#its only because of the fanfiction i swear

[gilyoungroach]

#voltron #klance #vld #gotta take my pills #its only because of the fanfiction i swear

[brainbesplit]

mob vote

the mob votes make me so sad because in order to get all the silly little animals you have to mod the losers in and for some reason none of the mods ever add them in a way that feels vanilla. they take the original concept and add three new utility items and armor and stuff and its like dude they just told us we were getting the Glorper what do you mean i can get Glorp Armor the original concept was JUST the Glorper

#minecraft #mob votew #that said i dont get as salty as the average redditor #i hate how toxic the minecraft community is honestly #people say every swear word in existence and sometimes say slurs because the wrong mob got picked. ??? #its dumb #but oh well maybe one day the minecraft community will go back to being Cool and Fun #one can only dream #anyways minecraft steve alex efe makena kai noor sunny ari zuri herobrine fanfiction should be a thing #without it just being a crossover or a crackfic #i want people to give these goobers some god damn personality #give me minecraft polycule or give me death

[ryozaki21]

After You - N.JM

1/4 diary of the heartbreakers

summary: ➸ ♡ Na Jaemin had it easy. Loved by everybody, the man of everyone's dream. He's a perfect mix of a charmer and a player. Girls begged to be his, and he loved every part of it. Life used to be so fucking perfect for him. Then comes you. You're like an old book, ink fading, cover tearing, but he swears you're worth the read. Before you, life was easy. After you? He wasn't so sure.

"Break my heart, and you'll only find yourself inside."

GENRE: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mature themes

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, Language, Mental Illness, Drugs/Alcohol usage, Addiction, toxic!reader, fuckboy!Jaemin (but still a sweetheart)

WC: 19k (I got carried away, lol)

DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fanfiction. Only the names of the Idols are used, and does not reflect on them in real life. There's no way in any shape of form that they are like this in person, because I MADE IT UP. I don't personally know them. DO NOT STEAL / TRANSLATE / MODIFY. This is my work and I don't appreciate people stealing it. Thank you.

Enjoy reading! -ryo

//////////////////////

"Look who finally decides to show up," Jeno welcomed Jaemin with open arms, Haechan and Renjun following in pursuit.

"Come on, I just saw you guys about a week ago. Don't be dramatic." Jaemin loosened his tie, sat at the vacant seat beside Renjun.

"No Yeri today?" Haechan smirked, obviously mocking Jaemin.

"She has plans with her friends," Jaemin wants to shift the topic quickly, not wanting to be the center of attention for so long.

"Are you sure its not because she hates us?" Renjun looked at Jaemin with his brow raised.

"She hates everyone." Jaemin grabbed the flute glass in front of him as he saw the waiter come by with champagne.

"No offense, Jaemin, but I hate that her too." Haechan, eating the garlic bread. Jaemin rolled his eyes.

"Makes two of us." Jeno chimed in, drinking his champagne aswell. Jaemin didn't say anything, waiting for Renjun's addition to his girlfriend's hate train.

"All of us hate her, actually. Sorry man but your girl is literally the reincarnation of the devil." Renjun.

"You guys done? I know she isn't the best but she's still my girlfriend?" Jaemin, like the other times his friends tell him how horrible his girlfriend is, try to defend her even tho he knows that they're partly right.

"Yeah, we know. One of the mysteries even Sherlock Holmes can't fucking solve." Haechan chuckled. Jaemin let out a sigh and drank the champagne in one shot. He barely gets a break from Yeri, and when he does, his friends still mentions her name in every conversation they have.

"She disrespects everyone, literally went out with you just to show you off to her friends. I don't understand why you're still with her." Jeno rants, trying to make Jaemin understand. He doesn't mean to drag Yeri, but Jeno cannot understand how the likes of Jaemin, will go out with Yeri who treats him like shit.

"No shit, dude. Neither do I." Jaemin admitted, leaning back on his chair before dragging his hands through his hair.

"How about Karina? She's great, you went out with her a few times, right?" Haechan.

Jaemin, for the ninth time this night, rolled his eyes. "She moved to Paris."

"Joy? The girl you took to Haechan's birthday?" Renjun, pulling up a picture of Joy he searched on instagram, just to show to Jaemin.

"Engaged to Sungjae." Jeno answered that one, Sungjae being one of his acquiantances.

"Oh, I know this girl from Busan--"

"Can we not talk about my fucking love life?! Y'all are just stressing me out, God damn." Jaemin massaged his temples, just wanting a breather. Before he went here, he already had an argument with Yeri.

"Chill, man. Fine.. jeez. Just wanted you to know your options." Haechan looks away and shrugged his shoulders. To be fair, his intent was truly innocent. They just wanted their friend to live a happy life.

As per Jaemin's wish, they moved on and changed the topic to something else. After a few drinks, Jaemin started to let loose.

He wondered about a lot of things. One of which is on how he ended up here. Stuck in a relationship he doesn't really want anymore. Seeing his friends and how happy they are really hits something inside Jaemin. When will he find that? Will he even find that?

Just like the other nights Jaemin drinks himself to slumber, a few glasses in and he starts to think of something so dangerous yet so good. Something forbidden, something he would probably regret. He thinks of you.

Jaemin's greatest what if. You were like a fever dream, a memory he would cherish forever. No one can compare to the beauty hold. You were Jaemin's drug, so captivating, yet so vicious.

He wondered where you are. Are you doing fine? Are you happy?

Sometimes Jaemin hopes you still think of him. That his relevance in your life, although it was short, still lingers in your mind once in a while.

And the memories you and him had, even though it was temporary, Jaemin wishes it was enough for him to believe that you'll meet again.

Jaemin met a lot of pretty girls. All of them, actually. Yeri, despite her frowned upon attitude, was actually beautiful. That's what drove Jaemin to ask her out in the first place. He just wasn't aware of the other things that comes with it. No one can deny the beauty that Yeri holds, and even tho it contrasts his friends opinions, they know that Yeri is still one of the prettiest girl Jaemin had.

But was she the most gorgeous? No. Because there was you. They all fall behind, after you.

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

The first time he saw you was at the school's cafeteria. You're an art student which he could clearly tell from the messy pencil on your bun as you ate with a friend at the back of the canteen. He knew that friend, Jeonghan, because.. he might've slept with his sister. He still couldn't remember tho, he was stupidly drunk that time.

"Who's that with Jeonghan?" Jaemin asked, still his eyes not leaving your face. As corny as it sounds, everyone's faces blurred out when he saw you.

"That's Jiho's bestfriend? I think? Wait, isn't Jiho that one chick you banged last week?" Haechan, the resident insider was the one to answer. Jaemin mentally cursed himself. You're Jiho's bestfriend. Usually that doesn't matter to Jaemin but somehow he felt some sort of guilt into taking an interest with you. Inevitably, you'll know what happened with Jiho and Jaemin, and you'll definitely see Jaemin as this asshole who slept with your bestfriend.

"Everybody knows that he slept with her, dude." Jeno chimed in, smirking.

"More like, everybody heard." Renjun followed, which earned a hefty laugh from his group of friends. Usually, Jaemin would respond with a strong punch in the arm but he was still in a dilemma on how he should approach you without giving off an asshole vibe in him.

Jaemin came up with a plan. Not a good one, but still, a plan. He would casually pass the Arts building, specifically where you usually hang out which was at the Art studio at the top floor, (don't ask him how he found out-- he has his ways) and just ask you where the exit to the building is since he never really got around this part of the university.

His plan sounded good, and just to be assured, he asked Haechan. Which wasn't a very good choice but the way Haechan got around the girls in the university, he deserved some credit. In typical Lee Haechan way he responded, "That'd totally work, dude. I don't know how that would go wrong."

Well, Jaemin now know how it would go fucking wrong.

As the plan goes, he reaches the top floor of the building and walked towards the Art studio at 5pm, because according to his sources, you like to stay after class to do your project on the Art studio. Again, don't ask Jaemin how he got those information. Which is proven to be credible, because he did find you sketching on a canvas by yourself. He could hear a faint music playing on the studio as you sketch, which Jaemin could tell was a portrait of a lady.

He cleared his throat, as he opened the door. Just like in his script, he spoke,

"Hey, uh, excuse me? I've been finding the exit from this building and uhm, I just can't. Can you-- uhm," Okay, fine, Jaemin did fuck that one up. But how can he not, when you turned around so majestically with the golden sunray perfetcly hitting your face which gave Jaemin a full view of your beauty?

"Na Jaemin? What the hell are you doing here?" You stood up, walking towards the speaker and turned it off.

"You know me?" Jaemin asked a dumb question. Everybody knows who he is. He's a fucking famous-- wait, no, he's just famous for fucking. That's it.

"Jiho and all the other girls around this place can't stop talking about how big your dick is, so I'd like to think I'm familiar with you, yes." Sarcasm fit perfectly with you, Jaemin thought. Although, he did not expect you to be this harsh given your soft exterior, nonetheless, he still found you pretty.

"Uh, that's uhm-- not the point, I need to find the exit." Stick to the plan, stupid. Jaemin had thought.

What surprises him even more was your sudden burst of laughter. What's so funny? Embarassment started to fill Jaemin, finding the whole situation dumb and stupid. Why are you laughing at him? This is the first time Jaemin felt this. Usually, girls are all over him, why are you laughing at him like he's some stupid idiot?

"Do you realize that if you're trying to find the exit, you go down the building, not the top floor?" At that exact moment, Jaemin wanted to bury himself alive.

--

"Dude, I didn't think you would fumble this bad." Jeno couldn't hold his laughter after Jaemin told him what had occured in the Art studio. There was only Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin in the dorm today, Haechan was steering out of Jaemin's view eversince he received a threat from his friend, quote, 'I'm gonna burn your hair off your scalp, Lee Haechan'

"You just turned around and left? Are you serious?" Renjun was more like dumbfounded. He expected more from Jaemin, being infamous in their little friendgroup for being a lowkey manwhore. He could not believe Jaemin could act so-- foolish?

"I didn't know what to say or do, bro. This is Haechan's fault, fuck!" Jaemin looked like a prepubescent teen screaming into his pillow. A couple leg-flailing and he'd successfully portray a thirteen yearold boy.

"This one's on you. You know damn well Haechan could pull that shit off with his over confident ass. Whats with this girl anyways?" Jeno asked, with little to no care about whatever Jaemin answered. He already knew you were Jaemin's type.

"You know Jaemin and his thing for innocent girls, Jeno. Are you not with him for the last seven years?" Renjun stated, which Jeno just nodded and shrugged.

"But the way she shut you down, I wouldn't say she's too innocent." Jeno had the other two thinking. Yes, with your soft brown hair and cute features, especially your love for art, you look like the stereotypical good girl that captured Jaemin's eyes. But your encounter says otherwise. No good girl can resist Na Jaemin. Everybody knows that.

Na Jaemin, contrary to his friend's beliefs, is the recent most popular man in his school. All of them were, but every student that knows him, (which is everyone) Na Jaemin is number one in his little friendgroup. He's the perfect balance between a player and a charmer.

Nobody hated the guy, they all liked him. Had the title of Prom King for four consecutive years, and has a squeaky clean reputation. Oh, don't get him wrong tho, he's a manwhore, still. Its just that every girl he has been with doesn't have any bad thing to say about the guy. He's got a great dick and even better personality. Word got around that even guys wouldn't mind if he slept with their girlfriends. That's how loved Jaemin is around the campus. He has a way with words, that once Jaemin calls quits on a girl, that girl would even say "Thank you."

Jaemin likes to think he's just being nice, but Haechan calls him a professional manipulator and gaslighter. Which if you do see it in a technical way, Jaemin's sweet words does affect the way girls interpret his intentions. Because in all honesty, he's just fucking and ghosting. But with a couple of I'm sorry's or Sweetheart's or maybe even a little bit of 'You don't deserve a man like me,' Jaemin easily could bounce out everytime.

"Also, why have we not heard about her? I mean, a face like that? Its impossible that she hadn't shown Haechan's radar." Renjun stated. Its true, it does feel weird that none of them knew who you were, specially Haechan. He's quite literally the hot girl radar and you definitely qualified as one. Its rate that Haechan never made a move on you, or even talked to you.

"Maybe she's really weird or has like a third nipple." Jeno sounds genuine, which was even worse. Jaemin couldn't help but question how is this man his best friend.

"Can you not be a twelve year-old?" Jaemin, as he threw a cushion over Jeno's side.

"Anyways, let's go back to Jaemin being a stupid idiot,"

--

["You got it?"] Renjun's voice was heard through the phone.

"Yes, you bitch. Now once I get home, I expect my beer and chicken laid in my table perfectly, or I'm burning your book." Its almost 7pm and almost everyone had already left the campus but Jaemin. Renjun had asked him to fetch his book from a friend, because Jaemin is the only one staying in the campus this late. For the reason being, well, he had a little make out sesh after his last class with Jiho.

Jaemin wasn't intentionally doing it just to spite you, its just Jiho was a great kisser. And maybe to get information about you, just a little. But that did not happen because he did not have the chance to actually talk to her about you as his mouth was a little preoccupied.

As he walked through the hallway, a door suddenly opened, which revealed you, hair dishevelled and your shirt was wrinkled. He knew that posture too well, out of all people, he's the one most familiar of it. You just did the nasty with someone.

In the school grounds? Jaemin scoffs. He was about to approach you when another body also came out of the room.

No way. No fucking way! Jaemin's eyes went wild, his jaw slowly parts as he saw who it was. He quickly hides behind one of the lockers to avoid you seeing him, only peeking his head a bit to confirm what he just saw.

Nurse Suh. You're sleeping with the school nurse. Jaemin was utterly shocked, as he contemplated on what he should do next. You're definitely not the innocent and soft girl he thought you would be, you're so far from it. And as far as he knows, Nurse Suh has a girlfriend! And not to mention, it's illegal!

"Nurse Suh?!" The three of his friends couldn't believe it either. Jaemin just could not keep the information to himself. He knew he could trust his friends.

"I mean, yes he's hot but isn't he like 34?" Jeno questioned.

"Dumbass, he's only 27. Him and my older brother are friends." Haechan said, then quickly looking back at Jaemin.

"And she's what, 22? I don't see anything wrong here." Haechan shrugged. Of course, out of all of them, Haechan would find this situation fine. He had slept with a teacher before, and called it his 'great awakening'.

"He has a girlfriend, you fucking idiot." Renjun said, hitting Haechan in the back of the head.

"So? You gotta do what you gotta do, man. Honestly, if I was Nurse Suh, I would tap it too." Followed by a playful chuckle, Haechan got another slap in the back of the head, this time, from Jeno.

"Stop hitting me! I need to protect my braincells, I need to pass the test tomorrow, you assholes." Haechan whined, massaging his head.

"Wait, Haechan, did you not know her before?" It was Jaemin's turn to ask, genuinely curious on why Haechan never made a move on you.

Haechan is basically like Jaemin, but even more evil. Sure, they're both manwhores but Jaemin leaves nicely. As to Haechan, he would leave without saying a word and pretend to not know you the next day. While Jaemin would receive love letters, Haechan receives death threats and some hex put on him. Its not like he's bad in bed, because if he is, he wouldn't be able to get his dick wet as frequent as he is now. It's because Haechan does not care for people's feelings.

"I did, I know who she was." Haechan shrugged. All three of them looked at him.

"Why didn't you.. like... tell me about that?" Jaemin's voice was small, a bit shy with what he just said.

"Because It's kinda funny when you get turned down." Haechan had a smile on his face whilst he said it. Jeno shook his head and Renjun just scoffed.

"Please tell me you're joking." Renjun. The boy laughed even more louder while shaking his head and before he knows, a flying cushion came straight to his face. But it didn't stop Haechan from smiling like an idiot.

"You know what's ridiculous, Haechan? That fucking faded out starwars shirt, because I'm gonna make you eat it you fucker!--" Jaemin fought back, reaching out for his friend but Haechan quickly moved away from him

"I'm sorry, Jaeminnie-- but I did try to flirt with her but she's cold as ice, man. And you all know how persistent I am so when me, Lee Haechan, gave up on a girl, you know that girl's impossible. And I heard that she never dates, well, I guess now I know why." Haechan explained himself but Jaemin is still annoyed and pissed.

"So you just let your friend get his ass handed to him? You should've told Jaem, man." Jeno.

"Admit it, It's kinda funny when Jaemin gets rejected. I mean, it almost never happens. And the one time it did, we're not even there to witness it." Haechan keeps smiling, pissing off Jaemin more, but his mind is else where.

---

"I had to say, I'm surprised you called me twice this week. Am I finally cracking your fuckboy code, Na Jaemin?" Jiho had a smirk on her face when he approached Jaemin at the closed off audiotorium in the science building.

"Can you sit down first?" Jaemin scooted a bit and gave space for Jiho to sit down. He has a whole different plan today, and although inviting the girl in his usual makeout spot almost always leads up to them hooking up, this time Jaemin is persistent on asking Jiho about you.

"This is weird. Aren't you taking my skirt off?" Jiho hesitantly sat beside the boy, expecting a kiss but instead, Jaemin has his brows furrowed and seemed bothered

"What? No. Not now. I just want to ask you something." Jaemin turned his body facing Jiho.

"You're being weird." Jiho leaned away a bit, still confused about the whole situation.

"You know y/n?" Jaemin goes straight to the point. Jiho had a visible shock in her face. She never expected your name to pop out from anyone's mouth, and especially not Jaemin's.

"Yes? Why?" Slowing her words, she inspected Jaemin's features.

"Nothing. Why haven't I seen her before?" The question Jaemin is most interested about.

"She's never gonna be interested with you, or anyone. Leave her alone." Jiho suddenly stood up, turned around and walked away as fast as she can, but not as fast as Jaemin.

Before she could even leave the auditorium, Jaemin got a hold of her wrist. "Why are you this weird about her?"

"I know you think you can woo her because you're Na Jaemin and you're a fucking playboy or some shit, but I'm telling you, not even as your hook up buddy, she's worse than you. So I suggest, as your friend, stay. away. from y/n."

---

"This is totally not weird. Yeah sure, I mean, we're just following a random girl walking down the street. Totally not weird." Renjun for one was scammed into doing this. Jaemin asked him to go with him and go buy some pants in the mall for a promise for Haidilao afterwards. Ofcourse Renjun is gonna agree, because he would never pass a free hotpot.

What Jaemin failed to say is that he has a little side quest on his itenirary for today. For someone who's unbothered most of the time, Jaemin is going insane thinking about the mystery that is you. And Jiho's outburst absolutely did not help at all.

"We're not following her. We're just y'know... happens to be in the same way as her." Jaemin knew what he was saying was bullshit, and that Renjun would never believe a word he says. But he would never admit that he's letting someone go and do cartwheel on his mind for almost two weeks now.

"Except we can't walk more than ten feet closer and we've been turning in the same corners as her for about thirty minutes." Sarcasm did not need to be noted.

Jaemin didn't listen and continued walking the same direction as you. This is definitely out of his character, but he has to know you. He's been intrigued enough to actually make an effort to atleast know who you were.

Suddenly, you turned left, into a busy cafe. "You promised me Haidilao, Na Jaemin. Not coffee!" Renjun started being a little irritated. He's hungry, exhausted and disappointed from Jaemin's fake promises. He doesn't need coffee right now, and hell, he's not gonna sit inside a cafe when he could have hotpot right now!

"Jesus, shut the fuck up!" Jaemin dug into his pocket and reached for his phone, typing for a minute and Renjun felt his own phone vibrated.

"Nice. I'll see you later, Sherlock Holmes." Jaemin sent Renjun money for hotpot, which quickly shifted the boy's mood.

"You're useless!" Jaemin yelled as Renjun walked away. "You love me!" Renjun replied with a smile as he skips away.

Jaemin hesitated a bit if he should enter the cafe. Is it too much just to suddenly show up where you are? No. This is the townsquare, students from his and your school are frequents here. It's not gonna be weird. Right, definitely.

The cafe is full packed, quite a line forming. There seems ro be no tables available, but Jaemin still decides to go inside. But as soon as he steps inside the cafe, his feet turned ice cold.

"Alright! I know, I'm sorry!" He sees you hurriedly putting on your apron, as another man seemingly upset with you. He quickly steps into the line of customers, and he just hopes that once he's on the counter, you would be the one serving him.

Jaemin thought he had time to calculate how he's gonna approach you, but the line was quickly moving, and he swear, he's fucking nervous. What if you didn't remember him? Or find him weird for being here?

As the last one in front of him turned to leave, he's finally infront of you. Unfortunately, you weren't looking and focused on the monitor in front of you.

"Uhm," he cleared his throat, trying to get your attention.

"What can I get you, sir?" Your customer service voice was obvious, and quite frankly, annoying. You smiled brightly at him, which he deemed so fake.

"Iced Americano, small." Jaemin's voice was deeper than usual, partly because he's nervous, and maybe because he wanted a cool guy impression.

"You literally followed me here just to get a small americano?" The humour in your voice makes Jaemin embarassed. Wide eyed, Jaemin feigned confusion, not wanting to be caught in 4k.

"I wasn't following y-you?" One thing Jaemin was bad at, was definitely lying. The way he stuttered at his last word says so.

You fought a smirk, again, leaving poor Jaemin feeling so little. "Sure, and the gravity isn't real."

"I swear, I'm not--"

"I'm on a break by 6:30. One small americano, right, sir?" You smiled at him, and Jaemin can fucking feel it. His heart skipping a beat.

"Make that large."

----

His drink already warm, ice all melted into one bland coffee, Jaemin started to feel pathetic. He's been sitting here, on the side of the cafe for almost three hours. He's realizing how stupid he is for doing all of this for someone who's not even that... special. He doesn't know you. You're pretty, yes, but there's always gonna be another girl who's prettier. Maybe its his dick thinking and doing the decisions earlier, but Jaemin saw his entire reputation go so far down if anybody knew he waited for you for three fucking hours. He never knew he could do all of this for a pussy he can easily get with other girls who would even beg for him.

Simmering in his own thoughts, Jaemin huffs and almost stood up to leave, Until he saw his phone, 6:29.

Shit, only one more minute wouldn't hurt anybody? No. Fuck her for playing hard to get. I'm Na fucking Jaemin! Who does she think she is?!

Just as Jaemin actually stood up, he saw you walking slowly towards him while undoing your apron, smile on your face making his knees literally weak that he had to sit down again.

"Leaving already?" You asked, sitting in front of him.

"I-I was just... stretching my legs." If his friends are here to hear the words he just said, he might just jump off a cliff.

"Sure. Now, tell me, Na Jaemin-ssi. What the fuck do you want from me?" Okay, now this, Jaemin did not expect this. Your words sounded harsh but your soft voice says otherwise. Being passive aggresive just makes Jaemin confused all over again.

But fuck it, you wanna play hard? Jaemin can do that. His patience wearing thin, he leaned back on the chair and smirked, almost like flipping on a switch in his aura.

"I want to fuck you." Jaemin didn't whisper, or even lower his voice. He said it so casually, and he noticed your confident stare flinch for a bit.

"I would, but I'm afraid you're not my type." Its like you two were having an asshole-off and seeing who's more cockier than the other. Jaemin isn't competitive, but he's not gonna lose this one.

"Don't be silly. I'm everybody's type." Jaemin definitely won by that line. Or so he thoughts.

"Judging from words on the streets, You're a walking STD. I think I'm gonna pass." This time, Jaemin's sure that you're just pissing him off. Maybe this is your way of playing hard to get, but Jaemin likes to play dirty.

"I fuck a lot but I'm clean, and even if that happens, I'm sure your little school nurse friend can help you." Visible shock in your face, its clear that Jaemin pushed your buttons. Your confident facade slowly shaking, as you gulped and blink trying to process what he just said.

But that didn't last long, only seconds after, you pulled back your smirk. "Oh, you've done some research, I see."

"Now come on, pretty girl. What do you say?" He started to feel it. He's cracking your hard shell.

"Are you really good in bed as they say you were?"

"Go on and ask your friend."

---

"Holy f-fuck, J-jaemin.. shit.. slowdown!" Your table aggressively banging as you bent over it, Jaemin mercilessly pistoning you from behind. His pants not even half way down his thighs, the lower hem of his shirt in between his teeth, showing his glistening abs flexing as he thrusts.

His left hand locking both yours behind your back, and his right hand keeping your head on the table, facing your side. Your mesh tights has been ripped, your skirt all the way up your stomach. One by one, your things that was left on the table started to fall on the ground, as Jaemin's aggressive thrusts forcefully moves the table on a rocking motion.

"Shi.. fuck, I'm coming.." Your hoarse voice was prominent, only motivates Jaemin to hit even harder. Only grunts and growls was heard from the boy, his moans blocked by his shirt between his teeth. Jaemin wasn't only fucking you, he's proving a point aswell. To you, and to himself.

He removes his hands from your head, allowing you to look at him from behind. His free hand brushed his hair backwards, still keeping his tempo. Sweat dripping, his thrusts started to stutter. He then grabbed your face, and pulled you to his chest. Letting go of the shirt in his lips, he whispered, "Come with me, sweetheart."

His hands finding your waist as he felt your walls tighten, an intense whine leaving your mouth as your leg shakes quietly. That triggered his own release, murmuring a few curse words as all his movements halts. Only heavy breathing was heard, everything else dead silent. He slowly pulls out, earning a moan from the both of you.

"That was.." You couldn't even finish, fixing your clothes, quickly sitting at one of your chairs on the table, afraid your knees might give out.

"Intense." Jaemin tucked himself on his pants as he sat down in front of you.

"Not bad," You smirked at him, trying to keep your composure. Jaemin smirked back, proud of himself.

"I thought I wasn't your type?"

"Gotta know what's all the fuss is about. I guess the cat died and curiousity wins." Out of breath, you suddenly picked something on the floor, and Jaemin notices that its a marker that had fell from the table.

"If you wanna do this again," you stared grabbing Jaemin's arms and writing your number on it. "...give me a call, yeah?"

"How about Nurse Suh?" Jaemin didn't wanna sound like a little whiny boy but he had to ask. Is she still going to continue seeing him?

"What about him?" You raised your brows at him.

"Won't he be mad?" Jaemin can see the laugh you held in, before shaking your head.

"We're not in a relationship, and will never be. Same goes to you. We just fuck and go. I'm clean, I hope you are too, and we're not passing the line of being each other's fuck buddy. None of that corny shit, or you're out. I hope you understand, Jaeminnie, you're just a good dick with a pretty face." Your soft face does not match the words you just spilled out. And Jaemin thinks he's hit the jackpot.

No commitments? Just good sex? With you? He thinks he's in heaven. He can't wait to tell the boys about this.

If Jaemin was in the movies, he would've fisted the air and smiled like an idiot.

"Here's to good sex?" Jaemin offers his hand, which you gladly accepted. "Good sex indeed."

---

Jaemin never minded what day it is. Just as long as he did what he needs to do today, he's fine. Tomorrow will have to wait. But eversince you, suddenly he felt impatient and counted the days until he saw you again.

After a few weeks, Jaemin and you saw each other twice a week, mostly Thursdays and Sundays, the days where your schedules matched. Jaemin never knew he would be stuck with one girl for this long, but damn. You're too good. You keep Jaemin on his toes every time he sees you. You were like a gift, waiting to be opened everytime. The excitement and the thrill always feels brand new. And Jaemin would never admit it, but every week, he'd hope the other days go by quickly and wishes it was Thursday again.

"He's smiling like a creep again, Jeno! What the fuck is up with your bestfriend?!" Haechan dramatically hid behind Jeno as Jaemin walked inside their little hang out spot, the old elementay library that became abandoned throughout the renovations.

"He's apparently getting the best pussy in the campus." Jeno shrugged and pushed Haechan away before he plopped himself down the couch.

"You're banging Im Hayeon?" Haechan widen his eyes as he strides towards Jaemin.

"No, dimwit. He's fucking y/n." Renjun, unbothered as usual as he continued drawing in his iPad.

"No way-- no fucking way!" Haechan gasps, grabbing Jaemin's shoulder as he shook it. Jaemin slaps away Haechan's hands and pushed him aside to sit beside Jeno.

"Shut up, Haechan. You're being dramatic." Jaemin pulled out his phone, hoping he would see your name pop up. Surprisingly, nothing but social media notifications greeted him, message requests and follows from people he doesn't know. He checked what time it is, 2:45pm.

Okay. Its still early. She'll text later.

"In all seriousness, dude, do you guys talk? like aside from doing it-- I mean." Jeno's tone was unusual. It's like he's being careful about something, or he wants to say something.

"Yeah? The fuck? D'you think we just fuck and go? Of couse we talk. Why?" Jaemin noticed Jeno's way of talking, turning his whole body towards his bestfriend.

"She tell you something about her?" This time, Renjun and Haechan leaned in.

"Get to the point, man." Jaemin.

"Nah, cuz the girl I was with last night told me that she's really... uh, popular at her previous school." Jeno, knowing the whole context, winced at the word 'popular'.

"What do you mean?" Jaemin's smile when he came here was no longer visible, replacing it with a frown as his brows creased in nervousness.

"I don't know-- man, I think you just... ask her, y'know?" Jeno wasn't comfortable sharing the information he had, but he knew Jaemin needs to know. But he wasn't sure if he's in the place to tell it.

But Haechan did not give a fuck. He's intrigued, and before they knew it, he's deep inside his phone texting someone.

"What are you doing?" Renjun asked.

"Since Jeno is being a pussy and won't share, I'm finding it out." And a second before Haechan could even type another letter, Jeno grabbed his phone away.

"Don't! Don't fucking search it. We should respect her, man. She's still a girl and I heard it was taken down---"

Haechan gasped even louder, even breathing out an "oh my god", He didn't say it out loud but the four of them were thinking the same thing.

"Holy fuck, she has a sex tape?!" Haechan, ofcourse was the first one to break the silence.

And once again, you surprised Jaemin.

---

"I'm famished, god damn." You sat beside Jaemin on your old couch, digging a spoon on your bowl of cereal. Your top barely even buttoned, you started eating a spoonfull after another.

"Slow down, you'll--" before Jaemin even finishes, you caught something in your throat and coughed almost everything in your mouth.

"What did i tell you? Aish-" Jaemin quickly then grabbed the tissue beside the couch and started to wipe your face. He grabbed the bowl from you, putting it aside and wiping some of the milk that had spilled on you.

He then stood up and walked towards your kitchen, as if he owns the place. Next thing you know, he comes back with a glass of water in his hands.

"Thank you," you managed to blurt out in the middle of your coughing and drank the water.

"I thought you didn't have a gag reflex the way you sucked my dick earlier," Jaemin joked, earning a playful slap in his shoulder from you.

"Shut up, movies starting." Jaemin didn't give a single fuck about the movie playing on screen. Haechan's voice keeps ringing in his ear, and as much as he wanted to stay out of it and respect your privacy, something in him wants to know. Its like an itch wanting to be scratched.

"Tom Holland's like the perfect spiderm-- Jaemin?" The boy's trance was interrupted when you call his name. He didn't realize that he was staring off to nothing instead of watching the movie he picked.

"Yeah?" Jaemin blinked thrice before looking at you, your eyes peaked interest as you examined his face.

"You're out of it, what're you thinking?" You paused the movie, moving your body to fully face him.

Jaemin can't wait. He has to know. "Just curious, where did you say your last school is?" He hoped his question wasn't too obvious.

"I didn't say anything?" Okay, hold up. Plan backfired. Fuck!

"What? I-I swear you told me, like, last time? Sacre--"

"Sacred Heart. Yeah. And no, I didn't tell you about it." Like the many times, Jaemin was nervous. Again. You make him so.. unlike himself. What the fuck is it with you?

"Oh, wait, are you sure--"

"You heard about it, huh?" Jaemin couldn't tell if the smirk on your face was a good thing. He doesn't want to fuck this up, and he's starting to think he just did.

"I'm sorry, If you don't want to talk about it--"

"It's fine. It's not that bad. Hell, It could've earned so much if it was uploaded in a porn site, y'know? Stupid Mr. Nakamoto," You chuckled, nonchalantly turning your body towards the screen again, as if what you just said didn't just shocked Jaemin to the core.

The fact that you weren't bothered about it, and even sounded like you're bragging about it wasn't the main thing Jaemin was apalled by. "Mr. Nakamoto?"

You smiled, as if you were reminiscing, "He was my Biology teacher. Couldn't accept the fact that I'm leaving him so he went and blackmailed me with the video, but his phone got stolen and poof, it spread around like a wildfire. If you ask another person tho, they'd just say I spread it myself. You choose what you believe-- I don't really care." And you looked like it too. You did not care, because if you did, you wouldn't just tell all of this to Jaemin.

"Did anything happened to that assho-- Mr. Nakamoto?" Jaemin feels heated. He doesn't know why, but what he knows is he wants to suckerpunch whoever that Nakamoto is.

"Got his license removed, but you know what's even more fun?" You leaned onto him, your lips next to his ear and whispered, "His wife was so devastated her husband had to find someone younger to fuck, she filed for divorce the very next day."

And just like that, Jaemin was left speechless. Again.

---

"Jaem, someone's looking for you." Renjun tapped his friend's shoulder, pointing at the student standing on the door. Jaemin slowly opened his eyes, way too tired to even stand up, and looked who it was.

To his surprise, it was Yoon Jeonghan. He knew this would come sooner or later, since he had a.. thing with his sister for a while. But he never thought that Jeonghan cared, afterall, Jeonghan never talked to him about it.

But oh boy, was he wrong.

"Heard you're fooling around with y/n?" Jeonghan was serious. He wasn't looking at Jaemin, he's just staring ahead. His hands on his pocket, as Jaemin stood behind him, confused.

"Yeah? What about it?" He knew you and Jeonghan were friends, he often sees you with him. But why does this conversation feel more intense?

"And my sister already talked to you about it, right?" This time, Jeonghan looked at him.

"Yeah, she's being weird about it." Somehow, Jaemin wants this conversation to be about Jiho instead of you. He wishes Jeonghan was only after him because of his sister, because then, he knew what to do. But its you. Jaemin never know what to do with you.

"Because she's right. You should stay away from her, man. Just-- a friendly advice, alright?" Jaemin hated how Jeonghan sounded so sincere. What could be so awful about you that even this man, who he never even talked to, warned him about you?

"Dude, not to sound rude, but how the fuck does me fucking around with y/n, your business?" His voice slightly getting sharper, owing to the fact that he hated getting told what to do.

"You're a good man, Na. I'm sure there's more prettier-- even more fucking hotter girls than her. She's not..." Jeonghan paused, almost saying something he would regret, "... good for you. I've known her forever, and she's not the type to be with."

"I know you're older than me, and I mean this with utmost respect, you and your sister should mind your own business. I don't know what she did to you and Jiho, but she's fine. And we're not even together! We're just fooling around! Y'all are so dramatic." With that, Jaemin turned around and left Jeonghan. He sounded so unbothered by all of this, but in all honestly, he's starting to question if there's really a valid reason on why Jeonghan and Jiho was so sincere about you being apparently, a bad person.

The way you laugh at Jaemin, the way you smiled, you tell your stories, and everything Jaemin saw you do, you being a bad person doesn't make sense to him. Sure, you've done some fucked up things but Jaemin never cared about that. You showed him genuine happiness, and Jaemin could never see you in the light that Jeonghan and Jiho painted you out to be.

And just like clockwork, your name popped up in his screen. Just as if everything in the past fifteen minutes never happened, his steps became slightly faster as he grabbed his things. He couldn't be more excited to see you again.

---

"This is pretty." Jaemin pointed out a painting, whilst he dressed himself. You were also doing the same thing, but you looked at where he was pointing at.

It was your artwork from last year. The canvas was leaning beside your dresser, along with other canvasses that you never put up.

"Wonderstruck." you said. You were a bit appalled that Jaemin noticed the only work you were actually proud of. It wasn't even displayed in the front, it was almost entirely covered by unfinished canvasses.

"Wonderstruck? That's its name? It's really beautiful." Jaemin sounded sincere, he really found the painting pretty. It was a couple, sitting by a river on golden hour. Sky was the shade of orange and blue, nighttime seeking in but the sun's still there, laying real low. It was in a middle of a field, lavender flowers scattered around.

It was new to you, men showing interest on something more than your face and body. It sparked something in you, Jaemin knew that with the way you jumped out of your bed, biting your lip, hesitating for a second, "Want to show you something."

"What do you think?" You were standing beside your kitchen table, with a few printed photos of people Jaemin didn't know. It was all in black in white, and all of them showed genuine smiles.

"Cool. Who are they?" Jaemin was adjusting his belt as he scanned every picture. The way you're looking so innocent and fluffy, showing him your photo collection can fool a person into thinking you did not just have mindblowing sex minutes prior. Jaemin stifles a laugh.

You, in your overalls smiled so brightly at him, excited that Jaemin showed interest on your work. "They're random people I saw on the street." You were fidgety, kept on arranging the photos. Looking at Jaemin for any signs of validation. Jaemin thought you were so cute, but he never said it out loud.

"Is it for your project?" Now, Jaemin doesn't have a single clue about the Art department in his school, but he knew it's important for you, so he tried his best.

"No. I just did it." You took one picture and showed it to him upclose. "I just like to see people smiling, you know? There's just something so precious with asking people to smile for you. Because when they do, you can tell that they just feel.. pretty. And I like making people feel pretty." You were so caught up in explaining that you didn't notice how Jaemin was looking at you. And he was thankful you didn't see it.

The way his eyes just expressed a thousand strings of emotions he's afraid to show almost felt dangerous, he didn't want to get caught. But for a moment, he let it happen because he was sure you were focused on something else. All the while he was focused on you. Because while you were explaining how smiling makes people pretty, he was thinking that you didn't need to smile and he's already thinking that you were the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on.

But before you could even looked at him, Jaemin quickly focused his gaze on the photo you were showing him. "That's cool. But I never knew you were into photography aswell. I thought you were into paintings only."

"I'm into art, Jaem. And art comes with different things. Although I like painting more, photography is my second favorite. Here, before you go," Swiftly, you grabbed your polaroid camera and stood beside Jaemin, putting your arms around his shoulder making you stand on your tippy toes, and angling the camera where it could capture you both. Jaemin was caught by surprise but he still managed to smile and pull you tighter.

As soon as the flash disappeared, you removed yourself from him and grabbed the film. "This one's for you, so you could remember who your best sex was." She winked at him and chuckled before going back to rearrange her photos.

Jaemin, on the other hand, his eyes never left your figure. He was in awe, he was amazed, and fuck it, he was wonderstruck. But most importantly, he was fucking scared.

---

The next thursday came, and surprisingly, you didn't call. Jaemin liked to think you were just busy, so he never reached out. There's still sunday, he thought. And even if you didn't reach out this sunday, its okay. It's not like you had to keep the schedule, right?

Besides, Jaemin was busy aswell. He's planning Jeno's birthday. Usually, Renjun and Haechan was the one assigned to planning parties, but Renjun was occupied and Haechan wasn't feeling it. They were still helping Jaemin, its just that Jaemin wanted to throw a party for his bestfriend this time. Also, to take his mind off of you for a bit.

If he wasn't busy and occupied with something, Jaemin might go insane thinking about where you are or why you haven't been calling him. So he initiated.

"How fucking long is your list, Jaemin?" Renjun couldn't believe how long he's been scrolling through Jaemin's list for the party invitations. Yet, he isn't surprised.

"You know you can just announce that you're throwing a party and literally everyone who knows you and Jeno will come, right?" Haechan, laying on the couch scrolling mindlessly on his phone.

"Nah, I don't want some weirdo showing up uninvited." Jaemin pointed out, but he left out another reason. He wanted to waste time on listing names just to get you out his mind even for a short time.

"Well don't forget about Jisung's best friend." Haechan smirked.

"Jeno's brother's bestfriend? That's weirdly specific, bro." Jaemin added, shrugging his shoulders. Still, he wrote it down.

"A little birdie told me that Jeno has a thing for his brother's bestfriend." Haechan chuckled, fixing his glasses.

"What? How come I never knew that?" Jaemin asked. He's Jeno's best friend and an information like this would surely come up. Yet its the first time he's heard of this.

"That's because you're so far up that mystery y/n girl's ass you're starting to look like anal beads, bro." Renjun winced at Haechan's choice of words, but then again, he's used to it.

"I'm not, dude. I'm here most of the time, aren't I?" Jaemin looked at Renjun for validation, but he just rolled his eyes at him.

"He's actually right, Jaemin. You're whipped." Renjun added, smirking.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm literally here in front of you guys, on a thursday, which I'm supposed to be with her-- but I'm not because she didn't call-- but also because I want to be with you ass--"

"The more you talk, the more you prove our point. You're fucking whipped, Na Jaemin." Haechan sat down properly, playfull shoving Jaemin to provoke him. Jaemin just hit Haechan's hands away but that didn't stop the boy from annoying him.

"Think of it, dude. You went through two months with her-- only her. Two months-- dude. That's fucking bizarre for you. It's either that pussy was gold, or-- just like what we're saying, your ass is whipped." Haechan was pissing Jaemin off, not because he doesn't agree, its because he does. And admitting that would just fuck up everything you two have.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You guys are tripping, big time. I'm not whipped." Lies tasted bitter in his mouth. He might just be whipped.

He walked out of their hangout room, and just as he opened the door, his eyes widen. You were there, standing with your messy bun, clueless eyes and a box in your hand.

"H-hey?" Jaemin was caught offguard, as he closed the door behind him.

"That room looks like it stinks."

Jaemin chuckled, it does. "Mostly of weed and old furniture. What's up?"

"I,- uh, baked some cookies. Just-- y'know, wanted you to have some." You awkwardly raised your box of cookies to present them to Jaemin, and it takes so much of him not to melt on the spot.

"Thank you," Jaemin resisted the urge to call you 'baby', mostly because he didn't know if he was allowed to do it outside your apartment.

"Tell you what-- why don't we eat it together?" Jaemin.

"I'm free until 4:30?"

"Cool, we can go to the garden, there's barely any student there."

Jaemin smiled and grabbed you by your wrist. "But I know a much more cooler place."

"Really? Where?" Jaemin stopped, and it was your turn to hold him by the wrist.

Jaemin didn't ask, he just let you drag him anywhere. You could take him to a lion's den, he wouldn't care. Anywhere is fine with him as long as you're there.

After climbing on a flight of stairs, Jaemin noticed that you two ended up on Art department building's rooftop.

He hasn't been in here, and it was.. interesting. It looks like any other rooftop, messy and full of unused class chairs, except there was a spot where there's an old couch, just like what they have on their hangout spot. There's a random mini refrigerator and a lamp-- thats it.

"This is my super secret place. Be greatful I let you in here." You squinted your eyes at Jaemin as you patted the seat beside you, basically asking him to sit.

Jaemin did so, and looked ahead. He can see the entire school campus in here.

"This is pretty." He whispered.

"Much better than your stinky room, huh?" You bragged, opening a can of cola that you have on the mini fridge.

"Hey, how come you have that? We requested to have one but the stupid school didn't let us."

"Oh, this little guy? Johnny helped me with it." You smirked, tapping the blue mini fridge.

"Johnny?" A new name in Jaemin's books. Who's Johnny?

"Nurse Suh? His name is Johnny Suh, you didn't know?"

"I didn't." His vibe went a bit south, but he didn't let that spoil your moment together. It was rare for you to approach him in school, and he wanted to have that moment.

"This is good, damn." Jaemin munched on the cookies you got for him and it was honestly tasty. Better than any other cookies he had before, or maybe he was biased and his judgement was greatly affected by the fact that you made it. Eitherway, the cookies are delicious.

"I only made one batch and even that was too much for me. I wanted to give some out but.." you paused. "Funny, you're the only one I had in mind."

"Nurse Suh?" Jaemin didn't even know why he brought the guy up again, but he did.

"Nah, we don't do that." You smiled.

"And we do?" A tinge of hope sparked in Jaemin, that maybe he had some difference between him and Nurse Suh. Maybe you do treat him more special. A guy can dream, can't he?

"Sure, we do. I mean, I can't just throw away this exceptionally good tasting cookies, can't I? And you're the only one I have right now.. so."

Jaemin was enthusiastic. He felt like he won something. He can't help but smile even more, but also, he felt bad. When you said he was the only one you have, he thought about Jiho and Jeonghan.

"What about the Yoon siblings?"

You let out a humourless chuckle, more like a scoff. "Jiho doesn't talk to me anymore and Jeonghan.. well. It's complicated."

"I swear I just saw you two eating at the cafeteria." Heck, that's how he found out about you. Because you were sitting at the cafeteria beside Jeonghan.

"He just sat with me because he felt bad I was eating alone. Also I barely go down there to eat-- so he kinda just.. I don't know. Let's not talk about them anymore, Jaem."

---

"Look at me, baby." Jaemin whispered, softly grabbing your jaw to turn your head towards him. He has you on your side, holding your right thigh up as he slowy thrust. He can see that you're near, and damn, he can feel it too.

"J-jaem.." You start shaking, as your entire body give out. Looking into his eyes, his own pleasure wasn't on the table anymore, he just wants you to feel good. He can safely say that you are indeed the prettiest when you cum, and he's glad he can see you this way.

"That's right, sweetheart. Let go for me, will you?" This was very different on how you usually do it with him. You were usually intense, rough and fast, but something about tonight feels more... passionate. Jaemin never went any faster than his current tempo, yet he still hits every spot. Slow and deep, while he looks at your face, admiring the beauty he's glad he had the priviledge to see.

"Kiss me, Jaemin." You didn't even have to ask twice, Jaemin already dipped his head lower to reach your lips, tasting you while your walls tightens, your whimpers covered by his own lips, you just came.

Once Jaemin pulls away, he pulls a few strings of hair strands away your face to see you. Your eyes glistening, and not long when you let a tear drop. Jaemin could never wish for anything more than this.

"You're so beautiful, y/n." He whispered, more to himself, than to you.

"Thank you." You softly answered, smiling at him and giving him another kiss. Jaemin then let go of your thigh, instead wrapping his arms on your waist. It seems like you got the idea that he's near his climax so you positioned yourself in a way that he gets more of you, sticking your backside out more thus facing away from him.

"No, no, princess keep looking at me." Jaemin whispered and you followed, facing him again.

"You gonna cum for me, baby?" You asked sensually. His thrust slightly getting deeper, but never faster. His eyes went back and forth with both of your eyes as he nodded.

"For you, my love." He mumbled. His jaw slightly ajar, brows furrowed as he let out a deep moan, abruptly staying still and you felt his release warming up your walls.

"You did so good, Jaemin. So, so good." Your compliments just adds to his pleasure. Shivers ran down his spine, he manages to calm himself after his intense climax.

"You're so good to me. I lik--" Before Jaemin finishes, you pulled away from him.

"I'm taking a piss." You said, forcing yourself to stand up and walk your way to the bathroom.

And just like how he felt so good seconds before, it suddenly got washed away with the feeling of dismay. He can't believe he just attempted to say that. Fuck. Running his hands on his face, he mentally curses himself for being wreckless.

You were still in the bathroom when Jaemin heard a few knocks. He's confused, grabbing his phone to look at the time.

9:47pm. Who could visit you at this time?

He grabbed his boxers and quickly putting it on, as well as his shirt but he didn't bother to make himself presentable. He opened the door and his eyes widen.

"Nurse Suh?" He eyed the tall man, and the guy eyed him too. Both of them are confused as to why the other is standing where they are.

"Na Jaemin? What the hell are you doing here?" Johnny wasn't even sure why he was asking that, it's clear with Jaemin's shuffled hair and obviously--- him in his boxers.

"I'm sure you know the answer to that." Jaemin sounded rude, but he does not give a shit. Nurse Suh poses as a threat to him and your-- uh, situationship -- and Jaemin doesn't have a reason to be nice to him.

"Where is she?" Johnny's voice was full of concern, as he looked past the younger boy just to get a glimpse inside your apartment. That's until Jaemin steps outside, and closing the door behind him.

"What do you want from her?" Jaemin looks at him, and although the guy was taller and has a bigger built, again, he doesn't care.

"I'm sure you know the answer to that." Johnny's tone and him mocking Jaemin pissed him more. Letting out a huge breath, Jaemin looked at him straight in the eyes.

"You know-- you're whole relationship with her is fucked up, right?" Johnny was surprised on how Jaemin just turned off the calm facade. He didn't expect him to be triggered like this

"What relationship? You out of all people should know she doesn't do relationsh--"

"Yeah, whatever. You can't fuck around with her anymore, man. You're a fucking school staff, and she's a student. Also, you have a fucking girlfriend. I don't know how you're okay with this."

"The same way she's okay with it. Look, kid," Johnny closed his eyes and massaged his temples, he continued. "... me and her, we've been through some shit. Shit that you can't handle. But I know.. man, you care for her. And I don't want to hear your bullshit, you do care for her. And I do too. But she's not the kind to be with, y'know? She's gonna ruin--"

"Fuck! You weren't the only one who fucking told me that. I don't know what she did to you, but she's fine with me. If you think of her as this fucking tragedy on legs, then maybe you don't really care, don't you? But I do. So get off my fucking ass and don't see her again. Or I'm gonna have to report you." Jaemin didn't know where all of his words came from, but it did feel good. He doesn't think about the consequences of everything, but one thing's for sure. He's not gonna let anyone talk shit about you anymore.

Johnny, tho, never flinched. Instead, he smirks and even let out a chuckle. "You've got some nerves, kid. Okay. I'll back off. But don't come running back when she breaks you." he then turned around and got ready to leave, but a few steps in, he turned to Jaemin again.

"...oh, and tell her Happy birthday."

Jaemin stood there for a minute, watching Johnny leave. It's your birthday? How come you never said anything?

After a few deep breaths, he went inside the apartment again. Just in time when you walked out the bathroom, hair all wet and with a set of new pajamas.

"You done?" Jaemin approached with a smile.

"Yeah. You wanna take a shower?" You looked up at him. He shook his head as he patted your head. "You hungry?" he asked.

You smiled even more, looking up at him expectantly, "Please?"

"Okay. I'll go get us some food, alright? You don't worry your pretty little head." Jaemin gave you a kiss on the top of your head before getting his pants and keys, walking out of the apartment.

Not even half an hour, Jaemin came back. Not only with takeout, but also a bento box. You looked at him kind of confused on what it is, but when he opened it, your eyes widen. It was a small cake that he bought on the convenience store. He wanted a much more expensive one but he also wants to get back to you as soon as possible.

He then pulled out a small candle, sticking it onto the cake. Pulling out a newly bought lighter, and lighting the candle. "Happy birthday, princess. Make a wish." He smiles softly at you.

When all of this was happening, you didn't say a thing. You just looked at him with your glassy eyes, your mouth slightly apart. You blinked hard and fast before finally tracing back to yourself, "I'm.. how did you know?" you asked.

"Doesn't matter. Now come on, candle's burning out." Thats when you looked down on the candle, quickly closing your eyes, clasping your hands together as you thought hard about what you're wishing. Seconds after, you opened your eyes and blew on the candle.

Jaemin was still smiling, setting the small cake aside to give you a kiss on your forehead. He was surprised when your arms wrapped around his waist.

"Why do you have to make me so happy, Jaem? You make it so hard. So hard." You whispered, but Jaemin heard everything. He desparately wanted to answer, because he had an answer. And its something he's afraid to tell you. Because the result was uncertain. Its either it goes perfectly well, or he lose you. And he's not gonna take that risk.

So instead, he just returned your embrace, but even more tighter, giving you another kiss on your forehead. "I don't know." he answered quietly, lying to you and to himself.

"You're a good person, Jaem. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Your vulnerable voice made Jaemin feel warm. In a way, you sounded truthful. You felt genuine.

"You're lucky, then." Slowly, Jaemin. Lay it on her slowly.

"I can't have you." Your bitter smile showed.

"Why not?" Every second counted, every breath you take suddenly mattered.

"I can't do that to you," With a shaking voice, you buried your face in his chest even more.

"I don't understa--"

"Just shut up, shut the fuck up and let me have this." And with that, Jaemin never muttered another word. Instead, he just held you closer like this was the last time he gets to do so.

"Jaem?" You looked up at him, Jaemin looked dow n at you with his eyebrows up.

"I'm sorry." You said. And Jaemin didn't want to ask why you were apologizing, he doesn't like to know the reason behind it. Because he doesn't want you to give him a reason why he needs to forgive you about something.

---

"I think I'm inlove with her."

"Ya think?" Jeno, deep inside his phone, seems like he's stressed about something. Never minding his best friend's struggle, because everybody already knew Jaemin was inlove with you. It's not new information.

"Fuck! Shit!" Both their heads turn as they saw Renjun ran inside their hangout spot and closed the door.

"Hell is wrong with you?" Jaemin asked, but Renjun ignored him and proceeds to lock the door.

"Why's everybody so weird today?" Jaemin mumbled.

It is a very weird day for Jaemin. Somehow, he feels like something's not right. Well, yeah, his undying love for you was one thing he was stressed about but there's more, today's not like every other day, he thought.

That goes on for the rest of his morning. Its like he's waiting on something to happen, like everybody was so tense. You didn't text or call either, which was feeding onto Jaemin's paranoia. It's not like he's being clingy, but he's genuinely feeling something unsettling in his chest.

Maybe it was the coffee he had this morning, or maybe the fact that he's never had this dilemma about a girl before.

So, finally giving up his pride, he texted you.

4:50pm jaemin: wya

4:52pm jaemin: heyy

4:58pm jaemin: ??

You not answering definitely did not help. So, the next big thing he can come up with was go to your apartment. Not a smart choice but Jaemin never once claimed to be smart.

Once he took a step towards your door, for a moment. Jaemin regretted going here. He can see that your lights are on, and can hear shuffling inside. But fuck it, he's already here.

He thought you had someone over, maybe Johnny, or someone else. That made him heated. But the closer he was on your front door, he heard yelling-- and another voice, which he could tell was from a girl.

The door was ajar-- and once he was right infront of it, he could hear everything.

"Y/N! Please! Not him-- he's a good person. You know that!" He confirmed that it was Jiho who was arguing with you.

"I don't care what you feel, Jiho. Get the fuck out of my apartment!"

"Leave Jaemin alone--" Once Jaemin heard his name, his feet froze on the spot.

"Why the fuck are you so nosy? Is it because I stole your little Na Jaemin? Then go ahead! Get him back! But, oh-- newsflash, he doesn't want you anymore. Washed up and used--" The sound of a slap made Jaemin finally interfere. He walked up inside your apartment and saw you holding your cheek and Jiho crying. Both of them looked at him shocked.

"What are you doing here?" Jiho was the first one to speak, but Jaemin's eyes were focused on you.

"Did you just hurt her?" Jaemin was angry. The sight of your cheeks red and the fact that he knows Jiho just slapped you didn't sit right with him.

"Didn't you heard what she said?! Didn't you fucking understand what kind of person she is?" Jiho cried even more, she couldn't believe that someone as sweet as Jaemin would side with the most vile person she knows.

"Doesn't give you the right to hurt her." Jaemin threw all his principles away at this point. He doesn't care anymore.

"You're poisoning his mind, Y/N!" Jiho shouted, which you just smirked at her. Jaemin can't find the warmth inside your eyes, he just saw something empty.

"I didn't do shit, Jiho. Maybe you should just learn how to get out of my fucking trail. Or should I do something? Should I break your brother's heart for the second time?" Jaemin didn't know this version of you. Its like you've thrown away every emotion you have just to spite everyone.

"Don't you fucking dare." Jiho attempted to step towards you again but Jaemin put himself in between you and Jiho.

"Just go, Jiho." Jaemin calmly said.

Jiho didn't say anything, and let out a huge puff before walking out of the apartment, sobbing. She slammed the door shut and quickly the room went silent. None of you dared to talk for the first couple of minutes.

"I didn't want you here," you started.

Jaemin didn't say anything, instead, picking up some things that fell on the floor, trying to fix the apartment. Your paint brushes, your keys, and even some of your photos were on the floor. Must've been a very intense argument.

"Did you hear me, Jaemin? I don't want you here!" your voice strained, Jaemin pretended not to hear you as he continue to clean up the mess.

"Are you hungry? Want me to get you dinner?" Jaemin's voice was as normal as it can be. It doesn't make sense to you. But everything in this situation doesn't make sense.

Jaemin should be mad. Jaemin should go and leave you. Jaemin wasn't supposed to stay.

"Whatever-- do what you want. I'm going to bed."

Jaemin likes to think that in a couple of hours, you'll come up and be in a great mood. Sun shining and all that corny shit. Jaemin was also overly enthusiastic, one that masks with the real thing he's feeling right now. Nervous. Worried.

For a couple of days. Jaemin tried his best to get you out of your apartment because remember, you two are students. You were supposed to go to school. But you never left your bed. And for the first few days, Jaemin didn't go to school too. He was in your apartment day and night, looking after you. This wasn't like you before, Jaemin swears its like you're a whole new different person.

You didn't talk, didn't want to get up, and he knows damn well you aren't sleeping for the past days. You just layed there, emotionless.

He didn't know why he was doing this. You weren't you anymore and Jaemin doesn't know who he was even taking care of anymore. But he's still here. He's still with you.

The third day went and Jaemin is still in your apartment. Ignoring his friends-- and shit, even his mom. He doesn't want them to know why he's MIA for the past few days. He doesn't want everyone to know yours and his business. Whatever happenes between you two, stays between you two.

Jaemin woke up with you sitting on the kitchen. Eyes staring at nowhere, hair dishevelled and bags under your eyes forming.

"Goodmorning," Jaemin said in his sweet voice, careful not to scare you.

"I don't know how many times I should tell you this, but you should go, Jaemin. While I'm being nice." Even your voice sounds like a stranger. The pinch of joy that used to come with your voice were no longer there.

"I will, but I need to make sure you're fine---"

"I'm fine! I don't fucking need you here!" You yelled, Jaemin flinched but still remained calm.

"Are you hungry--"

"Maybe you've become dumb and stupid that you can't comprehend a simple fucking sentence, huh? I'm done with you, Jaemin. I'm sorry but you're useless to me now. I need a new face around here and yours is--"

"You really want me to leave?" Jaemin sincerely asked, like he was tired. Your eyes lifted, and you nodded.

"Yes." Jaemin's lips formed a thin line, his jaw clenched.

"Fine." He calmly walked away-- and convinced he can't take it anymore. He was tired mentally, emotionally and physically. You didn't want to be helped and Jaemin knew he can't handle you.

But as soon as the door shut behind him, his feet stood frozen as he waited. And not even a couple of minutes, the sound of your sobbing on the other side of the door made Jaemin turn his steps.

He was tired, but not fatigued. He knew he couldn't handle you but he can try. You didn't want to be helped but maybe tomorrow you change your mind. And maybe, just maybe, he can take another day.

"Breakfast, y/n. Come on." Jaemin, the fourth day. He went home for a bit, took a shower, but quickly went back to your place. And in his surprise, you were out of bed.

He can hear the faucet running, so he knew you were in the bathroom.

A few moments later, he heard you coming out of the shower. And there you are, hair all wet, freshen up after a few dreadful days and Jaemin was starting to see the color coming back in your skin.

"You feeling better, baby?" He softly asked.

"What are you still doing here?"

Jaemin didn't say anything, instead, giving you the most precious smile he had. "Come on, I cooked pancakes."

"Jaemin, get out. We're done, Jaemin. Get the fuck out!" Tears started forming again in your newly healed eyes, as you pointed out the door.

"I'm not leaving you, y/n." Finally, Jaemin acknowledged the situation.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, huh? When I say we're done, we're done, Jaemin. Can't get that through your thick head?" Words spew like venom, Jaemin starting to feel like he's staring at a stranger. Who is this person in front of him?

"I know you're upset and you haven't eaten a proper meal in days--"

"The fuck do you care?" And with that, you ticked something off from Jaemin.

"Fuck do I care?! Y/N, you've pushed everyone around you away and I was the one who stayed! For days I didn't go anywhere and stayed with you, y/n. Do I care?! Because even if I don't know what the fuck is going on with you I still fucking stayed! So yeah, I'd like to think that I care for you because I fucking lo-- shit!" Jaemin caught himself before actually saying the thing. He knows its a deal breaker if he said it but hopefully, you already felt it.

"Did I ask you to do all of that shit?"

Jaemin can almost feel his heart shatter. You really didn't care about him, or his feelings. He had a little bit of hope. And with a single sentence, you destroyed it.

Jaemin let out a humourless chuckle. "Fine. We're fucking done, y/n."

---

It's been a week and Jaemin's friends started to worry. Jaemin barely ate-- didn't attend his classes and barely got out of their hangout spot. Jeno had a call with his mom and told him that Jaemin didn't once contact them in almost a month. And thats where Jeno knew something was wrong. Jaemin loved his mom-- and he would never ghost her.

"Man, I don't know what to do. He just flicked me off when I offered him ramen." Haechan was serious. You barely see him being this concerned-- but even him, knows something was wrong with Jaemin.

"Is it about that y/n girl?" Renjun asked.

"Probably. I mean, eversince she came into the picture Jaemin basically became a different person." Jeno haven't met you yet, but this, what you're doing to his bestfriend definitely isn't giving a good impression.

"Maybe they're done. If Jaemin's looking like this and haven't mentioned a single thing about her, I think that's what this is." Renjun said, looking at his friend, and his sleeping figure.

"I have an idea." Haechan stood up and huddled his friends, but Jeno and Renjun stepped away. "No, Haechan, you don't."

"What? At least I'm trying to help our friend!" He grabbed both of his friends again, "Anyways-- we should introduce him to another girl. Get him back in the game, y'know?"

"What are we talking about?" The three of them almost jumped when Jaemin was suddenly huddled with them.

"Nothing! We're just thinking about how much booze we're buying for Jeno's party." Haechan's quick wits came into action but Jaemin didn't buy it.

"Stop being weird." He casually walked back to the sofa and plopped himself down again.

Jeno tho, had enough. "You're weird! What the fuck is with this act, bro? You look lovesick or some shit."

"m not doing anything, the fuck are you on about?" Jeno got even more pissed, because Jaemin was blatantly lying.

"That girl you're with is causing trouble, dude. You're barely going to class, we haven't seen you in days, you didn't call your mom in a week and just for her to fuck with the school nurse?" Jeno's still calm, not wanting to escalate the situation. But he figured that Jaemin needs to hear it one way of another.

Jaemin was visibly confused. What did Jeno mean about you with nurse suh? Didn't he already dealt with that?

"Saw her yesterday at the nearby convenience store with Nurse Suh. I don't know, dude but she's not worth all this shit. And I don't even wanna talk about the stuff I heard about her previous school, man." Haechan was a little hesitant about confronting Jaemin, but since Jeno has already started it he's got no choice but to just say it.

"You're out of your mind if you think you have the right to say all that shit. You don't even know her." Every word that Jaemin says was delivered with so much intensity, even the boys were starting to feel uneasy.

"We're just confused Jaem, eversince you met that y/n girl its like you became a whole new perso--" Renjun was cut off when Jaemin let out a scoff.

"Okay, I see what's going on here. If we're airing out our business here then let me have my fucking turn." Jaemin stepped towards Jeno, "You, aren't you shagging your lil bro's bestfriend? Yeah? Guess what, so is half the school."

"Hey, the hell? What's wrong with you, man?" Haechan interfered. He knew the look that Jeno has right now was serious, and he also knew that if he didn't get in between them, chaos will ensue. So he quickly stepped beside Jeno.

"What the fuck do you know about me and her, Renjun? I minded my own business when you went out with your girl out of pity." Jaemin doesn't know where that came from, but it already went out his lips. He wasn't the one to say things like that but somehow it came out. Renjun was fazed, to say the least.

"And you--" Jaemin let out an sigh and smirked, slowly turning towards Haechan. "You talk high and mighty but everybody knows you're a fucking cheater, Lee Haechan. So you, especially you, doesn't have the right to even mutter a thing about her. Because if we're talking about being an asshole, you take the fucking throne." Jaemin's eyes are empty, and so his mind. He just wanted to say anything to get back at his friends without thinking.

"Fuck you, man. Seriously. All this for that girl? You look fucking pathetic, Na Jaemin." Jeno was aggravated and fuming, but he was never gonna go down with violence, specially with his best friend. He knew better.

"It doesn't even fucking matter what you think about her anymore, cuz y'know what? We're done. She doesn't wanna see me anymore. So go ahead and talk shit about her but make sure I'm not in the fucking room next time." The room was silent, they didn't know what to say. Obviously because this was the first time they saw Jaemin like this.

"I think this shit got out of hand, I know you're upset but we're just genuinely concerned, dude." Renjun, now on the much calmer side, tries to difuse the situation.

"Okay, I'm just gonna ignore what you said because I know you're upset, Jaemin. But come on, man, you've met her what? For two months? And you're already losing yourself? I swear if this could be any other girl I wouldn't say anything but man.. she's only trouble. And you can get angry at us all you want but I'm glad you got out of that situation." This side of Haechan was rarely seen, because it only comes out when they need it the most. And for Jaemin, its also rare that he agrees with Haechan but this time, he did.

For the next week, Jaemin tried to bring himself back, and his friends noticed it too. He became active again, going to parties with them and even got back to planning on Jeno's birthday party. There was no sign of you, your name or your presence. Jaemin was starting his old ways again, meeting some girls here and there.

"Hey, what did I tell ya, huh? She's great, isn't she?" Haechan grinned at him, as they walked together.

"Nah, I've had better." Jaemin non-chalantly said.

Haechan looked at his friend, smile slowly getting bigger. "There's the asshole I know, glad you're back to the game, man!" Haechan with his proudest smile, shook Jaemin playfully and but the boy did nothing but chuckle.

His friends were satisfied and pretty much convinced that you were completely out of Jaemin's system. To see Jaemin go back to whatever he was before you, definitely brought back the Jaemin they knew.

"Happy birthday, man! Whew, how does it feel to be an old hag?" Haechan joked as he hugged Jeno, Jeno just playfully pushed him away.

The music was loud and people were starting to fill up Jeno's house. It's his parent's house and they were out of town, as per Jeno's request on his birthday. No one wants to party with their parents, ofcourse.

To say that Jaemin pulled off the party planning was an understatement. It was only 8pm and the party is already packed. Jaemin really outdid himself on this one, also with a little help from Haechan and Renjun.

"Happy birthday, Lee! This party is fucking lit, dude!" Yangyang, from engineering department went and greeted Jeno. "We've got Jaemin to thank for that." Jeno responded loudly, trying to communicate among the loud music.

"Yeah-- where's Na?" Yangyang asked, and Jeno was clueless as him. He knew Jaemin was in the house, he saw him earlier. But after that he never saw him again.

His eyes went around the room to find atleast Haechan or Renjun, and he only found Renjun on the side, in his phone. "He's around, somewhere." Jeno answered, bidding goodbye to the friend and walked across the room to approach Renjun.

"Where's Jaemin?" Jeno managed to ask.

"Upstairs with the girl Haechan introduced him to!" Renjun wiggled his eyebrows at Jeno, and Jeno nodded in agreement. At least he knew Jaemin was having fun.

Little did they know, Jaemin wasn't having fun.

"Come on, Jaemin.. how long does it take?" The girl whispered sexually, kissing his neck like its her last meal.

"Just.. don't talk." Usually it doesn't take Jaemin this long to get hard, but the girl just doesn't do it for him. Its been almost thirty minutes and Jaemin is getting tired, but he also doesn't want to disappoint, so he tries his best to focus on the girl, but he just couldn't.

His phone constantly vibrating doesn't help, so he grabbed it and threw it on the other side of the bed.

Jaemin closed his eyes, felt every single touch and did the worst thing he could ever do to himself. He imagined it was you.

You were touching him, kissing him and giving him warmth. It's you he's with, not this girl, not any girl. Its you. And it worked. It brought back memories of you that sparked something in his body. Small waves of pleasure started. And just as he's slowly starting to function, he heard the door open.

Jaemin's back was facing the door but the girl on his lap can see who just entered. The little mindgames in his head was interupted when the sound of the door brought him back to reality.

"What the fuck? This room is occupied!" The girl with him yelled, completely destroying the fantasy Jaemin created in his head. He's back to square one again, and this time he's not trying again.

As soon as the intruder left, Jaemin lifted the girl off his lap. "Sorry, Cindy, bab--" he can't even call her 'baby'. "--but you need to go."

Jaemin didn't wait for her answer and left her on the bed while he walked and locked himself on the bathroom.

As soon as he knew that the girl had officially left, that's when he went out to his room again. His hands finding his phone, he checked what time it is. 9pm.

Jaemin brushed his hands through his hair, frustrated and strssed.

He ignored the multiple chat that Jeno and Renjun had sent, and went to an food delivery app instead.

Delivery Status: Successful

Items: 1 Full Steak Meal with Pineapple Juice and NY Cheesecake

Total: 80,000krw

Notes: Don't skip a meal :) -J

Jaemin has been sending food to your place for the past week. In exactly 9pm, when he knew you'd usually have your dinner.

The next morning, he woke up fine. He didn't really drink much so he didn't have any sort of headaches or symptoms of a bad hangover.

The house was eerily quiet, as usual, the morning after a very big party.

He was the first to wake up and the whole house was trashed. He didn't expect anything else, ofcourse seeing the amount of people last night.

He knew all four of them was still in the house tho, maybe a couple of girls, so as the designated sober person he took the initiative to prepare breakfast. It was calming for Jaemin to take care of people.

Not long after he heard a couple of footsteps, and of course, it was Renjun.

"Mornin'" Renjun, hair sticking out everywhere, still in his clothes from last night.

"Had fun last night?" Jaemin asked, smirking.

"Didn't you read the texts I sent you last night?" Renjun asked. Jaemin's smirk disappeared.

"What text?"

"Jeno wouldn't want me to tell you this but... she was here. She was looking for you but Jeno and I didn't tell her where you were. She knew that you were here because she told us you invited her a while ago, she looks so.. tired. And then she asked Jisung, who doesn't have a clue with the whole y/n situation so he told her that you were upstairs." Renjun thought that Jaemin needed to know what happened. Jeno thought otherwise.

Jaemin felt his blood drain out of his body. He remembered someone knocking and opening the door to where he was with a girl last night, but he didn't know who it was. Jaemin's heart was racing. He was sure it was you. And he was also sure how fucked up it is to find him like that.

Jaemin didn't say anything, grabbing his keys as he left Renjun thinking if he made the right decision.

"Y/n! Y/n!" Jaemin was knocking on your door with urgency, and after a few, the door opened.

You were there. Standing in front of him but why can't Jaemin find any familiarity?

You were so different. You've lost weight. You're not you-- yet his heart still beats the same. His eyes still found warmth as you looked at him. The smile that left no trace on your face still lingered around Jaemin's memories and for that he still knows that somehow, you're still you.

"Hey." You whispered. You sounded weak.

Jaemin was about to hug you-- confront you about last night but once his eyes left the beauty that is your face, his heart skipped a beat. His body froze, he felt like time stopped.

Your shirt. Your fucking shirt. You're wearing a faded out starwars shirt.

"W-what are you wearing?"

"Oh this? Ah, right! Tell Haechan thank you for last night-" You smiled, the sweetest smile that Jaemin once loved, was now stabbing him in the chest.

"Don't..-- Why are you-- I don't understand.." Jaemin finally broke down, eyes letting go of the tears he held. You're breaking him down-- you're ruining him.

"What? You thought I was better?"

"Y/n.. don't do this to me.." Jaemin whispered. Knees giving out, yet he remained still.

"I don't know what to tell you, Jaemin. I'm everything they told you I would be."

"You're just.. cruel. My friend, y/n? My fucking friend?" In contrast with his cursing, his tone wasn't angry. It was despair.

"Will you leave me now?"

"Did you.. did you sleep with him?" Stupid question.

"I don't know, Jaemin. Did I?"

"You're.. fuck, y/n you're just cruel. Cruel and fucking unfair. Whatever did I do to you?" His voice strained. Drip-drop.

"Do you finally hate me?" Drip-drop.

Drip-drop.

Drip...drop.

"Yeah.. yeah I think I do."

And there it was. The last drop of Jaemin's feelings for you. Congratulations, y/n. You've finally drained him out of love.

---

Three days, Jaemin went off the grid. He stayed with his mom, giving himself a break.

He didn't want to contact any of his friends. At least not for now. He knew he still had that pent up anger towards Haechan, and he don't want to do anything that would result in him being violent. He knew that it was all your plan, just to get him to leave you alone.

What he couldn't understand is why Haechan did it. Haechan knew what Jaemin felt for you, like shit, he knew before Jaemin even knew for himself. He was one of the people who made Jaemin realize his feelings for you.

He wished he had listened to everybody and just left you alone. He wished he took everyone's advice and minded his own business. Maybe all of this wouldn't have happened.

Eventually he had to comeback. His school isn't very much happy with him and its not like its the end of the world. Everything is moving on but him, and nobody likes to be left behind.

As soon as his friends saw him, Haechan froze. He quickly tried and approached Jaemin. "Dude. Where were you? Everybody was looking for you--"

"Don't touch me, Lee Haechan." Jaemin wasn't angry, but he wasn't calm either. His tone is strong and firm, enough to stop Haechan from his tracks.

"Is this about Jeno's birthday?" Jaemin wanted to punch Haechan for even bringing it up. How could he?

"I swear to God if you don't step back--"

"What the hell is wrong with you, Jaemin?" Renjun was the one to interfere this time.

"What's wrong with me? This fucker slept with y/n and you're asking me what's wrong with me, Huang?!"

"Hold up-- hold the fuck up, What do you mean?" Jeno, eyes going back and forth between Haechan and Jaemin.

"She told you we slept together?" Haechan was legitamately confused.

"She was wearing your ugly ass shirt, Haechan."

"Yeah because I lent it to her? She was at the party and I accidentally bumped into her and she got alcohol spilled all over her shirt, Jaemin. So I had to fucking give her a shirt and then she ran away right after. You think I'd do that to you?!" Haechan was fully arguing with him now but Jaemin had remained silent.

Then why did you let him think that you did it? Why would you put him through this? Are you that desparate to make Jaemin hate you?

Jaemin brushed his palm all over his face. He was dumbfounded. He then plops down on the couch, deliberately thinking about the past few days he spent trying to get you off his head. And he thought he was damn near on succeeding, but the sudden information struck him down again.

And just as the tension was slowly coming down, a sudden intrusion on their room made the four of them look at the door.

"He's here? Na Jaemin!" Jiho burst through the door, passing through the three boys who were too caught in the moment to stop her.

"J-Jiho.." Jaemin stood up again, as Jiho stood in front of him.

"What did you do?!" Jiho was frustrated and angry, to say the least.

"Let's calm down," Renjun, the forever pacifist meekly attempted to delute the situation in hand.

"No! I told you, Jaemin! We told you to stay away from her!" Jiho.

"Are you blaming him? Your friend is a pathological liar who likes to play with peopl--" Jiho angrily turned towards Jeno, making the boy stop his rant.

"You're not part of this." Jiho then looked at Jaemin again.

"We're done, Jiho. I don't want her anymore. I don't want anything to do with her--"

Jiho smirked, "She left, Jaemin. She pulled out of school."

The room filled with silence, and it was so loud. Nobody wanted to say anything, partly because they were waiting for Jaemin to react.

"She-- what?" Jaemin was shocked. His body didn't know how to react. Every bones started to feel loose, it was so eerily quiet that it feels like he can count the seconds it takes for his heart to beat again.

Jiho's tears started to flow. "She was sober for six months, you know? We thought we finally fixed her-- she was doing fine. And then you-- you just had to come in and ruin everything."

"I don't underst--"

"I don't want to blame it all on you, because I know you're also hurt-- but Jaemin we begged you to stay away from her. But you didn't. You--" Jiho sat down, hands on her face, shoulders shaking.

"S-she--" Jaemin couldn't form a sentence.

"Where were you? In the past three days, Jaemin, where were you?" Jiho took a sharp breath, raising her head and looked at Jaemin once again.

"I was at my mom's..." Jaemin answered meekly.

"I found out last Thursday. When you saw us fighting at her apartment, that was when I caught her doing drugs. I was trying to--, fuck, I was trying to throw it away and then she got angry and started to talk about you. I guess she felt that you were by the door and started to talk about you.." Jaemin remembers that clear as day. The day you visibly changed right in front of his eyes.

"She left Sacred Heart last year because of the scandal. It hit her so bad, and that's when it started. She was introduced to drugs and later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Me and Jeonghan knew her from our childhood and we did our best to help her. And then she went out with Jeonghan and that's when our falling apart happened. She broke my brother's heart and I can't even blame her because I know she only did it because she wants everyone to leave her. She thinks she's a burden to everybody. And then Nurse Suh came into the picture and helped her to get free medication, and when she did, eventually her addiction stopped. And then you happened, and for a while she was so happy. But suddenly Nurse Suh cut her off and the medication stopped. That's why she drove you away, Jaemin. You know what she told Jeonghan before she left? She said that you didn't deserve to be with her."

"She can't leave, did you check the apartment?" Denial. Jaemin can't process everything yet. He doesn't want to.

"Her stuff's out of the apartment. We found this," Jiho pulled out a polaroid picture. Jiho reached out to Jaemin, swiftly before letting go of the photo.

"She's a good person, Jaemin. She's just broken. I know you did your best, but we can't help a person who doesn't want to be helped. I just hope you don't hate her forever." Jiho then walked away.

Jeno, Haechan and Renjun was silent. They didn't say anything, not to disturb their friend's moment of silence. One by one, the left the room, leaving Jaemin and a photo that had a glimpse of a moment where you were once his.

It was the picture of you and Jaemin. Happily smiling. Upon seeing the photo, Jaemin finally broke down.

At the back, there was something written.

Hi, Jaem. Thank you for the food you've been sending! Although I didn't eat it, I still know that it's delicious!! Remember when we talked about photography? How I love people's smile? Guess what? I think yours is my favorite. So please keep wearing it. You're precious, Jaem. I am so sorry for everything. I hope you get the love that you deserve. Do me a favor and forget me, will you? -y/n :)

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

"Is it on?" Jaemin was a giggling mess, infront of you as you filmed him beside you on your bed, nothing but the sheets.

"It is! Okay, ladies and gents,--"

"This man right here," You booped his nose, "Just gave me a mind blowing orgasm about.. hm, six minutes ago?" Jaemin laughed at the camera, before wiggling his eyebrows at it. "I did, one of my proudest talents."

"Shut up!" you laughed. "Anyways, Mr. Jaemin-ssi. Tell the whole world your age and what you want to be when you grow up!" You giggled, focusing the camera on his bare face. His eyes heavy, smile reaching his eyes.

"22, and yours." He whispered as he looked at your eyes instead of the camera lense.

"What? You barely said anything!"

"I just did what you told me, baby. I told my whole world what my age was and what I wanted to be." Jaemin can see the sudden rush of color on your cheeks. You frowned cutely.

"You're a loser." A tinge of smile you desperately hid made Jaemin laugh. He likes it when you pretend you don't like his corny takes.

Jaemin then grabbed the camera, now turned it to you, also nothing but the sheets and bare face. Jaemin is convinced this is what heaven must look like.

"Now to my pretty interviewer-- aren't you gorgeous?" You jokingly cleared your throat, smiled so big that it could make anyone blind.

"Hi, I'm y/n, Jaemin's pretty interviewer."

"So, my pretty girl. 5 years from now, how do you see yourself?" You were a bit unprepared with Jaemin's question, he sees it the way your smiles faltered a bit.

It took you a minute before you answered, "Better. I hope I can be better so I can take care of this little manchild." You somehow turned it light, grabbing the camera from Jaemin and pointing at him.

"Well, y/n from 5 years from now, I'm glad-- I hope, I'm still there by your side."

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

"Yeri, I've told you a hundred times, she's my mother so you need to treat her with respect!" Jaemin can't help but yell, just as he followed Yeri out of the restaurant.

"She doesn't like me, Jaemin! Gosh your mother is so-, I'm not dealing with her shit anymore, Jaemin!" Yeri yelled back, stomping her feet as she walked toward's Jaemin's car.

Yeri is Jaemin's girlfriend for four months. He went out with her upon his father's request and to his mother's dismay. His father thought Jaemin could finally settle down with a woman after you.

Jaemin can't help but grunt, looking up, frustrated and honestly just tired. Everyday he questions why he's even with Yeri. The girl did nothing but drain his wallet, disrespect his mother and treat him like a trophy boyfriend.

"She's not allowed in our apartment anymore," Yeri said as she settles herself on Jaemin's passenger seat.

"What apartment? It's my apartment and you sleep there, Yeri. And you can't just-- ban my mother from my place!" Jaemin has already forgotten the time where him and Yeri never argued.

"Did you see the way she looked at me? And you're gonna sit there and not defend me?" Jaemin admits that his mother did have a distaste with his girlfriend, but never once did his mother did anything to show that. She is not that kind of person and Jaemin's sure he's not the only one to vouch for that.

"She was trying to make a conversation and you blatantly ignored her, Yeri."

"I didn't like her tone." she rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone as Jaemin drove. He decided not to talk anymore, mostly because he doesn't want to argue anymore.

"What're we doing here?" Yeri saw that he parked outside her apartment complex.

"I need time for myself, Yeri. I can't handle you anymore." He expressed with utmost respect.

"Are you kidding me? You're kicking me out of your place?!" Yeri squealed, almost making Jaemin cover his ears.

"You can disrespect me but not my mom, Yeri."

Yeri smirked, crossed her arms on her chest, and looked at Jaemin. "You're trash, Jaemin. Such a fucking mama's boy. I bet this isn't even about your mother, huh? Still about that bitch who left y--"

"Get out or I'm gonna have to drag you out, Yeri. Please." Thankfully, Yeri did get out, but not walking away before she slams the door, making Jaemin flinch a bit. He makes sure the Yeri actually went in the building before he drove off.

He pulled out his phone, texting his mom. He decided that he'll just go back to the restaurant and apologize for Yeri's behavior. He knew that his mom was hurt, and he can't let the night pass without comforting his mom.

Luckily, the restaurant is near where he was so it took him about ten minutes to go back. Getting out of his car, he wondered if his parents are still there.

Looking further inside the restaurant, he didn't notice someone walking out the door so inevitably, he bumped and collided with a man. He quickly bows, "I'm sorry, man."

"No worries," Jaemin was a bit perplexed on how deep the man's voice is, but shrugged it off anyways.

"Felix!"

Jaemin felt his heart stop a beat. He knows that voice.

"I'm here," The man responded.

Jaemin was frozen on the spot. He was afraid to look behind him and put a face in to the voice he just heard, but he's sure as hell he's not leaving this spot without knowing who it is.

"Excuse me," This time, the woman was much closer to him as she walked pass Jaemin.

His breath hitched, time slows down as he saw the back of her head.

Before she could even take a step further, Jaemin grabbed her wrists, not thinking of anything,-- just the fact that he desparately wanted to see her face.

"Hey!-- What,-- Jaemin?"

There you are.

Jaemin gulped before blinking to see if he was just hallucinating but there you really are. "Y/N," he whispered, more to himself.

"You know him?" The man, who he assumes was Felix, asked, looking at Jaemin's hands on your wrist. It brought Jaemin back to reality, and swiftly let go of your hand.

"Y-yeah," Your cheeks burned, not letting your eyes away from Jaemin. It was like everyone else blurred out, and you two were the only ones in the room.

"You okay, man?" Thats when Jaemin realized that his jaw was actually a bit slacked, staring at you for a solid minute now. He shook his head to look at Felix,

"Yeah. Uh, y/n, how-- how are you?" Jaemin's breathing was starting to get abnormal, as he was really shocked to see you here.

"Good," you cleared your throat, "Great, actually. Uhm, Felix, this is Jaemin," "Jaemin, Felix." The two shook hands, Felix was still visibly confused but Jaemin was still stuck on you.

"Old friend?" Felix asked.

"Is that what she told you?" Jaemin, glancing on you.

"Yes?" Felix was starting to feel uncomfortable, as he had no clue what the heck is happening in front of him. You two looked perplexed and out of it, to say the least.

"I--, We need to go, Felix. Hey, uhm, Jaemin-?" It was obvious you were aghast, just like Jaemin.

Jaemin looked back at you again, "Yeah?"

"I'll see you around?" You uttered.

"Okay." Jaemin said quietly.

The two started to walk away from Jaemin, but Jaemin was left there frozen. In his own thoughts, drowing in memories about you. Everything came crashing back on him and it was overwhelming. After so long, you still had that power over him. You still manage to get his guard down.

This is fucking dangerous. Jaemin shouldn't even feel like this. One look, one word-- and its like his whole being fell again. Is destiny truly fucking with him? He took so long-- months, to get you out his system. Or at least burn it so deep inside his brain along with the memories you have. And for what? All of it being opened like a freshly sewed wound, all because of a three second interaction?

That night, Jaemin went home with a feeling so familiar. Like he wanted to find you again. Just like the first time he saw you at that cafeteria. He wonders if he'll see you again.

Actually, no. He will make sure to see you again.

---

"You can't break up with me,"

Jaemin sighed, he didn't know what else to do. This was the only way Jaemin thought of, specially after his encounter with you. He knew the effect you had on him that night wasn't the innocent 'seeing your friend after long time' type of thing. He knew there's more to it.

"I'm sorry," and he really is. He didn't want to string Yeri along, and doesn't want to give her false hope that this relationship is going somewhere.

"Is this about your stupid mom? Fine, I'll apologize!" The thing with his mom was also a big thing in coming to this decision. Jaemin likes to think that even if he didn't see you that night, this breakup was inevitable. It was coming, sooner or later.

"Don't-- don't call my mother like that, Yeri, please. And no, there's more to it. Please, I want a clean breakup," Jaemin didn't want to elaborate, he didn't want to hurt Yeri even more.

"You can't leave me, Jaemin! We have a party to attend-- I already told them about you! Do you want me to be embarrassed?" Of course. Of course its about the fucking party.

Jaemin was a trophy for Yeri. Handsome and rich, Yeri bragged about having him in her palms. Jaemin never complained about it but it does bother him. And Yeri bringing it up now just showed him how Yeri never really cared about this relationship.

"You can find a new boy toy, somewhere else, Yeri. I'm done." He's not gonna lie, there's still a pang of guilt when he walked away from Yeri. He knew it was unavoidable, yet it with you in the picture again, it does play a huge part.

"A fucking toast for the newly single man! I'm so proud of you for letting that devil reincarnate go!" Haechan was beyond sober, as he welcomed Jaemin who just came a few minutes earlier.

"You really did it, huh?" Renjun smiled, putting his arm around Jaemin's shoulder.

"Yeah, I guess." Jaemin shrugged. Every moment feels important to him. He doesn't have any idea when you'll show up again. So he better not drink even a drop of alcohol, just in case.

"Why the long face?" Jeno was buzzed aswell, completely leaning on the bar couch. Eyes barely open, he's been drinking quite a lot lately.

"Nothing," Jaemin doesn't want to say anything about you and his' encounter, he didn't want to jinx it.

The bar was loud and busy, yet Jaemin was quiet and stuffy. He does feel relieved, breaking up with Yeri was a huge weight off of his shoulder. But he can't get off his mind the words you said.

"I'll see you around?"

Where exactly is around? When will you see him? Is it in the same restaurant? Will you text him to meet? Is that Felix guy your boyfriend?

"You're such a bore, Jaemin. Not even a shot?" Its a mystery how Jeno managed to stand on his feet with how drunk he is but he still did, handing Jaemin a shot, which Jaemin refused.

"Not in the mood,"

"Whatever. Y'know, eversince that gi-"

Before Jeno could even finish, Renjun, which had a little to zero alcohol in his system quickly pulled Jeno down beside him.

"I'll sew your mouth close, Lee. Now sit down and let me fucking find the other Lee." He was referring to Haechan, which also is drunk out of his mind, but still ran into the sea of people on the dancefloor.

"I need a breather," Jaemin decided to go outside the bar, but making sure that Jeno is well situated first before leaving the poor man laying in the couch.

In every other situation, he would've loved to match Jeno's energy and got drunk as much as his best friend, but this time he is truly not in the best condition to do so.

As soon as the bar's door closed behind him, the sudden silence was almost deafening. Which Jaemin wouldn't tell if its much worse than being inside, since he was left with only his thoughts and the street in front of him.

He crossed the road into a nearby convenience store, wanting some water or any drink that could possibly soothe his mind.

"Thank you," He bowed to the cashier, as he paid for the drink in hand.

The store was empty. Just him, the staff, and some random music quietly surrounding the store.

He sat by the stools, contemplating if he should just go home. Phone dead, he disregarded the idea of calling Renjun, who he is sure would prefer to be with him in this quiet convenience store rather than to babysit two grown adults who can't seem to handle their alcohol.

Dropping the phone on the side of the table, Jaemin quietly opened and drank the coca cola he bought. He just now realized that this was his dinner. He forgot to eat. Funny, Jaemin being a big advocate of not skipping a meal, skips a meal.

The dingling sound of the door was heard, Jaemin never bothered to look because again, this is a 7/11. People come and go. A slight set of footsteps was also prominent, seemingly roaming around the store.

"Can I sit here?"

Wide eyes, heart skipping a beat. The music was suddenly gone and everything else blurred out.

"Y-Y/N." He stuttered. He can't swiftly grasp the situation before you sat down the stool beside him.

"Hi." Your hair a bit shorter, cheeks a bit fuller, carrying a shade of pink, your figure covered with a thick coat.

You placed a couple of kimbap in front of you and a coca cola, same as his.

"What are you doing here?" Jaemin, carefully picking his choice of words as to not show any signs of discomfort.

"I was passing by and.. actually, no. I followed you here." For a moment there, you sounded like you wanted to lie, but backtracked and told Jaemin the truth.

"Did you now?" Jaemin remembered when he followed you that one time, and it feels like the tables have turned.

"Yeah, figured we needed to talk." You were timid, can't barely see Jaemin eye to eye. From his memories, you were always confident with what you say. So seeing this demeanor in front of him was a change.

"How are you?" Jaemin asked, genuinely curious.

"Never been better," You answered back, with a full chest and a heave of deep breath like you were relieved.

"I'm glad," Every last word was quickly followed by a complete silence.

After a few moments of deep thought, Jaemin wasn't sure what to say. Yes, before you showed up, questions was flooding in his brain. Asking for answers on why you left, why'd you lie and most importantly, why did you break him for no reason.

Jaemin's thoughts mustve been loud, hence the next dentence that came out of your lips.

"I'm guessing you have questions?"

Maybe Jaemin should've had a few shots before, to ease the tension and gain liquid courage, because fuck, he doesn't think he can handle this tonight.

But for the months you were gone, Jaemin isn't gonna pass this rare chance that you showed up, much more, showing up to talk to him properly.

"Why'd you leave?" Three words that circulated Jaemin's mind on those months you were gone. A question he asked himself a lot of times.

You were still for a bit, likely thinking about the answer. Jaemin could explode at any moment, he feels.

"I signed myself up for rehabilitation."

This wasn't the answer Jaemin expected. Its somehow a blow, to him, because he was angry at you for flaking on him for no reason. But now that you answered one of the many questions he had, it made Jaemin regret some of the things he had thought of about you. His guilt crept in.

"I-, I didn't know."

"Only a few knew about that. You were one of the unlucky ones to have suffered from it, so I thought you needed atleast an explanation." You smiled bitterly, still looking outside, whilst Jaemin looked at your side profile.

You continued. "I assume Jiho had filled you up with some of my dilemmas after I left. But trust me, Jaemin. I never intended to hurt you. You're so undeserving of the things I did but I had to make you hate me. I knew you cared for me back then, more than I had anticipated and I never really wanted to give myself that. I knew I can't receive love I didn't deserve. And I can feel it too, Jaem.." you paused.

Jaem. Oh how he missed the way you called him that.

".. I can feel that you really wanted to fix me. And you truly tried your best. But back then I didn't want to be fixed. And its unfair to have you selfishly. I never slept with your friend, I just made you believe that. I wanted you to despise me, to never think about me ever again." Well, you failed on that part, big time.

"Just hoped you gave me a chance to take care of you," Jaemin muttered.

"I'm not that evil to give you a burden like that,"

"You were never a burden to me,"

You let out a humourless grin, "I'd like to believe that, but we both know that's not true. For as long as I remember, I had been apologizing for just.. existing."

"I could've been there, y/n. I could've helped you."

"No, Jaemin. I don't think so, cuz even then, I couldn't even help myself." You spoke with great sincerity.

Another cruel moment of silence passed, and it was the most intense yet. None of you spoke, as if your thoughts were connected and understood each other without even saying a word.

"You really fucked me up, you know." It was now or never for Jaemin. Might as well open the can of worms now, and regret everything later. He might not have the same courage and opportunity as now.

"I did. And I'm so.. so sorry."

"But it's fine, y/n. I was young and naive, I guess I needed that. I already forgave you, fuck it, I don't even need to because I never truly hated you. All I did was love you, and even after you broke me, I still did." Looking into the distance, after so many failed attempts, he finally said it out loud. He was ready to risk it all, again.

"And I knew that, Jaemin. And maybe, I did love you too but back then I didn't know what love is. It was so scary and overwhelming that even from a distance, I already despised that kind of feeling."

"Are you... happy?" Jaemin thought about the man you were with. And at this moment, your answer was crucial, as it was a defining moment of what step or path he should go next.

"Yes. Are you?" Looking at him, you saw his eyes fill with unspoken comprehension of what its like to be happy and sad at the same time.

Happy that you're doing great, sad because he had just accepted the fact that you're much better with somebody else.

"I have no idea." And that was the truth. He wasn't sure if theres a word that could describe how he feels.

"Yeri, right? I heard from someone that you're with her. She seems great," Oh, what a great timing.

"We broke up already."

You widen your eyes and smiled awkwardly, "I'm sorry,"

"No, its okay. It wasn't working anyways. It was bound to happen sooner or later. You and Felix?"

"He's a great friend. He helped me with sobriety and therapy." Friend? Is that so?

"I thought you were dating," Jaemin liked the way this is going, it gave him hope.

"No, not really, never had anyone after you."

Is Jaemin supposed to be proud? Nonetheless, he felt a slight flutter in his chest. He was about to make a decision that will ultimately trash the imaginary walls he tried to build.

"Have.. have you thought about what we could've been?" Oh, what a risky question.

"Yeah, even back then, I always dreamed about an alternate universe where I wasn't so fucked up and actually tried something with you." Okay. You seem fine now, you seem on track. It wouldn't hurt to try again, right? Jaemin wanted to slap himself. Do he really want to risk it again?

"You could still.. try." The answer is yes.

You furrowed your brows, tilted your head a bit, "I don't think you deserve another heartbreak, specially from me, you know?" You chuckled, yet Jaemin was serious. This time, he's set to have you. He has to have you.

"I'll gladly let you break my heart again, y/n. Trust me, you'll only find yourself inside."

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Maybe Jaemin was setting himself up for another heartbreak, but this time he was certain. He was certain to give it his all-- everything he has to lose. You were worth every piece of his heart.

He kissed your lips like he held his entire life on it, like every moment were his last. Running your hands on his hair, you two blindly roamed around your apartment. Luckily, Jaemin still had the entire apartment sketched in his brain.

You felt his hands lower, lifting up your ass, signaling you to jump and cling onto him. You gladly did, and like a feather, he lifted you without any struggle. Lips still tangled together, Jaemin lowered you into the soft texture of your bed.

"I missed you so much," Jaemin groaned as he parted his lips from you. Seeing your face against the dimly lit room was majestic. Not long before he lowered his face onto your neck, giving it open mouth kisses that sent shivers down your spine.

Slowly, he tugged on your shirt upwards, lifted it and revealed your soft pink laced bra, covering your breast. Jaemin didn't waste time grabbed one of you breast, caressing it gently, just enough to bring you pleasure without discomfort.

"Hmm, I missed this," He groaned again.

You whined, being sensitive to every touch he gave you. His hands worked like magic, pulling down your bra and swiftly latching his mouth on your left nipple, while still caressing the other. "Ah, fuck.. baby." you moaned.

You can feel your core dripping already, desperate for any kind of friction. His expert hands left your boob, yet not leaving your skin, just lowering to the area you were sensitive the most. In a split second, your pants was undone and a cold breeze on your center gave you goosebumps all over. "So wet for me,"

"Yes.. yes, please, touch me." You begged for him. You needed him.

"You don't need to beg, princess." Just then, his middle finger applied pressure on your dripping core, igniting a spark that felt so good-- you couldn't help but buck your hips onto his hands.

He was gonna love you, and you were gonna love him. Tomorrow's uncertain, but today was sure. You were meant to be his, and he's meant to be yours.

Let your heart get what it wants. If you get hurt, then you have to endure. Jaemin endured the entire time and its your time to gamble.

While Jaemin was still devouring every inch of your skin, you took this chance to touch his clothed member- already rock hard, seeking freedom from the confinement of his pants. You traced it before gripping it through the fabric, making Jaemin hiss in pleasure.

"Take.. it off." Barely composing a sentence, Jaemin understood the assignment and pulled away, to undress himself. His top came off first, and just like a reflex, your hands quickly find his toned chest, down to his abs. You can't help but bite your lip, seeing his body again after so long. The only difference is, this time, he has a more mature build.

Tracing your hand down to his lower abdomen, and even much lower, and helped him undo his pants. As he disregarded all of his clothes, he didn't waste time and quickly lowered himself again to you. Kissing you with burning passion, he grind his hips onto yours, and you felt his hard length poking your thigh.

Using your hand, you grabbed it by the base, Jaemin reacting so sensitive made you excited. Your hands doing up and down motion, pointing finger tracing the slit on his pinkish tip.

"Fuck.. fuck baby, god." Jaemin couldn't help but groan deeply, urging you to move faster. Your movement all of a sudden halt, as Jaemin held your wrist, stopping you. "I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that." His dark voice whispered.

"Already?" You smirked at him.

"You underestimate your effect on me, baby." Truly, you were the only person who could melt Jaemin into a puddle if you wanted to.

His hand balancing himself on top of you, as the other held his cock, lining himself onto your entrance.

"Ah.. ah, shit," You moaned, caused by the stretch. A slight tinge of pain but quickly replaced by a wave of intense pleasure as he deeply plunges until you take all of him.

"So.. so fucking tight, oh fuck." Jaemin waited for your signal to keep moving. Which you did, by lifting your hips up to create any sort of movement. He swiftly pull out, just to go in again.

"I love you," Jaemin cried from pleasure, his tempo slowly gaining speed.

"I love you so much," you replied, grabbing his face to look at you as he fucks you with intense affection.

"Y/n, y/n.. I love you." He repeated like a mantra, going in and out repeatedly. You can feel your insides creating a bubble-- soon going to pop. He examines all of your features, "Cum for me." He murmured.

You nodded in response, biting your lip, yet not losing eye contact. A sudden wave of pleasure struck, and before you knew it, you're shaking under him. "I.. I love you."

"I'm cumming, shi..." You locked your legs on his waist, as he stilled so deep, reaching levels of your insides no one has ever reachex before. He cums, deep inside you and you felt his warm, thick ropes of cum paint your insides. His body collapses on top of you, heavy breathing surrounded the apartment.

Honestly, Jaemin didn't care if you hurt him again, Heck, break him again and again. Run away if you can, but he would make sure that he'll be here, always waiting for you. Break his heart for all he cares. You'll only find yourself there.

"Let's go, baby. They can't wait to meet you." Jaemin smiled at you softly, opening the car door before letting you in.

"I really get the feeling that they hate me." You nervously said, as Jaemin went around the car and sat at the driver seat.

"They actually did, back then. But now they're a lot less dumber." You laughed at him.

This was the first time Jaemin will introduce you to his friends. Even tho you knew that they already know you from the past, you wanted to introduce your new self. The self thats much better.

As you arrived at their shared apartment, you can already hear the noise behind the door. You looked at Jaemin with anticipation, as he opened the door.

"There she is! Hi, y/n!" Haechan, which you have encountered before, greeted you with a big smile. He was approaching with wide arms, which Jaemin quickly swats away.

"No." Jaemin simply says as he put his arms around you and dragged you further in the house.

There, you saw Jeno and Renjun playing Jenga. As soon as you sat down, the tower had fallen. Renjun frowning, Jeno with a big smile.

"Oh hi, y/n. Renjun just lost in Jenga, again." The cocky grin was present in Jeno's face.

"That doesn't count! We should play again, this time with y/n!"

You were quiet, but not because you were uncomfortable, but because you were slowly digesting everything. You felt so belonged with these people that its felt a bit weird, in a good way.

You smiled at them, looking back at Jaemin who's walking towards you with a drink in hand. "Thirsty, baby?" His smile was enchanting, and so, so gorgeous.

The time goes on and it all felt natural. It was the first time you saw Jaemin laugh that much, and it made you happier than ever. Then and there, you have concluded that you will never hurt this man again. This time, you'll try to make this work, because you knew he was the only one for you.

And even if the gods and the heaven above curse you for loving selfishly, you wouldn't care. Jaemin is the perfect man for you. And you can't let that smile fade again.

"What're you thinking?" Jaemin whispered, above all the noise from his friends.

"I love you."

And if you thought Jaemin's smile couldn't get any bigger, it did.

"I love you." He answered.

This time, you'll get your happy ending. You choose your happiness and Jaemin. Forever, you will choose Jaemin. Because you realize that after everything, even fiction itself, got nothing on this man.

-end-

A/N: I know it took so long to publish but again, I'm a bit busy! But how was it?? I hope you liked the first installation of my series, diary of the heart breakers! Thank you so much.

taglist: @cutiepeas @legbouk@hyuckissed @bockhyun @hibernatinghamster@shookyungsoo@sundamariis@sharkipoonis@ohmykwonsoonyoung@carelessshootanonymous

next part >> Inevitably Yours

#nct imagines #kpop imagines #nct x reader #kpop oneshots #nct #nct dream #kpop au #nct 127 #nct aus #na jaemin #jaemin smut #nct jaemin #nctzen #nct mark #nct drabbles #nct fluff #lee haechan #huang renjun #lee jeno

[foundfamilynonsense]

I don’t think some people realize why the gray jedi thing pisses some of us off so badly.

Imagine you like lord of the rings and you decide to look around the fandom.

And it turns out that 10+ or something years ago someone wrote a piece of fanfiction where they rewrote the rules for the ring. So instead of it only having one master and corrupting everyone else that tried to use it, it sometimes chooses to take a new master if it feels the person is worthy of it. And therefore this author’s self-insert OC can now use the one ring in all its glory without getting turned crazy.

This fanfic gets published (as some fanfics do) and most of the fandom has read it and loves it.

Now, when you (someone who has only dealt with canon works written by Tolkien) see this fic you go… huh. That’s nice, but it goes against the very point of the books and the lore tolkien created. So while it’s a good fic I’m not going to interact with it.

But then people keep harassing you for taking about/ writing the one ring the way tolkien wrote it to begin with.

And they SWEAR that this is the Actual lore of the one ring, and that YOU are wrong. Which is completely insane to you, because FRODE TOOK IT TO MORDOR FOR A REASON. There is only one lord of the ring!! That’s literally the name of the series that’s what it’s about!! If what the fandom was insisting about was possible, there would be no plot. In the original books.

This is why we are so upset over gray jedi!! Bc if it was possible to use the dark side but still be a good guy then wtf is wrong with Anakin? Why the fuck did Darth Vader fall to the dark side? Why did Luke struggle so much? If you can have your cake and eat it too why are the movies so fuckin long?? Why did Luke fail against Vader in Empire? what lesson did he learn in Return? Why would the movie be called Return of the Jedi if Luke had not learned the Jedi ways????

You can write OC’s as gray jedi all you want but when you start forcing it into canon it literally ruins the movies!

#star wars #pro jedi #anti gray jedi #anti grey jedi

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

hi it's the good omens mascot here's some shit about me that might be relevant

I appear to have accidentally caused chaos so I figured you might as well know about me since I'm responsible for it. And also so that you know who you broke, thanks ineffable fandom.

I have been called the prophet by some of you all. This is not entirely untrue, but I would like to add as I did in one post, that Apollo also gave me the curses of art, (very emotional) music, (sometimes good mostly dreadful) poetry, (same parentheses apply, except that the dreadful is on purpose) writing and (used to be good now dreadful) medical knowledge, and so yes, you did accidently adopt a messenger of an ancient Greek god.

Yes, this entire entry into your cult happened from start to now happened in 48 hours.

This will seem less bizarre when I give you context about me and fandoms. I changed career paths (after three years of intense study that cost me my sanity) from science to the arts because I was inspired by drarry fanfiction of them leaving their ministry jobs and following their dreams. Yes I tossed three years and my loss of sanity away in one week of decisions. I'm now a designer. Thanks Draco.

I read so much drarry fanfiction that my mum had to take me to the hospital for injured wrists. I wore wrist and elbow supports and was in constant pain for a few months. I was only later introduced to autoscroll. Yes, I am a fool. Yes, I am unaware of how to human.

I'm broke and cheap enough that I feel guilty buying bottled water, but for Christmas I spent the equivalent of around 150 bottles of water getting a Bakewell tart custom made (they don't sell them where I live). Why? Because in one single fanfiction, it is Draco's favourite food. I would never spend that kind of money on a dessert for any real human being.

That is to say, you all are not ready for when I REALLY fall for Crowley. I don't saunter vaguely downwards for people. I bypass earth and crash into hell, leaving a smoking pit in its infernal ground.

I swear I'm not as dumb as I seem, I just have ZERO general knowledge, and am terrible with faces. I can tell you what the graffiti on the walls of Pompeii from before 70 AD said but I don't know who my previous president was, and personally I think that's very classy of me.

Some of you seem concerned about my sleep schedule. Worry not, I sleep in four installments, night, morning nap, afternoon nap, evening nap. I sleep more than you all, that I can promise. I sleep more than my doggy sister.

About the streams and the timezones, I have no idea how to make it so people can watch, because I frequently mix up east and west and last morning I mixed up the Pacific and Atlantic ocean. I don't know at what point the Eastern hemisphere becomes the Western or how any of it works. I also thought Wakanda was a real place.

But hey fun fact, in 2020 diclofenac sales were dropping in Iceland. I know this because I wanted to make sure to use the correct painkiller in one sentence of a story I was writing. It was completely irrelevant. But hey any of you writers here probably feel my pain. I don't write fanfiction, but I am an author and I write original stories. And honestly what is more useful, Icelandic diclofenac sales from three years ago or timezones?

A career test once told me to be a standup comedian.

Yes that's me Asmi, just your regular dumbass lad who is slightly unhinged, serving himbo twink energy, hello hi nice to meet you all. PS: the poll results are out and Doctor Who won, so tremble, DW fandom.

#good omens fandom #good omens mascot #asmi #weirdly-specific-but-ok #this is me y'all #good omens brainrot #thanks for breaking me i figured you should know about me #crowley #just crowley i'm going to shatter soon #drarry #draco malfoy #fandom culture #fandom things #doctor who #dw fandom #more inaccurate summaries coming up #good omens #fanfiction #and how it ruined and saved me

[thealexanderfiles]

DCU from a Marvel fans limited perspective

recently i've accidently been sucked into the DCU universe, mostly Bat family, if i'm being honest, and although i've never watched a single movie/episode, this is what i have gathered from purely reading the occasional fanfiction/lots of tumblr posts

SPOILERS i guess

There are A LOT of batkids

Bruce Wayne adopts these motherfuckers like they're some kind of limited edition pokemon set

no one is actually sure how many there are but if you have black hair and blue eyes and live in gotham, Batman doesn't care if you've got parents or not. you're coming home with him

There appears to be five Robins and Batman goes though these children like a chainsmoker with a pack of cigarettes

people die a lot

Thats okay though because people come back to life a concerning amount as well

Jason Todd died and came back to life by being dumped in a pit of magical water

Damien Wayne is the only biological child of Bruce and he mentions this a lot

Dick Greyson was the first Robin and the first adoption and i think he and Bruce got in a fight and he left to become Nightwing

Jason Todd stole the Batmobile's wheels and became the second Robin. after he came back to life he became Red Hood

Tim Drake was not an orphan, he just fit Bruce's target demographic and was conveniently close (I mean come on, it's like express shipping) He is also some kind of super-genius. He was the third Robin but became Red Robin/Drake

Stephanie brown(?) was the fourth robin(?), not sure for how long. People get upset when other people forget. I think she's called Spoiler or something

Damien Wayne is the final Robin. Hes this assassins son and im pretty sure Talia dropped him off at the Wayne Manor and said, "I had him through the terrible twos, you get the teen years'

Not entirely sure if Tim runs Wayne enterprises

Brucie wayne is the funniest fucking thing i swear

He's so stupid

not sure is Tim, Dick and Jason follow Bruce's lead and become absolute airheads as well

Alfred is a butler

Alfred has guns

There's someone called Duke and Cass knocking around

The Justice League think Batman works alone

someone in the JL is allergic to the colour yellow

there is a concerning amount of Danny Phantom x DC crossover fics

sames goes for Miraculous

Tim Drake is Bi and for some reason people don't like that

internet is divided on whether of not Batman is a bad dad

#OnlyInGotham is a thing?

Gotham is like an australian NYC

the Riddler is a not funny, less aggressive version of the Joker

apparently Alcatraz and Arkham are different prisons but thats on me

there's a whole group of superheroes out there, each have strong powers and they decide to leave the most dangerous city to the member that has no powers and dresses up as an anthropomorphic bat and runs around the city causing copious amounts of property damage with his children

there is a girl called barbra? Gordon

there is a criminally small amount of content for the girls

for some reason people ship the bat kids together, ike, anytime you have to remind yourself 'its TECHNICALLY not incest is Not Good'

Clark Kent is running round acting as if his reading glasses are the only thing standing between a normal life and CHAOS and the worst thing is that he is right

i am a MCU fan and i was SO sure that Deadpool was MCU but now i'm not so sure

Fandom likes to have this troupe that Bruce wayne doesn't believe batman exists when obviously the superior troupe is that Gotham is pretty sure they are exes

teen titans and young justice are a thing but i cant figure out which robin is who.

Damien Wayne has enough animals to open a zoo

who tf in the batfam are metas?????

Batman has definetely used the Tired Dad voice on villains and the Brucie Wayne voice on the JL

Bruce Wayne has contingency plans if someone discovers his contingency plans

THERES A PLACE CALLED THE FUCKING BAT BURGER???????

it took 2 robins until batman realized that a small child running around in a vest top and speedos was not the greatest idea

Someone needs to tell me, like right now what's going on, where to start and what to read. bc rn im LIVING on chaotic fics

#bruce wayne #brucie wayne #batman #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #dc robin #dc comics #dc universe #someone pls tell me what DC means im actually loosing my mind here #batfam

[biscuitbox23]

Dead weight.

summary: you run into the woods to get away from the group, you were reaching the end of your life as you suffer from aplastic anemia, only to get stopped by Rick.

A/n: I’m not a medical expert, i have no familiarity with the field of medicine I am just an idiot who is a sucker for terribly made sad stories. This may be a very long opening to the actual climax so im sorry for that :( please do DM me for advice on how i can make my fanfictions better!

Warnings: inaccurate depictions of the illness, non-established relationship (rick and reader), mentions of death, angst, cursing. (Not much due to me being a minor.) somewhat bad grammar since English isn’t my second language.

words: 1.3K

It has been a while, well, a while since you had a good stock of medicine. You had been in an abandoned cabin a few months after the outbreak. During it, you got stuck in a pharmacy in Atlanta. The law was gone now, so you hoarded a ton of antibiotics, capsules, injections, and anything you could get your grubby hands on.

When Rick and Daryl saved you from a trio of men who were trying to take advantage of you, you joined them and did not stay inside forever, especially when blood stained the floors of your shelter. It was a mistake.

You wanted to stay with yourself, isolated from the horrors and sacrifices that the world has offered now. It was harder to find medication now that most stores were stripped clean. It was easier for you to catch minor fevers, and you tended to have more rest than the others in the group. The only reason you were there is because you knew how to survive.

In the woods, in the apocalypse, no problem. Whatever your dad knew your dad would teach you, he was an outdoor person and loved to forage different shrooms and plants. God knows what happened to him.

You grew closer to the group, helping them find food and clean water, scavenging what you can find in abandoned retail stores (even if it does not have much importance.)

Now you find yourself walking out of Alexandria by attempting to climb the steel borders to the outside of the wall, your head spinning as drowsiness has consumed you to your very core, yet you still have the urge to continue. Or else you are just dead weight. You had a few foot slips —you swear, Enid makes it look easy— but managed to get out. You can sense your muscles aching as if you did not even have the strength to pull yourself up despite climbing trees more than a million times when you were a teen. You needed to disappear 

from the people, the group. Rick.

Rick was a leader, for sure. He had all the correct morals and cunningness and looked up to him for it. You were no longer the person of any use to him and his group. You could not even defend yourself without stumbling down to the ground.

You were around when T-dog and Lori passed away. You 

remembered falling for Rick when you first saw him, only to discover he had a pregnant wife and a kid. It started like a rocky road. You were so used to the isolation that it took a lot of convincing to get you to come with them to the prison.

You took a liking to his daughter Judith. You loved babies. It was a surprise. You thought that you would never find a baby in this world again. Carl was the closest to you. You tell him stories about your life and would do the same, reminiscing about the world that used to be. He praised his father a lot and got a good idea of what Rick was like as a father. Hershel would check up on your health while Rick would stand beside the old sport as Hershel examines you.

Making your way into the woods, you stopped by a tree to take a breather. Your hands were on your knees as you stared down to the ground, crinkles of the leaves crushing on the bottom of your shoes. The night was cold and airy. The chill on the tip of your nose was evident as you took one more glance at the haven that shielded the real outside world from its inhabitants. The sour stench of rotting meat was not detectable and gave some fresh air — It is not like you cannot get fresh air in Alexandria. You want to be alone most of the time.

“thought I'd find you here." A voice called out, the voice echoing in your ears sounding familiar as the crunching of leaves has gotten closer and closer.

“fuck” you curse under your breath, “how did you find me?”

“Carl saw you tryin’ to climb the walls.”

“huh,” you playfully scoffed but was met with a chill and a cough, “thought I was being sneaky…”

“what're you doin’ out here?” Rick asks out of the blue, staring you up and down as you lean back into the tree.

“Rick," you sighed heavily, “go back.”

“I'm not goin’ back till you tell me what happened, y‘know that, don’t you?” Rick asked with a twinge of concern mixed with his southern drawl.

You paused.

“I'm leaving, Alexandria,” You rubbed your forehead as your stomach grumbled. Sliding down to sit as your back leaned onto the tree further.

“If this is about your illness we can make—“Before Rick could finish his sentence you interrupted.

“Make it work? Yeah, I don’t think so…” You retorted, “You don’t understand, Rick. I have a condition where my bone marrow doesn't produce enough blood cells, and I have no meds to help me, what are the chances of finding a pharmacy? A pharmacy where it has all the things I need to survive?” You spat, frustration filling your mind like hot liquid.

“Denise can help you, Y/n, you have seen her efforts in helping you,” You can sense Rick’s desperation to get you back to Alexandria’s infirmary. His voice remained gentle but firm.

“Why, Rick?” Your eyes stared into Rick's ocean blue orbs, frustration, and confusion, “I’m not strong, anymore. I can’t go on runs, anymore. I can’t protect anyone.”

“Because we still need you—“

“Maybe it’s you who still needs me, Rick…” You spat, leaning your head on the wood as you got the strength to finally stand up, with the support of the tree, of course.

“Y/n we can discuss this once we get back,” Rick sighed, coming closer to you as he held both your arms gently.

A rush of adrenaline painfully scours into your veins as you push him away with all the remaining strength you have.

“GODDAMNIT RICK, WHY CANT YOU JUST LET ME DIE OUT THERE!” You yelled at him. “YOU KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE A BURDEN AND YOU SAW HOW MANY PILLS I HAD ON THE TABLE!”

Rick scoffed, “You're giving up now? After all that has happened? The prison, terminus… and you decide to end it all here? Where we’re finally safe?” His tone wasn’t as gentle but it was now harsher, deeper.

“if you think more treatments, will change anything, it won’t. I'm done and I won't let you guilt me into continuing this charade.”

“then what’re you gon’ tell Carl, hm? That you’re sick of bein’ alive so now you’re gonna leave?”

“This isn’t about Carl, Rick it’s about you keeping me to fill in the gap of what Lori gave you,” you glare with poison in your very eyes. “Leaving you to care for a child that was never yours.”

Rick went quiet, as you realized what you had said, “i-I’m sorry… Rick…” you pleaded, holding his hands.

Rick sighed, “Maybe you're right."

You nodded, your breath becoming shorter as your legs finally give in. You feel your body starting to shut down. Rick helped you sit down comfortably on the ground. You were paler and had many bruises on your arms and legs. You were heating up again.

“I'm sorry, Rick,” you breathed heavily, clutching the hand he gave you.

“It’s okay, Y/n,” Rick comforted you, kissing her knuckles as her legs trembled. Rick’s voice was shaky, almost labored.

“I don’t wanna turn, you can ask Daryl to keep my gun, you’ll need it,” You softly chuckled. Rick looked at you, taking his revolver from his holster.

“Get back to Alexandria, to Judith…” you smiled as you felt bile in your throat, blocking your airway and your heartbeat becoming more abnormal.

Rick gives you a final kiss on the head as an act of kindness and comfort on the edge of a quick and painless death.

—————————————————————

a/n: Hello everyone! This is my very first Fanfic and I thought about it on the spot 😭 Reading it for me makes me kinda cringe but don’t we all? Anyways hope you guys enjoyed it (cuz I didn’t but I’m a sucker for tragic love)

#rick grimes #the walking dead #twd #twd x reader #rick grimes x reader #the walking dead fanfiction #andrew lincoln #first fanfic #the walking dead universe #BiscuitWrites #twd oneshot

[gothamitelove]

cellmates (joker x reader hcs)

god knows why you're in arkham asylum, but you are, and that's just how it is. you don't waste your time thinking about the past- what matters is now, and how you're going to survive here.

they haven't assigned you a cellmate yet, since you're still staying in the emergency ward. it's only been a few days, and it's clear this place does not have its shit sorted out yet.

but when the scruffy-looking guard with the beard does give you your assigned cell, he looks like the cat that's just eaten the entire pet store's stash of canaries. the name on the paper he shows you reads Joker.

you try to get out of this. it's got to be some human rights violation to shove you in with him. he'll either kill you or drive you mad, he's done it to others before

nobody listens to you, though, because of course they don't.

the joker takes an immediate, very strange liking to you. maybe it's because you don't let him just do whatever he wants- this is a civilized society, dammit, and he'd better sleep in his own bed before you make him.

he thinks it's very cute, and continues to do whatever he wants anyway. eventually you give up on the bed debacle and just sleep on his when he's being difficult about it

has his weird, aggressive mood swings that you learn to predict and avoid better than anybody else. it makes you nearly invaluable to other inmates and the prison staff when it comes to “what will he let us do today”

can be very touchy, especially in front of people he doesn’t like (read: the guards)

you volunteer information about yourself to him- he never tells you anything about himself in return. it’s just not something he ever speaks about, and you don’t push him on it.

but he does listen to you when you talk, even when it looks like he isn’t. he remembers just about everything you say and will quote you in conversations with other people

sometimes you think he’s going to kill you. it’s not a happy go lucky relationship you’ve got here- but it is one of the only consistent ones he has, and he won’t let go of it easily at all. he doesn’t kill you. but on some occasions, he comes very close.

anyway good luck being locked up with him 23/7!! you’re really gonna need it. (i swear i could write an actual fanfiction about this nobody enable me)

(requests are temporarily closed! but shoot me an ask when they open up again and i'll get back to ya asap. and if you'd like to be tagged when i post like this, dm me!)

#jay.txt #joker #joker x reader #suicide squad #reader insert #x reader #dcu #dc #dc x reader #dc rogues #suicide squad joker #batman #rogues gallery #jared leto joker #leto joker #jared leto #leto joker x reader #leto joker fanfiction #joker imagine #imagines #headcanons #fanfiction #wattpad #ao3 #dc comics

[nicoline1998enilocin]

I have a request for loki x fem!reader based on wandavision, where the reader is dead because of endgame or infinity war instead of loki, and he is not taking it well like AT ALL So one day, he storms in s.h.i.e.l.d and demands a funeral for the reader but they refuse. So he drives somewhere in Westview and just full-on cries and falls to his knees cause she gone and just yells out all his anger and loss and creates a whole reality and brings the reader back. And you know his happy with her but doesn't know that he took thousands of people hostage and their feeling his pain, and he doesn't even realize it. So he likes haves kids in the fake reality, and sword tries to get him to take it down, but of course, he doesn't until reader finds out about it all sensing about how their kids are the only ones in Westview and loki tries telling her their probably all sleeping or their all in their rooms but reader doesn't believe him and since the reader was so smart before she died she realizes that he trapped a whole town to recreate her and she tells him that she has to take the whole thing down but loki begs her because he doesn't want to leave his family but she tells him that it's alright and he takes it down and sees how much pain he put the people of Westview through. And then he creates another reality where his reading THE DARKHOLD. hope this is acceptable 🙏 😌.

Living our 'perfect' life | Part 1

PAIRING | Fiancé!Loki Laufeyson x Fiancée!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 2.2K

SUMMARY | You won the fight against Thanos, but you weren't there to celebrate with all the others, since you didn't get to see it through to the end. Loki doesn't take it well and is hellbent on giving you the proper send-off you deserve, but when SHIELD dismisses him he goes on a warpath to get you back, and he doesn't care who he takes with him in his pain. All he wants is to live the life he desperately wanted, with you by his side.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. This fanfiction takes place right after the battle against Thanos in Avengers: Endgame, but the events I discuss definitely aren’t canon but just my imagination. Major angst, swearing, character death, nervous breakdown.

A/N | Thank you so so SO much for this amazing request @glitteryeggalmondherring, it gave me goosebumps from the moment I read it, and it gave me so many ideas I couldn’t wait to get started! This will be split into two parts, otherwise, it would be too long and I want each part to have its own storyline.

I hope that I could do your request justice and I hope you will enjoy what I wrote. I wasn't able to get through this without crying constantly because I felt so bad for Loki, so I will apologize in advance to anyone who couldn't get through this without tears! 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Loki Laufeyson Masterlist | Part 2

Everyone around the two of you is celebrating, because you won the battle against Thanos. Not the two of you, however. You can't celebrate anymore, because you didn't get the chance to see the end of the fight, you were one of many casualties that happened during the fight. And your fiancé Loki was holding you in his arms, clutching you closely to his chest while his sobs tore through the entire battlefield. No one seems to notice, however, because they're all too busy with their cheers, celebrations, and their big win. But not Loki, because he would never celebrate another win ever again. Not without you by his side.

''No, no, no, darling, please! Please don't leave me, I need you by my side,'' Loki sobs as he's clutching your body close to him, his head resting on your lifeless chest. No more heartbeat to be felt, no more breath to be heard, no more movement to be seen. When he looks into your eyes he sees nothing but emptiness. Staring into nothing, cold, lifeless eyes staring back at him. Those eyes he fell in love with years ago, that always showed nothing but love for him, that looked at him with nothing but adoration, but that could also be looking so good when you were completely fucked out underneath or on top of him.

''Y/n, please,'' is the last thing he says as he holds you close to him. He can't talk anymore due to how much he's been crying, his throat is completely raw and his voice is practically non-existent. He screamed so much, heart-wrenching screams and cries could be heard for miles and miles, yet no one cared. No one but him, or so he thought. Because looking from a small distance was Thor because Loki isn't the only one who lost you that faithful day, Thor lost the woman he loved like his sister, but he's keeping his pain inside, trying to be strong for Loki. He allowed a few tears to stream down his cheeks, but he quickly got himself back together as he walked over to his brother.

''Brother, she's gone. There's nothing we can do for her,'' he says, almost matter-of-factly, and it scares Loki a little. Usually, he was the one who was cold, direct, and didn't care about what others felt. But when it comes to you, he would give everything to be in your place. You deserved to live such a long life, but you didn't get the chance. You don't get to live the life you'd always dreamt of, the one you and Loki have talked about so many times. The one that got ripped away from you without a second thought. Loki could do nothing but sob, he couldn't think, he couldn't speak, he could barely breathe. The crying has taken over his entire being as he softly places kisses all over your face as a last goodbye.

Loki knows he has to leave you behind, but he can't get himself to do it. He can't get himself to set you down, get up and walk away. Doing that would mean goodbye. And he isn't ready for that, he would never be ready to say goodbye to the love of his life. ''I can't,'' he whispers, and Thor just sits down by his side. He knows that there is no point in convincing him otherwise. Shortly after, the other Avengers are slowly sitting around the two of you in a big circle. Everyone is either crying, looking at you and Loki, or holding each other tight as they're starting to accept the fact that their teammate is no longer with them.

No one says anything, just letting Loki do what he has to to let you go. But he can't, he will never be able to let you go, because this goodbye wasn't supposed to happen. He had closed your eyes by now because he wasn't able to look at your eyes without feeling a sharp pain across his chest. He did notice all the Avengers surrounding the two of you, and he felt like your entire family was here, grieving you. He knows he isn't alone in this, but it hurts him so much, he can't think about anything else but you. Your smile, your laughter, your mischievous looks, oh how he loved those looks when you thought of a new plan to annoy or prank someone.

That is exactly the reason he fell for you, and he fell hard. Literally. Because when you were relatively new to the Avengers, you heard about the God of Mischief himself and immediately thought of a plan to prank him. It was such a simple, stupid trick but it worked wonders every single time, and you almost peed yourself from laughter when it worked. You were in the kitchen and told everyone who was there, that you hung a string in the hallway to the kitchen, except for Loki. All the others noticed it and stepped over it, but Loki didn't, and since he was in a heated discussion with Thor (who almost tripped too, thank you very much), he never noticed it and fell flat on his face, a deep groan leaving his chest as he went down, and a loud thud could be heard when he made contact with the floor.

You immediately started laughing so hard your stomach started to hurt, and you could barely breathe, laying on the floor trying to catch your breath, and it was the most wonderful thing Loki had ever seen. When he got up he wanted to get mad, but when he saw you it all melted away instantly, and he knew he was a goner from that moment on. ''So, you're the one who pulled this little stunt?'' Loki asked when you were finally able to breathe again, and you nodded with a wide smile. ''I can't believe I managed to get the literal God of Mischief with such a single prank!'' you said. ''I'm Y/N Y/L/N btw, it's nice to meet you,'' you said with an outstretched hand, which he took in his hand and brought to his lips, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. ''Loki Laufeyson, it's an absolute honor to meet you,''.

When he thought back to that moment he smiled a little through his tears, shaking his head. ''You always loved to prank people,'' he whispered to you, as best as he could. ''And I loved you even more because of it,'' he said, remembering everything you did, either with or without him. Because when the two of you were together, no one in the Compound would be safe. ''I'm going to miss her,'' Steve said finally, and everyone agreed. ''We all love her, Loki, always remember that. She fought and died doing what she loved, and we will always love her. She will always be one of us, and I promise that she will never be forgotten,'' he then said, making Loki nod softly as he placed one more kiss on your forehead. ''I love you, darling. I promise that I will find you in every single lifetime after this one,'' and with those words, he set you down and got up. Walking away, because he couldn't handle staying there any longer.

~ One week after the battle ~

The last week has been hard for Loki, he barely came out of his room and hasn't eaten anything since he arrived back at the Compound. He hasn't talked to anyone either, he was grieving the loss of the woman he was going to marry soon. A marriage that would never take place now, and it ate away at him. The Avengers just let him be, only Thor came to check up on him every few hours. ''I'm going to get her the funeral she deserves,'' Loki suddenly says, already thinking of the plan that he was going to use. ''She doesn't deserve to just be shoved into a mass grave with all the other people that died,'' he said, tears staining his cheeks again. He has barely stopped crying, the only moments he didn't cry were when exhaustion took over his body and lulled him into a restless sleep filled with nightmares.

It isn't long after that, that Loki barges into the SHIELD headquarters, dead set on getting you the funeral you deserve, because you died a hero. He searched the entire building until he finally found the person he was looking for, the one and only Nicholas Joseph Fury himself. ''She needs to get the funeral she deserves, she doesn't get to be thrown into a fucking mass grave with all these other nameless people like she meant nothing,'' Loki said, raising his voice at Fury immediately. He wasn't fazed in the slightest, however, and didn't react to Loki. ''Do you fucking hear me? She died a hero to save all our asses, she doesn't deserve what she got!'' he yells at him and Fury finally looked up at the God.

''No, she doesn't get one. She may have fought just like the rest of them, but I know for sure she didn't die a hero,'' he says. ''She doesn't get a funeral, because no one who died that day gets a funeral, and your fiancée isn't going to be the exception to this rule,'' he says and Loki can't believe this. ''You're fucking kidding me, right? She died so we had a chance to live. She died so we could win the battle, which is more than can be said about you. YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE!'' Loki says before storming out of Fury's office, wreaking havoc wherever he goes, destroying the building with his magic, and not giving a single damn about anyone that gets injured.

When he's outside he just opens a random car with his magic, gets into the driver's seat, and turns it on. He drives far away from New York, away from the life he once lived, the life he shared with you because it is too painful to stay there and be constantly reminded of you. He drove for hours and hours until he couldn't contain his emotions anymore, and he stopped on the side of the road in a town called Westview. He got out of the car and dropped to his knees, screaming until his lungs burn, until every single muscle in his body is giving out and he falls onto the ground, his knees hitting the pavement with a loud thud. He doesn't care however, he doesn't care about the pain, because it's nothing compared to the loss he feels.

He can't contain his tears, and turns into a sobbing, screaming mess on the verge of a nervous breakdown. When he keeps thinking about you, he tips himself over the edge and a large burst of magic bursts out of him. ''FUCK, FUCK, FUUUUCK!'' is all he can scream at this point, rocking back and forth as he's almost folded into himself, his hands on the back of his head, heart-wrenching screams leaving his chest, tears streaming down his bright red face, eyes completely bloodshot from the hours and hours of crying. The exhaustion catches up with him once again and he completely blacks out on the side of the road. His body can't take anymore, and it shut down completely to save himself.

A little while later he wakes up again and is very disoriented, but as he gets up the pieces fall into place. SHIELD headquarters, the drive, his nervous breakdown, everything comes back to him. And right at that moment a thought hit him, and he's mad at himself for not thinking about this sooner. ''I'm going to bring you back, darling. I can't wait to see you again,'' he says and he creates a huge dome around himself, trapping the thousands of people in Westview inside of it, but he doesn't realize it. When the dome is created he uses his magic to create a new reality within it. He walks through the streets and when he is walking past an ice cream shop, he suddenly spots a very familiar face.

''Loki? Is that you?'' you hear as the person who the voice belongs to walks out the door, and towards him. ''Y/N, you're here,'' he sighs and he pulls you in for a big hug. You're not real, but in the fake reality Loki created you are, and the two of you are still engaged to be married. He finds it hard to believe he did it, and that he's holding you in his arms once again. When you pull back you feel his lips on yours again, and it's like not a single minute had gone by since the last time you kissed. ''I love you, so much. And I can't wait to marry you,'' you tell him, and he nods. ''Neither can I, darling. I'm looking forward to it more than you'll ever know,'' he says, touching your face with his hands, rubbing circles on your cheek.

There is one thing Loki failed to notice, however. Everyone in this town that already lived there, is feeling the pain Loki is experiencing alongside him, because he trapped everyone inside his head, inside the reality he created for himself. All he notices is you, and how good it feels to have you back with him, right where you belong, and he doesn't have to feel his pain anymore. His most precious artifact is back, and he plans to never let you go, ever again. He can't go through the pain of losing you again, and he doesn't plan on doing so.

#loki laufeyson #loki laufeyson fanfiction #loki laufeyson request #loki laufeyson x female reader #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson x y/n #loki laufeyson angst #loki #loki fanfiction #loki request #loki x female reader #loki x reader #loki x y/n #loki angst

[sweetpandorabox]

Blood Purity - Draco Malfoy x Female Reader (Part 1)

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨sweetpandorabox୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎…⋙

Synopsis: Keeping your family's Blood Purity and having high values when it comes to Intelligence and wisdom, is a duty and a sacred tradition all your family members of all generations have to follow. Getting sorted into Ravenclaw proving your worth, and following in your ancestor's footsteps, and keeping an Outstanding grade all the way through in Hogwarts kept your parents happy and proud, but not yet joyful. After 7 years of your Hogwarts journey coming to an end, they expect you to marry into a powerful pure-blooded family. As they take matters into their own hands your parents arranged a marriage for you based on a deal, to a boy who came from a powerful and pure-blooded family who you've despised for years.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

Story Setting: The story is set in the year the 2000s, 2 years after the Battle of Hogwarts takes place, you and Draco were born in the 80s which would make the two of you around 20 years old in this Fanfiction. (anything in italic and bolded is a flashback scene btw)

Terms 📖:

Y/N - Your name

Y/H/C - Your hair color

Y/E/C - Your eye color

Warnings⚠️: Forced Proximity, Arguments, Bullying, Swearing and Slight Sexual Themes.

A/N: Hey cuties, sorry I've been gone for a while but I'm finally back, I wanted to start writing for Draco Malfoy because I actually love him, he's my 2nd Favorite Harry Potter boy and thought a forced proximity trope would be good and it would fit so well with the life he had in the Harry Potter books, but yeah I hope you enjoy this one I'm not used to writing something with a darker atmosphere and a more mature fanfiction here but I'm trying lol. love you. xx

Word Count: 1,959

The warm fireplace distributes its warm heat throughout the Malfoy Manor's dining hall, saving you from the cool winds of spring outdoors. The sounds of a crackling fire, quiet chatters, and sounds of cutlery being used against the delicate china plates plastered with grey floral designs played harmonically in your ear as you kept your eyes glued down on your plate of food, putting on a somewhat neutral face toying around with the contains you've been served without taking a single bite. "Y/N, at around 11pm tomorrow, you'll have to meet me and Narcissa at Sinclair's Weddings at Diagon Alley, it's for your dress fitting" your mother mentioned with a proud smile peeking through her lips, you raised your head up, and face to your right with a confused look watching your Mother takes a bite of her food, "But Mother, we've only been engaged for two weeks?" you asked with suspense trailing behind your voice, "Oh don't be silly Y/N, you and Draco are perfect for each other, it isn't worth waiting any longer," she replies sharing a smile with Narcissa from across the table as Narcissa did vise versa, "And besides everything has been taken care off, like the official date, venue, the food, the guest. You and Draco will love it" she continued. As silence roams back to the dinner table everyone continues to eat, you take a moment to pause and shift your gaze across the table to the blonde boy, focusing his pair of striking grey eyes solely on his food keeping his mouth shut and his head low.

You watched as he eyed down his food, showing no interest in anyone else taking a mouthful bite. Draco Lucius Malfoy goes far beyond your earliest memories of Hogwarts, known to be a bully and a Slytherin prince he paints a picture of himself as a snob and vile evil person, yet cowardice who enjoys taunting others for his own amusement, he gets anything and everything he wants no matter the circumstances as well. You kept to yourself most of the time during your Hogwarts years as a quiet and reserved Ravenclaw, having friends from all 4 houses and not favoring one over the other, you treated everybody equally, overlooking their blood status despite your family's belief, in 4th year however you've taken fond of Ronald Weasley who came from a pure-blooded yet poor family, you started dating him for 2 years but you don't find it easy in the slightest, as constant tournament form Draco swarms over you and Ron, he'd make snarky comments about you and the blood traitor as he calls him. Regular filthy stares came from Draco if you and Ron would show any amount of affection towards each other, because if it wasn't the harsh/shameful comments or filthy stares, Draco always finds another way to break whatever the two of you had.

"So I take it you'll be coming to my manor tomorrow night, make sure you put on that royal blue slip-on dress you always wear, you know the one with the sweetheart neckline, I find it quite alluring" Draco commented as he circle you with his minions chuckling, giving you a smirk and a playful wink. Ron stares in confusion between the two of you, realizing what had just happened you hold on to Ron's wrist, dragging him away quickly from the trio making sure you master up the dirtiest look you can give to the blonde boy, bumping his shoulder as you walk past fiercely drowning the sounds of wicked laughter behind you down. After the past event, Ron grew suspicious and demanded answers to what Draco meant earlier, not wanting to argue with your then-boyfriend you had no choice but to reveal a secret that nobody else knew about, "Ron, please just listen to me... The Malfoys and The Callahan have always been a close-knit group due to their mutual obsession over blood purity. Malfoy's mother and mine happen to be best of friends ever since their Hogwarts years, we have dinner parties with the Malfoys once every fortnight, that's all he meant by that...and since Christmas break is coming up, Draco and I will be home so it seems to be the perfect opportunity to have one in awhile... that's all I promise," you pleaded with guilt. Learning that information made Ron angry, as he decided to keep himself from you for days after that.

3 days have passed since Ron has last spoken to you, growing tired of his ignorance, you march up to the Slytherin table angrily, you scan the Slytherin table for a bleach-blonde head full of hair, and as you spot him you dash right over "Can I talk to you for a minute?" You ask, crossing your arm in frustration, matching the facial expression you displayed. Draco smirks, wasting no time and trails behind you as he leaves his group of unbothered Slytherins. You both settled outside the quiet hallway, leaving the great hall behind before you converse, "Malfoy, I really don't appreciate the comment you made 3 days ago... I mean, what are you honestly trying to do? Can't you see I'm happy?" you huffed out in frustration looking up at the tall figure, as his grey eyes pierced down at your small frame, he paused taken aback by your frustration before scoffing "What am I trying to do?... What am I trying to do? you're really asking that Callahan? he's a blood traitor. You can do so much better than that filthy Gryffindor... when are you going to realize your family would never accept him for who he is" he commented, without realizing how close he was getting to you, you backed up into the stone-cold wall, keeping eye contact with him, as he rests one of his hand on the wall by your head pinning you down.

Tensions spike up high between the two of you as your body comes closer and closer together. "When are you going to realize that your happiness could be right in front of you this whole time?" Draco blurted leaning his soft face closer to you and tilting his head, your cheek changed its shade into crimson red before you broke eye contact hearing footsteps walking away to your left cutting the tight tension, you watched as your loving boyfriend stormed away from what he'd seen, You panicked as he kept going never to look back at you, "Ron...Ron come back" you pleaded, pushing Draco away from you as you run after the Weasley boy leaving Malfoy on his own. The next day Ron breaks it off with you quick, for the very first time you feel as though you aren't worthy of any happiness as your heartbreak drives you into despair, you miss out on meals, frequently find yourself sobbing, and eventually watch as Ron fell in love with Hermione, from that day on you swore to yourself that you despise and hated Draco Malfoy and you will never change your mind about him. The sudden flashback made you fidgety as you smoothed out your old silky royal blue, slip-on dress. The one you've had since you were a teenager not having grown much physically making it fit you like a glove. After dinner has ended, you join your family in expressing their gratitude for the delicious meal and farewells to the Malfoys, completely ignoring Draco as he seems to do with you anyway. You embrace your future mother-in-law Narcissa warmly as she does vice versa and give your future father-in-law Lucious a firm yet polite smile as he smiles back and nods to show his understanding.

Dobby the house elf clicked his finger towards the grand, wooden double door to open it revealing an exit point for you, and your parents finally departing away from the Malfoy manor as you Apparate back to your own mansion, located not far from your fiancé's, ending the night in a blur as you quickly try and sleep it off in order to mentally prepare yourself for the dress fitting your mother and your mother in law has so wonderfully booked and plan. After the battle of Hogwarts took place in 1998 you went back to Hogwarts to finish your 7th year around the same time as Hermione Granger did, making sure you have all the qualifications needed to find the best job that the Wizarding World offers, even if a job isn't necessary for you to have because of the amount money your family has inherited over generations. During the battle of Hogwarts, you weren't actually present at all, since Narcissa warns your mother about the secret attack and plans that the Dark Lord schemes for Potter and how dangerous this war is, so she advised your mother to keep you home and not let you return for your 7th year, and although Narcissa isn't supportive of the Dark Lord at all she is supportive of her Husband and Son, so she has to be present there, but it doesn't mean she can't warn her best friend, your mother, and her family to stay safe and not partake in the war whatsoever and to let it pass you. So that's what your mother and father agreed on doing, keeping you home after explaining the circumstances to you.

Your eyes started to glimmer as salty tears started to fog up your vision, you were distraught by the news and realized that the people you care about over at Hogwarts like your friends and some of the professors who had made a real impact on you might potentially lose their lives over this war. You wanted to help badly, you wanted to be there to protect the ones you care about, but your parents will never allow it as they fear the worst and might end up losing their one and only child, so you slump and cry over it for days in your grand mansion until you've heard the news a week later that most people have survived the war including the Malfoy's and that the Dark Lord was finally conquered. It took a while, but Hogwarts was rebuilt soon after that, and once September rolled back around Hogwarts was ready to bring in young witches and wizards who were ready to embark on their early education, and even welcome those who were not able to finish their last year back with open arms. You studied hard and kept very much focused on all your classes to the point where your NEWT marks show only Outstanding grades all across, simply showering your parents with great pride and joy to have you as their daughter. This time around you sort of hated the idea of leaving school after graduating, Hogwarts was a nicer and much simpler place without some knucklehead like Draco Malfoy running around taunting people or trying to pull your pisser almost every day to annoy and ruin your schooling experience.

You enjoyed your time at Hogwarts without him, but you do tend to wonder if he was alright, or how he's doing or coping after the war. Your mother and father haven't gotten in touch with the Malfoy for a couple of months now as they went into hiding in their own mansion and kept quiet to themselves, laying low in order to keep them from trouble with the Ministry as they potentially find out the ties that the Malfoy family had with the Dark Lord, so for a while, there weren't many connections between the Callahan's and the Malfoy's, a period of time where you enjoyed life as it is because the one person you truly despise and hated is gone from your life, just like you wanted it too.

Taglist : @igncrantbliss @milivanili99 @nighttimemoonlover @el-de-phi

!Click here for part 2!

#draco malfoy #draco fanfiction #draco x reader #draco lucius malfoy #hp fanfic #hp fanfcition #hp fandom #wizarding world #hogwarts #slytherin #malfoy manor #forced proximity #romantic #harry potter imagine #harry potter #draco malfoy oneshot #draco malfoy angst #draco x you #ravenclaw #spicy reads #draco smut #dark romance #draco fic #draco malfoy imagine #female reader #draco x y/n #hp imagine #hp #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter series

[ryozaki21]

diary of the heartbreakers;

00z series

╰┈➤ Diary of the Heartbreakers; 00z series

➸ ♡ They used to be the ones breaking hearts, but when karma comes around, suddenly the don't know what to do. Navigate through college life with your favorite idiots, and read through the Diary of the Heartbreakers.

GENRES: College AU, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Humour

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, drug abuse, Infidelity, Toxic relationships/characters, Heavy topics discussed, player!00z, Language and Violence.

AUTHOR's NOTE: I thought long and hard about making this a series, because of my commitment issues and I don't trust myself to commit to a writing project like this TT, But since I have story ideas for these characters, (00z) I just linked all of them together. SLOW UPDATE. Also my first time doing a series, how about that?!? I hope you guys like it!

DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fanfiction. Only the names of the Idols are used, and does not reflect on them in real life. There's no way in any shape of form that they are like this in person, because I MADE IT UP. I don't personally know them. DO NOT STEAL / TRANSLATE / MODIFY. This is my work and I don't appreciate people stealing it. Thank you.

╰┈➤ After You

➸ ♡ Na Jaemin had it easy. Loved by everybody, the man of everyone's dream. He's a perfect mix of a charmer and a player. Girls begged to be his, and he loved every part of it. Life used to be so fucking perfect for him. Then comes you. You're like an old book, ink fading, cover tearing, but he swears you're worth the read. Before you, life was easy. After you? He wasn't so sure.

"Break my heart, and you'll find yourself inside."

GENRE: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Mature themes

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, Language, Mental Illness, Drugs/Alcohol usage, toxic!reader, fuckboy!Jaemin (but still a sweetheart)

AUTHOR's NOTE: Oh, this one's heavy. Much serious than the other stories and quite one that's holds some sensitive topics. If I get some things wrong about certain topics, please do tell me and I'll quickly correct it. Enjoy reading!

Expected WC: 15k

STATUS: published

╰┈➤ Yours, Inevitably

➸ ♡ To say that Lee Jeno is pretty would be an understatement. The man's gorgeous. One thing he uses to his advantage, going through college getting girls he spots his eyes on. But there's one he just couldn't get. His brother's bestfriend. You can continue and avoid your feelings for each other, but eventually, it'll happen. You were someone that stayed, a constant in his life. You might not know it, but for the years you've known Lee Jeno, he slowly became yours, inevitably.

"I should've known that it was you, because no one else made sense."

GENRE: Fluff, Angst, Humour, Smut

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, Language, Alcohol usage, Mentions of Drugs, fuckboy!Jeno, brothersbsf!reader

AUTHOR's NOTE: This story was collecting dust on my drafts for so longg! Originally I was gonna post it as a stand-alone but figured it made sense to be a part of this series. One of my faves. Also lots of other members of nct mentioned. Enjoy reading!

Expected WC: 8k-10k

STATUS: published

╰┈➤ The Fine Art of Rejection

➸ ♡ Huang Renjun, the sweetie of the year, is one hard star to catch. Not as easy as his other friends, he's quite difficult to have. Although he has a fair share of affairs with girls, it is considered to be a rare occurence. But you? Oh boy were you something. You were quite head over heels over him. His friends could never understand, but you were persistent to get the boy. No matter how much he refuses your advances, Its like you found art in rejection. But to what degree can you hold it out?

"I can be everything I want, but fuck, I only wanted to be yours. Even though you couldn't be mine."

GENRE: Unrequited love, Humour, Fluff, Angst, Smut

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Language, Explicit sexual content, Alcohol Usage, cheerleader!reader, Renjun is sometimes rude lol

AUTHOR's NOTE: Actually, I wanted to write something pure fluffy for Renjun, but I figured I need to put a sprinkle (more than that actually lmao) of angst. Also my favorite plot to write. Enjoy reading!

Expected WC: 8k-10k

STATUS: published

╰┈➤ Illicit Affairs

➸ ♡ Infamous for being every girl's guilty pleasure, Lee Haechan strutted through his life shamelessly. But recently, the new girl caught his eye. Im Hayeon, who he believes that would finally tame his wreckless heart. He was confident he could get the girl. And when he did, he never expected her to have baggages. For example, you, Im Hayeon's best friend. Who suddenly, sparked an idea on his pretty little head. You're trouble-- and you're making Haechan commit Illicit Affairs.

"You're making me do bad things, very, bad things. But then again, I'm no stranger in being the bad guy."

GENRE: Fluff, Angst, Humour, Smut

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Language, Explicit sexual content, Alcohol Usage, Infidelity, Haechan and reader is kind of an asshole

AUTHOR's NOTE: okay, for one, i don't condone cheating. its just for the story! also i won't tackle on it too much-- literally just for the plot. Enjoy reading!

Expected WC: 8k-10k

STATUS: published

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

© ryozaki21 2023

#nct #nct dream #lee jeno #nct imagines #nct x reader #kpop imagines #nct aus #kpop au #kpop oneshots #lee haechan #huang renjun #na jaemin #neo culture technology #nct fanfic #kpop fanfic #nct angst #nct fluff #nct smut #nct scenarios #haechan x you #jeno x reader #jaemin x reader #renjun x reader #nct 127

[sleepy-writersblock]

Miguel O’hara x reader|| roomates (pt 1??)

Authors note: wrote this after an experience i had with an ai bot- so yeah its a little stupid but i find it funny

No use of y/n ; you dont know that he is spiderman ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ; fem written in mind but ig it could be whoever? (I think?); NOT proofread.

Mdni

———————-

Miguel o’hara. He is Your roomate and one hell of a man. You guys had been living together for about two years now after you couldnt fully afford an appartment on your own and decided to share one with somebody. And god was it interesting

You were sitting on your bed, laptop open and reading, when Miguel walks to your room and leans on your doorframe. Oh no, not just against your doorframe, but against it, with only shorts on, and wet hair.

“Hey, can I ask you a favor?” He says scratching the back of his head, running his hands through his damp hair.

You look up at him and right back down to your screen to avoid eye-contact. Its like he does this on purpous, its like he sees your face, sees the blush. You almost want to ignore him so a stutter wouldnt fall from your mouth, but you can just ignore him.

“Uhm- yeah, what can i do?” You ask back still wildly embarassed. Its a common occurrence, so you arent sure why it effects you so much.

Wait- wait no. You know exactly why. Its because you are head over heels with him.

Sure you have some other celebrity crushes but him? He beats all of them.

“Could i have one of my shirts back, i let you borrow some and i need to do laundry today-“ he responds.

Oh. Was that it?

“Uh yeah let me get you one really quick” you say standing up and walking to your closet. Before you can grab a shirt for him he makes his way over to your bed and sits down.

“What were you watching?” He asks referencing your laptop as he picks it up.

Okay its time to panic. The thing you were reading? Spiderman fanfiction. He was one of your celebrity crushes and you couldnt let Miguel know, he would tease you for the rest of your life, and not only did you read that stuff? You wrote it.

You drop the shirt and run back reaching fir the lap top, climbing on top of him as he pulls it away from you further. Panicked you reach for it as far as you can, going as far as clawing at him to get it back.

“Whoah whoah whats in here that i cant see?” He teases

“Miguel please dont! Thats uh- just a book!” You reply back still fighting to get that laptop back.

“Well with how you are reacting it isnt just some book hmm?” He laughs back. You can see his eyes scanning the digital characters, word by word his face grows redder. You still attempt to reach for it but it was just too late.

“Tsk- spiderman huh? You like him?” He says smirking. He had to be teasing you right? You swear normally he would have taken a picture of it and show it to you every now and again in the future to embarass you. But he is being so nonchalant.

“D-dont read farther-!“ you warn him. You recognize the page number, as this was one of your works, and ahead was some of the most mind corrupting media you have ever produced.

You see his eyes scan the pages as you lie helpless, still sitting on his lap, Avoiding eye contact with the brown-haired male. He chuckles as his face grows a deeper red. As he reads on the story seems a bit too familiar. The roomate of the ‘reader’ is actually spiderman, they fall in love and have fun. The roomate. Could it be him? Of course its him, you indulge in your deepest fantasies when you read and write.

“Wow- this is some good writing, too bad you dont have a spiderman roomate” he says winking at you. Wait- winking-

“H-huh?” You exclaim

“Oh come on, its obvious who this ‘tall, dark haired, spanish speaker roomate’ is” he says giving you a smirk. He leans in to where you are sitting on his lap and brushes his lips against yours.

“And i could help you re-create this book. Scene. By. Scene” he chuckles darkly.

Thats it- your brain dosnt work anynore. The way his voice darkened and he leaned in made you lose it. You leaned in to close the small soace between you- you finally kissed him. And he kissed back, hard. There was only one way that this could go any better, and that would be if he was spider man… but thats just wishful thinking. Plus. You had a long night ahead.

#miguel o’hara #spiderman #spiderverse #fanfic #miguel o’hara x reader #spicy?? #no use of y/n

[sillygoobermanlol]

MIGUEL O'HARA X GN VILLAIN SPIDER READER

Miguel O’hara X GN spider reader

DISCRIPTION: You were best friends with Miguel O’hara ever since highschool. he was always a dork but he was there for you, he stood up for you, and you admired every bit of him. That is until he died, you didn’t know how to deal with his death and started working for some bad people using your spider abilities for bad bad things, until a strange portal opens up in your world.

This is legit my first time ever publishing some of my writing and it just so happens to be a Miguel fanfiction because hes been my hyperfixation for a few months now lol, I want feedback because I might not keep updating, if i do its gonna go on AO3 when I get my account. I have some good stuff planned I just wanna know if people like it so far. ^_^

Reader is GN but specifically transmasc so there MIGHT be some references to that throughout the story so idkidkidkdikddahhagagahvsgsh

Earth 1317

You were best friends with Miguel O’hara ever since highschool. he was always a dork but he was there for you, he stood up for you, and you admired every bit of him.

You have been living together for two months now, both of you had graduated and now Miguel was in college studying whatever nerds study. You weren’t to interested in Miguel’s work it always bored you in everyway but you still pretended to be interested when he ranted about it.

Miguel made his way down the hallway of your shared small apartment, he opened the door to your messy room flipping on the switch causing you to squint your eyes due to the harsh sudden light, “Dude!” you say covering your eyes. You had been searching for a job for the past few weeks in order to help Miguel with the bills but due to your piercings and careless attitude you were getting nowhere, he had offered to help you look.

“I’ve got good news do you wanna hear it or not?” he said leaning on the door frame, you snarled, you hated when he dangled information over your head. “sure whatever.” you huffed, fidgeting with your hands, “good. because Alchemax desperately needs a janitor, they will pretty much take anyone at this rate.” he said with a tone that almost made you laugh. You weren’t too crazy about the idea of being a JANITOR the idea made your head hurt, don’t the nerds at Alchemax keep the place clean enough? you thought. “A janitor??” you groaned,

Miguel furrowed his eyebrows, “You don’t have many options, plus I think this could be a good learning experience for you” he said gesturing to your room, you threw a pillow at him. “you’re such an ass,” you said holding back a smile, “But seriously, this is the ONLY thing you could find?” you pouted, he said your name sternly “You need this. plus I get to see you at work,” his expression softened to something more empathetic.

You sighed finding his expression convincing, “yeah okay.” you mumbled, “Look I know this isn’t the most exciting job, but you’re gonna be fine,” he sat on your bed causing the mattress to sink with him, “I know.” you looked up at him, dark circles under his eyes from countless nights of intense researching, he wore square black glasses and his eyes were a deep brown. you slumped on your bed looking up at the ceiling, “I just wish it were better you know?”

“It will, I swear we just have to give it time.” he said softly, you smiled at him. “Yeah alright O’hara I just better not be cleaning up any shit.”

The next day Miguel woke you up, he wakes up earlier then you for work and you hated this. He watched you with a cup of coffee in his hand as you struggled groggily through your morning, you brushed your teeth and angrily at your cereal. when It was finally time to leave you both walked to the bus stop because neither of you had a car. Miguel thought this was a good opportunity for exercise, and of course you hated this. he was always a pretty muscular guy considering the fact that he was always hidden away in his lab, he was also tall and caught the attention of a lot of people but never seemed to return it.

You arrived at Alchemax, the place was fucking massive. people in lab coats swarming the place, you thought about running as fast as you could out of there but remembered your conversation with Miguel. He also wore a lab coat that went down to the back of his knees, Miguel greeted more of his nerdy work buddies as the both of you made your way inside the building. In the hallways you could see inside the labs, every room made for something different. Miguel had to pull you away from some of them urging you to continue the tour he was giving you.

As you walked down the hallway there were tables holding more sciencey stuff, you reached out to touch but Miguel grabbed your hand. “Okay, ground rules. DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING or even THINK about it either, got it?” he said sternly, “ohhkayyyyy.” you mocked him, “I’m serious, this place isn’t a joke.” he said continuing to walk, you caught up with him, “Well im gunna need to touch things if I’m gonna work here,” you smiled. “Don’t be a smartass,” he said pointing a finger at you.

You stopped at a door where Miguel took out some keys, it must’ve been his lab. He flipped on the lights and it wasn’t nearly as exciting as the others were,  “Alright, stay here I'll bring in my boss so he can meet you, then you can start cleaning up the shit or whatever,” he explained. You huffed at that last line, “yup.” you said holding up a thumb slumping in one of his rolley chairs. He made his way to the door you both entered in and turned to face you again “Don’t fuck this up,” he said pointing at you.

When he left the room was quiet, tooooo quiet. You spun around in the chair Miguel’s words ringing in your ears “Dont fuck this up.” I wouldn’t fuck this up you thought, but your boredom was starting to get the best of you. You got up from the chair roaming around Miguel’s lab, lots of paper work you thought. Your eyes finally made your way to the door, he wouldn’t be mad if I just peaked into another room right?

And you did just that, most rooms had more lab nerds in them but a dark room peaked your interest. The door was left open, this is totally not sketchy you thought. Nobody was in this room, in the dark you could see the glistening of test tubes, you squatted down to one of them. Spiders. A shit ton of them too ,you rested your hands on the table not noticing the little critter that crawled onto your hand exploring your fingers until it found a place to BITE. The pain caught your attention you shook your hands sucking the air in through your teeth.

Seconds after Miguel burst into the room “What are you doing? I told you to stay!” he scolded dragging you out of the room, he pinched the bridge of his nose lifting his glasses in the process. You were still holding your bitten hand feeling guilty now, “¿Qué voy a hacer contigo?” he sighed. You knew he was pissed when he spoke in Spanish.

“Look I’m sorry, can we just go?” you said almost teary eyed, the meeting with Miguel’s boss was boring for the most part other then the fact that you couldn’t stop sweating. You felt tired all of a sudden blaming it on the fact that you had woken up so early, when you got home you basically jumped face first onto your bed. You had gotten the job, you were happy but something just didn’t feel right. Miguel was kinda pissed at you for running off too, and you didn’t blame him, you slept the rest of the day away.

The next morning the light peaking through your curtains felt more intense, you groaned and covered your face with your blanket. It had felt like you had ridden 100 roller coasters, when you uncovered your face again it felt worse. Your ears rang and you were so sweaty, your door opened, that sound even was louder than usual. It was Miguel, “alright sleepyhead time for work,” he said tugging at your blanket. “Miguel, it feels like im gunna puke,” you whined, he said your name “Please no excuses, it’s your first day get up.” he said less playfully, but after seeing the beads of sweat on your forehead he moved closer.

He placed a hand on your head, “Jesus, your burning up.” his voice now a whisper, when he removed his hand he sighed and rubbed his face, “You’re lucky my boss liked you, I can cover for you but just this once okay?” his voice sounded empathetic but stern,  you nodded your head.

About an hour after Miguel left you finally got the strength to roll out of bed, mostly because you were so oddly hungry. You made your way to the kitchen closing every single curtain until it was dark enough for you, grabbing the milk you sat it on the table now reaching for your favorite cereal you pour a good amount before attempting to put the box down realizing it was completely stuck to your hand.

You struggle a bit, shaking your hands frantically causing cereal to fly everywhere, you slip on a few pieces of cereal and now you’re on the floor and magically the box is now unstuck from your hands landing right on your face. You lay there for a few seconds trying to process whatever the fuck just happened, you lift your hands to your face closely observing them. “What the actual fuck.” you whisper to yourself.

The rest of the day was even weirder, more stuff sticking to your hands, you even caught a fucking fly in mid air, What was going on with you? Later on in the day you decided to get some fresh air, you needed to think, maybe you were going crazy? After your walk you made your way back home, catching Miguel entering your apartment at the same time as you were, he notices you, “Don’t tell me that whole sick thing this morning was just to get out of work.” he grumbled staring directly at you, you stood there not really knowing what to say.

Should you tell him? every thought raced through your head, yet all that came out was “No, im just feeling better maybe it was just a bug.” you say walking past him into your apartment, your tone worried him, Miguel headed in after you. He sighed putting down his bag so he could tend to you, “Okay, what’s going on with you? he said softly, you shrugged with your hands still in your pockets while looking down at the floor. “You know I care about you right, you can talk to me. I know I can be so….strong at times, but I care I really do.” it almost sounded like he was scolding you, his words were strong and you knew he meant what he said, they must’ve really pulled at your heartstrings because the next thing you know you were in tears.

Miguel was by your side as you sobbed, holding you close to his chest. “I just…don’t know whats wrong with me.” you said in between sobs, “There’s nothing wrong with you, tonto,” he slowly rocked you back and fourth until you calmed down. “Thank you,” you said wiping your eyes with your sleeve, you wouldn't know what you'd do if he weren't here. you both were on the couch now as he held you, “I’m always gonna be here for you, just like you’re always there for me, alright?” he said with a warm smile.

And he was, all the way until the end.

#miguel o'hara #miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader #miguel x y/n #gn reader #transmasc reader #Miguel x transmasc reader #miguel x gn reader #miguel x you #into the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman miguel #miggy #miguel o'hara x male reader #mlm fiction #spiderverse #miguel o'hara x ftm reader #ftm reader

[anthemofgvf]

Endless Summer: Josh Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction

Part Seven

description: you and sammy have been best friends since you were kids, and being around his family was the norm your entire life. when invited to a trip to their family lake house during the summer, you find yourself spending more time with his brother than your best friend. and, one thing has been clear your entire friendship: brothers are off limits.

warnings for this series: alcohol and marijuana usage, explicit content (18+, minors dni), angst, swearing

word count: 8.8k+

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Slight shifting in your sleep, sniffling every few seconds to stifle your tears through the night. You were thankful you grew tired of crying and that was your way to sleep. But waking up the next morning with your body being its own alarm, you were reminded of the events of last night.

Every time you blinked to keep your eyes from their dry state, flickers of Sam's face flashed behind your lids. You had never seen someone look at you in such betrayal, let alone your best friend. For a moment, you thought it was a horrific nightmare, but with the scent of Josh's natural musk hitting your nose, you knew you were stupid to try and convince yourself that you hadn't completely broken Sam's trust for you.

And then there you were again, choking up on your hot tears and muffling yourself in Josh's chest just in case it would wake him up. It did stir him awake, and with a slight groan, he squeezed you tightly as a hand raised to the side of your head to place strangled hairs behind your ear.

You felt like apologizing for crying. For waking him up because you were riddled with such guilt. But you didn't think you'd be able to coherently say something with your throat holding itself in a knot, so you just ignored using words for now.

Josh pressed a light kiss on your forehead, rubbing his hand on your back up and down to try and soothe you. You were indecisive on whether to meet his eyes or not, but you chose too anyways.

You snaked a hand through your bodies and up to your face as you wiped your eyes clean of tears. With a few deep, collected breaths, you were able to suppress your crying and only feel the light headache that always told you that you weren't done crying, but for now, you were.

"How are you feeling?" Josh asked you hoarsely. He knew the answer; it was obvious with the lingering tears that rested in your waterlines. But he chose to bear the question anyways.

You let out an airy laugh in attempt to keep your suppressed cries down. "Like shit."

He clicked his teeth and pushed his bottom lip out enough into a pout. If a single tear fell down your cheek, he was there to wipe it free with his thumb.

You exhaled shakily, tugging on your bottom lip once your chin began to quiver. "I feel like a terrible fucking friend. I feel like this is all my fault."

He nodded slowly. "It's not your fault."

"Well, it has to be someone's, right? I'm not blaming you for this, because that's a shitty thing to do, but I think we are both in the wrong."

He gave you another nod. With a huff, he said, "I don't think we should settle on blaming each other because we are together, and Sam doesn't approve." He caressed your cheek with his thumb lightly. "You're not...you're not regretting any of this, are you?"

For a second, you hesitated. Of course, you didn't regret any of it, but regret did in fact punch you in the gut when you saw Sam's reaction. You weren't going to answer with uncertainty of how you felt, because this was not the time to lose another person and put you through more grief than you already had seemed to be in. You have always been sure of wanting Josh, despite what your best friend thought. But seeing how hurt Sam was, how disappointed he was in the both of you, gave you the impression that he would never forgive you.

"No, no I don't, Josh." You rubbed your lips together, following it with an inhale. "I just, I don't know how I'm going to face Sam again. There's now a huge elephant in the room we have to address, and I don't think I'm going to be able to do it without breaking down and feeling like I'm the wrong."

"You can't burden yourself with guilt because of him. You can't just let him make you feel shitty about your decisions because he doesn't like them. That's his own thing to deal with and get over." He cupped your cheek with his pinky finger running under your jaw to maintain eye contact with you. "I don't feel bad about anything we've done, but I do feel upset knowing I hurt him. But I'm not going to call it quits with you because he can't get a grip on the fact that we can't choose who we fall for. You said that the first night we kissed, remember?"

You gave him a quick nod. You knew he had more to say, so you watched him take a hesitant pause with an exhale and continuing.

"You can't blame yourself for having feelings, y/n. No matter how much you try to control them, they'll just end up bubbling up and consuming you until you can't fight them off anymore. Sam has every right to be upset because he's human, but he doesn't have the right to choose who you go out with. All we can do is just explain ourselves to him, and hope that he'll agree not to dismiss us because he doesn't like us together."

You slightly furrowed your brows together. "What if he doesn't want to talk to us? To see us? What if he's just so pissed off that he's decided to completely cut me off and-."

"Y/n, y/n," he gave you a quiet chuckle, rubbing your cheek with his thumb in a coaxing matter to get you to stop your rambling. "He's not going to do that. And he can't take me out of his life because we're brothers who so happen to be in a band together. You've been his best friend for so many years and this is the singular bump in the road you two have had together. If he's stuck around for this long, he's sure to listen and try to understand you and I."

You released yourself from his grasp as you rolled onto your back. You pressed the palm of your hand onto your forehead and gazed up to the ceiling. "All of this is giving me a headache," you shot your eyes to Josh, who raised himself up by his forearm and gave you a quiet laugh. "I just hope he doesn't hate me."

"Hate is a strong word." Josh cocked his head to the side and put on a sympathetic face.

"All of Sam's feelings are strong. I'm sure he feels a bit of hatred towards me, or us both. I mean, I don't blame him for feeling it."

"I know this is going to be hard to stop thinking about, but we should get some breakfast. Get up and get ready for the day so we can talk to him, alright? I'll be by your side through all of this. There's two of us in a relationship, not just one. I promise you that everything is going to-."

"Well, you promised me that he wouldn't find out the way he did, but that happened." You shot up from the bed, throwing your covers off yourself as you stood up from your mattress. You weren't sure why you were growing frustrated with Josh, maybe because he seemed to not be on the same level of hurt as you. "How can I believe that everything is going to be fine when he told me he was disappointed in me and looked at me with no remorse?" You flung your hands out from your sides. "How can I trust in you that you're going to help me fix this?"

He brought himself up on his knees and scooted over to you, flinging his legs off the bed and standing in front of you. "All I can do," he brought his hands to your face, "is promise you that I'm going to fix this - that we're going to fix this. All I can do is assure you that your pain is only temporary and that he's not going to fuck everything up because you feel guilty about it. You promised me that you wouldn't let him get in the way of us. Now, that's one promise I don't want to break." His eyes flicked between the both of yours before continuing. "Do you?"

Your eyes began to well up again with your bottom lip starting the rapid pace of shaking. He was speaking to you with a stern voice, and you weren't looking for a fight. You were just so exhausted with everything happening at once, and everything falling out of line. This wasn't in the plan; this wasn't supposed to happen. Now, you were unprepared. You were stuck staring at Josh with the thought of hesitancy.

You let out a choked breath that your throat forced you to release. "I don't, Josh. I'm just doubtful that this will all work itself out."

He brought your forehead to his lips, placing a long kiss onto it. After doing so, he brought you into his arms and had you wrapping your own around his back. "All we can do is grabble up as much hope as we can. It might take time to sort this out, but at least we can say we put the effort into making this better."

You squeezed him as tightly as your shut eyes were pressing themselves. Any tears that brewed up in your waterline had you forcing them out of your system so you could keep your composure. You were sick of crying over this, sick of feeling emotionally drained over the situation. It was the most frustrating thing to try and understand who was at fault in this, because who was to blame? It was like all of you were in the wrong, but all right in your own ways at the same time. An agonizing headache pounded at the back of your brain, and you decided that it was time to stop plaguing yourself and try to go on with the day.

You looked to Josh with your lips sealed together, nodding in understanding and bringing yourself to his lips. That kiss felt more like a promise to him. Like a promise that you weren't going to, in a sense, break up with him because of Sam. A promise to him that you weren't going to let your emotions get the best of you because Sam was a creeping thought in the back of your mind telling you that you should feel ashamed of your actions.

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You and Josh walked downstairs to Jake sitting at the island with a red coffee cup in hand. He found the both of you, smiling at the sight and placing his cup down as he folded his hands together.

"Glad to see you both awake. Haven't seen Sam yet, though." He shrugged, standing up and placing his plate into the sink. "I made him some avocado toast, but I think it's gross by now."

You looked to Josh, who gave you the same look of "he doesn't know". You could feel the knot in your throat twisting again and nausea thumping around in your stomach, but you gave yourself a moment to breathe before nodding to Josh as a sign you wanted him to speak for you.

"He's probably not going to come down. Best if you just give him his food yourself." Josh muttered with his eyes shot down to his feet.

Jake cocked his brow at the both of you, giving himself a second to look between you and Josh in confusion. "Did something happen?"

You gave him a silent nod. "He knows now." You gave a quick look to Josh, then back to his twin.

Jake's eyes widened, mouth partially hung open and pressing his tongue into his cheek. "Oh," he said, "guessing he didn't take it well?"

Flashes of his scowling face and his bitter words flew in your mind. All you could give to Jake was a shake of your head as you pressed your lips together to contain yourself from crying. There was no point in letting any tears fall to show your sadness when your body language already spoke for you of your guilt.

Josh placed his hand on your lower back in an attempt to console you. "Not at all."

"Guess that explains why he hasn't come down yet." He shrugged with a sigh. "Should I go check on him?"

"You don't think he wants to be left alone?" Josh questioned him.

Jake rolled his head to the side, then tilting it slightly back in thought. "Probably, but I'm still going to go see if he's okay. He doesn't know that I know, so maybe I'll get something out of him."

You both nodded in agreement to Jake, and he left the both of you alone to go to Sam's bedroom. You let your eyes and head follow Jake up the stairs and finally watching him disappear. You even tuned your ears to see if Sam would let him in, and when you heard the door open and close, you exhaled heavily before turning your attention back to Josh.

He had grabbed you a plate of waffles, doused in syrup, and you both joined together on the couch in the living room. You even found yourself sitting in the same spot you and Sam cuddled up together at on the sofa for the movie night.

Josh took his place next to you with a plate of his own, handing you a fork and digging into his breakfast quietly. The air was tense. There wasn't much to say, so you both just ate in silence. Eating seemed to help keep you from crying, so you just focused on the food in front of you and stuffing it into your mouth to ignore any thought of your best friend.

You found yourself with no appetite, but still eating at least half of the sticky waffles Josh grabbed for you. You left quietly to clean off your plate, then looking over to Josh who watched your every move.

He eventually picked himself up after a few moments and joined you at the sink and embraced you from behind. He placed multiple kisses along your shoulders, trailing up to your neck and cheek until you released a light giggle. He gave you a small smile, pecking your lips and continuing to watch you wash dishes with his head over your shoulder.

Eventually the day carried on and still no sight of Sam. Jake notified you that Sam was barely speaking to him and said he just wanted to be left alone, so you all agreed to carry on the day without him.

It didn’t feel right doing things without him, especially because he was the one that invited you here in the first place. Going anywhere without him made any atmosphere feel off. You couldn't pretend he wasn't in town or that he was out with friends. With Josh's hand intertwined with yours, you were reminded that Sam was alone in his room with his thoughts. Who knows if he was thinking about what you and Josh were up to, or if he was dissociating to forget about his frustrations.

You all tried occupying yourself with things to do away from the lake house, like taking a trip downtown to the shops and having dinner there. Jake wasn't affected by the situation, and you were sure that Josh was putting on his best face for you. But in your case, masking your miserable attitude wasn't as easy. And, you didn't have any energy to hide your true feelings anyways.

When you all arrived at home, you were hoping to catch Sam in the kitchen or living room. Maybe watching television or finishing up a meal. But he was still out of sight, and you were growing tired of the distance.

"Do you still want to sit around the fire tonight, y/n?" Josh pulled you to the side as Jake plopped himself on the couch.

"Yeah, yeah I do." You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. "Think I'm going to go talk to Sam, though."

Josh quirked his brows. "Do you think he'll talk to you?"

"It's childish of him to lock himself in his room all day and throw a tantrum. He has to come out sometime soon. He's here with all of us, anyways." You shrugged. "I'll just ask him if he wants to sit by the fire with us."

Josh pressed his lips to your cheek and gave you a nod. Once you left his side to make the somewhat treacherous journey to Sam's bedroom, the twins went outside to get the fire started.

You dragged your feet to his door, and although the hallway wasn't that long, it felt like a never-ending walk. As much as you wanted to see Sam, even if it had only been less than a day, you were unsure if he wanted to see you. He was notorious for holding grudges, especially about things that he highly disapproved of. But you weren't going to let that stray you away from speaking to him.

With a few seconds of hesitation, you gave a few light taps onto the brown wooden door with your knuckles and waited for a response. When none was given to you, your eyes flicked to the doorknob. Would he be upset with you that you entered without his consent?

But when did he ever knock when he'd come visit you?

You turned the doorknob slowly, placing your hand flat on the door and scanning the room quickly. He was sitting on his bed with a pair of sweat shorts, a baggy tank top and his hair tossed up into a bun. His phone screen lit up his expressionless face, but when he looked up to see you, he ignored your presence and put his eyes back onto whatever his phone had to offer.

"Hey," you gave him a small smile, leaning onto the doorframe, "we're going to sit around the firepit for a little. Do you want to join us?"

You waited for a few moments until he gave you a scoff. Looking up to you to show his stern appearance then occupying his focus on his phone screen, you just left him alone by quietly shutting his door and leaving to go to outside for the night.

When the boys saw you alone, Josh stood up quickly once he saw your face contort into one that showed your anguished feelings. Chin slightly quivering, eyes brimmed up with tears, but quickly wiping them away with a sniffle and sitting in your seat without a word. Hopefully by not speaking, you would be able to compose yourself and let your eyes go out of focus on the fire.

"Did he say anything to you?" Josh said.

"Nope. Just looked at me." You stated flatly.

"I think it's time I said something to him." Josh sighed. That caught your attention, and your eyes immediately shot up to him.

"Josh, I don't think he-."

But he cut you off right away. "He can't stay cooped up in there. We need to talk about this, whether we both say something, or one of us does. Maybe I can get him to talk to me."

Josh wasn't going to let you defer him, so you just gave him a singular nod and watched as he walked with a fast pace to the lake house. You blew air out of your mouth, shaped like an "O" with your cheeks puffed out, and relaxed fully forward with your hands folded over one another.

Without a word, Jake took a seat next to you. You weren't sure if it was so that way you wouldn't feel as lonely as you possibly could, or just a change of seating. But he poked at your arm, and your eyes left the fire to look at him.

"Do you want to talk about it? What he said?" He spoke softly with his face lit in a sympathetic expression.

You gave him a short laugh that exhaled through your nose. "I mean, there's nothing much to talk about. He just...was beyond frustrated. Completely blew up with anger." A tight-lipped smile spread on your lips. "Said he was disappointed in me. Said that Josh didn't care about his feelings to his face. It was just inhumane the way he was yelling at the both of us. I have never seen him get so upset before."

You ignored the choking sensation in your throat by clearing it away and running the back of your hand under your nose.

At first, Jake said that he was sorry. But he continued. "He's acting like this is his decision to make."

You exhaled an airy laugh, because that's all you and Josh have said as a reason to continue your relationship because it wasn't Sam's choice.

"Can I be honest with you?" Jake repositioned himself in his chair and leaned forward. When you gave him a nod in agreement, he carried on. "It's definitely a tough position you're in, which is why it's so difficult to figure out what to do. I don't blame you for being upset, but I also don't blame him for feeling the same way."

"I just, I just don't know what to do. You know, I care about the both of them so much. I don't want to break things off with Josh because of Sam, but I don't want to lose my best friend. It'd be stupid for him to want to cut me out of his life because of this, because after all, if me and Josh continue to see each other he'll have to be around me anyways. But I can't just go back to being friends with Josh after everything that's happened. I've had feelings for him for too long for me to just pretend that I never did."

Jake took your words in with a silent nod. He took a few moments to speak, just so he could come up with an answer that would give you some sort of helpful idea of what move was best to make next. "You're in a tight spot, y/n. And it's really not my place to tell you what you should do. But, if you want my advice, I'd try to talk things out with Sam. That's all you can do, honestly. He's just going to have to deal with it. Doesn't mean that he should immediately be okay with it, but it also doesn't mean that he shouldn't give it a shot."

He took another breath before continuing. "I've never been in your position, but that's what I'd do: talk to him and have him realize how much you two care about each other. I don't think he wants to wrap his head around the fact that you truly like Josh because he thinks that you'll make Josh your number one priority instead of him. He's afraid of change, and afraid of someone interfering with your guys' friendships."

"You think he sees Josh as a threat?" You scrunched your eyebrows together.

"Well, yeah. I mean, Josh is the older brother. He's going to see either of us as a problem if it comes to you because you're, well, you. He views you as his little sister, or perhaps the one thing that doesn't have to involve his brothers. Someone that doesn't include us and doesn't have to because you'll stick by his side no matter what. But now that he's seen that that isn't the case, he's threatened."

"I just don't understand, Jake. I mean, I've been friends with him for so long. I've never once put anyone before him, let alone you or Josh. I don't know why he has the connotation that I'd ever let someone get in the way of our friendship."

"I don't know either," he shrugged, "but all you can do is force him to see your side. I can see where he's coming from, but he shouldn't be worried about it. It's not something that should tarnish a friendship."

You ran the tip of your tongue on your bottom lip. "I sure hope not. I mean, I even told Josh that Sam can't choose who I fall for, you know? I can't pick how I feel about people, because no one can do that. It just...happens. I mean, for a while, I felt guilty about my feelings for Josh. But when he told me how he felt, I just gave up on thinking about what Sam would say. At the end of the day, he shouldn't be involved in our relationship anyways."

"I think he's more concerned that you won't need him anymore. I mean, you're going to go to Josh first when you want to talk about something. He's going to be the first person that you'll want to tell anything. And for a while, that was Sam."

"Yeah, I get that. And I don't want him to feel that way at all because that isn't the case. Of course, I'll probably tell Josh things more often than Sam. But that doesn't mean I'm going to leave him high and dry."

"You should reassure him that, then. Think you've got it all figured out what you want to say to him." He placed his hand on your shoulder and gave you a soft smile.

You took in a deep breath and nodded, relaxing back into your chair to watch the fire you hadn't paid much attention to.

"Oh, and by the way," Jake started, "I may be bias, but don't break up with Josh. He's crazy about you."

You quietly giggled and reserved to smiling to yourself from Jake's words. It was comforting to know that even his brother saw how much he cared about you - how deep his emotions ran. It was a nice way to lighten the mood just enough, and for you to run through what you were going to say to Sam.

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You returned into the lake house and saw Josh stepping down the stairs. You quickly met him halfway and placed your hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, what happened?" You flicked your eyes between his own.

"We sat down and argued - a lot, actually," he laughed, "but I think I got through to him. Might be your turn to go talk to him."

"You think?"

Josh gave you a nod. "I promise."

He cradled your face in his hands and brought your lips onto his softly. The kiss was held for a few moments, before he pulled away and looked at you with an affectionate smile. "Go. I'll be in my room waiting for you."

After the short interaction, you walked quickly upstairs to Sam's bedroom. Without any more moments of hesitation, you knocked on the door and entered.

He was sat on the edge of his bed with his hands folded, eyes immediately meeting yours when you were fully in focus. The both of you shared a moment of staring. You noticed the way his shoulders were scrunched up together, and it seemed that he was trying to cool off from the previous conversation he had with Josh.

"Are you ready to talk now?" You folded your arms together.

"Don't think there's anything else to talk about, y/n. Sure your boyfriend said everything there was to say." He shrugged with a scoff, then averted his eyes to the window in front of him.

You walked over to him and sat next to him, keeping your eyes on his tense face. "Well, I still want to talk to you about this. I'm not going to let Josh be the speaker for the both of us. I want you to hear me as well."

He met your eyes with a face of annoyance, but when he stayed mute, you figured that was him giving you the floor.

"Look, I know how you feel about this. I know it makes you upset, and I know you probably think that our friendship won't mean as much to me anymore. But that's not the case at all. I can balance a romantic and platonic relationship at the same time."

"How long have you two been together for?"

You furrowed your brows. "Did he not tell you?"

"Didn't ask."

"Oh," you nodded, "well, I think about two weeks? Maybe a week and a half to be a bit more specific."

"So, it started on this trip?" He pointed his finger to the ground.

You nodded slowly. "But we've both had feelings for each other before this. Long before this, in fact. We both just didn't know until we went out at night and he-."

"You guys have been hanging out alone?"

"Yes, Sam." You sighed. "Did you expect us to hang out with you guys and us confess to each other how we felt in front of you?"

"Expected you two not to 'confess' anything at all." He shook his head in slight disbelief. "Even after talking to him, I don't understand why you both decided to go behind my back. You know how hurt that makes me, y/n? Doesn't matter that it may have started as friendly. You both never said anything about it."

"You would've been pissed at us if we told you that we were hanging out without you and Jake. Would you have not?"

You watched him give you a huff, followed by an eye roll. He looked away from you for a moment, then stood from the bed and walked to the door. Watching his movements gave you the impression you were supposed to follow him. So, you stood up from the bed and stepped towards him. But he just shut the door and faced you with his back pressed against it.

"You figured that I would just be okay with this? I mean, the thought of you with my brother is just...gross." He shivered lightly for effect.

"We knew you'd be upset. We just thought that you would understand we have feelings for each other that we didn't want to deny anymore. We can't choose who we fall in love with."

"You can think before you act, though." He folded his arms. "Did, did you say, 'love'?"

Your eyes widened slightly. You stammered a few breaths, but none of them consisted of any words.

"You're kidding me, right? You love him? It's been a week or two and you're in love with him, y/n?" He stood off the door and strode to you slowly. His face was becoming a light red, with his eyes squinted.

"I don't fucking know, Sam. So, what if I did? I've known him for just as long as you."

He rolled his eyes again. "I-I don't even know what to say to that."

"Well, why can't you accept that I want to be with Josh, and you have no say in it?" You were growing frustrated. You had your arms folded together tightly, with your lips pressed together firmly.

He shook his head at you. "Because it's just wrong, y/n." He dragged out your name. "I don't fucking like it. You're supposed to be my best friend and here you are running off with my brother."

"I'm not 'running off' with your brother, Sam. I'm never going to put him before you, or you before him. Why can't we live in a world where I can have both? It's like you don't even care about how I feel."

He widened his eyes with the flare of his nostrils. "How you feel? You don't even seem to care about how I feel about this! You're completely just pushing me to the side for your own selfish pleasures because you're living in your own little world where only you and your feelings matter."

"You're being fucking childish!" You pointed your finger at him as your voice raised. "Just because I put what I want first for once in my entire life and not you I'm selfish? Sam, you don't get to tell me what I can and can't do because you don't like it. Now, that's selfish."

"Did you even consider how I felt at all?" His eyes softened a little. Under all the anger, all the frustration, he was hurt. Hurt because you did something without him. Hurt because you went behind his back. "Do you think that I'm entirely in the wrong for feeling the way I feel about this?"

"No, you have every right to be upset about this. I can't control how you feel about things. But I can persuade you into seeing things the way I do because I'm not letting you change my mind on this one. You know how fucking bad I felt seeing how upset you were? Did you know I cried myself to sleep? I cried and cried until I couldn't breathe because I felt so terrible about this! I could've come to you when this started in the first place, but to be honest, I didn't even know how to talk to you about this because I knew you wouldn't understand. Now, I have to stand here and yell at you for you to hear me. Do you realize how pathetic that is?"

He exhaled deeply. All he could do was stare at you with questioning. You tried to pick at his brain through his expression what he was thinking, but for the first time, you didn't know what was on his mind. All you knew was that he was angry and saddened, but that was it. He wasn't giving you any hints for predictability.

His eyes averted from yours and fell to the floor, as if he felt defeated. "Do you care about him more than me?"

"Sam, you can't-."

"Well, do you?" He looked to you, with his eyebrows pulled together. His anger was still present, but the shades of stinging grief shined brighter.

"I care about you both equally. I don't put him on a pedestal because he's my boyfriend. It's a different kind of love I have for the both of you."

He gave you a singular, slow nod. "You were the one thing I had that my brothers didn't." His eyes lightly glistened. If it weren't for the moonlight, you wouldn't be able to see the tears beginning to appear. "Now, Josh has you, and Jake knew all along about you two. I don't have my best friend as much as I used to."

Jake predicted Sam better than you could have. You were taken aback by his words, and especially him shedding his anger to show you the wounds you left. Your face softened and you shook your head in astonishment. Under everything, he was scared of losing you. It seemed more like a misunderstanding, and like he was being a bit too jealous. He never wanted to share you, because after all, that's all he's had to do with his brothers. Third best, third to know - it was all familiar to him. He thought that it would never be the case between you two, but now it was just reminding him off all the things he lost to his older brothers. You would be the greatest loss of them all.

"You're not going to lose me, okay?" You comforted him. You thought of his words to be a bit dramatic, but all of his outbursts were. "I'm not going to push you to the side because I'm with your brother. At the end of the day, you've done more for me than anyone has. I can't just forget all the years that we've spent being friends. I don't want you to ever think that."

He looked away from you again and off to the side of the room. He was collecting himself again in hopes that his vulnerability would wash away. All you could do was give him the time he needed. So, you stood there and waited for a response. "I think you just need to reevaluate your decisions."

"What do you mean by that?" You gave him a puzzled look.

"It's going to take me some time to get over this. I mean, this really fucking hurt, y/n. I think you need to figure out what matters more to you right now."

Your neck brought your head back. You were in shock. If he meant what you thought he meant, you were wondering if you had even gotten through to him with everything you said.

You swallowed your spiteful words and chose to face him with a question. "Are you giving me an ultimatum right now?"

"Is that what it sounds like?" He threw his hands up. It was as if he was frustrated that you had to even ask the question for closure.

"So, none of what I said to you matters and we just argued for no fucking reason for you to tell me I need to choose between you and Josh? Are...are you kidding me?" Your mouth hung open. You still didn't let yourself believe that's what he was going to leave you with. You didn't expect him to just be fine with your new relationship with his brother straight away, but you expected him to try and give it some thought.

"I don't know what else to say to you, y/n. Think I made myself perfectly clear." He gave you a shrug and stood with his statement.

You scoffed. "You're so unbelievably stubborn. Grow the fuck up, Sam. Just because my decisions aren't in your hands doesn't mean you should make me choose between you and your brother. That's childish."

"Seems like you've already made your mind, then." He nodded and stepped back to open the door.

"You're serious?"

"Yup." He nodded his head quickly.

You weren't done talking with him just yet. "Why can't you just accept that I can be friends with you and date Josh at the same time?"

"Why can't you accept that you went behind my back and broke our trust? Yeah, the whole relationship makes me angry, but the fact that you kept it a secret from me is far worse."

"You wouldn't have been okay with it either way, Sam. You can't just try to put up with it instead of clearing it off the table because you don't like it?" You threw your hand out to the side as you spoke.

"Right now, I don't want to even endure it at all. I'm beyond upset with you. When you promise something, you don't break it."

"Well, some promises are meant to be broken." You shook your head. You had only let your voice raise a little, but not enough to be considered yelling. You didn't want the rest of the household to hear you, but you wanted Sam to know you were clearly frustrated with how he was acting.

He took in a sharp inhale and chose to exhale his words. "If that's what you think, then I guess our little discussion is over."

You stood there for a moment to just take in the entire situation. You couldn't wrap your head around the fact that Sam was finally throwing his barrier down, only to flush it away and tell you that you had a choice to make. That wasn't what you were expecting, and after all, it wasn't something you should've had to make.

You finally left the room and stormed down the stairs. You let the feeling of tears forming in your eyes fully consume you. It was uncertain whether you were crying out of anger, sadness - or both, but you didn't care. You were going to let yourself feel whatever your body told you to feel because you didn't even know yourself.

You burst into Josh's room without a warning and causing him to shoot up from his position of laying down and sprawling his hands out at his sides.

"He wants me to choose between you and him. You know how fucking stupid that is, Josh?" You began. "At first, it seemed like I was finally getting him to accept that me and you were going to be together despite what he said," you began to laugh, "but no, he just turned it around and told me that it was him or you."

You could feel your lips shake with your chin and watched as Josh got up slowly from his bed. He placed his hands on your shoulders and examined your face to tell him that you weren't just making this up.

"What are you going to do?" He spoke softly.

"I don't know." You said with wide eyes. You brought your hand to your forehead and continued. "I can't believe that he would do something like this. I don't want to lose him, but I don't want to lose you. I mean, do you think time will tell whether he will come around or not?"

"I'm not sure," he said with disappointment, "but whatever happens, just know that you can't control what he thinks. I know he means a lot to you, and I know how much he cares about you. I'm sure with time he'll realize how immature he's acting and realize that he can't make you pick between us. I'm in disbelief, honestly."

"Yeah, so am I." You laughed. Now, you were just crying out of exhaustion. Tired of all the fighting, all the games Sam was playing with you, all of the words Josh would say to try and console you. It was all too much for you. "I just want to sleep. Can't keep crying over this because it's stupid."

He let you leave his grasp and you made yourself comfortable in his bed, turning on your side and allowing him to wrap himself around you from behind. He held your back close to his chest, pressing kissing on your head every now and then. Your crying came to an end quickly, and you were finally able to rest your eyes.

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

With a few days passing since your encounter with Sam, he had been a bit less distant. Although he was still keeping his distance from you guys, he'd come down and join you all for meals, and even once or twice sitting by the fire at nights with you three. He hadn't talked much since the day you both fought, but he at least acknowledged you all with a quick glance and smile.

You tried making small talk to him, even though there was no point. Even the twins tried to get him to speak, but to no avail. He wasn't budging, and it was just upsetting to see how he could become so ignorant because of his own frustrations.

There was even a time where Josh held your hand across the table at breakfast, and Sam came down to see the sight. You pulled away, and all Sam did was laugh and tell you both there's no need for pretending anymore. And, after that, he made himself some toast and ate in his bedroom.

Seeing where he left the rooms empty was disheartening. It was as if he wasn't there at all, even though you knew he was. All you wanted was for your best friend to be content with you, and maybe with these past few days of separation, he was overthinking everything that happened.

When the trip had landed to only one week left, Sam came back for breakfast and took his usual seat next to you at the dining table. You didn't let it surprise you, nor did you make any comments about it. Going about the arrangement, you knew to act casual. But Jake and Josh just gave Sam a few looks and choosing not to say a word to him.

You knew Jake had gone to see him once or twice. Neither you nor Josh made the effort to talk to Sam because the agonizing grudge he was holding upon you two was still set in stone. Even if you considered it immature, you said all you could say to him. Apologies weren't going to cut it anymore.

He sat quietly next to you and swirled his spoon around in the small bowl that held a mixture of yogurt and oats. You were thankful to see him out of the corner of your peripheral, because you were able to predict that he had something on his mind. Maybe he was just uncomfortable, or maybe he was lost in thought.

He lifted his head up for a moment, taking in everyone at the table before returning his eyes to his plate. His mouth parted open for a moment, and it had you turning your direction to him. But he just shut his mouth and reserving his attention to eating.

"There's, uh, a winery nearby." Jake spoke up to slice the quiet atmosphere. "Figured we could check it out, you know, do something different."

You hummed. "Yeah, that sounds nice."

Josh also agreed with a nod. Then there was Sam, who had stayed mute still. You all three turned to him and waited for him to budge. But nothing. Jake and Josh, who sat opposite of you two, ignored his silence and continued to finish their meal. But you, you just kept your eyes glued on him. You were hoping that by looking at him, he'd grow upset and say something. Anything.

"Danny's coming." Sam muttered before taking a bite of his food.

"Well, maybe he can join us. It'd be nice to see him. Been a while." Josh chimed in.

Sam scoffed. "He's coming to get me."

All of you stopped your motions. Now, everyone had their eyes locked on him.

Sam continued to reiterate. "I'm leaving."

You placed your fork down on your plate, loud enough for it to ring against the ceramic material. "You're what?"

"You heard me. I'm leaving." He turned his head to you and watched your face falter. He continued to keep his focus on you for just a few seconds, then looking down into his bowl.

"Sam, you can't leave. You came here with us. You can't go because you're mad about Josh and y/n." Jake rolled his eyes as he tried to reason with his brother.

"This trip just isn't fun anymore." He shrugged. The chair screeched against the wooden floors as he stood from it. "No point in me staying if I'm just going to be miserable."

You looked up to him with your jaw partially hung low. "You're making Danny drive two hours because you can't get over it? Have, have you even thought about accepting it?"

"Oh, don't worry, I have." He tilted his chin down to you. "But I don't think I want to. Besides, I think you'll have a much better time here without me. Seems like you were able to when you were sneaking around with Josh."

"Sam-."

"No, no, it's okay." He cut you off and gave you a faux sympathetic look. "I understand where your priorities are; I get it. Fucking my brother is much more important to you than preserving our friendship. Fine by me."

He walked away from the table and emptied his bowl. You all gave each other odd glances in questioning. What were you to say to that when you were left in shock?

Jake stood from his chair. "Do you hear how immature you sound right now, Sam? Dude, get a grip."

"This doesn't involve you, Jake. It never did, so it's beyond me why they told you in the first place. Left me out of it and kept it a secret. Played along in their little sneaky shenanigans because you're just as shitty as the both of them." He pointed his finger at Jake. "I just don't want to be here with you three anymore." He glanced at you and Josh. "I'll be gone before you guys get back."

You cocked your head to the side in annoyance. "You're being dramatic, Sam."

"Well, call me what you want. But at least I never went behind your back and broke our trust. I would never do something as fucked up as that because I actually care about our friendship."

You had opened your mouth to speak, but he left before you could utter a sound. It was his way of telling you he was done with the conversation, and that you had no say in what his actions were. You reserved back to the two boys that sat in front of you, but both of their eyes were blown wide.

"He has no concept of sharing." Jake mumbled, to which Josh elbowed his arm and gave him a stern look.

You just ignored Jake's comment and stormed up to Sam's bedroom. With his door left opened, you stopped in your tracks to watch him pack his clothes without your presence being noticed. He seemed content with his choice while he absentmindedly folded his shirts neatly into a pile before plopping them into the suitcase.

Your heart tugged towards his direction, and you dragged yourself into his room.

"You're not seriously leaving, are you?" You spoke with concern. Although you were upset, you didn't have the energy to pick a fight with him and raise your voice.

"What does it look like?" He mumbled as he kept his eyes on his clothing.

"I don't want you to go. None of us-."

But he was sure to cut you off. "It doesn't matter. I've already made up my mind. Hope you have fun spending the rest of this week with the two people you care about most."

You rolled your eyes. "I care about you just as much, Sam."

All he gave you was a shrug with a light sarcastic smile. "I don't know what to believe anymore. I was able to trust you with everything, and now that you've shown me that I can't," he flicked his eyes down to you, "I don't want to find out what else you've been lying to me about."

You opened your mouth to speak, but you shut it with an aggravated whine. You knew there was no point in defending yourself. He wasn't going to give you the time of day to let you tell him that he was overreacting about everything. He was too stubborn to convince, so you gave up.

You walked back down the stairs and saw Jake and Josh conversing by the living room.

"He's really leaving." You threw your hands up. "I can't believe he's really leaving because of this."

"There's no point in pushing him any further," Josh began, "he's made up his mind on how he wants to handle it. Nothing we can do now."

You scoffed. "And you said that we'd be able to fix this. You said that you had it all figured out and that I wouldn't have to worry. But here we are, with Sam pissed at all of us because of this stupid relationship, and him having Danny drive two fucking hours because he can't be in the same house as us anymore."

Jake walked off. He knew it wasn't his place to be in this conversation anymore, so he gave you and Josh the space that you two needed.

Josh took a few steps towards you and lowered his voice as he spoke. "You can't expect this to all be okay in a matter of seconds, y/n. You and I both are well aware that Sam is beyond obstinate about everything. He just needs time to think about it and space. That's all we can give him. I-I don't know what else you want from me."

You huffed. After all, he was right. You were just frustrated that time wasn't on your side. Hell, when was it ever?

You wrapped your arms around his neck, and in return, he brought you into an embrace with his hands enveloped around your back. You were hopeful that the closeness between you two would help you relax.

"I'm just so upset about all of this. It's annoying that there's nothing we can do about it. It's out of our hands, out of our control, and I'm pissed. I just wish I could just wake up from this nightmare and have everything be okay." You said into your arm that closed off Josh's neck.

He placed a kiss on the side of your head. "I wish that's how the world worked. All we can do now is be hopeful that he'll come around."

You maneuvered your head to meet in front of his. You gave him a small understanding smile, along with a soft peck on his lips. This would've never happened if you told Josh you didn't care what Sam thought. This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for you. And here you both were, standing in the same spot that held the exact moment that your guys' first kiss took place at. That damned kiss was the beginning of the downfall of you and Sam, as dramatic as it sounds. But it was true. Now, holding your eyes with Josh's, you couldn't help but wonder if this was all a mistake.

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

series taglist: @gvfleetwood @sacredjake @aureatopia @myeyehurtz @alexiagx @objectsinspvce @unhappycylinder @spinthehemmo @carbonwritingthroughtime @thecoldwind @ageofsophgvf @fakeplastiqtree @thepritchardscale @gvfpal @light-myluv @raviolilegs @jordierama @alwayskiszka @absolutely--mental

other tags: @ageofhearingloss @mountain-in-springtime @ignite-my-fire @gvfsstardust @jakesguitarsolo @fallonfatality @gold-mines-melting @digitalcalamity @demolitionndann @lipstickitty @lexii-nv-c @joopsworld @ryrybaby @hellowgoodbye @writingcold @stardustcatcher @absolutely--mental @loverleaverslayerbeliever @hippievanfleet

-part eight-

#jake kiszka #josh kiszka #greta van fleet #sam kiszka #danny wagner #danny gvf #sammy kiszka #josh gvf #sam gvf #jake gvf #josh kiszka gvf #jake kiszka gvf #sam kiszka gvf #sammy gvf #josh kiszka fanfic #josh kiszka fanfiction #josh kiszka fic #josh kiszka fluff #josh kiszka smut #josh kiszka series #josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka x you #josh kiszka x y/n #endless summer #endless summer series #endless summer fanfic #endless summer fanfiction #jake kiszka fic #sam kiszka fic #sam kiszka fanfic

[oddballwriter]

Late Night Talk

Summary: You and Marc have a hypothetical conversation about the idea of vampirism and what would entail if he were to decide that he wanted to join you in that un-life.

Warnings: Vampire stuff like mentions of drinking blood and other things. Some suggestive talk but it's mostly banter. Some talk of cnc if you squint at certain parts but this is not smut.

Author’s Snip: I wrote this last night while running off barely six hours of sleep and most of a Monster energy can at some time around midnight. If there are typos then I'm sorry. Enjoy the vampire YN though.

Notes: This one shot is not in the Dwelling in the Night canon, this exists on its own.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Word Count: 876

Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction (You too can join the taglist! Just ask!)

"What do you mean it's complicated?" Marc asked after you gave a weird answer to his hypothetical question.

"Vampirism is a very hard thing to get used to for both parties. You'd have to get used to the new lifestyle and also there's the whole thing with fledglinghood," you explain before Marc cuts you off. "Fledglinghood? That's an actual thing?" Marc scoffs. "Believe it or not, Marc Spector. Fledglings are a legit thing in the vampire world and it's something alright," you say. "It's a whole thing. I'd basically have to teach you to adapt and get used to everything as a new vampire." you explain.

Marc lets out an amused scoff again, "I think I could hunt for my own. I had to track down people back before Jake took the job as Moon Knight for me and Steven." he says.

"Oh, that would be another thing," you exclaim. "I don't know how the whole fledgling thing would work because as the one turning you I would basically own your soul and body. Kind of...?" you drawl out, "And that would lead me and the old bird to have a custody battle over you." you add. Marc looks to you confused and slightly shocked. "Listen I don't know how DID works in regards to vampirism and going off the whole story you told me about dying for the second time I can't tell if you, Steven, and Jake count as three parts of a whole soul or you have your own. Also, you guys have the same body so all three of you would have it," you mention, "And I know Steven would hate the eating part of vampirism." you comment.

"True," Marc agrees. "But can we go back to the soul and body owning part? What the hell is that all about? Do I get it back or do you just keep it?" Marc questions. "Yes and no at the same time." you answer, "So if I were to turn you I would technically own you because I have your soul and you would be my fledgling. And in the old vampire world that usually spelled out servitude and other stuff. But in modern times we don't do that, but the soul owning is still a thing." you explain. "What usually happens now is I would own your soul till you were prepared to handle vampirism and control your urges just so you don't cause havoc when you're in a feeding frenzy state. Once you're out of that period I would give you your soul back and you then have autonomy over yourself again," you conclude. "Basically it's like a kiddie leash for vampires. You don't run off and cause trouble." you simplify.

"Huh." Marc responds. "Is that like in the movies? Where it's like trances?" Marc asks. You take a moment to think about it. "If I wanted to, yeah. But I don't usually do that when I can. I can make you do anything and I can control how conscious you are of it." you say. You expect Marc to just nod but something seems to catch his interest. "When you can?" he exclaims, "What the hell does that mean?" he questions. You realize that you've let something slip.

You sigh.

"Okay, don't be mad or freak out. But sometimes when you guys can't sleep or refuse to, I make you fall asleep. That's all I do, I swear. And I don't do it a lot. I only do it when you guys have been up for too long for it to be healthy and when I'm able to." you explain quickly. "And how are you able to?" Marc questions, seemingly slightly concerned. "Only when I've drunk your guys' blood recently." you answer, "I could also do it through eye contact but that's harder to sneak by you and also it freaks me out," you mention. "Freaks you out?" Marc echos. "When I do it through eye contact I can see your mind leave your eyes and you completely untense your body and it just looks freaky to me." you say. "It's not just you. It's when I do it to anyone in general." you clarify.

"I guess you never noticed because you assume someone else took the body and went to sleep," you comment. "Though..." you mutter. Marc looks at you with a quirked eyebrow. You smile nervously, "I think Steven's caught on." you confess. "I have no proof but I swear when I tell him that it's getting late and he should sleep, he kind of...", you pause to think, "He drawls out staying up sometimes. Like he doesn't do anything. Like he's waiting for me to do it," you explain. "I don't know though. I'm not trying to point fingers and accuse him of anything," you remark.

You pretend to not see Marc look towards a reflective surface to his reflection for a second. You don't know what Steven might be saying but Marc looks like he doesn't buy it.

"Well, Steven can get up to whatever he wants. I won't shame him for anything he wants to do." Marc shrugs.

"Jake, though? Oh, 100% he'd be into that kind of stuff. Everything is foreplay to him." Marc half-jokes.

#moon knight #moonknight #moon knight x reader #moonknight x reader #marc spector #marc spector x reader

[gamebird]

A post about my Murderbot Diaries fanfics

A lot of my TMBD fanfiction links together. Someone called it the 'Gamebird Cinematic Universe'. So you'll see events referenced across fics, backstory fleshed out, and missing scenes filled in, with the information spread out across a lot of stories. I also ship Murderbot and Gurathin, but not within the canon timeline. Thus, there are a lot of fics where that hasn't happened yet, or where they are not both present.

I've put them all together in a single series for convenience, and broken out the ones that are separate AUs or unrelated one-shots.

.

Gamebird Cinematic Universe stories in (mostly) chronological order:

After Hacking - This is pre-ASR, a series of stories that track Murderbot's growing personhood and abilities during the 4 years after it hacks its governor module to before the events of All Systems Red. Each installment is around 1,000 words and they are all designed as stand-alone stories.

It's Only a Cleaning Process - Murderbot enjoys a particularly thorough cleaning process that can definitely be interpreted sexually. Murderbot declines to interpret it that way.

Two Ships, Passing in the Night - ART shows off for another ship. Seth is not amused.

Ratthi's Proposition - At the start of the ASR survey, Ratthi propositions Gurathin. This is an event referred to in various other fics.

[ASR happens here]

Rogue Trends - This is a data analyst digging into the circumstances behind Murderbot going rogue, and what happened to the other SecUnits that were in Ganaka Pit. It was my first TMBD fic and is much acclaimed.

Gurathin's Side of the Story - A retelling of ASR, ES, and other portions from Gurathin's point of view, along with key elements of his backstory. There is a little MB/G in it (occasional badly-veiled one-sided yearning; Murderbot doesn't know or care, as per canon).

BATNA - This recounts Mensah's captivity in Exit Strategy.

Things SecUnit Will Never Know - Missing scene at the end of Exit Strategy, tells the story of how the group restored Murderbot's brain after the gunship collapse.

Trust Fall - Set in the flashback scene of Network Effect - Overse and Arada argue about being cut out of the need-to-know list regarding the assassination attempt on Dr. Mensah.

Resignation - This is an elaboration of this line from Network Effect: Since I'd decided to stay (temporarily) on Preservation Station, Dr. Mensah had asked me to go places with her seven times. Six of those times were just relatively short boring meetings on ships in orbit or in dock. The seventh was when she had asked me to go down to the local planet's surface with her., telling the story of Mensah's slow crumble after the events of BATNA.

The Skinny - Murderbot sends a letter to Bharadwaj about the ways SecUnits are misused on contract. This would be in Network Effect, after the festival and before the water planet survey. This was another of my very early TMBD fics.

A Funeral for Killware - At the end of Network Effect, before System Collapse, those in orbit over the Adamantine Colony have an observance for those who were lost.

Retrieval - Three retrieves one of its fallen fellows.

Tarrathi - Tarik and Ratthi get together in System Collapse, missing scene fic.

The Talk - Perihelion's crew talk to it about how it met Murderbot. Or try to.

[post System Collapse, nebulous undefined mission with ART; in other words: canon that hasn't been published yet]

Repeat Deletion Protocol - Back on Preservation, SecUnit confronts Ratthi about a suspicious situation with one of Ratthi's partners, only to discover this isn't the first time it's confronted Ratthi about this.

De-constructed Feelings - Ratthi realizes/discovers Gurathin's past with constructs, and his present feelings toward one construct in particular. Gurathin swears him to secrecy, because he intends to take this secret to his grave. After all, Murderbot has no interest in him whatsoever and that's fine.

Skulk - This consists of the origin story for a rogue Combat SecUnit named Skulk, and then an adventure with Murderbot, Ratthi, and Gurathin.

Murderathin - This follows immediately after the end of the Skulk series and is my attempt to separate the MB/Gurathin material from the non-MB/G stuff so those readers who want to avoid shippy stuff can do so. Upon leaving the planet Skulk was on, Murderbot confronts Gurathin about certain feelings it has unexpectedly detected from him. This is where Gurathin's Side of the Story is told, although the events of it (ASR, ES, etc.) happen earlier.

[Young Gurathin section not in chronological order]

What is Love? - A late-teens Gurathin explores his sexual interests with a standard ComfortUnit in the Corporation Rim. Even back then, he wonders if there is more behind those eyes, or if he's just seeing what he wishes was there.

To Like or Not to Like - This is Gurathin in his mid-20s (I headcanon him around 50 in ASR) with a ComfortUnit. Nothing sexual or romantic this time, just two beings trying to understand one another and themselves.

[Back to chronological order]

Depends on Viewpoint - Gurathin and Bharadwaj discuss differences between the Corporation Rim and Preservation.

.

Other series:

Last Client Standing - ASR, but GrayCris attacks PresAux first instead of DeltFall. This is disastrous. Murderbot is only able to save Gurathin. They escape, eventually, returning to Preservation where there is grieving and therapy, with a hopeful ending.

TMBD Metas and Headcanons - What it says on the tin. Most of these are analyses of canon, but a few are my headcanons for ComfortUnits, Combat SecUnits, and Preservation.

.

Other stuff (one-shots or nearly so):

Freeze Response - Murderbot tries to figure out where a little girl went. Few words, many kudos.

SexUnit - Two versions of the same outline, one with Murderbot, one with an OC SecUnit. Both are used for sex. This is rape.

Two Peas in a Pod - Murderbot and Gurathin work together to retrieve two gestational units that have been locked in cryofreeze pods. Although both MB and Gurathin are in this fic, it isn't shippy in any romantic way. Barely even platonic.

Imagine Dragons - Murderbot tries to guard Gurathin from hostile fauna. I don't think this is particularly shippy. I think Murderbot would act the same way with any of its clients.

Personalized Security Services - Murderbot and Mensah fuck. This is not rape.

If Hostile One Had Bit Ratthi Instead of Bharadwaj in ASR - Just what it says on the tin.

Just a Piece - A man and an obliging SecUnit fuck. This is not rape.

Preservation Alliance, Politics, and World-Building - This is included in the Meta series, but is important enough for me to call it out individually. It's the background for nearly everything I've written in TMBD that has a setting in Preservation. It tells about languages, planets, and cultures.

There are also some drabbles and a couple longer one-shots I didn't count. You can find them in my AO3 works list. I have participated in two collaborative writing events, one Counting Down (combined PresAux and Perihelion crew get contaminated by alien remnants while planetside and have to fight off a CR sanitation team) and the other is Enemies, Closer (MB/G/ART/Echo). The first is not shippy in the least; the second is all shipping all the time.

#the murderbot diaries #fanfiction #murderathin #lots of stuff that isn't murderathin but I'm tagging so people's filters work