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softyoongiionly · 3 years

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♡︎Hᴛᴛᴘ Eʀʀᴏʀ 400 [Uɴᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀɪᴢᴇᴅ] ♡︎

☹︎ sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Min Yoongi is the top hacker in the world. He has put away countless other cyber criminals all whilst evading detection by virtually everyone he has ever crossed paths with, including the government. The diabolical super hacker that came close to tracking him down is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, all thanks to Yoongi’s handiwork. So what happens when the sentence is shortened unexpectedly? What happens when the biggest threat to public safety is roaming the streets again, determined to get revenge on the man who put him away? What happens when the worlds most infamous hacker just so happens to manage your local Mikrokosmic Electronics? A terabyte of trouble.

☹︎ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: hacker! Yoongi x reader

☹︎Gᴇɴʀᴇs: action, hacker! Au, smut, humor, angst (18+ only plz)

☹︎ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 8.7k

☹︎ Wᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: swearing, likely inaccurate depictions of computers and hacking, mutual pining and a little bit of clown behavior, mild angst, mentions of violence (future), verbal altercation (between Yoongi and unruly customer), explicit smut, oral (both), ass eating, filming during sex, (this story, like all of my others, is 18+ only)

☹︎ Aᴜᴛʜᴏʀs ɴᴏᴛᴇ: Welcome to the party!!! This is the first part of a four part series and its 3am and I am SLEEPY so this authors note is going to be a whole circus. I really hope you enjoy! I will try to continue to get these parts out on time, but I would love to know what you think. Special shout out to @bulletproofbirdy aka MY BESTIE who literally helps me with everything I ever write, and she is a genius and I love her. Also, @gldnrecs for so many cool plot elements and character development bits that make the story 8000 times better, i love you lots and I can’t wait to keep screaming about fics with you. oki bye. love you. here’s hacker yoongi...

Mikrokosmic Electronics

One thousand dollars was no easy prize. You spent most of your time away from school, working double shifts at the bar and, shoving all of your tip money into a baby pink piggy bank that you kept under your bed. Aching joints and sore muscles were a constant in your life, as was this desperate sense of dread every time you thought of this being your reality forever.

Financial instability felt very much like a thick cloud that hung over your head ever since you understood what money actually was. Your family knew the minefields of paycheck-to-paycheck living far too well, especially after the tragedy that struck nearly eleven years ago. Gaining a full-ride scholarship to the best art school in the country sounded like a way out, but you were a useless student without a laptop.

And falling behind was too expensive.

The scent of computer plastic and old air freshener immediately fills your nose as you push against the warm glass of the double doors. Mikrokosmic Electronics was the best rated store online for both discounts and customer service, and it was only a few miles from your apartment.

So opting to come here was a no brainer.

The lighting in the store is soft and neon, reflecting off of the merchandise in meaningful but subtle hues. Everything is organized in a rather aesthetic way as well; computer towers, monitors, laptops, old gaming systems, new gaming systems…

Each of them carefully slotted in their place and ready for purchase.

There are two men in front of you and then a woman up at the counter, but after a few seconds the men quickly realize that they want to keep browsing and surrender their place in line. You are puttering around on your phone at first, not really paying much attention to your surroundings until the lady in front of you starts raising her voice.

“Are you serious right now? It’s only a week passed the expiration date, I know you can override it in your system. Just take the stupid coupon!”

The sharp angles in her voice jolt you upright as your wide eyes assess the scene before you. A middle-aged woman is poised for verbal sparring with her hands on her hips and an iced caramel macchiato sweating on the countertop.

You can see the man behind the register now, and you note that his appearance seems to blend in with the cool neon tones around the interior of the store.

He’s taller than her, his black hair shaggy on top and tapering off into a vibrant pink as it frames either side of his neck. He’s dressed in a white t-shirt that’s tucked into a pair of lightwashed Levi’s, the whole outfit being accessorized with the most intense deadpan you’ve ever seen in your life.

“So the coupon is expired and stupid? I’m not really sure why you’re making such a scene then…”

His raspy voice floats aimlessly into the air, the twang of sarcasm sour and apparent.

“Oh is that the tone you’re going to take with me? Are you kidding right now? I’ve never met anyone like you in my life- this is absolutely despicable! I don’t think I’m making myself clear, either take my coupon or you’re going to have a really big problem on your hands!”

Her voice makes you cringe and despite you trying to shrug off the sound, it only seems to cling to the fabric of your clothes, causing you to feel uncomfortable.

The man doesn’t even blink, “Ma’am your expired coupon is not my problem, the system wouldn’t take it and I don’t feel like doing an override. If you want a discount that bad, just lift something off the shelf and run. I’ll even give you a head start…”

You can’t quite see her face just yet but her body language indicates that she’s disgusted, “Oh you are just a horrible person, aren’t you? You’re harassing me when all I’m trying to do is save a little bit of money! This isn’t a business you’re running, it’s a scam! And you bet your ass I will be reporting it to the police-“

“I’m sure you will.” He muses, entirely uninterested. His expression is amusing you beyond belief, you’ve never seen anyone deal with an unruly customer this way, “But please step to the side to do so, you’re holding up my line…”

The woman scoffs, “No, I will not be stepping to the side. I want the number for corporate and I want your manager’s number as well. You cannot treat a paying customer this way!”

The mans lips twitch, the beginning of a smirk playing on them as he stands up a little straighter, “The number for corporate is 800-382-5968.” He seems to be holding back a bit of laughter, as if he were apart of a joke that only he understood, “Also, I am the manager, and if you want my number sweetheart, you’re going to have to buy more than an extension cord; my sales are a little low today…”

She is visibly disgusted, her French-tip nails gripping the cold, sweaty exterior of her caramel macchiato as she rips it from the counter, “You are disgusting! I will be contacting your supervisors and informing them that they should shut down this location immediately. What is your name?!” She leans in and scans over the tattered name tag on his shirt, “Yoongi???? Is that it? Well Yoongi, you better start looking for a new job! I can’t imagine anyone would want to employ you after I tell them what happened here today.”

“Yeah yeah- tell them all about my awful behavior,” He encourages smugly, “The world deserves to hear your story. But I’m going to need you to step aside now. As fun as this conversation has been, Yoongi has other customers to satisfy so-“ He shoos her with a gesture of his hand causing her to finally storm off, huffing and puffing all the while.

As she does, you are able to get an even better look at him.

He’s hot, like really hot, and suddenly you’re distracted.

“Hi, how can I help you?” Yoongi reapplies the boredom to his voice as he mindlessly wipes the ring of condensation from the glass countertop.

“Well, I was going to ask you for laptop recommendations, but if we can just take anything from the shelf, I don’t think I need your help anymore…”

The tone in your voice intrigues him, his posture unraveling slightly as his cat-like gaze travel up the length of your body before finally clawing at your face. The smirk that was knocking at his lips earlier fully forms as he takes in the sight of you, “No no- you definitely need my help. I can’t offer the five-finger discount during business hours, but we can work something else out…” He responds smoothly before turning towards the stockroom, “Jimin-ah! Come out here and man the counter, I need to help out someone on the floor.”

A rush of disorganized blue hair comes striding out of the back, sporting an unamused pout on his pretty lips before grumbling,

“Make up your mind, Yoongi. I can’t keep abandoning my projects every time you want to help out a hot customer…”

You feel the back of your neck heat up at his co-workers honesty, a flash of excitement hitting the pit of your stomach.

Yoongi seems unbothered as he hops feet first over the counter, his clunky black boots thudding as they hit the carpet, “So do you have any specs in mind? Are you going to be using this for school, work, gaming…”

He jumps into his spiel immediately, not even bothering to respond to his co-worker as he leads you down the aisle full of laptops. They are set up amongst various props to mimic the illusion of them being used on a desk, the colors chosen complimenting the neon lighting above you.

“Well I’m a photography grad student at Blue Sky University- so something that can handle my editing software, something with good storage would be good too! Some of the bigger projects I do take up a lot of space…” You explain, strolling along beside him.

He nods for a moment before his brows raise at the mention of your university, “Blue Sky huh? Very nice…” He compliments, knowing full-well the kind of prestige your school holds. You bite your lip at his praise, never really knowing what to do when those kinds of comments are lofted your way, “Mac is usually the go-to for photo editors, but this Dell XPS 15 is pretty amazing too. Mac isn’t as compatible with other personal software, and it’s really overpriced.” He places a veiny hand on top of the screen of a black and rather sleek looking laptop, “It has an incredible 10 generation processor, and it will get you about 1TB of storage.”

You stand beside him, narrowing your eyes a bit as you take in the sight of the computer. Mindlessly you run your fingertips over the smooth tops of the black keys before responding, “This one is nice actually, a MacBook really isn’t in my budget, but all of my classmates swear by them…”

Yoongi jerks his chin towards you, “What kind of budget are you working with? The XPS is going to run you about 1,100 after tax- but I would argue that it’s worth the investment if you can do it. This computer is highly adaptable and comes with a lot of different specs and configuration options. Do you use photoshop?”

You’re nodding along with his explanation, trying to weigh out your options without wasting this man’s entire day, “I have a thousand set aside but I can be flexible, I just need something that’s going to work- oh! And something with good security…”

Yoongi smirks, “Why are you worried about getting hacked or something?”

Biting your lip, you shoot a wary look his way, “I meaaan, I kind of already did. I bought a used laptop off of reddit recently and it got a virus like- as soon as I started torrenting my software…”

Yoongi shakes his head and waves his hands out in front of him, “Whoa whoa whoa whoa. You bought a used laptop from where????”

His response makes you laugh, “Listen! I’m broke, ok? I did what I had to do…”

And now he’s laughing but he’s still shaking his head, wholeheartedly unimpressed, “Nahhh, I don’t give a shit if you’re broke. You’re better off printing out your pictures at Kinko’s or something and bringing them into class, like old school shit. Bugged laptops on Reddit are like one of the oldest scams in the book. Do you still have that computer?”

“Yeahhhh- why? Wait what do you mean? I thought they just sold me a shitty computer, I didn’t know it was part of a legitimate scam thingy.” You whine, looking rather helpless and rather adorable, according to Yoongi.

He chuckles, “Yeah it’s a huge data farming trend right now. The department of cyber security has been up Reddit’s ass for the last year trying to shut it down…how much did you pay?”

You cross your arms, feeling rather self-conscious all of the sudden, “It doesn’t matter- go back to telling me about the terabytes and specs or whatever…”

His chuckling turns sharply into cackling as he tilts his head at you, “Tell me. C’mon, I’ve fallen on hard times before and bought some questionable things from the internet, there’s no judgement here.”

Huffing you look up at him and try to ignore the way his eyes seem to sparkle in amusement, “I don’t know, like $300?”

Yoongi immediately purses his lips, trying to hold in his laughter for a moment before he fails miserably and starts it all up again, “You’re kidding, right? And you were surprised that you downloaded a virus? Things at Blue Sky must have really gone down hill…”

Rolling your eyes, you present a pout onto your lips as he continues to cackle at you, “Hey! You said there wouldn’t be any judgement…”

He shrugs, his eyes twinkling with mischief, “Well I was already in the middle of judging you so-“

“Okay you know what? I was desperate, and I did what needed to be done. Now that may have led me to owning a haunted computer, but I regret nothing…”

Yoongi is still snickering, entirely too tickled by your misfortune, “Haunted computer- you’re ridiculous.“ He repeats, shaking his head, “What kind of virus do you have, do you know? It’s probably some low-level amateur shit…”

The tone of his voice elicits a warmth in your belly that you haven’t felt in quite some time, and you’re trying not to get too excited about it, but the way his eyes keep lingering on your lips is making it difficult.

“It’s actually super weird, every time I open my browser it automatically takes me to some like luxury vacation website? That’s the only thing that will load on the computer now. I don’t know who they think I am, but if I’m buying a used computer from a Reddit forum like- obviously I don’t have vacation money…” You muse aloud, a laugh catching on the tail end of your sentence.

Yoongi’s brows furrow, “Do you remember what the site was called?”

“Uhhh-“ You try and wrack your brain, “I don’t know, something about fields of flowers or running through the flowers? Why?”

Thankfully, the name doesn’t ring a bell, but Yoongi is still uneasy by the answer.

It can’t be, he thinks, there’s no way.

Dollsen was locked away for another 3 years, and even if he was out, the government mandated that he would never be allowed to use technology unsupervised again.

“No reason, I was just trying to figure out if it was a malware I recognized…” He lies smoothly before patting the top of the laptop in front of him, “This will be a good option in terms of security, it comes with a year subscription to an anti-virus software, but I can write down some sites for you to download a better one. What are you thinking though, did you want to look at other models?”

Not really, I kinda want to keep talking to you all day if that’s cool…

“I’m thinking this is a good option.” You conclude, “I like the screen and the keys are pretty too- also it looks pretty sturdy so if someone were to hypothetically spill ranch in the keyboard, I feel like it could handle that…”

Yoongi chuckles, “I don’t fix ranch-related accidents, so you’d be shit out of luck if you tried to bring it back here…”

“I don’t know where you got the idea that it would be me spilling the ranch, I’ve definitely never done that before. Anyway!” You rush out before changing the subject, “I’ll take this one please. Thank you for your help.”

And he just kind of smirks at you, a mixture of annoyance and amusement written on his features before he flashes a pair of finger guns towards the storage room, “Alright, you got it. I’ll be right back with your new state of the art, ranch-proof, laptop. Meet me at the empty register on the left there…”

“Thank youuu,” You sing song as he makes his way towards their stock room. Navigating through the small crowd of people lingering at one of the displays, you do as Yoongi instructed and wait by the inactive register.

Yoong emerges with a white box in his arms moments later with a memory of a grin still on his heart shaped mouth. He seems to move very comfortably in the space he takes up, traversing around the store as if it’s the very empire he oversees. There is something about him that intrigues you, the oddity of him, the way he looks like he’s just stepped out of a graphic novel…

Maybe getting scammed on the internet isn’t so bad after all.

He huffs as he places the laptop on the counter, before his elegant fingers dance over the keypad on his register, the light from the screen illuminating his face.

“Okay so- we have the computer itself, it comes with a charging cable obviously and a few other accessories but if you need anything else, you know where to find them…” He explains, narrowing his eyes a bit as he looks over the price breakdown, “I wrote down some of those websites where you can get a better anti-virus software- oh! And…” He leans down and grabs a thin white plastic card with the Microsoft logo on it, “I’m throwing in a subscription to Microsoft Office too…”

“Wait isn’t that normally like $100? Aren’t you going to get in trouble for that?” You falter, looking at him expectantly.

He raises his brows playfully, “Are you gonna rat me out?”

“No,” You assure him, giggling as you feel your cheeks heating up once again, “I’m just making sure…”

“I give away free shit all the time…” He assures you with confidence, biting his lip when he hears you giggle, “Taking money from billionaires is my part-time job.”

“Amen to that,” You point at him, your eyes lingering on his teeth, “Well, thank you. I usually just torrent the software that I need, but I’m a little wary after what happened with Reddit.”

Yoongi clicks at his keyboard for awhile longer, lip still secured between his teeth whilst he shakes his head, “Torrenting is perfectly safe as long as you don’t get caught. The virus would have happened either way.”

Sighing, you lean against the counter and take a peek at your new computer, feeling a sense of accomplishment, “Well that makes me feel better- I should probably try to find a way to pay for the real thing though, the one I download always crashes on me…”

He doesn’t seem to be listening to you anymore, eyes still focused on his screen, his tone cool and detached as he asks, “What are you doing later?”

Excitement dances through you, “T-tonight? Uh I don’t think I have anyplanswhy?” Your tongue is tangled and Yoongi smirks as he hears the way your tone seems to falter.

“Come back at closing and I’ll hook you up.” He replies coolly, finally bringing his eyes back to yours.

Subconsciously, you stand up straighter, eyes sparkling with intrigue, “Really? How?”

He places his palms against the countertop and leans forward, still smirking, “I know my way around a computer…” He answers before chuckling, “Don’t worry about it, just come by and I’ll get you whatever you need.”

You cock your head, feigning suspicion, “You have ulterior motives…”

And this makes him cackle again, his hands moving from the counter and returning to the computer, “Nah, it’s nothing like that, I promise. I just would hate to see you spend so much money on this computer and then fuck it up with a shoddy download.”

With your lips twitching at the sound of his laughter, you finally allow the smile onto your mouth whilst you hand him your debit card, “What time should I come back?”

Yoongi’s grin broadens, “We close at 9:30, so anytime after that is good. I usually chill here for a while because the Wi-Fi at my apartment sucks.”

Your stomach churns in the face of his smile, the moisture from your mouth beginning to cease. The level of attraction you feel towards this man is insane…

But you pretend to mull it over once more, not wanting to seem too eager until finally you resign, “Alright fine- I’m not going to say no to free photoshop. Should I just come in through the front or?”

He nods, scanning over your receipt before handing it to you, “Yeah that works…” He replies, “…and it’s Y/N, right?”

You literally just saw him look at your receipt, but you still ask, “Wait how did you…”

Yoongi just raises his brows, a judgmental smirk on his lips.

“Right! Thanks Yoongi, I’llseeyouthen…” You rush out, forgoing anymore pleasantries (embarrassment) and rushing out the store.

The smirk remains on Yoongi’s lips long after you leave, and for the rest of the day, he glides through each task with the hopes that maybe he’ll get lucky tonight.

He doesn’t expect to, but he could tell you were feeling him, and he would be a liar if he said he didn’t think you were cute.

Yoongi lets you back into Mikrokosmic Electronics at a quarter til 10, the neon lights still on and much more prominent than they were during the day.

Throughout the duration of the setup, he continues to flirt with you, his eyes continue to linger, and he continues to send butterflies to the pit of your stomach. He does something fancy with your laptop and then informs you that the download is likely to take about an hour and then he will be able to run another anti-viral test on it. The two of you resign to your phones rather quickly after the download begins, but every so often you can still feel his eyes on you. You have a feeling he isn’t going to put anything on the table, but after the stressful week of classes you had, you’re itching to distract yourself.

“What do you want to do until then?”

Yoongi’s lip twitch as he swivels to face you, his sly expression illuminated by the cerulean light, “We could make out…”

The damage to your heartbeat is immeasurable, the core of you immediately clenching around his suggestion as your sweaty palms grip the edge of the counter.

“Yeah- we could definitely do that…” You agree, your own mouth itching with excitement, “We should probably do that.”

Yoongi snickers at your correction, a bit of surprise in his gaze, “Probably huh? Why is that?”

He’s playful but the way his eyes seem to brush up against every inch of your skin and the way the umber in them seems to burn before you, tells a different story.

You take a deep breath, “I mean you said you had an oral fixation right? That’s why you were chewing on the straw when I got here; Giving your mouth something to do might help the time pass- and it would like, you know, make you more comfortable.”

His chair squeaks as he stands, the cool and even length of him suddenly feeling much bigger. The slight smirk on his lips is permanent with only the small addition of his tongue caressing the bottom one.

“Do you lend your mouth to everyone that has an oral fixation or am I special?” His tone is shifting rapidly, oscillating between taunting and tentative.

Before you can even respond, Yoongi’s hips level with your kneecaps, his eyes still searching around for your answer.

Your cheeks are on fire as you feel the large expanse of his palms resting atop your thighs, his bitten nails brushing just below the hem of your skirt. You’re so distracted by your arousal that you don’t even realize you aren’t looking at him until you feel the gentle pressure on your limbs as he coaxes them apart.

Standing between your legs, the denim of Yoongi’s jeans scrapes against the inside of your knees, the sensation much more thrilling than it should be. And he smells incredible as well, like sandalwood and coffee, and you’re convinced he applied an aphrodisiac instead of cologne.

Finally, your eyes flicker back to his, only to find him smirking at you yet again.

As if he does anything else…

But you feel the need to be bold, desperately wanting to lean into your desires so you murmur, “No…you’re special.”

Yoongi takes that as his cue, his breath chasing after your own whilst he leans in to brush his lips against yours, chuckling darkly when he sees you shiver.

“You’re really fucking cute.” He rasps and then his lips tuck into yours.

Yoongi’s mouth is a contradiction, eagerly exploring the surface of your lips with his own, the blunt sting of his teeth pinching at you every so often all whilst his breathing seems to slow. His hands and head move at glacial speeds, head slowly pivoting on an axis to get a taste of all of you, as his hands brush up and down your bare thighs.

Your fingers find their own groove, sliding up either side of his slender neck, your fingertips playing with the hot pink tendrils of his hair, doing anything you can to elicit the same kind of obvious arousal you’ve already displayed.

But Yoongi doesn’t budge.

Instead, you feel him smirk against your lips when a soft whimper leaves your throat, the sound entirely caused by his decision to introduce his tongue into the mix.

His tongue is like candy, soft like cotton, and possessed by some dark spirit sent to destroy you.

He knows exactly how to taunt you, the tip of his muscle brushing against your own, but never allowing you to tangle with it for too long. Your eyes are closed but you can feel his hands searching for your waist. When they arrive at their destination, Yoongi uses his strength to urge you closer, your legs wrapping around his waist whilst he leans into you.

The black hair atop Yoongi’s head glides effortlessly through your fingers, the kiss growing messier and messier until you find your clothed pussy flush against the cool steel of his belt buckle.

You’re wet and desperately sensitive after making out with him, your lips disconnecting with a gasp.

Dark and delighted cackling leaves the confines of his seductive mouth, his eyes cast down for the moment before he looks up at you. And the urge to gasp again is hard to ignore as you see how much his gaze has changed.

He looks a bit haggard from the work you’ve done on his hair but more so than anything, he just looks hungry.

“Are you alright?” He inquires with a raise of his brows.

Through a deep breath, you nod, chewing on your bottom lip a bit as you try and hold his gaze.

“Yeah…sorry. I just-“

But the sensation of soft fingertips crawling up your inner thighs interrupts you along with Yoongi’s next question.

“Did I turn you on?”

Although the question is laced with some arrogance, Yoongi looks intrigued beyond belief, his head cocking to the side as he awaits your answer.

And what are you to say? No?

Are you going to look this man in the face and tell him that your panties aren’t sticking to your pussy right now? Glued to you by your own arousal?

“Mhm…” You hum, trying to relax as you lean in and kiss him again, summoning the bravery within you.

Yoongi feels his dick throb in his jeans at the sweet sound of your voice, and now he’s left wondering about all of the other sweet sounds you can make.

He lets you kiss him for the time being, but he withholds his tongue from you and merely pecks at your lips over and over again, soft laughter rumbling deep inside his chest as he feels you pout.

“Yoongi-“ You whine, your fingers pressing into the back of his neck.

And he merely hums, both lips attaching to your bottom one before using his teeth to pull it away from your mouth. He starts kissing down your chin as you speak next, his massive hands now sliding over your hips.

“What percentage is the download on?” He murmurs, still kissing and nibbling up the side of your neck.

You have difficulty focusing your vision with Yoongi’s lips dancing carelessly against your skin, but after a bit of effort, you’re able to make out the answer.

“67.” You answer, swallowing back a whimper when he bites down on the base of your neck.

You can feel him smile, fingertips teasing at the skin at the hem of your skirt once again, “67 huh? That’s a shame; I thought we had way more time.”

Like the punchline of a cruel joke, Yoongi pulls away from you, licking the taste of your skin from his lips before taking his hands from your thighs. Your skin is on fire in his absence, heated and agitated like a sunburn. Without any control, your lips part in disbelief when he tries to head back to your computer. Your hand is on his wrist then, your lips puckered all over again, and you can’t remember the last time you ever pouted for something in your adult life.

“Wait-” You protest, with a wary look in your eye.

Like a cat in the face of his prey, the darkness in Yoongi’s eyes zeros in on your lips before feigning confusion, “Oh-” He mocks, “What are you pouting for?”

But you’re tired of feeling frozen beneath his attitude, so you act on your boldness quickly before it hides away again.

“I thought we were going to-”

“What?” He cuts you off with a teasing grin, “Did you think I was going to fuck you?”

Your heart jumps, “I don’t know- I just thought like, maybe you wanted to-

He grins at your stammering, eyes widening a bit to taunt you, “You did, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t- I dont know” You bite your lip, batting your eyes unintentionally, “I just didn’t want you to stop.”

He hates to admit it, but your demeanor is affecting him, and it’s making the crotch of his jeans much tighter.

“You didn’t want me to stop?” He practically coos, but the same level of mockery is still in his tone. His wrist is out of your hand now, his palms resting on your thighs once more as he slots himself between them.

You shake your head, wrapping your legs around him, as the tips of your fingers find the pink strands of hair once again. “I like kissing you…”

Yoongi takes a deep breath through his nose, his lips still turned up at the corner before he chuckles, “Yeah?” He lessens the gap between your mouths, leaning into you all over again, his eyes locking onto yours as his voice drops down to a whisper, “You want me to kiss you somewhere else?”

Your panties are completely ruined at this point, and he hasn’t even touched you, but the sinful suggestion he makes only worsens the situation between your legs.

Without an ounce of contemplation, you’re nodding in affirmation, your thighs parting subconsciously with your decision. The warmth and moisture coming from your core interacts abruptly with the cold air of the store, and the sensation makes you grit your teeth.

You’re so sensitive.

Yoongi wastes no time, his fingers finding their way underneath your skirt and under the band of your underwear. Slowly, and still making eye contact with you, he pulls them down your legs and allows them to drop to the floor. He eyes them for a moment, contemplating whether or not to clean them up before deciding to turn his attention back on you. With his index finger he lifts the bottom of your skirt up carefully, and you see the exact moment he makes eye contact with your pussy.

“Holy shit-” He chuckles, biting his bottom lip, “Messy messy girl...you got this wet just from kissing me?”

You nod immediately, opening up wider for him so that he can see all of you, “You’re a really good kisser.”

And fuck, it’s the way you giggle at the end of your sentence, the way your pussy literally glistens for him, the soft skin of your thighs, the breathy tone in your voice that is sending him into a frenzy.

But he keeps cool, wanting to set the pace, wanting to hear you whine some more.

“You have no idea…” He warns you with a smirk, as he trails his fingers down your arm before gripping your hand, “ …I want you to touch yourself first though.”

Immediately, you tense up a bit, feeling nervous at the thought of pleasuring yourself in front of a complete stranger. Yoongi’s perceptive however, and catches on, kissing the back of your hand and then leading it to your aching pussy.

“It’s not a test.” He teases, “I just want to see what you like…”

His comment makes you giggle, and you don’t even want to question why you feel so at ease with him, you just do.

“I’d still like a grade afterwards though,” You insist with a grin, “I live for validation.”

Your hand is travelling every so shakily across the crease of your thigh as Yoongi’s eyes cling to the back of it like a hawk. With a quirk to his lips, he watches your fingertips move closer to your clit, his tongue brushing against his bottom lip subconsciously.

Wordlessly, he sinks to his knees before you, hands rested on your kneecaps as he aids them apart. Completely spread before him, you feel your heartrate wobble in your chest when he starts placing kisses up the length of your thigh.

Watching his warm lips sponge across your sensitive flesh whilst the cold metal from his jewelry follows in their path is enough to prompt your fingers to settle on your clit. Pleasure skyrockets up either side of your cunt, the pads of your digits working eagerly against the sensitive bundle of nerves. Yoongi’s eyes are still on your fingers, his lips working up one side of your thigh whilst his longer fingers tickle up the other. The cacophony of sensations is maddening, drawing you closer to an orgasm way too quickly.

A soft and breathy moan escapes your mouth, to which Yoongi responds by scoffing against your skin.

“You’re fucking hot.” He testifies, suddenly biting down on the meat of your leg, which only prompts another moan from you. Your throat is completely dry, but you try and swallow anyway as you increase the pressure on your clit. It’s sensitive, but it desires more, it’s hungry for a mouth it’s never even met yet.

But you’re watching him, watching the way his pink mouth puckers and sucks ever so slightly, watching the way his fingers tease and torment over your skin…

He knows exactly what he’s doing.

“Back and forth?” He clarifies, flattening his tongue before licking right in the crease of your thigh, “Right on the top there?”

“Yes-“ You breathe, your fingers growing less and less capable the closer his lips get to your pussy.

“That’s how I should eat it?” He asks again through a knowing smirk, licking the crease on the other side.

“Yes.”

He snickers at the desperation in your voice, looking up at you through his lashes with his fingertips pressed against your inner thighs.

“Impatience will get you nowhere with me, sweetheart.” He drawls as his tongue suddenly finds its way to your entrance, he licks once, collecting a bit of your arousal before moving down further and licking right over the puckered ring of muscles.

Instantly you gasp, but you don’t even have time to process the new sensation because he’s drawing his wanton muscle from entrance to entrance, slurping salaciously as he does.

“Fuck…” You whisper, your toes curling painfully in your shoes as he repeats the same motion.

“I hate when dudes say that pussy tastes sweet…” He muses casually, despite his filthy actions, “Pussy tastes like pussy- that shit is one of a kind.”

His words do a number on you, but you are beginning to grow desperate at the thought of finishing yourself off before he has the chance to, so you stop for a moment and cup his face.

“Yoongi, I’m so-“

He interrupts you with a chuckle, “Yeah yeah I know- you want my tongue, just give me a second. I’m busy…”

His interruption infuriates you, but you’d be lying if you said that you didn’t drip at his tone of voice. And even if you wanted to lie, Yoongi already knows all about the way you’re dripping for him, as he’s licked up the length of you three more times.

“Just keep playing with that pretty clit of yours- I’ll be up in a moment.” He promises, and you know his tongue is going back down to your ass but you’re not expecting his fingers to start tickling down your thighs again.

He’s giving you goosebumps, your nipples aching in the cups of your bra, your vision grow hazier as the pleasure begins to interrupt your senses.

If regular communication isn’t piercing through Yoongi’s demeanor, then you figure you need to try a different angle.

“Oh fuck.” You’re whimpering again, “That feels so good.”

Yoongi’s eyes zero in on your face now, his dilated pupils peeking up at you through his fringe. You accept the challenge, staring down at him, admiring the way his nose is buried in the space just below your entrance, his tongue still lapping at your ass.

“I’ve never let anyone do this before…” The tone coming from your throat is sweet, feigning innocence but laced with very real pleasure, “You’re doing it so well- it’s making me so wet.”

For the first time, you hear him groan against you, his lips moving between your two holes and sucking gently at the flesh there.

“It’s so hard, Yoongi-“ You keen softly, pouting your lips, “None of those frat boys ever eat it right, it’s been so long since anyone has made me cum…”

And he’s had enough.

Practically growling the word, “Fuck.” The wet tip of his nose is nudging your hand away from your clit, replacing it with his soft tongue. Mewling, you immediately encase your neglected breasts in your palms, cursing the fabric that’s in the way. You jerk into his mouth, his capable tongue finding the spot you were rubbing at and applying the perfect amount of pressure. He’s puckering his lips, sucking gently at times, but keeping his tongue at the forefront of his motions.

“Ohmygod, fuck yes…”

Yoongi smirks at the sound of you moaning for him, his hands finding their way to the tops of your hips, securing them in place.

He’s riled you up so much, you know that you won’t last long, especially not with his expert mouth working you into a frenzy.

Yoongi plucks at your clit, sucking at it for a moment before pulling away slightly, “I bet your clit doesn’t throb for any of those frat boys, does it? They have no fucking clue how to get you there…”

Rapidly, you shake your head, the grip on your tits increasing as your hips begin rocking into his mouth.

“I’m really really close.” You’re pleading with him, and you have no idea why, “I’m so close, oh fuck I’msoclose…”

Yoongi grunts against your cunt, and you can’t even imagine the kind of mess you’ve made on the counter beneath you.

“Cum in my mouth then…” He orders with his tongue still on you, that same smug look in his eyes.

“Oh fuck – Oh fuck, oh fuck…fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…” You whimper, jerking away once before your hands tuck into Yoongi’s hair. Without thinking, you ride out your high against his mouth, grinding your clit up on his tongue, moaning wantonly all the while. Yoongi has to dig his nails into your hips to ground himself, the sounds leaving your lips travelling straight to his dick and presenting the very real possibility of him nutting in his pants.

“Yoongiiii-“ You shudder as he keeps licking at you whilst your high is subsiding.

But he can’t stop at the moment, his tongue slipping into every dripping fold you have, collecting all of the cum you gave him.

“I’m making you cum again…” He vows, biting the top of your pussy before going right back to your clit.

Despite the sensitivity you feel, you are fully willing to push through the overstimulation for another orgasm like the one you just had.

But your laptop has other plans…

“Download complete.” A monotone voice drones on the other end of the counter, startling you.

“Fuck-“ Yoongi groans as he pulls away from you, his mouth soaking wet.

“Just ignore it, we’ll get it in a second.”

Yoongi smirks proudly as he stands up, licking over his lips once before shaking his head, “No I have to enter a few codes to optimize it and its on a timer.”

His hair is a disheveled mess on his head, but he doesn’t bother fixing it as he strolls over to your laptop. Its then that you can notice the sizeable bulge in his jeans. The fabric is warped around his erection, the predicament looking almost painful, and suddenly your concern shifts rapidly.

For the time being, you just watch him as he sits down at his desk chair, you take a bit of pride in the way his fingers shake as they move over the keyboard, but the movements of his mouth do something else entirely.

Mindlessly and glowing from the light on your screen, Yoongi licks at his lips, sucking off all of your cum and humming to himself as he does. You can tell he is trying to ignore the painful throbbing of his cock by the way he shifts uncomfortably in his chair.

And not to add insult to injury but…

“Yoongi?” You call softly, your voice slurring a bit, still recovering from your orgasm.

“Hm?” He hums, still focusing on the task at hand.

“When you’re done, will you put your dick in my mouth?”

Instantly, you can hear the sound of his typing size, his fingers now hesitating on the keyboard as a devious grin crawls on his mouth.

“Come here…”

Moments later, his jeans and boxers are around his ankles, as your lips kiss up the throbbing length of him. His cock jumps with excitement as you near the tip, your tongue following suit to clean up the bit of precum that has collected. Yoongi’s chest is rising steadily and other than the way his dick is reacting to your motions, you’d have no other way of knowing that he was turned on.

But you can feel his eyes on you, watching your every move, trying to anticipate the next one, and hoping that you’ll put on a good show for him.

And you do not disappoint.

You over exagger+ate slightly, hollowing your cheeks out as you suck up the length of him, allowing your tongue to tease at his weaping slit. Yoongi’s nostrils flare with the force of his breath then, his stomach caving in under the privacy of his t-shirt as you begin a rhythm on him. At the moment, his hands are hanging at his side, his silence penetrating the air as you suck on him like a woman starved. His lack of sounds is starting to unnerve you, so you allow your eyes to flit to him, only to be met with the same irresistible smirk he’s been wearing all day.

“Jesus-” He grunts, chuckling a bit as you increase your pace on him, “You’ve got some fucking mouth on you.”

His praise fuels the fire deep in your belly as your hand comes up to assist your mouth, the two of them working together in tandem. Yoongi arches his hips, trying his best to stay in the heavenly confines of you. He doesn’t think he’s ever had head this good, and after eating you out, he’s beginning to dread how quickly he wants to cum.

“Do you suck dick this good at the frat house?” He goads, his voice getting raspy, “Or do you just really like the way I taste?”

You stroke him as you pull off for a moment, giggling at his comment and positioning your tongue at his tip, “Bold of you to assume I suck dick there at all.”

He huffs out a bit of laughter which dies rather quickly when you trace the edges of his frenulum with your tongue. He doesn’t respond to you and instead allows his hands to push up his t-shirt, exposing the creamy skin of his stomach. You slide your mouth right back on him, your pussy clenching at the site of Yoongi’s happy trail, wishing desperately that he had been less eager and allowed you to kiss and tease all over his body.

His fingertips find his pert nipples, brushing over the tops of them and sending a shiver down his spine. His lips are parted in a type of awe as he stares down at you, the sensations on his dick coupled with him tugging at his nipples nearly too much to handle, and so starts the arousal-driven truth serum.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had my dick sucked this good…” He breathes out a shaky laugh, back arching a bit as he continues playing with the sensitive buds atop his chest.

But you merely stare back at him, allowing the glint in your eye to form as you squeeze at his base and work your hand back up towards your lips.

Yoongi’s eyes don’t leave yours as he continues, shaking his head in disbelief, “You put on such a good show too- I’m up here like-“ Shaky laugh, pinch, eyes lulling, “reconsidering my premium porn subscriptions and shit. Who needs that when I can just watch your pretty fucking mouth on my dick?”

To drive his point home, you suck all the way up to the tip again, brushing your lips against it as you murmur, “You wanna film me?”

Yoongi’s eyes light up and seconds later, his shaky fingers are pressing record on his cell phone, doing his best to focus the camera on you.

You keep at it, staring wide eyed into his camera and whimpering softly around his cock, wanting to perform for him.

“Fuck- that’s it…there you go…” He grunts, his hips starting to rock up between your lips, “You like having a dick in your mouth don’t you?”

Nodding enthusiastically, you increase your pace even more, his lithe body now moving with the force of it. Yoongi’s eyes are on you through the lens of his phone, and he knows that this video is going to be a mess, but he doesn’t give a fuck.

He’s going to put it to good use anyway.

“Tell the camera how much you like it…” He rasps, the edges of his vision starting to go, his hips raising off of the chair.

You come up off of him again, drooling at the top him and grinning happily at his phone, “I like having your cock in my mouth-“ You correct, licking over his slit, “-you taste so good, I want more, I want you to cum.”

Yoongi moans softly, sitting up in the chair a bit so he has a better view of you, “Yeah? You want me to cum in your mouth?”

“Yes please…” You giggle, kissing the head of his cock before taking him down your throat again.

His whole body shudders when he gives you what you ask for, and Yoongi actually worries about the intensity of it. He’s had some good orgasms sure, but never one that’s fucked with his vision…

You suck off of him as he finishes, showing off his load to the camera before making a show of swallowing it all done.

“Holy shit, where the hell did you come from?” He laughs, his voice completely shot as he slumps against the chair.

You find your way up to his mouth to kiss him again, and he responds lazily, but you can feel him grinning towards the end of it.

Eventually, your soiled panties find their way underneath your skirt and Yoongi’s pants find their way up his legs. He finishes up what he’s doing on your computer, the two of you easily settling into small talk when Yoongi begins wrapping up.

He hands you your laptop box, “You should be good. I checked out the security system like I said earlier and everything is fairly airtight. But make sure you bring it back to me as soon as you see anything weird.”

Your balance and grip are not in the best shape after the events that have just transpired between the two of you, but you thank him and slip out of the door he holds open into the cool evening air. Yoongi’s keys clink against the door handle as he locks up, peeking inside momentarily to make sure the alarm light was set.

The two of you kinda linger as he turns back to you, his eyes holding that familiar glint, “So uh- this was fun.” His laugh is a little off, but you find it kind of cute as he shifts his weight from one side to the other.

“Very fun.” You agree, giggling.

Yoongi grins at the sound of your laughter, “Well, if you ever want to have some more fun, you know where to find me.”

You mirror his grin, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He chuckles before nodding in understanding, leaning to the side a bit before jerking his chin behind you, “Do you need a ride home or is that your car?”

“Oh! Yeah-“ You remember, pulling your keys out of your purse, “-that’s me. What about you? Where are you parked?”

He points to the black sedan parked across the street, “That’s me over there.” He kind of stands there for a bit longer before leaning in and pecking your lips, “Get home safe alright? I’ll see you around.” You feel a little woozy as he leaves your lips, unable to contain your own dazed smile as he heads over to his car.

“You too!” You call out to him when he’s put some distance between you and gives you a short wave in return.

The two of you go your separate ways, and each of you are left with lingering thoughts of one another. For you, this is perfectly reasonable.

You met a hot guy, you had insane chemistry, you gave each other amazing orgasms…voila, you think about said hot guy. The occupancy Yoongi has in your brain is comfortable, it makes you feel giddy and excited at the thought of getting to see him again. You don’t think you’re looking for anything serious, but you’re definitely looking for more of whatever that was. You smile like an idiot all the way home.

Yoongi, however, has an entirely different experience. Sure he’s used to smirking to himself after hooking up with a hot girl, he’s used to feel satisfied and confident, he’s used to filing away certain moments to jerk off to later but-

He is not used to whatever he’s feeling right now.

He’s thinking about you specifically. Your breathy moans, your body, the way you fell apart on his tongue, the way you sucked him off…

He’s thinking about your lips, your eyes, your face, your laugh…

And that’s never a good sign.

So he brushes it off.

He goes back to the filthy moments and reminds himself that he captured a pretty amazing video that he will be jacking off to for the foreseeable future.

You were pretty incredible, weren’t you?

Yoongi stumbles into his apartment, his combat boot catching on the door frame as he flicks the light switch one.

He’s exhausted and doesn’t even bother washing up before crashing into bed in just his boxers. He’s pulled his phone out of his pocket and plugged it in, setting it face up on the nightstand.

He turns on the TV and as his switching over to Netflix, a text message from the literal last person on Earth that he wants to hear from pops up on his screen.

Special Agent Kim: Ken is leaving the Dreamhouse

Special Agent Kim: We need to talk.

Fuck.

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tteokdoroki · 4 years

Text

what he lost | k.bakugou.

⇝ pairing: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader.

⇝ word count: 5.4K

⇝ rating: for everyone.

⇝ genre: pro hero!au, exes!au, angst.

⇝ summary: back then; he was young, dumb and a little too prideful, taking your love for granted. now, years down the line he wonders if he’ll ever stand a chance in getting you back or the one in which katsuki bakugou grew up a little too late.

⇝ warning(s): please read ! heavy angst, no happy ending, mentions of toxic relationships, emotional distress, mentions of violence ( explosions, fight scenes, knives, blood ) and cursing all around.

⇝ author’s note(s): greetings everyone!! i hope you’re all doing well, today’s one-shot is a request from @killakatsuki, i know you wanted a happy ending but i got a little ahead of myself eee !! anyways thank you all for 400+ followers, i love you all :(

⇝ masterlist | requests

“katsuki bakugou if you leave me right now, please... please don’t come back.”

bakugou had always hated that, he thought, casting his gaze elsewhere in the room. he always hated how you cried when you were angry, red hot tears stinging a pathway down the apples of your usually glowing cheeks.

he couldn’t quite place the reasoning as to why. maybe it was because you rarely ever found yourself angry or perhaps it was how pathetic you looked when your bottom lip wobbled and your harsh words were laced with watery sobs.

or maybe it was because he didn’t want to feel sorry for you, didn’t want to comfort you when he was too prideful to admit that you were right. “whatever, don’t tell me what the fuck to do.” he spits, eyes and voice full of a venom he barely ever uses against you. he watches with a scarlet gaze as you falter, as if a knife has dug deep into your heart and cut you all up but bakugou only scoffs and continues to pack his side kick costume into the duffle bag he’s got on your shared bed.

every fibre of his being is tell him to reach out for you and apologise, he knows that he’s wrong. keeping his late night shifts from you, working extra hours— of course you were going to worry but he needed you to understand that being a hero was his dream above all else. the last thing he needed was a distraction like you.

something in you changed that night, both of you. as the rain hit hard on the roof of your shared apartment, even as you took his things and threw them out into the hall and even as you gave him one last chance on the doorstep. “you can leave now and not comeback or you can stay and we’ll talk this through—“ your eyes spoke to him in a silent plead, asking him if he would really give up the life that you’d built for lies and a better job?

but you knew the answer already.

“like i said,” katsuki rolled his eyes as knowing sobs wracked your body. “i never needed you anyways.”

you slammed the door before he could walk away and forget the tears in your eyes.

six years later and katsuki is pissed.

he’d been irritable since this morning when his interns fucked up the paperwork at his agency— leaving him to clean it up and then when his assistant brought him the wrong coffee and forgot to notify him of the pro hero meeting he was currently attending right at this very minute.

of course heroes of all different calibers were present; including none other than the number two, shoto todoroki, who was in charge of directing this week’s patrol missions but something about that only grinds the explosive pro’s gears even more. although, he could see himself being even more pissed if the number one; deku had shown his face instead of being away on an overseas mission. the schedule for this week’s patrol sits heavily in bakugou’s hand and he almost wants to burn it to pieces just at the thought of working with his future partner.

‘yn ln.’

the sight of your name printed in block capitals next to his has the ash blonde reeling, glancing up to send a blazing scowl towards shoto. he feels set up, as if the half hot, half cold bastard is dangling you right in front of him— its not like todoroki doesn’t know the history that sits between bakugou and yourself, after all, he had been the friend you’d ran off to during the fight that ended your five year relationship.

it’s like todoroki had a sixth sense because by the time he’d finish announcing the pair ups, he’d tiredly caught wind of katsuki’s heated stare. “bakugou—“

“i wanna fuckin’ switch, icyhot.”

“you can’t.”

bakugou stands from his seat next to kirishima ( who only looks apologetically at his colleagues ), annoyance rippling through his veins as he approaches the taller male. “why the fuck not?” he growls, small explosions sparking in the palms of his sweaty hands ( he was undeniably nervous because of the impending patrol ) the group of heroes simultaneously sigh— having been used to the explosive pro’s usual outbursts.

todoroki sighs, running his cooler hand over his face. “because the pairs have been matched up by quirk and strength, on top of that they were done in advance so if you really have a problem with it then i suggest you take it up with the number one—“ the dual quirked hero falls silent, a triumphant smirk appearing on his lips as red riot pulls his friend away before it’s too late.

“dude, you can’t just go blowing people up!” the red head scolds beneath bakugou’s sailor mouth, wrestling him over to the couch.

katsuki feels defeated, there’s no way to get out of this situation. he’s done his best these last few years to avoid you like the plague. it was somewhat easy, considering you were lower in the ranks compared to him, so there wasn’t much time to interact anyway. but katsuki hated the fact that he had always thought you would fall below him.

nonetheless; he took to switching event time tables around, rejecting hang outs with his old high school friends... all to avoid you, and now that he had to see you face to face, he wasn’t sure how to react. would you still hate him? how did you feel about working with him?

there’s not much time to dwell on the thought for kirishima is already patting his back and guiding him out of the meeting as it ends, the promise of drinks at an ‘heroes only bar’ hanging in the air.

“you’re so handsome, ground zero ! thank you for protecting japan !”

bakugou can feel the bile rising in the back of his throat at the words from the sickly sweet fan, so he gives a nonchalant grunt in response as he finishes up his signature on her notebook before continuing his march to your hero agency. it’s been a few days since the meeting between the pro heroes and all the number three wants is to make it to your agency without being fawned over by more obsessive fans.

he gives the fan a casual wave, ignoring the look of disappointment on her face— either she was expecting his number or for him to grow bashful under her flurry of compliments but katsuki was never one for fan service.

he hated fans that expected something from him, ones who wanted more than a casual chat with their favourite pro hero but he wouldn’t let them in. they didn’t want the intimate, vulnerable sides of katsuki bakugou like you had— maybe that made the ash blonde stuck on you.

yn ln was the only girl in his life who had tried to understand the many layers of the hot headed hero, you saw past his aggressive nature and touched the deepest parts of his soul…parts that you longed to love and keep safe.

you’d loved him for who he was below the surface, not for the money and fame he had come to amass as number three in the ranks.

behind scarlet eyes are the best moments of the hero’s life, each shared with you. katsuki had took for granted the seconds you had been with him, even from the very start— he didn’t care for the way that you held him after he’d been kidnapped, clinging onto him like he’d disappear or would never return to your arms, he should have cherished the tears of worry you shed for him too but katsuki was too prideful at the time.

too full of himself even with his raging nightmares that you had managed to soothe.

you’d comforted him after he’d failed the licensing exams, promised him he’d still get to be the greatest hero of all time and still, bakugou had cared for none of this. now that he’d thought about it, he hadn’t been good to you, he didn’t know how you’d dealt with they way he undermined your quirk and doubted your ability to protect him when he should have been the one to protect you.

your love was wasted on him, and for that bakugou needed to apologise.

hands in his pockets, katsuki’s mind could have been said to be away with the fairies, haunted by the night he came home with a half hearted apology on his lips to an empty apartment and a note from you. something about staying with the icyhot bastard and not to contact you.

that is until he collided with the back of someone in the crowd. “hey!” he’s quick to growl out to the figure, a slight snarl to the words leaving his mouth. “watch where you’re going, shitty extra—“

“ah, katsuki! nice to see you haven’t changed,” your voice sends shivers down the blonde’s spine, bright red eyes focusing on you and only you. your smile is bright, dazzling under the hot japan sun and even if katsuki hadn’t changed, you certainly had— your pretty eyes he used to get lost in, he used to watch glimmer with tears now hold a different kind of light, they greyish hue that dulled you over your time with him had finally cleared.

you looked healthy, happier and bakugou realises how much your relationship must’ve wore you down.

he feels like he doesn’t deserve the grin that you give him; the one you would save just for him in the early mornings you’d spent together back when you were dating. maybe that makes his heart jumps out of his chest.

“y-yn— “

he hadn’t prepared himself for your sweet, airy giggle that fills the space between you. “ground zero getting shy on me now? don’t tell me you forgot about our shift today, did’ya?”

“n-no, ‘course not, dumbass.” fuck, katsuki’s heart thumps against his ribcage so loud that he’s afraid you might hear it with the little distance between you. since when did you make him nervous? despite the pet name, you still give him a laugh as a flicker of fondness twinges in your bright eyes.

it’s quickly replaced when you blink it away, beckoning ground zero into your hero offices. “nice to see that sailor’s mouth hasn’t changed either ,” you mumble more so to yourself than him. bakugou walks a few paces behind you while you explain to him that you have to finish assigning your sidekicks and interns a few low level missions before you can head off for the day.

the group of young heroes are excitable, seemingly loving the opportunity to work with you— their chatter is loud but it gives katsuki time to drink you in.

crimson eyes travel over your form while you talk— your hero costume has changed a lot since your U.A and sidekick days.

you’d interned under the number two at the time, hawks, thus leading you to have become one of his most trusted sidekicks. no doubt; his skill level had not only improved your abilities, how you controlled your quirk but your costume as well.

your quirk was known as lullaby, if you could sing a tune in the right pitch to certain groups of people, it allowed you control over the abilities and to put them to sleep. this obviously however meant you were poor at short distance attacks— something bakugou always teased you for, so he was excited to see how you’d improved.

your suit had a visor that allowed you to amplify your quirk, while patterns of the night sky dressed your body— paying homage to your hero name ‘nightsky’.

katsuki felt bad to imprinting the image of your skin tight, midnight blue suit into his mind but back when he had known you like you were his, your costume hadn’t been nearly as advanced as this.

snapping fingers pull him from his thoughts before they can get too hazy.

“eyes are up here, explosion boy.”

katsuki’s gaze snaps up to meet yours, an angry red to rival his gemstone eyes spreading like wildfire across his cheeks. “i wasn’t staring.” he tries his best to defend himself, but your knowing look tells him that you’ve caught him red handed.

“of course you weren’t, sidekicks left about ten minutes ago so we can head out now—unless you want to keep glaring daggers at my boobs, katsu.” you’re teasing him, voice dripping like honey off of a spoon as you waltz back out onto the streets of japan and leave a bewildered ground zero behind you.

you’ve changed so much since your relationship ended with bakugou, you’re stronger, a vixen and more confident in yourself.

and he hates knowing that he’s the one that kept you down all this time.

patrol remains uneventful even as the afternoon goes on and the stress of japan begin to fill with citizens for the oncoming rush hour.

the lack of action has lead your conversation to die within the wind and leaves katsuki alone with his thoughts for the time being— you only really speak when you catch the blonde staring you down or when he accidentally walks into something ( highly unusual for him ) but he enjoys the seconds where your teasing voice tickles the tips of his ears and you smile so wide his own lips pull into somewhat of a grin.

bakugou doesn’t know why he’s so quiet, not when the storm in his mind brews all the words he should have said to you years ago. the apologies, the grateful thanks that you deserved; none of these could fall from his tongue.

he liked to say he never had the opportunity, which was partly true you were both up and coming herores yes, but you had damn well made sure you’d never have to encounter bakugou unless the situation required it. and it seemed, that years down the line, he was still doing the same.

the thought alone cause nerves to choke him from the inside out, building up in his throat until all he can do is grunt in frustration— kicking an empty can along the road you’re currently walking down.

“that’s unlike you,” your chuckle cuts through the thick fog of katsuki’s mind, drawing deep red eyes towards your frame. you walk in front of him now, arms folded behind your head while you step backwards— the sight almost comical to anyone passing by. bakugou must look just as shocked because some how he manages to pull the cutest snort from you, even as his face morphs into a snarl and he marches forward to fall into pace with your steps. your eyes dazzle with your next words. “the great katsuki bakugou, quiet? never thought i’d see the day.”

you’ve always been able to read him like an open book, seeing right through the front he puts on. “i haven’t changed.” he grunts through his teeth.

katsuki stops walking when you do, now standing a breaths width away from you. electricity jumps between you both, static forming in the finger tips that just barely brush against bakugou’s arm.

your eyes spell it out for him, clear as day, as you finally reach out to touch him. His own close at the brief gesture, the pain from having lost you blooming across his chest.

“you did.” you breathe out, the warmth of your soft voice making katsuki’s eyes screw shut.

he could never get a lie past you.

“we both did.”

vermillion eyes open, trying to seek you out in the light of the day as bakugou wills and prays that he can say what he needs to right now, to get you back but he doesn’t have the chance as an explosion cuts through the building on your left.

bakugou manages to wrap his arms around you, shielding you from the blast before you hit the ground. the impulse sends you both rolling down the street, small grunts escaping you until you roll to a halt and end up on top of katsuki— straddling him.

dust and debris surrounds the pair of you, creating a thick smog in the air as sirens and screams sound off in the distance. the explosive hero groans in pain— no doubt with a litter of bruises forming under his suit but he has no time to register the sting properly before he’s noticing you on top of him, smirk on your face, devilish glint to your eye.

you’ve been waiting for some action all day.

you’re gone in the blink of an eye, so you must have a plan. katsuki remembers from high school that you made up for strategy where you once lacked in strength, so it’s no surprise to him that you’re already on the move. meanwhile; you manage to slide undetected through the smoke, moving fast to take out the low level criminals.

it’s only a robbery, but the explosion could have caused more casualties than you would have liked. you trust that bakugou can take care of the civilians and bring them out of harms way as you do your best o sus out the ringleader.

the grey tinted fog that sweeps over the area allows you both to work quickly; neither of you need to say anything, for one it would give away your position and secondly— there’s an underlying trust in one another that the two of you had built up when you worked together while dating.

bakugou, through his end, tackles down the small group of criminals after clearing the area and making sure no one was hurt. emergency services had been alerted and were already on their way, all there was now, was to predict your next movements and follow your lead. he’d never liked being bossed about, but the look in your eye made him believe you knew what you were doing.

you were right, you’d both changed. you might as well have been a better hero than him.

the ash blonde follows the trail of unconscious wannabe villains to your whereabouts, he only knows that they’re unconscious because of your ability to put people to sleep with your quirk— all you had to do was get close to them, which wouldn’t have been hard as katsuki knew first hand that these guys’ quirks weren’t shit.

“it’s almost funny, how you thought you could pull a stunt like this on a day when all of japan’s biggest heroes are in one place,” bakugou’s ears pick up on you teasing the criminal leader with that smooth chocolate voice and he follows it deeper into the air that’s heavy with debris— glad you were able to find him before the smoke cleared. “even with the number one out of town, tsk, you should have known better…”

the hot headed pro spots you, holding the hooded ringleader in a choke hold with only your thighs as you sit on his shoulders— eyes wide with victory.

he recognises the dip in your voice as you adjust your tone to put the guy to sleep and call it a day. you’re powerful, a great pro and bakugou watches with awe while you get ready to take this guy down once and for all.

“so cocky, nightsky— why do you think we chose attack the street you were on?” the guy spits through clenched teeth, resisting the urge to succumb to your lullaby of a voice.

brows furrowing, you decide not to dwell on the criminal’s words before leaning down to whisper. “sleep...” but katsuki’s body comes alive with fear as the villain wannabe jams a blade into your thigh, causing your grip on him to loosen enough for him to throw you to the floor and put a boot to your throat. “oh miss nightsky, you really rely too much on your quirk and not enough on your senses. hmm, i think it’s time we say goodnight, don’t you?” the guy chuckles while you squirm under his foot— the need for air burning sharply at your lungs.

bakugou, who’s remained hidden this entire time feels himself snap— a heavy explosion loading up behind his gauntlets while he launches himself right into the scene. he won’t let you struggle for your life, not on his watch. “GET YOUR FILTHY FUCKIN’ HANDS OFF OF HER!”

he reaches the criminal just before your eyes roll back into your head, an explosive right hook colliding with their cheek and sending them flying down the street.

the ash blonde reaches down to pull you up into his chest, that very same one heaving with laboured breaths; you’re shaking but it’s nothing you can’t handle even with the red lines at your throat.

“you good?”

“better, thanks to you.”

there’s a look that you wear right now, one that katsuki recognises from years of training and running into fights with you— you want to do the move. he nods at you, vermillion eyes lighting up with a bright fire while you grip onto ground zero’s wrists.

just as the villain stands, you kick your feet off the ground and in the meantime bakugou begins to twirl you in circular motions until you’ve built up enough momentum for him to throw you towards the criminal.

you collide with his back foot first, knocking him to the ground as your eyes glow a bright white. “i said, go the fuck to sleep.”

the criminal drops to sleep and you roll to the ground after taking him out. you smile to yourself at the familiar wail of sirens in the background but don’t bother to make an effort to stand up, letting the exhaustion, pain from the wound in your thigh and bruises at your neck finally flood your body.

sitting beside you, bakugou smirks and holds a fist out to you. “still got it,” he gestures between the pair of you, the same signature move you’ve been doing since high school having worked successfully once again.

“still got it.” you look up to the now clear sky, fist bumping bakugou right back.

he’s going to do it, he thinks, he’s going to apologise.

after everything you and bakugou had been through, something in his chest was relieved to know that you didn’t hate him, something in him is lead to believe that you’re going to give him another chance.

katsuki watches you now, an attendant from the paramedics that you called working on patching up the gash in your thigh while you rub a salve into your neck.

despite the pain you must be in; you’re still glowing, still smiling even when fans ask you for autographs or tell you how brave you were during the fight. you’re so genuine, such a ray of sunshine in the world and bakugou can feel himself falling for you all over again.

“Is that all mr. ground zero, sir?” an officer asks, taking down notes for the report about the incident. the hero nods, waving the kid off after giving them all of the details from today. they thank him and he finds himself marching over to you almost immediately, now that you’re all bandaged up.

“walking already, ln? are you sure it doesn’t hurt?”

you beam up at the ash blonde, hopping out of the back of the ambulance and rubbing at the tear in your hero costume where the cut is. “it’s good, stings a little but i’ve seen worse on you,” you comment to him, beginning your stride back to your agency.

“and who’s fault is that, dumbass?” a genuine laughter bubbles in bakugou’s throat, albeit raspy, its not a foreign sound to your ears and it makes you laugh along with him.

he knows you’re referencing the many times you’d kicked hiss ass when sparring from high school to your side kick days. back then you‘d have traced every scar that littered his pretty body and told him how much you loved him.

katsuki aids you while you head back to the nightsky agency, you insist that you don’t need help to walk but you’re limping and the explosive pro hero is stubborn as hell— he’s not about to let you get hurt again, even if its physically and not mentally like he had done to you before.

with the lighter mood, memories flitter between you both— you mention how katsuki used to love his food so spicy you would cry and he brings up the time you had given him and kirishima a bout of food poisoning when you’d come up with an alternative to the latter’s cooking. the stories don’t seem to end even as you lean into him more; trusting him again.

“about what i said earlier…” you begin after finally coming to a halt outside your agency building, a scarlet gaze full of fondness lands on you. you turn to face him with the softest of smiles, half chewing on your bottom lip— something he knew you did when you were nervous. “you’re different, to how…how you were back then and it’s good, katsuki you’re so good…”

there’s a breath of silence, only filled by the quiet hum of city traffic where people are travelling to and from home. “i’m glad i had time to become good,” bakugou offers, forgoing the words ‘for you’ and pausing instead. “i regret who i was back then, with you… thought it made you hate me and that you wouldn’t fuckin’ work with me today.”

you shake your head, breaking contact with bakugou to paw at the stupid tears preparing to make their way down your cheeks. “i-i did hate you for a while, after everything…but we were young and dumb and—“ you freeze as the ash blonde wipes a stray tear from your cheek, you not having realised that it’d escaped. “and i’m so thankful to have met you, to have shared a love with you, you taught me so much and that i could never hate you for.”

“yn...i—“ i love you. i’m sorry. i should have loved you better. the words are there, the ones that katsuki always told himself he would say to you if he had the chance but he finds himself frozen and unable to speak. why? why now? when the perfect chance sat right in front of him, the perfect time for him to make it up to you.

to start over.

“yes, katsuki?”

to get you back.

“yn i’m sorry—“

“—guess who?”

a sing song voice full of positivity bursts through the moment while a pair of hands clasp their way over your pretty eyes and hide them away from the world.

bakugou instantly recognises the voice as belonging to none other than his childhood rival and number one pro hero, deku. he seems to have changed— grown taller, green hair shaved at the sides for an undercut.

the ash blonde isn’t very sure what else has changed, but then again they hadn’t seen much of each other as sidekicks, working under different agencies with different missions.

it was only as they started competing for the top ranks that they started to run the same circles— but bakugou had no idea how you would’ve come to know deku since the blonde hated him and you were dating each other for most of that time.

katsuki is just about to tell the green haired idiot to ‘fuck the fuck off’ for ruining his moment when you do the unexpected.

you clasp your hands over midoriya’s, cheeky smile gracing your lips as you attempt to pull them away from your face. “let me think, could it be? izuku midoriya?” relenting to your cheery voice— deku pulls away from you, hands falling to grip your waist sweetly. possesively. horror flashes behind bakugou’s raging red eyes. you turn in his rival’s strong arms, smiling so hard that it delves deep into the apples of your cheeks. “izu ! when did you get back? i thought you wouldn’t make it in time for today…”

“flew in this morning doll, i wanted to surprise you—“ the number one beams down at you and bakugou’s world crumbles when you cut him off while pressing a chaste kiss to deku’s lips right in front of his eyes.

this couldn’t be happening...since when were you and the damn nerd a thing? why didn’t he realise? why didn’t he grow up and try and get you back sooner?

he has no choice but to sit and stare, a dark cloud now sitting over his shattered heart.

all the while, you’re giggling into deku’s lips, fumbling over his hands that pinch at your sides just to get you to gasp enough for him to kiss you more. the painful ( well, only for the explosive pro ) lip lock ends when you both come up for air and your eyes land on your ex boyfriend.

“ah, katsuki ! you remember deku right? wait that’s a dumb question you were literally childhood friends—“ you start to ramble, mind getting away from you and katsuki barely registers anything that leaves your lips. his crimson eyes lock with the emerald ones that stare right back at him and hurt swells in his chest.

to deku, he must look like a kicked puppy. a weakling. a loser.

all the things he had labelled izuku midoriya when they were kids.

when bakugou tunes back into your excited rambling, his heart cracks even more in his chest. “this green giant flew all the way in from overseas to come home for wedding planning ! can you believe it?” the answer to your question is an obvious no.

he had no idea that you had been seeing the number one, let alone being engaged to him. the hot headed hero freezes in his spot when you reach down the chest of your hero costume to pull out a silver necklace.

on the end of it, an engagement ring with a tiny emerald in it’s centre.

katsuki bakugou feels sick, bile rising up in his throat. he’d really lost you. really. “...pretty thing that is, congratulations.” he mentions blankly, eyes trained on midoriya once again. you don’t notice, but deku does and bakugou hates the sympathetic, apologetic look that the fucking nerd gives him.

“mhm ! izu put it on a necklace for me because, well you know, i’m clumsy and didn’t want to lose the thing,”

you’re so clueless that it hurts, burning katsuki from the inside out. that should be him. it should be his arms around you, his lips on yours, his engagement ring on that fucking necklace. not deku’s, not anyone’s. the green headed hero beside you seems to notice the distress ebbing away at your ex and tilts your head up to look at him. “doll, why don’t you head inside and change into something more comfy real quick? we’ve got cake tasting in an hour…”

the tail end of deku’s words are drowned out by your happily animated squeal and with a quick nod you press a kiss to his freckled cheek and bounce inside— missing the way bakugou winces at your display of affection.

it’s quiet despite the bustling sounds of the city but neither if them know what to say, even as the minutes pass.

bakugou knows that you’d be better off with deku, he would treat you right and give you the love that you deserved all along. but that didn’t make it any less painful.

“kacchan, look...“ the number one says eventually, green eyes swirling with guilt. “i’m sorry—“

the blonde shakes his head, spitting his words out through gritted teeth. “don’t...just,” fuck, it hurts to breathe. “just…take care of her for me, you got that deku?”

“yeah, of course…”

the pair of childhood rivals don’t have much time to speak after that, for you’re already bounding out of your agency wearing a comfortable mint green summer dress and pair of red sneakers to rival deku’s, despite the thick bandage to your thigh.

“ready to go?” you ask your fiancé, face as warm and as bright as it had once been when you used to look at bakugou. izuku nods, delight dancing in his eyes despite the nervous chew to his bottom lip, before letting you turn to your ex lover. “great ! well, see you around kasuki, don’t be a stranger ! we’ve got to catch up again sometime, alright?”

you link arms with izuku midoriya, your fiancé, after that—walking away and leaving ground zero in the dust.

he doesn’t know how long he stands there for, heart in his hands even while he comes to the realisation that you hadn’t gone to todoroki that night when you’d left. no, you’d only told him that so it hurt a little less when he found out midoriya had been the one to look after you. you’d lied because you’d loved him.

you lie because you love him.

and it was only now that katsuki bakugou had realised what he’d lost.

3K notes · View notes

sugalaritae · 2 years

Text

starstruck pt. 4 (kth & myg)

pairing: taehyung x yoongi, taehyung x plus-sized-reader (f), yoongi x plus-sized reader (f)

genre(s): angst, a bit of fluff

au(s): non-idol, university au, f2l

word count: 9.6k

rating: 18+

chapter summary: it's a few months before you and taehyung meet at the gym when taehyung had confidence in himself. taehyung didn't want to go to the party but when his best friend and roommate, jungkook, insisted and gave him two shots to start off his night, he goes. the night is spent a little too drunk until he finally starts to sober up and sees someone he wants to kiss. in the present you are spending your afternoon texting the cute barista, flirting and getting to know each other, when yoongi invites you over you're expecting a fun and relaxed evening until a confession.

warnings: a lot of drinking, taehyung is VERY drunk, peer pressure, talk about miscommunication with consent, mentions of drunk sex/making out, yoongi is an asshole, LOTS of insecurities, parties, drugs (weed), taehyung gets angry with jungkook, tae feels humiliated, lots of time jumps, kissing, making out, someone has a hard time avoiding looking at breasts

author’s note: hellooooo!! i'm so excited for this chapter to be released. it took longer than i wanted mainly because i thought i had lost steam for it but then everything came rushing back and i couldn't stop writing. thank you for all the support for this. it means a lot to me. everything is about to get more complicated, more angsty, fluffy, and smutty!! so, welcome to the chaos! thank you so much to the incredible @taetaesbaebaepsae who is an AMAZING beta!! and thank you to @introlxv for the banner!!!

tag list: @halesandy @kookthief © sugalaritae, 2022. you do not have any permission to repost or translate my work even if you give credit. all of this is mine.

TAEHYUNG - A few months earlier

The music could be heard as soon as he got out of the car. His head was already swimming with the alcohol that Jungkook had poured down him to loosen him up for the party. It wasn’t that he didn’t like parties, he loved being around people, it was this night. Something in him wasn’t in the mood to be around so many people he didn’t know. He wanted to stay at home and talk with all his friends, but instead Jungkook insisted that he come with him so that he wasn’t alone on a Friday night. Tae didn’t know what was so special about a Friday night that made everyone think they needed to celebrate the work week ending. Most people he knew worked through the weekend, especially since they went to school during the week. There wasn’t anything special about any Friday night and especially not this Friday night.

Jungkook had poured him two shots and insisted that he down them fast.

“Dude, the party started over an hour ago and when we get there everyone is going to already be drunk, so we need to catch up.”

Taehyung hated how easily he gave into peer pressure, especially when Jungkook was involved. That was the downside of their friendship, not to mention the fact that Tae was horrible at saying no to anything when kook gave him an arched eyebrow and that stupid lopsided grin that was filled with mischief and a child’s curiosity. It was a look that Tae had never seen in anyone except Jungkook, and he hoped to keep it that way because if there were any more of them then he would be royally fucked.

The car ride had been dizzying as the alcohol settled in his system and seemed to take over his brain. He didn’t like returning to the university that he had been forced to drop out of. All that money he had saved up, the scholarships that he had worked so hard for gone to waste; but nowhere else in town that had parties like this and so, he often found himself accompanying his friend to campus parties.

His mind snapped awake as he felt Jungkook’s hands slap his shoulders as he pressed his body against Taehyung for a moment before he moved beside him and kept one hand on his shoulder. Taehyung looked at the hand pressed into his shirt, the black ink that decorated Jungkook’s hand made him dizzy and he shook his head to bring himself back.

“Are you ready?” Jungkook asked and Tae laughed with a little shake of his head. “Oh bro! It’s going to be so much fun! We’re going to find incredibly sexy people to make out with, maybe even go home with, and if we don’t find either then we’re just going to have a blast dancing and socializing!” His friend’s voice was full of excitement with an edge to it that Tae guessed was the alcohol.

“And if I don’t like it?” He asked.

Jungkook shook his head, “not going to happen.”

Small groups decorated the front lawn like giant lawn ornaments, he watched all of them talking amongst each other, laughing, and having fun and a realization swept over him. He needed to just relax and have fun. His friend was right, he hadn’t been to a party in a few weeks, and he couldn’t remember the last time that he had been kissed by someone, so this needed to happen. As usual Jungkook was right, and he was glad that he came.

______

Taehyung [14:05]: How was class?

You [14:06]: Boring. Review class that the prof likes to have before each exam. It’s always just the same people asking questions that have been discussed already.

Taehyung [14:06]: Perhaps they didn’t understand it the first time it was discussed or weren’t there that day.

You [14:06]: You make a very good point.

Taehyung [14:08]: I really hope you don’t get used to those happening

You [14:08]: I seem like the kind of guy that would amazing points all the time

Teahyung [14:09]: I should keep making you think amazing points then. So, you agree to a second date

You [14:10]: We haven’t gone on a first date yet

Teahyung [14:10]: I’m being proactive

Taehyung [14:10]: Either that or I am just leading you to disappointment when you realize that I rarely have good points let alone “amazing” points

You [14:11]: I really doubt that is true. You’re being hard on yourself.

You [14:11]: And I don’t need amazing points all the time. Once in a while is enough for me. Especially when they make me reconsider how judgmental i can be.

Taehyung [14:12]: I don’t think you were being judgmental. It’s easy to be annoyed in those kinds of classes when certain people dominate.

Taehyung [14:12]: i’ve been the person who couldn’t attend all the classes and had to ask the questions in the review classes.

You [14:12]: I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to be so inconsiderate

Taehyung [14:13]: You really don’t have to worry about it, and you don’t have to apologize.

______

The room was thick with sweat and smoke that lingered with the lack of air movement. Taehyung felt like he was swimming through the bodies and energy, or perhaps that was just his head. The shots taken at the apartment had settled somewhere in the back of his brain and that was before the two red cups full of cheap beer were swallowed in a quick hurry to catch up to Jungkook, who was nowhere to be found.

He should have suspected something like this would happen. He loved his friend but whenever Jungkook dragged him out under the promise to get him laid, it was always Jungkook that took a woman home. There had been times when he had woken up with someone in his bed, but those moments were few and far between.

It wasn’t that he was shy or nervous, he could pull just as much as his friends could, he just preferred to have something more than a one-night stand with someone where the only connection was that they both thought they were hot.

That is, unless he had enough booze in him and he was reaching that limit.

He spotted Jungkook talking to a friend. The two men sat close together. The booze was making it difficult to remember the friend’s name. Or maybe it was the pink hair that was throwing him, he couldn’t remember the last time that he had seen him, but it had to have been recently.

He racked his brain for where they had met and then it had clicked in as the older man laughed. That laugh would shock anyone no matter how much booze or drugs they had consumed - Hobi. He looked more relaxed than he had been when taehyung had first met him. The night of a dance recital if he could remember correctly, or perhaps it was the yoga class that Jungkook had dragged him to.

God! He had drunk too much.

He collapsed on the sofa next to Jungkook, the room spun. His eyes slammed shut to stop the world from moving faster than it needed to and let his head fall against his friend’s shoulder.

He heard Jungkook laugh.

“Fuck dude, you okay?”

______

Yoongi [14:45]: I haven’t seen you in a few days and I miss your face

You [14:46]: Just my face?

Yoongi [14:46]: Yup. No need to bring any other part of you.

You [14:47]: Creepy

Yoongi [14:50]: How do we remedy my missing you?

You [14:51]: You only miss my face and I really don’t think I want to part with it. I could make you a mask, so like can you keep missing my face for another week or two?

Yoongi [14:53]: If I have to…

Yoongi [14:53]: I miss all of you.

Yoongi [14:54]: Have you been avoiding me?

You [14:55]: No!! I miss you too. I’ve just been so busy with school and work!!

Yoongi [14:55]: I thought I had done something wrong

You [14:56]: What could you have done that would make me stop talking to you?

Yoongi [14:57]: i’ve been trying to think of a reason!

You [14:57]: You’re ridiculous.

Yoongi [14:57]: This is not the first time that someone has said this to me. So, when do I get to see you? Dinner? Lunch? Study time? I don’t care when or why, I just want to see you

You [14:57]: Wow! Desperate? 😉

Yoongi [14:57]: Maybe a little

You [14:58]: I have a date on Friday so before then?

Yoongi [14:58]: Oh! Guy from the cafe/gym?

You [14:59]: Yeah! He slid into my dms ️

Yoongi [15:00]: Smooth. Available tonight? It’s Jin and i’s night to cook together. You can just sit there, look pretty and study if you need to or you are more than welcome to tell us stories and distract us from cooking.

You [15:00]: Yes!!! What time?

Yoongi [15:04]: Come over anytime! Like I said, I miss all of you and I was going to write today but I’d rather see you

You [15:06]: I’m on my way with drinks

Yoongi [15:06]: Can’t wait

______

“I want to kiss someone,” he heard himself say. Though he still wasn’t entirely sure the words came from him.

He was sitting outside on one of the plastic chairs, a bottle of water in his hands sending a chill through his palms and into his wrists where it suddenly stopped. His head hung like a weight he had been carrying for too long.

“When you sober up a little, we’ll find you someone to kiss,” Jungkook said with a little laugh and a pat on his back that Taehyung was sure was the hardest that he had ever been touched by the other man.

It was a little embarrassing to be in this state. Taehyung didn’t like getting drunk. He hated the way that his body took alcohol. His friends could all drink double what he could without getting as blasted as he usually ended up feeling.

As he sat there, occasionally taking sips of the water and almost always struggling with the cap, he went through the exploration of feelings.

Embarrassed that he was currently surrounded by a group of people that all shared a commonality that he no longer shared, how much of an outsider he felt as the conversations of classes and professors swam in his ears.

Next was self-pity and how pathetic he felt and must have looked as Jungkook patted his back with that beautifully inked hand of his. Then anger shot through the earth and up his spine.

Fuck Jungkook for insisting he take shots before they got to the party. He could have been kissing someone now if he wasn’t hunched over in the backyard like an incredibly pathetic dying animal. No one else was in the state he was in, and he hated it. He felt like his skin was itching and he needed to move and get sober.

He needed to get sober or else he was going to cry.

“Why did you make me take those shots?” He groaned.

Jungkook pushed the bottle as a sign to get him to drink and another groan slipped out of him as if the button to his groans were the bottle in his hand.

“I’m never drinking when you tell me to drink again. Jesus fuck.”

His friend stayed silent, feelings of regret and sadness pushed their way onto Jungkook’s ego and penetrated like a virus. Jungkook just wanted Taehyung to have fun and loosen up a little. He never meant for him to get this bad, but he knows not all the guilt can rest on his shoulders. He’ll take the responsibility for the first two shots but anything that happened after that is Taehyung’s.

Or maybe Jungkook has that wrong. Maybe because he pressed those shots into his friend’s hands, all the embarrassment and anger that Taehyung was feeling now should rest solely on his shoulders.

“Sorry, bro.” Jungkook muttered and sighed. He didn’t like the feeling of disappointing his friends, especially Taehyung. The two of them only really had each other. The problem was that Jungkook didn’t know how to really voice his feelings about that. Sure, he had friends outside of Taehyung and vice versa but no one came close to the relationship that they had, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, knowing he had disappointed and embarrassed Taehyung crushed him just a little.

“We can leave, if you want.”

“What?” Taehyung breathed out, his head shot up too fast and the whoosh of air that tunneled around his ears made his stomach flip.

“I said we can leave, if you want to. I don’t know too many people here anyway, and since you’re not feeling great, we can go back home and rest until you’re feeling better.”

Taehyung shook his head. “Nah, man. I’ll be okay. I just need to throw up or something and then drink a shit ton of water.”

Jungkook nodded. “k.”

______

Taehyung [15:10]: What’s one thing you want to do before the year is out?

You [15:11]: Such a random question!

Taehyung [15:11]: Get used to it. Anyway, these kinds of questions say a lot about a person, and I always feel like it eases the first date a bit when you have a few conversations between the two of you, even if they are just over text.

You [15:12]: It’s been a while since I’ve been on a first date

Taehyung [15:12]: Really?!

You [15:13]: Ya. Surprised?

Taehyung [15:13]: Ya I am

You [15:14]: I hope that’s a good surprised.

Taehyung [15:15]: It is. Just would have thought you’d date a lot

You [15:16]: Thanks?

Taehyung [15:16]: oh! Shit! No like, you’re gorgeous and i just kind of thought there would be a lot of people asking you out

You [15:17]: Thank you 😊 I haven’t really been wanting to date after my last relationship

Taehyung [15:19]: Shitty end or shitty relationship?

You [15:20]: A bit of both

Taehyung [15:21]: Sorry

Taehyung [15:25]: You never answered my question. What’s one thing you would like to do before the year is out?

You [15:27]: I have to think about this!

Taehyung [15:28]: You have two hours. I’ll check in later 😊

______

The world was slowly starting to make sense again. It had stopped spinning and he was feeling a little more like himself again. Enough, at least, to notice the slight frown that his friend was wearing as he sat on the bathroom counter, his legs dangling with small little kicks.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as he shifted on the floor and leaned against the wall.

“I just feel bad for making you drink like this, I know you don’t like to drink, and I basically forced those shots down your throat,” his friend answered.

“It’s all good.”

Jungkook arched an eyebrow as if to ask him really? And Taehyung chuckled a little.

“Yeah man, I’m fine. There’s no beef between us, promise.”

He watched as his friend visibly relaxed. Taehyung’s mouth pinched upward in a half smile as he watched his friend. There really was no one else in this world that understood him quite like Jungkook and while he had been angry with him, everything had disappeared in a swirl down the pipes along with his sick.

“I’m still in the mood to kiss someone,” he said with a laugh hiding under his tone.

He tried not to grin as he watched Jungkook arch an eyebrow and look at him.

“There’s no fucking way I’m kissing you.”

Taehyung’s mouth pulled into a full smile at the earnestness behind Jungkook’s words.

While many thought that the two were a couple with the way that they looked and touched each other, they always disappointed the people who asked. His friend was the straightest person he knew.

“I don’t feel that guilty,” Jungkook shook his head at him as soon as he saw the look on Taehyung’s face and made a happy surprised laugh echo through the small room.

“Any mouthwash?” Taehyung asked and nodded toward the mirrored cabinets that were behind Jungkook’s head.

Jungkook swirled around on the counter, opened one of the doors, and bent at the hip as he tried to peer in for a moment before he closed the cabinet and opened the second one, this time he leaned forward.

“Yup!”

Taehyung pushed himself up off the ground and groaned at the sudden shift. His long fingers gripped the towel wrack and Jungkook put a hand out ready to steady his friend despite the distance between the two.

“You good?”

He nodded and stepped to the counter, opened the mouthwash, and poured a bit into the lid before he shot the liquid back, careful not to touch the plastic to his lips. The mint hit the back of his throat and he gagged a little before he swished the gross (and hot?!) liquid around for a moment. He spat it out and Jungkook shifted away from the sink just in time as some of the bright green mouthwash hit the side of the sink and sprayed onto the counter.

“Sorry.” Taehyung muttered and Jungkook shook his head.

It wasn’t until he looked in the mirror did he realize just how horrible he looked.

“Fuck, man. I look rough.”

Jungkook chuckled and nodded.

He turned on the water and let it run cold before he dipped his hands under it, a sudden shock of sobriety radiated through his palms that quickly disappeared as it battled the alcohol already in his system. He stood like that, the water cooling his system as he listened to Jungkook talk.

“Hobi and I were talking downstairs and I think I’m going to go to one of his dance classes…”

The rest became static as Taehyung paid attention to the sound of the water and then the feel of it against his face as he splashed his hands up to his cheeks. Letting his cold palms stay on his warm cheeks for a moment before he pushed the water down onto his neck and back around until he could feel his hair at the back of his neck.

He shivered as a drop of the cold water slid down his back. He could feel the alcohol lose the battle. Thank god, he would be back to his normal self soon. Or at least his tipsy self.

He was never going to drink again.

______

Yoongi [15:28]: Where you at? If you don’t hurry up I’m going to have to write things

You [15:29]: Would that be so bad?

Yoongi [15:29]: Yes.

You [15:30]: For someone who wants to be a writer full time, you sure don’t like writing…

Yoongi [15:31]: That’s the best thing about being a writer. The absolute torture of it.

You [15:31]: You’re a masochist

Yoongi [15:32]: There are a lot of women and men who would disagree with that statement

You [15:32]: I don’t want to know!

Yoongi [15:33]: You sure?

You [15:33]: 🙄

Yoongi [15:34]: Are you coming over?

You [15:34]: Yes! I thought I had beer at my place but I didn’t, so I had to go and get more. I’m stuck in traffic

Yoongi [15:35]: Good. I mean I could have done without the drinks, we have some here but good!!

You [15:35]: you’re making me food. I’m going to give you drinks

Yoongi [15:35]: I’m not complaining, babe!!

You [15:36]: You better not

______

The guy with dark hair and a bright red bomber jacket hadn’t been at the party before, Taehyung was sure of that. The way that he commanded the room was admirable and Taehyung wished that he could hold the attention of the people around him like that.

He always got lost in the way that people spoke, preferring to watch them than interact unless there were people he knew and then he slipped into the conversation easily.

Fuck. This was why Jungkook had given him the shots. He stayed quiet instead of making conversation with strangers. It wasn’t like he didn’t like making conversation, it was just what he did every day for his job. He met hundreds of new people a day and that, after a while, was exhausting. When you were at a party with friends you only really wanted to talk to the people you knew instead of continuing the torture that was small talk.

Still, this guy, whether he knew the people he was talking to or not, seemed like he would dominate small talk. Either that or he would be quiet, and you would constantly want the attention of him. That was the kind of personality that Taehyung had always wanted but he didn’t know if he came off as confident or shy. He hoped it was the former.

“Who’s the guy Hobi is talking to?” Taehyung asked as Jungkook stepped onto the stair that Taehyung was still standing on, a few steps up from the hardwood floor.

“I have no idea. Seems cool though. I mean Hobi only really knows cool people.” Jungkook nodded proud of himself for that self-compliment. “Why don’t you go and talk to him?” Jungkook asked.

“What?”

“Yeah, I mean you have an in. He’s talking to Hobi and you know Hobi.”

Taehyung shook his head and pushed his hand into the back of his hair and shook it until finally his hand fell against his leg with a small little slap.

“Go. You wanted to kiss someone and maybe he could be that someone.” Jungkook said and pushed his friend off the step only to watch Taehyung trip just a little before he caught himself on the last step and turned to him with a glare.

“Go.” Jungkook urged with a whisper.

Taehyung took a deep breath and stuffed his hands into his pockets as he stepped off the stair. He wondered if he was sober enough for this. Consent was always a thing he worried about in situations like this. Parties were always a mess of confused consent and he never wanted to do anything or put someone in a situation that they would later regret or worse, wouldn’t remember.

He straightened and stepped beside Hobi who looked at him and gave him a wide grin.

“Feeling better?” He asked and Taehyung’s eyes shot open wide, his cheeks burned a little and his gaze shot to the floor for a moment before he looked back up at Hobi and then at the other man.

“Oh yeah, totally. Just needed some water,” he replied with a little laugh.

“good!” Hobi said with a slap on his shoulder and then pointed at the other man, “this is Min Yoongi. Yoongi, Kim Taehyung.”

He held out his hand and smiled as the other man, Yoongi, took it and shook swiftly. He thought he was doing a good job at acting cool, but the other guy didn’t seem super interested, and so he wondered if perhaps it was the booze that was making him think he was being cool when really, he was just a desperate mess trying to drunkenly get into someone’s pants.

“Nice to meet you,” he said as Yoongi let go of his hand and took a sip of his beer.

“Hobi!” Jungkook’s voice called and everyone in the small little group turned.

He was thankful for his friend, knowing just what to do, and acting the perfect wingman when he needed to be.

Hobi turned and was quickly escorted away, Jungkook’s arm slung over his shoulders as he began a conversation about something, Taehyung didn’t quite care what it was about, all his energy went to trying to think of a conversation topic to make Yoongi stay.

It was so easy to think about what to do. The conversations that you could come up with after you met someone new.

He would think of more conversation topics as he lay in bed later that night. He would agonize over what he could have done differently. What he should have done differently. He wouldn’t remember much of the next hour, but what he did remember would stick with him and make him worry that he had been the problem even when Jungkook would tell him that he had done everything right.

Now, he watched as Yoongi downed the drink in his solo cup and looked at him. The look shot shivers through his chest, and he wanted to take a deep breath as if the other looking at him could see through everything.

“I need another drink,” the shorter man said and took a few steps leaving Taehyung to think that he had lost it all. It was all stupid anyway, to be this attracted to someone.

“Are you coming?” The voice shot through the noise of the party and straight into Taehyung’s legs as he nodded more with surprise than in actual agreement.

“I haven’t seen you around before,” Taehyung heard himself say as he caught up to the other man. It was a stupid segue.

Taehyung didn’t really spend much time with the people that Jungkook spent his time with and when he did have free time, he certainly didn’t spend it on a campus that he felt was no longer welcoming to him.

“I could say the same,” Yoongi said as if he could read his mind. Taehyung wondered if the other man was a big partier or if he was like him and was only interested in the parties that his friends were at. The way that he carried himself it could be both.

“I used to spend more time on campus than I do now and I’m not really a party person,” he explained as he ruffled the back of his head again, a nervous habit that was birthed more out of the insecurity that his hair never looked quite the way he wanted it to than out of an urge to keep his hands occupied, though that was a factor.

“Hmm” was all he got back, and Tae wanted to hear more, to know more about this other man.

There was something about him that was both unnerving and exciting. He had thought he had gotten good at reading people after nearly four years of working in the service industry, but there were always the people who surprised him and that was what he loved about meeting new people. It was the small talk that always killed that curiosity. He would rather not get to know a new person than to sit through a few hours of awkward and horribly annoying small talk until both parties were comfortable with the other enough to let some of their walls down.

The booze was helping as the two made their way to the kitchen and he wondered where all the people were. Wasn’t the kitchen usually a hot location at a party like this?

He was okay with it though. It meant that he could have more time with the other man who was currently looking over the collection of bottles on the counter. It was chaos. Bottles without caps, some had cups over the top in replace of a cork or screw top; others were pushed over on the side small amounts of liquid incredibly still in corners of the bottle, others laying in a puddle of their own contents.

He watched as Yoongi chose a bottle of whiskey with a few ounces still left in it. He flicked the top off expertly and nearly emptied the whole contents into the cup he was still carrying around.

“Do you want some?” He asked, holding the bottle up in an offer.

“I think I should stick to water,” he answered, which earned him a little smirk.

“Is that what Hobi meant?”

“What?”

“If you were feeling better? Drink too much?”

Tae nodded with a little laugh. “I would love to blame my friend as he basically poured two shots down my throat before we got here but I can’t. I just can’t hold my liquor.”

Yoongi nodded. “I think that’s better than what the rest of us do.” He said before he took a long sip and leaned against the counter.

“And what is that?” Tae asked as he stepped beside the other man and rested his hand just beside Yoongi’s hip.

“Pretend like we can hold our liquor,” Yoongi answered before taking another sip. Taehyung wondered if he was catching onto a bit of sadness that was sitting on the other man’s forehead like pressure pushing down on his brow.

Maybe that was just the booze talking, he still wasn’t completely sober after all.

“Oh?” He asked as he looked at the cup that Yoongi was drinking from.

He watched, delighted, as the other man followed his gaze and laughed. It was such a good laugh too. Taehyung felt his heartbeat catch in his chest and, this time he allowed himself to take a deep breath.

“But now i can’t tell you that i actually can handle my booze.”

Taehyung shook his head, “no. You royally fucked yourself. No matter how much you tell me that you can, I won’t believe you.”

He watched Yoongi look at him with just one side of his mouth caught up in a smile.

“Too bad.” Yoongi mumbled and Tae watched as the other man’s gaze drifted to his lips for a moment, nerves, and heartbeat loud in his ears. If he needed any confirmation that the other man was interested in this, was it.

Or maybe that was the booze talking again.

______

Taehyung [16:00]: I’ve changed my mind. I want an answer now

You [16:05]: That was only half an hour! I haven’t even thought about an answer yet.

Taehyung [16:06]: I think I’m a little hurt you haven’t.

You [16:06]: Noooo

Taehyung [16:07]: First answer on the top of your head! And then I’ll tell you mine

You [16:08]: Go on a road trip somewhere. I don’t care if it’s only a few hours away, i would just really love to get away

You [16:08]: And go on a date with you

Taehyung [16:09]: You know how to make a man’s heart skip a few extra beats

You [16:09]: You have no idea

Taehyung [16:11]: 😳

You [16:14]: 😌

You [16:14]: What was your answer going to be?

Taehyung [16:20]: There are a few things that I want to do. A road trip sounds really nice so I’m stealing that and adding it to my list

You [16:20]: You’re welcome to

Taehyung [16:23]: The others mostly have to do with school

Taehyung [16:24]: And the incredibly obvious one - take you on more than one date

You [16:25]: You really know how to make a woman’s heart skip a few beats

Taehyung [16:25]: Oh, YOU have no idea.

______

The touch shot through his long fingers, and he was certain that if you looked closely enough the veins would show the movement of the touch as it pushed its way through to his chest until finally, he felt the incredible tightening that always came with first touches.

He didn’t know how he had ended up in a bedroom on the top floor, alone with Yoongi, but there they were. Tae had grabbed the doorknob first and felt the touch on his hand before he felt Yoongi’s body press against his back.

God, he wanted this more than anything else right now. The closeness of another body. He wanted to feel the touch of Yoongi’s lips on his own. He wanted to slip his hands into the jet-black hair of the other man and feel his skin pressed against his own. He felt desperate and needy. His confidence had seesawed with each step they took to climb to the top floor.

His breath caught in his throat and choked him with need as Yoongi turned the handle and pushed him into the room. He didn’t have time to look around, not that he cared that much.

He tripped a little and turned to look at the other man as he shut the door and closed the space between the two of them.

Yoongi’s lips pressed into his and he immediately felt weak in the knees. He had missed this kind of connection!! He wanted more.

He needily tugged at Yoongi’s shirt and slipped the tips of his long fingers through belt loops. He needed him closer.

His heart was in his mouth as Yoongi’s tongue joined his own. The taste of whiskey filled his senses and he felt drunk again.

Then as quickly as it had begun, it ended. Yoongi pulled away.

No, he pushed him away.

Taehyung stumbled back a few steps, his eyes wide as he took the older man in; his chest rose and fell quickly. He expected the man to pull him back again or throw him on the bed. Fuck! He hoped it was the latter.

Instead, he watched Yoongi as he shook his head and chuckled. The cruelty behind the chuckle shocked him and he wanted to close his eyes and disappear from the room.

He watched with a pinched brow as Yoongi raised a single hand and shook his head again.

“No.”

Then he was alone.

Everything moved in a blur. The drunk uncomfortable feeling was back. He wanted out of his skin, and he needed out of his head, and this damned fucking house.

He pushed past people on the stairs as he made his way to the front door, every step agonizing and cruel, tightening his chest with their vicious fingers. Finally, finally he saw the light and pushed past one more person as he opened the door and stumbled out.

“Tae!” He heard Jungkook’s voice call to him, but he couldn’t stop. If he stopped, he would cry and there was no fucking way he was crying in front of all these people. His ego was being humiliated each time Jungkook called after him.

“Dude!” Jungkook pulled his shoulder back. “What the fuck happened?”

“Nothing. I’m going home, are you coming?” He stared at his friend who was looking at him with the widest eyes filled with concern and fear.

“Yeah.”

YOU - present day

“This is what I get when I invite her over for food,” Yoongi teases as he looks at Jin and points to you as you type out a response to Taehyung.

“You’re incredibly boring.” Jin responds before he goes back to cutting the beef in thick slices for grilling.

“I had to answer a text. It’s rude not to answer text messages from potential boyfriends.” You answer and watch as Jin’s lips pinch together as he holds back a smile.

“Potential boyfriend?” Jin asks as he looks at you before he shoots a quick glance to Yoongi.

“She has a date,” Yoongi answers for you with a smirk followed by a wink. A wink that slaps something in your cheeks. You ignore it and shoot him a glare in response.

"I need details.” Jin says without looking up from what he is doing, almost as if he isn’t really interested in the subject matter but was humoring both you and Yoongi.

Or just you?

“Don’t you dare answer for me!” You shoot at Yoongi as you point at him, and he looks down at the cutting board as his mouth moves trying to decide whether to smile or not.

“There isn’t much to tell just yet. We met at the gym and then Yoongi and I ended up at the cafe he works at.” Your phone vibrates, and your gaze shoots to it as you read Taehyung’s text and your cheeks burn with happiness.

“Kismet.” You hear Jin’s voice full of mockery.

“Shut up!” You respond and this time he grins at you.

It was always like this with the three of you.

While you and Yoongi were closer than you and Jin, the relationship was that of slightly estranged siblings. As if you two had always been close but spent years apart and were getting to know each other all over again.

Yoongi had been the one to first point out how quick his roommate and you had instant chemistry. You loved to marvel at the different energies the two men gave off and yet how similar they were.

“I hope it goes well,” Jin says after a while, his tone serious, catching you off guard and you look at him with a little frown.

This was what he always did, and after two years you still weren’t used to the sudden change from goof and annoying big brother to serious and sincere adult.

“I’m serious, you deserve it after everything that Jimin put you through.” The kindness makes your face soften and your smile matches his sincerity.

“Thank you,” you say as you pick at the corner of your phone case suddenly feeling vulnerable.

You didn’t know how much he knew about what had happened between you and your ex-boyfriend, but you assumed that Yoongi had told him the bones of it.

He doesn’t say you’re welcome, instead he gives a little nod and turns his back on you and Yoongi as he carries the meat to the pan to sear.

______

Dinner is slow and relaxed. You are giddy from exchanging text messages with Taehyung, his answers making you smile, and a happy warm feeling builds in your chest as the conversation with Yoongi and Jin mix and mingle with the feeling of the text messages. It is moments like this that make you happy and content.

Slowly, the messages from Taehyung stop and your phone lays abandoned on the wooden coffee table in front of Jin and Yoongi’s sofa.

Occasionally you look at the dark screen that glares and tugs at your brain. You want to keep flirting. You want the attention from the beautiful man with the hands that stay in your mind long after you’ve watched the videos of him pouring lattes.

Eventually Jin says goodnight leaving you and Yoongi alone.

Finally, you pick up your phone and open the text chain with the man that occupies your mind. Your thumbs linger above the keyboard as you think about what you can say. You could tell him about the road trip you had been planning in your head for the last few months or would that be too boring? He seems interested in you and your plans; it was why he had asked what you wanted to accomplish before the year’s end. You could tell him that you still thought about his hands on your shoulders when he caught you at the gym.

You [22:06]: I would like to find out

“It’s weird,” Yoongi’s voice brings you back out of your phone, and you look at him hunched over the coffee table. He is barely sitting on the sofa, just connected with it enough to still be sitting.

Your gaze moves down his arms, the sleeve of his plain white tshirt bunched up around his shoulder and as his hands move you watch the muscles in his bicep flex and relax.

“What is that?” You ask desperate to loosen the tightness in your chest and the heat in your face.

He looks at you. You always liked him like this - relaxed, his face soft, his hair falling in his eyes. His gaze fell from you for a moment and onto the grinder in his hands as he closes the lid and he stares at it as he begins to twist, the soft crunching sound as the green buds are chewed up inside the round canister.

“What?” You ask again, your tone light and a laugh hinted in it. You push your foot against his thigh, and he lets out a breath of air as you notice a very small smile pull at his lips.

“I think I’m a little jealous.” He confesses, his voice low and tired.

“Of what??” You ask, shocked by this confession.

There isn’t really anything in your life that could elicit jealousy from your best friend. Perhaps he means he is jealous of something else, or someone else. Maybe he is talking about her. He tends to do that when it’s just the two of you or late at night, which now was a combination of both.

You want to laugh at the irony as jealousy wells in you at the thought of him being jealous of her. He hasn’t told you much about what had happened when he had run into her outside of their study group. You had pressed him for information, but he had just shrugged and told you that it was okay and that he had done it once and now it was going to be okay.

“You’re fucking impossible,” you groan annoyed that he is taking his time with the rest of his confession.

You want to know. Want to know if it was something about her, maybe she has a new boyfriend. If he is going to talk about her then you want to get it over with because you hate the feeling that always accompanies him pining over her.

“Him.”

You frown trying to think of who he was talking about.

“Jin?” You ask desperate to lighten the mood in case he is talking about her and a new boyfriend. God, you wish he told you more about his life.

He lets out another short and clipped laugh as he shakes his head.

“Then who? You’re really fucking annoying when you do this.” You complain as you open up your phone again desperate to try and distract yourself from this incredibly uncomfortable feeling that is growing in you.

You’ve been having such a good evening too and he has to go and ruin it. Couldn’t he just move on from her so that you both could go on with your lives? You hate seeing him constantly stuck on her. He deserves someone who loves him for who he is.

The women he has fallen in love with since you have known him have only ever cared about the outside. They like the jewelry and clothes he wears, how he carries himself, and how mysterious he is (one of them had even called him that once and it had made you irrationally angry). They never care to get to know him properly. They never care to read the poetry he writes, or even to care enough to know that he writes poetry. They never listen to him when he speaks about a piece of information about some obscure thing that always catches you off guard and makes you wonder what else he is keeping tucked away in that brain of his.

“The kid from the cafe.”

You stop, letting the words settle over you before you slowly move your gaze from your phone to him, only to find him staring at you.

“What?” You ask. The way he is looking at you makes your head swim, and you feel like you need to move but you aren’t sure if you should move away from or toward him.

“Like I said, it’s weird,” he answers.

“But why would you be jealous of him?” Your heart has quickened, and you feel like you can only breathe shallow breaths.

He shrugs and moves his gaze back to what he is busying himself with. He pulls out a thin piece of rolling paper and carefully sprinkles the now ground up herb in the middle. You watch his hands. You have touched those hands before, have held his hands, he has touched you with those hands, cupped your face and wiped away tears with those fingers, but you hadn’t ever really noticed how beautiful they are.

“I think because the last time you had a boyfriend I rarely saw you and I’ve really been enjoying the time that we’ve been spending together.” His voice is low; heavy, and it covers your body like a warm blanket.

“The last time I had a boyfriend you also had a girlfriend, and you spent a lot of time with her.” You shoot back quickly, your own jealousy evident and you wonder if he can pick up on that.

Your words seem to have no effect on him until finally he nods.

“Just don’t want to lose you, Trin.” He says softly and looks at you with that gaze again.

Has he ever looked at you like that? You shiver.

“You mean a lot to me and I think you deserve the world, and this little barista boy doesn’t seem like he could give you what you need.”

“And what is it that I need?” You ask as you pull your arms to your chest and cross them. The confusion and anger at his presumption making you feel like you need to protect yourself.

“You’re amazing, Trin. Like fucking incredible and you deserve to have someone who sees that. Who loves you for everything that you have to offer. This kid sees you in a gym a couple of times and asks you out? That seems sus to me, like -”

“Like what? Some guy can’t be attracted to me when I’m at the gym?” You cut him off.

He scoffs and you watch as his jaw tenses. “You know that isn’t what I meant.”

It must have been the look you give him that told him he needs to explain further or else you are leaving, because he does just that but not before his mouth opens and closes three times as if he is deciding just exactly what to say to start off his explanation.

“You’ve told me about the guys at the gym, that’s all,” he pauses and takes a deep breath before he continues. “You deserve someone who sees you for everything. You’re fucking beautiful so don’t give me that look. You know I think you’re gorgeous. I just…” he pauses again, and for a moment you think that he’s just going to stop, but instead he sighs. “I want you to have someone who sees you for all the beauty you have. You’re breathtaking when you enter a room and then when you talk about something you’re passionate about or fuck, just when you’re talking about something stupid, you’re perfect and it’s wonderful… you’re wonderful,” he finishes with a little shrug. “I don’t know.”

You sit there and take a deep breath. You run through possible sentences to say back to him but as you try to think of more your mind slowly allows all words to slowly slip away from you and instead the two of you sit in silence.

He rolls the joint and you watch as he licks the paper to seal it. Your gaze is locked on his lips and mouth before he hands you the joint without looking at you.

“Here.”

“Thanks.”

You take the joint and then lighter. The paper begins to feel wet between your lips as you hold the join there for a moment and then slowly you take it out and look at him.

“I love you,” you say softly as you held the joint between your index and middle finger. You slowly let your gaze fall on his face. He is beautiful in this low light, and you move to sit beside him, your thighs touching as you rest your head on his shoulder.

“I love you too,” he whispers, giving you the rare gift, as he wraps his arm around you and pulls you tighter to him.

YOONGI - present day

He sits against the back of the sofa, sinking into it as he rests, legs stretched out and feet on the coffee table. Your head rests in his lap, a position you have fallen asleep in countless times, and nothing should feel different or be different now.

And yet it is.

He is having a hard time concentrating on what is on the screen and you in his lap. This isn’t supposed to be how he is feeling toward you. He wants desperately to look down at you and to admire your sleeping beauty. His arm rests along the back of the sofa but as he slowly tears his gaze from the moving figures of your favorite actors and to you, his arm falls slightly, and he lifts the small, knitted blanket you bought him and pulls it up your arm.

His face softens as he looks at you. Your body moving with each soft breath that slips in and out of your body. Your face relaxed, your lips slightly parted, and without thinking he moves his hand to your hair and slowly begins to, gently, move your hair out of your face. The tips of his fingers grazing your soft and red cheek.

A moan slips out of you and plunges deep into his chest.

Fuck.

What the hell were you doing to him?

His hand stills as your eyes slowly open and you shift in his lap to look up at him, he smiles at you.

“Want to sleep over?” He asks.

“Can I?” You ask in return, and he nods.

“I’ll take the couch, you can have my bed.” He says as he moves his fingers into your hair again and then let his hand drop away from you as you sit up and rub at your eyes.

“Do you have some clothes i can sleep in?” The question takes him by surprise, but he nods.

It isn’t a strange request, you have slept in his clothes before, but everything is feeling strange and new to him tonight.

He pushes himself up off the sofa, picks up the remote and switches off the tv, and begins the walk down the hall to his bedroom. He can hear Jin’s light snoring from behind his friend’s closed door and he lets out a little chuckle as he pushes his hand into his hair and moves to his room.

His brain feels heavy, and he knows that it is probably the weed that you and he had smoked only an hour earlier but still there is something else there, something that is making him want to shake out.

He knows you are in the doorway when he pulls out a tshirt and a pair of clean boxers from his dresser.

“these, okay?” He asks as he holds them out to you.

You nod and take them silently.

He sits on the edge of the bed as you disappear into the washroom, his head falls into his hands as he rests his elbows against his thighs and sighs. What was making everything feel so different? Was it only because you were going on a date with someone after all these months of it just being the two of you? But it hadn’t just been the two of you, he has filled his time that isn’t spent with you or classes with different women and you have never expressed jealousy when he tells you that he was going out. Sure, you have threatened when you had found out that he had led a few of them on, and oh! Maybe that is when it all started. The thought of not having you in his life scares him.

“You don’t have to sleep on the couch,” your voice breaks his thoughts, and he looks up at you standing in the darkened doorway. The way his shirt clings to parts of your body has his head swimming. He needs to pull himself together, so he doesn’t lose himself and look at your chest, but fuck! Your breasts look amazing in his shirt.

“No?” He asks and you shake your head.

“I’ll go and change.”

He pulls another shirt and a pair of pajama pants from his dresser before leaving you alone in his room. You haven’t been in his room like this before. When you have slept over, which you have done so many times before, he has always taken the couch, so what makes tonight different?

A terrible thought breaks him as he thinks maybe you are just humoring him, making him feel better about confessing his jealousy.

He stares at his reflection as he pulls his sweater off and turns on the water and leans down. The cold water he splashes on his face is refreshing and just exactly what he needs to pull himself out of this.

He throws his clothes on the floor of his bedroom as he closes the door and smiles at you settled in his bed. You have turned off the lights and have turned on the light on his bedside table. The room feels gentle, soft, like you, as you lay in his bed. He wonders if you are feeling the energy or if it’s just him. Maybe it is just the weed. It has to be because this is all ridiculous.

You watch him as he moves around to the other side of the bed and slips in. He clears his throat and shoots you a smile. Your face looks so beautiful with the soft light from his bedside lamp.

“What?” You ask, your voice soft and peaceful.

“Nothing.” He feels his voice catch in his throat and he hopes you haven’t noticed. He pulls himself up to turn off the light and he takes a deep breath trying to catch himself and as he settles back into the now dark bed. You roll onto your side and move in the bed against him. He freezes as he grabs his arm and wrap it around your body, tugging him onto his side.

“I like to be the little spoon,” you mumble, and he takes a deep breath.

“I usually like to be the little spoon but I’ll give this to you this one time,” he jokes, giving you a half truth, and you laugh softly.

Your breathing changes and he can feel your heartbeat against his arm, each beat pumps against his veins and slowly your bodies are in sync. The two of you lay there in silence. He feels content. You still in his arms and he thinks you have fallen asleep before his chest tightens as you shift and roll over to look at him.

He doesn’t know where to look. How is it that you look so beautiful in the dark?

His gaze settles on your eyes just in time to watch your gaze shift to his lips and without thinking he closes the space between the two of you. His lips finding yours in the dark swiftly and easily.

It is soft. Your lips feel perfect against his, but you aren’t kissing him back, and so he slowly pulls back only for you to push against him. His chest pounds as he slips his hand against your cheek and shifts, deepening the kiss.

He feels like his lungs are already screaming for air and then all thoughts fall from him as you part your lips and slowly, so fucking painfully slow, drag the tip of your tongue along his bottom lip. You are giving him access he never thought he had.

He pushes his hand into your hair as your tongues dance together and he smiles into the kiss. He wants more. The feel of your body pressed against him as you kiss him makes his brain switch off and his body take over.

Have you always been this perfect?

Then, as quickly as it started, it is over. Both of you part at the same time. He rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling. He opens his mouth to apologize but your movement cuts him off and he lets out a breath he’s held as you settle your head against his chest and say nothing.

The two of you fall asleep like this, your breathing in sync.

______

He wakes the next morning without you beside him or in his arms. His bed has never felt so empty, and he brings both his hands to his face. What the fuck has he done?

His phone vibrates on the table beside his bed, and he throws a hand on it. He has to blink several times before his eyes adjust to the light from the screen.

You [08:14]: Thank you for letting me sleep over.

He thinks about what to type. Should he apologize? Tell you it was the weed or that he hadn’t been thinking? Another vibration hits his palm and his breath hitches.

You [08:16]: Should I cancel my date?

The question makes his ears ring and his chest tighten. It was too early for this. He doesn’t know what the hell to think or say to you. He had kissed you and then you had kissed him back. Right?

Or maybe he had imagined that.

Yoongi [08:23]: No problem. You’re a good cuddler.

He can’t ask you to cancel your date even if he wants you to. There are still things he isn’t ready for, and what would happen to your relationship if he did tell you to cancel? He can’t lose you, there is no way he is taking that chance. He sighs, knowing exactly what he needs to write and so he let his thumbs do the talking he can’t.

Yoongi [08:24]: We’ll see each other soon. Have fun on your date.

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previous || next

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a/n: i really hope that you enjoyed this chapter!! these two are absolutely fucking killing me and i hate all of them!

reblog!! like!! do all the things!! i want to know what you think 😍

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morifinwes · 3 years

Text

wangxian fic rec list!

aka in which i read fics, write some recs down for aamna and share them!! they're all wangxian fics and uhh @yibobibo i hope you'll like them!!

modern

wolf devours playboy bunny by @greenteafiend (5K, werewolf!lwj, getting together, idk if anyone needs to know that but there's nudity just not uhh explicit)

Lan Zhan has wanted Wei Ying as long as he has known him, and the worst part is that he thinks Wei Ying could want him back.

Too bad he could never in good conscience let himself go there—Wei Ying has a debilitating fear of all things canine, and once a month, Lan Zhan is the exact, precise thing that Wei Ying’s nightmares are made of.

Aka, Lan Zhan is a werewolf.

between the lines by @jywait (19K gaming au!!!, i'm always down for a good gaming au, lwj is the best aksks he's such a good boy)

☆yilingpatriarch☆: pls...give me some face, help me fight these monsters...I'm gonna die

Bluetooth: no.

"You have died." The screen said, and Wei Wuxian threw his hands up in frustration.

resonant frequencies by chinxe (15K, college au, fake dating au, tw mention of cheating but it's brief and no one was cheated on i promise)

In which Wei Wuxian decides that the best way to deal with being in love with Lan Wangji is to pretend to date him for three weeks.

It goes about as well as can be expected.

drift compatible by windoworwhatever (5K, poetry, fluff, drunkji, getting together, college au)

"It was just a fact of life. The sky was blue, university stipends for graduate students working in TA positions barely covered rent, bisexuals cuffed their jeans, Lan Wangji had a massive crush on Wei Wuxian, and spent his time pining and writing research papers about gay subtexts in ancient poetry."

Lan Wangji is in love with Wei Wuxian, and everybody knows, except Wei Wuxian.

the bunny next door by detailsinthefabric (43K, this is mostly fluff and very light angst, and they were neighbors!!!, rabbits!!, aka wangxian's bunny children, this is... so cute i just have to rec it)

Lan Wangji did not know what he was doing. He did not know what he was going to say. He was frozen in place, puzzling over the situation. Maybe he had made the man uncomfortable, which is why he wanted to leave? But his tone had still been so friendly—maybe…

“Would…” he paused, swallowed, forced the last words to come out of his suddenly parched mouth, “would you let me pet him?”

-------------------------------------

Lan Wangji, who doesn't know how to socialize and whose icy demeanor scares everyone away, lets down all his defenses when he meets the bunny next door...oh, and also its owner, Wei Wuxian.

leading tone by silencemostofall (32K, everyone is a music student? or something like that akskk, curse fic, tw panic attacks, tw child abuse, small scene of drunkji, wwx has low self esteem, bro this was so painful to read)

The first time you touch someone you're fated to love, you leave a mark on their skin. If they will love you in return, they'll mark you where you touched them. The deeper the color, the deeper the connection.

Wei Ying has no marks at all.

public places, private thoughts by leahelisabeth (for the love of camelot) ( 8K, cherry magic au, getting together with like... immediate upgrade to fiance status, the author is wrong i crave good wangxian cherry magic aus even tho i haven't even watched cherry magic)

Wei Wuxian had heard the story of course. It had made its rounds through his high school and followed him into his college days. He didn’t think there was any possibility it was true. Virginity was a social construct, invented by creepy old men to exercise dominance over women. The idea that a simple lack of sexual activity before the age of thirty could give one magical powers was absolutely ludicrous.

Wei Wuxian believed this until the morning of his thirtieth birthday.

AKA the Wangxian Cherry Magic AU that absolutely nobody asked for.

i'd be all right (if i could see you) by @thirtysixsavefiles (16K, this was nice, i read this at 6am but it was cute, (while writing this post i must admit i don't remember anything but 6am-me said it's good))

The younger Lan brother is something of an enigma on campus; while Lan Xichen can sometimes be seen in the company of other graduate students or conducting a seminar, Lan Wangji appears to spend all his time in class or in the library. He doesn’t drink. He doesn’t smoke. He doesn’t attend social events. He doesn’t do anything for fun, as far as Wei Wuxian can tell, and it’s driving Wei Wuxian just a little bit up the wall.

Or, Wei Wuxian convinces Lan Wangji to come to a house party, and then they're assigned to the same group project. Wei Wuxian tries his best, but he is not in possession of all the facts.

axe on leg by itszero (4K, i still don't get why wwx did that but it was nice seeing him jealous for once, jealous!wwx, lwj i love you....)

Wei Wuxian pressed his face into his pillow and screamed. He paused to take a few deep breaths, partially hindered by the pillow, and listened to the sounds of Nie Huaisang slurping his iced coffee, from his seat on Wei Wuxian's desk chair.

Having caught his breath, he resumed his screaming and did not stop at the sound of his dorm room door opening.

"What's wrong with him?" He heard his brother, Jiang Cheng, ask.

The slurping stopped. "He's an idiot."

"He's always been an idiot. Why is he bothered about it now?"

"He forced Lan Wangji to go on a date," Nie Huaisang replied, shaking the ice cubes in his drink.

"Okay and…?"

"With someone else." The slurping resumed.

Wei Wuxian, in all his glorious dumbassery, convinces his boyfriend to go on a date with someone else.

these two most powerful by @stiltonbasket (4K, amnesia, wangxian with children!!!, aksksk this was adorable, dadji!!)

When Lan Wangji went to bed last night, he was alone in a tiny guest room with nothing but the howling of the wind in the mountains and his own lonely thoughts for company.

But when he opened his eyes in the morning, Wei Ying was asleep beside him.

(In which Lan Wangji loses twenty years' worth of memories after a night-hunt gone wrong, and his life as a doting father and husband continues without a hitch somehow.)

good things come to those who wait [but i ain't in a patient phase] by @cerlunas (4K, getting together, pining lwj)

Lan Wangji can't take it anymore.

“I love you”, he says, and god, it feels terrifying. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

“Lan Zhan…” Wei Wuxian starts, but Lan Wangji doesn’t want to hear it.

He grabs his cup and drinks everything. He doesn’t know what face Wei Wuxian is making at him right now, and it’s okay.

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian repeats louder, but it’s too late. He is already falling asleep.

Or, even after 13 years, Lan Wangji is still in love with his best friend. Maybe it's time to open up.

wei ying, will you marry m- oh my god he swallowed the ring! by selene210 (2K, marriage proposals, crack, marriage proposals but.. they go wrong)

“A ring?”

And indeed it was. The ring Lan Wangji was going to propose to Wei Ying with. That the man had now choked on.

“You swallowed it.”

“It was in my soufflé! Why did you put a ring in my soufflé Lan Zhan- oh. oh”

of glittery valentine's cards by @soft-fics (3K, valentine's day, this was adorable aksk, a-yuan best boy!!)

Lan Zhan didn't want to know what his best friend had planned for Valentine's Day; his heart would simply not be able to handle it. When his son tells him that he made Wei Ying a Valentine's Day card, though, Lan Zhan decided to bring it over anyway.

of coffee and white tea by @soft-fics (9K, fluff, lwj doesn't like coffee, wwx buys him coffee, then they switch drinks, again and again and again, the staff ships it lmao, tbh jc shouldn't have done that like wtf)

For the fourth time this week a stranger orders him a cup of coffee. Lan Wangji wonders how exactly to tell this man to stop ordering him coffee he doesn't even like. Turns out, buying the other white tea and switching drinks is not the best way to go about it

canon setting

on the importance of restraint (or lack thereof) by nixthothou (4K, in which sizhui snaps, i love that boy, no like seriously he's the best boy)

Lan Sizhui does not usually find himself in the company of Sect Leader Jiang.

Suffice to say, Lan Sizhui's feelings toward him are conflicted.

lan wangji is wei wuxian's baby by lilycs (3K, i was craving fluff while reading this, lwj my beloved, drunk!lwj)

Lan Wangji gets drunk from barely a cup of alcohol, becoming a whiny baby and asking his husband for cuddles.

one of our own by glitteringmoonlight (8K, wei wuxian & lan sect, 5+1 things, in which they learn to love him, they're all part of the wwx protection squad lead by lwj, wangxian isn't the focus but !!! THIS)

Times change, but some people remain the same.

The Lans are nothing, if not aware of this.

For one of their own, they will stand against the world.

Or, 5 times the Lans defended Wei Wuxian, and the 1 time he was there to see it happen.

so why not crack your skull when the mind swells by @greenteafiend (13K, love curse, post cql canon, curses, getting together, fluff, so much fluff, lwj tries to talk about his emotions!, lwj pov)

Lan Wangji detects the curse trying to curl through his heart meridians like smoke. A love curse, then. It must have been cast remotely somehow to have found him in his bed in Cloud Recesses. No matter. Lan Wangji crushes it easily, enveloping it in his spiritual energy, and then squeezing. Curse averted, Lan Wangji closes his eyes and goes back to sleep. He thinks no more of it.

Two days later, Wei Wuxian arrives in Cloud Recesses.

Or, Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel terrible pain when he and Lan Wangji aren’t touching.

i started from the bottom / now i'm rich by x_los (57K, time travel, fix it, jealous lwj, crack treated serious, god this is so good tho, wwx/wrh & wwx/jgs but like as a joke and it doesn't really happen, but it has its purpose!!)

“First, you get the money. Then you get the power, respect - hos come last.”

Wen Qing traps Wei Wuxian in the Demon Slaughtering Cave, but Wei Wuxian isn’t interested in being the beneficiary of the Wen Remnants’ noble sacrifice. His efforts to free himself accidentally send him back to the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign. Coreless but armed with demonic cultivation, knowledge of the future and his wits, Wei Wuxian takes advantage of this opportunity to come out on top of both the war and its aftermath—before either has a chance to happen—by marrying and swiftly burying the cultivation world’s worst men.

Lan Wangji is confused, hurt, and uncomfortably aroused by Wei Wuxian’s improbably elaborate series of Sect-themed bridal negligees.

lead me on through by mrsronweasley (55K, they're in love your honor, arranged marriage but they don't know to whom, basically wwx & lwj want to practice kissing which then goes beyond kissing but not the whole way y'know, lxc the best wingman tho)

"Who do you think your betrothed is?" Wei Wuxian asks, sprawling out in front of Lan Zhan and enjoying the prim thinning of his lips at the question. He shouldn't be sprawling—they're in the library, for one, and Lan Zhan is studying, for another—but he can't help himself. Wei Wuxian is a sprawler.

"I do not believe this to be of importance," Lan Zhan responds, without turning his gaze away from his book.

"What!" Wei Wuxian sits up. "How can you say that? Of course it's important! This is the person you'll be with for the rest of your life, Lan Zhan."

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ncssian · 3 years

Text

A Favor: Part Twenty-Three

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: so yeah this isn’t my best work bc i havent been feeling great lately but i hope you guys can stay patient with me until i get my shit together. we’re almost to the end🤞

***

Sitting crammed between Elain and Feyre on the gray couch in Lana’s office, Nesta has to cross her legs prettily and pretend she doesn’t want to peel out of her skin right there. She doesn’t know what she was thinking when she invited her sisters to one of her therapy sessions, but she’s assuming it would be considered rude to kick them out now.

“Who wants to speak first?” Lana’s bob swings as she looks at each of them. The office is ice cold today, and Feyre and Elain’s presence doesn’t help the chill in the air.

Nesta crosses her arms before she can be asked to speak. “No, thank you,” she says. She knows everyone probably expects better from her, but no way in hell is she going to be the first to open up in front of this crowd. “Feyre,” she turns to her youngest sister instead, “why don’t you say something?”

“Actually, why don’t you set the example, Nesta?” Lana gives her a look, making her cheeks redden with irritation.

“Fine,” Nesta grumbles. She clears her throat. “As you can see, I have made moves to reconnect with my sisters. I invited them here because I hoped that therapy would bring us closer and also make them more… tolerable.”

Elain coughs, “Bitch.”

Nesta smiles tightly. “Elain could especially use this, I think.”

Lana is already frowning. She never frowns this early into a session. “We’ll start with an easy question, then. What’s been on your mind lately, Nesta?”

Nesta purses her lips, pretending to think. “Nothing important. I’m looking at jobs for the summer. I think Azriel keeps sneaking money into my purse, and it’s starting to become more than a little condescending. I caught up with some friends from school, and I was polite enough to pay for lunch.” She mentions off to the side to Elain, “Lucien was there, too.”

“Why would I care?” Elain sneers. She spies Lana’s disapproving look and lowers her head demurely. “Sorry,” she murmurs.

“That’s alright,” Lana says. “Why don’t you go next?”

“Me?” Elain’s head snaps up, and Nesta holds in her snicker.

“Start by describing your relationship with Nesta. I heard you two used to be very close.” Lana uncaps her pen, preparing to write.

Elain flushes lightly and folds her hands. “That was when we were children. The only thing keeping us together was that we shared a home. When we stopped living in the same place, some of us had no problem leaving others in the dust.”

“You can use my name,” Nesta rolls her eyes, “I’m right here.”

From the corner of her vision, Feyre cringes.

“Are you saying you feel abandoned by Nesta?” Lana continues probing.

Elain’s answering silence tells more than enough. Therapy must actually be paying off, though, because Nesta only thinks about interrupting and defending herself for a second before shaking it off. Her mind focuses on the word abandonment instead.

Lana is focusing on the same thing, because she leans closer and says, “Being abandoned bothers you?”

“I never said that,” Elain says indignantly.

“It would bother most people.”

Nesta watches Elain sigh and blink her big doe eyes at Lana. She’s always been able to use those eyes on anybody for anything. “I just don’t understand why I’m the villain for expecting a little loyalty,” Elain says sweetly. “Especially when you take a look at this face.” She cups her round cheeks. “You know psychology. How could you abandon this face?”

Nesta’s jaw hangs open. “Are we still talking about me?” She remembers Cassian telling her the story behind Azriel ghosting Elain, and a pang of guilt and pity hits her. She still hasn’t talked with Elain about why Azriel left Velaris, and she knows she won’t be able to decide whether to spare Az or not until she does.

“So that’s my turn,” Elain finishes up. “Feyre can go next.”

Lana is writing something sharply on her notepad, but she nods coolly. “Feyre, how would you describe your relationship with your sisters?”

“Oh, we don’t have time for all of that,” Feyre laughs awkwardly and waves a hand.

Nesta agrees, but the look Lana gives Feyre tells her that yes, they do have time.

Gulping, Feyre glances around. “Well, I was born last, so I guess that made me the outsider of the family. I never had much in common with my sisters, but now that we’re older I… hoped that we would grow past that.”

Translation: she hoped that once she found her happy ending in Rhysand’s arms, poor little Nesta and Elain would happily assimilate into her new community of wealthy friends, putting the cherry on top of her perfect life. And while Elain did that exact thing, it’s always bothered Feyre that Nesta won’t do the same.

Feyre continues, “I admit I’m not the best at understanding Nesta. Elain and I get along fine now, but Nesta…” Feyre meets her eyes. “It’s like nothing we do is enough for her, but for some reason I can’t stop trying.”

“Whose fault is that?” Nesta mutters.

“You want her approval,” Lana hums, taking notes.

“Is that what it is?” Feyre looks away.

Nesta refrains from saying yes, that’s exactly what it is, and it’s not my problem if you keep looking for something I can’t give.

“What are your feelings about that, Nesta?” Lana turns her focus to her. “Remember that this is a safe space.”

It really isn’t, not with two siblings holding long term grudges against Nesta. But once and for all, she’s going to set the record straight. “I spent most of my life being a bad sister.” Nesta’s voice is apathetic, straightforward. “I let Feyre take the burden of providing for us even though I was the oldest, and I didn’t know how to be anything other than cruel to my family. So once I had the means to do so, I cut everyone off for all of our sakes. I still don’t regret it, because being a stranger is better than being a bad sister.”

In that way, Nesta is a bit like her mother. Nesta was angry after her death, but she knows she would have been even angrier if Magdalene Archeron had lived and continued to be a disappointing parent. In that way, both of them are wise for leaving their families when they did.

“Or you could just be a good sister,” Elain interrupts with a drawl.

Nesta smirks bitterly at her. “I’d rather die.”

Feyre takes in a breath. “Why? Why are you like that with us?” She blinks furiously, and Nesta can see the simmer of her emotions. “It was okay when we thought you hated everybody, but you don’t. You only hate me and Elain.”

Nesta looks to Lana for help, but her therapist is sitting this one out. She sighs through her nose. “I don’t hate you,” she says, even though they might never understand. The next line comes with great difficulty. “I’ve loved you since before I even knew what love was. But I don’t like you very much, Feyre, and you don’t like me, either. Please stop trying to change that.”

When she finally meets Feyre’s eyes, though, they’re glimmering with tears. “How can I stop trying to change that?” Feyre whispers. “How can I give up on us like that?”

For Nesta to give Feyre and Elain the relationship they want from her would require nothing but lies on her part. And as much as she wishes she was capable of lying about this, she can’t do it.

Looking away and down at her hands, Nesta mutters, “It’s not fun for me either, but it’s how I am. I can’t be easy or friendly with you. I hate watching you try to make me be easy or friendly.”

Nobody says anything to that, but when Nesta looks up again Lana gives her a remote nod that Feyre and Elain don’t catch. Thank you for your vulnerability, it says.

“You said something interesting, Nesta,” Lana breaks the silence. “Did you see your sisters as your responsibility to raise?”

Nesta shrugs. “I was the oldest,” she repeats.

“Your father was the oldest.”

“He wouldn’t do shit even if you held a gun to his head, so I was up next.” Though Nesta hadn’t done shit either. Neither had Elain, but the rules have always been different for her. Elain redeems herself to others by handing out sunny smiles and pretending to have the intelligence of a fawn.

Lana stares at Nesta until Nesta’s skin starts to heat. “What?” she says defensively.

Ignoring the other two women in the room, Lana leans forward. “You told me once early into our relationship that part of the reason you left Tennessee was to get away from your sisters. You said you were heartbroken when they ended up following you here.”

Nesta doesn’t breathe or look to see her sisters’ reactions.

“Now I’m going to ask: did you really want to get away from your sisters, or did you want to escape the feeling of failing them?”

Nesta doesn’t know how to answer, because to her they might as well be the same thing. Having Feyre and Elain around is like having a weight tied to her chest. The lingering guilt every time Feyre is in a room, her existence screaming I’m the reason you’re still alive. Elain’s constant expectations of unconditional support and loyalty, whether it’s reciprocated or not. It’s all so heavy. And it all goes back to the fact that the three of them were once just helpless children.

If she couldn’t take care of her sisters, how is she supposed to take care of any child, ever?

Nesta releases a weary sigh. “You’re going to bring this up the next time we have the baby talk, aren’t you?”

Lana’s eyes sparkle. “Don’t get ahead of yourself just yet.” But Nesta can see from where she sits that her therapist’s notepad is covered in bullet points.

***

“I need to use the bathroom.” Feyre is hopping back and forth on her feet once the session is over. “You guys head down to the parking lot without me.” She exits in a rush, leaving the two sisters alone. Nesta hisses in frustration, nearly chasing after Feyre so she won’t have to face the inevitable awkward conversation with Elain.

By the end of the session, it was Elain that broke and pleaded with Nesta, “Don’t do everything we want, then. Just keep doing better, the way you’ve already been doing. I’ll be happy with just that.”

Nesta was surprised that Elain had even noticed her efforts, but she retorted, “And how do you plan to do better?”

To which Elain twirled her hair and murmured something halfheartedly about, “I might be more open to taking criticism or whatever.”

Though it was the absolute bare minimum, it was still a relief for Nesta to hear Elain admit that she has flaws worth criticizing.

Now, Nesta clutches the straps of her purse and turns for the stairwell leading to the parking lot. Elain follows without comment.

Inside the stairwell, Nesta asks, “Have you spoken to Azriel since he left Velaris?”

Elain looks surprised at the sudden question, and doesn’t remember to be guarded when she answers, “No. Why?”

Nesta shrugs, her heels thumping loudly on the linoleum stairs. “Because I know what happened between you two. I know why he left.”

Elain halts midstep, grabbing Nesta’s arm and turning to face her with wide eyes. “What do you mean, you know? He told you?”

“He told Cassian, and Cassian told me.” Nesta hardly cares that she’s being a poor friend to Azriel by spilling all this to Elain, and continues, “If I had known he was such a coward, I would have kicked him out of our place a long time ago… but I figured I would get your input on it first.”

She’s never seen Elain look so genuinely pleading before. “Get my input on what?” Elain breathes. “What did he say about me? Was it something I did?”

At that torn face that borders on heartbroken, Nesta decides that she’ll do more than kick Azriel out of the cabin. She’ll kick him off the whole mountain.

She shoves Elain’s back to get Elain detached from her and moving down the stairs again, and as they walk, Nesta spills everything she knows. She tells Elain about Rhysand’s talent of shoving his nose into places it doesn’t belong, and how one conversation with him managed to convince Azriel to ditch Elain for good. She tells her about how instead of having a straightforward conversation with Elain, Azriel chose to leave the city and hide out in the mountains like a pussy. She might sound blunt, but Elain needs blunt. She needs to know the unfiltered truth of things.

By the time they reach the floor where their cars are parked, Elain is silent. “Did he really say that?” she finally asks quietly. “He said he wants me to hate him?”

“That’s what I heard.” After a moment, Nesta feels the need to add, “You should hate him, though. He fucked up bad.”

When Elain continues strolling for their cars without replying, concern bites at Nesta. “You are mad at him, right? And mad at Rhysand? You’re not going to forgive them, right?”

“I’m not a total pushover,” Elain snaps. She stares at the cement ground as they walk. “I’m just… more disappointed than anything else. He gave up so easily.” She chuckles without humor. “It sounds like he was looking for an excuse to get away from me.”

Nesta frowns. “I don’t think he would’ve spent so long moping around our house if he wanted to leave you.” Though they can never truly know what Azriel was thinking or feeling until he grows a pair and talks to Elain. Still, she shudders at having to defend him.

“I take it he doesn’t mope anymore?” Elain says.

Nesta doesn’t know how to answer that truthfully. She knows there’s more to Azriel than he lets her and Cassian see, and she knows he’s gotten better at keeping his feelings to himself. So she says, “It looks like he’s doing better, but I really don’t know.” They reach Elain’s car.

“Were you in love with him?” Nesta suddenly asks. Or worse, is she still in love with him?

Elain digs around for her keys in her purse. “You know how I am. Of course I was.”

“Not anymore, though?”

Elain looks up, keys now in hand. “It’s hard to still feel love for someone I haven’t talked to in two months.”

Then it wasn’t real love. Nesta is relieved, even though it doesn’t change the fact that Elain is hurting either way.

Elain jabs her keys at Nesta and says sharply, “Don’t you dare punish him for what he did. That’s for me to decide on.”

Nesta’s brow creases in refusal. “I’ll do what I need to do, and you do you.” She’ll have to be careful with her plotting, though, considering Azriel is Cassian’s brother.

“No.” Elain surprises Nesta with the force in her tone. “He’s your roommate and your friend. Keep treating him like it.”

Elain makes it sound easier than it is, and Nesta wants to argue until she sees Feyre heading down the parking lot toward them. “Fine,” she grumbles halfheartedly.

Elain gives her one final long look, not of threat but something else. “Thank you—for inviting us today.” That’s all she says before getting in the driver’s seat of her little red car. At the same time, Feyre catches up to them.

“Where are you parked?” Feyre pants as she approaches Nesta. She sounds a bit out of breath, like she ran to get here before Nesta could drive off alone.

Nesta points down the lot to where her scrappy old car is waiting for her, and Feyre straightens up with a grim smile. “I’ll walk you.”

Nesta knows that arguing isn’t worth it, so she allows Feyre to trail her the rest of the way to her car. Once they reach the old thing, Nesta gives a curt goodbye and heads straight for the driver’s door. Before she can touch the handle, Feyre attacks her from behind with a hug.

“Get off me, freak!” Nesta tries to jostle her way out of Feyre’s arms. She tries being nice to her sisters one time and this is what she gets—

Feyre only squeezes her tighter. “You don’t have to hug back. Just let me love you my way.”

Nesta squirms for another second before stilling. Swallowing tightly, she stares at the reflection of herself and Feyre in the car door window. One of her hands goes to where Feyre’s hands are clasped around her stomach, and she stands there without moving. She can’t remember the last time she shared affection with a family member like this, but it must have been before their mother died.

The warmth at Nesta’s back doesn’t leave, like Feyre is trying to pour all her understanding into the hug. Silently saying, I’m finally starting to get it.

In a way, Nesta is starting to get it, too. After all, how do sisters with such a complicated history begin to forgive each other?

Not by apologizing, but by doing better in the future.

***

On her way home, Nesta remembers at the last minute to stop by Gwyn’s apartment to pick up one of her sweaters. She doesn’t know when Gwyn started raiding her closet like it was a free mall, but she has a school event next week and doesn’t plan on letting her nicest clothes rot at Gwyn’s forever.

Nesta enters using the key beneath the doormat, knowing Gwyn is at work and won’t mind her stopping by. She scans the living and dining areas for a glimpse of brown cashmere, but only finds scattered books and a disorganized mess. Her fingers twitch with the urge to stop and tidy up the place, but she continues hunting for the sweater. Gwyn promised it would be waiting in plain sight for her.

Realizing the scatter-brained girl probably forgot to put the sweater out for her, Nesta pauses in the hallway leading to Gwyn’s bedroom and bites her lip. She doesn’t know if bedrooms are off limits or not, considering how often Gwyn and Emerie have barged into hers, but she knows she doesn’t want to make a second trip here just for a sweater.

Without giving it further thought, she strides into Gwyn’s room—

And yelps to find Gwyn on the bed.

Except she isn’t alone, and there’s definitely another body under the dark green blanket with her, and whoever it is definitely has their head between her legs.

Nesta spins away at the same time she hears Gwyn’s cry of surprise. She braces one hand against the doorjamb and presses the other to her freezing cold face, not having any words for what she just saw.

“Nesta?” Gwyn calls from behind her. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Um, have you seen my sweater? It’s the expensive one.” She’ll just grab it and leave. Or maybe she’ll just leave—yes, that sounds like a good idea.

“Nesta?” a new, deeper voice repeats.

Gwyn hisses, and Nesta freezes because she recognizes that voice. She wants to be wrong so badly, but she has to whirl back around to confirm for herself.

“Azriel?”

***

a/n: i decided to cut this chapter short and add an extra one to flesh out my silly little gwynriel subplot. so if there’s anything specific or random you wanna see happen in the next chapter tell me bc i might have space for prompts!!

tagging: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook a favor: @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @arinbelle @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland @moodymelanist @pixieelea

#ncssianwrites #a favor #nesta archeron #nessian #cassian #nessian fic #nessian au

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epicstuckyficrecs · 3 years

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Weekly Recap | March 29 - April 4 2021

This week, I started my Epic Stucky Fic Download of 2021 (I'm somewhere in 2015 at the moment, 2014 and before are done), which means I re-read some oldies... I hope you enjoy!

Complete

Heaven and Hell were words to me by this_wayward_life (Post-Endgame, PWP, BDSM | 3K | Explicit): Bucky usually prides himself in being a relatively observant person. He was back in Brooklyn when he and Steve were cramped together in that tiny one-bedroom apartment, he was during his time as the Asset, and he was during that strange period between his defection from Hydra and Steve finding him. So, he's more than a little surprised when Steve manages to keep a secret from him. So it comes as a bit of a shock when Bucky comes home one day after a mission for Steve to take his hands and whisper that he's got a surprise for him. (Part 3 of No grave can hold my body down)

💙 Diving In The Deep End by musette22/ @musette22 (Evanstan RPF | 19K | Explicit): Scarlett raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow. “You’re telling me that you never once in your entire life, not even during theater school, locked lips with another guy?”

💙 you know I'd quench that thirst by napricot (Canon, Bucky/Steve/Peggy | 38K | Explicit): Steve Rogers is very much not a virgin. Not before the serum, and sure as hell not after it, when the serum ramps up his libido along with everything else. Too bad everyone thinks Captain America is a sexless historical symbol. Or: the tragicomic sexual odyssey of Steve Rogers, and how it begins, and then much later ends, with Bucky Barnes.

i got it bad for you by howdoyousleep/ @howdoyousleep3 (Evanstan RPF, PWP, Daddy kink | 4K | Explicit): “Yeah? Older?” “Yeah yeah, just…I don’t know, the beard? This fucking hair? Just…I don’t know— older,” he manages to chuckle nervously, gasping into Chris’ mouth when their squirming leads their dicks into lining up beautifully. Seb aches, yearns, mouth watering as he mewls, both hands in Chris’ hair as he licks into Sebastian’s mouth. And then Chris pulls back, breathes hot on Sebastian’s cheek, his bottom lip, croons, “Like your Daddy?”

💙 The Wedding Planner(’s Assistant) by crinklefries/ @spacerenegades (Shrinkyclinks | 40K | Teen): Bucky Barnes is in a bit of a conundrum. For example, on the one hand, he’s the former extremely polished, brutally efficient, and impressively ruthless brainwashed weapon of mass murder for the secret Nazi arm of the United States government. On the other hand, he has an uncontrollable crush on the cute blond wedding planner who lives next door.

Accidental husbands... by darter_blue/ @darter-blue (Shrunkyclunks, Accidental Marriage | 2K | Mature): Or the one where Bucky finds himself accidentally married to a superhero. And he definitely isn't mad about it.

WIP

💙 and the river flows beneath your skin by Deisderium/ @deisderium (Boarding School AU, Soulmates | 9/? | 70K | Mature): In which Steve and Bucky are forced to room together their senior year at boarding school, and accidentally soul bond to each other even though they kind of hate each other. All they have to do to get out of it is not kiss each other for a year so the accidental bond will fade. How hard could it be?

Re-Read

💙 (760): I literally cut myself out of my pants. Waste. Of. Money. by relenafanel/ @relenafanel (Modern AU | 6K | Mature): Hey friend of Sam’s can I get an opinion on this outfit? Bucky texted, attaching the selfie taken in Sam’s bathroom mirror. He received an answer almost immediately. Bucky was almost expecting a lecture, or at least a concerned question about who had stolen Sam’s phone. He got neither. Or: Bucky strikes up a flirtation with a stranger over text message in the month leading up to Valentine's Day.

💙 Bucky Barnes and his Big Beefy Blonde by Kellyscams/ @thebestpersonherelovesbucky (Shrunkyclunks, PWP | 6K | Explicit): Bucky Barnes loves Big, Beefy, Blondes. What he loves most about Big, Beefy, Blondes is having no string attached sex with them. Until he meets a Big, Beefy, Blonde that just happens to be Steve Rogers -- Captain America who's only been declared alive a few months ago. This is one that could go down as Bucky's fuck of a lifetime. That's if he can avoid these pesky feelings that start showing up out of nowhere.

💙 Bucky Barnes and his Big Beefy Blonde Part 2 by Kellyscams/ @thebestpersonherelovesbucky (Shrunkyclunks, Strangers to Lovers | 16K | Explicit): Bucky Barnes once spent eight glorious, sex-filled days with the Big, Beefy, Blonde fuck of a lifetime -- the recently defrosted Steve "Captain America" Rogers. Three months later, things aren't exactly the way Bucky imagined they'd be. This Big, Beefy, Blonde, really may have changed him forever.

💙 Series: You Make Me Feel Like I Am Home Again by Taste_is_Sweet/ @taste-is-sweet (Canon, Post-Winter Soldier | 19 works | 127K | Teen): Connected stories about Bucky and Steve: the world's most adorable relics.

if ye be worthy by hitlikehammers (Post-AOU | 2K | Teen): “Do you know what that is?” Bruce asks, voice low, but that’s not really new, for him. “It’s Thor’s hammer-thingy,” Bucky shrugs. “Look, man, I know it was shitty to give it a swing without him knowing, I’m sor—” “You swung it?”

💙 For Words to Say it Right by Squeaky, Taste_is_Sweet/ @taste-is-sweet (Modern AU, Soulmates | 25K | Teen): Turns out when you're missing an arm, everyone asks are you okay? all the damn time. And when your soulmark is one of the most common questions in English, it's even worse. Generic soulmarks are a bitch.

💙 Just Hold Me by shanology/ @shanology (Post-Winter Soldier | 10K | Explicit): Bucky Barnes is living in Avengers Tower, and all he wants in the world is to be cuddled. He sets out to get his new friends to give him the snuggling he needs, because it's not something he can ask of Steve yet. Steve doesn't see it in quite the same way. Also, there are Avengers movie nights, possibly with a showing of The Covenant. Just saying.

💙 Imprint by hetrez (Post-Avengers | 7K | General): "The next day, Steve and the other Avengers are just settling into a meeting on the flight deck when there's a muffled yell, and Alvarez falls out of the ceiling." -- Or, Steve builds a training program, a team, and new life for himself. (Part 1 of Make Way For Ducklings)

💙 Awakenings by hetrez (Canon divergent - Winter Soldier | 19K | Explicit): Bucky says, "Do you know, after you leave -- every time you leave, after the doctors have taken my mask off, I walk around this place and try to find everywhere you've been. Was your hand on the toaster? Did you lean against the doorway? Where were you on the couch? I haven't seen your face in seventy-five years, not really." (Part 2 of Make Way For Ducklings)

#stucky #stucky fic #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #stucky fic rec #Weekly Recap

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redjaybathood · 2 years

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High School No Powers AU but it takes place kinda in the same universe as the Joker/Selina/Bruce YA graphic novel.

All the batkids and their friends are from the same generation as Bruce, and they all in the same school.

Everyone has a clique. Jason's is:

Biz Arro, cheerleader. Has a speech disability and a very beloved plush toy. Rumored to be an uncle to Kon and Matches Luthor-Kents but they never seen even acknowledging each other;

Artemis Grace. Was home schooled up to high school because she was raised on a lesbian commune. Despite this, the least awkward of their group and the reason nobody bullies them;

JD. She spent some time in the same foster home as Jack Napier and considers him as an older brother. She really should not;

Sasha Bahriana. Nobody knows what happened to her face but everyone knows that the other guy got worse;

Jason himself. Everyone knows his mom is addict and his dad's in jail. Everyone also knows he's a giant nerd and theatre geek.

Sometimes have lunch with him, when they feel like slumming it: real life princess Koriand'r (who's also literally exiled from her kingdom by the edict of her older sister, Queen Komand'r) and don't ask why she hangs out with them - when it started, she was going through a rough break up with her first American boyfriend (first love, period) and wanted to get closer to a guy who he always despised; Roy Harper, Olympics-level champion in archery, used to have a two-way unrequited crush with Jason (their break up was very messy but somehow they are still on good terms, just not speaking much).

Dick's clique:

aforementioned Roy Harper and Koriand'r, both his exes, now on good terms;

Wally West from the track team and science club;

Victor Stone from the football team and a known computer geek;

Garfield Logan, a celebrity teen actor (and Victor's boyfriend);

Rachel Roth, resident goth, who's rumoured to had killed her father (and also Gar's girlfriend);

Donna Troy, who moved a couple of years ago and nobody knows where from - or, rather, there's too much contradicting rumours. Looks like she can break you in half and is the reason nobody bullies them;

Dick himself, who was home schooled until middle school, when his parents decided it would be better for his education if he had more stable environment. He is on gymnastics team.

Tim's clique:

Kon Luthor-Kent, a child of a very very messy divorce - to the point that there was a time when nobody had custody of him at all;

Cassie Sandsmark, who spends like every summer in Greece for some reason and is really into Percy Jackson. Also, she is ready to fight gods, and is the reason nobody bullies them;

Cissie King-Jones, another Olympic-level archer;

Bart Allen, who has a twin, actually, but they were separated at birth and now they are raised by the same uncle, Mercury;

Tim himself. His parents used to be rich and sent him to a boarding school. Now they lost all their money and going through a messy (and expensive) divorce so Tim is slumming it in Gotham High. He's a skater and spends too much otherwise free time on social media.

Cassandra Cain's clique:

Barbara Gordon, her foster sister, who technically graduated so she doesn't really count as clique as of this year;

Stephanie Brown. On gymnastics team. Got her father arrested;

Duke Thomas. Valedictorian. Is great with basketball but not on a team. Often organizes or attends political rallies, demonstrations, etc. He and other teens from Gotham organized a whole protest movement;

Cassandra herself. Her father got arrested, her mother unknown. She ended up being fostered by police commissioner. Now, she dances in a street/underground dance competition. She never loses.

Bruce's clique:

Selina Kyle. She doesn't need an introduction. Everyone knows her, everyone wants to be her, even boys;

Talia al Ghul. They transferred at the same time from the same boarding school in Switzerland;

Harvey Dent. One of the childhood friends of Bruce;

Tommy Elliott, another childhood friend of Bruce but now Bruce feels weird around him, but he's sure it's nothing + Tommy just going through some stuff, similar to what Bruce went through a couple years before;

Bruce himself. After his parents tragically died, had a hard time dealing with. After he was kicked out from one school after another for fighting, his guardians decided that a change of scenery is needed and shipped him off to Switzerland. One of his guardians, Alfred, went with him. Leslie, sadly, couldn't give up her practice.

A clique of their own: Grant, Joey, Rose Wilsons, Match Luthor, Thaddeus Thwane, Tara Markov. They are, or were at some point, fostered by Slade Wilson. Except for the Wilsons, they are his biological kids, but no one is living with him by now, and everyone is better for it. They bonded over the shared trauma and hatred/love to Slade Wilson.

Others:

Roman Sionis. Childhood enemy of Bruce. Currently, more of an enemy to Stephanie Brown and Jason Todd.

Jack Napier. Current enemy of Bruce. A Creep who likes to think that he's either a nice guy, or that everyone is bad so it doesn't matter.

Harley Quinn. Ex-girlfriend of Jack. Kneed him in the nuts in front of the whole school. Currently dates Pamela Isley.

#gotham high #high school au

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reveniemus · 3 years

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hugs 16 for a pairing of your choice 💙

thank you for the ask dear!! i went really fluffy with this so i hope you don't mind 😅

16. ‘not wanting to let go’ hugs

little victories feel big

rating: G warnings: none i think au - modern setting. dadralt my beloved and his girl, cirilla, all grown up(ish)

The thing is that it has just been them for so long and Geralt knows this is for the best, but he doesn’t really want to do it either. It is five in the morning, and he is in the kitchen triple- and quadruple-checking Ciri’s lunchbox to make sure she has plenty of snacks and juice boxes to make it through the day. Maybe it’s overkill, but Geralt knows how much she eats and drinks when it’s just them, and maybe she’ll be busy playing, but maybe she’ll get thirsty and will need a juice box! He hums before turning to grab a water bottle from the fridge to tuck beside her four juice boxes. Just in case.

“Dad?” a sleepy voice asks from the doorway, and Geralt turns to see his daughter standing in her baby goat pajamas and lionhead bedroom slippers, rubbing at her eyes. “Is it time for school?”

“Almost. You have to shower and get dressed first,” he says, kneeling in front of her. “You sleep okay, cub?”

She nods, taking half a step forward before leaning into him. He wraps his arms around her, pulling her close so he can pick her up. “Do you think my teacher will be nice?” she asks sleepily into his shirt, and her voice is muffled, so he knows she’s got her thumb in her mouth, a habit she has mostly kicked except when she’s scared or nervous.

“If they aren’t, you have to tell me so I can yell at them,” he says, kissing her hair.

“You can’t yell at everyone, mum says so,” she mumbles as he deposits her on the stool beside her sink. It was Yennefer’s, once, before they had determined that maybe they were better for each other in smaller doses. Now, it was covered in sparkly pink toothpaste, bright green mouthwash, and various plastic toys, the mirror covered in stars and hearts that Ciri deemed necessary.

“Mum is wrong about that, because I can. It’s just not always the best idea,” he says, helping her squeeze the last of her toothpaste onto her toothbrush. He makes a mental note to buy more toothpaste while she’s at school.

They get ready with ease, a routine they’ve perfected in the last few years. Geralt brushes and braids Ciri’s hair while she brushes her teeth, she swishes her mouthwash while he brushes his teeth, and she brushes his hair out while he ties his work boots on.

Once he’s dressed and his hair is brushed to Ciri’s standards, he starts for her room and she stands in front of the door. “Cirilla…” he says, his tone warning.

“I picked a very special outfit for school! It’s a surprise!” she tells him, her tone very reminiscent of Yennefer’s scolding one and Geralt sighs. Ciri’s face breaks out into a grin knowing she’s won before running into her room and shouting at him not to peek.

Geralt, ever the gentleman, does not. Instead, he grabs his keys, his wallet, and his phone and waits at the door, her lunchbox and backpack in one hand. “Ciri,” he calls after a few minutes, checking his watch because he doesn’t think it’ll look good if they’re late on her first day.

“Almost ready!” she shouts, and he’s about to respond when he hears shuffling and the door closing before her footsteps run towards him. She’s dressed in a dark green dress with a high neck - one of Triss’ purchases, he’s pretty sure - and a bright pink sweater. On her feet are a pair of work boots just like Geralt’s that he’s sure Eskel spent way too much money on, and she’s got a barrette in her hair that’s got a purple pom pom on it that Geralt doesn’t remember buying, but can’t figure out where she could’ve picked it up.

“You look like you’re ready for a very special day, Ciri,” he says, knowing that anything less would devastate her, and he’s not in the market to devastate his daughter on her first day of school.

She beams like he’s awarded her a prize, and runs up to him and turns so he can slide the backpack straps through her arms. “I am verily very ready for a very special day!” she announces, turning and holding her hand up for him to take.

Geralt chuckles and takes her hand, squeezing it lightly as they make their way out the door. Public transportation isn’t ideal for getting his daughter to and from places, but considering his car is in flagrant violation of a few vehicle laws right now, he isn’t trying to take her anywhere in it. Thankfully, her school is at the same stop as his job, so it makes the trip there and back a little easier.

Ciri spends the trip seated in front of Geralt, babbling about how she hopes Roach isn’t lonely without them there to keep her company and how she hopes they can draw during class today, because she’d like to draw “Unkie Lamby” a picture since she drew “Unkie Esky” one last week. Geralt hums at the appropriate places, but is at attention for any potential dangers around them. He doesn’t expect anyone to come crashing into them at eight in the morning, but he also doesn’t want to be taken off guard if someone does.

When they get to their stop, Ciri hops off the seat and holds her hand out for Geralt to take. Normally, he’d scoop her up to make sure they don’t get separated in the rush, but they’d talked about it and Ciri insisted she wanted to walk to her first day of school. Geralt was nothing if not putty in her hands, so walk she would.

They approach the primary school Geralt and Yennefer had painstakingly researched and vetted just before 8:30, and Geralt knows he’s not ready for this, but Ciri is excited to go to school and she needs to socialize and meet kids her age, so he has to pretend. At least for a little bit longer.

A woman with blonde hair checks them in and directs them towards the hallway for Ciri’s age group. Geralt thanks her, but the words are mostly lost to the sound of Ciri’s excited squeals as she tugs him down the hall and towards the open doors, some with teachers standing outside and others with parents milling about. Geralt nods at some parents he recognizes from previous programs Ciri has been in or from the nearby parks, and nearly trips over Ciri when she stops in front of an open classroom door.

“I think that dragon is sitting on pancakes,” Ciri says matter-of-factly, head tilted to the side.

Geralt pauses and studies the window decoration, his head tilting as well. “Yes, it is,” he says, before the door is suddenly occupied by a man with brown hair, bright blue eyes, and … a lute?

There’s a flash of something in his eyes when he looks at Geralt, but then turns his attention to Ciri, kneeling so he’s at eye level with her. “Good morrow, fellow adventurer, are you here for Mr. Pankratz’s class?” he asks brightly.

“Uh, yeah, this is Cirilla Rivia,” Geralt says, squeezing her hand lightly.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Pan… Pankratz,” Ciri says, brows furrowing as she concentrates on getting all the consonants out correctly.

“Lovely to meet you, Miss Rivia.” He bows as deeply as he can while still kneeling in front of her. “Come inside and claim a cubby and a desk,” he says, standing so he can step aside and let her in.

Ciri beams and runs inside, painstakingly evaluating each and every cubby. She places her lunchbox in a cubby for a few seconds before shaking her head and taking it out and trying a different cubby.

Geralt watches her with fondness, his chest welling up as she finally picks a cubby and puts her lunchbox, backpack, and bright pink sweater away in it, her movements methodical in a way that makes him realize she’s copying what he does when he gets home. He thinks about calling out to her, so he can say a proper goodbye, but then she’s running towards the collection of desks to pick out the one she thinks is best for her.

“First time?” Mr. Pankratz asks, his eyes soft and amused when Geralt turns to him.

His cheeks pinken, but Geralt nods. “The office has all my information and it’s in her bag too, but I’m just down the road if anything happens so I can be here immediately,” he says, knowing that there is a strong likelihood that nothing will happen and he will be back at two o’clock for pick up and they’ll do this all again tomorrow, but he feels like he needs to say it. Just in case.

Mr. Pankratz nods. “I’ll keep an eye on her, I promise,” he says, and Geralt gives him a small smile.

“I should get to work,” he finally says after he watches Ciri pick a desk next to a kid with dark skin and fluffy hair. “See you at two, Mr. Pankratz.”

“See you at two, Mr. Rivia,” he says, and Geralt starts to turn when he hears Ciri call for him.

He’s kneeling on the ground before she gets to him, her arms thrown around his neck and her face buried in his shoulder. Geralt wraps his arms around her, his eyes closed as he presses his cheek against her hair. “You be good, alright, cub? I expect a full report at pick up,” he says, trying to keep his voice light but he can hear the small crack in it. He just hopes Ciri doesn’t notice.

“I love you, Dad,” she mumbles into the fabric of his shirt as her arms loop tighter around his neck, and Geralt squeezes her tight.

“I love you too, Ciri,” he says, rubbing her back with one hand. One of his parenting books had said that an adult should never release a hug until a kid was ready, but he knows if he doesn’t go soon, he’ll just scoop her back up and pretend like school was never a possibility.

Geralt can hear and feel Mr. Pankratz kneel behind Ciri before the teacher speaks. “If you’d like, Miss Rivia, I have a notebook that I think would be perfect for putting all the things that happen during the day so you can remember what to tell your dad when he comes to pick you up,” he says, his fingers featherlight over Ciri’s shoulder. “I think he’d really like that, don’t you?” he continues, his smile widening as Ciri pulls away from Geralt slowly.

She nods and wipes at her eyes. “You have to go, so I have things to tell you!” she tells Geralt, as if this is a fact that she has only just learned. Ciri leans in to kiss his cheek before turning to Mr. Pankratz with a determined set to her jaw. “I like pink notebooks best,” she tells him, and he chuckles.

“Let’s see what we can do, yeah?” he says, offering her his hand. Before the two of them completely turn away, Geralt catches his eye and mouths a silent ‘thank you,’ which he responds to with a shake of his head and a smile.

Geralt watches Ciri for a few more seconds before turning down the hallway towards the exit. Just five and a half hours til he can pick her up.

#geralt of rivia #princess cirilla of cintra #cirilla fiona elen riannon #this is not beta'd so sorry not sorry #the witcher #witcher fic #geralt & ciri #kali writes #i apparently have a thing for teacher!jask and dadralt and y'know what let's not try to unpack that today

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im-gay-and-mentally-unstable · 3 years

Text

Video game AU

-The School is an online game that had existed for years and is now long after its times of glory, only the most determined players remain and not many newbies show up

-they still host competitions with small sums of money as the first prize

-there's plenty of smaller guilds, but they are slowly getting absorbed by the two largest- Forever and Never

-Forever, its members simply Evers, was the first gathering of some of the strongest players in the game, most of them already connected by friendships, and they slowly took over a lot of resources, earning a huge in-game advantage

-however, a lot of strong players didn't get past the member limit and felt disgusted by the advantage guild players received and in reaction, they made a guild of their own, even the title solely to spite the Forever- they named it Never

-the two guilds are in never-ending competition with each other for years, no one ever being able to grow significantly stronger, stuck in a cycle, almost no one joining in or leaving until Agatha and Sophie come along

-they have both grown up in the same household with Stefan and Vanessa, except Vanessa is dead and Sophie hadn't quite recovered before Stefan remarried again, straining their relationship permanently

-in attempts to earn her affection again, he buys her various gifts, this time, he bought the game to try and give her a new hobby

-she'd normally just abandon it, it's so out of fashion and she isn't interested in things like that in the slightest, but the most popular guy of their school, Tedros Pendragon, who also happens to be the interest of Sophie's undying love, or climbing for popularity, however you want to call it, is the head of Forever

-she makes a master plan, where she intends to join the game, become a legendary player and help him on his journey, making him fall in love with her in the process

-the thing is, she doesn't want to do it on her own (and absolutely doesn't want to go through pages of guidebooks and class descriptions), so she begs Agatha until she agrees to go through with it with her

-they start going through the early stages of the game and level up quickly

-Sophie spends most of her time trying to search for Tedros and save him while Agatha builds their collective inventory

-she very much hates to admit it but she got really into the game

-they become really good fast, mainly because of how much time they spend there (for very different reasons) and the talent for the game they both have

-while Sophie is off hunting for Tedros, Agatha joins a new guest that has just appeared and manages to complete it before the members of Forever, who just walk into the scene and are impressed

-Tedros invites her to fill the last available place in their guild and she tries to refuse and recommends Sophie instead, but they insist and she caves in

-Sophie finds out and is furious, in her frustration, she joins the Never guild in an upcoming tournament, motivated even more to prove herself

Character classes:

Tedros -> fighter

-> honestly the obvious choice

-> strong attack power, almost no health

-> fights in the first line of attack all the time

-> pretty dependent on other players' support

-> at his best as a team player, but incredible on his own too

-> thought the armour looked cool

Agatha -> paladin

-> she just liked the idea of protecting everyone but also doing damage and not being codependent

-> she made the smart choice for balanced gameplay

-> her saviour complex also came into play

-> never plays the first line unless forced to, but if she does she absolutely destroys everyone

Sophie -> sorceress

-> didn't read any of the guides, but liked the idea of throwing fireballs and destroying shit

-> somehow gets all the overpowered spells

-> again, she has huge attack power and very poor defense

-> she doesn't even need defense though, just kills everything and everyone before it gets to her

-> spent an ungodly amount of game money to buy pretty outfits

Hester -> sorceress

-> spent hours trying to figure out the best character for her playing style

->somehow has mastered all the spells involving explosions

-> always in the first line of attack

-> extremely powerful but very prone to getting killed in the first seconds of the match

-> doesn't like to say she depends on backup but the rest of the coven somehow needs to save her often

Anadil -> assassin

-> mostly plays from the shadows without getting discovered

-> usually prefers playing in team as support but also really powerful on her own

-> spends a lot of time making her skills as balanced as possible

-> somehow always plans the strategy

-> the person that spends hours on choosing the best possible armour and weapons

Dot -> cleric

-> just wanted to spend some time with her friends at first, ends up enjoying the game a lot

-> likes playing support even though it's extremely underrated

-> doesn't really do attack stuff unless forced to, usually just healing and defense

-> usually a team player

Nicola -> paladin

-> unlike most others, she prefers playing alone to playing in team

-> her whole character was built around the fact she planned to play on her own

-> and she's way too good

-> she switches between guilds as an exchange player to help out and is very widely respected

Kiko -> druid

-> usually just wanders around with cute animals and smiles

-> then she absolutely destroys you in combat

-> she always says she does it for the joy of playing with her friends

-> she very much just wants to win

Hort -> assassin

-> just chose the character that sounded the coolest and edgiest

-> soon regretted it since his playing style is to rush towards the enemy and try to not die in the process, which is not very compatible with the low defense his class has

-> Dot feels bad for him so she keeps him alive during matches

-> Hester and Anadil often use him as the necessary sacrifice in battles

Beatrix -> fighter

-> she shocked everyone with her character choice but her whole team supports her

-> usually rushes into combat side-by-side with Tedros

-> would be first one to sacrifice herself heroically if Reena wasn't obviously biased in her favour and didn't let her

Reena -> cleric

-> never really plays in the front line

-> supports her friends from behind

-> doesn't mind playing the underrated role, it makes it even more fun to her

-> really powerful even though she barely shows it

Millicent -> druid

-> not really a lot of reasoning for this one, I just have her associated with nature

Chaddick -> archer

-> he prefers bow in the series too so that's it, that's all my reasoning

Ravan -> fighter

#sge #sge alternative universe #sge video game au #school for good and evil #the school for good and evil #agatha of woods beyond #sophie of woods beyond #tedros of camelot #beatrix of jaunt jolie #hester of ravenswood #anadil of bloodbrook #dot of nottingham #reena of pasha dunes #nicola of woods beyond

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justoneday-namjoonii · 3 years

Text

Quarters. | 9

☼1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9

prompt: “I don’t know why I’m crying, I just-...I really love you, like, just staring at you really fucks me up.” — soul-gazing

pairing: Jungkook x reader

warnings/au: please keep warnings in mind—dysfunctional relationship with a capital D, toxic relationship themes, but they’re attempting to get better, probably inaccurate therapy but i tried, m-ish, humor(i try), mentions of drug usage, cheater cheater pumpkin eater?, fluff, angst, boxer!au, iceskater!au.

authors note: Hello!!💖it’s been a while since the last update but here we are. ✨This chapter is pretty long✨. Unlike some of the other parts, it is following the timeline of the previous part(pt. 8) so just keep that in mind. See m.list for other parts. Enjoy!🥰

“Do it again, you need to stop relying on your right leg so much!”

Your coach yells for the third time in the last hour, she’s being a tyrant today. Your poor ankles are about to break off, your legs are straining and the cold air is starting to feel like vengeful needles. It’s been about two months since the incident with your leg and the doctor at your last check up granted you freedom to skate again. You’re glad it did to because you were about to go crazy. After the scandal came out about you and your ex-coach judge, she asked you if you wanted to get back into pairs. She went on about how Lucas was open to joining pairs again and that maybe you could get back with him—tempting offer. You’ve thought about it, though you still haven’t made a decision. It has been months since your injury, you can no longer use it as an excuse to take things easy.

Determined to get it right, you skate back to your starting point and try it again. You skate forward, bending your knees just slightly to gain more momentum and once you turn, you take off into a triple salchow. Perfect.

”Finally,” You mutter, skating over to the edge of the rink where your coach is just getting off a phone call.

“Okay, Lucas will be here on Thursday to practice with you,” She smiles, tucking her phone in her pocket, “there’s a competition in two months and I think you two should sign up for it.”

“Coach, I haven’t decided if I want to get back into that,” You put on your blade guards and walk over to the lockers, “I just don’t know yet.”

“Think about it,” She leans against the lockers as you untie your skates and put them in your bag, “if you’re seriously pursuing this career, you have to be flexible. You’re not getting any younger. I hate it just as much as you do but you’ll get positive exposure with him and maybe even pick up a sponsor for the season.”

“Fine,” You zip up your duffel bag and slip your hoodie on, deciding to leave the yoga pants on, “but I need a break. I worked a night shift last night so I’m only standing because I took three espresso shots and I’m about to take another one, I’m exhausted.”

“I know you are, try to get some rest this weekend. You’ll be at the ballet studio for half of next week so you won’t be on the ice,” She says that, hoping it’ll give you some relief, “just don’t forget to soak your feet tonight.”

You gather your stuff and walk out of the center, waving at Carrie the desk clerk like a zombie. It’s only 8 o’clock but you’ve been here for two hours, you feel like you’re in a time loop. An eternal warp created to keep you totally spent. When you hop in your car, you crank it up and turn the heat on. Not long after, your eyelids begin to feel heavy so you drive over to the closest coffee shop. When you look down at your phone, you see a missed call from Jeon Jungkook. All prior emojis have been removed from his contact.

His call will stay missed, just like the other five. You’re not in the mood for his sob story. About two weeks ago, you decided that you two needed to take a break but he took it hard. You remember sitting on your couch with crossed arms and staring at him as he twisted and squirmed uncomfortably.

“What kind of break?”

Are there different kinds?

“The kind where we stop seeing each other all the time, I don’t know what kind that is, Jungkook. But I can’t deal with this right now, it’s causing me major stress and anxiety...”

“You can’t deal with me?” He sounds hurt.

“Not with you Jungkook, with your crap. I have a ice skating career to try to work out, a job, school, the last thing I need to worry about is whether you can control yourself,” You frown, “you were just at my house with my niece and next thing I know you’re out getting high and fooling around with other girls.”

“You’re still upset about the photo,” He concludes, “baby, I told you, it didn’t go anywhere with that girl, I pushed her off. I wasn’t completely sober but I know I didn’t let her-”

“That’s exactly my point, you were doing drugs. And for what? You don’t need it. I understand a little bit of smoking every now and then but I can’t handle when you do that other stuff. That night was a disaster. I got stabbed, how does that even happen? But of course, it would happen to me,” You massage the sides of your temples. “I’m just over it, I’m tired.”

“You want to give up on us? Just like that? I’ve apologized a thousand times, I don’t know how to prove to you that I’m sorry,” He twiddles his fingers and bites at his bottom lip, “I don’t know what else to do.”

“I’m not giving up,” You defend, “we need some space to work on our selves.”

“Why can’t we work on ourselves together?”

“We’ve been doing that and it doesn’t work.”

The conversation continued on until you two ended up arguing for a good hour before you lied, saying you had to go to class. He left and you haven’t heard from him since, not a a call, a text, a call, not even a like on any of your recent posts. He’s taking this well.

“Why did you do that!? She’s gonna think I called her,” Jungkook snatches the phone from Jimin, “fuck, are you trying to get me killed?”

“Come on,” Jimin roles his eyes with a grin, putting his boxing gloves back on, “you guys can’t stay away from each other, you expect me to believe you two aren’t talking-”

“I’m serious, we haven’t talked for weeks,” Jungkook locks his phone with a frown, tucking it in his gym bag, “she’s done with me.”

“Oh, aw man,” He is serious, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you guys broke up.”

He had been by you and Jungkook for the entirety of the relationship, it always seemed like you preferred things to be spontaneous. Admittedly, he knew Jungkook would do something that pushed you over the edge one day but he didn’t think it would be so soon.

“We didn’t break up,” Jungkook mumbles, tying his hair back with a head band, “we’re just taking a break, that’s what she told me at least.”

“Aw, that sucks,” Jimin has to contain his amusement, it’s not funny but the fact that Jungkook is giving you full control over the relationship is unusual to him.

“Every time I think about trying to talk to her, I just remember that face she makes and that tone she uses. That’s when I know she does not give a single fuck, it’s scary.”

“Is there a reason she’s being so hard on you? Don’t get me wrong, you were in the wrong. You shouldn’t have been there but it’s been weeks.”

“Her past relationship was rough on her mentally and emotionally. When she was young she had some things happen to her that causes her to have a hard time trusting others.”

“If you knew that then why did you do what you did?”

“I don’t know, okay? Everyone's been beating me up about it but I just don’t have an answer for you. I said I was sorry,” Jungkook shakes his head, fists making brunt contact with the punching bag, “I just I miss her,”

“It’ll be alright, she’ll come around,” Jimin holds the bag, keeping it still for the lovesick boy, “just give it some time. Hey, I’m taking my niece to the ice-skating rink in town, you should come!”

Jungkook, dramatically collapses to the ground, laying back on the ground with his boxing gloves on his face. “Ice-skating, why would you suggest ice-skating!?” He whines. “That’s literally what she does, it’s just going to remind me of her...”

“Aw Kook, I know,” Jimin can’t help but giggle at Jungkook’s overreaction, “that’s okay, you’ll be fine, and besides,” He pulls him up from the ground and pushes his shaggy hair back, “you can’t stay away from each other forever..”

“What about this one?” You step out of the dressing room, turning from side-to-side to let her see, “I like the color.”

“That’s the one,” Harmony scrolls through her phone, eyes going between you and the screen, “perfect.”

“Harmony, you’re just saying that!” You whine, turning to look into the mirror again with a frown.

“Y/n, this is the 11th dress you’ve tried on, it looks great. I’m serious.”

“Okay, I’ll go with this one then,” You smile, going back in the dressing room to change back into your clothes. Yuna’s having a party for the charity she works with. All of the money donated goes to buying toys and clothes for kids in foster care and orphanages, you attend every year.

“You know, I heard Jungkook might come with Taehyung,”

Ugh, you forgot that your groups of friends are also friends. Jeon Jungkook, you still consider him your boyfriend in some aspects, but you don’t want to face him right now. Maybe you’re dragging this out too far but honestly, you don’t care. You love him but right now, you’re doing too well to let him crawl himself back into your life. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t creeping on his social media every now and then, you do care enough to see how he’s doing on there.

“Hm,”

“That’s all you have to say?” She giggles.

“Yup.”

“Did you officially dump his ass yet?”

You step out of the dressing room, rolling your eyes harder than necessary.

“Look, what happened to you was terrible. You couldn’t skate because of him. You caught him with another girl and you still let him take you home,” She was still bitter about Jungkook taking you away the way he did, she still thinks she should have insisted more.

You clear your throat, “I rather not talk about it.”

It’s been admittedly awkward every time one of your friends bring that night up. On one hand, you understand why they bash him so hard but on the other hand, it’s hard to hear. You two leave the mall and grab lunch to eat in the comfort of your car..

During this break, you’ve decided to try and take things slow, relax. Admittedly, it would be nice to have Jungkook around again, to run errands with, to cuddle with. It’s hard not to miss him, you knew it would be.

“We should go to the pop-up ice-skating rink on campus today, it’s a family thing I think,” Harmony squeezes ketchup onto her fries with a thoughtful him, “it sounds fun.”

“It’s funny you say that, Lucas invited me to go ther. He was going to go with his family, I told him I probably wouldn’t be able to.” You sigh.

“Oh, that’s right! The prince is back in town,” Harmony always had a thing for Lucas, even in high school. When you two were partners years ago, she still had a crush on him, “then we definitely should go. Are you getting back into pairs with him?

“Yeah, we’ll do one season together next year.” You have to admit, you are excited to get back into the practice with one of your best friends.

“I’ll definitely have to brush up on my ballet lessons and I was always a bit too shaky during lifts. Our instructions used to say if I don’t look comfortable during lifts on the stable ground, I can’t expect to look good while I’m being lifted and Lucas is still skating. I trust Lucas a lot more now so I think it’ll go well,”

“Jungkook will love that.”

You take a bite of your chicken sandwich with a heavy sigh, “He’ll live...”

“Uncle,” Yona sits with her little brother in the back seat while they wait for Jungkook to finish pumping the gas, “why does your friend look so grumpy? Doesn’t he want to go skating with us?”

Jimin glances back at Yona and smiles, thinking of how he should explain Jungkook’s situation. “He’s just upset, he’s fine.”

“What is he upset about?” Jimin hesitates for a moment but Jungkook signals that he’s running inside for something.

“Well,” He turns to face her, “can you keep a secret?” She eagerly nods. “Kookie is a little sad because he misses his girlfriend.”

“Oh, what happened to her?” Yona frowns, fearing what Jimin might say.

“Nothing happened to her, he’s okay, they just haven’t seen each other in a long time,” He rakes his brain, trying not to say too much about Jungkook’s love life, “but it’s okay, he’s alright. Just try to understand, he’s not trying to be a grump, he’s just a big teddy bear who pretends to be tough when he’s sad,” He grins, “but don’t tell him I said that.”

“Oh,” She nods adorably, pitying Jungkook, “I won’t,”

in the nick of time, Jungkook comes back with a receipt and mumbles something about the poor management in the convenience store. Jimin notices how Yona looks at him with sympathetic eyes but Jungkook doesn’t seem to notice. He’s too wrapped up in his phone to see that a 9-year-old is pitying his dysfunctional love-life.

It doesn’t take long before the four of them arrive at the skating rink and Jimin is helping, Juda, Yona’s sleepy 5-year-old brother out of the car. Yona takes the liberty of escorting her self out and walking over to Jungkook.

“Hi,” She looks up at him, not even a little intimidated by his towering stature over herself.

Jungkook looks around, as if she’s talking to someone else. “Hi,” He gives her a small wave, “it’s Yona, right?”

“Yes,” She nods, walking by his side, “uncle said your girlfriend skates, do you skate too?”

Jungkook mentally cringes, bracing himself for whatever Jimin told this little girl about his personal life. “No, I’m a boxer, she’s the skater.”

“Ahh, ice skating is prettier than boxing, you should ice skate too,” She looks back at Jimin and Juda walking side by side, wondering if she should walk with them or stay with Jungkook. Just when she was about to further judge Jungkook’s life choices, Jimin and Juda catch up. Jimin leads the four of them to the skate rental booth where Jungkook avoids eye contact with the girls behind the counter. It’s hard enough to be in your environment, let alone be surrounded by couples and families skating to their hearts content. It’s not the same without you, it doesn’t feel like he should even be trying to enjoy himself after what he did to you.

Jimin and the kids get their skates on, but Jungkook tells them to go ahead without him. The more he sits here, the less he wants to be here.

“We decided to come and skate for a little bit, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to take your invitation, I didn’t think I’d be able to come.” You and Harmony skate out onto the ice.

Lucas stands at the edge of the rink, smiling. “It’s okay, I’m here with my family so don’t sweat it, hey! You wanna practice a routine, for old time sake?”

“There are way too many people to be practicing a routine. Besides, I’m already sore from practice yesterday.”

“Where’s your boyfriend? I thought you told me he skates with you sometimes,” He skates a circle around you, a toothy grin on his face, “I want to meet him.”

“He was busy,” You lie. You don’t know where Jungkook is or what he’s doing, “It’s just us.″

Somehow, he believes you and skates off with his family while you breathe.

“You lie,” Harmony shakes her head as if to say shame on you.

“What was I supposed to say? I’m not gonna burden him with my personal problems.”

You two go back and forth until she surrenders, claiming she’ll leave you a Jungkook’s relationship out of her mouth for the rest of the day. You highly doubt she can but you appreciate the effort.

Nononononono—why is he here? And blonde. Your eyes widen, your palms get sweaty, just seeing him affects you. You’ve missed him. Judging by the way he’s sitting on the bench with his skates beside him, he looks sad. Who is he here with?

”Y/n, Harmony, hey!” Jimin skates over to you with two little kids by his side, they’re so cute. “What’re you two doing here?”

”Jimin? Hi, fancy meeting you here, we decided to come last minute,” You’ve connect the dots now, “who are these two cuties?”

“I’m babysitting my niece and nephew,” He holds both of your hands and the both of them say a shy little greeting, “say hello guys,”

“Hi,” Yona waves at you two and you greet her with a bright smile.

Jimin glances back at Jungkook who has yet to notice you. “Y/n, can I talk to you for a minute?” You nod.

“Harmony can you please watch them for a second?” “Me? Um, I guess but-”

You skate to the edge of the rink and Jimin follows, you already anticipating what this conversation is about.

“Jungkook is here.”

“I know, I saw him,” You deadpan.

“Look, I know what happened between you guys and he probably doesn’t want me to say this, but he’s been the biggest bitch since you two split, I’ve never seen him so at odds with himself.”

“What am I supposed to do about that? That’s not my fault.” You frown.

“I’m not saying that you need to do anything,” Now he understands what Jungkook meant about your infamous tone. “I just wanted to let you know, I figured you haven’t talked.”

“I’m sorry,” You hold your face in your hands, “I’m not trying to be mean, I just have a lot on my mind and I wasn’t expecting to have to deal with him today.”

“Maybe you two can talk, I’m not saying you should get back together but maybe talking face to face will help you find common ground?”

That’s advice that you know you should take but the thought of talking to him makes your stomach uneasy. It’s easier to ignore him, erase him from your life while you figure out what you want. You’re very childish in the aspect of talking things out, he is too.

“Here he comes,” Jimin looks over at Jungkook who is slowly approaching you two, “I’ll give you two some space-”

“Jimin, I swear, if you did this on purpose!-” Your threat is cut short when he skates away and Jungkook skates up to you. As if you don’t even see him, you quickly skate away, uninterested in anything he might have to say.

Jungkook knows he can’t possibly out-skate you. He mumbles a few curses before skating over to Jimin and the kids as frustrated as ever. For a moment, he almost changed course because Harmony, his biggest hater, is with them and she is one of the last people he wants to see.

“Jungkook, hey,” Jimin sighs, dreading the angry frown in Jungkook’s brows, “I’m glad you decided to-”

“Did you know she was here?” Jungkook cuts straight to the punch, not paying any mind to Harmony whose staring at him as if he’s a mass murderer.

“No,” Jimin shrugs, voice low in order not to alarm the kids who are skating near by, “you know I would have told you.”

“I’ll be in the car.” He skates off, anxious to get off the ice but he’s stopped when another skater bumps into his shoulder.

“Sorry!-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jungkook shrugs, but just when Jungkook was about to leave the guy gives him a weird look.

“Wait, what’s your name? You look so familiar,”

“Jungkook,” He responds with a bit of impatience, “I don’t think I know you from anywhere, sorry-”

“You’re Y/n’s boyfriend! She showed me some of her pictures pictures,” Lucas smiles but Jungkook’s eyes darken, “I’m Lucas, we’re competing in pairs again next season, I’m sure she’s told you.”

“Oh, I didn’t know, probably slipped her mind,” You haven’t mentioned it on purpose. Then again, how could you? You haven’t talked in weeks.

Just when he thought this day couldn’t get any worse, he meets your partner, and he’s not ugly,

“She said you couldn’t come because you were busy, did you come to surprise her?”

“Something like that- I’m sorry, I gotta go.”

“Okay, well...nice to meet you,” Lucas waves him off but Jungkook doesn’t pay him any mind.

He thought this might go differently, why did he think that? As soon as he saw you, that tug in his heart came back, that desire to be around you came back. When you walked away, it made him feel like crap, you didn’t even want to look at him.

While he’s skating off to the side to leave the rink, he sees you taking off your personal skates and putting them in their bag. Of course, your caddie is right next to where his heavy black boots are. He enters the room opens the caddie with the little pass-code they gave him when he rented the skates. You spare him a glance as you tie your sneakers and he sits to get his shoes on.

“Did you have to ignore me like that?” He decides to speak up.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You frown, “I don’t even know why you’re here.”

“Since when did you start caring where I go?” He bites back. “You’ve been ghosting me for fucking weeks and suddenly I’m not allowed to go out?”

“I didn’t want to see you...I was doing so good, I was forgetting about you.” You lean back, not giving him eye contact.

”Wow, just what I wanted to hear,” He thought you would say something like that but he didn’t expect you to be so blunt.

“You can’t say you’re surprised, can you?”

“No, but the least you can do is talk to me.”

”Fine, that’s fair. What do you have to say?” You stand to your feet, your bag tight in your hand/

”Believe it or not,” He gets up to lean on the wall behind him, “I love you, so I'm letting you drag me along and make all of the rules but I’m just asking that you communicate with me, I need to know what you want,” He tends to ask this question when he’s most desperate for your good side to emerge.

“Why don’t you tell me what you want? I’m not the one going around making decisions that hurt our relationship, not recently anyway.” You throw a jab at him, you couldn’t contain it anymore.

“If you’re trying to make me feel like shit, you’ve succeeded. You’ve been succeeding for weeks now, it’s actually starting to get to me, mentally.” As he says that, an unsuspecting few individuals come in to get there things.

“Can-” You pause and walk over to him to eliminate the awkward distance, “Can we talk about this somewhere else?”

His spirits brighten a little because at least you’re interested in continuing the conversation, you haven’t even attempted to do that until now. So when he stutters out an “okay”, his feet move as soon as yours do. He’s walking right next to you and you find yourself keeping your arms crossed, away from his hands that you would normally be holding. By the time you walk out to the rink, Jimin is still with the kids and Harmony is gone, probably in the restroom. You find a secluded area near the concession area and take a seat, he does the same right across from you.

“Do you want to break up?”

He puts it out there. He’s never been the one to hesitate, especially when his heart is on the line.

“What do you mean?” You swallow, not expecting to be confronted with that question.

He almost scoffs because you’re having a similar reaction to his reaction to you telling him you wanted to take a break.

“Do you not want to be in a relationship anymore? If this isn’t something you’re willing to do anymore, I need you to tell me so I can grieve in peace...I feel really lost right now.”

“Grieve? I’m not going to die if we break up, Jungkook, and I never said I wanted to break up—I never said I didn’t love you either. That’s not what this is about, it’s not about whether we love each anymore, it’s about trust.”

“How can I gain your trust?”

You look around, making sure no one is listening in on you two before mumbling out your answer. “I don’t know...I just don’t trust you, I can’t tell you how to make it up to me because people who screw me over, I normally stay as far away from them as I can.”

All you can think about is the lies from your birth-mother, the betrayal and humiliation that came over you when you found out about your ex. Situations like that always come to mind when the subject of trust is mentioned. You’ve been hurt and Jungkook knows that, he knows when you feel like you can’t trust someone, you shut down. You want nothing to do with that person, your pain blinds you—its your character flaw.

“You’re lucky I’m even talking to you right now,” You mumble, nibbling at your bottom lip.

“Yeah, I know.” He scoffs, a look of disbelief that turns into an understandable shrug of his shoulders.

“I’ve always thought of you as someone I didn’t deserve, you know that,” He glances down at his twiddling fingers, “when we got together, you changed me and I’m so grateful for that...I was such a shitty person before I met you- I mean, I’m sure you think I’m shitty now but I was way worse.” It surprises you when you see tears welling at his eyes that he quickly wipes away, tattooed fingers getting a bit wet.

“Jungkook,” You lay a hand over his with sympathetic eyes, “I still love you.”

“Seriously?” He glances up at you, surprised.

“Yes...You hurt me, you made me feel stupid and I’m not over it...But I never forget those times where I made life difficult for you, you never made me feel irredeemable. No matter how awful I acted, you never made me feel like a burden. That’s more than I can say about a lot of people in my life.”

The more you talk this out with him, the more you realize how harshly you’ve been treating him. It doesn’t change how you feel about your relationship, but it does open your eyes to the standard you’ve been holding him to. You don’t know if you’re ready to start again.

“Well, I have to be honest with you,” He looks at you through his dirty blonde locks, “it still hurts like hell to have you treat me like a stranger. That shit is painful, even for me.”

“I’m sorry,” You murmur out an apology before you can really think about it, “I’m just upset at you is all...” Slowly, you take your hand off of his and your eyes wander back to his dear-like eyes.

“Everyone’s telling me I should let you go but I don’t want to. I just need to know that you’re willing to wait for me, and to work on yourself...”

“I’ll do anything, I’ll do whatever it takes for us,”

Shortly after that day, you found yourself thinking more and more about your future. It made you cringe at one point, what were you planning to do with the rest of your life? Whatever you planned to do, you always imagined Jungkook would be by your side. Now, you’re coming to terms with the fact that things may not go as planned.

“Y/n, are you ready?” Lucas calls your name from outside of the dressing room.

”What are you doing in here? This is the woman’s locker room,” You open the door, now fully dressed in your new leotard.

”We’re the only ones here,” Lucas stands with a matching outfit, far less sparkly as yours.

”Why does she always pick these leotards for me? You always get the toned down looks-” You walk over to the mirror, furrowing your brows, “Oh, actually, this one is kinda nice.”

“She knows you’re the most dramatic out of the two of us, maybe that’s why,” He shrugs his shoulders before quickly running back out into the ballet studio. Your least favorite part of your career is the ballet lessons, it’s the most grueling.

“Come on out, Y/n, we only have the studio for the morning so we need to use our time wisely.”

“Sorry,” You walk out with an urgency, “the costume fits okay, a little snug but it’s doable.”

Coach gives you a knowing look, she’s been floating the idea of a diet around. As committed as you are to your craft, dieting is one thing you don’t think you need to do well. You try to stay fit but sometimes you’re more concerned about your dwindling love life than you dress size. The ballet instructor emerges from around the corner and you cringe, the next few hours are about to be painful.

Yet, as the class progresses, your thoughts drift farther from the positions and you find yourself zoning out completely.

At one point in time, you couldn’t imagine being without Jungkook. Out of all of the people who’ve come and gone out of your life, he stayed. He became your best friend and your first love.

“I don’t want to be here anymore, please, just let me go home,” You sat on the hotel room floor, hair pin in your hands and a painfully cold ice bag on your ankle, “...I can’t go back out there.”

She stands with crossed arms, her unchanging expression not doing anything for your emotional state.”Y/n, you are a professional, and do you know what professionals do?”

”No.”

“They finish the competition, no matter what. You need to stay for the judging, “

“Why? I fell on my biggest jump on live television. Cindy. I look like an amateur...There’s no way in hell they’ll even consider placing me. That means I’m done for, I might as well kiss nationals goodbye.”

”That was the last program, you still have a chance-“

”Not after Charlotte’s routine! You said it yourself, I had to be flawless or Charlotte would take my spot in the qualifying team, there was no room for error. This is the one time it had to be perfect...” You use the bed to help you up and you sit down n the edge of it.

”It won’t be perfect every time. You work harder than any girl I know, and not just in this sport, you work hard at whatever you do and you support yourself, you’re the only girl I know who’s parents aren’t paying for you to be here. You deserve to be here, you made one mistake, one. It’s not the end of the world, sweetheart,” Cindy takes a seat beside you, a comforting hand going to your shoulder, “these things happen.”

You take a deep breath, trying to calm down and think rationally. Cindy is trying her best to talk you off of the ledge but you’re very much still there. She says you work so hard, but what do you have to show for it? You’re doing this alone a majority of the time. Your family only comes to support you sometimes, they don’t have a lot of free time to spend on your hobby. Your iceskating is a glorified hobby to them, they won’t say it but it’s true. After they told you to pick a major and find a good paying 9-5, they stopped paying for your iceskating. They’re paying for school but that’s it, you’re supporting yourself in every other aspect. That gave you all the reason to try to prove to them that you were an exceptional athlete. To prove to them that you did it all on your own, that’s your only goal. Yet, the more you reach for that, the farther you get from it.

”Listen, I need to check on the other girls, alright? I hope you reconsider.” She pecks your forehead, a motherly affection that you’ve come to appreciate from her. She is like a mom in some ways. She cares for the entire team, and she would never say it, but she has a particular soft spot for you. She can see how much you want this, how the ice can take you to a different place.

You were meant to do this, she always tells you that. She saw the fire in you as soon as she accepted you on her team. Your passion attracted her to you, you never stopped, you had so much drive. Some people are meant to fight tooth and nail for what they want, sometimes you have to ask yourself, why do I have be one of those people?

Ignoring your better judgment, you packed your bags and took the 2-hour drive back to your apartment. All while you were fleeing the city to seek refuge at home, you received multiple phone calls from Jungkook but you couldn’t bring yourself to call him back. When you got home, you took off your tracksuit and sank face first into your coach.

As much as you wanted Jungkook to come to the competition, you insisted that he stay and take that job. He hasn’t been boxing as much so any extra art job he can take, you encourage him to take it. He told you he’d streamed the competition while working on the mural at a nearby bar. His heart sank when you took that fall. You put hours of practice into that routine and perfected it, he had seen you do it flawlessly several times.

All he wanted to do was hug you and tell you that you did well but all he could do was hope that you weren’t beating yourself up. He could only imagine how devastated you were and to not be able to be there for you, he couldn’t stand it. He finished up the mural and you had finally texted him saying, ‘I came home early.’ He went straight to your apartment with the big pink bunny he bought for you, you need it even more now.

”Hey, it’s me,” He opened the front door and announced himself softly and walks further inside.

The television barely illuminates the living room but he sees you laying on the couch. He sits the bunny down behind the couch so you can’t see them before walking around to greet you in your depressing state.

“I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow, baby,” He rests a hand on thigh and kisses your cheek, “you must’ve known how much I was missing you,” His attempt to make you smile goes painfully unnoticed.

He bites at his bottom lip in thought. “Did something happen?...”

You swallow the lump in your throat and finally look him in the eyes, “Did you watch my second program?”

“I did, you looked beautiful-”

“I’m quitting.”

He turns his whole body to you, brows deeply furrowed like a cartoon character. “What?”

You cover your face with a pillow, successfully hiding your tears, “I’m calling Cindy to tell her I don’t want to do it anymore, I quit.”

“Woah, wait, why?” He takes the pillow from you to see your face, “Y/n, calm down, what’s going on? Tell me what happened.”

“I- I didn’t make the national team, that was my only chance until next year. All my hard work went down the drain and everyone saw me screw up..” You wipe your tears with your sleeve.

“Hey, it’s okay, you cry if you need to,” He pulls you into a hug, cradling your head to his chest, “I know this is tough for you but it’s not the end of the world, it’ll get better.”

You pull away from him as if he were suddenly hot to the touch and bury your face into the arm of the couch. “You wouldn’t understand, the pique of my career was riding on this, and I blew it. It feels like the end of my world, okay?”

You know your words are muffled by the couch, that’s probably for the better anyway. “T- that’s just how I feel...”

He doesn’t pry any further after that. He knows there’s not much he can say to change your mind right now. Instead, he scoots closer to your side and places a comforting hand on your back, rubbing soothing circles as he waits for you to continue.

“I have nothing if I lose this, there’s all this pressure on my shoulders and its tearing me apart...” You turn to wipe your face and sit up. “I love skating, it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do...if I stop, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

You’ll never forget that night.

He lifted you into his lap and kept his arms tight around you. “You’re so much more than just your skating. You’re so good at but it’s not all that you are.” Jungkook has a way of talking you off of the edge but that night, you were especially down on yourself.

“Yes it is...”

“No it’s not,” He sighs, “look, I know what it feels like to find your identity in something and then all of a sudden, that something is gone...When my portfolio got rejected, I felt like a failure. My family never got behind the boxing thing, so I’ve always tried to find another way to support myself just in case for whatever reason it doesn’t work out...I didn’t start realizing that until recently. I’m constantly torn between giving up one dream for the other but I want to do both, you actually inspire me to do both.” You furrow your brows, briefly abandoning your own issues to listen to him.

“You work so hard and you’re showing your family that you can do this, you just have to believe in yourself, and you know what? You’re doing amazing. Tonight was just a bad night, it happens.” He squeezes you tight and you do the same, arms fastened around his neck as if it would kill you to let go.

You didn’t need to say anything after that. You settled your mind and you were no longer at the edge, you were still close, but not there. With your head resting over his shoulder, you try to peek over the couch to see what he dropped back there when he walked in.

“Hey, what’d you think you’re doing?” Jungkook leans forward and your grip around him is loosened so you can no longer look back there. “You think I got something for you?”

You look down a bit embarrassed that he caught you, “Well, yeah...you did, didn’t you?” You smile for the first time tonight and he breathes a sigh of relief. Finally.

He was going to tease you for wanting your gifts even though you just had a meltdown. But how could he? He wants to keep this smile on your face for as long as possible.

“Sit,” He lifts you off his lip and back to your previous seat on the couch, “no peeking.”

You hold your hands over your eyes, excited even thought have no idea what it might be.

“Okay, open.”

When you move your hands to see you squeal in excitement. “Oh, Jungkook! It’s so cute!” You stand up to take the pink bunny that’s almost more than half your size. “Thank you,” You lean into him with the bunny between you two, “it’s so big and soft, like you.”

“Yeah I know,” He sways from side-to-side with you in his arms, “you feeling better?”

You muffle your sigh into the stuffed animal, “I still wanna quit.”

“Oh stop,” He pulls the from your grip and tosses it onto the couch, “you’re just being bratty now,”

“No I’m not,” You whine, the issue still very fresh, “I’m still sad...I just really like my gift and I’m happy to see you...But I am still upset.”

“Aw, I’m sorry,” He lays on the couch and beckons you into his arms to lay on his chest, “let’s cuddle you until you feel better then, will that help?”

“Maybe...”

You’d be lying if you said you could live without that side of him.

A few days later, you’re surprised you hadn’t heard from him. But when you get back from the gym with a missed call from him and a solemn text to ‘call back when you can’, you actually call him back.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, nothings wrong. Thank you for calling me back.”

His voice sounds relaxed but a bit anxious.

“Did you need something?” You sigh, pouring your boiling water in your mug.

“Are you free to go with me somewhere at 11? And then maybe, we could grab dinner? Just-...Don’t be mad, please.”

Anxiety bubbles in your chest.

“What’re you talking about?”

“I signed us up for couples therapy.”

“You did what?” Somewhere in your mind, you had wanted him to bring this up—you never imagined that he actually would.

”You said we don’t know how to work on ourselves together, I read that therapy helps with that. Will you go with me? If you don’t like it, you never have to do it again I swear.”

“Jungkook...I appreciate the effort, I really do, but how did you find this therapist? Do you trust them?”

”Of course. He has great reviews online and my-...Well, my mom found him actually.”

You pause, a bit taken aback. He talked to his mom about your relationship and he took her advice about seeing a therapist? He must have really taken your words to heart about getting help.

“Can you pick me up?”

“Sure, I’ll be there in 20.”

When he picked you up, you were reminded just how well he could clean up. Sure, he always dresses so well and smells amazing, but he’s different today—you can tell he put in a lot of effort. You’re glad you decided to do your makeup and where a nice sundress, you would have felt terribly under-dressed.

“Hi, how can I help you?

“Hi, we have an appointment for Jeon at 5, with Seojoon.”

You stand next to Jungkook at the front desk, your hands tightly clutching your purse. It’s hard to not think the woman is judging you and Jungkook for being here. She’s probably seen hundreds of people come into this office but something in you can’t shake the feeling. She directs you two to the waiting room and says he’ll come get you two in a few minutes.

“So,” You begin, glancing at Jungkook, “I’m nervous...”

“Me too.” This is new for the both of you. In only a few seconds, who you assume to be Seojoon emerges from the hallway and you look at him a bit wide-eyed.

“Hi, Jungkook, Y/n, are you two ready?”

“Oh, um, yes.” You stand up in sync with Jungkook, already wanting to run out of here but you resist.

You have to admit that the office is really nice, not stiff and sterile looking, the energy is very calming. Seojoon opens the door to a cozy-looking room with tons of natural sun light. There’s warm-rose colored couch that you assume is for ‘the couple.’

“Alright, you can take a seat right there, make yourselves comfortable.” He smiles, taking a seat and you two do the same.

“So let’s get right into it. What brought you two here today? If you could both tell me your separate answers, that would be great.” Despite Seojoon looking at you directly to presumably go first, you divert your eyes and look at Jungkook to say something first.

“Well, we’re- I think we’re going through a lot right now and I just want to save our relationship.” Jungkook sits back, resting against the arm of the couch as he gazes at you to give your answer.

“What about you, Y/n?”

You glance down at your lap, feeling very out of your comfort zone and not confident enough to verbalize what you would like to say. Alas, you try.

“I feel the same way, we’re not in a good place and I’m confused about what to do-...I just want what we used to have.” You confess a bit of your true feelings but ignore the longing look Jungkook gives you.

“When did you start feeling like the relationship was changing?”

“Fairly recently. We were fine, at least I thought we were until I saw him with another girl back in an old lifestyle that I thought he gave up...”

Seojoon diverts his attention away from you and to Jungkook. “Jungkook, do you want to share a little bit about that?”

“Not really,” He answers honestly at least.

“Why not?”

“To be honest, I don’t know why she keeps throwing the same jab at me. I’ve told her the truth but she doesn’t want to hear it. I went out that night,” He almost glares at you, “I didn’t plan to. I ran into an old friend and I just-...I thought it was harmless and I got caught up...”

Seojoon scribbles something down. “Okay, so can you fill me in a little bit. Are we talking about unfaithfulness? Addiction?”

“Unfaithfulness,” You interject. “he said he didn’t cheat on me but...” You mumble, your confidence faltering for some reason. “It’s hard to believe that.”

“But you think he did so you have some distrust. Were you unfaithful, Jungkook?”

“It doesn’t matter if I say I did or I didn’t, she thinks I did.” He shrugs.

”Y/n,” Seojoon puts an end to the death stare you had on Jungkook, “can you tell Jungkook what cheating looks like to you?”

”Not sleeping with her doesn’t mean you didn’t cheat on me. Letting her put her hands on you- And I don’t care if it was just a kiss! You shouldn’t have been in that situation, and for me to have to see it on social media? I could have killed you I was so mad. You should ask Jungkook what cheating is to him. We obviously have different standards for defining it...”

”What does cheating look like to you, Jungkook?” He heeds your suggestion without any push-back.

”To me,” He hesitates, feeling a bit scrutinized, “it’s when a person violates the intimacy of the relationship by giving it to someone else.”

“What kind of intimacy?”

“Emotional, physical, every kind,” He turns to you, “I wouldn’t do thingst that I do with Y/n with anyone else, not by choice-”

“Yes you would! You did...Are you trying to tell me that you were assaulted? That she forced her way on you?”

“I was blitzed! I don’t fucking know. All I do know is that she got on top of me and I pushed her off. That’s it. I swear, if anything else happened, I don’t remember it.”

“I don’t care. You know what I’ve been through, to even allow another girl to even get close to touching you like that...It was a slap in the face.”

Seojoon’s ears perk up at the mention of your past. “Did you have to go through a similar situation in a previous relationship?”

“Yes and he knows this. I was being cheated on before and the guy had a literal baby on the way throughout our entire relationship...It was traumatizing.” It stings his ears to hear you say that. But it’s true, he knows your past and he didn’t let it stop him.

“What happened must have triggered you,” You nod to yourself, “but you’re here to try to work through forgiveness and build trust. If you two are comfortable with it, I’d like you do do two exercises; one here and one when you’re alone. The first one that you’ll do here, I need you to face each other, preferably close, and I have some questions for you two to ask each other.”

“Like this?” Jungkook answers instantly and turns to you, getting closer to you than he has in weeks. You face him slowly, eyes wavering a bit. His face has always been a soft-spot for you, staring at him makes you feel weak.

“Actually,” Seojoon stands up, gesturing for you to do the same, “two chairs might be more comfortable, yeah? Let’s go to my other room.”

You follow Seojoon to a small room with three chairs a small table in front of them. Jungkooks pulls seat out so they’re facing each other. When you look up to acknowledge him with deliberate eye-contact, for a moment he thinks you might be softening.

“I want you all to start with ‘I’ statements, tell your partner how you feel or how you felt in this case. Try to maintain eye-contact and truly listen to each other.”

“I’ll go first,” You volunteer because you want to get this over with.

“I feel alone and helpless when you go back to your old habits, I feel like you’re hiding things from me...” You find a way to keep your eyes-locked to his.

“I’m not asking you to be perfect but I just want you to make me feel special to you...Like you wouldn’t dream of being with someone else. Because I don’t think of loving anyone else, and trust me I’ve tried to imagine it but I can’t,” You bite your cheek to keep from crying, “you make it so hard to trust you. You don’t listen and you don’t change until it’s too late.”

Being emotionally inept is something you are both too good at. It’s difficult for you to share your true feelings with a clear mind, but when you do, you can never guess what will happen next.

“I feel trapped by you. I know I fucked everything up, okay? You don’t have to keep reminding me.” His tone is harsher than you anticipated.

“I’m trying to put in the fucking effort to help us, and I’m giving you time. But when you tell me you still want me but you won’t even let me come around, it’s confusing. You’re confusing, that’s just how I feel.” His brows furrow and you notice Seojoon watches the exchange intently.

“But I miss you and I want you back, I don’t want to take a break,” He leans forward with his hands firmly gripping your knees over your dress, “I know you think I’m an asshole but I try to change, I’m trying, you know I wouldn't bring you to this if I could think of any other way to prove that to you.” The strain in his voice only stirs more emotions inside of you.

“Jungkook,” Seojoon calls his name softly and Jungkook looks over as if he forgot he was there, “try not to engage in any physical, okay? It can be overwhelming.”

“Sorry,” He takes his hands from you and sits back, “that’s all I want to say.”

“Alright, well, um,” Seojoon clears his throat, eager to break the tension up a little bit, “unfortunately our session is up but I want to give you two a list of exercises and talking points. I know this was a consultation appointment but I want to give you some things to work on at home. I’ll have Kelly type up your homework, alright?”

“Okay, thank you,” you both thank the therapist but you get up with an urgency and leave the room before Jungkook can follow you. When you make it out to the waiting room, you spot the bathroom and you bolt to it. Before you have to spend a car ride with him, you need to get your emotions together.

“Mr. Jeon,” The receptionist calls him from the hall, “this is for you, you can bring it back to the next appointment for a discount.” Jungkook halfheartedly thanks her before going to the car. He doesn’t even know if there will be another session. He needs to smoke before you come out and you’ll freak if he smokes while you’re in the car.

“Why did I come here...” You look at the mirror and frown, you look so rough. It was nice to get everything out in the open but you knew he’d get intense eventually. Only when the toilet flushed did you remember that there were multiple stalls in here. When you look away from the mirror to fumble through your purse, just trying to avoid talking to her.

”Hi, how are you?”

“I’m okay, how are you?”

“Oh god, nervous, I’m nervous. Me and my husband, we’re newly weds, our appointment is in five minutes and I really don’t know what to expect. Did you have an appointment with your partner?”

“I did,” You sigh, “it was-...It was fine, don’t be nervous.” In your attempt to comfort her, you find your self in a highly hypocritical position. “Me and my boyfriend, we’re different so ours was a little- A little chaotic but I think it helped a little,” You hesitate, “I don’t know.”

“That makes me feel a little better, hopefully my husband behaves himself,” She tosses her wavy brown hair over her shoulder and smiles, “well, it was nice meeting you.”

It takes you a moment but you gather the strength to wave goodbye and go face your boyfriend.

”Excuse me, Miss, I think your husband forgot to grab this.” The receptionist waves you over and hands you a little folder.

”Oh,” You try to hide the blush forming on your cheeks. he’s not my- We’re not married.”

”Oh, I’m sorry! He only put his last name on the appointment so I thought it was your name as well. Sorry about that, have a great rest of your day.” She bids you farewell with a flustered smile.

When you walk outside, you see Jungkook leaning against the car. You thought he might’ve been smoking but you can’t detect any small. That’s a relief.

”You feeling okay?” He questions gently.

You nod, hopping in the car with the desire to be home already. He gets in the car and glances at you from the corner of his eye, he worries that this might have been too much for you.

“Where do you want to eat?”

“There’s a ramen place down the street, that’s fine with me.” You suggest, eyes trained on your phone.

The air in the car isn’t tense or stiff, its just quiet. There’s a lot to unpack from the session and you figured Jungkook was thinking through it too. That’s why when you two arrived at the ramen shop, took your seats, and placed your orders, the silence was getting to be a bit too awkward for you.

“I like the new hair, you’ve never gone this blonde before,” You glance up at him, trying to start a conversation, “it looks good.”

“Thanks, it was an impulsive thing. I heard you decided to get back into pairs,” He brings the coke to his lips, “I was surprised to hear that.”

“Oh, yeah,” You figured he would find out soon, “I’m back with Lucas for the season.”

“Good for you,” That’s not a reaction you were expecting from anti-pairs-skating Jungkook. Then again, you know him well enough to know that he’s probably keeping his true opinion to himself.

“The receptionist gave this to me,” You pull the paper out of your purse and show it to him, “I think it has additional information.”

“Let me see,” You hand it to him, “hm, soul-gazing? What the hell is that...” He reads over the description and it makes him giggle. “Nonverbal communication between lovers, allows couples to explore intimate places in the relationship. We do this already, but it’s a little more than eye contact,” He recalls those dreamy moments that he used to share with you so often, gazing at you with a smile.

“We can try that later maybe,” You avoid his smile with a glance out the window.

“Okay. So, about the session today, I hope you understood where I was coming from...I didn’t expect to say all that, I’m sorry if it was too much.”

“Don’t apologize, I wanted to hear how you felt.”

“I’m sorry,” He extends a hand out on the table, hoping you’ll take it, “I’ve thought about what I’ve done and I’ve tried to repent for it. But at the end of the day, it’s up to you. But just tell this once, you miss us, don’t you?”

“I do, Jungkook...It’s just, I’m in a tough spot and I don’t- I don’t want to disappoint anyone or myself.”

“You’re talking about your friends or your family?” He frowns at the thought of either party trying to discourage you.

“My family doesn’t know anything about this, it’s my friends who are concerned for me. They saw me get hurt and they don’t want to see it happen again, they want me to be happy.”

“Don’t listen to them, all they do is talk shit about me and try to tell you what you need. The only people who have a say in this relationship is you and me. We choose what makes us happy, not them.”

“But I’m not happy,” And it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still being judged, “I’ve actually been depressed when I think about us, when I think about what we used to have and what we have now, how did this happen?”

“I’m sorry I did this to you,” He sighs when you finally reach out to take his hand, “I never mean to hurt you,”

“I want you back so bad sometimes,” You break, letting your true feelings out to him, “but just because I want it doesn’t mean I should, it’s always been hard for me to separate the two.”

“That never stopped you before,” He flashes that smile, the one you fell so hard for on the roof of his car.

“Now look where I’m at,” You take your hand back, “going to therapy with you.”

Jungkook took you home and sunset had passed, it was already dark. You found yourself inviting him in, hugging him longer than you should have when he was on his way out. Why were you holding on to him so tight? His bomber jacket lands on the floor and you relish in his arms, you haven’t felt like this in a long time. Maybe it won’t hurt to let him in, indulge. It doesn’t take long before you let him kiss you for the first time in weeks. It feels new, it can happen a thousand times and it’ll always feel new.

But then your phone begins to ring and reality washes over you like a cold shower.

“Wait,” You pull away from the kiss and slide off of the counter to his dismay, “I need to get that-”

“Ignore it,” Jungkook cups your jaw, trying to persuade you with longing eyes, “please ignore it-”

“I can’t, it’s my mom, something might be wrong,” You quickly answer the phone and walk into the living room. “Hello?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at home, is something wrong?”

“You forgot, didn’t you? Your brother Leo, you were supposed to pick him up so he could stay with you for the night. me and your dad had to take Milo to his Taekwondo tournament for the weekend.” Your mother stresses over the phone.

“I’m so sorry! Mom, seriously, I totally forgot,” This is the worst possible timing, “doesn’t Leo have his license, he can drive here, can’t he?”

“We have the car. Don’t worry about it, it’s handled now, his friend came by and he’s staying with him.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how that crossed my mind,” You can’t help but feel as if you’ve disappointed her by forgetting such a simple thing, “I’ve been busy, I’m prepping for the next season, I’m working and in school, it’s a lot right now-”

The conversation ends with a cold lecture from her and a solemn goodbye when she hangs up. You massage your temples, and look at Jungkook who’s coping with the best part of his day being ruined by a phone call.

“Everything okay?”

“I forgot to pick up my brother, my mom asked if he could crash here but I forgot all about it..”

“When have any of your siblings actually visited you? Except for your sister when she needs a babysitter.” Jungkook always sports a defensive tone when your family comes into the conversation.

“He’s only come over a few times. But he has friends who live over here so that’s normally why,” You take a deep breath. “She sounded frustrated so I know she’s upset.”

”Don’t stress about that,” He comes in close, wrapping his arms around your waist. “your mom shouldn’t beat you up about that, especially since she knows how much you have on your plate.” He smooths down your hair and kisses your forehead gently. That innocent forehead kiss quickly migrated down to your neck and you bite your tongue.

”Jungkook, please,” You get out of his embrace and leave him longing.

"Why do you keep pushing me away? I know you, this isn’t like you. You push me away but never for this long,” He follows you to your bedroom where you kick off your shoes and take off you cardigan. ”If you’re serious about making this work again, you’ve gotta help me out a little here.”

You feel him looming behind you, so close that you feel the warmth of him on your lower-back, or is that his hand?

“You’re here, aren’t you? I’m being really nice right now,” You step away from him, “but you need to stop.”

“Stop what?” He feigns ignorance.

“If that’s what you were hoping for you should just go,” You pick up his jacket and hand it to him, “it’s not happening.”

“Ok, but do you mind if I stay the night?”

You stare at him in disbelief for a moment, debating whether or not that’s a good idea.

“Why? It’s not even that late yet.”

“I don’t want to make the drive home, I’ll leave first thing in the morning.” He pleads, those big round eyes helping his case immensely.

“Fine. But you’re on the couch,” He looks a bit disappointed but he was expecting that, “I’m gonna shower, you can wait for me or use the guest bathroom if you want.”

With that, you walk off into your bedroom to get your clothes and then into the bathroom in the hall. Though you hesitated to let him stay, it’s really not a big deal now that you think of it. He’s stayed over more times than you can count so you feel no need to punish him by saying no.

Baby steps.

Jungkook falls into the couch, relieved and anxious—but mostly relieved. He was sure you were going to throw him out. When he hears the shower turn on, he begins to wonder what you might be thinking about, do you want him the way he wants you right now? If so, you’re hiding it pretty well. Just being in your home makes him feel comfortable and happy, that and your presence. You’ll be a while in the shower so he figures a few moments of relaxation on the balcony won’t hurt.

When you step out of the steamy bathroom, you hug your robe tightly to your body. Curious to see what he’s doing you peek out of the hall and see him on the balcony, shirt nowhere to be seen and smoke wafting from the little stick in his finger. Jungkook has always been a temptation, a forbidden fruit so to speak. You had one bite, and that’s all it took.

It’s a warm night, that’s probably why he’s showing all of the neighbors his tattooed glory, you giggle to your self at the thought. You run to your room to slip a t-shirt and shorts on so you can join him, you can indulge him in conversation at least.

“Hey, I was going to get a snack,” You open the sliding door and he looks back at you as he exhales a a cloud, “are you hungry?”

“I’m okay,” He puts it out in the ashtray, “thanks,”

“You didn’t have to put it out for me,” You step onto the patio and close the door behind you.

“I was done anyway,” He says that but he clearly wasn’t, he’s just being sweet, “how was your shower?”

“Good,” You sit beside him, “you can go ahead and shower if you want to, you know where your clothes are.”

“I will in a minute,” He looks out, enjoying the view of the city, “it’s beautiful out here...”

“Yeah,” You smile, reminiscing on the many moments you two have shared together on the balcony.

“So,” Jungkook sighs, probably reminiscing on the same thing, “do you want to do that exercise?...”

“Exercise?- Oh, the eye-contact thing, we can...” You turn to him and he does the same, “so, do we-”

“Shh,” He holds a finger to his lips, “we’re not supposed to talk,”

You swallow, eyes locked on his and his on yours. His eyes are so dreamy and mesmerizing, they always have been. This eye-contact is giving you a great excuse to analyze his face. The little mole under his lip, his cute nose and cheeks—you’re trying not to look at his body but it’s hard to do that right now.

He’s doing the same thing to you. Your eyes, nose, lips, he’s just taking it all in as if your a sculpture at a museum. Looking at each other like this reminds you both to see each other, to really see the human you both decided to love.

“Jungkook,” You know you’re not supposed to talk, “don’t cry...” You thumb the tears away from his cheeks, your motherly habits kicking in.

“Shit,” He wipes his cheeks, “I don’t know why I’m crying, I just-...I really love you, like, just staring at you really fucks me up.” He’s so emotional, it’s more endearing than anything.

You cup his jaw and kiss the apple of his cheek, then his lips. His hands are almost shaky when he reaches up to hold your face, you lead his hand to your face to let him know that you don’t mind.

“I love you too,” You breath, your head in the nape of his neck, “but I can’t do this, I shouldn’t...”

Once you realize you’re no longer in your own chair but in his, it’s too late to pretend you’re not equally as desperate. It escalates and the best and worst happens.

#quarters #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #bts angst #bts smut #bts fluff #bts x you #jimin angst #jimin fluff #jungkook boxer!au #jungkook au #jungkook ice skatin #I don't know what this ending is lol

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