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#trying to improve my writing cause I still feel pretty insecure about it
fiepige · 6 months
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Summary:
“HOLY SH-” Miles and Gwen simultaneously turned to cover Pav’s mouth so as to not alert the creature in the middle of the carnage below them. The creature either didn’t hear him or it was too preoccupied with whatever it was doing. To his regret Miles soon realized what that was, as another wet snapping noise broke the silence once more. The creature was crouched down on all fours over what Miles assumed was the body of an officer, though it was so mutilated that it was hard to tell for sure. Its head was buried into the chest of the body beneath it, another wet snapping noise emerging as it pulled out a couple of ribs between its bloodied jaws... Or The Spider-Gang goes looking for Hobie. They don’t like what they find.
Hey guys, remember how I mentioned that I was working on a Venom!Hobie fic a while ago? Well the draft is done and so is the first chapter!
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banngtannies · 2 years
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DRABBLE #1
— Pairing: Yandere!vminkook x Female! Reader
— Genre: Mafia au, Yandere
— Summary: Love hurts, it causes anger, jealousy, obsession, why don’t you love me back?
They will do anything to keep you by their side.
— Word count: 3.5K
— Tags/ warnings:  YANDERE THEMES, obsessive behavior, manipulative behavior, talks about murder, self-arm, toxic relationships, manipulation, cursing, mentions of sex, mentions of past bullying in future chapters.
Notes: This is my first time publishing my work. i have never been able to finish something but i finished this one month ago and i’ve been so insecure to post it soooo. i heard it’s good to post something even though you feel like it’s not good enough just to improve in someway! I already have planned the next drabbles. the timeline will jump back and forth and i’m really excited to write the next following parts. Also english is not my first language so please bare with me (but also let me know if you see any mistakes😭) if anyone reads this i hope you enjoy it!
——
You tried to not think about it too much. You tried, as your parents delivered the news, as you saw your sister’s face, the way it started to glow. You try not to think about it too much now, when you see her walking down the aisle, your father carrying her towards her future husband, a proud smile adorning his features.
Your father looks euphoric, invencible. Carries himself like he owns the world. He looks too happy, too happy for someone who just buried his daughter’s future. He ruined her life.
Momentarily, just for a second, you imagine what would happen if you stopped everything. Maybe make a quick distraction, take the gun out of one of the bodyguards, pretend you will shoot yourself or anyone at the wedding if they dare to not let your sister go. Such a morbid thought, maybe if you were brave enough you would stop this. You would’ve planned something, anything, to get your sister out of this situation but you don’t.
You were scared, a coward. But also the mafia was bigger than you. The Jeon’s were bigger than the mafia. and who would dare to go against them? not certainly you.
You feel something wet on your cheeks, pretty sure it was tears, they were already blurring your vision and fogging up your glasses. Your mother lets out a scoff.
“I told you to wear contacts.” but you don’t reply. You don’t even look at her, you keep your eyes on your sister, her shiny long black hair cascading down her back. “Get a hold of yourself. People are watching” she whispers harshly against your ear.
Biting your tongue, you nod.
When your sister gets to the altar, you dig your nails into your skin, your chin bobbling a little. Suddenly you feel an arm graze yours, from the corner of your eye you can see it’s SunHee.
Your one and only friend.
“It’s gonna be alright.” she takes your hand, giving it a squeeze. Your hand trembles against hers. “It’s gonna be okay.”
You let out a breath and swallow the pathetic cry that wants to rip out of your throat.
“Trust me.” she says this time more sternly “Everything will be fine.”
You bob your head and look ahead once again. And as the pastor starts speaking, and seconds turn into hours you realize it’s over. The veil has been lifted.
“Now I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Your sister has been kissed by the devil. There’s no turning back now.
——-
The chattering around you is not big enough to drown your own thoughts. Neither is the champagne that is being passed around. You’re on your second glass on an empty stomach, you’re pretty sure by now you should be fine. Less worried, less anxious. But no, you still feel like a ticking bomb, anxiety crawling all the way up to your chest. You’ve been taking deep breaths ever since you and your family arrived at the wedding reception, tugging the ends of your dress.
You haven’t been able to talk to your sister and you don’t think you will anytime soon. Your mother has been making sure you don’t cross paths with her and if you do, it’s quick glances. Your mother has been glued by your side. You can feel her eyes from the other side of the room, watching you like a hawk.
As another waitress passes by, you extend your hand to take another glass but the tray is pushed out of your way. You recognize those hands.
“I think that’s enough for tonight.” A deep voice says, making you shiver. “Don't serve more to her. Tell that to the others too.”
The waitress nods cordially and continues his way to the other guests.
“Y/N.” The way your name rolls out of his tongue, makes you grimace. You never liked it. It held a distinctive tone, as if talking to a child.
“Taehyung.”
He shifts closer to you. His body heat enfolding yours, you could smell his perfume.
“Are you okay?” he says softly, almost in a murmur.
“No.”
“Do you want to-
You turn your body to him, facing him fully. It caughts him off guard, making him stop on whatever he was about to say.
“Please don’t pretend you care.” and with that you leave, on trembling legs and heavy tears, threatening to spill out from your eyes.
Could this night get any fucking worse?
Making your way to the bathroom, you see another waitress coming from the left and without any much thought you take it from his hand, almost making the man fall on his back.
“S-Sorry.” You whisper dumbly, gripping the tray as if it was some sort of support and continue your way to the bathroom.
You breathe in relief once you see there’s no one there. Putting the tray full of glasses of champagne on the sink, you take two glasses as you settle yourself down on the floor. You drink one instantly, hiccuping after another one.
Your head starts to feel a little fuzzy but you don’t stop, not until there’s only three left and the bright bathroom lights seem brighter than before. You let out a giggle.
Standing up on wobbly legs, you wonder how much time has passed. Maybe not so much, since no one has bothered to get into the bathroom after you got in. Making your way to the door, you struggle to open it, making you frown.
“Stupid door open up.” you mumble while you twist and pull but nothing happens. You keep trying and trying until a silky voice halts your movements.
“Sunflower?”
Your chest feels heavy, like all the air has been sucked out of your lungs and suddenly you feel like throwing up.
“Sunflower?” he hums, making the hairs on your arms stand up, goosebumps covering your skin in seconds. “Are you in trouble,sunflower? do you need my help?”
You stumble back, almost falling on your ass. You feel cold and sweaty. Like needles are penetrating your skin. The handle starts to jiggle.
“Sunflower, i know you’re in there. But don’t worry, darling, i will get you out.”
The handle twists painfully slow as your heart sinks in your chest. Taking a step back this time you do fall. Just in time as he opens the door, his sardonic smile greeting you.
He closes the door behind him and you hear a click.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
The sound of his chelsea boots hitting the marble floor matches the beating of your heart. You’re trembling and all the champagne you’ve drank threatens to spill out of your throat. Soft hands get a hold of your chin, his thumb tentatively running down your throat. You let out a whimper.
“My my, look at you, sunflower. Did you have too much fun?” He giggles sweetly, showing his pearly white teeth and moon eye smile.
To any other person Park jimin was the charming prince, a soft voice with gentle features. He looked so innocent. But for those who belonged in this life knew that looks could be deceiving. He was deadly as he was sweet.
Your lips tremble and you try to get away from his hands but he holds you firmly. His eyes hardening as you try to put some distance between you two.
“Always so stubborn. Do we have to tell every single waiter out there to not serve you alcohol or are you finally gonna behave like the good girl you are?” His thumb presses down harshly on your neck and you wonder if he can feel how fast your heart is beating.
You swallow, your throat feeling dry and rather than answering him, you look at him. You know he’s not done, with the way he’s staring at you, his dark eyes almost burning yours.
“You’re lucky I was the one who found you here and not him. You know that right?” His jaw tenses while he speaks, his plump lips now formed into a thin line. He’s pissed. “Nod if you understand”
And you do, automatically, like a robot.
“Now, sunflower, you’re gonna clean yourself up.” you nod again and the ends of his mouth quirk at that. “You will go out and smile. Maybe laugh a little too. It’s your sister’s wedding, darling. Cheer up. It’s supposed to be fun.”
You shiver at his latest words and you almost tremble. You try to not let it show. How his wording of choice affected you, how you physically revolted at them. But Jimin sees right through you. He always did.
He smiles once again, his fingers gently caressing your face.
“Always so pretty when you cry.” He murmurs softly, his gaze focusing on your face and then it goes lower, stopping at your lips.“See you out there, sunflower. Don’t forget you still owe me a dance.” and with that he leaves.
——
You drank too much. You regret it deeply and now you’re sleepy. Your eyes threaten to close every five minutes, it’s annoying really, trying to keep yourself awake. You have to pinch yourself or dig your nails into your skin, maybe a little pain will wake you up. So you do, you pinch and dig until there’s a red spot on your arm, until it burns.
You don’t stop until you see Sunhee coming your way, her arm entangled with Taehyung's. You stiffen a little.
“You need a bed, immediately.” Says your friend sweetly while she runs her hand through your hair.
She looks at you with so much pity. And you hate it. You know Sunhee truly cares about you, too much, sometimes you feel like a burden. Always by your side, always wiping your tears, always defending you. Sunhee deserved a friend, not someone who needed to be babysat.
She continues to touch you, patting your head lovingly and you don’t miss the way Taehyung eyes her hand, dark orbs observing every movement, the way his hand tightens on her waist, making her stumble back a little, her hand no longer close to reach you.
“You’re messing up her hair, honey. You don’t want Y/N’s head to end up looking like a bird nest, do you?” he tells her with a playful smile, making Sunhee laugh.
She pokes him on the stomach funnily, making him laugh too, but to your ears it doesn’t sound as truthful.
“You’re right, you’re right. Sorry Y/nie.” She says with a cheeky smile and then proceeds to peck her boyfriend’s lips. “I’m gonna get more wine. Do you want some?” Taehyung declines and then Sunhee Looks at you. “Y/N?”
Once again you feel those eyes on you. They’re so heavy. so intense that it makes you breathless. You shake your head and Sunhee nods. “Alright. i’ll be right back.”
When Sunhee leaves, the room feels smaller. Suffocating . You wish you could disappear, you wish you could be invisible. You just wanted to be left alone. Before you knew it, that same perfume invades your senses. He’s so close but you don’t dare to look up.
“Look at me.”
And even though his deep voice gives you goosebumps, you ignore him. You’re tired. So tired.
“The night just stared, YN. don’t be so sulky. I hate seeing you like this” He continues to say, his hand now on your arm and you hate it so much. You hate his body touching yours or the way he talks like he cares, like he’s being sincere. “This is a new beginning for us. For all of us.”
This time you look up, slowly. A small mocking smile adorning your lips.
“There is no us.”
And he mirrors you, his eyes now demonstrating a shine they didn’t have before. He loves your eyes matching his, his heat engulfing yours, the way you talk to him even though it irradiates with dislike. He loves it.
“But there is. There is for me, for Jimin and for him. It has always been an us, and there always will be.”
You press your lips in a tight line. You won’t cry again, not in front of him or them watching.
“Why are you doing this? I thought you were different.” and even though you don’t let your tears fall your voice cracks, betraying you.
He seems taken back for a few seconds, and you swore you could see something else in his eyes besides mirth. But it’s gone as quick as you perceive it.
“I told you I will always be by your side. Didn’t I?”
And before you can reply, Sunhee comes back, drink in her hand and the other around her boyfriend’s neck.
“What are you two talking about? Are you gossiping without me?”
Taehyung eyes you briefly before looking back at his girlfriend, giving her one his usual seductive boxy smiles. He shakes his head and says. “Not at all. Just movies, love.”
—-
Your feet hurt when you go back to the hotel for standing up so much, you’re glad the night is over. Your mother complains beside you, talking about how you didn’t even dare to look at your sister while she was dancing with her now-husband. How disrespectful you were for denying Jimin a dance.
“I didn’t raise you for you to have such poor manners. This is why you’ll never get married, you’re ungrateful and a brat. No one wants to marry a brat.” She barks and huffs but you’re too tired to care.
Also, you’re used to it.
“I’m sorry, mother.”
“You better be.” she spits back and walks ahead of you.
You sigh, your feet hurt so much, this is why you avoid wearing heels. You will never get used to them or the pain that comes with it. You plop yourself down in one of the stool bars located in the lobby, from your peripheral vision you could see your mother getting on the elevator. She didn’t wait for you. Good. You didn’t want to hear anything else that came out of her mouth and also you needed to rest. Just for a few seconds.
Your phone vibrates and you see it’s a message from Sunhee.
Sunhee
did you guys get to the hotel??
Y/N:
yess. we arrived safely.
Sunhee:
Good. see you tomorrow y/nie. sleep well!!
Y/N:
you too. love youuu.
Sunhee:
love you toooooooo.
You smile at her text. What would you do without Sunhee? clicking out of the chat, your heart drops when you see your other unread messages. You don’t dare to reply. He’s muted for a reason and it will stay that way.
You decide to open youtube to distract yourself, letting your head fall on the bar counter. You blink slowly, once, twice, thrice and before you knew it, your breathing got slower and so did your racing heart. You let the darkness overtake you.
You fall asleep.
And it feels great, until you feel it. Calloused hands tenderly touching your face, it makes you gasp. And if it wasn’t for the hands that were previously caressing your face, you probably would’ve fell off the chair. Those hands that feel scorching hot on your waist, confining you side by side.
It’s terrifying the visceral reaction your body has when you feel him, when you see him. The exposed toned chest, the tattooed neck adorned with chains, you know him so well.
All those years and you’ll never get used to it. His touch.
The muscles on his arms seem to tense when you tighten your grip on him. You were starting to shake like a leaf and all it took you was to look up at the devil. He smiles at you and you can’t help but look down. That indisticve mole of his, right under his bottom lip and newly done piercing seem to greet you. He licks them, as if inviting you to get closer.
Time feels like it has stopped and your breathing shortens when he cuts the distance between you two even more. His chest touching yours. Your entire body seems to be overcomed by electricity.
“Angel eyes.” He murmurs, dark big eyes pinning you down, his hands now on your hips, his thumbs going in painfully slow circular motions. You could almost feel his eyelashes grazing your cheeks. It makes you visibly gulp. “Why weren’t you replying to my texts, hmm?”
He stares at you deeply, as if he’s ready to pounce on you. It makes the hairs on your neck stand up, you don’t like it at all. When he looks at you that way, as if he’s ready to devour you whole.
At the lack of your response he hums, inspecting your face while he plays with his lip ring. His big hand is now holding your face by your chin. He smiles once again, showing a perfect set of white teeth. He looks delighted.
“Why are you so quiet? won’t you congratulate me?” His voice displays excitement while his thumbs trace your lips.
The rings on his finger feel cold against your skin and you wish you could get away from him.
“To be honest, I'm quiet worried about you. You look a little troubled, angel eyes. What’s going on inside that little pretty head of yours? Come on, you can talk to me. After all, we’re like family now.”
Your jaw clenches at his words and your stomach churns in disgust. God, you really wanna throw up.
“We-We’re not family. You will never-
His thumb on your lips silences you completely. His breath now tickling your right cheek makes you itch all over. You feel his mouth close to your ear.
“And thank fucking god for that. It would be terrible if you were. Don’t you think so, angel eyes? cant go around wanting to fuck a family member. ” he says lowly and then his tongue travels from your neck all the way up to your lobe, leaving a wet trail and you can’t help let out a yelp, immediately pushing him away with all the strength you could muster.
Jungkook's eyes widen comically and so does his eyebrows. He lets out a hearty laugh.
“You never fail to make me laugh. You’re so fucking adorable, angel eyes, i wish i could i keep you next to me all times.”
“You’re sick.” You spit.
“That 's no way to talk to your brother-in-law. What would your mother think? her daughter and that nasty mouth of hers. Luckily I won't tell a soul.” He croons mirthfully, sporting his go-to sardonic smile. One you know so well. The one that has been haunting you for the past ten years, even in your dreams you couldn’t get away from him.
Your hands form into a fist and you’re pretty sure you’re shaking but not from fear but from rage this time. You hate him so much. You hated him so much that you fantasized about killing him. Nothing would bring you more pleasure than seeing him gone from your life, from your sister’s. Forever.
“I’m good at keeping secrets, remember?” he continues, getting closer to you once again. Feline eyes almost cutting through yours. “That’s why we get along so well, don’t we? sometimes I think that’s why you and I-
You stand up abruptly.
“Shut. up.”
He holds a finger to his chin, as if he’s actually thinking about it.
“I can find a few ways to do so but I would need your help.” He says tauntingly. The ends of his mouth twitching slightly. “Ever heard of face-sitting, angel eyes?”
And before you know it you lunge at him, your fist colliding with his chest. And you feel pathetic instantly . Your small moment of bravery dying as soon as you touch him. Jungkook is so much stronger than you. Any attempt of physical harm from you feels like a faint tickle to him.
A laugh bubbles out of his chest. It makes your ears ring, because it sounds so real, as if it’s coming from a child. But wasn’t that really Jungkook? A child in a man’s body.
What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine.
What he wants, he gets. Always throwing a fit when things didn’t go his way, punching things, smashing things, killing things. Your mother talked about brats but she has never met one like Jungkook.
The vibrations coming out of his chest while he still laughs at you made you realize this: he was truly enjoying this. You will always be his source of laughter, something he could toy with, make fun of, pick at it and then later on ridicule.
He hugs you, after he pins your arms down, his chin resting on your shoulder. You feel him inhaling the scent of your hair.
“My sweet angel, this is just the beginning for us. For all of us.” You don’t know when you start crying, maybe when he snuggles into you even more, when you realize this is your reality now. There’s no way to escape. maybe there never was. You’re trashing against him, but he holds you tightly.
He will never let you go.
None of them will.
“We told you we will always be by your side, didn’t we? We will keep you forever.”
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futurebird · 10 months
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"Everyone is beautiful? That's just something ugly people say."
PART I - Basic Social Skills PART II- Objective Beauty PART III - The Hate Trap
WHAT IS GOOD ADVICE When you are trying to improve yourself and understand yourself, when you are looking for answers to questions like "why don't I have more friends?" or "Why is romance so difficult?" it makes sense to look for advice from people who are more experienced and who might help you to understand where to best apply your energy. Good advice is effective advice: effective in the short term and in the long term. Good advice contains a few simple actionable things that you know you can do with a little effort. What about Bad Advice? Bad advice might just feel like its wasting your time, giving you nothing you can really *do* -- But the worst bad advice often sounds like good advice when your first read it. There are simple actions you feel like you can implement. It makes sense. It seems to address your problems-- but then this very worst kind of advice instead makes all of your problems worse and introduces new problems. Sadly some people who write advice for people who have questions about friendship, or romance, people who struggle with social situations, will write advice that's ... almost bad on purpose. The goal is to keep drawing you in and needing more of their advice. This is very common when it comes to advice on insecurity about ones appearance, friendships and romance. You may also encounter "advice" on these topics that ... doesn't really tell you anything and just says "feel good about yourself" this advice isn't actively harmful but it can be annoying and the lack of simple actions worth taking probably causes a lot of people to turn to the bad advice. That's what the title of this essay is about. "Everyone is beautiful? That's just something ugly people say." -- Everyone is beautiful is a nice wholesome idea, but its pretty useless to someone who is convinced that they are ugly and that this is a Big Problem. It's easy to become cynical and think there is nothing worthwhile at all in saying "everyone is beautiful" -- to lean into a shallow way of viewing yourself and others hoping that since you are "doing something" it will help. But in the long run? Your problems will only multiply. ARE YOU UGLY There are many reasons people think they are ugly:
Others have told them they are ugly - Even if the people who called you ugly are "correct" it's still an abusive thing to do to another human.
They compare themselves to remarkably beautiful people who are so good looking it's their job. Not looking like a model or actor is not "being ugly" to say so is hyperbolic and self pity. Most people, even some of the coolest people in the world who lead exciting lives, aren't as good looking as models. When you think "I'm so ugly." stop that thought in its tracks and replace it with a more truthful thought "I'm not so good looking that could be my one and only job. But, really I'm good enough to do the things that I want to do and meet the people I want to meet."
You have something that makes you stand out in your peer group: this could be if you are a different race than most of your peers, or if you are shorter or taller-- Even having red hair in a group of people who don't have red hair can make a person feel like they don't fit in. Even if you don't care much about fitting in on a conscious level-- this out of place feeling can work below the surface and make whatever makes you stand out a little feel much bigger than it really is. Also some of your peers may simply be rude or even abusive (see 1)
You have a distorted self image - this can be a hard one to deal with, and in very bad cases it can become a kind of mental illness. Think about someone you know who good looking and imagine how you'd feel if they said "I'm so ugly." You might want to correct them. You might feel like they are fishing for compliments. You might think they are just exaggerating. But imagine how sad it would be if they really believed this. Every time they'd look in a mirror they would see an ugly person. They would feel self conscious and try to hide perhaps. Now... is there a chance that you might be a little like that? If you looked at yourself from the outside? If this is still a struggle it might be good to try talking to a therapist. You can't keep going around thinking you are ugly when you aren't, it will get on people's nerves if they don't know you well and break their hearts if they do.
You really are just kinda ugly - It's impossible to write a way to test if this is really true or if one of the other items or a combination of the other items might be a better fit. But, it's true that some people have an appearance that other people aren't accustomed to, or they are very far from the average in some aspect of their appearance. And it really makes some things harder because people can be judgmental. If you really are "ugly" maybe the answer is to say "so what?" --So often what people really mean when they say "ugly" is different from what's considered normal. So if you really are ugly? So what? Aren't you still a person who wants to do the things that you care about? Meet people worth talking to? Find romance? (if you like the idea of romance.) There are certifiably ugly people who have lived amazing lives. If you decide to stop looking at your appearance as the only way that you can be likable or happy you can be one of them. And you don't have to say "everyone is beautiful" to make yourself feel better. Each time you find yourself thinking "I'm so ugly." -- stop that thought and think "so what?" instead.
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picturejasper20 · 2 months
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Cartoon characters you think had the biggest fall off in terms of writing?
Well, can think of a few examples
Vlad Masters from Danny Phantom
This one is quite obvious: He was a pretty interesting villain with unique motivations in the first two seasons and had a specific relationship with Danny that moved his character arc forward. He was a really good foil for Danny in the way their morals clashed.
Then Season 3 comes and sends most of that characterization to the trash, leaving a superficial version of him. He acts more as a generic villain, his motivations seem to change every episode he shows up. He is introduced as main antagonist in the season and barely does anything, with D-Stabilized being the closest you get to that, etc.
I would include Valerie Gray in the spot as well, but honestly i feel like she was more mistreated than her writing ¨fell off¨. She still acts like her usual self in D-Stabilized and it is probably her best episode along with Flirting With Disaster.
2- Marco Diaz from Star vs The Forces of Evil
Marco is a character that was having some pretty solid development in the first two seasons. He even forgave and befriended Star ex-boyfriend who only saw him as a rival. He learned to overcome his own insecurities and date a girl he really liked since he was like 10.
...And around Season 3 he like... started to flirt or date with half of the teenager girl cast. He almost started to gain a harem for all the girls that were into him. Not to mention that he kissed Star when she was dating Tom... after he spent a lot of time trying to be in good terms with him and telling him that he wasn't a thing with Star. That's not to say Star didn't mess it up big but at least she was improving in other areas like helping the monsters.
The writers took a character that was overall likable and turned him into harem dude. It was like they didn't know what to do with him after Season 2 and just matched him with every girl they could think off.
3-Mordecai from Regular Show
This case is well known and self explanatory. He was in general a good character in the first seasons. Then he got tangled in all this romance between Margaret and CJ, he messed it up so badly that CJ never spoke to him again and she didn't appear in the series later on.
The irony is that while Mordecai was getting worse, Rigby was improving in some ways by taking classes and finally graduating from school. He grows into someone more mature and responsible.
And this drama romance in the end didn't seem to have importance later on since Mordecai didn't end up with Margaret, instead he ends up with a bat girl he meets in the time skip montage.
4-Morty Smith from Rick and Morty
This is a bit weird because it isn't that his character got ruined but it feels like in some ways he has regressed to the way he was on Season 1 and Season 2.
I feel like the main issues that many have pointed out is that Rick is allowed to get better, while Morty can't. He can't process his own trauma and the way he is treated by his own family (yes, it isn't only Rick the problem). So he is stuck going back and forth with his evolution as character.
My theory is that, because the show has this thing of trying to keep the status quo, changing Morty too much would mean that the writers have to change his dynamic with Rick and... that would mean the show changing its status quo as well.
5-Charmcaster from the original Ben 10 series
I don't recall that much about her but i do remember she was someone who practiced dark magic and was mistreated by her uncle in the original show. Then in the series that followed she became someone a lot worse?? Like she started killing a lot of people for some reason. It was super weird.
6- Nine from Sonic Prime
I wouldn't call it character assassination. However, he feels like he becomes a very different character from who he was in Season 1 and Season 2.
In Season 1 and 2 he was someone who was looking out for himself. He didn't want to cause harm on purpose and just wished to live in a place he could be safe. He is just a kid who hasn't had the best life and wants someone that can be his friend.
Then in Season 3 he starts putting people in danger intentionally? He actually attacks people and threatens others. There isn't exactly a proper build up to this character change. It just happens.
It doesn't help that he doesn't have that many moments he seems to regret his actions. He just keeps going and going. So when his heel turn comes it feels... cheap, again because there wasn't enough build up to that.
I would include Chloe from Miraculous Ladybug but i haven't watched that series so..
These are the ones that come to my mind at the moment. Maybe there are others that i'm not able to recall at the moment.
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ficsforeren · 2 years
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Discovered your blog a while ago and I’m absolutely obsessed with your writing! You’re writing is so beautiful and in all honesty I love the way how your stories play out like a movie while reading them. I was also wondering if you have any beginner tips on how to improve your writing skills and how to how to run a successful blog 😊
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BABYYYYY THAT IS SO SWEET, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAYING THAT TO ME 😭😭😭😭😭
t-t-t-tips??? oh honey, I'm so bad at giving tips/advice to people. And if you read my past asks, you'd realize just how much I'm still insecure about my writing skill 😭 but if you insist, I'll let you know the three things I always do:
write every. single. day. even if it's just a paragraph. even if it's only a line or two, try and spend at least an hour of your day to write down your thoughts.
watch a lot of movies, read a lot of books, listen to a lot of songs from different genres to keep you inspired.
write for yourself. This is the most important part which, I, myself, have only realized recently LOL writing, especially if english isn't your first language, can be hard and if you write stuff that you don't really feel like writing, it will take a lot of energy and eventually, you just stop writing completely. I see a lot of writers take requests and I admire them so much for that cause I will never be able to do that. It's great if you can write stuff that will attract people to come to your blog, but I did that once and I lost energy pretty quickly so now I'm just writing stories that I truly want to write and it's so much fun. Like that dragon eren fic I'm working on, it only has a few readers but I've written more than 150k in the last three months for it because I enjoy it so much. I feel sad whenever I don't have time to write, like this is literally the only thing I want to do these days LOL
"run a successful blog" HONEY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT i'm farrrrrrr from having a successful blog 😭 idk what to say, really, just be kind to people, I guess? i really don't know what to say 😭
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bluestar-from-earth · 2 years
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Sharing my problems and a big promise to myself
I fell worthless and insecure about what I had achieved and all my experiences. I know that everyone comes from different backgrounds but it does not help. Because I recognize I did not try hard enough when I had a chance. I regret that I have not reached my highest potential and the path to get to it is still so dame long. 
I wonder What if I was born into a happy family, had great parents, and lived in a big city in a developed country, would I  be a better person? 
I have had those thoughts in mind for a pretty long time, I understand that those are reasonable but this is time to get rid of those. 
I need to accept I am just an average or even under-average person, growing up with depression and lacking a bunch of important skills. I need to accept I hate myself and stop doing that from now on.
I should remind myself about all my advantages every day. Focusing on WHAT I CAN IMPROVE, WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF, LISTENING TO MY FEELING (do not just ignore my emotions and always tend to hide all the problems). One more important thing is I love writing, drawing, and being curious about load and load of stuff but I lost them through the years, so I going to get them back now.
And here are What I love about myself: (not gonna lie it's hard to point out my advantages cause I've underestimated myself and always been judged by my mom)
being honest about myself
not afraid to learn new things
being open to approaching different perspectives
love thinking and having my own opinion
pretty good at listening to others
being brave enough to have a big dream
having a kind heart
craving to be independent
#PS: I wrote this by myself_bluestar-from-earth
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randomslasher · 4 years
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Let’s talk about unsolicited ‘constructive’ criticism on fanfiction
Hi there! 
If you’ve followed me for any amount of time at all (hell, even if you don’t) you may already be fairly familiar with my stance on this topic. But since I pretty much only talk about it when I’m furiously angry, I thought maybe I might make more progress if I sat down and typed out my thoughts when I wasn’t coming from a place of such strong emotion. I’m going to try to explain my stance on this, and why I feel so strongly the way I do about it. Be prepared for a lot of rambling. :) 
So here’s my thesis statement: 
Constructive criticism on free fanfiction is often far more destructive than it is helpful when offered without the author’s consent to receive it.
Now, I know a lot of people out there may be upset or at least confused by that statement, so I’m going to take a few minutes to talk about why I think this, and why it’s not, in fact, that radical of a concept. I’m going to do this by breaking down the primary arguments I see about this topic and addressing them one at a time. 
1) Constructive criticism helps writers get better! 
This, as with most blanket statements, is not going to be true in every case. People respond to criticism in vastly different ways, and for many, criticism actually hurts them. Individuals with RSD, or individuals who have been consistently picked on for their hobbies or have massive insecurities about sharing them, may not take criticism in the ‘constructive’ spirit in which it is intended. Without knowing the individual, it is nearly impossible to know how they best receive criticism, or if they even want it. It’d be like writing a prescription medication without knowing the patient’s symptoms. Sure, maybe an antibiotic would make them better, but only if they have a specific type of illness. But without the details, you’re actually more likely to cause them harm. 
But there’s more to this one than just the blanket assumption that unsolicited concrit always helps people improve, so we’re going to break it down even further. 
2) People should always want to improve their writing!
Why? No, really--why? 
This is one I see people struggle with sometimes. There’s this really pervasive idea that certain pursuits--musical, artistic, literary, athletic, hell, even gaming--should always be undertaken with the intent of improvement. 
But that’s another false assumption, and one I think more people might be happier if they could break free of. 
Take gaming, for instance. I am not much of a gamer, but I enjoy the occasional first person shooter if it’s got an interesting plot. Bioshock Infinite, Mass Effect, Dragon Age--I had a blast playing those. But I wasn’t very good at them, and playing them on hard would’ve left me frustrated and dissatisfied. 
Playing them on easy, though? I had a freaking blast. And since I wasn’t planning to go into competitive gaming or anything like that, wasn’t that just as valid a way to enjoy the games as playing them on expert mode? 
Artistic pursuits are no different. If the artist is not doing it for a living, if they’re offering it for free and just doing it in their spare time for fun and they enjoy the way they do it--then why must they want to improve? What horrible fate befalls us if a few random fanfic writers never get much better? What terrible tragedy is it, really, if Susie Ann Fanfic is creating things that make her happy and is happy sharing them with her small circle of friends/fans who also enjoy her work exactly as she’s creating it? What insurmountable catastrophe unfolds before us if Bobby Joe Just-For-Fun still uses comma splices or odd pacing? The reality is, I hope, obvious: nothing. Nothing bad happens, other than maybe you don’t enjoy their writing. 
And hey, if you can’t tolerate someone’s writing style, that’s totally fine. I get it. I turn away from fanfic all the time because of small writer foibles that bug me. 
But that doesn’t mean I have the right to impose my preferences onto the person out there creating fic for free. If an artist wants to improve, that is their decision, and they will find ways to do so. I promise you they will.
3) But I can help, so I should! 
No. You shouldn’t. 
Listen. Maybe you are qualified. Maybe you, like me, have degrees in writing, and have done professional editing and tutor work. Maybe you’re really, really good at feedback, and you see one or two quick changes that someone could make that would cause instant improvement in their writing. 
You should still keep it to yourself if the writer didn’t ask for it. Why? 
Well, first of all, your credentials are unknown. People who don’t know you won’t trust them anyway. As far as anyone knows, you are just another internet rando, so why should anyone be taking advice from you? Unsolicited advice puts people on the defensive, and any well-meaning advice you may have had, even if it was good advice, may end up going unheeded.
But the reality is we are not usually as qualified as we think we are. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen constructive crit that was just flat-out wrong--grammar corrections that were actually incorrect, word choice corrections that boiled down to preference rather than propriety. (Those long lists of ‘words you should use instead of ‘said’’, for example--don’t even get me started on those things.) 
A ton of writing advice boils down to subjective preference. There are qualified professionals whose advice I’ve eschewed, because I personally disagree with it, and prefer the cadence and flow of my own writing choices over theirs. That doesn’t mean they’re right or I’m wrong (or vice-versa), it means artistic prose is often comprised of many individual and personal choices, and preferring one doesn’t mean another is wrong. 
4) No but really, I can help so I should! 
Please do not make the mistake of thinking what you are offering is going to be universally perceived as help. As I mentioned before, receptiveness to criticism is an enormously personal thing. What one person may appreciate may send another into a shame spiral where they are incapable of creating anything new because their confidence has been shattered by your “help.” Even the most well-meaning help can end up stripping someone of their confidence and will to create, and if that’s the end result, then how has that helped them? What good does it do to know where a comma goes if you’re never going to write again?
If someone has asked for your help, that’s one thing. It is then on them to ensure they have specified the means by which they can and will accept help, and from whom. 
But if they haven’t? It is an enormous assumption to think that you are helping when you may well be destroying a young artist’s will to create. 
5) People are putting up their works in a public forum so they should expect to receive criticism. 
I’ll admit I’m a little less patient with this one. This is like saying, “People know that other people have hands so eventually they should expect someone to push them down.” The inevitability of someone else being cruel does not excuse your preemptive cruelty, even if it was unintended. But as established, without knowing what a specific writer needs in terms of feedback and concrit, the odds of doing damage are too high not to consider it a good possibility. And the attitude that ‘well their work is out there so it’s free to be critiqued’ is also incredibly flawed. 
So what works are available for critique? 
- Works you’ve paid for (ie published or commissioned works) - Works where the writer has specifically requested critique  - Works that misrepresent a demographic in a harmful way*
Honestly? That’s about it. Unless you commissioned this piece of writing or you have permission from the writer, then you are not in the right to openly criticize just because the work is there. Sure, you can do it, but again--the possibility of causing harm is still very real. If your real end goal is to help, why take that chance?
6) If they don’t like what I’m saying or disagree with me they can always just ignore my advice.
Perhaps, but by then, the damage is done. If someone suffers RSD or is similarly insecure about their writing, a deconstruction tempered with “this is just my opinion” can be just as damaging to the ego and self-confidence as one that purports to be gospel. You are still pointing out perceived errors, and that can still hurt. 
7) People who can’t take constructive criticism have fragile egos
Yeah. Maybe they do. Again, so what? If you push someone with brittle bone disease do you blame them for the injury you caused just because it wouldn’t have hurt you? 
If you are blaming someone else for the fact that you hurt them, then you are basically either aware that you are in the wrong and are attempting to hide your guilt behind rationalization, OR you have decided that your so-called right to criticize someone on something they did for fun and for free is more important than their feelings. And frankly, if you’ve somehow decided that, then we’ll get no further here, so you might as well quit reading. 
8) I really like constructive criticism for my own stuff. It helps me a lot. 
That’s awesome! I’m really glad to hear that! Do not let this essay make you think I’m saying “all constructive criticism is bad!” That has never been my point, and only a very bad-faith reading of what I’ve said here could lead someone to that conclusion. 
What I and so many others have always been rallying against is unsolicited constructive criticism. The key difference here is consent. 
Bottom line is, criticism should default to “only if explicitly requested,” not “whenever I personally want to offer it.” And people who do want it should make it known rather than expecting others to automatically know. But you wanting it doesn’t mean anyone else does, or should. What helps you may harm someone else. 
9) So you’re saying people should only say good things? Isn’t that a little dishonest? 
If your best friend bought a new outfit and you really thought a lot of it looked awesome but you didn’t really care for the shoes, is it dishonest to compliment the rest of it and just not mention the shoes? 
If your family member prepared a meal and you genuinely enjoyed almost all of it but didn’t care for their macaroni salad, is it dishonest to compliment the rest of it and politely decline the macaroni salad?
The idea that you can only be truly “honest” if you insult as well as compliment is, frankly, bullshit. And I think most people who use this argument actually do know that. Again, many people fighting tooth and claw for the “right to criticize” aren’t really looking to help people. They’re looking for an excuse to tear people down. 
How do I know this? 
Well, the reality is, fanfic is free and plentiful. If you don’t like something, you can walk away. If you only like parts of something, you can chose to compliment those parts or you can still chose to walk away. It isn’t for lack of other things to read that you feel you must help this one individual improve, because there is plenty out there to read.
But if you insist--absolutely insist--on coming in and tearing someone down, what are you really doing? Satisfying your own needs to be right, not your desire to help someone improve. Because the best, most tried-and-true method of improvement (if someone wants to improve--which again, is NOT A REQUIREMENT) is to continue to write.  
If you want someone to get better? If that’s genuinely your deep down heart’s desire? Then you should only give them positive, glowing feedback. 
Why? 
Because that, more than anything else, will encourage them to keep going. It will encourage them to write more. 
Tell them what they did well so they can build on it. Tell them what you loved so they’ll keep doing it. 
And then, whether they intended to or not, whether it was their goal or not, they will improve. 
Hell, they MIGHT even start thinking of you as a trusted, kind source of feedback--to the point that if they DO decide they want critique, they may actually come and ask you for it specifically. 
But if your goal is to help, the best, kindest, and most effective way to do that is to show your support. If you feel you can’t do that without dishonesty, then just walk away. Maybe that particular piece of work just isn’t for you. 
Absolute bottom line: you have been told, by multiple people, time and time again, that your unsolicited criticism is likely to be causing harm. At the very least, you must now see it as a very real risk of offering that criticism. So now you have to decide if that risk of causing someone real harm is worth it, all in the name of purportedly wanting to offer help for which no one asked. If you’ve been told, repeatedly, that your criticism is hurting people, and you still think it is your right, job, or duty to continue to offer it unsolicited, it may be time to take a good long look inside and ask yourself why. 
Phew, okay, I think that wraps things up for me. Thank you for reading this far, and just know that having a desire to help someone through criticism is not a bad thing. It’s literally what we’re taught to do in most school systems, so it’s something that does have to be unlearned in a lot of cases. But I hope I’ve made my case here for the potential damage of offering unsolicited criticism, and how you can do far more good for a writer by offering your support and encouragement anyway! :) 
*This is a trickier subject, and not really the purpose of this post. I won’t tell individuals how to react to someone misrepresenting their demographic; if someone is being racist, transphobic, homophobic, abelist, etc. in their writing, that is an entirely different conversation. I will not be telling anyone how they should respond to someone who has transgressed on these topics, though I will speak about the one I am personally familiar with as a disabled person (abelism) and say that in my experience, approaching an individual privately and under an assumption of benign ignorance on the topic is generally the approach that gets me the best results. But again, that is not a topic on which I can speak for everyone or every group. I’m aware of my privilege, and I will not be addressing that topic in this essay. 
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delu-jean · 3 years
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𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 (𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭)
Hello! As this event takes place, requests will be closed since juggling both will be a little tiring! 
-> Thanks: Thank you guys for 100 follows! I’m glad my writing is something others can enjoy, and I’ll keep on doing my best to both improve, and deliver. 
Event: 
-> Song-Fic/ Song Lyric Event: There are forty five prompts with different song lyrics! Some angst, and others fluff, but all revolve around romance~
->Each fic will revolve around the lyric specifically, or the entire song!
->Eg of fic with just the lyric (specifcially): I may use the lyric as a line you, or another character would say, it might pop up when needed, and etc. A fic example would be: “Before You Go” (Nanami Kento x fem!/reader). 
->Eg of fic with entire song: Basically a song-fic
->Eg of fic wihtout lyrics in it: I present the lyrical prompt at the beginning of the fic, and write w/o needing to use it as an actual line, or anything else. 
->Whichever is found fitting, will be used!! ^^
->Either way, the fic will be written about that lyrical prompt!! :))
Rules: (A must)
This event is one for (fem!xreader) x (<inserted male reader>) 
He needs to be a character from one of the five fandoms I write for! 
Jjk, Mha, Haikyuu, Aot, and Demon Slayer
If your guy isn’t on the list, by all means, request and I’ll tell you if I feel like I can write for him!! ^^
-> Link to the M.list <-
This is a non-nsfw event, and topics over 18+ aren’t allowed!! 
You can only request one character per prompt, unless, the prompt calls for two! (Even then, you can choose to only ask for one) 
My rules still apply for this event, if you would like specifics, please do ask, or look through the rules post! 
-> Rules <-
Key: 
Angst
Fluff 
You can request more than one character (max would be two) = ☆
Prompts: 
"What if I said I'm sorry, what if I made a scene? Wouldn't that make you mine again, you're all I'll ever need," -What If I Said I'm Sorry (Caliber)
"You won and she chose you, and she loved you, and she's gone…" -Its Over Isn't It? (DeeDee Magno Hall) ☆
"She's a she's a lady, and I am just a boy without a line," -Line without a hook (Ricky Montgomery) 
"Knew I was falling when I looked inside your eyes, and you said…'I know you are but what am I?" -What Am I? (Why don't we)
"I need a man who loves me like my Father loves my mom," -Like My father (Jax)
"You make my heart beat faster than adrenaline, you kiss away the pain of all the hell I’m in," -Medicine (James Arthur) 
"It's always one step forward, and three steps back. I'm the love of your life until I make you mad," -One step forward, and three steps back (Olivia Rodrigo) 
"Let's write our story, and let's sing our song. Let's hang our pictures on the wall," -Memories (Shawn Mendes) 
"Maybe you and I have history, but I don't think you know me. Have we met before?" -Have we met before (Eric Nam, Sarah Barrios) 
"Hey baby won't you look my way, I can be your new addiction~" -Everybody Talks (Neon Trees)
"She gets the flowers...right? The post made about her. A love that is perfect, a love I deserved, yeah. A love that I gave,” - She Gets the flowers (Betch MCcarthy) 
“I just heard you found the one you’ve been looking, that you’ve been looking for. I wish I would’ve known it wasn’t me,” -We Don’t Talk Anymore (Charlie Puth) 
“Even when we go through changes, even when we’re old. Remember that I told you I’d find my way back home,” -Way Back Home (SHUAN) 
“You say that it’s all just a blur, but I see you kissing her. No no, you gotta go, go, and I’ll be just fine without you,” -Goodbye Boy (Peg Parnivek)   
“You say that I'm too insecure, you want me to be someone else, but if I'm not the one you want...Just go ahead and walk right out the door,” -Who I am (NIve) 
“She’s In The Rain, you want to hurt yourself I’ll stay with you. You want to make yourself go through the pain. It’s better to be held than holding on,” -She’s In The Rain (The Rose) 
“If all it is is eight letters, why is it so hard to say? If all it is is eight letters then why am I in my own way?” -Eight Letters (Why Don’t We) 
“Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful angel. Love your imperfections every angle. Tomorrow comes and goes before you know...so i just had to let you know~” -Beautiful (Bazzi) 
“Congratulations, I heard you’re doing great...congratulations, how are you okay? I hate that you’re happy, I hope that you can’t sleep,” -Congratulations (Day 6) 
“I know I can treat you better than he can. And anyone like you deserves a gentleman,” -You Better (Shawn Mendes) ☆
“Congratulations, you’re finally leaving. Let’s throw a party here tonight, and toast to the end of you and I,” -Congratulations (Eric Nam) 
“Wise men say...only fools rush in. But I can’t help, falling in love...with...you,” -Fools Rush In (Elvis) 
“Don’t say you miss me, when you don’t call. Don’t say you’re hurting, without the scars. Don’t say you’re here tonight without tomorrow too. Don’t say you love me, unless you do,” -Don’t Say you Love Me (Fifth Harmony) 
“A lifetime of laughter at the expense, of the death of a bachelor,” -Death Of A Bachelor (Panic At The Disco)
“She told me that she loved me by the water fountain. She told me that she loved me and she didn’t love him. And that was really lovely cause it was innocent, but now she has a cup with something else in it…” -Water Fountain (Alec Benjamin) -> Oikawa x Reader ☆
“And I don’t need a reason to keep on dreaming. That we can with this stupid thing...called love,” -Lose (Nikki)
“Don’t take this personal, but personally, I think you should get with somebody like me. But worst of all...you don’t even see,” -Personal (The Vamps) 
“But you got a lot of great songs 'bout a lot of shit guys, you did more with 3 minutes than they'll do with their lives. And we'll buy ourselves houses with our heartbreak songs, screw everybody else who ever treated us wrong,” - Three Minutes (JP Saxe) ☆
“I’ve got all my money on you, got all my dollars on you. And I feel like a million bucks, a million bucks, and I give no f**ks when I’m with you,” -Million Bucks (Smallpools) 
“She put my name in yellow hearts. Her favourite colour like the stars. I didn’t listen very hard, when she told me she was crazy from the start,” -Yellow Hearts (Ant Saunders) 
“And I want you to cry, cry for me. Like I cried for you baby, cry for me,” -Cry For Me (Twice) 
“Please don’t let this love die young, please don’t let this love die young. If I’m going to lose someone, don’t let it be you,” -Love Die Young (Eric Nam) 
“Ain't never felt this way, can't get enough so stay with me. It's not like we got big plans. Let's drive around town holding hands,” -ILYSB (Lany)
“Maybe I don’t want to be just friends, see you only on the weekends. Sorry hope you understand, I like you a little too much for that,” -Just Friends (JORDY) 
“Golden eyes, if it ain’t you girl I don’t want to try. Baby, baby, baby you’re my diamond shine,” -Golden Eyes (Layto) 
“I like me better when I’m with you. I like me better when I’m with you. I knew from the first time, I stayed for a long time cause~ I like me better when I’m with you,” -I Like Me Better (Lauv) 
“Hey pretty Stranger, I think you look cute, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone like you,” -Your Text (Sundial) 
“And They say, Chivalry is dead. So let a real man pick up the slack, and treat you with respect,” -Chivalry Is Dead (Trevor Wesely) 
“And I Know there’s no making this right, and I know there’s no changing your mind. But we both have each other tonight. So if love is nothing more than just a waste of your time, waste it on me,” -Waste On Me (BTS) 
“I hope he treats you better than I ever could. Cause you deserve the world times two and the perfect afternoons. For you to find who fills your heart even if I’m not the one you choose,” -Chicken Tendies (Clinton kane) ☆
“It’s bittersweet to think about the damage we do, cause I was going down but I was doing it with you. And I say that I hate you with a smile on my face,” -Favourite Crime (Olivia Rodrigo) 
“Find me, in another place in time. If only, if only you were mine. But I’m already someone else’s baby,” -Baby (Clean Bandit) 
“And I might never stop your sorrow, fix you up good as new. But that don’t mean that I can’t hold your hand in mine,” -Someone You Like (Girl And The Dream Catcher) 
“Cause when you said jump I said ‘how high?’ But when I jumped you said ‘goodbye,’ “ -Walked Through Hell (Anson Seabra) 
“I want to love me, the way that you love me. Oh, from all of my pretty, and all of my ugly too, I love it when I see me from your point of view,” POV (Ariana Grande) -> Giyuu x Reader
Have fun :)
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dipperdogrpg · 3 years
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Cloud and Aerith theories/facts and not canon pairing essay
Ended up writing way more then intended lol and thought to share what’s  happening in the FF7 story between Cloud and Aerith. This is a response text I did on my youtube channel where I do commentary as a Cloti supporter. Instead I decided to move it here.
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Wahh lol I got carried away! I enjoyed but also felt bad for Cloud having to dance at the Honey Bee thanks to Aerith and her plans. Gosh darn it though Cloud dancing was great and I squealed along with Aerith, but a tinge of guilt hits when I see his troubled face haha. The thing people confuses here is that Cloud pushes himself to do it for Tifa because he was ready to walk away. Instead of busting through the mansion he sucked it up to ensure Tifa’s safety and chose to sneak inside as a woman.
Yes, I’m also very curious how Sephiroth's schemes will develop and how Aerith will try to stop him in Remake. She's much more focused on Sephiroth and stopping him compared in OG. In the other game Aerith originally joined to understand her Cetra abilities, but it feels pretty evident she has new mysterious powers as a Cetra in Remake and her relationship with Sephiroth is more personal. Also, I think Sephiroth and Aerith’s ancestry will have a bigger role and focus on Jenova and the Cetra's relationship/History. I plan to do an Aerith Theory and a character analysis in the future because she is, as the developers describe her, mysterious. 
It's obvious Sephiroth is harassing Cloud mentally then later physically through his clones. He is scheming something big and I look forward how Aerith will try to counter it because she is probably the only one capable to do it as a Cetra. One of the big schemes was removing the Arbiters of fate, but I think they both wanted that. Both Sephiroth and Aerith want to change something that doesn’t fit with the planet’s “destined” agenda.
In Max's commentary he mentioned Sephiroth was intentional with stalling Cloud running into Aerith, which caused a butterfly effect to ruin the events the planet has planned. While it tries to fix itself, the party are becoming aware of the Arbiters of Fate existence and sees it as a problem. At the end the team removes it when Sephiroth had some control in manipulating it. Its been mentioned the three figures you fight are a representation of the three sephiroth remnants from AC, Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo. So maybe we are getting hints of Sephiroth's abilities with the clones and the lifestream which could lead to some complicated trouble. We also get evidence Aerith is already more powerful than her Og counterpart by creating the portal to fight the Arbitors. When the heck did she learn that? 
My theory about removing the arbitors of fate are so the creators can have wiggle room for slight variation in scenes they've considered fixing in the past to improve a more consistent story and of course a new way for Sephiroth to exercise his goal along with Aerith because definitely getting hints those two know more then they should. My theory, they are from the future and traveled to the past using the Life stream and I’m using the OTWTS Novel as evidence when Aerith and Sephiroth talk about their time in the Life Stream. In there they gained new powers. Evidence- Sephiroth talks about it at the temple of ancients and that he gained new knowledge from there, so why not Aerith too. Either way the party will stop him at the end with Aerith's help because her role in the story is to save the world while Tifa's role is to save Cloud. That is a canon statement by one of the developers btw. Aerith and Tifa have their roles to play in FF7 that lead to its success.
Fun fact, but Cloud is not himself with Aerith. The developers did say Cloud truly is himself with Tifa. Why? because love. Now, the cool thing in Remake we are witnessing is Cloud learning how to make friends. A poor social skill set that may have contributed with his insecurity when he was a child. Wanting to join tifa and her friends but instead stayed away. To make himself feel better he makes up a story that he chose not to play with the other kids because he is special. In FF7 we get to witness Cloud learning these relationship skills, which helps develop his character to grow up until we get to the Lifestream sequence. It's after that he can stop pretending to be what he think is the ideal cool grown up version of himself and instead work on his real self with the new bonds of friendship he made who stuck around Cloud regardless of him pretending to act as someone else during their adventure. Cloud is still Cloud. Even with the messed up memories he had. He is not Zack. He is like a little boy picking up traits he likes from other people and mimic them. Very confused why people think he is Zack. He’s not. He is Cloud trying to be cool and does it poorly. That’s a canon thing.
Soldier Cloud is a facade, an illusion of himself he truly believed in until he sorted out his memories and realized "oh I'm not being myself and just mimicking what would Zack do. A friend I look up to"  It's been pointed out Cloud isn't actually grown up mentally and is still a child with insecurity about himself along with 5 years of trauma thanks to Hojo. Poor BABY! This whole copy/mimic theme gets reflected with the kids in sector 8 that mimic Cloud in remake over time during the side quests. Cloud is doing the same thing with Zack. Even Biggs hints that Cloud and the kids have a lot in common. I'm not crazy about Sector 8 but it shows best what Biggs told Cloud before the plate falls. And one more thing I want to add lol. When Cloud gets his red drink from Tifa there's a pause of him looking up and down at the drink and Tifa, before he says beautiful. That moment of pause he thinks to himself what he should do here and then came up with what he believes a confident person/Zack would do. Zack doesn't hesitate when giving a compliment. Confident people don't normally hesitate when they talk. It's why we get moments of Cloud saying some awkward lines when he doesn't give himself time to think and its one of the best moments to watch lol cuz I think that's when real cloud slips out trying to act cool or is at a lost for words. It's canon by the developers that Cloud isn't cool but tries to act it.
Another Fun fact. Most party members and NPCs in Remake mention and hint in game they see past the facade Cloud puts up. Tifa, Barret, Wedge, Biggs, Marle, Jessie and Aerith are some of the characters that see past it and either go along with it, poke fun at his attempt or tell him to his face they know he's pretending to be someone he's not. Basically seeing past the character he pretends to be and can see he has a good heart over the course they spend time with him. Even though Cloud tries to convince others and himself he could care less about them and is only in it for the money.
Now OG is really awkward with the romance honestly from my playthroughs so far. (Follow me on Youtube Dipperdog15 if you want to catch my FF7 commentary when I go live playing OG and Intergrade.) But with Remake it's very clear they are building up Aerith's love story with Zack so we can cry hard later. All of Zack scenes so far is related to Aerith. In Remake and OG Aerith display some of Zack's mannerisms too because people copy/mimic what they do to feel closer to them when in love. She continues to wear the bow Zack gave her and the pink dress in memory of Zack. She's said "gotta move forward not back" in remake and/or that Zack probably moved on with another girl in Og but what if what she said is a lie. We have Cloud as the unreliable narrator so why can't it also happen with Aerith who is likely lying to convince herself to move on to protect her heart. In fact a lot of characters in FF7 lie to themselves and we get character development when they stop and face the truth. It's one of the many themes in FF7 which I think I’ll deep dive into on my podcast channel in the future.
Another thing to keep in mind is that Zack is risking it all to make it to Midgar to see Aerith while risking Cloud's life on this mission, because he promised her. Promise is a big important theme in FF7. Cloud and Tifa are the canon couple and Zack and Aerith are the canon couple in FF7 because these pairings promised each other. I won't disagree about Cloud not caring about Aerith, but he cares for all his friends as said in AC. Also why make it possible the idea to bring Zack back? To create a love square? No. It’s have us the players focus instead the reunion of Aerith and Zack. That’s more attention grabbing because we never got to see it before and I’ll cry when they cry finally getting to be together. If they don’t I’ll cry some more. The developers are pushing for Zerith and their development in Remake/Intergrade. 
Another thing to notice, there are a lot of similarities between Jessie and Aerith's relationship when they are around Cloud. This directive choice, I believe, isn't a coincidence in order to water down scenes that are suppose to be special. It is instead not a “one of kind’ scene. They both get carried bridal style. They both tell cloud My Hero. They both invited Cloud over for dinner. They both ask about who Tifa is. They both got a pikachu face from Cloud when jessie optionally kissed Cloud on the cheek and Aerith wearing the optional red dress. They both have strong personalities that overwhelms Cloud and that is a developer canon statement. They both worked hard to befriend Cloud so he can open up and be nicer to them. Cloud treats them both the same.
Aerith’s relationship with Cloud in Remake is directing us to friendship. In the novel it mentioned she loves Cloud, in what way we don’t know. But we can say for a fact Cloud was living a lie in OG and his real self loves Tifa. In fact his other self loved Tifa too, you just have to catch the moment. Example, Barret teasing Cloud if he is eager to see his baby when you first see Tifa in OG. It happens when you run to the bar, but only if you catch Tifa on the porch before she goes inside. That’s means in both remake and OG, Barret knew something was up with those two. Another moment is the interest Cloud has with what Tifa almost said in the gondola. It was obviously sounding like some kind of confession from Tifa at Gold Saucer. When you get this date the story is more fluid when you arrive at the northern crater and Cloud says “only your opinion matters” to Tifa. Huge RED FLAG Cloud considers Tifa important to him. Meanwhile Aerith and Cloud’s relationship was open for interpretation that it may have been love in OG, but the scenes that helped implied it were removed in Remake. The point system was just for fun because it was a popular thing in the 90s. Plus the points for Tifa, Aerith, Barret and Yuffie’s are their feelings for Cloud not Cloud’s feelings towards them. Then you get rewarded learning a little about the character, but that’s it. FF7 remake/intergrade is not an otome game. Cloud ends with Tifa no matter what. Even if Aerith was to stay alive the Life Stream sequence will always be Cloud and Tifa’s moment to learn about their feelings for each other. The developers have said it is one of their favorite scenes, so they won’t change it. ok now back to Remake. 
Aerith in her resolution tells him not to love her and it’s not real. A deliberate choice of words I think she picked to shoo away the thought they could be a thing for both their sakes and us the players lol. Doing that made it weird now because Cloud doesn’t want to ruin what ever progress he has with Tifa in Remake. Plus Cloud only known her for a few days and if his actions are making her think there’s this growing romance between them he’s not going to encourage it. Those lines raised his awareness to watch himself I bet, so Tifa doesn’t get the wrong idea and you can see the distance he put between himself and Aerith later in game. Meanwhile in Intermission we see Cloud continues to make quick glances at Tifa whenever he can. We get it Cloud. You can’t keep your eyes off her. Ok getting off track. So Cloud and Aerith are instead just friends. Doing this allows Tifa to pick up the role to be there for Aerith. Which will help develop their friendship to be stronger as the two girls encourage each other. because I didn’t pick up on the two being best friends in OG but in Remake it’s very clear. He already looked uncomfortable when Aerith grabbed his arm back at the ghost station in front of Tifa. To include Cloud with this idea of him falling in love with another woman in front of Tifa would leave a poor taste in our mouths after spending several hours watching him develop several intimate moments with Tifa. That freaking hug scene and train roll you guys screamed sexual tension and love. Cloud is not that kind of guy who easily falls in love. His whole hero’s journey is because of Tifa and he makes sure to be nice to her while trying to get her attention. With anyone else he is quite hostile with new people and slowly learns to tolerate them before liking them.  Cloud treats Tifa differently in a special way. He’s been pinning for Tifa since they were kids and even imagined scenarios of Tifa noticing him. That’s right, not all of Cloud’s visions may be accurate. We may see more scenes of kid Cloud imagining moments with Tifa to confuse our perspective they are childhood friends. Again, Cloud is the unreliable narrator thanks to Jenova and 5 years of trauma.  Now back to Aerith. Their relationship definitely felt different when Cloud, Tifa and Barret rescued Aerith. In fact Aerith’s relationship with everyone is different in a better way. The relationship between Tifa and Barret are better fleshed out compared to OG Aerith and I’m for it. Very happy they removed the jail scene. It was upsetting watching Aerith flirt with Cloud while Tifa was stuck in the cell forced to listen and Aerith owing Cloud a date. Which changed also in Remake. Taking Aerith home and spending time her was the date as mentioned in game by Aerith herself. 
When I play through Chapter 8 and 9 I get this feeling Meta Aerith looks uncomfortable sticking to the OG lines of herself but does it anyways so the Arbiters of fate won’t come for her because she wants to hold on to her memories. Something she believes can help her friends I’m guessing. This is if my theory is right lol. What we have now is an Aerith that’s more mysterious than she was in OG. If this is OG Aerith making a return in Remake then I believe she was acting a lot, but then we see hiccups of her mentioning Cloud being a mercenary when he never mentioned it or acting like she knows Tifa for like forever before she actually met her in Remake. And then there was her knowing the plate would fall in sector 7. I’m betting the burden of knowing it was so hard to hide that Tifa picked up that she might be hiding something. 
We are near the end! 
Aerith’s resolution explored further. The resolution helps proves my theory this is OG Aerith that travel back to the past using the Lifestream to help her comrades in the fight against Sephiroth in Remake who also returned to the past. What’s also interesting about her resolution are the things she said are something you want to tell someone before you disappear. It was so sudden in OG that it sounds like Aerith wants to make up for it and also doesn’t want Cloud to suffer in guilt as he did in AC. Cherish the moment. Every one dies. 
Aerith knows the truth with Cloud and Tifa’s relationship hence her stopping herself interfering. Now maybe Aerith did fall in love with Cloud, and maybe while Cloud pretended to be someone else was loving the idea, which is a stretch cuz there are plenty debunking the idea which I can go over later. They both may have been using each other to fill the hurt in their heart not having their true loves instead. Zack and Tifa. In her resolution, Aerith has declared she will not pursue Cloud as she did in OG and we have evidence of that when they rescue her. there were so many opportunities for Cloud to be Aerith’s hero. Instead those moments were replaced with Tifa consoling her and rescuing her.
The Arbitors of Fate are gone, so I believe Aerith’s normal clips of her flirting with Cloud will get removed or changed as many have already. This allows the directors to remove lines that painted Aerith poorly some moments and better her relationship with the team too. Aerith will still have flaws like everyone does. No one is perfect and I’m perfectly fine with that.
Crap if I keep going this will turn into a podcast in writing I think lol. Anywho, yes the arbiters of fate were eliminated, who knows if it's permanent, but as the developers have repeated, FF7 story will remain the same at heart. Iconic moments will remain. If it is not then that's a risky move to say to fans. Aerith will die to protect her loved ones and the planet and will reunite at the church in spirit with Zack perhaps. She can’t escape her role as the last living Cetra. That is her truth which she denied when she was little as shown in a flashback with kid Aerith. The other theme in FF7 is trying to move forward after a loss. Which extends to Advent Children which some of the team members has to deal with survival guilt. Some fans are getting their hopes up that Aerith will live. The developers are using Biggs and Jessie’s possible surviving scenes to prove lives lost can live in Remake. I think they may die later though if that is their fate, but we never actually saw them die in OG either. It was just implied. This is a set up so Aerith’s death scene can be impactful again in Remake, so we can cry again.
This was a lot and little bit everywhere, but I hope you enjoyed it. You can follow me on youtube in the link below where I invite other FF7 fans to talk about the story and Cloud and Tifa’s relationship Or me doing my own Cloud and Tifa commentary and Remake talk while I play the game. Thanks for reading! Hope you check out my channel and sub to check out my videos when convenient for you. Thank you!
https://www.youtube.com/c/Dipperdog15/featured
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xpeachesncream · 3 years
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acquainted | fourteen
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> series masterlist | series playlist <
summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.
pairing: jungkook x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin
genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut
words: 2.7k
warnings: cussing/mature language, overthinking, insecurities, questioning feelings/thoughts
notes: please look out for chapter 15 - it’ll be the final chapter for this series, however, you’ll get to choose your decision. ☺️ thanks as always for all the love!
tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead@bluesharksandfish@photographic-girl @yonkoghan @moonchild1​ @thebeebi​ @brightcolorsoffendme​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)
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Close to a month had passed since you had seen Jin during that rainy night. Close to a month had passed since he quit being your creative writing professor. Close to a month had passed in complete silence and you still longed for him.
Close to a month had passed and your feelings hadn't changed.
Jin was in the same position, being that he was keeping his word and waiting for you until you were ready. He had quit because he honestly couldn't keep seeing you in class and he knew it wouldn't be a good idea with where his feelings were at for you. He only thought of the time to come, even if the light seemed to get weaker as the weeks passed on. He still had hope that you two would be okay. It also gave him a little bit more time to get himself together, clean up the empty space in his home and focus on his other job with all the deadlines he had to meet. He felt lonely, but he knew he had to put himself in this position in order to confirm where he stood with you and everything else.
He had seen Grace last week when she came to grab the last of her things, putting her movers to rest. It wasn't the best reunion, but she had flatly told him she was leaving for New York to continue improving her restaurant there before opening her Nevada location. He had given her his apologies and told her he wished her the best of luck, but she shook her head and told him to save it. She also told him that she hoped he was happy with how everything turned out and that you two definitely deserved each other for how selfish you both were. Jin quietly took it as he watched her stomp off to her car with a box of things in her hands.
Okay then. What else can he say?
He stands in his backyard, sipping on some coffee before he hears his front door open and shut. The individual comes beside him but leaves enough space in between and doesn't make eye contact.
"I'm only doing this because mom told me so." Jungkook says, his hands dug deep into his sweat pockets as he looked out at the view.
"Thanks anyway."
"So, why did you call me here?"
"Want anything to eat or drink?" Jungkook looks at him and shakes his head.
"I don't plan on staying long." Jin sits on one of the chairs, with Jungkook following suit.
"I just want to say I'm sorry that I wasn't a better brother to you, and that I didn't take your feelings into consideration." Jungkook presses his lips firmly together before slowly nodding.
"I appreciate that."
"I—" Jin sighs. "I know I was selfish, and it was wrong for me to not be upfront with you, or Grace like I should have been in the first place." Jin shakes his head. "I was just caught up—Still caught up." He catches himself. "I felt so much happier that I pushed everything else aside. I hadn't felt that way in awhile." Jungkook honestly agrees, he knows the feeling. But also, he noticed the change in Jin and wasn't sure what it was. He was happier around his friends. Full of life. Like he looked forward to every day. And he liked seeing that in him. He hadn't felt that kind of happiness and confidence radiate from his brother in awhile, and if someone was pulling the best out of him, then he couldn't even be mad at it. Yeah, he was hurt, but Jin had done so much for him as they were growing up that he only wanted him to be happy in the end. He wanted Jin to take care of himself first and foremost, since he had always been taking care of everyone else around him - Grace included. So no, he couldn't hate him, nor could he stay mad.
"I get where you're coming from, I really do. And I forgive you, but I can't say that I'm over it. It hurt pretty badly coming from you, especially."
"I know, and I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that. You're my little brother, you know you come before everyone else." A small smile crept up on the corner of Jungkook's lips.
"You're a lot happier." Jin looks at him. "I can see how happy she makes you." Jin doesn't respond and simply sips his coffee.
"She does. Except, I'm not sure where I stand with her anymore."
"Why?"
"She's overwhelmed with everything going on." Jin shakes his head. "I don't know if her feelings for me are strong enough to overcome that."
"I think they are. I mean, obviously you were worth it to her, right?"
"Sure."
"Okay, it's not gonna be the easiest for me to talk about, but, coming from me as your brother, I don't think you should give up on it, especially if you both mean something to each other throughout all of this. I think the thing that matters most here is what you really want. I don't blame you for all of it, even though I came off pretty harsh. You've been taking care of me and everyone else around you that I think you should finally take care of yourself." Jungkook stares out at the view.
"I don't know, it's difficult."
"What's difficult about it?"
"I just don't want people to look down on her and I think that's what she's afraid of."
"Fuck 'em." Jungkook shrugs. "It'll take a bit for everyone to get passed it, but fuck it. You're the only one who truly knows her and again, I think that's all that matters. I mean from what I know, besides all of this, she's a really good person." Jungkook sighs. "Smart, beautiful, funny, caring."
"That she is."
"Then?"
"I don't know how else to tell her that, or prove to her. We haven't talked these past weeks."
"Maybe she just needed this time, but I wouldn't let her get away like that."
"I guess. I just don't wanna force her, or be on her case." Jin's head hangs low. He really missed you, but he wasn't going to press you and be on your case. He wasn't that type of guy, even though this shit drove him crazy.
"Look." Jungkook places his hand on Jin's shoulder. "You're always gonna be my brother and I'll always love you regardless of the dumb shit you pull. Do this for yourself. The least you could do is try, and if it doesn't work out, then you can say you tried."
"Thanks." Jin smiles toothlessly.
"One day, I'll get back at you though. I won't forget it." Jungkook playfully punches his arm, causing Jin to slightly yelp.
"Please, nothing physical. You're so much stronger than me." Jungkook smiles at him before pulling him into a hug.
"Everything will be alright, Jin."
"I hope so."
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You poked at your slice of banana bread at the dining table before lazily swirling the spoon in your coffee cup. You had spent the weekend at your parents' home, just to get some good, quality family time in. It helped you get your mind off of a lot of things and get your priorities straight. It also reminded you of who the most important people in your life were. But even with all of this, your mind still lingered to Jin every once in awhile - wondering if he was okay, how he was doing, what he was up to.
If he still loved you. If he still wanted you.
Majority of you felt like you'd never figure it out with the radio silence over the last couple of weeks. Maybe this was just it. And you were trying to come to terms with it. Be mentally prepared to accept the fact that this was just it. Even though you were just able to fully come to terms with the fact that you had loved him that night Jimin had stayed with you, listening to you cry over and over again.
"You doing okay, sweetie?" Your mom sat next to you at the table, giving you a small, reassuring smile. Your parents were amazing, and you had a strong relationship with the both of them. However, your mother had always been your confidante, the parent you could go to for anything and everything without having felt judged or anything like that. She never scolded you, never angrily got upset at you for the dumb mistakes you've made. Instead, she's always lent a warm, gentle hand and reassured you that things would always be okay. That you'd grow from the experience and that it was only up from there.
"Yeah, I think so."
"Things still clouding your mind?" You stayed silent before you looked up at her. You hadn't said much about Jin this weekend because the whole point was to stay away from it all before having to go back to your lonely apartment and face your thoughts again. But, this afternoon, before having to leave, you just needed to hear the reassurance from your mom. You needed her this weekend.
"Mom, when did you know you loved Dad?" She chuckled a bit.
"I knew I loved him when I realized he never ran off during arguments or hard times. He gave me space, but he was always there, ready to fix things. Never gave up. It made me long for him all the time. He was the only one I'd look for, even after I had just called him stupid or ridiculous." You let out a small laugh.
"That's cute." She nods, but she doesn't say anything else for a bit. Gives you a little time to ponder on her response and sit there. But at the same time, she's reading you and she's reading your body language. A mother just knows.
"Honey, whoever he is--" She pauses before she switches up her statement. "--If you haven't been able to get your mind off of him, maybe that's telling you something."
"What? How do you know?"
"I just do. I'm your mother." You sat there for awhile, poking your banana bread more before you drop your fork and look at her with your teary eyes.
"Mom, I think--" You sniff and quickly wipe your nose. "I messed up big time." She shook her head.
"If there's a will, there's a way." She softly says before you start to tell her about every single thing that had been occupying your mind. How you had a new professor that you had a harmless crush on. How that eventually spiraled out of control and things got further than you both had expected. Grace. His engagement. Seeing him during late nights, the secret calls. The LA trip. Jungkook. How he told you he loved you. Everything.
You just needed to lay this out on the table.
And yet, your mom never judged you. She sat, listened and held your hand the entire time. Caressing your hand and brushing the hair out of your face as you cried and told her you felt stupid for doing such a thing, but you loved Seokjin. You had fallen in loved with him and there was no going back for you. Not after Chance. You had opened yourself up to him and let him in even though you've tried your hardest to take it easy. To let yourself fully heal from losing Chance.
You couldn't help it. Even though you were afraid.
"Ohh, babygirl." She says softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "I know it hasn't been easy, and it's not the best situation to be in, but if you're still looking for him after all of this--" She pauses. "If he's still waiting for you to be ready, maybe it's just meant to happen that way. You shouldn't stop yourself just because you're afraid. You might regret that more."
"I know." You sniffed. "But it just feels so messed up, you know? Even though that's how I feel about him, I feel like I'll never over overcome the anxiety or the what if's."
"The circumstances weren't the greatest, I'll tell you that. But you can't help who you fall in love with, right? Whether it turns out good or bad, your paths cross for a reason. Whether it's a blessing or another lesson to learn from. And from what I hear, it sounds like he was at least able to make you happy and pull you out of this dark hole you had been living in since Chance passed." She says looking at you, worry filling her eyes. She gently caresses your hand with her thumb before letting out a small sigh. "I know Chance's passing was the hardest thing you have ever had to endure, and I know it has been incredibly hard to pull yourself out of the dark since then. It's been hard to see you go through this."
"Jin did make me happy. I felt wanted."
"But, is that enough for you?" You shrug. "Honey, all I want is for you to stop shielding yourself from the world and living in the shadows. I know it's been difficult, and I know Chance was everything to you. But, he would have wanted you to be happy, okay?" She nods reassuringly. "He would have wanted that for you and so much more. No matter what that means - if you stay with Jin, or if you go and focus on yourself. Let yourself live and be happy, baby. It's okay." You let the remaining tears fall as you nod in agreement with her. Suddenly, a huge weight has been lifted off of your shoulders, hearing it come from your own mother.
Let yourself live and be happy, baby. It's okay.
It's almost like you can hear Chance's voice coming through and that's what makes you feel at peace.
And so, you pack up your things to head back over to your apartment, feeling 10x more refreshed than when you got here. You hopped into your car, debating if you'd send Jin a text before getting home.
[ryujin] 3:37pm: hey, are you almost going home?
[y/n] 3:38pm: just about to leave to head back. what's up?
[ryujin] 3:39pm: nothing, baby! just drive safely for me. i'll see you when you get back? text me if you wanna go somewhere.
[y/n] 3:40pm: okay! but aren't you with namjoon?
[ryujin] 3:41pm: yessss and? he can wait. lol
[y/n] 3:42pm: jeez lol don't do that to him! i'll text you later though if anything. have fun! be safe!
Over the weeks, Ryujin was able to tell you about the time she spent time with Namjoon and how she unexpectedly spent the night at his place before picking you up at the airport. You watched as she told you the details, the rosy tint filling her cheeks as she blushed and smiled from ear to ear. It made you happy that she was happy, and that she was exploring things with him. You didn't know much about him personally, but from what you've heard, he sounded like a great guy. You wanted a good guy for your bestfriend, someone who could appreciate her for who she is - a loud, tiny-but-packed-with-attitude, smart, beautiful woman.
You figured you'd text Jin when you get settled at home. It'll at least buy you some time to formulate the text, and what you'd say when you see him in person. It's a nice day out and it's contributing a lot to the calmness you're starting to feel. Things feel like they're falling into place, even though you hadn't had a chance to talk to Jin yet. Things just felt better than they have been in awhile.
You get to your apartment building and park in your assigned space before grabbing your things out of the trunk. Your duffle had gotten a lot heavier, being that your mom shoved some of the things she had bought you into the bag, plus an additional bag full of groceries. You slowly walked into the building and towards your floor, only to be greeted by an individual standing in the hallway, looking towards the opposite end of the hallway.
In front of your door.
"Jin?" You ask as he slowly turns around, his expression warm and inviting. He carried a huge bouquet of flowers in front of him, so huge it almost covered that small smile he gave off.
"Y/N."
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sailordiavolo · 3 years
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suicide prevention month 2021 - things that helped me stay alive
i heard that this month is suicide prevention month in the united states. as someone who’s struggled for many years with suicide myself, and is currently in the mystical “better place”, i feel it’s my duty to open this can of worms. i am unafraid of the stigma that comes with discussing such things.
i’ll go over things that helped me to cope during dark times. these may also apply to being depressed in general (?) because no offense but “drinking water” doesn’t help as much as google seems to think it does. note that these aren’t be all end all solutions, more like techniques that helped me to stay sane on some of my worst days.
1. get rid of everything that’s an immediate danger to your health.
if you’re actively a danger to yourself, safety-proof your home. don’t keep sharp objects lying around, or anything dangerous of the like. get rid of anything toxic or chemical, and don’t keep medicines in excess.
2. if you can’t make yourself happy, try to mildly amuse yourself instead
thinking “happy thoughts” doesn’t really work for me, especially if i’m in the throes of a depressive episode. i do have many things that make me happy, but i seem to forget about all of them in dark times. that being said, really dumb jokes get me every time. if i can make myself laugh, smile or chuckle, i’ve already made it 10 times easier for myself. and if i can do that, usually it’s easy to make myself forget about the original reason i was upset in the first place.
dear reader, i don’t know what would count as “mildly amusing” to you, but here’s some things that work for me.
i have a self care playlist on youtube. mine’s pretty dumb, but making a playlist like that of things that you find entertaining or amusing might help. another amazing one is distantcry’s worst beat ever collection.
very specific songs that really get me going include metrostation’s shake it, botdf’s bewitched, rm’s expensive girl, and she past away’s ruh.
3. do some self care activities
self care is very very important. when you feel like you’re absolute worst, that’s a free pass to be as selfish as you need to be until you feel better. no job, no person, no drama is worth dying over. all of that can wait until after you’re finished what you’re doing. if you’re not really sure what to do as self care activities, i’ll list some suggestions.
take a hot bath, if possible. if you have the resources, add bubbles, flower petals, bathe salts or candles. i did this the other day and sat in the bath and ate crumpets. it was amazing. if not, have a steaming hot shower. (i know it’s hard to find the energy, but it’ll help, i promise)
watch your favourite childhood show, or your favourite show at the moment, or play a video game.
sleep all day, or take the day off.
eat your favourite food, or the best food available to you right now.
spend some money if you have it. personally, i never spend all my money in a week, i save some in case i have a panic attack or something so then i can spend money on something totally random to make myself feel better.
change up your appearance. i usually end up cutting my hair short or randomly dying it, but this can also mean dressing in a way that makes you feel good, painting your nails, or doing your makeup.
4. know how to comfort yourself
this is related to the last one but knowing what brings you comfort is very important. it took me a very long time to figure out what things i find comforting. list the things that you find comforting, and you can use those to help yourself feel better. it might be music, interests, even something abstract.
if you can’t think of anything, then make sure to pay attention to things that make you feel nice/comforted, and list them down. it’s also important to know what will send you over the edge, so you can avoid it.
5. distraction topics
this may help with anxiety as well, but having distraction topics can help you to calm down and forget about what you were worried about. it’s good to have a few distraction topics up your sleeve in case of emergency. i’ll list a few of my favourites, but if you ever need one don’t be afraid to ask me directly, or send me an ask on my blog! i have a ridiculous amount of misc knowledge just floating around.
dinosaur fossils of mothers protecting their nest have been found, meaning that dinosaurs probably felt some form of motherly love. love on earth is billions and billions of years old. creatures have loved each other on this planet since before the dawn of history. imagine being the first organism to love on this planet and what that must’ve been like
some cave paintings were animated. they had different frames painted over each other, and the flickering of a flame in the cave would cause the images to appear as if they were moving. isn’t that extremely profound?
i saw somewhere, that scientists attempted to see what an electron was made out of, or something to that effect. it’s made of a pool of energy, which is essentially nothing. no form, no matter. everything is made out of nothing.
6. romanticise your future
a lot of us probably don’t have a concept of the future, or if we do, it’s something that sounds absolutely horrible. well, forget about that! think instead about how hot n sexy you’ll be in your 30’s, 40’s, etc. don’t worry about how you’ll get there for now, your future self can take care of that. think about your ideal life, and get excited like it’s absolutely going to happen. the more you think about it, the more it will become true.
7. romanticise your current self
nobody in your life understands you? that’s because you’re the hot brooding mysterious one. struggle with very dark thoughts? omg you’d be so powerful as a jujutsu sorcerer. people are staring? it’s because they’re in love with you. people whispering as you go by? also in love with you. no friends? the universe had to keep you humble because otherwise you’d be too perfect. hate the way you look today? you’re just a littel troll babie. the more amusing these thoughts are, the better. and if you think these things for long enough, eventually it will trick your brain into thinking it’s true. who’s gonna check you? the telepaths?
8. put things into perspective
i am prone to delusional thoughts when i’m panicked, and i have to remind myself to reel it in. think about it, you’re more afraid of answering the phone than you are of death? doesn’t sound very cash money of you, bro.
think about how many years you’ve really lived, especially if you think you’ve failed in life. take 12 years off your age, because childhood doesn’t count. also take off any other years which you were forced to live the way someone else wanted you to live, rather than for myself.
for example, i’m currently 23. my household was pretty strict, so i couldn’t really do anything before age 18. which gives me a grand total of 5 years of me trying to figure out life by myself. it helps me to remember how young i actually am in the grand scheme of things, and that i have plenty of time to still figure things out.
9. find a safe outlet for dark urges
for me, art and journaling really helped. music too, especially when i felt like i could relate to either the lyrics, or just the tone/mood/feel of the song. it might be exercise, or you may like to do creative writing or make oc’s. sometimes you may just need a friend or someone to listen.
if you don’t have anyone to talk to, you can message me or shoot me an anon
10. sleep it off
sleep is not going to cure anything, but if i’m pushed over the edge and am struggling with dark thoughts, going to sleep almost always helps. most of the time i still feel like shit in the morning, but no longer in the mood to try anything hasty.
lastly: suicide is not the easy way out
note: i’m gonna be discussing my own experiences with suicide in this part, so if you don’t want to see that, then don’t read past this point
suicide is not the easy way out. it’s messy and it’s ugly and it’s painful and it’s gonna bring out the worst in people. i’ve been struggling with it since age 19.
one particular attempt landed me in the hospital after i swallowed a bunch of painkillers. i couldn’t think or speak properly, i was slurring my words and tripping over myself. my doctor brushed me off and said that it “would probably get better” with time, but it never did. it improved, but my mind has never been the same as it once was, and one of my biggest insecurities to this day is when i struggle to learn new things or get things mixed up that i shouldn’t. i struggle to learn the simplest of things, and my reaction times tend to be very slow.
the point is, sometimes you don’t die, sometimes you just end up hurting yourself in a way that won’t get better. nobody needs that. if had’ve known how to calm myself down back then, i might not’ve tried.
i don’t mind talking about it now, since i’ve dedicated so much time in learning how to uplift myself. i may be in the “better place” now, but you don’t need to rush yourself to be better immediately. sometimes you need to be patient, use baby steps, or learn to accomodate yourself where you are. these things take time. that’s okay.
and remember, you are loved and very much needed to be here on the planet with us.
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amindofstone · 3 years
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Match up, No. 9
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@starlightbydaybright hat gefragt:
Hello! Saw you were taking match-ups and I was wondering if I could request one. Only done one before for another fandom, and I was wondering who I’d align with for One Piece ^^
I'm an INFP and generally an introvert, finding it difficult to express myself when I'm around people I'm unfamiliar with or just not close to. I can be both quiet and shy; quiet when I have no interest in making good impression on that person (a stranger I'll see once and never again) and shy when I'm genuinely trying to make myself acceptable to them. But, I do trust easily, so it's not hard to get close enough with me that I'll open up about almost everything, so long as they understand have my boundaries (that'll shift depending on how close). I'm also very affectionate with people I'm close with, particularly through physical touch, since I've been pretty touch starved. If you're close friends with me, you can find me constantly looking for a hug, but I can respect boundaries since not everyone enjoys contact.
The situation would be a bit different romance wise, since I’d revert a bit back to my introverted side, but also very affection-seeking at the same time. I say affection seeking as in I’d crave time and activities spent together with them, but I’d be afraid to ask/initiate, at least during the early beginnings of the relationship. I’d be constantly seeking affirmation of their love, and since I’ve never been in a relationship before (but desperately wanted one), they’d be constantly receiving my love too ❤️
While being an introvert in reality, I find it much easier to speak with confidence online. as I actually have time to contemplate what I can say. It's when I'm either with close friends or on the internet, that I can go on passionate endless rants or show my passive aggressive side. I'm usually pacifist, but if something irks me enough, I can and will pitch in snide/sarcastic remark or two, or if it's more serious; I will write out whole sophisticated and well worded paragraph that'd sound all polite with a hidden snarky tone.
I'm pretty much a hopeless romantic, so there's lot of couple things I want to try when I find someone. Back hugs, bridal carry, tickle fights, you name it. While I do enjoy these displays of affection (comes with the happy kind of embarrassment aka. I feel embarrassed that others sees it but I’m happy because I know they’re not doing it out of maliciousness and because they truly love me), small gestures are appreciated too; a gentle squeeze of the hand, a passing smile, etc.
As for hobbies, I enjoy reading, writing, (occasionally) drawing, but most of all; probably singing. I enjoy a wide variety of songs, depending on what mood I'm in, but I particularly like songs about love. Looking for someone to sing the duet love songs with me, doesn't matter how good or bad they are at singing. They can be tone deaf for all I care, it's the thought that matters 😊
I'm very emotionally sensitive, and can both laugh and cry easily. A random stranger online wished me good day? I'll be in good mood for awhile. Watched a 'mildly' sad movie? (Extra emphasis on mildly) I better have new box of tissue on the side just in case. It'd be nice to have someone that can either comfort me or at least tolerate my emotions, so I wouldn't be irking them 😞
I don't really have a type when looking for significant other but being an INFP does make the romance thing complicated. It'd be nice to have someone that's far along on the extroverted side (just not happy go lucky and can be serious) since, despite being introverted, I like to experience new things. I'm just too afraid to try alone and prefer it if someone else recommends it first. Someone to prompt me and nudge me to do something, but won’t take it too far if I really looked uncomfortable. (I’m also a procrastinator so they gotta find out the right ratio between pushing vs. taking it too far 😅) In relationship, I'd value trust and loyalty the most, since both are important in keeping the healthy relationship. If both sides could equally trust and be trusted, then there wouldn't be place for insecurity or fear. This ties in with another part of me being an INFP; I want a relationship that lasts forever. While it's weird to decide how long lasting the love will be early in the relationship, I don't think I can fully commit myself to someone, knowing that it'll end (through the other side falling out of love with me, finding interest in someone else, etc.) (natural causes like death are fine, even though I will still be sad 🥲)
As for appearance, I’m a 5”4 female with slightly wavy black hair that reach nearly to my waist. I don’t think I’m particularly short, but then again, every anime character seems to be straight up giants XD (Man, I was born with the wrong genes) I’m overall very plain, with black hair, brown eyes, but I’ve always been told I had pretty long eyelashes and big bright eyes. Average weight for my height, and flat chested :’)
As for the preference for gender, I’m mainly attracted to guys. I had some (very few) crushes on a small selection of female anime characters, but that were very rare, like 3, compared to my (insert large number) male crushes
Thank you in advance and sorry for how long this is 😔
P.s. I feel like I need to emphasize I’m still an introvert, since the personality I described is only limited to my very small friend group
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a/n:
Hey there? How are you doing? Thank you so much for requesting. First off I should be apologizing for making you wait so long. I hope you´re not mad at me but lately there is a lot happening in my life. In my private life but also in my college life. But let´s put that aside and get to your request.
I have to thank you for the detailed info about you because that helped me to choose a match up for you so much. Like I instantly could think of someone. Not only did it help me to match you up with someone but also to come up with a plot. So I came up with this little imagine/hedcanon… I really don´t know what to call my work for the imaginies so I go with work. XD Anyways I really don´t know what to do at this point. Your request and your personality gave me such a good idea for a plot that I tried my best to keep it short because I decided to turn this request and my ideas and thoughts that are flying around in my mind to an actual FANFICTION! AHHHHHHHH. I can´t stop thinking about it. The idea sounds so damn good in my head that it makes me smile like an idiot right now! Uff I can´t wait to find time writing it down. AHAHH, but I fear that I already gave aways so much with this!!!! *pouts Doesn´t matter I´ll do it anyways. AHHHHHHHHHHH Thank you so damn much for requesting!
Anyways! Back to my work now. If there is anything that bothers you or you simply hate please make sure to tell me so I can change it and give you whatever you´d like. Other than that happy reading my dear!
Match up rules can be found HERE.
Warning(s): Maybe grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I´m still improving in every aspect (Please have mercy on that.)
!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. Please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to: I sadly don't know. Please tell me of you know so I can give credits. Thank you in advance. !!!
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· I decided to pair you up with KILLER
· Like am I the only person that thinks that he is not getting the screen time and appreciation he deserves? Because that is the damn case! ODA GIVE THIS MAN THE LOVE AND APPRECIATION HE DESERVES. And while we´re at it I wouldn´t mind if I would get a bit more of Eustass Kid too… Thank you in advance. <3
· But that’s not the point. Please dear requesting beautiful human being give this man and me, your hopelessly dreamy author a chance. Thank you, I really appreciate. <3
· aNyWaYssssS.
+
· “y/n? Are you still awake?”, asked the blond man softly. “No worries I won´t make you carry me to bed again.”, you said with a giggle. You couldn´t see his face but you knew that he was smiling. “I don´t mind that you know? I like having you close to me without having to fear to see you hid under the blanket for who knows how long.”, you rolled you eyes and hit his arms. “That only happened because that idiot captain of yours annoyed the hell out of me. That was embarrassing Killer.”, you slowly put one leg over the railing and then the next one. Making sure you don´t fall down the ship. “What happened? Didn´t you drag me out our cabin to watch the stars?”, asked the muscular man who held you close to him while making sure you didn´t fell. “I did but now I´d like to look at something different. Something even more beautiful. Something that gives me warmth and happiness. Something that keeps me alive and always makes sure I am doing fine.”, talking to the blond pirate while sitting at the railing was one of the rare moments you were close to an eye level with him. “You mean my mask?”, asked the man with a tiled head that got you to roll your eyes and hit his chest. “Great you destroyed the sweet moment. I hate you. Make a step back so I can get down. I want to go back to bed and drown in regret of dating you.”, you tried to push him away but he was obviously stronger and threw you over his shoulder. “Of course you hate me. That was also the exact same thing you were moaning a while ago. Let´s go back to bed nerd.”
· As sweet and loving your relationship was now with the pirate it also started like that. Wanna know how? Alright let me get comfortable in my bed and get started. Story TIIMMMEEEE!!!
· An island well known for their universities and scientist. An island full of top ranked doctors.
· Physics, chemistry, biology, astrology was well thaught in the schools of the island. An island well known around the world. An island ruled by a powerful devil fruit user.
· An island in which every civilian had a talent in another field. And you? You sadly had an impressive talent for languages.
· Why sadly you wonder? Well the amount of times you had to run for your dear life because some pirates could come and kidnap you and make you read the poneglyphs is immense.
· Once even the infamous Red haired Shanks came and asked you with the hope to have someone who could read them. But sadly you couldn´t. You told him that you were done with pirates coming for you or your best friends. You regretted learning all of that and hated yourself for that. Shanks and Beckman to whom your were talking to really felt bad for you and claimed the island as their territory after they had a chat with ruler and made a deal.
· That was that saved you and your friends for years and made you happy. You were thankful to the red hair pirates and always treated them with meals and drinks when they came visiting the island. You were happy for 5 years. 5 years until these stupid reckless pirates came.
· And now? Now you hated yourself all over again
· You knew that not every pirate was like the red hair pirates. Nice and respectful. They didn´t kill innocent people and destroyed civilizations only to get some gold and diamonds. But these? These were horrible. Cold and cruel.
· “Someone make this btch talk otherwise I´ll do it by cutting her into pieces only stropping when IT actually starts to answer my god damn questions!”, screamed a tall and guy with red hair.
· You were scared. Tied on a mast on their ship, you feared for your life. Screaming for help was not an option since you were already on the sea since a while now.
· The man that was yelling at you none stop was now holding a blond man with a mask at his collar and growling at him. The man might have a mask on but you somehow had the feeling that he was talking to the man with the red fur coat. “Clear the deck! NOW!!”; yelled the man before he left inside the ship. Slowly every man on deck was leaving you alone. You wanted to ask them were or why the left but you knew that they wouldn´t give you an answer. You were a prisoner. A captive. A pathetic human they took on board. With the last pirate leaving you behind, a door that was located behind the mast you were tied on closed while the need to cry grew inside of you. How long am I here by now? One hour? Two or three? Was anyone missing me back at home? Were they already looking for me? Thoughts that occupied your mind were blurring your vision. You were looking right in front of you but also not. Your eyes were wide open but your vision was back at home. Home were you belonged.
· “Hey. Hey can you hear me? Hey you alright, woman? Hello?”, a man was squatting in front of you and waving with his hands in front of your face. You were deeply lost in your thoughts that you neither heard him coming nor saw him sitting right in front of you.
· But the moment he touched you tight you screamed and got back to reality. “Please don´t touch me. Please don´t hurt me. Please I beg you. Please.”, fear was written all over your face. You saw yourself death with a huge puddle of your blood. “Alright I won´t touch you. It´s just that I´ve been sitting in front of you for 5 minutes now and the only thing you did was breath and say no. Anyways here is something to drink. You´ve been her for four hours now. Half of the time unconscious and the other one either basically mute or in a trance.”, the guy in front of you was the same one who got the mad man to leave and clear the deck. It made you wonder who he was that he had such a power but you didn´t dare to ask. “Here I hold it for you and you drink.”, the glass was put on your lips and you drank. You didn´t knew how thirsty you were until your lungs were wetted by the water. Finished drinking he put a blanket over your legs since the position your were in didn´t allow you to cover yourself properly. And the fact that you were wearing a dress wasn´t helping at all.
· “Alright. You had something to drink I got you a blanket now tell me are you able to talk to me and answer my questions?”, you nodded. “Good. Now listen to me. There is this language that is called Krisanasy. As far as I know there is a tiny amount of people who are able to speak that and you are one of these. Am I right?”, you nodded. “How well are you in it?”, you gulped and looked at the man with the mask “I know the most important basics. I remember basic grammar rules and a good amount of vocabulary but I´m not that good in it. I didn´t worked with anything that included this language since years now.”, the masked man nodded and fully sat down now. “Would you be able to get back in it if you had some books and scripts to work with?”, slowly you understood where this was supposed to lead. You knew that if you said yes they would keep you as their prisoner and make your work for them. And if they had everything they would kill you because there would be no more use for you. But if you said no now and refused to talk to him he would probably also kill you. You were in a dilemma. You didn´t wanted to die but also didn´t wanted to die after you helped them. They were criminals. Feared and hated by the government and any human around the world. You looked down on your lap and let your head fall forward so your long black hair covered your face. “Hey I asked you something. Would you be able to do that?”, his voice was deep and rough but in the same time soft and gentle. That irritated you. it make you realize that him being nice to you now was just a way to get under your skin and make you do whatever they wanted. And then they simply would kill you in the most brutal and cruel way. “Hey, woman. Are you listening?”, you felt helpless. “I don´t want to die. Please let me go. Please. I beg you. Please.”, tears were streaming down you cheeks you couldn´t hold back anymore. He came closer and lifted you face. “Listen here you are a smart woman. Stop crying for fcks sake. If I would be you I would have made these pirates work for me. Use your damn brain and stop crying. Do you really think anyone in here would kill you? Heck no! They need your help. They need your brain because all of them are basically stupid. Like damn I need you to answer all of my questions before my captain with anger issues comes and beats the sht out of me. Now answer me woman. Are you able to get back in it if we got you some scripts to work on?”, you nodded while more tears streamed down you cheeks. You felt pathetic. You felt worthless and used. Helping them would turn you into a criminal too and ruin everything you worked on. Everything the emperor did for you and the island would be wasted. “See wasn’t that hard to answer.”
· The questioning went on for a while you didn´t know for how long but you knew that a long time passed since the sun stared to set. “Alright. Now I give you two options. One, stay here. Tied up on the mast no matter what kind of weather we face. Two you swear to obey me no matter what kind of order I give you and you will be able to sleep on a bed. You will get food and tomorrow you will start working on the scripts we give you. You choose.”, with your head hung lowly you said number two and instantly got released from the chains and handcuffs. He helped you stand up and covered you in the blanket before he led you into his cabin. “Wait here. Sit there and don´t do anything stupid as long as I´m not here. If you do anything stupid I won´t be able to help you. Got it?”, he didn´t even wait until you answered or gave any reaction he simply left and closed the door after him. So you waited while sitting with a lowly hung head. Minutes passed and he came back. “Your clothes are dirty. The bathroom is empty so you can take a bath or shower. Anything you want but I´ll be in the room with you. Because of one I have to make sure no one is coming in and secondly to watch over you and make sure you don´t do anything stupid. Got it. Fine. Take this towel and these clothes. We don´t have any female crewmates so you have to be wearing with my clothes until we dock on another island and you get to buy clothes.”
· The man with the mask took care of you for the rest of the day. He took you to shower and gave you fresh clothes. You had dinner with him alone in the kitchen when no one was around and got back to sleep. And no matter what you did he made sure to keep a respectful distance towards you. Whenever he had to come closer or touch you to take care of your wounds he would warn you. The day kept going like that. Nothing else was said about the following days and the thing they wanted you for. Only necessary things were said that were needed at the moment. And you only gave short replays or only answered with a head movement.
· Slowly the day passed by and the night took over with the moon putting the world alight. You were back in his cabin with him sitting on an armchair and you lying in bed sleeping with one hand tied up on the bed.
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lupinzapezit · 3 years
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hello i thought it was probably time for a state of the blog update so,,, if you wanna know where ive been and whats happening read below (tw for mental health / s.uicide mentions)
if you do read, please like this post just for my own knowledge
okay so first of all i rly hate to be making this post because i absolutely hate being that person in the rpc who just constantly whines and guilt trips people over their own mental health without taking steps irl to work on it. im not gonna go into a lot of detail bc frankly its a lot and i dont super feel like it. (also i feel like its only kinda acceptable when the Big Blogs post a lot of ooc which i am definitely not, like my value is only tied to how much content i output but thats something im working on in my own time and not anyones fault persay)
basically i had a lot of shit happen at the end of 2019 that cause me to go into a very low period and while i was working on improving from that time, obviously the world had different plans plus last year was my final year of uni. i moved out in february this year in the hopes that it would continue to help me heal but along with the fallout of some other events, it’s left me incredibly alone and with a fraction of the support network i once had. june was extremely rough for me where i attempted twice and nearly didnt make it to my 21st birthday.
pretty much with working in customer service and australia being in and out of lockdown constantly (which makes my work much busier because people contact us when they cant go into stores), ive barely had any room to breathe or to try and work through things? and because writing is tied to my goal career of film and thats been difficult as well, you can probably guess why ive been struggling lately to be on tumblr and to write.
now dont get me wrong i adore my muses and being able to write. bucky has been an extremely fun and interesting character for me to explore. i literally never thought i’d end up writing a marvel muse and its caused a lot of hesitation due to how i approach him and feeling insecure. which is fine! thats natural! and ive been doing my best not to project those insecurities onto the dash and my partners but because of how poor my mental health is lately, that means ive just been very inactive. tumblr has always felt like a place where if you’re not constantly active then you lose people and while i know that’s not necessarily the case, it’s still a struggle. when i am here, it just feels like yelling into a void which is not a great motivator.
so what does this actually mean? tbh i’m still trying to figure that out. i made this blog initially with the intent of it being quite small and focused on character exploration n the like and i do still want to keep that goal. there’s a lot to bucky i still very much want to write and explore which i havent because of various reasons. i dont necessarily want to leave but i feel increasingly unsure about my presence which sucks because i have made some very good friends in the last year and a bit stint ive had on tumblr since leaving my old main rpc. i dont really want to give up this passion. 
for the time being, i’m probably still going to be low activity and my presence on the dash will be minimal. if that turns you off, feel free to soft block or unfollow. you can tailor your own experience the way you want. replies are probably going to be more queued and i wanna put a stronger emphasis on longer threads and character/dynamic development as i originally intended. again thats not everyone’s cup of tea so if you wanna leave then feel free. but atm i dont really feel connected to my partners and mutuals which sucks and i wanna improve on that. btw if you are reading this and youre down with this, message me and say hi!! i know that tumblr rp has developed this culture of not approaching people (and i struggle w this too) but the easiest way to plot with me is just to ask.
so yeah! tldr; brain extremely sucks, been feeling very disconnected and uncertain about my muse/writing capabilities/general self esteem, trying to work on that by taking things at my own pace and having bigger threads/metas more infrequently. i’ll still be more active on discord of course but hopefully these steps will help me feel a bit better about being here. 
thanks for reading all of this if you did, i really appreciate it :)
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Today have two writing ideas, pick your favorite! 1) HCBBS fluff! Every hermit when swapping bases as like "you mean MY base", but Impulse and Stress just act like they're babysitting each other's children. (I basically just want Dadpulse and Stressmom :>) 2) More Hermit Among us! This time a fictional scenario, where Zedaph joins in one of the games. Impulse and Tango get impostor, and Zed third impostors just for them. Maybe he even finds a way to kill someone, who knows?
I decided to go with the first one (though I definitely do want to write Zed in Among Us soon), mostly because I had been wanting to do something similar for a while! I apologise that Stress’s section is a little lacking but I’m not as familiar with her. I hope Impulse’s part will make up for it! :D
...
  It was fair to say that StressMonster101 had been fairly apprehensive about the big move at first. After finding out another Hermit was going to have her base for a while and vice versa, she hadn’t been sure who to hope for. But it was also fair to say that once Stress had found out she would be swapping with Impulse, her excitement levels skyrocketed. 
  After giving each other a quick tour of their bases, Stress and Impulse separated. Her mind already racing with ideas and plans, Stress returned to her new base and went straight to the storage area, gazing down through the floor at the unfinished cactus farm as she did.
  “Right!” She beamed. “This place is a little lacking in something very, VERY important: pink. Everyone needs more pink in their lives, especially Impulse.”
  So the very first thing she did was swap out the blue concrete highlights around the base to bright pink concrete, followed by replacing the blue stained glass lining the walkways with pink stained glass. 
  “Perfect,” she said proudly, admiring her work. “Impulse could definitely use more pink in his life.”
  As she went back into the base, she could almost feel the energy inside the pyramid changing, as if the whole base itself was complaining about her decision. 
  “Don’t you give me that,” she laughed aloud, to nobody in particular. “I’m not gonna do anything TOO drastic. I’m just babysitting you for Impulse, yannow.”
  The base seemed to object to that statement too. 
  “You know what Impulse needs now?” Stress proclaimed to the base. “A lovely little indoor park. Working on that cactus farm has gotta be so monotonous; he needs somewhere to relax, surrounded by flowers and- OOH, I SHOULD GET HIM SOME BEES!”
  She dashed off immediately to root through Impulse’s chests for flowers, mumbling to herself about how happy he would be when he saw the changes she was going to make to his base. Nothing too drastic, just some little things to improve Impulse’s daily mood and bring some more life to the place. While she couldn’t deny that the build itself was fantastic, it just lacked a certain spark that made it truly feel alive. 
  Stress vowed to bring this spark to the base. 
...
  Waking up after his first night in his new base, Impulse momentarily didn’t know where he was. Then he registered the decor and remembered what had gone on the day before and why exactly he was sleeping in a pink bed surrounded by stark white walls. 
  He gingerly got out of bed and smoothed down the covers. Normally he wouldn’t bother making his bed, but it felt weird not to do so here in Stress’s base.
  No, not Stress’s base, he corrected himself reluctantly. My base.
  He shivered. Even just thinking those words felt wrong. 
  After he had left the bed as presentable as he had found it, Impulse headed into the main part of the skull base and stood in the middle of the room, trying to think of ideas that weren’t too invasive. The last thing he wanted was to change something big and then have Stress hate it. 
  And it really didn’t help that the style of this base was so different to his own. 
  Glancing to his right, he spotted a slightly raised section of the floor that looked almost like a stage. Recalling that Stress, like himself, was a drummer, he got an idea. 
  Half an hour later, he put the last block back in place and dusted off his hands. It was time to test out his invention.
  He flicked the switch in front of him and grinned as a funky beat started playing. As he stood up, he couldn’t help bouncing from side to side in time to the beat, even going so far as to incorporate some dance moves. 
  “She’ll like this,” he said confidently to himself. “She likes music. Ooh, maybe I should order a drumset from Beef’s shop to put around it? That’d be pretty cool.”
  As he turned the lever off, he spotted the chicken Stress had spawned randomly in her base, staring at him from a few blocks away.
  “Hey,” he said slowly. “Uh… you wanna dance?”
  He turned the drumbeat back on and awkwardly shuffled through some dance moves. 
  The chicken just stared back at him.
  Impulse sighed and switched off the beat. “What do you want from me? Why do you hate me so much?” He paused. “And why am I so insecure about being judged by a chicken?” 
  He strode past the chicken and started looking through the chests stacked by the wall, looking for anything that might spark a new project idea. All he found, however, was stacks upon stacks of building materials that only served to remind him of the base he had left behind and all the plans he had been itching to get started on. 
  Closing the last chest, he stepped back in disappointment. No inspiration whatsoever. Stress probably had loads of ideas for the pyramid, so Impulse felt bad that he couldn’t think of a single thing to improve his new base. He was letting Stress down already.
  Something rubbed his leg, causing him to yelp and leap to the side, expecting to see a monster.
  “Ugh,” he groaned, nudging the chicken away with his foot. “You scared the crap outta me, you-.” He broke off before he inadvertently called the chicken a horrible name. “Buddy, don’t scare me. Please. I’m still not comfortable here.”
  The chicken cocked its head and continued staring at him.
  This time, Impulse gazed back. “Are you hungry? Is that why you keep staring at me?”
  He dug out some seeds from one of the chests and hesitantly held them out to the chicken, which approached him immediately and pecked them out of his hand.
  Impulse chuckled and watched the chicken gobble up the seeds. “You really WERE hungry, huh? Well, maybe you’ll stop bothering me now.”
  Once the chicken had finished the seeds, it turned and waddled back into the main room. It stopped in front of the lever and pecked at it.
  Impulse curiously followed the chicken and flicked the lever on. “Is this what you want?”
  The chicken jiggled back and forth in time with the drum beat, its little head wiggling from side to side. “There you go, you little drumstick,” Impulse laughed. “Now you’ve got a full belly, you wanna dance.”
  He paused. “Hmm. That’d make a good name for you. Hey, you wanna be called Drumstick?”
  The chicken looked up at him and clucked happily. Or rather, Impulse assumed it was a happy noise. 
  “Then I guess your name is Drumstick now,” Impulse chuckled.
  Drumstick responded by laying an egg. 
  Impulse couldn’t help laughing at the comedic timing of the event. “Oh dear. You’re a funny chicken, aren’t you? Shall we see if we can get you a little friend?”
  He picked up the egg and threw it at the wall. It burst open and a tiny chick fluttered down to the ground.
  “Heeeey, you’re a mommy, Drumstick!” Impulse beamed and picked up the little baby from the ground, before bringing it over to his feathered friend. “Look. This is your baby. And I guess I hatched it, so would that make me her dad?”
  Impulse blinked as he fully registered what he had just said. “Nope, don’t wanna open that can of worms today. So what should we call you?” He gently tickled the baby under its neck with the back of his finger. “You’re just a little nugget, aren’t you? Shall we call you Nugget? Drumstick, should we call your little baby Nugget?”
  Drumstick clucked and bobbed her head.
  “Great! Impulse, Drumstick, and Nugget, the three musketeers.” A smile spread over Impulse’s face. “Hey, you know what? You two can be my project. I’ll build you a nice little area to live in and make it look all pretty. Stress would really like that. Would you guys like that?”
  Nugget responded by chirping quietly and snuggling into Impulse’s neck.
  He chuckled and gently stroked her feathers. “I hope I don’t get too attached to you guys. You’re both gonna have to stay here when I move back to my base.”
  Drumstick made a sad noise, as if she had understood his words. And perhaps she had. 
  Pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind, Impulse lifted Drumstick onto his left shoulder and Nugget onto his right, ignoring the slight twinge as their claws dug into his skin. 
  “C’mon, gals,” he said, unable to stop grinning. “Let’s get started.”
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Hi! After watching the unboxed video I have a little prompt about lando boxing: Carlos discovers it by watching the video and then asks Lando why he started now and Lando goes all insecure because he thinks Carlos is really good at boxing and he never dared to do it in front of him because he's just learning so he waited for him to leave the team, then Carlos offers him some boxing lessons so he can improve faster because that's TOTALLY his motivation and not pining his favourite person down
Hey, anonym! 🙋🏼‍♀️
Thanks for your great request - I just couldn’t resist to write some sweet, little story to it 😉
I hope you will love it 🥰
Lando had just let himself fallen down onto his couch to watch his new favourite Netflix show, when his phone did ring. He was a little annoyed about who was distracting him, while he leaned forward to catch it from the small table in front of him, but his annoyance quickly faded away, when he saw the caller ID on the display.
“Qué pasa, Chili?” He answered his friend’s FaceTime call with his usual already cheeky smile on his lips. “Cabrón!” It came instantly in a reproachful voice from the older one, he did only use when Lando had done something wrong, once again.
Quickly Lando thought with widened eyes about what he might have done wrong this time, but even after thinking about it for moments, he really wasn’t aware of any guilt at all.
“What is it? I haven’t done anything, I promise. At least I’m not aware of it now.” Lando told the Spaniard, while he placed his palm on top of his chest in a gesture of honesty.
“Sure you have, cabrón. Why have you never said anything to me?” It came from the other line, and if Lando was serious, his ex-teammate looked a little hurt, when not even offended. Damn, he must have really done something wrong then, but he still didn’t know what yet.
“I really don’t get it, tell me! Why do you look at me like that?” The younger one replied abashed, being already a little nervous, when not even scared, because he really seemed to have hurt his friend this time.
Carlos sighted into the phone, following he even rolled his eyes about his unknown, before he finally enlightened him “I’m talking about your boxing. Why have you never told me so? Why do you have started now, after I’m gone? You know, I have always wanted to like to box with you together all the time, but you always refused.”
Shocked and perplexed, Lando looked at his phone display, while he got all hot and also a cold shiver ran down the length of his suddenly so sweating back at the same time. “I.. Why.. How.. Who has told you so?” The young Brit stammered unsure and uncomfortable with being caught.
“No one told me so, I was a little bored and when I have got the notification for the newest unboxed, I have thought to give it a try and watch it and there I saw you boxing together with Jon. Especially because the two of us would have been able to already do so together over the last season, warming up together.”
Lando could hear the disappointment out of his friend’s words and he probably also felt betrayed, because the younger one was exactly aware about that big wish of the Spaniard. A wish he had wanted to make come true, but not like that at all.
“Charlie must have edited the video, because I have told Henrik to not use those scenes. I.. I have even actually already started with it by the end of last season, but I first wanted to get good or at least better in it, before I will tell you, so I won’t make myself a complete fool out of it. That’s why I have also always refused, because I know how good you are and I didn’t want to look all stupid once again, which I have still managed anyway to do so now.”
Lando finally told his friend the truth all insecure, while he fidgeted with the sleeve of his hoodie and he could also feel his cheeks getting blushed. “Oh, cabrón. Stop looking that way, it wasn’t my intention to scold you. I was just a little hurt and maybe also jealous, because I have thought you were doing that on purpose and you have actually never wanted to box with me together.”
“That’s actually why I have even started doing it, because I have wanted to box with you together as well, but only when I would have been good enough for it, so you won’t laugh at me.” Lando told his friend with a small voice, trying to avoid his eyes, before his lips formed a small pout.
“Oh, no. Please, stop pouting, cabrón. I feel so bad now, please. It’s okay, I forgive you, but I would have never laughed at you or would have made fun about you during your first boxing lessons. Do you really think I was already a pro, when I have started doing it back then? Definitely not, ask Rupert. So please, stop being sad, cabrón. I’m sorry for the harsh way I have spoken to you before, I really haven't meant it like that at all.”
Lando knew, that Carlos really hadn't meant any harm, he could actually even understand him. He would have probably reacted the same way, if he had found out about that the Spaniard did play COD on his PC without ever telling him so, after he had pleaded him to give it a try, so they could play together and so spend also more time together, already so many times.
“It’s alright. I should have already told you so a while ago. Jon says I’m not doing that bad, but maybe he only says so because I’m a loser. I don’t know.” Unsure Lando shrugged his shoulders, because he had actually only wanted to make his friend happy with learning how to box and one day he would have showed him his skills and Carlos would have been all happy and thrilled about it. At least he was dreaming about that scenario at night.
“I bet you are doing well, cabrón. At least from what I have seen in the video, you are making a decent job.” Carlos motivated him like already so many times, before they began to talk for the next twenty minutes about how it had all started, his training and progress, before the Spaniard told him about how everything had started by him years ago.
Lando had already completely forgotten about that he had actually wanted to watch his show, when Carlos’ expression suddenly changed abruptly and he looked with widened eyes and a big smile at him, before he suggested “What do you think about me coming over to the UK to go boxing with you together tomorrow? Please, say yes. I’m so bored here in Italy and I only have to back to the factory on Thursday anyway.”
Lando just couldn’t say no to those puppy eyes Carlos was showing him, also when he first hesitated, because talking about it was one thing, but really showing the older one what he was already able to do another one. “Alright. But you should better get prepared for getting your ass beaten, Sainzy.”
Carlos’ plane did land in the late morning in London. Lando picked him up from the airport, before the two friends went for lunch and did a little shopping tour together. Latest when they were on their way to Lando’s favourite gym, he became quieter than usual, maybe also a little afraid about that Carlos could still make fun of him in his boxing gloves, looking still so out of place.
And even though he knew, that the Spaniard had noticed his discomfort, he still pretended like he hadn’t got the change in his mood at all. In general, Lando didn’t like to go to train with Carlos together, because compared to his ex-teammates well-trained and well-proportioned manly body, his own body still looked like one of a teenager’s, who was still waiting for his growth spurt.
And at the same time, it made him feel pretty hot and his heart began to race, every time he watched those muscles of his friend flinch, to see his sun-kissed skin and asking himself, how the rest of him had to look like. He just always got too distracted, when they went to the gym together.
Carlos was once again one of the best friends Lando ever had, when he didn’t note anything about his slim figure or when he pulled on his white boxing gloves. He kept a straight face and kept professional, while the young Brit was shaking from nervousness, because he really didn’t want to look like a fool, even when the two of them were all alone in this part of the gym.
But all his worries and fears were for nothing, because Carlos didn’t laugh at him for just one time, the totally contrary even. He tried to motive him, with telling him how well he did and how surprised he was about his skills already now. After the first few minutes boxing, Lando put his nervousness finally aside and just had fun.
He was happy about spending time together with Carlos, which was so rare with not being in the same team any more. He just tried to enjoy every second of it, enjoying his friend’s present, while he caused him to smile constantly like always.
When it was Carlos turn, he showed the younger one some of his own skills, what he could make better or what had helped him back then when he had started. By now Lando didn’t even know any more why he had been so worried before.
Carlos would have never laughed at him or would have made fun of him, never. For that he was too kind in protecting and the older one was also aware about that his ex-teammate needed to hear something like that to improve. Some nice encouraging words to develop.
Like already so many times before, Lando had got lost while watching those strong arms hitting him as hard as they could, taking in those firm muscles flinch by the contact, while he eyed his focused, sweaty face all closely, and the younger one finally got unfocused for one brief moment, where Carlos almost hit him by his shoulder.
Lando jumped in shock, which caused the Spaniard to not hit his target and he began to sway forward. Carlos really tried to get his balance back, but it was already too late, when he fell forward right into Lando’s arms and because the young Brit wasn’t strong enough to steady his friend and so save them both, they fell together and landed on the ground.
At least the older one somehow still managed to catch himself and avoided falling with his full body weight onto his friend underneath him. With his hands on each side of Lando’s head, he supported himself, while he looked down at him with sweat pearls on his forehead and still breathing rapidly through his mouth.
After the shock, the two friends began to smile at each other and also giggled about the situation they were in, before Lando told the older one all cheekily “This right here looks actually familiar to me.”
He meant the last time Carlos was pining him onto the floor, back in Japan at the bowling alley. It still made his heart race, while he thought back to it. How close they had been that evening, how much his body had reacted to the contact with being literally underneath him and feeling his body weight on top of him.
But his heart was racing even more now, with being even closer to each other than back then. Lando could feel his breath against his own sweaty skin, this time half of Carlos’ body was indeed laying on top of him, even their middles pressed against each other and the younger one could feel how hot he began to feel suddenly. The centre of the heat inside his body was definitely his middle, but still his cheeks blushed like they were on fire as well.
“Yeah, to me as well, cabrón. But this one right here is new.” Carlos breathed while he already leaned even closer down to his face and before Lando could even realize what beautiful things were going on here, he could already feel the Spaniard’s full lips against his own, pinning him now the whole way down onto the floor. And Lando just let him.
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r6shippingdelivery · 3 years
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headcannons for hobbies? Like what they do on their off time?
Hi nonnie! I actually did a Hobbies HC for “all” ops a long time ago. But seeing that was before the expanded bios, and it only reached up to Gridlock and Mozzie, I’d say it’s time for an updated version, don’t you say? 
Some of the answers are unchanged from the old post, because I already nailed it or the new info didn’t disprove my ideas. But I had to revise a lot of the answers I gave the first time around! In order to find their hobbies and/or get a glimpse of their lives beyond Rainbow and what they might like, I read all the bios, and looked up concept art, and elites, and past battlepass content, etc. And when none of that was enough, I just went with my gut instinct 😂 Thank you to @grain-crain-drain, @dagoth-menthol & @todragonsart for bouncing ideas with me when I was stuck! 💕
Hobbies Headcanons for ALL ops (up to Neon Dawn)
FBI
- Ash: According to her savta, shooting things is not a hobby, but Ash disagrees. And since according to her expanded bio she knows Hebrew, Arabic, English, French and Greek, I’m willing to bet she enjoys learning languages as well. - Thermite: He grew up on a ranch and loves riding. He’s also taken an interest in improving gadgets it seems, so my old proposal that he dabbles in forging/smithing stuff seems plausible. And based on this concept art, demolition derbies attending and maybe even competing himself too? - Pulse: He’s interested in a variety of topics and goes through phases of intense, nearly obsessive focus, until something else captures his attention. He still has a lingering fondness for building muscle cars, since it was something he used to do with his father. And like Thermite and Hibana, it seems he might enjoy demolition derbies. - Castle: He’s a language nerd, studying/reading/practicing new languages is his hobby for sure. Since the expanded bio says he rescues abused dogs, I don’t think it would be far fetched he volunteered at animal shelters too.
SAS
- Thatcher: Aside from repairing his boat, The Iron Maggie, he also enjoys fishing. He used to do that with his dad & brothers, and tried to take the rest of the SAS fishing as a bonding experience. It didn’t go very well - Sledge: He plays rugby, and has an inexplicable fondness of trying the wildest ideas that tend to end with something broken, be it one of his bones or a structure or wall (just read his extended psychological profile and you’ll see, lmao) - Smoke: Boxing, it helps him focus all his chaotic energy. And chemistry in general, it’s not just a hobby but a passion of his. - Mute: he enjoys tinkering with stuff, taking it apart and then putting it back together in a different way, just to see if he can improve it or make it work in his own way. Flying drones plays perfectly into that, with the added bonus of being able to do the flying part just for fun too.
GIGN
- Montagne: His main passion is working with people, teaching and mentoring others, and therefore when he’s not on duty, his main passtime still is mingling with people and getting to know them. I could see him making overtures with Castle, interested in the American and fascinated by his knowledge of various languages, an area Monty feels insecure about due to only knowing French and English.  - Twitch: Engineering, robotics and developing an empathic AI is her life.Twitch is a workaholic passionate about those topics. She also greatly enjoys traveling and, according to her expanded bio, people watching.  - Doc: He surely had some hobby at one point, but he can’t remember it, or the last time he had free time for it. Doc is also a workaholic, although one that loves to complain about it.  - Rook: Apparently he’s passionate about cycling, auto racing, and rock concerts. Mainly cycling though, since he dropped out of university to cycle around France.
Spetsnaz
- Tachanka: He collects and repairs old weapons. Mostly soviet, but he has some interesting pieces from other countries too. And he dances surprisingly well.  - Kapkan: Aside from a certain interest in psychology, his main hobby is hunting, of course. But he also whittles and carves wooden figurines.  - Glaz: Quite obviously, painting. He’s an artist, and quite a good one. He also likes playing cards, especially poker. - Fuze: He builds new weapon prototypes for fun. And tests them, if he can convince Six of it. He also likes to bake from time to time, a skill he learnt thanks to his grandma - and because he has a sweet tooth.
GSG9
- Jäger: Planes. Model planes, repairing old WWI & II planes, you name it. And watching copious amounts of documentaries.  - Bandit: His bike is his main hobby, both taking care of it and riding it. He also likes playing pool; and, if pranking people counts as a hobby, that’s his oldest one, dating from when he was a kid. - Blitz: He was and still is an athlete at heart, and Blitz loves running. - IQ: In order to disconnect from engineering pursuits, she indulges in rock climbing, spelunking, and writing science fiction stories.
JTF2
- Buck: He crafts mechanical puzzles, and enjoys all kinds of physical activity that can take place outdoors. - Frost: She just loves being surrounded by nature, and often goes mountain climbing or diving.
SEAL
- Valkyrie: Swimming and diving, of course! She wanted to be a professional swimmer, but now it’s just a hobby. And apparently she enrolled for a helicopter pilot license, and language classes. - Blackbeard: According to the expanded bios, he likes sailing and even participated in a championship. And since he climbed Mount Everest, it’s safe to say he also likes mountain climbing.
BOPE
- Capitao: He loves football, playing or watching it, doesn’t matter, he’s all for it. - Caveira: Spends a lot of time practicing Jiu Jitsu, in the gym and also on unofficial tournaments.
SAT
- Hibana: For her it’s traditional Japanese archery (Kyūdō). And probably demolition derbies too accounting that concept art from before with Thermite and Pulse. - Echo: According to the expanded bio, he has few interests outside work, but I always imagined he’d be into gaming and e-sports. Hacking too, and that’s a direct influence from Dokkaebi.
GEO
- Jackal: He plays the acoustic guitar/spanish guitar, and sings too. And now we also know he volunteers with at-risk youth. - Mira: Fixing cars is second nature to her, and thanks to her expanded bio we know she also does metal sculptures that incorporate used mechanical parts.
SDU
- Ying: Extreme driving, which can sometimes trigger her PTSD, and traveling. Especially exploring cities by randomly jumping in public transport and just going anywhere. - Lesion: He is also one to volunteer in underprivileged areas (like Junk Bay, where he grew up), and clearing mines and other unexploded devices. I also imagine him with a certain gusto for playing blackjack.
GROM
- Zofia: If obsessing about her father’s supposed suicide and the oddities surrounding it, and desperately trying to reconnect with her sister count as hobbies, sure, she has those. - Ela: She’s also an artist, one with a very particular vision that some have called narcissistic. Apparently she also does some “freelance” volunteer work, roaming the streets at night and offering help/comfort, or a willing ear to the people she meets.
707SMB
- Vigil: He likes to take walks around the forest, just aimless exploring and marvelling at nature and any animals he might come across. Often listens to relaxing music while doing so, and he might pick a pretty rock here and there to bring home. - Dokkaebi: Hacking is her hobby, of course. She also has several social media profiles and is an active member in a couple of hacking forums. As per a previous battlepass, I believe she enjoys mountain trekking too. And dancing to electro beat, due to her elite.
CBRN
- Lion: His rebel years left him with an appreciation for rock music and a dream to be in a group. Lion still plays the electric guitar, when he’s not off volunteering at the local church. - Finka: Pushed by her parents from a young age to try different sports, just like her siblings, she eventually discovered a strong love for fencing and ice-skating.
GIS
- Maestro: Cooking, and boxing, an interest he shares with Smoke. But mostly cooking. - Alibi: She’s also a marksman, engages Ash in friendly shooting competitions.
GSUTR
- Clash: She’s very involved in different activist causes, mostly surrounding racial issues and inequality. - Maverick: Photography, mostly nature or candid shots of his fellow operators. I also think he likes horses and riding. And Buzkashi of course, but he hasn’t played since he left Kabul.
GIGR
- Kaid: Playing chess, he’s a good strategist and it shows. And  while dozing off with a cat on his lap is not a hobby, he also loves that. - Nomad: Traveling to all sorts of remote locations, she’s an explorer with a thirst to prove herself. She also keeps a travel journal, which includes maps and some drawings of the places she’s seen.
SASR
- Mozzie: Dirt biking, of course. The more dangerous the jumps and stunts are, the more he likes it. He knows his limits and works to surpass them. - Gridlock: Robotics. She still wants to compete again in robot championships, just like she and Mozzie did so many years ago. She would consider that fixing cars and vehicles has become more part of her job than a hobby, but still loves it too.
Phantom Sight
- Nokk: Fencing, as evidenced by some of her concept art, she participated in fencing tournaments. - Warden: He knows appearances are important, and he cultivated a very specific image, so he likes to take care of that, be it by buying luxury or antique cars, or designer suits, etc.
Ember Rise
- Amaru: Archeology and exploring the Amazon jungle is her passion. It used to be her whole life and job, but since she joined Rainbow, she’s been busy with training and missions, yet she never lost her love for adventure, history and protecting her country’s cultural artifacts. - Goyo: He’s a really good chess player, and enjoys other games where he either has to think, or his usual poker face and calm demeanor can throw his opponents off.
Shifting Tides
- Kali: When she’s not writing reports about her underlings progress, or making lists about who should be ascended/rewarded, who needs to be punished or chastised, etc, she’ll be doing yoga, since it helps her focus. Or hardcore pilates when she needs to burn away some frustration first. - Wamai: Diving and being underwater in general, be it on his special immersion tanks or on the actual sea, it doesn’t matter. He finds it calming (and he’s addicted to the anoxia sensation)
Void Edge
- Iana: Space exploration fascinates her, and she’s always trying to learn everything she can about the cosmos, watching documentaries and conducting her own in-depth research. - Oryx: Wrestling helps him hone his physical prowess, and it’s also a measured outlet for his deep seated rage. He also greatly enjoys reading poetry.
Steel Wave
- Melusi: She’s committed to the conservation cause, which stems from both her love of wildlife and nature, and her protective instincts. She likes to explore too, although she’s not driven by a will to prove herself or reach certain goals, but simply for the joy of seeing natural spaces. - Ace: Social Media. He’s obsessed with his public image and popularity. While he travels quite a bit, it seems he does it more to share new and exciting selfies on Instagram than for the pleasure of visiting new places.
Shadow Legacy
- Zero: He knits and crochets, it’s an engaging hobby that helps him clear his mind, plus he enjoys making stuff too. Not many people know about this side of him though. 
Neon Dawn
- Aruni: She and Hero, her giant pouched rat, volunteer on landmine detection and removal efforts. She also likes to travel extensively, and has done so in the company of Twitch and Nomad.
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