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writingforstraykids · 15 days

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I owe you a kiss - Pt.8

Pairing: Minchan x femReader (mention of Changlix)

Word Count: 3478

Summary: Three weeks later, you're still feeling left out. Your therapist suggests communicating your worries to your husbands, but this doesn't go as planned.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, angst, therapy, verbal fight, anxious!chan, min gets defensive

A/N: After part seven I thought I'd be done with one part more tops...well. Once more, there'll be another chapter after this. Ideas/wishes are always welcome, I'll see what I can include🤭🖤

PART SEVEN | PART NINE

Three weeks later

“And you still don't want your husbands there for the appointments?” your therapist asks kindly. She has been for weeks now.

“No,” you shake your head firmly.

“May I ask why?” she asks patiently.

“Minho has a lot to deal with on his own because he remembers…also, he hates hospitals,” you start and nervously fidget with your hands. “Chan is…different.”

“Different, how?” she responds with another question.

“Distant is the wrong expression by now. He's trying to show me how much he loves me, but I can tell when he gets overwhelmed. He's still figuring things out, finding his place back home,” you tell, and she nods along, taking some notes. “I just…It's not all bad. He gets enough sleep now, makes sure to eat enough, and takes care of himself. It's just so different from what I remember.”

“And Minho? Is he getting the help he needs?” she asks.

“Yes, he sees his therapist every two weeks. Weekly, if it's really bad, she always manages to squeeze him in,” you tell her. “He tries to hide it, but he still has nightmares. He's able to drive again if he has to, but he gets anxious easily.”

“And where does that leave you?” she asks patiently, nodding at the wooden board between the two of you. There's a figure for Chan and another for Minho, standing close next to each other. Behind them are several smaller figures in darker colors, symbolizing their fears and struggles. And there's you. Yours is smaller than theirs, standing further away as if you're facing them.

“Alone,” you say, swallowing hard as you notice the distance between the figures. You hadn't thought much about it putting them there but they're painting a clear picture.

“Are you?” she asks gently.

“Sometimes,” you nod. “I don't feel like it when I'm alone with one of them. But if it's all three of us…I feel like they don't need me,” you say and subconsciously fondle the tiny head of the figure behind you, symbolizing your negative thoughts.

“Do you want to change something?” she asks, picking up on it, and you set it between yours and the ones of your husbands. “Add anything?”

“I'm scared of losing them,” you say, and she nods at you, letting you choose another one. You put it next to the one you just moved.

“May I comment on something?” she asks, and you nod. “You put your husband's fears and struggles behind them. But yours are in front of you, forming a wall between you all. Why's that?”

“Uh…because they've communicated theirs openly with me and are working on them. I didn't tell them I'm scared to lose them or all of the other thoughts running through my head,” you admit.

“Mhm, so theirs are out in the open…why aren't yours?” she asks patiently, and you drop back into the comfortable chair.

“I don't know,” you confess. “Maybe because I feel like I can't put more on their shoulders.”

“What happened when Chan told you he's scared to push your boundaries? What happened when Minho panicked?” she asks, flashing you a kind smile.

“I comforted them, told them it's okay,” you say quietly.

“And what makes you fear they wouldn't do the same with you?” she asks, making you lower your head a little embarrassed.

“I don't know,” you admit quietly, feeling tears burn in your eyes. “I should tell them, right?”

She hums gently. “Communication seems to be very important to keep your relationship intact as you're all dealing with certain things.”

You're exhausted after your session, but you know you'd have to open up more about your own fears. You follow her outside into the waiting area to pay and frown as you see Chan talking to the receptionist. “Channie?” you ask, confused, and he looks up with a soft smile.

“Hey, baby girl,” he says sweetly. “I thought I'd come pick you up, I finished early today.”

“Oh,” you nod and open your handbag to get your wallet. Chan introduces himself to your therapist, a warm smile brightening up his gorgeous face. You take out your card, and Chan gently shoves it back inside.

“Already handled,” he tells you.

“What? Channie, I had to pay for the whole month today,” you protest.

“I know,” he nods and gently zips your handbag closed. “It's fine.”

“Thank you,” you nod gently, smiling as his hand finds yours.

“You got everything?” he asks, and after you nod, you two say goodbye. Once you're in the elevator, Chan pulls you into a strong hug and kisses your hair. “You look like you've been crying. Rough one?” he asks caringly.

“Yeah,” you nod, burying yourself in his warmth. “Thank you for picking me up, Channie angel.”

“Of course,” he tells you, rubbing your back.

As you lean into Chan's embrace, you're reminded of the session's revelations. His warmth is reassuring, and it pushes against the shadows of your own unspoken fears. You wonder how to begin sharing them with him, how to bridge the gap that your silence had unknowingly broadened. "I have a lot on my mind," you finally say, your voice muffled against his coat.

Chan's response is soft, filled with his sweet patience. "I'm here whenever you're ready to talk," he assures you, his hand steady on your back. The simplicity of his promise makes something within you ease slightly. Perhaps sharing your inner conflicts wouldn't be as horrible as you feared.

“Thank you,” you nod gently.

Chan leads you outside the building and to his car, your hand still in his. “I wanted to take you out for coffee, but would you rather go home? Whatever you say is fine, beautiful,” he assures you, and tears brim your eyes.

“Our favorite spot?” you ask gently.

Chan smiles sweetly, dimples showing. “Yeah,” he nods, giggling as your face lightens up.

“I would love to,” you tell him.

When you're back home, the atmosphere shifts as Minho greets you both from the sofa. His smile is shy, a reflection of his ongoing struggles, yet sincere. His eyes light up when he sees you. "Everything okay?" he asks, a subtle concern in his tone.

You nod, squeezing Chan's hand before letting go. "We need to talk, all of us," you say, surprising even yourself with the firmness in your voice. Minho's brow furrows slightly, but he nods, understanding the seriousness of your tone. He gestures towards the empty space next to him.

As you all sit down, the weight of the moment hangs heavily in the air. You take a deep breath, gathering the courage to be as open as possible. "I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed," you begin, your voice stronger than you feel. "Not by you two specifically, but by everything. The fears I've kept to myself are... they're getting heavy."

Chan reaches for your hand again, his touch a silent promise. Minho leans in, ready to listen, to help shoulder the burden you've carried alone for too long. You share your fears—of losing them, of not being enough, of the future that seems so uncertain sometimes. With each confession, the walls you built crumble.

“You know you can always come to us when those thoughts get too much to handle, yeah?” Chan asks gently.

“You're always there for us, honey, don't forget we're there for you too,” Minho adds agreeingly, gently rubbing your thigh.

“I know…A lot of it is in my head, but I miss you two,” you admit. “I can't even explain it, but I miss you so much, and I just wish everything would be normal again,” you say, tears brimming your eyes.

“Y/nnie,” Minho whispers and shakes his head, tears brimming his own eyes. “We have to work with what we got. A lot has happened, and we can't pretend it didn't. We have to find our new normal,” he tells you and timidly takes your hand.

“But we're always here, yeah? You're still our beautiful wife,” Chan chimes in.

“Well, then start acting like it!” you suddenly burst out, and seeing the hurt and confusion lacing their features you quickly get up. “Start acting like I'm your wife and not just your crush you hold hands with from time to time.”

“Seriously?” Minho asks dangerously low and Chan swallows, already fearing an outburst of both of you. “Tell me you're joking.”

“I'm not,” you snap at him. “Obviously, I'm not.”

“What the fuck do you need me to do then? What do I have to change, huh?” he snaps right back at you, getting up as well.

“Guys, please,” Chan tries gently, but you both ignore him.

“I don't know! But it feels like shit, I'm just some bystander to you two being all lovey-dovey all day!” you burst out.

“You’re pushing us away, you know that?” Minho retorts, his voice dripping with frustration and hurt. “You say you feel left out, but you've got walls so high, I need a damn ladder to get over them! Every time I try to initiate anything more than the crush behavior, as you put it, you back away.”

“I-” you start, but you can’t form any clear sentence in response. Minho is right, you’ve been denying him to go any further repeatedly.

Chan’s face grows pale, his eyes wide as he watches the confrontation unfold, seemingly frozen in place. “Can we... please not do this?” he stammers, his voice cracking under the strain. “This isn’t helping any of us.”

“You stay out of this!” Minho snaps, turning his glare briefly to Chan. The sharpness in Minho’s tone slices through the tension like a knife, leaving Chan blinking back tears, his hands shaking slightly as he tries to compose himself. “You don’t have to participate in this fight, but let me say my piece.”

“I’m trying to help!” Chan protests weakly, his voice trembling at the thought of you getting into a serious fight. Minho and you almost never fought, but if you did, it was always ugly, hurtful, and fucking loud. He didn’t like it before, but he could barely take it now, getting overwhelmed. “I don’t want to see us fall apart over misunderstandings and hurt feelings!”

“Well, it’s not just about feelings, Chan!” you shout, your voice breaking as the tears start to fall. “It’s about being seen and heard in this relationship. I feel invisible most days, like I’m just here to fill a space between the two of you! It’s like you don’t care about me.”

Minho blinks at you, and you can tell he needs a moment to process your words. Then he explodes. “If you really feel this way, if everything I do is that useless and meaningless…then I don't know what the fuck I'm still doing here!”

“Minho,” you whisper in shock, and Chan's tears fall freely now.

“Minho, please don’t say that,” Chan shakes his head, looking at him anxiously.

“No, seriously, fuck this. Fuck you,” he says harshly, and you know he's trying to cover his hurt with anger. “I don’t care about you, yeah sure,” he goes on. “I stayed by your bedside for weeks, praying that you’d wake up. I have done nothing but respect your boundaries, give you the time you need, and make sure you’re comfortable. What the fuck do you need me to do to think I actually give a fuck about you?!” he shouts at the top of his lungs, and it has both you and Chan flinching heavily. It’s rare he loses composure like this. He’s breathing heavily once he’s done, staring at you with fierce but such vulnerable eyes it makes you sick. He nods to himself as you don’t answer and grabs his phone from the sofa. “You don’t even know what you need. How the fuck am I supposed to, huh?”

“Min, please,” Chan whispers, sensing how hurt his husband truly is behind his mask of anger.

Minho’s expression softens for a moment, his anger faltering as he sees the tears streaming down his face. “I need a break,” he announces. “I’ll sleep in the guest room; I can’t do this right now.” He shakes his head and meets your eyes for a brief second. “Thanks for the talk,” he says sarcastically as you don’t respond to his prior statements.

You stand still for a second as he leaves before collecting your things as well.

“Y/nnie,” Chan tries weakly.

“Don’t,” you say sharply, shaking your head.

Chan flinches as the door to your bedroom slams closed and slumps onto the sofa, biting back a sob. He blindly reaches for his phone and blinks away tears to find his best friend’s number. Felix picks up after the second ring. “Lix, I-I know it’s late-,” he starts weakly.

“Where are you?” he asks worriedly at the distressed sound of his voice. “Do you need me to get you?” he asks, already getting up to search for his keys. His husband shoots him a questioning look, and Felix mouths Chan’s name. Changbin frowns worriedly, getting up as well and grabbing his keys.

“Can I stay at yours? Just for tonight?” he sniffles helplessly.

“Of course, Channie,” Felix says soothingly, slipping into his shoes. “You’re at home?” he asks carefully, leaving the house with Changbin right behind him.

“Yeah…home,” he says, choking on the word.

“We’ll be there in ten minutes, okay?” he asks gently, waiting for Chan’s quiet hum in response. “Deep breaths, Channie hyung, I’m sure whatever this is it can be fixed.”

“I’m not sure,” he answers shakily. “I’m really not.”

“They got into a fight?” he asks carefully, knowing how much it upset Chan.

“Yeah,” he whispers. “It was bad, Lix, really, really bad.”

“I’m sorry, Channie,” he says softly. Only a little later Chan meets them in front of the house and they pull him into a tight hug.

Changbin soothingly rubs his back. “Come on, Channie hyung, let's go,” he gently urges him to the car, handing him a tissue. “You can stay as long as you need to, okay?”

Chan nods and gets into the car, sinking into Felix's arms as the younger one sits down next to him. Felix gently rubs his shoulder and sighs. “It's gonna be okay, Channie.”

Three days later

Waking up, you notice Chan's side of the bed is still made, untouched from the night before. Minho is already downstairs, the clatter of dishes breaking the uncomfortable silence that had settled over the house. As you walk into the kitchen, Minho’s posture stiffens, his usually warm eyes clouded with frustration.

“Good morning,” you say hesitantly, your voice barely a whisper, hoping to ease into the morning peacefully.

Minho nods without meeting your eyes, continuing his task. “Morning,” he replies shortly.

“I was thinking we could all go out today, maybe get some fresh air together,” you suggest, trying to find a way to get you three to deal with what happened.

Minho pauses, placing a plate down a little too hard. “Chan isn’t feeling well,” he says shortly, finally looking up at you with a mix of irritation and exhaustion in his expression.

“Is it his headache again?”

“Probably,” Minho mutters, turning back to the dishes. “Or maybe it’s just an excuse.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, your voice rising slightly in concern.

Minho sighs, a long, tired exhale. “It means maybe he’s just avoiding us. Avoiding this,” he gestures vaguely between the two of you.

“Minho, that’s not fair. You know how much he’s been struggling with everything,” you counter, feeling your heart rate pick up as the beginnings of anger mix with your worry.

“And what about us?” Minho snaps, his composure breaking. “When do we get to talk about how this is affecting us? You’re so focused on Chan. What about me? What about what I need?”

The accusation hits hard, opening a floodgate of emotions you’d both been tiptoeing around. “I’m trying to be here for both of you and fix this!” you exclaim, frustration overtaking your initial intent to keep the peace.

“Well, maybe try a little harder because I don’t feel it!” Minho’s voice escalates, his tone harsher than you’ve ever heard.

“Guys? What’s going on?” Chan’s weak voice comes from the doorway. His usual bright eyes are dim and shadowed with pain.

You both turn, startled, as Chan leans against the frame, looking between you two with a growing sense of dread. “I just needed some air, that’s all,” he murmurs, clearly caught off-guard by the newly thickened tension.

Minho’s expression softens slightly at the sight of Chan, but his frustration is far from appeased. “We’re just talking,” he says, though his voice suggests it was anything but a simple conversation.

Chan glances at you, his eyes searching for an ally. “It doesn’t sound like talking,” he comments softly, his tone hurt.

“You wouldn’t know; you’ve been avoiding us!” Minho’s outburst swiftly redirects the tension back to Chan.

“That’s not fair, Min,” Chan protests, his voice weak but filled with hurt. “I’m just trying not to make things worse.”

“By not talking? By hiding away?” Minho counters, his voice laced with bitterness.

“Enough!” you finally shout, unable to bear it anymore. “This isn’t helping anyone. We’re supposed to be in this together.” Both fall silent, the echo of your shout hanging between you. The air is thick with unsaid things, each of you caught in your own thoughts. “We need to fix this,” you say finally. “We can’t go on like this.”

Chan nods, looking exhausted. “I know,” he agrees quietly.

Minho doesn’t speak; his jaw clenches as he wrestles with his emotions, but his nod is agreement enough. You all sit down at the dinner table, facing each other.

Chan’s voice is gentle as he suggests, “Let’s each say something we feel without interruptions. Just listen to each other. Really listen.”

You nod, taking a deep breath. “I feel overlooked,” you begin, the words raw but necessary.

“I feel helpless,” Minho adds, his voice thick.

“I’m afraid of losing you both,” Chan admits, his eyes glossy with unshed tears.

The room grows silent as each confession hangs in the air. You all look at each other, the vulnerability shared creating a bridge that had been missing in the chaos of your misunderstandings.

Chan reaches across the table, his fingers brushing against yours. "I'm sorry," he says, his voice steady despite the emotion. "I’ve been so wrapped up in my own shit that I didn’t see how isolated you felt."

Minho exhales deeply, the tension easing from his shoulders as he acknowledges Chan's words. "And I... I've been so focused on not falling apart myself that I forgot to make sure we're all okay," he admits, his gaze shifting between you and Chan, a silent plea for forgiveness in his eyes.

It's your turn to respond, the atmosphere allowing for more open and heartfelt communication. "I've been afraid of burdening you both with my fears," you say, the admission freeing in its own way. "But I see now that keeping them to myself only creates more distance. I need to share more, not less," you continue, feeling a bit lighter with each word. "I need us to really be in this together."

Minho's hand finds yours, squeezing gently. "I've been scared," he admits, his voice cracking slightly. "Scared that pushing too hard or not enough could end up driving you away. But I see now that not communicating is just as damaging."

Chan, still visibly shaken but slowly regaining his composure, adds, "I thought I was protecting you both from my issues, but I was just isolating myself further. I promise to be more present, even when it's hard."

The conversation turns into a lengthy discussion in which each of you takes turns expressing thoughts and emotions that had been buried under daily routines and misunderstandings. It’s not just about voicing grievances; it’s about rediscovering each other's needs and reassessing how to support each other better.

Chan proposes a weekly check-in, a safe space where anything can be discussed without judgment, ensuring that no concern is too small or too trivial to be voiced. Minho suggests more one-on-one time with each of you to strengthen individual bonds that contribute to the health of the collective relationship.

In the following weeks, the impact of that conversation becomes evident. Slowly, the dynamics in your household start to shift. There's a newfound gentleness in your interactions, a deeper consideration for each other's mental spaces, and an active effort to engage without overwhelming one another.

Feeling less isolated, you find the courage to share your smaller daily fears and joys, discovering that these moments of sharing contribute significantly to your feeling of closeness with your husbands.

In a relationship as complex and intertwined as yours, challenges are inevitable.

PART SEVEN | PART NINE

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

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mastermindmiko · 7 months

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Tensions

Pairing: Oliver Wood + gn!reader

Summary: the quidditch House cup final is close and tensions are high. To some more than others, so you help.

Warnings: growing up? Worrying. Thats it I believe

Requests are open!

Hey! If you think this didn't completely suck, feel free to check out my masterlist

"You better get up right now or I will smack you!"

"Fine. Fine. I'm going." I say, sitting up groggily as I rub my sleepy eyes. My roommates are glaring at me, and I huff as I look at the clock noticing how it's past midnight. The shouting continues and my roommate looks and me and goed, " Get up now."

I groan as I pull off the warm sheets from my bare legs and wear by fuzzy slippers. I grab a coat and wrap it around my body as tightly as I can. I can't deal with this today is the only thing I can think of as I hear the shouting begin to get accompanied with knocks or should I say slams.

I'm in the common room and I glare at him as hard as I can. He smiles sheepishly and grabs my hand. He's wearing his quidditch uniform, why is he always wearing his quidditch uniform?

"Oliver, no! It's past curfew and I want to sleep." I huff as he starts leading me to the common room door. He grins and opens the portrait. He looks at the fat lady and says, "Don't worry. No one will know, and the fat lady won't tell. Will you?"

"Of course not, Wood, as long as you bring the house cup this year!" The fat lady says with a smile as she looks at him. He gives her a weary smile then continues to walk. They hadn't won the cup since Charlie was captain, and this year they're the closest they've been since.

I would wonder where I'm being taken but knowing my best friend long enough I already know. Its even colder outside the castle. The stands are higher up in the air and it feels like I'm getting closer to the north pole. I shiver and I say, "don't you think we spend enough time here without coming after hours."

The quidditch pitch, the place where I'm certain Oliver spends more time in than classes practicing and I stay there watching him practice with a good book in my hands, only every once in a while giving him a thumbs up in encouragement. I don't really understand the game.

We reach the gryffindor stands and we sit in the middle, the best place to be if there was a match going on, but there wasn't. He sits down beside me and he would normally be going on about quidditch tactics and I would nod along like I understand anything that's going on when I don't. Today wasn't a normal day though.

"What's wrong?" I say, worried. I place ny hand on his shoulder. I feel like we worry about too many things this year, sirius black has escaped, our newts, the cup, graduating and jobs, it was all so new and scary. I was terrified and even more terrified that I would leave hogwarts without telling Oliver how I feel.

I have no doubt that he will go on to be in a big quidditch team, but how was I supposed to keep being best friends with a guy that was away all the time.

"Tomorrow's the match." Oliver says, and I can see him frown. Ah, yes. The match, the biggest match of his life, the big kahuna, the house cup final. He's been thinking about the day he won the final as captain ever since he was old enough to think about quidditch and by knowing Oliver, probably 2 years old.

Everyone has been building this big weight on his shoulders this year, even professor Mcgonagall, and even though I know they have good intentions, I think it's finally got to him.

"You're going to do great because no one's worked harder than you have. No team has had more 5 am practices than you, so I have faith that you're going to do amazing." I try to reassure him

"What happens if I get knocked out? There'll be scouts there!" Oliver panics, and I turn him to face me. I say, " I know that you want to be in puddlemore united, but if the scouts tomorrow can't notice how great you are at quidditch then I'm sure another team, just as great, will, so don't stress about it, and go get some sleep, you can't play, if you can't keep your eyes open."

I finish my speech with a large exhale and Oliver is finally grinning again. I feel the butterflies in my stomach erupt, and I grin back at him. I hold his hand and I stand up while tugging him with me. I say, "Come on."

He stands up and tugs me instead. I'm close to his chest, and he grabs my other hand. He looks at our intertwined hands and then looks back at me to say, "thank you."

"I'm only saying the truth Oliver, you're a great player." I say with a smile, encouraging him, though he could be a shit player and I wouldn't know really.

"It wouldn't hurt to be extra safe..." He trails off as he looks down at my lips and I start to panic instead of him this time. Was this finally it? I feel adrenaline course through my veins in anticipation and my stomach does cartwheels.

He presses his soft hips to mine, I let him. I press my lips harder against him, and sigh, happily. He squeezes my hands, and I feel him grin against my lips. He drops one of my hands to cup my face and pull me closer.

We part when I can't deny my body of oxygen anymore and I smile. The blush on my face is evident and I can't help but feel a slight embarrassment. I ask, "what was that?"

"A good luck kiss, and if you don't mind, I think I'm going to be having a lot more of them." Oliver smiles and wraps his arms around my waist. I, in turn, wrap my hands around his neck and I can't help but beam, "No, I wouldn't mind at all."

He kisses me again.

An: I think I'm starting to like writing small one shots, what do we think about that? I think that they're cute and small which makes me able to write them faster and hence post more. Also, I Imagines the GIF, that's up before the cut as the way oliver looks at reader's lips before kissing them.

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gauloiseblue · 26 days

Text

A Loyal Dog

Years of dealing with people, he too has developed some kind of intuition. Although it's more about who he can trust, and who is not

But in this case, he can sense a strange devotion from the gardener

He knew people who had blind faith in someone, just like him. And they're both the most submissive, and the most ruthless people he ever met. They're docile when it comes to the person they trust, but when it threatens the person's safety, they won't hesitate to bite

The boy's behavior might be normal for now, but he just feels it in his gut that it's more than that

He mentions the boy to Liv, and she immediately laughs

"Oh, that sweet boy." She chuckles, "He follows her around like a dog. He'd pick the loveliest flowers for her everyday, and she'd tell him to put it in the vase. It's a bit sad that they don't do that anymore, I guess she too keeps him at a distance now."

He learns that they both were close, before the words started to spread. Liv describes that she thought of him as a son, but he didn't seem to think of her as a mother figure

"I told this to her, and do you know what she said? She said, 'I'm glad then, it means he has a loving mother.' I mean, I get it, but he can take it in the wrong way, you know?" She groans, "Not to mention that he already took interest in her long he started working for her."

He raises his brow at her, "Really?"

"Yeah, well, I'm not sure when it started, but his uncle sells gardening tools. She's a frequent in his store before he took care of everything. You said that one day he suddenly knocked on her door right? Maybe he knew her from his uncle."

After his conversation with the baker, his perception of her changes slightly. There's a lot of people who prefers younger people, and it's possible that she's one of them. The distance that they put is just a facade, because behind all that, they do have a feeling for the person. If she's one of them, he won't know what to think of her

Perhaps the reason for it is just because he likes her, and he wants it to be yet another puzzle to solve. That the complexity of her feeling isn't about love, but something else entirely

Nevertheless, he keeps a good relation with her

Sometimes he dares himself to take her out, or simply hanging out in her place

She seems to enjoy his company as well, for a reason that he can match her witty remarks

Maybe it's a privilege to be in their late 40s, where they can be as free as they want, and not hiding anything from each other, knowing that they'll find it one way or the other

He doesn't hide his interest in her, and she doesn't shy away from it, so it's no surprise when they become close in relatively short time

"There'll be a festival next week," He told her one afternoon, "Do you wanna come?"

She pauses, idly traces the rim of her mug with her finger, "Sure, I want to. But Finn has asked me to come too, and I said no."

"Are you afraid that you'll run into him?"

"A little bit." She sighs, "He has a habit of dragging people along, I don't want to walk with him in the crowd."

"You can use me as an excuse." He smiles, "I won't let go of your hand."

She laughs, "You better hold it tight, then." She hums, placing her chin on her palm, "Let's just hope Bonnie sees him first, she won't let go of that boy's hand for sure."

"Bonnie? The carpenter's daughter?"

She nods, "She likes him, so she won't pass up a chance to explore the festival with him."

They both agree on the plan to wall together to the festival, and stay in the adult only place, which is an open bar with a poker table. They jokingly make a bet on whoever wins the most money, with the prize of whatever the winner wants

On the day the festival is held, they both meet up at her place, before heading to the town

It's a common festival, with food stalls and other items being sold at cheaper prices. She can't resist the discounted grapes, and ends up buying a basket's worth of it

Unfortunately, they both meet Finn before Bonnie could find him, and so they play the adult-only card

"I'm not a kid anymore, Mrs. (name), I can handle the alcohol."

"But you can't come with us, we're going to the gambling table."

"I'll stay at the bar—"

"No." She said sternly, "It's not your place to be in. I won't allow it. If I see you anywhere near the bar, I'll tell your parents."

It seems to have an effect on him, as he falls quiet. She keeps the stern expression on her, before she softens up and pats on his head

"Enjoy the festival with the other kids, Finn. I'm sure you'll have more fun with them."

His face shows a disagreement for a split second, but he nods afterwards

He pats on his arm to cheer him up, before they both leave him, all alone in the crowd. He does feel bad for the kid, but the feeling doesn't stay for too long

When they join the poker table, the people around them seem surprised, but excited to see a new face in the game. Though it's mostly aimed at the woman beside him

As they agreed on, they'll only play for 2 hours, with £20 as the start

The thing about him is that he always wins at every poker game, but only when his opponents are men. He manages to outplay the other players until they fold and out, except for her

Still, there's people who dares to challenge her. They'd put their money on the table, and play against them both. But little do they know, they're the fool one on the table

They end up playing for more than 2 hours, and he begins to get tipsy from the beer he's been drinking. It's when he blunders by putting all in

Turns out, she has a 4 of a kind, while he just has a full house king

That's when she grins at him, signaling that the game's over

"Alright gentlemen." She announced as she stood up, "Thank you for the game, it was fun. I know you probably want me to go all in and give it to whoever's the luckiest, but I'll treat you all to a glass of beer, yeah? Sounds good?"

Almost everyone around the table agrees, with a few cheers and claps

After going through the rowdy crowd, they both manage to make it out of the festival, giggling and waking fast on the road

At her home, he sinks into the sofa as the wearin begins to settle. She slips into the kitchen with the basket, and comes back with a whiskey and two glass shots

He groans, "I had enough, I can't drink anymore."

"I'm not forcing you to drink." She said as she sat down, "We're just gonna play a game."

"What game?"

"Truth or drink." She grins, "If you don't wanna get drunk, you should tell the truth."

He snorts, but straightens his back to join the game

"I'll go first." She said, "Do you have kids, John?"

He shook his head, "Didn't have the time for it, and we ended up splitting. Have you been married to someone?"

"No, I didn't have the time for it." She said, which made him chuckle, "Why did you move to this town?"

"A friend of mine once told me about this village, it sounded good, and the land's cheap as well, so," He shrugs, "Why did you come here?"

"To escape from the big city." She replied, "Where's your friend now, John?"

He doesn't want to answer it, so he takes a shot. "Are you an artist, name? A big time artist perhaps?"

Now it's her turn to drink her shot. "Do you plan to move again someday?"

"No, at least not yet. Liked it here." He answered, "What do you think of Finn? Do you know he likes you in a romantic way?"

"One question at a time." She said, "I think he's a good boy, a bit naive though. What have you been talking to Liv about me?"

"Nothing much, just the basic stuff." He clears his throat, "What were you like when you first moved, your entire history with Liv, and then Finn. Do you know he likes you in a romantic way?"

She sighs as she scratches her head, "I know… I wish he'd see me like a mother, or a generous aunt, I don't mind, but then again, we always search for something we can't have, aren't we?" She shook her head, "Do you dislike him, John?"

"Not at all." He smiles, "I have no reason to dislike him, he's a good kid." He then lifts his gaze to her, "What do you think of me, (name)?"

She fell quiet for a second, before she told him, "I think you're just like me. We've been running from the past, until we forgot how to stop running. What do you think of me?"

"I think you're lovely." He replied, "You're like a pretty puzzle that I'd like to solve over and over again, something that I'd like to keep in my pocket, so I could unravel you whenever I wanted."

The alcohol in his blood begins to work, as he gets enough courage to lean closer, reaching out to touch her cheek

She doesn't pull away, but doesn't move either, instead, she asks him, "Do you like me, John?"

"One question at a time." He retorted, "Would you allow me to kiss you?"

To his disappointment, she prefers to take a shot than giving him an answer

"Well, let me ask you again, John. Do you like me?"

"Do I look like someone who'd kiss anyone I didn't like?"

"No, you don't." She lets out a chuckle, "Say, if I were to go to Italy, would you come with me?"

He snaps his head towards her, not prepared for the question. "... What?"

"Do you wanna go to Italy with me, John?"

"I already heard that." He tilted his head, "What's the occasion?"

"I won the bet, didn't I?"

"Oh… that." He rubs his face to sober up, "You're telling me you want to go to Italy with me as the prize?"

She nods, "I always want to travel the world with a partner, and I'd like to know if you're qualified for it."

"All expenses paid?" He jests, but she nods nevertheless, "What if I end up disappointing you?"

"Then I'll stay here for the rest of my life."

He can't help but grin. "It's a big commitment, y'know."

"Didn't you say you want to keep me in your pocket?"

"Won't it be suffocating for you?"

"That's what I asked." She tugs her lips slightly, "Suffocate me, John."

Her hand reached up to touch his, it was cold, pleasantly cold against his skin. His face heated up, as if he's been kissed, but what she gave him was sweeter than a kiss. It was indeed sweeter….

《 Prev | Next 》

#cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #captain price #john price x reader #price x reader

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karenandhenwillson · 1 month

Text

The usual aftermath

Right now, the people who started this are experiencing backlash. Dealing with public posts condemning their behavior in sometimes not very polite way and dealing with anon messages. I can't say I have much sympathy for them.

As already said, they have stated several times that they don't think a call out post is bullying. But the thing is, you can't control what the mob will do with your words, your anger, your outrage. They'll run with it and they'll hurt people.

A friend brought up a good comparison: Imagine a person pulls the fire alarm in a busy building as a prank. Maybe a mall or a big business building. There is no fire, but no one knows that. There'll most likely be a panic, there will be chaos—and among all of that there will be property damage and the busier the building the more likely there will be injuries or even people dying. The person who pulled that fire alarm as a prank will be held accountable for paying the first responders who were deployed because of the alarm as well as any damage done during that panic in most countries, I'm aware of even if they never even saw the people who got hurt or who actually did any of the property damage.

Your call out post is you pulling the fire alarm. You are culpable for anything that happens afterwards, even if you have no chance from the very beginning to control the crowd.

Me saying "You brought this onto yourself" does in no way mean "I agree or support this behavior". I did repost some things on Tuesday, one of them has a phrase used in it that when I first read it, I only found it amusing and kind of fitting. I have in the meantime read a post by one of the people addressed by that phrase that's making me think a little differently about it.

As communication has been one of the things that's just completely lacking in this situation, I'll not just vague post about this one thing. The phrase goes along the lines of "the white women who started this and their token POC so they can claim they talked with POC about their accusations first".

I completely understand why any person who'd have to feel addressed by the word "token" feels hurt by it, probably horribly hurt. I've added to the tags on my reblog of this post to state I don't agree with that specific phrasing but still with the overall message. It's not a phrase I'd adopt personally, not even before I saw the thoughts shared by one of the people addressed by it.

There is a but, though. And that but is the situation as it openly presents itself to everyone who is not part of the group who created the call out posts about the artist. As far as I know there were three of them. And one person talking to the artist privately but also commenting openly on one of their posts before the call out posts. All four of these people have stated to be White at one point or another. So what everyone seeing the call outs could see was four White people attacking an artist who turned out to be Korean.

The same people who loudly shouted into the fandom they wanted to make the fandom safe for POC were in the process of that "protection" attacking a POC. Whatever might have been said or might have happened in private in some DMs or on a Discord server, no one seeing the call out posts has any chance to know about it. So no one seeing them cold see POC raising some concerns and their friends supporting them even if that might have happened somewhere in the background.

So when I read the above mentioned phrase first, I found it fitting because all we had seen at this point were some White people harassing a POC, trying to lecture that POC about how they were allowed to perceive the coloring of the skin of their own race, and claiming there were POC voices in the background but no one could really be sure about it. It was an instance of me not taking the time to think about the people on the other side of the comment, which very clearly was a mistake.

I talked with someone involved in this whole debate about the uncertainty of how to support POC voices, of elevating their voices, without stepping out of our lane. A couple years ago I talked with some POC RL friends about this. After very long consideration and calling one of them earlier, I've decided to share what they told me:

Elevating POC voices means being at their side when they speak up. Sometimes that just means literally standing beside them giving whatever physical comfort they are comfortable with while they voice their protest. Sometimes that means listening to their (open) protest and then taking those words and expanding them, building on them. It doesn't mean speaking up when they don't feel like speaking up for any reason (of which there can be many, speaking up is exhausting). It doesn't mean taking their privately shared words and carrying them forward in an attempt to fight their battle for them. Especially not if they don't feel to be in a place to fight any battle at all.

I'm aware that's the opinion of a very small group of people compared to the world. But it's what my friends told me they wished how I and others would act with and for them. So, I'm living by it. And I’m trying to do it with everyone, no matter their race. I believe that me not deleting my reblog but adding a tag pointing out that this phrase is not okay is living by it, is carrying forward the openly shared words of a person who got hurt.

I very much hope this situation will die down now. And that maybe at least some people on both sides will learn from it. My DMs are open. I've not blocked a single person so feel free to write me. I'm of course reserving the right not to response if I get the impression you are coming at me in bad faith or if your tone is disrespectful. I'll not be answering any asks about this topic. That wouldn't be helpful in giving this situation a rest.

#911 abc #911

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princessozera · 2 years

Text

On Love and Immortality (Asmodeus)

A/N: Second submission to @ boozye 's request: how would the OM characters react to MC not wanting immortality?

They/ Them used (3rd ppov)

Word Count: 1.4 k

"That's... well, it sounds pretty fucking stupid." Asmo tends to reserve the insults for his brothers, but since they've started dating, he's honest with MC and right now it's no different. " Have you really thought this through?"

" Yes, I have." MC's fingers twitch at being called stupid, but it can't devolve into a fight right now, this conversation had to happen sooner or later. "There's no nice way to say this but I need to know there's an end. I'm not even old but I feel so tired." Mc rubs their hands across their face, getting a little too honest with that 'tired'. "I love you, Asmodeus. You're one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I'm so grateful to have met you-"

"You keep saying that," Asmo cuts MC off, " but I can't help but feel that you're trying to abandon me." He pulls away from them, but is still seated on the couch. Anyone who walks in would think they're being lovey dovey as usual on the couch, despite the resentment and betrayal starting to leak into the room. "If you don't want to date me anymore you can-"

"Asmodeus!"

He takes a deep breath. Right.

Assuming.

"Then when does this end?" He looks them in the eye and now it's MC's turn to pull back. "Do we keep dating until I watch you become old and frail? You'll still be beautiful to me, and I will still love you, but do you really expect me to just let you go without a fight?"

"OR!-" he's on a roll now, increasingly agitated, "would you even be able to deal with gossip? I don't care if they call me a gold digger or a whore or whatever for being with an 'old person', but are YOU going to be able to ignore it? Or, are we just going to keep playing coy, ignoring the problem until one day you just stop texting back and Lucifer has to tell me that none of us are allowed to see you anymore? That it's not 'the natural way' and there'll come a time that we just have to let you live your life without us?"

"Asmo-" Mc's voice comes out a bit shaky, through grit teeth, and Asmo's attention snaps back to them. "You're hurting me."

Asmo looks down and sure enough, MC's hand is a dark purple, his own hand cutting off their circulation at the wrist. He pulls back, and MC exhales, rubbing their wrist. Asmo shakes his hands off- he's too warm. Too worked up and in the worst way possible.

"We can't-let's talk later." He's already making a beeline for the door, "Maybe my brothers should also be-"

"Asmo," MC catches him at the door, taking his shaky hand into theirs. He doesn't pull away and lets them lead him back to the couch. "This needs to be just between us. Do you need a minute?"

Asmo nods and MC goes to grab him a cup of water. He doesn't trust himself to be so close to MC again and instead takes a seat across from them on the couple's couch, pulling and squeezing at a decorative pillow. The few minutes of quiet do little to soothe Asmo, and the longer he had to wallow in the thought of MC leaving him, of being forced to love them from afar and watch them live with another person made him sick. He'd be lying if he said a bit of the resentment wasn't directly against himself- how had he of all people fallen for someone? He knew that if they broke up, he'd spend the rest of his days trying and failing to find a replacement for MC.

They continue their talk like this, just to be safe. MC with their legs pulled up on the couch, adjusting the ice pack on their wrist when they wanted to think over their answers. Asmo on his couch, trying to keep his reactions under control, pulling and twisting at the pillow in his lap when he'd rather be crushing MC with a hug and peppering kisses on to their face. Anything to end the conversation.

Both talking, neither quite listening.

"Asmo," MC sighs. "What do you want me to say? We can't just go back to ignoring this."

"I don't know. That you love me. That you won't leave me."

"I can't promise that."

"Then, could you at least think it over again?" Asmo doesn't look at them, " maybe you're just scared. I know humans like to joke about turning into vampires, heroes, and being immortal but this is the first time your choice means something to someone. The first time this choice has some weight to it, and that can be super overwhelming. Even if you’ve thought about it since entering the program, that's only what, a bit over 2 years?”

Asmo takes a deep breath and looks at MC, crossing the room to take their hands. “ Immortality won’t be smooth, I’m not going to sell it like a perfect fairy tale. But you’re always going to have us! Me and my brothers, Lord-”

“And what about MY family Asmo? I have family in the human realm- friends!” MC shakes Asmo’s arms around, as if understanding would just wiggle into him. “ You said maybe I’d have to leave you to live my life- if I turned immortal tomorrow I’d have to leave them even sooner because they’d notice I don’t age!”

“Then turn later! Older people are sexy too! I was once with a 9-” Asmo stops to duck under MC’s pillow toss. “Bad way to phrase it. All I’m trying to say is that you don’t have to decide right now, or even next week. Could you give me 2 years? You can ask me any question you want, throw a million hypothetical situations my way, and if in 2 years you still don’t want to be immortal, I’ll accept it.”

MC stays quiet for a moment, playing with Asmo’s hands. “... Yeah, I can do 2 years.” They nod and Asmo collapses on top of them in relief.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!” Asmo hugs them close, leaning his head into their neck. “No more dark topics for today, please? Let’s just stay inside and watch a movie or something.” All too eager to change the subject, MC let’s Asmo cuddle them and pulls out their phone, ordering enough food and snacks for a movie marathon.

Asmo never brought it up again, but MC stayed true to their world. It definitely dulled some brighter moments- contemplating their own mortality during a party or stilled by the thought of losing so many close friends all at once, but MC put genuine thought and consideration into the proposition. Being sent back to the human realm was the best time for them to mull things over- it seems the others caught wind of the conversation and for a few months at least, leaned in pretty heavily to hangouts and other ways to show MC they were loved. Truthfully, it muddled their resolve a bit. The attention could be suffocating for sure, MC would rather die than attend RAD for 1000s of years, and there was some serious concern about their personality changing if consequences were nonexistent, but there was comfort in familiarity. Even the chaos and antics happened with predictable regularity and it was almost always a nice surprise- even if exhausting. Being back home in the human realm, spending time with the others they cared about, cleared their mind. Even when illness and misfortune fell on them, MC knew that their life wasn’t meant to be filled with magical charms and funny spells- much less for millions of years.

So when the day came, 2 years to the minute (Asmo had made sure to set an alarm), the answer had not changed. He isn’t stupid, he saw the calm resolve in MC’s eyes the last time he came to the human realm for a surprise visit. Now, although he had tears in his eyes, Asmo stayed true to his word and accepted MC’s wishes gracefully. MC’s also given thought to his other questions; how long could Asmo stay in their life? Will there be a set date they have to say goodbye or how do they expect to be together until MC’s end? Asmo would rather wait another 10 years to know these answers, but MC had listened to his request, so this was the least he could do. MC sat with their back against Asmo’s chest and he held them like this for hours as they talked about where to go from here.

#obey me shall we date #obey me asmodeus #om asmo #om asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me asmo x mc

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jackiebrackettt · 1 year

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okay i wanted to talk a little about vyncent and dakota's deal/convo with each other in ep 18. this will be really rambley sorry i am tired.

i feel like dakota's being a little misinterpreted which makes sense because like.. vyncent's most likely trying to cover himself. he feels like there'll be situations where he might have to kill someone and doesn't want for it to ruin their friendship if he does. also the whole situation with the lich like tbh if it wouldn't cause absolute chaos for the laws and human rights on prime i'd hand him a weapon to kill the lich myself ^_^

i think what dakota's trying to say with the "there's always a choice" thing is that he doesn't think it's a good idea to go into a fight convinced you'll kill someone if needed. because then it's a lot more likely you'll do that rather than trying to find another way around it. like.. if you can kill someone you could probably knock them out instead right? arguably a ranged weapon does make this more difficult but that's kinda the point - if you go into a fight with your last resort being killing when things go bad, then you're not really going to look for ways to Avoid killing someone -> both in training and the fight itself (rest under cut)

this is especially important i think in a season where the main antagonists are people who are possessed. sure, it's fine for them now because they know the villains are possessed so they know to subdue them and exorcise them. but that's not always going to be the case. you're not always going to know immediately in a fight if the person you're fighting is willingly making these actions. so if you go into the fight with the intent to kill if things get bad enough, you could hurt innocent people in the crossfire simply because you didn't know that they weren't actually in control of their actions. like.. think about le frog at the start of the season. if the police/whoever had the legal right to kill him because he was posing a threat he'd be dead. but he was just possessed. he's fine now that the demon is gone - but they wouldn't have known that because he'd be dead

anyway ultimately i don't think dakota's views here are black and white - as much as they usually at least. you can especially see this in the actual wording of the deal: (not verbatim in terms of pauses, verbatim in terms of words)

"if the lich gets depowered and he becomes a normal guy, or whatever - or he just can't hurt anyone anymore - then you have to promise me, no matter what, whatever the situation is, you'll at least try to give people a chance, okay? at least think of anything else. if you have a choice, alright? and if you don't, i'll believe you but at least try, okay?"

"it's those situations where i don't have a choice that i'm talking about, though, dakota."

"well, yeah, i just mean that you'll promise me to at least try to have a choice in those situations."

like "and if you don't, i'll believe you but at least try, okay?" he's not contradicting himself or presenting like.. a paradox. i think he's just asking for vyncent not to go into a fight with killing as a last resort in mind because if push comes to shove it will be used a lot sooner than as a last resort. like.. you have to try. there's always a choice. and sometimes you try everything and have to choose to kill someone. and dakota trusts that vyncent will make the right choice but only if he knows vyncent was looking for those other options first

that being said, again - it makes sense why vyncent's hesitant about making that promise. especially with the context of the lich - that guy ruined his homeworld intentionally. he doesn't feel bad about it and he'd do it again if given the opportunity. vyncent's coming at it from an ends justify the means pov - ends: no one else dies if he escapes because he can't escape, means: kill someone. it's just unfortunately a very slippery slope. (but, you know, if the lich escapes again i'll certainly look the other way if he gets killed)

anywayy to sum up: dakota isn't necessarily asking for vyncent to never kill anyone ever he's just asking for vyncent to put "killing people" out of his mind when fighting because that will be his go to action if things get bad instead of taking a moment to try and find a better way. like, you know, what happens if the trickster gets them in a bad position and is about to kill one of the others? is vyncent going to kill him, knowing it would probably kill ashe too? or is it different now because he knows the victim underneath. who knows! it'll be an interesting (and devastating) scenario to see maybe

but the point is: there's always a choice, even if your choice is to kill the villain. if you think there will be scenarios where there isn't a choice, then you'll likely find yourself in those scenarios a lot more than necessary because you're not as likely to look for other options. i think that's what dakota's trying to say - could be wrong though lol

#jrwi prime defenders #jrwi pd spoilers #dakota cole #vyncent sol #kinda nervous posting this so uhhh lmk what u guys think o(-(

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maple-the-awesome · 1 year

Text

We'll Meet Again...I Know When || Chapter 11

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x GN Reader

Words: 3,672

Overview: Given your old-fashioned personality and obsession with all things 1940s to 1980s, it’s no wonder that most people refer to you as an ‘old soul’ who would’ve rather lived back then than in the modern era. Little do they know, you already did, but with your previous life as Hollie Stark cut short, you’ve been left with some…unfinished business, to say the least. Top of your list? Finally getting to marry your thought-to-be-lost fiancé.

Series Masterlist 🤎 Marvel Masterlist 🤎 Fandom Masterlist

CHAPTER ELEVEN: LIKE THE GOOD O' DAYS

Like an animal returning from hibernation, you've become considerably more energetic as the winter begins drawing to a close. The idea of warmer weather, even if just a small improvement from what you've been seeing, has made the idea of leaving the apartment far less bothersome, therefore much to Bucky's joy, you've finally agreed to visit Old Town with him.

Going to the historical neighborhood in Bucharest has been on your roommate's mind for a while now. He had first been informed of its existence while helping your elderly neighbor, Rosetta, bring groceries up to her apartment as he normally does every Monday. She made the designation sound so interesting and given Bucky's wonder, you happily agreed to go sometime.

Of course, that was a week or two before the first snowfall. Now, you love Bucky with all your heart- enough to remember him in a completely new life even - but enough to trek through mounds of freezing snow just to see some old buildings? If you wanted to look at something old and beautiful, you'd just stare at him all day; no risk of hyperthermia needed!

Honestly, you would've toughened up and gone for the hike if it made Bucky happy, but perhaps taking pity upon you, he decided to bless you with a compromise to wait for warmer weather. Seeing that the streets are no longer buried in slippery snow or splashy slush, it's a perfect time to make good on that deal.

Armed with an oversized coat, hat, scarf, and mittens, you're fully equipped for the chill which still holds a tight grasp over the air unfortunately. Even Bucky wears several layers of clothing topped with his own coat, although it isn't that much compared to what everyone else is wearing. Then again, the man's built like a brick wall; you doubt much wind gets passed those muscles.

"So, what's on the itinerary today, Barnes? I'm assuming you've got the whole day planned for us, right?" Despite your mouth being covered by your scarf, your breath is visible in the air for each spoken word and Jack Frost is already nipping at your nose.

While this trip had been his idea, Bucky didn't expect to be in charge of plans since you've normally got that part covered yourself, so hiding his panic, he suggests quickly," let's just walk around, 'look at some of the buildings and see if anything interests us along the way."

"Fine by me!" Fortunately for him, you hold no objections, continuing to cheerfully skip along his side.

Bucky tilts his head, holding a thought on the tip of his tongue for a moment before finally daring to speak it,"...can we also check out some of those souvenir shops Rosetta suggested?"

You mock a pout, embracing his arm in yours and giving it a playful tug," oh, I don't know. She said they have a lot of old stuff in there. I would hate for anyone to try stealing you away from me now."

He rolls his eyes," I'm sure you won't have to worry about that."

"Hopefully not or else there'll be a fight! But just to be sure~!"

Bucky stops when you suddenly jump in front of him, holding out your mittened hand high into the air near his face. All the while you wear an impish grin that peeks out from behind your scarf, one that promises only mischief yet that familiar glossy shine in your eyes promises something else entirely; something much softer and genuine.

"Hold my hand."

"Hold...your hand?" For a split second, he almost obeys without another thought. His right hand reaches out as if attached to a magnet being pulled towards yours, however it hesitates midair once he gains control of his senses again.

"Your hearing hasn't gone out yet, that's good," you smirk, blowing air from your nose," yes, I want you to hold my hand."

"Why?"

'Damn, why does he always have to make such simple things so difficult?'

"Because my hand is cold, I don't want you to get lost out here, and I just want to hold your hand. It's been a while anyways," far too long.

Bucky glances at your hand which makes a childish grabby motion, hopeful he'll take the bait for once, but instead, he walks right past you, his hands remaining stuffed inside his pockets as they have been since leaving the apartment.

Frowning, you let your hand fall back to your side in disappointment, yet you would've accepted this defeat without voiced complaint if not for Bucky's hand suddenly clenching yours before beginning to tug you along behind him.

It's a delicate grip, one you can't realistically call a grip at all given how easily you could just slip your hand away, although you know him well enough to understand what it means: the poor thing's afraid of somehow harming you.

Sneaking a curious glance at his face, you notice the hint of red brushing his cheeks which he fruitlessly attempts to hide by the shadow of his tilted hat...Cute.

Walking on your own, you nestle yourself against his arm while taking no shame in your shining smile nor his shy embarrassment as he does nothing to stop you...Adorable.

Old churches, modern museums, and a much needed café break; that's been your day so far. Oh, and the hand holding. That's been wonderful, too. Since the moment Bucky took your hand in his, he's been cursed to hold it for the remainder of the day which has kept both your hand and heart pleasantly warm throughout such an otherwise cold afternoon.

"This has been fun. Excellent choice for a Friday date, Barnes," you praise, taking another sip of your beloved drink. You've had him order the same, offended that he's never tried it before. Trusting you with his life, he complied, although he hasn't commended much on whether he actually enjoys it or not.

Bucky flinches while fidgeting with his own warm porcelain mug. Date...That simple four-lettered word sticks in his head more than he'd care to admit. He almost corrects you, but decides against it in favor of just busying himself by studying the passersby from the café window you both sit next to.

Unfortunately, Bucky isn't as smooth as he thinks and you definitely notice his discomfort. Guilt eats at you, begging you to apologize and insist this is just a friendly date, however feeling that the discussion would only confirm any awkwardness, you comment on something else instead.

"Getting worn out from all this socialization?"

"No-" Bucky presses his lips into a thin line before changing his answer,"...a bit. I just..."

"It's fine. We can finish up here and get back to the apartment," you lean back into your chair with crossed arms," you know, I'm proud of you. You've managed to let loose and be yourself within a public space. That's a big step in the right direction."

His lip twitches upwards at your compliment, although he's hesitant to actually accept it, soon lowering his head with a frown,"...this feels wrong."

You barely hear his whispered words and answer back just as quietly," what does?"

"Being out here with you, having a good time when I...I don't think I-"

"-James Buchanan Barnes," you're quick to lean forward, reaching towards him without actually touching. Instead, you keep your hand near his where it can at least gain his attention," you have every right to enjoy life. It's gonna feel weird and wrong at first, and it might for a while, but that's a part of the healing process, too. You just have to do your best to set aside those negative thoughts and trust in your own happiness.

"You've been having fun today, right? We went to the museum and looked at the art, we checked out the Stavropoleos Monastery which was cool, and you even got to buy stuff at your souvenir shops...What did you get anyways, you never showed me?"

"Nothin' special," Bucky states, tapping his metal finger against the mug with a 'clink'.

"Alright then, keep your secrets," you rest your chin on your hand with a wicked grin as you admire his handsome features. If only this was a romantic date, then you'd have every excuse to decorate his cheeks and lips with dozens of butterfly kisses.

"...What?"

"Nothing," you mumbled.

Something else you've noticed about this Bucky is his easily flustered nature which is very different from the Bucky you once knew. Back in those days, he took every compliment right to his head, adding it to his already steep ego and responding quickly with his silver tongue. It was nearly impossible for you to get the man to blush, but the same couldn't be said about him with you. He always had some flirty reply prepared, well aware of the effect his charm had over you and damn, did he use it to his advantage.

Now, Bucky behaves in a way Hollie never thought possible. While he does admittedly have his smooth moments, he's rather shy and reluctant. You now have no problem drawing that blush from him and can even make him completely tongue tied if you feel evil enough. You don't mind this change, actually. It's cute seeing him so flustered...Maybe that's why 1940s Bucky always teased you so much.

While you're lost in thought, present Bucky shifts in his seat, grabbing the small paper bag hung on its back before placing it on the table. This movement snaps you out of it, your eyes dropping to the object then rising to him in wordless question. He bashfully nods towards the bag which gives you the hint.

As he hides his worry behind the mug he brings to his lips, you peek inside the paper barrier, not seeing anything too well through the shadow, thus you opt for reaching inside. Snatching something, you pull it out carefully to examine it further.

In your hand rests a beautiful Romanian bead bracelet like the very ones you had been observing in a souvenir shop earlier during this trip. Some had plain colors while others had designs with many triangles, but your favorite contained flowers. In particular, you enjoyed the contrast of a white bracelet with red and blue flowers and green stems; the very bracelet you currently hold now.

"That was the one you liked, right?" Bucky's hopeful towards this question, his eyes watching your every movement intensely as you run your fingers over the tiny beads.

"Yeah...I really liked this one, but how did you-?" From what you remember, Bucky had been across the shop searching the book section. You hadn't even been looking at the bracelets long, only a minute or two before going to wait outside of him, so when did he...?

"-I noticed you at the bracelets and even the owner mentioned how much you seemed to like that one, so I figured I'd get it- you know, as a small 'thank you' gift for helping me out so much..." he smiles slightly, glancing at the bracelet in memory. He knows you don't usually focus on yourself much, instead keeping an eye out for him, thus he wanted to do something special to show you his utmost appreciation.

Raising his attention from the bracelet to your face, Bucky frowns immediately, shame and panic filling him at the sight of your tears," w-was I not right? I can get you a different one if you want or-or should I have-?"

"-No, no," you're quick to wipe your sleeve under your eyes, giving a sniff before smiling his way brightly," I love it! Thank you so much, Bucky. It's perfect."

He isn't too convinced, voicing as much," you're sure?"

"I'm sure. It's just..." biting your lip, you move the beads with your thumb in thought. The bracelet truly is beautiful, but it means so much more coming from him," no one's gotten me a gift like this in a while. I'm touched."

Bucky stares at you for a second before carefully asking,"...not even your fiancé?"

You flinch, but shake your head and clear away another tear," well, it's not really his fault. He's been...busy, you could say...but maybe I should tell him about this, huh? Let him know he's got competition and better shape up real soon before you steal me away from him, hmm?"

At this, Bucky rolls his eyes," no, don't tell him that. I don't wanna start a fight."

"Fine, for your sake, I won't say a word," you laugh heartily, pinning the bracelet around your wrist finally and holding it out to get a good look at it in the sun,"...thank you, Bucky. I'll treasure this forever."

He smiles, creating a mental photo of the way your eyes glimmer happily in this moment," you're welcome."

"So, how was it?"

"Today was nice. We went to Old Town for the afternoon and had a lot of fun. Bucky was able to let loose, I had him teach me some Romanian words I immediately forgot, and then we ordered take out for dinner," you list off the events of your day while raising your hand towards the ceiling and staring at your bracelet with a gleeful smile. By the way you've been coddling the jewelry, one might think Bucky had proposed to you again with it.

"And then~?"

"’Then’ what?"

"The sex! How was the sex? I need details."

You feel your face flare, sitting up quickly from the bed with a growl," Natasha, what the hell makes you think we had sex?!"

"Oh, I don't know…You're currently living with a hot guy who you used to be engaged to in your past life, you're so in love with him that you retrained all your memories from said past life just to remember him-"

"-We think that's the reason anyways-"

"-Aaaand you seemed really excited to call me tonight. With all things considered, you really can not blame me for thinking you just got laid!”

"Well, I didn't," you run a hand over your face with a shake of your head. Thank goodness Bucky went to pick up the take out. While you normally have your conversations with Natasha in private so that you can stress all your secret worries to her, apparently you also need to keep him from overhearing this topic, too.

"Really? What's his problem? I figured he'd literally jump at the chance after he found out you're his Hollie?"

"Probably because he still doesn't know that part yet."

"...Oh..." Natasha's silent for a moment," you mean you still haven't told him? (Y/n), how long do you plan to wait exactly? I mean, I understand why you didn't say anything out of the gates, but the two of you have been together for a while now. Don't you think it's about time he learned the truth?"

"It's just not that easy, Nat," you sigh. Deep down, you do feel wrong for not saying anything. It kills you everyday to not be able to have Bucky see you as Hollie. Your relationship - and undying love for him - would be so much easier to manage then, but there's too many ways a reveal could go south.

"Assuming that Bucky would even believe me is a stretch to begin with and even if he does, there’s several issues that could present themselves. For one, I’m only Hollie through memory. What if (Y/n) being Hollie creeps him out so much that he wants nothing to do with either of us - me - whatever?!”

“Or he could see past that little detail and love you for who you are on the inside.”

“Okay, sure, but what about his unresolved guilt towards Hollie? I mean, we’re not talking about him just mourning her death the way anyone else would. As far as he's concerned, he's the one who killed her. No matter what I try to say to convince him otherwise, he blames himself for it and it destroys him inside. What if that guilt remains and he ends up pushing me away with some fucked up reasoning that it’s to ‘protect me’?”

“By telling him you’re Hollie, you’d be telling him as her that you forgive him,” Natasha speaks slowly to not get tripped over all the pronouns,” maybe he’d be more willing to forgive himself then.”

"Yeah…but this is Bucky we're talking about. I don't think he'd move on that easily regardless of whether it's Hollie or (Y/n) telling him to. He’s got catholic-style guilt, Nat!”

“That serious, huh?”

“Yes!”

Now it's Natasha who sighs,"...listen, I understand why you’re scared. I know how scary it can be trusting people with your past especially when they’re someone whose judgment means so much to you, however I also know that the truth will come out eventually. The risk only grows the closer you are to someone and the more you try to keep things hidden. At one point or another, the truth might be exposed and the more you wait to do it yourself, the more you risk it being at a bad time in the worst way.

“Just look at how I found out. We were already on edge with everything that happened then you began acting weird…For a second there, I was worried you were either a double agent or plain insane. In the end, I believed you, but not everyone is going to be as understanding as your super cool best friend.”

You chuckle softly, practically able to see Natasha’s smirk, too.

“Now, I don’t know a single thing about Barnes other than those times he tried killing me, so I’m probably not the greatest judge of this, but based on everything Steve and you have said, it sounds like he really loves you - uh, Hollie that is. Think about how you felt finding out he was still alive? Don’t you think he’d be just as relieved to know his fiancée’s gotten a second chance at life, too?

“Even when talking about (Y/n), Bucky clearly trusts you. Take it from me, there’s no way an assassin would go on a date and hold hands with someone they don’t trust with their life; that’s worth something, isn’t it? He’d be more willing to listen to whatever you have to say, all you gotta do is think of something only Hollie and him would know - something he still remembers about her - and use it to convince him. You managed to convince me as a total stranger to Hollie, so I’d imagine it would be easier to accomplish with someone who truly knew her. He’d be able to confirm for a fact that you’re telling the truth since he knows it himself.

“I’m not going to sugarcoat things. Everything that you mentioned before can happen. He might be really creeped out. He might push you away to protect you. Truthful, you gotta admit, it’s a little-”

“-Weird knowing someone’s practically two different people at once?” You finish with a roll of your eyes," yeah, I've realized that…and I’ve long expected that part. My main concern is just not hurting Bucky. I want him to believe me and, even if he doesn’t want to be together in this life, I want him to move on from Hollie. I want him to know it’s okay to go be happy without either of us…Ultimately, I just want him to have closure…”

You take in a shakily breath, pulling at the bracelet around your wrist. It kills you inside to see Bucky’s guilt and not truly be able to stop it. When he first broke down that day, admitting he remembered Hollie and her death by his hands, you wanted nothing more than to jump at him and kiss away his tears, telling him over and over again how much Hollie loves him, how much you love him…but you couldn’t bring yourself to do that.

“I’m tied to Hollie. Through me, she can finally tell Bucky everything’s going to be okay - that she doesn’t blame him for what happened…Maybe it won’t help him, maybe it will, but at the end of the day, he’ll at least hear it and that’s the greatest push I can offer…He deserves it so, yes, I am going to tell him eventually. Now just isn’t the right time; not while he’s still trying to find his footing. I can’t be the reason his life gets more confusing and chaotic than it already is. I just…We need a little more time.”

Natasha must’ve realized it by now. Yeah, you’re concerned over Bucky’s feelings and you’ve listed every worry you have regarding them, however deep down, this isn’t only about him. You’re scared. Despite every night that you’ve told yourself you’d be okay with him leaving you- with him hating you-, deep down, you fear such an outcome. You don’t want to lose him. You don’t want to feel his hate…So you’re delaying the inevitable until you magically find the strength to face it.

“...Can you just make me a promise?”

“To tell him? Yeah, I-”

“-No, not just to tell Barnes. I want you to eventually tell Steve and Tony, too. I think it’s safe to say Barnes isn’t the only one needing closure over Hollie. Steve went into the ice then woke up decades later with no one and Tony was a child who tragedy lost his only aunt. Don’t you think they deserve answers just as much as Barnes?

“They might not accept it, but if they do, they’ll be able to know they still have a piece of her around…You know, I can’t do much regarding lover boy, but I can always vouch for you to Rogers and Stark; punch them over the heads if they give you too much trouble.”

You chuckle softly, giving her question some thought. Steve and you were close friends in the past and Tony was practically attached to your hip whenever around. Even in this lifetime, you’re close to both of them and you’ve observed their own remaining sorrow over Hollie. They both mourn her, Steve disappearing on his own during any anniversary related to her while Tony still keeps her last present to him on his desk, avoiding any mention of her otherwise. They deserve to know how close she’s truly been to them this whole time…

“I’ll tell them, too. I promise.”

NEXT CHAPTER ➡️

⬅️PREVIOUS CHAPTER

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janokenmun · 1 year

Text

yknow what im gonna talk about my autism now. i have thoughts in my brain and i wish to post them (also disclaimer: i'm not 100% sure i have autism? i've always explained it as being on the border of autistic and neurotypical and i'm not fully sure which side i fall on)

im very low needs id say! i can largely function on my own, mostly it's a bit hard to take shower (hair being wet = mild bad sensory) but that's something i feel i can work on and actively get better at

the highest-needs part for me is like. if doing things for someone else, i need things explained in a Very Specific way! it has to be a completely unambiguous instruction list; i've compared it to like, instructions a robot could use. if there's anything ambiguous, i have to ask about it, and if i can't ask about it, i just end up shutting down. (this also applies to doing basically anything for the first time if it's important!)

like for example, helping clean stuff up! valid instruction sets:

"take all of these items in this specific location, and move them to this other location."

"i'll sort the items into piles. anything in pile A, put on the bookshelf. anything in pile B, put in the pantry. anything in pile C, put in your room or the basement (your choice; there's no consequences for your choices here, it doesn't matter). anything in pile D, put in the trash." (this arrangement works very well for me!!!)

"anything in this area with property A, put in location A. anything with property B, put in location B. anything with property C, put in location C." (a bit harder, there'll be a lot of questions of things on the boundary or things with multiple relevant properties)

but if it's something like, i don't know where they want it, i will ask A Lot of questions, like one per item! and this can often get annoying to people which sucks since if i can't ask, i just shut down!

beyond that, it's mostly stuff like needing jokes to be clarified a lot, since often i'll read something as way harsher than it's intended. some people i know are really cool and will include things like "(this is a joke)" on most or all of the jokes they make! i like those people. it's hard for me to be friends with someone if i don't feel comfortable approaching them to ask for clarification on the tone of a message, but i can be acquaintances with them without too much difficulty.

then there's some relatively minor things, like i mishear things a lot and will ask "what'd you say?" a Lot! and i'll also tune out by accident while reading or thinking about something and then i'll come back to reality like "wait whatd you say i was thinking about british telephone boxes". also some images and sounds are bad sensory to me, it's not a huge deal since if it's an image i can just Look Away like switching to another chat, if it's on discord or similar i'll have to either be tabbed out or on another chat 99% of the time, or do a big screen-clearing message of purely newlines. (my gf is trying very hard to spoiler-tag things she thinks might be bad sensory! is very good.)

that's basically all of my needs relating to other people, the rest of my autism (as far as i know) essentially boils down to little challenges i can overcome on my own or little personality quirks (disclaimer: idk how many of these are autism-related, if any!). like how i will get obsessed with something and talk about it frequently for WEEKS (right now it's rats and toki pona)! or looking at a message, reading it, and then taking 7 years to reply since it was too much mental effort to reply just then and then i tab out and forget and the next time that person messages i'm like "oh yeah you said something!!". or listening to the same song for hours straight! or stuff like eating the exact same thing for lunch, every day, for years, with few exceptions (it's a ham and cheese sandwich with exactly 4 slices of ham)! or looking at a box and thinking. wow. this is an amazing piece of engineering. and inspecting every detail of the box

also uh i use a lot of words since i like being precise. which, i Imagine is Somewhat Evident in this post! (also i have no idea how i should do tags so i have been very conservative with them on this post)

#autism

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tartagliaxx · 3 years

Note

Hey hey! I hope you're having a good day! Can I request Zhongli and Xiao's reaction to their S/O telling them that their immortal (years into their relationship, if that makes sense?) Remember not to overwork yourself dear and to drink some water if you haven't ♡

" WOES OF IMMORTALITY "

━━ ☆ INCLUDES: zhongli, xiao

━━ ☆ SUMMARY: thoughts on how zhongli and xiao would react to you saying you were immortal + how the dynamic of your relationship would change after.

━━ ☆ WARNINGS: spoilers on zhongli’s story, talks about death, immortality and mortality, implied depression and its consequent effects.

— zhongli;

he knew that something was off about you from the get-go.

he just didn't know what it was exactly.

after a few more meetings, he figured that he was likely to be infatuated with you and the nagging feeling he had was a manifestation of that.

and while not exactly wrong, he wasn't quite right either.

you and zhongli had a strong, very open, and communicative relationship.

and overall, you share almost everything with the other.

all but one thing, at least.

for you, that's your immortality.

for zhongli, that's him being morax.

zhongli is afraid that you'll leave him because of his very colored past.

he's done many things and you have openly voiced your skepticism about a few of them.

not to mention, you might find it odd to be dating someone so... old.

and he's not any regular elderly either, he's been your god for quite some time.

suffice to say, even he admits that if he was in your shoes, he would feel quite unnerved.

zhongli was planning to come clean. just not so soon in your relationship.

he wanted to make sure that you could be trusted to keep his secret.

sure, you might leave him in the end but he needs to know you wouldn't run around the streets yelling about being ex-lovers with a supposedly dead god.

a year into your relationship is when he began considering his next course of action.

to be honest, he wasn't quite ready to let go yet and to him, that was the likeliest scenario.

but it has to be done and it's better to cut ties short while you aren't too attached to each other.

he invites you to a private tea room.

zhongli anxiously fiddles with his cup, a nervous habit he didn't know he had until that day.

he had a whole speech prepared but as you stormed in with your eyes swollen red, that went out of the window quick.

zhongli swiftly moves to pull you into his embrace, letting you cry it out without much of a word.

he just runs a soothing hand through your hair.

when your cries dwindled into mere sniffles, you decided that now is the time to tell him.

so you did.

"zhongli, i'm immortal."

you explained that you couldn't stand the thought of losing him and being left behind so you decided to say it now so there'll be mutual closure. not just a third party taking him away out of nowhere.

of course, you were still hoping he'd understand deep in your heart.

zhongli blinked, caught off-guard and you read his reaction wrong.

right before you could succumb to another round of crying, zhongli asked you why he didn't notice.

you were confused because his reaction didn't quite fit in the 'normal' scale.

zhongli stares at you, confused because you weren't replying before he makes a noise of acknowledgment.

"oh. i'm sorry, i should've told you this first. i'm rex lapis."

so now, there are two of you with the pikachu face.

you breathed out after a solid five minutes and made a deal with him to explain each other's story right from the very start.

one long conversation later, you're found peacefully sleeping in the comfort of zhongli's arms in your small lodging. for the first time in years, you slept well.

zhongli's first reaction was pure, unadulterated relief.

your immortality means he didn't need to worry about anything after all.

you had all the time in the world to smoothen down whatever misunderstanding you encounter.

zhongli, up to this date, chastises himself for feeling that way.

in hindsight, he sees his reaction as being quite selfish and ungentlemanly.

his second reaction was well-meant sympathy and understanding.

he out of all people knew how much it hurts to lose the people around you while you're stuck in a constant state of existence.

he knows how frustrating it is to have your memories be blurred by time.

he knows how lonely it could get and he wondered for how many years were you left alone?

a certain feeling of regret welled up in his chest.

he wished he met you earlier so he could be there with you from the start.

zhongli's the type to stay up with you when you can't sleep at night, mind plagued with thoughts of your immortality.

he'll whisper you sweet nothings along with light, little kisses. all to take your mind off things.

"sleep now, dearest. i'll be here when you wake up."

you didn't need to hear him say it to know that what he truly meant is that he'll stay until the end of time.

slowly but surely, thoughts of wanting to succumb to death faded to occasional murmurs.

now, you found the beauty of living once more all because of one amber-eyed gentleman.

— xiao;

i feel like xiao wouldn't have any idea.

and the only reason you didn't tell him sooner is that you assumed he knew.

it's the only way i see this working because the amount of time and effort needed to have him spare you a single glance means that you're in it for the long run.

maybe on your first meeting, he said something overly ambiguous that didn't mean what you thought it meant.

if he did notice anything though, it's the fact that you're way too reckless for your own good.

like you weren't afraid of dying so you easily run around looking for trouble.

xiao wasn't aware adepti could have massive headaches but he wouldn't be too surprised seeing as your recklessness gave him so much stress.

anyway, i digress.

he'd be too deep into his self-deprecating thoughts that he wouldn't notice the little things about you that are simply... odd.

it'll take so long to get him to talk to you, longer to trust you, and even more than that to finally admit his feelings.

all this time, xiao's head is filled with worries about your mortality.

ever since officially seeing you, there has not been a single night when he didn't think about how life would go on when you did eventually pass.

you notice very early on that xiao withdraws from your affection.

but when you're not showering him with it, he'd stare at you longingly.

he really thinks he's being lowkey but he's not.

you tried to think of the reasons why he'd act like this and you finally found a reasonable answer.

xiao, in your mind, must be feeling scared that his karma would rub off on you and he's attempting to place a distance in between you two to stop that from happening.

again, not quite wrong but not right either.

anyway, you tried your best to show him that you'd be okay.

but then he mistook that as you trying to make him feel better about your inevitable death.

in fact, he might've even considered that you were already dying and you just didn't know how to tell him.

so now you're just trying to make the best out of the situation.

the following day after he came to that realization, verr goldet approached you and asked if something went wrong between the two of you.

you were confused until you heard from her that xiao went and obliterated a part of the marsh.

the confusion turned into concern and then deathly anxiety when you didn't see him for the rest of the day.

did you do something wrong? were you too closed off? did you not try hard enough? ...was he getting tired of you?

by the time xiao got back to the inn, you were on the floor having a full-blown panic attack.

and it also rubbed off on him but he's just better at hiding it.

he had no clue what to do so he just moved closer until your knees are brushing against each other.

a silent act of comfort that slowly leads you back to solid ground.

when you were somehow calmed down, you fell into this deep monologue much to xiao's confusion.

he did not understand a single thing you were saying. why were you begging him to stay? why were you talking about adjusting yourself? what do you mean you two could talk about it?

he's very confused, please help him.

somewhere along the lines you probably said something like:

"i know that my immortality could be an issue one day and that you'll eventually get sick of me. i mean come on, forever's a pretty long time and—"

wait. hold on. what?

xiao reached out to grip your wrist lightly, prompting you to stop and he's just:

"what? what did you just say?"

and you're like "what? what did i just say?"

you literally had no clue because you were just saying the first thing that came into your mind without much of a care.

so it's up to xiao to spit the words out.

"you're immortal?"

"wait... you didn't know?"

cue the mike-sulley face-swap meme but squared.

after a good ten minutes of silence, you laughed nervously because xiao's face was morphing to show a whole range of emotions you've never seen before.

later on, you'd tease him about looking constipated and he ends up ignoring you for the entire day.

you'd explain everything about your situation and he expects every single detail no matter how minor.

when the sun began rising, you were just finishing up your long tale.

and xiao allowed you to lean your head on his shoulder as you watch the marvelous sight before you.

xiao is nothing but relieved.

he's relieved that you wouldn't be dying anytime soon and that he doesn't need to worry about losing you to death.

he's already lost so much and knowing that there's someone who's going to stay by his side no matter what is such a great feeling.

it really felt like he was floating in the air.

in fact, he's so relieved that he began opening up himself. the amount of affection he gives you is increased and he doesn't pull away as much anymore.

he worries about your mental stability though.

he'd be keener on observing your habits just to make sure you're not drowning inside your mind.

he knows how horrible it feels. he's been there.

when nights grew dim for you, xiao would be there to listen if you want to talk or if you just want someone to be there, he'd willingly perch himself on the ledge of the balcony.

and if you're lucky, he might bring out his flute and play you a little tune.

that would always motivate you to move forward because it spoke volumes of his love and loyalty to you.

you could hear him, in your head, saying:

'i'm here. you're not alone anymore.'

━━ ☆ NOTES: thanks for requesting (and for your concern. that really means a lot to me)! take care of yourself too and i hope you liked this!

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chacusha · 3 years

Text

I just want to talk about one of my favorite Quodo scenes. You know, as I do. So S2 E18 Profit and Loss, for all that it’s focused on a one-episode love interest for Quark (and a romance with Natima so intense that it makes Quark very uncharacteristically be willing to risk his life and even give up the bar for the sake of pursuing it), it has some really amazing Quodo scenes. In particular, it has a really lengthy conversation between Quark and Odo that features some great things like (1) establishing important aspects of both of their characters and their relationship, (2) lots of intimate leaning over each other and casual touches, and (3) a flirtatious and shippy dynamic.

Let me walk through the whole scene because there’s a lot to analyze here.

The scene opens with Quark coming to talk to Odo about the urgent need to release Natima rather than handing her over to the Cardassian government who will execute her. Quark tries multiple tacks, all of which fail:

First, he tries to make the appeal that releasing the Cardassian dissidents would lead to a better, brighter Cardassia, which obviously Odo doesn’t buy. Quark doesn’t care about that.

Quark immediately pivots to spinning that change as one that would lead to him getting more profits -- more plausible, at least, but Odo is still skeptical. In response, knowing that Odo doesn’t find benefiting Quark financially to be a worthy cause, Quark impishly says, “Now Odo... don’t allow my greed to keep you from doing the right thing.” Here he’s making a small appeal to Odo’s moral system rather than Quark’s.

But that’s not the reason why Odo was skeptical. He’s skeptical because Quark isn’t being honest about his motivations.

“I know you better than you think, Quark.” - Moment #1 in this scene where the long history and enefriend relationship between Quark and Odo is highlighted.

Odo prompts Quark to bring up the third and more honest consideration: that Quark is in love with Natima. Odo asks Quark why he didn’t just say that from the start, which prompts Quark to go into a long rant about how Odo is incapable of understanding his feelings while Odo listens awkwardly: “What was I supposed to say? That I love her? That I would do anything for her? That without her my life would be meaningless. Sure, I could say those things, but what good would it do? How could I expect you to understand? You’ve never had those feelings. You don’t know what it means to really care about another person. You’ve never been in love. You’ve got all the emotions of a stone. (pause) No offense.”

None is taken, because that is the image that Odo has carefully crafted for himself, which doesn’t in actuality line up with who he is, but he’s happy for others to believe that is how he is like. So even though Quark realizes how harsh his words are and walks it back, Odo is not offended, but nor does he find it entirely convincing either. It’s one of this scene’s many ways of illustrating the conflicting moral codes between Quark and Odo: Quark may view doing things out of love as legitimate, but he knows that Odo can’t enter into that mindset.

(It's not text, but Quark's speech could also be read as Quark expressing his frustration that his own attempts to court Odo have ended in failure -- Quark angsting that he is barking up the wrong tree, so to speak.)

Quark then tries a fourth tack: Making an exchange instead of putting forward logical arguments and appeals. He begins to offer information on the various deals he’s involved in ("Listen to me, Odo. You do this for me, and I promise there'll be no more secrets between us") -- this momentarily catches Odo’s interest -- before Quark chickens out and instead offers information on Rom’s activities instead, which is, well, worthless, lol. Odo isn’t interested in your brother, Quark, he’s interested in you. Quark does have something of value to Odo but he’s not willing to offer it up because, well, he's just not THAT good of a person.

Seeing this fourth try has failed, Quark then makes a fifth appeal:

Quark’s fifth try involves directly leveraging Quark and Odo’s relationship and involves Quark asking Odo to do this as a personal favor to him. Here is moment #2 where Quark and Odo’s longstanding relationship is highlighted, with Quark turning what Odo said earlier back on him:

(Technically, Odo didn’t say he knew Quark better than anyone else; he said he knew Quark better than Quark thought. But Quark is speaking the truth in any case.) Quark actually just spells out their relationship a bit anviliciously: “Sure, sometimes we’re on opposite sides, but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t close. I never told you this, Odo, but I consider you as dear to me as my brother.” Again, Odo is unimpressed given that Quark literally just tried to sell out his brother. One can’t help but feel like Quark’s fifth appeal failed for the same reason his fourth one failed: Like with the fourth appeal, Quark began to show some vulnerability here which actually interested Odo, but chickened out at the end. He did have something valuable to bargain with (his relationship with Odo) but wasn’t willing to pay the price it would require (being fully open and vulnerable with Odo about the value of that relationship) -- instead, he deflects at the last moment with something joking and ironic.

Finally, Quark makes his sixth and last appeal. “Odo, look at me. Look at me. I’m on my knees. I’m begging you. I don’t care why you do it. Pick any reason you want. But please, let Natima and the others go.”

On his knees, he makes the Ferengi gesture of supplication. With this attempt, Quark does two things: One, he sacrifices his pride for the first time by openly begging -- in his other appeals, he protected his pride by couching it in logical appeal, anger/disapproval at Odo, irony, or jokes. But here, for the first time, he displays humility, desperation, vulnerability, etc. Second, he lets Odo pick the reason, which allows Odo to also intervene without having to lose his own pride.

The reason Odo picks in the end is (what else) justice.

"Justice," Quark says. "That was going to be my next suggestion."

And then (after being on his knees begging, etc.) Quark slowly gets to his feet, and it’s framed like this:

THIS. IS SO. SUGGESTIVE.

I’m... I'm dying. Definitely a "getting shit past the censors" moment.

Anyway, moving swiftly along, now that Quark has gotten what he wants, it's back to the old light-hearted and flirty dynamic they always have. Now assured Odo definitely isn't doing this as a personal favor to Quark, Quark gleefully declares himself debt-free to Odo. He hugs him and Odo pretends to dislike it.

The scene ends with Odo asking how Quark plans to sneak the dissidents past the Cardassian warship hovering outside DS9. By the way he asks the question and is able to guess just by Quark's mischievous smile, Odo already knows the answer, bringing the episode back full circle from its opening where Odo was investigating Quark for having an illegal cloaking device.

Yeah, bickering, casual touching, their cat-and-mouse relationship, flirtatious dialogue, even Odo grudgingly letting Quark get away with crimes because they're a reluctant team with aligned interests now -- it's all here.

Anyway, I love this scene because it's an extended look at how Quark's moral system and Odo's don't really line up with each other (Quark valuing things like love and profit and not valuing abstract things like justice or order, and vice versa for Odo) to the point where it's actively hard for Quark to convince Odo to do something he's inclined/sympathetic to doing anyway. At the same time, they also have some shared interests (in Quark's dealings, in their relationship with each other) while being engaged in a complex dance where neither of them can quite acknowledge it. For example, Odo says he will release the prisoners solely out of his own sense of justice, but if so, why did it take Quark begging him to move him to act? Before Quark came to his office, he was reading a detective novel, suggesting that Quark's appeal is at least one part of Odo's decision to act, despite what they both say. But it serves Quark's purposes to let this slide ("So, you're not really doing this for me?" "That's right." "Then I don't owe you a thing. Thank you!") and let Odo keep his pride, so he does.

Anyway, I just love how much Quodo there is in an episode that's entirely dedicated to Quark's love for a different woman entirely. That's how powerful the relationship between these two is.

#quodo #star trek: deep space nine #ds9 #ds9 quark #ds9 odo #quodo meta #oh god I wrote an essay #I meant to write this earlier but I wanted to make a gif of that moment #👀

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azurevi · 4 years

Text

on land where we can touch the moon (2/?)

PART 1 PART 3

A quick note- this is pretty messy. I'm planning as I write, so there'll be information scattered across the words, and it may be overwhelming...kinda. I have added a little note about what happened in this chapter in the end. This series is also up on ao3.

There is, naturally, a reason Azul was stuck with the name 'The Sea Merchant'.

It wasn't a bad name, and there was no hint of degradation in it. It just wasn't particularly suiting. Azul wasn't a merchant. He wasn't even a shopkeeper. He was just invested in a little magic, and this hobby of his got leaked out somehow.

His magic was certainly something. It's A Deal allowed him to confiscate another person's valued quality in exchange for their wish. Anything could come to life as long as the deal was equal.

Only the drunk and people in desperate need of help ever went to him for help. After Azul had started mastering his magic, he reckoned that it hadn't been used to its full potential. If the person on the other side of the deal failed to meet the requirement, Azul could take even more from them without suffering any loss.

And so he sugarcoated and exaggerated his words, put up the most professional smile he could manage. For a few weeks all was well. He'd gained himself a melodious voice, splendid flexibility and a ton of unique magics, but nothing great ever lasted. He was soon exposed as a scammer and his notoriety was whispered among the streets, passed on and on until every family warned their kids not to ever run into him. And Azul, with his fame and prosperity wilting under the gossip and points of fingers, was forced into giving up his success.

He had been in hiding ever since.

He could never understand how something as atrocious could happen to him. If it hadn't been for the sneers and isolation in the entirety of his childhood, he wouldn't have grown up hating everything and everyone around him that called him ugly, unwanted, repulsive. It should've justified his desire for revenge.

Instead, God decided that his suffering was not anywhere close to enough and kicked him down the cliff where he was crying for help.

That being said, Azul was grateful to have Jade and Leech sticking around after everything. The two of them were also unpopular among others, so they eventually got close as a tight-knitted trio.

"No you didn't," Jade said firmly.

"I did, Jade. I did," Azul sighed, "They were dying, Jade, I couldn't just let them die,"

"Well, you should've."

"Don't be so uptight. Azul was doing the right thing, wasn't he?" Floyd winked. "So. Were they good-looking?"

"What?"

"The human. You must've saved them for a reason,"

Azul hated how Floyd's words implied that he would never do good unless there was something in it for him, but one could never lie in the face of truth.

"I just didn't want to let them die. It was their birthday,"

"What does that have to do with everything?" Jade asked. "You went above the water. You saved a human. You were almost caught. You could've died up there, you know. How did you even manage to breathe?"

"I just… did." Azul said, twirling his tentacles in nervousness. Jade was entirely disapproving of his actions, while Floyd on the contrary seemed to be mildly intrigued.

Everything still felt like a fever dream. All the fireworks and cheering and explosion were still vividly scorched into his mind as if they'd been put on repeat. The splendid colors, light giggles and-

And those beautiful eyes of yours. The way your hair flowed in the night sky with ease, how you laughed like tomorrow was promised and your life had been planned out before you, a clear and untainted path to success. Azul couldn't decide on whether he was jealous or amazed.

"Well, you better hope they didn't really see you, or that they forgot about it. If the humans come down here to hunt us down-" Jade couldn't even bear to finish the imagination. He simply shook his head in dismay.

"I swear I saw someone! I couldn't have just been washed ashore!"

"Apparently, you were," Jack said, stroding with large steps that had you panting to keep up. "Near-death experiences do things to our mind, your majesty,"

"That may be the case for others, but I'm sure I was conscious," you retorted. "I woke up to a pair of pale, azure eyes, then in a blink they were behind the rock. If it hadn't been for you-"

"I apologize for worrying about you, your majesty."

You bit your tongue. Fighting with Jack always ended with him being passive-aggressive and you stepping back reluctantly. Plus he was as stern as a rock. Almost nothing could move his belief.

Shouting and grunting could be heard from inside the medical room where Ace, Deuce and Grim were being tended to.

Jack flung open the door, and the three stumbled to get into the blankets and put on a excruciated expression.

"I see you're all healed up," Jack said. Ace hummed lowly and slapped his forehead with the back of his hand.

"I'm at death's door, commander. It pains me to say this, but I might need to take more days off,"

Jack was quiet for a while, and you could almost see a drop of sweat sliding down Ace's forehead.

"And you, Deuce?" Jack challenged.

"I'm traumatized,"

"And Grim?"

You arched your brow, at which he shivered in fear. "I- I'm feeling fine already,"

"So it's just Ace and Deuce, right?" Jack said. Ace and Deuce nodded their heads so hard they could fall off.

"Alright. Your health is of utmost importance to us, so I'll contact the Raven Healer…"

"The what?!" Deuce's voice croaked.

"The Raven Healer. Surely you've heard of him. He's best known for being able to treat any diseases, both mentally and physically,"

You were sure there were sweats rolling down Ace's cheeks now. "But- but doesn't he heal by using bizzare mediciness…?"

"Oh yes. His magic is what makes him such an infallible doctor. You two seem to be in a lot of pain. I'm sure he'll free you of your suffering."

You turned sharply towards the door and stifled a laughter.

"That's… not very necessary…" Deuce's voice faltered word by word. He was fully aware that he'd already lost. "You know what, commander? I think I can dive back into work right this instant!"

Jack smirked smugly. "Splendid. And you, Ace?"

The two of them stared at each other so intensely there seemed to be sparkles between them. Finally, Ace gave in. "I'll start work tomorrow,"

They didn't even wait for Jack to walk completely out of the door to whine. They looked fully healthy, even more energized than you.

"Anyways, did you find your saviour?"

You sighed. Ace and Deuce were still skeptical about your 'story', which you'd corrected to 'experience', but at least they were open-minded.

"No clues. I've had guards patrolling about every two hours. Nothing has yet to happen,"

They eyed each other uneasily, then back at you with a worried face. Before they could make assumptions, you defended yourself. "No, I'm not sick. My head's not concussed,"

"Well," Grim scurried to your lap. "Perhaps your saviour doesn't wish to be found?"

That'd be unwanted. You would wish for anything but to create troubles for your lifesaver. Nonetheless, you knew you wouldn't be able to sleep without sending your gratitude.

Alright, there might be a selfish motif. You were admittedly curious about those light, pensive eyes and silvery, gleaming hair under sunlight. All these unknown were like a gravity pool, pulling you deeper and deeper into the mystery.

"Well, you ought not to lose hope," Ace patted your shoulder casually, like you weren't the princette of the kingdom he was serving for. "Maybe you'll actually run into him. Fate has a weird habit for setting unexpected traps."

It wasn't so much love as a tender curiosity, but the line segregating them was so flimsy that one's got to mix them up at some point.

Azul found himself in such a dilemma. He couldn't decide whether it was attraction or nosiness that he was feeling. Either way, it's got him hooked like a drug. Something beautiful had finally entered his life like light piercing through a thick fog of ink, and it was possessive. Azul had a feeling that it wouldn't go away until it had drained him of his mind.

The door to his room was thrown open and Azul had to hide the peeled petals and green stem in a jumble. He had been chanting 'they love me, they love me not' for the past hour. To his luck, Jade and Leech didn't seem to have noticed his haste expression. They were both panting when they swam inside.

"What's wrong?" Azul's first instinct was that something had gone south.

"There-" Floyd wheezed. "There's a sta-"

"There's a fallen statue in the Coral Maze," Jade finished the sentence. "People are fussing over it,"

"Okay," Azul eased back into his bed. He'd already lost interest at 'Coral Maze'. It was at the centre of where the majority of sea creatures inhabited. Nothing could make him go anywhere near civilization and its hubristic aesthetic again.

Or so he thought.

"No- you don't get it. It's a statue of a human that sank along with wreckages of a big ship, and it's made of gold,"

A statue made of gold.

He recalled it now. It was supposed to be your birthday present. The consternation of what followed the present revelation had been so intense that it'd washed the memory of the statue out.

"We just thought that it could be the statue you mentioned in your story, you know? It looked really grand…" Floyd sighed.

Azul wanted to get up and swim over right there, right then, but he knew he couldn't. What would others say to him the moment they saw the shadows of their tentacles crawling on their pure and oh-so royal ground? What accusations would they throw his way? How many children will be led away from him like he was some man-eating, brutal abomination?

Not to mention the unforgiving rage he'd evoked in trying to scam them in the past. Dishonesty was highly criticised in their high-class society. It was as if they were saints that had never done one thing wrong. Bet they'd never even stayed up past midnight.

"You ought to come take a look!" Floyd suggested. A casual, friendly proposal.

"No," Azul snapped. "No, no. I'm not going there,"

"They're planning to use the gold," Jade said. "You know how they are. They see one thing from the ground and start screeching in pain,"

They were going to use your statue. The statue that was perhaps the only thing that was related to you, the one way to never have to forget about you again in case that you never met again.

And to imagine the effect it'd add to his collections! A big gold statue in the centre of his grotto, accentuated by the sparkling of other jewelries. It'd be complete.

"I'll sit on it," Azul decided. He was not to act rashly, lest he walked one step wrong and brought upon himself misery and misfortune. If he really was to pay a visit, he would act in secret. Perhaps in the veil of the night.

"Just don't act alone, okay?" Jade said. Azul nodded despite not paying any mind to him.

In the dead of the night Azul decided to sneak out. Alone. It was a mistake, really. Azul couldn't stop thinking about your statue, and by the time he realized how absurd it was, he'd already gone to the Coral Maze.

There was nary a shadow except his own. Still, it was much lighter than where he lived even at night. The distorted image of the moon waved from above as Azul made his way through the many identical corals. Then he finally found your majestic statue standing solemnly in the centre. The only beauty in the water.

It was a sight for sore eyes. White, pure light reflected off the gold and created streams of gleams onto the ground. That someone would ever find it to be disgraceful was incomprehensible to Azul. Something like this deserved to be put on display in the museum for all to see.

There was no radiance on your face and no splendid colors in your eyes. It was merely a fraction of what you were. Nonetheless, it was enough for Azul.

"Who's roaming there?" an alerted voice asked. When Azul turned, he saw a silhouette looming from outside the Coral Maze, holding two anglerfishes in hands and waving them in the water.

Panic was the only thing Azul felt as he hid behind the statue, struggling to keep his tentacles out of sight. The light stayed right in front of him for a while before skimming away.

Azul grabbed the statue and swam, pushing his tentacles through the water as hard as he could.

"Wait there- oh goodness!"

There were several voices now, mumbling and inquiring. Then light was casted upon his flitting figure and there were bemused gasps before someone yelled, "Seize him!"

Azul was out of breath. He wished he excelled in fitness but instead he was stuck with incongruous tentacles that would never cooperate at the most needed times.

A hand grasped the end of his tentacle but slipped off. He kept the statue tight in his arms, as if his life depended on it. He could tell that they were near now, and was trying very hard not to imagine the gruesome outcomes.

Someone grabbed his tentacles. He faltered and was pulled back despite protests.

"Keep him in place!" another person yelled as the crowd moved to keep Azul fenced in.

Azul couldn't see anything. Everything was a poor mixture of shadow and distaste and sneers. He was probably going to die right there.

"I can't believe you have the guts to come back, Ashengrotto. After all the things you've done!" someone spoke up.

"Yeah! How shameless of you!”

"And he's stealing our properties now! Imagine how desperate he is,"

"You guys don't even want it!" Azul said.

Some guy lurched forward. Azul cowered backwards.

"It's disgusting, yes, but it's still gold." he said as if it was a completely just thing to do. "It landed on our ground, so it belongs to us. On the contrary, you don't have the rights to lay your filthy hands on it. What more do you want to steal from us?"

"I'm taking this because none of you understand the beauty of it!"

This evoked a negative reaction from the crowd, but words could never be taken back. Azul could feel his heart pounding like a prisoner hellbent on escaping. He had to escape. No more of this degrading gazes. No more of the points of fingers.

"Beauty?" the guy scoffed, and for a moment his face scrunched up and he was ready to spit out rage, but then it softened into a smug smirk. "I guess only ugly understands ugly, huh?"

Azul's head throbbed.

"It doesn't justify your actions, ink-blasting thief. Hand that piece of trash over right- uff!"

He was flung deep into the water until he disappeared into nothing but a black dot. People around Azul immediately made way as they fled in screams and wails. His tentacle was still tingling with the impact, but he couldn't quite feel it. Even if he did, he couldn't care less as he skyrocketed to the surface of the water. He blinked and blinked, but his eyes were still blurred by what would be mixed into the seawater eventually.

He'd had enough. Heard enough, seen enough. If he'd spent one more second down there he would have suffocated to death.

The familiar freshness of air welcomed him the moment he broke through the water's persistence. The land wasn't far ahead. He swam towards it as if it was his sanctuary.

There was a man sitting on the rock, face hidden under the hood. Azul considered retreating. He had no idea what would happen to him if he was spotted, but nothing better would happen if he were to go back. So he continued swimming and crawled onto the cool soft sand, only letting his head be seen by the man as he hid behind yet another rock where he placed the much valued statue.

He seemed to be asleep, chest heaving up and down at a steady pace. Just as Azul started sliding out, the man raised his head and looked straight at Azul.

They were a pair of humming, white circles, seemingly void of any sentiments. The man had a mask on that shielded his face except for his tightly shut lips. Two crows were staring right at him with the same uncanny manner.

"You've finally arrived," the man said.

Probably the humans had been searching for him. Azul decided to keep his mouth shut.

"I've been hearing your calls…" he tilted his head. "You can come out. I know what you are,"

Azul still hesitated. But he was much closer to the ocean than to the guy, so he slowly let his tentacles into light.

The man remained calm, not a bit taken back by the revelation.

"Well, I've been hearing your calls…" he resumed.

"I never called out to any humans,"

"Not literally. But you have been calling out a lot," he smiled amiably. "You have to know that it's especially hard for me to hear from creatures undersea, so if your wishes managed to reach me, it means you're pretty desperate,"

"I think you have the wrong person," Azul said and started retreating.

The guy sprang up and his crows curled up together beside him. "Wait- I should introduce myself first. I'm the Raven Healer,"

Azul pondered for a while. "That doesn't explain anything except for the crows,"

"You lots haven't heard of me?" he frowned so deep that his brows and eyes were a cluster. "You guys are really secluded,"

That was when Azul finally realized that he knew about them. About all the lives and creatures that inhabited the deep sea.

"And I mean no harm to your realm. My only target is you," he smiled again, this time at an ominous angle.

"Well, I'm quite famous in this realm. I heal people for a living, whether it be physical or emotional needs. Anything you need, I can grant you,"

That's not very different from Azul's magic.

"Sometimes, when someone is really desperate for a change, their thoughts can be heard by my crows. And you, Azul Ashengrotto…" his smile dropped a bit and his eyes drooped. "is particularly distressed,"

"Alright. It was nice meeting you," Azul nodded respectfully. The man didn't seem to be harmful. If he fled right now, he could probably throw him off.

The Raven Healer stilled, then burst into piles of blatant laughter. "No, no. I've been looking for you, don't you get it? I'm here to grant your wish!"

I'm here to grant your wish. Like how Azul'd promoted his business as the Sea Merchant.

"I understand that you've been suffering quite a lot, and that you want a change. But nothing ever comes without a cost… I'm sure you can understand,"

The healer stood up, the material of his greatcoat fluttering in the wind. He made his way freely to Azul, who could only freeze up as he inspected the statue with great interest.

"The heir to the throne! I see why you're desperate now. They're a real catch," the healer then looked down at the outstretched tentacles without a word. Azul prayed in his mind that he would turn away from them.

"Well, here are my terms. I will grant you a pair of legs in exchange for your magic,"

Wait, what?

Azul was pretty sure the Raven Healer was just imitating him now. A great figure appearing out of the blue to answer your hopes. The catch was that the figure would always take away your most important thing. It was never a fair deal, Azul was aware.

"I don't think you need my magic," Azul breathed.

"Why, I do!" he exclaimed. "Collecting magic is a splendid hobby of mine! It is because of all these magic that I am such a renowned magician,"

He was obviously lying. His smile couldn't reach his eyes, and the orbs where his eyes were supposed to be were humming like a hazard label.

"I think I'll be just fine," Azul hurriedly brought the statue to his chest and started sliding away.

"...How are you going to survive?"

"What?" Azul swiveled, exhausted.

"Up here. With your…" the healer wiggled his fingers.

"I'll find a way,"

"No you won't," the healer protested. Azul looked up to the sky, took a deep breath and decided to entertain him.

"Why so?"

"You're gonna cause ruckus. Chaos. People are not especially used to seeing half-man half-octopuses roaming their land," he said honestly.

Despite knowing all this, Azul still considered his word rude. There was a thin line between blunt and disrespectful, and he'd just crossed it.

"There won't be anyone dealing with you, will there?"

"...I suppose not-"

"Exactly! I am your only hope!" he exclaimed once again, throwing his hands up in the air like a dramatist. "Unless you want to go back?"

Azul glanced at the serene water. He knew that down there, the mermaids and mermen must be panicking over what'd just happened.

"You can't hold onto that statue forever. If you really wish to stay here-"

"I just came, Mr. Healer. I'm not going to stay,"

"Yet. Come on now," he groaned, as if he was the one exasperated. "I know you want it. You need it. So what are you waiting for? You're never going to see all the beauties in this world in this state!"

He was right. Agonizingly right. He couldn't just walk around as an octopus. It would be like a stain on a quaint painting. Moreover, now that he was here, he couldn't just give up the chance to find you again. It's not like the ocean would welcome him anyways.

As if hearing his thoughts, the Raven Healer reached his hand out, "Deal? Your magic for a pair of legs. It's a fantastic trade if you think about it,"

One second. Two second. Azul didn't wait until the third to act on it. The moment their skin touched, Azul felt a stream of warmth coursing through him, rushing to his throat, where he choked up a luminous blue orb. It was within the healer's fingers within seconds.

"And your legs," he rummaged inside his pocket. There seemed to be numerous tiny objects inside as he dug around. Finally, he pulled up a thumb-size bottle and handed it to Azul.

He downed the slimy liquid inside under the healer's encouraging nods, and almost gagged at the sensation. "Guh! What the hell is-"

His tentacles started glowing a bright yellow, bright enough to attract people in this dead of the night. They started to shrink until they completely disappeared, and a pair of human legs replaced them.

He couldn't believe his eyes as he stretched around and surveyed the changes on his body. It took him quite some time to adjust to it, but he was surprisingly good at it. The fabric of the pants that came with the gift fluttered against his 'flesh' like a mother's caress. He felt normal, for once. Not some ugly monster that preyed on innocent kids. Not a marginalized criminal. Not even a wicked fraud. He was just a human wanting to explore the world.

"Three days," the Raven Healer said.

"What?" Azul was too joyous to pay real mind.

"If you can't find the most beautiful thing after three days, you will dissolve into sea bubbles,"

Azul stilled as he comprehended his words, then he started to chant no in his mind. He'd fallen for his trap.

"You didn't mention it at all!" Azul yelled. "Refund! You're scamming me!"

"The pot's calling the kettle black now. How comical," the healer giggled. Azul's heart dropped to the bottom.

"Consider this your own medicine. It's not like you're completely at loss over here!"

"Wait!" Azul reached out to grasp his fainting figure, which had become an opaque vision.

"We shall reunite in three days. Until then, enjoy."

All that was left was the crashing of the waves and songs of the crickets. Bathed in the glow of the moon, Azul finally came to the conclusion that he'd fucked up.

Life never stopped to give him a break. There were haste footsteps nearing from behind. Azul instinctively retracted his tentacles, but forgot about their absence and tripped instead.

"Yikes! That was a nasty fall. Are you okay?"

Looking up, two formally looking men were standing above him, one with crimson hair and another navy. There was a sword attached to each of their sides.

"Yeah. I-I'm fine," Azul cleared his throat and stood up.

"Are you homeless?" The redhead asked and was immediately hit by his companion.

"You can't go around asking people whether they are homeless!" he scolded, then turned to Azul brightly. "You must be in search of shelter! Please follow us!"

"That isn't any better,"

"Shut up," the blue-haired snapped with the same polite smile. "Come on, Mr…?"

"A-Azul. Azul Ashengrotto,"

"Yes, Mr. Ashengrotto. We can't have you catching a cold out here,"

Despite his friendly facade, Azul could see underlying motives lurking beneath. But clueless that he was, he didn't have a choice but to follow suit towards the castle-like building in the far distance.

"Your majesty will be pleased to see you," the redhead murmured, but Azul couldn't quite catch that.

"What was that?" he asked.

"It's nothing," was all that he received. "Just that you'll surely love the place."

Conclusion : Azul had once gone around scamming others with his unique magic but was busted and had been further criticised since. The Raven Healer is obviously Crowley, and his magic will be further explained in next chapter.

#twst x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #twst headcanons #octavinelle #azul ashengrotto #sie writes

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fritae · 3 years

Text

The Missing Piece (Ch 14)

Flirt.

gang! au / ceo! au

characters: dabi x f. oc, lov

status: ongoing

read on ao3 here.

a/n: I'm sorry for not updating for a bit, I was busy with finals. But hopefully, I should be posting more often from here on out! I hope you're all doing well in the meantime :)

---

As I make my way to the Blaze today, my conversation with Al this morning is all I can think about.

"What time are you coming home tonight?" I asked her as we both got ready to leave the house. It was rare for us to leave at the same time, Al usually sets out hours earlier.

"Probably 11-ish? The Midnight Show's on break today."

"Really? That's weird. That's never happened before."

"Yeah, we're doing maintenance today so the equipment will need to rest overnight. All our stations are clocking out early."

"How about you?" She asked me as I locked the door behind us.

We pause before our apartment for a moment, as I shrug. "Mr. Dabi needs me today. I'll probably come home late again."

Al nods. "I'll see you tonight!" She calls out before walking in the opposite direction.

"Yeah," I wave back. "But don't wait up for me!"

---

I knock on the door once and turn the knob to Dabi's office.

But my grin falls when I find the room empty.

I sigh.

"Looking for someone?"

I turn around immediately.

"Dabi," my face brightens. He's wearing a simple black suit today. My eyes unconsciously glance at his abdomen, looking for any sign of blood. I hug the morning report closer to my chest when I find none.

"Was waiting for you to come in," He registers the look on my face with a smirk. "That smile for me?"

I roll my eyes and hand him the report as he walks to his desk.

He flips through the documents, eyes skimming the pages. His fingers move up and down the paper casually, rather than with purpose as he usually does.

I take that as a sign he's not too concerned with what's in them.

Let's see.

"Is your wound better now, sir?"

Dabi nods. "Anything urgent on the agenda?"

I shake my head. "At 4pm, you just have-"

"Around midnight, I mean."

I blink.

"Midnight sir?"

He nods, looking up at me. "I've got a deal with a big client today. I'm taking you with me."

Tonight?! My heartrate rises.

"But sir..."

Dabi raises a brow. "What's wrong? Thought you'd be happy."

"Nothing I just..." I try to think of a lie. "Me and Al were planning on having a girl's night."

Dabi closes the folder. "Got it. I'll try and schedule you in advance next time then." He doesn't seem upset at all but I don't let it go.

"No! I mean, it's okay, you come first. I'm sure she'll understand."

"I'm going anyway, Rina. There'll be other opportunities for you to come along. I don't need you there, I just thought you'd wanna be better acquainted with business."

"I am," I insist. "I'll come with you. Al can wait."

Dabi tilts his head. "You say you two are friends but who'd rather hang out with their boss than your friend?"

"We've grown distant a bit since I've left NNTV," I tell him honestly.

Of course, there's more. But there was no way Dabi would stay silent if he found out. The problem is... would I have another chance to do what I was planning on doing tonight?

I bite my lip.

It's okay, I can still make it afterward.

If it takes too long, I'll tell Dabi I need to leave early.

But Dabi is already suspicious.

"Wouldn't this be the perfect opportunity to patch things up then?"

Why's he suddenly asking so many questions.

"Dabi-"

"Are you friends or not?"

"We are. I think. I just haven't been feeling it lately. I don't know, maybe it's because we haven't really spoken with each other in so long."

He stands up and steps closer to me, forcing me to take a step back. "I think there's more to it than that." He eyes me with amusement. "Why do those pretty eyes look scared?"

I blush and my back hits the wall.

Can he not change up on me so fast?

"I think you're keeping things from me, princess."

There's a playful smirk on his lips as he places his hand against the wall, leaning in closer. "What are we gonna do about that?"

"Look who's talking," I cross my arms.

"And here I thought I was making your day."

I feel his breath against my skin and it makes me grow bold.

"You tryna make me happy or something?" I tease gently.

"If you'll make it worth my while."

"How so? Big boy couldn't even handle a hug."

A deep chuckle comes out of Dabi's mouth.

"Let's see how much you can handle then, princess."

A fire dances in my stomach at his words. Where is this Dabi coming from? The casual flirting. The mischief in his eyes.

But before I can discover what he means, he pulls away from me, a fake serious expression on his face and adds: "Ah. When you don't have a girls night planned, that is."

There's a playful banter in his voice that I love.

It reminds me of the Dabi I first met.

Suddenly, I hear Atsuhiro behind the door.

"Dabi, we on for tonight?" He calls out.

Dabi's eyes flit from the door to me.

"Would ya look at that? Guess I'm having a boys night."

"No," I immediately frown. "You promised."

Dabi laughs. "Get out of here with that bullshit, I don't make promises."

"Dabi, we out? Or are you taking Jin today?" Atsuhiro knocks again.

"Now you do," I tell him seriously. "You've taken them before, it's my turn."

"Is it though?" He scratches his head. "I thought it was girls night."

Atsuhiro knocks harder. "Dabi, you there?"

"I won't speak to you again." I narrow my eyes. "That's a promise. You can't bring this up and then say no."

"Wait, wait let's get something straight, princess. I brought it up and you said no."

"Dabi!" I groan.

"Rina," He whines, mocking me.

Its strange seeing Dabi like this but it excites me.

More so that he won't let Atsuhiro in.

"You won't regret it," I whisper. "Promise."

He considers my words.

"You sure you want to come?"

"Yes!"

"What are you gonna tell your friend?"

"I'm working late."

"Bad girl." He shakes his head in mock disappointment. "I didn't take you for a liar."

"Guess you should know me better," I tilt my head, my lips curling at the hint in my tone.

"Careful now," His voice gets deeper when my fingers find his tie. "You know what happens when you get too close to fire?"

I remember the Dabi in the car, who pulled back as soon as I touched him, and this Dabi - who teases and pulls me close then pushes me away. I wonder what's different. What makes one come out or the other.

"Maybe I want to see what it'll do."

I don't miss the way Dabi's eyes darken.

But before he could respond, Atsuhiro bangs on the door.

"Hey boss, you-"

Dabi's grin falls.

"I'm not fucking taking you tonight!" Dabi growls at the door. "If I don't answer, I'm doing something, how about you calm the fuck down?"

There's a pause at the door and then a low "Okay" that makes my heart clench.

Dabi turns back to me. "Now-"

"Wait now I feel bad," I look at the door. "It looks like he really wanted to go, why'd you have to say it like that?" I pout.

Dabi rolls his eyes and decides to pull sway completely. The mischief in his eyes is gone. Instead, there's a bored and slightly irritated expression. He goes and sits on the sofa, spreading himself out.

"Princess, I don't have time for this, are you coming or sh-"

"Yes, yes I'm coming."

"Then don't fucking worry about him."

#dabi angst #dabi fluff #dabi x oc #dabi #dabi fanfic #dabi fic #touya todoroki #dabi x female reader #bnha #league of villains

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enbeast · 4 years

Conversation

hey yall I noticed that there don't appear to be any transcripts for A Study In Ichor, so I figured I'd type some up, please note I am literally just going off the audio and I might get some stuff wrong.

mission 1

:readmore:

CLIP ONE

Workhouse Owner (WO): RUN FASTER, WORKER FIVE, THAT TREADMILL WON'T TURN ITSELF. As you can see, Master Yao, our workhouse not only provides food and shelter for three hundred inmates but makes a healthy profit too. For example, Worker Five has been running on one of Cubbad's “treadmills” for a mere twelve hours today and has already milled five hundred pounds of flour. Got the odd nail in it but it's good enough for the Rutherhive slums [laughs]

Sam Yao (SY): Twelve hours? Without a break?

WO: The alternative of life on the streets is an excellent motivator. And with your investment we will be able to build even more machinery, maybe even increase rations to three bowls of gruel a day.

SY: I want to use my inheritance for good, and if I'm honest, I have some concerns about your worker's wellbeing.

WO: Oooh I seee~ Yes, I suppose it is rather fashionable nowadays to worry about unfortunates, but I assure you Master Yao, once you've had to make your way in the world, like myself or your uncle, a fine man, you'll learn that revenue is the important thing, not how it's made.

(note, as Sam talks there approaching footsteps)

SY: Surely, there's a way to- OW!

WO: YOU THERE, IN THE CAP, watch where you're going, you just ran into a potential investor. Where's your worker number?

Pick pocket (PP): (in a stilted cockney accent) Sorry, Guv'ner.

SY: No, no, it's fine, I was in the way.

WO: It is not fine. Young lady, break time isn't for another three hours. Get back to work. (retreating footsteps from PP) I'm dreadfully sorry, Master Yao, this workhouse is full of ingrates.

SY: My watch! It's gone, the chain's been snapped...

WO: That worker stole it, she's a pickpocket! Worker Five get off that treadmill and chase after her DON'T COME BACK WITHOUT THAT WATCH!

SY: Uh, I'll come with you, Worker Five, I don't want to make a fuss, but that watch is important to me. Come on, let's run.

CLIP TWO:

SY: Hey, mind your step, Worker Five, I've heard about this, rows of people crushing animal bones to make fertiliser. Ugh, the smell is awful. Pickpocket just ran out into the street, we've got to follow her! Five, I hope you don't mind if I call you Five, through that door! (sound of door opening) There! I see her, she's heading towards the Temm's tunnel, it goes under the river from here to Whopee, an engineering marvel- a-apparently, my uncle's an engineer, he's building an underground railway. I try to keep up with the industry but... It doesn't come naturally... I mean, I-I know the tunnel was built using Bruno Cockren's tunnelling shield but I still barely understand what that even is, I don't ac-ARGH! Oh! (gasping) Five! If you hadn't pulled me aside that horse and cart would have run me over! Ugh, I-I'm sorry, I should have been paying attention, but well I-I don't often get to talk to anyone who isn't my uncle, or someone who's interested in my inheritance... Not that I need all that money, of course. I just want to be sure it's going to help people, it's what my parents would have wanted. That's why the watch is so important to me, it was the last thing they ever gave me before they died. Reminds me of what's important. If, if it was any other watch, I'd... just have let that pickpocket keep it, I'm sure she needs it more than I do... Ah, she's just hopped the barrier at the Temm's tunnel, it's in that round red brick building the entrance shaft is underneath, come on, Five, let's experience this engineering marvel first-hand, quickly, before we lose her!

CLIP THREE

SY: Ah, this tunnel is incredible, can you believe we're RUNNING under the Temms, makes me feel a bit funny... Mind you, we're here now that it's safe, uh, some of the people that built it died in the flood... Oh! Maybe I should spend my inheritance on something that'll make projects like this safer for workers, what do you reckon Five? Oh, Oh no... The pickpocket's already climbing the stairs! Ah- she's getting away! (panting) Whopping's all alleys, if she slips down a back street, we'll never find her! Up the stairs! Run!

CLIP FOUR

SY: (panting) And we're out of the tunnel, the pickpocket just ducked down that alley, after her. (Running sounds) Uh, we've got you cornered, now please. Give me my watch back.

Amelia Spens, formerly known as the Pickpocket (AS): Oh, I don't think so. Lads! (sounds of several sets of footsteps closing in) You're surrounded.

SY: Five, it's a gang of pickpockets.

AS: I'd have been happy with just the watch, but since you followed me, allow me to introduce the Abel Street Gang, they're all over the rooftops and they've all got knives.

SY: Please, don't hurt us, Five here has nothing to do with this!

AS: There'll be no need for bloodshed as long as you both give me all the money you're carrying.

SY: Five doesn't have anything, but, uh, (mumbling, followed by the sound of a heavy bag of coins hitting the ground) That's all of mine.

AS: W-he-hell, aren't we the wealthy one.

SY: I-I've got more! Lots more! And I'll give it to you, I promise, just please return the watch. It's my most treasured possession.

AS: I see! Not an especially experienced negotiator, are you. Hmm, let's take a look at this watch, see what's so special about it. Hmm, pearl face, silver plating, and... an engraving...

SY: It's uh... it's Chinese, those are my parent's names, and that's mine. Sam Yao.

AS: Y-you're not even going to try and make up an identity? What- (laughing) You're lucky I'm just a pickpocket and not someone REALLY nefarious, I- Helloo, what's this? (music starts playing)

SY: There's a tiny music box behind the face, that melody was special to them.

AS: Ooh, a bit twee if you ask me.

SY: So you'll give it back?

AS: I might have sold it back to you for a few sovereigns before you told me who you were, but as my luck would have it there just happens to be something that only you can do for me, Sam Yao. Your uncle's digging a railway underneath London, isn't he?

SY: H-how did you know that?

AS: I read the Society Pages, in my line of work one needs to know who's on course to inherit what fortune, and which Saloons they're likely to fall out of after one too many brandies.

SY: My fortunes from my parents, not my uncle.

AS: Yes, but you're his ward, or at least you were until you came of age recently, correct?

SY: Yes.

AS: There's something I want to show you. Follow me and keep up the pace. There are far more unsavoury types than me in Whopping and they'll take more than your watch. Run!

CLIP FIVE

SY: What's your name?

AS: I'm not telling you my real one, but you can call me Amelia.

SY: Uh, if you don't mind me saying, Amelia, you're quite well spoken for a pickpocket.

AS: Well, even an educated woman is not replete with options in this day and age. We might have a woman on the throne but I had to choose between penury, marriage to a seventy year old rector, or this.

SY: Well, it's not easy for me either, I'm lucky I have money because, well, being Chinese, people have misconceptions.

AS: Yes, you really should choose your friends wisely. Down this side street.

SY: Ugh, Mm. What IS that smell?

AS: Cover your mouths with your handkerchiefs, both of you.

SY: It's alright, Five, you can use mine.

AS: The smell is coming from that huge pipe, you see the emblem embossed on it?

SY: Ah! It's from my uncle's engineering company!

AS: That's right. The pipe is a ventilation shaft from his railway tunnel, now let's get away from it so we can breathe.

SY: (Gasping) Whoah, Oh that's better. What is going on down there?

AS: That's what I want you to find out.

WO (distant): MASTER YAO! WORKER FIVE!

SY: Ugh, it's the workhouse owner.

WO: (approaching footsteps) (panting) Master Yao, I followed you all the way from Rutherhive, one of my workers told me this woman is actually part of the Abel Street Gang! She only came to the workhouse to target you.

AS: This worker, was he a handsome fellow? Smarmy grin?

WO: That's right!

AS: Brent. (Sigh) That'll teach me to use former paramours as spies. Fine. (gun clicking) Hands up!

SY: Amelia! Don't shoot him!

AS: I'm not not aiming it at him, Sam, I'm aiming it at you.

WO: Steady on!

AS: Mr Workhouse Owner, unless you want future investors to know you got this one killed, I'd advise you to stop following us. Sam, Five, come with me or I'll shoot you both. Run!

CLIP SIX

AS: We lost the Workhouse owner, time to put this away (clicking sound)

SY: We would have come with you, Amelia, there was no need for the gun!

AS: Don't tell me how to take a hostage. Now listen carefully, for reasons that elude me, not everyone who falls on hard times opts for criminality, some people would honestly rather perform manual labour, and your uncle happens to be a proliferate employer of such eccentrics. I wouldn't care, except that many of his employees have family in the Abel Street Gang.

SY: I can ask my uncle to pay them more. But... He doesn't really listen to me. I'm Rather naive, apparently.

AS: Well, fortunately I have no need of your dreadful negotiating skills, I need you to solve an even stickier problem. Several of your uncle's workers have gone missing. Even though I've repeatedly explained to my gang that it's a waste of time caring about anything besides one's self, they're refusing to work until they learn what's happened to their loved ones. It's hurting my bottom line.

SY: That's awful... For the workers.

AS: Ahh, they're probably dead. If WE can barely breathe the noxious fumes near the ventilation shafts, what do you think it's like underground?

SY: I can't imagine! Those poor people... I'll stop what's happening, I promise, even if I have to spend every last penny of my inheritance.

AS: Do that and I'll give you your watch back.

SY: It's a deal.

AS: Mm, my favourite words. Righto, well, if that's settled then I'm off. There's a debutante ball this evening and I need to be in good time if I'm going to harvest some pearls. (retreating footsteps)

SY: There she goes. Look, Five, ah, I feel a bit awkward asking you this, but, would you maybe consider working with me? You were quick out there, really impressive, I've just moved into a house by myself and I could do with a hand. I promise it'll be a lot easier than the workhouse. I know it's been a funny old day, but for me it's actually been nice having someone to talk to. Talk at. Sorry, I know I go on a bit. But if you want to let's shake on it. You did save my life. Great! Now, I'm starving, how about some steak and oyster pie? Maybe we'll come up with some ideas about what happened to those missing workers over dinner., then tomorrow, we'll visit my uncle. Lord Earnest Van Ark.

#A study in ichor #ASII #zr #s2s #master yao #sam yao #worker five #amelia spens #transcript #ASII M1

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holy-fate-worse-than-death · 5 years

Text

Okay, hear me out

The Outlaws re-form but it's just Jason Todd and Harley Quinn running around like chaotic bisexual messes working on their unresolved trauma and identity issues, while Poison Ivy is the Tired Lesbian Mom Friend™ trying to keep them all together.

So here's the set-up:

Via Roy's connection to Killer Croc (and yes Roy is definitely alive in this one, fuck you Tom King) Roy and Jason end up working with Harley and Pam.

It's supposed to be a one-time thing, but when Roy hangs up his quiver to be a Hot Single Dad™, Jason finds himself in need of some help, and he doesn't really have anyone else to ask.

This ties into the idea that Jason combats his social isolation by somewhat accidentally forming teams (eg Outlaws 1.0 and 2.0) that are meant to be short-term alliances but inadvertently become like family.

Ideas I have about this AU:

- Harley and Pam are absolutely canon. Not just queerbaiting where they're a bit too close to be friends. They kiss, they call each other "girlfriends" and Jason is absolutely beating the shit out of anyone who says anything remotely homophobic

- Harley and Pam definitely encourage Jason to admit his feelings for Roy (which they know about before Jason does), and eventually there's a lot of Jason and Roy being perfect gay dads

- Harley and Pam definitely babysit Lian at some point when Jason needs Roy to come out of retirement for a mission that only he can do (which also doubles as an excuse for a whole lot of sexual tension, e.g. "I miss spending time with you"-type stuff), and although Roy is incredibly skeptical, it actually works out really well

- Not only are Harley and Pam great babysitters, Roy feels empowered to start working on tech for the new Outlaws and he works as their own version of Oracle; gathering intel, sending them on missions, etc. This is kinda similar to the role he took on in Red Hood/Arsenal (2013), and it allows him to feel a sense of purpose and connection to his superhero days without feeling like he's neglecting Lian. (It's also a great excuse to spend a lot more time around Jason, if you catch my meaning)

- I know some people really don't fuck with the idea of Harley and Jason interacting, but I actually think it would work really well. We already saw somewhat of a precedent in Red Hood/Arsenal (2013) when Jason was trying to connect with Duela Dent (AKA Joker's Daughter). He's able to be compassionate towards her and connect with her despite the fact that she's literally wearing the Joker's rotting skin as a mask

- I think a similar relationship between Harley and Jason would be really healing for both of them, because it allows them to be people who form relationships that aren't necessarily decided by their trauma. I think there were absolutely points in Jason's life where he couldn't have been friends with Harley, and points in Harley's life where she couldn't have been friends with Jason, because of how much they remind each other of Joker. But Jay and Harley being able to have that friendship, and find common ground in other aspects of their identity (in the case of this AU the fact that they're both LGBT+ and don't adhere to Batman or the Justice League's moral standards), means that they've moved beyond their trauma and don't always see the Joker in everyone

- Obviously there'll still be initial growing pains, but I don't think the focus of this story should be on the Joker or any clown-related trauma. At a certain point, trauma just isn't a personality trait and it certainly shouldn't make up the majority of either Harley or Jason's personalities. They're both so much more than that

- At some point later in the story, however, there would be a situation were Harley and Jason come across the Joker and have to fight him. There's an unspoken tension because Jason is worried that Harley is worried that Jason can't handle it; and Harley is worried that Jason is worried that she's going to go back to the Joker. But they're in such an intense situation that they have no choice but to trust each other and trust the friendship they've built, and in the end they save the day because they were able to do that, which strengthens their friendship even further

- Pam routinely makes good points about radical environmentalism, and there are throwaway gags about how -- while the Outlaws primarily do the vigilante work that's too dirty for the Justice League -- they also occasionally break into animal testing facilities or sabotage coal mines/big businesses/other environmentally-damaging institutions

- There are regular cameos from other grey-area vigilantes (e.g. other former Suicide Squad members) and this story really tries to delve into the complexities of morality and why people do things that appear "criminal". It's mainly about dispelling myths and reducing stigma surrounding things like criminal behaviour, mental illness and addiction

- There's a cameo appearance from Killer Croc that deals with addiction and redemption, especially through Roy and KC's friendship

- KC is just so fucking proud that Roy is a dad, and there's probably a cute moment at some point along the lines of, "I may be a croc, but these sure aren't crocodile tears"

- Because this is my AU and I can do anything I want, I'd also like to see this story involve Dr Victoria October. I love her so much, she's one of the most underrated characters in all of DC, and I feel like a snarky, middle-aged trans woman would really round out the gigantic queer mess that this story is

- They come to Dr October for advice in a case that involves biomedical science of some kind, and it's meant to be a one-off. But then Jason gets injured a couple weeks later and Harley and Pam don't know where else to take him

- Victoria and Basil (Clayface) are definitely still dating in this one, and occasionally the Outlaws will team up with Basil for a case (although he's mostly in retirement while Victoria tries to figure out how to stop his powers from causing his brain to deteriorate like in Detective Comics (2016))

- Between Roy and Dr October the Outlaws end up with better tech than Batman a lot of the time

- Victoria is absolutely horrendous with kids but regularly finds herself having to discuss plans and gadgets in person with Roy, so she ends up sitting in his living room surrounded by children's toys, sipping tea and resisting the urge to glare at the adorable, gurgling baby in front of her

- She gets left with Lian at one point while Roy runs off to save Jason's ass, and it basically goes down like this:

- Croc loves babies and the first time Lian sees him she cries (Croc probably sneaks up from the sewers to talk to Roy about something while he's out for a walk with Lian in one of those cute chest harnesses you use to carry babies). Croc is so hurt that she's scared of him

- As she grows older she stops being scared and ends up fascinated by his shiny scales and big pointy teeth

- I'd also like Lex Luthor to be involved in this at some point. I'm thinking that maybe this could slot into the New 52 canon pretty well. Maybe the Roy in this story is the "real" Roy and the one that died at Sanctuary was a LexCorp clone. I'm also just really into this idea because I like Roy's robot arm and I think portraying those types of disabilities is really important and cool. Plus, it separates him from the other archers in DC and kinda epitomises the fact that he's the "tech" guy

Okay that's all I can think of right now, but this AU is basically my OTP + my other OTP + my other favourite characters

... Guess this is another fanfiction I gotta write lol

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

James & Ava

James: [so obviously all through this party whenever we can we're saying thanks/love you/sorry etc at relevant points via little touches but there hasn't been much time with all the kid chaos & we gotta use our words now] James: Thank you Ava: Don't mention it, I had a good time Ava: think the girls did too 😌 James: because of you James: which is why I had to mention it Ava: It's okay, making cupcakes and crafts was bound to be more fun than my history essay Ava: easy choice, really Ava: how are you now? apart from exhausted James: still astonished that Teddy helped to clear up, even though your cousin did most of it Ava: it's amazing what a boy will do to keep a girl happy, right James: whatever you're hinting at, I'll do it Ava: 😱 do you think I'm that sort of girl?! 😂 James: I don't think I'm exhausted enough to fall into the trap of such a clearly trick question Ava: Then maybe you didn't party/clean hard enough 🤔 James: I'll happily send you evidence of me scrubbing the bath until it's less blue if you like James: but somehow I doubt that is what you're contemplating Ava: An interesting proposition Ava: but who decided baths had to be white anyway Ava: I say keep it James: hopefully whoever rents this place after we've gone will agree with you Ava: I'll bring 'round the spare bicarb, that'll work James: there'll be some in the cupboard, from all the baking recipes Jay's school sends insisting she needs it Ava: I guess I'll have to think of another excuse to come see you soon then James: wanting to is enough Ava: I'd have to be a fool to not want that James: though after today, less so James: I'm very sorry about my family Ava: They aren't your fault James: nevertheless James: & speaking of excuses, my sister told me she's pregnant again as one for her behaviour before I could properly challenge her for it Ava: Oh that's a shame, I could have implied she was just fat by asking Ava: but no, really Ava: I can handle it, it's not as if my family are particularly supportive about us either James: you'll have other chances before her official announcement, I'm sure Ava: not my style Ava: it'll be nice, for the girls to have more cousins their age James: but to hear her speak, there's already a very distinct possibility that this child has surpassed every single one of their age appropriate milestones whilst in utero Ava: 🙄 Ava: if anything that just means more pain on the way out, no Ava: not that underdone is the preference but you know James: she'll have scheduled the caesarean the moment there was evidence of a pink line Ava: guess she's confident in her ab-building post-baby workout then James: confidence has never been lacking as far as she's concerned Ava: I can tell Ava: like your dad, like you said James: yes Ava: I'm sorry Ava: that they tried to...whatever they were attempting to do, or if it was even intentional behaviour Ava: but I think the party still went well where it mattered James: there isn't a single thing for you to apologise for James: it did go well Ava: I'm not trying to add more tension or friction to proceedings when it already comes so naturally James: you didn't, in fact, by being there you managed to diffuse it James: I would have been a lot more stressed had you not been Ava: Good Ava: and she didn't show up Ava: so what more could we ask for James: my parents & sister following suit perhaps James: but that won't be much to ask once we move further than a stone's throw out of their shadow Ava: leaving the postcode for less than Monaco? Ava: unlikely Ava: I keep looking at places Ava: everything goes so fast, it's crazy, by the time I go to send the link, it's gone James: I've secured a viewing after work for the day after tomorrow, if you're free you're more than welcome to come James: [sends her a link] Ava: Wow, that's so exciting Ava: are you excited James: I'm cautiously optimistic Ava: That's such a you way to put it 😊 James: oh is it? Ava: Yes Ava: I like it James: I like that you're unabashed in your excitement Ava: You deserve exciting things to be happening Ava: there's nothing better than a new place for a fresh start James: if it were that simple, I'd agree with you that nothing could be better Ava: No, I know Ava: new floors and four walls doesn't fix everything Ava: but it is something you CAN do Ava: along with all the things you already are, and continue to do James: I want you to be right, but I can't help but feel that it's just a new location to hide in, because of all the things I can't change Ava: You aren't the one that ran away Ava: and no one can say that Ava: but you're better, even without the comparison to her which leaves you looking practically saint-like James: only because there is no amount of distance I can put between your brother & I which would alter the facts or the future as it is shaping up to be Ava: he's being so Ava: stubborn and stupid James: all day my thoughts kept circling back to the idea that this time next year everything could be different James: she might not be here James: I don't know what to do Ava: That won't happen Ava: we won't let it James: you wanting it to be a promise you can make or me wanting what you're saying to be true might not be enough James: I know how stubborn he is Ava: that doesn't mean that he can make a judge agree with him Ava: neither does the fact he's training to do as much Ava: you've raised her, you're her dad James: that alone doesn't mean I can guarantee anything either James: while raising her I've made a lot of mistakes Ava: no Ava: not nowhere near enough or the type that warrants anyone taking her away James: you didn't know me before rehab Ava: neither did my brother Ava: who's he going to call as a character witness, Chloe? James: he did, but I'll admit that the past is less of a pressing concern right now compared to the struggle of the present James: & the ease of getting wasted Ava: Hardly Ava: what kind of friend was he by that point Ava: he didn't tell you that Chloe had told him he was the father before you, did he? Ava: he has no room to judge, on any level Ava: he still does worse James: regardless, I can't blame him for judging me James: because I don't think there's worse than the things I consider doing whenever there's the briefest moment such as this, when they're asleep James: recovery is constant & truly exhausting Ava: Maybe you can't, but I can Ava: exactly Ava: it shows strength of character Ava: I'm just saying, if he takes it there, which, I'd hope not but no, I can't even pretend to promise that right now Ava: he can't be throwing around those sort of accusations like he's got nothing that would look worse under scrutiny James: it's a weakness of character James: & I don't want my flaws to extend to driving any kind of wedge between you & your brother James: or to have to expose any of his, irrespective of what they are James: being free of her finally means I no longer have to play any of those games Ava: admitting and dealing with it isn't Ava: I know Ava: it's horrible to think about, especially when it is so soon after she left, and how that has barely registered Ava: but if you have to, you'll do whatever you need to, right Ava: I mean, as long as it doesn't hurt her, then you have to James: I don't want to do anything that hurts you either Ava: It's not about me though James: he's your brother Ava: That doesn't mean I'm going to endorse his bad choices Ava: not for an easy life Ava: and not at the expense of yours, or Jay's, of course James: they aren't choices any of us should have to make Ava: no, we shouldn't Ava: but he has to be on board with that too Ava: he can't rush and force what he thinks he wants, without any regard for the rest Ava: just because the whole situation was fucked from the start James: he wants to meet her, I keep saying no Ava: Have you told her anything yet? Ava: Not saying 'yet' like you need to or there's a timescale here, you know what I'm trying to ask James: if there were a right time, it wouldn't be now James: she's coping well with her mother's absence but she's nevertheless having to cope James: I'm not going to give her something else to contend with until circumstances change, whether that's because of your brother or a more positive development Ava: Totally Ava: it's a lot already Ava: he should be thinking the same way James: he seems to, when we speak about it James: I can't blame him for wanting to get to know her though James: clearly that's my dad bias but anyone who doesn't is missing out Ava: she's a good kid James: you're good with her & for her James: I can't remember the last time she was as happy as she's been over the last few days Ava: that makes me happy too James: oh good, because I haven't yet asked how you are James: I'm sorry Ava: don't be James: it's important James: my family believes I see you as an unpaid problem solver & I have no desire to prove them right to any degree Ava: you know that I know that that's not how it is though Ava: I understand, you've got way too much going on in your head right now to be too concerned with the pleasantries Ava: I can do without James: just because you can doesn't mean you should James: this matters to me, you, us James: we're not an us if it's just me using you as a sounding board Ava: You don't Ava: and I know it matters because you wouldn't trust me with any of this if it didn't Ava: you've been there for me whenever I've needed you too, my problems are just smaller scale, on the whole Ava: doesn't make it one-sided James: okay James: as long as you know Ava: I promise Ava: I wouldn't hate some alone time with you soon though James: how soon can you do? Ava: I have to go to Dublin this weekend Ava: but Thursday I don't have any afternoon lessons, so if you could do something then? James: I'll pick you up James: if necessary I'll do extra work when you're in Dublin Ava: you're so lovely James: no, I missed you the second you left, that's all Ava: I missed you too Ava: not being able to talk properly Ava: I hate that about parties James: me too James: but you were a vision in your party outfit Ava: you think so? Ava: you can be a monster again any time you like 😋 James: yes, I very much think so James: you looked beautiful Ava: you'll make me blush James: I hope so, despite not being there to see it Ava: in terms of photographic evidence, definitely more fun than the clean bath James: unless I were in it, alas I'm not sure I'd fit Ava: Oh babe that's so sad Ava: the world doesn't cater to people your size, how rude 🥺 James: I'll try if you promise to drop whatever you're doing & help free me should the unthinkable occur James: & thankfully hotels do, so I won't have to see that face on Thursday Ava: Of course Ava: we have to protect your modesty and decency at all costs 🤭 Ava: hotel, you say? James: yes, that way we'll both fit James: without any kind of farce or firefighters getting involved Ava: I did say alone time Ava: no 🚓 🚑 🚒 allowed James: not in this chapter, I promise James: it's not that kind of book Ava: It doesn't have to be tasteful Ava: I don't think the readers will mind James: I'll bear that in mind Ava: Please do James: while I've got things under consideration, would you like to stay over? James: I can arrange taking you to school on Friday morning Ava: Um, yes Ava: of course James: okay, I'll ask Diana to watch the girls James: after today it's the least she can do Ava: Is she usually better when I'm not there? James: no James: she'll happily find a grievance with whoever is Ava: well, at least it isn't personal Ava: don't know if that's worse, actually James: plenty were tailored to you personally if that makes you feel any better Ava: it's understandable, I suppose Ava: if I was who they thought I was James: my ex wife was everything they thought she was & it did nothing to help me Ava: yeah James: I have my opinions on my sister's husband & I keep them to myself Ava: he wasn't there, was he? James: there's a slim chance you'll be able to meet him at her baby shower, but he wasn't at the last one Ava: I'm sure the chances I'll be invited are even slimmer Ava: sounds delightful though James: oh she'll invite you, if only to show you how a party should be thrown Ava: 😏 Ava: it's a good thing I already know baby shower etiquette then Ava: been to enough James: you'll have to teach me what it is Ava: Very modern of her to want any men there Ava: usually they object on the fact of it being 'women's business' and it's like a hen party with no alcohol James: Matilda's & Jay's were both like that Ava: Yeah, I can see that James: there was obviously champagne though James: I assumed that was why I wasn't invited Ava: Oh yeah, the other guests can get hammered Ava: and the mum has to lowkey cry about it the whole time, but all the gifts and attention you get should really make up for it Ava: they're weird, honestly, another excuse for all of the above James: the horrific flashbacks of said crying & attention have returned to me, thank you for that Ava: 😬 Ava: you can have a baby shower now if you would like Ava: I'll look up all the ridiculous games Ava: you earnt it James: you're the one who has earned anything you'd like James: there wouldn't have even been a party today if not for all the work you put in Ava: all I like is being with you Ava: it was worth it James: you know I don't want you to leave, it upsets me that you're not here now Ava: Same Ava: I wish I could be James: did you finish your homework? Ava: not quite, my parents wanted to talk to me for ages Ava: which really goes against their concerns being my schoolwork but there we go James: well, I'm very concerned about your schoolwork & ensuring you don't have to go to Kings after all, so if there's anything I can do to help Ava: I'll tell them Ava: that will no doubt but their mind at ease Ava: it's not even that hard, I'm just lacking motivation James: of course James: I went there too, none of the work was ever that hard Ava: they'd like you to believe the oxbridge admissions day others but Ava: we know the truth James: I'd like to know what would motivate you Ava: Well Ava: maybe we could do lunch or something before Thursday Ava: that is forever away James: it certainly does feel like it Ava: or we can walk Frank or I'll come 'round for dinner Ava: just say I can see you before then and I'll get it done James: we can do every single one of those things once you have Ava: 😍 Ava: Okay, I'll do it Ava: as you're so inspirational James: as we've discussed, I don't want things to be one sided James: & you're the most encouraging person I've ever met James: I've never found someone to be this stimulating before, it's a remarkably unfair contest for my capabilities James: thus I'm motivated to keep motivating you Ava: I love being with you so much James Ava: I can't wait for your life to be exactly what you want it Ava: it is going to happen, I'm so sure of it James: before you I didn't even know how my life could hypothetically be bearable, never mind thinking about how I may have wanted it in its ideal James: you build character, Ava James: I love you so much, but also I can stand who I am now, with you Ava: you're doing all the work though Ava: to totally restart, that's amazing you know Ava: and I love you too James: because you prompted it Ava: as long as you're taking your credit too, I can deal with that James: I need you to know that I couldn't do this without you, back then or now James: & how much I appreciate you is in line with that Ava: Good thing you've got me Ava: and good thing that's what we both want Ava: everything else we can work out together James: it's the most perfect thing James: hence I'm still working out how to do any of it justice with a novel Ava: Words are your speciality Ava: even if it takes a lifetime, that's time we have James: & if nothing else it puts your current writer's block into perspective James: you definitely won't be forced to do homework forever Ava: 😅 very true James: because of course my struggle is consistently greater than yours, darling James: there's a long line of people waiting to tell us, lest we forget Ava: but of course Ava: only have to worry about when my next assignment is due and how to wear my hair, thank god 💁 James: thank god Jay didn't insist you turn yours blue as well James: getting you sent home for violating the dress code wouldn't endear your parents to me Ava: I don't think I'd look anywhere as near as cool Ava: talk about a real party faux pas James: as far as she's concerned you're incapable of committing one, or any wrong at all Ava: no pressure 😅 Ava: she's so cute Ava: and funny James: she wants to get her hair cut next, as long as you say you like it when I eventually take her, you'll continue to be her favourite person Ava: Ooh, that's a big one Ava: how is dad feeling about it? James: hypothetically less hair to fight to get a brush through sounds like a fantastic idea James: but actually, I don't know Ava: she'll love it Ava: you will too Ava: though it'll be a total shock James: I'll be the sentimental fool, frantically trying to catch a lock to keep before it hits the floor, undoubtedly Ava: 🥺 You're adorable Ava: at least Mattie has a way to before her first haircut, a reprieve for you James: it'll make her happy, that's what I should focus on, I know Ava: you're still allowed to feel a type of way about it Ava: that's what dads are for James: mine isn't the demonstrative type, unless disappointment is what he wishes to convey, but yes James: I don't look to him for parenting advice Ava: You're already better Ava: and that can be a comfort now, instead of how he is being detrimental to you James: thank you James: all I ask is that you don't also decide to change how you wear your hair in the near future please, there are only so many changes I can endure regardless of whether they're positive or negative Ava: Okay, I can promise that Ava: just for you James: well in that case, just for you, I'll ignore the weather forecast & walk Frank tomorrow Ava: 😁 Ava: I wish you could come to Dublin too Ava: we'll be having bonfire night James: one day, I can promise that Ava: I know, it's too soon Ava: I'll buy sparklers, when I get back James: I look forward to it Ava: I won't bring back a jacket potato even though they're so much better off the fire James: true, I remember it being one of the main merits of scouts Ava: you were a scout? 😊 James: yes James: I did my D of E as well Ava: That tracks Ava: you're always prepared James: I don't know about that Ava: Are you suggesting that the D of E was in fact a massive waste of time? 🤔😱 James: I'm not suggesting anything until they approach me with whatever package they deem appropriate in order to secure a glowing endorsement James: King's have certainly benefited from having me on side, in spite of losing you to more worthy rivals Ava: Smart 😏 Ava: You did almost convince me, and in a way, you still did, just not to their benefit James: I can't in good conscience take credit for the persuasive charm of The Vault James: or pretend as though I wasn't the one being utterly convinced by you Ava: Of course, those dizzying highs are unparalleled and cannot be replicated anywhere else Ava: and just as obvious is my conniving seduction of you, as pointed out with pointed looks and silences James: it is a relief to hear that high school wasn't in fact my peak, I'll make sure to really emphasise my superiority in the book's acknowledgements Ava: If you thought it was possible to peak in that school, I'd have no interest in gold-digging you, would I James: nobody is professing that you're good at it, darling James: you'd have been more likely to target my father's bad marriage if so Ava: I'm so sad for myself Ava: tragically bad at it, really James: unfortunately we can't both be figures of pity & I've already been typecast in said role Ava: I'll have to get better at it and be more worthy of scorn James: regardless, there's very little chance they'll improve enough to be worthy of where they've put themselves James: though the mock trial is a kind consideration given that your brother is vying to put me before a real one, I suppose Ava: Thank God they don't know James: my father has already baulked at the idea of us moving, if I have to go to him cap in hand to pay for lawyers James: I dread to think Ava: I still hope they never need to be told Ava: maybe that's foolish at this point but James: if it is, it's a folie à deux James: but once I tell Jay I can hardly swear her to secrecy James: & she does need to be told, my delusion isn't that far reaching Ava: No, true Ava: kids are bad with secrets Ava: and obviously, not the kind of thing to encourage anyway Ava: they won't treat her differently at least, right? Ava: as long as they can keep their talking about it out of her earshot too, I feel that's the best we can hope for James: I'd love to say no, of course they wouldn't Ava: I didn't want to be the one to suggest it Ava: even if slagging off your family might seem like the appropriate course of action right now, not that bitch either James: there's very little you could suggest that my imagination hasn't beaten you to Ava: I know darling Ava: I'm sorry James: I try to console myself with the knowledge that there's a degree of inevitability anyway, look how differently I am treated, without any question of being his flesh & blood James: my family have & always will have their favourites, set in & as immovable as stone Ava: and she does have Chloe's parents, who clearly adore both girls Ava: I only have one set of grandparents Ava: you're right, they're going to act however they choose to act, and they can blame it on what they like but as long as Jay knows it isn't her fault and she is loved by lots of people, then that should be enough, and I'm sure it will be Ava: you've found happiness despite them James: & she will too, I'll make sure of that James: do your parents know? Ava: Yes Ava: he told them at the time, as well Ava: so they were less shocked but obviously still James: I definitely won't be welcome at the bonfire then Ava: It's not your fault Ava: they can't blame you James: it wasn't the first time I'd heard it said that I wasn't her dad either, I could've done something when it was Ava: She's the only one that knew the actual truth Ava: the only one that could say or do anything for definite James: I didn't want to know, that's my fault Ava: Neither did my brother James: we're as bad as each other Ava: It's more complicated than that James: it won't be to Jay Ava: I don't think Jay is going to understand it like that James: what I mean is, all of this should & could've been sorted out a lot sooner Ava: Maybe Ava: but none of you can go back James: no, we can't Ava: All either of you can do is go from here Ava: God knows what Chloe's next move will be James: as yet she isn't making any James: there wasn't even a card Ava: It's insane Ava: it's like she's dead Ava: playing dead, anyway James: that would be preferable James: at least I'd know what to say to Jay if she were Ava: It's so unfair Ava: that she thinks she gets to do this Ava: that she owes them nothing James: she does get to, neither I nor her parents can stop her Ava: If her parents know where she is though Ava: they could take the kids to her Ava: but then, I suppose all that would result in would be trauma for them Ava: for fuck's sake James: precisely, I can't blame them for being terrified of the scene they'd stumble into Ava: the parent that stays always get shit on Ava: it's not right, this is her mess and she's doing nothing to fix it James: I'll gladly fix it for their sakes, that is what's right James: they've been through enough with her Ava: and you'll do a better job than she ever could Ava: it's just frustrating Ava: but I know you know that more than me, and do not need telling remotely just Ava: I feel angry on all your behalves right now James: you don't know what it means to me, how much you care, even if it is distressing & distracting for you right now Ava: I know you want the best for me Ava: but in the grand scheme of things, me fluffing one essay is not actually the big deal any of my family would like to make it so we don't have to have a bigger conversation Ava: this is important, you are James: an assignment isn't the issue, it's that everyone believes you're consistently putting my importance above yours James: & maybe if it's that glaring to all but me they have a point & I am asking too much of you James: leaning on you too hard through this Ava: No, they don't want to see it, because this whole thing, us, makes them uncomfortable Ava: it'd be my business if I did anyway, every person in a relationship I know does that Ava: but it isn't at the cost of me and my importance anyway James: okay Ava: I promise, James James: I'm doing my best Ava: You're doing amazing James: it doesn't feel that way Ava: no Ava: but the girls are gonna grow up happy, and then it'll be worth it James: are they? Ava: Yes James: I want to believe that Ava: You'll get to see Ava: that doubt, of whether you're fucking it all up, is just part and parcel isn't it Ava: but things will get easier too, day to day like James: whether I fuck it all up again you mean, because I actually have for so long Ava: but you're fixing it Ava: that's what really counts James: but it doesn't erase my past mistakes, they count as well James: every slight against Chloé is also one against me because I stood by & let them happen James: I knew where she was, where she could plausibly still be James: & here I am, continuing to do nothing Ava: at the end of the day though Ava: all anyone really wants from their parents is love Ava: knowing that you love and care about and for them, put in that work, that's what counts Ava: she isn't good for them right now, clearly Ava: maybe she does get to just walk away, regardless of it being unfair James: you're right, clearly James: I'm sorry, it's been a really long day Ava: It really has Ava: what are you doing to wind down? James: I don't know James: what do you suggest? Ava: Depends Ava: you could try to fit in your blue bath Ava: cook yourself your favourite food Ava: we could watch a movie or some really mindless trash TV James: Beautiful Creatures or Beastly are supposedly a must for Twilight fans James: if you've seen those, there's also The Mortal Instruments but I'm not sure how many of those books got made into films James: it feels unwise to risk getting invested in a neverending cliffhanger Ava: I think they made that one into a bad TV series too, after the films bombed Ava: could be an exercise in how not to do it Ava: as well as relaxing James: really? James: well that's settled Ava: I bet it has such a sub-par soundtrack too James: compared to what we're used to, what wouldn't be? Ava: Precisely Ava: after the day we've had, can't be dealing with that level of excitement James: enough that I don't immediately fall asleep after pressing play will be fine Ava: I'll fill you in on the travesties if you do James: no, after the day we've had, I want to spend time with you Ava: I love you James: I love you too

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