#and that wherever you are you’re feeling nothing but happy and peaceful <3

[roselise]

What swimsuit will you be wearing for swimming?

Oh!

Well, probably of my pink two piece with the polka dots!

I do have lots of other cute swimwear though. ♡

Perhaps I’ll take a few pics and put them up here?

I feel kind of shy about showing myself, but I do know people enjoy the fashion and seeing my outfits!

So I might if anyone would like me to. c:

I’ll bump a few of the things I’ve worn in the past in the meantime!

Hugs and happiness to you! Thank you so much for stopping by, it was truly wonderful to hear from you, my friend! ♡ ♡

I pray all is well with you and that you’re having the most lovely day or night ~ ! XO

εïз ❀ o .｡.:* 💗 🌸

#<3 #ask #this was so lovely c: #i’m glad so many people here enjoy my outfits ! #it really makes me happy ! #do you have anything fun you’re looking forward to as well my friend ? c: #i pray you do so <3 #and that wherever you are you’re feeling nothing but happy and peaceful <3 #sending much love and many hugs your way ! #please take good care of yourself and stay safe ! c: #xoxo ~ ! <3 #･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ♡

[shxtodxroki]

𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜: 𝙼𝙷𝙰 𝙱𝚘𝚢𝚜 𝚃𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚂𝚞𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚂𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚂/𝙾

Summary: How would the MHA boys take care of and look after an s/o who’s so sick that they can barely do anything without help?

Warnings: Mentions of throwing up/vomiting (it’s super vague but is mentioned!), mentions of anxiety/overthinking, mentions/vague descriptions of insecurity

Characters: Mezo Shoji, Eijiro Kirishima, Tamaki Amajiki

Word Count: 1.6k

♡ Mezo Shoji ♡

- I’m pretty sure that you wouldn’t even have to tell this man that you’re sick honestly, he seems like the type that would want to check up on you fairly frequently so when he calls you and hears the tone of your voice he’s immediately like “You’re sick. Relax and get comfortable, I’m coming over to take care of you” and heads straight to your dorm

- And take care of you he does, this boy refuses to let you lift a finger while he’s around and will do absolutely anything you ask of him (and even things you don’t, because he can tell what you need even when you don’t want to tell him because you don’t want him to work himself too hard)

- And no matter how much you insist that you’re fine and that he doesn’t need to do so much for you, he won’t listen and will insist that it’s no trouble for him to take care of his partner while they’re sick, and that he knows you’d do the same for him

- Of course, he’ll never do anything you don’t want him to. If you’re too nauseous to eat he won’t make food, and if you just want to sleep and be alone for a while, then he’ll wait in the common room and let you have your peace and quiet to rest

- But he won’t let you shoo him off just because you’re afraid of burdening him, he insists he’s happy to help you with whatever you may need no matter what it may be

- Need to eat something? He’ll prepare any meal from scratch that you want, making sure it’ll be easy on your stomach. Throwing up? He’ll hold your hair for you if it’s long enough to get in the way, and he’ll rub your back and help you through it as best as he can. Out of pain meds? He’ll head out to the store no matter how late it is

- His dupli-arms actually make it quite easy for him to take care of you, as they allow him to get multiple tasks done at once (brewing a nice cup of tea for your throat while also cooking you a meal, for example) and he’s never far from you for more than a few minutes at a time while you're sick

- His quirk also makes him really good at massages, so if your body is sore from the sickness he will happily massage you wherever you need, for as long as you need until you feel better

- He also does not care at all about getting sick, you’re more important to him and he will happily catch your illness if it means taking care of you and cuddling you until you fall into a restless sleep

- This boy is so good with his words when it comes to you, so even if you come to him crying and miserable because you just feel so ill and can’t do anything without feeling horrible, he knows exactly what to say to soothe your cries as he holds you while still validating your feelings

- Overall Shoji is a very patient, doting lover when you’re sick, and he’s exactly the kind of boyfriend you’d want by your side through your illness as he’d comfort you and get you feeling better in no time <3

♡ Eijiro Kirishima ♡

- Kiri is the type of boyfriend to get so sad when you tell him how unwell you’re feeling :( 

- It breaks his heart to see you in that much pain, and even if you try and sugarcoat things and make it seem like you’re not that sick, he’ll see straight through you and insist that he’d be by your side even if it were nothing more than a small cold

- He’s quick to cancel all his plans for the next few days, insistent on being at your beck and call while you’re suffering like this. Even if all you want is some time to relax and rest by yourself for a while, he wants to make sure he’s free and with your notifications turned up on his phone just in case some kind of emergency happens or you need him for any reason

- Now, Kirishima’s actually been working on improving his cooking skills lately by convincing Bakugo to give him some pointers and watching his angry friend when he does cook, so he’s able to make you the perfect food to ease your stomach!

- Homemade soup has actually become one of his specialties, so he’s more than happy to make you some delicious food to help keep you as healthy as possible during this time <3

- He’s also big on giving you massages whenever you mention how sore your body feels. He’s gentle and puts pressure on all the right places to help ease your pain, and he’s more than willing to give them as often as you want! He even suggests it if he can tell you’re hurting but you don’t want to say anything

Kiri's always found hydration very important due to his rigorous workout routine, so while you're sick he makes sure you're drinking enough water to keep your body hydrated. You're already suffering enough as is, don't need to add dehydration into the mix (especially if you're having trouble keeping food down)

- He’s another one who doesn’t shy away from cuddles and even kisses in the slightest, he doesn’t care about the risk of catching your sickness

- He’s lucky enough to have a really good immune system and rarely ever gets sick, but even without that he just can’t resist the urge to hold and kiss you whenever you hold your arms out for him <3 He loves you so much, he will literally never say no to physical affection of any kind with you

- If you start overthinking or telling him how you feel bad relying on him so much for help, he immediately shuts you down with a sweet kiss and some enthusiastic words of support and encouragement

- “Babe, don’t be silly! There’s nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it, it takes a brave person to get through feeling this terrible! You’re doing awesome and I love taking care of you like this, it’s literally my job as your boyfriend to look after you in times like this! So don’t let your mind tell you anything different, I love you and I wanna help!”

- He’s just the absolute sweetest and is willing to be whatever you need during your sickness, and all he asks in return is more kisses and cuddles when you’re up to it and feeling better :>

♡ Tamaki Amajiki ♡

- I hate to say it, but Tamaki would 100% be the overthinking, hovering boyfriend if he found out you were even just coming down with a small cold, so he is incredibly stressed when he finds out just how sick you are this time around

- He immediately begins to hover over your every move, constantly asking how you’re doing, if you need anything, if you’ve eaten or drank enough water, if you’re going to die-

- Safe to say his stress and anxiety have a tendency to get the better of him in these situations, and he admittedly can be a bit overwhelming when you first come down with such a miserable sickness when he realizes just how debilitated you are

- Inevitably, though, you reach a breaking point and ask him as calmly as you can in your unwell state to ease up on all the questions and constant fretting, as your mind simply doesn’t have the energy in your current state and his panic is only serving to make you stressed on top of everything else

- He really is a good boyfriend, though, so he’s quick to do as you ask and eases up a lot on the questioning and constantly hovering over everything you do, even if he is still worried about your health

- Once he’s stopped spiraling, he will notice without you needing to verbally tell him when you want some time to yourself to just rest vs. when you need to be held and taken care of, he’s incredibly perceptive due to his heightened anxiety so it’s easy to adapt to your ever-changing needs

- He is still prone to comforting you with cuddles if you’re open to it, though. Of course he’ll give you space without question if you ask, but in holding you, he can feel you - can feel that you’re still doing okay - and that comforts him as he comforts you

- And whenever you want him near you, he’ll wrap his arms around you and rub your back soothingly as he tells you how sorry he is that you’re in so much pain and how he wishes he could take it all on for you

- And if you’re feeling insecure or like a “burden” of any kind he’ll reassure you that he’s more than happy to take care of you, and that you deserve help and care when you’re feeling so ill. You don’t have to be strong in times like this

- Tamaki has a huge collection of tea since it helps with his anxiety quite a bit, he has every flavor imaginable and plenty of choices including decaf. So when you’re sick you will have your pick of the crop as he’s more than happy to share whatever you need. Rest assured, your throat will be soothed with warm herbal tea as long as your boyfriend’s around lol

- And even though social situations usually make him anxious, he’ll do anything you need while you’re sick. He knows it makes you feel nauseous to even stand up, so he’s more than willing to go out and order food for you or whatever you need even if the thought makes him internally want to shrivel up and crumble, because he loves you more than he fears others <3

- Tamaki may be a bit overwhelming at first when you get sick, but once he gets past that hurdle he will go above and beyond to get you well as soon as possible, he values you more than anything else and just wants to get rid of your pain as soon as possible :]

Request - @orangeishsstuff said: Hey Hun! Its been a while! I hope you're doing well and I love the way your page is looking:DSo y'know about me from last time I had an ask and guess what? I'm sick as a dog. I tried to tough it out for that past few days with some midol but today was the tipping point. I can't eat much without feeling like puking and I can't stand without feeling like I'll fall, I'm exhausted, pale, my hair is a mess,  I can't go to my classes, I can't run (very mad about that) and I can't do anything without feeling like crap. Last time I tried to get to class my parents stopped me before I could get out the door. I hate the help but I can barley do anything on my own. How do you think some of our fave mha boys would deal with it?  Specifically shoji, kiri, or Amajiki...if you are to busy rn I completely understand since it's flufftober but I thought I'd shoot my shot! I hope youre doin well!

A/N: I know this ask is from a while ago and I’m sure you’re not feeling ill anymore so I know this won’t be as comforting as it would have been at the time of you sending this ask, but I hope you’re able to enjoy this anyways! You’ve always been one of my sweetest followers and one of the only people I’ve actually gotten to talk to on this blog so far, so I try my best to get your requests written first even if they are a few months late </3 I've actually had this in my drafts for the past like 4 days just needing to proofread lol but this semester just started and it's already kicking my butt, so I'm glad I'm finally getting around to posting it! :D My requests are currently open, so feel free to send in any requests you have to my inbox!

Taglist: @pasteldaze @yeagerfushiguro @papijean @trashy-bowtie @palenightmarepersona @eunoiasa @applepie-macaroon @ghostofscarley @lemonadae-chickie @swiftbyul @shinsosmatcha @tsukkisukkii @awkwardaardvarkforever @shotos-angelic-whore @ace-lavender @thekaylahub

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#{✏️} - bee's writing #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha x you #bnha x you #mha x y/n #bnha x y/n #shoji headcanons #mezo shoji headcanons #kirishima headcanon #eijiro kirishima headcanons #tamaki headcanons #tamaki amajiki headcanons #mha headcanons #bnha headcannons #mha hcs #bnha hcs #shoji x reader #kirishima x reader #tamaki x reader #kirishima x you #tamaki x you #kirishima x y/n #tamaki x y/n #mezo shoji x reader #eijiro kirishima x reader #tamaki amajiki x reader

[esotericmind4]

This hypnosis script is for reducing anxiety and feeling more calm and at peace on a regular basis. It was originally designed for an audio but I haven’t had a chance to record it yet. Let me know your thoughts on the script version!

To begin, make sure you’re in a comfortable position

Limit any distractions around you

And focus completely on my words

Deep sleep now

Take in a nice deep breath

Hold it for a second or two

And slowly exhale out

With each deep breath you take

Feel yourself breathing in cool, fresh air

And as you exhale out

Imagine yourself releasing all of the negative air trapped inside of your body

With each deep breath you take

Relax yourself a little more

And with each deep breath you exhale out

Feel yourself becoming more loose

And more limp

Your eyes are very heavy

Your muscles are becoming deeply relaxed

Your thoughts are fading away

And you feel incredibly calm and at peace

My words are filling your mind

Guiding you deeper and deeper into trance

With each and every deep breath you take

You feel so happy

So tranquil

So comfortable

Imagine yourself now in a place that you really enjoy

Someplace that you can feel incredibly happy

A safe space that feels very personal to you

It can be a place you’ve been to before

Or someplace unknown that you’ve only dreamt of before

This place is a very special place

It’s a place where you can be alone if you choose

Or a place where others are with you that make you feel at peace

Visualize the environment in your mind

See all of the different colors

And notice how vibrant they are

Breath in the wonderful aromas

That bring you the most fulfilling sense of pleasantness

This is a place free of negativity

A place free of any stress

A place that is free from pain

A place that is free from sorrow

This is your own personal slice of Heaven

It is yours and yours alone

Embrace it to the fullest

And know that you are safe and at peace wherever you are here

Any time when you have situations in life

Our thoughts that become too overwhelming to handle

Remember this special place of yours

And pause the world around you

Take a moment to breath in deeply

And bring this wonderful environment back you to

Remember how good it feels to be here

Remember how relaxed, peaceful and free you’ve become

And once it returns to you

Any outside stresses or anxiety you faced before

Will feel a lot less unbearable

Whenever you allow yourself to return to your happy place

Everything else feels more manageable

You’ll be able to think more clearly

Focus more perfectly

Relax more deeply

And you’ll find yourself able to toss the negativity away

It will reflect off of you like a laser hitting a force field

You’re protected and free

Safe and secure

Happy and serene

Nothing else matters when you are here

When you’re in the special place

Everything else around you fades into nothing

Your thoughts slow down

Your breaths become deeper

Your fear ceases to exist

And all that once bothered you

Vanishes like a fleeting thought

You’re more confident

More in control of your emotions

You’re free of anything that can bring you down

Both physically and mentally

Feel how strong you feel here

Feel how powerful your mind and body are

Nothing can break you

Nothing can stand in your way

You can handle any situation life throws at you

Because you know that you can come right back here

Anytime you need to

Any time something seems so insurmountable

Any time you’re overcome with any negative thoughts or emotions

Just bring yourself back to this special place

This magical environment that calms you

Frees you

Comforts you

Your happy, safe, and wondrous place

All you need to do

Wherever stress and anxiety becomes too much to handle

Is take a step back

Breath in a few deep breaths

And think of this fantastic reality

Where you are the most perfect you

And you feel the most perfect way

In a moment, I’ll count from 1 to 3

Bringing you back out of trance

You’ll feel so refreshed and calm

You’ll feel as if you’ve been set free of life’s burdens

You’ll feel so happy and incredible

And wherever I, and only I, say the phrase

Deep sleep now

You’ll find yourself dropping back down into a deeper and more wonderful trance

The phrase deep sleep now

Brings a state of wonderful relaxation to you instantly

Your eyes get so heavy, closing down if need be

Your body becomes so loose and limp

Your thoughts fade further away

Faster and more effortless

Each and every time I and only I say the phrase deep sleep now

Bringing you back into hypnosis

Deeper and deeper

Each and every time

Feeling the desire to go under my hypnosis

Grow stronger and stronger each and every time

Feeling the desire to trance deeper

Each and every time

Feeling yourself give in more and more

Each and every time

Whether you are in a state of trance

Or completely out of hypnosis

Wherever I say the phrase deep sleep now

You drop instantly and effortlessly down deeper into hypnosis

Feeling more wonderful and relaxed than before

Waking up now on the count of 3

1

Feeling so very good

2

Al thoughts and energy flowing back to you

3

Wide awake and fully alert

I hope you enjoyed this trance script. Please comment with your thoughts, feelings and reaction 🙂

#hypnosis #relax #trance #mental health #anxiety #stress

[enid-rhees]

hi i’m back with another enid request :) can you do a story where enid and reader hate eachother and they start slowly falling in love but don’t want to admit it and carl is like helping both of them (he knows they both like eachother and he’s trying super hard to get them together) ty and i hope you have a good day!! :)) (sorry if it doesn’t make sense, it’s hard to explain 😭)

I LOVE THIS !!! thank you for requesting!! it’s a bit different than the request but i still hope you enjoy! i hope you have a good day as well <3

summary: you and Enid despise each other for whatever reason, not even you knew. after a forced shift you had to do with her, you felt something shift.

genre: enemies to lovers

A/N: hope you all enjoy! if you’d like to request, read pinned!

you couldn’t stand Enid. every time she walked in the room, you could help but feel yourself become instantly annoyed. there was just something about her.

it wasn’t one-sided either, she hated you just as much as you hated her.

snarky remarks, subtle insults, you did it all. she was irritating, every time you heard her speak, it was like alarms blaring in your ears; unpleasant.

you could never get away from though. it felt as if wherever you were, she was. she was inescapable, making her less and less tolerable by the day. today was one of those days.

“you’re joking.” you said to Rick. “no. i’m not fucking doing that shift with her. someone could cover for me.” you told him.

“there’s no one to cover, that’s why it has to be you.” he stated calmly. he was far too familiar with your hatred towards Enid. he had gotten in the middle a few times, unfortunately.

“she could do it alone. there’s no way in hell i’m spending a few hours out of my day with-“

“please- for the love of God just do it! it’s just a few hours, i don’t care if you hate her! put this stupid feud aside for just four hours!” he shouted, shocking you. he wasn’t really one to shout at you like that, so it took you aback.

“fine.” you mumbled. you made your way up to the watchtower by the gate that lead into Alexandria. she wasn’t up there yet, luckily. you sat against the wood and stared into the messy street, enjoying the silence and peace while it lasted.

the street was filled with trash and abandoned crashed cars. the watch shift had to be the most boring job ever in Alexandria, you preferred going on runs.

“oh, you’re kidding.” you heard a voice groan. peace ruined. you rolled your eyes as she came up the stairs. you raised your eyebrows, “you don’t look happy to see me.” you said with a fake pout.

Enid scoffed. “shut up. you know damn well i’d rather be anywhere else than to be near you.”

“why are you even here?” she asked, sitting across from you. “no one else was available to cover. so you got the pleasure of working with me.”

“should’ve just let me do it alone. would’ve been nice.” she said. “tried that. you know how Rick is. wasting my entire day being here with you.”

she grabbed the gun next to her, it was a rifle. she put her eye up to the scope, aiming at nothing in particular. you watched her.

the way she concentrated, her hands kept steady on the gun. the way her lips were parted as she focused.

you looked away, shifting in your spot.

god when will this fucking shift be over?

-

you never skipped down the stairs faster when Rick announced to both of you that the shift was over. without another word or glance, you went back to your home.

Carl was sitting on the couch with Judith in his lap. you sat next to him, leaning your head back on the couch.

“how was your shift with Enid?” he asked. “awful.” you responded. “she is just- she’s so annoying! her voice is like nails on a fucking chalkboard. oh- sorry Judith. her voice is like nails on a chalkboard. every time she speaks i just want to scream.” you complained to him.

he shook his head, chucking a bit. “what’s so funny?” you asked. “nothing. just the way you’re so stupidly oblivious.” you furrowed your eyebrows, “what’s that’s supposed to mean?”

“you don’t hate her! you like her!” he exclaimed. you choked out a laugh, standing up from your seat. “are you insane? you think i like her? you have to be out of your mind right now to say something like that.”

“you can’t keep living in denial.” he said to you. “in denial?” you repeated. “you think i’m living in denial? i despise Enid, Carl! it doesn’t get much simpler than that.”

“i’ve seen the way you look at her.” he told you, you stood still, blinking at him. you didn’t know what to say to that. “you stare her lips, her eyes. it’s noticeable, Y/N.”

you shook your head, “no.. i-i don’t.”

“yes, you do.” he told you. “you can’t lie to yourself anymore. you like Enid. and she doesn’t hate you either.”

“bullshit.” you told him. he stood up, taking Judith into her room before he came back out. he grabbed your arm and took you outside. “what the fuck are you doing?” you asked, trying to take your arm out of his grip.

“putting this stupid fight to an end.” he replied. he took you to an empty room before leaving again. you sighed, shaking your head

“what the hell is he doing out there?” you mumbled to yourself. “he’s crazy- this is crazy.”

a few minutes later he came back, but with another person stuck on his arm. he opened the door, pushing Enid through it.

“you’re out of your goddamn mind, Grimes.” Enid said to him, you could tell there was rage in her voice.

he pushed you both into a darkened room, closed the door and locked it while also pushing something heavy against the door to ensure you were locked in.

your eyes widened, he was truly out of his mind. Enid started to bang on the door, yelling for Carl to come back.

you squeezed your eyes shut, “stop yelling. it’s not gonna do shit. it’ll just make you more annoying.” she huffed. “so you just want to be stuck in here?”

“we have no other choice. he won’t let us out until we resolve whatever this is!” you argued. “there’s nothing to resolve. i made it clear how i feel about you.”

“yeah, looks like we’re even. so either we fake it to get out or we can stay in here forever.” you said to her. “god, i’d rather die than pretend to like you.”

you had to admit that hearing that was a bit hurtful. mean words were always thrown between you two, but that was possibly the worst.

“right,” you said quietly, looking down at your shoes. it made it harder to believe Carl’s words. Enid definitely didn’t like you.

you sat on the floor against the wall as she continued to try and open the door. you looked up at her. “why do you hate me, Enid?”

she stopped to turn to you. “you’re annoying. that’s why. i can’t stand being around you.”

“but why? what did i do to you to make you hate me so much?” you questioned. “me and my group… we arrived here and you just… hated me. i don’t know what i did, Enid.”

she groaned, “just stop! stop. okay?” she shouted. you looked at her with confusion. “stop what? am i wrong for wondering why you randomly decided to hate me?”

“i hated you because… because i thought- i thought you were pretty.” she said it so quietly, you almost didn’t hear her. you stared at her.

“what?” you asked in a whisper. “all of those things you would say to me was all because… you thought i was pretty?” you asked, a small laugh coming out afterwards.

“i didn’t know how to deal with it. i’ve never- you’re the first girl that made me feel like that. i reacted poorly and it caused you to do what i did to you. it was hurting both of us.” she admitted, finally looking you right in the eye.

you stood up, slowly walking towards her.

“will you tell me the truth now?” you asked. “will you tell me how you really feel about me?”

she stepped closer, your faces centimeters apart now.

“i’m in love with you,” she whispered, a small smile painted your lips as you leaned forward, capturing her lips in yours. she placed her hands on your waist, pulling you closer as she kissed back.

the door suddenly opened, causing both of you to jump away from each other. there stood Carl, a smirk on his face.

“what did i tell you?” he asked. “shut it, Grimes!”

_________________________________

A/N: i am so bad w/ endings i am so sorry 😭 i hope you all enjoyed! this took a few hours but i am happy with the outcome :)

#enid rhee #enid rhee x fem!reader #enid rhee x reader #enid twd #the walking dead #the walking dead x reader #twd x reader #twd

[theclearwaters]

Heyy! What are some of your favourite twilight headcannons?

Whew, Anon. Being a veteran of HMS Blackwater means I have Many Thoughts, but the first one is always that line in Book 3 of BD about Leah officially becoming Jacob’s second-in-command and feeling the need to check in with him often. 

(This is more essay than headcanon, and a poorly written one at that. And on reflection, probably not what you thought you’d receive when you sent this ask. You’re a damn hero if you make it to the end.)

So . . . 

Before Jacob imprints on Regurgitate, he and Leah have a conversation about what is going to happen After. She tells him that she wants to stay with him, she’s the happiest she’s been in years, etc etc etc. Leah Has Plans. She’s going to get a job away from La Push, she’s going to take some classes at a community college and work on quitting her wolf, and being in Jacob’s pack is going to give her the peace she needs to be able to get on with that. She’ll go wherever she wants, he can go where he wants, they’ll put Seth back in school so he can graduate, everyone is happy. 

(You know, those pages and pages of Blackwater groundwork that Meyer laid before yeeting it out of the window for a baby. Nevermind that line from Jacob a few chapters later about not having to be alone because Leah is strong enough to stay with him. For MONTHS AND YEARS.)

Anyway, then Jacob imprints. And if you subscribe to the idea that all imprint bonds must be romantic (because Meyer says they don’t have to be but then proceeds to give us absolutely nothing to prove otherwise), that means Jacob is pretty much stuck with the Cullens for the rest of his unnatural life i.e. eternity because he got the immortal imprint. At some point or another, he’s going to have to leave with them because they might have solved the Charlie problem but they can’t stay in Forks forever.

I started a fic about Leah leaving with him, because Reasons, but in truth I don’t really see it happening. I imagine her still checking in with him post-BD, probably whilst still working towards the things she wants to do, but she never really gets over her hatred for Bella or the Cullens because of what they’ve done to him (intentionally or not) and so she sticks around a lot longer than she planned. Because it’s Jacob, and he’s worth following, and she’s his Beta which means it’s pretty much her responsibility to look after him because the Cullens sure aren’t going to - at least, not the way she thinks he deserves or needs.

(I also think that quitting phasing doesn’t mean quitting your pack, you’re in that shit for life, but that’s another rant.)

So, the Cullens leave. Jacob has no choice. He has to go with them. 

Leah Is Pissed. She takes to turning up in New Hampshire or Alaska, wherever the Cullens have put down roots for a couple years, and she drags Jacob back to La Push when he’s been gone so long that Billy is starting to forget what he looks like, or for Rachel and Paul’s wedding, or whenever she thinks he’s starting to sound a little off in his thoughts and she decides he needs to be reminded there’s a life outside Rasputin / the Cullens.

Sometimes she takes him elsewhere. Gives him a few days to start smelling like himself again and keeps him away until being away from his imprint starts making him itch. She reminds him how to be human (because surely spending all his time with eight vampires and Regret is going to give him some bad habits), reminds him that he never wants to imprint and that he once believed in Free Will and Choice. Sometimes Seth joins them, or Embry and Quil, maybe she starts to send the boys in her place because she has begun to Feel Things (maybe she always did) and that scares the shit out of her. Only she’s too worried about Jacob and misses him and needs her pack, so she doesn’t stay away for too long.

A couple years pass this way. Maybe more. Leah does all the things she wants to do: graduates from college, gets a job, starts Living, but she still Shows Up. Even when Jacob thinks he’s doing okay, all things considered, it seems she appears, but Leah has a sixth sense about these things and turns out she’s pretty much always right. For all he didn’t want to be Alpha, he always feels better when he has his pack around. 

Once or twice, he asks her to stay with him. Properly. She always says no. But she loves Jacob more than she hates the Cullens, so perhaps she suffers a few nights on occasion until he worries he’s being selfish and knows he needs to let her get back to her life. He’s got his with his imprint.

Breaking point is when Billy dies, or when Rental reaches maturity and starts pursuing Jacob and he just feels that it’s not right, maybe he always has but he has to be and do whatever his imprint wants, can’t be away from her, so he’s screwed. But whatever Leah has been doing for him has worked, enough that he has this realisation something needs to give, and for the first time ever - after Rejection tries to kiss him, perhaps - he leaves of his own accord and seeks Leah out. Surprises her for once by interrupting her day. 

And then - cliffhanger. This ran away with me but there are SO MANY possibilities. I don’t care if he rejects the imprint and his relationship with Leah becomes romantic, or they’re just BFF, I just care that he gets to choose. 

TLDR: BLACKWATER! 😭😭😭

#anon #inbox #blackwater hive we ride at midnight

[emissaire]

˗ˋˏ teacher series ˎˊ˗ ¦ 02

characters: geto, gojo, nanami, toji

warnings/includes: teacher/student, christmas season, age gap, afab reader

synopsis: just your teachers vying for your attention (1/3)

note: unedited

masterlist ¦ prev - next

It's not everyday that Jujutsu sorcerers get a break away from all the chaos so when they do, they savor it. Curses don't go on vacations after all, they wreak havoc whenever and wherever they want to.

December 23, it's a cold morning but no one from the Tokyo Jujutsu School complains as they make their way to a cabin hidden far into the forest mountain covered in snow. It was decided earlier that week that they will all spend Christmas together in the cozy lodging house owned by the Fushiguros. Toji built it years ago for his kids, and although he and Megumi rarely get to visit, Tsumiki keeps the house well-lived in. It's a place where they can always let loose and forget all the burden they carry from the jujutsu world.

"No, because I would lose!" You whine out loud, breaking the peaceful silence as Yuuta continuously pokes your arm.

The boy laughs at your reaction, still persistent on annoying you as you swat his hand away. "Ahh, so you do know you're a loser."

You huff and deliberately turn away from the boy. You don't notice the four pairs of intense eyes watching the both of you as you keep your eyes forward, following Megumi as he leads all of you towards his family's home.

You miss the way Yuuta reaches his arm to sneakily sling his arm around your neck in a lock but before he can actually do it, you're getting pulled out of the boy's grasp. You only realize what's happening when your nose bumps against a sturdy chest, the smell of fresh linen and a hint of spice waft through your senses, making you relax promptly.

"I suggest you stop playing around, you've got plenty of time for that later." You know you're not the one being told off but you can't help but cower a little at the tone. This is the first time you're hearing Geto sensei's voice like this. He doesn't sound mad but he doesn't sound happy either, he's usually bright and pretty playful.

"Sorry!" Yuuta apologizes with a knowing giggle before skipping towards Maki as if nothing just happened. 

"You stay here with me." Geto murmurs, peering down at you, dark eyes tracing every feature on your face then slowly, the corners of his lips tilt into a small smile before he nudges your cheek with his finger.

"You mean with us!" Gojo shoves his best friend to the side very mischievously, a cheeky grin on his fair face. The platinum haired teacher makes you walk beside him, his strong arm curled around your shoulders, dwarfing you between him and Geto. You only shake your head fondly at your teachers' childishness, listening to them bicker about literally anything. 

"We're here." Toji announces from behind all of you, his voice laced with relief and a hint of fatigue in it. The man looks like he hasn't had any proper sleep— not that any of you ever had a decent sleep schedule, but he just looks a lot more tired than usual.

"Fushiguro sensei really built this?" Yuuji fawns over the interior of the home from the outside to which Megumi only hums.

"Your house is really nice, Toji sensei!" you grin up at the man, showing him both of your thumbs to indicate your silly approval and you see the way his eyes light up.

"Thanks, kid." Toji places his hand on top of your head, gentle as he pats your hair before walking past you so he can open the door and all of you can finally settle inside.

"Let me help you with that." You watch in awe as Nanami grabs your duffle bag from the ground and carries it with him as if it weighed nothing. You sigh dreamily, still stuck on where you're standing after your gentleman of a teacher took your bag.

You feel your heart flutter, your stomach bubbling with butterflies as you think of how your teachers treat you with so much care to the point it sometimes comes off as them pampering you, but you refuse to think of it as them playing favorites. As much as possible, you squash any thought blooming in your head that their actions might have romantic agendas in them. After all, they are your teachers and it's their job to take care of their students. Surely, they won't even consider someone who's years younger than them as an equal in an adult sense. They would go for someone mature and whose experience rivals that of their own.

Only if you knew.

花 ‧₊˚ taglist (still open): @resonancesoul @moirdior @chimiyako @nanamiswhore @missroro @thedarkroseofficial @velvetlight333 @fiona782 @bubbleteaproduction @cryformekitten

thewordfae 2021 ∫ plagiarism is a crime

#livre: daisy #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagines #geto suguru #geto x reader #jjk geto #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #gojo saturo #jjk nanami #nanami kento #nanami x reader #jjk toji #toji x reader #toji fushiguro #jjk crack #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic

[sailorhyunjinz]

𝕴𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝕾𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖘 𝐈

© 2021 SailorHyunjinz ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 

Pairing; Bartender!Changbin x Fem!reader (she/her pronouns)

Warning ; ANGST!! SMUT!! skz side characters, semi-slow burn, hurt/comfort, strangers to lovers, depiction of mental disorders, consumption of alcohol, under the influence, self hatred, complicated family relationships, depersonalisation/derealisation, depression, alternative universe, implications of su-cide, semi su-cide attempt, su-cidal!reader, mentions of bl-od and injury, mentions of k-dnapping and murder, alcoholism, mentions of selfh-rm, mentions of knifes, gaslighting, smoking, mentions of weapons, mentions of pregnancies, a bunch of crying, fainting, toxic masculinity. 

𝘕𝘚𝘍𝘞 ; piv, protected sex (use of condom), missionary, dry humping, nicknames, sex in semi-public place, fingering, corruption kink if you squint, orgasm (m/f), cum,,,, other then that it’s kinda vanilla. 

𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ; 14.3 k 

O N E ｜ T W O 

From one survivor to another; cheers you guys. 

                         ⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ Playlist ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

[FEEL SOMETHING DIFFERENT - Bea Miller, Aminè]

[Multi-Love - Unknown Mortal Orchestra]

[Beach Baby - Bon Iver]

[High Enough - K.Flay]

[Dope Lovers - DPR IAN]

[Make Out in My Car ; Sufjan Stevens Version - Sufjan Stevens]

[I Feel it Coming ; The weekend, Daft Punk]

[Space Song ; Beach House] (ah the loml and the album is called depression cherry so it makes me happy) 

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥.

𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘧 18.

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈 ; 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐲

“Let me out!! LET ME OUT!”

You cry out, banging on the heavy wooden door until your knuckles bruise, red marks leaving their traces on your soft skin. The only lightsource is the tiny cell window, sun shining brightly and illuminating thousands of dust specks, floating around you like your lost hopes. The grey cement walls got closer and closer, seconds ticking in your head like a clock. 

This is it.

This is how you die. 

Crushed to death like a bug, your ambitions never getting their chance to prove themselves. All that you ever wanted to achieve was an impossibility as you were slowly but surely pressed together in the ever shrinking room. 

Salty tears roll down your cheek, a feeling of hopelessness washing over you as you turn your back against the door, sliding down to your feet, banging the back of your head lightly against the entrance.

You feel the rough walls hitting both sides of your forearms, a last ear deafening scream leaving your parted lips.

Until you woke up. 

With a series of jerking motions you sit up, panting like you just ran a marathon, the pounding of your heart audible to you. Darkness swallowed you as the night progressed, you considering yourself lucky to find yourself in your comfortable bed, still in your room. 

Only after minutes do you notice your wet cheeks, the tears not being limited to your dream world. You blink, your coated eyelashes weighing heavy on your eyelids as you wipe tears with the back of your hand. The shock from your dream didn’t reside, you now being too afraid to fall back on your plushy pillow, fearful of what horrible dreams awaited you on the other side. 

You grab your phone from the nightstand, immediately being hit with a bright light causing you to squint and turn away momentarily. 

[Search: being crushed dream meaning]

Multiple articles from all sorts of sketchy websites popped up, you clicking on the first one. 

“Stress or emotionally overwhelmed” 

You laugh lazily, the dream making sense as you feel yourself slipping back into a peaceful slumber, phone still in hand as the muscles in your face relax, jaw opening, your dream world once again inviting you for a dance. 

The sun woke you up with it’s radiant rays shining in your face, the closed blinds barely able to withstand them. Your phone was lying on the floor face down, you must have dropped it while sleeping you thought before rubbing your eyes from any dirt and staring up at the ceiling. 

Another day

Another day that I’m here.

You wish you could pull the covers over your head, get lost in your own mind and never deal with the outside world ever again. But you had to. 

You picked up your phone from the dusty floor that hadn’t been cleaned for weeks, you simply didn’t have the motivation to do it. The bright phone screen awaked you, you blinked your eyes a couple of times to see clearer. 

[3 Missed Calls - Mom]

You couldn’t be bothered to call her back. She was only gonna nag at you for not calling back earlier, wondering what you’ve been up to now that you’ve been fired from your job as a receptionist at the local hotel. What were you gonna say? Drinking too much booze and crying yourself to sleep every night? You couldn’t, that would only hurt her. 

Ignorance is bliss, as they say.

You got up, legs wobbling as you stumbled to the bathroom, head pounding from the amount of alcohol you consumed the night prior. Not with friends but alone, in your living room, in the one room apartment you no longer could afford. 

Ice cold water splashed onto your sweaty face, that being the only hygiene you could muster today. You turned the tap off, grabbing a towel and wiping your face and looking deep into your own eyes. 

That’s not me.

That’s not me looking back. 

You poked your tongue out, hoping the figure in the mirror wouldn’t move and you could confirm your thoughts but alas the figure followed you. You felt crazy, it was as if you’ve died a long time ago but still saw everything that happened. You could stick your hand through a wall and it would disappear you thought, nothing was real. Not even you. 

You entered your mess of a living room, seeing the wreck from yesterday night. Countless green glass bottles scattered on the table in front of the tv that was your only escape from reality. Blankets and pillows were thrown across the floor along with a box of tissues, your emotions bubbling up to the surface too often resulting in you crying and shaking on the floor, a feeling of fear washing over you late at night. 

You felt alone.

But you weren’t.

Fuck, why were you so ungrateful? You had everything. A roof over your head, a family that loves you, friends, food on the table. Yet, even this couldn’t satisfy you. You blamed yourself for everything. 

For your work firing you.

For your parents divorcing.

For your own pathetic life.

You shook your head as if you were shaking the negative thoughts out of your head, instead grabbing a couple of the empty bottles that were reeking with the scent of liquor and placing them on the kitchen counter. ‘Cleaning up’ in your eyes.

With a thump your back landed against the couch that swallowed you, engulfing you in a comforting embrace you got from no other person or object. This was your safe space you thought but not even your couch could save you from your intrusive reasonings. With a light click on the remote the tv screen lit up, your eyes still not used to the brightness since you’re always cooped up in your apartment where the blinds were always closed, another barrier between you and reality. 

Nature documentaries, your favorite.

The calming male voice of the narrator being the only one you talked to during your lonely days. The animals could make you forget. They lived so freely, moving wherever they wanted without a care in the world, either swimming, hopping or flying. You wish you were born as another animal than human. 

“The 52-hertz whale travels an astonishing 70 km a day but it’s voyage doesn’t bring social interactions. This whale is the loneliest whale in the world. It’s the only whale that is capable of emitting a whale call at such frequency, no other individuals communicating with the poor creature.”

You sat up in curiosity. It was a scream for help you thought. The whale needed help, it needed someone or something.

Just like you. 

You sighed, watching the lonely whale on your tv screen, seeing it’s gracious movements despite its size. It did look lonely in that deep dark sea, wondering how it would be to fall into the abyss of water, swallowing you whole and erasing the life that once sparked your soul. 

This was where you spent your entire days. The clock on the wall is ticking but the digits it displayed are oblivious to you. What did it matter if it was 5 pm or 1 am? You were still not gonna budge from your comforting seat on the couch. Drinking your feelings away no matter what time in the day. 

This was you. 

This was who you had become.

The sun started to set on the horizon, a delicate shade of light purple descending over it, covering the end of the world like the way a canopy covers the softness of a bed. You sigh, diverting your focus back on the tv screen after momentarily observing the life outside your window. Yet again, nature documentaries accompanied by the soft male voice, narrating every movement of the colibri that fluttered it’s wings at the speed of light on your screen in vivid colors. 

You got that look in your eyes. That look of amazement which you now only had when looking at the beautiful colors of a exotic bird. You moved closer to the tv screen in the now dark living room, the sun setting at a fast pace. It reminded you of the many times your mom shouted at you to not sit so close to the screen, scaring you by saying that you’d get rectangular eyes. 

Your childhood.

The only time you felt ease. 

The only time your family was as one. 

“y/n, what does your heart look like?” the therapist asked, scribbling mindlessly on a notepad.

“it’s a muscle that pumps blo-” you started but were quickly cut off. 

“no, I mean what does your heart look like, how does it feel?”

You sighed, looking down at the grey marbled floor, your legs shaking in nervousness. You hesitated before speaking, scrambling in your mind to say something sensible before the words came pouring out of you.

“i-it looks like a house. A dark, empty house,,, but it’s comforting.”

Once again you heard the sound of a pencil writing incoherent sentences. Curious as to know what secrets were on that piece of A5-paper.  

“is there anyone in the house with you?” the therapist inquired. 

You shook your head before speaking. 

“I don’t want to let anyone in, this is my safe space” you say, almost setting up an emotional barrier, not wanting to answer further questions. 

The person sitting across from you hummed as you stared out the window behind them, the green ivy bushes already grown tall enough to cover half of the grimy window. 

“is the house empty?” they asked to which you shook your head once again, avoiding the glassy-eyed stare of the therapist. 

“no,,, there are dusty furniture covered in white cloths and-,,, and family photos in the drawers.” 

“is it your family?” 

You shook your head in disagreement.

“How did you end up here?” 

You thought for a second, puffing out your cheeks, a habit of yours. You searched for a reason but not finding any. 

“I just,,, was here one day.”

“The sun never shines here.” you added after a solid 30 seconds of silence. 

You were stuck in that house.

The house that was once filled with happy memories of another family, you simply a ghost that was now trying to fit the broken pieces together, wanting desperately to see them smiling again. 

Tears started forming in your eyes, a shiny gloss over your orbs. 

But you never cried.

Not in front of others. 

You thought often about that visit. Why your heart was an desolate house and why the words spilled out of you like a poisonous liquid.

You closed your eyes, the bright colors fluttering behind your eyelids as the comforting sounds of the woods blasted from the tv. 

You wish you could be somewhere else. 

Anywhere but here. 

A single tear rolled down your cheek as a smile creeped up on your face, your butt against the floor as your knees were underneath your chin, your entire figure curled up into a small ball. 

You sighed as your eyes fluttered open again. You were still here, in your apartment that smelled like nothing but alcohol and disappointment. 

Firmly planting both your hands on the wooden floor you heaved yourself up with the intention of getting more tissues, the blue colored tissue box on the floor being as empty as others expectations of you. 

But as you stood up the entire room started spinning, small specks of rainbow flashing by your eyes. You thought you stood up to quickly grabbing onto the wall for a second before collapsing against it, your entire body shaking. You cried louder, thinking you were about to pass out. Your hair stuck to your tear stained cheek as your puffy eyes closed once again. 

What was happening?

The rain hit your unconscious body, your knees scraped from the concrete you lied on. You were soaked from head to toe, lying with your cheek against the ground in a puddle of rain. You woke up from your head pounding, your bloody knees only gaining your attention after you’ve looked around in a confused daze.

It was empty. An alleyway in the dark night. You found yourself panicked, anxiety bubbling inside of you. That’s when you saw it. A single street light above a red phone booth. You tried to stand up but fell over again as your legs could barely hold you up, now scraping your elbow against the gritty ground. 

Crying out, you started shouting for help. 

“HELP!! SOMEBODY HELP!” 

You screamed at the top of your lungs, voice cracking as your tears started to look identical to the rain that was pouring over your cold, helpless body. Nobody came, your voice only echoing against the wall that the phone booth stood near to. 

You got on all fours, crawling towards the light as pure pain shot through your body, small pebbles jabbing into the open wounds on your knees. You needed shield from the rain. Desperate huffs and groans escaping your parted lips as you dragged yourself through small puddles, the phonebooth seemingly getting further and further away from you. Looking through the soaked curtains that was your hair you were determined, this was life or death you thought as you continued to shout out for help, it appeared to be useless since the only other sound besides your own voice was the rain hitting the ground. 

Shivering hands grabbed onto the corner of the crimson red phonebooth, the streetlight illuminating your teary eyes. You held onto that frigid and wet piece of metal as if you were holding onto a treasure. 

As if you won a race.

As if you pleased your parents.

You looked up, dragging the inner side of your leg against the concrete, your pyjama pants wet to the bone. Desperately you got yourself together, your arms shaking as the rough pads of your hands met the ground, pushing yourself up into a standing position. You hissed at the pain in your knees as you grabbed onto the metal handle that opened the phonebooth, stepping inside.

The inside was surprisingly warm, as if someone had been there moments prior. A ripped piece of paper was taped on the glass pane to the right of the payphone, something that seemed like a phone number but could impossibly be since it wasn’t a full number. 

[1800-xxx]

You looked at the payphone and then back at the washed out paper, the edges of the note curling and stained with yellow. Only when you looked back at the phone again did you notice the keypad. To your surprise there was an “x” button. Your head felt heavy, deciding to lean it against the other side of the stuffy phone booth, your hot breath creating steam on the glass.

You wanted to wake up from this nightmare. 

Your entire body ached, let alone the blood that was dripping down your leg. The rusty payphone connected to the actual phone, a black handle connected to the underside of the machinery by a coiled metal rope. You picked up the phone, putting it against your ear and groaned when you remembered that you needed coins in order for the payphone to work

[0.5 gold/minute] 

You rubbed your eyes. Gold? You sighed loudly, your knees barely being able to hold your weary body any longer. Hesitant fingers pressed the number that was jot down on the lined note, pressing each key accordingly. You pressed the last x before you pressed the “call” button, not expecting anything to happen. 

But after a few seconds a female automated voice spoke to you. 

“Thank you for calling. This place only appears to the suffering. If you are receiving this call, congratulations! Your prayers have been answered. Drink the liquid in the paper cup above this payphone. Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid.”

The voice lagged, a static sound accompanying the automated voice. Your breath got shaky as you looked around, holding the phone close to your ear with both hands. This could only be some sort of kidnapping scheme or this was a sick dream. 

“It’s a dream, y/n. Calm down, nothing's gonna hurt you.”

You muttered to yourself, pinching your forearm tightly and wincing from pain. This wasn’t a dream after all. 

Your gaze landed on the brown paper cup that was balancing delicately on top of the payphone, your cracking knuckles reaching for it as you let the phone fall out of your grasp, being caught mere inches from the sticky floor of the photobooth by the coil. Bringing the cup closer to your face you saw a dark viscous liquid that smelled sweet enough to sting your nose. Your face contorted into disgust, debating on whether not to drink the contents of the paper cup. 

“Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid.”

The voice continued ringing in your ears. You had nothing to lose. If you died then you at least got what you wanted. Holding your breath, you brought the cup closer to your quivering lips, parting them slightly as you held your nose tightly, not wanting to feel whatever horrible taste could be found in that dark pit of goo. 

It burned the moment it hit the delicate taste buds on your tongue, your voice muffled as the fluid descended down your throat, your larynx bobbing up and down with each gulp. Despite covering your nose you could taste the pungent sweetness, it tasted like pure acid. Not that you knew what that tasted like but what you assumed it would. 

You coughed, accidentally spilling some of the goo on the floor, dribbling out of your mouth. The heavy rain pitter-pattered against the metal roof above your head, your eyelids threatening to shut. The cup fell out of your hand as you slammed your forehead against the payphone, not hard enough to bleed but hard enough to bruise. Your jawbone hurt from how much you’d been crying, eyes puffy as the salty tears mixed with the rain droplets on your face.

“i-i’m sorry mom, i’m so fucking sorry.”

You rolled your forehead left to right against the rusty material of the payphone, your soaked hair covering your empty eyes. Your knees bent under you causing you to fall on your butt with your knees clinking against each other, the sticky contents on the floor sticking to the soft fabric of your pants. 

“I’M SO SORRY!”

You never thought a scream this loud could protrude its way out of your throat, the vibrations bouncing off the glass that to your surprise didn’t break. Everything started to become shades darker, almost as if a black and white filter settled over your vision. 

No, this is how you’re gonna die.

Alone.

In the rain. 

“Hyung, what are you gonna do with her?”

Muffled club music struck your ear along with a high pitched ringing, your eyelids felt as heavy as they’d been in the phonebooth. With your head pounding you slowly open your eyes, first not seeing anything but darkness before eight unknown men form a circle around you, hovering above you. 

You shoot up from your lying position, fear overtaking your body. Where were you but more importantly why the fuck were you alone in a dark room with 8 young men? Not thinking straight, you decided to scream once again, thinking they would back off and let you be.

“Get away from me!!”

The males covered their ears, groaning in pain and a blonde boy throwing himself on the floor, rolling around. 

“HEY!! HEY! WE’RE NOT GONNA HURT YOU!”

A strong voice overpowered yours, every word almost sounding like a grunt. You around, seeing that you were sitting on a soft leather couch before looking up at the male that was standing right infront of you. He was muscular, his biceps sitting snugly in the tight black t-shirt that covered him, a grey apron tied around his waist and his dark hair shielding his intense gaze and furrowed eyebrows. He had a jaw so sharp you could cut silence with it but silence was the last thing this room had. The boys were shouting at each other, trying to hush the others while screaming themselves. 

“SHUT UP!!”

The room got quiet as the muscular guy roared, the seven other individuals coming to a halt. You looked at them all with a puzzled expression, all of them handsome, a fact you couldn’t deny. 

“Where the fuck am I, who are you guys and p-please don’t kill me”

Your voice cracked at the end of your sentence as your eyes twinkled, tears teasing the corners of your eyes, fingers shaking in fear. The male closest to you sat down, the weight of the couch shifting. He rubbed his hand together before he started speaking in a calmer voice.

“I’m Changbin, bartender of the Lost Souls nightclub. That’s Chan, security guard.”

With his chin, he pointed at a guy in ripped black jeans with a white t-shirt, a sweatband across his forehead, pushing his slightly curly hair back. He didn’t look like a security guard, the only thing that might have pointed to that was the walkie-talkie hanging from his belt. You nodded before Changbin continued.

“And those are some friends, frequent visitors if you will.”

A light haired boy with shiny rhinestones under his eyes stepped forward after he’d been hugging the tallest guy in the room the entire time. 

“u-uhm, the name’s Felix! This is Hyunjin, Seungmin, Jeongin, Jisung and Minho, and yeah those two, Chan and Changbin.”

He pointed at each guy respectively and the room filled with small “hi’s” and smiles. They didn’t look threatening, all of them being very timid and looking down at the ground. Your gaze diverted back to Changbin that was staring at you the entire time.

“Can somebody tell me where I am?”

Changbin cleared his throat, stomping his boot a couple of times. 

“This is gonna sound,,, interesting but you have to believe me-”

You interrupted the muscular boy, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, noticing that it had dried. 

“Why should I believe you? We’ve just met?”

Changbin sighed. 

“Just,,, hear me out”. You nodded before he continued.

“You answered a phone call right?”

Nodding once again your gaze drifted towards the other boys that were looking at Changbin with googly eyes.

“Well,,, this place only appears to those who are,,, struggling with themselves. Obviously you don’t have to tell us why you’re here but,,, this is a place to let go. The only rule here is no fighting”

“Or dancing on the tables” the tall blonde boy added with a snark causing a squirrel-like boy to giggle, playfully hitting the blonde before looking at Chan who glared back at him, the boy being flustered and turning serious again. Jisung, his name was. 

“W-what did that phonebooth do,,, does everyone go through that?” you asked with a curious tone.

“Usually it’s a pleasant experience going in that phonebooth, the sun shining and people hanging around that alleyway before taking the phonecall and drinking the elixir,,, there must have been a glitch in the system.”

He sounded unsure, scratching the back of his head as he looked at all of the boys. 

“System? What system? I’m dreaming, right?” you said in panic, wanting to get out of this oddly suffocating room. 

“W-we are real and you’re not dreaming,,, it’s just that, we can’t meet in real life you know? This is a place to,,, let oneself go and I know it’s scary since you only get here randomly, it must have been hard passing out like that,,”

A boy with fluffy light brown hair and a pretty eye smile said, Seungmin! You remembered his name because you thought it fitted him, sounding both soft and sharp at the same time. 

“y-yeah,,, it was scary b-but thank you for caring about me” you said with a half smile

“oh! and also, we treated all your wounds, luckily you were passed out so you couldn’t feel the pain but let me tell you,,, it looked awful, I don’t understand how you did that Chan” Jisung remarked with wide eyes, looking at you concerned before turning to Chan.

“Did what?” you inquired to which Jisung responded.

“Removing the pebbles in your wounds, h-how did you even get those in there?” he asked to which you tried to remember, seeing hazed memories of you crawling on the asphalt in the storming rain.

“I was crawling towards the phone booth'' you said quietly as the boys gazed at you with concern. The atmosphere got dusked and in an attempt to lift the mood you cleared your throat, lightly running your hands over the bandaids that were plastered on your scraped knees, wincing from the contact. 

Changbin made eye contact with Chan, jerking his head towards the door to signal for him and the other boys to leave the room. Chan nodded and patted Jeongin on the shoulder, trying to scoot all the boys out of the room like a shepherd leading a bunch of silent sheep.

“Let’s have some fun! Drinks on me boys~” Chan exclaimed to get the boys off their worried thoughts about you, the curly haired male closed the door quietly and both you and Changbin stayed silent until the footsteps were faint on the other side of the black wooden door. 

“Is this better?” Changbin said with a slight smile at the end. “They can be quite the bunch sometimes, either they’re very much off the deep end or they’re just a rowdy mess” he laughs, looking out in the distance before he looks at you with your knees under your chin, holding your legs close to your body.

“So,,, we’re all here for similar reasons?” you mumbled, holding your gaze stable on his dark eyes.

“yeah,,, pretty much. We’ve all dealt with something mentally draining and of course you don’t have to tell but I just want you to know that nothing will hurt you here.” Changbin replied. 

“I do want to tell,,, but it’s just that I don’t want to be alone about it. I’ve never been around people that have shared the same experiences.”

Changbin slid closer to you on the couch, putting one leg over the other. 

“It’s like that for,,, almost every single individual in the club, we all want to tell our stories and this is the place to do it. No one is gonna judge you for it. I remember thinking that when I first got here, ‘everyone is gonna judge me for not drinking’.”

Changbin’s last sentence caught your attention.

“but aren’t you the bartender? shouldn’t you know all the,,, liquors and such?”

Changbin sighed and you regretted you sentence, thinking that maybe you asked a too personal question. 

“I do know them but not in the way one should.” 

Something clicked in your head when the boy uttered those words. You nodded silently, letting your gaze fall to your wounded knees as your shaky voice spoke;

“So do I” 

Changbin’s gaze was fixated on the floor as he shared what was on his mind. 

“But no one judged me,,, eh,,, I never asked for your name!” the boy said to which you giggled, reassuring Changbin that you were in a stable state.

“It’s y/n, nice to meet you!” you said, stretching your hand forward to shake his. Changbin smiled towards your gesture.

“pretty name, angel” he said, shaking your hand and noticing how small it was in his grasp, the cold metal of his rings contrasting to your now warm hands. He didn’t let go immediately, instead holding your hand and feeling it’s warm temperature, running his thumb across your knuckles softly. You snarked at his comment.

“angel? didn’t know we had established pet names for each other in barely 10 minutes of meeting.” 

“and I didn’t know angels landed in this place” he said back. “i’ve had to deal with 7 annoying boys that never listen to me,,, well, 8 but one of them,,, disappeared.”

You nodded, not wanting to overstep any boundaries by asking about that 8th guy incase it was an emotional topic. 

“how is it? working with alcohol despite having quite a rocky relationship to it?”

The buff boy hummed, drumming his fingers on the seat next to him. 

“It’s better than one might think. I get to be around it without engaging in the activity myself, simply serving clients and the boys  already know it, we look out for each other. Like a family you know!” Changbin said with a happy tone, not wanting the conversation to get you in a bad mood after all you’ve been through that night.

“family,,, could use one of those” you joked and Changbin actually laughed which you’ve never felt with anyone before, the only response you usually got was your therapist writing down your self deprecating jokes with their orange lead pencil.

“you’re always welcome to us” he said, letting go of your hand that now felt empty. You felt safe. There was no way of describing it but you felt this caring aura around this man, drawing you closer to him. 

“how long does this last? i’m guessing you go back to ‘the real world’ again at some point” you spoke, making quotation marks with your hands.

“it depends, it’s different every time but you will pass out just like you did when you got here but you won’t go back to the phone booth, you’ll wake up where you were last in real life. Time goes on in the real world but here,,, clocks don’t really work. We’ve tried bringing clocks or phones with us but the digits don’t change.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. This had to be a dream. 

“w-whats with the gold on the phone? Does money exist in this,,, universe?” you asked with confusion to which Changbin shook his head.

“no, drinks are free and so are the phone calls, i have no idea why the phone booth says that or why Chan said that drinks are on him, he must have been stressed trying to get the boys out of here” Changbin said to which you giggled.

“i-is there any time where you never return?” you asked, earning a bittersweet smile from the male.

“yeah,,, if those issues you have get resolved but,, that rarely happens. Destructive behaviours feed of each other. Get rid of one and it gets replaced with another.”

You recognised that. It was always something, you could never live in peace without feeling the need to self sabotage. 

“Poor innie knows that too well” he added with an acerbic tone. 

“innie?” you tilted your head in question, gazing around the dark room that was rather empty, only a couple of dark colored shelves on the wall and the couch you were sitting on along with the ceiling lamp that was stingy with it’s light.

“Jeongin, the youngest among us. Poor boy has been through it all, if it’s not drugs it’s self harm and Minho is a real dick sometimes, bringing pocket knives in “defense”. He’s delusional, thinking everyone is out to get him and Jeongin knows this. We’ve found our precious little boy in the bathroom too many times, holding those stupid knifes Minho keeps having on him and crying till his cheeks puff up.”

You took a mental note to keep your distance from Minho, feeling bad for Changbin that had to be amidst this mess while dealing with his own emotions. You could relate, being the emotional pillar between your parents that hated each other to the brink of physical violence. There’s always someone that has to suffer because of other people's problems. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Changbin.” you managed to stutter out, not knowing what else to add to the conversation.

“Ah,,, don’t be, y/n! Just take good care of yourself, that’s what matters the most to me” Changbin said. You smiled, moving closer and hovered your hand above his shoulder.

“Can I?” you asked quietly to which Changbin nodded and moments later felt your warm hand patting his back. He felt listened to. Understood. And even though he was yet to tell you his entire life story he knew that you were different from the others. You actually cared about him. 

The room started spinning again and you clutched onto Changbin’s black t-shirt, trying to stabilize yourself. Those rainbow colored speckles you had seen earlier appeared again, vision blurring right in front of your eyes. 

“y/n? how are you?” Changbin’s voice was worried but he knew what was happening. 

“it’s spinning again, I t-think I’m gonna pass,,, out” you muttered, 

“It’s alright y/n, I’m here yeah?” His rough voice distinguished itself from his comforting words as you held onto the dark haired boy, a faint smell of tobacco interlacing with the air you breathed in through your nose. Your two arms were now wrapped around the male with your face against his broad shoulder, eyes shutting as tightly as they could, face contorting into fear until everything disappeared. The vague beats of the music. The pain that ached from your knees. The feeling of finally finding home in someone's arms. 

Everything turned into nothing in Changbin’s embrace. You were slowly turning into his everything because he had nothing in his life. 

And then you woke up. 

You gasped for air as you woke up in panic, hunching over on the floor in a coughing fit, clawing at your neck for oxygen. Panting on the floor you put your forehead against the wooden laminated floorboards, your frizzy hair blocking out the little light that was in the apartment and being hit with the malodorous smell of distilled alcohol. 

What was that?

You were convinced that it was some kind of wicked dream. An escape from reality even. But as Changbin said, you did wake up in the exact same place and position you passed out in. A long breath seized through your lungs as you shifted in your position on the floor. 

“Son of a bitch!” 

Tears prickled the corners of your eyes as the hard floor hit your wounded knees. You quickly sat down on your butt, lifting your knees up to your chin and only then did your heart drop.

It wasn’t a dream. Your eyes lingered on the bandaids that were placed with the utmost care across your both knees, a stain of dark brown blood seeping through the sticky elastic material and dried blood staining your knees in a haphazard attempt of somebody trying to wipe it off without hurting you. You managed to grab the edge of the sofa, levering yourself up with, testing out the strength left in your wobbly legs. Your phone lit up, sitting on the place you’re usually curled up in. Throwing yourself on the soft piece of furniture you observed the phone screen, lost eyes wandering mindlessly over the brightly lit display. 

What you noticed wasn’t the worried text from your mother.

It was the fact that the digits hadn’t changed from when you passed out. 

Your head snapped towards the tv screen and the phone fell from your hand when you stared at the screen, breath trembling.

The same documentary. The same colibri. 

This couldn’t be. Surely you hadn’t just stopped time,,, right? This was not something Changbin warned you about. How long until you meet Changbin again? An hour,,, or ever? 

There was nothing else you could do besides wait. Wait until the next time you pass out. And what better way to make time pass but to be confronted by your mother? You pulled up the text on your phone and read it hastily before scoffing.

[Are you eating well? Please call if you see this]

Since when did she care about you? You knew that she did care. Somewhere deep inside her motherly heart she did care but the way she displayed that so-called ‘affection’ didn’t make it obvious. You tried to justify every word, believing all the lies she fed you. You tried so hard to believe that you were healthy, that your mental health wasn’t deteriorating before the eyes of your very own mother that was refusing to see the truth. That her child was indeed in pain. You couldn’t blame her, it was her way of dealing with the issue but it didn’t make it easier for you. Your thumbs hovered above the keyboard, you couldn't think of anything better to write and quickly typed it down before you hit send.

[yes, i’m busy]

Busy contemplating your existence. Your father wasn’t exactly any better. Throwing out each one of your family members until there was only him left. He had no trouble filling that emptiness, simply creating a new family and forgetting you as if you were a chapter of the book called ‘previous life’. You didn’t mind, not after everything he did to you and your mother. There was no need for a person like that in your life but unfortunately it influenced you more than you thought, always seeking validation in either work or relationships because how could you validate yourself after your self esteem had been crushed by this tyrant?

You threw your phone on the table, a clink noise being heard as it hit a bottle, knocking it over but not breaking it. Your parental issues or mental health was for once not the biggest concern in your life, now instead wanting to search for the answers that could explain the nightclub. How did it exist? What caused it to exist and who was behind it? You needed to get back there somehow. 

The tv had turned off by itself, you found yourself waking up on the couch, using a pillow as a blanket, hugging the warm material closer to your body as you whined. With confused and lost eyes you scanned the room for a clock, hitting the table a couple of times and finally getting your hands on your phone, bringing it closer to your eyes. 

[3:02 am] the digits lit up. You rubbed your tired eyes with your left hand, throwing the pillow on the floor and using the phone display as a torch in the pitch dark room. There was no point in falling asleep again, you had already slept so many hours, sleeping anymore would only make you drowsy the entire next day. You yawned as you staggered towards the bathroom, flicking the lightswitch on the wall and squinting fiercely as you were blinded by the harsh bathroom ceiling light. You put the phone down and quickly caught your reflection in the mirror before you sat down on the toilet to pee, folding a couple of sheets toilet paper in your hand. You yawned again as you flushed, going to wash your hands but once again being amused by your reflection.

That’s not me. 

It’s the person I’ve become but never wanted to be. 

Your dark circles almost reached your cheekbones, the wounds on your knees still stinging even after hours of peaceful slumber. You poked your tongue out to which the reflection did the same, staring back at you with frizzy hair and puffy eyes from tears. You couldn’t trust it. Mirrors lie you thought and so does every single reflective surface in the entire world. You would never know what you truly looked like and that ignited panic in you, feeling your breath rapidly increasing as you held onto the white cold edge of the bathroom sink. 

This happened. Too often. It was the feeling of not knowing yourself or your surroundings. Like you had just appeared in this world, scared and alone. To not know who you are and having to live with yourself til the day you die frightened you. But you didn’t know if death was any better. Sure, the thought was comforting but being buried under layers of soil, having flowers and insects living their best life above you as you simply rotted away wasn’t the solution to all your worries although a moment of eternal peace did sound tempting. 

You felt a lump in your throat, trying to cough as if it was some sort of anxiety flem when in reality it was your brain setting up imaginary barricades. Your hair draped in front of your face and with furious eyes you peeked up, seeing your almost demon-like expression and smiling psychotically. 

I hate you. 

I fucking hate you, y/n l/n.

Your smile was wiped off the moment the room started spinning. Your reflection becomes diffuse in the mirror as if it wasn’t enough not recognising it. A loud gulp made its way down your esophagus as you continued staring at yourself in disgust. You blinked slowly, every time you closed your eyes you saw those rainbow colored specks all around, almost as if they were distracting you from what was happening, like a kaleidoscope for a child. You felt as if the ground started shaking, an earthquake in your personal world that was separated from the real one. Maybe you were going back to the nightclub, to Changbin’s reassuring arms or maybe you we’re really going crazy this time. The specks got bigger, turning into elaborate patterns in neon colors that clouded your vision. You kept eye contact with your reflection for what seemed like forever, despising the person that was staring back, your gaze broken as your eyes rolled back in your skull, your eyes white as if you’d been hexed before you collapsed on the frigid bathroom floor. 

“y/n? y/n, wake up!” 

The sun dazed your eyes as you woke up on the slightly toasty concrete. Changbin tilted his head as a cigarette was hanging out the corner of his mouth, bright sunlight behind him. He had on a jean jacket with patches from several underground punk and rock bands, his neck was embellished with multiple silver chains and his hair was slicked back, glistening in the heat. He knocked the wind out of you even more, as if passing out in the bathroom wasn’t enough torture. 

“oh y/n! you’re awake!” 

Chan says, coming closer to you, this time he’s wearing a tanktop that showed off his flawless abs, your mouth watering at the sight. You only then remembered that you looked like a mess, still in your pyjamas that consisted of an old sports event t-shirt and small basketball shorts. 

“a-am i in the club again?” you say, rubbing your eyes with both hands before feeling your head pounding a bit, sitting up slowly and feeling the harsh ground beneath you. 

“no! you’re at the phone booth, everyone is here now oh and, this is usual how it’s supposed to look.”

After your vision stops blurring you look around, seeing the same alleyway and the same crimson phone booth but being hit with a completely different atmosphere. People were standing in all types of fancy clothes, trendy bright colors, exaggerated makeup and 7 inch platforms. The sun was beaming, it felt like a hot summer day with friends, just like the old days back when you had friends. 

“why does y/n always wear pyjamas? don’t you have any cool clothes?” Hyunjin snarks, pushing his blonde hair behind his ears, displaying his dangly silver and black earrings. 

“knock it off asshat, the poor girl is probably scared off her mind” Seungmin sneaks up behind the blonde, punching him lightly in the stomach before he smiles sweetly at you. Duality was this man's second name. 

“t-thank you seungmin” you said, giving a smile back but being met with a surprised facial expression.

“you remembered my name!” he said, giggling adorably. You gave a small nod before you looked back at Changbin that was drawing a breath from the cigarette, puffing out a white cloud close to your face before waving it away. You noticed how tired Changbin looked, his cheekbones sunken in and his complexion bleak. He stretched out his hand to help you up which you grabbed, the insides between his pointer and ring finger being slightly stained orange from tobacco. You wobbled up on your feet, knees slightly unstable but feeling better from sitting down a while. 

“are you alright y/n? i could open that resting room if you want” he said before inhaling smoke once again, spreading in his mouth and intoxicating him. You shook your head.

“i want to see the club, why not while we’re there you know?” you said, smiling brightly and making his heart jump. Changbin hid the grin he so desperately wanted to display by dropping the cigarette bud on the concrete, stepping on it with his heavy boots that had chain details attached. 

“alright, whatever you want angel” Changbin sneered which caught the attention of the 7 other boys, all staring at the jean-jacketed boy. 

“angel? seems like someone has a crush” Hyunjin remarked making Jisung burst out in laughter. 

“says master heartbreaker” Chan said under his breath making Hyunjin furrow his eyebrows, diverting his gaze from Changbin to Chan instead. 

“come on you guys! can we not go to the club already?” Felix said, him also wearing a crop top along with a leather chest harness that accentuated his figure. Jisung nodded and made his way towards the phone booth that had droplets of steam on the inside, Felix and Hyunjin following shortly after the squirrel-like boy. You observed the alleyway. People leaning against the grey wall where the phone booth was, either smoking or chatting. Some were standing, others sitting down directly on the concrete, feeling the same heat you felt as you woke up. 

With unstable steps you walked towards the phone booth behind all the boys, Changbin staying by your side and waving his hands towards the 7 boys that had somehow crammed into the humid and stuffy metal building, Chan closing the glassdoor as a couple of the boys giggled. You and Changbin stood on the other side of the door, seeing how Chan grabbed the black phone you had once held with cold dirty hands and Seungmin giggling as he took a sip out of the contents in the paper cup, passing it around to the others that did the same.

They disappeared right in front of you. Your mouth stood agape. They didn’t pass out, they just disappeared into thin air, leaving the airless crimson structure empty yet again. 

“w-wait, why didn’t they pass out?” you asked, turning to Changbin as you ran a hand through your hair.

“it happens when you’re new. the body isn’t used to the entire,,, universe switch so you will probably pass out this time also but don’t worry, i’ll catch you” 

Changbin grinned, opening the door and being hit by the lack of oxygen. He held the door open for you to which you smiled, stepping inside and seeing that the paper cup had been refilled automatically. The door closed behind Changbin, you standing in close proximity to the boy as you lifted the phone slowly, still feeling the warmth from Chan’s hand. The dark haired boy grabbed the brown paper cup, not even looking at the goopy substance before drinking it, seeing his adam's apple bob up and down. You put the phone towards your ear, wondering why you didn’t hear the female automated voice.

“it doesn’t work?” you said with confusion to which Changbin smiled, pressing in the infamous number on the rusty keypad.

[1800-xxx]

“yeah, it doesn’t if you don’t type in the number” he chuckled, holding the paper cup in both hands and leaning against the humid glass.

Suddenly you hear the voice you were dreading the hear.

“Thank you for calling. This place only appears to the suffering. If you are receiving this call, congratulations! Your prayers have been answered. Drink the liquid in the paper cup above this payphone. Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid.”

It reminded you of that night. That dark rainy evening. The voice started to lag, just like it did last time. You hung up and turned around whereupon you saw Changbin handing you the paper cup. You gulped and put your lips on the edge of the cup, looking at him with unease but feeling comfortable with his presence. You tilted the cup, feeling the sweetness trickle down your throat, almost stinging your insides. Changbin smiled, he looked like the typical bad boy from every cliché teen movie but it made your heart flutter, slightly embarrassed at the state of yourself. He pushed away from the glass wall and swiped his thumb across the corner of your mouth, wiping off the sweet liquid and licking it off the tip of his thumb. You stood there, frozen at the sudden action, gazing softly at him. 

“you had something there” he chuckled as you started to feel lightheaded again, your eyelids getting heavy. 

“thanks” you said shortly, your gaze drifting down on the dirty floor beneath your feet, drifting in and out of consciousness. 

Changbin didn’t say anything, catching you mere seconds after you collapsed on the grimy surface. Admiring your heavy eyes and puffy cheeks for a second before he himself disappeared into the abyss. 

“One Moscow mule, please!” 

An unfamiliar voice shouted through the blasting club music accompanied by what sounded like the shaking off a cocktail shaker. You groaned, your eyes fluttering open and being hit by the beams of a thousand light machines in all sorts of colors.

“Oh y/n!!” Jisung shouted on the other side of the bar, you found yourself sitting on a chair in the corner of the bar, on the same side as Changbin that was working diligently, mixing some concoction into a metal shaker. You rubbed your eyes, yawning and wondering how you could sleep sitting up. You heard Changbin set the metal cup down, telling something to the woman beside him, must be his co-worker you thought. He kneeled down next to the chair you were sitting on, looking up at you with curious eyes. 

“how are you feeling?” he asked loudly, trying to overvoice the music.

“im good” you answered back just as loud, the two of you locking eyes. Changbin smiled at you with his tired face, glancing over the glasses that were located beneath the bar. 

“you want something to drink?” Changbin said to which you nodded. 

“give me anything” you said, messing with your hair and sighing. You felt tired, an urge to sleep despite the loud blaring music. Maybe it was more of an emotional fatigue. A lack of feeling. And that’s usually when you turn to the bottles. Changbin nodded, standing up and returning to his co-worker, starting to grab all kinds of pretty coloured alcohol. 

“ay! y/n! come join us!” you heard Felix say, him standing with a glass in his hand, the other boys scattered around the club along with the other troubled individuals. You smiled widely, looking around and noticing the small exit gate connected to the bar. You patted Changbin on the back, him turning around with a grin before you exited through the gate, closing it after you and pushed through the crowd of people, making your way over to the boys. 

“y/n, welcome to where you will feel alive” Jisung yelled, spreading his arms and nearly knocking someone in the hand.

It was truly living you thought. Every single way to escape reality was located here whether it would be alcohol, drugs or sex. People dancing and jumping, grinding and rubbing up against each other. In multiple booths there were people making out, touching in unknown places. Many looked outright high, moving as if their body was possessed by some dance god, not knowing how to control their limbs. You could have sworn you saw Seungmin putting a yellow pill in his mouth, smiling mischievously at someone you didn’t know. 

So this was letting go. 

“y/n! here!” you heard Changbin’s voice call behind you, turning around and seeing him putting a glass of clear liquid onto the stained wooden bar with coasters scattered all around, a couple lime wedges floating around with the ice in the glass.

“vodka tonic, giving you the strong ones” he said, grinning, to which you smiled back, understanding the hint to his personal life through his eyes. The glass was cold against your warm hand since you were in this stuffy environment filled with countless people and without any windows, only a ventilation system that led to nothing. You put the edge of the glass against your lips, taking a sip and swallowing harshly, feeling bitterness that tasted sweet because that’s what alcohol does when it’s consumed on a particularly bitter day. Or life. 

The other boys were dancing, Chan mostly hanging around the edges of the nightclub and observing the nightlife. You made your way over to him, taking another sip in order to gain the courage to strike up a conversation. 

“Sup? you feeling any better?” he asked before you had the chance to even open your mouth. 

“better. why aren’t you enjoying yourself like the others?” 

“i mean,,, i’m technically doing my job even though i’m not getting paid for it. i just like to be in charge i guess,,,” he said, getting more and more silent as he spoke. You nodded.

“i do work with stuff in real life as well” he added, to which you raised your eyebrows.

“what do you work with,,, if you don’t mind me asking!” you said, taking another sip of what tasted like Lucifer’s saliva. 

“music producer! it’s tiresome but,,, i don’t really need sleep,,, or more like i can’t sleep. lucky there’s energy drinks and naps” he said with a giggle, his dimples displaying as he chuckled, leaning against the black walls of the nightclub. 

“must be tough,,, but wait,,, i’ve never heard your music,,, and also shouldn’t you be the DJ then?” you said confused, swirling the liquid in your hand. 

“but that’s the thing y/n, all these people, every single person you see in this room lives in another universe”

You gazed at him, Chan looking straight ahead towards the crowd.

“what do you mean by different universes?” you asked to which curly haired boy cocked his eyebrow.

“we will never coexist y/n, when i tell you that we’ve tried to bring our friendships to the real world i really mean it. we will never exist in your life outside of this hub and,,, it sucks.” Chan took a pause before speaking, pondering on what to say next.

“-thats what happened with a friend we had. i’m saying had because we don’t know where they are or what adventures await them. They just,,, disappeared” Chan said mellowly, you humming in response as you took a final sip of the devil’s juice, already feeling your face heating up.

“h-how does one get out of this place,,, forever i mean” you asked, leaning back against the same wall as Chan and looking right ahead as the song changed to a slower, almost psychedelic beat. 

“when said person gets help,,, or starts to feel better or when you hit the casket, three options basically” he says with an acerbic smile. “what? Do you like Changbin?” Chan says teasingly. “you’ve been catching glances at him this entire conversation.”

He was right, you had been glancing over at Changbin occasionally, you couldn’t help it. Was it an excuse for you to look at his cute face from a distance or because you cared about him? You laughed it off but Chan turned serious.

“you know that’s it’s not possible.” he says quietly.

“what? what is not possible?”

“a relationship”

You choked on your own saliva, being blinded by the annoyingly bright strobe lights.

“a relat- ya! do you really think I have time for any of that? besides,,, i’m not really interested in Changbin.”

“who said only you should be interested?” 

Your eyes widened when Chan said that. No way could Changbin have these weird feelings to you, the feeling shouldn’t be mutual. 

“h-has Changbin said something about you?” you asked timidly, gazing over at Changbin that temporarily made eye contact across the club.

“why don’t you ask him yourself? but i’m telling you y/n,, don't get attached, you will get hurt,,, j-just like i did once” 

Sure, you understood what Chan meant. Everyone was here for the time being. One day he could disappear if he decided that the life he was living now either isn’t worth it or he takes control and makes something out of it. There comes a time where you are too tired of living the way you do and so you do something about it, no matter if it’s good or bad. 

Changbin waved his hand at you, wanting you to join him behind the bar where now Felix was standing and annoying Changbin by tickling him or whispering in his ear as he moved his body with much fluidity. You smiled, waving towards Chan shortly before you once again made your way through the crowd, feeling lightheaded but in a positive way, as if you really were forgetting reality for a moment. 

“y/n!! come!!” Changbin yelled, bouncing slightly to the typical house beat that was now playing, barely holding the bottle of gin since Felix was pestering him playfully. Changbin’s co-worker opened the wooden gate for you, smiling sweetly at you and you doing the same back, your gaze drifting down until you notice the red marks around her throat. You were often scared by people. Not by their actions but by their way to cover them up and of course, you were guilty of this too. Looking at these people you would never guess the pain that was going on inside, the surface level happiness really is surface level. You could smile genuinely towards her, you didn’t have to understand everything she was going through but you knew how it was, smiling when bridges are burning in your mind. 

Sometimes pretending hurts more. 

“Changbin!” you squealed after you had passed by his co-worker, holding the empty glass that was now nothing more but half melted ice cubes and three wedges of bright green lime. Without thinking you put the glass down on his working station and pull him into a tight hug, squeezing your body against his and feeling the warmth radiate off of him. He froze awkwardly in your arms before loosening up, wrapping his arms around you and ultimately taking in your scent that was now mostly pungent with liquor and sleep, a soft scent that Changbin couldn’t get enough off. You felt safe which was rare in a nightclub especially knowing that most people were either high or carrying weapons. But there was something about him that made you feel like home. It felt familiar, like you’d visited his soul. As if the two of you were sharing the same empty house in your heart despite you never letting anyone in, too scared to be hurt again. Maybe you could let Changbin in, maybe he was different. 

The hug lasted longer then you thought, his eyes darting all over the stuffy room before he slowly let go, taking a long inhale of the almost addictive smell. The two of you locked eyes, a shy red tinged his cheeks that was only visible due to there being a spotlight just above him. 

“can i talk to you for a second?” you asked, rather boldy which was odd. He nodded and grabbed your wrist only to pull you in behind the same black door where you once ended up in, confused and dazed. He let go of you and closed the door behind him, you standing in the middle of the room that now had tiny light standing on the floor, nothing more new then the same old shelfs and black leather couch. 

“what did you wanna talk about?,,, figured you maybe wanted to tell me somewhere more quiet”

‘Quiet’ was an overstatement, the music was making the walls shake and even though it was muffled the jumping of hundreds of people could still be heard in the small dark room where you were alone, with him. 

“ehm,,, i don’t know really,,,” you stammered, not knowing what else to say.

“is something wrong y/n? Do you need to be alone for a while? i can le-”

“no, thank you,,, i just wanna be with you.” You interrupted him, his eyebrows furrowing when you uttered the last sentence. He stepped closer to you, the soles of his shoes making a pleasant sound against the floor. You lifted your gaze at him, Changbin standing right in front of you. Beauty that could make you drool. His hair was slightly messy, temples sweaty as he had worked and fetched all kinds of bottles for hours, the grey apron marking his title in the nightclub.

“but i’m here with you! Are you playing some sort of prank on me? did chan set this up?” he chuckled with a smirk, throwing a gaze at the door before diverting it back to your glossy eyes.

“n-no,,, Changbin, I want you”

His mind went blank and so did yours.

You don’t know why you said that but it was too late. The cat was out of the bag. It was too late.

“y/n? are you drunk?” he asked, looking at you seriously and putting the back of his hand against your forehead, suspecting you might be getting sick. You shook your head in response.

“no, it was only one drink, you know? i just,,, kinda,, want you”

You grabbed his hand that was still lingering on your forehead and drew it closer to your heart, holding firmly by his wrist. The clothed valleys of your breasts made contact with the rough palm of his hand, Changbin’s eyes still glued to yours. He scoffed loudly.

“and here i was,,, thinking it was some sort of unrequited love”

It felt like his hand turned into thorns, stinging your heart. So he wanted you too. 

Changbin’s hand that rested on your boob snaked upwards, grabbing your jaw as he smiled at you briefly, tilting his head and slowly closing his eyes, attaching his rough lips on yours. Your eyes widened before they closed slowly, eyelashes fluttering in a flirty haze. This was how it felt to kiss someone you loved. It was as if a thousand fireworks ignited inside your beating heart, flying and exploding in an array of colors. A pure lightshow. 

Your hands made their way to Changbin’s angular face, cupping his cheeks and feeling his sharp cheekbones against the palms of your hands. Your noses accidentally bumped into each other as your heads tilted from left to right, a sensual pace to the kiss to which the dark haired boy chuckled, adding some laughter to the otherwise grave situation that contained the sounds of two lips smooching each other. The music was only adding to the ambiance, Changbin’s hands wandering and exploring territory on your body that was foreign to him but very well-known to you. Your wet tongues danced around to a serenade, his kiss was strong, sure to leave an unforgettable impression on you. You would want him from now on and forever. 

You moaned into the kiss as his hands rested on your ass, groping the flesh that was covered by your pyjamas-shorts. This made Changbin cock his eyebrow, pieces of his slicked back hair falling into his face as making him look like a charming 80′s prince. His fingers danced around the elastic band of your pants, fingers hooking and playfully tugging on the string, a silent plea for you to take them off. You smiled against his lips, saliva exchanging in a heavy and steamy kiss, your cheeks growing warmer by the second. 

The two figures melted into one as Changbin pulled you closer to his body, feeling his cock poke through the coarse material of his jeans against your lower abdomen. Good to know that he was enjoying this as much as you were. Your hands descended downwards, traveling along his black tight t-shirt, the jean jacket from earlier being god knows where. The contour of his abs made you smirk, you knew what he was hiding beneath these clothes that you ravenously wanted to tear up. You palmed him through his pants, earning a hiss from the male that panted heavily into the kiss. 

You broke the kiss, taking a moment to breathe as your lips were separated by a lonely string of saliva. You grabbed Changbin’s wrist, pushing him down on the leather couch as you straddled his lap, feeling his hard-on against your aching wet cunt. You wanted him so bad and here he was, in front of you for only you to devour. Changbin grabbed onto your hips, pinning them down against his cock and leaning forward to reattach his lips on yours, teeth  accidentally clicking against each other moments before your sloppy hot tongues met, feeling his tongue against the soft surface of yours. The sound of lips meeting ringed through your ears, your hips grinding against Changbin’s crotch in a steady pace, feeling your neediness grow. Your hands ran along his abdomen, sneaking them up inside his shirt and tugging on the black material of his t-shirt, pulling it above his head. What was hiding underneath his clothes was more than a pleasant surprise. Your lips moved swiftly against his jawline, peppering kisses on his delicate neck as your hands teased the supple skin of his abdomen, feeling the outline of his muscles against your touch. 

Changbin placed his hands near your stomach, pulling your oversized sleeping shirt over your head in the same fashion you did moments earlier. You gasped as the fabric danced over your now hardened nipples, freeing your tits. Of course you didn’t wear a bra when you were in the comfort of your own home but you didn’t think anyone would actually undress you, especially not Changbin. He hummed at the sight, cupping your tits in his hands that were covered in metal rings, feeling the coldness against your heated skin. You shuddered, the sensation shooting down to your dripping core. He kneaded them in his hands as you rubbed against his cock, his boner having a visible outline through his pants, you couldn’t help but to fiddle with his belt buckle, undoing it and hearing the clicking sound of the buckle hitting itself. Changbin pulled away from your swollen lips, tapping you on the thigh to step off in order for him to pull his pants down. You moved to the seat next to him on the couch, the leather sticking back as you laid down, lifting your hips up to remove your pyjama pants along with your panties that quickly hid underneath the fussy pants due to it’s rather interesting print, small teddy bears printed on the fabric. You kicked off your shoes, more like slippers that you wore indoors. 

Changbin swiftly pulled down his jeans and black boxers in one motion, throwing them close to your pile of clothes at the base of the couch. Your eyes widened, mouth watering at the pure sight of his cock, a pretty bead of precum decorating his slit, contrasting with the crimson shiny tip. A big gulp descended down your esophagus, heat tinging your cheeks. He chuckled from seeing you stare at his member with shiny doe eyes that reflected in the small lamp on the floor.

“You seem,,, intrigued” he chuckled to which you giggled, not believing that you were really in this small room together with him. 

“Y-yeah,,, maybe I am” you snarked, moving your gaze to his eyes and smiling. Only on your way upwards his well-sculpted body did you see the boy holding a small blue plastic item. You furrowed your eyebrows when Changbin opened the packet, retrieving a slightly slippery condom from inside. 

“Do we even need that?” you laughed before continuing. “I mean if nothing gets transferred to the real world neither should pregnancies or STD’s” 

Changbin tsked, rolling the condom onto his veiny cock, turning slightly away from you to avoid your intense eyes. 

“Ask Chan, he would know” Changbin said, turning back to you and making his way over to the couch.

“N-no,,, no way.” You shook your head, your mouth agape as your eyes still danced over Changbin’s buff thighs. 

“Yup, knocked up a girl” he said, suppressing a laugh. “And that’s why y/n, you never think with your dick”.

“Being completely honest,,, I expected more from Chan, he seems really,,, responsible” you remarked, Changbin hovering over you and placing a soft kiss on your lips, his hands on either side of your figure.

“He is but I think love is his weak spot or more like,,, lack of love. He often confuses love with either sex, money or fame,,, might I even say drugs.” 

You simply nodded not knowing what more to add to the conversation, Changbin’s fingers tracing small circles around your nipples, sneaking them down between your legs where your cunt was aching after him. Anything, as long as it was him. His middle- and ring finger dipped into your heat, feeling the wetness between your folds causing you to hold on to Changbin’s sturdy shoulder. Without warning his fingers entered your dripping hole, fingers curling upwards and grazing your g-spot. You flinched, feeling his cold metal rings against your clit. The dark haired boy shushed, reassuring you that you were in safe hands and that he would make you feel good. Nothing else mattered besides you. 

His fingers grazed your velvety walls, thrusting up into your cunt with just enough vigor to make you clutch to his bicep, the firm muscles making you swoon. You whined, spreading your legs even wider, your left leg hanging over the leather couch, sticking to your thigh as your body was heating up from arousal. The wet sounds of Changbin’s fingers playing with your cunt along with your soft whimpers were louder than the music outside, you pressing your head back onto the couch, rubbing your hair on the material. Changbin licked his plump lips upon seeing your face contorting into all kinds of lewd facial expressions, his cock needing to feel your warmth wrapped around it. The pad of his thumb played with your clit, laying it flat against the nub and teasing it in small circles causing tears to prickle in the corners of your shut eyes. 

“a-are you alright y/n?” he whispered softly in your ear, kissing the shell of your ear. You nodded, your hands cupping your tits, pinching your hardened nipples, adding pleasure and heat to the burning in your core. Changbin pulled out his fingers, putting the slick covered digits in his mouth and watching you with hawk eyes as he lapped up your juices, humming in delight. 

“fuck you taste so good angel” he stated, making you blush, covering your face with your hands. Changbin chuckled, tapping the tip of his dick against your swollen clit and aligning himself with your entrance. You moaned from the sensations, wrapping your legs around him to pull him in, you growing impatient the more he teased. 

“p-please fuck me Changbin” you said uttered in a faint voice, barely audible due to the music. It was as if his eyes tinged with a dark color, full of lust. His eyes were hooded, looking down at you with half closed lids, sighing loudly with sexual frustration. He wanted to destroy you, make you his but he had to hold onto his composure. Holding you firmly by your hips he slowly pushed the tip of his cock inside you, grunting at the warmness that comforted him. You hissed, biting the inside of your cheek, your nose scrunching up at the feeling of being stretched out by his girthy length. 

“can I go all the way? does it feel alright?” he asked. You answered with a small “yes”, more worried about the door being unlocked, anyone could burst through the door in seconds only to witness Changbin fucking you on the couch. That thought was quickly wiped from your mind as his cock stuffed into your cunt, your eyes rolling back into your skull as he slowly thrusts into you, using the hands on your hips as a way to guide him, nailing your cervix with each movement. The tips of his ears turned red, the silver chain around his neck reflecting on the dim light in the room as it rocked back and forward above you. You placed your hands around his wrists, looking boldly into his eyes with, a feeling brewing inside you that was hard to describe. It was titillation mixed with yearning. You knew you got him here. He was safe in your arms. You wanted to save him from everything bad in this world but how is that possible when you can’t even save yourself?

“c-changbin” you said in broken syllables, his thrusts only quickening. “changbin!” you repeated, shutting your eyes tightly, curling your toes in pleasure as a string of pretty moans melodically fell from your mouth along with his name. You couldn’t take it, his cock ramming into you in a both mindful and eager manner causing you to claw at his forearms, nails digging into the soft skin. Your tongues were once again caught in a kiss, the taste of your tongue being irresistible to the boy but not sure if it was your love that was drawing him in or the subtle taste of liquor from earlier. His lips felt parched against your, his tongue gliding on your bottom lip before kissing it, his saliva feeling hot in your mouth. The boy above you pulled away for a moment.

“you’re so pretty like this y/n,, fuck, i think i love you”

You gulped but your silence was soon cut off from Changbin slamming his hips against yours, his cock hitting your that specific spot that made you go crazy, the familiar feeling of your orgasm penting up inside you. You moaned with desperation, the lewd sounds bouncing off the dark colored walls. This was music for Changbin’s ears. His grunts accompanied by your whimpers and the squelching sound of your walls engulfing his dick so tightly, the sounds alone was heaven for him. With every move against your body you felt the well-acquainted smell of cigarettes that you could almost feel in your lungs, an addictive scent. 

“i love you too, Changbin” you mumbled, slurring on your words from nervousness, feeling shy even though you were naked in front of him. He smiled, peering down at you as his hair fell from it’s perfect gelled state. You smiled softly at him, his cheeks slowly turning a red that matched his lips. Your moans turned to borderline screams, his cock twitching inside of you as he slowly got closer to his sweet release. Clenching around him, Changbin grabbed bent your legs towards you, gently rolling his head backwards as the pace got quicker. 

“i’m g-gonna cum! don’t stop!” you yelped, your heart thumping at the speed of light, tiny sweat droplets forming on your forehead. Changbin reached so deep inside of you causing you to thrash around, fiercely trying to grip to the edges of the couch. The burning in your core got intense, it felt as if a thousand stars were falling at the same time, bursting with amativeness. The sudden feeling of warmth took over your body, a pleasant tingle surging. A breathy moan leaving you stunned, grabbing onto Changbin’s hands that were pushing your knees towards you. Just as your orgasm washed over you like a ton of bricks falling to the ground, your body jolted with the last couple of powerful thrusts, a loud gasp slipping from his lips. His girthy cock released it’s seed into the condom, his hot breath lingering near you. 

He let go of your quivering legs, them flopping down on either side of him. Your chest heaved up and down as you breathed through your parted lips. Changbin pulled off, carefully removing the condom and discarding it somewhere on the floor. He snuggled close to you on the narrow couch, pressing his sweaty body against yours, taking a moment to catch his breath before speaking.

“So you love me too?” he chuckled. You turned to face him, looking deep into his dark brown eyes that looked pitch black in the dim light. After a loud exhale you answered him.

“No, I think I can’t live without you” you whispered, rubbing the tip of your nose against his. His stable breath tickled against your chin, your eyes slowly closing as Changbin was observing your features that he found insanely attractive. And it was even more attractive that you were his. But this couldn’t last.

“You know this is not possible y/n” he said with sadness in his voice as he gulped, his adams apple protruding. You knew it, the thing you dreamt of wasn’t possible since the two of you didn’t exist in each other's worlds. 

“I feel fucking stupid” you said with closed eyes, sighing after your words. Changbin shook his head. 

“Don’t give up that easily y/n, we can try”. He was right but what relationship was only visible in the darkness of a nightclub? Only a promiscuous one. Yet, you didn’t want to give up. Not matter what kind of relationship it was you wanted to be with him. 

“So,,, what does that mean? That we are-”

“Dating, I guess” he added shortly, the corner of his lips lifting upwards. It sounded weird in your ears. Dating someone you had only met a couple of times but it felt right. This was where you belonged. In his arms, away from all your demons. He truly cared for you, not like the others. He was unlike those in your life that said that they cared but never wanted to know more than the surface level of your character. He wanted to know everything about you. Your hurt, your sorrows, your pain but also your happiness, your joy and your solace. He wanted to know you. 

Your hands trailed up and down his upper arms, his skin feeling soft against your touch. The two of you cuddled like this for a while, Changbin running his hands along your hair, its smell reminding him of a green meadow of millions of flowers in all shapes, colors and sizes. He didn’t want to leave but if he wasn’t back in the bar the boys would start looking for him and the last thing he wanted was 7 boys teasing him for getting it on. You were more than a hookup. More than just a fling. 

Changbin stood up, squinting his eyes in order to look for his clothes and finding them scattered all over the room. He pulled his underwear and jeans over his lower body before pulling his shirt over his top half, the black t-shirt sitting snugly around his muscles. He ran a hand through his dark hair, shaking his head before smirking at you. Such a tease. 

“Do you have to leave?” you asked with a whiny voice, your arms felt empty once again. He nodded.

“i’m afraid so, don’t want them thinking I've been transported back without them knowing, they get worried but that’s only natural I guess.” 

You nodded back, putting your cheek against the leather on the seat, your arm hanging straight down, the back of your hand limp against the floor. 

“Get dressed if you want to have some more fun or you can chill here for a moment but I have to warn you, that door doesn’t have a lock” Changbin said, pointing at the only door in the room. 

“i’ve already noticed that” you remarked, grabbing your panties and only after you’ve pulled them halfway up your thigh did you see Changbin smirking at you.

“You’re cuter than I thought” he said, pointing at your teddy bear panties with his chin, stepping closer to you. You looked away, biting your lip in embarrassment as you felt his hand on your hair, ruffling it sloppily. 

“You’re making fun of me!” you said back with a pout, pulling your pyjama pants over your bottom. 

“yeah, because you’re adorable” he said, placing a peck on your lips. You wanted more of him. He was simply addictive. 

But not even this universe wanted to see you two together.

Your eyelids got heavier, your eyebrows furrowing at the familiar yet distant feeling. It felt unknown until you saw the small specks clouding up your vision once again. 

“y/n? y/n, how are you?” Changbin said with worry, grabbing you by your shoulders and looking at your apathetic gaze. “N-no, y/n, don’t leave now”

You didn’t want to but you didn’t decide when you left. 

You harshly held Changbin in your arms, putting your forehead against his shoulder, rubbing against it. Changbin slowly put his hands around you, patting your back as salty tears rolled down your warm cheek, putting wet stains on his shirt. 

“shh,,, it’s ok y/n, are you feeling dizzy?” he asked carefully to which you nodded mellowly, your bottom lip quivering as the multicolored boxes of light flashed before your eyes. The room felt unstable, like your legs wouldn’t hold you much longer and they didn’t when you collapsed into Changbin’s arms, him holding you tightly to his chest as your knees buckled. Your voice was unstable, a silent cry pleading to be heard.

“I love you” you whispered in a frail voice. The ear-deafening music from outside was tuning out from your hearing, your words slurring at the end as you repeated yourself for the last time. 

“I love y-you”

Changbin was left hugging air, his arms empty as he opened his sparkling eyes. He was close to tears because he was left there. Without you. 

“HEY! WHERE IS- oh” 

Jisung burst through the black door, the six other boys standing close behind him as they looked around the room, eventually catching eye contact with Changbin.

“She went home” Changbin said softly, letting his arms fall to the sides. Jisung inched closer to him, patting him on the shoulder where your tears were still left as a souvenir of your love. 

“She’ll come back, don’t worry about it” Jisung said with a reassuring smile, leading Changbin to the door, out of the room that smelled like sex and tenderness.

“Euw,, what is this doing here? Does nobody know how to clean up?” Felix said pointing at the used condom on the floor. Changbin’s face went cold, stopping dead in his tracks. 

“is it yours or something Changbin?” Hyunjin laughed, pushing the youngest, Jeongin, in a fit of laughter. 

The room went quiet after Hyunjin’s cold laughter. It was pretty obvious.

“YOU FUCKED HER?” Jisung screamed in Changbin’s ear, making him flinch away and holding his ear in pain. The room filled with all sorts of teasing sounds, everything from “ooh~" to “AYE” in obnoxious voices. 

“Luckily he used a condom!” Minho snarled, glancing over at Chan that was ready to beat Minho into pulp. Chan sighed, regretting that he didn’t shove the condom in Minho’s smirky face. 

“No but seriously you guys, y/n is more than you think. It’s not just another person I fucked, she actually means something to me.” 

Just when Changbin thought he had something special some of the boys started laughing even harder, ruffling his hair and poking his cheeks.

“yeah right,,, what? are you guys dating or something?” Seungmin asked, rolling his eyes.

“yes, i’m serious you guys! I love her,,,” he said with a frown, already missing your touch.

“What idiot gets into a relationship 3 months before they have to go to rehab?” Minho says, retrieving a cigarette from the red packaging in the pocket of his leather jacket. 

Oh fuck. 

Rehab.

When someone recovers from their pain is when you disappear from the club. You are no longer a lost soul. You are no longer lost within yourself. And that’s when you return to the real world, your real world. 

Keeping secrets in a relationship was deceitful in Changbin’s eyes. If you belong to someone you should be as transparent as the liquor he poured into his ice cold glass every evening. He felt guilty. You poured your heart out for him, telling him everything that had hurt for so many years and here he was, pretending. He did that a lot, mainly because he was taught to be a reliable man. It wasn’t manly to feel. 

Which is why he left his home at a young age. He didn’t care if he worked a minimum wage job and lived in a destitute area, he was content as long as he didn’t live with his parents. But when you live alone it’s not rare that isolation creeps up on you and strokes your cheek with a feather light touch, inviting you over to a dance with the demons that would soon cloud up your mind. Alcohol was Changbin’s comfort. It was the only one that didn’t fail to reassure him. It was as if the bottles spoke to him, promising him that a life intoxicated was better than the life he was currently living. 

And he fell for it.

Every time.

He couldn’t take it anymore, he wanted to live a life that is actually worth living. Change comes from within but he needed help and he had only recently realized that he had a problem, that these toxic liquids were what’s keeping him from chasing the dream life. He didn’t dream of much, just the average life would be more than enough, with someone he loved. 

But what was he supposed to do?

Take the step to recover or continue his addiction for the sake of being with you?

The demons whispered softly in his ears.

Life or Love?

Taglist ; @minholuvs @liz820​ @skztrashbag @lix-freckle3​ 

#stray kids smut #stray kids angst #changbin smut #changbin angst #skz smut #stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfic #skzsmut #skz fanfic #skz x y/n #skz x stay #skz x reader #skz x you #skz x female reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #stray kids x stay #stray kids x female reader #seo changbin smut #seo changbin angst #changbin x y/n #changbin x female reader #changbin x you

[mi-ts]

PILLARS

HEADCANONS

FLUFF ( ☁️ )

GENDER NEUTRAL READER

| GIYUU TOMIOKA

> can be little spoon or big spoon

> prefers being big spoon , so he knows that you’re there with him and not gone

> mainly because he’s lost a lot of friends and family , he’s traumatised

> likes placing his hands on your stomach , and you putting your hands on top of his , keeps him grounded

| SHINOBU KOCHO

> doesn’t like being big spoon , so she’s the little spoon

> mainly because she’s pretty small , and it’d be awkward if she were to try and spoon you

> she also likes being embraced by you , gives her a nice feeling

> sometimes she has nightmares about her sister and such , please try to comfort her if this does happen

| KYOJURO RENGOKU

> this guy radiates big spoon energy

> you can’t tell me otherwise

> loves feeling you against him

> plus he sees it as a way of somewhat bonding

> plus he’s an affectionate guy in general , specially when he’s sleepy / tired

> it’s what I’d like to think anyway

| TENGEN UZUI

> this flamboyant man is def a big spoon , change my mind 😤

> not only that , but he has 3 wives . I’d like to think that they all have a spoon train 😂

> if you want to spoon with his wives as well , go ahead , they have nothing against it

> you all enjoy the comfort and warmth of spooning each other

> however , if you don’t want to spoon with his wives + himself for whatever reason , that’s also totally fine , they’re understanding people :)

| MUICHIRO TOKITO

> doesn’t really like being big spoon , prefers being small spoon

> likes feeling you wrap your arms around him , makes him feel fuzzy , a good sort that is :)

> likes it when you kiss his neck / cheek / head wherever you can think of

> sometimes he’ll shuffle back against you unconsciously , which is pretty cute to see

| OBANAI IGURO

> downright refuses to be the big spoon , it’s a must that he’s the little spoon

> why ? because he’s practically the definition of ‘ touch starved ’ , mainly due to his past

> and he’s pretty short so it’s easier for him to be the small spoon

> likes the feeling of you embracing him , makes him feel slightly giddy

> once he trusts you enough , he’ll take off his bandages whilst you guys sleep

| KANROJI MITSURI

> she goes either way , not rlly fussy about wether she’s big or little spoon tbh

> as long as you’re happy , then she’s happy

> wanna be little spoon ? she’ll gladly be the big spoon . wanna be the big spoon ? right , she’ll get right into bed and allow you to embrace her

> likes it when you snuggle up against her

| GYOMEI HIMEJIMA

> have you seen this guy ??

> guy’s m a s s i v e

> he is definitely , without a doubt , always the big spoon

> he likes the feeling of your body against his , makes him feel like he’s somewhat protecting you

> if his hands wander places , tell him if he’s making you uncomfortable . he doesn’t mean to , it’s just that he’s blind so he can’t really see where his hands are , so please help him out and tell him where you’re comfortable for him to touch

| SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA

> big spoon

> he’s never going to be the little spoon , no matter what . you won’t be able to convince him to be little spoon

> kind of like tanjiro , his big brother instincts somewhat take place whenever he’s with you , because he wants to protect you with every fibre of his being

> sometimes he’ll just watch you sleep , not creepily tho , he just can’t get to sleep really easily , and he likes seeing your relaxed peaceful face

AUTHORS NOTE

apologies in advance if this seems pretty short or something , it’s not really meant to be long in the first place , I’m just gonna make this series short but sweet .

thank you in general for reading this ! re-blogs and likes are very appreciated ! I do in fact take constructive criticism , feel free to give some to me off or on anon , I don’t mind 💕

©️ all content belongs to mi-ts , please don’t modify or repost

| RELATED POSTS

KAMABOKO SQUAD SPOONING HEADCANONS

#giyuu fluff #giyuu headcanons #giyuu x reader #shinobu fluff #shinobu headcanons #shinobu x reader #kyojuro fluff #kyojuro headcanons #kyojuro x reader #tengen fluff #tengen headcanons #tengen x reader #muichiro fluff #muichiro headcanons #muichiro x reader #obanai fluff #obanai headcanons #obanai x reader #kanroji fluff #kanroji headcanons #kanroji x reader #gyomei headcanons #gyomei fluff #gyomei x reader #sanemi headcanons #sanemi fluff #sanemi x reader #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader #mi-ts writes

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

#Steven Universe #Steven Universe Future #SU Analysis #(I guess????) #Music #Steven Quartz Universe #Amethyst #Garnet #Pearl #Yellow Diamond #Blue Diamond #Blue Pearl #Yellow Pearl #Greg Universe #Bismuth #Spinel #Lapis Lazuli #Steg #Opal #Rose Quartz #Lars Barriga #Sadie Miller #Sapphire #Ruby #Stevonnie #Falc talks

[bowieandqueen11]

Set Me Dreaming / Bucky Barnes Imagine

Request: can you do a bucky fic where reader catches him awake in the middle of the night and fighting off some of his troubles? like maybe bucky resists any type of consolation until he finally succumbs. i am open to any of your ideas/own interpretation! thank you!! <3

Yes I can thank you!! Also Mr Barnes it’s been seven years and I am still looking respectfully 👀 

If you like, please comment and reblog!

(The lyrics are Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller/ Frank Sinatra (we’re just going to pretend this version came out at the right time aha), and I got them from Google!)

You haven’t heard this song since that night in 1943. Since the night he proposed. Since the night he left. Since the night you lost your Bucky.

‘The stars are aglow and tonight how their light sets me dreaming.’

It takes you a moment to see in the darkness of the little New York Apartment you and Bucky had managed to scrounge up the money to pay for. It certainly needed some work, and sometimes you missed that smell of antiseptic and apple pie - that warmth familiarity of Bucky patching Steve up after a fight with one hand, and trying to copy his mom’s old recipes as a treat for when you got home from work in the other. This place only smelt of car fumes, and a certain stench of must and old pine that was just a sucker punch to the stomach every time you entered. Every time the two of you were reminded how stranded Steve had left you. Buck had tried to cook for you, once, a couple of weeks ago, but you had come home to find him sitting slouched, crying, on the kitchen tiles as he sobbed out how his mind couldn’t remember the measurements his mom had written down. But it didn’t matter, you think as you finally spot the sound of the noise. Wherever and whenever you had Buck, you were home. Even if everything needed work, it was worth it.

The record player swirls slowly from its spot on the kitchen counter, languid in its spinning as the familiar notes bounce around the confining walls and fill the place, and the city, with its warm jazz. At this time of night, there’s little to compete with the rippling trumpets, or the baritone voice - just the faraway sound of car horns and the jagged breathing of something coming from the fire escape. For a moment, you jump, forgetting yourself, forgetting you weren’t trapped in Hydra anymore. And then your heart starts to drop as you untangle yourself from the blankets, getting up from where you were holding your fiancée on the floor, to spot his sitting with his back to you. His eyes are gone. You don’t know how you can tell, solely just from the rise and fall of his naked back. You just know him too well, you suppose.

He’s gone from you, at the moment, eyes glazed with a faraway mist as he looks down at flashing, neon lights and dirt-tramped streets of the city he used to know like the back of his hand. But he’s not there either. No, his mind has wandered away with the song, memories allowing him some reverie by thinking back on that day. On you. A warm glow flashes through his eyes, a smile threatening to twitch at the corners of his lips as he pictures you, the love of his life, hand intertwined with his. He had sobbed against your lips that night, forehead pressed tightly against yours as he gazed at you with terrified eyes, drinking in every feature of your face as if he knew it would be the last time he would see it. If he was going to die, he wanted to make damn sure that the last thing that ever passed his mind was you. He could die happy then, knowing that he had been given one proper, good thing in his life, feeling safe in the memory that he had loved it well. That he would go knowing he would love you forever. You pretend not to feel him shake in your grasp as you dig your fingers into your shoulder, pulling him tighter against your chest and whispering sweet nothings into the dance hall, the thought of him leaving the next morning plaguing your every thought.

‘My love, do you know that your eyes are like stars brightly beaming?’

He could barely get the words out that night, he had to mouth them against your lips and hope, his silly, foolish hope, that you would agree to marry a man who was being shipped of the next day. He just needed to go knowing that he was yours, thinking the last twenty five years you had spent joint at the hip would sway you towards the sentimental and you would agree to let him be yours, even if only for a day. It didn’t matter, he knew, as his lips trembled against your own, clenching his eyes shut to try and stop the tears spilling down as you nod your head vigorously. It didn’t matter how long you had in this life, he would be yours forever.

‘I love you, doll. I love you so much it hurts.’

‘Don’t you know I love you the same, Buck?’

He doesn’t feel you come up behind him, placing your hands on his back. Every muscle seems to be jumping out of his skin, skin flush and like a furnace to the touch, but you just wrap your arms around his waist and pull him against your back. Glancing round to see your Bucky’s face, his stubble tickles your cheek as you sigh. He’s still puffing out breath into the cold night’s air, eyes glossy and wet and by grief, filled with so much pain and love and fear that it breaks your heart. 

‘I bring you and sing you a moonlight serenade.’

Then he remembers falling. Feeling weightless in the water, gazing up at the blanket of grey sky above him, at peace in the knowledge that you were here with him, your picture still tucked into his jacket and your face the only thing he saw when he looked up at the sky, at the stars. When he finally closed his eyes, and let himself drift away to you. Then he remembers the pain. The pain of remembering you while he was tied down to that chair, jaw clenched and lips threatening to spill his sobs as they punished him for remembering you, again and again and again and again, until the end, he buries you into a pocket of his mind he hopes Hydra can’t touch. He remembers the plea that used to fall from his lips as they hit him, the tremble in his fingers once he woke up and realised that he, that James, that the Winter Soldier was holding a gun against the head of someone he had never even seen before. Not in his lifetime. But he does what he’s meant to do, what he’s told to do, finger pulling the trigger as some thought twitches at the back of his mind, telling him to keep going. To always carry out his missions, saving the world, saving you.

He doesn’t feel your lips brush against his forehead as he begins to gasp now, almost fighting back against your touch. But you only reach out to steady him, grabbing his biceps as you swing yourself over the barrier to kneel down in front of him, fingers tight as he finally starts to settle himself again. You reach up slowly, careful not to startle him away from whatever pain is haunting him, and brush his hair away from his damp forehead. You don’t miss the way he subconsciously drops his head towards your touch, the almost inaudible sigh of relief that brushes against your nose.

He finally starts to remember himself, remember where he is, eyelashes fluttering open and closed quickly. He nearly bursts into tears right there and then when he spots you, wide eyed and obviously shivering from the cold in front of him. 

‘Buck. Buck - James. It’s okay, we’re okay. You’re here with me, not back there. It’s alright.’

‘Sweetheart-’, he starts, squirming within himself as he scrambles closer to you. ‘A-are you real? You’re really here?’

‘Of course I am, Buck. I’m never leaving you. Never again.’

For a moment there’s a comfortable silence, a knowing moment of trust and understanding between the two of you, before you tug on his metal arm. He gives it to you willingly, the only person he’ll allow to touch the metal without feeling revolted with himself. You pull gently at his fingers, silently pleading for him to unfurl his fists. His breath shakes, knowing it was the same way you had brought him back to himself that day Helicarrier when he had been sent to kill you. The cruellest trick fate had ever played on him. He still cried about it in his dreams, eyes strained and throat hollow with screams as he strained against you, trying time and time again to stop his arms from hurting you. To stop himself from drowning just by the thought of you.

You- you were real. You were here, and then he found himself full on sobbing again. You shush him gently, jumping up to pull his hands away from his face, away from where he had shoved them into his eyes to try and stop himself. Yet he only grabs onto his shirt that you were wearing, fingers clenching and fists white as he pulls you down to straddle his thighs. He nestles his head into your neck, pulling you tight into his arms until he couldn’t be sure where he ended and where you began. As if there had really ever been a difference for him, anyway. You brush your hand through his hair, appreciating the little hum of delight he tried to give you as your fingers scrape the nape of his neck. He sniffles against your skin, but he’s alright. He knows that you would do anything for him. Your soulmate, your Bucky.

And Bucky knew, as he held you against him, that he would never let you go again. He knew that he couldn’t pretend he was alright anymore, that somehow and someway he would have to make amends for everything he has done - everything he has put you through. Yet some warm hope fizzled at the bottom of his heart as he felt your engagement ring bump against the goose bumps of his back, knowing he still owed you a wedding as well. 

His hands are so soft, so gentle, so careful, as he grips onto your waist. His nose bumps against your forehead the same way it had that night, all those years ago, before you had lost him. His tears stain your shirt again, and although he knew he was different now, he also knew there was still some of James Buchanan Barnes left. He knew, because you had his heart, this whole time.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes imagine #tfatws #bucky barnes x reader #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #bucky barnes fluff #marvel #the winter soldier #fatws #falcon and the winter solider spoilers #fatws imagine #marvel imagine #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #Sebastian Stan

[amateurasstrologer]

THE PLANETS #4 JUPITER (IN THE HOUSES)

Ah, Jupiter. This gentle giant. This moon hauling mama. As always, Miss Red is misread by the mainstream. Let's break it down.

What do we know about Jupiter? Something about luck, philosophy, risk taking, joke making. Alright - kind of, but not really.

Jupiter has nothing to do with stand-up and everything to do with growing up. This mammoth orb is the maturity maker. Wherever Jupiter falls in your chart shows you where you’ve got some growing to do - it’s the area where you need to learn how to manage your energy better, so you can shed that self-centered baby shit you got going on and learn how to cooperate with the big bad world and connect with deeper shit you got inside you.

Miss Red helps you organize and understand your life - Jupiter helps you take your giant, gooey glob of experiences and structure all that shit into a story with a meaning. This is why we associate Jupiter (and Sag) with philosophy - not because Jupiter is some stormy brain in the sky eating grapes and thinking thoughts for fun, but because the meaning you take away from your fantastic farrago of experiences becomes your “life philosophy.” You don’t just wake up all fresh and newly born with a deep, dimensional understanding of life, you develop that shit over time, through having and processing experiences. 

We think of Jupiter as a jovial, risking taking baddie, but the deeper dimension to this risk taking trope is that the more you put yourself out there, the more you solidify your understanding of you are. Yep, you’ve gotta live - however "living” looks like for you - because it’s through getting out there and gathering experiences that you start to figure out who the fuck you really are and what the fuck you’re actually about. Jupiter is the planet of getting your mf shit together - learning, maturing, cooperating, and developing into a fully functioning member of society.

Really, Jupiter is a bridge. It helps you move away from being a self-centered bitch and move towards being part of the bigger picture. But in order to be part of it, you gotta see it to begin with. Let Jupiter show you were you got the most potential to mature.

As always, particulars for the party people:

JUPITER IN THE FIRST (1) You better think about phasing out your insecurity fueled need to push yourself away and stop deep-throating rigid beliefs, so that you can grow into one seriously deep bitch capable of knowing, trusting and relying on herself, her feelings, and her findings above all else.

JUPITER IN THE SECOND (2) You better think about phasing out your ego-trip induced belief that you own and control shit, so that you can grow into one seriously wise bitch capable of managing and expanding all kinds of wealth - physical, mental and emotional.

JUPITER IN THE THIRD (3) You better think about phasing out your inconsiderate, unaccountable, rigid ass way of thinking, so that you can grow into one seriously focused bitch capable of intentionally directing and organizing your mind, relationships and environment.

JUPITER IN THE FOURTH (4) You better think about phasing out your weak ass definitions of “real” and your inability to deal with even a single one of your feelings, so that you can grow into one seriously grounded bitch capable of having the most stable, secure, nourishing relationships to ever grace the Earth.

JUPITER IN THE FIFTH (5) You better think about phasing out your radically incorrect self-perception and emotionally irresponsible behavior, so that you can grow into one seriously charming bitch capable of leading others, creating dope ass shit, and really, truly believing in herself.

JUPITER IN THE SIXTH (6) You better think about phasing out your self-sabotaging “it is what it is there’s nothing I can do besides blindly accept my fate” monologue, so that you can grow into one seriously aware bitch capable of refining her values and making actual moves towards creating a truly fulfilling life.

JUPITER IN THE SEVENTH (7) You better think about phasing out your insanely selfish need to avoid responsibility and emotional maturity in relationships like it’s the fucking plague, so that you can grow into one seriously fearless bitch capable of meeting other people where they’re at, ready to get your fucking change on through relationships.

JUPITER IN THE EIGHTH (8) You better think about phasing out your superiority complex “I’m deeper than you” manipulative emotional hedge fund persona, so that you can grow into one seriously real bitch capable of reaching the deepest depths and bringing all kinds of mfs together through empathy, knowledge and understanding.

JUPITER IN THE NINTH (9) You better think about phasing out your delusional, never seen a fact “I’m right and everybody else is wrong” narrative, so that you can grow into one seriously open bitch capable of long game planning and management and spiritual understanding.

JUPITER IN THE TENTH (10) You better think about phasing out your “nobody understands me” bs that continues to excuse your unhealthy, secretive behavior, so that you can grow into one seriously powerful bitch capable of holding herself to the highest standard and fucking living by it.

JUPITER IN THE ELEVENTH (11) You better think about phasing out your endless list of excuses as to why you can’t rise the fuck up to the occasion and make a single difficult decision, so that you can grow into one seriously visionary bitch capable of standing the fuck up for what’s right and putting your genius plans into action.

JUPITER IN THE TWELFTH (12) You better think about phasing out your unaccountable, tree-in-the-wind filled need to get blown around by everybody’s energy, so that you can grow into one seriously perceptive bitch capable of emotionally holding her own and subtly and effectively managing the group vibe.

Peace, bitches. Happy charting.

XO BULLSHIT FREE ASTROLOGY

#jupiter #jupiter in the houses #big red #sweet red #miss red

[thegingeralien]

Thought I might share my “doing homework with adhd” tips in case the might help even just one person (because that would make me feel happy).

Who am I to be giving you advice? Good point! I am still terrible at studying and I’m 26 and at University for the millionth time. But I have studied A LOT in my 22 years of schooling with varying degrees of success.

I see a lot of people, especially teenagers or first year university/college students, with ADHD asking for tips on how to study. But if you do a google search most of the websites and advice that comes up can be extremely ableist. So I hope I can help someone!

TIPS TO HELP YOU STUDY WHEN YOU HAVE AN ADHD GREMLIN BRAIN!:

1. Chewing gum!

- This might come across as a weird one, but it has actually really helped me. I use it as a form of stimming to help keep me focused and concentrating. Other forms of stimming can potentially end up being more of a distraction when you actually need to be reading or writing - but they can help if you just need to be listening. Try not to get a bubble gum or fun flavoured one though - as they can end up making your mouth feel dry, lose flavour quickly, and just give your brain way too many sensory things to become distracted with.

2. Buying colour coded stationary!

- New stationary can make me really excited to start studying, but that excitement never lasts long and the act of buying stationary can sometimes become it’s own hobby. That’s not what we are going for here. I really recommend, especially if you are a visual learner like me, to buy colour coded stationary. This means removable page markers, different coloured post it notes, highlighters, sometimes even pens. This way if your mind jumps from one topic to the other, it doesn’t matter. Go with the flow. Forcing your ADHD gremlin brain to focus can be extremely counter intuitive. So pick a colour for each topic, and stick to that system to find organisation among your own chaos!

3. Buy a really cheap, boring year diary with hardly any writing inside.

- Not sure if your school/university has their own diary but they can be perfect for what I am on about. Generally you can find them for really cheap, soft cover, no writing or designs within the dates. Just dates, days, weeks and lines where you can write your homework. This helped me a lot in High School. I wish I had kept doing it in University, but I am good with giving advice, and not so much with taking it. I used to decorate the outside of it however I wanted. Some years I would redecorate the same diary every semester. In the public holidays or holiday days I would colour those lines in with different highlighters to make it look like a rainbow. But every assignment due date, homework, draft, rewrite, form I had to bring back, library book due date, school activity days, ANYTHING to do with school I would write in there with reminds and check lists. Important due dates would be highlighted, general homework and daily to do lists t(o help me not leave my assignments to the last minute) would have a tick box beside them (because ticking tick boxes is free dopamine). Try to not put birthdays or fun things in it. This is a small way to stay on track so it helps you actually stay on track with the big things when you’re home.

4. Big whiteboards stuck on the wall where you can’t avoid it.

- This is not something I had in school, but I so wish I did. I have been using this recently to keep on top of house work (as maintaining your own house is tiring) and my small business or other things I really can’t avoid. If I physically write it down (not just in my phone) it psychologically does help you commit it to memory. Again, physically putting a line through a task you just completed is a hecking great rush of dopamine. But the biggest reason I love my white board, I can’t ignore it. It is stuck to the wall and is never out of sight, out of mind. I can’t put my phone or diary down and then refuse to look at it until I’m past the due date. Again, I’m not a perfect person, there are days where I don’t do anything I have written on the white board. But the great thing is, I don’t have to continuously feel like I failure, as I can wipe it all off the next morning or week and start fresh. I also put important things I have to remember that I’m doing during the week so I don’t forget them.

5. Icky Medication.

- I know not everyone wants to be on medication, and I understand. I am not forcing you to. No matter what your opinions are, you lovely gremlin who is still reading this post, regarding medication, you are valid and I respect you. My personal experience with medication has not been the best. I have been misdiagnosed for a severe chunk of my academic life which has seen me trying to focus and maintain school work under some even worse states then I am unmedicated! However, since receiving my diagnosis and finding the right ADHD medication for me, I have the ability to get so much work done without having to unnecessarily struggle. It’s unfortunately not magic, it will not turn me into a robot that makes me do work and turn out incredible, noble peace prize winning assignments (as much as I wish that were possible). I still have the ability to be a lump, doom scrolling through tumblr, forgetting to eat, and ignoring responsibilities. But it really helps me when I sit down and start that thing that isn’t fun. Yesterday it helped me hyperfocus on cleaning my office which was a terrifying room to be in. So it’s pretty close to magic in my opinion!

6. Accessing Disability Support at your place of learning.

- Not all of you taking the time to read this will have either a) an offical diagnosis or b) a good disability support available to you wherever you are completing your studies. And that is okay. This dot point just won’t be for you right now. But keep it in mind for a time when it might apply to you, as it’s something I never thought I would need, but will never take for granted ever again.

- If you have an offical diagnosis and Disability Support, make an appointment with the disability support adviser. DO IT NOW! Get your psychiatrist to write a diagnosis letter outlining that you have <enter superpower that makes you hilarious here> and that you are receiving <enter x,y,z treatment here> and that you would benefit from receiving <enter what you have always wished you had on the days you can’t make your ADHD gremlin brain do the thing here>. Now these benefits can be, but not limit to: automatic extensions on ALL assignments, extra time on exams, extra breaks to walk around while taking exams, special consideration when marking assignments, my university allows me to take exams in a separate room with only the other students in my subject who also have disability support (occasionally I have taken an exam alone with only a tutor present) so I don’t get distracted, permission to take fidget items into class or exam (I have the option to wear headphones, as long as I can display that they are not connected to anything). Maybe you can come up with some great ones for you with your disability advisor or your psychiatrist.

- The disability advisor will often go through your course outline with you at the start of each semester or year. This is annoying and a great time for disassociating, but can be useful in hindsight because you are made aware of everything that will come up during your class so you are not surprised. Because lets be honest, it is unlikely you are going to look at the course calendar too often.

- Side Note: I make an appointment every semester with my disability support officer for my area of study to make sure I have my special considerations for the year. Now I may go through the whole year without ever using my considerations. However, the fact that I know they are there takes an insane amount of pressure off of myself. If I’m having an insanely screwy loony tune mental health moment, I can email my coordinator my disability plan and say I need an extension due to personal reasons, and WHOOP, there it izzzzz.

7. Dedicated one thing or a few things that have nothing to do with food/alcohol/other substances to reward yourself with for doing the thing!

- This may not work for everyone. It doesn’t always work for me. I used to reward myself with food, but that only reinforced my stimming with overeating and my already bad relationship with food. And I feel as though that would be the same with any other substance that can be linked with addiction. (Addiction is a tough word, cause what aren’t I addicted to, I have ADHD, but hopefully you get what I mean!).

-Now, boring try and not choose this aside, lets think of somethings that work really well as rewards!

- My partner likes to come give me a kiss and a hug when ever they have written and reread a paragraph, you might buy a book when you get a really good mark, you might want to go make a cup of tea and watch an episode of your hyperfixation after studying for <enter a good period of time here>, you might allow yourself to partake in an activity you usually do while procrastinating (but at least this time you know you aren’t putting something off), talk to someone who you know will tell you they are proud of you as they understand the mental struggle you go through to concentrate (if you can’t think of anyone, it is 110% okay if that person are the amazing people on tumblr or the adhd tumblr chats. We will freaking pop a bottle of champagne for you cause we get it!).

- Try and make what ever you choose be something in a different room or away from your working space. Getting out can really calm you down.

8. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance.

- This is true for anything, but I don’t mean just asking your teacher to give you extra help understanding the task and marking rubric. Many people online, tutors, librarians at your school, past or present students offer assistance rereading and making small edits (they won’t make it magical unfortunately) to your assignments. If you are like me and once you have written or completed the dreaded thing, you can not imagine or force your gremlin brain reread or edit the thing. So it can help to just delegate this to someone else, who hasn’t read it before, so they won’t disassociate or skim read it. They will often notice things you never would have even if you were neurotypical as that is just what happens when you have been working on something for so long.

9. Repetitive music.

- It generally helps if this has no lyrics. Lo-fi is amazing. Classical is alright too if it works for you, but both my partner and I agree that it can really assist you to keep up pace and focus when the beat is a high and repetitive (almost meditative) tempo.

10. Limit your screen space.

- This is a tip completely from my partner @dr-adhd who also has ADHD, is an avid PC gamer and is consistently in a battle with their gremlin brain to focus on completing their PhD. They have discovered that it really helps them to limit their screen space - simply put, work on one screen only. They have done more work more easily when they have their one screen on their laptop to focus on. Whereas their office has multiple screens so they could be playing runescape, watching YouTube, listening to lo-fi and doing work - which never worked (shocking right hahaha).

11. At the risk of sounding like a Mum... Put your phone and other electronics other than the assignment necessary one, away.

- I am a Mum, but to a fluffy puppy dog, so I hate to sound like my Mum when I was in high school, but she was right. Mobiles are the single easiest and biggest distraction in ADHD history. I often, even at coffee shops, have to turn my phone over so that I am not consistently looking at it every time the screen lights up to say the pizza place has sent me a coupon, or a carpet place that has been having a sale since I was born is... still having a sale, or a friend from school wants you to watch this TikTok. Even though you might not want to ignore your friends, because people pleasing, difficulting making/keeping friends and RSD are hecking real things, but they can all wait. Trust me, none of them are urgent. That TikTok will still be funny in an hour or two. And I’m probably completely right when I say that whomever just messaged you, never replies as quickly as you want them too. So I doubt they are going to think twice if you are MIA to finish your thing.

My partner or I might add to this later, but at the moment I already know that I probably wouldn’t read this wall of words if I was the one reading it, so if you are still with me, THANK YOU and I really hope I might have helped you. Sorry for the mound of words, but maybe you can reblog, screen shot, or save this and read a dot point at a time or refer to it when you need. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, I promise what ever it is, I’ve asked the same thing once in my life or something MUCH stupider.

#ADHD #Study tips #actually adhd #autistic #adhd #neurodivergent #adhd study tips #advice #adhdstudytips #studying with adhd #adhd advice #ask adhd #adhd mood #adhd life #adhd vibe #disability support #uni support #school advice

[devildomdoofus]

Lemon Dreams: Part 1

[NSFW]

Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan

a bit of spicey lil dreams the brothers have of MC. If requested, I’ll add the undateables (minus Luke) into a Part 3.

Gender-Neutral as always.

MINORS:

DO NOT INTERACT

DO NOT PROCEED

Be smart, have common sense.

I’m not responsible for your irresponsibility.

You see the warnings. I put them out plainly. Adhere.

‼️WARNINGS‼️

NSFW, mature theme, mature content, implied intercourse, nudity, swearing, light bondage, BDSM, tidbit of pet play, wet dreams,

IF I MISSED ANY, PLEASE INFORM ME

Author’s Note (Sorry, I’ll try to be brief):

Trying my hand at some “light” N S F W content to see how I do and see how it goes.

Thank you all, once again, for the love and support and positive responses!! You’re enjoyment is the reason I keep doing what I love to do✨ Please: stay healthy, stay safe, stay you, and stay ruling them all, MCs 💕

- DevildomDoofus

💙Lucifer:

Regrettably, it has been nearly a millennia since he’s had any amount of a decent shuteye due to his brothers’ antics, his oversight of R.A.D., and obligations to Diavolo so you can only imagine the amount of fatigue that he felt in his mind, body, and soul. But because of his image and his own personal desire to be nothing short of perfect, he couldn’t simply rest whenever or wherever he pleased. It was outlandish to even consider the idea. Unfortunately, the side effects of denying himself any form of rest were starting to show. It was causing him to make mistakes he wouldn’t normally make and Diavolo had to personally intervene, using his authority on behalf of his dear friend’s health or lack thereof and demanded that he take a day off. He was the only one in all of the realms that could try and convince this workaholic to put on the breaks. You, yourself, have tried before but Lucifer was as stubborn as the days of summer were long and you felt like you were talking to a brick wall. But because Lucifer could not deny his prince’s demands, he reluctantly obliged... but not without absolute confirmation that nothing would go wrong while he was absent and as soon as he felt rested enough, he would return immediately.

Locking himself away in his room while putting a soundproof spell on the outside of it, he finally sits down at his desk and leans back in his chair as he sluggishly closes his eyes. The silence was both mildly relaxing and extremely uncomfortable as it was so rare for the world around him to be so... quiet. so undisturbed. So peaceful.

It was a bit unnerving.

He sighs deeply. This whole resting thing was going to be a lot more difficult than he originally thought. He stands up to go grab a vinyl record, places it on the antique gramophone and turns the device on. The orchestra makes their way through the metal funnel and the melody of the instruments echo beautifully throughout his room. “Much better,” he hums to himself. He tosses his coat aside, unbuttons his vest and drops it to the floor, removes his button-up shirt, kicks off his shoes, and does away with his belt while his pants follow suit. He dons his nighttime robe and finally slides into his bed. As soon as he hits the mattress, his eyes shut and his mind turns off, allowing him to drift swiftly into a deep slumber.

The dream started out like any other dream he’s had in his life; it’s mundane and not much is going on. It’s practically the same as ‘bringing work home with him’ but in his dreams. He’s at his desk, crossing his t’s, dotting his i’s, finalizing some paperwork, and the like, while the stress from his waking hours begins to find its way back to him like a boomerang.

Then, as if by magic, all of his stress melted away as soon as he heard a knock on his door along with your voice calling for him softly on the other side. He smirks. “You may enter.” He kept his head low as you stepped in due to the fact that he was finishing signing a particular paper. “Just a moment,” he instructs, as the last cursive letter finds its place on the paper. He begins to lift his eyes to meet yours. “Now, what can I do for yo-...” He freezes.

There you were, standing before him, in nothing but one of his ties hanging loosely around your neck. His jaw clenches and his fist tighten into a ball so firmly that his knuckles turn white under his gloves.

‘Like a lamb to it’s slaughter,’ he quotes, internally.

Needless to say, the dream takes a more DRASTIC turn and he’s got you bent over the desk, hands tied up with his tie that you so graciously considered to bring with you, and his name pouring out of your lips like a faucet. He’s taking you all for himself, piece by divine piece, with every snap of his hips, bite of your skin, and claw of your flesh. What a sight you were beneath him.

The moment he wakes, his body is covered in a ‘morning’s dew’ of sweat and the sheets of his bed have become painfully heavy on his lower half. His heart is still thumping wildly in his chest and his eyes are darting everywhere in his room, ensuring that he’s alone and no one can see him in such a disheveled state. He uses part of his robe to dab away the sweat from his brow and then rubs his eyes as he collects himself.

Spends the next many few hours calming himself down and hoping that he is blessed by some unholy miracle where NOBODY walks in...

especially you...

with nothing but his tie hanging loosely around your neck and-...

Ah shit.

The following morning at breakfast, he is eyeing you rather heavily from across the table and his brothers take notice but never dare to say a word. They just assume that you’ve done something to piss him off again and want no part of it.

They are not entirely wrong, though. You had unknowingly irked him quite a bit.

You entered his dreams without permission, made such a delectable spectacle of yourself in front of him, and caused him to feel things that no other demon, angel, human, nor any other soul for that matter, has been able to make him feel. And now he has to deal with these explicit thoughts and feelings, especially when you’re around or in his vicinity, along with many other things that demand his attention and it’s all just so irritating. Delightfully irritating. The kind of irritating he secretly enjoys.

The next few days, you never really get the sense that anything is off with Lucifer for how well he carries himself, no matter his circumstances, and yet... he seems to be less physical with you. Normally, he would give you the occasional hand on the shoulder or upper back when you needed guidance, allow you to lean on his shoulder when your days had been particularly rough and you needed to rest, or pinch your cheek when he teased you but lately... he wouldn’t even keep eye contact with you for very long without turning away and- was that a hint of pink in his cheeks? No, surely you are imagining things. Lucifer, blushing? Has the devildom froze over?

💛Mammon:

This poor, sweet and a little bit sleazy man was just SO exhausted from having to get up early that morning when he’d normally sleep in, to go to a school he doesn’t ever really pay attention to, as well as constantly keep lower demons from getting anywhere near his precious MC, bribe Levi to do his homework in exchange for an exclusive Ruri-Chan figurine (which he went into further debt to obtain), keep his overbearing fanbase from his modeling jobs happy on social media... it all was simply too much for The Great Mammon to be doing when he could alternatively be doing something better. Like being lazy sleeping off this R.A.D lag.

He had skipped his last few remaining classes and told you he was headed to your room to crash before school let out and you two could hang out later. He plopped onto your bed, nuzzled his face into one of your pillows, and fell asleep shortly after to your sweet aroma surrounding him.

His dream began as they typically do, with him gambling his Grimm for higher payouts or watching the Devildom stock market fluctuate in his favor... or more often times than he’ll ever admit, it’s just the two of you spending some quality time together alone for a change.

Only this time, his dream didn’t end up the way it typically did.

In his dream, he was sitting next to you on the sofa with his arm resting behind your head wanting to wrap it around you so fucking badly and watching whatever you had put on when it was interrupted by the winning lottery ticket read out. He leapt from couch with a big yell and the winning ticket in hand, and rushed to hug the tv and to kiss the demon inside of it, thanking him, Lady Luck, and anyone else involved in his incredible fortune today. As he turned around to come squeeze you tight with excitement and have you share in his celebration, his whole body tensed and he stopped in his tracks. He had become a deer in the headlights.

You were now lewdly postured on the couch, bare and exposed, excluding how you were practically dripping in gold jewelry/accessories whilst surrounded by enormous piles of Grimm. With one finger, you beckoned him over.

To say that this is one of his all time favorite fantasies would be THE understatement of the millennia.

He was in front then over you in a matter of milliseconds, his demon form taking over his body and stealing noises from you that the entire House of Lamentation- no- the entire Devildom could hear and FUCK he loved that thought almost as much as he adored you he cared about you; the thought that the entire Devildom could hear that you were his and his alone, that no other soul could make you feel like this.

And just as it was about to get really good, he wakes up.

Red faced, breathing heavily, and a thick coat of sweat all over his body. Not to mention the newfound, painful tightness in his pants.

He’s jerking his head around the room to confirm hoping to deny that is was all simply a dream, and to be certain that you hadn’t come back from school early or something and found him like this.

“Unholy shit.” He wipes the sweat from his face and then takes his phone in his hand to check the time. “UNHOLY SHIT!!” You had texted that you were on your way back home 10 minutes ago! He had to be quick.

He replaced the sweaty sheets and pillow cases with new ones, adjusting them so that it looked as it had before he slept on them, tied his school uniform coat around his waist to disguise the ‘friendly neighborhood bachelor,’ and darted like a bat out of devildom to his room, avoiding major hallways and doors to ensure that no one could stop him or chase him down and see him in his predicament.

You can be sure that for the next few weeks, he’s avoiding you like the plague. He sends texts that he is “paying off a debt and can’t make it,” or “Sorry MC, I’m a little tied up at the moment. This Grimm won’t make itself.” and to you it was a little odd, but nothing he hasn’t exactly done before, so you go about your days as normal. Poor Mammon has once spent an entirety of four months working a few jobs to pay off one big loan.

If only you knew how often he was reliving that dream in his head, over and over and over again. For such a thing to become reality? Well... he feels he’d have better luck winning the lottery. But just as he gambled, he wouldn’t give up so easily.

🧡Leviathan:

It is not uncommon for Leviathan to have certain dreams about certain individuals he enjoys, be it anime characters, video game characters, idols that he fawns over, etc. It’s normal. Quite often, in fact, but he would rather LITERALLY DIE before he ever admits to such a thing, much less have anyone think he has a crush. With his brothers as they are known to be, he’d never live it down. Which is one of the reasons why he keeps himself locked away in his room and goes on binges of whatever it is he’s invested in at the time. He’s left alone to do and be as much of himself as he pleases without judgment. It is one particular episode of an anime he had been bingeing for several hours that has him with his head resting upon his keyboard and ever so slightly snoring away as the characters converse in the background. It wasn’t boring in the least, it’s just that his eyes refused to stay open any longer and his body decided for him that it was about time for a proper nap.

His dream began as normal, with him on a quest to save the renowned, royal heir from the ten-headed beast that guarded the tower in which they were kept. The journey to the tower was extensive and not without its obstacles, the battle was epic, in every sense of the word, and the reward for it’s heads would match the gratification of the victory that ensued it.

Little did he know that in that tower, it wasn’t just any royal heir lying in wait for their prince to come, as they had always been. It was you.

You, in all of your glory, draped across the bed and adorned with the finest of cloths that were barely covering your most intimate of skins.

As he entered your bedroom chambers, expecting to find a fictional character he adored in his waking hours, he stops dead in his tracks and his entire body turns red hot in matter of seconds. You could easily hear the thumping of his heart throwing heavy blows at his ribcage, and, if you looked close enough, you could see the steam trickling out of his ears. You could also hear the clinking of his amor, the metal plates shaking against one another as he trembles before you.

Leviathan.exe has stopped working.

Yes, he’s had plenty of dreams like this before but.. fuck.. they were never of you. Much less like this. Believe him, he’s tried on many occasions to at least see your face or hear your voice, ANYTHING. But inevitably, his anxiety and shyness won in the end and you never came passing through his dreams... until now.

You leant against one arm, your lips curling into a smile, and then beckoned him silently with one crook of a finger.

Anxiety and shyness who?

He quickly does away with the heavy armor, tossing them aside, and crawls across the bed to you, to your face, to those precious lips.

He takes a hold of them in his own and seemingly devours you as he strips you of what little cloth covered you and then pushes you back down against the bed. The dream continues with your bodies intertwining in every way that earned him the lewdest of noises from you.

Until he jerks awake with his face a deep shade of crimson, body covered from head to toe in a mist of sweat, and a heartbeat that could put a drum solo to shame. He quickly scans his surroundings as he’s coming back to reality, making sure he’s the only one within a mile’s radius. If anyone thought he was a hermit now, you can only imagine what it would be like if he was caught looking the way that he did. The anime that he had fallen asleep to was now on a screen that was asking for confirmation if he was still watching. He presses the power button on his computer and wipes away the sweat on his brow before leaning back in his chair, eyes glued to the ceiling as he’s recollecting the dream. He sees the faces you were making in pleasure pass through his mind once more and it makes his face turn 30 shades redder and increases the painful tightness in his snug sweatpants. He shakes his head, no longer wanting to continue digging this grave of overwhelming lust, and plants his head back onto the keyboard. Lord Diavolo, please, just kill him now.

The following months, Leviathan stays locked away in his room and avoids you as if you were the final boss of a game he never wants to stop playing. He knew that if he saw you, got near you, or even heard your name being mentioned, there would be no way of stopping his thoughts, his body’s reactions to those thoughts, nor his brother’s comments about how he’s “acting awfully strangely.”

As much as he wishes that he never had the dream in the first place because of all of the trouble it’s causing, he can’t help but relive it over and over again, putting it on repeat in his mind. But to admit to you these powerful feelings and attempt to bring it to reality? Only normies do such a thing... right?

💚Satan:

Line after line, chapter after chapter, book after book, he simply could not put the new series he had discovered down. He was so invested, he’d finish one book and immediately pick up the next. His mind was reeling far too fast for him to stop now and nothing in all of the three realms could do so. That is until his own body waved it’s white flag and begged for him to shut his eyes, even if for just moment. Satan bargained, internally, that he’d allow himself roughly thirty minutes of rest before he’d pick back up where he left off. He sets the book on a nearby desk, settles down onto his loveseat and closes his eyes.

As a man of many talents and faces, his dreams were known to be as heavily diverse as he was, and often times reflected whatever book he had been reading, philosophy he had been pondering, or stress he had been managing. No one particular type of dream frequented more than another.

That being said, in the past few weeks, you had been a bit more physical with him. Whether it was a simple brush of the hands as you two reached for the same novel, late night study sessions ending up in late night study and cuddling sessions, or the occasional linking of arms as the pair of you walked the length of a museum and studied its inhabitants. It goes without saying that you were making an impression on him and his mind, leaving little to no room for any other thoughts than the ones involving you. Naturally, you had found your way into his dreamworld and you were the one constant in the ever changing slumber visions.

The dreams that you were involved in, which were now a majority of them, were mostly sweet; the most intimate being the one time you had placed a chaste kiss upon his cheek. If you were to ask him about these dreams that had him chipper than usual, he would smile and tell you that “they were simply pleasant hallucinations but nothing more.” And he’d be lying through his teeth, desperately trying to keep his cheeks from reddening in front of you. If you were lucky enough that his gaze lingered, you’d catch the tint of pink making its way across his face. The poor inner romantic in him couldn’t help himself. He’s mastered the art of poker face in its entirety, but when it came to you, his willpower and calm demeanor waned into nothingness and he was like putty in your hands. Just don’t push it or there will be Devildom to pay.

This particular time around, though, his dream would take a more unforeseen turn.

In his dream, he had invited you to join him on an outing over to the Royal Library and you two were now making your way to your favorite lone table in the farthest back corner, hidden behind the many shelves of books. After claiming your usual spot, he went to gather the books he wanted to go through and planted himself in the chair to finally open them up and get started. Meanwhile, you had wandered off, presumably, to find and create your very own mountain of novels to conquer.

An hour or so passed and he had made his way through five of his books when he felt a tap against the cover of the one he was currently reading. “Forgive me, MC, but I’m almost done with this paragraph and I need just one more moment to do so.” Another tap against the cover. “May it wait, MC? I’m nearly finished.” This time, you gingerly grabbed the tip of his book and tilted it away from him (a pet peeve of his). Just as he was about to give you his trademark glare of warning, his eyes widen and his jaw clenches, with his fingers letting go of the book and tightening into a fist taut enough to turn his knuckles white.

There you stood before him in little to no clothing, fluffy little cat ears and a tail to match, with a leash and collar adorning your precious neck. You took his stiffened hand, ever so slowly opened it up, and delicately placed the end of the lead into his palm, flashing him your cheekiest grin.

Now you’ve gone and done it. He snaps.

He jerks the end of the lead so that you’re aggressively pulled forward, bending over the table and sending the piles of books to the floor with audible thuds, and your lips crash into his. He uses his free hand to trap cradle the other side of your face as he devours your lips, devours your taste. Impatient and hungry, he soon lets you go with a low growl before standing up and dragging you behind him, forcefully, by the lead, coming to the front of a shelf that leant against a wall and grabbed your waist, lifting you up to push you against it, having more books tumble to the floor with a sound thud, while once again, taking your lips with his. Something about the way you looked, the way you sounded because of his actions, drove him completely mad.

Before it could go any further, he jerks wakes to the sound of someone knocking on his door. He quickly scans his surroundings and when he finds it empty, he breathes a heavy sigh of relief. The knocks continue and from beyond the door, a familiar voice requests his audience. “Satan? It’s Solomon. My apologies, but I just wanted to return a borrowed book.”

He reaches for a nearby cloth and dabs away the sweat that covered his face. He steadies his breathing and in the stablest voice he could muster, he answers back, “Alright. One moment please.”

“Take your time,” the sorcerer replies.

He gathers himself quickly, as the master of his own emotions does, hoisted up from the loveseat, straightens himself out and starts to head for the door but with a quick glance downwards, he pauses. There’s no way he could greet Solomon with such a visible... display...

He takes his coat from the coatrack, wraps it around his waist and finally opens the door with a welcoming smile.

“Thank you kindly for the recommendation. It was a pleasant read,” Solomon tittered in recollection then immediately shifted into a frown of concern. “Satan... are you alright? Forgive my intrusion, but you seem a bit disheveled.” The disheveled man in question nods, chuckling in hopes of deterring Solomon from pressing any further by lightening his aura. “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you for your concern. I simply had a bit of a nightmare.” Solomon raised a brow and Satan continued in his tall tale. “It had been so long since I’ve had one, so I’m sure you can imagine how unnerving it’s effects had on me.” Moments passed like molasses as Solomon pondered what Satan had said and the uncomfortable silence was wearing down on Satan’s last minute, makeshift composure. “Thank you for returning the book,” Satan’s voice firmly interjecting the fellow wise man’s thoughts as he received the book from his hands, “and I’m delighted that you enjoyed yourself.” He holds the book in front of where the coat covered his waist. “If you wish for more recommendations, I’ll be happy to share them with you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some tea to drink and a book to read to calm my nerves. Good day, Solomon.” Before Solomon could get a final word in, Satan slips back into his room and shuts the door. For good measure, he locks it and turns the deadbolt. He shuffles back over to the loveseat where it all began and dropped down, pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out a heavy sigh. The blush that wanted so desperately to creep it’s way into his complexion the moment he’d awoken was now set free and his entire face turned red. He knew how to keep a tight grip on every other emotion he’s ever had... but love? Lust? This was going to be a challenge.

Outside of the door, not having moved an inch, Solomon stood with his chin snug between the crook of his forefinger and thumb. “Can demons have nightmares...?” He audibly contemplated as he waited a moment, following his train of thought before asking himself aloud again, “If so... then why did Satan have an erection?”

A pair of delicate hands found their way to Solomon’s shoulders and he glanced over them to see Asmodeus leaning in close to his ear. “It’s called a kink, darling.” Solomon politely shoos away the embodiment of lust with a gentle wave of his hand before starting down the hall from which he came, with the demon practically skipping in tow. “Kinks, we both know, I’m aware of. I had just assumed that his.. situation.. would be more relative to Belphegor.”

“Well,” Asmodeus chirped, “that’s what you get for assuming.”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #otome #mine #my posts #devildomdoofus #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me mc #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #mc

[ridethewritings]

spending a day with the boys. (headcanons!)

request: hey, i got a request!! i know this is super like general lmao i hope it's enough to work with! but maybe some headcanons on how each of the boys would choose to spend a day off from band duties with the reader! thanks in advance, dude!☺️

a/n: thank you @glambby for being my very first request. i’m forever grateful! :’) i hope you like these headcanons! i may or may not have gotten super emotional while writing cliff's headcanons. </3

warnings: none!

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james hetfield:

- being with james, you knew you had signed up for everything that came with this package. you fucking knew that you were about to have fun when he brought out some liquor from your liquor cabinet.

- this living room sure as hell was big enough for the both of you to get drunk and dance around, singing the lyrics to some random music you put on the stereo.

- the drunken stumbles of the both of you sent you into a fit of laughter as you slowly crumpled to the floor. james would have a huge grin on his now reddened face, cheeks pink from laughter.

- there is nothing like getting stupid, silly drunk with james hetfield. you thanked whoever was in the sky that you two didn't have neighbors in close enough proximity to y'all. hell, you damn sure knew if you did that you'd be getting noise complaints.

- once you two calmed yourselves, james brought out one of his acoustic guitars. another thing you absolutely loved about spending time with him this way. he gets relaxed, and he plays whatever he wants, and you sit there with a glass, the last few sips of your liquor in it.

- god damn, this man can sing. listening to him sing was amazing. it always amazed you at how talented he was, and it makes you wonder how the fuck you got to this point, being with him, the love of your life.

kirk hammett:

- this boy and his horror movies. you like horror movies too? "new horror movie out! let's go to the movies tonight-"

- "kirk, honey, you just got home today. relax-"

- "this movie looks so good though, just look at it!"

- eventually you gave in, and to be honest, you looked at the trailer and unfortunately, it did look like a good movie. now you REALLY had to see it.

- at the movies, he lets you get all the snacks you want, and he gets some himself, and of course he's getting the largest bucket of buttery popcorn for the two of you to share. he wants to make sure you both have everything you possibly need so that way the two of you wouldn't have to get up during the movie.

- go to the bathroom BEFORE you get into the movie, too! just so you don't miss any of the movie. if you do end up having to go again, he won't be upset, but instead, he'd follow you out so he can make a soda run for you after because your sodas ran out.

- oh yes, reclining in the top row of chairs and holding hands between all of the snacks you both put out and started munching on, stealing little kisses from you every now and then.

- needless to say, you two had a blast, and when you went home, you both went to bed, your head on his chest listening to his heartbeat slowing to a resting.

lars ulrich:

- walking through downtown, checking out small shops, his hand was in yours almost the whole time. crossing the street, he would never let your hand go, he'd keep you near him at all times. this man is protective.

- the street was lit with dim street lanterns, and the brick sidewalks made ways for the people in town to get around easily. there was music thumping throughout the town from not only the restaurants, but a small music store you spotted.

- you ended up dragging him into the music store to look at the metallica records. whoops? and the first one you grabbed to look at was the and justice for all record, which you knew had a picture of lars on the back. "look at you!" you said softly, pointing your finger at the picture of him.

- your comments on the photo made him have to resist the urge to smile, his cheeks getting rosy as he let out a small and barely audible laugh. and thank GOD no one noticed that it was actually him, lars ulrich, in the music store as you were making your way around, looking at the metallica albums happily.

- as much as he loved seeing you excited, and seeing your happiness about his band's success, he knew it was almost time for the two of you to get going.

- you've both never been in this town before, and you loved it already. you loved the hustle and bustle of this small town, the sidewalks crowded with small groups of people every once in a while, which wasn't a problem because they usually kept on their side and passed y'all without hesitancy.

- it was great, until he checked the time, then he took your hand, telling you that you both needed to leave.

- mans really made a secret reservation to a really really great restaurant that was located in this town. that was why he wanted y'all to be here this late. you weren't complaining about the town, though. you loved the streets and the small stores. this town was pretty cute.

- when he led you towards a restaurant that you laid your eyes on when you passed it moments ago, you made an audible noise.

- the smile that appeared on his face told you everything. and you loved him for that.

- the restaurant smelled and looked absolutely stunning, and he knew you wanted to go there when you passed it before. and honey, disappointment was not a word in your vocabulary when you left that restaurant. you two had a blast, and in fact, that restaurant was now your number one favorite. that food was BANGIN'.

cliff burton:

- cliff would be the person to take you out for a ride in his car, and just park at a peaceful and quiet place that he knows won't have other people at. just a regular hangout place that only he knows.

- it's nothing too fancy, but it's a great place to just relax and get away from society. how he knew about this place, you have no idea, but you're glad he took you here.

- he'd probably smoke a small bit, listening to music on the car radio, and eventually he'd turn it up so the two of you could go outside and sit on the hood of the car, taking in the fresh air.

- he would let you rest your head on his shoulder, and smile when you point out different clouds and their shapes. stay out for a little longer and the both of you would be looking at the stars, the first constellation he points out, being orion's belt.

- if you were hungry afterwards once he'd taken you home, he would call and order in.

- being in cliff's presence was and always has been a blessing from the stars, and you were very very grateful to have him. he may be quiet and chill, but you love him for it, and it always makes you relaxed whenever you are able to spend time with him. no matter how you spend that time.

jason newsted:

- you found yourself mesmerized by jason's curly hair blowing in the wind while the top of the convertible was down, the two of you going 85 on the freeway towards the mountains.

- boy were you excited to spend time with him for the night in that cabin in the mountains, seeing the pictures of the cabin and the views online before you went and booked a cabin over call.

- well, you were not disappointed when you rolled up to the cabin. even the views while driving up the mountain were gorgeous. remembering the way jason compared the mountain to you, saying that the views were gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as you.

- he said that, and all you could do was let out a small laugh, and he noticed that what he said, was in fact cheesy. but it was okay, because you loved him.

- getting into the cabin, the first thing you noticed was the warm smell of vanilla and cinnamon. maybe from the candles, maybe from the brand new bottle of rum that you spotted in the small liquor cabinet, along with some small shot glasses that were tempered with the gentlest of hands in warm red and orange color.

- the rest of the night went extremely well, you both had a nice dinner, some drinks, and relaxed in the outside hot-tub that sat in the corner of the screened in back porch, which overlooked the mountains of trees, a lake in the middle of the valleys.

- sleeping with him next to you for a night had to be the best feeling in the world, being in his arms after he was away for so long. it really takes it's toll on you, and he knows it. every time he has to leave, he apologizes profusely, and you tell him it's okay, that it's his job. and hell, whenever he does have free time for you, he always misses you too.

robert trujillo:

- what can i say? robert is a romantic, much like lars. he will want to take you out, no ifs ands or buts about it. insist that you two should stay home? sure, but he’ll find a way to make it romantic. want to go out? you bet your ass he’ll take you wherever you want to go.

- if you want to stay home, he would definitely close the blinds and curtains, make the house dimly lit instead of all bright from the light outside.

- hungry? he’ll cook for you, and you better not get up to try and help him. and to be honest, he’d cook a slammin’ meal.

- if you’re cold, he’ll go and grab both of you a big blanket to wrap the two of you up in, just to snuggle and watch whatever you want. another giant teddy bear!

- going out on this day, he’d cruise around in the vehicle with you, giving you the reins for the choice of music. no complaints from him, not a peep, he'd just listen to you sing the lyrics and have a smile on his face.

- man is just happy to spend this day with the love of his life. he'd do anything to make you happy.

#dev writes #metallica imagines #metallica fanfic #james hetfield imagine #kirk hammett imagine #lars ulrich imagine #jason newsted imagine #cliff burton imagine #robert trujillo imagine

[undyingskies]

Lets Have a Baby

request: yes;

“Heyy i love your writing and if you are taking requests can you do one with charlie similar to the one you did with owen where him and the reader have a pregnancy scare but unlike owens, Charlie is kinda disappointed by not having a kid so he tells her they should actually try. Thank you so much in advance!”

A/N:  I hope you guys enjoy, this was a lot of fun to write!

Warnings: Talk about pregnancy and a few curse words. 

tagged: @mah-gah-lee , her and her fics are the best! check her blog out!

___________________________

You had been feeling really off for a few weeks now. You couldn’t really seem to put your finger on why. They were normal symptoms, nothing unusual, the only unusual thing was the fact that they were constantly persistent.

Over the last few weeks your normal headaches seemed to turn into migraines that would last for days. No medicine could help them, only warm showers and naps helped. In between migraines it seemed like waves of nausea took up that time.

All while dealing with the off and on migraines and nausea, your body was in constant pain and you were exhausted. You couldn’t tell if the exhaustion was just from the constant strain on your body from the aches or from the running back and forth to the bathroom thinking your stomach would empty itself. Or if the exhaustion was just another part of your new normal.

Today was like any other day you’ve been experiencing recently. You were in your bed, a heating pad placed on your lower back, with all the lights off. The strain from your migraine fading as the minutes pass on, giving you some peace.

You can hear the front door of your shared apartment open, assuming that was Charlie coming back from wherever he ventured off to this morning. In your morning haze of nausea and headache you didn’t really catch what he had said.

“Y/N?” You hear Charlie yell as he makes his way into the apartment.

You turn your head to the side so that your voice wouldn’t be muffled by your pillow.

“In here!” You yell out as loud as you can, not wanting to bring back the pounding in your head.

As you get the words out, you see Charlie peek his head into your bedroom. He walks around the room blindly for a few seconds, since you had all the lights off and your black out curtains pulled together, not letting any light in.

He walks over to the window and pulls the curtains back enough just to let a stream of light in. He comes and sits next to your laying body on your bed. He pushes some of your hair out of your face, smiling down at you.

You return that smile back up at him. “Hi.” You whisper up at him, moving to turn over to sit up and face him.

“Hi! How are you feeling?” He asks you, his concern evident on his face. He had been worried about you these last few weeks, neither of you really knowing what was going on with your health.

“Better today, my migraines gone which is nice! My lower back cramps aren’t too bad anymore, seems like the Tylenol may finally be working!” You say answering his question.

“Well that’s good, I’m glad you’re feeling better!” He says. “What do you think has been causing all this?”

“I don’t really know! These are all things I’ve felt before!” You tell him, racking your brain trying to come up with ideas of why this could be happening. “I was thinking it could be my period, but...”

That’s when it hits you. You haven’t gotten your period yet. Being on birth control kept your period extremely regulated. Every month, you could put money down that you would get your period the second week of the month and on Tuesday morning. It happened like that for the last 2 years.

Not this month though. You hadn’t even realized it, you were so caught up in feeling like crap you hadn’t realized your period week came and passed.

“But what?” Charlie asks you, breaking you out of your now spiraling thoughts.

“I didn’t get my period this month.” You tell him plain and dry. You figured cutting to the point was the best option, especially with Charlie.

“Oh shit.” Is all that came out of Charlie’s mouth at your confession. His facial expression screaming shocked.

“Oh shit is right.” You tell him, laughing slightly at his reaction.

You were nervous and afraid, but something about Charlie and his presence kept you calm. You knew whatever happened, he would be by your side.

The big question here was, were you ready to be a mom? A kid can be a lot and you were still young. You wanted kids but did you want them now? Both yours and Charlie’s careers were just starting to take off.

The big questions overwhelming your mind, you can feel the migraine slowly making its way back.

Charlie’s still sitting next to you, watching you silently. Both of your brains filling with those questions, while you panicked, Charlie got excited.

A little human being, 50% you and 50% him, he couldn’t think of anything better. Whether it be a girl or boy, he just knew it would be the cutest baby.

Before the both of you could spiral into your thoughts anymore, you needed an answer. Both you and Charlie knew that.

“So what are we going to do?” He asks you.

“Well I think the first step is to take a test, get a real answer.” You tell him. Your hands coming up to put pressure on your temples, the new pain not subsiding.

“Good point. How about I go get the test? You go take a shower or something, I can tell your headache is coming back.” He says, his hands moving to grab yours from your face.

He moves to press a kiss to your lips, smiling in the process of it.

“Sound good?” He asks. You nod your head yes.

Before he leaves, he helps you get up out of bed and into the bathroom.

“Alright, I’ll get going. You get in there and relax.” He tells you as he moves to turn the water on.

With another quick kiss, Charlie is on his way out and to the store. Secretly hoping that it would come back positive.

The pain in your lower back starts to get worse, the pounding in your head does as well. You quickly strip and hop into the warm water. Every muscle in your body relaxes as it falls over your body.

Hot showers really are a god send in times like this. You enjoy your time in the shower, allowing the relaxation take over you. If you could keep this feeling forever you would.

But like all things, it has to end and it ends too fast in your opinion. A big cramp makes its way through your stomach, and you knew what that meant.

You hop out quick, shutting the water off. You don’t have time to wrap the towel around you before you go sit on the toilet, you make it right on time before your period finally makes its appearance.

The minute your period starts flowing, your cramps and headache ease and start to disappear. It seems that the pent-up hormones were just making you sick.

The timing of it weird and not normal, it usually doesn’t hit like that, but you guess that nothing about this month has been normal. You’re grateful now though, all your pain leaving.

I guess that was the answer we were looking for you think to yourself. You can hear Charlie open and close the front door. You clean yourself up and start to get dressed in some sweats.

“I’ll be right out Char.” You yell out to him as you finish pulling your shirt over your head.

You make your way out of the bathroom and see a smiling Charlie sitting on the edge of your bed with a white bag next to him.

“I didn’t know what test to get so I bought 3.” He says, opening the bag and showing you the three different tests. You giggle at his antics.

You move to stand in between his legs, wrapping your arms around his neck and looking down at him, smiling.

“I just got my period, so we don’t need the test.” You tell him, running your hands through his hair that has gotten longer thanks to the months of not working.

You watch as him smile falters, his eyes dropping from your eye contact, and his hands stop the circular motion they were making on your hips.

“You okay Char?” You ask him, now concerned due to the expression on his face.

“I don’t know, I guess I was just excited about the thought of a baby.” Your shocked at his confession, not thinking that was what he was thinking this whole time.

You figured that he would have been nervous thinking that a baby wouldn’t be the best idea right now. You thought he was just staying calm so you wouldn’t panic, especially because you were feeling so sick.

A smile did make its way onto your face, you couldn’t help but smile at the fact that Charlie was thinking about the two of you having a baby and being excited about it.

“You were?” You ask him, the two of you had talked about kids but not about having them soon. So as happy as you were about his confession, you were still a little shocked.

“Well yeah.” He admits. “I mean think about it, it would be a mini version of us running around.  I don’t know, I just like the sound of that.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad, does it?” You say with a smile on your face. A matching smile makes its way onto Charlie’s face. He nods his head yes in agreement.

“You don’t think we’re too young though?”  You ask, concerned for a few reasons. “Or the fact that both of our careers are just now taking off? You don’t think a baby would get in the way of that or maybe ruin it?”

Charlie can hear the concern in your voice and see the worry in your eyes. He has no doubt in his mind that none of that would be an issue, but he understands where you’re coming from.

“We may be young, but I don’t think we’re too young. I love you with my whole heart Y/N, a little version of us is all I could ask for or want!” He tells you. “Plus, while both of our careers are important, we have enough to support us and a baby. Plus we would not let a baby get in the way of our careers. We wouldn’t let it, we would figure out a way to get it to blend together in a way where it all works!”

He ends his confession on his feet and jumping around in truly Charlie fashion. His excitement contagious and so evident.

A big smile makes its way onto your face. Charlie does have a way with words and his excitement, gets you excited.

Charlie watches you as your smile gets bigger, he knows those wheels in your head are turning. He steps forward to bring you in close and wrap his arms around your waist.

“So do you wanna do this? Wanna have a baby with me?” He asks you, the biggest smile on his face.

You bite your bottom lip trying to contain the big smile on your face, while nodding your head yes.

“No, no, nooooo,” Charlie says, exaggerating the “o” on his last no, “If we’re going to do this, I am going to need a verbal confirmation.” A smirk now replaces the smile on his face.

“Yes Charlie, let’s have a baby.”

The two largest smiles covering both of your faces.

“Well let’s get started then.” He says with a laugh.

Next thing you know your feet are off the ground and your thrown onto your bed. Laughs escaping both you and Charlie.

There’s no one else you would rather be stuck with in this world than Charlie and the thought of raising a family with him felt like the world’s best gift.

#charlie gillespie #charlie gillespie imagine #charlie x reader #charlie gillespie x oc #charlie gillespie x reader #charliegillespieimagine #charliegillespieimagines #charlie gillespie x y/n #charlie gillespie fluff #charlie gillespie fanfiction #charlie gillespie fic #julie and the phantoms #jatp #julieandthephantomsimagine

[andreasorsss]

How to live your 20’s with no regrets

Do you sometimes feel like you're not living the life you've imagined before? Or the life that you've always wanted to live. In reality, you feel like there's still something missing. You feel like you're not living in the moment anymore.

That's because we're all rushing from everything. Just from the moment that we started going to school. We're all anticipated to graduate and achieve success in the future. We don't realize that we're not living our best lives anymore. We do what they want us to do that we somehow don't notice that it doesn't bring us peace and happiness anymore.

I woke up in the morning with my first cup of coffee, then sat on our couch while listening to the silent sound of the rain, realizing that it's been a long time since I had mornings like this because throughout I feel like I'm always in a rush from everything. We are growing up so fast and having a lot of responsibilities, unlike before. We are getting older and busier every day. Do you still remember when you and your friends went outside to play together for the last time? I guess you don't. Our problems became so big that our dads could no longer say, "I will take care of it." I can still remember the times where we started going to the clubs showing our fake IDs and going to other places lying about being 18 above. Now that we're 20, I still can't imagine how everything happened so fast. And yet, we pull through.

Here are a few things that you can take note of to live your 20's with no regrets.

1. Do things that make you happy, do something for yourself.

You see the beauty in others but not in yourself. You, too, have something to contribute. You are an artist in your way, a work in progress, but never less, never plain—just being yourself, entire. You, too, are deserving of the compliments and positive phrases you've been dishing out to others. You must think that you are exceptional, not in comparison to others, but comparison to yourself. Even when the world doesn't return the favor, always be kind to yourself. You have always had the power to bring real attention to yourself. If you like it, go ahead and do it. If it makes you happy, go ahead and do it. Do it if it makes you smile. Do it if it makes you feel powerful. We'll never be this young again, and we'll never look this good or have this much freedom, so get on that dress, put on that mascara, keep your chin up, and don't wait for anyone. The world has so much to offer for us.

2. Capture moments as you can

Our life is a collection of memories and moments with the best people. All along, we knew we were just having fun, and we didn't realize that we were making memories that would last forever. Take pictures and videos wherever you go, take that jump shot, capture those candid shots. Shoot those memorable nights. Because one day will come, and you will never see those faces again. You're never going to hear those laughs again. Capture moments as you can, and someday you're going to look back and be glad that you did.

3. Enjoy each day. You don’t get another one.

“My mama always said, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.” — Forrest Gump implies that, just like a box of chocolate, life is full of surprises, and you never know what is going to happen next. Life never comes out exactly the way you want it to, so you just have to make the most of what you got. Don’t keep yourself busy on something that you’re not capable of doing. Don’t if you’re not in the mood to start a new project. If you want to delay something until tomorrow, do it. If you don't feel like making something new, stick with the original, the known, the usual. Allow yourself to do nothing today if that is what makes you happy. Keep taking in the joy of emptiness, the greatness of silence, and the pure life in your weak moments. It is not necessary to fill all of your days. Simply being you is enough.

4. Never lose the kid in you

Being an adult may also include catching up on things you missed out on as a child and engaging in all of the activities you enjoyed as a kid. Check out that plushie, eat the ice cream, and watch the cartoon. No one stops you from believing in Santa Claus again or rewatching those Tom and Jerry episodes. Your Inner Child Is Your Best Friend, and Life may be lonely at times. If you keep entertaining yourself as an adult, you will probably end up spending a lot on temporary pleasure. However, do you remember how, as a kid, you got happiness from simple things in life? Jump, run, scream, sing your favorite music, dance, and have a good time! I don't remember you living for anybody else when you were a kid. You undoubtedly knew what you wanted and would never be hesitant to ask for it. To put it more simply, you express yourself and never be scared to experience different things that will help you grow into the person you want to be in the future.

5. Spend more time with your family

As we get older, we don’t realize that we miss out on spending time with our family. We don’t recognize that as we grow older, they are also getting older. Don’t be afraid to show your care and love to your family, especially your parents. We misunderstood our parents often. When mom entered our room without knocking and tried to sit with us, she didn’t mean to invade our privacy or disturb us, and sometimes she was just trying to escape her own thoughts. Because sometimes, seeing their children brings them back to what’s truly important and helps them back on track. Sometimes she just misses your presence and company and to know that she’s still connected with you, and sometimes when she asks what you are smiling at on your phone, she’s not being nosy. She just wants to be part of your life. Every time dad asks, “where are you?” he’s not trying to investigate you or to be strict with you. He just wants to know. We should spend more time with them because one day will come, we won’t have the chance to hear and see them anymore.

6. Appreciate little things and be grateful for them.

Don't forget to appreciate the simple things. Appreciate those who stayed with you on your worst days. Whether the little things that happened during your day. It is sometimes how you looked after a weekend of partying or when a random stranger appreciated you for being nice to them. Thank the guard who helped you in opening the door. It's the simple things that matter. They are the true definition of happiness, which keeps the world going. The little things that we miss out on are the best things about life: the night sky, the sunrise, the blossoms in the spring, the deeper conversations held hands, grooving in the living room, the colors in the fall, the sound of the waves, the music of peace—the feeling of someone's arms around you, and the beat of your happy and fulfilled heart. Be thankful. When someone does something for you, make it a practice to say "thank you." Because you never know what kind of storm they're going through, Send your warmest greetings. Appreciate their efforts. It may appear to be a minor gesture on your part, but it makes their day complete. Never keep your happiness to yourself; share that with everyone you meet.

7. Find your passion

Where do you shine the most, or where do you spend a lot of time, even when it's not perfect? Allow what makes you unique to succeed through. Discover your hidden abilities and understand that being unique is a blessing, not a shame! It’s never too late to discover your talent or your skills. Someday, you may not know that those things were the ones that can make you understand who you are. Your talents can also be your source of income in the future, and you will be thankful for yourself that you at least give yourself a chance to know yourself better. You chose not to give up because you believe in yourself.

8. Learn to understand everyone. We’re not always in the same boat.

Some people are glad of themselves for finally sending their resignation letter, while some are proud of themselves for passing the interview and getting the job. What makes you happy may make others feel upset, and what you consider a dream to pursue may be a nightmare for others. We all have our own versions of happiness and misery, as well as successes and failures. Be fair enough not to judge those celebrating a victory or sobbing over a defeat because their situation differs from yours. I believe that those who remain working on their goals amid difficulties, who continue forward despite the weight they bear in their hearts, should be respected; meanwhile, those who take a break, restart, revise their plans, or decide to stop should also be appreciated. Moving forward, chasing your dreams, and pursuing your goals requires a great deal of strength and courage, but it also takes strength and humility to recognize your limits. Always remember to be kind to everyone when you never know what battles they're fighting simply to get through the day.

9. Don’t stress yourself out. It’s okay to cry.

You will go through some difficult times in your life, regardless of your age. Your heart will split into so many pieces that you will believe you are dying. You'll lose friends you thought you'd have for the rest of your life. People in your surrounding will pass away. Your financial situation will not always be how you wish. You're going to fail one of your classes. You'll go through a lot and feel as if you may not have a purpose on this planet or that you would not want to live any longer. Please take my word for it when I say that's normal. That's what it means to be human. That is what it is to live. Every experience you have in life will teach you something. The key to remembering these lessons is to alter your mindset. Go ahead and cry when you do something you regret or that kills you on the inside. Please, just let it out. Never store those feelings in a bottle.

10. Stay single for a while and wait for the right one.

Stay single for a while because it will teach you how to be alone and be okay with being alone. It will also teach you self-love, which is valuable for any romantic relationship. You'll meet the one who that was made for you one day. He'll invest his time and energy in learning all there is to know about you, including what makes you unhappy, what makes you laugh, as well as what worries you the most. He'll observe how you eat your meal, drink your coffee, and sleep in the middle of a movie. How your eyes light up when you see chocolates or ice cream, and how a scoop makes you laugh. He'll discover how you smell at all times of the day and how you genuinely seem without make-up. When you're confused, you scratch your head automatically, and when you're angry, you roll your eyes. He'll figure out why you're moody when you're tired and annoying when you're hungry. How could you be the girl who laughs at her jokes and cries when gazing at the stars at night? When it's raining, you want to stay in one place and sleep all day. He'll learn how upset you can be at times and how much you cry when your favorite series comes to an end. He'll find out all there is to know about you, including things you don't know about yourself. And even if he does, he'll still admire you even more.

They say that the '20s are the years of immense growth. It's a stage when we can take control of ourselves without feeling guilty about it. We're mature enough to buy our alcohol but still young enough to beg our parents for money whenever we can't afford it. It may be a shame to be broke all the time, have almost no idea what we've been doing with our lives, and have instant noodles for dinner every night, but we'll never be as energized as we are now. Let's enjoy our selfish years until we have to worry about a job and a family to come home, with five children running around the house.

So, what do you have to lose? Give yourself a break. The most common regret about one's twenties is that they didn't enjoy it more. And I'm not talking about the kind of pleasure that makes you want to go out and purchase more fancy clothing or book another plane trip to Europe. I'm talking about being able to take a big breath and drink coffee in the morning, knowing that you've lived your best life.

#life in your 20s #being in your 20s #20s #hello my twenties #roaring twenties #live in the moment #live while we're young #livewithnoregrets