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#we ended up with neons tho still sorry
delicourse · 10 months
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lesbian pride moment 😳🌸
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gyuswhore · 6 months
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Hits Different (...'cause it's you) (2)
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«« I trace the evidence, make it make some sense Why the wound is still bleedin' »»
PAIRING: kim mingyu x reader
SYNOPSIS: Kim Mingyu was the first friend your brother had brought home for dinner. Fast forward a couple years, his toothy smile and pierced ears would wedge their way into a permanent place in your heart. Nail to a coffin, never to escape.
or;
in which you get rejected by the only boy you've ever loved; a rejection you can't quite shake off.
GENRES: based off of 'Hits Different' by Taylor Swift, brother's best friend!au, brother!seokmin, fluff, angst, smut (in part 2) [MINORS DNI], friends(?) to lovers, university!au.
PLAYLIST: right here!
WORD COUNT (full fic): 40k (im actually embarrassed)
Part 1: 20.2k | Part 2: 20k
masterlist
WARNINGS : slowburn, angst, fluff, mingyus a bit of an airhead and an ass, reader has a hard time managing her feelings, lots of frustrated tears, one sided pining, user toruro x minghao make an appearance, swearing, there's another woman (gasp,,,,,but shes cool so), Nayeon is a darling, Seungcheol is kinda annoying here but we love him, smut, making out, breast play, fingering (f. receiving), p in v sex (protected + unprotected), oral (f. receiving) uhhhh i think that's it lmk tho
[A/N]: Part 2 !! shit goes down in this one so be prepared ig lmao. thank you for the love on part 1, i hope you enjoy the finale too hehe
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For the third time this week, you wish you could squeeze your brother’s brains with your own two hands and watch it explode like a grape without legal repercussions. Or parental ones. 
You slam your phone down on the counter after you end your conversation with him, frustrated as you watch the empty shelf where you left your dinner for today in the fridge last night, and the other green box that was actually your brothers. Refusing to eat the dry PB&J he usually packs for himself, you slam the fridge door shut, trudging out the door to leave for work, thoroughly annoyed at the prospect of needing to eat out. 
It’s gone forgotten for most of the day, that is until the clock hits eight and you feel your stomach grumble, immediately putting you in a sour mood as you remember you couldn’t enjoy your pasta because your brother was enjoying your pasta. You only had another hour left, supposing you could wait till you get home to make dinner yourself, not feeling the burger joint across the street in the slightest. Eating a moonpie to satiate yourself for the time being, you go back to stocking the shelves for the new LP shipment, making a vague mental note to ask Mingyu if Jia liked the gift he picked out a couple weeks ago. 
Your opportunity arises almost automatically as you walk over to greet whoever came in, abandoning the opened box of bubble wrapped LPs as you hear the bell chime softly at the front of the store.  
Mingyu was here (again), hands occupied with a bag, looking relieved to find you emerging from the shelves. 
“Oh, you’re here. I was afraid you left already,” he says, smiling slightly. 
“Would’ve been closed if I did.” You nudge your head towards the clearly unlocked door, donning the neon open sign. 
He looks a little dumb, turning to look at the door. “Oh. Right.”
You can’t help but smile a little. “Caught me at a good time though, I was just about to start wrapping up here.” 
He suddenly looks like he’s reminded of what he’s come here for, placing the bag on the desk next to him. “Seok told me to drop this off for you, he said it’s food.” 
Snorting, you take a look at the inside to find takeout from your favourite pasta place, which also happens to be your most expensive favourite pasta place. Seokmin felt bad enough to spend extra dollars on your dinner tonight, you guessed you could forgive him. 
You sigh as you speak. “And you strike as his errand boy yet again, sorry he’s been making you do all this.” 
“Did he piss you off?” Mingyu asks.
“Hm? He’s been pissing me off all week, this is him trying to get on my good side before I spit in his coffee.” 
He laughs at that, a toothy smile that has your stomach lurching. The flashback was brief but vivid all the same, his grin triggering a long forgotten memory. You could almost see the black studs in his ears again, his bangs falling in chunks on his forehead, his face turning into the boyish sixteen year old recollection on your kitchen counter, drinking cans of Monster and helping you lie to your mom. 
“Explains why he was ready to drop that much on a bowl of pasta.” 
“Hey, it’s good.” 
“I don’t doubt it.” He grins, “I’m gonna leave your pasta in your loving embrace, I have to feed my car now. Been putting it off till payday.”
“Oh, right. Thanks for dropping this off though, appreciate it.” You offer him a tight lipped smile. One that he returns, canines almost glinting in the light (but that’s just you). 
“No worries, I’ll see ya around.” You don’t remember what you were meant to ask him until he’s long jingled the glass door shut, walking to his parked car. You supposed it could wait, Jia would’ve liked anything he got her. You could ask him later, not wanting to have him turn around to answer the obvious question. 
The opportunity does not arise as easily as it did this time, a couple weeks passing in relative uneventful indifference, slow days at the store and nights in seven days a week. You were starting to wish you’d taken summer classes while you were stuck here anyway, the mundane days pushing you to believe you’d rather be busy than inexplicably bored. It’s not until your brother has a near mental breakdown from only having a sister as his main recreational contact that there’s a change. 
Mingyu sits on your couches in the dark, useless blanket thrown over his torso as both of his sock clad feet hang out in the air. To be fair, nobody’s looking at anybody as the eyes remain on yet another unnecessary explosion on the screen. You vaguely wonder how the ship hasn’t sunk yet. 
“What the fuck do you mean he’s been alive this whole time?” Seokmin utters, voice thick with the entire stick of butter he stuck into his bowl of popcorn. 
“Who funded this?” Mingyu mumbles from the other end, a deep frown etched on his face. 
“The people who funded the other three monstrosities.” You roll your eyes, inching your way into a sitting position, the ache making its way into the crick of your neck. 
“There’s more?!” The prospect had Mingyu hurtling into a sitting position, but not without his own set of winces as he feels the bones cracking and muscles aching. His hair is a mess, his hoodie nearly backwards, and you can’t help but laugh at the mildly confused and bewildered expression he has on. 
“Yeah, you wanna watch those too?” you ask through giggles.
Glancing at the final pub scene that’s playing on the TV, he's quick to mumble, “Fuck, no.” 
“I haven’t watched a real shitty movie in a while.” Seokmin groans as it’s his turn to stretch. “This was fun. Hollywood’s back.” 
Both you and Mingyu pointedly ignore his statement, your own mind debating whether you wanted to watch another movie. It’s not until you look up to see Mingyu doing something on his phone that you remember what you wanted to ask him. 
“Hey, Mingyu, did — Seokmin!” Your brother’s decided to begin his aerial stretches, touching his toes and cracking his back. You shift your head wildly to get a gap through his restless movements, eventually giving up finding Mingyu. He could hear you. “Did you – ugh – did you get to give Jia her present?” 
You aren’t sure what it is, but the way the question has Seok landing on his heels mid tip toe stretch and how Mingyu’s eyebrows shoot up, you don’t doubt you’ve touched on something sensitive. There’s a part of you that wonders if it’s too late to take it back when both boys make eye contact with each other, but your brother beats you to it. 
“I, uh…forgot to tell her,” he lowtones. 
You look to your brother and then to Mingyu. 
“We broke up.”
Oh.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” Mingyu smiles a little awkwardly, and Seok makes a strangled sound that may have been a laugh of his own. Or a cough, you aren’t too sure. “But…she did like the present, when I gave it to her anyway.”
“Oh, that’s…that’s good,” you manage, not knowing what to say. “Sorry that happened though…sucks.” 
“She ended it–” that has your own brows shooting up in disbelief. Kim Mingyu got dumped? “–over the phone, she decided she wanted to stay home for a while to figure out what she wanted to do. Uni wasn’t cutting it for her here…” 
“I mean, good for her, I guess. Hope you’re doing okay, though.”
He blows air out of his cheeks, scratching his neck. “I mean, we’re fine. Ended it on good terms.” 
Seokmin’s still standing awkwardly staring at the still running ending credits for something to do. “Should we get food?” 
“I don’t know, are you hungry?” Mingyu asks.
“How is the heartburn not getting to you yet? You basically emptied the country’s dairy reserves in a single popcorn serving,” you grumble. 
“Don’t underestimate my ingestional abilities,” he retorts.
Mingyu stares for a moment. “Aren’t you lactose intoletrant or something?”
Seokmin turns to him, mouth open as he points his finger, “You know, I might be.” 
“No you aren’t, if you were lactose intolerant then I’d be lactose intolerant,” you shoot. 
“Explain the empty can of air freshener in the bathroom after queso and chips?” 
“Have you considered during queso and chips that queso is a dip and not an optional beverage?” 
Mingyu’s cutting between you two before you can go on with your bickering, afraid he’d have to physically peel you off of each other if it goes on, “Let’s just go to a drive thru, you can get your lactose or…non lactose options however you like.” 
That’s how you’re shoved into the backseat of Mingyu’s car, Seokmin fiddling with the GPS to find the nearest McDonalds. 
“How do you not know where the nearest McDonald’s is, you live here,” Mingyu hisses as he takes his fourth right turn in a row.
“We always just order in, who sits in a car and goes to McDonalds.”
“Us apparently,” you lowtone to Mingyu from the back, picking at a crusty flower that you found in between the seats. They ignore you. 
“Okay, I think it’s this one. Dude, get a new GPS, this one responds after fifty years, of course it’s gonna take this long.” 
Their own bickering is starting to zone out into a buzz in your ears as you stare at a patch of leather behind Mingyu’s seat. You vaguely considered that you’re falling asleep. 
The streetlight has other plans, however, when you sense something glinting in the sudden light underneath the seat. Your interest is piqued, moving forward to see what it was. Mingyu senses you shifting and asks you what you’re doing. 
You don’t answer him as you shuffle around to catch sight of it again. And then you see it, a tiny necklace on the slightly dirty mat, a circle charm with a single ‘J’ in the center. You aren’t sure why you froze at the sight, the gold glinting prettily even in the dark. Leaving it there, you emerge from under the seat, trying to seem nonchalant. 
“Nothing. Thought I saw something.”
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Mingyu’s common occurrence in the bookstore is starting to concern you, never catching him as the type to read something other than the occasional bad riddles on the back of a cereal box. You stand corrected however, as you find yourself trying to find a hardcover for him on the computer system, mumbling incoherently.
“Never knew you read.” 
“Well, now you do. This one’s really good though, you should read it too.” He notes, motioning towards the paperback version he brought with him for the book he’s finding. 
You snort at his suggestion. “Have you realised this is one of the most popular books in its genre right now? Hard to find someone who hasn’t read it.”
He frowns at the revelation, “Oh. None of my friends read it.”
Seokmin hasn’t opened a book for recreational purposes since he was twelve. As for his other friends…they didn’t exactly seem like the smart type either. You get up to move to the shelf the computer’s indicated, trying to walk off your annoyance at a particular memory before it begins to show. Mingyu follows you in your pursuit to find his book, skimming the shelves himself as he strolled behind you. 
“Oh, right, how’s that exhibition thing going? Forgot to ask about it,” you ask as you spot the box of the hardcovers at the top of the shelf. You grab the ladder that rests near the wall as he answers.
“It’s going pretty good, nearly done. I just need to send the final pieces over – what’re you doing?” 
You grunt as you begin to climb up the metal ladder, trying to get to the box. “Getting your book, genius.”
“Wait–” He moves to grab the ladder at the base as he watches you step higher. “Get down! I’ll go up instead.” 
“You get cold feet at the bottom of an escalator, be serious, Mingyu,” you grunt as you pull the box towards yourself, the ladder shaking with the force it takes, and it has Mingyu gripping the metal tighter. You pull the familiar cover out before closing the box back up. “There.”
“Why would you keep supposed bestsellers there, isn’t this like, in demand?” He grumbles as he continues to hold the ladder as you climb back down. 
“Ran out. Need to restock them at the front, but I’ll do that tomorrow.” You huff as you jump the last step, earning a loud yelp from Mingyu. 
“Chill out,” you chuckle as he puts the ladder away. “Okay, do you want me to look at anything else for you?”
“What would you recommend for my next imaginary adventure?” he asks as he picks out a random book from the shelf, trying to find the blurb. 
“Not that one.” You scrunch your nose at the sight.
“This one I know is popular. What’s wrong with it?” He chuckles as he puts it back.
“Don’t believe everything you see on the internet,” you call out as you walk back to the front.
“And believe you instead?” 
Oh, you wish.
Picking up your current read from the front of the store, you wait for him to reach the end of the opening where you stand to hand it to him. 
“You can decide that for yourself. Haven’t finished it yet, but it looks super promising. Try it out if you want.” 
He barely looks over the glistening title before handing it back to you, and you nearly assume he didn’t want it. 
“Ring both of them up,” he says, and then with a pause he continues, “And anything else you think is good too, I don’t really care.” 
Deciding you’d test the waters with this first recommendation, you only cash him in for two. He doesn’t question it as you do your job behind the desk, making casual conversation as he waits for you to find the right barcode. 
“How far are you with that one?” 
“The one I gave you? Just touched chapter 20, I think.” 
He only hums in response as he pays, grabbing the bag that you push towards him. 
“Let me know how you like it,” you comment before he begins to turn to leave. 
“‘Course.” He grins, and you can't help but grin right back. He leaves you in the store with a slight heat coming up to your cheeks, and a wad of gum in your mouth to keep your stomach in check. 
By the time the next day rolls around, it’s been nearly 24 hours before you hear from him again, his contact seemingly only ever gracing you within the walls of the bookstore – except he isn’t physically here. Mingyu texts you, and you nearly fall out of your chair at the sight of his name on your phone. 
It’s near embarrassing how quickly you pick up your phone, passcode going wrong once, twice, thrice…you decide it’s the top five worst times your phone’s refused face ID. You’re slamming your fingers onto the screen harder than you should, watching the warp in the pixels at the pressure. By the time it does open its secrets for you, the annoyance has settled. Not at him though. 
[Mingyu]: hey [Mingyu]: i got to chap 20  [You]: what [You]: how [Mingyu]: started reading when i got home [Mingyu]: and then i got to 20 [Mingyu]: i think i pulled an all nighter [You]: you think? [You]: was it that good [Mingyu]: couldnt put it down [Mingyu]: i wanna talk about it but my eyes are closing  [You]: you know where to find me when you wake up
The typing ellipses don’t pop up after that, and you assume for the better that he’s succumbed to his afternoon drowsiness. If he was serious about that all nighter (which you don’t doubt, no way he could’ve plowed through twenty chapters and gotten any sleep), you assume he’ll be knocked out for at least the rest of the afternoon. 
Smiling to yourself at the thought of him wanting to text you about your matching achievements (and actively pushing your mind away from the blessed image of a napping Mingyu), you find yourself scrolling up the conversation, trying to remember the last time Mingyu had texted. That was easy to find out as the short scroll past the sparing details from your photography adventures landed you straight into late last year, a sparse conversation regarding your brother’s whereabouts when he wouldn’t answer his phone. 
You remembered the conversation. As mundane and ordinary as it was, it was difficult to forget the way your hands were shaking as you typed your one word replies, how your breathing was coming out uneven at a mere text back. You could argue there was less of that this time round, proud of yourself for learning to control your emotions better. 
There’s a train of thought that leads you to every recent interaction you’ve had with him. The conversations where you could look him in the eye, your relative indifference when he would show up unannounced, the disappearance of the wad of emotions in your stomach at the mere mention of his name. 
The latter may be slightly untrue, but you can't help but note how the ounces of fear within the concoction is gone. You were never quite sure what it was that you were so afraid of, perhaps the fateful night at Seungcheol’s party had answered that question for you, but still. 
“Seok’s not the type to beat me up if I dated his sister. And besides…” He sighs, halting his words.
“Besides what?” Somebody chimes in.
“I’m not interested in going after someone who’s chased my tail for the past fifteen years.”
Despite telling yourself it was the alcohol talking, maybe even a couple puffs of whatever — the mild disappointment remains. Thinking about the weeks following that, the moping and the hurt, you almost don’t blame Mika for acting the way that she did. 
Your brother had always been oblivious to all the frolicking in your heart that would ignite as Mingyu would enter the room, and for over a decade at that. And yet, it was during those weeks that he had noticed you acting like you had been dumped, asking you what on earth was wrong with you. 
“Did somebody say something to you?” he asks.
“Huh?” you frown, annoyed at the way he's planted himself directly in front of the cabinet that held your beloved moonpies. 
“You’re acting like you’ve been rejected by the love of your life. Nayeon’s not telling me anything and you’re being avoidant, what is up with you?” He huffs, hands on his hips. 
Oh, if only he knew how right he was. But you weren’t upset because the love of your life rejected you (anymore, at least), you were upset because he was a public asshole. 
It takes more coaxing from him to get you to start talking. It’s easier when he brings out the big guns: “D’you want me to tell mom?”
You tell him a little, not naming any names, much to his dismay. “Some guy was an ass, something about me being too easy or whatever.” 
“You’re upset because some drunk dude decided to run his mouth?” He scrunches his nose at the thought. “Ignore him, he’s stupid.”
“Thanks for the help, I’m cured,” you deadpan, pushing him aside to get to the gold inside the cabinets. 
“I could get Mingyu to help me beat him up, I just need a name.”
Oh. You briefly wonder how he'd feel if he had to beat up his best friend.
More than his attempts to sound like a cool older brother, the image of Mingyu beating himself up brings you more amusement than anything else. You crack a smile at the thought. 
That was months ago, yet you can’t seem to forget the hurt. Trying to shake off where your thoughts were taking you, you get up to take a walk around the store for something to do, fixing microscopic displacements on the shelves and wondering if you should restock something, only to realize you’d already done that when you came in, not wanting to whip out the ladder again to restock the ones you'd just landed from.  
Landing inevitably back behind the counter, you instinctively reach for the book wedged beside the computer. Your outstretched hand stops midway, thinking about how Mingyu’s reached as far as you in the story quite literally overnight. Retracting your hand, you decide you’d wait. 
The bell chimes signaling a customer, and you find yourself grateful for the distraction.
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It’s nearing 8:30 when you decide you should close early. It was slower than usual today, the few walk-ins leaving without purchases too hefty, rendering you bored in your seat for most of the day. You’re locking the drawers of the main desk when Mingyu walks in with the familiar tune of the bell chiming, soft smile as he greets you quietly. 
“How was your nap?” you ask, trying not to giggle at his still dazed expression. 
“Pretty good, didn’t wanna wake up though.” His voice remains relatively coarse, and you don’t miss the light indent on his left cheek. It’s endearing, enough to have you wishing you could cup his face in a loving squish. 
But you don’t. 
“You don’t say,” you comment. Pointing at your own cheek as you continue, “You sure you don’t wanna take the night off too?” 
“Fuck,” he whispers as he looks down to fumble for his phone to see for himself in his front camera. The puffiness hasn’t gone away entirely, evident when he’s frowning and looking downwards, and the urge to squeeze comes hurtling back. 
“Did you drive like this?” 
“Uh, no, I walked.”
“Walked?” You try to comprehend if that was even more dangerous. He only nods. “Why?”
“Wanted to see you.”
It takes effort to not clutch your chest at the way your heart leaps. Kim Mingyu, you bastard. 
“Had to talk about the book.”
Your voice comes out a little more breathless than you’d like, but you hope his drowsiness skips over it. “You could’ve texted.”
He pauses as he mulls it over. “I mean, yeah…I don’t know. I just put my shoes on and came here.”
You decide you’d spare him the brain power and continue your remaining closing duties, talking to him as you move around the store. 
“We can take my car to my place, better than getting distracted here.”
He only nods in response. “Do you want any help?” 
“Nope, just need to turn off the lights and lock the doors. Let me grab my bag.” 
By the time you’re home, an XL pizza and drinks in your arms to satiate Mingyu’s post nap ravenous tendencies, you drop down on the couch with a huff. Seokmin hears the ruckus and appears from his room, not wasting time to break on the pizza with Mingyu as you leave to freshen up. By the time you settle with your own slice it seems as though Mingyu has roused himself significantly more than before. 
“Okay,” you huff as you land on the soft cushioning, “What did you think about the book?”
“Hard to believe this is her first book, it’s really good.” 
“Her world building is amazing, some of the best I’ve read.”
Your back and forth discussion grows increasingly passionate, forgetting the fact that your brother was also right there excluded from the conversation. His head shifts back and forth as the both of you converse, utterly lost. It would’ve been funny, except neither if you were actually looking at him. 
He manages to get a word in as one of you pauses for breath. “Since when do you read?” 
Mingyu gapes at the question, seemingly trying to find an answer. “Recently.”
“Why?” 
“What do you mean why? I just wanted to start reading,” he scoffs in a manner that could be described as exaggerated. If he’s trying to throw Seokmin off his scent, he’s succeeded, as he watches Seokmin get up and announce that he has work to do. That leaves the both of you alone. 
The conversation takes you into the late hours of the night, Mingyu’s prior nap releasing him from the chains of reasonable sleeping hours as he remains wide awake despite the 3 AM time on the dial. You manage to keep up with him, even when he follows you to the kitchen to brew a coffee. 
“Do you usually work this hard just to make coffee?” he asks as he watches you discard the used espresso puck. 
“We have a bottle of the instant stuff here somewhere for when I’m lazy,” you explain as you pour the fresh shots into the prepped ice and milk. “Doesn’t taste the same though.” 
“Coffee is coffee,” he says as he stirs the drink you push towards him. 
“Quite the contrary. Besides, the instant stuff fucks with my stomach, I’d rather not.” You take a sip of your coffee, glancing at the sink. “Will say, hate everything I have to wash afterwards.”
“I’ll do ‘em later, gotta pay you back for all the manual labour that went into this thing,” he refers to the latte he’s sipping on currently. 
“The appreciation is enough. We can make Seok do them in the morning for being a loser and going to bed early,” you snort. Mingyu laughs at that, the image of Seokmin doing dishes while the both of you sleep in. 
“You sure you don’t wanna call it a night?” he asks you as you place yourself on the kitchen counter. 
“I’m having fun, Mingyu, seriously. I’m off tomorrow too, I don’t have to wake up,” you reassure for the nth time. 
He doesn’t reply, only stares up at you from his leaned position. He’s chewing on his lip, and you find yourself unconsciously chewing at your own, the already raw skin stinging at the abrasion. Mingyu’s hands come up to your face slowly, like he knew it was hurting as he pulls your bottom lip to release it with his thumb. 
“You’re gonna bleed,” he whispers. His hand that grasps your chin doesn’t move, rough thumb continuing to graze at your lip lightly. 
“You never stopped picking at your lips, did you?” he wonders out loud, eyes trained on your mouth. 
Your own hand comes to lightly grip at his forearm. He remembers your habit, picking at the skin of your lips since near middle school, getting yelled at when you had to excuse yourself from the dinner table when they would bleed. 
“Old habits die hard.” Your voice is thick despite the gulp you had to take before opening your mouth. 
It was true, probably too much as you continue to look at his near perfect face. The oldest habit, the hardest to die. 
Mingyu drops his hand, landing it in your lap, your own hand still gripping his forearm. You aren’t sure what’s going through you as you trail your hand up further, to his wrists, to the dip of his palm, landing on his fingers. You grip his hand, tight this time. 
“I’m gonna jump,” you whisper, and you feel his grip tighten around yours as he braces to support you off the counter. 
You face him in silence, contemplating, “It’s hot in here, let’s go back out.”
He watches as you pick your cup off the counter and leave, not waiting for him to follow you. He finds himself trying to take deeper breaths, stalling, but not for long as he joins you back on the couch.
It probably came as a shock to both of you the first time Mingyu announced his leave much earlier in the night, when you stopped him, asking him to stay. It was silent for a few sparing moments as you both absorbed what had come out of your mouth, trying to make sense of it. You found yourself needing to coax him a little more to convince him he wasn’t overstaying his visit, that you were having fun. He sits back down, warning you that this was going to be a long night. 
You don’t think you could ever forget the absolute somersault your stomach performed, the after effects leaving you still as a plank. 
It was a long night indeed. And yet, when you found your eyes closing after a fight, much later on the couch with a large blanket shared between the both of you, Mingyu watches you doze off while leaning on the couch facing him, wishing the night was longer. 
If you were awake, you probably would’ve found yourself agreeing.
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There’s a lot Mingyu has to learn about himself. He’s reminded of the fact nearly everyday. Especially right now as Seokmin runs his mouth sitting with him at a secluded booth in some bar. 
They had company, a couple guys joining them for dinner before leaving not too long after. That left him and a slightly tipsy Seokmin alone, who’s currently munching on a platter of crackers in front of him. He was bright enough, the energy from the others keeping him going as they played their drinking games and ate their obnoxious amounts of food. It was alot more somber with only the both of them left, his mood deflating as their friends slowly dwindled in number. That wasn’t about to stop him from ordering another beer though. 
“Summer’s so boring,” he grumbles in dejection, flicking a stray crumb off the table. 
“You chose to stay here,” Mingyu replies. 
Seokmin doesn’t answer him, but continues to look like a kicked puppy, a slight pout forming on his face. 
Mingyu fights the urge to scoff, “You can’t possibly be this upset about summer being depressing.” 
“It’s not about that.” 
Mingyu takes a swig of his own drink before sighing loudly, “What’s this about then?”
Seokmin says your name, and Mingyu is suddenly very interested. “She just seems to be doing a lot better since she started working at the bookstore.”
“Better?”
 “She told me about this guy a couple months ago.”
Mingyu’s trying really hard to not look visibly deflated, not that Seokmin would notice considering his state, but he attempts to sound nonchalant regardless. “Do we know him?”
“I – no, that’s not,” he huffs in exasperation, “She said she overheard him, basically calling her easy.”
“Easy?”
“I don’t know, something about her chasing his tail or whatever, she won’t tell me who it is. She hadn’t been doing too great recently and I’m pretty sure it was because of him.” 
It is dawning on Mingyu, embarrassingly slowly, that the guy Seokmin is talking about — may be him. 
His voice is hoarse, a little frantic. “And she’s doing better, you said?”
“Oh yeah, the bookstore’s been amazing for her. Not sure how though, ‘cause she just sits there doing nothing for hours.”
He can’t bring himself to meet Seokmin’s eyes, remnants of his memories flurrying around in his brain in an attempt to figure out what other bullshit he had spewed that day. He was sure you weren’t there, you couldn’t be.
“Maybe doing nothing was what she needed.” Mingyu’s reply is whatever came to him off the top of his head, mind still racing. 
“Hm, I guess. I was trying to get her to tell me, we could’ve chopped his dick off together,” Seokmin grumbles.
Mingyu winces slightly, eyes tight shut as he pinches the bridge of his nose. There’s a protective hand that subconsciously reaches his crotch area. “Yeah, yeah totally.” 
“Fucker got let off easy, he should be happy she’s doing good.” Seokmin continues to ramble, voice getting increasingly louder. 
“Yeah…”
“She’s not easy. My sister isn’t easy at all! Running after his tail, my ass! She doesn’t need some motherfucker with bad hair to be running his mouth, drunk as a bitch.” He stabs a single chopstick into the spare piece of meat on his plate, and the force has Mingyu flinching slightly. 
“How do you know he has bad hair?” Mingyu continues to stare at the impaled piece of beef that Seokmin brings to his mouth. 
“I don’t need to know a motherfucker to know he uses shitty hair gel.” 
Mingyu may try to run his hair gel past Seokmin at some point. But right now, he’s only trying to make it out of the bar with his sex organs intact.
“Hey, we’re past this, remember? She’s doing great right now and that’s all that matters.” Mingyu sounds overly flustered, but he can’t bring himself to care as he attempts to reign in an angry Seokmin. They were garnering looks, and the last thing he wanted was to get kicked out before they had paid. 
Seokmin is still huffing and puffing, but significantly less so as he finds reason in Mingyu’s words. “I’m gonna find out who he is.”
“You hate living in peace.”
“My sister’s hasn’t had any peace because of this dickwad, I’m—” 
“OKAY! Okay, got it. We’ll figure that out when you’re sober.” Mingyu rises from his own seat as he finds Seokmin lifting his own butt off his chair in a near war cry. 
He manages to fend him off, waving for the bill before he has to pull him back from aimlessly marching to whoever’s house he had in mind. He calms down as they wait for the check, finishing the remaining scraps on the table in silence. 
Seokmin seems nearly back to his regular self after a few minutes, forehead creases smoothing over during his cool down time. He speaks, except this time it’s in a more socially acceptable manner.
“Hey, I’ve been noticing, you and her have been getting pretty close lately. I don’t know, it’s just, I woke up and saw both on the couch and —” 
“Here’s your bill!” The waiter cuts him mid sentence, placing the check on the table. 
Mingyu knew what Seokmin was getting to, and he was thanking every star in the galaxy for bringing the waiter into their lives at that exact moment. He’s quick to fuss over the glossy piece of paper, humming and making comments at their purchases to fill in any silent opportunities to let Seokmin continue. Mingyu’s slips his card in the wallet.
“It’s on me,” he announces as he flashes a quick smile to the waiter. “You can cut a ten for yourself.” 
“Wait, what — let’s split, what’s wrong with you?” Seokmin jolts up as registers what’s happening a little too late. 
“It’s fine, you can pay for the next one.” He says as he shifts around the table to look for his phone. “You should probably go to bed too, it’s getting pretty late. Sleep off the beer and whatnot.” 
Seokmin is left speechless as Mingyu gets up, grabbing his stuff. 
“Wait, your card—” Seokmin starts. 
“Is here,” Mingyu spews a quick ‘thanks’ to the waiter, waving his card in front of Seokmin so he’d finally stand the fuck up.
“Do I need to drag you out of that chair, let’s go!” he says, grabbing Seok by the arm to lift him off his seat. It was nearly funny how he couldn’t get him to stay within the vicinity mere minutes ago and now is begging for him to get up. 
By the time Mingyu’s jamming Seok’s key into your apartment, he’s tired of his endless rambling. He can only appreciate his drunk brain for not bringing up the last question he tried asking him. He’s opening the door, urging Seokmin to walk inside, slapping him awake from his nap against the wall.
Mingyu deems it best to physically put him in bed for the furnitures’ sake, pushing him in front to lead him to his room. Mingyu’s spent by the time he’s done and Seokmin is snoring, his back cracking from the hunched position he’s kept from tucking him in and taking his shoes and jacket off. 
He tiptoes out (despite knowing it’d take a marching band to wake him up at that point), closing the door as quietly as possible. 
“What’re you doing here?” 
Mingyu nearly jumps out of his skin, landing a mile as he hears your voice in the dark hallway, hand coming up to his heart. “Jeez— announce yourself, would you?” 
“In my own house?” you raise an eyebrow. 
“Just—” he waves you off as he comes round, standing straight. “I was putting Seok to bed.”
You inhale sharply. “Did you drink?”
“Me? No, but he’s knocked out right now, he’s probably gonna need a pill in the morning,” he replies. 
“Hm, I’ll see to it in the morning, or whenever it is that he wakes up.” 
“Yeah.” Mingyu is standing awkwardly in front of you in the dark hall, not having anything else to say. “I’ll get going now.”
“Oh, right, yeah. Get some sleep,” you say as you let him move past you. 
“You too, don’t know why you’re awake,” he chuckles quietly. 
“Couldn’t sleep, I’ll go to bed now though.”
The awkwardness is painful, Mingyu can feel it in his chest. But what he’s feeling more is the way you look in your night shirt now that you’re in the light of the living room, legs shown farther up than you’d usually let them go. He wonders if you're wearing shorts underneath, but slaps himself out of it when he realises he’s been silent for too long. 
“Uh yeah, I’ll go now. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Mingyu.”
Mingyu replays the last five minutes in his head the entire car ride home, when he’s changing out of his clothes, when he’s brushing his teeth, when he crawls under the warm covers to finally call it a night. Mingyu thinks about what he said all those months ago at a dumb party, how he’s hurt you more than he thought he had. There’s an ache that plunges into him, the thought of you going through that because of him while he stayed blissfully unaware. 
He doesn’t know what he’s gonna do to make it up to you, but right now, he’s happy. Happier than he’s been in a while, falling asleep to the thought of you. 
“Goodnight, Mingyu.”
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You, on the other hand, are far from happy as you find yourself in yet another car related predicament. 
Having to run to work in the middle of July is never a preferred option, yet you find yourself needing to do it anyway when you walk out to your engine refusing to start. 
You really needed a new car. 
Abandoning the hunk of what was turning out to be just expensive scrap metal, you rile other options out in your head. 
Seokmin was long gone with his car. The bus was gonna take too long. No way in hell were you about to overpay a taxi to take you somewhere that was essentially just a 15 minute walk (read as run). 
So you find yourself slinging your bag as a crossbody, thanking the heavens that you at least didn’t need to change your shoes. You pray for your white sneakers as you run across town, blurting apologies to passerbys that would gape at your hurried form. As apologetic as you were, it didn’t compare to how sorry you felt for yourself, the heat pricking your skin in an agitated rise anytime you’d slow down. 
The AC is near heavenly as you gasp walking into the bookstore, red faced and hair sticking to your forehead. 
“Sorry,” you gulp frantically. “Sorry, I’m late.”
“Oh god,” you hear your boss comment as she sees you walk in. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I just need a minute. Car broke down.”
She ushers you in front of the AC, waiting for you to collect yourself before taking her leave. 
“I think I’m okay now, sorry about that.” Your chuckle comes out a little choked. So much for being convincing. 
“You really should get a new car. I have a friend who’s daughter is selling hers, do you want me to ask them for you?” She’s patting your shoulder as she talks to you, and you recognize her courage to look past the sweat that’s accumulated there.  
“That’d be great actually, thank you.” 
Your second blow of the day comes right after you’ve finally gotten rid of the buckets of sweat on your body, seating yourself behind your desk to do some digging of your own.
You immediately wish you hadn’t as soon as you open the first second hand market site, the price tags landing you somewhere between never happening and impossible. Groaning, you place your head in your hands as you try to think of what to do. You pray your boss would come back with a quote that isn’t as outrageous as everything else you’ve cursed your eyes upon, seeing as that seemed the only viable option for you. 
Closing the windows off your computer, you decide this was a headache for another time. You reach for your bag to rummage through it, only to find yourself in your third predicament of the day. 
You had forgotten your book. 
It shouldn’t have been a worry, considering you were in a bookstore and had access to about 56 more of the same edition that you could borrow for the day. Except it was a worry, because your copy had been religiously tabbed and annotated as you would read, not a single thought left to be forgotten in your head as they would spring up. You can almost see the pink cover sitting on your desk and you nearly begin to cry. 
You wonder if you could break your ‘one book at a time’ streak for the sake of it, picking up another one off the shelf to start. The thought nearly makes you gag, the anxiety of losing interest in your current one leading you to sit aimlessly at your desk for the rest of the day. 
What’s even more anxiety inducing to you, however, was the promise you’d made with Mingyu the week prior, to be finished with the book by the end of today so you could finally decide whether the end was worth it or not. The thought has you nearly picking up a copy off the shelf anyway, annotations be damned. Force of habit, however, forbids you as you are shunned by yourself to play solitaire for the rest of the day. 
Things seem to look up for you though, as you find yourself reading a text from Mingyu nearly halfway through your day. 
You hadn’t spoken to Mingyu at all for the entire week, caving when you found an excuse to finally talk to him to ask where he’d left off on the book. It was even longer before that, reaching the near three week mark where you were virtually zero contact.  
You’d be lying if you said it didn’t bother you, his sudden absence raising a mild panic within you as your mind raced with the possibilities. 
Was he uncomfortable with you? 
Was he avoiding you? 
Were you less low key than you thought? Was he catching on to how you still weren’t over him? 
The wilder thoughts seemed to be laid to rest when you couldn’t take it anymore, texting under the guise of your mutual book topic. Your brain still couldn’t handle it, picking up minuscule details in his texting behavior. Perhaps his replies were choppy, perhaps they were shorter than usual, but it was enough to give your mind the rest it needed regardless of whatever the facts were. 
Needless to say, you were more than happy to receive a text from him first after weeks, immediately replying. 
[Mingyu]: hey  [Mingyu]: are you at work today?  [You]: yeah  [You]: i get off at 10 tho  [Mingyu]: can i see you today? 
You try to contain the growing flurry of excitement as you type. It was easier to stay casual over text, you find yourself appreciating. 
[You]: course [You]: are you coming to the store?  [Mingyu]: i’ll meet you at your place when you get off  [You]: okay!!! [You]: see you then 
There’s a ghost of a smile on your face as you switch to playing computer chess in celebration. Your day was going horribly, but perhaps it was to balance out the happiness you were feeling at the thought of seeing Mingyu in person after nearly a month. 
Were you being dramatic? Possibly. But you figured you’d been left waiting long enough. You let yourself have a spring in your step for the rest of the day, closing up nearly an hour early as you practically skipped back home, enjoying the significantly better nightly weather. Maybe you were abusing your employee privileges, but you couldn’t take the anticipation anymore. 
Humming to yourself, you're hopping into the shower as soon as you get home, wanting to freshen up as quickly as possible before he gets here. It was near heaven’s plan the way the day is unfolding for you. Perhaps the universe knew you needed the time to unwind today, bringing Mingyu to you despite the near four week gap. 
Grabbing your pens and your book, you settle on the kitchen counter to do something you’d been looking forward to all day, nearly giddy that Mingyu would be joining you to wind down with you soon enough. You’re invested by the time the doorbell rings, a simultaneous text from Mingyu, confirming that he was at the door. 
Opening the front door is probably the easiest thing you’ve done all day, grin at the ready as you greet him. 
“Hey,” you breathe out at the sight of him. 
“Hi,” he replies, slipping inside as you give him space to take off his shoes. 
Leading him into the kitchen, you comment lightheartedly, “Nice to see you’re still alive.” 
He chuckles slightly at that, “Yeah…sorry about that. I’ve been pretty caught up with…stuff.”
“The exhibition? Weren’t you nearly done with that?” you question as you pass him a glass of water. 
He takes a sip before setting it down again, both hands holding the cup on the counter. “It wasn’t that, I’ve been done for a while. Just waiting.” 
“It’s next week, isn’t it?” 
He hums in response, taking another minuscule sip of water.  
“What was it that was keeping you this occupied for so long then?” you continue with a slight snort, trying not to over analyze his slightly…off putting behavior. 
“Uh,” he starts, “Is Seokmin home?” 
“Seokmin?” you frown, confused. Was he here to see your brother? “He’s out. I thought you knew.”
“Yeah, I know. Just confirming.” 
“Oh.” You sit down on your own chair at the counter, trying to make sense of his mood. 
“Mingyu, are you okay—”
“I need to talk to you.” 
“O-okay.” 
It’s silent. Painfully so. 
“I don’t know how else to bring this up so I’m just gonna cut to the chase.” 
There’s no reply from your end as you simply stare at him in anticipation, wondering what on earth had him looking this serious as he faces you in his seat. 
“I know I’ve done a lot to hurt you. Never enough to match what you’ve felt, but I know you’ve been through the muck because of me, and it makes me feel horrible that I was the cause of something like that.” 
“Mingyu—“
“I want to apologize, before I say anything else. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. And I know an apology isn’t gonna take away what I did to you, but I just need you to know that I’m really, really sorry.”
His breathing is heavy as he talks, while yours is near nonexistent as you need to remind yourself to breathe manually. 
“I’ve done a lot of growing up in the past year. And I hate myself for making you a subject of that transition when you were the last person that deserved it. I’m happy to say that won’t happen again, because I’ve learned my lesson. For good.”
He pauses. 
“I’m not asking you to forgive me, because… because I don’t know if I’ll ever deserve it for what I’m about to say. I may be acting selfish right now but, I think you deserve to know after everything.”
“I love you. I love you so, so much it hurts. I…I’m sorry, I love you. I don’t know how else to say it but, I love you. And I might be hurting you even more with this but I swear I’m not lying. I love you.”
There’s tears now, heavy ones that drip down his face as he refuses to look back up at you, eyes screwed shut in a desperate attempt to halt the pure emotion that’s trailing down. 
You have your own wet cheeks, glossy, shaking eyes that don’t tear away from his hunched form. You’re listening. You’re listening to everything and it’s too much. 
“Mingyu,” you whisper. You give up on trying to talk as you let out a breath that sounds almost like a sob. 
It’s silent for a few more moments as you absorb everything that’s happening, mind running a hundred miles an hour yet, still as a rock. It’s too much. 
“Mingyu, I can’t believe you’re saying this to me.” Your voice is quivering, but you manage the words. “After everything. You’re standing in this very kitchen and saying this to me.”
The deja vu was overwhelming, and you’re projected back to last year when the both of you stood on these very tiles, as you poured your heart out to the man in front of you, only to be told you were an idiot to think he could ever love you like that. The words may not have been said, but the message was clear: you were not made for Kim Mingyu. 
And yet, you find yourself in front of an apologetic man, expressing his remorse. And oozing love for you, of all people. Why now? You want to scream. Where was this when you were ready to take him so willingly in your arms. 
You’re lying if you say you still don’t want to plant yourself in his hold to sob out your own wretched “I love you”’s. You wanted to go to him. To take what you’ve wanted for so, so long. 
But you can’t. You can’t do it. 
“I know,” he whispers. “I’m not asking you to do something about any of this. I’m not asking anything of you at all. I just need you to know.”
You bite back a remark, trying so hard to calm yourself down. 
“I think you should go.” Your voice breaks. “Please.”
Mingyu is gone. But his scent lingers. His cup remains on the counter, the same one he put his lips to. As he prepared to speak, and speak, and speak. 
You can’t stand to stay in the kitchen anymore. 
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You were fourteen the first time Mingyu broke your heart. 
It was an accident, perhaps, considering you were willing to do absolutely anything to be around Mingyu when your brother would have him over. What you didn’t know this time, was that the both of them had company. 
Tiptoeing down the hall was easy the second you heard your brother's voice coming from the kitchen, announcing that he was getting drinks for them. The plan was simple; walk in under the guise of being annoyed at Seokmin for something and then relish when Mingyu would defend you from his inevitable rage — except this time you’d have a few extra minutes alone with him before your brother trudged back.  
Putting on the best annoyed face you could, you stalk past Seokmin’s room, immediately wishing you hadn’t. Mingyu was in your brother's room as expected, sitting on the floor, surrounded by papers with numbers and letters too complex. But he wasn’t alone. There was a girl that sat between his legs, turned over in his arms as they whisper to each other. They weren’t studying at all; the giggles and smiles were a dead giveaway. 
You halt in your tracks at the edge of the doorway in mild disbelief, brain computing the situation in front of you. They hadn’t noticed you yet, it was apparent with the way she leans into him to place her lips on his in a peck. 
There’s a yell of your name behind you as Seokmin sees you loitering around his room. You jump in surprise, not expecting him back so quickly. Your brother, too, isn’t alone, a girl of his own accompanying him with her arms full of cans, peeking over his shoulder to catch sight of your distressed form. 
“What’re you doing?”
Running was the worst thing you could do, and yet you found yourself doing just that in your cornered state. Catapulting face first into your pillows, the sobs coming before you could muffle them. It was humiliating, even more so when you feel your mother’s hand coming up to your shoulder in a stretch of comfort. 
“I yelled at him, he won’t do it again!” she attempted to reason with you, trying endlessly to get you to emerge from your cavern of comforters. 
“It’s not that!” you groan.
“What is it then? Darling, I won’t know if you won’t tell me.” 
Your mother gave up a little bit after that, and your brother had apologized for yelling at you; apologized for all the wrong reasons. You brushed him over.
There were worse things circling your mind in that moment, like the image of Mingyu in a liplock with another girl, the image of him holding her with all his limbs. 
You couldn’t imagine anything worse than that.
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“What the fuck, is wrong with the both of you?” Your brother swoops in like a pesky seagull and snatches the book right out of your hands, eyes blown in exasperation. 
“What the fuck is wrong with you?! Give it back!” you yell, reaching for the book that he’s placed over his head. Climbing the couch does little when he simply moves away from you. 
“Not until you tell me what’s going on between you and Mingyu.” 
“Nothing is — ugh,” you drop back onto the couch in frustration. You take a deep breath. “Nothing is going on. Now can I have my fucking book back?” 
“No, you're avoiding each other.”
“He’s your friend, why would I hang out with him?” 
“Stop dodging the question!” he spits. 
“Stop dodging.” You exclaim as you jump for the book another time. 
“Why don’t you want to go to the exhibition?” He throws the book to the corner of the room. It takes every fiber in your body to stop yourself from plucking every strand of hair off his head. 
“Seokmin!” you scream. 
“Your book’s fine. Is this about the guy you told me about?” He asks, hands grabbing you by the upper arms, forcing you to look at him. 
“No, it’s not,” you grit. 
“Why don’t you want to go to the exhibition?” he repeats, making direct eye contact. 
“Because,” you start, exhaling deeply, “I’m tired.”
“It’s an exhibition for fucks sake, an exhibition with your face plastered all over it. You go in for five minutes and you’re out. Put something on and let’s go!” 
“I don’t want to go.”
“I’m not taking no for an answer. You’ve been doing nothing but go to work and stay home, you need air.”
“I need you out of my air,” you swat his hands away, thoroughly disgruntled. 
“I’m giving you twenty minutes.” 
He was serious, you realize as he begins to pound on your door with two minutes left to spare. You decided you weren’t about to be embarrassing and show up in your sweatpants, encasing the final shreds of dignity you had left. You couldn’t imagine being asked “who?” when the face on the walls doesn’t match with the one you brought to the place, not doubting the number of fancy scouters that’d be gracing the crowd tonight.
 Opting for a plain black dress and a coverup felt enough for you, your usual makeup and matching accessories helping you feel better about the bags under your eyes your concealer couldn’t quite erase. 
Seokmin says nothing for probable fear of having you landing back on the couch, choosing to ask you a simple, “Ready?” instead.
The drive is short and silent, the remnants of you and your brother's prior argument still hanging in the air. You weren’t about to apologize to each other, but you would let the hours cool you off before you’re back to your normal selves. For now, you’re glad to step out of the stuffy car, the anticipation having you needing to breathe in an elevated sense. 
The place is more crowded than you thought it would be, men and women in fancier than necessary clothes loitering the entrance carpeting. You suddenly feel underdressed. 
Catching Mingyu’s name is easy, the display at the front doing the most to highlight the star of the night, catching sight of him is proving a little more difficult. Not that you’re trying, but Seokmin’s embarrassing neck stretches are having you restraining yourself from pulling him down by the collar. 
Walking into the display is a strange experience, for you at least. The pictures are larger than you’d thought they would be, spanning the giant walls of the gallery. Your face is huge. 
There’s a few other one’s that scatter between the portraits, beautiful all the same. You find yourself wandering as you note the plaques next to the pieces, descriptions and words from the artist; Mingyu’s words. It’s easy to begin looking at the pictures through his eyes, the meticulous scanning you’re doing proving easier for you to zone out despite the crowd. 
You’ve gone through nearly every picture, approaching the last one, the one that looked a little more important than the rest as you take in its size. The steps you take towards the plaque are halted as you hear someone calling for you. You recognize his voice, how could you not?
Mingyu is weaving through the crowd to get to you, eyes locked as he tries to make way for himself. Your mouth is open by the time he’s here, mind frantic as you try to figure out what you should say. 
Congratulations.
You’ve worked hard on this. 
This looks great.
How’ve you been?
“You’re here,” he says, simple as that. 
“I’m here,” you breathe out, a nervous smile on your face as you look down at your shoes. 
“Seok told me you were here too.” 
Your head snaps up, “You were looking for me?” 
“I mean, it’s a bit difficult with the crowd—”
“Oh,” you cut him off before you could forget. “Congratulations, by the way. The turnout looks great.”
“Uh, yeah. It’s great.” His eyes skim around the large hall.
You hate how his craning is drawing your eyes to everything else. So to say the plain black button up and slacks he’s sporting, the thin chain he wears around the unbuttoned collar. You hate how he’s put in no effort, and you hate how it makes him look even better somehow. 
“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asks after he rounds back to you. 
Your reply is drowned in your throat as somebody calls for him across the hall, pointing at a mic in their hands. 
“I have to go address everyone, you’ll be here, right?” he asks, but he once again has no chance to listen to your answer when somebody physically drags him by the elbow and yanks him away from you. You lose sight of him in the crowd of people, his face disappearing.
It gives you enough opportunity to slowly turn around to go back to your plaque reading, exhaling loudly as you walk up to the final, biggest piece on the wall. It’s labeled as the focal point of the collection. It’s a picture of you, and for some reason, you can’t remember taking it, or posing for it at all. 
You recognize the mountain top, more so the grueling trek up the place for your last shoot with him. It’s a side profile, your arms folding over the railing, face tucked into your padded arms. A single ray of light illuminates your eyes, the background soft. 
The picture was an accident. A moment that may have gone forgotten, yet one that appeared right when it was meant to. A mistake made on purpose, one that manages to carry the weight of years. A slow accession of golden rays, dawn illuminating the subject in hues indescribable, except those that describe a feeling. A feeling in turn, indescribable.
Soft. Legible. New.
You take a step back. 
And another
Then another. 
You look at the picture, the picture of you. Taken the one time you weren’t actively posing for the camera, the one time he wasn’t meant to take a picture of you. It landed here, at the seemingly deserved position of a final piece. The piece that was meant to emulate all that the artist wanted to come out of his work. 
You crane your neck up higher, the name of the collection in bold block letters right above the picture that supposedly says it all. 
THE BEGINNING
There’s a ball forming in your throat, one that's cementing itself where it stays. 
There’s noise happening in your peripherals, somebody speaking into a mic on stage. You’re not paying attention until you hear his name. 
“I’m pleased to present to you the man of the hour, mister Kim Mingyu…” 
You watch with glossy eyes as he takes the stand, clearing his throat before he begins to speak. 
You needed to leave. 
Finding Seokmin is easy, and you thank every plane of heaven that it is, considering you’d rather be caught dead than be seen red nosed and teary eyed. 
“Let’s go home.”
“Huh? Right now? He just started talking.” Seokmin argues, tearing his eyes away from the stage to gape at you, only to note the expression on your face. “Hey, what’s wrong?” 
“Seokmin, you said five minutes.” You grip his sleeve tight. “Please, either give me the keys, or I’ll get a cab.” 
He pauses for a moment, and you immediately hate yourself for making him choose between staying for his best friend or leaving for his sister. He slowly comes down to grip your hand, pulling you away. 
“Let me drop you off home.” 
You’ve calmed down a significant amount during the car ride home, managing to convince (fight) Seokmin into going back to the exhibition hall before Mingyu noticed that he was gone. You wouldn’t forgive yourself if you made him miss something as important as this just because you couldn’t control your emotions.
He hugs you at the door, tight, and you hug back just as strong, holding back the river of tears that suddenly threaten to let loose. He presses his lips to your temple, muttering a little ‘I love you’ before he leaves. He knew nothing, yet was ready to comfort you like he did.
You let yourself sob after that, as wracking and strong as they’d come. It’s freeing, to fall to your knees and simply cry like a child. You aren’t sure what it is that you’re crying about, yet you know all the same. The thought of both those things make your head begin to spin, causing another fresh wave of tears to come rushing down. 
Remnants of the day Mingyu spoke his truth to you in your own kitchen come tumbling back; the shock, the anger, the hurt, and despite everything, the love.
You loved Mingyu, you weren’t going to sit here and deny it when you were a mess of jewels on the floor with only his face at the forefront of your mind. You’re a liar if you say you don’t love him. You’re a liar if you say you’ll ever stop. 
Years and years of pining and wishing and praying, to hope that one day, Mingyu would open his eyes with the realization that he loves you the same. 
The day came. Your prayers were granted, your wishes came true; you no longer had to sit on the sidelines as an ignored constant. And yet, you found yourself wanting to be anywhere but in his presence as the prayer unfolded. 
Were you too weak to handle reciprocation? Have you gotten comfortable pining by yourself? Or was it something completely else. Were you still hurt by his words? Were you aghast at his audacity to have the courage to speak his heart to you, when you went years without doing so? 
Were you protecting yourself? Or were you actively throwing the golden chance you’d received right out the window? 
You’re tired, it’s evident with the effort it takes you to simply reach your bedroom, heels thrown somewhere in the doorway as you made the trek barefooted. Hoping your muscles would release the pent up tension at the learnt feeling of the mattress, you find yourself closing your eyes awaiting the relief. 
Still clad in your dress and makeup, you attempt to find the solace of sleep, knowing you’d feel nothing if there was nothing to perceive. The universe doesn’t seem to want to give you that luxury, your eyes wide awake despite closed lids. The thoughts aren’t showing signs of slowing down either, every part of your mind alive as you remain still as a rock on your bed. 
You aren’t sure how long you’ve been in bed, but as you hear the distinct jingle of keys in a lock, you know Seokmin is home. The door of your room is opened very quietly, and closed just as quick when he sees your form in bed seemingly asleep. 
You open your eyes for the first time in hours, the darkness remaining as you slowly sit up against the cushions. Your movements are sluggish as you stare into the abyss, brain quiet for once as you swing your bare legs over the mattress, slowly trudging down the hall to your brother's bedroom. 
Knocking slowly, you hear a slight shuffle before the door is opened, the light from inside the room illuminating the dark hall and forcing you to squint. 
“Did I wake you?” Seokmin asks, sporting formal trousers with his dinosaur pajama shirt.
“Uh, no, I was awake.”
“Why haven’t you changed yet?” 
You ignore him, cutting straight to the chase, “Can I borrow your car?” 
There’s silence for nearly three seconds before Seokmin speaks, “What on earth do you need my car for this late at night?” 
“Nayeon’s” 
“Bullshit.”
You let out a loud, loud sigh, “Will you believe it for now?” 
Your brother looks at you with an expression you can’t really pinpoint, eyes like he’s scanning into your soul. “The keys are at the door.”
You walk back to your room to grab your phone and your cover up, not bothering to change as you grab Seokmin’s keys and leave. It probably wasn’t a good idea to leave the house so late at night, but your brain seems to have activated tunnel vision as you nearly stalk towards the car. You’re pulling up to where you need to be within minutes, the empty roads leading you on near autopilot. 
By the time you’re standing in front of the door, your desire to settle this once and for all turns pungent in your head. You needed to end this one way or another, you were tired of running in circles. 
Ringing the doorbell is easy, it’s just the realization that settles during those few moments of waiting that grab you by the throat. You were really doing this. 
Mingyu opens the door quicker than you’d anticipated, after briefly wondering if he’d already gone to sleep after the long day he’s probably had. His brows furrow as he registers you at his door, your name tumbling out of his lips in mild confusion. He’s still in the clothes you saw him last, and you doubt it’s been long since he got home too. 
“Promise me you mean it,” you say. 
“What?”
“Promise me you mean it.”
“Mean what?” The crease between his brows deepens as he tries to make sense of what you’re saying. 
“Whatever you said. Promise me you mean it. Promise me. On all the years we spent together, on every truth you've ever said to me. Promise on me that you mean it.”
The silence is deafening, yet you wait. You wait for him to respond. You wait for him to understand what you’re saying. 
Mingyu gulps before opening his door wider, expression neutralizing slightly as he invites you inside. “Why're you standing on the door? Come inside.”
“I’m not taking another step in your direction, Kim Mingyu, not until you answer me,” you snap. 
Letting his hand leave the grip on the door, he brings them both up to rub at his face, taking a simultaneous breath, deep and shaky. When he emerges his eyes are showing a hint of red as he licks his lips. 
Your grip on your own fingers tighten as Mingyu talks. 
“I want to rip my heart out for what it wants from you. I want to rip it out for what it did to yours. Believe me when I say I’ve forgotten how it felt to be this sincere. I love you. I don't deserve to say it, but I love you.”
There’s a beat that passes, one that you barely feel as you throw your bag on the floor of his entryway, grabbing him by the collar with both hands as you yank his face down to hover right in front of yours, nose touching, lips not quite. 
“If you’re lying to me,” you whisper, shaky voiced, “I’m gonna chop your balls off.”
Mingyu answers for you as he finally, finally closes the cursed gap between you, lips capturing yours in a long awaited kiss. You let him pull you inside as you move your lips against each other, the distinct click of the door signaling you were finally inside. 
His hands grip your hips and waist in a manner that’s near painful, yet you can’t find yourself complaining even as he pushes you against the now closed door, hard. His mouth leaves yours for what is barely a second, before your desperate hands move his face back in to continue what you’ve been wanting to do for years. 
His mouth is warm, the vaguest hint of champagne on his tongue. You wonder how many toasts he’s clinked and downed, how many times he thought of you as he celebrated. 
“I love you,” you mumble against his lips. 
Mingyu’s hands are pushing your body against his own, so flush and tight you can barely breathe. Like he’d rather die than bring space between the two of you in that moment. 
“I love you, too,” he mumbled back between kisses. “I love you so much.”
Both of your hands are beginning to roam, less innocent than the fingers tangled in his hair and digging into his shoulders, less innocent than the grips on your hips and neck. It isn’t until his hands are groping your ass that you begin to subconsciously tug at his shirt, wanting the wretched thing out of the way to finally feel him in full. 
There’s a warm hand that grips yours as he stops you, lips pulling away slightly as he rests his forehead against yours. There’s a wild moment of sobriety as you wonder if you’ve read the situation wrong, if you pushed too far. 
“You’re asking me for something I’m ready to give you.” He sounds breathless. “But I need to know if you really want it.”
He looks absolutely gorgeous with his swollen lips, your lipstick staining his own mouth, his messy hair from all the desperate fingers running through them. It takes one look into his bedroom eyes to have your yeses tumbling out your mouth. 
“I want it. I want it if you’ll give it to me. Mingyu, please.”
He leans in to give you a soft peck before pulling away slowly. “You can stop me whenever, just say the word.”
He’s facing you as he speaks, hands pulling you further into the house in slow and steady steps. “I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want me to, I promise.”
By the time you reach the four walls of his bedroom, you’re itching to have his hands on you again, something he senses as he presses his hot mouth to your awaiting lips. His touches become decreasingly respectful as his hands run up your sides, thumbs brushing against the sides of your clothed breasts as he moves his mouth further down. 
Kisses line your jaw, reaching the joint as he nips at your earlobe teasingly. Pushing the coverup off of your shoulders is easy, fingers tracing the exposed skin as his mouth moves down to your neck, nipping and sucking teasingly. Your breathing is embarrassingly heavy. 
“You’re gorgeous,” you hear him breathe out. 
His fingers fit under the zipper of your dress not too long after, pulling it down to reveal your back tantalizingly slow. His hands smooth over your waist once he reaches the bottom, bringing them up to your upper body as you feel his palms grab your breasts in a soft squeeze. The moan you let out is small, but enough to encourage him to bring his hands to the straps of your dress, pulling them down your shoulders one after the other. 
“Do you realize how good you looked in this today,” he says. “Was so happy you came, so, so happy to see you after so long.”
Mingyu kisses you again in a slow, passionate manner, hands pushing down the tight fabric of the bodice to let it fall off your body to a pile on the floor. It leaves you bare save for your bra and panties. 
Mingyu lets out a groan at the sight in the dimly lit room, the sound checking in as one of the hottest things you’ve ever heard, the vibrations leading straight to your core like they belonged there. The focus goes back to his hands that continue to roam your body, mouth traveling further south to leave hot, open mouthed kisses on your cleavage. 
Your own fingers come up to fiddle with the buttons of his dress shirt, managing to pull a couple loose as you whine, “Mingyu.”
“Patience, my love.” He moves you backwards slowly as his mouth leaves your chest, pushing you into the plush of his mattress as you feel the back of your knees bump into the edge. “Let me take my time with you.”
He brings a knee up to the bed as he keeps his gaze on you, beginning to unbutton the rest of his shirt as you prop yourself up on your elbows. For once, you’re allowed to stare at the sculpt of his chest and abdomen, letting your gaze take you to the dipped V before the cut off. The mere sight of his fingers working against his belt have you needing to close your thighs for the sake of your now throbbing core. 
Only clad in his dark boxers, you let him climb over you in a way you can only describe as a prowl, inserting himself between your legs as he pushes your head up to the headboard. The hand that splays out on your thigh is having the muscle twitch, the anticipation for what he might do next gripping you. 
“Let me get this off of you,” he says with his hands toying with the elastic of your bra, prompting you to arch your back so he could reach under to unclasp it in a way you can only call professional. 
There’s barely any time for you to feel a semblance of embarrassment when he flings the padding away, mouth coming in direct contact with your breast in a harsh suck. The feeling has you moaning his name into the dark room, only encouraging his wet tongue to circle around the bud before going back to suckling. He doesn’t forget your other breast as he brings his hand up to squeeze the mound and play with your nipples the same. 
The sensations are overwhelming already, your hands gripping his hair in desperation as you throw your head back at his ministrations. The ache in your underwear is becoming increasingly difficult to resist, the foreign feeling of his mound against your inner thigh only coursing more want into your awaiting heat. 
Your chest is a mess of redness and saliva but the time Mingyu’s had his fill, pulling away to admire the work he’s left. 
“Fuck, Mingyu, please,” his name is the only thing that comes out in your pleas, hoping he’d give you wanted before you lost your mind for good. 
“I love this lighting on you,” he says simply, moving to sit on his knees as he takes his eyes up and down your practically naked frame. 
Both hands come in to push your thighs further apart, giving him better access to the gold that sits right in between. “You’re beautiful.” 
You feel the pad of his thumb come in contact with your clit in the lightest pressure, slowly brushing over the muscle as he continues. “The most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen.” 
He presses his thumb in further, pushing down to meet your hole, the source of the large wet patch on the fabric of panties. The whimpers the new feeling is having you let out are near embarrassing. Hooking his fingers around your panties, he asks, “Can I take these off?” 
“Yes!” you gasp out immediately, hip rising to let them slide the pesky fabric off and away. 
He wastes no time in bringing his fingers to your folds, gathering your arousal in his fingers as he spreads them across your throbbing clit. He’s rubbing the area in circular motions, the feeling having you wracking out sounds you never thought you could make. The sheets are bunched up in your grip as you throw your head back at the feeling that encases you, eyes screwed shut. 
“Oh, Mingyu,” 
That only encourages him as his other hand joins the party, a lone finger circling your entrance in preparation to plunge into you, slowly, all the way to the hilt of his finger. Zoning in on the feeling, the pump of his fingers into your core, the constant ministrations of his other thumb on your clit. Your hands leave his wrinkled sheets as they come in to grip his wrists and forearm, needing to feel his skin to anchor yourself into the present. Not being able to bring yourself to open your eyes, he takes it upon himself to insert another finger, encouraging your lids to fly open at the stretch and the loud moan that comes with it. 
“God, you’re so fucking wet, I’m barely pushing.” It may have embarrassed you a little if you weren’t so withdrawn from pleasure, the prospect only having you whimper his name even more. 
It isn’t when he curls his fingers inside you that you feel the need to stifle the sounds that come out of your throat, hand to mouth as the volume has you needing to shut yourself up. He brings his hand off your clit to grab you by the wrist, freeing your mouth of restraint. 
“Don’t,” his voice gravelly as he gets off his knees to hover over you, his other hand continuing to pump his fingers in and out of you in perfect motions. “I wanna hear your voice. I wanna hear all the pretty sounds you’re making.”
He leans in to place a chaste kiss on your mouth, fingers quickening their pace as your sounds grow louder, “Mingyu, I think I’m…I think I’m close.” 
“It’s okay, let go whenever, darling, it’s okay.” His other hand goes back to its rightful position on your clit, thumb circling the bud in quick motions as he encourages you to climax. 
And you do. The blissful release comes crashing into you hard, the feeling leaving nothing but white hot space in the expanse of your brain, letting the feeling take over as you melt into the sheets. “F-fuck…”
He doesn’t stop either hand till you physically have to push his fingers off of you, the overstimulation coming in hot. 
You don’t come around for a little bit, but feel every searing kiss he leaves on your skin in the aftermath. Pressed into your chest, your collarbones, you neck and your jaw. He makes his way up to your face slowly, pressing his lips onto your closed lids as you wait for your breathing to even out. His face is the first thing you see when you open your eyes, leaning forward to press your own lips against his. 
“How was that?” he asks slowly, and you don’t miss the hint of a smirk on his face. You can’t help but break into a smile of your own. 
“Great.”
“Great?”
“Amazing.” You lean in to kiss him again, palms coming in contact with the expanse of his back as you move your mouths together. It’s not long before your fingers reach the waistband of his boxers, hands coming up front to feel him through the fabric, palming him in the process. 
You feel him shudder in your hold, lips pulling away as he stares into your eyes. 
“What?” you ask in a whisper when he makes no other moves. 
“I’m trying to think if I have condoms or not,” he whispers back, and you can’t help but let out a laugh at his delivery. He begins to giggle with you, backing up as he reaches over to rummage through his nightstand. 
“Fuck yeah,” you hear him say as he comes round with the shiny pack. He’s giggling as he undoes the wrapper, the lighthearted nature of it all bringing a laugh to your own lips. 
Pulling his underwear down and off, you watch as he preps himself with the rubber, your own hand coming up in a trance to stroke his gorgeous length lightly, his palms ghosting over your hand at the feeling. Once he decides he can’t take it anymore he’s grabbing both your wrists to pin them beside your head in one swift motion, earning a gasp from you at the abruptness. 
“I’m gonna put the tip in first, let you adjust before I go in further,” he explains as he uses his knee to push your thighs apart to grant him more access. “I’m gonna listen to you throughout, okay? Just say so if you want me to stop, I’ll hear you.” 
When you don’t reply he continues, “I need to know you heard me, baby.” 
���I heard you,” you answer, and he finally lets go of one of your hands to guide his length to your entrance, gathering your remaining arousal. He’s sliding his tip across your folds, grinding onto your clit within his length and it has you nearly careening off the edge. 
“Mingyu, in, please!” you beg, and you hear him chuckle before he’s finally pressing the tip into your prepped hole. 
You almost breathe a sigh of relief as you feel him begin to push into your hot core, keeping his promise of only getting to the tip, before bringing himself out and going back in. He’s slow as he stretches you out, his hands coming up to the sides of your head as he tucks his face into the crook of your neck. Lifting one of your legs, you wrap them around his waist as you grant him further access into you, one of his hands coming up to keep your raised leg steady. 
He halts when he finally bottoms out, pausing for breath. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just,” you manage, arms wrapped around his shoulders tight. “Give me a second.” 
When you give him the green light and he begins to move out slowly, only to thrust back in, you find yourself settling into the sheets more consciously, ready to take what he was about to finally give you. You’re both a mess of whimpers and sounds, the feeling overtaking any shreds of restraint you had left. His hands are groping you everywhere, his fingers finding your breasts again as he begins to toy with your nipples, all while thrusting into you at a steady yet equally maddening pace.
He feels amazing, beyond just his dick. The feeling of his body pressed against yours is heavenly, the tears beginning to slowly prick at your eyes as you let yourself melt into his hold, a metaphorical layer away from morphing into his skin entirely. The sounds he’s making are pure melodies, the groans, grunts and heavy moans floating around in your otherwise empty head like they’d never ever leave. They do more when they encourage the building feeling in your abdomen, your moans growing increasingly erratic. 
If the bed is creaking from his incessant thrusting, you don’t hear it. The only thing ringing in your head being the near closure you’re about to receive from him. “Gyu, I’m…”
“Shit, me too.” he grunts, and you believe him as his movements begin to grow sloppier, his hips slamming into yours with more force than before. 
And then it’s bliss, the feeling dropping in on your body as you feel yourself begin to spasm in his hold, the loudest moan ripping from your throat at the sensation. You’re contracting around him so, so good, and it’s enough to have him moaning into your own ear as he feels his climax come over him as well. 
He’s shooting his load into the rubber, and for a wild moment you wish he’d rip it off and finish inside you instead, your blabbering brain wanting to take all of him in. The fever passes in a few heavy minutes, Mingyu’s body is dropped on top of you, his length remaining inside your warmth as you both relished in the post sex haze. 
He’s first to pick his sweltering body off of yours, the cool air hitting your skin as he pulls out of you slowly. You’re still trying to come to earth, even when you hear the water beginning to run in the attached bathroom, even when he walks out in a fresh pair of boxers, walking over to your form on the bed. 
His fingers run through your hair as he places soft kisses on your temple, coaxing you to open your eyes. “Come on babe. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
When you make no moves to get up despite opening your eyes, he’s physically pulling you up to grace your head on his chest in an effort to take a step back into the world. His fingers continue to thread through your hair, massaging your head lightly as you breathe in his scent. You do end up getting up and letting him lead you to the bathroom, but only after he threatens to carry you there over his shoulder. The bath is already drawn when you dip your feet into the warm water, planting yourself inside as you lean against the walls of the tub.
“Gyu, why is it warm?” you whine, wanting a cooler temperature to hit your sticky body. 
He chuckles as he sits by the tub, hands coming in to wet your hair for you, “I’m scared your body’s gonna go into shock if I chucked you into a cold bath. You’ll feel better in a minute, love.” 
You don’t argue as he does most of the work for you, shampooing, scrubbing and conditioning. He lets you sit in the tub for a little bit as he leaves to get you a towel and a shirt, coming back to continue coaxing you to leave the tub this time. You grab his outstretched hand, pulling him down to sit next to you again. 
“Sit with me for a little bit, right here,” you say as you lean over the edge of the tub. 
“I can sit with you in bed once you’re dried up,” he tries to reason. “Under the covers. Where it’s more comfortable than hard acrylic, remember?” 
Pouting a little, you let him wrap you in a towel as you admit defeat, too tired to argue much more than that. He continues to shrug one of shirts over your shoulders, going as far as drying your hair before finally letting you crawl back under the covers. He joins you soon after, wrapping his limbs around you in a tight embrace, breathing in the mix of his own shampoo and your scent. 
“Are you okay? Did I do too much?” he asks quietly.
“Mhm,” you hum into his chest. “I’m okay.”
There’s a deep vibration in his chest as he finds your lack of response amusing, looking at your face that looks about three seconds away from slipping into dreamland. Nearly, he realizes, as your eyes are suddenly pushed wide open, a gasp leaving your throat. 
“What? What?” Mingyu asks as you sit up all of a sudden scrambling to find your phone. 
“My phone, where is it?” you ask as you ruffle through the covers. 
“Did you bring it with you?” 
You suddenly remember your bag that you threw in his entryway a couple hours ago, your phone nestled inside. Swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, you attempt to stand up to retrieve it, only to find out the universe wasn’t about to let you do that. You don’t miss Mingyu’s chortle as he watches you nearly fall over after wobbling around like a fawn, your arms trembling as you pull yourself up back on the bed. 
“What the fuck?” you breathe out. 
“Get back on, I’ll get your bag for you.” He’s still smiling when returns, throwing your purse on the bed. 
You immediately unlock your phone to find Nayeon’s contact, choosing to leave her a text considering the late hour.
“What is it?” Mingyu asks again as he watches you type, arms coming up from behind to engulf you in his hold again. 
“I told Seokmin I was at Nayeon’s. He didn’t believe me but I’m telling her to cover for me anyway.” 
“Oh.”
The thought comes to you later than it should have, realizing you’d have to involve Seokmin in…whatever this was, sooner or later. 
“Don’t,” you hear Mingyu say behind you.
“What?”
“Don’t. I know what you’re thinking about. We can deal with Seokmin when we need to, don’t think about it right now, that’s my job.” 
“I-”
“He needs to deal with me being serious about you,” he continues, giggling, “Even if I have to make you run away with me.”
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” 
He brings your wrist up to his mouth, placing a kiss there, “It won’t. I promise.” 
The sitting up thing doesn’t last for too long, both of you wanting nothing more than to lay down for the lack of energy. Limbs are a tangled mess as you both lay in silence, tired but not wanting to go to sleep just yet. It stays that way for a while, head on his chest as you take in the aftermath of everything that’s happened. 
You just had sex with Kim Mingyu. He loves you back. And you know he means it. This isn’t a hyperrealistic childhood fantasy, this is real life. You’re touching him, he’s holding you, you can hear his heart beat, you can feel his skin under the palm of your hand. 
You’re distracted from your thoughts as you sense Mingyu reaching over the edge of the bed to his nightstand as he looks for something, bringing his hand over to show you a very familiar pink cover in his hands. 
“Oh,” you let out as you recognize the title, snorting as you remember where the verdict for that ended, “We were supposed to talk about the ending.”
“We could do that right now.”
“Uh, about that,” you say. “I never actually got to finish it.”
“You were supposed to be done like two weeks ago,” he frowns.
“I didn’t get to finish it the day…the day you came over. Couldn’t bring it in myself to touch it after that.” you say as you note the little tabs sticking out the sides, wanting to address them. 
“You can use this one to finish it then, it’s yours.” 
You glance up at him as he talks, opening the book to skim through the pages. And then you see it, tiny scribbles on margins, sticky notes at chapter ends with his thoughts, colorful tabs sticking out of every highlighted line, everything complete with a color coded key in the front.
“I saw you do it with your other books, found out it’s not actually a crime to write in books and…I guess it became fun.” he explains as he watches you flick through the pages. “I was gonna give this to you at some point. Sounded like a thoughtful idea in my head.”
You don’t answer him, simply facing him in silence before continuing, “I would’ve been sucking your dick right now if I wasn’t so tired.”
He throws his head back in a loud laugh, the high pitched noise sounding across the room as he nearly curls up from the hilarity. You don’t think it was that funny, but maybe it’s because you were telling the truth. You’re pretty sure you’ve joked about wanting to do that to someone who’d do something like this for you, perhaps you could find the transcripts hidden in some text messages with Nayeon later to show Mingyu.
 His laughter is contagious regardless, giggles of your own coming out as you watch him practically lose it. 
“I think you need to go to sleep,” you comment through bouts of laughter. 
He sighs a vocal sigh as he calms down slowly, agreeing with your suggestion that the near morning delirium was getting to both of your heads. You rest your newly acquired, yet equally prized possession to the side, finally turning in for the night as he reaches to turn his night lamp off. 
Mingyu moves to press his forehead into yours, not before placing a tiny peck into your lips as he mumbles against them in the dark, “I love you.”
“I love you,” you hum back as you press your lips together one last time, finally letting his breathing lull you into sleep. 
The mattress is foreign, so is the pillow, and so are the scents that linger in the room. It’s colder than you’d usually have it and the blankets feel different on your skin. And despite the most foreign thing in the room, the one that has his arms and legs wrapped around you, the one that whispered his love for you into your skin before drifting off, you find yourself falling into a sleep that’s more blissful than any you’ve had in a very, very long time. 
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The sun is doing nothing to help itself against the tide of annoyance tht rises in your sleepy state. You’d get up and yank the curtains but can’t bring yourself to have the motivation to leave the soft mattress, simply bunching the blanket up to your face to block out the remnants of sun rays that invade the room. You’ve nearly lulled yourself back to sleep when you start registering noises coming from outside the bedroom walls, muffled yet familiar. 
Your brother is talking about something you can’t make out, Seokmin’s voice is undeniable despite passing through the folded layers of comforters around your head. You don’t doubt the presence of the sweat that’s probably already accumulated on your scalp. 
 There’s nothing that alarms you in the moment despite Seokmin’s yapping — that is until you hear a second voice.
You recognize it immediately as the sound of Mingyu’s talking, the words equally as muffled yet the intonation clear all the same. 
Kicking the sheets off of your overheating body, you squint as you open your eyes in a desperate attempt to reign yourself back to earth, recollections of the past twenty four hours hurtling back to you like a constant line of K.O’s. 
The gallery, the picture, the drive up to Mingyu’s place,the sex, the falling asleep in his arms. You sit up in Mingyu’s bed, clad in nothing but his own T-shirt as you realize your brother is downstairs talking to Mingyu, and you have no idea if he knows you're here. 
You realize very quickly that you’re trapped, being left with no other option than to remain in Mingyu’s bedroom until he comes back up to give you the clear, despite wanting to walk out to take the tiniest peek. You’re not sure what’s worse, getting caught or sitting in the growing pool of anxiety before Mingyu gets back. 
It’s a long, long twenty minutes, in which you’ve done just about everything to get to hear their conversation a bit better; or to distract yourself from the fact that it’s happening at all. Pressing your ear to the door before going back to make the bed. Freshening up in the bathroom before going back to jamming your eye into the keyhole (you aren’t sure why considering door faces a plain wall). You even hijacked a spare cup Mingyu had lying around the room to stick into the wall, hoping all those Mr. Bean cartoons hadn’t been lying to you. 
They were simply talking in a tone too low for your ears to catch (despite the Mr. Bean hack), and you resorted to scrolling on your phone to pass the remaining time. It’s catastrophic to say the least, when you’re met with a string of frantic messages from Nayeon as well as a couple missed calls from your brother. 
[Nayeon]: fuck [Nayeon]: i didnt see this [Nayeon]: he called this morning asking about you  [Nayeon]: i accidentally told him you werent here [Nayeon]: im so sorry where are you  [You]: its okay its my fault for texting so late [You]: i was at mingyus place [You]: ill tell you more later [Nayeon]: WHAT???
By the time Mingyu walks in, he’s mildly surprised to see you awake, pausing at the door as he takes in your huddled form. You sit up immediately, noting his still messy hair and the backwards sweatshirt he’s thrown on over his boxers. The question tumbles out of your lips before you can help it, “Was that Seokmin?”
“Good morning to you too,” he grumbles sarcastically, coming up on the bed to join you in your huddle fest. You’re a little embarrassed at the way you’ve greeted him first thing when he sees you, but his expression when he continues replaces it with something akin to fear. “And yeah, it was him.”
You want to ask him a follow up question, but you aren’t sure what to say, simply staring at him, hoping he’d get the hint and continue by himself. He does. 
“The idiot has a spare key so he just…” He trails off, rubbing his hands on his face,  “he just walked in straight to the room. Got the shock of his life, I suppose, ‘cause it woke me up while you kept snoring.” 
“He walked into the room?!” you nearly screech, hand clamped over mouth, horrified. “What did he say to you?”
Mingyu has the audacity to laugh, simply tugging you back down on the bed to hold you. You briefly wonder how he’s so casual about this. “There’s not really an expected reaction from someone when they find you half naked in bed with their sister.” 
The haphazardly shoved sweatshirt and no pants look was starting to make sense. “I heard you talking downstairs, what were you talking about?” 
“Nothing you have to worry your pretty little head about,” his lips graze the shell of your ear as he snuggles further into you. “He wants you home by seven though.” 
You throw your head back in a whine, “God, what am I gonna do?” 
“You’ll be fine, he didn’t smack me, he can’t possibly be that mad at you.” 
“What was he then, ecstatic?” you retort. 
“I mean,” his energy shifts a little. “I think he’s just a little hurt that he wasn’t told.” 
“So you’ve done your damage control and now I need to pray he doesn’t disown me.” 
“God, you’re being so negative,” he comments and you can’t help but round up on him.
“And you’re acting like you don’t care!”
He’s planting a fat kiss on your cheek at your outburst, coming in to coddle you even more. “I’m kidding, I just want you to relax, don’t be upset.” 
“Has he given you his verdict yet?” you ask quietly.
He sighs at the question and you can’t imagine his answer being any good. “Not yet, pretty up in the air about it.” 
When he sees you deflate even more in his arms, he continues, “I’m sure he’s gonna come around, he loves you too much to not. It’s just a matter of time while he gets to make sense of the situation, don’t worry about it.” 
“I hope so,” you reply.
“We might have wash his socks for the next five years once he does, but it’s okay.” 
You can’t help but snort at the prospect, “His feet are stinkier than the regular human’s, are you sure about that?”
He grins, “I’d do it for you.”
You push his face away, rolling your eyes at his attempt to be sappy. “You’re gonna keep me for five years?” 
His smile drops as you feel the atmosphere shift in the slightest, his presence moving impossibly closer to you. “I’m gonna keep you forever.”
Hearing it is enough to have you lurching forward, closing the final gap between you so you can give in to the urge to kiss him. He’s enthusiastic to give back, pulling your body to face him entirely as you mumble between kisses, “I love you.”
“I love you more.”
The rest of the day (once your anxiety’s calmed down, at least) is spent loitering around each other as you migrate around the house in random excess. He makes you breakfast, and you need to physically restrain him to stop feeding you every bite of pancake and bacon. You let him make your favourite for lunch though, after you finally admitted how much you truly liked his Chow Mein, going as far as to run to the store to grab the stuff he was missing. He returns with a bag of groceries, not missing an abnormal amount of moonpie value packs that he stashes in his cabinets because “you’re gonna be around all the time”. 
6:30 rolls around quicker than either of you would have liked, needing to wiggle out of Mingyu’s hold on his couch to change out of your half naked state. He continues to delay you another ten minutes as he refuses to open his car door to let you walk into the apartment building, leaning over the console to continue mumbling whines between your own consoling kisses. 
By the time you’re making the walk of shame up to your door, the pit of anxiety that began to brew this morning returns from its dormancy, no Mingyu here to help ease your nerves, Gripping your key tight in your hands, you brace yourself to jam and twist to finally end this matter once and for all (at least you hope you can). 
Seokmin is waiting on the couch for arrival like a parent waiting to catch their child in the act. He briefly glances over at you as you whisper a tame “Hi”, slipping off your shoes. He doesn’t reply as he merely grabs the remote to pause his show, casting a heightened awkward atmosphere at the silence that’s now engulfing the room. You tread carefully over to the couch, where Seokmin sits with his arms crossed. 
It takes one look at his face for you to suddenly want to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness. He didn’t look angry, and perhaps you would’ve preferred his aggression if it didn’t mean having to look at a hurt Seokmin. You sit in silence for a couple dramatic minutes, hoping he would start talking so you wouldn’t have to. Yet, when you realize you might have to say something anyway for fear of crushing under the pressure, you find yourself opening your mouth. 
“Are you upset?” Of course, he’s upset, you idiot.
“I just–” he starts, before sighing. “I just wish one of you would’ve told me what was going on.” 
“I know, I’m sorry,” you reply. “I didn’t want either of you to have an excuse to be upset with each other, so I just…”
“I get that it was a recent thing but I think I deserved as much to know what was happening when I wasn’t around.”
You wince as speaks, realizing he hasn’t caught on to the fact that this isn’t recent at all — for you at least. “Um, about that…”
“What? There’s more?” he scoffs. 
“I, uh…I’ve liked him since like fifth grade—” He’s immediately jaw dropped, eyes bulged, taking a sharp breath. “But! In my defense, it was really obvious—it’s honestly your fault for not noticing.”
‘My–My fault?!” he sputters. “That’s like, forever, and you told me nothing? Mingyu told me this was recent, why did he lie?” 
“He didn’t, nothing happened till last night, I swear.” You cringe at what you’re entailing. “It was just me that liked him for that long, he figured it out pretty early on but…”
“He’s finally reciprocating now?” he suggests, almost sarcastically. 
“Yeah,” you breathe out lightly. 
“This is insane,” he blows out a breath of air, massaging his temples. 
“I’m not being stupid about him,” you mutter lowly, “This isn’t some puppy dog crush, especially not after so long.” 
He’s silent. 
“I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to think I’m jumping into this blind, especially for what it means for you too.” 
No response. 
“I’m sorry that you had to find out like this, it’s really not how I wanted it to go.” And when you’re met with even more silence, you find yourself continuing. “Please, talk to me. Cuss me out if you want, I’d honestly rather you yell at me.”
Seokmin sighs for the near hundredth time, finally looking like he might say something. “I want you to listen to me very carefully.”  
The hairs on the back of your neck stand up, mind immediately going to the worst. Was he going to ask you to break up with him?
“I’m gonna choose to trust the both of you on this,” he starts, and you nearly melt into the cushions, “It’s your life, you can date whoever you want. And…I guess Mingyu is better than someone else. Probably uses bad hair gel though.” 
You’re catapulting yourself off the couch at the sound of that, throwing yourself onto an unassuming Seokmin. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 
“OW! Okay! Geez, get off,” he grumbles as he finally stops wrestling you to let go of him, hugging you back as you squeeze his shoulders tight. 
“I promise I won’t keep anything like this from you again.” 
“You better not,” he huffs as you let go of him, “Don’t think this means you’re forgiven. You still have a lot to tell me.” 
“I promise I won’t leave out a thing.”
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The following weeks are near bliss, following your very loud confrontation with Nayeon when she gets back from her summer vacation, her screams at every plot turn having you praying for her neighbors. You doubt she believed you despite everything, not until she physically sees Mingyu come in one day, making a beeline to peck you on the lips before greeting anyone else. Her dropped jaw was very telling. 
Even now, as Mingyu sports the title of the lame alumnus that still hangs around campus as he grips your hand, walking through the grass, the double takes you’re receiving seem to be traveling quite fast. You wouldn’t necessarily blame them considering the trickier than usual dynamic you sport due to your brother (and you guess due to his reputation as well). 
But you also knew they’d be quick to die out as the newer batches of students come flying in — Mingyu will soon become a very well kept secret, in one way if not the other. 
His neighbors, however, must be wishing he had the same sentiment as well, considering the absolutely foul noises that are coming from his apartment. 
You’re learning very quickly that Mingyu’s innocent touchiness can turn into something of the opposite at any given time, exhibit A being now as you try your damn hardest to muffle the sounds coming out of your mouth as Mingyu works his own mouth on your cunt. The knees over his shoulders are shivering from the expense, fingers pumping into your hole as he rubbed a particular spot with his tongue that had you gripping onto his hair tight. 
As much as Mingyu loves to hear you, you find his other hand being brought up to place two fingers in your mouth for you as the perfect pacifier, sounds limiting extensively. 
By the time you’re coming undone, sprawled on his couch like you just ran a marathon, you’re quick to realize that he has no intention of letting you have a breather. It takes one shove for him to pull his pulsing length out of his pants, tip pushing into your still sopping hole as he invited all of him inside you. 
You’ll never forget the first time Mingyu fucked you raw, right after you told him he had the green light after taking your birth control pills. It was magic, you’ve never seen him this vocal as he finished inside you nearly four times in a single night. His moans remain loud even still, as he brings your thighs to press over your chest, basically folding you in half. The mere sound of your wetness as he pumps in and out of you is enough to have you nearly careening over the edge, especially when you feel a desperate hand reach out to rub fast circles on your clit. 
You throw your head back as you cum for the second time, pulsing around him in a grip Mingyu can’t believe has the ability to become tighter. It’s enough for him though, as he leans his forehead against your chest as he releases himself inside you. 
He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of it, watching you filled to the brim with his cum, even as it drips onto the blankets you’ve laid down below. He has half a mind to stuff the liquid back inside you, but fears you’re tired enough, the overstimulation too much for you. 
By the time you’ve cleaned up and resumed the movie you should’ve been done with hours ago, cuddled impossibly close to him, you find yourself remembering something quite out of the blue.
“Hey, not that I really care anymore,” you start, “But who were the guys you were talking to that day? From the party.”
“Stopped hanging out with them ages ago,” Mingyu scoffs, face souring at the mention of them. “I mean, it was me who said all that bullshit, but they weren’t exactly good influences either. Learned that pretty quick.”
“Oh,” you reply simply, letting your head fall back onto his chest.
He doesn’t seem to be having any of it, grabbing your chin to have you face him. “I’m still really sorry about that. I don’t care if you chase my tail for another fifty years, it’ll always be adorable.”
“Forgave you a long time ago, but I think I have a condition now.” 
He quirks a brow at your words. “What does her Highness ask of me?”
“That you chase my tail for another fifteen to make up for all the running I’ve done.” 
He’s laughing at that, agreeing to your condition as places loving smooches all over your face. “Consider it done.”
It’s later on in the night, both of you huddled in ratty hoodies and mismatched slippers, plastic bag crinkling along Mingyu’s arm as you giggle about something he said. You’re enjoying your fudgsicle in the peace and serenity of the 1 AM hour, making your trek home after raiding the corner store down the block. Mingyu suddenly halts in his tracks as he sees a particularly pretty set of flowers, illuminated by the fluorescent street lights. 
“Babe, babe, stand here let me take a picture of you.”
“What?” you frown, holding up your stick of iced chocolate. “I’m not done yet.”
You watch as he grabs the melting popsicle from your hand downing the entire thing in one go as you watch him, hand still outstretched and jaw dropped. “Mingyu, you bitch!”
He only smiles as he mulls the chocolate in his mouth, words basically gibberish, “‘ere’s more in the ba’, now go stan'!” 
You huff as you trudge to where he was asking you to pose, throwing a couple peace signs to satiate the home video urges in him so you could rip open your second fudgsicle. 
“Wait! You got a little chocolate on your mouth.” he announces, and you stick your tongue out to lick past the remnants of the sweetness. “No— wait.”
He walks over to you as your still trying to find the spot you missed, unassuming as he swings into your face to kiss the remaining off. “Oh, nevermind, it was nothing.” 
You push him off as heat crawls up your face, feigning annoyance at his antics. You decide to forgive him when rips open another fudgsicle for you, offering it with both hands, promising to not steal a single lick. You believe him, snatching the stick from him as you continue your trek home. 
It’s not until he’s attempting to send you the pictures he just took to your phone so you could post them (which, with the way you looked, fat chance) that he notices something in your albums. 
“Oh, are these grad photos?” he asks as he clicks the album open.
“Mhm,” you hum not paying too much attention as you walked and ate. 
“Why’s there only one picture here?” he asks as he pulls up to find nothing more left to load. 
It’s only then that you bring your full attention to your phone in his hand as you realize what picture he’s talking about, “Oh god, don’t look at that one.”
He does the obvious thing and opens it anyway, a louder than necessary “aw” coming out his mouth. “Why do you look like I’m about to eat you?” 
“It felt like it!” you whine, remembering the moment clear as day. “They kept pestering me to take a picture with you too, I was tryna book it out of there at first chance.” 
He giggles as he zooms into the photo, “I’m sending this to myself.”
You groan loudly at the thought, “God, just delete it, leave it alone.”
He tucks the phone into himself further, not letting you grab it. “No, you’re not deleting it. Why do you have it tucked into a separate folder if you hate it so much.”
He’s got you there, you realize quickly, and he reigns in his victory as he watches you grimace at the phone slightly, adding on, “it has a lot of feelings attached to it, I get it. But look, we can attach new feelings to it, now you’ll think about right now the next time you see it.”
“Think about you hijacking my fudgsicles? I think I prefer heartbreak,” you say, bringing your half eaten pop closer to your body in case he tries anything. 
You’re deemed correct when he replies, motioning towards your concealed treat, “Careful, I can still pounce when you’re not looking.” 
Shoving your hands into the swinging bag hanging on Mingyu’s arm, you bring out a thing of sausage and shove it towards him, “You leave me and my fudgsicle alone, go be lousy and suck on this or whatever.”
“You’d know alot about that, wouldn’t you?” he notes casually, grabbing the sausage anyway as he unwraps it to take a bite. 
It takes you a second to realize what he’s talking about while he stares at you with a mischievous expression, coming to shove him when the innuendo finally registers in your head. You do the opposite this time, pointing the melting chocolate toward him instead, threatening to smear it all over his white hoodie. 
He laughs at the sight, disarming you by simply moving your wrist away, coming to kiss you on the mouth hard regardless of your annoyed expression. 
“Love ya’” he giggles. 
“Hm.”
“What, hm? Say it back.”
You pretend to wonder, “I don’t think so.”
“Say it!” he groans, “Say it, say it!” 
You manage to wriggle out of his hold, booking it before he realises what’s happening. 
“Hey!” 
Your both probably waking up the entire neighborhood with how loud you’re yelling and laughing, and even when he manages to tackle you down on somebody’s lawn, coaxing the words out of you with borderline violence, you still manage to smile, thanking your lucky stars that you got what you wanted after all. 
“What’re you thinking about?” he asks with an undertone. 
“Thanking my stars they led me to you,” you reply. 
“More like the other way around. Needed the fattest fucking star to realize what was in front of me all along,” he jests himself. 
It sparks a laugh out of you. “I love you.”
“And I love you.”
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lastoneout · 2 months
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Okay I'm finally sitting down to properly watch the PJO series so here's an episode-by-episode live blog I guess. (Fair warning, I haven't read the books since I was a teenager, I am a smidge of an apologist for the films, and my favorite adaptation so far has been the musical.)
Episode One:
All of the actors are doing a really good job, I especially like Sally.
The costume design for both the monsters and the humans is pretty killer. I want Percy's sweater.
I also love the little seaside cabin and want to live there!!!
This is such a mild gripe BUT as someone with dyslexia I wish there was a better way to visually depict it without like, doing the swapping letters thing cuz that's just not what it's actually like at all.
Gabe maybe feels a little too funny. Like I'm supposed to hate him and think it's justified that he deserves to be turned into stone at the end, this version of him is really.....toned down, and his banter with Percy and Sally was fun to watch. I should hate him, but really he just came across as unpleasant. Less abusive asshole and more "old married couple who share interests but can't communicate without shouting" you know?
Loved Grover's little "I'm 24 actually" lmao that was great.
Not a fan of Percy immediately recognizing the Minotaur within a millisecond of it appearing before the audience even got a good look at it. Like, I just sat there thinking "how can he even see it?" rather than feeling scared of a big monster barreling at them.
The action is uh....fine? Feels a little lackluster. Or kinda....divorced from the rest of the show weirdly?? Idk it makes me feel like I'm watching a movie of a movie if that makes sense?? But we'll see where they go with it. (I know banter during a fight isn't realistic and people make fun of Marvel for it, but like...it helps to have at least a little talking. We don't wanna be Man of Steel.)
I feel like there's been a few "slightly out of sync ADR" moments but they weren't too distracting.
Pacing into Sally saying goodbye felt a little long, kinda took the shock of her dying out of the scene, but the actress REALLY sold all the emotional beats so I'll forgive it.
I LOVE the credits sequence!!! Reminds me of the designs on that one box set of the books in a really cool way.
Episode Two:
Oh yes the ugly ass neon orange shirts are here bless!
FUCK YES THAT'S DIONYSUS BAYBEEE!! My ONLY note is that he def could have turned up the energy a little, but that's probably just bcs I love how loud and unpleasant he is in the musical and I also know how unhinged this actor can be.
Chiron is such a delight <3
I like the cabins too, way better than how I imagined them as a kid reading the books lol
Oh, I can see why the new fans fell for Luke so hard.
Grover assuming a human being squished would be like an old banana is very funny. Felt very book-humor in a good way.
Clarisse!!
Oh damn actual disabled half-bloods, very cool!
Minor but I can't actually tell what Percy did wrong with the bow? Weird editing I guess.
Aside from that I actually love a good "fuck up" montage, I honestly wish it were a little longer.
Probably doesn't matter but I don't get having them burn the food after they've started eating? I thought that was a before you sit down type thing.
Percy burning the blue candy to try to talk to his mom was sweet tho T_T
"real friends" hahahaha.....yeah.......about Luke.......
yay! hazing!
Oh I love Annabeth already >:D
Thalia.....is pronounced differently than I thought....?
(I'm sorry I'm too much of a fan of 'Tree on the Hill' for this exposition dump. That shit hits harder when coming from Grover.)
Percy giving Annabeth the "actually I suck and my self esteem is riding on this so like pls don't ask me to do anything hard T_T" talk is just, so good lmao
ofc he doesn't know what's going on Annabeth you didn't tell him anything
Okay the action is a lot better when it's between the actual characters and doesn't involve a 3D monster, though I still had trouble following all the hits Percy was taking.
Oooh I can see why people did so much art of Percy being claimed that was a good shot.
FUCK YEAH TELL HIM YOU'RE SALLY JACKSON'S SON
(I hope they kept the Oracle in the attic...)
Okay I have to go do some things and then I'll be back for more!
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nyxqueenofshadows · 4 months
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yakuza 3 (sort of) done! thoughts under the cut cos they got quite long. they're a lot more coherent than my kiwami 2 ones cos i made them along the way rather than in a feverish mess at the end, though ofc they contain spoilers for 3 and ig gaiden??
overall thoughts, it's messy and weird and makes some Choices, but it's not a bad game, and the people who write it off as being shit are, imho, wrong. once i got into it i liked it, it introduced some great characters, had some really fun moments, and i'm gonna miss the morning glory kids (yes even riona).
if you're looking at this like when did you change the difficulty??? the bit where you have to run away from the police at millenium tower, fuck that bit so hard, none of the other chases gave me trouble but that one ughhhhh
also i neglected haruka i'm sorry
the combat is harder and more tedious, and i can see why it puts people off, but i find pulling off the combos and counters way more satisfying as a result. like, i tiger dropped lau ka long to finish that fight and it felt *so* good, way more than ending fights with heat actions or whatever has done in previous games. having said that the blocking oh jesus christ the BLOCKING
it’s the place we get the most on kashiwagi pre-y0 especially kiryu’s opinion of him (including the iconic lines about reimen) so you can’t knock it for that.
rikiya buddy i love you but wtf was that substory with natsumi. actually why is he suddenly a dick in all of his side content???? (i know he’s confrontational and that’s just how he is but idk, smth about how he is in the side content feels different). he’s rude to utabori to his face (despite kiryu repeatedly telling him not to), when he meets natsumi again he’s like yo i kept this necklace why are you in tokyo you don’t fit in here come back to okinawa with me, like ????? she clearly has a life she’s built up there (not a good one, i don’t think, but still) and they might have known each other when they were kids but we never get her side of the story on that, only rikiya’s. idk. it’s one of the first things he says to her, that’s a neon red flag if ever i’ve seen one.
also also during that entire scene in asia, kiryu watches rikiya’s reaction to the dancing the *entire* time. is that a bug of how conversations work or was that a deliberate choice or what
MACK buddy why aren't you in this game more
we had a second majima-no-nii-san! from hamazaki of all people! tho having said that i think he was being sardonic. like, he never says it again, and is generally kind of like that. he’ll use polite forms but he’s never being *polite*. lowkey obsessed with his hand on majima’s shoulder in that scene and what it says about his character and their relationship up to that point and how majima has ended up in this kind of position *again*. kiryu leaving - as it always does - fucked so many people over it’s not even funny.
some of the translations bother me. as an english script it’s for the most part pretty coherent and works well enough on its own, but in combination with the japanese it sometimes deviates in ways that change character moments or even just feel weird. like the addition of the puns in the seven mysteries substories is fun, very ace attorney, but sometimes it feels like they step too far (‘getting tight in your britches!’ for ビビった like ???? even ignoring the japanese what is that supposed to meannnnn)
specific moments i was thinking of were the really early line where taichi is like 晩ごはんまだぁ? and they add in an unnecessary ‘i thought curry was supposed to be easy!’ in the english which then undermines later when they all sit down to eat and are like カレーだ! like they didn’t actually know what was for dinner. another one is when kiryu leaves rikiya behind in okinawa and tells haruka that he can’t let him come (in various ways, three times). in the english they shake it up a bit by adding ‘it’s my burden to bear’ WHICH i’ll fully admit flows better and is a very kiryu thing to say but i think it shifts the tone of that scene from worry to responsibility? in a way that doesn’t feel quite right in context of the story as a whole. last one where mine calls kiryu a coward when he’s leaving after showing whatever was left of kanda in that box. again, it flows better and lines up with kiryu’s behaviour in later games but doesn’t feel quite right and i think it changes the point mine was trying to make there. there's also the minefield about how mine expresses his feelings about daigo right at the end. BUT i’m a learner this isn’t my job what do i know. they worked hard and faults aside it’s a fun read and they also had to deal with that fuck-awful section of exposition from the politician so no blame here. it’s not like the other games don’t have this, it just feels especially weird in this one to me.
i loved the little wrestling bit. it’s not perfect but it has the kind of heart and good intentions that makes those sections (and yakuza 3 as a whole) really enjoyable for me.
objectively very funny that the text you get congratulating you on all the revelations is from kaoru, and that she’s like hey your blog was very funny, go see my friend bob utsunomiya for your reward. i know it’s mostly game mechanics to make it make sense but is it not the funniest thing to imagine a. that kaoru knows a bob utsunomiya (how did they meet??? why???) and b. that on her breaks between Mystery Police Stuff she’s refreshing kiryu’s blog like what dumb shit is this idiot up to now asdfghjkl tbf his blog can’t be hard to find, it’s literally ‘day in the life of the dragon of dojima’ it’s a miracle he gets anything done ever with how bad he is at being on the downlow
standing on the morning glory beach, especially in the evening/at night and looking up at the sky while listening to the waves roll in is so calming, the first time i got to do it i stayed there for like ten minutes just chilling
some of the animation is genuinely really really good, like saki’s eyes shaking in fear or kiryu’s cheek twitch when he finds out about morning glory, or mine on finding out daigo's alive. idk how much is the work of the remaster and how much was originally there but i really like it
the last three chapters are such whiplash cos it’s like sad, sad, very sad, bulls! sad, very very sad, sad, jet! thumbs up! sad, sad, ANGRY, there is no change in the plan, sad, sad, on the roof, sad, sad, MACHO, things are gonna be fine! oh wait sad sa- please mr richardson they’re trying to have a moment -d sad sad surprise! murder! surprise! alive! done. you know?
idk if i was just hormonal or emotional but saki calling out to nakahara really got to me for some reason. her first word after years of silence was ‘dad’, and that hit me in a way i wasn’t expecting even tho i knew it was coming.
show us the akimoto/mizuki kiss, cowards
that last section was really fun to play for me (aside from that first little bit going up the first couple of floors of the hospital), the music’s great, the combat had (mostly) good pacing, the fights felt challenging in a good way, yeah i was all for it! reinforced for me how much i like mine as a character and wish we’d got to see more of him (but hey, look, if andre richardson survived the fall...?). like, the moment he realises daigo is still alive - and that he was about to kill the man he love- ahem sorry admired, so much - is seared into my brain.
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lmskitty · 3 months
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Hi again......If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....
Hi!!!
Tricky!
1. Jujutsu Kaisen
2. Gorillaz
3. Sailor Moon
4. Outlast
5. The Last Binding Series by Freya Marske
6. Neon Genesis Evangelion
7. FMA Brotherhood
8. The Magnus Archives
9. Fake (manga series)
10. Digimon
1. It brought me joy and fandom and friendship again and made me feel like myself after a very long time. I know the narrative can be traumatic but it also has these incredible moments that just feel you with awe (like Todo turning up to help Yuji fight or seeing Gojo do hollow purple for the first time) it just reminded me of everything I love about anime.
2. My first real fandom, the first thing I wrote proper fanfiction for. The lore and the music and the animation just amazed me when I saw it when I was 11 and I've not been happy with decisions they've made recently (overpriced merch in a cost of living crisis, NFTs to celebrate Plastic Beach?!?) I'll still always love them and be excited for new content.
3. First anime love, first time seeing a relationship with two women helping me to identify as bi (now I'd say pan) I grew up believing that to be a strong woman you had to disregard femininity and seeing Usagi be the strongest with her bunny drawings and her focus on friendship and love just rewired my brain.
4. I love horror, I was brought up with it but for a very long time nothing has scared me and I found horror media repetitive. Outlast genuinely scared me and I was SO happy and I love reading the character notes and comics.
5. I've talked about this series a bunch but A Marvellous Light was the first book I'd read in years that made me cry and just stayed in my head for ages. Everything I'd loved about harry potter but done properly.
6. I was at a sleepover at a friend's and someone stuck this on and everyone was talking and I was just glued to the screen because what the FUCK WAS THIS?!?!? I've watched it since with my husband and it still hits me so hard every time. It's such a powerful portrayal of depression and nihilism and how relationships can fuck you up. It's beautiful and I think it's one of the best anime's of all time.
7. The opposite of neon Genesis lol. Love and family and forgiveness and what it means to sacrifice for the people you care about. Devoured brotherhood with my husband and we were both in tears by the end of it. I'd also been told I couldn't have kids and we had struggled with a miscarriage and Izumi and Sig just hit me so hard. (I have a bub now tho it came out ok in the end) but the characters still feel so real and there's so many amazing moments.
8. I listened to all of this and played Minecraft with my husband till like 6 am on weekends. We would discuss at length our theories and it just holds a special place in my heart. It's perfect horror and John and Martin's relationship just means a lot to me. I related a LOT to Martin and loved the series and I've super been enjoying the Magnus Protocol too! Also that first fucking recording of Nikola Orsinov?!?!? We both sat still staring at each other genuinely freaked the fuck out and we still quote it at each other! "I mean, you can if you really want to, but you’re not going to like it." CHILLS EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!
9. I read a lot of BL manga with my friends (*old lady voice* back in my day we called it Yaoi!!!) And so many of them had terrible tropes and big hands. This was the first one I ever read that I still adore that had an amazing love story and plot. It was revolutionary to see an LGBTQ story not just about them being gay or coming out but it had real detective cases and murders etc and I still wish we could get a tv show of it.
10. When Gojo talked about Digimon I fell even further in love. It's the fucking best. I wanted to be Mimi so BAD as a kid my mum made me a Halloween costume of her and I thought I was so cool. My next tattoo is gonna be Lilymon. I grew up with it in the dub and it established my sense of humour for better or worse. The Digimon film is still my comfort film of choice. Matt was such a big crush I had when I was little and I wrote little stories about being one of the digidestined.
Those are my top 10!!!!
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wibble-wobbegong · 1 year
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ok. wibble. hi. hello. i am humbly asking for ur thoughts on gnc outfits for byler. 
first we have mike:
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i was thinking abt taking these and maybe making the pants a bit more fun w patches or patterns but keeping it pretty similar to the refs otherwise. tho w that last one the outfit just feels SO mike to me,, bookbag included, i would keep it p much the same as the ref
now for will:
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i will b honest it was significantly harder to find good refs that i think have the right vibes but i like these ones a lot. maybe w/o the tie tho? at least w the last one. but then again thats where ur opinion would come in 2 help guide me lol. it definitely gives influenced by jonathan vibes w the first one, like hes a bit more grunge than canon and i think that tracks personally but i also think he would definitely keep that bright colour palette that he has most of the time so i would throw in some bright striped shirts and the like.
i would show u more but alas the 10 image cap will not allow it </3
sorry if this is weird and out of the blue but u got me thinking and i ended up scrolling thru pinterest for probably a good 30-45 minutes afterwards
ok, so for mike i really like that style of shirt!! colorwise, i tend to stick to things he wore in S1 but in an edgier style. i can’t add images but he wears emerald greens, reds that are like a shade lighter than what you’d imagine for a typical dark red, deep navys, even some dampened yellows against black or white. although i can see him experimenting with brighter things, my analysis brain forces me to face the fact that mike wearing bright colors is a major indication that he’s not being himself. brightness seems to be something he associates with normalcy, but he’s still expressive with his darker color palette. in s2, he’s heavy on hiding himself under jackets, and we know he was dealing with intense survivor’s guilt and depression
basically, for mike, i like the fits but i’d suggest going for a darker palette if you’re going for accurate characterization and, exactly as you said, throwing in some punk elements
as for will, i struggled SO much with trying to figure out the style i wanted for him. on one hand, will has a history with wearing tighter fitting clothes over the past two seasons and generally wearing very form fitting things and i feel like that fits really well with denim skirts but i also had a few concepts for looser, longer skirts because i think of his will the wise costume which is very loose and, although it isnt swishy, it gives him room to make that effect.
i think, if will were to get to the place where he confidently wears skirts, he’d wear more stylized things reminiscent of his outfits in s3 and the first two outfits from s4. long skirts with artistic patterns he admired that he can swoosh around or shorter skirts that fit his form well are where i generally find myself thinking because skirts have so much more potential as an art form than men’s pants and shorts at the time did, at least regarding things he could wear casually.
in general, i don’t see will wearing a whole lot of baggy stuff if he has a choice. he wore loose stuff a lot in the first two seasons, though i imagine that was moreso a result of wearing jonathan’s old stuff and being kinda scrawny. in s3, the stuff he’s wearing most likely isn’t jonathan’s, even more so in s4 because we know the byers have the money for will to pick out his own clothes. even the jacket he wears in the st experience is more tightly fit
and, with will, he does definitely seem to lean int brighter colors a little bit more. not neon by any means, but definitely more eye catching than mike and his more muted colors still lean towards brightness. honestly, i dont think we ever see will choosing to wear anything particularly dark, maybe a little in s2, but that was also the Horrors Season so.
will is always tough for me because i havent studied him like i’ve studied mike, but my rule of thumb is form fitting and lighter/brighter colors unless you’re intentionally trying to break him out of that typical zone and explore new possibilities with his character
obviously that’s just how i perceive the both of them, but if you think those outfits fuck then draw them For Sure. never too much gnc byler in the world
definitely not weird!!! this was actually kinda nice. very different from my usual asks but in a good way :)
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neon-green-reagent · 11 months
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Vampire Films That Suck My Blood
But don’t SUCK. You know? What I mean? They’re good. Anyway. 
Let’s start with the super obvious ones you’ve probably seen. And if you haven’t, go see them, they’re classics. Near Dark (my personal favorite), The Lost Boys, Interview With The Vampire, Horror of Dracula (Hammer), ‘Salem’s Lot, Blacula, From Dusk Till Dawn, Let The Right One In, and Fright Night, by which I mean the one from the 80s. Now we can get into some deeper cuts. 
Night Owl | Filmed in black and white and set against the backdrop of the New York nightclub scene of the early 90s, this one is OOPS ALL VIBES. It’s full of house music and brutal murders. One of those films that feels intensely gay despite its best efforts to be straight. Very moody and arthouse. Obviously I recommend the hell out of this for a very specific crowd of people.
Pale Blood | What a nutso concept. A human is running around killing people in the style of a vampire. So a real vampire shows up to stop him. With Wings Hauser being super unhinged, as he tends to do. Lots of neon lighting that makes it all extremely 80s. And a neat little turn at the end that gives it a satisfying twist. 
Bliss | Vampirism as addiction. It’s been said, but this isn’t just about having an insatiable need. It’s about getting so goddamn high that you destroy everything around you and awaken from being blackout destructive and realize you’re ruining your own life. Pretty intense stuff. Meaning it’s very bloody and wild. It goes the extra mile, for certain. The main character is a painter, so there is also a super gorgeous painting that she creates in her very high moments that I wish I could have on my wall. 
The Night Flier | An adaptation of a Stephen King short story starring Miguel Ferrer, which I personally feel should be recommendation enough. But I’ll gladly keep going. Ferrer plays a tabloid journalist who is chasing after a serial killer who thinks he’s a vampire. THINKS, right? He just THINKS he is? Well, the deeper he goes, the more it looks like he has a real one on his hands. And he’s so fucking cynical that he’s probably going to stare into the abyss and the abyss will stare right back. 
30 Days of Night | Hey, I just recently rewatched this one. It still slaps. In Alaska, there are periods during the year where the sun doesn’t rise at all. In this case, a bunch of vampires are like SWEET. And go there and absolutely body slam everyone in town. A handful of survivors are left trying to defend themselves against these superhuman creatures that are... just the scariest looking fucking things. It looks like if a human were crossbred with a shark. What a LOOK. There are so many memorable and standout moments in this movie. Truly just watch it. 
Fright Night Part 2 | We all know the first movie. But the sequel tho. DAT SEQUEL. The big draw being Jerry’s sister Regine and her entourage of absolute characters that follow her everywhere. They’re out for revenge for the death of her brother, and suddenly the tables are turned. Charley becomes the one that can’t resist the vampire’s charms, and Regine is laughing all the way to the blood bank. She’s a queen. 
Vamp | Another intensely memorable and awesome female vampire. Grace Jones dominates the screen here as Katrina. A vampire stripper who kills when she mates. She for sure steals every scene she’s in, but the movie is also bombastically neon 80s with the dumbest and most fun sense of humor. It’s a charming movie with an amazing villainess. 
The Hunger | AND ANOTHER! Sorry for being so gay, but here’s a lesbian vampire movie. Miriam Blaylock is a vampire looking for love. And she both cares and doesn’t if that means eventually keeping your desiccated, still alive body in a box somewhere down the line. She’s a complicated lady. This was beautifully shot, very dream-like, and also stars David Bowie for some extra gay. 
Dracula (1979) | Genuinely my favorite version of Dracula. It was based off of a stage play version. Which means all the names are reversed and nothing lines up with the book, but Dracula just seems fated to be adapted very loosely. Frank Langella swaggers rather moodily through the piece, melting every woman he passes with a look. I like this take, that Dracula is just a Chad that no one can possibly outdo because no one is good looking enough to stop him. It’s all rather romantic and swoony while also featuring one of the most terrifying ghouls in cinema history. 
The Forsaken | Vampirism as an STD. If you’re bitten, you’ll battle daily with the virus that’s trying to consume you. Which makes the movie coded extremely queer, which is very fun for everyone, because it thankfully doesn’t stop there. The bad guys are super flamboyant and fun. The good guys are getting a little too involved with each other and sort of ignoring the girl sitting between them. And it makes one wish they could’ve just made it as gay as they wanted to, but the subtext is still very fun. It’s also action packed and exciting. Think 2001 version of Near Dark. 
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risu5waffles · 11 months
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i have no Ten jokes today, sorry
So many things to do, v. busy squirrel, me. i suppose these will fall on Fridays every now and then, but, really...
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Bright and cheerfull, if maybe a bit on the kludgy side of things. i've always been a fan of chonky, sticker cut materials wiv a bit of wobble on them, which seems like a goofy, tiny thing to point out, but i feel like it really brings the vibe of LBP1. Like the level is actually put together from bits and bobs lying around. i almost prefer that that a more perfect "this is a place" environments.
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This level is really pretty in places, but gosh is it just all over the map. You can tell that it was updated wiv each new game, and additions were made wivout much consideration to how they would fit into the feel and flow of the existing level. Still, when a scene works, it really does work well.
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We talked about this one last week, and it is still so, so good. Right up there wiv Neon Dimension: Rush as one of my favourite racers.
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i was listening to someone go through Saya No Uta's story while i was playing this, and wow, that game is sure a whole kind of mess. Also, that was an Urobuchi jam? i honestly had no idea. This level is... well, it's also a mess. Not in the same way Saya No Uta is; it's just early LBP1 kludgy. i do like it for that, but beyond that, there's not much to it. The multistage boss was a nice touch, tho'. i almost (almost) miss bosses in people's levels. When they were done right (which is not always the same as done well), they could have a lot of charm to them.
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Ahhhhhhhhh! i fucked up the title card! And the overlay! It's Flourishing Islets, not Floating Islets. i am the worst archivist, and need to crawl into a very deep hole somewhere. Maybe if i could find a hole that had a whole hole inside of it, that would do. The level is actually pretty nice tho'. Good environment, decent gameplay. Level_Tester says it's unfinished, but honestly, it's a lot better done than any number of other levels i've played. It just needs a bit of falling action and a nice wrap-up.
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i really couldn't bring myself to get into this one in the end. It's overlong and overstuffed, even if i did like the lumberjacks. i think a big part of it was the pseudo-Skulldozer bit at the end. Making the player re-do the entire sequence (wiv cutscene!) everytime they die is really asking a lot. Especially right at the end of such a chonky feeling level. i appreciate where the creator was going, but i feel no need to take the trip a second time.
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This is another one that just feels like it goes on forever. Like, it's cute. Not, perhaps Miami, but very neon. It's definitely a level. But it feels more like a collection of poorly playtested bits?
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i actually wound up mostly liking this one? The presentation is pretty pants, but it does a decent enough job getting the feel of the Canyons. The invisible walls in the Serpent Shrine sequence were pretty uncalled for, tho'. The cameras could have done wiv some tightening as well. It was really hard to tell where the hitboxes (hurboxes?) on the spikes were in relation to me, because of how the cameras were angled. It's why i ended up just stickering the walls in the end to mark out safe zones.
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For all the goofiness here, this really is a nice level. i like how it builds itself out as you go along. That's always something i've liked seeing levels do, and is one of the things that really made me cotton to Chronos' levels before we really knew each other. Since this was done in LBP1, there're all kinds of wonky physics interactions, so the level can be broken pretty easily if you're not careful. It's funny, but the one i showed in that preview video the other week actually has a workaround, so it's pretty clear even the creator knew things could go sideways. i kinda love that?
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Yooo... we just talked about this five minutes ago. Are you telling me you can't remember 5minutes ago? Are you me? Could you pay the rent this month?
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Right. That's another ten down, and i super have to run. Later Slaters! Love ya! Stay safe!
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faarkas · 2 years
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4, 12, 27, 35 + verde/takemura!!!
leah i love u sooo much im so sorry that u’ve opened pandoras fucking box i CANNOT shut up about their wedding if u can even call it that bc it’s actually the most ridiculous shit ever. anyway. madness and rambling under the cut :)
4 - First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?
it was absolutely not love at first sight ASUEKFKSN He was pretty disgusted with her because he thought that she killed his boss and sort of complicated toxic father figure-esque situation, she had been shot in the head and thought he was going to finish her off, the girlies were not happy with each other. She did think he was very handsome tho. Go queen give us everything. she is nothing if not thirsty always .
Though I do wonder if he actually thought that or knew off the bat that yorino/bu did it 🤔 HA GUESS WHO NEEDS TO REPLAY MY FAVOURITE PART OF THE GAME BC I HAVE SUCH A SHITTY MEMORY and i just haven’t played it in a long time
Anyway she still stole from them and he was grieving so I just don’t think he was too happy with her period but obviously things change as they get to know each other :)
12 - Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?
OK SO HEHE. There was barely a proposal honestly it was more of them sitting on the couch relaxing and enjoying each other’s company when he was like (bashfully) “I’m fighting an impulse” and verde’s like 👁👁⁉️ AND THEN HES LIKE “I think we should get married.” (all of this rough dialogue not actually the real dialogue. u get the gist.) and verdes like 👁👁‼️ yeah let’s go get fucking married go go go
and then that same night they leave, verde gets a dress bc she wants a nice dress tyvm, and they end up going to some 24hr neon everything elvis (or maybe illegal kerry) impersonator style chapels and elope. :) And after they end up in some greasy diner for their first meal as a married couple bc it’s the wee hours of the morning at that point and it’s the only place open eating greasy ass diner food. it’s then that the adrenaline starts to wear off a little and he starts to feel a little regretful that he didn’t give her the full experience that he should have but she’s just sitting across from him in their booth eating fries, uncaring that the hem of her awfully expensive dress is getting filthy, looking at him like he’s the only man in the world that I think it quells that pretty quick. I don’t think verde would really want a huge traditional wedding anyway she’s too private for all that. She does get into a lil bit of trouble with Val and the gang for it later tho. (val later when she gets roped into a huge italian wedding like can u bottle whatever made ur man just want to elope and give it to me please for the love of god)
Honestly I don’t think they really have a honeymoon. Maybe a little later on but i think it’s mostly business as usual. them being married doesn’t really change things a lot but I think they do feel even closer than they did before. commitment rly does look good on them tbh. Tho I can see them renewing their vows at some point
27 - Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up?
slap my ass and call me a romantic that never wants to deal with it myself AHAJFKFJ BUT I JUST DONT DO TRAGEDY MOST OF THE TIME. Tho I do struggle to just see them growing old in more of the sense that they’re both mercenary types and even if they get out of it to move into more. civilian/normal work they just have so many enemies that could pop up in whenever but FROM WHAT I’VE SORTED SO FAR YES they stay together for as long as they’re alive. Hopefully they grow old together.
And they do have kids :) I think the funniest thing for them is the way they catch baby fever after hanging out with val and lorenzo’s newborns twins. But it isn’t super easy for verde after all the shit her poor body has been through and continues to go through that after some failed attempts and trauma they end up adopting two and then they end up having one or maybe two ~miracle~ biological kids on accident so. they end up with a well rounded family. :) Parenthood also looks good on them. They have the range.
35 - Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw?
They’re good for each other. They make each other feel safe, she gets to eat proper meals, he has a space with her where he can just be without the constant vigilance and games that living within arasa/ka’s like…structure brings,,, I also just can’t imagine them with anybody else AHSKFJS Their eccentricities just meld together nicely but I think if they have a flaw it’s how much they actually love each other, or their loyalty to each other. I think it could be pretty easily exploited.
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Party Wolf Todoroki x reader
TW: drugs and drug use; not accurate tho lmao
I was at work and was super bored and suddenly hit with the though “hm party wolf todoroki” and somehow a small Drabble turned into this??? Sorry if it’s cringe™
It starts when you end up doing your work study together. Endeavor drives you both like workhorses some night, so you end up walking back to UA at 11 pm. The streets are still busy in the city, so neither of you really mind. But it’s a lot quieter as you get closer to the school.
Shoto never has much to say but he doesn’t mind listening to you chatter. Or some nights you walk in comfortable silence. It depends on how many villains decided to be a pain in the ass that day. Either way, it’s nice to get to spend time together.
It feels like class 1-A never gets a break. Even on the weekend, people are in the gym or at work studies or talking about hero work. You want to do something fun. This sucks! You wanna be normal!
Shoto asks what kind of things you find fun. He likes going to the gym with Midoriya and Tokoyami so it doesn’t bother him much. But it does get a bit stale….now that he thinks about it he doesn’t do much in his free time. Mostly homework or whatever Midoriya is doing.
“Somehow I’m not shocked…”
You tell him anything would be more exciting than nothing. A movie. The Beach. Watching snails fuck. Damn you’d even let Denki stick a charger up your butt and send a volts up there just to see what happens.
“Then let’s go do something fun. No one will know if we come back a bit later.”
Icey hot? Wanting to play hooky? Well…it wasn’t hooky…it was just taking the long way home. The extra long way…with a few extra stops….
You know someone from middle school that moved to the city. They might have some stuff that could be fun.
Shoto stops on the side walk. Stuff?
“Y/n have you done drugs?”
“What? No-no I- Todoroki-that….what…”
Ok listen. You have a sensitive quirk. If you don’t expel excess energy somehow then you really risk hurting yourself. So…yeah maybe in middle school you tried a few things. But then you started training to become a hero and had better control.
You can’t get a read on him once you finish explaining. He’s so stone faced. Blank. Nothing. Nada.
“It’s ok. One time my mom left her pills out and I took some when I was little. I thought they were the candy you get after a meal or something.”
Omg Shoto that’s so fucked.
You can’t believe his mom would just leave pills around but then again look at the other things his family did….
The two of you make your way downtown, past street bars and night clubs, till the people start to thin out. Everything seems a bit darker, muskier, a little bit damp. Neon signs flicker, advertising adult stores and “good times”. You can tell Shoto’s nervous bu the way he keeps looking behind him.
You tell him your friend hangs out at one of the raves around here. When he asks you how you know that- and how someone so young could be here anyways- you don’t answer.
Somehow you both manage to find the right place. The real task is pushing through the swarm of people as they dance and grind to the blaring music. You don’t have as much of an issue as Shoto, who sneers at the people he shoves out of the way.
“God damn it, move”
It’s a little bit funny to watch him loose his cool.
Eventually you find your friend seated by the exit, who’s more than eager to give you
“something to put a smile on your grumpy little boy toys face” for a price.
Shoto is quick to grab him by the collar, bringing them nose to nose so they can hear each other over the music. You grab his arm, trying to keep him from doing anything brash.
“I’m sure this is plenty”
With his other hand, Shoto places a bill in your friends pocket, swiping a small baggie. The exchange ends with your friend being placed back into his seat and waving you goodbye.
You and Shoto make it into a back alley. Water drips from one of the gutters and on to a trash lid but there’s no one really around. The quietness is oddly calming.
Shotos unsure of what to do with the little white tab in is fingers. Does he swallow it? Is this even a good idea? God what if his father…You can see the wheels turning in his head. If he wants to try it then he has to take it now, or else you’ll never make it back to the dorms in one piece.
“You think too much. Open.”
You snatch the pill from him, pinching his jaw between your finger tips. Shoto sticks his tongue out, allowing you to place it gently on the tip. It’s bitter as it melts in his mouth. He tells you he doesn’t like it as he watches you take your own dose.
“It’s icky and sour”
“I think you’ll survive. You really are spoiled huh?”
You pinch his cheek, watching his face scrunch up as he pulls your hand away. He isn’t spoiled…he just doesn’t like it when it’s sour…
Suddenly he can feel a wave of heat rush through him. It’s different then what he’s felt from his own quirk. This makes his head feel dizzy and his skin sticky. He takes a step back to lean against the brick wall of the night club. The coolness feel good. Shoto doesn’t realize he pulled you along with him, still holding your hand from before.
You smile at him, asking if he’s feeling good yet. Your friends quirk sure is fun huh?
It’s cute to watch him smile back at you and nod. Shoto usually keeps to himself, although he’s been opening up more and more recently. You wonder if he’ll talk to you at all. Him and midoriya are close, but he doesn’t open up to you. As much time as you spend together, he keeps his heart closed off it seems.
“Y/n? Now what?”
Shoto’s question pulls you from your thoughts. You take his hand and tell him that “now you can go have some real fun”
You can hear him laugh a bit as you drag him along the alleyways. He laces his fingers between yours, gripping tightly as you walk. Things seem brighter, more colorful, it’s easier to breath.
There’s a couple street games that you try and fail horribly at, there’s late night food that isn’t really any different from daytime food but it hits different past midnight, and there’s just something so refreshing about laughing and having a good time together
For once neither of you feels weighed down by your troubles
“Is this how normal people feel?”
Neither of you are sure what to say…
As you make your way back to the dorms [and you high starts to die], you make sure to fix your clothes. Shoto lofts his hands to brush his fingers through your hair. You tug on the collar of his shirt, popping it up then folding it down again, smoothing out the shoulders.
You can feel his fingers brush against your hand briefly. A part of you feels bad rejecting his advances, but the other half of you doesn’t. So you spent the night high together? It’s not like you’re dating…and besides, that ruins the lie.
The two of you agree on the story that Endeavor made you do patrol at the end of the night and it took longer than expected. Not that anyone should really be up…but if anyone asks…
“Shhh…act normal”
The lights throughout the dorm are off. None of the windows on the first floor have any lights on, meaning your classmates have likely gone to bed. There’s one or two bedrooms on the higher floors still illuminated but you aren’t as concerned about that.
Carefully you have Shoto open the door. It’s almost 1:30. You’d be chewed out by Iida if you get caught coming home so late. But luckily, you’re able to take the stairs up to your respective rooms and tuck into bed.
It’s hard to sleep that night. The heat from your friends quirk still lingers deep in your core. But you manage to get a few hours of on and off sleep. You wake up to a text from Shoto.
“That was fun. I hope we can hang out again next time”
Ah! How sweet! Shoto is so cute and he doesn’t even know it! Somehow that makes him cuter!
You and Shoto are low key train wrecks that morning. He can’t seem to focus on anything that isn’t just keeping his eyes open. Luckily it’s a weekend so there isn’t much for him to be doing. You fair a little better since you’re used to the quirk drugs after effects, but you still need a few extra snacks to get through the day.
Most of your classmates don’t seem to notice. Only midoriya mentions how tired Shoto is. He blames it on his father and school stress. You say the same thing when asked. No one seems to question further.
Your partying becomes a semi regular habit. Every couple of week you will fake “night patrols” to go and visit your friend at the club. It seems to take the edge off and it’s more fun then just trudging home and going to bed. You’re both still able to keep up your schoolwork so what does it really matter.
A few weeks later, when Endeavor gets called out to a conference, Blazin let’s you both go home early, at the ripe hour of 8 o’clock. Now you have all this extra time, what will you do…
Party.
obviously.
Because Shoto really seems like the party wolf type.
Your friend let’s you join him at his spot in the night club. Well, it’s more akin to a rave but whatever. The air is thick from all the bodies, dancing and screaming over impossibly loud music. You’re amazed Shoto was willing to come back.
But he did. He presses a tab into your tongue, finger lingering for just a moment. Hes so close to you- closer than he’s ever been to most people- and something about the texture of your skin and the coolness of your spit, makes him wish he didn’t have to stop being close.
“You gave me mine last time. So it’s only fair…”
As that familiar heat washes over you both, he pulls away. Shoto does better than last time. He isn’t panting and pulling at this shirt collar but he is red in the cheeks. So cute….
He watches you dance with the other boys and girls. The thoughts in his head are numbed by how loud the bass is bumping, so all he can really think about it ‘how…hmmm…mmmm…aahhhh…. it is to watch someone like you dance’. Why can’t he place a name to this feeling?
God he wishes Mina had showed him how to dance. He’s just so bad at it. All he can do is stand there and hold your hips for a little bit before letting you go to enjoy yourself more. He feels like a fool just loitering here, yet you give him this big smile and try to say something. He can’t hear you though. So he leans in close and still can’t hear a single word. Your words are hot on his ear though and it makes a tingle run down his spine.
That felt good. He liked that. He loved that. Having you close feels good and he just can’t seem to figure out why. When you make your way back to the tables, he makes sure to pull you close. Grabbing your hips while you sit so that you’re so close you’re almost on top of him. You say to him that you should both be getting back
“Mommy Iida will wonder where we’ve been.”
Shoto and you leave, scurrying through the backroads to get home in a decent time. It’s thrilling to run through the night like two criminals. Adrenaline rushing through you, sending blood to your head and making your ears ring. But Shoto stops for a bit, hands on his knees to catch his breath.
Everything is so quiet suddenly. You’re closer to the suburbs than the city. Once he’s calmed, Shoto takes a few steps closer. You can see the flush on his cheeks has spread to his ears and the tip of his nose.
“It’s a shame we can’t stay out longer. It’s fun being with you, y/n. I don’t think I’ve had fun like this in a while”
When did he get this close? You blinked and suddenly he’s brushing sweat soaked hair from your forehead. There’s something you want to say-you should say- but it’s caught in your throat. All you can really manage is to press your palm against his chest.
You’re right there. He could lean in just a bit more and- god, he could do it. That’s what you like isn’t? Would that make you happy? If he kissed you? Shoto isn’t sure what to do next so he grabs the hand you press against him. Are you pushing him away? He doesn’t understand. People and emotions are just too complicated. That’s why he likes coming and doing weird quirk drugs with you. He doesn’t have to think so hard.
“Shoto I don’t….you don’t even like me like that…”
He watches your eyes carefully as you speak. Lifting you hand, he presses your knuckles to his lips, kissing them gently. He’s sorry. That’s all he can really say right now. He’s sorry.
The you of you stay embraced for a few more moments. It’s as if neither of you wants to pull away but is unsure if you really honestly want to advance what ever this is. It’s Shoto who suggests you start heading home again.
That was weird? That was weird. That was weird! He tried to kiss you while you were high as fuck. Does he really like you like that? God you couldn’t talk to him all week. School was so awkward that people started to notice. Your friends asked what happened and you had to make some bullshit up.
“Work study stuff has been hard. We got into a fight on patrol. I don’t know…it’s just been tense lately”
Yeah…tense. Shoto couldn’t look his friends in the eye when Debki told him what Jirou had heard. Sure, they had a disagreement. It would be fine. Y/n just needed time to cool off and think. Honestly, so did he. There was a lot that happened the last time they went out. You had turned him away but then again, maybe he had been to forward. He felt bad if that was the case. He goes to talk to you after dinner.
The two of you sit on your bed for a few minutes. It’s awkward. He’s sorry. For everything. He didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Really he didn’t.
You can hear Shoto’s voice waver when he speaks, but he won’t look you in the eye. His words seem genuine though. What happened was…weird. You just didn’t appreciate it. If he wants to kiss you, then he should ask you out or at least confess.
“I’m not really into kissing people I’m not dating”
Shoto apologizes again. He does like you. He wouldn’t be opposed to going out. It’s just…he doesn’t really know what that means so…all he knows is that he likes spending time with you, you’re pretty, and he likes when you’re happy.
“I mean, my dad hit my mom so I can do that? Would that make you happy? I don’t think it made her very happy but you like strange things”
….
Ok we’re going to move past that. But sure. He can take you out.
Shoto Todoroki, the boy you’ve been doing weird quirk drugs with, takes you out in a date. And it goes well! He’s sweet! Just like he usually is, but this time it’s intentional. Shoto holds doors open for you and asks you about yourself and your life and talks a bit more about his sister and brother. It’s nice.
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haitanizzz · 3 years
Text
!contains tokyo revengers manga spoilers!
cw: angst, swearing, alcohol mention, slight violence, blood/bruises mention, slight sa? (non-consensual kiss), spelling errors
characters: draken and inui
summary: draken gets drunk and got his ass into a fight. inui picks him up and takes care of him but draken can't seem to move on from emma. inui can't tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction, kinda one-sided love?, draken basically being depressed lol also set in the timeline where they own a bikeshop together
note: i don't ship them but i don't have anything against the ppl who do, i just thought their relationship was a great angst material :) i rushed the end a bit tho cuz i was getting out of ideas lol hope you enjoy!! also big thanks to the people who requested from us and we're a bit slow, but we're working on them don't worry!<3
-L
"hey inui! inui! seishu are you okay?"
draken was having it rough for a few days now, his nightmares about emma coming back to him each night like a curse from the past. inui noticed that his friend was more tense around him or when draken would hesitate to call out to him, but he didn't say anything since he knew that mental health was a touchy subject for his partner because of a certain girl. he was having a hard time ignoring it though as it left a bad taste in his mouth, but he didn't know why. is it because draken is his dear friend or maybe it is because he was in love? ken was so nice to him and he was his friend because he was inui seishu and not somebody else, right? he was so lost in his thoughts he didn't even hear draken call out to him.
"huh?"
"i've called out to you 3 times already! you look like you've been stressing so much lately-"
"oh no, no! im totally fine don't worry about it, i was just daydreaming a little bit!" he said as he let out an awkward laugh.
draken flashed him a gentle smile and patted his back.
"if you say so! but don't hesitate to ask for anything if you're not feeling well, aight?"
"got it boss"
"hey! i told u stop with that!" he playfully scolded inui as both of them began laughing. "anyways i just wanted to ask if you could close the shop today? i'm going out with some friends to drink, so.."
"of course! you can count on me, just give me the keys and you can go!
"thanks inupi! i owe you one!"
it was already dark outside when draken began to pack his things and passed the keys to inui.
"don't forget to close it or i'll beat ya ass if anything is missing tomorrow!"
"yeah yeah, just go already!" inui said as he pushed his friend through the door of their office.
"see you tomorrow seishu! "
he woke up to his ringtone, phone buzzing on the table as he got up and tried to wipe the sleep from his eyes. he didn't even have the energy to look at who was calling him so he just picked it up.
"yeah! see ya!" he sighed and almost slammed the door shut on accident. he was nervous but why? he could feel a pit in his stomach like when something bad is about to happen but he ignored the feeling and chose to dose off for a small nap on the sofa that was in the office.
-
"hello?" he answered the phone with a groggy voice.
"hey inui! sorry to call you this late but i need you to come here!"
"kazutora? it's not often that you call me, what's wrong?" he was dumbfounded that kazutora callled him as they barley even kept contact with each other.
"it's draken."
"what?"
"that idiot got drunk and punched a dude."
"oh god, again? " inui pinched the bridge of his nose not wanting to get up and drive there because he didn't like dealing with drunk people especially when it was ryuguji who got drunk. "im coming don't worry, thanks for giving me a call kazutora.
"thanks inui, we're at the new bar, just 2 streets down. we'll wait for you at the entrance!" kazutora said and immediately hang up.
"i swear that dumbass is going to be my death one day.." inui murmured and grabbed his jacket and the keys to his bike. "thank god it's not that far, just 2 streets down or i wouldn't even go to get his drunk ass."
the engine of his motorbike roared as he stopped in front of a bar, that had neon lights around it. everything was so bright he got a little dizzy and almost had to close his eyes. he spotted kazutora and draken sitting together at a random shop's staircase that was next to the bar. he got up from his bike and began walking towards them and it was when he got closer, that's when he noticed the blood sitting on draken's white shirt and bruises all over his face.
"what the fuck happened?!"
the two of them jumped at inui's voice not expecting him to shout at them.
"sorry to drag you out to get him this late, i could've bring him home myself but chifuyu and the others are still in there and im kinda worried what would they do when there's nobody to look out for them." kazutora said as he slightly bowed his head as an apology.
"don't worry about it man, don't apologize." inui gave kazutora a slight smile as he took draken's arm around his shoulder to make sure he wouldn't fall. "i'll be taking him home now..thanks for looking out for him."
"it's nothing. have a safe drive and call me if something is up!"
"yeah will do!" inui said as he began walking back to his bike with now draken slumped over him. it was very strange that draken wasn't talking at all, he was usually very loud.
"im not a kid you know? i can take care of myself inupi."
"oh so you now know how to talk? and it didn't seem like you were doing so good, so just shut up and let me drive you home!"
draken let out a laugh as he sat on the back of the motorcycle and grabbed the spare helmet.
"aight, aight! just don't be so loud, my head is killing me.."
"i wonder why?" inui scoffed as he sat on the front. "just make sure you don't fall off or you'll have to go to the hospital by yourself."
the drive to draken's apartment was quiet. none of them talked, the only thing that was making noise was the motorbike and those few cars that passed them. they were almost there when inui felt arms wrap around his waist and felt some weight on his left shoulder and he tensed under draken's touch, his heart hammering in his chest.
"i swear to god if you puke on me-"
"are you mad?" draken's voice was soft, almost like when a child got caught stealing candies.
inui didn't answer not knowing what to say to a question like that so he just kept quiet.
they soon arrived to draken's apartment complex and inui parked his bike.
none of them said a word and seishu helped his friend up the stairs, then to his door. keys jingled as draken searched his pockets and struggled to fit the key to his door inside the keyhole. inui gently pushed him away and opened the door and draken almost immediately went and crashed on the couch. seishu shaked his head and closed the door behind him, took off his shoes then followed draken to his livingroom.
"come on man, we need to get you patched up and change! i promise you can sleep all you want after we're done." draken just groaned and put his head on inui's shoulder s a sign to help him to his bedroom.
"i think the booze is really starting to get to me.." draken said as his words were slightly slurred from the alcohol he had consumed. inui helped him up and staring walking towards draken's room and sat him down onto the bed and turned on the lights. draken hissed at the sudden brightness and inui just let out a chuckle then went to the bathroom to get the first-aid kit. he came back with the box and sat next to draken and grabbed his chin.
"come on this gonna hurt a bit, but i'll be as careful and quick as i can so bear with it 'kay?" the tatted male just hummed as an answer and inui took it as a sign to start cleaning his bruises. he started dabbing under his eye first, then right under his jaw with careful movements. draken didn't seem to be giving any reaction so he just continued until his eyes sat on his slightly busted lip. seishu looked away for a moment then went to dab the sanitizer on his lip when draken took a hold of his wrist and he dopped the cottonball he was holding.
"what's wro-" seishu's words were cut off when draken kissed him. inui's whole body froze as memories from his high school years started to pry at his mind and tears filled his eyes. he didn't know what to do. was it the right thing that he just sat there without doing anything but his hands shaking? he will never know the answer to that. he only came back to reality when draken pulled away and smiled at him with red dusting his cheeks, inui didn't know if it was from the alcohol or because draken was embarrassed.
"i love you..emma." draken whispered against inui's neck and passed out. seishu couldn't process what was happening and his chest started to hurt. he quickly pushed draken off of him (who surprisingly didn't even budge) and stood up with wide eyes, tears threatening to spill out of them. he didn't even bother to pack the first aid kit as he was almost running to the door. he slammed the shop's keys on draken's kitchen island and left.
-
the next morning draken woke up with a headache.
"..what happened?" he said as he looked through his room, the first-aid kit on the floor. he tried to remember what happened last night as he went to get dressed for work.
he was confused when inui didn't came to work that day.
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womenofwonder · 3 years
Text
RWBY characters races for AUs set in our world.
How I’m going to do this: three things. The first, the city they live in Remnant. This is the least important because that leaves us with only five…maybe six places compared to our world’s hundreds of countries.
The second will be the original of their names, which they’ll have to keep in the AUs, meaning that they need some culture background for them.
The third will be their fairy tale origins.
So to start, Ruby Rose:
She lives in Vale, which is similar to France (I’ll explain why in another post maybe), but technically grew up in patch, a small island off the coast of Vale. I have no idea about Patch’s culture as we hardly ever see it, so I’m going to skip this one. We also don’t know if either Summer or Taiyang was originally from Vale.
We know Taiyang is Chinese from his name, so I’m going to say she’s half Chinese. I also wrote a western au once and really love the idea of Taiyang being an Asian Redneck…so I think I’m going to say Ruby is very, very southern just because that would be adorable.
But if you don’t want that idea I generally see Taiyang being either Asian-American or Asian-French, or Asian-British if your doing a HP AU. Summer is harder to pin down, but Red Riding Hood was originally an Italian fable, so I’m going to have her be Italian or Italian-American.
Weiss:
Weiss is German, although making her simply white America/British would work. I could see her being Russian too in some AU because Atlas fits well as Russia. For American works, Pennsylvania has quite the German population and coal mines, so that works pretty well for her.
Blake is really complicated. From Remment Australia which is culturally SEA (south East Asian), has an English name but parents with a Hindu-inspired names, but neither looking vaguely Indian. I’m going to assume her family are immigrants (as they are in cannon I think) to Australia, maybe even changed their name to help them fit in. Immigrants from where? Well, India is an option, but I like to think Malaysia. They have a large Indian and Chinese population, and I like to think Blake is a mixture of Chinese, Malay, and Indian ethnicities, from Malaysia and immigrated to Australia. And if you think this is crazy or unrealistic, you haven’t seen anything yet. The sheer mix of cultures I’ve seen growing up as an ex-pat is insane. This isn’t too crazy.
For Yang, we already have Taiyang as an Asian red-neck. Or at least I do. Raven and Qrow are going to be a little harder to pin down, but I’m think bandits getting replaced by mafia. Which mafia? I don’t know, take you’re pick. Branwen is Welsh, but I can’t think of a Welsh mafia. Coming from Mistral I would see them as being Triad, not Yakuza because Raven’s gang is famous for being less than coordinated.
If you need a logical reason for Yang having blonde hair, Taiyang could be only half Chinese, half blonde (blonde is race right?).
Either way I see Raven operating in an American city like New York or Detroit.
This would mean Yang is fully Chinese ethnically.
JNPR:
Jaune’s name and inspiration are all French. However his mother does come from Mistral (I think), so I do see him being half Chinese, but nationally French. It’s also funny to imagine him with a French accent.
Pyrrha: she’s Greek or maybe Greek-American with her parents being recent immigrants. Argus seems to Remnent-Greece and her name and fairy tale are greek.
Nora: she should be Scandinavian. I feel like in a MCU AU she’s Thor’s daughter. But she also grew up as a street rat in Mistral, which is hard to fit in our world. Therefore I’m going to have her in America, the great melting pot (and also America seems to be more like Mistral than any other Remnent king with our state system), and she going to ethically Scandinavian but knowing nothing of her culture due to her upbringing.
Ren: obviously Chinese, but I might have him be American-Chinese to fit his story nicely in with Nora’s.
Others:
Coco: we’re all ignoring that she’s based off Coco Channel, so let’s make her a LA girl
Velvet: Australia, because of the accent. Or maybe English because that is her story origin
Fox: he’s difficult, because tribes are pretty rare in modern AUs. But his story could work for various things. He’s one of the few black characters so he could come from practically any African tribe (I’m currently going with Hausa because it’s one of the few I know anything about). His name is based off ‘the fox and the hound’ which is a rare American story, so he could also be from a Native American tribe if you want the AU to be more American-based.
Yatsuhashi: Japanese, this one is thankfully easy.
Sun: Chinese. He comes from a tribe as well, but I can’t think of any nomadic Chinese tribes except the Uyghurs. Making Sun a Uyghur doesn’t make much sense but it will serve to piss off certain people on the internet. And now this is going to be taken down, isn’t it? Oh wait, this is tumbrl. This is anarchy. It won’t. Forgot why I liked this place for a second.
Scarlet: sorry for the rambling there. Anyway, Scarlet is definitely English. “I hope I don’t get sand in my shoes.”
Sage: well, he’s black, but other then that we have nothing to go one. He’s also from Mistral but that doesn’t really work? If Mistral is America as well as China I guess we can make him African American. Or whatever else works best for the AU. He might be Indian too now that I think of it. Or even Maori. Really options are limitless here.
Neptune: Yeah, so probably just American, but does have both a French last name and an Italian first name. So probably ethically American (aka white mutt). Also he lives near a port, I think I’m gonna gone with him being from Tacoma Washington because I am.
Flynt: African American
Neon: Japanese-American because of her meme (it started as part of Japanese pop song on YouTube, the latter of which is America summed up in one invention)
Oscar: Hispanic-American, he just looks it. And I’m guessing he lives in Kansas for obvious reasons. His last name isn’t Hispanic but their could be a lot of reasons for that. Or he could be Native American (Pawnee, Cheyenne, and Osage are all Native American tribes in Kansas).
Penny: well if she’s still a robot she probably stays white, but if you want her human in this AU she might end up being half black as Pietro is, although she also could just be adopted. I guess the later makes more sense, huh? I figure she’s American, with her dad working with a ‘well meaning’ but ultimately corrupt government. Probably living in DC, as that has both the government and the poverty issues.
Emerald: oohh, boy. This is hard. Sustrai is Basque, and Aladdin is a French addition to an Arabian story, she herself is dark skinned with anime features that are super unhelpful for this sorta thing.
I have three ideas. Brazilian, mostly as there’s no South American themed RWBY characters I can think of, and it’s diverse enough that someone looking like Emerald would fit. Secondly, for American centered stories she’s just an orphan with no idea of her ethnicity. Or she could be African, Indian, Pacific Islander, or Hispanic or some mixture between those four. It’s honestly really hard to tell. In my fanfic she’s from Suriname and ethnically 1/4 Indian, 1/2 Creole, and 1/4 Javanese.
Ilia: Sioux (Native American). Ilia means a lot of things in a lot of different languages, and Amitola mean rainbow in Sioux, so I decided to just stick with that.
Mercury: American, white mutt American. I’m guessing New York or Philli for where he grew up, it seems like a place where he’d be comfortable
Neo: the new novel reveals her father lived in vale (btw I haven’t read it, I’m just getting this off the internet) and her mother was a assassin who’s origins aren’t known. She doesn’t really have a fairy tale. So I’m going to go with British or French (thank RWBY thoughts for the first one) although in an American AU she works as just a white American.
Robyn: depends on what Atlas is in this AU, but probably German or American.
Qrow: I already mentioned he’s probably Chinese due to being from Mistral. It’s a bit weird to think of him as Asian, but not as weird as it to think of Raven as white, so I’ll take it. Although I do like the idea of him being American Irish, that’s fun.
Winter: whatever Atlas is in this AU, German or American, although British and Russian would work well too.
Maria: Mexican
Salem: If you want a AU where she’s just a normal person then New England or Italian for her story origin
Watts: British
Tyrian: uh…I have no idea, but he looks white. And he kinda has a British accent? I want him to be southern for the accent tho. Probably just another crazy American
Cinder: her fairy tale is French but her origin is Chinese. Also, Cinderella doesn’t really have an origin, it’s an ancient story with every culture having at least one Cinderella story. So I’m going to say Chinese.
Hazel: American, from the Midwest. He’s darkish so maybe he’s a POC? Part Native American or Hispanic? Idk or really care I can’t stand Hazel
Roman Torchwick: American-Italian, he runs/works for the mafia
Ozpin: American because of the whole wizard-of-Oz-thing or French, because he seems to have come from Vale.
Glynda: American or French for the same reasons Ozpin is
Oobleck: Jewish American (because Dr. Seuss was)
Professor Port: Russian, due to his fairy tale, or English, due to his style
Taiyang: already said he’s a red-neck Asian.
Raven: depending on whether you want her to be white or not, either Chinese or Irish American, like I already said.
Cordovin: Karen
Ironwood: again, depends on Atlas in the AU. Either American or German…maybe Russian
Clover: Irish-American (or German, obviously the ace-ops depend on where Atlas is. I’m just going to do the rest of them assuming Atlas is American because Germany isn’t that diverse)
Harriet: African-American, I guess. It kinda messes with the story because Harriet is supposed to be privileged, which doesn’t really work in this AU, but she’s also obviously black.
Elm: Just normal American, maybe greek-American because of the Aesop fable themes
Vine: Tibetan based on his design
Marrow: either African-American or Pakistani/Indian-American. (I’m personally going for Pakistani)
Klein: english. All butlers are English. It’s a rule.
Pietro: African-American
Johanna: Pakistani or Indian American
Fiona: Jewish-American (kinda random but while she’s obviously white she also needs to be a minority for the Faunus thing to work)
May: normal upper glass American/German
Ghira: Half Malay, Half Indian, from Malaysia but immigrated to Australia later in life
Kali: half Chinese, half Indian, but also from Malaysia
Adam: much like Fiona I’m going to assume he’s Jewish due to him being white but still needing to be a minority. German or American, again, depending on where Atlas is. Or he could be Chinese, even though it doesn’t work with his name, due to the theory that he was trafficked much like Cinder. I’m going with ethically Jewish though
Sienna Khan: Indian
Huh, I actually finished that. I’m pretty sure I was accidentally racist multiple times and apologize in advance,
I’m exhausted and starving and not thinking straight. But anyway, here it is. Your very messy guide to modern RWBY AUs. I swear this was insane to sort out.
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tooruluv · 4 years
Text
Tobio Kageyama x F!Reader ( part 9 )
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❝ goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished, but the book is closed. tell me, have we started a new one? ❞
description: it had been years since you and kageyama broke up. it had been years since the two of you left each other, hatred brewing. fate works in funny ways, you thought, as you caught his eye across the café. love works in funny ways, you thought, as you woke up in his bed the next morning, his fiance calling his phone.
genre: forbidden love, cheating, ex lovers, (all characters are aged up)
word count: 2,109
warnings/notes: im so sorry for the delayed update!! midterms have been kicking my ass. anyway. only one part left!
tag list: @kara-grayson04​ @sadhwstudent​ @unlikelytigerqueen​ @kageyamavibes​ @monviemoo​ @tazzi-baby​ @1800xibal​ @amirahroronoa​ @lozzybowe​ @stinkybitch1919​​ @sillykittt​​ @pinknugget​​ @celamoon​​ @bokutosworld​​ @elianetsantana​​ @chao01248​​ @vhskenma​​ @yoitsseulgi​​ @milegonzalez96​​ @doremifa-so-fucking-done​​ @cuddlejeongin​​ @yeahhemmings-​ @melanieacademy​ @killuaking​ @animewhore28​
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The second that the words left Oikawa’s mouth, he was paralyzed. He hadn’t expected to say it. His eyes were wide, skin flushed and mouth agape. Surprise and regret immediately masked his anger.
He couldn’t even move as you turned and left.
Let’s paint the picture, shall we? You, a girl who still had an incredible amount of love for your ex boyfriend to the extent that you were comfortable being the mistress in his affair. Kageyama, said ex boyfriend who still had a lot of unresolved feelings for you to the point where he had considered (on more than one account) disregarding his entire upcoming wedding. And Oikawa, your best friend and fuck buddy for the past five plus years who had just accidentally revealed that he was, in fact, in love with you.
Let’s just say that you walked a lot that day.
You walked through the city until the sky turned dark. You walked along the neon lights, through the park, and back into the city streets. You walked near the water, you walked past hundreds of people. It was incredibly melodramatic.
It wasn’t until you realized that you were actually tired, and your feet hurt, that you sat on a bench. It was pretty secluded. The bench sat facing the water, the city behind it, and you did nothing but sit.
A body sat beside yours, on the complete opposite side of the bench with as much space as possible between you. You almost giggled to yourself, despite everything.
“Hey.” The person spoke, and you knew who it was. There was only one person on the face of the earth that would take it upon themselves to be that respectful to sit on the opposite side of the bench you were sitting alone at, at night.
“Hey, Hinata.” You looked up at him. He’d grown a lot since high school.
“You found my bench.”
“Your bench?”
He chuckled, making you smile. “No, not my bench. But the bench I like to sit at when I have a lot to think about.”
“So, you would sit and think about volleyball on this bench?”
“Yeah.” He smiled brightly. There’s something about Shoyo Hinata that made it impossible not to smile. “It’s really pretty here. And there’s a lot of good food behind us.”
You turned back to the water, eyes scanning for answers.
“I’m still in love with Kageyama.” You told him.
“I know.”
“And Oikawa just told me that he was in love with me.”
“Wait, really? Finally!” He stopped himself. “I mean. I knew that, too.”
“Does everyone tell you everything?”
“Yeah, usually.” He moved a little bit closer, but not by much. “If you think you know someone’s secrets, I’m sure I already know about it.”
“Even Tsuki?”
“You mean how Hana cheated on him with Kageyama and now you are going to the wedding with him, him being Tsuki, to make them both jealous?”
“Damn. You’re insane.”
“Nah, I’m just a short stack of secrets.”
Another bubble of laughter. 
“You don’t plan to ruin the wedding, do you?” Hinata asked. 
You shook your head. “No, no. We aren’t monsters. We just want to make the two of them shake in their boots a bit. There’s way too much money being spent for us to ruin the wedding. Besides, I would somehow end up being the one sending out apology letters to family and friends for coming.”
“Yeah that would be embarrassing.”
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The wedding was the next day.
You didn’t go to the rehearsal, and even took it upon yourself to stay the night at Tsukishima’s.
When you arrived at his door with a bag (that you quickly snatched of necessities from Kageyama and Hana’s), Tsuki just opened the door and simply asked you to join him in watching a murder mystery podcast. You accepted.
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“Why can’t I wear a fucking suit?” You complained as you shoved yourself into the nicest dress you owned. It was beautiful, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, and hugged you in exactly the right places. You just hated the process of getting ready.
“Because you look great in that dress. Now hurry up because we don’t want to be the only ones late.”
You left Tsuki’s bathroom in full glam.
You watched Tsuki’s eyes shift from your chest to your eyes. You smirked. “I guess the dress works.”
“It definitely works.” Tsuki rolled his eyes, bringing his arm up for you. You linked your arm through.
“You guys have fun!!” Yamaguchi called from the living room. You waved as you walked by. “Holy shit, you guys look likes gods.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you cuss.” You said.
“You’ve obviously never talked to him.” Tsuki scoffed. “We’ll be back later. Or, at least, I will be.”
“Don’t die. And don’t kill anyone!”
“No promises.”
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Tobio Kageyama always thought that on his wedding day, you would be the one walking down the aisle in white.
He would never admit it; but to be completely honest, he had thought about it a lot during the duration of your relationship. He had imagined standing at the end of the aisle and you walking down, and kissing you as man and wife. It was a stupid imagination for a high school relationship, but he did imagine it.
He watched as you walked into the building by yourself. He was greeting everyone, welcoming them before the wedding and telling the women where to find Hana in her dressing room.
You were absolutely stunning in the most brilliant red dress he had ever seen. The wedding was white and blue, and you stood out in the most amazing way he had ever witnessed.
Kageyama couldn’t take his eyes off of you as you turn to the door, where Tsukishima just entered. His stomach churns when he sees you greet him with a hug and the two of you laugh at something Tsukishima said. And he hates how evidently the man is your date.
He has to physically stop himself from chasing after you when you pull Tsuki by the hand and drag him through the sea of bodies to where a few members of the old volleyball team are (ie Hinata, Daichi, Suga, and Noya).
His heart leaps violently against the bones of his chest when a thought floods into his mind. The thought that you were with Tsukishima, the thought that you knew of everything that happened since you’ve been gone.
He felt as though he couldn’t breathe.
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You kept yourself at Tsuki’s side the entire time.
There was a little get together before the actual wedding. Everyone just stood around and chatted with everyone that they only get to see once a year, greeting the groom and making him more nervous. After a bit, it would be time to sit down and watch the ceremony.
The thought made you want to eat dirt.
Tsuki put his hand on your waist and you looked up at him. The two of you were still in the middle of talking to the old volleyball boys, Hinata talking about his travels.
“He can’t take his eyes off of you.” Tsuki muttered into your hair. It wasn’t unnoticed by Daichi and Suga, who just exchanged a look (as they always seemed to be all knowing).
“Just wait until Hana gets her eyes on you.” You lean into his side. “She won’t make it down the aisle.”
He chuckled and placed a kiss on your temple, feeling the eyes of Kageyama on your back.
“The man of the hour.” Daichi spoke up.
Kageyama appeared beside you. Tsuki’s hand stayed on your waist.
“How are you feeling?” Suga asked, eyes shifting between you and him. You could swear he knew more than you could ever imagine.
“Good, good.” Kageyama plastered a fake smile on his face. “Just nervous.”
“Well that’s normal.”
“Can I borrow her for a second?” Kageyama turned to Tsukishima. You blinked. “I just have to talk to her for a second.”
“Yeah.” Tsuki let go of your waist. He sent you a look, basically telling you to fuck the shit outta him in the broom closet.
“I’ll be right back!” you sent them a smile.
Kageyama looked absolutely delicious in his suit. Black, with a little bit of blue accents throughout. It brought out his eyes. You couldn’t focus as you followed him to an empty room.
“Hey.”
“If you have something you have to say, you could’ve said it out there.”
“No I.” I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said. I should just leave with you right now and run away and get married and live in a forest. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. Instead, “What are you doing here with Tsukishima?”
“What do you mean? He’s my date.” You shrugged.
“Yes. But why?”
“You expected me to come to your wedding by myself?” You blinked. “Or, rather, you expected Tsuki to come by his lonesome?”
“No, I…”
“That’s a bit selfish, don’t you think Kags?” You felt anger rising in your chest. “To think that I can’t have a date to a wedding when you’re literally getting married.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?” You were exasperated. “It’s incredibly clear how you think of me, Kageyama. But as for someone who will never be loved by anyone, it’s nice to go to a wedding with…”
“You’re loved by me!”
It was the first time in Kageyama’s life where he truly understood what earth-shattering silence was. It was deafening and loud; too loud. He stood there motionless as the howling of his blood pumping in his head, his heartbeat inside his chest. You were silent.
His world seemed to have stopped the second he had said those words to you. The moment those words left his lips, he wished to take them back. Not because they were lies, but because it was the first time he had said them in the most honest way possible.
You shook your head.
You shook your head and Kageyama’s world shattered. He knew that he had hurt you, over and over and time and time again. But he had done it. He had hurt you to the point that you would simply shake your head at the confession of his love.
Whatever was left of whatever the hell was still there was gone.
“Kags,” You closed your eyes. “You don’t. I’m not.”
“I do.” He reached for your hand. You backed away.
“Me and Tsuki coming to your wedding together was not to get you to tell me that you love me.” You were muttering. You were babbling. You couldn’t do this. “It was to get you jealous, yes, but.. not this. Maybe rile you up. Get Hana to admit her bullshit for sure. But not… not this.”
“I…”
“You are getting married today.” You reminded him. “To Hana. You’re getting married to her. Today. And I cannot do another confession like that.”
“Who else has confessed to you?”
“Oikawa.” You said before you could think.
“Tooru Oikawa told you that he was in love with you?” Kageyama laughed as though it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. You basically heard your heart break.
“See? That right there?” You headed for the door. “That’s why you can’t possibly be in love with me. You’re so fucking convinced that I can’t be loved by anyone because I fucking moved away in high school. Jesus, Kageyama, get over it!”
“Sorry, sorry.” He was literally wiping tears from his face. “It’s just. I knew it. I fucking knew it.” He stopped when he seen your face. “No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Seriously fuck you.” You moved to open the door to go back to your date and get ready for the ceremony. Because this was for Tsuki, not you.
You started to walk out, but turned to him with a glance over your shoulder. “By the way, I’ve been in love with you for years. This shouldn’t be new information.”
You didn’t stay to gauge his reaction.
269 notes · View notes
tainted-wine · 3 years
Text
Evil Demonic Music
Priest!Reader X Demon!Present Mic
Hizashi has a large and filling feast on every Halloween night. He’s been doing it since before you were born. Yet here you are crashing his party while smelling like fresh meat in a den of wolves. It’s entirely your fault for throwing off his groove.
Disclaimer: Reader is more reminiscent of an action priest in a gothic action movie or anime. There’s little to no accuracy here. Lightning will most likely strike me the next time I venture outside.
Words: 7.9k
Warnings: Noncon/Dubcon, Christian Themes, Possession/Mind Control, Orgy, Public Sex, Sorta Corruption, Downer Ending
🎃👻🎃HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE!🎃👻🎃
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Yuuei Club Presents “Dance With The Devil” Halloween Event LIVE Music by Present Mic Costumes Encouraged // Doors Open at 8 p.m.
It looked innocent enough; a graphical poster on the door of a building surrounded by smaller businesses in the outlet. It masked itself well in the daytime with its plain exterior, devoid of any attractive decorations save for the club’s name that glowed in hypnotizing neon when night falls. All of its temptations were contained inside, dormant until it was filled with careless souls seeking unholy pleasures.
You didn’t hate them for it. The temptation to sin is strong. It’s how evil thrives, and the average person lacks the strength to resist. It’s your duty to protect all people, even the faithless, from evil’s many devices. 
Like this nightclub.
Party locations like these were an uncommon feeding ground, although now that you think about it, the muddled and vulnerable minds residing within should make for easy meals. The loud and nonsensical “music” and absolute lack of restraint that the people displayed was baffling, but your task is to guard souls, not convert and guide them back to Heaven’s path. One demon in particular, however, favored ‘party animals’ more than any other creature from the vile depths.
“Easy there! You glare at this place any harder and it might combust!”
To the average human, the monster that appears beside you is nothing more than a tall blonde man with an inviting smile, but he can’t hide himself from the blessed and perceptive. Beneath the guise of spice and incense, he reeks of smoke and brimstone.
Hizashi, as he called himself, will never fool you.
“Stay back,” spit nearly flies from how harshly you say the words. You know that he can’t harm you, not while you wear your cross around your neck and calmly hold thoughts of your Lord in your mind. Still, you warn the dangerous fiend to keep his distance.
He obeys and innocently raises his hands. “Hey hey, you know I’m not out to hurt you, and you’re not gonna pull anything with that crafty little weapon there, right?”
No, you weren’t going to take a stab at him with the blade hidden in your holy necklace. You tried it before, an attempt to drive it into his back when he wasn’t looking. His hand caught your wrist at a speed you couldn’t comprehend – you were certain that you didn’t blink, yet you didn’t even see him move at all. His friendly smile didn’t waver, not a hint of anger visible on his face.
“Careful, baby priest! Don’t mean to sound cocky, but I’m way out of your league.” The warning wasn’t in his words, but in the heat of Hell itself that briefly washed over you, a sensation so powerful and real that you feared you were being dragged down that very instant. But the unseen flames died off the second he released your hand, eyes flashing a bloody red before returning to their usual emerald hues.
That was the first and only time you tried to banish him.
“I don’t trust you, but I’m not stupid,” was your answer, making sure not to let your hatred and disgust cloud your mind. He might take hold of that.
It was a satisfactory response, going by his bright beam of a smile. So friendly and inviting.
Months had passed when you finally accepted that he was a demon who genuinely enjoyed living alongside humans. He never spoke ill of your fellow men and commended them for their many ways of enjoying their short lives. Most demons you’ve dealt with favor negative emotions. Fear, sorrow, anger… those cold and bitter feelings attracted hellbeasts like flies to honey. 
But this one? He fed on mortals that were as cheerful and carefree as him. All of this still wasn’t enough to convince you that he is truly gentle, however.
Hizashi stayed where he was, staring at his own promotional poster. The urge to leave was almost overwhelming, but you couldn’t let him know how much he unnerved you with just his presence alone. Instead, you shuffle awkwardly and try not to utter prayers of protection. Whether or not that will anger him is something you don’t want to find out.
He rocks back and forth on his heels. “Are you pumped for the best night of the year? Man, Halloween never gets old for me, especially in this day and age. Everyone dancing while dressed like a bunch of monsters...it’s almost like I’m at home! Humans sure know how to party like tomorrow is The Cleansing.”
“Yes, and it’s shameful,” you humor him. “I have no interest in debauchery.”
He chuckled and shook his head. “It’s called having a good time, babe. Put the tome down and loosen up every once in a while.”
Put down the tome?
Loosen up?
Babe?
How dare he make you even entertain the thought of abandoning your teachings. You just know he’s trying to rile you up, to make you lose control. You won’t let him have his way. “I have my good times in moderation, on days when I praise God with my brothers and sisters with a glass of wine. There is discipline in everything, even celebration. Heathens simply get drunk and lose themselves in the madness.”
The demon chuckled as he ran his fingers through long golden locks. Just the beautiful sheen of his hair could probably attract the greedy. “Yep. Times sure do change, don’t they?”
“They don’t just change, they’re desecrated. What was once a day to ward off evil spirits now does the exact opposite. They’re too busy with their consumerism, candy, haunted houses…”
“Oh yeah, those haunted attractions are wild. So many of my buddies gorge themselves there. Free fear for the taking, ya dig?”
Despicable.
“And you don’t?” You test him. He was a conversationalist; a few probing questions won’t bother him, surely.
He withdraws his phone, scrolling through the screen for something. “Come on, you know me by now, don’t you? That sour stuff isn’t for me.”
“Forgive me for still struggling to trust you.” Sarcasm felt too risky, actually. You won’t use it again.
“Heh, no offense taken! You priests know just how cruel we can be sometimes. Mortals learned from the best, after all.”
Your lips twitch. His curve into a more wicked grin.
Every single passerby can’t seem to resist giving you odd looks. You can feel the eyes behind you as people make their way around the shops. Your garb wasn’t that strange; they’re acting like they’ve never seen a person in a robe and wearing several divine artifacts before. They would too if they knew what Hizashi was, who has yet to garner a single look of suspicion.
Ridiculous, his casual getup is actually fooling them. Perhaps the silly villainous mustache wasn’t big enough to give him away.
“Ah, here it is!” You nearly jumped from his voice and how quickly he leaned in, a video playing on his phone. “Just tap on the screen to play it an-”
“I know how to use a phone,” You hiss, taking the device from his hand and shooting him a glance every few seconds in case he tried something. 
The video was chaos, an unsteady view of flashing lights and thumping heavy beats. Whoever held it was smack dab in the middle of an energetic crowd that sang and danced like barbaric animals. It was an orgy of overindulgence. Too much drinking with their comically shaped cups and bottles, too much lust in their crude excuse of a dance, and synthetic drums that dragged on for so damn long, even the beat sounded drunk. It’s not the first time you heard the horrid noise; it unfortunately appears to be popular among the masses. 
God help these poor souls.
“Last year’s party.” Hizashi’s words cut through your thoughts. “Pretty hype, huh? Nothing gets my listeners goin’ like a hard trap beat!”
Oh? So he’s fully admitting it now? “So you’re calling it what it is, are you? Trapping them with your satanic melodies?”
The confusion on his face was very convincing, but you knew better. “What? No, that’s what the music is called.” 
You couldn’t help but snort. “Please, demon. What do you think sounds more believable: A genre of music with such a simplistic and misleading name, or evil tunes that your kind uses to ensnare unassuming mortals that don’t know any better?”
“....um…”
“I thought so.” To think that he’d slip up so easily. He wasn’t as clever as he thought. “Tell me what happened to the people in this video. Are they alive? Or did you drain them until they were nothing more than lifeless husks?”
There was a snicker behind you. Both you and Hizashi turned around to see a young man holding his phone up with an amused smile, giving a little wave after being noticed. “Sorry,” he didn’t sound sorry at all. “I really like your costume, miss. Your acting is awesome, too.” With that, he put away his phone and whatever images he now has of you and continued on his merry way.
Impertinent juveniles.
“Anyway, they’re all fine,” Hizashi said, eyes returning to the door while tapping his feet to a beat you can’t hear. “I know how to feed without causing any serious harm. Even if I do go a little overboard, they’ll just brush it off as having too much to drink.”
“It doesn’t matter how good you are at controlling yourself. You’re an evil entity invading human minds.” It takes every bit of strength to not flinch when he looks at you. Again, there’s no anger – there’s never anger with him – and it makes you all the more uneasy. Maybe a being as ancient and influential as him doesn’t find a novice exorcisor like you worth getting angry or even annoyed over. “Your stench will remain on those people forever, attracting more of your kind to them unless someone like me finds and cleanses them.”
He shrugs and rubs at the back of his neck. “Come on, your boy is doing his best here. What do you want me to do? Starve?” He considers what he just said for a moment before laughing. “Nevermind, don’t answer that. Look, I ain’t leaving the stage, little priest. I’m addicted. The noise, the energy, the way everyone just loses themselves in all of it.”
The way his tongue peeks out to swipe over his upper lip has every hair on your skin sticking up.
“Man, I wish they knew just how sweet their own essence is when they’re caught up in the lights and music. Sweeter than any candy the kids will be bringing home tonight.”
He compares consuming pieces of a soul to children’s treats. “You’re really not helping your case,” you remark.
Another shrug. “C’mon, you say that like I actually have a chance at winning with you! I won’t hurt anyone in there. You have my word.”
You scoffed. “A demon’s word is-”
“Worthless, I know. See what I mean?” He withdrew a ring of keys out of his pocket. “Welp, I think we’ve stood here and stared at the door long enough. I gotta prep for the big night. Thanks for the company!” A few more seconds pass when he finds the right key and opens the entrance to the club. 
You didn’t follow him inside. That would be careless.
Now it’s only you observing the building that will soon hold a giant living feast for the hungry monster. After another passing compliment about your “cool and authentic costume”, you figured you’ve stood around long enough. It was time to head home.
And find a way to keep everyone safe.
He was right; you have no way of getting rid of him yourself. That doesn’t mean you’ll stand by while knowing what danger these people will be walking into when night arrives. You’re not afraid to put your life on the line if it means protecting His children from the many evils on earth. When the first step of your plan takes root in your head, you change routes and make your way to the nearest costume shop.
Hizashi won’t be having his fill tonight.
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8:30 p.m.
You weren’t expecting to encounter two demons tonight.
Well, perhaps that term isn’t appropriate. There is no sort of aura attached to the dark-haired man that you can trace back to the pits of Hell, but he is undoubtedly a creature of evil. One that was birthed from the shadows, living for eternity by lurking in darkness and drinking the blood of any unfortunate mortal that catches his eye.
“I knew it. I knew someone so close to Hizashi couldn’t be human.”
The vampire at the lively club’s entrance didn’t seem fazed by your accusation. He wasn’t even hiding himself. The sly bloodsucker knows that his crimson irises and enlarged fangs will be mistaken for prosthetics. Very convincing prosthetics.
“Nice to see you too,” he deadpans. 
You’re getting a little tired of these beasts brushing you off. “So what’s your feeding plan here? Waiting to find an innocent maiden who wishes to see the sinful wonders inside, then take her to the back and drain her dry?”
“Like you?” The smirk doesn’t reveal any teeth, but his predatory eyes are enough to make you step back and grip the cross that still hangs around your neck. Your reaction makes him chuckle darkly before he returns to his regular disinterested self. “I already ate.” That monster. “I’m here because Hizashi thought I’d make for good security.”
“So you intend to drink from anyone that steps out of line?”
“No.”
“Lies. Look here, vampire…”
“My name is Shouta.”
“...You and your friend won’t be preying on these naive humans for much longer. He told me about his trap music, but I won’t let his songs bewitch anyone tonight.”
He stared at you, one eyebrow quirked high up. “Alright...can you give me your hand already? There’s a line growing behind you.”
You look over your shoulder, and there is indeed a line of disgruntled people dressed as various monsters and characters. You have to admit that their costumes look to be of higher quality than the angel outfit you hastily bought in the store’s clearance section. The fuzzy headband for your halo was itchy and your flimsy wings were on the verge of falling off with every sudden movement.
With a glare that messaged him not to try anything, you cautiously extended your arm. He took your hand in his – deathly cold – and wrapped a thin paper tag around your wrist. “Have fun.” 
You always hate it when you can’t read their smiles.
The suffocating darkness around him was lifted when you made your way to the same doors you were looking at with so much contempt this morning. Glancing back, you saw others happily complimenting his ‘spooky’ appearance, to which he responded with either a quick thanks or a grunt. None of them seemed to notice his chilling aura or ice-cold touch.
Why must they be so blind to the evils that walk beside them everyday?
When you stepped in, the music nearly blasted you back outside. So loud, but not like the angelic choirs during gospel. You didn’t feel lifted, you just felt bombarded by pure noise. A repetitive tempo made the entire building pulse like a heartbeat. This didn’t sound like the music Hizashi supposedly used to put the crowd under a spell. It just repeated the same forsaken beat over and over again. Perhaps the repetition is meant to ease the victim’s mind and lure them in a false sense of security, then those long rolling beats will come in next, ensnaring them when their guard is down. Clever, but not clever enough.
You passed the lounge and bar area, paying no mind to the lecherous behavior around you. Boisterous laughs, alcohol being carelessly chugged…
“Hey there, angel.” A man dressed as a superhero nearly tripped over his own cape in his attempt to approach you. “You as innocent as you look? I can introduce you to the boUUUURP.” The sudden belch burned your poor eyes with the stinging smell of rum.
Lord have mercy on both you and these savages.
“No thank you,” you said through gritted teeth and brushed past him. The lights and colors are disorienting. Strobe lights, spotlights whizzing across the walls and floor, and vibrant ever-changing shapes on every surface. The intoxicated folk probably welcomed the flashing chaos. When you drink at the church, your sips stay modest and controlled, ensuring to never reach the stage of drunkenness. If you were feeling ‘buzzed’, as they would say, this musical and optical discourse would likely feel pleasant, like entering a world devoid of rules and consequences.
Also known as a world of sin.
A huge mass of bouncing bodies covered the dancefloor, and there on an elevated platform, acting as an advanced musical throne, was the evil orchestrator of the chaos.
And those long curved obsidian horns were most definitely real.
Even as he tampered with the many buttons and dials before him, Hizashi moved as wildly as his prey, too caught up in his own infernal electronic hymns to even notice your presence. Surely your chaste energy sticks out among these wrongdoers like a dove in a pit of serpents.
You need to activate your blessing before he eats. Good thing the vampire didn’t bother to inspect your costume for any natural evil repellents that you happened to be carrying.
Your self-made pockets were filled with sage and rosemary, common herbs used to drive away demons and spirits. You sprinkle them onto the floor as you continue to make your way to the center, where your power will work most efficiently.  Hopefully their scent will not be overpowered by the sweaty bodies and breaths laced with alcohol of all kinds.
Pushing through the dancing crowd was an arduous task. The music had since switched to something faster and more aggressive. The hectic sounds in this one was making you miss the boring but calmer tunes from before. You never considered what the sound of a robot vomiting would sound like, but it would probably sound similar to the cacophony of ‘whirs’ and ‘wubs’ that were assaulting your ears.
The mass was pushing and tossing you every which way. The variety of masks and makeup beneath the constant moving lights was rather frightening. Of course, you’ve dealt with plenty of real monsters, but it disturbed you to see your fellow man acting in such a frenzied matter in such a perplexing setting. You can see why Hizashi adored this environment. You couldn’t tell the difference between man and beast.
Straightening your halo, you decide that this spot will fare well enough.
Now it was time to apply holy water around your feet. Just a few drops of the blessed fluid will be enough to protect everyone here.
You close your eyes, ignore the many bodies bumping against you, and pray.
O Lord, protect me from temptation.
The water trickles out before you.
O Lord, forgive those who have been led astray.
“WOOOO SHIT! THIS IS MY JAM!”
The nearby exclamation makes your eyebrow twitch.
For we know that your power is greater than any evil.
The song is deafening, but you keep going.
Grant, O Lord, the protection fro-
Someone violently collides into you, knocking the bottle right out of your hands and rolling away to disappear behind the wall of stomping shoes.
Shit! Forgive my language, Father!
You elbow the fools blocking your way, ignoring the occasional “hey” or “watch it” during your desperate search for the most important tool against evil influences.
You didn’t even finish your prayer. You need to at least do that first, before it’s too late. Clapping your hands together, you shut your eyes again and moved your lips rapidly.
OLordprotectmefromtemptationOLordforgivetosewhohavebeenledastrayforweknowthatyourpowerisgreaterthanany-
“HERE COMES THE DROP!”
The rhythm and bass changed drastically, and with it came a powerful wave of raw exhilaration.
It’s like a force was injecting every positive chemical directly into your bloodstream. The abundance of newfound energy needed to be released, just like the tension that was released from that beat drop.
Your hips are swaying in a way you’ve never moved them before, and you can’t make them stop.
Stop! Stop, please! This is his doing!
“How are my listeners doin’ tonight?!”
The demon’s voice booms through the speakers, seeping into your ears and filling you with so much excitement that you can’t help but cheer with everyone else. Your senses feel simultaneously enhanced and dulled. The humans around you were out of focus, but the diabolical DJ up ahead was so clear, it’s like you were right in front of him. The hunger in his currently red eyes struck fear in you even as you danced.
“Woo, I’m lovin’ this energy! Thanks for coming by this Halloween, ya little monsters! Now...bring this house down!”
Your heart accelerates from the rush and you begin to jump in sync with the possessed crowd. Even the people standing by or sitting at the bars couldn’t resist, joining the growing horde on the dancefloor to jump in unison. 
It was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Not a care in the world. No customs, no praise. It didn’t give you that warm feeling of ascension. Instead you just felt...liberated.
No!
Struggling in the demon’s grip, you cleared your thoughts just enough to try to calm yourself and regain control.
Utter a prayer. Hurry. Focus. You need His protection.
‘Baby priest? Is that you?’
That is not the mighty entity you wanted to hear. The voice echoes in your head, impossible to escape. When your eyes open, you see that above the vast sea of faces, Hizashi is staring right at you. 
‘I thought the dancefloor smelled a little weird! I was so busy feelin’ the beat that I almost missed you!’  You watched him laugh as he continued to violate your mind. Damn him. Wasn’t possessing you cruel enough? ‘Please, no prayers when I’m about to dig in. That’s gonna leave a bad taste in my mouth. Just keep groovin’ like everyone else!”
Your limbs obeyed without your consent and followed the rhythm. This didn’t even sound like the music you heard in the video. Were you just foolish in thinking that he only used one specific sound to trap his victims?
With another change in the bassline, a heavier weight invaded, reaching right into the depths of your heart and tugging at your very soul. You know that fear will only make you more defenseless, but there was no fighting the terror that overtook you.
Not when a demon was feeding from you.
Your brain clashed with itself. You had to keep fighting, even as he stole a fragment of what your gracious Heavenly Father had gifted you and every human, but the cheerful voices implanted in your mind begged you to stop worrying and just give in already.
There was no stopping your movements or the unending rush that surged as strongly as the music. Only now, as he completely ignored your holy safety measures and tainted your soul as easily as the oblivious heathens surrounding you, did you fully understand just how great the differences in power between him and you were.
‘Whoa...holy shit.’
The breathless moan in your head made you shudder. 
‘I haven’t tasted a human as pure as you in ages.’ 
“Please! You’ve already fed from me!” You scream out loud as the mob revels in the thrilling sensation of having a part of them sucked away. Your voice is drowned out by the music and shouts, yet you know that the horrid fiend can hear you loud and clear. “Just get out of my head!”
The dancing stops.
The music stops.
Everything stops.
It’s relieving to finally let your body rest from the forced celebration. The lights still flash and move in the dead silence. Every single person in all of their costumed glory turns and pins you with a sharp glare. Their eyes were unfocused and glazed over, consciousness elsewhere. Hizashi was in full control of all of them.
The demon himself looked down at you, no longer wearing his usual friendly and carefree smile. He was now showing the more twisted happiness you were used to seeing on his kind.
Crazed and eager to devour.
He spoke into the microphone on his headset, voice low and eerily calm. “Angel, you can’t just give me a sample of a five-star meal and expect me to not want more.”
The dread threatens to make you faint.
“Hey, none of that!” He laughs and switches back to his cheery tone. “I told you the negative emotions aren’t for me. I mean, a lady as sweet as you is gonna taste delicious either way. Why don’t you come on up here?”
You didn’t want to. You wanted to flee from this entire situation that you foolishly believed you were ready for. You thought you could sneak into this age-old creature’s gathering and force him to go hungry for the night.
Cockiness treads horribly close to pride, and pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
You clearly didn’t have a say in the matter, what with your feet moving forward on their own. Every individual in front of you stepped aside to create a clear path from you to Hizashi’s platform. Their eyes never left, heads slowly turning as they watched you slowly climb the steps with legs that trembled from your resistance.
As he stood tall clad in leather behind the large mixer table, you noticed along with his sturdy horns, he also sported a black pointed tail that lazily swayed behind him. And his stench...the foul smell that would often make you crinkle your nose was replaced with a pleasing fragrance, like a sweet and fruity beverage. It was undoubtedly the work of his spell; everything about him has suddenly become tempting.
At this point you were wishing for the music to return so that you couldn’t hear your thunderous heartbeat as you stopped right in front of him. His hellish eyes observed you from head to toe, holding his chin between his fingers before shaking his head and smirking.
“Ya really couldn’t find a better costume?” He snickered as he got closer and fiddled with your cheaply-made gown. You avoided looking directly into his eyes, afraid of falling into the blood-red depths and never finding your way back out.  “Or do you priests work on a budget?” He pauses when he notices the contents in your pockets. “Oh?” A hand is shoved inside and pulls out a handful of herbs.
“Aww gross! Sneakin’ herbs into the joint?” He winces from the smell before tossing them aside, leaving them to scatter into the unmoving group below.
How? His reaction should have been much stronger…
“Not that this stuff really works when I’m vibin’ in my element, but I’m hurt! I thought we had some trust!” He pinches your cheek, knowing that you’re unable to pull away. “And I thought you knew that I was way out of your league. You’re gonna need the big guns if you plan on keeping me away from my food.” The breath blowing into your face is abnormally hot.
There’s a layer of something otherworldly hidden in his tone whenever he emphasizes his words, like a filter poorly attempting to cover up a monster’s true guttural voice. 
But once again, he switches back to normal, which does nothing to calm you. “But I’m not gonna get mad at some rookie that doesn’t know better, especially one as tasty as you!” Twirling around, he pushes a few buttons on the table that you didn’t even know where to begin to figure out. 
“Sorry about the interruption, listeners!” He says to the crowd, cruelly acting like they have any ability to respond. They continue to stare blankly. “I hope you don’t mind if I switch things up a bit. Your boy is gonna be a little preoccupied during the next few tracks.”
The deafening silence is lifted with the start of a new song, and the people suddenly spring back to life, completely unaware of the mindless state they were in. Their only goal was to keep partying.
Your body was moving again as well, this time bobbing gently to the double and triple beats and low frequencies that vibrate through the floor and up your spine.
This...this was the type of melody you feared, and yet it didn’t affect you any more than the other songs. All of them were traps.
The only way you can think of fighting back is by filling your head with songs of praise. Keep your Lord in your thoughts. He will protect you.
“Tsk...angel, that stuff doesn’t work when I, ya know, already ate a piece of you.” His face tightened from hearing just a few seconds of the holy song in your head. “I told you, ya gotta loosen up a bit. You’re already dancing better than I thought you would!”
He paid no attention to his other prey, instead admiring your simple but energetic movements.
Then he began to move as well, shoulders doing a slow shimmy and following each of your steps with his own, moving closer and closer until he was able to wrap an arm around your waist and pull you in.
He’s warm. Not burning or emitting an aura of terrifying darkness. The music suddenly feels softer, easing your fears. Like an intimate embrace. 
“There, it’s not so bad, is it?” He says lowly, lips almost touching your face. “Quit thinking about your big daddy for once.”
You want to protest against the disrespectful nickname for your God, but he predicts your reaction and tightens his hold on your spirit.
“You taste so damn incredible right now, don’t mess it up,” he groans and savors you. With every part of you that is consumed, it becomes harder to resist. It would be so easy to just hold onto him and keep swaying like this, rocking back and forth as his hips press against yours, grinding into you.
The unfamiliar sensation startles you, but Hizashi shuts down your panic with a growl. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’ve forgotten.” he murmurs into your shoulder, breathing deeply to take in your scent. “I’ve been so hooked on the party life that I forgot just how heavenly innocents like you taste. To think that I’d have an actual priest dancing with me, tasting that revelry from such a pure source...pardon my blasphemy, but goddamn.”
You’re swimming through the fiery haze clouding your mind, clawing against it in a desperate search for an opening. But with every beat, the haze thickens and you sink further in.
You couldn’t find the light. No salvation.
More sinful feelings assault you from the friction of his groin against yours, a growing bulge rubbing on your most sacred area. It sends a foreign tingle down there.
“Ooooh, don’t think I can’t feel that, baby” he rasps, holding you so closely in a dance fitting for two lovers. “I can sense everything now that you’ve let me in.”
That angers you enough to find your voice again, just barely. “I didn’t let you in...” You tense from another hard grind. “Foul...beast.”
“Are you sure? You’re giving in pretty easily. It’s nothin’ to feel bad about, I promise. Humans aren’t built to resist life’s basic needs, so I don’t know why the big man in the clouds gets so wound up about it all the time.” 
How dare he.
“Damned snake!” You force your hands to beat against him and push him off. “You will not corrupt me with the Devil’s words!”
He’s actually shocked for a moment, even to your own surprise, but he laughs it off. “Geez, my bad! I guess you are pretty persistent. Must be…” He grabs the cross around your neck, ignoring your horrified gasp. “...this.”
With a sharp yank and a pinch at the back of your neck, your one remaining object of holy protection is removed.
And with its loss, his influence completely overpowers you. The clearness of your senses switches on and off.
The music is muffled. It’s too loud.
The roaming lights are blurry. Too bright.
Are you still moving? Or is your body too heavy?
“It stings a bit, but that little thing can’t do much when the wearer’s already under my control.” An unfocused image of the demon tossing your precious necklace over his shoulder, the necklace you’ve held close to you since the day you first stepped into the cathedral and accepted your role as a righteous defender of man.
Your essence is now being stolen so quickly that it makes you shiver. He shouldn’t be taking this much.
“Mmm, I can’t get enough of this,” Teeth that are too sharp brush against your neck, threatening to pierce your skin. “I’m an old guy, ya know. I’ve done a lot of experimenting over the centuries, to see what I’m into.”
There’s a rip, and your gown is being pulled down along with your wings. It only relieves you from the growing heat of your surroundings.
“Y’see, our daddy isn’t a helicopter parent. He brings us into the world and just...lets us decide what to do. So no, my words ain’t the Devil’s words. They’re just mine, honey. I live for myself.”
Tilting your head, he presses his lips against your throat, making your breath hitch. No, your body is sacred. Don’t let him do this to you.
You don’t even know when the music had changed, but you’ve noticed the club was filled with a synthetic ambiance, the colors switching to magenta and cyan. 
The party demon is so captivated by you that he doesn’t even acknowledge the change in tune. “I used to stalk the depressed. Wasn’t worth it, they were too bland.” He peppers kisses down to your collarbone. “I tormented scared paranoid folk. Fun, but it loses its flavor fast.”
Your bra is removed to expose your breasts to him and the entire populace within the building. Your heart races, but the synths don’t stop seeping into your ears, the bliss wrestling with your fear. 
“Shh, don’t freak out. I’ll make sure everyone forgets everything that happened tonight.” He attempts to reassure you while massaging your newly revealed mounds. “So time went on as I treated my palate to different tastes. Wasn’t long before I realized my favorite vibes were the good ones. Festivals, games, a few buddies hangin’ out,” he lowered himself and flicked your nipple with his tongue. “Or a couple fucking, I ate all of it up. And after a while I decided that I just liked people in general.”
The pleasure felt when your breast is engulfed by the heat of his mouth is shameful. Hizashi moaned at your taste, though you weren’t sure if it was the taste of your flesh or your lust that was exciting him.
“I liked it when humans were having good times, so I figured out how to join in on the fun and damn, how do you guys keep finding new ways to rock out? The prudes keep droning on about how my favorite type of people have lost their way, but I think they’re the ones who found paradise, and they’re not even dead yet!” After nursing on both of your breasts, he rises and grabs your face to turn it toward the crowd. “I mean, just look at how these guys – oh.”
‘Oh’ indeed.
The people were no longer dancing. They were grabbing at each other, at men and women they probably didn’t even know, tearing apart clothes in a vicious urge to fornicate right there on the dancefloor. Some of them were already completely nude. You avert your eyes to stare at your feet instead.
Hizashi cleared his throat. “Whoops. Look what ya made me do, angel. My lust got the best of me!” He held you close while watching the horrid act before him. You’re trying to move your heavy arms to cover your bare body. “No wonder I’m feeling so horny. Think I should make them stop?”
It takes effort to nod your head.
His lip sticks out in an exaggerated pout before going, “Nah. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen an orgy. I bet this is a first for you.”
Something tickles your hips, your eyes wandering over to see the arrow-like point of his tail curling around your white panties, tugging them down.
Part of you already knows that Hizashi is allowing you to struggle for his own amusement. With all of your protection gone, he can easily stop you from swatting at the flexible limb as it brings your final article of clothing down to your ankles.
Wearing nothing but the small strap around your wrist, you want so badly to curl up and hide yourself. You were completely bare on a stage with a demon quietly taking in your form. The contrasting feelings of anxiety and calm threaten to tear your psyche in half.
“Given how anal you guys are about chastity, I think it’s safe to say no one’s ever touched you before?” The way you tense tells him enough. “Alright alright, relax. I’m gonna make this easy for you.”
‘How? By letting me leave?’ You want to say, but your vocal chords aren’t cooperating.
He grinned from ear to ear. “Well, no. I told ya I know everything goin’ on in that head.” He grabs you by the shoulders and places you right in front of his mixer.
There were many suggestive sounds amongst the pile of writhing bodies before you. It was the most depraved sight that you’ve ever witnessed. These people may have been sinners for their immoral pursuits, but they were still victims of a wicked creature’s influence. You wish you could apologize to all of them for failing to protect them.
Slender fingers massaged your shoulders. “Ain’t it beautiful?” He whispers hotly into your ear. “I’m not that crazy about lust, but I can’t resist when it’s coming from someone like you.”
His aura has you shackled on the spot, unable to move or even tear your eyes away from all of the sex. His voice meshes with the increasingly sensual tunes, both him and the music putting you in a deep trance that leaves every nerve in your body extra sensitive.
You’re gently pushed to lean forward until your hands are supporting yourself on the table. The leather of his clothes pressed against your back is irritating, but easily overshadowed by the hands trailing down your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
“One of my favorite hobbies was hunting down faithful maidens like you. All demons love doing it, really. You can’t top raw innocence, it’s always a delicacy. It’s the closest most of us will ever get to fucking an actual angel. I managed to fuck an angel, and lemme tell ya, it’s a once in an eternity experience.”
He reaches your mound. There is still fear and an urge to pray, though it’s drowned out by the electronic harmony and all of the hot sex.
“Now she’s a fallen one that hangs out with me. Pretty little devil’s obsessed with sex now. If you’re lucky, maybe she’ll give you a visit in your sleep at midnight.”
His fingers reach your untouched folds, making you gasp. You’ve never felt so much lubrication down there before. Was that normal?
“I was really good at the whole corruption thing, so good that I caught the attention of the big holy boys. They were toughies, gotta hand it to 'em. I decided to lay low after that little showdown. That was all a preeetty long time ago.”
The demon’s voice is background noise as you watch deplorable acts that you didn’t even know existed. One woman was taking a cock into her mouth while another man pounded into her from behind. A new male approached and grabbed her free hand, wrapping her fingers around him and encouraging her to stroke him.
Three men pleasuring themselves with the same woman. They were probably complete strangers.
The repulsive sight makes you wetter.
They sure were having fun.
Hizashi hums at your arousal, sinking a digit into your folds. 
“Ah,” you choke on your own voice. His other hand plays with your breast again while you’re being penetrated for the first time. Some sort of flame was growing within you, burning and pleasing at the same time.
“I thought I’ve found my place. Going place to place and bringing in crowds who just want to forget their troubles for a day and groove.”
The finger pushes through your tightly clenched walls, or at least they try to.
“Fuck, relax a bit, babe,” he groans.
You do exactly that, giving him enough leeway to push in and out at a steady pace. You don’t think about the violation, only the strange friction that has no right to feel as good as it does. 
“And then you come along,” An unexpected sharp thrust causes his finger to brush against a spot that fills your vision with even more blinding lights. “It’s not like I was after you or anything. You’re a solid negative ten on the threat scale, but ya just wouldn’t leave me alone!” He relentlessly hits the spot again, and again, until you’re crying out and your legs are shaking. “Then you waltz in here and try to ruin my favorite night of the year?
He’s able to hide his anger as he speaks, but fails to keep it from entering his possessed victims. The orgy becomes more violent, all of the people looking no more civil than savages in torn rags as they try to dominate and fuck each other senseless.
It affects you as well, going by how annoyed you’re getting by his rambling. Can’t he just focus on pleasing you?
His finger leaves you too soon, your cunt already missing the brand new sensations. “Sorry, babe,” he says when he releases you and begins to undo his pants. “Normally I’d spend more time warming up, but I gotta join in on the raunchiness now before I go nuts. Just...do me a favor.”
You whined, wiggling your hips and rubbing your ass against his freed cock. He only chuckles at your impatience.
“Slow your roll, I’ll get started as soon as you push that button riiiight there.”
You push one of the many glowing buttons, and stock phrases are shouted out of the speakers.
“No, the one next to it.”
You press it, and another song begins.
Hizashi hums in approval. “I usually do a smooth transition between songs, but…”
A hard impact knocks you forward with the overwhelming feeling of being completely filled all at once. The stretch and pressure has your mouth hanging open in a silent scream.
“....Yeah, I just wanted to do that. And-” He yanks the halo off your head and drops it at your feet. “-I always loved the symbolism in that.”
He wastes no time building up. You’re being pounded as hard and consistently as the energetic beat. It should hurt, but the euphoric state of your mind dulls any pain and discomfort. 
With the demon inside both your head and your womanhood, there was no saving yourself. Your prayers wouldn’t even be heard through this thick depraved fog.
“Oh fuck yeah,” He growls loudly with his wild thrusts, hands gripping your hips tightly enough to bruise. “I’ve been missing out. So hooked on the party life that I don’t even remember how it feels to eat up a modest little soul like this.”
Was he still devouring you? You can’t even tell, not while you’re trapped in this melodic dreamworld as his cock rams you.
“Ya mind if we do this again sometime?” He angled himself to ensure he was hitting that sweet spot with each rhythmic pump. Despite his aggression, his hips moved with musical purpose. “Not like you’re much of a priest anymore. You’re fuckin’ a demon, sweetheart. I think the pearly gates have closed for you.”
That sounds sad and all, but God does he feel good. The entire moment was feeling like a hallucination. Your world was saturated with fuzzy images and muffled bass as your virgin pussy was ravaged. The tightened heat in your core was growing hotter by the second.
Hizashi just wouldn’t stop talking even as he became short of breath. “Ah, don’t worry, my doors are always open to misfits!” His rhythm falters a bit when you give him an especially tight squeeze. “Ya like that? I can always wipe your memory of tonight along with everyone else’s, and you can head back home. I just don’t think your next visit to the house of God is gonna end well.”
How does he expect you to care with the way he’s plowing into you?
His arms wrap around you in an embrace. “No pressure, angel. You can decide later. For now, just enjoy the show.”
And finally, he shut up and focused on fucking your divine lights out.
With his pelvis flush against your ass, Hizashi humps with newfound vigor, his thrusts rapid yet precise enough to keep stimulating your most sensitive areas.
The blinding stars in your eyes make it impossible to even make out what’s happening in front of you. A shame, because you want to know if you’re being dicked down as good and hard as the whores on the dancefloor.
The demon may not be talking anymore, but he was still being very vocal about his pleasure with feral moans and growls right into your ear. 
An extra hard slam forces you to nearly topple onto the controls, hands scrambling to keep you upright and hitting several buttons in the process. 
A series of sounds and distortion effects are added to the song.
It unexpectedly riles him up. “Shit, that wasn’t a bad mix, angel. I might have a junior DJ in the making,” he praises.
The tempo changes - different speed and new layers - and Hizashi follows suit by switching his quick bucks into deep thrusts.
The fire inside was close to doing...something. You weren’t sure what it was or what exactly will happen if this lasts any longer, but part of you knows that it’s about to feel very good.
With the head of his dick striking you nice and deep, you quickly learn that you were right.
The explosion of spasms was too pleasurable to even comprehend, each contraction tearing filthy screams from your throat. Hizashi bursts soon afterwards and fills you up with a cry even more lewd than yours.
Just like that, your mind is freed and the weight of his aura is lifted...and you feel gravely tired.
A coldness sweeps over you and saps every ounce of your strength. You find yourself dropping to your knees and falling over as a distant voice expresses genuine worry.
“Oh.......I overfed.” Though it doesn’t sound as panicked as it should.
You don’t want to close your eyes. You fear that something terrible might happen if you do, but your eyelids are quickly becoming too heavy to fight.
“Really sorry, little priest! I didn’t mean to! Look at the bright side - my friends are gonna love ya down there! Home isn’t half as bad as those books make it out to be!”
Each word sounds fainter than the last, but you still catch each one.
Home?
Your eyes shut. 
And the remains of your soul become stained with ash and black before heading downwards into the demonic realm.
Welcome home.
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Note
Millie headcanons!!
- I see her as having more of a gothic lolita/almost Victorian gothic style tbh? Basically she dresses like Lydia Deetz in Beetlejuice. However I love throwing in more mall goth aspects too. Fancy black dress, messy looking makeup, demonia boots, Victorian mourning jewellery, and spiked choker & bracelets kinda thing you get me?
- Bullied kid with comorbid probably undiagnosed ADHD and depression type beat
- I imagine ITP takes place in like, early or maybe mid 2010s. I've seen on this blog once or twice the idea of Millie being around the pizzaplex and i love that idea but I always saw her as like, a closer to classic Freddy Fazbear's kid.
- Her family is pretty well off. That's why she can actually afford to dress the way she does (yeah I'm jealous what of it)
- She likes horror a Lot. It's something of a hyperfixation of hers, but it leaves her grandpa quite concerned because My Granddaughter Has Been Holed Up In Her Room Watching Horror Movies All Day Is She Mentally Stable
- I know in canon she was only going to stay with her grandpa while her parents were away but I got the vibes that her grandpa basically helped raise her. (In my own weird au where millie and sarah like, band together with the other protags to investigate freddy fazbears and specifically the bite of 83 and shit she just full on lives with him lol)
- She's intimidating as Fuck when she gets mad.
- Her hair is not naturally black (not sure what color it Is tho, maybe blonde??), but she dyes it (I also imagine she likes to throw in some purple streaks or a black to purple ombre sometimes)
- She has like 3 piercings on each ear. The second set no one knew she was getting until she came back home from going out to do so. She was banned from getting piercings as a punishment so the third one was also a secret no one in the family noticed for like months.
- She would love FNaF. I feel like she'd make "man behind the slaughter" jokes. Is that old? Me and my sister still do it.
- She is absolutely awful with kids, but they love her. She goes out to the park with a black umbrella to brood dramatically in the shade and from the playground she just hears "Millie!!" And then a small crowd of children runs up asking if she'll play with them. She always gives in and agrees to play in the end. She can never even remember their names or anything but they see the sad girl in all black and immediately know She's Friend. She would die for them.
- Oswald is her surrogate brother and ok now that I'm thinking abt millie in the pizzaplex era Gregory would be too 100%.
- She likes chocolate. She gives me the vibes of someone who just, chocolate everything. Her grandpa buys chocolate chips for baking and Millie eats them all.
- As a kid she cried a lot and didnt know how to/was too afraid to stand up for herself. She has a lot of repressed anger from those years and tends to dramatically overreact as a result (I'm not projecting what do you mean)
[TW for implied abuse for the next three]
- OK BOUNCING OFF THAT ONE HC THAT DYLAN HAS DID AS SOMEONE WHO MAYBE HAS IT MYSELF I LOVE THAT. I have an Idea for how it would've formed which is that his familial situation is Very Not Good. Anyways I think, he has probably abt 10 ish alters, Millie would get along with most of his alters. I think Dylan would have multiple persecutor alters which r alters who formed from trauma who harm the body or other alters to try and protect them. Millie actually gets along surprisingly well with one of them.
- On another note w/ Dylan tho Millie's grandpa meets Dylan, finds out just a little bit abt his family and basically tells him like "my home is your home, if you're not safe there, you're always welcome here" so <3 he likes to spend basically all his time at Millie's grandpa's house and he doesnt say it but he worries hes like is your home really that bad do I need to call CPS?
- Millie's parents come home at the end of the year and are like well what'd we miss? And her grandpa's like look at my new grandson Dylan :) Dylan come out and say hi!! And out comes a teenage boy with bright red hair, a bunch of piercings (also a scar on one ear), wearing spiky platform boots, spiked bracelets and choker like Millie's (but in white w/ black spikes) and patched black jeans, wiping Pop Tart crumbs off a My Chemical Romance shirt and he just looks up at them totally nonchalantly and goes "Heyo" and walks off and they're like MAURICE WHAT THE HELL?!? WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THIS KID?!?! JUVIE?!!?!??
- Millie's grandpa doesn't Know Dylan has DID 100%- Dylan hasn't told him and doesn't plan to- but he notices major changes in personality from time to time and catches Millie, Sarah or Brooke calling him different names occasionally. That plus his vague knowledge of what goes down at Dylan's house, he's sorta put the dots together on his own, but he hasn't said anything yet.
- Ok so like, I love the idea of Brooke having like a pastel/bubblegum-bitch aesthetic. One time Brooke dressed Millie up in a pastel goth style (and Dylan gave her a scene/emo style) and at the time she was like it's so BRIGHT it's so SOFT WHAT but shes been thinking about that ever since and occasionally while shopping she'll pick out a pair of cutesy/pastel earrings or a neon accented choker or something like that.
- Brooke introduces Millie and Dylan to Marina. Millie introduces Brooke to MCR (or something, idk, for as much of a goth as I am I mostly listen to Penelope Scott). Dylan introduces them both to FaLiLV (a Japanese band). Brooke does not like their taste in music.
- Millie's idea of calming down is laying on her bed and listening to screamo.
This took me an hour and a half I'm sorry
ADHAKFJHSJKJHKDSSJFD I LOVE THESE-
The one about Millie being terrible with children but them loving her anyway, is so accurate to my Millie as well. She can take care of a child about as well as she can take care of herself (not much at all-), but her cousins absolutely love when she babysits them, and Gregory looks up to her as a role model (Millie's just like "thanks, but reconsider!" lol)
And the one with Millie's grandpa practically adopting Dylan, I swear ur trying to kill me with wholesomeness, I love them sm. In my AU if Dylan was having issues with his family and Millie's grandpa found out, he'd just calmly stand up and walk into the garage, coming back with a baseball bat. He'd calmly tell Millie and the others that he's just going to have a "talk" with Dylan's parents, while Millie knowing damn well just what he means by that starts chasing after him telling him not to do this, Dylan not far behind.
Dylan's parents would just hear someone pounding on their door, and when they answer there's just an extremely tired and pissed off 60 something year old man on their doorstep, and two teens attempting to hold him back, all while Millie's grandpa is shouting a load of expletives at them.
The whole time Dylan is just panicking, and is all like "M-Mr. Fitzsimmons, you don't have to do this!", whereas Millie knows that her grandfather will not calm down until someone is at least hospitalized.
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samiwok · 4 years
Text
social media au ; ndiy
12 || funfair II
~li’s notes~ okayyyy soooo looks like it’s time to have some explanation mhhh
funfair || 11 <-
-> 13 || funfair III
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written part
“Are you okay ?”
That voice. You could recognize it between a thousand elses. You raised your head slowly, scared of looking at him, because you knew who it was.
You saw him, crouched right next to you. His green eyes went wide when he saw you.
“Yn! S-so Y-you’re here too” he wasn’t able to say something else at this very moment. It’s been a few days already since Iwaizumi got back to Japan but he wasn’t expecting to see you now. He wasn’t expecting to meet you again in the middle of this funfair. But here you were, and here he was. Was it fate ? He thought. But he chased this idea from his mind quickly. He didn’t have the right to think you were fated to be with him. It would be your choice and only yours, not the destiny’s. Now you were both looking at each other. You couldn’t hear anything anymore now. No words. No music. Nothing. Nothing except your breath and your fast heartbeat ringing into your ears.
He got up slowly. Still looking at you and arms stretched to help you getting up, his eyes weren’t getting off of you. You pushed his hands to get up by yourself without his help. You could feel the disappointment on his face as he slipped his hands in the pockets of his jacket. You were now standing in front of him.
Facing him and looking into his eyes, all you could feel was his sadness. You shook your head as to escape your thoughts because if you listened to your feelings right now, you would already be jumping into his arms. No. You were still upset. But the fact is, you missed him. You missed him so bad. And even tho he was right there, even tho the 5400 miles of distance between you reduced to one meter; you were still missing him.
“I.. uh I need us to talk. Please.” He started and you looked away. Did you want to have this conversation ? But moreover, did you want to have it right here and right now ? Was it the good moment for you to listen to his explanation ? Probably not.
“No I..” you started to say.
~You should talk with Iwaizumi so you can move on~
Shit. Why Kenma’s words had to come back into your mind right now ? He was right, you thought. You interrupted yourself in the middle of your sentence and as you were about to answer to him, somebody pushed you accidentally. You almost fell but he caught you. His hands on your hips, the music, the moon, the party atmosphere surrounding you and his beautiful eyes staring at your lips. It was as if the questions you were both asking yourselves fade away suddenly, letting all space to the sexual tension growing between you two.
“Hajime.” You whispered
“Yn.”
You got back to your place, distancing your body from his and he let you go without saying anything, still facing you.
“Alright let’s talk. I guess I need it to end this”
Ouch. It hurts to hear the word end coming from you as you’re talking about your relationship with him. That’s what he was feeling but yes, he screwed up when he tried to avoid the confrontation at Los Angeles and he probably deserved this now. You started walking but a group of people, going to the big wheel of the funfair forced you to follow them unconsciously.
“How many people are you ?” The guy in charge of the ride asked to Iwaizumi
“Uh no it’s an error we aren’t..”
“Two.” You said without thinking.
Iwaizumi turned to you, frowning and not understanding why the hell you would want to go on the big wheel with him. You didn’t add anything, just waiting for him to pay which he did. And you got in the ride. There was only the two of you in what looked like a cabin. You were sitting in front of him instead of being next to him.
You were both looking at the view as the wheel started its turn. It was silent. So silent that you could hear the other people on the other cabins talking.
“Look babe this is so beautiful, I love Tokyo” a male’s voice said
“Well, I love you.” a woman answered, probably the one answering to the nickname “babe”
“I love you too. You’re adorable being scared of heights.” The man answered, mocking
Iwaizumi laughed softly when he heard that. You looked at him discreetly. At least that’s what you thought, because he looked at you too. Both caught up. You laughed, feeling calmer than before.
“Do you love him ?” He asked, facing you. His face was tainted of purple, blue and red neon lights. He was looking right into your eyes. He gulped. Probably scared of what your answer would be
“Hajime...”
“Yn I need to know it. You don’t get it, I feel so bad thinking I made you suffer. I don’t sleep or only three or four hours per night. When a girl talks to me, all I can think about is you. I don’t want anyone else but you. All I think of is you being mine again. I need you in my life. I need to know if you need me in yours. Because if you don’t, I’ll let you go.”
“Did you want to sleep with her this night ?”
“Never Yn, oh my god. She kissed me, I rejected her right after and blocked her everywhere. You must trust me”
You sighed. Thinking about all this. He seemed to be honest. After all, he always was. Since the beginning of your relationship he’d even tell you his smallest mistakes. He’d apologize for not answering to your I love you’s when he was at a party. He’d apologize for forgetting to warn you when he was out with some friends.
“I trust you. I do, Hajime but... why did you go see her ?” You asked. Yeah it was probably the main question that came to your mind the night you see other lips on your boyfriend’s.
“She was having a long distance relationship at this moment, so I thought she could give me advices about it since you were about to leave. It was a mistake and I want to repeat you how sorry I am about this.”
You sighed. Looking at the view and the wheel blocked suddenly, while you were at the highest point. Your hands were shaking. Scared of the heights. Iwaizumi knew it well. He got up to come and sit closer to you. He took your hands in his. His hands were thick, warm, and reassuring right now.
“It’s okay yn, I’m here and I won’t leave you alone” he comforted you
You closed your eyes a little moment before looking at him again. You didn’t answer to his question yet and you were scared to give him your answer. Did you even have one to give him ? A lot of questions were harassing your brain. And you knew he would insist to have his answer sooner or later.
“Why do you do this ? Why do you complicate things for me Hajime...”
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masterlist
[ taglist ] — @ongjaewonx @bokukiyoom @vrthngiwnt @meepeo @momoinot @cactuski6 @tofu-and-aesthetic @bap-kingdom @daphneiris514 @noodlenerd101 @ravioliplease @eixelb27 @iwaizumi-chan @iwaigroomi @iiwah @supremebage1 @doggonudez @lilacshouko @energetic-tangerine @fuckoffyoutoad @fait-de-fleurs @oikawalmart-hq @parisaanelia @svtbitch @im-the-ruler-here @stainedjournals @xanaxdeity @kwdflash @shegrewupwithoutafather @huhkaashi @cuddlesslut @kynyta @pikawol @azgucci @settingsugas @celinaaaaa @haiq-trash @starry-magicshop @zarawkward @fallingw-angel @makkihoe @ktbio @mirakeul @uwusketit09 @wansseul @queen-lilith-ricker @seokookchan @ideshine @ynjimenez
~ TAGLIST OPEN ~
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