Tumgik
#because I don’t have much time but if I don’t create anything I will break down
saudadeko · 7 months
Text
ADHD tips from a girlie who was diagnosed in her late twenties and has had little to no support since and is being so brave about it:
1) Make it easy, make it accessible, and make it appealing. If anything this is the most important thing, all tips going forward are based around this concept.
2) That thing you think would help you but you haven’t bought/done it yet because you’re technically surviving without it? Buy it, you need it. It doesn’t matter if people around you might think it’s wasteful or that you’re lazy, you’re not, just do it, trust me.
3) Expanding on tip #2, if you’re like me and eggs are your main source of protein because they’re quick and easy and feeding yourself is a near insurmountable task- buy yourself an electric egg cooker, make a bunch of hard boiled eggs and keep them in your fridge for quick and easy protein to add to any meal (handful of crackers, a hard boiled egg and a banana? 5 star meal right there. Or mash them up with some mayo for egg salad sandwiches). Other easy proteins include: potstickers (put them in instant ramen), edamame (they have microwaveable snack packs), chickpeas (put in salads!), beans (can of beans microwaved with shredded cheese and some tortilla chips), peanut butter (with crackers, apple and cheese, adult lunchable style), and tofu (cut into cubes, throw them into a ziplock with some seasoning and potato starch, shake that shit up and bake it until crispy).
4) Spend a little extra (if you are able) on daily use items that excite you, it will make you more likely to remember/want to do said daily task. For example: the only reason I remember to use sunscreen is because I bought some fancy japanese sunscreen that smells like roses so I get excited to use it, same for laundry detergent and body wash! there’s a gajillion different body wash scents out there, switch it up!
5) If there’s a task you continuously struggle with take a moment to think about which part of the task is making it difficult, it could be something even as small as “I don’t put my dirty clothes in the hamper because my hamper has a lid on it and lifting the lid is one step too many-”, sounds a little stupid huh? But trust your gut, it’s not stupid if it works. See tip #2 and BUY A HAMPER WITHOUT A LID.
6) If you are having trouble starting a task, break the task down further, sometimes the way I start a task is just by going “Ok step 1) stand up-“ and so forth. Don’t worry about the task as a whole just take it one step at a time.
7) If you’re halfway through a task and have to stop, leave it out. All this, “Put things away when you’re done with them.” is bullshit. you will be much more likely to finish the task if restarting it is easier because you left it out plus it’s a visual reminder. You can also create faux deadlines like “I gotta finish this project before my friend comes over on tuesday because after I finish it I can clean off the dinner table.” etc.
8) It’s okay to outsource tasks and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, humans are designed to ask for, and to require help (what do babies do when they’re first born?? cry for help!!) ask for help and receive help without shame, if it makes your life better, you are WINNING.
9) If you have one big overwhelming task that you think you need to get done before anything else, but you feel motivated to do other tasks, do those other tasks first, it’s okay. Otherwise in all likelihood (at least in my case) you’ll put everything off until the last minute and then have to do said overwhelming task and those other tasks won’t get done at all. Doing those smaller tasks also lowers the mental load and you can use them as a motivation launch pad to tackle bigger things.
10) If you notice you tend to not put something away/forget to do something, perhaps consider moving and storing the item closer to where it ultimately ends up or where you are more likely to see it. For example, my makeup, pills, and mail are all stored on my desk because that’s where I tend to do my makeup, take my pills and deal with my mail. I used to store my pills in my bathroom medicine cabinet but all too often I would forget because they weren’t in my line of sight. Now that they’re on my desk, I have multiple chances per day to pass by them, go “oh I gotta take those.” and take them.
11) Open storage, open storage, OPEN STORAGE.
12) Motivation can look like all kinds of things. sometimes the only reason I get out of bed is because I remember I have a fun snack and I get to go eat it if I get up. It’s okay to lean into those simple “animal-brain” type motivators, you’ll eat because then you can use that fun new kitchen gadget you got a daiso? Neat. you’ll shower because then you can paint your nails that fun new color you got? Fantastic. You’ll go to the dmv and do that annoying thing because you’ll take yourself out for boba after? Superb. Lean-IN to those small motivators, they aren’t stupid or childish, they are VITAL.
13) Don’t buy into the cult of “if it’s worth doing, do it properly” it’s guaranteed to set you up for failure. If it’s worth doing, do it in whatever capacity you are able to. I put sunscreen on once a day because that’s fucking better than not doing it at all and I sure as all hell will fail at reapplying it multiple times a day. If it’s worth doing, do it half-assed babieeee.
Go forth and prosper!!! xoxo ✌️🩵
7K notes · View notes
prettieinpink · 5 months
Text
NEW YEAR, NEW ME
( A collab with thee lovely lele @bloombabydoll )
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
If you want to reinvent and rebrand yourself, or just continue to make positive improvements in 2024, the first thing is to evaluate your current year. 
EVALUATION
Reflect on how things went for you. Was there continuous growth? Were there many difficult times? Did you discover anything major about yourself and so on. Try to summarise your year in (a) paragraph(s) at least. 
Oversee your goals. Which ones you didn’t, did achieve, difficult ones, easy ones and the impacts it had on your life. 
Compare your dream girl then and now. Is your visualisation of your life currently different to the one you have now and why? 
List any major losses or successes you’ve had in your life, and how they have helped you or why it matters to you. 
This evaluation can be as detailed or simple as you like, but as long as you have a decent outline of your year. 
PREPARING & PLANNING
To prepare for 2024, you want to know what you want life to be like in 2024. Something realistic to a point, but still is a growth journey. 
Think of something that you can associate with 2024. This can be a word, a symbol, art, a song, a book, a movie, a place, or even just all of these things. When you think about your goals and your journey, this is your theme. This is something that should relate to your goals or your dream girl somehow. 
For me, I chose a word and a song. My word is growth because, for me, 2023 was a year for just being able to shed my old self which I did achieve however I just felt there wasn’t much growth as an actual person and not just in my environment. 
For my song, it is Mayflowers by Proleters and Taskrok. This song is the epitome of what I would imagine, is the most polished mindset. I would say perfect, but having a perfect mindset is near impossible. I want to have a mindset glow up because I’ve just been hard on myself lately which has caused my confidence to plummet. 
Before we get into the fun part of the preparation stage, we have to do some organisation in our life. I want you to take a look at your daily lifestyle and your habits, and be completely unashamed about this. 
Then categorise these habits into two sections; Leave and Leap. Leave habits are habits that you are leaving behind in 2023, leap habits are habits that are leaping into 2024 with you. 
Any habits that are self-destructive, addictive or generally harmful are leave habits. Beneficial habits and self-building are leaping with you into the new year.
I want you to do the same for people in your life, all environments (school, work, online etc) and anything else you believe needs to be sorted out. 
This works better if you can reason with yourself why it is a leaping or leaving habit, but don’t try to convince yourself a bad habit is good or vice versa. 
Now, I want you to document an honest paragraph about who you are right now. List your bad and good habits, your strengths and weaknesses and your behaviours. This one requires a bit more detail. 
Then, write a paragraph about who you will be in 2024, your dream girl. List her habits, lifestyle, behaviours, mindset, strengths and anything else extra. I’ll explain later but do not include materialistic desires in this your dream girl. Once again, this one also requires details. 
Stemming from those paragraphs, I want you to create specific and achievable goals. SMART goals are best, but I want to introduce you to how I set goals. 
I divide my year into quarters. For each 3 months, I have 3-5 goals for those months. Usually, it’s one from each area of my life. Then, I break down these goals. 
Questions and How They Help 
Why do I want to do this goal - For motivation and commitment. 
How it’ll benefit me - For the sake of improvement. 
How can I involve myself in this goal - To achieve your goal.  
I prefer this method because it is a lot simpler for me, as I am just a young girl and my bigger goals are more in the future in which I’ll utilise SMART goals. 
To create good goals; Make sure they align with your current values and life principles first. Try to avoid creating goals that you have just taken from the internet. Those goals just aren’t it and you most likely won’t follow through with it. 
Be specific. Don’t say you want to eat more healthily, instead say you want to include (a certain group of veggies/fruits) in your diet and reduce the intake of ( food/drink). 
E.g using eating healthy example
I want to eat healthy -> I want to start including foods that boost my immunity system and support my skin while reducing those that have the opposite effect. 
Then break down those quarterly goals into monthly, weekly and daily goals. Make these habits that you can establish in your lifestyle and have a way in which you can refer back to your progress. 
EXAMPLE GOAL BREAKDOWN
Quarterly Goal - Read 6 books.  
Monthly Goal - Finish 2 books.
Weekly Goal - Be or near half way of one book.
Daily Goal - 20 minutes of reading per day. 
AREAS TO SET GOALS IN YOUR LIFE
Academics
Spiritual
Fitness/sport
Health and wellbeing
Mental health
Personal life
Relationships
Hobbies and recreation
Now for the best part- vision boards! Collect all of your favourite images that embody your quarters or the whole year, then put them in one place where you can see them regularly!
Some ideas are a scrapbook, Pinterest boards, mood boards, playlists etc. 
Choose your theme; It can be your healthy girl era, your academic come back or whatever you want. You can have more than two btw.
Use quotes! Then actually say them in your daily life as a way to shift your mindset to reflect said quote.
Include inspirational people. It doesn't even have to be a millionaire or a very well established person, it could be your friends or someone on the internet.
Be imaginative. Your vision board doesn't have to realistic in my opinion, as the whole point of it to me is that viewing it daily and considering it to be part of your life one day allows for you to open up to those opportunities.
Materialistic Wants
I feel obligated to make this a separate section. This section is practically tangible objects that you want.
However, when choosing this said object that you want, mindfully think about why you want that thing specifically.
It doesn’t have to be meaningful, but as long as each thing on that list has got a purpose to you, and will serve you, I think it’s all good!
Conclusion
If you want, you can definitely start implementing habits before January. However, I believe that as long as you go into 2024 at least knowing who you want to be and shedding away any limiting beliefs, you’ll be fine.
Make sure to incorporate some self care rituals into your daily life as well✨
To end this, I hope everyone has a very merry Christmas! And that 2024 they will achieve to close that gap with their current selves and their dream girl selves! 💖🙏
3K notes · View notes
luffysscraps · 8 months
Text
Straw hats kinks;🔞
cw: Headcanons.NSFW.Smut.18+.Fem reader. Luffy’s a bit gross. (BUT IF YOU DONT LIKE HIM LIKE THAT THEN YOU’RE NOT A TRUE LUFFY FAN‼️‼️) Sanji cums on food.
Characters: Luffy. Zoro. Sanji.
Not proofread.
Tumblr media
-Luffy
• Hair pulling (Giving and receiving); he didn’t know how much fun it was to pull you down on his cock by your hair. Watching you try to get away from him and forcing you to look at him by your hair made his dick twitch. He also loved when you grasp his head when he’s going down on you. The feeling of your fingers gripping his hair harshly made him hard instantly.
•Excessive cum; Again he discovered this by complete accident. Even without using his devil fruit powers his balls are abnormally large and filled to the brim with cum. Doesn’t matter how long ago he was sucked dry they’ll refill within an hour. And with Luffy’s stamina he doesn’t even notice when he’s shooting blanks. But watching you fill up with his cum turned him on even more which resulted in him going longer creating an endless cycle of cumming inside of you. He likes to pull out slowly and watch the juices drip down his cock and onto the bed sheets; making a mess of your pussy.
•Spit; He’s so messy. His kisses are so sloppy. And he knows this, he often apologizes for his messiness but doesn’t do anything to improve it. So when he accidentally drooled over on top you he didn’t expect his cock to twitch so wildly. So (with your permission of course) he begins to spit on you more often. In your mouth; on your boobs; ass; pussy; face. Anywhere you’ll allow him to he does so. Hell he’ll even ask you to spit on him some times.
•Belly bludge; He loves placing his hand on your womb and, every time he thrusts feeling your skin stretch to accommodate his size. “Hmm~ I can feel myself inside of you~!” He’ll groan out with a laugh on the end of it. He makes it a game, placing his hand on your stomach as he’s trying to feel his tip with every thrust.
•Marking/Biting; He loves, loves, loves to leave marks on your body. By the end of your session you’re left with red and purple hickies and bites all over your body. He can’t seem to take his mouth off of your body, there’s something so addicting about having your soft skin in between his lips. A simple neck kiss often turns into a sex session because he’s so turned on by just sucking on your skin. (Although he does forget his own strength and ends up biting too hard sometimes.)
•Body crushing; “You can take it! Can’t you?” He giggles while he smothers you against the mattress. He loves the feeling of his weight on top of you. At first he used it as a way to restrain you and stop you from squirming but he soon began to enjoy the control he got from it. You can barely breath from underneath him, and your squirms were no more. There was something unexplainably sexy about you two being so close to each other that turned him on. He didn’t know what it was but now he loves to smother you against the bed sheets
•Bonus; He doesn’t mean to be so rough with you, it’s just that he doesn’t know his own strength and when he’s going at it, his mind runs blank more often then not. He’s not in control of his body and stretches his dick to reach your womb, trying to go beyond but it seems impossible. So he’s made it his goal to break through your womb! And he tells anyone who asks what his dreams are or goals. “My goal is find the one piece, become pirate king and break through Y/N’s womb!” He shouts in the middle of a heated battle. Sometimes you wonder why you love this idiot.
Tumblr media
-Zoro
•Throat fucking; Zoro often has you laid out on his bed in front of him. He spreads out your arms grasping both of them tightly. He positions himself at the entrance of your mouth and goes to town. He loves to grip your throat and feel the outline of his cock as he thrusts in and out of your mouth like his own personal toy. So warm; so wet; and don’t get him started on that tongue of yours. It’s something about your throat that Zoro loves (slightly) more then your pussy.
•Dacryphilia; When your eyes start to water and tears prick the corners of your eyes Zoro let’s out nothing but a moan. There was no concern for you. He loves watching the tears streak down your cheeks as you whine and cry about how his cock is too big and too much for you to handle. “What is it too big? Come on now Y/N~ I know you can handle it~” The power and control he feels from seeing your pathetic tears make his dick run wild.
•Breastfeeding; The man loves boobs, and he loves sucking on them too, this kink was a no brainer. He doesn’t know why but playing with your nipples and sucking on them gets his rocks off. He’ll get hard In seconds from just playing with them. Sometimes he’ll fall asleep with a nipple in his mouth.
•Cockwarming; Just like how he’ll fall asleep with your nipple on his mouth, he’ll fall asleep with his cock still inside of you. It feels at home just being inside your warm cunt. He loved spooning you and just shoving his cock into you without warning and falling asleep in seconds. It’s just so relaxing, feeling you squeeze him tightly in his sleep. He’ll stay like this with you for hours, but don’t be surprised when he wakes up and starts going to pound town without warning.
•Boxers; something about seeing you in his boxers makes him hard in a heart beat. Man sees you wearing his boxers and he is sprung. You look so sexy wearing his underwear, he can devour you in seconds if you come to bed wearing his boxers. The boxers being way too big for your figure; the way he can see the outline of your cunt. It drives him crazy. A simple nap together can turn into getting freaky in the sheets because of you wearing his boxers.
•Orgasm control; “listen to me. You can’t cum now. Don’t disobey me baby girl~” Again it’s the power going all to his cock. When he feels you squirm and your walls twitch he shakes his head “Ah, ah, ah. You’ve gotta hold it until I cum first alright?” His voice is so demanding and feeling your uncontrollable twitching go against his words causes him to smack your ass. “Bad girl~” he warned with a smirk.
•Breeding; The thought of knocking you up is just so enticing to him. Stuffing you full of his cum and watching you quake and shake makes his body feel so hot. And watching your baby bump and tits grow larger just turns him on so much. He’ll place his hands on your stomach and breasts every day, feeling them swell as the days go by, god it just makes him hard instantly. He’ll pump you full of cum every single night, he can’t help it he loves using your hole for hours on end.
•Bonus; not really a turn on, turn on. But Zoro finds it hot when his s/o is smarter then him. Say something smart, figure something out or lead him back to the crew and he’ll just stare at you with a devious smirk. He’s totally silent but that smirk on his face is all telling.
Tumblr media
-Sanji
•praise (giving and receiving); “you’re doing so well for me princess~ just a little more.” “What a good girl you are for me~” “fuck~ so tight. So good for me~ hmm~” with Sanji being Sanji, even if he can’t speak full sentences he’ll praise you to the ends of hell. But if you praise him back, call his cock big, tell him how good he’s fucking you, tell him he’s amazing and sweet to you; he’s hard again in minutes and you’ve earned yourself another round.
•Brat taming; My goodness, please, please, please act naughty and disobey him. It turns him on soooo much. If you tell him ‘no’, try to get away from him, or tell him something mean he’s quick to remind you who’s in control here. He’ll pin you to the bed like “uh uh uh~ Be a good girl for me, okay princess?” With a playful wag of his finger he’ll lightly scold you and act like what you did was childish before rightfully punishing you. Shoving his cock in your pussy before fucking you painfully slowly, and with your body pinned you can’t move at all. You’ll end up whining and begging for him to speed up, and only when you say please is when he’ll comply.
•Spanking; It goes hand and hand with brat taming. Be too naughty in one night and he’ll bend your bare ass over his knee. “Now you’ve earned yourself 20 spanks. I want you to count with each one or else I’ll have to start over.” He warns before he smacks your rear. He’s gentle with you, not too harsh but not too soft of course. He just wants you to learn a lesson. And when he sees the plush of your skin turning a soft red and purple it drives him wild. After the spanking is over he’ll kneed the bruised skin with a sly smile. Sinking his fingers into it to hear you whine and cry more.
•Bondage; He likes the restraining aspect of bondage. He likes to tie you up and restrict your movements. He’ll tie your hands around your back with just about anything he could get his hands on. A rope, a ribbon, his own tie. Loves to watch you squirm and cry, begging to be unrestrained but you’re at his mercy. It makes him feel like he’s in control, only he can let you go and only he can make you feel like this.
•Oral (Giving); Sanji LOVES to eat you out for hours on end. He’ll tie your hands behind your back and place his hands firmly on your thighs so you can’t move. He’ll leave a trail of kisses along your stomach before his head dips down to your wet cunt and his tongue does it’s job. He’ll have you ringing out orgasms on end. Not stopping from your whines and protests of overstimulation. He’ll go until your clit is sore and your pussy aches. He loves eating you out, your juices are simply delicious. He loves feeling your thighs squeeze his head, he swears he can cum just from your noises and the action of his tongue sliding in and out of your slick.
•Food play; Sanji often treats himself with a snack late at night and that’s you. He’s brought whipped cream and hot fudge to the bedroom and you’re his plate to decorate. He’ll tie you down to the bed and spread whipped cream on your sensitive nipples, a trail of hot fudge runs down to your pussy and cherries on top to garnish the dish. He makes you a work of art before devouring your body. As he eats you up like no tomorrow you can feel his hard on pressed against your inner thigh. You’re just the best dish he’s ever had, how can he not get hard?
•Bonus; “I’ve made you a special dish tonight my love.” Sanji beckons as he enters the bedroom holding a plate. You know exactly what that meant and hummed softly laying down on the bed. “It’s a chocolate eclair, made with Love~” He sung happily taking a piece of it up with his fork and putting it to your lips. You could see the runny, milky-clear, liquid of his sperm sitting on top of it and you gladly ate it and you could see the exact second his cock gets hard in his pants.
7K notes · View notes
denimbex1986 · 4 months
Text
'...“It’s fun playing bad, but actually he’s not,” the actor says, smiling as he reflects on his character, Crowley. “He’s a villain with a heart. The amount of really evil things he does are vanishingly small.”
...As it always has, “Good Omens” dissects the view of good and evil as absolutes, showing viewers that they are not as separate as we were led to believe growing up. Aziraphale and Crowley’s long-standing union is proof of this. The show also urges people to look at what defines our own humanity. For Tennant — who opted to wear a T-shirt emblazoned with the words “Leave trans kids alone you absolute freaks” during a photocall for Season 2 — these themes are more important now than ever before.
“In this society that we’re currently living in, where polarization seems ever more present, fierce and difficult to navigate. Negotiation feels like a dirty word at times,” he says, earnestly. “This is a show about negotiation. Two extremes finding common ground and making their world a better place through it. Making life easier, kinder and better. If that’s the sort of super objective of the show, then I can’t think of anything more timely, relevant or apt for the rather fractious times we’re living in.”
“Good Omens” is back by popular demand for another season. How does it feel?
It’s lovely. Whenever you send something out into the world, you never quite know how it will land. Especially with this, because it was this beloved book that existed, and that creates an extra tension that you might break some dreams. But it really exploded. I guess we were helped by the fact that we had Neil Gaiman with us, so you couldn’t really quibble too much with the decisions that were being made. The reception was, and continues to be, overwhelming.
Now that you’re no longer bound by the original material that people did, perhaps, feel a sense of ownership over, does the new content for Season 2 come with a sense of freedom for you? This is uncharted territory, of sorts.
That’s an interesting point. I didn’t know the book when I got the script. It was only after that I discovered the worlds of passion that this book had incited. Because I came to it that way, perhaps it was easier. I found liberation from that, to an extent. For me, it was always a character that existed in a script. At first, I didn’t have that extra baggage of expectation, but I acquired it in the run-up to Season 1 being released… the sense that suddenly we were carrying a ming vase across a minefield.
In Season 2, we still have Neil and we also have some of the ideas that he and Terry had discussed. During the filming of the first one, Neil would drop little hints about the notions they had for a prospective sequel, the title of which would have been “668: The Neighbour of the Beast,” which is a pretty solid gag to base a book around. Indeed there were elements like Gabriel and the Angels, who don’t feature in the book, that were going to feature in a sequel. They were brought forward into Season 1. So, even in the new episodes, we’re not entirely leaving behind the Terry Pratchett-ness of it all.
It’s great to see yourself and Michael Sheen reunited on screen as these characters. Fans will have also watched you pair up for Season 3 of “Staged.” You’re quite the dynamic duo. What do you think is the magic ingredient that makes the two of you such a good match?
It’s a slightly alchemical thing. We knew each other in passing before, but not well. We were in a film together [“Bright Young Things,” 1993] but we’d never shared a scene. It was a bit of a roll of the dice when we turned up at the read-through for “Good Omens.” I think a lot comes from the writing, as we were both given some pretty juicy material to work with. Those characters are beloved for a reason because there’s something magical about them and the way they complete each other. Also, I think we’re quite similar actors in the way we like to work and how we bounce off each other.
Does the shorthand and trust the two of you have built up now enable you to take more risks on-screen?
Yes, probably. I suppose the more you know someone, the more you trust someone. You don’t have to worry about how an idea might be received and you can help each other out with a more honest opinion than might be the case if you were, you know, dancing around each other’s nervous egos. Enjoying being in someone’s orbit and company is a positive experience. It makes going to work feel pleasant, productive, and creative. The more creative you can be, the better the work is. I don’t think it’s necessarily a given that an off-screen relationship will feed into an on-screen one in a positive or negative way. You can play some very intimate moments with someone you barely know. Acting is a peculiar little contract, in that respect. But it’s disproportionately pleasurable going to work when it’s with a mate.
Fans have long discussed the nature of Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship. In Season 2, we see several of the characters debate whether the two are an item, prompting them to look at their union and decipher what it is. How would you describe their relationship?
They are utterly co-dependent. There’s no one else having the experience that they are having and they’ve only got each other to empathize with. It’s a very specific set of circumstances they’ve been dealt. In this season, we see them way back at the creation of everything. They’ve known each other a long time and they’ve had to rely on each other more and more. They can’t really exist one without the other and are bound together through eternity. Crowley and Aziraphale definitely come at the relationship with different perspectives, in terms of what they’re willing to admit to the relationship being. I don’t think we can entirely interpret it in human terms, I think that’s fair to say.
Yet fans are trying to do just that. Do you view it as beyond romantic or any other labels, in the sense that it’s an eternal force?
It’s lovely [that fans discuss it] but you think, be careful what you wish for. If you’re willing for a relationship to go in a certain way or for characters to end up in some sort of utopian future, then the story is over. Remember what happened to “Moonlighting,” that’s all I’m saying! [Laughs]
Your father-in-law, Peter Davison, and your son, Ty Tennant, play biblical father-and-son duo Job and Ennon in Episode 2. In a Tumblr Q&A, Neil Gaiman said that he didn’t know who Ty’s family was when he cast him. When did you become aware that Ty had auditioned?
I don’t know how that happened. I do a bunch of self-tapes with Ty, but I don’t think I did this one with him because I was out of town filming “Good Omens.” He certainly wasn’t cast before we started shooting. There were two moments during filming where Neil bowled up to me and said, “Guess, who we’ve cast?” Ty definitely auditioned and, as I understand it, they would tell me, he was the best. I certainly imagine he could only possibly have been the best person for the job. He is really good in it, so I don’t doubt that’s true. And then my father-in-law showed up, as well, which was another delicious treat. In the same episode and the same family! It was pretty weird. I have worked with both of them on other projects, but never altogether.
There’s a “Doctor Who” cameo, of sorts, in Episode 5, when Aziraphale uses a rare annual about the series as a bartering tool. In reality, you’ll be reprising your Time Lord role on screen later this year in three special episodes to mark the 60th anniversary. Did you always feel you’d return to “Doctor Who” at some point?
There’s a precedent for people who have been in the series to return for a multi-doctor show, which is lovely. I did it myself for the 50th anniversary in 2013, and I had a wonderful time with Matt [Smith]. Then, to have John Hurt with us, as well, was a little treat. But I certainly would never have imagined that I’d be back in “Doctor Who” full-time, as it were, and sort of back doing the same job I did all those years ago. It was like being given this delightful, surprise present. Russell T Davies was back as showrunner, Catherine Tate [former on-screen companion] was back, and it was sort of like the last decade and a half hadn’t happened.
Going forward, Ncuti Gatwa will be taking over as the new Doctor. Have you given him any advice while passing the baton?
Oh God, what a force of nature. I’ve caught a little bit of him at work and it’s pretty exciting. I mean, what advice would you give someone? You can see Ncuti has so much talent and energy. He’s so inspired and charismatic. The thing about something like this is: it’s the peripherals, it’s not the job. It’s the other stuff that comes with it, that I didn’t see coming. It’s a show that has so much focus and enthusiasm on it. It’s not like Ncuti hasn’t been in a massive Netflix series [“Sex Education,”] but “Doctor Who” is on a slightly different level. It’s cross-generational, international, and has so much history, that it feels like it belongs to everyone.
To be at the center of the show is wonderful and humbling, but also a bit overwhelming and terrifying. It doesn’t come without some difficulties, such as the immediate loss of anonymity. It takes a bit of getting used to if that’s not been your life up to that point. I was very lucky that when I joined, Billie Piper [who portrayed on-screen companion, Rose] was still there. She’d lived in a glare of publicity since she was 14, so she was a great guide for how to live life under that kind of scrutiny. I owe a degree of sanity to Billie.
Your characters are revered by a few different fandoms. Sci-fi fandoms are especially passionate and loyal. What is it like being on the end of that? I imagine it’s a lot to hold.
Yes, certainly. Having been a fan of “Doctor Who” since I was a tiny kid, you’re aware of how much it means because you’re aware of how much it meant to you. My now father-in-law [who portrayed Doctor Who in the 80s] is someone I used to draw in comic strips when I was a kid. That’s quite peculiar! It’s a difficult balance because on one end, you have to protect your own space, and there aren’t really any lessons in that. That does take a bit of trial and error, to an extent, and it’s something that you’re sometimes having to do quite publicly. But, it is an honor and a privilege, without a doubt. As you’ve said, it means so much to people and you want to be worthy of that. You have to acknowledge that and be careful with it. Some days that’s tough, if you’re not in the mood.
I know you’re returning to the stage later this year to portray Macbeth. You’ve previously voiced the role for BBC Sounds, but how are you feeling about taking on the character in the theater?
I’m really excited about it. It’s been a while since I’ve done Shakespeare. It’s very thrilling but equally — and this analogy probably doesn’t stretch — it’s like when someone prepares for an Olympic event. It does feel like a bit of a mountain and, yeah, you’re daring to set yourself up against some fairly worthy competition from down the years. That’s both the challenge and the horror of doing these types of things. We’ve got a great director, Max Webster, who recently did “Life of Pi.” He’s full of big ideas. It’s going to be exciting, thrilling, and a little bit scary. I’m just going to take a deep breath.
Before we part ways, let’s discuss the future of “Good Omens.” Gaiman has said that he already has ideas for Season 3, should it happen. If you were to do another season, is there anyone in particular you’d love to work with next time around or anything specific you’d like to see happen for Crowley?
Oh, Neil Gaiman knows exactly where he wants to take it. If you’re working with people like Gaiman, I wouldn’t try to tamper with that creative void. Were he to ask my opinion, that would be a different thing, but I can’t imagine he would. He’s known these characters longer than me and what’s interesting is what he does with them. That’s the bit that I’m desperate to know. I do know where Crowley might end up next, but it would be very wrong if I told you.
[At this point, Tennant picks up a pencil and starts writing on a hotel pad of paper.]
I thought you were going to write it down for me then. Perhaps like a clandestine meeting on a bench in St James’ Park, but instead you’d write the information down and slide it across the table…
I should have done! I was drawing a line, which obviously, psychologically, I was thinking, “Say no more. You’re too tempted to reveal a secret!” It was my subconscious going “Shut the fuck up!”
3K notes · View notes
hanaonesflower · 1 year
Text
“Princess, can I ask you something?” He speaks, breaking the silence of the long, uneventful car ride. “Sure, anything!” You chirp, unsuspecting of what is to come.
“Why don’t you ever let me do anything for you?” Ushijima says, his eyes remain fixated on the long stretch of roads ahead. The fog heavily roll down the sides the hills on your either sides, lowering visibility. His hand tightens around the wheel, while the other grips yours.
“What do you mean by that?” You sit back, eyes wandering his features, looking for any sign that he’s just cheerfully asking you. Knowing Ushi though, he’s sometimes not as light hearted as you’d think.
“You are always so insistent on doing everything yourself. You won’t let me help you, like earlier, when you refused to let me tie your shoes. That isn’t the first time you refused my help.” He goes on a spiel, his thumb reaches to the toggle and lowers the volume, making his breathing more prominent than ever. It has occur to you that you have always been doing everything by yourself despite his looming figure always by your side. The hyperindependence is slowly starting to bother him. He wants to help you, wants to give you the fullest extent of a princess treatment yet the only thing really holding him back from that is, you.
“It’s just something that I could easily have done for myself, you didn’t need to bother with that, don’t worry, baby,” you try to comfort him, hoping some words of affirmation can help. It really isn’t a big deal, it’s some shoe laces that came undone, not a heavy errand.
As soon as the car is pulled into a parking spot at a rest stop, quickly shifting the car in “park”, turning to you and he sighs. A real sigh. One so full of frustration and… hopelessness. “I’m not bothered. It has never mattered how big or small anything is, I want to do everything for you. Why are you holding yourself back from me?” He is starting to put things into perspective for you. After going through a useless ex-boyfriend, then a man who gave you hot and cold attention, lastly a guy who gave you princess treatment to fill his inflated ego before meeting Ushijima, learning to only rely on yourself has been the protector of your heart, your soul and your sanity. You find that by depending on your good ol’ self is the only way to prevent yourself from throwing your body off a bridge.
“Ushi, it’s not—,” before you can finish your sentence, truthfully you don’t really know what to say. He’s right, you are holding yourself back from him. Holding yourself back from the hurt that you’ve known all too well, he interrupts, holding both your hands in his, “baby, you’re my priority, my everything, your well-being, happiness and comfort are my main concerns and I want it to be that way,” he stops, taking a breath. Reminiscent of the times where Ushijima offered to go so out of his way to help you but being kindly turned down has left him feeling absolutely useless and uneasy. Ushijima’s love language is act of service and because he hasn’t been able to do the bare minimum for you, he feels it eating him alive.
“I am aware of your past, I know that I can’t change what was, but I’m here to make a difference now, I mean it!” You are moved by his words, he means what he says and you know it. You’ve seen it. He’s a big man of his words, always keeping promises, has never ever disappointed you in any way. Yet the walls have been reinforced many times again that it has cemented itself in your life, creating a barrier between the two of you. “I want to open doors for you, pull out chairs for you, pick you up from a friend’s house, drop you off at the airport, all of that, please, baby, please just let me.” You have to say, it is like he is begging for you to allow him in, allow him to integrate further into your system, a system you’ve built to keep you from going down a slippery slope time and time again.
“I’m so grateful for you, Ushi, you’ve done so much for me, you really have. I just feel like I can’t be asking for anymore than what you’ve already given me,” before you can inhale a full breath, he branches his body over to your side of the car and kisses you deeply, so deeply that you melt. “I’m at your disposal, you are my world, let me in, don’t keep shutting me out,” he says, breaking away from the kiss.
You chuckle, “yes, Wakatoshi, I accept your offer,” and you’ve never seen him smile wider. A big, toothy grin coming from the infamously stoic dude. He kisses you again, “thank you, baby.”
He unbuckles your seatbelt, hastily running from his side to yours and opening the door for you, and just like the universe is rooting for the both of you, your shoe laces come undone, again.
7K notes · View notes
lolokouhm · 7 months
Text
| Suguru doesn't eat, but tonight he's hungry | smutty smutty smut | tattooed Geto | depressed Geto | kinda poetic | Geto is young and beautiful and not crazy |
Tumblr media
„You haven’t eaten, have you?”
No, Suguru hasn’t eaten.
It’s not like you’re surprised. He’s lost weight - nah, he’s been losing weight steadily for the past few weeks. People say that it’s hard to notice when you see someone regularly, but it’s not hard at all - especially in his case. You’re not sure what’s changed exactly. Suguru still looks relatively healthy, not underweight, but the dark circles under his eyes speak volumes.
You sigh and walk into his apartment. It’s surprisingly neat, to the point it’s a bit scary - so clean it gives an impression as if no living person could function there. And maybe that’s exactly how it is. Maybe that tall, handsome guy in black sweats that greets you is not a person anymore, but a ghost. It’s a question you constantly ask yourself in your head, but never dare to answer. Your heart would break. 
„I wasn’t hungry.” A smile appears on his pale face and you sigh again. 
You’ve been friends with Suguru since high school, but after your last year you went your separate ways, just to meet again years later - just a few months ago. He didn’t change much, at least not visually - except for his arms. He might have gone a little bit crazy on ink there, and that’s exactly what got the two of you talking again. Tattoos. You’ve never expected Suguru Geto, that sophisticated, awfully smart Geto would cover both of his arms in the most insane pieces of art you’ve ever seen. You’ve had your own share of ink under your skin, but your collection was quite messy and not that cohesive. You liked trying new styles, creating your own map of memories from different places and different artists, while his tattoos were definitely an artwork made by one man. You had a million questions, he was happy to answer - that’s how you ended up in his apartment for the first time. Soon you realised you had a million subjects to go through - politics, art, even God. It was easy, talking with him. It was fun.
And then it began - the movie nights, when the two of you were going through different eras of cinema alphabetically, also bringing snacks that would start on the same letter as the movie you were watching. A stupid idea that you shamelessly stole from „The Barbie Diaries” - the first movie you’ve watched together and the first one that left Suguru completely traumatised. 
„Luckily for you, today we’re watching The Notebook, so we’ll be having noodles. What kind of noodles do you want, sir?”, you ask, handing him an invisible microphone.
Suguru chuckles. 
„Spicy.” 
A few clicks later the food is already on its way and the two of you get comfortable on his huge couch. The projector starts warming up and you look around - it’s completely dark inside and if it weren’t for the fact you know Suguru well, you’d think he made the apartament that way so the two of you could watch the movie comfortably. Your gaze goes back to him - his body hunching over the laptop, fighting with Netflix again. 
The projector turns on and the movie starts, as the two of you hide yourselves under the blankets. Unfortunately, you can’t focus. You’re worried.
You’ve had some conversations about his depressive episodes before, so technically you know what he’s going trough, but honestly - you don’t. He doesn’t really talk about it, but if you could get into his head you’d understand how much he values your bare presence next to him. If you could get into his head, you’d know way more, but luckily for Suguru, you can’t. He wouldn’t like that. 
In normal circumstances, at least. Because tonight, he is hungry, he is frustrated, and he needs warmth. 
And you are anything but cold. 
So when he catches your eyes on him, he bets. If you turn away, he’ll let you go. If you give in, he’ll make you stay. 
Three seconds. That’s how much time it takes for Suguru to get closer to you and kiss you. 
It’s short, soft and sensual, but it makes his head go fuzzy, and when he pulls back he just hopes you won’t run away. Don’t run away. Don’t. 
You’re not running.
You’re sitting, legs crossed, just as you were seconds before. Your face is completely red now as Suguru’s eyes scan you carefully, desperate to see the future. Will you go? Will you slap him? 
„Why did you do that?” Your own voice doesn’t even sound like your voice. „The Notebook” in the background is now completely forgotten, the flickering lights on the screen keep on changing and throwing different shades on Suguru’s pale face. You didn’t expect that. Not that you didn’t want to or think about it, it’s just…
„I’m hungry” he whispers, and the way his voice sounds gets shivers sprinting down your spine. „And the food’s not here yet.” 
„Yeah. It’s not.” He still keeps his hands on your cheeks, right thumb gently brushing your skin, touch light as a feather. 
„What are we going to do about it?”, he murmurs, words are barely audible. He’s waiting. There’s another unspoken question hanging between the two of you, and you’re the one who needs to answer.
And that’s exactly what you do. 
Both of your hands are suddenly gripping onto his hoodie as you lean into him, lips crashing yet again, just with much bigger force this time. Suguru’s breath shakes as he finally comprehends that he won the bet and a smile crawls onto his face. You’re kissing him. His ray of sunshine. Well, maybe not his yet, but when he’s done with you, that’s exactly how you will be.
And that’s exactly what he does. 
His lips travel down your jaw, stop for a second under your ear and then go straight to your neck as your hands let go of his hoodie and find their way to his hair, gripping desperately on the black strands loosely caught in a bun. He groans at the feeling as he bites the skin of your exposed collarbone, his fingers playing with the hem of your blouse, eager to feel more and more of you. Suguru looks up and tries his best not to moan at the sight of your face, your lipstick completely devoured. 
„Can I?”, a hoarse whisper leaves his throat, but it’s not even a question. He’s begging you. 
And you let him. 
He takes his own hoodie of as you take off yours - and you can see them again. The artwork on his arms. You lean your body against the pillows on the right side of the couch and Suguru gulps. He’s been imagining that for a while now, but the reality, for the first time in fucking forever, was so, so much better. His lips go back to sucking and licking your skin and by the moment he reaches your breasts you whine. His hot tongue plays with your nipples, making you impossibly wet, and the bare sight of him shirtless in those awfully beautiful sweats is not helping at all. A part of you is relieved - his muscles are still there, tensing a bit with every movement. And when he pulls away for a moment, you notice it.
„You’ve got a new one.” A koi fish, on his ribs, drawn as usual in a traditional style, this time with a bit of colour. Red. Your favourite. Your hand is shaking, but you can’t help yourself. You trace the shape of the tattoo, his hot skin under your fingertips feeling like fire. You are in awe - even more when you look at him again, breathing heavily. A god. He looks like a god. 
And then he proceeds to make you feel like you’re nowhere but in heaven.
He’s not hungry anymore - by the time you’re completely naked he’s starving. His name escapes your lips when his grip on your thighs gets tighter, and then it hits you - his tongue finally making contact with the place you needed him in so desperately. Your hands find his hair again, pulling it relentlessly when he inserts two slender fingers inside of you, at the same time licking your clit. Suguru’s ravenous. You could be his breakfast, his lunch, his dinner, his dessert - everything. He could eat you out all the time, no breaks, no thoughts, no objections. He tries to control his own hips that have been grinding into the couch for a while now, but the feeling of you on his tongue isn’t making it any easier. 
„Suguru…” your voice comes back to you, a familiar feeling slowly building up inside of your stomach. „I’m so close.” 
You really are, and your clouded mind is making the sensation almost unbearable. Suguru groans yet again, happier then ever, and then you hear it.
„Come for me, baby.”
So soft. So simple. Not a demand, by no means. An invitation - to fall apart on his tongue. 
You take it.
His name leaves your lips as your orgasm blinds you, back arching as you pull his hair so hard he groans. Suguru doesn’t stop right away - he makes you ride it out, drinking you like holy water. You shake and quiver and he thinks that maybe that’s exactly what it is. Holy water on his tongue. 
And so you lay, completely fucked out under his perfect body, and when he goes up to look at you he’s almost sure he’s going to come right there, in his pants. You’re so perfect. You’re so perfect. You’re so perfect.
„Fuck.” It falls from his lips as he’s taking these damn pants off and you gasp. „I just… Fuck.” He runs his hands down his face, your arousal glistening all over him. It’s like he shines. You might be going insane. Fucking Geto Suguru, hovering over you, his cock impossibly hard, looking for words. „Can I…”
Before he finishes, you lean into him and bring him down, pulling his neck closer to you and diving into the kiss. He pants and you get scared - it’s not reality. It can’t be. Suguru leaning into your touch, Suguru groaning into your ear, Suguru, Suguru, Suguru. His name carved all over your body, all over your mind. 
He goes in slowly, trying his best not to come right away, but he’s more than determined to make you cum again, this time on his cock. He starts thrusting, diving as deep as possible and then reaches for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. It feels so good. Too good to be true. He doesn’t fuck you - it’s way more than that. His lips move up and down your neck, leaving desperate kisses between pants and grunts. Suguru is in pain and you’re the cure. Suguru is the moon and you’re the sun. Suguru is the believer.
And you’re the god.
You asked him about it one night. 
„Do you believe in God, Suguru?”
He said he didn’t, but he changed his mind. He does.
His god is right there, under his fingers.
You come again, moaning right into his lips when you kiss, and the way you clench around him sends him to the edge. He hides his head into the crook of your neck and twitches inside of you, warm cum covering your insides as he pants, hips desperately bucking into you. You’re barely conscious, but you wrap your arms around him and hold him as he’s trying to catch his breath. His heartbeat runs through you and it kinda feels like you’re one person. Maybe that’s exactly what you have become. 
One. 
„Are you still hungry?” 
You can feel him laughing into your skin. Suguru moves his head up and readjusts it, so he can see the bite marks on your neck a little better. Like a tattoo. Another one to your collection.
„Starving.”
masterlist ❤️
1K notes · View notes
14thgalerie · 3 months
Text
under pressure
Tumblr media
• pairing: theodore nott x reader
• now playing: linger by the cranberries
• word count: 2.4k
• genre: angst
— an old piece that i never finished but i just wanted to post something because my account is so dead. i know exams work differently in hogwarts but for this one, let's just pretend that they do a semestral exam also.
Tumblr media
“Theo?” You call from behind him, as you enter the common room where he sits in solitude. 
He makes no sound to acknowledge that he’s heard you, simply continuing to stare off into space. Long, slender fingers rhythmically tapping on his thighs.
Ignoring this, you make yourself comfortable on the nearest available seat, angling your body to face him. “You would not believe what I got for History of Magic!” You excitedly begin and with much enthusiasm, “But first you have to guess!”
Again, a silence greets you. This sparks concern in you since it was very unusual behaviour from him. But before you could ask, he emits a curious hum, still not looking directly at you. “What did you get?”
“You’re no fun.” You playfully jab at him, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. “Anyways! I got an Outstanding! Can you believe that?”
“It would’ve been hilarious if you hadn’t.” Is all he says in a deadpan, hollow voice. “What do you mean by that?” You prod.
“Imagine taking all of my time just for you to fail once again. I would have actually thrown myself off the pitch. ”
The muted glow of the scattered lamps and candles cast shadows on the walls, creating an ambiance that mirrors the strained emotions between you and Theo. The distant sound of chatter and laughter in the dorm rooms only served to accentuate the silence that ensued.
He sighs, “I am tired. Tired of your complaining, of your whines, of your stupidity over such a simple course. You are so excited over this when it isn’t something to be necessarily proud of. You know…” Theo trails off in an amused manner as if he has realised something funny.
“I find it funny how you are sitting all proud and excited about this one exam when in reality, it was all because of me. You wouldn’t have even gotten half of what you had if it weren't for me or with the help of the others. Leeching off of us like a goddamn parasite who hasn’t a mind of her own.”
Words fail you, unable to conjure up even a whisper in your shock. You stand up slowly, breathing out an unsteady exhale.
The words break on your skin like whips, cracking and splitting open still healing wounds. 
“I have never asked you for anything, need I remind you? You were the one who insisted on spending your oh so precious time teaching me. Time and time again, I reassured you that I could do it myself because I didn’t want you to waste it on me. Yet, it was always fine with you and you were adamant on doing it so don’t you dare put this on me now.” You grit out. “I have no idea as to why you are acting like a rabid dog, snapping at me unprovoked, but nothing will ever warrant that kind of behaviour. “ You shake your head sharply, glaring at him from underneath your eyebrow. 
You felt yourself becoming dizzy with panic and anxiety, confusion with the whole situation making it worse by the second. It was spreading so quickly and far into the recesses of your soul that you would fall to your knees if not for the support of the couch behind you.
Not willing to have him see you break down from his nonchalant words that were deliberately chosen to attack your deepest insecurities— unable to understand how it so easily came from the last person you expected it from. You quickly move towards the stairs, ignoring the weak call of your name. 
Tick, tock, tick, tock. 
Seconds—or was it minutes— slipped away since you have made the decision to lock yourself in your room. Leaving the room before everything gets worse. Surrounding yourself with a number of inked parchments that are filled with hundreds of thousands of words, none of which your brain registers. Despite your earnest desire to find solace with work, it was all futile as they were only mere words on paper that held no significance in comparison to what was brewing in your mind.
Instead, an incessant question pesters you. Was it really something to be so excited over? Lost in a silent deep rumination, accompanied only by the rhythmic flutter of an owl's wings as they flew past your open window and the rustling trees to occupy the silence. 
Tick, tock, tick, tock. 
The clock is still there to remind me of the hours that have passed— 3 and a quarter to be precise.
Perhaps you were being too over the top but you hadn’t meant to. The pure, unadulterated exhilaration overwhelmed you after Professor Binns called you aside after your last exam. It had become an accepted knowledge to you that History of Magic wasn’t necessarily your strongest suit. Enough so that it would’ve been perfectly fine for you to receive a less-than-average result.
To hear how exceptional you had done this time, possibly even greater than many of your classmates, your mind instinctively went to share your achievement with Theo. After all, he was the one who patiently dedicated hours guiding you in your review and it took precedence over his own. Assurances, that came off as more of arrogance, of how he would do just fine and that he could ace it even if he wore a blindfold.
Maybe that’s where it all went wrong. Could it have been the lack of sleep before? He does get a bit irritable with a lack of rest. You’ve seen it personally in the weeks that lead up to Quidditch games. The fatigue, in addition to the stress of the final exams before the holidays, must’ve steered him into that state. 
Despite feeling upset and somewhat finding fault within yourself, you couldn’t muster up the will to apologise first. While his behaviour tonight could have been explainable, for goodness’ sake, the way that he has gone about it was unwarranted— shouting and hurling the harshest words that he is capable of, at you. The person that rejected every offer, made by him, because you were scared to impose on his studying hours. Now he cannot even be happy at what you had worked so dedicatedly on with him?
After spending hours in the cold and dark room, doing nothing but ruminating on the argument, you realise that you refuse to allow his words to dampen your joy and excitement any more than they have already. Sitting up straight, you stretch your arms wide. Swiftly tidying the scattered papers and dried pens into an acceptable arrangement in your trunk before you settle down beneath your duvet cover. Giving up on the idea of getting any work done when your mind was elsewhere.
The both of you made plans to have a sleepover in your dorm room after your roommates announced that they would be spending the night elsewhere. However, it will be safe to say that the idea had crumbled into non-existence after the heated exchange of words between the two of you. 
As you lay there on your side, facing the stone wall with your back to the door, you couldn’t help but reflect on your argument. A hailing storm brewed in the furrows of your mind, unable to piece together what exactly you should do. The only thing you wanted was to hear his beating heart beneath you as you lay on his chest. But you knew that it wouldn’t be right for yourself to concede.
Of all the ways that you’ve imagined for him to react, what had truly occurred did not even appear in your mind. It left you tossing and turning in frustration and confusion, unable to fall asleep in peace. Only the warmth and lasting scent of his cologne on your duvet keep you calm— the realisation that you couldn’t even properly be mad at him makes you huff.
In the silent war within you, you were deaf to the aged door groaning in protest as its rusty hinges emitted a creaking sound that left the person behind it wincing. Nor did you hear the unusually gentle footsteps that followed.
So much so that even the shadows that lurked within the walls would have thought that the footsteps were a figment of their imagination. In the way that the presence hesitated outside of your room as if they were heavily contemplating.
It was only at the weighted dip of the bed behind you and the hesitant arm that crept around your waist that were you pulled from your trance. Yet, you bore no intent of recognition for him even as he had fully suited himself behind you with his chin tucked in the crook of your neck.
As his presence enveloped you, he began with a slight tremor in his voice. “Y/N…I-“
“I could write and speak a thousand sorry’s and reasons for why the words had so easily slipped from my lips, but they will never unspeak them from existence. I promised your mama that I will never let a speck of hurt flash across those eyes, and I will forever apologise to her for breaking that promise.” A shaky exhale lines the last few syllables. “I was so unnecessarily horrible and mean to you without meaning to. So consumed by this- this emotion that flooded me, something that I had lost control over.”
Every syllable was accompanied by a hesitant tone that left the words sounding shaky; nervous. Coupled with the drop of tears that lined your neck right where his head sat.
You listened, listening to his apology, but the wounds were still fresh. The echo of his sharp words runs deep beneath your skin, embedded into your bones, prickling with every second you are reminded of them. The sincerity in his voice clashed with the pain he had caused with his words, leaving you torn between the desire to understand and the reluctance to let go of the hurt.
“You really hurt my feelings, Theo.” If he wasn’t already drowning in misery, hearing his name fall from your lips after he worked many weeks to be called something else had him gasping for breath. “I genuinely want to forgive you, but at this moment, I can’t quite find it in me to do so. You blew up on me for absolutely no reason. I need you to help me understand, to give me a reason behind your outburst, not mere words of guilt. Because even if you say sorry a thousand times, I would never be able to forgive you for clearly attacking me where I would greatly feel it.
His voice, meek in the tense air between the two of you, unfolded with a raw honesty that lays bare his desperation for this to be over.
“The exhaustion from lack of sleep and finding that I barely got a passing grade…It was a bit too much for me. I have no idea why it even bothered me when, for so long, I could hardly give a damn about these stupid exams," he shared, sighing with exasperation.
A pang of guilt and shame flared within your chest at the knowledge. The initial shadow of hesitation and guilt that crept on you the days before came rushing back in. You should’ve known better than to allow him to persuade you. Turning around on the bed to face him. But before you could wallow yourself in these emotions, Theo quickly puts your mind to rest.
“Don’t blame yourself, darling.” He tenderly pushes a thumb against the forming frown on your forehead. “I should have told you that I needed to study also instead of leaving it to luck. I guess I was being a bit of a confident prick that got used to not reviewing for an exam that I fully forgot I missed a few lectures a few weeks ago. I truthfully never had and never will blame you, not when I had been the one, adamant enough, to help you out despite your protests.”
His admission carried a mix of self-awareness and remorse. The vulnerability that was clear in his words began to bridge the hesitance inside of you to relax, the layers of miscommunication slowly peeling away. 
You could sense the weight he carried. Despite his casual indifference to his studies, you knew that it was something that he silently prided himself in. To have that be ruined in addition to the cumulative stress that built up over time with his hectic schedule. Being reminded that even if he may seem so perfect on the surface, beneath that, he was still human; flawed, vulnerable, and young. Although the hurt had begun to shift, not fully dissipating yet, it had turned into a sense of empathy that allowed you a clarity of thinking.
A small, understanding hum escaped you. The strain in your voice is gone now, ”We need to work on our communication, then. No longer hiding things from each other for any reason, even if we think it does not matter. Part of our relationship is to work our problems side by side, even if it doesn’t concern the other. We shouldn’t have things fester until it explodes on us.” 
He nods, burying his head back into the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you.” You gently pull his head back and look at him fondly. “And we need to also address the way you spoke to me earlier. Just because we were in the heat of the moment and lost in our emotions does not mean you have the right to do that, not when my mom raised me without raising her voice.”
“I’m really sorry. Merlin…I can still see the look on your face and I don’t think I would ever forget and forgive myself for being the reason behind it”. “I won’t say I forgive you just yet, that’s a boundary crossed for me. We should’ve had this talk in the beginning but better now than never. Let’s take a pause for now, and resume this conversation with a clear head.” He met your gaze with a blend of appreciation and a sense of resolve. 
Tumblr media
masterlist
654 notes · View notes
thinlyangel · 2 months
Text
TW⚠️🍽️
Everything I’ve learnt while researching how to overcome b1nge eating:
I’ve heard so many people say when they’re b1ng1ng, it doesn’t feel like themselves, it feels like something is taking over- and that’s true. You have your rational/logical mindset, this one knows how much you should eat, when you’re full, when you should stop eating, etc. but then you have your animal instincts, this is the one that takes over when you’re b1ng1ng, you can’t stop eating even when you’re in pain from how full you are, often you won’t even feel full. This is because when your body turns on animal instincts, you act without thinking, your body makes choices that rely on how you would usually react in that situation. If you’re faced with food and you b1nge, it will become your body’s natural reaction to continue to do that every time you’re faced with food. I used to wonder how I went from b1ng1ng for a day, to b1ng1ng for a week straight, and that’s because the more I did it the more my body considered it a knowing ability.
If you want to fight your body’s natural reaction, you have to change your actions. Nothing changes if nothing changes- I often see giving in to urges described in this way: once you start giving in, you create this demon in your mind, and everytime you give in, every b1nge, you are feeding that demon. The more you feed it the more power it has over you, and eventually it can take over. You don’t want to put that spirit inside of you, keep them out and your future self will thank you, so remember… DONT FEED THE DEMON. When you feel like you’re going to b1nge, remember that you’re giving in to that demon, you are feeding it and you are giving it the power to take over. It doesn’t matter if your b1nge is ‘just this one time’, because that’s not true. This one time is contributing to the power of so many more b1nges, and I’m sure you can remember a time you told yourself ‘just this one time’, and it wasn’t the last time.
That is a reason to not b1nge, but why do you feel like it in the first place? It’s really important to recognise that. This is my reason, and I feel that many could relate.
I always see people saying you b1nge because you’re stressed, but I never understood stress eating, sometimes I thought I’m not even stressed about school or anything why would I stress eat? Until I learnt that if you are heavy restricting, when the honeymoon phase is over you will most definitely be stressing. Stressing over things like counting calories, meal plans or weighing in… all of that causes stress. Not eating is causing you stress, so now you think that if you just eat you won’t be stressed, so you allow yourself to eat and in that moment you will finally feel relaxed, relieved. That is until you feel guilty and all of a sudden b1ng1ng is giving you stress. Then you start restricting again and you find relaxation and peace in things like meal planning or ⭐️ving… and eventually that starts to stress you out, this is what become a b1nge-r3strict cycle. (Some people’s cause for a b1nge can be different, you just have to recognise what yours is by finding a pattern, once you find it, it becomes easier to train your mind otherwise.)
To break this cycle, like I said you need to train your mind otherwise. Now that I know heavy r3stricting causes me stress, there are 2 things I can do:
1. R3strict in a way that is less stressful.
2. Find another way to deal with stress.
(For step number 1, it is important to try and fall in love with the process so that you feel comfort rather than stress.)
Step number 2 is the one I’m going to be focusing on. I often see people say if you feel like b1ng1ng, choose one of these things to do, and then they’ll provide a long list of different things. And although that list is a good way to find a distraction, it’ll work best to choose one and stick with that one. Find the one that’ll work best for you and train your brain to make that the new stress relieving, relaxing situation that you automatically crave. For me, I like to have a shower and do things like hair or skin care, not only does this relax me, it also makes me feel like I shouldn’t ruin all this self care with a dirty b1nge.
This next tip is similar but explains habit cycles more in depth. Your brain creates a habit loop like this:
1. Cue: a trigger for a habitual behaviour (e.g stress or a sudden negative event)
2. Routine: the habit. (In this case, b1ng1ng).
3. Reward: the result, feeling better (less stressed or relieved/happiness).
Because this is a habit, your animal instincts are again kicking in and whenever you feel the trigger, you automatically go to eat. To change the habit you need to change your routine to something that gives you the same reward. I mentioned how you can do something to relieve stress instead of eating, but there are other ways. For smokers, they are used to reaching for their cigarettes and holding on to one and smoking, to break this loop, they replace the cigarettes with lollipops. When they’re stressed they automatically reach for the cigarettes, which is now a lollipop, and they still have something to hold, they are still doing something similar and they will still feel that comfort, but in a less harmful way. So you kind of need to find something in the comfort of b1ng1ng but less harmful, it could be simply replacing your chocolate stash with an apple so when you go to your comfort b1nge spot you’re faced with a healthier food option that can give you the same satisfaction. You still feel comfort and feel the reward while also being healthier. (I’ve noticed that when I’m b1ng1ng I feel comfort in just stuffing my face and chewing, by eating something healthier I can still do that, with less regret. Also the crunchy texture of apples helps with the satisfaction of chewing.)
An interesting thing I learnt is that when you focus so much on stopping something, you are more likely to end up failing and giving in. This is because humans are action-oriented, and when we are faced with a problem we take action. Our brain is trained to think that when you take action you receive a reward (e.g your tire goes flat, so you fix it and receive the reward of the ability to drive again). This is called the ‘behavioural rebound effect’. To sum it up you will end up doing the thing you’re thinking of (thinking you’ll get a reward if you fix the problem), so instead of focusing on that thing, focus on the behaviour you want to replace it with, think about what you want to become. Instead of focusing on not b1ng1ng, focus on your gw and how you will look and feel when you reach it. Because if you’re thinking about not b1ng1ng, your brain still hears the word b1nge. This is why you give yourself something healthier to focus on, like your future plans or the lollipop smoking thing i mentioned before.
While making new habits to replace the b1ng1ng habit, you have to keep your stress levels low so your brain can actually consider the new routine peaceful. When creating a new habit try to get lots of sleep and try to feel good, if you feel good you’ll do good and if you feel good doing the new habit you’ll keep wanting to do it.
Next tip is to remember that food is literally planned out and designed to make you want more, you have to remember that you don’t actually want the food, you’re just giving in to the food addiction that marketing teams want you to have. For an example, your brain gets addicted to sugar, so not only are you constantly craving it because it’s an addiction, you also are lying to yourself by saying ‘just one bite’, because once your brain has that piece of sugar it’s been dying for, you’ll want more, and more, and more. So you should never give in to just one bite if you want to avoid a b1nge, and also, if you want to fight the addiction, you have to gradually (or straight away) cut that food out.
Also, if you constantly deprive yourself of something that you want, you’re more likely to fail. Keep your goals realistic so that you don’t drain yourself of motivation and will-power, slowly lower your goal if that’s what you have to do. You work better when you’re closer to success, if your goal is too far away then have smaller, stepping stone goals. Like if your goal is to lose 10kg, have milestone goals like 2kg at a time.
Another obvious thing is if you’re in a situation when you feel like you’re going to b1nge… LEAVE. Sometimes you’ll be forced to eat like if you live with your parents, but you’ll never be forced to b1nge, don’t ever feel pressured into b1ng1ng just because you got forced to eat something out of your plan. Unexpected things happen so you need to allow yourself wriggle room, if something gets in the way of your meal plan, simply making a quick change is better than letting the day go to waste by b1ng1ng. Another quick tip is your brain mistakes thirst for hunger, sometimes simply just drinking water can prevent you from a b1nge.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Also, I’ll continue to post new tips that I learn, and record my progress on how these tips work for me.
I hope this helps someone :) good luck!
673 notes · View notes
luvarrows · 4 months
Text
☆ : mean!dom!mizu headcanons
word count: 359
warnings: afab reader, mean!dom!mizu, spit, fingering, pussy slapping, overstim, degrading, grinding, crying, bruises, mizu’s just mean, etc, not proofread!
a/n: created a side blog for my horny mizu thoughts, i could not have the main be seeing this 😭 this is also my first time publishing this kinda stuff aaa ( scary ) hehe okiee i hope this is enjoyable. feedback is highly welcomed! okay love you <3
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
mean!dom!mizu who likes watching her spit dribble down onto your tits while her fingers are relentlessly working their way into your cunt
mean!dom!mizu who likes slapping your pussy whenever you disobey her
mean!dom!mizu who makes you sit in her lap as she spreads your legs out and finger fucks you that way using her free hand to make sure your looking down at how well you take her while she chuckles at how pathetic you look
mean!dom!mizu who shoves her cum soaked fingers into your mouth to gag you because you’re too loud
mean!dom!mizu who taps her strap onto your clit until you’re squirming around only to slide it up and down your soaking wet cunt while you whine and squirm
mean!dom!mizu who wants you to know exactly how pathetic you are for her, “can’t even do a simple task without teasing me like that? huh?” she asks, more or less demands as she smacks the inside of your thigh. you try to protest but to your dismay nothing would work. “should i fuck you like the useless slut you are, or should i go slow and tease you until you’re drooling and sobbing for me? either way, you can’t take it, all you do is beg, beg like a fucking slut. you don’t deserve my fingers or cock, but since i’m nice, i might consider it.” she growls and glares down at you with a look of pure disgust.
mean!dom!mizu who likes to bite at your clit until you start crying from overstimulation or frustration
mean!dom!mizu who pushes your face fully down while she’s fucking you with her strap, gathering your hair up in a ponytail before she pulls you back up
mean!dom!mizu who makes you gag on her long slender fingers if you keep talking too much
mean!dom!mizu who grinds herself down onto your thigh instead of your pussy just to tease you while you beg for her
mean!dom!mizu who leaves marks everywhere she can over your body, hickeys, bruises, handprints, anything she can manage
mean!dom!mizu who digs her nails so hard into your hips while you ride her strap she ends up breaking the skin resulting in some blood ):
759 notes · View notes
unluckilyimnot · 2 months
Text
catch your face before you can hide your blush
rayne x reader (mashle)
fluff
m.list
note: me thinking so damn hard about a neutral way to say "she's just a girl" bc yes it's a joke but not inclusif enough and ugh it turns out bad
Feel free to request! Take a look at the rules before :)
I hope you enjoy !
Tumblr media
 It’s not that you don’t like to work with Rayne, it’s the opposite in fact. He always has the right word, a good point to make and it’s easy to explain your point. But if there was one thing you had to point out, it would be how seriously he looks at you when you work. Or when he doesn’t have anything to do, in fact.
Yes, you were sensitive to his charms, but you don’t know if he’s conscious about it at all. Whenever he talks, you have to stay focused on what he’s saying without minding too much his voice, or just even his lips – which are usually dry, you wished you could hand him your lip balm without thinking of the indirect kiss that would create. You’re just a normal teenager, you lose it easily around your crush.
But right now, your real problem was that you were talking and he was listening. Which means that he, it seems like, has to look deeply into your eyes when you make eye contact. Things are, you can’t stay concentrated when he glances at you that way. There’s something so simple yet interesting, he’s drinking all your words as some divine speeches and your brain stops braining. You found yourself mumbling a few words that don't mean anything anymore, you can’t bounce back on you last words because you already forgot them ; and of course you don’t miss the way his eyes fell on your lips for a second before looking back at your eyes.
You can’t help but look away, a burning hot feeling on your cheeks and the second you turned your face away, something cold grabbed your before you could. Your eyes are back into his, getting lost when he doesn’t say anything, simply holding you still.
You’re alone in the library, it’s about to close yet you still have so much to do but it’s like time stopped. He can’t get his eyes off you, nor can you. Cat got your tongue for a few seconds that felt like minutes before you opened her mouth.
“Why do you always look at me like that ?” you whisper, scared that if you speak up you’ll break something.
“Can’t I when you talk to me ?” You’re losing it. Your mouth is dry and keeping the eye contact is killing you. If he looks at your lips one more time you’ll be a goner. Moving his fingers along your jawline instead now, he got a little closer, his nose brushing against yours. “So ?” he insisted, since he didn’t hear your answer but you only nodded at him.
Then his eyes took another peek at your lips, and he’s about to speak again, but you can’t help but lay a small kiss on his lips before he does.
It’s his time to be surprised but not enough to let go when you try to pull away.
“You’re really thinking you’ll get away with that ? Wait ‘til we get to the dorm.” 
Tumblr media
Freaking obsessed with this man as well lately. I'm not done with mashle yet but soon and I'm SO SAD. I loved it so much ❤️‍🩹
425 notes · View notes
dawn-in-neocity · 9 months
Text
“best friend” (™️) nct dream
(that is your man, you’re just in denial)
mark
y’all are only missing the relationship title at this point. you’re always the first to hear his new music. he values your opinion so much. loves lending you hoodies and jackets because when you return them they smell like you. tells you how cute you are 100 times a day. boops your nose and pinches your chin. sends you 360s of his fresh haircuts. shows up to all your events (sports, work events, art, fundraisers, anything you do). makes pinky promises with you.
renjun
you two slowly move into more than friends territory. brings you flowers “for your room”. picks up your vocab without realizing it. reserves his gentlest speaking voice for you only. listens intently to anything and everything you have to say. you two do road-trips and mini getaways all the time. vents to you. creates the perfect bite from his meal for you to try whenever you’re eating together. forehead kisses!!! will be the one to initiate the “what are we” conversation.
jeno
he’s simply your jeno and you do not wish to elaborate. his arm is always draped over the back of your seat. you’re together so often that his friends are confused when you’re NOT at his place. slips up and calls you babe (and keeps at it since you don’t seem to mind). you two are always in a corner laughing it UP about something. y’all dressed up as harley quinn and the joker for halloween. ALWAYS ties your shoelaces for you no matter where you are.
haechan
that’s just your bf i hate to break it to you. posts soft launch-esque pics of you two on his story. everyone thinks you’re dating. teases you by poking his finger into your side. why are you standing so close to each other? his hair is touching your forehead? move? plays with your fingers. named the stuffed animal you won him and now deems it your love child. places your legs on top of his when you sit beside each other. texts you “this made me think of you” at least 4x a week.
jaemin
he would marry you tomorrow if you agreed. makes it clear that it’s you or no one else for him. greets you with a veryyy friendly kiss on the cheek. 0 chill when it comes to pda. got you a really nice gift for valentine’s day. tells you he’s in love with you daily, just in other words. spam comments on your posts. SO flirty. blows kisses and winks at you type of flirty. STARES; like heart shaped pupils, dopey smile staring. “it’s late, you should just sleep over :)”.
chenle
has known you forever and has basically been your bf forever. regularly texts your mother. brings you to all his family events. affectionately bites you. holds your face in his hands and squishes your cheeks together. casually drops the most heartwarming compliments ever. never corrects people when they refer to you as his s/o. places your hand on his arm when you guys walk together. gets close to your face and pulls away when you’re about to kiss. dies when you do it back.
jisung
you two have never been just friends tbh. will bail on plans just to stay in and watch netflix with you. calls you a version/nickname of your name only he uses. asks you for head scratches when he’s tired. picks up on your moods so easily like how??? actively keeps up with all your school/work tea. always brings you a little treat when he comes to see you. forgets you’re meant to be low-key when he drinks and gets very… loving. y’all are always falling asleep on facetime.
2K notes · View notes
harrysmmm · 9 months
Text
𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 | 𝒅.𝒎
Tumblr media
Draco Malfoy x Y/N (f!reader)
Setting: Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince
Summary: where Draco has had a crush on you since forever, but you were dating Harry, until you two break up.
A/N: I wrote this in a day. Hope you like it! I might make a part two if you want it :) happy reading!
W/C: 4.6K
masterlist here
“But I am in love with you Y/N!”
“We’re always fighting Harry; it’s actually getting too much at this point.”
You and Harry had been dating since fourth year, when he asked you to the Yull Ball, but you’d had a crush on each other since you met. However, since fifth year, when the Order of the Phoenix was created within Hogwarts and Harry became more dedicated to Voldemort’s pursue, things had gotten out of hand between you two. You were constantly getting into arguments – Harry not communicating anything with you and you having to rip the thoughts out of him. You felt like you came as Harry’s last priority and although you had much love for him, you were sick of the ongoing difficult tension between the two of you.
“It’s not because we fight a lot that it means I don’t love you, Y/N,” Harry exclaimed.
You were both in Harry’s dorm, everyone having dinner at the Great Hall.
“But it does Harry, it does!” you added. “I understand you’re going through a lot but you’re always rude towards me, you don’t talk to me about anything that is going on and you expect me to know what to say to you, what to do all the goddamn time, I’m done!”
“Fine! We’re done then! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed – you know where to find the door,” he said getting in bed as if you weren’t standing there.
“You’re unbelievable. Good fucking night.” You slammed the door behind you and left to your dorm.
You spent the night crying under the sheets – heartbroken by the person you had loved the most.
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
“Y/N the Sopophorus bean shouldn’t be added now,” Hermione told you.
“Huh?” You were too distracted with glancing at Harry that Potions’ class was put on the background.
“Okay, that’s it, you need to stop looking at Harry. In fact, you need to stop everything that includes Harry,” she snapped at you.
You didn’t say anything because you knew it was true.
“It has been a month since you broke up, Y/N. And fine, Ron and I can deal with you both not talking to each other but you need to seriously start moving on.”
“Okay, okay, no need of a lecture.”
“What’s gotten into you today? You’re looking at him more than usual.” Hermione looked at Harry who was also looking at their direction. “And he’s looking at you more than usual.”
“It’s not the time, Hermione. I think Draco can hear us,” you whispered. Draco was always sitting behind you two.
“He’s focused on the potion, he’s not listening. Tell me,” Hermione said, seeing Draco carefully stirring the potion.
“Well, I don’t know if he’s told you, but I know he’s dating someone. I saw them both making out by the lake yesterday.”
Hermione didn’t know what to say.
“But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is who he’s dating,” you continued.
“Who?” Hermione asked, very shocked by the turn of events.
You stared at her before saying it. “Ginny.”
Hermione didn’t say a word, speechless about the confession.
“Yep,” you simply said, going back to the potion in front of you both.
It was a wild twist in the story because Ginny, Hermione and you were very close, and Ginny had been one of the girls that had comforted you since the breakup. The moment you saw both of them snogging you felt like something died within you. Not only because it clearly stated that Harry had moved on from you, but also that one of your best friends had been lying and pretending in front of you for no one knew how long. You hadn’t talked to Ginny and the tension between you and Harry had majorly grown since.
Hermione and you continued to work on the potion, unaware of the fact that Draco had heard every single word of the conversation.
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
Draco had been in love with you since he set foot at Hogwarts. Long before he knew what love meant and how it felt, he had tried to impress you indirectly, by flying up to the sky with Neville’s personal belongings, by applying for Quidditch’ seeker position, by walking up to Hagrid’s hippogriff and trying to ride it, by facing up Potter when he became a Triwizard champion and had asked you to the Yull Ball and by applying to Umbridge’s little inquisitory group to try and dismantle the order. He did all that for you, and although you were totally unaware of the boy’s feelings, he didn’t know of any other way to get to you. In his mind, you were absolutely unreachable. He was aware of how other boys in class talked about you – because needless to say, you had been categorized as the prettiest girl in class. Draco’s enmity with Harry had developed because of Draco’s jealousy on your relationship with him. You had been a close friend of the chosen one since first year, and even Professors had always thought that you two would make a lovely couple. Draco had had to bear the flirtatious looks of you and Harry during class; how you would clap at him when he was about to catch the snitch during a match; how you would kiss him at the Great Hall during breakfast; how you would both giggle together running through the hallways of the castle; how you would become very worried when Harry was told to face detention by Umbridge. But even if Draco knew that he didn’t really exist for you despite of all his acts, he couldn’t forget about you because you were the only light that he felt he had in his life. The thought of you loving him one day was what kept him living each day that went by. He would constantly daydream about you before bed, during class, in the Slytherin common room, during lunch – he was just so enamored by you. However, deep down he felt like he didn’t deserve you, that was the ultimate reason to why he had never approached you. And all his jealousy, fury and sadness tended to be projected onto Potter, the boy that had conquered your heart.
He had overheard your conversation with Hermione during Potions. He had seen your light diminish since the breakup but the day you had told Hermione you had caught Harry with Ginny, he had seen you at your worst. He couldn’t comprehend how Potter had treated you so poorly during the last year of your relationship and how he could’ve gone behind your back kissing the Weasley girl. He felt so protective over you he decided to confront Harry by the lake, where he knew he could find him snogging with Ginny.
“Potter and a Weasley. Pathetic. Does your brother know about this, red-hair?”
“Malfoy, get the fuck out of here,” said Harry, looking for his wand in his pocket.
“You,” he talked to Ginny. “You should be ashamed of how pathetic you are as a friend. Does Y/L/N know about this?”
Ginny didn’t respond knowing he was right.
“That’s it, septum-” Harry started saying, being interrupted by Draco.
“Expelliermus!” Draco unarmed Harry.
Harry approached Draco and they both started to fight with each other physically. Draco punched Harry on the nose but before he could leave Harry kicked Draco, the latter falling on the ground.
They didn’t stop until they were both incapable of getting up.
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
“Will you stop eating?!” asked Hermione to Ron, hitting him with a book. “Your best friend is missing!”
“Oi! Turn around, you lunatic” said Ron, seeing Harry enter the Great Hall.
He sat down in front of Hermione with a bleeding nose and bleeding wounds everywhere.
“Where have you been?” asked Hermione.
“Nowhere,” replied Harry.
You were sitting down a few seats away from the scene, wondering what in the world had happened to Harry. The answer was revealed when a certain bleached one entered the Great Hall, also bleeding.
“What happened Harry? Did you fight with Malfoy?” asked Hermione, having seen the blonde’s entrance.
“He was looking for it,” replied Harry.
Hermione looked over at you worried. You shrugged your shoulders in response. Hermione looked back at Harry.
“Harry, you should report this to Professor McGonagall.”
Harry didn’t reply and kept eating. Hermione looked back at you worried. You mouthed to her “I got this”. You thought Malfoy’s rivalry with Harry had cooled down that year but based on what had happened that afternoon you were worried it had something to do with the conversation you had had with Hermione during Potions’ class, even if you didn’t know why.
Dinner ended and students started to periodically get up from their seats and head towards their common rooms. You waited until Draco got up and followed him through the hallways. When no one was with you two, you called him.
“Malfoy!”
He turned around and looked at you, only to look away and keep walking.
You ran up to him.
“I want to talk to you,” you said.
“Why?” he replied, still not looking at you and walking straight.
“Can we stop for a second and talk? I can’t keep up your pace.”
He stopped and looked at you annoyed.
“What?” he repeated.
“I know you got into a fight with Harry.”
He rolled his eyes and kept walking.
“What happened, exactly?” you asked, running after him.
He didn’t reply.
“Draco!”
He stopped when you said his name.
“Why do you wanna know, Y/L/N?”
“I know you two were leaving each other alone until today. I wanna know why you fought.”
“Why don’t you ask your boyfriend?”
“He’s not my boyfriend anymore. We don’t talk.”
“That’s not my fucking problem,” he replied.
“Did you hear anything I told Hermione during Potions?”
Draco startled but tried to hide it. You still noticed.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied.
“Then why did you two fight?”
“I’m getting bored of this conversation already.” He kept walking.
“Fine, just so you know, if you did it for what I said during Potions class, that was not the way to go,” you said, still standing up. He kept walking. “But thank you nonetheless.”
He kept walking, still having heard your words. A smirk got on his face as he walked towards his common room.
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
A week later, you were eating in the Great Hall with Hermione.
“Have you already confronted Ginny about the whole thing?” Hermione asked you.
“No, not yet, have you?”
“Of course not, I don’t wanna get mingled,” she replied.
You looked up and saw Draco walking through the corridor. His eyes met yours as he sat down for lunch.
“How could Harry be so insensitive? And how come Ginny never talked to you before anything happened?” Hermione was still ranting about it – your gaze was still on Draco, as was his.
You didn’t know what had exactly changed since the day you talked to him but suddenly his eyes were speaking to you and you found yourself intrigued by his presence.
He looked away from you and focused on what his friend was telling him.
You engaged in conversation with Hermione.
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
You were studying for a Transfiguration test out on the grass field. You were trying to turn a cup into a flower but the more you tried, the less it seemed to work. You knew that you needed to have a calmed mind in order to work but you couldn’t stop overthinking Harry’s thing with Ginny and your encounter with Malfoy.
In the distance, you saw Draco walking down gripping on some books. He saw you studying but quickly looked away. You debated in your head whether you should go up to him but you thought you’d look stupid without having anything to say, so you decided not to.
You noticed another boy was also looking at you. He came towards you.
“Hi, Y/N” Harry said.
“Hey, Harry” you replied, without looking at him.
“Hum… I just came to apologize,” he mumbled.
“For what?” you asked.
“You know for what,” he replied.
“There’s nothing to apologize for, Harry. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to study.”
“Always making things so difficult, I’m trying to do the right thing here,” he finally said, getting pissed.
“Are you though? Because as far as I know the right thing had to be done months ago, now it’s not the time Harry!”
“You don’t know what I’ve had to bear with-”
“You never bothered to share it with me in the first place!”
“It’s not that simple Y/N.”
“Nothing is ever simple with you Harry.”
“Hasn’t she told you to go, Potter?” Draco appeared behind Harry.
Harry turned around. “What do you want, Malfoy?”
“I have a pending conversation with Y/L/N. Besides, this is not your yard, scar head.”
“Whatever,” Harry looked back at you. “Enjoy your time with Malfoy.” He left.
“What was that for?” you asked Draco.
“He was being a git, can’t bare it.”
You stayed in silence and looked at his books. “You wanna… perhaps… study with me?”
He looked at you for a few seconds. “I’m good.” He also left.
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
It was one a.m. at night – you couldn’t sleep, your mind going back to different moments of the last few months. You decided to get up and head to the kitchen. You had befriended some of the elves and as they were cleaning up maybe they could give you a cup of hot milk. You went down the stairs, exited the common room and walked through the hallways. While you were walking, someone carrying a torch approached you.
“What are you doing here?” Malfoy was standing in front of you.
“I could ask you the same thing,” you replied, still bothered he ditched you the other day.
“I am patrolling. I am a prefect,” he replied.
Right. You had forgotten about that. “I was just going to get a glass of milk.”
“Where?”
“To the kitchen,” you simply replied.
“Students don’t go to the kitchen. Especially at this time of the night,” Draco said, with disgust on his face.
“Draco, I just want a glass of milk. I can’t sleep,” you tried to convince him.
“You’re not going to the kitchen, Y/L/N,” he directly said. “Don’t make me give you detention.”
“Fine,” you replied, turning around. “Thanks for your help, Malfoy.”
“Anytime Y/L/N,” he replied.
When you had left his sight, you turned to another corridor that also led to the kitchen. You were going down the stairs when suddenly you heard a voice behind you.
“Do you think I’m stupid or what?” Draco snapped at you.
“I’m going to bed!” you lied.
“That’s not the way to your bed, Y/N/L, unless you’re sleeping in the Slytherin dorms – which you’re not.”
“Who says I’m not?” you teased.
Draco looked at you being fed up.
“You’re not a Slytherin.”
“That doesn’t matter. I can still sleep there.”
“Where exactly?”
“That’s none of your business,” you replied.
“It is because you’re lurking in the hallway at one fucking a.m. in the morning!”
“You told me to go to bed, I’m going to bed!” you replied, slightly having fun with the conversation.
“That’s not the way to your bed!”
“I’m sleeping with someone!”
“Who?” he asked.
“A Slytherin,” you replied.
“Who?” he repeated.
“You don’t know him.”
“Oh, I can assure you if he’s a Slytherin I do know him.”
“His name is Tom.” You couldn’t think of any other name.
“Well, either way, I’m not letting you go sleep in someone else’s room.”
“But I won’t tell, I swear.”
“You just want your glass of milk and you’ve made up a whole story to convince me,” he ended up saying.
“Please Draco, I’m really thirsty.”
He sighed. “I am going with you then. If you get on my nerves I’m calling Snape, Y/L/N. And don’t lie to me again,” he finally said, giving up.
“Thank you Draco, really appreciate it.”
He went down the stairs with you, and headed towards the kitchen. The elves had already left.
“Alright, go grab the milk and we go,” he said, leaning over the counter.
You started looking for the milk in different cupboards until you found it. You grabbed a cup and poured yourself some milk.
“Don’t you have to patrol with Pansy?” you asked him.
“Why are you asking questions?”
“I’m curious. I thought you had to patrol with another prefect,” you replied.
“Well yeah, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be the one in the same house as you. I’m patrolling with Weasley tonight but each of us go our separate ways.”
“I didn’t know Ron was patrolling tonight,” you added, realizing how long it had been since you had talked to Ron after the incident with Harry.
“I assume you’re still not talking to Potter,” he added.
“Nope. Not missing it either.”
“I have to ask, how is that you dated him? What did you see in him?” Well, that was an interesting question coming from Malfoy. “I can’t imagine dating someone like Potter, what a twat.”
“Well, I fell in love, I guess. I mean, he’s good looking, brave, passionate-”
Draco laughed. “Pff, sure thing.”
“And why is that you two hate each other so much?” you asked him in return.
“He’s always going around as if the world belongs to him for being the chosen one.”
“Don’t you do the same though?” you asked.
He startled. “No, I’m the one who puts him on his place.”
“He could say the same about you,” you added.
“What are you guys talking about?” Ron appeared in the kitchen. “I heard some noises, I thought they were first years out of bed.”
“Just came down to the kitchen to give Y/L/N some milk, she couldn’t sleep.”
“Since when do you do that for anyone, Malfoy?” asked Ron.
“I’ll suggest you keep your mouth shut, Weaslebee,” he replied.
“Well, I’m done here guys, so if you’ll excuse me I’ll go to bed now.”
“Go with her, I don’t trust her a bit,” Draco said to Ron.
“Good night Draco,” you said to him before leaving.
“Whatever,” he replied.
Once you were out of sight, he let himself relax again. Even if he showed the opposite, that had been one the best moments he had experienced in at least the last year.
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
It was Christmas break, you were in the Hogwarts Express to go back home. You were sitting in a wagon with Hermione talking to you about the past exams but all you could think about was Draco. You were constantly replaying in your mind what happened in the hallways at night when you two bumped into each other and you were slightly convinced he also had a crush on you by the way he acted. The urge to see him was so intense that you told Hermione you were going to buy something to eat and left the wagon.
You went to the Slytherin wagon and found him sitting down with Blaise and Pansy, two of his friends. You walked through the corridor to the other side of the wagon, peripherally having a look at him. You noticed he was also looking at you.
“This is not your wagon, Gryffindork” Pansy told you as you were passing.
“I’m just passing through,” you replied.
“Right.”
You hoped that Draco would say something but nothing came out of his mouth. You turned back and left the wagon.
What a prick. After all, he was still a pureblood Slytherin, and one of the worst kind, what were you thinking?
You went back to your wagon.
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
It was the day that students came back from Christmas break to Hogwarts. You had spent a lovely holiday with your family and you felt ready to face whatever was about to happen. Whatever except for what happened.
“Y/N, I miss you.” Harry was standing in front of you in the hallway.
“What?” you replied.
“I’ve been giving our situation some thought and realized I acted as a prick with you and wanted to amend things.”
“Aren’t you with Ginny?”
“We haven’t talked during the break,” he replied.
“Well, I’m not some kind of rebound, Harry.”
“No, of course not. That’s not what I meant.”
“Besides, I like someone else now.” It was painful to say but it was true. You were over the hills for a certain blonde.
“Who?” he asked.
“It’s none of your business, Harry.”
“Y/N, we can work it out.”
“No, we can’t. We’re done Harry, you need to move on.”
He stood up as you left. The whole situation had given you a sense of control that had made you feeling unstoppable. You felt this urge of confessing, for some odd reason. It had felt to so good to state out loud what you felt for Draco that now the only person that was left to tell was him. You didn’t really think of what his reaction could be, you just wanted to spread the word to him.
You roamed in the hallways looking for his face until minutes later you spotted him with Blaise and Pansy. You walked up to him.
“Malfoy.”
Pansy and Blaise, as well as Draco, looked surprise.
“What?” he replied.
“Can I talk to you, in private?” Blaise and Pansy looked at each other, confused.
Draco just sighed and stood up – both of you going to a quieter and more intimate place.
“What’s going on Y/L/N?” he asked you.
“Okay, so I’m about to say something to you. I don’t know how you’re going to feel about it, but I’m still taking the risk. Trust me, this comes as a surprise to me as well as it will come to you.”
“Alright,” he replied. “What is it?”
You sighed, your heartbeat being all over the moon.
“I like you, Draco.”
“What?” he said.
“I like you.”
“I heard you, but what does that mean?”
You started to feel the regret coming.
“I might have a crush on you.”
“You have a crush on me?” he repeated.
“That’s what I said, yep.”
“Alright.”
You stood in silence. “Alright?”
“Yeah, what do you expect me to say?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know.”
“Well, thank you for telling me. I’m going then.”
“Okay, see you.”
“Bye.”
You stood up there not understanding what had just happened.
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
A month went by and you hadn’t talked to Draco again. You felt so ashamed about confessing to him that you had tried to avoid him at any cost. He had left you so pathetically that you couldn’t bare the thought of him knowing what you felt. It was eating you inside. You hadn’t told Hermione about the situation. Instead, you might’ve agreed on going out with Harry again. You just needed to show Draco (and yourself) that you weren’t desperately crying in a corner about what happened.
You started then dating Harry again.
You were walking down a hallway when you found yourself facing Draco. You looked down hoping to avoid him.
“Y/L/N,” he said to you.
“What?”
“Hadn’t seen you in a while, where have you been?”
“Around,” you replied.
“I’ve seen you’ve got back with scarhead.”
“Yeah.”
“I thought that was over for you.”
“Well, it’s clearly not,” you replied.
“Good,” he said.
You wanted to die at that exact moment. “Goodbye Malfoy.”
You left withholding some tears.
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
It had been two months since the last time you had spoken to Draco. You were still dating Harry, trying to go back to how it used to be but things had profoundly changed within you. Your heart belonged to someone else.
You had gone to Hogsmeade to clear your thoughts. You were walking around the different stores and pubs until you saw Draco talking to Pansy in front of the Three Broomsticks. Something pounded in your heart when you saw how close they were. He saw you walking but didn’t engage in conversation.
An hour later you were tired of walking around and you were going back to the castle until someone stop you halfway.
“Y/L/N!” You turned around and saw Draco walking up to you. “What’s up?”
“Hi,” you replied.
“Enjoying the day?”
“Fairly,” you replied.
“You came alone? Where’s the funny trio?”
“I don’t know.”
“Not even the boyfriend came?”
“Do you see Harry anywhere nearby?” you snapped.
“Merlin, what has gotten into you?”
“Nothing.” You kept walking.
“Tell me, I’m curious.”
“I said nothing, Malfoy.”
He remained silent for a bit. “Is it because of what you told me a few months ago?”
“What did I tell you?”
“That you liked me.”
“Whatever,” you replied.
“You’re with Potter now, everything is fine, isn’t it?” he kept going.
“I don’t want to talk about it, Malfoy.”
“I mean, you were the one that got back with Potter, I don’t know what I’ve done in the story.”
“I said drop it,” you replied.
“Alright, alright,” he said, still walking by your side. “But if you want to tell me something, just say it.
You snapped. “Oh, so you’re expecting that I smile and laugh with you after I told you that I liked you and you literally left me standing there?”
“What did you want me to say? Besides, you got back with Potter!”
“You could’ve handled things differently!”
“Like how?”
“Like talking to me about how you felt, even if it was not reciprocated.”
“You didn’t ask me, you just told me you liked me, what do you answer to that?”
“You say something, you do something, for Merlin’s beard!” you exclaimed.
“Well now you’re with Potter, right?”
You didn’t answer.
“Because if you’re not, maybe we can talk about it.”
“Talk about what?” you asked.
“About us.”
Something lit up in you.
“What is it with us?”
“I don’t know, what do you want it to be?”
“Draco, stop asking me abstract questions.”
“I might want something with you, Y/N.”
You stopped and looked at him. “Something like what?”
“Like maybe dating, if that’s what you want.”
“You want to date me? Do you like me?”
“If I’m asking you to date me it’s because I like you, Y/N.”
“Since when?” you asked.
“I don’t really know.” He did know though, since you had said your first words in class almost.
“Are you sure about this?”
“Yes, why would I be fooling you?”
“I don’t know Draco, I don’t know.”
He got closer to you.
“So, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna date me or stay with Potter?”
You looked at him, he was partly smiling. You thought he was looking gorgeous.
“I like you, it’s not working between Harry and I,” you ended up saying.
“So you’re gonna break up with him?” he asked.
“Yes.” He couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He took both your hands and rubbed his thumb, caressing your fingers.
“I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time,” he said.
“Why didn’t you?”
“I never thought you felt the same.”
“But I told you I did.”
“I was too scared. Besides, you got with Potter so I thought you were in love with him.”
“Right, I’m not.”
He got closer to you, his lips approaching yours as he placed a short peck on them.
You laughed.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing,” you replied.
“Right.”
And that’s how you both went back to the castle, both your hands tangled with one another.
2K notes · View notes
itoshiexx · 7 months
Text
wonder
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
synopsis: sae wondered what it was like to be loved by you.
pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader | words: 800 | warnings: established relationship, tooth rotting fluff, sae is stupidly in love with u
notes: why hello! i'm barely alive! i know i kinda disappeared but i was struggling with personal issues and my mental health, so i didn't really have creativity to write. i'm not sure i like this either, but i couldn't let sae bae's bday go by without posting anything. also this is slightly inspired by the song "wonder - shawn mendes". thank you for your love and patience! <3
masterlist
Tumblr media
there are certain things itoshi sae would never admit. like the way he loved calm walks at the beach or how seagulls were his favorite animal. how he secretly regret hurting his little brother’s feelings when he was a stupid teenager. how his life was way lonelier than the world could even imagine, making him hate the walls of his oh so empty apartment.
mostly, he would never admit he wondered what it was like to be loved — not just by anyone, though, but to be loved by you.
he’s not sure when it started. he can’t pinpoint the exact moment his heart began beating faster and his black and white world was filled with color, but he does know that, inevitably, it all comes back to you, like you’re some sort of big bang that created his whole existence. itoshi sae doesn’t think he was actually himself before he became yours.
if you ask him, he’d say it’s a bit pathetic, really. he was never a guy that cared about romance, and he definitely didn’t believe in the concept of a love that could sweep you off your feet, like the hollywood movies desperately tried to sell. perhaps one of the reasons he liked you so much was because you managed to prove him wrong, and not many people were able to do that. 
sae was usually right. but you, in his life — that was even more right than his stupid beliefs. 
“sae, i need to get up,” your voice breaks him from his stupor, and, instinctively, his hold on your waist tightens. it’s some sort of protection, he thinks. not to you, but to protect him from the pain of having you stray away. 
(he never wants to let go).
the football player twists his body to trap you even further on the mattress, burying his face on your chest and tangling his legs with yours. your giggle reverberates through his whole body and brings warmth to his cheeks. his heart flutters, and he can’t even find it in him to hate it. 
you must have put a spell on him, he concludes.
“i’m serious. i need to make breakfast,” you say again when he doesn’t answer.
“don’t wanna.”
“you don’t want breakfast?”
“nuh-uh.”
you giggle again, and this time, you seem to give in, relaxing your body and welcoming him in your embrace. sae can only sigh in satisfaction when you card your fingers through his reddish-brown locks, relishing in the peace only you seem to be able to give him.
“i wonder what people would think if they knew how clingy the all mighty itoshi sae can be,” the teasing lit in your tone doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and you earn a scoff.
“shut up,” he quips, although there’s no real bite in it. “you love me.”
and you must not be from this world, because it’s easy — the way you pick up on any slight nuance of his voice or demeanor. it’s so fucking easy for you to read him like an open book and to give the reassurance he so desperately needs; albeit unaware. 
your voice becomes impossibly soft, “i do, baby. i love you so much.”
you kiss his forehead, and after wandering around for so long, sae thinks he’s finally home. 
for a while, you two just stay there, in bed, wrapped in each other in a way you can’t know where he starts and where you end. the thought of being one with you makes him happy, but that’s just another item in his long list of things he would never admit. 
your sweet voice breaks the silence. 
“we’re gonna be in bed all day?” there’s nothing but pure curiosity in your voice. no judgment — you never judge him, despite the way he deserves it sometimes. the thought makes his chest tighten with the amount of love he has harbored just for you.
sometimes he thinks he’s too small for it, and he’s scared all this love will overflow and consume him whole. though, it’s even scarier to think he wouldn’t mind: sae is yours. you can have all that he has and all that he is. 
“just a little longer,” he whispers, a little more vulnerable than he would like. but it’s okay. it’s always okay when it’s you. “please?”
you hum in agreement, continuing to caress his hair. 
“of course. whatever the birthday boy wants.”
sae allows himself to close his eyes and bask in your warmth, on the safety that you so effortlessly gave him. by smelling your perfume, he’s filled with gratitude for all the times he wondered what it was like to be loved by you.
“happy birthday, love.”
he’s glad he doesn’t have to wonder anymore.
Tumblr media
© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.
1K notes · View notes
cyb0rs · 10 months
Text
Astrology Observations
♡ Aries / 1st house placements individuals can barely hold a grudge esp when it comes to the people they love it breaks my heart how pure they are they can hurt you or be hurt by you and may get riled up in the heat of the moment but will forget it immediately esp once they’ve been able to communicate it with whomever they had such encounter with
♡ Also aries placements after any minor inconvenience:
♡people with gemini + 1st house or aries placements i’m praying for you and your restless asses rn. Everything about those people who have those placements in their chart at the same time is restless mind body heart and soul. Truly exhausting.
♡one thing that i personally find negative about 8th house synastry and it’s something that i don’t see anybody really talking about is how much you can forgive those who have their planets in you 8th house no matter what especially if it’s a platonic/familial relationship. Especially if it’s their moon.
♡i don’t see people talk about familial/platonic 8th house synastry because it’s just?????? It’s very confusing but i will say that it’s very deep it makes you usually love the person so much that you forgive all their mistakes and whatever they did just because you love them that much
♡libra placements can be ridiculously superficial. They’re also the type of people whose feeling are very much fleeting they can be so in love with someone and then when they’re done they can easily get up and move on and in some cases i have seen they’re incapable of having in sort of depth to them and i don’t think that it’s a very bad thing because for someone who has so many cancer placements in their chart i crave that kind of carefreeness so to say.
♡something i have noticed in intercepted charts is that the native can demonstrate all the traits for for both houses it lies in for some reason. Take for example someone that has a 29 degrees cancer rising and cancer is placed in both the 12th and the 1st house or in the 12th house only and the native also has mars in in cancer however the website calculated it in a way where the mars placement is placed in the 12th house in an early cancer degree, here the native can have both the traits of mars in the 12th house and some traits of mars in the 1st house. That’s why i sometime ditch the whole sign system.
♡Neptunian/12th house influence in a chart esp when it’s heavy makes me so sad:( they see the world in a rose tinted glass to the point where they give people the benefit of the doubt way too much even when they don’t deserve it. The world is so hazy to them sooooo so so so hazy. Praying for them fr. No matter what they’ll still be a lil confused and still living in dreamland.
♡pisces placements men except pisces sun men are adorable oh my god. Aries cancer and pisces placements men especially when they’re together in a chart creates the most adorable endearing sweetest men ever when they’re developed. Like i could cry rn:( not to mention that they’re usually soooo easy on the eye. Pretty boys typa thing ♥️
♡if anyone wants to see how an 8th house synastry can play out just watch the movie damage (1992) the guy was literally sick to his stomach and almost lost his mind. their connection was a bit taboo.
Tumblr media
♡leo in your chart shows where you’re envied the most. Example: if you have leo in the 2nd house people may envy you because of your belongings and anything that you own basically be it clothes jewelry properties whatever. Leo in the 4th house people can envy you because of how great your family is or your home or home life in general and so on.
♡been seening so many scorpio girls that are mean girls wannabes. It’s not working babes:( it’s ok that you’re empathetic bc at the end of the day you’re a water sign. It takes lots of nonchalance for it to be a thing for you and you’re anything but nonchalant.
♡venusian risings + cancer risings are the most beautiful in my opinion. cancer is an honorable venus baby bc of how beautiful they can be.
♡forever in love with saturnians’ bone structure esp cap risings and saturn on the asc natives<3
♡aries stellium/1st house stellium natives are not to be fucked with. When they’re developed, they’re warm blooded animals they don’t need validation bc they’re internally stable and their opinion of themselves IS what matters most yet they receive attention like it’s nobody’s business and are intimidating as hell.
♡sometimes I genuinely feel bad for people with virgo placements i can’t imagine how hard they are on themselves. You’re doing better than you think you’re doing cut yourself some slack and breathe. Sometimes it’s totally fine to do nothing and not feel bad for it. It’s also fine if you’re not perfect and yes you will be loved. And also nobody judges you or think less of you than you do to yourself.
♡sagittarius placements people esp suns are just so interesting to me. you know that scene of gina linetti from brooklyn 99 where the psychologists were evaluating her at a party? that’s literally how i feel about sags. Love yall random asses mwah.
Tumblr media
♡also in my perfectly sound opinion i believe that most fire placements have amazing hair not only leos. The same thing applies to water signs’ eyes.
♡pisces suns show that they care more than they actually do lol they’re about just as two faced, changeable, inconsistent as geminis.
♡pisces and sag suns are seriously the two sun signs that i feel like can move on from anything pretty quickly. even if they pretend that they’re sad it’s just for show and attention. They’re like the air signs of their respective elements haha.
♡just saw kim kardashian’s chart and noticed that she has pluto and saturn in the 10th house it could be why the world is so divided on their opinion of her and why everyone has such a strong opinion of her. It’s either they love her or deeply hate her and are annoyed by her. Either way people are talking about her. She’s also a libra with a pisces moon and a sag rising talk about fickle. I will stop here bc i could literally make this whole post about her. I might actually make another celeb birth chart reading about her.
♡idk anyone with an aries moon but i imagine it’s literally like having some sort of an unhinged mother. Literally just typing this made me feel uneasy like the energy changed immediately. Was she angry? Was she loud or domineering in the household? Did that make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around her? I also think that this applies to ppl who have moon-mars and maybe even moon-pluto as well. Ugh it feels yucky writing this one bc if that’s the case for you the by all means cut her off completely.
♡i also feel like that people who have pisces moon can feel very bad for their mother maybe bc they’ve seen her go through some shit. And it’s bad for pisces moons bc they could sympathize with her to their detriment the way the look at the world from a hazy spectacle bc the mom could be abusive and yall would still feel sorry for her and making excuses for her action towards you. Grow some balls and get the fuck out of there or in your case eyeballs idk.
If you liked this post and want a reading with me you can check my pinned post to book your reading 🐩 I do natal and synastry readings for now <3
2K notes · View notes
alicerosejensen · 3 months
Note
OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH
I JUST HAD A CUTE LITTLE SCENARIO IDEA. It is about vendetta! leon and young(20’s) reader series! What about reader sitting on the bathrooms counter/vanity while helping Leon shave? His hands are resting on readers tighs or around her waist as he watches her focused eyes. I THINK THAT WOULD BE ADORABLE PLS.
And i don’t think this counts as an ask, but if you’ll want to do something with this im not complainig hahah 👁👁
Warning: Fluff, mention of injuries, age difference (implied but not mentioned), Leon!Vendetta, Leon gets taken care of (this man needs a little love and devotion); talking about nothing.
I'm sorry, I'm too lazy. I write slowly and because of some eternally tired condition
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Coming back to you after so many weeks of silence was wrong, or at least unfair. To tell the truth, Leon did not feel that he should have done it at all, the doctor recommended bed rest, but it was all the same. It was not the first time he had been thrown like a rag doll, although this time he felt like he was on the edge, dangerously balancing between life and death, when Aris's claws almost pierced his flesh. At least Leon thought he was going to die thinking about you- the only good thing in his life in recent years.
He wasn't even sure if you would let him in, but when he broke out of the dark tunnel, the whole flight he thought only about how nice it was to return to the person who, for some reason, cared about him. You weren't his wife, you weren't his work partner, you were just a girl. The girl he was afraid to fall in love with because he always thought that this love would hurt you. Although it seems that only one was injured, and it was Leon himself, who came up with stupid rules for himself to protect you.
And here he is, you look at him without any malice, although it would be worth it. Leon really doesn't think he has the right to show up like this without an invitation, but he does, looking into your eyes with a guilty look, hoping that you won't drive him away and let him lick his wounds while he lets you love him tenderly.
"Come in," you nod head, letting him into your tiny apartment, in which Leon felt better than at home.
Although it looked more like a lone wolf's lair. It was much more comfortable and even somehow warmer with you.
Taking a step, Leon feels not like a government dog, but an ordinary person who is taken by the hand and let into a small corner of paradise. Maybe it will last a day, two or a week, but he will be a little happy and loved.
"Should I heat up your dinner?" You ask casually, as if he wasn't ignoring you and running away to drown his problems in alcohol. "Leon?"
"No, I'm not hungry."
"Coffee?" Again you offer him, but he just shakes his head negatively as he sits down on the chair in front of you.
"No"
Maybe you think he came here to end all the little things that were between you, but no. He just needs you as a salvation, otherwise his head will drown in regret.
All Leon wants is for his fight not to be in vain, but every time someone else takes the place of the bad guy, and corporations continue to create viruses that turn people into bioweapons. He runs his hand over his face, feeling the annoying stubble under his palm that should have been shaved off, but having drowned in alcohol, he didn’t want to do anything.
“I just,” he looks at you with a hazy look but completely sober, “Can I stay here? With you?”
Who are you to refuse him? But be honest with yourself, you want him to stay here, especially since his beaten appearance really said that he was better off not being alone. Under the T-shirt, bruises and abrasions on the face and arms and what appears to be a dislocated shoulder are visible. In any case, wanted to believe that Leon didn’t break any bones.
"You know that my answer is yes"
Leon doesn't smile. Just eternally grateful that he won't have to sit in his dark, lonely apartment lying on his bed again after taking a strong painkiller.
He sleeps well with you, he doesn't have nightmares, and he's just comfortable here. You can turn on the TV, watch an old movie with you and lie quietly, knowing that he will not be called anywhere until he recovers. There was work left in New York for B.S.A.A and TerraSave, but not for him, besides, he didn't take a shower before coming to you, fortunately you had some of his things, including a spare toothbrush and a new disposable razor.
And that was the problem. The problem with his shoulder, which you kept looking at without stopping, as if he had grown a third arm.
“Working moments,” Leon muttered, feeling that he really wouldn’t refuse your dinner. “Can I ask you something else?"
“Yeah, sure.” You really never refused him.
Tumblr media
Arias threw him against the wall, clearly sparing no effort, but thanks to the adrenaline, Leon didn’t feel much pain and was able to maneuver and attack this crazy bastard. The truth is that falling from a motorcycle does not benefit his body, which is why when everything calmed down, Leon realized that it was simply difficult for him to pick up the very razor that was now in your hands and do such a simple job as shaving.
“Just stay still, or better yet, sit down,” you said loudly, seeing that Leon didn’t like the touch on his neck when you tried to cover him with shaving foam.
It was already like instinct when they touched his neck. Leon immediately jerked to the side when he felt someone else's palm on his skin, as if the touch caused him pain. He never talked about how often he was grabbed by the throat, but from his reaction one could guess that this was a sensitive area that he did not like to trust to anyone but himself.
“I can’t shave you if you twitch like a little kid who doesn’t want to wash his face,” you joked, using your finger to spread the shaving foam you had on your hand onto the tip of his nose.
"Just...a reflex"
You thought about it, biting your lip, but Leon just exhaled, gathering his strength, knowing that you weren't going to kill him. He trusted you, so he calmly sat down on a small chair, putting his hands on your waist, trying to relax.
You saw how tense his muscles were, as if at any moment he was ready to make a jerk, his fingers squeezed the fabric of your tank top while you distributed foam over his face, trying not to overuse the product at the site of his abrasions that have not yet healed. When that was done, the razor in your hands gently touched the skin of his neck and gently shaved off excess hair from his face with smooth movements against the coarse hairs.
Carefully avoiding all the cuts, you managed not to hurt him. Step by step, you constantly rinsed the razor to remove all the hairs from it and walk it over the places where the stubble still remained. The most difficult thing for Leon was his neck - he felt too exposed and vulnerable, but when it was over and you moved to another zone, it seemed to you that he even exhaled.
In the end, getting carried away with the case, you didn't even notice how Leon was gradually able to relax and carefully watched your movements, finding you charming when you are so focused only on him. Maybe it's a little selfish, but for him you look so beautiful that he thinks about asking you to shave him again in a week when the stubble grows back, just to watch you take care of him again.
It took you a few minutes to catch his eye when you were completely done. The blue eyes stared at you with such attention that for a second you might have thought that something interesting was written on your face since he was looking at you like that. It's a little awkward and you look at him in response, stupidly blinking your eyes when you wipe his face with a towel, which makes a smile bloom on your lips and you look away.
"What's funny?"
To be honest, there really wasn't anything funny, it was just embarrassing for you.
"Did you leave me something like a mustache?" He joked and you burst out laughing
"Good idea! I'll do it next time."
Leon chuckled, because as a temporary joke, you could do that. That's just the accumulated fatigue that fell like a heavy boulder on him did not allow him to rejoice as much as you do.
"You're obviously going to amuse Chris," He sighed. You threw the razor into the sink and froze for a moment when you felt his head pressed against your stomach, relaxing in layers as you run your fingers through his hair "Thank you"
"No problem," you kissed the top of his head, helping him stand up, noticing how he hisses from the pain in his back when he straightens up.
"Fuck." Leon hisses in pain, catching his breath, realizing that maybe he should drink more painkillers and let a loved one take care of him. "I think I'm catching up with my age"
"Maybe. But I think you should rest and follow the doctor's recommendations at least until you stop needing painkillers."
"Until the next mission, you mean?"
You didn't say anything because you didn't know much about his work. After laying Leon on the bed, he finally exhaled with relief after looking at you with secret gratitude. Literally the only person who gives him warmth and comfort, and maybe he should come to you instead of washing down his bitterness in a bar. Thinking about it, Leon even thought that if he had stayed with you, he would not be suffering from his injuries now, however… What would have happened to Chris and Rebecca? But it's too late to regret what happened. He's alive and he's with you now. He lies in your bed listening to the usual chatter while the TV is on in the background and you settle down next to him bringing an extra blanket and pillow.
In the end, you just plopped down next to him, thoughtfully looking at the picture on the TV, pulling the blanket over yourself. Leon moved a little closer to you, hugging you around the waist, nuzzling your cheek, covering his eyes from fatigue. Of course you knew that he works for the government, but never what he does specifically. You saw the "DSO" marking on his gun, but you were afraid to ask him about it, although the fact that Leon has the right to carry and store weapons freely already hinted that he does not work in some average position and his injuries… one is worse than the other.
It is difficult to unravel the thoughts of this person, especially when he is completely immersed in himself. You know that he has some problems with alcohol and a couple of times you even quarreled about it, after which Leon always apologized by coming to you with flowers and other gifts. You turn off the light in the room, turning to him, meeting the tired gaze of blue eyes.
"Thank you. I rarely say this, but I'm grateful for everything you do for me."
"I know."
"Maybe you should find a better guy than me, but" he snuggled even closer and there was fear in his words, as if you could make him leave right now, "but I want to be with you. I can't lead a normal life, but being here with you feels like I'm becoming normal. Who he was before September 30, 1998"
"And what happened on September 30th?" you ask, putting your hand on his palm, smiling, and immediately see how noticeably even in the dark his face changes, becoming more gloomy.
"My first day working as a cop. I overslept and was late for my first day at work"
He could have said a lot and revealed his soul to you without fear if he hadn't been bound by the government. Raccoon City is classified information, and even no matter how much he values you, you shouldn't know anything about it. Fortunately, you do not pry into the truth, leaving his personal border untouched, and for this Leon is infinitely grateful. Maybe in a couple of weeks, when his injuries stop being so painful and his condition improves, he'll even laugh at what kind of mustache you made for him while shaving him again. He will really be happy and he will not need alcohol in this.
778 notes · View notes
ldysmfrst · 15 days
Text
American Mate - (4)
First Case of Alpha Space
Tumblr media
Paring: Hybrid!BTS Ot7 x Plus-sized Human FemReader
Status: Ongoing series
Chapter number: 4 of unknown
Word count for Chapter: 4132
Work count for Story: 16,244
Genre: Hybrid Playmate Au inspired by works created by @yoongiofmine
A little about the author: I am a mother of two beautiful children. One of which is special needs, and on 3/28, they lost 75% of their vision. I have had to take time off work to accommodate many MANY doctor appointments. I started a Ko-fi if you feel the heart to donate towards helping with the medical costs of appointments, medication, and modifications to the house, which insurance doesn't cover.
Warnings: (I am not good at this, but I will try. Let me know if I missed anything!!) NOT BETA READ!! This story will have a bit of angst, fluff, smut, f/m, m/m, and m/f/m. This chapter does have Injury, Anxiety, Panic attacks, comfort, Alpha Space, and Cultural differences.
Story Summary: The Hybrid K-pop group BTS is on tour in America; of course, things don't start out the way they should, but after an encounter with Y/n, things change but will everyone follow Fate?
Tumblr media
Is it really that big of a deal that you got hurt? My god, you were 35 already. You have never lived a sheltered life. You have had your fair share of broken bones, twisted ankles, scrapes, and bruises. 
You are always going on adventures, riding horses, and climbing things you probably should not be climbing. The external scars you bear are associated with stories that are good conversation starters when you feel like showing them. 
Things would be difficult for a while because you are right-handed. You have a few days of sick time saved up that you can use to start with. Hopefully, this will help you gain some kind of compliance from your award left hand. 
Work, however, is going to be the hard part. Luckily, your work is typically done on electronics, meaning nothing has to be handwritten. Even if you tried to write left-handed, no one could read it. You would bet money doctors had better writing than you did. Dictation software to save the day!
Hearing Derek’s voice broke you out of your thoughts regarding your near future. Watching him act cautiously while interacting with the other hybrid was interesting. There is clearly a difference in how he acts with Yoongi than Evie. Giggling to yourself at the mention of being a mate with Derek gains the attention of both. 
“Oh, sorry. The thought of being a mate, much less to Derek, was amusing, I guess.” 
You missed the slight frown that briefly graced both men’s faces. Derek thought you were implying he wasn’t mate material, and Yoongi thought you believed you were not worthy of being a mate.                  
“Thanks Y/n. I let you know that I am a catch despite being a Beta. Besides, this isn’t about me right now. We need to get the leadership involved with what to do moving forward. Are you okay if we bring in the others?”
“Yes, please. I need to speak with Director Johnson, fill out an incident report… um or dictate an incident report, and then get to a doctor.” Attempting to stand up, you are blocked by the golden-yellow eyes that have not stopped watching your every move.
”Mr. Min, I need to get some things done and take care of my wrist.”
Yoongi’s eyes narrow, and a soft growl pours through the room, causing your eyes to widen. You look over your shoulder at Derek with a ‘what-the-F-did-I-do’ expression, only to be met with a smirk.
“Y/n, I don’t think you understand what is going on. You haven’t dealt with a situation like this before. You may love hybrids but you still have limited interactions with our culture and this dynamic.”
Walking backward toward the door, Derek continues, “With the state of mind that Mr. Min is in, it might be best if a packmate explains.”
Derek opens the break room door to face Hosek, Teahyung, Namjoon, and Jungkook, who are all staring. “Oh, Hi there.”
Then, as if someone had turned the mute off, they all started talking simultaneously. 
“Is Yoongi-hyung dropped yet?”
“그 사람 괜찮아요?”
“Why does she still smell hurt?”
“Wait, wait, wait, please,” Derek puts his hands up, motioning to stop.
“I do not know Korean for one and for two Mr. Min has gone into full non-verbal Alpha Space and I  am not sure he will be coming out of it anytime soon. However, one of you should go in to handle the situation  and she needs to talk with Director Johnson.”
At the mention of the director, a low growl came from Taehyung, causing Derek to take a step back and lower his eyes in an automatic response to a displeased Alpha.
The scent of calming leather gently flows over the group at the door as Namjoon steps forward. His mind is still reeling a million miles a second with you being their mate and you being injured. To top it off, Yoongi is on a deep level of Alpha Space.
“Sorry about that. I can come in, but the director is busy at the moment dealing with the playmates, corporate office, and Manager Sejin,” Namjoon apologizes as he enters the room.
He follows Derek to where his packmate and Y/n are situated at a table. Taehyung and Jungkook follow quickly.
They both kneel respectfully behind Yoongi. Their Alphas recognize that Yoongi is currently in charge of you, and it would be unwise to display anything that could be considered a threat by approaching you too quickly.
They both need to be close to you, and their instincts to be with their injured mate drive their actions. Looking you over for injuries, their eyes resting on your wrist with furrowed brows and set jaws. 
Taehyung’s eyes change to crystal blue as his tail flickers almost in time with Yoongi’s as he slips into Alpha Space. 
“Namjoon-hyung, Y/n is hurt. She needs a hospital, I think,” Jungkook says, his ears standing straight up on his head, one-pointedly focused on you and the other twitching between his Prime Alpha and the door. 
“It is not that big of an issue, Mr. Jeon, Mr. Min, and Mr. Kim.” Looking up from the trio in front of you and addressing the Prime Alpha, “Sir, I have specific protocols to follow due to company procedure. I have to talk with the Director.” 
A growl from one of the men in front of you freezes your words, unsure of what you did to cause their reactions. Internally, you groan because it seems all you get from them are growls, as if you vex them more than you humanly possible. 
“Miss Y/n, we have already talked to Director Johnson,” Namjoon says with a look of distaste. 
“He has been informed that you are now under the care of Bangtan Pack following hybrid customs.  It would be wise to refrain from talking about him at the moment, he did not leave a good impression with the pack.”
Your brows scrunch in confusion, making the hybrids want to coo at your cute face. Clearing his throat (aka his mind), Namjoon continues, “We have more pressing matters to attend to besides paperwork.” 
“You are injured, and we have to get you to a doctor. Manager Sejin is currently contacting one of our personal physicians that we normally use while on tour to have you treated.”
“What? Why would I use your doctor? I can just go to the local clinic.” Your scent spikes almost like a heavy perfume with anxiety with the flashbacks of your nightmare. 
“Please, I have taken up much of your time, and caused enough problems as it is. I can take care of myself. I don’t want to be a bother.”
At your words, you are surrounded by multiple growls and watched by now golden-yellow, crystal blue, and smokey gray eyes. Scooting back in the chair, you nervously ask, “Derek, what did I do?”
“Y/n, you really don’t get it do you? For as smart as you are, sometimes you can be oblivious.” He smiles and shakes his head, stepping back from the group and heading towards the door.
“Mr. Kim, as Prime Alpha, you might want to explain what is happening and what she should be expecting. Mind you, she has been fiercely independent for the last 15 years of her life.”
“I wish you the best with her. It won’t be easy, trust me, I know. Good Luck.” Derek bows slightly to Namjoon once he reaches the break room door.
Looking at you again, this time with a smile filled with adoration for his best friend and what he thinks your future may hold, Derek says, “Relax and have fun.” Then he turns and leaves the room. 
Tumblr media
As Derek leaves the room, he smiles at the remaining pack guarding the door. “Mr. Kim, Mr. Jung, and Mr.Park, I think your human does not understand what is happening.”
“Our human? So you know?” Seokjin questions with wide, cautious eyes.
Derek looks over his shoulder at the closed break room door. “At first, I thought it was just a typical Alpha reaction with him being the cause of Y/n getting injured, but his care and gentleness seemed to come from somewhere deeper. Add on the fact that your other two are fighting Alpha space. It would be hard to miss.”
“The other two?” someone asks.
Shaking his head, Derek looks back at the remaining three. “Yes, the younger Mr. Kim and Mr. Jeon’s Alphas surfaced just before I left. Your Prime Alpha is going to try to sort things out, but he may need some back up.”
“Meanwhile I am going to find our boss and see what needs to be done before you all run  away with her.” Derek leaves the pack to mull over the new information.
“Tae has never been one to control his Alpha well when one of us is hurt. I am not surprised if he slipped once near her. Kook always runs on instinct too, so it makes sense he slipped as well,” Seokjin contemplates. 
“Should we stay out here? Miss y/n’s pack member said it would be better to go in and help Namjoon? Three of us in Alpha space with an injured mate is not going to be easy,” Hosek adds. 
Nibbling on his lower lip, Jimin thinks of ways to handle the situation. Even though he is one of the younger packmates, keeping the pack calm is his gift. 
He just doesn’t know how to handle you yet, especially since you don’t know what you mean to the pack.
“Good, at least three of you are here, and I assume the rest have made their way into the room with Miss Y/n,” Manager Sejin says while walking up to the group. 
“I have spoken with Big Hit, the Director at Playmate Service Incorporated, and Dr. Blackwell. Everyone is onboard and the doctor is ready to go.”
“Thank you,” Seokjin says, feeling relief that no one seems to be fighting this. “Namjoon is in with the rest of the pack and Miss Y/n, we should go in. From what Mr. Gulley says, Miss y/n does not seem to understand the situation to the fullest. I just hope that Namjoon can clear some things up.”
Tumblr media
“Relax and have fun? What does he mean by that?” You mumble as you glare at the now-closed door that one of your best friends just shut. 
He willingly left you with four Alpha male idols. 
Three of them are kneeling on the floor with non-human eyes, and the Prime Alpha, looking around the room like the way to explain what's happening is painted on the walls.
Taking a breath, you say, “Mr. Kim, Prime Alpha… Sir. Derek is right. I have no actual experience with Alphas. I can tell that there must be some kind of instinctual drive going on, and there are trigger words or actions.”
“I don’t want to cause any more trouble than I already have. What do I do to make it easier for your pack?”
At your words, the kneeling Alphas gave a multitude of pleasant chirps. You looked at the three of them, a little confused. They seemingly smiled and made almost the same sound at what you said.
Okay, so they can growl and chirp. Your curiosity spikes when you think of what other animal-like sounds they can make as hybrids.
Drawing your attention back to him, Namjoon finds the words to explain what is happening, “Miss Y/n, you have done so much to help the Bangtan Pack feel welcome today.”
With a gentle smile, he continues, “So please relax, you have not caused any trouble, and we highly doubt that you will.” 
Thinking to himself, ‘At least, not in the way you seem to be thinking.’
“Alpha’s run with a higher level of instinct than your Beta packmember. As an Alpha, Yoongi instinctually feels responsible for your injury. In order to calm that instinct, a few things will most likely need to happen.” 
Watching as you seem to sit up with interest, he continues, “First things first, he and his Alpha need to get at least your injury treated.”
“He has to be the one to take me to get it treated? I can’t have him go with me to the clinic! There are fans and sasaengs and the media! What about your schedule? You always hear about the tight schedules Idols have and you have already spent all afternoon here over this.”
You start panicking about the hordes of people you hear about following the band around. God, the amount of bad publicity that would come from catching you and THE Suga of BTS at a clinic. You can’t imagine what nonsense they would come up with?
Your scent goes into an even heavier version; it takes on an almost alcoholic aspect. The kneeling Alphas instinctually send out calming pheromones while moving closer. 
Yoongi’s tail, still wrapped around your ankle, tightens while he gently rubs the back of your injured hand, which he is cradling protectively. 
Taehyung starts to purr softly, hoping that the sound will comfort you. 
Jungkook, on instinct alone, scoots up to your left side, nudges his head under your left hand, and rests on your leg.
The feeling of Jungkook’s head on your leg snaps you out of your thoughts and brings you back into the room. You hold still as you start to recognize similar comforting behaviors the Alphas are doing with those that Evie always does, allowing you to take a deep breath.
“Sorry. I was raised to take care of myself and not impose on others.”
“Miss Y/n, you are not imposing. Again, Yoogni ran into you while rushing out of the room, and it's his responsibility to make amends. Actually, as a bonded pack, it is our responsibility, too.”
“The pack? Like all of you? Is this why they are all like this, with their eyes and stuff?” 
Absent-mindedly, you run your fingers through Jungkook’s hair, softly scratching his scalp, soothing not only yourself but also the youngest Alpha. 
A soft chuckle escapes Namjoons as he watches your instinctual interactions with the youngest mate. “Yes, that is the best way to explain the eyes and stuff, as you put it.”
“Jungkook and Taehyung will find it easier to leave their Alpha Space since they are not the ones responsible for the injury but trying to be supportive to both of you.” 
Hearing a knock on the door, he calls, “Who is it?”
“Namjoon-ssi, it's Manager Sejin. I have some updates and a few questions. Can I enter?” The door opens slightly to reveal it’s him. 
At Namjoon's nod, he enters. The door remains open as the scents in the room are constricting in their density. He is followed by the rest of the pack, who take up guarding now from inside.
“Did you contact everyone?”
“Big Hit and the Corporate Director are on the same page and will follow the hybrid protocol, but details must be discussed once Miss Y/n has met with the doctor,” Manager Sejin reports to the Prime Alpha.
Moving to look at you, he continues, “I contacted Dr. Blackwell, thinking you may be more comfortable with a female doctor.” 
Glancing at the boys surrounding you closely, his scent changes with curiosity. He raises an eyebrow, looking at Namjoon. With a subtle nod, he confirms that something more is happening but does not move to explain.
Looking back at you, he gently smiles, “With the situation at hand, it may be best to limit other males around you until everyone is out of Alpha space. They tend to get territorial. Dr. Blackwell is on standby, ready to assess and treat you once we know where you will be.”
“Why wouldn’t she just come here, or I go to her?”
“Miss Y/n, Dr. Blackwell is a traveling physician. She doesn’t have a permanent office to use but she is well respected in both the human and hybrid communities.”
“Oh, I see. Well, umm…” you look at Namjoon and ask, “What option would be best for your pack?”
Namjoon’s chest puffs slightly at your show of respect to him as the Pack Prime Alpha despite the situation and your pain level. “Not to make you uncomfortable, Miss Y/n, but I think meeting Dr. Blackwell at our AirBnB would be best.”
You take a moment to think, your hand pulsing with pain. They cannot all fit in your flat; it's a mess after you tore through your closet to find the right clothes for today.
They don’t seem to like being here. Instinctually, even Derek and Evie prefer being in their dens when one of the three of you is hurt or sick. 
“Okay. If it is best for the pack, then I will go with you to the AirBnB and see Dr. Blackwell.” 
It’s almost as if a weight is lifted out of the room, allowing the pack to take a breath. 
“Yoon, Kook, and Tae. Can you give Miss Y/n some room? We have to take her to the pack house to see a doctor,” Namjoon says with a firm voice, gaining smiles from the men kneeling on the floor. 
Jungkook stands and curls into the Prime Alpha, his eyes returning to their natural color.
Taehyung rocks back on his heels but remains near. His body is more relaxed and his eyes are still crystal blue, shifting between Yoongi and you in wait.
After watching the two younger Alphas move around, your attention turns to the Jaguar kneeling with expectant but questioning eyes. 
 “Mr. Min, if I promise that you can stay with me, will you let me go get my things and then you can take me to the pack house?”
Yoongi’s face lights up with a gummy smile as he nods. Your breath hitches at the sight. How can the devastatingly handsome rapper look so adorable?
He stands up, his tail unwrapping from your leg. He softly takes both of your hands while he assists you in standing. You smile and mumble a small thanks as you step forward to leave.
“Prime Alpha, do you think I can talk with Derek briefly to let him know what is happening? This way he can talk to the direc… Boss. Talk to the boss and let him know that I am leaving for the day?”
“Yes, talking to him will be fine. He has been established as part of your familial pack and won’t be considered a threat to the pack if he comes around you now,” Namjoon answers, moving out of your way and motioning for the rest to let you pass.
Bowing slightly, “Thank you, Prime Alpha.”
Tumblr media
Making it to your desk is more complicated than one would think. 
Yoongi won’t leave your right side, while Taehyung won’t leave your left. Both act like it's code red and someone is trying to assassinate you. Then you have the rest of BTS trailing behind like some kind of posse. 
You keep your head down to avoid any strange looks or glares from whomever you pass. To your relief, you find Derek waiting at your desk with his head resting on his palms and a mischievous smile. 
“I see you are taking things in stride,” glancing at your plethora of bodyguards. “Did the Prime Alpha explain everything to you?”
Speaking up from the back of the group, Namjoon answers for you, “She is aware that we are responsible for her at this time and she will be treated at our temporary pack house by our doctor.”
You don’t miss Derek's look of concern as he tilts his head with curiosity at Namjoon. “I see, of course. You are just responsible for getting her treated.”
“Derek, can you please let the big boss know that I will be leaving with Bangtan Pack to seek medical care and once I have more updates I will let you both know?” 
Glancing at Yoongi and still seeing his lovely golden-yellow eyes, you try to ignore the slight flutter in your stomach, “I don’t think it would be good for me to talk with him myself still.”
Derek nods in response, “Manager Sejin has already given the boss a rough time frame for the near future. I suppose his managing skills came in handy. Don’t worry about us here. We can handle it while you heal.”
Standing up, Derek passes you your purse, which Taehyung takes. You try to grab it again, but only to have a black and white tail wrap around your arm and bring it back down to your side.
“No carry. Keep safe.” Taehyung almost grunts out in a deeper-than-deep voice, which short-circuits your brain.
Glancing at Derek out of the side of your eye, you see him briefly nod and smile encouragingly while he whispers, “It’s an Alpha Space thing. Best acknowledge his help.”
“Umm… Th-tha-hank you, Alpha,” you stammer out, willing the heat creeping up your neck to stop as your words pull a boxy grin from the Tiger.
“I think that is it,” you announce to nobody in particular. You smile awkwardly at Derek as he slowly approaches you.
“Y/n, you have been through so much. Not just today but in your life. You have always been the one to take the blame for others, working harder or longer than anyone else and caring for those who never return the favor.”
His eyes glance at the men surrounding you as he sees nods of understanding and looks of concern from them.
As a soft smile blooms on his face, he holds onto your good hand, “Take time for yourself and let this pack of Alphas take care of you. You deserve it more than anyone else I know.”
He pulls you into a hug. You briefly stiffen, waiting for the growling and pulling to start, but to your surprise, it doesn't. Relaxing into his hug, you take his words to heart.
A soft whisper in your ear, “You know you will always have Evie and me as your family pack, but right now, be open to the pack around you,” with one last squeeze, Derek steps back and returns to your desk.
“Now, shoo! Off you go. The boss said I’ll get to man the front desk for now.”
With a nod, you wave goodbye and face the hybrids behind you. After not finding Manager Sejin and a few others missing,  your eyes settle automatically on Namjoon, waiting for a clue as to what to do next. 
“Manager Sejin went down to get the cars. Seokjin-hyung, Hosek-hyung, and Jimin also went down because we won’t all fit in the elevator.”
“Oh,” you feel a slight tightening in your chest after realizing you didn’t even notice they had gone.
“Miss Y/n, let's take you to get looked at,” Junkook says while inching towards the office doors.
“Yeah, sure. Sorry, I have everything. Lead the way.” 
Tumblr media
You follow the bunny and wolf hybrid while still sandwiched between the tiger and jaguar. Walking through the halls, you gain some attention from the people you pass. 
You’re a mere human surrounded by some of the hottest Idols in the world right now. So why wouldn’t they?
Not willing to look up, you keep your eyes cast down to the feet in front of you as you try to avoid what you are a gazillion percent sure are looks of disgust and hate towards you.
Once the elevator doors open, the tiger lets out a low growl. Glancing up, you see two fellow PMS employees quickly scamper out of the elevator and down the hall. 
That added to the embarrassment for now and when you return to work.
Namjoon and Jungkook take the back corners. Looking at the men by your sides, they motion for you into the elevator next. 
However, when you go to stand in another corner, you are quickly ushered back into the middle with Yoongi and Taehyung in front of you. 
The energy calms down as the doors close. The four Alphas relax now that they surround you and will start taking care of you. 
Even if your trust in them starts with an injury, they know this is their chance to show you what it means to be taken care of, acknowledged as precious, and loved endlessly by the seven of them. 
As the doors part, you're greeted by the remaining packmates waiting for you, smiles warm and welcoming. They're surrounded by more men in black, whom you assume are bodyguards. 
Turning to look at you, Yoongi speaks for the first time since he entered Alpha Space,  “Take home. Keep safe.”
Previous / Next
Tumblr media
Taglist - Open
@braveangel777 @bethanysnow @smileykiddie08 @kayways @danielle143 @nenefix-on @im-gemmy @fluffy-canada-pancakes @staytinyville @juju-227592 @levislifeline @carolinexkpop @m00njinnie @drenix004 @singukieee @avadakadabra93 @dazzlingjade @sehun096rainbow @sunshinecallie
304 notes · View notes