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#And no matter how much they cry it out and find any sliver of comfort in each other - they just have to keep on living this way
kaicubus · 11 months
Note
I saw your requests were open, and if they still are, could I request a fluff alphabet with the Hantengu clones? I really love your work btw, keep it up!
Fluff Alphabet | Hantengu clones
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warnings ✩° : fluff, dating a somewhat nice demon, mentions of killing other people, me cursing, besides that, cute things!
pairing ✩° : hantengu clones x fem!reader some gn!reader
authors note ✩° : YEAH BABYYYYY thank you for your request succubabe!! this was actually lowkey hard to write bc theyre supposed to be meanies but i thought id do it anyways,,
A = Affection (how they show their love for you)
Sekido is silent in the way he loves, so he's all about acts of service! He'll do things for you without you asking him too, mostly because he likes order and hates anything that goes out of line. So if he can help it, he's doing it for you.
Karaku is big on words of affirmation. He loves telling you how much you mean to him, how beautiful you are etc. Your insecurity is his biggest rival, so he's always telling you sweet things to fight it.
Aizetsu really won't admit it, but he loves physical touch. Whether it's holding your hand when you go places or touching your foot with his under the table, if he can touch you, he's happy. With other people he HATES it, but with you, it's ok.
Urogi adores quality time. It doesn't even matter what you two are doing, if he's with you, he wouldn't be anywhere else in the world. He does, however, prefer flights with either you on his back or in his arms.
B = Beauty (what they like most about you)
It's hard to say what Sekido loves most about you because he's never going to openly admit it, but he actually really likes your collarbone. It’s very specific but if you’re wearing a shirt or dress that lays just below your collarbone, he’s going to be looking at it for the entire time it’s exposed.
With Karaku, it'd be difficult to find just one thing he loves about you. To choose one though, he'd pick any beauty mark you have on your face. Whether it’s a birth mark, scar, freckles, moles, anything, he thinks it makes you so unique and special and loves kissing it especially after he kisses your lips first.
Aizetsu really admires the back of your neck. He thinks that it’s so elegant when you brush your hair and move your hair to the side or when you tie your hair up and he can see a little bit of your neck. As soon as he sees it, he’s practically entranced by anything you do after.
Urogi cannot get enough of your stomach. He swears by the fact that the stomach is the softest part of any human, so when he has you within reach, he always has an arm around it or a claw. Your size doesn’t matter to him, if you have a bit of your stomach exposed or lift your shirt up enough for him to see the smallest sliver of ski, he smashes his head into you.
C = Comfort (what they find most comforting about you)
What Sekido likes most about you is how responsible you are. It really takes loads off his shoulders when he knows he can trust you with his entire self, and he doesn't have to drag you by a leash or something.
Karaku finds everything about you comforting: the way you look, the way you feel, the way you taste, what's inside of you, pretty much everything. But for the most part, he loves how you go to him when you're stressed. It makes him feel like he's worth something and doing something right.
Your ability to calm Aizetsu down is something he never takes for granted. When he's crying or really upset, you don't judge him, instead you always lay his head on your lap and pat him lightly, humming a song or talking softly to him. That kindness either prompts more tears or gets him to close his eyes and get some rest.
Urogi really likes how caring you are to tend to his needs. After a good flight, he's always very dirty and has leaves all over him, so you always take it upon yourself to brush his wings out and braid his hair. As soon as you touch either, his head falls forward and he passes out.
D = Domestic (how would they be in a domestic life with you) (i'm doing a non-demon au like in the actual manga for this one!)
Sekido's a wealthy businessman in charge working to support you and your family at home. At work he's very stressed and yells at everybody to get in line a lot, but at home he's your clueless husband struggling on the correct way to hold your newborn child. He's also the chef of the house and does most of the house work because, "you can't do it right," but really he wants to do it so you don't have to.
Karaku loves cooking with you. It's probably his favorite activity when he gets to make stews or curry simply because he loves seeing your face when you're able to try his cooking. He has a notepad for your favorite recipes and makes them for you when you don't have a good day to lift your spirits. Because of his culinary skills, your baby has grown quite picky and even turns their head when their mushed baby carrots don't have proper seasoning.
Aizetsu spends most of his time with you and your baby, and sometimes he puts in way more than he should. You have to remind him that your baby needs a nap and Aizetsu will hold onto them harder and refuse until you pry them away from him. After your baby's down for a nap, Aizetsu won't leave their side until they wake up. Often times you find the two fast asleep and you have to put a blanket over them so they don't catch a code.
Being already well off in terms on money, you and Urogi spend your domestic life traveling overseas, flying everywhere by plane or by cruise. Sight seeings are a musts, but sometimes you can't keep up with his high spirited self, seeing as he's always dragging you along. He also likes posing your baby in silly looking positions (usually with hats or sunglasses way too big for their face) and posting pictures to social media to your family and friends.
E = Early Mornings (bed head? tired? fully awake?)
ROUGH. When Sekido sleeps, he's tossing and turning left and right, so it's only reasonable why his hair is so fucked up in the morning. He gets mad trying to brush it out and breaks the handle before you even have a chance to go at it. But he likes when you brush his hair afterwards.
Karaku is like so angelicwhen he sleeps. Pretty boy privileges. He always has his arm around you since he sleeps with you on his chest, but for some reason you're not tangled up at all. He's also the most calm so he isn't an aggressive sleeper and he wakes up rather restfully and gently.
Aizetsu is the softest when it comes to waking up. He's so depressed in the mornings though because, "It's just another meaningless day to waste time doing nothing," and always offers to sleep in. You protest, but he always wins in the end and you two sleep for an extra 4 hours. After looking at the clock you're always so shocked that you slept in so late and throw a pillow in his face.
Before you can even wake up, Urogi is already wide awake and on top of you. He'd be like a cat sitting on your chest putting their whole weight on you. His eyes are always fully open just waiting for you to wake up. It's honestly kind of creepy.
F = Fights (how often do you guys fight?)
Sekido is the type of guy to fight with often...he gets so mad over the smallest things, doesn't listen, doesn't communicate, just gets really mad. On some occasions, he'll silently apologize and hit his head onto your shoulder as his way of saying 'I'm sorry.'
Rarely ever with Karaku, he's always looking for ways to please you, so if you try and start a fight with him, he shuts it down immediately.
Aizetsu would never fight with you, he'd only ever present himself as insecure if you're with other guys and sort of mask his worry with straight up self defeating thoughts. He'll suggest that you're cheating on him and it takes a while for you to deny it and him to accept it.
Urogi has no thoughts. Fighting isn't a huge deal because within seconds, he'll forget and go back to being blissfully happy. Yay!
G = Gratitude (how grateful are they for you)
On a scale on 1-10 of how much Sekido's grateful for you, he's at about a 5. He has things other than you he needs to focus on, but he likes having you around.
Karaku is extremely grateful you came into his life when you did. He's taken such a liking to you, he can't imagine what it'd be like without you. It was weird having a human by a demon's side but he got used to it really quickly.
Although things don't change much on the surface level for Aizetsu when you two are together, deep down there are wounds that begin to heal once he sees how much you care for him.
You've taught Urogi different, interesting ways of living life, of course he's going to be grateful for you. He's even more happy with you by his side, so he's constantly showing you affection and telling you how much he loves you.
H = Hugs (are they a hugger?)
NO. Sekido is NOT a hugger. If you try and hug him he'll storm off, but he'll do with a peck on the cheek or even a kiss. He much rather prefers giving you a pat on the head or slap on your ass. All in good fun of course.
100% yes. Karaku loves hugs, but not the excited kind or the side hug kind. He likes the type of hug where he's able to scoop you in his arms and stay there for a minimum of at least 5 minutes, gently holding you and bringing you up to his body where his face can rest comfortably in your shoulder.
Aizetsu's not that fond of hugging, but he thinks it's acceptable if you're the one giving them out. He's not a hugger, but he likes the way you smell when you hug him.
Urogi is the type of person to run up to you and wrapping his arms and legs around your body at full speed, having full trust that you'll support his weight. He'd literally kill for hugs with you.
I = Inspiration (does being with you change them?)
Being with you changes Sekido in the best way it can. Obviously, he's a rage demon, constantly consumed with anger and hatred, but in some cases you are better for him than he leads you to believe. There are times where you're able to calm him down, and times where you can't.
I would say when he's with you, Karaku is inspired to be better. He wants to be more than enough for you, so he'll change to work on things that allow him to do that.
Sadly, not really. With Aizetsu, it's hard getting out of his constant depressive state, so he's always going to feel the feelings he has towards life and living in general. You make his days brighter, but he's still morbidly depressed.
Urogi learns to see things in new lights and take on different challenges when he's with you. He's much much more upbeat, if that's even possible, and laughs way more because he has someone he enjoys being around.
J = Jealousy (how jealous they get)
10/10. If Sekido sees you with someone else, he gets engulfed with rage. Not only does he actively harm the person, killing them in multiple instances, but he also ignores you afterwards. How dare you talk to someone else?
3/10. Karaku is eerily calm when it comes to these sorts of things, but it's not because he trusts the other person, but rather he trusts you won't be stupid enough to cheat on him.
9/10. If Aizetsu sees you with another person, he assumes the worst. He'll get so overwhelmed with self hate and doubt that he'll start crying from afar and fall over. It gets you to stop talking to the person to check on him, so I guess a win is a win. But he's very broken after that.
4/10. Urogi doesn't get jealous as much as he gets protective. He's not smart enough to pick up on social cues to tell if the person is flirting, but he knows that anyone is a threat to either your life or love, so he always has a protective wing against you.
K = Kisses (where and how many?)
Sekido doesn't do PDA, but his pent up rage is helped by kissing you in private. He likes giving you kisses on your neck and forehead as a symbol of his power over you, but also because they're sweet spots he likes the most.
Karaku's kisses are plentiful, seemingly never ending, and mostly on your lips. They're the softest part of your face, and the sweetest, so he's always kissing you.
Aizetsu kisses you mostly on your shoulder and back, especially when you don't have a shirt on, he snuggles up behind you and just pecks all over your skin. He's very light with it too.
Urogi full on attacks you with kisses. You don't even know when it's going to happen because even he doesn't know that. He just suddenly stops everything and rushes at you, usually holding your face in one place with his claws and just kissing you all over.
L = Little Things (what are some little things they do?)
Sekido pinches your cheek when he gets mad at you. He's quick to anger, but he tries to avoid yelling at you all he can. So when he gets mad at something you did, instead of yelling, he pulls on your cheek and plays with your face to both calm himself and not lose his sanity with you while you laugh at the tickling feeling.
Karaku loves finding new ways to get you to tell him, "I love you." Whether that's through teasing you or asking you repeatedly, he gets needy when you don't tell him you love him and starts poking around to get you to say it.
Aizetsu's picked up on the habit of humming songs when he's upset. It's a good indicator of when he's stressed out or sad, but he also just does it a lot and he's gotten really good at it. He'll stare off into space or something while holding you and start humming, combing through your hair or rubbing your cheek.
Urogi will bring you things. They're mostly little gifts he's found on his adventures that he picks up because they remind him of you. He'll find colorful stones, metal knickknacks left behind from other humans, and sometimes strings of beads.
M = Marriage proposal (how it would go about) (in a more modern au maybe)
Sekido would not be formal at all. What would happen would be him springing the question upon you one day, maybe at a restaurant or walking back home from one, and in the middle of his conversation will ask you, "Do you want to get married?" With a completely straight, serious face. Inside, he's fighting demons, looking at your confused and flustered face.
Karaku would definitely pull some elaborate event, maybe reliving the first time you two met or went on your first date and talking to everyone around to make sure they stay and bear witness to what's about to go down. He doesn't want to make it too flashy, but there's a calmly lit place, with flowers and all.
Poor Aizetsu would overthink everything about it. He'll have doubts he's not worthy enough to propose to you, or that the ring is too small, or how weird it's going to be having people stare at him. In the end, he pulls through and is very soft spoken, so he has to repeat himself a little louder the second time.
Urogi would practically say it with his face. You already have a feeling he's going to propose but it's even more obvious when he can't stop looking at you or smiling, giving cheesy hints at the possibility of him pulling out a ring from his pocket. When he's about to ask, you're pretty worked up from all the waiting and answer before he can get the whole question out.
N = No (something they don't like about you)
He's a strict guy, Sekido, but surprisingly, there's nothing he truly hates about you. He says you have a few annoying habits that really piss him off, but when he tells you, he makes it sound like he likes them? ex. "You have this stupid way of talking where you don't shut up, where you get really happy to see me and it seriously makes me mad. So stop looking so cute when you do that."
The only thing Karaku would not like about you is if you ever yell at him or criticize him for not taking things seriously. Since it's you, he'll cut you some slack, but he does take full offense.
Aizetsu really doesn't like how much you spend away from him. Every minute away from him plants a new doubtful thought in his head that says to him, "They don't want to be around you," and cries about it every time it happens.
Urogi is really big on smells. When you switch your perfume or come back to see him smelling like a different person or not like yourself just in general, he can't be around you. He'll cover his nose and bump into walls just to avoid you if you smell like any sort of fancy scent.
O = Open (how open are they to you?)
Sekido's a really hard case to crack. He won't tell you if anything's bothering him, emotionally wise, because he hates being vulnerable. He'll do anything to avoid those feelings and therefore avoid telling you about them. When he sees you upset about how he's not open with you, he silently gives you reassurance that he's fine and tells you not to worry.
Karaku doesn't particularly have anything to share most of the time. He deals with that stuff by himself by either ignoring it or accepting it and seeing things on the bright side, so if there were a chance for him to be open, he would've already figured it out on his own already.
Aizetsu is almost too open. Not in the sense that he trauma dumps on you all the time, but he just cries a lot over anything so he's forced to be open with you about how he's feeling. He thinks you're a great listener though and trusts you enough to tell you when he's suffering in silence. (be like aizetsu and don't suffer in silence!!)
It's almost scary how Urogi opens his mouth and says his unhinged thoughts. It doesn't matter if they're sad (they're usually not) or honest, he just says what comes to his mind. You usually have to do a double take to see if you heard him right.
P = Patience (how patient do you have to be with them?)
The highest level of patience. Unless you can deal with someone bossing you around, bullying you relentlessly, and yelling at every minor issue. Seriously, Sekido is the hardest person to deal with because of his anger issues, and literally being the rage demon, so don't expect him to go soft without a fight.
With Karaku, you really don't have to be patient at all. One small word from you and he's on his knees doing all the work or anything you ask. He's so whipped for you.
Aizetsu is kind of stubborn, but not in a stubborn way. He's not easily persuaded to do things since his outlook on life is very...in the negatives. With his depressive episodes as well, he requires a lot of check ups and reassuring.
Usually, whatever you say to Urogi goes. There's no fights or stubbornness, he's almost 'trainable.' On off days where he doesn't want to listen, he'll fly away and you have to wait for him to come back, but that's about it.
Q = Quitting (are they susceptible to calling it quits?)
No. Sekido may be a hot head with a short fuse, but he's not going to get rid of you that easily. Maybe here and there, he'll get so mad you two break up for a bit, but it's very on and off with those little baby break ups. If you slip away from him, he'll secretly put in a lot of effort to get you back.
Karaku is always calm and looking to make you happy or content with being with him. He definitely does not want you leaving him, so his possibilities are super low.
Fat chance. Once Aizetsu trusts you, he's LATCHED onto you. He'll say that he doesn't care what might happen in the future, but in reality he cries every time he thinks you might leave him.
Urogi didn't even know what the term 'dating' or 'relationship' meant before you, so he's not going to know what 'breaking up' or an 'ex' means. The thought of losing you does put him on edge though.
R = Romance (how they act around you)
Not at all. Sekido actually hates anything romantic, hearts, flowers, candles, all of it. He thinks it's cheesy and a waste of time. But...if you like it...then he guesses that maybe he'd give it a try...maybe.
Karaku knows his way around romance, he practically is romance, he loves love. Loving you is his favorite hobby, so of course he's going to be romantic and sweet!
Aizetsu treats you like a stranger sometimes, moving around you so you don't see him (you always do) because he's too scared to show affection. His idea of romance is sitting next to you and holding your hand.
Urogi really doesn't know what romance is. When he found you, he just decided in his mind that he liked you and that was that. He's really happy though!
S = Smitten (how in love they are with you?)
There's no telling what's on Sekido's mind. He'll never tell you how he truly truly feels because he gets mad at himself for feeling any ounce of compassion. He thinks being in love makes him weak, so he tries not to show how much he actually loves you.
It's written on Karaku's face pretty much. Every time Karaku looks at you, he either has a serene looking face or just heart eyes, no in between.
Aizetsu is so attached and in love with you, he thinks he deserves pity because of how much he feels. In his heart, it's very grey in terms of in black and white, one moment he'll be completely smitten and another he'll doubt himself and your relationship.
SUPER SMITTEN. Urogi can't get enough of you. He's so in love with you and you make his heart feel the warmest it's ever been.
T = Thrill (how is it being with them)
Understandably so, being with any of these demons is a thrill on it's own.
Sekido is thrilling because of how angry he gets and in the sense that he's full of power and dominance. He'll protect you any chance he gets but he's also partially shy when it comes to stuff like that.
Karaku isn't much to take in and being with him is actually pretty calm except when he's in battle, which is when you can see a side to him that you haven't seen before.
Aizetsu there's really no domestic thrill and he's actually fairly tame for the most part.
Urogi is the most thrilling. Not only does he have the most exciting personality but he also has a set of wings that can fly you to places you've never seen before. He can quite literally lift you up when you're sad and take you to new heights.
U = Understanding (are they understanding or stubborn?)
Sekido is stubborn as hell. Even if you explain it to him over and over again he's going to deny it or tell you he's right, which for the most part he's not. It just angers him more that you don't take his side and try to understand him.
Karaku understands things without you even telling him. He's so good at reading social cues so if you get mad he apologizes right away, and even if he's the one who's mad at you, he'll still make an effort.
Aizetsu is painfully clueless at times. If it's something important, he'll get it right away, but if it's not he's dumbfounded.
Zero thoughts. Urogi doesn't understand shit. That doesn't mean he means anything by it, he just literally doesn't understand.
V = Valentine (how they'd act on the holiday)
Sekido will say something like, "Oh, is that holiday still around? Don't care." and then present you with the biggest present ever. He's been around so he has collections of gems and crystals that he'll give and just leave next to you when you wake up that day too.
Karaku is doing everything in his power to honor this day. He'll break out the flowers, the food, the romantic candle light. Everything. He's honestly very sweet just in general, but on this day he's calmer than usual and just takes it slow.
Aizetsu waits till the very end of the day to hand you a card, nervous that you'll hate it or laugh at him, but watches you throughout the whole day wondering what you'll do.
Urogi forgets. Of course. But! If you remind him he laughs about it and quickly grabs whatever he can find and presents it to you, holding it out as if he didn't just grab a vase from the table saying, "Happy Valentine's Day!"
W = Water (do they like swimming?)
Sekido can't go out and have a fun beach day with you, so it's always at night. But he never goes in because it's such a hassle going in and then going out and getting dry, he just hates it. But he'll watch you.
Ooh Karaku is jumping IN if he sees water. He finds it so refreshing and relaxing to swim, especially after the fun he'll let you lay on his chest against his arm and enjoy the sounds of the river.
Aizetsu covers his body up, (adidas track suit wearing ahh), so he's a bit shy when he has to undress. However if you beg him enough and pull him in, he'll wade in the water with you. He doesn't hate it.
Urogi plus water is like watching a bird in a bird bath. He LOVES water. Not only is it a free bath, but it's also fun splashing around with you or pushing you under, which for some reason he finds hilarious.
X = Xtra (extra headcanon)
If you beg him hard enough, Sekido will do this thing called 'light show' where he uses his staff to manipulate lightning to shoot up in different directions. When he's not using it to kill people, it's really pretty, but it's also loud as hell so he makes you wear earplugs or sit far away from him when he does it.
Karaku loves nature. His weapon is a maple leaf, after all. So he loves going out on night walks with you, even if they’re super short or long, there’s something about the cold air and nice scenery is so calm to him. And you’re there too so it makes it like, 99% better.
Aizetsu has really nice handwriting. He writes poems and haikus (either about you or about death) all the time, but he never fails to amaze you with his ink work and the way his brush strokes are so effortlessly perfect.
Urogi will listen to all the stories you have to tell. Especially if they’re from your life around humans, his eyes practically morph into stars and he crosses his legs like a kid getting ready for story time waiting for you to tell your story. He cares so much about you and your life and hearing all those experiences just fills his head with happiness.
Y = Yearning (what they're like when you're not around)
Sekido wouldn't be caught dead missing you...unless? He's not keen on showing any ounce of vulnerability, but when he does miss you he keeps himself busy so he doesn't have to think about it. He'll yell at inanimate objects to express his anger of how much he wants you back and actually breaks a few things though.
Karaku doesn't leave your side. He's honestly just with you everywhere you go. If somehow you get him off you and leave him alone, he gets really bored and kind of upset. Once you get back though, he complains about missing you as he's peppering your face with kisses.
When Aizetsu misses you, he'll sulk around more than usual...if that's even possible. He'll drag his feet and attempt to brush himself off, but he doesn't go far and just ends up crying his eyes out.
Urogi without you around is similar to that of a puppy waiting of his owner to return. He's waiting, sitting down, impatiently if you go out to get food for yourself or leave to go on a walk in the sun, but he's honestly just thinking about what he's going to do with you once you get back.
Z = Zeal (will they go to the ends of the earth for you?)
Yes. Sekido would clear out villages for you. If anything bad were to happen to the one person he truly loves, he's going to give them all hell.
Karaku would kill for you. That goes without saying. For you, he'd do anything. If he can't be with you, what's the point of his life?
Aizetsu would be scared and try to back out, but in the end he'll fight for you. It doesn't matter if he wants to cry or disappear, he loves you too much to lose you.
Urogi would rip apart the world to find you if you get lost. He's not leaving without the person he loves.
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acapelladitty · 7 months
Text
Jonathan Crane/Reader - Captive (Kinktober #9)
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Summary: Held captive by Jonathan Crane, you find yourself victim to his cruelties as the reality of just how monstrous the Master of Fear can be truly sets in. (TW for noncon & various implied abuses and punishments)
Part 2: available here
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Awaking with a start, the sudden brightness of the overhead bulb which dragged you from a restless sleep burns your eyes and you snap them closed once more as you find yourself momentarily blinded.
The filthy mattress providing very little comfort from the even filthier floor below, your body instantly screams its discomfort as you unfurl from your curled position. No matter how you recalled falling asleep, you awoke in the same state; with your body cramped and aching as it wound itself into the tightest ball imaginable. To protect yourself as much as you could.
Still disoriented by sleep and exhaustion, bleary eyes dart around the bare room as reality sets in- the horrid truth of your captivity a fresh trauma every time you awaken in the prison-like space.
A screech of metal and your body flinches away from the mattress, scrambling towards the furthest away wall as a familiar, tall figure creeps through the sliver of opened door. Your heart leaps into your mouth as the temperature of the room drops even further, a stiff breeze quickly sneaking in as the door is left ajar, its guardian showing no fear of a potential escape.
"Evening, pet." A deep voice greets and the cadence of it sends a deep shudder rolling through your spine as your back pushes even harder against the wall, your eyes now rooted to the floor to avoid any misstep.
Your trembling fingers clutch at the ragged blanket which he had so graciously provided after you begged for something, anything, to stave off the bone-chilling cold which settled in during the long nights. The fabric was frayed at the edges and rotted with holes which looked to be the result of moths, a stale scent clinging to the fibres. It was disgusting but you had carefully hidden the retch which threatened your throat as he presented it and, further still, hidden the disgust as you delivered his 'reward' for such a kind treat.
"No hello?" His voice drops any pretence, and your frightened eyes instantly snap to his own, the rounded wire-rimmed glasses doing nothing to hide the frigid emerald gaze below. "How unfortunate. I thought we had finished up our work on basic manners."
"Hello, D-Dr. Crane." You stutter out, panic tearing through your thoughts at your own stupidity for forgetting his rules. His lessons were cruel and never ended before both your body and mind were shattered, broken into a pitiful submission until he next decided you had slipped up. "I-I'm sorry, I've just woken up."
"Lazy." He sneers, genuine contempt playing in his features as he looms over you. "I've been awake for fourteen hours and the night is still young. Such laziness deserves correcting as I will not stand for a substandard little pet. Not when I have so kindly visited to check in on them."
His Scarecrow costume is tight around his body and your eyes drop to the telltale bulge in his brown slacks and the sight of it sparks fresh despair in your chest as you realise exactly what he is here for.
"No. No, please. Not again." You whine through jittering teeth, your knees drawing up flush against your chest as your fingers curl harder into the ratty blanket. "Please. No."
He moves quicker than you anticipated, and a shrill cry breaks free of your lips as his fingers latch around your shivering frame and push you down to the mattress. Whatever resistance you make is weak and pathetic, a lack of food and movement making your body feel lethargic and frail, even against his mild strength.
Stars flash across your darkening vision as his thin hands slams your head off the mattress, a sharp pain in your lower lip altering you to the fresh split in the skin there as blood pools within your mouth.
Apologies spill from your lips, disturbing the fresh cut further, and the words fall free thoughtlessly as your body tenses before going slack against any further brutality.
Just let him do what he wants.
He will anyway.
The blanket now fallen away, you lay there naked and stunned as the chill from the opened door washes over your bruised skin; the mottled colours of older injuries standing out starkly. His hand releases your head, and you cry silently as you remain as still as possible until a sharp kick to the outer thigh makes you yelp in surprise.
"Ready yourself."
Whimpering with shame as you draw your knees up and bend your head down, you present your naked ass, allowing him to move out of sight behind you as you hear the familiar sound of shuffling fabric and the rustle of a zip.
A sharp nail scores a harsh line across your ass and you can feel the well of blood immediately as he breaks the skin there. It's a sharp pain but against the other aches of your abused frame, it means very little aside from sparking a fresh whimper from your lips.
Openly sobbing as his finger presses against your asshole, you spread your knees further to allow him easier access - knowing that the punishment will be a lot harsher if you don't.
"Good pet." His finger pulls away and you flinch as a warm glob of spit lands just above your hole, the insufficient lube rolling across your ass as his finger returns to spread it carelessly. "Now, keep being good or I'll belt this ass raw and bloodied before enjoying my reward."
His cockhead bumps messily against your hole and despite the shuddering of your upper chest and face as they press against the cold stone flooring, you try to relax. Anything to make it easier and lessen even a little of the pain; even the lube was only for his own convenience, to ensure that he didn’t damage his own cock as he used you freely.
He enters your ass with a thrust which takes your breath away as you burn and stretch around him, forced to take half his length without mercy.
"Always so tight around me," he purrs, "pulling me in further like a whore." At the final word he jerks his hips forward once again and a broken sob flutters across the floor as his hips lay flush against your ass, the sharp sting of his entry a wretched discomfort as you feel hollowed out.
"Please, take it out." You beg, unable to stop. "It hurts. Y-you're killing me."
A callous laugh cuts across your words as his thin hand pulls your head free of the mattress and your scalp burns at the vicious tug as he tilts your head as far back at it would allow.
"Killing you? Don't be dramatic, pet. Why would I kill my favourite little project? You survived my toxin; you can survive a little fuck. If not, then maybe we should mix the two? My toxin is begging for another round inside that soft little frame."
Genuine fear stiffens your frame, your body thrashing and tightening your ass around him while he grunts at the sudden pressure, as you recall his toxin. You had lasted over an hour before passing out. A full hour of creeping shadows and horrific beasts tearing at your skin as you screamed and wailed and pissed yourself in terror. Awaking after that had been just as wretched as the ache of your abused body told you of just how much he had enjoyed your terror as you were lost in hallucination.
Even through the mania, you had heard his laugh. That high, cold laughter which mocked your suffering as he basked in the fruits of his labour. You remember him scolding you for the mess as he promised a cruel bath, little more than chilled water hosing you down as you retched and squealed under the hard pressure.
Snapping back to the present as his hand collides against your ass, sparking a dull ache in the abused skin, he continues his very real threat.
"What do you think would sink deeper; the needle or my cock?"
Mewling out something incomprehensible as you cough out some of the blood which has accumulated in your mouth, you clench your ass around him - ignoring the way it sparks a dull, throbbing pain in your guts - as you miserably await him finishing.
His pace is frantic and cruel, every thrust designed to inflict as much discomfort as possible as you writhe and bawl beneath him. Every breath is erratic, his panting broken up by feral growls and grunts as he nears his peak.
With a merciful swiftness, his sharp nails dig into the vulnerable skin of your hips as he drives himself as deep as possible as he comes. Heat pools within your mauled ass as he refuses to pull free, coating you with his release as he issues a strangled snarl, every inch the beast he truly was.
You press your head against the mattress roughly, pushing your tears into the stained fabric as he finally frees himself; his cock pulling from your ass with an obscene noise as you feel his cum trickle free of your abused hole.
Nothing else is said, his silence as oppressive as the cold air which now assaults your sweat- slicked skin, and you lie there pathetically sobbing into the mattress as you await his next torment.
It's not until a full minute later, several moments after the screech of the metal door alerts you to his exit that you even dare to move.
Slipping your fingers back to your ass, you brush against the tender flesh there as you wipe away his release - the very feel of it making your throat tight with an unrealised retch.
Wiping your stained fingers on the furthest edge of the thin mattress, you try to ignore the slight pinkish tinge to the liquid as you once again curl into a defensive position; a twisted relief that he had not followed through with his threat of toxin making you deliriously thankful even as fat tears roll across your filth-covered cheeks.
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transskywardsword · 9 months
Text
Spider Meet Fly/Fly Meet Spider Chpt 3 - An Unfamiliar World
a totk au where link and zelda switch places, focusing on fixing plot holes found in the memories and giving ganondorf actual characterization
read all of spider/fly on ao3
Link wasn’t sure when he finally fell asleep, body too exhausted from shock and gloom poisoning to stay awake for long, but once he did, he slept for far longer than he expected to, interrupted only by constructs with more pain elixirs. He’d refused them at first, even with the constructs threatening to sick Queen Sonia on him-- until the first elixir actually ran out, leaving him without anything to dull the pain. The sliver of time in between then and when he desperately begged to take whatever they would give him had been unbearable, and all he had been able to do was curl around himself and try not to cry or bite through his tongue as pain wracked through him, radiating from his arm and his head. Link had felt much pain throughout his life and had the scars to prove it—hell, he had died, for Goddesses' sake. But this, this was unlike anything he had ever felt. Choking down his pride and downing the painkillers became easy after that.
Sonia, whom Link had been told had been visiting every hour on the hour, had sat beside him with his head in her lap, gently stroking his sweaty hair and promising that once the swelling went down they would move him to the strange magic treatment that King Rauru had used when he lost his own arm, and that in a few days’ time the pain would be gone and all would be well.
It didn’t matter how pathetic Link felt for relying on the comfort of a stranger, those moments with his head in Sonia’s lap were a blessing like no other. If he closed his eyes and drifted through the agony, he could imagine it was Zelda who was holding him, who was whispering comforts and soft, sweet distractions, who was promising him a respite for the pain.
When Link finally awoke for good, Sonia carefully informed him that it had been a week since he was found. A week. A whole damn week where Zelda was Gods knows where, all alone.
“We need to get to the Plateau where you found me.” He wrote, hand shaking, and Sonia sighed before giving in with surprisingly little push back.
“You would find a way to go anyways,” she told him. “This way, I can come with you.”
“Absolutely not.” Rauru said from the doorway. He was flanked by two constructs holding strange, green bandages and other salves, and when he strode into the room he resembled perfectly the king that he was. His mane was partially slicked back and pinned on top of his head, his elegant robes traded for an equally elegant shawl that allowed for a greater range of motion. “Link and I shall go together. You need your rest.”
Sonia rolled her eyes, face still pleasant but body language speaking of a familiar argument. “I’m fine.”
“You’re due any day now. I will not have our child born on a forest floor,” Rauru said, arms crossed, and Sonia laughed. It echoed Zelda’s laugh, light and youthful despite Sonia’s age, and once again Link found himself wondering if the two shared blood. Eyes wide, Link looked to Sonia’s stomach—its size had been hidden in the dozens of folds of fabric and jewelry that made up her dress, but now that Link paid closer attention, he could see the outline of a swollen belly. Sonia was pregnant. Sonia was pregnant.
Sonia moved from Link’s side to Rauru’s, placing a hand on his cheek. The Zonai man leaned into her touch, eyes fluttering shut.
“Have a little faith in us,” She said, and Rauru smiled. His hand drifted to her belly, and the look in his eyes spoke of pure adoration. “We shall go to the sacred healing spring on the Plateau, together, and begin to unravel this mystery.”
Rauru sighed. “One day, I will learn to say no to you.”
Sonia’s smile was blinding.
“Now,” Rauru said, turning to Link, “there is the real reason I came to see you. When I lost my arm, our healers, technicians, and magicians worked to develop a way to rapidly heal the wound. The pain won’t disappear overnight, but it should be manageable, and you would be able to leave bed-rest without fear of infection.”
Link nodded, and the constructs moved closer towards him.
“May we proceed?” One chirped, and Link nodded again, steeling himself. The construct unwound the green bandages from the box they sat in. They were pale, almost white, and smelled strongly of magic, old and rich, like time had been melted down and left to cool. The construct opened a jar.
“This will be cold.” It said, before beginning to paint a bright green, sickly sweet smelling, freezing cream across Link’s stump. Holding the arm steady, the other construct began to wind the bandages around it. Slowly, the green began to glow. Warmth spread up Link’s arm. There was a tingling numbness, then nothing, then a soft, fuzzy sensation as his sense of feeling began returning to the flesh. Link raised what was left of his arm; an ache was still present, but he could move his shoulder without the same flair of pain.
“It will keep infection at bay and spur the healing process,” Rauru said, flexing his own prosthetic. “While it will take time for the arm to be at its best, you should be able to move it around now. It will hold until the prosthetic is finished.”
Link frowned. “Prosthetic?”
“Should you want one,” Sonia interjected. “There is no pressure, nor any rush. It is your body, and so your decision.”
“Should you say yes, I have someone in mind who would be more than qualified and just as eager to help. My sister, Mineru, is quite the engineer, and is gifted in spirit magic that allows her inventions to mesh well with the body and soul – she designed and created my own arm. Her skill, combined with your secret stone would allow for the creation of an arm like no other.”
Link fingered the fleshy end of his stump. The bandages were soft and warm, like freshly laundered sheets. Did he want a prosthetic? He hadn’t even considered the option till now. But right now, without his left arm, he couldn’t communicate like usual, couldn’t fight— with no left arm, he couldn’t wield the Master Sword, and that was not an option. With the mummy on the loose, he had to be at his best.
“You said I have a secret stone?” Link wrote, and Rauru nodded. Carefully, the Zonai reached into his shawl and brought out the stone from the cavern. Now that Link was seeing it in the day, the sight of it was breathtaking. It reminded him of the light that pulsed out of a dragon horn, molded and manipulated into a weighty, elegant teardrop.
“Your secret stone that you came to us with,” Rauru said offering it to Link. Sonia’s hand drifted to the teardrop hanging on her neck. It glittered amber, and now that Link had noticed it, he had no idea how he hadn’t before. It was mesmerizing, glistening and sparkling in the room’s bright light, and seemed to radiate subtle, sweet magic.
“I think it’s best we talk on the road,” Sonia said, taking her king’s hand. “While I trust my people, there have been whispers lately of treason on the edges of Hyrule, and this is not information that just anyone should know. We’ll get you some clothes, and then we’ll be on our way.”
“Is that satisfactory?” Rauru asked.
“Let me hold the stone,” Link wrote before holding out his hand. Rauru’s face twitched, though what that meant Link wasn’t sure, and the Zonai passed over the stone. It was somehow both chilly to touch and impossibly warm.
“Clothes would be wonderful,” Link wrote, suddenly aware of just how under-dressed he was to be speaking with royalty. “And then to the Great Plateau?”
Rauru nodded, clasping Sonia’s hand. “To the Great Plateau.”
Link sighed. Let them be off into this new yet familiar world.
---
Seeing the castle—because Link had been staying in a castle, that much was certain—from outside instead of from the four post bed that had served as Link’s home for the past week, was difficult to comprehend. It towered, taller than Hryule Castle ever had been, as tall as some of the tallest Sheikah Towers, and as the spires curved up, up, up into the air, they began to defy gravity, twisting into organic platforms and open-air rooms that hovered elegantly in the air. The world around him was a jungle, and while Link was positive he could identify any part of Hyrule without a map, he was clueless as to where he was. The humid air and hanging vines made him think of Faron, but the they had made it to the Plateau in just a few hours of walking. Faron and the Great Plateau were miles upon miles apart in his era.
His era. Wasn’t that a thought?
Link still wasn’t sure he was convinced, but it seemed pointless not to be at this point. What else could this be other than another time-fucked adventure?
Link longed for Zelda’s opinion. She would know what to make of all this.
Link ran his fingers over the skirt (Zonanite waist guard, according to the construct that had helped dress him) that Sonia and Rauru had provided for him. The shin guards and waist guard were made of a combination of cream and green linen and deep green decorative stones. The dragon motif was unsurprising, but the lightness of the stone was, and the gold leaf was elegant, forming organic yet geometric designs across fabric and stone alike. Link was fairly certain the traditional wear was worn without any kind of shirt, but Rauru had provided him a shawl not unlike his own. Link wasn’t ashamed of the scars littered across his chest, but the stump was still uncomfortable to look at, and he accepted it gratefully. The deep green material was pinned in place with strange black and green stones Link had never seen before, clinking softly as he walked up the scaffolding that had been strung from the base of the Plateau up to it’s cliffs. There were no stone walls surrounding this Plateau, no decayed remnants of regalia like what Link knew covered the cliff-faces in his time. This Plateau was littered with constructs building something, the ground covered in wheels and winged stone and strange automated fans. New housing, maybe? It looked like a town. Men and women in strange clothing had mingled around them, bowing to Rauru and Sonia as they had passed. Now, as Link, Rauru, and Sonia hiked a thousands meter drop up the scaffolds, Link kept glancing nervously towards Sonia. She seemed perfectly fine climbing from scaffolding board to scaffolding board and up ladders and steps, but the size of her belly made him nervous. Could pregnant women exercise so much?
“I’m fine,” She said delicately from in front of him. “Light cardio is recommended, and good for my and the baby’s hearts.”
Link flushed, and Sonia laughed. “I appreciate your concern, but I promise I know my limits.”
“So she says,” Rauru said, voice light, and Sonia swatted him playfully.
“Hush, you.”
They rounded the last ladder and stepped up onto the Plateau cliffs properly, and Link’s breath caught in his throat. This…
This wasn’t the Hyrule he knew. He swallowed, not wanted to voice the terrifying thought just yet.
The ruins that made the Plateau what it was were gone, as was the Temple of Time. In its place was a ginormous, white building made of elegant curves.
“The Temple of Time,” Rauru explained, and Link’s brain frazzled, thoughts looping around themselves. What? What?
Rauru led them up a path Link knew well. This one led up to the Shrine of Resurrection. They had found him here? Ironic.
He jogged up ahead, ignoring Rauru’s call to come back, turning into a sprint as he neared the entrance to the cave. Link spun, looking over the cliff that housed the cave. No castle, obviously, but Death Mountain was but a small collection of mountain ranges, and the Dueling Peeks were in one piece and—
No. No, no, no, this wasn’t how this was supposed to happen.
“Link?” Sonia called softly. “Are you alright?”
Link hadn’t realized he’d been shaking until Rauru placed a hand on his shoulder. Link took a steadying breath and began to write.
“It’s as you thought. This is… this is not the Hyrule I know. So it’s true. I really am…” His stylist froze, unsure what to say. His hand went to his side where his secret stone had been inlaid in the scabbard Rauru had provided for the Master Sword. This Hyrule… this was a time so far back in the past that it has become legend.
“I really am in the era of Hyrule’s founding.”
Zelda would be so jealous.
Link wasn’t sure how long he stared at the bafflingly wrong skyline, but it was long enough for the sun to shift its place in the sky and the shadows to lengthen. Finally, Rauru broke the silence.
“Your presence here is just as strange to us, Link.” He said, voice surprisingly gentle. “Do not fear; we will find a way to return you home.”
Link nodded dumbly. He was very sure at that moment that looking for Zelda here would be pointless. She was gone. Link was sure of it.  Rauru stepped closer and reached out a hand. “May I?”
Link extended the sword scabbard and Rauru ran a careful hand over the secret stone. It was identical to the one inlaid in the back of Rauru’s hand. Could they perhaps be the same one?
“You are never, ever to let another hand other than mine, Sonia, or your own touch this stone, do you understand?” He said, voice surprisingly dark. Link made sure to meet Rauru’s eyes as he nodded, hoping the simple movement came across as the promise he intended it to be.
“I have hypothesized that it was your stone that sent you here. I sense great light magic within you, and your stone calls it forth. Light magic is complex and often unpredictable—with your stone amplifying your innate magic, I don’t disbelieve that it could do otherworldly things, including pulling one through time.”
Link lifted the scabbard to eye level. Innate magic? That sounded much more like Zelda, the Princess, Hylia Incarnate and Daughter of Nayru. Link knew, hypothetically, that he was tied to Hylia as well, that he was the Chosen of Farore, but it was hard to picture himself as any kind of magical. On the scabbard, the stone shone a pale green, and when he focused he could hear that strange singing on the wind. Link hooked it back on his belt and ran gentle fingers over the stone. Its surface was still cool while the inside burned with brilliant warmth. A jolt went through his fingertips, not unlike Farosh’s lighting, but leaving the same feeling of electric comfort Link associated with praying to a Goddess statue.
Strange.
“Oh?” Sonia said, voice light. “The secret stone is what convinces you? I believed in him right away.”
Rauru’s fur bristled and the Zonai turned to his wife, mouth open to retort, but Sonia just giggled. “Be at peace, beloved. I can sense great light within him. And traces of time manipulation—you must be quite the skilled fighter with time on your side in such a way.”
Link furrowed his brow. Time manipulation? Sure, bullet time and flurry rushes and perfect parries—the names he had given for his unique fighting skill-set—were something only he could achieve, but that wasn’t magic, was it? Surely Zelda would have noticed. Sonia placed a hand on his elbow, breaking Link from his musings. Her smile was bright and calming.
“In any case,” Rauru said, drawing himself back up to his full regal height, “I’m sure you need to return to your time as soon as you possibly can, if your sword’s destruction is any indication.”
“Yes. In my time, something terrible is happening, and I have to be there to stop it. I need to get back, immediately—how? How do we send me back?”
“Link, dear, you can’t solve your problems all at once.” Sonia said, taking his hands and leaning down to meet his eyes. She truly was breathtaking. “Come back with us to the castle. We’ll introduce you to the court formally; we’ll tell them you’re… a visiting knight, from an allied country in search of aid. It is true, after all.”
Rauru nodded. “I have no doubt that, through investigation of this stone, the answers will reveal themselves to us.”
“Exactly,” Sonia echoed. “Wisdom takes time.”
Except Link wasn’t the wise one. That was Zelda, who was currently Gods only knew how many years away. Link pulled his hands back.
“I—” his stylist hovered for a moment. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything. We’ll look for your friend, together, and then return to the castle.”
“My sister, Mineru, understands the stones best out of all of us. She might had some idea of how to proceed—that, and if you so desire, the two of you could discuss a prosthetic.”
“You don’t hold yourself like someone with a sibling,” Link wrote, and Rauru blinked once, twice, before laughing, truly laughing for the first time since Link had met him.
“My older sister,” he said, voice filled with warmth, “by three and a quarter minutes. She is a brilliant engineer, a gifted magician, and the greatest historian to bless this generation. She knows far more than anyone about our people, and like you, wields a secret stone. We’ll call on her.”
“Now then!” Sonia said, clapping her hands together, “I promised we would search for your friend, and search we shall.”
Link debated telling them not to bother—Zelda was gone. The strange, almost divine connection that existed between the two as Hero and Hylia had gone dim and quiet. Still, Link drew his sword.
Please, he thought, digging deep, deep into the mental link he’d been trying to widen and strengthen over the past five years, I am searching for the Princess, for any trace of her. Anything at all.
The sword let out a pitiful chime, and for a blessed movement it vibrated in his hand, pulling at his gut, urging him forward. The dowsing was working! Poorly, almost pitifully poorly, but enough. His sword was alive, was fighting. Then, the light flickered out, leaving behind cold emptiness where the mental link between him and the Master Sword usually sat. Link swallowed.
Well. He really shouldn’t be surprised, should he?
Sonia stepped closer, but Rauru placed a hand on her shoulder.
“We’ll look near the base of the hill and the pond. Meet us there when you feel ready.” He said softly, turning to leave before Link could acknowledge him. Link took a shaky breath, then other, before turning to the mouth of the cave that held the Shrine of Resurrection.
The cave was different than he remembered. The walls were less eroded, not chiseled away to make room for Sheikah tech, and the smell of a hot spring wafted from the guts of the cave. Sonia and Rauru said they found him in a sacred healing spring—it was surprisingly calming to know that even millennia in the past, the Shrine of Resurrection still held healing power. Link ducked into the final room of the cave. No bed, no pedestal. No Sheikah life support. Just a cheerfully bubbling hot spring and more fairies than Link had ever seen outside a fountain. One drifted closer, cocking her head as she squinted at him.
“You smell funny,” she said, her voice sweeter than the chiming of a bell.
“I forgot to shower,” Link said, and she crinkled her nose.
“No, dummy, you smell like magic.”
Link shrugged. The fairy continued trying to talk to him, but he wasn’t listening, suddenly incredibly tired. He unbuckled his shawl with some difficulty, trying and then giving up on unlacing the shin guards one handed, and finally walking into the hot waters mostly clothed. He hugged the Master Sword close and closed his eyes. If he tired hard enough, he could imagine the waters were the Sheikah’s medical fluid surrounding him as he slept and slept and slept for a century. Back when things were simple, and all he had to do was kill a pig.
Link wasn’t sure how long he spent in the spring, but it was long enough for his hands and feet to wrinkle and the sun begin to lower at the cave’s entrance. Link pulled himself out, shivering at the loss of the hot water, and pulled the shawl back on, not even bothering to buckle it. If Sonia and Rauru thought anything of it as he moved down the hill, they kept their mouths shut. Good.
“I’m sorry.” Sonia said softly, and Link wanted desperately to tell her to not be, to shut up, to do something other than look at him with those earnest eyes. Instead, he simply nodded.
“We need to return to the castle,” Rauru said, and the gravity in his voice gave Link pause. “I’m afraid duty calls. I’ve been told that a messenger from the Gerudo has arrived.”
“Maybe now we can get to the bottom of your intelligent gibdo,” Sonia said to Link with a strained smile, but Rauru’s face was still serious, almost dark.
“Perhaps. For now, keep close. Ganondorf is an unstable man, and I do not trust his Twinrova.” Rauru placed a hand on his wife’s belly.
“You worry too much,” she whispered, and Rauru shook his head.
“Often I fear, my dear, that I do not worry enough.”
---
The walk back to the palace was silent. Guards were waiting for them when they returned to the construction at the base of the Plateau, a wide mix of muscular Hylians decorated with dragons and Zonai warriors that towered over them, all armed to the teeth with strange glowing swords that reminded Link of the Sheikah guardian weapons of his first adventure. Sonia had whispered something to Rauru about the escort being too much, but the Zonai king hadn’t answered, just stared straight ahead with a look of cold regalness Link had never seen on him. Sonia gave Link a tight smile, her hand fluttering on top of her belly, and that had been that.
Link didn’t know who this ‘Ganondorf’ was, or what a Twinrova was, but Rauru obviously didn’t trust it, and that was enough for Link.
And then there was the name. Ganondorf. Link didn’t want to make assumptions or demonize someone from a name alone, but the similarity to ‘Ganon’ was obvious. It could be a coincidence. It had to be one. Calamity Ganon was a creature, and beast, a monster, and from the sound of it all, Ganondorf was just a man. One Rauru did not want in his castle, near his people, and certainly not near his wife and unborn baby. Even Sonia, who had seemed unflappable, looked tense. Her bare feet echoed on the stone mosaic floor as they entered the foyer.
“I tried to escort them to the reception room, but they refused to wait—” One servant, a tall, olive skinned woman with obsidian eyes said to them, only to be cut off by a second.
“And they kept doing that thing they do, with the masks, and they haven’t said a word in Zonai or Hylian since they arrived—”
Another servant butted in, wringing their hands. “They won’t stay put! And they keep threatening people and we didn’t know what to do!”
Rauru held up a hand. “Where are they now?”
“The throne room!” A fourth squeaked, and Rauru sighed through his snout.
“Are they alone?”
“No! Mineru is with them.”
“Good, good. Sonia—”
“I’m coming with you to see them,” Sonia said, chin jutted forward. In that moment she seemed even taller than Rauru. Rauru steeled his jaw.
“Absolutely not. The Gerudo—Twinrova—are not to be underestimated, and I will not have you put in harms—”
Sonia grabbed Rauru’s clawed hand and placed it on her swollen belly.
“Ours. This is ours. Together. We are not two separate beings—we are one. And we will do this together.”
Rauru’s mouth hung open for a rather embarrassing moment before clicking shut hard.
“Very well. Link, come. Once Mineru is free of those women you two shall go discuss the stone. Till then, stay by my side. Do not interact with our guests—avoid drawing their attention in any way. Do you understand.”
Link nodded. He tried to remember if Riju ever mentioned any Gerudo named Twinrova, but the name pulled a blank. Damn.
“Good. Now, come.”
Rauru marched off deeper into the castle, taking strides so long and so fast that Link struggled to keep up without jogging. Sonia’s hands rested on her stomach, and her eyes were far away.
“Twinrova are the sisters of the current Gerudo king, Ganondorf,” She told Link softly. “Very powerful women. Also very dangerous. Believe me when I say they are not to be underestimated.”
Link’s hand went to the Master Sword and the secret stone hidden there in the scabbard. Not to be underestimated, huh?
The entourage of servants, guards, and royalty finally came to the arching doors of the throne room—Link was surprised by its simplicity, given the opulence of Hyrule Castle. The two thrones were simple stone, adorned in green dragon motifs and golden linen. And there, in the center of the room, stood three women.
The first was Zonai, shorter than Rauru but still sharing the details of his face, the same sloping snout and brilliantly colored eyes. Her ears stretched up instead of out, still impossibly long, and her clothing seemed to float around her in an almost ghostly manner. At the hollow of her throat was a purple secret stone: Mineru. Before her were two Gerudo, woman so tall they could look the Zonai in the eyes. Their hair was buzzed short in swirling designs on their head, and Link recognized the colors and symbols of royalty, or at least those close to it, in their black and gold clothing. One was covered in rubies, encrusted on her robes, her fingers, her arm bands, her hair, while the other dripped sapphires. However, the most striking thing of the two women was the expressionless, blank golden masks they wore. Link had seen traditional Gerudo masks before, both in action in royal ceremonies and on display. They were always decorated in jewels and painted in bold expressions with bolder colors—the simplicity of Twinrova’s masks were out of place amongst Link’s previous knowledge. But if these were Ganondorf’s sisters, then they were still royalty, and deserved to be treated as such.
Link took his hand and placed it over his heart, palm open and fingers spread so as to show he was unarmed, and bent slowly at the waist, counting to three before coming back up and looking at the sisters in the eyes. He waited for Rauru to follow, to show the women the respect that their bloodline called for, but he stayed rigid.
“So, they have brought a little sand rat with manners.” The one in ruby murmured to her sister in Gerudo.
“Perhaps it can teach its master a thing or two,” The sister murmured back.
“Do you think they’ve taken it in as a bed warmer or as a pity project? Look at that arm—what an embarrassment.”
“That’s enough,” Rauru said, voice fierce despite its low volume. “In my castle, we speak what we can all understand.”
“Forgive us,” Sapphire said. “We forget that the Hylians and Zonai are too busy running Hyrule to learn the language of the people around them.”
Ruby snorted. “You have a new pet.”
“Mineru, take Link down to discuss some of his… pressing matters.” Rauru said to the Zonai woman, who nodded sternly and turned her gaze to Link.
“Come.”
“Wait! We want to see the sand rat that would bow to us as we so deserve.”
Link stepped forward even as Rauru opened his mouth to tell him to stay put.
“What is your name, sand rat?”
“L-I-N-K.”
The mask hid any of the women’s reactions to his signs.
“He’s a visiting knight from an allied nation,” Rauru said, resting a hand on Link’s shoulder and dragging him back between him and Sonia. “But he is not the important thing here. I take it that Ganondorf has his answer for me?”
“Yes,” the women said at once. “Go fuck yourself.”
Rauru bristled.
“Remove your troops from our borders. Return our land. We do not do business with cowards, and the Gerudo will forever be independent. You may have bullied our neighbors into submission, but the Gerudo stay strong. Leave, or face consequences.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“Do we need to? The Gerudo will not join Hyrule. The Gerudo will never join Hyurle. Return what you have taken, or we shall take it back by force. That is all.”
The women turned, already marching for the door, their feet in perfect time with each other. The sapphire one looked over her shoulder at Link. Her eyes burned.
“Be wary of the company you keep, sand rat.” She said in Gerudo. And then they were gone.
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Text
I have grown tired of the same old song and dance
People always act so hurt when they find out that I just view them as an audience...
But why would I view them as anything more when they just view me as a source of entertainment.
I give them something to look at, to gossip about.
I have these feelings in me of resentment when people are attracted to my image, even though I am responsible for creating my image myself.
I resent them for never bothering to look deeper.
They like my style, they like my body, they like how exciting I can be.
They like to psychoanalyze me, they study me.
They talk about me as if I am a medical subject to them even though they only took one psychology class in college.
I'm just so interesting, a character. They want to know what I'm doing. They want to see what I look like. Constantly changing. Hair dye, plastic surgery, rapid weight loss and weight gain.
I'm truly a spectacle to many people, I'm sure.
They act so offended that I view them all as nothing but spectators
I am not thankful for your interest
I am not flattered that you find me exciting, I'm acting manic and I only socialize when I'm binge drinking
You think I'm pretty? I want to customize myself like a video game character. I don't care if you like it, it's my character anyway so all that matters is that I look how I want to look
I am not impressed by praise to my outward appearance, despite how it may seem that I dress for attention.
Sometimes I think I am subconsciously setting a trap. I am always generating a self fulfilling prophecy in which I purposefully doll myself up to stand out, only to anger myself when people only approach me when I look visually appealing.
Over time, I have become more private. I don't post my thoughts publicly as much anymore. I don't tell many people any information about what is going on in my life anymore. (this is an anonymous diary so this does not count 🤪)
When I used to post about that stuff on Facebook, I think it made a lot of people feel like they knew me.
They really didn't. I'm not going to give that to people around me anymore.
They thought they were my friends, but they were just an audience to someone they don't even really know.
But is it really my fault if people take shallow slivers of information about me and convince themselves that they actually know me just from that?
No one was hitting me up
No one invited me unless it was a fucking party. Where I can be a spectacle once again.
No invites one on one.
No small get-togethers.
No deep conversations.
Me oversharing when I binge drink doesn't replace laying in bed and talking about our dreams until 4am.
None of them were fucking friends and they deserve to be reduced to numbers.
Well I don't even want them as numbers anymore.
I don't want empty validation. I don't want to be "known" by people I don't even care about anymore.
I am putting locks up. I'm setting passwords. You have to win my trust and my attention, or I won't give it to you at all.
I am probably regarded as self-absorbed. The "audience" may cry out about how I shouldn't isolate myself from them...
Or what? You'll have to find someone else to be your case study?
People who want to get along with as many people as possible are worse than people who are ornery and asocial.
I despise people who value networking and popularity over finding a few people in this world who are actually deeply special to them.
A bunch of shallow connections are worthless to me.
I know I have to play nice in some settings, and just be a little friendly. Just be polite. But it drains me to pretend. It drains me so much
I find more comfort being alone or with my partner. Being with him has the comfort of being alone without feeling lonely.
If I were to die and only a few people knew me well enough to mourn me, I would be ok with that. I do not care if I leave anything behind. I have no children, no legacy.
I just want to exist, enjoy myself, and find a few people that bring me comfort and joy.
I do not feel much shame for how much I prioritize the self.
Men do it all the time. They follow their dreams. They don't have to be dragged down by parenting, that can be left to the mother. They are encouraged to realize their potential, look within, understand themselves and know what they want in life. It's OK for men to care more about making money than being parents and serving others.
Maybe I should have been born a man. But to be honest, my mother raised me equally to my brothers. I don't think she intended to influence me to reject motherhood, but I know deep down she always wished she could have focused on her education and hobbies.
She did everything. All my dad had to do was go to work and come home and watch TV. Although she did love him, she seems to have found freedom in having her children grow into adults. When my dad died, she finally started focusing on her hobbies and her goals. That is what she always wanted.
I do not feel like I am more selfish for refusing to have children and go straight to self growth as if I am a man. I think she wishes she had the option to, but I was born. I wasn't even unplanned.
I think she just always thought that is what her life's purpose was supposed to be as a woman. She had to be a mother.
I get enough mother feelings just from having some lazy, low-maintenance pets. I do not like children. I hate their screams, and I hate what they would represent if I had any. I know that deep down, I would feel like a child is an obligation that would take my freedom away. To be a parent, specifically a mother, you can no longer prioritize the self. You must prioritize the children, the family.
But men can still develop as an individual. I resent them for that fact. And my mother did too.
I am fortunate that my spouse does not force me into a box or place gendered expectations in me. I do not think of him as a "man", though I still use male pronouns most of the time. I am the same way, I use female pronouns but I consider myself a rebellion to what it means to be a "woman" in many ways.
Although my appearance is feminine, I strongly reject feminine roles. I hate cooking, I dislike children, I struggle with chores and organization.
I enjoy studying, I enjoy work that intrigues me. I fight anyone who tells me to tone myself down. I would never submit to a partner that told me what to wear or how to act. How to talk. I would quickly resent anyone who openly criticized me for traits that I value in myself.
My mother used to tell me I should sit funny, or I look mentally ill. Well, I am fucking mentally ill. So I never stopped. (I do kind of regret my bad posture as I have gotten older due to the back pain though lol)
My mother raised me with such a contradictory theme. She raised me to be my authentic self and reject anyone who would bully me or try to dull my sparkle for it, but at the same time she would bully me herself as if she should be allowed to control me but no one else can.
I am very resistant to any personalities that resemble that about my mother. I always go fight or flight. I'm not completely avoidant, but sometimes I find that avoiding people like that is better than fighting because I will lash out and cause a scene when I feel someone is mirroring the treatment I received from my mother growing up. When I feel that someone has crossed a line, all bets are off and I can become cuttingly cruel. Merciless even.
I can get myself into trouble with my tendency to be vindictive and mean, but I rarely ever show that side of myself for no reason. The problem is, no one has sympathy for you when you execute someone for stealing a loaf of bread if you know what I'm saying. Sigh
Anyway that's a wrap I guess for my bedtime rambles. I am getting sleepy.
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friend-of-giants · 2 years
Note
From that prompt list you mentioned in the server, how about “  you’re so beautiful when you laugh. i wish i could see it more, but maybe it’s the rarity of it that makes it so captivating. ” or “  close your eyes. go back to sleep. nothing can hurt you while i’m here.  ” for your choice of ship? :)
From the second I saw this ask, I knew exactly what I wanted to write. It's just taken me a while to get around to it, but here it is!
Prompt: "Close your eyes, go back to sleep. Nothing can hurt you while I'm here."
Word count: 1045
Tags: @cwahsont @vilkas @lookathooves @reachfolk @qah-naarin
A change from my usual, there's hardly any dialogue in this and it's mostly just introspection. What better time to reflect on the life you've been given than when you're sitting by a campfire under a perfect night sky?
(P.S. the position Teldryn is sleeping in is based on how I sleep, I've been told it's strange and looks uncomfy lmao but it isn't!)
A wolf howled somewhere off in the distance, a lonely soul searching for its pack, perhaps, or maybe a call to dinner.  Masser and Secunda hung low in the sky as faint slivers of bronze, topped by roiling ribbons of a deep sapphire blue, verging on purple.  No matter how many times the aurora graced the heavens, Wren never missed the chance to watch their dance.  She thought them a gift from Azura, a display of appreciation from the Queen of the Night Sky. 
Next to her, the campfire burned brightly, its light illuminating a small swath of still, tall grasses around them.  The breeze was absent.  There was no rustling of foliage, only the gentle crackle of their fire, the whispery breaths of their horses that lay nearby, and the occasional cry of animals as they went about their lives after dark.  Beyond the light's reach was a void of blackish-gray, the only indication that she was on land at all being a distinct boundary on the horizon between the nothingness and a sky full of stars.  She may as well be on a small island floating in the Void, as in that moment, nothing else in Tamriel mattered aside from her own little world lit up by the fire, and the busy night sky that lay above.  
Wren turned her gaze to the bedroll opposite the fire, where Teldryn lay sprawled out on top of it on his side, one leg pulled up toward his chest while the other stretched out behind him.  Both arms were curled around his face, as if he were shielding himself from an incoming punch.  She grinned and puffed out a breath of silent amusement, what an odd position to find comfortable!  In a few more hours she would have to wake him to take over the watch, though she hated to do so when he looked so peaceful.  She was growing tired, and briefly considered pushing his arms aside and crawling in next to him to rest for a bit, but knew she would fall asleep or become too distracted to keep her ears tuned in for any approaching danger.  
So she remained as she was, legs crossed beneath her with a soft smile on her face as she watched him sleep.  A moth fluttered up from behind him where it had been hiding in the grass, catching her eye as it rose.  It mingled with the sparks from the fire before the heat overwhelmed it, and the little creature dropped into the flames in a tiny puff of smoke.  Wren let out a little chuckle at its demise, then felt a sudden sense of sympathy for it.  The thought of meeting one's end after being drawn in by something so beautiful, so alluring and inescapable was a little unsettling.  
The possibility remained that the same could happen to her.  It had happened before; much like the moth, she had been attracted to an aspect of life so warm and bright, only she had been drenched in oil, in dragon's blood, which had hastened her own fall into the flames.  It frightened her, knowing she was merely a plaything of the higher powers.  They had cursed her with the blood and soul of a dragon, the very trait that caused her immeasurable pain and grief that she wouldn't wish on anyone.  She hoped this time, as she began to find some comfort in life again, that it would not burn her to ashes, for it would be the last time she would let that happen.  
A sharp jingle rang out through the still air, one of their horses shaking their head and rattling their halter.  Wren merely shifted her gaze to the direction of the sound, but the noise roused Teldryn, who stretched out and groaned before opening his eyes.  
"Everything alright?"  At the sound of his groggy words, a smile began to work its way to her lips.  He lifted his head from the ground and propped himself up onto an elbow, his eyes flicking across the darkened horizon beyond the firelight.  "What was that?"
"Nothing, Tel.  Just the horses."  
"Are you sure?" 
Wren nodded.  "I'm sure.  Probably just Dagon trying to get his halter off again, the little bastard."
"If you say so."  He squinted at her, concern shadowing his face.  "You tired?  Want me to keep watch for a while?"
"Aye, I'm tired but I've got this.   I'll wake you later."  She scooted closer, grabbed at his hand and let their fingers intertwine, and his once stiff posture relaxed.  "Now close your eyes, go back to sleep.  Nothing can hurt you while I'm here."
"It's not me that I worry about, daelha,"  he whispered, giving her hand a firm squeeze.  "You never know what's out there lurking."
"True, but I'll hear it coming before it has a chance.  You can trust me."  She ran her fingers across the handle of her axe which lay at her side, as if to be sure it was still there.  "Quit worrying about me and get some sleep.  We have a long ride ahead of us come sunrise."
Teldryn hummed agreeably and went back to his goofy sleeping position, though he kept one arm outstretched to keep her hand in his.  Wren sat there, a smile etched onto her features as she watched the lights slither through the inky blackness above her like great celestial snakes.  
No, nothing would bring them harm on this night, she could be certain of that.  Any dangers would be sensed before they stepped into the firelight, and would be greeted with some choice words and a spike of ebony between their eyes.  Wren had found happiness in her life once again, maybe even a purpose, something special that was worth defending.  She would risk her life, and if needed, fight the Gods themselves to protect him, and she knew without a doubt that Teldryn would do the same for her.  
Her fingers wrapped tighter around his, and he let out a sleepy grumble before giving a little squeeze back.  She returned her gaze to the heavens again, smiling as widely as her lips would allow.  A warm, dull ache grew in her cheeks.  It hurt a little, but she let it burn. 
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bloody-viscera · 1 year
Text
you're perfect, and lovely,
and everything i want.
but i'm stupid, and fucked up,
and everything you're not.
i'd rip my body in two, my love
and give you the unblemished parts of me--
but even those are grotesque;
full of bugs and hatred and--
a little boy crying alone in his room,
broken body trapping him.
and he's dying to get out,
this kind, crying child inside of me,
but he's gone forever,
lost amidst my grief and rage.
i killed him long ago:
on the day my father died--
i took my hatchet and hacked at his body,
carved out his insides;
now, i wear them as a trophy
so there will be no more crying boy.
but i forget, my darling,
that his spirit lingers,
clawing at this twisted, anguished husk;
his nails are dulled from the weight of my shame--
no, no blood is ever drawn--
but, somehow, they hurt worse than any pain i've ever felt.
so, i push him further down,
in between my protruding ribs,
until he is a mere whisper against my lungs.
in his place, there's a terror:
this man you've come to love.
this wraith of guilt and injustice,
this torrent of charred thoughts and insatiable bloodlust.
how can it ever love you properly
when love is trapped in that space inside my ribcage?
how can i give you what you need
when your nights are already spent fantasizing of death?
i will only hinder you,
leeching from your every sense,
and burrowing my way into your skin
so my teeth will glisten with the blood i asked you to give me.
and you'd give me everything right now, i know.
that is why i cannot sleep,
why this haunting creature smiles in delight
when he presses his lips to your neck.
because you are warm and soft, pliant and yielding
and he finds pleasure in trust--
he will take it and he will shatter it.
he is not kissing you, he is feeling for your heartbeat--
searching for that comforting sign of life
so he can destroy it.
because he is vile and dark
and he is me.
with his gaunt face and sunken eyes
that stare into the core of your purity:
he wishes for nothing more than to strip you of it.
he wants to fuck you and break you and hear you sob his name
so he can fantasize about carnage while buried inside of you.
your every smile makes him dream of innards twisted around his neck, cutting his air supply off--
and every kind word evokes a deep-rooted sense of rage, til his vision swims with red.
the crying child loves you so,
he wants to grow with you--
show you the world and hold your hand with his cold, broken ones.
but, a reminder, darling:
that i slaughtered him,
ripped his throat out with
my teeth sharpened by every bruise and cut.
and i yearn for vengeance,
long for justice for this weak boy.
because i care for him as i care for you.
but he had to die, he just had to.
so run while you can, my dear,
before the wretch i've become
saws your legs into tiny slivers
and feasts on the fear in your eyes,
inhaling the broken trust straight from your lungs.
i will only hurt you,
and as much as i want to,
i will never show you the boy--
even this abhorrent entity wouldn't survive if he was hurt.
only i can kill him--me.
and i will kill you, too,
suck the very life from your pierced lips
unless you go right fucking now.
so leave me,
drive me mad,
because this is all a front, anyway.
and my mask is slipping.
i did not kill the lonely boy--
his beating heart is my own.
i only covered him with a glamour
of a ten-foot-tall devil
who will hurt you.
i am the crying boy, even now,
and i smile at the mirror
when it shows me i am strong:
capable of hating someone i could never hate.
of hurting the love of my life.
i smile when my reflection twists more
into the vile man
that will hurt you.
i want you to leave,
to hurt me,
because i, this broken boy,
could never hurt you,
no matter what else i proclaim to be.
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luminaselfshipz · 7 months
Text
kind of a more personal fic (hurt/comfort, kind of a vent; shadmour. tw appearance-related insecurities, implied past abuse if you squint)
word count: 754
amour couldn't help but be self-critical.
here she was, stood in front of her mirror, analyzing herself. her body was something she never criticized much; she had grown to like her hip dips and her tummy, but it was her face that remained the victim of her self-loathing.
everything looked weird and misshapen to her. her dark eyes looked dead, with the shadowy circles underneath emphasizing how empty they looked. her nose was okay, she thought, besides her glasses always resting crooked on her nose; but her teeth were messed up and yellow, and her chin protruded in such a strange way, and her lips looked weird, and her face was all hairy-
the door opened behind her. in a panic, she picked up a shirt off the floor, quickly putting it on.
"just me, love," the familiar voice of her husband muttered behind her as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "how's my favorite woman in the whole world today~? how was work?"
"fine."
"something's wrong," he bluntly remarked with no hesitation.
"just trying to clean." she tried to find stray items to pick up as shadow removed his arms from her body.
"you're only this dry when you're worked up over something, baby."
"not now, please."
"so something is wrong."
"not now," amour repeated, her voice shaky as she picked other random things up, trying to look busy. shadow caught on to her tone, sighing as he sat on their shared bed.
"i can't force you to talk, but i'm here, okay? can you look at me?"
amour froze. she didn't want shadow to see her, she just wanted to hide her face, make sure no one had to see it.
"oh... i think i know what happened," shadow whispered sympathetically.
"...not now." amour muttered.
"no, we're talking about this now. come here." his voice was gentle yet authoritative, his gloved hand patting the spot next to him on the bed.
"no."
"please?"
amour stood up straight, puffing her chest up as she inhaled deeply to try to maintain her composure. she shuffled backward, trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible, sitting down next to shadow on the bed.
"tell me what happened, please."
"i wish i looked different."
"in what way?"
"shadow," amour sniffed between her words. "i'm not pretty by any means. i'm ugly and repulsive and i wouldn't be surprised if you only want me for my body, like everyone else did."
"that's not true and you know it," the hedgehog whispered sternly.
"s-sorry."
"don't be..." shadow's eyes never broke their gaze on the little sliver of amour's face that he could see as she looked away from him. "do you seriously think i'm that shallow, my dear?"
amour grimaced and slumped over as she let out a faint sob.
"oh, come here, starlight..." shadow tenderly hugged amour from the side, sighing softly and letting her cry as much as she needed. he didn't need to say anything for the moment. he just wanted to let her know that he was there. "you're safe. i'm not going to hurt you. i love you, no matter what you look like."
"i'm sorry..." she whimpered.
"shhh... don't apologize. just cry it out, baby." shadow's hand reached around amour's head, tenderly pulling her towards him to cry on him as he buried his snout in the crook of her neck, softly breathing against her skin.
"i wish i didn't fucking hate myself, shads," she whined between harsh sobs.
"mm... it's okay to have bad days, amour. but i know you don't hate yourself."
amour silently continued to cry, her tears dampening shadow's fur and quills.
"i know you don't hate yourself because... you're confident on your good days. you dress like you want to, and you don't worry about how you look. on good days, you just care about expressing yourself and being happy. so i know you don't hate yourself. you just had a bad day, i think."
"i-i guess so..."
"and if it helps at all, i think you're quite adorable." shadow pressed a soft kiss to amour's neck. "and even stunning, if i may."
amour sniffled. "thanks..."
"no need for that. would you say some takeout and a movie is a good plan for tonight, or do you just want to rest..?"
"you order, i nap till it gets here?" amour separated from shadow, wiping her tears away with a soft smile. "so i can have both?"
shadow smiled. "a perfect plan for my perfect woman."
0 notes
luvyanfei · 3 years
Text
how they comfort you when you’re sad
ft. diluc, kaeya, venti, childe, zhongli, albedo, & xiao non-requested piece 
diluc ragnvindr. 
as stoic as diluc may be, he’s the most emotionally affected by your misery out of the others listed here, but he’s clueless in how to help. he’s not adept in everything despite being known for being a perfectionist and unfortunately, comforting you is one of them. he would reach out a hand to you, and then pull it back to his side before you notice. it annoys him greatly how he can insult the knights without hesitation and combat against his enemies confidently, and yet...
it’s easy to get diluc flustered over the simpler things in life. you’re usually so happy and lively, the light to his dark that he finds it almost eerie to see you looking depressed as you enter the tavern. you don’t even spare him a glance, and slumps down at an empty seat, your head splayed down on the table. out of concern for your wellbeing, the winery owner whips up your favourite drink free of charge and delivers it himself to your spot. instead of leaving you as one would expect, he pulls up a chair and taps the wooden surface of the table with his gloved fingers, stirring you to look up at him. he greets you in a monotone voice unintentionally, and shyly asks if there are any problems going on in your life. he may not look like it, with how distant he is, but diluc would be very pleased to help you. 
with hesitation, you take the drink and start taking small sips from the cup. the savory taste melts on your tongue and your lips quiver slightly. before you know it, you’re reduced into a sobbing mess, your tears staining the floor. “what’s wrong?” dismayed, diluc rises up and pats your back, handing you a handkerchief from his jacket pocket for you to wipe your tears away with. 
he ushers you into a private room where nobody can see you and rubs your hands together. he doesn’t talk, instead fixating on calming you down. dabbing at your swollen eyes and cheeks gently with a drenched towel, diluc cradles your face and leans in close to you, your foreheads touching. “i’m here, [name],” his voice is soft and delicate, a sharp contrast to his formal and uninterested tone, “i will always be here for you, so you don’t need to worry about suffering alone. we’ll get through this together, alright?” 
kaeya alberich. 
he’ll take you to the tavern with him for a nice drink. it won’t do you any good to be by yourself and moping, right? as hypocritical as it may seem, kaeya is fully accepting of you coming to him for emotional support despite being rather closed-off when it comes to his personal emotions. if you’re underage, he’ll purchase you a soft drink or juice, and if not, a glass of wine will surely boost your spirits up. his attempt to cheer you up is to temporarily distract you from it. quite clever of him, no? of course, his objective isn’t for you to ignore your problems altogether, but to take your mind off of it until you can think a bit clearly. 
kaeya will act like a gentleman the whole time, letting a few teasing remarks slip out every now and then, but his attitude is toned down for the most part. after you consumed a plentiful amount of beverages, he takes a stroll with you in the night, passing by a bard stringing music on their lyre. this gives the cavalry captain an idea and he takes you into a secluded area, fireflies glowing to add a touch of whimsy to the scenario. still gripping your hand, he raises it up to kiss the surface and proposes you to join him in for a dance under the moonlight and stars. 
kaeya looks at you with a brimming grin. “are you feeling better now?” you nod, placing a hand on his open palm.
“now that you’re here, yes, i am.” his smile broadens and cups your cheek with his free hand. the tip of his thumb lightly grazes your bottom lip before he replaces it with his lips. the kiss is passionate and savory, a description that fits your relationship perfectly. 
“i’m glad you do,” he pulls back and breathes out a sigh of relief. “it’s the same with me. i admit, i also enjoy your company very much.” 
venti.
it’s best to let your emotions run loose. don’t bottle it up, okay? if you need to cry, then cry. sure, venti may act all carefree and exuberant, but even he has his serious sides from time to time. he takes the situation rather calmly, pulling you into a comforting embrace and rubbing your back as you tearfully sob. when he feels that you’re muscles have slowly relaxed and your cries have been reduced to tiny sniffles, he transitions out of the hug and places his hands on your shoulder, all with an angelic smile on his face. see, that wasn’t so bad, now was it?
if you’re up for it, venti will be happy to play you a quiet melody carried in the night breeze. he’ll position your head to lean on his shoulder as both of you sit down on the ground and he clears his throat before he begins singing. the stringing of the lyre, the gentle rustle of the leaves in the background, and the soothing sound of his voice automatically brings a smile to your lips. snuggling closer to him, you drift in a state of contentment and serenity. once the bard catches wind of your heavy breathing, your eyes fluttered closed, he stops his singing and presses a dainty kiss to your forehead. 
carefully, so he doesn’t disturb your slumber, venti carries you back to your resident and tucks you into bed. as he’s about to head off, you snag him by the wrist, and tug him back to your side. “please don’t go yet, venti.” he pats the hand imprisoning his wrist and chuckles in amusement. 
“don’t worry. i don’t plan on ever doing something like that.” he crawls into bed with you, tangling your legs together and hooking his arms around your waist. the tip of his nose grazes your hair faintly as your back is pressed against his chest. “not now, and not ever.” 
childe.
he’s the eleventh harbinger, yes, but beneath his fearsome title and mischievous demeanor, childe is a regular human with an affable heart. it hurts him seeing you look dejected, as if you’re on the brink of suffocating from insufferable pain. it’s like your emotions are a type of infection, contagious to say the least. if you’re happy, then he’s happy. if you’re sad, then you’ll bet he’s also going to drop his jovial gleam. luckily, growing up with siblings gives him an advantage here. he’s used to taking care of others and turning their frowns upside down. 
if he finds out someone has been upsetting you, he’ll personally deal with them himself, ordering them to apologize lest they want to face his wrath. if you’re having financial difficulties, he’ll lend you a generous amount of mora so you can clear your debts or help you find a well-paying job. either way, he’ll cradle you in his arms and compliment you for being strong, no matter what life throws at you. life’s hard, but that’s all the more reason why you should keep marching forward - hand in hand with childe.   
“shh, [name], it’s okay. don’t cry.” childe kneels before you and wipes away a salty tear. grabbing a teddy bear abandoned on the ground, he shoves it in front of your face. to your sudden bewilderment, he grabs the bear’s arm to pat you on the head and grins. “there, there. mr. teddy is here to make you happy once more.” 
you sputter out a giggle despite tears still leaking from your eyes. “childe, i’m not a little kid anymore. cut it out!” he resists the urge to pinch your cheeks when you pout cutely at him. 
“fine, fine. i’ll stop, but hey! at least you’re smiling again, right?” you roll your eyes and sniff. 
“yeah, i’m feeling a little better. thank you.”  
your comment forms a blush to dust his cheeks and he sheepishly scratches the back of his head. “there’s no need for gratitude. to me, your smile is the one thing i’d hate to lose.” 
zhongli.
feeling sad? his arms are already wide open and a box of tissues is conveniently laid on the table. zhongli is the wave that laps up your sorrows and tears, the lulling sound of his voice uttering words of reassurance like a tranquil melody to set your heart at ease. he’s the type who will lend a shoulder for you to cry on. while he brews up a nice cup of tea to soothe your mind, he encourages you gently to tell him whatever it is that’s bothering you. he soaks up every syllable that falls from your lips like a sponge and in a pensive state, he gives you advice in turn. 
you take his words to heart, since everything he’s said before have always been genuine and your trust in him runs deeper than the bottom of the sea. sure, maybe not everything he says is the answer that will cause your problems disappear, but he does guide you to choose rationally how you want to approach it. as much as zhongli would like to solve everything for you, he’s aware that there are times where only you have the potential to fix the issue. 
the golden ginkgo leaves twirl in the autumn breeze, as zhongli clasps his hands with yours. you adjust the scarf around your neck, shivering from the mild chill settling in liyue. 
you stare grimly at the seagulls soaring in the cloudy sky, and peers down at your feet planted firmly on the ground. a frown tugs on your lips and you sigh. a warm hand caresses your cheek and you look towards zhongli smiling gently in your direction. wiping away the tears that are beginning to moist your eyes, he encages you in a comforting hug. 
“don’t hold it in,” zhongli whispers soothingly in your ear, “you’re allowed to cry if you want. i promise you, there’s no judgement.” 
albedo.
it’s like he has a sixth sense. you could have been crying in your sleep last night and the first thing you wake up to is all your favourite meals placed rigorously on a sliver tray and a positive message with cursive, neat handwriting scribbled on a notepad for you to read. albedo is rather considerate, like that. before you started to live together and entered a more domestic relationship, he visited your home and asked if anything was wrong in a neutral tone that belied his concern. you were shocked how he could have possibly known since you were sure you concealed the visible evidences skillfully with makeup, and you looked quite normal for the most part, as if you hadn’t been crying mere seconds before he knocked on your door. 
he shrugs indifferently and responds that he just has a feeling something’s bothering you. albedo will take a day off from his confinement in his lab so he can stay with you. he takes you by the hand and gestures for you to sit down on a nearby chair beside him, offering you delectable appetites to eat while you rant to him. once you’re finished spilling out your problems, he kisses you on the forehead and tells you that you did a good job. it isn’t easy to admit you’re not mentally well, in which he praises you for. 
hugging your legs to your chest, you quietly ask him if it’s not a bother. firmly, albedo shakes his head and squeezes your hand reassuringly. “no, you’re never a bother.” he scoops up a spoonful of ice cream and feeds you the cool dessert. once you swallow, his lips curve into a little smirk as he wipes away the excess on the side of your mouth with a finger and licks the cream off with his tongue. 
“whether you’re happy, sad, or disappointed, my love for you will never change.” 
xiao.
he’s not very good at handling these types of situations. xiao can never know what he’s supposed to say or do to make you feel better, so he just stands there awkwardly. please don’t blame him! he’s already terrible at consoling himself that having to cheer someone else up seems more like an impossible challenge than a simple task. however, like albedo, he can also sense if you’re depressed or in need of saving. what do you mortals call it, an instinct? 
he asks verr for advice on what to do to help, and she suggests for him to stick by your side and show that he cares deeply about you. it takes xiao a while to come up with a suitable plan. he wanders up to the highest floor of wangshu inn and reminisces over the past. your first meeting with him, the time when you gave him almond tofu, and when you both fought together to protect liyue - he’s memorized it all down to the last detail. suddenly, an idea clicks into place and he teleports immediately to where you are. sitting on a bench alone, while you absentmindedly watch the birds peck at the crumbs scattered on the cement floor, it takes you by surprise when you find xiao hovering above you. he reaches out his hand and composedly asks if you would be willing to accompany him for the night. 
when you encounter him at the location where you agreed to meet, you curiously question xiao what he wants to do, but he doesn’t reply. instead, he scoops you up in his arms, a surprised expression on your face as you wrap your arms around his neck so you don’t end up falling. before you know it, both of you are... soaring in the air? your eyes subconsciously drift to his vision glowing brightly in the murky night. so he’s using his anemo abilities to create wind currents and literally sweep you off your feet. 
“do you see this place?” he gestures with his head for you to look at liyue harbor. the city lights glow in the darkness and most people are walking back home, idly chatting with each other and giggling. “it wouldn’t be as peaceful as it is now if it weren’t for you. so if you ever feel sad again, know that it’s you who puts a smile on everyone’s faces - including mine.” 
and with that, xiao smiles serenely at you, to which you finally offer a grin of your own. 
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yoongsisbae · 3 years
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Bon Voyage: Into the Sea - Chapter 3
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BTS fantasy AU. OT7 x reader. werewolf!Namjoon x werewolf!Hoseok x werewolf!Jungkook x siren!Yoongi x vampire!Jimin x vampire!Jin x whatis?Taehyung. This is the "vampire chapter" :'D
Thank you for all the love on this random nightmarish story lol. This extra update is for all the readers who made it my most popular post! Thank you! <3 Also this is my contribution to the start of the spooky season :D
Warnings: Hi, remember when I said this was horror? This chapter in particular is pretty horrific, you have been warned! blood, fighting between m/w, blood, graphic violence, blood, imprisonment, blood, blood, blood, minor character death, vampires doing vampire things including noncon blood drinking, human imprisonment, mind manipulation, stockholm syndrome, dubious consent, slut shaming, anal, degradation, foursome, orgasm control, orgasm denial, what a ride, you must be over 18 to ride this ride, scary scary scary
Word Count: 22k
---
“Scared, y/n?” Jimin’s face sends you a wicked smile.
You look back and forth between the men, uttering an unconvincing “No.”
Seokjin speaks again, “You should be.”
---
‘So did you get the answers you are looking for?’ You sit up, jolted out of your sleep, Hoseok’s words echoed softly in your mind.
Seokjin moved so fast, his striking face in front of you in an instant, his red eyes centimeters from yours, delicate lips curving into a smile over his fangs as water splayed around where he stood. That was the last thing you remember.
He smiled down at you sweetly and held you by the neck, putting pressure on your vein until you passed out. It all happened so fast your scream remained halted until this moment. The response came out of you abruptly, as fleeting as the memory.
And now where the hell were you? It looked like the room of an old bed and breakfast; large bed, writing desk, love seat, high windows; but to your captors the breakfast on the menu was you.
The first thing you notice is how the curtains are drawn together blocking the sunlight, but you know it’s there, just out of reach, as evidenced by the small line of light that trails its top edge. The room you found yourself in was dark, from the wallpaper to the furniture, the stillness unsettling, you listened as your own rapid breathing filled the silence.
You were seated right in the middle of a king size bed. They left you atop the cleanly-made white bed sheets, a treat placed in the center of a platter. You shiver, your clothes still remained damp from the night before, cold and stuck to your skin. That is why you shiver, you tell yourself, because you don’t hear them, but you feel them...watching you...
You build up enough courage to scan the room, and that’s when you see two pairs of red orbs staring back at you from the corners’ shadows, glowing in the darkness. Eyes of beasts, watching you, studying you.
You try not to react, not show your captors how scared you are, but every mechanism in your body betrays you, and the pair immediately pick up on your rapidly beating heart, the sweat on your brows, your unsteady breathing-
“Good morning, y/n,” Seokjin says, walking out of the shadows. Jimin stays hidden, but you can hear his soft laughter.
Those answers you wanted, where are they?
Seokjin slowly moves to the edge of the bed. “It seems like our friends have taken quite an interest with you and I want to find out why. Is that okay?”
You purse your lips, keeping your eyes trained on the thin strip of light showing at the top of the window curtains. You sit in silence. Has your breathing always been this loud? The shaking of Seokjin’s legs, a sign of his growing impatience, rattles the bed and your resolve.
He clasps his hands together, finally saying “If you don’t want to speak to me,” he leans in slightly and whispers the rest, “I can always let Jimin pry information out of you, but I don’t think you’d appreciate that very much.”
The pounding of your heart and the uneasiness in the pit of your stomach makes you feel like you’re going to become sick at any minute, but you manage to form a coherent sentence to ask him, “What do you want to know?”
“First, I want your permission to find out,” he speaks softly, placing a gentle hand on your calf, but you flinch away anyways. That’s a loaded question if you ever heard one. You wonder if it’s all an act, the same way Jimin fooled you. You stay silent.
Seokjin sighs again, looking over his shoulder, “Jimin?”
“No!” you yell. “Not Jimin! You...you, okay I give you permission.”
“Thank you, y/n.” He smiles, “I’ll be gentle.”
You yelp. Seokjin’s cold hand travels down your leg, wraps around your ankle and pulls you down the bed closer to his body, and in an instant his lean frame is hovering over yours. This close, his beauty is intimidating alone, but his eyes feel like they are piercing through you, digging inside, seeing all the ugly secrets you try to hide from even yourself, you feel like you could catch fire the way his gaze burns you.
He holds you down loosely by the neck, fingers searching for a pulsing vein, eyes focused on you with the concentration of a doctor performing surgery. Seokjin wipes away the tears that begin spilling from your eyes and smirks, “Don’t cry Dove, I promise this time will be the least pain you’ll experience from now on.” His words are devoid of any real sympathy, a false comfort, a looming warning.
You consider fighting back, but in this position there is no way you would be able to reach for your dagger (hidden away in a secret pocket in the front of your corset) without Seokjin stopping you, and even if you were lucky enough, there’s still Jimin, waiting in the shadows.
So you choose to wait, and try to find comfort in Seokjin’s twisted words. It could be worse. A tiny voice inside you reminds you it will become worse. You’ll just have to escape before then. You take a deep steadying breath, preparing yourself.
Don’t cry.
Seokjin’s lips latch onto your neck, soft and full as he rolls his tongue harshly over your pulse point. Goosebumps bloom across your body, and you try to focus on the sunlight rather than the vampire above you and his overwhelming aura, that sliver of light that you pray won’t dim.
This could be worse. This could be more painful. This could be Jimin.
Seokjin can feel the jumping of your pulse against his tongue. The vampire wants to know your story, what is it about you that riled Jimin up more than he’s ever seen him. But with your sweet scent enveloping him and the cocktail of emotions Seokjin’s keen senses could smell: fear and anger and mounting arousal, you smelled better to him than the finest wine and he can’t stop himself from teasing you a little longer, drink it in just a bit more and savor the moment.
Seokjin still understood the importance of ‘living’ in the present, he enjoyed taking his time with things. Others would have gone mad by now with the infinite amount of time, but not Seokjin, he used it to his advantage. Your warm body, your addicting smell, the softness and saltiness of your skin, the shifts in your breathing, Seokjin took his time to savor the gifts of life that he still missed.
You try not to react to his sensual touches, tensing your body under him, until you feel two sharp pricks on the surface of your skin. Your reaction is involuntary, you grip the bedsheets with your fists and let out a soft cry, moving against him. His bite hurt for only a second, like a pin prick, but Seokjin in his precision had nicked an artery for optimum bloodshed. With each gasp of breath you take, with each pounding beat of your heart, you feel your blood drain as it escapes the punctures in your neck and into Seokjin’s waiting mouth.
Seokjin groans against your skin, sending fire through your veins, pressing himself harder into your body. The vampire is better at keeping his physical responses to blood drinking at bay than Jimin, but he hasn’t had a new taste in awhile, and you’re so responsive.
When he pulls away from you you reach to cover your neck and stop the blood, a reflex in an attempt to save your own life, but Seokjin grabs your wrists before you can, pinning you to the bed, studying, his red gaze challenging you.
You gasp as the blood rushes out down your neck, over the sheets, seeping into your clothes. ‘They’ll underestimate you...’ Yoongi’s words replay in your mind and you stay still. No matter how much you want to fight back, this time you have to be smarter, you have to believe in Yoongi’s words.
Jimin has stayed quiet for this long, staying in the shadows, but your whimpers and grunts of pain are music to Jimin’s ears, the blood pouring from your body like an offering to him. His groans can be heard from the shadows.
He holds himself back for now, waiting for his turn. Jimin wonders where all that fight went, he had expected a show, for you to thrash away from the older vampire like you did the merman. He can’t help but feel a little disappointed. When it’s his turn, he thinks, you’ll become more entertaining then.
You watched in silence as Seokjin licked his lips clean of your blood. The red liquid that he had stolen from you, that was now steadily seeping from your wound and covering the white bedsheets underneath you, like a Rorschach picture mapping your life. “You’re strong,” he grins, speaking too tenderly for the brutality he was inflicting. “Stop fighting and it will end sooner, y/n. Let me into your mind.”
What does that even mean?! In your blood loss the tips of your fingers begin to feel cold like your captor’s, your head pounds and your vision blurs with each passing moment as the blood drains from your artery, you don’t want to give in, but if it will end this torture...
You shut your eyes tightly, and turn your head to expose your bleeding neck further to the monster above you. When Seokjin lowers his lips to your neck, you try to think of sweet Jungkook instead, his warm body instead of Seokjin’s cold one. You didn’t dare wish to be with him again, you didn’t dare think you made a mistake, that you should have stayed. Now all you can do is hope you can save him and yourself from this horrible island. Jungkook doesn’t deserve to be imprisoned with the likes of them.
Seokjin drinks the warm liquid pouring from your throat. You listen to him gulping down your blood, How much longer, until he finds what he’s looking for? You feel your fight escape you with each swallow, you feel yourself slipping away. It reminds you of drowning, it reminds you of Yoongi and how he kissed life into you instead, but this was the kiss of death.
‘Yoongi,’ you close your eyes and think of him. And then you felt it, the pull inside your mind. Your current circumstance falls away in shambles, your memories are pulled out of you through the cracks, the images race through your mind as Seokjin bears witness to it all.
---
Yoongi sits at the table, hair and clothes dry, turning his head to see you awake.
The relief that softens his features as he’s walking to your side.
The delicate way he places the hairpiece back in its place.
The way his eyes melt at your words.
Why hadn’t you seen it before? Seokjin saw it all. The way Yoongi screams at you, the rage and embarrassment in his eyes as he tells you how much he can’t stand you, the way he licks his lips when you yell back. His eyes studying you when you yank him closer, full of anger and full of-
You weakly push against Seokjin, you don’t want to remember, you don’t want to miss him. You can’t stop it, you can’t stop the memories flooding through your system.
You suddenly remember Jungkook’s sparkling round eyes watching you, wanting you, the crinkle of his nose when he laughs, the pink flush on the edges of his ears when you talk to him, the muscles of his arms flexing as he cages you under him, his deep groaning in your ear, the vein in his neck when he pushes into your wet heat, the truth in his voice when he says he’ll protect you.
You feel Seokjin’s hands travel down your body the same way you remembered Jungkook. You curse him in your mind, but your body couldn’t tell the difference, your stomach tightens and you’re no longer cold, warmth spreads over you to the tips of your toes.
You want to scream, scream for Jungkook, but you’re frozen, lost in your own thoughts, confused by your senses. Jungkook feels as real as Seokjin, but you know he’s not really there, no matter how much you wanted it to be true.
You remember Hoseok’s harsh looks, the growing anger in his eyes, the hurt in his eyes, the pain in his eyes, the pain still present in his eyes even in his wolf form when he howls and cries at you. He’s begging you to stay, he’s telling you he can’t bear to lose someone again. How could you leave them? Why can’t they be enough for you? Hoseok will treat you better, if you just stay with him, please. You understand his barks and howls now, because Seokjin understands. Tears well up in your eyes and you try to move away, but Seokjin is too solid, too powerful, and unyielding in his search.
Namjoon’s eyes are on you as you eat next to his brothers at dinner, filled with nothing but warmth and happiness. Those brown eyes, you miss them. You feel dizzy and helpless, you can’t take it anymore. You grab a fistful of Seokjin’s hair to try to pull him off of you.
“What have you done to Jimin? What have you done?!” Namjoon’s voice roars in your memory. But it’s not any memory you remember having. Before you realize what you are doing, your hands hold on tightly to Seokjin’s hair, pulling him closer and holding him to you so you can see more.
---
“It-It wasn’t me...” The tall vampire is covered in blood. Some of it is Jimin’s blood, yes, but the majority of blood that drips down his face and hands, that covers his clothes, belongs to five other men. Dead men. Men who beat the broken man in his arms to the brink of death.
Seokjin found his dear friend screaming in pain. He saw them over Jimin’s bleeding body, blood Seokjin treasured just as much as he treasured his bond with the compassionate and playful man. His friend, Jimin, who wailed for Seokin, for Namjoon, for Hoseok, for Taehyung, for anyone to help him, while his bones cracked, lying in the dirt, choking on his own blood, precious blood.
Seokjin explained to Namjoon when he saw them laughing, like hyenas over a carcass, spitting hateful slurs down at Jimin, he couldn’t control himself. Seokjin tore them apart one by one. He chased each one down like the pathetic animals they were, and tore the limbs that touched his dear friend straight from their bodies.
Seokjin had been weak, he had become too accustomed to the harmonious life he and Namjoon had created for themselves. Had it been decades before, he would have endured, but living with the pack had softened him too much and he couldn’t stand the pain of losing Jimin, so when he found a weak pulse he gave Jimin as much of his venomous blood as he could.
Namjoon simply nods at the information, his weary eyes examining his two friends, friends who were like family to him. He didn’t want to lose Jimin either. “We need to take him somewhere safe...to the island, before he wakes up,” Namjoon places a hand on the trembling vampire’s shoulder.
“What if he doesn’t wake up?” the vampire’s voice shakes, he notices the cuts on Jimin’s face and body have yet to heal themselves.
“That’s not something you should be worried about,” Namjoon runs his hand through Jimin’s tangled hair, gently placing the dark strands back into place, his eyes filling with tears, “it’s when he wakes up, we need to make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone.”
Seokjin nods weakly.
“Go now. I’ll clean up the mess, brother.”
Your hands fall, the blood loss making you too weak to grip onto Seokjin’s hair. Seokjin had taken more blood than he intended, lost in his own memories.
The vampire pulls away from you, even as the edges of your vision blurs, you see his eyes, glowing red and glassy with unshed tears, staring at you with a mixture of pain and surprise. He shakes away his bewilderment and rips into the flesh of his wrist, placing the cut across your lips as you can no longer hold consciousness.
---
When you wake again it’s night time, the light behind the curtains has left you.
Your body aches. You run your fingers along your neck, searching for the punctures, and you can only feel smooth skin crusted in dried blood. Your head feels like it’s splitting. You groan in pain.
You see Jimin before you hear him, and even then you’re not sure if your brain created the sounds to ease your mind as he stalks closer to your waking form.
“Finally! Now what could you have possibly done to Jin?” Jimin says, contemplating the reason his friend holed himself up in his office, refusing to speak to Jimin or even look at him.
He jumps on the bed, shaking your already pounding head. “He refuses to let me bite you,” he whines, “Explain now, pet.” Jimin prods you with his foot. “Explain what memory of yours Seokjin pulled.”
You just groan back, turning away from Jimin, burying your head into the cold pillows of your bed, one of the few things not soaked in your blood. Everything is so cold you can’t stand it. Jimin places a hand on your shoulder to make you face him. Cold fingers touch your skin, everything is cold.
“Don’t touch me!” you pull away from him, yelling.
Your face stings. Jimin had slapped you hard, you come to the realization only after the fact, the skin he touched burns hot. It makes you laugh, because you wanted warmth, didn’t you?
Jimin’s eyes narrow on you, “Say that again, I dare you.”
You bite back tears and ask, “What the fuck happened to you?!”
“So you’re back to being a disrespectful brat. You’re not on the same level as me, human. Learn to behave.”
“No! What happened to you to make you so heartless? What changed you?” How did the bleeding man you saw Namjoon cry over in Seokjin’s memories become this monster? He was human at one point too, you wouldn’t have believed it if you didn’t see it for yourself.
Jimin rolls his eyes, “Don’t act like you know anything about me, bitch.”
You take a deep breath trying to calm your temper. Not only had you seen Seokjin’s memories, you had felt his emotions. His pain lingers in you still, beside the fear and hatred you feel, you look at Jimin and feel...sorry for him. You have to look down, the emotions are too much and too overwhelming. It was easier when all you knew was the monster before you. Jimin takes your silence as obedience instead.
“Now can you be a good little pet and answer my question,” he says, tapping you on the head hard enough to make your headache roar back to life. You flinch and search the eyes of the man before you. Or rather the shell of a man, you think bitterly.
And what a beautiful shell it is. Jimin is stunning, bright white hair pulled away and styled so you can see the delicate features of his face. He holds himself gracefully, like a dancer, his elegant figure hiding his true strength. You wonder what he was like before turning into a monster, what kind of man was he? Someone whom Namjoon cared for.
“It wasn’t my memory...you. I saw you…” You whisper, knowing Jimin’s sharp senses can hear you loud and clear, “I saw Seokjin turn you.” Silence falls over the room again, a silence so deafening you start to hear the pounding in your head becoming louder.
The vampire stares at you, soft features stoic. He looked lost in thought, you pictured his face full of cuts, bloody lip, black eye, human, and Seokjin so unsure, scared, worried, trembling, so unlike themselves now.
“How did he turn me?” It surprised you how genuine Jimin’s question sounded. Did he really not know?
You keep your mouth shut, you don’t think it would be wise on your part to tell him. Jimin seems like the type to shoot the messenger. Unfortunately, unlike Seokjin, Jimin had little to no patience. His expression changes like lightning, full of anger. He pulls you by the hair dragging you off the bed and onto the floor.
The vampire crouches over you and grabs your face, holding you down to the wood floor, pressing his sharp nails into the skin of your cheeks making you yell.
“Ahh there’s your voice! Tell me.”
“Why don’t you ask Seokjin?!”
“But I rather you just do as I say,” he says playfully, as his fingers dig harder into your skin, cutting the flesh and drawing blood.
“Why don’t you just bite me, then?!” You spit the words out through clenched teeth.
You watch the vampire lick his lower bottom lip, thinking it over briefly as he pulls your face closer to his, you struggle against his painful grip. “How impetuous...” he watches you squirm like an insect stuck in glue. “You’re rather dumb, aren’t you?”
Should you reach for your dagger now? Should you try to kill Jimin?
Every time you thought about hurting him, you remembered Seokjin’s crying face, and you wanted to cry as well, what was happening to you?
“Jimin, leave us.” Jin stands in the doorway to your room.
Jimin stands up in a huff, letting you go. You fall back onto the hardwood floor. He balances on his heels, ignoring you and scrutinizing Seokjin. He wanted to question the older vampire, he has so many questions now, but decides against it. What does it matter anyways? The idea of being a weak and powerless human revolts him. “I’m getting impatient,” he says before he leaves, slamming the door and making you jump.
“T-thank y-you.” You try to calm your breathing.
Seokjin looks at you with a frown, extending his hand out to you. You hesitate and place your hand in his and he easily lifts you to your feet. You watch the older vampire walk slowly around the room, drawing his fingers along the furniture he passes. You stand awkwardly, you don’t think making a run for it would gain you any favors right now.
“I’m hungry,” Seokjin says. He doesn’t even look at you when he says it, continuing to meander around the room, waiting for your response.
You clench your jaw. So this is what you’ve been reduced to, you think, a late night snack. “Are you going to just keep me trapped in this room? I’m hungry too, I haven’t eaten anything-”
“Dinner's already passed. Before I let you go roaming around, I need to make sure you’re going to behave yourself, do you understand?”
No, you don’t understand at all. It sounds like he’s going to starve you into subservience, and you have to get out of this room, you have to find the portal.
“I will do as you say...please...” you walk over to where he’s standing, trying your best to seem meek. “I’m starving,” you reason, “I’m sure you know how it feels to hunger for something” you say, turning your head to stare at the windows, curtains now open to the night sky, extending your neck to the vampire. His eyes are pulled to your attention, following the lines of your shoulder. You roll your neck, loosening the stiff muscles, moving close enough to him that your chest bumps into his. You look up into Seokjin’s eyes through your lashes, “I-I will behave.”
Seokjin smiles, bringing his head down into the curve of your neck, lips skirting across the skin. Your fingers reach up to caress the back of his head. You can see the pair of you in the bedroom mirror. Another myth proven wrong, you think, as you study your seduction, how his lean frame bends closer to yours, his arms wrapping around the lower part of your back.
In truth, Seokjin wasn’t hungry. He had taken more than enough blood from you this morning already, but Seokjin wanted to see if lightning could strike twice. Never had the pull been so strong for him that a human had been able to enter his memories, not even when Jimin was alive. He needed to learn more.
Seokjin licks your face, tongue tracing the cuts Jimin’s nails left behind. You hold your breath, trying to act like you enjoyed it. You hated it, you wished you could stick Yoongi’s dagger into Seokjin’s cold dead heart and be done with it already.
Seokjin trails kisses back to the place he bit you before. He keeps kissing your sensitive skin until his lips reach your ear and he whispers, “I’m not Jungkook, little Dove, you’ll have to do better than that.”
You stumble backwards but it’s too late, Seokjin already has you in his clutches.
He pulls you into a tight embrace, walking you backward even more. His bite is precise, you suspect perfectly precise to where he bit you this morning. Your arms are locked tightly in between your bodies as he holds you to him.
Thunder roars in your memory, you feel yourself drowning. Your muscles ached, your lungs burned. You feel Yoongi’s hand on your ankle, pulling down, hand on your waist, pulling down, hand on your neck, pulling you closer, his lips on your lips-
You cry and yell against Seokjin’s grasp. Cold turns to warmth as you see Namjoon, Jungkook, and Hoseok laughing around the firepit, and Seokjin, and Jimin, laughing too. Yoongi sits with a calm expression on his face, his lips curved upward, and a man you don’t recognize sits next to him-
Seokjin yanks his mouth away from you and you fall backward, back hitting the bed while you struggle to breath. You cover the holes on your neck with your palm to stop the rushing blood.
“How?” is all Seokjin can say, shaken by the happy memory that even he had forgotten about.
You stare up at the high ceiling dazed and too weak to move, “Do I...” you can feel the blood spill between the gaps of your fingers, “look...” you gasp, “like a vampire expert...to you?”
Seokjin moves to the window, his back to you. He watches the waning moon and lets his mind wander to his old friends. If they were off the island, he could see a scenario where you and he would meet at a bar, laugh over drinks, but the ending would always be the same. “You look,” he looks over his shoulder at you, “like you could use a drink,” his lips curving into a half smile.
“Are you,” you gasp, “offering?”
He walks over to you slowly, bringing his wrist to his mouth, and then extends the sliced skin to your mouth, waiting expectantly.
You take his offering bitterly, gulping down the metallic liquid, the wounds burn like fire as they heal over. The pain is nothing like you’ve ever experienced before. You shut your eyes tightly, you want to cry, or scream, but like Namjoon said, no one can help you here. You feel fingers intertwine with your bloody fingers, pulling your bloodied hand away as you weakly protest. The room spins, even if your wounds are healed, your blood is still gone and you’re feeling the effects of two feedings.
Seokjin brings your hand to his lips and licks away the blood, tongue circling your fingers. “This can hurt or it can feel good,” he says slowly.
You laugh, delirious from hunger and blood loss. “I wonder, that memory,” you gasp, still laughing, “does it bother you to be reminded of your humanity? Does it hurt you?”
You probably shouldn’t have said that, but the blood loss is doing funny things to you, or maybe you just really wanted to get a reaction from the guarded man, no, guarded vampire.
If your accusation angered Seokjin he didn’t show it with any emotion, instead he sighed and bent over you, biting down hard on your shoulder. The searing pain makes you scream. You cry out, not expecting the sharp and throbbing kind of ache from his bite as Seokjin’s teeth stayed deep in your flesh.
Seokjin pulls another memory out of you, and you curse your luck in remembering Jungkook again, remembering his tanned and muscled body next to yours. Jungkook kissing your knuckles and telling you how he’s yours now. Jungkook kissing down your body. His head between your legs, his mouth feverishly licking at your folds. The more you try not to think about him the stronger the memories feel. The pain in your shoulder dulls as your legs tighten around the vampire's sides.
Perhaps it was your bloodloss mixed with Seokjin’s bloodlust seeping into your consciousness, the memory of Jungkook’s length buried deep inside you and feeling of Seokjin’s growing bulge pressed against your stomach makes your head spin and you just want to feel more. You hear Namjoon’s deep authoritative voice whispering dirty things in your ear, it makes you shudder, a moan escapes your throat-
Seokjin pulls away from you abruptly at that, his eyes are deep red, so dark they look black. He watches as your body twitch in pain, as he focuses on calming the storm of human emotions, your emotions, running through him, as he tries to forget the compromising memory of his old friend. He bites down on his bottom lip until he draws blood, his blood mixing with your own blood in his mouth, and he presses his lips on yours.
You realized how passionate Yoongi’s kisses were compared to Seokjin’s. The merman was distant, but his actions were full of feeling, whether they be good or bad. Seokjin was cold in body and mind, a hard shell, you felt like you were kissing a statue as you choked on his blood, the liquid metallic and sweet.
You can feel the punctures in your skin closing, it hurts so much worse than when he bit you, you distract yourself by licking into his mouth, feeling his tongue against yours.
Seokjin jumps off of you the second your wounds are healed and leaves without saying a word. You can hear the door lock in your daze.
You scoff, what was up with him, you wonder, dining and dashing like that. The blood loss has you quickly falling asleep despite wanting to use the time alone to plan your escape.
---
They both leave you alone all day until night again. You wake up hungry and weak. When Seokjin wordlessly stalks towards you that night you tell him so.
“I still can’t trust you to play well with others.”
“I need food! I need to eat! I am not a goddamn vampire like you! I can’t survive off your blood!” You throw your pillow at him. Should you have done that? Probably not, but you’re too hungry to care.
Seokjin pauses, looks at the floor where the pillow lays at his feet after coming in contact with his chest. “I’ll bring you food later tonight, now lie down, I’m hungry too.”
Ugh.
---
There were so very little things now that intrigued Seokjin, and this connection had become a mystery he wanted to solve. The strength of his pull on you was so intense it had become almost addicting to feel for Seokjin.
A vampire's pull had always been one-sided, but this pull acted like a wave, crashing onto the shore of your consciousness, pulling back and forth, dragging his memories along the current too.
Promised food, you comply, lying down against your better judgement. You glare at him as he lies next to you, and he smooths your furrowed features with his fingers instead of matching your anger. It makes you feel self conscious, the way he watches you with searching eyes. “Well? What are you waiting for?”
“So demanding, do you want me to bite you that badly?”
Is he teasing you? “No. I don’t. At all!”
“Okay then.” he lies back down, his arms underneath his head.
You sit up to look down at him. “Is this a joke?”
“I’ll wait, I don’t mind. I can wait for days, the question is can you?”
If you tried to stab him now he would definitely be able to stop you. Too bad. “I think I can’t stand you.”
“You barely know me!”
“I’ve seen enough,” you scoff.
“I’ve lived a long time,” Seokjin says, serious again, “you don’t care to see more? Who I really am?”
“Who are you?”
“Let me bite you and find out,” he winks.
'Well, he seems to be in a better mood,' you think. You wonder why he is even bothering to ask you, you’re his prisoner, after all. “So this is not just about feeding anymore?”
“I’m a vampire, of course it is.”
You sigh, you’re hungry and tired from blood loss. “Okay, bite me, but choose some place else,” you rub the sensitive spot on your neck and shiver. “NOT THERE!”
Seokjin stops pushing your legs open. “But there is an artery in your leg-”
Your face goes hot, you shove your wrist in his face. “Here then!” He sighs and lies back down again, pulling you over his body easily. You sit awkwardly against his lap as you watch his fangs prick your inner wrist. The blood loss this time wasn’t so bad, but it still made your weak body sway, your free hand bracing yourself against his chest.
He does the same thing to you again, pulls memories of your life. You saw memories from before the boat wreck to your childhood, and you saw glimpses of Seokjin’s life as well. You learned at one point in his very long life he stopped being a complete monster and became a part time bartender.
For decades he moved from taverns, to pubs, to bars. The perfect career, and as his beautiful looks were admired everywhere he went, he was never short of meal options. You woke in the morning and you laid on clean sheets, there was water for you and bread and butter and jam, an apricot and an apple, food not found on an island. The portal.
Tonight. This night you will be ready for Seokjin. You quickly realized you weren’t just remembering with Seokjin, you were feeling, and he was feeling too. If you could distract him well enough with a memory, you think you’d be able to escape!
---
Tonight Jimin walks into your room instead.
“Where’s Seokjin?”
“You didn’t miss me?” He holds a pear in his hand, throwing it up in the air and catching it easily. “He is busy, the others were feeling neglected by him-”
“There are others? Other humans?!”
Jimin smirks at your wide eyes. “Yes, pet, did you think you were special?” You swallow, keeping your questions to yourself. So Seokjin really meant it when he talked about playing well with others. Who were they and how long have they been here? Could some of them be your friends? Maybe you weren’t the only survivor on your boat! More humans, more people to help you fight against Seokjin and Jimin, if you could just meet them and somehow convince them...
Jimin heard your accelerating heartbeat, could see the happiness dance across your features. “What ever you are thinking, I suggest against it. Actually, go ahead and try, I haven’t punished anyone in so long.”
“Are you going to bite me or not?”
“Oh, so now you’re eager for it, it’s always the same.”
“Still not allowed, huh? Must suck to be you. Ha! Get it?”
“Do you think you’re being cute? Jin said I can’t bite you, he didn’t say anything about not hurting you.” Jimin throws the pear in the air again, “What? No clever retort?”
“I don’t know about Seokjin,” you speak softly, “but you used to be human, why do you act like this?” You watch as Jimin drops the pear on the ground and steps on the fruit with his feet. You bite your lip. What a waste. You consider pulling out your dagger just for that.
“Being human?” Jimin runs a hand through his hair, “I don’t remember anything about that. I can’t imagine being so weak and foolish.”
“You really don’t remember?” You look at the pear, squished into a pulp. “Can you do what Seokjin does, with the memories?”
“What makes you think I want to learn about your pathetic life?”
“No,” You idiot. You sigh. “But maybe you want to learn about your pathetic life?”
You scream, Jimin’s nails were digging into your skull, a handful of your hair in his fists. “Call me pathetic again,” he threatens lowly.
“Pathetic,” you say bearing your teeth. Jimin smiles, because in that moment you reminded him of someone. He’s going to enjoy breaking the bones of your body and watching your limbs reassemble again. He grabs your forearm, pulling your arm closer to your face. You wince as his grip tightens, struggling against his tight hold on your hair. “Call me pathetic again,” he sings, his eyes sparkling with delight.
You weigh your options in that moment.
“Seokjin!” you scream.
Jimin laughs, tightening his grip even more so you are sure to have bruises, “Do you think he really cares about what happens to you?”
“Jimin was a regular at your bar! Wasn’t he?!” You had seen the younger vampire, only briefly, you barely recognized him with dark hair, but you knew it was Jimin the way you felt your own heart soar when Seokjin glanced at him for the first time.
You screamed louder than you’ve ever heard yourself, making the vampire wince at your volume, because in that moment Jimin snapped the bone in your forearm. “Even if you don’t remember,” you cry, mumbling out the words through your pain, “you were human. Just. Like. Me.”
Jimin grabs your upper arm this time, and squirm in his hold. You start to cry harder despite trying to hold the tears in. The door to your room slams open. Seokjin looks furious when he steps towards the both of you.
“Jimin leave!"
“What?” The white haired vampire loosens his grip, but stands his ground. Seokjin doesn’t speak again, only gives him a look, and Jimin relents, breaking his stare with several blinks and releasing you. The younger vampire can’t hide his emotions as well as Seokjin and you see the hurt twist his beautiful features.
You sit on the ground grimacing in pain, holding your broken arm to your chest. Outside your room you hear the familiar crash of glass and scrape of wood and you suspect Jimin is not taking Seokjin’s orders well. Seokjin looks much more unhinged than you ever recall seeing him and then impassiveness washes over his face again, much to your disappointment.
“He is usually not like this. He can go months without drinking blood, it seems my ban has just made him all the more obsessed with you,” he sighs.
“Greeat,” you wince, “Lift the ban then, might as well.” If you were being honest with yourself, you were curious what would happen if Jimin bit you. Maybe then he wouldn’t despise you so much.
“The ban is not to protect you, naive little dove.” He sits down on the floor next to you. You find the sight comical, Seokjin in an expensive suit sitting on the dusty floor.
You roll your eyes. Of course. “You care a lot about him,” you whisper softly. He nods. You turn to him, “Do you remember why you started caring? Do you think who he is now still acts in the same way that made you care so much for him?”
“You think I’m a fool?” he laughs softly, “I know Jimin’s...lost his way...” You sit in silence as you struggle to take your mind off the pain in your arm. “For us, time, is infinite. This is only a small stretch of time compared to what I’ve been through. Jimin will come back around, I know it.”
“Well I think he’s a lost cause,” you mumble.
“He’s not, no one is...This is going to hurt a lot, if you don’t mind, I can make it quick.” His hand traces your jaw and turns your head to face him, eyes glancing towards your lips.
“Am I going to have to get used to this, you fixing the pain he causes-”
“Am I going to have to get used to you both provoking each other all the time?”
You bite your lip, he started it, it’s not your fault he freaks out over every little thing you say. You change the subject. “Are there really other prisoners here? Other humans like me?”
Seokjin tuts disapprovingly, “House guests, y/n! They can stop being in service to us whenever they want, we provide them all with a choice.”
“Oh, and what are the options, be your personal feeding supply or die?”
“Ahh see, you catch on quickly, and Jimin calls you stupid.”
Your eyes narrow on him, “Not much of a choice there.”
Seokjin leans into you, “it comforts them, when they think they have some control. You know, you would all be at the bottom of the ocean if it weren’t for us.”
You pull your legs closer to your body, it’s hard to look at him, much less listen to the disturbing things he says, “Why are you telling me this? Am I supposed to be grateful?” You shuffle your body, trying to get comfortable despite the throbbing pain of your broken arm.
“Perhaps,” he scrutinizes your body, “At least don’t provoke Jimin. Ready?”
You hum, “Yeah, I’m ready for my medicine, Doctor.”
He looks down, nodding. “No anesthesia for this surgery I’m afraid.”
He motions you closer, bites into his wrist and fills his mouth with his own blood. You’re careful not to jostle your arm too much as you move in front of him. His long fingers hold your head still as he presses his mouth onto yours, feeding you his blood. Even when you scream in pain he holds you to him as your bone readjusts itself and heals back together, your body in excruciating agony. He holds you tightly, his mouth swallowing your screams until the process is complete, until you pass out in his arms.
---
You wake up to clanging silver. The light feels warm on your face, and then you feel nothing as the curtains are drawn. You open your eyes, ready to protest.
“Oh my god!”
The woman before you jumps at your words. “Your breakfast,” she motions to the tray.
“You're real, oh my god, it’s true! Help me! Please, we can escape together!” The woman stumbles away from you as you desperately try to hold on to her.
“What?” Why is she looking at you like that? Why is she acting like that?! She pushes you away as she opens the door. You’re too stunned, too hurt by this stranger who you thought could help you to question her when she says, “There is no escape.” She closes the door, locking you inside. What just happened?!
Now that you’re alone again you search the room from top to bottom, desperate now that you’ve realized you’re up against so much more. All the drawers are empty, not even a pen and paper in the desk. The window opens but that doesn’t help you because you’re several floors up. The bathroom has running water and the prettiest bathtub you’ve ever seen, so you give up and spend the day soaking yourself, in your clothes. The dress floating and surrounding you reminded you of a certain man, well, merman. No one visits you that night.
The day repeats itself six times. You try different approaches to try and convince the older woman to help you and every time she refuses or ignores you completely.
You don’t get it, you don’t understand, and her behavior disturbs you. You had asked her, “Don’t you want to see your friends and family again?! Do you have children? Or a spouse?” Her answer was, “I don’t think so.”
‘I don’t think so.’ She couldn’t tell you how long she’d been here either. The implication scared you.
You sit at the door, your ear to the wood all day. Sometimes you’ll hear footsteps, you know it’s not Jimin or Seokjin, because they don’t make any noise when they walk. Sometimes you yell and bang on the door waiting for a response that never comes.
One day you yanked down the drapery, opened the window completely letting all the sunshine in, and soaked it in like a cat. Before you woke up the next morning everything had been set back the way it was. It was maddening.
So one day you flooded the bathroom, just to see if anyone would come to stop you. They didn’t and the next morning the tub was gone. You cried all night.
For six nights you’re alone. The fifth night you dig into your dress pockets to find the tiny shell Yoongi gifted you. You tap it three times and wait, holding it to your ear.
“Y/n?” His groggy voice fills the sea noise. You can’t bring yourself to speak, or you would really break down. Hearing his voice was enough.
---
Before the sun sets on the seventh night there is a knock on your door. You’re already so close to the entrance you can hear the soft click as it unlocks and you swing the door open to see Jimin.
He smiled down at you, a picture of sin. The young vampire wore casual loose-fitting clothes, shirt hanging over his shoulders. He dresses so relaxed, so opposite to Seokjin, who wore his shirts buttoned up to the collar. All you wanted to do all day was talk to someone, be heard, but with Jimin here you feel like an animal cornered in a trap, and you want to hide.
He gives you a cocky smile and drapes his arm over your shoulders, dragging you back into the room. “Look at you! Perfectly fine, Seokjin always overreacts,” he whines, “I’m tired of waiting. I can trust you not to tell on me, right pet?”
The vampire presses himself against your back and wraps his arms around your waist, locking you to him, chin digging into your shoulder. You stand frozen against him, Jimin is excellent at making sure you feel like you’re trapped and powerless when you’re around him.
His nuzzles your neck, lovingly like a lover would, inhaling your scent. You craved human contact, but this man isn’t exactly human now, is he? Your stomach turns as the familiar feeling of fear bubbles inside you.
“And if I don’t?” you whisper, and his grip tightens around you.
“You tell me, what do you think will happen, if you don’t?” he mumbles against your neck, teeth grazing your skin and he moans softly. He wrapped himself around your body, caressing your curves, it confused you at how affectionate he was being, or was he just a snake constricting his prey?
Your stomach tightens, you were stronger than this, right? A week in time out didn’t work on you, right? You couldn’t stop the sounds escaping your lips every time Jimin shifted against you. You blame Seokjin’s fondness for him that must have rubbed off on you. You try to step away but Jimin pulls you in closer.
“I thought I was a disgusting human, are you the one who missed me, Jimin?” You ask him softly.
“There are things about you that are only barely revolting, I guess.” He can feel the shift in your mood as annoyance bristles through your body, it makes him smile. You are so defiant for being so scared, it makes him want to break you even more.
You’re scared, but deep down there was a part of you too curious for your own good, that just wanted Jimin to bite you, just to see why and what Seokjin was protecting him from. It would only be to your advantage, if that was the case, right? You stretch your neck to the side slightly to see what Jimin’s reaction would be. His fingers dig into your hips. “What’s this?” Oh no.
Jimin pulls the shell hidden inside your pocket. You grab at his hands, but he’s too fast, dancing around you as he pushes you away, pushing you to the ground.
Somehow you always end up here on the floor, at Jimin’s feet, probably exactly where the vampire thinks you should be. You’ve never seen him more excited, it twists your insides.
Jimin’s cold fingers inspect the tiny shell, tutting. He mouths the words, ‘bad girl’ silently. Tapping the tiny shell, he brings the shell to his lips.
“Yoongi, I know you’re there. Do you want to hear y/n?” He crouches next to you, lifts your chin so your eyes meet his, smiling as if you were playing along on an inside joke. “Do you want to hear her cries? Do you want to hear her moans?” his sinful voice sings tauntingly.
The younger vampire promised Jin he wouldn’t touch you, but Seokjin has so many rules, and this just proved you couldn’t be trusted, that you needed to be taught a lesson. Seokjin will forgive him, Jimin thinks, he always does.
“C’mon, Yoongi wants to hear you, y/n! I bet he misses you. Let him hear your pretty voice.” You just glare at him, staying silent. Jimin didn’t seem angered by your defiance, in fact, he seemed happy.
He pulls your hair, moving your face closer to the shell, his nails dig into your scalp, and you feel them pierce your skin. The pain causes you to let out a strangled cry. “That’s it!” You hold back tears as you glare at him, Seokjin is wrong, Jimin can’t be saved.
“I’m not afraid of you anymore,” you grit out, scratching at his hand.
“Oh, no?” He releases your hair. You jump up but Jimin pulls you down to the ground again. Even as you kick and hit him, it’s obvious it’s not hurting the vampire. He easily pins you down, caging you in with his thighs, his knees pinning your arms to your sides. His fingers wrap around your neck, holding you tight as you grunt against him. You’ve become a mouse, trapped by a snake.
“Afraid yet?” You know he won’t kill you, it seems like torturing you is just too much fun for him. Jimin may be stronger than you, faster than you, but he’s as caged as you are, stuck on this island, leashed by Seokjin’s rules, acting out like a child.
“No.” He lets go and you heave in air, coughing. “Seokjin will find out, even if I don’t say anything. He said-”
“Jin,” he bares his fangs, “says a lot of things.” He brings the shell to his mouth again, “What bone should I break first?”
Jimin laughs, and you wonder what the merman said to him.
Jimin grabs your jaw, tilting your head to the side, reveling in your struggle. He places the tiny shell next to your ear. You try to silence your heavy breathing. “Yoong-g-gi?” You hear the ocean, the rumbling of the sea, and you hear-
“Y/n!” Yoongi’s voice rumbles through the tiny shell, he calls out to you, words rushed and worried, full of concern that has your heart dropping, “Jimin has a weakness, It’s T-” Jimin crushes the tiny shell between his fingers.
Jimin pouts, “I thought he would have used the opportunity to confess, now he’ll never get the chance.”
He moves away from you, “Well, aren’t you going to make a run for it? I didn’t lock the door.” He lifts his eyebrows up, nodding towards the door.
You lie on the cold hard ground stunned. Yoongi's gone. You think of a scenario where you rush towards the door, only to be stopped by Jimin as he tackles you again. No, you won’t do that. Jimin takes and takes, you're going to make it your mission to take from him. You stand up on shaky legs and walk towards Jimin.
“Actually, I rather you just bite me instead.” You’re not confident that he’d really go against Seokjin, so might as well egg him on. “Unless you’re scared of Seokjin?”
Jimin scoffs, jaw clenching in annoyance and eyes narrowing. “Any other cute little means of communication you tried to sneak in here, hmm?” He yanks you close to him again, his hands pull at your dress, wandering over your thighs, skirting dangerously close to your center. He smirks down at you as you pretend to act unaffected by the way his hands glide over your ass, kneading the flesh. His hands run up your corset, getting closer and closer to your dagger.
You run your hand over the front of his pants. It was the only thing you could think to do to distract the vampire before he found your dagger and really killed you. It worked. Jimin stops you, digs his nails into your wrist, but he doesn’t pull your hand away.
So without many other options, you send your quarrel with the vampire off into a whole other direction as you grab for the bulge in his pants. You feel the weight of him in your palm, your mouth drops a little at his size. Jimin’s jaw tightens as you rub up and down his bulge.
You’re stuck in a staring match with the vampire. Two stubborn beings, challenging each other to see who breaks first.
Surprising you, he spins you around and starts undoing the straps of your corset.
No, no, that’s the opposite of what you wanted! “What are you doing?” You try to wiggle your body to face him again, “Just fuck me already!”
Jimin cages you against his lean frame, crushing your body to the closest wall with his own. He inhales into your neck. He can sense the torrent of your spiraling emotions, he feels your hatred for him radiating off your body stronger than ever as he slows his advances down.
“You are acting more stupid than usual, pet.”
“You wanted to play,” you say, “Well, let’s play then.”
He’s never played this kind of game before, and you’ve enticed him, he has no problem calling your bluff. His hand runs along your cleavage, kneading the flesh.
Jimin pulls your dress up slowly, his cold hand running up your leg. You rest your forehead on the wall, shuddering when he drags his fingers across your center. “Your hands are cold.”
He pushes two fingers inside you, deep, you were barely ready for the stretch, crying out from the sudden intrusion and cold sensation. Jimin groans as you whimper against him, “Forget what I am already?” He licks your neck, fingers pumping in and out at a dizzying pace.
“How could I ever forget?” you whisper.
“I regret destroying that shell, I would have liked to let Yoongi listen to what a whore you are.”
Your body tenses and Jimin leans his body harder into yours, pressing another finger inside. “What would the dogs think, knowing their bitch is so wet for their enemy, hmm?” Making you angry is too easy, he thinks, and makes you smell so much better, sexier. Jimin is used to fear, he’s grown accustomed to desire, but your rage makes him ravenous. If Jimin wasn’t so consumed by his carnal desires, he might question himself as to why he wants someone to hate him so much, but all he can think about is how he’s going to drive you to madness with just his fingers. He resists the urge to bite you by sucking harshly on your neck, pulling the blood closer to your skin and leaving dark marks behind.
Before you have a chance at release he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you empty and holding up the evidence of your arousal, the clear substance clinging to his fingers as he licks them clean, moaning in your face. The sight is depraved, and you can’t look away. He smiles smugly at you as he smells your lust surround him.
“I knew you wouldn’t bite me.”
“We will get to that, we’re playing a game remember? Or do you want to stop now?”
“All this talk and I still haven’t been bitten or fucked, are vampires impotent or something or is it just you?”
Jimin laughs, yanking your body to face the wall again and pinning you to him. “I’ll make you forget everything but my dick while I’m fucking you, you won’t have a single other thought in that pretty little head of yours other than giving me all your pleasure.”
“Oh yeah? Well, I’m waiting.”
Jimin laughs again, pressing three thick fingers deep inside you again, you legs go weak as he holds you up with the force of his body against yours. He drags his fingers out and higher until he’s circling your other opening. His digits press into both of your holes, filling you up completely as you cry out. You haven’t had someone give attention to that part of you in so long, you tense at the unexpected stretch. His thumb works against your clit expertly as he rocks his hand against yours. You feel so full and overwhelmed by Jimin. “So close already? Beg me to make you come, pet.”
“I’m not your pet.”
You take his torture silently, hold in your moans as he brings you to the brink of release and stops short of satisfaction over and over again. He thrusts his fingers in and out of your holes, until the tight stretch goes away, his fingers easily gliding in and out of your wetness, until the ache is replaced with a need for more. Your entire core pulsates as he slowly and torturously circles your swollen bud, changing the pressure just enough to drive you crazy by ghosting over your clit when you needed more and rubbing even harsher circles when it all becomes too much, his touch making you feverish and sick with desire. When you clench around his fingers, closer than you’ve gotten to release since he started this torture, he pulls out of you completely, pressing his hard cock, straining against the cloth of his pants, into your sore center.
“You smell so good,” he moans. You don’t want to think about Jungkook, you don’t want to taint his memory, but Jimin’s words are so similar. Jungkook is nothing like Jimin, but they are more similar to each other than to a human like you. Perhaps you are just as weak and pathetic as Jimin says, a human can be no match for a vampire, and you’ll never be able to win against him.
“Please Jimin...just let me cum...”
“Beg me.” His usual airy voice drips with arousal, and he presses his bulge harder into your wetness.
You don’t do as he says, you can’t, so he continues his torturous little game, until you’re moaning loudly, head thrown back against his shoulder, whimpering every time he stills. He pulls his fingers out of your dripping core, focusing his attention on your ass, thumb rubbing harsh circles into your throbbing clit, you feel so empty and painfully full as your sensitive walls clench around nothing and his fingers stretch your rim open for him. Your entire body vibrates, but you’d rather stay unsatisfied than say please to Jimin ever again.
Finally, as the sun sets and the last bit of light around the curtains disappears, Jimin realizes he can play his game no longer and pulls away from you completely. Your legs give out as you slide down the wall, mind finally free from the haze of lust Jimin kept you in.
“So weak,” Jimin tuts.
“...impotent...dick...”
“Pathetic slut.”
“I thought about Seokjin the entire time,” you whisper.
“...liar.”
---
You must have fallen asleep, you feel a hand cupping your cheek, and you open your eyes to Seokjin, blonde hair, red eyes, suit buttoned to the collar. You let out a small laugh, and then groan once the pain in your joints wakes you fully.
Jin carries you back to your bed. You tug on his sleeve.
“Please take the pain away,” you ask softly.
Seokin’s eyes search the expanse of your skin, “There are no cuts on your body.”
Groaning, you sit up and kiss the vampire who freezes against you. So you take the opportunity to straddle Seokjin’s lap, and start unbuttoning his shirt, kissing, licking, biting his smooth skin. Jimin’s harsh words replay in your mind and sting you. Screw him, let him think whatever he wants, let him hear you. This had been a part of your plan anyways, first Seokjin, and then you’ll worry about him, might as well have some relief too.
“What happened?” Seokjin asks as you rut into his body, tearing his shirt open. He doesn’t look upset that you popped the buttons, does he ever get upset anymore? You hastily unbuckle his belt. His hands cover yours, repeating his question, “What happened, y/n?”
You grab his hand and move it under your dress. Seokjin stills as his fingers come into contact with your thigh, slick with your wetness from hours of Jimin's teasing. His hands travel up your shaking leg.
“You’re so wet,” he groans, “...Did Ji-”
You silence him with a kiss. “Fuck me, I feel like I’m dying.”
Seokjin laughs against your lips, “Humans are so dramatic,” but he’s already pulling you closer, turning you around to lie on the bed. He bends down to your core, pushing your dress over your waist, you spread your legs wide open for him.
He licks your arousal from your inner thigh, fingers massaging your aching center.
“Ugh fuck, stop teasing me,” you whine. Seokjin fills you with two long fingers, pushing inside you to the knuckle. His teeth bite down on your inner thigh, it stings but your lust somehow lessens the pain. Your body tenses, you clench around his fingers and he speeds up, pulling more blood from your veins.
You flinch when you see Jimin again, reliving the memory from Seokjin’s mind. He’s half naked, kissing a beautiful woman who is fully naked, right in front of Seokjin.
Jimin looks so different, dark hair, flushed skin, tenderness in his eyes.
The girl lowers her body between the men, and fills her mouth with Seokjin’s hardening length. You feel yourself become wetter. Seokjin moans against your feverish skin, biting you for a second time, higher up your leg. It stings again, but you’re too busy trying to get off on his fingers to care about anything but release. Seokjin bites the mound of flesh close to your center, his tongue pressing against your hood, your vision goes white and then-
You see Yoongi’s sharp eyes above you, his naked body on top of yours, cold and wet, hard cave rocks against your bare back. You see Namjoon, a younger version of him, long hair pulled back into a low bun, across the room in bed with another woman. The room is small and empty. Two beds, two couples, Seokjin watching his friend fuck the random girl senseless.
You feel jealousy, watching Namjoon through Seokjin’s eyes. He looks so different, so feral and savage. The bed creaks loudly underneath him as he grips the headboard, and thrusts into her wildly. Jin pumps his fingers inside you in time with Namjoon's thrusts, it makes you feel like you’re going to burst into a thousand pieces. Namjoon’s eyes glow yellow as he gives Seokjin a wicked grin and you’re scared for the first time of Namjoon as he growls, releasing into the woman.
“Don’t make a mess,” he drops the spent girl on Seokjin’s lap, who caresses her face. She’s breathtaking, you feel inadequacy course through you, you feel jealousy, you feel turned on when her full lips envelop Seokjin's thumb. Namjoon pulls the sleeping naked girl from Seokjin’s bed, tapping her check to rouse her awake.
Seokjin’s arousal is overwhelming you. He slams into the woman’s body from behind, chasing his high while holding her face down into the bed, and then his fangs pierce her back as her screams are muffled. You don’t want to come to this, to the feeling of her blood filling his mouth, arousing him and arousing you. Namjoon’s grunts and sounds of sex fills your mind again and you come undone in a silent scream around Seokjin’s fingers.
---
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.
You run around the room, darting around Seokjin who watches you rather calmly for the unfolding situation. The rest of his body frozen, the blessed dagger lodged in between his vertebrae, stopping his regeneration.
Once you came, thighs snug around his head, you pulled the dagger from your corset and stabbed him in the back. You kicked him away from you before he could attack and he fell backward, the dagger piercing deep into his back, and that’s where he was currently, frozen on the floor, watching you as you run around the room in disbelief that you actually managed to stab a vampire.
You trip over him by accident and he lets out a soft grunt. “Fuck! Are you okay?” you sit next to his frozen body, “Like, relative to being stabbed, I mean? Don’t answer that...because you can’t. Oh fuck.” You put your head down, resting it on his chest, you don’t hear anything but your laboured breathing. ‘Believe in yourself, y/n! Yoongi believed in you…’
You gather yourself up once again and you move to the window, jiggling the handle. It’s still unlocked! You’re too high up to escape but...
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you whisper, “I really am sorry,” you grunt as you heave the immobilized vampire to the window, inch by inch, Seokjin’s body like a sack of bricks. You place him against the wall and crouch down so you can look him in the eyes, patting down his messy hair, tousled in your struggle to move him, “I’m sorry,” you repeat again, “but you’re a vampire right?” You say encouragingly, and you give him a couple of pats on the cheek, his eyes dart down to watch the action, “Technically, you can’t die.”
With every ounce of strength you have left inside you, you shove Seokjin out the window.
---
You quietly lock the door to what had been your room and prison cell behind you, quickly walking through the halls. You’re not sure what you expected, maybe a gothic interior fit for Dracula, burning candlesticks and red velvet drapes, but you got electricity and mid century modern eclectic, the walls were colorful with art pieces, deep emeralds and golds and blood red. You open the first door you come across.
A young woman sits on a large bed reading a book, looking up at you. Is that how you looked to them? A more disheveled and unpleasant version of her? She looked happy, until she noticed you, and then her smile fell, disappointed you weren’t Jimin or Jin. You slam the door shut and lock it again.
You race as quietly as you can through the halls, you have no idea what you’re looking for, quickly peeking into each room you come across. Strangers, stop what they are doing to look at you, waiting like obedient lap dogs. You have yet to find an empty room. Four doors you’ve opened on this floor, no empty rooms, and you begin to feel hopeless.
You open the fifth and final door and you’re assaulted with the loud sound of moaning. The moaning comes from a woman specifically, her cries almost as loud as the slapping of her skin against Jimin’s naked body. Jimin had needed an outlet after his time with you, specifically, someone to use and bite that wasn't 'off limits.'
You stand frozen in shock, it feels like all the air has escaped the room, filling the woman’s lungs instead as she screams in ecstasy. He is standing next to the bed, fucking into her at an inhuman speed, holding her hips in the air as she struggles to hold the rest of her torso horizontal. You can’t look away, because her body, her stomach, her large bouncing tits, it’s all covered in blood. You almost scream, almost, but the small huff of air you let out instead is enough. The bed stops creaking as Jimin’s movement stops and you meet his surprised eyes.
You shut the door, lock it and run.
You run down the stairs, you see the entrance and you almost run out the door, but you instead run down the hall, flinging every door you see, praying you find something. There's a kitchen, a dining room with the longest table you’ve ever seen, and an empty room! It looks like an office! You run inside. You run to the desk, looking over the papers. Weird markings litter the pages, it reminds you of the markings on Yoongi’s bag. You have to be getting closer to your objective, you have to be! You scatter the papers around, yank open the drawers, hoping to find something useful. There’s a bookcase behind the desk, and you start pulling down books, nothing is catching your eye. You pull on the bookcase, you run your hand across the wood frantically, searching for perhaps a trap door-
“What are you looking for? I can try to help.”
You jump, almost screaming. You hold your heart, it hadn’t stopped, to your surprise. You had no idea someone else was in the room with you. You stare back at a calm man with messy brown hair, he looks at you timidly. “Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you. I just wanted to help, and it took me a while to organize those books,” he laughs softly. The man shuffles back to the wall, you hear metal clanging and look at his feet, they have chains around them, his hands too.
You look down at your feet, papers and books are all around you “I-I’m sorry. I was just-I didn’t know-” You had no idea how much more time you had to spare so you cut to the chase. “Is there a portal here?!”
The man’s eyes go wide, “Not here,” he speaks softly, “One level lower.” He gave you the answer you were looking for without any hesitation, was this a trick? You look at him more closely, his clothes are loose, like pajamas, and he’s barefoot, he looks at you happily, like you didn’t just storm into his room and destroy his things. The innocent expression on his face reminds you of Jungkook.
You remember why he looks so familiar, “You were sitting next to Yoongi!”
The man tilts his head confused, and then he stares at the door, “you need to leave now,” he rushes towards you, “Go down the stairs to the right.” He finds a pen on his desk. “The portal is in the basement, in Seokjin’s office. You’ll need this to open the door, it will only work once.” He grabs your hand and writes a long looping character on your palm, it burns gold and then disappears, while you stand still in shock.
Before you can question him the door bursts open. Jimin stands in the doorway, looking at you and the other man. His anger is replaced by an expression you don’t quite understand. Heavy silence envelops the room. The awkward tension is cut when Jimin speaks to you calmly saying, “Come here. Now.”
The man steps between you and Jimin. “Stay here, he can’t come inside, just like I can’t leave.” The man leans against the desk, his long legs blocking you from leaving, his chains clanging again.
“Y/n, come here now.” That was the first time Jimin said your name. You look between the men.
“Why would I go to you? You’re going to kill me!”
Jimin runs a hand through his hair, rolling his eyes to the side, “I promise you I won’t kill you if you come here right now.” He says the words as sweetly as he can in his growing irritation, trying to coax you to him, but to you he sounds patronizing and angry.
“Jimin’s lying,” the man next to you whispers, confirming your suspicions.
“Tae, just bring her to me!” the vampire screams.
“No, I don’t want to, you’re going to hurt her.”
‘Tae, he said. Is this Taehyung?’ The same man you saw next to Yoongi, the same man Namjoon warned you about, the man who is protecting you and gave you a way out of this hell of a place?
“Can’t you just do the right thing for once?!”
“You haven’t come to visit me in how long, Jimin?”
They yell at each other like an old married couple. You stare down at your hand, it looks perfectly ordinary, you think you might have just imagined it all, what Taehyung did, but you realized on this island nothing was impossible.
“A-are you a wizard?” you interrupt the men’s arguing.
Taehyung turns back to you surprised and gives you a bright smile, “No, I just learned from one. He didn't call himself a wizard, though” he laughs, “I think the correct term is warlock?”
“Oh, okay, good to know,” you mumble. Jimin quietly seethes at the doorway.
“Why do you have chains on if you can’t leave this room?”
“Yeah, why do I have chains on, Jimin?” He turns to the vampire accusingly.
“Just wait until Seokjin comes,” Jimin mutters, and he pulls the dagger you used on Seokjin out of his back pocket, holding the handle with a handkerchief. “Nice trick, by the way, y/n. Seokjin is still healing himself from the fall. You’re going to regret not coming to me when I asked.” He glares at you.
“So that’s what fell!” Taehyung roars with laughter.
“I said I was sorry,” you mutter, biting your lip. How the hell are you going to get out of this situation now? As if you summoned the Devil himself, Seokjin appears next to Jimin.
You hide behind Tahyung out of instinct, grabbing onto his chained arm. Taehyung holds in his joy while the two vampires' expressions darken.
“Don’t fucking touch him!” Jimin seethes.
You let anger get the best of you and wrap your arms around Taehyung’s waist instead, glaring from behind his shoulder.
“Y/n-” “Don’t,” Taehyung interjects. “-get away from him,” Seokjin warns.
“Why?! How do I know you both aren’t going to murder me as soon as I leave this room?”
“Is there not a spell we can use to get her out?!” Jimin turns to Seokjin ignoring you. You grind your teeth. Two can play that game.
“Why are you locked in here? How do you know Yoongi and Namjoon?”
“Yoongi? We all met him when we came to the island.” Jimin screams Taehyung’s name to silence him, but he ignores him easily. “You should have seen Seokjin and Jimin, he got them all wet and they vowed to make sushi out of him!” he laughs, turning his body around in your arms to face you instead of the pair.
You look over to the two vampires who have gone quiet. “And Namjoon?”
“Taehyung..” Seokjin warns.
“What? I’m not even allowed to talk about it now?” Taehyung whines.
“Enough! Y/n come here...please.” You hadn’t expected a request from Seokjin. “I swear, I won’t punish you for what you’ve done, just come here.” he holds out his hand for you, you can see the magic swirl around his fingers, burning his skin. He winces, but doesn’t move his hand away, even when his tips begin to turn black with char.
“What about Jimin?”
“Yes, fine, I won’t punish you, just hurry the fuck up,” the younger vampire looks anxiously at Seokjin’s hand.
“Y/n, please no! I’ve been here by myself for so long, I can’t stand it! You’re the first person who’s visited me. I don’t want to be alone,” Taehyung whimpers, a high pitched whine as you hesitantly make your way to Seokjin. He reminds you so much of Jungkook. He paces around you, begging you to stay.
“I-I don’t want to be locked in that room anymore.”
“Okay! Just come here!” Jimin yells.
“How can I trust you? How do I know you won’t go back on your word?!”
“They will, y/n, please! Look, Jimin promised he would visit me, he lied!”
Seokjin pulls his hand away, completely burned black and puts out his other arm instead. “You’re just going to have to trust us, like we will have to trust you not to pull any more stunts. We’ll trust each other, okay?” Seokjin pleads with you.
“I-I’ll come back to visit you,” you say to Taehyung. “Right?” You turn to Seokjin who relents and gives you a hasty nod.
“No!” Taehyung whimpers, “They are going to lock you away! Please believe me! You’ll never be able to escape.”
You reach for Seokjin’s hand, but Taehyung jumps in between you, holding out his chained hands. “Look at them! Look closely, what are these made out of, y/n? LOOK!” You study the metal, it looks shiny and silver. It’s silver.
Seokjin lurches forward quickly, his suit catches fire, his warm hand grasps onto yours and pulls you out of the room and away from Taehyung and everything goes black.
---
You wake up in a different room. You’re not alone. Another woman sits on the bed next to you, she jumps when you wake up. It makes you jump, ‘fuck why is everyone so jumpy here?’ you think holding your head in your hands to calm your nerves.
You try to scoot away, and you feel a tug on your ankle, so you pull the covers off of you. You’re in a new dress, all white, like the sheets, like the woman’s dress next to you. You see a chain connected to your foot that reminds you of Taehyung’s shackles but darker metal. No. “My clothes!”
“They made me, I-I’m sorry, I had to give them your clothes. The necklace wouldn’t come off, I-I didn’t tell them,” the woman pulls at her sleeve. “I kept your secret, but I can’t promise you they won’t find out, Master might look into my memories.” Your hand traces the gold watch chain around your neck, calming down.
“Okay...thank you.” You whisper uneasily. “H-How long have you been here?”
The woman thinks, humming to herself. “I lost count, Master did give me this on our Fifth Year Anniversary!” She shows off the blood red jewelry dangling from her ears.
Ugh. “That’s nice,” you say and get out of bed. The dress is tight around you, covering your arms and flowing down to your ankles, the one place the fabric doesn’t touch is your neck, the hemline sits off your shoulders and plunges into a deep V. You scoot your way to the door until you can’t take it anymore and reach for the bottom of your dress, pulling the fabric until it tears.
You hear the woman let out a soft, “oh no.”
The chain stops you from reaching the door, even if you stretch out your legs you can’t grab the handle. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
You wheel your body back around, “Hey, what’s your name?”
The woman thinks, humming to herself. “I don’t remember.”
“Listen, I’m going to need you to-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T REMEMBER?!”
The woman flinches from your volume. “Well Master calls me his little doll and I like that name a lot, and I just, well, forgot my other name.”
You take a deep breath as you try not to be sick. “Well Dolly, your MASTER IS A HUGE FUCKING ASSHOLE. YOU FUCKING LIARS!”
---
The group in the parlor turn their heads to the small voice echoing through the halls, Jimin winces, hearing your words clearly, moving one of the women off his lap. “She’s awake.”
“I’ll go-”
“It seems you failed at controlling her, brother. Why can’t I just try?”
Seokjin scoffs, “You can barely control yourself.”
Jimin’s jaw clenches. “I’ll-” he coughs, “-use restraint. I won’t hurt her.”
---
“Monsters!”
“Oh no, they’re going to be so mad.”
“Taehyung was right! I swear to God-”
“So so mad, oh no, oh no no no.”
“I won’t let you get away with this! Liars! Bastards!”
“Master!”
The door opens and Jimin stands against the door frame, ignoring your irateness and addressing your new roommate with a smile, “Hey Doll.”
Jimin standing in front of you had extinguished some of your rage and replaced it with apprehension, halting your tirade for now. “You fucking lied,” you glare at him.
“It’s not locked, I’m not forcing you to be here,” He looks over your shoulder, “Right Baby Doll?” The woman nods enthusiastically back. “The chain was a precaution, I’ll remove it, I promise. We just need to set some ground rules, okay pet?”
“I am not your fucking pet!”
He moves around you, like a buzzard circling it’s next meal, “You look so much better in this instead of that ugly sea dress.”
“Don’t I look pretty?” you hear the woman’s tiny voice ask Jimin.
“Of course!”
You rub your temples, “Jimin, just take this chain off me.”
“After everything you’ve done, and you’re still trying to make demands? Do you know how incredibly lucky you are? Can’t you just show a bit more gratitude like her?”
Jimin kisses the woman and she moans against him, deepening the kiss. You rub harder at your temples. You're chained, a captive audience to what ever the hell display is happening in front of you, becoming more uncomfortable and annoyed with each passing minute.
“Seriously?”
He drapes his arms around the woman’s shoulders and stares at you, “Jealous?”
You scoff. You think back to the version of him in Seokjin’s memories, with the other woman. You remember the tenderness in his eyes as he watched her and you swallow down the lump forming in your throat. You are not jealous! And anyways, Jimin’s tenderness is all gone now.
“She doesn’t even remember her name anymore.”
“She doesn’t seem to mind,” he winks at her, and the woman giggles at your exchange.
“Her entire life has been taken away! What happened, it’s worse than death.” You hug your arms close to your body. Was that going to become you if you stayed here?
“Worse than death?” Jimin echoes your words and you notice him stare at his reflection in the room’s mirror. You stand in silence, watching him as he runs a hand through his hair, pushing back the loose strands while the woman softly hums to herself a sweet melody. She doesn’t sense the looming danger all around you and it makes your chest tighten in anxiety.
“You’re right y/n. Come here.” He holds out his hand for her.
He pulls her into a kiss, she smiles against her lips. You awkwardly shift at the exchange. She seemed happy with Jimin, even if she couldn’t remember the person she was anymore. It makes you wonder if she had resisted in the beginning or had always been this irritatingly agreeable...or maybe she even loved him, maybe her love was the only thing left in her.
Jimin holds her face in his hands, dragging his lips across hers, a spectacle of two lovers. She’s beautiful like Jimin, they fit perfectly together, a rose and a thorn.
It happens so quickly you stand stunned, you don’t have time to scream or stop him. She’s on the ground, neck twisted, dead.
You’re so stunned you can’t even cry, you just shake, fallen to your knees, staring at her beautiful lifeless face. Her red earrings dangle from her ears catching the light.
“What have you done?” Your voice sounds tiny and high, like hers.
“I saved her from a fate worse than death, according to you. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
You can’t speak. He moves closer, putting a hand on your cheek, the same way he had held the woman’s head a few seconds ago. His cold finger wipes away your tears. When did you start crying?
“We aren’t liars. I’ll unchain you. So, will you behave now?”
---
You walk the halls during the sunlight. You stop by Taehyung’s door knocking four times, opening the door an inch. “I found this in the kitchen!”
“I’m...allergic.”
“Allergic to chocolate?! I-I’m sorry,” you mutter, though it doesn’t stop you from enjoying the bar yourself.
You lean forward into Taehyung’s room, he puts his chained arms over your head, and gives you a hug. He reminds you of Jungkook so much, sweet and gentle. But he’s not warm like him, he’s still a stranger to you, always dodging your questions. Namjoon’s words constantly play in your mind not to trust Taehyung. Even though out of everyone here, you trust him the most, you like him the most. Being able to spend time with him, even if your conversations are shallow and lighthearted, is the best part of your day.
“Y/n?”
“Hmm?”
“Why haven’t you escaped?” He whispers.
You play with the hem of your dress as a distraction, “I don’t know.”
He always asks you the same question and you always give him the same answer, but today Taehyung persists. “They won’t catch you if you go now! Isn’t that the whole reason you let yourself get caught?” Even though you hardly know anything about Taehyung, he knows so much about you already.
“I’m...I’m scared.”
He pats your head, you shake his hand away, lightly shoving him back. “I’m not a dog!”
Taehyung laughs, “Yeah, you’re a scaredy cat.”
“How dare you!” you hit his leg as he giggles.
“I want to show you something! It will help you when you finally escape!”
You cover his mouth with your hands, shushing him. Looking around to see if there were any others lurking around you, but no one ever comes around Taehyung. “What is it?”
“Well, um, you’ll have to come all the way inside.”
“...I can’t.” You move away from him again and lean your head against the door frame.
Taehyung sighs. “I knew you’d say that!” he whines. “Do you do everything Jimin says now?”
You roll your eyes, “Not even close,” you mutter. “And it’s not just Jimin...”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been told not to trust you...and you haven’t been very open with me, have you?” you look down at your hands, intertwined with his, you trace the gold markings along his chained wrists.
“It’s complicated,” he whispers.
“I can’t see how it could get more complicated than being a werewolf trapped in a house full of vampires.”
“It’s much more complicated,” he pulls on your arm, staring at you with pleading eyes. “Leave a shoe outside and they won’t notice you’ve come inside, I promise!”
You hum, searching for a compromise. “How about this,” you scoot over the entrance, sitting closer to Taehyung while making sure to keep your legs outside. “Technically, I am inside and also outside.”
“But the magic won’t work unless your body is fully inside here,” Taehyung pouts. “The spell on the room will clash with mine and who knows what will happen then!”
“How do you know so much about magic?”
“I can’t say…” Taehyung whispers.
Your expression turns sour, ‘What can you say...’ you think. “Well can’t you just like, Houdini yourself out of here?”
Taehyung shakes his head regretfully. “No, if only it were that simple. And please don’t ask me to explain,” he teases. Taehyung scoots behind you and pulls your body onto his lap. “Let’s stay like this for a while.”
“Okay,” you hum.
“Let go of each other!” You wake up on the floor with Taehyung cuddled to your side, one lone foot of yours still remains outside the door. Jimin pulls on your foot before you can untangle yourself from Taehyung, dragging the rest of your body into the hallway. Taehyung grunts, waking up as you’re pulled from his embrace.
You blink away the sleep from your eyes, face-to-face with Jimin, his head hovering over yours, eyes bright red with anger.
“Leave her alone, Jimin!”
“I-I am allowed to talk to him,” your words come out small and high when you finally speak and you hate it, the way your fear strangles your voice.
“On one condition, just one.” Jimin hisses.
“W-well, t-technically-”
"You're being so unfair!" Taehyung yells. "Do you like her that much?"
“Tae, enough!” He slams the door in Taehyung’s pleading face.
There is a bang on the door, only once, so loud and strong it shakes the entire connecting wall, the picture frames wobble and dust falls from the ceiling, the sound so abrupt and booming it makes you, and even Jimin, flinch.
---
“Jimin told me you were in a...compromising position, with Tae today.” You and him watch the stars from your bedroom window, now locked.
Your stomach tightens. “Taehyung is lonely, maybe if Jimin spent time with him I wouldn’t have to,” you mutter.
“Do you care about Taehyung?” Jin’s eyes study your features, his sharp hearing picks up your heartbeat, waiting to hear any lies in your answers.
“No, I just-He’s the only normal person here.”
“Person? Normal?” Jin quietly laughs.
“A werewolf is a person too.”
“Ahhh, so you think Tae is a werewolf.”
“He is, isn’t he?” You spin around to look at Jin but his poker face is as strong as ever as he smiles down at you.
“Is a vampire a person too?”
You chew on your bottom lip, “I guess so,” you side eye the man next to you, “Deep down. Somewhere.”
Jin kisses your lips softly, carrying you back to your bed and placing you beneath him. You’ve managed to latch onto Jin since that night, a lesser of two evils. The vampire truly was a forgiving man, and even if parts of you were weakened by fear, your mind had impressively blocked Seokjin’s pull since that night as well, so he had deemed you his personal pet project, his puzzle to solve, keeping Jimin an arm’s length away from you.
Jin was nice, sometimes. And sometimes, you enjoyed his company too.
You play with his soft blond locks. You know the pain is coming eventually, so you do everything you can to distract yourself, admiring the vampire’s beautiful features before you. He pulls the deep neckline of your dress easily down your body, exposing your chest to his piercing eyes. His eyes stop on the gold piece nestled in your cleavage, like always, he ignores it. He knows what it is, what he doesn’t know is why Namjoon gave it to you.
The cold air and Seokjin’s cold fingers kneading your breasts sends you into a bout of shivers, when he drags his tongue across your skin you arch your back and push your chest closer to his soft lips. He’s so gentle with you now. Sometimes, you wish he was rougher, like the Seokjin you witnessed with Namjoon.
“Won’t you let me in again, Dove?” Namjoon’s watch falls into the dip in your clavicle, replaced by Jin's fangs as he bites the flesh of your breasts, his fingers pull at your nipples distracting you from the pain. He doesn’t drain you unconscious anymore, instead Seokjin likes to covers your skin in lovebites, taking all night with you.
“I-I can’t control it.”
“Let’s practice control,” Seokin smirks, lips stained red, and he moves his hands down your body.
He takes time stretching you full with his fingers, his lips never leaving your chest, steadily building up the pressure inside you with each quick stroke of his thumb against your core until you’re tightening around his digits. “Don’t cum.”
You tense around him, unable to successfully hold in your moans. “I can’t. I’m going to-”
“Just try, Dove.” You would hope he’d stop moving his fingers, at least slow down, but he’s steady and relentless, his digits pushing inside you in the most perfect mind-numbing pace. There’s no way you could stop your impending orgasm, but you try to hold it off, just two more three four five agonizing seconds longer. Seokjin sucks on the sensitive skin of your breast, mouth pulling as much of the mound as he can fit inside while you pulse around his digits. You feel his teeth sink deep into your flesh and his name escapes your lips in a strangled moan.
His usual dull eyes look up at you shinning with desire. “Let’s try again.”
---
“I brought biscuits.” You hold up the sweet cookies in front of Taehyung’s confused face.
“Thank you, y/n.” Taehyung gives you a bright smile and hugs you extra tight when you peek your head into his room.
“Ready to escape?”
“I-I don’t know.”
Taehyung pouts. “You’re-I'm-” Taehyung struggles to say the right words, “We’re running out of time, y/n.”
“What do you mean?”
“I just need a couple minutes with you, please. I have everything ready!” Taehyung runs to his desk, pulling together a stack of papers. “You want to see everyone again, don’t you? You friends and family?” he pleads.
Your family, you’re ashamed to admit you haven’t thought about them. It wasn’t even purposeful, your mind just had stopped wandering to thoughts of them.
Yoongi, Namjoon, Jungkook, and Hoseok, you couldn’t bring yourself to think about them anymore either, it hurt too much. The small traces of their personalities that Taehyung reminded you of had become sufficient enough as you tolerated living. “W-What do you mean we’re running out of time?”
“I think I have just enough magic to fill your necklace,” he whispers, “but if I remember correctly, that model only holds twelve weeks worth of time. How long have you been on this island, y/n?”
Your fingers clutch at Namjoon’s watch resting against your heart. Could you really rewind back time to when you never got on that damned boat! “I-I just need to take off a shoe?”
Taehyung’s face lights up. “Yeah, or something that has your scent that they can still sense, just in case”
“So the more I leave the less noticeable it would be?”
“Well, I guess so?”
You look around at the hallway, still empty like always, and pull off both shoes from your feet. “Do you have a shirt I can borrow?” You begin to shimmy out of your dress. Taehyung’s eyes go wide, and he wets his drying lips, then he springs into action, searching his closet for something to cover you. You pull his large sweater over your body and take a hesitant step inside.
Taehyung wraps you into his arms in a proper hug, holding you close. “I’m so happy you found me, y/n. I’m so happy.” He whispers.
He holds you tight to him, you're ashamed how affected you are by his kind gestures, you shouldn’t feel this way about someone who Namjoon told you to stay away from, it felt like a betrayal. “Don’t forget about me once you escape,” Taehyung whispers.
You melt into his embrace. “I won’t. Isn’t there a way to break the spell on the island? There just has to be! There has to be a way to save you and Yoongi and-”
“You like him,” Taehyung pouts.
“What? Who? Yoongi?!” Your face flushes hot.
“I don’t like sharing,” Taehyung mumbles into his sweater currently draped over your shoulders.
You swallow thickly. “Tae?”
He pulls away, holding you loosely, searching your eyes. During your interactions, you usually kept your attention around Taehyung, unable to focus too long on his intimidating aura and good looks, worried you'd start feeling too much for the mysterious man, worried you'd disappoint Namjoon. But now Taehyung is all around you, and his magnetism is too strong for you to resist. “Tae-”
His kiss is brief, however no less impactful, the way he pours his desires into you until your lost in a haze, following his lips as he pulls away, entranced by the small smile he shows you.
When he lifts his chained arms over your head, he pulls your necklace off as well. You were surprised how easily he removed it, when even Jimin couldn’t pull it off you (much to the vampire’s annoyance). You watched intently as Taehyung turns the watch's dial and whispers a spell in a language you can’t understand. “There, it worked, I set it to the full twelve weeks. you’ll know when to use it.” He places the watch around your neck again, his fingers cupping your cheeks and he rests his forehead against yours, content. Your face burns hot, Taehyung is so affectionate and sweet and treats you like glass.
This close, you can peer into his deep warm brown eyes, irises twinkling back at you so beautifully, it looks like gold swirls in them. “Just one more thing, and then the world is ours,” he says.
---
You sit up in your bed abruptly. Your fingers search for Namjoon’s watch as you try to steady your breathing. The hard gold feels comforting against the tips of your fingers as your eyes adjust to the darkness. You’re reminded of the night you first arrived. But gone is Yoongi’s colorful dress, the clinical white fabric of your new dress, sits tight around your body like a straight jacket and blends in with the white bed sheets.
Weren’t you just with Taehyung, what happened? You remember he told you you were running out of time. Then what happened?
You have to go find him!
You leave the bed and search out his room again. Jimin passes you in the halls, as quiet as a cat, startling you so much you almost fall if it weren't for his fast reflexes. “There you are, ugh I figured you’d be headed to Tae’s room,” Jimin frowns, “Let’s go.”
“Where are you taking me?” You fight against his grip as he pulls you in the opposite direction.
“I haven’t fed in weeks, and my favorite meal is gone because of you.”
You shut your eyes tight, trying to push away the images of the woman who haunts your dreams.
“So you’re taking her place.”
“What?!” You're doing what now? “J-Jin said-”
“Are you his parrot now? Well lucky for me, tonight Jin went to go speak with Yoongi,” he says smugly.
You step into Jimin’s room. The dresser was covered with random items that don’t seem personalized to the vampire’s taste at all. Unread books, countless jewelry pieces, and a plethora of knives.
“Don’t even think about it, pet.” Jimin warns as he sees your eyes stop on the sleek blades.
“I wasn’t,” you mutter. It was the truth.
There’s no window in his room, no mirrors, just wood furniture, covered in scratches and dents of aggression. The areas of his room, like his dresser, are littered with things, so many discarded things. The room is soulless, like Jimin, it feels like a lavish prison cell.
“So,” you don’t look at Jimin, instead you look at his things, trying to find some sense of his personality, “I guess you’re going to finally prove to me you aren’t impotent after all?” you mock. You know you shouldn't poke the beast, but Jimin is like an annoying itch you can't help but scratch.
Jimin scoffs, “Slut, can you go a night without getting fucked?”
“Can you?!”
Jimin smirks. “I'm almost going to miss that.”
You take a step away from him at his words. “What are you going to do?”
“Jin is too sentimental, he only skims the surface of his powers now. There is another aspect to a memory pull, it’s much more fun. Can you guess what that is, pet?”
You’ve been guessing and trying to make sense of everything since that night. “That woman's memories, you took them, right?”
Jimin claps his hands, slow and mocking at your right answer. “It’s not a simple task, but she was particularly compliant,” he bites his lip in memory. “She was much more willing to part with her past, her previous life wasn’t so great if you were wondering...some would see what I did as a blessing.”
The vampire stands in front of you cupping your cheek. “But I’m sure you...” his hand follows your jaw, “...will put up an impressive fight.”
You let out the breath you've been holding, if you can do what happened to Jin, maybe you can find something you can use against him. Maybe his torture won’t work on you...!
“You’re going to regret this,” you say, pulling your head away from his hand.
He laughs, “I regret not doing this sooner.” Jimin was tired of Jin's special treatment of you, all these new rules, all the things you've gotten away with when he wasn't even allowed to drink from you, follow his most basic of urges, it was annoying, you were annoying.
You feel exposed under his penetrating stare, you turn your head and hold your wrist out to Jimin, “Well? Go right ahead.” You think the inevitable has been dragged out long enough.
He looks at your wrist, lips rolling over his tongue as his fingers glide over the thin skin, and then he pulls you closer so you stumble into him, yelping. He looks up and down your body, his hair brushing against your forehead, the strands ticking you. You're supposed to hate each other, but the way he holds you and touches you, it’s too intimate, too rough and too soft for you to make sense of it.
“Do you have to ruin all the dresses we give you?” He noticed the slit you cut into your too long dress.
“Why are they so tight?” you say, watching his eyes as they roam over your exposed skin, feeling hot from his attention. You try to keep your thoughts calm, pure, so he doesn't notice what he's doing to you. “I can barely walk around.”
“Then maybe you should stay on your back,” his voice low and taunting. His free hand reaches for the torn fabric and as quick as a flash Jimin tears the slit higher up to your hip bone.
Your hands attempt to pull the slit closed in vain, and Jimin takes the opportunity to pull at the neckline of your dress, ripping the line even lower, exposing your cleavage to him. You slap him across the face, like you would have done any other man, but Jimin is not just a man, not anymore. He turns his face around and you see his fangs against his curled lip, he looks delighted, like you gave him just the reaction he wanted.
He grabs you around the waist and you feel vertigo as you're thrown across the room. You land on his bed, sinking into the mattress, and before you can scream Jimin is hovering over you.
“Your foreplay sucks.”
Jimin pulls your head back, laughing down at you.
"Get it?" you struggle to speak, “because you're a-”
You scream as Jimin finally bites the column of your neck, his body weight pressing down on you. Pain erupts and you can barely breath. His bite is somehow even more painful than Jin's, you hit his shoulders, pull at his shirt, trying to push him away to release you.
---
“What’s your name?” You can barely hear Seokjin’s voice over the trumpets of the band.
“Jimin.” He yells back.
“Military man,” the bartender nods to his uniform, “This one is on the house.”
“Thanks, um?”
“Seokjin.”
Jimin pulls his bottom lip in, studying the handsome stranger. “Thank you Seokjin.”
---
Jimin pulls away from your neck, breathing heavy. You laugh, and laugh, feeling exhilarated, eyes meeting the vampire while you laugh again. Did you just beat Jimin at his own game?
Your laughter stops when Jimin flips you on your stomach. His fingers dig into your hair, bending your back up to meet his chest. You grunt, jaw slack. “Still waiting to see what you've got, Jimin.”
You’re confusing. Jimin doesn’t even smell fear on you anymore, even when he tightens his grip. You must be feeling overwhelmed, like Jimin, who is trying to make sense of the long forgotten emotions coursing through him right now.
For the first time in a long time, Jimin feels uncomfortable, struggling to make sense of your taunts and why you aren’t submitting. Something unpleasant inside him stirs. He’ll make you regret acting like this, he’ll break you in half until you beg for mercy. He’ll do it. So why isn’t he doing it?
“Well?!”
“Fuck, you’re annoying,” he hisses into your ear.
“So I’ve been told, military man.”
Jimin knows you're goading him, yet still, blind rage courses through his veins, stinging his chest. He rips the back of your dress, tearing it down the center.
Was Jimin fulfilling a twisted fantasy you had ever since you saw Namjoon and Seokjin fuck that nameless woman senseless? Could you admit that to yourself as you feel your core become wetter as he presses his hand down onto your bare back.
You push up on your elbows, but Jimin uses his strength to push you back down, holding your head down. His sharp hearing can hear your muffled moan and the unpleasant feeling in the center of his body twists again.
"You like this?" He groans, affected by the smell of your lust. “Fuck, you act like such a desperate slut.” He palms his dick, needing a release. His moans fill your ears as his stokes himself to the state of your body.
You feel his spit hit your skin, his hard length running along your center, covering his member in your juices and his saliva. His tip teasing your entrance, you push back into him seeking more, and his hands hold you down, making you all the more feverish.
Your arousal hits the vampire’s senses in waves, affecting him more than usual as he tightens his grip to keep you still, focusing on the blood blotting your neck. His cock runs up your slit until he rests over your second hole. You look over your shoulder, prepared to taunt the vampire even more, but his dark expression, filled with carnal desire, slightly unraveled, entirely captivated by you, sends your thoughts into a tailspin.
Jimin pushes his thick length into you, stretching you over his cock, inch by inch until your whole body spasms.
Jimin stayed pressed up against you, a small kindness, his fingers circling your aching core. “Don’t-” you moan, and he stills against you, “d-don’t hold back.”
"I wasn't intending to."
And he doesn't. Your orgasm wracks through you, you feel so full and empty as your walls clench down on nothing while he pounds himself into you relentlessly. You start to shake in overstimulation. His thrusts are wild, your neck is there, you smell so delicious and he's so close to release.
When you come close again, at the peak of arousal, he bites down on your soft skin. You yell, clenching around him even tighter.
“This is your fault.”
You see Tae laugh, so unlike his usual sweet boisterous laugh, he chuckles deep, fighting against the chains around him, his wrist markings glowing gold, then deep orange like fire. “No, this is your fault. You were supposed to kill Jin, we could have had everything we ever wanted. How could you betray me like this?”
Jimin’s hands go lax around your waist, so you put yours over his, holding on as tight as you can.
You see Seokjin and Jimin under a street lamp, you and Jimin watch the way the flies dance around the bulb.
“You’re a vampire.”
Seokjin tenses, so Jimin continues, “I saw you with that girl, the regular with black hair.” His eyes scan the man beside him.
“And what are you going to do now?” Seokjin’s words come out low, almost menacing. Jimin laughs.
“Would you believe me if I said you’re not the strangest thing I’ve seen?” Breaking the awkward silence, Jimin brings an arm over Seokjin’s broad shoulders, pulling the man into a headlock. “I forgive you for always ditching me for lunch.” He teases.
Jimin releases his mouth from your neck.
You shift beneath him to look up at the vampire. Jimin’s bite wasn’t as meticulous as Seokjin’s who knew how to expertly pierce an artery, so you weren’t profusely bleeding, but the wounds still ached. Seokjin has the precision of a doctor, Jimin is messy, wild, his entire front is covered in blood. Jimin's eyes were unfocused, you could tell he was lost in thought.
“Jimin?”
“Enough,” his voice shakily commands you. “I’ll just take the part of you that keeps doing this.”
He pierces your exposed flesh once more concentrating harder.
---
Jimin is tiny. His head reaches the older woman’s knee as he hugs her leg. He points to the butterfly, wings fluttering back and forth slowly as it sits on a leaf Jimin found.
“I fixed it, see!”
“My beautiful son,” she kisses the top of his head, laughing at his cuteness. She looks weak and fragile, sunken eyes and skin pale.
“I’ll fix you too, I’ll learn!” He hugs her leg tighter. She soothes her little boy, knowing it’s already too late for her.
“Grow up to be a doctor, heal people.”
---
He pulls away from you. His eyes look wild, like an animal’s, caught. “Stop looking into my mind!” He screams.
“I can’t control it!” You’re just as stunned as Jimin, you never expected to see a version of himself so innocent.
Jimin holds you down by the neck, he doesn’t squeeze your neck enough to stop your breathing, even though he should, he thinks, he can’t do it, he can’t bring himself to tighten his grip.
“Do it again and I’ll fucking kill you,” he lies.
“I said I can’t control it, asshole!” you struggle against his hold, “Maybe if you weren’t so weak-minded-”
Jimin roars. Pressing his weight back on you, his fangs strike at the sensitive flesh between your collar bone. Your first kiss was so special to you, you could still remember it to this day. You were young, awkward and shy, he was your first crush, a cute boy, his features reminded you of one of your favorite idols at the time, who was-
What did he look like? What was his name? When did he kiss you again? It was after school, you think, you can’t remember. How did he kiss you? That’s right, it was an awkward kiss, because you and him were...friends? Weren’t you? You can’t remember, you can’t remember what had happened, it was so special to you and now it’s gone.
Jimin sucks harder onto your skin, pulling more blood out of you. He took it, your first kiss, you know he did. Jimin, if that sweet little boy could see himself now.
You start to cry. You cry for your stolen first kiss.
His teeth sink into your neck again, pulling more blood greedily, trying to silence the memories he found with the steady beating of your pulse instead. He drags his fangs across your skin, more blood releases, so much blood lost already that everything spins around you. “Jimin!”
He covers your mouth to stop your protests. Jimin seems determined to lose himself again, ravaging your body with more bites. So you close your eyes and your thoughts drift to the young boy.
“Good job!” the soft voice of his mothers fills both your minds. Jimin holds a syringe full of milk to a tiny kitten’s mouth. “You have to take care of her now, remember, treat her gently. There you go!”
“She’s so cute, momma, I love her.”
“You both have to watch out for each other when I’m not around, okay?”
You can hear Jimin whimper into your neck.
You feel sadness wash over you. He could have been a doctor, he could have been a healer. He is, in some twisted way, he been given the gift of healing, and yet he uses it to inflict pain. Even if he wanted to pretend he didn’t experience it, you felt the love that he held so dearly for his mother as a small child. You can hear his laughter, he had the same laugh as his mother.
‘Jimin, I’m going to save you too.’
---
You wake up healed, your head pounding. You look around, Jimin lies next to you, he’s out like a light. You both look like you’ve been in a massacre. Your clothes shredded and blood everywhere. You move away from him, his features look angelic, but his skin is covered in dried blood, like a killer. What the hell happened? You take a step and your legs buckle, you cry out when you knee hits the hard floor. The vampire next to you sways, moves across the bed until he falls completely out of it, groaning.
You crawl your body to the other side of the bed where he is still lying on the floor.
When you look at him again, meeting his eyes, you come to a realization. You know his secret.
“Oh Jimin...”
“Y/n...” his voice is shaky, he covers his face with his hands and his soft cries fill the room. You struggle to get up, everything feels tilted on an axis. You sway and hit furniture as you make your way to the door.
There’s a ringing in your head that won’t leave. You follow the halls down to Seokjin’s office, a place Jimin has been so many times before, retracing his footsteps from a memory of his.
Taehyung’s spell worked just as he said, opening the door to Seokjin’s office, the bright markings glowed and then burnt away from your skin, leaving a trace of ash. ‘Taehyung,’ you’ll have to deal with him later, you think. First you need to get away, as far from the island as you can and try to find Jimin’s family.
There’s a large door to the right of his desk, wood an alien shade of purple. The high pitched ringing in your ears makes the room sway again, but you’re able to grip the handle and fall through to the other side.
---
You sit on the floor of a tiny shop. There’s intricate gold pieces; statues, vases, piled high on countless of glass shelves, every inch of the shop is filled with items, it reminds you of someone but you can’t remember who. You can’t even remember how you got here. Where the hell are you? It feels dangerous, it feels wrong.
You move to a corner and hug your knees to your body. ‘Where am I? Wait, who am I?’ You try to remember anything, any memory from your childhood, from your adulthood. And the past five minutes replays in your mind instead. Gold jewelry in glass cases and the feeling that you shouldn't be here, and a deep voice in your head whispers, “y/n.”
Y/n, is that your name? Your hands skim over the fabric of your torn dress, looking for pockets, looking for anything that might explain something to you. You need to get out of here, you need to leave, but you don’t even know where you are.
You hear a ding, a bell alerting an opening door. You hear a man speak to another. You run out the door while the man behind you lets out a surprised yell to come back.
You run and you run, past buildings past people. You’re barefoot, your clothes hang off you. Eventually you stop. Eventually you decide to ask an old couple who looks unthreatening where you are while you unsuccessfully try not to burst into tears. The old woman holds your hands and strokes your arm to calm you while the husband calls the police.
At first they suspected you were a victim of abuse. They took you to a hospital. The doctors performed several tests on you, each one worse than the last. You had no old memories, and all your new ones were horrible. Clinical, painful, strangers prodding and poking your body. Your dreams were filled of palm trees and warm sunshine on your skin, a sparkling blue ocean, laughter, happiness. So you slept most of the day.
Then one day, detectives came with nurses and they told you who you were. That it took so long because you had been pronounced dead over a month ago. Your parents were on a flight to come get you. You listened to them explain the events hoping to have a jog of memory but nothing comes. They talk about the boat, the crash, no survivors. Always another horrible new piece of information. When will it end?
When your parents picked you up, a lovely man and woman who you tried desperately to remember, the hospital staff gave you a bag with the clothes they found you in. There was a gold pocket watch, an item you didn’t remember having, but you didn’t remember anything, so it didn’t surprise you. You told them to throw everything away, but you kept the watch with you.
You have to stay with them, everything in your life had been reduced to a few boxes they had kept. You lost your home, your identity, you had no money, no job, the only thing you acquired during this whole time was a death certificate.
You start remembering your childhood, slowly at first, a memory here and there, a fall and cut knee, a tea party with stuffed animals, a school field trip, and then years at a time.
You found yourself again. You remembered who you were, your entire life up until you didn’t, the memories fracturing at the end, and the harder you tried to remember how you could have ended up in a different country across the world, your mind would construct horrible images instead, blood, drowning, and death. You couldn’t bare to think of it.
---
“Y/n!” you make your way into the coffee shop, you reconnected with some old childhood friends now that you were back in your hometown.
“Hey, oh my god, who is this big cutie?” Your friend’s dog barks excitedly while you fluff the black fur on his head. He’s so cute, his ears flop to the side with each happy bark.
“Y/n, are you okay?”
“Huh?”
“You’re...well you’re crying?” She looks at you concerned.
You touch your wet cheeks. Why? You don’t know when it started, but as your friend’s dog nudges his head into your palm for more pets, your heart aches.
---
One night, a crazy thought enters your mind. You want to go back to that shop. You want answers. You leave a note for your parents telling them your intentions and pack your freshly made identification cards and travel documents into a suitcase.
So here you are again, in a foreign country, alone again, filled with purpose that seems to pull you in despite how terrified you are.
You scroll through your phone while you lie on the hard foreign hotel mattress. You open a map of where you are on your phone, and zoom out until you see water.
There's islands around the peninsula, you zoom into each one and search each name on your phone, learning each habitat, who lives there, if it is accessible. You do that to pass the time until you fall asleep.
“It’s too dangerous.”
You reach for the merman, grabbing at Yoongi’s shirt and pulling him closer, your eyes meeting his. “Explain.”
Yoongi is taken aback, licking his lips trying to think of a good way to start. "We made a blood pact to protect this island from the outside world, it's indiscoverable and once anyone does come here, they can't leave."
"Why..." you let go of his shirt, but he stays close, "Why would you do that?"
"Think, just think what you humans have done to the world...the others needed some place safe to go to and I-" the merman huffs, "At the time, I thought...well, they were...at the time I didn't mind sharing the island with them. "
Your fingers roll over the bracelets Yoongi put on you. "That was nice of you." The merman glares at you in return.
"You know, they'd come here, we all spent time together." Yoongi's stare is faraway and distant. "In the beginning, at least."
"I-I'm sorry." You hold his hand, and he stares at your fingers only briefly before shaking you off.
"Whatever, I'm surprised they didn't start trying to tear each others throats out sooner," He mutters. "We had portals of course to leave when we wanted to, but one day Namjoon and those dumb dogs destroyed all the portals-"
"What?! Why would they do that?"
"I don't know all the details, but I believe Namjoon did it to protect the rest of his pack. I can respect him for that...but the problem is they trapped us all here like idiots!"
"Is that why you're helping Jin and Jimin?"
"What? To get back at Namjoon? Pfft no. Jin came to me with a deal. He looked off, sick, and he offered me anything I wanted, so I helped him. That's it."
"So technically you can leave the island?"
"I can swim the waters, but I can only go so far, the magic always pulls me back eventually, it's useless to try," he mutters.
You hum.
"Anyways, what Namjoon doesn't know is Jin used some leftover magic and created a portal. Jin has lots of friends that serve him, owe him favors, he uses it as a delivery system."
"So you think if I?"
"That's the only portal I know of, but the magic is dangerous, the vampires put so many protections on their house, they won't even go through it themselves, there has to be a reason, right?"
"I...I'll take my chances."
"They wont even chance going through it, and you will?"
"Yes! And what if I can find a way to break the spell? Then you can finally leave! Yoongi, you have to let me at least try!"
"You're going to get yourself killed one way or another," Yoongi scoffs.
"No, I refuse to believe that."
"You're impossible to understand."
"I'm going through that portal. Then I'll come back for you."
"Wait, you'll come back?" Yoongi asks.
"Well, yeah, if you help me, a deal is a deal. Yoongi please, help me come up with a plan and I swear to you I'll come back with your payment. You're the only one who can search the ocean, you just have to find me again, so what do you say merman?"
"I'll find you again."
---
Your alarm wakes you up. 'What a weird dream,' it felt so realistic. Like all your dreams, the more you think about it, the less you remember, but that man's scarred eyes, whose name you forgot already, they stay with you.
You brush your teeth and wash your face. You notice something as you rinse off your skin. 'What the hell is that?' You inspect the gold writing behind your ear. Taking some more soap, you work to remove it but it doesn’t come off, the glittery ink is permanent. You rubbed your skin raw trying to take it off, it didn’t look like a tattoo, but nothing you did would get rid of the gold markings. You pace around your hotel room, things are getting weirder and you start to feel a nagging sense of dread, but there's a voice inside you that says to keep going until you find the answers you are looking for.
You don't walk right into the shop at first, instead casing out the place. You drink coffee at a nearby restaurant and keep watch on the shop. There are not many visitors, and those who do enter are not who you would expect. You would think maybe some older people who were looking for vintage items would decide to enter, or eccentric younger people, but it was almost always a intimidatingly large man entering, bringing items in rather than taking items out.
You’ve gotten into the habit of playing with the gold chain around your neck, the gold pocket watch had become a permanent accessory.
It's almost closing time for the restaurant, so you reluctantly make your way to the shop, and walk in after a group of tourists.
The shop looks different than what you remember, new items litter the shelves. You hide behind the large cases, studying the objects, until you come across something that makes you hesitate. A necklace with a large red gem hidden behind a thick glass case with a lock.
“You’re that girl! You...you came back.” Your head turns into the direction of the voice, a very old man stares back at you. He looks at you incredulously while you can only stare back dumbly. “C'mon, let’s go,” the old man says, he grabs your elbow. “Seokjin should be awake by now.”
“Let me go! You can’t keep me here!” You pull away from his grasp, your hand tightens around the amulet.
He laughs at you amused, giving you some space. “You walked into my shop, did you not? You don’t want to talk to Seokjin?”
“I…” Do you?! Would he know what happened to you, why does it make you shiver hearing his name.
Wait...you look down at your hand, to make sure you didn't imagine it, and there you see the necklace in the middle of your palm, heavy in your hand, you hide it behind your back, looking over your shoulder to the empty case, the shock of it makes you freeze.
The man looks at you cautiously, “Why are you here, girl? Are you here for Seokjin?”
Seokjin. That name fills you with dread. A vision of a man flashes across your mind only briefly, “I d-don’t know.” The old man raises an eyebrow at you. “Stay here, girl. I'll be right back.”
Where is he going? What is he going to do with you? Your mind spins and the skin behind your ear stings. 'Now y/n. Do it now.' that deep voice is back. You panic when the old man comes back with two others.
'Use the watch, y/n. Use the watch. NOW!'
---
“On one condition, just one.” Jimin hisses.
As you lie on the ground you feel like the weight of the world just crashed upon you. Your chest feels like it’s going to explode, there’s a ringing in your ears, the skin behind your ear still burns hot.
Jimin noticed the sudden shift in your demeanor, the way your heart begins to race as you start to break down. Every day, starting on the night your boat was capsized, replays in your mind as you start to remember your time on the island. You see Taehyung, who looks at you and then his eyes go wide, realizing the situation, eyes ablaze with growing excitement.
“It worked, didn’t it?” Taehyung’s deep baritone voice breaks the silence. You can only take in shaky breaths as your tear filled eyes try to focus on where you are. You traveled back in time, precisely twelve weeks to the second, you’re back on the island, thrown back into your nightmare like you never left. The only difference now is your left hand clutches a second pocket watch, now broken, and your right hand clutches the amulet.
Jimin looks between you and Taehyung. “What have you done?” Jimin accuses Taehyung, whose eyes haven’t left yours. Taehyung’s lips curve into an encouraging smile, he holds out his chained wrists to you. The vampire whips his head in your direction, but it’s already too late. You throw the amulet into Taehyung’s awaiting hands. You didn’t want to give it to him, but as if Taehyung had pulled strings around your body, you complied to his silent request. The minute the gem touches his skin, the gold markings around his wrists burn away.
The explosion knocks you back meters, everything is broken, everything is dust, you can’t see and your body aches. You hear screaming and yelling and groans of pain. You crawl through the debris searching for a way out.
Red light flashes through the smoke. You choose to crawl towards it, hearing Jin’s loud booming voice.
Taehyung pulls you back, his body behind you like it just materialized out of thin air. "C’mon y/n. Let’s escape."
“This...This is all your fault!” He looked surprised by your reaction.
“What you think you know, you’re mistaken.” He lifts you to your feet easily.
It feels like the air around you is vibrating, your body feels lighter in Taehyung’s presence.
“Please let me go,” you cry.
“Don’t worry, once we escape, we’ll be fine again.” His hand holds your hip tight to his body as he drags you in the direction of the portal.
Seokjin crashes into you both, knocking Taehyung away from you. You hear their struggle, and you’re back to crawling away through the smoke helplessly. Your fingers hit the hard cold gem of the amulet, and you wrap the chain around your fingers.
You can’t remember how you found the stairs, the wood half shattered, or the exit, blown wide open by magic, you can’t remember leaving the mansion, you just remember once your bare feet hit the soft grass outside you ran and you didn’t stop running, until you heard the sounds of waves. You ran until water hit your feet and then you screamed.
---
YAY I FINISHED THIS MONSTER OF A CHAPTER (Get it? I’ll shut up). Thank god, I felt as trapped in this chapter as y/n in that damn room :’). Okay, but now we’re getting somewhere! What do you think is going to happen now? Looks like this story might finally be headed off the island :D. I’m excited!
Questions to ponder for the next chapter: What is Jimin’s secret? Looks like there was a good reason for keeping Taehyung locked away, so what is his ultimate goal? What did Taehyung do to you? And why are Jin and Namjoon no longer friends?! Those are just some of the questions floating around in my mind as I am writing the next chapter, now do you have any questions you want answers to? Let me know! <3
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tiens-letters · 3 years
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Oohh another request haha. I love this thank you and i hope you like it :>
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were the bruises to your heart worth it?
Childe angst
You mulled over your sister's words for the nth time today. Her voice playing on loop inside your head, drifting in and out of a mundane daydream.
"why are you still with him?" you wondered as well as to why you still stuck with Ajax, all these days in 3 years of being wit him. Perhaps it was devotion, it was love to persevere even in the wrath of crumbling times and yet why does your heart ache a little more these days he's been far from you.
The days when he would come home, wounded and tired you were there to nurse him back. Back then it was something you'd do out of care and worry, which was until these recent days where it felt as if it were a job you didnt want to do as he would shrug you off instead and locking himself in another room. You barely remember the time where you both shared a quiet night basking in each other's presence, with limbs in a tangle and your forehead upon his beating chest, it was almost none existent as the home you both had felt so utterly desolate, void of the homey ambience.
Youve endured a month of his uncalled behaviour, breaking you even further as things slipped from your grasp leaving you empty and in agony. There were times you'd silently let tears fall as he slept so soundly beside you, unbothered by your pain. He's become more and more as the harbinger you forgot him to be and not your darling lover Ajax.
He never noticed your puffy eyes, sunken cheeks and dwindling weight yet he noticed all the small mistakes youve made. Where one day, left you with a bruise on the arm due his snake like grip after blowing up on you right after he came home from a long journey to sumeru.
You left. 
Childe came home earlier than expected, once again tired and nursing a few minor wounds on his body. All he wanted was your touch on his skin as you lulled him to sleep only that to his utter surprise that the house was empty. Perhaps you went out for an errand or for another pot of your favourite flower that you kept in the small garden at the back.
Not giving it too much thought, he lounged on the couch awaiting your return, eyelids soon drooping as the soft pillow coaxed him to sleep.
As the grandfather clock swings its pendulum, the sound echoing through the whole room signifying the arrival of midnight, an eerie sound waking Childe back to consciousness. Groggy from rising he scanned the room only to find it darker than before, if it werent for the nearby lamp he switched open, he swore he couldve been swallowed by the darkness.
Were you not home yet?
A dreadful feeling washed over him as your presence was nowhere around the house. He called out for you as he rushed through the halls, a sliver of hope vanishing every corner turned and every door opened led to nothing but misery.
You always leave a note as to where you are going and yet it was another one out of the many abnormalities in his home.
"Darling? Please i hope youre not playing with me!" he calls out to no one in particular, denying the fact of your existence gone with the wind. Your clothes were all intact and so does your other belongings. He thought of every possibility of what couldve befallen his lover, mostly gravitating towards the worst of the worst case scenarious and may the archons forbid, he would never recover from the blow.
"Where are you?!"
Then it dawned on him after much pondering and pulling his falling parts together. The things he did, the words he said it all came flooding through him like a rushing cold river, hitting him fair and square in the chest and came forth an otherworldly pain and regret. He gasps, almost suffocating by the weight of his sins and he wished he had died right then and there in atonement for his crimes.
Soon his vision became bleary as eyes misted over with tears that fell freely from his ocean eyes. He ruined it. Ruined you.
And yet he could not let you go.
Days seemed to pass by so fast that it had already been 5 months of liberation from Ajax's presence. You were slowly building yourself up once again, the temple that was torn down by a single crack, slowly being rebuilt brick by brick.
Your love for Ajax, even if it left quite the bruise to your heart, it was still there, lingering in the air and a part of you missed him so. You wondered how he would be doing, you wondered if he looked for you just as you did when he didnt come home on the date set, you wonder if he wept when he couldnt feel you next to him, just as you did 150 days ago. You wondered if he ever called your name all the while giving a lingering kiss to the painting that hung on the foyer. You wondered if what you both had, had any significance to him at all.
"Stop doing that." you jolted from where you sat, the book falling off your lap as you met your sister's stern glare from across the room.
"Stop doing what?"
"You are thinking about Tartaglia again. Its been over 5 months and that blundering fool never made an effort to find you much less apologize for what he did when you were still there." there was anger in her voice as she recounted the day you came to her door, teary eyed and just utterly torn. Never once did she felt like murdering someone so bad, especially when it had you, her only family involved.
"Im sorry, I-i just--"
"Hush now." she came over in her elegant strides to take you in her arms, the familiar scent of your mother's favorite perfume stayed on her like second skin and you were so grateful that you had her. You let yourself cry in her embrace in quiet comfort.
Childe never stopped.
Secretly searching for atleast a tiny clue of your whereabouts wore him down to the bone and yet he never gave up. How could he? Even if he thought he was so undeserving of you he still pushed on to right what wrong he's made. The details gathered had been insufficient to serve as a lead making Childe more desperate in his attempt to search for you. Nights were spent on scouring places and information seeking and his work, only done in the daytime. He never wasted a wink on sleep as it was an obstacle to getting closer to you and even when his body collapsed due to exhaustion of overworking all he could think was you.
The search has led a certain fatui informant who works for one of the harbingers. With a note slipped in secrecy on a specific time containing an address on the small parchment. It was all Childe needed to fuel his buried hope as he took off towards snezhenaya.
He never imagined he'd arrive right in front of the iron gates that encased the whole estate atop a mountain. The wind bellowed stronger than before as the snow rained harder upon the place. Luckily, he was born in this region and had survived throughout. 
He wondered why you came here, to such a dreadful place but then again, anywhere was better than right by him.
Trying to push open the gates only to be repelled by cryo magic, burning through his gloves and into his skin, leaving fresh burns on his palms as he gasped in pain. Whoever lives here clearly didnt want anyone trespassing much less had a fancy for guests.
He was starting to grow cold as his energy was slowly being siphoned by days of travel, it would only take a matter of time before he passes out.
He calls out, hoping someone inside would hear him.
And you did, only that it seemed like the wind but the time you looked outside the library window, you saw a person outside the gates. The familiar ginger hair tousled with the wind and as you strained your ears to hear and that was when it filled your ears, Ajax's voice. Something you havent heard in quite a long time.
As quick as lightning you stood, half running half gliding through the halways and down the stairs, there was no coherent thought, only him. He was freezing outside the barrier and you pushed yourself more to reach him.
Your figure stepping out through the door was almost like a dream to him. Your name oh so longingly leaving his bluing lips.
"Ajax!" you were in time as you caught his figure which seemed lighter than before. He clung to you, legs desperately tryinf to hold him up. You were here, right in his arms, alive and warm.
"Im sorry. Im so sorry. Please I love you." he rambles on, like a mantra he apologizes over and over again, sobbing and stumbling on his words as he held you so achingly close "Forgive me. Forgive me..."
"Step away from him this instant." your sister, Signora hisses from behind you, just as you were about to coax Ajax she already had a cryo dagger aimed at his head
"Sister please!" you plead, your panic growing as you saw Ajax huffing in labored breaths "Let him come inside or he will freeze to death."
Signora sees the urgency in your eyes and the undying devotion you still hold for the man in your arms. She dematerializes the dagger with a wave of her hand.
"Fine but if I see tears in your eyes then dont you ever dare stop me from what Im going to do to him."
"Thank you sister." you smile at her as she steps backs inside the house and you follow in after her with Ajax leaning on you for support. Once inside, you had him lay on the couch by the fire after helping him out of his winter garments and replacing it for a knitted quilt.
"Im sorry." bloodshot ocean eyes looked at you with so much guilt and a love that you almost forgot "I-i im so so sorry."
"Lets talk about this after youve rested." this time you couldnt look at him, the ache in your heart throbs from the bruises it still nursed. You stood before falling further only for him to catch your shaking hand with his equally shaking one.
"Dont leave." he whimpers, the fear of abandonment increasing as he pleaded for you to stay. instead, you let go of his hand and placed yours instead over his eyes making him uncharacteristically shriek surprising you even more, making you think what other worldly pain he was experiencing as of  the moment. "No! No No.  Please Its dark." 
Ajax cries as he thrashed around because he feared that if he sleeps he would go back to the nightmare of you not by his side and that would leave him all cold and alone just like in the past. he didnt want to go back there, not now when he's seen you. As much as he'd hate to admit, he was truly and utterly terrified but you had to let him rest and with the help of your vision he finally succumbed to a dreamless, peaceful sleep. Only that he calmed down did you notice how much he's lost, where your once sunken cheeks, puffy eyes and weight loss now transferred to him and it made you sick to your stomach. your lips found his forehead as you wished him a good rest, you left the room after bandaging his burned hands to gather yourself for when he finally came to his sensible self.
when you thought it was going to take a full day for him to wake up  only to find him stumbling about in the living room calling your name on his lips like a broken record. you immediately rushed down and burst into the room to find him clutching his head and gasping breathlessly. he looked crazed until he caught sight of you standing by the door, a worried look on your face was when he finally came to. he ran to you, clung to you like it was the last day of the world to live and sighed into your welcoming smell. 
"are you alright now?" you ask him as you part in arms width 
"Hit me." he tells you in all seriousness in his worn out state 
"W-what?" you were certain he was still out of it until he grabbed your hand in an attempt to hit himself to which you stopped immediately 
"Hit me! Scream at me all you want. Call me words Ive called you. Ive broken you! Do you not see that?!" funny how he couldnt see himself, he who's become worse over the course of the months . his tone rose and fell until it was only a whisper above his panting 
"Just dont abandon me." he shuts his eyes, steeling himself for your judgment  until he felt your hands on his face again, making soothing circles on his cheek 
"look at me Ajax." you coax him and he did and he could see assurance and the love for him still remained and he wanted to cry again but tears have long gone abandoned him and left him in such a regretful state, he truly didnt deserve you and you never deserved to be treated that way. "Youve hurt me yes and nothing can change that but I wasnt planning on you leaving you. I couldnt as I love you too much that I wouldnt imagine life without you but Ajax, the things you did to me, to us,  was painful." 
"I know and Im so sorry." he held himself from rambling as the pain in chest grew even more burdensome, something he would willingly carry as he vows to himself to never hurt you and if he did  then he would tear himself down "I love you" 
"and I to you Ajax. Just promise me that when you are having a hard time, let us talk it out and not result to screaming and painful banters." 
"I promise darling. on my life and everything in this world. I vow to never cause you pain like I did and to only give you love and care that someone like you deserve." 
there he was, your Ajax. He was home. 
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oh-ranpo · 3 years
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stay, don’t go.
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pairing: bucky barnes x reader warnings: angsty angst an: I don’t know, I just wrote it lmao word count: 2.4k+
“And if he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me!”
You kept hearing those words replaying over and over in your head. You knew that he had been upset about Sam giving up the shield, but you were surprised at how you hadn’t seen these particular emotions coming. There were a lot of things that Bucky worried about, but this burden of a thought broke your heart even more than usual. It was the most transparent he had been in months, and you hadn’t even been the one he was opening up to. Not that it mattered all that much, but now, you were struggling to find a way to help with the newly re-opened wound.
After the therapy session with Sam, Bucky had withdrawn into himself even more. Even though you had been waiting right outside the door, it was almost as if he didn’t see you at all when he walked through it. You had reached for his hand, and he had let you take his, but he didn’t say a word to you. 
He’s had a rough day, you had told yourself. Getting arrested on top of everything else he was dealing with had to be a lot. He just needed some time to process it all. 
Only, now, it was five hours later and he still hadn’t said a thing. You managed to get some hums in response to your prompting, and a shrug here and there, but no actual words fell from his lips. The anger from earlier in the day had dissipated, and now his shoulders drooped as he seemed to be carrying the world on his shoulders. Not that this was anything new to you either. It was a look you had long grown used to, but after hearing his outburst at therapy, you had a better idea than usual as to what was causing his pain this time.
Bucky had taken a spot in one of the chairs in the corner of your shared hotel room, and his blue eyes were fixed on the wall in front of him as he seemed to be attempting to stare a hole through it. You could practically hear the gears in his head turning, and you were sure that if you could read his thoughts, you wouldn’t be able to handle the emotional turmoil that lay inside. When you couldn’t get him to talk, you decided to order some food - something that you knew he liked - and then sat down in the chair next to him. 
“Food should be here soon,” you told him, as if he couldn’t hear you placing the delivery order just five minutes prior from the other side of the room. This time, Bucky didn’t even bother acknowledging what you had said as his hand came up to rest under his chin. He was still staring at the same spot on the wall, and his eyes were squinting slightly as he seemed to be deep in thought.
You sighed as you glanced down at your watch and saw that it was getting later in the evening, and you wondered what Sam was up to. The three of you had parted ways after the police station, and Sam had barely said anything to you or Bucky when you left. You could make out some of their conversation through the door during therapy, but really the only part you had heard clearly were Bucky’s words. And it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the ‘he’ Bucky had been referring to was Steve. This was what his whole trip had been about in the first place.
You knew that you couldn’t go the whole night without addressing the elephant in the room, but you also knew how Bucky was when it came to opening up. Even with you. You knew that, besides Sam, you were one of the only people that he trusted since Steve passed away, and you didn’t take that lightly. You really only pressed when you knew that it would be good for him to talk about something, and this was one of those times.
“Bucky?” You started again, using his name this time in an attempt to draw his attention away from the wall. He didn’t look over at you at first, but slowly, as you waited patiently, they started to trail over in your direction. When his eyes finally met yours, you gave him a small, sad smile as you leaned against the arm of the chair closest to him. “About what you said to Sam today…” 
You didn’t get a chance to finish your thought before Bucky was swiftly moving out of his seat. The movement caught you by surprise, as he had seemed so relaxed - well, as relaxed as he could be given the situation - but now he was running his hands through his hair as he started pacing in circles.
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” he mumbled, as his hand ran over his face, and his other gloved hand shoved into the pockets of his jeans. Slowly, you stood up from your own chair and made your way over to him, your hand reaching out for the sleeve of his jacket before he harshly pulled it out of your grasp. 
His entire reaction was confusing you because usually, he just shut down. He didn’t get this visibly worked up, he just shut down and refused to give you any emotion or feedback on how he was feeling. Now, you could tell that he was upset, and from the look on his face, he knew that his expression and actions were giving him away.
“But you know you should,” you continued as you tried to reach for him again, this time more slowly. “Let me be there for you, Buck.” The second part of your statement came out at nearly a whisper, but it had been loud enough he had heard you and he started shaking his head.
“You shouldn’t have to. I’m- I’m fine. I just need to go-“ Now, he had started moving towards the hotel door, and you felt your heart start to race in your chest. He was trying to leave.
“Wait, no, don’t go!” You cried, as you rushed to stop him, and Bucky’s hand hesitated over the doorknob. “Please. Stay. Talk to me.” You hated how broken your words sounded, but after everything that had taken place over the last few months, you couldn’t bear the thought of him walking out of that door and leaving you alone. Hesitantly, Bucky looked back over his shoulder at you, and you could see that same, decades-old pain swimming in his light blue irises.
“You’d be better off if I did. I’m doing nothing for you here.” Earlier, when you thought the comment about Steve was the most painful thing you had heard him say, this was a close second. You shook your head firmly as you took another step closer to him, and instead of reaching for the door knob fully, Bucky allowed his hand to fall back down to his side.
“No, Bucky, I wouldn’t be better off. I lived five years without you. Five years of never knowing if you were going to come back. I’ve known a life without you, and that is something I never want to have to experience again.”
Bucky’s shoulders deflated at your words, and you could see a flash of something in his expression that gave you a sliver of hope. You knew how he felt about you, and you knew that, deep down, he was well aware of how you felt about him. That was a secret you never tried to keep from him, and the one thing he never tried to hide from you either. 
After he didn’t move any closer to the door, and he didn’t respond to your words either, you slowly reached out for him once more, but this time, he didn’t pull away. You took ahold of his gloved hand and moved closer to him. The pain and conflict was still present in his expression, but as you lifted your other hand to cup his cheek, you hoped that maybe you would be able to find a way to bring him some comfort.
“Come sit back down with me, please,” you whispered, and for a moment, he didn’t move. You knew that if he really wanted to leave, you would have to let him, but your heart started to crack at the mere thought. Thankfully, after another heavy moment of silence, Bucky nodded and allowed you to lead him back to the end of the bed. You didn’t drop his hand, and when the two of you sat down next to one another, you sat close enough so that your leg was pressed up against his. 
“I know you said you don’t want to talk about it, but I heard what you said to Sam today. About Steve,” you murmured, your gaze falling to where your hands were entwined and resting on his thigh. “And Bucky, you know that isn’t true, right? Steve… he thought the world of you. He would have, and did, do anything for you. He knew you, Buck, just as I do, and he saw the heart that you have and knew that you were worth every bit of it.”
When you looked up, you could see the tears swimming in his eyes as he tried to hold them back. Steve had always been a sensitive subject, and you knew that, but you also knew that what you said was true. You had known Steve, and you had seen and heard the way he felt about his best friend. Before he was Captain America, Bucky had always been there for him, and after he was Captain America, he was there to return the favor without hesitation. He never held Bucky’s Hydra days against him because he knew, just as you did, that he had no control over that. He was a victim; a pawn in a much bigger game than he ever could have won on his own. He was still paying for it, even after all this time. You just hoped that someday he’d find a way to forgive himself.
“I just don’t know sometimes,” Bucky managed to choke out after another heavy silence. “I mean, I’m trying, but the nightmares and the constant reminders of what I did…” His voice trailed off as he fixed his eyes on the window across the room in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. You knew that he hated crying in front of anyone, despite you having told him numerous times that he didn’t have to hide that part of himself from you.
“That wasn’t you, at least, not really,” you replied. “You’re James Buchanan Barnes, White Wolf.” This time you nudged him in the shoulder with your own and he cracked half a smile as his eyes flickered back over to you. “The Winter Soldier was not you. And before you try to argue with me, I’ve seen him and I’ve seen you, and I can tell you that he is nowhere near the same guy as the one that’s sitting right here next to me.”
Bucky cringed at the reminder that you had been forced to bear witness to his time as The Winter Soldier when Zemo had activated him a few years before the blip. He had spent months apologizing, despite not having done anything to you, and you cursed yourself for bringing it up again. 
“I mean, the metal arm is the only thing you guys have in common, and on the Bucky I know… it’s actually kind of sexy.” You added the last part lightly, and when Bucky looked over at you again, you waggled your eyebrows playfully. He just shook his head as the corners of his lips turned up just a bit, before his gaze fell to his lap. The hand you were holding now was the metal one, and you followed his gaze as you released your hold on it before slowly slipping his glove off. He flexed the metal appendages as soon as the glove was gone, and you reached for it as your fingers traced over the cool metal.
“It’s a curse,” he mumbled, his eyes still locked on where it was resting in his lap. “I mean, Shuri was nice enough to make it better than the old one but…” 
You shook your head as you grabbed it before lifting it to your lips and pressing a small kiss to the back of it.
“It’s not a curse, it’s a part of you. And because of that, I love it. Just like I love you.”
Bucky inhaled sharply at those three little words, even though you had been saying them practically non-stop since he had returned. You had said it before he was gone too, but you knew, back then, that he didn’t believe it. 
“I do love you, Bucky. So please… don’t leave.” 
For a moment, you could tell that Bucky had almost completely forgotten about how he had been about to walk out. It was a gift that you possessed that he had never truly understood. Even though you were talking about his problems, it didn’t feel nearly as bad as it did when he talked about his problems with anyone else. Not that he opened up enough to anyone else to really do much good. 
“I couldn’t leave,” he murmured as your eyes lifted to meet his. “You’re the only one that makes me feel… well, anything.”
Your heart fluttered in your chest as that was practically him saying he loved you too, and you couldn’t help but smile. 
“And thank you,” he continued. “For what you said.” You nodded in response as you leaned against his shoulder, his metal hand falling to your thigh as you wrapped your arms around his waist. 
“I’m always here for you to talk to, you know that? Though, you do need to talk to Sam too. He’s going through a hard time just like you are, and he needs his friends to be there with him too.” 
Slowly, Bucky nodded, but before either of you could continue, there was a knock on the hotel room door, and you were reminded of the take-out order that you had placed earlier.
“You hungry?” You asked with another smile as you stood up from the end of the bed and moved towards the door.
“I could eat,” you heard him respond, and you chuckled as you pulled open the door to grab your food. 
Things were far from perfect, but every day the two of you took baby steps towards healing together. And really, you couldn’t ask for much more than that. 
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dr3amofagame · 3 years
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take a shot - dsmp!mcc fic
MCC FIC! MCC FIC! MCC FIC! To be clear, I outlined this weeks back, when teams were first announced, and I took very very little from the actual MCC itself when it came to actually writing this - all I have are the same teams, but it really exists in its own continuity outside of Real Life MCC (obviously, as it’s using the dsmp characters) and everything like that as a whole! Just to be clear :D)
The worldbuilding is also Absolutely Bullshitted start to finish, as well as any and all medical information. Rip. We’re here for a good time, not for a long or particularly accurate one - hope you guys enjoy regardless!! I had a LOT of fun writing this fic, dsmp!mcc aus my BELOVED
title obviously from win it all by derivakat
---
Michael loves MCC.
But it’s one thing to love the normal Championships and quite another when his team looks like it’s falling apart from the inside out - and as the games progress, it becomes more and more obvious that losing, this time, might not be an option.
tws: C!QUACKITY CRITICAL (sorry i promise i love him but he is NOT portrayed very nicely here, very dark portrayal of him), implied trauma, abuse, torture, panic attacks, manipulation, gaslighting, needles, hospitals, MCC-typical violence, emotional distress, prison arc, pandora’s vault themes
(16k words !! :D long boi) 
Michael loves MCC.
Of course he does! It’s fucking MCC - like, who wouldn’t love it? MCC is how he met so many people, how he met Dream, that one time, the two of them teamed with Techno and Burren and winning it all - MCC is a goddamn blast and he’s thankful every time he gets the invite that he’s able to compete. 
Still- it’s hard not to be a little more nervous, now. 
Dream gave him an invite to his SMP right after they teamed, but it wasn’t until months later that Michael actually cashed it in. Entering the server, it became very obvious very quickly that the DreamSMP, as it’s known, isn’t quite the same as its shiny media appearance. The spawn was covered in blocks, creeper holes littering the ground. The people he passed were grey-faced, too stoic to be the same, smiling faces he remembers from only less than a year ago. The air stings of gunpowder and iron. Worst of all are The Crater, shoddily covered in glass that does nothing to hide the damage done, rending the server in two straight down to bedrock, and the Prison, looming on the horizon. Absent-mindedly, Michael rubs at his left shoulder, remembering the Warden setting the prongs of his trident against the skin in warning, just hard enough to barely draw blood. Yeah, that place is bad news. 
The fact of the matter is the server is a mess. And like, okay, whatever, Michael gets it. Everyone has their issues - it’s just the DreamSMP seems to have more than most. Despite his original worries, it’s honestly not been as bad as he originally feared upon logging in; yeah, Bad and Puffy and Foolish and the rest of them are a little more trigger-happy than he might’ve expected (and he’s not going to say that Bad crying over turtles wasn’t a little startling when he first joined, but honestly he thinks Bad is just Like That.) There’s way more death than he’s really comfortable with, and Puffy keeps mentioning Bad murdering her son (Foolish? He thinks? The guy is also a literal God but like, families are weird, who’s he to judge) in a way that’s way too casual to come from anyone entirely well-adjusted, but overall his experience has been alright. 
Still, he gets the feeling that nobody exactly wants the outside world to know about the issues with the place. It’s not an issue for him usually, not when his sleeping schedule is the exact opposite of most of the people he knows and he spends most of his time screwing around on the server, anyway (usually harassing the Warden until the asscrack of dawn if he’s being honest) but with MCC, with everyone watching - he’s starting to get why everyone from the SMP was so damn tense all the time, now. 
Anyway- he loves MCC, he really does. But even that doesn’t stop him from wincing when he sees his team card, the names Dream and Quackity and Sapnap written in Scott’s looping handwriting. He’s not seen Sapnap at all since joining the server, has only heard a little about his place (something Kingdom, not that he was paying attention) from Foolish, and has no idea what the man has been up to. Quackity is his own unique can of worms; Michael doesn’t know exactly what’s up with him and his country, but everything he’s heard so far has sounded like nothing but bad news, casinos and schemes and a trail of wreckage following wherever he goes. And Dream-
Michael looks out his window, chewing on his lip, looking directly in the direction where he knows the prison stands, impenetrable, intimidating. Where Dream’s cell is, in line with his house, where he’s been hidden for months without a trace. Where the Warden had confronted him that one night, a dangerous gleam in his eyes, blood splattered on his boots. 
There’s no real ignoring an MCC invite - not without good reason, not without the admins picking up on something being up. There’s not really a choice, here, but for Michael to duck his head down and pretend everything’s fine just like everyone else from the SMP. He directs one last glance at the prison before walking away, setting the invite on his counter. If he’s lucky, everything will turn out fine. 
(He ignores the part of him that asks what’s going to happen if they’re not. No point in worrying about what hasn’t happened yet - right?) 
---
Weeks pass, the tournament creeping closer, and Michael gets no alerts from his teammates on his comm. No one comes to his house to check in, say hi, not even a ‘hey, we’re kinda competing in a massive tournament in like, seven days, you ready?’ Hell, he even starts checking his goddamn mailbox for a letter or something only to come up empty-handed every time. Never mind performing well - it’ll be a miracle if their team manages to arrive at the tournament at all. 
It isn’t until the day before MCC, the sun high in the sky at what must be near noon, when he finally gets a message on his comm. Michael fishes it out with a frustrated huff, seeing Quackity’s name pop up first when he manages to turn on the screen. 
Quackity whispers to you: you down for some practice?
It takes a couple seconds for him to blink away his shock - out of everyone he expected to arrange practice for their team, Quackity was definitely not at the top of the list. He half-thought they would have to drag him to the tournament kicking and screaming; from what he’s heard, he’s been nothing if not devoted to his country. Shaking his head, he goes to reply; practice is practice, and their team really needs it. 
You whisper to Quackity: sure. practice server?
Quackity whispers to you: yes
Pulling up his server list, Michael scrolls for the practice server, finding it and then letting the server transfer do the rest. A few nausea-inducing seconds later, he’s at the practice server spawn, standing in the middle of a neatly paved road surrounded by colorful arenas and signs. 
“Michael!” 
He turns; there, by the Battle Box arenas, Quackity is waving at him, already dressed in a red varsity jacket and a pair of shorts, the jacket bearing a front pocket embroidered with a rabbit and a large R stitched onto the back. He reaches behind him for a red bag, throws it his way for Michael to catch mid-air. 
“Got these outfits for us last minute - hope it’s alright with you,” Quackity smiles, and Michael tries to prevent his eyes from clinging to the scar spanning the entire left side of his face. “Anyway- how are you, man? I feel like we haven’t seen each other at all on the server. How’s it been?”
“I’m good- it’s been good.” Michael opens the drawstring bag, cataloguing the contents - there’s a jacket, just like Quackity’s, a pair of shorts and sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a headband, all in varying shades of red and white. “Nice outfit- thank you. Is anyone else around?”
Quackity waves a hand behind him. “Yeah- Dream’s here. Should be coming out of the arena soon, actually.” Michael looks over behind his shoulder to where he’s pointing - there, walking down the stairs, is another figure wearing all red that must be Dream. “There he is- hey Dream! Michael’s here!” 
Dream hurries down the stairs; unlike Quackity, he is wearing the sweatpants along with the same jacket, hands stuffed in his pockets. His hair is a lot longer than Michael remembers, pulled back behind his head in a ponytail, mask, as usual, fastened over his face. He settles behind Quackity, giving Michael a small wave; his hands are covered by a pair of fingerless gloves. 
“Hey, Dream!” Michael grins; it’s been such a long time since he’s seen his old teammate, and despite the circumstances and everything that’s apparently happened since then, it’s still pretty damn nice to see him. “How’ve you been?”
Dream seems to freeze for a moment, before shaking his head. “Good,” he says, quiet, sounding almost breathless. Michael’s eyes go to the slivers of skin that show on either side of his face, to the slight shake to his hands. 
“You alright? You look a little pale,” Michael asks, and he definitely doesn’t miss the way Dream stills at the words, muscles tensing, gaze averting to the side even with the mask - doesn’t miss how Quackity steps forward, looking Michael in the eye as he tosses a casual arm around Dream’s shoulder, smiling brightly. 
“Don’t worry. This idiot has just been practicing a bit too much before you got here,” Quackity gestures with a flippant twist of his wrist, “You know how he gets. Right, Dream?” 
“Um- yeah. Ha,” Dream responds just a little too late to be strictly normal, shoulders tight and nearly pulled to his ears under Quackity’s arm. “Practice- I’m a little out of shape.” 
“You sure?” Dream’s breathing hitches and Quackity steps forward, just a little bit, eyes still fixed firmly on Michael’s own even as he shifts his gaze to try and look at Dream. “We can take a break if you need, Dream-”
“I’m fine!” Dream smiles with a little stuttered breath that turns into a small laugh, “It’s- uh. It’s fine. Thanks Michael, but we can practice. Not much time left to waste, you know?”
“You sure, Dream?” Quackity says, suddenly, voice soft and sincere. “I guess it has been a while since you’ve been able to practice- you sure you don’t need a break?”
Dream shakes his head firmly. “No- it’s fine. Really- where’s Sapnap? He should be coming soon, right?”
“If you say so, pal,” Quackity replies, doubt coloring his tone as he pulls out his communicator. “I told Sapnap to come, he replied a couple minutes back; he should be here soon, I think. You want to go meet him at spawn?”
Dream nods, and they begin to set out towards the center of the server, Quackity and Dream quickly taking the lead as Michael falls back. After a minute, Quackity falls into casual conversation, rambling about something as Dream nods, Michael trailing behind the two of them and adding his own input as he sees fit. Sapnap arrives soon after, and the noise level picks up even more after that, Sapnap and Quackity falling into an easy rhythm of banter and quips as they set out to practice Battle Box and Parkour Tag, carefully working their way through the different games under Dream’s tutelage and advice. 
And here’s the thing- Michael isn’t stupid. Yeah, he’d hardly consider himself a top tier MCC player, and he’ll be the first to say that he’s nowhere near qualified to deal with the literal laundry list of issues that affect every member of the SMP, but even so, he’s not clueless. He’s good at looking at multiple sides of a situation, doesn’t easily give into intimidation or manipulation, and he’s observant as all hell. So when Quackity wraps his hand around Dream’s wrist, fingers wrapping all the way around until his knuckles pale, when Dream winces, muscles in his arm locking before letting it go limp, not protesting when Quackity drags him forward except in the tiny, tight expressions that flit across his face every few moments, tight and gasping and shaky at the corners - Michael notices. 
“See you at the tourney, yeah?” Quackity calls to him after practice with a wink before clapping Dream on the back, Michael watching silently as the muscles of Dream’s neck pull tight, head ducking to his chest. “Good job, big guy,” he says, laughing. “Keep this up for tomorrow and we’ll be good.”
“Mmhm,” Dream mutters after a brief second, “We’re- we’re gonna win.”
“Betting on it, pal,” Quackity replies, voice light in a way that completely fails to explain Dream’s full-body flinch. “MCC, huh? Can’t fucking wait.”
“See you tomorrow, Quackity,” Michael says as he presses DreamSMP on his server list, pretending that a chill doesn’t crawl down his spine at the smile that the other man throws his way in return. 
---
There’s no real easy answer.
Michael comes to that conclusion at some point in the middle of the night, restless and pumped on way too much adrenaline to go to sleep. He can’t outright antagonize Quackity, can’t let him know he knows something’s up - not when Quackity had already spent the majority of practice keeping one dark, narrowed eye on him at all times, lips pursed in a slight frown whenever he thought Michael wasn’t looking. He’s not stupid; whatever’s happening between Dream and Quackity is secret, and kept that way for a reason. His mind goes back to the brief flashes of anxiety that had moved over Dream’s face before he could react fast enough to school them back into a carefully neutral position; whatever it is, he doubts it bodes well for Dream in the slightest. 
Unfortunately, his hands are pretty damn tied. He knows public opinion on the masked man in the server is overwhelmingly negative, but has no damn idea how far it extends. How many people are in on whatever’s happening in that damn prison? How many people know what would make Dream, bold and bright and recklessly confident in all of Michael’s (rather limited) memories, into someone so quiet, unimposing, nervous? His head spins with the possibilities, with the ever-present reminder to not make a fuss, let the tournament pass on, to never, ever let anyone find out what’s going on within the SMP. Should he do anything at all? 
Too soon, it’s morning, and he drags himself out of bed with a groan to glare at the sun streaming through his window. Somewhere, Quackity and Dream and Sapnap are also waking up, are preparing to compete in one of the biggest damn tournaments to exist. Michael sighs, glancing over to where he’s set out his outfit, freshly pressed and waiting. Any other day, and he’d probably be fucking ecstatic. Here, he buries his head in his hands, muffling a frustrated groan against the palm of his hands. 
He loves MCC, but he sure as hell doesn’t like whatever the hell is going on with the rest of his team. 
Getting into the server goes smoothly enough. The outfit is comfortable and looks damn good, props to whoever made the thing, and the sight of the multicolored crowd successfully manages to tamp down some of his nerves. He busies himself with saying hi to all of the members waiting in the lobby, happy for the chance to talk to some people he hasn’t seen in ages, feels the night of anxieties wash away with every stupid joke told and burst of laughter drawn from his lungs. 
They come back the moment Scott steps up in front of the lobby. “Teams, it’s time to head to your team rooms! The tournament will begin in fifteen minutes,” Scott says, expression sunny and bright, “we’re wishing you all luck for a great performance today! May the best team win!” 
In a flurry of movement, they’re all whisked to their rooms for a final few minutes of preparation and morale-boosting, and Michael enters the glorified dressing room to Quackity, Dream, and Sapnap already standing there, seemingly in the middle of conversation. 
“You ready to win?” Sapnap yells, and Quackity whoops, and Michael manages a small cheer of his own. They’re all visibly nervous; Quackity has scarcely stopped moving, pacing from one side of the room to the next; Sapnap is basically jumping in place where he stands. Dream stands at the very back of the room, looking tense; Michael directs a wave his way and gets a small one in return. 
“Game plan, game plan,” Quackity mutters, “do we know what games we’re playing first? Dream?”
He nods at Dream, and Dream stands up straighter, mouth falling open.
“Oh- um,” he hesitates, a strand of hair flopping forwards as he tilts his head in thought. “We’ll want to save Parkour Tag and Battle Box towards the end- maybe something more high-risk at the beginning, but not first, just to boost morale,” his teeth catch on his bottom lip, “Maybe something like To Get To The Other Side? If they have that- or Build Mart, if we can get it out of the way.” He shakes his head. “If that’s alright- I mean-”
“Great,” Quackity cuts in smoothly. “Sapnap? Michael? Does that sound good to you?”
Sapnap flashes a thumbs up, and Michael nods. “Yeah, sounds great. Thanks, Dream.”
Dream’s head snaps towards him, mouth slightly open in shock. The sight of it makes Michael’s gut twist uncomfortably; there’s something about how surprised he is, at the nervous hesitancy with which he spoke that was nothing like what Michael remembers of his easy leadership in that MCC with Techno, that doesn’t sit right at all in his stomach. Even with his expression largely hidden, there’s no mistaking the clear, genuine surprise on his face at the idea of someone thanking him - Michael tries to tell himself that he’s reading too much into it as Quackity continues to speak. 
“We’re going to win,” he grins, just a little too sharp at the edges, “so get out there and play like your lives depend on it, yeah?” 
Sapnap cheers, and again, Michael and Dream follow. It’s not until he’s outside the door, within the clamor of screaming teams and people counting down with the timer that Michael realizes that Quackity was staring at Dream the entire time. 
---
Michael curses, frustrated, when he’s knocked off a platform again, making sure to flip Krinios the bird before he falls into the Void entirely. When he makes it to the other side, Quackity and Dream are already deep in conversation - if you can call it that. Even from here, it looks worryingly one-sided.
“-were you thinking, falling off there-” Quackity’s hand is on Dream’s shoulder, Dream standing stock-still in front of him, “you better be taking this seriously, Dream.”
“Hey- sorry about that,” Michael calls with a wave, “I swear Krinios had it out for me. At least I made it across, right?” 
Quackity turns, startled, and in the split-second that it takes for him to register Michael’s appearance, his expression smooths over into something friendlier, more inviting. “Michael!” He says, enthusiastic, and it’s like the anger that had filled his words just seconds before was never there at all. “Don’t- don’t worry about it, man. We all kinda dropped the ball on that one, right Dream?” 
The words should be encouraging, just simple ribbing between teammates. Dream’s mask is still ducked down, facing the floor, shoulders slightly hunched in. 
“Um- Sapnap did pretty good,” Dream says, quiet, “he got top ten, right?” 
Michael looks over to where Sapnap is standing a little ways away, seemingly busy typing on his communicator. Quackity laughs, sharp and loud. 
“True,” he punches Dream lightly on the upper arm, and Michael watches the way he freezes the second the fist makes contact with his jacket, “come on, man, you’re losing your touch. You really gonna let yourself get beat by Sapnap?” he shakes his head, still laughing as he pulls open his communicator. “Jesus- even I beat you in that last round. Watch your spot, Dream, I’m coming for you.” 
“I mean,” Michael says when a second passes and it becomes clear Dream isn’t going to respond, “Dream was doing pretty well with the last two rounds, right? I thought I saw his name pretty far up there.” 
Quackity takes a second before responding, again, staring at Michael oddly as he does. “That’s true,” he concedes, “hey- I was just making a joke, don’t worry. It’s all for fun, right Dream?”
His gaze goes to Dream, and automatically, Michael follows. Dream seems to startle under the attention, twitching Quackity’s direction in the awkward silence that results. Michael watches as the mask slants slightly to face Quackity, as Quackity looks back at him with an intense, unreadable expression, shoulders strangely tense. Whatever unsaid conversation that seems to pass between them is entirely lost on Michael as Dream finally responds with a sudden, almost strangled bark of laughter. 
“Yeah- just jokes,” his fingers twist over one another, hands held close together in front of his body, “Though Qu- Q’s right, I- I should probably pick it up. We’re playing to win.” 
A ding alerts them to the end of the round, and Michael steadies himself in preparation for the teleport to the next map. As he turns, he catches Quackity’s expression, once again, and the self-satisfied smirk on his face as he continues to look at Dream. 
“Good luck,” he calls just before they enter the next round, and tries not to think too much about what he’s saying it for. 
---
They manage pretty well for the rest of To Get To The Other Side, finishing with a second place overall that got cheers from Sapnap and even a slight smile from Dream. Hole in the Wall, on the other hand, has been a lot less successful - though Michael will be the first to say that it’s his fault. His practice in the last few months has been lackluster (at best) and it definitely showed in the arena. 
He leans over the railing, watching Dream and Sapnap through the crowd of participants left that have yet to be knocked out by the giant walls of slime. Quackity’s standing next to him, having been similarly thrown off the platform early in the round, expression tight and lips set in a small frown, and looking at him for too long makes Michael uneasy so he looks down at the arena again. They’re in the last round, and they’re supposed to be making callouts anyway for their teammates still participating below.
Without thinking, once again, Michael looks over at Dream. Sue him, he knows the guy best and Dream has been acting odd all day, to put it lightly. Even ignoring the part of him that’s screaming that something’s wrong, that there’s something up that has everything to do with the beanie-wearing man standing besides him, it only takes a few minutes of observation to see that Dream is - for the lack of a better word - off. Michael watches as he vaults over another wall, only barely managing to bring himself to his feet in time on the other side. Dream’s movements - even to his untrained eye - have always been fluid, effortless. He jumped and vaulted and ran like gravity didn’t exist, like every physics-bending maneuver he made was as easy as breathing. Michael remembers watching him sprint over the parkour course before, time completely unmatched as he appraised each obstacle and basically flew his way through, sounding hardly even winded when he whooped loudly in victory from the top of the salmon ladder. In total contrast, Dream jerks away from the coming wall again, movements sloppy and harsh as he scrambles to the other side of the disc-shaped arena. He’s still fast, and still making jumps, but everything is strangely angled where it had once been fluid, stopping and starting suddenly, moving in bursts of speed and then skidding to sudden stops. 
“WEST!” Quackity shouts, and Michael watches as Dream’s head turns jerkily at the noise before he dives out of the way of the incoming wall and manages, barely, to twist around the side. Michael winces at the tumble he takes on the opposite side, clutching his chest slightly as he stands back up again. 
“North!” Michael calls, because he should probably actually help his teammates, huh, and Dream manages to move around this one better, jumping through a hole in the wall and tucking and rolling as he lands. “Nice jump- East!” 
It’s an easy wall, thankfully, and both Sapnap and Dream visibly take a breath as they stand in place for the wall to pass over them. As it passes, a droning buzz comes from the speakers, and the walls below them speed up. 
“South-to your right!” Michael shouts as they turn, eyes turning between all of the false walls before finally focusing on the right one, his shout echoed by a similar one from Quackity. At each one of the calls from the man besides him, Dream seems to tighten further, movements increasingly erratic as he dodges and weaves around the walls. There’s still a lot of people left - Michael follows Dream through the crowd with a frown, watching as he and Sapnap jump the next wall, Dream’s foot nearly catching on the top edge. 
“West-” Dream flinches, jumping over the two-high wall at the last possible second, landing completely off-balance on the other side and falling to the ground. He scrambles to his feet, but there’s already a wall at the west edge of the platform - his head turns, still searching for the wall - Quackity yells.
“LEFT!”
Something in Dream’s movements seem to shift, even in the distance - Michael watches as he immediately, almost robotically, steps to the left at Quackity’s voice, not even jumping, not turning his head to take in his surroundings, just moving instinctually at the words, and slams into the coming wall hard enough to get flung into the middle hole in the platform. Quackity curses, fist crashing into the railing as Dream falls and the chat message shows on their communicators, and a second later he’s materialized beside them, face oddly slack and mask focused somewhere faraway. 
“Shit,” Dream mutters when he seems to come back into himself, shaking his head and then turning to the two of them, still by the railing, “Dammit. Sorry, I-“ 
“Don’t worry about it,” Michael cuts in before Quackity can speak. “You did good.” 
“I-” Dream catches Quackity’s gaze, then pushes his head away, mask facing the ground. Something about it and his raised shoulders and the dark, angry glare that Quackity directs over the railing when Michael looks back makes him shift in place, uneasy. “Could’ve done better, ha. Sorry.” 
The three of them watch, silent, as Sapnap continues to compete. He manages to get pretty damn far, making it to the top three, but getting knocked off-balance by a wall and off the platform just before the timer sounds. Michael cringes back at the sound of it over the speakers, watches the other contestants settle into place, panting, in victory.
“Great job, Sapnap,” Michael shouts when he materializes in front of them, and the other two are quick to echo his sentiments. If they sound a little duller than they should be, if Quackity’s jaw seems clenched and Dream’s all coiled up like a spring, far too tense, it’s from placing lower than they wanted and slipping in the rankings, not anything else.
Keep your head down, Michael reminds himself, and everything’s gonna be fine. And if the words ring more and more hollow with every repetition, well, that’s for him to ignore and for everyone else to never, ever find out. 
---
Buildmart is chosen next, which they all groan at, but at least it’s going to be out early and not left to ruin all of their scores later. Michael takes his place at his build, one third from the left side - it’s some abomination of colored glass and white concrete meant, if he is to guess, to emulate a stained glass window. He’s between Dream and Sapnap, the former positioned in front of a flower-dotted grass field with a picnic table, the latter staring down a miniature car with black concrete for tires and stone buttons for detailing. He breathes a steady breath as they await the countdown, already planning for his trip to the Colors section to grab materials for his build and the others’- Buildmart isn’t his strongest game, but it’s not his worst either, and he’s damn well going to try his best. 
He skids into the portal with an armful of colored concrete and glass, spilling half of its contents inside a chest before running to his build. He pulls himself to the crafting bench to craft - he squints at his build - he needs four red glass panes and 3 yellow, right. As he brings the panes to his inventory and begins laying out the frame of the build in concrete, he looks over to Dream, who is noticeably struggling with placing the flowers in his build and getting the placements to match that of the original. He knocks away a white tulip with a muffled curse, sounding frantic as he looks back to the original, and places it again to no avail. 
It seems that his struggle hasn’t only caught Michael’s attention, as the statue to the leftmost side of the room explodes in gold coins and confetti - Quackity has finished his build and is now looking at Dream with narrowed eyes. Dream places the flower again, and the build refuses to respond. Quackity’s gaze narrows further, and he opens his mouth-
“Hey Quackity!” Michael starts speaking before he’s even noticed that he’s opened his mouth, fumbling as he regains awareness of what he’s doing and tries to find a direction for his sentence to go, “do you have any concrete?”
Quackity looks at him like he’s grown a second head, which is fair, considering there’s a block of white concrete pretty obviously visible in his hand. “Um- no? Weren’t you supposed to go to Colors?”
Dream finally manages to place the tulip where it belongs, and the build between them disappears in another explosion of gold glitter. Michael laughs awkwardly. 
“Sorry- haha. I got a little mixed up.” He places the last piece of white concrete, watching as his own build disappears. A little wooden cottage takes its place, made of what appears to be just oak wood and cobblestone. “Are you going to get wood? Or should I?”
“I- You get wood,” Quackity shakes his head, visibly frustrated, “And I’ll get stone. We have to hurry, we’re falling behind.” 
After that, Michael finds it a little too easy - or maybe not easy, but at least tolerable, to interrupt when Quackity looks a little like he’s about to fall on the side of being angry versus just annoyed, stepping between his angry glares at Dream with a forced smile and an incessant string of annoying questions- 
“Hey Quackity, do you have any spare iron?”
“Hey Quackity, I think you placed that a little too far back.”
“Hey Quackity, can you take a look to see what I placed wrong?” 
It’s not perfect. It’s hardly even functional; Michael knows that Quackity has begun with the habit of directing death glares at his back whenever he thinks he’s not looking, his responses to Michael’s questions becoming more and more clipped, often paired with irritated grumbles and sighs. Sapnap, when Michael looks at him, seems largely engrossed with his own builds, but he’s also begun looking over at the two of them with a vaguely dissatisfied expression, and Dream only seems to be getting more jumpy with every frustrated growl out of Quackity’s mouth. Even Michael’s forced levity and falsely ignorant questions can’t do much against Quackity’s anger when they walk out of Buildmart dead last for the minigame, dropping their team all the way down to seventh in the overall rankings, and the tension within the team as they walk out - Quackity nearly stomping, Dream following with his hands wringing around each other and head ducked fearfully - is almost enough to make Michael scream. He looks at the scoreboard with a worried expression as he enters the Decision Dome, trying to quell the sinking feeling in his gut. 
There’s still five more games to go, and he’s not sure how long they can last before something snaps. 
---
Battle Box is chosen next, and they react to the game with quiet cheers and slightly grim faces. Michael’s been in enough MCCs to know that this game, of any, is crucial - after their lacking performances in the last two games, a good showing at Battle Box will be crucial to pull them back into the competition and raise morale. With Sapnap and Dream, if this were any normal game, they should be able to sweep through a good amount of the competition without much effort. As it is, though, Michael looks at the two more combat-oriented members of his team with a worried expression, the two barely even able to meet each other’s eyes. Their interactions so far have been less than promising- if they can’t hold it together for this round, well. 
Michael shakes his head. They’ll do fine. They have to. 
Even so, the first round only seems to confirm his concerns - they get woolrushed almost immediately, and in Dream and Sapnap’s stumbling to get to mid, nearly crashing into each other and focusing their efforts on the same player by accident, the other team manages to fill out the wool, sending them back to the spawn box even more frustrated than before. 
“Amazing teamwork, guys,” Quackity snarks immediately, and Michael rolls his eyes. 
“Like you did that much.” 
Sapnap is still staring at Dream oddly, Dream turning his head to avoid his gaze. The two of them look largely oblivious to Quackity and his whole deal, even as Quackity whirls around to give him the stink eye. 
“You didn’t do anything either, if I remember correctly,” Quackity mutters, and Michael shrugs. 
“Fair.” 
A ding alerts them to the round’s end, and they resign themselves to preparing for the next round. Michael picks the extra arrows from the wall, knowing that no one else will want the kit, and watches as Dream anxiously runs his hands over the crossbow. 
The next round goes better, barely; Michael and Quackity end up knocked out pretty early, but Dream and Sapnap manage to kill the rest of the team soon after. He watches from the box as they fill in the wool, Dream looking awfully tense as he shears away the white wool for Sapnap to fill it with red. Quackity watches them both with a tight expression, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. 
Michael turns away, ignoring him, going back to watching Dream and Sapnap still standing within the arena. Both of them look awkward, oddly out of step with each other - Michael’s not watched them fight much, but he knows that they have a reputation as a pair, was there for the Sky Battle round where they completely wiped through the competition. Even here, Sapnap moves forward and Dream flinches back - there’s something heavy and tense between them, lingering in the few words they’ve spoken to each other, if they’ve even spoken to each other at all, one always rushing forward too fast or following just a little too slow. They’re still brilliant fighters, almost unrivaled in hand-to-hand combat and with swords, but the faltering communication is sure to hurt them more in the future. 
His worries come true just three rounds later, the two in between being narrow wins for their team, each a little more shaky than would be comfortable. Michael has found himself easing off the worst of his anxiety in verbally sparring with Quackity, jabbing at the other with offhand remarks and little needling jokes to keep his attention off the other two, especially as his glare has become more pronounced and his words more angry. Even so, nothing he does or can do will fix the odd tension between Dream and Sapnap, whose communication remains as stilted and awkward as ever. 
They’re facing a stronger team, PVP wise, with Punz and Seapeekay, and Michael ends up falling in a bow duel against Jack. He watches as the Captain falls to a potion by Sapnap, then as Jack is taken out by a crossbow bolt courtesy of Dream, just before Quackity falls to a well-timed bow shot from the opposing team. 
That leaves the strongest PVPers to battle it out, and Dream and Sapnap manage to team up and kill CPK - but not without taking a nasty damage potion to the face that must leave the two of them low. Michael watches Punz, booking it to mid with a crossbow, anxiously - both of them would be a oneshot with the thing, and on the condition that he takes no damage before fighting with either of them outright, he’s probably got enough health to hold out a few hits. 
Sapnap pulls out a health potion, and Michael grins - that’ll be good for the two of them, and should secure them the win - only for him to gesture roughly with his sword and for Dream to stagger backwards, panic flashing over his face. He only seems to grow more fearful at the sound of glass shattering on the ground, falling backwards further - far enough to be largely out of range of health pot - and in their shock, Punz manages to catch both of them off guard and nail Sapnap with a crossbow bolt that downs him for the round before similarly dispatching Dream in two hits of his sword.
Sapnap explodes upon respawn in the box - “What was that? I had a health pot!”
“I-” Dream fumbles, face still oddly pale, “Sorry I didn’t- I- I-”
“We had that round!” Sapnap’s arms flail forward as he gestures angrily, Dream freezing further as one hand skims past his shoulder. “I can’t believe- I had a health pot! Punz was on, like, half! We could’ve killed him!”
“Easy, easy,” Quackity moves forward, putting a hand on both of their shoulders - Sapnap seems to relax immediately, while Dream, if anything, only looks more tense. “It’s time for the next round - we’ll talk about this later, alright?” 
Dream nods, movements overly tense, and Quackity flashes a toothy smile his way as Sapnap moves back, still mumbling to himself. He and Quackity move to talk in the back corner, words quiet enough that Michael cannot make them out, and something sick and cold slithers over his spine. Sapnap and Quackity are fiancés, aren’t they? 
Michael looks over at Dream, mask still covering his face as he looks away through the glass to the arena, shoulders still tight as Michael’s pretty sure they’ve been for as long as he’s seen him since he came onto the server. He remembers the panic that make itself obvious on his face every time Quackity came up to him, even as covered as it is, the similar- if not the same- fear that had painted his face when he respawned fresh off of the Battle Box round after Sapnap’s sword had passed a little too close to his body. 
Quackity and Dream- he’s sure, even if he doesn’t want to admit it, that there’s something going on there, dark and dreadful and poisonous. Who’s to say that Sapnap isn’t involved, as well? 
---
They finish Battle Box decently well, but not as well as they’d hoped, pulling them up to fifth place with a decently large gap between them and fourth. Quackity and Dream disappear immediately as the Audience Votes begin coming in, leaving Sapnap and Michael to stand awkwardly in the lobby to wait for the rest of their team to come back. Michael watches the crowd for a glimpse of Quackity and Dream, comes up empty. A sigh fizzles through his teeth as he looks up into the sky, the endless blue doing little to ease his nerves - he’s worried, even if he doesn’t want to think about it, for his teammates. For Dream. 
It doesn’t take a genius to see that the man is scared of Quackity, that there’s an odd sort of history there that Michael conveniently has no information about. Whatever it is, it’s left Dream unsure and uncharacteristically nervous, left the entire team floundering without proper leadership to tie them all together. Really, a part of him knows that the Championships should be the least of his concerns - if he were braver, or a little better at combat, or a little less inclined to just let things pass as they always have, then he’d be raising a fuss. Getting in the way, talking to Dream, doing something other than making backhanded compliments to Quackity that he’s sure have been doing little more than annoy the man further. 
“Michael?” Sapnap comes within his line of sight, lips pressed together in a carefully put-together expression that Michael is sure will collapse the moment they’re away from others’ prying eyes, “Can we speak for a moment?”
Michael forces another easy smile to his face as he turns towards his teammate, feels a little disgusted at the amount of them he’s had to use to simply function with the rest of his team. “Sure! Where to?”
They walk at a brisk pace to the team room, Sapnap’s eyes focused forwards the entire time, not speaking. If he’s being honest, it’s a little awkward, but the lighthearted comment on his tongue to break the silence dies out the minute Sapnap closes the door and looks back at him with fierce, focused eyes boring into him. 
“What’s your deal?” He hisses immediately, words pitched low even though he doesn’t really have to - there’s no one nearby, and the team rooms are decently soundproofed. Michael feels his hackles rising as Sapnap’s arms cross in front of him, eyes still focused on his own as he talks. “I’m not going to lie- I don’t know you that well, even though you’re on the SMP now, but can you quit it with Quackity already?”
“Quit what?” Michael snarks - sue him - matching Sapnap’s tone with irritation of his own. 
“Don’t- you’ve been antagonizing Quackity all day,” Sapnap’s hand runs through his hair, messing up his hair and tangling it into knots, “And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re kind of in the middle of a competition here? So it’d be really nice if you could save the fighting for until after we’re done?”
“Says you?” Michael can’t help the retort this time, huffing irately at the offended expression that flashes over the other’s face, “I don’t really know if you’ve noticed, but your teamwork has been a little less than stellar, today. Pot calling the kettle black, much?”
“What-” Sapnap looks confused, even through his anger, gesturing more and more wildly. “What do you even mean?”
“Oh, so are we just ignoring what just happened in Battle Box then?” 
Sapnap’s eyes flash as he closes into himself again, hands gripping at his upper arms as he crosses his arms in front of his chest once again. “That- that’s different. That’s because of Dream.”
“Oh, just keep blaming it on the other guy, why don’t you?”
“No-” Sapnap shakes his head furiously. “You haven’t been on here for nearly as long, you don’t get it, Michael. Dream- he’s-,” Sapnap flails, and Michael groans at the familiar words. 
“Dream’s what? I was on the team with the guy before, you know. It’s kind of the reason why he invited me in the first place?” He raises an eyebrow. “We worked together perfectly well then - am I supposed to believe that his self-proclaimed ‘best friend’ can’t do the same?” 
“You don’t understand,” Sapnap repeats, expression hard and oddly far away, “Dream- he’s changed- he’s done so many terrible things. I don’t know what he’s said to convince you, but he’s bad news, man. He’s hurt- so many people.” 
“Oh- you want to talk about hurting people?” 
Michael isn’t quite sure what comes over him - only really realizes a white-hot flash of rage lancing through his chest, a sleepless night and half a competition’s  worth of anxiety and frustration and build up combining into a sizzling spike of fury that briefly tinges his vision red. 
“How about the way Dream looks like he’s about to keel over whenever anyone gets close to him? How about how he flinches back at literally every loud noise and fast movement? How about how Quackity’s been making these stupid, angry comments at him for the entire competition that make him freeze for a minute each time? Or how about when you were in Battle Box and Dream backed away from your sword like he thought you were gonna drive it through his chest?” Michael barely feels himself stepping forward with each word, jabbing his index finger into the other’s chest. “You want to talk about hurting people? How about you go talk to that fiancé of yours and then come back to talk?” 
A loud, droning buzz comes over the speakers, alerting them of the end of the break. Michael steps back, face flushed in embarrassment, before the world whirls away and they’re teleported back into the Decision Dome. 
He adamantly refuses to meet Sapnap’s eyes as Quackity and Dream materialize in the sector with them, Quackity’s hand clamped around Dream’s upper arm as the other man keeps his eyes fixed firmly on the floor, looking even more panicked and frozen than before the break. 
“You ready to win?” Quackity laughs, and Michael watches as his hand tightens around the sleeve of Dream’s jacket, knuckles paling from the strain. 
“Yeah,” Michael tries to cheer, and it feels like ash on his tongue. “Let’s do this.” 
---
Survival Games ends up being picked next - Quackity and Sapnap quickly pull up to the front of the group, close enough to be within eyesight but too far to really pick up their conversation. Michael keeps an eye out for the reddish glow of their bodies as they scout the surrounding areas for chest, staying back with Dream as they look at the other side of the road. He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t feel a smug sort of satisfaction of Sapnap seemingly confronting Quackity about whatever the hell has been going on, as awkward as his whole outburst had been. As it is, some time with Dream is nice without Quackity watching over his shoulder like a hawk - he directs a small, genuine smile at the man by his side that Dream seems to do a double take at before shyly returning it with one of his own. 
“There- I think I see a chest,” Michael points under a lamppost, running to the wooden box and flicking the lid upwards. He pulls out a chain chestplate that he promptly puts on himself, then throws over the iron boots to his teammate as well as a small stone axe that he’s sure Dream will make better use of. “We should probably catch up to the others - don’t want to be caught off guard while separated.”
Dream nods, and the two of them pick up the pace before finding another chest that Dream rummages through, this time, finding an iron sword that Michael takes for himself and a cake. 
“You’ve been doing really well so far,” Michael says after a few minutes of quiet, words becoming more firm when Dream looks up at him with a surprised expression. “Seriously- you’ve been doing great, man.”
“Thanks,” Dream smiles, words quiet and terribly sincere, and the sinking pit in Michael’s gut returns at the tone. “Not as good as I should, though. I’ve been underperforming a lot,” he laughs a little at the words, but even to Michael’s ears it rings hollow. “It’s not over yet, though.”
“No it’s not,” Michael concedes, rearranging his inventory as they run. “But it’s good enough, man, really - just look at my rankings.”
Dream huffs. “You’ve been doing good, Michael.”
“And you’ve been doing a hell of a lot better than me,” Michael tips his head in his direction. “Give yourself some more credit, man. You’ve been playing well.”
Dream smiles again, but even now the corners of his mouth seem tight, tense. “I need to play better, though, if we want to win,” he says, matter-of-fact, analytical to a damn fault. Michael rolls his eyes, but nods to concede the point. 
“Sure, but that goes for all of us, Dream,” he shakes his head. “And it’s okay if we don’t win, you know?”
“No.” 
Michael turns, frowning. Dream’s tone has become oddly flat, eyes dead as he continues to stare at the pavement under their feet. He seems to be chewing on his lip anxiously, startled out of his own thoughts when he looks up to meet Michael’s gaze. “I mean- I don’t know. I really have- want to win.” 
There’s something so carefully worded about the admission, quiet and scraped open and raw in the slow sincerity of the words. Michael wants to poke at it, wants to understand what’s left him so unsure of every step, what determination lies behind the words that has left desperation clinging to every shallow breath he draws. A crack of thunder on the horizon, heralding a player’s death, reminds him that now is not the time. 
Keep your head down. 
“Alright,” he smiles thinly, hoping that the fracturing, yawning pit of emptiness in his chest isn’t obvious in the words. “Then we’re going to win.” 
---
Michael skids to a stop at the finish line, feeling the elytra deequip as he’s thrown into spectator mode. He runs his hands through his wind-tousled hair, feeling it strain against his fingers as he roughly finger-combs it back into place. Dream and Sapnap are off to the side, standing next to each other but seemingly not speaking - Michael smiles as he floats over, still shaking the adrenaline off from the race. 
“Hey,” the two look up, smile in recognition, and Dream waves; there’s a small smile on his face, strained but present. “You both did really good!” 
“Thanks, Michael,” Dream laughs, earnest, “I did decent, I guess- haha. Top ten at least.” 
Sapnap whoops. “We’re popping off!” Michael cheers in agreement, and their efforts manage to pull Dream’s smile a little wider as he ducks his head to look away again. 
“Thanks, guys.” 
They watch as Quackity flies through the finish line, appearing in front of them and shaking his arms out as he gets his bearings. 
“Geez- that trident,” he shakes his head, looks up. “Hey, there you guys are. How’d we do?” 
“Dream got seventh,” Sapnap scrolls through his comm, looking through the rows of contestants and their times as they come in, interspersed by the occasional chat message, “And I got 10th. Michael got- 28th, I think? And you got 32nd.” 
“Hmm,” Quackity hums, “What do you think, Dream? Is that good enough to pull us to Dodgebolt?”
Once again, Michael watches as Dream stiffens under the scrutiny, head ducking down and looking for all the world like he’d rather be anywhere else. “Um- I don’t know,” Dream mumbles, “I messed up a trident- fell into the void once, probably could’ve done better otherwise-” his voice trails off, tensing further as Quackity takes his usual spot by his side, jabbing an elbow none-too-lightly into his ribs. 
“But you didn’t, though,” Quackity says, tone flippant, “so what do you think? With those placements- is it going to be enough?” 
“Hey, we did great, man,” Michael glares at him, more forward than he’d usually be - but all he can see is the shoulder that he has pressed against Dream’s arm, the way Dream’s stood stock still since the moment he made contact, “Lay off of Dream, would you? He did great.”
“Yeah, Q,” Michael’s eyebrows raise in surprise as Sapnap chimes in from the side, rising further when Sapnap moves forward to link his arm with Quackity’s own and half-drag him away from Dream. “Chill out, man, we popped off. We’re gonna fucking win this, ok?”
Quackity’s lips press together; he’s still smiling, but there’s no mistaking the seething darkness that lingers in his narrowed eyes and furrowed eyebrows, gaze still trained on the pale off-white disk of Dream’s mask. Still, with the rest of the team against him, he’s in a losing fight and he knows it; Michael watches as he visibly backs down, rolling his shoulders back as he lets Sapnap pull him further back. 
“We’re going to fucking win this,” he repeats, and Michael wonders how he manages to make the words sound so much like a threat.
---
“Sky battle,” Sapnap calls as the decision dome below them lights up in confirmation of the penultimate game, expression immediately becoming more focused as he turns back to the rest of the team. “Alright- strats, what are we thinking?”
“There’s the iron at spawn,” Dream starts, interrupted by the teleport to the Sky Battle arena, making him cut himself off comically and take a second to shake off the resulting disorientation, “And then there’s the iron in the nearby island. We gotta pick one, tower as soon as we can.”
“Got it,” Sapnap looks down, seemingly calculating, before looking up again - Michael has heard him compared to fire before, but he thinks this is the first time he’s really seen it; there’s a veritable blaze burning in his eyes as he looks at each member of the team, easily taking charge as they prepare for the first round. “Same buddy system as Survival Games - Q, stick with me, Michael, stick with Dream. I’ll tower to the next island- Dream, you good with getting the iron at spawn and crafting armor for us?” 
Dream startles, before flashing a small thumbs up at the other - Sapnap smiles wider, teeth bared dangerously.
“This is our game,” he cheers, and Michael enthusiastically whoops in reply, “we’re winning this, you got that team? Let’s go!” 
This, Michael thinks, is the way the games should’ve gone - they jump into action upon the start of the game, Michael watching as Dream races through both chests on the spawn island, getting the iron and jumping down cleanly with a water bucket before following Sapnap’s bridge to the other island. He tosses over a pair of leggings and boots as he lands, then takes Sapnap’s excess iron to craft the other pieces of iron for himself and Sapnap as the other man begins shooting at opposing teams. Their communication is near wordless, simple one- or two-word requests communicating all they need as they follow each other seamlessly into the main arena area, sealing off their entrance as they search the ring for other teams.
Sapnap, especially, seems to have shifted - instead of waiting for Dream to take the lead, he seems comfortable barrelling on forward on his own, trusting for Dream to follow his steps. Michael watches as the two of them easily work through the two lagging members of Orange, shooting through a gap in the wall to catch an unsuspecting Yellow player chased by the border. Michael ends up dying to an unlucky block of TNT placed on his head - curses out what appears to be Quig, bounding over to the other side of the arena, and follows Dream and Sapnap as they continue to fight their way through the competition. 
It’s not perfect, for sure - Dream hesitates at a bad place a minute later, ending with Sapnap getting 2v1ed and exploding in a flash of red sparkles. Dream is similarly dispatched a few seconds after, and the three of them watch Quackity, caught in the crossfire of two other teams, before he also goes down. 
“Good work, team,” Sapnap says as he appears, disoriented, in spectator mode, and they watch the remaining two teams battling in a rapidly shrinking border before Fruit falls as well, leaving Pink as the winners. “That was close- we’ve got this.” The conviction in his voice leaves no room for argument, and Michael, briefly, feels bad for anyone that stands in the way of it. 
With the second round, they once again fall into rhythm without any major hiccups - someone tries to cut them off before entering the main arena, but are made quick work of by Sapnap’s relentless onslaught. As Michael watches, Dream seems to regain confidence as well, moving more to fight with Sapnap side by side instead of just playing support, tugging him back from a risky play and catching Punz in a nasty combo that does him in when he manages to slip past Sapnap. 
The four of them end up in the final stand off in the middle, but end up getting caught too high up and killed by the border before they can jump down. Sapnap hisses at the narrow defeat, but the disappointment has hardly seemed to dim his determination - if anything, it seems to burn brighter. 
“Last round,” he mutters, and Michael watches as Dream walks up to him, bumping him lightly with his shoulder. 
“This is our game,” he says, a small smile appearing on his face, and Sapnap returns it with a fiery, blinding one of his own. 
“Ours,” he says, and even just standing on the side, watching - Michael believes it. 
Still, his concerns have yet to disappear - they linger in his mind as they jump into an adrenaline-filled last round, jumpy from excitement and victory just within their grasps. Dream is still more jittery than he should be, taking a second more than usual to react to fights, and his teamwork with Sapnap - while good - is still noticeably rusty. Michael’s lips thin at the memory of Dream backing away from Sapnap’s sword in Battle Box, hunched into himself, almost on the floor, with a clearly desperate edge to his expression - and no matter how he tries, he can’t quite manage to shake it off. 
Unfortunately enough, the third round doesn’t bode well for them from the start - Quackity gets bowed off while bridging to the main arena, and upon entrance there they end up flanked, hard, by another team in a conflict that gets Michael killed within seconds. Sapnap and Dream book it to the other side of the arena, where they manage to work through a full team without too much trouble - but the next minute brings another half-team flying at them from the back, catching them in the middle of trying to recuperate. The two focus Dream in the middle of eating a steak, and Michael watches as Dream steps back instead of moving forward to fight, that same shade of fear making his muscles seize as he stands, stock still, watching helplessly as swords fly his way- Michael cries out, but there’s nothing he can do-
Between one blink and the next, Sapnap is standing in front of Dream, a snarl painting his features as he whirls through both players in a fury. Michael watches, awed, as his sword weaves and dances between the two attacking Dream, making quick work of them both until they’re no more than items scattered over the ground, then grabs Dream by the wrist and drags him up a nearby ladder onto the upper floor, plopping him by the wall and then backing off. 
Sapnap stands back as Dream sits against the wall, breathing fast and labored, dropping to his knees with his hands in front of him, palms up, no weapons in hand. Michael watches, frantic, for the signs of any teams nearby - with Dream panicking and Sapnap’s back to the rest of the arena, they’d be easy pickings - but for once, luck seems to be on their side, because no one comes. Dream heaves a breath through his lungs, deep and shuddery - Sapnap watches, lips flat from concern, but doesn’t speak. 
“You good to continue?” he asks, when Dream seems calm enough to recognize his surroundings, and Dream looks up at the words, jaw slack from shock and disorientation, before his head dips in a firm nod. 
“Good,” Sapnap smiles, tight-lipped and fiercely determined, fiercely loyal, as he reaches out a hand that Dream moves to take. “Let’s go fuck them up, yeah? You and me, just like we used to.”
Michael watches, heart in his chest, as they stand together to face the rest of the competition, towering towards the middle and facing off with the remaining teams,  watches as they move forwards through explosions and buckets of lava, coalescing onto the middle island, as they battle through the remaining opponents as one in a clean spiral of clashing blades and flying arrows, fighting with their backs to each other in the center of the arena. He watches as a well-placed fishing rod by Dream knocks their final opponent off the platform, leaving them in the middle, triumphant, as the only remaining team - 
Watches, a brilliant, bubbling laugh in his chest as Dream and Sapnap take their spots in the middle of the arena, standing side by side as Sapnap raises Dream’s hand in victory, both laughing and cheering  into the sky.
---
Their performance in Sky Battle manages to pull them to third - but second place still stands a few hundred coins away, and they watch anxiously as Parkour Tag is chosen as the last game and they are transported over the arena. 
“Last game,” Sapnap calls, “We’ve got this, alright?” 
He gets terse, short nods in return - it’ll be a close game, and even Michael is feeling the pressure. He breathes a soft, quiet breath through his teeth as they prepare, looking over to the opposite team as they choose their hunters and runners. 
“Dream, you up to hunting first four?” Sapnap seems to be watching the effects of his words more, waiting for Dream’s agreement before moving forward, sliding into the position of leader easily when Dream seems to struggle. Dream nods and steps into the hunter’s box, lips pressed together, flat and focused, and Michael turns back to the arena to plan out his route. 
Parkour, by far, is not his strong suit. It hadn’t been his strong suit during Parkour Warrior and sure as hell isn’t it now - he enjoys it well enough, but with the pressure of a hunter on him or the time creeping past and the competition standings hanging over his head like a guillotine, he’s prone to slipping up and he knows it. The map is full of dizzying, multi-colored structures and difficult jumps, the twists and turns of the arena making his head spin. Being good at parkour is more than being good at movement - it involves being able to make split-second decisions and execute them with no time to hesitate. Unfortunately, Michael isn’t particularly good at any of that, so Parkour Tag mostly just stresses him the hell out. 
He sets out to the arena, listening for callouts over comms as he fumbles over the buildings. Halfway through the game, Dream’s voice comes through comms, quiet, focused. 
“Gottem.” 
“Nice, Dream,” Michael smiles, trying not to trip over a particularly hard jump, only to fall to being tagged in the back by the opposing team’s hunter - Ant, if he remembers right. “Sapnap and Q are still in- we’ve got this.”
Once again, each time, Dream races through the opposing team in seconds, seemingly going faster with each round. Michael has heard his reputation as a hunter before, but only now is he really appreciating the extent - the speed at which he manages to dispatch all three opponents is downright terrifying. They manage to win all four rounds, lingering around second place overall on the leaderboards, before Sapnap and Dream switch off for hunting. 
With each round, Michael watches Dream in the lobby, watching as he tenses further in focus and determination and no small degree of fear, but it hadn’t been nearly as obvious in between rounds. Now, with him in the arena with Quackity and himself, Dream’s jumpiness is all that more palpable, adrenaline making him pace and jump in place from where he stands at the edge of the place. The glass lowers, and he explodes into motion, bounding on top of the nearest tower to wait for the hunter to come towards them. 
Michael ends up caught first, early in the round, once again, and resolves to following Dream over the glass to watch his movements and make callouts for the hunter chasing behind him. Watching Dream move through the arena, dodging below fixtures and through tunnels and jumping from tower to tower with seemingly no regard for gravity pulling him down, it’s become all the more obvious that this is his element. He makes another hairpin turn around a pole, kicking himself up over a tower and then diving from it to a nearby building, landing on a ledge inside it, hands clutching the wall - Michael watches, quietly awed, as he outlasts the hunter, landing in small, panting breaths in the lobby. 
“Great work,” he cheers, quiet, as Dream shakes off the last dregs of the adrenaline, all of them watching the leaderboard anxiously, “Just three more rounds, alright?” 
The rounds that follow continue in much of the same vein - Dream, once he’s gotten started, seems near-impossible to chase down; Michael and Quackity provide support, distracting the hunter for as long as they can until they get tagged, but part of him wonders if it’s all even necessary. Dream flies from structure to structure seemingly unhindered by The Laws That Be, expression firm, if a little frantic, as he parkours his way through the arena. To their credit, the hunters chase, and several come pretty close - but Dream, worked up on adrenaline or anxiety or some twisted mix of the two, races over and around the buildings within the arena like his life depends on it.
It’s a surprisingly (if sickeningly) apt description - the skill in parkour is far from unacknowledged on Dream’s record; they all know his reputation with Parkour Warrior, all know that there are little that can match his skill as a traucer - but there’s something newly desperate in the way he runs, the muscles of his body tight and taut even in between rounds, expression permanently tight at the corners from fear. His movements, lacking in their usual fluidity, are made up with sheer speed and mad scrambles up walls that no one else seems to dare replicate. It’s concerning, even to Michael’s untrained eye, how frantic he seems the entire time, the flashes of expressions that he’ll direct towards the hunter like being caught by them will be his end, but- if anything, at least it’s effective. 
Between his parkour and Sapnap’s own skill, they manage to dominate the other teams without much issue, and the bonuses from eliminating the other team first combined with Dream’s survival points each round land them a first place for the game by just a few hundred coins. The four of them watch with bated breaths for the event standings, whooping and cheering together when it shows the red rabbits in second - 
“DODGEBOLT, BABY!” Quackity cheers, loudly, and the rest of them join him, laughing and screaming incoherently, “LET’S FUCKING GO!” 
“LET’S FUCKING GO!” Sapnap punches the air with a loud, resolute whoop of joy, and Dream - still shaking off the jitters of his last round in Parkour Tag - soon joins in with a few cheers of his own. 
Michael watches them all with a smile on his face as they cheer in victory - Dodgebolt has them against the Yellow Yaks, which will be a hard match up, but between Dream and Sapnap’s skill, if they all stay focused, they shouldn’t have any issue. 
They’ve done it. They’ve made it to Dodgebolt - if they keep their heads in the game, then they should win. All he has to do is keep his head down a little longer, long enough to win them the game, long enough for them to go home with new crowns and new coins, long enough for him to go back to living his quaint little life in his quaint little house - going back to heckling the Warden at night and hanging with Bad and Puffy, working on builds and living life away from the rest and pretending that nothing is wrong. The server will go back to normal come tomorrow, and it will all be okay. 
The smile slips off his face. 
They’ve done it. And then they’ll go back to the SMP, and Dream might evade whatever immediate consequences come with losing, but there’s no evidence that whatever’s caused that heartstopping, devastating fear that has characterized his every move is going to stop. They’ll win, and they’ll go back to the SMP, and they’ll keep dying and fighting wars and keep pretending that the world they live in is normal; they’ll go back to the server, and Michael will go back in his house while Dream goes back into his cell directly across from it, still locked in a black box with no way in or out, no means of communication with anyone outside, locked away with the key thrown away for anything to happen with no one to know-
Michael glances over to Dream, to the tense edge of his shoulders that has never left for as long as the tournament has continued and long before. To the grey-faced, grey-eyed inhabitants of the SMP, coming to the Championships with sealed lips and a shared determination to never reveal that anything is wrong, to pretend that things are normal and move on. 
Michael’s hands clench into fists at his side, then unclench, the helplessness cutting through his excitement like a splash of cold water straight through his chest. They’ll win the Championship, and then what? They’ll go back to the server, and then what? 
He looks up at the sky, avoiding the eyes of the rest of his team as they are teleported to the arena. Around him, nothing comes in reply. 
---
“Shit-”
Sapnap disappears in a flourish of red particles, and Michael winces as Dream picks up the arrow he left behind, biting his lip as he watches the opposite side maneuver on the ice.
Both of Dream’s shots hit true, and Michael switches to dodging over the ice as the opposing team begins to shoot. His mind is still buzzing with uncertainty, questions whirling around his skull and making his head spin, the reminder to just let things be raging against the anxiety that has wormed its way deep into his bones for the better part of the day. His performance has fallen a bit as a result, and they’re tied, 2-2, for the last round of Dodgebolt against Yellow - winner takes all. 
He doesn’t know what to do. He wants to tell, but he wants to fall back into the background. He wants to make a difference, but also wants nothing more than to go on pretending that everything is fine. It would be so, so easy to move on and wash his hands of the whole affair - it’s not like anyone else will know, only himself and the guilt that he’s sure will haunt him to remind him of his failures. Is there even anything he can do? He’s no genius at combat, or parkour, or strategy- all he has are his eyes, his ability to see what the hell is happening with no means to change any of it. 
An arrow whizzes towards him, too low to hit, and falls to the ice by his feet. Michael feels it plop into his inventory as he runs past it, shivering slightly from the cold or adrenaline or some mix of the two - not that he can really tell. The other team still has an arrow, the gleaming arrowhead catching the light as the person shooting - Jack, it looks like - moves it from one side to the other, looking for someone to aim. Michael lets the arrow into his hand, feeling its weight.
A sudden shock of clarity. 
He staggers back and nearly trips over his own feet, feeling relief rock his body when he manages to catch his balance - his eyes rake over the rest of his team, still dodging over the ice, completely focused on the opposing side. He worries his lip between his teeth - it’s a risk. It’s a hell of a risk, and if he messes up - they’re fucked. They’re more than fucked. There’s a good chance that this does more harm than good, a good chance that it won’t do anything at all. 
Michael takes a deep breath, and nocks his arrow. 
With his bow pointed to the floor, he doesn’t think anyone’s noticed yet - especially the rest of his team, gazes still trained over the centerline to the other side of the arena. Michael plants his feet, raises his bow, aims - he’s standing still, too still, and he can already see Jack swinging the bow towards him from the corner of his eye, preparing to let the arrow fly directly at him. That’s fine. It doesn’t matter.
Keep your head down. 
Michael lets go, and Quackity manages to turn just in time to see the arrow hit him between his eyes.
Not this time.
Michael just manages a wicked, satisfied smirk before the world disappears in a flash of red. 
---
“What the hell was that?” 
Michael teleports into the middle of the MCC main lobby, finding Quackity already mid-yell in front of the podium, where the Yellow Yaks have taken their places as the winners of the Championships, new, shining crowns on their heads as they greet the crowd with smiles and cheers. Michael turns to where the rest of the team has gathered in the corner, Quackity hissing angrily at Dream, curled into himself against the fence. 
“I- I-”
“You lost us the fucking game, that’s what you did,” Quackity grabs him by the arm, rage painting his features as he yanks Dream closer to him, ignoring the other’s panicked yell at the proximity and flailing to get away. “What the fuck- you had both the arrows. How the fuck did you miss that?” 
“Back the hell off, Quackity.”
Michael steps forward, bodily shoving Quackity out of the way - Dream’s head rises just enough for the two eyes painted on his mask to look  above where they’d been hidden behind his arms, though Michael’s far too lost in his own anger to pay any mind to him at the moment. Quackity turns his furious direction towards Michael, only seeming to get angrier as he meets his eyes. 
“Oh, fuck off, Michael- you-” he rakes a hand through his hair, “You fucking- we fucking lost because of you, you know that? We had that! We were going to win that, you fucker-” 
“And then what, Quackity?” The words Michael had been pushing back the entire day come forth, mixed with his simmering anxiety and muffled anger that he’d been forced to push down, game after game after game, one bubbling mess of emotion underscoring his tone and making Quackity rear back, “Then you’ll go back the SMP and pretend that everything’s fine and dandy? Go back to your shiny little country with a shiny new coin, beat up Dream a few times to work off the adrenaline because, hey, it’s not like anyone else is gonna know if he’s black and blue inside of that shitstain of a prison, is that right?” 
The flash of panic that makes its way over Quackity’s face is more than enough to confirm the worst of Michael’s assumptions, and the rage that has made a home in his chest only burns hotter. 
“What- what the fuck did he say?” Quackity barely manages to catch onto his tone, pressing harder with narrowed eyes and a snarl, “He’s lying, you fucking idiot, that’s all he ever fucking does-” 
“He’s not told me shit,” Michael presses forward, forcefully pushing Quackity away from Dream, who is cowering from both of them behind him, “But you would know a hell of a lot about that, wouldn’t you Quackity?”
“I have no fuckin’ clue what you’re on about, pal,” Quackity shakes his head, hair whipping past his eyes, “And I’d recommend you shut your fucking mouth before you go around hurling baseless accusations- I could have you sued for defamation, you know-”
“Oh, we’re talking law, now? Fine! We’ll talk legalities- how about we start with that casino of yours and work from there?” 
Sapnap moves over, quiet thus far as he watched from the sidelines, and Michael watches as Quackity relaxes, minisculely, at his approach - only to tense further when Sapnap presses a hand to his shoulder, meeting his eyes with blazing eyes staring right at his.
“Q,” Sapnap says, voice uncharacteristically serious, “tell the truth, now- what did you do?”
Quackity laughs - it sounds unsure, even in Michael’s ears, “Sapnap? You can’t tell me you believe-” he waves his hands frantically, “this- this fucking asshole, now, do you hear him? He sounds- he’s literally out of his fucking mind-”
Sapnap shakes his head, firm. “Quackity, I’ll need you to cut the bullshit. What did you do?” 
“He’s backing up Dream, Sapnap,” Quackity focuses his gaze on Sapnap, something creeping up in his tone, sweet and cloying despite the bitter tone, that Michael can’t quite recognize, “You know what Dream is like- he pulled the same shit with you, remember? You and George? Tommy?” He waves a hand at Dream, who ducks down further at the attention, “He hasn’t changed, man! He’s still pulling the same bullshit, still manipulating people for the hell of it- you know, the exact same thing he did to you? Don’t fall for that again, man.”
“I-” Sapnap seems to hesitate, conflict warring over his features. 
“Look at me, Sap - you know what Dream’s like. He pretends to be your friend, makes up some stupid bullshit to justify his shit - Michael hasn’t been around for as long, not like the two of us, remember? He doesn’t know.” Quackity brings his hand to Sapnap’s own, ignoring Michael’s protests as he laces their fingers together, “I care about you, Sap. All of this- I’m just worried that he’ll end up manipulating you again. I’m just trying to protect you.” 
“...liar.” 
“What?”
Sapnap steps back, wrenching his hand out of Quackity’s own. His expression, out of what Michael can see from the sliver of his face that is facing him, is stormy with fury and no small amount of regret - Quackity steps back, unease finally beginning to flicker in the corners of his self-satisfied expression as Sapnap stares him down. 
“You’re a liar, Quackity.” Sapnap draws himself up. “Now, I’m asking this for the last time- what did you do?”
Quackity’s expression stutters, falls, as Sapnap stands back next to Michael, the two of them between him and Dream. His eyes flick between their faces, then to Dream, then back again, frown deepening with every pass he makes between the three of them. Michael keeps his arms crossed in front of his chest, feeling his muscles tense with every second of silence that ticks by, Quackity seeming to grow more and more angry and tense under their scrutiny and unforgiving stances-
-a second passes, and he throws himself forward. 
“Quackity!” 
Michael only manages to throw himself out of the way of the man barrelling towards him just in time - too late, he realizes that he wasn’t Quackity’s intended target. He tackles Dream to the ground, pinning the taller man underneath himself onto the ground in a rough thump that seems to knock all the air out of him. Dream immediately begins to thrash aimlessly, jaw going slack in panic as Quackity levels his arm against his neck, going still as Quackity presses harder against his windpipe. Michael is only barely close enough to pick up what he says over the sound of the surrounding screaming, Sapnap rushing forward to pull Quackity off to no avail-
“-make what I did two weeks ago look like a fucking joke when we get back, going to make you wish you fucking died-” 
The world explodes into white.
When Michael’s vision clears, he’s face to face to the stony face of one of the MCC admins, their status displayed by the proud red [Admin] by their nametags and the fact that they’re floating several inches off the fucking floor. He backs away, strangely winded - probably from the panic or adrenaline or yelling or, more accurately, all three, as Quackity is pulled back effortlessly by an admin, easily caging his flailing limbs with a snap of code as he is frozen into place - and Michael whoops. 
“LET’S GO!” 
(The arrow hits Michael in the shoulder, and he disappears in a flash of red - only instead of going to his usual place above the Dodgebolt arena, standing with the other competitors, he finds himself teleported in front of a dizzying array of screens and buttons, too many to have any idea where they connect and how they work. Michael turns to meet the faces of the MCC Admins, each one looking at him with odd, concerned expressions and furrowed brows. 
“You shot your teammate,” one says - Noxite - and Michael nods to concede the point, not quite finding the words to speak. “Why?”
“If you had such a big issue with the teams, you could’ve just talked to Scott,” another one pipes up from the back, “I’m sure we could’ve worked something out.”
“I know, I know,” Michael runs his hand through his hair, both relieved at the plan working better than he could’ve ever fucking imagined and suddenly lost for words in front of the admins, each one looking at him with their full attention. Every nerve in his body rails against the scrutiny, reminds him to pretend that nothing is wrong - but it’s too late to pretend, now. It’s been too late for a long, long time. 
He remembers Dream, looking away all competition, voice dead and lacking all of its former vitality - remembers Puffy, hair a little greyer from stress, grief painting her face whenever she thought anyone wasn’t looking - remembers Bad, hands still shaking despite his attempts to hide it - the prison, looming on the horizon, unbeatable, impenetrable - himself, helpless, for all this time, to do anything but watch and wait. Until now. He takes a deep breath, steels himself- 
“Something’s wrong with Dream.”)
“Thank you for your information, Michael,” Noxite smiles at him, and relief throws itself through his system so fast that it makes him dizzy- “We’ll handle this from here. Good job.” 
“Holy shit- when did you get time to contact the fucking admins, Michael?” 
Michael ignores the clamor around him as the lobby bursts into activity and people talking over each other, each one probably trying to figure out what the hell just happened, ignores Sapnap muttering, awed, from beside him, to move towards Dream, still sprawled out over the floor. There’s an admin by him, standing by to seemingly keep the crowd away but not engaging with Dream directly, and Michael ducks by them to kneel down by Dream and meet his gaze. 
“Hey,” Michael smiles, still shaking from the leftover adrenaline as he presses his hands to the ground to try and hide it, “We’ve got you. It’s over- Quackity’s gone. You’re safe now.” 
“Michael?” Dream’s voice is so damn small when his head twists to look over, hair having fallen largely fallen out of his ponytail to land in wisps all around his face. “You- how-”
“Don’t worry about it,” Michael shushes him, chest twisting painfully. “It’s alright.”
“...I don’t feel so good.”
Dream coughs harshly, and Michael quickly maneuvers him to a sitting position as his shoulders shake with another one, hand flying to his mouth as he is wracked with loud, wet-sounding coughs. Concern wells up in his throat, watching as Dream shakes with more coughing, nearly choking as he curls into himself, muscles tense. After what feels like an eternity, he pulls his hand back, and Michael gasps at the sight.
“Dream-”
There’s blood, and a lot of it - mixed with the saliva in his palm, shiny and stringy over the planes of his hand, dribbling past his lips and down his chin. His teeth are similarly stained red when his mouth opens slightly, stance wobbling before he collapses altogether against Michael’s body - Michael can barely hear himself shouting for a medic as Dream heaves a rattling, wet sounding breath into his shoulder. 
“Th’ts not g’d,” he mumbles, quiet, before going completely limp. 
---
When you first get strong enough to go to the Nether and collect blaze rods and brew potions for the first time, the first thing that gets beaten into your head forwards, backwards, left, right, and every way in between is that health and regen aren’t a replacement for actual recovery. Instant health pots are famous for their tendency to heal everything affected to the same degree - which is bad when you have a particularly deep injury, as it’ll often finish healing it near the surface while the injury persists underneath. Regen pots tend to be better at that front, but even they cannot completely fix a serious injury - the two can only act as a temporary, emergency fix for severe wounds, often being an invaluable resource to stop the worst of the bleeding and hold everything together for long enough to bring someone to proper medical attention. 
Unfortunately, when someone tries to use health pots and regens to completely bypass the time and rest needed for the body to properly heal itself and recover, what usually ends up happening is internal injuries - not completely healed by the potions alone - continue to be jostled and irritated, which can lead to further, worse, problems with internal bleeding and bones shifting out of place if they’ve been broken, which can then pierce through muscle and organ tissue - to be honest, Michael was never the best with all the medical stuff, and he’s half-sure that the horror stories he’s heard were exaggerated to beat it into his head never to be an idiot that thinks that potions can solve everything, but either way, he’s never tested his luck with the things.
Unfortunately, Dream doesn’t seem to have done the same, as the entire day’s worth of intense activity, between practices and MCC itself, were more than enough to fuck over the healing effects of whatever health potions he apparently downed before coming to the Championships. From what Michael has heard, it got a little harried after he was first brought into the hospital, but he’s apparently stabilized since - recovery will be slow, both physically and mentally, but at least he’s out of that damn prison to actually start on that path.
“Simply put, your teammate is a bit of an idiot,” Scott tells him when he finally catches him in the waiting room, hair fluffed up at the sides from where he’s evidently messed it up in Admin-related stress. “But he should be alright now, with proper medical attention and lots of rest - make sure to tell him to actually rest, will ya? No more parkouring for him - he can wait until after he’s out of the hospital to show us all how it’s done.” 
Michael laughs, relief settling into his chest, “Thanks, Scott.” He directs a playfully accusing look towards the other, a grin tugging at his lips, “but you know, he’s only my teammate because you made it that way. Kinda sounds like your own fault there..” 
“Oh, quiet, you.” Scott laughs- he looks stressed, and Michael feels a twinge of sympathy. The administrative side of things after his whole stunt at Dodgebolt, and then especially with what happened in the main lobby, must be an absolute nightmare. “Anyway, I need to go back - Admin meeting,” he shakes his head, already looking at his comm. “You should go see Dream, by the way. I think he’s awake.” 
“Thanks for everything, Scott.” 
Scott smiles at him, soft, sincere. “Go see your friend.” 
He disappears in a flash of white light, teleporting away, and Michael looks at the empty space where he stood for a few seconds before standing up out of his chair to move towards the door. He hesitates at it for a second, hand on the doorknob but not yet turning it to the side - it’s suddenly awkward, without the pressure of the competition at his back and the relentless questions of what he should do. He doesn’t even know if Dream knows what happened, or if he’ll be happy with him - for all he knows, Dream was the one who started the whole ‘don’t tell the Championships what happens in the server’ deal. His teeth catch on his lip as he stands, lost in thought, at the door.
Well. Here goes nothing. 
He eases the door open, getting a glimpse inside the room - it’s white, clean-looking, the smell of disinfectant heavy in the air. There’s a bed in the middle of the room, a chair on the side with his Championships clothing and what appears to be some sort of padded body armor laid over the cushions. Dream, as expected, is lying down in the bed, unmoving; for a second, Michael thinks he’s sleeping, before he suddenly twists his head over to look at him.
“Michael?” 
“Hey,” Michael smiles, moving into the room and closing the door behind him. For the first time today, Dream’s face isn’t masked, a glimpse of it visible behind him on the dresser by the bed. He blinks up at him owlishly, eyes wide and green, looking even bigger combined with the hollow planes of his cheeks, overlaid by pale, slightly raised scars. “How are you feeling, man?” 
“Um-” Dream tries to pull himself up, visibly struggling, and Michael rolls his eyes as he hurries over to help raise the back of the cot because you’re supposed to be resting, Dream, just let the fancy bed do its job, and settles back with an odd look on his face as Michael pulls over a chair. “Good? I think? I mean-” he flails his hands a bit, “this is weird. And I kind of hate this gown- but um. Yeah.” 
“That’s fair,” Michael laughs, and Dream huffs a small laugh out of his own, settling back into his pillow. He looks strangely small, with all the layers stripped away, frail and skinny against the sheets. His skin isn’t that same paper-white shade it had been when he collapsed in the middle of the fucking lobby, but it’s still pale enough to be vaguely worrying, especially combined with the IV and other wires hooked up to him. 
“Apparently, I’m dehydrated,” Dream drawls when he catches Michael staring at the IV, making a small, frustrated sound through his teeth as Michael turns to look at him, “figures, I guess, but still sucks. I hate needles.” 
“Ouch,” Michael winces in sympathy, “yeah, those don’t look that fun.” Dream smiles up at him, before his expression shutters, dulls, and he looks away, not meeting his eyes. The sight of it makes Michael frown, quiet, remembering the way he’d drawn back from them all over and over again throughout the day - that fear and trauma won’t go away in a day, but it hurts all that much more to see his face as panic flashes across it and he pulls back, gaze carefully detached. 
“Dream?” Michael moves closer, but is careful not to make contact, “you alright?”
“Hmm?” Dream directs another small, tight smile his way, strained at the corners as his eyes flick away to the floor once again, “yeah- I’m- I’m fine.” 
Michael sighs, but decides not to push it. “Have you done anything else here, yet?”
Dream shakes his head. “No- I think that someone’s going to bring food over soon, I’m not sure. Not really hungry,” he mutters, half to himself, and Michael tamps down the concern that wells up in protest, “But we’ll see, I guess.” 
“That’s good,” Michael nods, and Dream looks up at him, expression startlingly unsure. 
“Um- do you know?” He wrings his hands together, eyes darting across the room nervously before flicking over Michaels’ face, and Michael tries to make himself look as calm and comfortable as possible, “I mean- do you know what’s going on with- everyone?” 
Ah. Michael winces internally- he probably should’ve expected this question, but in the fallout of what happened in the lobby and Dream, you know, passing out in his arms, he ended up brushing off or ignoring a lot of the chaos that resulted. He wracks his head for snippets of information that he’d seen in his communicator and from visitors to the waiting room, including people that had been there with him that had been pulled for questioning and meetings, Tommy’s expletive-filled yelling from the lobby still ringing in his head. 
“Um- I think that they’ve got a team of moderators pulled up to investigate the server, figure out what’s been going on,” Michael ticks names off on his hands, mentally going through the list of people that he’s been given information on, “They have Quackity in custody, I think, for the moment- they’re still waiting for more information on what to do with him, but they’ve got a whole MCC lobby’s worth of witnesses that saw him assault you so far, if you plan on pressing charges and stuff- um- Sapnap got pulled for questioning, nothing too major right now, I think that they’re going through the other server members that were attending the Championships for the moment.” 
“Are they- putting them in jail?” Dream’s voice sounds slightly tinny despite his forced calm, arms crossed in front of him, and Michael shakes his head firmly. 
“No- legal stuff between servers is weird, and I think they’re holding off on anything like that for now. Quackity’s just there at the moment because of assault charges on the MCC server - stuff in the SMP is still technically outside of their jurisdiction.” Dream visibly relaxes, and Michael smiles thinly, “It’ll be rough for a few weeks as they collect evidence and figure out what to do, but for now, they’re just focusing on recovery - giving people medical attention if they need it, lining up therapists,” he laughs, quietly, “lots of therapists.”
Dream hums, looking away. The corners of his mouth fall, eyes fluttering shut as he breathes a shuddery sigh through his lips.
“I- never wanted it to get this bad,” he opens his eyes, looking down at his hands, lip slightly trembling, “I don’t- I don’t know where it all went wrong.” 
“Hey,” Michael slides closer, ducking to meet Dream’s eyes with a soft smile. “You’re not alone anymore, alright? You don’t have to fix it all by yourself. Focus on yourself, on recovering.” 
Dream hesitates, breath seeming caught in his throat, wide green eyes staring into Michael’s own, before ducking his head to look away with a slight nod. Michael leans back in his chair, watching as Dream turns to the side, curling in on himself slightly with a small wince, eyes fixed on the window.
“Didn’t think I was going to see the sun again,” Dream says after a while, gaze still trained behind the glass to where the sun is slowly setting, rays of sunlight streaming past the slits in the blinds and casting glowing stripes of honey-gold throughout the room and over Dream’s face. Michael feels something cold press against the back of his throat, the quiet admission making air stutter in his lungs at the image of Dream, alone, huddled in the middle of an obsidian box for months and months and months, never knowing if he’d see anything other than the same black walls for the rest of his life. 
“You’re not there, anymore. You’re safe now.” 
Dream doesn’t reply, continuing to look out the window silently, breathing slowly as he moves his hand through a sunbeam, watching the way it streams between his fingers and warms his skin, seeming mesmerized by its soft glow. 
“Michael?” Dream looks over, and Michael feels the air punched out of his lungs at the soft, disbelieving sincerity held within his expression, the fearful edges for once pulled back far enough for the light to catch the quiet, heartfelt appreciation gathered in the slight quirk of his lips and downward slope of his eyes. He looks away a second after, a band of light cutting across his face and landing over the bridge of his nose, smile still on his face, voice almost too quiet to make out. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” Michael feels his own smile widen, looking out the window himself- it really is a beautiful sunset. “What are friends for?” 
332 notes · View notes
angstyantoinette · 3 years
Text
Yandere!Howl Jenkins Pendragon x Reader Headcanons
Warnings: Slight NSFW [mention], kidnapping, manipulation, toxic relationships. 
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We all know that Howl is very much a ladies man; he knows exactly how to pull women in, and captivate them so that they fall in love with him easily. 
For Howl, it’s all a game. He catches the eye of a girl, no interest on his part of course. She just happens to be in his line of the game. He knows what to say, how to present himself to perfectly fluster and simultaneously intimidate every other person there. He doesn’t venture outside the castle often, and when he does, there’s an air of fear; there’s such awe left in his wake. 
And he loves it. This drama queen feeds off it.
But we also know that Howl is a runner. He cannot commit to anything, hating the restricting nature of feeling tied down. I mean, he abandoned his apprenticeship. With this in mind, Howl makes the most unlikely yandere. But he actually is highly dangerous, although he doesn’t really look like it.
He’s afraid of himself in a way. He understands that he is quite powerful, and after practically going rogue, Howl gets his kicks with spontaneity, with the complete unexpected in life. 
When he meets you, he expects you to give him all your attention, like everyone else. But you brushed past him, looking at his fancy clothes, his blonde hair, sapphire eyes, green jewels swinging from his ears, and the beautiful pendant around his neck. He was picturing it now in his mind, getting ready for the look of adoration, the tense of muscles, the scarlet blush upon your cheeks.
But you looked away. You gathered your belongings, perhaps stowing them away in your satchel, and you just looked away.
What?
Is that it?
You weren’t even interested in him. Howl was still so stunned he had nothing to say, no suave and seductive voice to tempt you into his charms. He was in awe of you; you looked at him with such indifference it made his head hurt. Not with heartache or pain or anything like that. But he could not deny that he wasn’t curious.
Well, of course, not only does this not sit too well with Howl, he is very much a delusional person in this kind of state. However, he is incredibly smart and calculating and he balances these two personalities scarily very well. 
Like I said before, Howl is a very dangerous yandere, and he thrives on his blantant misinterpretation of a mere womanizer to scamper away, unsuspected, unscathed, and free to do what he likes.
Howl doesn’t really hold on to grudges that much, or anything; when he loses interest, he tosses things away. Not all though. 
You, you, YOU. 
Why won’t you leave his weary mind after days of being apart? Why is his  conciousness telling him to look for you, and not relent until he’s succeeded in doing so? Despite all the signs, all of the telltale signs that shows he’s just a little too invested in you, he writes it off as his bad habits resurfacing to play another game. 
And, of course, Howl Jenkins shall oblige!
Howl is a patient man, make no mistake. He finds it enjoyable to watch things go down for a while; no matter how trivial, poking fun in plain sight at innocent civilians never gets old. 
When he finally gives in to trying to find you and play with you for a little while, Howl pushes aside all distractions to do so. That means traveling through counties and villages, towns and cities until he’s found you again.
Howl is desperate for love and affection that isn’t because of his looks. He really wants someone to love him, not the image he puts across, not just above the surface with his tantalizing blue eyes that pull you in and trap you. 
You saw through that. You barely gave him a second glance and while it peaked his interest initially, it annoyed him for days on end. Usually being teasing and indifferent to Calcifer’s complaining, he found himself snapping and getting easily annoyed. Markl began to subtly keep his distance on bad days. 
Now, though, he’s become delusional. In Howl’s mind, you are to blame for his interest, for his inability to keep his mind off of you. You are the sole reason for his burgeoning obsession that seems to be running the show. He tells himself that when he finds you, it’ll leave. This painful, utterly agonising sensation of having you in his grasp, playing his game will go far away. He’ll seduce you, definitely, take you to bed and have a good time and his obsession and all-consuming desire to play the game, just you and him will just...go. Poof.
Except when Howl does find you, he doesn’t feel like letting go of you. 
Ever. 
And while this does take him by surprise, it all starts to make sense for him. 
Because looking at you now, bundled up in his arms, crying in anger and confusion, he sees in the stars that this was meant to be. 
He waits until he’s sure you’re asleep [more like passed out from exhaustion-] to really, really get a good look at you. He notices for the first time your cheeks and how they’re squished against his pillows and wrapped up in his sheets so perfectly, it’s like you’ve been here many times before. He notes how relaxed your closed eyes seem to be, no furrowed brow or scrunched tight eyelids; just complete and utter serenity. 
You’re just so perfect. Could you be a god, some kind of deity perhaps?
He’s in love for the first time in a long time. He may have let it slip by then, selfish and uncaring, but now?
Oh no, Darling, you don’t stand a chance. Howl will do anything to keep you hidden from those bastards’ eyes  protect you, to love you and most of all, make you see that he’s the one for you.
 Always.
You sat in the boiling water filling the bathtub, limp and tired, unresponsive as Howl bustled around you, his task completely focused on getting you ready for bed. Once upon a time, you would have refused to call him by name; instead you settled for ‘bastard’, ‘prick’, and ‘I hate you’. 
You even tried to sleepily mutter these things under your breath, not caring now that you were being lifted out of the bath, and dressed in a white gown. You cared even less when feeling your mind slip away into a soft sleep, curling into your body with comfort, clinging onto Howl’s pillows.
However, in front of his ‘housemates’ [ you could only guess what a talking fireplace could have to do with his wacky moving castle ], you were frightened. Howl didn’t even have to say a word; he had you smiling and  acting somewhat normally in front of ‘Calcifer’ and the little boy, Markl, you thought his name was. 
But you could always feel the sliver of magic take a hold of your wrists from behind, a little voice telling you that staying here was for your best interest, what more could you want? It promised you eternal love, devotion and affection, coated with a sickly sweetness only Howl could pull off. 
All in all, you stopped resisting after a while. Howl was annoyingly patient it seemed, and it frustrated you to feel as though you were a child all over again. He smothered you, insisting on doing the most trivial of things for you, never snapping back at you, never doing anything to remotely answer back at you in the same manner whenever you resisted his help.
It didn’t click until you had cursed at him mercilessly, screeching and crying, pulling at your combed hair, that by acting like this; he looked better than you. He looked above you. Compared to your tantrums, Howl looked calm and collected and completely willing to help you in any way possible. 
But why was he doing all of this? 
Why did you wake up in his bed, with his lanky arms draped all over you as if you were lovers? Why was he spoiling you, letting you wear his clothes, feeding you? What was he trying to convince you of? 
“Darling, I have some new nightclothes for you. Do you want me to help you into them?” He was slower, more gentle tonight as he strolled around his room. He was delberate though, not forceful exactly, but it was more of an atmospherical warning. You could just tell; if little Y/N tried anything, something would happen. 
Some kind of spell, or perhaps even a curse to teach you a lesson.
Ah, there it was. Another gift. 
Did he think you’d simply tolerate him because of his lavish, his blatantly excessive gift-giving?
Why did he look at you with such sickening adoration on his flawless features? 
At last, his bustling seemed to cease and he took a longing glace back at you. He probably only meant it to last a few seconds but the longer he gazed, it just became a cold and glassy stare. 
You knew the feeling of ‘zoning out’ well, but his eyes became darker and darker. Some kind of shadow must have passed over him or something, because he snapped out of his eerie trance and threw himself onto the bed. 
You yelped in surprise, pulling your hands to your sides, hastily spreading them out on the soft quilt like spiders, your legs pushing your body back ever so slightly, eyes wide. 
Howl chuckled, but it was filled with a sinister undertone that you weren’t used to at all. He snapped his head to the right, his hands already unraveling a silk-encased package. 
“I saw these while in the town today and couldn’t help myself.” 
Pulling out the brand new nightclothes, you unwillingly let out a pleased gasp. It was a set of matching pyjamas. They were satin, smooth to the touch and a beautiful shade of emerald, not too bright at all, but not dark either. 
Sometimes, you enjoyed this sort of treatment from Howl, albeit, very guiltily. He was always polite, courteous and kind, willing to help you with anything, but you also couldn’t help but feel a sense of horror, lingering long after you fell asleep. As if it were some kind of parasite. You just couldn’t for the life of you place your finger on it. 
You had learned to never keep him waiting for anything; he was a busy man and as much as he liked to have free reign of his work, he liked to be organised too.
This time you had apparently spent too long admiring your gift rather than answering him.
“Isn’t it lovely, Y/N? I thought it would suit you divinely.”
“Y-yes, it’s beautiful, thanks so much H-Howl.” 
Not wasting any more time, he sat up from his previous position on the bed, and somehow managed to gracefully snatch the nightclothes away from your trembling hands, and shooting you a look as if to say, well, take your clothes off. That was the less sinister version. Howl’s eyes took on a new darkness that growled, or I’ll do it myself. 
Your hands flew to your neckline, undoing the small ribbon that held the soft cotton on you, and allowed Howl to thread his fingers through the material, travelling towards the bottom of the garment and pulling it over your head whilst you lifted your arms, feeling the comfort of the soft sleeves peel off your arms. 
The blush on your face was unmistakeable. It was another embarassment being bathed by him, but this? Stripping you out of your clothes? It didn’t help that he was aware of your inner battle, and having an annoying, but otherwise barely noticeable smile on his face. 
His hand reached over with the satin nightclothes, urging you to take them. You did, carefully so, slipping them on against your flushed body, his cerulean orbs watching intensely. 
As if he didn’t want the image to go away. 
When you had finished dressing yourself, you stood up and  tentatively walked to the mirror, even slightly stumbling on your feet, and gasped in pleased surprise. You looked...beautiful in the nightclothes. The satin felt so smooth on your skin, and the emerald shade brought out your e/c eyes nicely. 
A few moments later though, you gasped for a whole different reason. Howl slipped his hands around the front of your torso, letting them wander further and further down, reaching your thighs with a renewed urgency, pressing you back against his body.
“I didn’t hear a ‘thank you’, darling.” His tone was teasing, but you could detect a hint of anger, annoyance was it? As quickly as the shadows came they departed, leaving you at the mercy of the wizard Howl. 
“No matter,” he rasped against the nape of your neck, placing soft, heated kisses against your skin,”You can say thank you, whilst begging on your knees.”
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sorry about that ending, it just needed to come to an end before i drove myself mad with the procrastination :)
but what did you think of it?? there really isn’t enough Howl’s Moving Castle fics, let alone yandere ones, but i like how it came out. 
to the person who requested this, Howl, is 100000% the gentle dom we ALL NEED OKAY
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sohin-ace · 3 years
Text
Bucciarati - My little Seastar
Sister reader. Enjoy~
"Hey, Bucciarati! Can you help me for a sec?"
You turned towards the direction of the voice calling you and stopped in your tracks on the wooden docks.
"What do you want, Valentino?" You spat, a bit more harshly than intended.
The smug boy who was crouched on his zodiac chuckled at you. "Aw, come on, Bucciarati! Don't be like that. I just need some help to tie the rope. Your dad is a fisherman, right? You should know knots like no one else!"
Even though he had said this as a way to woo you and flatter you somehow, you couldn't help but hear it as a condescending remark. You crossed your arms over your chest and he pouted at the glare you sent him.
"Pretty please~? No funny business, I swear! Look, the guys aren't even here, I'm all alone. You can trust me!"
That's right. Valentino and his little gang took great pleasure in teasing you and bothering you at every corner and it pissed you off. No matter how much you insulted them, ignored them or avoided them, they never seemed to stop their stupid and useless bullying.
But sadly, oh so sadly, the Bucciarati that you were was kind. Too kind. You despised that you were so gentle-hearted, but in the end, this is how your father and brother had raised you.
You huffed and slumped your arms loose along your body, defeated. "Fine!" You dragged your sandals over the dock and approached him. "It better be quick."
The boy beamed as you embarked on the zodiac next to him, "Sure thing! Thanks a lot, girl. I'll make it up to you!"
He gave you the ropes as you crouched down at his place and got to work. But without you noticing, the boy had swiftly slid his leg over the vehicle and easily jumped back into the dock, leaving you behind.
Before you could even turn around and ask where he was going, the brat, now accompanied by all three of his little buddies that appeared out of their hiding spot, all kicked the zodiac off of the dock before you could even tie it.
"Waah-!"
You lost balance at the violent jerk of the boat and yelped, letting go of the ropes that could have saved you from your demise.
You couldn't even get back to your knees and try desperately to grab onto the dock's wooden planks. You heard the boys snickering and laughing at you as you drifted farther and farther away from the land into the water.
"I fucking knew it you disgusting piece of TRASH!" You yelled at them, angry with them obviously, but also angry with yourself for granting that bastard the benefit of the doubt. "You know damn well I can't swim!"
They all seemed to laugh even louder, obnoxiously. "Too bad for you Bucciarati! Maybe you shouldn't be so stupid next time! BWAHAHAHA!"
"YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE VALENTINO! SCREW YOU!"
Your curses and wails seem to fall into deaf ears as you drifted even farther away from the coast, with no way of even paddling back.
Looking around towards the much bigger boats parked along the docks, you could only hope 'he' would hear you.
"PAPA!! PAPAAA!!!" You called desperately. Surely he would hear you, he wasn't far after all, you did come all the way here to bring him his lunch. He must still be somewhere around the fishing boats.
After a few more vain attempts to call for your father, you settled to accept that he wouldn't hear you, nor would the other fishermen that were already far gone from their boats to bring their catches to land.
You sat on the damp zodiac and brought your knees to your chest, not even caring if your sundress slid down your thighs indecently and got stained by the salty water. Stupid Valentino couldn't even keep his tiny boat clean.
"Stupid, stupid..." Your voice cracked, threatening to break into a sob. "If he was a sailor he'd be dead before even sailing. That's how stupid this stupid boy is. Stupid."
With only your expletives to reassure you in your demise, you buried half of your face in your arms now craddling your cold knees.
Everything was so silent, the sea did a great job at muting every sound around the coast and you felt the loneliest and most scared you had ever been since you were a child.
You thought nobody would find you, and you'd be dead drowning because you could never learn to swim and since nobody even noticed your absence in minutes that felt like hours, nobody would cry for you if you died here either.
And so the stinging tears prickled at your eyes.
"Y/N?" You heard a familiar voice calling your name, but brushed it off as the wind. "Y/N is that you?"
You looked up towards the insistant voice in a sliver of hope and, like an angel fallen from heaven, you were met with the caring blue gaze of your big brother from the railings of one of the high boats right next to where you had drifted to.
"Bruno!" You gasped and got up immediately, almost falling over from the sudden sway of the boat under your weight. "A-ah! Bruno help me, I'm stuck!"
"Hold on!" The worried face of the male hesitated to leave you for even a split second. "I'm coming down. Don't move."
You nodded at his strict tone and waited for him as he disapeared. Your breath caught in your throat with stress, even though you were reassured to finally have a savior. And what a savior it was, your one and only big brother.
Barely a minute passed before you saw him come back and unravel an emergency ladder down to you. He made sure the ladder was all tight and secure and almost immediately after, Bruno jumped over the railing, to your grand fright, and started climbing down, your heart pounding with worry for him.
He finally arrived down and stepped into the zodiac, joining you, like a glorious hero, saving the day. You barely let him any time to react as you threw yourself into his chest and gripped viciously at the back of his shirt, scrunching it without care, scared to be alone at sea again.
Bruno wanted to scold you and yell at you for recklessly playing around all alone in the docks and ending yourself in such a dire situation. But when he felt you trembling and squeezing him like your life depended on it, which ironically it did, the elder couldn't help but sigh and wrap his long arms around your shoulders, a gesture of comfort.
"... What happened to you?"
"It's-" You choked a sob and Bruno tutted and shushed you softly, patting your head to calm you down, just like your mother used to do when you were a child.
"Shhh, it's okay bambina, I'm here now."
He felt you relax and you sniffled a few times before mumbling into his shirt. "It's Valentino! He tricked me! I hate him! He's such a coglione!"
"Hey! Language." He scolded and pinched your arm, earning a little 'ow' from you, "What would dad think if he heard you say such words? Bite your tongue, young lady."
"S-sorry..." You croaked a little ashamed of your outburst and lifted your head up at your brother. "They always do this to me... Valentino and the others... Why...? They know I can't swim and they throw me into the water all the time..."
Bruno let go of you to cup your face and wipe your tears off. He did not let it show to you but he was infuriated. There was only so much patience an Italian man could have when his family was being targeted. Especially his little sister and the only lasting woman of his life.
"Shh, stop crying now, mia stellina marina. I'll deal with them later, okay? Let's get you home for now."
"They'll see." You sniffled as your breath steadied, calmed by Bruno's soft tone, "When I'll marry a big, tall, goth policeman, he'll beat them up for me and then, they won't act so cocky anymore."
He huffed with amusement at your words before he let you go and laid a gentle hand on your back to usher you towards the ladder.  Bruno, still with a bit of confusion, mumbled to himself without you hearing it.
"... Why goth, though?"
Only now had you noticed the zodiac had stopped drifting since Bruno found you, held onto the much bigger boat by a phantom blue and white arm and a golden zipper that you'd recognize from a mile away.
"Can we... Can we let the zodiac in here?" You asked hesitantly towards your brother who paid no mind to it.
"Who cares? It's not ours."
With thoughts of Valentino's expensive motorboat getting lost in the sea, you slowly took ahold of the ladder's ropes and started climbing, Bruno keeping it steady for you until he was sure you embarked in safely.
He then joined you up and lent you a spare jacket that he thankfully thought of taking with him in the morning, covering you from the cold of your drenched dress against the littoral wind.
"Thank you Bruno..." You softly uttered and hugged his warm jacket closer around you, "I always cause you trouble..."
"Nonsense, piccolina. I could never live knowing my sister is crying, cold and afraid somewhere." He squeezed your shoulder against him as you approached the stall your father and his colleagues were filling with freshly caught fishes. "I'll make sure you're the one that never gets troubled again..."
Fortunately for you, the day ended much more peacefully than it had started and your father was happy and relieved to find you safe and uninjured. He had specifically instructed Bruno to not get involved or make a scene, but of course, his son was a stubborn mediterranean who could not let anything just slide.
It was not the first, not the second, nor even the third time this boy, 'Valentino' and his friends, had taken offense towards you.
So, Bruno would make sure the zodiac Valentino had worked oh-so-hard to afford, part-timing as a waiter, cleaning after people's messes, scrubing disgusting shit-stained lavatories and cutting his hands off of plastic and metal scraps scattered along the beaches for a few cents per day, got thoroughly anihilated to pieces.
"NOOOO!!!! MY ZODIAC !!!! MY 50 000€ BAAABYYYYYY!!! WHYYYYY???!!"
The very next day, as you walked along the docks to bring some fishing materials to your brother, you heard the painful wails of a very familiar boy kneeling down and crying on the woodplanks, his screams echoing against the shore.
"SHUT UP BRAT! You'll think about your money after you pay for the fines I'm about to give you. You think you can get away with polluting the water with your gross ass wreckage?" A tall and burly policeman wearing purple lipstick growled at the kneeling boy, no signs of mercy in his baritone voice. "You'll have a reason to cry when you pay for the oil you spilled in here. You're lucky I'm not throwing your ass in jail right now."
"Officer please-" Valentino pleaded miserably, but the policeman did not hold back on pushing all fives of the different citations he had owned by having pieces of his zodiac scattered all around the precious ressourceful ocean.
"You have two weeks to pay up and clean all that shit." The officer fixed his shades over his nose before turning around to leave. "And expect to receive a salty lawsuit soon. Fucking whiny bitchbaby..."
The policeman left with a determined and impatient step as you witnessed the entire scene with wide eyes, not noticing your brother approaching.
"Oh no... That's horrible..." You gasped with sympathy and worry, "I hope the fishes and corals won't get impacted by the oil spill..."
"Oh don't worry," Bruno chuckled, taking the heavy loads off your hands, "I made sure to zip that out of the water."
You blinked, confused.
"...What?"
"What...?"
That fic was inspired by the very first scene of H2O, I love that show so much, and I can't wait to post my mermaid fics in store!
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homoose · 3 years
Text
Love Has a Learning Curve: Part VII (x reader)
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Summary: Reader tries to make things right, with a little push from her mama.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Category: hurt/comfort
Warnings/Includes: none
a/n: I know, I know— please just let our babies be happy ♥️ and so it was. Also, big ups to my tumblr gf @idmakeitbehave​ for being my beta the past two chapters.
Series Masterlist
———
One week.
That’s how long it had been since their argument. Spencer had driven back to his apartment in silence, absolutely stunned by the way things had blown up.
They’d gotten back from the case in Utah on the fifth of January, and he’d driven straight to Y/N’s, ready to give her a belated New Year’s kiss. Immediately upon entering her apartment, he knew something was wrong. Her hug was stiff, her kiss brief, her eye contact minimal. He’d spent the night, but they barely touched, and she left early for work without waking him. He’d let himself out and texted her later in the day to invite her over for dinner.
Dinner hadn’t been any less awkward, and when he felt awkward, he knew it was bad. He finally couldn’t ignore it any longer, and he’d called it out. He had expected some resistance, but he hadn’t expected that. Y/N never spoke to him with any malice at all, even when he was actually doing something that irritated her. She was the queen of healthy communication. So for her to speak to him like that meant that the underlying issue was much, much worse than he’d originally thought.
He’d gone over their conversations a thousand times, looking desperately for the moment that it went wrong. After some deep consideration, he was certain that something had happened on New Year’s Eve. He just wasn’t sure what. Y/N was insistent that she wasn’t bothered by the declined call, but he still wished he could go back in time and answer it. He was pretty sure the seeds of their argument had sprouted in that moment, regardless of what she said.
Spencer knew she was a creature of habit, and that sometimes she needed space to process and experience her emotions. And if he was being honest, he needed some space after the argument, too. But usually she would have at least texted him by now.
He sighed and set down his newspaper, realizing he’d read the same page four times and hadn’t retained any of it. It was Friday, and he knew she was working. But still his fingers itched to dial her number. He picked up the phone, pressing a key to light up the screen yet again.
No new messages.
He dropped the phone back to the table with a little more force than was necessary. He decided he’d give her the rest of the weekend. If he didn’t hear from her by Sunday, he’d have to do something.
Y/N dropped her bag on the floor inside the door and turned to lock the deadbolt. She had managed to sneak out of the building without being stopped by Anita, and she thanked the universe for small miracles.
She didn’t want to have to explain herself. She didn’t want anyone to know what an absolute troll she’d been. Considering that Sam and Spencer had practically become attached at the hip since they’d started hanging out more, Anita was bound to ask about him.
She showered and ordered Thai food, snuggling down on the couch to watch a movie with Roald. She settled on Dumplin’— a favorite for the body positivity, the southern drawls, and the Dolly Parton drag.
And then she came to the argument outside of Harpy’s and lost what little emotional stability she had left.
“Never took you for the type that cares much what people think.”
“I can’t, Bo. And that might make me a coward, but—”
“It does. Willowdean Dixon, I think you’re beautiful. To hell with anyone who’s ever made you feel less than that.”
She didn’t realize she was crying until Roald meowed in distress. She choked out a sob and stroked over his ears, closing her eyes in defeat. “I really fucked this up, huh?”
It had only been one week, but it felt like years since Spencer walked out of her apartment. She’d stayed in bed for the entire weekend, crying on and off. She knew she had no one to blame but herself. Owen had knocked over the first domino, but she’d done nothing to stop the rest from falling.
Spencer had done everything right. He’d done everything she asked, and she’d thrown it all back in his face. He had made the comparison to Mitchell Park, and he was absolutely right. She’d done the exact same thing, only she had almost a year’s worth of ammunition, and she cut a hell of a lot deeper.
Roald nuzzled against her, but she nudged him away— she didn’t even deserve the comfort. Instead, she fumbled in the couch cushions for her phone, swiping open the screen and tapping her favorites list, thumb hovering over Spencer’s name. Then she tapped on the name right above it and blew out a breath.
The line connected and rang three times before she picked up. “Hey, sugar! Your ears must be ringin’, ‘cause I was just thinkin’ about callin’ you.”
“Hey, mama,” Y/N breathed.
Her mother’s tone changed from chipper to concerned in an instant. “What’s wrong, baby?”
She leaned forward to the coffee table to grab Spencer’s scarf— somehow left behind in her apartment— rubbing it between her fingers. “I— I really messed up.”
“Oh, Lord. You need bail money?”
Despite herself, Y/N laughed wetly. “Oh my god , mama. No, I don’t need bail money.”
“Well, if you made bail it can’t be that bad,” Rose insisted.
“I didn’t— I’m not in jail, for Christ’s sake.” Y/N ran a hand over her face. “I messed things up with Spencer.”
“Well, we can fix that,” Rose responded matter of factly. “What happened?”
“We were fighting, and I said some really, really awful things,” Y/N admitted, tears spilling over her lash line.
Rose scoffed. “Honey, I say awful things to your father all the time, and we’ve been married almost 40 years.”
Y/N heaved a long sigh. “Not like this, mama.”
Her mother hummed in consideration. “Well, what were y’all fightin’ about?”
“It’s complicated,” Y/N hedged, toying with the fringe of the scarf.
Rose clicked her tongue. “Do ya want my help or not?”
Y/N dropped her head back against the couch. “I ran into Owen on New Year’s Eve—”
“Well, I hope you told him to stick it where the sun don’t shine,” Rose practically growled.
Y/N closed her eyes as the tears tracked hot down her cheeks. “I didn’t. I— I let him get under my skin, and then I didn’t want to tell Spencer about it because it’s embarrassing, but he knew something was wrong, and he wouldn’t stop asking about it.” She had to pause and suck in a hiccuping breath, releasing it on a sob. “So I yelled at him and said all kinds of terrible things, and then he left, and now I think maybe we broke up, and I’ve literally never been so sad in my whole life.”
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone, and then she heard Rose sniffling. “Really shoulda had your brothers knock the mess out of that son of bitch when we had the chance. He's been gone five years, and he’s still hurtin’ you every chance he gets.”
Y/N swiped uselessly at the tear tracks on her cheeks, sniffling pathetically. “And now I hurt the person who’s spent the last year singlehandedly undoing all of his awful handiwork.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Rose cooed. Y/N could hear the creak of the floorboards as her mother walked through her childhood home. “You said he knew somethin’ was wrong, right? I can almost guarantee that he’s still just wonderin’ what’s goin’ on. I know he’s supposed to be a genius, but he’s still a man. And men are dumb, sugar. You gotta spell it out for ‘em. Have you talked to him since?”
“No.” Fresh tears spilled over Y/N’s lashes as the thoughts that had kept her from calling him spilled out of her mouth. “What if it was too far? What if I ruined everything? What if he never wants to speak to me again?”
Ross heaved out a long breath. “That’s a lot of what ifs, Y/N.”
“What if I’m right?” she whispered.
“And what if you’re not?” Rose countered. “That boy loves you. Anyone could see that, clear as day. He’d do just about anything for you.” Rose paused, and Y/N heard the springs of the bed squeak as she sat. “But you gotta let him, sweetheart. Right now you’re takin’ away his chance to do that. You’re makin’ the decision for him.”
Y/N listened as her mother’s advice crackled over the line, and for the first time in a week, she felt a tiny sliver of hope.
“If he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, you need to let him tell you that. Don’t settle for a what if. Find out for sure, or you're gonna spend the rest of your life worryin’ and wonderin’, sugar.”
That evening found Spencer in his usual spot on the couch, reclined against the arm with a book in hand. He’d promised himself he’d give Y/N the weekend to herself— that he’d let her come to him. That didn’t stop him from checking his phone obsessively; it never buzzed with any new calls or messages, but he still looked every seven minutes.
The sound of the buzzer jolted his body to attention. He checked his watch and drew his brows together before closing his book and scrambling to cross to the intercom, a tiny seed of hope beginning to germinate. He pressed the button to talk, calling, “Yes?” into the speaker box and then listening for the response.
“Hi.”
Her voice was so quiet that he could barely hear it over the crackle of the speaker. He buzzed her in without hesitation, crossing to the door and opening it immediately. She made her way slowly up the stairs, turning at the top of the landing and pausing.
His heart broke at the sight of her. She looked utterly exhausted, dressed in black sweatpants and a soft purple sweater, a black puffer jacket over top. She was holding his scarf, wringing it in between her hands. Her eyes were ringed red, and the bags under them were worse than his.
He watched as she crossed the landing, coming to stand quietly in front of him. He’d known something was wrong, but the way she looked now made him wonder just how long she’d been battling whatever private demons she wouldn’t let him in on.
“I, um.” She cleared her throat, and it was clear she’d been crying from the thickness of her voice. “I have a lot to say— again. But since I was such an asshole, I wanted to give you the opportunity to say anything you need to say first.”
He’d imagined this conversation countless times over the last week, and never once had he thought it would start like this. “Um. Well. You— you really hurt me.”
She could barely look at him. “I know.”
He swallowed. “Please don’t do that again.”
She shook her head, finally meeting his eyes. “I won’t. I won’t ever again.”
Spencer tucked his hands into the pockets of his lounge pants. “I know I may not be the best at social cues, but I’m a pretty good profiler. And I can tell when something’s wrong.” He raised his eyebrows. “You don’t have to tell me everything. I’m just asking you to tell me when I do something that makes you upset.”
“You— you didn’t do anything wrong. I—” He watched her squeeze her eyes shut. “God, I’m so sorry, Spencer. I’m just— I’m sorry for so many things. For lying about being fine, for being up on my high horse about communicating and then not actually doing it, for being an absolute bitch.”
He wanted to argue— she wasn’t a bitch— but he could tell she was far from done.
“I— I thought therapy was supposed to teach me how to talk about things, but this still feels… impossible to say out loud,” she admitted, fingers fumbling with the fabric of the scarf. “It’s embarrassing and ridiculous. But I— I have deep-seated insecurities. That I’m not really that smart or interesting or particularly special.”
He thought back to that night in Mitchell Park and felt the guilt all over again. He’d practically said those exact words to her— it was no wonder she was feeling this way.
“And every person that I’ve ever been with has— really reinforced those ideas, so for a long time they were just… a set part of my self-image,” she explained, dragging a hand over her messy hair. “I thought— I thought that I was over it, but I— I don’t know. Maybe you never really are.”
His brain sorted through every moment of their year together, pinging off the countless examples of her self-doubt and insecurity. She was easily the most wonderful person he knew, but he could clearly see the cracks in the facade if he looked close enough. How had he missed it for so long?
“And then I met you, and you…” Y/N let out a wry laugh. “You’re easily the most interesting person I’ve ever met, but you made me feel like… I don’t know, like I’m interesting, too. Like I’m worthy of being with you, like I’m— like I’m good enough.”
He felt his heart splintering into a thousand tiny shards— good enough?
“But I can’t— I still have a hard time believing it sometimes. And I— I’ve been letting myself keep you at arms length. Letting you see parts of me, but… never giving you everything,” she admitted.
He watched her struggle to get the words out, her voice thick with the act of holding back sobs. He hadn’t realized she was carrying all of this. She was so good at supporting him and loving him through all of his trauma and issues, he hadn’t stopped to consider just how much she needed him, too.
She continued, “It’s why I took so long to say I love you… why I couldn’t talk to you last week. Because I just—” She shrugged as the tears rolled down her cheeks. “I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For you to realize that I’m really nothing special. That you’re getting bored, or there’s someone who’s a better fit for you, or one million other things. That I’m needy, and annoying, and too much work.”
A fresh tear tracked down her cheek, and he felt his own eyes filling. She never failed to put a stop to his own insecurities— reminding him that she liked his rambling, that he wasn’t irritating, that he was just the right amount. In his eyes, she was perfect. He would have never guessed she felt this way about herself.
She continued, “That’s what happened before, and none of those guys were even half as wonderful as you are.” She swiped a hand haphazardly over her cheeks, looking at him sheepishly. “And then I was hurtful and awful, and I realized that I was just creating a self fulfilling prophecy and I don’t— I don’t want to do that.”
Her hand shook a little as she brought it back down to twist in his scarf. “Because it’s never— I’ve never felt like this. I've never been this happy with anyone else, and I don’t want to give that up. I don’t want to give you up. Even if sometimes I feel like I’ll never be enough.”
Her voice cracked on a stifled cry, and his chest physically ached. “And if you never want to see me again, I completely understand, and I’ll leave you alone, but I— I’m just so sorry. And I love you so much, and I’m trying so hard to be better.” She sucked in a ragged breath and let it out on an exhausted sigh. “And that’s, um— that’s it. If you want me to go, I—”
“I don’t want you to go,” he interrupted.
Her eyes went wide. “You don’t?”
“Of course not.” Spencer stepped forward and reached for her. “Of course not. C’mere.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, she was tumbling into his arms with a choked off sob. He pulled her inside and closed the door behind them, walking her to the couch and sitting them both down. She clung to him like she was afraid he’d disappear into thin air.
“Y/N, I’m right here,” he assured her. “I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”
“But if you n-need space, I understand,” she sobbed.
“I appreciate the offer, but I don’t need space. I think a week was long enough, don’t you?” he asked, pressing a kiss into her hair.
She pulled back out of the hug, head down. “But I really hurt you.”
He held her hand. “Yeah. And I really hurt you, too.”
She huffed out a breath. “That’s not how this works. I don’t get to hurt you just because you hurt me.”
“I know that.” He almost laughed at how indignant she sounded. “I’m not saying that we should hurt each other. I’m saying that sometimes it happens. And when it does, we apologize, and we forgive, and we move forward. And it’s okay if you need space. But I don’t.”
“What if you change your mind?” she whispered.
“Then I promise I’ll tell you.” Spencer tilted her chin up so he could meet her eyes. “I promise I’ll tell you what I need, as long as you tell me, too. We’ve gotta use all those communication skills we learn in therapy.”
Y/N nodded, and he pulled her into another hug. He closed his eyes, letting out a sigh of relief. “If I hadn’t heard from you by Sunday, I was planning to bother you until you talked to me.”
He could feel the beginning of a smile turning up the corner of her mouth where it was pressed to his shoulder. “You never bother me,” she mumbled. She held him for a moment longer and then released him from the hug and sat back, fidgeting with her hands and letting out a breath.
“Sometimes I need to be told that my worst fears about myself aren’t true,” she admitted. “I know that’s so annoying, but—”
“It’s not annoying,” he interrupted, putting an immediate stop to that line of thought. “Telling you how amazing you are isn’t the chore that you think it is. I’m sorry that anyone ever convinced you that it was.”
He covered her hands with his own, rubbing his thumbs softly along her skin. He couldn’t stop thinking about her dealing with all of this by herself. He hated that she’d ever felt anything less than adored. More than anything, he hated that he hadn’t been able to help her through it. And he wanted to make sure that he never made that mistake again.
“A wise man told me once... that love is helping someone navigate their storms,” he murmured, squeezing her hand. She looked at him then, and he continued, “You’ve been my lighthouse for a long time, Y/N. And I— I’m trying desperately to be yours… But you have to let me.”
Her eyes filled with fresh tears, but she nodded. He let out a long breath and pulled her hands into his lap. “I understand that sometimes you need space, and that’s fine. I’m happy to give you whatever you need.”
He shook his head. “Just— please don’t try to weather the storm by yourself. You can’t do it all alone; no one can.” He smiled ruefully. “I can tell you from experience that’s pretty much a guaranteed way to capsize your boat.”
His voice cracked a little at the end, and he felt a tear slip over his lash line. “I’ll help you repair your boat, or build a new one, or you can just float on mine for a while. It’s not perfect but it’s pretty sturdy, I think.”
She brought her fingers up to brush at his damp cheeks, and he met her eyes. “What I’m not going to do is let you float out on the ocean by yourself. I love you too much.”
She was quiet for a long moment, sniffling a little and just watching him— almost like she couldn’t believe he was there. She brought her hand back to his and laced their fingers together, rubbing her thumb along his skin. “I love you the most.”
“Agree to disagree.” He gave her a small smile and leaned forward to press his lips to her forehead. “Want some tea?”
She was frowning when he pulled back, her brows drawn together. “I need to tell you about Owen.”
The conversation he’d had with Anita was suddenly on replay in Spencer’s head.
… a real piece of shit… telling her lies about herself… isolating her… destroying her from the inside out...
He squeezed her hand. “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready. You don’t have to tell me at all if you don’t want to.”
She shook her head. “Talking about him takes away his power. I have to stop letting him have so much sway over my emotions.” She looked at him then. “I do things I regret and hurt people I love.”
He brought their joined hands up his lips. “Well, I’m here either way. And I’m still going to make you some tea.”
He stood and pulled her up with him, bringing her into the kitchen and refusing to let go of her hand. He filled the kettle and turned it on, found a bag of her favorite tea and ripped it open with his teeth. He dropped the bag into her favorite mug, and then made a mug up for himself.
“You know, it’d be a lot easier if you’d let go,” she said, the hint of a smile in her voice.
“Mhm,” he agreed, but he made no move to release her hand. In fact, once he’d fumbled a spoonful of honey into each of the cups, he dropped the spoon into her mug and turned to pull her into another hug. He hooked his chin over her shoulder and closed his eyes as she brought her arms around his waist. “I missed you,” he whispered.
She squeezed him tight. “I missed you, too. I’m so sorry.”
She buried her face in his neck, and he felt her breathe him in. He pressed a kiss into her shoulder and then settled his chin again. “Apology accepted, in case it wasn’t clear.”
They stood like that until the kettle began to whistle, and then Spencer kept her tucked underneath his arm as he turned to shut it off and pour the water into the mugs. They each grabbed a mug, making their way back to the couch and setting them on the coffee table to steep. Spencer kept their fingers intertwined and stayed quiet, letting her set the pace of the conversation.
Y/N took a deep breath and let it out on a long sigh. “I guess I should start at the beginning. I, um— I had my first boyfriend in high-school: Cal Cunningham. He was older and cooler, and so I felt— I don’t know… special when he picked me.” She rolled her eyes. “In reality, he was rude, and arrogant, and kind of a misogynist. We didn’t date for very long, but it kind of… set me up on this path of dating guys who weren’t very nice.”
Spencer ran his thumb soothingly along hers, waiting for her to continue. “When I started college, I dated this guy Adam for a few months. He was nice enough but really self-centered and a little immature. When we broke up I just wanted to be on my own for a while.”
“I was single for two years after that, just kind of… finding myself and whatever.” Her eyes tracked the path his thumb traced along her skin. “So when I started dating Owen at the end of junior year, it felt like my first real relationship. Like— we were both adults, and he dressed up for our dates, and he paid for things and bought me flowers and fit all the cliches.”
“And it was great at first,” she admitted. “We had a lot of the same friends, so we’d been hanging out for a while before we got together. He was a perfect gentleman— and smart, accomplished, and ambitious. I fell fast, and I fell hard, and we were sort of— it feels so stupid to say this, but it felt like we were an it couple.”
“A few of us made plans to move to DC after graduation— my friend Jess and her boyfriend Chris, Sam and Anita,” she explained. “And Owen and I, obviously. We moved in together in an apartment downtown. And that’s when everything changed.”
She drew her brows together. “It was little things at first. Like he’d jokingly call me stupid for forgetting something, or he’d complain about one of my friends being annoying. But it snowballed pretty quickly. He’d tell me I was stupid, and he wasn’t joking. All of my friends irritated him to the point where we couldn’t hang out anymore— even our former mutual friends. He thought that teaching kindergarten was a mindless, pointless job.”
Spencer tried to keep his heart rate steady, his facial expressions neutral, but his blood pressure was on the rise. No one deserved to be spoken to like that, least of all Y/N.
She continued, “We spent the holidays at my parents’ the second year we were dating, and he spent the entire car ride home explaining, in detail, how ridiculous and low-class he thought everything was.”
She shook her head and rubbed her free hand over her face. “I know it’s insane that I stayed with him for five years, but I— he did a really good job of convincing me that I was... that I was nothing. That he was doing me a favor by loving me. That he could have anyone, but he chose me. No one else was going to, so I should be grateful.”
He balled his free hand into a fist to avoid squeezing her to death. When Anita had said Owen was a piece of shit… he hadn’t realized just how deeply she meant it.
She picked at the fabric of her sweatpants, staring intently at the tiny pills. “When someone says all of that to you on a daily basis, and you’re not hearing otherwise from anyone else— because no one knew what was going on— when someone tells you you’re nothing… you start to believe it.”
Spencer relaxed his fist to bring his fingers up to her face, gently cupping her cheek. She leaned into his touch and closed her eyes for a long moment. He didn’t know what to say. Instead, he pressed his lips to her forehead in a voiceless assurance that she was, in fact, everything. He felt her relax under the warm pressure of his lips, and he hoped that was enough for now.
He sat back to let her continue. “We were together for five years, and we only broke up because he cheated on me. It was a long term affair; they were sleeping together for almost a year before I found out. And… a lot of people knew. Almost all of his friends knew. But I didn’t. I was still being this ridiculous, desperate little Suzy Homemaker trying to make him happy, even though he was still treating me like shit.”
She laughed, but there wasn’t an ounce of humor in it. “When I found out, I wasn’t even hurt. I was… embarrassed, I guess. But I was so relieved. I was so fucking relieved that I had a way out.”
He watched as her shoulders settled, almost like an actual weight had been lifted off of them. “I got a therapist and dropped all of the friends that were still hanging around with him. I moved to a new neighborhood, started hanging out with Anita and Sam, and just— started fresh. And I was doing really well. I’ve had my moments of insecurity here and there, but for the most part, I’ve been able to recognize the moments when I’m falling back into old thought patterns.”
She looked at him then, and her eyes were so soft and lovely that his heart ached. “You’re a big reason for that. You’re so open with how you feel about me, and… it makes things a lot easier.” She dropped her gaze with a sigh. “But I— he was at the party on New Year's. And I didn’t know he was going to be there until I was already there , and then it felt stupid to leave. I thought I could handle it—”
“And then I didn’t answer your call.”
“No, no .” She shook her head and reached her free hand out to grasp his arm. “That’s— Spencer, none of this is your fault.” She furrowed her brow, and the crease between them was practically an abyss. “He sort of— cornered me on the patio. I hadn’t seen him in like, four years? And he was complimenting me, and asking about you, and then he tried to— well, he did kiss me actually. I shoved him off, and he didn’t like that, and he did his whole Owen thing. Told me that he’d cheated because I was uninteresting and worthless. That eventually you’d get bored of me, too. Just, um— generally awful shit.”
She took a deep breath, and the rest steamrolled off her tongue and over his heart. “And then he just— left . And he’d absolutely demolished my self-image in less than ten minutes, and I was embarrassed and angry at myself, and then you didn’t answer, but I was kind of glad you didn’t because I didn’t actually want to talk about it. And I thought I could just move on, but then I was being weird, and you knew something was wrong. And I just wanted to pretend like it never happened, but then you kept pressing me on it, and I just— I didn’t want to have to explain it all to you because I was afraid that— that maybe he was right.”
Y/N dissolved back into the couch, an unwelcome indication of the emotional exhaustion that came with reliving trauma. Spencer moved closer and mirrored the position of her body against the cushions, bringing his face close enough to bump their noses together. They breathed the same air for one noiseless minute before she finally met his eyes.
“I need you to understand that not one single thing he said to you— on New Year’s or ever— was right, in either sense of the word. None of it was factual, and none of it was acceptable.”
She gave him a weary nod, and he continued, “You are the single best person that I know. You’re kind, brilliant, and driven. You’re interesting, and wonderful, and lovely. You’re my absolute favorite person on the planet, and I will never get bored of you.”
He let his eyes trace over all the angles and curves of her face, and then raised his eyebrows. “He’s lucky that I respect you enough not to go over your head, because what I’d like to do is run a full background check and find any and every possible transgression that could be legally investigated and then use that information to ruin his life.” He tilted his head in thought. “That or— get really jacked and then beat the shit out of him.”
“God, please don’t. As much as I’d love to watch that unfold,” she cupped his face in her hand, “you’re better than that. And he’s not worth either of our energies… I already wasted enough time dwelling on it and hurt you in the process.” She dropped her hand back to her lap with a sigh. “I spent so much time in that relationship that my brain didn’t know what to do with this good, healthy one.”
He took both of her hands in his, squeezing them tight and then pressing a kiss to the back of each. He wouldn’t commit assault, since she’d asked him not to. But he wasn’t going to let Owen taint any part of his life with her.
“I’m so sorry that someone you loved made you think it was hard to love you. Because loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.” He pressed his lips together and mused, “But I think maybe love has a learning curve. Especially when you’re used to being hurt. You have to unlearn all the bullshit. People will have you thinking that you have to water yourself down, or change who you are, or make yourself more palatable. I thought that, too.”
He brushed her hair back away from her face and waited for her to meet his eyes. “And then I met you. And you love all of it— all of me. All the rambling, all the quirks, and— even the dark parts, too.”
She sniffled a little, but really smiled for the first time that night. “What’s not to love about you?”
He smiled back. “I’m not sure if you realize that I fully reciprocate that feeling. What’s not to love about you? I have a hard time thinking of even one thing about you that I don’t absolutely adore.”
“Even when I act like a horrid bitch?” she mumbled, only half joking.
He leaned his head against the couch cushion. “A year ago, you stood on my doorstep and gave me forgiveness— after I’d been a complete asshole to you... I told you then that I wanted to learn how to love with you. I still do. In all the wonderful, and the weird, and the terrible. Even when we get it wrong.”
He shrugged, and then ran a soft fingertip down the bridge of her nose. “There is no one else I’d rather get it wrong with. Because when we get it right… it’s the closest I’ve ever felt to magic.”
Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, and she brought both hands up to his face, holding him with an adoration that made his own eyes burn. “You can believe that you love me the most,” she whispered, “but just know that you’re wrong.”
He leaned forward to close the distance between them, pressing a kiss to her lips with a reverence that felt technicolor and devout and more magical than any trick he’d ever mastered.
“Agree to disagree.”
———
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yandere-daydreams · 3 years
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Thoughts on a lover turning monster yandere? Your devoted partner goes through a horrific transformation into a blood thirsty, ravenous creature, subsequently shattering their mind- yet when they lock their dozen sets of eyes with yours, underneath the depraved animal they’ve become a sliver of their sanity connects the dots that you are their mate and they need to provide for you. In that moment, you realize you’re f*cked.
tw - toxic relationships, imprisonment, threats of violence, non-consensual touching, possessive mindsets, generalized monster-fucking antics.
I think it’d be better if the transformation was purposeful, organized, not exactly planned, but carried out with a certain degree of awareness of what comes next, after they drink a certain potion or don a certain amulet or do whatever they have to do to make their legs bend like that, their teeth sharpen into fangs, skin soon hidden under scales and pupils stretched into slits and mind distorted, twisted, made into something hazy and primitive and violent, even you’ve still never been on the receiving end of their new temper. It could’ve been an act of desperation, an act of heroism, something fleeting and panicked or calculated and thought through - it doesn’t really matter. As long as you’re stuck with a monster when they’re done, the results will always be the same. 
It’s unclear whether or not they remember you. Some days, you think it’d be easier if they didn’t, if they were only acting out of instinct, if the beast you’ve been trapped by only decided to take you as its mate on an impulse rather than any lasting sentiment for the human lover they may or may not remember fondly. They touch you gently, sure, never letting curved talons break thin skin, but that could just be a reflex, an inclination, a lingering desire not to harm what belongs to them. They try to comfort you, occasionally, muttering sweet, incoherent nothings as you scream, curling their strange new body around you whenever you cry, but they might just realize what comes afterward, what kind of fits you’re prone to, and they probably just want to avoid the next inevitable escape attempt or violent bout of resistance for another day. It’d be better, if they didn’t know you, if there was line to separate creature from mortal. It’d be less cruel, if they didn’t know what they were doing, if this was just a curse that could be broken or an illness they could recover from. It’d be easier, if there was nothing left of the person you once loved.
But, there’s only so much you can do to avoid how family their voice sounds, even if it’s been rougher than it used to be, even if it’s nearly been warped past the point of recognition. You can’t ignore the spots they choose to linger on, how much time they spend with their head resting on your lap or their teeth buried in the crook of your neck, revisiting old favorites despite how difficult their new form makes such practiced affection. You can’t overlook their habits, their tics, the flash of recognition that pass through their glassy eyes when they look at you, when they hear your laugh, when you let yourself fall far enough to believe something as simple as begging would be enough to cure them of whatever they’ve been afflicted with. It’s not often, but it’s there - hints of the person they used to be, of the lover you wish you could convince yourself you’d lost. A trace of humor when you mention a joke they used to find funny, the eerie calmness you’re treated to whenever you fail to pull away from their touch, and their anger, hot and smoldering and just as violent as it used to be, when they returned to you covered in bruises rather than blood, when they took on the role of prey rather than that of the predator. They don’t seem happy, but they don’t seem miserable as they should be, either. They’re not the person you recognized, but you’d be lying to yourself if you tried to say your captor is as alien as you’d like to believe.
They’re certainly not human, and yet, you’re starting to wonder if they ever really were.
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