#and about 6 to 7 art museums

[incorrectbatfam]

Tim and stpeh’s top ten patrol fails

——— (10) ———

Tim and Steph: *chained together*

Two-Face: *monologues*

Tim: *picks the lock*

Steph, whispering: Free me first.

Tim: Why?

Steph: Just do it.

Tim: *frees her*

Steph: *sprints past Two-Face to the bathroom*

——— (9) ———

Steph: I'm closing in on the museum. Where are you?

Tim: ETA one minute.

Steph: Alright, I'm doing a quick perimeter check. Doesn't seem like there's much happening here.

Tim: Where are you? I don't see you. And this entire gallery looks deserted.

Steph: I've never heard anyone call a science museum a gallery.

Tim: Science? I'm at the modern art museum.

Steph: Red?

Tim: Yeah?

Steph: We're both at the wrong place, aren't we?

——— (8) ———

Tim and Steph: *tied to chairs*

Ivy: I gave the city ONE REASONABLE DEMAND and they—

Steph: *scoots her chair*

Ivy: —but all they cared about was—

Steph: *scoots her chair*

Ivy: So now I'm going to make them pay for—what are you doing?

Steph, biting an apple: ...

Tim: She gets snacky.

——— (7) ———

[on a stakeout]

Tim, stifling a yawn: What time is it?

Steph: Half past one. Still nothing on the drop site. If you need some shut eye you can tell me.

Tim: Nah, I'll just use my phone.

Steph: *peers over his shoulder*

Steph: You're reading an adopted by Batman AU?

Tim: ...I was hacked. Just right now.

——— (6) ———

Steph: I could use a little backup.

Tim, shooting his grapple: I'm on my way. How many are there?

Steph: Four, though I bet more are hiding.

Tim: In that case, we better get you out of there instead of wasting time.

Tim: *swings by*

Tim: Grab on.

Steph: *grabs his legs and pulls his pants down*

——— (5) ———

Tim: What should I call my next contingency plan?

Steph: Fuck if I know.

[later]

Barbara: Alright, Tim, let's review your plan for...

Barbara: *squints*

Barbara: Everybody leave. I want to talk to Tim alone.

——— (4) ———

Tim: I'm not so sure about my disguise.

Steph, dressed like the 1980s: It's an 80s-themed roller derby. No way you can mess that up.

Tim: *shows up dressed like the 1880s*

Steph: I stand corrected.

——— (3) ———

Steph: You need to put that computer down. Have a Batburger.

Tim: No. I've almost got it. And don't try to distract me 'cause I've seen everything.

Steph, whispering under her breath: You haven't seen Superboy.

Kon: You called?

Tim: Oh for crying out loud.

——— (2) ———

Tim: *driving the Batmobile*

Steph: Hey, what does this button do?

Tim: NO DON'T THAT—

Steph: *hits the button*

Tim: *gets ejected*

——— (1) ———

Steph: Another successful patrol, if I say so myself.

Tim: All in a night's work.

Bruce: Where's Damian?

Tim: Huh?

Bruce: You were supposed to watch him.

Steph: Pfft, we knew that. He's right... uh...

Tim: We're just gonna—

Tim and Steph: *hop in the car and speed away*

——— (Honorable mention) ———

Steph: No sign of Robin at the dog shelter either. Did you locate his tracker?

Tim: It's offline. Best case scenario he just disabled it, but...

Steph: Oh God, we are in so much trouble.

Tim: Any other ideas?

Steph: Nope. I'm gonna get a drink of water real quick.

Steph: *goes into a store*

Steph: *comes back out with Damian*

Steph: Guess who I found trying to buy a butterfly knife?

Tim: I'll update Batman.

Tim, on the phone: Hey B, guess what?

Damian: *snatches the phone*

Damian: They abandoned me in Crime Alley!

Bruce: Red Robin, Spoiler, you're cleaning the lockers when you get back.

Tim: No wait—

Damian: *hangs up*

#tim drake #red robin #stephanie brown #spoiler #bruce wayne #batman #damian wayne #robin #barbara gordon #oracle #conner kent #superboy #two face #poison ivy #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batgirls #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #young justice #timsteph #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #headcanon #long post

[theambitiouswoman]

Ways to Add Luxury to Your Life

1. Stop saying “you can’t afford it”

2. Walk through or stop for a drink at a luxurious hotel

3. Create your own luxurious evening routine

4. Create your own luxurious morning routine

5. Schedule in something fancy

6. Wear your favorite handbag and shoes

7. Find your signature scent

8. Do your hair and make up

9. Shop your wardrobe

10. Choose your top 3 must do things everything

11. Cook from scratch

12. Drink champagne

13. Buy silk linens for your bed

14. Celebrate your wins

15. Personalized stationary

16. Visit museums and art galleries

17. Shop at farmers markets

18. Eat organic and fresh foods

19. Go on hikes

20. Play uplifting music

21. Plant a vegetable garden

22. Use lavender pouches in your drawers

23. Exercise daily

24. Only drink quality tea and coffee

25. Wear pretty/silk lingerie and cute lounge wear

26. Have a creative hobby

27. Visit the spa and get facials regularly

28. Buy fresh flowers

29. Use quality skincare and makeup

30. Take hot baths

31. Buy essential oils

32. Treat yourself

33. Add lemon to your water

34. Go to a high end gym or Lounge

35. Read a book before bed

36. Stop saving your nice things for later. Use them now

37. Use an exfoliator for your body

38. Stretching and yoga

39. Go to an artisan cafe for fresh croissants

40. Make your own dressings for your foods

41. Clean your house and your car

42. Take a detox shot in the morning

43. Treat yourself to a professional blow dry

44. Nails always done

45. Bake fresh cookies

46. Watch a classic and elegant film like Breakfast at Tiffany’s

47. Have a full feminine luxurious shower routine

48. Clean your makeup brushes and arrange them like a beauty counter for the next time you use them

49. Learn about art and wines

50. Decorate your home like a 5 star hotel

51. Use a pillow spray

52. Host a dinner party

53. If possible, hire a chef or cleaner to help you

[prettylambgirl]

My rules for 2024:

Dieting and health: Any weight above 55kg is unacceptable and I will not be living like this anymore

1. The 1200 calories a day is the maximum amount you should ever ingest, aim for 1000 calories. Never restrict too much, however, you have to study and function well in university.

2. The only drinks you are allowed are black coffee, unsweetened tea and diet coke. A plain latte is only allowed on a date or when hanging out with your friends. This should never be done more than twice a week.

3. Take your multivitamins in order to function well and treat your muscular problems.

4. Stretching is to be done every morning, for at least 10 minutes. It is not much, but it helps. You should walk everywhere, however, never let anyone convince you to take the bus when the destination is at a less than 20 minutes of walking distance. Aim for at least 5000 steps a day.

5. Drink 2l of water a day. Being hydrated is especially important for your skin and body.

6. Eat strategically. Only eat before class, before studying, only when you need the energy food provides. Never waste that energy when it's not necessary.

7. Never order fast food again. Learn how to resist the urge to say yes when it's being proposed. Your roommate is skinny, you are not. She can have it, you cannot.

8. You can indulge in some unhealthy things that bring you joy. Your nicotine addiction is manageable - try to replace cigarettes with vape liquid, it is less pricey and makes your room smell better. Slowly decrease the nicotine concentration until you are ready to completely drop it. The occasional wine is accepted, but count the calories in it and don't overindulge. Never are you to be seen in public smoking or drunk, however. Always keep these flaws secret.

Studying: Medical school is hard and demanding, but it is possible to get through it.

1. Any mark under an 8 is deemed unacceptable and you should strive for the better.

2. You know yourself well. Stop trying to mimic the way other people study, use the method you know has worked for you since the beginning. You are smart and capable.

3. Stick to your schedule religiously. Study every single day except for Saturdays. Every subject is to be revised and valued equally.

4. Start studying for examinations one week before it takes place. Strive for the best marks. Complete projects as soon as they are announced.

5. Always take notes, answer questions and be attentive during class. The people who judge you for this are jealous of your intelligence. Never shut up ever again.

6. Volunteering is essential: it gives you bonus points for future Erasmus projects. Therefore, you should attend such events once a month. Do not prioritize it over your studies, however.

Hobbies: You must have a personality and be cultured, besides being smart. Never let anyone see you as boring.

1. Reading is your favorite activity - aim to read 20 pages a day. Read 40 pages in the weekends. Read fashion magazines as well, in order to stay inspired.

2. Writing - on the weekends, try to write something: an article, a poem, some prose, a blogpost, anything you like. Never let that passion fade away.

3. Limit TV shows to 40 minutes per day, watch a movie on the weekend.

4. Go out to see the opera, a museum or an art exposition every month.

5. Stay up to date with the news in the industries that matter to you!!

Personality and Social Life: Things are going great, but they can be improved.

1. Always keep your cool. Never are you to rage in public ever again. People respect you, don't mess this up. You must always wear a confident smile, never show your weak side in public.

2. Be friendly and helpful. Always say hi when walking past someone you know and engage in conversations with your colleagues. However, you are not to overshare with people you do not know well. Keep the conversations going about themselves, not yourself, unless asked about.

3. Help people out whenever you are directly asked for. However, do not overdo it. Put yourself first.

4. Do not talk ill about anyone unless it's with your close friends or significant other. This can be used against you anytime.

5. Never seem too available. Only hang out if your schedule allows you to. Never fall into the trap of "study gatherings" as you know well you function better individually.

6. Keep in touch with your close ones daily. Ask about their day, show them that you care.

7. Hangouts must be limited to twice a week. You must only hang out with your boyfriend once a week. It hurts, but it keeps you both focused on your work.

8. Don't PDA at university, please. This has to stop once and for all. Limit it to hand holding and sitting together at less important courses. Do not show people how needy you are.

9. People who lack certain morals and are not compatible with you from this point of view should not be part of your life. Their negative energy impacts you a lot. Only speak to them if directly approached.

10. Don't be late, it's unacceptable. You must be present 10 minutes before the start of an event.

11. Never are you to be seen in nightclubs or places that may damage your reputation. If it doesn't characterize you to be in that place, stay home. Do not fear missing out on anything, you already saw enough.

12. Use social media for only 30 minutes daily.

Looks: Being put together is the key to success. It teaches you discipline.

1. Skincare must be done twice a day, morning and night. Keep it simple but consistent, as your skin is not compatible to harsh chemicals. Apply perfume and body sprays.

2. Makeup should be kept to a minimum, unless it's a special occasion: eyeliner, mascara, eyebrow gel, lip liner and lip gloss is the perfect recipe.

3. Your hair must be lustrous and well kept. Wear it down most of the time. Do a cute hairstyle once a week.

4. You must always be dressed up for the occasion: always wear preppy academic outfits to university, something more playful and fun when you go out, your lounge wear and pajamas should still be cute. Even if nobody sees you, you still can see yourself.

5. Buy some new clothes every month. Change it up, do not seem repetitive with your outfits.

6. Your clothes must always smell good, be meticulously ironed and fresh.

7. Never are you to wear the same outfit again in a week. People notice and you must not seem lazy.

8. You have to take care of yourself every week: shave, paint your nails and toenails, exfoliate, apply a face mask, wash your hair.

9. Shower every other day instead of every day as your skin dries out. After every shower, use lotions for your body. You must always smell like a cake.

#ed not ed sheeran #tw ana diary #an0r3c1a #anorexcya #@nor3×14 #@na vent #@na trigger #@n0r3xia #@na tips #pr04ana #pr0ana diet #pr0annna #pr04nn4 #pr0anna #ed not sheeren #tw ed diet #disordered eating thoughts #tw disordered eating

[devildomwriter]

Satan Birthday Special 100 Fun Facts

1. Satan was born from a combination of Lucifer’s intense wrath and him tearing off his wings, this gave Satan flesh for a body

2. Physically, Satan is the youngest but he is ranked fourth as he is fourth strongest of the seven brothers

3. Satan often fears he is nothing but a lesser copy of Lucifer

4. Satan’s wrath was so out of control after his birth his brothers did anything they could to stop his rages, including tying him in chains and stuffing him in a locker, knocking him out, or holding him underwater until he passed out

5. When Satan discovered cats he burst into Levi’s room demanding to know more about this

6. Satan believes Leviathan is mature in the way he focuses on other people’s opinions

7. Satan has always been a demon and accepting wrath as part of who he was so he did not struggle with his sin like his brothers did

8. Satan treasures the first things his brothers ever gave him

9. Satan’s tail is spiky and you can be injured touching it if you aren’t careful

10. Satan gets angriest over petty inconveniences

11. Simeon believes that Satan always only wearing one sleeve of his jackets is his way of rebelling

12. Satan has a tendency to overthink things

13. Satan does his best to avoid arguing with his brothers even when they annoy him

14. Satan is compared to a cat by his brothers due to his tendency to show up in completely random places when you least expect

15. Satan has connections in almost every industry as he’s easily able to socialize and make friends

16. Satan claims his books are organized in a way he understands

17. Once Satan’s books collapsed on him and he stayed there for several days relaxing

18. Satan enjoys the fine arts and likes going to art museums

19. Satan enjoys theatre and the opera

20. Satan easily gets his hands on rare and cursed objects to the point it impresses Lucifer

21. Satan has successfully cursed Lucifer several times. The worst of them being when he transferred his pain from Solomon’s cooking to Lucifer.

22. Satan originally looks down on manga but changes his mind after reading a bunch of manga Levi switched out in his room as a prank

23. Satan loves watching dramas and mysteries, especially Mid-Fall Murders

24. Due to watching crime shows regularly Satan believed that when dining in the human world you tell the waitress you’d like “the usual” and they’ll know what you mean

25. Although originally Satan complains he’s never beat Diavolo in chess, it’s implied he finally beats him in season 3

26. Satan has a major inferiority complex when it comes to Lucifer which causes him to often doubt himself

27. Satan is subscribed to Monthly Devil Architect’s Digest

28. Satan was once cursed to see everything as cats, he wasn’t the least bit bothered

29. Satan gifted Lucifer a scarf that was cursed to grow eternally

30. Satan doesn’t seem to realize how terrifying his anger is when he is visibly confused as to why his brothers are hiding

31. Satan has hoarded cats in the past and is no longer allowed to have any

32. Satan feeds a local cat he has named Sir Cat

33. Satan gives MC instructions on feeding many of the cats who come by serenity manor

34. When attempting to turn Simeon’s cafe into a cat cafe he “borrowed” a bunch of cats from witches. He was distressed when they were all returned to their owners.

35. Satan once fell asleep with a cat in public and ended up covered in Hell Zakura petals. Solomon thought it was cute.

36. Satan cursed a pizza deliverer for putting pineapple on their pizza

37. Satan desires to be on the receiving end of a loving headbutt by a cat in full force

38. Satan checks cat blogs before he goes to bed as they give him energy for the next day

39. Satan has to be told to stop using cat stickies as he puts them everywhere

40. Satan covered his and Belphegor’s laptops in cat stickers

41. Satan enjoys classical music, symphonies, and Ska music

42. Satan prefers food chunkier than smooth because it has more bite to it

43. Satan enjoys the bitterness of Dark chocolate

44. Satan has said his type is someone he can have a mutual understanding with when it comes to anger

45. Satan has had things thrown at his head multiple times in the game, some of these items include a pillow, a piece of trash, and a pile of pancakes

46. Satan hates baby talk, more specifically when Asmodeus uses it

47. Satan has inherited some of Lucifer’s memories and emotions

48. When Satan was cursed to stay close to Lucifer he would just stare and growl at Lucifer from the corner of the room

49. Satan’s antagonistic behavior towards Lucifer is somewhat compulsive as even he wishes he didn’t dedicate so much time to Lucifer but cannot stop himself

50. Satan let’s Belphegor sleep on his lap even though it annoys him

51. Satan learned how to read ancient human text from Solomon

52. Satan considers Mephistopheles an ally since they both dislike Lucifer

53. In a love survey on B’s Log Satan says he wants to “bind and monopolize” his lover and is the active one pursuing love

54. Satan cherishes relationship anniversaries and special dates of remembrance

55. In a relationship with obstacles, Satan chooses to face the difficulties with passion

56. When it comes to a lover, Satan said he would get jealous easily

57. Satan originally did not understand humans and assumed they’d all be fine receiving expensive items and gems as gifts and was angry when MC did not

58. Satan has ranked his favorite cat positions as stalk-straight tail, slow blink, making biscuits, head butting, and bellyflops

59. Satan secretly dislikes Green Peas

60. Satan is annoyed by the RAD Newpsaper Club account and has the notifications for it turned off

61. Satan says he tends to sleep on his stomach to avoid being hit in the face when his books randomly come avalanching down on him

62. Satan starts all his baths by washing his left arm

63. Satan’s daily activity is petting a cat

64. Satan’s dream is to have a cat

65. On sleepless nights, Satan calls MC because he finds their voice soothing

66. Satan’s motto is “Wisdom is the treasure of all generations.”

67. Satan’s rage emits so much energy it’s too much for humans to handle and can shake buildings and break things without getting near them

68. Satan sends cursed chain mail to Lucifer daily

69. When Mammon could only speak cat, Satan was called to help and he spent the day happily playing with cat toys with Mammon

70. Satan became enraged with Raphael when he was compared to Lucifer

71. Satan is very knowledgeable when it comes to the constellations and the specific stars among them

72. Satan believes Easter is the perfect excuse to throw eggs at Lucifer

73. Satan looks forward to fall as he believes it’s the best season for reading

74. Satan has trouble eating something if it looks like a cat

75. Satan always has a bag of cat treats with him wherever he goes

76. Satan seems to remember exactly where he left off in a book when he falls asleep reading. In an interview with B’s Log he says “Yesterday I was in the mood for The Complete Book of Cat's Paws, but I fell asleep on the Havana Brown page, around line no. 27.”

77. Satan sometimes hums the theme song to mid fall murders

78. Satan’s compliments often sound more like insults

79. Satan originally took Levi to be a nobody with no powers.

80. Satan once used Diavolo as a hostage

81. When Satan wanted to get MC a gift he offered to kill someone for them

82. Satan enjoys a railroad building mobile app

83. In the baseball game in the anime, Satan’s team lost 0 to 666 but Satan still claims it’s the game where he trumped Lucifer

84. Satan owns a book that can enter the memories of whoever first opens it

85. Satan built a life like snow sculpture of Lucifer out of spite, knowing Lucifer would feel uncomfortable

86. Satan once decorated the backyard with cat towers hoping it’d become a cat colony

87. Satan is the secretary of the RAD student council

88. Satan is the one who introduced the idea of second-hand/used bookstores to the Devildom.

89. Satan has a collection of priceless jewels that are rare in both the human world and Devildom. It’s not stated how he got his hands on them but he is alluded to being very wealthy by Leviathan

90. Believing they were lost deep in the forest, Satan initiated sex with MC but they were immediately after found by Beelzebub

91. Satan said if he was in a horror movie he’d be the silent killer “helping” the detectives and frame Lucifer for all the murders

92. Satan once got into a fight with Beelzebub over who liked Devilcat most

93. Satan once went to a riddle event with Solomon and MC

94. Satan bribed Barbatos with rare tea to let him go to the human world alone

95. In an interview with B’s Log he said his everyday small happiness is gaining new knowledge

96. Something Satan believes is absolutely not allowed in front of him is disrespecting cats and is quoted saying “Dare to make disrespectful remarks about cats in front of me. I’ll **** and **** your ****.” — B’s log

97. Satan’s three rules for his daily life are — Read books, play with cats, and make time for yourself

98. When asked if he prefers mature or child-like people, he states he prefers mature people and then immediately references Simeon

99. Satan is skilled with cooking stews and enjoys working with the variety of spices and herbs Barbatos gives him

100. Satan believes his composure makes him “cool” and that he only “very, very occasionally” loses his temper

#obey me fun fact #obey me fun facts #obey me satan #om satan #happy birthday Satan #omswd Satan #obey me shall we date Satan

[sad-soup-sonic]

What I think your favourite sonic character says about you!

Sonic- you need therapy

Tails- Your an older sibling who feels 6 years old in their 20’s

Knuckles- you complain that nobody appreciates him enough. And you’d be correct.

Amy- you could give me a 3 hour video essay on an oddly specific historical subject and you’d have my full attention

Cream- you say you don’t like kids but then you cry every time you see a kid in fiction because you’re scared that anything or everything bad will happen. (the embodiment of that “if anything happens to them I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself” meme)

Big the cat- you scare me in a way that shouldn’t even exist

Shadow- You are so right (please kiss me on the mouth)

Rouge- you ether like her way to much. Or you like her way to much.

Omega- haha. Bomb.

Silver- You believe you’d be able to win a fight against anyone who would make fun of your friends, but would cry if you had to make plans over the phone.

Blaze- your handwriting and craftsmanship with making art and stories always comes to amaze me. Like you know when you join a fandom and see the most breathtaking fic or art. Like how is it not in a museum, or a best selling novel, that’s how I feel about your art/writing.

Metal- ok you’re a NERD nerd. Like you’ve been a fan of sonic since you were 8, you played a lot of the games, you own at least a couple comics and figures. This franchise is ingrained in your BLOOD.

Eggman- wow that’s really interes- *pepper-sprays you in the eyes*

Charmy- you were either the really annoying kid and proud, or stuck using millennial/ tumblr slang 24/7, Or both.

Espio- what’s it like only shipping rear pairs

Vector- your to swag to exist. Like there are at least 50 people you’ve had minor interactions with in real life who now have that interaction in their long term memory just because of how cool you were. What are you even doing here man? Go outside!

#sth #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #knuckles the echidna #amy rose #cream the rabbit #big the cat #shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #e 123 omega #team dark #team sonic #the chaotix #espio the chameleon #charmy bee #vector the crocodile #relatable

[kookslastbutton]

Too Late to Dream ༓ jjk (m)┃ch. V

✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.

Pairing: economics professor!jungkook x fem!artist!reader

AU/Genre: angst, smut, fluff, marriage au, age gap, series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 3,342

Warnings: 8-year age gap, mentions of professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), jk has milk obsession, oc injured, both lonely :(, mommy issues, lots of family drama/in-laws, fighting, pent-up issues/desires, jk has daddy issues, jk being good hubby to oc

Now Playing: Make It Right, Tryna Be, Infinity, It Will Rain, Heaven+

A/N: I've heard the requests and I think it's time to fulfill them–how did they get together?! Yes, it's here and I'm excited to finally share! Also, yes this took up whole chapter so a tiny break from present-day stuff but we'll be back at it next chapter. 💞

<< ch. IV ༓ ch. Vl >> | series masterlist

Before marrying you, Jungkook had the same routine. He got up, showered, brushed his teeth, put work clothes on, grabbed breakfast, and ran out the door with twenty minutes to spare. Trying to find a parking spot at 7 a.m. at the university was no joke and he had to leave early or some college kid would take the last spot and not think twice.

His night routine was similar. Jungkook finished the day between 5 and 6 pm, slowly regretting he ever agreed to teach evening classes. He’d kick off his shoes, eat dinner, grade some of his student’s papers if needed, brush his teeth again, and went to bed.

It was a constant cycle and with no one around, not even a pet, Jungkook’s life was fairly quiet and systematic. Sometimes his buddies would come over on the weekend for a couple of hours and that surely rocked his world.

But that wouldn’t happen often during the school season due to his ridiculously packed teaching schedule. The most recent person he’d hang around during those months was Taehyung and if he wasn’t free, Jungkook would spend his time at the grocery store–stocking up on milk.

4 years ago

“That was two weeks ago man,” Jungkook says, pushing a cart with five-gallon jugs of milk to his car. He’s on the phone with Taehyung who's reminiscing about the grand opening of the new art exhibit and how “lovely” it was to meet you there.

Jungkook doesn’t need reminding though.

He clearly remembers seeing you there and Taehyung happily making a complete fool of him once he found out who you were. Thankfully you hadn’t seemed to mind too much since you and Taehyung soon moved on to discuss various art theories, masterpieces, and underrepresented artists.

“You didn't have to stay y'know.” If Jungkook didn't know any better he'd think Taehyung was salty. "You could've left at 8 pm like you planned. __ and I would have been fine."

Jungkook winces hearing the man's argument. He did think about going home at 8, but it unsettled him to leave you alone with Taehyung. His colleague was enjoying himself a little too much that night and there’s no telling what he’d do or say when he’s overly comfortable.

Jungkook had to stay until you left.

"Are you kidding me? Leaving you unsupervised would've been the worst idea after all your endless blubbering." Jungkook pops the trunk of his car, stuffing the jugs of milk inside. "God knows what you'd scar __ with."

On the other line, Taehyung smirks through the speaker. "No, that's not it......you weren't going to leave me alone with a woman, an attractive one at that."

Jungkook grabs the last jug of milk, slamming it on the floorboard. "Student, and stop talking about her like that. She's my stu—"

"Say student one more time and I'm going to take all your milk and give it to Yoongi hyung's cats."

"I swear to god, Taehyung, if you touch my milk I'm never going to another art museum or wine tasting with you again." Jungkook is very protective of his dairy products.

"That's okay. I don't need you when __ says she'll be happy to go with me sometime." Smug bastard, Jungkook thinks. There's no way you said that.

"That's bull Taehy—"

"Look she's in her masters and is literally eight years younger than you. It's not that serious so stop acting like she's fresh out of high school. Besides, you said it yourself, she's not a child."

Jungkook grunts, shoving the cart into the others. "She's a young lady who happens to be enrolled in the school. As faculty, we have no business thinking or talking about her outside those terms."

"For fucksake, Kook. You always make things so complicated!" Taehyung's baritone voice cracks through the speaker. "I'm just trying to get you to admit that you're into her some way or another. How many other students have I stayed to talk to and you couldn't give a—"

Just then a loud, high-pitch screech interrupts the call. Jungkook whips his head around immediately. He doesn't spot anything at first but a string of profanities remains audible in the distance.

"Jungkook, are you okay?"

"Yeah, but someones screaming and I can't tell where it's coming from." Jungkook walks around the grocery parking lot, eyes darting left and right. "Oh shit!"

There, near the bus stop, you lay on your side with your right leg stretched out and blood running from your temple. You try getting up but you fall right back down, cursing sharply.

"Taehyung I gotta go, it's __. I don't know what happened but she's laying by the bus stop and I think she needs help!" Jungkook shuts his phone and races to where you lay. He kneels next to you with sheer horror on his face. "__, what happened? What can I do?"

"Damn college boys, Dr. Jeon," you spit, dragging your leg up as far as you can. You reach for your bag which had flung about a foot away when you crashed. "So fucking eager to get off the bus and—oh damn that hurts like a bitch!"

"What hurts?" Jungkook lunges forward to catch your torso from slamming on the hard concrete. "Stay still okay? We need to get you to the hospital."

"I'm all set, but thanks. It'll likely heal in a day."

Jungkook shakes his head and wraps an arm under your back and legs. "Can you put your arms around my neck?"

"Dr. Jeon, I appreciate what you're doing but I don't want to go to the hospital. Please."

You're serious. No trace of bluffing or even simply trying to act tough. You really don't want to go.

"You need to be checked by a doctor sweetheart," Jungkook insists. "Whatever happened has made it so you can't walk. C'mon, my car is nearby and I'll drive you over."

"No, wait!" He feels you push against his chest.

"__. I'm not leaving you without making sure you didn't break a bone or something. I don't want to make things worse but you don't look so hot right now. So please, let me take you." Jungkook lifts you up when you give a barely consenting yes.

"You sprained your ankle pretty bad hun." Dr. Kim Seokjin draws your attention to the X-ray scan. "Second degree." He points to the visual of your partially torn ligament. "There's going to be a lot of swelling so you're gonna need to stay off your foot for at least 4 weeks."

"Do I have to stay here?" is your first question.

"For the first couple of weeks, we strongly advise—yes." Dr. Kim moves on to the next X-ray scan. "You also cracked a rib which will also take about 4 weeks to heal, or more. Of course you're head has suffered a mild concussion as well but it's very mild thankfully." Dr. Kim catches sight of Jungkook next to you, staring at the scans. "You're wife's going to be okay," he says mid-diagnoses.

"We're not—" you start to say but Dr. Kim continues talking.

"Wife, girlfriend, lover, what have you. The point is, much of what we have here will recover with a month of rest, ice, and elevation." He takes a pen from his pocket and starts jotting down something on paper. "I recommend two weeks here for moderation purposes. If things look good, you finish the healing at home. Still, be careful though, no funny business."

The blank looks on both your faces tell Dr. Kim he wasn't clear enough. "Yah, my filters going to die with you two doe-eyed deer. No funny business means no sex!"

"Oh god!" You outburst, mortified by the thought. Jungkook whips his head to your slack-jawed expression. "Dr. Kim, it's not like that between us."

The older man suddenly zeros in on your professor, eyes narrowing slightly. "What's the matter son? Having trouble getting it up?"

Jungkook jolts in his seat, startled by the crass response. "I—no, what? There's nothing wrong with my—"

"We're not together!" You shout before Jungkook's sentence finishes. "We're friends." Saying that your professor brought you here sounded a little odd for some reason, especially when Dr. Kim was already convinced you two were a thing.

"Mhm sure, heard the same thing from my wife before we went off and eloped." Dr. Kim treads to the door. If he has a dime for how many times he's heard that "we're friends" bs he'd be...well, he's already rich so never mind. "Let's move on to something more productive now, like getting __ settled in a room. The sooner she starts the healing process, the sooner she can be good as new again."

"Thank you Dr. Kim," Jungkook says, slowly standing up to stroll you and your wheelchair out of the room. You didn't like it but the nurses insisted you be in one to keep pressure off your muscles.

"Yeah yeah." Dr. Kim waves him off. "Just remember what I said, no funny business. Especially here at the hospital. You don't know how many times I've heard the nurses catching their patients on top of one another at 2 am in the morning. That better not be you two, whoever you are to each other."

"Yes, doctor." You both reply, thankful of the fact that neither of you are in any position to be looking at each other.

"Is there any way I can be here for less than two weeks?" Jungkook watches as you plead with the nurse. It worries him that you're still anxious to avoid medical attention.

"I'm afraid not," the nurse says simply. "If you need anything, press the call button and I'll be in as soon as I can."

Once the nurse leaves, Jungkook pulls up a chair next to your bed. "Stupid question but how are you feeling?"

"I'm in an ankle brace, my rib burns, and my head is still dizzy. I'm trapped in the hospital for two weeks and all because a bunch of nineteen-year-old boys couldn't wait to hit up some frat party," you groan, not bearing in mind your tongue. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this Dr. Jeon."

"You didn't drag me into anything __. I'm glad I was there when this happened and I'm even more glad that you're here, getting help." Jungkook clears his throat before continuing. "Even if it isn't ideal for you."

You ignore the subtle pry for information. "Please, Dr. Jeon. You don't have to stay any longer. It's the weekend and I'm sure you have plans."

Jungkook gives a faint smile. "So, you're saying this is none of my business?"

"No, not—not at all. I mean if you want to stay then I guess you can but I don't want you to feel obligated or anything."

"I want to be here," Jungkook says simply. "But you know that's not what I meant. I'd like to know why it bothers you when anyone tries to help you...if I may."

"Just habit," you mumble quickly, averting eye-contact. It's not your professor's job to bear the weight of your problems.

Jungkook nods in reply, pretending you gave a satisfactory explanation. He wishes you'd tell him but if you didn't want to share more then that was your choice —he wasn't going to force you. "I understand." He grabs his phone from his pocket and rests his elbows on his knees. "Are you hungry?"

"Huh?" You look back at him, his question going right over your head.

"I asked if you're hungry. It's about dinner time so I can get you something if you want. I also have a bunch of milk in my trunk that needs to get to a fridge. But I can place the order now and pick it up in my way back here."

"Milk in your trunk?" Is the only words you repeat, dumbfounded. "Like chocolate milk or...?"

"Nah, Whole Milk." Jungkook grins at your scrunched up face. You try to hide it but not very well. "Don't look so disgusted. Milk is good for you."

"Yeah when you're ten years old."

"On the contrary!" You flinch when his voice rises, along with his eyebrows. "Milk has a lot of health benefits as adults. It has thirteen essential nutrients and helps maintain muscle and bone strength. I drink at least two full glasses a day, if not more."

"I'm sorry but that's nasty." You shudder at the thought of drinking milk in your twenties let alone your thirties. "You really enjoy it? The taste?"

"Yup, always have since a baby! Loved it so much that my mother-" You raise an eyebrow to which he abruptly switches topics. "Anyway, do you want me to pick you up something or no?"

You giggle, a little uncomfortable with whatever he was about to disclose to you.

"That's okay, no thanks."

"You sure? Otherwise I'm gonna be eating in front of you." Jungkook knows how this sounds — he's trying to force you to eat. But the truth is, he just doesn't want to eat by himself tonight. He also doesn't want to leave you alone this early, especially when you obviously detest being here, for whatever reason.

"I'm sure," you say. "But...if you want to come back you can. Not like I have anything to do anyway."

"Good then." Pleased, Jungkook opens up his phone contacts. "Give me you're number in case you change your mind while I'm out."

Over the next couple of weeks, Jungkook continues to stay by your side. He leaves to teach his classes of course and to go home late at night, but he stops by every day—hours at a time.

You keep insisting that he not come so much but he always makes the same excuses. "I just brought food" or "You're on my way home from the university". Sometimes he brings in class notes too.

Due to your current predicament, you're missing a lot of content so Jungkook thinks it best to go over key principles with you and takeaways from his lectures. He says it's his duty as a professor–never minding the fact that many of his other students are in a predicament of their own yet he’s not bothering to do jack for them.

"Look Dr. Jeon, I appreciate what you're doing but you really don't have to. I'll be perfectly alright to catch myself up from the textbook and study guides. You don't have to keep stopping by." You try again but Jungkook keeps his wall just as strong as yours.

"I know I don't have to __. I know that I could leave right now, take all these lecture notes home with me, and not feel guilty about a thing. But I told you I was going to be here and I'm going to keep to that no matter how many times you urge me to leave. I also want you to call me Jungkook outside class but have you allowed for any of those to happen?" Jungkook tosses the folder of notes in his sachel, a loud thump following. "A simple thank you would suffice."

"I am grateful, I really am. But I never asked to be given so much of your time. I feel bad because maybe you're just one of those overly nice people who feel it's their duty to stick around or what not when someone's in trouble. I don't need to be pitied over! Also, you said I could keep calling you the usual, so Dr. Jeon it will remain!" Why you're raising your voice, you don't know but it's happening either way.

"Yeah I did," Jungkook quips, matching your tone. "But after the last, nearly two weeks I think we ought to be on a first-name basis! And I'm in no way pitying you okay? I'm here because I care dammit! I don't want you to be alone and I don't want you to be behind in getting your Masters. So I' try to be be here every day for at least fifteen minutes if not more!"

You don't fully process what he says so you reply to what you remember most. "Why? Why can't I call you Dr. Jeon? It's been that way from the start, twice every week. So why do I need to call you Jungkook all a sudden?!"

"Because it makes me feel younger, you insulted my milk after I first took you to the hospital, we've been eating dinner almost every night since your injury, you told me about your childhood cat named Mr. Muttonbottom, and you just called me by my first name so there are no take backs! Now, if you're done making a fit, do you want bibimbap or jajangmyeon for dinner tonight?!"

What the actual hell? You cease your arguing at once, hearing your professor, or excuse you, Jungkook, all fluffed up. Obviously, you're not the only one high-strung over being stuck in the same routine day in, day out.

"Jajangmyeon...please," you mutter.

"Thank fuck," he swears. Yeah that's new too.

"Sorry for getting mad earlier." You mumble the words as soon as Jungkook returns with the food. "It just feels odd that you've been here all the time...you're my professor."

Jungkook mauls over your choice of words, stiffening ever so slightly. "Well, I'd like to think we're sorta friends now but alright. Does this actually bother you __? I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, you know that." He places the bag of take-out on the small desk near your bed.

"No, it's doesn't bother me." you just don't know how to react or what to say besides a measly thank you. More so, you don't want to make someone feel responsible for you...you should take care of your own shit without bringing others with you. It's not the best mindset, you're aware, but its the one you have.

"Okay good because to be completely transparent, I'm sorta here for me too. I live my myself, eat by myself, talk to myself....I do most things alone so it's nice having someone else to be around." He's not sure where to set his eyes, so he looks downward, fumbling with the napkins in front of him. "I'm making this awkward, sorry."

Feeling the strange need to offer comfort, you stretch a hand over Jungkook's arm. "I get it. It's nice having someone around too."

You and Jungkook hold each other's gaze for a few seconds more, letting the brief silence do the rest of the talking. Maybe you've been looking at this a little too one-sided.

"How are you feeling today? Any better?" Jungkook cracks open the bowl of Jajangmyeon, handing it to you with a pair of chopsticks.

You take the steamy food and gesture to your ankle which has swollen down a good amount. "Still more healing to be done but it's better."

Jungkook hums in approval. "That's comforting to hear. Dr. Kim going to discharge you soon?"

"Yeah, I think so. A few more days and he said I should be able to rest up at home."

"Really?" He chews on his bottom lip. "Well great, uhm , do you have stuff going on when you get back?"

You think a moment, trying to recollect if you made plans with Na-Rae. "Maybe some but not much. I don't have a ton of people around me right now either...down here I mean."

"Well, do you wanna go out to dinner then?" Jungkook pops the question more causal than expected. It's almost like he planned this or at least has been thinking about it for a bit. "We've been eating together for a while now and I think it might be a nice celebratory thing."

"Are you asking me on a date...Jungkook?" Because it defiantly sounds like he is, as indirect as it may be.

His reply is barely audible but you hear it and for the first time, your professor sounds truly timid. "Uh, well...let's go with "hang out", like friends do."

A/N: so yeah, thats how they got together 👀😅 anyone surprised? Thinking about a drabble for thier first date now haha. Anyway, next chapter we get back to present day stuff where more drama goes down. Also, adding a chapter bc this flashback took the whole chapter lol. Lmk your thoughts 💞

Masterlist

Taglist:

@frieschan @oldermenluverrr @tatamicc @kookswifesblog @llallaaa @sunnybyeol @namtaeh @exactlygreatcoffee @whipwhoops @yoongisducky @ktnj91 @junecat18 @thvlover7 @yoongiworshiper @ellesalazar @monbebe234-blog @parkinglot-nights @borahaexoxo @hobiswhore @kimseokjinbangtan @jjk97091 @mk-id @blueberry711 @givemethemaknaes16 @iammartian07 @jjkluver7 @itsdingdong @jiminshi20 @sweet-sourhotcoco @lubtou @lovingkoalaface @starsinsky1999 @rockstarrgyu @chaconnelatte @kaithezaftig @skzthinker @babystarcandykookie @jksusawife

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

#bangtanbathhouse #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #bts smut #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts au #fic:toolatetodream #kookslastbutton

[a-d-nox]

web of wyrd: goals you should set to become your best self

this is just a theory of mine because these bubbles of the matrix should represent your higher self. i feel like it could work for the outside numbers too that changes yearly... anywho - this is not to say that you can't accomplish goals/resolution not listed in your category / under your energetic number nor that your efforts not listed in your selection don't make you a better person. this is simply what i believe people with these numbers would benefit from doing and how they can gain new found confidence in themselves.

1 - the magician

start a garden, work on passion project(s), read or write a business/self-help books, get a tarot/astrology/mediumship reading, study more tarot/astrology/mediumship, complete an art project, make your own soap or candles, start taking vitamins daily, declutter, learn to cook, learn to code, get car detailed, start journaling, do a paid class or certification course, start learning a new language, learn more about heritage, learn how to do nails at home, start a side hustle, learn to knit or crochet, learn how to manage a bonsai, or go to a concert

2 - the high priestess

delve deeper into spiritual practices, eat to support hormones, learn to bake, take a mixology course or find your signature drink (if you are of age), start or restructure a self-care routine, take a beach/cruise vacation, play brain games, learn to makes candles, go to a fondue experience, reset closet or revamp style, try a juice cleanse, take a cooking class, get a tarot/astrology/mediumship reading, practice tarot/astrology/mediumship abilities, or take self-defense class

3 - the empress

build up your crystal collection, reset closet or revamp style, go to an art museum, see a ballet or take a ballet class, sketch daily, practice makeup looks, keep a flower garden, get jewelry cleaned or revamp jewelry collection, save for real pearl/diamond/stone jewelry, learn to make your own candy/sweets, start a budget or emergency fund, reset closet or revamp style, save for a designer piece/accessory, start a new beauty/skincare routine, take a trip to a fancy restaurant, learn how to dried your own fruits, start a garden or try to grow something new in your garden, go to a concert/orchestra, read or write a poetry book, go to a play, start wearing lingerie (sometimes it's a pick me up to know you look good for yourself), get a boudoir photoshoot done, go to a vineyard or wine tasting (for those of drinking age), or take a dance class

4 - the emperor

start a new skincare routine, go on a rock climbing retreat, start going to the gym or become a personal trainer, try an adrenaline rush activity (skydiving, bungee jumping, etc), take a wood shop class, get more into your coffee - learn about sourcing/grinding beans, start taking better care of your eyes, start a hair care routine, start an oral health routine, start meditating, or start using time blocking or following a planner

5 - the hierophant

sketch daily, go on an architectural tour, start a beauty routine, go to a history museum, learn how to make pastries/sweets/candies, get your earrings cleaned professionally or save for a quality set, learn how to make sour dough, save for real pearl/diamond/stone jewelry, take piano/organ lessons or give them, take or give singing lessons, or take a class

6 - the lovers

get car detailed, get car license, do a bicycle marathon or learn how to rider a bike, read a set number of books, buy a quality briefcase / work tote, go on a day trip, start a gym membership or soulcycle classes, build up you crystal collection and learn how to use them, upgrade your desk set up, go for hand & foot message, learn how to do nails at home, start reading the newspaper (i recommend the new yorker), take a language classes, learn a new language, take a train trip, learn how to better your communication with others, or start talk therapy

7 - the chariot

start a garden or try to grow something new in your garden, learn how to bake or learn how to bake something new, start a new beauty routine, go on a boat trip / cruise, get car detailed, try a juice cleanse, upgrade glassware, declutter, invest in home, stay at a hotel or bed & breakfast, upgrade kitchenware, go on a lake trip, go tubing, invest in pearls, invest in real estate / land, try a new restaurant, get silver jewelry cleaned professionally, shop your pantry, go on a trip, or start journaling your intentions / bullet journaling

8 - strength

go to an amusement park, work on or finish a passion project, take ballroom dancing classes, learn about tea and tea leaves, learn to read tea leaves, start playing a new game or design a new game, practice vulnerability, go to the movie theater, start a flower garden, or get a pet

9 - the hermit

get a pet, organize bookshelves, try a juice cleanse, upgrade clothing or declutter closet, start an oral health routine, start journaling more consistently, learn more about emergency preparedness, invest in emergency preparedness, learn to cook something new, invest in new dining ware (new plates/bowls, cups / glassware, silverware, etc), try a food subscriptions (home chef, hello fresh, pickle of the month club, bokksu japanese snack box, etc), take care of a bonsai, take supplements, learn to knit or crochet, start an herb garden, learn to dry your own herbs, take a one way trip to anywhere, or go on a hiking trip

10 - wheel of fortune

learn about different incenses/herbs, practice or take a class in archery, plant a tree, invest in land, learn how to dry berries, start a budget, learn how to budget, start going to a gym / exercising, expand religious/spiritual/philosophical knowledge, learn how to play a new card game, learn how to spin your own wool (then you can move to weaving, crocheting, and/or knitting), learn how to make your own clothing, buy a luxury coat, take a trip to a country or place you have never been, start an oral health routine, take an etiquette class, learn about the customs of other countries/cultures, eat more fruit, get a beehive / harvest your own honey, start taking royal jelly, take a horseback riding lesson, upgrade shoes / shoe collection, support spiritual practices / keep learning about what you believe in / trust, or start practicing a positive mindset

11 - justice

go to a ballet or an art gallery, start using or invest in an air purifier, learn how to take care of house plants, buy a house plant, take a spa day, go to a spa, reset your cosmetics (please clean your brushes and sponges), wearing lingerie (sometimes it's a pick me up to know you look good for yourself), get a boudoir photoshoot done, organize your closet, declutter your closet, start a capsule wardrobe, learn how to make pastries/sweets, invest in diamonds, propose to your lover, buy a dress that makes you feel good and take yourself on a date (fancy diner and a play/opera/ballet), go to a fashion show or exhibit, buy yourself flowers, start a flower garden, invest in a luxury chair (a chaise, reading chair, gaming card - whatever your thing is, justice person), declutter your jewelry, invest in luxury jewelry, get your jewelry professional cleaned, go to a concert, read or write a poetry, buy yourself chocolate dipped strawberries, get hair extensions (i know you want to lol), do logic puzzles, or go to an escape room

12 - the hanged man

take a mixology course or find your signature drink (if you are of age), learn how to better decode angel numbers, look into / practice natural medical remedies, take a ballet class, go to a ballet, revamp your self-care routine, go on a beach vacation, try a new tea or coffee, learn more about tea or coffee, practice photography or start a photography side hustle, take a dance class, read or write a smutty/romance/fantasy book, make a fairy garden, get a tarot/astrology/mediumship reading, practice your tarot/astrology/mediumship abilities, start budgeting, try a new makeup look or practice your makeup skills, go to a concert, paint something, read or write a poetry book, take a swim class, make a poppet, or practice meditation

13 - death

start practicing or expanding homeopathic cures and remedies, learn more about meat sourcing, purchase/invest in half a cow or pig, learn how to cook and trim meats, try to be a vegetarian or a vegan for a month or longer, do a colon cleanse, read a philosophy of death book, expand your knowledge of magic, try a new period product, learn more about poisonous plants, make a frog pond, buy a scorpion/snake/snake, gift someone something unexpectedly, or declutter your space

14 - temperance

go on a hunting trip, take an archery class, read a book on religion or philosophy, start a devotional journal, read the book of your core religion or philosophy, purchase a book on dream meanings and keep a dream journal to reflect on your dreams, take a certification course or college class, take a horseback riding lesson, go on a horse drawn carriage ride, do logic puzzles, or learn how to better decode angel numbers

15 - the devil

invest in a fan or air conditioning unit, if you have the land for it - buy a cow/horse/goat, learn how to use kinetic tape, start dry brushing, invest in diamonds / diamond jewelry, propose to your significant other, invest in a luxury clock or watch, practice/learn better nail care, invest in room darkening curtains, invest in and use a happy lamp, start a lotion/cream skin routine, learn how to knit or crochet, invest in hair products (extensions, shampoo subscription, etc), start a hair routine, invest in leather fashion-ware, start a garden or try to successfully grow something new in your garden, invest in an ice maker or ice molds, or try a juice cleanse

16 - the tower

practice yoga, take an acrobatic/gymnastic class, learn about and practice homeopathic cures and remedies, take a first-aid course, learn how to bake, learn how to season and marinate your meats, get a bad haircut or shave your hair off, learn how to use a straight razor, learn knife skills, get a custom metal works done, take boxing lesson, go to a boxing match or monster truck duel, learn more about meat sourcing, purchase/invest in half a cow or pig, learn how to cook and trim meats, try to be a vegetarian or a vegan for a month or longer, take a wood shop class, start a cactus/succulent garden, buy a cactus or succulent, learn how to cook something from scratch (and be okay with failing at it multiple times), invest in pocket knife / knife set /leatherman / multitool and learn how to use it, invest in a tool kit, read or write a comic or graphic novel, take a mixology course or find your signature drink (if you are of age), listen to more rock music, invest in a vinyl, go to a rock concert, maintain a pepper plant, or build a lego kit

17 - the star

learn how to make friendship bracelets, invest in a fan or air conditioning unit, take a flight lesson, use compression stockings/socks, take an architectural tour, read or write an astrology reading, get car detailed, get a club memberships, invest in an electronic device brand, collect movies, watch a new movie, invest in a camera, film a short film or practice photography, start a photography side hustle, practice shadow work, get rid of unused subscriptions, take an acting class, read or write a book on health or mental health, or read or write a book on positivity

18 - the moon

make a piece of abstract art, take a mixology course or find your signature drink (if you are of age), pay a fish, visit an aquarium, go on a fishing trip (for the dads), watch a fishery documentary, read or write a book of conspiracy theories, learn how to read a crystal ball, buy a tarot/astrology/mediumship reading, practice your tarot/astrology/mediumship abilities, invest a camera, practice photography or start a photography side hustle, read or write poetry book, attempt hydroponics, practice bluffing, take an acting class, invest in new shoes, start using a sleeping eye mask, invest in silk pillow cases, buy yourself new quality bed sheets, start using a bonnet, invest in a typewriter, practice shadow work, buy a puppy, or purchase a book on dream meanings and keep a dream journal to reflect on your dreams

19 - the sun

read an autobiographical books, take ballroom dancing lessons, start an oral health routine, try a new card game, make your own chocolates, take an artistic/creative class, get new jewelry or an engagement ring, buy yourself flowers, start a flow garden, start a herb garden, learn how to dry your own herbs, go to a race of some sort (cars, horse, etc), invest in sporting equipment, buy and maintain an ivy plant, take a pottery class, or work on your passion project / hobbies

20 - judgment

buy an ant farm, practice astral projection, learn more about emergency preparedness, invest in emergency preparedness, practice illusions and slight of hand, buy and learn about poisonous plants, read the divine comedy, do a puzzle, buy a bubby, or wearing lingerie (sometimes it's a pick me up to know you look good for yourself)

21 - the world

start a garden or try to grow something new, take or give a guitar lesson, invest in air conditioning or fan, take an architectural tour, make your own teddy bear (literally sow one), buy a pair of quality/luxury boots, keep a calendar or planner, practice sun protect / use sunblock products, convert to wooden kitchen supplies (cutting board, spoon, etc), buy a luxury carpet, make a clay house guardian, invest in a luxury clock or watch, use compression stockings/socks, collect coins, learn how to use kinetic tape, build up your crystal collection, start a budget tracker, start a lotion for dry skin routine, learn to knit/crochet, start a hair care routine, invest in an ice machine or ice making trays, learn to make ice cream, take a pottery class, invest in real estate or land, keep a zen sand garden, or invest in a sculpture

22 - the fool

take flight lessons, take a flight to anywhere, get car detailed, get an astrology reading, practice your astrology reading abilities, learn how to ride a bike or do a bike marathon, go to the movie theater, invest in a luxury clock or watch, start a club memberships, take a train ride, take motorcycle classes, do something impulsive, filming or recording something and upload it online, learn to cross stitch / knitting / crocheting, invest in a camera, practice photography, watch a new movie / tv show, invest in a new tv, or take a class

like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my "suggest a post topic" button if you want to see a specific pac/pile next. if you'd like my input on how i read a specific card or what i like to ask my deck, feel free to use the ask button for that as well.

click here for the masterlist

click here for more web of wyrd related posts

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices.

© a-d-nox 2023 all rights reserved

#astrology #astro community #astrology tumblr #tarotdaily #tarot witch #tarot art #daily tarot #rider waite tarot #tarot deck #tarot reading #tarot cards #tarot #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #wyrd web #web of wyrd #matrix of destiny #matrix of fate #magician #empress #the high priestess #the empress #emperor #the heirophant #lover #lovers #the charioteer #strength #justice #wheel of fortune

[octuscle]

i'm a skinny nerd from the northeast who goes to college in Kansas i'm about 5 foot 7 tall who was on my way to  the Chemistry Lab when a pair of big burly hands grabbed me , punched me in the gut. When i came to ,i was tied to a bench with rope in the male locker room. my legs were tied to a bar below the bench and my hands two the pegs above. my mouth was coved with duct tape with a mouthguard inside my mouth. i look down to see all my clothes were gone i was wearing only a jock strap . i have never worn a jockstrap before it was so uncomfortable .i look to see my red star trek t-shirt , my jeans, my sneakers and socks & my "geeky" white briefs were are cut up on the floor. i look up to see that i was surrounded by the hairiest, most manly, most self-centered, most muscled guys on campus : The college football team. the football team was wearing gray tank tops & crimson basketball shorts. the football players were who look like normal corn fed Kansas farm boys. they were at least 6 feet 3 inches tall in height and is broad-shouldered and muscular in build .they took off their tank tops i saw they all have 6 pack abs , substantial pecs and arms are also are broad-shouldered . they pull out a gym bag with my name on it with other pairs of boxers& jockstraps& clothes such as gym shorts, tank top including a red star trek tank top , sweats,  and a table right in front of me on that table was a football uniform, The helmet, cleats, jersey, and gear .they show me the jersey with my last name. they told me i was going to become a corn fed Kansas farm boy like them i will still be a geek. they told me all the guys on campus in town even the nerds on this small Kansas college campus has a 6 pack, substantial pecs and arms& are also broad-shouldered cause even the nerds work on farms & have to join the football team & get modeling gigs so they pay for college. when they put the football uniform on me turning from a skinny geek into a geeky Kansas farm boy.

Dude, I'm sorry, but sometimes it really pays to read the fine print. Your college has a partnership with us. When you enroll, you agree to undergo a Chronivac transformation if needed. And there is no need to justify the need. The mere fact that your upper arms are too small is sufficient. So welcome to Kansas, farm boy, I'm activating your jockstraps now, let the transformation begin!

Your body starts to tremble. Your hips shake. And your cock gets rock hard. The jockstrap fits your narrow hips and tight ass like a glove. A glove that is quickly soaked in precum while the twitches spread from your cock in all directions. Your thighs become powerful and hard as boards, your belly flattens and with every twitch your six pack becomes more and more prominent. At first you react in horror. But you enjoy it more and more. You would love to jerk off. But you have no control over your arms. Instead, your growing pecs start to dance. Your calves turn into real diamonds. And then the twitches reach your neck. It quickly becomes wider than your head. Your Adam's apple protrudes prominently, your moans become deeper and deeper. And as your facial features become more and more angular and masculine, your bulging muscles spread across your shoulders towards your hands.

Bruh, that was two weeks ago now. You have quickly become accustomed to your body. The only thing that bothers you is your smooth skin. But your body hair is already starting to grow. Soon you will be in no way inferior to your bruhs. Your brain and your cock are in a constant battle to see who controls you. But you are and always will be a geek. Your brain usually wins. But mercy on the ass you fuck if your cock wins.

You're still the same in your mind. Okay, you don't remember going to the philharmonic or art museums in your youth. You played football with your buddies and cleaned your old man's stable. But you're a geek and your goal is to get a good college degree. Even without a football scholarship. Although I'm sure you'd get it. Enjoy it, geek! There are worse things than growing up to be a really big boy in Kansas.

Pic found @backwardsnapback

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #chronivac #redneck tf #jock tf #football jock #backwards cap #tank top

[everliving-everblaze]

keepblr dash simulator

mutual 1: im so gay for linh song

mutual 2: you know that one sentence from five books ago that everyone else forgot about? (15 paragraphs of analysis)

mutual 3: (most cursed edit you've ever seen in your life) canon!

mutual 4: here's how I think pregnancy would work for an elf/ogre hybrid

mutual 5: (piece of art that belongs in a museum) wip

mutual 6: when I started reading this series I was but a babe suckling at my mother's breasts....

mutual 7: little drabble! (3k words of bloody torture of Keefe Sencen)

mutual 8: which page of kotlc is the best (poll 1038)

mutual 9: king dimitar is kinda....

#tag yourself ^-^ #keepblr #kotlc memes

[wardenparker]

Vampire Waltz - ch 14

Max Phillips x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

A mysterious inheritance, sprawling mansion, eccentric roommates, friendly bat, and coven of New England witches are the newest chapter of your life after being unceremoniously dumped and kicked out by your boyfriend. For Max, the biggest change in his life is you, and what exactly he's going to do about the fact that he is stuck living with you as long as his sire continues to punish him for that incident at his last office...

Rating: Mature, but this blog is always 18+! Word Count: 9.4k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this series: deceased parents, cursing, food, blood and blood drinking, depictions and references to abusive relationships. Anxiety and trauma responses. Self-worth issues.* Cute and cocky Max, the triumphant return of Cutie the Bat, so much fluff, dancing as foreplay, discussions of sex. Summary: An unexpected invitation yields surprising revelations, and Max has some help in planning a night that neither of you will ever forget. Notes: This week enjoy a colorized photo of Cornelius Vanderbilt II and wife Alice's palatial primary residence at 5th and 57th in Manhattan. Sold in the late 1920s, the mansion was later demolished and the current Bergdorf Goodman's location built in its place. At the end of the chapter I've added in a black and white photo of the house's ballroom, which makes a special appearance in this chapter!

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10 ~ Ch 11 ~ Ch 12 ~ Ch 13

The entirety of the journey traveling from Newport to the Vanderbilt’s house on Fifth Avenue is far more tiring than you had anticipated, and when you walk in the front door of the grand mansion — with its palatial fireplace that you have only seen in photos from the Metropolitan Museum of Art — it suddenly makes a lot more sense why people talk about travel being such an undertaking in the past. You are, in point of fact, exhausted. And dirty, which is unexpected. The kicked up dust and dirt from train terminals, unpaved roads, and all manner of other frustrations has your wishing for a bath.

That will have to wait, though, as almost the moment you walk through the door Mrs. Vanderbilt is by your elbow with an envelope. “This arrived for you this morning, dear,” Alice tells you with an impressed smile. “It seems you have been summoned.” The look of confusion on your face must be particularly lustily unintelligent because Alice Vanderbilt’s smile softens into something maternal. “Mrs. William Astor has asked you to tea, I suspect. You must have made quite an impression on her at the Brown’s ball.”

“Oh!” The imposing woman in her fifties had made quite the impression on you, as well, and you carefully open the envelope that Alice has pressed into your hand. It is exactly as Alice predicted, and you look up at the grandfather clock in the hall. “Just a few hours…” you murmur, looking over at Max, Annie and Emmanuel with concern pursing your expression. “It…seems to only be addressed to me?”

“Because the invitation is just for you.” Alice hums, as if the answer is obvious. “Do not be alarmed, most often highly statured ladies like Mrs. Astor prefer their socializing in smaller circles.” She leans in and lowers her voice. “Less gossip that way.”

“I will do my best not to embarrass any of you with poor manners.” It’s an honor, in this time and this place. You know that. But that doesn’t mean you’re not seriously nervous.

“After watching you charm a ballroom, I would never dream of such a thing.” Alice waves away your concern. “Come. You must be exhausted by your journey. I will have some tea and refreshments sent to your rooms.”

While Annie and Emmanuel are shown to separate rooms on opposite ends of the long second-floor hallway, you and Max are let into a green-and-white decorated guest room on the third floor that sports one slightly larger bed. The footman who showed you the way leaves you with a bow and closes the door to give you privacy, leaving you standing with Max in the middle of the luxurious room.

“Swanky.” Max hums as he looks around the room. “I have to admit, there’s something missing in modern decor. It’s just not as…elegant.”

“I like that we have the whole newlyweds thing going for us,” you admit, looking around the room while you lean into his side. “They just assume we want to be close to each other. And they’re right.”

Max smiles smugly. “Of course you want to stay close to me.” He brags, winking at you playfully. “You want my body.”

“If you’re going to be cocky about it, I’m not going to tell you what I’ve been thinking.” Raising one eyebrow at him, you dearly wish you were in comfortable jeans and a sweater so you could just plop down on the mattress and stretch out. The traveling dress you have on definitely won’t permit that.

He eyes you wickedly and bites his lip. “Yeah?” He hums. “You don’t want to tell me that you’ve imagined me under that dress of yours? Tongue at work while you pretend to be prim and proper?”

“I’ve been imagining more than that.” It seems like every step you take with him only spurs you onto the next a little faster. Knowing that his tendency toward caretaking with you isn’t just a show or just to get in your pants means more than you can really say. Max loves you, fully and without ulterior motive. And you love him the same.

“Oh yeah?” He snags your waist, pulling you close and grinning as he pulls the bow around your waist loose. He’s teasing you, but he also knows you must be desperate to get out of your dress.

“Maybe.” Flustered and dreamy-eyed, you put your arms around his neck and let him hold you as close as he wants. “Are you really gonna get me all riled up before I have to go have tea with the Mrs. Astor?”

“Why don’t I relax you before you have tea with the Mrs. Astor?” He poses. “Make you cum while you clean up.”

“A very dirty way of getting clean.” You hum, tipping your head back to silently ask for a kiss. “And maybe…a preview to tonight?”

“My wife is greedy.” Max boasts happily. “Wanting to sleep with a tongue inside her.”

“I was thinking maybe…” You can’t help it, biting your lip to keep the grin blossoming across your face from getting too big. “Of a different part of you…”

“Fingers?” Max lifts a brow at you and grins when you shake your head. “Toe? I’ve never tried that before, to be honest.”

"I'm ready." You tell him, warmth in your cheeks and in your smile. "If you are."

“Are you sure?” Max asks seriously, reaching up and brushing his fingers over your pulse. “I don’t want you to rush because you think I’m impatient.”

"I'm sure." His sweetness is part of the reason, but you know he would deflect if you said so. "I love you, and I want to celebrate that."

“It will be good.” He promises sincerely. “Like you’ve never experienced before.”

“If it’s good then it definitely will be like I’ve never experienced before,” you joke, rolling your eyes in exaggeration to make him laugh. “Honestly love, please don’t feel any pressure. I just…I want to share this with you. That’s all.”

“I’ve felt plenty of pressure.” Max jokes, smirking at his innuendo. “But if you’re ready, the perfect place to make love to my wife for the first time, would be in the bed at the Vanderbilt’s mansion.”

“Time travel bragging right.” Every time he gets so proud to call you his wife it gives you a little shiver and you grin.

“And it’s not like we are breaking into a museum to do it.” He chuckles and turns you around to start unbuttoning the back of your traveling dress. “It will be quite the ‘feather in your cap’ as your grandfather likes to say.”

“And we’re even in the time where people actually wear feathers in their caps.” His nimble fingers are quick to undo the outer layer of your dress, pulling away the top to let you stretch a little more easily in just your corset cover and corset above what seems like miles of petticoats. Without those big sleeves it’s a lot easier to move.

Max snickers. “I’m just grateful we didn’t come to a time where wearing tights was fashionable.” He jokes.

“Why not?” You smirk at him over your shoulder. “You’ve got great legs.”

“Yeah, but it would leave nothing to the imagination, package wise.” He snorts.

“Those big ‘ol pantaloons they wore over the tights would.” It reminds you of a Shakespeare show you saw once, and the idea of Max back in that time scraping out thees and thous makes you giggle. “Maybe I’ll get the hang of this time traveling stuff and we’ll be time tourists. Who knows?”

He hums, knowing that you both can be time travelers in your own time as well, watching history unfold as you both remain ageless.

Max helps you out of your skirt, letting you shed all those extra pounds of beading and embroidery for a little while before you have to put on something suitable for Mrs. Astor. You have very little idea of what Renée packed but you’ll manage, just enjoying the freedom of lighter layers for now. Petticoats and a bustle don’t weigh too much, you’ve been surprised to find.

“Better?” Max loves the sight of you in the undergarments of the time, honestly playing into the time period movies that he had watched when he was younger. Sometimes hoping to get laid, but that one – Pride and Prejudice – that was just a guilty pleasure.

“It’s so hard to move in the full dresses.” Which is why you’re wiggling happily and stretching everywhere now that you have a little freedom. “At least we didn’t come back to the age of six-foot crinolines. You wouldn’t be able to get near me at all.”

“I don’t know what that is, but a crinoline sounds horrible.” He gives you a mock look of horror. “Don’t sent us there.”

“I promise.” He gets the giggle out of you that he was hoping for, and you turn to lean against him because you still have the bustle underneath your petticoats tied in place so you can’t just back up into his arms.

“How come the history books never talk about how dirty traveling is?” Max snorts, knowing that both of you need a bath.

“Because no one wants to read about horse shit and dust everywhere.” You laugh along with him. “I wish I had time for a bath but apparently travel by horse-drawn carriage takes foreeeeever.”

“You want to get clean, baby doll?” Max smirks. “I can clean you up real quick.”

“Speed bath?” You raise one eyebrow at him.

He chuckles. “Perks of moving fast, sweetums.” He had overheard the nickname on the dining car last night and had fallen in love with it, to tease you with, of course.

When you roll your eyes it’s entirely joking, but you cross your arms appraisingly and smirk. “Alright. Go for it.”

“Done, baby doll.” He snaps his fingers as if he were a magician, drawing your eyes away from the trick before he begins to move quickly.

When he wants to be, Max is a whirlwind. Before you know it your petticoats are strewn around the room and your corset seems to disappear in a flash, along with your chemise and stockings, all while you barely feel him touch you. The tornado of movement carries you so easily to the bathroom and within minutes you’re scrubbed clean and dry again.

When he stops moving, it’s obvious that Max has also cleaned up while taking care of your quick wash. Grinning and not even breathless as he eyes you. “Believe me now?”

“Baby,” you smirk, the expression rolling over your features with glee. “I never doubted you. I just wanted to see you show off.”

“Good.” He winks at you and shrugs. “Now you are all clean and can enjoy your visit with Mrs. Astor.”

“Wish me luck?” Walking over to the set of buttons built into the carved wood detailing of the guest room, you press the one marked to connect to you maid and sigh. You are definitely going to need Renee’s help picking out a dress.

“Of course.” Max snaps his fingers again. “I could come with you.” He offers with a coy grin.

“I don’t think the Mrs. Astor would take kindly to a bat in her house.” Though you grin broadly at the idea.

“I would make a fashionable hat accessory.” He huffs, miffed that you might deny him the opportunity.

“If you think you can hold still for an entire tea visit, I’ll take you with me.” It’s sweet of him to want to come with you, though you know it’s also because he’s an incorrigible gossip.

He tuts because he knows you’ve got him there. There’s no way he wouldn’t ruffle his wings or trill at you in his bat form. “She might like bats.” He grumbles.

“She might.” When he pouts you can’t help but kiss him, and your hand on his chest feels the thrilling thud of a single heartbeat as your lips brush his. “And if she does, I’ll bring you next time. If there ever is a next time.”

“Ooookaaaaayyy.” He rolls his eyes, playing up the pouring before he shrugs. “Tea sucks anyway. Kind of like me.” He jokes, waggling his brows. “Get it?”

“Har har har.” The exaggerated laughing noise makes both of you bust out into giggles just before a knock sounds at the door and Renee enters.

“You rang, Ma’am?” She asks politely, stock still in her own immaculate uniform. No doubt she had already cleaned herself up from the trip.

“I was hoping you might have packed a nice tea dress for the trip, Renee.” Standing in your chemise and robe in the middle of the room is more than a touch unconventional, but so are you. “I’ve had an invitation from Mrs. Astor.”

“Ohhhhhh.” Her eyes widen slightly and she nods eagerly. “I have a beautiful teal tea dress that would be perfect.” She insists.

“Well,” you flash both of them a smile, with Renee zipping right past you to the closet where your and Max’s clothes have been stored. “Here goes nothing.”

******

More than an hour later, after all the fuss of redressing, restyling, saying your polite ‘good afternoon’s to the Vanderbilts, and being bundled in and out of a carriage all on your own to take you a mere twenty minute carriage ride from number 1 West 57th Street to 350 Fifth Avenue. The house is even grander than the old photo on the damn Wikipedia page you’d seen ages ago, and you swallow thickly as you walk up to the door and ring the bell. Somehow you’re just certain Mrs. Astor’s butler will be the most intimidating possible version of that career choice.

Instead of the butler answering the door, Mrs. Astor herself is the one that pulls the door open. She had been sent word that you had accepted her invitation and had been looking out for your carriage to arrive. “Mrs. Phillips!” She beams as she opens the door wider and steps back. “I am so pleased you decided to accept my invitation.”

“It was very kind of you to ask me.” Astonished to find the woman herself standing in the front hall of her house, you falter and damn near curtsy as a footman appears to whisk your gloves and reticule away. The small hat perched on your head — not adorned with a particular bat — stays firmly in place.

“When Alice Vanderbilt told me you were going to be in town, I knew I had to have you to tea.” She slides her arm through yours and notices you craning your neck around to look at the interior. “You and Mr. Phillips will be building homes, correct? Let me give you a tour? We have so many modern conveniences.”

“We haven’t decided where to build yet.” Polite conversation seems the way to go, as Mrs. Astor escorts you around the first floor of the fashionable and enormous brownstone they call home. “We may make our home in Newport year round.”

“I would love to have a permanent home.” She admits easily. “Packing up everything I need from one home to another is so tiring at times.”

“But the summers are not always pleasant here, and winters can be isolating in Newport.” She leads you through the hall to a stunning sitting room and it’s really all you can do not to stare the way you did your very first day at your home in Newport. “There must be some advantages for being able to travel where the weather is nicest?”

“Of course there are. I know that I am very fortunate to be able to escape the intolerant weather.” She knows that she is privileged and is thankful for her children’s sake. “I would love a frolicking bath in the gardens. Or a pool, but William says that it’s too much effort.”

“Max doesn’t particularly care for the beach. I think he would probably love a pool instead.” Although, the thought of him indignantly turning into a bat just to be out in the sunshine to see you in a swimsuit almost makes you giggle.

“Then perhaps you will have an indoor pool?” She suggests. “You can swim no matter the weather outside.”

“Perhaps.” She seems delighted for you at the prospect so you smile. “And if we did, you would certainly be welcome to visit.”

“I would be visiting often.” She admits with a grin as she guides you back towards the parlor where the tea is being laid by one of the footmen.

If you had any intention of staying in this time, it would be an immense compliment. But as it is, you have to take the fact as what it is — if you get stuck here, then Lina Astor is a valuable ally to have. “You will be most welcome, pool or otherwise.”

“You are kind. And that is a refreshing thing to find.” She hums, smiling as she settles you both down on the sofa. “Very refreshing indeed.”

“It was an honor to receive your invitation.” It is, and you’re aware of that, but you’re still wondering why she invited you here other than the fact that you’re staying with the Browns. It’s not as though she knows you’re their granddaughter.

“Then I am happy you accepted.” The footman has disappeared, and Mrs. Astor leans forward to pick up the teapot. “It is not often I find other kindred spirits in my circle.”

“I—I’m sorry?” The comment takes you off guard, and you feel a little like a deer in headlights at the moment.

Her smile turns slightly coy and she tilts her head. “I don’t think that I’m mistaken.” She tells you conversationally. “Another time traveling witch?”

The mistake you made was reaching for the teacup that the footman had set beside you before leaving the room at exactly the moment Mrs. Astor said the words ‘time traveling’. Your hand clatters past the cup and saucer, nearly upending the small table beside you as your eyes grow as wide as dinner plates. “E—excuse—” Oh, Max is going to be so mad he isn’t here for this. “How could you possibly—?”

“Know that you aren’t from this time?” She muses and sets down the tea set to tap her brows. “You must have just waxed your brows before you travelled back.” Her eyes are flashing with intrigue. “What year had you left?”

"I—" It automatically makes you hide your hands, like she could somehow know that you had just taken off your nail polish the day before. "Um...2023..." you murmur, feeling very oddly like you've been caught by the Time Travel Police or something equally insane.

“Ohhhhhh.” She smiles excitedly and leans in. “Tell me about it, please?” There’s a plea in her voice that is barely noticeable under the excitement.

You don’t even know where to begin, swallowing hard and realizing that the conversation might not make any sense – in an insane sort of way – without context. "When...when have you, um...traveled to?" This time you manage to get the teacup firmly into your hands, but you're sure they must be shaking violently as you can't tear your eyes off the prim and proper madam of New York society.

“I think you misunderstand.” Lina shakes her head and reasons that it’s not a logical conclusion. “I was born in 1965. This is the time I travelled to.”

"What?" When you almost drop the delicate teacup all over again, you just shove it back onto the table.

“I would never have believed it myself.” She admits easily, continuing to talk. “However, how do you deny yourself in photographs from decades before you were born?” She asks. “I know some might think there a doppelgängers, historical figures that look like other people in different times, but I believe, like me, they are witches who have travelled to their proper times.”

"Does that mean...that once we travel...that we're stuck?" You ask, eyes widening impossibly yet again. "We go back to our proper time and stay there?" The possibility hadn't occurred to you, but it seems alarmingly real to hear her talk about it.

“Perhaps that it the wrong wording.” Mrs. Astor concedes. “Because I could have chosen to go back, but why would I when my soulmate was in this time?”

"I suppose that would account for the decision." The way your mind seems to be scrambled is the only thing that makes perfect sense at the moment, but shaking your head doesn't seem to set any of your thoughts straight at all – except one. "So there is a way to go back, then?"

She frowns slightly, tilting her head. “You mean you didn’t come here on purpose?” She asks softly, trying to understand why you would travel through time if not for a reason.

"It was an accident," you admit, feeling all the more amateurish for it. "I was trying to cast a protection spell and it...sort of imploded around me. Instead of banishing the person from where my soulmate and I were, it brought him here with us."

“Oh my.” Her eyes widen slightly and she knows there must be more to the story. “Hopefully, that person is no longer a bother to you and your soulmate?”

"No." A fact which has brought you no small amount of relief. "No. He certainly is not." This might be the most insane situation out of all of the insane situations you've ever found yourself in, and you lean forward in your seat unconsciously. "So..if you were born in 1965...do you mind if I ask where you were born? I'm endlessly curious now."

She grins and leans in. “California.”

"This is just...absolutely insane." The shake of your head still doesn't align your thoughts, but at least this time when you laugh in disbelief you don't feel foolish for it. "And you just...saw yourself in a history book?"

“Imagine my surprise.” She snorts and shakes her head. “But I just knew that it was me.”

"And I thought my story was crazy," you huff, exhaling like it's the biggest relief of your life.

“Believe me, there’s few who know my story.” Lina laughs, reaching over and covering your hand with your own. “How do you explain a colored rose tattoo on your pelvic bone to a man who has never even thought of a tattoo?”

“Oh my god.” Barely managing not to snort when you burst out into giggles, you cover your mouth and manage to recompose yourself. “That…that would not be easy,” you admit readily. “Although I guess at least it’s somewhere easily hidden.”

“Yes. William has accepted that I am from a different time, but my maid believes it is a strange birthmark.” She snickers.

“That is a remarkably detailed birthmark, Mrs. Astor,” you snicker softly, shaking your head. “Mine is essentially a blob.”

“Just so.” She agrees. “How are you acquainted with Mr. and Mrs. Brown, really?”

“I suppose it’s a moot point, to ask you to keep my secrets when you’ve already shared yours. We’re in this together.” And what a fucking weird person to even say that to, you think with an internal huff. “They are my grandparents. But only Mr. Brown knows who I really am.”

“Grandparents…how delightful.” She hums as she picks up your cup of tea and hands it back to you. “I expect that it’s easily possible because of your vampiric bloodline, your mother waited to give birth to you?”

“I should not be surprised that you know so much, I suppose?” It’s astonishing to you, but maybe it shouldn’t be. Doesn’t everyone have friends who keep their secrets? Especially within the magical community. “Yes. She did. She waited quite a while.”

“Your grandmother is the leader of her coven in Newport.” She reminds you. “I am the leader of the coven here. William has actually talked to your grandfather about immortality.”

“Really?” Imagining the Astors in the future makes your head spin a little, but how is it any weirder than you coming back to this time? “If you ever find yourself in 2023, come and visit.”

Picking up her own tea, she adds a sugar cube and stirs it. “Your soulmate is immortal? Or just a lucky human? I wasn’t quite able to tell.”

“Max is immortal.” And you almost laugh to yourself, thinking again how much he would love to be here for this. “My grandfather was his sire…either several years ago or it will be many years in the future. Depending on how you look at it.”

“How fascinating it all is.” She wonders, blowing on her tea and taking a small sip. “What a wonderful connection. I hope that your time here is fruitful?”

“I hope so, too.” You admit, blowing out a sigh of your own. “Of course, if I can never figure out how to get us home, our time here will be permanent.”

“Yes,” at the mention of that, Lina straightens. “That is why I asked you to tea. To get to know you, but also inquire if you are well versed in the spells.” She sets her tea down and stands, moving over to the bookcase. “I have all my own spells here, including the one to bring me to my William’s time.”

“I am not particularly well versed in any spells at all.” The idea of an Astor family grimoire piques your interest as you watch her move amongst the shelves, pulling things out quickly in a very particular order until a hidden panel in the wainscoting pops open. Of fucking course Mrs. Astor has a secret compartment for her grimoire. “My magical education came late in life.”

“The perhaps I might give you a copy?” She asks, knowing that you might not have your own family grimoire. If her own could assist you in creating one, she would be delighted.

"Are you serious?" At least the more modern phrase won't sound too foreign to her as you stare at the petite figure of Lina Astor over your teacup. "I—I mean—that would be so incredibly generous of you."

“I will start writing it out immediately.” She promises as she brings the leather-bound book over to the sofa. “By the time of your grandmother’s ball, it will be in your hands.”

"Then I suppose we're here until at least Samhain." A few weeks in 1885 won't do you any harm, but it makes your smile flicker slightly at the thought of missing your own Samhain ball. It makes you wonder how Allison and Eddie are doing – what they're doing – and if Yayo has even explained what's going on.

“Delightful.” She winks at you, even as she speaks properly. “You and I will have to have tea again then. I will call on you?”

"Any time." In the back of your mind you vaguely recall that the appropriate length of a social call in this time period is something absurd like fifteen minutes, and you figure that period must be up. "We're staying with the Cornelius Vanderbilts until Friday, then returning to Newport."

Nodding, she understands your reasoning and bites her lip. “I will be attending the opera tomorrow night, will you be attending as well?”

"My grandparents were kind enough to let us use their box." An actual box at the opera sounded like a beautiful night to you and Annie had been over the moon to bring Emmanuel to the Academy of Music. "My soulmate has never been to an opera before, so we should be in for a fun night."

“Then I will see you at intermission.” Lina decides with a warm smile. “I have to admit that I am very glad you came to tea. It had been a long time since I have talked about…things.”

"I'm glad I wasn't too nervous to accept." Standing from the sofa, you have just enough time to compose yourself before a footman steps up to the drawing room door. You can see your gloves and reticule lying on the table in the foyer and you know that that's your signal. "Thank you for having me, Mrs. Astor. I look forward to seeing you again."

“Call me Lina.” She demands softly, setting the book down and leaning in to give you a quick hug. “We are sisters after all.”

"I will see you tomorrow night, Lina." You squeeze her back gently before striding from the room and accepting your things from the footman with a smile. Whatever you had expected this visit to be, it was nothing like that at all, and you're all the more glad for it as you get into the carriage.

As soon as the door closes, the bat that had been sitting up on top of the curtain flutters down and lands in your lap, squawking.

"Well, hey Cutie pie. I know you." It's all you can do not to burst out into giggles, but you scoop Bat Max up in both hands and let him snuggle into your chest as the carriage lurches and starts off down the street to take you back to the Vanderbilt's house. "You're never going to believe the visit I just had," you tell him honestly, blowing out a deep sigh.

Max turns his head and practically sticks it down your bodice, thankful that the tea dress is lower cut than your traveling dress. Flapping his wings and squeaking in response to you.

"If you wanted to grope me, you could do it in human form," you snort, giggling at the little bat's antics. "So it turns out..." you cuddle your soulmate's animal form as the carriage bumps and jostles along the road, hand wrapped around his small body to keep him safe against you. "The legendary Mrs. Lina Astor? Is a witch."

Snuggled happily between your breasts, Max trills, hating that he has to pull away, but he can’t transform in your dress. “What?!?” He demands as soon as he is very much in a human form again, eyes bugged out in surprise.

“I swear on every god I can think of,” you promise, holding your hand up like it’s some kind of solemn oath. “But it gets crazier. She’s a fucking time traveler, too!”

“Bullshit.” Max huffs, not thinking you are a liar, but who can that be?

“I swear!” The way you practically double over cackling — or you would have doubled over if not for the corset — tells him how dead serious you are. “She was born in 1965. Saw herself in history books and knew she had to come back.”

“Isn’t that a mind fuck?” Max’s eyes widen. “One of the most historical female figures in America is a time traveler.”

“She’s going to make me a copy of her grimoire,” you murmur, voice full of awe as you lean into your soulmate’s side. “I can’t fucking believe I found another time traveler. And by accident!”

“It seems as if she recognizes something about you.” He worries about that slightly, but with Mrs. Astor as an ally, it would smooth a lot of issues for you should they arise.

“She noticed my eyebrows.” It’s such a stupid detail to you that it’s laughable, but it’s completely on point when you look at it. The fact that you had gone to the salon with Allison just the day before everything happened is what made your appearance stick out to a woman who actually knew what eyebrow waxing was. “She said she’d help me. So I can get us back safely. But…the copy of her grimoire won’t be ready until Samhain. So it looks like we have two more weeks in 1885.”

“I won’t mind that.” Max admits with an easy grin. “Although you might.” He snorts, lifting a brow. “You start your period in two weeks.”

“Pain killers in this time have cocaine and heroine. I am not taking a damn thing.” You’re not surprised at all that your blood drinking soulmate with a superhuman sense of smell already knows your cycle, so you just bypass that face completely. “I will be begging for hot chocolate, though.”

“All the hot chocolate you can drink.” He promises with a smirk. “I think your mother likes my hot chocolate too.”

“She does.” And of course he’s smug about that. He deserves to be. “But you can’t cave and give her the recipe. She used to make me Swiss Miss when I was a kid.”

“Oh no.” He huffs. “This is my secret recipe.” He insists. “You only get that when you’ve been married to me for a hundred years.”

"Real married or pretend married?" You tease, grinning as you snuggle deeper into his side.

“Real.” He snorts. “Have to make sure you’re with me for me and not my hot chocolate.” He teases. “Although, before I forget….do you want to dance tonight?”

"I'd love to." Your hand slips gently into his, fingers threading together, and you squeeze his hand in yours. With your head on his shoulder at the carriage bumps along the road, this is pretty damn close to bliss.

“Good.” Max’s fingers caress your palm. “I hired a little band of musicians to play for us after Alice said I could use the ballroom tonight.”

"You hired a band?" Reeling back to look him in the eye, your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline in surprise. "What's the occasion? Did I not know it was your birthday or something?"

“No.” If he was still living, his cheeks would be scorching hot, but he does look a little embarrassed. “Since it’s…since you want to…” he waggles his brows suggestively in an endearing immature way. “I wanted to make it special. A night you wouldn’t forget.” He also wants to show you that you deserve some to put in the effort for you.

"Honey..." Your gasp, you have realized since being with someone who doesn't need to breathe, is so uniquely human. He might be looking slightly embarrassed, but your jaw is on the floor of the carriage and tears have sprung up into your eyes as you stare at him. "You—really?" It's so far outside of the realm of what you could ever have expected that you don't even know what to say. "For...me?"

“Was it dumb?” He had been sure that you would love it. “It’s dumb. I should have asked, right?” He panics and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Dolly, I just wanted to make it special.”

"Max." Tugging on his hand slightly makes him look at you, and you shake your head fiercely even as you reach up with your free hand to touch his cheek. "That is the sweetest, most thoughtful, most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me and if we weren't already engaged I'd been asking you to marry me right here in this carriage." The watery shine in your eyes is nothing less than pure happiness and pride, and you lean forward to kiss him with soft surety. "In fact, I'm prepared to say fuck it and get married right here in 1885, just so I can proudly call you my husband for real."

He stares into your eyes for a moment, the unease fading and he bites his lip. “I just wanted you to feel special.” He admits quietly. “You are special. And I want you to believe it.”

"My whole adult life, no one has ever believed in me or loved me the way you have." It's somehow simultaneously exhilarating and humbling, the magnitude to which Max's love is worn entirely on his sleeve. It's obvious, not just evident, and you never thought that you were worth someone's entire devotion the way Max has given every ounce of himself over to loving you. "I hope I give back even half of what you do. And I'm glad we have literally all the time in the world for me to learn to love you exactly as well as you love me. Because you're special too, sweetheart."

“Of course I am.” He flashes you a smirk that is pure bravado, and more than a little facade, but he won’t argue with you. It would be pointless when you would say you weren’t worth it to him.

"I just never want you to doubt it, that's all." Max deals with his insecurities in very different ways than you do. You know that. So instead of huffing at him or rolling your eyes or anything of that sort, you just smile and kiss the corner of his mouth again.

“I knew I should have gone with you.” Max pouts, but he knows his presence might have derailed the conversation.

"Today will hardly be the last that we hear or see of Lina Astor," you remind him with a grin. "She might even pop up to 2023 to see us sometime."

“That would be pretty fucking cool.” Max muses. “Her husband has certainly made enough money to support them.”

"I don't know if he's ever actually time traveled with her, but it would be pretty fun if they popped into the future to visit." The two of you lean back again in the carriage, resting against each other's sides as it pulls around the corner of the avenue. "Can you imagine throwing a ball in 2023 and having an Astor show up?"

“No one would know who they were.” Max points out. “They could move through the time in complete anonymity.”

"Unless we find the one person who is like...an Astor family historian or something." That person must exist, you're sure of it. But thankfully, you definitely don't know them. Although if you did? That would be an interesting introduction. "You do know that if I get my time traveling down as well as hers, we could do that, too?"

“Has she travelled to other times as well?” He asks, confused as he wonders. Could that explain why the Astors had a golden touch in business?

"Visits are so short here that I didn't really have time to ask," you admit sheepishly. "But I offered for her to come and visit us in our time and she didn't immediately shut me down or anything, so I have to think it's possible. It's magic not like...a wormhole or a tear in the space-time continuum, right? So theoretically a witch who can master it should be able to pick their destination just like Marty McFly plugging a date into the Delorian."

“Do they make it in a broom model?” Max jokes, chuckling at his own humor when you roll your eyes. “It’s funny and you know it.”

“I’m getting a bumper sticker for abuela’s fancy car when we get home,” you inform him, laughing under your breath at your own bad joke. “My Other Ride Is a Broom.”

“You would not put a sticker on that car.” Max is horrified in a decidedly male way about that, his eyes wide and anguished. “My car’s probably been towed off, or stolen.”

“I’m sure Yayo had it picked up. After all— he knows where we are.” The carriage rolls to a stop and you stretch as much as your dress allows. “Home sweet temporary home.”

“What a temporary home it is.” Max snorts, admiring the grandeur of the facade. “I could see having a gothic style architecture if we were here permanently. Play up the spooky vibes.”

“Maybe we should build a house anyway,” you joke with a grin. “Come and go as we like once I figure out how to get us back and forth.”

“Which house in history has an ambiguous past?” Max asks, lifting a brow curiously.

“There’s a lot of them.” Off the top of your head there’s things like Boldt Castle in New York and the Winchester Mystery House. “And I bet Yayo would take care of it for us.”

“Hmmmm.” Max is thoughtful a moment before he shrugs one shoulder. “Perhaps it’s one of ours.” He tells you. “Stranger things have happened.”

“Maybe we’ll get back and Mrs. Taylor will hand us an extra set of keys.” The thought makes you grin, and the carriage jostles just as one is the Vanderbilt’s footmen comes out to open the door and lend you a hand. What seemed unnecessary and dramatic in period films now makes perfect sense. If you didn’t have help getting out of this carriage you’d never be able to find the sidewalk for all the dress you have to wear.

Max managed to turn into a bat before the footman opened the door. That way he will not cause any questions amongst the staff about how he wasn’t with you and then he was. Luckily for stealth, the dips and flounces hide your bat-ified soulmate from sight and you just climb the steps into the house neatly after saying thank you to the footman without anyone being any wiser.

Max smirks a batty little smirk and clings to the folds of your outfit, enjoying being carried into the house with no one the wiser.

******

When Mrs. Vanderbilt also falls in love with an idea, she isn’t one to sit on it. Max asking for the ballroom to dance with his bride sounded like the most thoughtful and romantic thing that she had ever heard of. She had pointed him in the direction of a small orchestra, and had personally gone to the kitchen to have the idea of a dinner for two planned out with the cook with a footman assigned to serve the quiet meal.

There were flowers everywhere. She must have sent Renee out to purchase every flower from every corner within a ten block radius. Bouquets of them set around a small garden table that has been laid out for two, a champagne bucket beside it. The candles and glass lanterns low enough to give the enormous room a romantic, intimate glow. You had been hustled through another bath, a fresh ball gown that had to come from somewhere, although you don’t remember seeing it amongst your purchases even though it is vaguely familiar, and some of Alice’s own jewels around your neck when you are escorted into the room to find Max waiting for you. His own bath done and his tailored tuxedo making him look every inch the dashing, handsome vampire that he is.

“This is a lot more than just dancing…” you gasp, one gloved hand going straight to your heart as you look around. The Vanderbilt’s expansive ballroom looks like it has been taken over by a fairy kingdom with the way it overflows with blossoms, and you look to Max in awe. “It’s stunning, love. You’re… you’ve…” There really aren’t words for the way your heart swells in your chest, and you walk over to him with sure steps to wrap your arms around him. “My soulmate is the sweetest man in the whole world,” you murmur against his chest.

“I didn’t do all this.” Max admits with a shake of his head. “I just mentioned that I wanted it to be special.”

“No?” You pull back from him, incredulous, and look around then down at yourself. “This dress?”

“Well…” he shrugs. “I asked Alice if there is a dress that was suitable for a night of dancing.”

“So I need to write Alice the world’s best thank you note for hosting us. That’s what you’re saying?” Looking at the pair of you together in the nearby mirrored wall paneling, though, your eyes widen in recognition. “I know this dress!” You realize just a second later.

“Really?” Max frowns for a moment and tilts his head. “From where?”

“From the attic.” Your eyes are wide when you look back at him and you practically giggle. “The day that we all dressed up and went to the mansion?” It seems like years and years ago that you were first getting to know the girls in the Newport coven, and the pang of missing them hits deeply. “Allison wore this.”

“How interesting.” He guides you over to the table and pulls out a chair for you to sit down.

"I guess it goes to show that this was supposed to happen?" When he sits down across from you, the two of you exchange a shared, soft smile. "Maybe we shouldn't be surprised anymore? Since life has thrown us so many curveballs already."

“It’s been nothing but adventure since you’ve arrived.” Max admits with a chuckle. “But I’ve enjoyed the ride. How about you?”

"I wouldn't change a single thing." And you really wouldn't. Even the parts filled with uncertainty or fear have brought you closer together, but more than anything he has given you strength and confidence that you never had before. Loving Max has made you a better person, inside and out. "And I'm very excited for every adventure that is still to come."

Smirking proudly, Max takes the bottle of champagne from the bucket and looks at it and then at you. “Sweetheart….do you want me to have this taken away?” He asks softly. “I don’t think Alice knew.”

"If you want to have some, it's okay." He likely won't, having insisted since the day he found out why you don't drink that he will abstain right along with you. But it's also not like this meal will hold much interest for him considering his preferred diet, so you give him the choice.

The bottle goes back in the bucket and he shakes his head. “I’m good.” He knows that you wouldn’t want any, but he always wants to continue to make sure that you know that if you want to have some again, you have that option.

The footman, confused by the turn of phrase, seems to understand that champagne will not be necessary and steps forward to remove the ice bucket and its contents. “I’ll let Alice know that we don’t drink alcohol when I thank her for tonight,” you tell Max. “It’s…all of this is absolutely beautiful.”

“Whatever you want to tell her, baby.” Max from before would offer advice, but he has learned that you just want to explain and not have your feelings or ideas overruled. “Tonight is about you and I want it to be perfect.”

"Tonight is about us." It's about growing closer and about this last, large step forward. You can't be sure if it's taken longer than you thought or far less time than you would have imagined, but having now spent enough nights actually sleeping with Max along with getting to know him, the time for euphemistic sleeping together feels exciting.

He might not feel that way, but he doesn’t argue. Knowing that it’s important for you that he also be included. His soulmate is actually very considerate and he is grateful for that. “Do you want to eat before we dance?” He asks with a grin. “Or work up an appetite?”

"I would hate to interrupt the chef's schedule." According to your abuela, meals in this time are a well-orchestrated dance all in their own right, and you look to the footman for any kind of confirmation or denial of a firm schedule existing. "Might we have time for a turn or two before the meal begins?"

The man smiles at the question, thinking briefly, and almost bows to you with his deep nod. "I will make sure of it, Mrs. Phillips. Please, enjoy yourselves," he says before excusing himself.

The tails of the tuxedo are something that Max believes should still be around in his own time, flicking them out as he stands and glides around the table. “Will you waltz with me, Mrs. Phillips?” He asks, bowing as any gentleman of the time would. Your Yayo had spent time to make sure that Max fit in and did not make any social blunders.

"Mr. Phillips, I would be delighted." You're both up and out of your chairs again, and the leader of the small band that has been hired takes Max's cue to strike up a lively but simple waltz. The man clearly took working up an appetite literally, and you have to smile as Max puts one hand around your waist and draws you in close – a perfect ballroom frame supporting both of you in place before he leads you into the dance.

Like every time Max has danced with you, he is struck by how seamless it is. It’s as if you and he become one at that moment and move in perfect coordinated unison. There’s not a split second’s hesitation, no faltering. Working easily as if you had been partners for a lifetime, which one day will be true.

The swells in the music become dips and turns, the swaying of your frame in Max's keeping you in time and making sure no feet ever get stepped on. The movement is smooth as silk and completely entrancing, although you know that some of your favourite moves are impossible in a gown this large. All that matters is that you and Max stay connected, moving together with fluidity and grace. Sometimes it feels like the happiest you've ever been are these moments dancing with Max, and you wonder if tonight might somehow equal that or make it feel even more magical than it already does.

The mood is already romantic, the music and the dance coupled with the lighting and what both of you know is to come. It’s fairy tale quality and still Max wishes for more. Wanting you to remember tonight forever, looking back at the moment that you truly became his and he became yours. For all his easy flirtations and past liaisons, he wants to continue to romance his soulmate, for everyday to be an opportunity for you to fall more in love with him.

"You're thinking awfully hard about something," you murmur when he pulls you back to his chest after a turn. His expression of concentration is so easy to pick out, and always makes you want to smooth your thumb over his forehead to soothe the creases away.

“Thinking about you.” He admits easily. “How you deserve so much more. How special you are.” He knows you will protest, but he will just have to dance with you more.

"The perfect example of why we're soulmates." Humming softly, you squeeze his shoulder with your off hand and offer him a soft smile. "We think the world of each other and nothing of ourselves." He has masked it with bravado for pretty much his entire life, but when it comes down to it, he has just as many issues with how he perceives himself as you do. "I love you, Max. Completely. You're the most special thing in the world to me, so if I'm as special as you say we're a hell of a team."

The words are the soft, sweet ones that he has craved his entire life and he savors them. Tucking you against his body and closing his eyes. “We are a hell of a team.” He insists. “Now we just need to find out what dancing between the sheets looks like for us.”

He manages to say it quietly enough that it doesn't echo across the ballroom, keeping it for your ears only, and you giggle with soft delight. You're actually excited for this, which isn't something that you were sure you would ever feel again. "I think it'll be very rhythmic," you tease.

He chuckles and nods. “A steady, continuous rhythm.” He promises. Unlike any previous lovers, Max doesn’t get tired. Any changes in the pace would be because he fumbles or he wants to change, not because he’s unable to keep it up.

"Mr. Phillips, I think that counts as scandalous," you hum, fanning yourself with your own hand dramatically and wishing that just this once you actually had one of those fancy hand fans to tease him with.

"You would faint in shock at all the scandalous things that I would do to you, Dolly." Max snorts playfully, sending you a hot look as he dips you low and presses his face into your breasts before slowly dragging you upright again.

“Maybe I would.” Considering there is an entire group of strangers in the room, you demure a little even though you’re shivering with anticipation on the inside. “Perhaps I am terribly proper and ladylike and this is where I’ve belonged all along.”

“I can see that.” He growls, flashing his fangs at you playfully for a split second. “And I am the wicked vampire ready to defile you.”

When you giggle and have to smother a snort, it’s because you’re sure that anyone overhearing this would assume you were really into sexy role playing or at least fantasy foreplay. When the fact is, it’s just who you are. A little silly, a lot romantic, and entirely devoted to making each other happy.

Around the room, your skirts swish and sway as he leads you. Speeding up and then slowing down along with the music. His eyes always on you as he twirls you around the dance floor. Aware that some of the Vanderbilt staff have peeked in, but it doesn't bother him, never minding an audience.

They're peaking in from around the corner screen and through the pocket doors at the end of the room, and you're dimly aware of their presence without ever minding it for a single second. Renee is probably with them, which makes you smile, and you hope she is enjoying the attention of fielding all sorts of questions about Miss Brown's mysterious new friends.

Max spins you again, taking this as seriously as any dance competition. He’s not expecting perfection but it seems that together, you move flawlessly. Making him proud of your abilities and he beams as he pulls you close again.

When the song draws to a close, Max holds you close to his chest instead of going for some dramatic end pose, letting the last strains of music fade away with you held fast to him as your heart beats wildly out of time. After a moment you become dimly aware of a soft clapping and glance over at the band, all of whom are politely applauding your performance. Your cheeks burn hot instantly and you laugh, but curtsy. It must not be often that they get a private show like this.

Max grins, proud of you and his movement shows it as he guides you back to the table for the first course. “My little ballroom dancer.” He coos softly. “So perfect.”

“I’m just following your lead, love,” you remind him softly. There is nothing but pure love in your eyes.

“Nothing I love more than to lead you around the dance floor, and hopefully something more tonight.” He smirks slightly and helps you sit down.

“I think we’ve moved past hope and into certainty.” As you sit down you give his hand a squeeze. You’re ready. Completely ready.

“Never want you to feel like you can’t end things immediately.” Max sits down and he immediately reaches for your hand.

“I know.” And you appreciate it more than you can say. “But I don’t think that will be the case.” If you’re honest, you’ve started to crave the closeness of him, so tonight is exactly what you want.

“I guarantee it won’t.” He winks at you playfully. “But I do want my wife to tell me exactly what she expects of her husband.”

“I promise.” And you will. Just…not where an army of servants can overhear every detail. That conversation is reserved for when you’re actually alone.

He can see the way your eyes flicker to the staff and he hums. “As you wish, Queenie.”

Dinner is gorgeous. An intricate dance all its own, executed with a precision that you really have to admire. Alice’s staff is amazing and the food is to die for. The band plays several more lovely songs for you, and you and Max dance well into the night. When you finally thank them for their time and go upstairs for the evening, you feel like you’re floating on air.

Max marvels at how warm and soft your hand is in his. Waiting for you to start sweating or even get slightly clammy from nerves, but you never do. Just soft sighs of happiness and beguiling smiles as you look over at him. "Tired, sweetheart?"

"Not at all." You've said goodnight to Renee and to Emmanuel's valet already, telling them you don't need help getting ready to sleep tonight, and that leaves just you and Max alone in your room together with a fire to keep you warm. "I do want to go to bed, though."

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon   @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo

VW: @haileymorelikestupid, @miraclesabound @nastiasnow @vabeachazn @oberynslady @grogusmum @kittenlittle24 @8-900 @survivingandenduring @ktmadden86 @inept-the-magnificent @missladym1981 @sweetnsaltyclussy @survivingandenduring

My Masterlist!

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Max Phillips #Max Phillips x reader #Max Phillips x you #Max Phillips x female reader #Max Phillips x f!reader #Bloodsucking Bastards #soulmate au #time travel #mysterious inheritance #witches #vampires #it's the Gilded Age bitches!

[aaknopf]

A poem of girlhood and after by Indigenous New Zealander Tayi Tibble, whose second collection, Rangikura, comes out in America today. In the dictionary of Māori language, hōmiromiro is defined as “a white-breasted North Island tomtit…a little black-and-white bird with a large head and short tail.” It is often used to refer to someone with a tomtit’s keen vision—that is, a sharp eye for detail.

Hōmiromiro

I used to dream about a two-headed goldfish. I took it for an omen. I smashed a milk bottle open

on a boiling road and watched a three-legged dog lick it up and in the process I became not myself but a single shard of glass and thought finally

I had starved myself skinny enough to slip into the splits of the universe but once I did I realised that the universe was no place for a young thing to be and there is always a lot more starving to be had.

When I was a girl I thought

I was Daisy Buchanan. I read on the train. I made voluminous eyes.

Once I walked in front of a bus and it exploded into a million monarch butterflies then I was ecstatic!

As a girl, I could only fathom

time as rose petals falling down my oesophagus. It tickled and it frightened me. I ran around choking for attention.

I had projections of myself at 100 my neck weathered and adorned like the boards of a home being eaten by the earth.

When I was a girl I would lie

on the side of that road in the last lick of sun and wait for the rabbits to come saluting the sky of orange dust

and then I would shoot them into outer space.

For many years I watched them bouncing on the moon. But then I stopped caring and so I stopped looking.

More on this book and author:

Learn more about Rangikura by Tayi Tibble.

Browse other books by Tayi Tibble and follow her on Instagram @paniaofthekeef.

Hear Tayi Tibble and Harryette Mullen read from their new poetry collections at Beyond Baroque in Los Angeles, CA on April 10 at 8:00 PM. Tayi Tibble will be joined by Sasha LaPointe in Washington for a series of readings and conversations at Elliot Bay Book Company in Seattle on April 13 at 7:00 PM, at King's Books in Tacoma on April 14 at 1:00 PM, at Bainbridge Island Museum of Art in Bainbridge on April 15 at 7:00 PM, and at Third Place Books in Seattle, Lake Forest Park, on April 16 at 7:00 PM. Tayi and Sasha will also be at Broadway Books in Portland, OR, on April 17 at 6:00 PM. Tayi will be at the LA Times Book Festival signing books at the ALTA booth (Booth 111) on April 20 at 11:00 AM.

Visit our Tumblr to peruse poems, audio recordings, and broadsides in the Knopf poem-a-day series.

To share the poem-a-day experience with friends, pass along this link.

#TibbleAudio #poetry #knopf #poem-a-day #knopf poetry #national poetry month #poetry month #knopfpoetry #poem #tayi tibble #rangikura #homirmiro

[womenaremypriority]

Headless Women Art in the Sims 4

This has little to do with the actual game, so this should be understandable to anyone!  I wanted to share this.  

If you don’t know what ‘headless women art’ is, it refers to a trend in which women are depicted without heads in art and decorations.  This disproportionately affects women and the excuse is generally that it is body-positive, but the feminist argument is that is dehumanizing and normalizes women as unthinking objects.  Here are some examples via @thatsonemorbidcorvid :

Now she has many examples in drawings and paintings, but in my collection, I sticked to objects- which I find more creepy, less defensible, with less male counterparts.  

In the Sims 4, you can build houses.  You can create and download custom objects for your game, and you can download houses which have these custom objects.  I’m not sure about the actual, official game, but when you download custom, fan-made content- this stuff is EVERYWHERE. Recently, I’ve been obsessing over looking at different buildings people have made for the game, but I got so tired of seeing this type of art that I started to collect it.  I have counted examples of men vs women.  Using the same standard of what counts as headless art, I found 22 men and 117 women- still a considerable amount of men, but as a trend heavily geared towards women.  There were a few that are debatable, usually because it was unclear whether male or female.  There were some that I debated counting because while technically having a face, they still felt as if they could count- but to keep it simple, I didn’t. When it comes to headless people in art such a paintings and drawings, I found it to be pretty equal, and didn’t count any towards the count.  I noticed that women are usually more sexualized in general art such as this, however.  For fairness, I will add that busts and sculptures that were just heads, it appeared to be mostly men, which could be argued is also dehumanizing/ornamentive.  However, for the most part, these men were given expressions and a face.  And when it came to full-body sculptures, it appeared equal as well.   Anyways, behold… headless women art.

There are a bunch of duplicates in my count, the same objects used multiple times.  I found about ~18 unique headless women and about ~7 unique men- it’s a bit hard to tell the exact number though.  For the men, 3 of the 7 showed up only once, 3 showed up two times, and the other object made up all the other appearances of headless men.  

Notice how similar the in-game objects look like the actual ones- I think some of them might be modeled after real-life art too.

Now, here are some the men.

9/22 times a man appears, a woman does, as well.  Either because they are placed together, or because they are part of the same object, like in the second photo above.

Out of the 7 headless male pieces, at least 3 looked less like they were intended to be placed in a house as-is and more like very old objects, such as the one below. But to be fair, these only showed up a couple times. I considered not adding to the main count ones were museum objects or in art workshops, things that may not be finished or “complete” but did so anyway. There were a couple of those for male and female. Here is one such.

Here is one that I wasn’t sure about including or not.

This photo is a bit blurry, and I couldn’t in good conscience count it- maybe most people would, as it’s a humanoid shape more female in appearance than male, but the quality isn’t good and there’s enough room for doubt. I wanted to be sure I was fair. There’s a bunch of tinier things next to it that could also be headless art but are even harder to make out.

These figures appear to be breasts, but again, room for doubt. I’m honestly not sure the intention, but if you want to add them to the count, it appeared 6 times.

These weird legs showed up twice. Honestly, they’re very close to being counted.

Now, this does show a bit of face, but since it’s still somewhat covered and degrading in nature, I considered adding it. It showed up thrice The problem is that I don’t think I saved photos whenever I saw similar things for men, and so can’t accurately count. To be clear, I don’t think I saw anything for men that was the same as this or similar, but there were some that had only half a face. Here is one example that was next to a headless women.

There is the male-looking face with plants coming out of it, which I saw quite a few times. There were a couple like that for women, but the question is, if I count the lamp women, do I count this? The main difference is he has eyes, and most of his head is there, giving him individuality, so can’t really be classified as headless. I can’t count these, but I can say there wasn’t really an equivalent for men other than the weird object I showed before with a man and a woman, that could be interpreted as a lamp I suppose.

There’s also whatever this is supposed to be, which I saw twice. A less obsessive person would probably count it, I didn’t. At first I thought it had breasts, but it might be eyes. I will also note that I saw plenty of headless mannequins and silhouettes, virtually all coded female, but didn’t count those. Here’s some other… interesting things.

Does she have a head? Yes. But is this objectifying? Also yes. And again, there were plenty of male fall-body statues, as well as female, but those were dignifying and artistic in nature. But among these types of high-art, modern objects like this, where you have to wonder the point, all I remember are female. They all appear in an unnatural manner. There are a few male-looking heads as well, however-

Here’s what I would consider the closest alternative for men. You can even see the second photo has much of their face missing, as much as the women with the lamp head! Is this as dehumanizing? You decide. There were a few statues of women that were just heads, but none as big and not as many that had missing pieces like this.

None of this is in the final count, but it’s something I found interesting to think about. The last 3 pictures were all made by the same person, but I’ve seen stuff like this used in buildings from other people. I didn’t save everything like this, so I can’t compare or count how many appeared, this was just a couple I remember. Anyways, that’s it! I thought it was super crazy. When I decided to start counting, I thought it would take a while to find any headless women art but it didn’t, at all. Most of what I have screenshots of is the more realistic style of building, because that’s what I prefer, but near the end I started looking more into styles that match the original games graphics. There was probably a higher ratio of men to women when compared to the other style, but still more women in general. This is a plague for real.

#my post #radical feminism #radfem #radblr #feminism #feminist #Misogyny #objectification #Sims 4 #Games #headless women art

[cressthebest]

Art Heist, Baby! Thoughts pt. 8

chapter 22:

1. sirius is fully committing to the heist, and the hole in my heart is slowly patching itself

2. sirius being challenged with the heist again after going so long with the poor substitute of catching art heists- this does something to me

3. regulus is proud that sirius got to grow his hair out like he wanted. sobbing still

4. Oh. it’s the museum again. with THAT painting. this. this is *the* ahb painting AGAIN

5. OH REG IS SHARING THE NIGHT SIRIUS GOT SHOT STORY TO JAMES GODDAMN

6. regulus will try to be good, just for james. he wants to be enough for james, and will never stop trying, but james always knows that reg is enough

chapter 23:

1. james tbinks that getting to know regulus is a privilege. holy shit hold up.

2. they’re so soft, wait

3. atp it’s a necessity to hear reg’s voice

4. james teasing regulus while reg is driving is 😳. ALSO reg is not good at driving to begin with. lord help them 😭😭😭

5. 😳😳😳 they’re getting spicy. but also, like, so me fr

6. okay, the way that they all make references to their canon animagi are fantastic. i particularly like how remus compares sirius’ stubborn attitude to a dog licking his wounds.

7. WOLFSTAR IS CURED WOLFSTAR IS BACK TOGETHER WOLFSTAR IS CANON

8. 😳😳 now wolfstar is getting at it

9. also, do yourself a favor and go read chapter 23 end notes. masterpiece.

chapter 24:

1. starting the chapter off with jegulus smut i see

2. james’ antler tattoo 😳

3. james is the only one for regulus, i’m sobbing

4. “Most of anything Regulus thought about these days revolved around James. That’s what he gets, he supposed, for falling for the sun. It was only natural.” AHHHHHHHHH. there’s a million things i want to quote from ahb, so i have to be selective, but WOW

5. they’re planning their house together in brazil. sobbing fr rn. arguments over green or red shutters. they’re gonna live together. i’m about to start blubbering wiat ajesjfnsksjdsldj

6. 😳 remus caught them. uh live laugh love

7. REMUS AND JAMES ARE GOSSIPING ABOUT THEIR LOVE LIFE, ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD!! both of them proud for scoring the black brothers. goddamn, that’s an accomplishment

8. DORLENE!!! getting married in italy!!!!

9. barty calling jegulus sluts <3

10. ahb peter <33333

11. SHOVEL TALKS. i live for these

12. barty and evan are reg’s found family brothers and i stand by that for life.

#jegulus #marauders #james potter #mwpp #mwpp era #regulus black #art heist baby #ao3 #fanfic #remus lupin #cress' ahb reviews #remus x sirius #sirius black #sirius orion black #sirius and regulus #wolfstar #jegulus smut #THAT ahb scene #everything is going as planned again #thank god #dorlene #barty crouch jr #evan rosier

[chrollohearttags]

it's ☃️ here again and I have more questions but reverb edition bc I love how 3 dimensional the characters are...

1. Now what is rapper!connie's true IDEALL type (if he actually has one). like he's immediately folding and falling to his knees because she's everything he wants type shit.

2. Do any of the pole assassins ladies swing the other way perchance...? IDK if you mentioned this but i'm getting a vibe...perchance.

3. What are mika and jean's favorite things about one another?

4. How would eren react to being posted on the shaderoom and having them get in his business? I recently saw a video of summer walker flipping the shaderoom off and I screamed 😭😭

5. IDK if you didn't go into detail but is sasha an influencer here as well or an artist?

6. Does eren like any other forms of art besides music/writing in this universe? I don't feel EJ is the type to like go walk a museum (or maybe he is) but I feel he definitely holds some appreciation for like visual arts yk??

7. Is influencer!y/n any good at games? I remember you mentioning him being a gamer and I had the idea of him teaching her to play madden or COD or some shit and her being sooo bad to the point where he gets a little upset bc no way you're this bad at the game.

once again that is all the questions my brain has come up with, until next time *fades off into background*

hello again, snowanon!! 🤍 I swear you always come with the best asks. I’m actually working on reverb right now so thanks for this! (sorry these took so long btw!)

1. now Connie isn’t the type of dude to discriminate when it comes to the ladies. He loves them all but he will undoubtedly fall in love (and maybe propose on the spot) for a tall women or BBW. he loves him a girl who’s taller than him or a plus size lady. I’d say his range is anywhere from Meg to Lizzo. But he really just a loves a woman who can make him laugh. Somebody he can clown with.

2. Yes 3/5 do in fact! 😭 our girl (y/n) is bisexual. Eren is honestly the only man she loves. Niesha is pansexual + Syrai is lesbian. Kelley and Brianne have only ever dated men but they’re not against the idea of being with a woman!

3. omg I literally love these two so much and I hadn’t had a chance to elaborate yet but Jean and Mika are each other’s saving graces, dramatic as it sounds. Jean helped Mika stand up for herself when she felt powerless and she helped him realize his dream and that he was worth more than being on the sidelines. I think Jean’s favorite thing about Mika is her determination and how smart she is. If she wants something done, nothing can stop her. She’s headstrong but she’s soft in the same turn. Not in a weak way or that she wants to be babied but she’s so compassionate and emotional about the things + people she loves. As for Mika, she loves how much of a natural leader Jean is. He’s dominating but in the best way possible. He knows she can handle her own business but she doesn’t have to when he’s around. She can be comfortable in her feminine energy without feeling weak. All in all, they just compliment one another so well!

4. LMAO! the day Eren ever ends up on the ShadeRoom, everybody’s getting their feelings hurt. 😭 what makes it so bad is that it would probably be for some dumb shit, like them trying to messy about he and (y/n)’s relationship and now he gotta cuss everybody and their family dog out :(

5. so the next few chapters are going to feature Sasha heavily but my baby is actually Mikasa’s assistant for the time being. Her ultimate goal is to do music, more so as like a country hip-hop artist. She’s basically mentoring under her and Jean both.

6. Eren does have a great appreciation for other art forms. He has a few unique and expensive paintings in his home and he himself loves to draw. Many of his tattoo pieces are artworks of his. He also enjoys stage plays, shockingly! (he’s really a theater kid cosplaying as a delinquent, don’t let him fool you 😭😭) but he enjoys reading from time to time as well.

7. okay listen! my sis be giving it her all to beat this man LMAO. Eren is so damn competitive that he can’t just play shit for fun, he makes everyone want to fight him. But the one game he does NAWT want to see her in is Tekken. That’s been her favorite series since she was a kid and she gives him the work every single time.

#cherry’s asks 🍒 #nonnies 🍒🌹 #thank you again for these nonnie <3 #I love when y’all pick my brain. reverb has been a lot to write but I love it so much #aot x black reader #musician x influencer au #eren x black fem!reader #aot au #black fem reader #eren jaeger #eren jaeger x black reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger aot #eren jaeger headcanons #connie springer #connie springer x black reader #mikasa ackerman #jean kirschstein #jeankasa #sasha braus #musician au #reverb series #aot headcanons #aot modern au #black reader #queued posts #scheduled post #snk au #snk headcanons #connie headcanons

[colleendoran]

Register now for Chasing the Grail: Artist Talk with Colleen Doran on Tuesday, June 20 from 6:30-7:30pm (EST). This is a free online Zoom event. Click the link to register. Please join us for an online artist’s talk illuminating the work of virtuoso comic artist Colleen Doran as seen in the Society’s current exhibition Colleen Doran Illustrates Neil Gaiman. Curator Kim Munson (Comic Art in Museums) will talk with Doran about her career, technique, and working with Neil Gaiman on the best-selling Dark Horse graphic novels Chivalry, Snow, Glass, Apples, and Troll Bridge.

#Society of Illustrators #NYC #Colleen Doran #Comics #Graphic Novel #Artist Talk #Neil Gaiman #Dark Horse Comics #Chivalry #Snow Glass Apples #troll bridge

[morallyinept]

A full transcribe of MARCUS PIKE'S dialogue/lines from the TV show THE MENTALIST

Includes full dialogue, and dialogue from any deleted/additional scenes available.

I've created this as a point of reference when writing for Pedro's characters, and I hope you find it useful. Even if you just want to read the dialogue. 🖤

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

☝🏻Dialogue has been fully transcribed by myself using reference to original scripts (if available), audio subtitles and using my own two ears. Therefore, mistakes can be made, however I have tried to be as fully accurate as I can. If you spot an obvious mistake, please kindly let me know. Where audio is not clear, I have marked with *inaudible* Scenes are separated for ease of reference.

FULL SCRIPT DIALOGUE: (ALL EPISODES - MARCUS WAS IN 6 EPISODES IN SEASON 6 AND 1 EPISODE IN SEASON 7)

EP 16, S6 VIOLETS

Mrs Hennigan, why was your husband trying to save this painting in particular? 

We’ll do our best to get it back for you. 

I’m special agent Marcus Pike, this is agent Searles. You’re… Patrick Jane, right? Abbot’s guy?

What makes you say that?

Sure. I’ve heard good things about you. We’d be happy to have your input. These guys, they’re… they’re really good. And our cases don’t usually lead to homicide. 

__________________

Art thieves used to be about sneaking. Night time break-ins. Not anymore. The new generation prefers guns. This guy is the leader. He does the talking, runs the show. But until yesterday morning, he’s never killed anybody. They’ve done about six jobs between Dallas and Phoenix in the last two years, taking down about one hundred million worth in art and artefacts. 

Stolen art can take a long time to sell. So our guess is they’re sitting on a lot of the art, including the paintings from yesterday's heist. 

Well, they’ve only slipped up once. We found a glove a few blocks from a gallery they robbed in Phoenix. We managed to get a partial print and we got a hit. Aaron Polaski. Time for armed robbery and battery, he’s also the former middleweight boxing champ at Fulsom prison. 

Yeah, we brought him in for questioning but he lawyered up quick and told the CIP. These guys are pros. 

We do, but nothings popped. Doesn't seem to have a lot of friends. He hangs out a lot at a bar on sixth street. 

So, how do we do that?

I don’t know what any of that means. 

__________________

I always feel a little bit like Aladdin right here. 

It’s stolen.

Sometimes we just get part of a haul. We sit on the art so the crooks don’t know we have a lead and we keep it here while we investigate the rest of it. 

Well, we keep a pretty tight lid. Our own secret museum. 

No. Just, once or twice… 

Well, I-I don’t wanna second guess you, Mr Jane, but if you wanna use these paintings as bait, the guy running this crew knows a lot about art, he’ll know this stuff is stolen. 

__________________

We ready?

What the hell’s that?

He asked him for some napkins, so?

__________________

No, he's gonna do it… watch. 

There you go. 

__________________

Pass the rice, please. 

It’s a drug forfeiture. On loan from the DEA. So, what’s the story with Jane and Lisbon? 

No, I mean are they in a relationship? A couple?

It’s going good. You got a nice red cross. 

Yeah. 

__________________

This is Pike.

Okay, well, we, uh… we shut down the inside cameras, so you don’t have to worry about any more prying eyes, and just so you know there is someone outside the house, we’re guessing it’s another one of McCabe’s crew. 

No, we’ve got eyes on ‘em. Don’t worry. You’re safe. I wouldn’t lie to you. 

Well you’re… you were real good. 

Well, that’s a shame. There’s a pretty good diner just down the street from you. Biscuits and gravy, if that’s your thing. 

Alright, well what about pancakes? 

They have about six kinds; chocolate chip, banana, all that good stuff. 

Maybe, just a… little bit. I can have some sent over to you. 

No, you’re right I won’t tease you anymore. I won’t even mention the waffles. 

Right, well I don’t know what a canape is, but bon appetit. Goodnight, Lisbon. 

__________________

This is the part I don’t understand; we’re not gonna rob the museum?

Why not? I mean, he robs the paintings from the museum, we catch them red handed, case closed. We all go home. 

Then why is he at the museum with Jane?

__________________

How is it?

You probably like that Chicago style stuff, right?

Hmm… I'm not really in the mood for pizza. You know what sounds good? Those pancakes we were talking about before. 

Do you wanna go?

Yeah. Dinner is the best time for breakfast. What do you say?

Look, if you don’t wanna go, just say so. We’re cool. It’s good, but I like you, and I think you’re a hell of a good looking woman and I’d love to get to know you better. 

Let’s go. 

__________________

Uh… well, uh… Y-you-

__________________

EP 18 S6 FOREST GREEN

Hey. 

Coffee?

I made you breakfast. 

Well when there’s a guest, I like to make a fuss. 

Yeah?

It’s just work stuff. Listen, I was wondering if we could get dinner tonight? Or… is that weird because we went out last night? Is-is two nights in a row weird?

Okay, good. I’ll make a reservation. 

Well, like I said, I like to make a fuss. 

Yeah.

__________________

I came looking for you, but they said you’re still in the woods. I’m disappointed. 

No problem. What’s holding you up?

Have your people tried accessing a forestry satellite? They’re imaging that area all the time looking for fire outbreaks. 

I used one once to find a guy who was running with some stolen Frederick Remmingtons. 

Bye.

__________________

No, it’s okay. I took another girl out to dinner last night instead. 

Yeah.

Gladys. Eg-Eg-Egbert. 

It’s the best I could do in the spur of the moment. 

Oh, well, I’m glad. I’m a lousy liar, so you’re right. Actually, there’s uh, something I wanted to tell you. 

That work stuff, it’s actually a promotion. The Bureau is forming a task force to deal with international art theft. It’ll be working with Scotland Yard and a few other agencies. Long story short, they, uh, they-they want me to run it. Yeah, but they want me to run it from DC. 

So, I’m telling them no.

Well, I’m allowed. 

I’m not a kid. I’ve been married and divorced. I know when something’s real. And when it could get serious. I feel that way about us. Do you… feel that way? 

Look, one thing I know is that when you feel that way about someone, you gotta hang on ‘cause… because it doesn't happen very often. 

I know. It’s okay. 

What if you came with me? 

I’m asking what if we went to DC, you and me, together? What do you think of that, Teresa? 

__________________

EP 19 S6 BROWN EYED GIRLS

You fell asleep. 

So listen, urm… turns out my old band’s playing a gig downtown tonight. Do you wanna go? 

I never told you I was in a band?

Bass. Vocals. 

Yeah?

Okay then. We need a cab. 

Was that “do you like butter with your popcorn” or “will you come with me to DC?”

I understand, a hundred per cent. Take your time, there’s no deadline. 

You’re welcome. 

Go ahead. 

__________________

I got some Thai from that place over on South Congress. 

I know. 

Not really, I have an ulterior motive. Just trying to make DC look attractive. 

Yeah… yeah… 

__________________

Hey. 

Guess what? That show we missed the other night. They’re playing another one in forty-five minutes, we can catch it if… if you guys are done?

See ya, Patrick. 

__________________

Am I interrupting?

I heard about your grand jury. I’m pulling for you. But I think you did what any good father and husband would do. 

__________________

EP 20 S6 II TOVOLO BIANCO

Oh. Oh look, Casablanca’s on. “Here’s looking at you, kid.” You know Bogart made that line up? It wasn’t in the script. 

What? Are you serious? 

This is not an old movie! This is a classic, you gotta watch this. You’re gonna love it. 

Is everything okay?

Well, Teresa, I may not be able to read minds like Jane, but even I can tell when something’s going on. 

Do you wanna talk about it?

Just wanna say that I know that moving to DC is a big thing and it might raise issues you don’t feel totally comfortable talking to me about, but I just want you to know it’s okay. You go through whatever process you need to, just… let me know when you make a decision. I’ll be here. 

Well, various things, but basically it’s a love story about a woman who has to choose between two men. There’s also a baseball game on. 

Yeah, let’s do that. 

__________________

Jane?

Yeah. Teresa! It’s, uh… It’s Jane… 

__________________

EP 21 S6 BLACK HEARTS

So… what are you thinking?

Well, Abbot’s right, it’s a great job. And Don’s the best. 

Look, Teresa. I’ve been patient. But… I kind of went out on a limb for you. Pushed Don to pass on other candidates so that I could have you with me in DC. I mean, I know it’s a big decision, but it’s a decision you need to make. 

__________________

There you are. Ready to go?

Look, about, uh, DC. I know it’s a lot to take in and I didn’t mean to pressure you. 

Yeah, I did. Maybe a little. But, it’s your life and… I just wanna be a part of it. 

Are you sure?

Wow…. wow, I wish we were somewhere more romantic, but… but what the hell. Will you marry me?

Don’t freak out. 

I know, I know. You need time to think about it. 

There’s no pressure, okay?

You’re a tough date. Have you told Jane that you’re leaving yet?

Oh. He’ll understand. 

I’ll be downstairs. 

__________________

EP 22 S6 BLUE BIRD

Hey, sweetheart, How are ya?

Yes!

Okay. Alright, alright. Text me your flight information and I’ll be there. Teresa, it’s gonna be great, you’re gonna love the neighbourhood. It’s-it’s full of restaurants, your favourite kind, I got a number to an excellent… (fades out)

__________________

EP 1 S7 NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES

Jane. 

I was, uh, looking for Teresa. 

Yeah, she probably is.

It’s for an undercover thing. So, it’s, uh… you and her. 

I know. I know that. So do you have a plan? 

Well, I was offering her a life. A home, a family if she wanted one. A future. Have you thought about any of that?

Well, what are you offering her? I mean, other than Patrick Jane?

Well I was upstairs, giving a deposition. I thought I would say hi. Stupid idea. 

Anyway, It’s good to see you, Teresa.

Jane. 

__________________

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

#pedro pascal #marcus pike #pedro pascal characters #marcus pike the mentalist #the mentalist #PPCU #marcus pike dialogue