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autisticempathydaemon · 9 months

Note

For the Redacted match-up! ^_^

A song I’m currently fixated on: “the lakes” by Taylor Swift. The whole song is just so beautiful and wistful. 😭 And something about the melody of these lyrics just hits so right.

Specific lyrics: “I want auroras and sad prose/I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet/Cause I haven’t moved in years/And I want you right here”

Enneagram type: 6w7. (And just for fun, I’m an ISFP as well)

YouTube essays: I don’t think I can focus my attention on a video for that long, tbh. It’s the same reason I can rarely get through movies in one siting. 😂

Imaginary childhood friend: I think her name was Amy? Don’t remember much else, though.

Falling asleep: I always sleep with my fan on, no matter the weather. I have to have the white noise, otherwise it’s just too damn quiet in my room. Usually I’m propped up by two pillows, cuddling one of my stuffed animals or something. If find that I can’t sleep, or just want something to fall asleep to, I’ll put on one of Redacted’s sleep-aids.

Name change: Cheesy as it sounds, if I didn’t have my current name, I’d love to be named Juliet. It just has such Main Character Energy™️ (and I mean that in a good way) and is freakin’ romantic as hell to me. (And yes, I’m aware that the play is a tragedy, not a romance. 😂)

Favorite Redacted audio: If I had to pick one, I think “Serenity Daemon Helps You Relax and Sleep”. That video is just so freaking comforting and sweet, and it’s knocked me out more times than I can count.

Redacted boi with no appeal: Regulus. Yanderes just aren’t my thing, and he legit scares me. 😅

Book/Movie/TV show you could quote entirely: I’ve watched The Breakfast Club so many times, I could quote it forwards, backwards, and sideways.

Redacted BFF: Elliott. Take away the “Lovers” aspect of his relationship with Sunshine, but keep all the playfulness, teasing, and banter that they have together, and I’d be perfectly happy. 😊

(It’s also a really perfect coincidence that Eli’s said he’s the “Protector” type, and I just so happen to like being protected. XD)

Go-to tired ramble: Most of the time when my any of my friends and I would have a sleepover and it was late at night, we’d just get really deep and start talking about life.

Go-to gas station combo: I try to avoid gas stations when I can, just because I hate the smell of gasoline. But I’d probably get a plain Hershey bar and a bottle of water. (I know, I’m boring. 😂)

Favorite playlist: Do you mean Redacted, or just in general? Because the answer depends.

For a general answer, Jacksepticeye’s play through of Night In The Woods. That game is honestly such a comfort one for me, and I can watch that playlist a million times over and never get tired of it.

In terms of Redacted, Ollie’s. If there’s angst abound on the channel, or I’ve just had a bad day at work or something, I can run to his playlist and feel like I’m getting a big, warm, metaphorical hug. 🥰

Guilty Pleasure: I still read, and love, young adult novels. I don’t care that they’re “predictable”, and that I’m “too old to be reading them”. You can pry those fluffy, romantic, cheesy-ass books from my cold dead hands. 😆

Anything else about me:

I seriously think I’m the biggest Swiftie I know. When I say I’m obsessed with her music, I am not kidding. 😂

I’m a huge musical nerd. And coupled with that, I love, love, love to sing. (Provided I know that no one’s listening, anyway.)

I’m a total introvert, and am pretty shy/quiet in general, unless I’m around my friends.

My love languages are quality time and physical touch.

I maaaaay or may not have a slight candle obsession. (Bath and Body Works ones, specifically.) Seriously, I have like, four unburned 3-wick candles sitting on my dresser, and I’m convinced I just like to collect/look at them as opposed to actually lighting the things. 😂

I’m a cat person through and through

This one’s random, but I felt like adding it anyway. I basically live in one beat up pair of combat boots. There are not a lot of shoes in my closet.

I have this thing where I either tear through a TV series in like, a few days, or I don’t touch it for months. The same with books. I don’t know why I do that. 😂

My favorite colors are blue and purple 💙💜

Well, if you’re a cat kind of guy (gn), you know that’s gonna make things easy for me! Though it might not be the boy you think, because I’ve got a case to make for you and Milo Greer.

What I really like about y’all is how the things y’all like (other than cats) contrast and how cute that contrast is. Like, I don’t think Milo’s a Swiftie but man shows up and shows out to take you to her Eras tour. The Breakfast Club isn’t his favorite movie, but he’s seen it with Marie; he’ll say the iconic lines with you when y’all watch it for the hundredth time. He doesn’t really love musicals but he can hum along to Alexander Hamilton with the best of them because that’s an ensemble piece and you need a backup singer.

Milo’s just a really great boyfriend who shows love with a combination of Quality Time and Acts of Service with little sprinkles of Gifts. It’s not just time spent with you, it’s time spent engaging in the things that interest you and make you happy. It’s the time thinking of you when you’re apart and bringing home fun, new candles he saw at the store. Although he is definitely not opposed to physical touch- y’all have a lot of cuddle nights, just you and him and Aggro.

Song:

However big, however small/ Let me be part of it all/ Share your dreams with me/ You may be right, you may be wrong/ But say that you'll bring me along/ To the world you see/ To the world I close my eyes to see

Now, I said Milo’s not really a musical man. You know what he is? A bisexual king with good taste, which means he loves you and a good Hugh Jackman flick especially since Zac Efron is involved. So I think he’s a big fan of The Greatest Showman and of singing the addictive, earworm-y songs with you. A Million Dreams is the sentimental choice, but y’all go fuckin hard to This is Me.

Runner-Ups:

Guy is absolutely a Swiftie and a musical theater kid, okay? Erik hasn’t confirmed it, but I know it in my spleen to be true, so he’s a fantastic runner-up for that reason. Vincent is a runner-up because he adores but despises that you stick to one pair of torn-up shoes and constantly showers you in luxury footwear. I think that’s cute.

note: I understand you completely candles are not just scent pieces they are decor

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #busybee matches

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cosmicwitchcourtney · 1 year

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Sorry I’m obsessed with dreams. I want to type out this fucked up sleep paralysis/dream/who the fuck knows maybe I was abducted(?) from like around 2014/15.

Background info: I was dating J and he started work a schedule that was 3am-12pm. So, I was alone for the first time at our new apartment when it was dark. I would get freaked out since childhood about night time (bc strange happenings in my home).

ok the dream:

I woke up and went to the bathroom. The window is facing the driveway. I’m looking out and see that J hasn’t left for work yet. I’m staring into the car and his face starts morphing all scary. I wake up. I go to the bathroom, and look out the window. His car is running this time. I’m looking out really hard, and this time there’s a blue light and unsettling feeling. I get freaked out and wake up. (Note: not actually waking. Waking into dream). I repeat this a few times. Every time I look out the window, there’s more blue light. I get freaked out, wake up. I go to the kitchen, which also has a window out to the driveway. This time blue light is shining into the window and I’m like…. Uhh this isn’t normal. It wakes me up. I wake up with this sense that someone is in the apartment. I’m doing the thing I did as a kid now where I’m hiding under my blanket hoping they don’t see me, even though that’s obvi the first place someone would look if they’re looking for people lol. I hear movement in the kitchen, get freaked out again, wake up.

This time, I wake up tangled all crazy in my comforter. I’m so tangled that I am flailing around and fall on the floor, trapped in my blanket. My body bends and bends unnaturally at my back, backwards, curling around. I wake up. I’m still in bed, this time on top of my comforter. My body starts lifting from the center, abdomen area. It lifts up to the ceiling and I’m literally dangling like a rag doll being picked up by their stomach.

The final time I wake up, I’m back under my comforter “hiding”. The blue light is shining in my room. I have a sense someone is here, and this is it. I had left a little crack in my blanket to breathe fresh air and peek out of. I don’t see anything but blue light. My heart starts going wild. I literally feel like I am having a heart attack and dying. I’m not ready to die, but I accept this in the moment. I’m telling myself, it’s okay, you did your best, this is it, we’re going to find out what happens next. Legit made peace with death and now I’m not so afraid to die, bc that night I really truly felt what it was like. Peaceful.

anyway, when I finally finally ACTUALLY awoke, it was around 5am and I had to work at 6am at the bakery. I felt FUCKED dude my body felt weird and my chest/heart was super not okay. I truly felt like I had a heart attack, like to this day have never felt this again or prior. It was like my heart was different. It was beating off, it was skipping, my whole body felt weird. I told Rhonda about waking up in the middle of the night feeling like I had an actual heart attack. So she convinced me to go to the doctors. I left work for this, go and visit an old man doc (I have a thing against these idiots now, but back then didn’t know any better). This old man barely listened to me, told me I just had anxiety. Look bro,, k I have anxiety and had anxiety prior, I know what it feels like. Again, I’ve never felt that heart feeling :/ I was actually really afraid bc both my parents have heart problems. But this doc was basically like “haha that’s anxiety silly!” And sent me on my way.

To this day I’ve never had dreams like that and before that I never had… now and then I do get very minor sleep paralysis. I wasn’t on medications or doing anything besides smoking weed, which actually helps me zonk out/not have dreams. I would love to meet a psychic or someone who can tell me if that was actually something strange or confirm it was just a wild af dream.

#Personal #dreamjournal #sleep paralysis #alien abduction

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akaashioppa · 3 years

Text

Forever Will Never Be The Same

pairings: oikawa x reader

summary: The reader finally confronts her husband Oikawa after cheating allegations in the male locker room. angst!!!

warnings: curse words, mentions of the reader having a son with Oikawa, confronting of cheating.

w/c: 1736

A/N: first time writing for Oikawa :)

Haikyuu Masterlist Masterlist

“Everyone get out now!”

Your voice echoed off the metal lockers of the locker room. Eyes widened as you made your way into the changing room, not because of the fact that a girl was entering the male’s locker room. It was the fact that Oikawa (Y/N) was coming to kick her husband’s ass. Just as every man passed you to flee, their musky scent filled your nose making you cringe.

After the final whistle of the game, people were scavenging to take pictures with Oikawa Toru except you. Each morning that you woke your husband up he would give you one of those cheeky grins that he was giving the fans right now, the stupid grin was fake. Laughter, jokes, and cries filled your ears, for what reason? The Great King made his grand entrance back to the court, winning both sets with the help of Iwaizumi. The Great King himself showered his fans with love and pictures while you stood from afar, anger flowing through your veins. Knowing the Poker Face King for ten years and having been married to him for two, it was easy to mimic the grin. As girls would pass by screaming about the pictures they took with him you would shoot them that famous grin.

You timed each moment perfectly, celebrating the win, pictures with fans, interviews with the sports commentators, more fan interaction and now he hits the locker room for a shower. Luckily for you, he was beginning to take his sweaty jersey off, beads of sweat from the previous game were still prominent.

“What are you doing here?” The look on his face was one of a kind, it was a mixture of panic and anger. Nothing to be afraid of, it’s not like he didn’t give you the same look when you caught him at the bar with another woman. Or the time you were driving down the road with his phone constantly going off, every other minute he’d get notifications, this would go on for hours.

The yelling of the men from the locker room made you come back to reality. Have they not seen a woman before or was it because you were standing there looking at their dick prints? A white tint cast over their knuckles from how hard they were holding their towels around their waist. ‘What a sight to see

“You can either tell me the truth or you can tell me the truth there’s no in-between.” You barked at Oikawa, men were still scattering out of the locker room. You barely gave them time to leave before you bombarded your husband with your question.

The panic on his face was quite entertaining, he moved in front of you so you couldn’t see his half-naked teammates running out of the locker room.“What are you talking about!?”

“When were you going to tell me that you went to a nightclub with Iwaizumi!? He told me everything so I’m giving you the chance to come clean about it!”

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you were going to be mad.”

“Did you sleep with her?” You got straight to the point, there was no need for you to sit here and procrastinate any longer. This has been on your mind ever since you got those three attachments from Iwaizumi.

“No” He scoffed, “Why would I sleep with her? I have too much respect for you to sleep with her.”

“Oh really, the way you were holding her waist makes me think differently. The way you kissed her neck makes me want to snap yours!” You held up a photo on your phone with him and another girl at the nightclub. His head was in her neck, you could see that he was kissing on it, his arms were wrapped around her waist but his hands were dangerously low.“Respect? Do you even know the definition of respect because if you did you wouldn’t have me out here looking stupid!”

He sat down on the bench of the locker room, his arms were tightly around his chest. Oikawa was already over this conversation, this wasn’t the first time you blew up in the face about this. Nor the second, he respected you in a weird way. He never laid hands on you, or even yelled at you but he couldn’t keep his hands off other women.

“How do I make you look stupid!? I give you everything you want!”

“Everything but love.” You yelled desperately, the thing about arguing with him about these situations was that he’d always claim that he knew what you wanted. He’d always try to bring light on the situation when he clearly fucked up. He was a great husband, you guys had been dating since high school. Since he got the fame and money things turned upside down, he became a legit monster.

“I show love to you every day, I make love to you every week!” His voice rose an octave, his hand was flying all over the place when he spoke.

You were appalled, sickened, offended, that he could say something like that. It hurts to know that he thinks this way, it almost makes you feel worthless. Does he really consider having sex as love? “That’s not loving Toru, that's lust.”

He sighed, his hands were on his knees, he got up to finish packing up his things. “Well, I’m over it. I don’t want you here anymore. Leave”

“How can you give up so easily on us.” You forced his hands away from his bag, he looked at you with a confused face. You poked him hard in his chest slowly provoking him, “I forgave you so many times after you treated me like trash. All the times you cheated and came home with women’s numbers falling out of your pockets. Many sleepless nights just to make sure that your knee would stop bothering you. I wake up every morning to make you your special breakfast so you can be game ready and yet I haven’t given up on you.”

“I’m just tired of arguing with you. All you do is complain about my lifestyle. If you can’t keep up then we shouldn’t be together. How can I keep consoling you after you get all jealous about me hanging out with fans or me taking pictures with my fans? It’s just toxic (Y/N).” He spat back, he didn’t seem angered. It was more of an annoyed look.

“Because you only hang out with female fans, it’s fine and all but when they’re posting sexual pictures with you, it’s a different story. I scroll down my feed to see you with more women than see pictures of us together. It’s like I don’t exist”

“Whatever (Y/N) I need to get ready for the after-party.”

“What about us? How are we going to fix this?”

“There is no us!” He screamed, his voice echoed off the lockers. He placed his hands on his hips trying to compose himself. “It’s only you and Torio. And me, Torio and volleyball! There is no us, not anymore and that’s it!”

You took a step back, each word was like a dagger in your heart. He would often bring your son into the matter. Ever since your son was born you’ve always felt like you and Oikawa had grown apart. It was like you were forcing yourself to stay for Torio’s sake. There would be days where things were good, on those days you and Oikawa wouldn’t argue. However, when days like this occur he’d make you hurt, you’d always end up questioning your ability of loving. Deep down you felt like you guys were drifting apart but you didn’t want to admit it. It was too painful, Oikawa would have been left if it weren’t for Torio. He wanted his fans and the sports media to look at him as a family man.

“Why is it so hard to ask someone to love me!?” Your breaking point had finally come, you held your hands over your mouth to stop the loud sobs. It was hard to know that your husband and high school sweetheart didn’t want you. You gave up everything to support him with his dreams, family, friends, work, school, and even your fucking sanity and yet she still treats you this way.

He stood there watching you beat yourself down, he didn’t do anything but place a hand on your shoulder. You shrugged it off, the last thing you wanted was for him to touch you. “Listen I loved you back in high school but now high school is over. You’re still basing this love off of that and I’m not here for it. All these insecurities you have are a bit annoying in my defense. Maybe this relationship would work if you grew the fuck up.”

“You can’t give up on us now. We need each other. Torio needs his dad. ” Lie, you needed him. Yes, Torio needed his dad but you needed your husband. It was crazy to think that you would go back to him but it was just your toxic ways. You never loved anyone but him, he was all that you had. Your life that you lived was based upon him.

“Look, we can talk about this later if you want, but right now I have thousands of fans waiting for me to show my face. You can either suck it up and go out there with me or you can hit the back doors and go home.”

“Toru…”

“What do you want?” He groaned, he turned back around with an annoyed face. He was fed up with you and even the situation. You knew he wanted you gone, he was waiting for the minute you’d leave so he could go and party.

Obviously an answer, he was too consumed with himself to even realize that. It was the reason why you came in here yelling at his teammates to leave, you wanted to ask him a question in private. The thought of getting your feelings hurt in front of everyone was not ideal.

“I just asked a simple question. Did you sleep with her?”

You looked up at him for the first him, your vision was blurry but you could see him well enough to see that stupid smirk.“What do you think?”

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undercoveravenger · 3 years

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Closing Cases

Written for my 2021 Halloween event

Pairing: EJ Caswell x Male!Detective!Reader

Prompt: EJ with a Nancy Drew/Scooby gang reader investigating something haunting the school and EJ steps up to help. With “I am running on two hours of sleep and fifty tiny candy bars” and “Can we go five minutes without talking about ghosts, ghouls, or goblins?”

A/N: This is prompt # 2 for my Halloween event! The next prompt will be posted Thursday, October 7th.

-------

East High was being faced by an unexplainable problem. Each night, lockers were being broken into and various class and club rooms had been found vandalized. The faculty had examined the footage from all of the security cameras near the areas that had been attacked, but weren’t able to see anyone in the videos; only that the halls looked normal in one frame, and had been trashed in the next.

As someone who had spent his entire childhood looking up to all of the great detectives, you took it upon yourself to get to the bottom of the situation. You had told Miss Jen, the theater teacher, that you’d be missing rehearsals one afternoon in order to conduct your investigation, but she had been the only person you told.

You supposed that was why it came as such a shock to find EJ Caswell, a popular senior and star of the water polo team and drama department, leaning against the locker beside yours after school.

You disregarded his presence, moving to open your locker and tuck away your textbooks.

“So I hear you’re not going to be at rehearsals today,” EJ said after a moment, turning to face you. “Care to share why?”

“I’ve got more important things to do,” you said easily. You knew it was kind of a weak response, but it was the first thing that’d come to mind.

He rolled his eyes, lips quirking up into a grin. “Yeah, we both do, I guess.”

That gave you pause. You turned to look at him incredulously, and you had to force yourself to ignore the way the amused glint in his pretty blue eyes threatened to make you smile. “Excuse me?”

“You’re investigating the break-ins, right?” EJ asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched you.

“I’m not convinced that they have been break-ins, but yes,” you said, grabbing a different backpack entirely out of your locker and leaving the one with your school supplies in it before shutting the door. “Is there a reason you’re talking to me?” You turned away at that, making your way down the quickly emptying halls.

EJ scrambled to keep pace with you, weaving around the remaining students and faculty to stay at your side. “I want to help! I’ll be the first to say I don’t really have experience with investigations, but I want to help stop what’s going on.”

You let out a sigh, turning abruptly to face EJ. “Fine. You can help,” you held up a hand to interrupt him when he made to let out a victorious whoop, “But if you get in the way of my investigation, I will tell you to leave and you will listen. Do we have a deal?”

The brunet nodded vigorously, falling back into step beside you as you resumed your previous path, “Deal. So,” he said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. “Where do we start?”

“Here,” you said as you came to a stop outside of a janitor’s closet on the second floor.

EJ’s brows furrowed in obvious confusion. “Our investigation starts at the janitor’s closet?”

You nodded, twisting the door open and entering the small room. You sat down, nestling your way between a set of shelves and several empty garbage cans. “Well, this is where we’ll be waiting until the time is right.”

“And when is that?” he asked as he crept into the closet with you, wincing as the door slammed closed behind him.

You snickered, pulling out your phone to set an alarm. “Well, the thief only strikes at night, right? They’ll probably emerge at around nine o’clock, which means we have,” you glanced back at your phone, “About five hours to kill.”

“Five hours?” EJ asked incredulously, blue eyes wide as he looked at you. “What the hell are we going to do for five hours?!”

“Well, I was going to play games on my phone since I wasn’t planning on having company until a few minutes ago,” you said, glancing pointedly down at the device. “You’re still more than welcome to leave, if you don’t want to wait?”

EJ shook his head stubbornly, shifting to sit with his back against the opposite wall from you. “No, but my phone definitely isn’t going to hold up for that long.” He paused, thinking, “Maybe we could play twenty questions while we wait?”

You shrugged, figuring that humoring a cute boy wouldn’t kill you. “Alright, sure. But since it was your idea, you have to go first.”

He smiled widely, clearly delighted that you’d agreed. “Okay!” He hesitated for a moment while he thought, but a question seemed to strike him pretty quickly. “So, do you make it a point to hang out in sketchy janitor’s closets often?”

You barely managed to bite back a snicker, but the upward tilt of EJ’s lips made you suspect that he knew about your poorly concealed amusement. “I do when my cases require it,” you said by means of explanation, but you found yourself elaborating further at the confused-puppy expression on his face. “Today’s a Tuesday, which means that the cleaning staff isn’t in tonight, so no one will be checking this closet for stragglers like they would the library or a classroom. Waiting in here means that I’ll be able to remain in the building after the doors are locked, which means that I’ll be able to find out if anyone else comes into the building after it’s locked down for the night.”

“Wow,” EJ said, eyes wide as he processed everything you’d just said. “You put a lot more planning into this than I would’ve thought?”

“What, you thought I’d just wing it?” you teased. You had to admit, you were enjoying his company far more than you had anticipated. “I like to think that I take my job pretty seriously.”

He gestured wildly with his hands, like he was trying to wave away his previous words. “No, no, no; that’s not what I meant- I meant that-” He cut himself off as he noticed you beginning to laugh, “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?” He faked offense, but the appearance of his dimples gave away his amusement. “Fine, you got me.” His grin widened as he looked at you, “Alright, Mr. Holmes, what’s your leading theory?”

You let out a thoughtful hum, “Currently? Vengeful spirits.”

EJ let out a surprised laugh. It was deep, uncontrollable and infectious, and you were helpless to hide the grin it brought to your face, though it faded after a moment, “You’re serious?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure what else to think,” you started softly, fingers twisting nervously in your lap as you were forced to admit that, for once, you really weren’t sure about what the outcome of your case would be. “Any normal person would have been caught on camera, and the only people in this city that have the ability to manipulate the footage to make it look like no one was there either wouldn’t care enough to do it or they’ve got an alibi.”

EJ’s brows furrowed, “And none of them could have lied about the alibis?”

“Mr. Mazzara could’ve, I suppose,” you mused, “But I double-checked it with Miss Jenn and it sounds legit.”

“So ghosts then, huh?” he prompted, scooting a little closer to you until his knees brushed lightly against yours. “Seems like a little bit of a leap in logic.”

You shrugged helplessly, a tired grin forming on your lips, “I am running on two hours of sleep and fifty tiny candy bars. Ghosts weren’t the least probable option, if I’m being honest.”

“How would you even get rid of a ghost-” He stopped as the rest of your statement caught up to him, “Wait, you’ve had fifty candy bars?!”

“Just the little ones.” You said, waving off his concern and checking the time on your phone. “Depends on the type of spirit, but I’ve talked to some sophomores who practice witchcraft and they say that sage and pure intention to banish it should take care of whatever we’re seeing, as long as it’s a normal ghost or spirit. I just want to eliminate any other options before I take action.”

“Can we go five minutes without talking about ghosts, ghouls, or goblins?” EJ demanded, taking your phone from you and setting it aside so he could get you to focus on him, “You’ve gotta take better care of yourself,” he said quietly, normally bright eyes turned stormy with concern, “You’ve got a lot of people that care about you-”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, “Like who?” At his stunned silence, you pressed on, “Everyone at this school thinks I’m a weirdo. You don’t think I’ve heard people call me Scooby-Doo or Nancy Drew or Sherlock?” You shook your head, pushing yourself to your feet as your frustration mounted, “This was a mistake. I’m leaving; I’ll solve this case on my own.”

“Wait,” EJ exclaimed, shooting up to his feet and grabbing your wrist to stop you from going. “You’re wrong.”

“I’m wrong?” you asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow as you looked up at EJ. “About what part?”

He nodded seriously, eyes locked with yours, “About no one caring about you and about everyone thinking you’re weird.” He took a deep breath, and, for the first time since he’d joined your investigation, you watched his confident facade falter. “I care about you,” he started softly, like he was afraid to finally say it. “And I really like that you’re so passionate about solving mysteries.”

Your brows furrowed as you turned to look back at him, “You… like that?”

“I like you,” he said, so quiet that he was barely audible, but when you didn’t pull away he continued, volume picking up as he did so, “I really like you and I can’t believe I get to help you do something I love, and that probably sounds pretty dumb since we don’t really know each other that well, but I would really like to get to know you better and maybe even take you out to dinner sometime if that’s okay with you?”

It took you a long moment to find your voice again. “Okay,” you found yourself saying as you tugged your wrist from his grip to link your fingers with his instead. “Okay,” A wide smile spread across EJ’s face and you could feel an answering one as it tugged at your lips, “When we close this case, I’ll let you take me on a date.”

“Really?” he asked, like he almost expected you to tell him it was some cruel joke. He let out a breathless laugh when you nodded, “Then what are we waiting for?” he asked joyfully, tugging you towards the door by your joined hands. “We’ve got a case to solve!”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you were led out into the long-abandoned halls of East High, glad to have finally found someone who matched you. After all, all the greats came in pairs; Daphne had Fred, Sherlock had Watson, and now you had EJ.

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anna-justice · 3 years

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like i’m gonna lose you

summary: my take on the fall out of 8x16.

read on a03

...

“Get your hands off of me”

Hailey stirred in her chair, her grip on Jay’s hand tightening a bit. They couldn’t bring themselves to care about appearances as they sat in the waiting room of MED, anxiously awaiting news on Kim. Hailey had dozed off on Jay’s shoulder pretty quickly, not that he minded. He was sure she had had a rough few hours, despite her vague responses.

“You knew exactly what to expect when you came here.”

There was a soft moan from beside him and Jay looked down to find his girlfriend’s eyebrows laced together. Her knee shook slightly, grabbing his attention. “Hailey?” He whispered, earning no response.

“This is what it feels like.”

Hailey flinched hard in her sleep, her bottom lip beginning to quiver, Jay’s heart dropped into his stomach. She was having a nightmare. He shifted slightly, bringing his free hand to her hair and tightening his grip on her hand. “I’m here Hailes, come back to me.” He said softly in her ear as he ran his fingers through her hair.

The movement startled her, causing her to flinch again. “I saw.” She muttered - still asleep - a stray tear falling down her cheek, “I saw-” Before Jay could react, she shot up, grabbing the attention of too many people around her.

Jay’s hand immediately found her shoulder, “Hey, you’re good. It was just a dream, you’re safe.” He took note of the half nod she gave him, the fake smile, the way her blue eyes were clouded with tears. Hailey looked down at their intertwined hands, pulling hers close to her body. “Hailey?” He asked, a little hurt.

She looked like she had seen a ghost, and honestly, she felt like she had. The only way to describe the feeling in the pit of her stomach was absolute terror: she was scared that Voight would walk through the sliding glass doors, she was scared of what she had become, she was scared of what Jay would think of her. She was absolutely terrified of the shell of a person he would leave behind when he finally came to his senses and walked away. “I-uh-I,” She stuttered, standing slowly, “I need some air.” She barely got the words out before running out of the building.

Jay stood to follow her, he had always been good at giving her space, letting her handle things on her own first, but this was killing him. She was spiraling, he could see it. She had spotted it in him so many times before. He was sick of standing on the sidelines while she fought alone but she wouldn’t let him in, not this time. And as much as he wanted to be her husband, he knew the proposal was only a product of whatever the hell had happened, he just never got the chance to ask what that was.

“I don’t want to be without you.” Hailey said, her sad eyes locked on his. He knew (or at least he thought he knew) what she was getting at. He remembered the way he felt when she was kidnapped, he remembers the panic that set in on her face when he was shot.

Jay felt the tears forming in his own, squinting a bit. It almost wrecked him to see her like this, so scared of losing what they had. He understood, he felt the exact same way, but it was different. He knew that no one else had ever stayed for her, no one else every cared, and he was determined to be the one that did. “You’re not gonna be.” He said, because how the was he supposed to say everything that he tried to push into those 4 little words? How could he make her believe that she was it for him?

Hailey searched his face for any sign of regret or inconsistency, but she found none. Somehow though, she still wasn’t one hundred perfect sure. She couldn’t bear to lose him, she wouldn’t survive it. How could she ever feel secure when she had so much to lose? The second the thought crossed her mind, the words tumbled from between her lips, shocking her as much as him. “Maybe we should get married.”

Jay looked at her blankly, obviously in shock. She could see it all over his face, he couldn’t believe what she was saying, she couldn’t either. “I’m serious, let’s get married.”

In a split second, Jay saw it all. The life they would have: the white wedding, the lazy saturdays, the holidays, the kids, the house, the dog, the years they would spend growing old together, the family trips to the cabin. He saw it all, and it was in reach. He never believed that he would could have any of it, but with Hailey, he wanted everything. He would marry her tomorrow, but not like this. Not when the love of his life was standing in front of him so broken down that the only way she thought she could keep him was through a meaningless certificate.

Hailey watched his smile fade, causing the panic to set in. “Jay, we can elope. We don’t have to wait. We can fly to Mexico or Hawaii or anywhere. Hell let’s do it here, I just want to be with you-”

“Hailey, breathe.” He said delicately, placing his hand on her cheek to keep her grounded. He leaned in, kissing her gently before pulling away to look her in the eyes, which were focused on anything but his. “Look at me, please.” She did - reluctantly - taking a deep breath when she realized his soft smile had reappeared. “I love you. And I will love you for the rest of my life. Nothing is going to change that. All I want to do is be with you, please believe me.”

Hailey shook her head, tears beginning to fall. “I love you so much-”

“Baby, tell me what’s going on. I want to help. Let me help you.” He was practically begging her.

She shook her head again, “Jay,” She gasped, “I can’t. Not until you say yes. I need you-”

Suddenly, his phone began to ring. If it was any other day, he would ignore it, but today was not any other day. “It’s Kev.”

Jay talked quietly on the phone for a minute or two. Hailey took the time to compose herself, to prepare for the worst: the end of her relationship. By the time Jay turned back around the light in her eyes was gone and there was a fake smile on her face, one that only he could see through. “Is she okay?” Hailey asked.

“Uh yeah, he just wants us to come so that he can go switch with Adam.” Hailey nodded, grabbing her phone off the table along with her keys. He cautiously followed her to the door. “We’re gonna be okay Hailes, no matter what.” He said, knowing full and well that this conversation was far from over.

Hailey nodded, “I know.” The left the apartment, and Hailey did her best to ignore the feeling of dread deep in her chest, but it was inescapable. No one could walk away clean from she had done, not her, not even Voight.

Hailey leaned against the wall outside of MED, trying to catch her breath. Her heart was racing and her eyes were burning, she clenched them shut to dull the ache, but every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was a gun pointed in her face.

“Just because your stomach can’t handle it.”

Hailey gagged, doubling over and leaning against the concrete wall.

“Cause you’re scared.”

She emptied the content of her stomach into the grass, choking and coughing violently as tears continued to stream down her face. Her vision clouded again, images of Voight’s face splattered with blood as he approached her running through her head. It felt so familiar.

Maybe it was her father’s reappearance in her life, but she felt like she was a child again. Hiding behind the couch or in her room, him screaming at her and her brothers as they ran scared. Her past was taunting her, like it was trying to prove to her that she would never be rid of it. That history would always repeat itself.

Jay followed her, watching from the doorway as she threw up. He rushed to her, “Hailey-” His hand touched her shoulder and she gasped, pulling away quickly and facing him, her arms shielding her face. Jay took a step back, caught off guard by the terror clearly shown on her face. She was frozen, panting hard.

“I-I’m sorry-I,” She said softly, slowly bringing her hands down to her sides. Jay watched as her gaze fell to the ground, his heart dropping into his stomach. He took a cautious step forward. “I’m not, I’m not afraid of you, I-”

Jay’s expression softened, “I know, I know. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He was hurt, sure, but this wasn’t about him. It was so much bigger than him.

Hailey wasn’t sure what emotion was more overwhelming: the fear, the guilt or the physical pain she felt in her chest. He looked so defeated, and it was her fault. He thought she was afraid of him.

He took another step forward, “Can I?” He motioned to his outstretched hand, holding it out to her. Hailey nodded, slipping her hand into his. He slowly pulled her into to him, her arms snaking around his waist and her cheek pressed against his chest. She took a deep breath, instantly calming her. “Hailey?” She hummed in response. “Can you please tell me what happened? You’re starting to scare me.”

Hailey took a step back, looking him straight in the eye, memorizing the way they were looking at her, in case it was the last time they ever showed that much love. She nodded, grabbing his hand and pulling him to a bench further away from the hospital. This was the last place she wanted to tell him, but he obviously couldn’t wait any longer, he shouldn’t have to. She couldn’t be selfish with him.

They sat down, facing each other. Hailey let her hand fall out of his, folding hers in her lap. “Voight did find a lead.” She said, shrugging. “Ruzek and I didn’t know, he gave us the legit addresses. Adam, he um, he kind of lost it so I told him to go be with Mackayla, and he did. So, I went to find Voight.”

Jay’s eyebrows were cinched together, listening intently. “He was at some warehouse, he had Roy. I walked in and he, uh he, he pulled his gun on me.” Jay’s jaw clenched, but he kept his cool (barely), letting her continue. “He was beating information out of Roy, then you radioed that you found Kim, but-but he was going to kill him anyway. We fought.” Hailey took a breath, but continued to ramble, “I convinced him to bring him in. I wanted to do it the right way, we were going to do it the right way, like you. I wanted to do it right, like you, Jay. But then, then-then he reached for Voight’s gun and, Jay I swear he was going to shoot Voight, so I-” Hailey choked out a sob, unable to look her partner in the eye.

Jay slid his hands in Hailey’s lap, wrapping them around hers. Hailey’s head shot up, shock written all over it, “So you shot him, to protect your Sargeant.” Jay finished for her. She risked her career to protect him even though Voight had no care for hers.

Hailey shuddered, “I promise, I tried. I told him to drop the weapon. I saw him, he had the gun in his hand. I wanted to do it right.”

“Shhh,” Jay said, pulling her to him. “It was a good shoot Hailes, you did it right.” He held her as her tears soaked his shirt, running a hand through her hair. He was trying to soothe her, but he was seething. He couldn’t believe Voight had put her in that situation. Voight had been on the job a long time, he knew better than to come into close contact with a violent offender with an exposed weapon.

Once he wrapped his brain around his anger, it hit him.

“No Jay, not until you say yes.”

Hailey was scared that he would blame her, or leave her over this. He held her a little tighter, his own tears gathering in his eyes as he held her. “I love you.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

That grabbed Hailey’s attention. She peered up at him, her blue eyes filled with tears and hope. “Really?” She asked quietly, her voice breaking.

Jay nodded, not trusting his own voice. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. Hailey’s eyes fluttered closed, this time, no flashbacks plaguing her mind. His hand settled on her cheek, brushing his thumb over her cheek. Jay pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. “Really,” He whispered

There was a cough beside them, and Jay looked up first. Hank Voight was standing before them. “How’s she doing?” He asked.

Hailey stared at him in shock. He looked like he always did. He was no longer wearing his tactical gear and his face was no longer splattered with blood. He was Voight, like nothing had happened. For a split second Hailey envied him, his ability to walk away unscathed, like it was any other Wednesday night and the only thing wrong was Kim’s life was hanging in the balance. Then she looked at Jay, whose jaw was clenched and his eyes were stuck on sergeant. He was just as strong, maybe even stronger, and he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. If he could do it, so could she.

Jay stood, looking like a force to be reckoned with. “You need to leave.”

Voight scoffed, quickly glancing at Hailey, “Excuse me.”

“You heard me Sarge, leave. Now.” Jay said. His voice staying low, but intimidating nonetheless.

“I have a right to be here Jay, to see Burgess,” Voight said, his words becoming louder as he took a step forward.

“Then go, be the leader you’re supposed to be, but don’t you dare go near her.” Hailey’s breath caught in the back of her throat, her heart swelling at the sight in front of her. Voight glared at Jay, nodding shortly. Jay took another step forward, so that their faces were level, “And if she is brought into this, in any way, I will bury you.” He never raised his voice, or made any move to physically escalate the situation. The last thig he wanted to do was scare Hailey more than she already was.

“Understood,” Voight said, with a trace of venom that could have been deadly.

They parted ways, Voight entering the hospital doors and jay turning to face his girlfriend, who had been silent. “Are you okay?” He asked.

Hailey nodded, “Yeah, I’m okay.” She met his concerned gaze. “Thank you.”

Jay gave her a soft smile, “Of course.” She glanced between him and the hospital doors, a nervous look on her face. Jay held out his hand, which she gladly took. “Come on, we can come back in the morning.”

Hailey sighed in relief, standing. He guided them down the sidewalk, wrapping his arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to her temple. “Let’s go home Hailes.”

“Hold on.” Hailey said, her anxiety getting the best of her again. She turned to face him, their eyes locking. She felt tears gather in eyes once again at the look in his, the one she had memorized, that she had prayed would never disappear. She smiled as he eyed her. “Ok, I’m good.” She grabbed his hand, pulling him in the direction of his truck. “Let’s go home.”

…

A/N: I couldn’t help myself, I had to haha. I can’t believe the premieres are only a month away! Thanks for reading <3

#jay halstead #hailey upton #upstead #upstead one shot #8x16 #chiacgo pd #one chicago #hank voight

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nctsworld · 4 years

Text

let me know

✩ mark x reader (ft. johnny) | pining | fluff | 1.5k

→ summary: on the living room couch, mark thinks you’re asleep with your head on his lap and has a conversation with johnny. as you secretly listen, mark reveals he has been meaning to tell you something for a while now. → warnings: dash of angst, reader jumps to conclusions → prompt: Person B falls asleep in Person A's lap and Person A has a conversation with someone else while stroking Person B's hair as if they were a sleeping cat.

→ gif created by me, please don’t repost or share without credit!

It’s a chill day. Just you, Mark, and Johnny hanging around the apartment, playing games, watching Netflix on the couch, and the like. During a rewatch marathon of one of your favourite tv shows, you start to feel your eyes and head get heavy.

“Mark?”

“Yeah?”

Right now, it’s only you and him on the couch with both of you on either end. He glances over and notices how you’re beginning to doze off.

“Can I rest on you?” you ask, despite how you are already making your way over to his side. Your best friend nods and holds an arm out, open and ready for you to fill in the space near him. His arm wraps around your body as you lay your head on his shoulder. Mark’s natural, sweet aroma fills your nose and reacts with your other senses, making you melt into his body more. However, the position isn’t the best for how sleepy you are.

You break away for a second, and, to Mark’s surprise, you relax your head upon his lap.

“Are you comfortable like this?” Your question is soft, barely a whisper. He hasn’t answered yet, but you’re already closing your eyes and begin to draw invisible shapes on his thigh.

“Y-yeah,” he stutters, watching the events unfolding with wide eyes. “Is this comfortable for you?”

Although you don’t manage to answer him, he knows the answer after a few moments as he feels your body become languid under his touch. A smile emerges across his face and he carefully places his hand on your head, rubbing his thumb gently and sending heartwarming vibes in hopes that you would sleep with pleasant dreams.

And your sleep really is peaceful and sweet, perhaps due to Mark’s small touches and caresses throughout it all. The sleeping beauty awakens some time later, but you don’t move in Mark’s lap, continuing to rest with your eyes closed.

From what you hear, the show isn’t playing anymore and is replaced by what you assume is one of Mark’s playlists playing faintly in the background. Your eyelids flicker, not wanting to open them fully, and see Mark scrolling on his phone.

Suddenly, Johnny’s footsteps are present, causing you to immediately shut your eyes and continue your act. There’s a clinking of a glass on the table nearby. Mark says a quick thank you, followed by a small thud in the armchair adjacent to the couch.

Johnny speaks up in a lower tone than usual, likely for your benefit, “You know, you could’ve gotten up and get the drink yourself.”

“You know I don’t want to disturb her.”

You imagine Johnny rolling his eyes. Sips could be heard in the room above you and from the armchair, before the older of the two men chimes in again.

“So,” his voice is gentle, more careful this time. “When are you going to tell her?”

It takes so much from you to not react to the conversation. Nevertheless, you contain yourself, but with perked ears. What were they referring to? What could Mark possibly have to tell you? Both of you were thick as thieves and secrets weren’t an issue in your friendship.

No words are exchanged for some time. Other than the music, the only thing you’re aware of is Mark petting your head and casually running a few fingers through your hair.

“Soon,” you feel his body rock a little, and assume he’s nodding in response. “I’ve been figuring out the right time to say something.”

“Dude, you just gotta go for it.”

“I know. I just—what if it…”

Another pause lingers in the air. Mark inhales sharply; his breathing becomes a little shaky. Beyond the mystery of what Mark wants to tell you, you also wonder why Mark’s hesitating so much. He’s not normally this unsure of himself, or anything really.

“What if it ruins things for us?” he asks softly, with tinges of anxiety hanging from his words.

Mark can’t detect it, but your chest tightens in both sympathy over his concern for your relationship and fear of what Mark has to declare to you. The possibilities of what he has to confess run through your mind in a flash. You’re almost certain about what Mark is referring to, and it kills you to think he hasn’t told you since both of you are so close.

Johnny counters Mark nonchalantly, “You won’t know until you do it. I’m surprised she hasn’t caught on yet.”

“Is it that obvious?”

Risking a chance, you peek at the lanky man in the armchair, who is raising an eyebrow in doubt. Mark sighs and his body rocks slightly once again.

Your eyes are closed again and you exhale a small huff, processing what just occurred. You don’t know how to feel with this new information. Every touch from Mark ignites you in joy and bliss, like all the times he’s done so previously.

Regardless, if your assumption is real and true, why is he so casual and open with you physically? All the touches, the hugs, the forehead touches...

Your thoughts are spiraling the more you think, so you try your best to ignore them and indulge in the moment longer by attempting to sleep more.

Undoubtedly, the sleep doesn’t last as long as before. Feeling distant and unsure of everything, you pull away from Mark hastily when you wake before he can say anything to you and you abruptly announce that you should get going.

“You don’t want to stay for dinner?” Mark’s behind you when he inquires, yet you can see the confusion on his face from the inflection of his voice. You shake your head fervently and mumble barren excuses.

He’s standing, silently watching you put your shoes on, until he decides to add, “Wait, actually, before you go, I need to tell you something—”

You cut him off with a wave of your hand, still not wanting to face him. “I know, I know. I heard you and Johnny talking.” Mark tenses and watches you continue to put on your other shoe in shock.

“You have a girlfriend,” you state on his behalf prior to standing up to finally match his gaze.

“I get it and I’m fine with it.” The lies roll off your tongue and don’t sit well with you, but you truly don’t want to ruin what you and Mark have. “It won’t ruin—”

“Whoa, hold up,” now Mark’s the one who interjects, holding his hands out to stop you. His eyebrows furrow at your statement. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

You do the same, except with an addition of a tilt of your head. “Are you sure?”

Mark chuckles, causing your guard to let down a little. “I think I’d know if I have a girlfriend or not.”

Trying to study him, you’re looking for any signs of lying or joking on his face. Mark often joshes around with you, but he can only hold his wall of lies for so long.

However, like he always did when you pressured him for dishonesty and Mark was expressing the truth, he pushed back with a flash of his genuine, saccharine smile.

You cross your arms, then lean against the hallway wall. “Then, what is it?”

In an instant, Mark’s composure is severed into broken pieces. He laughs awkwardly, prior to rubbing a hand against the back of his head and he ruffles his hair in the process.

“Uh…” his filler drones on endlessly and you keep your gaze steady on him, waiting for him to say what he’s been meaning to inform you.

“I, uh, like you. I guess.”

That is not what you’re expecting.

But it’s definitely better than hearing Mark has a girlfriend.

“You guess?” you echo him with a small smile on your face.

He clears his throat, deepens his voice, and holds his tone steady as he says it once more and deliberately makes an effort to stare back at you.

“I like you.”

The hallway lighting isn’t the best, yet how did his eyes seem to sparkle under it?

You groan and place your face into the palm of your hands.

“Are… Are you okay?” Mark comes a little closer to you and reaches out to comfort you.

“I legit thought you were talking about having a girlfriend during that entire convo,” your voice is muffled as you embarrassingly say within your palms. You drag your hands down your face.

Mark’s shaking his head and takes hold of the tips of your fingers in his after you drop your hands.

“Why would I want anyone other than you?”

You dart your face up to glance up at him.

“Really?”

He nods earnestly.

“Really.”

Both of you at this moment are staring, smiling, and giggling all at once. You bite your lip when you begin to take off your shoes.

“I guess I could stay for dinner.”

“You guess?” Mark mocks your tone from moments ago. Playfully, you punch him in the arm with tingling cheeks.

And with that response, Mark didn’t need to ask if you felt the same way about him.

#mark x reader #mark lee x reader #mark lee imagines #mark lee scenarios #mark lee fluff #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct scenarios #mark lee #nct #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 #mywritings #myfanfics

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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years

Text

Title: Quarantine: A Love Story {18}

Chris Evans x Reader Series

Warning: Cursing, Lite Angst, Fluff,

Words: 5.2k

Note: Some super important and legit questions. Who guessed right? Poor Chris? Or I’ont feel sorry for that b**ch? Anyone still on the summoning Charles train?

I hope you guys enjoy this. If you enjoyed this LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG.

As always, thank you for reading!!! ❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

***Mildly Interactive***

Previous Chapters: Q1 | Q2 | Q3 | Q4 | Q5 | Q6 | Q7 | Q8 | Q9 | Q10 | Q11 | Q12 | Q13 | Q14 | Q15 | Q16 | Q17 |

~~~~~~~~~~~

-Y/N-

He didn’t say one word to you at dinner. His eyes barely left his plate. If someone spoke to him, he answered in as few words as possible. Everyone knew he was in a pissy mood, but no one batted an eye to it. It was possible they were so used to his Gemini twin switch-ups that they just ignored them. You, on the other hand, were more in tuned to them than ever. You blamed the new parameters of your relationship. With the thought of that word, your fork froze on its way to your mouth. Relationship? There was no way it was a relationship. It was just sex—really great, incredible, toe curling, eye rolling, tongue biting, lose your voice, sex.

“Would you like some more peas, Y/N?”

“No, thank you. I’m full already.”

You saw the look on Chris’s face. It looked as if he’d tasted the sourest lemon ever. It looked that way every time you spoke. The longer the silent treatment went on, the more you accepted that you’d struck a nerve with him on the beach. His small confession would be great and all if you could believe it. Your brain was split in two, and your heart refused to even enter the conversation. You listened to the conversations around you while you pushed the remainder of your food around your plate. It would be interesting to see how much longer this went on for.

After dinner, everyone made it to the cinema room for another newly released on-demand movie. Scott and Zack were booed up in one of the corners while the other couples were doing similar things. Ms. Lisa sat with the kids, and Chris was by himself in the back. The safe bet was sitting with the kids and Ms. Lisa, but that’s not what you did. You squeezed past Chris and plopped down beside him. He didn’t look at you; he kept his eyes front and center.

As you waited for the movie to begin, you munched on the popcorn and rose the footrest to get comfortable. Once it did begin, nothing changed. Chris was silent the whole way through. He didn’t laugh, didn’t move, and didn’t speak. He didn’t even look as if he was watching it. You even tried to get his attention by accidentally bumping him from time to time, moving around an excessive amount, and even offering him popcorn. Nothing worked.

Once the movie finished, he got up and left without a word. You were ready to slap him with a book. You hated the cat and mouse game. You’d never played anything but the mouse and being the cat wasn’t where it was at for you. You didn’t chase any man. It wasn't who you were—not anymore. So, instead of going after him, you said your goodnights and went back to the guesthouse, ready to turn in for the night.

After checking some emails and doing some drawing, you sipped a glass of wine while watching the moon in the sky. The goal was for the combination of the two to tire you out enough for your brain to quiet down so you could rest. After an hour, you were on your second bottle of wine and still watching the moon with no end in sight. You were still wired, and your brain was still running a mile a minute. Every minute or so, your eyes always drifted to the window that you now knew was Chris's. It was dark. You didn’t know if he was asleep or just not there.

Your mind drifted back to earlier on the beach. He knew your patterns. When he read you with not even a slip, it threw you. Yeah, you’d hung out sometimes when you were with Scott or your group of friends, but you never thought he paid that close attention. It wasn’t easy to know your patterns. It was something that took careful studying. Scott knew them because he was around you a lot. Chris knowing them meant you were never his brother’s annoying friend, or that cute black girl he wouldn’t mind smashing to smithereens. It meant he cared, really cared and wanted more than sex all along.

If that was true, then you were fucked. Lisa’s words echoed in your head.

“When it’s the one, Y/N, you’ll have no hesitations. You might fight it, but it won’t change anything.”

No, you thought springing to your feet to pace around. There was no fucking way that was what it meant. No fucking way could he want more than sex with anyone, especially you. You had nothing in common. You didn’t know shit about each other but how your bodies worked together or whatever Scott shared between you two. Chris Evans was incapable of anything that went deeper than sex. That is just how he was built—it was what Hollywood turned him into.

“No, you're not like the others. You’re different. This is different.”

Your movements stopped, then fragments of conversations from the last few weeks played in your head.

“Goddamn it, Y/N, you mean everything.”

“You cripple me with how much I want.”

“You’re all I want to see, Y/N.”

“I see your heart, Y/N, I’ve always seen it no matter how hard you’ve tried to hide it, tried to pretend like you don’t have one.”

“None of this has ever been about sex for me. I could never do that to you. You deserve so much more than that.”

“You make me want things I can’t have.”

“No one matters before you. You’re all I see; all I’ve ever seen.”

“I trust you.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Y/N.”

“I’m scared of you.”

“Oh, sweet baby Jesus,” you whispered.

It was right in front of you. All you had to do was pull the curtain back to reveal it. With that knowledge, you didn’t dare touch the curtain. Not tonight. You grabbed the empty bottles and went back inside. After crawling into bed with your AirPods in, you listened to your sleep mix. Ninety percent of the time, it worked. You hoped because you’d had some alcohol, it would be the ticket you needed to drift off to dreamland.

Five minutes passed; you were awake. Ten inched on, and you were staring into the ceiling with your thoughts still racing. You put on your meditation mix and tried to center yourself. Five minutes ticked by with you doing your breathing exercises, then ten with you adding your mantras. Once you’d reached twenty minutes, you gave up. You were now sitting back against the headboard staring out the window Chris had jumped through several hours before. You weren’t going to sleep tonight. The sleep gods were laughing at you while the gods of pleasure, desire, and yearning were mocking and playing with you.

It had been so long you didn’t recognize it was yearning you were feeling. It had been years since you turned that emotion off and severed any possible way it could find its way back inside. Somehow here it was again. The last time you yearned for a man, you ended up with a ruined life, a shattered heart, and needing to move from Connecticut back to Boston at the drop of a hat in the middle of the night so he wouldn’t discover you. The thought of your past had you frozen still as if you were in a night terror unable to move.

It felt like hours before you could move again, though it was just a few minutes. You’d thought you’d gotten past this. You’d never had a flare-up, ever. You quickly pulled your robe back on and tied it tightly before you slipped on your fuzzy slides and dug into the desk drawer. When you walked to the back of the property toward the woods, you followed the same path you had twice before. Though it was dark, you managed to avoid any missteps. You didn’t even know if he was there, but you had a gut feeling he was.

When you pushed open the gate that was overgrown by vines, you saw the lights on outside from your date and the light inside the house. As you crossed the lawn with your phone in one hand and the gift box in the other, you tried to think of the right thing to say. You could apologize, but apologies were tricky for you. It was something that took a lot for you even to attempt. You hadn’t apologized to any man since leaving Connecticut. Once you were in front of the door, you knocked and waited. You could hear Dodger barking up a storm inside. There was no way he was sleeping. Almost two minutes passed before the door opened to reveal a shirtless Chris. The look on his face was an inpatient one.

“Sit Dodger!”

The barking ceased as did the scratching paws on the wooden floor.

“What’re you doing here? You should go back to the guesthouse.”

“I want to be here,” you answered plain as day.

He looked as if he were thinking of the right comeback for a few seconds before he sighed. “Why? The only way you come in here is if you’re finally going to talk to me.”

You dropped your head and groaned. “Chris--.”

“Night,” he said before he closed the door, leaving you out there.

“Son of a--,” you groaned and rolled your eyes. He was so fucking dramatic. You were supposed to be the dramatic one; you were the woman.

“Chris, open the door.”

No answer. You could hear dodger on the other side of the door whining.

“Even Dodger wants me to come in. Open the door.”

Still, he didn’t answer. “Chris, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but I’m not going to beg you to open the door!”

He didn’t fall for it. You rested your forehead on the door and groaned.

“You’re going to have to step outside your frost-covered castle sometime, honey.”

Your mother’s words chose this moment to replay. She’d been periodically saying them to you ever since you moved back to Boston seven years ago. All these years, you hadn’t needed to. All these years you’d resided in your frost castle that was surrounded by your frosted shard protection wall. Anyone who managed to get close enough either hurt themselves or remained there stupidly continuing trying to break through. Only those you chose to come inside the frozen castle came in, and it was on your terms. None of them lasted—you made sure of it.

“Keep pushing. You just might get what you say you want—to be alone forever.”

You had pushed him. You’d been pushing this entire time. You’d pushed time and time again, and he wasn’t running. He was doing the opposite. He was pounding the ice shards attempting to break them.

“Fuck!”

“Fine—we’ll—we’ll talk,” you slowly said.

The other side of the door was still quiet. Were you talking to yourself now? Had he walked away and actually left you standing outside? When your anger began to rise from all the possibilities, the door opened again. Chris stared at you for several long moments before he widened the door so you could walk inside. When you did, you dipped down to scratch behind Dodger’s ears.

“Hey boy. Thanks for pleading my case.” He licked your cheek then scurried off.

When you stood, Chris walked from the kitchen to the doors that led to the back deck. You placed the giftbox in your hand on the wall shelf by the door then walked to the deck to see Chris seated drinking a bottle of beer from the twelve-pack on the center of the table. You took a deep breath and sat on the table crossing your legs as children did in a play circle. Chris stared at your exposed legs, groaned, and looked up to you. The look he gave you said he knew what you were trying to do even before you actually tried to do it. Rolling your eyes, you got off the table and sat across him on the bench then grabbed a beer. After slapping the cap off the edge of the table, you guzzled some.

Long minutes passed with neither of you speaking. You didn’t know what he wanted you to say.

“When did you break things off?”

You put the bottle to your head once again and sighed out when you placed it on the table to shuffle it between your hands.

“Not long. That night you saw me on the phone by the pool.”

“When he said you should take time to figure out what you want?”

You nodded while keeping your eyes low.

“Was it what you wanted?”

“I was indifferent to it either way,” you confessed. When you said it, you felt like you should have felt like a horrible person, but you didn’t.

“Did you have feelings for him?”

You had to work overtime not to roll your eyes into the stratosphere. You hated being questioned.

“Why does it matter? It’s done.”

“It matters,” Chris dryly replied.

With exasperation laced all through your voice, you countered. “Did you have feelings for any of the girls you were with?”

Your eyes met, and he held your gaze as he emptied his first bottle and put it to the side. As he took another and slammed off the top, he spoke.

“You’re doing it again.” His voice was mainly emotionless, but you picked up a hint of annoyance.

Narrowing your eyes, you flared your nose. You hated being questioned, but you hated feeling backed into a corner even more. Why was it that he was the only one who could make you feel like this?

“Is this what you wanted to talk about--my feelings and relationship with another man who I was also sleeping with?”

Chris clenched his jaw and shook his head.

“You’re pushing.” He said it so tediously that you wanted to reach over the table and smack him. You almost did. Instead, you got up and paced the deck for a few moments. When you stopped, you kept your back to him and tried to calm yourself down.

“Charles was a good time,” you softly began. “He was fun. I never intend for anyone I’m with to be--serious. I make no plans, enter with no expectations. Whatever happens, happens—and I don’t develop feelings,” you explained through gritted teeth.

As you spoke the words, you admitted they sounded horrible. You sounded like some black widow that lured men in only to eat them and move on to the next.

The crickets around you were deafening. Chris didn’t speak, and you wondered what he was thinking from your admittance. Would he be like a few before him and tease you about being heartless? Would he start making demands? Anything was possible with him because you realized you didn’t know him on this level. When you were sure five minutes of silence passed, you gathered up the guts to turn back to him. He was sitting on the bench, turned to you patiently watching you—waiting.

“Let me in.”

It was a soft plea. It was so soft it tugged at your heartstrings and gave you another unfamiliar feeling.

“Just a little—please.” Chris held out his hand to you and sat there waiting. He looked as if he wasn’t in a hurry for you to decide.

You stared at his outstretched hand but stayed where you were.

“How?” It was a whisper. You doubted he heard it.

“Take my hand,” Chris whispered. “Take my hand. That’s it. The first step is taking my hand.”

Another few minutes passed with you still standing there and looking at him as if he were an alien asking you to get on his space ship.

“I don’t—I don’t think I can,” you whispered, emotion clogging your throat.

“Then we’ll stay like this until you think you can,” Chris softly answered.

He was being so sweet and gentle that it was touching. He was showing you a different side to him, one that you’d never seen before, not in this light. After what could have been ten minutes, you slowly closed the space between you. When you stood before him, it took you longer to reach for him. Chris’s hand engulfed yours, but he didn’t move you, he just held it. It was you who sat before him on the bench.

Chris pulled you closer to him with his hands gripping your thighs. Thankfully, the wood of the bench was varnished and treated, which meant no splinters in your ass. Once Chris was finished moving you, your body was crushed against his with your legs draped over his. He gazed into your eyes so deeply you wondered if he could see into the frozen recesses of your heart.

“Why does he make you so angry?”

The muscles in his jaw danced as he breathed out. You could see he was debating opening up to you. The storm in his eyes fluctuated from an intense sapphire blue to a dangerous navy.

“Let me in, Chris. How do you expect me to do it if you won’t?”

He scoffed. “Throwing my words back at me, huh.” You smirked and nodded. Chris pressed his forehead to yours and took a deep breath.

“I do know him.”

Your eyes bugged from his quiet confession. “What? What do you mean you know him? You said you didn’t,” you rushed out.

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to impact whatever you had going on with him.”

You clenched your jaw and reigned in the anger that was threatening to boil over. “Talk.”

“Earlier in my career when I’d just gotten to Hollywood, we became friends. I called him MD. We experienced the lifestyle together, we partied, met girls—got pretty wild.”

You were speechless. You had no idea about any of this, neither did Scott. This meant he’d kept this from everyone. Why?

“When I got with Jessica, we hung out a little bit but not anything wild like we used to. She didn’t like the partyer me, so to keep the peace, I let go of a lot of behaviors for her. When we broke up, I thought it was because of me, because I didn’t see myself settling down to do the serious thing that young in my career. I never questioned why she accepted it so easily I just thought she realized I was right, and the timing wasn’t right for either of us.”

He paused, dropped his head, and pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked to be struggling, and part of you wanted to tell him he could stop, but the other part needed to know the truth once and for all. You waited but instinctively laced your fingers with his and held his hand. Chris stared at your hands for a few moments then looked at you before he cleared his throat.

“We got back into the party lifestyle, and it was great once again. Things went back to normal with partying until the sun came up every night and one-night stands and flings. The party never stopped,” he explained before he paused and took a deep breath.

“Then I met Minka, and once again, things got serious, and I cut back on the partying and the lifestyle. She liked him, and we hung out together a lot. Um—we broke up a few times but got back together for the long haul and were together for about two years.”

It was then you saw the crack in his calm demeanor. His shoulders dropped, and the tight clench in his jaw looked painful. It took him several moments to speak again. When he did, his voice was softer. “

“One night, I go over to her place out the blue, and she’s in the hot tub with MD, and they were—yeah.” Chris was quiet for the next twenty or so seconds before he quickly spoke again. “The crazy thing was she saw me first freaked out, said my name but he didn’t budge. I remember it clearly, he said fuck him, I fuck you better, I always have.”

Your jaw dropped. Chris took a few moments to continue, but you could tell his emotions were all over the place right now. “I saw red, and we fought right there. It got really wild. I think I even remember holding his head under the water. I don’t know how I backed off, but I did and ended things told him to stay the fuck away from me and mine. We’d see each other around town from time to time, but we never spoke. I stayed out his way he stayed out of mine.”

He exaggeratedly cleared his throat as he rubbed the back of his neck to bring his hands through his hair, giving it a mad scientist aesthetic. “

A few months after that, I found out that the reason Jessica was so cool with ending things was because she was seeing him behind my back.”

Your jaw couldn’t open any wider. All you could do was sit there stunned with wide eyes.

“Yeah. So he’d been with both my girlfriends behind my back, and I don’t know I lost it and--.”

“—Turned into that Chris, the one who didn’t trust or--.”

“Allow anyone to catch me slipping up,” he filled in.

It was all making sense. It was so insane that you hadn’t suspected before.

“So you knew who he was at the New Years' party? You knew and let me leave with him?”

Again, Chris dropped his head and heavily breathed out. “I didn’t want to interfere. It wasn’t my place, but believe me, I wanted to knock his ass into the next state when he approached you. Every fucking time I saw him with you, I just—I saw my exes all over again. They all chose him over me,” Chris quietly confessed.

He was letting you in. This was him being vulnerable, leading by example.

“They preferred him over me, then when you did too—It pissed me off. He pisses me off. You choosing him that night, and for the last few months—it hurt, Y/N.”

You were speechless yet again. What the hell were you supposed to say to that?

“I didn’t know any of this, Chris. How could I have ever known your history?”

“I know. I didn’t tell anyone. I never spoke about it. Scott doesn’t even know all of it.”

You cupped his bearded cheek then hugged him. “I never chose him over you, Chris.”

“Of course you did.” You could hear his scorn.

You pulled back and looked at him and made sure he was going to understand the next words that came out of your mouth.

“He was a stand-in, a pass time, a distraction.”

“From what?”

Your heart was racing, and all you could hear was the sound of it pounding in your ears. You dropped your head to his shoulder and tried to catch your breath.

“I can’t breathe.”

You couldn’t believe you were going to have a panic attack. This was yet another thing that you’d thought you’d gotten over.

“Breathe, Y/N, come on. Try to slow your breaths; take slow deep ones. Follow me.”

Chris demonstrated how he wanted you to breathe, but you struggled to mirror him.

He turned you so your legs were on the floor, then he sank before you to push your head between your legs.

“Close your eyes and listen to my voice. Calm down. Slow deep breathes. Let my voice calm you. In—out—in—out. Bring in the calm energy, release the panic. Bring in the calm energy, release the panic.”

Feeling your windpipe closing and your pores shrinking, you nearly went into severe panic mode. You tried to focus on his voice and following the instructions and the techniques you’d learned long ago, but it seemed nothing wanted to work. Chris repeated the process several more times and dreadfully slowly, but surely your breathing returned to normal, and your panic faded.

“There you go. You got it. You’re doing great, Y/N.”

When you looked up at him, you could see his worry. “I’m—okay.”

He handed you a beer, and you gulped it all down, not lowering the bottle once. When you did, you took a few deep breaths.

“Wow, I thought I’d gotten over those. I haven’t had one in six or so years.”

“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re feeling better,” Chris expressed. You sat there in awe and lunged for him throwing your arms around his neck.

“I didn’t know about Charles. He never told me he knew you.”

“He wouldn’t. I’m convinced he went after you not only because you’re gorgeous but because of your connection to me. He must have thought something was going on between us.”

You gasped, then quickly pulled back and gaped at him. “Did you promise him that you’d stay away from me?”

The look on his face said it all. He had.

“Chris,” you began.

“I guess when he heard you’d be here quarantining with me, he called me and said he really wanted to make things work with you and said that he knew we had bad blood, but he swore it was water under the bridge because we were both young and dumb. He said he was falling in love with you and wanted my word I wouldn’t try to get revenge for what he did to me. He asked me to stay away from you.”

Hearing the whole story conflicting emotions filled you. On one side, you were shocked that Charles had had the nerve to do something like that, especially after what he’d done to him in the past. You were also fuming that these two men took it upon themselves to make a plan about you without you. They thought they could take control of your life like you had no say.

“Don’t blow up,” Chris said before you sprang to your feet.

“Oh, you know I’m gonna blow up. What the fuck, Chris! I can’t believe you made a promise like that.”

“I know. I don’t know why I did it. You looked happy with him.”

“If you hadn’t gotten that call, would you have tried to get your revenge? Is that what this was? Did you sleep with me as a way to get back at him?”

“What! No. that’s insane. I’d never do something like that to you. I’d never use you like that. Me sleeping with you had nothing to do with him and everything about how I feel about you!”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore!” You sat back on your side of the table and planted your forehead into your perched hands.

Chris sat in front of you again and reached for you. “Don’t touch me.”

“Y/N listen to me. You have to believe me. I made that promise, yes, and I intended to keep it, but over these last weeks, something has changed. He’s just an infuriating reminder of everything and my insecurities, insecurities that I thought I’d buried. I didn’t sleep with you for any devious reasons.”

They were pretty words.

“Look into my eyes,” Chris suggested. When you did, you saw him as clear as crystal. He was telling the truth.

“This is a lot, Chris.”

“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Your phone vibrated on the table, and both your eyes went to it. Charles’s ID and face ran across the screen. Without thinking about it, you answered the phone on speaker.

“Hello?”

“Hey baby. I’ve been trying to get you for a few days. I miss you.”

Chris shifted uncomfortably and moved as if he planned on getting up. You felt something flick off inside of you. You put your hand over Chris’s and looked into his eyes as you spoke.

“I don’t miss you, Charles.”

“Wha—what?”

“You heard me. I don’t think I’ve ever really missed you. I’m honestly not into you—not really. You were right; we do need time apart. A lot of time, matter of fact, I think you should delete my number.”

“Wait, wait, Y/N, what’s going on? What happened?” The panic in his voice was high. He was freaking out.

“I slept with Chris, and it was incredible.”

Three seconds of silence passed. Both you and Chris never took your eyes off of each other.

“What!”

His rage could not be missed. “That son of a bitch!”

“You’re the bitch Charles. Look at this as karma. What goes around comes around, and it looks like you just got a heaping pile of it for being a piece of shit. Don’t call me anymore. I want to leave you with one important piece of information. He fucked me better than you ever did.”

With that, you hung up and went to his contact to block and delete it.

“Wow,” Chris began.

“Hang on.” You went into your pictures and scrolled through to his folder and deleted it.

“What was that?”

“You don’t wanna know,” you said as you slid your phone away. “Done. It’s over with. He’s gone. I promise I’m not choosing him. I never was going to choose him.”

Chris stared at you for a few moments before he walked around to you to take your hand. “Let’s go to bed. It’s been a long day.”

You allowed him to lead you inside and to the bedroom. Once inside, Chris peeled off his linen pajama pants and sat at the edge of the bed, reaching for you. When you stepped between his legs, he pulled the tie of your robe while staring in your eyes. When he pushed it off your shoulders, you stood naked in front of him. He didn’t look at your body, though. Chris led you into the bed and pulled the blankets over your bodies and pulled you into his massive arms. You could feel his heart steadily thumping against your back, and soon your heartbeat matched his.

“Slow and steady?”

You remained quiet for a little while before you turned to lay on your back. Chris rolled onto you and hovered over your body. Slowly he caressed your cheek.

“Slow and steady,” you whispered back. When he kissed you, it was soft and slow. He never pushed for more, even though you could feel his hardening length. You just laid there and sensually made out. You’d been kissed tens of times before, and this was not a first. It was a first that you felt something more than physical. It was something almost like what you’d felt a long time ago, but it was very different.

You trailed your hands down his back to graze across his ass. Chris moaned and thrusted forward before he rolled off of you. “I just want to hold you. Nothing else, just—intimacy,” he whispered as he settled behind you and held you so close no one would be able to tell where he began, and you ended.

“Chris,” you began.

“Let me be the man you deserve,” Chris finished. The words were like a ton of bricks, but they didn’t painfully crash onto you. They crashed onto you in a way that made you want to say words you had no idea how even to formulate.

“Fuck,” you whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!***

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#quarantine: a love story fic #q18 #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x black reader #black fanfiction #angst fanfic #slow burn #chris evans smut

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shinsouskitten · 4 years

Note

bakugou , deku , todoroki , dabi reactions to a conversation ur having with a friend talking about how much you like / admire them ,,, idk that makes any sense but feel free to change anything !! ly♥️

To the anon that sent in the spam ily! I won’t be doing them in the order you sent them, sorry if that’s an issue, but I just felt like writing some of them sooner than others

Yo this is such a cute idea tho 🥺 I usually just put in a cut for nsfw stuff, but I decided to for this post cause it was getting a little long (like Dabi... I’m not sorry)

I legit can’t remember writing half of this. I loaded up my document the next day and apparently I’d written half of this at 3am with no memory of it. Not the first time that’s happened, but it’s always fun

For Bakugou, Deku, and Todoroki, the reader is in 1A with them. For Dabi, the reader is an associate of the League if that makes sense? I hope this is okay!

Warnings: Dabi’s got a tad suggestive, but other than that I don’t think so?

---

💥 Katsuki Bakugou:

You sat on your bed, legs crossed beneath you as you stared at your computer on your bed, unbeknownst to the two boys walking past your dorm room. Your friend’s face shone into the room, illuminating the darkness with blue light.

“He’s just so cool!” Your voice echoed out into the hallway.

Bakugou froze. Who were you talking about? He had half a mind to barge in and find out immediately, but the rational part of him (however small it is) convinced him to stay where he was. He waved for Kirishima to keep walking, and the red haired boy sent a wink towards Bakugou as he disappeared down the hall.

Hesitantly, Bakugou leant against the wall just close enough to hear through the crack of the open door, but far away enough that he could make a quick getaway if it opened. He could see a slither of light through the crack, and without the sound of another voice realized you must have been on the phone.

“No I haven’t told him that.” He could hear the roll of your eyes as you spoke. “He doesn’t like me anyway. At least not like that.”

Now Bakugou was annoyed. Who didn’t like you? Whoever it was had better hope they weren’t paired with him next for training. He stepped closer, hand reaching for the door, until he heard you speak again.

“Of course he wouldn’t like me, f/n, I don’t really think I’m Bakugou’s type.”

His eyes widened as he heard his name, his hand freezing inches from the door handle.

“Like yeah, he’s a little aggressive and shouty sometimes, but I really like him. I tried to talk to Kiri about it, you know, cause they’re besties or whatever, but he just told me to talk to Bakugou myself.”

So… you liked him? Suffice to say he wasn’t sure how to react immediately. Bakugou wasn’t the best with feelings. Sure, he thought you were okay. He felt a strange protectiveness when you were around, but he had never really thought much of it. Not until he heard with his own two ears that you liked him. Did he like you? Is that what it was?

“Fine, I’ll talk to him tomorrow. You happy now?”

Tomorrow? That was too soon.

“No I won’t chicken out!”

You probably would.

“No, I'm not asking Kiri to film it! Isn’t my word enough?”

Not really.

“I said I’ll do it!”

Would you though?

“Okay that’s it, I’m talking to him tomorrow. Good night.”

As you ended the call, you placed your phone on your bed, walking to your door to pull it shut.

Bakugou held his breath as you gripped the door handle. If you saw him now that would ruin everything. As the door clicked shut he let out a sigh.

Fine, you were going to talk to him tomorrow? He’d be ready for you.

---

A/n This is my first time writing for the broccoli boi so I hope it’s not too ooc

🥦 Izuku Mydoria (Deku):

He hadn’t meant to snoop. Really - he hadn’t. He had just been on a walk when he saw you chatting away with a friend he didn’t recognize. He wasn’t trying to follow you, but you were walking the same way he was. He didn’t want to interrupt your conversation, so he was simply waiting until you stopped, then he could say hi. It wasn’t weird, was it? It-

“I swear if you say one more thing about how cool you think he is I’m going to leave.” Your friend laughed, nudging you in the side with their elbow.

Deku stopped. Who did you think was cool? Must have been someone special to you if you were talking about them that much. He frowned. He’d had a crush on you since he first met you, but he had no idea what to do about it. He couldn’t flirt very well, and whenever you were around him he just froze. If you liked someone else, maybe it was time for him to give up.

“But he is!” You retorted with a pout. “Why can’t I talk about him?”

“You’d be better talking to him.” Your friend replied.

“He always runs away from me.” You frowned. “I don’t think he likes me.”

As your voice began to fade, Deku realized you were getting too far away to hear you properly. He stumbled to keep up with you, not caring if you noticed him anymore. He had to find out who you were talking about, even if you caught him for doing so. It would be worth it.

“Maybe he runs away because he likes you.” Your friend suggested.

You frowned. “What?”

They stopped, turning to face you. “Why do you like him?”

“I…” You sighed, closing your eyes as you thought. “I just do. He’s heroic you know, which seems silly to say when we’re all training to be heroes, but it’s still true. He’s sweet and kind, and the way he takes notes on everyone is really cute.”

Hold up... were you talking… about him? To his knowledge, no one else from his class actively took notes on the others, except for him. Unless it was someone outside of UA. But you’d never mentioned anyone before. So… could it be him?

Your friend smiled, throwing an arm over your shoulder and pulling you towards an arcade. The amount of people would make it impossible for Deku to keep following- uh I mean, just normally walking through town. For now he’d have to give up on finding out who you were talking about.

As he turned to leave, he saw your friend lift their head over their shoulder, and the two of them locked eyes. They sent him a wink, then continued to pull you through the crowd of people, where you disappeared from sight.

Maybe you were talking about him. His cheeks flushed pink, and he made a mental note to find your friend and ask them what the wink really meant. If he couldn’t talk to you, he’d find out another way.

---

❄️🔥 Shōto Todoroki:

He was making his way to the common room for a glass of water. He didn’t expect anyone else to be awake in the dead of night, so when he saw you sitting on the sofa with your phone pressed against your ear he thought sometime must have been wrong. He was about to call out to you, but he stopped when he heard your voice.

“I’m not gonna ask him to tutor me, you idiot.”

Todoroki stopped. Should he tell you he was here? He didn’t want to interrupt your conversation, but he also didn’t want to make you feel anxious about him listening in. He frowned. A tutor? You weren’t exactly struggling in class, in fact you were one of the best, so why would you need a tutor?

“Why not? It’s an excuse to talk to him.” Your friend's voice replied, barely loud enough for Todoroki to hear.

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t wanna lie just to talk to him.”

“But you want to talk to him.”

“Well yeah, but… I don’t know. He’s just so… cool, no pun intended.” You let out a soft laugh. “He’s smart and amazing and powerful. Plus he’s also pretty cute.”

“Then tell him that.”

You sighed. “Maybe I should.” Your head fell back against the sofa, and Todoroki froze, worried that you might see him.

He didn’t want to seem like he was listening to your conversation, even if he technically was. It wasn’t his intention, it just kind of happened. He was curious though. Who were you talking about? clueless bby I love him

“Also, did you really just call me at 2am to talk about your giant crush on Todoroki?”

Wait… you had a crush? On him?

“Maybe.”

“Go to sleep, idiot.”

“I-” You stopped, pulling the phone from your ear to stare at the screen. “They hung up on me! Rude.”

You stood up with a stretch, turning to leave, when you saw Todoroki standing a few metres from you. Your eyes widened as you gripped your phone tightly.

“Oh, Todoroki.” You said, attempting to seem calm and praying that he hadn’t heard your conversation. “Have you been there long?”

He shook his head. He didn’t know what else to do. It technically wasn’t a lie, he couldn’t have been standing there for more than a few minutes.

“That’s good then.” You let out a sigh of relief. “I mean, not that anything was going on anyway. You know what? I’m just gonna go.”

You walked closer, heart pounding in your chest as you slipped past him in a hurried rush to get back to your dorm room and hide under your blankets for the foreseeable future.

After you had gone Todoroki still didn’t move. He turned around just in time to see your figure disappear into the darkness of the hallway, his bi colored eyes glued to the area you had previously been.

He’d have to figure it out tomorrow though, he was still thirsty in more ways than one. When he returned to his room, glass of water in hand, he took a seat on his bed, the image of your retreating form engraved in his mind. A small smile pushed its way onto his face. Maybe he did like you.

---

A/n Why does it always end up sexy with Dabi? He’s either a full-fledged panty dropper or an awkward bitch who has no idea what the word ‘flirt’ is and I can never decide which one I prefer

💙🔥 Dabi:

You didn’t notice him as you walked in your room, phone held up to your cheek as you flopped back onto your bed. Your voice filled the small space, laughter light and gleeful as you spoke with your friend.

Dabi smirked. This was going to be fun. He had the perfect opportunity to scare you, hidden in the dark corner of your room, but he halted when he heard your next words.

“It’s not a crush, f/n.” You rolled your eyes. “Dabi’s just… special to me.”

“Have you told him that?” Your friend's voice filtered through the phone, and you let out a snort.

“Of course I haven’t.” You sighed. “I don’t wanna ruin what we’ve already got.”

“So you just want him to keep ignoring you.”

“He doesn’t ignore me.” You glared, even knowing your friend couldn’t see your expression. “He just speaks… sparingly.”

As a low chuckled flooded your ears you jumped, phone falling to the floor as you spun to see Dabi leaning in the corner of your room, his arms crossed over his chest.

“So, you got a crush on me, doll?” He raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at his lips.

“Y/n? Are you okay?”

You stared blankly at Dabi, unsure what to do, until he strolled forward, picking up your phone and bringing it to his ear.

“She’ll call you back.” He said, his turquoise eyes never leaving yours. “Looks like we’re gonna have a bit of fun.”

“Wait are you Da-?”

With a click he ended the call, tossing your phone to the edge of the bed as he moved to stand in front of you. He lifted one hand to hold your chin, forcing you to keep looking at him as he leant down.

“Should’ve told me sooner.” He whispered, his breath dancing across your neck as a shiver ran down your spine. “I’ve wanted to do this for a while.”

Before you could ask exactly what he meant, a warm hand landed on your thigh, slowly creeping higher up your leg.

“I was in the neighbourhood.” He continued, pressing small kisses across your collarbone as the hand on your chin moved to cup your head. “Imagine my surprise when I heard you professing your love for me.”

“I wasn’t-”

He silenced you with his lips, and your hands moved to hold him closer, wanting to feel as much as his warmth as you could. As he pulled away you whined, but his lips on your neck silenced you once more.

“Maybe I have a little crush on you too.” He drawled. “You still wanna pretend you're not hopelessly in love with me?”

Your words failed you as you melted into his arms. There was no point in denying it. And hell, you’d dreamt about this hundreds of times before. You weren’t going to let anything get in the way of fulfilling your fantasy. You could argue about the little details after. For now, you just wanted to enjoy Dabi.

And enjoy him you did.

omfg I suck at writing sexyness I’m sorry

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #boku no hero #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou #bnha bakugou #izuku midoria x reader #izuku mydoria #bnha deku #shoto todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki #bnha shoto #dabi x reader #dabi #bnha dabi

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ushiwakaout · 3 years

Note

I love your ehat the haikyuu boys would say! Could I please please please request that for Akaashi or Sugawara? You write them so well, I'm literally in love!

I’ll be making two separate ones! I keep thinking that i’m done w this series but y’all keep wanting more 😤 (not that i’m complaining or anything because it keeps me busy)

and thank you 😭 i’m trying really hard to depict the characters well but i feel like i’m just repeating every single one.

Let’s do Suga first (Slight age difference, Suga 27/You 24 || ya’ll have been dating for two years)

“Hey bug- it’s time to get up.” (6:00 am)

*If you don’t wake up he will pull the blankets off you... naked or not*

“Rise and shine bug!!!” very chaotic... very mean.

“What do you mean you don’t wanna get up... To bad, breakfast is getting cold.”

“I woke you up early because I wanted a head start on our day off, thats why.”

“Coffee or tea?”

“I love you too bug.”

*forehead kiss*

*will open every single curtain so sunlight can rain into your place... also does it because he loves seeing your skin glow under the sunlight*

“What do you want to do on our day off?”

*he’s a elementary teacher and you’re a college student*

“I was thinking we could maybe....”

*pulls you into a kiss mid sentence, wrapping his fingers with yours*

“...spend the day at the park, have a picnic like our first date... What do you think?”

*your putty in his hands when he does this every morning. there isn’t a morning that he doesn’t do it*

“What’s on your mind bug?” (6:30 am)

*flash back to last night when he was giving you aftercare, hovering over you lightly as he strokes your face and he says those exact words*

*you tell him and he his brain STOPS WORKING... he’s like Oh? he’s blushing so hard it so cute*

“BUG YOU CAN’T SAY THOSE THINGS TO ME SO EARLY IN THE MORNING”

“WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO ME?!”

“YOU’RE SO SWEET” *cups your cheeks and kisses your face all around* “What did I do to deserve you?”

“Come on lets sit down and eat breakfast”

*he honestly has a tendancy of asking random questions like*

“Where do ducks come from?”

“Do you think Hinata is having fun in brazil?”

“You think he packed enough sun screen?”

“Should I ask him?”

“I think I’ll call him.” (7:00 am)

*he legit be on the phone with him for hours on end until your ready*

*he walks around the house, sits on the couch, gets up from the couch, makes the bed, watches you in the shower for a bit before smiling and whistling away to the patio*

“You ready yet?”(9:10 am)

“Let’s go then... What do you wanna get first?”

“I kinda want some boba tea...”

“You think they have any discounts since we’re a couple?”

“What? It’s just an extra bonus with being with you.”

“You cannot tell me that you don’t enjoy couples discounts.”

“I am not an old lady! I just like saving my money.”

“Shush woman, hold my head and order me something you think i might like.”

You: “You always get the same thing Koushi.”

“Exactly.” (10:00 am)

*he def pats your butt every time he makes you order something for him*

*one of his students has def seen him do it in public but they’ve never said anything*

*sometimes a student runs up to him and hugs him. makes you want to have kids*

*he introduces you to his kid and you just look at him with awe*

“What’s on your mind, bug?”

*he 100% did that on purpose, and now you’re blushing madly*

“What?”

*you hit his arm and quickly walk away from him, he’s jogging to catch up and when he does, he quickly holds you hand again*

“What do you want for lunch?” (12:00 pm)

“I think you know what I want.”

“It’s the only thing I eat, what are you expecting?”

you: “I don’t know how you haven’t burned a hole in your stomach yet.”

“Just because i order my mapo tofu super spicy doesn’t mean... it’s super spicy.”

you: “Kouchi... I can barely eat a bite before crying...”

“It’s not spicy.”

“You’re just a baby.”

*kissing the back of your hand*

*non stop teasing bc you can’t handle spicy food the way he can*

*you guys stop at a shop because both of you forgot to bring a damn basket for the fucking picnic*

“How did we forget a basket? How many baskets do we have now because we’ve forgotten ours?” (12:30)

“I like this one... Do you like this one? I think it matches my hair.”

“This one matches your eyes.... This one- Nope, were getting this one.”

“Okay! Now, lunch!”

“I’ll go get you your food and you get mine, yeah?”

*he pulls you into a soft kiss and just smiles at you*

*HES SO IN LOVE WITH YOU EVERYONE AROUND CAN NOTICE*

*when you come back with his favorite food and a little extra, he get’s excited*

“You brought me sweets?! I brought you some too! Wha’cha get?” (1:30 pm)

*When you pick a spot to sit down, he just wants to kiss you all over. hes the sweetest man you’ll ever meet*

*It’s probably three hours into the picnic and his man FALLS ASLEEP ON YOU. He’s so tired from taking care of young children that just listening to you talk to him so softly and so easily when he was on your lap- it drifted him off to sleep*

you: “Koushi... bub? Wake up... I’m getting hungry again.” (6:30 pm)

*he has the sweetest giggle when he hears your voice*

“Have I told you- HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU?!”

*so much energy when he wakes up- its crazy.*

you: “Kou- you need to be more quiet.”

“No... I LOVE YOU- I LOVE you so so much.”

*starts kissing you everywhere and pins you to the ground*

“I love you so much... and one of these days I am going to make you my wife... and you’ll never know the day.”

*he loves saying stuff like that because it gets in your head all day. little do you know HES LEGIT BEEN CARRYING HIS GRANDMOTHERS OLD RING IN HIS POCKET EVERY DAY FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS BECAUSE HE HASN’T FOUND THE RIGHT MOMENT*

“Come on, let’s go find a restaurant of your choosing.”

*doesn’t let go of your hand until you reach the restaurant table, and then grabs your hand over the table*

“Your hand would look so pretty with a ring on it.” (7:30)

you: “stop joking! you’re awful.”

*he just smiles at you and really just says fuck it*

“Who says i’m joking, bug.”

*under the table he’s taking out the ring from the box and then slowly puts it on your ring finger*

you: “kou-”

“I’ve been holding on to this for about... two years now? What do you say?”

you: “I still think you joking... You’re not, right?”

*he let out a light laugh and shook his head*

“No i’m not...”

*you quickly nod your head and lean over the table to hug him*

“I promise you give you a happy future...”

tags(s): @foggycashdreampainter

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cozyjsuh · 4 years

Text

nct au

favorite things au

genre: all fluff here

pairing: nct 127 x reader

taeil: hand kisses

10/10 the most loving person ever

loves to hold your hand and place kisses on it whenever you’re around

the other boys gag at the sight of their simp of a member

“ew hyung. get a room.”

“you rascal, i can’t. i share with yuta.”

movie nights with him would just consist of him holding your hand close to his mouth so he could kiss it whenever he wants to

the both of your hands get super sweaty but he still doesn’t let go

leans his head onto your shoulder while you concentrate on the movie

when you sleep, he holds your hand close to his lips

overall, he loves the softness of your hands

johnny: forehead kisses

the man is literally 7’11

he can barely reach your forehead by bending down

when he embraces you, your face gets buried in his chest

and i’m ngl, you literally almost suffocate

still, the giant loves affection and touch

you’re literally big spoon 7/10 times

he loves to kiss your forehead when he comes back home from work

on date nights, as the both of you wait for the subway, he wraps you inside of his jacket and pulls you close to his chest while pressing forehead kisses nonstop.

“y/n. please come to bed, i wanna snuggle.”

“sorry, but working on something important.”

“more important than me?”

“of course.”

let me tell you, he sulked. for like an hour before asking for more cuddles.

“i’m just kidding, john. you’re more important than anything.”

flurry of forehead kisses and cuddles

taeyong: cheek kisses

a total softie

and everybody knows it

he likes to stare at you with a small smile every time you enthusiastically talk about anything

tbh most of the time it’s about your university classes

he doesn’t care because he just loves you too much

gets super jealous when you’re hanging around the other members

so he plants kisses on your cheeks every once in a while

you don’t notice his behavior until you feel a tiny tug on your sleeve and find him pouting

“why are you pouting?”

“because.”

“because?”

“pay attention to me, not them.”

you laugh at his words

“okay.”

he leans over to you and leaves a flurry of kisses on your cheeks whenever you lie on his bed and wait for him to finish playing games

your animal crossing houses are legit #couplegoals

he becomes mom of the nct group while you the dad

just loves you so much that he can’t keep his lips off of your cheeks

yuta: neck kisses

as everyone should know, yuta nakamoto is a trouble maker

he loves to embarrass you in front of anybody

which means giving you random neck kisses in front of your parents or the members

he also loves to do stupid pranks on you

one time, he put one red sock in with your white laundry

let’s just say, he got a good beating and slept on the couch for a week

another time, he mixed wasabi into your mint ice cream

thanks to your high spice tolerance you felt nothing

but he felt something when you beat him again

as you lay in bed, watching netflix on your ipad, he jumps on top of you and leaves soft kisses on your neck

“yuta, it tickles.”

does it more just to tease you

by the time you leave their dorm, your neck is wet with yuta’s saliva

doyoung: eye kisses

you lay in bed with him

enjoying the sunlight that shines through his window, to be exact

since his manager was busy with the other boys

the both of you had a chill day

you lay your head against his chest as music softly plays from his record player

he plays with your hair

twisting it, twirling it, everything basically

your legs wrap around his as he softly laughs while watching videos on his phone

“honey.”

“yes y/n?”

“what do you love about me?”

“to be honest love, everything. but if i have to pick one thing, it would be your eyes.”

“why?”

“because i know that i’m the only one you look at.”

he leans and gently kisses your eyelid

and he’s right, he’s the only one you see

jaehyun: ear kisses

let me just get this out there

this boy wakes you up with ear kisses

he just adores your ears the most

he also loves it when you snuggle into his chest

that’s just when he can get closer to your ear

he whispers sweet nothings into your ear, fully aware that you are listening

“you’re so beautiful.” or

“i’m so glad you’re mine.”

loves kissing your outer ear

with the plus of hearing your giggles

by the time he arrives back home, he back hugs you as you cook dinner

again, he whispers

“how was your day,” or

“hello honey.”

his breath tickles your ear

you push him off

“just get ready for dinner. then i’ll allow you to finish.”

he speeds off and comes back in legit four seconds

ready to give some ear kisses

jungwoo: nose kisses

junguwu

what’s more to say

he loves the size of your nose

especially when he can boop it with his finger

you can literally spend years away from jungwoo

but he will never forget your beautiful nose

any chance he gets, he doesn’t forget to kiss your nose

he will always take you to little hidden cafes for some alone time with you

the both of you read books while in the company of one another

you stare out into the snowy city

jungwoo on the other hand, stares at you

before grabbing your hand and running outside with you

you look at him surprised as he lets go and picks up a snowball before throwing it at your face

you then repeat his action

at the end of your snowball fight, your noses were red

he wraps his scarf around your neck and uses it to pull you closer before

dropping a kiss on your red nose

mark: classic lip kisses

mans is a classic romantic

he loves to leave pecks on your mouth randomly throughout the day

whenever you talk to him or the other members, the only thing he stares at are your lips

yuta, unfortunately notices

“yo mark, are you distracted by y/n’s lips?”

“w-what? n-no.”

you softly laugh and continue your story

one day, you and mark decide to go to an amusement park

he plays a bit of games to win you a stuffed animal

in which all attempts were fails

so you told him it was fine and just decided to go on rides

but not rollercoasters cause mark is a literal child

but your last ride of the day ends up being the ferris wheel

as the both of you finally reach the top, mark speaks

“y/n, i love you so much.”

“i love you too mark.”

he leans in for a kiss on his favorite part of your body

your lips

haechan: shoulder blade kisses

he’s a little shit

but he’s your little shit

you walk into the dreamies practice room as the finish up

setting down the bag of chicken you bought for them

hyuck takes you out of the room and to the roof of the building

“where are we going?”

“shh.”

he opens the door and

bam, picnic on the rooftop

“hyuck, you set this up?”

“no, jaemin and jeno did. but i helped!”

back hugging you, he leaves subtle kisses along your shoulder blades

the rest of the night was spent making fun of each other and a food fight

in which, you got in trouble by doyoung and taeyong

but you ran away after so it was fine

a/n: hi, i’m not dead, yet. but this is my first post after being on a super long hiatus on writing because of my writers block. i have so many stories i need to finish, so please stay optimistic and continue loving my stories!

overall masterlist

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regolithheart · 4 years

Note

what do you think about the Nesta/Cassian/Mor conflict? also looking forward to your fics!!

Hi beautiful, sweet, innocent, Nonnie!!

Thank you for writing to me. Like I said, I could talk about Nessian all day and I am full. of. #thoughts. I could give you a short sweet answer, but it’s week six of quarantine, I had a brownie for dinner, and I don’t know what day it is. In the end, you’ll probably regret asking me, but lets just jump into it, shall we?

Unpopular opinion: I don’t like Rhys, Mor, or Feyre. So if you don’t want to hear what I have to say in regards to them, thanks for stopping by. No need to read further.

I’ve never loved Feyre, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I just don’t like main characters in a series. Would I have preferred to read Hermione Granger and the Prisoner of Azkaban? You bet your ass. I also don’t like Rhys for the same reason, but also I dislike Rhys more than Feyre and for additional reasons which we will get to later.

I hate that I dislike Mor, because I loved her so much in ACoMaF and for a hot minute I shipped Mor and Azriel because I am a sucker for the unrequited love trope. A real sucker. And maybe, maybe I could have overlooked the retconning of her being a lesbian (yes, it was a retcon. Fight me.), if it weren’t for the fact that it makes her look really really bad and makes her treatment of Azriel even worse. I get it. I do. Her working through being okay with telling the others any of her business is part of her personal journey, but being honest to someone you claim to love about not being able to love them the way they hope to be is different than telling them you can’t be in a relationship because you prefer the opposite sex. Listen, I obviously have thoughts about this, but that’s not what the question was about so I’ll move on.

Mor and Cassian’s relationship is a dangerous one. They both use each other as a crutch. From day one, Mor was using Cassian. Now, I don’t think she was doing it maliciously, but he appealed to her because he was already one of the most powerful Illyrians and a bastard to boot. Why do you think Mor chose Cassian and not Azriel? Sure, she wanted to own her own body. She wanted to decide who she gets to sleep with, but she decided she wanted to sleep with someone before going to the Autumn Court to stick it to Keir and the establishment. And what better way to stick it to them than to choose an Illyrian bastard. Because being the illegitimate son of an Illyrian lord is still ranked higher than being someone with no father and a dead mother. Mor knew exactly what she was doing when she chose Cassian. She is Rhys’ third-in-command for a reason. She aint no dumdum.

And for 500 years it was all good, right? Mor didn’t care who Cassian hooked up with because she knew they were no threat. But as soon as someone comes along that Cassian has feelings for, like true, legit, feelings, she cannot handle it. Because if she loses Cassian as a buffer then she really will have to be honest with Azriel (the horror). And so what does she do? She gets possessive. She outright hates Nesta and does not hold her feelings or tongue back. Now, some people are going to say that Nesta is the worst. She was horrible to Feyre growing up, she’s rude, she’s belligerent, and she can be a straight up bitch. Yeah. No argument there. We’ve all read the books. We have see the evidence throughout the whole entire series. But so is Rhys, so is Mor, so is Feyre, and Cassian and Amren. The only difference, is that a) they all have each other’s backs while no one has Nesta’s and b) we get to see everyone’s reasons and everyone’s POV except for Nesta’s. Feyre is an unreliable narrator, which is why I’m looking forward to seeing Cassian and Nesta away from Feyre in book 4 because I don’t trust her to tell me what’s going on for realsies.

Honestly, the scene that made me straight up get so pissed at Mor was in ACoFaS when Nesta shows up to the Solstice party and Elain gives Nesta her present. All of Cassian’s attention is pointed to Nesta and what does Mor do? She forces Cassian to pay attention to her by choosing that exact moment to give him his Solstice present. Not any other time before or after when Cassian barely even glances Nesta’s way, but during the what, five seconds, he’s looking at her? PLEASE! It’s so passive aggressive and I hate it. I hate it!

I think the thing that bothers me the most abut Cassian and Mor’s relationship is that it really is just a miniature version of Cassian’s relationship with the Inner Circle in regards to Nesta. But really, when I say Inner Circle, I mean Rhys. I hate how Rhys treats Nesta, thinks of Nesta, and dismisses Nesta. Does he have his reasons? Sure. Are they valid reasons? He sure thinks they are, but like I said before, he’s no angel and we got to hear his full story so until we get Nesta’s full story then I don’t need my inbox blowing up. And honestly, if it turns out that Nesta really is as bad as everyone thinks she is, that’s still not going to change my opinion of her. I mean, why have you even read this far if you don’t like Nesta? Has anyone read this far, period?

What I mean to say is that Cassian loves his family. He loves Nesta. The problem is that his family and Nesta don’t love each other and he will always feel torn apart over it. Cassian knows that Rhys hates Nesta. He can barely acknowledge her existence in front of Rhys and Azriel because they barely do. Yeah, his feelings are complicated right now. He’s hurt, and angry, and confused, and still loves her and can’t work out his feelings because he doesn’t have a safe place to do so. If there’s anyone he should feel comfortable going to to work out these feelings with, it’s Rhys, Az, and Mor but he can’t because he knows exactly how they feel about her, which is that they tolerate her at best. And even then, do they?

I don’t want Cassian to feel like he has to choose between Nesta or his family, but as the situation stands, he probably does feel like that. I mean, who knows. Maybe he’s already chosen his family over Nesta. It’s not like she’s making an argument on her own behalf. But we know Cassian loves Nesta. Even if he’s annoyed with her, or mad, or frustrated with her, we know that he honest-to-the-Mother loves her. But until everyone can heal, and understand one another, and accept each other, it’s a lose-lose situation all around. Notice how I didn’t say love, or even like.

Do I feel sorry for Cassian? Yes. Do I think he’s entirely faultless? Nope. Yes, he’s in a shitty situation, but honestly if he had a real conversation with Mor (and the Inner Circle) about his feelings about/for Nesta and confront her about her treatment of Nesta, he’d get different results. Do I think he’s terrified of having an actual, honest conversation? You betcha.

And yeah, we all know that Nesta isn’t making the situation any easier. But she’s hurt and suffering more than any of us really know. Do I think she's entirely blameless? Absolutely not. But I do feel that Rhys and Mor are extra judgmental of her because they already have their preconceived notions of her and anything she’s done contrary to that is ignored while everything she does that reiterates it is magnified. But here I am getting derailed again.

Nesta feels unloved. We can argue whether or not it is deserved another time, but the fact is that she feels unloved. Probably has always felt unloved. So every time Cassian choses to look at Mor instead of Nesta, it’s confirmation to her that she will never be anyone’s first choice. Look, the only man who said he loved her turned out to be abusive and assaulted her. And then when her father declares that he loves her, he gets murdered right in front of her eyes. Elain is the only other person Nesta knows loves her, and now she’s chosen Feyre and the Inner Circle over her (at least she has in Nesta’s eyes). You see where I’m going with this, right?

Except for the few dire times during the war--like when they’re legit in battle for their lives and emotions are running high--does Cassian let himself show Nesta that he cares for her. The only other times is when they’re by themselves. We know it’s because Cassian hides behind his bravado. But to Nesta, who probably has the worst opinion of herself, it probably means he’s ashamed to show it. Or he’s uncertain. I know we don’t have proof of this in the text, but I like to think I understand Nesta on a deep level, I can just imagine that’s how she’s feeling. Nesta pushes people away so that she doesn’t get disappointed when they decide to leave on their own accord. Nesta fought for Feyre, she fought for Elain, and she fought for Cassian. And in ACoFaS they all essentially turned their backs on her. And you wonder why she has so much rage in her frozen heart.

TL;DR (not that I blame you): It’s complicated and it’s messy and everyone involved has contributed to it’s tangled mess of jealousy, insecurity, selfishness... but I also place more responsibility on the two 500-year-olds than I do on the 23-year-old.

I’m really interested to see how it plays out in the next book(s), but I will tell you right now, I am on team Nesta Archeron and will be until my dying breath.

Also, if you made it to the end...

#anon ask #acotar #nesta archeron #cassian #cassian archeron #nessian #morrigan #listen don't blow up my inbox #because I have opinions #thoughts #long ass post #seriously come talk to me

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nxrthmizu · 4 years

Note

Hey please can i request daichi with an insecure s/o? Just a cute drabble or anything you want just need some soft Daichi in my life🥺

| Reasons to Love You | Sawamura Daichi

»»——⍟——««

prompt | Reasons to love you’ (You didn’t chose a prompt so I just picked one)

pairing | Sawamura Daichi x Reader

words | 1.7k

author’s note | Thank you for the requests baby! Hope you enjoy :) And everyone needs soft Daichi in their lives uwuuu

»»——⍟——««

You stared at the floor-length mirror in your bedroom, poking at the rolls of fat around your stomach. It was just so unfair. You tried to love yourself as much as possible, but the world just had to constantly taunt you and bring you down when you were starting to feel better about yourself.

It was just so unfair.

You had put hours of work into your job, working overtime till you were on the brink of collapsing of exhaustion. And yet, your hard work was all pushed aside due to your rounder figure. Instead of you, another woman who had curves in the right places had been chosen to represent the company. Someone who was more ideal for society’s mold of ‘beautiful’.

Of course, you couldn’t deny that she had worked hard, too, but you had seen the report she had handed up and you knew without a doubt you had poured more effort into yours.

Every part of you knew that the world was unfair, and that was just how things worked on this planet. That didn’t mean you felt any less frustrated, felt any less upset from the let-down. You had worked so hard, dammit! And in the very end, your hard work was disregarded because of your appearance.

They were lying when they said: ‘It’s what’s inside that matters.’. No matter how kind your smile is, no matter how hard you work, no matter how much you care, first appearance will always triumph over everything else. It didn’t matter if you looked neat, professional, and hard-working- So long as you weren’t society’s ideal image of ‘beautiful’, you were disqualified instantly.

“Y/N?” You heard Daichi’s voice as the front door clicked open and shut. Hastily, you tugged down your shirt and stepped away from the mirror, trying to busy yourself with other things. “Hey.” He stepped into your bedroom, a soft smile on his face. “How did it go?”

You tried not to show how upset you were. “I wasn’t chosen,” You told him truthfully. “[The other person] was chosen. She worked really hard too, she deserves it.”

Both of you could hear your voice catch in your throat, and you knew that Daichi could sense how upset you were, really.

“Well,” He started, trying to figure out what to say as he clasped your hands in between his, leading you onto your bed. “There’s something else, isn’t there?” He said gently, his eyes meeting yours, showing you that no matter what, he wouldn’t judge, and that he would listen.

The room fell into silence, the background hum of the ceiling fan sounding deafening. “No.” You lied quietly.

“... Okay.” Daichi said at last, knowing full well that you were lying. “You know what, I have something really important to tell you.” He tugged you along with him, both of you settling down on the middle of the bed, you tucked in between his arms, right in the middle of his warmth.

You waited patiently for him to speak, and after a minute or two of silence, he spoke up.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now,” He begin, his voice sounding like the gentle patter of rain. “I wanted to list out all the reasons that I love you, so let me talk, okay?”

You nodded, burrowing yourself deeper into his embrace.

“1,” He pressed a soft kiss onto your forehead. “You’re always so kind to everyone, no matter what. Like the time you ran out into the rain because you heard a cat outside. And then you climbed up a tree to get the cat down and you were fully soaked by the time you got back inside.”

You laughed, remembering how much he had scolded you for running out recklessly like that. Barely two minutes in his embrace and you were starting to feel slightly better.

“2. You’re always so considerate.” He continued to talk, his fingers finding a place in your hair and brushing through them affectionately. “Whenever I have a bad day at work, you give me extra cuddles and kisses until I feel better, and that’s the best feeling in the world.”

“3.” You were about the mention that he was cuddling you just as you did when he felt upset, but he quickly cut you off with a peck on your lips. “You always sing in the shower when you think I can’t hear you and you have the prettiest voice ever.” He grinned when you squeaked in surprise, not having realised that your bathroom was not sound-proof. “I have a few recordings of you singing on my phone and when I have a bad day at work, I always play them on my phone.”

“Daichi!” You whined. “You never told me you could hear me.”

He chuckled and raised his hands in defence. “In my defence, if I told you, you’d stop singing and I won’t be able to hear your beautiful voice anymore.”

You pouted childishly, whacking his arm playfully.

“Okay let me continue.” He cleared his throat. “4, I adore how you look at me in the morning, when your hair is messy in a sexy way and your eyes are still sleepy. I adore how you look at me before you go to sleep, when the lights are off and I can just faintly see how your eyes sparkle in the dark.” His voice softened. “I love how you look at me like I’m the only person in the world.”

At this point, you were speechless, but he kept going.

“5, I love how you laugh. I love when you burst into full laughter and bend over because you laughed too hard and your stomach hurts.” He smiled, putting over a finger over lips as you started to say something. “For some reason, you always think that laugh is ugly, but I can assure you, it’s the cutest thing ever.” Daichi’s voice lowered. “Plus, I know that when you laugh like that, its’ genuine.”

For the next thirty minutes, your boyfriend continued to list the reasons as to why he loved you.

6. I love how you always fuss over me when I get injured, even when it’s the tiniest wound ever.

7. I love how when I’m with you, time goes by so fast, and when I’m without you, time drags on so slowly.

8. I love how you smile at the littlest things, like a dandelion growing in between the cracks on a sidewalk (It’s not just a weed, you said, it grants wishes).

9. I love how you can be so childish and let loose when most other adults would be afraid to be childish.

10. I love how you always work hard despite everything else.

11. I love how you love the team and my family even though they’re crazy. And they love you so, so much. Just like I do.

12. I love how you insist on feeding me porridge when I’m sick. And how you always insist that I’m not allowed to get up from the bed when I literally only have a cold.

13. I love how you snuggle into my side when we’re sharing an umbrella and it’s raining.

14. I love how you leave sticky-notes with sweet messages on my lunchbox.

15. I love how you always manage to plan things for us to do despite how busy the both of us are. I’ll always have time for you.

16. I love how you’re always so patient with me, even when I forget about our date and didn’t text you because I was busy at work. You deserve so much more.

17. I love how you’re always willing to be the bigger person, saying sorry even when it isn’t your fault.

18. I love how you never get angry at me no matter how many times I forget to do the laundry.

19. I love how you always swap out the wet towels for dry ones when I’m bathing after you.

20. I love how you leave food in the microwave for me to eat when I get home late from work.

21. I love how you just somehow know that I don’t want to talk and just want to be with you. Everything will be fine when you let me lie in your lap and cuddle.

22. I love how you stroke my hair at night when you think I’m asleep.

23. I love how you always whisper ‘I love you’ when you think I’m asleep. Some nights, I lie down and pretend to be asleep just to hear you tell me you love me.

24. I love that you give me space and let me go out to have fun with my friends. And whenever I get home, you never complain about having been lonely (Although you probably were), and instead you ask me if I had fun with a smile; you tell me that you’ve already made dinner; you’re just waiting for me to bath.

25. I love that you always make an effort to be nice to my friends and family, because you know how much they mean to me even though they can be troublesome sometimes.

26. I love how you always sit down to talk to my parents when we visit them. I love how they love you. I love how you love them.

27. I love how you always press yourself closer to me when it’s raining or snowing outside because you’re cold.

28. I love how you always pull the blanket over the both of us and make sure that it covers my legs because you know my feet get cold.

29. I love how you always remember to fix the socks that I tell you have holes in them even though they probably stink even after going through the washer twice.

30. I love how you put up with all my bad habits and that you’re always patient with me and tell me for the thousandth time to throw my dirty clothes in the hamper and not on the bed.

“There are so many more reasons I love you.” He whispered, slightly breathless after his thirtieth reason. “Remember that, okay?”

You smiled, your stomach rolls forgotten. “Thank you. I needed that.” You replied softly, reaching up to press a kiss on his jawline. “I love you too, Daichi.”

Everything was going to be okay, because no matter how unfair the world was, out of all the girls in the world, Daichi had chose you, and that meant more than anything else to you.

»»——⍟——««

JSJSKJSK I SPENT AN HOUR COMING UP WITH THE 30 REASONS. I LEGIT GOOGLED ‘REASONS TO LOVE SOMEONE’.

For everyone out there (Including men, trans people, and basically everyone) who thinks they’re rounder than the general population, or for anyone out there who’s (like me) basically parallel lines with no curves at all, you are beautiful, amazing, and perfect. I also want everyone out there to know that despite me being a literal ‘bamboo’ (As I have zero curves whatsoever), I have stomach rolls too. Athletes and fit people have stomach rolls too. And that’s okay, because it means you’re eating well and you’re taking care of your body :)

Despite everything we do to our body, our body loves us. Anyone studying biology will tell you that our body does a million things to keep us living and breathing with each passing second. Your body loves you, so love your body.

- Cady

»»——⍟——««

#cadyh2o #cady writesss «#sawamura daichi #sawamura daichi x reader #sawamura daichi x y/n #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!!#daichi sawamura #daichi fluff #haikyuu!! fluff #daichi #karasuno

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scarletwinterxx · 4 years

Text

Timeless pt. 3 - Doyoung AU

First, I apologize for the long wait. I’ve been busy this past week, been meaning to write more but I just couldn’t fit in my schedule. Thank you for waiting and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!! xx -A

For my other work you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART TWO.5 || PART THREE || PART FOUR || PART FIVE || PART SIX || FINALE

“I should not be here”

This time instead of saying it in my mind, I uttered the words outloud, Not that the person I was saying it to was even listening

“Joy, can you even hear me? Gosh I feel like my ears are about to pop” I said as I shake my head, the bass from the speakers feel like it was right next to my ears

Why did I agree to go out tonight with Joy was a wonder to me, I could be at home right now catching up on some sleep I’ve been deprived of for so long.

“Just drink, here” she didn’t even hear my previous question so she just handed me a shot glass. Gesturing for me to take it, I rolled my eyes at her before throwing my head back and downing the shot at once

“That’s my girl! Look we have like two more days before graduation then we’re done with school. Forever! If that does not make you want to party then I don’t know what will” she said, already asking the bartender for another round of shots

“Can we celebrate two days from now?” I asked, but again she just handed me another glass. One turned into two which then turned into three until I lost count.

“We deserve this, you need this. Just don’t think about anything else for now okay?” that was all it took for Joy to finally convince to just let go, even just for tonight. And she is right, I needed this.

By the end of the night we were both a giggling mess, I don’t even remember what we’re laughing about.

“Yah Soo Young-ah, how will we go home?” I asked with a pout, I was pretty out of it but I guess my common sense was still working

“Call your fiance, ooooh yes let’s do that. You haven’t seen him since your date”

“It wasn’t a date” I mumbled, slumping on my seat then taking my phone from my purse.

She was right, I haven’t seen Doyoung since our little trip and that was a couple of weeks ago. He’s been busy at work and it was hectic for me too. I was swarmed with requirements, projects, exams and papers I needed to finish in order to finally graduate. It’s a wonder how I survived all of that with little to no sleep at all.

With my clumsy hands, I searched for Doyoung’s name on my phone before pressing the call button.

It was pretty late, around 1am. I didn’t expect him to answer but a big part of me was hoping he will.

“Y/N?” I hear his voice from the other side of the call, he didn’t sound like he just woke up. It really wouldn’t surprise me if he was still up and working.

“Doie!! You answered” I happily replied, it was obvious it was the alcohol talking

“It’s 1am, are you out? I can hear music” I could barely hear him too so I decided to stand up from the bar and walk outside

“I’m out with Joy, I was suppose to be take us home but I don’t even remember where we are” I let out a giggle when I finished talking, definitely drunk at this point

For awhile I didn’t hear anything from him, I thought he hung up the phone

“Okay, can you just stay there until I figure out where you are?”

“Oooh you’re coming?” I asked, a wide smile now on my face

“If you tell me where you are, are you outside right now?” he asked back

“Yes”

“What do you see, any street sign?

“Uhhh wait I see a convenient store across the street” I hear a sigh from the other side of the line

“Y/N, there are convenient stores everywhere. Is there anything else?”

“We took a cab from Joy’s place, she said something about uh... near the fire restaurant” I said trying to remember what Joy said but my mind was too hazy

“Fire restaurant? You mean Ember?” Doyoung asked, it was like a light bulb turned on in my head

“Ah! Yea that one!” I said while laughing, atleast one of us found it funny

“Okay, I know where that is. Please stay there and stay safe. I’ll call you when I get there”

“Okay”

After the call I went back inside to find Joy leaning her head on the table, she looked like she’s about to pass out

“Ya, wake up. What are you doing?” I told her, giving her a poke on the side

“I just want to sleep. Leave me alone” Joy said then swatted her hand away, she then shot right up making me jump back

“Okay, let’s have another drink. For you and your wedding”

“My wedding?”

“Yes, your wedding. Cheers” we downed yet another shot, knowing full well this will not end great for the both of us. We’ll definitely feel like hell tomorrow.

After a couple more drinks, the both of us were definitely out of it. If anyone asks me for my name I probably would take a while to remember it.

“I’m getting married?” I asked her, she just looked at me like I was asking such a stupid question

“Oh my god! You forgot? Look at your finger, Y/N”

When I raised my hand I see a diamond ring on my finger, just like Joy said

“Wow, this is pretty”

“My bestfriend’s going to get married” Joy cheered loudly

“Wait wait wait, who am I going to get married to?” I asked her,

“Him” she said, jutting her chin at something behind me

“Huh?”

“That one, that angry looking guy walking towards us. I think. I’m not sure”

“Where?” Just as I turn around to see who she was referring, a tall person blocked my view

“Excuse me, I’m trying to see the angry guy”

“Y/N” I hear Joy say from behind me

“What? I’m trying to see who I’m getting married to. Excuse me, mister can you move” I said then moved my head to the side

“Y/N” this time it was the guy who was standing infront of me calling out my name, making me look up at him

“Oh! I know you!”

“Yah Y/N, that’s the guy! You’re getting married to him!” Joy not so subtly whispered to me, the guy infront of us looking between us

“Him? No way! I know him, I know you. Don’t I?” I said pointing back and forth between Joy and the guy infront of me

“I know you from somewhere, wait let me think. Hey! That’s my bag” The guy sling my bag on his shoulder then took a hold of my arm then Joy’s

“Everything alright here?” The lady bartender asked

“Yes, she’s my fiance. Has everything been paid for?” The guy answered before either of us could speak

The lady bartender shot him a look before turning to me, “You know him?”

“Me? Uh-” “Yes she knows him, look look this is their engagement ring. Pretty isn’t it” Joy interrupted me by bringing my hand up to show off the ring on my finger

“Look here, is this proof enough? She’s safe with me, she called me to come and get her” The guy showed something from his phone, the lady bartender then only nodded in our direction before going back to her work

“You two, let’s go” the guy said then guided the two of us out the bar and into his car

Joy got dropped off first then it was just me and him. I didn’t feel worried or alarmed that I’m literally drunk out of my wits and here I am with a guy whose identity I can’t remember. There was just this sense of comfort and security about him I can’t explain.

“You alright there?” the guy asked, I know that voice. My drunk mind just can’t seem to pinpoint who he is.

Then it clicked.

What happened these past weeks, why I was out drinking, why I haven’t talked to Doyoung in those weeks and why this guys seemed so familiar.

I turned my head to look at him, his gaze focused on the road.

“Y/N?” Doyoung called out my name, it sounded so gentle as if he was trying not to scare me away

“You came” I told him, I wasn’t sure if he even heard me

“You’re the one who called me”

“I just wasn’t sure if you were really going to come” I sounded like a kid who wasn’t expecting their parent to come to their recital

“You’re the one whose been avoiding me these past few weeks, I don’t even know why”

“Only because you’ve been mean to me” I mumbled, I can see him give me a quick look

“How exactly have I been mean to you? You’re the one who hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts. I even went to your apartment but you weren’t there, or you just didn’t open the door”

Maybe it’s the combination of the alcohol and weeks worth of stress because the next thing I know I was bawling my eyes out. Like legit crying and wailing.

“You... I.... I heard you say you... do you hate me?” I said in between hiccups, in the end I just couldn’t even complete the question

“Where did you even get that?”

“You! You’re the one who said you hated me! I heard you say it in your office when you were talking to Sejeong”

I didn’t hear Doyoung say anything for a while and I was too out of it to think more, so I just sat there crying my emotions out while he drives.

After a few more minutes, Doyoung pulled up in a building and parked his car. Quickly running to my side to help me out.

“i can do it on my own” I mumbled but just as I step one foot on the ground the other one didn’t feel like cooperating so I stumbled a bit. If it wasn’t for Doyoung’s arm that was out and ready to catch me if I fall, I would’ve face-planted in the floor

“Clearly not, atleast let me help you” He said as he pull my arm to him to help me walk a little safer

“No, you hate me. You said that”

“Y/N-ah” he said looking down at me, like a kid who was being told off I felt like crying again. So I did.

I hear him sigh, resting a hand on his car while the other one holds me steady

“Just go, if you don’t want to be here” I whispered but instead of letting me go he just pulled me to him and lead me inside the elevator up to my apartment

“I can’t leave you when you’re like this and I would appreciate it if you stop putting words in my mouth”

I didn’t say anything after that, the fatigue and everything else catching up to me. I was just about ready to pass out right then and there. I don’t know if I would even remember half of the conversation we’re having right now.

When we got to my place, Doyoung opened the door for us. Helping me sit on the couch before walking somewhere. I hear him opening some cabinets from the other room before returning with a glass of water

“Drink all of this so you won’t feel as bad tomorrow, I’ll go see if you have some medicine just in case” He said then walked away again before I could say anything

After finishing my glass of water, I decided to walk to my room as I was feeling really sleepy. When I got it my room, I shook my coat of and jumped on the bed already half asleep. I head Doyoung enter the room but I didn’t open my eyes, too tired from everything that happened today.

I feel him lift up the blanket to tuck me under it, making sure I was comfortable. When I can feel my self dozing of I feel a wet thing touch my face, then the familiar smell of my make up remover invaded my sense of smell. Sometime during that I passed out.

By the time morning came, my head hurt so much I couldn’t be bothered to think how I got home. I assumed Joy got us an uber or something. The curtain was only halfway drawn so there some light entering the room, it hurt my eyes and my brain feels like it’s just about to explode. Just as I was about to fall back to sleep I hear something from outside somewhere in my apartment. I don’t live with anyone else, who would be here this early in the day?

I stood up and walked out of my room, the sight that welcomed me was a shock. It was Doyoung standing in the middle of my kitchen, cooking something with my bright yellow apron on him.

“Doyoung?” I croaked out making him turn to where I was currently standing

“You’re awake, go sit I’m almost done” he said then turned his attention back on the stove

“Uh why and how are you here? In my apartment”

“You don’t remember?”

“What? Did I do something stupid? say something stupid?” I said getting alarmed by what happened the previous night

“Something like that, we can talk about it after you eat and take a medicine for that headache” he answered me, walking to the counter and putting a bowl of what looks like hangover soup infront of me.

I said a low thank you before taking the spoon and eat the soup he prepared. I hear him walk down the hallway before returning to my side and taking a seat beside me. “Medicine for you” he said void of any emotion.

I must have said or done something. Everything about this situation seemed off, I can just tell, he didn’t sound mad but it’s like he’s also holding himself back from saying something.

We spent the rest of mealtime in peace, while putting away the dished we used I could just feel Doyoung’s stare from behind. Wiping my hand on the towel, I turned to face him and sure enough he was leaning with his back on the counter, arms crossed and an intense stare on his face

“Okay, go. Lay it all on me. What did I do?” I said, there was no use beating around the bush

“Remember your 20th birthday?” Doyoung asked me, but before I could give him an answer he was speaking again

“You went out with Joy that time, you had one too many bottles of soju. Joy had to call me to come and pick you up. You were so out of it, you probably don’t remember anything from that night”

And he’s right, up to this day I don’t know what I said that night. Joy keeps on making jokes about it but there’s also something she’s not telling me about that day.

“You wouldn’t let go of my arm, you were just clinging onto me. Every time we tried to make you seat at the backseat you would start crying, Joy had to drive the car back to your place. The whole ride you were just holding onto me”

My cheeks were flaming from the embarrassment. I don’t remember ever doing that. I feel horrified just thinking about it.

“I helped you sit on the couch, went and got you a glass of water but when I came back you were passed out on the couch. You looked so peaceful that time”

“Joy told me why you were out drinking, said something about you being broken hearted and all that. You needed that break, I don’t know if you heard her but suddenly you woke up and pulled on my hand, looked me dead in the eye and said ‘I’m sad’. I asked why and all you said was ‘because you love her’. At first I didn’t get what you were saying, turning to Joy to ask what you were talking about”

“You heard us didn’t you?” he asked me

“Huh?”

“At my office, you were there. You heard us” he told me, I couldn’t even look up to him but I could feel his gaze on me

THREE WEEKS AGO

After the little get away trip with Doyoung, I felt more at ease. Even when I have tons of work to do before graduation, that one day trip was enough relaxation time for us.

It so happens that I don’t have any class today so I decided to drop by his office, it wasn’t that far of a drive from where I live and it was around lunch time. I should’ve called first and checked with him but I wanted it to be a surprise.

Turns out I was the one going to be surprised when I get there.

When I got to their building, I made my way to the elevator and up to the floor where Doyoung’s office was. I’ve only been here a couple of times, my dad always took me with him whenever he had some business to take care of.

“Hi, is Doyoung in?” I asked his secretary, pointing to his office

“Mr. Kim? Yes, he’s currently in his office” I blushed a bit when she said Mr. Kim, I almost forgot that this is the life that Doyoung lives whenever he’s in the office. Not as Doyoung but as Mr. Kim.

“Oh okay, is he busy or in a meeting?”

“No ma’am, you can wait here. I’ll go ahead and phone you in, he’s talking to someone right now” she told me with a smile, I also managed to catch her eyes wandering on my finger.

“Thank you” I quickly returned with a smile before taking a seat nearby “Excuse me, may I ask where the comfort room is?”

“It’s pass that door straight in that hallway, the door on your right” I mumbled a quick thank you before walking towards the direction she just said. The hallway just happen to be near where Doyoung’s office was, with his door bit ajar I could overhear the conversation going on as I pass by.

I wasn’t going to listen. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but then I heard my name being mentioned

“When you said Y/N was just a friend, that was never the case was it?” I hear a female voice asked

It was clear enough that whoever and whatever they were talking about in there, it was more personal rather than business.

“She is my friend, we’ve known each other for so long” I hear Doyoung say

“But even when we were together, she was always in the middle. Like we knew it was inevitable. Did you know?”

“Know what?”

“Of the engagement, Doyoung!”

“No I didn’t! Neither did she. If I had a choice do you think this is how I would have wanted to tell you? It was beyond my control” Doyoung exclaimed, he didn’t sound mad. He just sounded frustrated.

“That hurt, it hurt so much when I heard about the engagement. It even hurt more when I learned about it while I was scrolling through the morning news. When I called you, I was hoping you’d say it’s just another one of those things they made up”

“I’m sorry if you feel that way”

“If she wasn’t your friend, would you have said yes?”

“I don’t know the answer to that”

“It’s a simple question” I didn’t stay to hear what his answer would be, I don’t think I could handle it so I just left.

“I didn’t mean to”

“I don’t hate you, I never said I hated you. I never did and I never will. This situation we’re in? yes I hate it because I don’t want this to be the reason for you to be mad at me” at this I looked up at him, slightly taken aback by what he just said

“I take it as you didn’t hear what I told her since you’ve been ignoring me since that day” he told me, I can’t say no because he was right

“I don’t think I could handle to hear whatever your answer was” I mumbled

“If I had a choice... I would have asked her to marry me but on my terms. Not like this. That’s what I said ” I looked up at him to see if he was joking or not, but I was just making myself more anxious.

This is Doyoung, he would never joke about things like this.

“You’re the only person that would hear me even when I’m not speaking, you don’t push me to do things I don’t want to. You’re on my side not because you need something from me. To you, I’m this guy that always persuaded to switch lunch meals with you but I only did that because I knew you didn’t like yours. To you, I’m that person you feel safe with. You would always hold on to the end of my shirt and curl your fingers around it whenever we’re in a crowded place or you feel anxious.”

He took a pause, walking a bit closer to me making me shuffle backwards until my back hit the counter,

“But next time.. next time when you feel anxious or it feels like you need a safe space just hold my hand. I’ll be there”

“Doyoung”

“I’m sorry you were sad again because of me. And because of Sejeong, too. But please never say that I hate you, Okay?”

He put a hand under my chin to lift it up, now we’re looking at each other

“I meant it when I said I’m glad you’re the one I’m marrying, I hope you are too” he took my hand and lift it up to his lips, laying a gentle peck just where my ring was.

“Next time something like this bothers you, just talk to me okay? Please don’t shut me out, I understand if you need some time for yourself but know that I’m here to listen” Doyoung told with nothing but sincerity in his eyes

“Did I say something so stupid last night?” I asked, this made him laugh out loud before pulling me in for a tight hug. Tucking me under his chin, my head on the crook of his neck.

“Yes, lots of times actually. You really said I hated you, silly girl” I feel him pat me on the head before resting it on my back

“From now on, let’s stay together like this okay?” He whispered, his hand running up and down my back in a comforting manner.

I wanted nothing more than to stay like this with him for the rest of the time. All the worries I had these past weeks now washed away.

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dadzawa-adopt-dabi · 3 years

Text

Discord Prompt pain lvl 7

The sun is still coming up and Dabi's never been more thankful for an empty base.

Dabi started finally calming down as he laid his head against Jin's chest and listened to his heartbeat. Jin shouted and stepped through with him as Dabi hid his face in Jin's sweater.

He was sitting on the couch and one of the blankets Shigaraki was always in was thrown over him. It was heavy and he found himself tightly wrapping it around his shoulders as it pressed him into the cushions. It smelled like the entire LoV and Dabi found his breaths finally slowing as his head cleared.

"Here, Toga grabbed these from your room. She's pacing in there with a couple knives." Shigaraki crouched in front of him with a clean pair of clothes. Dabi took another breath to steady himself as he took them. A moment later Toga was sprinting towards him with a familiar beat up tiny backpack ramming into her.

"It's low. Everything in here is old." Toga bit out as she struggled to rip the zipper open and Dabi reached out and ruffled her hair, still laying flat on the couch. Her eyes teared up and she picked at the edge of the cushion. "Is. Do you feel too yuck for cuddles?" she asked quietly, in the most tactful way she could think of. Dabi lifted one corner of the weighted blanket in response and she dove underneath, up against him and grabbing his face to look him in the eyes.

"It's fine, Toga. I'm okay, see?" He looked her in the eyes and she laid down with a nod. Holding tight to one of his wrists, fingers hovering over his pulse as she started drifting back to sleep.

Dabi's breathing so slowed down and he slumped into the blanket that was pressing him down onto the couch. It was heavy and he could understand why Shigaraki always had one around him. Shigaraki brushed his scent gland against Dabi's hair and he tucked his head down into the blanket and Toga.

Sako came and sat on the arm of the sofa. Combing his fingers into his hair after he gave Dabi a chance to pull away from it and keeping his movements slow.

"Thank you Dabi, for calling us," Sako spoke calmly once the rest of the league headed to bed and left them alone. Dabi glanced up at him to see him without his mask for once. A small smile on his face battling the concern. "Jin said you said some pretty concerning things, Dabi. You also smell of that Keigo Takami."

Toga snuffled in her sleep and gripped tight to Dabi as his chin trembled and he shrugged again.

"I did want it?" Dabi whispered, glancing around in the dark to avoid eye contact.

Jin walked back in to try taking Toga from him, she protested at first and sank her fangs into Jin's arm in a sleepy state of alarm but Jin didn't even seem to notice as he held her.

"He said he was broken," he lightly growled and stopped when Toga whimpered. "I'm putting her to bed. Showers open if you need it, Dabi."

Dabi grabbed the clothes Shigaraki had brought out and headed for the bathroom, he could still feel the cum and slick oozing out of him and crusting in his boxers. He was exhausted, crying and the breakdown in its entirety had taken a lot out of him. He didn't know what was wrong with him.

Just that normal omega's didn't run from the best sex they'd ever had, the best... experiance Dabi had in general.

"What? Dabi did Keigo?" Sako cut himself off as Dabi shook his head and looked down at the floor. Shoulders up around his ears and bright red.

"Look, I'm sorry-" Dabi was cut off by Sako coming up to him and grabbing his chin, forcing eye contact for just a moment before he let go of him.

"Okay. Well, whatever happened you can tell me later. Just so we are clear on exactly what pieces of Takami I will be breaking." He gave Dabi a tiny smirk, accepting a cup of coffee as Kuroguri handed it to him with a whisper of waiting for him.

"Mr. You, you can go back to bed." Dabi whispered in an inaudible mumble. looking down the hall towards the shower. He just didn't want to ever talk about this again. It was embarrassing, both the fussing over him and the break down. He'd... there had been some really shitty times and this night didn't even clear the top 5. There wasn't a reason to be so upset but the shame wouldn't leave him alone.

Sako waited up anyways and was there when he came out in clean clothes. Stumbling back towards the couch and lifting the blanket up.

"Why the fuck is this so heavy?" he mumbled to himself as he closed his eyes. Leaning against the couch as Sako came and sat down on the other end.

"Okay. So you wanted to have sex with Takami, and you did. Did he not stop when you asked? Did he make you uncomfortable at all?" Sako asked and lifted one of his arms in invitation for Dabi to borrow against him.

Dabi shrugged uncomfortably and looked over at Sako, he bit the inside of his cheek to stop a whimper and debated if he would just end up anxious and uncomfortable if he took up the invitation. Sako waited patiently until Dabi gave in and let himself fall sideways to be held.

"No. He didn't. I have no idea why I'm just having a meltdown, maybe I really am just, broken Mr." he mumbled quietly. Sako patted his shoulder.

"You're not. Somethings going on Dabi, whatever it is we can work on it," Sako hummed. “You hesitated when I asked if he made you uncomfortable."

"He didn't." Dabi insisted and when Sako didn't press he continued, feeling like he had to explain why he hesitated. "We- Fuck I don't know okay? I don't know what made me decide I was down for getting fucked by an Alpha Hero tonight. But I did. Okay? I wanted it, wanted him. Then we were just making out in some alley and I needed air, so I pushed him back."

Sako took a deep breath in at that and held it. "Okay, that's good, if you wanted a roll in the hay with Hawks you're allowed to have that. Why did you need air? Did he let you push him away?"

Dabi snorted at Sako's polite way of referencing him being horny. It was laugh or cry, and he was out of tears and too tired to actually laugh.

"He did. Easily, barely had to push and he was turning me on so badly. it's not like I wasn't still enjoying it? We just, he offered his apartment. I've never-" Dabi cut himself off with a noise that was half a sob and half a laugh. He didn't know anymore.

"Oh Dabi. You're not broken, I promise. Tell me more, this old man wants all that coffee you kids keep dropping." Sako nudged Dabi and he let out a little laugh.

"Okay, okay. So we go back to his place to fuck, I’m uh... not feeling well. Nerves or some shit. My stomach keeps flipping and I just, I want him but I’m also not really sure how this is gonna go now. He," Dabi laughed and turned himself into Sako. "Okay. He decided he wanted to wine and dine me after I got my feet under me, alright? Then he took me back to his actual legit fucking bedroom there was a couch right there!, and fucked me so well I actually came twice, and purred afterwards as I actually fell asleep in his arms?" Dabi was laughing again. So absurd it was funny. What the fuck had tonight even been? He couldn't even dream this shit up, too far to go for any one night stand.

"It sounds like you had a wonderful night and a gentleman showed you a good time, Dabi. I'm happy for you, so what changed then? What happened?" He lightly pressed and combed Dabi's hair.

"I woke up." Dabi muttered quietly staring ahead at nothing. "I just, I woke up and I... I don't know, Mr. I just had to leave and then I felt... I felt gross? And sick. I've, it doesn't make sense. I was fine, and then I woke up and I wasn't and I couldn't get home. Couldn't get myself together enough to call Kuroguri and then just, had a meltdown."

Sako shook his head, continuing to pet Dabi's head as he thought in silence.

"I get fucked like that" Dabi stuck one hand out of the blanket to gesture loosely with an embarrassed bright red face. "And then, I freak out? Have a meltdown over what exactly?"

"Well, I'll tell you one thing Dabi, it does not mean that you are a broken omega." He stood up and groaned as his bones creaked. Dabi closed his eyes on the couch. Ready to go to bed already and wake up from this, this whatever it was. A dream or a nightmare, he didn't know. Didn't know how to figure it out.

part 1 [x]

#thedarkonewrites #dabi #omegadabi #omegaverse #alphakeigo #mpreg #omegaversepreg #kidfic #dabihawks #hotwings #past assult hinted at #lemon scented #lemon aftertaste #bnha #mha #fanfic #keigo tamaki

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bnha-imagines-all-around · 4 years

Text

Jealous (Mirio Togata Headcanons)

Request: “Hi! I loved “Please Don’t leave me” with Togata, legit made me cryyy! Can I request angsty headcanons with Togata?? Best friend secretly loves him but gets distant, cold and jealous bc girls flirt with him? Togata notices and feels hurt and confused and tries to talk to her but she avoids him till he physically stops her and breaks down cause he’s afraid of losing her cause he also loves her? You can pick the ending (fluff, angst, both, anything is good)! Thanks!”

Author’s note: YAY MORE SUNSHINE BOI!!! These turned out way longer than I anticipated (my bad) and probably read more like an imagine than headcanons (again my bad), but hope it’s okay! Also, my request box is OPEN, so please send in all the requests! :D

Warnings: Angst, some fluff

- You couldn’t help but notice how girls tried to talk to Mirio all the time, to the point where you and him were never alone together anymore.

- You would literally just be getting to a moment where it was just you and him, alone, when a group of girls would seemingly magically appear, giggling and flirting with Mirio right in front of you. They acted as though you were a ghost, as though you weren’t actually there with them. You were insignificant to them because Mirio was there.

- You began to feel your blood boiling and your heart pounding almost viciously in your chest as you watched the girls fawn over your best friend. They would bat their eyes at him, smile wide and laugh at every joke he made, twirl their hair, lean slightly too close to him, rest their hands on his arms or chest. And the worst part? He seemed to be enjoying every second of it.

- “Mirio? Hey, are we still going to that cafe you spoke about? Cause my lunch break is almost over,” You called out just a bit too loudly, trying to regain your best friend’s attention.

- However, Mirio simply waved his hand at you and payed you just enough attention to smile sheepishly, “Sorry, (Y/N)! Maybe another time. Guess I got too caught up chatting!”

- This went on for days; you trying to hang out with Mirio and your plans being blown off because of random girls.

- Eventually it became a week, and then another. Mirio was your best friend, and yet, he had barely said so much as “hello” to you in the past few weeks. He always seemed caught up by some group of air-headed, flirty girls and you had seemed to fade out of existence to him.

- Your heart was breaking a little more with every passing day. You loved Mirio, more than just a friend, and yet it seemed as though you weren’t even that to him anymore. You had truly become a ghost, invisible to him.

- The jealousy you felt every day from seeing the same scene play over and over again, paired with the loss of your best friend and the boy you loved, was starting to tear you apart.

- You started to spend less and less time with Mirio, leaving sooner and sooner each time the other girls came up and began to flirt with him. Mirio was a gentleman, you knew that, so he’d dedicate his full attention to them as they spoke to him. But that didn’t make it hurt any less.

- It eventually got to the point where you didn’t even bother making an attempt to be around Mirio. You just couldn’t do it anymore, it hurt too much.

- It even progressed to you actively avoiding Mirio at every turn; if you saw him coming towards you, you would either turn and walk in a different direction, or just walk straight past him without acknowledging that you had even seen him. Not that Mirio noticed, anyways.

- The pain and heartbreak you felt each day began to affect you more profoundly than ever before. You no longer ate properly, only picking at whatever was on the plate in front of you, you barely slept anymore, and most of all, you withdrew into yourself more than ever.

- Your appearance changed drastically; you suddenly looked worn down and exhausted, and despite hearing other students whispering about it in the hallways, you couldn’t really care less about it anymore.

- Nejire and Tamaki would also notice the drastic changes almost immediately, pulling you aside to speak to you one day.

- “(Y/N)-chan! What’s going on? You look super exhausted, are you sleeping at all? You don’t talk to us anymore, did something happen? Did we do something?”

- Nejire asked you a billion questions in quick succession, but all you could do was shake your head in reply. You had no energy to give her a proper answer.

- “(L/N)... what happened? We wanna help you... we’re your friends,” Tamaki asked quietly, but again, you just shook your head and vaguely mumbled something about you ‘being fine’.

- “Don’t lie to us, (Y/N)-chan, we can see that something’s wrong. Maybe I should get Mirio! He was always good at cheering you up!” Nejire suggested.

- the coldness and harshness of the look you suddenly sent her took both her and Tamaki aback. You always went to Mirio if you were upset; what had changed?

- Then, for the first time in days, you spoke.

- “I want nothing to do with Togata. I don’t want to see him, I don’t want to be around him, I want nothing to do with him anymore. Understood?”

- Nejire and Tamaki both stood there, absolutely stunned by the coldness and resolution in your voice as you swiftly spun on your heel and walked away. You hadn’t referred to Mirio by his last name in years. This was bad.

- Of course, what you didn’t realize was that Mirio DID notice you. He noticed everything about you; your change in demeanour, your change in appearance your absence, everything.

- It took him a little while, but Mirio did notice that you weren’t ever around him anymore. What’s more, you never even made the effort to come talk to him or be with him anymore, and it broke his heart.

- Mirio was constantly brushing off the girls who came to speak and flirt with him as he tried to find you and talk to you, but to no success.

- When Mirio caught glimpses of you in the hallways and over lunch breaks, he saw how run-down you looked, and he quickly began to feel your loss.

- While the attention the girls gave him was nice, it often proved more annoying than anything and, well, Mirio being Mirio, he was just trying to be polite. He wasn’t interested in any of them because he had you. You were his best friend, his partner, and his number one person to turn to whenever he wanted to talk about anything. You were his (Y/N).

- Or rather, he’d hoped you’d be his (Y/N) one day. Mirio had been in love with you for a long, LONG time, and you were his favourite person in the whole world, always by his side. And now, suddenly, you weren’t there anymore. It was like there was this huge hole that had been punched out in his chest. You weren’t there anymore, but... why?

- It broke his heart even more every time he looked at you; you looked so tired, so sad, so... fragile. Mirio felt heartbroken, confused and scared. What had happened? What had he done to lose you?

- Mirio quickly realized that not only were you not seeking him out anymore, you were actively avoiding him. He couldn’t help but feel a pang in his chest when he saw you turn around and walk in a different direction when you had noticed him coming towards you.

- “(Y/N)! Hey, (Y/N)! Wait up!” Mirio had shouted to you one day, but as you always did, you quickly turned around, ignored him and walked away even faster, eventually losing him in a crowd of students returning to class.

- Mirio was beginning to feel hopeless and panicked; he needed to do something. He needed to speak to you, no matter the cost, to make things right. He had to fix this.

- “Mirio! I don’t know what happened between you and (Y/N)-chan, but you gotta fix it! She said she wants nothing to do with you anymore! She even called you “Togata” when I suggested I get you to cheer her up! I haven’t heard her call you that since before you became friends! You need to fix this!” Nejire would exclaim one day during lunch, and Mirio felt his heart sink to the floor. It reaffirmed what he already knew; this was really, really bad.

- Mirio’s heart would pound violently in his chest as he sprinted through the halls of the school, trying desperately to find you. His mind was racing through a million thoughts per second, but there was one constantly reoccurring thought:

- ‘(Y/N)... where are you? I’m sorry... please, let me fix this!’

- Fate was on his side that day, because Mirio managed to find you curled up tightly in a windowsill in the library, with one of your favorite books in your lap as you gazed out the window.

- “(Y/N)! I found you,” Mirio exclaimed, panting slightly as he approached you.

- His words had startled you out of your revelry, and you quickly turned to see Mirio standing there, looking straight at you with sadness in his eyes.

- You wouldn’t speak a word. The scene of Mirio flirting with countless girls flashed in your mind, and as your heart broke a little more, you would swiftly put your book away and get off the windowsill before heading towards the exit of the library behind Mirio. You couldn’t do this.

- “No, wait! (Y/N), please don’t go!” Mirio shouted, his hand extending to grab your wrist as you passed him.

- His sudden action startled you, and you found yourself frozen on the spot for a moment before you felt a familiar sense of anger rising in you.

- You jerked your wrist out of his grasp before snapping, “Why? I don’t owe you anything, Togata. Don’t you have some girls to flirt with? You’ll be terribly behind schedule if you waste your time talking to somebody like me.”

- Mirio visibly winced at the sound of his last name, but he reached out and grabbed both of your hands this time, not giving up the fight. He couldn’t lose you.

- “Please just, listen to me! Please, (Y/N), p-please...” Mirio’s voice cracked as he begged you to listen, and he felt his eyes sting as tears suddenly pooled in them; he was so, so afraid. He didn’t know what was going to happen, and he didn’t know if he had already lost you, but he had to try.

- “(Y/N)... I don’t know what happened, but I’m sorry if I hurt you, (Y/N). I honestly didn’t mean to hurt you. Please... let me set this right. I can’t... I can’t lose you.”

- You found yourself listening to him, but all the hurt and jealousy and heartbreak from the past weeks suddenly came rushing back as Mirio spoke.

- His voice was quiet, and you could hear it trembling slightly as Mirio tried to keep calm. Your heart lurched in your chest; you had never seen him this way before. He looked so scared.

- Tears suddenly filled your eyes and slid silently down your cheeks, your body shaking with silent sobs as you tried to keep yourself together. Before you knew it, all the words you had wanted to say came spilling out of your mouth.

- “Well, you did hurt me, Mirio! You hurt me, and you hurt me bad! I tried so hard to be around you, to put up with being ignored and shoved aside like I meant nothing to you every single day. Do you know how that feels?! Do you know what it’s like to have the person you’re in love with cast you into the shadows because other girls wanna flirt and giggle with and fawn over him?! Do you know how it feels to watch yourself being replaced?! Because I do! YOU made me go through that, Mirio! For days, weeks!”

- At any other time, you would’ve felt awful for shouting at Mirio the way you were doing now, but there were so many things you needed to say that you couldn’t make yourself stop.

- “Yeah, at first I was just jealous, but it became more than that, Mirio! Seeing that, it was tearing me apart, piece by piece, and I couldn’t do it anymore! I’ve loved you for so long, and I tried so hard but I couldn’t do it anymore!”

- You took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to collect yourself before finishing shakily, “If you’re trying to play the hero now because you feel guilty, you’re too late. I had to save myself because you couldn’t even see me.”

- A heavy silence would fill the air, which would be pierced by a sound you did not expect; a sob. But not one that came from you.

- You would watch as Mirio silently broke down in front of you, tears spilling down his cheeks and you began to cry again too.

- Then, before you had time to register what was happening, you found yourself in Mirio’s embrace. He was hugging you tighter than ever before, and your heart did a funny jolt; you faintly registered that you had admitted to loving him in your speech.

- Mirio would just hold you and hug you tightly until both of you calmed down. Once he was collected enough, he would begin to speak quietly, not letting you go for a moment.

- “I’m sorry I hurt you so badly, (Y/N). I’m so sorry. I honestly didn’t mean to. Those girls, they didn’t mean anything. The attention was nice at first, but... it quickly grew to be annoying. I was just trying to be polite. I didn’t realize what it cost me. Please... let me try to make it up to you. Please, (Y/N). I can’t bear to lose you. You’re my best friend and I love you too much to lose you this way. I love you, (Y/N). I do, and I have for so long. Longer than even I know! Please... let me fix this.”

- You would think about his words for a good few moments, but all you could hear was his voice saying those three words over and over; “I love you.” You didn’t realize just how much you had missed Mirio until now; you’d missed his embrace, his voice, his eyes, his smile, his spirit, everything about him. Even just this one moment with him was healing.

- You believed Mirio and what he said, so you made your decision.

- “... Alright. You’ll have a chance to make it up to me. But don’t screw this up. It’s the only chance you’ll get, understood?”

- “Thank you, (Y/N). I won’t screw it up, I promise!” Mirio would pull his head back just enough to smile down at you, to which you returned a small smile. Then, in a moment of courage, Mirio leaned down and gently pressed his lips to your forehead, causing you to blush violently.

- “You know... I meant what I said, (Y/N). I love you. I do,” Mirio whispered, his own cheeks turning bright red.

- “I know. I love you too, but I think we have some work to do first,” you replied, looking up at him.

- “Well... how about that coffee date I promised you?”

- “I though you’d never ask.”

#mha #mha imagines #mha x reader #mirio togata #mirio togata imagine #mirio togata x reader #mirio togata headcanons #lemillion #lemillion x reader #lemillion imagine #bnha #bnha imagines #bnha x reader

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