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daydreamerdrew · 8 months

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Comics read this past week:

Marvel Comics:

Captain America (2005) #22-25 and Captain America 65th Anniversary Special (2006) #1 and Winter Soldier: Winter Kills (2007) #1 and Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America (2007) #1

With these Captain America issues I went from September 2006 to March 2007, according to the Marvel Wiki. All were written by Ed Brubaker. Issues #22-24 were drawn by Mike Perkins and issue #25 was drawn by Steve Epting. The 65th Anniversary Special was written by Ed Brubaker and half drawn by Javier Pulido and half drawn by Marcos Martin, with a 2-page epilogue that was drawn by Mike Perkins. The Winter Kills issue was written by Ed Brubaker, penciled by Lee Weeks and Rick Hoberg, and inked by Lee Weeks, Stefano Gaudiano, and Rick Hoberg. And the Death of Captain America was written by Jeph Loeb, penciled by Leinil Francis Yu, and inked by Dave McCaig.

The 65th Anniversary Special told the story of Bucky’s brief romance with a girl during WWII, the one that was referenced in issues #16-17 of the main book. Initially I was a bit dissatisfied with the epilogue, which I thought took for granted the seriousness of that relationship and what they would have become had Bucky survived the war, which I felt the real tragedy was in that these teenagers never had the chance to really pursue a real relationship together, that they only had a day together, and that no one could really know what would have happened between them is the circumstances permitted. In the epilogue Steve says, “He never really talked about her either… But there wasn’t a doubt in my mind where he was going when the war was over.” And Sharon says, “God, that must have been hell… realizing the only you ever loved already grew old without you.” But then I remembered that there’s no mention of the girl in issue #10 of the main book, which explored an alternate universe in which, among other things, Bucky survived WWII, so I can chalk that confidence up to the characters.

In that epilogue Steve also says about Bucky that, “Everything he cared about is dead and buried…” This still reads a little strangely to me when, in contrast to the MCU version, which was my previous primary conception of Bucky, Steve is not the only person Bucky knew during WWII that’s still alive. Bucky’s able to start working for Nick Fury, doing missions that he can feel is having a positive effect, so he has a place in this new world he can slot himself into. In the Winter Kills issue Nick Fury arranges for Bucky meet up with Namor the Sub-Mariner for Christmas Eve. Also in the Winter Kills issue Bucky does a mission for Nick Fury that has him meet and then team-up with some of the Young Avengers, who Nick says might remind Bucky of himself during the war, but who Bucky suggests actually reminded him of Toro, the Human Torch’s kid partner, who was Bucky’s friend. But that doesn’t mean that the parallel between Bucky and the Young Avengers isn’t there, when they realize who he is they make a point to tell him it was an honor to work with him. Initially Bucky had been dismissive of their capabilities but during their team-up he recognizes their skill, though also that they have room to improve. There is a stark difference between them, however, in that Bucky doesn’t have qualms about killing Hydra agents and they’re adamant that they won’t.

Later, in issue #25, Bucky says of his original relationship with Steve, “It took me weeks to get used to the idea that he considered me an equal… a part of the team. But before I realized it, we were like brothers. He was like that sainted can-do-no-wrong big brother. The guy you can’t help but look up to… because you just know you can never be that good…” That Bucky had had this image of Steve as inherently superior to him prior to all for the immoral things he was made to do as the Winter Soldier was interesting to me.

Issue #22 is split between a psychological evaluation of Sharon Carter and flashbacks to the event that prompted the evaluation, that she was tasked with setting a trap for S.H.I.E.L.D. to capture Steve Rogers and that instead she met with him peacefully and gave the other agents a false address. With the way the story is structured it’s a plot twist that she didn’t trick Steve. In the evaluation Sharon openly expresses distress and confusion about her actions. Regarding her hesitance to accept the mission in the first place, the therapist suggests that she didn’t want to betray the man she loves, and Sharon says, “No, that’s… That’s not how it is… See, I live in the military. I live by orders, Doctor… And any good soldier knows that orders come before friendship…” Regarding sending the other agents to the wrong place, Sharon says, “I don’t know why I’m doing half the things I do lately, it feels like.” And that, “When the time came, I just… I couldn’t.” The therapist offers the explanation, “Because you love Steve Rogers?” And Sharon says, “Yes. And I don’t understand that, either… I’m not the kind of person to choose love over duty. I never have been.” She’s even shocked that she told Steve that she loves him. At the end of the story there’s a 2-page prologue that provides another twist, the therapist is Dr. Faustus and is working for the Red Skull and gives the Red Skull the progress report that, “She has no idea the reason she’s fallen so deeply in love with Rogers is because I wished it.”

In issue #25 Sharon reminisces on her relationship with Steve, thinking, “I fell in love almost immediately… Even though I knew our careers would eventually take us down different paths. Even though I knew there’d be pain and tears to come… It was always worth it.” Minutes later she shoots and kills him, though that that was her isn’t revealed until the end of the issue, when she’s forcibly made to remember, which she reacts to with shock, breaking down and repeatedly asking herself, “What did I do?”

I think it’s unfortunate that Steve’s been killed so soon after Bucky has become himself again, they’ve only interacted once since then, but I’m finding this conflict with Sharon really interesting.

The Incredible Hulk (1968) #267-269

Within the main The Incredible Hulk book I went from October 1981 to December 1981, according to the Marvel Wiki. These issues were all written by Bill Mantlo and drawn by Sal Buscema.

In the opening scene of issue #267 Betty and Rick are coaxing the Hulk into standing in front of a gamma ray projector so that they can use it to forcibly turn him back into Bruce. The Hulk is hesitant because in his experience machines like this hurt him, but Betty promises that it won’t, which Rick knows isn’t true and assumes Betty does too. The Hulk says, “It is Hulk who wants to be free of Banner! He always haunts Hulk! Whoever Banner appears, Hulk is sent away!” And Betty tells him, “We’d like to set you both free, Hulk! You from Bruce Banner and him from you! And we can do it… with the gamma ray projector!” Meanwhile, Rick is thinking, “What kind of lie are we feeding the big stiff? This gamma framistat’ll free Bruce Banner all right- by bamfing the Hulk outta the picture! But it’s what the Doc wants.” But Betty is surprised when the machine causes the Hulk to cry out in pain, and when Bruce is back in control he explains, “Pain is a price I’m willing to pay, Rick- for a moment, an hour, a day of life without the Hulk!”

At the of the issue Rick Jones, to Betty’s dismay and to no benefit to their group, gets the Hulk amped up, saying, “Take a look at ‘em, Hulk! What are they?” To which the Hulk says, “Puny humans!” And Rick says, “Right! And what do ‘puny humans’ always do to you?” To which the Hulk says, “Hate Hulk! Hound Hulk! Hunt Hulk!” And then Rick says, “You gonna let ‘em do it anymore, Greenskin?” To which the Hulk says, “No! No more! Hulk is going to start doing to puny humans what puny humans to do him!”

In issue #268 Betty and Rick are once again blasting the Hulk with gamma rays so that Bruce can work on trying to cure himself of the Hulk, much to the Hulk’s agony. Betty says, “He wouldn’t cause himself to suffer unless there was no other way.” And Rick responds, “‘Scuse me for making this situation schizophrenic than it already is- but the Doc hates the Hulk! He’d do anything to destroy his great green alter ego- no matter what price he has to pay!” Betty tells him, “It’s Bruce’s decision to make, Rick!” Rick still maintains some private reservations, thinking, “Somehow it doesn’t seem fair to the Hulk! Like, ‘ol Greenskin didn’t ask to be born! He was a creation of Doc Banner’s gamma bomb!” And then, “I mean, I hope the Doc finds the cure he’s searchin’ for- an’ all the happiness that’ll come with it! I only with it didn’t have to mean ending the Hulk’s existence- without even giving the green galoot a chance to say what he thinks about the deal!”

However, later in this issue a villain tries to drain all of the Hulk’s power, which Bruce thinks could cure him of the Hulk, but would also make the villain unstoppable, and Rick says, “What’s the world… ever done for you… except hunt… and hound you! Take the cure, Doc! Let the world… rot!” But Bruce doesn’t want the villain to have the Hulk’s power and says, “And let Pariah destroy everything I hope to be a part of again? No!” At the end of the issue Rick tells the Hulk, “Doc Banner could’ve chucked bein’ the Hulk! He had the chance! But he saw the kind of good only you can do! Maybe now he’ll look for a cure, Hulk, that’ll let you live, too!”

In issue #269 Betty tells Bruce, “Not your rampages, Bruce! The Hulk’s! You’re not the Hulk- you never have been! It’s the Hulk who is a monster! You are the man I’ve loved for years!” And then, “You’re a brilliant scientist! If anyone can find a cure for your condition, it’s you! But you’ll never succeed if you start identifying yourself with the Hulk!” And finally, “You must destroy the Hulk if we’re ever to have a life together!” Rick overhears this conversation and thinks, “Curing Doc Banner was the reason we came out here… but I guess what everyone really meant- and what I didn’t want to understand- was that you can’t cure the one without eliminating the other!” And he concludes, “The Doc’s wrong! Sure, he’s got a right to live- but so does the Hulk! He may not need ol’ Jade Jaws, but the world does!”

The narration questions Rick’s declaration, asking, “But is it the world that needs the Hulk… or Rick Jones who, never having ‘found himself’ in any other field of endeavor, has come to define his life in terms of a sidekick to the Green Goliath?” And at the end of the issue Rick attempts to turn himself into the Hulk and while doing so makes a new declaration, saying, “Let the Doc have his cure! The world’s still gonna have a Hulk!”

The Avengers (1963) #18-20

With this batch of The Avengers issues I went from May 1965 to July 1965, according to the Marvel Wiki. All were written by Stan Lee and penciled by Don Heck. Issues #18-19 were inked by Dick Ayers and issue #19 was inked by Wally Wood.

I read these on a whim. I was surprised by the portrayal of Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch, in these issues. When Janet van Dyne, the Wasp, was on the team, she was not actually considered full legitimate member in-universe. Her position was compared to that of Rick Jones, Captain America’s powerless boy sidekick, who’d only been training for a short while. For example, in issue #12 Tony as Iron Man raised the idea, regarding Rick, “Why don’t we make his membership in the Avengers official, as the Wasp’s is, by giving him some sort of uniform?” And the role that she played in battles was minimal considering the vast difference between her power level and everyone else’s except for Rick’s. Even in issue #18 Steve talks about how Iron Man, Thor, and Giant-Man left the team, not mentioning the Wasp.

In comparison, there is nothing in these issues that indicates that Wanda is any less of an Avenger than the others. The overall team dynamic is that Captain America is the team leader and both Hawkeye and Quicksilver think that they would be better at it and are competitive with him and each other, while Wanda gets along with Steve and is cooperative with him, but is also loyal to her brother and will defend him against Clint or any villains.

In issue #18 the team goes to Sin-Cong to free the people there from the tyranny of communism. The Commissar captures Wanda and challenges the rest of the team to public one-on-one fights for propaganda purposes, with Wanda’s life as his leverage. The Commissar fights and defeats the rest of the team, but by then Steve has figured out that the Commissar is actually a robot and he says, “There is still the girl! She too is an Avenger! Or do you fear her power?” Steve passes on what he knows to Wanda and during their fight she uses her powers to reveal the subterfuge, to which the people proclaim, “Behold! The communists deceived us! The tyrant was merely a robot!” And Steve explains, “By exposing their deception, we have caused them to lose face! This is the worst fate that can befall them!”

In issue #19 the Swordsman knocks Pietro unconscious and Wanda tells him, “If your cowardly blow has injured my brother you’ll pay dearly for it!” She’s able to swiftly defeat him. In issue #20 the Swordsman hesitates in his own plot against the Avengers, thinking, “I wish I could save the Scarlet Witch! She’s too beautiful to be harmed!”

Fawcett Comics:

the Captain Marvel stories in Whiz Comics (1940) #76 and Captain Marvel Adventures (1941) #63 and The Marvel Family (1945) #3

In this batch of 8 Captain Marvel stories I read the Captain Marvel appearances in July 1946, according to the issue cover dates. These stories ranged from 7 to 10 pages.

the Mary Marvel stories in Wow Comics (1941) #55 and Mary Marvel (1945) #13

In this batch of 4 Mary Marvel stories I read the Mary Marvel solo appearances in June 1947, according to the issue cover dates. These stories ranged from 5 to 8 pages.

#comics read this past week #my posts

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eluvion · 1 year

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2022 Fic Year in Review

Total number of completed stories: 3

Total word count: for published fic, 22,576. the tua draft that i never got to finishing has somewhere around 10k words on it, there were a few random 1 and 2k drafts that are stuck in my google docs somewhere, and there’s a Lot of words in college applications and articles

Fandoms written in: bungou stray dogs, the umbrella academy, and daredevil!!

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? hoo boy a lot less. i expected college apps would have An Effect on how much fic i wrote, but Wow. it cut off me writing that one tua draft literally right in the middle of me writing it, and i have no idea if i’ll get anywhere near finishing it once im done applying to places.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? all that said, poetry au--aka hope is our four-letter word--came out this year, which was some of my best work. i love it a lot, and even though it didn’t see the same levels of success as my other bsd fics, it is by far my favorite.

Did you take any writing risks this year? i'm walking backward into my own myth was a fun one. i wouldnt exactly call it a risk, but the format and time jumbling was weird enough that i’m putting it under this category.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? write more?? i don’t have any drafts i’m in the middle of, but writing more for daredevil looks fun. i’d like to write some team red, but i don’t know if i have a solid enough grasp on either wade or peter’s characters to feel confident doing that

Most popular story of the year? hope is our four-letter word!! which, to be fair, is my longest and i put it out in january and my other fics were published in november and literally like an hour ago, so it makes sense.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: this year?? i think they’ve been pretty well appreciated. obviously, just breathe that moment down was published literally today, so i can’t really say anything about it. i wish hope got more attention, but it makes sense to me why it didn’t--it’s kind of an eclectic mix of tropes and is very soft and quiet and kind of unlike most of my bsd fics.

Most fun story to write: ohhhhh i dont know. hope was fun because i got to construct a lot of the world around chuuya and dazai, and i love the idea of where dazai is at that point in his life. he’s well enough to go to college, but everyone around him still worries, and he thinks about oda all the time and he kind of wants to die all the time, but he’s just starting to see light at the end of this tunnel. yosano in this verse is also just the best i love her so much.

but god. i’m walking backward into my own myth was SO fun. the tense changes and mess of five destroying time and trying to put it back together is just so fun to write, and the style was wonderful.

Most unintentionally telling story: none of them are unintentionally telling, but just breathe that moment down is certainly. telling. december is just Bad this year so sorry yall have to keep hearing me bitch about college apps but. yeah. Yeah!!!

Biggest disappointment: THE TUA DRAFT. oh my god i wanted to finish that So Bad and i feel bad because i’ve put out so many snippets but i never got the fic out. it was going to partner with a klaus-centric fic my best friend was making, but :(((( we both got caught up in our personal lives and college applications, so neither of us managed to finish. ah well. perhaps in the new year we’ll get back to it.

Biggest surprise: not necessarily a Good Surprise but god. oh god. the Great 2022 Writing Slump. it hit like a goddamn truck.

but!!! for good surprises, me getting into daredevil!! i’m scared for whatever the mcu is going to shit out next, but the show was a masterpiece and i think it’s high time i started reading the comics instead of putting misplaced trust in disney to have good writing, so i got some for christmas!!

#SORRY THIS IS LIKE. SO NEGATIVE AND SAD ITS JUST BEEN A YEAR #2022 fic year in review #fic year in review

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har-rison-s · 2 years

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neverland

SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME SPOILERS AFTER THIS IMMEDIATELY!!! DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT!!!!

request: I AM SO LATE but i got to watch nwh today! but god, i have a prompt where in an alternate universe and future, andrew’s peter saves gwen and they have a daughter who’s the spitting image of her mother but has her dad’s eyes, which is like something everyone says to her, maybe in your fic cool uncle tobey’s spidey tells her that. when ned does the portal thingy, she emerges from it and is like, “woah! dad! mom prepared your favourite dinner you need to get home asap!” or whatever, and andrew’s peter is just like “????”, then they learn about each other and he sort of gets some peace of mind when he learns that in some distant future alternate universe he was able to save gwen and they’re happy and have a few beautiful children together

a/n: listen i'm crumbling. i'm still crying after nwh, still in my post-nwh depression cave. and andrew's peter is the closest one to my heart, 11 year old me would not believe everything that happened in nwh but she'd be so happy! my god. and i still want to write more for andrew's peter, and i love love love this request so much, it's something to explore new territory in him yk and it's exciting! thanks so much to the lovely anon (who is now my bestie) for this prompt! it's perfect. so happy reading, my babies:) merry christmas.

my paypal (would be much appreciated since i’m saving up for uni next year :))

mcu masterlist

warnings: nwh spoilers? and you might cry. because i did. so grab some tissues. also not proof-read, but probs will be sometime later. haha

word count: a lot of them. this is a longer one.

a/n: peter my baby im in tears again :( i cry just seeing him. no i don't need help i just need peter parker to be real.

This image of the young girl is haunting.

That's the best word to describe it. Haunting. It's like seeing a ghost for Peter, quite literally. Everything in her face looks just like her. Just like Gwen. Only the eyes are different, they look familiar to him but he can't place it. Everything else is, well, the spitting image of the Gwen Stacy Peter still thinks about to this day.

"Woah! What is this?! Dad, what are you doing here? Mom's got meatloaf, hot and fresh, let's go home," she whips out a flurry of words as she takes in her surroundings with wide eyes. Her hair rests around her shoulders just like Gwen's would, shining with glitter, it seems. Peter's breath gets caught in his throat.

“You--what?” He can hardly find words to say, and yet his eyes stay glued on the girl. She looks at the two teenagers beside Peter, and clearly has no idea who they are.

“Who are these people?” She asks, even though she wanted to save that question for when she and her dad are safely home. But something's telling her that everything's not quite how it should be here...

“We're friends,” Ned answers, “we're Peter Parker's friends.” MJ nods her head.

Y/N looks to Peter. “I didn't know you hung out with people my age, dad,” she says, furrowing her eyebrows, “and why are you wearing your costume?” She steps closer to him, but Peter takes a step back, his eyes still glued to her, as well as tearing up at the sight of her. “Let's just go home.” Desperation glints in her eyes and voice, and she takes a closer look at her dad's face. Why is he acting so strange? Why isn't he saying anything?

“Uh, Ned,” MJ pokes his arm, “can we get her back to... wherever she came from? Something's wrong.” She grows worried for the girl who came through the sparkling ring last. She looks to be about her and Ned's age, too.

Ned shakes his head. “I don't know how to, MJ,” he whispers to her, “until we... fix all of this, we just need to deal with it.” He suggests. MJ gives him a troubling look, but guesses that nothing else really is an option right now. She nods.

The Peter who came through last comes closer to the strangers, and the variant of himself, concerned about the situation here. He looks to the Peter who got here first. His eyes look like they're in another world, or stuck in memories. Peter knows that look well.

“Why are you calling me--” Peter pulls into himself, hugging his arms around his form. He looks to be having some sort of panic attack, “can you just... tell me your name?” He asks the girl. She nods quietly.

“My name is Y/N Stacy-Parker.” She says. Everyone in the room exchanges glances, except the Peter who's been called dad a number of times already. He processes her words by himself, seeming to fold into himself.

“How old are you?” Peter asks, wanting to add more numbers and parts to his equation.

“I'm sixteen,” she answers, “dad, you know all of these things. Why are you acting this way?”

Peter finally looks up into her eyes again. “Is your mom... G-Gwen Stacy?” He makes sure in his final efforts to understand what's happening here. Even if it hurts his heart to say her name out loud.

“Yes!” Y/N pushes out quite frustratedly. He knows all of this, and yet he keeps asking questions. Peter looks to the other Peter. If he's also Peter Parker in a different reality or universe or timeline--whatever, then maybe this girl is from another universe as well, and Peter just had an identity crisis for these few minutes for nothing.

“You must be the daughter of another Peter Parker,” the oldest Peter assumes, trying to help those two figure out what's going on in the way that he can, “just one that looks exactly like you.” He shrugs. Younger Peter looks at Y/N again, then at older Peter.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” He finally says. Y/N looks at him, then at the other man.

“Hi, I'm Peter Parker,” he tells her and extends his hand for her to shake, but she just gives it a suspicious glance, “from another universe.” He smiles at her. Her eyebrow rises in question. She looks back at her dad's supposed multiversal twin. He gives her an awkward smile.

“You're not my dad?” She makes sure, still 98% convinced that he is her dad. But the man shakes his head. She sighs quietly. “Okay, so can I go home now? I wanna see my dad.” Her lip trembles and her eyes fill with tears. She doesn't mean to cry, but she's scared, and after all just hopes that this is some kind of bad dream. It breaks Peter's heart.

Ned shrugs. “I don't know how to get you there right now,” he tells her, “but we can get you home with someone else's help.” He suggests. Y/N shakes her head, holds it in her hands for a mind-blowing and time-bending second, all the while contemplating her situation and its absurdity, and the question whether she should trust these people or not. But eventually she nods in agreement.

The two kids that look her age actually know yet another Peter Parker that exists in this universe, and they need to find him as soon as possible to help fix some big mess that the boy called Ned deemed the “multiverse”. Y/N doesn't feel safe with these people at all, especially after learning that the replicant of her dad is actually not her dad. And yet, she finds comfort in just looking at him. In his mere presence.

On the group's way to the location MJ mentioned, Peter decides to stick by Y/N. He feels this weird overprotectiveness of her, this urge to make her feel safe and keep her safe from any harm. He can't quite explain it, but he can also tell that the girl feels very uncomfortable and unsafe right now. So he walks by her, and tries to find out more about the universe she came from. It'll probably bring her some form of comfort or ease, at least, for the time being.

“Hey, uh,” he sparks up a conversation, “you feeling alright?” Peter watches her as he waits for an answer. She gives him a brief look, and then nods. Though in a hesitant manner. “We'll get you home soon, don't worry.” He assures her. Even though he doesn't know if that's completely true. “Uh, why don't you tell me about it? Home?” He offers.

Y/N contemplates it, looking into the face of her father under which there is a partial stranger. But she nods, dropping her squinty-eyed look. “Well, it's not much. Just a house in Queens, in the quiet neighbourhood.” She begins. “I live with my parents, who you obviously know,” she looks at him momentarily again, and Peter nods with a chuckle, “and my two siblings.” Peter's breath cuts short. “Mary's three years younger than me and Ben was just born.” She shrugs. “Well, not just born, he's a year old already, but it feels like he was born just a couple days ago, to be honest.” Her lips hold a light smile on them, the first one Peter's seen since she arrived.

God, Peter's always wanted siblings. He can't believe that a version of him got to have kids! And give them siblings! Live out his dream. “What's your mom like?” He quietly asks.

“She's cool,” Y/N nods with a grin on her face, “coolest mom ever. You know, dad wanted us to live in an apartment complex because of that whole Spider-Man thing--don't ask me about it--but mom couldn't. She was against it.” She explains. “It was when I was little, but I remember it. Sometimes mom cried when explaining to you--oh, sorry, to my dad--why.”

“Can you tell me?” Peter asks in an even quieter voice.

“Mom's afraid of heights,” she casually says, “something happened to her after she and dad finished high school--something she doesn't want to tell me. Something that dad knows.” Y/N sighs. “He wanted to help make her feel safer about heights, but she just wouldn't have it. That's my mom.” Y/N chuckles. “Stubborn. I guess I get it from her. That's what dad always says.”

Peter nods along, listening to every word she says, but his mind is still stuck on that one part. Mom's afraid of heights. Something happened to her that dad knows. So it's happened in that universe, too. Only Gwen survived. Only Peter managed to save her from that terrible, lethal fall.

What could he have done differently?

Peter runs his hands over his face, trying to regain himself, trying to level back down to reality. He saved Gwen. In another universe, but he saved Gwen. He actually saved her. Peter feels his chest caving in on him, and he thinks this is what it's like to have asthma, but he doesn't know that he's having a minor panic attack. Or is it just tears and sobs of relief? Because he knows that in an alternate universe, he saved the love of his life, his path, his Gwen. And that he's able to live a life out with her in that universe. One that they both deserved.

He wipes his tears with the sleeves of his suit and tries to keep his sobs as quiet as possible. He doesn't want her, or any of them, to see him this way. It's okay to cry, but no one's ever told him that enough times for him to believe that. “Wh-what's your dad like?” Peter asks then, trying to distract himself from the impending relief-attack. Y/N gives him a momentary look, and just hopes that the man is alright. He seems to be crying, although he hides it pretty well.

“He's... well, he's the best dad ever,” she tells him. Peter smiles through his tears, “calls me Tinkerbell--Tink for short--all the time because...” she sighs, “this is a bit embarrassing, but Peter Pan is my favourite movie and book of all time. And because dad can basically fly, I have the role of Tinkerbell.” She chuckles to herself. Peter can't keep his tears inside anymore. “Cause he always says I can fly, too. Just not in the way he can.” Y/N makes a small smile. “I love my dad.”

Those few words just completely break Peter. It feels like his feet will give in and he'll fall to the ground any second. Peter Pan. Of course. He doesn't even have to ask to know that Gwen is Wendy, and Y/N's siblings are the Lost Boys--or children? Peter Pan was his nickname throughout kindergarten and primary school, and he read the book as well.

It holds as much meaning to him as it does to Y/N.

And that speaks volumes. Peter can't even manage to try and keep his tears and sobs inside, and so he walks with an aching chest and heart, and a hollow throat besides this alternate universe daughter of his. Keeping it all inside, he knows it's the best thing to do right now.

She can't know what happened in his world. It will scare her more than she is already scared now. And he doesn't wish that on her. She's a young girl, so undeserving of any harm, of any pain, any kind of disturbance in her very pleasant life. And she's already a lot like her mom, not only in the sense of her appearance, because yowza! She's the spitting image of Gwen when she was in high school.

When the group does find this universe's Peter Parker, Y/N eventually gets to hear about the tragedy in the life of Peter who is her dad's doppelganger. And she realises that he was crying while they talked on the street. And now she knows why. And she feels for him, that's the best part. She understands why the sight of her made him so emotional.

During the fight against the astounding number of villains on the construction site for the renewal of the Statue of Liberty, all three Peters, as well as MJ and Ned, do their best at keeping Y/N safe. Making a clear, safe path for her wherever she goes. It's an unspoken promise Peter makes to that alternative version of himself and Gwen. To keep Y/N safe.

When the nemesis are all cured and fixed, and everyone turns out to be in one piece, and Dr Strange--some weird man in a floating cloak who can also do magic (??)--returns from wherever he was, it's time for the 'other' Peters and the people belonging to their timelines to go home. That includes Y/N.

But she's not leaving without saying goodbye. She treks all the way down to where the three Spider-Men stand together, no matter how dangerous and careless it might be, and finally reaches her dad's multiversal twin. He's relieved to see her all okay, and he expresses that with a hug. He asks for her consent first, because it might be weird and uncomfortable for the girl. But she says yes, and the hug from him is nothing short of the hugs she gets every day from her real dad.

“Thank you,” she tells him, “and I hope everything works out for you.” She gives him a smile. Peter nods, hoping the same thing for himself. “I wasn't really a part of the fight, but this was one of the most fun nights of my life.” She looks at the other Peters, too. They all have a laugh together, and respond with only kind words to her.

“Time to go home now,” Dr Strange calls from above her, and Y/N gives him a nod. She gives one last smile to her dad's twin, and then steps towards the sparkling ring the wizard makes just a few feet away. As it gets bigger, the silhouettes of her family become more and more apparent in it. They have confused faces, but they turn to relief once they see Y/N.

Peter watches an older version of himself, her father, help her climb inside the circle, where they embrace in a tight hug. Much like the one he shared with her just seconds ago. “Tink, we were so worried,” her father exclaims, and then lays a kiss atop her head. Peter's heart lurches in his chest. As Y/N starts explaining everything to her family, they turn to look at these strangers, who are dressed in quite familiar suits. One face stands out to them all, and it weirds them out as well.

Peter sees Gwen.

He sees his Gwen Stacy up there, a toddler on her hip and an apron around her waist, as well as a tired smile on that beautiful face. She gives him and the other Peters a small wave before turning her back to them again, and a curious young girl takes her place in gaping at the strangers. Peter would never believe he'd have the chance to see her live in all dimensions and with all his senses again. And he appreciates this moment, this day of miracles.

The Stacy-Parker family from another universe, possibly one further in time, stands before the three Spider-Men, and they wave their goodbyes. Now that Y/N's dad has all the explanations he needs for where his daughter was, he looks at the three men--his equals--with a smile on his face. And before Strange completely closes the sparkling ring to another universe, he mouths a 'thank you' to all three of them, but especially that seemingly younger version of himself. For keeping his Y/N safe.

Peter gives him a nod, and realises he's finally made a promise that he could keep. Keeping Y/N safe. Even if she wasn't his daughter. That means next to nothing to him that she's not his kid, because her being the daughter of another version of himself practically means that she is, to some degree, his kid. And he treated her with the utmost caution and care that he could.

As he himself fades away, fades back to his world, Peter already misses the other Peters. They really did feel like brothers to him. But he also feels relief. Relief in knowing that he could save Gwen from that horrid fall in another universe. Relief in knowing that he can keep his promises. It means an unexplainable size or form of a thing that in another universe, another Peter Parker, who looks like him, gets to live out his life in the way he wished to.

He gets to take that path.

permanent tag-list: @hallecarey1 @gabiatthedisco @v0idbella @ur-gunna-h8-ths@betweenloveandfire @but-legendsneverdie @rottenstyx @deardeacy @mavieesttriste16 @intrrverted @the-freak-cassie-131 @beverlyparkerr @gasbomb69

a/n: no one touch me rn i'm crying

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parkers-gal · 3 years

Text

masterlist

requests | closed to complete current requests <3

last updated | aug 5th, 2021

do not repost my work anywhere !! respect this please. | fics are not ordered in any particular way. these headers are mine so pls don’t use/take them

tom holland

insomnia - reader can’t get to sleep; tom finds out why

driving in the rain - fluffy dinner date and rainy drive back home

workouts and warmth - when all tom wants is some after-workout cuddles

from across the living room - announcing your engagement to your families

the one - you want to move out and get your own place as a couple, but tom doesn’t. nikki talks to him.

anything for the twins - tom massages reader’s boobies during her period

moms, makeouts, and mishaps - nikki walks in during your makeout sesh

simple acts of intimacy - a fluffy 3.1k words worth of blurbs

silver surprises - the reader surprises tom at a premiere

twenty questions - questions ensue after tom & reader get stuck in an elevator

my gut - spinoff of twenty questions with claustrophobic!reader (tw/ anxiety + attacks)

stealth mode - tom & reader scaring each other

unicorns vs pegasuses - tom shuts the reader up by kissing them

a good story - tom meets reader at a meet & greet — friendships blossom to lovers

deal breaker - tom wants kids, but the reader does not

his lap - reader asks for help in overcoming an insecurity; tom misreads the situation

pool day - pool day w/ tom + the boys

hot - the reader picks a certain song that reminds her of tom - the boys go wild

grounded by rocks - tom talks about you in an interview for cherry

your hands - when all he wants is a simple head massage

late flights - in which tom takes too much time with the fans

nobody wanted to - where only one person makes it out alive

way more than 50 - the hollands trick the reader into thinking they did something they weren’t supposed to

why [ pt ii ] - sweet cupcakes, and a not so sweet breakup

what looks suspicious - nikki doesn’t exactly approve of tom dating the reader

something sweet - reader drops off small gifts while tom’s on set

he remembers - when tom finds the letter

missed you - reuniting w/tom after four long months

soft gangsta - tom tries to dress edgy; the reader is unconvinced

the shoe game - reader & tom play the shoe game at their wedding

too much - when the reader has a rough time with work, tom comforts them

losing grip [ pt ii ] - a losing battle between the reader and a hereditary disease causes heartbreak

your captain america - protective!tom holland of young reader (age gap)

sexy genius - reader is a fan of (and meets) jake gyllenhaal

teddy bear cuddles - tom wears an oversized hoodie

nonsense - the boys think the reader is meddling with tom’s work

circles before yourself - rule #2 - osterfield!reader gets caught with tom

seventeen times - when the reader is having a hard time in lock down, tom tries to help (TW // depression)

pixie dust hair - tom assures insecure!reader that the pixie haircut looks good <3

a few more months - reader passes out during a run; tw // excessive exercising

tiktok au’s

body ody ody - tom gets a little jealous over a few social media comments

sweats in the supermarket - getting tom hard when he wears sweats

put your records on - trying not to kiss each other first

mood killer - saying dirty things into tom’s ear

say it back - pranking tom by not saying ily back to him

two different ways - tom choking the reader to get two different reactions

brutal - doing the “did you mean to post this?” trend on tom

worst thirty minutes of my life - playing a drinking game with tom to see who gives into cuddles first

my girl’s cuddles - crawling into tom’s lap

even - buying hot leggings & taping tom’s reaction

goofball - a silly way to reveal reader’s pregnancy to tom

end the debate - “i found out why my boobs are small” trend

slam the car door - doing the car door prank on tom

water bottle wars - the boys ask you and tom questions about each other. wrong answers result in sprayed water

get you back real good - you & the boys prank tom after watching a scary movie

peachy - sighing / moaning in front of tom playing video games to get his reaction

my princess - tom does a tiktok where he guesses all your answers to everyday questions

dad!tom

needles and needs - when scarlet has to get shots, you realize she may not be the only one that needs comforting

all my girls - scarlet meets her baby sister for the first time (dad!tom)

everything i love about u - tom is afraid baby red might hate him for leaving home too much

a little extra help - stepdad!tom being the best dad to your daughter

through the tears - pregnant!reader goes into labour, and baby holland meets the family

first feed - tom watches you breastfeed for the first time

warmth from the love - baby holland’s first Christmas

first words - baby holland speaks for the first time

breaking the internet - when your pregnancy announcement crashes multiple apps/websites (pregnant!reader)

breaking the internet... again - when baby holland breaks the internet

boyfriends and brunch - when jade brings home her boyfriend (aged!up)

big sister + how are babies made - telling scarlet about the baby on the way (pregnant!reader)

too many kids - the reader’s dad has some commentary about the twins

mumma’s girl - tom gets jealous when scarlet isn’t a daddy’s girl

angels - a little skin to skin time with his best girl

family man - after a nasty breakup, tom finds out you had his child

cheesy uncles - telling paddy he’s going to be an uncle

ag!reader (more to come !!)

y’all really get nasty - tom and the fans discuss ag!reader’s songs

my favorite things - ag!reader performs in front of the mcu cast at the grammy’s

34 + 35 - the boys react to reader’s new song(s)

34 + 35 remix - the boys reacting to the remix

his remedy - the boys react to positions deluxe

neglected - AG!reader breaks up w tom because of their job; tom searches for answers

low-key wants him - reader talks about how much nonna (+ her fam) loves tom

see u soon - reader interacts with tom while on stage for the swt

a few spilled secrets - AG!reader performs on jimmy fallon’s show.. tom and her confess a few secrets

for the first time - when the reader breaks down crying while singing about her ex, tom is there to comfort her

dance with me, rain on me - reader has a hard time on set, tom to the rescue

every tomorrow - the first album release night after your breakup

here we go again - introducing tom (+ the boys) to your celebrity friends

condoms or safety nets - the boys react to AG!reader’s song “safety net”

we’re not engaged - AG!reader announcing to the world why they no longer have a fiance... (fluffy)

the late late show - AG!reader & tom do spill your guts or fill your guts

pain from pleasure - dad!tom goes through a birth simulator — controlled by the reader

never have i ever - tom & the reader play a game on the late late show

fluffy hair - ag!reader has a zoom interview with zach sang. tom makes an appearance

fighting off the haters - ag!reader and older!tom holland (age gap) attend an award show after going public

run your hands thru my hair - tom reacts to ag!reader’s song “my hair”

stick to acting - tom tries to make a beat for ag!reader

practically twins - reader meets sebastian & anthony at comic con

damn lucky - black!reader wears her hair naturally during an interview

what a piece - reader talks about tom related songs & tattoos

flip it - tom talks about reader in an interview

at the door - older!reader & tom fight off haters

a headcannon of ag!reader being a marvel cast member

a headcannon of tom & the reader attending the avengers endgame premiere

styles!reader (more to come !!)

bathroom kisses - makeout sessions with tom and styles!reader in the bathroom

yeah, he is - tom holland x styles!reader meet the styles family; protective older brother harry makes an appearance

unparalleled love - older brother harry styles makes a speech at reader’s wedding

grilled - date night for tom & styles!reader is a bit difficult with two kids; older brother!harry to the rescue

baby showers and brothers - dad!tom & styles!reader are going to be parents

potential boyfriend - tom has a crush on the reader when they first meet

ts!reader (more to come!!)

trust me - tom & the reader defend her after nikki doesn’t approve

your london boy - tom & co. + the world reacts to “london boy”

boy of my dreams - tom being proud of the reader for winning a grammy

rapper!tom

tom records your sounds during sex for his music (hc)

tom talks about you in an interview

concepts: one , two , three

professor!tom

my pretty girl - tom gets jealous when reader gets many valentines

other reader tropes

cherry - reader is a screenwriter for tom’s upcoming movie

no shouting - singer!reader needs some help after paparazzis are too much (based on a video of tom)

pregnancy belly - actress!reader has to wear a pregnancy belly for her role, and the boys tease tom about when it’ll be real

we march - actress!reader being a huge feminist

passions & pediatricians - pediatrician-to-be!reader meets tom

politics - reader’s granpa is joe biden (requested) and tom meets him

extra support - psychiatrist!reader helps tom on the set of cherry

you made it big - tom holland x actress!reader at the after party

partition - the boys react to famous!reader singing partition

senorita - singer!reader makes a music video with shawn, who’s tom’s new best friend

miniseries

boomerang: one , two , three , four [completed]

peter parker

making amends

➢ enemies to lovers ; college!peter x super soldier!reader ; 30k words ; sorta slow burn

cheeky guy, favorite thighs - college!peter doing a tik tok challenge — between the reader’s thighs [tik tok au]

a little nicer - doing the prank on peter (”you could’ve been a little nicer to me today”)

start searching - first make out sessions with our best boy :)

hidden hickeys - the avengers think innocence of peter, until they’re proven wrong

the team - part two of hidden hickeys; reader meets the avengers

all of you - late night talks about your future with peter :’)

like you wouldn’t believe - reader tells mj about her & peter’s awesome sex

slip from my hands - roommate!peter comforts the reader after a nightmare

i’d wait for her - college!peter parker needs to come to terms with you and your boyfriend

shut up and kiss me - soft make out sessions with peter :)

all the good things in the world, and i get you - insecure!reader needs a little reassuring

modern chivalry - peter being a gentleman on the subway

eggnog and mistletoe - peter helps you love the holidays

the force awakens? it sleeps - a little extra comfort & care from our favorite baby boyfriend

a prince - wonder woman!reader meets spider-man (& avengers) in a mission

steve rogers fics - peter finds you reading fanfiction abt steve rogers

fanboy!peter

fanboys and bracelets - fanboy!peter parker goes to famous!singer!reader’s meet and greet

fanboys and phone numbers - fanboy!peter parker continuation

showing around - fanboy!peter gets VIP access; some dancing ensues

stark!reader + avengers!reader

if you knew feelings - the avengers want you & peter to break up

sleeping - peter misinterprets a few important questions

the may to your ben - college!best friend!peter parker x stark!reader fluff

race ya - peter confesses his feelings for rogers!reader after a mission — on comms

frat bathrooms - stark!reader joins the avengers where she sees college!peter, the boy she slept with at a frat party

rainy days - reader doesn’t like rainy days, a certain wall-climber changes their mind

already got her - jealous!peter makes a public confession

flustered!peter

a nervous one - flustered!peter parker sees cheerleader!reader in her uniform

one day soon - flustered!peter parker x affectionate!reader

all better - flustered!peter parker does some lab flirting with reader

dad!peter + pregnant!reader

unplanned [ part ii ] - reader gets pregnant... breaks up with peter to avoid it all

burrito wraps - reader worries that baby parker might be cold

a name to remember - latine!reader & peter give their girl a special name

you’re magic - a certain wall crawler hears two heartbeats

sgt. bucky barnes

first cuddles - bucky asks to cuddle for the first time

harry holland

golden light, the love of my life - the boys tease harry —on a live video— for being whipped

it won’t f^cking open - harry lends a helping hand

how much i - those three magical words are exchanged for the first time

cuddly koala moments - time the reader just needed harry’s warmth

anything for hands - the reader cuts harry’s hair on instagram live

your other best friend - the reader is sam’s new friend, but harry thinks they like tom instead

you’re my anchor - harry has an anxiety attack, but the reader knows what to do

what’s his [ pt ii ] - when everything thinks the reader should date tom instead, harry snaps

whipped fries - harry brags about the reader winning the pub quiz for them

tell me, show me - the reader makes harry flustered by playing w/the strings from his sweatpants

keep your cool - tom setting u up with his brother // nikki being wary

ag!reader

you’re such a dream to me — ag!reader writes r.e.m. about harry

harry styles

intoxicating - soft bubbles baths with long haired!harry

frayed braids - reader braids long haired!harry’s hair

others:

harrison osterfield

not anymore - when harrison comes back from filming, he’s determed to win the reader’s heart

irreversible - when relationships fall apart, people fall apart. (infidelity)

circles before yourselves - rule #1 - harrison x osterfield!reader (sister) when brothers talk, bad things begin

think of her - harrison asks your family for their blessing [holland!sister]

steve harrington

together not never - steve discovers the reader is pregnant

3K notes · View notes

scorpiussage · 2 years

Text

My favorite thing about Stephen Strange being from Nebraska, is that I’m from Nebraska and it’s hilarious some of the headcanons I see about what his childhood might have been like growing up from people who have never been to the midwest, let alone Nebraska

If you want your Stephen Strange to be ✨midwest ✨accurate one tip I’ll always give is we have a really weird way of agreeing/disagreeing with something

Example:

“No, yeah.” = Yes

“Yeah, no.” = No

“Yeah, no, for sure.” = Definitely

“Yeah, no, yeah.” = I’m sorry, but unfortunately, the answer is yes

“No, yeah, no.” = oh no, you’ve got nothing to worry about

This is genuinely how we talk I’m not kidding. I recently moved to the east coast and let me tell you, people have a really difficult time figuring out what I’m trying to say because of it 😭 So like, you just know that little teeny bopper straight out of highschool first year in college Stephen Strange would have suffered like you wouldn’t believe trying to talk to people in new york

other slang we use:

“Pop.” = soda (we do not say ‘coke’ and if we hear ‘coke’ we think you mean specifically cocacola not just soda in general)

“Coyote.” (pronounced like kai-oat instead of the way you’re actually supposed to say it) = the animal coyote but we just say it weird so i’ve gotten some really weird looks here on the east coast when talking about the animal

“Ope.” = this is like a just a general exclamation word usually used as like ‘excuse me’ or ‘sorry’ but we just tack it on everywhere. so its not unusual to hear something like “ope, ‘scuse me.” in the supermarket or “ope, sorry ‘bout that.”

“Warsh.” = wash (this is something that older people do not so much the younger generation but I like to imagine Stephen saying “I’m gonna warsh the dishes.”

other fun nebraska traits that you can add in to your fic/headcanon:

We have a traditional Nebraskan dish called a Runza, we have a whole fastfood chain dedicated to them and they can only be purchased in Nebraska (So I like to imagine that the few times Stephen visits home he brings back a cooler of runzas for himself because that’s what I do LOLLL)

Nebraska football is a must like even if you don’t like the sport or sports in general, you love the Huskers and you will ride or die for them

In winter we eat chili with cinnamon rolls and so far I have yet to meet people outside the midwest that do this

Everyone loves ranch on pizza in the midwest, everyone there is practically breastfed ranch haha

We have a salad dressing called Dorothy Lynch and its only made in Nebraska and you can only get it in Nebraska and its something a lot of boomers like to eat on their salads (I personally don’t like it because I think it’s too sweet but I like to imagine that Stephen Strange stocks his pantry up with bottles of that because he can’t buy it anywhere else)

Kool-Aid was invented in Nebraska and we consider it to be an essential Nebraskan thing to drink it

A good chunk of Nebraskans are Lutheran and so I like to imagine that Stephen Strange grew up Lutheran and was forced to go to the like hour and half long church sermons that we all were forced to go to as kids (bonus points if it was a rural church and on christmas they gave the kids bags of peanuts and an orange as a present because that’s what my insanely rural church always did)

One room schoolhouses are still around in a lot of the midwest and based on both MCU and comic version timelines of Stephen, it’s highly likely that he probably attended a one room schoolhouse as a child and had to do the whole walking two miles up hill both ways in a snowstorm to get to school

#stephen strange #dr. strange #dr stephen strange #mcu #marvel #ironstrange #stephens nebraska origins are my fav part of him #i wish bennydryl cumberbun had really doubled down and learned a nebraskan accent for the role that would have absolutely killed me #also these are just experiences i've had growing up in rural northeast nebraska

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vydante · 3 years

Note

I was wondering if u could do a male reader x Natasha Romanoff where the reader is the winter soldier (Bucky doesn’t exist for the ) and is natashas trainer in the red room so during training they make each other feel human and she develops like a crush on reader and when or after a training session she tells him and he feels the same way. If u get what I’m trying to say.( SMUT if u feel comfortable plz)

Tell Your Baby That I’m Your Baby

Fandom: Marvel (MCU)

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Winter Soldier! Male! Reader (Romantic)

A/N: this is literally so far from what you asked but I saw the potential for angst and ran with it instead. And I’m not good at sm*t so there’s only hints of it. MILD BLACK WIDOW SPOILERS.\

There are days where Natasha wakes up drenched in sweat, unable to breathe, heart heavy with a feeling she can’t make out just yet. Those days are rare, but they still happen nonetheless, and they leave her shaken for longer than she’s willing to admit.

She isn’t infallible, she knows this, but on those nights, her aching chest serves as a reminder to how human she really is under the exterior she’s carefully manufactured over the years.

Most nights she doesn’t dream. It was always nothingness that greeted her in the night, and she welcomed it wholeheartedly.

But on the rare occasion, when she sleeps, she sees things.

Sometimes she sees blue strands blocking her vision as she rushes up a driveway, a beat but well loved car parked right next to her as she barreled through the door and into open arms, two pairs big, one pair smaller than her own. Other times, she sees a Christmas tree with colorful boxes underneath them. She cheers and laughs with glee, despite knowing that there wasn’t anything inside of them. Those visions are often tinted a warm orange.

But they only make up a small part of what she normally dreams of.

Most times, she dreams of a man.

(MIND THE LINE BREAK!)

(”Aim higher.”

A low murmur, a cold hand on her neck, another steadying her gun. She does as she’s told, but she’s only so young, she doesn’t know how to aim like he does, she doesn’t know why she’s here- she pulls the trigger.

And misses.

The bottom drops from beneath her, Natasha’s teeth biting down on her lips hard enough to draw blood. She knows what’s coming for her, she’s prepared- she isn’t, but what choice does she have?- and braces for it.

The cold hand leaves her neck. But it does not reach for her scalp, to tug on it and drag her away from her post to... “reprimand” her for her shoddy work despite having enough time to train for it.

Instead, a cold thumb wipes itself across her lips to clean the blood that had begun dripping down her cheek. He is quiet, almost deathly so.

“... Showing weakness will get you killed here. Do not do that again.”

He does not say anything else, and instead adjusts her gun. Her hands tremble, but with his nod, she pulls the trigger again.

She does not miss this time.)

Most nights, she dreams of a man.

She does not remember certain aspects of that man. She cannot remember the curve of his cheekbone or the color of his lips, but that does not stop the shadow of that man from haunting her at her every move.

Sometimes she sees some of him in Steve when he grips down on something hard enough to bend it.

(Sometimes she remembers that grip on her waist, on her arms, on her ankles, around her throat; the desperation in his voice, the corners of his eyes being the only sign that he was on the edge of losing control as she shuddered beneath him.)

Sometimes she sees some of him in the man that always walks by the coffee shop down on 5th in the way he carefully holds himself.

(They were careful. They had to be. Some of her fellow Widows, the weaker ones, the ones who never managed to graduate on time, who expressed too much with their eyes and laid their cards too close to their sleeve, glanced at her in pity, having been the only one forced to deal with him, whose name echoes the violence that lied beneath his skin. He pays them no mind, does nothing to discourage them, and neither does she. It’s better that way.)

(And if they disappear together on occasion, and she comes back with bruises marred on her pale skin, she does not fight the rumors that he is being especially cruel to her during her training. Not when she was the one who dragged his hands onto her, tugging him closer to the sun, begging for his waxed wings to melt in her presence. Not when he so tenderly holds her frame, pinning her against the door, lips mouthing over her skin, reverently whispering her name like it was a prayer.)

(Sometimes, it did feel like he was praying. For what, she never knew.)

But that shadow of him always disappears fast enough before she can even call out his name.

(She does not know his name, and neither did he. That did not stop her from calling out to him in her dreams.)

The last time she had ever seen him, was right after her slip up in Budapest.

They did not get caught, no, not when it was between their prized Black Widow and him, HYDRA’s fist, no, but somewhere along the line, their masks had begun cracking.

Maybe those cracks had started forming when Natasha, young, foolish, not yet hardened, dared to step past that line drawn into the sand between her and the soldier, her handler.

Maybe those cracks had started forming when the childish hope for something more from a man as cruel as he (never cruel, not to her, never) started blossoming in her chest.

Maybe those cracks started forming when he accepted her childishness for all that he possibly could, while still chained up like a dog beneath its master’s boot.

Maybe those cracks were always there, from a little girl that longed for love, and a broken man that longed for something else, something she hoped was her.

But no matter how those cracked form, they started to become visible. And while she was nothing more than a fool in love underneath her Widow uniform, he began to want more.

Something more for her, and for himself as well.

(”You will be targeted there. In Budapest.”

Only years of training in the Red Room has prevented her from jumping at the quiet sound of your voice, so close to her ears, breath hot as you continued speaking.

“His name is Clint Barton, and he is from S.H.I.E.L.D., and he will try to kill you. Obviously, do not let him succeed,” she felt tempted to roll her eyes, “But. Keep him alive. He will be your ticket out of here, if you play your cards right.”

She whipped her head, alarmed at his blatant encouragement of defiance to her.

Immediately, her flags were raised. Was this a test? A test of her allegiance? A test of her relationship to you?

“What about you?”, her foolish mouth opens. Your eyes widened, almost barely so, before you schooled your face into that stoicism she was so familiar with.

“Madame B. is waiting for you in her office.”

Your voice was now gruff and louder than it was before, and you prepared to stalk off to your next position, but not before ghosting your fingers over hers.

“We will see each other again,” was all that she heard of you for the rest of the day.

She is not sure what to make up of that encounter, as neither of you bring it up ever again.)

She does not know how you knew that. She asked Clint once, if he knew if anyone leaked that information, but he denied any knowledge of it. She believes him.

Never before had you done something like that, that deviant, outside of your... skirmishes with her. This was different. This wasn’t related to any desire for her, but rather for something else. Something she dared not let herself dream of.

(She wonders, for days leading up to Budapest, if that was a test or not.

And then Budapest happens, and sure enough, she’s beginning to see the forms of her freedom taking shape in the light that’s shining through the window behind Hawkeye’s head.

She still wonders if it is a test.

When she comes back, shaken by her test of faith to the Red Room, and Madame B. announces to her that you will no longer be her handler, and she hears whispers that HYDRA’s dog collar has shown up empty, absent of their beloved fight dog, she realizes, it was not a test.

It was your final gift to her.)

Sometimes, as she sleeps on a bed far softer than what she could have imagined for herself, or as she lounges on a chair in the living room, basking in the warmth of her friends, her family, she slips off into the darkness and dreams of you.

And sometimes, she hoped that wherever you were, you dreamt of her too.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x male reader #male reader insert #avengers x male reader #angst #anonymous #suggestion

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ireblongstuff · 2 years

Text

Peggy Carter masterlist

Updated 11/22/23

Fluff

‘They jump into your care breathless and tell you to keep driving’ by @wokeupinawalnut

Canibus by @marvelousluci

The Date by @blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms

It’s cold outside by @wokeupinawalnut

‘I know your thinking about me’ by @megamultifandomtrashposts

Catching the cold by @allfiguredout

Under the Christmas tree by @wokeupinawalnut

Opps by @lilian-maximoff

Words that start with ‘p’ by @melmalone

She knows by @d-dauphinweasley

Late nights by @wokeupinawalnut

Tucking their hair behind their ear by @wokeupinawalnut

Bandaging the other’s hand and not quite letting go by @wokeupinawalnut

Having a crush on you, despite you being with someone else by @lilian-maximoff

Sharing a dance with Peggy carter would include by @onegayastronaut

“Just kiss already!” by @imagine-mcu

A little faith by @wokeupinawalnut

Stubborn by @blogofamultuideofandoms

Sunday Morning by @can-youimagine

Dancing and Hot Chocolate by @anuntiledmess

Being Buckys sister who’s a nurse and dating Peggy by @myriadimagines

Honeymoon by @blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms

Undercover by @the-fandom-abyss

Dating Peggy headcanons by @welcometohellweofferimagines

Fate Unkind by @chosigue

“Oh, no, please continue, this is hilarious” by @hckhoward

“How am I supposed to focus when you’re looking at me like that?’ by @marvelsdc22

Eating from each other’s plates + brushing against each other, even if there is enough room by @wokeupinawalnut

whispering to each other + cuddling on the couch by @wokeupinawalnut

Lovestruck dances by @chosigue

“I just want to see you happy.” by @statticscribbles

A place to hide by @ameeelia07

Peggy Carter Having a Crush On You would include by @writings-of-a-british-fangirl

‘This is my wife’ by @wokeupinawalnut

Love is Love by @marvel-wlw

Cleaning Up by @wokeupinawalnut

Dating Peggy Carter Would Include by @onegayastronaut

Dating Peggy headcannos by @welcometohellweofferimagines

Angst with a happy ending

Shooting stars by @allfiguredout

Love in the 50′s by @arelyitsherec8

Lesbian in the 40′s by @writseo

You weren’t supposed to love me by @lilian-maximoff

Love is not always easy by @tvseries-writings

“I can’t find them” by @marvelsdc22

“I can’t lie to them” by @marvelsdc22

“Telling each other I’m here” by @wokeupinawalnut

“Are you seriously trying to make me jealous?” + “Fuck being friends!” by @marvelsdc22

Strength by @imkittyjustkitty

Stairs by @peach-and-bugs

Telling each other I’m here by @wokeupinawalnut

The World Against Us by @maximoffcarter

Morning Rush by @eltonjohndenver

Series

Two agents in love 2 3

Angst

We’ll meet again by @nyx-aira

In another life by @lilian-maximoff

Dream a little of me by @gayforwandanat

Singovel by @novamirmirsblog

How they react to you being taken by HYDRA by @moonlit-imagines

“I can’t be with you” by @marvelsdc22

Fears by @the-fandom-abyss

“I’m dying ”+ “You’re not dying” + “Please Stay” by @marvelsdc22

#peggy carter x reader #peggy x reader #peggy carter #peggy carter imagine #angst #fluff #mcu x reader #Mcu #masterlist

151 notes · View notes

wiypt-writes · 2 years

Text

25 Days Of CHRIS-Mas

Day 25: A CHRIS-Mas Carol

Past

Summary: You and Chris have a love/hate relationship…in that you love to hate one another. But it hasn’t always been that way, and sometimes, to build a better future, someone has to be the bigger person and remember why and how it wasn’t always that bad.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Actress Reader

Warnings: Bad Language, smut (NSFW, 18+)

W/C: Hazard a guess about 4k ish?! Poss more.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction, any likeness to any persons or events in real life are purely co-incidental. I do not own any characters contained herein bar the reader and/or any original characters. I do not give consent for my work to be copied and posted/translated onto any other sites. If you see this fiction anywhere other than Tumblr, it has been taken without permission.By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer and ALL warnings posted here.

A/N: So this is my first EVER RPF and came from an idea I’ve had in my head for ages. It’s split into 3: Past, Present, Future. Posted on mobile with my left hand. Apologies in advance for any mistakes!

25 Days Of CHRIS-mas Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Day 24: Andy Barber (Defending Jacob)

“Reflect upon your present blessings—of which every man has many—not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”

Early December, 2013

"You know I can’t tell you that!” You laughed, shaking your head. “I’ll get shot. All I can say is they’re keeping very true to Shadow’s comic book character. So, if you know you know. And I’m really excited to join the MCU. For a comic book geek like me, it’s a dream come true.”

Chris watched as you sat in the directors chair, next to Kelly and Michael, right in front of Disney World's Epcot, filming a segment for Live! With Kelly and Michael. You was there, doing an interview for your next film, due out this Christmas, about King Nicholas' daughter trying to find a way to bring the magic of the holidays back to her kingdom.

Filming a Disney animated film had been a dream come true for you and he knew it. Yet, he had to laugh at the way Michael snuck in a Marvel question.

“So you can’t give us any little snippets about the next Cap film?” Kelly pleaded, “nothing?”

“Nope.” You laughed, wagging your finger, “you’ll have to wait for the official press tour in the new year.”

Chris rolled his eyes as you dodged the typical questions. Filming had wrapped back in June of this year and the sequel to blockbuster hit, The First Avenger, was set to premiere in mid-March. Yet it was a well versed fact that everyone would try and cajole snippets out of the Marvel cast any way they could.

There was some more chat then about how voicing animation differed to live action movies and then, he sat up as Michael hit you with a question that wasn’t entirely off topic, but made him cringe nonetheless.

“So, in A Christmas Wish, Jeffrey Dean Morgan plays, or voices, your father, King Nicholas and obviously you starred alongside him and Chris Evans in The Losers a few years back. How did it feel being reunited again with your old costars?”

"Well, the weird thing is, I actually didn't see Jeff until we were doing press, because the beauty of animation is you can kinda record it anywhere. Where with Chris…” You hesitated and he groaned, knowing full well that was going to be picked up on. “Well, I was literally stuck with him in tight quarters sometimes for three months,” you laughed, trying to keep it light although your eyes told a different story.

“I can think of worse places to be stuck.” Kelly mused and you snorted.

“Well, it… it can get hard when you’re living on top of one another for so long, it definitely helps when you get along.” You diplomatically answered.

"Do you though?" Michael seized his chance. "Does everyone get along? I mean, we're you the freshman here?"

Chris inhaled as Michael and Kelly both pressed you, and he watched you squirm to as you clearly were thinking of a way to dodge or redirect.

In the end, to his surprise, you did neither.

“Okay, I know what you’re hinting at, the rumours of a rift between me and Evans so to speak but… ya know, we had a few creative differences but that’s it,” you feigned a casual shrug. “Chris is a passionate guy and knows Steve Rogers and is protective over him. I know my character and there were a few little disagreements on some aspects of filming in a couple of scenes but… it all gets left on set. You gotta draw that line, ya know?”

Chris could tell that, despite your best attempt to appear otherwise, you were rattled. Especially as your left hand toyed with your earlobe. He snorted and scoffed as he remembered exactly the moment you were talking about. It hadn’t been left on set, far from it. For once the trash mags had been correct in their reporting.

Thankfully, the interview went back to your current project and then finished about ten minutes later.

At that point, Chris shut the television off and got himself ready for the gym. It was early afternoon when he got a message from Meghan asking if he’d checked his Twitter.

With a groan he opened up his account and searched through. Sure enough, you were trending as was he. The original article from TMZ, originally published mid-shoot, which had reported the argument so to speak was being dug up and reblogged again along with a bunch of new comments. The majority of people tweeting seemed to take your denial of said rift as confirmation.

And his fans were wasting no time in twisting the knives.

With an eye roll he called Meghan. “Well, this is fun…”

“You think?” She scoffed, “that was a pretty shitty question they asked her."

"She should have been better prepared but she handled it well, I mean, she's normally one to run her mouth.”

“Stop it," Megan scolded. "You are one to talk."

“Meaning?”

"Look, that's not the current point, what is is there's now a cacophony of comments and before you get a good lashing from Marvel, or her team jump in with something that paints you out to be the asshole, you need to redirect."

He sighed, “you told me not to say anything last time!”

"Well, clearly this is snowballing a second time and we need to stop it, so redirect. Post something political, or, I don't know, hug a tree or a strangers dog and take a picture."

“Message understood.”

“And call Y/N, thank her for not actually saying what she was probably wanting to."

“No. Hard pass." He shook his head as he spoke.

“I wasn’t asking.”

"Fine." Chris grumbled. "But I'm not happy about it."

“Good boy,” came the sarcastic reply.

He ended the call and with a huge groan scrolled through his contacts, stopping at one; PIMA. With a deep breath and an eye roll, he hit call and sat tapping his foot as he tried to reach you.

“What do you want?” You answered after his third attempt.

"Saw your slow pitfall this morning. I'm supposed to be thanking you for not speaking your mind. So... Thanks." He chewed on his cheek.

She scoffed, “well you can tell Meg you did as you were told, good boy. How the fuck she puts up with you I don’t know.”

"Why are you such a brat?”

“And don’t worry, my team have no response to this shit storm on social media prepared. I can’t be bothered.”

“You know, there wouldn't be a shit storm to not be bothered with and we wouldn't be having this conversation if you'd just done what you’re media coached to do and that's reflect, redirect and move on. You....got sucked in." He growled.

There was a pause, “fuck you!” You snarled in response, “I deflected well enough and saved your precious golden boy reputation despite me being well within my rights not to-“

“Within your rights?”

“-do you have any idea how it felt earlier in the year when that article broke? Your fans ripped me apart. I was fat, ugly, fame hungry and you did NOTHING to stop any of it!”

"Shoes fit, sweetheart. You came at me, remember? You said you didn't like how Joe and Anthony had pinned you and Scarlett up like they had, you didn't like the way we had to improvise. I simply defended a character I've been for quite some time."

There was a pause as you took a deep breath, “I didn’t come at you!! I raised a concern I had, and Scarlett, Seb and Mackie had my back but you, you made me feel like shit on set. Like I was stupid, dumb…and left me to the wolves. You know what, Marvel might be my first big break but it’s yours too, remember that, asshole!”

The line went dead as the call purposely dropped on your end. Chris grumbled as he tossed his phone down and ran his hands over his face, scratching at that beard of his that was slowly growing back in. "Jesus, she's fahking impossible. Boils my blood."

But something about what you said was nagging at him. Sure, things had gotten hairy on set but he had simply assumed you’d ignored the comments and reactions arms he had. And he certainly hadn’t set out to belittle you.

It bothered him all the more because during filming for The Losers, you’d been tight. Real tight. It made him a little sad to think somewhere that had gotten lost along the way.

He looked at the phone again and was just about to call you back, perhaps attempt to maybe talk it through a little more calmly, when it lit up. Mackie was calling.

"What's up, dude?"

“Listen, far be it from me to get involved but what the fuck is with you and Y/N. She’s just called me in hysterics.”

Chris hung his head as if Mackie could see him. "I needed to talk to her and it ended like it always does, a fahking death match."

“Listen, I’m gonna say my piece and I’m done but don’t you think this had got outta hand? She merely questioned what the endgame with Shadow was. It wasn’t a dig st the improv scene. She just couldn’t see how it fit. But that aside, you really thinks she deserves the hatchet job that’s going down now?”

He had him there. No she didn't, neither of them did.

"You fucking idiot." Mackie sighed deeply when Chris remained silent. “Look, I’m on my way over to see her…”

“You’re in Florida?”

“She invited us over so the kids could enjoy Disney World. We’re going to the premiere. Her parents can’t make it, her dad ain’t been well.“

"She... Oh." Again, the situation left him without words, a rare occurance for himself. Then he sighed. "Just text me when you're done, huh? I'll try calling her later when she's calmed down."

But Anthony wasn’t done, “you know, she met with Feige a few weeks back? Asked him how much it would cost to back out of her contract and recast her.”

That floored him. "What?"

“You heard.”

"Fahk." He drawled in his slow, thick Boston accent.

"Yeah, fuck." Mackie mimicked. "You need to calmly fix this, for all our sakes."

“How? Like…”

“I dunno man, be more Steve Rogers… perhaps mean your apology.” There was a pause before Anthony laughed, “actually don’t, because he’s a reckless, stubborn asshole.”

"We're a lot alike in that sense." Chris sighed. "I'll think of something. Just... Keep her from going off the rails with ya? We used to be friends. We were tight, years ago. Then, I have no clue."

"I'll do my best, see you in the new year.”

"Yeah, see you man. Give my best to the wife and kids."

The call ended and Chris groaned. This was shit, and right now he felt like an asshole. He hated bullies, another of Steve’s traits he shared but now, he was beginning to feel a little like one.

And this was all down to the fact he couldn’t control his real feelings…

“Dick head,” biting his cheek he picked up his phone, checking Twitter again and grimaced. Some of it had taken a real nasty turn.

“Oh, fahk this…” he grumbled, and before he could back out, he typed a tweet.

It wasn’t much, but for now it was the best he could think of. His words were true, you were. As he sat and thought about everything, looking around in his lonely, huge, Hollywood hills home, he sighed as the bones of a plan formed on his head.

Standing from his couch, he headed for his room. This idea was not smart, it would stir a tonne of shit, and Megan would highly disapprove, but, he knew deep down you weren’t going to take his calls, no matter how hard Anthony worked at you. This called for desperate measures.

He refused to be the reason someone walked out of a job, a job that was going to skyrocket one incredibly talented and beautiful woman into the fast lane of her career.

"Josh, I need a favor. Or two...."

🎄🎄🎄🎄

You woke the next morning with a banging head. Mackie and you had sunk a very expensive scotch before he had left in the early hours of the morning after you’d assured him you were okay.

If anything you were embarrassed, annoyed too at how much that Bostonian Bastard could get under your skin.

Grumbling into your pillow you tried to comprehend where it all had gone wrong so quickly. Your time in Costa Rica years ago with him and the rest of The Losers was a great time, one of the times you'd ever had on set. You and Chris had been close, very close. Almost crossing that line between friends and more but not quite making it. But you’d left things on good terms, stayed in touch, talked and chatted when you saw one another at events and the like.

You’d been excited to get the part in Marvel, even more so when you were told you’d be one of the leads in the second Cap film… but for some reason, Chris had been lukewarm at best the moment you arrived on set. You, being fresh from a breakup, had probably let it get to you more than you should but it had. And still did. Because you didn’t understand.

"Fucking asshole," you groaned, slowly sitting up. You grimly looked around your bedroom and sighed. "Shower, then coffee, no, coffee then shower."

You called downstairs for fresh coffee and toast with some greasy bacon and eggs, some potatoes and fruit. Then decided showering the stench of scotch away was a good idea while you waited for room service.

Just as you’d dressed in a pair of jeans and a logo tee, there was a knock on your door.

"Just a second!" You called our, towelling off your wet hair, bare feet padding to the door.

You swung it open, but weren’t greeted by your breakfast.

"What the fuck?”

Blue eyes pierced yours from under the brim of a Red Sox cap, a sweatshirt and jeans covering his body. "Room Service?"

“Idiot!” You hissed, glancing up and down the corridor.

You yanked him inside and grabbed your cart behind him. "Just what the fuck are you doing here?" Your head spun, it throbbed.

“I wanted to talk to you, and you won’t answer my calls.”

“Yeah, there’s a reason for that, I don’t wanna talk to you!”

"Y/N," he sighed, taking your hands, "come on, this is extreme. We're too old for this shit."

"Extreme?” You yanked your hands away. “You're preaching to me about extreme actions when you literally just flew over three thousand miles all because your co-star didn't answer your phone call. How fucking childish! Even for you!"

"Ant told me you went to see Fiege."

At that you blinked and then shook your head. “He had no right to do that.”

"Deal with that later," he popped a potato in his mouth. "Sit down and talk to me. Obviously, as you pointed out, I flew over three thousand miles to fix whatever absolute disaster has been created between us for whatever fahking reason. We used to be friends."

“Yeah, and then you turned into an asshole.” You wrapped your arms around your chest as you blinked back tears. “You made me feel like shit!”

"I'm sorry, you're right, I did, I was. I am an asshole. I don’t know where we went wrong.”

“You! You went wrong…”

“Fine, but why has it taken us six months to sit down and talk about this?"

You blinked and scoffed, “I had no desire to talk to you and be told I was being a drama Queen! You brushed me off, were cold… I’ve got no answers because I don’t KNOW!”

"Then we're at an impasse because I don't know either."

"You wasted your time and money on this trip, Chris."

“Clearly,” he sighed, “but God loves a trier huh?”

You stared at him, unable to even think if this was a scotch dream, your worst nightmare or the ghosts of Christmas past and present playing one fucked up trick on you.

“Look,” he leaned forward in his seat a little, blue eyes trained on you. “For what it’s worth I’m sorry. I’ve no explanation, I should have seen how it was making you feel, and for what it’s worth, I meant what I tweeted last night. And if you leave now, I think it will be a huge mistake on your part, and a huge loss for the rest of us.”

You licked your lips, your bottom one being pulled through your teeth. Your hand ran through your wet hair. "I can't... I don't know. The offer is on the table. I'm supposed to be back in LA to meet with them again after Christmas."

“They actually said you could sever?”

"We're negotiating." You answered honestly.

Chris took a deep breath and nodded, “I’m assuming there’s a deadline seeing as we’re supposed to start the prep for filming the next Avengers on March.”

"Like I said, after Christmas."

“Okay.” He slapped his thighs and stood up. “I’ll leave you to it. I’ve said my piece and, well, I’m sure you’ll do what’s right for you. But, I do mean this, it’ll be a shame to see you go,”

You grabbed his forearm, "Chris..."

“Yeah?”

"I don't want to go. But I don't know if I can handle this anymore," you admitted shyly.

He hung his head, “yeah I get that too. And I’m sorry. I really am.”

"Is it me? Am I that hard to work with? Because we didn't have this problem before."

“No, not at all. I just… I honestly didn’t mean to act like I did. I don’t know what it was. I wasn’t aware I was doing anything, certainly not before our bust up anyway. But that’s not an excuse, I get it.”

You looked at him for a moment. His eyes were earnestly searching yours, his face genuinely contrite and you could tell he was being honest.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, deciding to take the olive branch. For your sake, not his…

"Maybe I took it more personal than I needed to. I just... I'd just gotten out of something and I brought it to work with me. Failed the first rule, you know."

“We all do that.” He chuckled then sighed. “Have you heard from him recently?”

"No. He's with... It doesn't matter, he's moved on. I gave him the ring back and that's it."

“His loss.” Chris shrugged.

There was a brief pause as you thought about him. How it went down and how much it hurt you.

"He felt threatened. My career was going up and his stalled." You shrugged. "He didn't want me to take the Marvel job."

“Yeah well, for the record, I never liked the prick.”

“And there he is,” you chuckled, shaking your head, “there’s the Chris I know and kinda like.”

“Kinda?”

“Don’t push it.” Your smile was soft. You sighed. "What the fuck happened?" You stood. "I... We..."

“I don’t know, I wish I did.”

"You kissed me in Costa Rica. It was the wrap party, we never spoke of it again."

Chris swallowed, “I know. I… well, I pulled a Steve, didn’t I? By the time I got my head out my ass, you were dating him and… well, I got back together with Minka…”

"You won out, I'm the over dramatic, single one." You chuckled uncomfortably.

“Hardly,” he shook his head, “ didn’t work for either of us did it?”

"You.... The two of you..."

"Two months ago. We're just not the same people. We tried. Gave it a year but," he shook his head.

“I had no idea! How the fuck did I miss that?”

“Well, we didn’t make a huge deal of it. It’s mostly gone under the radar so far, and it’s not like we really talked is it? I know you don’t like her.”

“She also doesn’t like me.”

You gave him a second, a chance to see if there was anything he wanted to share more but didn't.

"Okay, let’s… I… start over.” You licked your lips, “just… try not to be dickheads?”

"Deal, easy as that."

“Okay,” you nodded, “I don’t wanna be rude but I’m meeting Ant and the kids in an hour but…” your hands pulled at one another.

"Well, maybe if you don't have plans, we can grab some drinks, on the down low later? Either my room or yours, just hang out, talk, catch up?"

"Sure, erm… I can message you when I’m back?”

"Yep, I'll be here. Josh snagged me a premiere ticket just in case you slammed the door on me now. I figured I'd keep trying until you talked to me."

"Pretty extreme, even for you, Evans."

"Don’t worry, I was going in through the backdoor. You've had enough bullshit this week thanks to me."

“Maybe showing a united front would stop this bullshit once and for all,” you mused.

“Maybe, we can talk it through later. I’m happy to do whatever.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it,”

"I mean it. Whatever started this shit, I fucked up, and I'm sorry." He now stood at the door, his hand in the handle.

You were behind him. “Fresh start remember?”

"I know, just..." He pointed to his head, "clearing out the noise."

“Gets loud in there huh? I feel ya.” You gestured to your own.

"We should talk about that shit, some time, like we used to."

“One step at a time,” you gave him a soft smile.

"I'll see you tonight. Maybe." He reached out to hug you.

"Yeah, maybe." You hugged him back.

With a final nod he left and you watched the door close behind you. You stood still before you wiped the tears from your cheeks and turned to get ready for your day.

🎄🎄🎄🎄

Part 2: Present

#wiypt25daysofchristmas #chris evans #Chris Evans x reader

148 notes · View notes

fanfic-scribbles · 2 years

Text

All I Want For Christmas Is...

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: What do you get a man who doesn’t seem to want anything? No, really, you’re asking. Bucky is terrible to shop for. Thankfully (or not) he doesn’t seem to have a lot of good memories, so you set out to help him make better ones, all while making sure he never finds out about your crush on him. Fool proof. …You hope.

Quick facts: Romance – Bucky Barnes/Reader – Nondescript Reader

Tags: Fluff, Friends to lovers, the love is requited they’re both just idiots, Reader & Steve Rogers friendship, Christmas fic, Christmas tropes, Christmas romance, you want Christmas I got the Christmas, except for the actual religious stuff, a very secular Christmas I guess, cultural Christmas?, Idk anymore merry whatever

Words: 8974

A/N: I started writing this last year and never got to finish it in time for Christmas. I found it again, really liked what I had, and scrambled to eke out an ending. I hope you’re having a good December, whatever you’re doing, and may next year be better for all of us ♥

You are on a mission.

“What about that one?”

“Eh…”

It’s not going great.

“Steve, seriously,” you say and sigh, putting the catalogue on the table. “You're his best friend; can you please help me out?”

“You’re his best friend too,” Steve says defensively.

“Not like you are.”

“That’s not true.”

It absolutely is, but Steve can be stubborn at even the most inconsequential of times, and you decide (reluctantly) that it isn’t in your best interest to argue with the man who’s supposed to be helping you. “Supposed to be” being the key phrase here, because you are no closer to finding a good Christmas gift for Bucky than you were yesterday. Or the day before. Or…

“What did you get him?”

Steve shrugs. “I found some old recipe books I thought he might like, since he seems to be enjoying learning to cook.”

“Damn, that’s good,” you say. One of the problems in shopping for Bucky is that he keeps trying out new hobbies. Most of them he tries just for the novelty, but a few have stuck. Cooking and baking are the newest but he really seems enjoy them. Of course Steve would figure that out where you couldn’t. That’s why he’s the best friend. “And he’s too fussy about his cooking supplies.”

Steve smiles wryly. “That’s why I went for books.”

“I can’t do books. That’s cheating now,” you grumble and lean back in your chair.

“You are one of his best friends,” Steve says and sips his coffee. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“I’m terrible at gifts though! I gave him candy for his birthday, Steve.”

“Specialty candy that actually meant something to him.”

You cross your arms. “He didn’t even eat it. I found it in his drawer just last week, completely untouched. Pristine.”

Steve squints. “You–”

“Yeah, yeah; ‘violation of privacy,’ blah blah blah. I’m desperate!” you say and lean forward. “I’ve been able to scrape something together for everyone else this year but it’s already December first and I have nothing for Bucky. He’s my best friend! And somehow completely immune to materialism! It’s terrible!”

Steve smiles. You glare at him. “And you,” you say pointedly. “You said you would help me.”

At that, he does look chagrined, and then slides into being thoughtful. Or conniving. It’s hard to tell the difference with him, sometimes. “I think you might be putting too much weight on this,” Steve says. “Even if you don’t give him anything, the fact that you’ll be at the get-together means a lot to him.”

“He invited me to a party where he is supplying the food and drink,” you say. And while the fact that Bucky can’t handle potlucks is completely understandable given all his varied trauma, it also acts as the rock to your hard place in this, the season of giving. Wait– on second thought, that candy was an even worse gift than you realized. You put your head in your hands. “I fucking hate Christmas.”

“Easy, Scrooge,” Steve says and chuckles.

“A merry bah humbug to you.”

Steve pats your hand consolingly but he’s quiet for several seconds– just long enough for you to slink further into inconsiderate misery– until he says, “Hey.”

“Hey” from Steve Rogers is a danger sound. A clarion of terrible ideas and bad tidings for anyone else around him. “Hey” from Steve Rogers has made an entire room of Avengers freeze up, made Natasha seriously consider giving up her life to escape to a convent, and given Bucky an aneurysm more times than he can count he has assured you. More personally, a “Hey” from Steve Rogers once almost got you arrested slash killed and did get you maybe a little bit kidnapped and pissed Bucky off so much he gave Steve the silent treatment for a week.

But…you’re desperate. And a “hey” from Steve Rogers is, at least, always interesting. “What,” you say warily, even though at this point all you’re trying to do is fish for ideas.

“Bucky doesn’t like things so much as he likes doing things,” Steve says. “So what if you take him out?”

That’s surprisingly reasonable and level-headed and much more boring than you were expecting. Until you realize what he means and you feel like reaching across the table and grabbing him by his stupidly-large throat. “You swore you would never–”

“I’m not, I’m not!” Steve waves you off (and slides his chair back an inch or two). “I haven’t said anything!” He frowns. “I think it’s stupid that you won’t just come out with it–”

“Steve.”

“–But I recognize that’s not my call to make,” Steve says and lifts his head imperiously. “For the record though, it is stupid.” He puts his hand up before you can tell him what you think. “He’s not materialistic. But he’s lacking in good memories. So, as his “friend,” wouldn’t it be nice to help him make some special ones?”

“I hang out with him all the time though,” you say, but despite yourself, that doesn’t sound like a terrible idea. You do hang out with Bucky as much as you are both physically able, so why not hang out with him while doing things that are a bit more…special? As friends of course. You rue the day Steve ever found out about your crush on your shared best friend as he has yet to let you live it down, and you are going to make sure no one else ever finds out about it. “But maybe some…holiday-ish things wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Whatever you think, Bucky does love hanging out with you,” Steve says and smiles at you warmly. He has a lot more faith in the idea of a romantic relationship between you and Bucky and it makes you squirm. Things are good now. They’re so good and you are going to do absolutely nothing to ruin that.

“It’s probably just because I, at least, don’t go running headlong into fights, and haven’t made Charles Xavier consider retirement, and neither do I get my friends kidnapped.”

“Okay, I apologized for that last one a hundred times and it wasn’t really my fault–”

There are approximately seventy billion things to do during the winter according to the number of lists on Pinterest and Google, but the number may be between ten and thirty, gauging by how many of the same carry-overs you find across all these varied lists. From those you’ve made a list of your own, full of the things Bucky might actually like to do.

‘Might’ being the operative word– you don’t know if he’ll go for sledding or ice skating but you have them down just in case he shows interest. You wrote down ‘caroling’ mostly for shits and giggles and quickly crossed it out. Some of the other ones– baking, sipping hot cocoa together, watching Christmas movies– are all things you’re pretty sure you’d do with him normally, but you wrote them down anyways. Because they sound like fun.

And if they’re also good excuses to cuddle…well, Bucky is very touchy-feely and you never (ever) turn that down.

“Here you go.”

You take the mug of hot chocolate with a grateful smile and scoot over a little bit to give Bucky some room when he sits down next to you. However he just leans in closer and…you don’t try to move again. “So, what’s this about?” he asks and takes a loud slurp of his drink.

You clear your throat and sit up. “So I’m making a list–”

“Are you checking it twice?” Bucky asks and steals a marshmallow from your cup even though his pile sticks up over the top of his cup.

“You’re not funny,” you say, even though you’re trying really hard not to smile (while you also try to protect the rest of your marshmallows).

“I’m hilarious,” he says. His smile is sly and you pretend you don’t see him coming just to be able to focus on it, even though he’s going to look like a squirrel soon and you won’t have any marshmallows left. It’ll be worth it.

“Back to the subject,” you say and clear your throat pointedly. You wish you had papers to thump, but as it is you wiggle your phone. “I thought, since you’re okay with being Christmas-adjacent, we would do some Christmas-y things this year.”

“I did Christmas-y things last year,” Bucky says. “This isn’t my first year out in the world.”

“I know, but I don’t know all the things you’ve done, so I made a list of my favorites,” you say. “Are you in?”

His gaze is so fond it makes your heart ache. “You know I am.”

You clear your throat, and get on with what’s important here:

1. Put up decorations 2. Bake

Bucky squints at you. “I was gonna do those anyway.”

You hug his arm. “But I’m going to do them with you. Friendly bonding.”

“Oh,” Bucky says. He smiles, and goes back to reading

3. Hot cocoa by the fire

“Check,” Bucky says. You pinch him.

4. Ice skating

“Nope,” Bucky says and hits the check box, crossing it out.

“You’re not even going to pretend to humor me?” you say.

“Nope,” Bucky says even more emphatically.

You laugh and delete the line. “Fine by me. Now I don’t have to humiliate myself.”

“…Wait–”

“Too late!”

5. Letter to Santa

Bucky moves to check that one too but you move the phone away. “No,” you say. “It’s cute and fun and you’ve never done it in your life. Consider it part of your bucket list.”

Bucky glowers at you. “My bucket list is cooler than that.”

“Well then making you write a letter to Santa is part of my bucket list,” you say.

“I’m not mailing a letter to a fictional creeper,” Bucky grumbles.

“You don’t actually have to mail it.” You poke his side. “Now stand down.”

He settles back down with a, “Does Steve know you're going for his job?” and you aggressively snuggle into him like he’s the world’s most stubborn pillow. He’s certainly the mouthiest.

6. Sledding???

You wait, expecting an argument, but nothing comes. Bucky looks pensive, but when you stare at him he shrugs and admits, “That could be fun.”

You beam. “Can we steal Steve’s shield?”

“Tempting, but we’d go way too fast,” Bucky says.

“But it’d bug the hell out of him.”

“…I’ll think about it.”

7.Snowball fight

Bucky clicks his tongue. “I don’t wanna take you out like that.”

“I’m amazing at snowball fights,” you say. Maybe it’s a bit of a stretch, but you won’t just let him take the win without trying for it. “I’d slaughter you.”

Bucky lets out a low whistle. “You sure you wanna challenge me like that?”

“I’m going to end you.”

8. Christmas movies 9.Christmas music

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Not like we can get away from those.”

You roll your eyes right back at him. “We’re going to enjoy them and that’s that.”

10. Tree-lighting ceremony???

“No,” Bucky says softly but firmly. He clears his throat. “Not that you can’t. It’s just…I’m not comfortable with big crowds right now. Gonna try and steer clear where I can.”

“Okay,” you say and scribble out a few other selections. Maybe next year, maybe not. It doesn’t matter, as long as Bucky’s comfortable.

11. Donate unwrapped toys

“We can do that at an off time,” you say. “We’ll buy a couple of presents and then drop them off.”

“I like that one,” Bucky says thoughtfully.

12. Wrap presents together

“But then I’ll know what you got me.”

Bucky’s joking, but the reminder that you don’t have a real gift for him makes you freeze up. For just a moment, because he’s smiling and he winks at you and you still have a couple of weeks to dredge into desperation. For now, you’re going to pretend that all is right.

“Except for each others’ gifts,” you say and amend the list to say as much. “Happy now?”

“No,” he says and scowls, though the smile tugging at his lips lets you know otherwise.

“Good,” you say and lift your cup. “We’ll start tomorrow.”

You don’t know why you thought this was a good idea.

“Are these things sentient?” Bucky grumbles and tries to untangle his fingers from the never-ending string of lights.

“They wouldn’t be so tangled if you put them away right last year,” you say and gingerly pick up another ornament to put it back in its case.

Bucky grunts and manages to get his hand free. He looks up at you. “We don’t even have a tree yet.”

The ‘we’ makes your heart do a flip, even though the tree wouldn’t be yours. Not like that. “I’m just putting them away. We don’t want any more of them to break,” you say and shoot him a quick smile. He grins back, and you quickly duck your head.

It takes entirely too long to decorate a one-bedroom apartment, but you and Bucky manage at last to hang some lights, stars, snowflakes, and a twisted-looking snowman that he insists should go in the garbage– so of course you put it on the wall opposite his bed.

“I’m going to have to see that thing every time I wake up,” he whines.

“Yup!” You put your arm around his shoulders. “Now that it’s festive, we can get to the good stuff.”

Bucky perks up a little bit. “Cookies?” he asks, sweet-tooth fully activated.

You nod. “Cookies.”

You act as assistant to Bucky’s master baker, but that’s more than fair considering this is his home and he is very particular about how his things are handled– again, more than fair. Bucky may not be materialistic in the ‘easy to buy for’ sense but he has a strong attachment to the things he does own. Also? Bucky is turning out to be really, really good in the kitchen no matter what he tries to make, and it’s all you can do to wait for these cookies to bake and set so they can get frosted and, most importantly, eaten.

You sit at the breakfast bar and watch Bucky move around. What he’s doing you don’t really know– you’re not paying that close of attention. What catches your eye is how he moves so smoothly, pulling out supplies quickly because he knows where everything is, turning his back to the door without giving it a wary look-see, flashing you a brilliant smile over his shoulder before focusing on whatever task is at hand.

You’ve known him since he was healed enough to reach out to new people and even from that he’s come so far. He’s amazing, in every sense of the word, and now he’s here hanging out with you, in his warm, cozy home, and yet something in you aches for…more.

Bucky’s suddenly in front of you and you blink but keep from jolting back. The cartoon face of his Frosty the Snowman apron peeks just barely over the counter as Bucky leans closer. “What’s on your mind?” he asks and even throws his messy dishtowel over his shoulder like a bartender about to have a heart-to-heart.

You smile. There’s no level of drunk enough that will get you to burden Bucky with your feelings, but you knock twice on the counter to play along. “Hit me.”

He produces a mug of something covered in whipped cream. You don’t know yet what it is but you’re sure it will be delicious, especially when Bucky winks and says, “Special.”

“Always is,” you say and try to ignore the way his cheeks flush at that.

He waits a few seconds to ask, “So what’s wrong?” but still you are completely unprepared to answer, even though you knew it was coming.

“Nothing,” you say even as you chew on that question.

He scowls at you, but there’s a lightness there and all you can do is smile. Bucky is so good, so strong, and you’re just…you. Sometimes you don’t quite know why he seems to like hanging out with you. What does a normal human have to offer a man who’s lived a multitude of lives in a hundred years, and broken through trauma that everyone expected to break him? And yet he sits with you on the couch and makes fun of bad movies, and helps you put a new bookcase together, and lets you play with his hair when you’re bored, and takes you out for coffee when you’ve had a bad day. Steve may be his number one (for good reason), but Bucky is definitely your best friend.

And yet.

“Do you ever think about all the good stuff you have and still want…more?” you ask, unsure if you should, but it seems safe (vague) enough. “Not something different, but still more?”

Bucky scoffs. “All the damn time,” he says and rolls his shoulders. “I’m real greedy. But,” he says before you can correct him, “…you always say that isn’t the worst thing.”

“True,” you say. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. So far it hasn’t hurt anything, and you’re inclined to let sleeping dogs lie. You raise your cup. “Can I be greedy for more of this?”

“When the cookies come out,” Bucky says and hits his mug to yours. You drink, and let yourself settle. Bucky relaxes with you, until he eventually remembers to get the cookies before they can burn and turns to the oven all swearing and grumbling. You laugh, supportive best friend you are, and take a stupid photo of yourself making a dumb face for the camera while Bucky’s bent over the oven in the background. It’s the kind of photo you’d post to social media, if Bucky was comfortable with that, but since he’s not you’re just going to send the photo to Steve and Sam with a pithy little caption.

As you try to think of one, though, another idea pops up. And it’s…pretty decent. Steve has had some time to collect some photos, especially since everyone and their mom (and grandmoms, and great– well, you know) wants a picture with Captain America, and he’s gotten a lot more comfortable with the kinds of photos his friends like to take. Bucky though is highly distrustful and makes sure he’s scarce for any sort of public group photos. He only lets you take them because you’ve sworn a blood oath to never put them up for other people.

You file the photo away into a new folder and when he puts the plate in front of you you snap a few pictures– “I’m making everyone else jealous,” you claim, and while you do send one photo to the group chat, you take a moment to quickly open a new tab in your browser and type in, ‘how to make a scrapbook.’

“We’re doing them out of order.”

You roll your eyes and hold up Bucky’s jacket. “I put them in the order I thought of them, not in the order we’re doing them. Come on; getting the shopping done now is going to be less of a pain in the ass than if we wait long enough to have to contend with deadbeat dads and estranged cousins.”

Bucky grumbles but he puts the jacket on and doesn’t whine all the way to the store. When you get there it’s…a little crowded for first thing in the day, but it’s manageable, and if Bucky clings to you like you’ll get swept away in the masses…well, better safe than sorry.

He does relax a little bit when you get to the toy section. Relax in the sense of being way more overwhelmed by the number of toys than the amount of people, but you’ll take it. “Jesus; how are we supposed to pick?”

“Narrow down by excluding things that are too cheap or too expensive, and then start picking stuff that looks neat,” you say and start down an aisle.

“Is ‘neat’ a scientific measurement or a mathematic one?” Bucky asks dryly but follows closely behind you.

You roll your eyes and stop in between displays. “It’s like…” You grab one of the medium stuffed animals and show it to him. “Look at this. Small, squishy, utterly adorable.” You reach over to grab a promising Nerf gun off the end display. “This? Awesome. Great color combo. Super fucking fun.” You put them both back so you can look at the other options and make a more informed decision. Right now, you are merely making a point. “Very different options but they’ll both be distributed to kids who’ll love them. So yeah– look for ‘neat’ stuff.”

Bucky nods and looks thoughtful, but he just follows and nods his assent to most of your choices, only picking between two when you’re really stuck– and even then he says ‘both’ most of the time. He’s not super into the Nerf guns, unsurprisingly, and he’s lost on most of the dolls, except when he grabs one and mutters about how his neighbors’ grandkids would really love them, so he grabs a few from that line and you stick them in the seat of the cart to keep them separate.

It’s when you get to the action figures –namely, the small section of Captain America figures– that Bucky turns to you with a sly grin and says, “Oh, we are so getting some of these.”

You laugh out loud and watch as he starts to dismantle the shelf.

In the end you actually got a fairly good mix of things for kids to enjoy and the Captain America merchandise was only about twenty percent of it. It was mostly a way for you and Bucky to annoy Steve– you have so many photos and you didn’t even have to sneak any candids in. Operation: Christmas Scrapbook has had an unexpected windfall and you could not be more pleased.

“Nice that we don’t have to wrap all those,” Bucky says when you get back to his place after dropping everything off. “But maybe we should start working on wrapping the gifts we do have.”

“After tomorrow,” you say and flop on the couch. It’s late after shopping and lunch and trucking in a ton of toys to a drop box too small to fit them all. “The thing I ordered for Natasha isn’t coming in until then.”

“Ah.” Bucky falls back onto the couch next to you. Almost on top of you, and you playfully shove him only for him to playfully shove right back. You think people would be shocked at how gentle he can be, and you feel smugly superior that you get to know. “What’d you get her?”

“A set of make-up brushes styled to look like various weapons,” you say. “Even if she keeps using her favorites, I think she’ll get a kick out of it.”

“That’s really good,” Bucky says. He swings his arm behind you on the couch and grins at you. “Did mine come in yet?”

“I have most of yours,” you say, because it’s sort of true. You have been taking a lot of pictures, and tomorrow you’re going to steal out to a craft store for the supplies you need to put it all together.

“How much are you getting me?” Bucky asks, looking slightly panicked.

You laugh and for a moment you imagine kissing his worries away, and you suddenly choke because where did that come from, that sort of thing is supposed to be buried deep in your subconscious, only for eldritch gods and maybe therapy to know. You wave Bucky’s worried hand away. “Sorry– choked on air.”

“You're such a disaster,” Bucky chuckles, though he rests his hand on your back and rubs lightly.

“You have no idea,” you say with a smile that feels brittle.

“You know I do,” he says.

You know he doesn’t– not quite– and you intend to keep it that way. “Anyway,” you say. “I didn’t really get you that much. I just have to–” Wait a minute. “Hey. Hey.”

“What? I was just agreeing with you,” Bucky says, opening his eyes so wide, pouting so innocently you immediately smash a pillow into his face. He breaks and laughs, and soon you are under nonstop attack from a man just as deadly with a pillow as he is with anything else.

“I give, I give!” you laugh and wave your arms wildly.

He stops assailing you with couch pillows and, while you try to breathe, helps you sit up. “You started it,” he says.

“Yeah, yeah,” you grumble. You’re still smiling, so it’s not very effective, and as you’re about to tell him off for trying to wheedle more details out of you, your phone chimes. Just a glance makes you jump. “Shit; it’s late.”

“I’ll take you home,” he says and before you can protest he puts his hand on the small of your back and you think as long as he keeps doing that you’ll agree to whatever he wants. Suddenly, you wish very badly he wanted more, and you try to hide how that makes you ache.

The spirit of the season is getting to you, and this list is the best-worst idea you’ve ever had. When you’re safely alone at home, you flop down on your bed and pull out your phone to text Steve, still moping in the dark.

‘Will you hate me for longing after your best friend?’

His reply of, ‘Only if you don’t make an honest man of him. Natasha agrees,’ makes you scowl.

‘You promised,’ you insist.

‘She figured it out herself. I stand by that I’m not saying anything. I wouldn’t do that to you.’

It’s entirely too sweet. So of course he follows it up with a picture of chicken.

‘We’re not friends anymore,’ you lie and slam your phone on the table. It sounds again and you ignore it…for all of seventeen seconds, and you sigh and grab it again.

‘I’m here if you need me.’

You don’t know how to respond. You itch to talk about it with someone, but that doesn’t seem fair when Steve’s already burdened by the knowledge of your incessant crush on your shared best friend and promised to inaction. No; this is your problem alone.

‘…Do you have any more pictures of cute chickens?’

He retaliates by sending you pictures of the ugliest chickens you have ever seen in your life, which sort of brings them around to being cute again. Steve has never been very good at revenge.

Bucky has a surprise for you.

You try not to show how nervous that makes you.

“I’m a good driver,” he says for the thousandth time as he turns the SUV carefully around a bend.

“A good driver to where,” you say for maybe the tenth time as you continue to pass through trees and snow. So sue you, his pout is getting a little old. …Okay, so that’s a lie, but you have a persona to maintain, that persona being a person who is not stupidly in romantic like with their best friend who seems allergic to romantic anything.

“You’ll see,” Bucky says for the–

“Oh wow,” you say as the car comes out to a clearing of untouched snow and you park to the side of the mostly-unused road. In the distance is a hill and while there are a couple other cars here, with people already sledding, it’s all spread out so much you doubt you’ll have to interact with anyone.

“How’s this for sledding?” Bucky asks proudly and reaches back to slide out part of a sled he had hidden under the back seat.

“You weren't kidding when you said you didn’t want to deal with people,” you laugh but unbuckle your seatbelt, almost throwing it off in excitement.

“You complaining?”

“Fuck no. Let’s do this.”

And oh, do you. Despite the fast-growing ache that comes from spending hours in the snow, you and Bucky sally forth and his hesitancy to ride with you melts away in the face of that fact that the whole point of doing this is to do it together. Also, the plethora of chicken photos has helped your resolve through spite. Thanks Steve.

Fate even shines on you when, while Bucky shows the sled to the three little girls and their father, their other father stands by you and comments on what a cute couple you are. You’re a little tongue-tied at that but you don’t disabuse him of that notion. In fact, you take the opportunity to ask him to take some photos of you coming down the hill, and he cheerfully obliges, taking a whole series that will go nicely in that little scrapbook.

“You're really into this picture thing, huh?” Bucky asks as you two lean back against the car and catch your breath. The other families are packing up and the sky is turning dark with snow.

“I realized I don’t have a lot of photos of you, and you did say you didn’t mind as long as it stays private,” you say. You hesitate. “But if it bothers you–”

“It doesn’t,” Bucky says and gives you a crooked little grin. “It’s...good. Maybe you can text me some of them?”

This is perfect. “Maybe,” you say brightly and open up your phone to find one photo you’re not going to put in the book just to tide him over.

“Just don’t put one of those dumb dog filters on me.”

You smirk up at him. “Hang on, gotta find a good dog filter,” you say and dodge his weak attempt at a grab, laughing. But you deleted the near duplicates and all these photos are pretty good, so what are you going to send to his phone? You go through, wondering, until your legs are no longer jelly and your lungs are breathing easily even in the cold crisp air and you think maybe you have enough time for a few more rides before the weather turns–

A snowball hits your jacket and you yelp and almost drop your phone. You look around for the culprit and find Bucky, standing several yards away. You slip your phone in your pocket and give him a look. He laughs and immediately starts packing another snowball.

“Cheater!” you yell and duck behind the car just as a snowball crashes into pieces on the hood.

“It’s on the list!” Bucky yells back, laughing. You set to work putting together the most packed, biggest snowball you can manage. You are going to wreck him.

You are the one who ends up wrecked, covered in snow, and panting. Unsurprisingly, perhaps, as Bucky is as lethal with snowballs as he is with anything else. You are proud of the two hits you got on him– his thigh and hair– but you feel like you’ve been rolling in a snowbank and it’s really dark for what should be mid-afternoon.

“We outta head back to the city before we get buried,” Bucky says and looks around in some concern, like he too is only just noticing the weather.

“Get that heater going,” you tell him and head for the back with the sled. As soon as you get it in you run for the passenger seat, eager for the heat even though it isn’t fully warm yet. But it is warmer than outside, and that’s what matters.

The sky turns even darker and the snow picks up. Bucky focuses all his attention trying to get through the deluge but eventually he curses and turns around. “Bucky?” you ask.

“We’ll go back to that town we passed through and wait it out at the diner,” he says tersely.

“Sounds good to me. I’m starving.” You pat his arm gently, trying not to distract him, but he’s hunched over the wheel and scowling at the road. “We’ll be okay Bucky.”

“Yes we will be,” he says stubbornly, in the same tone of voice he uses when it’s late and you insist you’ll be fine getting home by yourself and he tells you that may be true, but it’s not happening on his watch. You smile and settle back into your seat. Bucky will get you to safety, and you’ll hang out in a nice warm diner, and it will be good.

And it is. Though it hasn’t stopped, the snow doesn’t seem to be coming down quite as much when you make it to town, and you and Bucky aren’t the only ones taking refuge in the little diner. There’s hot coffee, pancakes served all day, and you and Bucky relax after a morning well spent.

But the storm starts to pick up again, even worse, and the waitress comes over. “Sorry kids, but we’re shutting down in a half hour so we have a chance of getting home,” she says, sincerely apologetic. “You want some travel cups for your coffee?”

“Yes please,” you say with a growing sense of dread. But you made it to town, so that’s better than being stuck trying to drive on dark roads in a snowstorm. You look at Bucky, glowering at the clouds, and then back to the waitress with your mind made up. “Is there a place to stay the night nearby?”

“Oh yeah; there’s a bed and breakfast literally three buildings that-a-way–” she jerks her thumb behind her, “–or there’s a motel further down the road in the same direction. You should be fine. I’ll go get those cups for you.”

“Thank you,” you tell her and watch her leave. You turn back to Bucky who is still pouting with his chin resting in his palm. You kick him lightly, three times, until he finally looks at you. “We’ll check out the bed and breakfast first, then the motel if nothing’s available. Okay?”

“Okay,” he grumbles and looks away again.

“Hey,” you say and reach out to gently touch his arm. “I’m pretty sure your boss’ll understand if you’re not back tonight, right?”

You wait until he finally says, “Right.”

“And we had fun this morning, right?”

He lightens up a little at the memory. “Right.”

“So we have to stay the night unexpectedly.” You hold out your arms. “So what; we’ll head back out as soon as the snow gives a little and we’ll be back in the city by tomorrow. At least we found this town and didn’t get stuck on the roads trying to get back right away, right?”

He sighs but puts his arm down and sits up. “Right,” he says and looks at you again. His mouth turns down. “I’m sorry. Today was supposed to be perfect.”

“It was perfect. I had so much fun,” you say. “Didn’t…you?”

“Yeah. Yeah!” He smiles at you. Then smirks. “Burying you in snowballs was the best.”

You roll your eyes and he laughs, but the waitress comes back with the coffee and you and Bucky start getting everything together, and he throws extra money down. “Just for that comment, you’re paying for the room,” you say and hold the door open for him.

“Feels like the loser should pay,” he says, grinning at you. But out in the relentless cold he steps closer and holds an arm around you, and looks at the car.

“Leave it; we’ll take it if we have to hit the motel,” you say and you both start walking for the bed and breakfast. Thankfully it is as close as the waitress had said; a quaint building, surprisingly big, and absolutely covered in Christmas lights. When you step inside, it’s basically a scene out of any holiday movie. Roaring fire, pine so fresh and abundant it almost makes you sneeze, and there are so many lights that you have to blink a few times to adjust. It’s…perfect.

“Hello!” calls a young woman as she comes out of the back to stand at the counter, a smile on her face and reindeer antlers on her headband. You grin and drag Bucky up to her.

“Hi!” you say as Bucky shyly hangs back. Shy, yes, but as with every strange situation he is attached to your back. ‘Just in case,’ he always says. “We’re a little snowed in, it looks like. Do you have any rooms open for tonight?”

“We sure do!” she replies rather cheerfully. You wonder if she owns the place. Hopefully she at least gets a nice room, because you can hear the wind pick up.

At least now you don’t have to go back out into it on a trek to some crappy motel. If your room is as cozy as the main area looks, it’ll be worth the (likely terribly exorbitant) price you’re going to be paying. “We’d like a room with two beds please.”

“Oh.” She looks from you to Bucky and back again, surprised. You brace yourself for the ‘you're not a couple?’ question that’s so sure to come you can even feel Steve staring holes into your head from afar, but she thankfully just smiles apologetically. “I’m so sorry but those are filled up,” she says and looks on her computer. “I can get you two rooms with a single bed each, or one room with a king bed.”

You look at Bucky and consider your options. He’s trying not to look annoyed but this is one of those things that’s particular to him– he doesn’t like being in a separate room in unfamiliar places. Sam apparently learned that lesson the hard way once while traveling with Bucky and having to bunk in a motel one night. He went to sleep in his bed and woke up in the middle of the night to Bucky sleeping in the chair across from him because ‘it would have taken too long to get to him if anything happened.’ You’re still not sure if that shrill scream recorded on Bucky’s phone was actually Sam, but the point stands– and Bucky is shifting anxiously behind you.

“We’ll take the room with one bed,” you tell her and he sags with relief.

“Are you sure?” he asks, like you didn’t hear that immense sigh.

“It’ll be fine. Kick me, though, and I’m shoving you on the floor,” you say and smile at him. And then you realize– you’ll be sleeping in bed. With Bucky.

Steve really might kill you for not making an honest man out of him.

You think that might be preferable.

“I can sleep on the–”

“You are not sleeping on the floor,” you say for the thousandth time and stare at Bucky from your spot in the bed. He’s shuffling awkwardly by the door and you sigh and pat the comforter. “Come on; we’ve got clothes on, I’m so tired I’m going to pass out about five seconds after my head hits the pillow, and if I kick you too hard you can roll me right out of bed. Okay?”

Bucky huffs and doesn’t move to get in. “I have nightmares sometimes.”

“I know; I’ve stayed at your apartment before,” you say and pat the empty space again. The worries about sharing a bed have been utterly annihilated by the fact that you are so tired that you’re tempted to grab Bucky by the hair and drag him over. “You don’t thrash and even when I accidentally woke you up that one time you didn’t lay a hand on me. Now, I can’t go to sleep until I know you’re not going to be a self-martyring jerk, so please get over here so I can conk out for a few hours.”

He huffs but finally gets closer to the bed and, while you turn the sheets over you, he pointedly lies down on top of the sheets. Your head is on the pillow and you're so tired that you know you’re actually going to go to sleep reasonably quickly for the first time in forever, but you need to tell him off. Before you can say that you don’t have cooties or what the fuck ever it is that’s concerning him so much, he turns to face you– close, he’s so close– and puts his hand on your shoulder. “It’s fine,” he says softly and lets his eyes half-close. “I’m comfortable. Sleep.”

Dumbfounded by the fact that his face is so close you could, ostensibly, lean forward and kiss him…you decide to take his advice before you can do something irrevocably stupid and proceed to pass out for the night. As you drift off into unconsciousness though, you feel a sense of dread at what is supposed to be an innocent little crush starts to weigh heavy enough on you that it’s getting harder to breathe.

It’s going to be a good day. You slept in your own bed, you’re refreshed and organized, all you’re going to do is wrap presents and watch Christmas movies and listen to Christmas music, and after today you’re free to stay home and be by yourself for several days so you can get your head on straight before the holiday party. It’s going to be great.

Right. Because everything always goes according to plan.

A bow hits your face and you flinch, but when Bucky laughs you smile without reservation. No matter your issues, that will always be the best sound in the entire world.

“Thought you were supposed to be sharing the Christmas spirit with me?” he says, his smile fading slightly.

You can’t have that. You take the bow and stretch to put it on his head. You tap it a couple of times and his smile comes back fully when he asks, “Do I look like a present to you?”

“The best kind,” you say, though that has a different weight to you now. But he laughs, unknowing, and takes it off his head so he can unpeel the sticker side and attach it to a comically small box that’s barely able to be seen underneath the tails of the bow. He looks up at you again, shyly bites his lip in a poor bid to stifle a smile, and it feels like all your internal organs do a coordinated flip.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Yeah, Steve teases you about your crush on Bucky, but up until now it’s all been very innocent, stealing-looks-in-the-schoolyard, do-you-like-like-him, flower-petal-picking, longing-from-afar bullshit where you had feelings but they were easy enough to ignore because Bucky is your friend and you like just being around him. Well, that’s still true, but after that night of (very chastely) sleeping in the same bed, you find yourself thinking about running your fingers through his hair and pressing your body against his and wondering if his lips feel as soft as they look.

You go back to wrapping presents, fumbling over trying to make perfect lines when Bucky zips through his pile like a real-life Christmas elf, making them look as perfect as if they were set for a magazine photo spread.

“Ridiculous,” you grumble and playfully toss the roll of tape at Bucky. It bounces off his chest and he laughs as he looks over your attempts and then gives you a Look. Honestly, you know you can do better, but you’re a little…distracted.

“Hopeless,” he says fondly and takes the box right out of your hands, already carefully peeling at recently placed tape to try and repair it.

He has no idea, you think, but you can’t help but smile as he works his magic and makes Natasha’s gift look beautifully symmetrical.

“Is that one Steve’s?” he asks and squints at the messiest one.

“If it is then leave it,” you say and sip your drink. “He can have a mess. It suits him.”

Bucky looks at you like he’s trying to be reproachful, but he’s smiling. “Are you two fighting again?” he says and leans back with his own drink in his hands, acquiescing to your order.

“We don’t fight, we just have minor disagreements,” you say primly and take a sip to punctuate that you are classy and therefore passively-aggressively petty.

Bucky shakes his head. “Stubborn.”

“Yes, he is.”

Bucky rolls his eyes and goes back to wrapping his gift, and you turn your focus towards attempting to do the same.

“Still…you two are okay…right?”

Bucky’s tone is much more serious than you would like for such a subject and you stop what you’re doing to face him again. He’s staring at you, like he could see through anything you said, so it’s good that he only seems to care about a nonissue. Good for you, at least. “Of course we are,” you say. “You know we never seriously fight, right? And if we did, Steve’s smart– he’d eventually realize I’m right and come groveling.”

That ekes a small smile out of Bucky. “Sorry; it just seems like…you’re not feeling yourself, lately.”

“Oh, well…” You shrug as much nonchalance as you can. “You know how it is, this time of year. Holidays and whatnot.”

“I don’t know,” Bucky says. “This year has been better than others.”

“Really?” You lean in closer. “Finally getting comfortable in your own skin?”

“Sort of.” He studies you. “I think it’s just been a lot more fun.”

The way he looks at you makes you itch. It feels more serious, like he’s looking right through you. You swallow hard as he leans closer…and closer…

…and sticks a bow on your forehead. You let out a surprised laugh– it actually sticks fairly decently– and you can breathe again as he leans back. The near-heart attack was worth it for the smile on his face. “Do I look like a present to you?” you ask and find a gift to stick the bow on properly.

You know you’re in too deep when he says, “The very best kind,” and all you hear is your own longing reflected back at you.

The party is going well. It’s small, and the food is great, and everything looks nice, and–

“Why are you hiding in the bathroom?”

You jump a little when Steve sits down on the floor next to you. It’s a little cramped, but you have a feeling he’d be crowding your space even if you were at Tony’s tower instead of Steve’s brownstone.

“I’m not hiding,” you say. “I’m…taking a break.”

Steve doesn’t look any more convinced. You try to change tracks. “How did you know I wasn’t going to the bathroom?”

He says your name in an exasperated sigh. It’s all right; you’re not sure you want the answer to that question. “You know, Bucky’s taking a break too. In the guest bedroom.”

“Is he?”

“Yup.” Steve shoves a gift in your hands and– oh. It’s your gift. For Bucky. “Now’s a great time to give him this, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know.” You pick at a corner and quickly pull your hands back to make yourself stop. “If he’s taking a break, that means he wants to be alo–oone!”

Steve lifts you onto your feet and dusts your clothes for you. You have even more serious questions about his cleaning routine now. “You know you’re the exception,” he says and nudges you towards the door. Though you try to dig in your heels, there’s nothing really for it when your friend can tear a steel door off its hinges. “Now stop being a chicken and get going.”

“Okay, okay,” you say, if only to make sure you don’t get an embarrassing chaperone for the rest of the night, and you trudge out to meet your awkward doom and hopefully (hopefully) not make a fool of yourself.

It’s not easy when you open the door to the guest bedroom and see Bucky sitting on the floor with his back against the bed. With his hair done all nice, in new slacks and a button-down that he looks comfortable and oh so good in, it’s practically a crime he doesn’t have someone special to cuddle with.

You may not be all that special, but you can get the job done. Especially when he smiles at you like that. “Hey,” you say and shut the door behind you. “Steve kicked me out of my hideout. Can I join you?”

“Always,” Bucky says and pats the floor next to him. You sit down at his side and inhale deeply, drawing in the faint richness of his cologne. He scoots closer to you. “Where were you hiding out?”

“The bathroom.”

“Ah yeah; those are bad to hide in.” Bucky lightly bonks his head against yours. “People tend to need ‘em.”

“Not normally the one attached to Steve’s bedroom, but I guess he wants to be prepared for anything.” You bonk him back. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah; it’s going really well,” he says, sounding so sincere. “How about you? You like the food?”

“You know I do.” Your fingers are worrying over the gift again– at this point you’re going to wear the wrapping down with slow and steady erosion, so you pick it up off the floor and hold it towards him. “Here, I got this for you. Or, actually, I– …Merry Christmas.”

He squints and side-eyes you, because he’s talented like that, but he goes about unwrapping, and your stomach twists into a knot as he pulls the book out and studies it. It’s as simple as it gets– even though some of the covers had been hilariously cheesy, you had opted for plain black, so he wouldn’t mistake it for a gag gift. He flips through the first page, eyes roving over the Christmas memories you both had started making over the course of the month. There are little pictures you’ve snapped here and there, and what physical mementoes you could snag, like a toy collection flier, and a little brochure for the inn you stayed at.

Your stomach twists as he goes through it, looking as straight-faced as always. When he makes it to the first blank page and looks at you, his expression continues to be inscrutable. Despite not knowing whether he likes it or is trying to find a polite way to distract you so he can chuck it through a window, you clear your throat. “There are a lot of pages in that thing. You can stick photos in it, or other paper mementos, and write about neat things you’ve done or seen. It can be…a little memory book. Or a big memory book, with stuff that might make your journal too bul–ky!”

Bucky is crushing you in a hug. In a good way. In a very, very good way. Well, good but awkward, as your spine is stretched a little awkwardly, but you shift your legs, push your face into his shoulder, hug his body to yours, and it’s perfect.

“This is amazing,” he says and the way he squeezes you before loosening his hold (but not letting go) makes a shiver run through your body. He smiles. “Thank you.”

“I’m–I’m–” You swallow. His face is so close, nose right in front of yours; is this intentional? Is this real? “I’m just glad you like it.”

“I do. Like it.”

He hovers. You hover. It’s a little ridiculous, just how close you are to kissing, but…what if? What if you’re wrong, what if he’s just stuck and doesn’t know how to extricate himself, what if, what if…

…What if he wants this just as much as you do and you miss your chance forever because you’re too comfortable with what is that you never find out what could be?

“Hey Bucky?” You lick your lips. “Tell me if you don’t…like this.”

And you lean in, and press your lips to his, and Bucky immediately pulls you in as tight as he can. That certainly is an answer– not quite the one you were expecting (part of you is still braced for hands pushing on your shoulders and an apology), but even when you both break for air he doesn’t let go of you.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but…please tell me Steve didn’t put you up to this,” he says and looks at you with wide eyes begging for this to be real.

“Part of me wants to make sure you aren’t just playing along because Steve has been so–” Wait a minute. “Wait…wait…you told Steve…”

“I didn’t have to; he knows me too well.” Bucky flushes and looks down. But then he glances back at you. “You told Steve?”

“Biggest mistake of my life,” you huff. “He hasn’t let it go since. …Which makes more sense now.”

Bucky shakes with quiet laughter and rests his forehead on your shoulder. “Poor bastard; this whole time he’s had to listen to me and he knew how you felt.”

You groan and let your head fall on his shoulder. “He’s never going to let us live this down, is he?”

Bucky rubs your upper back gently. “Nope.”

You sit back (and relish in the fact that he doesn’t seem likely to let you go any time soon). He looks happy, and beautiful. “I don’t know how I’m gonna top this gift,” he says.

You have a joke about that, but it’s terrible, and you’re not out to ruin a relationship that is less than an hour old. Instead you look around, see the bow is in arm’s reach, and turn a smile on him. “I have an idea.”

“Oh yeah?” he asks, lips parting with his smile.

“Yeah.” You take the bow, and stick it on his head. It immediately falls off, but he chuckles, and you lean into him. “Merry Christmas, Bucky.”

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” he murmurs, and moves to kiss you again

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #avengers reader insert #avengers fanfic #captain america fanfic #reader insert #christmas fic #idiots in love #fluff

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thatblackravenclaw · 2 years

Text

In Love With My Best Friend

Masterlist

author note: This will be the last peter parker fic I write. not that I don't love writing for him it's just that it doesn't get as many likes as my others do, so I think it's best I retire writing for this character.

Mcu!Peter Parker x fem!reader

word count: 1.5k

song: Best Friend -Jason Chen

warning(s): fluff, pining, best friends to lovers, does not follow the No Way Home timeline at all lmao

April 8, 2024

“Hey Benji.” I said while sitting next to him on the roof of the school.

“Hey, y/n/n.” He said. He sounded kind of down. Not a tone I’m used to hearing from him.

“You good?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

I think he forgets I can tell when he’s lying. He always averts his eyes and starts shaking his leg.

“Alright. I’m here whenever you want to talk about it, but for now we have to get to gym.”

I stand up and put out my hand so I can help him get up. I really only do it because he always keeps holding my hand after he gets up.

I wonder what it is he’s hiding. When we were ten I told him that I’d always be there, and I meant it. I didn’t know about my feelings back then, but I did know that he was my best friend and wanted to share everything with him and vice versa.

Now I realize you were the only one

It’s never too late to show it

October 15, 2024

Going to a completely different school than the one friend I have is torture. Don’t get me wrong, I was so happy that Peter got into M.I.T, but I got accepted into UCLA. Almost 3,000 miles away. You know the saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Well it did. My heart is so fond that it hurts.

We video chat whenever we can. It’s more of just him and Ned telling me about life at a nerd school, while I admire Pete. He looks so happy. I love the way he lights up when he tells me about his classes.

I wonder how he looks when he talks about me. I want to imagine that he lights up the same way. I wonder if he has the same feelings as me. Does he think about us growing old together like I do?

I fell in love with my best friend.

Through all the girls that came by

And all the nights that you cried

Boy I was there right by your side

January 3, 2024

I can’t believe Mj broke up with Peter on Christmas Eve Eve. He sounded absolutely crushed when I picked up the phone. When he told me, I stopped what I was doing, grabbed, my coat, and left my house. I pick up some cookies from Insomnia Cookies and continue driving to Pete’s apartment.

Shout out to Aunt May for leaving the spare key in the same spot. I open and close to door quietly. As I make my way to his room I hear him still sniffling. It breaks my heart to see him go through yet another heart break. I promised I would always there for him though.

When I open the door he looks up. I give him a sympathetic smile and show him the cookie container. I see him return a small smile and move over, so I can sit down on the bed with him.

He starts talking about how well he thought it was going with Mj and how she broke up with him. I was sort of listening, but sort of not. It just irritates me hearing her name, because I would have never treated him how she did, but how could I tell him I loved him when he was so happy with her? That would probably make me the world’s shittiest friend and I’d rather suffer in a pool of my own pity than have done that to him but seeing him like this makes me wonder what would have happened if I had told him I loved him.

February 14, 2024

Okay I could continue laying here staring at the ceiling OR I could call Pete and tell him how I feel. I mean it’s never too late to show it, right? I know it’s only been a month, but I feel like if I don’t do it any time soon I’ll lose my nerve and we’ll be just friends forever. There’s a possibility that we could grow old together.

He's calling me. I shouldn’t be surprised since we FaceTime around this time every weekend, but still.

When I answer he looks so much better today. He has a genuine smile. He’s happy. I hope he stays that way. It took weeks for him to finally be over Mj. Seeing him sad just felt wrong.

He starts talking to me about how his new classes are going. I take this time to admire him. I just want to reach through the screen and hug him. I need to be near him.

This feels like those coming of age movies where the person likes their best friend and their best friend is completely oblivious, but they end up together in the end. I wonder how our movie will end.

I know it sounds crazy

That you’d be my baby

Girl, you mean that much to me

Peter’s POV:

I wonder if she knows how beautiful she looks on video chat. She looks beautiful regardless but seeing her right now is actually giving me butterflies.

I never told her why Mj and I broke up and she never asked. I know she wanted to though. If I had told her why it probably would have come out wrong, because it was because of her. Mj knows how I feel about y/n and she decided that it was best that we separate. I did genuinely like Mj though. That’s why it hurt so bad when she dumped me. All within good reason though.

I know it sounds crazy that my best friend could be more than just that, my best friend, but it doesn’t hurt to wish and pray on it though. She means so much to me. I don’t wanna ruin what we have. It’s a risk I’m willing to take though.

I’m in love with my best friend.

She was in the middle of telling me a story about something funny that happened in her Biology class when one of her friends came in and grabbed her. I couldn’t really hear what they were saying, but it sounded like her friend really wanted her to come with her.

While she’s gone I stare at her empty spot on her bed. I need to see her. I need to tell her how I feel. In person. I leave my laptop and go to my closet to pack a duffle bag. Just a few jeans and some t-shirts.

“Pete, what are you doing?” I hear Ned ask me.

“Flying to California.”

“FLYING TO CALIFORNIA?!”

“Yup.” I say while rummaging through my things to find my essentials.

“You’re going to tell her aren’t you?”

“I have to. I don’t want it to be too late.”

I quickly look for the next flight out to Los Angeles. It’s not until 7 tonight, but I can wait in the airport for a few hours.

Once the plane lands, I start for the doors that lead out of the airport. I decided not to check my backpack in considering it was small enough to be considered a carry on and I didn’t feel like dealing with baggage claim.

Of course me, not paying attention to where I’m going, ended up bumping into somebody. I turn my head to apologize to the person and I realize it’s her.

“Oh my gosh, hey! What are you doing here?” I ask.

“Going to see you. What are you doing here?” She says with her eyebrows scrunched. That’s another cute thing I love about her. Whenever she’s confused her eyebrows scrunch and her nose crinkles a bit.

“Going to see you,” She says while letting out a breathy laugh.

“Me? Why?”

“I need to tell you something.”

“Me too! Can I tell you first? Only fair since my plane landed first.” I say while laughing a bit.

She nods her head and I decided to get serious.

“I’ve been in love with you. For a while now. I never told you because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I thought I was over it when I started liking Mj, but apparently I wasn’t which is why we broke up.”

“Me too.”

“Excuse me?” saying as it takes me a moment to process what she just said.

“God, Parker you ruin everything. First you make me fall in love with you and now you ruin my “I fell in love with my best friend” speech. Man, you’re lucky I like you.”

She takes a momentary pause before taking a deep breath and continuing.

“Remember when were ten and I said I’d always be there? I meant that. I’ve loved you for so long its embarrassing. I could never tell you, because as you mentioned, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. You mean the world to me Peter Parker. There’s no me without you. I love you.”

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, and I move forward to kiss her. Something I should’ve done a long time ago.

#mcu!peter x reader #marvel fluff #mcu fluff #mcu!peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfic #peter parker imagine #peter parker oneshot #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fluff #peter parker friends to lovers #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n

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aliceblisss · 2 years

Note

helloo!! can you write a steve rogers x reader fic where the reader (who has a crush on steve) accidentally walks in to sharon flirting w steve and then she walks away and cries when clint, bucky, wanda, nat and tony saw her and asks her why. they knew why short after, and reader goes for a walk outside the compound. steve searches for her eventually as the other avengers asks him to confess and solve the misunderstanding. steve found the reader at the big christmas tree in rockefeller center making a wish and he confesses to her there 🥺 im sorry if it’s too specific!

Hi!! Thank you so much for your request and thank you for being so patient! I changed up a few of the details I hope you don’t mind <33

CW: language lol

A/N: I really liked writing this one. Send me more Steve and overall MCU requests!! Also remember to reblog as it helps a lot! <3

——————————————————————————

The annual Christmas party is Tony and Pepper’s pride and joy.

It’s December 24th, Christmas Eve. A lot of us don’t have much family left to spend the holidays with, and those that do bring them along.

It’s the one night a year where we’re normal people. Everyone’s laughing, singing, dancing. Some drink a bit too much eggnog. But all in all it’s a fun, wholesome night.

“Did I ever tell you about the time I fought an army of five hundred men alone? Just me and Mjollnir” Thor sat beside me on the couch with probably his hundredth eggnog; to his and my surprise it appears to actually be kicking in a bit. In his defense Nat made it extra strong this year.

I sigh and smell the mix of eggnog and hot chocolate in my breath, “Yes Thor, you did. Like three times already and you keep adding people. The first time you told it was only two hundred men” I can’t help but laugh.

He furrows his brows and frowns, realizing I caught him, “No, I think you’re remembering it wrong”

I pat his knee, “Sure honey, whatever you say” with a smile.

Regardless of all that he begins to tell the story for a fourth time. Clint’s kids and Scott all listen to him in awe. Meanwhile I spot something across the room that made my heart sink.

I see Steve and Sharon laughing together, standing close to each other, being very touchy-feely. It made my stomach churn. But I was frozen in place, I couldn’t stop staring at them. Like that moment in a scary movie where you know something bad is about to happen but you can’t bring yourself to look away or close your eyes.

I know I shouldn’t really feel jealous. Steve and I are just friends. Obviously him and Sharon get along very well, she’s beautiful and clearly a better fit for him.

But I can’t help it. It makes me miserable. I’ve been in love for him for so long now I honestly wish it’d just go away at this point. Everything would be much simpler that way.

That way, I could just enjoy being his friend without my heart racing every time we touch or hold eye contact for longer than three seconds. I wouldn’t be over analyzing everything he says. I wouldn’t continuously get my hopes up thinking “maybe he does feel the same way”.

And then, just as that feeling of tears started to burn in my eyes, I noticed it; the mistletoe.

They were standing right below mistletoe. I started praying they wouldn’t notice but they did. Sharon looked up and smirked, Steve’s gaze followed. That’s it. Now’s the time to look away. I’m not gonna continue to torture myself here, much less with the sight of them kissing.

I got up abruptly and left the room, tears already streaming down my face. I went into another room and quickly closed the door behind me. Only to find Nat and Wanda in there.

They instantly got up with worry in their eyes. I could tell they were having a good time, talking and laughing. But it all disappeared off their faces in an instant when they saw me crying.

Immediately Nat walked up to me, holding my face up gently. “Hey hey, what’s wrong?” she asked.

But I just kept silently crying, ruining my makeup no doubt.

Natasha put her arm around me and led me to the couch where both her and Wanda sat with me and held me as I cried.

Wanda’s not the best at comforting, but I know she tries her best and I know she truly cares.

“Who do I have to hurt?” she said with a trace of her Sokovian accent that is more noticeable when she’s angry.

I manage to get the words out, “No one” in between sniffles.

“Then why are you crying?” she asked. I didn’t wanna say. It’s too embarrassing.

But Natasha took a good look at me and sighed, “I think I know”.

I turn to her, and she gives me a small smile and says, “Would this have anything to do with you liking Steve?”

My eyes widen. “How did you know?”

She raised an eyebrow at me, “I just do”

“You have feelings for Steve?” Wanda asked, genuinely surprised. I simply nod in response.

“Don’t worry, you’re fairly good at hiding it. It took me a while to figure out so I doubt anyone else knows. Especially him” Nat reassured me.

Wanda brought a tissue to me from across the room with her powers. I thanked her and cleaned up my face a bit.

“What happened though? Why are you crying then?” Wanda was still eager to know.

I took deep breaths to calm myself before recalling the memory. “It’s him and Sharon. I’ve seen how they are together, and just now they were all flirty n’ shit. And they were under mistletoe; I saw they were about to kiss”.

“Did you actually see them kiss?” It was Natasha who asked this time.

I shook my head, “I left before I could witness it”.

Nat kept rubbing my back while Wanda let me rest my head on her shoulder. I was still crying.

“Y/n there’s—” Nat started to speak but before she could continue Steve walked in.

“There you are” he said with a smile while looking at me. His face dropped when he saw the state I was in.

“What’s wrong?” he hurried towards me with worry in his eyes. I can’t face him right now, it’s too much.

I quickly get up and walk past him as I mumble a quick “Nothing” and leave the room. On my way out of the compound I grab my coat and I get in the elevator. Just as the doors were closing I saw Steve trying to catch up with me.

Once I’m out I put my espionage skills to use; right now I wanna be left alone. I decide to head for the big Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center thinking that’ll cheer me up a bit.

The loud sounds and all the sounds of the city start to overwhelm me but I just think that once I get to the tree I’ll be fine.

I arrive at the giant tree and stand in front of it feeling tiny in comparison. It was raining earlier so the water droplets make the lights look extra twinkly. It’s very cold, I shiver and fold my arms tightly regretting not bringing more than just my coat.

Despite there being so much commotion around me when I focus on the tree it all kinda fades away. So much so that I almost didn’t notice Steve standing at my side. I look at him through the corner of my eye; he’s also staring at the tree.

After a few seconds in silence he turns to me and says, “I figured you’d be cold”. When I turn to him I see he has my fuzzy hat and scarf. I can’t help but smile at the gesture, he give me a small smile too.

He then puts the hat on my head and wraps the scarf around my neck. I can feel myself blush but hopefully my cheeks were already red from the cold and he won’t notice. He smiles at me with gentle eyes but I force myself to look away, to focus on the tree. Because if I don’t I’ll drown in his eyes.

We both stand in silence staring at the tree. Our silences aren’t usually uncomfortable. But I know that he knows. So I’m silently freaking out on the inside.

“I tried to count all the lights once” I break the silence and my internal panic.

He snorts, “Of course you did. How far did you get?”

“Two-hundred and seventy-seven” I mumble, slightly embarrassed. Although I’d rather this embarrassment than the alternative.

“Wow, that’s determination” he said, genuinely impressed.

I held back a smirk, “Yeah, I looked at the tree dead in the eyes and said, “I could do this all day””.

We both started laughing. It’s nice to know we can laugh together no matter the circumstance. Even if he probably already knows I’m madly in love with him.

“Fuck off,” he said in between the laughter. I giggled in response.

After the laughter died down it was back to silence. Until…

“I know, y/n, I know why you were upset” Steve said.

My heart sank again, I was filled with fear. Fear of the inevitable rejection. “It’s—I’m sorry I—I’ll get over it” I fumbled over my words not know exactly what to say. But I was bracing myself for the worst.

He turned to me and took my hand of my pocket; mine were cold but his were warm. “What are you apologizing for?”. I saw the confusion in his expression. But also a tinge of pain which I couldn’t decipher. Did he feel sorry for me?

I sigh, I can see my breath in front of me, “For falling in love with you” I say feeling defeated at this point.

He takes both my hands now and holds them tightly as he says, “Do you feel sorry for how you feel about me? Because I don’t”

Now it’s my turn to be confused. “What?” my voice is small and frail.

“I am in love with you, y/n. I’m crazy about you. And I’m an idiot for not telling you sooner” he confessed.

I felt my heart thumping faster in my chest. Is this real?

“You are?” I asked, he nodded with a smile, “You are” I laughed nervously, and he laughed with me.

But then I remembered, “But wait, what about Sharon?”

“Sharon is a good friend, nothing more” he reassured.

“And the mistletoe?”

He let go of one of my hands and got something out of his pocket with a mischievous grin on his face. “You mean this mistletoe?” he raised his arm and dangled it above us while pulling me closer to him.

“I never kissed her. The only person I ever wanna kiss, is you” he said while looking back and forth from my eyes to my lips.

“Pepper’s gonna be mad you took the mistletoe” I tease.

He pulls me even closer and says, “She’ll get over it” and kissed me deeply.

I nearly melted in his arms. He dropped the arm that was holding the mistletoe and put it around my waist along with the other one. I threw my arms around his neck; holding on for dear life.

It was warm and soft, yet desperate in the sense that neither of us wanted to let go. When out lips finally separate he leans his forehead on mine, keeping his eyes closed. We start to giggle like little kids.

Suddenly we hear cheering, hooting and clapping. It’s Natasha, Wanda, Thor, and Scott.

We were embarrassed but couldn’t help but laugh.

“ABOUT DAMN TIME!” yelled out Nat.

“IM SO JEALOUS OF YOU Y/N” Scott yelled which made all of us burst into laughter.

“I guess I am pretty lucky huh?” I said to Steve.

He caressed my cheek with his thumb, “I’m the lucky one”.

#ab requests #mcu #steve rogers request #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fluff

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