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sapphire11 · 2 years

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first off i'm so glad i just came across your blog Ali xx and second "doesn't realise they've been hurt"!!! i've imagined many times a canon where carlos doesn't realise he's hurt during the blizzard (some tree trunk wound from the collapse maybe!) and the delayed pain only kicks in when he's at that guy's store and trails off while talking to nancy and tommy asking "you good?"

Anon you are so sweet! Welcome I am glad to have you!! 💛

This was such a fun prompt for me and it really pushed me out of my usual writing comfort zone so I hope I was able to do it justice for you. I've never written canon divergence like this, but I really like the idea of there being more Carlos whump both on the show and in fanfics.

Hope you enjoy!!! Fic under the cut or on ao3 here

Tags: Canon Divergence, 3x01-3x04, Carlos Reyes Whump (9-1-1 Lone Star), Hospitals, During Break-Up, BTHB Prompt Fill

💥 Anyone else wanting to submit a request you can find my BTHB card here

Starts in 3x01 during Carlos helping at the shelter

“Thanks again Officer Reyes.”

Carlos is leaning over finishing taping the sign into the broken window, “My pleasure.” he responds before he hears the Major he brought in earlier beginning to get agitated across the room. He’s sympathetic to the man’s struggles of being inside, as he attempts to explain that it’s the safest option for them right now, but in the middle of their discussion Carlos is interrupted by shaking and the ominous cracking of the building around them.

Shouting for everyone to get out of the building Carlos knows he needs to act fast and making sure the Major is okay with it he bends and picks the man up before attempting to make his way towards the exit.

Carlos grunts under the weight of carrying the other man in his arms and stumbles a little as he feels debris pepper his back from the falling roof. He lifts the Major a little more securely in his arms as he continues to hurry out of the rapidly collapsing building as quickly as possible. As he moves he’s glancing around to make sure he doesn’t see anyone else being left behind.

The cold wind hits his face relentlessly once he exits the protective structure of the building just as a resounding crash echoes from the remains of the roof collapsing into the gym. His back aches as he moves to set the major down in his wheelchair and Carlos rubs an especially tender spot as he stretches back up.

He doesn’t have time to think about his minor aches and pains though as the wind whipping through the open air and chill seeping through his jacket reminds him that all these people are now stranded in the cold with no place to go.

Talking with the fire crews Carlos remembers the furniture store he picked the soldiers up from earlier and it hits him that it would be the perfect place for these people in need to keep warm while they wait out the storm.

He organizes the transport as he contacts the store owner for permission and calls in to dispatch for an RA unit to come assess any injuries from the collapse. Thankfully no one seems to have sustained any major injuries and it honestly could have been a lot worse.

Carlos’ ignores the slight ache in his own muscles as he helps people move into the space of the furniture stores and as he convinces the store owner that it’s the right thing to be doing. He knows the man is skeptical, but he seems like a good person who is willing to be what all these people need for the day.

The arrival of the private RA unit is a surprise, even more so when he here’s the familiar voice of one Captain Vega. Carlos can’t bring himself to look at TK for more than a second even if all he wants to do is grab the man by the shoulders and demand why he went radio silent on him for the last few months. This is the first time he’s laid eyes on him since he walked out of their, well his loft and never looked back. The ache at seeing him now is almost physical and the flare of it has him wanting to bend over with the force of it.

Only Carlos realizes that it’s not coming from his chest or his heart, but his back, the pain sharp and intense, replacing the dull ache of muscle fatigue from the last hour.

He hears Nancy ask him something, but he can’t bring himself to respond. Too many competing thoughts are entering his head, the ache in his back, the presence of his ex-boyfriend, and the distinct feeling that he’s missing something.

Turning to look at the crowd gathered in the furniture store he lets out a moan as the pain flares again in his back.

“You good?” Tommy asks and it’s all he can do to give her a tight nod in response as he realizes with dread that they’re missing someone. The teenage volunteer, Lindsey Rogers.

He goes to take a step away to tell someone, get someone to go in to find her when his knees give out from underneath him.

“Whoa Carlos!” Tommy exclaims, grabbing onto his forearm and giving him the needed support to maintain his balance on his feet.

“I’m okay,” he answers, shaking off her hand as soon as he feels stable enough to stand on his own. “There is a volunteer missing, Lindsey, I have to go tell the fire crews.” He goes to move again and finds himself swaying instead. Head feeling fuzzier than before and he feels a familiar touch on his jacket-covered arm. A touch he never thought he’d get to feel again, but that he’s been craving for so many months now.

“I’ll go let them know.” TK tells him with worried eyes scanning up and down Carlos’ body, clearly trying to pinpoint the source of the problem through layers of clothes. “Let Tommy and Nancy help you, Please .”

The last word is said like a desperate plea. It feels like a plea for more, but the pain is becoming more intense by the second and Carlos is having a harder time now focusing on anything other than the fire radiating through his back. He nods his head once, eyes lifting to meet green that look the most lifeless he's seen in years in the face of the man he still loves. TK smiles softly back at him and then he’s passing off his grip to Nancy, hurrying away to presumably do as he promised and make sure the fire crews know about Lindsey.

Carlos lets himself be supported between Nancy and Tommy as they get him lying down on a nearby sofa. If he’s being honest with himself it was more that he didn’t have a choice in the matter and he just follows their lead.

Once he’s lying down Tommy’s asking him a series of questions while Nancy checks his vitals. He sees Nancy shooting worried looks in the direction her partner left in and Carlos wonders how much TK has shared with her about their break-up and time apart.

Tommy gets him situated on his side and starts palpating around his back causing him to squirm and then let out a sharp hiss as she touches the most tender spot and the pain flares again.

“Looks like you might have a bruised kidney.” She declares to him. “We’ll get you loaded up and off to the hospital. They’ll want to do an MRI to check for internal bleeding.”

Carlos wants to argue, he still has half a shift to finish and the city is in chaos, but Nancy is already inserting an IV into his hand and running fluids and what must be pain medication, because his head begins to feel a little fuzzy and the pain fades into the background.

Suddenly TK’s back sending worried glances between him and Nancy. If Carlos’ head was more clear he thinks he’d be able to pick up on the silent conversation the partners are having, but all he can focus on is that he is looking at TK again for the first time in so long. All he can see is the bags under TK’s eyes and the lines on his face that give him hope that maybe the other man is as miserable as Carlos is during this whole break-up. It’s a horrible thought to have, to wish misery on someone else, but the anger Carlos stills feels about how the situation all happened, coupled with the intense desire he still holds deep inside for TK swirls together in conflicting ways.

Between blinks TK is there in front of him silently arguing with Nancy, gone, and then back again with the gurney from the ambulance. He recognizes the frustrated look on TK’s face when Nancy grabs the ambulance keys from him and forces TK to help Tommy get Carlos transferred to the gurney.

TK’s hands are hesitant as he guides Carlos to sitting and then lifts him with a strong grip until Carlos is securely placed on the gurney. Carlos stares up at him, and any other time he’d be embarrassed at the amount of staring he’s doing, but the pain meds make thinking too deeply difficult and allow him to give in to his urges. Another blink happens and Carlos finds himself in the back of the moving ambulance, TK beside him and Tommy at his head. A distant part of his brain tells him he should be more worried about the lost time, but mostly he’s mesmerized by the color green staring back at him. Mesmerized by the soft brush of TK’s fingers as he checks his IV and brushes a stray piece of hair off of Carlos’ forehead.

His entire ability to filter his thoughts to voice is lost and Carlos finds himself blurting out, “I miss you.”

TK startles at the words, eyes taking on a shiny quality as he glances up to meet Carlos’ gaze before they flick away quickly. Carlos clumsily moves to grab TK’s arm.

“No, you don’t get to do that again. You don’t get to run away!” he exclaims angrily, wincing a little at the visible flinch he sees run through TK and the worried look Tommy shoots between them.

TK looks back at him with clear tears in his eyes now, a hand reaching out to touch Carlos face, but stopping just short, uncertain, “I’m sorry.” TK whispers softly, sincerely and the words could mean a million different things. It could be an apology for running away, for the fight, for not coming back, for not being able to do this now, for so many things, but TK doesn’t elaborate and the ambulance has pulled to a stop. Carlos is suddenly moving again, the gurney being passed off to the waiting hospital staff and he is only able to catch one last glance of TK, tears running down his face before Carlos is pushed out of sight.

When Nancy comes to find him hours later he’s more clear-headed and incredibly embarrassed for his loose tongue and emotions earlier. He expects she’s just checking up on him, but the message that TK’s been admitted to the ICU strikes him in the chest, hard. Carlos feels a pain flair to life again at learning that things aren’t looking good and he regrets so much not taking his chance to tell TK how he really felt earlier.

His doctor clears him to go visit the ICU, as long as he promises to rest. He has a kidney contusion, but no internal bleeding and he was due to be released soon anyway, the hospital needing the beds for the abundance of patients coming in from the storm.

Walking into TK’s ICU room knocks Carlos back a step and Nancy has to reach out an arm to support him making his way to sink in the hard chair beside the bed. It’s uncomfortable on his bruised back, but Carlos knows he’s not leaving anytime soon. He wouldn’t have been able to before his brief interaction with TK in the ambulance and he certainly can’t now. He still has no clue where they stand, he’s still angry and hurt, but something about the look in TK’s eyes has him rooted in this chair. Praying to a God he hasn’t truly believed in in years to give them another chance. Promising everything that if he does Carlos won’t take it for granted this time.

Picks up from Canon 3x04

#ali answers #BTHB prompts #writing #writing motivation #911 lone star #tysm for the prompt!

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amethyst-crystalfly · 3 years

Text

“Fever Dream”

Pairing | Todoroki Shoto x f reader

Themes | Hurt/comfort, fluff, tooth rotting fluff, fever comfort

warning | migraine attacks? mentions of passing out ( I am sorry I don’t know if they really need warnings, but just in case since this is my first time posting a fic like this)

Authour’s note: Hi guys! This is my new secondary blog for all stuff anime related. Feel free to leave a comment or drop an ask for a fic yu might be interested in. This is written from my personal experience with migraines, but you might have had different experiences, but I hope you enjoy this! Thank you so much for reading Love you!

wc | 2454

You stirred on your bed to the sound of your morning alarm going off. As you reached for the digital clock to make it stop you felt a dull headache building up.

“Ugh it is way too early for this right now” you thought to yourself as you groggily sat up in your dorm room bed. You were an aspiring hero you surely couldn’t let a small headache get in the way of your hero course classes. So, you stood up with resolve to get through this day and tried to block out the steadily increasing headache.

You went about your usual routine and promptly met your dorm mates for breakfast after getting ready for classes. You greeted them and tried your best to participate in conversations despite of the uneasiness.

Class started as usual and you decided to keep yourself busy in order to keep your mind off the headache. However, your eyes were burning up, they felt prickly. Every time you closed your eyes it felt like someone was pricking needles at your eyes. It was Mike sensei’s class and he had instructed everyone to silent read the short story he had just explained. You rested your aching forehead against your palms to support them while trying your best to read the instructed chapter. You could feel a fever coming, these were your usual symptoms before you got a fever. You sensed a light poke on your back and knew it was Mina calling you to say something, that is how you guys talked in between classes.

“hey are you alright? You seem a bit off” Mina whispered “you are usually more interactive in classes, is everything alright?”

“I am fine just a bit tiered I guess” you assured her.

She was not exactly convinced but she decided that she would save it for later. However,Mina was not the only one who had noticed this change, you had received concerned glances from a lot of your classmates today through out the classes. One person seemed to be particularly more concerned, Todoroki Shoto.

After English lessons the class was finally dismissed for lunch, much to your relief.

“I’ll join you guys at the table! I have some work to do before I have lunch” you told your friends

“Okay but hurry up and come soon!” Hagakure waved (or at least you assumed she did from the movement of her clothes)

“I will save a seat for you” Jirou offered as she followed the other to the cafeteria.

Once they left you let out a heavy sigh and started organizing your desk like you usually do before you join your friends for lunch in the school cafeteria.

“y/n-Chan are you feeling fine? Your eyes look glossy” You looked up to meet Ochaco’s concerned gaze.

You chuckled and yet again gave words of false reassurance to your friend, but even you knew you were pretty far off from fine right now.

“let’s go have lunch” you said after finishing organizing your desk for the next class after lunch. But as you stood up you managed to knock off your water bottle from the desk as you nearly fell over from the sudden dizziness and you had to grip the edge of your desk to keep from falling on your face.

“y/n Chan!” Uraraka gasped and rushed to help you stabilize yourself but the moment she touched your arm her hands involuntarily jerked back. “Oh my gosh! You are burning up!”

You were still attempting to stabilize your blurry vision and push down the boughs of dizziness “I-I am fine” you managed to mumble out.

It felt more like an attempt to convince yourself than to reassure her. Most of the class had already dispersed to the cafeteria, save for Mina and Ochaco who had stayed back to accompany you to the cafeteria and Todoroki lingering by the class room door, you weren’t sure why he stayed back.

“y/n Chan you should go to the infirmary! We will inform Aizawa Sensei” Mina said

“Yes, I will also give you my notes if you need! Just please take some rest” Ochaco chimed in, worry lacing her words.

Todoroki was silently observing this from distance, he wanted to reach out and help you but he was unsure about how to approach you. Upon seeing how delirious your condition was he decided to put his hesitance aside and he walked over to your desk.

“I can escort you to the infirmary, if you want that is, I..” he paused as if to find the correct word “I would be glad to help you”

Mina and Ochaco shared a secretive look at this and almost giggled. “Oh no they are being too obvious! This is so embarrassing!!” you internally screamed in embarrassment as your cheeks heated up further at Todoroki’s words and blush bloomed across your features.

“Yes, that would be perfect Todoroki kun! Please assist her!” Mina exclaimed and Ochaco offered her words of agreement.

You could not let this happen, you did not want Todoroki Shoto, the boy you secretly admired so much, to see you like this. What if he thought that you were weak? You are all training to be heroes, right? weakness is not acceptable! …right? Your mind was swimming not only with uncertainties but also with dizziness. You looked up to meet Todoroki’s eyes, and you saw worry and tenderness in them, for you and your heart almost melted at that. But no, you needed to attend these classes they were important how could you miss them; you would be falling behind. You attempted to let go of the sides of the desk you had been clutching for support and straighten up “Todoroki Kun I- “your voice trailed off as black spots appeared in your vision and you saw Todoroki Shoto’s beautiful face growing hazy, the sounds and worried voices around you felt so distant as unconsciousness took over.

You felt firm hands holding you, as if someone was carrying you somewhere, was this Todoroki Shoto? You brain felt too fuzzy to understand. Your one arm was draped over the persons neck and your head was resting on their shoulder. You semi-consciously nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck finding the warmth there. You could feel the person tense up for a moment, at that you muttered an incoherent apology before fading back to unconsciousness again.

The next time you woke up it was on one of the infirmary beds. You groaned at the sensation of the bright lights hitting your eyes and you turned to your side and curled up, pressing your palms to your eyes to protect them from the lights. The fever had induced a migraine which was your prime tormentor right now. When a migraine attack hit you, lights became your worst enemies as they made the migraine more unbearable. Recovery girl walked in moments later with some medicine from the other room for your fever. She helped you sit up and gave you the medicines with the gentle care of a grandmother. She had the lights dimed on your request and listened to your concerns.

“I am sorry darling but I can’t heal your migraine head ache, since it is not a physical injury, but I will give you some meds to help you with the fever. I suggest you take an off for a few days and get plenty of rest” You simply nodded as she got up to go write you a leave note. “and oh! The young man who brought you to the infirmary said he would drop by at dispersal before heading for the dorm, you can go back with him since you are still not stable enough, he should be here in a while” she informed you while leaving the room.

That caught your attention. "Todoroki brought me here? Did he indeed carry me to the infirmary?? And he was coming back?? To check on me???" You felt yourself turn into a blushing mess and you buried your face in your hands. “It’s nothing” you told yourself “He is probably just doing it out of the goodness of his heart not like he won’t do the same for anyone else, he was a good guy, it is probably nothing else, I should not get hopeful” Your train of thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. And you found Todoroki standing there.

“Hello y/n Chan, are you feeling better?”

“Yes somewhat…” you paused looking down “I-I am sorry for all the trouble...”

“please don’t apologize! It is no problem at all really” He assures you with a gentle smile. That smile that damned smile, it made you lose all focus. Gosh if only you could kiss him--that thought itself startled you so much that you stood up from the bed with a jerk. The sudden movement made your head hurt and you winced in pain.

“what happened?” He seemed confused

“oh, it’s nothing!” you tried to laugh it off “we should, umm go, I think I would feel better in my room”

He motioned for you to lead the way. You both made your way towards the exit of the school building in silence.

“Did anything important happen in class today? Any new announcements?” You asked breaking the silence

He hesitated for a moment before saying “I made a separate list of home works for you and I umm also printed a copy of my notes for you…so umm…you don’t need to worry; you can find everything there”

It made your heart soar, you were genuinely touched by this but you were also surprised “Todoroki kun thank you so much, I-I really don’t have words…thank you so much!!”

You saw his ears turn pink at that and a faint blush started forming on his cheeks, “it is alright, you don’t need to thank me” he said. You caught yourself staring at him and quickly averted your gaze.

As you stepped outside the school building, you groaned at the sun mercilessly shining. You hid your face in your hands again.

“Are you alright y/n Chan?” He asked concerned, lightly touching your arm.

“It’s just the sun…bright light worsens my migraine” The school corridor was cool and fairly dark hence it wasn’t that bad but stepping out in the sun was not the same.

“let’s go, I got this” you said without removing your hands.

You felt Shoto place his one hand around your shoulder, holding you steadily as he said “yes, let’s go”

He guided you towards the dorms and you kept shielding not just your eyes from the sun but also using it as an excuse to hide your blushing face.

You slumped a bit against him in relief was once you entered the dorms and the cool atmosphere greeted you. The hallway was thankfully empty much to your relief, if your friends saw you like this with Todoroki, there will be no end to their teasing.

Todoroki’s hand shifted from around your shoulder to the small of your back, ready to support you in case you stumble. The air between the two of you was tense, it felt like there were things which you both wanted to say but no one spoke. Your heart was hammering in your chest as he led you towards your dorm room. As you reached the dorm room, your hands were clammy as you tried to fish your keys out from one of your skirt pockets. He also seemed rather unusually clumsy while he was searching for the notes in his bag. He handed them over to you gently, and your fingers brushed. You were both alone in the hallway and it was steadily getting more awkward. As you were searching for things to say standing in the doorway, Todoroki broke the silence.

“y/n Chan, I have something to tell you...”

your heart sped up but you tried to appear calm and you casually leaned against the doorframe as you said “Yes, sure, go ahead”

“I…I am usually not very good with expressing feelings with words, but I want to tell you, today when I saw you like that it really got me worried, I know sickness and injuries are a part of life, especially with the nature of the work we are aiming for, it will probably be fairly common” he paused and took a deep inhale before continuing, still not meeting your eyes “What I am trying to say is, I want to be there for you, I know you are strong and you don’t need to be protected, but I want to fight by your side and always have your back, and if something gets you down I want to help you up…” he stops and sighs and shakes his head mumbling something to himself before finally meeting your gaze, “Y/n Chan I like you, a lot, I probably am not making sense right n—”

You cut him off by and cupping the side of his face in your palm and reaching up on your tip toes and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “I like you too Shoto kun, a lot”

His face turns bright red at this and you giggle at that.

“really?” he asks surprised

“umhmm” you nod suppressing a smile as you step closer to him.

He tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear with an amused smile, as if he couldn't quite believe what you just said. He gently takes your hand in his. And presses a soft kiss on your knuckle and says “You should change and get some rest now, we can get back to this conversation later, I will be right back and bring you something to eat since you haven’t had lunch, okay?”

You nodded smiling at him. As he left and you closed your door you nearly jumped out of joy, your heart was about to burst. You washed up and quickly changed into an oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts. You were starting to feel slightly cold again which probably meant the fever was coming back but you were far too giddy with joy to care. You opened your door upon hearing a knock. Todoroki greeted you with a smile and placed a steaming bowl of Shoba on your table.

“I always have some Shoba in my fridge, so I got you some, I should go now…I am probably interrupting your rest, take care okay?”

You simply walked towards him and wrapped your arms around him in a hug wordlessly and nuzzled your face against his chest. That earned you a soft laugh from him, which you absolutely cherished, and he wrapped his arms around you too.

“Shoto kun?” he smiled at the sound of his name on your lips

“hmm?”

“Stay with me”

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random-mha-thoughts · 4 years

Text

Mama’s Boy/Lover’s Boy (Bakugou x Reader)

Pairing: Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Inspo: “Down for You” by Cosmo’s Midnight/Ruel

Summary: Bakugou hates being dragged to fancy parties for many reasons, but only one thing makes it all worth it.

Word Count: 2,322

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog @bunnythepipsqueak

a/n: I absolutely adore this picture, ngl that was the whole inspo for this.

It's not fair that a whole Katsuki exists while I'm bleeding out and my hormones are out of whack. I'M A LOYAL SHOUTO HO, STAY IN YOUR LANE KATSUKI! DON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY INSTABILITY LIKE THIS!

When I was at the last few paragraphs, I realized I would've loved to let Baku lose his shit and almost crash the entire thing like in Murphy's Law (man I loved writing that), but that wouldn't be good. We love a good chaotic fluff monster.

This turned out a lot longer than I thought it would, but I really like how it turned out! Definitely more fluff than I expected, but who's mad at that? I'm bleeding out of my uterus and my mom and dad got me feverish and sick and I definitely needed this, so I KNOW you Baku stans are gushing at this too. Thanks to @rubyred-imagines for one of the story beats here!

Spice might be incoming in the next day or two ;3 Not sure which character yet, but it's gonna happen!

"Babe, your face."

"What about it?!"

"Stop looking like you want to kill everyone."

"But I do!"

"I know you do, but don't look it."

Katsuki walks into the grand hall, muscular arm linked through his dazzling girlfriend's slender one. He really doesn't want to be here; he hates these high-class, uptight gatherings, he hates this constricting tuxedo he has to wear, he hates how he barely knows anyone here, and he especially hates that he could've been on a date with her alone instead of being surrounded by these suffocating faces.

His lovely girlfriend announced this unfortunate outing a few weeks ago right before Katsuki was going to suggest the idea of having a date night, since they haven't had any quality alone time together in a while. Her eyes lit up when she reported that she RSVP-ed for both of them to attend her company's fancy dinner. And his plans were crushed like that. He wanted to grumble and refuse, but she'd yell right back at him anyway, being the stubborn person she is.

She reminds him of his mother.

"You're just like my mom," Katsuki rolls his eyes. "She used to drag me to her company dinners all the time, too."

"We won't stay for long, I promise," she pats his arm with her perfectly manicured fingernails.

"She used to say that too, and then we'd be out for hours," he mumbles to himself.

The girl looks up at him sweetly. "And you'll be a good boyfriend and stay here with me the whole time, right?"

The blond growls low in his throat. "I don't even belong here, you were invited, not me."

"Katsuki, you're my guest, of course you belong here." She leans up to whisper in his ear, "Besides, you're more handsome than any of the guys here, show them all up."

That makes Katsuki smirk. "Damn right I am, babe."

The couple find their table after an irritating amount of time. Every few steps, some other pretentious stranger from his girlfriend's company sweeps over to exchange empty kisses and the same empty conversation. Katsuki thinks it's some kind of script everyone practiced from, no one deviating from the script or else the entire simulation might fall apart. Actually, he would like to say something inappropriate just to relish their horrified or disgusted faces, but he for the sake of his precious girlfriend, he keeps his mouth shut, teeth grit, and smile plastered each time he's introduced to a new face.

"Do you really know everyone here, babe?" Katsuki mutters in her ear as they finally approach the table.

"Not everyone," she hums in response, "I don't know most of the employees from the other two companies here, but I know the higher-ups through my boss."

He briefly remembers her saying this dinner was for a big merger deal between these three companies. His girlfriend works tirelessly for her boss, usually taking on more than she can handle and coming home late most nights. She'd been promoted from just being a regular company worker to being in a near-the-top position right under the main board managers. He admires her dedication, but he's always worried about her health and energy level. He may be a Pro Hero, but she's the real superhuman in the relationship.

Katsuki does the gentlemanly thing of pulling the chair out for his lady and pushing her back in before settling in his seat next to her, purposely shifting closer to her than the person on his other side.

"What manners your boyfriend has," one of the older ladies at the table coos at the couple.

"Thank you, I'm very grateful to have him," the girl smiles politely in response.

Katsuki's heart melts at the pride dripping from her voice as she compliments him. "And I'm very lucky to have her." It felt like the right thing to say as he squeezes her hand under the table and briefly glances into her eyes.

The two don't tear away from each other until someone else approaches his girlfriend and she stands to greet him briefly. Katsuki surveys him in case he would do something ballsy to his girlfriend.

She turns and places a hand on Katsuki's shoulder. "This is my boyfriend, Katsuki Bakugou."

Hell yeah, I am, you better not pull anything, dumbass. He stands and shakes the other man's hand, polite but stiff.

"Nice to meet you. Your girlfriend is honestly a powerhouse, she's amazing," the man gushes.

"Yes, I'm aware," the blond replies tersely. He's on guard because he doesn't get a good vibe from this man.

Sure enough, he goes on a little too animatedly about how much his girlfriend does for the company and the rest of the company. It comes off to Katsuki as fake and kiss-ass. Nonetheless, his girlfriend accepts all the compliments like the graceful goddess she is. He realizes this boy is one of his girlfriend's juniors as they descend into a conversation surrounding work and future projects.

After dismissing him, another group of his girlfriend's underlings rushes over with compliments and "Oh my gosh, senpai! You look amazing!" and the like. Each time, she would accept the praise, introduce him, before launching into more work-related subject matter that Katsuki learned to tune out eventually.

Honestly, he's annoyed at how everyone here is overwhelmingly toxic. All the subordinates or peers are kiss-ups and her superiors are pretentious stick-up-their-asses that look down on his girlfriend. He can't stand that his lover is surrounded by this atmosphere all day. They don't know the genuine type of person she is, other than that she's kind and easy to walk all over. No one seems like they care enough to carry genuine conversation, and he'd rather not tune into that energy.

Instead, Katsuki directs his attention to his lovely girlfriend. Staring at her face, he recalls how painstakingly long it took for her to paint her face with makeup to look this flawless. He's sure she would've had a mental breakdown while doing her eyes, especially putting on her eyeliner. She was chanting to herself cutely to get them even, almost coaxing her shaky hands in front of the mirror to perform some kind of magic. If he had done the wrong thing and hurried her or teased her habits, she would've unleashed all her anger on him. He's learned that the hard way. In the end, she was able to achieve this masterpiece on her face without making herself look like a completely different person, highlighting her natural beauty.

Scanning downward to her dress, he remembers fondly going shopping with her last weekend. Her hair was in a topknot as she fumbled through the racks for a dress to wear. She had dragged him along because she trusted his opinion on fashion choices. While he would've liked for her to choose a scarlet red gown, Katsuki knew she'd look infinitely better in the sapphire blue number she's wearing now. The skinny straps holding the dress up leads down to a not-too-plunging neckline that suits her shoulders, collarbone, and chest perfectly. The dress cinches in at the waist to emphasize the figure he knows she has before falling straight down from her hips, and the mid-thigh slit on one side is subtly sexy without having her risk overexposure. Finishing the entire outfit is a classic pair of nude pumps, a dainty gold necklace, matching dangling earrings, and a clutch matching her shoes. Her hair is curled in waves cascading down her back with some stands hanging over one shoulder.

Katsuki can't help but smile unconsciously. He can't wait to someday place the finishing touch she deserves: a simple but elegant ring on her left hand.

After all the formalities, the two finally sit down and start eating the dinner courses that have started gracing their place settings.

"I know you wanted to go out for date night today," his girlfriend begins gently, "But we can imagine this is a fancy restaurant with just us two, and everything else is just a backdrop."

"Shouldn't you be paying attention to what's going on?" Katsuki quirks an eyebrow.

She waves her hand and takes a refined sip of her wine. "I've already heard them practice this speech too many times."

The devilish blond smirks and slinks closer to her. "That's not something a good employee would do, is it?"

"I'm not working right now," she smoothly responds back, replicating his energy.

The organizer of the dinner finally takes the stage and starts his speech. Katsuki keeps his gaze on his beautiful girlfriend, admiring her delicately picking and eating at her plate. She's so precious to him, he doesn't care if he's making heart eyes and everyone can see.

When the speech finishes, his girlfriend's glass also empties and she indicates that she's going to get another. It leaves him on edge, he hates being alone with all these strangers even for a few minutes. He doesn't want to tell you this, but if one of these people try to small talk him without you here, he might actually break something.

"So, Bakugou, what do you do?" the same lady from earlier chirps at him.

He whips his head up. For fuck's sake. "I'm a...public safety worker of sorts." He tries so hard to sound polite for his girlfriend's sake. He also can't resist scanning the room for her as a safety reflex. With all the shady people around, he doesn't trust that something bad won't happen. And he also wants your comfort in these uncomfortable situations, but he'll never admit that either.

"Oh, I see." The old lady seems satisfied with his tone, barely noticing his fidgeting as she launches into a whole story about her grandson wanting to do something like that, and all the tangents related to that.

Katsuki is relieved that he doesn't have to talk for the rest of the time, just nodding along and humming to prove he's passively listening. He finally spots his angel a few tables away, groaning internally that she was stopped by someone, keeping her from coming back to him. It seems they were having a deep conversation at first, but suddenly the man cracks a smile and a joke that makes her cover her mouth in respectful laughter.

Katsuki's annoyance is cut through at her wholehearted display of emotions. The entire night, he's been complaining about how much he hates everyone here, but it's only now he realizes how relaxed she looks in the entire situation. She's completely in her element; he'd get easily drained by all the suffocating small talk, but her? She thrives off this, she gains energy from it. Although she comes home late, overworked and tired, she still faces every day with a smile on her face. She makes it look so easy to talk to people, striking up and following conversations with everyone in the most endearing and poised way possible.

Katsuki smiles to himself, warmth washing over him. Yes, just like his mom, but it makes his girlfriend all the more stunning and admirable in his eyes.

His girlfriend finally returns to the table, her recently-acquired glass already half empty. "What did I miss?" she asks, buzzing with both energy and alcohol.

Katsuki leans his head on his palm. "Nothing much." He's still basking in the glow of his wonderful girlfriend, casually sipping his own wine absently.

She turns towards the clearing in the center of the room and takes his free hand. "Let's go dance, babe!"

Any other time, Katsuki would have sternly declined, but he can't resist her today. Without a single complaint, he rises and lets her drag him by their entwined hands to the dance floor. Guiding his large hand around her waist as her one hand plants to his shoulder, she raises their joined hands and starts swaying them to the classic orchestral ensemble's upbeat performance.

The man doesn't know if it's the overwhelming feeling of pride he recently uncovered, or the way their bodies press together gently as he inhales her floral perfume, but he can't find the words to describe everything he wants to say. He settles on simply smiling warmly down at her as he whispers, "You're amazing, you know that?"

His girlfriend's cheeks flush and she erupts into giggles. "What's with the sudden compliment?"

He shakes his head. "I just realized it, that's all. Just like my mom."

"You sure are a Mama's boy, aren't you?"

He scoffs at the idea. "I love the old hag, but I'll never tell her that. Besides, I'd say I'm whipped for a different woman in my life." He brushes hair behind her ear, her earring glinting against the light, and places a kiss on her perfect temple. "You look stunning tonight."

His girlfriend's eyes close in half-lidded affection. "I'm sorry this isn't the perfect date night you wanted."

The blond leans his forehead on her's, slowing their pace to allow time to pass much more leisurely around them. "I get to dance with you, I think that's a definite win."

"I guess so."

Katsuki comes to realize that he can be forced to come to all of these events. All that matters is his enchanting lover and her smile. When the night is over, he can't wait to let her take her heels off and carry her bridal style to their car as everyone watches in envy and awe. He'd let her recline and rest her weary feet, telling her stories of his adventures of night outings with his mom to lull her to sleep in his passenger seat. And then he'd carry her sleeping figure up to their bedroom and wake her gently so she can clean herself up and change into her cute pajamas, just so they can cuddle in each other's warmth until they fall asleep.

Maybe he's not a Mama's boy anymore. More like he's a Lover's boy.

#Bakugou x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou fluff #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #female reader #bakugou imagine #bakugou scenario #mha bakugou #bnha bakugou #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

609 notes · View notes

missnxthingg · 4 years

Note

hiii, loved your last angst request! could you maybe write one where the reader and peter were best friends, and they both like each other, but are too shy to tell the other, and after something happened between them, they grow apart but they are still habouring feelings for the other? i don't know if you understood it haha

A/N: Uhmm, I think I understood your request, but I don’t know if this is what you wanted. I created the whole story based on what you liked, but created a whole new thing out of my head, aaaand I hope you like it!

Words: 6.7K

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, angsttt, and some fluff in the end.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Best Friend!Reader

masterlist | main blog | gif source

IT WAS JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING

It was six o’clock when your alarm woke you up, and it’s been a long time since you last got up this early. One of the perks of being on vacation was to wake you at any time you wanted to, but now that it was over, that meant that you needed to start waking up early again. It wasn’t something you liked, but after this month home, you need to start doing things you don’t really like. For example, you took your shower and got ready for school just like you always did, and while you were finishing packing everything you needed for classes, you heard a knock on the door.

“Good morning darling.” Your mom got her own head inside your room and smiled.

“Morning mum.” You smiled back and finished packing your stuff.

“I’m so sorry my love, but I have to leave earlier today and can’t make coffee for you, or lunch. But there’s money over the couch so you can buy something to eat.”

“Okay, thanks mum.”

“Hey, but maybe you could find Peter to have lunch with you today.” Your chest ached at those words, hearing his name still was very difficult for you.

“Mom, I told you that I’m not friends with Peter anymore.”

“I know darling, it’s just… I miss you too together.”

“I miss it too, but we have to deal with the fact that he’s not my friend anymore and won’t ever be again.”

“Don’t say such thing.”

“It’s the truth mom. But I’m sure I can get MJ, or maybe Betty to have lunch with me. Don’t worry, honestly.” She gave me a sympathetic smile and waved goodbye.

“Bye, my dear. And I promise we’ll make a nice dinner to repay you today.”

“Okay, see you later mom.”

Not having you mom to do you breakfast was something you used to like a lot. That meant you had to find somewhere else to eat, which meant breakfast at the Parker’s apartment, or maybe the same old coffee shop across the street you used to go with your best friend since you both started high school. But now things were different, and you didn’t have anyone to have breakfast with.

It didn’t take long until you were out on the street, glancing at the two coffee shops you knew. On your left, the one where they had good coffee, but it was too expensive and wasn’t worth all that amount of money. On you right, the one you were used to always go with Peter, but after the fight you two had, you didn’t feel like going in there right now. And you still could remember the last time you had breakfast together.

You woke up excited that day, knowing it was the last day of classes and that later you would have a party to go to with you friends. The first thing you always do in the morning is checking your phone for texts or anything, and there were many of them. One from your father wishing a good day at school, one from MJ trying to start a debate on a book you were both reading, one from Betty wanting to know what you were going to wear for the party, but only one caught your attention and made you smile.

Pete: “Hey, good morning! May isn’t driving me to school today, so breakfast on the coffee shop? My treat.”

You: “Good morning Pete. Of course! How could I deny free coffee?”

One good thing about living in the same building as your best friend is how easily you could go down two store by the fire escape on your bedroom window, and meet them at their apartment. And today you decided to go with a beautiful black dress that made you feel so comfortable and pretty at the same time. Today had everything to be a very awesome day. You knocked on Peter’s window and he opened up in seconds, smiling right after he saw who was it.

“Morning dumbass.” You greeted with a smile and he helped you come inside.

“Morning.” He kissed the top of your head and watched you fix your dress. “Wearing a dress for school, that’s new.”

“I’m trying new things today. And also I want today to be a very good day. We have a party to get to and our last day as sophomores. It’s gonna be awesome.”

“Chill, (Y/N). It’s just an ordinary day.”

“Yeah, but nothing is gonna break my day.” He smiled of how cheerful she was being, and pulled you into a side hug.

“Come on, we’re gonna be late if we don’t hurry up.”

You two sat by the same booth in the same old coffee shop, turning on the building you live and letting the good coffee scent fill you. Peter ordered your coffee, just because he knew your regular by heart, just like you knew his. It didn’t take long until he took the seat in front of you, with a small grin on his face, pushing the coffee towards you. For a second, you could take him in, just because know you had the time. He was wearing the blue flannel you gave him once just because you thought it would look pretty on him, and he had shaved, considering that it was just yesterday when you said he needed to do it, because his facial hair was starting to look gross on him. But the way he focused on adding only one teaspoon of sugar on his coffee, and two on yours just how you liked it made him look even cuter than usual.

“Why are you staring at me with a smile?” He furrowed his eyebrows and you smiled widder.

“I’m just glad to be here with you. Thank you for the coffee, Pete.”

“Anytime, (Y/NN).”

Now when you think about turning right every morning, you turn left, going inside the other coffee shop. It was much emptier, and it smelled different, and felt different. It didn’t feel like home at all. It wasn’t a place where you had memories and cherished them so much, and somehow it would always draw you back there. But it’s a new start, and you needed to make the new coffee shop feel like home. You now sat at the table by the window, and you opted on drinking tea instead of coffee. New habits, they suck! But they are necessary, and that’s why you’re doing it. But it doesn’t warm your heart up like coffee, and drinking it alone makes you feel so lonely, more than you ever felt in your life. But you were positive that today was going to be okay, and you would make everything to be sure it would.

So you took the subway, just like any other ordinary day, and soon enough, you got out of Queens and were in front of Midtown High, watching everyone meet again with their friends, sharing exciting stories about their time away. You never did it on first days, just because you usually met with you friends all summer, but this time you didn’t, and you didn’t have any friends to go to and talk about your days away from that place. You wanted someone to talk about how changing was, but you didn’t have anyone you trusted enough to let them listen to you rambling for long. The only person you had was the one that made you want to change.

Instead of meeting Peter and Ned by the parking lot behind school, you went straight to your locker and organized your stuff before class started. Everyone was talking excitedly on the halls, and you still managed to listen to all of it without crying for feeling so lonely. So you put on your earphones and walked quickly to class, sitting in the back, where you used to sit with Peter.

“It’s because I can see everything that’s happening around me from back here, that’s why I sit in the back.” You used to say to him when he questioned why you like to sit in the back so much.

You watched the classroom fill with familiar faces, none interested enough to talk to you. Soon, some more familiar faces started to appear. Betty got inside holding Ned’s hand, since they started dating and since your fight with Peter, she stopped talking to you, just because Peter was Ned’s best friend, and this was an act of loyalty for her boyfriend and his friends. But she gave you a small smile, which you ignored, since you like to show very clearly when you were upset with someone. MJ came in right after, just being the same old MJ. She said hi to you, which you said back, and sat in front of you. She’s always been nice to you, and you worked a lot together in projects, but never been that close, even though she knows too much about your life.

It was almost when the bell rang when Peter came in. He looked different, but still the same. He was wearing the same old jeans May gave him for his birthday, but today he was wearing a new blouse, a dark gray one, that popped the necklace you gave him a long time ago, and somehow, he didn’t take off, even after all of that time. He’d let his hair grow a little bit and maybe he was a bit taller? Your eyes met with his, and you both froze, not knowing what to do. He pressed his lips together, waiting for a response, but you looked away, glancing down to your own notebook, where you wrote “be fucking strong, or else…”.

Seeing Peter again brought back so many happy memories, that the progress you had on forgetting about him over the summer went to space once you laid your eyes on him, not paying one second of attention to class all day. The only thing you wanted to do was jump on his embrace and tell him you were sorry, but still, what you were sorry for? He was the one who ruined everything at that party. You didn’t need to feel sorry at all.

You were almost ready for the party. You and Betty had agreed that today was going to be epic, and that today was the day you both were going to confess your feelings for your crushes. So she suggested that you both dressed up nicely, and took a shot of courage (tequila) and spilled it out. She chose what you were going to wear, which was a tight black skirt and a lace bodysuit, with a denim jacket over it. Totally sexy, and would be good enough to impress a guy like Peter. Even though you knew that he was a simple guy and wouldn’t need much to impress him, but you wanted to feel sexier, so you could feel more confident.

“Is this hot enough, Pete?” You asked the boy sitting in your living room watching an episode of a cartoon he liked, when his eyes focused on you, widening and making him choke.

“Very hot indeed. Why are you dressed up like this?”

“To impress someone. Also, to cause chock on everyone there, just like I choke you.”

“Well, you’re doing a good work.” He nodded and you laughed.

“I just need to apply some lipgloss and I’m ready.” You said returning to your bedroom and he followed you there.

“Can I know who are you trying to impress?”

“Nope.” You popped your mouth on the end of the word and glanced at him. Thank God, you were an extremely good actress, and wouldn’t give anything away “Just some guy I’ve been wanting to kiss for a long time, but don’t worry Pete, I’ll always be yours.”

“You better be.” He smiled and glanced at your neck from the mirror, seeing you were wearing the necklace matching his. “And yeah, I think I’ll also ask Liz if she’d kiss me.”

You turned around, furrowing your brows at him. You never knew that Peter ever wanted to kiss Liz Allen, a senior that just graduated and would go away very soon. A tiny bit of jealousy hit you like a train. Even though you would deny it until death, it still was Peter’s name carved into your heart. That completely shattered your plan on making a move on him You knew you weren’t going to work out, that’s why you shoved those feelings deep inside you, never letting them pop out eventually, but still, it was undeniable that your heart races every time he’s around.

“I didn’t know you liked Liz Allen.”

“I kind of do, for a long time now. I mean, she’s pretty, and she’s moving away in a month, so this might be the last time I get to kiss her.”

“You should go for it.” It hurt you to say that, but you knew you couldn’t hold him back, it’s his life and you couldn’t hold him back. “I mean, I can’t see the point why a girl would turn you down Pete, you’re amazing.”

“No, I’m not. I’m just a dorky nerd that fantasizes about having something with the most beautiful and popular girl in school.” That stinked like alcohol over an opened bruise.

“Peter, you’re the most amazing and beautiful guy I’ve ever met. If she turns you down, that means she’s an idiot and doesn’t deserve you.” You rested you hand over his chest and he pulled you into a hug.

“I love you, you’re the best friend in the world.” It took you a second, but you threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“I love you too Pete, so much.” He kissed the top of her head and pulled her by the hand.

“Come on, May’s waiting for us downstairs.”

May was always like a second mom to you, and always found a way to make you smile. She was listening to some old disco songs while waiting for us. She drove us to the party listening to hits like Super Freak or Boogie Wonderland, and singing to it with all of her lungs. You loved when she did it, and sang along with her to some songs you knew the lyrics to. But you were more excited about getting to the party.

Flash Thompson might be a pain in the ass and a show-off, but he really knew how to throw a party. It was awesome, with good songs playing, lots of foods and drinks, and nice people. Everyone in school was there, including Liz Allen, a senior, the hottest girl in school and, unfortunately, Peter’s crush. He smiled at her when their eyes crossed and the jealousy said hi to you again, making your hand tighten your grip around Peter’s hand. You were relieved when you met with MJ and Ned, glad they would be an ice breaker and that you had your best friends there to have fun with you.

“MJ, I loved your dress.” She smiled at you. Sometimes MJ knew how to be more opened to people.

“Thank you (Y/N).”

“Ned, I told you to get rid of the hat.” Peter said to his best friend and (Y/N) made an angry face to him in disapproval.

“Shut up Peter. Ned the hat is great, keep it on.”

“Do you think Betty will like it, (Y/N)?” He asked with a sparkle on his eyes.

“I’m sure she will Ned. Now I’m gonna go talk to her.” You pointed at the blond girl talking with Harry Osborn in the corner and smiling at you, catching your attention. “Excuse me.”

“Hey (Y/N), you look super hot! Loved the outfit! And I’m sure you’re gonna break hearts tonight.“ She smiled at you once you approached.

“The only heart I wanna break tonight belongs to Liz Allen. But I’ll find something else to do. Anyway, say nice things about Ned’s hat when you go over to talk to him. He’s really hoping you like it.”

“He is?” Her eyes sparkled and you laughed.

“Oh God, I hate when people are in love.” You turned to the table full of drinks and prepared yourself a gin and tonic just to get you started.

“Says the girl who’s been in love with Peter Parker her whole life.” She spilled and you choked. “And you know, I don’t think he really likes Liz."

“Of course he likes her. She's… perfect.” You sipped your drink and looked to Liz dancing with some friends, being totally flawless

“Come on (Y/N). You know I’m a very observant person, and nobody can hide anything from me. You should make a move.”

“Well, I won’t, because he likes Liz.” You turned to her. “Also, we’d never work, he’s my best friend. He knows me like the palm of his hand.“

“Exactly.” You rolled your eyes and walked away, leaving Betty alone.

“Not something I want to discuss tonight Betty. I’m already hurt enough. But maybe I’ll find something fun to do.” You glanced to Harry Osborn having a drink all across the room, and smiled to him. “Or someone to do.”

You walked to towards him, and he somehow noticed your staring and smiled back, waiting for you to arrive and talk to him

“Harry… It’s so nice to see you here! Didn’t know that those from the Upper East Side hanged around the suburbs.“ You smiled confidently and he shrugged.

“I don’t mind hanging around here, (Y/N). And you look so pretty tonight.” He smiled and pulled you by the waist. Harry was one of the prettiest guys in school, and every girl wanted him, but not everyone could get him. He was very reserved, but somehow, he was always opened to you.

“Does that mean I don’t look pretty the other days?” You played and he shook his head no.

“Of course not, you always look pretty.” You blushed at what he was saying. “Hey, wanna see the beautiful view from Flash’s balcony?”

“I’d love to.” You followed him around, not before looking around for Peter, regretting it ths moment you saw he was on his way to talk to Liz. That hurt, a lot. You knew that this night would be a game changer on any sort of relationship you hoped to have with Peter, but you went on with Harry.

Harry Osborn was really pretty. His dark locks were dreamy, and his smile was perfect, also, he was a real gentleman. He always knew what to do to make a girl fall for him, but still there was something missing in him and you knew exactly what it was. He wasn’t Peter. Even though you tried to deny it, he was all you could think about, but right now, all you wanted was to have fun, and if you didn’t go get some with Harry, you would have to watch the love of your life after the girl he actually likes, which is not you.

When you last saw it coming, and after two drinks or maybe a bit more, you were sitting in Harry’s lap on a bench in the corner of Flash’s balcony, making out with him in the dark. He was a good kisser, maybe the best kiss you ever had, but still, just like before, there was something missing. But in that moment, was all you needed. Once you two were tired enough, you got out of his lap and pulled him to the dancefloor. You both danced together for a long time, to every song Flash played, and everything was going great. Harry had his body glued behind you, and his mouth was kissing your neck while you swayed to the song. But your eyes opened for a moment and met with Peter kissing Liz intensely by the food table. Your whole world dropped, and suddenly you weren’t enjoying yourself anymore.

“Excuse me, I need one more drink.” You said to Harry, walking up to the drink and making another gin and tonic, which you knew you get you much more drunker than you already were. It’s a strong drink and you knew it, but you drank it anyway, which resulted on you vomiting on Flash’s equipment, ruining the music and in consequence, the whole party. Betty helped you get out of there and found the closest bathroom to help you.

“Say something that will cheer me up Betty.” You asked her and she smiled.

“I have a date with Ned.” You smiled weakly, happy for your friend.

“All I wanted was Peter liking me back.” She caressed your cheek and nodded.

“If you want to, we can talk about it when you’re sober.” A knock on the door interrupted their conversation.

“Betty, it’s Peter, I wanna talk to her.” You nodded, letting her open the door, getting out so he could talk to you. “(Y/N), what were you thinking?”

“I’m sorry Pete, I didn’t mean to get this drunk.”

“No, I mean. Harry Osborn, really?” He furrowed his eyebrows and locked the bathroom door. “I thought you had at least some loyalty to me. You know, I can’t stand him.”

“Well, you were with Liz, so why does it matter? I don’t like her either.” You rolled your eyes and leaned against the wall behind you.

“Still, it shouldn’t be Harry there, it’s just… wrong.” He leaned against the sink and you sighed.

“Why is it so wrong to be with him while you’re out there sucking some other girls face? You like Liz, and I like Harry, so that’s it.”

“Why him?” He asked.

“Why her?”

“That’s not fair, you know I like Liz.” He threw back and you gasped.

“What? I didn’t fucking know until today Peter. You kept something from me, and I stayed quiet. So you don’t get to say a fucking thing about what I did. And you know, if you’re not here to help, maybe you should go away.”

“Yeah, maybe I should.” He said, opening the door.

“And don’t fucking worry, Parker. I’m sure there’s people that care about me that will make sure I get home okay.”

“Good.” He shot back and you didn’t see him again that night.

“Miss (Y/L/N), can you answer this question for me?” The math teacher asked, getting you out of the transe you got into.

“X equals 0, and Y equals 1.”

“Wrong, we’re not even in that exercise. Pay attention to the class, miss.”

“Sorry sir.” He nodded, turning to Peter, sitting in the front.

“And you, Mr. Parker. Can you answer the question miss (Y/L/N) didn’t get right?” Peter shot his head up to the board and thought about it for a little bit.

“The limit does not exist.” He answered and the teacher rolled his eyes.

“Quoting Mean Girls is not getting the answer correctly, Mr. Parker. And I don’t know what kind of problem you and (Y/N) have, but I’m very pissed that you’re not even listening to me.”

“Sorry sir, it won’t happen again.” He answered and the teacher nodded, continuing with the class.

Lunch was harder than the rest of the day. You decided to eat alone, since no one talked to you all day. During that time, your book was your best friend, still, you couldn’t pay much attention to it. Somehow, your attention was always brought to Peter having a great time with Ned, who had his arms around Betty’s neck, and MJ, who even dropped her book to laugh with the rest of the group. You missed them, and still, it was sad to know that they didn’t talk to you anymore just because of Peter.

For the first time after a long while, you felt the urge to cry your heart out, and that’s what you did. You skipped the rest of classes, hiding yourself at the parking lot where you used to skip class with Peter and Ned, to curl up and have a good cry. Things turned upside down just because of a kiss, and if you could go back to that night, you would just rather had stayed home to have some pizza with your parents, May and Peter, and maybe have a board game session with them. Everything would be fine now.

You remembered every moment with him, putting your whole heart out through tears and finally giving up on them once you felt too tired and lied down on the floor and slept over your backpack. You hated when you cried so hard you felt the urge to sleep, and it was stronger than you. Suddenly, you were dancing in your dreams, with Peter watching you with those beautiful brown eyes.

“(Y/N), wake up.” Somebody shook your body, and you could recognize Ned’s voice. “Why did you sleep right in the middle of the parking lot?”

“I just felt like it.” You shot your eyes opened and sat straight again. You look up, and saw that Ned wasn’t alone, and Peter was a few steps behind him, but not looking directly to you, which made your heart sink even more.

“Were you crying?” He asked and you shook your head no.

“No, it’s just… I didn’t sleep last night, and this is the only place I know I can ditch and don’t get caught.” You shot your eyes to Peter, and right now he was looking at you, but pretending not to care.

“Are you really okay?” Ned asked again and you nodded.

“Yeah, I think I’ll just head home. Thank you for caring, Ned.“

It was easier to walk away now, and to not expect something from Peter, but you still had to be very brave to do it. You stood strong, but couldn’t wait to get home and die over your bed. It was something you used to do when everything went down, and you remember your mom coming in one day, so worried about you, and you two shared a talk that really helped you.

“I can’t believe I fucked up this badly with Pete, mom. I saw things ruining out of my plans, and fucked it up.”

“I know that’s not true, but you felt like it, and I know it hurts you so much now. But you’re not alone, even if you feel like it right now. You have so many people that love you, and that including Peter. Maybe he just needs some time to see it.” She caressed your hair and you smiled.

“I hope it’s soon mom.”

“Yeah, me too.”

But again, that day, you cried yourself to sleep again, maybe a little bit too early, but still you did it, going to bed without a single thing to eat. Your parents went off to some dinner with friends and you stayed home alone, and that gave you time to just be alone for a while. But you were woken up late at night with some knocks on your window. You looked over and a masked figure was standing in your fire escape. You rolled out of bed and sat by the window, opening it up.

“(Y/N), help me.” Spider Man had his hands over his stomach and his voice was weak.

“Peter, what the fuck!” You pulled him inside and helped him lie in your bed. “What happened?”

“I have a really bad bruise on my stomach. Was too distracted.” He leaned back and got his hands off the wound, letting some blood spill.”

“Stay still, I’ll get my first aid kit.”

You ran to get your kit, and returned in the blink of an eye, finding Peter almost passed out in pain, now without his mask on. You removed his suit with a single press on the spider on his chest, leaving him only with his underwear. You cleaned the blood and saw that the wound wasn’t too deep, but needed some stitches. You learned how to do it over time, just to help him. You’d stay up through many nights worrying about Peter, and sometimes he’d sleep over just because he was too bruised to go home. It didn’t matter what he did or how mad you were at him, if he came to you for help, you would do anything for him.

“You never get distracted.” You told him while you were piercing his skin with stitches. There were times where he’d hold your arms with strength to try to control the pain. Tonight, he has holding your sheets tightly.

"The guy was too strong.” He breathed out when you finished stitching him up. “And he had a knife, but I took him down. He’s not gonna bother anyone again.”

“What kind of bad guy was he?” You asked, aa you used to do every night he came over for some nursing.

“Mobster kind of bad guy. I’ve been trying to take him down for a month now.” He adjusted himself in your bed and you helped him remove the rest of his suit. He finally took a good look at you, analyzing every detail of your body now that he wasn’t blinded in pain. You had dark circles under your eyes, and they were puffy and slightly red. You were wearing one of Peter’s hoodies, that you loved to use with only your panties over it. His right hand reached for your hand and he caressed it.

“Peter, why are you here?” You asked, finally trying to get a answer to the questions that’s been on your head since the knock on your window.

“You were crying today.” He said, glancing down to his hand, drawing circles on the back of your hand. Even though he was the reason you cried all day, he still managed to calm you down only with his touch. You shut your eyes closed for a second, but soon they shot open, and you looked away.

“So?” You furrowed your brows, and pulled your hand away from his grip.

“I worry about you.” He said, a little upset that she was pulling away from him.

“Since when?” You let out a laugh, but the angry kind of laugh.

“Since always.” He shot back almost immediately.

“It didn’t seem like you care. It’s been a while since you last directly looked me in the eyes. And still, you don’t seem like you can look me in the eyes.”

Peter took a second to look around the room. It was different from the last time he was there. The picture wall you used to have with photos with all of your friends was gone. It only had some post-its with notes, lost in the now white wall. He noticed that you weren’t as organized as you used to be. Sometimes, he’d climb up to your bedroom to hang out and ended up teasing you about being too organized. But now your books weren’t organized by color, or by genre. And there were clothes all over your room, your bed wasn’t made, and you had notebooks opened all over your desk. But there’s still one thing that hasn’t changed. The small Spiderman action figure over her desk.

“Why now Peter?”

“I wanted to talk about that party.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. You were with Liz, and I was with Harry, and honestly, I think you are pretty happy now with her.”

“What? I never dated Liz. We made out once, and that’s it.”

“I thought you liked her.” You whispered, almost praying for Peter to not listen, but he did. Oh, he always found a way to capture your voice.

“I did.” He paused, and glanced at her, who was now looking down to her hands, being held by his. “Well, I thought I did. But there was always something missing, and I didn’t know what it was.”

“You know, what you said to me that night really fucking broke me, Peter.” You broke into tears, and tried to wipe it with your only free hand, since he couldn’t let the other go. “I thought you had my back, and I was so drunk. I only hoped that you would have helped me, but Betty was the one who got me home.”

“I’m sorry. I was so blind by jealousy.” He let some tears escape like you, but now he couldn’t look at you anymore. Peter prefered to glance down to her hands full of rings, including the one he stole from May when they were little just to give it to her. She was always wearing it. He touched it and smiled. “Hey, look at the ring."

"Why were you jealous?” She ignored him, even if her emotions were all over the place

“Because all you did that night was to impress Harry, and I hate his guts. I wish you were there to have fun for yourself, and maybe hang out with me.” He glanced up and was now staring at her soaking face.

“And just because of that, you completely shut me off your life?"

"I did it to try to forget about you. And honestly, it never worked, and I thought that maybe I would try fixing things up now that we were back in school, but I got so hurt tonight.” He glanced down to his belly, and she touched his bandaged wound. “Baby, I saw so many bad things tonight, and I really thought I was gonna die before talking to you ever again.”

You froze at the nickname. He never called you baby, except for the times he had woken up extremely flirty, which happened sometimes. But tonight it was different, and it was like he really meant it. Maybe it’s because it was the first time he ever called you something cute in months.

“I was almost passing out in pain once the guy stabbed me, and all I could think about was you. If I had died there, I would be gone and you would never know how much I love you."Your heart ached, and warmed up at the same time. You wanted to kiss and slap him. But all you did was let go off his hands and stand up, walking away from the bed.

"If you love me so much as you say, why did you say those things to me that night? Why did you leave me there alone, vomited and crying? You try to hide behind your jealousy Peter, but you know that’s not gonna work with me.”

“I deeply regret doing that, cross my heart.” He stood up, so he could be in the same level as you. You crossed your arms and looked outside the window. Anywhere, but his eyes. “And I was the biggest idiot ever to even leave you there, all alone. But I was so hurt that I didn’t even want to look at you.”

“How did I hurt you that night Peter?” You finally looked back to him and he was only wearing his underwear, his suit sitting on your bed. And God, how much you missed that body, even though you never really had it. His eyes were blood red, and some tears were forming on his water line.

“Because you fucking made out with Harry Osborn!” He shot angrily, and sat down in bed again.

“You were with Liz! You had someone, I had someone. Big deal…”

“It’s a big deal to me, because it shouldn’t be Harry there, it should have been me.” His statement made you shut up and try to process everything. You leaned back into your desk and rested one hand over your chest, which was pretty sure about to explode. “God, (Y/N)… Do you know for how long I’ve been in love with you? And seeing you with him was the most heartbreakful thing in the world. Not because it was him, because after a long time I realized it could have been anyone in his place, I would have reacted the same.” You were speechless, trying to come up with a reply, but all you wanted was to take in everything he was saying.

“So why didn’t you make a move on me first? Why didn’t you kiss me that night Peter?” He sighed and looked down to his hands, fidgeting his fingers over his knees.

“Because you said in this very room that you were trying to impress someone, and in my mind, it could have been me, but I wasn’t sure. But I woke up that day hoping I’d finally kiss you in the party. I looked for you, everywhere, but when I found you, well… Let’s just say you were strandling Harry’s lap, and I was pretty sure you were having sex right there by the moviments you were doing.” You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“You really thought that was the way I was going to lose my virginity? Please…” You sighed and approached the bed again, sitting in front of him. He now finally looked at you, but not directly to your face. “And you know one thing Peter, I only got with Harry because before we left this very place, you said you were going to try kissing Liz Allen. When I saw you talking to her at that party, I thought my plan had gone to shit! And Harry was there, making a nice conversation with me, and we hooked up. Big fucking deal! When I got back you were making out with Liz anyway. And that’s why I got trashed in first place.” You pointed your index finger at him, spilling everything out for once.

“I only kissed her because you kissed him. I never really wanted it. I mean, she’s pretty and for a while I had a crush on her, but this was so many years ago. You were the only person in my mind ever since we met, and once freshman year was ending, I realized you were the one I truly liked.”

“This is such a bunch of misunderstanding! You never communicate! You could have come talk to me the next morning, but you prefered to completely ignore me the whole summer.”

“I was really focused on getting that guy. I was so busy with my Spider duties. But now it’s over, I realize I only did it to keep you out my mind, and it didn’t work. And I don’t want to fight anymore, because I’m so hurt, in every single way. What happened tonight was horrible and all I wanted was to hold you.” He hugged his legs and hide his face there.

Now’s the time you have to be strong, and put all your principles and pride behind to support the one you love the most, and now that you knew that he loved you back, it hurted even more. You had some stuff to get through, but now you had to just be with him. So you sat closer and rested one hand on his shoulder, making him look up almost immediately, face soaking and red eyes. You moved your hand to his cheek and caressed it.

“We need to talk more about that night. And I needed to get it all off my chest. But right now, I need you to be alright.” He rested his face against your hand and closed his eyes, giving a small kiss on your palm. He sat straight and you sat on his lap, pulling him in your embrace, resting his head on your chest, and you resting your chin over his head.

“I’m so so so sorry baby.” He whispered. “I’m sorry for everything. I missed you so much! I love you.” That’s what he wanted to say to you all night, and you let him. Right now, you couldn’t be mad at him. Maybe later…

“I love you too.” You kissed to top of his head and he tightened his grip around your waist. “Come on, let’s get some sleep, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

You got out of his lap and lied in bed, under the covers. Peter lied behind you and pulled you closer to be the little spoon. In that moment both of you knew it was going to be alright. You only needed to talk some stuff through. But when the other needed you the most, there’s nothing you wouldn’t do to make them better.

…………………

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#peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker imagine fluff #peter parker fanfic #peter parker fanfic fluff #peter parker fluff #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x reader #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #marvel #spiderman #mcu

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auroraawrites · 4 years

Text

hidden scars (harry potter x sister!reader)

requested by anon: Can you please write a request about Harry who has a sister who has a panic attack as a result of the war (its post war) and he comforts her? She’s also dating Neville but he doesn’t necessarily have to be physically there in the request. If panic attacks are hard to write that’s okay

warnings: discusses and describes a panic attack, lots of angst and talks of death. please if you need help, reach out to someone! don’t keep things bottled inside

author’s note: thank you to the anon who requested this! i hope i did it justice :)

---

it was a tuesday morning when your eyes snapped open, breaths coming out in shallow gasps as you tried to dismiss the already fleeting dream out of mind. it had been the same dream that had replayed over and over, every night since the battle. voldemort’s cold laughter. flashes of green light. bodies spewed across the ground everywhere you looked. turning your head, you took in the sleeping figure beside you, neville’s slow, deep breaths reminding you of the present and warming your heart. he was real. this was real. you were safe.

careful as if to not disturb the sleeping neville beside you, you slipped out of bed and tiptoed out of the room, grabbing a pair of neville’s pyjama pants and pulling them on as you went. striding into the kitchen, you grabbed the ingredients for scrambled eggs and bacon out of the refrigerator and got started cracking eggs into a large metal frying pan over the stove. somehow, you found it more therapeutic to cook the mundane way since the war had ended, the sizzling of the eggs and bacon reminding keeping you grounded in reality.

hearing the neville’s footsteps coming down the stairs, you beckoned him forwards, pressed a quick peck on to his lips, and gestured to the eggs and bacon that now filled two plates, “i can’t stay long today. i’m going to visit harry and ginny remember?” sitting across the dining table from him, you shot him a smile as you took your first bite of the eggs.

“are you sure you don’t want me to come?” neville asked, a flicker of concern passing over his features.

shaking your head, you took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, “don’t worry about me. poor ginny can’t handle anymore people in her current state. i heard harry’s giving her enough trouble as it is, not letting her even walk down the stairs by herself. honestly, my brother’s really too much sometimes.”

finishing the remainder of the meal discussing neville’s plans to leave the ministry to teach at hogwarts, you were soon flitting about your bedroom getting ready to leave. flattening out the creases in your blouse, you kissed neville goodbye and stepped into the fireplace. you wiggled your fingers in a final farewell and disappeared in a great burst of flames.

---

stepping into the familiar living room of your brother’s home, you were suddenly greeted by the sight of a slightly overdue red haired woman hurrying towards you, her arms wrapping around your neck and pulling you in for a bone crushing hug. “hello ginny.” you say in a slightly breathy voice, trying to draw air into your lungs.

pulling away, you greeted harry with a one armed hug, you eyes straying back to ginny and her rounded tummy, “and how’s my little albus doing?” you ask, rubbing your hand around her belly in a loving manner.

“he’s kicking like a little tyke, that’s what,” ginny said sounding both exasperated and loving at the same time. laughing, you pulled her into another hug as you entered further into the home.

the hours seemed to fly by as you sat with ginny, helping her fold baby clothes and organize albus’ room to her liking. obviously happy to have someone with her other than harry, ginny seemed to chatter on forever, only stopping to ask you if you could fetch her a box of toys from the attic. promising to be back soon, you head off in the direction of the attic, pulling down the ladder with a wave of your wand and making your way up into the dusty room.

keeping your head low as to avoid knocking your head against the low ceiling you made your way towards a box marked ‘toys’, a sudden choking feeling clawing up your throat as you caught sight of the photograph that lay beside it. the sirius, harry, and you from the photograph waved back, all three mouths pulled up into smiles. shudders were making their way down your back as you fought the tears that threatened to slip down your face, a tentative hand reaching out to pick up the dusty photograph.

the action seemed to have triggered a sudden loss of breath, one that was so sudden that you felt as if you were dying. your brain was mentally screaming for your lungs to open but it felt as if someone had sewn them shut. legs giving out from underneath you, the photo that had once been grasped slightly in your hands skidded away, face down against the floor. distantly, you could hear the sound of ginny’s voice calling to you from the hallway, but her voice grew fainter with every word as you continued to sit there, attempting to draw air into your lungs. you were going to die. this was it.

you could feel yourself shaking, your trembling fingers carving messy paths against the dusted floor. air flowed in through your mouth but failed to pass into your lungs and you had the distinct impression that you probably looked like a fish on dry land. the sounds of your short gasps mixed with that of the blood rushing through your ears and all of a sudden you felt lightheaded, black spots looming in the corner field of your vision.

what was happening to you? had the photograph been cursed?

thundering footsteps echoed through the hallway, and you saw a head poke out from the door to the attic. still struggling to breath, you watched as harry clambered up the ladder and threw himself beside you, a comforting hand drawing circles against your back, “deep breaths y/n. take a deep breath in, hold it for three seconds, and let it back out slowly,” he instructed.

the tears that you had attempted to keep at bay earlier were now freely flowing down your cheeks. following harry’s soothing instructions, you attempted to take control of your breathing. slowly, the world came into focus and the sounds of ginny’s worried pacing could be heard from the hallway once more. your shaking had begun to subside, the occasional twitch of your hand and hitch in your breathing serving as a reminder for what had just taken place.

turning to harry, you wrapped your arms around his with a small hiccup, his arms still drawing soothing circles on your back as you hugged him tighter towards you, “it’s going to be okay,” he whispered into your hair. “we’re going to get through this. together.”

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter oneshot #harry potter imagine #neville longbottom #neville longbottom x reader #oneshots #imagine #panic attack #tw #angst #sister #ginny weasley

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leanarg · 4 years

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Practice Challenge II

((Hi again! So, these are 3 fics in one post! Including my first two rps with @ladyreggiewright (our very first one after ages not doing this so asdfghk) and with @wylan-caldwell I had so much fun doing both, so thank you, guys! <3 Thanks for reading too, hope you enjoy them as much as I stuggled writing them ;P Google Docs link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ARTjqveFJ1njDc2LL0PU4C0ShN2jlO9JC1Imt9MDTh8/edit?usp=sharing ))

A CHANGE OF LUCK

“Alright, y’all ready?” Rita said with a loud voice vibrating with nervousness. “The speeches are over. In the next block, Prince Arin will be picking the names.” That was her fifth lap around the entertainment office floor and she just couldn’t stop repeating what Vandy Post had already announced before each round of commercials. I knew she was trying to act authoritative, but seeing her in this state was always amusing.

It wasn’t unusual that the building was bursting with energy this late at night. The pre-press team always stayed working on putting together the bulldog broadsheets content and adding the last details, then sent the whole thing before the deadline to the press team operating on the last floor, where they were all in charge of the printing process. I would dare to say there was activity in this place 24/7. But this particular night, we were focused on The Report. The streets looked almost empty from up here, everyone was at home in front of their TV waiting for the names of the lucky girls randomly picked by a drawing of names out of different crystal boxes. 35 provinces, 35 boxes, 35 names.

My attention had been focused on Arin’s stern expression. His life was about to be decided by fate, or as many people want to call it, destiny. I wonder what was he thinking, standing there expressionless, willing to uphold his duty.

Is he excited? Is he nervous? Is he wishing he could run away from that room and leave all this tradition behind?

My name was inside of one of the boxes, so I should had been even more anxious and edgy than Rita herself, but, after the PET Gala fiasco, where: I hadn’t gotten the clues I was so close to getting, I hadn’t finished the job I was supposed to be doing and my one month salary had been reduced to half; I was certain that whoever was in charge of my luck was not very fond of me.

“They are back!” Rita shouted as soon as Arin’s face reappeared. Everyone in the room fell silent. I scoffed a laugh when I noticed them unconsciously leaning slightly towards the big tv, but I ended up doing the same after adjusting my glasses. One by one the basic information of the selected were being transcribed from the screen to our devices as Arin picked out their papers.

<< “From Allens, Idalia Moretti, from Angeles, Emily Rose White,... from Honduragua, Callia Adair…” >>

My fingers were moving fast across my cellphone’s keyboard. These were the girls we would be hearing a lot about from now on and I needed to know everything about them.

<< “From Labrador, Lea…” >>

I froze. My head felt dizzy trying to take in what I had just heard. For the shortest of seconds, everyone’s eyes were on me. I could hear Rita’s voice instructing them to get back to work and maybe someone else was now in charge of The Globe’s blog but at that moment I couldn’t care less about that.

It’s really happening... I made it to the selection!

Finally, I could stand up. I was feeling so much energy inside me that I wanted to run. Suddenly, the lift made a sound and my dad came quickly out of it and … wait, my mom is here? She was carrying my sleepy little brother, Dean.

I could read the shock on my parents’ faces.“I’m in!!” I said a little too loud but since Mr. Grant was there no one dared to complain. My dad let out a short laugh before extending his arms for an embrace. “Congratulations, Rosie, I knew it would happen, didn’t I tell you V?” He said to my mom. “Grants always get what they want.”

Ugh, I wish. But I wasn’t going to argue with him right now, so I just offered him a wink.

As soon as my father let go, my mom surrounded me with her free arm. “So how does it feel to be a lady, huh? We have to celebrate this!”

“Well, do ladies feel hungry this late? Cause I wasn’t feeling it a moment ago.” “Yes, let’s leave these guys to work in peace.” my dad said suddenly remembering where we were. After clearing his throat as if that simple gesture was a switch between the dad and the boss, he talked with Rita to make sure someone had replaced me updating the blog, then he congratulated everyone for their dedication and finally wished them good night. “I just hope you are paying me the full day,” I said to my dad as we all headed outside.

“I mean, are you working right now?” He raised an eyebrow, mockingly.

I sighed “I guess Grants can’t always get what they want after all.” And I meant it in more than one way.

The next week ran fast. My father and I agreed that I had to keep going to the office as usual, but it wasn’t easy to balance my work and my phone ringing every 5 minutes. More than once I had to ride home in the middle of the day because someone was waiting for me at home.

First, a man with a very peculiar face came to do some kind of interrogation, which was understandable until we got to the most uncomfortable, personal ones. I almost spit my coffee laughing until I realized he had no intention to leave until he got every answer to each one of the questions on his list.

Like him, I received a tailor and a doctor; but it wasn’t until the press started to ask for interviews when I realized my life had made a turn of 360 degrees.

The thing I lamented the most about this odd schedule was that I couldn’t travel to the provinces to interview some of the selected as we had planned, but I did take advantage of every opportunity I had to do deep research about them.

Some of the names or last names could be found on old newspaper editions, there were tragedies, accomplishments, unfortunate events… I smiled to myself, while I made annotations on my journal, fascinated by all the different interesting lives that were about to gather under the same roof. And I guess somehow that included mine.

The farewell party organized by Labrador’s Mayor seemed more like a political campaign than a real party. I might have fallen asleep during his speech if I hadn’t been texting Harris for the 40th time that week.

The last time I knew something about him was the night of the announcement when he sent me a simple “Congratulations, Lady Lea.” Then as the photographer, he had to go with Rea to the half-tour over the country to cover the selected interviews.

“How dare you not be here when you are needed,... you lucky mooncalf.”

I looked up to see the crowd from my place on the big platform set in the middle of the Amberly park. It hadn’t been a very good idea, because there were grey clouds gathering over us and the sun was partially covered by them already.

Someone forgot to check the weather section today.

But the trees surrounding us were decorated with purple and green metallic balloons -the colors of our province- and there were several signs with good wishes so I appreciated the effort.

Everyone was here; The Globe employees that didn’t like me at all, my family on the first row, my college best friend, Liv had made space on her busy schedule to come to the event, even my grandmother had sent his chauffeur with presents. That was her way to show support and I honestly didn’t have any complaints. After the Mayor’s speech, the great boss Maxwell Loyd took the microphone to speak, I rolled my eyes, not caring about the people in front of me. He didn’t waste this opportunity to promote himself and flatter me. I mean, if he really had thought all that about me I would have had a promotion and a raise already, instead I just got ridiculous instructions and a handshake.

When they both finally finished, the rain had started to pour, plus it was almost time for me to leave for the airport. I buttoned my coat before taking my place behind the microphone to start talking, but the eyes of the lady in charge of my schedule forced me to skip until the end of the speech I had prepared the night before. Every time I was going to make it sound deep and sentimental she made a sign for me to hurry.

“I appreciate your support… I will do my best… thank you for coming.”

Were the only complete sentences I managed to say under such pressure. There was clapping and cheering afterwards, but there was after the previous boring speeches as well, so I didn’t get too excited about that.

“Have a good time, my Lea.” My mother said after kissing my brow. I could smell her sweet perfume that I was going to miss. “I will, mom. Take care, I’m only leaving cause I know you are going to be in charge.” I side eyed the two men of the house. Then I kissed my little brother and messed his blond hair. “Bye bye little toad.” He just babbled something and waved his little hand.

“So, Lady Grant. What do you expect from Prince Arin? Do you secretly plan to drink all the coffee from the Angele’s Palace? Rumor has it your father won’t let you marry until you turn 48 years old do you think Your Highness would wait for you that long?” “Wow, Mr. Grant you ask pretty basic questions, I have been asked the same ones all week.” He gave me a big tight hug and I ignored the wool of his coat feeling itchy on my cheek. “I’m very proud of you Leana, and of course I’m not talking about this selection situation… I’m sorry about-” I stopped him not wanting to have our little disagreements as today’s last memory. And I also hoped I could change his mind by the time I returned home. “We can talk about that when I come back, dad.” He nodded. “I’m starting to feel bad for our dear Prince Arin.” I scoffed a laugh.

“Lady Grant, we are past the established hours already.” I heard a lady behind me.

I turned to my friend Liv with an apologetic expression but she just smiled and waved. “I will text you… Bye! The rain started to fall harder but I had read the weather section on the paper this morning so I was properly dressed with boots and a coat over my white shirt and black pants.

I walked towards a guard who was holding an opened umbrella to cover us with it. He opened the door of the car. Then he offered to take my bag for me, but I had packed some of my old journals in there among my personal things. “Thank you… What’s your name?” “Finn Ray, my lady.” He answered confused. “I will keep this here with me, Finn.” I said in what I hoped was a reassuring tone before entering the car. I guessed he was new at guarding selected, because I noticed him turning to look at the woman in charge of the schedule. She nodded once at him and joined me inside the limousine.

By the time we got to the airport I had learned that our chauffeur was called Alan Cobb, he had been working for the palace for 3 years on special occasions. He had three kids and his wife was expecting a baby girl.

The strict lady was Miss Ramirez, she was happily single, obviously tardiness was her biggest pet peeve and she had worked there for 6 years already, but she enjoyed her job and had never thought of doing anything else, although I didn’t quite understand exactly which was her role in the royal offices of Labrador.

She left me at the boarding door after wishing me luck.

The flight to Angeles was long. I shared a plane with 3 others selected, that seemed pretty decent at first sight.

We had a polite introduction conversation before we took off, but then everyone focused on her own thing; Jen Li, -the Yale law student from Waverly- took advantage of the 8 hours flight to sleep. Alana Hansen looked out from the window almost the whole time lost in her thoughts, and based on the green tone on Regina Wright’s face I guessed she was a risky company for the moment.

I remembered I had read about her parents' unfortunate plane accident in an old newspaper, they used to be famous politicians and she was an apple that had fallen close to the tree. Hopefully not too close.

So, considering my options I prefer to write in my journals during the whole trip.

As soon as we arrived we were hurried to a room for makeovers. For me it felt more like a day in the salon, nothing drastic was made, just a few lights on my hair, perfect makeup and a stunning blue dress with matching elegant pump heels shoes.

They did insisted on giving me contact lenses, since I had forgotten to pack mine, so after a long argument with the stylist, Mariel, I decided to wear the contacts and let him enjoy “his creation”.

In the end, despite the little changes, when he showed me my reflection in the mirror, I had to recognize I was content with the upgraded version of me.

ESSENTIAL RESEARCH

The tour around the palace was quite short considering its size. I was almost sure that it was bigger on the inside than it looked on the outside, but the curiosity to see my new room, made me settle with the basic information,

I took a glance down at the little map on my hand. Eloise Hall room 28, second floor. As I headed to the stairs, the decorations and fancy details surrounding me were impossible to ignore. With every step you could find paintings by famous old artists -my mother admired- hanging on the walls, expensive vases and beautiful furniture.

Looking around I spotted one of the selected quickly scribbling some notes in a notebook. As I got closer I noticed she was my plane mate, Regina Wright. Her green tone had disappeared or maybe covered with makeup and she looked much more secure now that we were down here on earth soil.

I laughed a little bit inside walking by her side “Hope whatever you are writing is worth a bump on your head.”

“I hope so too” She said absentmindedly, not looking up from her notebook. After some seconds she took a short look at me, flipped through her notebook and quickly closed it before I could react and lean discreetly to read what she was working on.

Okay, now I’m curious.

“Excuse me, hi. Leana is it?” She gave me a polite smile.

“Yes, feeling better... Regina..? I asked faking ignorance.

She looked at me as she didn’t know why I was asking her that but then just answered, “Splendid. But please, call me Reggie.”

We continue walking up the stairs towards the second floor, while we shook hands,

“I'm Leana Grant but you can call me Lea or Lee” I said touching the arc of my glasses I had put back on as soon as I left the makeover room.

She nodded. “Alright, Lea. Journalist, correct?” She made her pen click as if she was going to start writing again. I frowned, puzzled. “You too?”

She chuckled at the question as if I should already know who she was. And the truth was, I did.

“No,” she finally said, opening her notebook again, adding something, then she continued. “So, what brings you here?”

I was sure Reggie had many qualities but subtlety wasn’t one of them.

I pressed my lips together, thinking about my motives, which one of them should I tell her? I’m here as an inside informant for The Globe; or, I’m here to live and learn about this whole selection phenomenon… I didn’t even know which one was the right answer. “... just figured I couldn't miss this whole thing, you know.”

Half- truths are always safe.

“Are you here for politics?” I added before she could even think about my answer.

She looked pleasantly surprised by my question, clearing her throat. “Yes, that is one of the reasons.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “You did your research.”

I guess it was my turn to feel recognized, but unlike her I didn’t want to be so obvious, so I shrugged. “Your name rang a bell.”

She looked at me suspiciously, lifting her chin, a slight movement I didn’t quite understand. “Is that so? That's good, I suppose. Best to be prepared.”

“Maybe you are right, I guess you actually did your research. What do you have about me?” I asked directly now, pointing at her notebook casually.

She remained serious. “Oh, just the usual. Occupation, caste, age. Name, obviously. There's 35 of us after all. Would be a shame to get anyone mixed up.”

“Well, now most of us are threes and the twos are pretty well known.”

“Yes well, obviously. Was to be expected. It's still an appropriate mix.”

Her statement made me remember her parents somehow, obviously she had their school but I wonder how much she agreed with them. “That’s... a word to describe it, yes.” I answered incredulous, “So where are you staying?” I asked, as I noticed I have already found my room.

We discovered we were room neighbors which I decided was very convenient for me. I liked people who have answers to my questions.

She was concerned about my acoustic guitar hobby and I assured her I hadn’t brought mine with me. “The music room will do.” And she assured me her studying was going to be silent.

The conversation continued but my curiosity was already unbearable, so I opened the door of my room to check it out. I didn’t want to be rude so I invited Reggie inside as we talked.

“What are you working on?” I stepped inside

She followed. “Political Science Major.”

I gave her a glance to let her know that was not the answer I was looking for.

She blinked with realization. “Oh, I see I misunderstood. Well, actually I was just writing a paper on the pros and cons of capitalism and if our country should focus more on it like we did when we were still called the 'United States'” She air quoted the name.

I looked around my room considering her answer. Suddenly my eyes met with three maids standing in line in the middle of the room. When they saw us they made a courtesy and I nodded at them as a greeting, hoping we can have proper introductions later.

“Hmm the lesser of evils... but the United States not exactly an example to be followed.” I said to Reggie.

“Exactly.” She said. I noticed her writing a mark in her notebook.

“A-are you like grading me?” I dared to ask what I had suspected since the beginning, but I didn’t want to believe. It was shocking at first but after the third mark it became amusing.

“Who else do you have in there?” I asked curiously before running next to her to peek at her notebook. She closed it again. When I looked at her she smiled at me awkwardly “No, of course not. Just remembered something.” Her notebook was behind her back, now out of my reach. She straightened her shoulders before adding, “Well, thank you kindly for your invitation, glad to have met you…”

I stayed there confused, Had I gotten it wrong? Or was I right and she didn’t want me to know? Anyway, I should have said nothing. “Alright ... glad to meet you too, see you around.” I said worried that she might be uncomfortable now.

She nodded as she headed to the door. One of the maids hurried to hold the door for her.

I frowned concerned, I couldn’t just lose a source like her. “Wait for me tomorrow, I think we can walk to the dining room together.”

She turned to give me a frown, seemingly confused by my suggestion. “But I already know where it-” then she smiled. “I will.”

As soon as Reggie left I took out the journal from the pocket of my dress and tossed on the pretty desk by a large window where I peered at the view of the Angeles city.

FOR THE RECORD.

After introductions my maids brought me dinner up to my room. So while I was eating the best creamy mustard chicken I ever had, we had a little chat.

Among other things we talked about I expressed my surprise when I didn’t see any Royals when we arrived. Liberty, Camila and confirmed the Schreaves didn’t plan to meet any selected tonight, we would have to wait until morning. Queen Anjeli and Princess Ayesha had to leave the palace to attend important matters and Wylan Caldwell in spite of not being a selected was currently living in the Palace. Back in Labrador, I managed between college, work and extra work to fill my schedule, my mother never liked me being out of the house so late at night or sometimes not being able to have a complete breakfast in the morning, I enjoyed being busy and drive my Vespa from one place to another, but it was hard for me to admit that one of the reasons I liked my life that way was that besides when I was concentrated writing notes on my iTypewriter; I was not good at being alone with my thoughts. That’s why when I was a child my mother bought me a ukulele to play when I was feeling anxious, which gave excellent results. Later when I entered college I took a short guitar course with the same purpose.

Therefore, later that afternoon, when my maids went back to their chores, leaving me alone I decided to leave my room to check out the music room, as I promised Reggie I would do.

It took me some minutes to find the right door downstairs but my memory had never failed me and it wasn’t going to start now.

I opened the third door in the west hall and peeked inside. I felt relieved when I saw the big piano in the last corner and dared to walk inside. Besides the piano, there were several instruments resting on their stands spread around the room, most of them to play classical music, but luckily, an acoustic guitar was among them. I was going to pick it up to test it when I spotted shelves full of old vinyl records.

I walked towards the vinyl record player, it had a beautiful vintage look, it’s big horn imitated the ancient gramophones used during the Victorian years, but I suspected to be a more recent model.

I noticed someone had left a classic record on, I wonder which one of the Royals had been listening to it as I moved the tonearm onto the outer edge of the disk, the little diamond tip to touch the groove.

I guess I still remember how to use one of this.

I stretched my arm and pulled one of the discs from the upper shelf, the others came down with it and << "KNEEE-KNEEE!!" >>

The blaring sound of violins vibrated around the room making me wince for the annoying sound filling my ears.

“Damn!” I covered my ears while trying to find a way to turn the bloody record player off before my head exploded. Overwhelmed by the sound I went on my knees and stretched my hand behind the furniture looking desperately for the plug, but before I could find any the music stopped.

I stood up still touching my ears

Have I gone deaf?

“I take you didn’t mean to do that.” I heard someone say behind me.

Okay, I haven’t

I turned around to find a guy eyeing me warily, from the corner of my eye I noticed a laptop and a couple of heavy leather books that weren't on the table before.

“I was considering turning it on but it made the decision for me,” I said without explaining.

At that moment, a couple of guards came into the room alarmed. They scanned the room quickly before looking at us puzzled.

Wylan followed my gaze and turned to them, slightly. “Just a mishap. We’re fine.” He acknowledged with a wave of his hand. I let out a sigh of relief as they left the room to return to their posts.

“First time using a record player?” He asked to continue teasing

I gave him a deadpan look. “Ha-ha I take that the last person who played it had some hearing problems.” Before I crouched to pick up the rest of the vinyl records still scattered on the carpeted floor, I noticed a smile tugging at his lips that didn’t last.

In a minute he was bending in front of me to help. “You picked some good ones.”

Suddenly we looked at each other for a second, I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at his for a second trying to figure any sign of sarcasm in them, and he just had the word “awkward” written all over his face. Obviously I was making him feel uncomfortable.

I would have laughed if I hadn’t been so busy trying to read him.

“I like classics- acoustic to be precise.” I finally said with a shrug. “Do you own any of these?”

“This John Mayer one is mine. I have some other ones too. They’re over there.” He gestured to the rack behind me, then stood up with the vinyls he helped pick up.

I raised my eyebrow and nodded approvingly. “You have some taste, I will give you that.” I looked up at him, waiting for him to offer his hand for me to help me stand, but apparently living in a castle was no guarantee of anything, so I just stood up slowly, brushing my dress.

“Some were gifts I grew to love.” He acknowledged, holding the vinyls out for me. “I’d recommend keeping the volume down before you turn it on next time.”

I took the discs to put them back in its place on the shelves “Well, you should put a sign somewhere,” I joked, a bit annoyed by his recommendation.

I adjusted my glasses and stayed standing there, admiring the vinyl records once more. My curious mind wondered about the Prince. “Which ones are Arin’s?”

“I’m not sure. He might not own any.” I caught him glancing at his things he had left on the table before back to me. “Might be a good question to ask him yourself.”

Or you’re just evading the question. But fortunately, one of the things my job had teached me was to have thick skin so I wasn’t going to let him get away so easily.

“You really don’t know or you don’t want to tell me?” I asked with an amusing tone.

He let out a small sigh, relenting a bit. “He likes The Killers. There’s probably a vinyl or two of those in here if you really need a good conversation starter.”

I faked a grimace “ugh! that piece of information should’ve hurt…” I said mockingly before adding. “I guess some advice for tomorrow’s interview is completely out of the table.”

“Depends on what advice you’re looking for,” he let out, surprising me.

I started to walk around the room still looking at him, considering my answer. “I don’t know, you are his friend... knowing a little bit about his personality would help,” I said casually, as if I didn’t already have thousands of questions listed in my head.

But somehow he knew I did. “I’ll answer one question you have. Just one.”

“So generous …” I said more to myself than to him. My hand went unconsciously inside the pocket on my dress and my fingers touched my journal inside of it, purely out of habit. Of course, I wasn’t going to take it out so I crossed my hands in front of me as I resumed my walking around the room.

“Okay…” In my mind I was looking for a single question that could indirectly tell me things about Arins personality … and why not about Mr. Uncomfortable himself too.

“How do you start getting along back in college, like how did you become friends?”

Suddenly he let out a laugh, startling me. I frowned at first, but then I decided it wasn’t so bad, it picked my curiousness further.

I looked at him genuinely amused and he begined, “We were both going for runs and without knowing, I drifted a little too close. I was listening to music and not paying attention. His bodyguard sort of…” He paused to bring his fist to his neck simulating a punch. “And took me down.” I could see he was amused, for real.

I laughed picturing the scene on my mind, considering all his previous teasing and had to admit it was a little bit entertaining to do so. “Ouch! His bodyguard does look ... fierce.” I commented remembering the man’s complexion I had seen several times on TV.

I wait for him to continue before asking, “what happened next? What did Arin say?”

His smile was more like a ghost on his face now, not physically there but somehow still present. “He apologized. After that we found out we shared a couple classes together and I offered to help him study for exams.”

“That’s an epic story… I bet it left you marked for some days.” I made a grimace, touching my neck, imagining the pain.

“Swallowing hurt, to say the least,” he said, remembering. After a minute, he combed a hand through his hair. “ Did that satisfy your question?”

“Hmm yeah, it was good, for now” I answered scoffing a laugh. The truth was I didn’t expect to enjoy his story that much, but I just couldn’t settle with only one question, but it wasn’t convenient to push more questions on him now.

Fortunately he didn’t refuse, he just rolled his eyes at me, amused. “Alright, well I have to get back to work. At least try to not deafen the entire palace again.”

“I can’t promise anything.” I let out, finally taking the acoustic guitar from its stand, while he turned to gather his things.

“Reassuring.” He gave me a side glance and started walking out the room, he offered a two fingered salute before disappearing behind the opened door.

After a second, while looking down at the guitar already in place on my lap, I compelled, “Wylan... thanks!”

“You're welcome.”

I heard him say from the hallway just before I started strumming the guitar strings, hoping its sound was enough to help me survive the first night.

#OC 6 #PC part 2 #Reggie Wright #Wylan Caldwell #((thanks again to Cassey for reading and giving me some perspective ))

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loudest-subtext-in-tv · 5 years

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A Study in Fate teaser

Here’s the first 2200 words of a novel-length fanfic that I’ll finish sometime this year. It’s a WiP on an atypical schedule: At a later date I’ll release the rest of the first chapter, but then I’ll release everything else all at once.

Some authors don’t like if you hassle them to hurry up, but I may find it motivating. I’m going to attempt to get better at answering my asks/comments so feel free to ask me things about this fic, but keep in mind there’s a lot of things I won’t answer. Please be aware that no one cares if you don’t like first person perspective.

Though a big aspect of this story is about how to manage depression, it starts in a relatively dark place and weaves in and out of it. If you can’t handle unresolved distant thoughts of suicide right now, maybe wait until the entire story is posted.

Finally, I am doing okay financially right now, but two of my fandom friends are not. If you’ve ever wanted to give me money, I now have a Patreon. Anything you give me will help me help them.

Description: After the events of The Empty Hearse, Sherlock struggles to figure out who he is now that John no longer seems willing to play a prominent role in his life. As his mind runs in circles trying to parse their relationship and determine who threw John in the bonfire, his world is shattered by an enigmatic visitor: himself, bearing bad news from the future.

Series 3 time travel remix; series 4 compatible.

Tags and warnings: first person present, agonizing slow burn, explicit but romantic, depression, suicidal ideation, NOT FLUFF, self-actualization

Read on AO3 or under the cut:

Chapter One - The Curtain Rises

One can’t get far without an organizing principle. Every man needs one drive to which all others are subordinate, a touchstone that seizes him with purpose.

I had one once.

Now I have chips.

Dreadful organizing principle, chips: once you’ve got them, there’s nothing propelling you forward anymore. Have enough of them and you hardly want to move at all. God. I was in the best shape of my life, body and mind, and now I’m turning into Mycroft.

Except Mycroft has already transcended these struggles — or so he claims. Yet again, I’m lagging behind on a path I never wanted to follow. Splendid.

Any moment Mrs Hudson will come out and start chattering away about you. That will set me back the rest of the day, yet I won’t ascend the stairs. Does no part of my mind demand control of my brain stem? I’m meant to be some kind of genius: Any visionary corner of my psyche eager to make something of me? No takers?

No. Life is now nothing more but the wandering of here to there. And thoughts like that are why everyone thinks I’m a baby, so for god’s sake stop.

I am all too stopped.

Depression is a dowsing rod: shows you where to dig. So: Why do I halt here, at the bottom of the stairs? Why can’t I face the only place I’ve ever belonged?

It’s not merely that you don’t live here anymore. Not quite. That would be too easy.

Where are you wandering now, John? You got off work an hour ago. No one's called to alert me you've been kidnapped, so there's one thing I didn't miss today.

Still figuring that out, darling. Off my game. Maybe was never on it. Against my better judgment I let romance rot my mind, and you're the one who's suffered most. But I've recovered from less noble chemical weaknesses than your company. Against all odds I still draw breath. If I make myself do nothing else, I will turn this around. I'll prove you can rely on me.

Any threatening emails? You don't just attempt to incinerate a man and move on. For god's sake, give me something.

Oh. A text. Not a threat; a video from the homeless network. Must have been delayed whilst I was on the tube.

There you are, alive and unwell, and here responds my heart but it's nothing. Mere streets away from me, and nowhere near her flat. Why do you do this, John? Is your phone broken? We could just talk about this. Give me another chance and I swear I won't come on so strong. I was too presumptuous when we last spoke weeks ago. I broke your heart, I'm monstrous; you're no longer fond. I get it.

You're no longer fond, but you're in need of a hit. Which is curious, you realize. You understand how a man would get the impression... But no. I won't presume. Life is boring and I'm dangerous and bless you, you need a hit. Just come get one. I'll pretend I'm managing, I'll find a way to switch on that whole persona for you and you can do your hero worship thing. I won't act desperate.

Just show up, and I will respect your wishes.

Do anything but pensively stop on the sidewalk in front of shops you have no intention of entering. It just screams, I'm distracted! Kidnap me! It's been an age and I know you despise me, but if you keep doing this I'm going to have to conduct surprise drills again.

Maybe you're trying to get kidnapped. I wouldn't put it past you. Maybe it would be charity to send a car around for you to blithely climb into. Do you even think about how that would make Mary feel, John?

Of course, it's me you're thinking about right now. The tension in your posture, the unconscious clenching of your hand, the conflict evident on your face even from this distance: definitely me.

You know, I wasn't the only one who presumed. The papers presumed, the entire British populace presumed, even your sister presumed and surely she'd -- No matter. You've made yourself clear. Just: spare a thought for "the best thing that's ever happened" to you. I've no talent for consoling women on my best days, and I'd hate to see how I'd fare in a worse state than her.

No, I don't know that. I don't know that I love you more than she does. She's never broken your heart.

Oh. Wait, why...? For god's sake, Pilar, why would you approach him? He'll notice.

Well. Can't complain about seeing your eyes more clearly. Not good for my recovery. And there, yes, you've noticed. Paranoia in full swing, hackles raised, and a step forward. 'Can I help you?' in your usual tone that fashions a threat from etiquette.

Not good for my recovery, no. The things you do to my blood, John.

'Got a pound?'

'For someone recording me?' You scoff, narrow your eyes. 'Are you...?'

'Say, aren't you John Watson?' Oh, clever girl. Look at him, pretending he's not pleased to be recognized.

Yet nothing is ever simple with you, John.

'Yeah.' You're either too smart or too suspicious for your own good. (Freud would presume. I'm only saying.) 'Did he...?' You look directly at the camera; at me.

Come on! You assume it’s me? When roaming bands of criminals have set you aflame? Oh here we go, that spark in your eye -- you're going all in:

'Did you put her up to this?'

Oh well.

'Who? What makes you say that, sir?'

'Uh, well he does it all the time.' I don't. 'You know what? Just send it to him.'

'Not sure what you mean, sir.'

'Oh,' you laugh, 'you're not sure what I mean. Stop bloody recording me.'

And that's the end of that.

So. Guess you won't be coming over this week either. Or will you? Are you angry enough to confront me? It's not stalking when it's for your own protection -- just ask my brother, John. God knows he could use the conversation.

I’ve got to find more discreet operatives.

> Next time don't be so obvious.

When did she send this? Ten minutes ago. No, if you were going to come over, you would have arrived by now.

I suppose you’ve already said everything you have to say. But not even a text for stalking, John? I thought we had a connection.

Or we did. Before Moriarty won.

Not your fault. All mine. I underestimated him, failed to foresee the lengths to which he'd go for his insane plan. Didn't realize how many pieces he'd put on the board. Stupid.

A ping:

i thought youd like it? before you whinged you cant hardly see him

It was only supposed to be months, John. Then dozens of pulled threads later and you'd already gone and shacked up with a woman! That's what I get for being thorough.

And not even thorough enough. But if I wasn't thorough enough then neither was MI6, John. If Moriarty still had operatives in London, that's on Mycroft. And me. But definitely on Mycroft.

I don't know. Hate not knowing.

Are we really never going to talk about this? I took down an international crime syndicate for you, and you broke up with me on your blog?

No, no -- sorry. I take full responsibility.

This is ridiculous. I don't know why anyone comes to me to solve their problems. I can't even make it up the stairs.

Ah.

That's it, isn't it? I don’t live up there anymore, either.

Yes. Everyone says you can find Sherlock Holmes just up those stairs, back from the dead and cleverer than ever! Like most things everyone says, it’s not true. I search for him in these rooms daily, and all the evidence points to this: Sherlock Holmes was a character created by John Watson. An exciting story. A fairy tale. (Dare I say a fantasy?)

People will believe anything you tell them, John, and they did. You were so sure I was a hero that even I came to believe it in the end. Now they only keep believing it because I lied. I was never steps ahead, never as infallible as you made me out to be -- and now that you've quit writing me I'll never be anyone at all.

But I'm doing it again. Getting histrionic. I'm not the first nobody to have his heart broken. They all get on with life.

Well: usually. Technically speaking, the most invested ones turn to murder or suicide. On the upside, murder is still in the cards: Assuming I can pull it together long enough to hunt down the appropriate parties, they are murderers and it would be doing the world a favor to murder them right back. In the course of any such investigation there will tend to arise situations in which I would have no choice but to murder them -- or, fortune willing, sacrifice myself so that you may live. Or both! Now that would be a power play: cleanse the board of evil, preserve the king. The ideal way to die may yet fall into my lap.

It's nice to have things to look forward to.

But say it doesn't pan out. Given my recent track record it would be foolish to place undue faith in my forecasting abilities, and after all, I don't know for certain this has anything to do with Moriarty's network. He pulled so many rugs out from under me I'm always half expecting yet another rug. I may grow as paranoid as you, John, with him skulking about in my head. For all I know everyone involved was in Moran's network, and I'm chasing after people who are already in custody. Maybe there's no grand end, no power plays, no relief.

That leaves suicide.

I'm not saying I will, John. I refuse to break your heart again. And it would be no way to honor the lengths to which you've gone to preserve my life. They're mere thoughts. They come and go -- always have, and I always haven't. I'm not going to do it, and if I am, I can always do it later.

But no appealing alternative has revealed itself. Only the obvious path for the invested: live like everyone else, and finally sever myself from aspiring to anything meaningful or exciting. Growing up, they call it.

Freud called it repression, so let's hold off on drastic measures. I made this life work before and I can make it work again.

Of course, that was easy for Freud to say: Being invested in life isn't an exercise in masochism when you have a lifelong companion. Not to be maudlin, John, but I wasn't making it work until you came along. Not truly. You were the gear that made it all click. I couldn't become Sherlock Holmes until you facilitated it.

It felt like the strength you granted me persisted during our years apart, but it's no surprise I drifted off course the moment you weren't at my side. That's not superstitious, John, that’s just a cold fact. You would have caught the little things I didn't. You would have kept my ego in check.

But what's done is done. I'll muster some strength for you. Reinvent myself again. Reorder my mind, keep myself off the needle and the pavement until I tie up these loose ends. Then... who knows.

Maybe someone else will come along.

Well. Feels good to laugh.

I’ve got to get on with it. Life may be a flight of uncarpeted stairs, but I'm sick of being down here.

'Going out, dear? John didn't call, did he?'

Will I always be this damned slow?

I sigh loudly, not that it will make any difference. 'No, and no.' You scowl like you do when I talk about him. 'Just getting in.'

You frown. 'But we were just talking.'

My heart leaps. 'You and John?'

'No, silly.' My heart falls. You tilt your head; smile. 'You and me.'

'You were talking. I was out.'

You shake your head and laugh, a cheery, infuriating tinkle. 'You had quite a lot to--'

'Mrs Hudson.' For god's sake, do not go senile on me. Not one more straw.

'Is it drugs, dear?' Terrible, hushed pity. Everyone always leaps straight to drugs! 'Oh don't get angry, I know all the signs! The nerve of him, putting you in this state. I'd say a few things to him, if only he'd come around once in a--'

Anything has got to be better than this.

'Project much?' The stairs are fine two at a time.

'I need those for my hip!’

'Adjust your dose! You're clearly...’ What?

What in the world?

'That would explain so much,' he says, and the room tilts.

Through the door. There I am. There he is.

Sherlock Holmes.

End notes:

In The Lying Detective, Sherlock tells Faith that chips are “the only perk” of being suicidal. In The Empty Hearse, he was eating chips when Mary told him John had been kidnapped.

John’s most recent blog entry before this story takes place is The Empty Hearse. It’s a mindfuck minefield for poor Sherlock, but we’ll get into that more soon. For now, know it contains this doozy: “Oh, and in other news, I’ve got engaged. But, it’s not something I’m really going to talk about much here. I want to keep some things private. I will say, though, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Sorry, Sherlock :)”

I borrowed the name Pilar from Sherlock Holmes and the Baker Street Irregulars: The Fall of the Amazing Zalindas, a novel by Tracy Mack and Michael Citrin. I’ve never read it, mind, it just seems like it wouldn’t be the sort of thing Sherlock would assign to Wiggins, and Wiggins would never be so sloppy.

Sherlock is obsessed with Freud. One Freud reference in The Abominable Bride, which was constructed entirely from Sherlock’s drugged out brain, came from Mycroft, who asked John if he was aware of theories of paranoia. Freud believed paranoid people were closeted homosexuals, heavily insinuating that Sherlock believes John is a closeted homosexual. Freud meta to come later; he’s very important.

Freud was with his wife for 57 years.

“Life is a flight of uncarpeted stairs” is from the poem “Spring” by the early 20th century queer poet Edna St. Vincent Millay. She ended up dying of a heart attack that made her fall down the stairs, which is itself poetic. Though she was a woman, I think it’s realistic Sherlock would know about her: the Casebook notes that Sherlock reads the agony aunt columns in women’s magazines because they contain all of life and are pertinent to his line of work, and in the same spirit I’ve made him familiar with all old famous love letters, for which she’s renowned. We also know Sherlock is familiar with Shakespeare and moved enough to remember entire soliloquies, so there’s no way Sherlock could read “Spring” and not retain some of it — especially as John and Mary had been aiming for a spring wedding, and the poem references April, which is just wrapping up as the fic begins.

#tjlc #johnlock #fanfic #my fanfic #A Study in Fate #this was a nightmare to format on an iPhone

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idk-my-aesthetic · 5 years

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isle kingdom au

so i’ve had this idea for an AU for a little while, but i don’t wanna actually write anything for it until i’m done w/ my current descendants wips, but i also wanna talk about it lol so ig im making a post? please send me asks about it i wanna talk about it.... anyway

**tw for child abuse and semi-graphic descriptions of violence.

basically the premise of the au is that even though he tried to get it passed at first, ben never went through with pulling the vks off the isle. he kept meaning too, but it just kept being pushed to the back of his list of priorities bc he was so busy w/ being king and never happened

so bc of this, the core 4 stayed on the isle and never got off it. if you’ve read the stuff in my keep them close series u probably have a better idea of my hc of the isle, but the basics of it are that 1) most of the parents are really bad and abusive + the conditions are disgusting 2) none of the kids are really evil and 3) the vks are all kinda frenimes/rivals and will work together to keep eachother alive even if they act like they hate eachother or will even hurt eachother

so, in the ‘canon’ timeline before going to auradon the core 4 are a gang and slowly gaining power. they’re already the top of the vk gangs and are like gaining on some of the adult ones.

bc they never go to auradon, they just kinda keep doing what they already are and gain more and more power. but, as they gain power their parents start becoming afraid of them and acting like more abusive in attempts to keep the core 4 under their control

ok bare w/ me for this next bit bc it’s gonna sound real ooc for like a sec then make sense

so, as they’re gaining power and their parents are haveing more and more trouble controlling them their parents are becoming more and more violent.

im not sure on the order yet, but basically cruella, jafar, eq, and malifacent all do something like really really bad to their respective kid, so one of the other core 4 kills them bc like. yeah.

i have some vauge ideas of what each of them could have done and i don’t really know if i want to say them or even use them tbh bc they’re like.... bad, like real bad. which they kinda have to be, you know? bc like.... none of the core 4 would turn to killing if they didn’t have a real good reason, and their parents continuing the abuse that they always have woulden’t be enough, so the parents would have to do something really really bad for one of the others to justify killing them

its important to mention that none of them kill their own parent. it’s always one of the other 4, im not sure who kills who just yet, but none of them kill their own parent. They’re saved from their parents by each other and they never really have any confrontation with their parents (which will change l8r 👀👀, let me explain)

Even tho they didn’t kill their own parents, everyone kinda assumed they did in order to take their places/gain power. A handful of their friends know the real story, but it’s mostly kept under wraps and it’s like general “knowledge” that they killed their parents for power. They’re not really hiding it or anything, I mean they did still each kill one of the 4 most powerful villains so it’s not like anyone is gonna be less afraid if they knew the truth. ppl just make assumptions and never really question them and they just let ppl think what they do

So bc their parents are dead and they let everyone assume they killed their own parent they very easily climb up the ranks and end up in charge of the isle bc atp they’re seen as the most ruthless/evil/powerful

So now that they’re in charge of the isle they start like..... actually making it a livable place. Ofc at first they try to make a version of Carlos’s machine to break the barrier, but they can’t get it to work so he just modifys it to steal magic from the barrair for them to use. (Another idea stolen from my keep them close series but like I like the idea lol)

And when I say they make it a livable place I mean they start doing stuff like building water purifiers, making like safe houses, establishing some kind of working economy, taking control of the barge drop offs and how everything is distributed, fixing broken electricity, etc etc

A lot of what they do is based off of Carlos’s machines and designs, which like obvi other ppl are helping him gather materials and for and build, since he has power bc he’s like one of the ppl in charge. And he like teaches other ppl how to do what he does and fix anything that goes wrong

Evie kinda puts herself in charge of setting up like medical centers + homes for kids and stuff. Also some kinda way to grow food. B4 they’re in charge nothing can really grow but they use the magic they steal from the barrier to make stuff grow. And evie can use it to make like lots of healing items and such

Jay ends up mostly in charge of like collecting and distribution of their recourses. At first like the barge is kinda a hugeeee problem to deal with bc ppl are fighting over the like moldy food and destroyed clothes and stuff. But eventually they get it organized and have stuff sent to the respective place it should, like clothes and scrap fabric are sent to a place that repairs and sells them, parts and electronics are sent to Carlos or his helpers, etc

Other minor vks like Celia, dizzy, the sea three, Diego, etc are all in this two but this is already really long so just know they’re like helping and like pretty high ranking/highly regarded. Send me an ask with questions please

Mal is kinda regarded as the ultimate leader/queen of the isle ig even though the other 3 have basically the same amount of power. Mostly bc her job ends up being keeping the adults who dislike them inline and keeping their power as heads of the isle

Most ppl are just kinda chill w/ them being in charge, especially a lot of the ppl who were banished for minor crimes. A few of the adult villains try to fight them and end up dead lol, and anyone caught doing especially bad things, like r*pe, hurting someone they shouldn’t have, being a child abuser, etc will end up killed by mal or one of the others. They don’t kill u for like every crime obviously only the like inexcusable ones. Stuff like stealing or mental illness or w/e they basically just help you work through

They’re aren’t any like real laws ig but they deal with issues as they go and give harsh punishments if needed. It serves to keep themselves seen as strong/evil/powerful despite all the good they do and helps keep others too afraid to challenge them. Like frollo isn’t going to challenge them if Ursula tried the same thing and got killed. (The fact that she abused uma and her siblings obviously had nothing to do with that,,,,,,,,,,,)

So yeah! They basically turned the isle into a inhabitable place in the years that they spent as its leaders, and it functions as its own kinda kingdom despite its harsh and confusing laws/rules

But we ain’t done yet, lol

Basically everything I’ve just explained is.... mostly backstory? Kinda? It’s the type of thing where you slowly find out about all this stuff while they actual story goes on, but I figured it’d be less confusing to explain it first :3

So the Actual story starts a few years after when Ben originally was supposed to take the vks off the isle. He, all the other princess/princes he want to school with, the core 4, the sea 3, etc are all in their mid to early 20s.

Auradon has basically no clue what’s the deal w/ the isle. They’re only interaction w/ them is through the like goblins that bring over the trash barges, but those guys are chill and basically don’t tell the aks anything lol.

So Ben is ruling his kingdom, and the core 4 are ruling their own, both sides are doing pretty well and ignoring each other, but then! All of a sudden there’s these sudden deaths/fires/some kinda terrorist attack on the outskirts of the kingdom.

I haven’t thought through this part too much, but basically he knows that they’re is some kinda threat, but he doesn’t know excatly what it is. All he does know is that the villain that is attacking is demanding to speak to the children of malifecent, jafar, cruella devil, and the evil queen.

He basically rounds up the heroes of those respective stories bc they’re all being threatened in some way or another. The mystery villain continues to do more damage and seems basically impossible to beat, and has given them a time limit b4 they’ll go and start destroying more

They discuss their options and decide their best plan is to go to the isle and convince them core 4 to help, bringing along the heroes and some of the main aks w/ them

Obviously it doesn’t go well bc they show up and mal basically has them arrested lmao

Again I have more in-depth ideas for this part but this post is already wayyyy to long so I’m trying to hurry and finish up

The talk, vks meet their respective heroes, everything is from ak/hero POV so as they explore the isle and talk to the core 4 and other vks they slowly find out about all ^^^ that stuff up there

The core 4 are eventually agree, and they go to face the villains only to find out its their parents who have been resurrected!!!! Fuck!!!!

Idk how or why just yet lmao but I will soon

Parents are obvi pissed, core 4 face their own parents and finally get like some kinda closer or smthn idk I feel like y’all get the gist

in the end auradon agknolages the isle as its own kingdom and the core 4 as its leaders and open trade/remove the barrier so the isle can continue to grow bc it’s been struggling due to lack of recourses

And that’s like the basic outline of my au! I wanna write it eventually but tbh I’m expecting eventually to be like 3 years from now bc of how much other stuff I have so for rn I’m just gonna blog about it. Obviously there’s a lot of other stuff/plots/emotional arcs etc I didn’t talk about bc like This Post Is So Long I’m So Sorry, So please please please send me asks/questions/comments/even your own ideas!!! Please. Everything about this will be tagged with “isle kingdom au” :3

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mynamehan · 5 years

Text

Drummer boy - a Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor imagine

A/N: Hi, so I recently re-watched the movie and it’s still great - newsflash. Got some new inspiration to write and I also accidentally fell more in love with Ben Hardy along the way... So, here it is and I hope you enjoy! My masterlist is somewhere (search for it on my blog and you shall find it) and my REQUESTS are OPEN. Also, did not read this through properly so don’t hate me pls thnx

Warnings: indication and/or minor violence and injuries, slight sexual tension, some swearing

Word count: 2556 bish

Paring: Ben Hardy as Roger Taylor x Reader

Summary: (i suck at summaries but oh well) Working in the music industry often comes with some perks; watching, hearing and helping musicians of all sorts is what you do best but on your first day of transferring to a new arena a musician might have to take care of you.

Having worked in the music business for a few years now, you knew how to get around and to be honest, you were good at your job. Not that odd considering you loved what you did for a living, designing clothes was your passion in life, and you’d never think your love for clothes would lead you to where you currently found yourself. Backstage at an English arena, which you had never previously been to, a long way from home. You didn’t know exactly what to expect nor did you know who you’d style today but you figured that you’d find out sooner or later. Turns out, a couple hours sooner than you thought.

With your travel-sized sowing kit in hand and some clothes in a bag slung over your arm, you made your way past some very stressed people who were frantically running around backstage, preparing for the upcoming show. The fuss didn’t really bother you as you were known to keep your cool in stressed and intense moments, and you placed your bag on a red couch in the dressing room. Glancing at yourself in one of the makeup mirrors on the wall, you straightened your over-sized jeans jacket, fluffing up your hair a bit.

You shook your head slightly to get your energy flowing as you stood up and started organizing the clothes you brought on a metal rack that was already in the room. Hanging every item of clothing on the rack, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander to who the artist, or artists, were and if you had worked with them before. Taking a step back you looked over the rack seeing that every item was now hung properly.

If you hadn’t been so focused, you would have noticed the presence of another person entering the room. The guy politely coughed to get your attention and you instantly whipped around to meet a set of kind eyes on a quite tall man with dark curly hair.

“Sorry, love, don’t mean to bother but are you by any chance finished?”

Letting out a small humming noise as your brain registered what he said. “Oh yeah, sorry. I just finished actually, I’ll be outside if you need the room.”

You took one step towards the door before the guy stopped you, “No, no! Let me rephrase that. If you’re not too busy, could I perhaps get styled a bit earlier? I’d like to test-run a song once more but by myself before we go on, so would it be okay to fix my clothes now so the other boys can get theirs done as I practice?”

It took you a few seconds to realize you were speaking to a member of the band and not someone on the crew or something. “Oh, sure. Now works great actually, seeing as I don’t have anything to do.”

Exchanging a few words as you talked him through what he’d like to wear, you put together an outfit for him at a pretty fast pace. Having done this many times before, you had a good and effective routine resulting in him being finished after only 10 minutes. You found out from the brief conversation that his name was Brian and that he was a really pleasant person to talk to. After finishing up, he thanked you and quickly disappeared off to somewhere.

Checking the watch on your wrist, you figured you’d still had a good few minutes to spare before the rest of the band would come, so you set off to go explore the arena. Maybe you’d even get a view of an exclusive performance?

You didn’t get to look around much before you found the remaining three members of the band on stage, still testing their instruments. Squinting from where you stood on the right side of the stage, you watched the scene evolve in front of you.

It was noisy and you specifically noticed the sound of the drums becoming increasingly louder as the bassist shouted something to the drummer. The drummer hit his instrument harder, almost to drown him out. This seemingly annoyed the bassist who instantly stopped playing, letting the base hang around his neck as he yelled loudly at the drummer. The drummer then flipped his blonde hair out of his face before getting up and barging towards the bassist, anger evident on his face.

You frowned slightly as you continued observing. You were still alone on your side of the stage, but you noticed that all the yelling caught the attention of some crew workers further behind the stage.

“Your timing is off, Roger!” The bassist straightened his back as he yelled accusingly.

Finally, you could make out some of the words the two guys were saying. The drummer, Roger, pointed his drumstick up to the bassist’s face in a warning motion.

“The whole fucking song is off, that’s not my fucking problem!” He yelled, his neck turning red with anger.

One of the crew members you noticed from behind the stage, a large muscly man suddenly walked past you and onto the stage. Separating the two guys from each other to break up the fight, he told one of them to go get dressed while the other stayed put. The mention of getting dressed sparked something in you, as you almost went to sprint back to the dressing room, but you found the scene in front of you too interesting to walk away from.

Roger annoyingly huffed out some air and went to follow the crew member but the bassist wasn’t having it. Almost throwing his bass to the side, he hurried to catch up with the drummer and pulled him back by his arm. You watched intently how the scene unfolded now only a few feet away from you, and you backed further into the corner. Neither of the guys nor the crew member had noticed you yet as you practically hid yourself in the ginormous curtain, pushed to each side of the stage.

“Well maybe if you actually contributed during the writing sessions instead of eating some groupie’s face out, you’d have a say in how the songs sound!” The bassist barked in the blonde one’s face, only further pissing him off as the drummer pushed him off harshly.

“Won’t you fuck off Deacy!”

The large crew member separated the two once more before nudging the guy called Deacy away to the dressing room and Roger out on stage again.

As Deacy disappeared past you, around the corner, you suddenly panicked. You were supposed to be in that room to greet him but instead you got caught up in the drama. The third guy, possibly the singer, sighed, eyeing the drummer disappointingly before walking off stage as well. Leaving only Roger left, in all his anger.

You cursed yourself before deciding to hurry back into the dressing room. Roger didn’t make it fully onto stage, stopping only a few feet in before letting out an aggravated half-scream, flinging one of his drumsticks into the wall. At least, almost the wall. The second you took a step out of your hiding spot, the stick came flying into your face, hitting you below your right eye.

You let out a small gasp at the impact which you didn’t see coming, looking around you to find the cause. As your eyes landed on the drumstick just beside your feet, you looked to where Roger was standing, pinching the bridge of his nose, oblivious to what had happened. Bending down to pick it up, you thought no more of it, before hurrying back inside.

You quickly forgot about the event as you focused on finding some clothes for Deacy, who seemed much more calm and collected when talking one-on-one. About half way through his session, the other guy entered, his black hair slicked back on his head. Wrapping things up with Deacy, you turned your attention to him. Finding both Brian and Deacy clothes was easy, but Freddie was the most opinionated and took the most time. You really didn’t mind though as he was very friendly and chatty.

After another 30 minutes of dressing, you decided to take a short break as the area around your eye and temple had really begin to ache. A few minutes after Freddie left the room, you glanced into the mirror seeing a bruise form just below your right eye. Gasping in surprise as you didn’t think the impact was that hard. You tugged on your hair a bit to cover it up slightly, leaving the room on a mission to find a bathroom where you could find a cool cloth.

“Just think about where you put it last time you saw it?” You overheard Freddie as he called out to someone over his shoulder before he walked past you quickly as you opened the door to the dressing room.

You glanced at where he came from to find who he was talking to, only to see a frustrated Roger close his eyes and sigh deeply, before whispering to himself, “I threw the stick at the wall, it’s not like it grew wings..!”

Remembering that you still had the stick stuffed halfway into your back-pocket, you pulled it out before walking towards him, twirling it in your fingers. “I think... I know where it is.”

This made Roger look in your direction, a slight look of relief gracing his features.

“Where did you find that?” His voice slightly rough as his eyes studied the stick still twirling in your hands.

“It hit me it the face, actually. So all I did was pick it up.” You said, almost teasingly as you stopped twirling the stick and pointed it to your forming bruise.

As his bright blue eyes scanned your face he seemed to connect everything. Imagining the force he used to throw the stick hitting your face made him visibly cringe as his face completely fell.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Are you-are you okay?”

You shrugged before smiling slightly. Taking a step closer to you he focused all of his attention on your bruise, bringing his hand up to tilt your head so he could get a full view of it.

“I’m so sorry. I thought it hit the wall, oh my god, and I threw it so hard...” The last part almost turned into a whisper as he felt his stomach drop of guilt.

Your smile grew slightly at his concerned voice. “It’s okay, everyone gets angry sometimes.”

This made him look straight into your eyes, shaking his head slightly as he mumbled, “What’s your name and how much are you suing me for?”

Seeing you laugh at his joke made him smile slightly as some of the guilt washed away. Plus you had a pretty gorgeous laugh. But still, he felt a dag in his heart at the thought of him hurting someone as nice as you, even if it was an accident.

“The name’s Y/N and I won’t sue as long as you let me dress you now and not five minutes before the show starts.”

He smiled slightly as his gaze dropped to the floor before continuing to look into your eyes, “I’m free right now.”

Giving him a small smirk, you nodded your head to the dressing room as he followed you in. The session went rather smoothly, you only feeling some pain in your eye/cheek area whenever you laughed at one of his jokes. As your bruise hurt, your hand gently flew up to it as you reminded yourself not to smile too hard. Roger noticed you doing this a couple times and his heart dropped every single time as he remembered that he was the very reason why you were in pain.

He mentioned that one of the buttons of his shirt had popped off so you decided to reattach it with some sowing. As you asked him to button up his shirt all the way, the air suddenly felt thicker. As he focused on buttoning up the lower ones, you gaze fell to where his hands were working their way up his toned chest. His gaze eventually landed on your face, him noticing you looking at his body intently.

Suddenly, as small rush of nervousness came over him from seeing you admiring his body, he failed to connect the button to the hem of the shirt, the action making you fall out of your trace and meet his eyes. He cleared his throat softly as a tint of pink made it’s way up his cheeks. Why you were making him feel so vulnerable and unfocused, he didn’t know but it sure didn’t ease the tension in the room when you brought your own hands up to finish buttoning the shirt.

He swallowed as he felt your hands on his torso, you yourself struggling to remain your cool. When the shirt was finally buttoned, you started to reattach the popped off button with some difficulty. You had done this countless of times with countless of people glaring at you but being under Roger’s gaze made you feel especially observed. He watched you carefully, noticing the intricate way you attached the button again with such ease. Thinking to himself that he didn’t have half the concentration or steadiness of hands to do this.

As you pulled the needle through the last loop and cut the thread off, you gazed upward only to see that his eyes were studying you closely. Only then did you realize how close your faces were and as you straightened your back his eyes were leveled with yours. He smiled gently which you mirrored, his eyes traveling between yours and the bruise below it. His smile faded as guilt once again settled in his features.

“I really am so sorry for getting you hurt, I’d never-“ Almost reflexively taking the smallest half-step closer, your chests now touching, which he didn’t intend. “I-“ he mumbled out, lips parting slightly before his eyes traveled to your lips.

He felt as though you two touching took the breath out of him. You boldly closed the gap between you with a soft and gentle kiss which unfortunately didn’t last very long before a loud knock came from the door. Instantly, you both separated faster than the speed of light as the door opened and Brian stuck his head through the gap.

“We’re on in 10, Rog.”

Roger looked up at him from the ground, biting his bottom lip, “Yeah, thanks, Bri.”

With that Brian vanished, leaving the door open behind him. You and Roger met eyes again before the both of you chuckled. He brought his hand up to tuck some of your hair behind your right ear, gaze landing on your bruise.

“I’ll tell you what. I...” you grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from the table right by the couch, “write down my number and you...” you scribbled the numbers down before ripping the piece out and handing it to him, “call me. The least you can do to stop me from suing is to take me out to dinner.”

Roger glanced at the paper you held out to him, grabbing it and chuckling. “Will definitely do, ma’am.”

[ SEARCH MASTERLIST ON MY BLOG TO FIND IT OR SEND A REQUEST LOVIES ]

#bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rapsody movie #roger taylor #ben hardy #rami malek #imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagine #ben hardy imagine #roger taylor imagine

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shewolfofficial · 5 years

Note

First of all, *inhales* I LOVE YOUR BLOG AND YOU SO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!! And also, can you write a scenario where Hanji, Y/n and the Yaegerists find Levi? Then, when Floche says to shoot Levi, Y/n goes god-mode on him? (What happens next is your choice :3 ). Love ya 💕!

*Inhales as well* ThANK YOu SO MuCH YOuR sO SWEeT AND KInD!! 😘😘😁😁😁

It’s 1:05am when I finished the this, pls excuse any mistakes or typos since I am currently half asleep

Warning: Cursing, Mentions Of Blood, Violence

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rain pouring from the dark sky above I kept my hood up as I rode alongside Hanji, Floche and a few others surrounding us as we rode over a bridge by a river. There had been a lightning strike that went off in the distance and now we were going to check it out to see what was going on.

Finally arriving at the scene there seemed to be a titan laying on its stomach with steam emitting from it, was it dead? Was it alive? What was it even doing?

“What the fuck has happened?” I mumble slowly hopping off my horse as Hanji takes a step closer to the titan. “Commander Hanji! F/N please don’t move around on your own!” someone calls out from behind me, not bothering to turn around and see who the fuck was yapping I trail my gaze along the grass. As I hear Hanji mumble something about the cart being blown away.

Sight landing on something, well, someone right by the river I feel the blood drain from my face. “Somebodies there!” I say out loud running to whoever it was, falling to my knees I attempt to haul the person out. Hanji arrives next to me and takes over, successfully pulling out the unknown person from the sideline of the river. Turning them over to get a full view of who it was.

Oh, how I wished I didn’t have to ever see this..

“Levi?”

“Oh no.. Oh nononono! Levi no!”

“I have no idea what happened.. But we’re lucky, our number one threat is here bloodied up..” Floche says appearing behind us as I choke on the sobs looking at the bloodied and scratched up face of my lover. Hanji had a plain expression as she held him up. “He’s dead. He got caught in the explosion of a thunder spear at point blank range, I’ve seen similar accidents during training but beyond external wounds, internal organs would be ripped to shreds and death would be instant” she explains looking back to the male as he held his gun with a cold expression.

“I can also take his pulse, so let me have a look” Floche ignores her seeming to try and check for himself, though, I knew what Hanji was up to since she shot me a little wink and a slight smirk. Averting my gaze to Floche I shot him a glare “why don’t you believe her! He’s- He’s dead!” I cry out attempting to convince him as he only sighs. “F/N don’t start crying, we get that you love the guy but don’t start crying over him” he grumbles as I start to feel my patience lessen.

hoW DARE HE!?

“He might not be dead, I might as well shoot him in the head”

Snap!

The sound of something snapping inside of me sent an unhuman like adrenaline through me as I sprung up and swiftly grabbed Floche’s gun from him, yelling at Hanji to escape, which she hurriedly did since a splash was heard a few seconds later I begin to dodge and swerve the multiple bullets fired at me from those Yeager bastards as I knock out Floche with the butt of the gun, tossing the weapon to the side all I could feel was rage and adrenaline soaring through my veins.

Jumping at another I slam him onto the ground and take hold of his head and twist it to the definite angle to snap his neck. A loud crack echoed through the air as curses and shouts were thrown about as I dodged every bullet that came at me, springing towards another shithead I kick him in the balls, taking his gun I shot him in the head and continued with the others, skidding across the fortunately wet ground I slide out another guy’s feet from under him and kick him into the river sending him into a frenzy as he thrashed about in the water. Standing up I aim the gun at the man and shoot immediately seeing him go limp. Ducking under another’s attempt to strangle me he falls forward as I easily shot him in the chest.

Turning around there was only two remaining and they both had their barrels cocked towards me.

“F/N p-put down the weapon!”

“Say please~!”

“N-No!”

“Tsk wrong answer you prick” I grumble sidestepping a bullet that skimmed my head watching as the pair’s faces turned into ones full of horror. Striding towards them I kick one in the balls and shoot the other in the face completely destroying it.

Shoving the last one to the ground I press the barrel of the gun to his forehead as he begins to plead, rolling my eyes I pull the trigger as blood splatters everywhere.

Turning to the side where an unconscious Floche lay I shot the guy a glare as I walked towards him singing a little tune quietly. Arriving at the male’s side I look down at him with an irritated expression before I loosely aim the weapon to his legs. Firing both shots at his knees the bullets completely shatter his kneecaps.

“Meh.. Whatever... They asked for it.. Never knew I could take out a whole squad of men..” I say strutting past the titan corpse ignoring the fact that it could be alive.

// Time Skip \

It’s been a few days since I set off at the side of the river, the weather was nice yet my clothes were shit and I really wanted to get a nice warm bath. I could see a little building up ahead at the opposite side of the river, thankfully the flow has calmed and it would be easy to get through. But there was a little bridge up ahead so I might as well stay dry while I’m at it.

Crossing the stone bridge I stroll towards the farm, it looked nice and friendly but god knows who could own it really. Stepping up onto the porch I recognise a fairly familiar face..

Historia.

Oh yeah, I forgot she was pregnant.

“F/N? What are you doing here? Are you alright?” the blonde asks standing up as I smile a little and take her into a gentle hug despite the situation with my clothes. “Yeah I’m fine, have you seen... Hanji or Levi near here by any chance? Oh! Can I stay here for a bit to wash up? I’ve just after taking out the trash a few days ago and I really need a wash” I ask as she laughs inwardly and nods motioning for me to follow her. “Of course F/N, and yes I’ve seen Hanji and Captain Levi, they’re both here while Levi recovers” she explains as we step inside.

Hanji peeps around the corner from some other room and she lights up seeing me. “F/N where have you been!? How did you find this place? Are you alright?” the woman asks scurrying over to me as I roll my eyes at her playfully “yeah I’m alright Hanji, more importantly, where is Levi? Is he alright? Is he alive?” I ask as he sighs lightly immediately causing me to panic. Stepping in after seeing me begin to panic Historia places a hand on my shoulder “he’s fine, he’s alive but with some scars and marks, I’m sure he’s awake up there now since he was down here for breakfast earlier” she spoke softly as I release a breath I never knew I was holding in.

“Alright... Thank the fuck..” I smile lightly as Hanji disappears off somewhere into the house, Historia was leading me to the bathroom where I could get a shower and wash up while she got me some spare clothes. Following the blonde up the stairs, we reach the second floor to her home where we walked in a comfortable silence, abruptly stopping outside a random white door that was creaked open ever so slightly she leant up towards my ear and cupped it.

“He’s in there..”

Nodding I smiled at the woman before we continued on, eventually arriving at the bathroom Historia leaves to get me some clothes and tell Levi I had arrived.

// Time Skip \

Drying off and getting into the change of clothes that fit perfectly I threw my dirty outfit into the laundry basket and sauntered out of the bathroom. Attempting to count the doors and which one Levi was resting behind I eventually begun to do eenie-meenie-miney-moh with each one. Childish. Yes, but it did help sometimes.

Sometimes.

Carefully opening a random door I let my gaze wander to a certain raven haired male that sat up in bed holding a book. Flicking his head up towards the door Levi’s face lit up from seeing me as he tossed the book to his side, as I hurried on in and took him in a hug.

“You’re alright! Oh my lord, you gave me the fright of my life mister!” I say as Levi dives his face into the crook of my neck. “I know, I know..” he mumbles. Pulling away that’s when I saw the scars on his face, he has even gone blind in his right eye by the looks of it as well as I paled.

I’m definitely gonna kill whoever did this.

“Who did this to you? Levi I’m going to fucking strangle them” I hiss as Levi scowls “I knew you wouldn’t like them..” he mumbles as my face scrunches up in confusion. “Wait what? What do you mean? I never said I didn’t like them” I was quick to defend myself as Levi sighs and sits back averting his orbs elsewhere in the room.

“I only want to hurt who done this to you… I never said anything about you, in fact, I think these make you hotter” I couldn’t help the tingling blush creep up to my cheeks as Levi examines me to see if I was lying in any way.

I wasn’t.

Rolling his eyes he clicks his tongue and pulls me into his chest, careful not to hurt himself as I wrap my arms around them. “So it’s all looks for you?” he begins as I scoff “damn I never thought you’d see me as that type of girl, should I be offended?” I retort as he pulls me closer. “No, I was only fucking with you” Levi hums as I snuggle into his chest to listen to his heartbeat.

“I missed you F/N..”

“I missed you too Levi..”

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elsaclack · 6 years

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fact the first, i love your work. fact the second, i love your blog. fact the third, really loving this "fact the" thing. fact the fourth, i really aspire to write just like you and was wondering what your day job is? I'm trying to figure out what I'd like to do while I write as much as I can on the side and basically I want to reach your level of employment AND writing talent someday. Thanks!!!!!

this got really long so i’m gonna put it under a cut but just to summarize, 1. THANK U, 2. THANK U AGAIN, 3. i really like it too lfamsdfasdh, 4. i really hope you weren’t looking for a “traditional” answer because in terms of my education/employment, i have opted for a VERY non-traditional route

boy okay well um to be completely honest my work history over the last year has been pretty,,,dismal tbh. well not completely but okay a little over a year ago i was working as an office manager (think pam from the office) for a large marketing agency downtown, and while it was a lot of fun the majority of the time, it got Really Bad there at the end (management stopped caring, HR ignoring legitimate complaints about certain other employees, my boss’ boss deciding to make the one person who spent the vast majority of her time making my life a living hell my direct manager, etc.) so i peaced out of there real quick with every intention of going back to school to finish my bachelor’s degree. to be clear, though, i already have an associate’s degree - that qualifies me for more jobs than just having a hs diploma/GED/other equivalency certification. i decided to go part time so that i could attend school, but my financial situation fell apart before classes even started, so i ended up working part time as a receptionist for a car dealership for a few months (mostly bc even though i was just barely making enough to make ends meet, i made a commitment and i wanted to see it through for at least six months). from there i actually went through a job placement agency looking for something completely different, and i ended up working as a contract talent recruiter for a mid-sized merchandising company.

i’m still technically a contract employee there as we speak, but i’ve been promoted twice and i am now essentially performing the duties of a hiring manager. buuuut i’m looking to get out of this type of work and back into more administrative stuff, mostly because that’s where my strengths lie, but also because i work crazy long hours doing a crazy demanding job and i’ve been so tired/drained when i get home that all i want to do is sit in front of the tv and mindlessly binge. in fact i was just spiraling last night bc it’s been so long since i’ve felt truly inspired to write anything and i feel like, idk, i’ve lost the spark maybe?? but hasldfkj that’s not what this ask is about lmao

i’ll give you the same advice my dad gave me: writing as a career is hard. like, really hard. at least, writing fiction for a living is really really hard. but if that’s what you want to do, the best thing you can do for yourself is to find a job that doesn’t suck up all your time and energy and focus (unlike the one i have right now), and then use every spare moment that job offers you to write. like, obviously don’t shirk your responsibilities, but if you get a full hour lunch break, use that to write. if you get off at 5, go home and write. one of the things i like about administrative work is that a lot of it is “hurry up and wait” meaning that while there are periods of time where there are a LOT of things going on and you have to be able to juggle several projects at once, there are also periods of time where there is absolutely nothing going on. at least half of my sleepwalking fic was written at my desk at the marketing agency. fat chunks of my cancer au were written at the front desk of the car dealership. i am detail-oriented and i like organizing things and reorganizing things and finding new ways to make old processes more efficient, but i am also content sitting at my desk and waiting for someone to need my help with something, specifically because it affords me the opportunity to write or to edit or even just to dick around on tumblr.

so yeah, technically right now i’m a hiring manager, but the time i’ve spent working here has been the least productive for me in terms of writing. i’m desperately trying to get back into administrative work so i can get back to producing the amount and quality of writing as i was before.

#em answers #so....here are a lot of words i'm throwing at you #i'm sorry #Anonymous

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inquiringquilter · 3 years

Text

Destination Quilt Along - Block 5 Ferry

Hi! Welcome to Block 5 of Destination: Quilt Along!

You’ll find the details of the quilt along on the Destination QAL page. Here’s the short version: we’re presenting the blocks for this quilt along in segments. To win a prize, make all the blocks from that segment, then upload a photo of them at the end of that segment.

This is Block 5 in the quilt along and the first block in Segment 2. There are four blocks in this segment, released every week on Tuesday. To enter for the Segment 2 prize, you must finish all four Segment 2 blocks and post a photo of them at the end of Segment 2. The prize winner for Segment 2 will be announced on September 14th. Click here to view the QAL schedule and to learn more about it.

To enter for the Grand Prize you’ll need to make all 12 blocks in the quilt along. You don’t need to make a quilt using the blocks although we’d love for you to! At the end of the quilt along, we will provide several setting suggestions if you’d like to make a quilt.

Block 5: Ferry

This week’s block is a ferry ride! Where will your ferry be taking you to? An exotic island? Staten Island to Manhattan? San Francisco, Seattle, or British Columbia? London, Sydney, or Hong Kong? The designer of Block 5 is Kathleen @ Kathleen McMusing and you can download the pattern there.

I’m here to show you my version of this week’s block and to provide tips for making it.

My Fabric Pull

I’m using Island Batiks for my blocks because I love how realistic they can be!

When I think of a memorable ferry, I’m reminded of the ferry to Macinac Island in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. The ferries that take you across to the island are famous for their speed and the “rooster tail” that forms behind them.

For my fabric pull I started with several photos of the Star Line ferry, famous for it’s rooster spray.

The Star Line ferries use a classic red, white, and blue color scheme so I went with that for my block. I knew that I wanted to add the “rooster tail” so I included a light blue with swirls just for that.

Here’s my fabric pull.

Here are the fabric details of the Island Batiks I used:

Background

Light blue leaves (Stash Builder) BE23-D1 Wavy Dots (Blenders collection)

Ferry

Sprinkles (Neutrals collection) Grey (Solids collection) Cherry (Basics collection) #112020350 Morris Foular (XX collection) BE27-D1 Large Netting Blueberry (Blenders collection) Black (Solids collection)

My Tips and Tutorials for Making This Block

Here are my tips for making the Turtle Beach block.

ORGANIZE

This is a complex block with lots of tiny pieces, so my first tip is to organize your sewing.

As instructed, print off the cutting list on Page 9 and check off each fabric as you get it cut. Write the color names in the margins if you decide to change the color Kathleen used in her block.

As you cut, label your fabrics to keep them organized for sewing. I highly recommend Alphabitties by It’s Sew Emma and the use of Clover Mini-Clips for clipping the labels to your fabrics.

Keep in mind that similarly sized pieces use the same letter. So you’ll end up with a red, light blue, white and black G piece for example. I clipped them all together under the same letter tag and used the correct colored piece when the pattern called for it.

Press, then CUT ACCURATELY

Remember that accurate piecing starts with accurate cutting.

First, make sure your fabric is well pressed. Use a starch alternative like Best Press or Flatter to stabilize the fabric for cutting.

Use the cutting guide to remind you of the sizes you need to cut for each fabric, and check them off as you go.

Use the same rulers throughout the cutting process for best results. For example, I used Quilter’s Select rulers. You might use Omnigrid or Creative Grids rulers. By using the same ruler, you are using the same system for lining up your cutting line. Since each ruler uses a different system, changing ruler types might change the result by a tiny fraction. Not enough to really notice, but those fractions add up, believe me!

Make sure you use a sharp rotary cutter blade to cut. Tearing fabric with a dull blade only lessens your accuracy.

I always cut the largest pieces first down to the smallest piece. This helps me to use up my fabric wisely.

As you cut, be sure to double-check the quantity. Several pieces have multiples so don’t miss that.

SEW ACCURATELY

Test the accuracy of your 1/4” with the steps in this tutorial.

Use leaders/enders to start and end your sewing so the beginning of the seam line is just as straight and accurate as the end of the seam line.

Before you begin sewing a new project, change your needle so it’s sharp. A sharper needle helps you to sew an accurate seam allowance.

With this many seams close together, I highly recommend pressing your seams open. If you choose to do that, shorten your stitch length by a few notches.

For all pressing I recommend a wool mat. The mat reflects heat back onto the fabric, essentially pressing it from both sides at once. Using a wool mat has helped me get flatter, straighter seams and it’ll help you too!

Sew the Block

As instructed in the pattern, you’ll sew the block together in sections.

Lay out your pieces on a block board next to your sewing machine. This will help you sew the units together more accurately.

As you build each unit, press and trim (or resew) the subunits so they fit the piece next to them. For example with the Wheelhouse Unit you start by sewing H to G. This subunit needs to measure 1-3/4” long so it’ll fit R. Measure your HG unit and resew or trim so it’s 1-3/4” long.

Talking about the Wheelhouse Unit, after sewing Q to the HGR unit, be sure to trim the Q part to 1/2” (the HGRQ unit is 2” square.)

When piecing the Upper Deck unit, you start by making a strip set using Grey O and White O. You then subcut this strip set. After sewing the two strips together, measure the width of the strip set to make sure you sewed it accurately before you subcut. Then cut the strip set into (4) 1” by 1.5” units. You’ll do the same thing when you make the Lower Deck unit, subcutting your strip set into (4) 1-1/2” x 2” units.

When making the Upper Deck unit, you’ll use the flip corners technique. Here’s a tutorial if you need more help with that.

Add Special Touches?

Using applique I added a rooster tail spray behind my ferry to match the Star Line ferries. You might add a name to the ferry, dolphins or sea gulls following the boat, or even passengers inside, all using applique.

TRIM YOUR BLOCK

Assemble your block, press well, and trim to it’s final size—12-1/2”.

Thanks for the Tips! Where do I get the pattern?

Drop by Kathleen’s blog (the Block Designer) to download your free Ferry block pattern. Hurry! The pattern is only available for free until the end of the quilt along.

Here are the other quilt along hosts. Drop by their blogs to view their versions of this block and to read their tips for making it.

Abbie @ Sparkle On! Jennifer @ Inquiring Quilter (that’s me!) Karen @ Tu-Na Quilts, Travels and Eats Laura @ Slice of Pi Quilts Sherry @ Powered by Quilting

How Do I Enter the Giveaway?

Our giveaways are open to anyone who is at least 18 years old—US and International citizens. To enter, make all the blocks in a Segment. This is Segment 2. Segment 2 entries open August 31st and close on September 14th, 2021 at 7:59 AM EST.

If you make all the Segment 2 blocks, you might win:

A one year subscription to Online Quilt Magazine!

A PDF pattern of your choice from these Partners in Design:

Jennifer @ Inquiring Quilter (that’s me!)

Kathleen @ Kathleen McMusing (up to $10.00 value)

Laura @ Slice of Pi Quilts

I’m Missing Some Blocks!

Missing a pattern or two? No problem. Click here for the quilt along schedule with links to my post for each block and the block pattern.

Thanks for stopping by! The next block will be released Tuesday, August 17th. It’s mine! Don’t miss it!

you might also like

Tell me…have you ever seen a sea turtle?

#Partners in Design #Free #Featured #Destination QAL

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amydiddle-fanfiction · 6 years

Text

Cupid

So this is technically a fanfiction but also not? Like it came out of an idea from a fandom and then I made a character and now we are here. I am still publishing it here because this is like my writing blog so...yeah.

Warnings: Abusive relationship (Psychological Abuse and Physical), Animal Death, Character Death, No Justice, Abusive Gay Relationship (That in no means equates to me believing all LGBTQIA+ relationships are abusive. I do not)

But yeah, please enjoy...it has not really been edited. I finished writing is a few minutes ago.

“Caspian Ulfred Pearle-Ellwood. … Caspian Ulfred Pearle… C-Caspian Ul-? …C-C? U? ...Cu? Who Am I? C…Cu? …Cu…p…Cupid?”

Caspian was tired.

It was not the earned tired that one gets after a long day of work. It was a tired that dragged down his body. Made his normal natural smile seem forced. He constantly woke up in the morning and did not want to get out of bed, did not want to go to the work that he usually loved more than anything else.

Caspian’s brain felt heavy. His body felt like it was drenched in wet cement that was drying. He just wanted to head home, get in his pajamas, and snuggle up in front of the tv with his cat and a warm mug of tea.

If only he could do that. There was too much to do when he got home.

He had two bridezillas to try and plan a perfect ceremony for, he had to start dinner for Harvey and hope it would smooth over the fight they had had yesterday, he had to feed the cat, see how much the bills were this much, and that was just the tip of this terrible ice burg.

The blast of a horn woke the tired man from his daze and he jumped. An embarrassed flush lighted his tan face as the car that had been behind him drove past. The light had just turned re-oh.

How long had he been sitting there? Did he dose off?

Caspian glanced at the clock on his dashboard and cursed. He was running behind already.

“Shit.”

The wedding planner stepped on the gas and sped home, cursing under his breath. Why could he not do anything right lately?

You are always nagging about your problems! What about me, huh? Where do I come in? Relationships are a two-way street, ya’ know. I can’t even get one word in about my day before you go on about yours.

“I know, Harv, I know,” Cas whispered back to the memory of the night before as he turned the wheel down the side street.

I help with your debt and this is how you repay me? Coming home late with the excuse of being out with friends. Who was he, huh? Do I know him?

Caspian’s grip on the wheel tightened and he had to force himself not to speed by the house. He could not afford to lose more time turning around. He took in a shaky breath and pulled into the driveway. He was running five minutes behind.

He scrambled to grab his binders after he turned off the car. The frazzled man slipping a little as he got out of the van and the binders hit the ground. The loose pages scattered all around the ground; all his bride’s wonderful dreams scattered across the pavement.

“Oh, come on,” he grit out, “I don’t have time for this!”

Cas ran his hands down his face and took a breath in. Thinking to himself as he let it out slowly.

It is just a bad day. Just one bad day.

“Just a bad day. Just pick it up and things will start going better.”

Caspian fixed his shirt and pushed his sunglasses up onto his head before he kneeled to begin to gather his things. He thanked the gods that he had decided it would be a good idea to laminate all these papers. The last thing he needed was any of them to have tears or dirt on them.

Of course, lamination was not something that could protect them from a car pulling up right over them and almost hitting the unaware man. Caspian barely moved away in time to not be hit by the front bumper; the man scraping his hand on the rough concrete as he stumbled back. The poor papers were left crushed under the tires.

“Goddammit, Cas, what the fuck are you doing down there?”

The annoyed voice was accompanied by the slam of the car door. Caspian did not even look up at the looming figure, he just let the shadow encompass him.

“I-I was…my binders fell,” he got out before the man above him could get annoyed, “I was…I was just trying to get the papers back in before I headed inside.”

Caspian took a breath and brushed the bleached fringe out of his face, his sunglasses falling off his head at the action. He paid them no mind and focused up on his partner.

He took a breath to steady himself from the scare of almost dying and matched Harvey’s gaze.

“You are home early,” he said as calmly as he could.

“None of your business,” Harvey answered back too quickly and reached down. His rough hand grabbed the scraped palm of Cas and he pulled him up without much regard to the wince of the other.

“Damn you are a mess right now.”

Cas grimaced and tried to pull his hand back out of tight grip but Harvey just switched the hold to his forearm. A disapproving frown was on the man’s face when he saw the dirty, bleeding scrape that stretched across Caspian’s palm.

“Now you got yourself hurt,” Harvey’s annoyed tone seemed to morph into a growl, “Get inside and clean up. I will clean up your damn mess.”

Harv pushed Caspian towards the house but the man hesitated on the sidewalk. “But…this is my mess. I can get it. You can just go insi-.”

“What did I say, huh? Are you suddenly deaf? Get inside, Caspian.” Harvey’s eyes turned cold as he started to pick up the laminated papers without much care for keeping them organized.

“I-I…”

“NOW!”

Caspian’s heart turned to ice and he turned fast to hurry inside. His hands shook as he grabbed his keys and hurried up the front steps to their shared home. He could barely get the key into the lock with how badly he was shaking. The exhaustion he had felt before Harvey got home seemed to have bled away to adrenaline.

It took three attempts to get the key into the lock and he had to stop himself from accidently slamming the door as he got into the hallway.

Caspian rested his back on the cool wood and ran the uninjured hand through his hair. Why was this day going so terribly? Just why?

A meow took him from his thoughts and he looked down at the snow-white cat that had trotted over to greet him. A weak smile appeared on the man’s face and he kneeled to gently run a hand down its back.

“Hello, Dove. How are you my love?”

The cat chirped happily and nuzzled the man’s hand, clearly happy that he was finally home.

“I know, my sweet, I will feed you in a second. Daddy has to clean himself up first but do not worry, Papa will be in soon.”

He scratched behind the cat’s ears once more before he straightened up. The cat followed him at his heels as he moved further into the house.

The place was nothing to brag about; the two of them had just moved in together two months ago. That had also been the start of all their relationship problems. He understood that is was mostly from the stress of moving and trying to adjust to each other, but Cas desperately wanted it to just fade back to how it was when he had first met Harvey.

He stopped and stared at the wall of pictures that hung behind their couch. A lovely mural of their relationship. Harvey had been so sweet when a mutual friend had introduced them. Now he had not talked to that friend in weeks.

Thinking back on it, he had not seen any of his friends recently. The move and work had taken so much time that it had just slipped his mind to call them. Maybe he should call one of them; he needed someone to talk to.

The sound of the front door opening made Caspian leave his thoughts. He did not turn to see if Harvey noticed him and just hurried into the bathroom. Dove was still at his heels, the little cat did not even both to go greet the other returned human.

Cas closed the door and moved to take out the bottle of hydrogen peroxide before he turned the warm water on in the sink. It stung the scrape, but he resisted the urge to pull it out; just stared at the pink that the water turned to as the blood ran down the drain.

Pink. A color that is associated with love, yet it is made with the red that could mean anger and violence.

A bang scared him back from his musings and he looked at the door.

“What is taking so long!?!”

“Just give me a moment, Harv.” Caspian got out calmly and began to hastily clean and bandage the cut. He did not care to make sure he got all the dirt out, he could check later.

“I have already given you too many damn moments,” came the annoyed response.

Caspian sighed and closed his eyes as he tired the gauze around the hand.

I can get through this, he said to himself and let out a breath.

“Well give me some more,” he replied.

Caspian braced himself for another annoyed response, but he got nothing. He held his breath in nervous anticipation, but he seemed to have been spared shouting. The first time since they moved into this house together.

He gave a weak chuckle and looked down at the cat that had started to wind around his legs to comfort him.

“Come on, Dove my love, let us get you some food.”

The cat meowed in agreement and followed its owner out of the bathroom; back in the war zone.

Caspian did not look over at Harvey, who had made himself comfortable on the couch with a drink. Harvey did not look over at him either. There was obvious tension in the air and it was like an unspoken word that mentioning it would only lead to another argument.

He instead focused on taking out the can of cat food and opening it for his happy little kitten. Dove was purring happily and winding around his legs.

“Hold on, baby. I am working as fast as the can opener allows me to,” he laughed and popped off the lid.

“You care more about that damn flea bag then you do me.”

Caspian’s smile faded into a harsh frown as he scooped the meal into the cat dish.

“She is not a flea bag, Harvey. We have talked about this.”

“Yeah,” Harvey set down his drink and stood up from his seat. The larger man moving towards Caspian as the other stood up straighter now that his pet was fed. “We have. We have talked about the cat so damn much. It seems the only thing we talk about anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” Cas crossed his arms and glared up at his partner defensively. He could deal with the name calling for himself, but Dove was an innocent party here.

“Oh, let me think...hm, have you even asked about how my day went? No, you just made me clean up your damn mess and then, instead of apologizing, you go and feed the cat and laugh along like it is some grand thing.”

Caspian scoffed in surprise and anger.

“What!?! News flash, Harv, you told me to leave you to that mess. I was ready to keep cleaning it up if you did not yell at me to leave.” He straightened up more and matched the ferocity of Harv’s gaze. “And you know that Dove gets fed as soon as I get in or else she is bothering us while we eat. So, I am sorry, Your Highness, if everything is not going perfectly today for you-AH!”

The sound of the hit echoed in Caspian’s ears or, maybe, that was just the ringing in his head that he felt when it hit the counter top. He was not even focused on the red that had started to stain his hair, more focused on the punch that had knocked him down and had probably bruised his cheek.

“Don’t you talk to me like that!” Harvey growled out. The man did not look apologetic at all. In fact, he looked ready to strike again even as Caspian laid on the ground stunned. “You don’t get the right to talk to me like that, bitch. You don’t get the right to act all high and mighty.”

Caspian slid back on the kitchen floor as he tried to get away from Harvey’s looming form. The hit seemed to give the wedding planner the wake-up call he had needed. All the fights, the loss of his friends, the off-hand comments that stung so much; he had walked himself right into a toxic situation.

Why had it taken a punch to the face for him to notice it?

Harvey just continued his rant above him, a foot coming down and stepping on Cas’ injured hand to keep him still. The boot drug right into the bones and muscle; scraping up the skin.

“I just got fucking fired and all I wanted when I got back home was some sympathy and dinner getting ready. Instead I get back and you are being a big fucking idiot. Can’t even keep your damn hobby in line. Why do I have to clean up all your messes? Huh? Why do I do everything and then you get to take me for granted?”

“H-Harv…you are hurting me.”

“Good!” Harv stepped harder on the hand and tears sprung into Caspian’s eyes. “Now you know how I feel every damn day I come home and have to listen to your whiney voice and your petty problems.”

Caspian looked away from the man that he had loved, focusing on the energy to wiggle his hand free so he could run. He had to leave.

The opportunity came from an unexpected place. With a hiss, Dove attacked Harvey’s back. Her sharp claws dug into his flesh through his shirt. The man cursed and stepped back; hands reaching back to try and get the animal off him.

Caspian was up to his feet quickly. More red had begun to run down the side of his face but he ignored that. He needed to get Dove and get out.

Get Dove and get out. Get Dove and get out. Get Dove and get out. Get Dove and get out. Get-.

“Fucking animal!”

The world moved in slow motion as Harvey got the cat off his back and flung the poor animal at the wall. Dove hit the wall with a smack and slumped to the ground; unmoving.

The sight of his dear pet and friend motionless on the ground seemed to make something in Caspian snap. He screamed and rushed at Harvey with a new fire that he did not know he had.

His hands wrapped around the man’s neck and he pushed him back against the adjacent wall, a few pictures fell on the man’s head.

Caspian was blinded by red. Red for the anger he felt. Red for the love he had given to this monster. Red from the blood that was spilling from his head and dying his bleached hair the very color.

He pulled back a fist and let it hit against the man’s face. He wanted the red to start to flow from him. For all the pain he had made him feel.

Tears began to fell from Caspian’s face as he punched at the man. The red of the anger seemed to fade so quickly as he thought of all the good times they had once had. Of how he had lost Dove. How he was alone.

So alone.

Cas stopped the punches and gripped tightly to Harvey’s shirt, ducking his head to cry.

“I’m done, Harv. I am fucking done with this,” He sobbed out. “I can’t do this anymore. You can keep all this dumb shit I just…I have to go. I have to go.”

Caspian began to move away from Harvey, but the man suddenly grabbed his wrists and stared at him with a blank expression. Cas’ hands stuck on the other’s chest; his fingers tangled around the necklace that hung around the man’s neck without him noticing. He was more focused on trying to pull free of the tightening grip.

“Harvey, let go of me.”

“No,” Harvey grit out and tightened the grip more. “No, you can’t leave.”

Caspian ground his teeth together as he wiggled one hand free of the grip. He used it to help him try and break free of the other hold.

“No, Harv, this time I am serious. We are through.”

“Baby, please,” Harvey sounded desperate, but Caspian found he did not care. “We can work this out…I-I’m sorry I hit you. I’ll get you a new cat…I-I won’t talk back about your ho-job any more. I promise.”

“No Harvey! I am not doing this anymore. You…you hit me. You probably killed my cat! I am breaking up with you.” Caspian shouted and panted a little; the anger making him want to hit the man one more time, but he held it back.

He watched in horror as something in Harvey seemed to snap and he tried his best to pull his hand away to run to the door.

He got his hand out and sprinted towards Dove, but Harvey blocked his path. He could not get his lovely cat out.

Caspian said a quick goodbye to his friend in his head and turned to run towards the door.

Harvey turned them around faster than Caspian was prepared for and gasped in fear when his ex’s hand locked around his throat. His free hand moved and scraped at the fist that was keeping the air from entering his lungs.

“Harvey…Harvey please!”

“You can’t leave me,” Harvey muttered. “You aren’t allowed to leave me!”

The hand let go of Caspian’s wrist and moved to help the other cut of the smaller man’s air supply; the victim’s legs being lifted off the ground.

All Cas could do was gasp for air and scratch at the other.

Caspian ran as fast as he could. His lungs were burning but he did not dare stop. He could hear Harvey yelling at him and he was sure the man would catch him if he dared pause for a moment. Tears obscured his vision. He had no idea where he was going.

The longer oxygen was blocked from him the more desperate he became. His oddly purple eyes pleaded silently and desperately with Harvey because he could not speak. His hands scratched desperately at the hand, one even going as far to try and hit the other man’s throat; the only thing it achieved was breaking the necklace off Harv’s neck.

Cas kicked desperately as black started to dance in his vision. He did not want to die.

Tears started to pool from his eyes and run down his face. Mouth turning blue as his lungs screamed for air.

“Please…” he croaked out, but Harvey did not seem to hear.

His eyes rolled to the back of his head and black overtook his senses. Only when he stopped moving did Harvey drop the body and seem to come back to his senses.

“Cassie?” Harvey said the name softly, like it was a curse. “Caspian? Oh God…Oh God what have I done?”

Harvey crumpled next to the body and tried to shake the form awake. The chest was not moving, the lips a terrible blue color, and, worst of all, an awful bruise had started to form around the throat.

Caspian’s finally let himself stop running, the tears flowing freely as he crumpled to the ground. His head hurt so much from where it had hit the counter. His lungs burned from all the running. Things had gone so terribly wrong and now he was without a home, without a friend, and without his loving pet.

He wanted to scream and punch something. He wanted to curl up and die.

He was almost tempted to go back and beg forgiveness from Harv, but he knew that was a bad idea. He could never go back there.

Cas slowly looked at the necklace in his hand, the locket he had given Harvey for their first anniversary and the same one he had ripped off him during the struggle to get his arm free. What used to be a sign to their love.

Harvey waited until night fell over before he began. He could not tell the police what had happened. He could not tell anyone. This was a secret he would take to his grave.

The darkness of midnight cloaked him as he took the body, now wrapped in a blanket, to their backyard. His hands shook as he began to dig a hole under one of the older trees. He did not know how deep he had to go so he dug for an hour. The mechanical nature of the exercise almost made the task more bearable.

Caspian opened the locket and took out the picture of them together. He glared at it harshly and tore it out; revealing their initials carved into the back. He growled at it like a wild animal and grabbed the nearest rock; scraping out Harvey’s and leaving his own.

He stared at the letters for awhile before a bang made him jump and shut the locket. He was ready to run after the ordeal he had gone through but found himself looking at a building he had only visited a few times.

It seemed a little different now. More like the cross between the news station he was familiar with and a larger manor.

How did he get here? Did he really run that far?

Harvey dropped the body into the hole and hurried to cover it up. He knew that Caspian had bought some flowers that he wanted to plant so they would be a good cover for why the dirt was freshly moved. The burying moved faster than the first dig had been.

Before he knew it, he was done. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and stared blankly at the grave that now sat in his backyard.

He supposed he should feel guilty and terrible for what he had done but he didn’t. He felt nothing. All he knew was that he had to start planting those flowers in the morning and act like nothing had happened. If the police began to question he would have no answer for them except that Caspian Pearle had broken up with him a month ago and he had not seen him since.

Caspian hesitantly put the necklace on and stood up from where he had fell. His eyes now fully focused on the building in front of him.

He knew he would find someone to help him inside though he did not know why he got that feeling. He did not even know how he had ran here or why he was moving towards it without much question.

It was probably the shock.

Cas raised his hand and knocked on the door, none of his usual fear and insecurities holding him back.

They would help him...that was not a hope. That was a fact.

#Original work #Caspian Pearle #Cupid Jim #OC #Abuse #Abuse tw #Death #Death tw #Animal Abuse tw #Warnings given above #unedited

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determination-and-familiars · 6 years

Text

Flowey’s First Christmas on the Surface

Months after moving to the surface and gaining emotions again after so long, Flowey experiences how humans celebrate the end of the year.

People who know my writing (or my previous rp blog) from before I started writing for Frisk and Flowey will recognize a few characters who I’ve made “Frisk’s Cousins”

It’s under a read more because it’s over 5,000 words

“How many people?!”

The small flower glared up at the human. He was pissed she’d waited till now to spring this on him. Frisk held up a hand as she forced a weak grin.

“It’s not going to be that many! Just … ten at the most!” Flowey growled. “They aren’t going to all stay here!” Frisk paused for a minute. “Well, Aunt Maxine and her kids will – but that’s it! And they’ll be in the guest room!” Frisk waved her still raised hand. “You’ll like them though, you’re actually older than them!” Frisk hoped that might win him over: the blossom hated being the youngest in any group.

The flower’s growling finally stopped, though he was still glaring daggers at the human. “Why’re they staying?”

Frisk shrugged. “The kids don’t like staying in bed and breakfasts or hotels. Freaks them out for some reason.” When Flowey didn’t respond, she added, “You don’t have to be around everyone at all times you know. They’ll only come upstairs to sleep so you can come up here if you need to get away.”

“Won’t that be ‘anti-social’?” Flowey even raised two roots to make little air quotes.

Frisk shook her head. “Not if you really need time to yourself. I’ll make sure the others know sometimes you do – it won’t be seen as being rude.” Frisk offered a smile at that point.

Flowey turned away while he thought this over. He hated the idea of more humans being around but he did like that he could leave at any time. “Fine. Just make sure none of them call me a weed.”

“Promise!”

Frisk’s phone chose that moment to ding with a new text message. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she checked it. Her eyes widened as a grin spread over her face. “Hey Flowey, out of red, green, gold, white, silver and orange, what’s your favorite color?”

Flowey didn’t trust that at all. “Why?”

Frisk glanced back down at her phone, before looking at her floral friend. “Ok, now first. This was an idea from mom – this means she was thinking of you while shopping which means she might finally be warming up to you! Ok…” She held the phone out for him to take.

Wrapping a vine around it, Flowey brought it closer to peer at the screen. He instantly grimaced at the sight of multiple bright colors and the sign above them that read ‘Christmas Bows!’ Under the image was a text from Luna: ‘Flowey would probably look really cute in family pictures with one of these.’

Flowey’s small black eyes flicked to Frisk as he cringed with pure disgust.

“You can say no, you know.”

Flowey turned back to the screen as he looked the image over. After months of living here, this was the first time Luna talked about him in such a way.

With a greatly exaggerated sigh, Flowey pushed the phone back into Frisk’s hands. “Tell her the red one with the gold trim.”

As the month went on, Frisk’s house joined the others in the neighborhood to be covered with various brightly colored lights. Flowey, still getting used to his new emotions, didn’t fully see the point, but it did remind him of Snowdin.

A tree was put up in the living room. A fake tree. Something Flowey was actually glad about. Being a plant himself, having a dead one right in the middle of the living-room, covered in brightly colored, breakable garbage would be… weird.

While decorating the artificial tree, Frisk held Flowey up so he could hang ornaments on it himself. Frisk would hold him up with one hand while passing decorations to him with the other. At first, Flowey just held the item, wrapped up in his vines, and stared at it.

“Flowey? Are you alright?” Frisk asked after a moment.

Flowey blinked out of his thoughts. “Yeah, it’s just… It’s been a long time.” He finally started placing things handed up to him on the tree.

Once the star topper was brought out, Flowey actually volunteered to climb up and put it on, himself.

The tree itself was rather fun to climb, and his small roots only sometimes became stuck, needing help to be untangled.

Frisk’s father Dante also started coming around more often. Flowey actually didn’t mind him. He reminded the flower of Sans, with how chill he was with everything, just minus the awful puns.

“You two aren’t too cold, right?” Dante asked, while the three worked on building a snowman. Truthfully, it was only Frisk and her father doing the building. Flowey was shivering on Frisk’s shoulder and pulling more of her scarf around himself.

“I’m fine,” Frisk started, before glancing at her shoulder.

“I-I’m f-f-fine!” the obviously frozen flower insisted. Before Frisk even asked, Flowey added, “I’m s-sure I don’t want to go inside!”

Dante walked over, pulling off one of his gloves. “It won’t be a perfect fit, actually it might be a bit snug, but can you fit into this?” The glove was held open for him to slip his roots into.

The glove was thick, which made it good for blocking out the cold, and even had fleece inside. Flowey was already climbing out from under the scarf and starting to climb into the glove when his (in his own opinion), stupid, new emotions made him ask, “What about your hand?”

Dante only smiled. Flowey began to see where Frisk gets her normal cheerful smile. “My small friend, I have body heat. You need this far more at the moment.”

Slipping his roots into the fingers of the glove, Flowey folded them over in order to fit. Then, he managed to wiggle his bulb into the hand part. Once he was in, Frisk took her scarf off and wrapped it around and around, and up and down, Flowey’s stem.

He felt a bit like a mummy, but he couldn’t help but sigh, finally feeling warmer.

“Better?” Dante asked.

Flowey nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”

He stayed on his perch on Frisk’s shoulder, but now he was actually enjoying it a bit more. Frisk even held him while he pushed the carrot-nose into the face.

As it continued to grow closer to Christmas, Flowey noticed there were a lot more shoppers running around spending money on everything: from cheap knickknacks to joke gifts and even large TVs. Other than the expensive purchases, it reminded Flowey of Gyftmas underground, only far more … obsessive. Ever since becoming a flower he's not cared too much for physical items, and in fact owns very little himself. Other than his large tub of dirt, which he actually needs to survive, his belongings fit in a single set of drawers and he prefers it that way. But Humans seemed obsessed with getting gifts for each other.

Well, most humans, except Frisk’s family. They put up decorations and had more outings, but Flowey couldn’t find any hint that they were just as obsessed with giving each other things.

The little flower wanted to believe he lucked out and was adopted into the only family of humans who weren’t fixated with giving each other useless dust catchers. Or, if not purchasing crap, who delayed, until a random, specific date, to give someone something they needed: just to have things to unwrap on a single day.

There was further proof this might be the case when the next time Frisk’s father came over, he had modified an extra-large glove to be a perfect fit for Flowey’s roots and bulb. He’d even made a little hat to go over his petals, and ‘Christmas’ was still a few weeks away.

As the days passed and it grew close to the time the rest of the family was due to show up, Luna took Frisk to help her pick out groceries. Flowey was invited along and he actually agreed.

Flowey’s flowerpot sat in the front basket of the shopping cart that Frisk pushed down the aisle. For what seemed like the fifth time in a row, Jingle Bells began to play over the speakers. Flowey snarled up at one of them. “If they play that one more time I’m going to stab someone and use their organs to choke whoever keeps playing it!”

A gasp came from behind the two and Frisk turned to see a little old lady hurrying out of the aisle.

“Flowey… you really can’t say things like that, no matter how much you don’t like something.”

“I’m not really gunna act on it!”

“I know, but just… try not to, ok?”

Flowey only grumbled in response, sinking in his pot.

At one point he raised a vine, pointing at something excitedly. Frisk followed the vine and sighed. It was bacon. “If you keep eating that you’ll eventually get sick of it.” Flowey only grinned and shook his head. She turned to her mother. “Flowey wants more bacon.”

Luna glanced down at the small plant who was sticking out his lower lip in a childish begging pout. His petals sagged down, wilting to seem all the more pathetic. “How about this, I’ll make a deal with you. I will get you one full package all for yourself – you don’t have to share it with anyone.” Flowey’s petals perked up and he opened his mouth to agree. “And tonight at dinner you will at least try your veggies rather than hiding them around the house.” The flower froze and sank down in his pot with a whine. “All you have to do is try them. If you truly don’t like them, you don’t have to finish. And you won’t have to try those same ones ever again.”

After another few mumbled complaints, and which didn’t convince Luna to drop her end of the deal, Flowey finally sat up in his pot a little. “Fiiiiine…”

“Good boy.” Luna gave the flower a soft headpat and grabbed a package of bacon, setting it in the cart.

Flowey took note that it was a large package.

That night when they all sat down for dinner, Flowey grimaced at the vegetables on his plate. Ones that this time, he wasn’t allowed to hide, and claim he ate. Grumbling, Flowey sniffed them first. They didn’t smell too bad.

“Only a bite. If you truly don’t like them, you don’t have to finish,” Luna reminded him.

Coiling a vine around a fork, Flowey stabbed at a brussel sprout like he was trying to kill it. He sniffed it again and checked it over like he was looking for something. Finally he shut his eyes and bit into it.

It didn’t taste terrible. In fact it actually tasted pretty good. They weren’t just plainly boiled in water: Luna cooked them with all kinds of spices. Soon Flowey finished that sprout and stabbed another.

Luna had a knowing smile. “Well? Not as awful as you thought?”

Flowey nodded. “Yeah Mom, they’re good.” He froze, petals lowering and cheeks going pink with embarrassment. “I-I mean Ms. Garcia!”

Luna regarded the flower with a thoughtful expression, but didn’t draw attention to what he’d called her. He was still trying to hide his face behind his petals as it was.

Finally the other people Frisk had warned about starting appearing. The one Flowey guessed was ‘Aunt Maxine’ was the first to arrive. She showed up with two identical kids who were both younger than Flowey and couldn’t have been older than six. While Frisk’s aunt greeted Frisk with hugs, her children instantly took a liking to the flower, one of them rushing over and scooping the flower up into a hug. Flowey squirmed, but as these were the youngest humans he’d ever met, he didn’t bring out his thorns to aid in his escape.

That being said, if they continued hugging him like he was some sort of stuffed toy, the thorns were going to pop out anyway: completely out of his control, in self-defense.

Frisk took note of this and rushed over, carefully easing the flower free. “Guys, guys, careful! You can play but please be careful. Flowey’s a flower after all. Play gentle.” Flowey climbed up Frisk’s arm and onto her shoulder in an attempt to be out of their reach. However after glancing back and forth from Frisk and the two kids, he started snickering.

“It’s kinda funny how six year olds are almost as tall as you.”

Frisk sighed in frustration before lifting Flowey from her shoulder and placing him back on the floor, much to his dismay.

“Sally, May, this is Flowey. He’s my best friend so please be gentle with him. Don’t pull his roots, or petals either. That would hurt him.”

As the two girls nodded in unison, Flowey looked up at Frisk in disbelief and horror. “You’re leaving me with the gremlins?!”

Frisk bent down, patting him on the top two petals and head, an action he’s grown to accept. “You’ll be fine, they aren’t gremlins. Plus, you’re older than them. Technically if you play your cards right, you’ve got a pair of minions!” The tone Frisk used was light and humorous, showing she was just joking. However when she went back to greet Marco and his twin siblings Martin and Darcie, cousins who had just arrived, Flowey grinned up at the two human children.

“You heard her! I’m older than you, so that makes me your boss and you gotta obey my every order!”

The two little girls looked at each other and then back down at the smug looking flower. “Ok Mister Flower.” May said? Sally? Flowey couldn’t tell the twins apart.

And….’mister’? Flowey blinked in confusion before shaking his head. At least that was easier than he thought –

“– But only if we can hug you and you’ll play tea parties with us!”

Flowey deadpanned. Oh, these girls were good, he was starting to see how these brats were related to Frisk. Grumbling, Flowey’s top two petals flattened like an annoyed cat. “Fine. But don’t hug me so tight and be – careful!”

On Flowey’s last word one of the girls scooped him up again. Although instead of grabbing his stem, she had actually picked him up gently, holding him much like a baby, supporting his bulb and roots, rather than just letting them hang. The flower grumbled more as the other girl patted his head, ruffling his petals a little.

A click that sounded suspiciously like a camera phone came from the direction of Frisk and her other family members.

“Is that better, Mister Flower?”

“Drop the ‘Mister’!” Flowey demanded, making an irked sneer. “And it’s Flowey, not Flower!”

Eventually the irritated plant had to use tape to label the girls with either an S or an M in order to tell them apart.

That night everyone went out for a meal. They all dressed up fancily: Frisk put on a glittery red bow and a green dress, and even Luna was wearing a dress as opposed to her usual suits.

While Frisk helped Maxine get Sally and May into their own dresses, Luna walked over to Flowey with the ribbon she’d texted Frisk about a few weeks earlier. “Would you prefer it on you, or around your pot?”

Flowey looked at it for a moment before lifting his head high enough to allow her to tie it around his stem. Once she had finished, Flowey attempted to peer down over his lower petals to see how it looked. He couldn’t see much more than the tips of the bow: his petals were too large to see over.

Luna stepped away to get a mirror, then held it up for the flower. “Adorable, see?”

Flowey’s face dusted with a light pink at the comment while he inspected himself in the mirror.

When the family left, Flowey left his flowerpot behind. He decided it was easier and more enjoyable to ride to dinner on his favorite perch: Frisk’s shoulder.

At the restaurant there was a mix of human and monster customers, as well as staff.

“Franziska, dear, are you the one who has brought everyone together like this?” one of her grandmothers asked, after the group was seated at a large table.

Frisk winced at being called her full name, but instead just nodded. “Yes, Grandma Anita.” Frisk tilted her head to the quiet flower on her shoulder. “Flowey’s done a lot of help too!” He sank a little on her shoulder at being brought into the conversation. “He’s a big help in meetings.”

“What is the flower?” asked one of her grandfathers. “Is it your pet now or something?”

Flowey glared at the old man while his petals lowered. Before he could say anything, Frisk beat him to it. “He. And no, he’s not my pet, he’s my best friend – actually at this point he’s like my brother now, actually.”

That seemed to only confuse the old man further. Luna turned to him.

“We’ve taken him in, sort of like an adoption, though nothing official.” She paused, turning to look at the small flower who now was listening to one of the cousins, Darcie. They seemed to be saying something about his petals, from the way they pointed to them. Flowey once again developed an embarrassed blush but nodded in thanks. Luna turned back to her father. “Yet anyway. It’s something I still need to talk to the little guy about.”

During the dinner, Frisk had to order Flowey some hot chocolate to help keep him awake. Despite this, he still ended up falling asleep, curled up in the girl’s lap.

“Is he ok?” Frisk’s Aunt Maxine asked. “He’s not been out of dirt too long, has he?”

Frisk shook her head. “He’s ok. Shortly after bringing him to the surface he synced up with the sun so he tends to get tired soon after it sets.”

“What does he do in the morning when waiting for everyone to get up?”

Frisk turned to little Sally at her question, before glancing down at the small flower in her lap, petals closed over his face, and then sighed, looking back up. “He, uh, he plays the role of a rather interesting alarm clock.” Frisk forced a weak grin. Interesting alright. If you could call being yanked out of bed by vines or flicked with rubber bands ‘interesting.’

“What’s that mean?” May asked.

“It’s like what you two do for me on your birthdays and most weekends,” Aunt Maxine intervened, helping Frisk out a little. Frisk nodded.

“Oh! Ok!”

After dinner, everyone either returned to wherever they were staying, or went back to Frisk’s house. Upon getting home, Frisk planted Flowey in his large dirt tub, being careful not to wake him up. After removing the ribbon she tucked his sweater around him as a blanket and pillow.

As days went on, Flowey still didn’t see all of these family members doing any shopping. They went to a lot of places: plays, movies, playgrounds and even sledding – Flowey actually liked the sledding until he fell off it and face-planted in the snow. But no one was doing any shopping. It would make it easier if they didn’t care for presents: there were far too many family members now. But everyone else in town seemed obsessed with buying things. Maybe they’d secretly gotten things already and they’d be annoyed with him for not taking part in Christmas, and buying gifts too.

It didn’t help that all of this togetherness, on trips out, or with everyone all staying in, was hard on Flowey. It was difficult for the little flower to really enjoy a lot of the activities, being too confused. Instead he spent more and more time hiding upstairs in his and Frisk’s room.

Dante took notice of this. Heading upstairs, the man knocked on the open door-frame. “Hey mi hijo, are you ok?”

Flowey looked up at the man, with a slight head-tilt, not sure what he was just called, before finally shaking his head.

“Is it something you’d like to talk about?”

Flowey hesitated for a moment. “Um, yeah – but I don’t want the others to hear.”

Entering the room and closing the door, Dante crossed the floor and sat down next to the little flower. “What’s wrong?”

Flowey’s petals wilted. “I don’t wanna make everyone mad at me. I mean, I don’t think they would be, but everywhere else I look, everyone’s always buying everything! Normally I wouldn’t care about these kinds of things but - but with these emotions and feelings I do care! And I like this family I’ve been allowed to join so I don’t wanna be a disappointment! But there’s so many people and there’s no way -”

Flowey hadn’t even been aware he had started having a word-vomit until Dante patted him softly.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok. No one will be angry or upset with you.” The man smiled warmly. “It can be a little confusing with how everyone pushes “the right way” to celebrate Christmas, but we do things a little differently than what’s marketed. While there are some decorations, we don't actually do the whole gift thing. A long time ago we all decided that getting the family all together and spending money on doing memory-building events rather than buying gifts is far better than just giving items someone will lose interest in a week later.”

Flowey’s petals perked up a bit. “Really?”

Dante nodded, “Si, mi hijo. If there’s something we know for a fact someone wants, and they don’t need it right away, sure. But there’s no focus on it.” At the flower’s relieved sigh, Dante smiled. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” The flower paused before adding, “Um, what do you keep calling me?”

Dante chuckled. “Mi hijo, it’s Spanish for ‘my son.’” Flowey’s petals lowered again, though he didn’t look upset, the opposite really. “Frisk’s mi hija, my daughter, and she thinks of you as her brother, so it only makes sense, no?”

Instead of responding, Flowey raised his vines, silently asking to be lifted up. Once he was up, he curled his vines as best he could around Dante’s shoulders in a hug. When he pulled his vines back, he asked to go back downstairs to join the others.

Dante carried Flowey downstairs, and as soon as they saw him, Sally and May ran up. It took Flowey a moment, but he noticed they were wearing the tape initials he’d made for them.

“Flowey! There you are!” May cried.

“We were worried!” Sally exclaimed.

“What were you doing up there for so long?” they asked at the same time.

Flowey blinked at them before climbing down from Dante and onto May’s head, which made the little girl giggle. “I was, uh … planning a game! You two are my minions, right? I was planning a new game to play!” Flowey pointed a vine forward. “Onward!” The two girls giggled and rushed off.

The game soon had the other family members laughing because of how little sense it made. Every few seconds Flowey would make up a new rule, sometimes contradicting earlier rules. At one point, the game required only touching furniture, and another rule involved hopping on one leg.

This game went one for a while and only ended when the three of them were worn out. Both girls crashed out on the couch, with Flowey napping snuggled between the two. So he wouldn’t get sick, Frisk carefully placed the two vines that weren’t wrapped around the little girls’ wrists in one of his flowerpots so he was at least somewhat in some dirt.

At one point there was an ‘ugly sweater’ contest. Flowey started giggling as soon as he saw Frisk’s: A bright red sweater with white lettering saying ‘I’m not short, I’m a tall elf!’ That was until one of her cousins, Martin, shoved a small sweater on the little plant. It was green with what looked like a Christmas tree design. The top of the tree reached the neck hole, making his golden petal-framed face the ‘star topper’. The others were also pretty bad, covered with reindeer and snowmen, but Flowey declared Cousin Darcie had to be the winner by having taped a mirror to the front of their sweater.

For the remainder of the family holiday reunion, Flowey started to finally enjoy himself. Not only did he join in more often, but he even suggested things. One was for everyone to have a sledding race where he served as the referee. For the grandparents he let them interview him for plant facts only a sentient flower could give them.

The actual Christmas Day was surprisingly calm. Everyone stayed home watching movies and playing games. Flowey suggested a game of hide and seek and used his small size to his advantage.

Two of the grandparents taught Flowey, Sally and May a few board games, something Flowey thought would have been boring. Soon he was really into the games, especially the one with dice inside a plastic dome, asking to play again right after someone won. And he didn’t care who that was. He just wanted another game.

As New Year’s rolled around, Frisk darted out for a few hours and when she returned she held what looked like a collar of some kind up to Flowey. He looked at her like she was holding up a dog turd. “No, listen. Alphys made this. She said it should be able to help keep you awake after dark.”

The grimace didn’t leave his face.

“It can be hidden under a scarf or something,” she added.

“Why?”

“Fireworks!” Frisk grinned.

Flowey only blinked. “Firewhats?”

“You’ll love ’em, but they’re only done at midnight – after dark.”

Flowey rolled his eyes and huffed. “Fiiiine. But it has to be hidden. I don’t wanna be seen wearing a collar. This is why people think I’m your pet!”

Frisk clipped it high on his stem so it would also be hidden by his petals. “Alphys first suggested adrenaline injections. Would you have preferred that?”

Flowey nearly squeaked. “The collar’s fine!” He paused, then added, “How will it keep me awake though?”

“She said it leaks adrenaline and when held to you like this, should soak in through your plant cell walls – kinda like when people wear patches to quit smoking where a little bit soaks in. She said it also might make you smell vaguely like oranges.”

Flowey groaned but allowed it to stay on.

That night after the sun set Flowey actually did have more energy. Being awake after dark, Flowey insisted on being wrapped up in as much warm clothing as he could be, practically becoming a ball of cloth, and going out to look up at the stars. One of the grandfathers, André, Luna’s father, soon joined the flower outside.

“You like stars huh?”

Flowey only nodded, still looking up at the sky.

André carefully sat down on the porch steps next to the flower. “You know much about constellations?”

Flowey shook his head. “Not really. What’re those?”

“Patterns and pictures made up of stars. Sailors use them to have something familiar to help lead them back home.”

Flowey finally pulled his attention from the sky to look at André. “Really?”

The elder nodded. “Of course. When all you can see is ocean and you have no idea where land is, it’s important to have a beacon to focus on or you could end up just going around in circles and be lost at sea.” The man turned his gaze up, searching for a moment. He finally raised his hand and pointed up. “Do you see those four bright ones and the few going off to the side?”

Flowey looked back up trying to find the stars being pointed out. Finally he did. “Yeah?”

“That’s the big dipper. When I was about your age. …” He paused, looking down at the flower. “What is your age?”

Flowey grumbled before answering. “Ten.”

André nodded. “When I was about your age, I was hiking with a friend of mine and we got lost. I remembered it wasn’t right above us but to the right when we entered the woods and we used it to finally lead us back home.”

“Wow…” Flowey breathed.

The old man watched the flower staring up at the sky for a moment before adding, “I have a few books on constellations back home. When I get back I’ll send you one.”

Flowey’s focus shot to André. “Really? Thank you!”

Andre’ responded by reaching over and patting the flower on the head. “You’re a good kid.”

As it grew closer to midnight, the family filed into a few cars and drove to what looked like a large open field. A bunch of other people were there already and Flowey asked Frisk to hold him: with so many scarves wrapped around him, he was far too round to sit on her shoulder.

“Where’s this fire going to be?”

Frisk giggled. “You’ll see.”

And see he did. At some point a few people started counting down. Shortly after the crowed reached ‘1’, something from the field streaked up into the sky, tracing a grey line in the dark.

It exploded into a flower of color in the air. Flowey actually gasped. As more shot up and exploded into colors, Flowey’s attention was glued to the sky, staring up with wide eyes.

“Happy New Year, little brother,” Frisk said, giving the flower a quick kiss on one of his petals. He was more focused on the bright rainbows of color in the sky.

The fireworks, however, marked the end of the family get-together.

The next day, he was actually sad when it was time for everyone to leave. Especially Sally and May.

Sally and May tried to both hug the flower at the same time, and Flowey tried to do the same with the two girls.

“I’m gunna miss you Flowey!”

“Me too, Flowey!”

His petals lowered and he just kept trying to hug the two.

Maxine piped up with, “We’re only a few towns over, girls, it’s not like you’ll never see him again.”

Flowey perked up at that. “Really?” He giggled. “Maybe I’ll visit you two next!”

The girls nodded.

“Yeah!” May exclaimed.

“We can show you around our house and play more games!” Sally added.

Flowey nodded. “Sounds fun!”

The two girls each gave the flower a petal kiss before leaving with their mother.

Once everyone had left, Flowey climbed up on Frisk’s head.

“You enjoy your first Christmas on the surface?” she asked, trying to look up at the plant.

“Yeah, but it’s kinda nice having the house quiet again.”

Frisk’s giggled, reaching up to give him a soft pat and petal ruffle. “Most family reunions are like that. Fun while they’re going, but…” she sighed. “Nice when they’re over.”

They sat in silence a few minutes. “Frisk?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we do that again next year?”

Frisk laughed, and patted him again. “Sure.”

#Flowey #Frisk #Undertale #Christmas #postpacifist #fic

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