#like there's still so much more i haven't been able to do n. regrets.. many of them but | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

noisynaia · 1 year

Text

Magnetic Fields

My work for the lovely @pedrostories Secret Santa event 2022 🎁

@queenofthefaceless I hope you enjoy this, it was so fun to write! 💕

pairing: Din Djarin x afab!reader

word count: 7.2k

note: Explicit. (18+) The Razor Crest lives, and the helmet comes off. Bounty hunter reader. Canon-compliant injuries. Enemies to lovers (lovers to enemies to enemies with benefits to lovers). Mutual pining. Unprotected P in V (with use of contraception). Slow burn. No use of (y/n). The reader uses she/her pronouns. This has not been beta-read and English is not my native language. December has been more stressful for me than I thought it would so I haven't even had time to proofread this, so It might be pretty messy, but regardless, happy holidays ya'll! ♥︎

Crossposted on ao3

Smut right under the cut.

You had never, not even in your wildest fantasy, thought you would do this with him again. It is, of course, very different this time around. No clumsy hands or nervous laughs as you shyly explore each other’s bodies, no eager kisses shared in the pitch-black darkness, for you to wonder what he looks like under the heavy helmet. No, this time around it’s rougher.

Your knees are being pushed deeper into the hard mattress of the bunk with each frantic thrust from the Mandalorian behind you. Your ass is in the air and your face is buried in the pillow that smells so overwhelmingly of him. His armour normally conceals it, just like how it conceals so much else of him, but the sheets reveal his secret. His scent is rich and musky with a certain freshness that is reminiscent of pine, and it’s just like you remembered it.

The angle of which he’s railing his cock into you is perfect, every strong thrust hitting that spongey magic-spot inside you, that is making your eyes teary and have you whine with pleasure. You are dripping wet and the adrenaline that still pounds through your body is making everything feel a hundred times more intense. You do fear that you’re going to regret this in the morning, but right now you simply don’t care. After two weeks of being cooped up in the cramped ship with the Mandalorian and his foundling, too scared to seek your own release out of fear of being heard, this is exactly what you have been desperate for. A part of you is aware that you have missed it, missed him, but you don’t let that part of you be heard right now. This is a transaction with mutual benefits, nothing more. The two of you fucking the adrenaline and frustration out of your systems and then you’ll go back to ignore each other as much as possible in the morning. But damn if his body isn’t heaven…

Two weeks earlier…

You take one last glance around the room, making sure that you have not forgotten anything, not that you have many items left that could have been left behind… Your ship is gone and with it most of your belongings. The Silver Lining had gotten wrecked to scraps on your last mission and had been completely irreparable. That ship had been your everything and with the loss of it had come the loss of your home, along with most of your belongings, your livelihood and your whole identity. The journey back to Nevarro had been long and dreadful, the bus pods slow and uncomfortable, but you had finally arrived about a week ago and had informed Karga of your situation.

He had given you his condolences about your ship and told you that he would try and see if he could do something for you. You appreciate this, but had also expected him to do something for you, after having worked for him for so many years. He had asked if you would be willing to team up with another member of the guild until you have collected enough credits to get a new ship, if he was able to find a willing partner for you.

You had said yes to this proposal, it would not be the first time you partnered up with a fellow bounty hunter, even though you haven’t done it for more than a single hunt or two at a time, not since your beginner days with him... But you’re in a compromised situation and your options are limited.

You have stayed at the dingy inn since you came back to Nevarro, sleeping most of the days away and spending the nights drowning your sorrows about losing your beloved ship with too much Spotchka. But you had been contacted by Karga last night, he had found a hunter that is willing to partner up with you until you are able to get a new ship. Your best guess is Klian, the two of you have developed a sort of friendship over the years, mostly after you have learned to turn a deaf ear to his flirtatiousness.

You check out of your room before heading to the Cantina where Karga resides. It’s a short walk and you’re soon stepping through the door to the busy establishment. You walk over to the area where you always can find Karga, ignoring the annoying comments from the drunk Cantina goers.

You look up when you reach Karga’s area, and the sight that meets you makes your stomach drop. There in the dim Cantina is the last person you would ever think to have agreed to team up with you, but there he sits at Karga’s table, in all of his beskar-clad glory, Mando…

You don’t know much about what the Mandalorian has been up to the last several years, you’ve actually only seen him a handful of times in the decade that has passed since your fallout. You had dropped trying to talk with him the first time you saw him again after he had left you, he had been so standoffish and cold. You have no idea how Karga has convinced him, of all people, to take you onboard.

You are still standing a few metres from the table, too surprised to say anything, the two men staring up at you from their seats at the table. Karga with an almost humorous expression, Mando not giving any emotions away do to the helmet

“Please take a seat.” Karga finally breaks the silence. Gesturing to the empty chair opposite from Mando.

You reluctantly sit down, making an effort to not meet the visor of the Mandalorians helmet, instead shooting Karga a confused and not very friendly look.

You risk a single glance over at Mando and that is when you notice a little green creature sticking its head up from the seat next to the Mandalorian. Has he got himself some sort of pet? You have never seen a creature like it before and you are staring at it as it gurgles happily at you. It takes you completely by surprise. The whole situation is so weird and your face is so contracted with confusion by it that it could be mistaken for disgust.

“I’d appreciate if you’d stop bothering my child.”

His child..?! Since when has he got a child? And what the hell does he mean by bothering…

You stare at Mando for about three seconds before you explode.

“Fuck you, Mando!” You hiss as you stand up, not offering another word as you and swing your bag over your shoulder and storm out of the cantina. There is no way you’re going to partner up with that asshole. Fuck this, fuck Karga and fuck Mando!

—

Din is a selfish man, selfish and weak, at least when it comes to you, maybe he should have let you leave, especially after having ignored you for so many years, undoubtedly hurting you badly by it. Din should let you make the choice of rejecting his offer, even if it’s going to hurt him, but he instead passes Grogu to Greef and stands up to follow you out of the Cantina. He is selfish after all.

Seeing you and Grogu in the same room had been too much for him, the only two people he has truly loved in his adult life were overwhelmed. His heart had begun to yearn. He had snapped at you, not knowing what to do with his emotions and he hates himself for it, you don’t deserve that, you have not deserved any of the shit he has put you through.

He has been avoiding you the best he could in all these years. He has been making a habit of checking the spaceport on Nevarro for The Silver Lining, every time he docks there. Usually finding some sort of excuse to wait till you have taken off to go collect his pay and new bounties from Karga on the occasions you are on the planet at the same times as him. It has, however, not been possible to completely avoid you through the years, he usually opt for ignoring you on the occasions that he finds himself in your proximity. Din hates himself for it, the hurt in your eyes makes him feel sick from shame. He is not proud of how he broke things off with you all those years ago, but he had no choice, or at least he had felt like it.

Din had first met you when you both were young, only a year or two after he had become a member of the guild, and you had just left your home-world of Corellia, joining the guild had been tough for you, but you were a skilled hunter and an astounding pilot, but you had had a hard time being taken serious as a young woman in this line of work. It had not taken long for the two of you to form an alliance, you were the two newest members of the guild and the youngest, teaming up had seemed like a good idea. It had not taken long for the young Din to become completely captivated by you. You were beautiful, smart and so very kind and he had soon developed a huge crush on you.

He had been over the moon when you had seemed to reciprocate his feelings, it had been a sweet but intense romance, like young love often is. You had bewitched him entirely, and the realisation of just how deeply he began to feel about you had frightened him. He had almost taken off his helmet in front of you. He had gotten more distant after that. You had asked him one night if anything was wrong, if you had done anything to upset him. It had broken Din’s heart to hear you sound so unsure and hurt. He had come up with some lame excuse, telling you that it was nothing. He’s a Mandalorian, he could never give you what you deserved. He does not have the capacity to give you that and he could not break his creed.

He knows that he had hurt you, even though it was the last thing in the galaxy he had wanted to do, but he truly had felt like he hadn’t had a choice, he would not have been able to keep his creed if he had stayed with you. He had left you on Navarro, taken off in The Crest in the middle of the night without even saying goodbye.

But now his creed has been broken… When he heard what had happened to your ship and that Karga was looking for someone to take you in he just couldn’t help himself, the tiny chance to get you back in his life had been too tempting.

—

You stomp out of the Cantina, your ears are ringing with anger, but you don’t get far before you feel a big hand grasping your wrist stopping you in your tracks. It had been so long since he last touched you, but you know it’s him. A wave of emotions and memories sweeps through your body by his touch.

“Where are you going?” He asks as he spins you around to face him, his grip on your wrist is gentle.

The softness he speaks with is throwing you off, you don’t know where to look, feeling too many, too contradicting, emotions at once. You hate him, but maker, how you have missed him too.

“Away.” You huff, and he let go of your wrist.

“Okay.” Is all he says, and it makes you want to scream. Why the fuck is he here, why does he suddenly want you to be around agin?!

“Won’t you at least come in and talk before you leave? You don’t have to talk to me, but at least have a word with Karga.”

“Fine.” You let out an angry huff through your nose, hating how sensible he sounds.

You step back into the cantina where Karga is sitting with the little green critter, who does look way more like a baby now that you get a better look at him. You hate the whole situation, but you’re also very desperate and after a short talk with Karga you give in even though it’s gonna be tense. Mando had been your first love after all and, as sad as it might be, the only man you’ve ever truly loved and he has really hurt you in the past…

You get up from the table for the second time this evening when everything is settled. Mando is holding the pucks of the bounties you and him have been given, twice as many as you normally would have been given.

“Why did you even say yes to this?” You finally ask Mando on the walk to the spaceport.

Mando is quiet for a moment and you have begun to think that he is ignoring you again, but then he finally speaks. Crossing his arms over his chest plate and

“I owe Karga.” He simply states, not telling you the truth, that it actually is Kargo who owes him. That he had asked Karga to be the one to take you in. Din is after all a selfish man.

“For what?”

“That’s none of your business.” His words are harsh but all the bite is lost from his voice, he just sounds tired now.

“Well, sorry I asked!” You scoff.

And the tense silence is back. The child is completely unaffected by the strained atmosphere, happy and curious to have gotten a new companion in you. You are angry and confused by the situation you have landed in, but that isn’t the child’s fault and you offer him a weak smile when he coos up at you as you reach the lot where The Crest is docked.

“He’s my foundling by the way.” Mando tells you, nodding his helmet towards the little green kid. “His name is Grogu…”

You nod at the information, as Mando lowers the ramp, pushing past him the second the ramp has hit the ground, stomping into the ship. It’s many years since you last have been onboard, but you still remember the layout of The Crest and you stomp towards the tiny spare room. You are almost sure that it is where you’re going to stay and if you’re wrong you simply don’t care, you need to be alone behind a closed door for a second. Luckily it seems like you were right, a spare bunk is set up with clean sheets and a little cabin with empty shelves to your few remaining belongings. You let out a snort as the heavy metal door closes behind you. Mando making a room ready for you in his ship is an absurd mental image.

“I’m going to get us off-world. We’re gonna hit the hyperspace route soon, you’ll have to come up in the cockpit for the jump.” His voice is sounding from the other side of the durasteel door.

You let out a sigh as you let the bag slip from your shoulder and let it land on the floor with a thud.

You’re seated in the copilot chair ten minutes later. Mando is in the pilot seat getting The Razor Crest ready for the hyperspace jump. Mando’s foundling in your lap due to lack of other seats.

The eerie silence between you is suffocating so you focus your attention on the baby instead. Bouncing his little body on your knee which makes him gurgle with laughter, he really is a cute kid, his big bright eyes are pulling on your heart strings. You are distracted by Grogu when you realise Mando is staring at you from his seat in the pilot chair, but he looks back to the control panel as soon as you meet his gaze. What is his problem?! Does he have to micromanage your every move…

“What?” You snap irritated.

“Nothing.” He says with a light shake of his head, staring out on the stars that rushes past you.

Better be nothing, you think as you sulk into the seat. Passing the baby to him the second the jump is over and retreating back to the little room.

The next days are tense, to put it mildly. You avoid Mando as much as possible and ignore him when you can’t avoid him, but you pull yourself together when you’re getting close to the planet of your first bounty. Biting the bullet and approaching Mando to talk about strategy, and it goes better than you had feared.

It is like the two of you agree on a silent truce when it comes to your hunts and it pays off. As much as you might hate each other on the ship, you are a good team in the field.

Two weeks goes by like this. You are on the way to the last planet you have left before you have to go back to Nevarro and pick up new pucks and deliver the bounties. This hunt is the one you have been dreading, it is by far the most tricky one, and you have a feeling that both the bounty and the swamp planet is gonna be giving you and Mando a run for your money. And, oh boy, were you right…

You are tired and frustrated. The humid air is feeling sweltering, and it’s making your shirt stick to your sweaty back. The fog is laying thick over the swampy landscape. You knew that this was going to be a more elaborate hunt than your previous ones, but it has taken you even longer to hunt the bounty down than you had anticipated. Despite your frustrations with Mando you have to admit, he is a damn talented hunter. You can’t help but be a little in awe when you watch him work.

The impressive shine to his new armour, he looks so broad and strong in it. You had thought that he had looked good back when you first met him, all those years ago. The armour he wore back then was a little more crude, he had not walked with the same amount of authority as now, but you had both been young, both of you had recently left your respective homes to join the guild. You had been completely captivated by him. Kriff, you had even thought that you had loved him back then, thought that he might have loved you. He had been your first… He was a skilled and lethal hunter back then, but he had at the same time been more soft, it was before he had become battle hardened.

He has, over the years, grown into the confident man and hunter he is today. The bond you had with him in your youth had been broken, completely torn to shreds, but you’re afraid that the intense attractiveness you felt for him is once again in full bloom. It annoys you, he shouldn’t have that power over you anymore, not after how he left things, but seeing him in action is so kiffin hot. The way he skillfully tracks his prey, the broadness of his shoulders and the thickness of his thighs is driving you wild. The satchel with little Grogu in it that is hung over his torso is throwing the picture of a lethal hunter off a bit, a weird contrast to Mando’s bruteness. But seeing him with his little son only makes him more attractive somehow.

You don’t like that the kid is with you on hunts, every instinct in your body screams against. You are no expert on babies, but bringing them into dangerous situations feels like a big no-no, but it’s not like you have any other options.

The hunt is long and tiresome and it’s late when you finally get back to The Crest. Grogu has fallen asleep, the satchel in which he lays is now hanging over your shoulder. The bounty is a giant of a man so you had to let Mando take care of him and instead be the one to carry Grogu.

“I’ll put Grogu to bed.” You announce.

Mando is struggling getting the bounty’s limp body carried into the ship and into the carbonite chamber before he gains consciousness again. The hunt is still close enough for the two of you to be civil with each other. You have never put Grogu to bed before, but Mando’s hands are full and the little one needs to be put down. Mando is rarely leaving him out of sight so you don’t spend a whole lot of time with the babe as you actually want to. And as much as you try to not get attached you’ve already fallen hard and fast for the little one. You still haven’t fully comprehended that Mando has a son now, you would never have imagined him as a parent before, but he seems to be doing a good job, and there is no doubt that he loves his little foundling.

Grogu opens his eyes as you lift him over in his pod, muttering a tired sigh before falling back to sleep. You tuck him into his soft blanket and before you even register what you’re doing you're leaning in to press a gentle kiss to the top of his little fussy head. You step out of the little alcove in the hold in which Grogu’s pod is located and get shocked as you almost butt heads with Mando as you turn around.

“Sorry…” He mutters. “Did Grogu make any trouble?” He asks, voice softer than you have heard it in a long time.

“No, he was great, no trouble at all.” You shake your head. “He’s a good kid.” You can’t help but add.

Mando just nods at this. A little silence settles between you. This is the closest you have been to him since you got on The Crest two weeks ago and the horrifying realisation of just how attractive you still find him is settling in. You are still feeling worked up from the mission and he is standing right there, visor trained directly on you.

“I just wanted to ask if you’re okay with waiting to take off to Nevarro till tomorrow?” He finally breaks the silence.

“Yeah, that’s fine by me.” You answer, you had not expected that you would take off tonight anyway. Mando nods but he still doesn't leave, you shuffle your feet a little. Does he feel the tension too?

Mando takes a shaky breath before adding. “You did good today, It’s… Nice to work with such a skillful hunter again.”

A compliment..? You had not expected that! You open your mouth to thank him or maybe shrug it off but instead…

“Do you wan’t to fuck me?”

The dread is washing over you the second the words have left your mouth, the kriff did you just say?! Of course he doesn’t want to do that. Dank farrik, are you really this horny.

“It’s not going to mean anything.” You quickly add, knowing he doesn’t want it to mean anything. “And I have an implant, so…”

“Do you want that?” He asks.

“Yeah, I do.” You confess, there is no take back of your words, so no reason to shy away from it now.

That is all it takes, his arms coming around your waist, hands grabbing your thighs as he picks you up, carrying you to his room. And, kriff, it’s hot. You feel your stomach clench and a convolution running through your cunt.

He is removing his armour in a frantic rush, throwing the pieces on the bunk to not let the sound of beskar hitting durasteel floor wake Grogu in the hold. Shoulder armour, thighs panels, wrist gauntlets, chest plate, all gets removed until Mando stands in front of you in only his flight suit and helmet. You’re pulling at your own clothes, stripping down to your underwear. A groan escapes through the modulator of Mando’s helmet by the sight of you.

“You’re still sure you want this..?” He asks, voice deep and husky through the modulator, you can see the hard bulge through the fabric of his flight suit, and kriff, you have never needed anything so badly.

“Yes, Mando I want this.”

“How do you want it?” He asks, stepping close to you gripping your hips with his now ungloved hands, hands you have missed so badly.

“On my knees, I want you to take me from behind and please don’t be gentle.”

He executes your request to perfection, fucking you so well and hard that you have to bite down on his pillows to drown out your screams. He had been good back then, always so attentive, making sure you always reached your peak and felt good, but he had also been young and inexperienced, just like you had been. The both of you have grown up, there is nothing inexperienced or soft about what the two of you are doing now.

The feeling of Mando’s cock filling you is so amazing it has tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. You are so worked up, the adrenalin from the hunt still running through your veins. The angle he’s hitting you with is perfection. You know that this is only sex, you are not like you had been back then, the two of you fucking the adrenaline out of your systems and nothing more.

Mando groans behind you, hissing filthy praise about how tight you are and how well you take his cock. His grip on your hips tightens as he pushes you back on himself everytime he thrusts into you.

“Dank farrik, so tight…” He hiss through the modulator of his helmet. “So, kriffin, tight around me.”

“Fuck, Mando don’t stop! Don’t you dare stop.” You whine into his pillow.

“Not planning on it, Meshla.” He groans.

Meshla… The word makes your stomach do a flip and a shiver runs down your spine. He had used to call you that so long ago, used to whisper it so lovingly into the darkness as he kissed you…

It almost throws you for a loop, but Mando’s skilled thrusts bring you back to the present. The sound of his voice and his pounding of his cock is sending you over the edge, making you soak his cock and clench down around him.

You moan into his pillow, enjoying how much it smells of him as your orgasm makes you tighten around him.

He moans loudly as he pulls out of you, letting his cum spill all over your ass. Grabbing your cheeks with his broad hands and squeezing down on the plumb skin, smearing his seed further around your ass.

And that’s it. You both take a short moment to catch your breath and compose yourself and then you leave his bunk, retreating to the fresher to get yourself cleaned up and afterwards locking yourself in your tiny room. You fall asleep almost immediately after your head lands on the pillow, the adrenaline finally gone from your system and your body warned out by the warm shower and amazing orgasm you just had.

Mando fucking your brains out becomes a thing… You continue to avoid each other as much as possible on The Crest, ignoring the other when the sparse space on the ship forces you into the same proximity. But you’re being cooperative and team players on hunts and whenever you come back from one and you have frozen the bounty in the carbonite chamber and put Grogu to bed, you follow Mando into his bunk.

You don’t let yourself dwell on it too much. Your relationship with Mando is never gonna go back to how it was, you had known a different version of him and you can not let yourself get pulled in again, but the sex is amazing.

But one hunt changes your new routine.

Mando had been sliced by one of the Trandoshan bounties vibroblade knives; it had cut him between his armour plates. He had shrugged it off as nothing, but now that you see it in the bright light of the cargo hold after coming back on the ship it’s clear that it’s deeper than you first thought, a wet spot of blood has formed on his flight suit. It is soon clear to you that this isn’t something that can be fixed by a bit of bacta spray.

“Kriff, Mando…” You huff, making him sit down on a crate. “You need stitches.”

“Mhm…” He groans, beginning to stand up.

“What are you doing?”

“Going to the fresher to sew this.” He says it matter of factly as he gestures to his side.

“Sit down, you’re not going to stitch yourself up while I’m here. It’s your face you can’t show, not your body.” You want to add that he has seen you completely naked many times, but you don’t.

“Won’t be the first time I’ve stitched myself up after a hunt…” He gruffs.

You just shake your head at his comment. “Shut up and sit down Mando.” You say as you go to get a first aid kit.

The armour that covers his torso is gone by the time you come back and he is just about to pull the flight suit down, exposing his upper body for you.

Golden muscles painted with scars of varying shape and sizes, you struggle to keep your eyes from wandering over his beautiful form. It is not like you haven’t seen a shirtless person before, far from it, but something about seeing him bare in front of you in this context makes your heartbeat a little faster. He removes pieces of his armour for you, making sure the hard metal isn’t uncomfortable when you have sex, but he doesn't strip down for it, never remove his suit. Your face is suddenly feeling warm. There is nothing sexual about this, he is not pounding into you as he groans filth in your ear, it’s just him bare and vulnerable in front of you. His broad chest slowly sinks and rises as you cleanse the cut. His exposed skin is warm under your hands and it suddenly feels like your hands are on fire, you quickly remove them from his skin.

You rummage through the first aid kit to get the sterile needle and self-dissolving threat, struggling to get the items out of their seals as your usually always steady hands now have begun to slightly shake. You place the blame for your current state on the adrenaline from the hunt which is still rummaging through your body, but the feeling of Mando’s visor on you is suddenly very overwhelming in the sharp light of the cargo hold. You get yourself under control, forcing your hands to steady before you start patching up Mando.

He doesn’t even flinch as you penetrate his skin. You work quick and precise, finishing up by sealing the wound with a bacta patch.

“Thank you.” His voice is low and slightly shaky.

Something about this feels way more intimate than the nights you come back from hunts and he fucks you and it’s throwing you off.

You decide to not follow him into his bunk tonight…

Days go by, you and Mando are way more civil towards each other, no bickering or harsh looks, but now another tension is in the air between you, one there is ambivalent and hard to describe. Something has changed between you, but you don’t know what. You have not had sex after you stitched him up that night.

Instead you lock yourself in your room after hunts and every other night for that matter. You can’t help but feel weak under the gaze of his visor. The anger you had felt for him for so many years has slowly faded away. The loss of this anger has given place for something else, and as much as you’re suppressing it, you can’t help but yearn for a future where the two of you could be what you once had been. You wish you could just talk to him.

A couple of weeks go by like this.

You’re sitting in your bunk, you have just come back from meeting with Karga. You don’t know how you feel about this new job you and Mando just have gotten, it’s not your usual mission. You’ll have to infiltrate an exclusive club on Daiyu where a lot of high profiled spice cartel members are hanging out. You really don’t want to do this, but with the pay Karga offered for this particular job done you would be able to buy a new ship, and you couldn’t say no to that. Karga had even offered to look after Grogu while you and Mando are doing the job, since there’s no way you can bring him.

You don’t like the premise of the mission,but it is too good of an opportunity to say no to. You’ll soon be back on a ship of your own alone and free to do as you please, but for some reason you’re still not happy. You just want to be alone right now but you need to climb up to the cockpit, you’ll soon reach the hyperspace route.

You sit down in the chair without saying a word, it’s weird to not have Grogu on your lap, already haven gotten so used to it. You know that he is safe with Karga, but you have begun to feel protective of him which isn’t good, you will soon be leaving and the more you bond with him the harder it’ll be to say goodbye.

You actually stay up in the cockpit after entering hyperspace this time, you have to discuss the plan for the mission with Mando.

There is no way Mando is going to be able to blend in with his armour, so you decide that you will enter the club by going undercover and he will be sneaking into the back rooms hopefully unnoticed. You have had a few clothing items that could have worked at such a place, but they had all been burned to a crisp with The Lining. Luckily it will be easy to find something for you at a place like Dinyu that will make you blend in at the fancy club. You are also not unaware that your looks have helped you out on mission’s before, many people, criminals included, seem more trusting and willing to put their guards down towards attractive women. You don’t particularly like using your ‘feminine charms’ on missions, but why not use what you got? You are not as big and strong as most of your coworkers and you know it gives results. A fancy looking dress and a little makeup and you’ll probably be able to get into that club without much trouble. In this one occasion you actually have an advantage that Mando doesn’t.

And you were right in your predictions. It goes smoothly, a bat of your eyelash and a smile and you’re in. You play your part to perfection, you quickly have a good overview of the people present and soon you have spotted the person you had been looking for, a leader of a big cartel that runs on multiple planets. Rukeé Gdaou. You and Mando are not supposed to bring him in, these cartel leaders are way too powerful to be taken down by just two bounty hunters, the entire guild would become a target. But even just the smallest information about the man is worth a lot of money. You had been surprised when you saw a glimpse of him in one of the excluded vip balconies. He is not at all looking like what you had imagined. You had expected a rufflooking mobster, but instead found out he was a gorgeously handsome Togruta, and way younger than you had expected, probably only a few years older than yourself.

You thought that it would be hard to get to him, since he is such a high profile leader, but you had underestimated how good you look in your new dress. You are being approached by a tall man in all black, giving off bodyguide vibes after only being at the club for around forty five minutes. He is telling you that Mister Gdaou had noticed you in the crowd and would like to invite you up for a drink. You are quick to accept, following the man up the stairs to the excluded area.

You play your role well, accepting his offer of a drink with a smile. Laughing at the mobsters stupid jokes and sending seductive looks while sipping on your Merenzane Gold. It goes well, you don’t have any reason to think that he has any suspension about you. You don’t get much intel since you have to be very careful with your questions, but you still get some useful information here and there. He has just placed a hand on your exposed thigh, which every instinct in your body tells you to push away but you know you have to keep up the facade, so instead you smile sweetly at him. You’re opening your mouth, getting ready to risk asking something that might lead to some information when the sound of blaster fire is suddenly heard from the dancefloor under you.

“What the…” Rukée curses under his breath going to the railing of the balcony to look down. “I’ll be back in a moment, just have to check this out.” He tells you, leaving you alone as he brings his bodyguards with him.

That is when a low cough is heard from the shadows and you turn around to see Mando half concealed in the dim light, giving you a sign that he is here and that he is looking out for you.

You know Mando is good, but damn. So much for the bodyguards and security at these places.

Rukée reappears. A smile that would have been charming if it wasn’t for the sleaziness that oozes from him, plastered on his sculpted face.

“I’m sorry about that. I promise that you have my full attention now.”

He has a sultry glimpse in his eyes that makes stomach turn with disgust.

“Thank you, I’m very grateful for your attentiveness.” You take a quick glance over at where you know Mando is hiding.

“Oh, I’m sure you are.” Rukée answers with a humorous look that makes you want to puke.

“And even though it’s nice up here, why don’t we go somewhere even more private?” He continues placing a hand on the small of your back to guide you towards a private room in the back.

You open your mouth, but you don’t know what to say. You do not really want to go with him, but it will be a good opportunity to get him to talk some more and you can’t blow your cover now. You had prepared yourself to be in this situation before going into the mission and you’re so close to getting the information you need. You are in the middle of your internal battle when Mando steps out of the shadows.

“I don’t think that will be necessary.” The tone of which Mando speaks could cut through beskar, and with that your cover is blown.

The next twenty minutes pass in a blur. A real shootout breaks out, but Mando has got an escape route ready and you manage to both get out of the club unhurt.

You made it back to The Crest in silence, Mando had turned his visor on you a couple of times but he had not said anything. He finally speaks after you have entered the ship, telling you to go directly to the cockpit since you have to leave the planet immediately. You just nod, and kick off your uncomfortable stilettos, climbing up the stairs to the cockpit ignoring how cold the durasteel floor is under your bare feet.

You are both quiet doing the take off and the time it takes till you can hit hyperdrive, but Mando finally breaks the silence when the two of you are surrounded by the safety of hyperspace.

“I’m sorry about what happened… I should have been thinking before I acted, and found a better way to deal with the situation, but he was leading you away and I got scared.”

He groans, the frustration in his voice is clear.

“Good Maker, you have no idea how scared you make me Mesh’la!” He says as he drags a hand over his helmet.

His words confuse you. “I’m scaring you..?”

“Yes, have for years…”

“That doesn’t make any sense Mando.”

“I wanted to give you everything, you know.” He sighs all anger and frustration now gone from his voice.

“What are you..?” You begin but he continues.

“You have no idea of how many times I wanted to take my helmet off in front of you, how many times I was just about to do it. I would have given up everything if you had asked me to Mesh’la. My creed, The Way, everything… You had the power to make me leave it all, and it scared me. I didn’t know how to deal with it so I left. I was selfish and I’m so sorry for hurting you… I’ve broken my creed, taken my helmet off for Grogu, I’m a child of the watch no more.”

He let out a sigh, so desperate it makes your heart clench.

“I never stopped wanting you Mesh’la.”

“Mando, I…”

“Din.” He cuts you off.

“What..?” You mutter.

“My name, my real name, it’s Din… Din Djarin.”

“Din…” You whisper, trying it out on your tongue, loving how it sounds. You feel your eyes getting stingy and your vision getting blurry from tears. You never stopped wanting him either.

A loud hiss is echoing off the durasteel walls, and before you can registire what’s happening the loud thud of beskar hitting the floor ring in your ears. And there he is in front of you, Din Djarin, the deepest, most soulful brown eyes you have ever seen staring back at you.

You let out a gasp. He's beautiful.

“I love you Mesh’la. I’m sorry it has taken me so many years to tell you, and I understand if you-”

You cut him off, crashing your lips on his, burying your fingers in his fluffy dark hair. He loves you?! You feel how your cheeks are getting wet from the tears that are now freely falling from your eyes. Din is kissing you back with a hunger that has your knees feeling weak

“I love you too Din.” You whisper against his lips when you finally pull back from his lips for a breath of air.

You feel the muscles of his arms flex around as he pulls you close against his chest.

“I’m never letting go of you again, you know? You’re stuck with me now Mesh’la.”

You inhale his scent, nuzzling your head against his broad chest plate.

“I think I can live with that.” You happily chuckle.

“You and Grogu are my everything. You’re the way for me now.”

Looks like you won’t be needing a new ship after all…

569 notes · View notes

yostresswritinggirl · 1 year

Note

You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to; I just thought of this as a cute idea. So, you know know each character has a set of, “About *insert character*” voice lines? What if Scara had a “About puppet reader” voiceline and vice versa? What would they be?

Finally got to answering this!

This is such a cute idea and I may have gone overboard on this! However, I didn't do one for Reader's voicelines, that's something unique to everyone and I want the reader themselves to have their own voice so as compensation - enjoy!

(This ask is related to a published story called Kintsugi, spoilers ahead if you haven't read it yet)

For all versions

About Puppet Reader:

You and your savior complex. Haven't you peered into my memories already? You've gotten all the information you need, I'm not speaking matters about them to you of all people, you've gotten the upper hand for far too long...

When It Rains: (friendship level 4)

Is it raining on your side too...

About Puppet Reader: Kintsugi

It is not my place to answer that, but if your annoying curiousity ends up hurting them - well, you'd be facing the wrath of my newfound power and a different kind of bloodlust. Hehehe, that face... I'm glad you know I'm not fooling around.

For the Canon Ending

About Dottore: Betrayal

I was too foolish, blinded by my own ambition and too careless to see the strings he's been pulling all this time. What else is there to say? The moment I see him, I'll tear him apart for even touching what's mine.

About Regrets: (friendship level 6)

*whispering* No, they're not weak, they'll survive. Even as innocent as they are, they're not naive but - Traveler, if you were in their place, would you... would you be able to forgive me?

Tsk, nevermind. Forget this ever happened.

For the good ending (calling it the Omamori Ending/AU)

Chat: Joining the Party

Alright, I'm here, let's get going. Slow down? Hah, maybe for you, but I've no time for chitchat. The sooner we're done here, the sooner I'm back home.

About Puppet Reader:

That look on your face - what? Can't believe someone like them is associated with me? If I had to pick one person to spend eternity with, I'll gladly destroy the rest of the world so it would be just us. Aren't I romantic? ... Why are you looking at me like that?

About Wanderer: Omamori Charm

It's just a protection charm. (Y/N) had picked up the hobby of making crafts recently, and this is just one of their many talents. You want one for yourself? Psh, please, you'd be a waste of their time - so don't ask them for one.

About Puppet Reader: Kindness

Such pure heart for a puppet wronged by this cruel world... A kindness like that is proof that they are of divine origins, something humans like you could never achieve. And that's exactly why no one else is worthy to stand by them but me.

About Wanderer: Wedding Ring (unlocked after wedding sq)

I'm glad your eyesight is still intact. If you're aware of my predicament now, why are you still separating me from my spouse for your nonsensical tasks?

When the Wind is Blowing (friendship level 4)

Little bird*... You better not be lost on your way home again *sigh*

Hope you liked it as much as I did writing it! Super fun oh it reminds me so much of Universe Reversal voiceline prompts hehe there would be more but this would just end up being a whole ass document if ever

*refers to Kouta, name of the bird they adopted to send letters

#exile.goblet #anon #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #about kintsugi #sumeru arc #exile.reader #gender neutral

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neon-lights-and-glitter · 1 year

Text

Fight The Feeling Pregnancy Announcement Insta AU

A/N- Thank you to @jackharloww for helping me with some of the fan comments!

Warnings- Some hate comments

Liked by Jackharlow, Urbanwyatt, Claybornharlow, Y/Nfan14, and 4,874,927 others

Yourusername Life lately with my plus one ❤️

Jackharlow Is that my shirt in the last photo 🤨

Yourusername Maybe 🫣

Jackharlow I've been looking for it for months

Yourusername It ended up in my suitcase at some point, and I may have never returned it

Jackharlow I should have known you had it, you do always steal my clothes

Yourusername I'm giving you a baby, the least you can do is let me steal a t-shirt

Jackharlow I'm pretty sure you have more of my clothes then I do

Yourusername So dramatic, I tried to give them all back, but I forgot some

Jackharlow I'm kidding, kind of, but you can have as many of my t-shirts as you want

Yourusername You're going to regret saying that when that's all I fit into

Jackharlow yeah, you're probably right

Claybornharlow I'm so glad you're having a baby with my brother, now you have no choice but to be in my life forever.

Yourusername Love you, you're stuck with me forever now

Claybornharlow Love you too, can't wait to annoy Jack with you forever

Urbanwyatt Can't wait for my best friend to have my new best friend.

Jackfan86 I love when Urban says Jack is his best friend

Urbanwyatt I'm not talking about Jack, I'm talking about Y/N

Jackharlow WHAT when did she become your best friend, this is news to me

Urbanwyatt The day I met Y/N obviously

Yourusername I stole the place of his best friend, I'm surprised you just realized it 🙄

Jackharlow Oh I realized it awhile ago I just thought we were both his best friend, I didn't realize I lost the title completely

Urbanwyatt Well, you can't have two best friends

Jackharlow Y/N, would you like to comment on this

Yourusername I can't tell Urban who his best friend is 🤷‍♀️

Yourusername You've held that title for years, you can give it up for a little while

Jackharlow Funny how Urban just texted me saying, don't worry, you're still my best friend, I just can't tell her that because she'll cry

Yourusername Urban just texted me saying you'll always be my best friend, Jack's never getting that title back

Jackharlow Urban, care to explain yourself?

Urbanwyatt 👨‍🦯

Yourusername Hey, I don't cry that much

Jackharlow You cried over donuts this morning

Yourusername …No comment

Yourusername Do I really cry that much?

Urbanwyatt No, you don’t

Jackharlow No comment

Yourusername Hey you can’t use my own response against me

Jackharlow But I did.

Jackharlow Does this mean I’m moving down to best friend #3?

Urbanwyatt 👨‍🦯

Jackfan38 Y/N is really giving model vibes in the first photo

Y/Nfan43 She is a model...

Y/Nfan10 AHH I'm so excited!!

Y/Nfan97 Fuck the person who posted that video, you shouldn't have had to announce anything unless you we're ready

Jackfan92 THIS!!

Jackfan32 Stay away from him!

Jackfan64 If she makes Jack happy, then we should be happy for him

Jackfan21 Uh, I think it's too late for that

Jackfan85 The couple I never knew I needed

Y/Nfan53 They are so cute

Y/Nfan09 Remember a couple months ago when Y/N was talking about the last time she had her heart broken and she looked so upset talking about how her ex cheated on her? I'm so glad she has Jack to make her happy again after that.

Jackfan30 Aww I'm so glad they make each other happy now

Jackfan39 Damn, Jack bagged her?? I thought I'd be mad when he got a girlfriend, but I'm kind of proud not going to lie

Y/NhaterJackfan428 Wait, they've haven't even been together for that long and she's already having his baby? Are we sure it's his?

Jackharlow We might not have been together that long, but Y/N makes me the happiest that I've ever been. I don't want any of my fans sending hate or saying rude things about Y/N, because if you were truly my fan and supported me, you would be able to see that. None of you know Y/N how I know Y/N and she is the sweetest and kindest person I know. Everyone who knows her would agree with me. She doesn't deserve any type of hate from anyone, especially someone who claims to be my fan.

Y/NhaterJackfan428 Just trying to look out for you

Jackharlow I can look out for myself

Liked by Yourusername, Urbanwyatt, Cozane, Jackfan48, Y/Nfan80, and 5,327,318 others

JackHarlow There's truly not enough words in the world for me to accurately tell you how much I love you. Thank you for always being by my side. I'm going to show you how grateful I am for you every single day.

Yourusername 🥹

Yourusername You're going to make me cry

Jackharlow I thought you didn't cry that much 🤔

Yourusername I cry when someone says something sweet to me

Jackharlow Well I love you, even if you cry a lot

Yourusername You just had to fuck it up with the last part of that 🙄

Yourusername But I love you too I guess

Jackharlow I'll take what I can get after my comment 🫣

Urbanwyatt So, I'm the godfather right?

Claybornharlow Uhh, no I'm going to be the godfather

Urbanwyatt Who's Y/N's best friend? She's going to pick me to be the godfather

Claybornharlow Who's Jack's brother? By DNA. I think I get godfather duties by default

Urbanwyatt You can have godfather duties but I get the title

Yourusername Who says we're going to pick either you?

Urbanwyatt Well who else are you going to pick?

Yourusername Well neither of you if you keep fighting over it

Jackharlow We haven't even thought about it yet

Claybornharlow On my way to bribe Y/N so she picks me, because lets be honest, who ever she picks Jack will agree too

Urbanwyatt 🙄

Y/Nfan193 Not Clay getting a love you but on Y/N's post but Jack gets a love you I guess 😂

Yourusername They share the spot of my favorite Harlow sibling sometimes, plus Clay brought me a milkshake, Jack just said I cry a lot

Urbanwyatt you can't bribe her with a milkshake to be the babies godfather

Clayborharlow I was just being nice

Urbanwyatt sure, I don't believe you

Jackharlow 🙄

Jackharlow Actually, keep this fight going, the less 3am trips I have to do to buy snacks the better

Jackfan29 Aww 🥹 I've noticed how happy Jack has been recently, now we know why, I thought it was just because of Y/N

Jack390 Well, its over for me now, I lost my shot 😭

JackhaterandY/Nfan4 I can't believe they are actually together, like why would Y/N settle for Jack.

JackandY/Nfan283 AHHH Can I trade places with an unborn baby 😭 I want Jack as a dad and Y/N as a mom 😭

Y/Nfan302 Literally 😭

Y/Nfan20 I wasn't prepared for this 😭😭

Jackfan3 My daddy is becoming a daddy 🤭

Y/Nfan028 I never knew I could be jealous of a person who isn't even born yet

Jackfan938 Jack really meant it when he said he wanted 8 daughters

Y/Nfan19 Wait where did you see the babies a girl??

Jackfan938 they haven't said yet, but I hope the babies a girl

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree

#jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader

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wheeboo · 9 months

Note

Talk about your moots; what do you like most about them (could be a paragraph or a single sentence, spread the love!!)

omgomg okay lets do this guys. just know i luv every single one of you and without any of you i would not be where i am rn today!! i'm sorry if u were not included its prob bcuz we haven't interacted much yet but i also suck at communicating lmaosdjfldjkkfds i really do not deserve any of you istg

@ylliris-hanniehae - ylli is so sweet n comforting :(( like she's been with me since almost the beginning of me posting on tumblr here and she's been so supportive ever since!! i love the conversations that we have together and she really feels like a little sister to me!! she deserves all the happiness in the world fr

@fairyhaos - yena was the first person i asked to be moots with on here LOL and i remember being like "omfg should i send the ask should i send it" and well i don't regret it one bit!! she's so bubbly and sweet and i will never not say this- she always puts on smile on my face as well as everyone elses!! her fics are also soo comforting and so creative i love it sm

@etherealyoungk - skye is SOO lovely like i remember the moment she liked my mingyu fic and me freaking out like I RECOGNISE THAT NAME RIGHT THERE and i dont regret asking to be moots with her!! i love when she checks in with not just me but everyone else around her she's just so sweet n caring :(( i also love when we randomly scream abt different dramas together lmaoo

@slytherinshua - zanna and i just clicked like a snap the moment we started talking and istg she's so entertaining and funny like there's never a dull moment talking to her!! i love screaming about park jihoon and kdramas w her!! she’s also introduced to so many new groups i’m grateful for that. i also adore our late night music sessions and when we watch dramas together and cry and laugh and just everything

@mirxzii - roxie deserves all the happiness n love and she's so supportive n so silly too !! also i think she's soo relatable w some of the stuff she has said lmaoo it's so goofy and she's also been with me since the very beginning and i very much thank her for that

@rubywonu - nia i miss her so much she's been busy w school so we haven't been able to talk a lot so everyone SEND LOVE TO HER RN. i remember silently gushing abt the love series she made with svt members and being moots and getting to know her i see she's so sweet n chill but ik she got that lil chaotic side to her

@icyminghao - noelle every time i interact w her i just have this giddy smile on my face like its so refreshing to talk to her!! she's busy these days cuz of exams so everyone PLS send love to her too. shes so sweet n i lLOVE it when she screams in caps its the most hilarious thing ever

@wqnwoos - hana her writing istg literally the best thing ever?? its like so delicate but also gets me giggling n kicking my feet fr HAHA like i love it sm. she's such a sweet n chill person to interact with i really hope that i could talk to her more. i also love the poems and words that she reposts because YES i see them it reminds of those poem slideshows on tiktok that either got me crying or the most relatable thing ever

@hannyoontify - kie is so lovely i really hope i can talk to her more!! she's just so sweet n nice n very supportive! also shes like a drum major so hella kudos to her for that such a hardworking queen fr!! i can't wait to interact w her more because ik she's a very fun person to talk to

@toruro - mika i still don't understand how i managed to be moots w her like i admire her sm!! her writing never fails to amaze me like i NEED her brain rn and shes just so pretty?? will never deny that i have a platonic crush on her lmaoo!! and whenever we talk it feels very comfortable and natural it kinda reminds me of catching up with a friend over coffee tbh

@kyeomyun - jada is SOO LOVELY N SUPPORTIVE i always love seeing her pop up in my notifs or inbox and when we scream at each other sometimes LMAO. she's just such a very fun person to talk and i hope we can have more one on one conversations w each other bcuz ik for a fact we're both gonna be screaming over SOMETHING

@blue-jisungs - axe is SO funny and bright and whenever she pops up in my notifs it literally brightens my day sm. like she's just soo infectious that i just can't help but smile?? also she loves kdramas so i hope one day we can scream at each other abt it because YES. her nails and hair are also slay ik for a fact she rocks anything

#i love every single one of u and if u werent here...#i still love u as well dont worry #ylli!#yena!#skye!#zanna!#roxie!#nia!#noelle!#hana!#kie!#mika!#jada!#axe!#friends ༊

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ivarlover · 1 year

Text

UNDENIABLE

(Sequel to UNLEASHED) Part 1

(It was supposed to be just one chapter, but a million and one words later, here we are)

Alex + Modern Ivar

Mentions of Female Reader + Hvitserk

I'm so sorry this sequel has taken so long. It has seriously kicked my ass. This was supposed to be just a one-shot but the story has come alive for me (& for my friend) and the need to write more can't be ignored. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it! 🔥

Summary: During a hot weekend with your classmate, Alex, and his best friend, Ivar, the two of them had their own fun together. And now, it had turned into what looked like a confusing situation in the light of day. What did it all mean to them now? What would happen with their friendship? Can they move forward as friends or has all been lost? Is friends to lovers even a possibility at this point?

Inspired by a naughty conversation with a friend of mine. 😍 (You know who you are).

Warnings: For this sequal in general; each chapter will have its own warnings.

Totally NSFW, Unprotected anal sex (male receiving), male to male contact and more, heartbreak, and a bad case of the feels, and smut, with me, there is ALWAYS smut 🤣

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think! And

*LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ON OR OFF THE TAG LIST*

Words: I don't know; there are many, many words 🤣

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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

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It had been a few days since the wild weekend at Y/N's place. Alex hadn't heard from Ivar, but he really hadn't thought much about it because he and Ivar would usually talk by at least Thursday evening or Friday morning to discuss their weekend plans for the bar. He assumed Ivar didn't want things to be weird, so he'd chosen to keep up with their usual. Although, if Alex said it didn't bother him a bit, he'd be lying.

All he had been able to think about was Ivar and their time together. He knew it had definitely changed things between them, but he did honestly hope it hadn't been a mistake. He sincerely didn't want to lose Ivar as his best friend. He'd find a way to forget anything had ever happened and never act on his feelings again if it was the only way for them to remain friends. He'd been able to hide his feelings this long, and he knew he could do it again if he had to.

He saw Y/N in class, and other than more than their usual flirting, things with them had been the same. He was relieved, too. He didn't think he'd like it if they were awkward.

It had been really hard for Alex to concentrate in class. When Friday rolled around and he still hadn't heard anything from Ivar, he decided he was ditching class. When you walked in, he told you, "Want to go have lunch with me instead of this damn class?"

You looked him up and down, winked, and said, "Oh, of course I do!"

"No, Y/N. I'm serious. I need someone to talk to."

Noting the seriousness in his tone, you answered him, "Oh shit. I'm sorry. OK. Sure. Let's go."

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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Sitting at the table, nibbling at his burger, Alex clearly looked stressed. He'd begin to speak, but then he'd stop himself. After doing that a couple of times, you decided to help him out. "Let me guess. You haven't heard anything from Ivar, and it's freaking you out?"

"Oh my God. How do you know that?" He asked, so panicked.

"I know the feeling. I've been there before myself, Alex," you tried, "But honestly, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Just chill a minute."

"How could you even possibly know that? I think he must regret everything and now I've probably lost my best friend, too. I'm such an idiot." Alex dropped his head to his hands and just shook it back and forth.

You leaned forward and grabbed one of his hands and squeezed. "Listen to me, Alex. You're being way too hard on yourself. This is all new to you, and I get it, but didn't you see how he was with you the rest of the weekend? He was an absolute sweetheart with you, Alex. It was obvious that he really cares for you. Something has probably just came up, and he's been busy. Why don't you just call him? The phone works both ways, ya know."

Alex seemed a bit surprised. You could see him thinking, probably remembering the weekend, "What? What do you mean the way he was with me? He's always a sweetheart. That's why I...I...ummm," he couldn't spit it out. You couldn't help but notice how cute he was when he was nervous like this.

"That's why you love him?" You decided to rip the bandaid off all at once. "And that's why you're flipping out right now." His eyes grew wide, and his mouth dropped, but he didn't say anything, not even when you waited for him to. So you began again, "Well, the way he made sure you were comfortable constantly, checking if you needed anything for one. I bet he was also like that when," you paused and looked around to be sure there wasn't anyone too close, and lowered your voice, "I bet he was also like that with you intimately in my bed, too, huh?"

His heart stopped, and he smacked you on the arm, trying desperately not to smile and failing. "Y/N!"

You laughed, "What? It's true. I know it is. Don't try playing shy with me after what we shared. He was almost, I don't know, protective of you. Like your needs were before anything. I also watched how he looked at you when you guys cooked breakfast for me, for us. He was in awe with you, Alex. His gaze on you was just so lovenly and appreciative, like he'd found gold with you. How would you not fall in love with that? Hell, I fell in love with the thought of the two of you just watching it all unfold. But umm, damn someone if they ever hurt you or even think of trying to because umm, well, he'd kill them!" You laughed again.

Alex just looked at you, completely stunned.

"Oh my God! Please tell me you noticed all of those things!" you huffed out.

"Well, I mean, umm, well, I don't know Y/N. Maybe? Kind of, I guess." You saw his wheels turning. "I guess I just didn't think anything about it and haven't analyzed it, umm like you clearly have," he laughed, "But if all of that is true, why has he ignored me all week? I mean, at minimum, we have a business to run together, and we've never gone this long without speaking, even if it's just a quick call to say, 'Hey, I'm busy. Do whatever you want with the bar this weekend and I'll be in touch soon.' But no, I haven't heard a word."

Alex looked so lost, so hurt, and unsure of himself. It broke your heart to see the pain across his face. "Look, just call him already!"

"Well, I'm..umm Fuck! I don't know. I don't want to come across as pushy or clingy. Or.. oh fuck! What if he regrets it, Y/N?" Alex dropped his head and stared at the table. You weren't sure but it seemed he was trying to fight back tears.

You hated how well you understood his feelings, but you knew, you seriously had felt what Ivar didn't say, that Ivar didn't regret the weekend's events. You also knew there was no convincing Alex so you didn't even try. You knew there was a logical explanation. It was just trying to figure out what it was. So rather than guess, you picked up Alex's phone from the table.

"Wait! Y/N! What the hell are you doing? No!" Alex seriously almost had a heart attack.

"Well, it's your fault. I told you Sunday I couldn't believe you didn't have a lock on your phone!" You laughed as you scrolled though his phone, quickly finding Ivar's number. "Now, here! Call him! For all you know, he thinks you're the one regretting everything," and you handed him his phone, already calling Ivar.

He looked at you, completely dumbfounded. You knew he wanted to just scream. He raised the phone to his ear just in time. "Hello?" Ivar's voice said on the other end of the line. Alex said nothing. You nudged him, trying to remind him to speak. "Umm, hello? Alex?" Ivar said again.

Finally, Alex came to his senses, "Hey, umm, Ivar. I just, umm, well, I haven't heard from you. I.., I just wanted to ask about this weekend. Umm, the bar? That couple is supposed to come in tomorrow to see if they want to use it for their after party. I.. ummm," Alex's heart was pounding. He couldn't remember another time being so nervous about a simple phone call and to his best friend at that.

Ivar quickly cut him off. "Umm, Alex, I'm sorry. I can't be there. Something important has come up. I promise you I'll explain as soon as I have the time, but can you handle it without me this time? I, I'll make it up to you."

Ivar sounded detached or distracted, almost cold, and as soon as Alex was going to ask if everything was ok, he heard a female voice in the background. "Ivar, darling, who is that on the phone? Can you please come help me with the wine, sweetheart?"

Alex's heart completely stopped. Sweetheart? Darling? He wasn't even able to respond at all when Ivar quickly began to speak over her, pretty much rushing Alex off the phone, "Hey, umm, Alex? I have to go. We'll talk soon, ok? Bye," and he abruptly hung up on Alex.

Absolutely stunned, Alex just looked at the phone, still in his hand, like it was something he'd never seen before, as if it was a foreign object from another planet. You took the phone from his grip and placed it on the table. He looked at you, fighting back the tears that were now swelling up in his eyes, nearly the same way he had the phone.

You were sitting close enough to him that you'd heard everything on the other end of the phone as well. It didn't make sense to you but you had no explanation. Looking at Alex absolutely broke your heart. He didn't have to say a word. It was written across his face. He was absolutely devastated. You wanted to tell him not to jump to conclusions, that this had proven nothing, good or bad, but you knew now wasn't the time.

Completely distraught, at a loss for more conversation, he looked over at you, "Umm, home? Please," his voice cracked.

"Absolutely," you put your arm around his waist as he stood up. He clearly needed the extra support. The two of you walked out.

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Not wanting him to be left alone at his place, you decided he was coming home with you. There wasn't any talking on the Uber ride there. He just looked out the window, completely lost in his thoughts.

Once in your living room, Alex basically fell to the sofa. He finally spoke, "Can I have a drink? The hardest thing you've got."

The two of you drank a glass of vodka together without even saying a word until you set your drink down and finally spoke up. "Alex, hey," you said softly. You placed your hand on his shoulder, and he looked at you, one tear finally breaking away from his eye and streaming down his cheek. You leaned over and wiped it from his cheek.

"Hey, there is no reason for you to be so upset. You seriously don't know anything yet. Give him a chance first. He said he'd explain when he could. This is all so new to you both, and you haven't outlined anything yet. I know you don't want to hear this right now, but you need to. If it really is what you think, he's technically not done anything wrong, yet."

He glared at you, and you felt the sting. "Look, all I'm saying is, yes, proceed cautiously, but take it easy on yourself, man. I know, Alex, I know that he did not use you. Just hold these awful feelings you have right now and wait until the two of you have a chance to talk."

Trying to catch his breath and prevent more tears, Alex sat quietly for a minute before he said anything. Breathing deeply, he finally began, "That's just it. He can be so fucking ruthless, Y/N. He probably felt ridiculous because of letting himself be put in such a vulnerable situation, with you and me both, that he went out and found some woman to take back to his place to fuck away his memory." He felt himself getting mad. "I thought I meant something to him but he just wanted a good time. He played me for a fool and I wanted to believe it so badly because I..umm, I.. it's not important. I just believed him because it sounded good in my fantasy world that anything with us could be real."

"Oh, Alex," you pulled him to you and gave him a hug, his head resting on your shoulder with your hand on the back of it. He began to cry, hard, his face now buried in your shoulder and hair.

What you wouldn't give to take his pain away! You couldn't even see, now, how sexy he was in your arms. All you saw was his heartbreak. And your heart seriously just broke into two pieces for him. "You're jumping to too many conclusions, Alex. There's no way he's that good of an actor that he fooled us both. I'm sorry you're so hurt, though. Cry it out here with me, babe. You'll be ok. I promise."

With his red, tear stained face, Alex looked up at you. You wiped his tears with one hand, the other still holding the back of his head. You moved his hair away from his face and leaned down to kiss him on his forehead.

Misunderstanding your intentions or maybe just to get his mind off of everything, as you leaned down to kiss his forehead, he leaned up and kissed you on the lips. It was such a sweet, tender kiss. His arm wrapped around your shoulder and he pulled you closer into him, deepening the kiss.

As your heart began to race, you began kissing him back, quickly remembering how nice his lips felt against yours. And then, suddenly, your entire body stiffened. You slowly pulled away from him and sat up on the sofa, dropping your arms from him. He gave you a confused look.

"Alex, you have to know I adore you. I would happily spend my days doing nothing but kissing you," you gave him a warm smile, "But not like this. You guys need to talk and figure things out before you and I can do anything else. I'm, umm, I'm sorry."

He shook his head yes. "No, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking, Y/N. But can I ask you something?" he asked sheepishly.

"Of course you can."

"Could I stay here tonight? I just don't feel like being alone in my place right now," his face flushed, "And don't worry, I can sleep right here on the sofa."

It felt kind of sweet that he felt comfortable asking you to stay and knew that he could trust you.

"Yes, of course," you said, "But Alex?"

"Yes?"

"You will not sleep on this uncomfortable sofa. You can sleep in the bed with me! I trust you." You smiled at him, and he finally gave you a small smile, too. "But no funny business, ok?" And you laughed.

"Thank you, Y/N." He hugged you so tightly it melted your heart.

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The next day, Alex went into the bar a little early. He wanted to be sure things were clean and looked nice for the couple that would be there a little later. Of course, he couldn't help but think about Ivar. It was so strange to be there doing this type of work without him.

He'd accepted that things weren't going to be the way he'd hoped. He really did actually understand and he knew he wouldn't be able to stay mad at Ivar for long. He really had no right. Y/N was right about that part, at least.

But. It just hurt. He yearned for Ivar's touch, his smell, their conversations, and stupid shenanigans. He missed their laughs and that connection of having someone by his side who truly knew him and understood him without the need to explain everything. He just hoped he wouldn't also lose him as a friend. He was sincerely worried about that.

As tears came to the surface, he pushed all his thoughts away. He knew he could do this. He'd be ok. He focused on work. That was what was best now.

As luck would have it, the couple decided to have their party at the bar. It would be the following Saturday night and he knew there was lots of work to be done. He was happy for this. He knew he'd be busy.

As something this big for the bar called for a celebration of sorts, Alex felt the need to share it with someone. He called you and invited you out to the bar for some dancing and drinks. You happily accepted.

You had such a great time. Alex was more like the Alex you knew. He was playful and fun and inappropriately flirtatious, as always. You felt like you'd been laughing all night, and it was great.

"Hey! I love this song!" Alex grabbed your hand, pulling you toward the dance floor. "Dance with me to this one, and then I'll take you home if you're ready."

"Don't you have to stay and close up?" you asked, surprised he'd offered you a ride. "I mean, you know I live close by."

"Umm, owner's perk. Hello. We have other guys to close up," he said, and you both laughed.

You could tell how much Alex loved to dance. It was fun just watching him and nice to see him in better spirits than the night before. You understood why people liked being around him. This mood of his was contagious.

As the song finished, a slower song began and you started to head back to your seats. He caught you by your wrist, twirled you around, and said, "Just one more?"

"Oh hell, why not?" and he pulled you closer to him, one arm wrapping around your waist, and the other hand holding yours as you began to sway back and forth. "This is nice, Alex. Thank you for such an entertaining evening," you said to him in his ear, trying to be sure he heard you. "I'm so happy that couple chose here for their party."

He smiled and told you, also in your ear, "You really are a great friend, Y/N. Thanks for helping me celebrate and keep my mind off of, well, you know, things." And as the two of you danced, your cheeks rested on each other's.

It was nice to be this close to someone so attractive and not feel any pressure from him. You knew the two of you were going to be even closer friends now, and you were actually excited just thinking about it. Now, if you could just help him get the Ivar part of it all figured out.

Oh, fuck! Ivar! You happened to be facing the door, and you saw Ivar standing in the front of the bar, just inside. At first, you thought you were seeing things. It was like you'd thought him up. He was just standing there, watching the two of you intently, with a strange look across his face.

Relieved, you waited for him to walk up to you guys to surprise Alex, but he never did. When you looked back at the doors for him, he hadn't moved. He looked violent, almost like a pcycho, and honestly, it scared you.

You hadn't noticed until Alex spoke, but you had completely frozen there where you were and had stopped dancing altogether, as your eyes locked with Ivar's. "Y/N, what's wrong? What happened?" Alex asked, completely oblivious, still, that Ivar was a bit behind him, watching.

"Ummm, Alex, don't flip out, but umm, Ivar is staring at us."

"WHAT?! Don't flip out? Why would I flip out? Oh my God! Where is he?" Alex turned around as you told him he was by the door. He instantly spotted him. "What the hell is he doing? Why doesn't he..." and he stopped talking for a second and froze, too. "Awe, fuck! Look Y/N, stay here. I'll be right back."

"But, Alex. Wait. No. But..."

He interrupted you, "Seriously, I know that look of his. Just wait for me. OK? I'll be back." He saw your worried look and told you, "Seriously, Y/N, he's not going to hurt me. He is just pissed. I'll be right back," and as he turned to walk toward Ivar, Ivar went out the door.

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Alex sped up to catch up to him. As he stepped outside, he saw Ivar walking quickly toward the parking deck. "Hey, Ivar! Wait up!" Alex called out to him. Ivar kept going, never stopping or turning around. "Ivar!" Alex yelled again and continued to follow him.

As they made it just into the parking deck, Alex finally caught up to Ivar. He placed his hand on Ivar's shoulder and gently squeezed. "Hey, man! Didn't you hear me? Why are you leaving so quickly without coming to talk to us?" Ivar stopped dead in his tracks but didn't answer or turn around. "Ivar, what's wrong? Please, talk to me. Look, there's no pressure from me. I just don't want to lose my best friend. I,..umm, I've missed you." Alex turned Ivar around facing him.

To Alex's surprise, Ivar had tears in his eyes and looked down at the ground. He pulled away from Alex, making Alex's hands fall from his shoulders. He started to turn back around to continue walking away when Alex said, "Really? I haven't heard from you in a week, and you're just going to act like it's nothing. You're not going to talk to me or anything and just leave?" He tried to control himself. He knew he was on the verge of tears himself, but he didn't want to cry in front of Ivar.

Ivar turned back and looked at Alex. Fighting back his tears, he finally answered him, "I, I have to leave, Alex. I, umm, I can't stay and talk to you. I can't, not now. Now isn't the time."

Alex took a step closer to him, "Fuck, Ivar, stop talking in riddles and just tell me what's wrong. What happened? You owe me that much, don't you think?" He knew he sounded a lot more pissed than he'd intended but he couldn't help it. He needed answers.

"Fine. I guess we're doing this," Ivar practically growled at him. "I came to talk to you in the bar...but I saw you with Y/N. You sure as hell didn't appear to be missing me then."

Completely shocked, Alex answered him, "You've got to be shitting me!" As he began, he felt his blood begin to boil with anger. "You came to talk to me AT WORK? After a fucking week. A fucking week, Ivar! I panicked around my house, couldn't concentrate in class, and fucking cried myself to sleep just last night," he shuddered at the memory, "But you, you waited a fucking week and then have the balls to get pissed at ME for being with Y/N?! What the fuck! For your information, all Y/N has done is try to help me, try to convince me to not give up on you, and try her best to make sense of all these questions you've left me with. I, I thought we were closer than that, Ivar. I'm sorry. I, umm," he paused for a minute, cathching his nerve and fighting his, still very present, tears, "I thought we were at the beginning of something here. But, I... umm, I can see you regretted it. Fine, but you owe me an explanation! At the very least!" As he waited for some kind of response, he felt his heart slowly crumbling.

Ivar couldn't believe his ears. This is why he didn't want to talk right now. He knew they had too many emotions, too much anger, and unanswered questions, but seeing Alex like this, knowing how hurt he was, just broke Ivar. That had not been the plan. Not at all.

However, seeing Alex with Y/N like that, all happy, dancing with her like he didnt have a care in the world, without him, had struck a nerve in him, one he hadn't expected. Especially with the horrible week he'd had. The week he knew he needed to explain to Alex.

Now that he looked at Alex, all his anger evaporated almost as quickly as it had appeared. Deep down, he knew he had no right to be upset about Alex being with Y/N at all, no right to be jealous. Wait. Is that what it was? Was he jealous? Of all people! He knew he had no reason to be jealous of Y/N, but he couldn't help how he felt. That's why he'd been trying to leave without saying something he didn't really mean, something he knew he'd regret.

He realized he really needed to take the time to figure out what all this truly was and, yes, that they needed to talk. He just knew this wasn't the place. There was too much to discuss.

Ivar finally began to speak, placing his hand on Alex's cheek. As he did, tears streamed down Alex's face which pissed him off but he couldn't control it. "Alex, I, I don't know where to even begin. There's so much to say, to discuss." Alex didn't say a word, waiting for Ivar to continue, his stare piercing into Ivar. "So much has happened and I don't know how to handle it all, but seriously, it's too much to talk about here."

Alex couldn't remember another time when he'd felt so insecure. So he'd been right. Ivar did regret it. He figured he may as well cut to the chase and go ahead and get all the breaking done at once. "Ivar, it's ok. I don't hold it against you and I don't have unrealistic expectations here," his heart broke more with each word as the tears continued despite him trying to will them to stop and to sound strong. "I just, I miss my best friend. We said we wouldn't do this."

Ivar missed him, too, but he knew they couldn't do this right now. "Alex, I.." Ivar began speaking, but his phone rang, so he took it out of his pocket.

"Are you serious right now?" Alex couldn't believe Ivar would answer his phone at a time like this, right in the middle of their important conversation.

Ivar looked at his phone screen, "Shit! Alex, I'm sorry. I can't explain right now but I have to take this." He took a few steps away and answered the call. Alex simply stood there, dumbfounded.

Although Ivar had stepped away, it apparently wasn't far enough because Alex could still hear the voice on the line with Ivar. The same female voice from the other night spoke, and Alex could just make out the words, "Sweetheart, where are you? I need you to come home. Now." The words struck Alex like a knife.

He heard Ivar's panicked voice. "Yes, yes! Ok! Yes, I'm on my way! I'm sorry." As Ivar continued to explain himself to whoever was on the phone, Alex decided he'd heard enough. He'd tried. He'd truly thought they could have fixed things at least so that their friendship could be saved but now, he wasn't so sure. He'd never seen Ivar like this before , so apologetic, and he no longer felt like staying around for him to explain.

As the final pieces of his heart broke, Alex turned and walked back toward the bar, never looking back.

Once Ivar hung up the phone, he turned to try to explain to Alex why he must leave now, in such a hurry. Alex was no longer standing there. He called out his name but there was no answer. He felt torn. He wanted to go after Alex but he really did need to go back home. After a minute of deliberation, Ivar went to the car he'd driven there in and got in. Looking back to where Alex had been standing, he sat there a minute and then finally drove away.

@lostasalice-thisway @vero-maris-zamo @istorkyou @lonewolf471 @ivarhoegh @chapada010101010 @Lemonsarepink

#alex hogh andersen x reader #ivar the boneless smut #ivar the boneless fic #alex hogh andersen #alex høgh andersen #alex hogh x reader #alex hoegh andersen

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sturkillerbase · 2 years

Text

It's All Coming Back to Me in Waves

PART VI

Summary: Din is being haunted by nightmares, and nothing you try seems to work in helping him. There's still something you haven't tried though, which will lead him to be even more thankful to you than he already was.

Genre: Fluff. Like, super fluff. Marshmallow fluff.

Song rec: Don't you dare (make me fall in love with you) - Kaden MacKay

Warnings: nightmares, but there's no description of them. Quick mention to alcohol and drug use.

Words: 5,1k

A/N: I highly recommend that you listen to the song. It's so beautiful and it fits the relationship between Mando and reader SO well.

A/N 2: I am so sorry it took me so long to post part VI, but I fell into a bad mental breakdown that completely stopped me from being able to write. Still, hope you enjoy this one because next part is not going to be so pretty eheheheheh

Part V; Masterlist

Come With Me

You could hear him shuffling on the bed from where you were laying on the couch. It had been hours since you all said your goodnights and headed to your sleeping spots. You couldn’t fall sleep though. Not due to the muffled noises coming from upstairs, no. At first, slumber just didn't come to you, but Din slept peacefully upstairs. That is, until the nightmares started.

It started with low, almost inaudible groans. Slowly they became complaints, words that you couldn't make out, but that were covered in anguish and despair. He called out for many things: for help, for his parents, for mercy. The memories of that dreadful day on Aq Vetina when Separatist droids raided the planet, causing the death of several civilians, including his parents.

He inhaled sharply all of a sudden and you knew he had woken up, breathing hard through his mouth, trying to recover from the turmoil his mind had made him go through once again. He sighed loudly, grunting, and since then he'd been turning and shifting on the bed, unable to fall asleep again.

It broke your heart to hear him go through this. You knew how frequent nights like this were, and it made your chest ache. If only you had the power to take all of his pain and suffering away...

A few minutes later you heard him get up, bare feet tapping the wooden floor, making the stairs creak as he made his way to the kitchen.

"They still haunt you..." you said from the couch as he filled a glass with water, all in the dark. He sighed once again.

"Yes..." he pondered as he drank the liquid "They're less frequent now. But they’re still there… I’m sorry that I woke you up" he said.

"You didn’t. I couldn't sleep.” you sat up, hearing him walk towards you and then carefully sitting down on the couch you were on.

“These nightmares had become rarer when we were together,” he admitted, and soon cleared his throat as he thought over his choice of words. “I mean, when—when I came to visit frequently, that is. But they came back all at once the moment I left…” you could hear the regret in his voice as he spoke. Parting ways had been as difficult for him as it had been for you, but you hadn’t talked about that yet. Remembering it was hard, and none of you knew what was ahead of you now, several years later. “Grogu helped a lot, though.” He broke the silence “That little womp rat has no idea how much he’s helped me.” He chuckled fondly and you smiled.

“I’m pretty sure he knows.” You assured him. You were certain that Grogu, however young, understood much more than he seemed to.

After a moment of silence, Din’s hand found yours in the dark, and you looked down at them in surprise even though you couldn’t actually see them. He got up and tugged your hand slightly.

“Come with me.” He said.

“Where?” You asked, confused, to which he chuckled.

“Upstairs. Remember what we used to do when I had nightmares?”

“Oh!” You exclaimed as you realized what he had in mind. “I—I hope it still works.” You said, pushing the blanket aside and getting up.

“I’m sure it does.” Din said, leading you towards the stairs “Careful now.” He let you go up the stairs in front of him, following closely behind, still holding your hand.

You were caught you by surprise when he placed his free hand on your hip. It was a protective gesture – he didn’t want you tripping and getting hurt for going up the stairs in complete darkness. But it made your heart skip a beat, and you swallowed, trying not to focus too much on his touch on you.

Once you made your way to the bed, you two got on it, making yourselves comfortable. That was much easier now that you had a double bed, unlike those years back.

“Comfy?” He whispered to you, trying to not wake Grogu up. The kid was fast asleep, tucked in on his floating crib by the bed.

“Yeah. Scooch in.” you answered, opening your arms for him to come closer.

Din approached slowly, being careful with his hands; he didn’t want to touch you anywhere that would seem inappropriate - he’d never do that, much less without your consent. He carefully placed an arm over your stomach, leaning in closer and laying his head on your chest. You wrapped your arms around him, holding him close. He was too big for you, always had been, but that had never been an issue to you. You liked it, actually. You liked it a lot, but never dared to express the other L word that lived in your heart.

When he felt your arms around him, holding him close, he couldn’t help but pull you closer too, burying his face deeper into your chest and taking a deep breath. It was like all of his worries and sad memories had melted away from his mind, and he fell in a state of peace that he hadn’t felt in years. He could feel your steady breath, and a heartbeat that was beating a little faster than normal, which made him smile to himself – his heartbeat was faster at that moment too.

You brought a hand up and began grazing your fingernails lightly on his scalp, drawing from him a satisfied groan that was impossible for him to hold back. You chuckled at that, and placed a kiss on the top of his head, and at that moment, Din was entirely sure nothing had changed between the two of you, regardless of a decade of immeasurable distance.

Bit by bit, you felt him sink deeper into you and the mattress, and as he felt heavier against your form, you could tell he had finally fallen asleep, a more than deserved rest. Soon after, you followed, a ghost of a smile across your lips as you relished in the thought and the feeling of the person that meant more to you than you could ever explain comfortably pressed against your body.

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11 years ago

For the fourteen days Din had been with you, he’d had only three nights where he was able to actually sleep well and rest. Being with you helped a lot - you calmed him down just by being in the same room as him. But there were times that were more difficult for him. He still had his ups and downs.

It was starting to show, though. He was tired, worn out, his mood swinging as daytime passed, and if you could see his face, you’d see his tired, red eyes surrounded by dark circles, his messy hair, and a few small cuts he’d made by accident when shaving, too tired to perform any task properly. In short, he was a mess.

You didn’t want to mention it directly. He didn’t like talking about his past and the nightmares that haunted him since he was a child. But it was painful to see him like that and not be able to do much about it. So, you decided to do what you could: you’d suggested going on longer walks, you took him out, you made him calming teas at night, suggested books with easy-flow and calming stories, and you even went hiking. Maybe if he was tired or relaxed enough at bedtime, he’d be able to have a good night's sleep. But nothing seemed to be working.

At this point, you didn’t know what else to do. You just wanted to tell him you were there with him and to hold him.

Hmm, you hadn’t tried that yet.

Realizing this, you remembered how you used to run to your mom’s bed when you were a kid every time you had bad dreams. She’d hold you close and run her fingers through your hair. That always made you calm down, and you were able to fall asleep peacefully after that.

You thought thoroughly about it during the day, wondering if it would be okay, if you wouldn’t be trespassing Din’s boundaries. You concluded that you had to give it a try, for his own sake.

You brought it up after dinner, when you were both resting in the living room. You were embroidering a small, round scenery full of flowers, and he was helping you by passing the different colored threads through the eyes of several needles. You had offered to teach him how to embroider a while ago, but he was an absolute mess at it. After several messy tries, he said he preferred to just thread the needles to help you out and watch you do it instead. You didn’t insist, of course, but told him to let you know if he ever changed his mind.

You were on the couch and he was by your side, sitting cross legged on the floor, the embroidery materials laid out on the coffee table.

“Din?” you called his name softly. He answered with a hum, eyes focused on the needle he was holding. “I was thinking about something. I hope you won’t mind.”

He turned to look at you, curious about what the subject could possibly be for you to say that.

“Go ahead.” He encouraged you.

“Well…” you brought the needle up to your eye level as you pulled the thread through the fabric, finishing a seam. You passed the needle through the fabric to keep it in place and dropped the embroidery frame to your lap. “We don’t talk about it. And I don’t mention it because I know you don’t like to bring it up. But…” you paused and sighed before continuing. “Your nightmares. They’ve become more frequent. And worse, it seems.”

Din looked away, feeling embarrassed by the situation even though he had no need to. He knew you had noticed. There was no way you wouldn’t, to be fair. He’s been more vocal during them, and the fatigue in him as he went through the day was impossible to miss, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

“A child could handle them better than I do, I know.” He scoffed at himself. “I’m sorry that I’ve bothered your sleep so many times now.” He said, without looking at you.

“No, Din, no. That’s not why I’m bringing this up now.” You put the embroidery frame away and dropped to the floor, sitting by his side and placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m worried about you. I tried many things to either calm you down before bed or tire you up during the day, but nothing’s worked. I can tell how exhausted you are, both physically and mentally. And we can’t risk it getting to you in the middle of a fight. You could be severely injured or worse, and I really don’t want that to happen. And I’m tired of laying on this couch, hearing you suffer all alone, and not being able to do anything about it.”

Silence fell between the two of you when you finished saying what you wanted to say most. He knew you were being sincere. He appreciated your concern and everything that you had silently done in an attempt of helping him. All of it meant more to him than he could ever put in words.

“I’ve tried so many other things to get them to stop in the past.” He said. “I’ve tried staying awake for as long as my body could take it before collapsing. I’ve tried getting drunk, and I’m glad we didn’t meet when I was doing so. You would’ve hated me then, always looking around for liquor and taking whatever drop of alcohol I could find. I’ve trying taking sleeping pills. First one, then two, and then several at a time… Nothing stops them. The nights they decide to haunt me, there’s not a single thing that can hold them back.”

You gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze, looking at him as he spoke, his gaze fixed on the floor, ashamed to look at you.

“I don’t know what to try anymore, except for one thing. And I hope it works, because it’s driving me mad how I just can’t seem to be able to help you.” You confessed.

“You don’t have to worry about me like that, Y/N. It- It sucks. But I don’t want to be a burden to you. I’ll learn to live with it someday. I could sleep in my ship in the meantime so I won’t wake you up in the middle of the night anymore. I don’t you to be exhausted because of me.”

“Don’t even bother with that.” You told him. “I do worry about you. A lot. You mean so much to me, and I’d be a terrible person if I just ignored your problems and the things that are bothering you. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try to help you. You don’t have to learn to live with it. If there’s a solution, then we’ll find it. And I don’t mind spending some nights awake if it’s to help you feel better. Please, let me try.” You were almost begging him.

“I don’t want to bother you with it more than I already have.” He said in a low voice, stubborn to accept any kind of help, even if it came from you.

“It’s not a bother.” You said, sternly.

He looked away from you again, deep in thought and guilt. He felt like he didn’t deserve to be aided by someone like you. And he felt even worse thinking that he was a burden to you, the person that had looked after so many times, the person who gave him shelter whenever he came by, always greeting him with a big smile and arms open wide.

But he was tired. And he would have to admit it to himself sooner or later. He wouldn’t last long if things continued to be as they were now. And you were right, in his line of work, it was dangerous. After a couple minutes in complete silence and trying to avoid the feeling of your piercing gaze on him, he finally surrendered.

“What do you have in mind?” he asked, turning to look at you. You smiled, happy that he was accepting your help.

“It’s not much, but… You see, when I was little, I would run to my mom whenever a nightmare invaded my dreams. She’d hold me close, rub my arms to calm me down. And while I was with her, I knew nothing could get to me. And then I was able to sleep peacefully again.” You told him. “What I was thinking about was that, maybe, if you felt protected, then the nightmares couldn’t get to you.” You gave him a half, shy smile, followed by a subtle shrug of your shoulders.

It was a dumb idea. Childish even. You knew it. But it was worth a try. You weren’t his mother, nor related to him by any way. But there was no denying for how much you cared for him. The feelings you had for him only grew stronger each day, and you were determined to make him feel better and be happier, even though you knew you’d never be able to actually be with him. Given that, looking out for him was enough for you. Or so you tried to convince yourself.

“So, what do you suggest?” He asked again, and you chuckled lightly at his obliviousness.

Getting up, you walked to the light switch to turn the lights off, the warm clarity of the bedside lamp upstairs being the only source of light to guide your way. You walked back towards him and held out your hand for him to take.

“Come with me.” You said.

“Where?” he asked, confused, but taking your hand and standing up either way. He’d go wherever you lead him.

“Upstairs.” You chuckled lightly. “Let’s try something out.”

Holding his hand, you guided him up the stairs and to the bed, stopping by it and turning to face him again.

“I’ll hold you while you sleep, if that’s okay with you.” You revealed to him what he hadn’t been able to realize by himself yet.

His eyes grew wide under the helmet, and he could feel his heart immediately beating faster against his chest. He looked from you to the bed, and then back at you. He inhaled before answering you, not having realized he’d stopped breathing when he heard you.

“… Okay.” He simply said, not being able to say anything else. You smiled, happy that he agreed to your idea.

Pushing the covers aside, you sat on the bed first, reaching for the sleep mask he’d given you that lied on the nightstand. You were both in your pajamas already, as you did most nights, so there was no need to change clothes. You’d become close enough to wear whatever you wanted around each other and not feel uncomfortable or weirded out by it.

“So you can take your helmet of.” You explained, holding the mask up before fixing it on over your eyes. You laid down, getting yourself comfortable, and once you did, you opened your arms to invite him in. “Scooch in.”

He got nervous, despite the fact that you both had been physically very close to each other in the past, like when you danced, or when you watched the Aurora Borealis, and every time you hugged. You often found ways to touch one another and stay close. Too much for just friends, most would say. But holding back was something that had been left in the past, since none of you could do it anymore. This was different though. Much more intimate than all the other times.

He took off his helmet, placing it on the nightstand. Carefully, he climbed on the bed, and maneuvered his way around your body, panicking as he tried to not end up touching you in an inappropriate way. He very carefully and slowly laid his head on your chest and then threw his arm over your stomach, just under your breast.

You could tell he was holding back, afraid to touch you or even hurt you. He would get no rest if he spent the night completely stiff, all the muscles in his body tensed up. Embracing him with your arms, you pulled him closer, earning a surprised small inhale from him. He was big, and his shoulders were wide, so you had to press your arms around him in order to be able to hold him entirely. His heart rate went up, but he didn’t mind your gesture. You began stroking his back in little circles, lightly at first, but putting more pressure into it as you felt his tension start to melt away. As he relaxed, you brought your other hand up to his hair, twirling your fingers through his soft hair and caressing his scalp. That was what made him surrender himself completely into you. You could feel his whole weight on you now, and his muscles were relaxed. He nuzzled closer into your chest and held you tighter, breathing in and letting out a deep, satisfied sigh.

“Feeling better?” you asked him.

“Much better.” He mumbled against your chest, slumber quickly getting to his tired body and mind. You chuckled, and he loved to hear it resonating through your chest.

“Good. We’re at least on the right direction, then.” You said.

“Even if I still have nightmares tonight, I’ll at least have rested, that’s for sure” he admitted.

He started rubbing slow, small circles on your side, and a few minutes of silence went by before you spoke again.

“Often when you are off world and I can’t sleep, I open the ceiling windows so I can look at the night sky.” You told him. “I look up at the stars and wonder if I can see you coming back to me. If the shooting star that just crossed the sky could be a glimpse of the sunlight reflecting on the Crest. I miss you when you’re not around.”

He sighed at your confession, also being guilty of always wondering when he could get back to you himself.

“I miss you too.” He confessed. “I’m always looking forward for the moment I can fly back to you… I wish I could stay forever.”

“Me too…” you agreed. “But you know you can stay forever if you ever decide to, don’t you?”

“I do…” he paused for a few seconds. “Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“I—” He started, but stopped himself from saying those three little words that had been caught in his throat for so long now. No. Better not to say them. “Thank you.” He whispered instead.

You couldn’t help the smile that spread on your face, oblivious to the words he’d hidden from you.

“Don’t mention it.” You said and kissed the top of his head. He nuzzled into you more than he already had.

That night, Din slept peacefully like he hadn’t been able to in years. No dreams, but no nightmares either. Only the sound of your heartbeat in your chest, the crickets outside, and deep, deep sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up slowly the next morning, laying on your side and tucked in under the blanket. The sleep mask was crooked on your face, but still covering your whole sight. You turned, laying on your back, starting to come to your senses. You couldn’t feel Din by your side, and given it was a single bed, it was unlikely that he was still there. Still, you reached out your arm to feel the mattress, just to make sure.

“Din?” you called out softly. You didn’t want to risk taking off your mask and seeing him still on the bedroom, helmet off.

“Down here.” He answered from downstairs, voice already covered by the synthesizer of his helmet. You were surprised that he had heard you though.

It was when you noticed a sweet, delicate smell in the air. It was good and made your mouth water, but it made you confused.

“Are you cooking?” you asked, voice louder now.

“Um…” he paused, assessing the mess in front of him. “Kind of.” He answered.

That was surprising and cute. You knew he lacked the skills to make a simple meal, frequently messing up scrambled eggs and even instant noodles. How he managed to mess up the latter was still a mystery to you.

“Do you need help?” You offered.

“No!” He was quick to answer, desperate even. “Sorry. Um, no, thank you.” He corrected himself.

“Okay.” You said, not sure if you should be amused or suspicious. Taking off your mask and putting it aside, you pushed the blankets off of you and spoke again. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“No, no, no!” He almost shouted “Stay there!”

Alright, now you were definitely suspicious.

“Is everything alright down there?” You asked, frowning.

“It is. Just- Just stay there. Stay on the bed.”

You started picturing scenarios of all sorts, trying to figure out what was going on. Out of many things, one made you speak out again:

“Din, did you ruin my favorite pot?!” You heard him chuckle at you as he fumbled with things.

“No, I didn’t even touch it. Promise.” He said with a smile on his voice. “Are you still on the bed?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. I’m coming up.”

You sat cross legged on the bed, watching as he started to show up the stairs. Once you could see his chest, you understood why he was being so mysterious. He was carrying a tray on which you could spot a glass, a cup and other things. He walked over to you, sitting on the edge of the bed and placing the tray carefully in front of you.

“I made you breakfast!” He said, cheerfully.

On the tray there was a plate with French toasts on it, sprinkled with sugar and cinnamon, a cup of hot coffee, a glass of juice, and a bowl full of fresh, red berries. It had all been gingerly placed, most likely planned too. But what got you the most was the small, delicate flower he had placed on top of the napkin.

“You did this for me?” You asked him, looking from the tray to him in awe, placing a hand on your chest.

“I, um, yes. I’m not very good at cooking, as you know. This is the only thing I could think of that I can do without, well, ruining it completely. And I still burned the first ones and had to throw them away. And the kitchen is a mess, but don’t worry, I’ll clean it later. Also, I cut my finger.” He held up his hand, showing you the injured finger, a band aid sloppily wrapped around it. You would have to fix that up later.

“It’s French toast, coffee, juice and fruit, how did you even manage to cut yourself?” You asked, grinning.

“I have no idea either” he admitted and you chuckled, making him chuckle with you. “Eat.” He said.

You picked a berry, savoring it and then having a sip of juice. When you put the second berry in your mouth, you realized something.

“We didn’t have any berries at home.” You said. “Where did you get them?”

“I went to the market. I know you like to have berries with your French toast.” If you weren’t already taken away by his kindness, you were even more now.

“How long have you been up?” It wasn’t too late in the morning, meaning he’d been up for some time now to be able to do all that before you woke up.

“A while.” He said, slightly uneasy. “I got nervous, so I got up early. Eat.” He told you to before you could have the chance to ask him why he’d gotten nervous.

You took a bite of the French toast, closing your eyes and humming in approval. They were the best you had ever had.

“What have I done to deserve this?” You looked back at him, taking another bite.

“I didn’t have any nightmares tonight, and I slept better than I have in years. I haven’t felt this well rested in ages, and it’s all thanks to you.” He told you. “I wanted to thank you.”

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear that from you.” You smiled fondly at him. “I’m so glad that you’ve finally rested. I’ll be honest, I haven’t slept so peacefully as I did tonight in a long time too. But I’m glad for you. I worry about your health, about you. And I hope the nightmares become less frequent now or don’t even show up anymore. I’m more than happy to help. But, really, this” you motioned to the tray in front of you. “I didn’t even do much. There was no need to thank me for that.”

“Of course there was. And it’s not just for tonight. I know you’ve been trying to help me with this for the past weeks. You know I don’t like to talk about it, so you didn’t mention it, doing your part silently. I noticed it all, and I am very thankful for that. And that’s only one of the many things you have done for me ever since we met. You are so good to me. It was about time for me to express my gratitude. If there’s anyone in here who’s not deserving of anything, it’s me.”

Din wasn’t very vocal, and he was not very good at showing, well, anything. Still, you knew how he felt. You knew he was aware of everything that went on between you two. You could see through him, helmet or not. He didn’t have to say a word, because you knew from his actions, from all the little things he did. He was thoughtful, kind, caring. He always had your back, just like you had his. But even if you knew he was thankful to you – as you were to him – it was nice to hear him say how he felt. It’s needless to say you were caught by surprise.

“You deserve the whole world and much more, Din.” You leaned forward to place your hand on top of his. “It’s very good to hear you say all that, but know there’s no need to thank me. I do it all because you matter to me and I want to see you well and happy. And I’m very grateful for all you have done for me, too. My life’s had a whole new meaning ever since the day I met you. You changed everything.” You gave his hand a gentle squeeze, looking at him fondly and giving him a warm smile. You knew he was smiling under the helmet too.

He got up and walked around the bed to sit by your side, doing his best to not disturb the contents on the tray too much. Once he was properly sat by your side, he pulled you into a tight hug, to which you quickly responded by wrapping your arms around him as well. As you pulled away, he gave the tip of your nose a very gentle tap with his finger, and you giggled.

You took another bite of your toast, followed by a sip of coffee. As you put the cup down, he chuckled, looking at you.

“What?” you looked at him, confused.

“There’s sugar on your lips.” He said.

“Oh.”

You were about to reach for the napkin when he held your chin gently, and wiped away the sugar with the thumb of his free hand. Maker only knows how much he wished to clean that sugar away by kissing your lips. You parted your lips slightly, gazing up at him in surprise – those beautiful eyes of yours did nothing to help him contain himself, but he did the best he could.

Looking away from you for a moment, he picked the flower from the tray and placed it behind your ear.

“Two beautiful flowers.” He said.

You felt yourself blushing hard, immediately looking away. You took another sip of coffee in an attempt to calm your nerves down, and a shy smiled appeared on your lips as you did so. Din didn’t miss it.

From that day on, there wasn’t a time that you didn’t sleep together, easily and peacefully falling asleep in each other’s arms. Din’s nightmares were gone.

Taglist:

@scorpio-marionette

@supernaturalgirl20

@misspearly1 / @misspearlssideblog

@becksxoxo

@eylaudie

@janebby

@thegreenkid

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x you #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #star wars #sw #slow burn #fluff #pedro pascal #the book of boba fett #tbobf #grogu #sturkillerbase #sturkiller writes #it's all coming back to me in waves

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 2 years

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I know you probably get this a lot but would you consider writing a part 2 for Guardian Angel? It doesn't necessarily have to be long or anything. Just a small closure 😭😭 I beg

Yeah, there's been a few! It's my biggest WIP and idk how to develop this in an organic way. I've tried sooo many times and hate it every time, this just sits in my WIPs in shame lol. This though, down below is the bit I always keep. Hopefully it bring some closure!

READ PART 1 First if you haven't yet

The constant beeping was what brought her back. Her eyes blinked open slowly to a white room, it was far too bright for her liking and there was a woman beside her, writing something down on a clip board.

“Oh you’re awake!” The voice was familiar, she realized it was Angela.

“Angela?” She whispered. Her center feeling in so much pain.

“Yes dear, you got yourself in quite the situation, but you’ll be all better soon. Being human-born is what helped you pull through.” She explained and Y/N smiled through the pain, “I’m surprised you survived, though.” She shared and Y/N shook her head.

“It was risky, but I had to save Harry.” She said and Angela nodded in understanding, “After all this I’m sure I’ve been reassigned, but I understand. Just make sure he gets someone really good, okay?” She told Angela, who just offered a soft smile and nod in return.

“Y’know, there’s someone out there who’s very eager to see you.” She said and Y/N smiled.

“Get Gerald in here.” She shook her head tiredly with a smile. Angela walked to the door and smiled as she opened it up.

“She’s awake.” Y/N heard Angela say faintly as she stepped out of the room. She was trying to crane her neck upward, but it shot a pain through her so horrible she couldn’t move anymore and her eyes clenched shut in a wince. When she felt a hand on hers her eyes opened up and to her surprise the eyes were green, a green she knew all too well. Despite the tears, there was a smile on his face that brought warmth to her entire body and all she could get out as she peered up at him with a smile so big it hurt was:

“Harry.”

“Hey love.” He sniffled and she furrowed her brows in confusion.

“Wait how are you here?” A small frown came to her face.

“We’re still on my side of the world if m’not mistaken.” He confirmed with a smile and bloodshot eyes, “I’m never going to see you again, am I?” He asked sadly.

“Probably not. S’my fault though, I knew the risks and still did it.” Y/N explained through a hoarse voice.

“This sucks.” He shook his head, squeezing her hand.

“Yeah, it does, but I don’t regret the time we got to spend together.” She said softly and he smiled.

“Me either.” Just then Angela walked in, still looking like a nurse.

“Sorry to interrupt.” She said and Y/N shook her head.

“It’s alright, come on in.” Y/N said and Angela stepped inside.

“Ummm, it’s time.” She informed and Y/N frowned.

“What’s gonna happen to her?” Harry asked, squeezing Y/N’s hand a little bit tighter.

“Well first thing is that we’re gonna have to wipe the memories from Y/N and from you.”

“But why?” He frowned.

“Because it’ll only do you more harm than good, Harry. Since a lot has happened between you two it just has to be done. Then, we’re gonna give Y/N a few days to recover and then determine whether she’s strong enough to continue being a guardian angel. Sometimes these kinds of injuries can impact an angel’s powers for eternity, especially if they’re sustained while in human form.” Harry glanced to Y/N worriedly, “Then, we’re going to determine if she can remain your guardian angel or not. From what I I know, most likely not.” She informed, “If she’s still able to be a guardian angel then we’ll reassign her to another human. If not, we find her some other position and that’s that.” she explained and Y/N nodded in understanding, squeezing Harry’s hand tight.

“Can we just have another moment? Just to say goodbye?” Y/N pleaded.

“Yes, I’ll uh, give you a minute to say goodbye.” Angela said before heading out of the room again.

“I’m sorry.” Y/N sniffled and Harry sat beside her, letting his free hand comb through her hair softly.

“Hey, s’alright. Like you said, we had an amazing time. I loved having you around and I don’t care if they wipe my memories of you, some things are just unforgettable.” He said and she smiled softly.

“Kiss me.” She whispered and he leaned forward very carefully and pressed his lips to hers softly. That familiar tingle and warmth swam through their bodies and soon he pulled back, “I love you. I always will.” She said, as a couple tears streamed down her face.

“I love you too.” He whispered and soon he was tearing up as well, feeling even more distressed when Angela came through the door once more.

“Ready?” She asked Y/N and she nodded. Harry let go of her hand and moved aside as Angela came to her side and took her hand.

“Bye Harry.” She said softly and soon there was this bright light growing in strength, causing him to shield his eyes and suddenly it was gone and so was she.

*********

They traveled at the speed of light and as soon as they got into heaven Y/N started to feel strange.

“Angela, I feel weird.” She said softly, starting to feel light headed.

“Y/N?” Angela spoke with worry. She glanced down and saw her legs start to give. She quickly sat her down against the wall to find help.

“Hold on just second.” Angela encouraged looking into Y/N’s eyes, but almost immediately Y/N passed out and Angela panicked, “Someone help!” She shouted, “Please help me get her to the infirmary!” She cried out, voice cracking. Naturally a few angels came up and helped Angela almost immediately. Now she had to find out what was going on right away so that she could tell Gabriel in their meeting the next day. Once in the infirmary she waited with Gerald for what felt like hours until finally someone came up, his name was David.

“Can we speak in my office?” He asked and she nodded, following him down the hall. Once the door closed David sat on his desk, some confusion written across his face. “How did you get her up here?” He asked brows furrowed.

“Well, the normal way, we teleported.” His brows furrowed.

“That’s interesting…”

“What’s going on, David?” Angela asked fearfully.

“Well it seems that Y/N…” he paused, “Somehow she’s still human.” He said.

“What? Is that even possible?” Angela countered.

“I’ve seen it before. I’ve treated angels that are injured so badly that they stay in their humanoid form for longer. They don’t have the strength to transform back and heal. But this, I’m not sure what’s going on… Usually the healing will trigger her to start switching back, but still got flowing blood and a heartbeat. She’s not healing like our kind normally would.”

“Has she got any powers at all?” Angela asked.

“Not while she’s human.” He said and she sighed.

“What’ve you done with her?”

“We’ve sedated her in hope that she starts to switch back with her body not struggling so much to heal- I think that may be what’s not allowing the switch? Her human form is not taking the pain well, maybe if she can rest well enough something can start to trigger he powers back.” He said and she nodded.

“Well, I do have a meeting with Gabriel tomorrow about her case. If you learn anything new overnight, please come by. It’ll be at 9.”

“Okay.”

“Alright, thank you.” Angela said before stepping out. She was quite anxious about this, she wasn’t sure what the procedure for something like this was, it had never happened before. The night seemed long and never ending as she tried to think of solutions that were not with a bad outcome.

*********

When Harry left the hospital he had a cloud of gloom hanging over him. He got home and started drinking and sketching Y/N. Things about her, anything. He knew that he’d forget her and he didn’t want to. He did these things until he passed out, he’s not sure if it was from the alcohol or all of the emotions. But the next morning he woke up feeling groggy as hell, almost as if he needed to sleep even more. Despite that, he fought the feeling and got off of the couch, groaning as he tripped on his journal.

“Fuck.” He mumbled, picking it up and opening it up when he realized it wouldn’t buckle shut because of the writing utensil inside.

He was a bit amazed as he took in the face he’d started to draw. There were a lot of details in the finished parts, but it seemed like he’d fallen asleep before he was able to finish because there were soft lines for parts of the face. He wondered where he got the image from, he would surely remember if he’d met someone that breathtaking. He went to the previous page for some insight, all that he read was:

Find Y/N.

He didn’t know a Y/N. He chuckled softly and shook his head when he took in the bottle of tequila on the ground, he must’ve been smashed. He set down the journal and decided a shower would make him feel better.

********

Angela was nervously drumming her fingertips against her folder in her lap, waiting for Gabriel to call her in. She glanced down the hall and saw David hurrying down towards her.

“Good morning.” She said as he approached.

“Good morning.”

“Any news?” She asked eagerly with an optimistic smile.

“Yeah, but it’s not good. Ummm, somehow she’s become more human overnight. I think she’ll be fully changed by the end of the day. But, being here, I think it’s making her die. Humans can’t inhabit heaven without, you know…dying.” He explained and Angela felt her stomach drop.

“Well what are we supposed to do?” Angela sighed worriedly.

“I don’t know. Can we even send her down? I mean, will she survive? I’ve never seen something like this before.” He explained, seemingly just as frazzled as she was.

“I hope Gabriel knows.” She frowned.

“Angela, Gabriel will see you now.” She stood quickly and led David into the large office. Gabriel sat behind his desk, smiling as they entered.

“Good morning everyone.” He said and they greeted him as well, “So we are here to discuss the case of Y/N. A human-born guardian angel. She needs to be reassigned.” He said and Angela sighed. “I will inform you that I wiped the boy’s memories of her last night, also some of his friends. She made quite an impression.” He smiled, “How is she recovering?”

“Well, as you know, she was injured in her human form. I brought her back up but she is turning human?” She said and his eyes widened. “I brought David along, the doctor who is looking after her in the infirmary.”

“What do you know?” Gabriel asked with concern.

“Well when she came in we administered the healing potions and ointment, as is procedure. We had just laid some down and saw the wound was not healing as expected. Usually an angel takes seconds to heal, even with an injury like that. I have seen that angels who are so weak that changing back to their celestial form can be delayed, but I’ve never seen it take this long. We doubled the dosages and her wound is fully healed now but it took nearly the whole night. Another thing we noticed as we checked the overnight monitor her heart beat is growing steadier, more blood is flowing. It seems she’s becoming more human somehow? But if this is the case, then she will die here. A human cannot inhabit heaven unless they’ve gone through the proper channels. She’s maybe got ’til the end of the day.” He said and Gabriel nodded.

“I am lost. I think I’ll have to take this up with the boss.” He said to them, “We need to do what’s best for her.” He said and the two nodded. “I will be back in a few minutes.” He said and disappeared in seconds. It was a waiting game now.

Time seemed to drag on forever while they waited for Gabriel to return. So many questions were running through Angela’s head. She partially felt at fault and all she wanted was for Y/N to be okay. So she silently prayed and pleaded for everything to workout just fine. Finally, Gabriel reappeared with a flash of light.

“Thank you for waiting.” He said and they both nodded. “So it appears that the bond between Y/N and Harry has prevented her from returning to a celestial form. Apparently, Harry was supposed to be born when she was. But it was then determined that his life would make a greater impact on the world in this age and his creation was delayed.” Gabriel informed, “Apparently they’re true soulmates and everything that’s happening is exactly as it should be. David is right, she only has a few hours if she stays here.”

“So what can we do?” Angela asked.

“Well, we need to send her back down, but we need to completely wipe her memory. She cannot remember anything about heaven or being an angel.” Gabriel explained.

“But Harry.” Angela frowned.

“They’re soulmates, they’re supposed to find each other. They’re meant to exist at the same time.” He smiled with assurance, “So Angela, we need to create an entire life for her to get to when she wakes up down there.” He informed and she nodded, “So get that together as soon as possible, then I will wipe her memories, we replace them with everything she needs to know, and we will send her down.” He said and they all nodded.

Angela got to work faster than she ever had. Y/N had loved Malibu, so she decided to make her a pastry chef who had just opened her cafe/bakery along the coast. She got her a cozy little house near the beach, and she knew that she’d make friends soon. All she needed to do now was go down and get Y/N everything. She got her, her home, bought her cafe, furnished that, and staffed it. It took nearly a month of time on earth, but just two hours of the time in heaven.

Angela was thorough and was soon back in heaven, waiting on Gabriel at the infirmary. She had also invited Gerald to say goodbye and as soon as Gabriel arrived, he hurried off, a little glum, but knowing that sending her down would not only save her life, but bring her the most happiness. They entered the room and Angela smiled sadly, running her fingers through Y/N’s hair softly.

“I know she meant a lot to you Angela.” David said and she smiled.

“Yes, this is tough, but don’t worry, I ran your plan by the boss and he said everything works out perfectly. You did an excellent job.” Gabriel encouraged making Angela smile even wider. Knowing Y/N would be alright was a huge relief. “Alright, let’s get started.” He said rubbing his hands together. The little sparks began to form and he reached forward, placing them on either side of her head, looking to Angela, who nodded once and so he began wiping her memories clean. 130 years worth took a few minutes, then he replaced them with all the things she would need to know to make a successful life on earth. Once he finished they took Y/N down to earth.

“Heartbeat is steady, she seems to be adapting well.” David confirmed with a smile.

“Perfect. When she wakes up it’ll be like she’s just waking up another day. It’ll all be alright.” Gabriel assured both Angela and David, “Now, let’s get going.” He said.

“I’ll catch up with you.” Angela said and Gabriel offered a small smile before he and David disappeared.

“Y/N, you literally defied all the odds.” She whispered, “You were one of the best angels I’ve ever known, I will look after you and Harry, and I can’t wait until you two meet again.” She grinned gleefully and just like that, she was gone.

******** 2 Years Later *********

Harry was at Cafe Habana, relaxing in the patio seating with a few friends and another group a few tables away with balloons and gift bags. He was nursing his tequila on the rocks with a little lime juice. Despite how lovely it was outside, most of the patrons were seated inside. They were pretty much caught up in their own thing, waiting on their appetizers, when suddenly the other group started cheering, which made them all turn towards the patio entrance to see a girl walking over giggling bashfully.

Out of nowhere Harry was hit with this feeling deep in his chest as he watched her walk past his table, smiling bright and hair flowing a bit with the light breeze. He watched as she hugged her friends, thanking them profusely for their effort. He assumed she was the birthday girl. His eyes kept going back to her throughout the evening. He watched as she opened up gifts and suddenly she glanced up from a card she had been reading and her eyes met his. She sort of held the contact for a few seconds before her attention was drawn by someone else.

“Could you be any more obvious.” Someone teased him and he shook his head.

“S’not like that. She just looks really familiar. I think I might know her from somewhere…” he trailed off, trying to dig through his memories but coming up blank. He’s Harry Styles, he’s met tons of people! It wasn’t a big deal if he didn’t remember every single person he’s met, but this was one of those heart stirring feelings and it bothered him that he couldn’t place where he knew her from.

“Maybe at a show or something? You don’t forget someone as beautiful as her.” His friend said again and he kind of clung to that.

#Guardian angel #harry styles #wip #0nlythrowharrybeaux #writing

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alygatorwrites · 3 years

Note

can I request a lil something? during the end of the manga or after the timeskip if you haven't read it yet, reiner still has feelings for historia and reader has one-sided feelings for him.

pieck gives reiner a small hint, saying he's wasting time while there's someone close to him that cares for him and points to you. he doesn't understand at first and maybe is conflicted about his feelings for you because of historia. reader is cool about it as she doesn't expect him to reciprocate her feelings.

a rollercoaster of emotions later, maybe there is a happy ending tho? i am curious to see what you can come up with 😭😭 i have dreaming of this scenario before bed and i can't help but get jealous of his crush on historia abjdsndks maybe you can help reiner reciprocate reader-chan's feelings or not

thank u so much aly 💖🥺

reciprocation

pairing: reiner braun x reader

a/n: OMG yesss! honestly, i was kinda annoyed at how reiner still had a crush on historia. i know that isayama wanted to show how everything went back to normal, but i was hoping that reiner would have a bigger role in the allied nations instead of being "dumbed down" to having an obsession with her. MAYBE THATS JUST THE JEALOUSY SPEAKING LMAO 😭 i was hoping this would be longer, although school has been killing me so im really sorry!! i hope its okay 💗💕 thank you honey!

↳ to be added to my taglist, please fill out this ♡form♡

as reiner is handed historia’s letter, you fold your hands on the table and watch him without a word. when he reads the lines and smells the parchment - jean saying something snarky afterward - you say nothing.

you want reiner to be happy: you want to see him at ease like this more, face soft as the leaf of the page flits from his pinched fingers.

and so you let the man speak about historia like she’s a damn goddess, gushing over her handwriting, and keep your goddamn mouth shut. ignore your jealousy. your feelings.

the truth is, you’re in love with reiner.

you can’t even remember how it happened, but you can remember the first time you looked into those hazel eyes, and how you knew that they were going to stick with you for eternity.

you’ve come to accept his crush on the queen, though. reciprocation was never an option in your mind.

when jean begins to chew reiner out for lusting after a married woman, and reiner says something about jean being a horse, pieck’s gaze lands on you. “you’re rather quiet,” she says softly, resting her head on her palm.

you shrug, turning away from her. “i’m just tired.”

pieck catches your chin between her lithe fingers, and turns you to face her with a tiny smile. the young woman is very perceptive, and you’ve known her long enough.

that’s when you notice the twinkle in her eye. she’s planning something.

pieck releases your jaw then, sitting up in her chair. “you’re wasting your time, reiner,” she says suddenly. “there’s already someone you know who cares for you.”

you pretend to not hear pieck - and definitely pretend you don’t see her faintly point at you through your peripheral. the movement of her fingers is barely there, but you catch it.

damn you, pieck.

the way you’re now pinned underneath armin, jean, connie, and reiner’s stares makes your stomach tie itself into knots with bubbling reluctance. shit, this is awkward. you want to run away.

still, you peer over to study reiner’s reaction. he looks confused at first, the contours of his face unreadable. you swear you see connie facepalm at the man’s cluelessness.

then reiner’s expression slowly changes: his eyes widen in awe, lips parting slightly, and brows knitting together. he seems genuinely surprised - and conflicted.

conflicted? why?

there’s no time to explain yourself though, because the door creaks open and annie steps in. her words fall on your deaf ears, and when everyone stands up to leave, you’re the first one out of the room. work beckons you as always.

two days pass.

you’ve been busy filling out tons of paperwork pertaining to the allied nations, so when you’re finally given a day off, you take it with open arms.

freedom at last.

you lean against a bench outside of headquarters, enjoying the salty breeze that flutters along your skin. it’s dusk, the sky covered in a gradient of neon colors as the sun dips below the horizon.

you haven’t seen reiner since that day in the conference room. you wonder how he’s doing, what he’s thinking, how he’s holding up -

“hey.”

speak of the devil. you glance over your shoulder toward the voice, low and familiar.

reiner approaches you, clad in his uniform: the suit hugs his large frame perfectly, showing every flex of his muscles, and his blonde hair is neatly parted. the black tie looped around his neck just pulls it all together. it has you weak at the knees every. single. time.

“hey,” you answer, giving reiner a smile as he stops beside you.

and that’s when your heart lurches at the sight of him.

the sunset highlights reiner’s profile in gold, a heavenly shine that settles upon his blonde lashes and the flawless slope of his nose. the flecks in his irises sparkle – a beautiful mixture of soft browns and muted greens. the only thing you can do right now is admire the man.

his words are what breaks you out of your daydream.

“work has been crazy lately, huh?” reiner says, focused on the candy-floss clouds and their fluffy shapes.

“well - yeah, pretty much. i don’t want to look at a pen or a piece of paper ever again.”

“that bad?”

“you have no idea. i almost regret marley and paradis reconciling.”

reiner chuckles gently at the joke, but it’s strained. his forehead remains creased, and he’s not really smiling. the emotion there is more … doubtful. it’s like he’s having some sort of inner conflict.

hopefully reiner’s not acting cautious because of the other day. you know he doesn’t return your feelings, and that’s totally okay. you’re happy enough being with him like this. “i’m not mad or anything, y’know.”

reiner stiffens at that. there’s a white flash of teeth when he chews on his lower lip. “i know.”

“good,” you hum, breathing out a sigh of relief. your core twists with envy when you force a grin. bite it back. tease him like always. “so about historia … ”

reiner’s eyes go wide almost comically, and you hear the breath in his lungs leave his firm chest in one exhale. there’s a light blush staining his cheeks now. it’s funny; he’s so goddamn big, yet he’s such a teddy bear.

“y-yeah,” reiner mutters. you observe the way his brows pinch together as he awkwardly shifts in place. it takes a while before the man composes himself again, which is strange.

is he scared or something? what the hell?

“pieck,” reiner hesitates for a moment. the golden strands of his hair ruffle in the wind and he appears ... well, lost. “was she being serious?”

the question is a shocker - jeez, he could have at least let you prepare yourself. a firm ‘no’ almost slips out, but you’ve never been much of a liar. not to reiner, anyway. crossing your arms against your chest, you inhale sharply and nod. avoid staring at him face-to-face. “yep.”

“ … why me?”

reiner says the words with a mixture of spite and anguish, a casual and rumbling voice. you immediately turn your head, frowning. “what?”

“i’ve done so many horrible things.” reiner exhales heavily and stares down at his hands; perhaps he’s imagining all the blood they’ve been stained with. “i betrayed everyone. i killed innocent people - all because i was selfish.”

it’s no surprise that reiner is broken after everything he’s been through, but it pains you to know that he continues to suffer in silence. whatever war is raging inside his ribcage tears him apart piece by piece, and you wish you could carry the burden.

there’s probably nothing you can say to convince reiner that he was just a kid, a victim of circumstance. there’s nothing that can persuade him to see himself the way you do.

so you decide to tell reiner why you love him.

you explain the amount of admiration you hold for him. tell him that you love the way he just wants to be someone his comrades can lean on, like a big brother. tell him that you think he’s the most gorgeous person you’ve ever seen and how you think he deserves the world.

the way you spill your guts out snaps every nerve in your body. you don’t say everything you want to – but you tell him enough. a dark flush spreading across your face, you find the courage to look at him.

the world seems to stop on its axis when you find reiner staring right on back. the intensity of his eyes is stunning; they’re lit up with astonishment and affection.

god, the affection. you see it clear as day. maybe one of the greatest regrets in his life is how he forced himself to see you only as a friend.

that’s when he reaches out to you.

reiner retracts his hand twice, unsure, before slowly brushing his fingertips against yours. the touch is so feather-light that you almost can’t feel it. it’s a test - he’s waiting to see if you pull away. you can’t even move if you wanted to, because his fond gaze keeps you rooted to the spot before him.

when you don’t recoil, reiner finally moves to gently hold your hand; his palm is so much bigger than yours, and your fingers slot together perfectly, like a jigsaw puzzle’s final piece.

heart thrumming like a hummingbird has been stuffed into your chest, you’re almost at a loss for words and come to a realization.

this utterly amazing man likes you. always has.

but reiner shoved away the feelings for one simple reason; you deserved ‘better.’ focusing on the old crush he had on historia was a distraction - an attempt to convince himself to stop thinking about you.

because looking at you everyday and not being able to act upon his feelings was too painful.

“is this okay?” reiner asks lowly. there’s a slight pinkness to his cheeks, the color of a selfless love.

by some miracle, you manage to nod dumbly. “yeah, of course. it’s fine.” it’s amazing is what you actually want to say.

reiner squeezes your hand at the reassurance, a sigh escaping from his throat. “i really—”

you wait for him to finish, but he doesn’t. reiner just searches your profile for signs of discomfort, and then untwines your hands to bravely swipe a thumb along the length of your cheekbone.

there’s no time to speak because he’s already leaning down.

the sensation of reiner’s lips pressing against yours lights your skin ablaze; you can feel the curling flames of passion sear your soul, made even more intense by the warmth of the sunlight on your back.

it’s natural, it’s tender, it’s warm.

reiner’s breath rattles into your mouth when you rest both palms against his solid chest and deepen the kiss. the musky smell of his aftershave and cologne envelops you completely, and fuck, it’s so good. your arms wrap around him, fingers passing over the sharp slopes of his shoulder blades.

as much as you wish the kiss could go on endlessly, there are people gathering outside. avoiding any unwanted attention from nosy strangers is very much appreciated.

you pull away to nuzzle your nose into reiner, and he rests his chin on your shoulder, protective arms moving to loop around your waist. it’s such an intimate caress that it sparks your brain into overdrive.

as the rushing sound of the breeze comes back to your ears through the quiet, you tuck the kiss away to be remembered forever. that’s all there is to it. being close to reiner like this - swaying together like wildflowers in the wind - is more important than anything else.

“i like you,” reiner murmurs.

the suddenness of it makes you laugh, and you can feel the upward quirk of reiner’s lips - a whisper of a peaceful smile and a sweet, sweet promise.

#timeskip reiner still sexy asf #I just wanna hug and kiss him ugh #reiner braun x reader #reiner x reader #aot x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #snk x reader #reiner braun #reiner x you #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin

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honeybunnybeez · 3 years

Text

Did you even...? (ANGST)

♡ Prisoner!c!Dream x GN!Reader, (Mention of past poly!dream team x reader)

♡ Summary: You pay an old friend a visit. You just need to get something off your chest.

This place seemed to be even creepier on the inside than on the outside and stepping foot into the prison gave you immediate chills. You look over to Sam, who strides through the hall with no issue at all. Well, that does make sense, he did build the place after all. He knew the prison like the back of his hand.

He gives you a quick glance before breaking the silence and asking,

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"If I don't do it now, I'll never do it. Might as well take advantage of the situation while it's safe, right?"

He doesn't say anything in response, and while it does leave a slightly awkward tension in the air, you think it's for the best.

After going through the countless safety measures, you finally make it to the bridge.

"Stand back, let the lava wall fall first."

You nod, feeling your chest starting to tighten up from how nervous you're feeling. As the wall falls, you can see a cell in the distance, and in that cell, a very familiar figure.

You start to feel hesitant when you see him and soon you start to rethink your decision as well.

"I-"

"Last chance, (Y/n). Do you want to do this?" Sam asks, his voice now firmer than before. "I won't be able to follow you, but just know that he won't be able to harm you in there."

You take a deep breath and remind yourself once again, now or never. Do it while he can't properly hurt you, while he can't manipulate you, while you still want to give him a piece of your mind. If you don't let it out now you'll regret never taking this chance.

"Y-yeah, I want this. I have to do this."

Sam doesn't say anything else and turns his attention to the many switches on the wall. "Stand on the bridge and hold onto the railings tight. The moment the bridge connects to the cell hop off quick."

You nod and step onto the bridge.

Upon seeing that it truly is you, Dream is quick to walk towards you but the netherite wall stops him from getting too close too soon. You were here, actually here, visiting him. He hasn't see you in ages, not since he left you three and you still look so-

"Dream?"

...you still look so lovely.

Despite his blank look, he seems dead tired and for the first time in a long while, you actually feel sympathetic towards him, but that doesn't mean you were going to go easy on him. No, it's going to take a while before you find yourself comforting him. Though, despite what you tell yourself you still have to hold back from holding him like you used to do.

As the lava falls back down, along with the netherite wall, you let yourself step over that line, approaching closer towards him and he does the same too.

"(Y/n)."

You let out a sigh, a hand covering your face as you try to get your emotions in check. So many things to say but the dull ache you feel is a reminder that you have so little time, but you do know what to start off with. With a deep breath you finally say what you've been dying to tell him,

"You absolute fucking asshole."

You can't help the venom that seep into your voice as you utter those words and Dream can feel his heart break a little as you use that tone with him. This wasn't your usual teasing insults anymore, you were furious and your voice more than shows it.

"All of this, and for what, Dream?" You ask him.

'For power, for absolute control,' a part of him thinks to himself, but he can't find the courage to say it to you. He can't make things worse than it already is.

"I'm sure Sapnap told you, he never could keep his feelings to himself," the way he so casually says it makes you want to slap his mask right off. If only he was there to hear Sapnap claim that Dream never cared about them, how devastating it was to hear those words.

"You're a selfish prick,"

He is, isn't he?

"Such a greedy motherfucker,"

He's come to terms with that a long time ago.

"...An absolute heartbreaking bitch."

...He didn't expect to fall this hard, (Y/n), he didn't know he'd fall in love too.

Tears start to fall as everything grows to be too much from all the sorror and frustration you're letting out with each word you say. You try your best to wipe them away but it's no use. It just hurts. You wish George and Sapnap were here to comfort you, to hug you, but they weren't and you aren't going to simply hug the monster in front of you no matter how much you want to. As much as it hurts you can't find it in you to stop talking just yet though.

"Was what we all had just a joke to you?" You manage to sob out.

He stiffens a bit as his thoughts race. Inside he's begging you to stop, to please don't ask him that question.

"Was it fun? Y'know- stringing me, Sapnap and George along, saying such loving words. Sharing all those gentle kisses and late night giggles. Were those moments just fake to you?"

(Y/n) please.

"Dream,"

What can he say, what do you want him to say? Please, (Y/n) he doesn't know what to say-

"Did you even fucking love us?"

'Yes,' something inside of him screams, the part inside of him that he tried desperately to ignore ever since he left you three. He wants to shout out his answer, wants to hold you close and never let go, but he can't, because he knows damn well he doesn't deserve it and it kills him everytime he thinks about it. He doesn't deserve you and them.

His silence and blank stare breaks your heart, but at the same time, it also... relieves you, to know that you don't have to cling to any false hope. To know that you can just let go knowing nothing between you four were ever real to him.

You let out a hiccup and a shuddering sigh. Unclenching the fists you never knew you were clenching to begin with. You have so much to say, but you think you've finally reached your limit, so you focus on calming yourself, starting to feel foolish for losing it in front of him.

Silence between you two filled the room, with you looking down at the floor refusing to even glance at him and Dream not moving from where he stands, his thoughts fighting with one another as he thinks about what he should do or say.

Before Dream can open his mouth he sees you starting to sway a little bit. You feel yourself starting to grow weaker as your sobbing slowly stops and the dull ache from before is becoming unbearable, and that's when you realize the potion was still in effect. Your time was running out, you have to leave soon.

You accept whats coming, you said your piece, and even though you still feel like shit, a slight weight has been lifted off your chest . You got to meet him, and finally got to say what you wanted, face to face. You feel satisfied, at least for now.

"(Y/n)," his voice starts to sound like a distant echo as your head starts to throb.

"Don't... please don't say anything...," you feel the room start to spin and you're slowly losing your balance.

"(Y/n), please listen-"

"...I can't Dream. I can't-," and with that, you feel your heart stop and see the world around you turn black for just a moment before you wake up on the bed Sam had told you to set your spawn at. Your head is in a daze as you look around to check your surroundings. At that moment, it all felt so surreal, but you knew better than to think it was fake.

"...Fuck," you literally can't find anything else to say, feeling speechless and a little emotional.

"Feel better?" Sam asks as he walks over to check you over.

"Yeah, I think so..." a ping can be heard as your communicator goes off and it's from Sapnap.

You told him you'd be visiting the prison a few hours before but you weren't expecting him to come and pick you up, he even brought Quackity and Karl with him too. It's a pleasant surprise after that whole situation at least.

"Best not to keep them waiting, (Y/n)."

You let out a final hiccup before laughing softly, wiping away the remaining tears from your face.

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Sam."

(Bonus!)

Before your souless body can hit the floor, Dream is quick to catch it and hold it as it starts to slowly fade. He starts to feel some of the tears he's been holding back fall and he doesn't bother to stop them. Instead, he just hugs your body closer to him. It doesn't feel the same with how cold and light it feels, but it's better than nothing.

As your body slowly starts to dissapear, he can't help but whisper out a string of apologies to it, pretending like you three can hear his voice.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

But no matter how hard he pleads, no voices answer back, only the soft flowing of lava and his screaming throughts return to be his only company.

Notes: Hello! Thank you so much for reading this if you did! I haven't written fanfic in ages so I may be hella hecking rusty. I'm also really sorry if this is beyond ooc and dramatic! I'll try to get better as time goes on!

(Requests are open and anon is on!)

#mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #dream smp x reader #dream smp imagine #dream x reader

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lovelyminnieee · 3 years

Text

Without you- J.J.H

Pairing: Jaehyun x reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Car accident mentions, mentions of death, father!Jaehyun, Coma, mentions of losing a loved one

Summary: Jaehyun doesn't want to deal with life anymore. Without you there to hug him, or tell him it was okay to cry, he didn't want to even come home, unless it was for his daughter. He missed you, so much he could go crazy. Maybe you will never come back, he hasn't lost hope yet. Will you be able to comeback to him and your daughter's lives again?

A/n: this is my first fic on my account, feedbacks would be deeply appreciated. Uh, I am a little nervous to post it, but please do give me feedbacks. And the paragraphs written in italics are memories

❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎

It's been 3 years. Three years without you. There wasn't one day where he didn't think of you. Your daughter and the way she reminds him of you. He's tired of it, tired of life. Without you there to comfort him, tell him it's okay to cry, he's tired.

"Eun ha, we have to get to school!" Jaehyun shouts from one end of the apartment, packing her lunch. "Coming daddy!" His daughter waddles over to him, struggling to put her shoes on. "Let me do it," Jaehyun said as he picked her up and put her on the table. He smiles as he puts her shoes on quickly, placing her down after. "Let's go, okay baby?" Jaehyun holds her little hand, her bag in his other hand.

Jaehyun opened the door to the apartment and sighed. An empty home was not really welcoming. You weren't there to hug him, tell him that you love him. His habits haven't changed, he sat down on the couch and pulled out his phone.

"I miss you so fucking much..."

He texted your number. He missed you so much, he was going crazy. He closed his eyes, trying to hold tears bay. He sent you a picture of Eun ha in her dress up outfit. Like a princess.

"Look at Eun ha, she looks so pretty. Just like you baby"

His fingers type, the memories flooding in. He took you for granted while you were there, and that is the thing he regrets the most in life.

"I understand, but you can't just ignore me like that, Jae," you said, angry. He was ignoring you for the past few days, and you had no idea why. He said it was because of work, but he wasn't there at work during work hours. "No Jae, you're not working, you're somewhere else during work hours," you said, your eyes staring at him. Jaehyun paused for a minute, speechless. He was preparing something special for you, and that was the reason. "I- I was-" Jaehyun sighed. You were getting on his nerves. "Y/n, just leave me alone. You don't understand," he said and walked away, frustrated at your behaviour. You didn't know why you got angry so quickly, you were usually so calm and collected during arguments. "So now you want me to leave you alone?" You scoffed. Jaehyun turned around and stared at you. "Isn't that what I just said?" He stares back at you. "So it's completely okay for you to go out during work hours? And ignore me when you come home? What the fuck, Jae?" You raised your voice a little. "Can you not right now? I'm frustrated, Y/n." Jaehyun tried to keep his cool. "Jae, I've been dealing with so many things, do you think you're the only one who deals with stress?" You ask him, tears swelling in your eyes. Jaehyun closed his eyes, trying to stay collected. Maybe you had a reason to be mad this quick. "You might as well be cheating on me, or lying to me. And what not-"

"WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS Y/N?-"

"BECAUSE I WANTED TO TELL YOU I WAS PREGNANT, JAE!"

Jaehyun went silent. His heart pounded in his chest at the news. Well, that certainly wasn't a good way to release the news. She was pregnant? He thought.

"You're what?"

"You know what, nevermind," you walked away, wiping your tears. Jaehyun ran up to you and hugged you from behind. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Jaehyun whispered, kissing your neck softly. "I'm hurt, Jae." You whispered, your voice cracking. "I'm so sorry," he said, his hands softly resting over your tummy. Jaehyun's face ceased into a smile, continuing to press his lips against your neck. "I'm going to be a father," Jaehyun's eyes teared up as he twirled you around and kissed you softly. Everything felt unreal at that moment. He was going to be a dad. His heart swelled in happiness, pulling your waist closer to him.

"I'm so sorry about everything. I love you so much"

He pressed the send button, his eyes tearing up.

"Please come back to me, to Eun ha"

Tears ran down his cheeks and his world darkened again. Three years of torture. Three years without you. He doesn't know how he's going to manage. He shifted on the couch, staring mindlessly at the ceiling. "I miss you so much, Y/N." He whispered, holding his tears in. He had to visit you at the hospital soon, so he put his emotions aside for a moment and got up. He walked to his room and changed in a few minutes, grabbing his bag and walking out the door.

"Hi baby, I'm here," he whispers softly, walking closer to your bed. Your parents had been taking care of you for the past two days because he was busy, but now that he's here, he wants to tell you everything. He knows you're listening, unable to talk. "How are you, love? Is everything okay? Does it hurt?" He asks, gently caressing your hands. He misses your whiny self. Whatever he said, the room was so silent when it was supposed to be filled with your sweet voice. He sighs and closes his eyes, trying to hold in his emotions. "I miss you so much," his voice comes out as a broken whisper. "I can't do this anymore. I can't do this without you, please come back, I'm sorry," he cries, holding your hand close to him. Jaehyun remembers the day the accident happened.

"I'll meet you at home, babe. I love you," he said, cutting the call with a smile on his face. "You make me feel so single," Johnny whispers from his work desk, sighing. "Come on, John. You can bag girls if you try," Jaehyun chuckled as he put on his jacket. "Lucky, you get to go home early while I'm stuck with hyuck, great." Johnny rolls his eyes. Jaehyun just chuckles, walking out of his shared office space.

"So, how was work today?" Jaehyun asked, his eyes focused on the road. "Bad, all that man had to say was I did a bad job and screamed at me. The audacity," you scoffed on the other side of the phone. "Which man? The manager or the CEO?"

"Of course it has to be the manager. He's so annoying I swear," you sighed.

"Oh well, I'll ask him to shut the fuck up next time so he won't annoy you, okay?"

"Ew that was so cheesy, Jae," you cringed behind the phone. Before Jaehyun could even process your reply, loud crashes and screams were heard. He called for you repeatedly, only to realise that you weren't replying.

"I'm so sorry, if I hadn't distracted you, you would still be here for me." Jaehyun cries hard. He looks up at you to see tears running down the side of your face. "Sssh, don't cry," he said, wiping your tears and letting his hand rest on your face. He places a soft kiss on your forehead, his heart hurting at the sight of you. You laid in the bed, limp and pale. "Hey, you know..." He sniffled. "I met your manager on my way here today," he smiled, trying to get the mood better.

"And then, she was trying to write C, but Eun ha wrote it like it was mirrored," Jaehyun giggles softly, his hand still caressing yours. Your hands felt warm to him, and it was the best thing in the world to him. Just as he was about to let the unknown tears in his eyes fall, he felt something. He felt your hand move. His gaze snapped to your hands, which once moved. "Baby, can you do that again for me?" He says hastily, trying not to cry. And he sees a movement, yet again. "Wait for me, I'll go get the doctors, okay?" He says and hurries out of the room, holding himself together. He will come apart any second, but now was not the time.

Doctors rush in and out of the room as Jaehyun watches from the side, tears falling. He had called his mother and asked her to pick Eun ha up from school, just so that he can stay with you longer. "Mr. Jeong?" The doctor called. Jaehyun's cloudy gaze snapped to the doctor, hurrying over to the man. His first clenches in the anticipation of the news as the doctor smiles. "This is the first time I've seen something like this. Her senses are responding to the tests, after a full three years." The doctor tells him. "Is that good?" Jaehyun askes, sniffling. "Yes. Mrs. Jeong's health seems to be progressing so much more than the last three years, she has a higher chance of recovering from the coma for a week or so," Dr. Cho assures him, patting him on the shoulder before he leaves. Jaehyun stares at you for a moment before he comes closer to you. "Hey baby, you're gonna come back to me and Eun ha, aren't you?" Jaehyun asks softly, tears welling in his eyes yet again. "You will, I know it." He kissed your forehead again.

The hopeful week was crucial. Jaehyun visits you everyday of the week with Eun ha, trying his best to make you happy. He'd give his life up for you because what he and his daughter needed the most during this time was you. He had to go to work nevertheless, but you would never be left without a visitor. Mostly being his or your parents and your kid, or him and Eun ha. He was hopeful until the last day of the week rolled over, and he got a call from the doctor.

"Mr. Jeong, I need to talk to you as fast as possible."

"Is there a problem, Dr. Cho?"

He hears a sigh from the other side that sends fear through him.

"We need to talk as fast as possible. Can you make it to the hospital now?"

"Of course, give me 30 minutes, doc,"

Jaehyun cut the call, panic settling within him.

"Johnny, please take care of this document for me. I just got a call from Dr. Cho. I need to go, okay?"

"Yes sir, don't worry about it,"

Johnny said, gesturing to him to hurry on his way. Jaehyun rushed out of the building, getting into his car in no time. In fifteen minutes, he was there at the hospital. He found the same office he's been visiting for the last three years in a couple of minutes, panting as he barged in through the door.

"I was expecting you, Mr. Jeong," Dr. Cho said, sitting upright. He had a bad feeling about what he was going to hear. "I need you to sit down and take a deep breath," the doctor said, sympathy marked in his eyes. Jaehyun sat down hesitatingly, staring at the doctor.

"Would you like something to drink or...?"

"Cut the crap, Dr. Cho,"

Jaehyun snapped. The man just sighed, looking him in the eye. "Your wife, Mrs. Jeong, was pronounced brain dead over 20 minute ago. She had a stroke which caused the brain to stop working," Jaehyun's broken world came crashing down in a few seconds as soon as he heard the news.

"What?"

"Sir, you need to calm-"

"No no no, she hasn't died yet. She can't die yet. You said she was making steady progress, YOU SAID SHE MIGHT WAKE UP, WHY CHANGE YOUR WORDS NOW?!" Jaehyun asked, tears running down his cheeks.

"Jaehyun, listen. It was a stroke that prompted brain death. We can keep her on a machine which pumps oxygen onto her organs which will keep her warm, but it won't do anything,"

"Can you step out for a minute?" Jaehyun asked him, his voice soft. "Of course," the doctor said, moving on his way out.

Jaehyun takes in the news, tears pouring out of his eyes. All he asked for was you and God denied. Great, he hopes that he at least gets to see you one last time. He stepped out of the doctor's office with red eyes and nose. "Can I see her for the last time?" Jaehyun requests, to which the doctor agrees. Tears kept flowing on his way to the room, wiping then with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Go on in," the doctor says, gesturing at the door. Jaehyun holds onto the handle and hesitates before sliding the door open. He keeps his eyes locked on to the floor and when he does lift his eyes, surprise strikes him. You were up, alive and well. Jaehyun blinks before wiping his eyes and looking again. "Jae..." His name rolls off your tongue, bringing him back to earth. He didn't say anything, but he rushed to you and engulfed you in a big hug. He held you close to him, not letting go. It's not like you wanted to let go either. "Jae..." You said, letting your head rest on his shoulder, arms wrapped around him tightly. "I missed you so much," he whispered, breaking into tears again. "God, you're so warm. I missed this so much," you say softly. He missed your voice so much. Jaehyun pulls back gently and stares at your famished face, wiping your tears. "I love you so much, so much," he said, cupping your cheeks in his hands. Your tears ran down again, you missed him so much.

"So what was that?" Jaehyun questions the doctor, glaring at him. "Well uh, your wife had a special request," the doctor smiles, looking away after. "Cho Si-hyeon, I will smack you," he glares, shooting lasers through his eyes. "Hey! Yell at her, not me!" Si-hyeon, his fellow classmate who was a year older than him exclaimed, pointing at you. "No," Jaehyun said, kissing you all over your face as you giggled softly. "She needs to get physiotherapy for her legs and you can go home after," Si-hyeon says, watching them both enjoy each other's presence. "Mhm, 'kay. What else?" Jaehyun said, his gaze fixed on you. "This is disgusting. Bye, I can't stand it," Si-hyeon scrunched his face, leaving the room. "Tsk, he's just jealous that I have such a pretty wife," Jaehyun says and places a small kiss on your lips. "Oh well," you whispered, pulling him into a soft and we'll needed kiss, for both.

❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎

Taglist: @sparklysung @trying-to-love-myself

#nct smut #k-pop smut #jaehyun #nct 127 smut #nct #nct angst #nct fluff #nct jaehyun #nct fanfic #nct u smut #nct u jaehyun #nct 127 jaehyun #romance #nct senarios

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jeojahari · 3 years

Text

02 | kiss it better | myg

🠒 summary: you're one of the lucky ones, everyone else tells you. finding your soulmate the day you turn 18 isn't something that happens to a lot of people... but you and your other half are going to have to make a lot of progress to be able to tolerate each other.

or, you and yoongi can feel everything the other feels, and you're hell bent on causing each other pain.

🠒 pairing: yoongi x reader

🠒 genre: angst, fluff, e2l!au, soulmates!au, college au, crack?

🠒 warnings: profanity, implied smut

🠒 word count: 2.6K

🠒 notes: omg tysm for all the love im literally about to start happy sobbing rn TT i hope you enjoy this chapter!! <3

btw if my writing is not up to par at any time pls let me know, i'd hate to give you low effort writing TT

part 02: two band-aids

(series m. list)

"I am so fucking stupid."

"I know."

"I can't believe I just ran out of there without saying anything!"

"Ah. I can."

"How is it Yoongi, though? I don't understand! How can two people who are so obviously different and have zero chance at getting along be paired like this?!"

"Hey," Jimin places a comforting hand on your shoulder, "maybe this is the universe trying to prove that you can find love where you least expect it!"

You shoot him the nastiest glare you can conjure up in the moment. "You sound like a children's fairy tale synopsis. Please shut up."

"No, but think about it!" Jimin sits upright, pulling the nearest pillow into his lap. "You don't like him, and he probably doesn't like you. You hate coffee, and he's practically in love with it. The only reason you guys ever interact is Taehyung, who you happen to be in love with."

"I'm not in love with him!"

"Sure," Jimin rolls his eyes. "Anyways, this is literally the perfect recipe for romance. I feel like I have front-row seats to the best enemies to lovers story ever."

"Don't make me hit you."

"It's true, though," Namjoon pipes up from beside you. You're sandwiched between both of them in an attempt to extinguish the growing dread in the pit of your stomach. "You don't really know what he's like, Y/N. People aren't always what they seem at first glance."

"I had more than just a glance," you snap. "And I know him for exactly what he is. A fucking sociopath."

"I mean, he's nice enough," Jimin explains. "I've spoken to him a few times in passing. Maybe he just wasn't having a good day when you talked to him?"

You pause and think, because your friends are right. It's plausible, isn't it? Not every grumpy person you meet goes out of their way to be antisocial... but you can't shake off that feeling you've harbored ever since you first met him.

"I don't like this," you whine, hiding your face under the blanket. "I don't like him. I don't want to be his soulmate."

Namjoon chuckles. "Soulmates aren't always lovers, Y/N. If he's actually a sociopath, or you genuinely despise him after giving him a chance, you're not obligated to love him."

"True," Jimin nods. "My parents were never soulmates, but you know how well they get along. They had me, after all," he adds as an afterthought. "They couldn't have done that without loving each other."

Namjoon winces. "Okay, no. Didn't need to hear that."

You let out a frustrated groan, kicking your legs under the sheets. "I hate this," you grumble. "And I can't even do anything ab — oh!" You sit up, suddenly enlightened and an imaginary lightbulb over your head. "I can!"

"You can what?" Jimin asks, clearly confused. In response, you simply beam at him before doing an impromptu somersault over his legs and tumbling right off the bed, landing on the ground with a loud thump.

"Y/N?!"

"She's insane!"

"She's gone mental!"

"Is she having a seizure?"

"Do we need an ambulance?!"

"Is she okay?"

"Joon, I'm too broke to pay for the ambulance!"

You throw them both off of you. "I'm right here, very much alive, and very sane, thanks."

"Well, what was that, then?" Jimin demands. "If you were trying to show off your gymnastics skills, it didn't work. You look like a clumsy baby koala."

You point at Namjoon. "He's the clumsy one. And no, I wasn't trying to show you my nonexistent gymnastics skills." A huge smile spreads across your face. "I just discovered a great way to release all my frustration."

"By falling off the bed?"

"No, but yes." You lean in like you're about to tell them a secret. "You know... I bet Min Yoongi is cursing the heavens right now, isn't he? For pairing him with someone like me."

Namjoon stares at you incredulously. "Don't tell me..."

"She's going to do it anyway," Jimin tells him, before turning to you. "You're just going to hurt yourself to hurt him, Y/N? Are you for real?"

"It's perfect!"

"It's stupid, and usually I would tell you to go for it if you were planning to kick some dumbass's butt, but not if you're getting hurt in the process."

"Well, I'm doing it anyway," you say. You're 100% decided; you've just found the one part of your bond with Yoongi that delights you the most, and with that comes your singular goal: irritating him to no end. "And this isn't even that bad, Jimin. Wait until I'm on my period. Then he's really going to wish he never knew me."

Actually, you're screwed.

"Ouch!" you hiss, your body jerking at the pain that courses through your arm. You're forced to stop writing mid-word, the dark blue ink a mess on your paper due to these constant interruptions of your sudden movements. "What the fuck?!"

The girl sitting across from you raises her eyebrows at you, half concerned for your sanity.

"Sorry," you whisper apologetically. "My soulmate's a jerk. Honestly, I probably caused this, but I don't regret it at all."

She laughs, eyes turning into small crescents. "Hate at first sight?"

"More like at first conversation." You sigh, letting the pen fall from your fingers. "I don't know how I'm supposed to get along with him, let alone love him. We have absolutely nothing in common, and I'm pretty sure this dislike is mutual. Which reminds me—"

You bang your knee against the table in retribution for Yoongi's attack on his own arm, a satisfied smile on your face.

"Wow." The girl stares at you, rather taken aback. "That's some serious beef you two have got."

"Yep. Can't stand him," you confirm. "What about you? Have you found yours yet?"

"Not yet," she says, trying to look indifferent — but you catch that wistful look in her eyes. "Someday soon, hopefully."

"You'll find them," you say, the exact words you've repeated to Jimin multiple times over the years. "Time is all it takes. I hope yours is less of a jerk than mine... and if they are, I'm more than happy to instruct you in the ways of torturing them."

"Noted," she smiles, before returning to her book.

You, though, can't focus. Actually, you haven't been able to concentrate on anything lately — ever since this trivial back and forth between you and Yoongi turned into something more desperate and warlike, it's all that's ever on your mind.

Sighing, you stand up, leaving your place at the table to go fetch a book from one of the many shelves lining the opposite wall of the library. It doesn't take you long to find what you're looking for, but you immediately stumble over and hit the ground, nearly knocking your head against the wood of the shelf.

"Fuck," you hear someone curse in the next aisle. You know that voice, you realize after a few seconds, immediately ducking your head around the corner in amused curiosity.

"What'd you do to yourself this time?"

Yoongi scowls at you from the ground, as irked as always. "None of your business."

"It kind of is, actually, now that I feel it too."

"Oh, really? Where was that concern when you were hurting yourself just to get back at me for doing absolutely nothing?"

"You did it back! You have no right to be telling me what I did was wrong if you decided to do it too!"

"Why the hell did you do it in the first place?"

"Shh!" The librarian walks past the two of you, giving you a sharp glare as she replaces a few books with the ones in her hands. You nod apologetically to her, head bowed.

"You're so loud," you whisper a few seconds later, just as Yoongi gets himself off the ground and has managed to gather the books he'd dropped.

"You literally started yelling first, Y/N."

A deep frown makes its way onto your face. "You know what? I still don't understand why you're like this. Can we not have a civil conversation for once? Every time I talk to you it turns into a goddamn argument!"

"Yeah, well, maybe if you'd just minded your own business, we wouldn't be having this argument!" Yoongi pauses for a breath. "You always make it an argument, Y/N, I don't go out of my way to pick a fight with you!"

"Isn't that what you're doing right now?"

"No! I just don't understand your problem with me! Look," he says, a little calmer, "I know you don't want to be my soulmate. And I'm not particularly in love with you either. But you can at least act like I'm human too, right? Or is that too much for your inflated pride?"

"Did you just call me arrogant?" you ask incredulously, trailing after him as he walks back to where he was sitting. "You think I'm doing this because I'm conceited?"

"N—"

"Well, for your information, I'm not. I just really dislike you."

Yoongi tongues his cheek in frustration, slamming his book down onto the table. "And for what?" he demands. "I like to know it if and when I fuck up, Y/N. Stop repeating the fact that you hate me and just tell me why."

You flinch at his harsh tone and the sensation that sends a painful twinge through your palm. "You're just... you're so hard to talk to," you accuse. "Like, really? How am I supposed to wrap my head around this whole thing when I can't have a conversation with you without feeling like shit?"

He's gaping at you now. "I'm making you feel like shit? And you're not doing the same by basically trash talking me to my face?"

"I'm not! I'm just telling the truth; and besides, you asked!"

"Who are you to go around judging the way people are? Not everyone is bubbly and cheery, you know? Being grumpy for a second doesn't mean being grumpy for a lifetime!"

"Well, I can't tell, can I? Not when you always act like you hate the rest of the human race!"

Yoongi doesn't reply to you, just staring back at you for a few moments. Instead, his jaw clenches as he turns away without any kind of rebuttal.

"Alright," he says gruffly. "I'll go first."

Your eyes widen slightly as your frustration dissipates. You'd only meant to check on him out of curiosity after his fall, you hadn't intended for it to escalate to this scale at all... "Wait—"

"Don't bother to talk to me next time," he interrupts you, a hint of bitterness to his voice. "Since I always make you feel like shit, anyways."

"No, I didn't m—"

Yoongi's gone before you can give him any miserable excuse from your side, bag slung over his shoulder and that cup of coffee in his right hand. You catch a glimpse of his fingers wrapped around the cup, two band-aids covering the knuckles of his smallest digits, and you can't help but wonder... did you do that to him? All those days you spent wrapping bandages around your legs and arms, was he doing the same?

But you hate him, right? No matter how closely bound you two are, you're allowed to do this, aren't you?

You don't know.

You recall the sight of his worn out expression and sigh, shaking your head. Whatever it is about Min Yoongi that draws the worst out of you, you'll never know. All you're sure of is that apparently you're supposed to love him, apparently you're supposed to be his and vice versa. But you just can't.

As you trudge back to your seat, you notice that the girl from earlier is still there, still taking diligent notes — except her eyes now follow you, a mixture of concern and curiosity.

"I'm fine," you state. The words come out far harsher than intended, but she doesn't seem to take offense.

"Really?" she asks instead. "S'great if you are, but if you're not then you're just lying to yourself, Y/N."

You blink at her, surprised. "Huh? How'd you know my name?"

"You guys were yelling," she explains. "I could hear him from over here."

"Aish. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." She chews on her pencil for a second, seemingly contemplating something. "Mind if I give you my two cents?"

The girl's awfully blunt and gets right to the point, and it reminds you of your friends for a moment. Something about her just makes you want to trust her, to let her in.

So you shrug your shoulders and say, "Sure."

"Second chances only come once."

"Huh?"

She nods, tucking her hair behind her ear. "You don't really know anything about him," she says. "You don't know what's happened to him before. You could be his second chance, and he probably just took a blow after that whole debacle you two had over there."

"What?"

She chuckles softly, and you find yourself rethinking your stance on the situation. She's right, she's right, your heart tells you, but your brain is saying something else entirely, and it's maddening.

"Give him a chance, Y/N. Everyone deserves one."

Hours later, you're still thinking about what a random stranger said to you at the library earlier.

Yoongi? A chance? No, thank you. You don't need to waste any more of your time on guys that aren't going to give you the time of day once they're not interested.

And yet, a small part of your conscience says otherwise. He's not just any guy, it reminds you. You're soulmates for a reason.

You're so frustrated you want to tear your hair out. "Soulmates are stupid!"

Jimin walks into your room with two cans of soda, an eyebrow raised as he tosses one to you. "Yikes, Y/N. What's gotten into you today?"

"Min Yoongi," you grumble.

Your best friend gapes at you, nearly spilling his soda all over himself. "I'm sorry, what?"

"What?"

"Already, Y/N?!"

You're confused as you take a sip of the sweet drink. "Already what, Jimin?"

He's opening and closing his mouth, eyes so wide he looks like a clown out of those children's cartoons. "You and Yoongi — you guys — I can't believe you finally got laid!"

This prompts you to spit out the liquid in your mouth, dissolving into a coughing fit as you try and regain your breath.

"There, there," Jimin says, stroking your back gently. "I won't mention it again if you don't want me to, I'm sorry. Was he a bad lay?"

"A bad what? Jimin, I don't know what you think I'm doing, but having sex with him is most certainly not on my list," you frown.

Your best friend, on the other hand, looks totally dumbfounded.

"Huh? But you answered with his name!"

You smack the side of his head gently. "That's not how idioms work, dumbass."

"Okay, sheesh, sorry," he apologizes, rubbing his temple. "But really, though. Everything okay with Yoongi?"

"Not really," you say truthfully, "but it's fine. Neither of us are expecting anything from the other."

Jimin looks skeptical as he eyes you carefully. "You sure?"

"Mhm."

He tilts his head back, draining the can of soda as he swallows. "You know, Y/N, maybe you should give the guy a chance."

There it is again, that word. The one thing everyone tells you that you need to give.

But is it worth your time? Is he worth your time? Or is he just going to walk away and leave you broken again? Maybe you're being selfish, but you'd rather spare yourself the heartbreak process than willingly go into something you know won't be good for you.

"Yeah, okay," you lie through your teeth, soda can still nearly full in your hand. "Maybe I will."

taglist: @meiadore @kimnamjoonluvbot @im-gay-no-matter-who-i-date @fangirl125reader @helenazbmrskai @min-yus @janeelizabeth1216 @chimchiekookie @chimchoom @igotnotype @beach-bitch-bitch-beach

taglist is still open! send an ask if you'd like me to add you <3

prev | next | series m. list | main m. list

#yoongi #yoongi soulmate au #yoongi enemies to lovers #yoongi college au #bts #bts fanfiction #bts college au #bts soulmate au #bts enemies to lovers #fluff #angst #crack?? idk #yoongi series #part 2 #mine #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic

160 notes · View notes

deepseavibez · 3 years

Text

Blindspot || KTH

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-> Picture Source - Pinterest

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Blindspot [Taehyung x Reader]

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Genre - Best Friend; Fear of the Future; Nighttime Memories; Mixed Feelings;

Summary - She believed in more. In better. In bigger. That life was out there waiting to be grabbed with both hands. He's made it his sole purpose to remind her that simple moments were beautiful and meant to be enjoyed... and maybe, she would realize he was one of them.

Warning - (Slight) Angst; Anxiety; Unsure feelings; Fear of the Future; Fluff; Comfort;

Word Count - 4.7k

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🎶 - I'm Fine - BTS

TAE

‘Tae.’

‘Y/n?’ He pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at the time, ‘it’s 3am babe.’

‘... I'm sorry for waking you. Sorry. Go back to sleep, it's okay.’

‘Hey, no, no, I'm awake.’ Sitting up, he switched the phone to his other hand and rubbed at his eyes, ‘What's going on.’

‘It’s not important, I swear,’ he could hear her trying to mask her shakiness over the phone. ‘You can go back to sleep.’

He wouldn’t call her out on lying. He knew better than anyone when y/n was in a bad way. Once he asked her, specifically him, what was wrong, she would crumble and he wasn’t there to catch her right now. ‘Y/n. Come on, talk to me.’

‘I can't sleep.’

‘Yeah, no shit,’ he yawned back.

‘I'm so sorry for waking you.’ He could hear the trepidation in her voice.

‘You know better than to apologize for something like that, ‘ he chastised. ‘Babe, tell me about it. Was it a bad dream? Something keeping you up?’

----------

Y/N

You could hear shuffling over the phone as you searched for an answer. It was hard to put certain emotions into words. You only knew you needed to phone Tae, regretting it too late, when he actually answered. ‘I'm not sure,’ you started awkwardly, ‘I guess. I just don't know where I'm going.’

‘Do you plan on leaving me anytime soon?’ Already pulling your leg, he got you to roll your eyes.

‘No, of course not. I just mean, like, metaphorically.’

Things were a bit...confusing right now.

It had been a long time since you last had to deal with emotions this strong. The voices, getting harder to ignore. You had enough outside negativity to deal with, like family and some friends, all having this certain expectation from you.

It was new for you to rebel, to be who you wanted to be and feel how you wanted to feel without consequences. Choosing a life you solely strived toward, negating the tiny voice in your head saying you were wasting time and you were running out of time and you were not enough.

‘I don't know what I want to do, Tae!’ You burst out, the build up too long, the burden too heavy. ‘I don't have plans. I have a great job, I do. But I don't want to be a PA for the rest of my life and I don't know where to start, where to look, how to choose what I want to do.

I don’t have it figured out, it hasn’t fallen onto my lap, and when I look, I feel like I’m going to waste even more time looking.’

‘Y/n, you know you have a lot more figured out than you give yourself credit for.’ The huskiness of his sleep-leaden voice, comforted you. ‘You have money, a routine stable job, you've worked you way through university and graduated with honors.’ Taehyung did it without effort and he knew you would hear his gruff tone above all others, in a crowd, in a panic, as a voice of reason.

‘I know, and I keep trying to remind myself of that, but it’s just become unbearable. I am running out of time.’ Struggling to remain composed you spoke into the phone as if he was right here, ‘What if I'm still here in ten years, Tae? What if I don't ever figure out my purpose? What if I'm meant to just work and then die? I haven't lived! I haven’t seen the world. I’ve made everyone proud and now I’m the black sheep. I prefer it, It's just-,’

The sound of keys jangling cut you off.

‘Tae,’ you asked tentatively, confusion evident.

‘Hmm.’

‘What are you doing?’ You asked when he provided no further explanation.

‘Are you in pj's right now?’

‘Uh,’ you looked down at your white vest and underwear, just to make sure, ‘yeah, why?’

‘Miss y/n, I didn't know you slept in the nude.’

The protests left you immediately at his teasing, slithering heat under your skin at the very notion. ‘Tae! I am not sleeping in the nude, I have underwear on.’

‘Uh huh, what color are they?’ Your cheeks flamed in embarrassment. You could imagine his smirk, that dumb cocky, arrogant smirk.

He laughed, the sound gruff, infuriating you more, and causing you to giggle back. Because you were the butt of the joke, and you liked his laugh too much. Trying to be mad at him, even when play-fighting or harmless bantering, Taehyung, not a chance.

‘Listen,’ a seriousness settling between you, ‘get dressed, just sweatpants, and a shirt.’

‘Wait, what, why,’

‘Baby, listen for once. Just get dressed and give me five minutes.’

You looked at the blank screen, stunned. Your brain stuck at the word baby, and the effect it had. Your insides were mush, anxiety mollified, despite not knowing what he was about to do next.

‘Babe’, you knew, ‘babe’, you understood, that was normal, routine, best friend. But Baby?

You mulled over it as you discarded your vest, and threw on a loose Celine shirt. Pulling on your black sweats, a pair of socks and air force ones because who knows what this boy was up to, you stopped. You sniffed, once, twice, yep, that was Taehyung’s body wash, but what - oh, you tugged the loose collar toward your nose, yep, this was Tae’s shirt.

You composed yourself, almost deadpan at the small realization. When had he even stripped in your room and why weren’t you there.

Wrapping your messy hair into a bun, you restrained your mind from wandering further.

Your phone beeped from the bed and the screen lit up, a message popping up. ‘Look out your window.’

Peeping out you saw his black Jeep in your driveway. He popped his head out of the driver’s side window and did a two finger salute.

Shaking your head with a smile, you grabbed your phone and made your way downstairs through the house and out the front door.

‘What are you doing here,’ you asked as soon as he came into view. He looked good, white tee, black sweatpants, you matched, except for his leather jacket and red bandana.

He opened the passenger door on your side and leaned back, giving you a once over. His lips twitched as he rested his eyes on the shirt you wore. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he wanted you in his shirt. You raised your eyebrow playfully, refusing to give life to something like butterflies and heart-eyes when your best friend stood in front of you. Life was complicated enough.

‘You needed me to show up.’ He said it a matter-of-factly, but you knew he wanted to be there for you and you couldn’t, not feel grateful, and a little warm, that he would get into his car drive to you, all because you needed him to.

Not waiting for you to reply, he threw a jersey at you. ‘Its cold,’ his tone left no room for protest and he cocked his head toward the jeep, a sign to get in.

You wrapped it around you silently, not moving, not yet.

‘Well,’ his thumb curled around the top of the steering wheel as the rest of his fingers straightened out, his freehand rising to follow his question, ’Come on, get in.’

‘Where are we going?’ You would have gotten in, you would probably end up wherever he was going to take you anyway, but where was the fun in doing everything obediently. Even puppies had wild streaks.

He raised his eyebrow this time, a smirk teasing his cheek, 'You're brave every night, y/n. But not tonight, not while you're with me, come, trust me, wherever we go I'll keep you safe.'

You turned to close and lock the front door, breathing out slowly, as slow and low as you could, doing your best to work on the constriction around your heart; his words too wiry, too strong, too genuine to forget, too deep to ignore. It made you so... agreeable.

Getting into the Jeep, you felt different as you sat here now, in a seat you had been in too many times to count. It was probably the time and the circumstances. Yeah, some shifts were just because of the time, and the air and because it was silent and the dead of night.

You said nothing more, even though a few minutes earlier you spoke into the phone like you would explode if you couldn’t get the words out fast enough, you would be alone in your head, if you weren’t able to make him understand.

You jumped slightly, as you felt his hand close over yours, and pull it toward him to brush his lips along your knuckles. It was an absent action, maybe, because he stared straight ahead, didn’t spare a glance at you as you stared at the side of his head, making it look like he wasn’t even aware he was doing what he was doing.

Swallowing against the pounding of your heart, you chalked this up too. Night time was vulnerable, everyone was just a little more sensitive, you didn’t have to make it more than it needed to be.

Looking out the window you noted the lights and dark windows, empty parks and streets, doing your best to ignore the heat against your hand, the breath against your knuckles, lips not very far away, that were capable of a lot more.

With some effort, you faded out the intensity of his actions, and as your eyes adjusted you saw familiar figures, and buildings you had driven past numerous times. You knew where you were going.

He pulled up in the parking lot of his safe haven. In retrospect, your safe place should be entirely different, but you were safe with Tae, that said, his peace was where you found yours.

Jumping out of the Jeep, you noted how dark and looming the two story building looked. A huge sign reading 'Blindspot' the only posh part about this place, black metal roller doors, spray painted names across the walls, some of the neon colors standing luminescent against the moonless night.

One would think it was graffiti, but the community knew better, the ones that came and went, some that stopped and never left, knew having your name on the wall was a privilege.

He jumped out too, after grabbing something from the back. Carrying it toward you, you noted his knapsack, and a box of some sort.

Handing it over to you to hold, you took hold of them silently, as he pulled out the keys to open the locks and deadbolt.

You watched him, his actions purposeful but he was at home, knowing which way the locks turned, the catch on the bolt needing to be kicked out a certain way before opening fully; he'd done this a thousand times before.

Lifting up the shutters, the noise too loud for the silent night, he opened the door and guided you in, making you all too aware of his palm in the small of your back. Taking the stuff from your hand and throwing it onto the edge of the ring and he lifted up to close the shutters behind you.

You took notice of the extra shirt that falls out of the pile on the ring, one of your favorites of his actually, grey with black spots, sort of like a giant cookies and cream oreo mix.

The empty gym in front of you was a contrast to the busy days it had. There was a weight section, the bags lined up against the far wall hanging still, having no impact thrown at it to sway the dead weight, and the machines had their own floor upstairs, treadmills overlooking the balustrades to the floor below, by the ring where you stood.

The pool area, directly below you, in the basements where the changing rooms and showers could be found.

It looked small on the outside, but inside there were stories to be told, motivation, encouragement, brotherhood, friendships solidified in stone and a fair share of violent memories with broken bones, broken bonds and broken hearts.

Walls were packed with quotes, anatomy teachings and pictures, schedules, a dedicated to growing trophy case with medals and newspaper clippings, and pictures of staff, members, and the boss, with his best friend.

What Tae didn't continue, was the stereotype of the grunge masculine look that came with gyms. Outside may be black as night, but inside there was color everywhere - a world within.

The punching bags were each a different shade, green, red, yellow and blue. The ring bottom was black, neon orange ropes running along the sides in three consecutive lines, and your personal favorite, a giant pride flag hung on a hook outside his office door.

Toxic masculinity wasn't allowed in Taehyung's gym. You could be yourself, make your own lifestyle choices and still be a good fighter or just work-out. He took it upon himself to punch the teeth out of anyone that thought otherwise. This was what he'd always wanted to do and he made it more than just a place to get healthy.

There were four hours, two for the morning, two for the afternoon, catered only to women. Tae understood that men will be men, no matter how much you tried to change it. And comfort mattered.

Working out and exercising, as much as it seemed, like a chore, it could be enjoyable. It could be a social setting, helping people to open up, and cope, providing the best way for them to be themselves.

You helped him find a premises, helped him choose color schemes, and sat in on interviews. For legal purposes you were an advisor and owned a small share percentage. You didn't want it, but Tae insisted, you were especially grateful when the gym grew into more than you both had expected it to become.

'Y/n,' he waved his hand in front of your face, the action snapping you out of your thoughts.

'Huh, sorry, did you say something?'

He smiled comfortingly, 'Take the jacket off and your shoes.'

Scrunching your eyebrows, you finally asked, 'Tae, what are we doing here?'

'We are,' he started explaining as he ripped open a box in his hand, 'doing something I feel you need.'

Looking at you pointedly, he motioned his eyes to the jacket.

Shucking it off, you took off your shoes and redid your bun for good measure.

'It's strange isn't it,' you voiced out loud. He perked up at your food for thought, fingers fiddling with white tape. 'It's strange, that I know every corner of this place, but I haven't ever put a pair of gloves on.'

He raised his hand absently, a student raising his hand to give an answer, his gaze focused on yours as he did. 'That's because you've never had the need to, I'm here to protect you.'

Turning away, you caught yourself, before you let your heart show in your eyes. You've known Tae for so long, been his best friend for years, why now, why this feeling, this tightness in your chest.

You played it off, and walked over to him, socked feet padding against the wooden floor boards.

Taehyung clicking his tongue startled you out of your effort to feel normal; you found him staring at your socks.

'Y/n, I've told the guys this numerous times, you can't spar in the boxing section with socks. It's a slipping hazard.' No trace of the out of the blue romantic words, he bent down easily removing them from your feet one after the other.

It would be weird, if you weren't already so used to his skinship, his cuddling when he slept over, his hand straying over your shoulder on the couch, or brushing against your waist when he passed you. Yet, his thumb, on your ankle, his hand as he circled and held it, even for just the moment that he laid your foot down after taking off the sock, you felt… taken.

You wanted to snort, the wording completely off, I mean, he had a right over you, always had but-

He came into focus, looking up at you from where he sat, and asked lightly,' Do you wash these.'

Your mouth dropped open, as you watched him hold your purple socks in between two fingers, like it would bite him, or the smell would.

Your knee nudged at the side of his face playfully as you reached to pull him up. He took your socks, holding them properly now and put them in his bag, picking up the white tape he was fidgeting with earlier.

'So, will I be sparring with you today?' You were excited now. You had watched people vent and let themselves be free as they learned technique, let themselves be violent without consequences, the satisfaction on their faces after their sessions.

When he finally reaches you again he finds the catch and opens it out. White athletic tape, used to make arms and wrists stiffer, and to provide better grip, even with sweat and slick.

'No, not today. Let's focus on getting you worked up and tired. If you enjoy it, I'll gladly let you go toe to toe with me.' His eyes held a challenge, an underlying meaning evident.

Offering your hands up freely, he taped your wrists and fingers, you've seen him do it many times, just never on your wrists. Experimentally you shook out your fingers and bent and scrunched your wrist to allow for the right amount of tightness.

'Cocky, aren't you, Mr. Kim,' you side-eyed him.

He leaned into you, his breath teasing yours, 'I am the Coach here, y/n.' You blinked at the nervous fluttering in your chest, his intimidation, usually not directed so closely to you, doing something you couldn't explain, couldn't quite grasp.

Somehow, you should be scared, but it was, hot.

Leaning into him, breath for breath, you matched up, 'Then teach me.'

A slow smile broke out over his lips, playful Tae was back, it let you navigate things easier, you knew what to expect.

'So, I'm boxing the bag,' you deduced. 'I don't see why I need to tire myself out. I don't know how to do this.'

His palms closed over your cheeks, puffing your face up, emphasizing your pout. 'You are frustrated. You can't do anything about any of your emotions tomorrow, y/n. You have to be patient. You have to remind yourself it's a day at a time that gets you to your future. It will always be about patience.'

'Unfortunately, patience is overrated at something to 4am,’ you complained as he let go of your face and bent down to produce a new set of gloves from under the ring. Opening the zip of the bag, he pushed one toward you.

Shaking his head at your antics, not even phased, he strapped the gloves to both your hands and walked toward a bag. 'Come on, try it.'

'Color?'

'The yellow one.' He made to stand behind the bag you chose, and held either side of it, knees bent slightly in a defensive stance.

Feeling slightly out of place, and awkward, you huffed and punched the bag just to humor him.

You stared at it. The fucking thing didn't even move.

He burst out laughing at the comical look on your face.

'Okay, wait no,' he composed himself and came around you. His breath fanned your neck, giving you goosebumps, as he held your wrists and showed you how to punch. 'So straighten your elbow, like this, and pull it back in and see how the gloves are shaped, your forefingers curl above your thumb, so inside your glove your thumb shouldn't be in the fist.'

Nodding as you took in the new information, you did your best not to get distracted as he continued, all too comfortable in his element.

'When your wrist hits the bag don't curl it, let it face the impact head on. See, this is how you do it, so you don't break your wrist.' He made you punch the bag and showed you where your wrist was bending and how to keep it tight.

'Alright, baby,' that word, that goddamn word, 'you good to try again?'

Closing your eyes and swallowing hard, you nodded in answer and shook your head out of the Tae trance.

'Start with a simple combo this time, Jab, Jab, Uppercut, Hook.' You knew the names and their directions. Jab was straight forward, twice fast on the submissive hand as a set-up, the uppercut from downward into the abdomen or chin, depending, and the hook, from the dominant hand rounding off on the face.

'Think of it all y/n,' he encouraged, as he walked to his original position, 'the people, the words, the expectations, the beating up of yourself you do on a daily basis, and just go for it.'

Spreading your legs in a stance, aiming at the bag on his command, you clenched your fists and focused.

'Go'

----

'And breathe.'

Breathing heavily you fell flat to the floor, and stared up at the ceiling.

Sweat was in your eyes and your hair, but despite being in dire need of a shower, you felt oddly at ease. Tiny zings of exertion shot through your body as your lungs begged for air and you heard your blood rushing.

The roof was really pretty you thought, the wood positioned in long blocks to form and hold up the gable, grabbing your attention for the first time ever.

You blinked as Tae's face came into view, his hands resting on his knees.

He smirked cutely as he brushed your sweat slicked hair out of your eyes and off your face before reaching down to pick you up off the floor.

Handing you a water bottle, you let him manhandle you as he lifted your form to sit on the edge of the ring, launching himself up to sit next to, a second later.

'How do you feel?' He was proud of himself no doubt, after all, his plan did succeed.

You made a face at him, anyway.

'Hey,' he put both his hands up in mock surrender. 'It worked, didn't it.'

You cut him some slack, this time. 'Yeah, I feel icky, but definitely less worked up.'

---------

🎶 - Black Swan - BTS

TAE

Taking a swig of the water you had opened in your hand, he looks at the top of your head as he closes it and puts it away.

'Hey.'

She looks up at him, eyes hooded in exhaustion.

He smiles at her. Despite how much he loved her spitfire, she's adorable when she's not talking back.

He knew of the thoughts that crawled up her spine on a daily basis. He knew she had no plan, and it made her hyper that she didn't have one, but she couldn't make one because, what if she chose wrong.

He wanted to take care of her. He wanted to tell her that she could be whatever she wanted to be, and he would fly her across the ocean if she really wanted it; that she didn't need to worry about life so much because he would always take care of her.

'You're too sad.'

She scrunched her eyebrows at him.

'You have the whole weight of the world on your shoulders and you can't do anything about it.' He chose his next words carefully. 'I wish you could take a breather, and let a thought be a thought instead of picking it apart.'

He held up his hand to her when she made to protest.

'You know, things may not feel okay right now, with work, or at home, and in your head. But I've never seen someone adapt like you have. You bounce back, despite how much grit it takes.'

He took the gloves off her hand and carefully unwinded the tape on her fingers.

'I don't have answers y/n. But I do know you have me for a long time and I'm going to be here as you do your thing.'

Placing pressure on each finger he massaged the tightness out of it and flexed it for her.

'I don't know where you're supposed to go, if you were meant to leave and give me a round-the-world heartbreak, I'm not sure who you're supposed to be, I don't even know if you have a higher purpose, it wouldn't surprise me if you did, but you, y/n,' he heaved a sigh as he faced her, his gaze meeting hers, his next words the most important thing she'd need to remember,' you're a good you.'

As he met her eyes, her breath hitched. He heard it. He could see the flush in her face. He knew he was being honest. He knew he meant every word.

A half smile, a heavy acceptance, hands that were so easy to hold, eyes that were never anything but honest, a bond that all but forced a person to keep swimming. That was Taehyung to y/n. And that was y/n to Taehyung.

'You're a really, good you,' he reinforced. 'Right now, it works. I have a feeling it will work for a very long time.'

'I'm scared.' He could hear it in her voice. He heard it back when she was in her room too.

'Nothing is really set in stone, babe. And even though it does feel like you're running out of time, it's something you can't help. It's not what you want to hear but it's true.'

'How do I stop being sad?'

She was deflecting. But he had said it before, it wouldn't be gone tomorrow. Her anxiety and her fears, they will probably never go away.

She had the right way to go about it though. You get through it. Somehow. Some days it's a good cry, some days it's with a punching bag, and some days, it was with a best friend.

'See, now that's why you have me.' He answered confidently, as he put his chest out, his need to have her be okay, her smile, her laugh, his only intentions, his favorite thing these days.

'Oh really, you, why, because you're a clown.'

He feigned offense at the statement. 'Excuse me, I am not a clown, ask anyone that comes in for the 5am rush.'

She looked up at the clock in shock, it was really going half-four. She turned back to him sadly, 'I kept you up all night.'

'It was a fun night,' he replied, the teasing of many other ways to keep him up on the tip of this tongue, deciding against it, he looked away from her. 'You needed me, no amount of sleep is worth that.'

He didn't explain himself, he really didn't mind the lack of sleep. He could easily catch a nap in his office, or head home after half a day. But this, this moment with his best friend, that he wanted to be more, he knew he wouldn't choose to be anywhere else. He knew he'd do it over again too.

Pushing off the ring he grabbed the knapsack and handed her his shirt. 'Change out of that shirt, and use this one, you'll catch a cold, because of the sweat. And let's get you home, you need a hot shower, and sleep. I'll drop by for dinner after work too.'

Finally turning to her, he found she hadn't moved an inch, unshed tears in her eyes. Before he knew what he was doing, he pulled her toward him, sweat and all, and held her in his arms. 'You're first y/n, you'll always be first.'

A tender kiss on her head, his words rendering her speechless, and he knew uncharted waters were on the horizon.

This night, things that he'd said, the ways in which she responded, it was going to shift things for them.

But silence was comfortable for them. And she drank his share of coffee while he ate her share of pineapple, because he couldn't stand coffee and she hated pineapple. And he could hold her in his arms and she'd use his shirt while they slept.

It would start small, but he'd show her, the future was bright, she was deserving of more than she understood, she would be protected from her family and expectations and she would learn to remember, purpose or no purpose she wasn't alone, she never would be again.

#kim taehyung x you #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung #taehyung au #taehyung fic #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #bts fics #bts aus #bts oneshot

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marvelyhp · 3 years

Text

Still you | chapter II

Chapter II: The comeback

Synopsis: Y/n decides to help the Avengers despite their betrayal two years prior and her life makes a big shift once again.

Pairing: Y/n x Bucky Barnes and some Y/n x Sam Wilson

Word count: 5,997

warnings: cussing, some fluff

note: I know I took so long but I had writer's block. then, I got covid and I felt too awful to write. But I'm okay now so this is what I could come up with. Not my greatest stuff. the tag list is open :)

Side note: I would really appreciate hearing from you and your thoughts!

--------------------

We managed to lower two floors without raising suspicion or making too much noise. At least, James and I were pretty silent, whispering if needed. But of course, Stark always had to open his damn mouth. He had been talking all the way —pretty loudly too— and he just did it again.

“Where’s the grandpa with the bad luck of having you as a tenant?” The man didn’t know the meaning of whispering. Or maybe he did. He just wanted to make my life more complex than it was. I looked frantically behind me, praying he had not seen me sneaking out. At the sight of no one, a breath of relief exploded out of me. But it didn’t last long, irritation quickly dampening my already poor mood.

“Shut the hell up!” I hissed. My patience with the insufferable man wearing thin.

“Oh, relax. If he sees us, we’ll knock him out and blame you.” He mocked, a chuckle erupting throughout the hall and following the stairlike a draft of wind. My blood started to boil inside my veins and I felt the heat spread from head to toes. I was afraid to be reaching my tipping point already because this was nothing. Two years out of practice left me hypersensitive to his shit. I wondered how long I would be able to stand the insufferable mortal and regret hit me like a ton of bricks.

“He is a good man, Stark. We will not knock him out.” I whispered as I pressed myself against the wall. Twisting my head around the corner at the end of the hall, I sneaked a glance at the stairs and the visible space from the top. “Watch your step here. His room is right underneath the stairs. We don’t want to wake him up.

I walked forward, pressing my foot in the first step, praying the creak of the old wood would keep quiet today as it did some nights. At least that’s what I hoped but it wasn’t what happened. A groan broke the silence in the room and I knew that if he was awake, he definitely heard it. I waited a couple of seconds, alert to any noise. When nothing came, I advanced four more steps. I focused on the one shadow dancing in the wall and relief swept through me. He wasn’t awake.

I turned, thinking the guys were still up. However, I let out a gasp when Bucky’s face came into view, mere inches away from mine. Thanks to the startle, the foot I had dangerously close to the edge slipped.

My heart stopped as I thought about the fall and the inevitable bone-crushing pain that would come after it. The stairs were pretty high and even though they were wood, it was quite sharp. Splinters roamed everywhere. I waited for the pain and the strenuous sound. It was phenomenal, the first time I saw the team in two years and I would meet them in a body bag with a broken neck.

However, it never came.

When I opened my eyes, blue electric eyes stared back at me. Our faces were inches away from each other. A hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me flush against him to hold me from falling. I was hyper-aware of our breaths clashing against each other, making the most sinful of sounds. Our lips were separated by a small space, too close for my brain to catch up quickly. I noticed how his lips roamed my face, stopping at my lips slightly parted by the surprise. His eyes held a fervent fire and my breath quickened once I felt the inevitable rush of warmth roaring my body.

Coughing slightly, I took a step backward, stepping out of his grasp. I forgot all about the landlord as I scolded myself. The man looked at me and there I was getting flushed like a raging hormonal teenager. I looked at everything but Bucky’s face, why I knew still had his eyes on me except now his jaw was firmly set. I wanted to ask him what was going on inside his head but a hovering shadow at the top of the stairs captured my attention.

“What are you still doing up there?'' The man looked utterly confused standing at the top of the stairs surrounded by darkness. I wondered if it had to do with what he just witnessed.

“You care about that grandpa, don’t you?” His expression was one of disbelief. His body wasn’t moving as if in shock or trying to process the information he thought was correct. And it was, but he didn’t have to know.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, unaffected.

“Of course you do. You care about the landlord.”

I whirled around as fast as I could with the incident earlier present in my head as a gruff voice filled the room. A short, stubby old man stood at the foot of the stair dressed in a white t-shirt and some basketball shorts. The ends of his hair stood up as if held by a string and maneuvered by a child. His narrowed black eyes stared back at us. His lips pressed in a thin line.

“Of course, she does, kid. Why shouldn't she?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. I followed the movement of the milk dancing in the glass on his right hand. I felt proud of the English I had taught him and how-- as much as I didn't want this to happen-- useful it would be. I looked back at Stark to find him gaping like a fish. Little croaks came from his throat but no coherent words came from him. It was the first time I had seen Stark speechless. “I’m an incredible landlord if I say so myself.”

He was.

I cursed inwardly. There were things I didn't want everyone to know. To a certain extent, I wasn’t ready for the team, for Stark, to find out that I wasn’t the monster he expected me to be. I wasn’t ready for him to look at me differently. Andrei had the power to change our whole dynamic.

It wasn’t that Andrei and I shared anything about life. Or at least I didn’t. Andrei liked to talk, to share his life with me, and try to make me talk. He said I was too reserved. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It had been a warm evening. I could see the sun filtering through the windows. Shining onto the top of the show top and illuminating the cottage-like bakery. The dough in my hands stuck to my skin, lumps of a uniformed cream mass suffocating the fingers. The powdered white dust sat beside me and I felt irritated. I hadn’t thought about pouring it on the mixture before I touched it. ‘I was out of my element here’ I thought as I reached for the flour.

Andrei’s baker had abruptly called five minutes before work notifying him he couldn’t work his shift. His grandmother had fallen down the stairs and fractured her hip, hence his lack of concern for Andrei. He was the only living relative she had so it fell upon him to look after her. One missed shift would turn into dozens. The bakery was small and hidden in a remote part of Romania. The clientèle was not much besides those living in the small town from years ago, or even since they were born.

Everyone in town knew each other. When I arrived I had my doubts about staying in this place because of that same reason. I would be the talk for weeks and I couldn’t risk so many people questioning my presence. Except, I was lucky.

One evening, I sat in a small and dark corner of a bar near the outskirts of the town where it was most probable to see an outsider. Two men sat a couple of feet away from me, talking fairly loudly. Out of boredom and desire to know the people I might have been seeing every day, I heard and studied their moments. Taking notes about their behaviors and storing them far into the file I had on humanity. Their voices were cheery as they ate pastries that I was sure to not be from the small bar.

“This is so good! I can’t believe I haven't tasted a pastry this good since I left,” he moaned loudly in reaction to the puff on his hand. The crumbly dessert spilling powdered sugar all over his dark gray pants. “Andrei hasn’t lost his touch.”

“Who is this Andrei you talk so highly of?” The older male asked the seemingly young partner. The man wore an expensive suit, not one that could be found here and from what I gathered from their conversation, he had not grown up here. But his friend did. What he said next grabbed my attention the most.

“His bakery is pretty hidden in the town. Someone that didn’t know the road would not find him. He used to be a criminal, on the run and all that. But since he got out of prison he became a baker. the man sure has a gift. I don’t even know why he went to jail, because the man is a sweetheart. I think he was just dealt a bad hand.” The man kept munching on his pastry as he talked. The vowels all merging to create a soundless blob. I swore he said more but that was all I could understand and by the face of his friend, he understood less.

“It’s such a small town. Why was it never known?”

“I don’t know. Rumor has it that he was born here but left, something to do with his family. He came back years later, on the run from some people. People we assumed to be the police. Of course, the police followed his trail and eventually found him here. Two years later. He hid pretty well if, you asked me. He treats people with respect but he never talks about himself. He has always been reserved when it comes to his life, only telling small details that lead to nothing. You know, not enough to form a life picture…”

Before he finished talking, I was out of my seat, walking towards the pair. I plastered an innocent look on my face, one I had studied and perfected many times since coming to earth. I relaxed my posture, knowing I had been tense and tucked since I entered this town. I still can’t believe I was social before. Nobody would believe that if I told them now.

“Hey, those pastries look marvelous!” I said in a cheery voice when I reached the pair. Both of their heads whipped towards my direction, curiosity written in their faces. I could hear the questions in their head about me and where I came from and what I looked for in town. Typical gossiping mortals. I wanted to cut the tie between our heads, feeling bad about corrupting the men’s thoughts. But I couldn’t, not until I had what I wanted. “Do you know where could I find them?”

“Sure thing. What’s your name, sweet thing?” Sweet thing, that’s funny. If he had been into the American news he would not say that.

“Calypso. Do you know where the place is? Can you explain it to me?” I said, trying to hide the hurry in my voice. His thoughts were front seat in my mind, not wanting to miss a thing.

“So eager.” He chuckled. Instead of the route, I was expecting, he thought about my naked form and countless sexual images began replaying. I resisted the urge to impale his backside, taking a deep breath and counting to ten. I played his game. I battered my eyelashes and looked at him from hooded eyes. I bit my lip gently and walked closer. Sneaking a glance at his friend, I noticed he was no longer looking at us. He seemed uncomfortable and had turned to his coffee and pastries. I wish I had a coffee to turn to.

“Maybe you could take me there. If you remember the way, of course.” He smirked and grabbed the jacket slung over the wooden chair he sat on. His friend looked at us, startled as if he wasn’t expecting my response. However, the joy of his friend would be short-lived. Images of the way to the small bakery filled my head and I smirked. Before he could take my hand to guide me to his car I asked for the restroom.

As soon as I came in, my eyes searched for some window I could use to leave unnoticed. And I found it in the corner of the bathroom beside one of the huge black and white mirrors. I locked the door and hurried to open the window, sliding through the door. The darkness of the night didn’t face me but my alert was high. Everybody could hide in the dark. My heart rocked against my chest as I saw the same guy from early waiting beside his car. I hurried along the alleyway, pulling my hood up and hiding my hair, disappearing into the dark.

“Calypso, boy for you.” I was brought from my memories by the rough voice of Andrei. Whoever didn’t spend much time with him would think he was mad all the time thanks to his voice and forever furrowed white bushy eyebrows. I matched the furrowing of his eyebrows when he mentioned a boy. I had been careful enough to not get attached or get anyone attached to myself so the mention of another human being besides Andrei spooked me.

Suddenly, the thought of agents looking for me or the usual threats I had filled me with panic. I heard the thunderous beat of my heart. The tremble of my hands disrupted the beautiful form of the pastry in my hands. quickly cleaning and taking away the apron full of white dust, I walked to the front of the door.

A dark-haired man in his early twenties stood next to the door with a blue box in his hands. A white shimmering ribbon adorned the delicate box, wrapping silkily around it to form a well-done bow. The chiseled bone structure of his profile caught my breath as he looked to the small, underpopulated plaza in the corner of the rondure. The curvature of his roman nose and the thin shape of his lips sticking in his profile.

I saw him regularly at the small bakery. His usual was a Papanaşia with a black strong coffee. He left three dollars on the tip jar three times a week and I noticed if he was overly happy, he would leave a fiver regardless of the day or how many days he had tipped. I had seen him mad twice in the store. Seemingly, he was one of those guys that harbored every trouble inside in a chaotic turmoil. I knew because I had invaded his mind one of those times. Curiosity had gotten the best of me, knowing he was always the type of guy that carried the sun on his shoulder. Every time he caught my attention, I tried to remind myself that he could’ve been an agent sent by Hydra to kill me or worse, kidnap me.

“Hello. What can I help you with?” I said, confidence laced in my voice. The confidence I did not expect to have. His head whipped towards me. A smile broke on his face at the sight of me. I saw the fidgeting of the box in his hands and the sudden bobbing of his knee. He didn’t appear to be harboring any secrets, or at least not deadly ones.

“Hey. I know this will probably look very weird to you but I’ve been watch- I mean not watching but I just- I,” His stammering caused a giggle to leave my lips involuntarily. My hand immediately flew to my lips, hiding the smile corrupting my face. He lowered his face but not before giving me one of those smiles that could light up a world. God, I felt sappy. He looked at me once again. “I don’t know how to do this. I definitely didn’t think it through.” He chuckled. One of his hands came up to brush his face while shaking it, side to side. I could tell he was nervous, maybe more that I initially had been.

Seeing him stammer was the cutest thing I had seen since the little green and purple flowers that grew back home and surrounded our palace. So, I decided to help him a bit. “You could start with your name,” I said, trying to not smile too much. Agent, agent, agent…

“God, you probably should’ve done that first. Nice one.” He said, more to himself than for me to hear it. “I’m Razvan. It's lovely to finally meet you.” I shook his hand. It was rough yet soft with elongated fingers caressing my own small and thin one.

“Calypso.”

“What I meant to say, you know, before I shot myself in the foot was that you caught my eye since I first saw you. Now, I swear I'm not stalking you because it could be easy to think after the horrible introduction I just did. But, yeah, I would like to get to know you, if that’s okay with you.”

I did think about it. I swear I did. I thought about how he could be linked to Hydra and if you searched on the deepest paranoid corner, the Avengers. I thought he could’ve been just a random murderer whose floor I had shaken. My voice of reason said no. and with the saddest feeling settling my stomach, I told him what I thought. Or tried to.

“I’m sorry, I-I can’t. You seem like the loveliest person b-but I…” For some reason, I couldn’t just say no. “Can I think about this?” That was the only thing that came out of my mouth while I tried to get the words ‘go away and ‘don’t speak to me’ out of my mouth. His smile faded a bit, but even then he tried to keep his positivity and bright personality on. I could feel the waves of disappointment once I started speaking but hope soon came flooding back.

“Sure. I'm a complete stranger coming here every day just to see you. I can see how that’s alarming. take your time.” He shook his head as if realizing what he had just said. He chuckled and I tried to give him a small smile. Before I could turn away and leave, I felt him touch my elbow. I jumped back.

His brows furrowed quickly. “Forgive me. This is for you. And please accept it.” I thought about refusing but this would only prolong this meeting, pushing me to accept a company I wasn't ready for. I took the small box, my hand already trying to open the shimmering blue box. “No, please. Open it later, more calmly and everything and you can tell me whenever you’re ready if you like it.” I gave him a smile, which he returned brightly before diving back inside the back of the store.

Once inside, I undid the delicate ribbon, watching it dissolve like seafoam by the lovely blue water. The glistening gold chain with a tiny, colorful Koi fish rested in the center of the box. My heart swelled and I felt a way I hadn’t felt since Bucky. He remembered what I had told him that first, and the only time we had talked before today.

The voice of Andrei brought me out of my stupor with a jump. A hand traveled to grasp my heart while the other held the box tightly.

“Razvan is nice guy.” His voice was gruff and deep like it had been since I had met him. He walked behind me and grabbed a pack of flour to dump beside me. I looked towards the other and realized I was running out of it.

“Do you know him?”

“Yes. Comes every day for two years. Great boy.”

When I didn’t say anything, he stopped cutting open the pack of flour and turned to look at me. “You too reserved. Not want to end like Andrei alone. Give guy chance.” That was all he said before he left. A tall wrinkly woman with short red hair calling out for him.

The last thing I thought that day after he left drove me to the same road he had set me on. I didn’t want to end alone or die alone for that matter. But what was I to do if everyone thought I was a selfish monster who just wanted to kill and bring chaos? The only person who didn’t feel that particular way was the same man I was leaving without saying goodbye.

Stark seemed to have gathered his words together because he suddenly began spewing some shit on Andrei. shit, he didn’t like it.

“The girl is no selfish girl. Only a fool like yourself would think so. Only a blind man would propose such a thing.” His brows were furrowed but Otherwise, he was calmly standing at the bottom of the stairs sipping his milk. He seemed like he would continue but I made sure to stop him

“Andrei, no.”

“I see. She holds you hostage and controls you, doesn’t she?” Stark countered, a smirk settling in his features. I pinched my nose, sighing loudly.

“You have to leave with this buffoon?” I walked down to his side, muttering an annoyed yes. “I’m sadder for you than him.” A chuckle escaped him as he hugged my shoulders with one arm. I tried to push him away but found no will to do so. I would miss Andrei. He felt like the father I never had. Worry settled in my stomach knowing I had been here and I would no longer be if anything happened to him. I hugged him back, despite my better judgment and the four pairs of eyes staring back at me.

“Don’t forget about me, violet. Nor dear Razvan.’ He told me after letting me go. I nodded before calling back to my two companions. Stark came down, slowly walked to the front door. Bucky at his heels. They both turned. Bucky’s face had some sort of emotion I couldn't decipher. I thought I could, but I doubt he would feel happy about finding someone genuine to spend my days with.

Stark, on the other hand, looked at Andrei as if he had grown an extra head.

“I’m confused. Aren’t you supposed to be dying at her touch or something? Are you sure she didn’t threaten you to act this way?” The funny thing was, he sounded genuinely confused. The skepticism in his voice hurt my feelings but the mere fact it was stark made me forget quickly. He was an insensitive prick with a personal vendetta.

“Take this fool away before I turn him into a human pastry,” Andrei commented. I walked towards them, chuckling. “Ai grijă, violet aprins.” Take care, fiery violet. The elder said before we shut the door behind us. my heart swelled at his words. I knew I would long for those quiet evenings where it would rain and we would sit down in the living room with a book, quietly enjoying our presence. We laughed and made new and invented pastries in the kitchen for days, always looking for new and innovative flavors. I would miss the man that had treated me like his daughter.

“Take care, Pop.” I whispered to myself. Not thinking a long-haired blue-eyed soldier would hear.

And just like that, we disappeared quietly into the night and I said goodbye to one of the most important people in my life.

James let me know they came in the Quinjet, that enormous thing I had refused to sit on two years ago. the walk was not far from where we were and we found it in a while.

The Quinjet was hidden behind one of the buildings next to the bakery. the gigantic thing sleeping while we arrived to climb up. clint stood outside, his arms crossed. that man always looked like he was in a power pose.

“Romania? What is it with chased people and Romania?” Confusion and genuine interest were written all over his face.

Barton had always been a friend before I knew the truth. Nat told me she had told him in a drunken stupor. he tried to talk to her about telling me but she didn’t listen. I didn’t hold it against him because I knew he wasn’t actively participating but he didn’t do anything either.

I shrugged. “It’s a good hiding place. too many criminals organizations for you to matter. nobody cares who the hell you are as long as you keep quiet.”

“Good shadow place.” Bucky added as he tried to help me get in the Quinjet. I ignored his hand, focusing on Clint’s face.

“Exactly.” My response was clipped. if he was fishing for a normal conversation he was in for a treat.

After a while, we took off. My legs became restless as I sat in front of Stark and Bucky while Clint piloted the flying thing. boredom pushed me to get up from my seat and walk towards the front of the Quinjet. that, and Straks glare along with the awkwardness of Bucky’s movements.

Clint’s focused face came into view as I sat beside him. silence engulfed the both of us before he broke the silence with some words I didn’t expect.

“We missed you.” it was a quiet remark but full of shocking force. I just sat there, wide-eyed looking towards the already clearing sky. I looked towards him and forced myself to respond. a scoff came out of me, causing Clint to look rapidly towards me.

“You have no reason to believe me, but it’s the truth. Nat was pretty shaken up when you left. we looked for you everywhere and decided you didn’t want to be found. that you needed some time. it took you longer than we thought.”

“You didn’t find me because you didn’t look. You don’t have to lie to me, Barton.” I said, masking the hurt I felt with anger. why keep lying to me? I knew they didn’t care sop they didn’t need to act as they did.

“What? we did loo-” He never finished his sentence since Stark’s voice boomed around the small space. he came to let us know where would land soon as if we didn’t know already. Clint was the pilot, it was impossible for us to not know. suspicion arose in my chest but I soon forgot it when I saw the massive compound below us.

✹✹✹ I would be lying if I said my stomach wasn’t fluttering and my hands trembled slightly. I subtly rubbed my hands in my jeans, hoping to get some moisture away. But, there was something else bothering me. It had been there for a little while. The emptiness in my chest divided in two, as though… I don’t even know. The doors slid with a swift sound and my heart rate hit new floors.

I tried to avoid showing any emotion I felt. Seeing them surrounding the long table, all in their daily clothing made it hard to remember. I couldn’t show the happiness of seeing them all right after two years. Nor could I show the excitement deep in my bones seeing Wanda’s face. I couldn’t forget the damage (situation) those high-held beings made to my heart.

I looked at them with a mask of indifference firmly placed.

Wanda was the first to step forwards, as I knew she would. I didn’t expect her to but a part of me screamed how she had been the only real friend through the year I spent in this cage. I resisted the urge to hug her, touch her, and receive the reassurance I so deeply wanted.

“I thought- we thought you were dead.” The revelation shocked me. It felt as though they couldn’t believe I was alive. But I was. The question was… why did they think so?

“Nop. Still kicking.” I replied.

“Unfortunately.” I heard Stark mutter under his breath. I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to kick him. I could make him feel a true kick in his brain. And his ass, too.

“Y/n!” A high-pitched voice came from the corner next to me. The smiley face of Pepper Potts came rushing towards me, engulfing me in a hug. My nerve endings shot and I prayed my instinctive responses wouldn’t go through. Fortunately for me, they didn’t. Before I could even think to hold her back—which I wouldn’t have done anyway— she stepped back. Smile intact and a gleam in her eyes capable of illuminating the whole room.

“Jesus. You’ve changed so much!” Her hands settled on my shoulder, holding softly and slightly shaking my shocked frame. “I missed you.” Her vice took a sweet edge and her head lolled to the side. Her eyes scrutinized me with the look of a mother who had just seen her child after a hard year abroad. I resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably out of her grasp. I wasn’t used to this.

“Honey, leave the feral alien alone.” Tony’s voice reached my ears. “We have important matters to discuss.”

“God, Tony. Give us a break. We haven’t seen the kid in two years.” Natasha’s ______ filled the room as I saw her taking steps towards me. I noticed there were no relaxed steps but tense and wary. Her eyes held a sort of apology mixed with caution.

I just stared. Deep inside I didn’t know how to react to someone I hadn’t seen in a long time, someone who betrayed me gets closer. Her body language told me she was sorry but still cautious of my reaction but I didn’t know if I should forgive her. Her right hand stretched towards my frame. I shifted uncomfortably in place, moving slightly away from her.

I saw her eyes roam my body, noticing the discomfort. She came to a halt three feet away from me. Her lips were pursed as she let her head drop for a second. She recovered quickly, extending her same hand towards me, this time to shake my hand.

“It’s good to have you back, Y/n.”

I took her hand in mine, shaking firmly. I nodded my head towards her. My lips pursed. The movement of Wanda’s body caught my eye. She stepped closer to me, her hands nervously trembling beside her big, red jumper.

“Can I hug you?” Hearing those words coming out of her froze the ongoing flow of blood through my veins. I was shocked, to say the least. I bet I looked like a gaping fish as an incomprehensible string of detached words escaped my lips. Everyone else seemed as surprised as I was. For completely different reasons I would bet. As Stark had said, they thought I was a free being.

She waited patiently, probably aware of the shock and ongoing battle I had inside me. She was the only one aware of my thoughts about showing anything besides contempt. And she knew why. But I sent it all to hell and for once, I did what I wanted to do. I nodded.

Her smile was worth enough as she moved quickly towards me, as though worried I would change my opinion. Her thin arms wrapped around my neck, my lack of height apparent as my 5’1 ass reached her shoulders. I resisted the urge to cry as I wrapped my arms around her back, relishing in a familiar face that didn’t hate my only existence.

“I missed you.” It was a whisper, only for me to hear. A small smile escaped my lips as hope blossomed in my chest. Hope that maybe I wasn’t a lost cause. Hope that maybe someday I could have a family.

“I did too, Red.” I murmured back. Careful to not raise my voice as I didn’t want anyone to know anything. I felt oddly vulnerable to be hugging someone let alone hugging someone in front of seven people. I noticed Vision staring and I gave him a subtle nod, a small smile creeping upon my lips. He nodded back with that usual blank expression not in compass with the feelings he harbored. After some time, I let her go before Stark had another remark to make.

I noticed Steve leaning against a far-away table, maybe ten feet away from where I was. His head lowered, eyes on the ground. His arms surrounded his build, hugging himself with a heavy frown on his face. He didn’t want to look towards me and I thought I knew why. He was ashamed of what he did. He was guilty anyway you looked at it. He was guided by Bucky to do everything. He followed the man despite knowing it was wrong. Not because your friend tells you to throw yourself out the window means you’ll do it. He knew full well what was wrong and right. He knew Barnes' proposal was as low as a man could get.

If he didn’t apologize and acknowledge what he did, he was dead to me. I mean, he had tried to apologize that day, but I was devastated and no words came through my anger.

There were a few handshakes and subtle nods here and there before I noticed a presence missing. I looked around for the usual big man with an overinflated sense of heroism but didn’t find him. He was big enough for anyone to spot him. I felt a pang in my chest and a tingle at the back of my head and I knew something was wrong. The air shifted and my hands started trembling slightly.

“Where’s my brother?” I asked, my voice slightly shaky. I tried to compose myself, knowing he had to be alright or I would’ve felt something.

“We don’t know. We couldn’t get a hold of him.” Natasha replied. I noticed the subtle worry etched in her face lines.

Suddenly, I understood that emptiness inside me. That swirling emotion unlatched to an earthy body. One of the connectors inside of me, besides bucky’s, was empty. It didn’t have any energy to connect to.

No.

I didn’t realize I began hyperventilating while the word repeated itself over and over in my head. My chest rose and fell quickly while the air got caught in my throat. My hand shot out to grasp anything in reach I could hold myself up with.

“Y/n?! What’s wrong?” Wanda was the first to step forward and grab my elbow. Her soft touch didn't completely register in my sensory sense. The only thing in my mind was the heavy colorless fog swirling around in my insides.

The worst part was, I didn’t know which of my brothers it belonged to. I thought about them and how long it had been since I had seen them. Since I had been with them.

“Can you all excuse me?” I pulled myself together and without waiting for a response, I hurried across the room. I thought about the me that they just saw but somewhere deep down, I didn’t care.

I hurried, passing Steve's body. This time, he looked intently at me. I didn’t expect him to stand up and grab my shoulders. By this point, my vision was blurry and I tried hard to reconnect with the missing life essence.

“Y/n, I-”

“Can we do this later, Rogers?” I spat, cutting him off before getting my elbow out of his grasp. I left, shuddering and feeling a wave of anger rising in my chest.

What a good way to make a comeback.

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calumxkisses · 3 years

Text

Yellow | c.h.

pairing: calum hood x reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none

summary: prince!calum au - you're his yellow and he's yours.

a/n: hi! 'm not really good with au imagines but i hope you'll like it. let me know what you think of this imagine. love you!

this imagine its inspired by the song: yellow

✰ ✰ ✰

“Yellow.” A sudden voice makes you jump. You close the book you’re reading as you place a hand on your chest, feeling your heart beating quickly.

The library is huge, the storm lights barely illuminate the room, making it almost impossible to find your way around and read without the help of candles. The smell of old books is strong, there is a lot of dust on the shelves and feeling small near these high shelves make the perfect atmosphere to be able to take refuge from the outside world, from a world made of rules and confined to the land surrounding the property. Your little refuge, however, is interrupted by the presence of this man and you turn around quickly, trying to hide the smile that forms on your face at the sight of the stranger.

Despite the size of the room, the prince appears to be in full control of everything around him. He is standing in front of the door, several meters separate your figure from his, yet you can see the smile he gives you, his hands hidden behind his back and the fine lines near his eyes that underline his amused expression.

“What?” You ask before placing your hand in front of your mouth and widening your eyes. In your mind, a vivid image of your mother scolds you for your language and reminds you that you are no longer a child and that you must be careful when addressing a prince or any other high-ranking social figure.

“I'm sorry for talking to you like that, sir. I'm afraid I don't understand what your 'yellow' refers to.”

Prince Calum laughs briefly before slowly approaching you.

"We've known each other since we were children, we don't need certain formalities."

“My mother says-” you try to justify yourself, but he cuts you off right away.

“Nobody’s here.” He whispers before standing in front of you, keeping some distance to avoid misunderstanding in case someone enters. If it were up to him, there would be no such distance between you, but rules are rules and he would never want to compromise your image.

You look around to make sure no one is spying on you and, sure you are alone with him, you relax your shoulders and jaw, releasing the sigh you were holding back.

“So, yellow?” You ask, smiling, placing the book on the table to your left while you look at the boy, waiting for an answer.

His curly hair is carefully pulled back and the dark circles under his eyes lead you to imagine him sitting at his desk, with a lighted candle next to him and his gaze on the window in front of him, instead of the pages he is holding with his hand, pages he should study in order to become the man his father wants him to be, but that he will never be.

“It was a difficult choice, I will not lie to you. There are so many colors that remind me of you, the red of the dress you wore at your first dance when you entered society, the purple of the vase you broke when you discovered that you have been promised in marriage to an old man or the blue of water of the stream next to the tree where we always go to sit under it. And there are a thousand other colors that I associate to you.”

You smile proudly to hear that he paid attention to every detail and remember how as a child he couldn't even memorize the poems the teachers taught him and the thousand fights you had when you tried in vain to help him learn each verse.

“When I think of you, however, I think back to when you collected Ranunculus repens and put them in your hair, to embellish your hair and feel like the princesses who came to visit us. You always did it and you always took a few more so, when it rained and we couldn't go out, you had your little escort and you could wear them even inside these walls. You always have and if I'm not wrong-”

Calum slowly reaches out his arm towards you, his hand brushes your neck causing you to shiver all over your body, before moving a strand of hair and grabbing something from behind your ear.

“You still wear them.” He whispers, bringing his hand in front of your eyes and showing the small yellow flower you were wearing until a few seconds before.

“They still make me feel like a princess from one of those fairy worlds I read books about.” You whisper, you look down as a sense of shame takes hold in your body. Your heart seems to feel pain as you think back to how you still feel as a child, how you still dream of those fairy tales you hoped you could live one day.

“You're a princess with or without those flowers on, you know it too, you just hope that others see you as you do, too special for a life you don't want to be part of.” He says bringing his fingers under your chin and lifting your face up. His gaze no longer conveys joy and his tone is harsh, an angry expression has taken place on his face.

“Calum..” You try to stop him from speaking that truth you don't want to hear, but his words have broken through your heart and the pain you seemed to feel, now you are definitely feeling. You take a step back, trying to get away from a situation you can't escape from.

“You don't have to do it, you don't have to stay and spend the rest of your life between false smiles and sleepless nights. Your sister will be queen and my father thinks I'm a failure since I was born. Let's run away, me and you. My cottage already has everything we need and I'm sure they will never come looking for us. We will live that fairy tale we imagined for us and we will have the life we always wanted.”

His hand grabs yours and his gaze is on you. You know he's not lying, he told you the love he feels towards you in the dungeons of this same castle and you haven't thought twice before confessing your love to him.

But this castle, these people, is all you have always known.

It’s a world that doesn't belong to you but you can't just leave. There are rules, responsibilities, tasks that you cannot escape.

“It's not that easy, Calum.”

“No, it's not, it's not easy and it won't be. We'll probably end up arguing and you'll regret running away with me. But then you'll think back to all these tight corsets you had to wear, all the formalities you had to comply with and the man you would hold if you have stayed and you will understand that country life is so much better than a life spent in sadness and that that terrible man who made you cry actually loves you madly and just wants what he knows it’s better for you.”

He also grabs the other hand and continues.

“And if you really want to go back, I will be ready to be looked at with scandal by everyone and to take you back to the castle, to face your father and see you held by arms that are not mine.”

You know that it will be hard, but you have never wanted to be a queen. It’s a big responsibility for a girl that just wants to live a fairy tale, that wants to be free in her own terms. You never wanted a kingdom, you never wanted to be property of some old man and certainly you never wanted to spend your existence submitted to someone else’s orders.

You just wanted to be happy, to live your life to the fullest, to love a man who respected you, your dreams, your independence and your passion for flowers and books.

And maybe house cleaning, mud and small rooms will never be like having silk sheets, breakfast prepared by someone else and the floor always clean, but they certainly convey a sense of greater happiness and a life spent in misery and in sadness it’s the dream of those who do not want to fight for what they dream of and are satisfied with mediocrity.

And you don't deserve mediocrity and the guy in front of you knows it well, he sees it in the way you feel uncomfortable during the dances, when your father talks to you about matters you can never take care of because you’re a woman and in the look that you give to your mother when she talks about her marriage, that is only political and not based on love.

You turn to your right, a huge gold mirror near the window reflects the library, the place where you grew up and where you have taken refuge millions of times. You look in the mirror, the diamond earrings reflect the gray of the sky and are too heavy for your ears. Your dress is gorgeous, hand-sewn by the best tailors, yet you don't feel as beautiful as when you wear old, unfashionable clothes and run free for the castle hills, without the fear of getting dirty or ruining expensive dresses.

Your eyes, pupils who love to look at the horizon, are sad, aware that by staying they will not be able to see any wonder. You touch your face, slowly run your hands over your cheeks, over your lips and run your finger over the bridge of your nose, remembering when you were just a little girl and were treated like a normal girl, a girl that loved when her father played with her and touched her nose while making funny noises with his mouth.

Then you look outside. The sky is full of dark clouds, the rain falls incessantly and a few lightning illuminate the afternoon sky. You look at that garden you have walked a thousand times, at all the flowers you have collected and at all the plants you have destroyed while playing with Calum.

You close your eyes thinking about all the places you haven't visited, all the trees you haven't leaned on to read and all the rivers you haven't seen flowing. There is a world out there, you think, that has yet to be discovered. And who are you, if not a woman ready for life's adventures?

“You didn't ask me.” You whisper.

“What?” Calum asks, confused.

“You didn't ask me which color reminds me of you.” You repeat as you slowly turn around to look at him.

A huge smile forms on his face.

“What color do you think when you think of me?”

“When I was ten, one night, I decided to explore the dungeons alone. I wanted to prove to myself that I was able to do anything. I almost made it, I almost managed to face the monster we thought lived in the cells, but then it was all too dark and I ended up going back to my room crying.” You slowly approach him.

“The next night, you showed up in my room with a jar full of fireflies, you gave it to me and whispered "You can do it." I ended up walking through the dungeons with this jar in my hand, you were a few meters behind me to make sure nothing happened to me, but I always knew you were there, even if you tried to hide.”

“I was able to face one of my biggest fears that night. Whatever other problem happened, you were always ready to help me if I needed it, you always supported me, with advice or simply by being close to me, a few steps back to let me free. You were essential in making me grow, while remaining away. Like the stars, who guide the sailors from the sky, they let the sailors do what they believe is right, but they are there to help and guide them if they need it.”

You bring your lips to his ear and whisper: “At midnight, in our place. Don't be late and take the blue carriage, it makes less noise on the street.” You turn around and walk to your room to pack a small bag with all the essentials.

“Wait, you didn't answer my question!” He says turning towards the direction you went.

“You are my yellow, Calum.” You say, you are far away but you know he’s smiling and you smile too.

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all-about-seggs · 3 years

Text

Ardent Affections :

Pairing : Timeskip + Virgin! Sakusa Kiyoomi x Female reader

Rating : 18+, Explicit

Word count : 3k

Warnings : Smut and fluff (and holy shit I ended up including a bit of angst) , Loss of virginity, blow job, fingering, vaginal sex, established relationships.

A/n: I prefer dirtier side of Smuts but this was as far as I could go with Saku sooooo I hope my fluffy smut isn't cringey >.<.

Putting the plum filled onigiri in the clean plastic container, you give it another look over to make sure it's tidy enough, afterall, the person you made this for was nothing if not picky. But, you also knew he loved umeboshi, so after a few successful weeks of your relationship with Sakusa, you went ahead and bought more than enough dried plums to practice making something he won't be able to refuse. It didn't take long to reach the gym he was practicing at, with lunch time approaching, he'd be on his break too, giving you the perfect chance to have some alone time.

One would think, that no boyfriend would refuse their significant other's cooking but falling in love with him as well as dating him made you realise it wasn't the status quo. He was, at the very least, peculiar. Always on his own, Sakusa never felt the need to be involved with a lot of people, ironical as it may be for someone who played a team sport, his idiosyncrasies made it hard for most people to get close to him. That's why the sight of a cluster of high shool girls flocking your boyfriend, to give him their handmade goods was comical yet unsettling.

It wasn't something you got jealous at, but it's something that made you second guess yourself instead, whenever the thought of making him something pooped in your head, this same scene played infront of your eyes. Sakusa surrounded by a bunch of girls with heart eyes, wanting to give him stuff. On the verge of losing his polite demeanor, Sakusa almost gave them a taste of his blunt indifference if it weren't for some faculty member intervening. Today was the same.

With the perfect excuse, he pulled himself away from the group and sauntered towards you, eye twitching with a look that screamed ' I saw you having fun on my expense'. You quickly pulled yourself out of the gloomy thoughts and greeted him with your regular smile.

" I didn't wanted to disturb your fan meet", the cheeky tone in your voice added to his annoyance.

" I assure you that you didn't, besides you know I don't like hand made stuff ", he grumbled, voice carrying the regular icky note you were used to but it caused the dull ache in your heart grew. Before you could answer, you saw Bokuto running towards your direction, making you jump with his boisterous greeting,

" HEY! Y/n chan!... Are you gonna join us for lunch as well ?", The look in his face was as cute as his voice which was cutoff by Sakusa's cold one,

" No. I don't like the places you go to eat. Also, I'm done for today so we have no reason to stay.", Curt and to the point, Sakusa answered him and gestured you with his eyes to follow him instead.

" Geez, it's like he can never let loose!, Y/n chan! You should ask him to open up more!", pouting, the energetic male glared at Sakusa's retreating form.

"Ummm, Sorry Bokuto! He still doesn't know how to..... People? I guess? But he's trying! I know he is! So don't worry... We'll catch up with you guys sometime else okay?", With a slight bow, you trailed after your boyfriend, leaving a deflated Bokuto behind.

As you walked behind him, you thought about the first time the both of you met, he didn't even looked at you properly before leaving just like he was right now, about how you had to put your feelings out in the open first so that he'd finally notice them, how, for the last few days your garbage can only had dozens of messed up onigiri, and how the lunch you packed was getting colder by the minute as it layed still in your bag.

You were lost in thought for the rest of the way, he wasn't one to talk much but your constant silence was not something that often happened. Still not being used to initiating small talks, all he could do was gaze at the dazed look on your face.

The two of you made your way back to his apartment that the sports facility provided the players. You had been here a couple of times before but never long enough to actually call it 'staying over'.

" Why are we at your place?", You quietly ask, making him pause before speaking.

" I did say I was done with practice for the day", opening the front door he ushered you in. It was unsurprisingly neat, the entrance not having any useless items, infact everything in his place had a purpose or use.

It was a big step, him letting anyone in his personal space, considering his high maintenance personality you thought he'd dip you in a bucket of sanitizer everyday but he was a lot more chill when you both take your respective baths. He still goes in first.

The moment you stepped outside the bathroom, you saw a nervous looking Sakusa was sitting on the edge of his bed.

" Did you really wanted to have lunch with those guys?", His abrupt question caught you off guard, so apparently he took your silencein the wrong way, but it still warmed your heart to know he noticed and cared enough to talk about it, albeit clumsily.

" Is that why you think I was quite on our way here?", The reply you gave made him avert his eyes, whether it was out of embarrassment or the awkwardness in the room, it didn't change the fact that your sudden change in behaviour was noted by your boyfriend.

" If you have something to say, then I want you to tell me, I'm afraid I won't know otherwise", Sakusa added, finally looking at you with his deadpan yet sharp look.

He was right, every couple needs to have proper communication in order for their relationship to succeed, so with that in mind you decided to tell him about what's bothering you.

Walking over to his side, you sat next to him,

" I made you lunch today, but when I saw you rejecting your fans gifts saying you don't like handmade stuff, it- bothered me.", Your reasoning might've been a little selfish, it's not like you wanted to force anything on him just because you were his girlfriend but the fear of getting rejected always made you hold back on so many things.

" So I didn't give it to you, and then I just started having a trail of depressing thoughts about how maybe I'm the only one who wants anything from this relationship, I mean we haven't even done anything more than kissing Kiyoomi.", To you, this confession was nothing more than the frustrations you've built up. He was silently listening as you went on, not interrupting until you were done.

" I see....", His soft baritone was laced I'm regret as he brought his hands to you head, gently combing the strands, " I'm sorry, I made you feel that way, it's obvious that both of us need to work on our communication skills but there is one thing you got wrong", saying that, his hand combing you hair pushed you forward until you were right in front of his glossy lips,

" It should go without saying that I wouldn't let you in here if I didn't loved you, and you wouldn't be in this bed either if I didn't wanted you.", By the end of his sentence, his hot mouth covered your in a demonically passionate kiss which was all teeth and tongue. It was probably your longest kiss as well, making you grip his shoulders so hard it would've probably left marks if it weren't for his taut musculature. You pressed you hands on his sculpted chest, feeling his nipples harden as you slowly run you thumbs over them. Sakusa pulled away from you to catch a few breaths, his lips shining with your mixed saliva.

" I've never done this before......", hesitation crossed his eyes which soon melted into a look of determination as he brought his face near yours.

"But if it's with you, I know I'll like it", he panted, pulling you on his lap to continue his ministrations from a more closer proximity. The uncharacteristically deep kiss encouraged your hands to roam around more, to feel all of his ripped form through the fabric of his thin shirt. Your hand grazed his crotch, this contact alone was enough to make him twitch, his virginity showing, the blush on his cheeks spreaded all the way to his neck.

The front of his shorts looked so strained,It was painfully clear how much his cock was begging for attention, so you pushed Sakusa back until he was lying flat on the bed, feet still on the floor. Searching his eyes for any objections, you pulled his waistband down to reveal his bulging member. It suited a big guy like him, his thick cock felt so hot and heavy in you hand it took everything in you to stop yourself from jumping on it right away.

" Hggg... Wait... It's-", his voiced carried more embarrassment than discomfort but you stopped nonetheless.

" Dirty?.....is that what you want to say?", questioningly, you looked at him from between his legs as he nodded.

" Well sex is better dirty but, I'll try not to make a mess okay?", With a wink you grabbed his shaft with one hand and took his tip in your mouth. The warm, wet insides of your mouth touching the sensitive head of his cock made him shudder in pleasure but he didn't make more than a hum. Maybe your boyfriend was still embarrassed but now that you finally get to go down on him, you made it a personal goal to hear his moans.

Detemined to hear his beautiful whimpers, you added pressure on his member through your tongue as you moved your lips up and down, swallowing him as much as you could. Droll dripping from the side of your mouth and his precum gave you enough lubrication to increase you pace, going harder and harder until you felt your teeth make contact with his sensitive shaft, that must've hurt, you thought but atleast it got a reaction out of him.

" AH-.....mmmhh Y/n damnit.....you're doing it too roughly", you heard him complain from above you,

" I just rough housed you a little..... Anyway, you can't blame a girl who's been abstaining herself from fucking her hot boyfriend ", with a pop you pulled him out of your mouth and looked up at the wide eyed Sakusa with an uncharacteristic boldness that even surprised you. Maybe it was because of the situation or because you two had a heart to heart conversation about your feelings just now but you felt oddly comfortable with him more than you ever did before. You knew he loved you enough to put up with anything you'd throw at him at his point, so why not push your luck?

"......well aren't you a vulgar little girl", regaining his composure, Sakusa propped himself on his elbows to give you his trademark deadpan look. You squeeze his balls teasingly in an attempt to rile him up further, his face contorts a little before he shoots you a glare.

" I'm going to make you regret that", with nothing more than a growl he grabbed your hand to make lie face down beside him, for a second you thought he'd spank you, but the moment you raised you head from the mattress to see what's going on, a big hand was on your head pushing your face down again, his other hand ghosting over the hem of your t-shirt.

" It's my turn now, so you better behave", emphasizing the behave he first pulled your shirt off of your shoulders, then swiftly getting rid of your pants. This was an interesting turn of event, just a moment ago your virgin boyfriend was squirming like a pathetic little boy but with just a little teasing made him switch into daddy mode, you'd be lying if you said it wasn't thrilling.

You laid there stark naked as you heard a few rustling sounds coming from behind, indicating Sakusa taking his cloths off. His long, deft fingers grabbed your hips, raising them a slightly off the surface of the mattress, the digits of his right hand crept near your dripping core as if wondering if he should touch you or not, you moved your hips closer so you could feel his touch but he retreated his hand, only to pinch one of your butt cheek. The tease.

" If you're expecting me to eat you out too then keep dreaming..... but since I made you wait so long, I'll give you something else today", his matter of fact tone was even as he traced two long fingers up your slit taking in all of your juices, he pushed them inside your aching pussy. His thick digits rubbing your walls made you moan in the pillow, with his thumb he started rubbing your engorged clit. His actions were not exactly gentle but you didn't wanted them to be either, you wanted him to pound you into the mattress so bad but maybe it was asking too much from someone inexperienced.

" You like this right?", It wasn't exactly a question, as his increased his speed, with his free hand he pinched your ass again leaving small red marks in the fleshy patch of skin. Your first orgasm in so many weeks approached you with an intense force, making you buck you hips in Sakusa's hand. Just as your pussy started clenching around the fingers that was inside it, he withdrew his hand leaving you with a strange sense of emptiness.

" Not so fast y/n, it's more efficient it we cum together, besides I know you want more than just my fingers", his voice carrying the cockiness of someone far more experienced but you can't complain, for both his actions and words were easily bringing you closer to the edge. Ignoring the stickiness of his fingers he lightly massaged your butt cheeks before kneeling right behind them. The sight of your flushed, naked body was enough to get him going, something that he dare not admit.

From the corner of your eye, you saw him opening his bedside drawer to retrieve a condom. Well, atleast one of you were prepared for this, just as he finished putting on the thin protection, he asked you,

" I'm putting it in y/n", he didn't make it sound like a question but it wasn't until you nodded in approval, that he moved. Groaning lightly, Sakusa entered you inch by inch, making the process as slow as possible so could clearly feel the delicious stretch his thick cock provided. You were already panting by the time he bottomed out in you, as he started moving his hips you rolled yours to match his pace, creating a steady rhythm.

Both your pants and body were in sync, building up pleasure that soon reached its peak, the roll of your hips and the sound of his name from your mouth urged him to take a hold of your hips and drive his pulsating member further into your cunt. He felt your walls clenching around him when your body experienced the well awaited orgasm, quivering beneath him like. The sudden pressure added on to his cock made your boyfriend follow right after. The both of you were still riding your high when he lowered his torso on to your back, sweat slicked bodies on top of each other, you wondered what kind of face he would be making right about now. Hoping it wasn't one of disgust, you turned your face to the side, his endearing curls tickling your ears as he kept his nose buried in the nape of your neck.

There was a serene quality to the room where the two of you laid still until Sakusa got up abruptly, you knew that it was bath time even before he uttered anything.

" Let's eat", his soft voice seemed almost like a whisper which was confusing and astonishing at the same time when he tossed one towel to you and quickly wiped himself with the other.

Making quick work of the cleaning, you both went to the living room where you pulled out the bento box from your bag. It felt cold against your hand but this time it didn't make you sad because now you were sure that the person next to you wouldn't reject it.

Opening the box, you noticed they got a little crushed, probably because of you tossing your bag aside dejectedly when you first arrived, the previously well made onigiri lost their original shape but you hoped they tasted the same.

Gingerly showing him the box you thought about quickly explaining it's condition and telling him about how you made it in the most hygienic way possible for a human but the words died in your mouth when Sakusa briskly took one piece out and munched on the distorted rice ball. You watched him chew, waiting became too nerve-racking so you blurted, " How is it Kiyoomi?!", Talk about putting pressure on a guy but it didn't deter him from telling you the truth.

" It's good", the simple reply he gave was the best, you thought, his words were never grandiose, just to the point that's what made you believe them everytime he decides to be honest with you.

"Next time...", He mumbled in between his increasing breaths and tinted cheeks,"Lets make it together".

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