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natsfirecat · 3 years

Note

Okay! Here’s my request:

Natasha x asexual reader (female),where Natasha confesses her feelings for the reader, but the reader reluctantly rejects her. So after turning down Natasha’s declaration of love, the reader can’t stand seeing Natasha all beaten down and upset, so the reader confesses that she is asexual, telling Natasha that she deserves to be with someone who can give her everything and satisfy her needs. That the reader won’t be enough, no matter how much in love she is with Natasha. But little does the reader know, Natasha doesn’t want those needs, but you.

What do you think? 😃🖤💜🤍

Enough

pairing: Natasha Romanoff x asexual fem reader

word count: 3.5k

summary: much to her dismay, r has to reject her crush, natasha

warnings: swearing, drinking, mentions of sex and sexual attraction, lmk if i need to add any more

A/N: thank you for this request! i love writing for asexual reader sm! i hope you like it, and remember that aces are valid and amazing! :D

also not proofread very well. i'm tired and too lazy rn lmao

You fiddled with your ring, staring blankly at the wall. You had just gotten home from a mission, and needed some time to rest up.

The mission had gone well, you went with Natasha. Your task was to stop a HYDRA attack on civilians. Everything went as planned, and there were no casualties.

Now that you were back, all you wanted to do was rest up and relax.

So, you did just that.

You only woke a few hours later because of Natasha calling you, saying that you had to debrief the mission.

So you reluctantly got out of bed, and made your way to the meeting room.

Fury was there, reading files, and Natasha sat in her usual seat. Her face lit up when you walked in, then she waved and motioned for you to sit down.

As Fury started going over the mission, you just gave short, straight to the point answers to his questions.

It wasn’t until Natasha gave a detailed summary that he let you leave.

While walking out the room, she stopped you.

“Are you going to Tony’s party tonight?”

“Wanda’s making me,”

She laughed, knowing that you most definitely would not be going to a social gathering unless one of your friends forced you.

“Well, I think it’ll be fun. I’ll see you there,”

You were about to shrug and go on a rant about how Tony’s parties were very much overrated, but she simply waved goodbye and made her way down the hallway back to her room.

You were about to do the same before you felt someone tap your arm from behind.

You whipped around, then grinned to see Carol.

“You’ve been back and haven’t seen me yet?”

“Sorry…” you muttered, suddenly feeling guilty.

“You can make it up to me by getting me food,”

You rolled your eyes, then agreed, knowing you would get yourself food too.

She gave you a satisfied smile before beginning to walk down the steps towards the garage of cars.

She stepped into the driver’s seat of course, while you followed behind in the passenger’s seat.

“IHOP?” She asked, despite the fact that it was 3:00 in the afternoon.

“Yes!”

“Great, you’re buying!”

You rolled your eyes, already knowing she would say that.

“So how’d the mission go?” She asked.

“It was fine, nothing exciting happened.

“As soon as we convince Fury to let you come to space with me for missions, things will get a lot more exciting for you,”

You smiled, then chuckled at her statement.

She would talk to you about space all the time, and you had often expressed interest in it. So she took it upon herself to make a slideshow presentation about why you should be allowed to go with her to space. It still needed some work, but she was absolutely planning on presenting it to Fury when it was done.

“Where will you take me?”

“Well we’d start off with something close, maybe not exit the galaxy neighborhood quite yet,”

You laughed again, looking forward to your space adventures with your best friend.

Carol had eaten about a quarter of her food before she broke the silence,

“So I heard you tell Natasha that you’re going tonight,”

“Yeah,” you said with a shrug, choosing to stare at your pancakes instead of making eye contact.

“Well that’s good, maybe you guys can talk and…”

“And what?” You were beginning to get a little irritated.

“Oh come on! We both know how you feel. Why can’t you just talk with her about it?”

“You know why, Carol,” you said as you subconsciously began to fidget with the black ring you always wore on the middle finger of your right hand.

She sighed, not wanting to fight you on this. So she went back to eating her pancakes, and didn’t say another word about it to you.

As you reluctantly promised, you were at the party that night. Not wanting to engage too much, you stood off at the edge of the room, taking a small sip of your drink.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Wanda and Natasha talking. You thought nothing of it, until you saw Wanda wink at her.

You turned your head to the side, then accidentally made eye contact.

Quickly shifting your gaze to the floor, you took another sip of your drink to hide your embarrassment.

You then decided to walk away, not wanting to create any more awkward tension.

You made your way into the next room until you almost bumped into Sam, who gave you a weird look as he stepped away from you.

“You alright, L/N?” He asked.

“I’m good!” You told him, quickly walking away.

When you finally got to the corner of the other room, you took a deep breath. You finally let yourself relax against the wall, away from the person you wanted to avoid tonight.

You closed your eyes for a minute, pretending you weren’t here.

For just a moment, it worked; you weren’t a loud, crowded party. You were just happy in your room watching movies and eating popcorn. No one was bothering you, and you didn’t have to worry about anything.

Unfortunately, your moment didn’t last.

Your eyes opened again when you heard your name called several times. Standing in front of you, was Natasha.

You noticed both Wanda and Carol standing at the door, watching the both of you.

“Hi, Y/N,” she said, her voice shakier than normal. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about, can we talk somewhere more private?”

You nodded, then began to follow her back the way you came until you were in another hallway that didn’t have anyone in it.

“Y/N,” she began. “I’ve always liked you as a person, I think you’re brilliant on the field, and I just love being around you. I feel these things around you, and it’s scary. But there’s something between us, I can feel it, and I think you feel it too. I’d like to explore these feelings, so… would you want to go out together… on a date?”

You let out a sigh as your heart dropped. You felt tears coming to your eyes as you thought about what she was saying to you. As much as it would hurt both of you, you had to do it.

“I’m really sorry, Natasha, but no. I can’t.”

“Oh-” she was taken aback from your response, unable to hide the disappointment in her voice. “This was stupid, you’re right. I’m sorry for even asking in the first place, I-” she couldn’t even finish her sentence before walking off, leaving you alone.

Two days later, Natasha had barely left her room. She stayed under the covers, mostly trying to sleep. Of course, it eventually turned into hours of staring at the ceiling while her stomach was in knots.

So, she took a sip from the bottle of vodka she brought up to her room, and leaned back against the headboard.

As soon as she felt tears forming in her eyes, she grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. She watched the saddest movies and TV shows she could think of, and ended up finishing the entire bottle.

If she was going to be sad and cry, it would be from too much drinking while watching sad stuff. It wouldn’t be from you. Natasha refused to let herself cry over a simple rejection.

But it wasn’t a simple rejection.

She’s had these feelings for you for months.

Your smile has made her heart flutter since your first mission with her. She vividly remembers the way your eyes lit up when you found out you were paired with her.

The two of you ended up working so well together. At the end of the mission, you held both your hands up for a double high five. The gesture confused her at first, but she eventually gave in and placed her hands against yours. That’s when you gave her the same smile that still gives her butterflies.

She didn’t even start to notice it until a few months ago, when Clint called her out on it. He noticed that your name was brought up in their conversations a lot. So he blatantly asked her what her feelings for you were.

Of course, she denied everything at first. You were just a friend who was nice to work with. Nothing more.

She didn’t fully realize it until Wanda called her out on it too.

You were eating breakfast, and Natasha’s eyes never left you. You exchanged smiles a few times, and the butterfly feeling in her stomach kept growing.

Wanda saw, feeling a smile grow on her face as she glanced between the two of you. Of course, her powers made this even more fun for her.

While she didn’t usually like to invade people’s private thoughts, especially her friends’, Natasha’s thoughts were loud. Yours too.

So after you got up, and waved goodbye to the both of them, Wanda immediately cornered Natasha. Normally, she wouldn’t do something like that to the assassin, but she felt okay with it considering that her thoughts of you softened her up a bit.

“So, when are you planning on asking Y/N out?” She asked her.

“What are you talking about?”

“You guys would make such a good couple, you should ask her out!”

“Absolutely not! We’re just friends,”

Wanda let out a huff, then rolled her eyes.

“You seem to forget that I’m a telepath,”

This time, Natasha rolled her eyes at her.

“Stay out of my head, Maximoff,”

And with that, she walked away, not wanting to talk about it any longer.

Of course, Wanda had other plans.

The next week, she made mental notes of how the two of you would interact. No matter how much you both denied it, she knew you had feelings for each other.

While you smiled around everyone, you smiled the most around her. Your eyes would light up, and you’d be grinning from ear to ear. And your smile would usually cause her to reciprocate it. She rarely smiled, but she was okay with you seeing her smile.

On top of that, Wanda noticed all the small gestures you would do for each other.

She would pack your bag for missions often, and you would share your food with her.

While both of those things could be seen as platonic, she knew better. You definitely had feelings for each other.

So when she brought it up to Natasha again, she couldn’t even deny it this time.

“Tell anyone, and I’ll make you feel pain you didn’t even know could be felt,” Natasha threatened her.

Wanda nodded, promising that she only wanted to help her.

Eventually, the assassin gave in and let her plan the whole thing out.

It would work out in the end, it had to.

Now, Natasha let out a growl of frustration as Wanda entered her room.

“Can you at least knock?”

“I’m worried about you, Nat,”

Despite her glares, Wanda continued walking towards her until she sat down on the foot of her bed.

“Why do you even care? You lied to me, you said it would work!”

“I really thought it would, I’m so sorry. But you can’t keep yourself locked in here, we’re all worried about you,”

“I can’t face her after I humiliated myself like that. Why would you tell me she had feelings for me too? You said you could tell from her thoughts, but she clearly doesn’t see me that way. Now I’ve probably ruined my friendship with her too.”

“I don’t know why that happened,”

“Please, just leave me alone.”

Letting out a disappointed sigh, Wanda realized this would get her nowhere. Natasha still needed a bit more time.

As she saw her friend leave the room, she finally allowed the tears to fall again.

She hated herself for it, but maybe she actually was crying over you.

It wasn’t like you were doing any better.

You only left your room to train with Carol, and to bring food back up to your room since you didn’t want to eat with everyone else.

You couldn’t help but notice the way Wanda glared at you when you passed her in the hallway. You ended up glaring right back, surprised by her sudden hostility towards you.

The two of you had been relatively close, but she was especially close with Natasha. You knew you had hurt her with your rejection, but in the end, you were doing her a favor.

She’d understand that eventually, and hopefully, so would Wanda.

For now, you lay in bed. You were clinging tightly onto your pillow, letting a few sobs escape.

Even though you knew the rejection was for the best, for both you and Natasha, it didn’t make it hurt any less.

You were only saving the both of you from future heartbreak. It would be worth it eventually. Soon enough, you’d both get over it and go back to being the friends you once were.

However, now you continued crying into your pillow.

You wished you could just turn feelings on and off with a switch, but you couldn’t. It would make things so much easier if these feelings didn’t exist in the first place.

You had tried to suppress and deny them at first.

You ignored the way you felt yourself smiling more at her. You ignored the way you felt like you were on top of the world when she returned your smile. You ignored the way your stomach turned into a knot of nerves whenever you touched; whether it was a full on hug or just fingers brushing past each other in the hallway.

When she sat next to you on movie night though, closer than she normally did, that’s when you realized you couldn’t ignore the feelings anymore.

You wanted to completely close the distance between the two of you, and snuggle completely into her. You wanted to kiss her, and hold her tight. You wanted everything to do with her.

But you couldn’t have her, and it hurt like hell.

After another two days, Carol came barging into your room.

“Y/N, what the fuck?” She said, getting straight to the point.

Your eyes widened, but you said nothing as she sat down and glared at you.

“You’ve been sulking for days, and haven’t done anything about it,”

You shrugged, sinking back father into the bed.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Talk to her!”

“No! I’m just gonna stay here until my feelings go away,”

“Y/N, I love you, platonically, but sometimes you’re the dumbest person I know,”

“Thanks, Carol,”

“Your feelings aren’t gonna magically go away like that. If you don’t wanna date her, then at least talk to her so you can both have some closure on this!”

“I can’t, she’d never understand and it’d just be a whole thing, and I don’t want that,”

“You explained it to me and I understood,”

“Well yeah, cuz it doesn’t affect you at all. It affects her because it’s the reason I can’t be with her,”

“Have you ever thought to consider that maybe she wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course she’d mind, Carol,”

Sighing, your best friend decided she wasn’t gonna win this battle today.

Despite her anger towards you, she still reached over and hugged you before getting up and leaving.

Once again, you were left alone in your own misery.

You began to fidget with your ring, staring at the flag on your wall. The black, grey, white, and purple colors stood out against the wall, adding a nice touch to your room.

You were obviously proud and unashamed of who you were, but that didn’t change the fact that so many people didn’t understand it. So it was just easier to not bring it up. Maybe one day you could find someone like you, who’d understand.

Tears began to fill your eyes as you thought about Natasha. You hated that you had to do this.

You weren’t even sure if you would be able to salvage your friendship at the end of this. That just made everything worse.

You lay back down again, clinging onto the pillow once more.

You remembered the way you felt when Natasha first smiled at you. You remembered the happiness she made you feel. You remembered just how much you wanted to be around her.

Luckily, your thoughts of misery finally stopped when you managed to fall asleep.

The next day, Carol dragged you out of your room. Literally dragged, she grabbed both your wrists and pulled you out of the bed until you hit the floor.

“Ow! What the fuck?”

“No more sulking, you’re getting up and not coming back to your room until tonight. Let’s go,”

You sighed in defeat, then stood up, following her out of your room.

She dragged you downstairs to the kitchen, where she already had breakfast laying out for you.

As annoyed as you were with her, you definitely thought it was sweet that she was going through all this effort for you.

So you sat down and began eating, forcing a smile. You were still hurting, but for now, you could fake it in front of your friend.

She sat down next to you, and seemed satisfied.

You gave a small smile, then continued eating.

It was progress.

When Natasha finally came down, you were the last person she expected to see. Her bloodshot, puffy eyes widened as she saw you with Carol.

She immediately looked away, not wanting to face you, especially like this.

Unfortunately for her, you had already made eye contact for a moment. You took in her appearance, letting out a deep exhale.

She refused to say anything, then turned around as if she had never been there in the first place.

As soon as she left, you turned back to Carol.

“I really messed up, didn’t I?”

As much as the logical part of your mind tried to convince you not to do this, the other part was currently making you.

So now, you stood outside Natasha’s bedroom, hand hovering over the door, prepared to knock.

You took in a few deep breaths, trying to prepare yourself. Just as you were about to knock, the door swung open before you were ready.

“Y/N?” Natasha didn’t expect to see you after what happened. “What are you doing?”

“Can we please talk?”

She frowned, thinking about what happened the last time you two talked. But, she opened the door wider, letting you in.

You walked over to her bed, waiting for her to nod, giving you permission to sit down.

“I just wanted to start off by saying that I’m really sorry for this, for hurting you like that,”

“You don’t need to apologize. You can’t change how you feel.”

“I know, but here’s the thing; I have feelings for you too,”

Her eyes widened in both shock and confusion.

“Then why’d you say no?”

You took in a few more deep breaths, preparing yourself.

“I’m asexual,” you finally got out. “While I feel romantic attraction to you, and really like you, I’m not sexually attracted to you. I’m not sexually attracted to anyone.”

She tilted her head to the side, but continued listening as you went on.

“So as much as I do like you, it’s not fair for us to be together. You deserve someone who can give you everything you want and need in a relationship, and I can’t do that.” You told her, trying to prevent yourself from crying. “No matter how much I love you, I won’t be enough,”

That’s what broke you, causing the tears to stream down your face as they had so many times within the past few days. Telling her everything you had been thinking, and finally getting it out.

You noticed a few tears forming in her eyes as she sat down next to you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder.

“Thank you for telling me,” she said. “I wish you had told me earlier, though,”

“I know, I’m sorry,”

“You’re wrong though,”

“About what?”

“You are enough for me, Y/N. I don’t care about sex, I just want you.”

“Really? You mean it?”

“Of course I do,”

You let out a gasp, then turned and wrapped both your arms around her, leaning in between her chest and neck.

“You’re okay with kisses though, right?”

You smiled, then leaned in and crashed your lips against hers. That certainly answered her question.

It felt like a weight was lifted off the both of you. You loved being like this with her, lips connected and arms wrapped around one another. You never wanted to let go.

When you had to break apart for air, Natasha smirked at you.

“So how about that date now?”

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x yn #natasha romanoff x fem reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff asexual #natasha romanoff x asexual reader #natasha romanoff x asexual!reader #black widow #black widow x reader #black widow asexual #black widow x asexual reader #black widow x fem reader #natalia alianovna romanova

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babyboibucky · 3 years

Text

The Match - Part 5

Pairing: CEO!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You find yourself in the middle of a predicament.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: SMUT as always, sort of public sex??? Unprotected sexy times, emotional damage lmao

A/N: Buckle up, babies!!! You’re in for a rollercoaster ride for this chapter ajckjasncjak I apologize in advance and please don’t hate me

AND BTW if you guys haven’t seen, I found the perfect playlist for this series lmao I saw the title and I was like HOLD UP this is perfect https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Eg5ZH6wMq4iocF5fWSesb?si=aff157a6198a4446

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Still awake, baby?

Fuck.

You screamed into your pillow upon reading Bucky’s text. It was quarter to midnight and you couldn’t sleep, especially not after Bucky told you that he wanted to make the relationship official.

It’d only been three months and you felt like he was moving too fast. And when he promised that he would find a way to snatch your heart the old-fashioned way? You wanted to explode because obviously, he already did.

But you weren’t going to say that to someone who already had a huge ego (and cock, too).

You composed yourself and typed in your reply, throwing your phone to your side after sending it.

Yeah. Why are you still up tho?

Not even a minute later and your phone began to ring. You sat up on your bed and squeezed your pillow, hating how Bucky had such an effect on you. Jesus, what are you, a high school student?!

You stared at his name on your screen before swiping and accepting the call.

“What’s up?” You answered as calmly as you could.

Bucky’s low chuckle sounded so fucking sexy that you had to bite your lower lip to prevent a moan from escaping.

“Still working. Can’t concentrate though, I keep remembering how you looked like with my cock in your mouth.”

You exhaled through your nose, “Jesus, you’re insatiable.” You said.

“Only for you, baby. You know that.” He said and your heart did a little somersault inside your chest.

“Don’t stay up too late, you have an early meeting tomorrow, right?” You asked, trying to change the topic because if you didn’t, you were sure how things would go.

Bucky let out another chuckle, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll just finish signing some papers and then I’m off to bed.”

You hummed and laid back down on the bed. It was completely silent but it wasn’t awkward. You heard the shuffling of paper on Bucky’s end, followed by the squeaking of a chair.

“You still there?” Bucky asked.

“Mhmm, you done?” You asked back.

“A few more papers left, baby. Can you wait ‘til I finish?”

There was something about talking to Bucky on the phone like this, so casual and so...mundane. It felt natural and comfortable, to think that this was the first phone conversation you had with him. He only sent you texts previously so this was new, but you had to admit, you loved it.

Bucky heard you yawning and let out a soft laugh. He sounded sleepy too when he spoke, “Almost done.” He reassured.

“Let’s have dinner tomorrow.” He added.

“Yeah, okay. As long as it’s not in the same restaurant we went to after my promotion.” You groaned at the memory.

Bucky snorted, “We’re banned there, babe. Even if I wanted to go back there, they wouldn’t allow it.” He said.

“No shit, Sherlock. We got caught in their bathroom, of course they’ll ban us.” You huffed out.

“I was looking forward to dessert, you know.” You pouted.

“I got my dessert though.” You could hear Bucky’s smug smirk through the phone.

“Are you done?” Bucky whispered into your ear as he placed an arm on the back of the booth.

You shivered at his voice and nodded, grabbing your champagne and drinking it in one go.

“I promised you something, didn’t I? That I’ll give you something right before dessert? Meet me in the bathroom in five. Again, don’t be late.”

And with that, Bucky slid out of the booth and adjusted his suit before leaving for the bathroom. You clutched your heart and waved at the waiter who passed by, requesting for a refill and downing it before following Bucky.

You adjusted the black dress that Bucky bought you, you were surprised at how perfect the fit was. The lovely dress though, made you uncomfortable because of its length and the fact that Bucky still had your panties with him was making you feel even more conscious.

You were immediately pulled into the men’s bathroom as soon as you got there. Bucky tugged you into one of the cubicles and wasted no time to bend you over, lifting your skirt up to squeeze your ass.

“I knew I picked the right dress, you look good enough to eat.” Bucky grunted as he unbuckled his belt.

You moaned and pressed your palms against the door, pushing out your ass towards Bucky until you felt him line his tip up to your entrance. In one swift move, Bucky bottomed out and didn’t give you enough time to adjust.

It was fast and violent, the way Bucky fucked you inside that stall. Both of you were too caught up in the pleasure to even hear the commotion happening outside.

“Not gonna last long, Bucky...” you whimpered, feeling your legs tremble.

You’d been on edge the entire time, having been denied your orgasm earlier. And Bucky kept on squeezing your thigh teasingly during dinner, palm always inching higher until it settled close to your bare mound.

Of course, you wouldn’t last long!

“I know, baby.” Bucky said, sucking the skin on your exposed shoulder as he continued to fuck you from behind.

Once done with the sex escapade, the both of you were welcomed by the restaurant’s manager with a disapproving (and scarred) look on his face.

You blushed at the memory, “Let’s not do that again, please?” You said.

Bucky laughed, “Fine, fine. But dinner tomorrow, okay?”

You yawned at the same time you hummed, “Just dinner.”

“Wholesome dinner.” He confirmed. “Alright, I’m done with work. Sleep now, baby.” He cooed and you nodded even though Bucky couldn’t see you.

You heard footsteps and then the sound of the door closing shut.

“Good night, baby.”

“Hmm, good night, Bucky.”

To say you were giddy the next day was an understatement. You were on cloud nine after having a phone conversation with Bucky last night. You even greeted Janet the snitch a very good morning when you shared the elevator with her.

You entered your floor and offered everyone a smile, but you also noticed that they seemed to be preoccupied talking to each other.

“What’s up?” You asked Martha and the other girls who were huddled together.

“Haven’t you heard?” She asked. “Sophia shared an elevator ride with Mister Barnes earlier. He called a flower shop, asked for their most expensive bouquet and then went on to make dinner reservations at an elite restaurant!”

You paled at the discovery and cleared your throat, “And that’s a big deal because?”

Martha snickered, “Girl, we’re talking about James Barnes here, a rich and eligible bachelor. It is a big deal. And ugh, I wonder who the lucky lady is! What I’d do to be her.” Martha dreamily said.

“Do you think it’s an employee here? Fuck, I’d be so envious if that girl happens to be working here!” Sophia added.

“Is that even allowed? Sounds pretty scandalous to me.” Kate chimed in.

“Oh my god. Remember the pantry incident that Janet reported? What if that was Mister Barnes and his girl? Damn, that’s juicy. It’d be horrifying if they get caught.” Kate added.

Your head felt light-headed at all the information that was going on. Hearing their conversations felt like a bucket of iced water was being poured on you. It was like a moment of a major realization.

Shit, what has gotten into you, getting all tangled up in this mess? Damn you, Tinder!

Even if Bucky agreed to take things slow, you realized that it wouldn’t really help. If news got out that you were dating the CEO of your company, you’d still receive some backlash for it.

Maybe making it official wasn’t the right thing to do. At least, not yet.

“Ladies, gossip time is over.” You announced and tried to stay calm. “And speaking of Barnes, I need to submit a report.”

You nervously knocked on Bucky’s door, hoping that he was back from his early morning meeting. You could hear him talking inside and thought that maybe he was busy.

“Come in.” He called before you could even turn around.

Slowly, you opened the door and slipped inside his office. Bucky was on his chair, talking to someone over the phone. When he saw that it was you, he quickly put his phone on mute and smiled.

“Yes, baby? What do you need?” He asked softly.

Goddammit! Bucky was surely getting used to that pet name. Initially, he’d only call you that in the throes of pleasure. But somehow, Bucky began to use it so casually that it made you nervous. What if he slipped and called you that during a meeting, in front of everyone?

You hated how Bucky was becoming soft and gentle around you, well, except maybe when he was in a certain mood. It was confusing the hell out of you. But you also enjoyed being the only one to witness his soft side.

Was his offer to make things official because he truly liked you or was the fucking that good to make him want to commit all of a sudden?

“I uhh, I think I’ll just come back later if you’re busy.” You stammered.

Bucky held up a finger and then unmuted his phone, “Hey, something important came up. I’ll call you again later.” He said and quickly ended the call before turning to you.

“You know I’m never too busy for you.” He said, his eyes the softest you’d ever seen.

There goes your heart.

“I think...” you trailed, not sure how you were going to say it.

Bucky raised his eyebrows at you, urging for you to continue. You heaved out a deep sigh. Your hands balled into fists at your side as you walked closer to his desk.

“Can we raincheck on the dinner tonight?” You asked.

Bucky frowned, “Why?”

You shrugged, “No reason.”

“Lie to me one more time and I’ll have you on my lap for some spanking.”

How the hell does Bucky do that? Become all sweet and soft and then rough and dominating all of a sudden?!

You squeezed your thighs together because the image of Bucky’s hand landing on your ass was doing things to you. You willed yourself not to give in, you came here for a reason.

“There are rumors about you. Someone heard you making dinner reservations and now everyone’s talking about it. I just...” you paused to check Bucky’s reaction but as usual, you couldn’t read his face.

“Maybe making this official isn’t...the right thing to do.”

Bucky pushed himself up from the chair slowly and stalked towards you. Was he mad? Fuck, you hoped he wasn’t. When he reached you, his hand came up to brush your cheek with his knuckles.

“What do you want then?” He asked.

Shit, you never actually thought about it. What do you want? Keep things casual between you and Bucky? Completely stop whatever it was that was going on between the two of you?

“I don’t know.” You shrugged.

“I like you.” Bucky stated and stepped back. “You’re intelligent and you don’t take shit from anyone, myself included. When you said you wanted to take things slow, I agreed to it. Hence, the flowers and dinner. Now that I’m giving it to you, you still don’t want it.”

Bucky’s livid. He was composed but the way his jaw tensed as he spoke was enough proof that he was mad, really mad. It’s his calm demeanor despite being angry that somehow scared you. The calm before the storm. What the storm was going to be? You didn’t know and honestly, you weren’t sure whether it was something that you even want to find out.

Maybe you were being confusing or indecisive but only because things happened too quickly for you to even properly process it. To think that you addressed your concerns last night, you actually that Bucky understood where your feelings were stemming from. However, it seemed to have gone over his head.

“Bucky, I don’t think you’re getting my point here.” You explained, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“If you heard what your employees have been saying about you and your...girl, you’d understand.” You said and placed your hands on your hips.

Bucky made a face, “Then make me understand. What did you hear?” he asked.

“We already talked about this last night! They’d think that the promotion was given to me because we fucked! That’s going to taint my image for the rest of my life.” You huffed out.

Bucky rubbed his face with his hand as he paced back and forth, “They’re idiots if they think of that. What do you want me to do? Give a detailed presentation why I decided to promote you? Go through your evaluation one by one? He sarcastically said.

“Oh my god, Bucky. You really don’t get it, do you?” You let out a humorless laugh.

He shrugged, “You’re confusing the hell out of me. Just tell me what the hell you want to happen.”

“Maybe I just want keep things professional.” You blurted out in the spur of the moment.

You didn’t mean it. You so didn’t mean it. Fuck. You word vomitted and now you were going to regret it.

Something in Bucky ticked, you saw it. He approached you until he was towering over your frame. It was intimidating to say the least, the way Bucky stared down at you with a blank expression on his face.

“What if I don’t want to?” Bucky asked, his eyes looking down at your lips for a quick second before moving back up to your eyes.

“I wasn’t asking for your permission.” you retorted and you’re not sure why.

Bucky exhaled through his nose and this time, you could read his face. He was fuming.

“I told you, you’re mine.” He said through gritted teeth.

The tension in the air was thick. The close proximity was making you dizzy, Bucky was so close that his scent was invading your senses. His jaw was clenched tightly as he looked down at you with piercing eyes and you were so tempted to just grab his face and kiss him and tell him that you liked him too.

But of course, your pride just had to be in the way.

“You don’t own me, Bucky. I am my own person.”

Another word vomit. You were Bucky’s the moment he laid his hands on you and you liked it.

Bucky inhaled and shrugged, loosening up before taking a step back. “So you want to keep it professional, huh?”

No.

“Yes.”

Bucky nodded, “You’re lying. I know you are. But okay then, professional it is. Let’s see how long you can keep lying to yourself.”

You watched Bucky walk back to his desk, sitting down on his chair with his arms crossed over his wide chest. His face was void of any emotion all of a sudden, he didn’t even look angry anymore and you hated how you couldn’t seem to figure him out.

“Anything else you’d like to discuss?” he asked, the professional tone of his voice sending chills down your spine, but not in a good way.

You slightly nodded, placing a folder on top of his desk before backing away. “It’s this month’s report.”

“Okay. You’re dismissed.” He casually said, grabbing the folder and skimming through your report as if you weren’t standing right in front of him.

You felt a pang of pain hit you right in the heart when he looked up at you questioningly, as if he was wondering why the fuck you still haven’t left his office. At that moment, you wanted to take back all the things you said and just give in to your damn feelings.

But would you really let your career nosedive just to be with Bucky? You weren’t sure if you were ready for that.

You straightened up and maintained a calm demeanor, “That’s all. Thanks, Bucky.”

“That’s Mister Barnes for you.”

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @i’m-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @prettyintopeerpressure @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit @bloodhon3yx @dressed-in-prada @lizette50 @thatfangirl42 @sunflowerbunny2 @unmagically @okiegirl24 @sugarpunch-princess @enlyume @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp @lyoongx @just-deka @nobody-will @jaziona92 @elisebuitron @dpaccione @suvikamahes98blr @buckybarneshairpullingkink @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes @iloveangstposts @weenersoldierr @asemistablehundredyearoldman @reidbuck @lizzarooni @girlfriday007 @bonkywobble @lost-in-the-stars03 @its-yasbxtch @whoth3hellisbucky

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@marvelslag @weird-mumbling @propertyofpoeandbucky @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @mostly-marvel-musings @squishybabies @megzdoodle @little-baby-vixen @annathesillyfriend @xhollycowx @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @5-seconds-of-mendes @gogolucky13 @countonthesun @iloveshawnieboi @learisa @borikenlove @scarlet-natasha89

#bbb writes #the match #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes smut #bucky smut #bucky barnes fluff #bucky fluff #sebastian stan

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simplysummers · 3 years

Text

Discussing Omega’s childhood on Kamino

Maybe I’m one of the only people curious about this as we’re all very hung up on Crosshair right now (understandable, I want our king back too), but I would really like a conversation between Omega and preferably Hunter, but anybody works fine, to delve into what her life was truly like on Kamino. How she was treated, raised, reprimanded, and how this all reflects on her relationship with the bad batch, and specifically in moments where their actions have fatherly intent behind them.

So, here’s what we know so far:

She was essentially raised by Nala Se.

She’s a first gen/holds unmodified Jango Fett DNA. Whether she was created at the same time as Boba, we don’t know, although it is unlikely.

Due to the fact she was unaltered, she must’ve been raised from infancy on Kamino.

She wasn’t allowed her own bedroom, so I speculate she either slept in the medical wing or had some sort of shared quarters with Nala Se.

She was frequently tested and experimented on, quite often against her will.

She was perceived to be property and nothing more than an evaluative source to help further Kaminoan research by everybody excluding Nala Se (potentially)

Her title role was a ‘medical assistant’.

She didn’t have a very warm relationship with the other clones, as we’ve seen they labelled her a “lab scrapper”.

She made friends with the existing medical staff, who were all droids.

And that is essentially it. Of course, we can make speculations, (a few of mine are: she must’ve been tormented by the other cadets for not being like them, she knew 99 and he kept her company whenever Nala Se left her alone, and that although she was educated accordingly for her medical training and basic education, she was very sheltered from things without ‘purpose’ to her life (as we all know, the Kaminoans don’t do anything without purpose) but we don’t actually know anything else about her time on Kamino!

First of all I really want to know WHY she was created. Taking into account she isn’t the same age as Boba (it’s very much suggested she isn’t, I mean she acts, looks, sounds and is treated significantly younger than Boba ever was), and Jango also didn’t request two unaltered clones, she must’ve been created a few years after Boba. Therefore, was Jango aware of her existence? And if he was, did he want her? Again, if so, what did Boba think of her? (We don’t actually see Omega’s reaction to being told she’s different, so although she might not have known of their exact relations to her, it’s very likely she could’ve potentially met Jango and Boba at some point.) So many questionsssss.

Moving on, I’d love to know more about her relationship with Nala Se. We’ve seen that the doctor has a soft spot for Omega, most definitely because she raised and grew to love her instead of deeming her a piece of property (not excusing Nala Se’s vile actions with the other clones, she can still rot, Omega has better parental figures now.), but was it always like that? Did she neglect smaller Omega for being just another clone? Before ‘Mega could show personality and differentiate herself, did Se still view her as nothing more then a test subject? How did that affect her relationship with Omega as a young child.

Speaking of which, what was Omega then like as a smaller child (hard to believe, she’s still so smol lmao), but I’m talking toddler age here. She is basically a regular person, going through regular human changes due to the fact she isn’t altered, which means she would’ve had all of those wretched toddler phases that parents dread. We can most likely assess that she was playful and curious, she still is now, bless her, but how was it received? Smaller children don’t have the complexity to understand the level of technicality that the Kaminoans work at, she wouldn’t have understood the necessity of sitting still and behaving, would she have been severely reprimanded? Was Nala Se nice to her about it? How was she raised to interpret mannerisms of other people in regards to this?

Furthermore, I want to know what tests they were performing on her too. She’s clearly important due to her first hand DNA, but before that was an asset, before the Kaminoans needed that, what were they doing to her? Why were they testing on her? How much pain was she in? Did she receive any comfort afterwards or was she expected to dry her eyes and get on with it? (I’m speculating it was the latter.) I need to know what they were doing and why. What was the purpose!

Her entire previous life is a huge mystery to us and I want to know more! And I hope I’m not the only one!

Just looking at her precious little face hurts because we know she didn’t receive the ideal childhood, if anything it was borderline abusive (I mean, not just testing on her, but the mind games the Kaminoans played with this poor kid, the fact she was well aware she was just an asset to their research and yet she constantly received mixed messages. It’s no wonder she idolised the bad batch so much; they seemed to be the only people who hadn’t either treated her like garbage at some point up until then, or died. Honestly despite the few slip ups, props to them for actually taking her in and being decent towards her.

I mean, this isn’t the purpose of this post, but just look at the comparisons.

She finally receives her own bedroom.

Said bedroom isn’t even a proper room, but they made do with what they could. She even acknowledges this and she still absolutely loves it. It’s decked out just for her with fairy lights, blankets and toys.

As said, she actually owns toys now, we don’t know if she ever did on Kamino, but I’m speculating it was most likely very few if any at all.

She has her own weaponry and equipment, she’s actually being assisted to defend herself and her squad, she’s gaining knowledge the Kaminoans wouldn’t have ever dreamed of giving her.

As we’ve seen with the amount of times she runs to Hunter for protection, she trusts them immensely. They’re doing everything right to gain her apprehensive trust so quickly.

And of course it isn’t just with Hunter (I’m a stan so pardon my consistency with bringing him up) but she’s the same with the entire batch, even Cross to a very mild extent! She trusts Wrecker with her life, she forgave him so easily after the Bracca incident because she knows the difference between someone purposefully trying to hurt her and them having no control over their actions.

We see she’s been patient with Echo and Tech, she loves to listen to them, she’s picked up on Tech’s dialect (as seen in episode seven) and she trusts him to help her whenever necessary, she has such a touching bond with Echo too, their little interactions melt my heart.

I could rant for hours about her bond with Hunter, so maybe that should be it’s own post at some point, but honestly just how she always seeks him out specifically for comfort, protection and reassurance. It’s so beautiful.

The way she’s addressed Crosshair over their few co-existent moments too. She’s tried to reassure him it isn’t his fault, because she knows it isn’t, she trusts him because she has no reason not too, everything he’s done and said to her hasn’t been within his control.

These are all severely different reactions to how she responds to both the Kaminoans on planet, whenever they’re mentioned, and from what we know in regards to how they treated her.

I’m repeating myself from a previous post here but honestly petition to give Megs all the hugs in the universe. She deserves ‘em. 💛

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phantaloon-books · 4 years

Text

Things about Tower of Nero that I want to highlight to remember them forever:

Lu being an absolute badass woman, I just love her too much

Piper McClean being canon wlw, she was actually kissing another girl, we really fell in love in october

Chaos being canonically female (just chaos being mentioned as a deity rather than what's below tartarus)

nobody DIED, like no one on the good side at least?? yes plenty of beings have died throughout TOA, but nobody died in TON?? so many died in TLO and BOO, I expected to mourn someone and I didn't have too??! it made me so happy

solangelo. that's it. solangelo makes me happy.

will being incredibly supportive of nico, and instead of stopping him, going with him on dangerous adventures because he doesn't want to leave him alone. also them treating Nico's PTSD for what it is

WILL SOLACE CANONICALLY GLOWS IN THE DARK. HE'S A GLOWSTICK BABY.

also will just appearing at the gates of the throne room, glowing in rage because someone touched his boyfriend (and tried to kill his dad), and him just marching through everyone (everyone else letting him), just to pick up his hurt precious boyfriend and take care of him.

meg McCaffrey got her happy ending. she's baby, she deserves her family and her happy ending. also Lu being the mother and the 12 children being siblings?? that's one hell of a way to tell nero to fuck off and right his mistakes. we love meg.

dionysus being the best olympian after apollo. the duo content we needed, and now will never get

nico mentioning bob and how he wants to go look for him, because he can still be in tartarus

rachel still being a Total badass and hitting people in the eye with her blue hairbrush thus being iconic

meg acting as lester's anchor and only reason why he didn't let go of the ledge, not falling into chaos, is top tier 'reasons why I cried reading', because if you think about it, Meg is the first ever friend apollo ever had, and them being best friends is everything to me

also apollo choosing to go looking as lester rather than apollo because lester feels like home is on top tier 'reasons why I cried reading' too

again, the only thing apollo did in the end (once he was god again) that could be described as 'godly' was be in several places at once, fly his chariot, and get meg her unicorn

but apollo shooting fucking fire out of his hands is crazy asf, it was so cool. he really got amazing godly powers this book.

rick being bold enough to showcase abusive parenting knowing that a huge porcentage of his readers are minors, helping many realize that they could be in abusive households, and giving them a tool to reach out for help

apollo defeating nero was so satisfactory, because you realize in the end, that nero wasn't really a monster, he was monstrous, but still very much human (if only with some godly power), and pretty useless once he couldn't hide behind props and weapons, his being wasn't powerful, he was just under layers of protection

the jackson/blofis scene was so warm and loving, they really are willing to put their family in danger, baby estelle in danger, to help 'percy's friends' even tho she knew percy didn't like apollo, but she still takes in everyone who needs help, and paul being a loving and accepting husband

sally working on her SECOND novel, she really is having her best life

none of the big heroes from other series having protagonism, besides nico and will, instead giving the other kids from camp halfblood their chance to show they're just as worthy as the "heroes of olympus"

(still I would have loved to see a scene with everyone else, like the heroes of olympus guys, fighting together one last time, just for nostalgia's sake - I legit hoped to see percy and annabeth arriving with chiron in triumvirate tower, but yeah)

the arrow of dodona may have been a dumb, cringey, and slightly ridiculous thing at first, and I personally rolled my eyes everytime it said anything, but it knew what would happen from the start, and without its sacrifice, apollo would have achieved nothing. we stan one arrow

nico wearing a white cowboy hat. idky but it makes my heart swell with joy. he a gay cowboy

y'all know I love Apollo's arch, and I just gotta point this out. his trials, his time as lester, started with him falling to earth, and ended with him getting up after purposely throwing himself off the earth, towards tartarus, almost falling to chaos. that's really clever writing.

the olympians watching over him, and some actually being concerned for him rather than his progress.

poseidon not really giving a fuck about the world or council meetings anymore because percy's not there anymore

athena being the only one apart from artemis who trusted apollo could do it makes me warm fsr

lester deciding that the best way to retell his adventures is by singing is hilarious to me, he really thinks it'll solve everything

Grover not telling percy and annabeth jason died seems so funny to me, he really said "nah it doesn't matter much, field trip, yes"

"hey man" my heart broke in twenty million pieces. like I don't know where I expected to see jason. but that wasn't it. and it hurt me as much as it hurt apollo man.

(also I kinda hoped we would see nico summon his spirit or smth, but I'm actually happy nico realized that jason went by his own choice, and he was in peace, so he decided not to summon him, because it was alright. that hurt too)

kinda love how lester passes out after literally every battle. it reminds you that even tho he's apollo, his body isn't. I'm sure we all would pass out too if we did a quarter of what lester did in the span of 4 days. his body isn't made to endure that, it doesn't even have a halfblood endurance, it's a weak mortal body

the trogs were fucking hilarious. their screeches and grrs, idk there's something ridiculous and so childish about them, it's so fun

really happy that apollo never had a /real/ love interest (reyna doesn't count), cause that wasn't what his story was about. instead he got to make so many friends, and have quality time with them and his children, it's amazing

apollo being thankful people were telling him he'd grown, and was more human, because he realized that was the best thing he could have learned from his time as a mortal

also him saying fuck you man to zeus and his speech, like "no asshole dad, I did learn, I'm not going to see this as punishment, it was a great time in which bad things happened but I enjoyed it." yes, we love apollo not letting zeus win

getting to see what everyone will do now. nico and will figuring out rachel's prophecy, probs saving bob. rachel living her best life away from her parents. leo doing what leo does, always helping those who have no one else. the hunters' open storyline about this fox, possibly hinting at content? piper settling down in a quiet life is what she deserves tbh, she's earned quiet life with a cute gf, wish her the best. Frank and hazel being the best praetors, and I bet they will continue to be so. And annabeth and percy, who chose their happiness over all, at last

kinda wish we got to see someone still really miss jason after apollo becomes god again tho lmao like apollo missed jason more than the others, nico and piper being the exception. I mean, leo is fine and dandy, hazel and frank are okay, percy and annabeth are done mourning... I just we got to see any of them really mourning, rather than reading they mourned. it would have made it feel more emotional

the last conversation and the last words in general. "the sun always comes back" and "we're friends now. call on me. I'll be there for you" that shit got me sobbing my heart out. rick really managed to do right by the books and end it like he should have, unlike BOO. he took what made TLO good and used a similar formula. it's very different from "and for once I didn't look back", but it still fills you with warmth and the feeling that even though it's over, it's okay.

I'm just really emotional, this is all I can think about, but you bet I'm gonna add more when I remember

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pencilscratchins · 3 years

Note

rebecca PLEASE could you share more details about your bo-katan/fennec headcannons? sincerely, a lesbian dying to write fanfic of star wars wlw who was delighted by your clone wars zine

the entire purpose of that zine, actually, was to scam people into getting invested in fennec/bo katan so they get more content made SKSKS

so, fennec and bo are both in their mid to late 20′s around the events of the Clone Wars, and we know that by the time of the Bad Batch, fennec is already a pretty established mercenary. i feel like fennecs one of those people who’s always just been competent and straightforward-- at the same time, she clearly got a sense of irony sksks.

bo katan is clearly already a member of the death watch, which means they both are running in the circles of the Shadow Collective.

i’m thinking they probably met when fennec is hired for a job that corresponds with a Death Watch mission; fennec’s probably contracted to take a hit out on someone they’re also tracking, and since pre vizsla just wants the job done, he’s like “we’re all work together” but tells bo katan to keep a close eye on fennec.

(actual fic writers, I’m sure, can create a real mission for them but i am a village idiot and therefore, simply present what few beans i can grow in the barren soil that is my brain)

personality wise, they aren’t exactly compatible LMAO bo katan is... well Bo Katan All The Time, which is not exactly easy to hang with lMAOO. fennec thinks she’s a self righteous hard ass; and bo katan thinks fennec is a disrespectful dick.

that does not change the fact that there is 100% very thick sexual tension between the two of them.

like, we know canonically that bo katan can be a little flirty and you think that she’s gonna be around 1990’s ming na wen and be able to not flirt with her once? i know shes a strong woman, but she’s still human, damn

so they don’t like each other, but boy golly, do they end up pressed against a lot of walls in tense situations, or arguing in very close quarters. and i mean, they both got competency kinks clearly. and they do fight well together- bo is confrontational and fennec doesn’t miss a shot, so they’re sorta unstoppable.

they complete that mission and don’t hook up yet (maybe they kiss idk) but pre vizsla is impressed by fennec so he considers her an ally, and tells her to contact them if she ever needs back up and shes like “i dont ever need back up.

bo kinda thinks that’s the end of it, they likely wont ever meet again, but after that mission: they keep running into each other. on missions, in bars, in jail, one memorable time.

After maybe the third or fourth time they run into each other, fennec makes a move to which bo is like “i’m not interested in a relationship with you. i dont even like you as a person,” and fennec’s like “??? who said anything about liking each other, are you or are you not trying to bone?” and that’s a pretty salient point so then they bone

~ romance ~

like they’re not enemies to lovers, they’re just nemesis's AND lovers LMAOO

Then on out, they hook up anytime they see each other and over the years, things soften between them. they never want anything more, relationship wise, but they become something resembling friends.

that’s just the nature of knowing someone that long, i think. fennec sees bo mourn her sister, bo sees fennec get seriously hurt on the job for the first time; they see each other through the beginnings of the purge and the war. sex becomes less about getting in and out of there fast, and they start hanging out afterwards. talking.

eventually, they are friends. But they’re still living two very separate lives; bo katan has to face life after the mandalorian purge and becomes more and more certain of her need to reclaim the throne of mandalore. fennec’s jobs are coming more and more from the empire and she’s doesn’t feel right about seeing bo after those jobs. besides, her reputations growing and suddenly, she’s a hot ticket assassin.

they drift apart and lose contact- it happens. there’s a war going on. neither like to think of it for too long, honestly.

Cut to, Din introducing his group of vaugbounds to each other and bo being like “we’ve met, :/” Din’s like “??” fennec’s just happily like “oh, we boned on and off for like 15 years. What’s cracking, bo?”

#actualbabe #THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THIS OPPORTUNITY #I THINK THEY WOULD BE VERY SASTIFYING TOGETHER TO ME #SPECIFICALLY ME #not enough wlw ships are like we sort of hate each other #but we DO bone #its the dua lipa song good in bed thats what were going for #i think they could have a real relationship too if you wanted that #but this dynamic is also very good #long post #fennec x bo katan #bo katan x fennec #ask #not art #head canon

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bluemusickid · 3 years

Note

Hi! I hope you're doing well 🥰 Can you I request one where Steve breaks reader's arm or leg by mistake during training and has to take care of her afterwards? Definitely won't mind if some smut is added 😅 Thank you!!

OMFGGGG MY FAV WRITER SENT AN ASK ASDFGHJKL (Also full disclosure: this has been one of my kinks for a while :P)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Warnings: slow burn (just a tad), 18+, SMUTTTT, unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy), did I mention NSFW? Read at your own risk.

A/N: I would like to thank @imdarkinme for sending in this AMAZING ask! She’s a doll and I’ve been a fan of her writing for so long!! I would also like to thank @donutloverxo for converting me to a Steve Stan loool. I wanted him to be a bit dark here, but in the end his dorky side won. :P Without further ado, I hope you enjoy!! Send in your requests here and you can join my taglist here (or you could just send an ask lmao)! Thanks!

I post my stuff only on AO3 and here, nowhere else.

The Learning Curve

You groaned as you got up from the mat, yet again. It was dumb of you to ask Captain Rogers to train with you. As a new recruit, you’d obviously wanted to impress him; he was the leader of the Avengers after all. There was only one tiny problem you forgot to factor in: the man was a Super Soldier, while you were...not.

“Come on, get up! We still have two rounds to go!” a voice bellowed from above you.

You mentally cursed at the voice. You’d tried to not let it affect you, but like many others, you had a bit of a crush on the Captain. But it wasn’t solely because of his looks, it was more about his passion to help and save and to protect. He was always so passionate, it was hard to keep away(which was a fiercely guarded secret). You felt like Icarus, when you were with him.

Getting up, you tried to block his punches, while getting in a few yourself. It was impossible, the man was a champ. You saw your opening, however, when he seemed to be distracted by someone approaching him from behind you. Seeing this as a golden opportunity to catch him off guard, you threw a punch aiming for his face. Unfortunately, he blocked the punch and pushed you, to ward you off. It seemed as if he too, forgot that he was a Super Soldier, pushing you a bit too hard.

You screamed as you fell to the ground, twisting to save your face, your arm breaking your fall. Your suspicions were confirmed as you tried to move your arm but couldn’t. Steve heard you yelp and rushed to your side, carefully inspecting your injured appendage. You squealed as he touched your arm, the pain indescribable. Steve whispered his apologies a million times, trying to haul you up by your waist, in vain. Finally, he gave up and picked you up bridal style, like you weighed nothing.

You gasped, partially out of pain, but mostly out of surprise at the sudden move.

“Umm...Cap..tain..I..can..walk..” you stuttered, unable to keep the pain out of your voice.

He looked into your eyes and smiled, shaking his head. Oh dear lord. This man truly was gorgeous. Nearing the MedBay, he slowly placed you on the bed, his mouth tantalisingly close to yours as he lowered you onto the surface. You never realised how blue his eyes were, which at the moment were filled to the brim with anxiety and some other emotion; which you couldn’t quite place your finger on. Deciding you were probably delirious from the pain, you tried to focus on what the doctor was telling you.

“...so you’ll have to be on constant bedrest for the next two weeks before we can check again to see if you need a rod put in.”

“Err, I’m sorry doc, what?” you mumbled apologetically, embarrassed by your thoughts.

“As I was telling Captain Rogers, you seem to have a hairline fracture in your ulna, which could require support. You need to rest and take it easy for at least two weeks. Training will have to be put on hold, and I suggest you call a family member to take care of you in the meantime.” the doctor said, scribbling notes.

“Oh, that..won’t be necessary. I can do stuff on my own, I’ll be very careful.” you said with a grimace, not wanting to seem weaker in front of Steve.

“That’s not gonna happen.” Steve said, firmly. “She’ll stay in my quarters. It’s the least I can do after breaking her arm.”

You stared at him, a million things going through your head. You and him, in the confines of a room, alone. Oh no. This was going to be torturous in more way than one.

“Oh no no no, Captain. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t like to impose. Plus, I’m feeling better already! I’m sure it’s more than manageable. Please..I..I’ll be okay, really.” you rushed, pretty sure that your voice was betraying just how fast your heart was beating.

Steve smirked. “This isn’t up for debate. Plus, I’m sure it would be easier for the others to check up on you when we’re away on missions.” he said, taking the prescription from the doctor.

You winced as he helped you up from the bed, the warmth of his hand making you hyperaware about what your life was gonna be like for 2 weeks. You sighed. It was gonna be a loooong two weeks.

-------

You realised after a week that your worries had all been for naught. Steve was an excellent caretaker. He made sure you took all your medicines at the right time, ate properly and rested enough. He was also a thorough gentleman, always calling a lady nurse when you needed to take a shower or get dressed; really respected your boundaries. But you couldn’t deny the shift in his behaviour towards you. At first, you felt like you were reading into it too much, but then it started to get more noticeable. They were little things, but it meant so much. He would insist on having lunch with you, no matter if you were quiet or chatty; Steve always was there. He brought your favourite blanket from your chambers to make sure you felt more comfortable. At night, he would make sure you were comfortable, get you hot chocolate, maybe even sit next to you till you fell asleep. One time, he held your hand till you drifted off; but you were sure that you felt him leave a small peck on your cheek as you nodded off.

If you weren’t falling for him earlier, you sure as hell were now.

------

After hitting the two week mark, you went to the doctor again for a checkup. All seemed well, there was no need for a rod to be put in but the cast would have to stay on. Steve was there throughout the appointment, listening intently at everything the doctor said with his full focus. It was quite distracting and kinda hot, and you couldn’t help but sneak glances at him periodically. On one occasion, he caught your eye and grinned, catching you in the act. You wished the ground would swallow you up just then: this man fully well knew that you had a crush on him and was enjoying messing with you.

You nearly gasped as you felt his hand on your shoulder, guiding you to the lift. Something was different today. Steve seemed buoyant, which was very out of character for him.

“The nurse isn’t available today, she had some prior commitments. If it’s ok with you, I’ll be taking care of you tonight.” he said, softly. You gulped, his tone messing with your train of thought.

“Uh, that’s ok, I can manage things for a night. I’ve already imposed on you quite a bit and don’t want to create more of a hassle.”

Steve smiled. “Sweetheart, you’ve not been a hassle, trust me. It felt nice having you around, I enjoy your companionship. Just a few weeks more and you can get rid of me.” he said, with a mischievous grin. You groaned inwardly; this man was driving you nuts.

“Oh no, I really liked staying with you. You’re great company! I don’t think I want to get rid of you, ha.” you said in a flourish, mentally cursing yourself for being such a blabbering fool around him.

Steve looked at you, his eyes darkening. He stepped closer to you, opening his mouth to say something, but the elevator seemed to sense the tension rife in the air and opened at that exact moment. You both snapped out of the haze you were in with Steve beckoning you to his quarters, his hand resting softly on your back.

Back in your room, you realised you needed to take your nightly shower. You were about to call for the nurse, when you remembered that she wasn’t gonna come. Shit. You’d have to call Steve to help with your sling. Closing your eyes, you sighed before you walked to his room, praying to God that you would get through this. Just go in, get the brace off, and get out, you whispered to yourself. With that mantra in mind, you hesitantly knocked on his door. A muffled ‘come in’ reached you, and you timidly entered the lion’s den.

Steve was tinkering with the laptop, clearly engrossed in some work. You felt guilty disturbing him, but it was kind of an emergency.

“Is everything ok?”

“Yes, I..just needed some help with my sling; I tried to take it off, but it’s not coming off. Can you..unfasten it? I’ll be out of your hair in no time..”

Wordlessly, Steve sauntered over to you, turning you around to face the wall. Softly, his fingers undid the clasp of the sling, pulling the straps off your neck, his fingers grazing over your skin gently. You jerked, surprised by the small currents you felt with these small touches. Turning you around, he helped you take your arm out of the sling, his hands accidentally brushing the sides of your breasts. You didn’t dare make eye contact with him; you were sure you would say or do something you would regret later on.

“All done.” he whispered, his eyes not leaving yours. You realised he was merely inches away from your lips; the proximity driving you crazy.

“Thanks.” you mumbled, wanting to run out of the room.

“Are you going to bed? Do you need anything to drink?”

“Yes, I was just gonna head to bed after my shower.”

“You can shower here. I’d be able to keep an eye on you then and you won’t have to worry about any mishaps. See? Win-win.” he said with a grin.

You were about to decline his offer but stopped when he held up his hand. “You need to stop thinking that you’re a burden on me. I like doing things for you, it makes me feel like I’m not totally alone. These two weeks have undoubtedly been one of the best weeks in my life. I like you, and I know you like me. I just want to show you how much I care for you in my own, peculiar ways.” he said, taking your hand in his, drawing patterns on your knuckles softly.

Your mind raced with all the information. You never knew Steve felt this way, he was always so taciturn. Your gaze flitted to his face, his eyes darkening the way they did in the morning. He didn’t need words to convey what his eyes said; he felt the same way you did about him.

You melted as he raised your hand to his lips, placing a kiss which felt like petals grazing your skin. Leaning down, his lips inched closer to yours, his breath tickling your face.

“Tell me if I should stop, and I will.” he whispered.

You waited a beat before making your decision. Raising your lips to his, you touched his lips slightly before murmuring, “don’t stop.”

And that was it. You were lost in the maelstrom of emotions that was Steve kissing you. It started off sweet, with Steve engulfing your lips within his, taking his time to make sure you were enjoying. It turned heated the moment you ran your fingers through his hair, gently tugging on it. Steve ran his tongue over you, begging for entrance. You moaned and opened your mouth, prompting him to unite his tongue with yours, as if to memorise every inch of you. You broke apart, the need for air greater than your desire.

He picked you up and carried you to the bed, placing you on it carefully. Being extremely careful, he pulled off your tee, eyes widening as he took in your bare chest. Kneeling in front of you, he took off your sweatpants and your underwear, leaving soft but searing kisses at every inch of skin he exposed. You sharply inhaled, already feeling yourself get wet even though he hadn’t even touched you properly.

Lowering you to the bed tenderly, he made sure your arm was resting comfortably, placing a pillow underneath the appendage. Placing his hand next to your head, he kissed you deeply, pouring every emotion he felt into that kiss. You moaned as you felt his lips trail lower, leaving kisses along your neck, laving your pulse point. Moving lower, he kissed your breasts, leaving small bites along the way. Taking a swollen nub in his mouth, he sucked on it while massaging the other, prompting you to groan and run your uninjured hand through his hair, wanting him inside you.

While he moved his attention to your other breast, he trailed his fingers down your body, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He finally reached his destination, his fingers soft against your wet nether region.

“Steve, please..I need you..” you whispered in urgency. His intrepid fingers found your swollen nub and circled; gently at first, and then with more intensity. Moving lower, his digits swirled around your wet lips, before plunging into your tight channel. You gasped as he began thrusting, his knuckles bumping along your front wall, hitting your sweet spot. You had to refrain from arching your back, instead relegating to pulling his head down for a kiss. He increased his speed, adding another finger once he sensed how close you were. You shrieked as you reached your peak, breaking apart from the kiss.

As you opened your eyes, recovering from your orgasm, you saw Steve look at you, an unspoken question in his deep blue eyes. You nodded, cupping his cheek, running your thumb over his soft, soft skin. You don’t know what power he wielded over you, but it didn’t matter. You had no qualms being caught in this spell he wove.

Shedding his clothes, he returned to his place, widening your spread legs with his torso. Sitting back on his heels, he took in your body, his gaze running over every curve, every stretch mark, every beauty spot on your body. Taking his hard member in his hand, he gave a few strokes before lowering himself, running his nose against yours. He ran his tip along your wet folds before plunging into you in one swift move. You gasped and closed your eyes, your head falling back against the pillow. He gave you time to adjust to his size, your walls snug against him. After a moment, he began moving, careful to not move your arm. He started off slow, making sure you felt every inch of him. You hooked your legs around his hips, urging him to move faster. He took the hint, his pace increasing with each thrust. The coil in your belly was tightening and you could feel yourself hurtling towards completion for the second time. Running your hand along his back, your hand made it’s way to his ass, pushing down, begging him for more. Steve held himself up, looking deeply into your eyes, as he sped up his thrusts. You could feel him within you, each thrust hitting your weak spot over and over again.

You screamed his name as you reached your peak, your legs tightening around him; wrapping yourself around him like a vine. He was close too, his thrusts now becoming frantic as he was chasing his end. Your walls contracting around him set off his orgasm as he moaned, spilling every last drop of himself inside you. You both panted, as he dropped his head on your chest, trying to catch his breath. You both stayed like that for a while as you ran your fingers through his scalp, enjoying the feel of his weight on yours.

There were many things to talk about, sure.

But for now, this was more than enough.

-----

Tags: @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @donutloverxo @worksby-d @gotnofucks @imdarkinme @chris-butt @ozarkthedog

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captainrexisboo · 3 years

Text

Shameless Flirt

Hey hoes! I’m (partially) back!!!

I had a sudden burst of writing inspo. I am very excited to finally give y’all my long awaited Hevy X Reader fic!! I loved writing this, Hevy was so fun to get into the head of. I was going to post this yesterday but then (of course, right as I wanted to start posting again lmao) Life Happened aHA-

Anyways! The Reader Is A Lady (although, it’s not really specified aside from she/her pronouns. still tagging it as female reader though)! No warnings apply, just a lot of flirty banter and a bit of smoochin! Reblogs, replies, and comments are highly encouraged. I love hearing from y’all! Enjoy!!!

Technically, it was your day off. However, being the workaholic you were, and bored just sitting in your quarters, you decided the best course of action was to pick up some things you had left at one of your workstations in the ARC training sector...like the stopping point of your last project. You waved and smiled past the guards and troopers patrolling the halls, the vode knew you so it’s not like they were surprised when you strolled through the stark fluorescent halls in your lounging civvies you brought from Corrie. It’s not like you didn’t do this every other off day. It’s not like they haven’t tried to stop you- but not even ARC Commander Blitz could give you orders to go relax as you hunch over another blaster, detonator, or even some type of launcher, without you grinning like a cheeky loth-cat, “I am relaxing, Commander.”

After the first few months of working alongside Blitz, he came to understand that nothing was going to come between you and your work. At least nothing short of the consequence of you kicking and screaming all the way back to your quarters. So he let you be. “Don’t mind her, boys, that’s just our weapons tech. She’s always at the armory, or here in the target range. Think of her as a part of the training- don’t you dare get distracted.” Every new batch of ARC-trainees got told the same thing, and everytime you’d smirk into your work with a casual but polite wave over your shoulder, not even bothering to look back-

“And what about after training, Commander, will she still be ‘distracting’ up here?”

-until today. His shameless intention laced his words, and you could feel his eyes run up and down the curve of your spine, following the shape of your legs. You stood straight from your bent position over the standing turret, turning around with an unimpressed brow as you cocked out a hip, “I sure will, but you’ve got curfew to make, trooper.”

It was easy to single out the flirt, even if they were all wearing helmets. There were five trainees this time, four of them had their shoulders shaking as they choked back giggles with varying snorts and fake coughs at their brother’s expense. The one second from the end to your right seemed taken aback by your retort, spine stiff, and visor still looking at you dead on. You slid your eyes over to where Blitz was sighing and shaking his head, taking as step forward as he ordered, “Fives, thump your brother’s helmet for me.”

“Aye, sir,” Fives managed to breathe out the two syllables without breaking, but needing to clear his throat before swatting the upside of the flirt’s head, effectively taking his gaze off of you and immediately to the floor. Blitz made his way across the room to stand in front of the trooper, and even though they were the same height, Blitz carried himself in a way that made him seem to loom over the younger soldier.

“CT-782, you said your name was Hevy, right?”

“Yes sir,” Hevy confirmed, voice coming out low, in a natural huskiness some clones seemed to have, as he stood even straighter, trying to mimic the Commander’s practiced stance. Blitz nodded a couple times, humming sagely- you recognized this though. He wasn’t thinking at all, he was just adding tension, the dramatic bastard. You couldn’t help but scoff silently at his demeanor as he took an inhale before continuing.

“I’ve read up about you and your brothers, soldier. The outpost at Rishi, getting recruited into the 501st, your entire batch surviving every fray, hells I just saw all five of you in action during the Separatist invasion just a couple days ago,” Blitz took a moment to exhale, something that could have been mistaken for a sound of intrigue, “You no doubt deserve to be here. An entire batch making it to ARC training? This hasn’t been done since the last batch made specifically to be ARCs themselves. But son-” in the pause, now you could never be sure, but you were positive in that moment you heard the grating clicking of Hevy grinding his teeth at the term, “-I don’t recommend playing with fire. Lucky as you all have been, even in ARC armor, you’ll get burned.”

Hevy stole a glance back at you, to which you gave him a mock salute with your screwdriver and a delightfully crooked smirk before turning back to your work.

Instead of taking his Commander’s words to heart as a warning, he took them as a challenge. From that day on, whenever he found himself in the same room as you (provided Blitz wasn’t there to reprimand him) he would try his hand to win you over. Admittedly, it was very fun to trade bouts of wit with him. He was a cocky brute, but held a sharp tongue. His hot-headedness made it especially entertaining to get him all riled up, teasing him back, only to give him a flick on the nose or a poke on his chest plate. Hell, there was one time you went as far as squeezing his bicep. Specializing in weaponry, especially the heavy duty kind, his arms were definitely impressive. How could you not take that chance?

On the slower days, when he was too tired to even run his eyes over you, he’d still find you hunched over your workspace in the armory to watch you perform your task of the day. An arms specialist finding interest in a weapons technician’s work? Shocker. Still, being surrounded by the blasters and countless ammo and bombs in the armory, listening to the gentle clicks of your tinkering and watching your fingers go through repeating nimble motions over metal plates and little rivets did seem to put him at ease after a rough day. It was something you could much too easily relate to. Over the course of Domino squad’s ARC training, those days where he gave you quiet, warm company were your favorite.

Today was not one of those days.

You had been given a new assignment, transferring from the training base...to travel with the Domino squad once they graduated in the next few days. And it seems like they just got the message too. You rolled your eyes as you heard his low whistle from across the room, but from the safety of being turned around you couldn’t help a sly grin take over your face.

“And what, praytell,” Hevy’s gruff voice fills the armory as his boots echoed off the walls with their weighted falls, like you could hear the sway in his step to the beat of his walk, getting closer to you as you continued to lean over your work table, “Did the Domino ARCs do to get a pretty little thing like you to be our weapons technician?”

“Oi, leave her alone, Hevy,” ever the gentleman, Echo tried to ‘defend your honor’ from the shameless flirt as he walked in not a moment later, “Unless you want her to issue herself for a transfer to a different band of ARCs? Keep talking to her like she’s some meat pie, see where it gets you.”

“Awh, thank you, Echo,” you cooed over your shoulder before pushing up your goggles to give Hevy a sugar-coated pout, “Eat shit, Hevy.”

Hevy knew this game, taking his helmet off he shot you a charming wink, before turning to his brother, “What other ‘band of ARCs’? We’re the only notable ones, all the other ARCs are in CO positions, or are riding it solo and getting contracted to separate battalions for separate missions every day! We’re the only full squad of-“

“Half a squad,” Echo interrupted, taking off his helmet to shoot his brother a criticizing arch of his brow, “You realize a full squad is nine soldiers, right? This stuff has been drilled into us since decanting-”

“Then why do they call us the Domino squad?”

“Rolls off the tongue better than Domino batch,” you grumbled into your work, slipping your goggles back on and trying to focus amidst their conversation, “Look, are y’all actually here for something, or-?”

You trailed off, continuing your practiced movements as you waited for an answer. Hevy leaned next to you on the table, careful not to jostle it, or you, with his weight. He had learned that lesson the hard way...some nights his shin still throbbed with the memory.

“We’re gonna celebrate, not just the graduation, but now with you getting to tag along!” Hevy’s unusual cheeriness made you pause in your work. You turned to him, about to say something when he continued, “And we want you to join in the celebration too, mesh’la.”

You blinked at him, surprised by his offer. Sure, you were friendly to the troopers, and Hevy seems to have gotten especially comfortable around you, but you didn’t think they’d want to invite you to something as special as that. You pulled the goggles completely off your head, setting down your tools as you turned around to lean against your table, “I’ll bite. What’s the catch?”

Echo and Hevy looked between themselves, before glancing at you with mirroring expressions of confusion.

“Why do you want me to join?” you elaborated, bringing up a hand to count on your fingers, “You wouldn’t want me there unless you had a reason for me to join, what is it? Contraband liquor? Snacks? Do you want me to secure the armory for the get together so you don’t have to have it in the barracks, or my quarters, or what?”

“The catch,” Hevy took a careful step into your space, mimicking your new pose, giving you an amused if not surprised smile, “is for you to have fun, not surrounded by guns and ammo.”

“And that’s coming from Hevy,” Echo scoffed, but agreeing with a wide shrug of his shoulders as he crossed his arms. You looked between the two of them as the moment stretched out for what felt like a lifetime… for Hevy at least. All the times he spent with you, all the terrible flirting and unashamed eyeing- he really wanted you to join. He could feel sweat begin to creep down his neck, the longer he waited for a response, swallowing down a gulp of dry air as his gaze flicked nervously over to Echo. Echo simply rolled his eyes- all of Domino Squad knew about Hevy’s true feelings for you. It was hard not to take notice when Hevy was just, well, like that. But they never seemed to learn about Hevy’s quiet times in here with you, how you two would partake in silent togetherness, finding peace in each other’s company. Not that Hevy was embarrassed, far from it, but he liked having that little piece to himself. Of course, he wanted more of you to himself, but for now those comforting silences while you built and rebuilt blasters were enough for him, because they were enough for you.

You kept your gaze neutral as you weighed the option of joining in your mind. It was far from a bad option, you liked this batch. They had been through a lot together, loved and protected each other like brothers should, and along with Hevy they accepted you as one of their own. What was one night?

“Yeah, alright,” you looked between the two ARCs, a grin forming as you stole a glance at Hevy, “I’ll join in. When is it?”

Hevy could jump for joy at your agreement, but he was still leaning on your workspace. Instead he smiled wide, tattooed cheeks crinkling parallel to the corners of his eyes, letting out a relieving breath, “Tomorrow night, the eve of our first deployment as ARCs. Be at our bunks at 1930…and if you do have any liquor-”

“Hevy-”

“Of course I have liquor,” you interrupt Echo’s chiding with a wink to the heavy gunner, bringing your forefinger up to trace Hevy’s jawline, gliding along the sharp edge, the pad of your fingertip calloused from years of work, and swelling with pride at how his dark eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into your teasing touch. Coming off with a playful tap to the tip of his chin, his eyes snapped open at your sultry chuckle, “See you tomorrow, soldier.”

You turned back to your work, slipping your goggles on a final time, but not before a quick and casual wave over your shoulder, “Later, Echo.”

Echo couldn’t figure out your mood toward Hevy worth a damn. He looked between your aloof manners and Hevy’s moony grin, deciding it just wasn’t worth trying to pick your brain at, partially because he was smart enough not to get involved, but also he wasn’t certain he’d be able to stomach the answer. Catching his brother's eyes, he made a discreet gagging motion to him before fitting his helmet back on and walking out the door, “See you, techie.”

Hevy stayed back a bit longer, continuing to watch you work. He was completely quiet, but his silence was deafening. You breathed out a huff of laughter, the tops of your ears beginning to heat up at his attention, wetting your lips, “Well?”

“Hm? Well what?” he shook himself out of his stupor, blinking back into time at your voice.

“Are you gonna leave now n’ let me work?” You cursed inwardly at your harsh words. You liked Hevy, deep down he was a real sweetheart, but you always found yourself being so coarse to him. Thankfully, he was as much of a hardhead as he was a hothead, and he met your indifferent glare with a devilish grin that made your heart jump doubletime.

“No, I think I’m gonna sit right here and watch your lovely hands make something amazing.”

“Amazing?” you scoff, shaking your head at his compliment, “I’m just fixing up another DC-15A that some cadet broke. You need to head to the med station if you think that’s amazing. We both know the Z-6 rotary is far superior-”

“When you’re done with it, it’ll be the best DC-15A in the GAR,” Hevy interrupted, eyes shifting between your face and your hands, “Everything you do is amazing.”

You stopped what you were doing at the genuinity that filled his praise. He always spoke to you with a hint of truth, a bit of heartfelt sincerity to make his easy way of speaking more personal to you, more interesting. But there was something in his expression, maybe the dreamlike haze filling the depths of his eyes, or the way that his accent rolled off his tongue that had you placing your palms flat on the table before speaking low to him, “Hevy, what are you doing?”

“I thought I was pretty clear,” he shrugged with a sideways grin, still careful of the lean on your table, “I’m watching you. You’ve let me before-”

“I mean with the…” you gestured to his full self, keeping your eyes on your now resting project, “The whole...flirting thing.”

You caught him off-guard. The two of you have been at it for months now, but neither of you had ever said or acknowledged anything about it. It was like a silent pact between the two of you, continue the performance, but don’t mention the game. To suddenly come out of the unsaid arrangement, Hevy felt himself draw back, slowly lifting his weight off the table, “Do you...not like it? I mean I figured that you...you know, you’ve always responded…”

You couldn’t believe it. After always having something to say, being able to trade quips, building a friendship over the shared banter and ripostes, the fearless ARC trooper you’ve seen grow so much these past few months was babbling out broken sentences at a single question.

“I can stop, if you’d like.”

It was that whispered phrase that brought you back into the moment, turning to him with burning cheeks, “I didn’t say that.”

“Well then what do you want?” He took a step into your space, brow set and a jaw flexing as he frustratingly tried to understand your sudden shift, “We’ve been...flirting-” the word left him like he was saying it for the first time, each syllable carefully leaving his lips- “since the day I met you. Mesh’la, if you don’t like it, say something! We’re about to go to work together, travelling the galaxy for a long time-”

“Exactly,” you countered, poking at his chest as you stood defiantly to him, tearing off your goggles and mussing your hair off to the side, “Whatever this is, are we gonna continue it? Continue dancing around each other like some kind of goddamned soap opera where everyone but us gets off on our own self-denial?”

“Self-denial?” Hevy repeats, an incredulous sound leaving his chest as you saw a fire spark behind his stare, “Sweetheart, I’m not denying anything, especially things I haven’t been asked!”

“Alright then, fine!” Somewhere down the conversation, your voices had raised to shouting in the small space, even as you two stood almost nose to nose, and your breath hot on his lips you asked, “Do you like me, trooper?”

“Like you? It was love at first sight when you first told me off,” Hevy couldn’t find it in himself to be embarrassed at his confession, just focusing on fueling the flames between you, “And what about you, techie? How do you feel about me?”

“I think you’re a smartmouthed asshole with a heart of gold and a pretty face- yeah, I like you a whole fucking lot!”

This was ridiculous. You knew it was ridiculous. You could see it in his face too, the two of you breathing heavy, barely a hair’s width away from each other. You’re unsure who started it, later on you two would always claim the other giggled first, but eventually you found yourselves holding onto each other for support as you laughed out the rest of your pointless venom. His arms fit around you perfectly as your hands held strong to his wide shoulders, your laughter filling the room together, the sounds swirling in their melody as everything started to click perfectly into place. Once everything quieted down, your head resting against his chest as his hands ran up and down your back, you exhaled low and steady against him, slowly rocking in his hold, “Plastoid isn’t that comfortable to rest on, huh?”

“You should try wearing it,” Hevy snorted at your comment, leaning over to rest his cheek on the top of your head, “So...what now?”

You hummed, feigning thought before angling your face to brush your lips over the column of his throat, murmuring into his skin, “I wouldn’t be against a kiss.”

Something rich left his throat, the sound deep and thrumming through his chest before one of his hands found its way into your tresses on the back of your head, tugging gently at your hair to guide you to his lips. You couldn’t stop the brief hitch in your breath at the daring move, but you wouldn’t have expected anything less from the brash soldier. At your word he took the lead, slanting over your mouth in a soft motion, breathing you in as easy as air. You followed in confidence, welcoming the boldness with which he kissed you as the same boldness that had him playing the game you both set up. A small noise of satisfaction left you, not just from the perfect pressure from his lips moving so softly against yours, but also from the way his hand gripped so firmly at your waist through your canvas jumpsuit, his other hand still carding so thoughtfully through your hair; it was a sweet little gasp that Hevy swore he’d be replaying in his head for a week. Or at least until he was able to make another sound tumble out of you.

Your hands came up to cup his cheeks, thumbs tracing the edges of his tattoos, pulling him impossibly closer. The payoff of this single kiss was absolutely worth all those months of gentle torture, the teasing touches and glances, discreetly watching his lips when he’d talk and thinking about how he’d feel against your own. Or even how he’d taste. In a stroke of your own audacity, you ran a slow, languid lick of your tongue against his lips, and the growl that came from him made the most delightful of shivers shoot right down your spine.

He had a robust, spicy taste, earthy and rich with a bit of heat that came tickling at your tongue. It wasn’t too surprising- he smelled the same way, smoky and hearty with the biting musk all clones seemed to carry with them. What did surprise you was the honeyed velvet of his own tongue eagerly coming to meet yours as you repeated your action. You could feel his infuriating grin at the helpless whimper that dripped from you at the feeling, and you nipped brazenly at his bottom lip in retaliation.

Before he could respond to your playful attack, the two of you froze as a throat loudy cleared from the entryway of the armory. Hevy almost didn’t pull away from you, a near silent broken whine coming from him (for your ears only) as he came off of your lips with a wet smacking sound. After a quick flex of his fingers, he removed his hands from you just as slowly, your own hands sliding down from his face to clasping behind your back. You both turned to face the bucket of Commander Blitz, arms crossed and stance wide in the doorway. He nodded toward the hall, “You left the door open.”

You cleared your throat, pursing your lips to keep from saying something ridiculous. Hevy clenched his jaw, trying to accomplish the same thing. Blitz’s visor smoothly slid to gaze over you, and you straightened in the mimic of his cadets. “You finally relaxing, techie?”

A short chuckle escaped you, lips twitching up in a coy grin, “I am, Commander.”

He nodded, that same dramatic humming leaving him as he turned then to Hevy, who tensed at full attention to the ARC Commander. “What about you, son. How’s that burn feel?”

“To be perfectly candid, sir,” Hevy, always pushing the limits, turned to shoot you a look with a quick lick of his lips before responding, “Absolutely thrilling.”

Blitz nodded again, taking slow steps into the room, like how Hevy had earlier that day, letting each step echo off the walls until he was about two feet away, “I’m happy for you both, but please. Don’t be stupid. You’re lucky it was me walking by and not one of the longnecks, or the nat-born chief trainers. Close the doors. And do me a favor, wait till you’re both off Kamino for any of the heavier stuff, okay?”

You and Hevy both confirmed the Commander’s request with quick nods and mumbled “Yes sirs,” making him let go a long breath. Uncrossing his arms, he pointed to Hevy, “Trooper, hit the showers. Move it.”

Hevy shot you one last look, if you didn’t know any better you’d say he was bashful, before saluting Blitz, grabbing his helmet and marching out of the armory. You stood straight, still under Blitz’s cold stare from his visor, until he sighed, slapping a companionable hand on your shoulder, “If he steps out of line, I better be the first vod you call. I will kick his ass so hard, he’ll be knocked back to failing the Citadel the first time-”

“At ease, Commander,” you rolled your eyes, you hand coming up to hold onto his, brushing your thumb over his knuckles with a soft breath of laughter, “He didn’t lay a hand on me until I asked him to.”

Blitz squeezed your hand, taking off his own helmet to look at you. He looked a little older than Domino did, cheeks slightly hollowed and eyes a bit deeper set, a bittersweet shine coming over his amber stare, mouth twitching up into a lopsided smile, “I’m gonna miss you, after you go off with those fools.”

“You’ll make great friends with the next techie who comes along. Who knows, maybe they’ll actually listen to you,” you smile back at him, the two of you masking the tears threatening to fall from your lashes. He pulls you in, touching your foreheads together, before giving two more pats to your shoulder.

“And remember,” he pulls off of you, placing his helmet back on and causing his voice to come out in a soft static, “Please, for the love of Jango, don’t-”

“Don’t be stupid,” you salute to him, winking for extra effect, “Aye-aye, ori’vod.”

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crispyjenkins · 4 years

Note

I might spam your box with ideas haha. S U F F E R. I’ve never liked the idea that after the Hardeen mission even Cody and Obi-wans men were all mad at him. There’s no one that would understand more than the troopers and Cody in my opinion. They understand having a duty and Following orders, even if you don’t agree with them. So I need me some Codywan + Obi getting so much more closer with his men and them being his support system now + ahsoka not being mad at her grandmaster. Please & thanks

(i have that one fill about the space fam™ figuring out obi-wan isn’t doing too hot after the deception arc, which is all well and good, but yeah the clones would absolutely understand and support obi faking his death for a mission and the fandom needs more of that. so here is fiori enabling me. and rex loving and supporting his general but also being super unimpressed with his tantrum

thank you for all the prompts, ad'ika ( ˘ ³˘) altho now I've had to shuffle my entire prompt list so that it's not you every other fill for the next month lmao)

“And he just goes right back to work?” Anakin snarls with a vague gesture across the bridge, to where General Kenobi is speaking with Cody and Wooley, and Maker, does the General look young. He had been reluctant to waste time on cosmetic corrections, and had only allowed the Jedi healers to give him some of his hair back; for better or for worse, he's letting the beard grow back naturally.

If the absurd amount of cooing that had happened at the Temple is anything to go by, many of the Jedi miss Kenobi’s baby-face, that he had supposedly covered with a beard as soon as he'd taken Anakin on as his apprentice. When Kenobi had given his first debrief after the Jedi had fixed his features back into his own, Echo had panicked and called him “cadet” in front of three different battalions, and the 501st is never going to let him forget it.

Anakin had not laughed.

“I’m not sure what you mean, sir,” Rex says carefully, turning back to the datapad in his hand to look over the command roster for their coming deployment. “General Kenobi’s injuries from the mission were superficial, he’ll be fully healed before we even make it to the Mid-Rim.”

Scoffing, Anakin continues to glare at his former master. “You can’t tell me you’re not angry, Rex,” he says, and leans against the console behind him.

Ahsoka had warned him that his general clearly wasn't over Kenobi’s supposed betrayal, and Rex is Mando enough to admit he’s been avoiding this conversation; he won’t lie to Anakin, no, they’ve been through far too much together for that, but no matter how close they are, their friendship would not save him from Anakin’s wrath.

So he pretends to be reading the roster for another long moment, wishing he had Kote’s diplomacy. “I am not, sir, just as I was not angry when Kix feigned desertion for the mission on Odos II.” Glancing up, he’s relieved to see Anakin isn’t glaring at him yet, but if Ahsoka hadn’t been able to talk him down, Rex doesn’t stand a chance. “The Supreme Chancellor's life being at stake is no small matter, the High Generals had many factors to consider, including that Count Dooku would be watching you closely in the wake of General Kenobi’s death.”

“Are you saying I can’t act?”

“I’m saying that if Count Dooku thought for even a moment you were faking it, the whole mission would have been in jeopardy. Sir.”

He doesn’t need to know banthashit about the Force to feel it when Anakin goes from simmering to incensed, not with the way Anakin warps the air between them, saturating it with his rage until General Kenobi sends them a concerned frown across the bridge. Anakin doesn’t seem to notice, glare fixed on Rex, and this really isn’t how he would have expected them to fall out.

Or that they'd have to fall out at all.

The tragedy of the thought makes Rex bold, meeting Anakin’s rage with a calm and confidence stolen from far stronger men. “You were not the only one made to believe in the General’s death, you forget there are others who care for him as deeply as you do.” Kote, he doesn’t say, Vos and Ahsoka and the Duchess, Wupi and Choke and Boil. “I perhaps would not include myself in that count, but should you not put aside your anger and be relieved that the General was not actually murdered?” Kote catches his eye and taps at his wrist guard, his concern obvious as he asks Rex in didi if he’s alright, and Rex will gladly take the unintentional out his brother has given him. “Just something to think about, sir. Here is the adjusted command roster, Captain Sage was transferred to the Coruscant Guard following his injury during the campaign on Aslo. Excuse me, sir, Commander Cody seems to have a question for me.” He hands the datapad to Anakin, who is miraculously too stunned not to take it, before Rex moves quickly across the bridge.

Ahsoka sits gingerly across from Rex in the almost-empty mess, murmuring, “I take it the talk didn’t go well.”

He snorts into his cup of caf. “From a certain point of view, it went better than expected.”

Wincing, Ahsoka rubs her own arms and casts her eyes down to the table. “I tried asking him about it before we left Coruscant, I’ve never seen him so angry, not even at the funeral.”

Rex is used to being the little brother, of both his batchmates and the CC track, and this is one of the times where he laments that: when he doesn’t quite know how to comfort the way his brothers comforted him. “If I may, sir,” he says, quiet enough that the few vode at the table across the room won’t hear, “are you not angry with General Kenobi?”

“No?” She chews her bottom lip. “I mean, yes, I mean– I’m happy he’s alive. It hurt, being kept out of the loop, but it’s not as if I was singled out for that, right? And I... I understand why he did it, why it had to be done and why it played out like it did, but it still hurt. But I’m also so relieved that Master Obi-Wan is alive, that I don’t think my hurt matters.”

“And General Skywalker hasn’t come to that conclusion yet.”

She shakes her head. “How... How has Cody taken it?”

“I think he’s more angry that he was forced to miss the funeral than Kenobi faking his death." Rex isn't sure where Kote and Kenobi stand now, they had been heading towards a collision before this Hardeen fiasco, and he doesn't know where they've landed. Brothers? Lovers? Whatever the hell Echo and Fives are? He hadn't been able to ask before the 212th and the 501st split ways. "It was for a mission, wasn't it? We're soldiers, Commander Tano, we're born with 'Mission First' imprinted on our brains."

Ahsoka giggles at the mental image, and Rex is relieved to see her shoulders relax. "All the padawans expected Knight Vos to react the worst," she says, crossing her arms on the table. "He grew up with Master Obi-Wan, you know? But he just... accepted it, he simply understood and... Letting go is part of being a Jedi. Knowing when you can't change things, and accepting failures, and understanding no matter the circumstances."

It would certainly not be the first time Anakin has stumbled on the Jedi path.

"General Vos was a Shadow, no?" Rex asks, considering his watery caf and wishing he knew how to approach his general about any of this. "He would empathise most, wouldn't he?"

"I suppose you're right," she says, bouncing her legs. "How have the others been? Echo and Jesse and them?"

"They're most disturbed by Kenobi’s face, to be honest."

Choking on a laugh, Ahsoka reaches across the table to steal an unused sucrose packet from Rex's tray. "I did hear something about Echo and cadets," she admits. "Oh no, how did Kix react?"

Rex smirks at the memory. "He really does like Kenobi’s hair, doesn't he?"

"He must have been devastated!"

"I think he tried to get the General to let him shave designs in the undercut."

"I suddenly know what I'm doing for the next Disaster Lineage prank war."

Rex winces, remembering the last prank war and how long it had taken Anakin to stop smelling like hot sauce. "Jesse's the best with the razors," he says blandly, mourning his now-empty cup and the broken caf machine in the kitchen, "and will work for extra shower tokens."

is this what you wanted, fiori?? 1,400 words about obi-wan without obi-wan in it for more than two seconds???

Mando’a: didi — a Clone-dialect specific form of dadita, a Mandalorian nonverbal communication similar to morse code. i think the clones would have a modified version of dadita that utilised placement of fingers on their arm as well as the actual taps, for quicker communication in close quarters, so in this case, didi is short for gadi dadita, “wrist dadita”. They would use this alongside standard military hand signals!

vode — “brothers, comrades, siblings”, sing. vod, technically gender neutral but used most often in fandom as “brothers”

#prompt fill #crispy writes #theclonewarsbrokeme #codywan #implied anyways #post-deception arc #captain rex #i think this is my first time doing rex pov?#prequel trilogy #clone wars #ask #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #obi wan kenobi #commander cody #actually forgot you'd asked for codywan and slipped that one line in because i'm a predictable bih

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starlightinhumanform · 3 years

Text

Friday Night Lights: Chapter Two

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Ship: Romantic Prinxiety, Platonic Sleepxiety

Summary: Roman and Virgil play opposite positions on their rival high school football teams. It’s the Homecoming game and tensions are high. Neither are willing to lose but one must rise above the other...

Warnings: Descriptions of pain/injury, Moderate language, One mention of drinking (Please tell me if anything needs to be added)

Genre: High School AU, Rivals to Lovers, Fluff

A/N: Well... nearly a year since the first chapter came out I’m finally writing again!!! I really love this AU (even though I know very little about football lmao) and I have a lot of ideas about how I would like to include more Sanders Sides characters into this world. If I can get some more of my unfinished fics done, I really want to expand this series. Until then, I hope you enjoy! Love you all 🖤✨

Chapter One Ao3 Fic Masterpost Fic Request Info

The first play passed by in a blink. Most of the guys at the front went down quickly, even the largest crumpling under Prince and his brigade. Somehow in the chaos, the ball had been passed to Remy instead of Virgil and the fullback was tackled to the ground.

Virgil rolled his eyes at Remy as the team fell back into formation, only a few feet forward from where they had begun, “Dude, why’d the fuck did it get passed to you? It’s not like a knucklehead like you would know what to do with it.”

Remy huffed a laugh in response, “I have no clue. I’ll make sure it gets to you this time… hopefully.”

He glanced over in the direction that Remy was grimacing. It was Prince, of course, lumbering toward his position with what seemed to Virgil to be nothing but brutish arrogance. Roman acted like the entire game was about him; he acted like it was West Shore Vs Roman instead of West Shore Vs Knights. He probably didn’t even care about the game— it was all about showing off.

Crouched in the back of the formation, it was hard to see anyone at the front but he could picture Roman, somehow managing to smirk behind his mouthguard. Virgil hoped that Remy would rub his face in the turf.

—————————————-

Roman prepared for the second down, glad to see that the jock in front of him wasn’t looking nearly as confident as he had at the first down. Knocking someone to the ground always seemed to do the trick.

The ball was hurled straight back to Tempeste and the bitch who had growled at him earlier didn’t even try to block Roman. Good. All that was left between him and the weird little halfback was Remy Ristretto.

Roman tried to steady himself before the expected slam, but Ristretto’s tackle hit him low in the stomach, managing to knock him off balance. From the ground, he could just barely see the purple form of Tempeste weaving down the field and avoiding every single one of the Monarch Knight’s defense.

Roman tried to throw off the weight of the boy on his back but found himself thoroughly pinned down. His mouth was filled with the taste of plastic turf and dusty rubber and almost the entirety of his vision was blocked by the grape juice flavoured uniform on top of him. It was humiliating. And Tempeste was still running, reaching the end zone without being touched by a single Knight. It was like his feet didn’t even touch the ground, flying across the field.

The West Shore team were given the chance to make a field goal, and made it, but Roman hardly noticed. He was too busy grumbling about how he was going to get back at Tempeste the second he got the chance.

—————————————-

By halftime, Virgil felt like he had been driven over by a steamroller. Multiple times. A steamroller covered in baseball bats.

As the marching band paraded past where Virgil was sitting, he wondered vaguely about the operability of a steamroller that had baseball bats attached to it. Maybe the hit he had taken to the head earlier in the game had been harder than he thought.

Remy sat down besides him, “What’s going on in that big old head of yours?”

“Uhhhhh, a lot of cartoon gong sound effects. Now that I think about it, that might just be the band.”

Virgil looked out across the field as the marching band made their final pass around the turf. The sky was completely dark by now but the stadium glowed bright as day under the huge lights. It was always wonderfully surreal to Virgil, the time of night when the field became its own little world still holding onto the glory of day. He hoped glory was still how he felt about this field by the end of the game. The alternative would be shame; the alternative would be defeat.

And defeat was not an option for a game right before homecoming. It’s not that Virgil particularly cared about the school dances, quite the opposite in fact, he hated them. They were crowded, noisy, and you had to wear uncomfortable clothes and stand around with a bunch of people you don’t like instead of being at home watching scary movies and eating pizza in your pajamas. But there’s only one thing worse than going to a school dance— going to the a school dance after losing the biggest game of the season.

“You’re worried, aren’t you?” Remy’s voice broke through Virgil’s thoughts, “Well stop it. We’re ahead of the Knights—“

“Barely.”

“—you’ve made some great runs so far—“

“I’ve gotten blocked plenty of times too.”

“—and you’re always at your best in the second half of the game. Now stop putting all your energy towards making the little hamster wheel in your brain turn faster and go use it on the field. C’mon man, the third quarter is about to start.”

Virgil shook his head as if to dislodge the distracting thoughts, letting his purple bangs fall in front of his face for a moment before brushing them back and putting his helmet on. Remy was right. Virgil had started football as a way to channel his anxiety, not to cause himself more. He just needed to get on that field and start running.

He jumped up and started bouncing on his feet, letting the adrenaline flow through his body until it felt like he was buzzing. Virgil was ready to win.

—————————————-

Roman was ready to win.

He could feel it boiling in stomach, the drive, the push to alway be the best. The teams had been neck-and-neck the entire game but West Shore’s grape-coloured menace had managed to scrape by with a slight lead by the end of the second quarter. Roman had no idea how Tempeste could even run that fast; he had short little legs and was about as delicate as a twig. Maybe West Shore just hooked him up to a car battery and gave him 20 energy drinks before every game.

However they made it happen, the kid could run. He didn’t look like he belonged on a football team, more like a trackstar or even a dancer. Roman knew he looked like a football player— tall, with broad shoulders and a thick waist, his extra weight part of what made him such a good defense. But Tempeste... he was like no player Roman had ever seen. Maybe that’s why Roman couldn’t beat him like any other player.

As the teams fell into formation, Roman looked across the row of helmets and accidentally made eye contact with Virgil. His stare burned with intensity. Roman hated to admit it, but he liked that about the rival school’s halfback, the feverish energy that seemed to storm around him. In fact, if Roman was being really honest, he loved playing against the West Shore because he loved playing against Tempeste. The energy was infectious. Playing against him made Roman want to run faster, hit harder, be better.

Roman smiled behind the mouthguard that rested on his bottom teeth. Maybe he did know how to beat Virgil; maybe he had to be just as crazy and vicious as his opponent.

—————————————-

Virgil knew what it felt like to get tackled. In his high school career he had gotten jumped on top and thrown to the ground by various sweaty, muscly dudes more times than he could ever dream of counting or would ever care to. He had been dragged to the ground, sat on, and pushed over from every angle and in every way.

But he had never, never felt a tackle like Roman’s in the beginning of the third quarter of that game.

He saw it coming, practically in slow motion, before Prince actually hit him. The boy’s shoulders were nearly twice as big as Virgil’s even with all his gear. He came charging towards Virgil head-down like a bull, his bright red helmet set with a direct trajectory to Virgil’s solar plexus.

Virgil tried to sidestep, skirting just past the moving wall of Roman Prince, but somehow Roman was moving simply too fast. The impact struck just at his core and a deep kind of pain, like a bruise that goes all the way to the bone, resonated outwards through his entire body. A vibration ran all the way to his fingertips.

Virgil could see the crowd going wild, booing and cheering and maybe just screaming with no inflection, making noise for the hell of it. He couldn’t hear any of it. Maybe the entire world had been put on mute or maybe the ringing in his ears was drowning it out.

He fell backwards and Roman flew over him, momentum carrying him forward. When he landed— and boy, did he land— he fell on directly onto Virgil’s chest. Virgil thought Roman had knocked the wind out of him by hitting him in the sternum. By landing flat on his chest with the entire bulk of his body, Roman found another ounce of breath left in Virgil’s body to shock out of him.

His vision and hearing tunneled out, focusing on the one thing capturing his entire attention: Roman. The boy on top of him was heavy, crushing Virgil through his thick shoulder pads. The heat of Prince’s body spread through his gear as well, although, based on the sweat damping his hairline, Virgil really wasn’t one to talk.

Roman was strong, stronger than him. Virgil tried to squirm away but he could feel Prince throwing his weight downwards and his arms straining to keep Virgil caged to the ground.

Just as intense as his physical strength, Prince’s eyes seemed to burn. Before, they always seemed to be depthless, simply dark and brutish like a bear. Now, breathlessly close, there seemed to be a light behind them, a thousand times brighter than the stadium lights. Gold tones shining through the dark brown of his eyes. It was the most beautiful thing Virgil had ever seen. It was also easily one of the most terrifying things he’d ever seen.

Virgil kept the ball close to his chest. As long as he could keep it, the West Shore team would still have possession and could continue to move forward across the field. They could still win.

—————————————-

Roman had Tempeste pinned to the ground and somehow it was the most exhilarating thing he had ever done. Which isn’t to say he had never tackled the halfback before— they had been playing against each other for several years now— but this was different somehow, more personal.

Tempeste growled beneath him, wriggling to escape the tackle like water slipping between his fingers. Roman push down harder, refusing to let him go.

Footsteps pounded behind them, turf crunching under the stampede of Knights quickly charging forward. Roman braced himself for the pile-up he knew was coming, over a thousand pounds worth of his team jumping to join the tackle.

One guy slammed into Roman’s back then another, then another. The pressure of the game must have been getting to them as well because they threw themselves at Roman and Tempeste like a pack of wild animals.

It felt like every single Knight, including the offense players, were joining the tackle. And feel was the correct term. He could hardly see anything besides Tempeste’s face within his purple helmet. But he could feel everything, every hit of his teammates as their full weight fell against his back. Beneath him, Tempeste’s breath began quickening, like he was sprinting again. But of course he wasn’t, he was pinned down just like Roman was.

Roman glanced down into the depths of Virgil’s helmet, searching past the grill. Shining in the dark, his eyes caught a small reflection of the stadium lights. They were large, startled, and obviously panicked. He looked like a trapped animal and his breathing only continued to become more rapid.

Their eyes met as Roman looked down and he realized this was the first time he had ever seen Virgil look really, truly afraid. He had seen Tempeste in the fourth quarter, 20 points behind and looking as determined and fierce as ever. He had seen Tempeste sprint across the field, followed by the entire Monarchs team, with a huge grin on his face like there was nothing he would rather do than be hunted after. He had seen Tempeste stand toe-toe-to, small chest puffed out and jaw set confidently, with some guy over a foot taller than him because he tried to mouth off about Virgil’s ability. He had never seen him like this.

“Hey, it’s going to be ok,” Roman set his helmet grill against Virgil’s. He knew Virgil couldn’t hear him and probably didn’t even know why he was putting his face so close. Hell, Roman didn’t even know why he was doing it. There was something about Virgil’s genuine fear that he felt the need to comfort him, tell him that it was just a game, that he would be alright.

The weight of another player hit him and Roman was slammed against Virgil’s chest. The sudden shift forced Roman onto his wrist, the small joint carrying him and the entirety of his team. Something cracked. He gasped sharply as pain struck every molecule in his body. Roman’s vision went black.

—————————————-

Virgil sat in the locker room, staring vaguely across at the rows of blue shelves in front of him as he held a pack of ice against his shoulder. The nurse said that it might have been dislocated in the pileup.

He wished he could blame it on Roman, that oaf was the one who had tackled him to begin with. He couldn’t though. It was Roman’s job to tackle him and that’s exactly what Roman had done and as much as it confused and somewhat infuriated Virgil, he also knew the other boy had protected him from the blunt force of his teammates. Why? Why would he do that?

Dull pain throbbed through the entirety of his body, clouding his mind. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t quite wrap his head around what had happened.

Virgil was pretty sure Roman got hurt too. As he had walked off the field, gritting his teeth, he caught a glimpse of Prince cradling his hand as he walked in the opposite direction.

It was one hell of a pileup; four years of football and he had only been in a tangle that bad the first time he had played against the Monarchs. Maybe he and Roman were just destined to create disasters.

Virgil grimaced as his mind kept wandering back to Roman. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t help but worry if Prince was alright. Virgil had no idea what was going on in his mind, or on the field, or in the locker room on the other side.

—————————————-

Roman was bored. He sat on the bleachers, watching the game drag on ahead of him as he held a pack of ice to his wrist. The nurse had told him it was probably just strained but Roman wasn’t convinced. He could feel the ache throbbing up his arm with every beat of his heart. Between the pain and the pressure spreading out from grinding his teeth, Roman’s head was trapped in a haze that he could barely see through.

From what he could tell, the Monarch Knights were winning. With Virgil out, Westshore’s offense had been greatly weakened. Roman hardly cared; he wasn’t out there, Virgil wasn’t out there, none of the spark was left in the game. What was the point of winning if there was no one to win against?

The crowd roared as the final quarter came to a close. The Knights won, but Roman didn’t. He felt disappointed, dejected, and like he didn’t quite understand where he was. This wasn’t his game.

The night came to an end and Roman opted to go straight to the locker room instead of shaking hands with the other team, blaming it on his wrist. Usually, he loved facing the other team after a win— admittedly because it gave him a chance to gloat over them— but he just couldn’t find that same feeling tonight.

—————————————-

Virgil leaned against a cold concrete wall of the bleachers, staring up at the stadium light’s false sun above him. If he looked far enough, he could find the dark sky and the twinkling lights of the city below him and beyond the intense glow of the school.

A cool breeze was picking up as the world shifted into night. It was beautiful but Virgil couldn’t appreciate it. He just wished there had been some sort of ending, a closure of some kind. He and Prince’s last hurrah against each other. But they hadn’t gotten a hurrah, all they got was a game that petered out and came to sputtering stop as they both sat on the sidelines. Virgil didn’t even care that West Shore lost; it was never about West Shore and the Monarchs. It was about him and Roman.

Someone cleared their throat behind him, “You mind if I join your sulking or would you rather be left alone to mope?”

Virgil spun around, his body tensing at Roman’s voice and sending a twinge of pain down from his shoulder, “What do you want?”

Roman stepped closer, “I told you, I came to sulk with you because that’s obviously what we’re both doing.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, “Yeah, right well... fuck off.”

“Man, I thought you might bite before but now I’m sure of it.”

Prince took another casual step forward as Virgil’s mind began racing. What is he doing? Virgil’s eyes swept over Roman. He had never really seen him out of his football uniform and damn. In denim jeans and a red tee shirt, Virgil was actually able to see him for the first time. Most guys were greatly exaggerated by the uniform, making them look bigger and stronger, but nope, Roman was really just built like that. His gaze reached Prince’s face. Like the rest of his body, his features looked like they had been sculpted and chiseled like some type of statue. He was reminded of how beautiful Roman’s eyes were when he actually took the time to look at them, the warm shades of brown filtering through each other.

“Uh, what are you looking at?” Roman laughed, a hint of nervousness creeping into the edge of his voice.

Virgil felt blood rushing to his face as a deep blush rose to his cheeks. He had been staring, hadn’t he? “Sorry.”

Roman stepped even closer, clearing his throat again, “I actually came over here because... I wanted just wanted to tell you I’ve really enjoyed playing against you. And it can’t just be summed up by saying ‘good game;’ it’s been a hell of a good four years... you’re a phenomenal player.”

Virgil stared down at his feet. This was not what he had been expecting, not that he had been expecting any of this, “You know... it hasn’t been easy to be the smallest person on the team— shit, I’m the smallest player in any of the district teams. I don’t think I would have kept playing, or would have tried as hard to stay on the team if I wasn’t absolutely set on kicking your ass.”

Roman laughed— a deep, genuine sound flooding from somewhere in his broad chest— and Virgil couldn’t help but grin.

“So yeah... thanks for that. And good game,” Virgil smiled up at the other boy.

“Well, we can’t exactly shake hands like usual,” Roman glanced down at his swollen wrist and Virgil’s shoulder that he was still nursing.

“Can we do something else then?” Virgil moved so he was standing face to face with Roman, his heart pounding in his ears.

Virgil could feel Roman’s breathing quicken as he reached up with his good arm, sliding his hand to the base of Roman’s neck. Put he didn’t startle, he didn’t try to move away. If anything, he seemed to be leaning into the touch.

Virgil moved forward, standing on the tips of his toes to press his lips against Roman’s. For a horrific second, he thought Roman wouldn’t return it but after a moment of apparent shock, Roman bowed his head to deepen the kiss. He tipped them forward, supporting the entirety of Virgil’s weight with his uninjured hand.

When they finally broke away, Virgil was completely breathless. He definitely hadn’t seen that coming at the beginning of the evening.

Roman looked equally surprised but he began grinning like an idiot as the realization of what had just happened settled over him, “Can we do that again??”

Virgil laughed at Roman’s eager, puppy-dog-eyes expression, “At least buy me a drink first.”

“Well, I can’t exactly do that seeing as we’re both like 17–“

“Excuse you, I’m 18,” Virgil stuck his tongue out in mock indignation.

“Yeah, well, uh, would you maybe want to go to homecoming with me?” Roman began rushing his words out, “I mean, I totally get if not. There’s absolutely no pressure. And I’m sure you already have plans so—“

“That’d be cool,” Virgil broke in, “I’d really, really like that.”

Roman’s face once again broke into a beaming smile, “Really??”

“Yeah you big idiot, that’s why I said it. Besides, it’s awful going to a dance after losing a game so I might as well bring a trophy,” Virgil slipped his hand into Roman’s and began leading them out of the stadium and into the parking lot. Nothing could have prepared him for what happened tonight. He had started the evening determined to win, but even though West Shore lost, he didn’t feel disappointed.

Virgil looked at the silhouette of Roman against the fading campus lights as he walked alongside him. Maybe he had won something even more important than the game.

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#roman sanders #virgil sanders #prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #roman x virgil #prinxiety high school au #sander sides #sanders side fic #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides high school au #prinxiexty fluff #starlight writes #Friday Night Lights #did I say I was going to post this on thursday and then decided to push it until friday but then i went on a date #and absolutely did not get this posted so now I’m posting it on saturday #maybe

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butwhatifidothis · 3 years

Text

3H and Bleach: Where the Fuck am I

So, I’m finally hunkering down and trying to write out this post lmao. I’ve mentioned here and there how my personal experience with the 3H’s fandom is similar to my experience with the Bleach fandom’s in more than one way, and - look. Like, I get there’s definitely a semi-universal thing that goes on across all fandoms. I don’t mean for this to say that this only happens within these two fandoms, because duh, of course they don’t. But!! This post is partly me wanting to air years long annoyance towards the Bleach fandom that just so happens to coincide with my feelings towards the 3H fandom, sooo... yeah lmao

I’ll probably be skimming over some bits about 3H, since most people who come across this will already be familiar with what I’d be talking about in that regard vs Bleach, so just a heads up

Note: This is gonna talk about Bleach which will spoiler territory (writing this off the cuff so not sure where this is goin’ yet lmao but I know that much), so if you don’t wanna see that then don’t read this post lol, I know for sure I’ll be spoiling something ahhhh... noticeable, lol

Ableism against the mentally ill

Now, most people reading this post will be familiar with the blog and how this very, very much applies to 3H, but for the sake of this post I’ll lay it out anyway with a brief summary

Dimitri and Rhea are both characters within 3H that suffer from severe trauma that heavily impacts their mental state. Both are the sole survivors of a horrific slaughter, with that slaughter redefining who they are and leaving a permanent marker within their minds in some way (Dimitri with having auditory and visual hallucinations, Rhea with having obsessive tendencies towards bringing her mother back from the dead). Specifically in CF, both characters are set up in the plot as antagonists, with both characters having to relive their trauma in some way due to the actions Byleth and Edelgard take against them (for Dimitri, having his home be razed to the ground and everyone he cares for dying around him, for Rhea having someone use her mother’s mutilated remains be used to end her and her race) and express extreme anger towards Byleth and Edelgard before they are killed to progress/end the story

Now, uh, sad shit right? Not exactly fuckin’ happy sunshine rainbows. These two characters are put through the wringer and are then murdered. They are rightfully not the fuckin’ happiest because of what happened to them before and what happens to them within the present story. But we’ve heard it all before: “They were crazy!” “They couldn’t be reasoned with!” “They had to be put down out of mercy because they were too ~far gone~ to live happily!” “They needed to be killed for the good of everyone!” It’s an extremely ableist rhetoric that gets passed around the fandom as though it’s totally fine to directly state that mentally ill people should be put down if they’re deemed a “lost cause.” Especially worrying because. You know. If they are a “”””lost cause”””” then it’s directly and specifically because of actions Byleth and Edelgard take against them.

But how does this remind me of Bleach? What kind of similar extreme, worrying ableism exists there? Well, let me introduce to best girl a certain character with... a reputation, to say the least:

Meet Momo Hinamori.

Holy shit it’s so weird writing this out because I’ve been wanting to for years but have never worked up the nerve to do it lol

It should be noted, in the Bleach verse there’s two worlds out of three - Soul Society and Hueco Mundo, though I’ll only be talking of the former - that deal with “souls” (the essence within a living human). Souls age far more slowly than human bodies do in terms of body, not necessarily the mind (so a teenage soul will likely behave as such for a long while) so keep in mind that I’m going to be using numbers that may seem weird to someone who hasn’t seen Bleach lol. With that out of the way, here’s a similar, if longer for context to those who haven’t seen Bleach, summary for Momo’s character as it relevant to this post:

Momo is a character in Bleach that grows a deep admiration towards Sosuke Aizen, a respected captain of the military force called the Gotei 13. She comes to views him as the most important person in her world due to him both noticing and paying direct attention to her as well as saving her and her friends’ lives during a training mission gone wrong while she was younger. Note that “younger” here means 40 years ago from the start of the story. Aizen would praise her all the time, allow her to sleep over in his quarters, would drape his cloaks over her when she looked cold, and would overall treat Momo as though he was his daughter for most of the time we see them interact in the beginning portions of the show. Note that none of this is sexual in nature, nor is it ever implied to be seen as such. That’ll be important later in this post

To make a long story short, Aizen comes to betray her. He stabs her through the chest and shows and tells her that she never meant anything to him, throughout the 40 years they’ve known each other (which, mind, for a soul Momo’s approximate age 40 years is still a noticeable amount of time), and he was only using her to help bolster his image as a loveable captain so that he can hide his plan from everybody that much easier. He did horrible things to Momo - from setting her alarm clock back to a later time so that she would more likely come across his pinned, bloody fake corpse. to framing her childhood friend for the apparent murder and tricking her into fighting that friend, to far later in the series tricking that friend into stabbing her (hypnosis shit, to sum that up) for literally no stated reason - that ended up mentally breaking her. She couldn’t believe that the last four decades were all nothing but lies and she fell into a deep denial about Aizen’s true nature - someone else made him do everything he did, she must have missed something that would have warned her about Captain Aizen’s unfortunate situation that forced Captain Aizen to hurt her and everyone else. This denial would take the majority of Bleach’s entire runtime for her to get over completely, with her having hiccups in her recovery even as she works up the nerve to fight him.

Now, uh, also not the fuckin’ funnest of times to be had here. The deep, long-running mental and psychological manipulation of what approximates as a teenage girl from a trusted older figure is something that is very clearly horrific and bad of the older figure, right? Like, we’re on the same page here on that?

This wouldn’t be in this post if that was the case. No, Momo was the one constantly on fire for what happened to her. She was one of the most hated characters in the western audience, and there were endless jokes about “lol look at Momo, the pincushion!” “Crazy bitch Momo, better watch out!” making fun of her and her trauma relentlessly. If you managed to find a Momo fan in the early 2000′s you should have also bought a lotto ticket because holy fuck, everyone hated her. She acted in a startlingly real if deeply uncomfortable way in regards to years long manipulation and she was lambasted for it. She didn’t immediately get over decades long psychological abuse and she was called useless, weak, a horrible representation of female characters, stupid - you name it, she was likely called it. To this day I still tense up when I hear that someone likes Bleach and they mention Momo at all because I’m always thinking “does this person think this abuse victim is dumb for being abused?”

Dimitri, Rhea, and Momo are all victim-blamed to a disgusting degree in the 3H and Bleach fandoms. Dimitri and Rhea are always hit with “well if Dimitri hadn’t have fought back against Edelgard/Rhea caused the “”tyranical systems” in the first place, nothing would have happened to them!” and Momo was constantly hit with” well, it’s not Aizen’s fault Momo was so clingy to him, what could he have done!” and I get so fuckin’ mad dude.

But for Dimitri and Momo specifically, there’s one thing in particular that caught my attention:

The “Rejection Theories”

This had my head spinnin’ a bit when I first heard it, cuz I had managed to avoid the theory for a while in the 3H’s fandom, but apparently a sizeable amount of people seem to believe that Dimitri wasn’t just mad at Edelgard in the Holy Tomb because of... you know *waves hand* fuckin’ everything, but that the primary reason for his anger was that Edelgard... rejected his advances to her? And that the dagger he gave to her when they were 13 was a phallic symbol of baby Mitri’s want to have sex with Edelgard? And. Like. What in the fuck are you talking about.

But like?? Bleach did this shit too with Momo?? It was also a sizeable amount of people - not everyone, but a noticeable amount - that believed that Momo was just mad that Aizen wouldn’t sleep with her? You’d see it pop up in fics so often, that Momo would want Aizen to fuck her and she’d “go crazy” when he denied her and Momo was actually just this shallow bitch who wanted a good fuck like... what.

Like, when I first heard the Phallic Dagger take the first thing that came to mind is “wait Momo was also accused of just wanting to have sex with the person who traumatized her wtf”

“Actually it was the perpetrators that should be forgiven because lonely and also some shit about ruling better”

Those in the 3H fandom know how often the “Edelgard was lonely!” line gets thrown by just about every one of her stans. Edelgard was lonely and couldn’t trust anyone, so of course she did what she did! If she had someone near her she could trust she wouldn’t have acted like she does in the rest of the game! Nevermind that she “gets” this in CF in the form of Byleth and still acts just as shittily as she does in the other routes, or how being a little lonely doesn’t fuckin’ mean you get to start war. But anyway, we also hear that Edelgard was justified in doing what she did because her ruling Fodlan would have lead to more peace in the end, once she got rid of the power structures in place now (except that doesn’t happen but whatev I guess lmao)

Aizen? He was lonely too! He was far too strong for anyone to truly be able to understand him, and so he tragically fell down a dark path. If he had known someone who could be considered an equal to him he would have never done all the horrible things he did. And the Soul Society is unjust! It needs to be reformed! So him slaughtering hundreds of thousands of souls at the minimum to harvest all of their power to use as his own is justified because it’ll be used to create a more just society under his rule!

Like. Y’all. Lowkey? I’m so fuckin’ glad Edelgard proved herself to be just as fuckin’ awful with Byleth as without because this shit drove me up the fuckin’ wall back in the day. There was 0 ways to prove that Aizen would damn sure be just as fuckin’ bad if he had an “”equal”” to stand by him than if he didn’t, and I get to kinda be right because without fundamentally changing these characters’ backstories they would not give two flying shits about whether or not they had someone “equal to them” (which is still kinda degrading to think about anyway).

Now, this is where I move away to a different topic lol

A split in the narrative cause divides in the fandom

With 3H houses this is really fuckin’ easy to point at: there’s 4 routes, three consistent stories and one radically different story, and that difference in story causes heavy contention within the fandom. It’s very obvious so I won’t go over it much.

But how in the fuck is there a divide in Bleach? It’s not a fuckin’ Choose Your Own Adventure manga, it’s an anime and manga showing off the characters of Bleach’s stories and interactions (with, you know, plot and shit thrown in).

Well. It’s more accurate to say the anime told a story about the characters, and the manga told... the story about the characters.

In terms of plot, the anime didn’t change much from the manga, but hoo fuckin’ boy, did they change shit about some of the characters. Specifically, they changed a shit ton about three characters: the two main protagonists, Ichigo and Rukia, and another main character, Orihime.

Orihime. Got. Fucked.

The anime would make her far more ditzy and clumsy, her crush (turned growing love later on in the story) for Ichigo during more deeper moments that showcases her feelings for him were downplayed if not removed entirely in exchange for talking or thinking about food, key moments she has with Ichigo early in the manga were cut or deadass changed to something else in the anime, some key moments with her relationship with Rukia were cut, her backstory was watered down - so much of Orihime was fucked with in the anime (her fuckin’ introduction was changed drastically). Meanwhile Ichigo and Rukia were given moments that didn’t exist in the manga, they have filler arcs (remember those lmao) that would be stuffed with shit ton of moments for them that have no basis in the manga, other characters would change their behavior from the manga to reflect a sort of “thing” going on between Ichigo and Rukia.

Look, guys, the anime fucked up so bad the fucking mangaka, Tite Kubo, has said he gets stomach aches watching the early anime because it was that awful. And this divide between the anime and manga’s portrayal of these three character helped spawn the ship war of Bleach: Ichiruki vs Ichihime (oh but more on that in a bit). It tanked Orihime’s popularity because people thought she was the stupid dumbass that would stumble ass first into situations when that wasn’t her character at all. And because the majority of anime watchers only watch the anime... yeah, you can see where this went. So just like in 3H in Bleach you have these radically different tellings of the same characters that drove a big-ass wedge in the fandom

Marketing

Imma be transparent, like I’ve said before I managed to avoid nearly every marketing tactic for 3H so it’s a tad hard for me to speak personally, but from what I’ve been told Edelgard was heavily marketed towards the player base pre-release. She was the poster child of 3H, she got the figma, she was in the spotlight - unless you cleansed your board of 3H content you knew exactly who she was. On top of that, it doesn’t stop in-game - loading screen messages would assume you picked BE, Adrestia is the first option to pick when you want to impress one of the lords in the prologue, the BE class is the first option to pick in choosing which route to play, every character has some moment in the game post ts where they express sympathy with the woman who waged war on them for five years (even characters with no business doing so, like Seteth entertaining the idea that maybe Edelgard isn’t that bad during Myrddin). With all of that good PR for Edelgard in and out of the game it heavily impacted how people saw her, and much of it is used by stans to justify her being a good guy (mostly in the game marketing) despite everything else in the game clearly showing that Edelgard is the bad guy

With Bleach in that regard... you have Ichiruki

holy shit it’s so weird talking about Ichiruki i’m still lowkey nervous about talking about them lmao

With Ichiruki stans, they would cling onto outside material that promoted Ichigo and Rukia together as proof that their ship was going to be canon. Spreadsheets, calendars, poems (some of which didn’t even apply to Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship but they insisted they did anyway), novels - outside material that either wasn’t canon or didn’t pertain to Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship. They would shove it in the face of Ichihime shippers that “see, we have all this stuff for us! We ain’t starving tonight!” when the canon (note: in the manga particularly) would clearly show Ichigo and Orihime’s relationship being the one that leans romantic in multiple significant ways. They would latch onto irrelevant shit that ain’t had nothin’ to do with anything and wave around as a paragon of romance when it literally wasn’t even canon

Just fuckin’ ignoring the creators deadass

Creators and developers of 3H: Edelgard is the typical Red Emperor the only difference is Girl

Stans: that’s just a headcanon

Kubo: Ichigo and Rukia have a platonic relationship and I’ve publicly said this since 2008

Stans, now, to this day: Ichigo and Rukia were robbed

Making people reject what they’re stanning for

I’ve seen a few people express that the more they interact with the fandom and see what her stans are doing, the more they grow to dislike Edelgard despite (some) initially liking or even loving her. To put it simply, the same thing happened with Ichiruki - hell, this happened with me with Ichiruki. I can’t fuckin’ stand the ship anymore because every time I think about it I’m reminded of the absolutely rancid, disgusting things Ichiruki stans have to done to others in the fandom, and even after nearly five years after Bleach has ended I still tense up when someone says they like Ichiruki over Ichihime precisely because of the behavior of the stans, just like I side-eye people who say Edelgard is the best lord. Do they like them because they simply prefer them over the other(s) and they’re not totally fuckin’ bonkers, or are they totally fuckin’ bonkers.

And, like, that’s not fair! I know that! But I can’t help but think that when such a loud amount of people act in such deplorable ways just because someone didn’t like a bunch of lines on paper/pixels on a screen.

To all the nice Ichiruki and Edelgard fans, hope y’all are havin’ a nice day.

Long, crazy ass explanations as to why X =/= X (and if anything actually means Y)

Teacher theory for 3H. How Edelgard totally didn’t hire Kostas to kill Dimitri and Claude and was only thwarted because Claude booked it, but how she definitely actually meant to simply scare away the teacher that was with them so that Jeritza could be pulled from his already existing position in Garreg Mach to teach one class so that Edelgard can kinda keep a sorta closer eye on exactly one of the other classes (and just do shit all about the other one I guess), because Jertiza’d be able to gleam so much from teaching a class for a few hours a day I promise

But for Bleach, you also have one particularly infamous theory positing shit that don’t real, with enough renown to be known by a specific name, and that’s the Lust Arc = Fail essay

To explain what the essay is about, I have to set the scene up a bit. Imagine, you, with your tiny little monkey brain, are watching Bleach, and you get to the part where Main Boyo is fighting against Villain to save Girly. Other Guy is there too - this is important. Main Boyo tries his hardest to fight Villain, but is ultimately shot through the fucking chest with a laser from Villain and dies. Like, for bit actually dies. Girly breaks down, has a straight up mental breakdown because she always “knew” that Main Boyo could do anything, and now he’s been killed and is dead in front of her. She screams out Main Boyo’s name, hysterically begging him to save her and protect her because holy shit the love of her life has been brutally murdered in front of her what the fuck. But Main Boyo, from literally beyond the line of death, hears her pleas and snaps back to life as a monster, with the sentence “I MUST PROTECT” repeatedly running through his head and being the only sentence he ever says while in this form, with him fucking destroying Villain and even going so far as to directly hurt Other Guy when Other Guy tries to stop Main Boyo from utterly stomping on Villain. Girly is the only person Main Boyo does not directly hurt, and when Villain is damn sure gonna fuckin’ kick the bucket that is when Main Boyo reverts back human. Everyone is more than a little shocked at what happened, but it’s clear from how relieved Girly is when Main Boyo comes back safe and sound that while this event fundamentally will change their relationship (and it does), it is still one that is extremely strong and they won’t let it get between them (and they don’t).

Now, when looking at the summary, you, with your absolutely miniscule peanut of a brain, might come away thinking, “Hm, Main Boyo might kinda care for Girly given that he literally rose from the dead to protect her and only her and went back to normal once she was safe” and you poor fool would be oh so wrong, because actually, this is all proof that Mian Boyo doesn’t care for Girly and that Villain actually cared more for Girly than Main Boyo ever could.

Without diving too deeply into the absolute lunacy of the Lust Arc = Fail essay, that was its main premise. That Ichigo, after rising from the literal dead directly after Orihime begged and pleaded that he protect and save her and then going on to protect and save specifically her (as Uryu - Other Guy - is also a friend of Ichigo’s and got his fucking arm cut off by Monster!Ichigo), is proof against Ichihime being romantic in any way and was not, in fact, a fuckin’ giant neon flashing sign that read THESE TWO ARE GONNA GET TOGETHER. It was the dumbest shit ever, but Ichiruki stans, much like Edelstans with Teacher Theory, clung to it like white on rice. It didn’t matter how much it was utterly debunked, it didn’t matter how the base premise was stupid as fuck, they point to it as the pinnacle of meta for their respective fandoms in their respective spaces.

And all of this leads me to um... the one I’m kinda the most worried about?

Stan Behavior

Edelstans are their own unique brand of awful in that that the shit they spew is particularly... worrying (”genocide isn’t bad if they aren’t human and also they kinda deserved it” “imperialism isn’t that bad really” the mentally ill should be put down if they’re deemed ~too far gone~” among other... wonderful takes...), and their behavior is also quite shitty, harassing content creators that go against the Approved Opinions (Ghast) or forcing people to take down fanart and in general infecting nearly every Rhea space with all kinds of disparaging comments no one asked for. They actively make the fandom a worse space, and when they flare up it’s almost always noticeable (again, Ghast)

Bleach?

Oh boy.

Guys. If you weren’t there for the Canonization of Ichihime (2016). You dodged a fucking bullet.

The outrage was out-fuckin’-rageous. Their behavior was some of the worst reactions anyone has ever seen come from the canonization of a ship in a shounen. This includes, but is not limited to:

Someone tearing apart all 70+ volumes of Bleach and burning it in their bathroom

In fact, multiple people tearing up Bleach and burning it, while keeping the Ichiruki moments and taping it to their walls

A Rukia cosplayer, in Rukia cosplay, printing out the final color spread of the end-game couples and their friends lounging about - with colored ink and all - and burning it, while filming herself doing so

Ichiruki porn being sent to Tite Kubo

Tite Kubo being accused of grooming a 15 Orihime cosplayer with no proof

Tite Kubo being accused of lying about his various health issues

Ichigo and Rukia being drawn cheating on their spouses with each other - and some of that also being sent to Tite Kubo

Tite Kubo being chased off Twitter by Ichiruki stans... again

Ichihime shippers getting sent death threats

Ichihime shippers getting called delusional for thinking their ship had a chance before the endgame couples were revealed, and then being called delusional for thinking their ship had any real basis and wasn’t pulled “out of nowhere”

Tite Kubo being accused of hating women because of Orihime being shown in an apron in the last chapter and Ichiruki stans jumping to the conclusion she became a housewife, and then Tite Kubo being accused of hating women because when it was revealed that Orihime has a job in a bakery to pay for college later they insisted what Kubo should have done was have Uryu, who’s a doctor at that point, pay for Orihime’s college instead of having Orihime pay for it with her own money

And mind you, this is only the stuff I’ve personally seen and experienced

I am hoping and praying that Edelstans never get as bad as Ichiruki stans did in 2016, but with how otherwise similar they are my hopes are dwindling more and more. I guess I can take solace in the fact that they aren’t quite... that bad yet? In terms of actions, at least? Their sentiments though are infinitely worse, so like... cool

#what the hell do I even tag this #i guess like #fandom observations #fandom critical #fandom criticism #yeah shit got BAD in the Bleach fandom in 2016 #and I fear what the return of the anime is gonna have in store #things already don't look good in the 3H fandom so like... yeah #wanted to get the Bleach rant off my chest for a long ass while now lol so glad I could do that #again wanna reiterate that this isn't exclusive to Bleach and 3H this is just my experience with them

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vantaenims · 4 years

Text

paper bandits | jimin

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: high school au | fluff, humor, angst

word count: 12.9k

warning/s: stealing and lots of ogling Jimin moments lmao.

summary: It’s pretty irresponsible for a student librarian to abandon her tasks in exchange for hiding behind a bookshelf at the back of the library, doing something impermissible with the class president you’re starting to crush really hard but oh well.

masterlist

The flag ceremony has been taking too long for your liking since the principal of the school managed to squeeze in her infamous ‘short speech’ that’s not even short to begin with as it has already been fifteen minutes when the speech started and she’s probably unaware that she has already taken ten minutes of everyone’s homeroom period.

Also, it isn’t very ideal to stand for an extended time and endure the cold spring air, specially in the early morning. Your school uniform isn’t enough to protect you away from the cold. Sure, you’re fully clothed with your long sleeve shirt, black vest, and navy blue blazer yet your lower body is freezing and suffering with only a skirt to cover your legs hence the reason why you’re brushing your shin against the back of your leg for some warmth.

You were relieved to hear that the principal started to conclude her speech, thinking you could finally do your unfinished Calculus homework for homeroom only to crush you down when she called the Student Council President, Kim Namjoon, for an announcement regarding his school project advocacy he implemented at the beginning of the school year - Project Paper Drive.

It’s main purpose is to encourage students to recycle paper materials such as newspapers, carton boxes, and other paper recyclables you can name. Essentially, the class with the highest contribution of recyclables by the end of the school year will be granted a pool party by the school’s very own swimming pool area plus a free food catering that will only be exclusive for the winning class.

It’s also the reason why the competition has become fiercer between classes, specially those who are leading in the ranks. Ever since the project started, your class and Namjoon’s have always been battling to take the first place to which Namjoon’s class claimed the top spot during the first quarter only for your class to take their place by the second quarter, leaving you on a tie as of the moment.

“Good Morning! I am here to announce the top five classes this third quarter for Project Paper Drive” Namjoon announced to the microphone as he looked down on the paper he’s holding.

“Do you think we’re at number 1 this time?” Sora - your friend - asked you as she looked back at you with a quite anxious look that mirrors your exact same face right now as you eagerly wait to hear the results.

“I hope so”

“The top two this time is…” you closed your eyes as you crossed your fingers, hoping that it’ll be Namjoon’s class but you were distracted upon the loud screams by your right when Namjoon spoke up, “Class 3-2! Congratulations Class 4-1 for taking the first place this third quarter!”

You bitterly looked over at Class 4-1 which happens to be Namjoon’s class. A scowl on your face is evident when you see them excitedly cheer each other, knowing how they now have the advantage of winning the project but that’s not what particularly is ticking you off.

“Isn’t it unfair to let Namjoon’s class participate in this project?” you snickered to Sora.

“I bet he told them the project before the school started so they could have a head start.”

You were about to complain more when Namjoon announced that they'd discovered the school’s archived newspapers in the recyclables but they were unable to trace to which class it came from since all of the recyclables are combined all together and ready for sorting when they have found out.

Namjoon then warned that the class will be eliminated from the project once they found out which class is responsible for stealing one of the school’s property.

“Everyone sure is competitive to go through those lengths” Sora said as she chuckled but you disregard her statement as you ask about one thing you’re more interested in.

“What happens though if we win next quarter? I mean-” you weren’t able to finish your sentence when your class adviser, Ms. Sung, shushed you as she ordered you to stand straight and put your arms on both of your sides, not even noticing that Namjoon’s done with his announcement, leaving everyone to go back to their own classrooms in an orderly manner.

As you got back to your room, the once quiet and disciplined class in the school grounds turned into a bit of a chaotic scene now that you only have twenty minutes left for your homeroom period, making everyone in a rush as some get in and out of the room to get their things in their locker while the others are chatting loudly or how the others are doing their unfinished homeworks like what you are doing right now.

You fell asleep last night when you were working on your Calculus homework and you sure do regret it now as it’s the next subject after homeroom and you still have four questions yet to be answered or maybe you could blame it on the school principal’s ‘short speech’.

“Are you done with your Calculus homework?” you urgently asked Sora who just plopped her books down on her table next to yours, reminding yourself to get your things once you're done with this.

“Here” Sora handed you her homework, thanking her as you wrote down the answers as fast as possible and once you were done, you stood up as you hurriedly made your way towards the door to go to your locker but Ms. Sung called you before you could make it outside the room.

“Y’N, can you call the class president while you’re outside?” you nodded as you got out of the classroom and you were instantly greeted with an empty hallway, considering everyone went through their lockers earlier except for you but you’re clueless where the class president is because you’re pretty much the only person in the hallway that is until you turned around the corner.

You first saw Jimin chatting up with his friends, Taehyung and Minjae, in a serious conversation as they seemed to not even notice your presence when you passed by. Not wanting to disturb their conversation just yet, you opted to head first towards your locker, looking over your schedule that’s pasted inside the door to get the text books you needed for today.

You looked back to see that they’re still completely unaware of your presence until you closed the door of your locker a bit too loudly when you hit it with your shoulder, cutting their conversation short as they glanced up towards the source of the noise.

“Jimin, Ms. Sung is looking for you” you said, walking to them closer with a bit of an embarrassed look for unexpectedly causing too much of a noise.

Jimin looked at his wristwatch, eyes widening once he took notice of the time, “Hey, let’s get back to the room.”

You continue to walk on your own after having said that but then Taehyung appeared right by your side with a big grin, “Y/N, are you done with Calculus?”

“Yeah, it’s on my table” you smiled, rolling your eyes in the process albeit playfully.

Taehyung is the one you’re closest with out of them three, simply because he’s the one sitting behind you. Truth be told, you were annoyed with him at first because of how he would constantly kick your chair during a quiz to ask you for answers but you eventually warmed up to him when he helped you out on that English quiz and since then, you’ve become ‘cheatmates’.

“Stop bothering her” Jimin said as he shoved Taehyung, making the latter chuckle as he ran off towards the classroom, shouting a thank you to you before he disappeared with Minjae inside the room.

“Here, let me help you” Jimin grabbed your books from you whilst offering you the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen.

This is one of the reasons why every girl in high school looks at him with hearts in their eyes but who wouldn’t anyway when Jimin has such a loving nature and an angel like personality - a total surprising quality for boys like his age who are rather rowdy and annoying.

Not to mention, he’s also smart and reliable thus the reason why he has been consistently elected as the class president for years now which is totally a plus point and it is true, that Jimin is indeed irresistible but let’s just say that you could describe your admiration for him as a passive one.

Reason is, it’s way too exhausting to like a boy that every girl likes and you don’t even want to deal with the competition so you don’t even wanna bother to join the other girls though you can’t guarantee that you’re safe away from exhibiting the same heart eyes for him from time to time because come on, we’re talking about Park Jimin here - no one can resist his charms.

“Thanks” you said as Jimin placed it on your table, smiling once again before he went towards the teacher’s table.

“Don’t start” you glared at Sora just as she was about to open her mouth.

“I haven’t even said something”

“I know what you’re going to say” you annoyingly replied, knowing full too well that she was just about to tease you as she always does since she’s that kind of person that sees malice in every little kind gesture from a boy and you sometimes hate how she thinks like that but oh well, you’re teenagers after all.

Jimin then walked towards the teacher’s table as he listened to whatever instruction Ms. Sung is giving him and then he politely bowed with a smile after they were done. He then went up the platform, walking towards the center as he spoke to call everyone’s attention.

“Everyone, I think you’ve all known that the project has been more competitive now that Class 4-1 reclaimed their place but there’s nothing to worry about. We still have one quarter left to top them and our recyclables are less than three kilos from them so it’s not much of a hassle to reclaim the top as long as we work on this together.” Jimin said with full determination, igniting everyone’s competitiveness. He was about to step down the platform that is until one of your classmates shared a brilliant suggestion for everyone to follow.

“I’ve got this from our neighbor” Jihyun stood up, raising her four liter plastic water container she brought with her today for the project, “Why don’t we start to collect recyclables around our neighborhood? It could help raise our numbers for this.”

Jimin clapped his hand as she pointed to Jihyun, “Ah yes, that’s a nice idea Jihyun. Any more suggestions?”

Everyone then started to relay one by one all their brainstormed ideas and it’s just fun to watch how the class looks so eager to win the project much like the attitude everyone exudes when it’s the school’s field day.

Nothing unites a class more when they’re after the same goal of winning, specially when we’re talking about an exclusive year end class pool party.

“Hey, isn’t it time for your shift already?” Sora asked you whilst looking at her wrist watch, making you do the same only for you to see that it’s already 12:40 in the afternoon which could only mean that you’re duty as the student librarian started ten minutes ago.

You scrambled on your feet as you aimlessly collected all of your things including the book you’re too engrossed reading that caused you to miss the time, “I’ll see you later!”

You hastily went out of the cafeteria as you rushed to the short cut, climbing the stairs two steps at a time until you finally made your way inside the library. You paused for a bit as you tried to catch your breath whilst you leaned your hips against the circulation desk.

“Y/N, you’re late” Ms. Kim, the school librarian, looked at you with a smile then looked back down to continue her duty of photocopying some papers, “I’ll let this pass since you’ve never been late.”

“I’m sorry, i was too busy reading and i didn’t notice the time” you said with relief evident in your voice as you went behind the desk to take the remaining papers from her.

Being a student librarian was not something you imagined to do but ever since junior year started, you decided to take on anything that could build up your student resume and get extra credits in preparation for the college entrance exam you’ll be taking in your senior year.

It’s not like it’s an actual bad thing considering you love reading books anyway but besides that you’ve also decided to compete during the school’s field day for the Volleyball game that got your team winning first place and to top that, your Science Investigatory Project was chosen to be featured during the Science Fair.

An average student is what describes you best but you muster every effort you got in you to be one of the best students out there since you’ve been dreaming of getting into Seoul National University though you must say that you’re still quite lacking when it comes to academics, specifically at Math.

“Is there anything else i can do?” you asked, placing down the stack of photocopied papers next to her.

Ms. Kim shook his head no at you, “There’s nothing else to do so why don’t you use this as your free time.”

You went to sit down on the corner meant for student librarians like you as you do what Ms. Kim has instructed you and it isn’t quick before you get fully immersed again in reading until you notice that you have a few pages left before the book ends.

“Ms. Kim, has the sequel for this book got returned already?” you asked, remembering how the book is supposed to be returned by now but you don’t recall putting it back on the shelf.

“Oh right”, Ms. Kim snapped her fingers as she remembered something, “I forgot to tell you it was returned last week.”

Getting up, you then proceeded to go to the fiction section where you instantly spotted the second book. You’re reading one of the most in demand book series today which is The Maze Runner. Since everyone’s been dying to borrow it, you took it out of the fiction section as you went at the far right end of the library where the Math section is located to hide it there just because no one really scans Math books anyway which makes it the perfect hiding spot.

As you were about to leave, you heard a knock coming from the back door of the library, causing you to furrow your brows at why would someone knock there when that door isn’t meant to be used since it leads to the fire exit. Regardlessly, you walk around the bookshelf covering the door only for you to discover something unusual.

A boy is crouched down in front of the door as he got an old newspaper from the pile next to him, slipping it under the door where it was pulled fastly as if there’s another person at the other side of the door. You were confused about what's happening until you started to piece out everything just when you recalled Namjoon’s announcement regarding the Paper Drive Project.

Holy shit, this must be the culprit who’s stealing newspapers for the project.

“Ms. Kim! I found the…” you shouted out, ready to snitch the boy who’s cheating their way in the project but you weren’t able to finish your sentence when the boy turned around with a quite startled look and next thing you know, he had his hand around your mouth to shut you up, eventually pinning you against the bookshelf in the process.

“Y/N…?” the boy in front of you sighed, removing his hand from you to place it instead on top of his chest.

“Jimin?” you bewilderedly looked at him with so many questions running around your head as you look over the pile of newspapers and then back at him, “Are you...the one stealing newspapers?” you asked, lowering your voice as you said the last part.

Before Jimin could answer you, he went back to the door to knock on it two times as if he’s sending some sort of a signal to someone from the other side. Jimin ran his hands along his hair only for him to pull it from frustration whilst he had his other hand rested on his waist with a quite stressed look.

“You’re not going to report me, are you?” Jimin glanced up at you with a worrisome look.

“I don’t know?” you stammered as you try to process everything.

Of course, he forgot that you’re a student librarian and it’s obviously your job to report instances like this but a part of him is confident that you won’t snitch him just because you’re in the same class and you both know that you don’t want the class to get eliminated from the project though he could only hope you’re thinking the same thing as him.

“Um, I guess i need to explain” Jimin grabbed your hand to drag you out behind the bookshelf as he guided you both towards the rows of tables and chairs but your attention was called before you could even settle on your seats.

“Y/N? What happened?”

Well, you thought you’re being so clever to find out the culprit only for you to end up digging your own grave or let’s just say a mass grave for your class because what are you supposed to say to Ms. Kim? That you find the newspaper thief who happens to be Jimin?

No,you can’t do that - you can’t risk your class not when the pool party is at stake here.

You should probably think of a lie right now but what’s worse is that you’re a very bad liar and that’s a fact but you should put your best into saying something that’ll make sense. You’re way too deep making up a lie in your head that Jimin had to squeeze your hand - that is surprisingly still holding his - when he noticed you’re taking way too long to answer.

“Ah i found the sequel” you nervously laughed as you pointed your hand swiftly towards the Math section, too swiftly that your hand almost slammed into Ms. Kim’s face who’s clearly startled by your sudden movement, causing you to bite your lip in embarrassment.

God, I’m so awful.

“I was looking for it in the fiction section and it’s - Sorry, i just got excited...i guess” you stopped yourself from rambling, not trusting yourself that you might spew out some nonsense and make yourself more obvious.

“Alright but remember the rule” she eyed the acrylic banner on the wall that says ‘Please Keep Quiet.’

“Yes, Ms. Kim and I’m sorry again”

Ms. Kim smiled at the both of you as she left, leaving Jimin to tug you towards the table that’s the farthest from the occupied ones and you are once again reminded of your still intertwined hands that you’ve unknowingly been holding on to ever since you caught him at the back of the library.

As you both sat down side by side, you cleared your throat awkwardly as you tried to unclasp your hand from Jimin who quickly detached your hand from his as he muttered an apology.

“Thank you for not telling,” Jimin muttered as he intertwined both of his hands instead on top of the table but he was suddenly taken aback with the tone of your voice when you spoke up.

“You could’ve been in so much trouble only if it weren’t for me! What would you do if you were caught by someone else!?” you whispered shout as you voiced out your frustration but more so because you’re still stuck in a state of disbelief that Jimin did this and it looks like there must’ve been a glitch in the system for him to be the culprit.

“Well, I guess, I’m lucky you caught me,” Jimin said as he tried to gauge your previous reaction, not really expecting for you to go off on him.

“That’s not the point. I mean, why do you have to steal those newspapers?” you can’t decipher why he needs to risk the class by stealing when there are good various suggestions made by your classmates awhile ago for you to win.

“I’m not stealing, I’m recycling them” Jimin stated out, causing you to furrow your brows even further at his dumb sounding statement, “Look, do you want to have the pool party or not?”

“I do, as much as everyone else” Jimin pointed at you, thinking he got his point across when you’re in fact still a bit lost.

Jimin then began to explain to you that this plan started after the end of the second quarter when your class placed first for the project and everyone looked joyous at the achievement. That specific moment sparked some kind of pride in him hence the reason why he felt the need to win the project for the class.

“Why newspapers though? Why not cardboard boxes, don’t they weigh heavier?”

“Yes, cardboard boxes are heavier but newspapers are being printed daily and they become pretty much useless the next day” Jimin glanced back towards the back of the library before continuing, “There are newspapers there dated five years ago. Why just keep them there when you can recycle them, right?”

Jimin quirked his brows along with a mischievous smile and you could swear that you feel like he’s being such a villain yet a hero at the same time - a Robin Hood of some sorts when he got you convinced by his statement right then and there.

“You’re not the only one on this plan, are you?” you narrowed your eyes as you remember how the newspaper was fastly pulled out as soon as he slipped it under the door.

“Taehyung and Minjae as well but i hope you won’t tell this to your friends or the class since you know, it could be risky and the fewer, the better”

“Okay” you sighed as you got up, ready to leave to go back to the circulation desk but Jimin is a bit discontented with your answer as he’s still perplexed if he could really trust you not to tell everyone.

“Wait” Jimin held your arm, making you sit back down “Do you think it would be smart to have another one in?”

“What do you mean?”

“I just realized that you can be my lookout and since you’re the student librarian, that automatically makes you the least suspicious one to be doing this”

“Like an inside job?” you gave Jimin a deadpan look because if you agree, you could be at risk of losing your extra credits and potentially ruin your credentials if you were caught by chance but on the other note, the pool party is too tempting.

“If you like to call it that way. So is it a deal?” Jimin cheekily smiled, leaning forward to you with his hand held out under the table.

You didn’t contemplate it too much because next thing you know, you grabbed his hand to seal the deal.

You were out of focus as soon as you heard your stomach grumble, too hungry to even process the discussion about the difference between Ionic Bond and Covalent Bond in Chemistry. As if the gods were in your favor, you looked at the clock above the whiteboard to see that there’s five minutes left before lunch time.

Bored as wits, you pushed down on your click pen as you synchronized it with the ticking movement of the second hand of the clock but it looks like Sora’s not too pleased at what you were doing as she snatched the pen away from your hold.

“Stop, it’s annoying” Sora hissed.

“I’m hungry” you grumbled, regretting it now that you skipped breakfast and recess just because you told yourself that you’re going to take your diet seriously now but it looks like you can’t even make it through your first day.

“What did I tell you? Skipping meals is unhealthy.”

“It’s called intermittent fasting” you reminded Sora as you huff, laying your back against your chair, still looking at the time that seems to be slower than ever so you decided to observe your classmates in the room.

Half the students at the back were either sleeping or chatting up with their seatmate while those who are in front are too engrossed in the lesson whilst you in the middle seems to be caught in between the mood of those who are at the front and back.

Your eyes then remained to the person on the right side of the room who’s seating one row ahead of you, realizing that it has been a week already since you caught him stealing newspapers at the back of the library.

Also, it has been a week when you became part of the plan though you still have not done your job of being a look out since you suggested to Jimin that you need to wait for at least a week for the issue to die down before you could continue.

You have mutually agreed that you could only steal the newspapers once or twice a week with no particular day since having a pattern could get you caught plus you still have to do your job of being a student librarian.

But that’s not what you have in mind right now because you’re stuck in admiring Jimin’s face and observe how he has such a perfectly nice jaw yet he has such cute fluffy cheeks that you’d want to squish and bite if given the chance because look at him, he looks like such a warm rice cake served every new year.

You snapped out of your weird thoughts that are definitely caused by your hunger and thankfully, the bell rang just as you glanced back towards the clock, causing you to immediately stand up as you rushed towards the door but your attention was called before you could make it outside.

You looked at the source to see Jimin raised his eyebrows at you, taking the hint that today’s going to be the first time you’ll be executing the plan with them and you’re painfully nervous for it that you only even spent twenty minutes out of your allotted thirty minutes lunch time before you got yourself in the library.

Thankfully, Ms. Kim’s always lenient with you and you don’t have that much task to do today besides stapling twenty sets of papers. After that, you headed straight towards the back of the library to meet Jimin who’s sitting on the floor as he patiently waited for you and once you’re back there, he began to slip the newspapers under whilst you stayed behind the bookshelf as you peeked outside in between the spaces.

“Do you know the reason why the council was able to find out about the stolen newspapers” you asked as you looked back on Jimin who’s busy slipping the newspapers under the door whilst he’s crouching down.

“Why?”

“It’s because the school seal is stamped at the back.”

Jimin paused for a moment to look at the back of the newspaper to confirm your statement and sure enough, the school seal is there to straight up remind him how dumb he must’ve been to not notice it.

“So you better remove that page before you put it in the paper drive” you said.

“See, this is the reason why it’s smart to have you in” you shook your head, smiling as you went back to looking outside.

“I think it’d be also good if you could switch your place with Taehyung or Minjae to not raise suspicion”

“Okay, then we’ll do that”

Since there are only a few students inside the library, you sat down on the floor with your crossed ankles and your right shoulder against the bookshelf. Your position right now has given you a perfect view of Jimin discarding his blazer at the moment, leaving him only with his buttoned up white shirt but not only that, he also rolled up the sleeves up to his elbows as if that isn't such a sight to look at.

Jimin may be facing his back to you but this is enough for you to get a good view of his physique but then you should really stop these inappropriate thoughts.

As if Jimin sensed you watching him, he’s just right in time to catch you in the act of gawking at him that made you straight out bashful as you try to look anywhere but him.

“Are you tired?”

“Just a bit” you twisted your body so you could direct your gaze through the gaps of the bookshelf whilst you busy your hands as you pressed your palms down on your legs to act as if they’re hurting though you’re more likely just fizzing out your embarrassment.

It was silent after that and it just made things awkward, specifically for you as you try to think of a topic you could talk about since you and Jimin are not close to begin with, maybe just an acquaintance.

You were racking your brain for some ideas until your eyes wandered over the Math Section, “You’re good at Calculus, right?”

“I think i just take it in well”

You let out a little huff as soon as you heard his humble remark, “You always get the highest scores in exams.” The compliment made Jimin shy as he smiled in a way that made his eyes turn into little crescents, making him look so undeniably adorable.

“What about you?”

“I suck at Math” you chuckled, “I’m pretty good at History though since i could memorize the dates or details pretty easily.”

“Well, i suck at History so that makes us fair”

Jimin knocked on the door twice, once he slipped the last newspaper as he dusted off his hand before sitting down with his back against the door and is now facing you, “I could teach you Calculus if you want.”

“Huh?” The offer came out of nowhere and it was so sudden, causing you to raise your eyebrows at him in surprise.

“I mean, we have a test on Calculus this Thursday” Jimin said as he looked at you, waiting for your response but he was met with none, “If you just want help is all.”

You don’t have to say anything for Jimin to figure out that you were not interested at all and he regrets it now that his statement might have sounded too forward for you so he stood up, unrolling his sleeves as he grabbed the blazer off of the floor as quickly as possible.

“Yeah, sure” you stood up as well, straightening down your skirt as you watch Jimin halt his movements.

You don’t even know why you got nervous for a moment when Jimin just asked if he could help you in Calculus but your mind sure does have a way of thinking that maybe he’s making a move on you when in reality he’s just being the kind person he is.

“Oh okay, does after class sound good?” Jimin’s voice peeked a little at your answer.

“I still have to go here after class though.”

“I could go here then we could also study here, is that okay?”

You think your heart just skipped a little after hearing that but you composed yourself as you nodded at him but you think your heart skipped for the second time when he smiled to display once again those cute little crescented eyes that you so began to adore just now.

Sora twirled the blue ribbon from your ponytail around her fingers as she watch how focused you are in writing down the notes for your last subject whilst her attention is the total opposite from you, too eager for the class to be dismissed so you could now both go to the mall to eat out and do some window shopping.

“Where do you want to eat?” you stopped writing, head turning sideways as you raised your eyebrows until it dawned on you that you have agreed to go to the mall with her last week and it must’ve totally slipped your mind hence why you’re giving her now an apologetic look.

“Can we go tomorrow instead? I kind of need to study today”

“Study with Jimin?” you playfully rolled your eyes, ignoring her question as you went back to write, “What’s with you and Jimin?”

“Nothing”

“Well, you sure do spend a lot of time together lately” Sora is in fact not lying when she said that. Not only were you just getting the archived newspapers at the library but your after class study sessions have become a daily routine for you two ever since last week.

You understood Calculus much better now and thanks to Jimin’s help that you’re now able to get higher scores in your quizzes and you must say that he’s equally doing good in History too because as it turns out, you discovered that Jimin retains the details much better when someone is quizzing him.

“Normally, i’d be pissed you forgot our mall date but i’ll let you pass since we’re talking about your lovelife here.”

“Sora” you warned, getting annoyed at her constant teasing.

“What? I have a feeling you’d end up with Jimin before the end of the school year” you scoffed at her oddly specific statement.

“And how could you be so sure about that?”

A piece of paper was placed on top of your notebook and upon seeing it, you immediately saw your full name and Jimin’s though it’s a bit incomprehensible to read because of how the common letters are crossed off for unknown reasons until you saw the word ‘FLAMES’ written on capital letters below your names and you could only glare at Sora when you saw where the circle landed on - L for Lovers.

“What are you? A middle schooler?” you soon burst into a chuckle, finding the whole thing ridiculous.

“FLAMES never fails, trust me” you shook your head as you went on to pack your things once you heard the bell ring.

“I’m sorry Sora, See you tomorrow then” you waved, slinging your backpack over your shoulder.

“You better not forget it” Sora accusedly pointed at you, chuckling as you nodded your head as you went out of the classroom.

You stopped by your locker first to stuff in your things except for your Calculus book and notes since Jimin will be teaching you about Limits on Combined Functions for today.

Arriving first in the library, you then proceeded to finish your task for today which is to return books into their proper place. Thankfully, there were only four books that got returned, leaving you with pretty much nothing left for you to do after so you instead got yourself settled on one of the tables as you opened the textbook and scanned the notes you took that you barely understand anyway but might as well try.

“Hey” Jimin greeted you, sitting himself down next to you as he unzipped his backpack to get out his things, “Did you understand the lesson a while ago?”

Shaking your head, you give him an apologetic look, “Not so much.”

“That’s okay, I'll just explain it from the start” Jimin told you as the sweetheart he is.

Opening the textbook, Jimin started to explain the lesson a while ago with no difficulty as he constructed graphs and wrote out the solutions so you could see the step by step process. You’re thankful that he’s being so patient with you no matter how many questions you throw at him but he said that it’s good to be inquisitive than to be uninterested.

Once you finally get the gist of it, you find yourself staring lost at his face and watch how he looks so cool just talking about functions and their limits. How unfair is it that he doesn’t have to exert much effort to look so ethereal, no wonder he’s so good at catching everyone’s hearts.

So handsome.

Jimin suddenly looked at you with a smile forming on his face when he caught you looking at him and you panicked thinking that you might’ve voiced out your thoughts out loud but he’s looking at you as if he’s waiting for you to speak.

“Huh?”

Jimin smiled as he then pointed towards the parabola he constructed on the Cartesian Plane, “I said, What’s the f(g(-8))?”

“Oh um wait” you grabbed the paper from him as you analyzed the graph, “It’s 5.”

Jimin enthusiastically nodded his head, “It’s not so hard is it?”

Your study session for Calculus went on as Jimin gave you five more exercise questions from the textbook before you called it a day once you proved that you understand the lesson when you answered all the questions right.

“Aren’t you going home yet?” Jimin asked as he stood up to push in his chair, backpack clinging into his shoulder.

“I still need to clean up a bit then I'm good to go” you told him as you picked up some crumpled papers under the table.

“I’ll help you”

“No, it’s fine” you dismissed him as you waved your hand no to him but he already removed his backpack as he helped you by aligning and fixing the tables and chairs. Knowing Jimin, he would persistently insist to help you no matter how many times you try to deny his offer so you just let him be as you went on to shut down the computers.

“Leave that, it’s fine” you chuckled when he was about to remove the trash bag from the bin, “Good bye, Ms. Kim!”

“Good bye” Ms. Kim waved to the both of you, “Oh and thank you Jimin for helping us clean.”

“No worries, Ms. Kim. Take care!” As you said your farewells, you and Jimin both descended down the stairs as you got out of the building.

It’s such a weird sight for the quadrangle to be this empty and you figured that you must’ve studied longer than the usual when you see the sky painted in hues of pink and orange that could only mean that the sun had already begun to set - it’s already quarter to six when you took a look on your wristwatch.

“Ah, I can't believe it's rush hour already” Jimin sighed once he saw how crammed the bus stop right beside your school is with everyone aggressively fighting for their way to get onto the bus quickly, “Do you want to go to 7-Eleven to past time?”

“Yeah, sure” It’s late anyway so what’s the difference with getting home later when you know that you’ll be standing at the bus stop for fifteen minutes or so before you could eventually get in a bus and go home.

The door chimes rang once you got inside the store with you heading straight towards the Slurpee machine to get yourself some Wild Cherry. Jimin followed suit as he got a cup for himself, placing it under the dispenser for Coke but what intrigued you the most is that he mixed it with Wild Cherry.

“Does that taste good?” you gave him a look of distaste as you watched him put the lid on his cup.

“Why don’t you try it for yourself”

“My cup’s already full”

“Drink it, the attendant wouldn’t even see you” Jimin stood beside you to give you some cover and you took the chance to hurriedly sip on your slurpee which you kind of regret now that you got a brain freeze.

“Sometimes i think you’re just being nice so you could cancel out doing your little evil things” you chuckled as you mixed a quarter of Coke into your Wild Cherry.

“Not really” Jimin smiled as you both lined up, “Do you want some snacks? It’s my treat.”

“See, you’re back to being nice again but you don’t have to, it’s okay” you said, opening your wallet to get some money but Jimin beat you to it when he handed the bill to the attendant.

“Think of it as my reward for you since you did pretty well on Calculus today.”

“Okay, thank you then” you smiled, walking over towards the seat and table by the window, you both sat down side by side, sipping on your mixed flavored Slurpees - which is surprisingly good - as you watch the bus stop across from where you are.

“You sure you don’t want anything to eat?”

You shook your head, “It’ll be dinner time soon and my mom would scold me if i told her i’m full.”

“Well, same here” Jimin chuckled as he stopped eyeing the aisle of chips behind you, joining you instead in looking out the window.

“Who do you think will get on the bus first? Miss striped shirt girl or Mister black turtleneck?” you asked as you take interest towards the two figures standing in front, giving them an advantage to get in the bus quicker than the others.

“Wanna bet on it? You need to treat me the next time we’re here if i win.”

“Okay and if I win, you need to treat me again”, you said, “I’ll pick Miss Striped Shirt”

Jimin stroked his chin as he think of something to say about the man, “I think Mister Turtleneck will let Miss Striped Shirt go in first just because he dresses like a gentleman to me”

You scoffed, “Chivalry doesn’t exist when it’s rush hour, specially when everyone is equally itching to go home.”

“Let’s see and wait” and so you did with full seriousness as you put both of your arms on the table, still sipping on your slurpee as you keep your eyes focused on the two of them until a bus arrived, blocking your view of Miss Striped Shirt and Mister Turtleneck completely thus you wait until you can fully see again the bus stop.

“What do you want?” you spoke defeatedly as soon as Miss Striped Shirt disappeared, leaving behind Mister Turtleneck on the bus stop.

“This same Slurpee and a Jjapaghetti.”

“Fine.”

“Oh and some hot bar too and maybe -”

“Hey! you’re milking it” you argued whilst you pushed his shoulders albeit playfully.

Jimin laughed, standing up as he readjusted his backpack and throwing out the now empty red cup into the bin, “Let’s go, it’s getting dark.”

And that’s how your daily study sessions in the library also turned into daily food trips across the 7-Eleven in front of your school while you wait for the rush hour to die down, betting on people at bus stops as you drink on Slurpees and snack on convenience store food finds that is sometimes treated by you or Jimin - depends on the winner of the last bet.

Slowly, you’ve come to learn that rush hours are not so bad after all.

It’s lunch time and you’re supposed to be at the back of the library but you’re stuck behind the circulation desk this time as you were told to cut up evaluation forms which means that Jimin is left to fend for himself though you’ve warned him to be cautious for the time being you’re not there to be his look out.

Letting out a hiss, you dropped the scissors as you pressed your fingers on the red spot that appeared along the base of your thumb and index finger, relieving them from hand fatigue. If it had not been for the broken paper cutter, you would’ve been done by now but it just had to be broken when you needed it the most - how cruel this world is.

You didn’t let the sound of the door opening bother you but you were able to make out the conversation between the student and Ms. Kim for your ears to perk up. The student is asking her for an Accounting Book - not sure why she’s looking for it but Ms. Lee answered her with delight as she pointed out that it’s in the Math Section.

Math Section.

Those two words are enough for you to drop what you’re doing as you leaned backwards in your chair, taking a good glimpse of who this student is and to your surprise, she just happens to belong in Namjoon’s class.

Before you could interject to say that you’ll look it up for her, she left as she walked straight further down at the back of the library, causing you to stand up as you briskly follow her footsteps but she just seems to be much quicker than you now that she’s halfway through.

Gladly, she stopped from walking as she looked over the voice that called her name. She waved to the group of students seated on a table as she first made her way to them which is enough for you to buy some time and go towards the back of the library to remind Jimin.

“Someone’s coming over here” you whispered as you tapped on Jimin’s shoulder.

“Who?”

“I don’t know but she’s in Namjoon’s class” you told him frantically but Jimin rather looks way too relaxed as he still continuously slips out newspapers, “Come on, let’s go before we get caught.”

“Just a few more.”

“Jimin, I think that’s enough already” you’ve seen way too many movies or documentaries about thievery or such for you to know that most of them goes unsuccessful because they’re being greedy at the last minute when they could’ve made it if they just chose to let some of it go.

Well, you could only hope that it won’t happen to the both of you.

“Two newspapers and i’m done” you huffed as you let him be, seeing that Namjoon’s classmate is still talking with those students.

You continue to peer through the spaces of the shelf until Jimin alerts you with bad news, “Shit, it’s stuck.”

“Push it” you looked back to see that Jimin managed to insert a bunch of newspapers in one go, making it impossible for the newspaper to go through the other side no matter how much he pushed it with his hands.

Abandoning your position by the shelf, you went to the door as you kicked the newspaper forcefully but it wouldn’t budge so you lower your head down by the space under the door to give out a message.

“Taehyung, pull it out harder.”

“Why won’t it go through!?” Jimin whispered in frustration as he continued to push it whilst you just stared at him with an annoyed expression when he should have listened to you in the first place but this is no place for you to argue so you just stood up as you went back behind the shelf.

Panic settled in within you once again when you saw Namjoon’s classmate gone on the table and now see that she’s making her way towards the Math Section.

“She’s coming! Hurry!” you whispered and looked back to see that there was no progress for the stuck newspaper, making you lose your mind as your anxiety picked up because getting out of the place is surely not a viable option for you anymore, not when she’s too close in your area.

“Fuck! What do we do now!?” Jimin’s hair is messed up with how many times he mindlessly ran his fingers through it.

“I don’t know, just pull it back inside” you clutched both of your hands on the shelf, causing a book to fall with a thud, cursing yourself when Namjoon’s classmate looked at your direction and you swear you wanted to cry right then and there when she instead took the path towards where you’re hiding.

“Oh shit, she’s going here” you try to think of any lie to save your asses but you can’t come up with anything and this might be the end of it - Karma finally managed to catched up to chew on you both and you could now only bid your farewell towards the pool party you’ve all dreamed to have.

You heaved, finally accepting your demise when you suddenly heard the two knocks coming off of the back door but before you could even process it. A pair of hands grabbed you by the shoulders, turning you around so swiftly that made you step back to regain your balance until your back hit against the shelf.

There’s a little to no space between you and Jimin but that space was soon closed off when Jimin leaned dangerously close to your face and you didn’t have enough time to ask what he was doing when you felt a pair of lips against yours, taking your breath away completely.

You’re not entirely sure what’s happening right now or maybe your mind cannot wrap around the fact that Jimin is kissing you right now and holding you so close with his hand placed on your waist whilst the other is on your neck.

Instinctively, you flutter your eyes shut as you place your hand on his shoulders, kissing him back and it must’ve caught Jimin off guard when you felt his body suddenly get tense and how his hold on your waist tightened a bit.

You can hear the sound of your rapid heartbeat through your ears and you’re quite clueless if it happens to be coming off from the adrenaline or right in this exact moment but just as you were getting into it, your thoughts were then interrupted by an audible gasp coming from your side.

“Oh um...sorry.”

You broke the kiss, head turning to the side to conceal your face away from the person who just caught you two kissing. You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in the beginning as your mind wandered at the fact that Jimin’s arm is still around you, keeping you close as ever.

You gently pushed Jimin’s shoulder to create some distance between you two because you’re quite not sure if your heart could bear more this kind of intimacy that felt so foreign yet felt so good at the same time and you don’t know what to make out of this situation.

What the hell just happened.

Stunned, you touch your still tingling lips with your fingers as you try to process everything. You’d actually thought you were going to be caught but you totally weren’t expecting that you’d end up kissing Jimin or how you actually didn’t expect for this to be your first kiss even.

Glancing up, you were immediately met with Jimin’s eyes but you instantly avoided his stare as you tried to look elsewhere other than him as awkwardness began to slowly fill in the air. It must’ve looked like Jimin’s dumbfounded with what just happened too as he started to act fidgety just like you do.

“You uh have something there” you broke the silence as you pointed to the corner of his mouth where you could perfectly see the pink stain that came from your tinted lip balm. Jimin glided his tongue along his lips before he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

The awkwardness remained when Jimin refused to talk, leaving you to move your feet quickly as you tried to escape out of there but you didn’t have the chance when Jimin suddenly grabbed your hand, holding you back in place.

“Y/N, I’m - There’s no other way to explain why we’re here” Jimin said as he scratched the back of his neck.

Well, that’s a fair point because honestly, it’s more reasonable for two students to be caught making out at the back of the library than to be caught stealing archived newspapers except that the former sounds way too controversial but do you really have a choice back there?

“Um yeah, at least we’re not caught” you chuckled and you cringe at how forced it sounds.

“Yeah” Jimin muttered that’s barely above a whisper. It’s definitely getting more awkward here so you take this as a cue to leave again.

“I have to go back” you eyed Jimin’s hand that’s still holding you, “you know, to cut up some forms.”

“Right, yeah” Jimin chuckled as he loosened his hold around your wrist to pick up his blazer off the floor instead, “Um are we good?”

“Yeah, of course” you reassured him with a smile as you finally met his gaze.

Walking back, your smile completely faltered as you thought about how Jimin believed you right there when in fact you’re still a bit unsure for yourself if things could go back to normal after this but it looks like you must’ve improved in telling lies and you don’t know if this is something you should be proud of.

Lowering down your book, you take a glimpse of the surroundings around you and your gut feeling is right to tell you that someone is staring at you or should you say that everyone is staring at you unsubtly.

“Is there something on my face?” you asked Sora as you closed your book to put it down the table, making everyone look away as they go back into their own worlds.

“You have a new pimple on your chin” Sora pointed out to you using her chopsticks before picking another piece of Gimbap to chew on.

That isn’t surely something for everyone to look at but you have a bad feeling that this has something to do with the kiss you shared with Jimin yesterday but could news really be that fast to spread out?

“Anyway, i need to get going”

As you walk to exit the cafeteria, you try to keep your head down, feeling extra conscious today with everyone’s attention on you and that is something you hated - to be the center of attention.

When you got yourself inside the library, you went inside the circulation desk to sit on your corner as you grabbed the scissors to finish up the remaining forms but your movement was halted when a hand was placed on top of your shoulder.

“Y/N, how are you feeling today?” Ms. Lee said with a lace of concern in her voice.

You were confused for a moment until you recalled that you excused yourself for your after class duties in the library yesterday, telling her that your dog had just died even though you clearly don’t even have a pet at home.

“I’m fine, still a bit sad is all”

“I’m sorry again for your loss but it’ll get better day by day” Ms. Lee rubbed her hand on your back before she went back to her seat, leaving you to continue your task.

Honestly, you’ve made up that excuse just so you could go home right away and not meet Jimin for your study session in fear of facing him. You just can’t control being shy or an awkward mess around Jimin after the kiss hence the reason why you try your best to avoid him in all places as much as possible to save you from embarrassment but you can’t help but be curious about one thing.

“Was Jimin here yesterday after class?” you asked.

“Oh yes, he was actually looking for you so i had to relay the news to him if you don’t mind.”

You smiled, nodding your head in understanding but there’s also one thing you’re curious about, “Did he stay here to study?”

Ms. Lee hummed, “He even helped me to clean the library before I closed it down, such a good friend you have”

“Yeah, he is” you mumbled, feeling bad that you stood him up and how childish it is of you to avoid him just because you really don’t like confrontations. You’re just trying to compose your thoughts and feelings before you could muster the courage to face him is what you like to prefer what you’re actually doing.

Before you could delve into it too much, the ringing sound of the landline phone distracted you. Ms. Lee then tapped you on the shoulders, telling you if you could attend to the student in front of her whilst she answered the call.

“Hi, how may i help you?” you asked as you sat down on Ms. Lee’s chair.

“I’d like to check out these books please.”

“Please scan your I.D.” you instructed whilst you typed in the necessary details but you can’t help but notice how she whispered something to her friend who’s right beside her but you were only able to coherently hear the word ‘ribbon.’

You lifted your head only to be able to meet her widened eyes as she frantically blurted out a question to you, “Your ribbon looks nice, where’d you get that?”

You touch the ends of the blue ribbon wrapped around your ponytail, a bit skeptical for her sudden enthusiasm about the ribbon when it’s plainly just an ordinary thing and can be commonly found almost everywhere but you gave her an answer nonetheless.

“I bought it in a department store” you politely smiled as you handed her borrowed books.

“Ah it’s very pretty” she gathered her books off the desk, smiling at you, “thank you!”

You suspiciously looked at the girl as she left the library but shrugged it off completely, thinking you’re just being too paranoid and she’s just genuinely curious to know about your ribbon.

There’s no way this is about you and Jimin.

Lunch break flew by in a matter of seconds because next thing you know, you’re sitting inside the classroom once again, taking down notes about the Joseon Dynasty when you noticed Sora looking at you in your peripheral vision.

“What?” you asked. Normally, you’d just ignore her but it bothers you that she’s evidently looking at you the way everyone has been doing since this morning.

Sora lifted her fingers as she gingerly twirled your blue ribbon around her fingers, “You never told me you weren’t just studying with Jimin.”

“What do you mean?” you leaned closer, hoping that she won’t say the exact same thing you’re thinking about.

“Well, according to the news spreading around. Jimin was seen in the back of the library making out with a girl wearing a blue ribbon around her ponytail”

Oh no.

So you weren’t being delusional after all but you guessed it right that news about you and Jimin has spread like wildfire around the campus judging by everyone’s looks and how the girl from the library awhile ago isn’t actually curious about your ribbon but she was particularly playing to be interested because you happen to be the mystery girl involved in the school gossip.

“And everyone thinks it’s me?” you scoffed.

“It’s a very specific detail and it perfectly describes you plus all i know, your hair has always been styled like that ever since middle school.”

You were about to get more defensive that is until a sudden loud thud caught you by surprise, making everyone in the class direct their attention in front to discover that Mr. Song apparently slammed the textbook against the teacher’s table on purpose.

“Ms. Yun and Y/L/N, would you like to share your conversation with the class?”

In a matter of seconds, everyone’s eyes turned towards the both of you and you could never wish more for the floor to swallow you whole.

“I’m sorry” you meeked with Sora following after you.

“I’m sure everyone is interested to hear whatever you’re talking about, right class?” Mr. Song chuckled and you swear you’re so close to tearing up because your teacher has to downright embarrass you in front of everyone as if today’s events aren’t the worst for you.

Biting your lip, you remained silent as your shaking eyes scanned to look at your classmates and you’re just thankful they didn’t find Mr. Song’s statement to be humorous at all as their face remained stoic or they’re just too intimidated to speak up.

Coincidentally, your gaze fell on Jimin who offered you an apologetic smile and you can’t say that the gesture comforted you a little bit though you didn’t explicitly show it to him as you quickly diverted your eyes back on the floor.

“I won’t endure this kind of behavior again, is this clear for everyone?” Mr. Song sternly looked at the both of you before he continued the discussion.

You slumped on your seat as you put your hand against your temple. Sighing, you picked up your pen, trying your best to diligently take down notes despite your worsened mood and as you remembered your conversation with Sora, you loosened the blue ribbon around your ponytail, letting your hair cascade down your face for the first time ever in school.

You can’t believe you find yourself at the back of the library again despite how the place has gone controversial for you because of the school gossip but you remind yourself that you’re only here because this is going to be the last time you’ll play your part as the lookout since the winner for the project will be announced at the flag ceremony on Monday.

Obviously, you’re not with Jimin this time but with Taehyung. It has been a week and you’re still avoiding Jimin who’s still consistently trying to get you to talk with him. He would constantly send you messages but you never click on it to view it or how he would still go to the library after class even though you won’t show up.

All those efforts made by him eventually stop after you have ignored him for four days - he altogether didn’t send you messages anymore, he didn’t even come at the library after class, or how he would also ignore you whenever you pass by each other at the classroom or the hallways which eventually made the gossip rapidly die` down when everyone seemed to not believe it with the way you were acting around each other.

You would say you started to feel bad for avoiding him but you just don’t know how to approach him. It’s so easy for you to tell yourself to act normal but you always chicken out whenever you try to come near him and apologize because there has been one thing you’ve realized.

You’re crushing really hard on Jimin.

“Which cram school are you going to this summer?” Taehyung asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

Oh right, summer’s coming and that means you have to get yourself into a cram school by the end of the school year to prepare for college entrance examinations and it looks like you were too preoccupied with other things to forget about this.

You pick on the loose thread at the end of your skirt, twisting it around your fingers before you pull on it to remove it, “I don’t know, I still haven’t looked around, what about you?”

“Same here but i think i’ll go with whatever Jimin picks.”

With the mention of Jimin’s name, you looked back on Taehyung who knocked on the door twice before he sat down on the floor to face you. Taehyung has never mentioned to you about the gossip before, thinking that maybe he’s just clueless to what’s happening or he’s just minding his own business.

“Speaking of”, maybe he’s not clueless after all, ''What university are you planning to go to?”

You chuckled, thinking he would bring up Jimin, “Seoul National University, I hope.”

“Oh wow, it’s hard to get in there” Taehyung exclaimed and you thought that maybe you sounded way too ambitious.

“I was just hoping for it but you’ll never know. What about you?”

“I was hoping for Seoul National University too but i don’t think i’ll get in there so i’m fine with wherever i’m accepted” Taehyung said it like it isn’t much of a big deal to him though it’s clear that he’s serious in talking about it and surprisingly, you’ve never seen Taehyung act so seriously until now.

“You’re smart, Taehyung”, you assured him.

“You think? I mean, I have good grades this year and it’s all thanks to you.”

“You’re just not serious about it now but i can tell you’re smart. I mean, you helped me on an English quiz before so you’ll never know, right?”

“I guess, thanks” Taehyung gave you a warm smile.

You continue to talk with Taehyung for the rest of your lunchtime and you eventually talked about the Project Paper Drive that’s coming off to an end today. Time surely does fly by quickly when you felt like it was only yesterday when you joined the plan and all you have to do now is wait for Monday to come to hear the results.

It’ll be a truly joyous moment if your class happens to win and have a year end pool party like what everyone is dreaming of but it’ll be disappointing if you happen to lose after all the efforts you’ve done for it.

As Monday rolled in, you’ve never been this excited or nervous to hear what Namjoon has to say about the results but as usual, you’re impatiently waiting once again for the school principal to finish her ‘short speech’.

The weather is beginning to feel hot which is very much the opposite back to Namjoon’s last announcement during the third quarter. Speaking of the devil, Namjoon has finally made his way towards the platform with the final result on his hand.

“Good Morning! I guess you all know that i am here to announce the winner for Project Paper Drive but before i could do so, i would like to thank everyone for participating and getting involved in helping the environment. All in all, we have accumulated a total of 328 kilos worth of recyclables.”

“Do you think we’ll win?” Sora asked you.

You nodded your head as you crossed your fingers, eyes closing as you whispered repeatedly the name of your section - your class is going to win and everyone will be having a pool party. You’re claiming it already because that’s how the law of attraction works.

“And the winner for Project Paper Drive is…” Namjoon unfolded the paper as he read out the result.

“Class 3-2!”

“Class 4-1!”

You whispered at the same time as Namjoon announced the winner but the roaring screams didn’t come from your line. Looking to your right, you see Class 4-1 jumping with joy as everyone hugged and cheered for each other whilst you looked back to your class to see everyone looking defeated, specially when you looked over at Taehyung, Minjae, and Jimin.

I guess, karma finally managed to catched up to you this time.

Once you all got back to the classroom, half of the class are quiet whilst the other half are conspiring against Class 4-1 for cheating the results when ironically, it was your class who had done it yet you didn’t even manage to win.

“Hey, you okay?” you looked back at Taehyung on your seat.

“No because why do we only get a chocolate bar for each person as the second prize?” you complained as you break a piece of chocolate to pop it in your mouth.

“A pizza party would’ve been nice huh?” Taehyung broke a piece from yours but he already ate it when you swatted his hand away.

“Hey! Eat your own” Taehyung chuckled, turning a deaf ear as he broke another piece from yours to feast on.

“How about we get to have our own pizza party for the class then we could also have our own but it’s just me, you, Jimin and Minjae - can’t let out efforts go in vain”

“Go tell it to Jimin then” you said but it kind of sounded spiteful the moment the words came out of your mouth though you don’t intentionally mean it that way.

“You tell him”, Taehyung gave you a knowing look as he raised his eyebrows in a teasing manner, breaking another piece from your chocolate again despite the cold glare you’re sending him.

“I guess, you don’t need my Chemistry homework then” you grabbed your paper off of Taehyung’s table but he stole it from you just in time.

“Alright, fine i’m sorry” Taehyung laughed, licking his fingers that are covered with chocolate before he grabbed his pen to do his homework.

It dawned on Taehyung that you and Jimin are not on speaking terms because of how you always divert the topic to another one whenever Jimin’s mentioned and that goes the same with Jimin as well.

There’s just something about it that makes the whole situation between you both amusing for him because he might be clueless at times but it’s not that hard for him to figure out that there’s clearly something going on between you two yet you’re just too stupid or maybe too stubborn to recognize and talk about it.

Final examinations are next week and you have trouble in keeping up with the new lessons in Calculus but no matter how many Youtube videos you’ve watched at home to help yourself, you just don’t seem to get it. It doesn’t look easy at all compared with the way Jimin's teaching it to you and that’s enough to frustrate you.

You let out a sigh as you lay your head down on top of your Calculus textbook, giving up from trying to understand it as you instead blow out puffs of air towards the pencil you place in between the pages, watching as it rolled back and forth towards your face and the middle of the book.

Looking over the expanse of the library, you noticed how you’re the only one remaining in the study area just because it’s already closing time and the reason you’re still here is because you still have to study more and help Ms. Lee in closing down the library.

You were then brought out of your state of staring into nothingness when the pencil hit your nose along with the sound of the doors opening, making you turn your head to the other side to see who’s this student that managed to get in here beyond closing hours.

You immediately scrambled into your seat as you sat up straight, bewildered at the sight of the unexpected guest as he went towards the circulation desk to talk to Ms. Lee and you hope that he’s just here to have some nice little chit chat.

What is Jimin even doing here anyway?

You thought it was clear that he has given up trying to reach you after his many attempts but he’s here, standing a few meters away from you. If anyone’s watching you right now, you looked honestly ridiculous for panicking as you try to search for exit points within the library just in case Jimin will come over in this area.

But then, maybe you’re just too quick to think things that he’s here for you and you just need to come off your high horse and stop thinking that the world revolves around you. You just wish that you could get rid of these feelings so you could stop being awkward around him but it seems like that will not happen any sooner.

Panic sure fully settled in when you saw Ms. Lee’s hand pointed towards your direction, causing you to instinctively remove yourself off the seat as you walked towards the nearest bookshelf to hide yourself.

It’s a disadvantage that you can’t see past the bookshelf to see what Jimin is going to do which just makes you more anxious and maybe it’s better to stay here until it’s time for the library to close. You’re just going to organize the books for the meanwhile to set off your panic state.

“Hey”

Why?

You whispered to yourself with your eyes closed as you recognized the voice to be Jimin’s. Sucking in a deep breath, you reminded yourself to just be normal and stop acting so scared all the time when there’s nothing to even worry about - a lie but you’ll just pretend it’s not until your brain believes it to be true.

“Jimin”, you smiled as best as you could muster, “What are you doing here?”

“Can you help me study History? I mean, we have a quiz for it tomorrow and finals are approaching but it’s fine-”

“Okay” you cut him off from rambling as you walked past him and sat down where you were sitting just a while ago, thinking you should start right away so it could also end right away.

Jimin followed you as he then sat down next to you, handing you the reviewer you sent to him weeks ago. You scan through it to find that he highlighted the important details and color coded it just like what you suggested to him before and you don't know why that made you feel a bit giddy inside.

In your peripheral vision, you can see that Jimin has his body facing towards you as if having him near you isn’t nerve wracking at all. You tried your best to compose yourself, focusing solely on the reviewer as you then read out the first sentence to quiz him.

“It was the last dynasty of Korea and the longest ruling Confucian dynasty.”

“Joseon Dynasty.”

“He was the fourth king of the Joseon Dynasty and the one who created Hangul”

“King Sejong.”

“What was the capital of Korea before the Joseon Dynasty started?”

The question isn’t actually hard at all considering you’ve been studying this topic since elementary school but it looks like Jimin’s mulling it over when you glanced at him once you noticed he’s been taking a while to answer.

“Sorry” Jimin muttered.

Clearing your throat, you then read the question more loudly just in case he didn’t heard it properly, “What was the capital of-”

“YN, I’m sorry”, Jimin said a bit more clearly, “I know that you don’t want me to be here since you’re probably mad at me but i just wanted to say that i’m sorry if the kiss made you uncomfortable and it wasn’t my intention to make you feel that way but i guess that’s too late for now and i understand if you truly hate me.”

“I don’t hate you”

“You don’t?”

“I’m sorry too for avoiding you but I was not doing it because I hate you” you momentarily looked at Jimin before you went back to look at the reviewer to fold it’s edges.

Are you really going to say the real reason?

You believe that Jimin’s just being nice as he is and you’re mistaking it for something else. Also, the kiss surely is nothing but only a cover up anyway so you figured that it’s best to let him know the real reason so that you could end your suffering quickly and move on from how you don’t stand a chance from him to begin with.

“I just feel awkward and I think that’s because” you lower down your head a bit so that you could perfectly hide your face behind your hair, “ I um...I like you.”

You whispered the last part, hoping he missed what you said though you know he had perfectly heard it - you’re in the most quiet place after all.

Jimin is probably used to hearing countless confessions made for him so this must be not a big of a deal for him but it sure is to you. You waited for a moment for him to say anything back and when you’re sure that he’s not going to open his mouth at all, you stood up as you quickly gathered your things.

“I guess, i have to go”

“Wait” Jimin grabbed your wrist, “Don’t run from me again.”

Jimin gently tugged you down, sitting you back in your place beside him. You were quiet as you idly stare straight ahead, not really knowing what you’re supposed to do now when you just want to get out of here, regretting the fact that you just confessed but Jimin’s hand is keeping you in place so it’s not like there’s no other way.

Suddenly, you got surprised as soon as you felt Jimin’s fingertips ghosting over your palm ever so slowly until he eventually slipped them in between the spaces of your fingers, completely intertwining your hands.

Could this mean that Jimin likes you too?

You looked up at Jimin to see him already staring at you with a sweet smile as he grazed his thumb up and down against your own. Flustered, you turned your head to the other side, biting down on your lip to contain your smile from getting bigger as you try to keep in mind to get a better hold on yourself.

As if the butterflies on your stomach couldn’t get any more wilder, Jimin then squeezed your hand three times and you guess that’s enough for your feelings to be reassured.

A/N: Hi! It’s been a while since i last posted and finally, i was able to finish this after procrastinating it multiple times and here you go hehe, hope you all like this! Anyway, how is the Dynamite comeback treating you all? Taehyung definitely had me dead with his ethereal beauty :(

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strawberry1212 · 3 years

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Asian drama female lead passivity

I feel like a lot of aspects of female lead (FL) passivity is discussed (the fish kiss being the most famous example), but I wanted to systematically analyze each trope under the theory of female passivity and its feminist implications.

This topic has been stuck in my mind ever since I read a blog years ago (literally like six years ago so I’m sorry I have no idea where it is, I can’t link it) talking about how intimacy in Asian dramas is always portrayed as something women relent to giving up half-heartedly, and men one sidedly pursue. Women are chaste, men are lustful, and women are yielding to men, that is the essential message.

This dynamic plays out in Western media as well--the movie Don Jon is a super interesting analysis comparing how women are indoctrinated by romcoms, to how men are indoctrinated by porn. So women attach grand romantic gestures and romantic commitment to their self worth, because that’s what the girl gets in her happy ending, while men attach it to sexual prowess/having women do kinky sexual favors.

This dynamic is super harmful because it works to suppress female sexuality, as well as male emotionality. People are always surprised when a woman would rather just want sex (or a career) over a romantic commitment. And men are applauded for having the bare minimum of emotional awareness because it’s so rare.

I think a form of Asian drama female lead (FL) passivity that is most talked about is the infamous “fish kiss.” See exhibit A:

The guy initiates the kiss on the usually unsuspecting girl, as if the girl ever going in for the kiss herself would be too sexually aggressive. And as if even enjoying the kiss would be too much, they have her just stand there eyes wide open. It’s awkward, and even slightly funny to watch, but our critique often ends here. But I think the fish kiss is a symptom of a much deeper problem.

You will notice that female lead passivity is present in all physical interactions between the romantic interests.

The pull in hug:

Which sometimes the FL looks uncomfortable to frightened in:

I even found a meme, so I know I’m not the only who thinks this is weird:

(meme/photo credit: https://goliath1357.tumblr.com/post/27115253892/kdramareasons-awkward-one-sided-hugs-k-drama)

What I don’t like about this trope is first of all, it makes female consent seem less romantic. It romanticizes this idea of male pursuit/female passivity, the man will protect her, the man will pursue her (basically like an object), the man will do all the work in making the relationship progress, etc., and it romanticizes this dynamic to women--this is easy to romanticize for us, because to the most of us that aren’t being constantly pursued by two hot men, this pursuit dynamic seems like a dream boat. Often the kdrama female lead (due to the Initial Misunderstanding trope) will even dislike and push away the male lead--and yet he still pursues her, how romantic! -_- Except in real life, the guy aggressively pursuing you and ignoring you disinterest is not romantic.

And the issue is on both sides, because it teaches women to just stand there, not express consent, and not express sexual/intimacy enthusiasm when we’re feeling it (that would be ~unladylike~). And on the other side, it teaches men to do all the pursuing and to assume that a girl standing frozen, wide eyed, and often looking scared as you kiss her, is consent. Sometimes the guy even interprets a clear “no” as consent. (Honestly I’m not even sure if these Asian drama writers are thinking along the lines of “xyz is consent,”...like I’m not sure how often they even think of the concept of consent tbh.)

But anyways, passivity. is not. consent!!!! That’s why we have the slogan “Yes mean yes,” meaning both parties must have enthusiastic, clear consent, for respectful intimacy. Asian dramas discourage women from expressing an enthusiastic “yes,” and it teaches men not to expect this “yes,” so they can steamroll past passivity and even rejection.

And I know some people will be boohooing me on this. “But sudden kisses and hugs are so romantic!” people will say. But what is “romantic,” like many things, is a social construct. We think things are romantic because they’ve always been presented to us as romantic, with swelling music in the background and the implicit understanding that anything is ok because they are Soulmates(TM) that end up happy together. We construct our idea of what is romantic largely out of media.

But that is not real life, and carrying those messages over to real life (as we inevitably all do), is dangerous. I just moved to Japan so this especially hits close to home for me: I dress conservatively by American standards, but I couldn’t bring a quarter of my clothes when I moved because I worried men on trains would interpret them as revealing, and therefore I would be “asking for it.” I, and I’m sure many women will feel me on this, think about and fear sexual assault very often. And when we don’t enshrine active consent, we perpetuate rapist culture.

Since “romantic” is anything our society constructs it to be, let’s romanticize enthusiastic consent! (like this NCT song!!) I think sudden kisses can be cute when you’ve established boundaries that it’s is ok, but it scares me that men and women are watching this and thinking suddenly kissing a person you haven’t discussed boundaries/intimacy with at all is cute. It’s all fun and games when it’s the hot male lead kissing the girl you know he’s going to end up with, but it’s not cute when it’s real life men thinking they’re entitled to women’s bodies.

Other examples of female passivity:

I stopped watching Moonlight Drawn over the Clouds at precisely this scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6I0WXeD-dc&ab_channel=KBSWORLDTV

because it was so painful to watch her sitting there like a fish as the guys got these cool fight scenes. Like girllll literally do anything, throw a rock, something! First dramas routinely disable the female characters by making the male characters the able fighters, but even if you’re not an able fighter you can do more than just sit there like a lame duck -_- Especially the parts of these scenes where someone is standing over the girl with the sword and the writers don’t give the girl the presence of mind to simply run away, but they give the guy the presence of mind to somersault into the room, jump over ten monkey bars, slash the antagonist, and catch the girl bridal style on his way down. I guess the damsel in distress trope is as old as the book, but just the complete passivity so many female characters show in fight scenes as they need to be saved is really annoying and disempowering.

I think the worst part is their faces, they’re all like omg! this is so sad!

well girl you could have done literally ANYTHING other than sit there as he took ten bullets for you lmao. Women don’t exist to stand by and be saved!!! This is a historical drama but the modern drama version is when the guy is getting beat up by bullies or whatever and the girl just stands by and does nothing but look upset.

Another good trope that is under this passivity theme is the double wrist grab, where we not only have ONE male lead (ML) manhandling the FL, but TWO MLs. Ahh yes the only thing better than forcibly ignoring consent and the FL’s wishes is TWO men doing it.

I heard this recently even happened in True Beauty...which...that drama...truly I thought Kdramas were progressing until I saw how much people were hyping up that mess of misogyny (not to mention how boringly predictable it was).

I can’t quite express this next trope in a screenshot, but something I also see a lot of is the ML professing his love to the FL and she sort of just stands there like O_O. Like she’s just sort of this object that sits there being admired? It’s just such an unnatural way to react to someone professing their love for you, and these scenes drag on for many minutes of just the ML’s dialogue so the female actress, having no lines, has no choice but to sit there O_O. Like give her lines! Give her reactions! Give her anything other than being wide eyed!!!!

And these physical interactions represent deeper emotional passivity in the female lead.

I’ve noticed it’s almost always the trend of the male lead falls later, but falls harder, and ultimately he puts more energy into making the relationship progress. Again, this buys into female fantasy, but it is an unhealthy fantasy that is grounded, I think, in our insecurities, and our fear of putting ourselves out there (so we would rather have someone pursue us than put ourselves out there and meet someone halfway).

This emotional passivity is why, weirdly enough, sometimes I will really like the drama because the girl is very stubbornly, openly, and aggressively pursuing the guy. A case of this is Itazura na Kiss, or Mischievous Kiss (there’s a Jdrama, Kdrama, and anime--I only watched the anime). Now the guy is downright meannnnn in Mischievous Kiss, this was not a healthy relationship at all, but there was something refreshing about the girl. Sure her aggression was in pursuing a man, but at least it was aggression, and I’d always only seen any hint of female sexuality/actively pursuing as something very stigmatized.

I think a sister trope to the passivity trope is the innocence trope. The guy will literally take the initiative to profess his undying love to the FL and she’ll be like “what?? omg stop teasing you’re joking ahahha.” Why do FLs need to be so oblivious/innocent? I think it caters to the way media is seen through a male gaze but that’s a trope to deconstruct another time.

#feminism #asiandrama #jdrama #kdrama #cdrama #kdrama tropes #kdrama analysis #kdrama feminism

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that-sw-writer · 3 years

Note

If you’re taking requests, hear me out...

Kylo x reader

Disney princess Mulan style. Reader is in the knights of Ren but no one knows she’s a girl! Kylo is the first to find out maybe by walking in on her changing or something idk whatever you think would be the best. I thought of this after reading intoxicated which both parts were awesome by the way!!

I’m so sorry that you’ve waited about a century for me to finish this... but I tried to make up for that by including a zesty meme to go with this lmao

Also I’m glad you enjoyed intoxicated, it’s literally one of my favourite things I’ve ever written!! I hope this one shot is what you had in mind!

MASTERLIST

Paring: Female Knight of Ren!Reader/Kylo Ren (Mulan inspired)

Word count: 4582

Warnings: mentions sex and kylo ren is briefly a bit of a dick

(context for the dank meme will be provided when you read)

I’ll Make a Man Out of You

You were struggling today, more than most months. Usually you managed to get through stomach cramps with a few painkillers, but today you were practically keeling over, and it hadn't escaped the notice of the other Knights of Ren.

"Nuren? You okay?" Kuruk had asked you in the midst of sparring, noticing that your movements were sloppy as you tried to ignore the crippling pain in your stomach.

"Yeah, I'm just feeling a bit under the weather." You tried to play it off, your voice coming off modulated due to your helmet. You were the only knight who always wore their helmet, the others took theirs off to socialise but you had to keep your secret safe, so you had told them from day one that you had taken an oath to never allow any sentient being to see your face, something you knew was common amongst the Mandalorian clans.

It was a solitary life, lying every day to the people whom you cared about more than anyone else, but you were in too deep to tell them to truth now. There had never been a woman amongst the Knights of Ren, and that wasn't likely to change - at least, not as far as anyone knew. You would just continue to miss out on drinking and eating with your brothers, being forced to sit in the corner and try your best to join in with their merriment.

Even your leader, Kylo Ren, had no idea of the truth. For years now you had concealed your gender from them, but you had never intended for it to go this far. You had joined the knights when they had come to your homestead seeking your brother, who was Force sensitive. He hid when they had shown up and you sent the knights on a cold trail to look for him, but after they left you had considered things. You were desperate for an escape and for adventure, plus you were also Force sensitive, so you had decided to drop everything and chase after them in place of your brother. You had concealed your identity by donning simple armour, which was soon replaced once they had taken you on board.

You took on the name Nuren, which meant 'woman' in your planet's dialect - hidden in plain sight, and you had never looked back. Sure, nothing about it was easy, but you wouldn't dare quit, you quickly found yourself enjoying the training, missions and most importantly: the brotherhood.

"Perhaps we should call it a day." Kylo raised his hand to stop the sparring, his gaze unsurprisingly fixated on you. "Nuren, go to the med-bay if you need to." Despite being a terrifying Supreme Leader to most, Kylo Ren cared about his knights, although little did he know that you had just gotten your period - there was nothing seriously wrong with you.

Over the years you had learnt a lot about concealing your emotions, particularly those where Master Ren was concerned. There were thousands of people in the galaxy whom you could have fallen for, but you had to choose to fall for Kylo Ren - the one man you could never have, for more reason than one. Most obviously: he thought you were a man who could under no circumstances remove his helmet in front of other people. But aside from that, even if he did know the truth, how could it ever work? You were one of his knights. Although admittedly, you had spent a lot of time alone at night dreaming that it could work.

"That's okay Master Ren, I think I just need to rest." You stood tall as you spoke to him, despite the sharp pain that was still twisting your stomach.

"Very well." He nodded, dismissing you all, but you could see the look of concern still on his face. Curse these cramps for ruining training for you.

You retired alongside your brothers after that, still trying to ignore just how much pain you were in, but they were unsurprisingly teasing you about it.

"One little stomach ache takes Nuren down? This is the same guy I once saw singlehandedly take on a Nightsister right?" Cardo gave you a bolshy nudge and the others all laughed.

"He's right, I knew the food they served up on this base was crap, by I didn't realise it was that crap." Trudgen then jested, and you laughed along with them, knowing that this was just how they behaved.

"You think I eat that shit?" You snorted as you all made your way back to your shared common area.

There was a large communal area where the knights all socialised together and attached were seven bedrooms, each sealed behind private blast doors.

"Since we're done for the day, who fancies a drink?" Ap'lek asked the moment you all stepped foot inside, moving over to produce multiple bottles of beer from the fridge.

The others all mumbled in agreement, moving to take off their helmets and make themselves comfortable. Despite knowing that you would decline, the knights never failed to ask you to join them and they had no idea how much that simple gesture meant to you, let alone how much you wanted to accept it.

"How about it Nuren? Nothing like alcohol to cure sickness." Ushar grinned, but you reluctantly shook your head.

"I think I might just turn in and take a nap." You said, your brothers all bidding you farewell before you disappeared behind the doors that lead to your quarters.

As soon as you were alone, you shed yourself of the heavy helmet, as well as the outer layers of your armour. Carrying around that much weight on your body whilst on your period should have been a crime.

Rather than collapsing onto the bed, you moved to dig through your drawers where you had a stash of painkillers hidden for these exact moments - hopefully they would at least give you a few pain-free hours so you could spend some time with the other knights before they got too drunk.

Swallowing down the pill, you knew it would take some time to kick in so you opted to soak in a warm bath until them, that usually helped. From your refresher you could vaguely hear the others all laughing and having fun together. It pained you more and more every day have to be such an outsider, but you feared that if you revealed the truth to them they would never accept you.

You tried not to let your thoughts dwell on negative things whilst you bathed, but it was hard not to. You had everything you ever wanted - but you didn't have it, as far as anyone else was aware your brother was the one living this dream. Could you really go on like this forever? The answer was: yes. You had no choice, you would die with your secret one day.

You eventually left the refresher, a towel wrapped securely around your body. Thankfully, this time your painkillers were actually working, so with any luck you'd be able to join your brothers and simply watch them drink and wish you could join in - just as you always did.

When you pulled on your undergarments you wrapped tight bandaging around your chest to flatten it. It was beyond painful to wear every day, but definitely easier than explaining why you had breasts...

You tugged on your slightly baggy trousers, and your even baggier undershirt. You found that clothes with less shape worked better. However, before you could sweep your hair back into a clean bun and put your helmet on, you heard the blast doors to your room open.

The knights knew to never walk into each other's private quarters unannounced, and there was surely only one other person who could possibly be in the knights' common area. But why would he be in here?

"I wanted to check that you're okay-" Kylo began, clearly not focusing as he entered. But when his voice trailed off you knew that he had laid eyes on you.

With your heart in your mouth, you slowly turned around to confirm your worst nightmare. Kylo Ren stood staring at you, his mouth slightly agape. Clearly he hadn't known what to expect, but this was far beyond the parameters of his imagination.

"I can explain-" you quietly said, your voice coming out as nothing but a mere whisper. Your heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to burst out of your chest.

Clearly just as unsure how to process what he had seen as you were, he simply turned on his heel and fled the room, quickly marching out of the knights' common area altogether.

There was no time for you to panic, you forced yourself to take a deep breath, pulled your helmet on and took off after him, still only wearing your under-layers. As you dashed out, your brothers paid you little mind, they were too caught up in their conversation to notice the commotion.

"Master Ren, wait." You called to him as he was striding ahead of you.

In one sharp motion he turned to you, pushing you against the wall, his gloved hand clasped around your neck where he could see wisps of hair falling out from beneath your helmet.

"I want you to leave this base, and pray that I never see you again." He was cutting off your airwaves, but nevertheless you still attempted to choke out.

"M-Master Ren, please. I-I had to lie." You tried to explain, your voice coming out as a strained croak.

"And now you have to leave." He hissed, the betrayal in his tone was clear. Without another word he released you and went storming off down the corridor again.

You had no idea what to do, or who to turn to. Perhaps it was just best to heed Kylo's warning and leave. You feared that if Kylo's reaction had been nothing short of death threats, you would be met with a very similar reaction from your fellow knights, but part of you also thought that they deserved to know the truth before you abandoned them.

Besides, now you had nothing left to lose.

When you arrived back in the common area, the knights were all lost in their merriment. Clearly a few drinks down, you could tell they were slightly tipsy, although perhaps that would make this easier.

"I need to tell you something." You planted yourself in the middle of the room, and were immediately met by jeering, something you would've normally embraced and enjoyed, but now your reaction was stone cold.

"Hopefully you're telling us that you're ready to have some fun!" Cardo bellowed, "c'mon Nuren, loosen up a bit."

"No." You grumbled, "I wish I could." Before you open yourself up to more teasing, you reached up and unlatched your helmet, silently revealing the truth to the knights. "You came to my planet looking for my brother, but you got me instead." You quietly explained, dreading the reactions that were to come.

It was so silent that you could hear a pin drop, and part of you feared that they would kill you on the spot for lying to them. Slowly, your brothers rose to their feet, seemingly sobering up in that moment.

"So for all these years, you've been pretending to be your brother?" Ushar asked, his voice level, so much so that you couldn't read his emotions.

"Yes." You hung your head in guilt.

The ominous silence fell once more, and you couldn't bear it any longer. However, as you opened your mouth to speak, a stifled laugh broke through the crippling silence.

You whipped around and saw Kuruk with a hand covering his mouth. "Sorry it's just-" before he could finish there were more uncontrollable laughs escaping his lips. Clearly this laughter was contagious, because before you knew it it was spreading throughout the room.

"I-I can't believe you said you had taken an oath t-to not take the helmet off!" Ap'lek struggled to get his words out through the laughter, "a kriffing oath!" He exclaimed, leaning on Vicrul who was beside him, as they tried to regain their composure.

"This... is really not the reaction I was expecting." Entirely unsure of what to do, you just stood and stared at them all as they continued to crease in fits of laughter. But after a few moments you found yourself unable to avoid the contagious laughter, but you of all people really had no clue what you found so funny.

You were all in stitches for another few minutes before it died down, and despite the circumstances the laughter made you feel as though some of the weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Knowing that your fellow knights weren't angry at you was a much needed relief.

"So why not tell us the truth?" Vicrul eventually asked once they could form coherent sentences.

"The Knights of Ren was no place for a woman." You sighed, throwing yourself down on the couch with your head in your hands, "I wish I had told you earlier, but I always thought you'd be angry - I really didn't expect the laughing fit."

"C'mon Nuren, you should have known us better than that. No matter what, we're brothers... well, now you're our first sister." Ushar chuckled, giving you a solid pat on the back.

As the others echoed his sentiment, you appreciated more than anything that they weren't treating you any differently just because of your gender. There was still that sense of familiarity, and the brotherhood... it was just a shame you couldn't stay.

"So why tell us now?" Ap'lek eventually asked.

"Master Ren-" your tone immediately became more downcast as you remembered the gravity of the situation, "he found out the truth, and he told me to leave. I thought before I go I at least owed you all the truth."

Glances were exchanged, before Cardo spoke up, "no, we won't let you leave."

Your heart nearly burst out of your chest at the gesture, but you couldn't allow yourself to fall into that safety blanket. "Master Ren will have my head if I stay. I betrayed him, and you all know how he responds to betrayal."

"But you forget Nuren, you're a Knight of Ren, and we never leave a brother behind." Trudgen said. "...Or a sister." He then hastened to add.

><><><><><><><><><><><

It had only been a week since everyone had found out the truth. Whilst your fellow knights actually gotten on better with you now that you could drink and socialise with them, the same could not be said for Kylo Ren.

Firstly, he was less than happy about being undermined when it came to you leaving the base. Now you were a constant reminder of his own empty threat. But more importantly, what you didn't realise was that he wanted you gone more than ever because he was developing an inexplicable attraction to you. The worst part was, it wasn't just physical. Whilst he would sit moping in the corner he could see the way you were around the other knights - they clearly adored you, and the fact that a female presence was actually having a positive effect on the group made it even harder for Ren to despise you. He saw the way you could light up a room, and he couldn't help but want you. He was angry for allowing himself to feel such a way, and that unfortunately manifested itself as anger towards you.

The other knights, meanwhile, couldn't possibly look at you in such a way. Perhaps had they met you for the first time as strangers, they would have relentlessly flirted with you as they did so many other women. But you had all spent too much time together in too many awkward situations to ever see each other as more than adopted-siblings.

You were so relieved to finally be able to relax around the knights, but there was always that tension whenever you were around Master Ren. You had been desperately trying to prove yourself to him to show him that you were the same knight you had always been, regardless of your gender - although deep down you knew that it had nothing to do with the fact you were a woman, it was the fact that you had lied to him...

Although for Kylo it was none of these. He knew he had overreacted when he'd first found out the truth, and now he was relieved that the other knights had vouched for you and made him change his mind and let you stay.

You were all sat in the common area, your legs casually thrown over Trudgen's lap for comfort. You each had a drink in hand, as was standard practise for you all on evenings when you had nothing else to do.

"I seriously don't think I can go much longer putting up with him constantly glaring at me." You scoffed, discussing Kylo's apparent hatred of you.

"Sure he used to do that, but now I don't think he's glaring... I don't know, I'm just not getting the same angry energy off him that I was last week." Ap'lek pondered, shrugging his shoulders.

"What do you mean?" Your brow furrowed, but Kuruk was quick to catch on.

"No, Ap'lek's right. He's not glaring, he's staring." He playfully smacked his forehead, "I can't believe we didn't spot it sooner."

"Holy shit, you're right." Vicrul was next to chime in.

You all had a low-level bond through the Force, so you knew pretty much what they were thinking, but that didn't mean you agreed with them.

"Oh come on, Master Ren won't even talk to me anymore and you think that means he likes me? He literally had his hand around my throat a week ago." You snorted, rolling your eyes.

"Yeah, well maybe you enjoyed that." Trudgen teased you from the other side of the sofa, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows, but you swiftly threw a cushion at his face to shut him up.

"It makes so much sense the more I think about it." Ap'lek laughed, shaking his head, "he won't talk to you because he doesn't know how to process emotions. Come on Nuren, when have you ever seen him flirt, or even be nice to a woman?"

Before you could reply, Vicrul summarised it, "it's because he doesn't know how!" At that they all hollered and nudged each other in agreement.

"You're all out of your minds," you laughed, "he wants me dead, not-" before you could finish your sentence with a crude joke, the blast doors flew open to reveal the man himself, and you immediately all fell silent.

It wasn't necessarily unusual for him to come and join you all in your living area, but he hadn't done so since he found out the truth about you. Not to mention, he had picked an awful moment to enter.

"What? You all look like someone's died." He huffed, helping himself to a drink before moving to sit down.

You meanwhile did the opposite and removed your legs from Trudgen's lap and stood up, retiring to your quarters without another word. You didn't particularly want to put up with his glaring, or 'staring' as the knights had now deemed it.

There was nothing to do in your quarters, and you immediately realised that you had just stormed off and now were stuck, so you made a point of dressing in some simple training clothes and heading back out to walk through the common area with your helmet in hand. You pulled it over your head before leaving the rest of the knights alone with Kylo and went off to your training area to run some drills alone.

In your absence, and after their apparent revelation, the other knights decided that that it was time to address the elephant in the room with Kylo.

"Master Ren, you know Nuren thinks that you hate her, right?" Ushar said, to which Kylo just tried to play it off with a nonchalant shrug.

"I don't hate her." He said, his tone not wavering. He certainly didn't want any of them finding out the truth behind his cold behaviour.

"Trust me, we know that." He replied, in a very pointed tone which made it clear that they had worked out the truth about Kylo's feelings, "but she doesn't know that." He then added.

He clearly wanted to protest, but it was obvious that the knights could see right through him and his nonchalance.

They simply all stared at him, expectantly, until eventually Kylo exhaled a heavy sigh, taking a long drink before speaking again. "Fine, I get the point." He rose to his feet, "I'll go and talk to her." He reluctantly agreed to do what he had been dreading. He had no idea how to process any emotion that wasn't anger.

As soon as he left, the knights began discussing every possible outcome. Little did you know that they had practically planned your wedding, since they had decided that not only would you be good for Kylo, he would be good for you.

Blissfully unaware of everything that had just happened, you were alone in the training room swinging a blunt training weapon against a dummy, who was taking the brunt of your frustration. You had left your helmet by the door.

When the blast doors opened to reveal a sheepish looking Kylo Ren, you were less than happy - and it was written all over your face. Nevertheless, you stood to attention.

"Master Ren." You nodded, "I thought you were with the others." You desperately wanted to replicate his bad attitude and make a cutting remark, but you knew that simply wouldn't help your case. No matter what, you had to show respect to your leader.

"I came to talk to you." He said, his tone coming out much darker than intended.

"With all due respect Sir, if you want me to leave that badly, it's the other knights you need to talk to - they're the reason why I'm still here." You relaxed your stance and went back to swinging at the dummy as you spoke.

"That's not it." He said, walking around to stand behind the dummy so he was in your eye-line, "I'm glad you're still here." He eventually admitted, practically through gritted teeth. Every muscle in his body had stiffened.

You stepped back from your training, brow furrowed, "you are?" You hated the way your heart rate increased at his words. Through it all, you still couldn't deny your own attraction to Kylo Ren, perhaps that was why his cold attitude had been so hurtful to you.

"Yes." He plainly said, having no inclination of what else he could possibly say.

"Then why are you acting so off with me?" You hesitantly asked, at which point he looked down at his feet. This had been the question he was hoping you wouldn't ask, because he was afraid to answer it.

"I-" he began, before sealing his lips again. Whatever words he wanted to say simply wouldn't form in his mouth. He was truly tongue-tied, but thankfully his body decided that it was ready to move again - actions did tend to speak louder than words.

Boldly, he moved towards you and captured your lips in a heated kiss, pouring all the words he couldn't say into this gesture.

You were stunned to say the least, your training weapon falling to the floor. But it wasn't long before your lips responded and returned the kiss. Kylo's arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you flush against him, your hands resting on his chest.

However, it didn't take long for your brain to catch up and you briefly pulled away from his lips for long enough to speak. "So you... like me, like me, and you tried to show me that by being miserable around me?" You asked him, just needing to clarify his odd behaviour.

Suddenly feeling much looser now that he had made a move, he responded with a smirk, "did it work?" He teased.

"Not so much, I think you perhaps need to try being less of an asshole in future Master Ren." You responded with a snarky remark, knowing that you could definitely get away with teasing him now.

"I think from now on, just Kylo is fine." He exhaled a short laugh and leaned back in to kiss you.

It wasn't long before you either had to break away, or have sex right there in the training room and you both silently agreed that the latter wasn't really a practical option.

"Your quarters?" You prompted, still tangled in his arms. Really this whole scenario still felt surreal to you. You had crushed on Kylo Ren for longer than you cared to admit, then when he had found out the truth about your gender he had reacted less than favourably... and now suddenly here you were. Only he could react to developing feels for you by acting as though he hated you.

His face dropped and he grimaced slightly, "we-uh, we can't." He sheepishly explained.

"Why not?" Your brow furrowed, immediately thinking that taking him back to your quarters would be quite an embarrassing affair with all of the other knights being in the common area.

"There are technicians in there repairing Lightsaber damage." He said it casually, but you could read between the lines well enough to know that 'Lightsaber damage' meant that he'd had a tantrum and trashed his own quarters.

"Are you brave enough to come to my quarters?" You smirked up at him with an eyebrow raised.

"I think you're overestimating how much they'll care." He said, and you definitely couldn't fault his optimism, but you knew that the knights most certainly would care.

With the steamy moment beginning to waste away you hastily walked side by side back to the Knights of Ren's common area. You had your helmet on again as you walked, but as soon as you entered you removed it, and it still felt surreal that you now had that freedom.

"Nuren, is that you?" Kuruk's voice was the first to call out, none of them turning around from where they sat, still with drinks in hand.

"Yep, it's me." You quickly said, ushering Kylo into your quarters in the hope that none of them would notice.

"Did you and Master Ren kiss and make up?" Cardo asked, clearly teasing you, but chose to turn around at simply the perfect moment to catch you in the act.

Halfway through the blast doors to your private quarters you and Kylo froze, and a sheepish grin rose up onto your lips.

"Oh so you literally kissed and made up." Ushar then said, the smirks appearing on all of their lips foreshadowing some relentless teasing.

"Well... kinda." You tried to play it off, but before you could make any poor excuses, Kylo simply pulled you through the doors and had his lips on yours as they shut behind you.

As you guided him back towards the bed, you could hear the knights outside loudly wolf-whistling and jeering.

You had only wanted to be able to take your helmet off comfortably around the knights - now you not only had that, you had Kylo Ren too. In exchange for that you could definitely put up with the teasing from your brothers.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren #kylo x reader #kylo x you #kylo x y/n

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