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megalony · 3 years

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Teacher’s pet- Part 21

This is the latest part of my dad! Ben Hardy series, I’m planning one more part of this series and then a follow-on series. I hope you will all like it, thank you for the lovely feedback, comments are always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @ceres27

Series taglist: @im-an-adult-ish @gwilymleeisbae @k-k0129 @haileymorelikestupid @glittrixvibe @youngpastafanmug @ultraviolencezs @kdatthecastle @darlindolan

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Summary: (Y/n) teaches at the school Ben’s boys go to and they soon start a relationship. But they have their ups and downs with the problems Ben faces with his boys and how quickly the relationship progresses.

Enjoy.

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"Carter told me she was pretty, I think he was being modest." A tentative, gentle smile pulled at the edges of Gwilym's lips as he stood just inside the doorway of the neonatal room.

The teacher ruffled his hand through his curls, brushing them from overlapping on his rounded glasses that were perched neatly on his nose. He slowly moved his hands into his jean pockets as he leaned his shoulder against the wall behind him. When he had seen Carter at school, the eldest boy had been talking about seeing his sister and he kept repeating how tiny and slightly weird-looking she was. But he did repeatedly tell Gwilym just how pretty his sister was, although Gwilym knew the little newborn was sweeter and prettier than he had first thought.

"Yeah... she doesn't get that from me." A lopsided smile came onto Ben's features but it was overshadowed by the exhaustion clearly shown on his face. His eyes were red-rimmed with dark circles underneath them and his pupils were bleak and strained.

Constantly switching between home and the hospital everyday and worrying too much to sleep was taking a toll on Ben and it was clear to anyone who looked at him. But he was trying and he could do little else right now.

"So, how's she doing?"

It felt nerve-wrecking for Gwilym to approach Ben, he didn't want to feel like he was intruding on personal space or being around when he wasn't wanted. But when he stood beside Ben, he could feel a wave of calm washing over them both when their eyes were both staring down at the newborn in front of them. The little girl was fast asleep with one of her mitten-clad hands pressed against her button nose like she had fallen asleep in the middle of scratching her nose.

Ben and Gwilym had known each other for years, they had been through a lot together and during the period where Ben had to go to court against Lucy, Gwilym had been there through it all.

But this was different.

Gwilym had never seen Ben in a situation where he was close to losing someone dear to him. He had never witnessed Ben where he was worried about turning up to the hospital and finding his partner had passed away or gotten worse whilst he wasn't there. And when Ben was here with (Y/n), he was still worrying that something was going to happen or go wrong and she was going to get worse. (Y/n) was part of Ben's world now, she meant everything to him just like his boys and now his daughter. Losing any one of them would crush Ben to pieces and he didn't like how close he had come so far to losing (Y/n).

"She's doing great, another week or so and I can take her home." Ben leaned his hip against the incubator as he stared down adoringly at his little girl. He was desperate to get her home and out of this incubator so she could be cuddled and fed and washed and dressed properly. He wanted her to sleep in her cot and be surrounded by her family and just held and nutured rather than being kept cooped up in here like she was still in the womb waiting to be born.

But at the same time, Ben didn't want to take her home if (Y/n) wasn't going to be there with him. He couldn't look after a newborn as well as three young boys on his own. And if Ben did take her home without (Y/n), he would be doing everything without her, (Y/n) wouldn't be there to put their daughter in her cot for the first time. She wouldn't be there to wash her or dress her or get her up during the night. She would miss out on everything and Ben didn't want to do any of this on his own, he'd done that with all his boys, it had to be different with his daughter.

"It... it doesn't feel like a week since she was born, you know? It's like, two hours ago I was holding (Y/n) and she was born. A whole week and (Y/n) hasn't even seen her yet."

It hurt and scared Ben to think that it had been seven days since his daughter had been born. Seven whole days and she and (Y/n) were still cooped up in the hospital, when he had the boys three days was the longest they had been in hospital before coming home. And (Y/n) hadn't even set eyes on her baby yet, nor did they have a name or even a birth certificate for her. It was like time inside the hospital had completely stopped but when Ben left, time raced past him without his consent.

"I know, it barely feels like a year since you were both starting to go out together. Why don't we go visit (Y/n), I haven't seen her yet." Gwilym rested his hand on Ben's shoulder, his eyes lingering on the newborn in front of him before he looked at Ben.

When (Y/n) went into labour, the last time Gwilym had seen her was when he helped her get into the car and whispered that she would be fine. Since then he hadn't visited (Y/n), he still had to go to work and with how ill she had been, he didn't want to intrude. (Y/n) needed her family around her and as much as Gwilym thought of her as his family, he wasn't immediate family and therefore decided it was better to simply get updates from Ben. But it had been a week now and Gwilym wanted to see her and see how she was.

Ben took a deep breath before he nodded in agreement. He had held his daughter this morning and spent the morning here with her, it was about time he went down to see (Y/n).

Moving his hand, Ben slipped his hand into the incubator and gently brushed his finger against his girl's cheek, smiling down at her before he and Gwilym turned and left the room of sleeping newborns.

A comfortable silence enveloped the pair as they walked down the halls to reach (Y/n)'s ward, but a look of fright took over Ben's face when he looked towards (Y/n)'s room. Doctor Mills was stood outside her room with another doctor that Ben didn't recognise. The doctor was never normally here at this time, for the past few days he visited (Y/n) early in the morning and later on in the afternoon and if he didn't visit then it was just a nurse. No one should be here right now.

"Doctor Mills, is everything okay?" Ben's voice was packed with nerves but there was a sense of apprehension in his voice. He didn't know what the doctor was going to say or if anything was wrong with (Y/n) and Ben couldn't take any more bad news or set backs right now.

When they approached the room, Ben leaned to try and look into (Y/n)'s room and catch a glimpse of her but all he could manage to see was two nurses in the room with her. If they were in there with (Y/n) and there were two doctors talking about her outside, something was clearly going on.

"Ben, good I was just about to call you."

"Is she okay?" The panic was clear in Ben's voice but there was anger in his eyes. (Y/n) had been through enough, Ben didn't know how much more she could take.

"I came to check on her this morning and she's improved, we've been running tests and (Y/n)'s lungs have improved enough for her to breathe on her own without the ventilator. We're about to take her off the ventilator now, I was going to call so you could be here when we do that."

Doctor Mills had told Ben yesterday that (Y/n) seemed to be getting stronger but they couldn't take her off the sedatives because she was still weak and would panic about the ventilator. But to know they were going to try and get her to breathe on her own brought tears to Ben's eyes because it meant she was actually recovering. Once she could breathe on her own she should start to eat and drink and get better enough to go home if the sepsis didn't develop any worse.

"You- you mean it? What about the sepsis?"

"Her infection has cleared up and the sepsis is finally starting to receed as well. We have to keep her on antibiotics for another week or so just to be on the safe side and it will take a few weeks for her to fully recover. But if all goes well, she won't have to be in hospital for much longer."

Gwilym reached over and patted Ben's shoulder when he saw the tears forming in his friend's eyes. Ben had been so deaperate to hear news like this but he didn't think it would ever come. (Y/n) still didn't look well and none of the doctors could give Ben an answer as to if she might recover soon or if she was getting worse or not. To finally be told that (Y/n) was starting to get better and her recovery was now going to start, made Ben elated because he could finally stop worrying that he was getting close to losing her.

"Thank you." Ben ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands as he tried to catch his own breath. He couldn't believe it, (Y/n) would be able to talk and be awake and look at him properly in a couple of hours instead of being sedated every single day.

"I took her off the sedatives this morning so she will be awake and responsive when we remove the ventilator but I think you should be in the room to keep her calm so we can remove the tube and check her vitals. There is a chance she won't respond or breathe very well without the ventilator so we have to see how it goes."

"She'll be fine, she's a fighter." Gwilym spoke quietly to Ben, smiling encouragingly to him before he moved to stand by the window. There couldn't be too many people in the room and Gwilym knew he wouldn't be of much use but he didn't want to go home, he had to know how (Y/n) got on. And if he stayed out here then at least he could watch the situation and possibly talk to (Y/n) if everything went okay.

Ben nodded with a fearful smile before he headed into the room when Doctor Mills motioned for him to go first.

The moment Ben entered the room, his eyes locked with (Y/n)'s and it was as if someone had struck a match up in his heart. He could feel his body tensing and growing hotter as his heart started to hammer away in his chest. (Y/n)'s eyes were full of so many emotions, there was surprise, fear, pain but there was such a sparkle in her tired eyes that made Ben smile. He couldn't remember the last time he looked into her eyes.

"Baby, oh baby you're awake." Ben breathed through his words and when he stood beside (Y/n) he could feel her hand immediately reaching out for his. He interlocked their fingers together and brushed his free hand through her hair slowly and methodically to try and calm her down.

He could see the panic in her eyes, it was clear she hadn't been conscious for very long and she was typically going to be scared and confused. She didn't know how long she had been sedated for or what was happening and the fact that there was a tube stuck down her throat was clearly scaring the living daylights out of her. Ben had to calm her down so that they could help her and remove the tube so she could breathe on her own.

"Shh, you're okay, baby everything's gonna be just fine. The doctor's here to help you."

"Okay (Y/n), we understand this is confusing and worrying for you but you are doing very well. This tube is to help you breathe but I can remove it now, it's going to be uncomfortable but please try and stay still, it will only take a few seconds."

Ben kept running his fingers through (Y/n)'s hair before he bent over more so he could be closer to her. He could feel her hand tensing and holding his hand tighter and her eyes were starting to water. Ben hated how panicked and frail she looked because she didn't understand what was going on but she was doing well not to panic or sob or even lash out from confusion and pain.

"Right, let's turn the ventilator off." Doctor Mills looked to the nurse behind him who nodded before turning off the machine which would give them chance to see if (Y/n) was still able to breathe first. Even with the tube down her throat.

The exact moment the oxygen stopped pushing into her lungs, it was as if (Y/n) had been given an electric shock. Her chest jolted before her lungs started to work but it was distressing.

(Y/n) could feel the tube down her throat, every time her muscles constricted or tightened they pressed on the tube and each time it sent a shock through her system. She felt like she was choking and being suffocated even though she could breathe around the tube. All (Y/n) wanted to do was either to pass out or press a magic button and have everything go back to the way that it should be. This wasn't how things were meant to work out.

"(Y/n), I'm going to remove the tube now, just try and hold still for me."

Doctor Mills locked eyes with Ben before he moved to unclip the tube and when he started to remove it Ben moved his hands to gently push (Y/n)'s shoulders and chest back onto the bed. She couldn't try and sit up or bend her neck whilst the tube was being removed even though it was clearly hurting and scaring her. The gagging sounds that (Y/n) made sent Ben's stomach reeling and the moment the tube was free a strangled sound left her lips before she started to cough.

She no longer had the feeling of air being forced into her chest, she was back to breathing on her own and her throat felt dry and scratched.

Doctor Mills moved the small piece of plastic in (Y/n)'s lips that kept the tube stable in her mouth and her jaw clearly hurt the moment she tried to move it and press her lips together.

"Well done, it's going to hurt for a few minutes but just try and breathe normally, I'm going to check your lungs and if all your vitals seem okay we can leave you and Ben alone for a little while." Doctor Mills pressed his stethoscope to (Y/n)'s chest to listen to her lungs as she tried to take deep breaths. "Good, you're lungs are holding up enough that I don't even think you need any extra oxygen. I'll come back and check on you in a little while, if you need anything just press the button."

The moment the doctor and nurses left the room, Ben leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of (Y/n)'s head.

There had been a small part of him that worried that (Y/n)'s lungs would give out or not be strong enough yet after one collapsed and the sepsis had taken a big toll on her. But to see her breathing on her own and actually awake and recovering like this made Ben's heart soar.

"Thank fuck... baby you didn't half scare me back then. I thought I was gonna lose you."

Ben crouched down beside the bed, his hand smoothing over her cheek as his other arm moved to rest over her stomach. He was desperate to cling to her, to pick her up and hug her and hold her to his chest like he wanted to fit her into his heart. But he couldn't do that just yet, she had only just woken up and was still in bad shape.

He didn't bother to wipe away the tears of relief falling from his eyes that moved to watch (Y/n)'s lips when she mumbled something that he couldn't make out.

"What, baby?"

"E-Ella... where's Ella?" (Y/n)'s voice was hoarse and very quiet like she had been crying rather than having not used her voice for almost five days now. But Ben heard and worked out what she was saying and after a brief second, realisation hit him.

She wanted to call their daughter Ella.

"She's in the neonatal unit, oh baby she's beautiful... they let me hold her, she's only four pounds. You can see her soon, and the boys are so fucking desperate to come see you. I love you so much, please don't scare me like that again."

Ben couldn't waste anymore time, he moved before his mind could comprehend what he was doing and he pressed his lips to hers. He could feel that (Y/n)'s lips were slightly chapped like he expected but when her hand moved to cup his cheek he nearly burst out crying. Nothing compared to how nearly losing (Y/n) made him feel, not even the way he felt when Lucy broke his heart and his mind. He needed (Y/n) more than he ever thought he would and that scared him more than anything.

He couldn't let her go, he loved her far too much.

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"Boys, remember what we said?" Ben ran his hand over James' hair, ruffling the strands as his eyes darted between his boys.

Carter was switching between bouncing off the walls with excitement and scratching his hands from anxiety. He was finally able to see (Y/n) after just over a week without her and that made his adrenaline go sky high but at the same time, he knew that she wasn't well and that made him anxious in case she really didn't look well when he saw her.

James was holding Ben's free hand swinging their hands between them as he looked around the halls, having rarely been into a hospital. He just wanted to go and see (Y/n). And Finn was perched on Ben's hip, nervous about being in a hospital but excited because he had missed (Y/n) more than anyone thought he would over this past week. Every day he had asked Ben if she was okay and when he would see her again.

"Yep, mum is still poorly so we can't stay long in case she gets tired and not to be upset if she doesn't look well." Carter's voice was hyper and he held his head up to show and prove that he had been listening and had done well to remember what Ben had said.

"We can give mum a hug but we have to be careful." James added quietly, looking up at Ben when they all stopped in front of the room he guessed was (Y/n)'s.

"Alright, let's go see her." Ben let go of James' hand so he could open the door before both Carter and James nudged him out the way and barged passed so they could get to (Y/n).

"Mum!"

(Y/n) felt her breath hitching in her throat when she saw all four of her boys coming into the room. She moved her arms out but she wasn't quite ready for the impact of Carter and James who both went to one of her sides before launching themselves at her. Admittedly, James was more cautious, he wrapped his arms loosely around her middle and huddled under her arm. He rested his head on her shoulder, gazing up at her with a smile.

Whereas Carter was a bit more heavy handed, wrapping one arm around her neck and the other around her middle before he buried his face into her neck, clinging to her like he thought she was going to disappear.

"Boys! Be careful with your mum." Ben scolded, shaking his head at them with raised brows. He had told them two minutes ago to be careful and then they run in and shake her and attach to her like a leech. (Y/n) was breathing on her own now but her lungs were still weak and she was going to have a long recovery. The boys couldn't be rough with her no matter how much they had missed her.

"We missed you."

(Y/n) could feel tears welling up in her eyes when James spoke, looking up at her like she was the only thing in the world worth looking at; he definitely took after Ben. She smoothed down his hair before pressing a kiss to his temple. Even though she had been mostly sedated during the last few days, it had still felt weird when she woke not to have the boys surrounding her.

"When are you coming home? It's not right without you." Carter pulled back enough so that he could climb up onto the bed and sit as close to (Y/n)'s side as he could. Grabbing her arm and making sure it was still wrapped around his side so he could still be close to her. Even though they had just moved house Carter was starting to think of it as his home but he couldn't fully do that without (Y/n) there. Nowhere was going to be right if she wasn't there with them and he wanted her back home now.

"I should be able to come home in a few days, honey. It won't be much longer I promise." (Y/n) looked between Carter and Ben who sat down on the end of the bed with Finn on his lap.

(Y/n) didn't feel great, yesterday it had taken a few hours for her to fully wake up and feel able to talk and breathe normally. And the painkillers and antibiotics were making her drowsy, doctor Mills said she would be moving very slow, her chest was going to hurt and her breathing would be uneven for a while. And she had to get back into eating properly since she had been on nutrients and drips for a week.

When they knew for sure that her sepsis had gone and she had no other immediate issues she would be able to recover at home with her family which is what they all wanted.

"Is your tummy better now?" Finn slowly crawled from Ben's lap and moved up near James so he could be closer to (Y/n). He reached out and slowly patted her stomach and (Y/n) could see the intrigue in his eyes. The last time Finn had seen her he remembered her stomach being very round, now it was almost back to how it used to look.

The easiest way for Ben to explain it to Finn was to say that the baby was born but (Y/n) wasn't very well, she had a poorly stomach and a bad chest and Finn seemed to understand that.

"A lot better now, sweetheart, have you seen your sister yet?"

"Baby sister is very pretty, daddy said she looks like you."

(Y/n) drifted her eyes from Finn up to Ben as a smile formed on her lips. She knew Ben had held Ella the other day and this morning since (Y/n) was feeling better she had managed to see and hold Ella for the first time. The picture Ben had taken of his girls was one that he was definitely going to get printed because so far, it was the only good memory of this event.

The first week of Ella's life had been traumatic and distressing for them all, now it could start to be wonderful like it should be.

#ben hardy #ben x reader #ben hardy imagine #dad! ben #imagine #BoRhap #gwilym lee #gwilym imagine #teachers pet #pregnancy

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herstarburststories · 3 years

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the first step is always the hardest.

Pairing: au!dean winchester x reader

Summary: Huntercorp!Dean asks you out on a date.

A/N: I'm happy with how this one turned out. It's very different from my usual to do, but so cute! au!dean lives in my and in brazil right now sjhsjs. Anyway, this is my part for @firefly-in-darkness 2k challenge! Congrats again, honey. My prompt was “I’m just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe.” And this was requested by @anaelsbrunette.

Warnings: mutual pining and adorableness.

Some things aren't supposed to be hard. In Dean Winchester's opinion, this is one of them. What he's about to do isn't quite professional or preferred by his dad -- although, not exactly against HunterCorp's strict code of conduct. Alright, he might have to report to HR about the relationship due the anti-harassment policy if you two ever get that far, but that's another point. The fact right now is, it shouldn't be this hard to blurt out a simple 'would you like to go out with me?' towards the woman he had been pining for weeks.

Dean asked girls out before, and three out five said yes. Usually, his goofy way of flirting is enough to make them take the lead. When it doesn't happen, though, the Winchester laces his hang out proposal with wiggling brows and a suggestive smirk. They'd laugh and a date was settled.

He isn't shy. Dean gets embarrassed easily and yes, he is a little too spoiled to have a larger vision of the world, but he can get his way with the women he's interested in. Therefore, it shouldn't be that difficult, right? In theory, safely hiding in the back of his head, it isn't. The hunter remains passing some vague steps on his mind: 1.) Go to you. 2.) Try not to get lost at the sight of you. 3.) Don't try his Spanish to impress you because it's not going to work. 4.) Smile in a boyish way, just being cool. 5.) Ask you out. Samuel said it was a good plan. He just needs to execute it, get through his words and make them into actions.

So why is it so excruciatingly hard?

You, a HunterCorp's rookie, recently graduated in their new worldwide program to recruit willing hunters that weren't born in the life. You are smart, bilingual, pretty, strategic, spontaneous, and strong. You laugh loud as if joy should be going inside everyone's ear, but you also fight to kill with both words and trained combat skills. You, one of the best hunters of HunterCorp, which is the only thing Dean would ever try to say he was compared to you. You, Y/N Y/L/N, the girl with fancy red boots and tight jeans, is everything Dean never dreamed of and way out of his league.

You are a ferocious scream in civility that shakes his ground and makes him want to know how human savagery felt like after years being spoiled. You tease the green eyed hunter, never leading to evilness, and always with a beam that makes him feel lucky to be the fool to your kingdom. Dean feels comfortable with you, like taking his expensive socks off at home and chuckling with his mouth full, or even attempting a new food that makes his tongue experience marvelous flavors never felt before.

The eldest Winchester brother is almost dancing around his own feet for five minutes and counting. Gulping nervously every time he hears the noise of a door opening as he shuts his eyes, picturing the perfect ending of 'asking Y/N on a date' plan.

Okay, fine. Maybe he does have a reason for envisioning the possible difficulties of this situation. How could he not? Dean wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable by asking you out again if you said no today. It's a now or never situation. How can he not be sweating in his levis?

“Duncan?” you ask, your voice exhaling a name that isn't his, but it catches Dean's attention nonetheless. He must have been listening what you were saying before even turning around to catch a glimpse of you. “Duncan!”

You poke his arm, causing him to move quickly to face you. Despite getting his name wrong, you look gorgeous: your hair was a mess like usual after spending too long in your office, sunglasses on the top of your head, and a joyful grin on your painted lips.

He straightens his posture to regain some confidence. “Dean. Dean Winchester.”

Your eyebrows knit together in a weight of confusion. "Who are you?"

This is it, his mind whispers. Rule number four, be cool. Say that thing that guy says in the movie which Sammy made you watch! Dean licks his lips, leaning against the counter. He shrugs, attempting to get in a persona that would only be him in another universe. “I’m just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe. You know, Dean Winchester.”

His shoulders drop as you let out a laugh, and suddenly the perfect threat in his fantasy became a funny joke. He doesn't even waste time being too embarrassed, though: he loves that sound.

“I'm kidding, Dean Winchester. I know who you are. You know, you're kind of the owner of this building?” you say humorously, pointing around the establishment.

Dean's brows arch quickly as he replies: “Technically, it's my father.”

“Who cares about the technical, right?” Of course you would say that with your own sequin smile and a playful wink. Who gives you the right to make his heart go wild? God, he sounds like a chick-flick. “Anyway, do you need something? I noticed you standing at my door.”

“Yes.” His stupendous moment. The stage is his and he better make it worth it. Dean's going to ask you out now, and then, he sees your features changing into curiosity. You're so adorable with your soft frown and head cocked, hair cascading down like one of the surrealistic paintings decorating his office walls. It reminds the Winchester of the way their brilliant colors and space tangle together to make something so gorgeous he couldn’t bear to give it another name but art. God, what if you say no? What if you say yes? What if everything is weird after that? “No. I mean, yes. I...”

“Are you okay?” You place a hand on his bicep. One touch, a blaze starting to burn in the best ways. His heart gives out, beating too crazily to be properly felt -- that doesn't help one bit.

“Yeah, this muchacho is okay.” Dean points at himself with two thumbs. Here goes all the rules in less than three minutes of chatting. He sighs to himself, offering you a pageant smile. “Just forget about it. I was going to ask for a report on your last hunt, but you can send it to my email.”

“Sure thing. I'll send you them after I come back from lunch. McDonald's waits for me.” The Winchester doesn't know if his mind is playing tricks on him, but he can swear he saw disappointment on your face. It could've been that tell, your hair brushing your lips like he craves to, or even how you blink so adorably under the dim light that makes a sudden glimmer of newfound courage hit him. Granted, it's with a trembling voice, but still.

“Maybe I could go have lunch with you?” Dean can practically hear his brother saying, be assertive, ask her out. He rushes to correct himself. “You. You could grab lunch with me. If you want. We could go have lunch together.”

“You like McDonald's?” You bit your bottom lip, arms crossed despite your subtle chortle.

“Of course.” Dean scoffs, gaining a glare of yours for a few seconds before he sighs with a shrug, a flush of pink coloring his cheeks. “No. Processed food isn't a thing in my house. Dad likes to spoil us with homemade meals and scotch.”

“Well, I'm sure John doesn't know how to cook quesadillas. I know the perfect place we can go.” You grab his wrist, and despite all empirical evidence to the contrary of such strong euphoria stemming from a simple touch, he goes against every scientific rule and gets to heaven on earth. “And Dean?”

His voice is lighter, happier by that mere gentle gesture which causes Dean's cheeks to dimple with branded delight as he answers: “Yes?”

You don't bother pulling your hand away. Instead, you intertwined your fingers, smiling like a baby when you notice his sweaty palm. At least you aren't the only nervous here. “Our second date will be at McDonald's.”

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

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"Doppelganger" *Part 23*

WHOO, y'all. I don't know what it is about this story but I am just...rolling it all out with the tragic backstory. No angst, I promise-- It ends happy chill out. But damn. Maybe I'm working out my own issues in here...lulz.

This gif will make so much sense you have no idea.

PART 22

Part 24

Tag List

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------

“....And how did that make you feel?”

You tried not to laugh out loud as the question left Dr. Crestview’s mouth. Did she really just ask you that?

“...I mean it makes me ‘feel’ bad,” You rolled your eyes with a laugh while looking out the window. When you turned back to the doctor she was not laughing, and she was writing something down.

“...That was a joke,” You clarified.

“Oh yes, I get it,” She nodded as she continued writing.

“Do you?” You asked her frankly. The question caused her to stop writing and look at you.

“Mrs. Barba--”

“Ms. YLN,” You corrected. “I’m not married yet,”

“...Hmm, interesting,” She wrote something down. Seriously? She even had an insight on what-- technicalities?

“I’m sorry, was that some sort of test?” You asked sarcastically.

“Actually, it was,” She said to your surprise.

“Excuse me?” You looked at her, baffled.

“You know when most women get engaged, they start imagining their last names as their husbands. You know such as changing their signature, gathering documents, and the like,”

“...Are you serious?” You laughed again. “This is 2021 lady, half the women I know didn’t even take their husband’s last name at all,”

“And is that what you’re going to do?” She asked. “Keep your last name?”

“...If I say yes are you going to psychoanalyze that too?” You crossed your arms.

“In my experience Ms. Y/L/N, women who don’t want to change their last names tend to do so because they want to keep their independence, their…’identity’. They think taking a man’s last name is ‘giving up’ something. Giving up their identity,” She explained.

“...And?” You gestured with your hand as if waiting for her to continue.

“And in my educated opinion, it also signifies a woman going into a marriage with one foot out of the door already,” She simply stated.

“Wow,” You shook your head with a sarcastic laugh. “Did I come here to resolve my trauma, or for marriage advice?”

“I think they’re one and the same, Ms. Y/L/N,” She stayed completely calm and emotionless.

“Are they?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Given what you’ve told me in our last few sessions, you’ve given off a tone that you don’t think you deserve good things. Maybe you’re keeping on foot out of your relationship so that when it falls apart, you’ll be ready,”

“Wow....wow,” You started to stand up and storm out of the office, but she stopped you with a question.

“I’m sorry if I offended you with my observation Y/N, but be honest. Am I wrong?”

You thought about all the talks you had with Rafael about ‘not being good enough’ for him, or ‘stealing his love’. And on the one hand you felt that you were ‘connected’, you felt safe and secure. After everything you’d been through, it was almost impossible not to be, right? Right?

“....And what is your magic solution to this feeling, doctor?” You crossed your arms.

“You need to forgive yourself,”

“...Jesus Christ,” You rolled your eyes with another laugh as you paced the room. “Really? That’s your solution? Telling me something I already know?”

“No, my solution is this: You need to apologize to your parents,”

“EXCUSE ME?” You practically screamed.

“You blame yourself for their death, correct? You think that because of their desire to make you happy they risked their lives driving into the city and therefore got into their accident,” She looked over her notes from past sessions with you.

“...Right,” You looked down at the floor.

“And I don’t think that you have ever forgiven yourself for that. And in not doing so, you haven’t forgiven yourself for anything you’ve done since then. All these things you say you’ve ‘done’ to Mr. Barba that you should be ‘punished’ for-- he doesn’t see it that way. Other people don’t see it that way. Your parents' accident wasn’t your own doing, getting kidnapped wasn’t your fault. I think that you need to find closure with your parent’s death before you can even begin to ‘forgive’ yourself for whatever transpired between you and Nevada Ramirez,”

“....So you want me to apologize to my parents? How are they going to ‘forgive’ me?” You asked her.

“I think you’ll find Ms. Y/L/N that just the act of apologizing will bring about its own form of forgiveness,” She smiled.

“.....Right…” You tried not to sound condescending, but for a shrink she sure sounded crazy.

“Or don’t listen to me, I can’t force you to do anything. But that is my advice,” She shrugged.

“Noted. Thank you, doctor,” You nodded and walked out the door.

----

You walked out into the streets of the city from your doctor’s office and thinking about just how or when you’d have a chance to go to your hometown where your parents were, when you were stopped by a young girl on the street.

“Oh my god...you’re Y/N!” She gasped.

“...Yes?” You stared at her blankly.

“You’re that girl who killed Nevada Ramirez!” She squealed, causing a few people to stare and take pictures of you as they walked past.

“Oh good lord…” You muttered nervously. “Yeah well um--”

“Can I get a selfie with you?”

“Um--” You looked around, not sure of what to do. You wanted to run down the street screaming, but you thought better of it. You turned back to her with the fakest smile you could form.

“Sure!” You threw an arm around her and smiled as big as you could as she snapped a selfie with her phone.

“Thanks!” She beamed at you. “ And by the way, your fiancé is REALLY sexy,”

“Oh girl I know,” You faked a laugh and a toss of your hair as she walked away with a laugh.

It really creeped you out that girls were ‘fangirling’ over your fiancé. As if you weren’t worried about keeping a hold of him all on your own. Also how did she even know what he looked like?

The article.

You grabbed your phone and did something you told yourself you’d never do: You googled yourself.

The first thing that popped up was an article on the NYTimes.com front page:

“Fairy Tale Romance Or Horror Movie?”

...What the fuck?

The article contained your video as the main focus. Then under it the article basically dictated the video, with Tasha’s opinions thrown in here and there. Then most of the photos from the photoshoot of you and Rafael were at the bottom of the page. They were gorgeous, you had to admit. Granted you were both airbrushed to hell, but Rafael in a suit drove you nuts. Even if it was just on a screen. You dialed his number as you continued walking down the street.

“....Hola, mi amor. How is my pinguino feeling?”

“Well she’s currently feeling like she’s got the sexiest man in New York City,” You grinned.

“Oh really? And why’s that?” He asked you curiously.

“Check out the picture I’m texting you,” You grinned as you texted him one of the photos from the spread.

“Oh Christ…” You heard him mutter through the phone, causing you to giggle.

“Oh yes, you even have your own fangirls now,” You rolled your eyes with a smile.

“No I do NOT,” He argued in disbelief.

“Yeah I’d be careful leaving your office there counselor, a group of tweens might be waiting outside,”

“Oh my god...they’re breaching the doors!” He acted terrified, making you laugh harder.

“Oh I think I see one,” You whispered as if you were sneaking up on someone. “She’s holding a ‘Barba 4Eva’ poster board,”

“You better be kidding,” He warned.

“No, in fact I think she’s right outside your door,” You bit your tongue with a smile.

“Oh well I’d better call security then,” He chuckled as he sauntered over to his office door and swung it open.

“Oh my Gooodddddddd it’s Rafael Barba!!! The sexiest ADA in New York City!!” You giggled wildly, jumping into his arms like a crazed fan.

“I should definitely look into some armed guards at my door,” He laughed as he pulled you into his arms and kissed you.

“Oh most definitely, wouldn’t want to let the crazies in,” You nodded as you kissed him again.

“Well I think it’s too late for that…” He teased you while tousling your hair.

“Shut up,” You playfully hit his hands away.

“Speaking of crazy, how was therapy today mi amor?” He asked cheekily.

Wowwwww, sexy AND sensitive, how did I get so lucky?” You rolled your eyes. “Actually, she gave me homework,”

“Did she?” He inquired.

“Yes,” You suddenly got very serious. “She um, she told me I need to go see my parents,”

“...Your parents?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, something about needing to ‘apologize’ to them or some weird shrink thing like that,”

“....Do you think it will help?”

“I mean...” You sighed and looked out the window. “I don’t know. But I’d like to try,”

“Bueno,” He nodded walking closer to you and kissing the top of your head. “So are you going to go now or--?”

“Well I was kind of hoping you’d come with me,” You bit your lip. You didn’t know if asking him to come along on your shrink homework assignment was allowed, but you knew you couldn’t do this alone. Maybe that was the point.

“Really?”

“I mean, I met your family,” You half laughed, trying to make light.

“Right,” He nodded his head with a chuckle. “Well then, let’s go,”

“...Now?”

“Why not?” He started to walk towards the door.

“Don’t you have a job?” You pointed to his desk.

“Oh they just like to pay me to sit in here so nobody robs the place,” He joked as he grabbed his coat. “I have nothing going on today baby, they won’t miss me.”

“Okay then,” You shrugged uneasily. “Guess we’re going to Jersey,”

----------------

After a train ride and a taxi later, you arrived in your small town of Shallow Meadow.

“Christ Almighty, I knew Jersey was in the dark ages, but not even having Uber??” Rafael grumbled. He hadn’t been in the back of a dirty cab in such a long time, and now he remembered why.

“Alright Daddy Warbucks, chill,” You laughed as you started walking with him through town.

It was a quaint little town; one stop light, one grocery store, two bars, something out of an old movie really You know the movies where the car breaks down in the tiny shitty town and all the townspeople are flesh eating zombies or something. The people of Shallow Meadow were pretty much like that. Well, to you anyway.

“So why didn’t we just have the Mayberry Express drop us at the cemetery?”

“...Because we don’t have roads you can drive on up there,” You answered with a nervous smile.

“...Right,” He shook his head as he noticed people coming out of shops to stare at the two of you. “...Do I have some kind of weird sign on my back that says NEW YORKER or what?”

“No, but that thousand dollar suit screams “moneybags” out here,” You smirked. “Besides, they’re not staring at you they’re staring at me,”

“...What? How do you know that?”

As if it was answering his question, a girl with bright red hair dressed in farm clothing and holding a baby on her hip came sauntering up to the two of you.

“Well lookie here,” She smirked. “Miss Prissy Pants brought back herself a Prissy Papa,”

“Excuse you?” Rafael was taken aback by such rudeness by such a poorly dressed person.

“Marla back off,” You scowled at her. “Just because you’re upset I found treasure and you’re stuck with trash--”

“OH, is that what we are now? Trash?” Marla spat. “You have a lot of nerve coming back here and saying that, murderer,”

“WHOA,” Rafael stepped in front of you. “I’m sorry, what-- what did you just call her?”

“Did she not tell you the story? Oh no wait I bet she did, her version. The version where she’s the victim and we’re all just the villains. Isn’t that right, Prissy?” She glared at you.

“...I never said you were--” You tried defending yourself.

“Really?” She scoffed. “Then why did you not even bother to show up to your folks’ funeral? Their ONLY daughter, the ones they DIED for. Couldn’t even be bothered to leave her high rise in the city to pay respects to the parents she KILLED,”

“It wasn’t like that and you KNOW it, Marla! And why was I going to come back? The only two people left in this town that tolerated me were gone--” You got up in her face.

“AND WHY IS THAT, Y/N?” She got back in yours, her baby almost falling out of her arms.

“Alright lady I don’t know who you are, but you’re going to back the hell off my fiancée--”

“Oh good God, your fiancé?” Marla laughed. “You would find yourself a sugar daddy, since you killed yours,”

“Alright you know what we’re leaving--” You grabbed Rafael’s hand and stomped away towards a huge hill that had a sign reading “CEMETERY” at the top.

“I hope you’re heading up there to beg their forgiveness Y/N, ‘cuz you sure as hell ain’t getting any down here!” Marla yelled angrily after you.

--------------

“...Well I think we just figured out where your forgiveness issues came from,” Rafael tried making light of the situation.

“Ya think?” You nodded.

“This whole time,” Rafael shook his head. “This whole time I thought you just had it in your mind that you were responsible for their death. But-- but you had an entire town telling you that,”

“...Yeah,” You shrugged.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything, baby?” Rafael took your hand as the hill got steeper.

“Because I thought they were right, Rafael!” You said in a ‘duh’ tone. “Why would I tell you that an entire town thought that I was a murderer? That’s not really a selling point on a partner,”

“...You thought they were right?”

“...Well, yeah,” You nodded softly with a small smile.

“And now…?”

Before you could answer, you reached the entrance of the cemetery. Luckily it wasn’t that big; you were ashamed to admit you didn’t even know where they were buried. But you found them in a small corner under a shade tree. You walked up to their mutual headstone:

“Y/M/N AND Y/D/N: Beloved Husband And Wife, Mayor and First Lady.”

“...Mayor?” Rafael looked at you in surprise.

“Yeah, well--” You shrugged. “You see why they were so beloved, and I was the hellish daughter that killed them?”

“Y/N…” Rafael put a hand on your shoulder.

“I was supposed to want to ‘take over the city’, like I would ever want to be in charge of anything in this stupid backwards hick ass town,” You scoffed angrily, tears stinging your eyes.

“...But didn’t you say that your parents wanted you to go to Juliard? Pursue your dreams?” Rafael asked in confusion.

“They did! My grandparents-- they had a different view,” You shook your head. “The...the hierarchy here it’s-- well it’s not really a democracy,”

“...How so…?” Rafael raised an eyebrow.

“Because everyone just loved and accepted my family as, I don’t know, the ‘royal’ family?” You felt so stupid comparing your family to the Royal Family, but you didn’t know how else to explain it.

“The Mayor and First Lady titles were just...passed down, in my family. And not because they were dictators or something,” You quickly added the last part, you didn’t want Rafael to think any less of your family than he probably already did.

“People here are just...simple,” You sighed. “They accept things the way they are, they hate change. So it was just assumed that my family would always be... "the family’,”

“But you didn’t want that,” Rafael said again.

“Of course I didn’t want that!” You scoffed. “I didn’t want to just get a high school degree and then marry some ‘Cletus’ redneck man from here and have ‘heirs’ just to keep the family going!”

“But your parents understood that,” Rafael reiterated.

“It didn’t matter what my parents did or didn’t understand. My grandfather had more clout with the townspeople here,” You rolled your eyes. “My dad was the ‘mayor’, but his dad controlled everything. His father had been the mayor for over thirty years before he passed it onto my dad, who didn’t really want it either” You walked up to the headstone and ran your fingers over your father’s name.

“....So when he tried to ‘save’ me from that life, my grandpa wouldn’t hear it. He blamed me for...for manipulating them into giving me anything I wanted, like I was a spoiled little child. He blamed me for them giving me their life savings to go to Julliard instead of putting it back into the town treasury. Then he blamed me when they got killed, and he just reinstated himself as mayor! Which, I haven’t checked but I’ll be damned if he isn’t still rattling around his old ass bones in our house! He’ll just haunt this place forever!” You threw your hands up and looked down angrily at the town down below.

“Carino…” Rafael came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. You took his hands in yours and kissed them before turning to face him. You looked into his sparkling green understanding eyes for a moment, before directing your attention back at the headstone.

“....This is Rafael Barba, mama and daddy,” You pulled him gently forward. “We’re getting married soon,”

“...Nice to meet you folks,” Rafael said awkwardly.

“...Raffi they’re dead,” You smiled jokingly.

“Right, right,” He shook his head with a small laugh.

“...He’s a very good man, daddy. I know you always wanted that. And he’s very handsome, so you’ll have beautiful grandchildren mama, just like you wanted,” You smiled while Rafael softly chuckled.

“...I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come,” You finally said with tears rolling down your cheeks. “I should have been here sooner,”

“But you’re here now,” Rafael softly rubbed your back.

“Yeah…” You nodded softly. This was the hard part.

“...I’m---I’m sorry, that I made you feel like horrible parents that night,” You tried not to cry, but the memories of that night flooded your memory the more you spoke.

“I’m sorry that you thought you needed to come see me, that you weren’t good parents if you didn’t,” Your lip trembled, you fell to your knees.

“...I’m sorry the last words you heard from me were ‘I hate you’,” You finally broke down sobbing.

“Y/N…” Rafael knelt down next to you and held you in his arms as you cried.

“Do you get now why...why I don’t think I deserve you? Why don't I think I deserve anything? Why I think I have to take everything? Fake everything? Because I am such a terrible person my own parents died thinking I hated them because I was that horrible to them!”

“They didn’t think you hated them, carino,” Rafael rocked you back and forth. “They knew you loved them, I know they did,”

“You know you’re probably right, Rafael. But it--I needed them to hear it,” You nodded at the gravestone.

“And?”

“...And I feel a lot better,” You smiled as Rafael wiped tears from your face.

“Really?”

“Yeah…Really,” You chuckled. “I guess that therapist really knows what she’s doing,”

“She should for the amount of money I pay her,” Rafael shook his head with a laugh as he helped you stand up.

“...Thank you for doing this with me, amor,” You sniffled, pressing your forehead against his.

“Of course, penguino,” He kissed you softly. “And, for what it’s worth--” He added as you two walked back down the hill towards town.

“I think that if your parents were alive, they would be proud of you,”

“Oh, I know my mother would take one look at you and be DAMN proud,” You both laughed at that.

“And I also think they would be appalled to see how their townspeople treat their daughter,” He glared at the town.

“Yeah well,” You shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Not anymore,”

“I’m glad to hear it,” He took your hands as the sun started to go down in your sleepy little town. “Now can we please get back to the city before I catch something out here?”

“Yes,” You giggled, staring at him lovingly.

“Let’s go home,”

#rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba #rafael barba fanfiction #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction smut #doppelganger

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thornedrose44 · 4 years

Text

What Would It Take?

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Their friendship was stronger than it had ever been but it was also so, so, so different to what it once was for Kara.

They were open and honest about their day, their fears, their hopes… everything. And with all that came vulnerability, laying yourself bare and exposed.

For Lena, things were probably no different to the last time, she had always been open, had never hidden away parts of herself from Kara Danvers, had been honest about her relationship with Lex and all the positives and negatives that came with that.

But for Kara this was an entirely new experience.

Previously, Kara had kept her walls up and had hidden her defences behind lies and subterfuge. She would empathise with Lena but never reveal shared experiences, would keep her loss and pain close to the chest, would allude but never directly explain. Now, Kara was Kara Zor-El with Lena. There were no shadows to hide in, nor half-formed lies and rushed excuses to duck behind. She was no longer keeping a part of herself hidden away and protected.

When they re-started their friendship it came with the understanding that there would be no more lies or secrets between them. That for their friendship to work it had to be built on honesty at its most fundamental level.

With that agreement in place, over the course of their first few interactions, Kara came to a realisation that broke her.

It was the realisation that this (honesty and openness) was easier for Lena to do than it was for Kara. It was the realisation that Kara didn’t know how to have a relationship without some kind of secret to hide behind; even with Alex there were no-go topics and parts of themselves neither wanted to share. It was the realisation that Lena had time and time again, prior to the reveal, put herself out there thinking Kara was stood by her side, equally exposed and vulnerable.

With that realisation came a whole swathe of emotions.

Guilt.

Shame.

Pain.

Confusion.

But there also came a commitment.

A commitment to meet Lena halfway. To let herself be truly vulnerable with another person. Not just for Lena but for herself.

With that commitment came a strong friendship. A real one. More real than any Kara had ever had before.

Kara no longer filtered her thoughts to hide parts of herself. She spoke her mind and that… that was where the trouble really started.

For a number of reasons.

“Rao, you look beautiful.”

“Your mind is incredible.”

“You’re so graceful and elegant.”

“Lena, you’re just… fantastic, have I told you that recently?”

“I adore your eyes.”

All of those were said in a single day. Scratch that, a two hour period. Games Night to be exact.

Kara hadn’t even known she was doing it, let alone that frequently, until Nia had jumped into the air shouting “Bingo” after Kara had complimented Lena’s hair. Turns out the Superfriends (Kara was thinking of retracting that title) had started a ‘Compliment Bingo’ that they had been playing in secret for the last three months to capitalise on Kara’s tendency to sing Lena’s praises (literally singing Lena’s praises was on Alex and Brainy’s bingo charts and had won them the game at least twice). Nia and Alex had confessed all of this to Kara rather sheepishly after Lena had been pulled back to L-Corp to handle a business crisis following Nia’s ‘bingo’ exclamation.

Bingo-gate probably should have put an end to the compliments but by that point Kara had become somewhat addicted to the pink blush that would dust Lena’s lovely cheeks whenever Kara blurted out a compliment without thinking (having put her filter aside at the restart of their friendship).

See, the thing is… the big realisation at the restart of their friendship wasn’t just about Kara’s sudden self reflection nor her guilt for the earlier handling of her friendship with Lena. They were big parts, huge even, but they weren’t everything. And they weren’t the part that was plaguing Kara now, six months later.

The big realisation, the actual one that had come with having Lena in her life in a full and complete way after being deprived for so long, after thinking that she might never have her back again, never hold her hand, never hug her was…

Love.

Kara loved her.

The big kind of love.

The love Alex had been telling her about over the course of countless sister nights when it came to Maggie and now to Kelly.

The kind of love that meant every time you looked at them you saw something that was just so perfect and wonderful that you can barely keep the words of adoration back (not that Kara even tried to anymore). The kind of love that meant you wanted them safe and cared for.

And despite six months of carefully reconstructed friendship. Six months of coming to grips with the big realisation. Six months of being vulnerable with Lena. Six months of her eyes being open to a new reality where she was in love with her best friend.

Six life-changing months and it never even crossed her mind that Lena could feel the same way about her.

That was until today...

Today, Kara was going food shopping and, since she was also getting snacks for games night later that evening, Lena had offered to come along and help.

It was something that had become standard between them now. Keeping each other company for random chores and daily life excursions. Kara accompanied Lena to the gym to provide the CEO with light conversation and motivation despite not receiving any tangible benefit from the activity (though Kara found the sight of Lena, with a light sheen of sweat, stretching after a workout was a reward beyond anything she could have imagined). Lena, meanwhile, helped Kara with her taxes and happily kept Kara company when she had to sort out her laundry.

Kara had never had a friendship like this before. All of her other friendships (not including Alex) had required that there was some form of entertainment to go alongside every interaction. With Lena, there was no longer that pressure there. Lena would happily work away on her laptop whilst Kara edited her recent article without complaint, in fact, the raven-haired woman seemed to likewise appreciate how at ease they both felt when silent.

Therefore, when Lena offered to come food-shopping with her, Kara didn’t think twice about saying yes.

Kara worried her bottom lip as she looked between the two loaves of bread. One was freshly baked and still slightly warm to the touch. The other was store-branded, squashed on one side and far less appetising but it was a dollar cheaper. Kara let out a regretful sigh, as she put back the warm new loaf and grabbed two of the cheaper variety. Kara headed back to the trolley, tossing in her latest picks before dropping her gaze to scrutinise her scribbled list of items.

“Why didn’t you buy the other one?” Lena asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

“Hmm…” Kara hummed, glancing over at the raven haired woman who had an unreadable expression on her face.

“The other loaf of bread.”

“This one’s cheaper.” Kara replied gesturing to the squashed loaves in the trolley.

“Why not get both?” Lena prompted.

“I don’t need both.”

“You may not need that particular loaf but you definitely need more than two.” Lena asserted, moving forward to lean against the side of Kara’s trolley, bringing her into Kara’s space.

Kara barely held back the ‘Rao, your eyes are the purest green’ that flitted through her mind as she struggled to stay focused on the rather bizarre conversation she was having right now. “I only ever buy two.” Kara pointed out.

“Yes but you need more.” Lena insisted, her gaze narrowing.

“I do?” Kara said dumbly, uncertain where Lena’s intensity was coming from.

“Yes!” Lena declared, “With the number of calories you burn through due to your ‘extra-curricular’ activities, you require a far more substantive intake that what you are currently acquiring for yourself.”

“Huh?” Kara blinked, she had definitely been listening but her attention had been only half on what Lena was saying; the other half had been on the way Lena’s long, delicate fingers twisted around the wired bars of the trolley so elegantly.

“Kara…” Lena sighed, her green eyes going soft and melancholic in that particular way that always made Kara’s heart flutter and twist in her chest as if it wanted to reach out itself to soothe the other woman. “The amount of food you have in your trolley and how much you intend to buy are nowhere near enough to cover your daily requirements. If my calculations are correct, you need to be buying out the entire store every other week.”

Kara’s face reddened with embarrassment at the far too accurate assessment causing her to rub the back of her neck nervously.

It was the fact that they had promised to be honest with one another in tandem with the destruction of Kara’s filter when it came to Lena, that resulted in the following words coming out of the blonde’s mouth so easily, “Shockingly enough, not everyone can buy an entire store.”

Kara hadn’t said it to be cruel or to disparage Lena’s own wealthy status. It wasn’t about that.

It was simply an honest statement.

One which revealed far more about Kara’s financial woes than she had ever let anyone find out. Not even Alex knew how Kara struggled to afford the food costs that came with being Supergirl. Alex had never joined the dots that Kara’s increased power usage would require an increased calorie count.

One which Kara frequently struggled to afford.

Lena, however, had already made the connection if the unsurprised look on her face at Kara’s response was anything to go by.

“What would it take for you to let me pay for it?” Lena questioned cutting right to the chase.

Kara was suddenly struck with the clarity that this was why Lena had requested to come with her to the supermarket in the first place.

“No, Lena, you can’t.” Kara rejected without even bothering to consider it as an option.

“Why not?” Lena tilted her head to the side expectantly, obviously wanting a clear cut reason, “Is it pride?”

“You’re my friend.” Kara reasoned futilely.

“Your friend, who wants to help.” Lena pointed out.

“It’s too much.” Kara tried instead.

“It’s food, Kara.” Lena said simply, “It’s a basic necessity that is never too much.” Lena reached out and placed a hand atop of Kara’s one that was tightly gripping her list of food that she could afford. Lena’s touch was gentle and grounding. “It is the bare minimum especially considering all you do for this city.”

Kara shook her head, dropping her gaze to the ground, “I don’t do that expecting anything in return.”

“I know that, that’s one of the reasons why I-” Lena’s voice cut off causing Kara to look up sharply at her, “Just...” Lena huffed out a breath of frustration, “Just tell me what it would take.”

“Lena…”

“What would it take?” Lena pushed.

“Why does it matter so much?” Kara asked instead of answering, switching the focus around. “I’ve been fine for years like this, Lena. Why does it matter?”

“Why does it matter?!” Lena spluttered, looking positively outraged. “It matters because it’s you. It matters because you deserve to have as much food as you need without worrying about paying rent. It matters because you matter. It matters because I-” Lena paled, biting down on her bottom lip hard.

“Because you?” Kara whispered, blue eyes wide with shock and hope as her heart hammered against the cage of her chest.

Lena opened and closed her mouth, her whole body tense and rigid before she exhaled deeply causing her entire being to deflate in acceptance and her head to hang, depriving Kara of bright green, “We promised each other honesty.” Lena muttered helplessly to herself, before she raised her chin determinedly, “Because I love you.”

The whole world went still. Everything went quiet. And Kara completely forgot how to breathe as Lena, yet again, took that first step of vulnerability. Yet again ventured forward, tearing down her own walls, to do something Kara didn’t know how to do.

Rao, Kara was in total awe of this woman.

This woman she adored. This woman that loved her.

This woman that made her want to strip away all her armour so that all of her could feel what it was like to bask in the presence of the one and only Lena Luthor.

“It matters for all the other reasons I said as well.” Lena continued, utterly unaware of how she had caused Kara’s entire being to unravel. “But it also matters because I love you and I can’t do nothing, Kara. I can’t do nothing when I have the very means to help you. So, please, please, please just tell me what it would take. Tell me what-”

Lena’s demands were cut off yet again.

Though this time it wasn’t her own doing, but Kara’s.

Kara’s lips pressed against hers to be exact.

It was there in the bread aisle of the local supermarket that Kara Zor-El did the first thing in her life solely as and for herself. The first time that Kara Zor-El was simply Kara Zor-El with no barriers, no armour, no secrets… and the free version of her wanted nothing more than to kiss the woman she loved.

So she did.

And it was… transcendent…

Kara cupped Lena’s cheeks with her hands so, so, so gently. She wasn’t keeping her in place or even guiding, her palms were barely brushing Lena’s skin but Kara had never needed something so much, to feel like she had her whole world safely cherished in her hands.

Lena’s lips were soft and pliable and Kara took so much care in mapping them out. Finding out how to slot their lips so that they fit perfectly together. Where to apply pressure to cause Lena’s breath to stutter. How to coax Lena’s lips gently open with the lightest swipe of her tongue.

Kara eventually pulled back an infinitesimal distance, parting so that their lips were just out of touch and their foreheads resting against each other.

“Marry me.” Kara breathed out.

“What?” Lena gasped, jerking backwards, green eyes wide and kiss-swollen lips parted in shock.

Kara laughed gleefully as she dropped her hands away from Lena’s face to wrap them around the other woman’s waist and pull her close.

“Did… did you-” Lena stuttered.

“Answer your question.” Kara grinned, pressing swift and delicate kisses to Lena’s jaw.

“My question?” Lena murmured, turning her head to the side to allow Kara a path down her neck.

“What would it take.” Kara muttered, nipping at Lena’s tendon and producing a sharp intake of breath. “For you to buy the whole store for me every other week.”

“Oh…” Lena leaned back to arch a sharp eyebrow at the blonde as a mischievous smile took over her face, “Well, now I have a goal to work towards.”

Kara’s eyes crinkled at the edges with joy, “Yeah, I guess you do.”

#supercorp #supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor

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emmy-writes-sometimes · 4 years

Text

Emergency

You’re a stunt performer and make a wrong step. When your ex, Sebastian, is your emergency contact still, will you take the opportunity to get back together?

“You sure you got this, Y/n?” Your director asked as they checked the last of the wires for your stunt. You were the unlucky stunt double who had been asked to come in and do a scene where you were literally hanging off the side of a building. You were supposed to kick out a plexiglass window, swing into the building, and do a flip. It seemed easy enough. And it wasn’t like it was even the most dangerous stunt you’d ever done. It was just tight quarters, and it was giving you heart palpitations.

“Got it, chief,” you respond, trying to sound confident even though you were pretty sure you were about to die. It was nothing like a stunt you’d done where you fell out of a helicopter, but this one had a potential of leaving you alive after breaking all of your bones. “If I don’t do it now, I never will.”

“Alright. That’s our girl. We’ll get set up and start rolling.” You anchored your foot on the building’s fake steel frame, refusing to look directly down. There was a stunt mattress below you, so that wasn’t a problem. There was nothing on the other side except cameras to watch you break every bone in your body. But you could do this. You were calm. You could do this, you told yourself. Easy as pie. And you could feel that your wires were tight, especially around your waist.

You listened to the scuffling behind you as the shot was set up, moving your foot slightly to get the angle they asked for. You put your foot on the red tape and waited. And waited. And then they called action. You kicked in the window, hearing and feeling it shatter below your feet, but upon swinging in, you made a critical error. Your feet hit the bottom of the window, sliding off of their marks, and your ribs collided with the metal frame. But your body was so close to sideways that it kept on flying, and the last thing you felt was a cracking in your rib, a similar cracking in the forearm you placed in front of you, and a searing pain in your head.

Well, shit, you thought. I broke every bone in my body. At the ripe age of twenty-three, you were going to die.

Sebastian thanked the barista as he grabbed his third cup of coffee for the day, about to go put a splash of cream in the blacker-than-black coffee. Just as he reached the table, though, his phone started vibrating in his pocket. He didn’t recognize the number, but it was a New York area code. He always answered his phone, and this time was no different. He raised the phone to his ear and listened.

“Hello?” He said.

“Hi, is this Sebastian Stan?” A woman’s voice asked.

“Yeah, this is he, what can I do for you?” He responded.

“You’re the emergency contact for Y/f/n Y/l/n, correct?” Sebastian froze at the sound of your name. It had been only a month since you’d broken up. For a dumb reason, too – because of the media. Not because of either of you, but because the media just couldn’t stop and Sebastian refused to do that to you and to your career. You would both be lying if you said you weren’t completely in love with each other. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t cry about it every so often, or every time you had something to say you had to bite back the urge to call him and tell him. He regretted ever breaking up with you, but he knew the opportunity to apologize was long gone. Or was it?

“Yeah, I guess I probably am,” he started. Then he realized – emergency contact. His heart skipped a beat. “Wait, why, is she okay?”

“She will be,” the woman said. “I’m sorry. I’m a nurse at St. George’s in Manhattan, she was just brought in a few minutes ago. Apparently there was an accident involving a window.”

“Oh, my God. Is she okay?”

“It wasn’t fatal. She just broke a few ribs, fractured her forearm, and got a nasty concussion. We were wondering if you could come in and be with her and fill out some information for us.”

“Yeah, yeah, I can be there in twenty minutes.” So the opportunity for him to apologize hadn’t gone out the window. He probably would have to apologize for jumping in on the situation, but your parents were across the country. The reason he was your emergency contact in the first place was because he was the first person you trusted to take care of you if something happened. And as terrible as the situation was, Sebastian didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth. He put the lid back on his coffee, hung up the phone, and walked outside to get the first taxi he saw. You probably would need the coffee more than he did.

“What’s the diagnosis?” You looked at the nurse as she walked into your room with an iPad full of information. She just smiled at you.

“Not great, but not terrible,” she responded. “You fractured your forearm. You broke four ribs, it looks like you cracked a couple more, and you’re lucky you didn’t crack your head open.”

“Great. So, do you guys do, like, a shuttle back to my apartment or something?” The nurse laughed.

“No, we called your emergency contact. He’s on his way now.” You froze. The only emergency contact you could even think of was Sebastian. Your parents were literally across the country and your dad was at work because you’d talked to him earlier. There was no way it could be anyone but the ex you wished more than anything wasn’t your ex.

It had been an amicable split, and that was the worst part. There wasn’t a fight that ended it, or a big secret that came out, or cheating. It was just that the world felt like they owned Sebastian and therefore you, and he didn’t want to put that on you. It was admirable on his part, but you’d be lying if it didn’t break your heart. He was the best relationship you’d ever had, easily. You could have seen yourself with him for good, and you had seen it that way. But the media had just gotten so bad that you could barely be seen together. You wanted to keep trying, because maybe it would die down, but Sebastian had been through it before. He knew. And he knew that the only way to let you have the success you deserved was to let you go. But you had never told him how much you didn’t want that. Maybe now was your chance. Or maybe he just wouldn’t say a word.

“Yeah, he’s kind of an ex,” you explained.

“I can call him and tell him you healed if you want,” she offered. You shook your head.

“It’s not even his fault, that’s the worst part.” The nurse smiled.

“Well, I’ll go ahead and get the release papers for you so you can get out of here quickly. Press the button on the side of the bed if you need something.” You nodded and watched her leave. You turned your head to see your backpack with your phone inside of it, and part of you considered texting Sebastian you were sorry that he had to come down here in the middle of the day because you didn’t know how to properly do your job. But you weren’t even alone long enough to reach for it. The pain in your arm and your ribs had subsided, fading into a feeling of fuzziness, but your head was throbbing so much that you could barely look to your side. You could barely see as Sebastian walked in.

“Y/n,” he said as he walked in the door. He was always gorgeous, but even now he was breathtaking. His eyes were wide and full of concern. He was sporting a hiatus beard and slightly longer hair than usual, and he was wearing that Rutgers hoodie that you used to steal all the time. He looked like the giant teddy bear of a man you were completely and utterly in love with.

“You don’t have to tell me this is stupid, because I know it is,” you responded dryly. Humor. That was a great way to cope with what was currently going on. It was also your only defense mechanism, and Sebastian saw right through it. He smiled that perfect smile.

“They said you fell out of a window?” He asked. “Listen, I know I broke your heart, but I’m not worth suicide.” That brought a sick smile to your face.

“As if I’d kill myself over you,” you rolled your eyes. “This was obviously a ploy to get your attention.” He walked closer to you, his eyes serious.

“Seriously, though. What happened?”

“I was doing a stunt and I was supposed to kick a window, but I didn’t do it right. I literally thought I was going to die.” He chuckled. “I’m not that bad at my job, I promise. And I’m really sorry they made you come down here, I didn’t even think I’d ever need an emergency contact.”

“Yeah, but you’re admitting you need me. It’s fueling my ego so please, keep going.” You could tell he was only half playing when his smile faded. He walked closer to you until you scooted over in the bed, letting him sit on the side. You wanted to grab him and hug him, but you had one working arm and it had an IV running through it. “I’ve been thinking about calling you.”

“I saw a really cute dog the other day and it took everything in me not to call you,” you admitted. You looked down, feeling your face go red. “I miss you, Seb. A lot.”

“I miss you too. A whole lot. And I’ve been thinking every single day about calling to apologize, but every time I thought about it, I thought it was too late, so I would just wait, and…”

“Apologize for what?”

“For fucking breaking your heart. And mine. It was a shitty thing to do, and if I hadn’t then I could’ve been there today.”

“You couldn��t have stopped me falling out of a stunt window.”

“No, but I could’ve been there to pick you back up. I’m sorry, kid. I was so worried about the rest of the world and how they were worried about your job and the age difference that I didn’t worry about you when I should have.” Sebastian’s hand went to your arm with the IV in it, grabbing onto your hand. “And I think it would be completely pathetic to ask to have you back, but here I am doing it.”

“Yes.” You didn’t hesitate. You didn’t need to hesitate because there was no doubt in your mind that you should say yes. Sebastian looked up at you, a little confused. “Yes. I want you back too. And I’m sorry it took this to get you here, but…”

“I’m sorry, baby.” He gripped onto your hand tightly and you tried to squeeze it, but you were on too many pain medications to be able to tell if you did or not. “I love you. And I’m not gonna let some stupid Daily Mail article change that because it’s dumb.” You sniffled.

“I love you too.” Sebastian leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead, then your lips. You’d missed him so much. You’d missed how he smelled, how soft his lips were, how he’d always kiss the same spot on your forehead. Just as he gave you a smile, the nurse appeared again with papers in hand.

“Alright, these are the release forms. Basically, if you’re going home on your own, you sign for yourself, if you’re going with someone else just write them down instead.”

“Thank you,” Sebastian said to her. She handed him a pen and the clipboard and left the room again.

“My insurance and stuff are in my wallet,” you told him.

“I think I still remember most of it. And, besides, you’re coming home with me anyway.”

“Seb, you don’t have to…”

“I want to take care of my girlfriend after she fell out of a window.”

“It was a plexiglass window.”

“I know. But it was still a window. You’re still my girlfriend. Or you are now. Just let me baby you for a couple weeks, okay? I missed you.” You smiled.

“Thanks. And only if I can borrow that hoodie back.”

“Just don’t tell the photographers that I think followed me from the coffee shop.” You scoffed.

“I promise I won’t tell the media sharks. And they’ve probably figured it out on their own anyway. I’m sure the studio is going to issue some kind of statement and then people will track it to me and then figure out that I’m going with you.”

“Yeah, probably. I don’t care, though. You’re mine. Fractured body and all.” Sebastian leaned in and kissed your forehead again, a smile coming over his face as he went back to signing papers.

A/N: I hope you like it!

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan imagine

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luna-tormenta · 3 years

Text

Lúthiena & The Fam Book Review: Urban Faery Magick by Tara Sanchez

This is my first witchy book review, please bare with me. It may not be the best review but, I wanted to share my thoughts and experiences, as well as some of my spirit family's opinions on it! Hope you all enjoy it! Thanks for reading💀🌙🌻

Lúthiena's Review

This book challenges the reader to "stretch their understanding of the world around them" (pg 7), and after reading, I believe it truly lived up to these words. Urban Faery Magick is dedicated to techniques, experiences, encounters, and everything in-between of working with and learning about the Fae in modern times!

Firstly, I would like to say, the title of this book should be "Modern Faery Magick" or "Faery Magick of Today", because it has a TON of information on working with the Fair Folk. Not just working with them in an "Urban" sense. Yes I know it says "Connecting to the Fae in the Modern World" underneath the title, but I just think it should have been named differently🤔🤷‍♀️

The first portion of this book, is all about techniques of meditation, protection, and how to build up necessary skills for communicating and working with the Fae. Such as working with your imagination to build up your Sight, practicing Pareidolia (the ability to see faces and shapes in objects), and dowsing for Fae activity. There are a bunch of techniques, that I will describe in a later paragraph! It also contains information on the Courts, names, and folklore surrounding these amazing spirits. Tara does an amazing, in-depth job with writing about the Fae, especially when in the case of working with them.

Chapter 3 contains detailed descriptions of basic techniques to aid the reader in their exploration of Faeries. It covers breathing techniques, rhythmic breathing and walking, and a meditation called "The Silence Between" (pg 42).

This involves listening to your heart beat and feeling your pulse to meditate (your heartbeat and pulse don't line up and there's a small pause between each.) While using this technique, it allows you to enter into the Otherworld through the slight pause, it's a neutral ground between our realm and theirs, it's "the silence between" both worlds.

Next in line comes a cleansing/grounding technique, called the Verdant Breath, which uses the aid of an Ivy plant spirit. In chapter 4, Tara uses this breathing technique to go a little further and work with this spirit to protect yourself. I really enjoyed learning the different techniques throughout this chapter, it was really cool to see new components I've never learned before. I have tried the Verdant Breath and have seen a difference in my ability to meditate. Next, I will be trying the Silence Between.

Teachings in chapters 3 and 4 are there to help you build up skills for further exercises and meditations that are placed throughout the entire book. Tara also uses these chapters to explain why it is important to build up your abilities before interacting with the Fae, and why it's highly recommended to protect yourself. Amongst these pages are different charms and amulets to use, as well.

Next we further our understanding of the Fae through chapters 5-7, and look into further techniques used in folklore and history. I really like Tara's use of history and folktales because she touches on bits and pieces of EVERYTHING, and knows when to stay in her lane.

The second half of Urban Faery Magick is my favorite. Tara introduces an elemental system known as Wu Xing, because not all Faeries "fit neatly into the boxes" of the five elemental system we know as witches, and I highly agree with her! (Pg 101) In ways this system is alike the five elemental system we know and frequently use, but is a bit different. I highly recommend looking into Wu Xing a bit further after reading Tara's book.

Leaving out Spirit of the western elemental system, Tara combines the Wu Xing elements with the 4 elements of our normal system, to create more categories for identifying and labeling species of Fae. I have included a quote of page #104 for a better understanding of how Tara classifies and combines the elements.

"Note: ...The manner in which my system combines the Eastern and Western systems follows a very similar process, with each of the Eastern elements combing to make aspects of the Western (or vice versa), as can be seen in the table below.

[Picture ID: Columns of the Eastern and Western elementals systems. Across the top are five boxes containing the words Wood, Fire, Metal, Water and Earth, each box contains a element. On the left side of the graph contains four boxes, from top to bottom, with the words Earth, Air, Fire and Water. The different element columns are combined. Top to bottom, under the "Wood" category, we have "Earth of Wood, Air of Wood, Fire of Wood, Water of Wood". To the right of "Wood", under the "Fire" category there is "Earth of Fire, Air of Fire, Fire of Fire, Water of Fire". To the right of "Fire" is "Metal". This category starts with "Earth of Metal" then "Air of Metal, Fire of Metal, Water of Metal". Next in line is "Water". Underneath we have "Earth of Water, Air of Water, Fire of Water, Water of Water". The last category is "Earth". Underneath is "Earth of Earth, Air of Earth, Fire of Earth, Water of Earth". END ID]

This was also my first ID description. Please let me know if I need to make any changes to it! Thank you!

Therefore a being who is traditionally considered a water elemental may well actually be earth of water. Or, as with one of the entities I have worked with, fire of water. Another being may be air of metal rather than entirely air. Yet another, earth of wood, and so on.

...For each element, we will follow a case study for a particular Fae, getting to know them within environments where you may have not have thought to find them." (Page 104)

The case studies are a mix of Tara's personal experiences as well as experiences of mutuals of hers, and range across a few generations.

Each element has its own chapter, and contains a lot of information about each element. Tara does "modern sightings" for the elements, as well as two case studies. There are paragraphs dedicated to aligning yourself with each element, which I wish were a little bit longer. She also gives lovely guided meditations to visit and learn about each element's realm. At the end of each element chapter, Tara concludes with "Finding Other Fae" which includes names of Fae species to be on the lookout for!

The only bad thing I'd have to say about this book is the paragraph on giving thanks to Faeries. It states not to directly say "thank you" or acknowledge them for helping you. I, and I state again, I believe in giving thanks to my Faerie friends. Plus, Tara kind of contradicts herself by dedicating a paragraph to "not thanking the Fae" then tells you, in a later chapter, to "thank the Fae you work with". But, I digress.

I'm super grateful to have come across this book! I highly recommend it to anyone who works with the Fae, as well as beginners, because like Tara says in the beginning, everyone can learn at least one new thing! I give this book 5 out of 5 stars!⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Spirit Family's Reviews:

Dawn, the Selkie:

"I really enjoyed the classification of the elemental systems combined. It adds a deeper perspective and understanding of Fae for humans to learn about us. This allows them to form a better viewpoint on our aspects as Faeries."

L, a Lunar Moth Faerie:

"I enjoyed the element system like Dawn, but got a bit confused on how to categorize Fae, like myself, who have planetary aspects. I wonder if Lúthiena will write to the author for me!! Other than that I agree the info gives aspiring AND experienced Fae workers a ton of info to starting and maintaining relationships with spirits of our kind. I also believe it is in our nature to urbanize and I like Tara's view on it. She should write another book!!"

Ly, High Lord Fae of the Night Court:

"The information provided in Urban Faery Magick is simply put and highly informative. As a High Fae Lord, it is my duty to join together with different types of Faeries, meaning I have met quite a few species. Tara adds great descriptions to each element she provides, and elegantly designed ways the reader can interact with each element. This is a must-read for anyone wishing to add a little magic to their lives, or is wanting to find a path into our world."

Tar, High Lord Fae of the Summer Court:

"Continuing off my friend's review, I would wish to add that Tara magnificently wrote Urban Faery Magick. You can clearly see the dedication she has towards working with Faeries throughout the pages. She must have a higher purpose of working with the Fae. I especially enjoy knowing she is teaching others about things like the Thorn Gates, since a lot of portals have been destroyed. Hopefully, thanks to Tara's book, they may gain the respect they once had."

Bo, a Boggart:

"Let's just say I did NOT like the stuff said towards boggarts. We are not house faeries gone wild. Yes, sometimes we have slightly irritating tendencies. But we always mean well to you humans. Other than that the book was great."

Hank, an Eyeball Demon:

"Even though I am no where near a classification of Fae, I have had many encounters with them over my many years. Tara has an interesting take on the modernization of the Fae species that is very true and real. I agree the titled works, Urban Faery Magick, should be on every spirit worker's shelf."

Dara, a Toddler Fae*:

"I really liked the story of Rumpleskillson. (Rumpelstiltskin). It was like so cool he could turn that stuff to gold. Maybe I can do that someday. Also, there's like so many stories of us in that book! El Cadejo was another cool one! If you like stories about us you should read that book"

*For those who are not aware, Dara is an experimental hybrid Faery. He was rescued from a Spirit Hoarder who enjoyed experimenting on faeries.

Ra, a Rose Demon:

"I didn't enjoy being called a plant diva, no matter how true the statement is.

The Earth class was slightly misunderstood as we are still here, thriving ever beautifully on. Some of us just choose to hide in your plants more carefully.

Like Hank said, I don't technically fall under the Faery thing either, but I am a plant spirit and Tara mostly depicted us perfectly. I mean she did write some pretty neat stuff." **brushes hair off shoulder**

Aaron, a Hellhound:

"This was a very knowledge filled book."

LA, a Dandelion Angel:

"Firstly, we're not ALL plant divas. We just really like things to go certain ways. Other than being called a diva, the pages of Urban Faery Magick contained useful information for Fae workers. I especially liked reading the Cairn exercise and how it instructed to build it at home, NOT in nature. I also agree Tara should create another magical read like this."

We hope you enjoyed our reviews!

For more information on Urban Faery Magick please visit:

Search "Urban Faery Magick" on Amazon

Www.TaraSanchez.com

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peppersonironi · 4 years

Text

Batfam Avengers Crossover Chapter Two: Meeting

Chapter Two, folks! Finally some batfam appearances.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Category: Gen

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types

Relationships: Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Natasha Romanov & Damian Wayne, Clint Barton & Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tim Drake & Duke Thomas, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Dick Grayson/Wally West, Roy Harper/Koriand'r/Jason Todd,

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Barbara Gordon, Justice League (DCU), Alfred Pennyworth, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Thor (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Peter Parker, Alfred the Cat (DCU), Bat-Cow (DCU), Goliath (DCU), Selina Kyle’s Cat Isis, Kate Kane (DCU), Duke Thomas,

Additional Tags: Batbrothers (DCU), Avengers Meet The Batfam, MCU/Batfam crossover, Crossover, no beta we die like robins, rated T for Jason’s language, I bleeped it out though. Just to be safe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, canon? What’s canon?, Deaf Clint Barton,Deaf Character, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Happy Batfamily (DCU), Birdflash and joyfire are implied/referenced,

Summary: Avengers enter the cave, and meet the batfam!

Notes: In sorry if this chapter is a bit boring, I tried to keep it light. (I know the techie stuff that I glossed over bored even me) But now that I’m done with the first introductory chapters, I can move to some - hopefully - more fun scenarios!

“Woah.” Peter looked around at the giant cavern that the Green Lantern guy had flown them into. His ring had formed some kind of platform to carry them, and Peter was still theorizing how it worked.

They had flown toward the city - named Gotham apparently - following the mysterious “Batman”. Then reached a waterfall, which had a huge mechanical door system that parted the water. They had gone through a long pathway lit up on the edges before emerging in the cave.

It was huge, with multiple platforms built into the rock. Peter first found himself on one that was clearly meant for vehicles, as there were multiple motorcycles parked beside where Batman’s car stopped. There were other levels that held gym equipment, a sparring ring, weapons stations, and some sort of lab. There was weird memorabilia too. Peter spotted a giant penny, dinosaur, and a Joker playing card. A few more levels had cases for suits, not unlike that which Mr. Stark had. Though some of the suits were strange. One was clearly bloody and ripped. One of the most prominent platforms held a huge computer with a dominating black chair.

However, Peter could have sworn it was playing … The Dinosaur Game? That was weird.

Batman got out of his car the way he had before and made his way over toward the Avengers, where they had been set down by Green Lantern. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, a very loud voice called out in the cave, startling everyone except the Batman.

“Bruce! Where the F*** is my AK-47?!”

The Hulk, who had since transformed back into Bruce Banner, frowned in confusion.

No one got the chance to question it, however, because a young man in a skin tight black bodysuit swung from another level, and was now hanging upside down from a support beam near Batman. He had a blue bird on his chest, Peter thought it looked a bit like an eagle. He also had on a black domino mask.

“Hey B!” He said cheerily. “ I should probably warn you that Hood is on a rampage ‘cause he can’t find his gun. And also Robin is threatening everyone as per usual. ” The Dark Knight sighed. “What about Red Robin, Spoiler, and Oracle? ”

The new comer grinned. “Dinosaur Game Championship. Oracle is in the lead.”

There was a sudden shout of disapproval from where the apparent game seemed to be held.

“And Signal?”

“Taking weapons stock while muttering about how insane we all are.” He shook his head. “He seems to forget he’s one of us, and therefore crazy by association.”

The Dark Knight sighed once more, this time with his fingers on the bridge of his nose. “Thank you Nightwing. Would you tell Red Hood that his AK-47 is in the Med Bay where he left it when he was doing his stitches? And tell everyone to meet in the conference room in uniform. Code 27G.”

Nightwings eyes - well, lenses - widened. He glanced at the Avengers. “Huh. Sure can do B.”

He swung up from his perch, flipped onto the platform above him - Peter was pretty impressed at how casually he did so - and ran off, seemingly melting into the shadows.

An awkward silence followed, with the Avengers all huddling protectively together. Peter really wanted to explore - that T-Rex looked awesome - but he saw the worried look on Mr. Stark’s face. This was an unfamiliar situation. They must be cautious.

A moment later Peter had had enough of caution. “Excuse me sir, is that a dinosaur?”

The Dark Knight turned toward Peter and glared. Out of the corner of his eye, Peter saw Mr. Stark tense up. But a split second later the glare softened. “Yes. Animatronic. From one of my early … endeavors.”

Peter grinned under his mask. “Cool!”

Batman lifted his head, and began walking on a path up. “Come, I’ll show you where we can talk.”

*****

They entered a meeting room that was off to the side of the cave. There was already a group present. They were clumped loosely in a corner, boredom and intrigue apparent on their faces. They all stood to attention when Batman walked into the room, all except for Nightwing from earlier. He was currently in a handstand in the center of the conference table, shifting from one hand to the other. He collapsed onto the table at the sight of the arrivals, before quickly jumping to his feet and saluting with an embarrassed grin on his face. Batman rolled his eyes and they all went back to what they were doing, except Nightwing who slumped into a chair.

The group of teeneagers were dressed in more skin-tight suits. Peter was slightly taken aback by how young they were. The smallest seemed to be around ten - perhaps he was this “Robin” mentioned earlier - and the oldest in his early twenties. Most seemed to be about his own age though, in their mid teens. It felt weird to not be the only kid.

The closest was a young man sitting in one of the chairs with his feet on the table. He seemed to be taller than Nightwing, with a broader chest. He wore gray cargo pants, some sort of utility belt, an armored shirt with a red bat on it, a leather jacket, and a red helmet that looked a lot like Tony’s. Peter could already imagine the copyright complaints from their resident billionaire. The man also had gun holsters on each leg, and was stroking a - newly returned - AK-47 in his arms.

The first teenager had black bottoms and red top with a black and gold “X” over his chest, joined by some symbol that looked vaguely like an “R”. He also had a black cape and smooth cowl. He was standing in the corner, leaning against a wall with a tablet and mug of coffee in hand.

A teenage girl stood beside the teen, dressed in a mostly purple with hints-of-black bodysuit and a purple hooded cape. She wore a full black mask over her face, with only white lenses. It was a bit freaky, but she was mostly non-threatening, due to her easygoing posture and laugh, which was directed at the teen with the cowl.

The kid was dressed in black leggings, green boots and gloves, a red and yellow tunic with an “R” on it, black and yellow hooded cape, and green domino mask. Though the strangest thing about him was the huge Katana he was sharpening while sitting at the table. He also had an unimpressed glare on his face. Peter decided that he and Helmet-Guy were the scariest in the room. Aside from Batman.

Another teenaged boy had a tired look on what Peter could see of his face, as he looked slightly disapprovingly at his companions. He stood in more heavily plated bright yellow and black armor with a bat symbol on it. He had a utility belt, and a helmet which looked to be shaped like a bat.

What was with these people and bats?

Peter didn’t get to ask, as at that moment a new person joined the group. Flying down a ramp was a red headed young woman in a wheelchair. She expertly slowed to a stop in front of Batman, who had not yet entered the room. Peter noticed that she had hastily applied a black domino mask, leaving a pair of glasses in her lap, along with a laptop.

“Sorry I’m late B, I forgot where I had put my extra mask. These things keep disappearing!” She said the last part while glaring at the kids.

“It’s fine, Oracle. Now that we’re all here-” He paused, then looked around at the group. “Where’s Black Bat?”

“Handling a Robbery downtown. She’s finishing up. ETA 20 minutes.”

Batman nodded. “Very well, we’ll continue without her, she won’t mind.”

He entered the room, ushering everyone else to do so as well. With a quick glare, all the kids sat down. The Avengers joined them, as there were plenty of seats. The only one who did not sit was Batman.

He spoke once everyone was ready, mainly directing his words to the kids. Peter briefly wondered what it would be like to actually be respected like that, but shook off the thought. Batman quickly and efficiently summarizes the events, including several readings of the energy sources, which only the red and black teen seemed to understand as he nodded along, looking fascinated. Once he was done, Batman turned to the Avengers. “Names. No need to share personal identities if you are uncomfortable. Though since we are from different earths, I doubt it would matter.”

“Everyone already knows our identities on our earth,” Mr. Stark said, receiving several weird looks from the teens. “So it’s not a problem for us.” He removed his face plate. “Tony Stark, I’m Iron man in the suit, which I built myself.” He gestures to Steve Rogers next.

“Captain America, Steve Rogers. Our resident super soldier and senior citizen.” Steve frowned at the last comment.

“Bruce Banner,” Mr. Stark said next, “Alter ego is the Hulk. Anger Issues and Gamma radiation galore.”

Red Robin perked up. “Cool! How did-” He was cut off by a glare from Batman.

“This is Thor Odinson, named… well, Thor. God of lightning, has a hammer. You can call him Sparky Sparky Boom Man.” A pause. “Yeah, maybe just stick with Thor.”

“Clint Barton, codename Hawkeye. Our long distance weapons specialist.” Mr. Stark gestured to Clint’s bow for good measure. The kids giggled and whispered something to each other that sounded like ‘Green Arrow knockoff ’, though Peter didn’t get it.

“Black Widow, Natasha Romanov. Intelligence expert, and ex-assassin.” This got a bunch of whispers from the kids.

Peter was the last to be introduced. He pulled off his mask while Mr. Stark said “The kid’s Peter Parker, our rookie, also known as Siderman ”

“You sure it’s Spiderman,” Helmet-Guy said.

Peter glared. “Yes.”

“Red Hood,” Batman said, frowning. “No antagonizing the interdimensional visitors.”

Red Hood just shrugged and went back to stroking his gun.

The Avengers just sat around awkwardly. The Woman jabbed her elbow into Superman’s ribs, which got him talking.

“Oh… It’s only fair we introduce ourselves, since it isn’t really official earlier.” This time it was Superman who spoke. “I’m Superman, known as Kal-El, a kryptonian. Human name is Clark Kent.”

Huh, he didn’t look like an alien.

“Here we have Wonder Woman, an amazon, demigoddess, and princess. Secret Identity is Diana Prince.” He gestured to the woman, who, despite just being called a princess, looked very threatening indeed.

“Martian Manhunter, a martian known as J’onn J'onzz. Civilian name is John Jones. Yes, quite original.” The Martian nodded in greeting, and Peter was seriously freaking out. A real martian!? Cool!

“Flash, a speedster also known as Barry Allen.” The man pulled back his cowl as Superman spoke.

“S’up?” He asked with a smile.

“And Hal Jordan, one of the Green Lanterns.”

“The best Green Lantern.”

Batman grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “keep telling yourself that.”

Superman turned to Batman, but before he could, the Dark Knight spoke. “I can do it myself Clark.” He lifted his hand and removed his cowl to reveal a handsome man in his early to mid thirties with black hair and blue eyes. “Batman, also known as Bruce Wayne.”

He turned toward the kids. “These are my kids, as well as partners.”

He started with Nightwing. “Nightwing, aka Richard Grayson. My eldest.” Richard grinned and removed his domino mask. He too had blue eyes.

“Call me Dick,” he said.

“Red Hood, aka Jason Todd, my second eldest.” Jason pressed some button or something on his helmet and took it off to reveal… a domino mask. After a quick glare from Bruce, he sighed and took it off. Revealing black hair and blue eyes.

“Red Robin,” there was a soft ‘yum’ that came from the corner, though Peter couldn’t tell who said it. “Aka Tim Drake.” Tim pulled his cowl back and grinned. He had black hair and blue eyes.

“Over there is Signal, aka Duke Thomas, my ward.” The teen took off his helmet, revealing yet another black-haired kid. Though Duke was clearly african american, and had brown eyes.

“Next is Robin aka Damian Wayne, my youngest.” Damian sneered as if he were above everyone around him.

“Spoiler, aka Stephanie Brown, is a family friend.” Stephanie waved.

“I’m also his ex,” Stephanie said, jutting her thumb at Tim.

Tim groaned. “When will you stop introducing yourself like that?”

“When it stops getting under your skin.”

Tim sank back in his chair and flung an arm over his eyes.

Batman sighed once more. “Oracle, aka Barbara Gordan. Also a family friend, and our tech specialist.” Baraba nodded in recognition. “Now that introductions are out of the way, we must discuss how you got here, and how you’ll get back.”

Everyone nodded and began the discussion. Mr. Stark started off the explanation, going over Anagnorisis, the compound, the gun that they got hit with, and how they ended up in the crater.

The other adults - mainly Batman - popped in, talking about the calculations for such an interdimensional jump. Peter listened intently, as he found it utterly fascinating, but didn’t add anything. Then Tim spoke, listing off a series of numbers and variables, that were received with nods. Peter was a bit jealous that he spoke so easily. So Peter decided to add something later on, a small comment about energy sources. When he did, the conversation stopped. Peter thought he was dead meat for interrupting, but then Bruce - Wayne, not Banner - spoke.

“The kid’s smart.”

Mr. Stark smiled proudly.

A moment later the conversation continued. They went on for almost a half hour, and even Peter was getting a bit bored. He could tell the other kids were too. The girls seemed to have gotten back to their Dinosaur Game championship, and there were small cheers and groans coming from their corner every so often. Jason and Damian had yet to set aside their weapons, though they had begun a small conversation too quiet for Peter to hear. The only people who seemed to be paying attention were Dick and Tim, though Dick clearly didn’t understand half the words that were being tossed around.

The adults seemed to be disinterested as well, namely Barry and Hal, who were in the middle of a thumb war. When they inevitably got too loud, Batman sent a glare their way. The other members of the Justice League seemed to only be listening out of courtesy. As were Thor and Clint. Natasha seemed to be focussed more on the kids. She had a small frown on her face, as if something about them bothered her.

Everyone paid attention when Batman spoke next, however. “It should take at least a week to charge up the energy sources and prepare a device to send you home.”

Peter perked up. “That’s not that long. Have you dealt with interdimensional travel in the past?”

Several of the kids groaned. “Don’t remind me,” Stephanie said.

“Worst twenty-six hours of my life!” Dick agreed.

Then Jason spoke, and Peter was speechless.

“It was almost as bad as that time I died. Now that wasn’t a fun evening.”

“You died?” Natasha said, clearly confused and worried.

“I’m better now,” he said as if referring to a common cold. Jason had a small smirk on his face as he shrugged.

“Back to the discussion at hand,” Batman said, glaring at Jason. “Yes, Peter, we have dealt with the multiverse before. It should be fairly simple to locate your dimension and send you back. The only problem is powering the device. It requires Superman flying out to the sun and placing the energy core inside to fuel it. It needs to remain there for over a week.”

“You can fly to the sun?” Mr. Stark asked. “How do you survive?”

Clark shrugged. “I have impenetrable skin, and a very high melting point.”

No one questioned this, though Peter was quite intrigued.

“Where will they stay?” Dick asked, which caused a sudden silence.

“Does the Watchtower have enough rooms available?” Barry asked.

“What’s the Watchtower?” Peter asked.

“Our space station,” Diana answered, much to Peter’s delight, “and no, we have those visiting Green Lanterns, remember? Hal has been grousing about it all this week.”

“I was not!” Hal said, then sighed. “Okay, maybe I was, but that’s beside the point. What about your farmhouse, Clark?”

Clark shook his head. “Under renovation. Speaking of which I need to head over there after this. Lois will have a cow if I’m late.”

There was silence after that, as everyone was thinking. Then Stephanie got a - slightly evil, Peter thought - smile on her face. “What about the Manor? God knows we have enough space.”

“You don’t even live here!” Tim said.

Bruce glared at Stephanie for a bit then sighed. “The Manor would work. Though why anyone would want to stay with you rabble rousers is beyond my understanding.”

Jason snorted. “Says the guy who adopted us all willingingly.”

Batman grumbled, but was saved from replying as a sudden noise came from the door.

The meeting room had a wide glass window next to the exit - which was open - so Peter had a good view of the sleek black motorcycle that entered the cave, upon which rode a figure dressed all in black. The motorcycle was parked and yet another costumed teen - this time a girl - strolled toward the conference room.

She was dressed in head to toe black, in the form of a skin tight suit. She also had a yellow utility belt, and outline of a bat on her chest. She wore a black cape and cowl which had pointed ears and covered her whole face. There seemed to be some form of stitching across her mouth, which was quite creepy.

She walked forward and entered the room quickly. Bruce smiled upon seeing her.

“Ah, Black Bat. How was the robbery?”

She motioned with her hands in a way that Peter didn’t understand. It seemed vaguely like that sign language which he’d seen Clint use.

Whatever it was, Batman seemed to understand. “Very good. These are our visitors. Code 27G. They’ll be staying at the manor till we can send them back.”

Black Bat reached up and took off her cowl revealing an asian girl around eighteen year old with a black bob. “Good,” she said. “Names?”

“We’re allowing them. Over there we have Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Thor Odinson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker, and Bruce Banner.”

“Bruce?” She asked with a smirk.

Batman sighed. “Yes.” He turned to the group. “This is my Daughter Cassandra Cain. Alias is Black Bat.”

Everyone muttered small hellos, except Jason who said something with the word “favorite” in it. Cassandra didn’t seem bothered by the lack of enthusiasm. She just smiled and walked over to Damian.

“Seat. Mine.” She spoke simply.

Peter thought the kid would just sneer, but instead he quickly moved over. He could have sworn the kid looked scared. Perhaps the kid was all bark and no bite.

“Well, if that’s all, I really should be going,” Clark Kent said as he rose from the table. “Good luck with staying at the manor. See ya kids.”

“Bye Uncle Supes,” The kids chorused

“I should be going as well,” Barry said. I’m needed at the station.”

Soon the rest of the league left, and the Avengers were left alone with the bats and birds.

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elldell1204 · 4 years

Text

Confessions - Matt Casey x Reader

Anonymous: Hey! Could you do a Matt Casey X Reader? Maybe you could include the prompt ‘I hate that I love you‘

Thank you for the request, and I hope I made something similar to what you meant! Wasn’t sure if you wanted it a little more angsty than I made it, but I’m pretty happy with how this turned out. Enjoy! 😊

wc - 2,655

Ah, Matt Casey. The man who didn’t realise just how charming he is. You were surprised women didn’t just fall at his feet wherever he walked, but who knows? They might, but he just keeps helping them up, thinking they were in need of saving. He is a firefighter, after all, and that’s what he does best.

You wouldn’t have guessed that, though, if you were to meet him on the street and not on your first day as a new member of Truck. Possibly a thief by the way he stole your breath away when your eyes landed upon him, the slightly stretched fabric of his white captain’s shirt that was distorted by the muscles they poorly hid underneath, a pair of eyes the colour of aquamarine, golden hair that looked like the sun had kissed it and a smile that warmed you from the inside out.

You remembered it like it was yesterday, mainly how you had to swallow the massive lump that had formed in your throat and introduce yourself to your new boss, who you now had the hots for. Safe to say the cold water you splashed on your face afterwards did very little to help your composure.

Since then, you had scolded yourself every time you admired him a little too long, every time you thought about what those large but oh so meticulous hands could do, every time you imagined what you and him could have if it weren’t for you working under his command. Truth be told, the only things stopping you from blurting out how you felt were the natural fear of it being unreciprocated and the fact that he was your captain.

You were sure the rest of your family at 51 would welcome a relationship between the two of you. In fact, Stella had teased you multiple times about the longing gazes at his form whilst doing drills, she had even told you to ‘go for it, girl, get your man’, which you had laughed at brushed off. You’re even pretty sure Herrmann gave you some fatherly advice about it under the guise of it being something every young woman should know. Only, you knew that it would be frowned upon by the rest of the CFD, and as soon as they found out, CFD Brass would be coming for your badge or forcing you to move houses.

So, for right now, you were happy admiring what you couldn’t have whilst keeping your close friendship with Casey just that and staying with your family at 51. And that’s the way it’ll have to be.

“Hey, Y/N.” Casey chirped, breaking your reverie as he circled around the counter to stand just beside where you were drying the dishes.

“G’morning, Casey. You sound very chipper for seven-thirty in the morning.” You cast a smile his way, which he already wore and therefore returned, but you could’ve sworn it got a little brighter.

“I’m seeing my niece this weekend for her birthday, so I’m really looking forward to it.” He explained as he reached for a glass in the cupboard above you.

Your heart could have burst at how cute this was. He was absolutely beaming with joy.

“That sounds lovely, Matt.” You reply, genuinely, as you bend over to put a pan back into the cupboard.

That’s when you heard the smash, and you quickly stood back up, looking over to see what caused it. On the floor were shards of glass with Casey standing over them, this hand still positioned how it would be if he were holding it and his cheeks tinted a deep pink shade in embarrassment. His eyes were wide in shock, but they weren’t focused on the glass, they were focused on you. ‘Was he checking out my ass?’ you thought as you laughed internally.

“I’m so sorry.” He breathed out, getting to his knees to start picking up the larger pieces. “I’ve just been a little distrac-clumsy, lately.”

He was flustered, a little too much for it to just be about the glass, but you brushed by it and went to get the dustpan and brush to help. You knelt down beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder to calm his flustered state a little. When he looked up and met your eyes, you gave him a small, comforting smile, shrugged and said, “Don’t worry about it, Casey. Things happen.”

Then you both went back to cleaning up the glass, but still he was frustrated with himself for being so klutzy.

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. I’m usually more careful than this.” He sounded annoyed.

You chuckled lightly at him. “I know, Matt, and I love you for it, but we all have those days. It’s not a problem.”

You continued to sweep up, but Matt had frozen at your words. You were confused until you replayed them back over in your head, when you realised what you said. Slowly, you lifted your head to face him, his jaw tense and eyes a little hazy.

But before you could explain yourself or make a little joke to ease the tension, you were saved by the bell. And you swear you had never run out of that common room faster.

***

Everything about the call screamed ‘boring’. In fact, you’re pretty sure if a firefighter made a dictionary, a photo of this exact moment would be the definition. You rolled up to the abandoned warehouse and were met with a woman who just so happened to be walking her dog nearby when she spotted smoke rolling out of one of the windows.

It was supposed to be a simple sweep for any homeless who inhabited the building. Truck 81, Engine 51 and Ambo 61 had been called out, so you all stood waiting for orders from your captain after he finished his conversation with the woman, watching the flames licking at the windowsills.

“Mouch, standby with the aerial. Kidd, Gallo, you sweep the top two floors and Y/L/N and I will sweep the bottom two. Let’s go, everyone.” Casey commanded.

You all jogged to the entrance, crouching to pull on your masks and then making your way inside. You and Casey split off from Kidd and Gallo almost immediately, them taking the stairs whilst you two were to sweep the ground floor and basement. Sticking together, you cleared your first floor in mere minutes, ready to tackle the basement.

The wooden stairs leading down were old and creaky, and you got that pit of unease in your stomach. Periodically, you both shouted, “Fire department, call out!”. But you heard no reply.

You both made it to the last room, a fairly small one with no natural light, when the alarms on your SCBA’s started blaring. Clearing your last room, Casey announced, “That’s it, let’s head out.” and radioed in to let the rest of the team know your status.

Only as soon as the radio went dead again, the roof above you collapsed and timber dropped all around you like rain. Casey pulled you to him, shielding you the best he could with his body as the world seemed to crumble before your very eyes.

But a vicious blow to the head was all it took to knock you out.

***

It can’t have been more than a minute before you opened your eyes. At first everything seemed so peaceful. That was until the memories of the last five minutes kicked in. You were laid slumped against a pile of debris, a mask still over your face but it wasn’t your own. You noticed it was attached to an oxygen tank that was placed down beside you.

Casey’s.

You looked around as you pulled off your mask, dust particles attacking your lungs when you took your first breath of something other than pure oxygen. You heard Matt before you saw him, grunting as he attempted to heave a huge wooden beam out of the way of the door. You knew from the size of it that it was never going to happen, which meant so did he, but still he tried with all his might to make it budge.

You shifted to your knees and then your feet, careful that the searing pain through your head didn’t make you drop to the ground once more.

“Casey.” You croaked out, your voice hoarse and your throat dry. He didn’t hear you at first, so you walked closer and grabbed his arm. He spun around, surprised to see you awake and alert.

“Y/N,” He breathed out in disbelief, standing upright and grabbing both of your shoulders. “I thought you were…you were…”

“I’m good, but we both know we can’t get out of here on our own.” You got straight down to business, surveying the area around you to stop yourself getting lost in his eyes, pools of concern and relief. “Have you radioed in?”

“Yeah, everyone else is safe and Squad’s on their way, but I’m not sure they’ll make it in time.” He made you meet his gaze again to make sure you knew what he meant. He then let go of you and started marching around to find any way to escape. “If we were just able to lift this beam with a pole or something…”

“And then what about the other three, each bigger than the last?” You snapped, and immediately felt guilty, but he understood. You were both under an immense amount of stress and the lack of clean air didn’t help.

He didn’t reply, just kept looking around. After a few more seconds of letting him stay hopeful, you sighed. “Matt, it’s no good.”

“No, no, I’m sure-“

“Goddamnit, Matt.” Your voice was firmer, but your eyes adopted something more accepting, more peaceful. “They’ll get us, or we can try again. But let’s at least take a minute to think. Come on.”

You trudged over to the place where you woke up, furthest away from the grasps of the fire that was on the other side of the door. You heard Matt’s footsteps behind you, so you sat down, trying to make yourself as comfortable as possible. Matt sat down beside you, your shoulders touching you were so close, and offered you his hand, palm up. You took it, interlocking your gloved fingers in an effort to comfort both him and yourself.

It felt like the end. Anger and disappointment was bubbling somewhere deep inside you, regrets flooding to the forefront of your mind like a tidal wave. But still, there was some peace in it, and you had accepted your fate. And, as you laid your head on his shoulder, you took pleasure in knowing that you wouldn’t be alone as you went, even though it meant Casey was to go out with you.

Suddenly everything else but you and him seemed so small and unimportant. Like all the worries and obstacles that you were scared to face in loving him dissipated into nothingness. It was literally now or never.

“Sometimes I hate that I love you.” You admitted as he rested his head against yours.

“What?” He hummed quietly.

“I mean it. And I don’t mean love as in friendship. When you smile at me, I get those cliché butterflies that swarm around in your stomach and I can’t make them stop. You make my day, even with a little text to say good morning. And I feel like a lovesick teenager, but I can’t help it. And, trust me, I’ve tried to stop, but it’s no use. All I ever wanted was to become a firefighter, and I’ve achieved that goal, but I come into work and we talk and we laugh and it makes me want to quit my dream job just so I can kiss you goodnight and watch movies on the couch snuggled up together under a blanket. It makes me want to move to a different firehouse, away from the best family I could ever ask for, just so we can be together. You’re a bad influence, Matt Casey, and you don’t even know it, but I love you.” Each word from your mouth sounded like a little laugh in itself, mainly because you couldn’t believe you were finally saying them out loud.

Your little revelation was met with silence, apart from the crackling of the fire on the other side of the door. You dared not move your head you were so comfortable, but you knew that Matt’s face would have been one of confusion, horror or shock. Maybe a mix of the three.

A few more seconds went by before you broke the silence. “We should probably try to find a way out of here. You need to get to Violet’s party this weekend, remember?”

“No, we need to get out of here so I can start a life with you.”

You swear your heart stopped for a second, and it wasn’t for lack of oxygen. You pulled your head away to look at his face because you needed to know you weren’t imagining things. A smile grew outwards from his lips so that his eyes were twinkling, and you saw the hope that resided in them.

So you did what you desired so strongly to do every time you saw that smile. You leaned forward, connecting your lips with his and bringing your free hand up to hold his cheek in your palm, smiling into the kiss like he did. His hand found your waist, guiding you down to straddle his lap and continuing the kiss with so much fervour that soon you were both out of breath.

You pulled back, not wanting to but needing to, just far enough so your lips were no longer molded together but so you could rest your forehead on his. You sighed in happiness, eyes closed, enjoying the moment.

“If we’re gonna be able to do that again, we have to get out of here.” You whispered, and he mumbled his agreeance before you both stood up.

You looked around, grabbing your halligan which had long since been thrown on the floor. Something grew inside of you, and you weren’t sure if it was hope or love, but it urged you to push forward. You weren’t going to lose this opportunity without fighting for it first. Then you had an idea. Matt was watching you now so he saw when you swing your tool over your head to chip away at the very top of the wall. It was a long shot, but he admired your optimism and so joined you.

Both of you hacked away at the concrete and then brick, and suddenly there was an ever so small patch of sunlight streaming in through the hole. You turned your head to look at Matt and found him with the same ecstatic expression you had on your face before you both laughed with joy in celebration. You swung and you swung whilst Casey radioed in what you were doing, telling those on the outside to bring a ladder round before helping you once again.

And you did it. You made a hole just big enough so that you could both squeeze through, and you knew you didn’t have long before the flames engulfed the room you were in, seeing as they were flickering under the door right now, setting the timber that blocked it alight.

Then you heard shouts and the clanging of the metal ladder falling through the gap. You climbed out first, followed close behind by Casey, and then you and all of your family rejoiced, jumping around and hugging and crying in sheer glee. Finally, you found yourself in Casey’s arms once more, holding each other, kissing each other, telling each other without words how you were never letting go, never leaving the other’s side for as long as you both shall live.

#chicago fire #chicago fire fic #matt casey #matt casey imagine #matt casey x reader #matt casey fluff #matthew casey #matthew casey imagine #matthew casey x reader

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izzyphantomgamer · 4 years

Text

You made me wait too long [Oikawa]

Oikawa felt depressed.

It was lunch break, a time to relax and unwind from the stress the students received in class. It was supposed to be, but Oikawa felt miserable and Iwaizumi was the receiving end of his complaints. It was hard to brush him off because he was particularly querulous that day. His desire for a peaceful lunch was in pieces, but Oikawa was persistent despite his threat.

“I can’t believe it.” He muttered and hid his face between his hands. He felt embarrassed and stupid. “How could I not see this coming?” He continued to whine, his head now buried between his folded arms on the cafeteria table. Iwaizumi heard his trouble more often than necessary and knew the reason he felt discouraged without the need to ask him the source.

The situation unveiled itself a long time ago. The story began at their elementary school days. [L/N] [F/N] was a transfer student that came in the middle of their third year. She was distant, expressionless and boring, nobody wanted to become her friend. Oikawa and Iwaizumi never paid much attention to her until the day their academic results were announced. The two boys were diligent in their study; Thus, it was no wonder they were the undisputed top students of their school until that fateful day. The small brunette placed a rank higher than his friend and he was overjoyed, but his excitement died when his eyes read the words printed on the piece of paper on the bulletin board. He was second. Oikawa Tooru was second. Above his name, [L/N] [F/N] was placed. She was first.

She was first, and he was second.

He felt something inside of him snap. The changes occurred little by little and Iwaizumi never noticed until the annual sports festival rolled around. A volleyball match between two classes. If there was one thing Oikawa was proud of, it would be his aptitude for the said physical activity, but his pride tampered with the moment the ball fell behind him. He was shocked, he was devastated but most of all; he was infuriated. She was able to block his attack with ease. He made sure to use all of his strength but her face showed no fatigue, no sort of emotion that let him know that she acknowledged him. It pissed him off. The match came to an end, their team lost. It felt a bitter taste in Iwaizumi, but he enjoyed the match, nonetheless. Oikawa, however, felt the ground shake under his feet. He swore that one day he would make the girl cry and apologize to him, but it never happened.

In middle school, the situation got out of hand. Oikawa remained determined to make her cry, but as a teenager, he wanted to attempt a new approach: He would make her fall in love with him and he would reject her, plain and simple. He smirked at his plan. It was perfect - he thought, but little did he know how wrong he was. He wanted her to be conscious of him, but it was Oikawa Tooru who began to realize that, despite her blunt and dull personality, she was still a girl.

He noticed her annoyance when she was unable to fix her hair properly, her small and soft hands that were incapable of lifting big and heavy objects, her small stature that rendered impossible to reach high places, her eyes that would shine when she saw the few things that she took a liking to. He would never admit it but he always had his eyes on her. Her routine, her mannerisms, her speaking pattern, the small things she disliked and the fewer things that she came to like. He was aware of all.

Iwaizumi wanted to laugh, the whole ordeal was ridiculous - he thought, but he also took pity at his best friend, he never saw him so worked up over a girl. Let alone a girl that never acknowledged him. He continued to listen to him, not attentive as he had to, but he still understood a few words in case Oikawa began to question him, he wanted to relish his meal before their lunch break came to an end.

“She called me this morning, I was so thrilled! It was the first time she called me by her own initiative and asked me if we could see each other after class, I was so enthusiastic that I never considered the motive behind her request.” He groaned and buried his face even more in shame and exasperation “She wanted to personally introduce me to a classmate of hers!” His voice close to a scream, frustration coursing through his system. He wanted to cry, he honestly wanted to although he wanted to laugh as well, how pathetic he felt to continue to chase his unrequited love.

“Iwaizumi. Oikawa.”

The sound of a familiar voice caused them to stare at the girl who stood in front of their table although they already knew the owner of such a monotonous tone.

[L/N] sat next to Iwaizumi and in front of Oikawa, her bag placed on the floor and the book she carried on the table. The ace noticed that she began to read the book instead of eating and asked her about it, therefore initiating small talk with the girl. It was a wonder how Iwaizumi was congenial towards her while Oikawa always felt a sense of rivalry between them. The two began to talk in frivolous fashion, little things that had no importance but neither of them cared much for details.

Oikawa remained silent however, he had another matter in hand. He leaned his chin on his hand and observed the girl in front of him: her [h/c] hair that was like silk, her [e/c] that showed no emotions but little did people know how much brighter they became when she saw a thing or two she liked, like a child that found their present under the Christmas tree. The way she talked in a nonchalant way, her straightforward words that were never filtered. She was kind and gentle, in her own little way, anyway.

A lost strand of hair that fell on her delicate features pulled him out of his thoughts. Unconsciously, he reached out his hand and tuck the said piece of hair behind her ear, much to her confusion. He noticed how soft her skin was to touch, her body temperature that was comforting. The lock once again fell and instead of putting it into place, he took it between his fingers, a gentle kiss on her soft and perfect hair. It had a sweet scent - he thought to himself.

“Oikawa?” She stared at Oikawa, in the thought of what the boy might be doing. It took no more than a second for Oikawa to realize what happened. He immediately retracted his hand and shoved it in his pocket. A heavy blush on his face and all he wanted to do was scold himself in shame. He gave her a meek glance, but what he saw made him feel worse. Her face void of emotions and it made him feel irritated. If she was any other girl, her face would have already exploded in embarrassment from being touched by him so why? Why was she not reacting to him at all? Maybe it was for that very reason that she was not like any other that he fell for her, hard.

Oikawa felt like he was pushed to his limit. He almost had enough of it. Almost. He had to leave, he was afraid of what he might do if he was to stay any longer in front of her.

The girl was left dumbfounded, but for Iwaizumi an explanation was never necessary. For a decade, he watched their relationship change through time. Oikawa, from rival to love interest but he was not on his own. He was trapped in his secluded world of competition, affection but at the same time denial, and he never noticed her soft gaze whenever she looked at him, her brief smile and her quiet laughter when he started to act childish. He missed all of that, but Iwaizumi was a witness. It happened once in the middle of their conversation; She told him how comfortable she felt around him, how he made her feel safe and how she wanted to be by his side. Iwaizumi was by no means an expert when it came to matters related to love and relationship, but it took him little time to figure out that, for a person of high intelligence, she was very dense. It honestly made him laugh, but he also found annoyance in the whole ordeal. Oikawa was in denial of his feelings for her, but little did he know how she felt. On the other hand, she was oblivious to her own feelings.

The ace thought that it was time to give the two a push.

In the school hallway, Oikawa walked in silence. There were many whispers from the female students, admiring from afar, but he paid no heed to them. He was busy with his own thoughts to notice. He continued to walk with no destination in mind, his hands in his pockets and a frown displayed on his lips. It was outrageous. For someone of his caliber to be incapable of making a girl fall in love with him despite his numerous attempts. His sister, upon learning about his situation, laughed and mocked him. He had many girlfriends ever since his first encounter with his love interest. There were small, cute and very feminine, they were indeed his type of girl and there was [L/N] [F/N].

“I am such an idiot… " he told himself and sighed. He became lost in his thoughts that he failed to notice the presence of a group of girls before him.

“Oikawa san, hello!” They greeted with a bright smile. The boy managed a smile, and he began to converse with them. It felt nice to have people compliment him, to have people fawn over him, to stare in awe when he walked past, to feel warm and fuzzy in his presence. This was the life he wanted, the life he should live. He should forget about his problem, it was for the best.

“Oikawa!” The brunette felt a hand pull his school jacket from behind. He turned around and saw none other than the reason for his own misery. He saw her flushed face, her erratic breathing and her hair disheveled. To say that he was shocked was an understatement, but a blush was inevitable. He wanted to punch himself at the inappropriate image that passed through his mind. Why did she have to be so cute - he wondered. He clenched his fist and bit his bottom lip. All was well, he felt better surrounded by people who acknowledged him but her mere presence prevented him from erasing his feelings.

A minute went by but she continued to hold his jacket in her hand, she looked up at Oikawa, right into his eyes and the boy was mesmerized at the newfound emotion that she conveyed by her mere gaze, the emotionless eyes he always saw no more and instead were filled with determination and unknown sentiment that it was hard for him to detect.

A decade ever since their first encounter, he thought he was able to move on from her, from all the times she denied him despite her unawareness, from all of his failed effort to make her notice him but there he was, he was smitten. His crazy heartbeat, the nostalgic butterflies in his stomach, the warmth of his cheeks. Gosh, this girl was the sole person able to make a mess out of him and he never understood how.

They were outside of the school building, in a small corner in front of the football field, no students roamed during those hours. Oikawa pulled [L/N] away from the crowd that formed around them, after a little stunt like such, he felt the need to be alone with her despite not much thought about his hasty decision.

A little trail of sweat rushed on the side of her temple, it was a little difficult for her to follow Oikawa. He was so much taller than he was when they were small and his body was far more developed compared to his small frame from their elementary years, she blushed at the thought of how much he changed from the boy who used to cry when he lost, the little boy who got frustrated at every turn, the one who always looked at her with anger in his eyes.

There he was, Oikawa Tooru, his last year of high school, the captain of the volleyball team, there was no more comparison to who he was, but at the same time, he had always been the boy she knew ever since her transfer. She had known him for a decade, but she never noticed how he was in truth.

The boy stared at her, he saw her red face, but in his thoughts, he told himself that it was due to the fact that they ran at a fast pace. He already gave up on her feeling anything for him, or so that was what he wanted. The stare she gave him, he wanted to believe even for little more that he was wrong and she indeed felt something.

She wanted to speak but Oikawa placed an arm above her head, on the hard wall behind her. He leaned close to her face, his thoughts were in chaos and all because of his feelings for one girl. He pitied himself, hundreds of girls fawning over him and he had to fall in love with the one that never saw him as a man.

“[F/N] chan...” he said, a hidden despair in his husky voice “You really are cruel.” He failed to take note of how close their faces were. The said girl was in a tight trap, she began to feel uncomfortable under his stare and presence but she also felt her cheeks warmer than before. Although she felt nervous and felt herself tremble, she did not feel the need to flee or push him away.

“T... Tooru...” she whimpered and backed herself more against the wall. Oikawa stared at her in bewilderment, he must be in a dream. “Tooru, too close.” Again, she spoke his name. She was not the first to call him by his name though the way his name rolled from her tongue was perfect. That moment he began to be aware of their small distance. Damn, if she continued like this he might not be able to restrain himself. He still remained close, he had to wonder why she remained still and why had she not push him away? Did she still not feel anything? Not even a shred of embarrassment? Oikawa was honestly oblivious to her emotions. He was too focused on the history of their relationship to consider the change.

“A whole decade, a whole damn decade I chased after you and you always neglected me. Now, you look at me with those eyes and call me by my name? How long do you still plan on toying with my heart?!” he almost flinched when he heard himself raise his voice at her, he disliked it but he wanted to pour out all of his overflowing concealed emotions. "[F/N], how can you not understand how much I love you and you still treat me like this?!”

She felt the world come to a halt. Oikawa was in love with her. He really was in love with her. In the brief conversation she shared with Iwaizumi in the absence of the brunette, he revealed how Oikawa felt towards her despite his aggressive nature when they were little. She found it hard to believe, but the black-haired ace insisted to look for Oikawa to confirm his words and there he was, confessing.

Silence. Oikawa waited for her to talk or at least a sign, but she was silent. He began to feel embarrassment and frustration in his chest, he was about to pull away but she felt her shift under him. He was incredulous of what his eyes saw: [L/N] was covering her mouth, her furrowed brows, her burning cheeks. He continued to stare at her in anticipation and the girl felt herself melt. He thought he saw enough but she still had something left to say.

“Tooru, you idiot... Stop staring at me like that…”

Oikawa Tooru almost died at the spot. It happened all at the same time, all so fast and it was bad for his heart. He needed time to calm himself but how was it possible when [L/N] [F/N], his love interest for the past decade, blushing and embarrassed right in front of him.

"Hey, [F/N] chan… Can I?" He asked as he leaned in, his lips almost on hers. The girl in question only placed her hands on his shoulders, her half-lidded eyes, she felt lightheaded about the events that occurred in the past minutes but all she was certain of was that she trusted Oikawa. She nodded in silence and waited for him to close the space between them.

"You made me wait for too long."

#oikawa angst #oikawa tooru #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #hq oikawa #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu x reader

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megalony · 4 years

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Teacher’s Pet- Part 12

I hope you all like the next part in my dad! Ben Hardy series, thank you all for the amazing feedback so far and I have a lot planned for you all.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @im-an-adult-ish @gwilymleeisbae @k-k0129 @haileymorelikestupid @glittrixvibe

Series masterlist

Summary: Gwilym sets Ben up on a date with (Y/n) who teaches at the school Ben’s kids go to. But Ben is hesitant in the relationship, desperate not to make the same mistakes and needing to put his kids first.

Enjoy.

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"Will you pick me up in the morning?"

Ben tilted his head down with narrowed eyes and a small smile as he looked at James who was clinging to his legs like a baby monkey. Today was the first time in nearly three months that James was going to be staying overnight with his mum and it was the first time in two months he would actually be seeing her. But the way James spoke made it clear he seemed worried about something and that made Ben uneasy, he didn't like any of his boys being worried.

"I thought your mum was dropping you off sometime tomorrow? Don't you want to spend the way with her tomorrow too?" Leaning down, Ben hooked his hands under James' arms and picked him up so he could sit him on the kitchen counter in front of him.

"But we always play football on Sunday." The way James looked between his hands and Ben's eyes showed there was something on his mind and it wasn't just because of playing football. Ben turned his head to look at (Y/n) over his shoulder who put her drink down before making her way over to them. She leaned against Ben's side with her hand on his arm and she reached over to rub James' shoulder to try and calm him down when he looked slightly panicked.

"Honey, are you worried because you haven't seen your mum in a while?" (Y/n) couldn't help but wonder if James was getting anxious because he hadn't been around his mum in over two months now. He was in a routine with Ben and his mum was going to shake that up and she knew from experience that when children got used to living with one parent, being with the other made them feel unsettled.

Ellie might not know what James preferred to eat or what he liked to do, when he went to bed, what he liked to watch or where he liked to go. If she guessed with everything or did something that made James uneasy or something he didn't like it would make him desperate for Ben to take him home. Then he would be even less likely to want to go out with his mum. He was always desperate for her to make the effort and be in his life and actually want him around but the longer she left it, the less he actually wanted to go.

"Buddy, talk to us. Don't you want to go out to your mum today?"

"I... I don't like staying over at mums house. I like my room here at home and I like what you and (Y/n) cook and I want to go out with you tomorrow, not mum... a-and Carter calls you mum and I want to do that too but then my mum will be mad at me."

As James started talking faster tears started to fall from his eyes and he tried his best to hold back a sob. He didn't want to tell his mum that he didn't like staying with her because she made him feel awkward, nor did he want to tell her that he wanted to call (Y/n) his mum just like Carter did. He didn't want to hurt her feelings or upset her in case she got mad with him and decided not to come and visit him any more when she barely visited him as it was.

"Oh buddy, hey it's okay, it's alright." Ben wrapped his arms around James' waist and gently scooped James up and set him on his chest.

"James, honey, it's okay if you don't want to stay over with your mum, no one said you had to. If you want to stay home she'll understand she won't be mad at you for that and if you really do want to call me mum, then you can and just call me by my name if your mum is around so we don't upset her."

"She'll be mad at me."

James buried his face in the crook of Ben's neck and it made Ben shiver to feel his boy crying into his neck. He hated when any of the boys cried but knowing James was crying because of Ellie made Ben feel so much worse. He was used to Carter crying and screaming because he could no longer see Jamie, he was used to Finn having nightmares and being in fear of ever seeing Lucy again. But with James Ben had been praying that it would be different, he wanted James to be able to see his mum and have one of his boys with a good relationship with his mum.

But James barely got to see Ellie anymore and as much as he didn't think on it too much, when he did get to see her he overthought everything now because it was unsettling for him.

The only good thing about all of this was that (Y/n) was here and she was providing all the boys with a mother figure and a sense of stability and a routine that they all needed.

"She won't be mad at you buddy because when she comes to pick you up, I'm gonna tell her that she needs to bring you home tonight because we're going out early tomorrow so you need to come home. Your mum won't know you don't want to stay I promise, she won't be mad at you and you can sleep in your own bed tonight and come out with us tomorrow. It's all okay you don't have to be upset."

Ben knew Ellie well enough to know that she wouldn't be too disappointed if she couldn't have James stay with her tonight. It wasn't as if they had scheduled visits anyway, she came to pick James up whenever she had the time off or whenever she could be bothered. If she complained Ben could simply remind her she couldn't make the rules when she couldn't stick to looking after her son more than once every three months.

If James was too scared to ask to come home Ben would tell Ellie she had to bring him home and make out that it was Ben's idea and therefore his fault so James didn't get unsettled.

"No more tears honey, you'll be home for tea time and we don't want your mum to see any tears, do we?" (Y/n) brushed her finger over James' cheek to wipe away the tears when he lifted his head to look over at her. Ellie would be here in a few minutes to come and get James, they didn't need her wondering if he was okay and what was wrong.

(Y/n) handed James his cup of juice to try and help him calm down before all their heads turned in the direction of the hall when the doorbell sounded.

"Come on, let's go see her." Ben set James down to his feet and moved to follow him into the hall.

"You're gonna answer the door in your boxers?"

"Yeah, why? She won't be coming inside and it's not like none of you have seen me like this before." Ben looked down at his limited attire with a smile before he moved towards the door again as James sat on the stairs to put on his shoes. Ben was only wearing his boxers but it wasn't as if Ellie would be coming in the house, she never did she waited on the doorstep for James and she had seen him answer the door like this hundreds of times before. All the boys were used to Ben wandering the house like this.

When (Y/n) moved to try and go upstairs Ben hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her back, knowing why she was trying to run off.

"I'm in my pyjamas."

"Yeah, you look sexy. Don't try and sneak upstairs so she won't see you, James talks about you all the time you don't have to hide away or feel awkward. Your more his mum than she is, don't be ashamed of that."

Ben knew (Y/n) didn't want to be around right now because she had never met Ellie before and she didn't want to. From what (Y/n) had picked up on and what she had heard, Ellie wasn't going to win a mother's award anytime soon and that annoyed (Y/n). But she didn't want to be in an awkward situation if James did talk about her a lot and she made Ellie feel annoyed or threatened or Ellie became snarky or something like that.

(Y/n) wasn't actually James' mother and he was the only boy with his mum actually hanging around right now, (Y/n) didn't want to step on Ellie's toes and push her away when she was the only mother giving a shit in the boy's lives. James had a mother, (Y/n) couldn't wade in and be his substitute mother if he didn't need one like Carter and Finn did.

"Hi mummy."

(Y/n) didn't know what she was expecting when Ben opened the front door to reveal Ellie, but the person she was faced with wasn't exactly the person (Y/n) thought she had been expecting. Ben talked about Jamie when he tried to explain Carter's childhood and how Jamie had affected him by not being there, he didn't talk about Lucy at all. But when he talked about Ellie, the impression (Y/n) got was a business woman, someone who took pride in their job so much that the job came first before her only child.

She went away for conferences and meetings, she worked late, she didn't use her days off to see James and she barely called him because she was 'always busy.'

Ellie was the kind of mother who only became concerned and interested in her son's life when she thought that he might be in danger of being hurt such as with Lucy. Other than that, any achievements James made at school or anything he did socially wasn't of much concern to Ellie.

It made (Y/n) wonder why she even had James in the first place if the best she could do for her son was to give birth to him.

The image (Y/n) had in her mind was a tall woman in her late twenties or maybe early thirties with broad shoulders and long dark brown hair and piercing eyes. She thought of a woman who wore heels even though she was tall and who wore business suits (which Ben had said she did wear to conferences).

Ellie was nothing like (Y/n) had pictured her to be. She was a short woman, barely reaching five foot one at a push. She had very long natural blonde hair that swept down past her shoulders in long curls and she had pale blue eyes that weren't very captivating or shining. Her nose was small but curved at the end in a funny fashion, she had small shoulders an a generally small frame which made (Y/n) look at Ben for a moment. If Ellie and Ben were stood side by side they would look rather odd with how tall and broad framed Ben was and how petite and compact Ellie looked.

James took after Ben in almost every aspect, he had Ben's eyes, his hair and the shape of his face. He had Ben's height because he was already creeping up to match Ellie's height but he did have her slim shoulders but in every other way he was Ben's child and didn't look like he resembled Ellie at all.

Ellie wore very small converse that showed how small she was and how small her feet were. She had leggings on that were a bit too long for her short legs and she was wearing a white baggy t-shirt with red writing across the centre. (Y/n) had been expecting her to wear jeans or a jumpsuit or just something that showed she was a business woman but she was dressing rather casually and it didn't fit (Y/n)'s image of her at all.

"Hey champ, you ready to go?" Ellie's voice was loud and strong, contrasting to the petite image she gave off.

"Can you bring him back tonight please, we're off out early tomorrow so I need him home tonight." Ben rubbed his hand over James' back to try and keep him calm and show him that Ellie wouldn't be mad or upset with him for this.

"Oh, yeah sure I'll have him back by seven. How's Carter by the way?" Ben's words clearly confused and annoyed Ellie, her expression looked deflated and she held back a sigh at the change of plans but she wasn't going to complain. All three adults knew she was in no position to quarrel about this when she barely made an appearance in James' life so far.

"He's doing really good, he's asleep at the moment."

"Asleep? Wow, he is doing good if he's sleeping. I assume your (Y/n) who James keeps telling me about?"

A look of surprise flooded Ellie's face at the notion that it was eight in the morning and Carter wasn't bouncing around the house, he was actually asleep for once this late into the morning when he was usually up all night. When her eyes floated over to look at (Y/n) she smiled warmly which made (Y/n) hopeful that there would be no bad blood between them. After all, she had seen Ben get into another relationship and have another child with someone else so seeing him in a different relationship again wouldn't be anything for her to be angry about.

"I am, it's nice to meet you." Something inside (Y/n) told her that it wasn't that nice to meet Ellie because it had taken this long for them to meet and for Ellie to actually want James to come round. If she was more of a mother or a stable figure for James then (Y/n) would have been happier to meet her because James wouldn't be as panicked as he was earlier or desperate to call (Y/n) mum instead of Ellie.

"And you. Come on champ, we'd better head off."

"See you tomorrow buddy." A soft smile formed on Ben's lips as he brushed his fingers through James' hair to ruffle it up causing James to shake his head with a giggle. He pulled away from Ben, briefly darting his eyes over to (Y/n) and he smiled brightly before he headed out the house knowing he was going to be back home later where he felt most safe.

"She doesn't even come up to your shoulder." (Y/n) commented quietly and slowly tilted her head to look at Ben whose brows shot up and he smothered a smile.

"Not even when she wears heels. Aren't you glad James takes after me?" It was a trivial thing to think about but Ben did think about James taking after him in his height and sometimes in his looks. If James took after Ellie then it meant Ben would be tall, Carter would be tall because he was Ben's double and Finn was undoubtedly going to be tall too since Lucy was Ben's height as well. If James was under five foot like Ellie it would be a bit weird with the boys growing up.

(Y/n) bit the corner of her lip to stop herself from smirking before she moved to head upstairs. It was still early but she wanted to get dressed and ready for the day.

A gasp left (Y/n)'s lips when she moved to head to the bedroom but got stopped by Ben's arm hooking around her waist and pulling her back to his chest. She froze for a moment, smiling despite the confusion of wondering what he was doing and she leaned her head back on his shoulder to look up at him. The soft smile on his lips and the certain look in his eyes both melted her heart and made her unsure what was going through his mind right now.

"What?"

"Let's do the test now."

"Now? W-why now?" (Y/n) couldn't hear her own voice but she could hear the deafening sound of her heart thumping erratically against her ribs to the point it felt like the organ was going to combust in her chest.

For this past week the subject of doing a pregnancy test had come and gone frequently but it never happened. (Y/n) herself was nervous to find out the results but she knew Ben was even more so. He didn't want to be in a bad or stressed mood and do the test in case it affected how he reacted because that wouldn't be fair on (Y/n).

Not knowing seemed easy at the moment because he could forget that it was a looming problem just for a while. But when it did play on his mind it never left. If they were having a baby Ben didn't want it to turn out like it had the last three times, he wanted just for once, to have a baby with someone he loved and have it work out. For them both to love their child and not have the relationship break down and shatter into fragments Ben could never piece back together again. He wanted it to work and to be right and have no issues whatsoever.

And he knew if they weren't having a baby the subject of kids in the future would be confusing and taboo because of how he had reacted at the mere thought of a possible pregnancy.

"Right now because each time I've sat through a pregnancy test I've been scared to shit. I knew Jamie wouldn't cope with a baby but she wanted to go ahead with it and that turned out bad, Ellie was always gonna put work before James and that frightened me. And Lucy seemed too good to be true and they all left me and the boys. But you... you love all of them like they're your sons and you're not unable to cope or scared or putting work first and there isn't a mean streak in you I don't know about. You're perfect to all us boys and I don't want to be scared this time."

Ben and Jamie had been eighteen when they had Carter and Jamie's mental health and always been fluctuating but she mistakenly thought having Carter would help. She could cope with Carter as a baby and toddler but when his needs and problems became apparent she couldn't cope and she left.

Ellie was determined and skilled and as much as she wanted James, he was a distraction that got in her determined path and she couldn't have that. Ben knew from square one that it would be complicated with Ellie and he knew for certain James was the only child she was ever going to have.

Something told Ben when he was with Lucy that she was too good to be true because she was great with James and she tried with Carter even when he was at a bad stage in his attitude and his outbursts. But he was still nervous when she got pregnant because experience told Ben that having a kid didn't work out for him and Finn got the brunt end of fate. None of those times had gone smoothly or been easy for Ben or his boys and he didn't want to repeat that yet again.

But with (Y/n) it was going to be different because she had a connection with the boys, she loved them all and treated them like they were her children. And there was no dark side to (Y/n) that Ben hadn't seen yet. If they were having a baby it would be loved and not hurt or broken or left to be cared for by Ben alone.

"Let's find out."

(Y/n) breathed through her words that made her feel lightheaded because she didn't think this moment was going to be a very happy one to remember.

She watched with fond eyes as Ben peeked into Carter's room to check he was still asleep before he followed her to the bathroom. Finn was still in bed since he was a late riser, Carter went to bed at five this morning so Ben was leaving him until at least twelve so he got some sleep. And now James had gone out so they had the time alone to do this and talk about it before the boys got up and demanded attention.

The waiting wasn't nice.

When (Y/n) used to think about her life and try to plan it all out, she always imagined going to the doctor or holding the test in her hands with her husband waiting to see if they were expecting a baby or not. She never thought about how nervous she would feel sitting on the toilet looking at Ben leaning against the sink as they waited until it was okay to check the results.

The moment Ben checked his watch and silently nodded his head, (Y/n) stayed tense and unmoving until Ben got the hint that she wanted him to do it instead. She was too nervous to look, she wanted to be told the news and she figured the last three times Ben didn't get to check the results first, he got to see after he had been told if they were expecting or not. This could be his moment.

For being anxious about this moment (Y/n) noticed that Ben looked oddly calm, he wasn't tapping his foot like usual or scratching at his neck or arms. He wasn't biting his lip or frowning or raising his brows in surprise and he wasn't letting the result show on his expression. Even when his eyes moved to lock with her own, he wasn't giving anything away.

"We're having a baby."

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"Mum?"

(Y/n) turned her head to the left to look over at Carter and she smiled whilst pressing her finger to her lips, trying to be gentle when asking him to be quiet since he was usually rather loud when he spoke, especially when he was overexcited or angry. Her eyes darted to look over at Finn who was laid between the side of the sofa and Ben, fast asleep with a blanket draped over him. It was best not to wake him right now when it normally took a while to get him to sleep.

"What's up honey?" (Y/n) noticed the way Carter was darting his eyes around, unsure where to look meaning it wasn't anything exciting or something he was happy about. But his expression was placid and neutral so he wasn't unhappy either.

"James is crying, he spewed on the bathroom floor."

(Y/n)'s shoulders deflated and she pursed her lips before turning to look over at Ben with furrowed brows. James had been back home for just less than an hour and he seemed tired but he didn't look ill. And he hadn't eaten anything since being back that would make him sick, nor had Ellie said he had been ill during the day.

"Go back to your game buddy, we'll go see him." Ben slowly uncurled his arm from around Finn before he and (Y/n) hurried upstairs after Carter who wandered back to his room. It wasn't too surprising that Carter didn't react to this quite like he should, if he didn't know how to react or it wasn't something that really bothered him he just seemed like he was in neutral.

The pair of them barely got up the stairs before they saw James hobbling out of the bathroom with his arms around his stomach and his body doubled over like there was a crippling weight on his back. There was almost no colour to his cheeks either, he looked pale to the point of being see-through.

"I- I didn't m-make it to the toilet." It seemed like talking was hard for James who sounded like he was about to throw up again but was trying very hard not to.

"Don't worry about that baby, better out than in. Let's get you in bed and I'll go get you some medicine." (Y/n) reached her arms out for James but the moment she held onto him he shook his head before he slumped down to sit on the floor, curling his knees up to his stomach before a sob left his lips.

"I really think we should get you in bed with the sick bucket." Ben pressed the back of his hand against James' temple for a moment before he wrapped his arms around him to try and calm him down. He didn't have a temperature but he clearly wasn't well at all. When Carter was ill he got grumpy and angry but when James or Finn were sick or unwell they didn't know what to do and broke down in tears if it was bad.

If any of the boys were sick Ben settled them in bed and gave them a plastic bowl they used so the boys didn't have to stumble out to the bathroom if they were really ill. They could just lean over and throw up into the bucket, Ben found it saved a lot of washing and cleaning up the carpets or bathroom.

Ben was just about to wrap James up so he could carry him to bed but he stopped when James tensed and pressed his arms into his stomach that made a worrying gurgling noise.

"James, what have you eaten today?" Ben's words were cautious but his eyes were a darker shade than before and it made (Y/n) worried.

"Fishfingers for d-dinner... biscuits, a-and mum made a funny pie thing w-with a weird name, Ki... something. S-she got me a milkshake but you said I can't have them anymore."

Ben pulled his arms back a little when James groaned before he turned and flopped down so his head was pressed into Ben's legs and he was curled up against him like he wanted to disappear. He rubbed his hand over James' back for a few moments but the look on his face was outrage. When he locked eyes with (Y/n) it was clear that she was on the same page as he was and that made it even worse. (Y/n) remembered that James was lactose intolerant right now but Ellie either didn't remember or didn't care and Ben didn't know which was worse.

"Did she make a quiche?"

"Hmm." James nodded into Ben's legs, knowing the name of whatever he had eaten had been a funny one he couldn't say or remember.

"That's got cheese and a lot of milk in it buddy, you can't have dairy stuff like that it makes you sick. Come on, I'm gonna take you to bed and get you some Calpol." Ben's jaw clenched but he tried to stay calm as he picked James up because he didn't want James thinking he was mad at him because he wasn't.

James didn't know what quiche was, Ben had never made it or given it to him and when he found out James was lactose intolerant Ben cut out all dairy stuff from his diet. A little bit of milk now and then was okay but James had it bad and it really messed with his stomach. What made it worse was that there was no specific medication for this, Ben just had to give him Calpol for stomach ache and sometimes paracetamol if it was really bad. James just had to wait it out until it went away and that made Ben hurt.

But he had told Ellie time and time again that James couldn't have anything with dairy in, not even a small slice of quiche because it would still upset his stomach. James loved milkshakes but Ben had to say no because it was only going to make him sick.

The moment James was tucked up in bed and Ben left the room (Y/n) could see his face of thunder.

"I told her when I took him to the doctors that he couldn't have dairy and she didn't fucking listen and now he's crying." Ben knew it wasn't something as bad as an allergy or James having a medical condition but it was still something serious for him. It gave him horrible stomach cramps, it made him sick and it upset him to be hurting like this. That was pretty damn important to Ben that James didn't have to go through this and Ellie should have listened and took more notice of what Ben was saying.

"You did say that James wasn't her top priority..." (Y/n) didn't know what she was supposed to say to that because Ben was right and it wasn't okay to do this to James. It was bad enough he didn't feel okay around her but to make him ill like this was even worse.

"What if he was allergic to anything and she didn't listen? I'm calling her first thing tomorrow, if she wants to see him again she has to make a fucking effort and actually take care of him."

Ben ran his fingers through his hair but stopped tugging at his hair when (Y/n) curled her arms around his waist and looked up at him with a soft smile.

"I agree, but she isn't around that much anyway and he wants to be home with you because he knows you take care of him and you know what he needs and what he likes."

"But she's meant to be his mum-"

"It's a good job he sees me as a mother then, isn't it?"

#ben hardy #ben x reader #dad! ben #ben hardy imagine #imagine #BoRhap #gwilym lee #gwilym imagine #teachers pet

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laceymorganwrites · 4 years

Text

Filth alphabet: Atsumu

A=Aftercare

He gets super clingy after sex. You´ll have to do most of the aftercare work, but he´ll prepare snacks and water.

The time after sex is the one where he´ll open up to you in a relationship, he´ll tell you about his hopes and dreams, his fears, his insecurities and so on.

B=Body part

He seems super arrogant and he certainly is in some ways, he knows he´s handsome but never put too much thought into it.

He likes his hands though because of volleyball, he also likes holding your hands and touching you with his.

On you he loves your legs and thighs the most, he just loves how soft they are and will not hesitate to make them his pillow.

C=Cum

Atsumu cums quite a lot and loves to cum on your legs and chest and stomach and honestly all over you.

There´s just something satisfying to him about seeing you covered in it.

D=Dirty secret

Wants to have mirror sex with you, but is afraid that he won´t be able to cum looking at himself. And he´d think it´s weird if he does, he´s looking at himself after all.

E=Experience

If you were high school sweethearts, you would´ve been his first.

Later on he has a lot of one night stands to relieve stress, but he doesn´t gain much experience from it since he´s very selfish in those times.

F=Favorite position

Goes absolutely feral when you ride him, just... the way your legs wrap so wonderfully around him and he has the greatest view, loves to grab onto your waist as well.

G=Goofy

It really depends on the situation. If he wins a game and you fuck afterwards, he´ll definitely be all giggly and excited, it´s really cute.

If he had a bad day, he´ll need either rough sex or slow and comforting one with lots of touching and praise, in those times he´ll be serious.

But overall, he likes it when you can talk and laugh during sex, it´s so much more chill and he thinks that you´re inseperable, at this point in your relationship he really always is reminded that you´re the only one for him and he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

H=Hair

He shaves it all off since it annoys him to no end.

I=Intimacy

Again, depends entirely on the mood. But overall he will always be intimate and romantic with you, no matter how rough the sex is, because you´re his S/O and he wants you to know that you´re loved so much.

Also I´m throwing a little headcanon in here because it fits:

I think that Atsumu catches feelings super quick and will never be able to have distant sex, he will always feel something even though he knows that one night stands and flings mean nothing and his partners want nothing more from him.

J=Jerk off

He is a master at it, it´s not funny anymore. He was super addicted to masturbating in his teenage years and did it anytime and anywhere he could, public bathrooms, in his grandparent´s bathroom while the rest of the family is eating dinner, you name it.

Has done it in some risky places and had to learn to cum really quick before he gets caught (has been caught too many times)

This goes so far that he can be hard by will to a certain extent.

He tones it down a bit once he´s in a relationship, but never fully stops.

Mutual masturbation is a huge turn on for him, please tell him exactly how to touch himself while you touch yourself, he loves that shit.

K=Kinks

Everyone thinks he´s super kinky but I honestly don´t think so. He certainly has some, but things like BDSM are too much work for him, he just wants to have fun, doesn´t want to work too much for it.

That said, he totally has a sir kink, overall voice kink, dirty talk is up his alley (he himself is shit at it, but whisper sweet nothings in his ear and he´ll be putty in your hands), idk where else to put this but he´s a total power bottom. Clothed sex is also great for him, so is face sitting because he loves feeling your thighs up close.

L=Location

Anywhere at any time. He thinks because he gets away with masturbating everywhere that this translates to sex as well, but boy is he wrong. Doesn´t do it in too public places anymore and especially not in the gym (Bokuto once caught you and Atsumu had cleaning duty for a month so that he wouldn´t rat him out to Sakusa who´d have an even worse punishment for him).

Is really into shower sex for some reason, also on any kind of counter, couch sex too.

M=Motivation

The classic revealing clothing, the way you say his name, making you laugh (yep, he once told you something dumb that happened to him in training and you were laughing so hard he popped a boner), you wearing his clothes.

N=No

Pain play, degregation and most importantly: don´t call him daddy, his fangirls call him that and it makes him uncomfortable.

O=Oral

He´s soooo good at it, could do it for hours honestly. Doesn´t do anything special really, but it just works?? Loves gripping onto your legs while he´s at it, looks up to you all the time and fuck you can just feel his smirk...

He likes receiving just as much and always makes sure it´s equally enjoyed. Gets so weak when you offer it first, will be so obedient. He still blushes madly when you swallow his cum.

P=Pace

Really depending on the mood, he likes to work up the pace though.

Sometimes he´s really in the mood for slow sex though (especially in the morning or in the night when he comes home to you or you both can´t sleep)

And sometimes he just really wants to fuck your brains out, or his to be fucked out.

Q=Quickie

I mean he´s always ready to go and if you ask for it, he´ll happily oblige. Mostly happens before training, during breaks etc. He doesn´t have that much time anyway, so you´ll most likely often have quickies.

R=Risk

Is always down to try new things as long as they aren´t too complicated.

S=Stamina

He can go all day every day! Has way too much stamina, most of the times you have to tell him to stop when it gets too much. Your sessions therefore also last very long when you have time. It´s really hard to tire him out.

T=Toys

If you really insist on it, he won´t say no of course, but honestly he doesn´t see the point in it. And he´s too impatient and lazy for them.

U=Unfair

He can be quite the tease sometimes, but only in a healthy amount. Would never tease you an unbearing amount, never to a point where it gets annoying and only if you´re okay with it.

On the other hand he likes to be teased and put in his place.

V=Volume

Tries to muffle his sounds as much as possible, he doesn´t like the way he sounds at all, it´s a weird mix of high pitched moans and gutteral grunts, he also hates the way he looks when he cums, so really, he tries to cover all of that up.

It takes him a long time to be comfortable enough around you to just let go and you have to reassure him a lot that you don´t mind, that he´s pretty, that nobody´s perfect looking during sex.

W=Wildcard

Atsumu and you have a list of places where you want to have sex. Osamu´s shop and his place are on top of it because Atsumu just loves annoying his brother.

X=X-Ray

He´s a little above average, really girthy and veiny and a bit more on the thicker side (is always really careful when you two have sex, it´s cute)

Y=Yearning

His libido is super high, he could do it anytime, he doesn´t get sexually frustrated or horny to a point where it hurts, but he´s always ready to go.

Z=Zzz

Sleeps like a baby after sex, especially cuddled up to you.

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu atsumu #atsumu miya #atsumu x reader #hq #hq imagine #hq headcanons #hq hcs #hq atsumu

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gwoongi · 5 years

Text

acts of love

bts / reader, all members / reader genre: best friends au, fluff + crack rating: general words: 9.6k warnings: platonic relationships, smoking, so much fluff you might need to book an appointment with ur dentist for tomorrow morning ASAP a/n: if u want 2 be bts’ best friend, raise ur hand *thousands of hands raise*. this fic fuels my genuine need to be their bff. i saw this post last night + wrote this immediately. hope u love it like i do :D

➸ As long as you’ve got a good group of friends, anything is possible. Thankfully, you’ve got the best group you could ever ask for.

(01) taking pics of ur friends without them asking u to bc they looked so pretty in that exact moment

“Well, at least the views not so bad. Honestly, I thought it would be a lot worse.”

Beside you, at the top of the bleachers that surround the large football pitch below, Taehyung huffs and kicks his feet up onto the empty row in front of him. It would be easy to just move rows, considering the game’s due to start in ten minutes time, and there’s plenty of empty seats closer. But, he’s bought these seats, and by the looks of things, Yoongi and Hoseok are already comfortable where they are, sharing a big bag of sticky popcorn between them. Casting a look to the right, you notice that Sana and Seunghee are making their way up, dressed in jerseys and caps, and you suddenly feel very out of place.

“Tell me why I came again?” you ask, not looking away from the pitch below. The grass is bright green, and every wandering body down on the pitch is just a small speck.

“Because,” Taehyung starts, unlocking his phone and checking his messages. You snoop- one missed text from Jeongguk and two off his Mom, which makes you smile. Taehyung’s always been a Mommy’s boy. “You love me, and you know that I worked my ass off for two whole months saving up for these tickets. And, since Jimin’s sick and couldn’t come, you decided to be a good friend and take his place.”

With a frown, you look back towards Taehyung. “I don’t know shit about football.”

“Cheer when we do,” Taehyung suggests honestly.

Yoongi perks up, patting your arm roughly. “Do what I do, and cheer for the team with the prettier uniform.”

“Don’t!” Taehyung hisses, grabbing you back. “The other team have a prettier uniform, but if you cheer for them on this side of the stadium, you’re going to get mobbed. Hey, Yoongi, don’t tell her that, she doesn’t know any better.”

“Just football,” Yoongi shrugs.

“Just football…” Taehyung scoffs and shrinks back down in his seat.

You laugh quietly, petting Taehyung’s leg with faux sympathy. As you move your body to glance around the stadium, strangely anticipating the start of the match, a flash out the corner of your eye makes you look over in Hoseok’s general direction. Hoseok holds his phone up, taking a photo, and then smiles as he checks it on the screen.

“Jung Hoseok, delete it now!” you gape, realising what he’s done. “Oh my God, I bet I look so ugly...you could have warned me.”

“Sorry,” he laughs sheepishly. He then shows you the screen, “you looked pretty! And it’s your first live match ever, we had to document it. Yoongi, look. Wow...I’m sending this to Jimin for proof that you’re having fun.”

“What if I’m not having fun?” you ask.

He glances up, “you are.”

Well. If he says so.

(02) randomly giving tiny gifts (a comic book that ur friend likes, a heart-shaped piece of paper with a sweet message on it)

“Can anybody here share the exact chemistry behind Elephant Toothpaste?”

Chemistry is the absolute bane of your life. It’s only been a few weeks, and you’re already regretting taking additional classes in it. Technically, it was Jimin’s fault you were here in the first place. If it wasn’t for the fact that Jimin was afraid of enrolling into classes alone and therefore had guilted you into taking advanced chemistry with him, then you wouldn’t be here. You sigh for the fourth time in the last ten minutes and shove your chin into the palm of your hand. The clock above Professor Han’s head seems to be still, taunting you with zero movements.

Can boredom kill you? You wonder about that, letting your mind wander as Professor Han continues to quiz the front two rows on the exact chemical formula of the affectionately named Elephant Toothpaste. You’re so close to finding the answer when you feel somebody poking your upper arm. The finger that pokes belongs to Jimin, and you angle your head to look at him with a questioning glare.

Jimin smiles, his hair falling into his face. Like you, he rolled out of bed this morning and tried his best to look semi-presentable; if you counted borderline pajama wear and a serious case of bed-head to be presentable and acceptable for a 9am lecture. Jimin says nothing, just smiles and pushes something towards you with two fingers. The sound of the paper sliding towards you brings your gaze down, and as you look away to stare at it, Jimin returns his attention to Professor Han. Bare in mind, his notebook is empty, save doodles of Yewon on the front row, occasionally losing focus and staring around the room for long periods of time.

What Jimin has pushed before you is a small little piece of paper, smoothly cut into a heart shape. Now the sound of scissors makes sense… It’s just scrap paper from the back of his notebook, decorated with tiny stars and circles, a pathetic hand drawn galaxy on the front like a book cover. You slowly pick it up, more interested in this than the lecture. You turn it over curiously, your heart thumping endearingly and a smile picking up on your face as you read what he’s written on the back.

you and me have some serious chemistry. love u

Jimin refuses to make eye contact again. He’ll say something along the lines of, “you’re taking it too seriously” when you’ll no doubt ask him about it later, but really, Jimin’s just a softie, with the sudden need to tell his friends that he loves them. You’re not complaining.

(03) handwritten letters with cute stickers

Something’s been left in your shared kitchen, something with your name on it and closed in an envelope with a small Gudetama sticker. You set your cup of tea to the side, sliding up onto a stool near the breakfast bar to read it. The front is in a bold font, in handwriting you don’t really recognise. Careful of the time and effort put into the appearance, you carefully open the envelope and take out the contents.

Y/N

Good morning. I hope you slept okay - when I came home last night after judo, you were actually passed out on the couch in the common room so I piggy backed you up to your room. Hehe, your room is so dirty though...I think I definitely tripped over a plug that connected your fairylights, so sorry if that doesn’t work anymore. Anyway. I left this morning and left you some nice tea and some tablets (Yoongi said that I should put them in your bathroom, so I literally just left them on your sink). I know you haven’t been having a fun time with midterms and you need to take care of yourself! If you get too sick and can’t do anything, then how will we eat?? You’re our uni mom!!! We need to live too!!!!! D:

I also rented out Harry Potter for later. I know you get really sad and lonely when you’re stressed out, and so we can watch it together when I’m home after my shift at work :D

Hehe, feel better <3 Just remember that Jeonggukie loves you!!!

Drink tea and stay warm :)

Lots of love, Jeongguk :D

The paper is signed with Jeongguk’s messy handwriting, like he ran out of time as he was writing it. The page is littered with tiny Gudetama stickers and the sight of it makes you smile. Along with other little notes Jeongguk’s left for you over the last few months, this one earns a spot on your cork board above your desk.

(04) remembering what ur friend likes or dislikes

You were so late.

Almost getting run over by a bus in the process, you sprint across the small road that separates your flat and the University central campus, missing a deep puddle as you step up off the road and onto the pavement. It pours, your hair soaked and makeup no doubt running and staining your cheeks. Holy fuck, you were so late.

Every Friday, without fail, Flat 6 (aka the large and slightly stinky flat you share with two of your best friends) host an annual movie night, inviting literally all of your extended friendship group which definitely is not allowed, but who cares? You noticed Namjoon’s car pulled up in the car park next door and curse again, knowing you’re the last one to arrive to a movie night you’re technically hosting.

You rush up the stairs, since the elevator is still down for maintenance, and burst into the flat with an announcing groan. From somewhere in the living room, Jeongguk looks up with happy surprise and jumps up off the couch, approaching the hall.

“Y/N! You made it.”

You wince, smiling as you hang up your coat to drip dry on the mat near the door. “Yep. I made it. To my own movie night. That I’m technically helping host.”

“No sweat,” Jeongguk shrugs. “It’s okay. Here, I’ll dump your bag in the closet. Get changed, I think Yoongi’s still preparing snacks, anyway.”

“Okay. Thanks, Jeonggukie.”

He gushes, smiling and raising his shoulders cutely. “It’s okay, Y/N.”

Jeongguk swiftly takes your bag from your clutches, faking the weight with the droop of his knees just to hear you laugh, and then he turns to shuffle down the hall to quite literally toss it into the shared storage closet. You’re not too worried; on days like today, in which you have one 1 hour seminar to attend at 5pm and nothing else, there’s nothing inside your bag worthy of being broken by Jeongguk throwing it to the ground. As he does this, you shudder out of your shoes and make your way to your bedroom, to change into something warm and comfortable for the movie.

The sound of laughter makes you hurry to change, one leg out of your damp and cold jeans whilst simultaneously fishing for some old jogging bottoms out of your bottom draw, a jumper from Yoongi that he thought he lost left for you to grab on your bed. What he doesn’t know and will find out in five minutes won’t hurt him. (Yoongi also doesn’t care, because he’s a whipped best friend who lets you do what you want, including steal clothes he actually needs and can’t really afford to replace. Oh well, sharing is caring!).

Your hair is still soaked, and you move towards the single bathroom squeezed between two bedrooms to ring it out in the sink. Once you’re done, and your hair is thrown up into a scrunchie-decorated pony, you pace back towards the kitchen where, rightly so, Yoongi stands with his back facing you, filling up a glass with Pepsi.

“I thought we threw that shit out,” you announce as you walk in. “You know this flat is Team Coca Cola, those are the rules.”

Yoongi sighs, not looking up. “Yeah, I know, but Namjoon is a monster.”

“He’s so annoying...why can’t he just admit that Coca Cola is better?” you sigh, moving towards Yoongi to see the small bowls of snacks he has ready to be taken into the living room. It’s full in there, people stuffed onto the sofas and the floor where a bed of blankets lies like a mattress.

Yoongi’s outdone himself; the bowls are neatly organised by colour and ingredient, and you smile. Yoongi was a lot of things, one of them a secret perfectionist. Even when it concerned bowls of snacks. God, you love to love him.

“Namjoon’s a man of unpopular opinions, I mean, he really thinks the live action of Attack on Titan is good, like, who actually thinks that?” Yoongi rants, and then he glances to the side towards you, is silent for a moment, and then asks, “is that my jumper?”

You look down at it with a smile. “Yep. It’s comfy.”

Yoongi hums, like he’s bored. “Whatever, looks better on you than it did on me. Who the fuck lied to me and told me dark green was my colour...?”

“Every colour is your colour,” you say, patting his back and reaching for the bowls. “Should I take these in?”

Yoongi then nods, humming again. “Yeah. Yellow bowl is for you, by the way.”

You look to it. “And why is that?”

“Cause I know you don’t like the barbeque flavour chips that are in the red bowl, but everyone else does, so I went out and got you the salty ones. Oh, and there’s a bar of Galaxy in the fridge. Don’t tell Jeongguk, cause he’ll get pissy about how I didn’t get him something.”

As Yoongi tells you this, your heart flutters. You had told him that when you first met, after he offered you some of his chips noticing you were the only person not eating.

“You remembered that?” you wonder, and Yoongi looks at you like you’ve lost your mind.

“I’m a good friend,” he states, as though it were obvious. “Don’t get it twisted, though. I only did it because I don’t want to hear you complaining about it all night.”

You’re sure that’s a lie, but if it makes him feel better, you’ll accept it. You’ll also ignore the embarrassed tinge of red on his cheeks.

(05) inside jokes

[15:16PM] jeongguk: alright fuckers 🔪😡 [15:16PM] jeongguk: who left the kitchen window open all damn night [15:17PM] jeongguk: there’s three spiders in the sink and it rained so the work surface is all wet [15:17PM] jeongguk: [1 Image Attached] not happy bois [15:23PM] jine: i dont even live with you why are you asking the gc this [15:24PM] jeongguk: yoongi has the flat gc muted and idk how else to yell at him [15:28PM] y/n: blame me,,,,i have failed u,,,,,,,im sowwy [15:29PM] jeongguk: hehe its ok ❣️💘💕💓 i’ll clean it up 🥰 [15:32PM] haseul: eye….. [15:39PM] jimin: YALL LMAOODIUGJFKDSLJ [15:39PM] jimin: guess what TF just happened in my maths class [15:41PM] jimin: i forgot that on one of my assignments me and y/n had drawn a camel in the library on the back and he saw and asked me 2 stay behind after class so he could have stern words with me or smthn…..anyway so i go to the front of the class at the end and he’s like “mr park what the hell is this camel doing here” [15:42PM] jimin: and i said sir thats not a camel [15:42PM] jimin: thats my WIFE [15:43PM] y/n: HA HA HA… [15:45PM] yoongi: IF YALL DONT STOP [15:47PM] taehyung: THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU’VE MADE THIS REFERENCE AND I DONT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS [15:47PM] taehyung: this inside joke stinks….someone explain to me please what this means 😭😭😭 [15:48PM] hoseok: i hate this damn gc

(06) long phone calls

[Incoming Facetime Call From: Seokjin 👪]

“Hey.”

“Hey. Y/N, are you sitting down because I have some major tea on Professor Kwon and Professor Kim and I’m not supposed to be saying anything and it’s killing me.”

“Oh shit.” Audio shuffles. “I’m lying down now, bitch. Tell me everything.”

“Okay. So…”

[Five Hours Later]

“I’m still in shock about Kwon and Kim.”

“Me too. What’s Kim gonna do, lie and say she had heat rash on her titties?”

“Hopefully she doesn’t get them out for people to see.”

“Literally. God, I hate how our life has resorted to teacher gossip. Are we those students?”

“Yup. Two students bitching about teachers at...like ...midnight?”

“Oh, shit, it’s midnight already??”

(07) facetiming while ur both doing something else (study dates like that are on another level of intimacy)

Jimin’s had the same cold for about two weeks now, and nobody knows what the hell’s up with it. He walks around his flat, according to Hoseok, wrapped up in a blanket and surrounded by a necklace of matted tissues. To be honest, it’s not as bad as he’s making it out to be, but he’s a guy, and so anything that involves a slight stomach pain and a blocked nose instantly translates to man flu, which is almost as bad as the plague.

That being said, Jimin’s set himself under “house arrest” and is therefore glued to his bed or desk chair, still managing to move his sore and aching joints to write a few words on his lab report. With the first round of finals creeping up, Jimin actually wants to go to the library, but, man, what with his man flu and everything, he just can’t seem to do it.

On the other hand, he has you to set the mood for him. After snagging a corner table in the library near the big windows, you make a barrier out of your bag and books to watch the sunset, Taehyung opposite using minimal space with his laptop and headphones, watching a documentary he’ll need to cite for his essay. Jeongguk naps next to you, having exhausted himself from his shift last night that ran into the early hours and Sana secretly paints her nails, blowing them dry as she takes a break from writing.

Once you’re settled and comfortable, you reluctantly peel away the slice of tape covering your webcam (because Black Mirror has forever scared you into thinking 4Chan are watching you and will hold your endless hours of Games2Girls dot com against you) and open up Facetime, ringing Jimin who waits patiently back home.

After a few rings, Jimin’s bright and tired face pops up on the screen and you both silently wave. Jimin has his mic muted, but yours is on, allowing the ambience of the library trick Jimin into believing he’s actually there. It’s not quite like an ordinary study date, but for now, it’ll do. He opens his textbook and starts to work, comfortable and happy now that he’s listening to his friends discuss work, like he’s there. He smiles, occasionally glancing up to see your face working or Jeongguk unintentionally leaning into frame. It’s comforting. He works well.

(08) cooking something for ur friend

“Merry Christmas, Tae. Oh, wait, I have something for you.”

Taehyung is hosting a Christmas party this year, in the apartment he shares with some of the girls in your group and Namjoon. His flat is lit up with lights, draining the electricity, the tree sparkling like diamonds in the front living room that looks out onto the Seoul city. The sound of Michael Bublé sings out festively and Taehyung leads you through to the kitchen, out of the loud madness of the party that’s getting into full swing. In one hand, you have a big bag of presents that both Jeongguk and Yoongi kindly left for you to haul all by yourself to Taehyung’s flat, and in the other, you balance a box across your arm, the corner sharp on your inner elbow.

“Cool. Your gift is under the tree,” Taehyung says.

“Oh, yeah. No, this is an early gift.”

“Just for me?” he asks.

You set down the box. “Well, you can share if you love us all a lot. But, it’s for you.”

Taehyung wastes no time in opening the box, a smile widening across his face as he reviews the contents. The box is stuffed full with cookies, baked big and crumbly for his tasty pleasures. They’re decorated too, because you love him so much and you know he liked them last year.

“Last year you ate nearly all of my batch, so I just decided to make you some of your own this year,” you tell him casually. It’s really no big deal, but Taehyung feels like he might actually cry because the thought is so sweet. You notice this, the glassiness of your eyes. “Ew, don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry, I’m touched!” he exclaims. Taehyung turns on his spot and wraps an arm around your neck, pulling you in for a hug. With your arms wrapped around his torso, Taehyung smiles with a thrilled sound and kisses the crown of your head. “Thanks, Y/N, you’re the best.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

(09) sending texts when u randomly think abt them

[11:15AM] namjoon 👨🏼‍🚀: i stopped by at kyobo’s today and found a cards against humanity add on pack that was harry potter themed and i thought of u lol [11:15AM] namjoon 👨🏼‍🚀: i bought it for u btw 😊

(10) listening without judging

When the front door slams shut, you know that something’s wrong.

Having opted for sitting in the natural light of the living room to finish your lab report, the sound of the door echoes loudly throughout the empty house. It’s only you home, since Yoongi has volleyball practise until six this evening, which means it’s Jeongguk who’s home and apparently, not in a very good mood.

Jeongguk doesn’t realise you’re in the living room until he enters it, stopping suddenly in the doorway when he sees you cross-legged on the carpet near the coffee table. His eyes are red and swollen, his nose shiny from where he’s been crying and sniffling. The sight makes your stomach churn with an indescribable feeling, and you immediately rise to your feet.

“Jeongguk? What’s wrong- did something happen?” you ask him, not stepping forward until you know he’s okay.

Jeongguk’s sensitive, the baby of the friendship group, and sometimes you forget to go easy on him. He sighs loudly and drops his backpack to the floor with a thud. His books curl inside loudly and he drags his feet across the floor to get to the couch. He moves as if he’s going to sit down and then stops, turning to you. His bottom lip curls like he’s about to cry, and then he opens his arms for a hug. You immediately move forward.

“Oh, Jeonggukkie,” you coo, stroking his hair and moving to sit on the sofa. Jeongguk comes down with you and you rest his head on top of your breasts, granting him this once in a lifetime opportunity and he doesn’t even register it. He just cries, loudly and comfortably, his arms around you as he sobs. “Oh, my baby. What happened?”

Jeongguk hiccups. “Do-Doesn’t matter. It’s dumb.”

“No, it’s not. Something hurt your feelings, and your feelings aren’t dumb,” you tell him seriously. Stroking the hair out of his face, you peer down at him. “Come on. Tell me, I won’t judge or tell anybody else. You can trust me.”

He sniffs loudly, but you don’t cringe. He blinks, tears falling and he embarrassingly wipes the tears away, nodding. “Okay.” And then the words come out like vomit.

“I just. You know how I liked Sooyoung, right? Well, we were talking- everyone knows we were, but still, we were talking, and I just really liked her and wanted her to like me. I did all this stuff for her, planned all these dates and got her flowers. I thought she liked flowers, girls like flowers. I know we joke that you’re one of the guys, but even you liked those flowers I got for you. So, I got her this pretty necklace with an S on it and was going to give it to her and so I went to her practise room. She does dance, you knew she does dance, right? Yeah. And so I went to the room and was in the room talking to her when the door opens and this guy comes in and he comes up to her and they kiss and I just. She. She told me she didn’t want to rush into dating and that she liked me, and then she suddenly started dating someone else and I’m just really hurt and confused. Did I do something wrong? Am I ugly? Am I annoying, I just...I don’t know what I did. I really liked her.”

You don’t say anything as he talks. You just listen intently, nodding against his head with a low hum and stroking his hair gently.

“I know it’s silly and stupid that I’m crying over a girl, it’s just…” He sighs. “It hurts.”

You sigh, too. “It’s not silly and stupid. What Sooyoung did was really shitty and it’s natural that it hurt your feelings. You did absolutely nothing wrong, though. The flowers were pretty, and you didn’t force her into anything, and you were so kind and patient. Any girl would be lucky enough to have you as a boyfriend. Sooyoung missed out! You’re so good, Jeongguk, one of the best guys I know. And you’re not ugly! That’s an insult to actual ugly people! If you’re ugly, then what are we?” He laughs shyly and you smile, “Huh? What are we?”

“Okay, sorry,” Jeongguk laughs, pressing his cheek into your torso with a wide smile. His hands loop together behind your back, meek and timid, and he sighs, this time less sadly. “Maybe I’m destined to be alone forever…”

“You’re being dramatic, now,” you sigh. “The right person is waiting for you. Just give it some time.”

Jeongguk thinks about that for a moment. “Wanna date me if I end up alone and single aged thirty?”

Loudly, you let out a laugh. “Yeah right. You know what, fine. Even though I know you won’t be, if we’re both single by thirty, I’ll marry you. How about that?”

Jeongguk hums. “Cool. Is it safe to have kids after thirty?”

You let out a wheeze, taken aback by Jeongguk’s question. “Woah there. I said I’d marry you, not birth your children! Besides, you’re acting like thirty is ancient! Lots of women have kids aged thirty.”

“Okay, sorry, I didn’t know! My Mom was only young.”

“I can’t believe you just asked me to have kids with you when we’re thirty…”

“Might as well make our marriage interesting,” Jeongguk shrugs.

You quite literally have nothing to say to that.

(11) making someone laugh so hard that their whole body shakes

“Ow- stop! I’m going to pee!”

You don’t think you’ve seen Seokjin laugh at a joke that’s not his own in quite some time. Tonight, across the table in the retro diner that’s been converted and opened in town, he has surprised you. The entire booth shakes with laughter, from all sides and directions. Seokjin leans up against the window, clutching his side with Jimin, Mina and Yoongi all stuffed next to him on the skinny one seater. Next to you, on either side, is Hoseok and Taehyung, with Jeongguk and Namjoon at the counter ordering more drinks.

“What?” you ask, laughing. You’re not laughing because it’s funny, but more so because you have no idea what it is you did to make him laugh so hard. “What did I say?”

Seokjin can hardly get his words out, choking halfway on air and having to reach for his drink which shakes in his hand. He sips and gasps for air: “Just-your...face!” Then he cracks up again, like it’s the literal joke of the century. You just don’t get it.

“What did I do?” you ask. “What’s so funny?”

Seokjin can’t breathe.

“Oh my God,” Yoongi comments, smiling with disbelief and covering his mouth as he laughs. Mina’s french fries are stone cold as she laughs and leans into Yoongi’s side for support.

“Fuck. Y/N, you’re so funny, I love you so much,” Seokjin cries. Cries, literally; there are tears pooling out of his eyes, and he wipes them, sighing loudly as he laughs a few more times.

You’re going to take the compliment happily, and move on. To this day, you never found out what was so funny…

(12) hanging out in furniture stores and testing every couch there is

“Take a picture of me so we can pretend this is our house for Instagram.”

You sigh, taking out your phone and snapping a photo of Taehyung, lounging his legs apart across a lime green sofa that looks like it’s been hauled out of a 70’s magazine. One of the best things about Taehyung is that he’s easy to please, eccentric and adventurous just like you. Taehyung could be taken to a junkyard for a first date and somehow he’d still find it fun. He didn’t watch Bottletop Bill and his best friend Corky and leave not taking some inspiration on what to do with scrap junk.

It slowly became a tradition to go to the weirdest places with Taehyung as your date. On weekends or free weekdays you shared, you’d text Taehyung and get him to come with you to somewhere new. On today’s list, IKEA. It’s not totally crazy, or weird or wacky, just something you don’t think you’d do with Yoongi for fun. Taehyung loved the idea.

Taehyung’s making it a mission to sit on every bit of furniture he can find. As he takes a ride up the elevator to the first and main starting point of IKEA, he immediately notices the display couches and stares at you excitedly: “Let’s pretend we’re about to buy our dream house and test all the couches.”

Your eyes light up. “Yes! We can pretend we’re on a TV show reviewing them.”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen Taehyung more excited. “Oh my God, yes!” Then he grabs your hand, tugging you towards a cream themed living display. “Let’s go, wifey! Time to review.”

(You very nearly leave IKEA with a bright red sofa that looks like it’s been handmade and the bottom pillows are patterned with tiny cherries. Sadly, you’re both broke and you don’t have a car to take it home.)

((Taehyung’s devastated.))

(13) deep conversations when it's deep in the night

Sometimes, Yoongi stays awake until the early hours in the living room and kitchen. On days where you can’t sleep, you can hear him pacing around, softly grunting as he walks, something he does without really realising and something you love about him. On occasion, you join him. Like tonight, for example.

Yoongi’s curled up on the kitchen counter when you wake up and leave your room to find him. He sits with his back up against the cupboards, the kitchen window open with a cigarette out the window. Catching your gaze wide-eyed, he moves as if he’s going to put the cigarette out but you stop him.

“I told Jeongguk I’d stop,” Yoongi explains. Inside, he’s just grateful you’re not Jeongguk tonight. The cigarette lets off steam. He doesn’t smoke as often as he used to, just when he needs to. Yoongi looks away from the window as you pick yourself up to sit on the cupboards parallel to him. A bottle of wine is out, and you quietly take off the top and take a large swig.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you tell him honestly. “It’s okay. I won’t tell Jeongguk, too. There’s a new air freshener in the cupboard under the sink. Use that when you’re done.”

Yoongi nods. “Yeah. Thanks, Y/N.”

“Why’d you go back to smoking anyway? Didn’t you tell Jeongguk that you were stopping because you didn’t want to die, or something?” It’s a joke, Yoongi snorts in reply.

“You know how he feels about it. I do too, and I guess I just felt bad about it. It was bad enough for him growing up and at home, and he told me about his brothers asthma attacks because of it and how he almost died, and how his parents smoked religiously and it made them act a certain way.” Yoongi sucks in his breath, like he’s realising what lighting the cigarette means. “It’s not weed. Not what his parents did, but. Still, fuck.” He decides to put it out.

For a while, you don’t say anything to Yoongi. Staring at him is telling enough, and you watch as Yoongi regrets what he’s done so much that he pales, his eyes watering.

“I don’t want to let him down,” Yoongi admits truthfully. “He’s like my little brother. I don’t wanna hurt him, fuck.”

He rocks his head back, sighing into the night. Down below the window, over the small little cliffside that he can see from his window that looks down onto the freeway behind the flat, he watches the lines of traffic whiz by, like long white lights, the honks like ASMR in his ears.

“If you’re going back to bed, can you go in my room and take the rest of my cigs out? Don’t wanna feel tempted by them. Toss them out or something, will you?”

You nod immediately, taking another drink of wine. This gulp stings. “Course. Yeah, I’m gonna go now actually.” You hop down off the counter, handing the bottle and placing it next to Yoongi. “Don’t stay up too late, mkay?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

You shrug in reply, Yoongi frowns. As you walk towards the doorway that separates the kitchen and the hall, you turn around and look back at Yoongi, calling his name. Yoongi looks over and raises his eyebrows expectantly.

“Love you,” you tell him. A smile follows, and Yoongi blinks tiredly.

“I love you too. Goodnight, Y/N.”

He watches as you disappear into the darkness of the hallway and then faces the nighttime again. The smell of cigarettes lingers, and his stomach churns. Yoongi reaches for the air freshener you mentioned and sprays it generously, sniffing and then turning off the lights to the kitchen. Jeongguk will wake up and complain about the window being open, and might even notice the ash on the windowsill, but, like you, he still loves his big brother regardless.

(14) holding hands while jaywalking so that u Both get hit by a car

“Now!”

A squeal leaves your mouth as Jeongguk grabs a hold of your hand and literally pulls you across the road. A car that speeds down the road presses the horn loud enough to turn a few heads and Jeongguk grins boyishly, raising his hand as if to say sorry even though you’re far enough away to not get hit. Jeongguk’s motto for jaywalking is We Hold Hands, Because We Go Together Or We Don’t Go Down At All, or something. You know he stole half of it from an All Time Low song, but it works, and the song slaps.

From across the road, on the side you and Jeongguk are running towards, Hoseok gapes at the both of you and his eyes bulge out of his head.

“You two have a death wish!” he yells.

“But we lived, bitch!” Jeongguk replies, raising a gang sign to which Hoseok pulls a face at.

“I literally cannot stand you,” Hoseok seethes, walking away even though he’s supposed to be going out for dinner with the both of you. You and Jeongguk share a look that ends in a burst of giggles and run after Hoseok, capturing each of his arms with your own. He complains all the way to the restaurant, even though he loves it.

(15) randomly buying a flower for someone

“Delivery.”

Namjoon’s voice lifts your head. He stands behind the reception desk of your flat complex with a small bunch of flowers in his left hand. If he didn’t already know that you were working your two hour shift today, then he’s lucky he caught you. The sight of a bouquet of wildflowers makes your heart soar curiously.

“For someone special?” you wonder. Maybe he’s delivering to someone in the complex. Namjoon’s a sweetie like that.

Namjoon blinks. “Yeah. You.” He holds the bouquet outwards, with a bright smile. “They were for sale outside as I got off my subway. Thought of you, again. Happy early birthday.”

“My birthday’s in, like, seven months,” you say.

“That’s why it’s for your early birthday,” Namjoon replies.

You don’t know what to say. “They’re so pretty, thank you. Hey - can you go up to my flat and put them in a vase? I’ve still got an hour here, they might dry out if they’re kept down here.”

Namjoon nods instantly. “Sure. Gimme your key?” You slide the key across the desk towards Namjoon and he takes it swiftly. “Cool. Glad you like them. Enjoy your shift, Y/N.”

“Unlikely,” you groan. “Thanks, Joonie!”

He smiles as he reaches the door, sticking his tongue out to you as he prepares to climb the stairs. That elevator needs fixing urgently, and all you can think about is how much you love your friends.

(16) letting ur friends taste ur food and also tasting theirs to the point where u basically ate a fair amount off of each plate on the table

“What do you mean you’ve never tried a steak before?” Yoongi sighs so loudly that it turns a few heads. “Okay. Take a bite, it’s called charity and I’m generous. Come on.”

Yoongi even cuts you a slice and leans over the table to let you taste it. Beside you, Namjoon cringes when you close your teeth around the fork and pull the steak off, taking several bites and widening your eyes with wonder a Yoongi. You have just unlocked a taste sensation!

“Like it?” Yoongi asks.

“Mhm! It’s so easy to eat,” you observe. You look at Namjoon, “try his.”

Yoongi sighs. He willingly shares his food out. You glance down at your own meal, a pretty pasta dish that Jeongguk looks at from next to Yoongi.

“What is that? It looks good,” Jeongguk asks.

“Spaghetti Al Pomodoro,” you quote from the menu. Jeongguk laughs, because who goes to a restaurant and orders spaghetti? “Stop, I don’t know the menu, I played it safe!”

“Lemme try,” Jeongguk invites himself to try the taste, twirling his fork around the pasta and sucking it up like a scene in Lady and the Tramp. This sets off a sequence around the table, something you can’t help but snigger at. Namjoon lets you try some of his curry and Yoongi tries Jeongguk’s burger. By the time everybody on the table has tried everybody elses meals, you finally look back at your plate and notice that literally half of the meal’s now gone. Yoongi has about one bite of steak left, and Jeongguk could easily finish his burger in one bite.

“I hope everyone enjoyed my meal,” Yoongi says sarcastically, and he angrily chews his last piece of steak.

Namjoon looks up with a bright smile. “Yeah I did. Thanks!”

(17) "give me that I'll carry it for u"

Sometimes, Hoseok stops by at the reception to help out, especially during finals or midterms when you could really use those two years of monitoring an empty email inbox to study. Today, one of the newer residents, Somi, is on the desk and is playing Club Penguin on the computer, and you’re shoved into the back storage room with Hoseok, filing everybody’s mail and parcels.

It’s so messy in here, and looks like it hasn’t had a good clean out since it was first built, which might sound ridiculous, but have you seen all of this dust?

“Can you guys take out the trash?” One of the other workers, Siwon, pokes his head into the back room.

“You only just asked us to do this, though,” Hoseok points out with his hands on his hips.

Siwon shrugs, “Okay. And? Get to work.”

He turns and leaves as Hoseok gives him the middle finger, groaning as he arches his back to relieve pain that’s developed from being hunched over for too long. The trash bags are enormous and bulky with weight, shoved into a single room that absolutely honks. Hoseok grimaces as he opens the door and drags some bags out, deliberately ignoring a suspicious juice leaving a trail behind one of the ones he’s just brought into the back room.

“That literally stinks,” you complain.

“Yep.”

While Hoseok continues to haul bags out of the trash room, you take it upon yourself to drag the bags out to the back, towards the giant tip that’s collected by the bin-men the following day. After two or three trips, Hoseok steps out of the room and notices you struggling to pick a big bag up off the floor over your shoulder, like Santa’s sack.

“Give me that, I’ll carry it for you,” Hoseok offers, already stepping forward.

“No!” you protest stubbornly. “I’ve got this.”

“You’re so full of bullshit,” Hoseok howls. He ignores you and snatches the bag out of your hands. You’ll never admit it, but it feels good to not have the twisty material burning your fingers. “Sit down. You’ve worked hard.”

“Don’t patronise me,” you scold.

He giggles, “sorry. You’re too cute. Keep filling in those forms, kill two birds with one stone?”

You wait until Hoseok’s out of the room to cradle your fingers. Fucking hell, that hurts.

(18) helping ur friend decide what to wear while also reminding them that they look amazing no matter what

“You’re not going to the Met Gala, Jimin. Just wear jeans, my dude.”

“No. No, no, ignore him.” You throw a glare in Jeongguk’s direction and shift on your stomach, watching Jimin frantically search through his wardrobe. “This is important. This is serious. He’s going to see a potential employer, Jeongguk.”

“Yeah,” Jimin taunts, “so go be jobless and broke somewhere else.”

Jeongguk snorts, “I have a job, though…”

“Okay, get out of my room. Y/N, help me.”

“You looked good in the last four outfits,” you say to him honestly. “What’s wrong with this one, hm?”

You stand up, moving to one of the outfits laid out on the floor. It’s a pretty combination of clothes; a patterned white shirt that’s both formal and casual, with black trousers and brown shoes.

“I don’t like the shoes,” Jimin mumbles, continuing to search.

“Okay...Why don’t we just…” You crouch, moving a pair of black shoes from outfit number three to outfit number two. Now the shoes are black, and the outfit looks great. “Do that? What do you think?”

Jimin looks down at it, biting his bottom lip. “Is it good?”

“Yeah, totally,” you nod with enthusiasm. “It shows your personality whilst also remaining professional. And you looked super handsome in it.” Jimin faces you with a shy smile, “Trust me. It’s the one.”

It takes some reluctance and convincing, but Jimin eventually settles on outfit number two. All it took was some convincing and abuse of his praise kink.

(And he got the job.)

(19) being involved in every bad hair decision (dyeing ur friend's hair grey in between playing with their switch)

Three games into Mario Kart, you realise that you urgently need to email Nintendo and play I’m-Karen-Let-Me-See-The-Manager. Nintendo Switches are so dangerously addictive that Seokjin has you watching him play as grey hair dye bleaches his scalp. You can’t help but watch as he wins race after race, a streak of ten to beat tonight with King Boo as his racer every damn time.

“Fuck, your hair!” You must have said that so many times that Seokjin’s bound to get sick of it. He glances up at his reflection and eyes the sight on his head.

“Looks fine,” he shrugs.

“Let me remind you that it looks fine because the colour’s okay at the front. It looks kinda...patchy at the back.” You reach for the dye, “We’re low. Seokjin, we’re in trouble.”

He shrugs again. “Whatever. We can make a new trend.”

“Hell no. If it looks shit, I’m paying for you to get it done professionally ...which, you should have just done in the first place. I'm not a hairdresser!”

“And thank fuck for that!” Jimin steps into the living room and laughs nervously. “That looks hideous!”

This time, Seokjin’s eyes raise icily.

“It’s not that bad…” you mutter. “It’s okay. I’ll fix it.”

“The only way to save your hair is to just sacrifice it all,” Jimin sighs. “You know what, I’ve got a razor in my cupboard, let’s bring forward bald Seokjin.”

“I’ll take the patchy scalp,” Seokjin threatens.

“It’s really not that bad,” you pout quietly, attempting to fix the mess at the back of his head.

Okay - you’re lying. It’s awful. It’s a total disaster. But when Seokjin gets a good look at it, and he does take a good long look, he just shrugs and puts down the mirror.

“It’s a trend,” he decides. Mario Kart resumes and you’re rendered absolutely speechless.

(20) paying attention

When forced into a group of friends outside of your own, you always had a tendency to stand out in the worst ways possible. It’s not as if you stood out for being different, or funny or pretty. No; outside of your close circle of friends, you were the obvious outsider. You stuck out like an imposter, like a red flower amongst white ones.

This get together hosted by one of Jeongguk’s other friends, Joshua, takes place in his crazy expensive lake house in the countryside, owned by his parents and left to him when he turned eighteen. It’s remarkable that you got invited, to be honest. But, when Jeongguk’s your best friend, you get vouched for, granted permission to stay for the weekend in the one of many rooms, with the exception of sharing a room with two other guys. Jeongguk doesn’t mind sharing a bed for the weekend with Jimin, as long as you’re comfortable in your own.

And you’re not blind - it’s not hard to figure out why a big group of girls who had managed invitations were clinging to your circle of friends. You had lucked out in a way that ensured your entire group were visuals, everybody stunning in their own unique way. Joshua and his friends are here too, obviously, but their eyes are only on a certain segment of the group. From this angle, one of the girls who made her way over to the sofas sits with her back in your general direction, and it sort of feels like primary school all over again where you were the odd one out.

You try not to let it bother you, though. As the guys play polite and laugh when needed and talk casually, something slips up in conversation: “Well, actually-” One of the girls is talking, blinking repetitively in Namjoon’s direction with a sweet smile, “I think I have more guy friends than girls. Girls are so hard to talk to sometimes.”

“Right?” one of the others says with a sigh. “I wish I had more male friends. I want to move in with some in the future.”

You inhale. This is a good conversation to jump into. “Same,” you say. The girl in front of you turns around slightly, perhaps only just remembering that you were there in the first place. “I’ve been friends with these guys forever now, and living with them is so…” You notice after a short ramble that the girls turned back around, and she’s not even listening. You trail off, looking bored, “who am I even talking to?”

But from across the coffee table on the other couch, Yoongi furrows his brows and sets his glass down. “Y/N’s right,” he announces, and you look up at the same time as the other girls. Like they’re confused, they look at the group and then back at you, as if wondering the connection. “You know, guys are always told being friends with girls is impossible, but Y/N’s the glue that keeps us together.”

Jeongguk nods, “Mhm, exactly! You know, they said that it would be hard being friends with girls because you’d catch feelings, but Y/N’s so repulsive that it’s not even that hard...”

You glare at him, “Ha-ha. Very funny.”

“Trust me,” Chaeyoung pops up, having been sat silently in between Taehyung and Mark for the past twenty six minutes, “it’s not all that.” The girls look at her, “Men are disgusting. I don’t know how Y/N does it. These guys are the repulsive ones...I was in their flat for five minutes and I think I caught three diseases.”

“Hey, don’t drag my apartment into this,” you pout. Yoongi shakes his head with a smile and watches you, happy that the frown that was once on your features had disappeared into a smile. Hey, in a weird way, this was a good conversation to jump into!

The girls around you share glances, as though they’ve just clocked on to how important you are to these guys and how ignoring you won’t make them like them more, and eventually, you’re included in the conversation. You make a mental reminder to thank the fuck out of Yoongi for paying attention to you, even when you’re silently in the background.

(21) being aware and understanding of someone's financial situation ("dw I'll pay for u")

“We all need matching ones. Look, one each!”

Jeongguk excitedly crouches in front of one of the display cases, marvelling at the sight of tiny little charms on foam boxes, smiling up at you all. It makes you weak seeing how childlike Jeongguk actually is, how he gets excited over shiny things like a little magpie. Today is one of those rare afternoons where you’re all miraculously free, and it had been Namjoon’s idea to go out somewhere and hang out. Seoul is filled with beautiful and secret places to explore like a tourist and he takes up the opportunity.

This shop is dinky and in a weird place between an ice-cream shop and a fish market, probably scammy and has definitely seen better days. But Namjoon likes it, and Yoongi vouches for it because he’s been here before with Namjoon when they brought a watch for Jimin. Okay, yes, it was a designer watch, but it was way cheaper from this shop and, wait, who cares if it’s fake? Nobody noticed until now.

You stand behind Jeongguk, peering down at the charms. They’re all so cute and cartoon-like, each charm you view immediately reminding you of another friend. For Jeongguk, the rabbit. Taehyung could have the paintbrush or camera, Jimin definitely could have the apple because of the fact that his new favourite thing to say is An Apple A Day Keeps The Demons Away. It makes no sense, but he learns to roll with it.

“They’re cute,” Hoseok comments, smiling widely.

“They should be cute, for thirty dollars a charm!” you gape, pointing out the price. “I thought this was a shop that sold things cheaper?!”

“They’re usually around sixty,” Namjoon shrugs.

“For why?” you exclaim.

Nobody hears that, or if they do, they ignore it. With a sigh, you turn away from the case and start looking at something else. Thirty dollars for a small charm is insane, and you don’t have that kind of money. As Taehyung and Jeongguk start picking charms for everybody, your heart rate quickens.

How can you tell them that you don’t want a charm because you can’t afford a charm without disappointing them and sounding like you’re asking one of them to buy you one? In your panic, Seokjin worms his way up behind you and rests his arm up on your head like an arm-rest.

“Have you picked a charm?” he asks, and you look away instantly. “Hey,” he says, noticing that, “what’s up, buttercup?”

You sigh reluctantly. “I can’t afford to get one of those…”

Seokjin blinks and frowns slightly. “Oh. Well, that’s okay. I’ll pay for you.”

“No way!” you hiss at him, poking a finger into his chest. “Kim Seokjin, don’t you dare-!”

“Hey, I owe you, it’s cool,” Seokjin assures you.

“Owing me because I paid for your McDonalds is not the same as spending thirty dollars on a tiny charm.”

“They’re friendship charms,” he explains. “It’s symbolic for our friendship. Look, stay silent and pretty and let me get you something nice. Please?”

In this one instance, Seokjin doesn’t take no for an answer and invites himself into the small huddle of guys around the charms and picks one out for you. Seokjin picks you a love heart, because he knows that no matter what, there’s a love between the guys and you that nothing can pull apart.

(22) looking stupid in public together (dancing in stores to overplayed pop songs)

You hear it at the same time as Jeongguk.

One thing you don’t mind that much about Korea is that the sound of random K-POP groups follows you around everywhere you go. You actually kind of like it, because the songs are catchy enough and Jimin and Hoseok like it for the dances. But, my God, if you have to hear Momoland’s Bboom Bboom one more time, you might explode.

Over the hum of the refrigerators in the small GS25, where you and Jeongguk are examining the surprisingly large collection of flavoured milks, you hear those guitar strums and just as the horns roll in, you and Jeongguk share a glance and immediately do The Thing.

The Thing is recreating the entire dance routine to the song, which you had both decided to learn when you were bored and procrastinating during midterms. Everybody else in your friendship group deems it the single most embarrassing thing that you and Jeongguk do in public next to jaywalking, and maybe you can see why. The chorus rolls by and you’re both shimmying, pointing finger hearts to each other, and it’s rolling to an end when one of the cashiers turns the corner with a big tray of iced coffee in her arms.

She pauses and so do the both of you, in an intense stare off until she cowers and scurries to put down the tray and carefully shelf the drinks. Jeongguk looks at you with the urge to laugh and picks a random milk off the shelf, urging you out of the aisle to pay. When you’re outside and free from the judgement of the cashier, Jeongguk laughs on the floor for about five straight minutes.

(23) looking stupid in public together (singing loudly in ur car)

“JUST GO AHEAD AND HATE ON ME AND RUN YOUR MOUTH!”

“So everyone can hear!”

“HIT ME WITH THE WORST YOU GOT AND KNOCK ME DOWN!”

“Oh, baby, I don’t care.”

“KEEP IT UP AND SOON ENOUGH, YOU’LL FIGURE OUT!”

Both of your voices: “You wanna be, you wanna be, A LOSER LIKE ME!”

In the backseat, Yoongi shrinks further down until his bum is hanging off the chair, in the footwell where his knees are. “Please kill me.”

(24) hugging people when u say hi and goodbye to them

Hoseok is one of the best friends you could ever ask for. One, he’s friendly. Two, he’s funny. Three, he’s cute. Four, he hugs you when you arrive somewhere and again when you leave, and you absolutely love it.

“Y/N, hi!” His voice is the first to call out to you when you walk into the Open Day fair at your Uni. You look awful, overslept and still half asleep, but he comes towards you with a smile and engulfs you in a hug. “You look cute. Sleep well?”

That’s not to say the other guys don’t hug you, because they definitely do. But, Hoseok’s always the first.

(25) being there for someone even if u can't help them

“Go ahead. Laugh at me like everybody else.”

Jimin and Jeongguk are the ones who are unfortunately tasked with dealing with a tragically grieving Y/N. It’s unfortunate to you, but they don’t mind one bit. The last thing they expected to see when they came back to Jeongguk’s apartment to watch more episodes of Mindhunter on Jeongguk’s TV, was you curled up on the window seat with red eyes and a runny nose.

“Why would we laugh at you, baby?” Jeongguk asks, rubbing your back. He’s sat next to you and Jimin is by your feet, rubbing them and your legs with his soft hands.

You sniff uglily, but none of them say anything. “Cause. Cause it’s just a fish, I guess.”

“It was still your pet,” Jimin points out sadly. “Susan was a great fish.”

You sniff again, crying some more. “I just feel like a bad owner. Maybe the bowl wasn’t big enough, and maybe I didn’t feed her enough...I don’t want her to have died because of me.”

“Hey, now,” Jeongguk assures softly, “I’m sure she died peacefully. You were the best fish Mom ever. Susan’s in a better place now.” He glances over at Jimin nervously, “Like, fish heaven?”

For a moment you don’t say anything, and Jeongguk thinks maybe that was too much. But then you turn to him with a hopeful expression. “You really think so?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jeongguk replies.

“Susan’s still with you in your heart,” Jimin adds. He’s not too great at the comforting thing. “You were so good to her. If I was a fish, I’d want you to be my Mom.”

Jeongguk looks at Jimin with a deadpan face. Maybe that was too much, but you smiled, and that’s something to Jimin. Even if he doesn’t know what to do to help, the least he can do is be there for you.

(26) "this reminded me of u"

[03:15AM] namjoon: hehe [03:15AM] namjoon: this reminded me of u ^__^ [03:16AM] namjoon: [1 Image Attached]

[03:20AM] y/n: there r no words….

(27) allowing people to be human, with everything that this entails

University truly has been the best years of your life. There’ve been rough spots financially and mentally, but your key support system has been the circle of friends you’re proud to love and live with. Even when they’re a little bit chaotic, sometimes really annoying and loud and tiring, you still love them, and every quality that comes along with loving them.

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exhaustedfander · 4 years

Text

First Comes Love: Chapter Four

Chapter Summary: Virgil and Logan talk about Logan's dreams and a jarring conclusion is come to.

Word Count: 3,031

ao3 link

Link to previous story in the series: When is Enough Enough?

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / ?

"Logan?” Virgil’s voice was laced with exhaustion, but it was clear he hadn’t just been roused from his slumber. Logan considered that a small miracle of some kind.

“Virgil –.” he cursed the way his voice wavered with such unsteady emotion, turbulent and strong, “I’m – I’m sorry to be calling you so late.”

“Whoa, hey, it’s okay dude,” Virgil assured, hearing the panic in his friend’s voice, “What’s going on?”

“I…I had a dream. Virgil, it was vivid. So vivid…I didn’t…I couldn’t see the difference between it and reality and…”

“Hey man, it’s going to be okay. Was it another nightmare?”

Virgil knew well of Logan’s nightmares. Just like he had been with Roman, Logan had been close with Virgil for many years now. He was one of Logan’s closest friends, someone who he knew he could go to with almost any matter, and Virgil would listen with compassion. His snark and wit was something that, while sometimes slightly irritating, brought Logan a great deal of joy. He loved that he could go to his friend about anything, and this was no exception.

“No. No, it – it wasn’t. I dreamed…I dreamed that Remus and I were married.”

“Oh...Huh. And that’s…a bad thing?”

“No!” Logan hissed, sure to keep his voice as quiet as possible in the fear of disturbing Remus, “I mean, yes. I mean, I don’t know! When I woke up I – I thought it was true, for a moment. I thought Remus was my husband.”

“Right, uh, okay. I’m not sure if I’m following you here: Did you want to get married?” Logan searched his mind for an answer, searched for the words No, of course not. That would be completely and utterly ridiculous. We’ve only been dating a short while. Despite everything, the words never surfaced. “Logan,” Virgil repeated, the concern in his tone deepening, “Do you want to get married?”

Logan leaned against the kitchen counter, crushed under the weight of the desires he could no longer ignore.

“I –.” He paused, worrying his bottom lip, before forcing himself to get the word out, “Possibly.”

“Logan, buddy, where the hell did this come from? I mean, you guys have been dating, what, eleven months now?”

“Almost a full year,” Logan muttered, miserable at the onslaught of unbridled emotion, “In two weeks.” Virgil sighed into the phone.

“Okay, sure, yeah. But where did this come from? Was the dream just out of the blue, or what?”

For a moment, Logan was about to explain his conversation with Remus, the jealousy he felt when he was told of Roman’s desire to propose to Virgil – but luckily, even in his state of over emotion, he still had some sense left in him. it wasn’t like he could just tell Virgil about how Roman was planning on proposing to him at some point! Even so, he needed to explain his predicament somehow.

“Remus brought up the idea of marriage earlier tonight,” Logan explained carefully, “I’ll be honest…my reaction was not the best.”

“What do you mean?”

“To put it bluntly, I freaked out. It just blindsight me, it’s by no means something I’ve considered in the past.” Logan could practically see Virgil gazing at him intently.

“And now you’re all for it?”

“That’s not…that isn’t what I said.”

“Then what are you saying, Lo?” Logan groaned softly, running a hand through his mussed hair.

“I don’t know. Before Remus, I’d never allowed myself to consider a future with anyone. As far as I was concerned, I was going to be alone and…I suppose I made peace with that. But then we got closer, and we started dating and…everything changed.” Virgil laughed on the other end, a tired, amused sound.

“Yeah, love will do that to ya. Do you think I had any idea I was going to become as sappy as I’ve become? I mean, Jesus, just the other day I nearly burst into tears when Roman and I were picking out curtains together – and we’ve been living together for months now!” Logan could certainly empathize with that.

“I’m still not entirely used to it. Being so at the mercy of my emotions.”

“Welcome to the club, pal,” Virgil said with a chuckle, “But my point is, it makes sense that you’re getting worked up thinking about how you’ve got someone in your life who you love and who loves you. It can be a lot to take in sometimes.” Silence rung out between them for an uncomfortable moment before Logan spoke again.

“I want to marry him.”

“Whoa – slow your role, man! Just because you had some dream where you were a married couple?”

“…Yes.” Virgil groaned.

“Oh my god, this cannot be the Logan Sanders I know and love. Logan, dude, do you recognize how fucking insane that sounds?!”

“I do,” Logan said, though his tone of voice seemed to indicate the opposite, “But really, now that I’m considering things, it makes perfect sense.”

“You’re going to have to expand upon that then because I’m lost as fuck.”

“The entirety of our relationship has been incredibly fast. At first, I’d been opposed to such things, but quickly I found myself not minding the pace that things were going. Despite my initial hesitations, it all felt natural. To put it simply, Remus and I have been “speedrunning” our relationship. I can’t picture being with anyone else, and I don’t imagine he can either, therefore marriage is the next logical step.”

“Okay, but is it really the next ‘logical’ step? Don’t you think you might be rushing into this a bit, man? I mean, I’ve always considered you such a careful planner. How can you possibly know this is the right thing to do based on a dream?” Logan went silent for a moment, lost in his contemplation before posing a question to his friend.

“Can you imagine being with anyone besides Roman?”

“Ah – geez man I don’t know about –.”

“Can you?” Virgil sighed, the sound somewhat defeated.

“No…no I can’t. Fuck, I love him, a lot – but hey, we’re not talking about Ro and I’s relationship. We’re talking about you here,” Virgil said, clearly intent on steering the topic away from himself.

“I made the connection to you and Roman’s relationship in an effort to help you understand where I’m coming from. I'd never considered the fact that I could be content in a long-term relationship, I didn’t think it was possible, but I am. I love Remus immensely, more than I knew I was capable of loving someone else. I don’t ever want to consider the idea of being with anyone else, I just want him.”

“So you’ve decided, just like that, you want to get married?” Virgil asked incredulously, “I mean, just a couple minutes ago you called me sounding terrified.”

“Tell me, Virgil, do I still sound terrified?” Virgil paused, mulling the question over before sighing.

“No, you don’t. I guess you sound pretty clear-headed.”

“Precisely. I know I must’ve sounded frantic – I’ll admit, I was feeling rather frantic, and I apologize if that was cause for concern. But now, I feel like I’ve found such clarity. I know this is probably nothing you’d expected of me –,”

“You got that right,” Virgil interrupted pointedly, but there was no bite to his bark. He was quickly adjusting himself to the fact that Logan’s mind seemed very well made-up.

“Yes, well, that is understandable. Regardless, I feel strongly about this. I know it must be strange, me getting so lost in a dream, believe me, it’s just as odd for me to get so wrapped up in something so trivial. But I feel as though it’s sort of been…” Logan trailed off, unsure of his wording.

“A sign?” Virgil supplied hesitantly.

“Something like that, yes. I want him to be my husband, Virgil. It’s as simple as that,” Logan said as if anything about this situation felt simple.

“I know he was the one to bring it up, but do you think Remus will be keen on getting engaged this early in?” Virgil asked, before considering it for a half a second. “You know what? Never mind. Knowing him, he’s already planning on proposing to you or something. I mean, he’s the one who claims to be “Mr. Unpredictable” and all that.”

The idea made warmth bloom in Logan’s chest.

“Well, I-I don’t know about that. But at the very least, I can be certain he won’t shoot the idea down entirely.”

“And you’re not scared?” Virgil asked, “Of such a big change, I mean.” Logan laughed softly, still mindful of his sleeping boyfriend.

“Scared? Of course not. I’m positively terrified.” It was Virgil’s turn to laugh, it seemed, barking one out at sentiment. “Nonetheless, this is what I want.”

“Okay, L,” Virgil said finally, settling into the idea, “If that’s what you want, then you’ve got my support.” Logan sighed, more than a little relieved to have his friend onboard. He’d need all the help he could get to pull this thing off.

“Thank you, Virge. That means a great deal.”

“Yeah, yeah. What’re friends for, am I right?” Virgil said, clearly trying to downplay the clear emotion in Logan’s tone, distantly wondering if he’d ever get used to seeing such emotional vulnerability in his friend, “What kind of help do ya need?” Logan blinked.

“I beg your pardon?”

“For the proposal,” Virgil clarified, “I’m sure you’re brewing some kind of plan as we speak. What can I help you with?” Virgil wasn’t wrong; a plan was beginning to form in his mind.

“Well,” Logan said, mind already teeming with ideas, “Since you offered, I was wondering…could you and Roman host a party?” Virgil scoffed.

“A party? What’re you on about, dude? You fucking hate parties.”

“Be that as it may, Remus and I’s relationship began at you and Roman’s party nearly a year ago. I feel it would be a…pleasantly familiar atmosphere to propose to him in.” Logan could hear the gears in Virgil’s mind turning.

“Wow, Lo. I think that’s the sappiest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” Logan sputtered, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. “Hey, hey cool your jets, man,” Virgil said with a laugh, “I didn’t say no, just that it’s unexpectedly cheesy coming from you. I’ll ask Roman about it, though I’m sure he’ll say yes. He’s gonna think this is the cutest thing.”

“I – thank you, Virgil,” Logan breathed out, still feeling fairly flustered, “I sincerely appreciate it.”

“Sure man. Not too many people at the party, I assume?”

“Yes, I would prefer to keep it small.”

“Okay What’s the cover-story, then? Are we going to call it your guy’s One Year Anniversary party or something?” Logan considered it a moment. Doing anything else would surely arouse suspicions, and that would be strictly out of the question. But a party in honor of the milestone they’d reached in their relationship? That made sense.

“That…that sounds satisfactory,” Logan concluded, though Virgil could clearly hear how much more at ease he felt.

“Alright, man. I’ll let you know the details tomorrow. This is absolutely insane to think about, but I hope it goes great. If anyone could make it work, it’d be you two.”

“Thank you, Virgil, for everything you’ve done for me tonight. I appreciate it,” he choked out, “a great deal.”

“You’re welcome, L. Now I’m gonna let you go before this gets even more incredibly sappy.”

“Right, of course,” Logan said, remembering how late it was, “Goodnight, Virgil.”

“Night, man,” Virgil said before hanging up the phone and leaving Logan to process the conclusion he’d just come to.

Logan Sanders wanted to get married. Considering how he’d been behaving earlier in the evening, he should’ve been terrified by the prospect of wanting such a thing, and to some extent he certainly was, but he also felt so much calmer having decided to take this course of action.

Despite everything, he believed in this, believed in the strength of his relationship. For the first time in his life, Logan saw a future for himself that was worth holding onto.

He poured out the mug of tea that had since gone cold and crawled back into bed. Remus grumbled sleepily beside him, throwing his arms around him and pulling him into a sleepy embrace, though he didn’t wake. Logan returned the embrace happily, aware of the fact that he’d most likely struggle to get back to sleep, but it didn’t matter. He held Remus as tightly as he could, engulfed in his plan.

=+=

“Princey, you are not going to believe the conversation I just had,” Virgil announced loudly after he’d gotten off the phone, walking into their shared bedroom. Roman was sitting at the desk, probably rereading a script he had to prepare for that he’d long since memorized. Virgil decided it had been kind of a steal, finding a partner who was just as much of a night-owl as he was, though they’d both always be equally as tired in the morning.

“Who in their right mind was talking to you at this time of night?” Roman asked as if they weren’t currently still awake. Virgil belly-flopped onto the bed with more force than necessary, turning to face Roman who had since closed his laptop.

“So Logan calls me at one in the morning in a panic, right?”

“Logan? What was the matter with pocket protector? A nightmare?” Virgil sat up on the bed, crossing his legs.

“See, that’s what I thought too, but he told me the dream he had wasn’t a nightmare. He said it was a really good dream – which was exactly why he’d woken up so frantically.” Roman arched an eyebrow.

“Why in the world would he wake up and call you about a good dream?” Virgil couldn’t fight the smile his face broke out into if he wanted to.

“That’s the thing: he dreamed about him and Remus getting married.” Suddenly, Roman was on his feet with an incredulous look on his face.

“Oh my god! Are you serious?”

“I am! We talked it out a little bit, and then out of the blue, he was committed to the idea. He’s gonna fucking propose to your brother.” Roman couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh my gosh, I just had a conversation with Remus today about how he wants to propose to Logan!”

“Are you fucking joking?!”

“I’m not!”

“That’s insane! So you’re telling me that Logan wants to propose to Remus…and Remus wants to propose to Virgil…”

“Apparently. Oh, it completely slipped my mind! Remus requested that in two weeks we host a party –.” Virgil buried his face in his hands. “What’s the matter, love? You’re not keen on the idea?”

“No,” Virgil asked with a snicker, “No, it’s not that. It’s just, Logan just made the same request to me.”

“You…you cannot be serious,” Roman said, seeing how Virgil was still laughing, “Oh sweet heavens, you’re serious.”

“I am. Did you tell Remus this all seemed a bit fast?”

“I did. And I presume you told Logan the same.”

“Course I did. I couldn’t help it; I was just so surprised. But it looks like this is what both of them want.” Roman sat beside Virgil, taking his hand and squeezing it.

“I can’t believe they’re both planning on proposing to one another.”

“Ditto,” Virgil said, his thumb tracing circles against Roman’s hand, “God, this is probably going to be such a mess.”

“Knowing those two, yes, yes it will,” Roman said, intent on more physical contact as he pulled Virgil into his lip, his head resting against the headboard. Virgil quickly accepted his new placement, sighing contently as Roman began to card a hand through his hair. “Even still, it’s so romantic, isn’t it?” Virgil sighed fondly.

“I knew you were gonna get all sappy,” he said teasingly.

“But it is, though,” Roman defended, “They want to propose to one another, both unaware that the other wants just the same.”

“I say it’d be a hell of a lot easier if somebody just told them.”

“Don’t you dare even think of doing such a thing,” Roman said pointedly, “They’ve got to do this on their own.”

“I know, I know,” Virgil said, his lips curling into a smile as Roman massaged his scalp, “I’m not being serious. I mean, this out to be pretty damn entertaining, right?”

“I suppose so,” Roman said, though there was something far-off about his tone. Virgil pushed his hand out of his hair, despite how nice it felt, and positioned himself to make eye contact with his boyfriend.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Roman shook his head.

“Nothing’s wrong, my love.”

“Ro, c’mon, babe, you’ve got that wistful look in your eyes.”

“What look in my eye? I don’t know what you mean.”

“Roman.” It took very little for Roman to crack under pressure, and Virgil saying his name like that was a surefire way to do it.

“Okay, okay. I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while now…” Roman trails off, feeling his pule beginning to flutter.

“Hey, it’s alright. I’m listening,” Virgil encouraged softly. Roman nodded, determined to keep going.

“Right, well, I’ve been meaning to ask you your thoughts on marriage.” Roman could instantly feel the panic rising in his boyfriend. “I’m – I’m not proposing right now! I just wanted to know your feelings on the matter.” Virgil visibly began to relax.

“Well, as far as I’m concerned, getting married is the end goal.” A soft, hopeful smile graced Roman’s face.

“Yeah…yeah, me too. So if I was to, at some point, hypothetically, ask you to –.”

“I’d say yes,” Virgil assured, his voice brimming with emotion. Roman, utterly relieved, pulled his boyfriend into a kiss with far too much intensity for the time of night; neither men seemed to care.

“I love you so much, my dark prince,” he said pressing their foreheads together, his voice just above a whisper.

“I love you too, Ro,” Virgil promised, his heart swelling with unbridled emotion, “With all my damn heart.”

That night two couples slept, both intent on marriage and both helplessly, hopelessly in love.

=+=

#intrulogical #romantic intrulogical #prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #sanders sides #human au #Remus Sanders #Remus the duke Sanders #Logan Sanders #Roman Sanders #Virgil Sanders #fluff #tooth-rotting fluff #exhaustedfander #exhaustedfander writes

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