If toph was the bad guy. . . Let's just say the GAang wouldn't've made it past season one
If Toph was the bad guy, her and her army of Badger Moles would have defeated everyone within five episodes and the only reason it would take that long is because she’d need at least 3 episodes to get motivated enough to fight.
•Being in a Relationship with Sevika•
Radiates Top energy.
Sevika is a dom. Not a switch. She will never be a willing sub to you either. Not even for one night. Not even if you ask.
Metal arm. The things she can do to you with that metal arm.
You're not going near Shimmer, fuck no. She's not letting you get addicted to that crap.
It's not as though she chose to have Shimmer in her life, after all.
Tries to keep her dirty business away from you.
Loves to have you perch on her lap when she's gambling. You straddling her thick, buff thighs as others watch, jealous and confused.
Sevika loves the reactions from other people, especially men who have tiny egos, when they see you two together.
When they see how devoted you are to her and how possessive she is towards you.
Sevika will flat out kill whoever looks at you the wrong way, makes a pass at you or even thinks about catcalling you.
It makes her very pleased to see how few people don't bother you now since word got around that you're together.
How even when she's not right beside you, just the notorious mention of her name and that you belong to her, is enough to keep scum away.
Though Sevika still secretly worries about you because you are her only weakness and she doesn't want enemies to use you against her.
She will never allow you to be hurt just because you fell into the wrong crowd.
Just because, somehow, astonishingly in her mind, you fell in love with her.
Don't even try asking Sevika to quit her heavy drinking and smoking. It'll be like talking to a brick wall.
But, you've come to find the taste of tobacco and booze on her tongue pretty alluring.
Acts like a tsundere almost. Will act like you bother her, like she's irritated at any attention you give her but inside she secretly enjoys it.
Okay, she actually loves it.
She loves having someone dote on her.
Someone to clean her wounds. Someone who genuinely cares that she comes home safe. That she lives.
And, now in any fight she gets in, all she sees in her mind is you.
Your smile. Your kindness. Your good heart. How she has to live to see you again. Live to keep you safe.
Sevika loves when you beg. She loves the way your bottom lip downturns when you pout.
She likes you needy. Needy for her touch.
Will never say she's sorry in any argument, even when she's in the wrong.
But, after giving you hours of silent treatment, she'll come home and pick you up in her large, dark arms and throw you on the bed.
Her "sorry" will be to make the whole night about you and send you into ecstasy.
Will probably never tell you she loves you outwardly.
Sevika's love language is physical. She will protect you. Fight through all of hell for you. Die for you. But, say those three little words to your face? She'd rather lose her other arm, too.
But, in the early hours of the morning when you're curled up between her caramel colored, muscular arm and the cold metal prosthetic, when she thinks you're asleep, something out of character occurs.
Sevika will actually cuddle you. Her warm, human hand, which is so often rough, will trace the curves of your body. Will tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
In her husky, deep voice she will whisper her affections to you. She'll say it into your skin as she kisses your neck and pulls you even closer into her toned chest.
You will never, ever tell her that you're secretly awake during those rare, tender moments.
Just knowing how loving and romantic she can be, when she thinks you can't hear her, is enough. It melts your heart.
Sevika has a rock hard exterior, damn near bulletproof even but deep, deep down, you've made her soft and her heart is all yours.
Encanto and Color Psychology
something i’ve not seen a lot of people talk about in encanto is how color correlates to the themes of the movie, more specifically the designs of the characters!!! i find this aspect of the film incredibly clever so here’s me sharing my ideas on it
color seems to be something very entwined with the family right from the start, literally - when they’re babies the original 3 kids already have the colors they come to be associated with. julieta’s is blue, pepa is yellow and bruno is green
but what really elevates the whole ‘color being a big part of the family’ is how julieta and pepa’s colors are passed down to the grandkids, and even incorporated into the designs of their respective husbands!
since pepa’s color is yellow, her side of the family wears warmer colors, and the same applies to julieta’s side but with cooler tones on the color wheel.
but the grandkids’ respective colors aren’t uniform, they aren’t the same exact shade as their parents - they’ve all got their own individual colors to distinctly reflect them and their personalities, albeit sharing the same range on the color wheel.
and their specific colors aren’t just chosen to differentiate them, though that could be a reason - but their dominant colors also line up with a lot of color psychology in really neat ways. fair warning i’m gonna get pretty in depth here lol
to put it simply, color psychology is the study of how external ideas impact and affect people’s perception of color, and how that can be effectively put to use to convey a message, idea, or trait. for example most people see green as being indicative of nature, growth, and healing because a lot of plant life is green and in a lot of cases green is used in media to indicate that something is good. its a very important aspect of character design as well, and in this case, it matters a lot with the characters of encanto.
staring with the first shade of the rainbow and going down from there, red is tied to dolores. red is a color that has a lot of connotations, but the most relevant of which is its ability to grabbing a viewer’s attention. because of its bold and bright look, statistically red is the go-to color to use if you want to catch someone’s eye. that theme may not seem to tie into dolores a lot at first glance but it does in a subtler way - since dolores’ gift is incredible hearing she’s always paying attention, and nothing, not even the sound of sand shifting, is something she could miss. red is an attentive color, and dolores is an attentive character.
next is orange, which is antonio’s color. antonio is the youngest member of the family, and as such he’s very optimistic and cheerful as most little kids his age are. he’s also very curious about the word around him and is still new to a lot of things, including his gift - the color orange fits this as it’s associations have a lot to do with creativity, fun, warmth and adventure.
camilo’s color is the closest to his own parents - it too is pepa’s shade of yellow, but a more subdued version of it thats just the tiniest bit less saturated. like pepa herself, yellow is a bright color with lots of energy. and in the same way it’s fitting for camilo, but even moreso the other connotations it has. aside from being an energizing color yellow is commonly tied to spontaneity, opportunity and enthusiasm. camilo is a laid-back prankster type who likes to live in the moment and play gags with his shapeshifting gift on those around him, so making his particular yellow less overstated than his mom’s pairs with his demeanor quite well.
moving onto julieta’s side of the family tree: we have mirabel, who shares her mom’s teal-turquoise hue, displayed on the skirt of her dress. both of those types of blue have a variety of different meanings from what i could find, but the most “universal” meanings are that teal/turquoise/aqua are colors that carry themes of good luck, communication, friendship, clarity and compassion and i just want to say that those meanings really tie in with mirabel, especially in the ending - while she may not have a gift herself, she does end up uniting the family in a way that they didn’t expect, all through getting to understand them better and communicating to them that they are more than just their gifts. even her color carrying good luck coincides w this - while bruno’s vision initially was misconstrued as her bringing some sort of ill will to the family, ultimately it was just a misunderstanding and she ended up helping the family way more than the vision led on.
next we have luisa, the strongest member of the family. her dominant color is blue, more specially a darkish indigo. this color has a lot to do with concepts of stability, trustworthiness, confidence and loyalty - all things that initially seem effortless for her to pull off but are revealed in her musical number to just be things she feels she’s pressured to maintain just because she’s perceived as the “dependable” one. blue has a double meaning here too - dark blue is a sturdy color but it’s also one that can invoke feelings of sadness or loneliness. much like her blue can be a very strong color but it can also be a very vulnerable one as well.
lastly we have isabela, the only one who’s main color changes in the film. her color, displayed most prominently by her elegant looking dress, is originally a soft, lilac-purple tone, a color indicative of elegance, grace, luxury and nobility. throughout the ages purple has always had an association with royalty and while isabela may not be literally considered royalty, her projected image of perfection and dignity over the other members of the family certainly carries that same weight. she’s the family’s “it” girl, she never has a bad hair day, and she always maintains her presence as a flawless person, up until she reconciles with mirabel. through divulging that she’s tired of keeping up an air of perfection and wishing she could just be messy and authentic, her colors become not one color, but many - she learns that she doesn’t have to conform to her family and society’s expectations and that it’s better for her to just embrace who she wants to be. her abandoning her former color scheme, one that reflected how she always felt the need to be perfect, and deciding she’ll be whatever color she feels like embodies her growth and aligns with her character development very well!
all and all what i think the overall thematic tie in with the kids all having different colors but still being on the same color wheel as those they’re related to comes down to how each one of the family members struggle with their place in the family, each one has their own things that they’re trying to work out that are wholly unique from each other and just add to how varied their individual experiences are. encanto is a movie all about that, about a wide range of people who seem like they’re going through their own difficult walks in life - but ultimately being united through their togetherness as a family, even if that family goes through a lot of hardships. that familial connection is evident in the parents passing down their colors to their kids, but their kids having their own distinct spin on their given color!
sorry if this was a bit long winded or came off as “10th grade english teacher reading way too deep into the thematic relevance of the colors of some random curtains in a house”-y but i couldn’t help but notice these connections in their designs. as someone who’s special interest is character design and is very passionate abt it, these designs were just so captivating to me and i hope my tangent properly conveyed the love i have for these designs and this movie as a whole! encantos just such a good movie both to analyze and to watch and i love it sm <3
Man I have just been having so many thoughts about Aang being a reincarnation and how stuff from his past lives could still affect him.
Like when he first met Koh and Koh used the face of a lover from one of his past lives, like obvs Aang couldn't show any emotion at that time and probably had to repress everything, but like what if when he was talking to Sokka and Katara later on Appa, about finding out how to help the moon and ocean spirits, and he mentions Koh and the faces Koh used, and he just gets stuck when explaining the woman's face because all he can feel when he thinks about it is an overwhelming sense of grief, and he just starts crying and Sokka and Katara are so confused and so is Aang because he's never met that woman before so why does it hurt so much to know Koh has her face? And all Sokka and Katara can do is hold Aang as he grieves for an unkown love long since past.
Or like if the Gaang one day on their journey, have a break time in close to the area where the battle was that Wan died in and started the avatar cycle, and they scout around to see whats in the area and Aang just stops suddenly and starts walking into a field where there are still remains of the battle all those years ago, Sokka, Katara and Toph run after him and find him just standing in front of a mound. They go to him and ask him what's wrong and all he says is that it was here, this is where it started, and the Gaang are like what started? And Aang turns to them and his eyes flash white and says, with a voice overlayed with all those that came before him, I did.
Or even if they decide to have a break stop in an old village in the earth kingdom, where the Gaang kinda splits off doing their own thing in the village, and Aang just starts walking around seeing what there is, and he starts getting lost in his mind and doesn't pay much attention to where he's going until he just stops in front of a vacant field and feels an incredible sense of confusion because isn't there supposed to be a house here? Where is the house? Where is his home? And that thought shocks him even more and an old lady goes past and tells him of the village legend that an avatar, many many many years ago, once called this place home, and Aang just nods and looks back at the empty field (that shouldn't be empty) and he can almost hear the echos of a memory of someone saying welcome home.
Idk I just have many thoughts about it. Like since bonds in the world can be so powerful that they have transcended lifetimes, why can't memories?
What about yandad Bruno who left his child in his family hands while he's hiding in the caste walls?( Mother unknown?) And what if the village is on edge when Bruno child is in sight ?( We don't talk about Bruno child, No No~ oh oh~)
Yandere Bruno Madrigal Headcanons (Platonic)
Bruno never wanted to leave you, that was the last thing he ever thought he would have to do but in his eyes it was for the best. So, he left. He left for Mirabel, for the family, but most importantly he left for you. He didn’t want you to have to grow up with the stigma of having him as your father. But that’s what would happen anyway.
He couldn’t actually bring himself to leave the family, especially not you. He loved his family after all and he loved you the most. So, he stayed in the walls; living, watching, wishing. He didn’t want to miss a second of seeing his child grow up and be their own person. He just wished he could have been right by your side all the way through. He knew your mother would be watching over you, just as he was. As much as he missed and wanted nothing more than to hold his child in his arms again, Bruno believed that this is what needed to be done. He just prayed that he was still making the right decision.
Bruno would secretly love to see some of his traits in his child. Whether it be them being overly superstitious, or having interest in acting, or maybe even a liking of rats. It would really show just how much they were like him. You were his, through and through.
It would really hurt him to know that the villagers treated you differently all because you’re his child. Even if you didn’t share a similar gift to his own, it would sadden him that the people would still throw you into the same category as him. He would blame himself entirely for everything, regretting ever leaving you all the more. But he would be so unbelievably proud of his child for baring with and not letting all the whispers and avoidance of the rest of the villagers get to them. Even if he did witness how truly affected they were when alone in the comfort of their own room. Seeing his child breakdown would shatter his entire being.
He would send his rats to comfort his child when they’re sad or upset. Or even just to check up on and keep an eye on you. They would come baring little gifts that Bruno had found or made himself. It was his own way of being able to interact with you and showing that he was still around. If anyone were to really upset you or hurt you in anyway then they would be getting a visit from some very angry rats and maybe, possibly, Hernando.
As tempted as he is to use his gift to know whether he and his child would ever finally be reunited, Bruno is too scared at what he’ll see. He doesn’t think he’d be able to handle the outcome, whether good or bad. Instead he would take to drawing little pictures of him and his child reuniting or him, his child, and the rest of the family all together. He’d rather have those then to know the truth.
It wouldn’t be all that surprising if Alma, Julieta and Pepa were very protective of you due to you being the last thing they have of Bruno. As much as they don’t like talking about him that doesn’t mean they ever lost their love for him and you just remind them so much of their Brunito. They weren’t going to lose you either. No matter what.
Julieta would be the one most likely to talk to you about Bruno, if you were ever wanting to know about your father and or your mother. She would be more inclined to take you in as her own in Bruno’s stead. She’d make sure you were well taken care of and that you felt wanted and loved. She feared you losing your way in the family too and that was the last thing she wanted. Julieta didn’t want to lose anyone else, not now, not ever.
Maybe Dolores takes up a close attachment for his child. She knows full well how affected they are by the way the other villagers act towards or around them, she can hear everything after all. Besides, she also knows that Bruno is still very much with them, staying as close as he can given his circumstances. Given her knowledge of everything going on, Dolores would want to help them as much as she can without giving anything away. They’re family and nothing would change that, not even them being Bruno’s child. When the rats aren’t there to comfort you, then Dolores will. That’s what family’s for, right?
When he is finally brought back into the family the first thing Bruno wants to do is apologize to you. He’s so sorry for abandoning you, for leaving you to deal with his stigma all by yourself. He hopes you can forgive him. He hopes you and he can start again, together, as father and child.
their favorite types of kisses
people in this - dream, georgenotfound, sapnap, wilbur, punz, jschlatt, awesamdude, quackity
the most disgusting fluff i’ve ever written
warning - cursing, i think that’s all but if there is more please do not hesitate to tell me :)
word count - 2k
a/n: okay okay, i might’ve lied earlier about that being my last post but this was short and easy to make which is why i would like to feed my readers this early haha. anyways, enjoy and please disregard the errors in this post, i hate proof reading anything lol. also, i’ve been very indecisive on the title and i might change it later and ooh, my masterlist will be made soon. i’ve just been feeling very unproductive these days. also, please put in requests, i am so bored and dumb therefore there are no ideas in this brain. and if you’d like a part 2, i might add more people for the part 2!anyways, peace!
i get the feeling that dream’s favorite type of kisses would be cheek kisses
he just likes to watch as you struggle to reach his height
“aw look at those little legs do their thing.”
ends up with you not giving him his kiss
and mans becomes SO pouty
“y/n…come on. don’t be this way.” :(
if you don’t kiss him on the cheek, will also become SO clingy and whiny
“why won’t you KISS ME!”
clenches his fists and stomps away like a teenage girl during puberty
slamming the door to your room
so then you have to go and give him all the kisses he wants
his face is slammed into your pillow
you sit on the side of the bed and pet his hair
leading him to stare up at you with puppy dog eyes
“i will give you all the kisses you want. so stop being so pouty, you big baby.”
will literally leave zero feet of space between you and him
taps his cheek to tell you he wants kisses
when you go on dates, will literally make you stand on your tippy toes to get his kisses
does not bend down at all and actually lifts his head higher to tease you
in other words, clingy but rude hoe
george is a classic romantic
he loves just lip kisses
pecks or lingering ones
he doesn’t care
mans don’t need too many kisses
nor does he need to be too clingy
total opposite of dream and sapnap *ahem clingy ahem*
if he wants a kiss,
he will come over to you and get it
doesn’t get pouty if you’re busy
just waits patiently
doesn’t enjoy it when you interrupt him when he’s streaming so you do your own thing
when you’re watching a movie with him,
he will literally only stare at you with his cute smile
and listen to your every criticism of the movie
he likes to just peck your lips whenever he feels like it
and you’re just not surprised anymore
just likes to stare at your lips whenever you talk
overall, is very sweet but not to an extent with showing affection
sapnap just vibes with neck kisses
it tickles his neck and he loves them
giggles when you pepper kisses along his neck and flushes a deep red
“y/n. stop.” giggles between each word
but when you do, becomes the saddest person in the whole world
“i was joking.” :(
when he’s streaming and he begins to miss you
would leave his room and find you just to get a kiss
just like dream, would get angry if you give him no kisses
“GIVE ME KISSIES!”
very amusing for you
and you love to tease him
“i don’t want to give you kissies.”
continues to stare at you with a large frown until you give in and give him kissies
lsg supremacy but i’ll get into this later hehe
you better give him kisses or you’ll be dealing with a very sad sapnap
wilbur, wilbur, wilbur
what can i even say
total nose kiss guy
i bet he’ll boop your nose twenty four seven
asks stupid questions just to get your attention
“is a hotdog a sandwich?”
“did you just say boop while you booped my nose?”
if he’s streaming and you bring him a snack
he will hold your face still and leave kisses on your nose
not too clingy but not too distant
likes to be just right with you
if its snowy outside and your noses get red
makes dumb jokes about he is rudolph and you’re mrs. rudolph
just a lot of smooches from wilby
takes you to a lot of hidden cafes in the city
and while you read, he balances his head on his palm, staring at you in admiration
if you’re insecure about your nose, you legit can’t be around wilbur because he will go on a tangent about how beautiful it is
substantially, soft boy hours all day bro, besides when he gets mad then you leave the hormonal man tf alone
i don’t see a lot of punz on tumblr so here we go
punz loves hand kisses
not to an extent where he has a hand fetish
god no but just like
when your holding hands, he’ll occasionally pull your hand up to his lips and leave a kiss
lots of hand holding
and i mean lots
constantly gets mad fun of for being a simp but ignores those comments because he genuinely loves you so much
likes it when you play with his hair and messing it up
also likes to compare hand sizes with you
always has a hand on your thigh or your hand in his whenever he is driving somewhere with you
even when you go on dates, always holding hands
no matter how sweaty your hand gets, he will hold on
sometimes if he holds on for too long, you have to tell him to let go
“punz, my hand is super sweaty. lets take a break from the hand holding.”
would flat out decline so you would have to pry your hand out of his
he would also love it when you would kiss his hand
makes him feel all polite and precious LOL
would also wrap his pinky along yours when you walk together
he once came with you to a family gathering for christmas and was so SHY
shy boy held your hand for security while your younger siblings made fun of you
afterwards, when you were under a mistletoe, he kisses you on the lips before kissing you on his favorite part of your body,
jschlatt is a whole mess
the first time you met, he confessed that he would hate you for as long as you lived because you made fun of his boots
now he says he still strongly dislikes you but you’re more tolerable
doesn’t like it when you make him soft and HATES it when he blushes
“why must you do this to me, mother nature?”
also “hates” it when you even touch him because he “hates” you
when he actually confessed to you that he liked you with his grumpy usual grandpa voice,
you kissed him on his forehead, after he bent down of course
he is an actual giant and threatens to squash you like an ant if he feels the need to
is an absolute monster to you but loves it when you kiss his forehead because it makes him feel secure and loved
likes to watch the wind blow through your hair and mess it up but gives you his hat because he like you being “all pretty and shit”
gets SUPER jealous when you hug children
like for example, when you went over to a family gathering at his house, his cousins came up to hug you
and when you let go of the child, the man child comes and lugs you over his shoulder
gets yelled at by his mom and gives her a sheepish smile before rolling his eyes and throwing you down on the sofa set next to him
his mom doesn’t approve of the way he treats you but you tell her its fine because he’s cute
when you are far from any type of civilization or in the safety and solitude of your own home, he wants kisses on the forehead
pointing up to it and bending down so you could reach it
“y/n, i only love you because of your forehead kisses.”
“you only love me for my kisses?” :(
actually feels slightly bad
“and because of your personality.”
“shut up. we don’t talk about this.”
in conclusion, give him his forehead kisses or perish
sam just adores it when you give him jawline kisses
not because it’s basically the only place you could reach but because it’s a sweet gesture
sam is all about sweetness
i mean have you even seen this man on his stream
he likes to watch you while you have conversations with your friends
not in a creepy way but more like an adoring way
cause man does he love you
i mean not only does he love you but his whole family does
and when you’re alone with sam, you love to bury him underneath all of your love
“i love you sam!”
“no i love you more y/n!”
“NO i LOVE you more!”
“NO i LOVE you MORE!”
“SAM NO. I LOVE YOU MORE!”
“okay thank you sweet pea.”
leaving you a bit confused but happy that he accepts your love
when you cuddle, omg
he never stops peppering kisses all over your face and vice versa because your relationship is disgustingly fluffy
when he lends you one of his sweatshirts, you sure as hell better wear that shit out or else (i am leaving a blank threat here)
sam loves technology but you guys sort of have a system
a system that involves mailing each other love letters rather than texting them
you guys also go on a ton of walks just about anywhere
hand holding is mandatory even though you probably look like a child compared to him
just give sam lots of love and in return, you’ll receive lots of love
mans cannot leave you tf alone
likes to do ANYTHING freaky around you
“i will follow you to the ends of the earth, mi amor.” or
“ayy, back off.” if anyone gets too close to you
messes with you twenty four seven and makes it his job to drive you insane
plays horror games at two in the morning for fun
and when he gets scared, hides in the safety of your arms
“mi amor. i’m scared.”
“shut the fuck up and sleep, alex.”
“okay.” shuts up quickly and snuggles deeper into the crook of your neck
loves you so deeply but HATES your cat
“look at that little dumb thing stare at me. you got a problem bro?”
your cat also HATES alex
scratches him all the time and hisses at him
if you think sapnap is babie, wait till you meet alex
“y/n he bit me!”
when you glance down, you don’t even see a scratch
“kiss my boo boo.”
“what boo boo? there’s nothing there.”
gasps as if you offended him
“this boo boo that your el demonio did to me.”
this man will do anything to get boo boo kisses
istg, you once found him provoking your cat to get some scratches
in alex’s mind, ouchies = kisses from y/n
always has ouchies from god knows where and shows it to you
even though you find it annoying at first, you grow used to it and it sorta becomes your thing with alex
alex is babie and you need to take good care of him :)
Your life with the Madrigal family is as happy as it can be but your grandfather isn’t too happy about that. Platonic! Madrigal Family x reader
part 1 is here! masterlist !!
Life with the Family Madrigal was all what Mirabel said in her song. They were all fantastical and magical! You would expect that joining them would make you feel envious or at least sad that you were powerless like Mirabel was but that wasn’t the case. You may not have a miracle but you were still a part of the family Madrigal and you wouldn’t have it in any other way.
You were as happy as you can be, free as you can be. The years that you’ve spent living under your grandfather were almost all forgotten except for the damage he had caused when he had torment you with his cruel words. Every loud noise had startled you, even a shift in someone’s tone would make you stiffen nervously and look around for a place to hide. You would bristle up when someone would raise their voice.
You still feared that one day he would return and drag you back to the hell you were living in with him. You were scared that all of this was a dream and in the first few weeks you had stayed with them, you were walking on eggshells. Trying to please, trying to not let them find any reason to return you home.
And they noticed that. Just like those years before when Dolores was given her gift, the family tried their hardest to speak gently and softly. They would reassure you that you won't ever return to that horrid family of yours. You were a Madrigal and you were going to stay a Madrigal. They were careful around you though just like the whole village was, now apologetic for not noticing anything and they now turned on your grandfather after his cruelty had been exposed by whispers.
Whispers that may or may not have been circulated by a certain shapeshifter that you now called your brother.
The town of Encanto wouldn’t so much as look at them when they would try to talk or buy something. Your grandfather had become so enraged and with your uncles and aunts, had banged on the Madrigal family door and you had the unfortunate chance of opening it up before Dolores could come and warn you.
“Tonto, get out here! What have you been telling the Madrigals?!” He seized you by your shoulders, nails digging in your skin as you cried out.
“You hijo/hija de puta! Do you know what you’ve done?! You poisoned their minds, you let the town turn on us!” Before you could defend yourself however, Felix and Agustin had already seized your grandfather who kicked and shouted.
Thunder struck the ground near where your family stood and Pepa had stood there with Julieta, swinging a baking pin around before she checked up on you.
“Mamá Julieta, Mamá Pepa..” You sobbed and you swore their anger worsened as you held onto them for dear life.
“Shhh, pequeño, you’re alright..” Julieta placed a gentle kiss on your forehead whilst Pepa had gently moved your clothes away to see just what had caused you to cry out. Angry crescent marks were on both your shoulders, red and some had already been dripping with blood.
“¡El cabrón!” Pepa had cursed at your grandfather.
In came Luisa and Isabela Madrigal. The ground shook as Luisa towered over your now quivering family members whilst Isabela’s vines wrapped around their ankles so they couldn’t escape. Sundew and cacti grew around to create a barrier between you and your former family. Her usually calm and collected expression enraged as she saw you crying.
Julieta would place an arepa on your hand and kiss your forehead once more. “Here, it won’t hurt anymore if you eat this.. you’re safe pequeño. You’re okay.” She reminds you gently as you ate the arepa all the while Pepa’s thunders got louder and sharper and Felix had to leave your grandfather who was in turn, caught by Luisa. Your Tio Felix would try to calm her down at least a smidge.
Just so the town wouldn’t get too affected but by all means she could strike your grandfather and his family down if she had a good aim. And she did get a good aim, you’d find out as a little lightning had zapped your grandfather.
Dolores and Camilo would soon enter along with Mirabel who would take to being by your side instead. “You’re alright, hermana/hermano.” Mirabel and Camilo would gently hold you whilst Dolores covered your ears from the onslaught of curses that left your grandfather’s lips. Don’t worry about her, right now you were more important than the discomfort she felt from the loud noises. Though as she knelt down, you slowly placed your own smaller hands to cover her ears.
You wouldn’t let her hear your grandfather either. Dolores would smile sweetly, pressing her forehead against yours.
You’d think it ends there but here comes Tio Bruno.. oh, your mistake, Tio Hernando had come barreling in with his tiny army of rats who squeaked angrily at your former family.
“You leave my sobrina/ sobrino alone!” ‘Hernando’ exclaimed, before he had immediately covered his head with a bucket he was holding, slapping the spackle knife on your still raging grandfather’s cheek.
“Why, you..!” Everything was so loud. It was chaos until Abuela’s calm voice interrupted the yelling.
And your grandfather had looked relieved, immediately relaxing in Luisa and Agustin’s arms. “Ah, Señora Madrigal, finally a voice of reason! That.. That bastard child has filled your minds with lies you see! We’ve treated them kindly, Señora. The useless chi—!”
What he didn’t expect, or what any of you didn’t expect, was your Abuela to punch him square in the face before she calmed herself, rubbing her now sore knuckles as your grandfather gaped at her with a now broken nose.
“I consider myself a very kind and compassionate person, Señor, which is why I am giving you and your family a chance to leave Encanto.”
“You can’t do that! You..!” Your grandfather and his family were appalled. Leave Encanto? That was unheard of! “¡No, Señora, por favor!” He had begged, getting on his knees. Abuela crossed her arm over the other.
“I cannot risk you still living here with my grandchild. Who knows what you may do next after this outburst? Your cruelty, your hatred towards a helpless child, the miracle would shun it. And shuns you. You will leave Encanto, if you know what's best for you.”
Alma Madrigal had set her mind to her decision, putting her foot down firmly no matter how hard they’ve begged. Some townspeople had already packed their bags for them, a donkey drawn cart with a rickety wheel.
“Encanto is no place for those who would do others harm.” She insists, watching as Luisa had swiftly carried your former family’s still protesting form. She placed them in the car with a grunt. There were no more protests. Alma Madrigal was a stubborn woman and with a family full of miracles? They wouldn’t dare oppose her.
And you watched as they left Encanto, your new family holding you close and making sure that you were alright. You were grateful. He was gone. They were finally gone and they weren't coming back.
You didn’t know why. Nothing hurt anymore but you had suddenly burst out into tears again, curling up in your family’s arms with a choked sob. You weren’t used to it, to the warmth of their hugs or the happy smiles that were directed to you. Somedays you would think that you didn't deserve any of it but your family would reassure you.
You belong with them just as much as they belong with you.
Second part of Home! I was really im the mood for some Platonic! Madrigal Family x reader again. I hope you guys liked the picture, I struggled in Canva just to edit it 😭
If you have thoughts and ideas you want to share, my messages are always open! It’s in a semi-closed state for now as I kinda get bursts of inspiration when reading you guys’ messages 😅
heart wide open
❥ summary: yn has spent her entire life waiting for her soulmate. she missed out on dating, her first kiss, her first time, and pushed her first love aside for the promise of a man who would return her feelings as written by fate. on the eve of the winter solstice, when souls are bound together for eternity and yn is set to finally learn her soulmate’s identity, she finds that he had erased her from his heart long before she could carve a space for herself in it. and sure, maybe things wouldn’t be so tough if she walked away. but how do you walk away from your best friend?
❥ genre: fluff, angst, soulmate au, bf2l
❥ warnings: cursing, mentions of sex
❥ word count: 7.5k
❥ author’s note: hello!! this fic is short and sweet and more fluffy than angsty, but i hope you enjoy it! i have more fics in the works and i hope you’ll look forward to those as well. happy reading~! :]
Words of crystalline desperation bubble and pour from the edges of your lips and into the toasty atmosphere of the living room where you are sitting cross-legged in front of the fireplace. Glorious swaths of warmth tenderly wraps itself around you, encasing your body in a cocoon of delight. It is the only affection you have allowed yourself all day long.
With minutes to midnight on the eve of the Winter Solstice, you, along with hoards of others across the lands, are set up in the comfort of your home awaiting the arrival of your destiny.
The name of your Soul Companion.
Each year, Fate promises the reveal of romantic destinies to all eligible people upon the Earth. There is no ceremony. No grand galas. It is a simple commencement which most people your age choose to partake in alone. Such as you have tonight.
All your life, you have been patient for this day. From the moment you had your first crush, on a boy whom you met in class on your first day of the second grade, and your mother had sat you down to explain Fate to you, and all the wonderful things which arrive in its belief.
As your mother explained, in your world, soulmates, or Soul Companions, are chosen by Fate long before a person is born. They exist in the Realm of Souls. They have no bodies, no faces, no physical entity of existence. They are simply essences of a future person. In this realm, Fate ties two souls together. They live and love in the realm and it is perfect. However, when they are sent to Earth, they are separated. Their separation involves a period of twenty-one years in which they grow into their personalities until they are prepared to meet one another again. And when they do, happiness of an indescribible sort opens the door to the rest of their lives.
When your mother told you this, everything stopped. Inside your brain, inside your heart. It felt like the pieces of a puzzle joining together in unification. Everything just made sense. And the crush you had on said boy became only a friendship instead. One which has lasted more than a decade.
It would be improper of you to lie to your own self and claim that you do not harbour any romantic emotions for the boy. He has been in your life long enough for your heart to stagger in his presence on occasion. But each time it does, you promise yourself it does not matter. For he is not your soulmate.
At least... you don't think he is.
The more you think about it, the more the idea begins to sounds less and less awful. Around sometime last year, you had even begun writing diary entries about the possibility of being his soulmate; and of having him as yours. And when you truly allowed yourself to think it, it didn't sound so bad. Actually, it sounded—sounds—lovely. Like a dream come true.
But when it comes to Fate, no one can predict it. So even while you have spent ages mooning about a boy, there is less than a 0.1% chance he is your soulmate. Only time will tell.
The clock on your phone dings with thirty seconds to go. Inside your head, you begin to count backwards. The stutter of your lips gives away the anxiety flowing through your veins but you trek forward anyway. There is no way back now.
A beautiful, velvet melody lifts from your phone and mixes eagerly with the atmosphere. In the space of subdued silence, you slowly raise your hand to your heart where the name you have waited all your life for is etched into your skin by the Hand of Fate.
When the moment settles, and the skin ceases to stretch with insignificant pain, you swallow the fear in your throat and stand up. The walk to your bedroom feels like forever but in reality, it is only a few seconds before you are standing with your toes pointed towards the arched, thin frame mirror. In front of it, you lift your sweater over your head and shut your eyes.
Even after all this time, there is remains a myriad of apprehension in your mind. Is this what it's like to wait so long for something and then to finally receive it, you feel overwhelmed with apprehension?
"Whoever it is, welcome him with an open heart," your mother had always told you. "He may be equally as terrified to see your name."
The remembrance of her comforting words calm you down. And then, you do as she says--you open your eyes and welcome him.
Eyes fluttering, you pan your gaze just above your heart to see a name which you have uttered, shouted, exclaimed, and cried over and over for years and years.
Tears spring to your eyes, and as the drops melt down your cheeks, you bring a hand up to your mouth where a sob-like laugh bubbles up and out. And all at once, everything simply makes sense. All the time which has passed and all the times in which you craved and wept and begged... they all make sense. And they mean something more than just late nights all alone in your bedroom.
His name is heavy on your heart and heavier on your mind as you rush to pull your sweater on again. Though you trip and clumsily fall a few times while you get grab your coat and boots, the call you make for a taxi is full of cheer strong enough for the receptionist to congratulate you. And when the taxi driver sees your lit up face, he wishes you good luck.
And that's exactly how you're feeling. Lucky. Like the luckiest girl in the world. Like a girl who is fated to be with her best friend for eternity and she cannot wait to go to him and hold him and love him exactly how she's wanted for all the years she couldn't because she wanted to remain loyal to her soulmate. And now that it is him, she cannot think of anything better.
The elevator up to his apartment is full of people, and you are far too excited to wait. Instead, you run to the stairwell and rush up five flights of stairs. The race burns your lungs, but you don't care. All you see is your future ahead of you and the door of his apartment at the end of the hall.
Heat swims in the cradles of your cheeks as you raise your hand up to knock. The sound of bone on door echoes in the silence down the corridor, but you don't care. Not today. Today is the only day in which your inhibitions are mute.
"Open the door," you whisper, licking your lips as you knock for the third time and he doesn't come running to open it. "Open the door, Jimin. Where are you?"
A few more knocks later, you retire from the action. Feeling your cheeks burn, you quietly take a step back. He's not home. And it kills you that he isn't. Everyone knows how special tonight is. He does, too. Why isn't he home?
You scratch the side of your head, looking frantically down the corridor as if expecting him to jump out at you. Of course, he doesn't. And the more you think about how he doesn't, and how he's not home on a monumental night, your heart begins to sinks. What's worse is the spot where his name lies and how it pains you just a little extra there.
With confusion lacing your brows together, you reach inside your coat pocket to retrieve your phone. It lights up in an image of you and him together at a concert over the summer. He has his head on your shoulder, and he's looking up at you with a smile you can't name while your eyes are trained on the camera. The photograph is something you have always loved looking at because it brought you comfort and ease. But right now, all it does is stir a tornado of grief inside you.
The phone rings four times before it goes to voicemail. Though worry becomes you, you bite your lip and try again. There's no harm in trying again, is there? Maybe he's in the restroom and left his phone somewhere. Or maybe he's busy with something important.
More important than the Winter Solstice?
If not for knowing his own name is imprinted upon your heart, the least he could have done was ask you how you were. He knows how important this night is to you. The past decade or so of friendship should have been a decent enough hint. And yet, here you are, in front of his door and he's not here.
Even after three more calls to his phone, all you get is voicemail.
A thousand emotions wade through you. Nothing makes sense and you just want to go home. But if there's still a chance--even a tiny, miniscule chance--of him showing up and taking you into his arms and sharing your happiness, then you are willing to wait for it. You have waited all your life. What's a little while longer?
A shudder rocks your body as you plant yourself on the cold doorstep. Although you have a key to his apartment, on your run over here, you had left it inside your desk drawer. For now, all you have is this doorstep until he comes home.
The side of your head falls flat against the side of the door as you listen to the sounds of your own breathing. In, out. In, out. In some ways, it's healing, and this time alone gives you the chance to gather your thoughts.
First, you think about him. With his dark brown hair and sparkling eyes and enchanting smile. He used to be a little kid with glasses and now he's a man with contacts in two different colours. He loves wearing black and white and boots which cost too much money. And he laughs just as much as he smiles, which is a lot and just the way you like it. If it were possible, you would build a nest in his cups of joy and live there forever.
Time flies through the night and when morning comes, you are awakened to the sound of a familiar voice by your ear. When you open your eyes, his eyes peer into yours. But instead of what you hope to find, all you find is a turbulent blur of mayhem. And that is when the putrid scent of alcohol flows off him and chokes you.
"What are you doing here?" He giggles, not really looking at you anymore as he fumbles with the keys in his hand. He tries three different ones before he lands on the correct one. The door opens and he stumbles inside, almost kicking you as he goes.
Tired, a little aggravated, and very much lovesick, you rise to your feet and follow after him. He doesn't bother to turn on the light in his living room before plopping face first on it. He groans when you turn on a lamp.
"Too bright," he grumbles, and the sound makes you wince. He is wasted. "Turn it off!"
"I can't see, Jimin," you sigh, quietly taking a step forward in his direction. Half his body is strewn on the sofa while the rest floats over the hardwood. "Were you out drinking?"
He cranes his head to blink at you. "I don't know. For fun." He pauses to take you in some more. "Why did you... uh..." He blinks away the haze and tries again. "Why were you on my doorstep?"
"I was waiting for you. I called a couple of times."
Jimin digs in his pants, albeit as well as he can in his inebriated state, and pulls out a phone similar to yours. The two of you had received a good deal on a dual set last year. "It's dead." He throws it on the other side of the sofa and whips around, his left arm folding uncomfortably behind him. He stares up at you like he's seeing you for the first time. "Ah shit, today's the Winter Solstice..." For the first time tonight, you sense remorse on his person. His lips wobble with an apology. "I forgot, I guess."
"So you don't..." The words die in your throat. In your mind, you scribble a note for yourself: keep calm. "Have you... did you... do you know who's name is on your heart?" The question feels so small as it leaves your mouth.
Jimin licks his lips. He appears reluctant to answer you. "I... don't be mad, okay?" He gulps and meets your eyes again. "When you went to stay with your parents over the summer, I had the Fate Removal Surgery." He waits for a moment before continuing. It doesn't matter, though. The entirety of your being is falling six feet into the ground while a haze surrounds you. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I know how much the Winter Solstice means to you so I didn't want to hurt you by telling you I got the surgery. I was going to tell you tomorrow. I didn't know you'd come here in the middle of the night."
For a long moment, silence is the only sound you offer. Jimin expects it and takes it in stride. He gives you the chance to mull over the new information, knowing it will take you a while to process. He hadn't meant to be so secretive, especially not with something as big as this and towards you, of all people, but the decision had come so quickly and by the time he was in the operation room, everything was already set in stone.
He waits another minute, then tries to meet your gaze under the cloudy mist of morning air. "YN... I'm sorry. Say something."
A deep exhale, leaving burns and aches in their wake, departs your lips. The silence around you captures the sound at once, and it feels like you never breathed at all. "Why?"
He purses his lips. "I don't know if you'll like the answer."
"It doesn't matter. Tell me."
Jimin lays back against the sofa. A slow inhale patters in. He stares up at the ceiling, as if finding it easier to talk to an inanimate object than his best friend. "I didn't want to be tied down," he explains, and though his tone is soft, his words are sharp. And with their jagged edge, they pierce through your skin. "Why should Fate get to decide who I love? I want to make my own path. I don't want one chosen for me." He takes a moment to look at you again. His eyes are moist with the request for you to understand his point-of-view. "I had a consultation, and the surgeon told me my soulmate would never know about me and be free to choose her own path, too. As long as she wasn't in love with me before the Solstice. Which," he pauses to chuckle, "is impossible, I think."
The world seems to tip on its axis. Nothing he says makes any sense and somehow, all of it does. The beat of your heart slows, and where it slows, it hurts. It's like someone tore through your chest and grabbed the organ in a fist, squeezing it only when you breached the brink of death. When you close your eyes, this person transforms into the man across from you.
Tears blur your vision, but you hold yourself back from crying. Not right now. Not in front of him and his truth. "Thank you for telling me, Jimin." Even his name, a name you have loved all your life, hurts you to say. The syllables don't feel right. The sound feels wrong. Nothing feels good inside your mouth except the desire to sob.
He tilts his head at you and smiles a bit, clearly unsure of how to move forward with this. He knows you're probably upset by the fact that he kept something this big from you but he knows, with time, you'll forgive him. You always do. "Why are you here instead of searching for your soulmate, huh? I'm sure he's looking for you, too." His eyes are playful, and it kills you. "What's his name?"
In a panic, you take a step back. And in an even bigger wave of distress, you lie, "Jack."
Jimin's eyes furrow. "Jack? Do you know a Jack?"
He lifts a finger in the air. "Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'll help you look for your soulmate, okay? I'm so tired right now... I just want to sleep..." On exhausted legs, Jimin struggles to stand. He blinks at his surroundings, then takes in a deep breath. "I'm still drunk."
"I can tell," you manage to say, adding a morsel of humour to your voice so he doesn't notice your agony. You move closer and wrap an arm around his waist. "I'll take you to bed. Come on."
Jimin giggles and kisses your cheek. "I love you, YN. Not more than your soulmate, but I still love you."
A voice, breathless and sounding nothing like your own, whispers back, "I love you, too, Jimin." As much as I love my soulmate.
The moment his head hits the pillow, Jimin whines for you to lay down next to him, just like you always do when he needs to be held. His arms come around you. The contrasting hard and soft ridges of his body blend with yours as he snuggles close. He places his head on your chest, and you will your unsteady heart to find tranquility.
"I know we probably can't do this anymore," he says quietly, snuggling into your neck. His words softly peck your skin. "But just for tonight... let me hold you?"
The depth of his request swirls your blood, and melts your bones until you are sinking into the mattress below you. Certain parts of your body are raging havoc, begging you to leave his embrace faster than you came, but you are nothing if not blind to your own protection. Because you let him hold you and you smile when he does.
"What if my soulmate gets jealous?"
He exhales and brushes his lips on a sensitive part of your neck. It takes everything in you to stop from shuddering with delight. "He shouldn't. He's the love of your life, and I'm just a friend." He pokes your cheek. "Don't forget me when you're with him."
Though a fresh bout of tears line your eyes, you choke back the pain and settle for another question. "Do you feel bad for your soulmate?"
"She'll have to go through life wondering why you didn't even want to know her name."
He sighs, and you feel the hot air spread over your skin like a fire. "I think I freed her. Without knowing me, she has the chance to choose her own soulmate. Fate doesn't get a say." He stops to look at you. "And I know what you're thinking."
"What am I thinking?"
"That I'm a jerk. I know I am, but I just... Fate has ruled our lives for such a long time. I just didn't want to be tied down to someone who I might not even want."
Everything inside you stops moving. It's as if your heart forgets how to beat, and your lungs forget how to breathe, and your skin turns cold and all your thoughts vanish.
"How do... how do you know she wasn't what you wanted?"
His shoulders rise and fall. On the bed, the motion can hardly be seen. He's like a ghost.
"Because I know who I would pick if Fate didn't have a say." For a fraction of a moment, he glances at your lips. Heat surges through your body, but you keep your emotions in check. He's drunk. Jimin has always been a touchy-feely drunk, ever since he had his first sip of alcohol as a teenager. This doesn't mean anything; and after today, it can never mean anything.
Jimin keeps talking while you hold him, about his night out at a bar downtown with his work friends, and when his words begin to slur and his eyes start to shut, you kiss his forehead and finally allow yourself to cry. It's quiet, and you have to stop yourself from sniffling multiple times, but you do cry in the arms of the man who let you go even before he knew you. For tonight, it's your only solace.
. . .
The next day, you wake up to find Jimin in the kitchen. His back is hunched over a cast iron skillet, something he adores cooking with, while he prepares breakfast for the two of you. Scrambled eggs, some kimbap he ordered while you were still asleep, and your favourite orange juice. He sets the breakfast down in front of you while you shake off the early morning. The fact that the dishes aren't done pulls painfully at your heartstrings. The habit is so Jimin of him. You promise yourself to do them later so he doesn't have to.
"I looked up all the guys named Jack in our city," Jimin says, forgoing a 'hello' as you dig your fork into a plate of eggs. He waits for you to express interest, even just give him a smile, but your eyes are hollow and you don't look even a little happy. He frowns. "Aren't you going to tell me I did a good job? It took two hours!"
"Good job, Jimin," you sigh, trying to paste on a semblance of a smile. The ache in your heart is still present, and no amount of food in the world can make it go away. "How many did you find?"
"Twenty two," he annouces with a proud grin. "But most of them are older and already found their soulmates." He stops to check his phone. "But there was one guy who said he'd been looking for a girl with your name." He shows you a picture of a blonde haired man with astounding green eyes. "What do you think? Is he handsome?"
"I guess." He's not you. "What if he's not my soulmate, though?" He isn't. Because he's not you.
"He's been looking for you... er, a girl with your name since the last Winter Solstice. It might be you, and Fate just made him wait. I know that happens sometimes. It happened with my parents." His mouth forms a cute smile. The smile you dreamed of kissing all your life even when you tried not to. "I set up a meeting already."
The egg you were just about to swallow begins to choke you. "You did what?!"
"I thought you'd be happy," he whines, hurrying to your aid. His shoulders fall when he reaches you. "Don't you want to meet your soulmate?"
"I do, but..." He doesn't want anything to do with me. The corners of your eyes prick with tears once again as you meet his gaze. "I want to wait a little bit."
"But he's waited so long for you, YN."
And I waited so long for you, Jimin.
Pushing the useless thought away, you sigh as a way of letting your friend know that you're already tired of this conversation. The eggs, though delicious because he's never not been good at everything he does, transform into tasteless bites of protein you no longer want. The bottom of your stomach churns with grief.
"He can wait a bit longer. I'm not interested right now."
Jimin stops you with an outstretched hand before you can slip out of your chair and go searching for the purse you brought with you last night. His brisk motion brings you to a halt.
Then, his hand is curling over yours and he's intertwined his fingers with your own. The sweet act should bring you whatever comfort he's trying to relay, but it doesn't. Because in the place of serenity, you experience bone-crushing heartbreak.
This is how you imagined last night to go.
For him to see you and be so, so happy to see you. For him to lose his mind in seeing you. For him to gather you in his arms and twirl you around and tell you he loves you the way he never said it before. For him to press his lips to yours and give you your very first kiss, rendering you utterly breathless and begging for more.
Dreaming... it's fun while you do it. Until reality walks in and crashes the show.
Perhaps your first mistake was dreaming of a future with him from the moment you saw his name on your heart. No—perhaps your very first mistake was secretly hoping and praying for him to be your Fate all throughout your childhood when things could have been different, and perhaps you could have been content with someone else.
The idea of someone else in his place burns you. It's like someone lit a match and poked you with it until the skin ripped apart, and all you are left with when the fire burns out is a scar to prove you felt what you did.
"I'm not saying this because I'm trying to be a jerk," he says, shaking my hand a bit so you will lock gazes with him. And fuck, if that doesn't kill you, too. "But are you on your period?"
The instant tug of your hand out of his startles him. He appears shocked while you are raging. "Oh right, because if a girl isn't feeling her best, she must be on her period!"
He rubs his forehead with the back of his hand. "Well... why else are you being so weird about this? All our lives, you've been talking about your soulmate. What he looks like, what he likes to eat, what he likes to do, how he dresses. You even planned how many kids you'd have with him!" He huffs out, exasperated. "And now that the Winter Solstice has come and gone, you're not bouncing off the walls trying to find him?"
"I..." The words get lost in your throat. Jimin's eyes are glazed over with something like regret, the sort he always experiences after an outburst, but you know he's holding himself back from apologizing to you. Because he knows that if he does, you may never tell him the truth. Funny thing is, with or without an apology, you never plan on telling him anything about your soulmate. Not so long as you both shall live. And so for now, for the sake of the threads of friendship tethering you to one another still, you switch back to the safest topic. The one which stop making him question you for answers you don't want to give. "Let me grab my purse and then we can go meet him."
Jimin stands up as you walk away from him. Behind you, he calls out, "I'm sorry, YN. I just want you to be happy."
I'm happiest when I'm with you.
. . .
The knuckles of Jimin's hands are tightly wound over the steering wheel. He isn't talking, but you know why. He expects you to. To fill the silence with all the things you always say when the two of you are anywhere together. Jimin has no trouble with silence, but he knows you don't like it. If there's silence, then you find ways to cram it with interesting subjects or simple nothings.
Silence has always been your enemy, but now, it seems, you have made a friend of it.
The man to your left briefly glances at you. "I don't like this," he says, emotion coating his words. He breathes in through his nose and lowers the speed. A driver behind us honks, but Jimin ignores him. "I feel like we're in a fight."
"We don't have to go meet Jack if you don't want to, YN. Say the word and I'll turn this car around right now."
"No, it's fine."
He blows a raspberry. "Fine. Have it your way."
The car swerves right and soon enough, we are driving off the highway. Jimin stays quiet as you drive up and past the first intersection in the heart of a nearby city, and quieter still he remains as he slows his car down and makes a stop in front of an alley. It looks familiar, but you can't place where you know it from.
His breathing is somewhat uneven as he kills the engine and unbuckles his belt. When he looks at you, you find yourself fighting back tears again. His presence is suffocating you, and yet, this is still the place you want to be. Even on the edge of misery.
"What's going on, YN?" He starts out with, tone soft and kind. The sort of tone he only uses when you are truly hurting. If he can read you this well, why can't he see that you don't want to be read at all? "Talk to me. Shout. Be angry. Do something." He reaches out to tap the hand you have in your lap then wraps his pinky around yours. "I know I can read your mind well most days, but I don't understand anything right now. Talk to me... please."
His gentle, soothing voice breaks the dam, and you are crying. The soldiers you placed along the walls of your eyes fall in defeat, and there you sit, with tears dripping down your cheeks in wet lumps.
"YN," Jimin whispers, tripping over himself to get past the center console but you hold him back by twisting your hand in his and pushing your fingers through his. He glances down at your intertwined hands and calms down, staying in his seat while you hiccup. "What's wrong?"
"I'm scared," you whisper, building the strength to lie to the one person in your life whom it is impossible to lie to. "What if he doesn't want me?"
Jimin sighs, and leans his hand out to take the side of your face. Tears paint his palm, but he doesn't care. They're your tears after all. "Is this about what I said last night? About my soulmate?" When you don't reply, he takes it as confirmation. "I was talking about myself, YN, and I was drunk. I say stupid shit when I'm drunk. I do stupid shit when I'm drunk. But I'm not drunk right now and I know you're scared." He pauses to get you to look at him. His eyes seem to mirror your pain, but you know he doesn't truly understand. No one can. "How could anyone not want you, YN?"
His compassion tilts your world on its axis, and squeezes you so tight that breathing becomes infeasible. More tears drip and drip down your cheeks until you have soaked his hand and your face, and there are so many things your heart and mind are screaming at you to say. Though, you say nothing.
Jimin pulls his hand away from your cheek and shifts in his seat. Then he unlocks his door and steps out, and you watch, with sniffles and teary eyes, as he runs past the front of the car and onto the other side. He doesn't wait for you to put two-and-two together. He just yanks your door open and sits crouches at your feet.
A hand, the same hand which held you before, reaches up your cheek. He presses his thumb under your eye and wipes the tears away. Then he moves the back of the same hand over the other cheek until your face is less tear-stained and you are biting back a smile.
His touch is everything to you. Everything and more.
He smiles up at you. From his spot down below, he looks just like the prince you dreamed of as a kid. Curse your brain for being so hopelessly in love. "That bastard is the luckiest man in the world," he tells you, honest and sincere. "I may not trust Fate, but I know it's fair. I know that if your name is on his heart, he's going to love you exactly the way you deserve, YN." His thumb moves down and grazes your lip where a teardrop glistens. The heat of his skin sets you aflame, and you watch, curious, as his Adam's apple bobs. "He's going to love you better than any other man."
"Because he's my soulmate?"
Jimin is quiet, for a few seconds, as his thumb presses over that same part of your lip. The beat of your heart is so loud, you hear it ringing in your ears. You wonder, does he hear it, too? "Because when he sees you, he will understand how lucky he is." His thumb falls away, and a part of you goes with it. He stands up and throws a hand out for you. He's smiling, and you are unnerved by how fake it looks. Though, you take his hand anyway. Never will a time come when you won't take your best friend's hand and allow him to take you anywhere he wants to go. To the ends of the Earth or another galaxy. "Now, lets go get tattoos."
. . .
Turns out, the reason why the alley seemed so familiar to you before is because it's the same alley you and Jimin took the first time he went searching for a tattoo parlour when he was still underage. The country has strict tattoo policies and forbids people under eighteen to be tattooed. But when Jimin was seventeen, he decided to be a rascal and bypass the system anyways, and he found himself a place willing to tattoo him even though he was just a teenager.
The tattoo itself wasn't a walk in the park to get, either. He got the word 'Nevermind' tattooed on the side of his ribcage and nearly broke your skin from how hard he held your hand as the tattoo artist did his work. But when all was said and done, the tattoo came out looking gorgeous. (And yes, you will admit to one or two late night fantasies of your tongue and hands and breaths on said tattoo. Or three or four. Who's really counting? God? He's your other bestie. He can keep a secret.)
Jimin is through the roof with excitement as he drags you by the hand into the tiny tattoo shop past the alley and down the other side of the road. He keeps holding your hand even as his favourite artist, a man named Gumball, greets him with a giant hug. He keeps holding on to you, almost afraid of you running away.
And he wouldn't be totally wrong. A part of you does want to run away. Back to the car and straight home.
He didn't bring you here to get tattooed, did he?!
"This is YN," Jimin introduces, glancing between Gumball and you. "She came with me for my first tattoo."
Gumball, who has to be at least six feet, nods and flips his baseball cap around. His tattoo sleeve shows off a series of flowers and plants intricately painted on his skin. He notices you staring and says, "My wife did these." He points to a woman in the back who is hunched over a stack of papers. She waves her hand in the air when you glance over. "End of year tax work," he explains.
Jimin grins. "We came to get tattoos."
"Uh..." Although you try to pull your hand away, Jimin keeps holding on. "Actually, I'm not—"
"It's a small tattoo she wants," Jimin goes on to say, as if he didn't hear you at all. "On her heart next to her soulmate’s name.”
His answer tightens a coil in your stomac, and although you are speechless and Gumball is agreeing to Jimin's request, all you find yourself doing is panicking. Liquid, hot, blazing chaos spreads through your bloodstream. Jimin, on the other hand, is none the wiser as he walks you to a reclined chair and helps you up on it.
He smiles as Gumball turns around to gather his tools, and places his arm over your head as he leans into you. "This will make you feel better," he says, and uses his other hand to push some of your loose hair back. His fingers are a heavenly touch on your skin. "Get the tattoo of a heart next to his name, just like you always talked about. Maybe then, you'll feel ready to meet him." The fact that Jimin keeps referring to your fake soulmate as 'him' instead of Jack does not go past you, but you are far too terrified of what's about to happen to delve into it.
Worriedly, you try to sit up in the chair as Gumball sets up next to you. Jimin still has one hand in your hair, and it slips as you move. The panic is plain in your eyes. "Can't we just go meet him? I mean, that's what we came out to do, right? And anyways, a tattoo for a guy I don't even know sounds a bit much—"
"YN," Jimin says, cradling the side of your face again. "I'm right here. I won't leave you."
Gumball glances between you and Jimin, then settles for you. "Sorry, but your top needs to come off for me to do the tattoo or he needs to hold it down." The older man gestures to Jimin who looks at you with another beautiful smile.
"What do you want to do?"
Not get a tattoo. Not have you see what's written on my heart. For the next few seconds not to blow up in my face.
Though, the answer you settle for is much less convoluted. Actually, it's silent. Whatever is written in your eyes, Jimin reads it as permission and he starts to push the side of your shirt down. A stampede of frightening emotions fly through you as you slap a hand over your chest, right on top of your heart. Jimin frowns and looks at you again.
Gumball clears his throat and puts down his needle. To Jimin, he says, "I don't think she wants to get the tattoo."
Jimin seems to ignore him and focuses on you. Like he did before at his apartment, he slips his hand under yours, gentle as can be, and intertwines your fingers. Out of honest fear, your eyes fall shut and he slowly brings your hand away.
Seconds pass. Maybe hours and days and years pass, too. Maybe a century passes and you would not know because you still have your eyes closed. And although you cannot see, your other senses are on high-alert. Particularly your ears, which pick up on the hitch of his breath despite the sound of Gumball's wife pushing her chair back.
Tears blur your vision when you can no longer keep your eyes shut. When you open them, you find that Jimin is not looking at you. At least, not directly. His sole attention is on the spot at the tip of your heart where his name is stitched in perfect accordance with the laws of Fate. The letters are not scribbled nor small. They are inscribed with ink more permanent than the one in this shop, and they are more painful than any needle could ever be. And through swirls and lifts, they make up the name of your soulmate.
The soulmate whose lips have parted and who finally manages to raise his eyes towards you.
"I'm sorry," you whisper, before he can say anything, because that's exactly what you are. Sorry that things turned out this way. Sorry that he had to see this. Sorry that Fate stole his choice from him. Sorry that you can't turn back time beg Fate not to do this to him.
Jimin looks at Gumball. "You're right," he says, "she doesn't want the tattoo. I'm sorry. We'll get going."
He doesn't wait for the man to answer nor does he wait for you to say anything else after your apology. All he does is step away from the chair and waits for you to follow after him like a puppy. When you're back out on the street, he is a silent grey cloud until you both reach the car and he turns on his heel to plant you with a steel gaze.
"When were you planning on telling me?"
Wind blows past, and you shiver, gulping down a sour taste in your mouth. "It doesn't matter."
"So you weren't planning on telling me at all then?"
"It doesn't matter, Jimin," you spit out, hating the way his name sounds so foreign all of a sudden. His chest rises and falls and even under his coat, you can read his anger like it's on the big screen. "Besides, it may not even be you, so—“
"My name is on your fucking heart, YN," he growls, "and you... you were just never going to tell me?"
In that moment, your desire to understand his anger vanishes. He might be the man you love, but he is also the only man who has ever broken your heart, and fuck him. Fuck him to infinity for that. Fuck him for not knowing how deeply he's hurt you.
"It's not you," you grind out through gritted teeth. "You got the surgery, remember? There would be a jagged line on my heart if you had erased me."
His eyes are wide and round, as if recalling something important. "They told me the surgery doesn't work sometimes... if your soulmate was in love with you even before the operation." He stares at you. "Are you—"
"No." The adamant nature of your voice is a surprise even to you. "No, I wasn't. And I'm not. It's not you. Stop being so narcissistic."
He seems to sober up quickly, and levels you with another glare. "If it's not me then why did you care so much if I saw your heart?"
"Because I didn't want you to get the wrong idea."
"Right. Because having my damn name on your heart isn't giving me the wrong idea."
"Excuse me?! You think I asked for this?! I'm not fucking Fate!"
He takes a step closer to you. "Are you sure it's not me?" His eyes are so intense, you almost give in.
But you don't, in the end.
"No. I promise it's not you. You're not my soulmate, Jimin, and I'm not yours."
. . .
After that day, you don't hear from Jimin again.
One day turns into two then two turns into three and eventually, it's been a week since the last time you heard from him. Typical, you suppose. The man has never been very good with deciding what he wants or figuring out what's going on. He is intelligent, you will give him that, but he is also a man who pushes himself away from life on occasion when things don't make any sense.
And you can't lie and say you aren't in the same boat. Because you are. And because no matter which way you think about it, separating yourself from Jimin seems to be the only plausible answer after everything. Maybe he knows this, too, and he has decided to accelerate the process.
As you turn the handle, the pressure of the faucet dwindles until there is no water left to give. The aroma of the room is fresh and pleasant, thanks in part to your favourite body wash and the perfume you keep your bathroom soaked in. A shower after work is exactly what you need to pull yourself together. Between meetings and assignments, you have lost nearly all desire to go on.
The tune of Taylor Swift's 'State of Grace' phases into nothing as the lyrics fall and splatter to the ground, joining the water rushing down the drain. 'These are the hands of fate... you're my Achilles' heel... this is the golden age of something good and right and real...'
The lyrics stick to you and warm you as you wrap a a towel around yourself and step out of the bathroom. Ropes of steam rush out alongside you, and you smile to yourself. Although the air outside is cooler, you feel completely refreshed. And everything is perfect, until the fog clears and you notice a man coming towards you.
"You're such a liar," he growls, sounding more animal than human as he takes giant steps forward. He leaves no space between the two of you as you stand there in the hallway with his dark eyes and piercing gaze. "Do you enjoy seeing me suffer, YN?"
"Jimin, what are you—?"
“I went to the hospital," he goes on, ignoring you, “and found out that they keep a record of names for those who undergo surgery. Apparently, this sort of thing happens a lot."
"What sort of thing...?"
"Regret. Remorse. Despair. Guilt for having thrown happiness away before you truly had it."
Fresh pain grips you by the throat. "What are you talking about?"
"They gave me your name," he replies, quieter as the anger dissipates. His eyes gloss over with moisture. A pang in your heart readies itself for battle. "Why did you lie to me, YN? You're my soulmate and you just—“
Despite your previous willpower, you cannot find it in yourself to hold back your tears this time. They come and they come freely, and they fall and fall as he watches you. "You said that you didn't want Fate to lead your way! That you wanted to make your own path! What was I supposed to say?!"
His ears turn red with heat. "That was before I knew you were my fate!"
"What does that mean?!"
"It means... it means..." He struggles for the words as your breaths hang in the air. Waiting for something. He locks his gaze to yours. "If it's you... I don't mind. Even without Fate, you're the only path I want to take."
When you cry this time, it breaks you down. It tears down your walls and your promises to yourself and everything else you mulled over again and again for days. Jimin doesn't hesitate to reach out for you, bringing you into his arms before you can fall to the ground completely.
He lifts your chin, lets his fingers be coated with your tears, and says, "How could I not want you?" And it's the last thing he says because the next thing you know, his lips are on yours and he is giving you the kiss you have spent all your life longing for.
It starts off slow, a gentle caress of lips on lips, as he holds you to him. His fingers are on your skin and they feel holy. Like they were made to touch you and only you. And to give you all the feelings you dreamed about.
Gradually, the kiss deepens and Jimin slips his tongue in. It causes a moan to bubble up from the back of your throat, and he smiles as it comes, pecking your lips then snaking an arm around your waist to hold you tight. The curves of your body, separated only by a towel, mold to his body, and if you weren't already wet from the first kiss, the way he maneuvers his hand in your hair and tilts your head back is enough to do it.
Without breaking the kiss, he reaches down to carry you. When you giggle, the kiss does break and he grins at you from above. His cheeks are rosy and you palm them with love overflowing your senses.
"I love you," he confesses, even though such a truth didn't need to be stated. The love is in the air. And after all, you are soulmates. He leans in to kiss you again. The perfect kiss to drive you just a little insane. "Tomorrow, I'm having the surgery reversed."
"You don't have to—"
"My heart has always belonged to you, YN," he says, confident and certain, "I didn't need Fate to tell me that. But I won't let you walk around on this Earth without seeing your name on my heart. I'm your soulmate, and you're mine."
Smiling, you nod and stretch your head out so your lips can press a soft kiss on his heart. "I love you, Jimin."
. . .
A soulmate who is not only your best friend, but also a generous lover, proves to be heaven and hell simultaneously. Heaven because he knows all the right ways to touch you and help you come undone and whisper sweet nothings in your ear to make you blush. Hell because he never tires from touching you, even when you insist you are more than sated.
"I have twenty-seven years of love to make up for," he says, head between your legs as he licks your essense off his lips. His eyes are sweet but they are wicked. Just the way you love him. "And you taste so perfect."
Moans bounce the walls of the bedroom for hours and hours more then, and you are thrown back into heaven.
When night finally bleeds into dusk, and the sun starts to peek out for a new day, Jimin finally learns rest as he lays in bed beside you, intertwining your hands with his and kisses the back of them. He has a twinkle in his eye.
"You know what this means, right?"
He leans in to give you an Eskimo kiss. "It means I get to marry you after all."
"When we're older, I'm going to marry you."
You look at the nine-year-old boy with glasses which match your own and a heart bigger than the soccer field you are both standing on. "No way! I'm going to marry my soulmate!"
"But I want to marry you!" He exclaims, almost stomping his foot. "We're best friends!"
"I'm only marrying my soulmate!" And with that, you kick the ball far away and race after it.
Jimin watches you with crossed arms, a little angry and a little confused, and with his little heart making a wish to be with you all his life.
Tobey!Spidey Dating Headcanons
Ahhh my first time writing for Tobey my beloved
(I do not own Spider-man or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @andysapril.)
Tobey!Spidey is just the sweetest, cutest, most adorable boy you would ever meet!!! You’ve lived next door to Peter for years and years now, and he’s spent every single second of every single one of those days just absolutely, head over heels smitten with you. Being his neighbour, you also got to sit next to him on the bus every day for years... and sit next to him in school, and during lunch, and after school when he’d invite you back to his house so Aunt May could gush about you over dinner.
All these emotions have just been bubbling up inside him for so long, that he’s more afraid than anything to just tell you how he feels in the fear you’ll never want to see him again.
The two of you used to have a lot of late night talks by your back fence back in the days when you were finishing up with High School. When the two of you couldn’t sleep, you just seemed to have this connection zapping between both your minds, making you slip on your slippers and sneak out of the house. Lo and behold, to no one’s surprise, Peter’s standing there in his cotton pyjamas, with his glasses slightly askew and a big smile on his face as he waved awkwardly at you.
And the two of you would just talk over the cracked planks, until the sun finally began to yawn her rays over the horizons of the distant apartment blocks. Still, even as you began to yawn and blink tiredly, your words slowly falling into the atmosphere, Peter would still be leaning his elbow on the fence with his head in his hand. And he would just look at you with those big, wonderous blue eyes and dopey grin as he nodded along eagerly - hung on your every word as if you were the one who had placed every one of those disappearing stars in the sky.
For the last few hours before the two of you met at the front of his house to walk arm and arm and hip to hip together to the bus, he would climb back into his bed and spend the rest of the minutes repeating your name with closed eyes and a huge smile on his face. At one point, he even managed to wake up Ben because he added Parker to your name-
‘Y/n Parker’, he would whisper into the solitude of his small four walls, fingertip pressed against his bottom lip. He would end up giggling so much, an innocent blush pressing against his cheeks that he had to hide under the duvet and pretend he was asleep when his Aunt and Uncle peered through the door to check he was okay.
When he finally moves into his apartment after graduation, he makes sure to invite you around for pizza literally the night after he moves in. His room is still a mess, but it makes your heart flutter to see that amid all the half-turned boxes and still broken lock on his door, the first thing he put up in his apartment were all the pictures he had of you and him. Mementos, polaroids, little photo booth strips from the arcade by Chatham Square from your twelfth birthday party - they all are pinned with intent and obvious care around his bed frame and his mirror. Although you can barely meet his eye, he’s too busy trying to set up a little picnic area outside to even realise how much his fondness has affected you.
He invites you out to sit on that little balcony of his, and he nearly jumps out of his skin when you cautiously sit down by his side. His skin burns against his thigh from where your legs blush, and as he hands you a slice of pepperoni pizza he bought home from his new job, his fingers shake as you gently take it from his grasp.
As the cityscape looms into the distance, fading underneath the cool chill of the night air, all the traffic and chatter and neon lights seem to fade into nothingness as the two of you talk - just so obviously staring at each other as if he were the stars and you were the night sky.
In the end, you can’t take it anymore. You drop your slice back onto the lid of the pizza box and wipe your fingers on the napkins he’s brought out. He seems shocked, mouth slightly dropping open as he fears you’re about to leave or he’s said something wrong - but then you lean over and cup his cheeks, and time seems to stop. His eyes widen more than he thought possible, and he can barely think as you lean forward and press your lips against his own.
He just sits there, frozen in shock as you make to pull back. But then, finally some kind of sense kicks in, and his hands come up to rest tenderly on your upper arms as he pulls you back to him. His eyes finally fall shut, soft and silky as his eyelashes brush against your skin as he kisses you back, lips unable to pull away no matter how much the two of you need to breathe.
And then he leans his forehead against your own, and you can hear the heart breaking longing in his voice as he manages to whisper out. ‘I’ve wanted to do that since forever.’
You stay with him for the night, but mainly the time is spent cuddling up against his chest on top of his duvet. This man has spent his whole life just wanting to hold you close, so you indulge him and allow him to be the happiest man in the world as he spends every second he can awake. Even though he keeps nodding off, he still tries to shake himself back awake so he can just tenderly reach his pointer finger out and trace over the features of your face while you sleep.
Eventually, the feeling of his knuckle over the tip of your nose tickles you awake. He tries to profusely apologise, but he just looks so cute that you lean over and knock him back onto the bed, straddling his legs and pressing a thousand little kisses over his giggling face.
You know Peter pretty well, so you figure out pretty quickly that he’s Spider-Man. He’s always disappearing off at random times, for once. And two, he literally just leaves his suit hanging up in his wardrobe, so when you go to hang up his jacket one day and just see it hanging there, you’re very chill when Peter confesses everything to you.
He trusts you more than anything, so you feel it’s only fair you treat him with the same faith.
You’re the only reason he would ever give up being Spider-Man, but he looks so forlorn and frightened after he tells you that your heart just splits in two. Cupping his chin, you move his gaze up from where he was glancing at his shoes until he finally meets your eyes again, and you tell him that you’ll always love Peter Parker no matter who or what he may be or become.
And so he keeps the suit, because he knows in the pit of his stomach that if anything ever happened to you and he could have stopped it, he-
Sometimes he’ll scare the living day lights out of you when you’re walking home from work, and out of the corner of your eyes you can see some kind of weird object just crawling up the brick walls of the lone alleyway you’re hurrying down??? But then you finally pass under a street light, and you nearly collapse in relief when Peter comes hanging down from a web in front of you.
Turns out he had just really missed you the whole day, so you just sigh in mock annoyance when you figure out what he wants. He pulls down the top of his mask with a small ‘please’, finally smiling against your lips when you walk over and kiss him gently, running your fingers over the stubble of his cheeks.
Or sometimes he’ll surprise you after work when he’s not in costume. He’ll just come flying down the street, all dressed up in his best suit, helmet, and brightest smile as he beeps at you on his little bike oml. He lets you drive as he scoots back, arms wrapping around your waist and chin nestling into your neck as the two of you shout gleefully into the New York breeze. You spend the rest of the evening hanging from a little web-hammock in a secluded spot of low hanging trees around Central Park. You’re nestled into his side as he holds you tight, just sharing a crepe and looking up at the stars.
You pretend not to notice how he spends the whole time trying to sneakily glance over at you, and every time he does an even brighter twinkle lightens his face.
He constantly tries to buy you gifts and bring home flowers he picks up from one of the street markets, and sometimes you have to slip a few extra dollar bills into his pocket because you know he’s spending money he can’t afford.
His favourite thing to do after he’s fired, or after Uncle Ben dies, or just when he’s had a bad day is to slam the door shut and just drop his backpack or his mask onto the floor. You can just tell by the pained expression on his face as he crawls over to you that he needs a hug, so you reach out your arms to him and he gladly falls into them. He lays his head on your thighs, nose poking against your stomach as he cries against your shirt and just allows himself to feel safe and loved as you run your hand through the short strands of his hair.
He gets shouted at by Jameson a lot because most of the pictures in his portfolio are ones he’s taken of you.
He’s pretty much just a big puppy - any time you’re both not at work, he’s so touchy. Doing dishes? His arms are straight around your waist. Trying to read? He’s thrown himself down next to you and soon the staring becomes too much that you just let him pull you down on top of him. Going out? Guess whose fingers are now suddenly wrapped around your own.
He also just loves to kiss your shoulders?? Just - in the early morning when the two of you are getting dressed, he slips on his robe and comes up behind you. He likes to rest his hands just above the meat of your hips as he still shyly presses his lips against the top of your shoulder.
He’s literally just going to love and adore you forever, you are everything to him.
Hi hi hi!!!! I like ur writings >< its ok if u dont butt can i request a scenario is ok with itto and thoma where the reader is jealous of sara and ayaka respectively but the reader doesnt lash out, they just become big sad:( thank youuu!!!
jealous reader gets upset :( — genshin hcs ⸝⸝
— warning[s]. kinda angsty ? and also intense favouritism w the women👩❤️💋👩
— synopsis . . . reader becomes jealous of (insert my favourite girls here) and becomes sad :’(
— characters . . . itto , thoma
★ notes . . . jealousy is to be expected in any relationship, don’t ever feel bad abt ur feelings ! make sure to talk it out with your partner :)) <3
— small backstory to what happened: itto had been hanging around sara a lot and leaving quite little time to spare for you (much to his dismay) it’s mostly been just him teasing and annoying her into sparring , once again she won’t budge - this sort of thing repeated for days and the coos and awes of people around town weren’t helping your jealousy
— he noticed you’ve been having this sort of negative energy around you , and that your eyes always had this red tint to them but he just assumed it was just allergies or something (once again, he’s a himbo.)
— big himbo man doesn’t understand why you’ve been avoiding him for the past few weeks :( he’s been missing your surprise hugs and your cute smile
— the days you do catch each other’s attention , it’s very short lived and you end up leaving straight away, he just wants to know what he did wrong so things can finally go back to normal !! ;’(
— when he finally managed to catch you he pleaded that you two go out on a date together to bond his charming smile was too hard to resist so you agreed with a simple nod
— though , this plan ultimately backfired. sara was walking around inazuma apparently searching for something to do with military affairs assigned by the raiden shogun , being the social man he is he went up to sara to start a conversation
— obviously , this upset you even more since you were literally on a date so you just decided to leave as to not waste your time
— poor man’s heart dropped when he couldn’t find you i mean you were right there next to him a couple seconds ago ?? where could’ve you gone in such a short time frame ??
— honestly searched for hours on end before he finally saw you sitting underneath a tree , knees bucked up towards your face and the sunshine softly enveloping you
— he sat down next to you , muscly arms pulling you in gently with a loving sweet kiss to the crown of your head yet all that wasn’t enough to put a pause on the burning tears that ran down your face
— hearing your silent weeps sincerely broke his heart and the fact you wouldn’t even look at him like you normally would when you’re upset - he understood it was his most likely his fault but he was more than ready to take responsibility
— he let you calm down , slowly rubbing your back with one hand whilst giving you short kisses on the top of your head for comfort which manages to work as your tears finally start pricking your eyes
— once you finally explained your feelings and thoughts to him , he just wanted to spoil you with his affection because he felt so bad :(( treats you to anything you want ! with extra cuddles, kisses and words of affirmation as a reward <3
— as ayaka’s housekeeper (malewife) and as a loyal friend of course he’d hang and monitor her quite often , but when those “often’s” become “daily” it can get pretty lonely
— the only things you ever really heard over the past weeks was “sorry , i can’t i need to help ayaka” or any other variation of that same sentence and honestly , you were tired
— when passing by the yashiro commission it was hard to not notice the playful and fleeting touches that they gave each other and the giggles that echoed throughout your head like nails on chalkboard
— thoma would never dare to hurt your feelings on purpose , he’s loved you since like forever ! so you had no real doubt that his love for you was true however you just couldn’t handle the envy that brew itself inside you and planted this seed of insecurity
— you refused to go out whilst you were feeling this way , you just had this sense of shame that you’d even let these sort of thoughts pass through your mind even though you’re more than aware that she’s just his friend
— thoma started to feel your absence besides him , i mean he’s noticed it since the beginning but only now it’s dawning over him that you’ve genuinely not been together enough and that your daily dose of kisses hasn’t been given in way too long ! :(
— he’s an extremely observant individual and very talented at identifying certain behavioural patterns especially when it comes to you , so when he saw you curled up in bed with tissues swarming your bedside table he really knew that this detachment from one another has took a toll on you
— climbs into bed with you and slowly but surely wraps his arms around your waist with a light squeeze and a few chaste kisses on your neck
— didn’t waste any time to apologise thoroughly , he confessed and affirmed his love for you as if you were both back at the start of your relationship - he just wanted to make sure you knew he loved and adored you and that nothing or no one could prevent that
— makes sure to dote on you heavily , so if you’re not into heavy PDA then .. good luck ! <3
IHEARTGANYU do not copy, steal or repost <33
★ notes : i went a tad overkill with the angst on some parts :’) i’ll reward you guys i swear <3
Squid games characters dating headcanons
First fic for the gang™️
Includes: GI-Hun, Sae-byeok, Sang-woo and Ali
Pre game/after game:
Lots of close-contact if that makes sense!
PDA, lots of little conversations, a shoulder to cry on, etc etc.
Though, he is very stubborn!
Expect him sleeping in, not doing a lot of the chores,
He’s just a big man-child tbh
He also does that thing when you try to get out of bed, and he just slings his arm around you and pulls you close so you simply CANNOT get out of bed
also that thing where you like measure hand sizes
Oh yeah, it’s all coming together
With everything going on, you can’t really get comfortable
But he tries hard to make you laugh even in the current situation
Feeling scared or sad? He instantly says some super random cheesy joke to cheer you up
Hugs before games are a must, you never know who will walk out of those rooms alive
So it’s best you always say goodbye before each one, just in case
He actually doesn’t kiss you much in front of the teams and others, because it could be shown as a weakness
But he WILL do small pecks on the cheek, forehead and/or temple <3
Lots of visits to her brother, Cheol
It’s pretty much a daily thing!
She’s very quiet at first, it takes a long time to warm up for her
One of the things she does to show affection is when she wraps her arm with yours and lays her head on your shoulder
She sees it as a way to be vulnerable around you
Lots of hair-playing/toying with!
It calms her down
Unlike Gi-hun, she does not handle PDA very well
The most she will do is maybe hold your hand and such!
She treats you pretty much the same inside the Squid Games
But she’s a little more quiet, and a lot more reserved because of how many people there are
She would prefer if the relationship was a secret for the time being, there are too many eyes and ears in this place
Plus she’s still debating whether or not she trust her teammates as well
Although, she wraps your arm around your shoulder a lot, which is something she never did before
This is a good thing, probably
Like Sae-byeok, he is very quiet at first
I think one of his desires would be to be able to spoil you, which sadly he cannot do very much
BUT if he somehow gets the opportunity, he does it
And ohoho he does it well
He’s very soothing, he may be rough to others but to you, he will be as quiet as a mouse if you need him to be
In private of course
He’s not big on PDA, not at all
He likes helping you get ready in the morning, like brushing your hair and stuff
I think he just really wants a domestic life, like the one he had before, but he just cannot achieve that right now
So he makes the best of it
He is one of those people who will NOT be seen as weak
So much so, he even stopped wearing his glasses to not look weak
Unfortunately, he loses that domestic charm he tries to have before
Instead, he becomes kind of a protection-freak
If that makes sense
Really, I think what he needs right now if somebody to rant to
He needs somebody to tell him that he is not weak, and that he will make it out of these games
And you are the perfect person for that
And he could not be any more grateful
The most sweetest guy OML
All he wants is a happy, comfortable life with you
Cuddles are a must, and he like-radiates heat so if you’re ever cold
Ya know what I’m saying 😩
Though, he has stress at work sometimes
So one of his favorite things to do, is lay his head in your lap as you stroke your fingers in his hair
And he tells you what he did that day
Of course, not everything is perfect in this relationship
There are definitely hardships in this life
But he makes sure to live the absolute best of it, with the love of his life
To the point he isn’t worried about himself anymore, but for his friends
And more importantly, he’s worried about you
Every game, he has like a heart attack and fear rises in his chest
But he’s actually quite confident , he doesn’t really doubt himself or you
He tries to fit both of you in one of those skinny beds, and usually it ends pretty much in failure
But you two make it work
He always eats the daily meals with you, and you two usually share some things
Hand holding is a must, like a must
He tries to always look on the bright side though, and he does it well!
Until, ya know
Yeah let’s not mention that
Thanks for reading!
Those Three Words | L. Norris
In which her wearing his hoodie leads to ultimate confessions, and she cannot get enough of hearing him say those three words.
word count: 2,1k | no warnings | prompt(s) used: f2 & a29
Relationships. Though you had been in a few, being in unconditional love was a genuine, unique feeling. You didn't believe you had genuinely experienced the incredible feeling until you properly met Lando. You wouldn't dare to admit it, and neither would he, but the two of you reciprocated the mutual feeling of that dazzling affection.
You and Lando had been together for about six lovely months, and you managed to see each other regularly in between race weekends. He had even invited you to tag along during one, though you had politely declined. You had thought it might have been too soon to accompany him in such a comfortable and remarkable place to him. Since your sincere feelings had developed relatively rapidly, too much for your liking, you didn't want to possibly ruin it by going too fast into your meaningful relationship. You wanted to take it slow, and seemingly, so did he. Therefore, to you, it seemed like going to a race would make it too official.
Neither of you had enthusiastically shared the famous three words yet, both of you not daring to admit to being afraid of any possible outcome. Before you started your first relationship, you had stupidly thought it was effortless. Easy to be in love and trust someone to have the power of your gentle heart and not misuse it. However, it had been quite the direct opposite. Unpleasant situations with previous lovers had occurred, and it naturally caused you to be more cautious with the ones that followed.
Lando had not been in a serious relationship yet; most of them just didn't succeed the way he wanted to. He was terrified of going in too deep, and it unintentionally withheld him from giving in even the slightest. Though, he grew to trust you more, and you had definitely noticed he started to grow more comfortable around you each day. But as he undoubtedly noticed the bubbly feeling that had grown inside him, butterflies shooting through his stomach every time he laid eyes on you, he knew he was in deep.
Although going to race weekends currently seemed to be off-limits for you, Lando had been able to invite himself over to your humble apartment. After the first time he had come over, you had regularly spent the night together. You’ve been at his charming house; he’s been at yours. Just because after the first time, you were unable to let go; finding a familiar comfort in each other’s calming presence during the night. Both your houses were an utter mess, so it was no surprise you had each other’s clothes laying around as well.
You were currently positioned on the sofa, snuggled into a blanket with a hot chocolate and your favourite show on your modern television. You patiently waited for Lando to expectantly arrive at yours, eager to be close to him again after the triple header. You had eagerly followed the races and knew they didn’t entirely work out the way he wanted to. After the disappointing finishes and the insufficient number of essential points scored, you undoubtedly knew he’d appreciate some cuddles from his favourite person in the world.
You were close to dozing off on your soft sofa, the light outside slowly darkening as the clock neared five in the afternoon. Your cosy living room added to the cold winter vibes, causing you to let out a content sigh. As you willingly allowed your kind eyes to close, you heard a key carefully enter the door of your lovely apartment before it was slowly opened. You instantly abandoned your pleasant position on the sofa as you shot up, eager eyes searching for the familiar figure standing in your hallway. You got up and let your feet, which were covered in thick socks, haul you to Lando who had just messily thrown his jacket on the floor next to the heater.
You smiled as you tightly wrapped your protecting arms around him, keenly enjoying the familiar warmth that found its way towards your stomach. He gently placed a tender kiss onto your lips, and you were naturally delighted to return the favour. “Hey love,” he finally greeted you as he hesitantly pulled back, his soothing voice sending heat waves down your spine. “That’s what you call a warm welcome.” “What else did you expect?” You smilingly replied as you took the beanie he typically wore and enthusiastically put it onto your head. You walked back to your sofa, signing for him to follow as he let his eyes wander over your figure and let a hand go through his gorgeous hair to fix the mess the hat had possibly left.
You were wearing a grey pair of joggers, together with a black, thick hoodie he recognised all too well. “Is that my hoodie?” He asked with a satisfied grin as you returned to your secure spot, pausing the television that you had neglected in the process of enthusiastically greeting your boyfriend. He eagerly followed you to your current position, depositing his baggage somewhere near the dinner table. “No, not anymore.” You simply smiled at him as you replied, spreading your arms for him to join you. He eagerly accepted your loving invitation as he messily kicked off his shoes and carefully laid down next to you before you pulled the blanket over your bodies.
You comfortably rested your head on the armrest as you looked down to see Lando smile at you contently. For a second, he was rightfully concerned you could clearly see the hearts present in his eyes, his heart skipping multiple beats as he laid his head on your soft chest. You lovingly stroked through his familiar curls atop his head, and he allowed his glittering eyes to close, a smile still plastered across his face as he enjoyed your gentle touch and listened to the beating of your heart.
“You want to talk about racing?” He heard your voice speak gently, the vibrations in your chest, along with your words, unwillingly bringing him from his peaceful moment. He tiredly opened his eyes as he gave it a thought, though he wasn't sure if he'd be willing to ruin the comfortable moment you shared. He managed to lift himself off you slightly, your reassuring hand maintaining the pleasant spot on his head.
“I’d rather kiss you right now.” He mumbled, smiling as he placed a tender kiss on your rosy lips. You melted into him as you closed your eyes, both your arms finding their way around each other as if to impossibly pull your hearts as close as you could. Your jewelled fingers fiddled with the hair in the nape of his neck, your other hand pulling on the soft material of his hoodie. You hesitantly pulled back as you tried to catch your breath and let your foreheads touch.
“I think you did well, by the way,” you started as he slightly pulled back and properly observed your vivid eyes. “You shouldn't be too hard on yourself, your time will come, honey.” He smiled once again, something he undoubtedly noticed he couldn't keep himself from doing around you. He knew you weren't the only one who believed he was too harsh on himself, but he couldn't help from doing it. “It keeps me motivated,” he explained as he snuggled his head back into the crook of your neck, his soft curls slightly tickling your skin. “I wouldn't get this far if I were to consistently pity myself.” Your loving heart slightly sunk at his words, though you understood where they came from. Racing wasn’t easy, and you got that. Managing the winner’s mentality and being able to deal with the inevitable losses as well must be tough sometimes.
“As long as you turn the lows into even higher highs, I’m alright with that,” you stated as you placed an affectionate kiss in the bush of his curls. “Though I will not stop being the softie here, and will continue informing you how proud I am.” You felt his loving grip tightening on your body, and it was in that memorable moment you realised you truly were in deep. As your pleasant thoughts wandered off, and Lando managed to release the gorgeous butterflies in your stomach again, you almost completely zoned out. Your breathing grew uneven, and you were almost worried Lando was able to feel your heart beat out of your chest. You realised you truly loved him and there was no point in stubbornly denying it any longer.
The drowsy voice of your boyfriend forced you back to reality, “This is my favourite hoodie, though.” He stated as he fiddled with the strings of the piece of clothing splayed around your chest. “Too bad it’s my favourite too,” you chuckled as you set your unoccupied hand atop of his. “And last time I checked, you left it in my apartment.” “Seems like those joggers are comfortable, too.” He spoke softly, his kind voice getting muffled by the soft material of your hoodie. He was right, this full outfit actually belonged to him. You let out a gentle laugh, the vibrations sending heat waves right through his body.
“You’re lucky I love you.” He uttered the words with so much ease, realising what he had announced only mere seconds later. His panicked eyes shot open as he stayed frozen in his spot, not daring to move a single muscle. Your heart stopped for a second, silently screaming at the pleasant words it had only just heard. Your hand halted its motions in his hair, though you allowed letting it rest on his head. He felt your breathing quicken and prepared himself to mentally curse himself for what he had just confessed. The situation frightened him; it had felt so natural to tell you, though he wasn’t sure himself if you were ready to say it back.
Simultaneously, your stomach turned out of ultimate happiness that you finally managed to detect the words that you’ve been dying to hear escape his soft lips. You shifted in your spot, letting your eyes fall on Lando his motionless body still clamped to yours. You smiled gently, dearly wanting to make sure he had indeed pronounced the famous words.
“Lando,” you started as you felt him stiffen, a faint hum escaping him. “Look me in the eyes and say that again.” You felt his head leave your chest before your gaze met his. Your heart was fluttering, and your mind was racing.
“I love you.” There they were once more, those three words that caused you wanting to scream in excitement and cry from eternal happiness. A faint smile instantly started to appear on your face, your delighted features sending those butterflies through Lando his stomach yet again.
“I love you.” He whispered, a smile now finding its way onto his kissable face as well. You pulled him in closer, if that was possible, and forced your lips onto his for the third time that evening. Though this time, it was much more meaningful. You both closed your eyes as you let yourself get lost in the moment; you felt his body clamped onto yours, his left hand lovingly found its way on your hip as the other arm was hidden under your back. Your legs tangled in each other’s, your gentle hands on his rosy cheeks, thumbs softly rubbing circles over the surface.
You allowed yourself to pull back from the kiss, desperately trying to catch your breath. You sent each other a knowing smile, noticing the relief of your anxieties of keeping those words to yourselves. “I love you, too.” You chuckled and a content sigh escaped your swollen lips. Lando let out a soft chuckle as well as he hauled you in for yet another passionate kiss.
You didn't believe you had ever truly loved anyone else before you met him now that you knew what it actually felt like. It was in that moment that you sincerely hoped this was it; this was him. The soulmate you were meant to cross paths with. The one qualified person that would not drop your heart after trusting them to protect it with their lives. The one that you would spend the rest of your lives with. He was the one you'd never want to stop saying those three words to, and it was the same for him.
I find it odd how the fandom focuses so much on Aang’s childhood being ruined when he learned he was the Avatar at 12, but there’s very little talk about how discovering she was the Avatar as a toddler affected Korra’s life and how she was raised.
But we’ll circle back to that...
Because this is a good starting point to talk about one of the most prevalent themes in the story, which the mainstream discussion of tends to only focus on a few characters -- That is the Child Prodigy.
We’ll start with the two most obvious. The ones we always talk about.
The clearest example of your typical child prodigy (if there is anything typical about a prodigy). Azula showed early mastery of very advanced Fire-Bending techniques, and is the only Fire-Bender to use blue flames, which was intended to make her stand out amongst the other villains but is also indicative that her Fire-Bending is more pure and powerful (blue flame is produced when burning pure O2 or fuel without contaminant at a very high temperature).
All this lead to her being praised and favored by Ozai as a child, but as double-edged swords go, this also meant she had a lot of pressure on her shoulders to never fail, and she rarely did. Her ego matched her talent, and let’s be honest she was the baddest bitch the show had ever seen. Conquering Ba Sing Se, defeating the Avatar in combat, and dropping some of the most devastating lines of dialogue in villain history; she was a force nobody wanted to reckon with.
And that become a problem for one asshole in particular...
Being jealous of his own child is just one item on a laundry list of reasons why this guy is the worst father in the history of fathers. Azula had begun to outshine him with her victories, and Ozai’s maniacal ego couldn’t handle that, so he left her behind to babysit the Fire Nation while he went out to burn/conquer the world, which also was her idea.
And while this wasn’t the only thing that aided in her demise, it certainly was the final straw which sent her spiraling down into this...
In the end Azula is a sad example of how certain unfair expectations are placed upon talented children, and the more they succeed, the more these expectations grow and weigh on the them until they either disappoint those looking down on them or surpass and embarrass their elders.
It is a lose-lose situation which inevitably destroys them.
There is a similar example of the child prodigy, but his story goes a little different.
Even as a twelve/thirteen year-old boy Aang by far has the most impressive stats among any character in the Avatar universe.
Basically mastering 3 of the 4 Elements in less than a year, after mastering Air by the time he is twelve (not to mention inventing his own Air-bending move, the Air scooter).
Aang is an example of a child prodigy who had too much thrust onto him at too young an age because of the talent he showed; because of this he panicked and ran away, and the world was worse off for it.
Aang/Sokka/Katara’s story is all about how in times of War, responsibilities normally handled by adults are pushed onto kids who then have to grow up very fast in order to deal with it all.
The message is clear. War robs the young of their childhoods.
Now, let’s talk about a different kind of child prodigy.
Yes, of course I’m talking about Toph, the greatest Earth-Bender to ever live.
Because of her blindness, Toph’s family tried to keep her sheltered and safe by hiding her from the world. Refusing to believe she could ever be more than helpless. Anyone who has seen the show knows that is far from the truth.
But because her potential went unseen, there were some negative effects to her personality. Initially, she resented her parents, and rebelled; which established a certain level of independence, a bad attitude, and a hot-headed streak. Over time spent with the Gaang these behaviors subsided because she finally had friends and they accepted her for who she was. By the end of the series she was fully willing to accept aid from them when she needed it, like holding on to Sokka’s arm in environment where her bending couldn’t help her “see”.
Toph’s story is a foil to Azula’s, both showed immense talent and badassery, but while recognition of Azula lead to ever-mounting pressure for her to succeed; the lack of recognition for Toph created a need for her to be acknowledged and set an undercurrent of frustration which leads to her acting out in the ways she does.
The lesson to take from Toph’s story is not to shelter your kid from the world out of fear for their safety, and to be open to recognizing their talents, not shun them.
Next are two more Unacknowledged.
Katara and Sokka.
Their story, and the reason behind their circumstances, is one of the more complicated and nuanced ones in the series, so here we’ll focus on how it fits into the subject of discussion.
Because of the War, Katara was robbed not only of her mother but also of any Southern Masters to train her, and any role models Sokka could have looked up to left with his father to fight. Because of this Katara’s potential and Sokka’s genius went unacknowledged not due to neglect but rather due to circumstance. (Yes, I think Sokka is a genius, how many 15 yr olds do you know that can plan an invasion, design submarines, and spit poetry off the cuff?).
This is a further example of how War robs kids of necessary childhood experiences, and these two robberies had particular effects on both Katara and Sokka’s character developments.
Sokka had the responsibility of protecting his home put upon him at a young age. The men of his tribe leaving prevented him from completing his rite of manhood until the Gaang ran into Bato of the Water Tribe, and early on Sokka was constantly trying to prove himself as a man and a leader. Sokka is one of the smarter characters of the series, but he rarely got credit for it until the third season. Not to mention that because he wasn’t a bender he often seemed less useful than the others. The circumstances of war made his talent go unnoticed and because of that he often was unsure of himself and overcompensated to prove something.
Speaking of talent going unnoticed.
Katara is definitely one of the more talented benders of the series. After training herself for years with little progress, she essentially mastered Water-Bending in a few weeks under Master Pakku. While her anger towards the Fire-Nation mostly centers around the loss of her mother, it can’t be ignored that the delay in her training was a direct result of the Fire-Nations’ actions. Toph’s anger and frustration vented itself as rebellion. However, the same frustration and anger is within Katara, but because she wasn’t as natural a bender as Toph she sought to learn and be respected, and when that was denied to her is when that anger bubbled to the surface in some terrifying ways.
While Toph’s talent went unnoticed because of her families neglect, Katara and Sokka’s wasn’t acknowledged because there was nobody to acknowledge it. Because of that both brother and sister wanted to prove themselves to the world.
And then there is Zuko.
I know what you’re thinking. Zuko wasn’t a prodigy, his Fire-Bending skill didn’t catch up with Azula’s until the finale and he never mastered Lightning-Bending, but this section is about the Unacknowledged.
Zuko had many other talents besides Fire-Bending, he was a master swordsmen, and was able to successfully break into every secure facility he attempted in the show (which was almost every secure facility the show featured). Unfortunately, these talents were never recognized, because the only thing the royal family cared about was bending ability (It’s possible the reason he learned the sword was because he lacked skill in Fire-Bending).
As per usual with Zuko, this part of his tale is quite sad. Many can relate to being outshined by a sibling, and when it becomes all too clear that one cannot match another’s talent it’s quite understandable to focus on what they do excel at, but even then there is no promise of recognition for their own talent. Zuko was even mocked by his father during the solar eclipse when Ozai tried baiting him into attacking with his swords.
This lack of recognition is one of many sad aspects of Zuko’s early life, but it is a definitive example of one of the hardest unacknowledged prodigy’s cross to bear. The Outshone prodigy, one whose talents are never noticed because a bigger and brighter star stands in the way of such recognition, and arguably the most frustrating type mentioned here. Toph/Sokka/Katara all came from situations were there was no recognition being given to them or anyone, but Zuko had to bear watching massive amounts of praise be piled on to his sister while he and his accomplishments went by the way side.
Ozai summed up the situation best.
“Azula was born lucky, Zuko was lucky to be born”
Alright now where have I been going with all this?
So, far we’ve covered a lot of wrong ways to treat a child, whether they show talent or not, and how the circumstances of war can also take many things from children.
But what happened to Korra?
(Before we get into to this I should state that I like Korra, and the purpose of this is not to bash her as a character or her arc, but rather to give a little of my insight into it.)
It’s well established that Aang was told of his heritage too young, and that was a detriment on his development into an adult, but what would have happened if he realized his powers himself not long after he could walk? We’ll never know, but we do get to see the effects it had on Korra.
When she revealed herself as the Avatar, Korra set her entire life in a new direction, and because Aang tasked the White Lotus with finding and training her that direction was out of her control. There are two key differences between Korras’ and other Avatars’ lives.
1. She grew up in isolation on a White Lotus compound.
Every Avatar before Korra we know of spent a portion of their early lives traveling the world in order to master the elements; along this journey they not only learned how to bend the other 3 elements, buy also many things about the 3 other nations and the world they are tasked to protect as a whole. By confining Korra in safety and bringing the masters to her the White Lotus deprived Korra of this opportunity to learn and grow and understand the world and the people within in. It also deprived her of learning modern bending styles until she reached Republic City.
While this might have kept Korra safe from the Red Lotus, it grew within her a naiveté about how the world worked, and because of this when she actually did venture out into the world she was terribly unprepared for it.
2. She was trained and mastered 3 of the elements by the time she was 16.
Most Avatars don’t know they have this power until they reach 16 and then they spend several years learning to control it. Korra’s natural talent in the bending lead to her training being expedited not by necessity like Aang’s, but due to her talent and eagerness. Korra excelled at the physical part of being the Avatar and because of this by the time she reached maturity she had become over-confident in her abilities and true to what her Fire-Bending master said in Ep.1 she lacked restraint.
I’m not saying her bending isn’t great, but rather because it is so great it’s her go-to solution to anything, and she enjoys that so she uses it with enthusiastic gusto and not a lot of thinking before striking.
This overconfidence coupled with her naiveté of the world is what lead to many of her rash decisions and actions, most of which had negative consequences, and I believe are the reason behind some fan are dissatisfied with her. Aang had been almost the complete opposite, even by the age of twelve he was an experienced world traveler and an incredibly humble guy.
Some may have been dissatisfied by these character decisions, but they served a purpose, they are only the beginning of her arc. The internal challenge Korra must overcome through 4 seasons is to humble herself before the world, and learn from it. This was finally achieved in the 4th season when the metal poisoning in her body forces her to face others in the world as equals, only then had she completed her journey.
And why did it all go this way?
Because she is a very unique child prodigy, what she demonstrates in the first episode of LOK would be akin to a toddler playing the violin or hitting a three-pointer; she could bend 3 elements close to just after learning to walk. That is the kind of prodigious talent rarely seen because it is mostly impossible. How does a rational person handle a child like that?
It’s a tough question, and something this essay has been circling around the whole time. Each example here is the wrong way to handle talented and different children, but what is the right way?
As always look to Iroh.
Who treated his surrogate son Zuko with both respect and compassion.
Unlike Toph’s parents, Iroh worried over Zuko’s well being, but also allowed him to be independent, make his own decisions, and take his own risks.
Unlike the Nomad Leaders, he didn’t want Zuko weighed down by his position in the world and the responsibility that came with, and always encouraged him relax and take advantage of the moment.
Unlike Ozai, Iroh would always be there to support Zuko in his victories and his failures. Iroh shows him the right path but does not force him down it.
And even after Zuko betrayed and abandoned him.
Iroh was never angry with him, and embraced him upon his return.
He wanted Zuko to grow and be a better man. Even if Zuko wasn’t a prodigy like his sister.
And that is the answer here. The way to raise a prodigy is the same way anyone should raise any child. Love, Support, a Guiding Hand rather than a Forceful Shove, Recognition of What Makes Them Unique, and Forgiveness When They Falter. The problem comes along when you start treating children differently because you see them as different or special. All children are different, all children are special.
Kids are kids, and they all deserve a proper childhood.
THAT Depression Elimination Post
Most depression is worsened by environment. Like the friends around you, your shitty boyfriend, the godawful job you have, the crap diet you're eating, the 4 hour crappy quality sleep every night. It all contributes to your life. And it's damn time you take all those under your control and take control of your reality and reshape your mindset.
It's ridiculous how there are so many depressed people out there, and it's time to spank things up and change that.
You want to heal, you want to be happy. Which is understandable but you can't rely on keeping buying makeup for that temporary boost in mood or popping in the prozac pills and doing JACK SHIT besides those fleeting pleasures. All they give you are temporary solutions, if you don't attack the fundamental problem it will always persist. Clear and simple.
FIX YOUR GODDAMN SLEEP.
Go to bed at the SAME time everyday
Wake up EARLY AT THE SAME TIME.
If you lacked sleep on your previous night, GO TO BED EARLIER. No 'maybe' or 'I don't wanna go to bed so early!' WHO SAID THEY WANTED TO HEAL UP AND BE FUNCTIONAL? Do it immediately, for the NEXT night. People are gonna understand if you say you want to sleep earlier, trust me. Nothing more attractive than someone that takes care of her wellbeing.
No cellphone 1h before bed. No peeks, no last texts, nothing. You close your phone totally one hour before bed. That's it.
Your brain is a stupid simple organ, if you associate a place with anything than its intended purpose, the brain is going to associate that place with the unintended use. The more you do it, the more your brain is gonna make the alternative undesirable association. That's why you never "lounge" in bed, because you're destroying that association bed=sleep which makes you sleep quick and fast. Bed is only for sleep and that's it. If you wanna lounge, go to your living room or chill room. Never the bed.
If you can't sleep or have anxiety around bedtime, rise up from the bed, leave the covers open so it aerates, go read a book for 20 min then come back. A chiller room also is incredibly helpful for bedtime. If it doesn't helps, look into weighted blankets.
Wash your bedsheets every week. I do them every Sunday, that's my routine and I can start my week with fresh sheets that feel SO right. The more your life is routinous, the better it actually is for the mental because there's LESS DECISIONS to make, and the brain is LESS overwhelmed. Fresh sheets and well made bed are a great foundation for great quality sleep.
Don't dismiss the influence of good sleep and bad sleep on your mood. Bad sleep makes you rave more junk food that makes you feel like shit afterwards, bad sleep affects your patience and mood and you're more likely to be sad and have depressive behaviour.
DRESS THE FUCK UP AND GROOM YOURSELF.
Clothes ABSOLUTELY influence your mindset for the day. If you dress in sweatpants and ripped t-shirt you're gonna feel like shit for the day. I JUST KNOW IT, BECAUSE I FELT IT. If you're broke and have nothing clean and intact to wear, check out the thrift stores for basic clothes like black pullovers and so on. Minimal, easy to wear rand always looks chic and gonna make you feel chic.
Etablish a ROUTINE (Routines are KEY to good mental health) for the laundry. I wash my clothing every Saturday, but you can choose the day of the week that works best for you. Start some music to fold and tuck away your cute clothing, associate that with POSITIVE VIBES. Hard to enforce habits are made easier by bringing in positive vibes into the experience.
Clean clothes, clean body, good smells signals to others that you like yourself and that they can't push you down. It's your weapon.
What is your favourite scent? Your favourite color? Pick a shampoo, soap and conditioner that has those scents. Again here, if you have difficulty showering yourself and grooming yourself, it's all about positive vibe association. Your favourite scents are in your shampoo bottle so you're more likely to go wash yourself. Same thing with other grooming accessories. My favourite colors are pink and lavender so I pick grooming tools in those cute colors to make me more likely to do it.
Just a water shower is better than NO shower at all. If you don't have energy to go wash yourself, go stand under the water for 5-10 min and just enjoy yourself under the warm water. I swear the shower is like a glowup machine and makes one feel so much better. I've never seen someone become WORSE after a shower.
A bit of brushing is better than no brushing. If you hate having to brush yourself or that you have a difficult time doing that, pick a wet brush, they make detangling so easy and have TONS of cute designs to make yourself more excited about that time. Brushed hair is going to make you look and feel better.
If you can't wash all your body, focus on the armpits, underboobs and privates area. Washing them is the minimum and neglecting them is going to cause smells which are gonna make you feel worse about yourself. You don't want this. Wash those areas.
If you got body complexes, a way to partially fix this is WELL FITTED UNDERWEAR. Tight panties cut into the hips and give you a muffin top even if you're skinny as hell. Too tight bras or bralettes give a similar effect. More comfortable underwear is going to make your figure look fantastic. In a time like this no need to worry about looking sexy, you need to feel comfortable, so don't shy away from "grandma panties". (Flashing news: guys don't give a fuck about your underwear.)
Covid special: you can find cute special color throwaway masks that are gonna make you feel so sharp and nice. Pick those in your favourite color and every time you look at yourself in a mirror you'll like it 😘
BAD VIBES, FUCK OFF KINDLY.
If something makes you unhappy, wether it's a friend that drags you down, a irritating object, etc. Get RID of it. No pity, no maybes. Just good vibes around you thank you. If that thing is actually helpful to your life despite it bringing bad vibes, seek to CHANGE it so it fits better into your future life.
Konmari is a lifesaver for me I swear. It helps determine what really matters in your life. DM me if you want resources about Konmari. I'm not a shill, just a fan 🤣
Going out of depression starts with the mindset. If you carry on blaming life, people, objects, circumstances, etc for your depression you're going nowhere and are gonna stay in your shitty situation. The majority of things you blame for your depressive mood probably CAN be changed. You CAN seek another job if you are your current job. There's certainly another job that pays better, treats you better etc. You CAN dump a toxic friendgroup and it's actually better to be alone than be with toxic friends that drag you down. You CAN dump your abusive boyfriend, being single is BETTER than being with an abusive asshole ass. If you settle it means that they're winning over your mind and you're allowing them to work themselves into your mind. Thus worsening your situation.
If you find yourself going on a depression loop ("I feel bad, I am bad, I don't deserve to exist"), go MOVE. I mean it, GO MOVE. Go walk outside, go walk the dog, go clean up your room, go to the local cafe with your laptop to scroll Tumblr, MOVE. Those depression loops are your brain being hyperfixated on one thing because it lacks distraction. It lacks direction, it is staying too still. Go MOVE. Go see the ducks at the local park and give them some seeds, go call a friend to walk together or just talk together. I'm sure they're waiting for you to initiate something together, they're probably hesitating to call you because they don't wanna bother you. Your dog is probably looking at you hoping you'd bring her on a FUN walk and your dog is always gonna be happy doing it. Even if the idea of moving seems so exhausting it's the first steps that take the most effort but once you did it you'll feel so proud of yourself. You did it.
If you respect yourself first, by your self-care, environment and grooming, you're signaling to others that they must respect you. If you don't respect yourself, it signals to others that they can walk all over you and stample you down further into depression.
DON'T EAT CRAP AND EAT WELL.
Junk food is really comforting isn't it? But you absolutely know that it contributes to bad health overall. It makes you feel nauseous, makes you gain weight like crazy and doesn't gives your precious body cells the nutriments they crave so much. Do yourself a grace, eat nutritious meals at least once per day.
Meal prepping is your friend. Again, it spares you the precious mental energy waste and you can redirect your small mental energy on the stuff that requires it. Do 2-3 days at a time, it's so less daunting to do and doesn't gets as boring as 7 days meal prep.
Half your dish should be veggies and fruits. 1/4 your dish should be carbs like pasta, rice, etc. 1/4 should be your proteins.
If you can't muster up the energy to make nutrious meals, at least pop in a multivitamin. Vitamin D deficiencies are strongly associated with depression, and most multivitamins have vitamin D too. Consume while eating a meal for max effect.
Don't drink coffee/tea one hour before a meal and two hours after a meal as it will decrease your iron absorption (iron deficiency = weakness + lack of energy)
DRINK YOUR WATER. It's insanely important and enough water will make you feel more energized.
AVOID ALCOHOL as it is a depressant (aka it worsens the situation). All it is gonna do is give you a temporary happy buzz but it doesn't attacks the problem at the core.
No junkfood in the house, avoid bringing them inside the home. Just don't. If you family brings those in, you could discuss with them about a specific place to store them, away from immediate view.
I know it looks so daunting all those tips together but it did work for other people and for me. If you want to heal and become better, write those down on a sheet of paper and place those on your fridge, to remind you of what to do.
Those seem to be superficial tips but trust me, a shitty lifestyle only worsens the situation and makes you even more miserable.
I strongly recommend to check your therapy solutions, a good vent/cry relieves the heart and the therapist is going to give you journaling resources and advice. Check our your local universities for cheap therapy solutions, teletherapy, if you're still a student see if your school offers therapist/counselor times. You're not obligated to go every week, you can go once per month or at need if you don't have the money for that.
I am a former depressed person, and all those are solutions that helped me the most and I'm passing those on for anyone that might need a lifestyle revision. It sucks immensely, I know but don't give up. Its not always gonna be like that, the more work you pour into it the better it actually gets. 💎
𝐃𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐠 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝
(I'm not familiar with headcanons but I do hope this suffices. <3)
My first initial thought is why wouldn’t he?
He’s lived centuries, the appeal of someone wouldn’t even phase him
At first, he didn’t want to approach you, not because of who you were but because of the air of confidence you carried yourself in.
He’d particularly like your confidence. How you hold yourself etc.
Druig at first would be hesitant, after all. He treads lightly with his emotions and to think he genuinely fell for someone and that person being human, I think he would be apprehensive at first.
But you were so warm and comforting
Once he falls, he falls extremely hard. He has a process to him, he'll take time to think about it. But once he realises his feelings, he'll only see you.
In a world full of war, he'd hold you on a pedestal. Above himself.
Your size would be nothing to him
"Have I given you a reason to think I don't like you because of how you look?"
He wouldn't be mad that you pegged him to be the judgemental type
actually, that's a lie he would be slightly livid
He'd find ways to make you see how beautiful you are
cheesy romance I'm assuming, he's such a sullen person around everyone, he'd bask in the moment of being with you and the cheesiness of his affection wouldn't be what he'd focus on
Tucking a hair behind your ear and dragging his fingers along your jaw.
he'd dedicate his life to you because you were human
Would love your confidence but still would be wary
“Here take my jacket”
flirtatiously pining after you
Continuing on he’s lived for centuries thing
Druig could care less about your size, he’s been alive for centuries. Whether you were small and dainty, large and fickle he would not throw any attention towards that
To him, you are his world
And he thinks the world should be treated with the utmost care
Amidst your confidence, you were treading lightly around him
You still had those voices in the back of your head reminding you of his physique and how that didn’t match up
Of course, he knew, he always did. He disliked having to go into your mind because he thought that was a little borderline but he wanted to make sure you were okay.
Like that one time you had barely spoken to him during the day, he asked and comforted you but he knew deep down something was wrong.
You are a human so he takes extra precaution towards your safety and his confession of course.
Once he found out though, he would frown in confusion.
You were beautiful, stunning, god-like. An absolute treasure in his stormy eyes
“You're the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen”
The moment he realised his feelings he would be super protective of you
If anyone made any comments on your appearance he would immediately shut them down.
“Say that again, I dare you”
He wasn’t a physical person, to begin with, but for you, he would do just that. Maybe not physically fight them but he would take advantage of his abilities and make them do something horrendous or embarrassing
“Are you serious Druig?” You would ask after the sales lady had made a comment on how they didn’t have your size with a look in her eyes that shone with ignorance
He would be nonchalant towards your reaction. They deserved it anyways.
Physicality, not his thing? Please, he loves all of you.
Most particularly your thighs and your back.
And every other additional thing you had.
Back kisses, hands around your thighs in comfort.
He liked it when you lay on his chest so he could wrap his arms around you
Softest mf ever
I feel like he’d give you reassuring kisses along your neck and shoulders
When you're sleeping he either had his arms wrapped around your head so you can lay on his chest or he would have his wrapped around your waist so he would lean his head against your chest.
He liked the softness of your body compared to his.
He would be worried that he may do something to hurt you
“Wear the dress, my love, you look stunning”
Would be a tease and give you light kisses while pulling the strap back up
“Or off, either way, I wouldn’t mind”
When you're sleeping together he would pull your thigh up to his waist and hold it there, he liked the comfort of them.
It gets to a point where you are his only form of comfort and he grew fearful for once in his life
He wouldn’t let you go because he was afraid of what the world might do to you but he also would have to take time for himself just to think. To make sure you were okay.
He loved holding your hips and giving them a light squeeze when he’s teasing you, would use your hips to anchor you closer to him
Sukuna x Reader// hcs
loads of crack and fluff. putting makeup on the grumpy curse🥺
this is a side drabble to “and when he walks in, I am loved. I am loved.” (not necessary to have read it as these are independent headcanons)
- you’ve been Yuji’s best friend since forever, and also one of the rare “outsiders” to know about the centuries old curse that lives within him.
- and you have spent enough time with Yuji for him to be assured about your safety if he was to ever shift suddenly.
- and even though Sukuna has grown to “tolerate you”, there is nothing more he loves than to annoy you every chance he gets.
- which leads to a lot of bickering. like a lot! Yuji wants to rip his hair out every time it starts.
- said bickering eventually leads to the curse regretting it’s existence in the whole wide world on one unfortunate day.
- you were dragging Yuji across the arcade to the alien ship shooting game for the 50th time in that week alone.
- you were startled by the sudden voice of the curse, who further made you yelp as you realised it wasn’t just his mouth that had spoken. it was him.
- had you driven Yuji to such an edge that he thought shifting was a better option?
- “Why are your stupid antics even more annoying than any other day brat?”
- this statement from him paved the way to your usual round of bickering.
- said bickering leading to a bargain being made as Sukuna didn’t wish to be annoyed by the menacing sounds of the guns in the game you had dragged him up to,
- “you have been trying to win the facile task for longer than the span of my life-“
-“well why don’t you give it a try then since you’re so sure about it being easy?”
- and when has the curse ever stepped away from a challenge ?
- pfftt this wasn’t even a challenge, this was a mere stupid simulation made for the entertainment of humans (if only he could shoot actual people with those guns)
- and that’s how a bargain was made.
- sukuna claiming that he’ll win the game in less than a blink of your eye, and then you’d never drag them back into this wretched place again.
- “but if you lose” the curse raised an eyebrow as if daring you to speak,
- “...I get to do your makeup”
- his eyes narrowed at that but he brushed you off, since he knew that there was no way you’d actually win,
- “Ah no! This box is an absolute piece of trash.”
- “hey stop kicking the game !” You said trying to shush down the curse as you got strange looks from the people around.
- You had never been more grateful for Yuji’s uniform covering the marks on his face.
- “Anyways, you’ve lost the bargain about 3 times by now. Time for me to get my due” You said with a grin slowly making it’s way up your face (I imagine it as the same look Hange gets when she sees titans)
- He’d never admit it but Sukuna had never felt this terrified of a teenage girl who was half his size before.
- and that’s how he found himself sitting down on the corner of your bed, you hovering over him with a dozen different products and tools.
- “hmm would you look better in bronze eyeshadow or plum...” you asked no one in particular.
- “Let’s just go with both!” you exclaimed while pulling out even more stuff from the small bag that seemed to contain the entirety of the universe.
- The worst part about the whole thing was that Sukuna knew you weren’t doing this to mock him. He could feel it in your tone that you were genuinely excited to adorn him with these products.
- He scowled as you held his face up, trying to pull away at first, but then sighing and stilling as you gave him a pointed look that said “you brought this upon yourself”
- soon enough, he found his eyes fluttering closed as you rubbed some lavender scented cream into his skin.
- the curse had never really gotten any kind of affection you know...?
- so these new sensations were an absolute treat to him as he tried not to purr when you massaged that one spot on his jaw
- “what am I doing?” He thought to himself. He’d barely even have to lift a finger to crush you to pieces.
- And suddenly, he regretted that thought coming into his mind as he realised that it truly unsettled him.
- he hadn’t particularly considered how human you were before. anyone could easily make your breath stop in the span of less than a second.
- at that moment, he convinced himself that this part that felt protectiveness over you wasn’t even him. That it was just the feelings of his vessel being projected onto him.
-Nonetheless, it didn’t stop him from clenching his fists and inwardly thinking of all the ways he’d destroy anyone who even dared to think of hurting you.
- “tsk tsk, stop clenching your eyes so hard, I don’t wanna end up blinding you.”
- relaxing his eyes at your voice, it was only now that he realised how close you had gotten to him.
- and was that your...knee placed in between his spread legs? (ensue mental screaming)
- however out of everything, this was the most foreign feeling,
- your hand holding the side of his face so tenderly. so gently. as if he was fragile one here.
- he could hear your heartbeat in his ears as you dragged something over the lid of his eye. why was it racing?
- why were you being so careful with him? was this a ploy? because at that moment, he’d have given up his own sanity just to feel you hold him like that every day.
- he almost wanted to whine at the loss of your warmth as you pulled away.
- “there you go” you said while pulling out a small mirror and placing it in his hand.
- he could barely get a look at his reflection before he felt your hands come back on his cheeks and....squish them?
- “you’re so pretty” you squealed with a smile brighter than the sun itself
- even though he scowled and let out a small growl in response, he found himself leaning more into your touch anyway.
- you were surprised at how easy it was to make him look at the camera while you snapped a thousand pictures, ready to show them to nobara the next time you went shopping with her.
- the curse could not care less about its own vanity, but as it stared at itself in the bathroom mirror, he couldn’t deny that the liner on his eyes and highlighter on his cheekbones accentuated his face a lot
- you had somehow managed to make him look more,,,intimidating? (ah the raw fear of gender envy!)
- he didn’t even bother to wash it off his face, walking out the bathroom only to see you passed out on the bed, one of your legs hanging off the end of it
- putting your leg back up, he pulled a blanket over you, stopping by to run his finger over the adorable scrunch between your brow.
- his hand stilled as your eyes slightly opened,
- “you’re pretty” you mumbled, grabbing the hand he had pulled an inch away from you, too deep in your slumber to be ashamed about having clutched it to yourself while you went back to sleep.
- Sukuna held his breath for the longest time waiting for you to realise who he was. what he was. but you held onto his finger with the same softness that you now held his heart with.
- he leaned down, holding his chin up on his other hand while he gazed at your serene face. He had never been more glad to have lost a bargain.
[ hiatus explanation ]
For as long as you can remember, you have been able to tell when someone is about to die. As long as they are within a week of their death date when you come into contact with them— whether through a face-to-face conversation, an accidental brush past each other, or even eye contact— you will know.
You don’t know how or why you have this ability, but you’ve learned to live with it. Lucky for you, most people you’ve met aren’t about to die, and those who are, well, you’ve come to accept it and simply be especially nice to them. You can’t change their fates, but you might as well pay for their coffee, right?
That aside, you’re a normal college student. Perpetually tired, perpetually stressed, perpetually downing copious amounts of caffeine. You’d expect having a strange ability like foreseeing death to come with a more adventurous life, but yours is as menial and ordinary as anyone’s.
So, deciding to take a break from your studies and in an attempt to add some spice to your life, you pack up your things and move across the country to a bustling little seaside city by yourself. With the sea at your back and a vibrant nightlife to drown yourself in, you hope this will be the perfect setting for the vacation that you, frankly, deserve.
Only months into your new life, people begin to disappear, for lack of a better term. The young girl working at the cafe you frequented, the man you saw at the train station nearly every day, even the neighborhood cat— gone without a trace. Like they never existed.
Less than a week later, they’re found. Dead and washed ashore on the beach, but found.
Less than a week since you last saw some of these people, and yet you didn’t know they were going to die.
Thrown for a loop and determined to look into their deaths yourself, you and your motley crew find yourselves drawn deeper and deeper into the mystery… and the sea that surrounds you.
🌊 a customizable MC (name, pronouns, appearance, personality)!
🌊 found family dynamics with six main characters!
🌊 romance one of four ROs, develop a mentor/sibling relationship with two other characters!
🌊 the ability to play as aro/ace, with the lack of a romantic route not affecting anything!
🌊 spooky stuff!
🌊 a plot! (hopefully!)
🌊 emmett coelho langley. he/him. 16 years old. 5’8. biromantic, asexual. non-RO. a kid you kept running into at your favourite cafe until you eventually developed a friendship over pastries and warm drinks. emmett is soft-spoken and somewhat awkward, but reveals a surprisingly sarcastic sense of humour once he opens up.
🌊 muriel elvire de la rue. she/her. 25 years old. 5’11. pansexual. RO. technically your landlord but more like your roommate, she’s the beloved granddaughter of the sheriff and daughter of the chief physician. charismatic, kind, and seemingly selfless, she has a soothing presence about her that puts everyone around her at ease.
🌊 kahale jonah drewitt ( ianthe ). he/him. 21 years old. 5’9. demiromantic, bisexual. RO. your neighbor and elvire’s best friend. ridiculously good at both first person shooters and makeup looks, kahale is a crossdresser and livestreamer by the name of ianthe. he’s outgoing and sociable, but a general maker of bad decisions.
🌊 xinghe maxwell xiao. he/him. 17 years old. 5’10. homosexual. non-RO. the youngest child of the xiao family, xinghe has just moved back to the states from boarding school in china. short-tempered and angry at pretty much everything, you first encounter him while he’s camping out at the cafe after running away from home.
🌊 zhixing vincent xiao. he/him. 27 years old. 6’1. panromantic, demisexual. RO. xinghe’s older brother and the eldest son of the xiao family. you’ve never properly met, but you’ve heard many rumours. though he comes off as standoffish and rude, and has drowned himself in work and responsibilities, vincent is still the local heartthrob.
🌊 avery ellis bartley. she/her. 22 years old. 5’5. bisexual. RO. an old classmate of yours who arrived in the city mere days before the disappearances, yet avery appears unruffled and almost unsurprised by everything. she’s laid-back and takes everything thrown at her in stride, reacting only with witty quips and sharp smiles.
[ character info ] [ character picrews ] [ character playlists ]
this is very very much a wip. even the plot hasn’t been fully fleshed out yet, but i wanted a blog to put my thoughts regarding the story’s development. i can’t code and i can barely write, plus i’m a senior in high school, so this will take... a long time. nonetheless, i’m excited to work on it!
I have been saying in my past few meta that Yuji has a really unhealthy way of viewing both himself, and his relationships with others. Yuji is excellent at reading the feelings of others and empathizing with them, and at the same time terrible at processing his own emotions, a trait he shares with Geto who he is once again paralleling this chapter by choosing to stew in isolation rather than reach out for support.
Chapter 138 does an excellent job of showing how deep these issues run, which I will explain under the cut.
1. Yuji and Geto
If I were to explain the unhealthy mindset Yuji has by simplifying it down to one sentenence, simply stated it would be “I want to help others, but I don’t want to accept help from other people.”
Both Yuji and Geto are so motivated by empathy they feel like they are responsible for solving other people’s problems, and they often use other people rather than themselves as a reason to move. They’re actually selfless to a fault. In that, it’s a problem in their behavior. They do everything they do for other peope, so they have no idea what they themselves want. If Gojo is someone who has a strong self image, a strong set of beliefs, an idea of what he wants to do to the world, Geto and Yuji are people who try not to think about themselves at all.
Not only does Yuji almost never critically exam his own motivations, but he also doesn’t think of his relationships with other people.
This is something Yaga pointed out as a danger with Yuji’s way of going about things, all the way at the beginning of his arc. If you’re doing it because your grandpa told you so, then is it really something you want to do? When you die, is it going to be your grandpa’s fault too?
Yuji is someone who seems selfless on the surface, and to an extent he is, but just like Geto that’s not all there is to him. It’s something Gojo called out early on, Geto presented himself as someone selfless, motivated entirely by using his powers to protect others, but he was also doing so self righteously.
To clarify what I mean by self righteous, Geto believed that he was doing something because it was the objective right thing to do, but actually it was just his own personal feelings. That’s why after Riko’s death forced him to critically examine himself, he realized he didn’t want to follow the rules of Jujutsu Society.
Both Yuji and Geto pay attention to others, but also have the blinders on in regards to themselves, and that’s the parallel right there. Yuji says he is doing these things for other people, that his number one priority is to save them but that motivation is even deconstructed in the third chapter.
Yuji’s not actually doing this for purely altruistic reasons, but for selfish ones. He wanted to do something that nobody else could do. Yuji’s life was like a vaccuum before this point. He didn’t have any real friends, or anything he wanted to do. Suddenly he had a purpose basically gift wrapped and handed to him on his lap.
Basically, Yuji and Geto both have this schewed way of seeing other people.
They thing other people exist to validate their own existences.
To put it simply.
If Hidden Inventory Geto helps weak people than he’s valid.
If Yuji helps people, then he’s valid.
Not only is the way they view themselves built around how they help other people, but at the same time all of their relationships are built up on this as well. Relationships that are built upon shaky foundations will crumble apart easily when tested.
Geto’s most important relationship was with Gojo, they had an intense chemistry and interaction with one another like they were made for each other. They were both good at naturally balancing each other out, Geto was the one who stood up to Gojo and acted like a tether, and Gojo ackonwledged Geto as his one and only.
However, the relationship was also built on the idea that Gojo needed Geto. Geto was only able to view his relationships with other people in that way. Geto, wants to take care of people, wants to help people. However, eventually, he was left behind by Gojo who no longer needed him as a partner in combat. On top of that, Geto awoke to a higher purpose in ridding the world of cursed energy. Geto wants to be needed by somebody in the same sense that Yuji does, so for Geto at least being needed to save the whole world in his eyes, was just more important than maintaining his relationship with Gojo.
Which is why both Geto and Yuji’s relationships fall apart. They are great at making relationshisps, but not at maintaining them. Attention is drawn to the fact that the trio has great chemistry with each other and get along well, but they’re also terrible at communicating with each other.
"The seats... in my life... How should I put this? I don't want my heart to be affected by people who don't have a place there. Does that sound cold? Well, I guess there are also guys like you who brings their own chair and takes a seat." Translation by Miho.
Almost literally, I don’t want anyone who’s not a part of my life to try to talk to me or tell me what to do. Also the reference that Yuji is kind of different because Yuji just kind of walked into her life unannounced and invited himself there (this is how Yuji forms relationships with everyone.)
All three of them go behind each other’s backs and keep secrets from one another. All three of them avoid direct confrontation, Nobara even says she doesn’t really want anyone else even trying to tell her how to live her life. The Origin of Obedience arc shows that Nobara, Yuji and Megumi are all good at fighting together as a team, but also questioning if they have a healthy friendship outside of that?
Any relationship takes work, confrontation, arguments and even just plain old talking about things. However, someone who is primarily insecure in their relationships will not be able to do things. Couples shouldn’t only argue, but couples who never argue is just as unhealthy. If you are so afraid that one argument is going to end a relationship, then your relationship was fragile to begin with.
Yuji and Geto experience conditional relatinoships.
In the sense that, they are only allowed to have friends, if they are helpful to those friends. They themselves are never allowed to ask for help. It’s true that Gojo was kind of blind to Geto’s faults, but also Geto would have never asked for help. Gojo could not see, and Geto deliberately hid things from them.
Geto always makes his relationships on the condition that he is needed. When Gojo grew more independent, Geto took that as a sign that Gojo didn’t need him anymore and deliberately started to pull away.
Because, Geto isn’t ever allowed to be the one who needs someone else.
2. Avoidant Attachment
This is just a personal theory of mine, but I think Yuji’s issues might even center around the psychological idea of attachment theory. Especially it’s since deliberately mentioned to Junpei, that Yuji never met his mother.
Attachment theory is a complex idea, but basically it states that attachment to other people, that is the idea to form healthy relationships with family members, friends, romantic partners is learned instead of naturally present in us. It’s a skill people develop in their formative years.
Those who show patterns of problematic attachment in childhood will continue the behavior into adulthood unless it’s corrected, because attachment is a skill that’s developed the same as anything else. Of the four categories, Yuji and Geto most resemble this one.
Avoidant attachment: Children with an avoidant attachment tend to avoid parents or caregivers, showing no preference between a caregiver and a complete stranger. This attachment style might be a result of abusive or neglectful caregivers. Children who are punished for relying on a caregiver will learn to avoid seeking help in the future.
Which goes further to explain how they can be so empathic towards other people, and yet the same time completely unable to maintain close relationships with them. It’s because, they avoid people at the same time. They don’t seek out help when they need it, because, deep down they view themselves as unworthy of the help.
Geto did not immediately break after the trauma of losing Riko, it was the year of isolation after that where he slowly was consumed by his regrets. Geto got worse and worse over a period of time because he couldn’t handle his trauma in any healthy way, until he just completely snapped.
During that time he asked himself the same questions over and over again, but Geto wasn’t able to find any kind of healthy answer to his questions because, he didn’t reach out for anybody. It wasn’t just the trauma, it was the behavior after the trauma, the decision to isolate himself for over a year. No one does well in isolation. You need other people to grow or develop. If anything Geto stagnated. Geto’s central flaw was his self-righteousness. Rather than realizing he was wrong and trying to change this flaw of his, he just doubles down and becomes even more self righteous. He goes from believing he’s responsible for protecting all the weak people, to believing he’s a superior being tasked with eliminating all the weak people in the world. So, it’s not really that Geto changed, moreso that he stagnated because he cut off all his relationships with other people.
And isn’t Yuji doing the exact same thing right now? Yaga even points out this similaritiy between Geto and Yuji, that they try to carry every regret and burden they have on their own.
It’s not out of selflessness that they do this though, but rather insecurity. Geto didn’t come to Gojo with his problems, because he wanted to be the strongest alongside Gojo he didn’t want to be weak. He was deliberately avoiding Gojo.
I think it’s important to establish that Yuji wasn’t abandoned by his friends this chapter. Yuji is alone, because he chose to be alone. He’s alone because he’s avoiding both of his friends, because he’s so, so afraid the friendship will end because it’s based entirely on the condition that he be a helpful, good person.
It’s true that Yuji is genuinely worried about his friends getting hurt because of him, but look at his choices. He’s not really tackling the problem in a healthy way. He’s doing everything he can to avoid the problem, isolating himself, and just trying not to think about things. He could try to talk with Megumi and find a solution, but he’s not doing that because he’s insecure in his attachment to others.
I think his reaction to Choso pretty clearly illustrates this too. Yuji isn’t around his friends because he doesn’t want to be around them. Which is tragic, because Yuji is holding himself responsible for the mass murder which isn’t really his fault. However, Yuji saw his relationship with both Nobara and Megumi as conditional to begin with. He can only be friends with people he can help, and he can never receive help from them. It’s unhealthy to start with because relationships go both ways. Yuji is also, completely unresponsive to Choso.
Choso suddenly walking to him and delcaring them brothers is really weird.
I don’t expect Yuji to just suddenly start getting along with him right away.
At the same time, Choso explains what the unconditional love between family is between Yuji, and Yuji just doesn’t get it, because he either hasn’t experienced enough of it, or his grandpa the only person that ever unconditionally loved him is gone. Yuji can’t understand Megumi’s love for him is unconditional,. because from the beginning he sees all relationships as conditional.
Yuji and Choso are facing opposite direcitons because they’re opposites. Choso is willing to hurt complete strangers too, but his love for his family is unconditional and he will do anything for them. Yuji will help complete strangers, but, he doesn’t really understand unconditional love, and even his love with his closest friends has a few conditions.
Which is why someone who appears on the surface as such a friendly guy who makes friends everywhere he goes, can call himself “a loner” because in Yuji’s mind he is. He doesn’t have friends, he has people who need him.
Which is just incredibly sad because Yuji doesn’t understand this. Yuji isolates himself thinking he’s doing it for the sake of his friends, but neither Megumi nor Nobara would want him to be alone.