#I wrote this half asleep don’t attack me please

[11thsdoctress]

“make me human..” [Eleventh Doctor / Reader]

Fandom: Doctor Who

Ship: Eleventh Doctor / Reader

Word Count: 1021

Summary:  Recalling some fun memories comes with remembering the bad ones, and since the brain does not know how to shut up, it got the best of you, til the Doctor found you in that vulnerable state.

Author’s Note: Okay so I wrote this fic with my brain half asleep, and this was a request by @/deathgripz on AO3: “ can you write a story where the reader has a panic attack and the eleventh doctor tries to distract/comfort them? thank you sm if you can!!!"

“For the last time, stay here in the Tardis, I don’t want you to get hurt again.” The Doctor commanded as he shuts the doors,

You just sigh as you sat on the stairs and try to relax, you wanted to join him on kicking Dalek circuit butts, but he wanted you to stay this time made you slightly upset and guilty on starting that argument in the first place.

Remembering some adventures and memories of you and the Doctor going on multiple time periods and planets had gotten you hooked to the adrenaline and the adventurous spirit, even to the point that you would join in almost every day.

Remembering some good memories comes with also remembering the bad ones,

At first, it was just the embarrassing moments, like the one time the Doctor had walked in on kissing your then partner, or the time where He was plainly changing his clothes right in front of you, as an alien was on its way back to earth.

You brushed it off again until the more unpleasant memories fueled your nagging brain,

You could vividly remember each small detail, your brain scrutinizing every detail, the time when you and The Doctor almost died multiple times from the Daleks, and you hated the times when the Doctor had to put himself in danger just to save you from the various dangers of space and time.

Each unpleasant memory came with the feeling of re-living the emotions and stress of each moment, replaying the thrill and anguish of how many near-death moments had happened and trying to fathom the feeling after the said moment.

The more unpleasant memories are recalled, breathing became harder to do, and you were trying to ground yourself, however, your brain got the best of you, and you started to overthink, blaming yourself,

“He almost died so many times because of you”

“You’re just another burden to him.”

“You should’ve stayed at home.”

The voices in your head were beating you down so much that you sunk to the floor, burying your face in your knees, not wanting to see the TARDIS’ surroundings, breathing became almost impossible as your hands were starting to shake, and you were feeling lightheaded.

As you were about to try to make it to your room in the TARDIS, a sudden barging sound made you flinch,

“The Daleks could never outsmart the one and only-” The Doctor’s proud and happy look dropped when he saw your state, 

“I’m sorry… You shouldn’t see me like this..” You say softly as you looked away in an effort to hide your tear-soaked face, and spare yourself from the possibility that this would be another embarrassing memory to think back to.

Not saying anything after that, you tried to stable your breathing, but the scary part was not hearing the Doctor talk for a bit,

You were silently blaming yourself, for letting him see you like this, but suddenly, your world stopped when the Doctor kneeled down and suddenly pulled you into a hug.

“Dear, I’m sorry you had to feel that way, but please tell me if something is bothering you, it kills me that you can’t tell me if something is killing you.” He gently says as he plays with your hair for a bit.

You nodded, “I-it’s just that…. I think that I might be just a burden to-”

He places a hand on top of your mouth, shutting you up instantly,

“Don’t say that about yourself, I want you to be here, You are my companion, and I am your Doctor, again, I want you here, not just to witness me looking so clever, but to make me feel human.”

You look at him as he said the last sentence,

“It sounds a bit selfish, and I’m not the best when it comes to comforting another human, but you make me feel and sound sane, and you make me believe that I have the capacity and ability to care for someone, After all, I’d be a terrible Doctor if I left you for dead.” he leans forward connecting both of your foreheads.

“All I want now is for you to relax and get out of your own head, okay?” He looks at you, waiting for your answer.

“Alright.” You say weakly, “But can we stay like this?” you ask shyly, blushing a bit.

“As long as you want.” he plainly replies as he gently brushes and plays with your hair.

He just held you as the TARDIS drifted away in space as you slowly fell asleep in his arms. Noticing this, he smiled a bit as he carefully carried you to the bunk beds on board, instead of placing you in your upper bunk, he placed you in his bed on the lower bunk.

After placing you on his bed, he just sat on the edge of the bed for a bit, making sure you were fast asleep, not wanting to breach your privacy, he stood up, but stopped as he felt your hand grabbing his wrist.

“Please stay.” you ask, “I want you to rest as well.”

“You know I don’t sleep, right?” he scratches his head.

“Don’t care.” you pulled him into the small bed, making him lay next to you,

Blushing, he just stayed quiet, and slowly, both of you slowly fell asleep.

Bonus: 

You wake up with arms wrapped around you tightly, you look over to see the Doctor’s peaceful but asleep look, moving a bit to adjust, he suddenly mumbles, “don’t move, 5 more minutes, love.” he sleeptalks, making you blush a bit.

Gently waking the Doctor by shaking him a bit, “I thought you wanted to explore and kick Dalek butt?” you whispered as you didn’t want to be too loud.

“Nope, I like this, and I changed my mind, I want this to last longer so shush.” He was awake but didn’t bother to open his eyes, as he pulled you closer.

You just quietly giggled and rolled your eyes as you just stayed there, enjoying the peaceful moment, making it a core memory with your Doctor.

=============================

Author’s Note:

I hope ya’ll like this fic I wrote when my brain was half asleep and was trying it’s best to form words and sentences that make sense. so yeah, hope to catch up with the requests aaaaa

#doctor who #11th Doctor #11th doctor x reader #11th doctor x you #eleventh doctor #eleventh doctor x reader #eleventh doctor x you #doctor who x you #doctor who fic #DW fanfic

[kpopimaginings]

Stray Kids Reaction (Hyung Line) - Finding you after/during an attempt

TRIGGER WARNING: Do not read any further if you may be triggered by stories about suicide, mental health, depression, anxiety. (If there are any TW tags that you have blocked and I haven’t used, tell me! I will add them)

I would also like to make it clear that in none of scenarios is what happens actually because of the members. It is written from their perspectives where they may blame themselves, but that is not how depression normally works.

A/N: Me and my friend wrote this as a sort of therapy for ourselves. I had a panic attack and was then crying to which they responded ‘What would Bang Chan do if he saw you like this?’ (guess who my bias is) and from there things spiralled!

Hyung line: Part 1 - Part 2

Maknae line: Part 1 - Part 2

There will be a part two (which could also stand alone) of the super fluff that happens when he can properly talk to you/take care of you after.

Bang Chan

Chan was in his studio getting ready to go live for his Stays when he noticed his phone ping.

Will you be long? read the text you had sent.

He was quick to respond, I'll be as quick as I can for you 😘

With Chan's busy idol schedule it felt like you two hadn't seen each other in ages and were definitely due a catch up.

Sticking his phone on silent so it wouldn't interrupt his stream he turned on his camera.

Things were going as normal, him happily joking around with Stay and them recommending songs for each other, when about halfway through Chan noticed a worrying comment from one of the fans watching. He was quick to pick up on it and check in, asking if they were ok and ending up hosting an impromptu group therapy session for himself and Stay.

It wasn't until he had finished hugging Stay goodbye that he realised just how long he had actually been live for. His next thought was of you and the text you had sent, prompting him to pull out his phone and give you a call. A call that went unanswered.

He quickly dashed about gathering everything he needed to head to yours, trying you again as he left the door. Again, there was no response. He could feel himself starting to panic now. You were the one who had initiated things before his live, so he really didn't think you would have plans, but why else wouldn't you be answering? As he drove over, he kept trying to convince himself you were either asleep or mad at him for over running his live. Surely, he was going to arrive to your pouty face complaining that it had taken him so long to get to you. Right?

Fumbling with the key as he tried to slot it into the lock on your door he cursed himself under his breath.

"She'll be fine," he muttered. "You're overreacting. She'll be fine." He repeated the last sentence as a mantra in his mind as if saying it enough times would make it true.

Once he'd finally gained enough physical control to open your door, he rushed in, calling out your name as he tripped over the step of your threshold.

Silence.

"Baby?" he called out reaching the stairs. "I'm sorry I was late. I know I'm a terrible boyfriend, please don't give me the silent treatment."

It was suspiciously dark upstairs, the only light coming from underneath the bathroom door. Without thinking, he swung open the door.

"Baby, why-" Bang Chan cut himself off as he noticed the half-consumed pill bottle in your hand, realising what must have happened.

You froze, staring at your boyfriend's terrified expression. Realisation spread across your face as Bang Chan's presence pulled you back to reality. As tears started to pool in your eyes, you tried to form the words for an apology.

Before you can actually say anything, Chan is right beside you, knocking the remaining pills from your hand to clatter on the tiled floor.

In one swift movement, one arm is around your shoulders, causing you to hunch over as he proceeded to jam the fingers of his other hand into your mouth and down your throat, forcing you to bring up the pills you had tried to overdose on. Once he felt you had brought up enough, he sunk to the floor with you in his arms.

He continued to hold you close with one arm while pulling out his phone to call for an ambulance. As you sat in the bathroom together waiting for the ambulance to arrive, his grip on you only tightened. With one hand running through your hair and the other keeping you cradled into his chest he muttered apologies and affirmations of love to you over and over, barely audible over the tears you were now both shedding.

If only he could turn back time and finish that damn live sooner. You needed him, he wasn't there for you, and he nearly lost you.

Lee Know

Lee Know had recently got a copy of your key and was super excited to get to use it and surprise you with a visit. It had been a while since the two of you had properly spent time together, so he was looking forward to spending a calm evening in with you between his hectic idol schedule.

Happy with how easily he got through your front door, he neatly left his shoes in the entryway before venturing through to the living room.

"Surprise," he called as he approached. "Y/N?" he added when there was no response. "It's your wonderful, amazing boyfriend."

Swinging the door open, the wide smile was wiped from his face in an instant.

Before he had consciously registered the scene in front of him, he was beside you, ripping a hole in the plastic bag covering your face. Once you were free of the obstruction, he leant in close to check if you were breathing. When there was no sign of life, he wasted no time in moving you into the correct position for CPR, thanking God that he had paid attention to all those first aid videos Chan was always getting him to watch. Whipping his phone out, he called 112 leaving it beside him on speaker as he started chest compressions.

As the operator answered all they heard was Lee Know counting to himself.

"6, 7, 8," he continued, not realising the call had been answered.

"112, what's the nature of your emergency?" the voice at the other end asked.

Surprising himself with how calmly he responded he gave your address, informing them that you were not breathing when he found you.

"Ok, there's an ambulance 5 minutes from your location," the equally calm operator informed him, before praising him and helping him count through the compressions.

Once they got to 30, he was instructed to stop, tilt your head back and pinch your nose as he administered 2 rescue breaths. However, he barely registered the instructions, watching for your chest to rise with each of his breaths.

Returning to chest compressions, he'd counted as far as five when a crack from your side made him wince, his heart dropping as he forced himself to keep counting.

"It's ok," came a reassuring voice from the phone lying beside you. "Good compressions can do that, you're doing an amazing job for them. Keep it up, the ambulance is 3 minutes out."

Time slipped away from him as he continued counting out 30 compressions followed by two rescue breaths repeatedly. His voice fading out as he tired, putting all of his energy towards saving you.

A sudden banging at the front door momentarily pulled his undivided attention from you. "Shibal," he muttered, remembering that the door will have locked itself behind him.

"The ambulance has arrived," the operator spoke. "Is there someone who can open the door?"

"Just me," he lamented. "Ah, the spare key! It's in the hanging basket. Please hurry.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered to you as regret over the wasted time filled his eyes with tears. Lee Know could tell he was at the end of his tether as everything caught up to him, both the physical exertion of administering CPR and the mental trauma of finding the love of his life in this position.

Continued praise and assurance came through the phone until the paramedics were beside him. One knelt immediately, moving their hands towards your chest.

"Great job, I've got it from here," they assured your exhausted boyfriend.

It took a gentle tap from the paramedic to snap Lee Know out of his focussed state, at which point he slumped backwards, his eyes never leaving you. Panting for breath, he could only watch helplessly as an oxygen mask was placed over your face and the other paramedic began attaching the defibrillator to your chest.

No longer able to actively help you, the stress and panic caught up to him and the tears began to pour from Lee Know's eyes. All he could do now was sit and pray for the moment the machine would declare a stable heartbeat. Terrified he hadn't done enough to save you.

(A/N: In case you ever need to use it, this was written by two trained First Aiders, the CPR technique here is what First Aid and Paramedics here in the UK are taught. If you don’t want to administer rescue breaths, you can just do compressions, but chance of survival is higher with the breaths.)

Changbin

​It had been the most perfect day. When Changbin had told you he was going to cheer you up he had really meant it. Being aware of your diagnosis, and having sensed a recent dip in your mood, he had pulled out all the stops to give you at least one day's respite from the relentless torment you brain was putting you through.

The perfection began with a ring of your doorbell. Pulling the door open, you were greeted by your boyfriend's pouty smile shining through a bunch of your favourite flowers.

"Huh, I was expecting my boyfriend, but all I see is some floating flowers."

Binnie flushed, dropping the aegyo slightly as he glanced down at your compliment before confidently puffing out his chest.

"Suprise, he's right here," he said, lowering the flowers as he pecked your cheek. "You look even more beautiful than this measly bunch though."

It was your turn to be flustered now, taking the opportunity to hide by putting on your shoes.

"Where are we going then?" you say in an attempt to change the subject.

"Everywhere," Changbin announced with a cheeky grin.

You sighed and rolled your eyes, before quickly grabbing the flowers from him and running to pop them in water.

"You're really not going to tell me?" you called out as he waited for you by the door.

"You'll see when we get there."

"Stating the obvious, but ok," you sassed as you returned to him.

"Ready?" he asked, offering you his arm.

"Of course," you replied, hooking your arm through his.

As the two of ventured out, you remembered thinking to yourself that by now you really should have known better than to underestimate your boyfriend. When he said you were going everywhere he really meant it. You started at the aquarium, the pair of you naming some of the fish and inventing little sitcom-esque scenarios for them.

From there he led you to the bubble tea place you'd been talking about visiting for ages. Then round the corner to your favourite food stall, where you delighted in feeding each other ssambap.

"Yah," he shouted at you when you began to close a meatless wrap.

"What?" you asked, innocently.

"Surely I've not fallen in love with someone as cruel as Han!"

You froze for a moment. "Fallen in love?"

"I thought you knew that," he replied. "I don't plan elaborate dates for just anyone."

You couldn't help but smile at his words, before adding some meat to the food parcel in your hands and feeding it to your boyfriend.

He then took you shopping, eventually confiscating your card when you tried to pay for your own things one too many times. Complaining that all he wanted to do was treat his partner and you were making it much harder than it should be. You could tell he was so proud to be able buy whatever you wanted so you conceded, starting to deliberately pick up cheaper items. Until he led you to a very expensive jewellery store.

"Binnie, don't waste your money on me," you pleaded.

He stopped, turning to you and taking your face in his hands. "You are not a waste of money," he told you, carefully and deliberately.

You just nodded and allowed him to disappear for a moment, presumably to pick something out for you. When he returned, apparently empty handed, you dropped the subject and allowed him to take you home.

As you entered your house, you turned to your boyfriend.

"Thank you, Binnie," you told him, smiling a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes.

"Hey, you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, this was perfect, I just don't want it to end."

"Me neither," he agreed, leaning into kiss you.

You placed a hand on the back of his neck, holding him close for a moment longer, savouring the love you felt in his touch.

"See you soon," he smiled pulling away.

"I love you," you replied with a little wave slowly closing the door.

"Love you, too," Changbin replied, refusing to turn away until the door had closed completely.

Binnie was halfway back to his place when he realised his mistake. The surprise gift he bought you.

"Yah pabo," he mumbled to himself, "You forgot the highlight of the day!"

He turned around and rushed back to yours, today had to be completely perfect and, of course, he'd mess up the best part. At least it meant he'd get to see you again today. He chuckled to himself. How did he miss you already? It had only been around 10 minutes since he said goodbye, but he was overjoyed at the thought of seeing you again. Imagining how your face would light up when you saw his gift, that complete smile he hadn't seen in a while, had his heart racing.

He let himself in this time, wanting it to be a total surprise for you, but before he could call out your name, he heard a loud thud upstairs. Worried you could have tripped and hurt yourself he ran upstairs calling out for you. As he rounded the top of your stairs he could see in through your open doorway. His world stopped.

It was as your eyes met his that the regret kicked in. You began to struggle, clawing at the rope around your neck as your legs helplessly flailed around. He could see the panic in your eyes. His body then kicked into gear, running towards you. One arm wrapped around the top of your legs, supporting your waist as his free hand helped you pull the rope away from your neck.

He shifted your weight so that you would fall against your bed, cushioning the landing as much as he could with his arms around you.

"Why?" was the first thing he said. "Jagi, why?"

You couldn't answer as you simply curled up against him, sobbing into his chest. As you fell apart in his arms, he managed to pull out his phone to call an ambulance. During the wait, he couldn't stop the thoughts circling his mind.

Why? Was his love not enough? After this perfect day... Was he not enough?

Hyunjin

"Jinnie, come on, it's not going anywhere, just come home and sleep on it," you begged as your boyfriend insisted on running his routine again.

"No, I can fix this one bit."

"It doesn't need fixing, you're just being a perfectionist," you continued.

"Of course, you don't think it needs fixing," Hyunjin bit back. "It's not like you know anything about dance."

Instead of rising to his comment, you simply started to gather your things and head out.

"Jagi?" Hyunjin questioned harshly as you reached the door.

"Just fix your stupid dance if it's that important to you," you sighed, exasperated as you left the room.

"Fine, I will," he called after you, turning back to the mirror as the door slammed shut behind you.

The longer he spent practicing the more he felt his frustration ebb away. After the 5th run through, he finally felt ready for a rational conversation with you. Just as he was turning off the music he heard the door to the practice room swing open.

"Ah, jagi, I'm sorry," he said without turning.

"It's ok, yeobo, I forgive you."

Hyunjin straightened suddenly, turning to see Lee Know stood in the doorway. "I thought you were Y/N," he blushed, sighing at his hyung.

"Being a petty boyfriend again?" Lee Know teased.

Hyunjin just pouted and rolled his eyes as he finished clearing up.

"Just thought I'd make sure you weren't working yourself to death in here," the older boy commented. "Pleased you're packing up, now go apologise, pabo."

Hyunjin scoffed, shoulder checking Lee Know on the way out. "You're the only member of paboracha here," he muttered under his breath, before disappearing down the corridor.

"Update me when you've fixed things... PABO," Lee Know shouted after him.

Almost automatically Hyunjin headed to yours, knocking a few times on the front door. When there was no answer, he sighed dramatically as he bent to grab your spare key from its hiding place.

"Jagi, I'm home!" Hyunjin called out as he came through the door. "And I'm sorry," he added as adorably as he possibly could.

He carefully toed off his shoes before padding through the house in search of signs of life. When he reached the landing and heard water running in the bathroom, he wasn't at all surprised. A bath always was one of your favourite ways to relax.

"Jagi," he said softly, tapping on the door. "I know I was blunt with you back there, but I'm sorry."

He waited for a reply, but none came.

"Yah, jagi! Come on," he whined. "You don't have to shut me out. I'm apologising."

Your persistent silence had the frustration building within him again.

"I just want a conversation with you," he tried, rapping on the door again. "Yah, why are you always like this? One little thing doesn't go your way and you get so annoying."

His forehead slumped against the door as he waited for you to rise to the bait.

As time went on, he realised the only sound was of running water. He hadn't even noticed any signs of movement beyond the door. Listening closer he realised something about the water didn't sound right. Was it flowing onto the floor?

"Jagi?" he called again, more urgency in his voice now. He turned the door handle, so expecting it to be unlocked that he almost walked into it when it didn't budge.

He frantically rattled the handle some more.

"Y/N?" he called again, desperately trying to get in.

He barely felt the pain in his shoulder as he repeatedly threw his full body weight into the door while screaming out your name. With a dull thud he fell through on to the bathroom floor. As he began to fully register his surroundings, he quickly realised the water he was kneeling in did not look how he expected, it was swirled with red.

A desperate hope flashed through his mind as he prayed that you had simply fallen asleep with a bath bomb. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds, but to Hyunjin,  he had been frozen on that floor for hours, willing himself to look up, to reach you, to help.

Once his body began moving again, it went into autopilot, pulling you from the bathtub. His heart shattered as you both landed on the floor, your body limp on top of him. As he fumbled, grabbing for the closest towel he noticed a flutter of your eyelids, prompting him to speak.

"I'm so sorry," he mumbled through his tears. "I love you, you're not annoying. You're mine and I love you and I'm sorry," he began to ramble wrapping towels around your wrists as best he could before reaching for his phone.

It didn't take long for the ambulance to reach you, but the whole time he was waiting he continued to ramble sweet nothings, desperate that, if this was the end, the last things you heard were not going to be his harsh words. He needed you to know, you were loved.

NAVIGATION |  STRAY KIDS MASTERLIST

#tw: suicide #tw: depression #tw: mental health #tw: anxiety #stray kids #stray kids reaction #stray kids imagines #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenario #bang chan #lee know #lee minho #changbin #seo changbin #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin scenarios #stray kids angst #bang chan imagines #bang chan angst #lee know imagines #bang chan scenarios #lee know scenarios #lee know angst #changbin imagines #changbin scenarios #changbin angst #hyunjin angst

[beautifulchris]

take care

wc: 0,8k

pairing: demigod!jisung x gn demigod!reader

summary: a pair of adhd kids ended up in the same school and got brought to camp together

genres: fluff, little angst, demigod!au, camp half-blood!au, classmates to friends!au, mutual pining!au, son of apollo!jisung, child of hephaestus!reader

tw: physical injury, infirmary

notes: idk why but i’m kinda obsessed with apollo x hephaestus children; anyway enjoy ! i'm reposting the works i posted while shadowbanned, please don't mind me

networks: @kflixnet @k-labels @whipped-kpop-creators

permanent tag list: @badwithten​ send ask/dm/comment to be added!

Publié à l'origine par han-jisung

It all started in school. You were the hyperactive kid, couldn’t stay still for more than a couple minutes, and Jisung was the comical one, always cracking jokes, playing music and dancing in the hallways.

He was usually fun to watch until he destroyed your science project a mere week before the due date. Sure it was accidental, and he apologized, but it had been so much work, so much sweat and tears poured into that project for months.

You were fairly pissed off.

He proposed to help you rebuild it, but you had dismissed him with a wave, feeling humiliated enough. Plus, it would’ve felt like cheating.

Let’s just say twelve hours of sleep in seven days is not nearly enough but you ended up with the best grade.

You were so exhausted in your next class, free of all the anxiety surrounding your science project, that you fell asleep.

Jisung, the guy responsible for your drastic lack of sleep that you avoided all week —which turned out to be a not so difficult feat after all— took advantage of your sleeping state. He wrote an apology letter and asked your classmate to slide it under your arm.

At the end of class, after mutturing a few curses about how stupid you were for not being able to stay awake —you need to be more gentle with yourself!— you spotted the letter.

It was surprisingly neat, compared to all the times Jisung wrote on the board. It wasn’t the usual sloppy I-do-not-care writing, it was more of a I-make-efforts-please-forgive-me type. You could tell he was trying, and since your project was a success… You decided to forgive him.

At eleven, it was easier to forgive and forget.

A few weeks later that same year, four classmates tried to attack Jisung and you while you were in a classroom alone —nothing weird, you were just the last ones to leave— until your science teacher stopped them.

It was ugly, your classmates disintegrated and turned out your favorite teacher had goat legs. Definitely a normal day in your chaotic life.

Your goat teacher brought both of you into camp half-blood, where you got claimed by Hephaestus while Jisung got claimed by Apollo.

You only saw each other occasionally, being in the forge with your siblings most of the time, and him tending to the injured campers in the infirmary. Not that you became friends of course.

Although, more and more often over the years, you ended up in the infirmary because of some stuff exploding, fire erupting —no, you weren’t immune—, pieces of metal flying and knocking you out.

Yeah, the infirmary was the third place where you spent the most time in, beside the forge and cabin nine.

Wait. No, actually, Jisung deplorably said you were spending more time in the infirmary bed than your own. You had your appointed bed at this point.

Jisung always took care of you, not without complaining, though. Not about having to stitch you up or change your bandages and stuff, no. About how you had to be more careful.

He’s nag about how some injuries can never fully heal. You’d argue that it wasn’t intentional.

He’d joke and say that you don’t need a reason to come see him. You especially do not need to hurt yourself. Which was essentially right.

You talked a lot when you weren’t passed out, and you had learned lately that he was dreaming of owning a lyre.

After doing some research (read: asking Kevin from the Athena cabin), you had everything you needed to make one. You thought you could repay him this way, even if it felt like not enough.

This time he didn’t see you there for weeks.

After mustering up your courage, you entered the infirmary. Jisung was here as usual, humming while tending to a Nemesis kid’s wound. When he finished and saw you, he rushed to your side.

“Hey, what is it?” he asked as he examined your body for any damage but it was all old scars. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, this time,” you sheepishly smiled.

You took the package that you previously put against an unused bed. Jisung hadn’t even noticed, his attention solely on you. Realizing that, his ears turned a shade of pink.

“It’s for you.”

He stared at the package in your hands. “For me?”

You nodded. “Open it.”

You resisted the urge to bolt away when he took the gift from you. As he opened it, you tugged nervously at your overalls’ suspenders.

“I usually forge weapons but I, uh, made you—”

He beamed. “A lyre! Oh Gods, Y/N, you’re amazing! This is the best gift ever!”

He started playing right away, making everyone stop and stare. The melody was smooth and pretty.

“It’s even tuned! Thank you so much Y/N, how can I ever repay you?”

“Ah no, see, this is me repaying you. But if you want to thank me so badly, you can play for me from time to time.”

thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, here’s the masterlist <3

#kflixnet #k labels #wkcnet #stray kids demigod au #han jisung #kpop demigod au #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids #gender neutral reader #stray kids x reader #han jisung x reader #stray kids jisung #stray kids han #stray kids drabbles #pjo #percy jackson au #hoo

[dragon-swords-prophecies]

Therizinosaurus, Triceratops, Apatosaurus!

- @akindofmagictoo

hi!! thanks for the ask!

Therizinosaurus - share a scene that you’ve put a lot of work into

VOLIMERE, SUNDAY. Late last night the body of Grayson Atkinson (56) was discovered in a room he rented in Fleet Street. According to a statement made by the Volimere Police Department’s chief, Joseph Aubdurn, they are “working hard to uncover who committed this violence, and hope to have a suspect soon.” Responding to further questions, the Chief of Police said, “We are not at liberty to share further details about an ongoing investigation, but would appreciate the full cooperation of his family and friends in our inquiries. We encourage anyone who has any information about the attack on Mr. Atkinson to visit their local police precinct and make a statement.” The murder of Grayson Atkinson is the first major murder in the city in eleven years, since the death of Marisol Ekker in 1870. Nothing is currently known about a possible motive. The police have no suspects. Witnesses to the murder say they heard a struggle in his room, but were unable to open the door. The door was broken down by the police when they arrived. No attacker was found at the scene, though the window was open, and Mr. Atkinson was found dead on the floor. Efforts to revive him failed, and he was pronounced dead on the scene.

This is the newspaper article about the first murder. It took me forever, and I kept rewriting and swapping around the phrasing in it, but I'm happy with what I've got now.

Triceratops - share a scene where one character is protecting or caring for another

“Any preference for the next topic?” “Something that gets you a little farther down the police captains watch list? Maybe take a break?” Alex scoffed. “I do, James. You just don’t see them. Besides, you’re the one talking. When was your last day off when you weren’t sick?” James’ lack of response was enough of an answer for Alex. She changed the subject. Neither of them would win this argument. “I’ll pick something that doesn’t make him immediately want to arrest me, alright?” “Thank you. Be careful, please. Don’t stand in dark alleyways with strange men at ungodly hours of the night.” “What if I know the man?” James laughed. “What you do in dark alleyways with men you know at ungodly hours of the night is not my problem or my business.” “Good!

This is part of one of the first full scenes I wrote, and I love it. Its James' introduction, and I really like how it establishes that him and alex have known each other for a long time and they care about each other, that they're friends not just colleagues. It isn't exactly protecting/caring for somebody, but it is being concerned for each others well being and not wanting them to get arrested, and I think that counts.

Apatosaurus - share some of your favorite dialogue

Alex walked into Asa’s apartment to find him asleep at the tiny table that served as a combination desk/dining table/anything else you might need a surface for. He was face down on a half finished pencil sketch, pencil fallen out of his hand and onto the floor. Gently, she tapped him on the shoulder. “Asa, wake up.” He bolted upright. “Huh? What, who, I’ll— oh, Alex, its you. Hi.” He rubbed his eyes with his hand. It did nothing for the smears of graphite across his face. Helpfully, Alex supplied, “there’s graphite on your face.” He raised his eyebrows and resignedly asked, “why?” “Its making you look more sleep deprived than you are.” “That is a very bold assumption, Anastrannia.” “Well, it is also making half of your face look as if you are wearing a hat that casts a large shadow, so I am hoping that the eye bags are from the graphite.” Asa looked at her. “You have far to much faith in me.” “Mayhaps! Do you want to come down to the docks and ask pointed questions with me?”

I love this bit so much. I based the tone and the phrasing off of conversations I have with my best friend, and I fucking love the dialogue in it.

#akindofmagictoo #asks #wip: herald at dawn

[pufflix]

take care

wc: 0,8k

pairing: demigod!jisung x gn demigod!reader

summary: a pair of adhd kids ended up in the same school and got brought to camp together

genres: fluff, little angst, demigod!au, camp half-blood!au, classmates to friends!au, mutual pining!au, son of apollo!jisung, child of hephaestus!reader

tw: physical injury, infirmary

notes: idk why but i'm kinda obsessed with apollo x hephaestus children; anyway enjoy !

networks: @kflixnet @k-radio @k-labels

permanent tag list: @soobin-chois @badwithten send ask/dm/comment to be added!

It all started in school. You were the hyperactive kid, couldn’t stay still for more than a couple minutes, and Jisung was the comical one, always cracking jokes, playing music and dancing in the hallways.

He was usually fun to watch until he destroyed your science project a mere week before the due date. Sure it was accidental, and he apologized, but it had been so much work, so much sweat and tears poured into that project for months.

You were fairly pissed off.

He proposed to help you rebuild it, but you had dismissed him with a wave, feeling humiliated enough. Plus, it would've felt like cheating.

Let’s just say twelve hours of sleep in seven days is not nearly enough but you ended up with the best grade.

You were so exhausted in your next class, free of all the anxiety surrounding your science project, that you fell asleep.

Jisung, the guy responsible for your drastic lack of sleep that you avoided all week —which turned out to be a not so difficult feat after all— took advantage of your sleeping state. He wrote an apology letter and asked your classmate to slide it under your arm.

At the end of class, after mutturing a few curses about how stupid you were for not being able to stay awake —you need to be more gentle with yourself!— you spotted the letter.

It was surprisingly neat, compared to all the times Jisung wrote on the board. It wasn’t the usual sloppy I-do-not-care writing, it was more of a I-make-efforts-please-forgive-me type. You could tell he was trying, and since your project was a success… You decided to forgive him.

At eleven, it was easier to forgive and forget.

A few weeks later that same year, four classmates tried to attack Jisung and you while you were in a classroom alone —nothing weird, you were just the last ones to leave— until your science teacher stopped them.

It was ugly, your classmates disintegrated and turned out your favorite teacher had goat legs. Definitely a normal day in your chaotic life.

Your goat teacher brought both of you into camp half-blood, where you got claimed by Hephaestus while Jisung got claimed by Apollo.

You only saw each other occasionally, being in the forge with your siblings most of the time, and him tending to the injured campers in the infirmary. Not that you became friends of course.

Although, more and more often over the years, you ended up in the infirmary because of some stuff exploding, fire erupting —no, you weren’t immune—, pieces of metal flying and knocking you out.

Yeah, the infirmary was the third place where you spent the most time in, beside the forge and cabin nine.

Wait. No, actually, Jisung deplorably said you were spending more time in the infirmary bed than your own. You had your appointed bed at this point.

Jisung always took care of you, not without complaining, though. Not about having to stitch you up or change your bandages and stuff, no. About how you had to be more careful.

He’s nag about how some injuries can never fully heal. You’d argue that it wasn’t intentional.

He’d joke and say that you don’t need a reason to come see him. You especially do not need to hurt yourself. Which was essentially right.

You talked a lot when you weren’t passed out, and you had learned lately that he was dreaming of owning a lyre.

After doing some research (read: asking Kevin from the Athena cabin), you had everything you needed to make one. You thought you could repay him this way, even if it felt like not enough.

This time he didn't see you there for weeks.

After mustering up your courage, you entered the infirmary. Jisung was here as usual, humming while tending to a Nemesis kid’s wound. When he finished and saw you, he rushed to your side.

“Hey, what is it?” he asked as he examined your body for any damage but it was all old scars. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, this time,” you sheepishly smiled.

You took the package that you previously put against an unused bed. Jisung hadn’t even noticed, his attention solely on you. Realizing that, his ears turned a shade of pink.

"It's for you.”

He stared at the package in your hands. “For me?”

You nodded. “Open it.”

You resisted the urge to bolt away when he took the gift from you. As he opened it, you tugged nervously at your overalls’ suspenders.

“I usually forge weapons but I, uh, made you—”

He beamed. “A lyre! Oh Gods, Y/N, you’re amazing! This is the best gift ever!”

He started playing right away, making everyone stop and stare. The melody was smooth and pretty.

“It’s even tuned! Thank you so much Y/N, how can I ever repay you?”

“Ah no, see, this is me repaying you. But if you want to thank me so badly, you can play for me from time to time.”

“Definitely,” he grinned before engulfing you into a hug.

thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, here's the masterlist <3

#kflixnet #k radio! #k labels #stray kids demigod au #han jisung #kpop demigod au #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids #gender neutral reader #stray kids x reader #han jisung x reader #stray kids jisung #stray kids han #stray kids drabbles #pjo #percy jackson au #hoo

[matthew-gray-gubler-lover]

i can dream about you if i can't hold you tonight

it was 11:21am and reid got amber to go back to sleep, he was struggling to stay wake still so tired from not getting much sleep, he promised to stay awake so he 

would know if anyone tried to get in, he still doesn't know if what he heard before was even real, he puts his head back on the back of the sofa and sighs then rubs his eyes, as he is looking at the sealing trying his best to stay awake, he hears something coming from ambers room, it sounded like whimpering, so reid run to her bedroom and quietly opened the door, and he was right amber was in a ball crying in her sleep, reid didn't know what to do, does he go in to her room and wake her up, does he call her name?, the last thing he wants to do is scare her more, she is clearly having a nightmare, if he wakes her up he might give her a heart attack, but if he doesn't she will continue to have the nightmare.

"come on reid you are smart, you are a man of science you can come up with something, you can't just walk in there, she already feels like someone is in her room, come on reid" he sighed.

really all he wants to do is rush in and save her, take her away from the monsters in her dream, scoop her up in his arms, and take the pain away, all of the pain josh caused her, he wants to show her she can be loved, that not all man are like josh, they don't all hurt women, they can love, they can be gentle, they can kiss the pain away, they should kiss the pain away never cause pain.

so many things are running through his head, then he comes up with something, he lightly knocked on the door, and said her name, then knocked a bit harder and said her name a bit louder till she woke up with a gasp.

her head shot up and she looked around the room.

"it's ok amber it's spencer, clam down, you were having a nightmare, you are ok, it wasn't real" he told her trying to calm her down.

she started crying the cry turned in to a sob, till reid entered the room and talked softly to her.

she reached for him crying and hands shaking her whole-body trembling, she looked up at him her eyes filled with tears and tears running down her face, her beautiful face, looking much like maeve the first time he saw her, flash backs took him over, and he rushed toured amber,

"it's ok i have you, it's ok i'm here, please don't cry, i'm here it's ok" he wrapped her in the blanket that she threw off in the panic she felt when reid woke her up.

she sits in her bed sobbing as reid held her, sitting on the side on the bed became a little painful for him he was twisted so he could hug amber, she noticed this and asked.

"would you like to lay down? i don't mind, this must be uncomfortable sitting on the side of the bed like that" she sniffled.

"what?" he asked not really sure he heard her right.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to upset you,i just thought you would be uncomfortable, i didn't mean anything, i'm sorry" she cried harder.

"amber...you didn't upset me, i wanted to make sure i heard you right, yes please may i lay down?" he asked softly.

"yes please, i know you are tired, if you sleep here then i will be safe"

"ok, i will stay, but i will try to stay awake that way if you have another nightmare i can wake you up" he said as he lied down next to her, she was under the covers and he was on top of them.

"thank you spencer" she said the crying now just that a cry, no more sobbing.

as they lay in bed, amber falls asleep, reid looks at her, her eyes are still puffy from crying, but she is still pretty to him, he closes his eyes and hopes not to dream about her, that would be worse that dreaming in his mom's room.

he falls asleep after 10 minuets he is awoken by his phone ringing in the next room, he sighs and gently gets off of the bed.

he walks to the living room and gets his phone from his bag.

"hello?" he answers sleepily.

"hey 182, i need you to resend the story amber wrote, my crummy computer lost half of it during a up-date" garcia told him with a sigh and an eye roll that reid couldn't see.

"um...ok, i have to pull it up on the laptop, where did you leave off?" he asked powering up the laptop.

"i only have one name, so right as she was naming the scumbag, punk people that know what he was doing!!," "gasp" i just scared myself"

reid chuckles.

"ok i just have to get it and i will send it to you"

spencer pulls up the story and starts reading it to find the part he needs to send, as he is reading, he sees something is wrong.

"wait this isn't the same story"

"did she erase it?!!" garcia asks.

"i don't know, let me call you back"

"ah ok" garcia says not knowing what is happening.

"reid, is everything ok?" she asks.

"yes i'm...i'm gonna call you back, good bye garcia"

"ok good bye" she hangs up the phone "what is going on?" she asks spinning her purple fuzzy pen and leaning back in her sit.

reid picks up the laptop and starts reading the story.

"he is the sexiest man i had ever seen i know he would never think of me the way i thinks of him, he is so smart, so kind and he has a voice that melts me like ice cream on a hot summer day, i have never felt safe before but with him i do, i can't stop thinking about him, he has gone to help his mom, another wonderful thing about him, he cares so much about her, i know he will not think of me, but all i can do is think of him, i don't know what is happening to me, man scare me, but he doesn't and he loves to read he is so good at it, and his name matches reid, it's getting so bad that i am dreaming of him, and all of the things i wish we could do, sex has never been good for me, but i know he would make it magical, i can't even sleep tonight because he is away, so i am writing this, i know he will never see it and he will never know how i feel, so i will keep this secret"

"she dreams of me? oh my god, she dreams of me" he puts the laptop down and sighs rubbing his face.

"i have to find josh, i have to find the story"

he looks for another file and it's the story he was looking for, he copy's it and sends it to garcia.

"ok garcia i sent it"

"ok, are you ok reid?" she asks.

"yeah...oh yeah I'm just tired, i'm going to get some sleep" he tells her.

"ok, well sweet dreams, and don't you worry your pretty brain i will read this story and find the people in it, just let them try to hide from me, PG out"

reid hangs up the phone and puts it on the coffee table.

he put the laptop on the table and walks back to the bedroom, amber is still sleeping, he wonders is she is dreaming of him, he needs to find josh, but he is afraid of what he will do when he sees him, he did hurt those men in prison, sure it was because he had to but still, he wants to hurt josh, he wants him to burn for what he has done, and that worries reid, he doesn't what to go back to prison but he wants josh to, he walks back to the bed and looks at amber, she is sleeping so soundly.

he wants to get back in bed with her, but he knows it's the worst thing he could do right now, he knows she wants him just as badly as he wants her, so he looks around the room, thinking about just sleeping on the floor, he remembers seeing a pink chair in the bedroom he gets the chair carrying it over to the bed, he sit's in the very soft chair, and sighs and looks at amber.

"i wonder if you are dreaming of me" he whispers.

reid is asleep a few minutes later.

[simplyxsinned]

Just imagine-

Kaeya in a button up shirt with some left unbuttoned revealing his chest early in the morning. He woke up before you, finding you asleep by his side. He plays with your hair while watching your chest heave up and down, listening to your slow breathing. He kisses your head before going in the kitchen to cook breakfast aaaaaa this sucks but oh well

#I wrote this half asleep don’t attack me please #bubblegum wrappers [🎀] #genshin impact kaeya #genshin x reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin #genshin fluff #kaeya #kaeya x reader #kaeya fluff #kaeya x y/n #kaeya x you #kaeya x gender neutral reader

[frostironfudge]

Sparkle - Bucky Barnes (one shot)

Summary: this is my entry for @pellucid-constellations 's #loveletterswritingchallenge i sincerely enjoyed writing this, it was so much of fun to come up with a story that left me all fuzzy and happy.

Pairing: bestfriend!bucky x plus size female!reader (set in an AU)

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Sharon Carter, Brock Rumlow, Natasha Romanoff, Winnie Barnes, Rebecca Barnes

Warnings: fluff, angst, recount of bullying comments experienced by the reader, mentions of fatphobic comments, fluff, mentions of anxiety attacks, swearing, mutual pining, no smut, sam and natasha have the braincell in the two friendships. please note if any of this triggers you please do not read. you are responsible for the media you consume.

A.N: this is my first time writing a plus sized reader, being plus sized i've always wanted to explore writing for a reader who looks like me, i hope i've done well, if not i will strive to improve my writing so please be kind, thank you. that being said, i am immensely proud of what i have written.

Word Count: 8432

dividers are by the lovely @firefly-graphics

masterlist // Ao3

seven.

‘dear y/n,

your sparkle pens are really pretty

i will share my new crayons if you share your sparkle pens.

-bucky’

‘dear bucky,

i want the blue crayon, you pick a sparkle colour, i will share it with you

-y/n’

‘dear sparkle,

i want the purple sparkle, because its your favourite, i wanna be your favourite too.

-bucky’

‘dear bucky,

you are my favourite.

and you can have the purple sparkle.

-sparkle’

‘dear sparkle,

i think we are going to be best friends.

-bucky’

‘dear bucky,

i think so too.

-sparkle’

Fifteen.

“what do you mean you are moving away?” You ask, confusion laces through your features.

“It means I have to go to a new city, my dad got a new job, they gave him a fancy house. Sparkle I don’t want to move.” Bucky is looking sullen, his blue eyes hold a sadness that is slowly seeping into his heart with every minute that passes.

It is slowly sinking in what is going to happen, he has go leave everything here, his childhood home, the mini play house at the backyard, this swing set you both have been sitting on since time began, and you.

“Will you come back, Bucky?” You wonder, not being able to fathom or imagine not having Bucky next to you, everything you both did you did together.

From filling the backpack of Brock Rumlow with whipped cream because he was bullying the younger kids on the block to stealing freshly baked cookies from the counter and confusing your mother on her number of cookies count.

Hiding in the small room you both discovered behind his wardrobe, eating snacks and possibly talking to a ghost lurking in the shadows.

Bucky and you were both skeptical about the ghost, so what if the chocolate was moved right when you said the ghost should move it?

Bucky’s eyes refocus onto your hunched over form, as you wrote something on a piece of paper. He’d miss this exchanging of notes between the two of you.

Folding the paper you hand it over, heart cracking as realisation dawns upon you when you watch Winnie Barnes and your mother put the last of the kitchen appliances into their boxes.

Winnie gestures for Bucky to come back inside. Bucky’s fingers tighten around your little note.

He takes one glance at you, trying to remember you so he doesn’t forget he’s so scared to forget.

He won’t but it scares him, so much.

You watch as he returns back inside, leaving you on the swing set. You look down at the indented grass.

Would the earth ever cover up the memories that your tiny pairs of feet created upon her?

Or would these indents serve as your only reminder?

Later that night when everyone else is asleep in the half empty home.

Bucky pulls out the note from his pocket, smoothening the paper against his duvet the white paper glows yellow in the lamp light.

‘dear bucky,

please don’t forget about me,

you’re going to make new friends, you’re going to have an amazing time there, you will have fun and the house will be nice, i could come visit maybe, or you could, we can write letters?

you’re my best friend, i love you.

i miss you already.

-sparkle’

His bright blue eyes settle on the small picture frame on his bedside that houses his favourite picture of the two of you, simultaneously having broken the same tooth and holding up the evidence with gleeful toothless smiles in anticipation for the tooth fairy.

Bucky wiped his cheek when he felt something warm, the salty tears finding him, why does that stupid fancy house have to be far away from all that he wants?

<><><><><>

“Why does he have to go mum? Bucky can stay with us, he can take my room!” You offer for the umpteenth time since your return.

“Baby, we spoke about this, his dad has a job offer and it will be good for them, Bucky will be happy and—,”

“NO! He isn’t happy none of you want to listen.” You scream at her.

Your mom’s gaze softens, she sits down on the couch, tucking your hair back,

“Are you sad that James has to leave?” She wonders, you nod, lip wobbling.

“I know it can be a lot to handle right now, you and James are both very brave and such good kids that you are listening to us, but baby this is something that will help their family. Do you understand? It will be good for them. It will be a lot to go through, but sweetheart they need this change.” You mom holds both your hands between her palms.

“But he will forget me, I, Mum he’s my best friend, my only friend.” You can’t stop the tears now, the fear of losing Bucky and him possibly forgetting who you are coursing rampant through you.

“Oh sweetheart, best-friends never forget each other, no matter the distance no matter if they speak regularly or not.” She gently wipes your tears away, kissing your cheek.

You retreat to your room, laying head down on the bed and letting more tears pour out.

Nineteen.

You stare at the calendar, hanging by your desk, if you could you would burn a hole through today’s date.

Barnes’ moving in day.

Those four words stare at you, mockingly. Four and a half years ago he moved away, ripping your duo apart.

Countless letters, left without reply, not a reply even to the funny birthday card you sent, so you stopped writing after nine months of radio silence.

Maybe he did forget you.

<><><><><><>

Month 1

‘Dear Bucky,

I hope you’ve moved in fully now, i miss you. Watching pixar movies without you does not feel right.

How is the weather there? Mom told me it is much more warmer and does not rain as often.

Have you gone to school yet? I hope you have fun there, write back soon.

-Sparkle.’

Month 4

‘Dear Bucky,

happy sixteenth birthday!

i know we had planned those star shaped candles like that one movie so i found them! I’ll ask mum to tell your mum to take a picture, i found two sets of candles so i’m keeping one for myself and i exchanged the blue and purple.

i miss you.

i hope school is easier, still sucks here, remember i told you Rumlow tried to steal lunch money last month? He tried it again, i threw my chocolate milk on his head.

You would have laughed so much.

Though I regret it because I didn’t have an extra chocolate milk. You would have kept an extra one for me. I miss laughing with you.

i love you bucky.

Hope you write back soon.

-sparkle.’

Month 5

‘Dear Bucky,

I sent in that story I wrote! I’ll tell you if I won or not, Rumlow is being a dickhead. Don’t tell Winnie I taught you the word dickhead or I’ll tell her the f word is what you taught me.

-Sparkle’

‘Dear Bucky,

I won second place!, I’m sending a snippet from the paper! Do you remember? This is about the chocolate moving ghost in your room.

Are there any ghosts in your new room?

Write soon, I miss you and your handwriting.

-Sparkle.’

<><><><><>

Winnie and your mom spoke every two weeks on the phone, you would catch tail ends of the conversations.

As did Bucky, he would stand behind the kitchen entryway, to eavesdrop;

“I know, I’ve tried talking to him about it, I know Y/N’s upset, I’m so sorry. I’ll try speaking to him again. Oh, I won’t. I’ll see if he will, oh and yes did you catch the episode,”

Bucky tuned out his mother’s words retreating to his room he had gone out to grab the mail, little did he know he was holding your last letter from the mailbox.

He sighed as his fingers traced over the envelope, the paper too familiar under his fingertips.

He glanced at the purple candle in his pen holder cup.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to reply, he just couldn’t bring himself to do so, he met people at his school. Friends now who were in a similar situation as him.

They all said friends forget or they don’t write back, its easier rather than being hurt over losing a friend. A best friend.

Bucky looked at the stack of letters he attempted to write back to you.

‘Dear Sparkle,

I don’t like it here, they closest theatre is an hour away and Pixar without you just sucks.

It has been a week, i got your letter, people at school say long distance friendships don’t last and people forget each other.

We aren’t like that. We are best friends, we won’t forget each other. I am scared that it might happen, but it won’t right?

- Bucky’

Bucky sighs, turning the letter around in his hands, as his gaze falls onto the birthday envelope he made for you.

‘Dear Sparkle,

I’m sending a blue candle, you won’t believe it they just had one purple and blue candle remaining! You know just like the movie? when you make a wish can you wish for me to come back?

i’m going to ask if i can visit.

i miss you so much, sparkle.

-Bucky’

Bucky puts on a brave face, your letter feeling heavy in his hands, he opens the envelope and unfolds your twelfth letter to him, it has been nine months, he hasn’t sent out the letters nor did he come on the phone when his mom would urge him.

Month 9

‘Dear Bucky, Barnes,’

Bucky’s stomach took a tumble, you only called him Barnes when you were mad at him.

‘It has been hard, I don’t know how much mum told your mum. Dad well, just things fuck.

Things haven’t been that great since you left, mum says that things have gotten better for your family, i’m glad to hear that but i still miss you, you haven’t returned any of my letters and it probably is annoying you or maybe you forgot about me, i hope your new friends are great and school goes well for you. I’m not trying to imply that you should feel bad or guilty or that you should feel guilty, its just, it was nice to have a friend? Now I don’t.

It has gotten hard here for several reasons, i don’t want to bore you, if you are even reading the letters.

on my birthday i used the blue candle on a cupcake, i wished you would come back. I don’t think that will come true. Remember the cupcakes we baked with your mum? I used that recipe.

I don’t think I will be writing anymore, I don’t want to bother you or remind you of things that you may have forgotten. or wanted to forget.

still love you bucky, you’re my best friend.

- Sparkle Y/N.’

Bucky couldn’t read the paper anymore, the colours blended together before he blinked his tears away. Your handwriting just a muddled blur of ink. You’re saying goodbye to him, you’re hurting and he just added to it.

“Bucky?” Winnie Barnes enters her child’s room, brows furrowed in worry as his shoulders shake.

“She won’t write anymore.” Is all he says, turning around to hug his mother.

“Oh sweetheart, she is hurt, you haven’t written back, I know you have unsent letters,” She pulls away from him, running a hand through his hair and wiping his tears.

“Why don’t you send one? She is having a hard time at home. It will cheer her up.” Winnie offers, Bucky shakes his head.

“James…”

“Mum they don’t last these friendships all my friends here are just,” Bucky lets out an exasperated sigh.

“James Barnes.” His mom uses her warning tone.

“Y/N has been your best friend since you both were in diapers. You write her a letter and send it over, I know it is hard, I know it hurts you too, but I can’t watch you let this friendship fade away. Understood? It will be her choice if she wants to write back and you have to respect that.”

Bucky nods going to his desk and bringing out a pen and paper. Winnie pats his head, smiling at him as he begins writing what he wants to say to you.

Nineteen.

Bucky looks sullen, they’re moving back, couldn’t get the old house house three down from yours but they got the one right next to your home.

He wanted to be mad at you for not responding to his letter but he never held it against you, maybe he was too late.

“Bucky?” Winnie looks at him through the rearview mirror, she had taken over driving the remaining leg of the journey. They were going to stay at your house and that had him on edge.

“Yeah Ma?” He meets her gaze, knowing she probably caught onto his nerves. He had taken the semester off from university his dad’s untimely demise had left an aching hole between his family. They were healing but Bucky felt lost.

“It will be okay, between you both.” She assures him, then gazes at Rebecca who is fast asleep in the passenger seat.

“I hope so.” He says, fiddling with his jacket.

<><><><><>

You made cupcakes, the very ones you had learned to make from Winnie, you had spoken to her after you decided to stop the letters, she wasn’t angry as you had expected. She knew Bucky had messed up and had told you about his letter. You never read it. Just looking at it made your burst into tears.

So you tucked it away in the box labelled Sparkle and Bucky, where you stored away the trinkets collected till age fifteen and his unopened letter.

You pulled your thoughts away and onto the upcoming months you were visiting a publication expo due to the deferral year you took from university. Independently writing for a magazine, running your own blog of micro poetry and pieces was doing okayish.

However an internship with an independent publication house made you realise working in this industry is where you would thrive.

The car coming to a halt outside had your mother squeal and run out, then two squeals could be heard followed by laughter. You went up to the door, eyes on Winnie and your mother, a clicking sound made you look at the source.

Bucky brought the camera down from covering his face, as he grinned admiring the two best friends, his hair longer and he seemed much more taller and you notice how much more bigger his biceps have gotten.

“Oh, Y/N!” Winnie calls you with glee, “Look at you! All grown up the pictures you mother sent do no justice to how beautiful you are,” She bounds up at steps arms outstretched you smile with a blush warming your cheeks.

“You’re too kind.” You mumble, you know your features are sweet but the weight you’ve gained along the way would at times make you think otherwise.

“Oh nonsense.” She dismisses your attempt to take the compliment, “Beautiful.” She tucks your hair back, placing a kiss to your cheek.

Rebecca follows her mom giving you a kiss on the cheek and a warm sleepy hug.

“Okay you can go crash in my room.” You laugh as she yawns out a thank you, swiftly making her way upstairs.

Bucky is unloading the bags, you put your hands in the back pocket of your jeans contemplating.

The mothers share a look, “Y/N why don’t you go help James?” Your mom says, you shoot her a look, Winnie pulls her inside before you can catch onto their little planning.

Bucky hits his head on the trunk door when he sees you stand next to him.

“Shit,” He rubs his head, looking at you, pausing as he takes in your appearance. You feel small under his towering form, you both don’t say anything for a while just standing there, awkwardly.

What do you even say to your long lost best friend?

“I’m sorry.” Bucky verbal vomits the apology without thinking, you raise an eyebrow, “For um, for putting your mum and you through all this trouble.” He gestures around with his hand.

“Oh, um not really a problem.” You shrug and move to grab a bag from the trunk.

“Um, that is my camera equipment…” Bucky looks the bag with such admiration, you’re almost scared to put it back down.

“I can be careful… If you want to switch no problem…” You offer the bag and he switches. The trip back to the house is silent.

Some how both of you still manage to walk in sync.

Winnie tells you the major chunk of things are coming with the movers tomorrow as you and Bucky settle around the dining table with mugs of coffee.

“Bucky, mum tells me you’re into photography now?” Your mom smiles fondly at the boy in front of her, she did pinch his cheeks moments ago and Bucky knew she would do it again. He grinned.

“I am, yes, I run my own blog, did a few indie band shoots for their Instagram pages, also covered a friend’s wedding.”

Bucky talks animately and you find yourself smiling as he speaks fondly about his passion, blue eyes filled with pride and joy.

“Oh and this is the best thing that happened in a while.” Bucky pulls out his phone, “I have a friend, they have huge writing blog posted one of my photographs and held a competition and god the entries are all so great especially this one.” Bucky loads the comment.

“Wait a second, Y/N what is your blog’s name?” Your mom looks at you, your eyes widen in panic as realisation hits, Bucky reads the blog’s name and you nod.

“Holy shit, Sparkle! You’ve written such great stuff, I practically broke my phone reading and scrolling! I even showed Rebecca and Ma, god you’re talented and you even won that competition, Sparkle, damn—,” Bucky’s excited chatter stops when he realises he used your nickname and revealed the fact he read your letters.

“Excuse me.” Is all you say before running up to your room, voice on the verge of tears, Bucky stays in his seat, head in his palms.

“Just give her sometime.” Your mum assures him giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Don’t think she will give me more…” He takes a deep breath, “Should I?” He asks the two insightful women, they shake their heads.

“After dinner, I’ll send you both to pick up groceries then you can speak.” Winnie high fives her best friend.

Bucky looks between the pair questioningly and decides he wont wait, he grabs a notepad from his bag as he makes his way to the guest room.

‘dear sparkle y/n,

i’m sorry, i’m an idiot.

though i stand by it, your pieces are beautiful.

-bucky.’

He slips the note under your door and retreats to his designated room opposite to yours before you decide to slide it out.

Dinner passes by wordlessly on your part, only answering yes and no when spoken to directly. Bucky hopes to coax laughter out of you, so he tries making jokes but when you don’t respond to them he keeps quiet.

“Sweetheart, would you run to the store? We want to start the move earlier so a few groceries should be better bought earlier.” Your mom requests as you finish drying the dishes with Rebecca.

“Okay.” You take a once over of your appearance, deciding to keep wearing the superhero shirt and shorts.

“Do you have a list?” You ask Winnie who nods, Bucky is helping put away the dishes, so you think at least he may not tag along.

Winnie hands it to you, sheepishly smiling at the length of the list, “I know it is a lot but,”

“No, No, don’t worry about it. I-if I can’t find something I’ll let you know.” You look up at her, biting your bottom lip, Bucky looks at you as you shift from one foot to the other. You never did enjoy the task he recalls.

You smile at her, the prospect of the night drive is appealing.

“Oh Bucky has my card so he can tag along with you.” Winnie adds just as you grab your cardigan and purse, so much for enjoying the drive.

Bucky wonders if your shoulders stiffen because you’re uncomfortable. He almost backs out; trusting you with the pin of the card.

“Oh sure.” you say heading out the door to your car.

Bucky looks at the three women, they give him a thumbs up each. He wonders how much luck would he need to repair his friendship with you.

You’re waiting in the car, head on the wheel, “Just groceries, you don’t have to talk.” you mutter trying to soothe yourself.

Bucky opens the door and you straighten up too quickly, hitting your head on the lowered visor which snaps it back up with a thunk, “Ow.”

“You okay?” Bucky looks worried as you rub your head, the light in the car showing him your tinted cheeks, he chuckles.

“Are you laughing at me?” You ask, he pales.

“No-no I just, I hit my head in the afternoon and now you did… It reminded me of,” Bucky’s smile returns,

“The museum?” You laugh at the memory, both of you took a tumble down the steps to the museum getting scrapes on your knees, the injuries placed same but received at different hours.

Your smile doesn’t fade as you pull onto the road driving to the 24 hour store fifteen minutes away a comfortable silence takes over which is only broken by the light songs on the radio.

Bucky finds himself taking in your appearance, you have changed so little yet so much he thinks, the way you hold yourself with more confidence, when you aren’t worrying about how things are between the two of you.

Your laughter still the same that shines through him, the sound making him laugh even more than what the joke would be, god he missed you.

You could feel his eyes on you, you tug the shorts down, skin bunching as the hem tightens when you sit. A little self consciousness flooding through you.

Bucky notices the movement, his eyes trail over your thighs and he wonders briefly how they would feel wrapped around him if he lifted you up in a hug like before.

You are in the milk aisle when you hear the familiar snickers, Bucky was on the other end finding the flavoured yogurts Rebecca requested on text.

“I never knew cows came to inspect the milk.” Sharon Carter laughs, you roll your eyes a fake pleasantry smile on your face.

“Sharon, always a pleasure.” You turn back to grabbing the milk you need putting it into the cart.

Bucky’s eyebrows furrow when a taller man joins the blonde you were speaking to, he feels something off. He quickly grabs the selected boxes of yogurt and walks over.

You try moving forward when Brock Rumlow stops your cart. Great.

“Oh come on a deferral, just say the university has no space to accommodate your size.” Rumlow gives a hearty chuckle as Bucky’s jaw clenches.

“I thought I recognised the scared little bully.” Bucky says placing the items in the cart then standing next to you, “Was is shaving cream in your bag or was it whipped cream?” He reminds Brock who clenches his hand into a fist.

“Barnes?” Rumlow asks, Bucky nods.

“Oh this is rich,” Rumlow looks at you, you pale.

“Was it not his letter you roamed around with?” He asks, then Sharon smirks.

“Oh I remember! Oh Bucky they called me a fat pig, Oh Bucky I miss you.” She makes mocking smooching noises and you wince recalling their harsh words.

Bucky’s hand clenches on the cart’s handle.

“How did your universities accept bullies? Or did you get rejected since your bigheadedness take up more space than they could accommodate?” Bucky asks, pushing the cart harshly into Rumlow who moves giving way to move to the next aisle.

As you pass by them, “Fatty got left all alone and weak, if you hear her it sounds like a pig’s squeak.” Sharon belts out the old rhyme they came up with in school, you pause, Bucky is about to go punch Brock and you stop him, turning around with a bottle of chocolate milk in hand.

The two bullies don’t see it coming when you empty the entire one litre bottle on their heads as they are turned away. Both turn very slowly. Bucky pulls you back, both abandoning the cart and running through the aisles with Brock hot on your heels.

Bucky looks at you unable to help his laughter at what you did, you laugh with him and you both feel like you are twelve running away from Brock once again. Bucky leads you behind the frozen food aisle, pressing you against the wall and him facing you. The dry ice smell cascades around your senses.

Both of you breathing hard, Bucky feels the steady rise of your chest against his own, he looks down at you, you look up at him and his breath catches god your eyes hold that same sparkle that gave you your nickname when you both were seven.

His heartaches at how long it has been since he saw you happy with him there as witness.

When you look up at Bucky you didn’t understand the expression on his face it, it seemed as though longing muddled with happiness?

Your eyes flicker to his lips, parted to catch his breath. You dismiss the thought but not before it makes you blush. You look away to his hand still intertwined with yours, making you smile.

Bucky’s free hand twitches, wanting you to look back into his blue eyes.

“Where are you two?” Brock’s voice is close, Bucky and you slip back backing away quietly.

“Brock let it go, my dress is stained. Ugh.” Sharon complains much to your relief.

You both peek out from the aisle, sighing as the coast is clear.

You look at Bucky during the walk back to the abandoned cart his gaze is upon you, when your eyes meet, his lip twitches and you both break into a fit of giggles. Bucky wipes the tears from his eyes and you try to even out your breathing as the laughter calms down.

You take inventory of the cart frowning that you used the last bottle of chocolate milk for your plan, till an outstretched arm holds a smaller chocolate milk bottle in your vision.

Bucky has a small smile gracing his lips, azure eyes full of hope, “Saved you a bottle.”

Adoration courses through you and so does the love you hold for Bucky which had been tucked away.

You raise your arms and engulf him in a hug, Bucky is taken aback but quickly wraps his arms around you. Sighing as the ache on his heart is slowly fading into nothingness.

“I’m sorry I never wrote back, sparkle.” Bucky whispers, stroking your hair, the scent of vanilla grounding him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t read your letter. I was so mad at you.” You whisper back, tightening the hug.

“Rightfully so.” Bucky pulls away to look at you, you’re crying too, “God, I wish I could have been there, written back, you went through all this shit. I’m so sorry, sparkle.”

“It, its not okay but I think we can try again? Our friendship?” You look at him hopeful, he smiles, nodding and pulling you into a bear hug.

Bucky sniffles, “I did, I did write replies, when we unpack tomorrow, I’ll show you the letters.”

When you check into the hotel three months later, you furrow your eyebrows when the receptionist hands a letter addressed to you.

Smiling as you recognise Bucky’s handwriting you open it in the elevator too excited,

‘Dear Sparkle,

good luck on your first publishing exhibition/expo/experience you’re going to learn so much and beat all the people outta their seats, i kind of buttered up your mom to give me the address of your hotel.

i wanted us to start writing letters again, it has been something we did and shared and only if you’re comfortable then you can write back if it is difficult then we can stick to texts and sending memes.

i miss you, college is going okay, been about two weeks since i left home, god i still can’t believe the chocolate piece moved. do you think the ghost it latched to one of us?

love you sparkle, send me pictures from the trip.

-bucky’

You grin holding the letter to your chest as you walk into the room you share with the other intern at your work place.

Immediately you start writing a reply on the hotel stationary.

<><><><><><><>

Bucky sighs entering his apartment, who told him to major in journalism and history? Though being a photo journalist is something he wants to do dearly just the path of education is seemingly harder today.

He received your texts, smiling as he read how excited you were for everything going on at the publication expo, endless goofy pictures you sent him made his heart swell with adoration. It had been 4 days since he knows you received his letter.

He’s laughing while replying to the picture you sent him of an apple just lying underneath a traffic light, no idea why you both find it funny.

“Whose got Broody Barnes all happy?” Sam Wilson his room-mate says walking into the hall, dropping a stack of envelopes onto the table.

“Sparkle.” Bucky says, looking at a surprised Sam.

“The Sparkle?” Sam enquires, leaning over the couch and trying to peek at the texts.

“Yes.” Bucky locks the phone and Sam pouts, “Oh come on.”

“By the way there is some mail for you.” Sam informs, Bucky eagerly grabs the stack, sifting through and landing on the envelope bearing his name in your writing.

He quickly opens it, excitement flooding through his being.

‘Dear Bucky,

i can’t believe how you pulled off having the letter here before me, i read it in the elevator. I miss you too. i think the ghost moves around our neighbourhood.

i’m glad to hear college is going well, though i think doing a double major may be hard, i believe in you and your capability to get through it.

i think i might go ahead with the double major as well, I took a year’s deferral so, I don’t really know how will it go.

i’m proud of you.

love you too buck i’m sending you a picture as i write.

-sparkle.

ps. waiting for your next letter.’

Bucky can’t wipe the grin off of his face.

twenty three.

‘dear sparkle,

my recruitment week starts next week, i’m so nervous.

i really wish you were here. i know i can call you but it just won’t be the same.

all these questions are swirling in my mind, what if i do not get the placement i want? what if the internships i did were the wrong choice? what if my grades aren’t impressive?

you would know what to say, could you just give my interviews for me?

fuck, sparkle i don’t even know what pictures to put in my portfolio.

what kind of photographer does not know his strongest pictures?

i hope your exam week is going well, also you’re going to win that creative writing competiton that you’re worried about, send your piece to me so i can read it over, if you need an objective opinion? but i’m biased towards you. you will win it.

sorry to dump this on you, i know you’ve had a busy and hard week.

will you be visiting home for break? i might be depending on how the recruitment goes. maybe we could co-ordinate flights?

i miss you.

-bucky.’

You read Bucky’s letter on the night of exam week being over, most of the classes are done for the semester, an idea pops up in your head and you call your mom then Rebecca to get Bucky’s roommate’s number.

When Sam receives you at the train station and you can finally understand why Bucky trusts him immensely, Sam has this comforting aura that radiates warmth and safety, for a minute you wonder if Rutgers makes everyone go hard at the gym and wear more form sitting outfits because like damn, Sam.

“So whats with the nickname Sparkle?” Sam ponders never getting an answer out of his friend.

“No idea, Bucky gave it to me.” You shrug, realising you never really asked the question yourself.

“Oh come on, he won’t tell me either.” Sam whines, as he helps you with your bag into the elevator, you can only offer a sympathetic smile, “I’m as clueless as you buddy.” You pat his back.

“So you’re at Yale?” He asks as the two of you walk down the hallway.

“Yes, Psychology and English major. What do you study?”

“Aerospace Engineering.” Sam says with a grin.

“Wait you’re like smart, smart.” You comment.

Sam’s booming laughter infects you as you join in.

“Please say that in front of Bucky.” He requests and you grin nodding.

Sam opens the door carefully, when he knows for sure Bucky is in his room he lets you in and guides you to Bucky’s door.

“Good Luck.” He whispers backing away to take the video as you requested.

You raise your hand and knock, you can hear shuffling on the other side and a shirtless toned chest is what you are at eye level with, you gulp.

“What is it Sam—Sparkle?” Bucky blinks multiple times rapidly, “You, you’re here? I must be dreaming.” He says, and you hesitantly reach out to poke his arm.

“Hi.” You grin at him, Bucky’s jaw drops and he picks you up, making you wrap your legs around his waist as he twirls you around, you squeal holding onto him tightly.

“Bucky! Don’t you will—,” You try not to put too much weight on him, but he’s twirling you up like nothing.

“Doll, don’t say a word, I can do several push-ups with you sitting on me.” Bucky’s blue eyes find yours and they are shining bright, his cheeks are flushed with how much he is grinning.

“I know Mr. I can bench press triple digits.” Bucky’s helped you immensely to let go of the comments, he always only brought you resources to help you, checked in on your progress with your mental health. Never pushed you to do something you were uncomfortable with, he made sure you would have mental health check ins regularly. He caught on to your traits for being in an overload before you did.

The way the months went after you both cleared the air were a blur, as though the four years of the move never formed a deep ravine of hurt and despair. The entire moving in process was cathartic for the two of you, finally communicating and rebuilding the bridge over the gap that formed.

Bucky lets you down gently, pulling you back in for a hug. His woodsy pine scent mingling with the vanilla of your lotion, makes you feel right at home.

“What are you doing here?” Bucky’s surprise returns.

“Well somebody wanted to surprise somebody and I coordinated it.” Sam hands your phone back while he points from you to Bucky.

“Thanks Sam,” You grin at him.

“Anytime sweetheart.” Sam winks at you and you giggle.

Bucky’s eyebrows furrow, are you two flirting?

“I have an early day catch you both tomorrow.” Sam gives you another wink and departs to his room.

“You’re really here.” Bucky shakes his head in disbelief, hugging you tightly again, your warmth grounding him, the way you just fit into his arms like you belong there.

You bask in the warmth he provides, feeling his steady heartbeat, you could just stay this way.

Both Bucky and you stiffen slightly at the thoughts, pulling away.

“I am, now I believe you were having trouble with your portfolio.” You try to say teasingly, keeping your eyes on his face, bags under his eyes indicate his lack of sleep.

You hesitantly raise your hand to trace over his cheek, Bucky leans into your touch, shoulders relaxing in the relief he finds by your gesture.

<><><><><>

Bucky feels your fingertips lingering on his cheek even as you both are sprawled across his room’s floor, the photographs in transparent folders as you think over how to make up this segregation for the portfolio.

“Have you made a digital folder?” You wonder as your hands inch towards the picture of Winnie and your mom from the day they met again after years.

You could feel the warmth and love in the picture.

“All the pictures are coded so the ones in the physical one can go in a digital one which are watermarked.” Bucky runs his palm across his face, scratching over his scruff.

“Okay how about, I pick up a stack of pictures, show you each and then you say yes or no without a second thought.” The idea sparks inside you and you think it can work.

“We can try that yeah,” Bucky straightens up, ready to do this, he watches you pick up the stack of local events he covered.

You hold up one where the marathon winner crosses the finish line, half leapt up in the air, they just realise and have tears in their eyes mid air.

Bucky nods, “Yes.” He grins at you this would work.

And it did, an hour later you had ten pictures each in various categories that gave a good sense of Bucky and his body of work.

As you zip up the file with a yawn, Bucky’s gaze softens you came in right after your exams without break for him.

“Hey sleepyhead, take the bed I’ll take the couch.” Bucky chuckles as your half asleep gaze meets him.

“What? No, you need sleep, I’ll take the couch.” You protest, Bucky places both his hands on his hips, looking too much like Winnie Barnes before she would scold their duo.

“Sparkle.” He warns, you quickly take a picture on your phone.

“Bucky, you look exactly like your mom before she would scold us.” You break out into giggles at his mortified expression.

“Sparkle.” He whines, trying to grab your phone away from you to delete it.

Currently you’re pinned under him arms extended up to stop him from getting your phone.

“Sparkle I just want to check the time.” He feigns innocence.

“Bucky you have a clock right there.” You point out, huffing.

“In London!” He defends.

“Use your own phone.”

“Yours is nicer.” Bucky huffs, he nods as he decides to tickle you.

You pale as you realise what is he planning.

“No.” You warn trying to scramble away before he begins.

“Oh no, no, no,” Bucky pins down your hands in one of his and his free hand begins tickling your sides as you squeal and try to break away.

Bucky has a million dollar smile as your phone drops out of your grip but he just enjoys having you laugh and squeal, your skin is so soft and warm and god he just wants to kiss you, he pauses the thought taking him by surprise.

Your face is inches away from his, you’re breathing hard but still laughing up at him, arching away from him and you are flush against his now shirt clad chest.

Bucky’s face moves closer, you look at him, then down to his lips, your mind flashes back to the grocery store aisle. His lips are so close his breath fans across your face, you close your eyes.

The doorbell rings and you open your eyes, Bucky looks into yours searching for something, he wonders if he should continue before answering the door. You bite your lip, wondering if he regrets it, the next ring of the doorbell has you both scramble up to grab the late night chinese take out.

<><><><><><><>

‘dear Bucky,

god i feel stupid writing this after six months of that moment in your room.

i can’t outright ask you, it just feels, it feels different between us? not in a bad way, fuck, did we fuck up? why didn’t we just kiss? it feels so right being in your arms and having you in mine. as though, as though we were made for each other?

why can’t i just tell you that i am in love with you, i am in love with my best friend, probably have been for the longest time and i wished we would have kissed in the grocery aisle.

you would think i would know what the right fucking words are? being a writer and all but i don’t have them. at all. i just know four that only make sense—

Bucky, I love you.

I’ve written countless letters to you and yet writing this one seems to be the biggest task even though what i want to say to you is so very simple.

I want to tell you in person, I want to say the words, to you in front of everyone.

I just I worry what if what if i lose you?

I’ve written countless lines about love and yet I don’t know if this is enough, if these scattered words, that i’m scrambling to put together to make some coherence out of are even making sense?

I wishfully think that maybe, maybe you love me too, in the same way, its so selfish of me, hoping praying that my best friend is in love with me as well.

If you do not feel the same wat then just forget about this, I, I don’t know just, don’t stop being my best friend please. it is selfish of me to put this on you and still want you in my life but, i lost you once i can’t i can’t lose you again.

-Sparkle.’

You groan, this letter sounds and looks so stupid. Zero readability. Zero continuity, clarity, ugh.

You turn the page over placing it on the papers in front of you as your room-mate Natasha walks in,

“Are you going to tell him you are in love with him or is that love letter not happening? Of all the important things to write in a letter neither of you do that.” She sits down on the table, shuffling the papers to make space.

“He doesn’t love me, love me.” You object and Nat smacks your arm.

“He took the midnight train to here because you were having an anxiety attack. He stayed on call while he took a two hour train ride and then held you till you finally slept after a four day non sleep fest. He stayed till he knew you were absolutely fine and only then did he leave. I don’t know any best friend that would do that.” She lists the points on her fingers.

“Nat,” You start, she holds up a hand.

“Will you lose him if you tell him?” Her expression unreadable.

“I don’t know.” You answer honestly.

“Will telling him how you feel make you feel better?”

“Nat, I don’t know I want to yell that I love him but, I’m scared I’ll lose him as my best friend, that can’t happen again.”

Natasha pulls you close, as you sniffle.

“You should tell him, I know from the way he looks at you.” She reassures you.

“If this backfires I will stop talking to you.” You warn her, as she smiles.

“Send the letter.” She prompts.

“No, I’m, I’m going to give it to him the next day of his graduation.” You decide, the entire family would be there so if anything went sideways you would not be missed.

Graduation.

Bucky spots you sitting on the bleachers between your mom and his, they made a whole trip out of it deciding to stay for a few days, he waves at you all before settling into his designated chair, his phone chimes.

Sam: man you have to tell her.

Bucky: Sam will you just drop it.

Sam: no i will not, if you don’t tell her i will ask her out.

Bucky glares at the phone turning to locate Sam’s smug grin.

Sam looks down typing as Bucky’s phone chimes again.

Sam: she will still be your best friend, even if she doesn’t love you the same way, which is impossible because that entire weekend she wouldn’t take her eyes off of you.

Sam attaches a picture he sneaked of Bucky being on the phone in the kitchen and you looking fondly at Bucky, he could clearly see the red tinge on your cheeks.

Bucky: fine i’ll tell her today, but if this backfires…

Sam: I will be on the receiving end of James Barnes’ Trademark Glare for eternity.

Bucky: Worse.

Sam: just tell her you love her then you will hug me because she loves you too

Bucky turns his phone silent as the Dean begins the opening statements, the entire event is a blur and Bucky finds your smiling gaze when he takes his degree in his hands. All of you are cheering so hard for him he feels elated and accomplished.

As Sam and he wait for the crowd to disperse so they can introduce each other’s families, you run upto Bucky and hug him.

“Congratulations.” You kiss his cheek, Bucky feels his skin warm at the gesture.

“Thank you, Sparkle.” He keeps his arm around you as the Barnes and Wilson’s approach the cleared area as well.

Winnie Barnes instantly pulls Sam into a warm hug and pinches his cheek, where as Sam’s nephews AJ and Cass run up to Bucky, he bends down to pull them into a hug.

They ring choruses of congratulations all around and Sam and Bucky both can’t let go of their elated mood. During dinner you notice Sam gesturing with his head to Bucky, and Bucky shaking his head and narrowing his eyes. When you catch Sam’s eye he quickly looks away.

“Is everything okay?” You whisper to Bucky.

“Ye-yeah, Sparkle.” Bucky is caught off guard and he wishes Sam would be discreet.

You nod, not really satisfied and worrying if something is amiss.

Bucky takes note of your worried expression and leans in,

“Sparkle, I promise its nothing to worry about, Sam’s just stressing over his internship.” He assures, taking your hand in his and rubbing soothing circles.

“You sure you aren’t covering up something thats bothering you?” You raise an eyebrow at him, he shakes his head.

“No, I would tell you if it was, promise.” He smiles.

“Oh um I have my next letter with me I’ll give it to you tomorrow.” You say no idea why are you putting yourself in this position.

“Why not today?” Bucky furrows his eyebrows.

“Well because if I sent it by post it would reach tomorrow.” You shrug hoping your voice does not waiver.

“Well I want to read it today.” He presses on,

“Bucky, no today is about you.” You defend.

“Yes and that letter is addressed to me. Come on it’ll be my graduation gift.” He juts out his bottom lip making a puppy eyed face.

You sigh, handing it to him, his smile looking at the envelope is worth bringing forth your humiliation a day ahead.

Bucky opens the envelope, eager to know your thoughts, when his smile falters you feel your heart sink down into the pits of the marina trench.

There is a silence that slowly takes over the table, as they notice you looking at Bucky with tears in your eyes and Bucky reading the letter.

Bucky can’t say anything emotions caught in his throat, he really wished he would have kissed you in the grocery store too.

He can’t believe it you love him too.

Bucky, I love you.

The words burn into his memory, etched upon his heart and he looks up at you tears in his eyes as well.

“I’m sorry, I should not have—,” You begin your apology,

“Sparkle, Sparkle, I love you too.” He cuts you off, watching as you take his words in and your sadden expression turns into elation.

“About damn time.” Sam mutters.

As Bucky grins cupping your cheek and finally having your lips on his own.

There is a chorus of awes around the dinner table that just makes both of you grin in the kiss, both of you blushing as you pull away.

Bucky wraps his arm around you as your head rests on his shoulder, he kisses your forehead, with an unspoken promise of forever.

Bucky, age sixteen.

‘Dear Sparkle,

I got the letter where you said you won’t write anymore, it broke me, i cannot get through a day without my mind making me search for you in the crowd.

i know i’ve been an idiot, dickhead if you will. I cannot lose you. I cannot lose my best friend, do you know why i call you sparkle? it is not because of those sparkle pens you had, its because, when you looked at me when i was seven there was this sparkle in your eye and I just had to know you.

Because someone with that much radiance around her had to be the biggest source of happiness right? and you were and still are.

i won’t mind if you throw this letter without reading.actually i will feel horrible, that

i was so stupid to get into what the people at school said that friendships fade so there is no point in trying to keep them.

i hope you can forgive me, should i send the other unsent letters too? maybe i should, but if you want to then only i will, i, i’m so sorry for what is going on at home, mom won’t tell me, do you want me to call? I’ll ask mom to let me talk to you next time she speaks to your mom.

sparkle please forgive me, i know this is my own doing, i’m an idiot but i’m your idiot best friend.

nine months of no responses and i’m asking for you to not be mad at me, i’m asking for a miracle, but that won’t happen will it? hope it does.

i love you

i miss you so much it hurts, i know it hurts you too.

-bucky.’

----x----

#loveletterswritingchallenge #pellucid constellations #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #best friend bucky #bucky x plus size reader #bucky x female reader #buck barnes fic #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fluff #james barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fluff #sebastian stan #bucky x yn #the winter soldier x you #frostironfudge #bucky barnes x plus size reader #james buchanan barnes x you #white wolf #bucky barnes angst #bucky is the best #bucky x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky angst #bucky fanfic #modern bucky barnes #modern au

[givemetherapyimawritingtravesty]

Shout out to @fuckboyregulus for sharing the headers, I took one look and went Ah what’s today? Saturday you say? Well, don’t mind if I do. So here’s a little Jegulus to warm up this cold day…

This is like a half cooked thought but eh at least I wrote something I guess.

“Fuck!” Regulus cursed as he closed the front door behind him, toeing off his shoes and making his way to the living room with his jacket still on.

“Me.” Came James' voice from where he was wrapped up in blankets on the couch.

Regulus just rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s antics as he plopped onto the couch. “Later. I need to warm up first.”

“I can help with that.” James said, emerging from the nest of blankets and shuffling over to sit on Regulus’ lap, unbuttoning his jacket and pushing it off this shoulders. Regulus shifted so James could remove the jacket and toss it behind him. Regulus shivered at the lack of warmth but it was quickly replaced as James grabbed a couple of blankets to wrap around them as he settled on Regulus lap, snaking his arms around his torso and resting his head on the other man’s shoulder with a sigh.

A soft smile took over Regulus' face as he fisted the ends of the blankets and pulled them around James, holding him close as the other man’s body heat began to warm him up.

It didn’t take long for Regulus to warm up and he was about to tease James for falling asleep on him, as he was prone to do, when James started to gently rock his hips down, wining quietly into Regulus’ ear.

“Yeah?” Regulus smirked into the other man’s hair.

Instead of a verbal response, James ground down harder, nodding frantically before biting at Regulus’ neck and starting to suck a hickey into his skin with soft lips.

“Well, okay then.” Regulus laughed, hands dropping the blanket and roaming up to run his hands through James’ hair and pulled roughly until James’ mouth came off his neck with a soft pop and Regulus got to work attacking James’ neck with fervor. Within no time, James was panting above him and pulling back enough to he could snake his arm between them and start unbuttoning both of their jeans.

“Off. Now. Please.” James panted.

“Okay okay, someone’s eager.” Regulus chuckled as he moved one hand to cradle the back of James neck and one on his lower back. He maneuvered James to lay down on the couch and hovered over him, moving to tug off James’ jeans and yank down his boxers, releasing his hard cock and wasting no time taking him down to the base.

Regulus gagged and backed off to suck at the head, tasting salty precum on his tongue. James writhed below him as he bobbed his head, taking more and more each time. Regulus shifted from between James’ legs to straddle a thigh, working himself against it, still in his jeans, to get some relief for himself.

James moaned when Regulus took him all the way down again and his hands flew up to tangle in Regulus’ hair. He managed to tap Regulus in warning as he felt his balls drawn up. Regulus gave a particularly hard thrust onto his thigh as James came down his throat. James felt Regulus’ go rigid and his jaw go slack before pulling off and working James down with a tight fist as he rocked himself minutely onto James, coming down from his own orgasm.

“You…”

“Shh.” Regulus said, nuzzling into James groin as his hips slowed to a stop.

“Fuck.” James thunked his head against the armrest of the couch.

Regulus hummed out noncommittally in response.

James leaned up, moving to pull Regulus up to him and surging forward to kiss him deeply, tongues exploring and tasting the remnants of his release on the other man’s tongue. James hummed, breaking the kiss and looking at Regulus’ relaxed expression, his eyes still closed. “Let’s take a shower and clean you up, yeah?”

Regulus hummed out a negative noise and James laughed.

“A bath then? Come on, I’ll go run the hot water and you grab us some pjs. I’ll even use that lavender soup you like. Lots of bubbles.”

Regulus made a happy sound and let James lead him down the hall, stopping every few paces to place a soft kiss on James face.

They soon settled into the tub and Regulus went lax laying against James' chest as he washed Regulus off.

#jegulus smut #jegulus #regulus black #james potter #regulus black deserved better #so i gave it to him #smutty Saturday #though it’s like 8 minutes late one

[winter-soldier-vibes]

hi! request for one where reader struggles w depression a lot but hides it, tho it’s been getting worse recently and only bucky has noticed the small signs. then one night after no one seeing her the whole day or maybe something happened he went to check on her but she wasn’t in her room and he panics only to find her on the roof and just talks her down <3 all the love

Of course! I hope you're okay love❤❤❤. I saw another anon request something a lil similar in my ask box but I can't find it, maybe it got eaten, but I hope you like this!

Word count: 3,400 (ish)

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, depression, close to an attempt, Bucky talks about HYDRA, feelings of worthlessness.

A/N: This deals with very heavy subject matter, please do not read if you are in a dark place. I am here to talk if you want but I encourage you that if you feel this way in ANY way, no matter how severe, to reach out to someone. I also just wanted to say that the way someone talks someone down is never the same, some people may find a different approach more helpful or realistic. I wrote it this way because this is what I feel in my experience would have been helpful to hear. So please, if you don’t think it’s the way someone should talk someone down - please don’t come at me for it.

Overnight

People often don’t notice the small signs. The smiles that don’t reach the eyes, the dark circles from lack of sleep, the laughs that slowly become more forced. People don’t often pick up on those things right away. They happen slowly, as depression will often manifest. It’s rarely ever a flip of a switch shut down, happy one day and sad the net. Anxiety was like that, small things can trigger panic attacks. But with depression, it was this slow ache that grew in your chest, this dull cloud that made everything darker day by day.

These things rarely happen overnight.

You don’t know what caused this episode. You had struggled with depression and would go through some really low episodes before returning to baseline. It was never great, but it was...manageable. Most of the time. Some things could help you predict when you would go into another episode but you felt yourself slipping and you weren’t quite sure why.

You started withdrawing from the team. Subtly, not all at once. That would cause too much concern and the last thing you wanted was to be a burden. Especially with something like this, you didn’t even have an explanation.

It started slow, training on your own, missing team dinners, that sort of thing. If they were going out to celebrate or staying in for a movie you would slip away to your room where you didn’t have to worry about hiding it.

You didn’t want to be alone, you already felt so goddamn lonely. But somehow being lonely and surrounded by people who loved you hurt more.

The team chalked it up to you wanting to be alone, a bad day, being tired, etc. Whatever recycled excuse you gave them didn’t phase them. At least, not at first.

See, people who have experienced similar things will pick up in the small signs that others show. Someone who knows what anxiety is like will often be the first to pick up on nervous habits and tics. Often people notice when someone’s energy is coming from adrenaline and caffeine rather than sleep when they’ve done the same thing. Someone who knows what it’s like to feel hopeless and not want to reach out - they notice the small signs of withdrawing.

He noticed pretty early on the change in your demeanor. You had always been one to keep to yourself but this was different. You always seemed exhausted in a way that sleep couldn’t ever fix. Your laugh wasn’t quite the way it used to be, now forced and short, not the usual bubbly laugh it was.

Most people are able to just live and go about daily functions - eating, sleeping - it just came naturally to them. Surviving was natural to them. But it seemed like you had to put thought and effort into surviving.

Which, you were.

Slowly it became hard to motivate yourself to do the basic things to take care of yourself. You would do the bare minimum because you had to, but even that was starting to take more effort than it should. You were eating less because you just weren’t that hungry, but you still did because you knew if you didn’t you’d get sick eventually. You spent as much time in your bed as possible, but not much of it was sleeping.

Bucky picked up on these things and came up to talk to you about them, but you’d smile and shake your head.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just a little tired I guess.”

You weren’t lying, you were tired - emotionally more than physically.

Tired of more than what the day brought - tired of yourself, of your emotions. Tired of the way you felt so out of touch with yourself, out of control. Tired of how you wanted to get better but no matter what you did, it still came back. You were so tired of being exhausted all the time and there was nothing you could do about it.

You were tired of living this way.

You weren’t necessarily suicidal, it wasn’t that you didn’t want to live. You just didn’t want to live this life, not like this. You were so utterly exhausted day in and day out, every day was about getting to the end of it. Everything seemed pointless and you felt like you were watching life go by but you weren’t living it.

You were surviving. And you didn’t see much of a point to it anymore.

Your mask was cracking. And people were noticing.

Maybe it was when you were falling asleep during mission briefings, or nearly passing out in training because you had forgotten to eat. Maybe it was how no one saw you anywhere that wasn’t necessary. The team passed it off as a bad day or week, something you would get over because you were strong.

But apparently not the strong that you needed to be. You could fight off agents, assassins, you could run for miles. But you couldn’t stop your mind from telling you that life was pointless and you were a waste of space. But the team wrote it off as a bad week. But Bucky knew that this had been going on for much longer than a week.

These things rarely happen overnight.

Too many people were asking you if you were okay, and you weren’t, but you didn’t know how to say it. But you thought that if you had to choke out one more “I’m fine,” you would shatter. And you weren’t ready for everyone to see that.

You stopped coming out of your room unless it was for the bare necessities. You would come out at night for water and food, picking at it in your room so that no one would see you.

But that only made Bucky worry more.

The team, again, wrote it off as you needing some “Alone time” because maybe you just had a “bad day”. Of course they worried about you but they thought that if things were bad, or if there was something you needed help with, you would speak up. Because that’s what you did.

But Bucky was worried. He knew that when someone pushes people away, they may think being alone will help, but it only makes it worse. You may not want to talk to anyone, you may think being alone is what’s best. But it rarely is.

Being alone makes it harder to fight your demons. They can run rampant when given the chance. Being alone is the darkest and loneliest hell, and he knew that all too well.

He wasn’t going to leave you alone in that.

He came up to your room one night, wanting to check on you. He knocked on your door, being met with silence. He knocked again, calling your name, but was again met with silence. He tried the doorknob and found it unlocked, opening the door to an empty room.

Where the hell were you?

You weren’t anywhere else in the tower, so where were you?

Bucky stood there for a moment, confused before he remembered the AI system. “F.R.I.D.A.Y.Where's y/n?”

“I believe that they were heading up to the rooftop about a half-hour ago.”

Bucky’s eyes widened as he sprinted out the hallway and towards the stairs.

---

You looked out over the street, arms crossed over your shivering body. For now, you just looked down at the city below. You chuckled bitterly to yourself. There must have been thousands of people down there, thousands of lives, and you wondered how many people felt the way you did right now. So much hustle and bustle, things to do and places to be. You didn’t know a single person down there, it was just a blur of movement. Yet they all had their own personal stories and hells and blessings and shit that made them who they were.

You wondered how many of them pretended like they were fine.

You were standing closer to the edge than you should’ve been. You weren’t doing yourself any favors. You really shouldn’t be up here, but you didn’t know what else to do. Everything hurt all the time and it was just getting worse. You didn’t know whether or not you were gonna jump but here you were, teetering on the edge. Because no matter how much this hurt you still couldn’t bring yourself to fall forward.

You were scared.

You felt tears sting your eyes, angry, exhausted, everything - you couldn’t do anything right anymore, you felt no purpose, you were tired and scared all of the time. You felt so utterly done with everything, yet here you were with a way out and you were too scared of that too.

You were trapped in your body, trapped in your life, and while you didn’t want to die, you didn’t want it to hurt anymore. It wasn’t that you had nothing to live for. It wasn’t that you had nothing left. You knew you did, you knew the team was there for you. You had more support than you could ever need. But you didn’t know how to use them.

You didn’t even know how this happened. How did things get this bad? You remembered when you were happy, the person you used to be. The person everyone still seemed to think you were. Where did they go? What happened to them? And would you ever be able to be that person again?

Did it even matter? Would anyone even care or notice? They did a great job at ignoring what had been happening. Not that you wanted them to find out in the first place. It was so confusing, you wanted to scream for help, you wanted someone to just fucking notice or something. But didn’t you also answer every single “Are you okay?” with "Oh yeah I’m fine, just a little tired.”

So did you truly want them to know? Did you actually want them to notice or help?

You closed your eyes tightly, shaking your head a little to yourself. It was all so confusing, so frustrating. You didn’t know what to do. You felt completely trapped within yourself.

These things rarely happen overnight. And they never get better overnight either.

You took a breath as you looked down, toes slightly off of the ledge. One step or losing your balance would be all it would take. And then it would be over. Forever. It wouldn’t hurt anymore.

“Y/n?” you heard a calm, albeit nervous voice speak from behind you.

You felt your breath catch in your throat. As you squeezed your eyes shut. “No,” you whispered to yourself.

“Y/n, can you come down from there?”

“Why are you here?” you asked, voice strained with pain.

“Because I’m worried about you,” he said, voice sounding closer.

“I don’t want you to be worried about me! I never wanted anyone to worry about me!” you exclaimed.

“And where did not talking about what was bothering you get you?”

“No one would ever have to worry about me again. Not anymore.”

“No one on the team would ever be able to stop thinking about you,” Bucky started, walking closer to you. He spoke gently, worried he would scare you or you would suddenly jump off. “About how we should’ve worried about you. Everyone would blame themselves and ask themselves if they could’ve helped you if they had seen you were hurting.”

You heard his footsteps stop.

“This isn’t going to solve anything.”

You took a shaky breath. “What else am I supposed to do, huh?” you turned around, back facing the streets below as Bucky stood a few feet in front of you. “Pretend like this is gonna get better? Because it isn’t. I’m so sick and tired of pretending like one day everything’s gonna be okay again. It never stops hurting, it never turns off, and I can’t do it anymore!” you yelled, tears streaming down your face. You shook your head. “I know this won’t solve jack shit and it probably makes me weak, but I’m okay with that. Because I’m past the point of wanting to solve anything. I just want it to stop! Is that too much to ask?!”

“It is if your life is the price!” Bucky exclaimed. “We can’t lose you. You’re a part of this team - this family,” he said a little more calmly, trying to keep his own tears at bay. No one should go through feeling so hopeless, and you were one of the kindest people he knew.

But some of the most kind-hearted people are the meanest people to themselves.

“I’m not here to judge you or try to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. I’m not gonna tell you life is all beauty and grace because it isn’t. It’s okay to be in pain but this is not the way to fix it. I just wanna help you.”

You shook your head. “No one can help me.”

“At least let me try,” he said gently.

“You don’t understand okay? It never stops hurting,” you said, voice cracking slightly. “It always hurts and it's this ache in my chest and I feel like I’m suffocating. No one told me that life was going to hurt, no one fucking told me! They say life isn’t fair, or that life may sometimes bring you down, but they never said that existing would be torture. And I don’t want to keep living if it’s going to hurt this much.”

You saw Bucky’s face fall and you shook your head. “Please just go - You weren’t supposed to see this.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’d rather see you at your worst than not see you at all,” he said. “You don’t have to do this yourself. I know it may seem like you do but you don’t. You never had to, and you never will have to. You have me, us, the team - we’re all here for you but we can’t if you don’t let us. But I’m not leaving you. You’ve been alone for too long already.”

You felt a new lump in your throat, feeling overwhelmed. Trapped between death and your worst nightmare. You never wanted to be vulnerable, you never wanted to hurt anyone with your own pain. But hearing Bucky’s words, seeing the panic in his eyes -

You had already hurt him. And he was right - killing yourself was only going to hurt the team more.

But it just hurt so much.

You had heard it so many times - “think about the impact you’ll have on those you love”, or how “suicide is selfish” and shit - made you feel like a horrible person. Because you did care about everyone, you cared too much. And it wasn’t that you didn’t care about hurting them with your decision - it was just that the pain of staying alive began outweighing the fear of hurting those you loved.

And it was torture.

You wanted to say everything that was on your mind - scream and cry and curse the universe, you wanted to break something, you wanted to be hugged, held, and told it would be okay - you wanted to get everything out.

You didn’t want to be alone anymore.

You’ve been alone for too long already.

You let out a broken sob, knees going weak as Bucky caught you and pulled you into his chest, away from the edge.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” you said between sobs.

“I know you don’t, I know,” Bucky said, holding you tightly as if he feared you would disappear if he let you go.

Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt me was utter bullshit. Because the next words that came out of your mouth hurt Bucky more than anything HYDRA had done to him.

“Please just let me die. Why won’t you let me die? I just wanna die, please just let this be over.”

People didn’t realize what depression could do to a person. Someone who was full of life could end up like this. You don’t know what went wrong or when it happened, but you just felt absolutely broken inside. The kind of broken that can’t be fixed.

Bucky felt his heart shatter, tears falling down his own cheeks at how hopeless you had sounded. He had never been overly close with you, but you were always kind to everyone on the team. And the team had failed you by not noticing sooner.

“I’m gonna bring you inside okay?” Bucky said. You didn’t hear him, crying so hard that you couldn’t focus on anything else. He picked you up, carrying you back into the tower. Bucky brought you back to your room, sitting down on your bed with you. He rubbed a hand up and down your back, holding you tightly as he tried to help you calm down.

Exhaustion overtook you, your body becoming worn out from all of the crying and emotions. You never let your guard down like that in front of anyone, and shame began to overtake you.

“I - I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have seen that I’m so so sorry -”

“Don’t,” he started. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“No one was supposed to know,” you whispered.

“Why not? What’s so bad about asking for help?”

You paused for a moment, unsure exactly why. “I don’t know - I just feel really weak sometimes?” you said, more of a question to yourself. “Like I know everyone needs help and shit but I didn’t have a reason to need it. It hurts but I don’t know why, I cry when I’m not sad, I just - I’m not in control of myself and I don’t know why and if I can’t explain it to myself then how am I supposed to talk to anyone about it?”

“That makes more sense than you think. All of us on the team, we all go through shit. We see so many horrible things, we’ve been through so many things. We all have something. You have this. It’s okay if you don’t know why you feel the way you do but hurting yourself isn’t going to help anything.”

“I know what it’s like, wanting a way out,” Bucky said and you immediately knew what he was talking about. “Days that I wished Pierce or Rumlolw or whoever would just finish me rather than punish me over and over. It wasn’t that I wanted to die, I just wanted it to stop.”

You looked at him. “I know. But what I didn’t know then was that it would end. I never thought it could ever end or that it would ever end, but it did. And if I had died back then I would’ve died only knowing that pain. I wouldn’t have known that it could get better or that it would. And I’m not saying everything is perfect now because it’s not. But it’s better than it was. Okay?”

You nodded, fresh tears spilling out of your eyes. You knew the torture that Bucky went through, everyone on the team did. It had taken him a long time to speak about it on his own and move through it. But he did.

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” you said.

“Talking about it, getting it out is a great start. Talking about it never hurt anyone.” When you seemed a little apprehensive, Bucky added, “I felt alone for so long. Battling these thoughts and memories in my head. They never stopped. But when I started talking about it with someone, and they helped me work through it - I don’t know. It helped me a lot. It wasn’t just me and my thoughts anymore. I wasn’t alone.”

I wasn’t alone

“You don’t have to be alone anymore. I’m not going anywhere. Whether you like it or not I’m gonna be right here with you

These things rarely get better overnight. But maybe with someone else, they could get better a little bit quicker.

You gave a small nod. “Okay.”

---

Taglist: @buckys2thicc @babydaddy-buckybarnes @thatfangirl42 @im-sick-of-failing @sup--ernova @peggycarter-steverogers @bucks-bunny @barnesplums @mardema @abitgryffindorky @freigeistundanderes @strawberrimae @broadwaybabe18 @sokovianheadtilt @daydreaming-lightly @onyourgoddamnleft @arkhamasylumresident

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#bucky barns x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader x steve rogers #bucky barnes comfort #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #angst angst angst #angst #marvel fanfic #mcu #marvel #marvel fanfiction #mcu fic #mcu fanfiction #tw suicidal #tw depressive

[hareharrison]

hold me

pairing: george harrison x reader

summary: george is in the process of finishing abbey road, and has been repeatedly coming home frustrated. instead of talking to you about it, he distances himself completely, and only speaks to you in annoyance or anger, and lashes out on you. he doesn’t know how much it affects you and one day comes home to the effects firsthand.

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, angy geo, neurodivergent reader, invasive thoughts, mental breakdown/panic attack, but it works out in the end

a/n: hayyyy ok so i wrote this as a comfort fic for myself, and i decided to post it cause why not. i struggle with intense fear of abandonment cause of bpd haha fun 😐and wanted to make it from the POV of a neurodivergent reader?? so this is like a comfort fic for ND readers?? idk if i need to put any other potential trigger warnings for this but if i do please lmk and i will fix it

year: 1969

the flat was quiet without him. to be honest, it was quiet with or without him, lately. as much as you didn’t want to admit it, george had been distant. he was always a quiet person, but he has never dismissed you this much. you knew that his job could be tiring and you tried not to overthink it, but you couldn’t help but feel bad. a voice in your head was planting horrible ideas, saying things like, “you fucked up, he doesn’t like you anymore, you’re annoying.” but still, you pushed on and tried your best to ignore the noise in your brain.

you sigh heavily and slide back into the couch. you had the next two days off of work, and nothing to do. george of course had to work on your days off, which left you alone at home. with your thoughts. it was hard getting through today, your intrusive thoughts were particularly loud... but he would be home any minute now, which brought on a bit of hope; seeing him should rid you of your own jailhoused mind.

the tv played some sitcom in front of you, which you had no interest in. all you could think about was if you ruined things. what if he was thinking of leaving you? it would be your fault... and yet you couldn’t think of a single thing you’ve ever done that might have hurt him.

the door opened gently and let in a cool draft that brushed against your warm skin. you look toward the entrance, seeing your george sigh heavily with exhaustion as he took his shoes and coat off. he looked up to you, his boldly furrowed brows softening.

“hi, love,” he says, walking toward you. you stand and approach him to greet him with a quick kiss. he holds you for a little longer than usual, and you take the opportunity to melt into his arms and breathe in his smell, something you’d been deprived of recently. he rests his chin on top of your head, which laid comfortably on his rising chest. it was moments like this that made all your worries slip away, moments like this that you wished you could cling onto forever and ever.

“how was your day?” you ask, finally leaning back to look up at him. he lets go of you and runs a hand through his long hair.

“not good,” he says, a frown on his perfectly sculpted face. you return his expression at the sight of him being sad. quickly, you remember your dinner ideas. maybe that would cheer him up.

“hey, maybe we can go get something to eat? maybe get your mind off of things?” you suggest, looking up at his brown eyes. he looks down at you, eyes full of regret.

“i’m sorry love, but i’d rather just head to bed already,” he says remorsefully. you smile softly and reassure him that it’s okay and he should get some rest. but part of you breaks inside, knowing he doesn’t want to spend time with you.

he headed upstairs and you followed, the painful ideas returning at full speed.

“you’re so annoying, of course he doesn’t want to spend any time with you. you’re so annoying and clingy,” your brain says and you flinch at the harsh thoughts. through your entire bedtime routine, thoughts flooded your mind and filled your entire being up, and you felt like you were being drowned from the inside out. george stood next to you as you both brushed your teeth, not speaking a single word to you or giving you a single glance. you changed into one of george’s t-shirts and watched as he slid out of his clothes and into his pajamas in seconds. he muttered a monotone, “good night,” before turning on his side, his back facting you.

as much as you didn’t want to, you believed the mean voices and hung your head as you got into bed next to george.

you slept back to back that night.

————————————————————

the sun seeped into your room through your windows, and invaded your bed, waking you rather unpleasantly. you groan lightly as you reached over your bed for george, but only found empty space. his side of the bed was cold, indicating that he’d been up for a while now.

you sit up slowly, rubbing your eyes as the aromas of freshly brewed coffee and morning dew hit your senses. you hear the song of the early birds chirping as your feet hit the cool floor. as you head downstairs, you can hear george on the phone, and you soon see him muttering softly before taking a long drag from his cigarette. you don’t bother him, seeing that there was paperwork on the table and his call must be business related. naturally, you decide to head for the coffee, the smell luring you in like a fish.

you poured the hot, dark liquid into your favorite mug and add in your preferred amounts of cream and sugar. looking out the window, you see water drip gently from the leaves of a tree that george and you had planted a year ago. you sip your coffee and reminisce about the times you used to actually spend time with george. how nice it was, seeing him smile so often.

you suddenly hear george raise his voice at the phone, something unlike him entirely. you jump at the unpleasant sound before peeking through the hallway to see what on earth was happening.

“no, i don’t care! i want the bloody bastard fired, in fact, tell him not to bother showing up today,” he shouts into the phone before slamming it down, placing his head between his knees and groaning in frustration. seeing george this upset and acting out on it was truly a rare sighting, and you thought carefully about what to next.

after careful consideration, you tiptoe into the room and gently rest a hand on his shoulder, the sudden contact making him flinch.

“christ, (y/n) are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack?” he grumbles before lighting another cigarette.

“sorry,” you say softly, “would you like some tea?” you figure it could calm his anger and soothe some of his abnormal irritability.

“what? tea? there’s already coffee made,” he says rudely. you take a step back, saying nothing. you know that you didn’t do anything and that this behavior would pass. george was never like this. your eyes find the time and see that george should have left ten minutes ago.

“george, you’re gonna be late to work,” you say, thinking you could at least do something helpful. his head snaps back at you and his once soft face turned hard with anger.

“what are you implying? you want me gone?” he stands up and angrily grabs all of the papers scattered on the table, shoving them into a folder and the folder into his bag, “fine, i’ll leave. im out the door.”

you look at him in confusion, you’d barely woken up and were just trying to help, “what’s the matter with you?”

“what’s the matter with me,” he repeats, looking away and scoffing. he runs his hand through his hair in frustration, “im sick of this, (y/n)! im sick of life. i come home exhausted and you have half a mind to ask me if i want to talk about it!”

“you always want to go straight to bed,” you defend yourself, hurt that he would even suggest that you don’t care about him. his dark eyes glare into your own for a moment that feels like hours, trying to think of somethig clever to say in response, but he just wasn’t ever much of a fighter. he finally chooses to put his cigarette out on the table’s ashtray and grab his coat. if you wanted him out of the house, he was more than happy to comply.

“george-“ you start.

“no,” he cuts you off, “don’t say anything right now, i can’t even look at you.” and he doesn’t, he ignores your presence entirely as he picks up his bag and walks out the door.

you’re left in the cold house, alone, hurt, and dumbfounded. you couldn’t believe what had just happened. you couldn’t believe that george, your george, had taken his anger out on you, simply for trying to help his morning be less shitty. worse than that, he thought you wanted him gone, when all you wanted was to be with him. is this how it was going to be now? a bitter, loveless relationship? your eyes sting with fresh tears at the thought, and a huge lump in your throat grows painfully. you take a deep breath before heading upstairs. you wanted anything but to cry this early in the morning, and the only reason you got up somewhat early was to see george before he left to work. now that your morning was ruined, you figured heading back to bed was the next best thing.

you climb back into your shared bed, suppressing your emotions with the warmth of your fluffy blankets and soft pillows. the comfort of a bed felt almost like a hug, and you sighed, letting the pain drift away as you fell asleep.

————————————————————

when you opened your eyes, the realization hit you. you’d slept until the sun began to set, completely ignoring your emotions, stuffing them down inside of you like an overflowing trash can. being awake made them fling right back at you; sleeping didn’t change a thing, and was only a temporary pause in your pain.

all of your feelings came back to you at once, and it once again felt like you were drowning internally. only this time, the thoughts weren’t the invasive factor. your emotions were overwhelmingly intense on top of your brain practically screaming horrible things to you. your breathing quickens as you feel tears slide down your face. this time you werent able to swallow the thick lump in your throat, and you began to weep softly.

this was it, george was leaving you. he hates you, he wants nothing to do with you. there was nothing you could do but hug your knees and cry. you choked on a sob and started rocking back and forth in attempts to try to soothe yourself. but you couldn’t stop, it felt like your entire world was falling apart. you soon began to have shortness of breath and struggled with your breathing, feeling your heart beat at an intense rate that you couldn’t control.

your bedroom door opens, revealing george’s early arrival. he immediately rushes to your side, afraid to touch you but wanting so bad to comfort you.

“(y/n)? (y/n), breathe. breathe, baby,” he takes your hand and you look at him. you aren’t sure if him being here is making the situation better or worse. seeing him try to help you stirred all kinds of feelings in your mind. you felt like you weren’t good enough for him, like you didn’t deserve his help.

george begins breathing in through his nose and out of his mouth, gently guiding you and hoping you will try to do the same. he sits in front of you on the bed and holds your face in his gentle hands. you look up into his eyes, the chocolate features of his face soothing you as your breath began to steady.

“that’s it,” he encourages.

“do you hate me?” you cry softly.

“what? no, (y/n), i’d give my life for yours, do you know that? you’re so, very special to me,” he slides over to sit beside you on the bed and wraps his long arms around you.

“why are you so distant?” you look up at him, and tears continue to roll down your flushed cheeks, “you acted so mean to me this morning, i feel like you want nothing to do with me.”

george is hurt by your words. he truly didn’t mean to be distant, and he never wanted to hurt you.

“i’m sorry,” he says, “ive been so overwhelmed i haven’t stopped to think of how you must feel. im really sorry my love i never meant to hurt you like this.” he embraces you tightly and you give into his comforting touch, wrapping your arms around his torso and digging your face into his chest. 

you take a deep breath, “i understand,” you say before looking up to him to whisper, “i miss you. i miss us.”

“i miss you too darling,” he pauses for a moment, “how about i take tomorrow off? we can do whatever you’d like.”

you sniffle, “what about the album? the deadline?” 

“i can fake sick. nothing is more important to me than you,” he says, “i want nothing more than to be with you. i love you so much.”

you smile when he presses a soft kiss to your aching head, “now how about we go have something to eat? i’m starved.”

#george harrison #george harrison x reader #the beatles #the beatles x reader #beatles x reader #classic rock #beatlemania #abbey road #revolver #rubber soul #please please me #60s #70s #classic rock fandom #classic rock fanfic #the beatles fanfic #john lennon #john lennon x reader #paul mccartney #paul mccartney x reader #ringo starr #ringo starr x reader #richard starkey #richard starkey x reader

[teddy06writes]

In The Dead Of Night He's Still There

requested by @hazzray "Is this how I request? sorry I’m new to tumblr. I was wondering if you could possibly right a karlnapity x ramhybrid!reader ? the idea is that your horns trigger quackity to go into an episode due to shlatt, and causes you to want to hide your horns (or extra angst remove them) and it just a bunch of angsty stuff BUT LIKE HURT COMFORT I BEG"

{Okay so, I wrote hcs for this before that you can find here, but heres a whole ficlet}

Sapnap x karl x quackity x ramhybrid!reader

trigger warnings: panic attack, mentions of previous abuse, swearing

premise: in game au, during the day Quackity can act like everything is fine, and that Schlatt hasn't left him changed, but in the dead of night, it seems like your presences shows that maybe he did change, and that hurts you

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been nearly two years, two years since you and your now husbands had left the greater Dream smp and L'manurg behind. When L'manburg had been destroyed for the last time and Dream was put in prison, you and your partners had realized there was no point in staying.

Now, with your little house in the mountains, surrounded by winding paths and forests, it seemed like maybe the hurt that you all had seen was just connected to where you had been.

During the day, when the sun was high and laughter was shared over projects, it was easy to pretend that the scars that had been left behind didn't ache, but in the dead of night, things were different.

It had started with a nightmare, not your own of course, but Quackity's.

You'd been half asleep, fully woken at the sound of his whimpers, groggily, you sat up, "Q? Q? Are you okay? It's just a nightmare babe-"

You were cut off as he bolted up right, looking at you for a half a moment, before barley covering a cross between a gasp and a screech.

Before you could act he was jumping out of bed, breathing heavily as he backed against the wall, "No no no- I'm sorry- I didn't- I didn't mean-"

"Quackity?" Karl's groggy voice asked from behind you.

"Q?" You asked again, getting up and approaching him slowly.

"No no no no..."

When he flinched away from your touch you quickly backed away, eyes brimming with tears as your own panic grew.

Karl moved past you, "Quackity- it's okay- it's just me, Karl. Is it okay if I hold you?"

Surprisingly the noise had woken Sapnap, who was normally the heaviest sleeper, and he hurried forward, "Breath, Q, Breath it's okay."

"Sh- shl- schlatt-"

Suddenly it clicked, and you backed up further, hands flying to the curly rams horns that protruded from your head. You found yourself quickly leaving the room, falling against the bathroom wall, trying to muffle your own sobs.

Your hands pried at your bone like horns, and you were only half aware that your real intent was to break them off.

How could you do that to him? You asked yourself, how could you remind him of schlatt- how dare you- it had to change- you couldn't keep doing that.

Your fingers found the hallow dent in the side of your right horn, left from a fight with Bad during the pogtopia manburg war. You knew that there was a chip somewhere on the other from when you'd fallen as they'd first grown in, and the tip of one had long since broken off during a sparring match, before Dream had changed.

Maybe, you thought, if they could break then, they'd break now.

~~ Sapnap had found you sometime later, trying to break them. Luckily, no real damage had been done by your fingers, and had been in time to stop you from going and getting your axe.

"(y/n)- what are you doing?"

You shook your head, "I'm too much like Schlatt- I scared Q- into a panic attack-"

"Love you don't look like Schlatt." He frowned.

"Yes I do-" You choked out, grabbing your horns again, "I do- I do- They have to go Sap- they- break them off if I have to."

In an instant, he realized what you meant, quickly grabbing your hands and pulling them away from your horns, "No, love...."

"I don't want to hurt Q- he's been through enough." Fresh tears were falling now.

Sapnap pulled you into his arms, "Love...."

"Help me get rid of them Sap- please- please-" You cried into his chest.

"I can't- love, I'm not going to let you hurt yourself like that-"

"(y/n)?" Karl cut him off, leaning in the bathroom doorway.

Sapnap looked up at him, "They- want to break there horns- so Q doesn't..."

Karl frowned, quickly crouching beside you, "(y/n), darling, come on, Quackity's asking for you."

"No he's not- I hurt him-"

"You didn't hurt him, you startled him, now get your butt up and get in there for cuddles." Karl said.

Reluctantly, you let them lead you back to the bedroom, carefully climbing into bed on Sapnap's other side, as far from Quackity as possible.

"(y/n)?" He asked hoarsely.

"I'm sorry..." You mumbled.

Quackity sat up, looking over at you, "No offence to you guys, but (y/n) please just come hold me. It's okay."

You sniffed, "Really?"

"Yeah- you didn't mean it- please...?"

You nodded, quickly trading places with Karl, wrapping your arms around him.

"I'm sorry." You repeated quietly.

"I know," He sighed, "You didn't mean it. It's not your fault that he's still in my head."

#mcyt x reader #mcyt imagines #sapnap x reader #karl jacobs x reader #quackity x reader #sapnap x karl x quackity x reader #karlnapity x reader #teddy06 #teddy 06 #teddy 06 writes #teddy06 writes #teddy06writes

[starglow-xx]

(About the brother!atsushi) aRE YOU READING MY MIND MISS?! Because that has been on my mind for MONTHS. TYSM For writing it was amazing!! If you don't mind, may I request (if requests are open) atsushi, still an older brother, but with a sister that's 10-13 yrs old? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it. Keep up the good stories, ily mwuah!

*sobs* you’re so kind thank youu 🤧🤧

i wrote this a bit differently i hope that’s okay anon! at first i planned for this to be mainly abt atsushi and the reader, but i decided to add in relationship hcs with the agency bc i ran out of ideas

if you guys liked this don’t worry! im planning a special part two for this one so be the look out for it hehe

atsushi with a tween! sister

ft. the armed detective agency

like in my baby sister hcs, you’re still the most important thing to him period

the two of you got picked up by dazai and kunikida when he was 18 (obviously) and when you were 12

for a 12 year old, you were a bit small bc of malnourishment (which makes atsushi feel so bad) so both dazai and kunikida thought you were a bit younger than you actually were

they assumed you were about 9-10ish

you and atsushi both share a favorite food !! chazuke :)

so when kunikida treated the two of you, he made sure you got more bowls bc like i mentioned above, he feels really bad that you were malnourished and under weight

(don’t bring this up but kunikida felt bad too hehe)

when dazai went with your brother to the warehouse, you were with kunikida

imagine the surprise of the other ada members when kunikida came in with a little girl dressed in rags that popped out from behind him

kenji was the one who vocalized his thoughts 

“kunikida-san you have a daughter?! wow! i didn’t know that! :D”

when you found out your brother was a tiger, you were a bit concerned but you were actually kind of excited

you were even more excited when you found out the two of you were going to be taken in by the agency

anything was better than the stupid orphanage

and besides!

you got a tiger for an older brother and a bunch of other super powered agents to take care of you! who could want anything else?

at your age, you’re very impressionable and can be influenced easily so atsushi makes sure to teach you more in depth of good morals and the importance of kindness

his heart swells with pride and relief when he catches you being kind to others

pride bc he’s proud that even after all the two of you have gone through, you still ended up being a good kid and having a bright view of the world

and relief bc he hasn’t failed as a big brother

pfftt like he could ever fail

but please, from time to time reassure him that he’s perfect and the only big brother that you’d ever want bc he rlly needs that kind of validation

with his salary and savings, he tries to buy nice things for you

what a sweetheart 🥺

he saw you eyeing that one dress at a store window? fast forward abt a week and half and it’s inside a pretty gift bag for you

you wanted to try that dessert from the nice bakery? that’s dessert after dinner at one point

but other than buying you things, he sets money aside for you

like all the time

(y/n), here have this, you might need it”

“but nii-san you just gave me—”

“take it”

#1 spoiler

also your #1 confidant and source of physical affection

you tell him anything and everything (except crushies and those kinds of things)

atsushi loves it when you talk abt your day and he can see the big smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes

it gives him the strength to keep going 😖😖

the two of you aren’t as touch starved as you’d probably think, but that’s only bc the two of you had each other

in your opinion, no one can match the hugs of your big brother

and it got even better bc YAYY he has tiger arms now ٩(◕‿◕)۶

if you ask, he’d carry you around too hehe

you also get nightmares quite often so he’ll always be there ready to calm you down, talk if you need to, and rock you back to sleep

god i love him 🤧🤧

atsushi will do everything in his power to protect you and make sure you get to grow up happy, supported, and loved

port mafia attack? oop he’s already taking you to the nearest escape route

someone is starting to harass you? they just got suckered punched into the next week

you want to go out to have some fun? he’ll go ask the president for a day off

you’re not feeling well? he’ll take another day off and take care of you

whatever you want to do, he’ll do it with you! (as long as it’s within reason)

will always be your #1 supporter! and he’s the president of your fan club hehe

he loves you so so much and will do anything for you; your life and happiness will always be more important to him

you are his reason to keep going

agency head canons !!

atsushi is your big brother, but kunikida is most definitely some sort of father figure

everyone can see it

except kunikida of course

kunikida scolds you lightly if he thinks your manners need work or if you make a mess in the agency

you listen to him of course and in turn as some sort of a reward, he’ll give you pieces of stationary

he always gives you the nice, good quality kind and you’re over the moon

atsushi adores it when you come running to him showing your new notebook or fountain pen and blabbering what you’re going to do with it

sometimes it isn’t even as a reward for being a good child; he’ll just give it to you and he’ll say smth like “i noticed you’ve used up your last notebook quite quickly, so here’s another one” or “did you run out of ink? here have this then”

he usually has a soft spot for children in general, but he most definitely has a soft spot (or a thousand) for you

yosano is kind of like a motherly figure to you

she gives you the guidance a mother should and goes on shopping trips with you!

atsushi always gets dragged along by you, but he thinks it’s worth it seeing you look so happy

yosano being a doctor also tries to teach the things you should know, or things that would be helpful to you

she’ll teach you the basics of cooking, sewing, how to treat a cold/fever, etc

also gives you excellent advice 1000% of the time

“remember (y/n)-chan if someone hurts you come tell me and then i’ll chop them into—”

“yOSANO-SENSEI DONT TELL HER THAT—”

fukuzawa is like a father to most in the agency but you see him more as a grandfather figure

bi weekly tea and gossip sessions hehe

along with cat talk!

most of the time though, it’s just you talking and him listening to you, but the two of you enjoy it nonetheless

“and then kunikida-san ended up crashing into a pole and dazai-san started to laugh at him and i did too because it was really funny but we ended up getting scolded—”

“hmm i see...”

he’ll let you stay in his office as he fills out paperwork; you’re usually doodling or drawing in your notebooks

sometimes he’ll meditate and you’ll join him, but 4/7 times you’d fall asleep

you always wake up with a blanket over you

dazai is like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

frequently takes you out with him when he ditches work

walks in the park, eating at uzumaki so he has the excuse of treating you so he doesn’t have to pay his tab avoiding kunikida and sometimes chuuya and akutagawa, all that fun stuff

also tries to not talk abt suicide in front of you especially if it’s just the two of you alone

he knows that you mean the world to his pupil and that said pupil would probably hate him for putting suicide inside your brain

he teaches you random but useful things like how to pick a lock, how to steal kunikida’s notebook if you’re looking for some information, how to sweet talk your way out of things, etc.

is also the one to tell you that if you ever get a significant other to introduce them to the agency first

he always wants all of your gossip; some of them work pretty well for blackmail

“dazai-san! dazai-san! did you know that kunikida-san lost his glasses and he was looking for them for nearly an hour when he was just holding them the entire time??”

“woah really (y/n)-chan?! hey hey can you say it again into this recording device so kunikida-kun would believe me when i tell him—”

always ends up giving kunikida a heart attack when he says that you’ve been with him all day

ranpo is also like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

will share some of his snacks, but don’t push it or you might not get anything at all

loves it when you compliment him

if you tagged along with him and your brother on a case, he will show off to impress you

“...and that’s how the crime happened”

“UWAHH RANPO-SAN YOU’RE SO COOL”

atsushi is lowkey and kunikida is highkey stressed that ranpo’s eating habits will rub off on you

“ne (y/n)-chan do you wanna try this highly caffeinated drink and this concerning amount of sugar filled snack?”

“can i really?!”

“rANPO-SAN NO—”

ranpo definitely does stuff like that on purpose 

the tanizakis are like siblings to you!

a weird set of siblings but siblings nonetheless

the two of them adore you and think you’re precious

atsushi definitely knows how to do your hair whether it’s long or short but he got even better at it when he asked the two

hehe braid trains are definitely a thing + kyouka and kenji (and maybe even dazai)

sometimes you have sibling swap days

you’re with junichiro for most of the day and atsushi is with naomi

strange i know

each of the tanizaki siblings try to make it fun bc they know that the two of you did not at all have a happy upbringing

junichiro likes spending time with you by taking you out to different places that naomi likes to frequent

like the mall, different stores and restaurants, the park, places like those

naomi does the same thing with atsushi so if you ever bump into them, you go out and eat together :)

besides atsushi, the next one in line who spoils you the most would be junichiro (and yosano & kunikida both coming in at a close third)

he honestly can’t help it; you remind him of how naomi was when she was younger

and besides

he’s always been a sucker when it came to the happiness of a little sister

“would you really buy this for me junichiro-san?!”

“of course! don’t worry about it” :)

wanna talk abt boys/girls/celebrity crushes things like that? naomi is your girl

you feel a bit embarrassed to go talking to yosano or your brother abt that and kyouka does not know a thing abt them either

“uwahh naomi-san look at all these people in this magazine! they look so good!”

“right?! but of course onii-sama is still the best—”

you get along with kenji and kyouka quite nicely being roughly the same age as them; they’re also like siblings!

just pure, wholesome vibes from the three of you

you’re over the moon when she finds out that kyouka is staying with you and your brother

atsushi is twice as happy seeing you talk your mouth off and finally having a girl around your age to talk to

“do you think demon snow can change how she looks?”

“hmm... im not sure...”

you and kenji talk abt anything and everything

he even teaches you how to take care of plants!

sometimes the two of you are kind of in the same boat bc you don’t know much abt yokohoma being stuck in the orphanage and kenji doesn’t know much abt cities in general

“wait where are we again kenji-san?”

“ah we’re close to the ports! but im not really sure how close because i don’t know what the symbols on this sign mean”

“don’t worry! neither do i!”

bonus things!

yosano was kind of too late teaching you abt you know what

“NII-SAN IM BLEEDING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS”

you’re sobbing in the agency’s bathroom and atsushi is panicking trying to get you to open the door

“Y/N?! H-HOLD ON LET ME GET YOSANO SENSEI”

ranpo overhears and cackles making everyone around him confused

suddenly atsushi bursts in the agency basically on the verge of tears rambling incoherent sentences abt the bathroom, you, and blood

it just clicked for everybody in the room

(im going to pretend that kenji has sisters back home so that atsushi is the only one who remain oblivious here hehe)

atsushi is genuinely confused and sort of concerned that no one is freaking out with him

yosano waves her hand saying smth like that she’d take care of it and junichiro pulls atsushi to the side to talk to him

fast forward like half and hour and dazai and ranpo are cackling on the looks of both of your faces

honestly not sure who’s more traumatized, you or your brother

“why does this have to happen” :(

“ne ne (y/n)-chan!~ you’re too young but at some point you’re not going to have it!”

“uwahh really dazai-san?” :D

“yeah! but first you have to have ANFK—”

next thing you know your ears are being covered by your brother and dazai is thrown across the room by kunikida

you know

the normal

you’re twelve and have never gone to school, but the agency takes care of that

it’s too dangerous to go to school so they teach you what’s necessary and whatever else they can

kunikida takes care of math (obviously)

yosano takes care of science/biology/anatomy/health (whatever you wanna call it)

ranpo even dragged poe to help you with english

atsushi even got lucy to help you out with english too!

as tanizaki and naomi used to be students, they give you their old work books and they try to teach you all the other subjects

sometimes kyouka and kenji are there learing with you too!

sorry if there’s some errors! i’ll read through it again later :)

and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

#bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #bsd anime #bsd manga #nakajima atsushi x reader #atsushi x reader #nakajima atsushi #atsushi nakajima #x reader #x female reader #plantonic headcanons #armed detective agency #ada #armed detective agency x reader #ada x reader #kunikida x reader #dazai x reader #ranpo x reader #yosano x reader #fukuzawa x reader #kyouka x reader #kenji x reader #tanizaki x reader #fluff #headcanons #anime #bsd headcanons #bungou stray dogs head canons #bsd scenarios #bunogu stray dogs scenarios

[pixy-stix-art]

Idk if anyone else has asked, but I’d be like to see the first time naga!Tommy nommed Wilbur, if that’s alright?

Here’s the angsty naga noms I was talking about and completely forgot to actually write….sorry if you didn’t want something this angsty anon. But as I was writing I just kept adding warnings. Sorry not sorry.

This is part two to another story I wrote. This takes place like a month or two before the other one.

(Warnings: safe vore, mouth play, fearplay, swearing, talk of death, thinking one is going to die, talk of not safe vore, panic attack, minor injury)

———————————————————————

Willbur ran through the woods sweat dripping down his face. He looked back to see he was still being fallowed. He was, trees were being torn down behind him. He yelled as he almost his a tree when he looked forwards again. He stumbled into a clearing, his legs were going to give out he thought. He tried running through the clearing to get out of direct sight, but he wasn’t quick enough. A giant pale hand reached from him from the trees. He screamed only just dodging the clawed hand. He had to get out of here! He was so tired and he knew he was only being played with. He was almost tempted to just give up, but he know he would die if he did. He didn’t want to die. He screamed as yet another giant hand reached for him.

He had been trying to get to Tommy’s cave. A young naga he had meet a few weeks ago. He had first thought Tommy was going to kill him. But the red naga only seemed to want a friend. So he talked to the kid for a few hours and he was let go. He had gotten more curious and had gone back to find Tommy. He got lost and Tommy found him. He seemed surprised that Willbur had come back to see him. He spent the night in Tommy’s cave. He started to actually like the giant naga. So he kept coming back much to Tommy’s surprise. And today was supposed to be like any other meet up. But he had been found by another even bigger naga on his way there. This one was green and had made it very clear what he wanted to do with Willbur.

Willbur gasped for air as he was picked up in a tight fist. He struggled as much as he could. But it wasn’t going to do anything. He was going to die. He was pulled close to the green nagas mouth and screamed as a forked tongue slipped out to taste him.

“Mmhmm… very nice.” They naga smiled. “You taste even better then you smell.” The naga purred.

“N-no! Don’t eat me!” He got one arm free from the grip. He tried pushing the nagas face away from him. He only succeed in getting his arm licked more. “Let me go!” He screamed, his voice already sore.

“I don’t think I will little snack.” The naga smiled showing off all their sharp fangs in front of Willbur.

“N-no! The village will know I’m missing and come after you! W-with swords and hunters!” He yelled. “You can’t kill me!”

“You think some little humans scare me? Just more snacks to me.” He brought Willbur even closer to his mouth. So he could feel the hot humid breath wash over him.

“You can’t just-” Willbur was cut off as he was shoved half way into the nagas mouth. He yelled as he felt sharp teeth clamp down on his waist. He kicked his feet a little so scared to move much. Or he’d cut in half. He push trying to force open the mouth. His arm slipped on the slick surface, he cut his arm on a sharp fang. He long tongue instantly curled around the injury tasting his blood. He sobbed, pretty sure he was having a panic attack. He realized he’s not going home tonight. The wet tongue curled around him coating him in thick saliva. He had lost all his energy to fight back long ago. All he could do was lay limp as he was sucked on like he was a piece of candy.

“I caught it, it’s mine.” They green naga said.

“It was in my territory, so by the rules it’s mine to eat. Unless you want me to tell the grand counsel how you are disobeying the rules Dream.” Tommy said firmly.

Willbur froze hearing Tommy call him a it. And mention how he was going to eat him. His panic riddled mind couldn’t fully figure the rest of it out. Counsel? What was that? All he knew was that he now had two nagas wanting to eat him. One of which he thought had been a friend….

Willbur whimpered as apparently Dream, as the green naga was called, growled at being told to hand Willbur over.

“You won’t.” Dream said glaring at the younger.

“You know I will. And you know Phil will listen to me.” Tommy threaten. He looked a little smug about it too.

Dream squeezed Willbur in his fist making him scream. He could feel his already bruised ribs bending at the pressure. He thought he might pass out. Finally he was let go, dropped into a more familiar pair of hands. He curled up, too weak and scared to move. More gentle fingers curled up around him rubbing his back. He hated that he felt comfort from it. Tommy wasn’t going to keep him safe. Not anymore.

“Well?” Dream questioned.

“What?” Tommy growled. He wanted to keep Willbur close to comfort him, but he couldn’t with Dream still here.

“Are you going to eat it or what?” He glared. He wasn’t leaving till he saw the human taken care of.

“I- I like eating in private.” Tommy cursed his stuttering. This wasn’t the plan! Dream was supposed to leave.

“No. Eat it now, or I will.” Dream said with a growl.

“I-“ Tommy looked panicked looking down at Willbur. He didn’t look good…. Tommy couldn’t help but think he looked broken. In more ways then one. He could eat Willbur and keep him safe at the same time. But he hated to do that to the human. But he didn’t have another choice.

“Fine, I’ll eat hi- it now.” He sighed. He brought Willbur up to his mouth being as gentle as possible without it being noticeable. He placed Willbur in him mouth cringing at the taste of blood. He hope he wasn’t too injured.

“Tommy…?” He whimpered as he was out in yer another mouth. He hoped Tommy would feel at lest a little bad about eating him.

The tongue slid over his arm making him gasped in pain. Everything froze, going still as he held his arm close, crying at the pain. Then everything moved. Gravity shifted and he slid back to the back of the mouth. “No, no no no no no..” Willbur muttered. “No! Tommy don’t please! Don’t do this! Please I don’t want to die! Tommy!” He screamed as he was swallowed back.

Tommy felt his heart beak hearing Willbur scream for his life. He wished he could tell him he’d be ok. That Tommy was just keeping him safe. He glared at Dream in full anger. “Now leave.” He said voice cold and calm. To calm.

Dream seemed to understand he wasn’t welcomed and slithered out of sight. “I better not see you again Dream! I’ll kill you! If I see you again!” Tommy yelled after him. He sighed head foggy from rage. He gasped as he remembered he needed to check on Will. He placed his hands over where he felt the small human in his brooding pouch. He wasn’t even moving… Tommy’s began to panic. “W-Willbur? Are you ok?” He asked gently pressing down on him.

Willbur curled up tight in a ball not bothering to move from where he had fallen into the stomach. He huffed hearing Tommy ask if he was ok.

“No! I’m not alright you dickhead!” He screamed. He was confused angry and sad. He just stared yelling. “How dare you do this! I thought we were friends! You- you said you wouldn’t hurt me. That you’d keep me safe. Was all that a lie? We’re you just going to eat me this whole time?” He was sobbing by the end of his rant. Hot angry tears ran down his face.

“No, of course it wasn’t all a lie! We are friends Willbur. I promise you’re safe. I just had to eat you so Dream wouldn’t.” He wanted to cry hearing Willburs words. He really thought he was going to die.

“Oh? Then let me out of here if you’re not going to hurt me!” He challenged.

“I-I can’t. I’m so sorry I would, but you’re so injured I don’t want to hurt you worse by bringing you back up.” He started to head home. Back to the cave.

“That’s what I thought.” Willbur sighed. He struggled to move and get more comfortable. Though he was probably going to be really uncomfortable in a second….

“I promise that your safe. You’ll see, in the morning I’ll let you out. Promise.” Tommy said. And he will. Willbur might not even come see him again. But at lest the human world be alive. Willbur hating him, was better then Willbur being dead.

He didn’t have enough energy to think let alone do anymore yelling. His whole body hurt. He curled up with the small hope burning in his chest, that maybe Tommy was telling the truth. He’d just have to see in the morning. He drifted off to sleep not wanting to be awake if he died.

Tommy got back to his cave curling up in his nest. He curled his tail protectively around his middle. He felt Willbur get heavier as he fell asleep. He hoped he could explain more in the morning. He had finally found someone who actually seemed to want to hang around him. But of course Willbur would never want to see him again now. He quietly cried himself to sleep that night. He had lost his only friend.

#tw vore #safe vore #protection vore #tw blood #mcyt g/t #mcyt gt #naga!tommy #naga!dream #giant!tommy #giant!dream #tiny!wilbur #g/t #giant/tiny #tw panic attack #pixies writing #pixie writes #angst writing

[theoreticslut]

Sleepy Love Letters // f.w.

fred weasley x reader 

requested: yes

word count: 2.5k

warnings: none, fluff

A/N: oh good lord. I am literally so behind on requests of all kinds. I guess i’ve just really needed a break. I am (obviously) writing again, but I am taking it much slower than I had been and it’s truly just because I get burnt out and tired so much faster lately. This fic is from my 1.1k sleepover (i believe) which was back in feb, but I still have stuff from my end of the year party from late dec / early jan. Basically, at this point I’m working through things as I get the time and motivation for it. It’ll all just be mixed in. If you’re waiting for a fic, headcanon, blurb, letter, etc. just keep your eyes out for it on my blog OR you can always check the events and their respective tags under my navigation to find it. I am either working on it or getting my way to it. I promise. Thank you, seriously, to every single one of you that have sent requests in for misc. events or when I had my requests open - it means the WORLD to me and I am going to get to it. I just need the time. Anyways, that’s enough of my heartfelt blubbering. I hope you guys like this fic! Xx

A/N 2: I’ve had this saved in my drafts for weeks now and I’ve been dying to post it. I’m not really sure why I haven’t yet, but here it is!! I hope you like it just as much as I do!

“Y/n, how do you think you did?!” Fred asks as he catches up with you walking out of the great hall after your charms exam.

“Good. Didn’t think it was too hard at least.” You reply, stifling a yawn.

Fred notices and wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. The two of you have been friends for years and he knows you're exhausted even if you won’t admit it.

You’ve always spent hours upon hours studying for a test, often opting to stay up real late at night. He can’t even count how many times he and George have come back from detention or setting up a prank to find you passed out at one of the tables in the common room.

It only got worse when it was a final. Fred had found you not only passed out in the common room with a book open in front of you or on your lap, but he’d see you with a book shoved in your face as you ate or anytime you had some free time. He’d watch as you almost obsessively run through flash cards.

He adored how dedicated you were to getting good grades, but he often worried about what you were doing to yourself staying up way past the point of exhaustion or eating the bare minimum as you were too focused on the book in front of you. You weren’t taking care of yourself the way you should and it bothered him more than he’d like to admit.

“I’m sure you did more than just good, sweetheart. You excited that it was the last one?”

“Thrilled. I can’t wait to be able to spend the summer going to the lake and camping. You and George have any plans?”

“Not many as of yet. I’m sure George is going to try to find any excuse to see Angelina.”

You chuckle, nodding in agreement with the redhead. The two of you have only watched George and Angie dance the line between friends and dating for a year and a half now. They were closer than ever to being together, they just wouldn’t quite admit it to each other.

Walking into the common room you were glad to find it quiet. You’d hate to admit it out loud, but all you really wanted to do is go lay down and maybe sleep for a bit.

“Come hang out in my room?” Fred asked, nodding towards the stairs for the boys’ dorms.

He watches as a tired smile fills your face before you give him a small nod.

“Yeah, alright. You have any products you need testing?”

He chuckles, a loving smile on his face in response to your question. Even though you’re dragging your feet and look about ready to pass out, you’re still asking about him and his passion.

“Not today. Maybe later next week though.  I just like your company.”

“I like yours, Fred.” You giggle, following him up the stairs.

“Well obviously, princess. Who doesn’t love having me in their company?” He chuckles, opening the door to his dorm.

“Good Godric,” you roll your eyes. “I think you need to check that ego of yours.”

“You love my big ego though, yeah?”

You shake your head as a smile finds its place on your face. You can’t help but let out a yawn as you take a seat on his bed while he sits down at the desk, watching you get comfortable.

“It definitely makes you interesting, Freddie.”

He smiles, watching as you stretch out, slowly making yourself more comfortable.

“You alright, y/n?” He asks as you let out a soft groan as you curl up in your side.

“Yeah. I’m just really tired, Freddie. Haven’t slept much lately.” You mumble, eyes already closed lightly.

“I’m sure, princess. You just rest for a bit. I’ll make sure you’re up in time for dinner.”

“Thank you.”

He smiles, watching as you tuck one of his pillows under your head. He’s always found you adorable when you’re sleepy. The few times he’s caught you napping in ginny’s room at the burrow, or on the couch down in the common room while your friends all talk, he’s felt his heart melt.

Not wanting to be creepy, though, he turns his attention to a joke product he’s been working on, listening to the gentle breathes leaving your body as you fall asleep.

~.~

You’ve been asleep for about a half hour now and Fred can’t help but admire you. Every time a little groan leaves your lips as you adjust your position, he can’t stop a smile from growing on his lips.

That’s not even mentioning how adorable you look curled up on his bed. Your laying on your stomach, with one leg stretched out while the other is pulled up to your side as you hug a pillow under your head and towards your chest. Your hair is sprawled out over his blankets, afternoon light reflecting of the silky strands.

He watches as your torso slowly rises and falls with your steady breathes and your eyelids flutter with your dreams. He watches as you ever so gently situate yourself from time to time.

He is so enamored with you at the moment he can’t help but want to share his feelings with the world. He’s loved you for a few years now, but he’s never dared let on he does in case you didn’t feel the same. He can’t fathom losing you as a friend, so he never wanted to share something that might make the relationship awkward.

He’s never even told George how he feels about you. When he realized just how deeply he felt for you, he promised himself that he’d keep it quiet. For all you and George knew, Fred only thought of you as a good friend and nothing more. Sure you both knew that he cared for you and would do anything you ever asked him to, but you would never guess that Fred wanted to be able to call you his - that he wanted to be able to hold you and kiss you and shout to the world that he’s dating you.

Fred sighs happily as you continue sleeping, feeling his heart swell with love. Godric how you made him feel.

He doesn’t even realize what he’s doing until he’s written a few words.

Y/n, sweetheart -

Godric, I love you.

He feels the air get sucked out of his lungs as he reads over what he wrote. He couldn’t possibly have written that right?

Looking over at you cautiously to find you still fast asleep he sighs. He checks the time finding that dinner is still over an hour away. Maybe writing out his feelings wouldn’t be so bad? It’s not like anyone would be seeing them right?

~.~

You giggle as you shut the door on your two best friends as they stumble over each other up the stairs.

As soon as you three stepped off the train, Fred was asking you to come over for a few days, not wanting to part ways quite yet. Writing out his feelings did the exact opposite of what he was hoping. Instead of feeling relieved and getting them out of the forefront of his mind, writing out his love for you had only made him crazier for you.

It was insane how much he felt for you and he couldn’t imagine having you disappear on him so quickly. Hence why he asked you over and you’ve been at the burrow for about three days now.

It’s been amazing spending time with your two best friends without the stress or schedule of classes and tests.

Currently you were trying to escape their wrath for a harmless prank you pulled on them this morning which may have resulted in them both getting drenched in water.

“Y/n, sweetheart, can you let us in our room please? We really would like to change out of these wet clothes.” Fred asks sweetly, attempting to get you to show yourself to them.

“Not yet. You’re going to attack me soon as I do.”

“We won’t. Swear we won’t, right george?”

“Right, Fred. Just let us in.”

“I don’t trust you two.” You admit, trying to catch your breath as you back away from the locked door.

“Why not? We’ve never given you a reason not too.”

“You’re joking right? Must I remind you about your birthday?” You deadpan, taking a seat at their desk in an attempt to protect yourself. If they tried to attack you, you at least had an arsenal of pens and pencils.

“Alright, fair enough. We promise no tricks. Just unlock the door.”

“I really don’t want to. At least I’m safe right now.”

You hear a mix of chuckles and a groan as you curiously look over the contents of the desktop. You frown when you spot a folded piece of paper with your name on it.

Why would they have a paper addressed to you? And what would even be in it? It’s not like anyone has anything important enough to put in a letter for you. If they have something to say they just talk to you.

Without questioning it, you pick up the paper and start reading it.

Y/n, sweetheart -

Godric, I love you. I’ve loved you for ages now but I’ve been far too worried about ruining our friendship to tell you. The only reason I’m writing these words now is because I know no one but me will ever see this.

“Y/n? What’re you doing?” Fred questions through the door when you get too quiet.

I can’t imagine a life without you, y/n. You’ve been the best part of mine since I met you on the train in our first year. The way you’re so unbelievably kind and fun to be around is just one of the many things I adore about you. I could write you a list, but it’d get to be quite long.

Merlin, I wish I could tell you how I feel. I want to scream it to the world I swear. I want to be able to hold you, and kiss you, whenever and wherever. I want to go on hogsmeade trips with you and buy you a butterbeer and be one of those couple’s you’re always fawning over. I want to get you gifts just because I want to see you smile.

You can hear the door click as one of them unlocks it, but you pay no attention to it.

I want to be the one you talk to about anything and everything. I want to be the one to comfort you. I want to be the one to make you smile. I want to fall asleep and wake up beside you each day. I just want you. I’ve wanted you since the middle of second year, but I’m sure you don’t feel the same. I just needed to get this all off my chest.

I love you and I hope you can tell even though we’re friends. I love you, y/n. So much.

“Shit, princess. Y-you weren’t supposed to read that.” Fred sighs from behind you.

You jump slightly at his proximity, not expecting him to be right behind you.

You look up at him as he paces across the room, looking over to George before back at Fred. You frown as you watch him tug at his hair.

“Freddie?”

“Hmm?” He acknowledges, still pacing.

“Will you please look at me?”

“What’s even got you like this? What could you have written that’s so bad?” George questions, walking to the desk as you walk over to Fred.

You watch as Fred chews on his lip as you stand in front of him. You see the anxiousness in his eyes and you’ve never once been more reminded of a scared puppy as much as you are now. Fred looks absolutely terrified, only further proven by how he’s shaking slightly.

“Fred, do you really feel that way? Do you love me?”

“I, uhm, yeah...I-I do.”

You smile, pushing back some of his hair that’s stuck to his forehead from being drenched as you wrap your arms around his neck in a hug.

“You should have told me ages ago. I’ve loved you since second year, too, you goof.” You giggle, kissing his cheek before burying your face in his neck.

“What?”

You pull back to look at him, finding him sporting a look of utter confusion as he stares at you, mouth open.

“What?” You chuckle, cocking a brow at him as you smile lightly.

“Y-you like me too? Like you actually like me? More than as a friend?”

You hear George chuckle to the side of you, drawing both of your guys’ attention.

“Godric, Fred. Never would have pegged you as a sap.” He snorts.

“Be nice, George. Believe it or not, it’s actually really sweet. Write a love letter to Angie and see how quickly she swoons.”

Fred chuckles at your repose while George scoffs, although there’s no hiding the blush that spreads across his cheeks.

You watch as George grabs some dry clothes before leaving the two of you to yourselves.

“So you actually like me too?”

“Of course I do, Freddie. Haven’t you ever noticed how much the girls would tease me when you were around? They were teasing me about you.”

“Bloody hell. They’ve done that for years! I thought it was just how they were.”

“I mean, it is, but they tend to get a bit more obnoxious about it when you’re around.”

“So you really like me too?”

“Yes, Freddie. I like you too. I just need to ask, when did you write that?”

He chuckles, rubbing at the back of his neck as he gives you a half smile.

“After our charms final....you took a nap in our dorm, remember?”

“Mhm. Your bed was really comfy.” You giggle, a blush rising to Fred’s cheeks.

“You looked really cute sleeping in my bed and I, well, I may have gotten a little overwhelmed with emotions.”

You smile, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips.

“Godric you’re adorable, Fred.”

“Not as adorable as you, princess.”

“I beg to differ.” You giggle, smiling as he brings you into another kiss, tightly wrapping his arms around your waist.

When you pull away you press your foreheads together, smiling.

“So, do you think you could write that list about the things you adore about me?”

He can’t help the chuckle that leaves his chest as you smile adoringly at him.

“I’ll get right on it, love. Right after I change out of these clothes since someone decided it’d be fun to prank the pranksters this morning.”

You giggle, pressing one last kiss to his jaw before you leave him to let him change clothes.

“I’m glad I found your letter, Fred.”

“I am too, y/n. I love you.”

“I love you too, Freddie.” You smile as you close his bedroom door. Who would have guessed that Fred Weasley would declare his feelings for you in a love letter? One things for sure though, you’re saving that paper and cherishing it the rest of your life.

———————————————————————

Taglist:

general taglist - @accioalix @captaincactusjuice @inglourious-imagines @keepawaythenargles @lemongrasshoney @onyourgoddamleft @valiantobservationkitty @concepcion @eternallyvenus @fandomwhoress @fleurho @fredweasleyzwh0re @harleigh110 @hufflepuffflowers-blog @hufflrpuffforfred @i-miei-amori @littlemisswitt @sammy-the-gay @sightiff @starstruckgranger @teenwolfbitches2 @watermelonsugar2810 @harrypotterwifey @your-hispanicehufflepuff @yikeyikesyikes95 @darthwheezely @callmelilone @teawiththeweasleys @softlyqoos @justmesadgirl @xuckduck @filipi-yes @aestheticwh0r3 @siredkai @matsuno-nadeshiko @msmarklee1213 @immajustreadwritereblog @msmimimerton @perfectlysane24 @mischievous-queen @bunnyboo7 @grandeoptimist @daddystevee @slytherinxhunter @streetfighterrichie @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @isthereanymorejello @p0gue420 @hogwartslut @sebby-staan @fredshmeasley @weasleysbitch2 @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts @roonilwazlibswhore @i-love-scott-mccall

#harry potter #harry potter imagine #hp imagine #hp fluff #fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley fluff #theweasleyslut's 1.1k sleepover

[foreverfallingforthestars]

Met Him Last Night

I literally speed wrote this in an hour so I'm sorry if this is a mess lmaooo but hopefully this will be continued, we'll see :D If anyone wants to be tagged in upcoming updates to this, please let me know! Just be warned, this first chapter does have (not very specific) details of a panic attack!

Title is from Demi Lovato's Met Him Last Night

Word Count: 2181 Read on AO3 Rowaelin Month Masterlist

Day 17 of Rowaelin Month Prompt: Bodyguard AU

~~~~~

Aelin was just about ready to murder someone, and that someone would most definitely be her cousin.

“Aelin, I’m serious, you need protection.”

She growled as she slammed her palms down on the dining table, loudly, as she stood up. “And I’m serious when I say that I need sleep. This stupid bodyguard business can wait two days for me to hibernate.”

Aedion also stood up, mirroring her stance as he leaned in closer to her. “Your life is in literal danger, Aelin. I hope you understand what that means.”

“It was one instance!” she insisted, pushing herself away from the table and moving to the kitchen to put her empty dinner plate into the sink. She was so exhausted from all the travel she’d done in the last few days that all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep — dishes be damned.

“One instance of the guy mailing you pictures of you from the hotel and on the sidewalk,” he responded, moving beside her. He was following her on purpose to make sure she couldn’t escape him, and Aelin was pissed off that he knew her so well to do that. “He’s been sending you those weird as hell letters for years.”

“It’s not exactly a trade secret which hotels I stay in when I’m going on book tours, Aedion. You know that.”

“If you stopped posting Instagram pictures with the hotel in the background, then it would be more of a secret considering that you are a public figure now. Besides, it’s only going to get worse now that Crescent City season 1 press shoots start soon. Your face will be more famous than just in the book world, Aelin. People will see articles of the author behind the next biggest fantasy show on television. Things are already bad, and we shouldn’t let it get past that.”

“Okay, fine, but why can’t we talk about this later? My body clock thinks it’s the middle of the freaking night, and I haven’t slept in fifteen hours. Please get out of my face so I can sleep.”

“Aelin, if you don’t take this seriously, I’m going to do it for you.”

“Oh dear cousin, owner of a security company, please do. I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with it, especially now that I’m going to be much busier.”

“You’re so annoying,” he grumbled as he stalked towards the door.

“Love you too!” she called after him, finally, finally, heading towards her bedroom. Fleetfoot trotted after her happily, and Aelin snorted as her dog’s wet snout kept bumping into her bare calves. The dog was way too excited to see her after two long months away from home with Aelin travelling all over the world for the release of her latest book. It wasn’t like she could deny the fact that she had missed her dear, sweet dog so much as well, so when Aelin flopped down onto her soft bed for the first time in months, she let Fleetfoot join her.

Fleetfoot circled the same spot three times before curling up against Aelin, her tail slowly thumping against the mattress as Aelin got comfortable as well. The feeling of warmth from her dog and the happiness from being in her own bed after so long had Aelin falling asleep faster than she normally did, and she was just about entirely asleep when she barely heard the click of her front door opening.

Figuring it was Aedion, she just tried to drown out the sound, not having the willpower nor the strength to move. He could let himself out after taking whatever he had probably forgotten at her place, and Aelin would be happily dozing for the next several hours.

Until a crash broke the haze Aelin was in, and her eyes shot open. Heart pounding in her chest, she looked at Fleetfoot who was staring at the closed door with alarm as well.

Aelin was confused. Aedion was careful to not drop ceramic or glass objects within the house, knowing how much her mother would always be on the two of them growing up to be careful with such things, and it didn’t help that she was still half asleep. Nothing made sense to her.

Slowly getting out of bed, she winced as she stood up entirely, her feet aching after days of standing in heels. Aelin walked over to the bedroom door and creaked it open, and she scanned the immediate vicinity for Aedion, trying to see if he was anywhere near the living room or corridor. When she didn’t see him, she creeped out of her room, trying to be quiet but the sluggishness had already taken over body as she stumbled into the wall a few times. Fleetfoot was at her tail, but Aelin forced her to stay before turning the corner into the living room. If there was glass on the ground, she didn’t want it getting in her dog’s paws.

Once Aelin turned the corner, she immediately stopped, finding the scene in front of her unwelcome and incredibly jarring.

There was a man standing in her room, one that didn’t have the same blond hair she did, and the broken object was a picture frame, the shards of glass littered about on the ground as he gripped a photo of her and Fleetfoot.

Aelin swallowed slowly, the saliva getting stuck in her throat as her mouth went dry, as she realized that a man had broken into her home.

As quietly as she could, she placed a hand over her mouth, trying not to breathe too loudly as she quickly made her way back into her bedroom, herding Fleetfoot with her, and she locked the door to the bedroom. Wildly glancing around, she took the chair from her vanity and jammed it under the door knob so the door wouldn’t open.

“What do I do,” she whispered, scared of her mind as she sat down on her bed. She was shaking, that much was sure as Fleetfoot tried to lick her hands and face in an attempt to calm her down. How was Aelin supposed to calm down when there was someone in her house?

Realizing that Aedion must’ve not gotten far, she lunged for her phone on the bed and dialed Aedion’s number.

“Weren’t you supposed to be asleep?” was his greeting, but all she could get out at first was a shuddering gasp.

“Aedion,” she whispered.

“Aelin? Are you okay?” he asked, his voice immediately alert.

“There’s someone in my apartment.”

“What?!”

“Hurry, please,” she cried, trying to muffle her voice to make it seem that she wasn’t at home. She didn’t know if the man had known that she was in the apartment, but she didn’t want him to find out.

“Aelin, listen to me, you’ll be fine. I’m almost there. Are you still in your room?”

“I, uh, I’m in my bedroom with Fleetfoot. I went out when there was a crash, and then ran back to my room,” she managed to get out. “I locked the door and jammed a chair underneath.”

“Go into the bathroom and lock that door too,” he urged, and she got up to move to the bathroom. “If he manages to get your room door unlocked, then at least you have some more time. I’m almost there, but you need to call 911, too.”

“Aedion, I can’t—” Aelin gasped out, leaning against the bathroom counter after locking the door behind her and her dog. Her breaths were coming in faster, and there wasn’t anything she could do to control the way her eyesight was beginning to blur. “I can’t let him know I’m in here.”

“He won’t find out,” he urged.

“But Aedion,” she cried, “the plates in the sink. He’ll see them, and he’ll know I was home. He’ll know I’m here.” The pounding in her chest had gotten louder than what Aedion was saying, and all she could do was sob into her hands. She wasn’t safe anymore outside, but now she wasn’t safe in her own room.

“Aelin! Aelin, it’s okay, I’m here.”

The next thing Aelin heard were shouts and yells before it got all quiet. She clambered up to her feet, throwing the door to the bathroom open before trying to get the chair back out, but it wouldn’t budge. It was stuck, and her limbs weren’t cooperating. There wasn’t anything she could do, and she tugged at the chair with a cry.

“Come on,” she cried, tugging at it more before it finally came free, clattering to the ground. Unlocking the door, she took a few unsteady steps before Aedion came into view, the man lying on the ground unconscious. Aelin lost all control of her body, and she fell into Aedion’s arm as he ran for her, and that was the last thing she saw before blackness encompassed her.

~~~

When Aelin awoke several hours later, it was to the commotion coming from downstairs. At first, she blinked a few times, trying to readjust to where she was because it wasn’t the drab hotel room view she’d gotten accustomed to, and once her brain was awake enough to process that she was in Aedion and Lysandra’s spare bedroom, she got out of bed and padded over to the bathroom to brush her teeth and her hair. If she was going to show her face after a major panic attack that caused her to faint for a few minutes, she should at least look decent.

Fleetfoot was, thankfully, also with her in the room, and Aelin sat on the ground for a few minutes just to hug her dog before getting up and going to the living room.

As soon as she made her entrance, everyone went silent, the only sound was Fleetfoot’s paws as she went straight for Lysandra to nose at her for treats.

“Okay,” Aelin swallowed. “I get it. I need a bodyguard, but at least that guy was arrested,” she continued, hopefully. Aedion beckoned her to sit next to him, and it was then that she realized that besides her cousin and his wife, Elide was also there and a man that she’d never met before. He was striking, to say the least. Silver hair with a sharp jawline and beautifully green eyes. His short-sleeved shirt also showed off swirls of tattoo creeping up his bicep, and Aelin had to say that she was intrigued by who this man was.

“Look,” her cousin started, directing her attention back to him. His face showed concern, and she was suddenly worried that this entire ordeal might not be over. “That man wasn’t the same one who stalked you. He was just a burglar trying to score after noticing that no one had been going in or out of the apartment for a while. It just helped that the security guard downstairs is of no use, so he broke in.”

Aelin was having a hard time processing all this information being thrown at her. “So you’re telling me that it was just...unlucky?”

“I have been telling you to move,” he unhelpfully added, and she let him know exactly that.

“Anyway, we’ve come up with a solution,” Elide butt in. “Aelin, meet Rowan Whitethorn. He works in Aedion’s company. He was working for a different client for a few years, but they switched companies, so he’s now free to protect you.”

“Hey,” she greeted without any of her previous enthusiasm.

“Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Galanthynius,” Rowan responded, and she noticed the slight accent to his words.

“Doranelle?” she asked, and he nodded.

“I will be protecting you from now on, uh, in a close manner.”

Aelin slightly jerked in her spot at his shy demeanor over his words, and the way he said it caught her attention.

“What do you mean?” No one answered her at first, peaking her anxiety again. “Aedion?” she asked, looking to him for an explanation.

“Since it’s also not safe for you to be at home alone, we’re going to have Rowan pretend to be your boyfriend.”

~~~

Aelin stepped out of the car, hand placed in Rowan’s as he led her into the paparazzi filled lot that led to the building where the final press shoots and poster shoots would be taking place for her show. It was still absolutely insane that someone she had written was actually going to be a TV show for the whole world to see, but another absolutely insane thing was the fact that she was pressed up against Rowan’s hard body, trying to pretend to be absolutely in love with him.

“Who is this man?” she heard one of the journalists ask, and she wanted to say that she didn’t exactly know either considering she had just met him last night, but this was the perfect opportunity for the world to know that she had a boyfriend.

Technically.

Smiling, she pulled Rowan to a stop as she turned to the vague direction from where she heard the voice. “This is my boyfriend.”

#bodyguard au #rowaelin #throne of glass #aelin galythinius #rowan whitethorn #rowaelinmonth #day 17