. We can’t act until we know where she might have gone. Or why. Anyone have any clue what’s caused this?” Tony looked at Bucky, who he knew was closest to Ruby, but Bucky wasn’t engaging, focussed on the image on the screen. Sam spoke up.

“Been a while since we talked – before the mission – and I’m not going to give too much detail of what we discussed, but I’d say her actions on the mission just triggered something. Maybe fear of hurting people she cared about, maybe feeling that she didn’t deserve to be here? It’s something strong, because she’s just walked out without any sign of the agoraphobia that’s kept her trapped.”

Everyone felt powerless. Until they had a lead, there was nothing to do. Suddenly Bucky let out a pained yell through gritted teeth, and the chair back broke under his grip.

“I can’t just stay here; I’m going out to start looking. Tell me if you find anything but I need to do something”. He left the building and Steve followed shortly after, to keep his friend under control. Tony nodded and then turned back to the screen.

Jarvis had logged into as many street cameras as he could, and been able to pick up traces of Ruby. They mapped out a general course, picking her up on occasion streets away from where she’d last been seen, but each trace was long over an hour cold by now and they knew she had the skills to disappear. Tony called up Steve.

“She’s heading north. Or was when last seen. We’ve got traces of her as far as the Bronx, then she’s gone. Doesn’t seem to be using any public transit, might have changed clothes. Don’t think she knows anyone out there does she?”

Tony could hear Steve and Bucky talking but as far as anyone knew, Ruby had no contacts anywhere in the city, or in the country. In fact, she had no-one but the Avengers, so where was she heading? Steve and Bucky headed back to the Tower to collect a car and start looking further north, but without more recent images, everyone knew it was a futile act, one designed just to feel as if something was happening.

Eventually, even Steve and Bucky returned to the Tower. They’d traced every street and headed way out to the city limits but there was no chance of finding anything. Nat and Clint had spoken to their contacts who were keeping their eyes open but with a stealth soldier, she’d be on the lookout for watchers.

Over the next week, the mood in the Tower was grim. Throughout the days, the team would ask for updates from Jarvis, knowing that if he’d found anything they’d be told, but unable to sit and wait. A chance image from a street camera brought some hope after six days, from a small town on the edge of Connecticut. Ruby had changed clothes, so at least they knew what they were looking for now. The image wasn’t clear but she looked haunted and gaunt.

Tracing a path from Stark Tower to her last sighting, they tried to guess where she’d be heading next. Although she was still going north, she was obviously keeping off the main routes, but at least it was a lead. Within half an hour, the team were in Connecticut and searching. Nothing. Two days later, they all returned to the Tower and to waiting.

They all met in the control room again, sitting around the table and hyped up on lack of sleep, caffeine and worry. They could stare at maps all they wanted, they didn’t know where you were going and Ruby was too good at staying off the grid.

“We need to go back to the start” Steve said. “We reacted to this all wrong, rushing out and not thinking things through. We’ve let emotions get too involved, this isn’t what we do. Trying to work out where she is is getting us nowhere, let’s go back to basics and see what’s triggered this.” There was a slight shuffling. This was what they were all trained to do, but somehow the urge to DO had overtaken the urge to think and they had acted impetuously.

“What do we know?” They talked back through the days before she’d run. Progress with Sam, a sense of breakthrough – maybe that had been too overwhelming? Then the mission, seeing Rumlow, saving the team. None of it made sense.

“She was doing great” Sam said. “There was real trust coming out. And she saved you, why would she need to run after that?” Then Tony looked up.

“Jarvis, do we have any details of who she spoke to after the mission?” The voice from the AI came through: ‘as you know Sir, I do not record in the medlab for confidentiality reasons, however I can confirm that the last people to visit were Sgt Barnes, and then Loki.’ An image appeared onscreen of Loki entering the medlab, and then another, timestamped about ten minutes later, leaving. As the screen showed him shutting the door of the lab, a smirk appeared on his face.

“SHIT, how did we miss this?” Tony was furious with himself. “How did we not think of that bastard. What did he say to her? Screw confidentiality, we need cameras everywhere. We need him down here.” Thor and Loki had left a few days after Ruby had gone missing, not wanting to intrude, but with Loki unwelcome in Asgard, there was a possibility that they were still on earth. Natasha was instantly on the phone to Jane Foster, waking her up in England in the middle of the night uncaring.

“Jane, it’s Natasha Romanov, we need Thor, do you know where he is?”

“Um, what? Hi Natasha, it’s like 4am, did you know that? Um, yeah, I know where Thor is, hang on.” Seconds later, over the rustling of sheets, Thor’s voice boomed out of the phone, but Nat cut him off.

“Thor. You need to get to Stark Tower. Now. And bring your brother, wherever that little shit might be.” She hung up. There was an atmosphere of angry tension in the room and a sense of threat. Steve, trying to retain control, realised that if this spilt over into violence – all too easy with the mood of the team – they’d get nowhere.

“We can’t all question him. He’d enjoy it too much. I’ll speak to him, OK. You watch.” But Bucky refused, telling Steve he’d break his arm if he tried to stop him from questioning Loki. “Fine, you can be there, but rein it in. We don’t know if he’s done anything yet, and if he has, we need him conscious so you can’t just beat it out of him.”

It didn’t take long for Thor and Loki to arrive, landing on the roof and announced by Jarvis, they were met at the elevator by Steve and Bucky. Thor looked confused and Loki looked amused by the urgency with which they’d been summoned. Despite Steve’s best efforts, as soon as they stepped out of the elevator, Bucky had grabbed Loki around the neck and thrust him back against the wall.

“What the hell did you say to her?” he growled, but Thor grabbed his other arm and pulled him off Loki, demanding an explanation for this assault on his brother. For a moment it looked as if Thor and Bucky would fight until Steve’s voice boomed over the top.

“Enough. Guys. Calm it down, let us explain. Thor, Ruby has gone missing. It’s been over a week now. We can’t find her. We know that the last person to speak to her, just minutes before she left, was Loki. We just want to know if he can help shed any light on things.” Bucky was standing, scowling, over Loki who still looked amused by the anger in the air. Only Steve saw the way Thor closed his eyes tight for a second before turning to his brother.

“Loki, brother, what have you done? Why must you always bring your mischief to bear on every world?” It seemed Thor had no doubt that his brother had caused trouble.

“I merely spoke to her brother!” Loki protested, then continued, his eyes gleaming with pleasure. “I could sense that she felt… unworthy… to be part of this company, having shown her true side during your mission. If she then decided that it was best for her to leave, well, that cannot be on my head.” There was obviously more though, Loki was enjoying tormenting everyone too much and Bucky was ready to kill, but Thor put up a hand to stop him moving forward, and spoke quietly.

“Let me deal with my brother. I will find whatever information I can for you. Do you have somewhere we can go?” There was a pause, Bucky still obviously wanting to hurt Loki, but then Steve nodded and showed them into the kitchen, an incongruous setting for the two Gods to talk. Bucky and Steve waited outside in the corridor, Steve pacing up and down, Bucky leaning back against the wall, arms crossed and looking tense. There was no sound from inside the kitchen at first, then after a few moments, raised voices could be heard. Steve stopped pacing and both listened.

“Why do you care so for these worthless Midgardians brother? They are as nothing to us! Their lives are small and mean and paltry,” Loki spat the words out. “Yes, I used the girl. I crept into her mind and encouraged her to leave.” Steve had to grab at Bucky’s arm to stop him crashing into the room, as Loki continued. “Hydra have the tesseract, I want it. It should be mine, not left in the charge of some worthless humans. They wanted the girl back, she was the most powerful of all these pitiful creatures, and they had lost her. So because of me, she is now on her way back to them, although she doesn’t know it. She already felt that she wasn’t worthy of being here, that these people couldn’t want a monster like her. I simply crept into her feeble mind and encouraged that thought, and then gave her a push towards Hydra. She is almost there now, I am still inside her mind and I can feel she is close to the base. Once Hydra have her, I will have the tesseract. I care not for these worms on Earth and you demean yourself with your love for them.”

Loki’s voice was deadly, angry and full of hate but had carried clearly through the walls. Steve knew the others must be watching in the control room too. He looked at Bucky in fear, both wondering if they were too late, and then it was too much for Bucky. He threw open the door and flew into the room, to where Thor had Loki pinned down in a chair, then with a scream of anger, he punched Loki hard in the face, throwing him backwards off the chair and onto the floor, instantly unconscious.

---

Suddenly, like a light being turned on, my brain cleared. The whispering voice in my head had gone and the only thoughts left were my own. I had no idea how long I had been on the run, or where I was. Time seemed to both have rushed by and stood still, and I had only flashes of memories of the last days: stealing food from a shop, clothes from a line. Running along roads and hiding in woods, all the time with my mind feeling buried under the unrelenting force of someone else’s power. I had heard their whispers in my head for so long now that I had started to wonder if I was insane, but had believed the voices when they told me to run; that I wasn’t wanted or needed by the Avengers; that they would be better off without me. Now, a moment of clarity and I realised that these thoughts were from outside me. I wanted to go home. Maybe the Avengers wouldn’t want me after this. But I had to find out.

I was afraid I wouldn’t have long before whoever it was realised I was starting to think my own thoughts again, so as fast as I could without drawing attention to myself, I walked to the nearest mall and bought a cheap phone. I guessed from the strange looks in the shop that I was none too clean and respectable looking. They were happy enough to take my money though, and I left as quickly and quietly as I had come in.

Finding a spot in the mall where I could stand, part hidden by a large fake palm tree, and with my back to a wall, I rang the one number I could remember, where I knew I’d get straight answers. I knew I couldn’t ring Stark, or Steve… or Bucky. I was afraid they’d come at me with questions, accusations, guilt; that they’d lie to me and say I was welcome, or that they’d tell me the truth and say that I was not. There wasn’t time, I felt sweat on my back with fear of going under again. So, I rang Stark Tower and asked to speak to Jarvis.

His voice came on the line instantly and the familiarity hit me in the gut, making me slide down to the floor with my back to the wall. As fast as I could get the words out – unfamiliar with speaking after time alone – I explained what I thought had happened. Someone had forced their way into my mind; I didn’t know where I was; I was afraid they were going to come and find me, afraid it was Hydra. Then, almost not daring to say it, I had to ask. ‘Would the team want me back?’ The answer was almost instantaneous, but even so those milliseconds felt like forever, before Jarvis spoke: ‘I have already informed the team of your message and they are on their way to the quinjet now to come and find you’. I breathed out fast, unaware I’d been holding my breath. Jarvis told me to stay where I was, and that they knew Hydra were close, but I knew I couldn’t stay still. As fast as the quinjet was, Hydra would be coming for me too, and it would be a race against time to see who found me first. A memory flashed into my head, of cutting my own trackers out of my flesh before I fled the tower. I had to move, and keep moving, and hope that my friends could find me before my enemies.

I skirted the mall, staying close to the wall and eyes out. I was weak – when had I last eaten? – and as my brain become clearer, started to become aware of my physical state. I had bruises and torn muscles, healing cuts that I didn’t remember getting. I wasn’t in any condition to fight my way out, so I was going to have to stay under the radar. Everyone walking past felt like a potential Hydra agent, about to grab me, I had to leave. I saw an exit marked for the car park, and fled through it and down the stairs. Waiting on the floor below, I paused to see if I had been followed through the door, but all was quiet. I continued down to the car park, darker and quieter than the bustling mall, easier to spot any approaches. I became aware of voices in my head again and shook at the thought of losing myself. I couldn’t tell anymore which thoughts were my own and which were the whispering voices, urgent and forceful, that had told me I was unwanted, damaged goods, and that only Hydra could make things OK for me. I shook my head, but the voices continued – I didn’t know that back in Stark Tower, Loki had come around and was trying to regain control, to find out where I was and direct me to Hydra.

I could feel my anxiety levels rising. Maybe the Avengers weren’t coming for me. Maybe they wanted to put me down as a threat. I had to hide. From everyone. Running now with no thought for the startled faces I pushed past, I made for the street level and ran on through the city. I saw a sign – Pittsfield, Massachusetts – well over 100 miles from New York. Had I walked all that way? But the moment of clarity passed and again all I knew was the urge to hide. Although weakened, I was still faster and had greater stamina than most people, and ran continuously, out of the glossy central areas and into a more rundown neighbourhood. By now evening was drawing in and the light was going. I saw an alley, between two shops, both now closed and dark, and skidded into it.

I huddled down in the alley, squeezed between a dumpster and a pile of mouldering boxes. The smell assaulted my senses, damp and musty. Wrapping my arms around my knees, I dropped my head and concentrated on being invisible. No just hiding from sight, but hiding from all the senses. I used my mental powers to focus on not existing. On not being. Look away, look past me, nothing to see here. I could sense the…presence… looking for me, questing along the mental link that had formed between us and growing frustrated that I had disappeared. I lost track of how long I sat there, shaking and exhausted by the power I was having to use, then suddenly, a hand on my shoulder, and I knew I had been found.

I tried to shout but I was too worn down and it came out as just a grunt. Looking up, the light was in my eyes and I blinked, trying to focus on the dark silhouette above me, then a voice, one I recognised, spoke to me and said my name. It was Bucky. I was safe. At once, I used the last of my strength to send a backwash of pain and fury along the mental link between myself and the unknown tormenter. I screamed inside my head as I tried to burn out the bridge and free myself. From unknown distances, I felt the shockwave as it hit them, the surprise attack they didn’t know – I didn’t know – I could use. As the link broke, I could feel the waves of agony flooding back towards me. People in the street walking by shook their heads and looked up, confused, as they sensed the fear and pain from some unknown source, although they weren’t sensitive to these things, it was too great to avoid. I saw Bucky stumble under the force, and it was the last thing I saw before everything went black.

#marvel fanfic

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loveforpreserumsteve · 4 years

Text

Begin Again (Mortician!Steve and Baker!Bucky Modern “Moving On” AU)

Thirty-Six:

Pulling up along the curb of the Tudor house, Steve's palms began to sweat. He wasn't even the one meeting a date there. He was hardly even a chaperone. Yet, seeing all the teens and their parents and siblings around made Steve feel like the scrawny high schooler he had once been.

"Okay," Steve sighed, turning to look over at Eddie.

Eddie mimicked his movement and prompted, "Okay…?"

"Call me, if you need anything," Steve counted off on his fingers, "Don't accept drinks from anyone, and if you do choose to be sexual tonight -- which I don't agree with, but can't stop you from doing -- please remember to use protection. Got it?"

"Got it," Eddie nodded, a blush on his pale freckled cheeks and his teeth in his lower lip.

Leaning forward, Steve softly questioned, "What's up?"

Eddie shrugged, "I just… What if… what if she doesn’t wanna dance with me?"

"Then, you find someone else to dance with," Steve's heart clenched, hoping with everything he had in him that Daisy didn't break his baby brother's heart. Grasping Eddie's shoulder, he reassured, "But there's no way that she won't want to. Not only are you the cutest Rogers', but you're also the best dancer. You're gonna knock her dead."

"Okay," Eddie nodded, taking in a deep breath as though trying to hype himself up. Reaching over the center console, Eddie gave Steve a quick hug before climbing out of the car.

"Ed!" Steve called out when he noticed the corsage box on the dashboard. Eddie turned back to the car and Steve pointed at the box. Smiling when Eddie bashfully reached in through the window to grab it, and Steve told him, "Have fun."

"Thanks, Steve," Eddie grinned, turning once and for all as he joined the ground of teenagers.

For a moment, Steve just sat there. He couldn't believe that his baby brother was going to his first Spring Formal. He couldn't believe that his baby brother had a date to his Spring Formal. It felt like only yesterday, Steve was nervously getting ready for his own Spring Formal. Sure, he never danced at it, unless Natasha made him. But with the way that Daisy met Eddie halfway, Steve knew that his brother had nothing to worry --

A knock to Steve's window startled him. Nearly causing him to jump out of his skin as his heart aggressively pounded against his ribs as though it were trying to escape. And when he turned to look up at the culprit, Steve wished that it would already. Just burst right through his chest and run off with stupid Bucky Barnes.

Stupid Bucky Barnes who was leaning down, peering into Steve's window to look at him. An unsure smile was on his aggravatingly handsome face, and Steve wanted to both kiss him and run him over. He was just…

"Knock, knock?" Bucky asked, worrying his lower lip as he lightly tapped his knuckle on the glass.

Slowly, Steve rolled down the window while he took in a shallow breath and begged for his hands to stop shaking. Not looking at the brunet, Steve greeted, "Hey."

"Can we talk?" Bucky asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Um," Steve worried his lower lip with his teeth as he tried to think of an excuse.

Bucky hurried, "It's okay, if not. I just wanted… It's okay, we don't have to."

Despite himself, Steve wanted to know what Bucky had to say. He had, after all, been ignoring Bucky's phone calls for the past week. So, he asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

"Well," Bucky puffed out his cheeks as he blew out the breath, "I was hoping that I could apologize, for starters."

Although his mind was warning him that this was a bad idea, his heart was threatening that this might be his last shot with Bucky. So, Steve unlocked the car and waited for Bucky to cross in front of it and eventually slide into the passenger seat.

Angling his body so his undivided attention was on Steve, Bucky began, "I'm sorry. I was selfish and I really should've asked you if you were okay with doing… that. I know that it's an… unusual… type of relationship and not everyone is okay with it. And I should've asked you about it first instead of just assuming. So, yeah, I'm sorry."

Steve hadn't been expecting that. Not even after Bucky had claimed he wanted to apologize. Mainly, Steve had been expecting some half-ass apology where it went, I'm sorry IF I offended you.

Choosing his words very carefully, Steve decided, "I accept your apology."

"Really?" Bucky let out a sigh of relief. Steve looked over at the brunet then and nodded his confirmation. Bucky eased in the soft worn-leather seat and asked, "So, can we be… friends… again…?"

Taking in a deep breath that didn't do nearly enough to calm him, Steve knew that he couldn't. No matter how badly he wanted to. He just… couldn't.

So, running his hand through his hair for something to do with his hands, Steve shook his head and declined, "That's not a good idea. I just… I still… I can't. Now, don't get me wrong, I want you to be happy. I really, really want you to be happy and do what makes you happy. But I got too close to you, and I wouldn't be a good friend if we tried again right now because all I'd be thinking about is…"

"Us," Bucky sadly, quietly supplied, looking down at his hands.

"Yeah," Steve confirmed, biting his lip again. "I just… need time… before I can be the friend that you deserve."

Silently, Bucky nodded his acceptance. Tongue momentarily darting out to wet his lips as he stared at the dashboard for a moment. Keeping his attention off Steve, Bucky finally said, "Thank you, for listening to me. I… I'm gonna go."

Mutely, Steve simply nodded. Not trusting his voice enough to vocally say goodbye to Bucky. Hoping that eventually they'd be able to be friends. But in that moment, it was too much. Especially when Bucky climbed out of Steve's car and discreetly wiped at his tears.

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