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#hope you have the best time on stage doing what you love most

jrockmagazines · 2 days

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<RUKI> about memorial

After all the members gathered together and spoke about the memorial concert, we decided to hold the concert on May 27th.

While each member, including myself, has mixed emotions, there is only one reason for holding the concert at this time.

When we thought about what REITA had been happiest and most happy about, we all agreed that it was always hearing the fans' voices and seeing everyone having fun at concerts.

REITA's wish that "the GazettE will last forever" and hearing the words of his family "We hope you do your best" made us make this careful decision.

Rather than giving up everything and waiting for our hearts to calm down, we knew that REITA would always be in our hearts and our fans' hearts forever, and holding this concert every year is the truest memorial for REITA and a form of love that band members can give as friends.

We believe that this is our mission as human beings living right now, and we want to continue this wish.

Above all, if we can continue as the GazettE, staying close to all the fans who have said that our band is their lifeblood, who have laughed and cried with us, and who have continued to support us, I believe that the GazettE will become a stronger band than anyone else in the future.

I learned that many people from not only Japan but also overseas have paid tribute to REITA.

I think that someday we all need to go and convey this gratitude to them in person.

So no matter what difficulties we face in the future, we will move forward strongly, believing that our path is the right one.

We will stand on stage with these members and continue to protect a place where everyone can always return to.

When I feel ready to go to a live show again, let me convey my gratitude with a smile.

Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your warm support.

We will all be waiting for you on May 27th.

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idontplaytrack · 3 days

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Band-aids, candy or me

Janis ‘Imi’ike x trans reader(FTM)

Warnings: fluff, some coarse language, mentions of needles/injections

In which, a forgetful reader fails to take their necessary shots if it weren’t for Janis. So Janis had to think of a way to motivate you

I hope I did your request justice, please correct me if I’d used any wrong terminologies. I have never written anything like this before and did the most research I could to educate myself prior to this but I am still learning.

You’d been dating Janis for several months. Ten to be exact. But you two have been friends for years— since you two were in middle school. She’s been with you through it all and has been incredibly supportive of your journey. Janis has stuck with you through thick and thin, and when you were with her, you felt you had no worries in the world. She’s always been there for you even through her worst days where Regina George had been making fun of her together with the whole school. Yeah, things were terrible, but you two knew that you’d always have each others backs. Your family was fortunately supportive, but nothing compares to what you felt with Janis. That was a whole other level of love.

You and Janis naturally got from the best friends stage to dating so naturally that you two didn’t even realise it until she confessed. Damian was and has always been yours and Janis’ biggest supporter. And you two loved him for that. The process was daunting at first because it was so new to you- you had to learn a lot about it and make sure everything was done right and safely. You knew it was the right thing for you, and Janis was undoubtedly there by your side every step of the way. Right now, the worst part of it all was the shots you had to give yourself.

You’ve always been forgetful and Janis always had to remind you repeatedly just so you wouldn’t forget to take them. After awhile, she got a little, creative.

“How about every time you get the shot, I’ll give you a kiss?” She grins playfully, tiptoeing to meet your lips.

You chuckled at her cuteness— something others never got to see. It was great, like your own little secret.

“Mm, no.” You played along, grabbing the bottle and a needle, preparing those and yourself for the shot.

“Oh, no? What do you want then?” She chuckles, helping you with them before you even started.

You bit back a grin, watching her carefully so that the dosage was correct. You never doubted her anyway, but even you yourself had to be extra careful. “How about a little sweet treat afterwards and a kiss?” You suggested jokingly.

“Sure!” Her face lit up, “So, what? Candy, chocolate? Ice cream?”

“Really? I’ll think about it.” You laughed. She helped you with the injection and disposed the sharp object before returning to your side, handing you a bandaid.

“You know I don’t necessarily need one, right?” You took it from between her fingers and put it over the spot anyway.

“I know. But it’s a fun pattern- I thought maybe it could make you look forward to it a little more- I get that getting shots makes you a little nervous.”

“Thanks, baby.” You smiled. She does the same, then pressing a kiss to your cheek. You asked for one on the lips and she delightedly gave it to you.

Janis kept to her word and always gave you a kiss, bandaid and a sweet treat after your weekly shots. It’s taken an important thing and given it some form of…intimacy. She could easily just helped you with the shot itself and called it a day, but no- she decided to make it a thing. She’s always been go big or go home, which you loved.

“Thanks, babe.”

“Don’t even mention it, my love.” She grabs your hand, pressing a kiss on them before letting go and continuing to eat her ice cream.

“Aw, you got ice cream on my hands.” You sulked playfully.

“Sorry.” She gives you a sheepish grin, sticking the spoon back into the dessert.

“But seriously- thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I really am so grateful for you, Jan.”

“I love you.” She answered earnestly, “That’s why. So much.”

“I love you too, baby.” You told her, giving her a tearful smile.

“Don’t cry, babe. Why are you crying?” Her voice was soft as she handed you a napkin for your forming tears.

“Oh, these are happy tears.” You assured, taking the napkin, “You make me feel so safe and happy and loved, Janis. You always have. Always.”

#auli’i cravalho #mean girls 2024 #janis ‘imi’ike #x reader #reader insert #request #requested fic #lgbtqia #sfw fic #drabble

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every-aj-needs-an-angel · 8 months

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Okay this one's been stuck in my head all day but I have absolutely time to write it so please share this vision with me

Try as they might, Steve and Robin couldn't get tickets to Chrissy Cunningham's arena tour, but they could get tickets to a festival she was playing.

The last thing Steve ever wanted to do was go and stand in a muddy field for sixteen hours while they waited for the headline act. But he was pretty sure Robin was in love with her favourite musician, and he wasn't about to deny his best friend a chance at love.

So he helped her make personalised t-shirts because honestly all the other bands in the line-up kinda sounded like they sucked.

His read, "Only Here for Chrissy" on the front and "I'm Steve" on the back and Robin's read "Chrissy, Will You Be My Girlfriend?" on the front and "If Lost, Please Return To Steve" on the back.

And it turned out, as they stood against the barrier in a not so muddy field, on a lovely, warm, but overcast, May day, that even bands that sucked could be fun. Even if it was only because they spent their day with earplugs in, so their eardrums wouldn't combust, bitching about each artist's lack of ability to put notes or an outfit together.

During the lunchtime intermission, the pair made friends with the lesbian couple next to them, Kayla and Jess, who were also eagerly awaiting Chrissy's set and similarly liked to mock those who committed crimes against sound and fashion. Steve was glad to have met them, they were really nice, and he felt better about leaving her to use the bathroom or to fetch food, knowing Robin was in safe hands.

He also felt better about letting her wander off, not that it stopped him from stressing out when she and Kayla had been missing for over fifteen minutes. He spread himself out to keep their places against the railing with his back to the stage, watching the crowd intently. Jess wasn't quite as chatty once they were alone, but she seemed content enough, bobbing along to the band that'd appeared on the stage.

Steve didn't turn back around to face the stage until he spotted the girls heading back towards them, he gave them a wave and turned around to look at the guys who hadn't been attempting to destroy anyone's hearing and was met with the face of the most gorgeous man he'd ever seen. Pretty face, long curly hair tied up in a bun, muscle tee showing off his many tattoos, piercings and chains and glittery Docs; Steve felt himself owl blink and blush.

God's gift to mankind was kneeling centre stage, guitar in hand making the most beautiful sounds Steve had ever heard as his fingers flew over the strings, and it was only when the rest of the band kicked back in that the man looked up, winked directly at Steve, and then jumped back to his feet, spending the rest of the song bouncing around the stage.

Steve only realised his mouth was agape when Robin finally arrived next to him and elbowed him hard in the ribs, giving him the same look she did whenever he was embarrassing in the club. He watched the rest of the Corroded Coffin, according to the backdrop, set in awe. Screaming and clapping along when they wished everyone a great day, throwing picks and drumsticks into the crowd and taking a bow; patting each other on the back as they wandered offstage.

As soon as it was quiet again, Robin wanted to know what the hell was wrong with his face and honestly, he couldn't answer her. He didn't even believe in love, not for himself at least, and he certainly didn't believe in love at first sight. It didn't stop him from spending the next couple of hours watching the faces at the sides of the stage, hoping to catch a glimpse of his new favourite guitarist, though.

As soon as Chrissy hit the stage, Steve got lost, between filming the set and watching Robin trying not to hyperventilate when Chrissy spotted her t-shirt, pointed to her, and giving her a coy little wink, blew her a kiss.

"An old school friend is here with me tonight, and I'd like him to help me out with this next track. Especially for the beauty in the front row, this is Girlfriend!"

The crowd went wild as the beat kicked in, but Steve was still watching Robin because it looked like she'd stopped breathing altogether. That was until she gasped loudly and started smacking Steve in the way she always did whenever she got overly excited; pointing wildly at the stage, and it was only when he looked over he saw Corroded Coffins guitarist bouncing up and down next to Chrissy.

Instead of the black muscle vest and skinny jeans he'd been sporting earlier in the day, he had changed into pale blue board shorts and a baggy white t-shirt that read "Hey Steve!" written in black sharpie with a giant winking smiley face underneath that could only really be seen when he swung his guitar around his back to copy Chrissy's dance moves.

The song ended, and the friends hugged, Chrissy waving him off the stage and calling out, "Eddie Munson everybody!" letting the crowd go wild for her friend before launching into the rest of her set.

By the time Chrissy had actually left the stage, Robin looked exhausted, having screamed and sung and danced herself out. They hung around a bit, said goodbye to Kayla and Jess, wishing them a safe journey home, and they were just taking one last look at the now empty stage when he heard someone yell his name...

#have i written chrissy as avril lavigne???#am i picturing eddie doing the girlfriend dance???#have i thought about little else all day???#can neither confirm nor deny #steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #chrissy cunningham #steddie au #steddie #pre steddie #platonic stobin #platonic hellcheer #buckingham #pre buckingham #steve's pov #aj writes

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harrysfolklore · 3 months

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hi bestie,, idk if u take requests buttt have u seen kieran culkin speech after he won his emmy & then him asking his wife for another baby on stage 😁🤭🤭 idk i thought that would a cute h blurb

that kieran speech was SO CUTE i just had to take this request !!! happy one year of grammy winner Harry for those who celebrate! i hope you like this as much as I do

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

The night had been one for the books.

Harry became a Grammy winner for the second time within the first 30 minutes of the ceremony, getting the award for Best Pop Vocal Album, and your heart bursted with joy and pride and you watched him collect it.

He also delivered an amazing performance even though he had a stage malfunction that was out of his control, and after a few minutes of pep talk backstage, you convinced him that he should be proud of what he did no matter what.

Nights like tonight made you look back at your journey with Harry, from getting frustrated each year when the Grammys refused to give One Direction a nomination, to consoling him when his debut single Sign of the Times got overlooked and celebrating when they finally ave him his long overdue nomination for Fine Line. And now, being one of the most nominated artists of the night and a winner already.

Harry was not an artist that let awards or numbers define his career at all, but you knew that deep down he appreciated getting a nod and recognition for the hard work he puts into his music.

"What's on your mind, honey?" Harry asked and he noticed that you had been quiet for a few minutes, the show was on a commercial break so you could talk freely.

"Just thinking about how am I getting a picture with Beyoncé before the night ends," you joked, making him laugh along, "I'm also thinking about the bub, do you think she's okay?"

Harry couldn't help but smile at the mention of your daughter. Little baby Styles had been welcomed into the world a year and a half ago, looking like an exact carbon copy of Harry with curls, dimples and charming green eyes.

It's safe to say that she became Harry's entire world from the moment he saw her for the first time.

"I bet she's fast asleep by now after snuggling with mum for hours," you smiled at the thought, "You know she's obsessed with mum."

"She just loves her nana," you almost cooed, "And her Grammy winner daddy, even tho she doesn't have any idea what that means."

"You know," Harry began, and by the look on his face you knew he was up to no good, "She could become obsessed with her bay brother or sister too, if we decided to give her one."

The smirk on Harry's face after his statement was almost devilish, making you look him with wide eyes and a grin on your own.

"Are you asking me for another baby in the middle of the Grammys?" Harry shrugged, the smirk not leaving his face, "You're a menace. But, maybe if you win, I'll think about it."

Before Harry could reply, the lights dimmed signaling that commercial break was over and it was time for more awards, more specifically, the most important award of the night: Album of the Year.

Trevor Noah, the host, talked about the importance and meaning of the award, the fans the production had invited to support the nominees stood beside him in a line.

You could barely focus on what was being said because your eyes were fixed on Harry's hand gripping yours tightly, and you felt like throwing up from nerves if you looked at the stage.

And the Grammy goes to…” Trevor spoke into the mic, making a dramatic pause that felt way too long and made you finally look up no the stage, noticing that he was standing in front of Reina, Harry's fan.

And that was the moment you knew, the Album of the Year was Harry's House.

“It’s you!” both you ans Jeff whisper-yelled in unison, looking at each other with shocked faces and making Harry give you a confused look.

“What do you-” and before he could even finish his sentence his name was being called out and the trumpets from Music for a Sushi Restaurant filled the place.

Harry immediately covered his face in disbelief, shaking his head and taking in in the moment. You couldn't help but stand up and jump in your place, adrenaline and excitement, but mostly pride, running through your veins.

"My love, you won! Harry's House won!" you said into his ear when he finally wrapped his arms around you, pecking the side of yiur head repeatedly before kissing your lips quickly.

"I love you," was all he said before getting rushed into the stage along with his collaborators and friends.

"Shit!" was the first thing that came out of his mouth once he had his Grammy in hand, making everyone laugh, “I mean,shit! I’ve been so, so inspired by every artist in this category with me. At a lot of different times in my life I listen to everyone in this category when I’m alone,” he took a breath,"I think on nights like tonight, it’s obviously so important for us to remember that there is no such thing as best in music. I don’t think any of us sit in the studio thinking, making decisions based on what is gonna get us one of these.”

You stood with your hands clutched to your chest, your eyes filled with happy tears and nothing but love and admiration for him.

"I'd like to thank my mom and my sister for being my biggest supporters and giving me a great childhood, I would be nowhere without you," he paused to look directly at you from the stage, his eyes immediately watering again, "And of course my beautiful wife, YN. Thank you for sharing your beautiful life with me and giving me an amazing daughter who is the reason I do what I do everyday,"

You were unaware of the camera focusing on your and catching the moment you mouthed an 'I love you' to him from your place.

"I love you both so much, you mean the world to me. And YN," he paused, the devilish look from earlier making his way to his face again, along with a teasing raised eyebrow that told you that he was about to do something major, "I want another one."

The entire arena erupted into laughs and cheers, Jeff clapped and whistled from beside you and you couldn't help but cover your face in shock and embarrassment, astonished by Harry's anctics.

"You said, maybe if I won, and I did!" the crowd laughed even more, "I love you, so much. Thank you for this, I'll never forget it."

Harry got off the stage and you met him backstage to congratulate him properly, after a final performance the night came to an end and everyone headed outside the arena to celebrate.

"Do you feel like partying tonight? The label is throwing a celebration but if you feel tired we can skip it," Harry said as you both sat on the back of his Range Rover.

"Honestly, I just want to go home, kiss our baby goodnight and celebrate with my Grammy winner husband in private," you smiled at him teasingly, "Maybe get started on that second baby making."

The smile that appeared on Harry's face after hearing your words was bigger than the one from winning a Grammy.

"Home it is, then."

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles headcanon #harry styles fic #harry styles au #harry styles fake social media #harry styles story #harrysfolklore #harry styles masterlist #harry styles fic rec #harry styles grammy #1k

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lomlhwa · 2 months

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y'know what they say about guitarists (c.s)

pairing: guitarist!san x vocalist!reader

preview: san has watched you flirt with entire crowds. he just wants some of that attention too.

tags/warnings: fem reader, mentions of drummer!mingi, bassist!yunho and stage manager!seonghwa, ONE BED TROPE WHO CHEERED, possessive san, spit play, pet names (good girl, pretty girl, sweet girl), praise, pussy drunk san, dacryphilia, lots of hickeys, unprotected penetration (wrap it before you tap it), creampie, cockwarming

trigger warnings: n/a

w/c: 2.0k

song recs for this fic: any chase atlantic tbh (slow down, swim, heaven and back)

a/n: this lovely fic is dedicated to @kitten4sannie to celebrate my return to writing! i hope you like this ml!

as you’re onstage playing a gig for a couple thousand people, you feel like you’re in your element. nothing feels better than being onstage with your bandmates. your hips sway to the music coming from the musicians sharing the stage with you.

you give playful winks and body rolls to the fans in the front row. something that always catches your guitarists eye. though, his rhythm never falters.

jealousy always courses through him. he wants to receive those playful gestures from you. you even wink at mingi, your drummer from time to time. the beloved bassist, yunho, receives the most of your onstage affection. hugs, cheek kisses, etc. makes the male fans jealous. makes san’s blood boil.

your angelic voice rings through the in-ear monitors that each band member wears. it sends shivers down san’s spine. so talented and so incredibly beautiful.

as your gig ends, you giggle and thank the fans who attended. “thank you guys so much for coming! i love you! we’ll see you next time!” you bow and flounce your way backstage in your cute outfit. your band members follow suit, bowing and running backstage.

“thank was great guys! well done,” you stage manager says. you wrap your arms around his shoulders and smile. “thanks hwa.” you let go of him and turn to yunho. “yuyu, your guitar playing was extra good today!” you exclaim, smiling so brightly that the sun might have competition. you peck his cheek before running off to your stylist to get changed.

san’s shoulders slump, knowing that he won’t receive those small actions of affection from you. “feeling left out, sannie?” mingi asks, towering over the smaller guitarist. san nods, not bothering to look up at mingi.

“why don’t you just talk to her? there’s gotta be a reason she’s reserved around you,” yunho points out from across the room. his makeup artist is hunched over him, removing his makeup ever so carefully.

“talk to who about what?” you say, suddenly coming out of your dressing room. you’re beautiful even now; no makeup and in your pajamas. “no one. nothing,” san blurts out. fuck. he’s so stupid. “okay,” you smile, sipping your water through a straw.

“you guys ready to go back to the hotel?” you ask and the other three members nod in unison. you grab your bag and head for the door. “san’s rooming with you tonight, y/n.” you look back at yunho with wide eyes. “oh! um, okay.” you give san a confused look before heading out the door.

san flips yunho off before following you out the door. you all pile into the company van and sit in comfortable silence as you head to the hotel. you file out of the van when you pull up, security making sure no fans get to you. you scurry into the building and do your best to sneak into your hotel rooms. you sigh dramatically as you get the door shut.

you turn around to find san staring at your hotel room in horror. “what’s the probl-” you cut yourself off when you find that your room only has one queen sized bed. “shit,” you mutter. you drop your bag on the floor before you whip your phone out and dial seonghwa’s number.

“hwa, what the actual fuck? one bed?” san can hear seonghwa trying to explain. he picks up pieces of the conversation. something about this being all that was left when he was booking. something else about telling you to suck it up. you mutter some insults before hanging up on seonghwa.

“i can just sleep on the floor, it’s fine y/n,” san drops his bag on the floor and sits down on the ground next to the bed. “no, san, we can share the bed. we’re touring. i don’t want your limbs to ache,” you shake your head as you climb into the bed. you pat the space next to you and he clambers onto the mattress.

after a couple hours, you’re both laying on your backs in the dark, in silence. “hey y/n?” san says, finally breaking the silence. you give him a soft hum in response. “can i ask you about something that’s been bothering me?” he asks. you hum again.

“why don’t you give me the same attention you give mingi, yunho and seonghwa? no hugs, no pecks, nothing. you’ll skip over me just to give the ones beside me those things. why? did i do something to make you uncomfortable? or scared to do those things for me?” san can feel you tense up next to him. he wonders why that’s how you reacted.

“cause…” you trail off. san can see the outline of you sit up in the dark. “cause i have a crush on you. if i gave you that affection, i would never survive. if i gave you a single hug, i would never let go. if i kissed your cheek, i would never be able to keep it from turning into a real kiss,” the confession hangs in the air like a spiderweb. he sits up, like you did. “why didn’t you tell me?” san asks. you sigh and shrug, despite the fact that he can barely see you.

“i didn’t wanna ruin the band dynamic. i didn’t wanna risk you not reciprocating and making things awkward between us. i was just scared that-” san pulls your head back so he can meet your lips with his. it’s swift, but it’s enough to make you sputter in shock.

“i’ve liked you since we even started this band, sweet girl.” despite being in the dark, he maneuvers you onto your back and hovers over you. his cologne envelops you and you shiver.

“can i…. kiss you again?” san asks tentatively. he ghosts his fingers over your ribcage, making you squirm. “yes, please, san,” you respond. with your permission, he connects your lips in a surprisingly soft kiss. he lips melt with yours, finding a slow pace. his tongue drags over your bottom lip, asking for your plump lips to part.

your warm mouth welcomes san’s tongue as it pokes and prods at your inner cheek and fights with your own tongue. your hips grind up into his, searching for friction. he groans against your lips and it sounds more beautiful than any sound that’s ever come out of his guitar.

his hands gravitate towards your hips to hold them down, keeping you from grinding anymore. “we can’t…” san whispers. “they’ll hear us.” you shake your head and pull him back down to you, kissing him more feverishly. “fuck… you make it so hard to resist you.” you whine against his lips, fighting his weight holding your hips down. “please, i need you.”

you can feel a moment of hesitation from him before he just lets himself relax into you. his hands leave your hips and you immediately grind up. his jaw falls open and you shudder at the sound that comes out of him again.

you grab his hand and drag it under your shirt, wrapping his hand around your breast. your spine arches as he pinches your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. “sannie-” your breath gets caught in your throat when his mouth moves to your neck and he nibbles on your skin lightly.

“fuck, i can’t wait. let me undress you, sweet girl,” san begs you, his voice low and desperate. you tangle your fingers in his hair and nod as well as you can. his hand leaves your breast and helps his other hand to lift your shirt off you. you lift your torso up to allow for it to come off you completely. he wastes no time in allowing his own shirt to follow suit. your hands run down his chest to his abs, pressing against the muscle lightly. his hands undo the drawstrings on your sleep shorts, sliding your shorts and underwear down together.

“off,” you mumble, clawing at his plaid pajama pants. he giggles and slides his pants down, discarding them with the rest of the clothes. he runs his hands over your bare thighs, spreading your legs gently. san’s hands run up and down your skin as he leans back down to kiss you. “condom?” he whispers and you shake your head. “no, wanna feel you.”

san continues to kiss you as one of his hands moves down to his cock, stroking it a few times. he lines the tip up with your hole and sucks in a deep breath. he presses your thighs apart as he shoves his cock inside you, sheathing himself to the hilt. your hips stutter as your walls flutter around him.

your jaw falls slack and san finds purchase in kissing your jawline and your throat. he pulls out to the tip before slamming back into you and you slam your hand over your mouth to keep from crying out.

san lifts himself onto his palms to trap you between his arms. “you know what, sweet girl?” he says between thrusts, “you’re fucking mine. you hear me? mine,” his lips are right next to your ear, whispering these words into your brain. “you belong to me,” he grabs your face and forces you to face him.

“your lips? mine,” he kisses you roughly before pulling away again. “your pretty tits? mine,” he leans down to kiss your skin, leaving dark marks in the wake of his lips. “your pretty little pussy? it’s fucking mine,” san speeds up his thrusts to prove his point. your back arches and his tip jabs at the perfect gummy spot inside you.

“fuck, you’re such a good girl. your pussy is so fucking good. so wet, so warm. you take me so fucking perfectly. my pretty girl. open your mouth for me,” you open your mouth immediately and he leans down to spit in your mouth. “swallow.” your jaw snaps shut to swallow his saliva.

as your orgasm builds up, tears spring into your eyes. your chest heaves with tight sobs of just how fucking good it feels. “are you crying? does it feel that good, sweet girl?” you wipe your tears away messily, embarrassed that you’re even crying.

wiping your tears was pointless because when his thrusts speed up again, new tears fall immediately. “fuck, oh my god san that feels so fucking good,” you cry out, a little bit too loud. your thighs spasm as you try to close them, but san’s hips between your legs keep you wide open.

“i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna cum, please,” your hands claw as san’s biceps, your climax being right there. “me too. where do you want it, pretty girl?” he asks, his hips becoming more and more feverish. “inside, fuck, cum inside me.” san bites his bottom lip as his thrusts become sloppier.

you wrap your arms around his torso and bring him down to you so you can dig your nails into his back. he rests his body weight on his elbows and you clench around him. “cumming,” you whisper as your back arches for a final time before stuttering back down. the intensity of your walls gushing around him finally sends san over the edge.

the two of you just lay there completely still as ropes of cum fill up your abused hole. your legs wrap around his hips so that he won’t pull out before you want him to. “you’re so perfect. you’re so beautiful, so pretty when you cum,” he strokes your hair as he whispers in your ear again.

“let me pull out so you can go to the bathroom and then we can sleep, okay?” you shake your head. “no. no. stay. roll over so i’m on top. lemme sleep with you inside. please. please, sannie,” you begging goes right to his head and he does exactly as you asked. with you situated on top of him, cock still inside, he pulls the blanket over the two of you. “we have to get up early to shower though, okay?” you nod.

_____________

“good morning love bugs. your throat gonna be okay to sing tonight?” yunho smirks at you and you smack san. “hey! i was the one who said they were gonna hear us!” he cries out. “at least you finally fucked,” mingi comments.

“yeah, real fuckin good,” seonghwa comments, looking exhausted. he was in the room right next to yours. he shakes his head. “i’m sorry hwa.”

“get in the fucking van.”

#lomlhwa #ateez #atz #san #choi san #ateez smut #atz smut #san smut #choi san smut

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walpu · 2 months

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hey, hey, I don't know how many times I've read your post "pre-relationship" especially aventurine part (omg i love how you write abt him 😭). I wonder how it will be once they are in a relationship and the kissing part please :3 thank u and have a nice day!

THANK YOUUUUU

Hope you'll enjoy this post too💛💛💛

being in a relationship with Aventurine

characters - Aventurine notes - gn!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort (do I even write something other that hurt/comfort for him lmao), no beta

can be seen as a part 2 of this post but it can stan on it's own as well

Aventurine

It would take quite some time for Aventurine to move from the pre-relationship stage with you. Will dance around the subject, throwing hints and flirty remarks but as for making an actual move? Oof.

Would cling to your side and shamelessly say something like "aww, can't get enough of me? people may think we're dating <З unless that's what you want them to think haha"

Pathetic. /affectionally.

But seriously, he really wants to be sure that you like him before making a move. That you like him, not his money, not the idea of him. At least that's what he tells himself. And while this is part of the reason, the actual thing is that he's simply... confused. He's already more vulnerable around you than he ever was around anyone else. And dating means being even more vulnerable.

While he yearns for this genuine connection he's also a scared of it. Tim Kreider wrote the line "If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known" about him actually. Source: trust me bro.

It would take some time for him to get used to being in relationship. In the previous post I've mentioned that he, most likely, had some short flings in the past. I seriously doubt that he ever had any serious relationship before you though. It's so new to him. At first it would seem like nothing has changed between the two of you at all. Surprisingly, it looks like he even became a bit more distant.

Aventurine doesn't want to attract any unwanted attention to your relationship since it will only endanger you. Plus he doesn't want to overwhelm you. Plus he doesn't want to overwhelm himself. Plus he is scared shitless.

He can't help but feel that he looses everything he holds dear. After all, it's been like that for all of his life. And he simply can't loose you.

Mini spoiler for his leaked character story, but there is a moment there when he looks at the aventurine stone Diamond gave him and he realizes that despite the fact that he worked so hard for it, now that he has it, it holds no real value since it doesn't fill the emptiness inside of him. Logically, he knows that this won't happen with you. He loves you too much. But there's this subconscious fear inside of him that he's just so messed up inside that he simply would not be able to love you like you deserve.

Be patient with him, this mans doesn't know what he's doing. Don't give up on him and he'll crawl to your side, holding onto you for dear life.

Once he will calm down a bit, he'll make it up for all those times when you were the one reaching out to him. Texts you, calls you, arranges spontaneous dates.

In the beginning of relationship would spoil you with expensive gifts. He knows what it's like to have nothing so he doesn't want you to ever feel this way. And the best way to prevent it? To make sure that you will have anything and everything. Maybe it's a subconscious way to bribe you. Maybe. Not like he realizes it himself.

Once he'll feel more stable and more confident, his gift giving tendencies will get less overwhelming. He still like giving you gifts but now he picks and chooses. His sugar darling deserves only the best, after all.

Acts all clingy, playful and unserious but actually listens to your every word and is ready to fulfil your every need.

Is actually very caring. Shows his care by pestering you and easing you tho.

If you feel down, will sit stay by your side. May randomly start tickling you, if you're ticklish. If not, will find another way to touch you in a playful and somewhat annoying way. After you cheer up a bit, Aven will put his chin on your shoulder and hugs your waist, softly asking what happen and why is his dearest darling seems sad.

As for kisses. Aven will loooove covering your face with butterfly kisses. And not only your face. Will randomly grab your hand and kiss your knuckles and fingertips. If you've made a mistake of exposing your shoulder then be ready for it to be kissed endlessly.

Adores kissing those parts of your body that are usually covered with clothes. It feels fore intimate for him.

And if you have freckles or/and beauty marks. Oh well. Will trace them with his fingertips, connecting them with some invisible lines and sometimes gasp playfully, saying that he found his constellation. Just a silly little guy being a silly little guy.

So touch-starved it's unreal.

Has very mixed feeling about his tattoo being kissed. Would feel... weirs if you would kiss it during your casual cuddling session. He exposes it for the world to see, yes. But still, when it attracts attention of someone who knows the meaning behind it... Makes him a bit tense, it catches him off-guard. However, if you kiss it after a lovemaking session or when he shares some painful memories with you, he will feel reassured.

Will slowly start crawling out of his shell when he's with you. Before he only shared some brief memories of his past with you, now he'll start slowly opening up about other, much more painful stuff.

It still happens randomly and out of the blue. He remembers something, he tenses up. But now, instead of repressing this feelings, he shares them with you.

Don't push him too talk, he'll slowly open up on his own.

Loves waking up next to you. Especially if you're still asleep. Seeing the sun shining on your face fills him with love and tenderness. Only with you by his side he feels truly safe.

#one day i'll learn to control my word vomit and my post'll stop being so fuckass long #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr aventurine #aventurine x reader #aventurine #walp's writing #reader insert

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thebibliosphere · 7 months

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I love how transparent you are about what its like to be a self published author in this day and age, and i was just wondering if there was a difference on your side between amazon ebook/paperback and audible - and also if Scribd is any better, because i use it as an alternative to amazon whenever possible (and whenever the library doesnt own a copy of whatever im looking for) is it functionally all the same? What is best for you?

Thank you!

I actually did a huge long post a while back when I got the audiobooks produced and uploaded to various platforms. I included Scribd in the breakdown after people falsely claim that Scrib is better for authors than Amazon/Libraries.

A lot of people were not happy when I burst that particular bubble by showing that Scribd paid me 97 cents out of the 19.99 price tag. Which is less than what Audible paid me.

Now, obviously, Scribd is different because it's a subscription service, and you’re paying for access to multiple things with that subscription. But saying it is better than libraries is just false because I also showed the numbers for that, and my income from libraries was several times higher than both Scribd and Amazon combined (for audio), which is why authors are always begging people to request their work in libraries.

Libraries pay us better and are usually free. Not always. I know it depends heavily on the country, but for most of my English-speaking audience, that is the case.

Now, this is not to say people shouldn’t use services like Scribd. If Scribd is what you can afford and it gives you access to things your library can’t fantastic. Please continue to access our work through that legal option. I would much rather earn 97 cents than zero.

But uh, yeah, Amazon pays me more than Scrib for digital stuff and I really don’t like when people who aren’t on the author side spread misinformation and frame it as some more “gotcha.”

The sad truth is Most retailers pay us the same or within the same royalty range. The difference I earn between Kobo vs Kindle is literal pennies with Amazon coming out on top. I make my work available on multiple platforms to give people options, but unless you’re buying directly from my personal storefront, it's all roughly the same.

I do actually earn more from Amazon paperbacks than I do any other retailers (for self-pub, paperbacks are a flat rate regardless of how much a retailer is charging), but the difference is about ten cents, so I always tell people to buy from wherever is best for them.

I like bookshop.org because they give some of the profit on their end to indie bookstores. Same with libro.fm for audio.

Audiobooks are just a whole fucking nightmare. Audible sets your price point for you and takes 80% of your royalties. And because Audible does that, I have to then use that price tag on all other platforms or risk being fucked by the algorithm gods. Other audio retailers take about 60-70% in royalties, most of them veering toward 70%.

As we say in radical acceptance therapy, it is what it is—fucking end-stage monopoly driven capitalism.

Now, speaking personally, when it comes to digital media, I earn the most royalties from my Payhip store where I keep 90% of my income.

That's the best place for me.

It's also why it's worth looking up an author you like to see if they have their own storefront. It doesn't help our sales rankings or put us on any bestseller lists, but frankly after launch week, who cares. I’ll take being able to feed me and my dog.

I hope that helps!

#indie author shit

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kpop · 23 days

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K-Pop Spotlight: DAY6

Come one, come all to a K-Pop Spotlight that is sure to dazzle and delight ’til the final curtain. This week, all eyes are on DAY6 following the release of their eighth mini-album, Fourever, and brand new title track, "Welcome to the Show." We caught up with the band to discuss their goals as they approach their 10th anniversary and their ever-growing connection to their fans through their music. Check out our full interview below!

Tracks like “Welcome to the Show,” “The Power of Love,” and “Get The Hell Out” seem to have very different themes. Can you tell us a little about how these songs relate to each other and what aspects make this album cohesive?

SUNGJIN: As we pursue the idea of being a 'band that sings every moment,' it seems like our albums, including the recent one, prioritize diversity in songs and situations rather than unity. Consequently, our albums contain various genres and narratives. However, there seems to be a commonality in most songs, depicting situations that everyone has either gone through or might experience.

Young K: First and foremost, I would say this album is a compilation of the best songs we could create. There's definitely a theme of love running through it. "Welcome to the Show," "The Power of Love," and "Get The Hell Out" all talk about the concept of love.

What goes into creating titles for DAY6 songs and albums, especially those that don’t come directly from your lyrics? Do you find it hard to condense the intentions and themes of a song into a title?

Young K: While there have been cases like that, all the songs on this album came from the lyrics. Sometimes, when choosing a title, we select the one that best describes the song—other times, we choose to give it a twist or make it more intriguing.

WONPIL: Naming songs involves a lot of deliberation. We often contemplate which title will catch the eye and capture the song's essence. Usually, we try to take it from a verse in the chorus. This can be a challenging part of the songwriting process.

Is there a creative project you’ve always wanted to work on but haven’t gotten the chance/found the time?

SUNGJIN: I'm very curious, and have a principle of "trying to experience as much as possible." There are so many things I want to try musically and personally, especially among the things I know but haven't tried yet.

DOWOON: I hope we can have a song that we can collaborate on with My Day, like a choir.

What does your work/studio setup look like? Where do you feel the most creatively inspired?

DOWOON: We try to keep the studio as tidy as possible and make it comfortable for practice sessions.

WONPIL: When working on songs, we talk a lot. We get inspiration from little conversations, joking around, sharing stories, and listening to music from various eras regardless of genre while giving opinions. We also try to build emotional connections with the songs. There’s a lot of communication going on. The songwriting process takes place in the studio of our long-time collaborator, composer Hong Jisang, with whom we've been working together since our debut.

How do you want to evolve as a musician/producer?

Young K: I want to be eagerly anticipated and awaited as an artist. Without those who wait for us, we wouldn't release or even step onto the stage. So I’m always thankful for My Day.

WONPIL: My biggest goal is to make good music for My Day and the public, so I think I'll continue to ponder. When working on songs, I pour my sincerity into them. I constantly strive to express this sincerity musically, fully capturing the emotions I want to convey. I hope to create songs that can still be listened to even after 10 or 20 years.

Design your own Tumblr blog: choose an aesthetic, a blog name, and would you be a frequent poster or lurker?

SUNGJIN: I think I’ll use it to catch up on friends' updates. For the blog name, THUMB BLUR sounds good to me. I might end up being a lurker who never posts.

DOWOON: Maybe a blog for plants? I think I'll post it like a diary.

Want more DAY6? Check out their new mini album Fourever and the music video for the title track “Welcome to the Show,” both out now!

#day6 #day6 kpop spotlight #kpop spotlight

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navybrat817 · 4 months

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The Dad Diaries: Welcome Home

Pairing: Dad!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky reflects on the first night with his son home and puts his thoughts to paper.

Word Count: Over 1.2k

Warnings: Fluff, reflecting, first time dad, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning and a dad, okay?).

A/N: Welcome to The Dad Diaries! This AU will focus on Bucky and his relationship with his son (and you!) ❤️ Thanks to the beautiful @whisperlullaby for giving this intro a look and assuring me it wasn't garbage, but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky stared intently at the open blank journal that sat in the middle of his office desk. He had picked up the pen a few minutes ago, but hadn’t written a single word. Why did he feel stuck? Better yet, what was he thinking by doing this? Reading often came easy to him, but writing? That was something else entirely.

It was also something he wanted to do.

He ran a hand over his face with a sigh and wondered if he should call it a night, crawl into bed with you, and try tomorrow. No, he didn’t want to push it off before he even began. Glancing at the monitor, he heard your voice in his head, a memory of something you told him in the early stages of dating:

The best writing comes from the heart. Write what you and your heart love because no one knows that story better than you.

Bucky had plenty of stories to tell. How he became a hero and a good man after years of pain and darkness. Or how he fell in love with you and became your husband.

And his newest adventure of becoming a father.

He wasn’t sure how to be a dad yet, but he knew he loved his son. That was more than enough to start. And with a smile tugging at his lips, he put the pen to paper.

Hey, Nugget,

My name is James Buchanan Barnes. Most people call me Bucky. Your mom calls me her husband and I’m the luckiest man in the world for that, especially since she gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for: you.

Your name is James, too. Your mom doesn't know if we’ll call you Jamie or JJ, but I have a feeling you'll hear a bit of both. And one day, I’ll get to hear you call me Dad. Or Dada or Daddy or Papa.

Whatever makes you happy.

He paused in his writing when he thought he heard something on the monitor. His eyes flickered to the screen again and he breathed a little easier when he saw that his baby was still sleeping soundly in the middle of the crib. It wouldn’t stop him from checking on him later, just to be on the safe side.

I’m so glad you’re home. In fact, tonight is your first night in the nursery. I hope you like it here. To quote Ralph Waldo Emerson: “A house is made with walls and beams: a home is built with love and dreams.”

Yeah, your old man likes to read. Maybe you will, too. I even have an original copy of The Hobbit and would love to give it to you when you're older.

Books lined the far wall of Bucky’s office, many of them worn from the amount of times he read them. He made sure Jamie’s room had a reading nook, too. It was one of the only things he asked for when the two of you designed the nursery.

I hope you get enough sleep tonight. Your mom, too. You both did great at the hospital and deserve all the rest you can get.

Would you believe me if I said I was a nervous wreck when I brought your mom in, but tried not to let it show? People call me strong, but I don’t think I ever witnessed true strength until I saw how steady of a rock she was. She blew me away, which didn't surprise me. She amazes me every day.

Hearing your first cry stopped my heart and brought tears of joy to my eyes. After nine months of waiting and talking to your mom’s stomach, you were finally here. And seeing her hold you made me fall in love all over again.

Sorry if that sounds sappy, but it’s true. She looked right at me with happy tears in her eyes and said, “Bucky, look! Look at what we made! It's our little Nugget!” and my heart swelled. She insisted on calling you that and it rubbed off on me. Believe me when I say that you are the luckiest baby in the world to have the mother that you do.

He stopped writing again to glance at his wedding band, smiling all over again. He thought your love filled his heart before, but it overflowed now. It warmed him like nothing else ever could.

You’re probably wondering why I’m writing this since a lot of time will pass by the time you read this. Sometimes I may write to remember things I’m afraid I’ll forget. Other days I’ll write to reflect and get the words out when my mind is too loud. But my hope is that this will be a gift to you.

A bond for the two of us.

As you grow, I’ll fill the pages with the memories of you and our family. I’ll tell you about my past and how it shaped me into the man I am today. How your mom and I met and how I somehow convinced her to fall in love with me. And I’ll be sure to tell you about the day she told me we were going to have you and how that news changed my life for the better.

He swallowed the lump in his throat before he continued.

I also plan to fill this with your milestones. Like your first smile. Is it selfish if I hope to see it first? If not me, your mom. She’d love that. Your first step. Being selfish again, but I hope it’s me you walk toward so I can pick you up and tell you how proud I am. And your first word. I hope it’s Mama.

Though I won’t object if you say Dada.

Bucky chuckled as he imagined the look of betrayal on your beautiful face if your son said “Dada” first instead of “Mama”.

I’m sure some days I’ll have more to say than others. If I’m lucky, I can pass on life lessons and words of wisdom. Some days though I may not say the right thing and I know I’ll stumble along the way as I figure out how to be the best dad to you. I say “best” and not “perfect” because perfection doesn’t exist. Except for you and your mom.

The beauty of it is that I don’t have to go it alone. I’ll have your mom by my side to help guide and protect you and to watch you flourish. And my hope is that you know as you look through the pages how much we love you.

Even on days I may not get it right, I’m your dad, you’re my son, and you’ll always have a home with me and a place in my heart.

I’ll write more when I can, Nugget. Until then, I love you.

Always,

Dad

Bucky set the pen down as he exhaled. It wasn't perfect, but it didn't have to be. It was a start. As long as he put his heart into his words, it would shine from the pages.

And he couldn't wait for all the adventures he’d have with his little Nugget.

I hope you lovelies are excited to take this journey with Bucky. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

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veethefreeelf · 4 months

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Love is a strong word - Y.JH

This is part 2 to ‘Hate is a strong word’ I’M SORRY it took a while but real life got in the way also my eye is being extra annoying! I hope you guys love this as much as I do (づ๑•ᴗ•๑)づ♡

Summary:

It’s been a year since you moved away to a new branch. If you’re being honest, things haven’t been great. Being away from all you know and all you wanted has made you realize a lot of things and made you wish you had done things differently. Maybe moving back would be better for you.

Wordcount: 15k

Warnings: lots of conflict and resolutions, super emotional, angsty as fuck, protected v. penetration, fingering, lots of praising and fluff, nothing major, smut is pretty tame and loving, biting because yes

Requested: yes, by popular demand

P.S - Italic is for thoughts mainly from the characters’ perspective and quotes. Bold is for text messages/calls/voice messages between characters

It’s been a year since you moved to this new city and another branch at your company. It isn’t exactly going like you thought it would. You thought you would make friends easily. You thought your career would have progressed. You thought you wouldn’t think that much about Jeonghan. You were wrong on all counts.

Your career was still at the same stage it was when you moved. No exciting opportunities had opened. You had met some really nice people and your new team was great but you missed your team, you missed your best friends. You even missed Clara’s perverted comments on a daily basis. You missed the team meetings. You missed Jeonghan. You missed him a lot.

One thing moving to a smaller town and being new will do to you is give you time to think about the past. You had thought a lot about Jeonghan. What your feelings for him were. Why you were trying to keep him away. Why you told yourself you were fine with him being on a date with Hana while fucking you. Being away from all of them gave you a lot of clarity on a lot of things from your past. It also allowed you to feel things without fear and embrace everything you were too scared to do before.

Too bad it was too late.

You don’t know what happened with Jeonghan and Hana but you imagine them being happy together. And it devastated you. You should’ve said something. You shouldn’t have ran. You were a coward and it made you lose one of the best things in your life all because of pride.

No one from your previous team ever found out about you and Jeonghan. And every time you visited them or they visited you, the subject was never brought up. And, if you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t want to know. ‘Ignorance is bliss’ you tell yourself. At least this way you can pretend he doesn’t hate you now and that he is single and waiting for you. Your therapist disagrees and hopes you will face all your fears the next time you see him.

That’s another thing you did when you moved here. You got help. You got a therapist and it has helped you a lot. If anything, at least this year has made you grow as a person and made you realize how you should’ve handled most things in your life in the past. She has also helped you figure out ways for you to deal with your current feelings and given you tools to keep improving yourself to make sure you make the right decisions for yourself in the future.

It was okay living here though. The apartment wasn’t the best. You missed your baby terribly but you managed. You were adjusting fairly well. Initially, you had cried every day. It was very difficult to not see your people and not sleep in your bed. Now you were better. You were dealing with the consequences of your decision in a better way. You tried visiting your friends more and tried getting to know your new team more as well. You couldn’t deny that you did want to go back. To the branch, to your team, to your apartment, to… Everything that you left behind. But you didn’t think that opportunity would happen any time soon.

Work was always uneventful. All teams got along great and it was easy making decisions together. Also being a smaller branch, you didn’t get as many big accounts, so sometimes it was just a bit too slow for you and what you were accustomed to.

Today you had to finish the monthly report to your manager but not much else was going on so you let your team go home early for the day. You were having a hard time focusing on your work. Something that seems to have started when you moved here. You didn’t use to have this issue before. You were in the middle of your thoughts when your phone rang and snapped you out of it. You looked at it and smiled before answering.

“Hoshi, my beloved… Why are you calling me during work hours?”

“Seriously, this is your fault. Why would you leave us? This new manager is driving us insane” Hoshi told you in a whispered tone.

“Come on… He can’t be that bad. I heard really good things about him from when he was a team member here”

“I don’t know what kind of lies they told you but he is insane. His demands are outrageous. Remember how Jeonghan used to annoy us because he just wanted to? Well, this new guy has made Jeonghan annoy us even more and now Jeonghan is actually right! Can’t you understand how wrong this is?” Hoshi asked you.

“Here I thought I was special and Jeonghan only annoyed me. I guess we were all played, huh?” you asked Hoshi playfully.

“This isn’t funny, Y/N. Jeonghan has to be an asshole now because someone has to stop this guy. He is not ready to be a manager. You need to help us, say something to someone about him, please. I am begging you. We are begging you. And you owe us from leaving us with this lunatic” Hoshi answered in a very serious tone.

“Look, I can try and find out more about him and talk to my manager to see if anything can be done. But you know I don’t have that kind of power. You need to go to HR. Talk to Cass, she is usually the best person to reach for these things and she happens to be super close with Sunny. I will do the best I can on my side but I can’t guarantee anything” you told him sincerely.

What you didn’t tell him was that you wished you could switch with their manager and get back to your team. You hadn’t told them yet that you wanted to be back. It’s not a possibility and it would only make everyone sadder. You were done being selfish.

“I know. I know, Y/N. It’s just… Why can’t you come back? This guy is clearly not a good fit for our branch and for our team” Hoshi told you in a sad tone.

“It’s not my choice anymore. There’s no openings at all Hoshi. And I made a commitment to this branch when I moved here. I can’t just up and leave”

“You say that but we both know your worth and how much this company needs you. They would do anything you wanted to keep you. You could request to come back specially with all of us not getting along well with the new team lead. And it’s nothing personal. He just isn’t good at being a manager and he isn’t ready for it at this branch yet” Hoshi continued sincerely.

“I will speak to my manager about him, okay? But that’s all I can do for right now. You should reach out to Cass in HR on your side. The whole team should actually. And any other team that is also being affected by this should speak up as well” you added sternly.

“Okay, Y/N. Thank you. I have to go before he loses his shit. I hope you’re well and please, visit us soon” he said and you both hung up.

In a way Hoshi was right. You could request this change to the company. And it would make sense. Their new manager came from this branch where things are much slower and much easier. He was not ready for the big leagues as a manager at least. It would be easy to convince your manager.

For now, you would do the right thing and put your personal feelings aside. You would talk to your manager just like you promised Hoshi and it would be up to them on how to proceed from here.

There was a knock on your door and one of your team members - Chris - walked in.

“I thought I told you to go home for the day. Nothing to do around here for now” you told him and smiled.

“Well, you know me. I can’t leave with the boss still around. Hardly seems fair. Also I like to work for my money, thank you very much” he added as he started to move to sit on the chair across from you.

“Never met anyone that wouldn’t rush out of the office if told by their bosses before. Also please don’t call me boss. I told you so many times Chris” you said. Chris smiled.

Chris was a lovely guy. He was your right hand at this branch. He introduced you to everyone and made it easier for you to adjust to the change. He is also one of your best team members. Very hard working and constantly looking to improve and progress his career as well. He reminds you of a younger you.

The only problem with Chris is that he seems very interested in you. He has reached out to you about his feelings several times and wants you to give him a chance. This is one of the reasons you mostly haven’t gotten to know your team in the same way you tried with your previous team.

He was gorgeous. Tall. Muscular. Beautiful Australian accent. You were simply not interested. You had someone else in your mind and in your heart and even though you weren’t strong enough and brave enough to do anything about it, you knew you could never start something new with someone else without resolving the past.

Chris knew it too. Well not the whole ‘having feelings for someone else’ part but that you weren’t interested. And he had been very understanding. He hadn’t pushed at all. Simply told you if anything changed, he would always be open to explore your relationship further. It was sweet. He was one of the few things that kept you sane over here and you didn’t want to lose him.

“Are you going to be done soon? I was thinking maybe we can leave together?” Chris asked you.

“Sorry, no. I’ve been procrastinating for the last 20 minutes and now I’m late in delivering this. You go ahead and leave. I’m also going to try and catch the actual boss before leaving” you told him and he got up to leave.

“Alright, Y/N. See you tomorrow, have a great night” he told you before leaving.

Thankfully, your manager was still here as well and you were able to talk to him about the new team lead that Hoshi told you about. Seungkwan was his name. He was a very passionate team lead over here and yes, demanding but no one had ever had any complaints since he had been promoted. You explained to your boss the pace of the two branches are very different and so are the team members and the demands. You recommended someone check on the teams of the other branch and with Seungkwan himself to understand how everyone is adjusting and if any changes are necessary and your boss agreed.

You’ve done your part. You have warned the right people and now it’s up to them to assess and make decisions.

You got home and called Hoshi to tell him and he was relieved. He also reached out to Cass and everyone else on his team did the same. Apparently, tomorrow the advertising team and some IT members are also going to Cass about Seungkwan. Wow. He really hasn’t made any friends. Poor guy. This branch was very happy with him when he was here. Maybe he just isn’t ready for the amount of work and stress the other branch entails.

During that phone call with Hoshi, he asked you to come visit the following weekend and you agreed. You needed to see all of them. You told him to please arrange for all the team members to be available to hang out and drink and eat and gossip and he was more than happy to start sending voice messages screaming in the group chat you all have together. It made you smile so hard that they were still the same crazy bunch and they still cared so much about you even after you left.

Since you have a big drive to do whenever you visit, you made a request to your boss to book next Thursday and Friday off so you could really enjoy a proper weekend with them and with your apartment. He approved and you were all set for next week. You were so excited too. You couldn’t hide it.

“I wonder if Y/N will ever get this excited to see us in the future” Hyunjin, another one of your team members spoke and it broke you out of your daydream and silly smile.

“Definitely not. We’re the rebound” Felix - your sweetest team member - chimed in.

“Hey! That’s unfair. I’ve never treated any of you like a rebound. How dare you?” you asked Felix and pouted.

Everyone laughed and your team meeting proceeded again without any incidents. Like you said, your team was great and if you hadn’t had the perfect team members before, maybe you could appreciate them more but you truly missed your people. You were so ready to come and see them.

The week went by fast and at last Wednesday arrived and you couldn't wait for the day to end for you to go home and get ready to leave. Before your day was done, your boss called you into his office to discuss something that apparently couldn’t wait until you got back.

“I know you have to leave and I’m sorry to call you in right now but it’s precisely because you are going to visit them over there that I wanted to get this out of the way before you left” he told you once you sat down in front of him.

“I’m not getting fired, am I? That would lead to a depressing weekend” you said jokingly and you both laughed.

“Not at all. This company will do the best they can to keep you around in any branch and you know that as well. You’re far too valuable. This is about the team lead situation you brought to light to me last week, actually” he told you and you sat there silently waiting for him to continue.

“After we talked about it, I brought it up to the head of HR and they actually talked to everyone at that branch including Seungkwan and his manager to understand what could be happening. It was determined that Seungkwan is not ready for a managerial position at that branch just yet. However, he still wanted to stay on as a team member for the marketing team and learn from the new team lead that joins their team instead of coming back to this branch” he added and you nodded.

“Now, as much as the possibility of losing you pains me personally, it’s up to me to let you know that the company is actually giving you the choice. Since you were the one that started bringing this to everyone’s attention and you were extremely successful in leading the team in the other branch before, they wanted to give you the opportunity to return to the branch as team lead if you wanted to”

“Return?” you asked confused.

Your manager laughed.

“Yes. You have one of two options. Return there as team lead and continue on where you left off with the team and to your success or stay here with us” he said and you looked down.

“Look, I know this branch isn’t working exactly as you thought it would for you. I’m not blind to that. Not only that but the opportunities that you were told you were getting here haven’t happened and won’t anytime soon. So even though I don’t want to lose you, I really want you to think it over”

“Does anyone else know about this? Team members, branches?” you asked him.

“No. The managers know but no one else. They will only be told after a decision is made. If you choose to stay with us, they will hire an outsider for the team lead position at the other branch. If you choose to return to your branch, we will most likely promote Chris as the team lead here” he answered you.

“Chris would be great as a team lead for this team. They all trust him and he has seen me do a lot of the team lead tasks so he’ll learn quickly” you told your manager.

“Does this mean you’re choosing to return to them then?” he asked you and you paused.

“No… I don’t know yet. Can I think this over the weekend? I’m assuming you also told me this today to have me think it over while I’m there” you said and laughed lightly.

“Of course and yes, that’s exactly why I told you. Monday we can discuss this more but go have fun and rest” he told you. You said your goodbyes for the weekend and went home to pack and get ready.

It’s funny. You spent most of this year wanting this opportunity to open up. And now that it’s here, you’re hesitating.

Going back there would mean facing a lot of things you left behind. Things you weren’t sure you were completely ready for just yet. Sure, you had been working on yourself and on making better decisions for yourself and on being more honest with everyone around you but you were still scared.

Returning also meant finding out what happened with Jeonghan this last year and you didn’t know if you were ready for that. If he was still dating Hana and you had to start seeing them together every day, you might lose your mind completely. Not knowing anything made you feel that maybe, just maybe, he was waiting for you just like you were waiting for him. You didn’t want that delusion to be shattered by reality.

On the other hand, you missed everyone terribly. You missed the pacing of your job, your people, your apartment, your favorite restaurants. Would you really pass this opportunity up just because you were scared of getting your heart broken?

You haven’t decided yet. Maybe your manager is right. Seeing everyone and going back there can really help you make a final decision and the right decision for yourself personally and professionally.

The next day you were well rested and ready for the drive. All you could think about was seeing your apartment and lying in your bed.

As soon as you got to your apartment, you felt like a new person. You loved the feeling of coming home. Your actual home. You went out to get groceries and came back home to cook a nice meal and hang out at your place. You missed this so much, being by yourself in your home and binging a show on the couch. This was all you had planned for today.

Tomorrow you were meeting them at your usual place where you used to have most of your team building dinners. You missed that place too even if the last time you were there you were faced with Jeonghan and Hana on a date. You were not going to let them ruin a great restaurant for you. Tomorrow you would enjoy hanging out with everyone and hopefully get a better understanding of what the right decision is for you. For now, you’ll just enjoy your cozy home you missed so much.

The next day and a half went by fast and it was now Friday night and you were getting ready to go to dinner. You couldn’t wait to see them and get a little crazy. It’s been such a long while since you were all together like this.

You took a Uber and got to the restaurant a bit early but you were just too excited. As you were getting ready to go in, you heard Hoshi calling your name from across the street.

“Y/N! You’re early! Aren’t you a bit too excited to hang out with your favorite people in the entire world?? Simp” Hoshi yelled from across the street as Seokmin was still getting out of the Uber behind him.

“I missed this restaurant and I’m hungry. Don’t flatter yourself!” you yelled back and the three of you laughed.

Hoshi and Seokmin crossed the street and you finally hugged. You missed them so much.

“We should go in. Everyone else is already here and Shua was already texting me and being clingy. He really missed you” Seokmin said and started moving towards the entrance of the restaurant.

“Shua? You invited him? I thought it was just us” you said and your heart started beating rapidly inside your chest.

“Oh it wasn’t me, Y/N. Hoshi here invited the whole advertising team and they all accepted” Seokmin said as he smiled mischievously at Hoshi.

“Thanks, Seokmin…” Hoshi said and turned to you.

“You invited them? Why? Hoshi I wanted to hang out just us like the old days… I thought I was pretty clear…” you said and Seokmin patted Hoshi on the back and got in the restaurant leaving you both alone.

“Look, they overheard me and I felt bad not inviting them. Shua and Wonwoo talk about you all the time. They miss you too, Y/N”

“Why not invite just them then? Why everyone?” you asked. You were trying to look behind Hoshi into the restaurant but you couldn’t see the table you were all sitting at.

“Is this about Jeonghan? I thought you two were cool…” Hoshi asked as he scratched the back of his head.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I was just surprised. Thank you for getting everyone together, Hoshi”

He smiled and you both started to go into the restaurant and to the back towards your table. There were a lot of you so they placed your table at the back of the restaurant for more privacy. Also they knew your team well and how loud you could get with drinks in you so it was the overall best option for everyone.

“Stop everything! She has arrived!” Hoshi yelled as you two got to the table and almost everyone jumped.

“I will have a heart attack working with you people” someone you didn’t know spoke up and you stared at Hoshi.

“That’s our new team lead. He invited himself” Hoshi whispered to you.

“So you’re the one terrorizing these teams? Gotta say… Very impressive. Here I thought I was special but you can get everyone just as mad” you said and everyone laughed.

Jeonghan had been staring at you since the moment you walked up to the table. You could feel his eyes on you. You were trying to act normal in front of your team but you wanted to talk to him. Maybe tonight is not the best night to talk things over but you needed to at least understand if there even was a possibility of talking things over. You definitely don’t think you can come back if things are not resolved between the two of you.

Dinner with everyone was easy. Everyone was telling stories and telling you the updates for everything and you even got to know Seungkwan a bit more. He seemed like a wonderful guy. He was loud and he and Hoshi were always on each other’s nerves but if you were to come back, you could see this working well. He would make a wonderful addition as a team member.

Shua, Seungcheol and Wonwoo tried pretending to be upset with you for a bit but that all fell to pieces when you all got into your usual shenanigans. Another thing you realize now that you’re here is that you definitely neglected these three boys when you left. You completely lost touch with them and it wasn’t fair to them. You’re lucky they’re being merciful.

Silvia has gotten really close with Seokmin you can tell. It’s cute. She has always been the quiet one whenever your teams are together and it’s good to see she feels a bit more comfortable around everyone with Seokmin by her side.

Jeonghan didn’t say much throughout the dinner. He laughed sometimes and smiled but didn’t chime in much. You didn’t know what changed (if anything) in his life since you left. Maybe he was doing this on purpose. You wish you were brave enough to ask him directly in front of everyone.

As usual, Clara breaks you out of your thoughts by saying the most outrageous shit out of nowhere.

“So, Y/N… Be honest… Have you fucked that Chris guy on your team yet?”

There is a moment where everyone is silent and then a few seconds later of staring at each other everyone bursts out laughing.

“I missed your ridiculousness, Clara. Thank you, I really needed a good laugh” you said as you continued laughing.

“Oh come on! Seriously! What’s wrong with you? This guy was so fucking hot, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I went there. Almost requested a transfer instantly” Clara added and you kept laughing.

“How hot?” Sunny asked and everyone stared at her still laughing.

“Wow, I leave for a year and Sunny turns into Clara… Seungkwan, you gotta get a handle on the children” you said and Seungkwan laughed.

“Tall, muscular, Australian hunk. Sunny, literally one of the hottest men I’ve seen with my own two eyes and he was all over Y/N. I was so jealous… Why do you always get the hottest guys to be into you and you don’t even take advantage of it? Unfair” Clara answered Sunny and Sunny gasped.

“Do you have pictures?” Sunny asked.

“Of course, I have pictures of all my coworkers on my phone. Because that’s not creepy at all” you added and got up to use the restroom.

“I follow him on Instagram, let me show you” Clara said and you shook your head and continued going to the bathroom.

When you came back, Clara and Sunny were still looking at Chris’s Instagram page and drooling. They started telling you what an idiot you were for not even trying to date him and you just shrugged.

“But seriously, no boyfriends we should know about?” Shua asked and you were surprised by his question.

Everyone turned to you.

“No. Not really interested in dating at the moment. Still have a few things to resolve in that arena in my life before I even consider starting to date again” you answered honestly and you hoped Jeonghan picked up on what you were trying to say.

Shua caught that as well, smiled at you and looked at Jeonghan who was now staring at his empty plate.

Clara and Sunny booed at you and everyone moved on from that topic and continued to chat about changes or new things they purchased or hobbies they started after you left. You were trying hard to pay attention to them but you needed to talk to Jeonghan. He just didn’t seem interested in talking to you.

As you were trying to convince yourself to just go for it, Jeonghan got up and told everyone he had to leave and your heart sank. There goes your chance.

“Late date?” Clara asked as she raised her eyebrows at him and everyone laughed and started telling her off. You pretended to laugh but you didn’t find any of this funny.

“No” was all he said before saying his goodbyes and leaving. He didn’t even look at you before leaving. He was always so unfair. As far as he knows, you may never be back here again. He may never see you again. Yet, he doesn’t seem to care. He doesn’t even care enough to tell you goodbye. Maybe coming back here would be a huge mistake if this is how you’re going to feel every day.

Seokmin snapped you back from your thoughts by squeezing your hand and smiling at you. He didn’t know about you and Jeonghan but he seemed to understand your sadness at that moment while everyone else didn’t notice anything.

You thought about maybe ending the night early but that wouldn’t be fair to anyone else there so you pushed through. You also deserved to have fun with your friends. You have plenty of time to be sad when you get home.

The rest of the night went by fast. The group moved from the restaurant to a karaoke bar and everyone was having a blast. You might have had too much to drink but you needed to stop thinking about Jeonghan and focus on your friends so alcohol it is. You were going to regret this tomorrow.

And regret it you did. You woke up with a huge hangover. Your head was pounding. Why did you drink this much? Oh yeah… Jeonghan. At least everyone seemed to have enjoyed the night. You should’ve drank more water though. You got up, took an ibuprofen, showered and decided to rest more until your headache went away.

It sounded like a good plan and was going great until someone decided to ruin your entire mood by ringing your doorbell. You tried ignoring it and turned around on your bed to go back to sleep but the doorbell kept ringing.

You got up and went to the door. Whoever it was, they better be ready for a fight. You were tired, angry, sad and out of patience for any nonsense today.

You didn’t even check the peephole. You get to the door and you swing it open, ready to fight and when you finally see who’s on the other side, you stop.

“Not a good morning, Y/N?” Jeonghan asks, laughing lightly.

You sigh and gesture at him to come in.

“What gave it away? The disheveled hair? The swinging the door open?” you asked as you sat on the couch.

“The general rage, yes. Had a good time last night after I left, huh?” he asked and he joined you on the couch.

“I forgot how insane they are when they drink. I missed everyone so much that I let myself get carried away. Mistake”

You both laughed. And then there was silence. You couldn’t take this anymore. It was now or never.

“Why did you ignore me last night? You barely said anything or even looked at me. You didn’t even say goodbye. That could’ve been the last time you saw me and you didn’t even say anything. Why?” you asked him.

“I’ll never be able to say goodbye to you, Y/N. I couldn’t do it a year ago and I can’t do it now” he answered without hesitation.

You nodded.

“Why did you come here today? You didn’t seem to be interested in talking to me yesterday” you asked again.

“It wasn’t easy seeing you. After all this time. I went there because I needed to see you but I didn’t know if I should be there. If you wanted me there. I didn’t want to ruin your night but I couldn’t not go. I was being selfish”

“So you decided to leave early yesterday and come here today and ruin a whole new day for me?” you asked in a playful tone but he didn’t laugh with you.

“I wanted to see you, Jeonghan. I know I wasn’t being obvious about it yesterday but everyone was there. I didn’t want to ruin the night for them. It was the first time we were all together in a long time. I couldn’t be selfish. But I wanted to be” you added to your previous statement.

He nodded.

“Then can we talk? Right now? It’s why I came here. There’s a lot of things we need to talk about. I should’ve done this earlier. Way before last year even. I’m a coward when it comes to you” Jeonghan said.

“Yes, please” you answered and you both smiled.

“I’ve never been the smoothest guy around. The guy that can easily talk to a girl he likes. I’ve always gotten weird and acted stupid. I don’t know why. And now I would like to think I’m better but back then when we met 6 years ago, I was still that stupid kid that didn’t know how to act when he liked a girl. That’s kind of why this started. Back then, when I first saw you, I wanted to get to know you more. You were so beautiful, I still remember what you were wearing the first day we met. But you didn’t seem to notice me. At all. The only time you acknowledged me was in an interdepartmental meeting when I made a snappy comment and you started getting snarky with me. I thought this was my shot. This is how you were going to notice me” he started and you scoffed.

“So you decided to be an asshole from then on? Why not just come to me and talk to me?” you asked.

“Like I said, I was a dumb kid. I wanted your attention but I wasn’t brave enough or confident enough to simply walk up to you and start a conversation so I decided having you mad at me was better than having you not know I even existed. Things went downhill fast from there. You were hating me more and more and I was… Liking you more and more. But after a year of this dynamic, I didn’t know how to stop it and just talk to you. Seungcheol always gave me so much shit for it. He kept saying I was going to regret not having talked to you and gotten to know you the proper way. That it was going to bite me in the ass and he was right” he sighed as he continued.

So that’s what Seungcheol meant when he asked you if you didn’t know why Jeonghan treated you this way. He knew all along of Jeonghan’s feelings for you and he probably thought you knew as well, somehow.

“Y/N, I’ve had feelings for you from day one. That’s why it hurt so much hearing you say you hated me even if I brought it on myself. When you gave me a chance to have you in my arms, even if it was just that night at the party, I didn’t hesitate. I couldn’t. I had wanted you for so long. Desperate for your attention. Part of me wishes I stopped myself from having you that night. I should’ve told you the truth right there but I couldn’t risk you leaving. I was selfish that night too”

You looked down and he sighed.

You didn’t know what to say. Even though this made sense, it also didn’t. You still had so many questions. You needed to know everything. No more fear. No more being a coward.

You looked back at Jeonghan.

“Why did you sleep with Hana then? If you had feelings for me from the start?” you asked and he laughed.

“Another stupid mistake I made because of my feelings for you” he said and you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Do you remember the only year we had the Christmas party at the office? The one where the office almost got destroyed?” he asked and you nodded.

“Before that party I promised myself I was going to talk to you. Really talk. Maybe drunkenly confess my feelings for you and hope for the best. But you spent the first few hours of that party with Jackson. Smiling and laughing and having fun and I was fucking miserable watching you two. I started drinking a bit too much and when Hana came to me I thought ‘fuck it’. If you could live your life and probably end up dating Jackson, I could fuck whoever I wanted too. I didn’t really think about the consequences of sleeping with her until it was done. She told the whole office and the look of disgust you gave me when you found out was enough for me to realize that if I hadn’t ruined all my chances with you before, I definitely had then”

“You’re an idiot” you told him.

“I know” he agreed.

“Even if you regretted it afterwards, you seemed to have a good time. She said a lot of things about that night. Hard to believe you cared about me that much but fucked her that good. Or maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic that doesn’t understand fucking without feelings” you said and you looked down.

You know you wanted the truth but you had forgotten how much the truth could hurt.

“You fucked me and you hated me though” he said and you scoffed.

“You really are an idiot…” you said and sighed.

He looked at you with a puzzled look in his eyes.

“Don’t look so confused. I’ll explain my side soon. Continue” you told him.

“About what she said, it was all lies. I may have been drunk but I remember that night clearly. It was terrible. I didn’t even put in an effort. I didn’t care. I was picturing you the whole time, I’m actually surprised I didn’t say your name. Probably because nothing felt good. I just wanted to get it over with. When we were done, I left immediately without even saying a word to her. I was disgusted with myself. I went to sleep that night hoping you would never find out about it. You know I’m like you, I know you’ve heard it around the office too. I don’t just fuck people, I don’t do the fuck buddy thing. I’ve always been looking for the real deal. I will always regret that night” he said and you started to understand him a bit more, but there were still a couple of things on your mind when it came to Hana.

“Why let her hang around you all the time at the office? If you were mad about her telling everyone and if you really weren’t interested, why let her follow you around and grab you whenever she wants?” you asked.

He smiled at you.

“The first time she did it in front of you, it seemed like you were jealous. I didn’t know if it was wishful thinking on my part, but the look in your eye when she started touching me gave me hope. Again, I’m an idiot, I know” he answered and now it actually made you laugh lightly.

“Can’t argue with that” you said and he laughed with you.

“Last question about her and I think you know what’s coming” you said and he sighed and nodded.

“If all of this is true, what happened when I met you both at the restaurant? She said you were on a date. Why?”

“This one is actually an easy one to answer. We were never on a date. Woozi in IT invited me out for dinner and drinks to join their team dinner since I wasn’t doing so well and I agreed. When the time of the dinner came, everyone else canceled except her so I was stuck with her. Not sure if it was her plan all along but I know Woozi wouldn’t do that to me so I guess it worked in her favor somehow. I decided to stay because I was hungry and tired and wanted a drink and then we ran into you. When she said it was a date, I really wanted to say something different but the look in your eyes… I knew I needed to explain myself outside of that situation. You weren’t going to let me do it there specially since you were late for your team dinner”

He does know you well. You would’ve left either way that night. What you still don’t understand is why he didn’t tell you all of this before you left.

“Why didn’t you tell me all of this? Why did you let me leave thinking you were fucking me while dating her?” you finally asked.

“Before that restaurant situation, you had been distancing yourself from me. I didn’t know why but I was too scared to find out. I thought maybe you were done. With us. With me. I didn’t think you would want to hear anything from me anymore. And when you also didn’t reach out or asked for an explanation about Hana, I thought that meant you didn’t care. I thought you didn’t care if I was dating her or not because we were just fucking. I thought if I reached out and told you the truth, you were going to tell me it was just sex. That it was never more than that between us. I didn’t want to hear that”

“So you let me leave? No goodbye. No explanation. Just a text. How do you think I felt when you did that?” you asked with tears in your eyes now.

“I know how much I fucked up. After sending that text and staring at my phone, I realized I would rather let you know the whole truth even if it meant you rejecting me than this. I drove to your place but when I got there, you were gone” he added and he also had tears in his eyes now.

“Why didn’t you ever call me? Or even texted me? Why not tell me all of this even if I was away?” you asked him as you cried softly.

“I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me. You had this new life now in a different city with new people. I thought you were over whatever happened with us”

“I spent this whole year thinking about you” you said and he nodded sadly.

There was a silence in the room with you now.

He had told you the whole truth. Since the very first day. No more hiding.

It was your turn now but you didn’t even know where to start so you told him just that.

“Thank you for telling me this now. I also have some explaining to do but I don’t even know where to start…”

“From the beginning. From when we met, please. I need to know” Jeonghan told you and you agreed.

“I thought you were the most beautiful human I’d ever seen. When we first met. I’m also not the best at talking to people I like. I usually don’t, at all. I stay away and just enjoy the person from afar. It seems easier than being rejected. Adding that to how obsessed I was with the company and being hired there, I guess it would have seemed like I didn’t notice you at all. But I did. Which is why I was so pissed every time you were an asshole to me. Not only was the career I dreamed of taking a hit but the guy I had a crush on apparently wanted to destroy my career” you said and laughed.

He laughed with you.

You were both idiots.

“After that, I accepted that you just hated me. I had to move on or I would end up breaking my own heart. So I told myself that I hated you. I would hate you from then on and treat you exactly like you were treating me. I spent years avoiding what I really felt about you. It seemed easier that way. I needed to focus on my career and ignore whatever was going on with you. It was the smartest decision for me” you told him and continued.

“I didn’t realize all of this until I left though. Being away and getting a therapist helped me realize all of my feelings for you. Made me understand what I did wrong and what I wish I could change. Distancing myself from you after our last night here was a huge mistake. But at the time I was confused. I still thought I didn’t like you at all so how could I let you in here. I didn’t want to see the truth. I wasn’t ready for it. It’s easier now, even if it hurts, knowing exactly what my feelings for you are” you added.

“Is that why you didn’t say anything after the restaurant incident?” he asked you.

“Yeah. I had already been distant from you trying to sort out my feelings and when I saw you with her I made my decision. Maybe it was best if we stopped whatever it was we were doing. Then when we didn’t speak after that and my manager gave me the option to leave, again, it seemed easier than trying to deal with everything. I used my career as an excuse but I just wasn’t ready to face this. I am now” you answered.

You were trying to explain everything to him but sometimes it’s hard to put all of this in words. It’s been 6 years of confusion and misunderstandings. Where do you go from here?

“I don’t want to ask this but what about Jackson? What happened at the Christmas party?” he asked and it surprised you.

“Honestly I don’t even remember that party at all. I don’t remember spending that much time with Jackson. I never liked him and I always knew he was just trying to fuck me. I was nice to him at first but I guess over time I lost patience and that’s why now it may be more obvious of how not interested I am” you told him and he nodded.

“And Chris?” he asked in a more hushed voice.

You laughed.

“Chris is a great guy. And he has told me he’s interested in me. I told him no. I still had things from my past to sort out and wasn’t interested. He understood. We’re friends. Sure, he still hopes one day I’ll give him a chance but I already told him many times not to wait for that” you said and he smiled.

You smiled too.

You weren’t sure if there was anything else he wanted to know but it seems most of your past issues have been explained on both sides. Past has been resolved in a way. But what about the future? Is there a future? You’re trying to figure out how to ask this question when he interrupts your thoughts.

“What about now? What happens now? You’re still living far away, it would be tricky but I want to see you again. And a lot more. Maybe we can go back to how things were between us…” Jeonghan said and the last part he said with more nervousness in his tone.

Thing is… He still didn’t say what his feelings were. He said he liked you but that could mean anything. Now he wants to go back to how things were? No… That’s not what you want at all. You thought you had been clear.

“No, I don’t want to go back to how things were. I know that for sure” you told him and his smile fell from his face.

“Oh… Hmm… Okay… I thought that was what we both wanted. I guess I got that wrong” he said as he started to get up from the couch and move towards the door.

“Wait, where are you going? You didn’t let me finish” you said as you followed behind him.

“No, I get it. I thought things could go back to that but they can’t. We’ve been hurting each other for so long. I wouldn’t want to be with me either. Sorry. I should go. I’m meeting Seungcheol for lunch but thanks for listening to me” he said as he left your apartment.

You were left alone, in the middle of your living room, confused and staring at your door.

‘What the hell just happened?’ you asked yourself. You thought the conversation was going well. You were both reaching an agreement so why would he leave. He didn’t even let you explain what you meant when you said you didn’t want things to go back to the way things were. Was that all he wanted from this? To explain everything and then go back to just fucking each other? Why was he always so confusing? Things between two people aren’t supposed to be this difficult. You can’t even hold a conversation without misunderstandings. How was this ever going to work?

You were left confused and wondering what any of it meant for the both of you.

The rest of the weekend went by fast. You met up with some of the guys for lunch and just to hang out and Sunday came fast. Before you knew it, it was time to leave again. You couldn’t leave without trying to understand what went wrong and what you said that made Jeonghan leave so abruptly. You decided to call him. He didn’t answer so you texted him.

“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you and do this on short notice but I would really like to see you before I have to leave today. I feel like our conversation ended and you left on another misunderstanding. Can you please, make some time for me today? I have to leave by 6PM, the latest. I’m free the rest of the day. Let me know, okay?”

Nothing.

He didn’t answer the text. He never called you back.

It was 6:30PM and you were still in your apartment staring at your phone, waiting for him.

Crying, you pick up your bags and get ready to leave.

This would never work. He is unable to resolve things by talking. He always runs away from you. You would end up getting your heart broken in the future.

Not that your heart isn’t broken right now. You opened up to him and told him the whole truth and somehow he chose to listen to the wrong thing and leave. This time you were proud of yourself though. You reached out to him and you tried to resolve everything before having to leave again. It was his choice to not listen. There’s only so much you can do. Relationships are a two way street. You can’t keep fighting for something while the other person simply gives up and walks away. It’s exhausting and you will always end up in tears.

Maybe this was for the best.

That four hour drive was done listening to sad songs and trying to tell yourself you’ll be just fine. You still had no fucking clue of what you wanted to do. Even though you had an amazing time with everyone including the new guy, this situation with Jeonghan might prove to be a little too much for you to handle.

You needed to sleep on this and hope your boss didn’t ask you for your answer first thing in the morning.

The next day you went to work and went back to normal. The usual meetings, usual coachings, usual schedule. It felt normal.

By the end of the day you still didn’t know what to do. You missed everything about the other branch, city and people. But you didn’t know if your heart could take any more hits. Going back there wasn’t going to be easy.

You were split.

It was the end of the day and you were packing up to go home. Your boss hasn’t mentioned it at all. You talked about work during the day and he checked-in with you and the team but he didn’t ask you anything else. You felt relieved. Maybe he would give you more time before making a final decision.

As you reached for the door of your office to leave, there’s a knock.

It was your boss.

Fuck. You knew it was too good to be true.

“Hey again, Y/N. Going home?” he asked you.

“Yup. Not a fan of overtime especially when the work's all done” you told him and you both laughed.

“Look, I don’t want to pressure you but we have their branch breathing down our necks. They need an answer asap. I assume you don’t have one yet since you didn’t talk to me about it but just a heads up, they might contact you directly if you take too long deciding” he let you know and you sighed.

“I want to go back. Nothing against this branch but it’s just a bit too slow paced for me. You’re a great manager and I’ve really enjoyed my time here but it’s been difficult adjusting even to my apartment. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier today. Not gonna lie, before this moment, I had no clue what I wanted but as soon as you asked me I knew what the answer was” you answered him and he laughed.

“I get it. You and that team are the dream team. Hard to move on from that when that’s what you love. I don’t hold it against you. We can let the team here know tomorrow so that you can start helping Chris with stepping into the role, is that okay?”

“Of course but this soon? When do I have to leave by?” you asked a bit surprised on how fast this was moving.

“They want you back there asap. I don’t blame them either. I’ll let them know of your decision and let’s say two weeks? Would that be enough time for Chris to get prepared? What do you think as his current team lead?”

“That’s more than enough time. Like I told you before, Chris was already aware and saw me do a lot of the team lead’s tasks. It should be an easy adjustment for him” you said and he nodded.

“Alright, then! Have a good night and we’ll meet with your team first thing in the morning” your manager told you as he walked out with you.

“One more thing… Can we not tell the team over there? I wanted to surprise them, if that’s okay?” you asked your manager and he laughed again.

“I’m okay with it. Let me ask them over there and I’ll let you know tomorrow, yeah?” he answered you and you nodded.

You got to your apartment, sat down on the couch and started laughing.

You have no idea what came over you but when your manager asked what you wanted to do, you couldn’t help but say you wanted to go back. This whole thing with Jeonghan won’t be easy and you will hurt but at least you’ll be around the people you love most in the world, in your comfy home that you love so much.

You couldn’t wait to leave.

The next two weeks went by so slow. Every day seemed to drag on forever. This was how bad you wanted to go back.

Your team was sad but they understood your decision and they were also super excited about having Chris step up.

You spent those two weeks helping Chris and preparing him for the role and by the end he was full on taking care of the team while you shadowed along. Maybe that’s why the days went by even slower at the end. You were watching Chris do your job and reporting to your manager but you weren’t doing much more.

Your manager was able to convince the other branch about keeping this a secret for now. Seungkwan was informed and he also promised to not say anything since he knew what this meant for you all. He may have only spent that one night around all of you but it was clear to him you belonged there with the team and that he still had a lot to learn before stepping up at that branch.

It was difficult not to say anything in the group chat specially since your team figured out some moves in the team were going to happen but they just didn’t know what and they kept talking about it and speculating. They were suspicious it had to do with Seungkwan since they all filed the same complaint with HR but they weren’t sure since Seungkwan wouldn’t tell them either.

The day before you left you had dinner with Chris and the boys to say goodbye. They were a great team, really. You just didn’t belong here with them. You hoped the best for them and you knew Chris would grow a lot more in the future if he kept working the way he had.

The next day you drove home. Home. Felt good to say and to think about. You couldn’t wait to get there.

You had to be careful once you got there though. You didn’t want to get caught and be told on before Monday. Clara lives very close to you so grocery shopping was going to be a risk but you had to risk it because there was no way you weren’t going to cook and enjoy some nice home cooked meals.

Those days went by fast and so far no one had found out you were back and would be back working at the branch.

When you got to the office, you went straight to your manager’s office and as soon as you walked in, you two shared a huge hug. She had missed you just as much as you had missed her. Having another woman team lead to fight Jeonghan’s manager was much needed since he had been on a whole other level after you left.

Part of you thinks your manager asked the whole office to join the meeting so that she could rub it in his face that you were back permanently to make his life hell if needed.

The time for the meeting was finally here and your heart was beating fast. You’re excited to see your team’s reaction but also you can’t deny that you want to see how Jeonghan reacts.

How can something so simple be so terrifying?

When everyone was gathered in the big conference room, your manager started the meeting by saying there would be a few changes happening in the marketing team. She kept her speech short and gave Seungkwan the floor.

“So as you guys know, I transferred here from a much slower branch. When I was team lead there things were very different. I adjusted well and got along well with everyone. Here, things have been tricky. Even though I get along with my team on a personal level, things have been less than ideal on a professional level. When all of this became clear to all of us, I was approached by my manager and I was informed I was going to be replaced here as team lead. I could either choose to stay here as a member of the marketing team, or go back to my previous branch as team lead” he paused then and everyone started looking around in confusion. Probably because they knew you were the team lead at that branch so what did this all mean?

“Well, I chose to stay here as a team member. I wanted to learn from the new team lead whoever that was. Initially I didn’t know who that was. The final decision hadn’t been made but once I found out who it was, I was incredibly happy to be working and learning from her. I don’t want to prolong this anymore than I already have so let’s all please, welcome the new team lead for our marketing team!” he said and started clapping.

Everyone else joined and started to look around trying to find the person who was replacing Seungkwan.

You got in the room from behind your manager and as soon as Hoshi’s eyes landed on you, he ran to you and picked you up while screeching like an insane bird.

“Put me down, you maniac!” you said and as soon as he did everyone from your team ran up to hug you.

“Better surprise than last time?” you asked and they all nodded.

You were all in your little world and your manager interrupted you.

“Not to ruin this family reunion but do you have a few words for everyone?” she asked.

“I’m not very good at these things as you probably found out last time so I don’t have a lot to say. It was a good experience over there but not enough for me professionally. Also I missed my team and my home. And now I’m back so I’m looking forward to working and/or fighting some of you” you said and everyone laughed.

You found Jeonghan in the back behind everyone. He had a blank expression on his face and as soon as your manager told everyone they could go, he was the first one out the door.

You were disappointed but not surprised. This reaction was very him.

Shua, Wonwoo and Seungcheol ran up to you and welcomed you back. Told you they missed you. Silvia was a bit more chill about it but you could tell she was happy mostly because Seokmin was happy to have you back. You’ll take it either way.

From then on everything went back to normal. Usual team meetings, usual interdepartmental meetings, usual lunch with everyone. After three weeks, it felt like you had never left. Seungkwan was a great addition to your team just like you thought. He may have not been ready for the team lead position but he was an extraordinary team member to your team.

Everything went back to what it was supposed to be. You were so happy to be back even if things with Jeonghan stayed the same. He never answered that text and never called you back and ever since you came back, he never spoke to you. You talked during meetings but about work only. He seemed to have found a good balance of being an asshole and simply accepting your teams’ proposals when they made perfect sense. Everything was going great but somehow, when you were alone in your office and at home, you still felt empty.

Right now you were in your office, looking out the window. The day has been going okay so far, you just didn’t feel good. It seems the more time passes like this between you and Jeonghan, the worse you feel every single day.

As you were almost falling asleep in your chair staring out the window, there was a knock at your door. You asked them to come in and to your surprise, Shua walks through the door.

“May I come in and sit? Do you have a few minutes to chat, Y/N?”

“Hmm… Yeah, go ahead. Surprisingly, it’s been a slow day. What do you need to talk to me about? Is it about the Privé campaign proposal?”

“Actually it’s not work related. It’s personal” he said and you started to get nervous.

You gulped.

“Okay” was all you said.

“Look, I don’t know how your conversation went the last time you were here before you moved back but he’s been miserable since then. From what I can tell so far, you haven’t been doing much better so forgive my intrusion but what the hell happened that day?” Shua asked and you just broke down.

You started sobbing. He locked your office door and came back to you to hug you.

You got up from the chair and you both moved to the couch in your office.

“Sorry” you said as he handed you the tissue box from your desk before sitting back down again next to you.

“I don’t know what happened. We were talking and then he just left out of nowhere. Then Sunday I asked him to meet with me so we could fix whatever misunderstanding this was and he ignored both my call and text. He hasn’t spoken to me since that day. I wanted to know what made him leave but he won’t give me the chance” you told him and you tried to stop crying.

“He told me you confessed to him and then turned him down. It didn’t make sense to me at the time but he’s sure you rejected him” Shua said and you looked back at him confused.

“I didn’t reject him, Shua. I told him no when he asked if things could go back to the way they were before with us because that’s not what I want. I… Have feelings for him. Why would I want to go back to being fuck buddies or whatever the fuck we were before?” you asked and you hoped he would understand what you meant.

“You love him and you wanted a relationship… You weren’t rejecting him, you were rejecting being fuck buddies…” he said as he looked around and scoffed.

“Love is a strong word” you told him and sighed.

“Is it though? Look at you two. You’re both miserable and for what? You should be together, Y/N. How much longer are you going to keep hurting each other?” he asked and you got offended.

“Hurting each other? He’s the one that keeps making shit decisions and not listening to me. Even when I reach out to him, he pushes me away. He’s the one constantly breaking my heart and I’m the one stupid enough to keep letting him” you said as you got up back to your desk.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound that way. I’m just tired of watching you both fight this. I know you’re tired of trying and being the one pushing but maybe you should do it one last time. Tell him what you told me and make sure he understands you can’t be the only one fighting for the two of you. That he can’t run away any time he thinks he heard something he doesn’t like”

“Is it worth it, Shua? To keep fighting? There’s always been misunderstandings between us, something always happens to break us apart. Maybe it’s a sign we just shouldn’t be together. Being with someone shouldn’t be this difficult. I know a good relationship means hard work but this is too much. I can’t keep fighting for someone who just runs away every time. Just avoids the issue and ignores me. No relationship can survive that”

“I’m a firm believer that nothing good comes easy. You have to put in the work. And I know he fucked up more than once and you’ve been the one carrying all of this but are you really going to let him go just because of this? A silly misunderstanding about him not getting you wanted a relationship? Think about it. He’s a literal man, Y/N. He needs things spelled out to him most times, specially when it comes to the person he loves most in the world. You’ve been through so much together that his mind just picks the negative and runs. It’s not your fault but if you think this relationship could be the real deal, try one more time. Tell him everything. Clearly, with no room for misunderstandings”

You nodded and he nodded back.

He got up to leave and as he was unlocking your office door and leaving he turned back.

“Just think about it, please, Y/N” he said and left.

When you got home that night, it was all you could think about.

You wish you could ask someone. You had never told anyone about you and Jeonghan so you didn’t have anyone to talk to about this and share their opinion. You didn’t know if you should either. This is a decision you need to make by yourself.

You spent the night thinking it over and you decided it was time to be brave and grow up. You wouldn’t do this through text or call. Tomorrow morning you were going straight to his office and you’re going to lay your cards on the table. You’re going to tell him what an asshole he is and that this is his last chance. If he wants it, he’ll have to put in the work from now on. No more running. No more ignoring you. Open communication or it’s not even worth starting anything back up between the two of you.

You couldn’t sleep very well. You woke up nervous and angry. You rushed to the office so you could be there early and talk to him before the day started. But of course, nothing ever goes to plan when it comes to Jeonghan, and your manager called you in to talk about the new accounts that were joining the company and what you and your team should expect from them.

By the time you and your manager were done with that small meeting, everyone was already in the office and working hard. Shit. Should you do this now or later? Fuck it, you need this to be over with. You can’t suffer like this anymore.

You went to his office and of course, the first thing you are greeted with is Hana with her paws all over him, twirling his tie in her hand and laughing. He looked bored. He was leaning against his desk. He still let her do it though and you were beyond angry.

You knocked on his open door and cleared your throat.

He looked up and when he saw it was you, he gulped and tried moving away from Hana.

“Can’t you see we’re busy?” Hana asked you with disdain.

You’re being tested. ‘Please, do not choose murder, please. Stay calm’ you told yourself as you walked in his office towards them.

“Hands off and fuck off, Hana. Don’t you have work to do? As far as I know this is a fucking office so act professional and not like a hormonal teenager or I’ll report you to your team lead and to HR” you told her and she gasped.

Jeonghan just kept looking between the two of you and removed his tie from her hand.

“Jeonghan, say something!” she said as she turned to him and crossed her arms.

You looked at Jeonghan with a tilted head and raised your eyebrows.

“Get out, Hana. Go back to work. You shouldn’t have been here in the first place” he told her as he finally moved away from her completely and sat down on his desk chair.

She scoffed, flipped her hair, looked you up and down and finally left.

You closed his office door behind her and turned back to him.

“Am I just going to have to see that forever or do you plan on telling her to stop it anytime soon? I guess old habits die hard, huh?” you asked as you sat down in front of him.

“I’m sorry” was all he told you.

“Getting fucking sick of hearing that. I need to talk to you and you seem to ignore me through text and phone calls and even around here so you left me no choice. Do you have time now or do you want me to leave?” you asked and he stayed silent.

“Just know that if you tell me to leave, it will be the last fucking time I’ll give you the chance to push me away, so choose wisely” you continued and waited for his answer.

He continued to stay silent.

So be it.

You got up and started to leave his office.

“Stop, please. I’m sorry. Stay. Yes. Let’s talk” he said as he grabbed your hand and pulled you back, closer to him.

“I’m going to make this simple. Joshua talked to me yesterday. He told me you said I rejected you. You really need to start listening to what I say, Jeonghan. I didn’t reject you or your feelings. What I told you was that I did not want to go back to being fuck buddies. I wanted more for us. But you didn’t let me say that. You just got up and left with an assumption that I was rejecting you” you said and you could see the cogs starting to turn in his brain. He was realizing he had fucked up yet again.

“And because I was confused and didn’t understand why you left the way you did, I reached out to you. I wanted to talk it over before I left. I wanted to make everything clear between us and you ignored me again. I waited for you in my home and you didn’t even text back. That really fucking hurt” you continued and you started to cry now.

“You know that weekend I had already been given a choice to either stay there or come back here. After what happened with us, after you broke my heart again, I almost stayed there. But I chose to come back because I was always happier here. Whatever was going on with us, I couldn’t let that stop me so I came back. And you didn’t give a shit. You were the first to leave the meeting and you haven’t spoken a word to me in weeks”

You were getting angrier now. He needed to understand this was his absolute last chance and you were going to make sure you got through to him.

“When Shua talked to me yesterday, he said I should try one more time. Telling you everything clearly so that were no more misunderstandings. I didn’t want to. I can’t be the only one fighting and pushing through the misunderstandings. We can’t keep having these misunderstandings. I deserve better than getting hurt all the time because you won’t talk to me. You just run and ignore the issue and break both of our hearts. You need to choose, Jeonghan. Either you start taking responsibility and we start a mature relationship where we talk to each other about everything that is bothering us or maybe, if you don’t think it’s worth it or you’re not strong enough, we just end everything now. Completely. We’ll be nothing more than coworkers”

This was it.

You were done.

He had all the information he needed to make his choice.

No more ambiguity, no more uncertainty. He needed to choose to either fight for your relationship and stop being scared or let you go.

“You don’t have to answer me right now but--”

He stopped you from talking by kissing you.

His hands were holding your face as he kissed you and you kissed him right back.

You missed him so much. He was such an asshole for torturing you both.

He backed you both up against the back wall of his office and he kept kissing you hard.

You stayed like that for a while. Until your phone started to ring in your pocket.

It was Hoshi. He probably couldn’t find you and he needed you.

“I need to go” you whispered against his lips and he kissed you again.

You started laughing.

“Seriously, I have to go. That’s a yes on the relationship then?” you asked, still holding him.

“Fuck yes, absolutely. I will never let you down again, that’s a fucking promise, angel”

“It better be. Let’s take it slow, yeah? I know that’s a bit of a cliché but I want us to start fresh. Going on dates, getting to know each other. Since we’re both hopeless romantics after all” you said and you both smiled.

“Anything you want, angel”

You left his office and met with Hoshi who was freaking out about something Seungkwan had said. These two will drive you insane but nothing matters right now. All you can think about is Jeonghan. You wondered how things were going to progress between you two from now on.

After a few weeks, you and Jeonghan were doing great. He started by leaving you coffee on your desk every morning with a note and he always checked on you during the day. You had lunch together every day (with your teams but still) and he took you out on dates almost every day.

It may have been too much for some people but you wanted to spend as much time with him as possible and he felt the same. You had dinner together almost every day and you spent the weekends together. You had gone to amusement parks, gone on hikes, you had picnics by the river and so many other good things.

You were slowly getting to know each other and your feelings for him were growing more and more every day. You hoped he felt the same way.

You had been honest with each other about everything. You told him you needed him to put a stop to Hana following him around and being all over him. It made you uncomfortable and he agreed that was a door he needed to close permanently for both of you but also for Hana’s sake. So she could move on. He always talked to you every time he felt insecure or scared and you helped him through it. Your dynamic stayed the same. Always challenging each other and being snarky but you both loved it that way.

You had even met each others’ families already. It was funny watching your families react to you and him dating. You both talked so much shit about each other to your families that everyone was confused when you told them. His sister seemed to be the only one that knew this was exactly how you and him were going to end up.

There were a few things you haven’t done so far. You haven’t told anyone in the office, well except Shua and Seungcheol. And, you haven’t slept together yet. It just didn’t happen. You had been so focused on doing things right and getting to know him that that part hadn’t really been on your mind too much. You already knew that side of him and sure, you missed it but you didn’t want to rush anything. He seemed to feel the same way since he hadn’t made any moves towards that at all. You also haven’t told each other those three words. You wanted to. You knew you loved him. It was clear. It had been clear for a while but you were still scared about that. He hasn’t said them either which has surprised you so far but you understand. He’s probably just as scared as you are.

Next Friday was the regularly scheduled end of quarter party at your company. It was at the usual place, at the usual time and you wanted to be able to enjoy it with Jeonghan but the office still doesn’t know so you decided to ask him about it.

You went to his office during the day and brought it up.

“I was thinking… Maybe we can tell people… In the office… I wanted to go with you to the party and I can’t do that if we keep hiding this…”

“I would like that very much. I’ve wanted to do that since day one, angel”

You smiled and kissed him.

He pulled you closer to stand between his legs and you made a bolder move and straddled him on his desk chair while you kept kissing.

He pulled away from you and held your face with his hands. You moved to kiss him again and he laughed and stopped you.

“Hey… Look at me, angel…”

You stared into his eyes deeply.

“I love you, Y/N” he said and he gulped. He was nervous. It was the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your fucking life. You smiled hard.

“I love you too, Jeonghan”

He smiled just as hard as you and he started to kiss you again. Hard. One of his hands had now moved to your ass and he was pushing you on his cock. He was hard. You telling him you loved him back got him hard. That was fucking hot.

Your kiss started to get more and more heated but neither of you could stop. Not now knowing that you loved each other. Finally hearing it from each others lips was the last straw and you got reminded of how much you missed fucking him. You could feel how desperate he was for you too and you both just couldn’t stop what was happening, neither did you want to.

“Y/N, we need your approval on this. Can you--”

Hoshi and your team barged into Jeonghan’s office and you jumped away from Jeonghan so fast. But not fast enough. Jeonghan started laughing and moving his chair towards his desk to cover his very prominent boner.

You were all silent. Hoshi, Seokmin and Seungkwan looked horrified while Clara and Sunny were smirking behind them.

“Hey, what’s going on? Why is everyone just standing here?” Joshua asked as he walked by Jeonghan’s office and saw the crowd.

He looked into the office and immediately realized you two had been caught red-handed.

“Oh… You should really lock your doors, guys” he said as he laughed and Jeonghan laughed with him. You affectionately slapped his shoulder for him to stop.

“I need to go wash my eyes” Hoshi said but didn’t move.

“I knew it! I mean I didn’t know it but very nice, Y/N. We have to talk” Clara added and Sunny laughed and nodded.

You rolled your eyes and smiled.

“This isn’t how I wanted you to find out. We were actually going to tell you about it today” you said.

“Before or after you defiled his office?” Seokmin asked you and everyone laughed.

“Definitely after” Jeonghan answered and you were ready to kick his ass.

“Come on, let’s get back to work. We can talk about it later” you said and started to leave. You gestured at your team to follow you.

“Oh we’re talking now, screw work” Sunny said and everyone agreed.

“This is why I didn’t tell you sooner” you added and they all laughed.

You told them the truth about everything with you and Jeonghan. Except what Clara and Sunny wanted to know. That, you didn’t say shit about. They were not happy about it.

Nothing changed from then on out. Everyone knew but it didn’t change any dynamic. Just some added jokes about you two angry fucking each other after your usual disagreements at interdepartmental meetings.

You also informed HR about your relationship and followed all the right steps. Soon enough, everyone at the office knew. Most people were surprised but nice about it. There were a few that were angry and doing their best to ruin your relationship either by creating rumors or trying to get in between you two. Hana and Jackson. Jackson was being an asshole but he wasn’t pushing anyones boundaries or creating issues. Hana on the other hand, was trying her best to ruin this for you two.

She started rumors about him still fucking her. She constantly tried to touch him and follow him around. It was frustrating but all you could do was report her to HR and move on. It had only been a few days but she was working hard trying to break you two up. It didn’t matter. You trusted Jeonghan and he always stopped her and her rumors whenever he heard them. You two agreed she would eventually stop. This was still fresh to everyone and she needed to get it out of her system.

You and Jeonghan were really good now and nothing she could do would change that.

Friday came fast and you were excited. This quarter was a rollercoaster but you were happy to be back here at this branch with the people you loved, in your home that you loved so much as well.

Jeonghan joined you and Clara in the Uber and you met up with everyone there.

You sat at the same table you had last time, with the same people, but so much has changed.

This time around, you were in love with the one you claimed to hate before. You were here with him and you were going to enjoy this completely.

Everyone was drinking and having fun. Dinner and the awards started and it was just as fun as you remembered. You had gone to a few end of quarter parties at the other branch and you never had this much fun. This was the best. This was where you belonged. With these people. With this team. With him. You were so happy right now, words couldn’t begin to explain it.

The awards had just ended and they were getting ready for the DJ set to start and you decided to get a refill on your drink.

When you came back to the table, Jeonghan wasn’t there. You checked your phone just in case and he had texted you.

“Join me. You know where”

You smiled and got up to go meet Jeonghan in the room you first started this whole thing in.

You walked in and locked the door behind you.

Jeonghan was sitting on the sofa by the window that you sat on last time. He was in the dark again, just like last time.

You walked towards him and sat down on the opposite end of the sofa, looking out the window.

He looked at you and you smiled still staring at the window.

“Getting sentimental, baby?” you asked, still looking out the window.

“Hopeless romantic. Remember, angel?” he asked and you laughed.

You looked at him and you stayed there looking at each other silently for a while until he sat up.

“Come closer, angel. You’re too far away from me”

You moved closer to him. As close as you could. He pushed your hair behind your ear and kissed you. Softly. Like he was scared you were going to break. This felt different. He was trying to show you in actions how he felt about you. You kissed him back and held his free hand in yours.

He started to deepen the kiss and you let him.

You moved to lay down and pulled him with you.

He was on top of you kissing you and you locked your legs around his waist.

You were already wet and he was hard. It had been too long since you had been together like this. You were being desperate for him and you knew he felt the same.

You reached down and started stroking his cock through his clothes and he whined.

“Don’t play with me, angel” he told you as he stopped kissing you.

You continued to stroke him through his clothes and he was panting and moaning into your mouth. You bit your lip. He was so sexy. You were losing your mind.

He pulled your hand away from his cock and pushed your dress up your body.

Jeonghan took your panties off and put them in his jacket pocket. From his other jacked pocket, he took out a condom and threw his jacket on the floor.

He moved down and kissed your thighs and your mound. Close to where you wanted him but not quite there. After a while of this, he started to leave bruises on your thighs. Fuck, you were wetter and wetter.

“I can see you clenching around nothing, angel. Are you that desperate for me?”

“Yes… Hannie, please… No more waiting…” you told him breathlessly.

“Fuck…”

He got up from the sofa and took his pants and underwear off. He moved back to the sofa and started fingering you slowly. He kept kissing your neck and all you did was moan and run your hands through his hair. He started scissoring his fingers inside you. He was impatient and you both knew it had been a while. He wanted to be inside you now and he needed to make sure he wasn’t going to hurt you.

“I love you” you moaned.

He stopped kissing your neck and kissed your lips deeply again. More forceful this time around.

He pulled away.

“I love you too, Y/N”

He put the condom on and started to tease your hole with his cock.

You whined.

“I don’t want to hurt you, angel. It’s been a while. Let me know if it’s too much, yeah?”

“Just get inside me, please… You’re driving me crazy, Hannie”

“Will you be a good angel for me then?”

“Always” you moaned and he pushed the head of his cock inside of you.

He was going slow. Rubbing circles on your clit, kissing you and with every stroke he pushed more of his cock inside you.

You started getting louder as he got deeper inside you.

“Not gonna gag me this time?” you asked and he laughed.

He moved closer to your lips.

“Let them hear it” he whispered and you both laughed together.

You pulled him down for a kiss and he pushed his cock all the way in until he bottomed out. You were moaning together against each other's lips.

After a few seconds, he started his pace.

Short, deep strokes, hitting the right spot. He knew your body so well. He still remembered exactly what to do to drive you crazy.

You were both loud. Moaning and panting. Not giving a shit about anyone outside of that room.

He grabbed one of your hands and interlaced it with his.

He kept fucking you hard and whispering how much he loved you. You whispered and moaned it back to him.

You were both close and you knew it.

He increased the pace of his fingers on your clit and increased the pace of his strokes as well.

You started squeezing his cock and you could feel yourself closer and closer.

Jeonghan squeezed your hand and moved to whisper in your ear.

He told you he loved you but when he said he would never let you go again, it pushed you over the edge and you came. Hard. It felt different this time. More tangible. Stronger.

When you came down from your high, his strokes were slower and he was looking in your eyes.

You pulled him in to lay on top of you and held him impossibly close.

Much like he did to you, you whispered in his ear and told him how much you loved him. That you wanted to be in his arms forever. And he emptied himself into the condom with a moan of your name.

This time around you laid there together. Just holding each other.

There was no rush. No weirdness. Just two people that loved each other and had finally found their way back to each other.

You didn’t know what was going to happen in the future.

You knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Nothing ever is with Jeonghan. But it certainly is worth it.

As you lay there with him you start thinking about the day you left.

About how you thought you were both just passing through each other's lives.

At that time it seemed that way.

He was just a boy creating chaos in your life for a while and you were just a girl that left and used your career as an excuse.

Now you know how wrong you were. How sad and miserable your life would have been without him in it. Without him with you. Just like this. Every day.

You know that from now on, you weren’t just another person passing through each other’s lives. You were everything in each other’s lives. You were both where you belonged.

With each other. Always together, and never to be apart again.

IT’S FINALLY HERE AND IT’S A MONSTER AGAIN Another rollercoaster of emotions 😭 I hope you love this as much as I loved writing it 💕 As usual, please let me know in the comments and such if you enjoyed reading it <3 Thank you for supporting me! Happy holidays! 🎆 CHEERS 🥂

Taglist (if you requested specifically): @woofie-nctzen-fanarts, @lovrchl, @lockburn-castle, @luchiet, @deeznutzaintnutting, @cheesytangerine, @avocifera, @odetoyeonjun, @listxn, @gyubbgist, @cvpidxo, @leicy0756, @sunflowergyeomie, @whore4stucky9104, @bangtanskz, @cecefarm, @staurdvst, @haahydvhkmhhn, @tsukkisdoll, @miniseokminnies, @namjinsworld

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seunmong-in · 26 days

Text

🌅Sunsets in Sydney🌅

Genre: Fluff, childhood best friend to lovers, Idol! Felix x Reader, Humor, slight cursing, she fell first but he fell harder.

Words: 2.1k

Summary: After being on tour for a whole year, Felix is finally back in Sydney for a well-deserved break. While he is ecstatic to be with his family again, there’s one person who he wants to see most. His childhood best friend and crush, Y/N.

A/n: Okay, can I start this off by saying, Holy crap… Thank you to all who like or reblogged my first fanfic with Han!! ( click his name if you wanna read it ! ) I honestly thought it wasn’t that good since I wrote it in a very sleep-deprived state, lol. But y’all proved me wrong🥹❤️‍🩹 That said, I hope you guys also like this story with Felix! Like always, if you have any feedback or want to make a special request just DM me!! Here’s also my latest one with Seungmin as well 🫶🏼

P.S Does anyone else have “that’s not very nice” stuck in their head too?

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⊰∙∘

365 days.

That's how long Felix has been away from the place he calls home. And no, he doesn't mean his actual home back in Sydney. He means being away from his childhood best friend, Y/n.

Felix and Y/n have been best friends since grade school. They have always been there for each other, from performing in talent shows to caring for each other when one falls ill. They are like two peas in a pod; wherever one goes, the other is sure to follow.

On the day Felix had to tell Y/n that he was leaving Sydney to become an idol in Korea, he broke down crying. He was worried that being thousands of miles away from his closest friend would strain their relationship. As he was about to board the plane, he turned around to see Y/n waving goodbye to him with tears streaming down her face, and he couldn't help but cry, too.

Surprisingly, Felix and Y/n's friendship didn't end after that day. Instead, their bond grew even stronger. Y/N would constantly update Felix through text or calls, sharing the details of her day and making sure he didn't miss out on anything important. While Felix enjoyed receiving these updates, what he loved most was the pictures his mom would send him of Y/n with his family on small family trips. Seeing her smile and taking selfies with his sisters always warmed his heart.

He had already surpassed the stage of simply developing feelings for Y/n. Felix adored her. He loved her. Whenever he watched a video of a couple on TikTok or Instagram, he imagined how to recreate the same videos with Y/n by his side. His heart skipped when Y/n surprised him at one of his earlier concerts with Olivia and Hannah, Chan's sister. The memory of her dancing his part of God's Menu while Hannah danced Chan's part on the big screen was something he would never forget. Since that night, Felix had been planning to confess his love to Y/n, and he decided to do it under the sunset in Sydney.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽

Under the hot summer sun, Felix's freckled face is lit up with a big smile as his family rushes to greet him. Olivia is the first to embrace him, screaming, "Oh my God, do you even know how I miss you, Lix?!"

Felix laughed, embracing his youngest sister and repeating, "I miss you more." He noticed that Olivia had grown a bit since the last time he saw her and that her hair was now dyed at the ends. Noticing her brother staring at her hair, Olivia mentioned that Y/N did it a few days ago at one of their usual girls' nights. His mom and dad were the next two to hug him tightly, with his mom shedding a few happy tears.

"I say this every time, but I am so happy to have my baby back home."

Felix wraps his arms around his mom, hugging her as he says, "I am happy to be back home to Mom."

Felix was sitting in the back of a car, his mind preoccupied with thoughts of Y/n. He was waiting for her message, asking if he had reached home safely, but he had yet to receive any message from her. Although this was unusual, he assumed she might be busy.

Suddenly, Olivia abruptly interrupts Felix's train of thought, "So, are you finally going to ask Y/n to be your girlfriend while you're here, or are we still sticking to the whole 'she's just my best friend' excuse?" The unexpected question catches Felix off guard. His face turns red with embarrassment as his mother turns her head around from the passenger seat, waiting for a response.

Avoiding eye contact with his mother and sister, Felix clears his throat, allowing himself to find the right words.

"Um.. what makes you think I even have feelings for her?"

Olivia stares at her older brother, scolding him with his earlier response, "Felix be so fucking for real right now. It's obvious you have feelings for Y/n. You look at her as if she is your whole world, your face lights up with a smile whenever she texts you, and you always seem to find a way to talk about her when we talk on the phone. If that doesn't scream, "I am in love with my best friend," then I don't know what does. Oh, and before you go and argue with me about this, even the boys agree that you are completely strung up on her. So do us all a favor and tell her how you feel, will you?"

Felix sighs as he looks up to see his sister's gaze. He knew he had to come clean now before his plans got ruined.

"Have I mentioned how much I dislike you sometimes, Liv?"

"Yeah, but I'm your favorite sister, so start spilling before I call Hyunjin and have him tell Y/n to you."

During the last five minutes of their car ride, Felix confided in his family about his plan to ask Y/n out when they reached the house. He made them promise not to say anything to Y/n about his plan since he wanted to create a memorable and private moment between them.

As Felix's father pulled into the driveway, Felix noticed Y/n's car parked across the street. His heart raced as he jumped out of the car, ignoring his mother's yelling about not going inside yet.

Felix barges through the main door and stops when he sees the handmade "Welcome Home Lixie" banner that Y/n was struggling to put up. He chuckles softly and leans by the living room doorway, watching as she gets on her tiptoes to hook the string onto the nail.

"You know, I could've helped you put up the banner, sunshine if you would've waited a little longer."

Y/n turns around to find Felix smirking. Blushing, she runs to him and hugs him. He hugs her back, lifting her up and spinning her around.

Trying not to cry on his shoulders, Y/n ever so softly whispers, "You have no idea how much I missed your hugs, Lix."

"Me too, sunshine, it's been way too long."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⊰∙∘

After returning home and having dinner early, Felix went upstairs to his room. There, he discovered a welcome-home basket in the center of his bed. The basket contained his favorite candies, face masks, a small chicken plushie, and gift cards to his preferred places. Felix smiled, realizing that it was a gift from Y/n. She was always the type to spoil others with gifts, even if it was a small occasion. Looking through the gifts in the basket, he heard a soft knock on the door, and Y/n walked in. When Felix looked up at her, they locked eyes for the second time that day. Time seemed to come to a standstill, and after a while, Y/n was the first to break the silence.

"I hope you like it; I saw it on Tiktok late last night and thought I should make you one."

"I love it a lot; thank you, sunshine."

He gives her a soft smile and motions for her to sit with him on the bed. She walks over and sits beside him, watching him unwrap more gifts. Y/n can't help but laugh as Felix brings the chicken plushie up to his face, jokingly asking, "Do you think it looks like me?"

"As much as I want to say yes, I feel like I am going betray BbokAri, so I must lie and say no."

Felix and Y/n laugh as Felix places the plushie back on the shelf behind him. The room lights up in a golden hue, indicating the sun is about to set. Without wasting more time, Felix takes Y/n's hand and leads her out of his room and towards his car.

"Lix, what are you doing? Where are we going?"

"I was hoping we could watch the sunset together again, just like we did as kids. It's been quite some time since the last time we did, and let's face it, we're not getting any younger. Before we know it, we'll be as old as old man Chan."

""I'm going to tell him you said that," she says, laughing as she follows him to his car. They both jump in and drive to the nearby beach.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⊰∙∘

As the car pulled onto the sandy shore, Felix practically flew out of his side to open the door for Y/n. She beamed with delight as she stepped out, feeling the warm sand under her toes. Felix swiftly closed the car door and took her hand, leading her towards the beach. The sky was ablaze with a breathtaking display of pink and orange hues as the sun descended below the horizon.

"I forgot how pretty the sunset could be when you can see the reflection on the water."

"I know, but it's even prettier with you beside me," Felix responds.

Y/n stands before Felix, unsure if he is joking or serious. He chuckles as she becomes flustered.

"You know that's not very nice."

"What isn't sunshine?"

"You saying that to me and not explaining what you mean," Y/n states as she turns away from him.

Felix grabs Y/n by her waist and spins her, holding her close. Y/n's face flushes a deep shade of pink as she catches her breath. They've been close for years, but something feels different about this moment. There's a palpable tension in the air, a feeling of unspoken love that's hard to ignore. Felix looks deep into Y/n's eyes, examining how the sun's warm glow illuminates them. The sound of waves crashing against the shore adds to the moment's magic. Fighting the urge to kiss her immediately, Felix takes a deep breath as he stares into her eyes.

"Do you remember why I decided to return home for a break instead of staying in the dorms with the boys?" Puzzled by his random question, Y/n nods her head, looking back into his dark brown eyes.

"Of course I do. It was because you wanted to be with your family since you were homesick, Lix."

"You're right. But there's something important that I need to tell you, something that should've been said from the very beginning. Y/n, I like you. I'm in love with you. I love you so much that it hurts not to have you by my side most days or even to call you mine. The night before I left Sydney, I intended to confess my feelings to you, but I knew it was bad timing since I was leaving, and I didn't want to end our friendship. So, I kept it to myself for years. However, seeing you with Liv and Hannah at our concert earlier this year, dancing and singing to our songs, made me realize that what I felt for you was more than just a simple grade school crush. Y/n, I'd be lying if I said you weren't the person I want to spend the rest of my life with because I do. I want you to be mine, my only sunshine. And if you don't feel the same way, I understand..."

Felix was toward the end of his sentence when Y/n suddenly cut him off by pressing her lips against his. It was a bold move, but she had been crushing on Felix for what felt like an eternity and couldn't hold back any longer. When they finally pulled away, Felix looked at Y/n with a knowing smile, pressing his forehead on hers. In a very soft voice, Felix finally finishes his sentence.

"I cannot imagine spending a single day without you by my side anymore. Will you do me the greatest honor of all and be mine forever?

""Until forever stops existing, my love."

#stray kids #straykids imagines #straykids smau #stray kids fake texts #stray kids x reader #straykids fluff #lee felix #lee yongbok #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz fluff #skz fanfic #skz stay #skz x y/n #skz smau #stray kids imagine

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cheeseceli · 25 days

Text

Their s/o is a songwriter

Pairing: idol Ot8!skz × songwriter Gn!reader (individually)

Genre: fluff, headcanon, idol!au

Request: so what if skz finding out their partner is a song writer / composer? bonus points if the skz members also found out that they wrote their favourite song :>

Warnings: reader is implied to write for Kpop most of the time, not proofread.

A/n: as a songwriter, I appreciate this request a whole lot lmao. Thank you for requesting, I hope you like it!

Bang Chan

Honestly, I think this is something he would find out before dating you

Man knows everyone in the whole entertainment industry

Ofc he knows who you are

If anything, the way you both got to know each other more was through working together to make a stray kids song

Overall, I think he would love to have a partner in the industry

Even if you never get to be on stage

Simply because you understand him more than other people do

You know how music is essential and demanding at the same time

Your job probably makes him feel more connected to you

He likes to joke that you're the newest member of 3Racha

Always sends you songs he made your you to listen

And wants you to do the same

You can send him an audio at 1AM and bro will listen to it right away, ready to give you his opinion and advice (and praise)

Lee Know

Poor stray kids and stay

They will be listening to the songs you worked on nonstop

He just happens to be your biggest supporter 🤷🏻‍♀️

Has a whole 10 hours playlist with all of your work

Knows every lyric even if they aren't Korean

And he also enjoys dancing to it very much

Even if the song doesn't have a choreo, he likes to make up his own by listening to what you did

Probably invented a few trends with your songs because of it lmao

He also listens to it a lot when he's on tour

Even if it's not your voice that he's listening to, it's still you somewhat

He just wants to feel close to you

Asks you to sing or play the songs you produced

Might or might not have a small compilation of audios of you singing when he's way too homesick

(And if you wrote his favourite song, he would definitely have an audio of you singing it)

Changbin

Sees you as a very big inspiration

The amount of times he listened to one of your songs so he could get out of creative block is crazy

If anything, he probably already saw you as a role model before even getting to personally know you

Imagine the seo changbin fan boying you

If you write for other K-pop groups/soloists, he's probably trying to make references of what you wrote in his own rap

Fans always think he's talking about a certain idol or something but he really is just trying to include you in his work😭

And he would beg to have at least one stray kids song cowrote by you

Like literally begging

He needs to have one small Collab with you at least once

And will get a little pouty every time you can't work with skz because you're with another group at the moment

Hyunjin

Loves to have songwriting dates with you

Usually releases the songs you both write (with your permission ofc) as a skz-recorder

Stays are starting to wonder who is that composer/songwriter who is behind every single song Hyunjin is in lmao

I remember he said that one of his goals for 2024 was to produce more

So he will 100% seek your advice and even ask for some particular lessons at times

And he is always a little bit shy when he's about to show you what he's been working on

Because he feels like you are THE songwriter

And you're also his partner so like

Your opinion is a very big deal

And he's also so excited when you let him listen to a preview of your newest work

Is always awestruck

(Any song of yours would be his favourite lmao, and the best part of it is that he means it)

Han

He would LOVE to have a partner in the industry

Or just connected to art somehow, even if it's just a hobbie

I mean, look at his lyrics

Bro inhales and exhales art

The fact that you understand this side of him and even share this interest is so what he needed

He's also very very helpful when you need to write songs

I see late night dates in the studio

Even when any of you is far away for whatever reason

It can be 2am in Korea, he will be on his phone more than willing to listen to you brainstorm

Brainstorming with Han would be very fun overall lmao

It's either going to be the most sentimental thing to ever exist or it's going to be complete nonsense lmao

Oh and he would also make a lot of references to things you wrote

And would be so so so so happy if you ever made a reference to a work of his

Felix

I remember he said once that if he wasn't an idol, he would like to be a professional songwriter

So the fact that YOU are a songwriter/producer

He kinda loves you a little bit too much

One thing he loves is to understand your thought process

If you ever let him see your notes,he will try his best to understand every little thing

Even if it's only words with no correlation all over the page

He loves to know how your mind works

And he wants to know where the inspiration comes from!

(If it's from him he will never shut up about it)

Loves to know the stories behind each one of your works

He feels like he gets to know you a little more every time he listens to something that is yours

Is always covering one of your songs on lives

Seungmin

Literally everything you could've asked for, both in the dating aspects and in professional aspects

He makes sure you never overwork but will never restrain you from your work

Like, he knows that sometimes the inspiration comes at 2AM. He won't shut off your notebook, he'll be up with you and guarantee you don't stress

And he's your most honest critic

If you need help with rhymes, structure, chords or whatever, he is there

(After dating him you rarely browse anything at Google anymore, seungmin always understands the specific vibes you want)

And if you are a songwriter/ composer who doesn't know how to sing (that's me criticising myself) he always volunteers to make the demo for your songs

As I said, everything you could've ever asked for in a partner and coworker

I.N

Now this one

The moment he discovered he was begging to see some of your work

It's crazy how many of your songs were included in the playlist he has of songs that remind him of you😭

Talk about soulmates

I also believe that he would love to help you with songs

Give him one chance and this man is already with a notebook open trying to come up with the best verse ever

But he really likes to hear you brainstorm as well

Just you in your comfort zone really makes him admire you

And he loves how he can feel closer to you

Just reading the lyrics you wrote ou listening to the beat you produced makes him feel like he is meeting you for the first time again

Always having a new impression of you

Will also sing any demos you want him to!

Masterlist | you'll probably like: if skz wrote a song for you

Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Taglist: @yuyubeans

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femmefatalevibe · 10 months

Text

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Validate Yourself & Stop People Pleasing

A comprehensive guide to learn love & trust yourself and break out of your people-pleasing identity. Hope this helps xx

HOW TO MASTER THE ART OF SELF-VALIDATION:

Remember the longest relationship you have in life is the one with yourself. While we all need an external support system to be well-rounded & healthy individuals, no one else will be with you throughout your entire life except for you. So, acting as your own best friend is the secret to living your happiest and most fulfilling life. You ultimately need to do what's best for you. Otherwise, you're damaging the only relationship you will have to confront in every aspect and stage of your life.

Acknowledge your humanity and fundamental right to have needs, goals, and personal desires. Validate your personhood and individuality. Remember you're only human and are bound to have your own physical/emotional limitations and preferences. If you would be willing to cater to others' schedules, boundaries, and limitations, give yourself this equal level of respect and expect others to do the same.

Know everyone is self-centered to a certain degree. No one cares about your happiness as much or is watching you as closely as you are. They all have themselves and their lives to worry about. People are paying attention to their own self-interests (or want you to accomplish things to boost their own credibility or self-esteem). Being your greatest personal cheerleader is the only way to fully give yourself the praise and spotlight you deserve for your accomplishments.

Self-confidence is magnetic. It is the secret to showing up as your best self in all areas of life. Being secure in yourself makes you a better friend, family member, lover, partner, spouse, professional, conversationalist, etc. Validating yourself will make you feel good, but also radiates into every relationship or interaction in your life.

Discover what you love about yourself. Reflect on the personality traits, skillsets, and behaviors you know to be admirable about yourself. Are you constantly making others laugh? Do you get endless praise for your cooking, drawing, singing, or problem-solving skills? Would people come to you first to manage a crisis like a champion? Are you a master disciplinarian when it comes to going to the gym or reading? Do people regularly compliment your outfits or nails? Think of all of the aspects of your being that make you unique and help you to feel content with your existing, authentic self.

Take control of your life to cultivate your ideal self. While you should consistently praise your naturally admirable qualities, remember that you always can change aspects of your life that will help you feel like your best self. Know that you're in control of your decisions and have the mental freedom to think & act in any way you desire to reach any goals or implement lifestyle changes to feel like the person you feel destined to be.

Block out the noise and negative self-talk. We're (almost always!) our worst critics. Consider every new experience or interaction as a learning opportunity. Mistakes and failures are life lessons that facilitate self-reflection and opportunities for growth. Remember not to beat yourself up for past mistakes: You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. If you weren't embarrassed by your past self, you never gave yourself the chance to evolve and grow. Every success, failure, and new life stage offers its own lessons and teachable moments. Remember that we're all our own unique life paths. Comparing your life to someone else's is like comparing apples and oranges. Both entities may be fruitful but have vastly different flavor profiles, growing seasons, and rates at which they ripen. As Dita Von Tesse shrewdly said: "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there will always be someone who hates peaches."

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE PLEASING:

Acknowledge that people-pleasing is a form of self-neglect. By prioritizing another person's desires or approval above your own, you're ultimately neglecting your physical, emotional, energetic, or spiritual needs. Consider acting in your best in your own best interest as an act of self-care that safeguards your well-being.

Set boundaries. State your limitations, calmly, clearly, and directly. Understand that boundaries are your response to other people's actions, not a means to control other people's behavior. An expectation would be to ask someone not to call you during the workday. A boundary is stating that you will not pick up the phone during the workday and will only make/return calls in the evening after leaving the office.

Communicate your needs & expectations clearly. While you can't control what others will do, being upfront with your needs and expectations can eliminate unnecessary stress, logistical issues, misplaced hurt feelings, or disappointment in any type of relationship. Direct communication between parties will allow you both to respect each other's boundaries and to prioritize interactions that are mutually more positive, helpful, and emotionally nourishing.

Express your "no" freely (and without over-explaining). Remember that "No" is a complete sentence. You do not owe someone your time or emotional energy simply because they asked or expect you to do something/attend an event out of perceived obligation/guilt or simply to make someone else happy. Making sure you're okay is your first priority. Feel free to say "no" to any requests that would emotionally drain you, make you overextend yourself, or compromise any of your personal values/goals/priorities. You don't need to justify your needs. Just kindly decline, and let it be.

Remain consistent with your boundaries & priorities. People will treat you how you let them treat you. Once you set a boundary or share your priorities will someone, stick to these words through your actions to show you're serious about how you expect to be treated. Teach people how to interact with you in a way that doesn't feel self-sacrificing. No one will respect your boundaries and priorities if you don't and are easily swayed to forgo these self-imposed standards on a day-to-day or case-by-case basis.

Consider the long-term consequences of people-pleasing. While it may appease immediate conflict or anxiety, people-pleasing offers a one-way ticket to resentment and misplaced anger. By ignoring our own needs for the sake of others, we place unspoken expectations on these individuals' obligations to reciprocate our emotional labor – whether it be with their future actions or matching our generosity with unprompted favors or emotional support. We start keeping score as we continuously give ourselves over to others of perceived obligation. When someone doesn't return the favor, we get upset, despite never expressing this expectation of someone else or that we're even self-sacrificing in any way. This can lead to us feeling depleted or guilt-tripping others, and from their perspective, seemingly out of nowhere. It is best to remember we always have a choice whether to give to others and it should be of a genuine desire, love, or support for the other person – not as a way to gain external validation or manipulate a situation to create a false sense of obligation that we keep ourselves or the receiving party beholden to. Think of your energy, time, and personal resources given to others as a gift, not a bargaining chip.

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moon-rivr · 2 months

Text

easiest thing

pairing: miguel o’hara x spider-woman reader

contents: reader who thinks they’re hard to love and miguel who loves them so easily, mentions of death at the beginning, reader goes to therapy, somewhat angsty and fluffy?

author’s note: pls don’t take the characterization for ‘you’ srsly, this was purely self indulgence 🫡

word count: 4.3k

"Loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done."

You'd given up on romance despite that you still had the lingering desire of wanting someone's eyes to sparkle everytime they looked at you and of wanting someone that just understood you in a way that nobody else had access to. You were a hopeless romantic with a shitty life in general, to say the least. If it wasn't the fact that you ended up getting ghosted time and time again or the fact that every talking stage you had ended up flopping like a fish out of water, it was the only best friend that you'd had dying. A part of you shut off the day you were forced to kneel down next to your Peter Parker, every sliver of hope in you fading away at the same rate that the life faded away from his eyes.

You knew that you weren't responsible for Peter's passing, but a part of you wished you could've done more than just watch the life from his body fade within your very eyes. You'd felt like the strongest person in the world up to that moment, being able to lift vehicles and pieces of rubble with ease, but in the moment, you were just as vulnerable as anybody else. You wished that you could've taken note of the strange behavior he elicited beforehand, that you weren't so caught up in your own issues to take note of what burdens he was struggling with. But now, all you could do was just linger on what you could've done, should've done, and what you wished you'd done differently.

You forced yourself to try to go through the motions of living without Peter, every task seeming more and more difficult with each day that passed by. Showering seemed like a tedious task, the almost borderline sting of the boiling water doing nothing to distract you from the pain that lingered in your heart. You'd even considered giving up the mantle of being Spider-Woman, the red and blue spandex suit collecting dust in the back of your wardrobe. Not even a year had passed by when you'd lost your Uncle Ben, the words from his dying lips ringing through your head. "With great power comes great responsibility," you murmured quietly to yourself, deciding to put on the suit after you'd failed to show up for New York time and time again these last few months.

You'd thought that coming back would be like riding a bike, that you wouldn't forget it no matter how much you willed yourself to try. But clearly, you'd been mistaken seeing as how you were currently dangling off the edge of the Empire State Building. You'd shot a web to cling onto the side of a building, finding yourself coming up short as nothing came out of your wrists. "Come on," you murmured to yourself, trying to stick your fingers in different positions to get the web to come out. It was almost like your body was giving you the consequences of neglecting it for far too long, refusing to work with you when you needed it the most. The grip that you had on the building loosened, the stickiness from your fingers no longer there as you dropped to the floor.

You frantically stuck your hand out to try to stick a web as you rapidly began your descent, a thin layer of sweat coating your forehead. You weren't sure if it was the humidity in the air or the sheer nervousness that was coaxing your body at the moment. Most likely the latter, but you didn't have time to think too hard about it as you willed for just one measly web to come out before you face planted onto the pavement. Your body was running strictly out of fear now as you got dangerously close to the floor now, your mind starting to accept the situation for what it was. While you'd completely given up on trying more than surviving after Peter had died, all you knew now is that you didn't want to die. You really didn't.

A shaky breath of relief escaped from your lips when you stuck to a building near you, the web that you'd been hoping for so badly coming into fruition. You looked down at the floor, silently thanking the web sticking to the side of the building after realizing just how close you'd gotten to actually hitting the floor. After that near-death experience, you'd decided to get back into training your body before you went out to patrolling the city like you used to. Forcing yourself out of bed was less difficult as the days passed, finding a purpose to get yourself out of your house everyday. Your body wasn't the fighting machine that it used to be but you were willing to work to get just a sliver of what you used to have.

It wasn't long until the citizens of new york city started noticing that Spider-Woman was back, met with some disapproval but overall, everyone just seemed thrilled over the comeback. The city had been buried in a cesspool of chaos and robberies after you'd left. A few of the small fry were smart enough to drop their sketchy business before they got caught, an instant relief felt in the small businesses throughout the city. You couldn't help but feel suspicious as even the villains that found joy in threatening the city had gone under wraps, your mind running through all the possibilities of what they could possibly be planning. Your feet swung off the building you were monitoring from, your eyes shifting to every little noise elicited below you.

Your feet sprung up to action faster than you'd expected when you heard the sound of rubble crumbling underneath you, the sound of screaming ringing through your ears as you swung throughout the different buildings. You went to the scene of the danger, a distinction from the people that were fleeing from the scene while screaming at the top of the lungs. You approached the scene, watching as Rhino destroyed every building that he had access to. a malicious smile on his face as he controlled the metal suit, taking pleasure in the way that the city panicked under his control. You weren't one to make any ceremonious entrances, simply swinging into action as you wrapped a web from underneath him to tie his feet together.

You'd taken a couple hits from the fight, your body still not used to the strain of these fights after only week of training. Despite the fact that every muscle in your body was begging for you to stop, to give into the exhaustion, you refused to give up just yet. "Just a little longer," you mentally assured yourself, the muscles in your legs starting to burn as you ran over to the Rhino. You wanted to separate him from any of the citizens that might've stayed to watch the fight, unable to take even just one casualty tonight. You rendered the suit useless after tying it up to the wall, punching through the thick glass of what seemed to resemble the eyes. You pulled out what seemed to be a cheap copy of the original out of the suit, your eyes widening at the realization that this was all a decoy.

Miguel was watching your fight intently through the monitor, watching your movements as you tied the villain down. It was everything that he would've done in your situation, every movement graceful as you kept the villain away from any civilians. "Thinking about her as a new recruit?" LYLA asked from beside him, popping up into view as she took in the sight of your reflexes. "She'd be a nice addition," Miguel uttered quietly, entranced by the way that your body moved under the spandex. He'd been overlooking your universe for quite some time, finding a couple things that elicited some red flags in the system during your absence. He found it impressive the way that you'd managed to put your pain to the side for the greater good of New York City, willing to come back and fight despite the fact that you had no one to be personally fighting for.

Blood leaked from the side of your mouth as you received a blow from the actual Rhino, half your ribs bruised from the sheer impact of his metal fists pounding into your body. His suit was nearly indestructible, you were unable to take him down but you were able to tie him. Almost as if sensing your plan to restrain him, he avoided every single one of the webs that you'd struck out at him and landing a couple hits in the process. You were reeling on the floor, clutching your stomach as the man mocked your position on the floor. Every little comment escaping from his mouth serving to belittle your position as Spider-Woman, of doubting your ability to protect the people of New York City. You hated the effect that his words had on you, every single little utter only serving to deepen the insecurities that you already felt about yourself.

Your eyes widen a bit as you noticed the man in front of you glitch, making it all too evident that this wasn't your Rhino. You had noticed that it was taking you a bit longer to get past his defenses. You were thinking of giving up, giving into the pain and exhaustion coursing through your body when you felt the hair on the back of your neck stand up like a soldier on command. An orange portal appeared by the side, the swirling waves almost distracting you from the task at hand. You'd managed to briskly avoid a punch thrown by the robot, your legs barely sustaining you as you stood up. You expected for the portal to show some of the goons that the Rhino called for assistance, but you were instead met with people that were all too similar to you. They all wore the spider emblem on their suit, their movements synced to precision as they fought against the villain.

You'd joined the fight to the best of your ability, helping them tie down the villain until one of the members captured the man in a trap. You were approached by a rather tall man just as you were getting ready to leave, his figure imposing over yours as he looked down at you. The mask on his face disappeared with one tap of the watch he had on, his gaze showing no emotion in it as he looked over at you. "I want to formally invite you to the Spider Society. It's where spider-people from different universes come and gather to fight against anomalies, I'd recommend for you to give it a thought," he spoke up, his hand extending a watch similar to the one he had on over to you. "This should teleport you to the building whenever you're ready."

You looked down at the watch as you realized it was nearly a week since it'd been given to you, the decision still not clear to you despite how long you'd looked at it. While there was nothing here for you in this universe, no prospect of friendship, family, or romance, a part of you didn't want to leave out of how comfortable you were at the moment. You'd gotten used to the cycle of the crime rates in New York, of fighting small time criminals and the occasional villain that tormented the city. You thought to yourself about what Peter would do, trying to convince yourself that he would be assuring your decision to stay stuck in this spot. With every attempt that you tried to rationalize your decision, you were only met with more reasons as to why you should go. Your finger pressed the button on the gizmo hesitantly, looking at the portal appearing inside of your apartment.

You were awestruck as you walked into the Spider Society, overwhelmed by just how many different universes you'd been so blissfully unaware of. There was a Spider-Cat, Spider-Dino, and even a car version of Spider-Man, interacting like it was normal. The building itself was also impressive, a modern design to match those of the buildings outside of it. You'd thought of flying cars as a figment of your imagination but here they were, a common sight as they moved through the sky. "You're the new recruit, right?" A small orange holographic woman appeared in front of you, waiting for your confirmation before she led you inside. "Grab one of the bracelets on that table over there before you start to glitch out."

Before you got the chance to ask what she meant by 'glitch out,' you felt like your body was struggling to even mobilize. The atoms inside you seemed to be defying the building you were in, some of them morphing you into a different shape before it stopped. You quickly pulled the bracelet onto your wrist, following the holograph into the room that she led you in. "He'll be down from his platform in a second. That thing usually takes a while to load," she informed you, fading away just as soon as she'd arrived. You looked up at the platform as it started to lower, every second of waiting only making you feel more nervous about the situation. It was the same man that had given you the watch beforehand, the leader of this whole organization if you had to assume.

Miguel took one look at your expression, your eyes holding so much pain buried within them even if you were trying your best to plaster a smile on your face. Even that seemed to be crumbling under his very eyes, though, your smile not quite meeting your eyes as it wavered with every second that he spent looking at you. He knew the pain that came with being Spider-Man, knew of all the sacrifices that the people in his society faced once they took on the role. He'd seen this story play out multiple times, whether it be with Ben, Gwen, or with Peter. But for some reason, unknown even to himself, he couldn't handle seeing you so upset. "Welcome to the Spider Society, I'm Miguel O’Hara. Allow me to show you around."

Miguel took you along through the different areas in the society, taking in your reactions of everything that it offered. You couldn't help but notice that every member that the two of you passed seemed to look at him with awe, immediately scrambling to find something to do. "If you ever want or need someone to talk to, we have a licensed therapist on the first floor. Everything's confidential so you don't have to worry about anything getting out," he spoke up once he was finished with the tour of the facility, his red eyes meeting yours for the first time this evening. The orange hue in the background only accentuated how beautiful they truly were, the intensity that his gaze held.

Maybe it was the fact that he didn't want you to turn out like had, so consumed in your own pain that you'd become a shell of the person of who you used to be. A way for him to prevent yourself from delving in too far in your pain, the way he had when he neglected to speak his native tongue because it just reminded him time and time again of how his mamá had failed to show up for him. You weren't a bunch of sunshine and rainbows from what he could tell from the few clips that he'd seen from you in your element, but even he could tell that you were hiding the pain you felt. He wanted to be the helping hand he wished he could've had when he was struggling with Gabriella’s loss, the helping hand he wished he could’ve just had in general.

“I don't really need therapy but thank you," you assured him, thanking him once more for welcoming you as a member before making your way out of the room. While subconsciously you could feel that there was something wrong with the way that you were perceiving the world and reacting to the things happening in your life, you didn't want to feel like too much of a burden. You didn't want to take that help away from the people that could need it, despite the fact that you could tell within yourself you were slowly starting to wear down from the events happening in your life. Before you could go to get help, you had to acknowledge that deep within, you truly did need someone's help during this period of your life. But for now, you would just keep your head down and prove your worth in the society.

You'd made your way into therapy after you decided that maybe it wasn't as bad as you imagined, that admitting to yourself that you needed help hadn't been the end of the world. You'd managed to work out through your feelings of grief about losing peter and Uncle Ben, learning that it was okay to miss them just as long as you didn't let your life stop from the grief that you felt. Despite the fact that you'd made some progress with that aspect of your life, you refused to touch any topic that covered the progress of your romantic life. Maybe because you knew that it would delve into further issues, knowing that it would make you think about why you felt unwanted. You weren't ready to deal with those issues just yet, unsure if you would ever be ready to divulge.

You were slowly starting to come around to being the version of yourself that you used to be, of getting back into doing the things that you once enjoyed doing. You'd picked up a couple books from the library at the society, spending some of the time that wasn't training or going out on missions reading about silly romance novels. If it wasn't that, you'd found different activities that you found yourself enjoying. You realized that you wouldn't have tried them out if it weren't for the state of your life right now, having lived in a state of doing whatever was comfortable between Peter and you. You were finding things that belonged solely to you, finding memories that weren't involved with missing anybody.

Miguel wasn't too obvious with the way that he presented his feelings towards you, but if you'd looked a little closer, you would've noticed the little details. How the grumpy boss who avoided making meaningless conversation with everyone else seemed to present an interest in everything that you had to say, asking you questions of how you were adjusting to the Spider Society and asking questions about things that you showed an interest in. He knew that you were still coping with your problems so he didn't want to push you too far, didn't want to push you too far away from him. He was happy to keep talking to you in a platonic matter, just getting to hear that little rise in your pitch whenever you were excited filling him up with a sense of peace and tranquility.

"LYLA, can you log into her amazon account for me?" He spoke up to her, unable to decide what to get you for your birthday. He'd had months to plan out what he wanted to gift you, but every gift seemed to be dwindled in quality when he compared it to the type of person that you were. You were worth more than the complimentary pair of socks he was so accustomed to gifting the members of the society whenever they had a birthday. LYLA’s confusion was evident across her features but she complied with his request, hacking through your account to pull up your cart. While you had some necessities on there, you also had a list of the books that you were planning on getting in the near future. Perfect.

To say that it was the easiest purchase he's made in his life was a bit of an understatement, he was waiting anxiously to see the excitement on your face once you opened his gift. You'd even joked that he seemed more excited about the gift opening than you were. He watched as you opened up the gift carefully, trying not to rip apart the wrapping paper that he'd chosen for you. Your eyes practically sparked up with excitement at opening up the box, finding the catalog of books you were putting to the side until you were able to buy them. You were rendered speechless for a bit, your eyes shifting from the books over to Miguel who was standing to the side, gauging for every one of your little reactions.

"Thank you!" You exclaimed, wrapping your arms around him as you enveloped him into a hug. The action was foreign to him, something he hadn't bothered to practice in a while. but every thought of that went out the window as his arms came to your back, rubbing small circles as he looked down at you. "I hope this means you liked your present," he spoke just loud enough for you to hear, an intimate scene set between the two of you despite the fact there was a crowd of people partying around. "I love it, thank you so much," you told him, the tightness of your embrace speaking for all the words you couldn't get out of your mouth at the moment. He let you cling onto him as long as you needed, unwilling to deny you anything.

Miguel wasn't planning on acting on his feelings, but eventually decided that it would be better to get a rejection straight up than stay wondering 'what if?' He ran different scenarios of how it would go, some of them resulting in the two of you going out on a date while some of them resulted in you ignoring him throughout your duration at the Spider Society. He tried hard not to focus on those thoughts too much, letting himself have a false sense of positivity despite the fact that you hadn't reciprocated his feelings at all. He ran different approach methods in his mind, trying to figure out what he could possibly say to you but every thought in his head seemed to be rendered useless just by taking a good glimpse at you in your natural state. Curled up on the couch with a book in your hand, the faint glow from the sun shining through the window illuminating your features.

"Hey, do you mind if I talk to you?" He came up by your side as you were reading one of the books he'd gotten for your birthday, a small smile appearing on your face as you looked over at him. "Yeah, for sure. What's up?" You asked him, scooting over on the couch to give him space to sit down. He sat down next to you, almost seeming nervous in front of you as he twiddled with his thumbs. It was a sight to behold, the man usually in command of every room he walked into nervous at the prospect of getting rejected. "I wanted to ask you out on a date. If you don't want to, I completely understand. I just hope it won't ruin what you've built here at the Spider Society," he finally spoke up after what seemed to be a couple minutes of silence, his eyes hesitant to look into yours as he waited for you to process the information.

You'd been oblivious to these signs for months, unable to even fathom that someone would see you in that way. You were so convinced that you weren't someone that people saw as date-worthy, that you were only a placeholder until they were able to find someone better. You blinked slowly as you tried to let his words sink in, the look on your face vulnerable as you looked up at him. "You're not joking right?" You tried to confirm, hoping that you weren't being used as the butt of a joke this time around. You'd started to grow comfortable around Miguel, enjoying being around his company and even envisioning him whenever you had your nose buried in a book. "No I’m not joking," his voice was gentle as he assured you, his hand holding yours as he rubbed circles on the back of yours.

"Then yes. I'd like to go out on a date with you," you finally accepted his invitation after no recording crew had come out to expose themselves.The two of you spent a couple seconds in silence before he spoke up again. "Pudiera escribirte un libro como esos que tanto te gustan nomas hablando de cuanto tu presencia me alumbra la vida y aun no seria suficiente para describir el amor que siento por ti, preciosa. You make me forget every word in my repertoire just by looking into your eyes," he murmured, his Spanish coming out nearly perfect despite the fact he hadn't bothered to speak it aloud in a couple years now. "Loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done."

(I could write you a book like those you really like, just talking about how much your presence illuminates my life and it still wouldn't enough to describe the love I feel for you, precious)

Despite reading and re-reading all the romance books stacked up on your shelf at home, you'd never actually imagined that you'd be the one in the main character's position now. You lived vicariously through those books, all the romantic moments that you longed for merely described as words on paper. You remembered picking out books with the male's pov just to get that glimpse of what adoration sounded on both sides, of getting a picture of what you wanted someone to think about when they saw you. You'd seen multiple people in your life getting into relationships, assuring you empty promises that you'd find the person for you when the time was right, and you’d dismissed it all as pure bullshit. But all that waiting seemed worth it at the thought of going out with Miguel.

You couldn't help but feel butterflies taking flight in your stomach at the realization that Miguel, one of the smartest people you've ever met who seemed to have a response for everything, was rendered speechless just by having you around. The feeling was almost overwhelming as you slowly started to let your guard down around him, letting him love you the way he wanted to love you. You realized now that maybe you weren't as unlovable as you thought you were, that you weren't too broken to be the object of someone's love and admiration, just that you'd been seeking those things from the wrong people. All you wanted was to express the same love that he’d expressed towards you despite the lack of experience.

tag list 🫶🏼: @yougavemeyourheartyouknow @lazyjellyfish300 @pxtched @nympholove @ifiwasaguybrickedup @yournextbimbogf @nixinluv02

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pandorxxx · 1 year

Text

Hard to please

Neteyam x Omatikayan fem reader (all aged up)

Warnings: Cursing, fingering, p in v, bratty reader, brat-tamer Neteyam, dom-Neteyam, multiple orgasms, squirting, choking, oral (for like 2 seconds, nothing crazy), bondage.

Synopsis: it’s finally your 21st birthday, and every warrior has pitched in to make sure that their favorite girl gets whatever she wants. They all have eyes for you, but you have eyes for one, and one only…

Outfit/Hair inspo:

You were the most spoiled girl in the clan. Your father, being jakes right hand man and your mother being one of the greatest hunters. You were automatically among the elite kids in the clan. You were very prissy, not one to get your hands dirty. Your father got you everything you wanted, and he spoiled the hell out of you. Every girl wanted to be you, and every male wanted to be WITH you. You were one of, if not THE most popular girl in the clan.

So, when your 21st birthday rolled around, you better believe it was the most talked about event all year. It was so big that your father and Jake sat down with many of the warriors to plan this out. It was endless nights of building and preparation, and every warrior in the clan was hands on. It didn’t take much for the young warriors to agree to such a task, considering it was all for you.

To say that you had every male warrior around your age wrapped around your finger was an understatement. They all wanted you, and would do anything to get you. Even if that meant signing up to help with a stupid girly birthday bash.

“Shit, this turned out kinda nice.” Lo’ak smiled, hands on his hips as he looked around the forest, admiring all of the work he and the other warriors put in for your party. There was no theme in particular, your only rule was the main color being PINK. And so, what y/n wants, y/n gets.

Pink lights hung from the tall trees, illuminating the forest just right. Pink balloons, streamers, and glitter imported from earth. This idea had been in your head ever since you were 16 years old, and your father did everything in his power to make sure everything was the way you wanted it. Beautifully decorated desserts sat on a long pink table. Along with all of the alcohol possible. It was truly a fairytale.

“Well, anything y/n wants, y/n gets. I hope she likes it with her ungrateful ass.” Neteyam spoke with a drink in hand, watching the forest fill up with members of the clan.

“She better like it. I’ve got glitter in places glitter shouldn’t fucking be.” Lo’ak scoffed, rolling his eyes. Neteyam followed with a snicker.

“Tell me about it. I’ve been washing pink paint and glitter off of my body for the past couple of weeks.” Neteyam sighed, taking another swig of his drink. The brothers slowly looked at eachother, silence falling between them before the famous line left their lips in unison.

“aNytHinG fOr y/N!” They mocked, bursting out into roaring laughter. It was sad but true. You had every warrior right where you wanted them, and that included Neteyam and Lo’ak. They’d do anything to see your spoiled ass happy. Not to mention you were hard to please.

Suddenly, the lights went low. Literally turning the entire forest a deep pink shade. The music cut, as your father took the main stage that the warriors hand built and painted pink for you.

“I just have a few words before we reveal my beautiful baby girl.” Your father started, immediately quieting the clan. He sighed with admiration before speaking again.

“Y/n, my daughter, my princess. We have been planning this party ever since you were 16 years old, and now…Tis finally time. Tonight is all about you, and I hope you have the best time. I love you so much baby girl.” He finished. The crowd immediately clapping for him.

“Now, I would like to turn the mic over to Jake. I believe he has a few words.” Your father spoke before handing the mic off to Jake.

“Yes, thank you. Firstly, I want to start off by wishing y/n a very happy birthday. I’ve known her all of her life. And she has grown to be a beautiful, lovely young lady.” Jake started with a lighthearted smile.

“Yeah, she’s grown alright. Have you seen that ass? Eywa took her precious fucking ti-“ lo’ak whispered before Neteyam covered his mouth. “HUSH!” Neteyam strained, trying to hold in his laugh.

“I want to thank my warriors for setting this entire party up. I’ve never seen them volunteer for something so goddamn fast.” Jake joked, eyeing all of his warriors all knowingly causing them to erupt into laughter.

“Anyway, I hope you have a great time baby girl. We all love you. Tonight’s all about you.” Jake ended, causing the crowd to hoot and hollar. Suddenly, The brightest pink light flashed on you and your friends in your own private section. Gasps from the girls and whistles from the men filled the forest.

Your hair was twisted in the front, as loose curls hung down your back. Decorated with gorgeous pink accessories. Your body was covered in loose glitter, glowing under the bright lights. Your outfit was revealing, diamond embroidered nonetheless. Diamond chains hanging down your waist. Diamond chains laid perfecting along your round ass. Your thigh-band matched your diamond outfit perfectly as well as your other accessories. You smiled, blowing kisses into the crowd as you waved at everyone.

“Oh my…” lo’ak spoke in a trance like state, watching as you stood up to spin around, showing off your little outfit. “Mmm that girl is practically fucking naked. Who ever made that outfit needs a raise or something.” Lo’ak continued, eyeing you up and down before licking his lips.

“Mhm.” Neteyam hummed, watching you through his predatory gaze. Muscles flexed as he clenched and unclenched his jaw. You and Neteyam were kind of close, considering both of your fathers brotherhood. He really couldn’t stand your attitude. You were rude, cocky, and prissy. Your relationship was mostly him giving and you taking, without as much as a simple thank you. If it wasn’t for his father, he would’ve been taken care of that bratty attitude of yours. There was no denying that he was sexually attracted to you. Hell, every warrior was. And tonight just amplified it.

The music turned back on, and the party resumed. You spent your time mingling with everyone there. Singing and dancing with your friends, and drinking/smoking the entire time. Until it was gift time. This was always your favorite part of any celebration. Even though the only person who was good at giving you gifts was your father, he knew you so well.

The warriors fell in line, right in-front of you. Most of them bowing at your feet before handing you their gifts. They all ranged from handmade jewelry, cloths, and accessories. Nothing that really peeked your interest.

“Lo’ak, what the hell is this?” You smiled sarcastically, holding a very short pink loincloth with “lo’aks property” written across it in black glitter.

“Oh, come on mama! you know we would be good together. Just thought everyone else should know that ass belongs to me.” He shot you a cheesy smile, rubbing his hands together as if he just gave you a block of gold. You couldn’t hold your laugh in as much as you tried.

“Tempting. It’s too small.” You giggled, holding it up with your finger. He smirked, eyeing you up and down. “Exactly.” He whispered, biting his lip with a stupid smile on his face.

“Yeah Yeah, where’s your brother?” You rolled your eyes before blushing slightly at just the mere thought of Neteyam.

“Bro, I don’t know. I don’t care either. Kiss me already!” He spoke in an irritated tone, puckering his lips as he closed his eyes. You threw the loincloth at him, landing perfectly on his head.

“Kiss that.” You laughed, your friends right behind you. And the gifts just kept coming. Warrior after warrior. Same old same old. Until one of your favorite ones stepped up, stealing your undivided attention.

“Y/n, you look beautiful as always.” Said Nazu before signing a greeting. He was one of the most promising warriors in the clan around your age. He was strong, confident, sexy and you couldn’t deny that.

“I know I’m pretty. Give me the gift now.” You spoke sensually, bringing him closer by his war belt. He smiled, eyeing you up and down before following your orders. He handed you the box, both of you locking eyes as you took it out of his hand. Your gaze met the box as you untied it. The most beautiful headpiece you’d ever seen shimmered under the pink lights. Encrusted with rare pink diamonds, only the most skilled hunter would be able to find. You and your friends audibly gasped. Your mouth hung opened in shock. Nazu was visibly proud. Proud that he impressed you, and that was very hard to do.

“A headpiece I made myself. Your favorite colored diamonds are woven together, see? Only fit for a queen, such as yourself.” He explained, his voice low, as he admired his handy work in your hand.

“Oh my eywa, Nazu….” You spoke in a surprised tone. Admiring the headpiece before meeting his gaze. “You’re always the best gift giver.” You smiled, immediately placing the headpiece on. And ofcourse it went with your outfit so well. Everything on your body was dripping with diamonds, so expensive as it all danced under the low lights. He was utterly speechless as he admired everything about you, eyeing you up and down with a slight smirk.

“Y/n, if you’d do me the honor, I want to court you. I’d take such good care of you, better than any of these other warriors and you know that. I’d give you the life you deserve, and you wouldn’t have to lift a finger. I’d shower you with gifts like this everyday.” He confessed, bringing your dainty hands to his lips, leaving a small kiss as he stared into your soul. You couldn’t help but smile, listening to the same old song you heard from the warriors before him. His hands shifted to your back, scooting you closer to the edge of your throne with aggression. He leaned down to your ear, placing a soft kiss.

“I’d fuck you right. However you want it, whenever you want it. It’s all yours, my love.” He spoke sensually in your ear, sliding his hands down your back to grip your ass. He was making you hot. He knew what he wanted and he went for it, there’s nothing more attractive than that. But you couldn’t help but turn your attention to the warrior behind him. The last warrior of the night. Neteyam stood tall, gift in hand as he glared at the scene unfolding in-front of him. He huffed with every breath, face screwed in anger.

“As tempting as that sounds. I would be a liar if I said I didn’t have eyes for another.” You hummed, staring directly at Neteyam, making sure he heard every word. He smirked, shaking his head all knowingly. Nazu let you go, backing up to look at you. He scoffed, placing his hands on his hips as he looked around.

“Ha! Who? Who could you possibly want more than me?!!” He shouted, eyebrow cocked as he waited for an answer. You looked back at Neteyam briefly, as he seemed to be in defense mode, just in case he need to kick Nazu’s ass for the way he was shouting at you.

“I want you! Can’t you see?!” Nazu growled lowly, gripping your dainty arm tightly. Shaking you out of your trance.

“Move.” Neteyam said firmly, standing directly behind Nazu. His lip twitching with anger as his tail swayed high in defense. Your eyes went from the grip on your arm to Neteyam within an instant. Nazu huffed, letting you go harshly before throwing his hands up in surrender. He turned around, meeting Neteyams hard gaze.

“She’s all yours.” Nazu smiled sarcastically, backing down immediately. He turned his head to you eyeing you up and down before walking away. Bumping neteyam’s shoulder in the process. Right as Neteyam went to snatch Nazu by his queue, he felt 2 dainty hands grab his wrist, turning him around.

“Hey Hey! Don’t worry about him. Fuck him.” You reassured Neteyam, bringing him dangerously close.

“Did he hurt you? Huh? I’ll fucking kill him.” He growled, examining your arm for any marks. Jaw clenching and unclenching in anger. You grabbed his chin, titling it up to meet your gaze.

“I know you would. But it’s no need for that. I’m fine.” You smiled, glancing at his lips, before bringing your eye contact back to his eyes. He sighed in relief, finally calming down in your embrace.

“What’s in the box?” You asked with a smirk, letting his chin go before pointing at the small box in his hand.

“Why’s it so small? You of all people know I like big presents.” You snarled, sitting back in your throne, crossing your legs slowly. Thighband flashing with every sudden move. He chuckled, glancing down at it before handing you the box.

“Such a fucking brat. Just open the box!” He laughed, placing it in your lap when you wouldn’t take it from him. You rolled your eyes, lifting the lid to be met with the most beautiful thigh band you’d ever seen. It was pink ofcourse, covered in bioluminescent flora and huge diamonds so bright that they reflected on your face. Bigger and shinier than the ones Nazu gifted you. You were speechless, jaw dropped to the ground as you watched it dance under the lights.

“N-Neteyam I- Thank you.” You stuttered, in complete awe as you stared at the beautiful craftsmanship on your new favorite present.

His eyes widened, ears perked up from your words. Out of everything he’s ever done for you, he’d never gotten a thank you until now.

“I-umm.” He threw his head down, chuckling at himself for getting choked up. “I know how much you like those things. You always look so good with them on, so I thought I’d make you a personal one. Your favorite color, and the biggest diamonds I could find.” He finished, hand on the back of his neck as he glanced at the thigh band you had on, trying his best to keep his composure.

“I love it. I love it so much! Put it on me, please!” You screeched in excitement, handing him the thigh band. He shook his head with a light smile before bending down in-front of you. He ran his strong, calloused hands up your leg slowly. You uncrossed your legs immediately, letting his tender touch consume you. He grabbed the piece of fabric that was already on your thigh, pulling it down slowly as he watched you Intently.

Once he got it off of you, he tried to hand it back to you. You shook your head, pushing his hand away. “You keep that one.” You spoke, eyeing him sensually. He smirked before placing it between his teeth, grabbing the one he made for you. He slipped it on you slowly, making sure it was in place before sliding his hand all the way down your leg softly.

“Perfect fit. You know me so well.” You giggled, admiring the band dancing in the lights. He admired too as he took the old band out of his mouth, placing it on his wrist just for it to scrunch to his size perfectly.

“Finally got your ungrateful ass to say thank you. I think my job here is done.” He joked, standing to his full height. You placed your foot on his chest, and he quickly grabbed your ankle, massaging your lower leg with a slight smirk.

“What are you doing? Hmm?” He asked, tilting his head with a confused look on his face.

“I wanna show you how grateful I am. Let’s go somewhere more private.” You smirked.

“And miss the rest of your party? I don’t think so.” He said sarcastically, shaking his head in disagreement.

“Let’s take the party elsewhere.” You demanded, eye fucking him as you looked at his loincloth. Bulge growing by the second.

“Now you know your father would kill me for fucking his precious little princess.” He spat, letting out a chuckle before placing your foot back on the ground.

“Oh come on, Tey! He won’t find out. I know you want me.” You giggled, leaning back in the chair before shifting your hips up sensually. He clenched his jaw in restraint, watching your body move, and the diamonds glisten around it.

“Mmm what gave it away?” He hummed. You bring him closer by his wrist, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

“Oh, I dont know. Maybe the growing bulge in your loincloth babe.” You whispered in his ear before backing away to look into his eyes. He raised a brow, a slight smirk forming across his lips. “We can’t, y/n.”

“Give me what I want, Neteyam. It’s my birthday!” You whined, bottom lip poked out as you pleaded with him. He sighed before he let a smile creep across his face.

“You sure know how to get what the fuck you want, don’t you?” He asked with a slight smirk, picking you up out of your chair. Your legs immediately wrapped around his waist as you kissed his neck shamelessly, not caring if anyone saw you. He glanced back at your friends, shooting them a fake smile.

“Uhh, if you ladies would excuse us. I’ll bring her back in a few.” He chuckled nervously, bowing his head slightly at the girls before walking away with you in his arms.

- -

He walked you to a secluded place in the forest behind the party. Music from the party could still be heard from where you two were. Your lips were still attached to his neck, purple hickeys forming all around his neck. He laid you down on the moss before hovering over you, indulging in a passionate kiss.

“Fuck, lay back!” You commanded, flipping him to the ground before straddling his lap.

“Goddamn, woman. You want me that bad, huh?” He chuckled watching you take the headpiece that Nazu gifted you, throwing it to the ground beside you.

“Oh shut up!” You rolled your eyes, bending down to kiss him again. He obliged, humming in your mouth as he slid his hands down your back to your round ass, gripping it tightly. He smacked it a few times, causing you to moan in his mouth.

“Take it off of me.” You moaned breathily in between kisses. He obliged, untying your diamond skirt from around your hips, throwing it to the side. He moved on to your diamond thong, untying it from around your hips. He pulled it from under you, throwing it to the side as well. You sat up on him, grabbing his hand to run it down your entire body. He bit his lip, watching the diamonds on your outfit dance under the night sky.

“You look so good, I-I don’t even wanna take this off of you.” He spoke in his melodic tone, running his hands across your diamond top.

“So don’t.” You smirked, yanking his loincloth down just enough to expose his throbbing cock. The veins pulsated as his swollen tip leaked precum. Your eye’s widened, licking your lips as you stared at his huge cock in awe.

“I want it. Right now.” You spoke in a trance like state, completely hypnotized by his gorgeous shaft.

“It’s all yours, Princess. Now let me give it to you, ok?” He spoke calmly, nodding his head as he tried to sit up, but you just pushed him back down. Immediately lifting up to attempt sliding down onto him.

“I I-wanna ride it!” You moaned, trying to push him into you, to no avail. You really didn’t know what you were doing, but you knew that you wanted him, right now.

Come on, y/n. g-get up, it’s not working this way.” He sighed, tapping your thigh.

“Nooo teyam, I wanna ride it. Just a f-few more seconds! I-ngh! It’s almost in!” You whined, gripping his shoulders tightly as you tried to shimmy your way down his shaft.

He growled, rubbing his hands down his face in frustration. “It’s n-nowhere near in you. J-Just let me change positions. I can help you out, ok?” He explained, voice calm as he maintained his patience with you.

“No! Just put it in me already!” You huffed, still trying to use him as your own personal fuck toy, but failing miserably in the process.

“Shit! You’re going to hurt yourself!” He shouted in frustration, stopping your hips with his large hands.

“STOP IT TEY!” You shouted back, sending him over the edge. He growled loudly flipping you both over, him now hovering over your half naked frame. You tried to lift your head up to speak before he grabbed your neck, pushing you back to the ground. You immediately backed down to him, the only man that could put you in your place.

“I know you’re not used to being told no. But that shit ends today. If we do this, we do it MY way. You’re not the fucking boss, I AM. Got it?” He spoke lowly, shaking your neck with every word. You held onto his wrist to ensure that he wouldn’t squeeze your neck any tighter. You nodded your head frantically with wide eyes.

He bent down, crashing his lips into yours. Your tongues fought for dominance, but his won. He began to slide his hand down your body slowly, until he reached your bare cunt, rubbing firm circles into your clit.The surge of electricity made your body jolt under his touch. You tried to evert eyes from Neteyam by turning your head side to side frequently, but all he did was follow you with his eyes.

“No, look at me y/n.” He said breathily with a dark tone before tilting your chin to meet his gaze. He deemed this the perfect time to slide 2 fingers into you nice and slow. Your back bowed to the mossy ground, breasts just barely touching his chest as you let out a series of whimpers. He curled his two fingers into you at a steady pace while he used his thumb to massage your clit harshly.

“FUCK I- I…” you moaned, squirming around underneath him. He grabbed your neck, holding you in place before he drilled you with his fingers, working loud squelching noises out of you. Your jaw dropped suddenly, deeming you completely silent. He was nose to nose with you, you two breathing the same air as you listened to the wet sounds of your cunt.

“You wanna be a good girl and squirt for me? Hmm?” He asked, staring into your blown pupils.

“I-I YES! Im gonna be a good girl!” You squealed, face screwing in pleasure as your legs started to shake. If your eyes weren’t wide before, they were bulging now.

“TEYAM! I think I-I THINK!” You gasped, your orgasm completely taking over your body. “Mhm, give it to me baby! Don’t hold back.” He moaned, getting completely turned on by your pornographic release. You screamed, gripping his strong arm as your juices flowed out of you with each rough pump of his fingers. He suddenly took them out of you, smacking your clit at a harsh and fast pace. Surges of electricity ran through your veins, making you twitch with every other smack.

“Cum for me AGAIN!” He growled, watching you come undone for a second time, squirting all over his hands and wrist. Your legs closed around his hand tightly, as you lazily backed away from him.

“P-Please Teyam!” You whined, gaining some distance away from him as he watched you back away. He chuckled, sitting up on his knees as he jerked his cock at a painfully slow pace.

“Come back. I thought this was what you wanted?” He asked sarcastically, yanking you back down to him by your ankle.

“No, I-I do want it. I-I just-“ you stuttered until he cut you off. “You just want it YOUR way. And I won’t let that happen, sweetheart.” He continued your thought, he knew you like the back of his hand.

“Not true!” You whined, crossing your arms.“ Yes the fuck it is.” He spoke lowly, slapping his cock on your sensitive clit, smearing your juices on his shaft. You lifted your head up just to get a peak, licking your lips as you hummed with each slap.

“You want it in you?” He bit his lip, now rubbing his cock in between your soaked folds. You sat up on your elbows, watching the source of pleasure, listening to the squelching noises.

“Yesss! Please Teyam. Im begging you!” You moaned, bucking your hips against his cock. To hear you beg was like music to his ears, and all he could do was give you what you wanted, no questions asked. He lined his cock up with your aching hole before sliding in slowly, making sure not to hurt you in any way.

You were already drunk off of him. Your head dipping back slowly to every single inch he slid into you. Your eyes rolled back and you had a delirious smile plastered on your face from finally getting what you wanted.

He bottomed out harshly, smashing the last few inches into your sweet spot before continuing that movement with deep strokes. He grabbed your leg, pulling it over his shoulder to open you up alittle more.

“Ohh my- Teyam FUUUCK!” You moaned, gripping the moss beneath you. You whined with every thrust, back still bowed to the ground. He started at your neck, rubbing his calloused hand down you entire torso, sending chills through your spine. He reached your clit, rolling it between his fingers before massaging the bud of nerves with his thumb.

You jolted uncontrollably from the pleasure. You reached down to grab his wrist tightly, trying your best to stop his movements as the pleasure became too much for you. He smacked your hand away immediately before glaring at you, stopping his movements all together.

“You don’t fucking listen! I told you, I’m in charge. Not you!” He growled, pulling out of you just to flip you over on your stomach. Your eyes widened, realizing that you’d ticked him off for the last time.

“Teyam, I-I’m sorry! It was j-just too much! It won’t happen again please!” You pleaded with him, and he loved to hear you beg. He stayed silent, all you could hear were loud huffs. So loud and intense that you could feel his hot breath on your back.

He took your diamond thigh band from around his wrist. He pulled your arms behind your back, wrapping the piece of fabric around your dainty wrists a few times before it was tight enough.

“Arch it. NOW.” He commanded, sending a hard smack to your ass. You whimpered, yet and still lifting your knees up, arching your back and exposing your dripping cunt to him. He chuckled, watching your stubborn ass follow his direct orders.

“All it took was my cock to make your prissy ass bow down, huh?” He grabbed your hair, yanking it back to the point where your eyes met his. Your eyes were filled with desperation and he loved it.

“Watch me destroy this pussy. Don’t take your eyes off of me.” He growled, sliding his clock into you slowly, watching your eyes roll back from the sudden fullness. He began to drill into you, hard and deep. And all he could do was watch you fall apart, moaning and whining deliriously as he fed you long, hard strokes.

“What would your father think about his precious, innocent, Princess getting dicked down like the slut she is, hmm?” He asked, watching your face screw in pleasure as he sped up his pace.

“You’ve really got everyone fooled. Thinking you’re so fucking innocent. Saying you don’t get dirty, but look at you. So fucking dirty for me, right?” He snarled in your ear, gripping your hair tighter as he drilled so deep into you.

“Mhm! Yesss!” You moaned, voice rippling from his hard thrusts. He pushed your cheek back down into the ground, pushing your knees farther apart. He gripped your hips, using them to bring you back onto his throbbing cock repeatedly.

“Tell me you’re my dirty little slut.” He growled, smacking your ass a few times, leaving numerous purple handprints on the flesh. Using your tied up hands, you tried to block his hits, to no avail.

“Te-yammm I- I can’t!” You whined, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you felt his swollen tip slam against your sweet spot with each stroke. The pleasure mixed with pain was too much for you, it consumed you to the point of delirium. But you knew if you didn’t obey him, it would get worse for you.

“I-I’m your dirty little slut!” You muttered before biting your bottom lip, trying to suppress the screams threatening to pierce through the still forest.

“Mhm, Good girl. Good *thrust* fucking *thrust* girl *thrust*” he moaned through gritted teeth before tucking his bottom lip in between his teeth, watching your ass meet his pelvis with every hard thrust.

“I-I’m so fucking close, Teyam!” You whined, shifting your head on the ground to look back at him. He grabbed the restraint around your wrist, using that as leverage to pound into you slowly, creating the loudest smacking sounds that rang through the forest. Your jaw dropped, legs shaking from your oncoming orgasm as you clenched around him repeatedly.

“Mhmm! keep squeezing me with this pretty pussy. Cum on this dick and milk me dry, Princess.” He moaned, shooting you a devilish smirk before smacking your ass once more. There was nothing you could say, your moans got caught in your throat, and your jaw still hung opened. He watched your eyes roll back again, shaking uncontrollably from the steady strokes he sent you.

“Best birthday present ever I’m guessing?” He chuckled, eyebrow cocked as he awaited an answer. You nodded your head slowly, still spasming underneath him as you finally reached your peek.

“SHIT!” You squealed sharply, juices flowing down your legs with every stroke. He pulled out, smacking your clit with his cock repeatedly, working your orgasm out of you. You shook violently, screaming as you squirted all over his cock.

“Fuck yes! Let it out all over this dick.” He moaned, sliding back into you to chase his high. Your knees buckled, sending you and him flat against the moss. He still kept his pace inside of you, thrusting hard and deep. You lazily squirmed under him, trying to crawl away from the overwhelming amount of pleasure.

“No, come back. I’ve got one more present for you.” He growled in your ear, wrapping his entire arm around your neck, using it as leverage to Buck his hips into you hard.

“Mmm too deep, too deep!” You moaned, using your tied up hands to push down on his lower abdomen. But you were too tired to use any real force.

“I’ll go as deep as I want to in this pussy. It’s mine!” He growled, tightening his grip on your neck as he thrusted into you harder. You were on the verge of another orgasm. Twitching with every stroke, whimpering his name as tears welled in your eyes.

“Y-You’re gonna make me cum again!” You screamed, feeling the knot in your lower abdomen tighten. “Go ahead baby, I’m right behind you.” He moaned in your ear before kissing the lobe.

That was all you needed before your eyes rolled back, cumming on his cock for the second time. His cream coated shaft revealing itself with every thrust. You let out a series of moans as you came down from your high. Neteyam felt your walls contract around him, trying to milk him dry.

“Fuuuck! Get on your knees!” He grunted, pulling out of you, walking around your trembling body to stand in-front of you. You managed to use your knees, pulling you up to kneel in front of him.

“Mmm you look so fucking pretty like this. Ready for your gift, Princess?” He moaned jerking his cock hard and fast. Sliding his hand from the base, all the way to the tip, smearing the precum oozing out of his tip. He let out a few grunts before painting your face with his seed. You smiled deliriously, sticking your tongue out for him.

“Juuust like that baby, let me feed you.” He moaned, grabbing your hair to push your mouth onto his cock. You obliged, wrapping your mouth around his entire length as he came in your mouth. You hummed on him, sucking the rest of his nut out of him. Your cheeks filled with his seed and you swallowed it greedily before detaching from him with a loud popping sound.

He grabbed your chin harshly, smearing the access cum across your lips. “Happy birthday, my little brat.” He muttered through gritted teeth. You stared up at him through hooded eyes, a delirious smile plastered across your face.

“Thank you, Teyam…”

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