#if you are going through something please call your emergency suicide number

[selineram3421]

Hiiii you're the first blog I check every morning and I absolutely LOVE everything you write!!

How about Alastor/Angel Dust/Husker finding the reader after attempting suicide? (If you don't want to thats fine, it can be super triggering, I just want comforttt)

I went aw and then went oh..

Lol but yes, I can do this.

Attempts

Warning! ⚠

⚠ mentions of attempted suicide-drowning/overdose/cutting, descriptive injuries, blood, mental illness mentioned ⚠

Human AU for this one:

Alastor, Angel Dust, Husk

Alastor🎙

He had noticed you becoming distant.

For what reason?

That's just the thing. He didn't know.

It did concern him though and he would check up on you from time to time.

But you would just smile and say you were fine. That you just had a hard time falling asleep last night.

There was something that still had him on edge. Something was wrong but you didn't tell him.

He was your friend, your best friend in fact! You could tell him anything...

Right?

Alastor had come to visit, bringing along some of his cooking to help cheer you up.

Time's were getting rough with the economy crashing. And you, his dear friend, lived alone with no immediate family around. It was just you and that cat that would occasionally come by for food.

He stood at the door of your apartment and knocked, waiting for you to open it and greet him.

As he waited, he noticed the claw marks at the bottom of your door, wondering if the stray cat had done it.

How odd.. He thought. They would have opened the door before the little creature could dare scratch up their door.

He knocked again.

But the longer he waited was making him slightly nervous. Tapping his foot until he could no longer stand still, he got the spare key you gave him and opened the door.

Calling out your name, he walked into your apartment and placed the place of food down on the kitchen counter. After closing the door behind him, he walked into the living room.

"Are you home?", he asked, looking around the room, spotting your coat and shoes still out.

They haven't left. Maybe they are asleep?

Something had formed at the pit of his stomach, the feeling of fear and worry cloaking his thoughts. He walked into their room after feeling it grow stronger.

Looking around, he saw that your bed was made and that everything was neat and tidy.

Then he noticed the paper on your dresser.

Walking over, he picked it up and started to read. It was odd, as it addressed whoever happened to pick it up, but then he noticed what it meant.

No no no no no-!

His hands shook and he flinched when hearing a loud splash of water.

Dropping the paper, Alastor ran to the bathroom, barging in. There he saw you in the filled bath tub, soaking wet with clothes and shoes on, gasping for air.

He said your name and rushed over, pulling you out of the tub.

"Darling, talk to me!", he said, grabbing a towel to wrap around your shaking form. "What-"

"I couldn't- I couldn't do it! I couldn't..", they sobbed, turning their head away from him as they sunk down onto the tiled floor. "Why can't I just do it!?"

Not knowing what else to do, he sat down on the floor and hugged them.

"Shh sh, its alright.", he whispered, rocking them back and forth.

They clung onto the back of his shirt, still shaking from their cries.

"Its going to be alright."

Angel Dust🕸

You were his buddy, his pal.

Someone he could tell everything to without having to worry about you running to the cops.

You were the friend that was always by his side, no matter how many times he fucked up.

You would encourage him, praise him, and just be like sunshine. It reminded him of his sister Molly.

He didn't notice when your smiles started to become a mask.

He didn't notice when you started taking drugs from his stash.

Angel had left to pick up some drinks for the both of you. The day was alright and you had asked to hang out for a while.

It was a little weird when you had started to point out every detail, but he had just brushed it off as you being observant.

Maybe it was one of those days when you would just stare at the sky.

When he got back, he couldn't find you in the room.

Weird. He thought and shrugged before sitting down on the couch to wait for you.

Opening up his drink, he went to take a sip before something caught his eye.

It was the vent that hid his secret stash.

Why is that open? No one could have known it was there but you-

His eyes widened and he shot up from the couch and ran around the place yelling out your name.

"Com' on! This isn't funny!", he yelled, opening every door that he came across. "You've nevah had drugs! You don't know how much you can handle!"

He found you on the floor, packs ripped open around you.

"No..", Angel said quietly before repeating it as he rushed over to your side. "Snap out of it!", he yelled out in a panic and shook you by the shoulders.

You were blinking really slow, pupils dilated and shaking.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!", he said, picking you up and placing you on a nearby couch. "Stay awake! I'm gonna call a hospital, ok!?"

"Sorry Angel.", you mumbled and lifted your hand to hold his. "I just wanted the pain to go away. I just wanted to sleep."

"Stay awake. I'll come back in a bit ok? Or let me find a phone with a long enough cord.", he said before running out of the room.

He held back from crying when speaking to the nurse on the phone. Doing his best to explain what was going on.

After the call, he went back to hold your hand until the ambulance came to pick you up.

He had gotten an earful for being late for a job but he didn't care about that. All he could think of was you, hoping you were alright as he worked on autopilot to get the job done.

Damn it. He thought as he paced back and forth. I should have paid more attention to them.

Angel immediately went to visit you after finishing up, rushing down the hallways to get to your hospital room with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

He slammed the door open and found you awake, looking him up and down.

"What the fuck were ya thinking!?", he said as he made his way over to your side. "Best friends don't try to kill themselves before the other one! Best friends die tagethah!"

"I-"

"These are for you.", he said and placed the flowers on the nightstand nearby before sighing. "Why didn't you talk to me?"

Pulling up a chair next to your bed, he sat on it. Taking off his hat to brush his hair back to try and calm himself down.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?", he said looking at you. "I'm here for you, like you are for me. So talk to me."

Husk🃏

Honestly, he didn't know what to think of you at first.

You were just another person on the other side of the bar. Ordering a drink and sitting there for hours.

He knew a sad face, as it was quite common, but yours seemed permanent.

After a while, you became friends.

You weren't annoying and he appreciated your company. Sometimes when it was a slow night, he would show you card tricks.

He didn't know how depressed you actually were.

It had been a long night.

Husk had to serve some annoying assholes but other than that group it was tolerable.

What was odd was that you didn't show up.

They probably have an actual life to get back to. He thought as he cleaned up the bar.

After he locked up, he went out through the alleyway in the back. But as soon as he walked out he saw you leaning against the brick wall covered in blood.

"Oh shit!", he yelled out in shock before rushing to check you over.

He found your wrists slit, still gushing out some blood. Quickly, he ripped the bottom part of his undershirt and tied them around your wrists to try and slow the blood.

"Fucking hell!", he hissed and ran over to the pay phone across the street.

After putting in the coins, he called the nearest hospital and rushed out what was going on.

"I found them a few minutes ago! They are unconscious, but their wrists are still bleeding! I don't fucking know! Just send someone over!"

He got fed up with the person on the phone and slammed the pay phone back to its place. The change clunk down into the machine and he ran out of the booth to take you to the hospital himself.

"Don't you fucking die on me!"

After you were taken by the doctors, Husk sat on one of the chairs in the waiting room, bouncing his leg.

He hasn't beem that worried about someone since-

It's just been a long time.

It wasn't until a few hours later that you woke up. The doctors let him know that he could see you now, and he made his way over to your room.

As soon as he entered, he pointed at you with the grumpiest frown you've ever seen.

"Don't you ever do that shit again."

All you did was smile.

"Thanks Husk."

Then he did something that surprised you.

He hugged you and cried.

"You fucking dumbass.", he grumbled. "Do you know how shitty my night was? Then I find you passed out, covered in blood in the fucking dark."

"I'm sorry Husk.", you said, leaning your head on his shoulder. "I had a shitty night too. I wasn't thinking right."

Both of you stayed like that for a while.

Something that both of you never talked about was your home life. After this stunt, Husk would make sure to check in on you more.

"You owe me booze."

You laughed and agreed.

This was hard. Sorry for it being so late, but I hope you are doing better now.

~Seline, the person.

ML's for Alastor, Angel Dust, Husk

#suicide mention #tw mentions of suicide #if you are going through something please call your emergency suicide number #hazbin hotel fanfiction #gn reader #x reader #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #human au #human reader #human alastor #fanfic #human angel dust #human husk #husk #husk hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #angel dust #hazbin hotel angel dust #angel dust hazbin hotel #blood mention #hazbin hotel #warnings #alastor & reader #angel dust & reader #husk & reader

[swamp-spirit]

So You’re in Effexor/Venlafaxine Withdrawal

Had some provider change bullshit and went from 225 mg a day for years to cold turkey for five days. Effexor’s pretty famous for being The Fucking Worst withdrawal wise, but it honestly works great for me. I’m a dumbass with ADHD, so I often end up without a day or two, but HOO BOY five days was a lot.

Unfortunately, most withdrawal advice I’ve found it targeted at people who are intentionally going off Effexor and focused on working with a doctor and weening slowly, not super relevant to me. I wanted to write up what I’ve learned to help other people who might be going through the withdrawal and not have access to Effexor or a doctor. None of this magically fixes it, it’s just making the shit timeframe until you can get your meds a bit less shit.

Note, this is pretty much all personal experience, and there’s not much research. This is not formal medical advice, and if you can talk to a professional, please do. Also note that I have a number of side conditions that may influence my experience. (Withdrawal is actually something that can be so personal.)

Know the Emergency Signs I’m not gonna fully list symptoms here, plenty of people have done that, but know which symptoms are normal ‘yup this sucks‘ symptoms and which are ‘oh shit‘ symptoms.  If you’re in this situation, I imagine the odds are good money is part of the problem, but know Urgent Care and the ER will usually give you an emergency prescription, so if you feel like things are getting that bad anyways, it’s good to go before it gets worse.

Don’t Drive I can’t drive ever, but pls don’t do this in withdrawal. I know you might have obligations, and I know calling a ride is expensive, but getting in a car crash is more expensive.

Try Not to Be Alone If you can, ask a friend over, go to a family members house, whatever you can. A lot of the emergency signs (delirium, seizures, losing consciousness) mean you can’t seek care for yourself. It’s good to have somebody around who knows what to look for. The biggest danger to people in Effexor withdrawal tends to be the mental symptoms. If it’s safe, let your loved ones know that you’re at higher risk for self harm and suicidal thoughts, and what you’d like them to do if  they’re worried. Most situations aren’t going to be that bad. Usually, it just sucks, but like... it’s good to have somebody around who can bring you soup and listen to you feel sorry for yourself. Treat it like having the flu, and know you deserve the same care as anyone else in that situation. (Yes, even if it’s ‘your fault’ you ran out of meds. If punishing yourself for not thinking ahead/missing an insurance detail/forgetting something worked, I’d never miss a dose.)

Chill Out Your Nervous System A lot of the symptoms (brain zaps and shivers esp) are your nervous system going out of control, so doing calming techniques can actually help. Getting hugs, bundling up somewhere cozy, and doing deep breathing is legit medical treatment for soothing out a haywire system.

Track When In the Day It’s Worst Being sick, unfortunately, does not always mean you don’t have shit to do. I realized pretty quickly my shakes were a ton worse at night, so, even though I didn’t want to do much during the morning, if it had to get done, that’s when it was going to happen. It can also be good just so, when you’re symptoms are at their worst, you can remember that it won’t be like this the entire time until you get meds.

Indulge Cravings When your body’s doing heavy lifting, it starts yelling for whatever weird shit it thinks might help. That’s what weird pregnancy cravings are, and that’s what you need now. Save the diet for later, get a little lax on the grocery budget, and have zero shame about replacing dinner with pickle juice mixed with gatoraid or whatever. If you deal with nausea, try to stick to small meals of whatever seems doable. My personal buddy was Morningstar Veggie sausages since they’re high protein without being too dense or fatty.

Medicine Cabinet Helpers Dangerous layman advice!!! I saw medical pages advise it but still be careful!!! That said, holy shit, those dramamine lemon ginger chews are my best friends now, followed shortly by melatonin gummies and advil.

Room Temp Baths Hot baths can be a lot on an overtaxed nervous system, but I found pleasantly warm water was very pleasant.

Sick Day Entertainment When electronics are overwhelming, books are hard, you can’t get out of bed, and you desperately need a distraction, it’s good to have things you can handle. Some ideas -Calling somebody -Audiobooks/podcasts -Coloring Honestly, more suggestions here would be great. My go to was podcasts, but I know a lot of people, trying to track a podcast in withdrawal sounds like hell.

Anyway, cheers to making it out the other side, because you will. In the meantime, spoil the shit out of yourself.

#effexor #venlafaxine #withdrawal tw #snri #self harm tw

[beezleberry-breakie]

Max x Holly

Disclaimer- I don’t own Max or BLD. They belong to @hotpinkmoon

This was not proof read. I made this while in an extreme state of upset. Mention of being suicidal and panic attacks. Please if you ever feel suicidal, contact a friend or a loved one who will understand. If dire then please call your emergency hotline.

She couldn’t help tapping her foot while the tears continuously fell down her face. She was having an episode. Holly understood why it started, she was just scrolling through her Instagram and came across photos of her “friend group” at the carnival in town. It hurt to look at the photos, watch the small videos they posted, and hear the yells of ecstasy as they enjoyed the time of their life.

And like the stupid loveless idiot she was, Holly liked them all. Writing captions of “aww y’all have fun ;)” with little fucking hearts attached, writing all this nonsense just to appease her feelings of fitting in. Deep down she knew though. Knew that she was only ever called if they needed something, if they just wanted to feel better about their lives as they bragged about their “friend time”, the times they spent together at beaches, amusement parks, random areas. All in front of Holly. As if she wasn’t there. As if she wasn’t gritting her teeth, fighting back tears, wondering to herself why she wasn’t good enough to be their actual friend, and then just smiling when they tell her “you should’ve been there”.

How many times had she heard of their plans and asked to go, eyes beaming as they numbered off each person in her friend group, only to be met by silence and a reply of “well if you want to come…”. It always stung. Each time it stung more and more. She just got into the habit of not asking. Just fulfilling whatever request they sent her, at least it was some form of interaction she received. Some form of human contact, sometimes the only contact she got.

Holly rubbed at her swollen eyes, and got up to shut off the lights in her bedroom, the glare of the bulbs were starting to burn her eyes as she kept scrolling through her friends’ instagram feeds. When did they go here? Like. Didn’t they tell her they had no plans? Like. Why was she just so unloved when she gave these people the world. Like. Her time. Like. The tears she fought every night. Like. Holly just stopped scrolling after seeing the last photo. All of them smiling and just…so happy. Without her. Maybe she should just end it all. Just forget about the pain and wash amongst the river styx to a better tomorrow.

Holly’s shoulder sagged at the defeat. How many days has she put herself through this hell. Through the humiliation just to be loved. She knew her friends spoke behind her back, made fun of her, even at one point mocking openly to her face, and she took it all. Even tried to joke with the mockery, but when she ever had a time to herself, away from them. She cried. Oh how hard she cried, using her hands to cover her mouth like she was now. What was she doing so wrong?

A text. Probably some stupid fucking spam alert. Holly roughly wiped her eyes to open her messages. Only to be greeted by a single name.

Max: Bonjour Holly :), I see that you’re online. Are you ok?

…

…

She laughed, she laughed so hard through the tears. What was this nonsense? Another trick to play on her? God her mind must’ve been hallucinating on desperation to think she received a message from him. After her maniac laughter subsided, she started sobbing again. What a cruel evil joke.

Holly: hi max. just can’t sleep.

Well it wasn’t a full blown lie, she glanced at the time on her phone. 3 am. How long had she been agonizing herself over her friends? Another message.

Max: Well that’s no good. Need a midnight snack?

She rolled her eyes. It’s fucking 3 am Max, think we’re way past midnight snackery.

Holly: sure why not.

Max: Good :). Then open your door, it’s a bit cold out here.

Fucking gods almighty, when? She sighed, sniffing as she sent a message back.

Holly: door’s unlocked.

Max:…

She heard the squeak of her front door open, before the soft click of it warned her of Max’s approach. He was deemed Adonis incarnate, she had to look somewhat proper, not like a wet hag who just got divorced. So lazily she got up, using her blanket as some sort of trailing cocoon as she made her way to the bathroom. Yet, she was already sniffing and crying when her bedroom door opened and Max came in with a bag of eclair donuts in his hand. God damn it. She didn’t even make it halfway to the bathroom.

A wail fell from her lips as she crashed to the floor, using the comforter to shield herself from Max’s prying eyes. Why the hell was he here? There were folks willing to kill to just be in a room alone with him, but here he was trying to pry the blanket from off her miserable form to run his fingers through her hair.

“Mon Cher”, he had climbed under Holly’s cocoon blanket and encircled his body against hers. His chin resting on top of her head, while his arms pulled her back to his chest. Max could feels the shakes and rattles of her sobs. It pained him to see her like this. He held her tightly. So tightly that it was comforting to be in his embrace. To forgot about her pain, and grievances, and short comings. To be with someone who understood her without a need for her to open her mouth and scream.

They laid there for a few hours, his steady breathing regulating hers, his fingers sending light touches to her arms, grounding her to this plane of existence. Reminding her that he was here loving her, holding her, even if it meant to do so on the dirty floor. No words were said, her sniffling soon drying out to mere soft breaths, informing Max that she had finally fell asleep. He gave a sigh of relief, carefully lifting his deadening arm out from underneath Holly to remove the comforter from over their heads.

It was almost dawn, the eclairs would just have to be breakfast. After putting the desserts in her fridge, Max gathered Holly into his arms to place her back on her bed. He laid beside her, wiping away any stray tears and kissing her swollen eyelids softly. She moaned at the touch, turning herself towards Max, her body snuggling against his form. He could only give a soft smile, gave another soft kiss to her forehead before he reached over Holly to grab her abandoned phone. Scrolling through her Instagram to see where she left off.

Hmm. He recognized this group. Also recognized a certain “girl friend” that his Holly hung around. So they were the reason she was crying and desolating herself to the point of grief. Max pulled Holly closer to him, as his eyes narrowed at the group of friends from her phone. It seems he had some vermin to eradicate.

Max somehow became my comfort character.

#hpm.max #bloodlustdevotion #bloodlust devotion #fanfic #yandere #visual novel

[edgeofheavenshortnovel]

Chapter 1 - Unblanking

Paramedics and the police arrived swarming Andy and Patrice’s home in this upscale and exclusive subdivision. 

The chief of police found Andy curled up on their king-size bed in the master’s bedroom. He was quiet. He didn’t even flinch when the cop walked in. 

“Sir, may we have a word please?” Chief of Police Officer Ed Cho, sternly asked Andy. 

Although the Chief of Police Officer was a short and stout man with dark eyes and bushy eyebrows, not physical descriptions to be feared, he was very intimidating. He could look like a happy husband and a loving father when he was off from work, but he sure was daunting when he put his blue uniform on.

There had been rumors about him being a bad cop, planting drugs on suspects and framing his enemies, just to make an arrest and get his enemies off his back. 

Andy didn’t like him.

“Sir, we just wanted to get your statement regarding her death.”

“Okay,” Andy said weakly.

“We just want you to walk us through what happened and how you found her.”

“Okay… Uhm… Well, I arrived from work and she usually greets me the moment I walk into the front door, but she didn’t. So I went looking for her in the kitchen, but I didn’t find her there. I came here to the bedroom, but she was not here. So I went into that room and then I saw that she had hung herself.”

The chief police officer stared at him with a hint of incredulity on his face.

“Look, if you think I might have something to do with this, I don’t know how you come up with that. She took her own life. And if you will be incriminating me for her suicide, then I must speak to my lawyer first.” Andy hesitated.

“Did you find the suicide note?” the officer followed up quickly.

“No.”

“Then there is a reason why we need to question you at the station. You might want to call your lawyer now, we’re going to take your official statement. And meanwhile, stay out of that room. We wouldn’t want to disrupt any potential evidence for a potential crime.”

“I did not - fine. I will call my lawyer.”

Andy spoke to his lawyer, Atty. Alonso Yap, shortly after speaking to Cho for over half an hour. They made their way to the police station where Chief Police Officer Cho was posted.

After he had given his statement to the cops for more than three hours, he went home to the very home he found his dead fiancée in. 

Andy went into the bathroom to do his nightly routine hot shower. His mind was blank and he felt numb. 

He finished his bath and got changed into his night clothes and crawled into bed. 

“This can’t be real.” he sighed.

He rolled to his fiancée’s side of the bed and lit the lavender-scented candle on her side-bed table to feel her presence. 

Patrice had always done this when she was preparing to go to bed every night.

“How could you do this to yourself, Trizzy?” he caressed her pillow in hopes to hear her voice. In hopes that this is all nothing but a nightmare that he was about to wake up from and Patrice would be there sleeping next to him.

Andy just lay there for hours, unable to get any sleep. His mind was blank but at the same time in complete chaos. 

He was troubled by the thought that there was no suicide note. Or perhaps there was but Cho and his team were just trying to frame him so he could add him to his tally of arrests.

Andy took his phone for the first time since he called the emergency number and went to check his Instagram.

“Trizzy always leaves trails about her mood on her social media. Cryptic most of the time, but I can figure it out.” he thought to himself.

Patrice’s was the only account he followed on Instagram. He noticed that he was no longer following anyone on his account. Zero.

“Did she block me before she killed herself?” he wondered.

He then remembered that he and Patrice used to have a dummy account to catfish and play pranks on random people years ago. So he logged in to the account and searched Patrice’s handle on the search box. 

“No results found for pa3ssss”

“Then this must mean she deleted her account.”

He knew her login so he went on to log in to her account instead.

Error. It said the account did not exist.

“So she did delete her account.”

He went on to check all her other social media accounts. Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Discord, Twitch, Reddit - none. Even her Pinterest account no longer existed.

“And the police said they could not find her phone nor locate it at the moment,” he recalled.

He checked to see if her email still existed, and it did. 

The couple shared all their logins and passwords because Patrice always forgot her logins. He kept a list of the logins and passwords on his Notes app on his phone to keep track of all of them in case they needed them.

He went on his Notes app to look for her email login so he could try to get in. But this was set up to ask for a 2-Way Authentication from her phone number and her phone was missing. He could not get in. 

He hated the fact that the police had suspected him of foul play. He can afford to get her an autopsy to prove his innocence, anyway. Why should he not do that?

“No, they’ll cut her up just to prove she killed herself. That would do more disrespect to her death,” he continued to think.

He was so tempted to get into the writing room to look for clues. He knew well that she kept her journals in there. Did the police take them for evidence? There was only one way for Andy to find out.

He jumped out of his bed and strode toward the writing room.

He went in slowly making sure he does not disturb the police tapes around it, then he scuffled through the cabinet on the left wing of the room where she kept her notebooks.

He couldn’t find her journals. He most certainly knew what they looked like because, after all, he bought them for her every year. They were not there.

“She must’ve hidden them somewhere else,” he muttered.

He went through another cabinet, but he still could not find any of those notebooks. He went looking through every drawer and checked for compartments. None. 

“I wonder where she hid them,” he exhaled.

“Or did she get rid of them like how she got rid of her social media?” he started to wonder, also worried that the police must’ve gotten them when they were sweeping up the scene earlier that night. 

“If Trizzy’s suicide is going to put me in jail, damn her soul. I hope she rots in hell. She’s really managing to get on my nerves even in her death.” he felt an overwhelming resentment and anger toward his deceased fiancee. But at the same time, felt a pang of strong guilt that he could accuse her of something he is not even sure was her intention. 

He stood at the left corner of the room, right beside the shelf where Patrice kept all the children’s books she had written. 

He stared at the ceiling where she hung a few hours ago, and chills started to linger on his nape. 

Andy wasn’t superstitious. He did not believe in spirits or anything supernatural. He wasn’t even a believer in a higher being in the sky either. But at that moment, he felt a damning presence. He started to feel goosebumps running down his entire body. At least that’s how he was feeling at the moment.

He quickly walked out of the writing room and closed the door. He jumped right back to bed and forced himself to sleep.

But he couldn’t.

Every time he closed his eyes, he could see the scene of Patrice’s dead body hanging in the writing room.

He was overcome with fear and anger. He hated her for leaving him a problem. He hated that she had to leave him first in the most inconvenient way possible before he could. He hated her so much at that point, that he could not remember why he even fell in love with her in the first place.

“All you ever offered was an inconvenience since day one, Trizzy.” he cried out. 

“And now you just want to mess with me after all these years of always putting you above my needs!”

Andy sobbed hysterically.

The next thing he knew, he had fallen asleep and was awoken by his phone ringing. 

10:54 AM. 71 missed calls. 90 messages. And a whole bunch of social media notifications. 

“They probably just want to hear what I have to say about what happened to Trizzy.”

“And I’m very late for work.” he sighed. 

“I think they’ll understand if I don’t come to work today. My fiancée just died.” he thought as he stared at the bathroom door, hesitating to get out of his bed.

He didn’t bother reading the messages. He just didn’t feel like he wanted to talk to anybody.

He succumbed to his thoughts about Patrice once again.

Last night he was angry and he hated her. But today, he missed her.

He recalled the day they first met. 

She was a new hire in the same company where he worked. He was fortunate enough to have her be assigned the desk next to him.

He didn’t introduce himself at first. He was frustrated at his job because he always missed his quota. 

But then she turned to him and said, “Hi! I’m new here.” 

Her wide smile was brilliant, almost amusing that she seemed so happy to be in this wretched place.

“I can see that.” Andy returned. 

“Someone is grumpy,” she said in a mocking tone as she turned her seat back to her computer screen ignoring Andy.

He didn’t know if he had to feel bad about it, but he was intrigued by her energy.

“I’m sorry. I’m just tired, that’s all. My name is Andy.” he pushed his seat nearer to her desk.

“Andy? Almost sounds like ‘Angry’. Just like your mood and your entire vibe.” 

“Why is she so sarcastic?” Andy thought. 

“Is it your dream job to call people and sell them stuff that doesn’t work? Or are you just here because you desperately need a job?” Andy asked her in a joking manner. 

“The second one.” 

“That makes the two of us.”

“Oh really? What did you want to be before deciding to work here?”

“I wanted to be a rich model sipping on a pina colada in a yacht with three or four hot chicks around me.”

“You’ll get there.” she retorted.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name. What did you say your name was?” he shifted his posture to lean toward her.

“I didn’t tell you my name. But I’m Patrice. But everyone calls me Patty or Pat.”

“Then I am not calling you Patty or Pat. I will be calling you Trice or Trizzy.” his mouth arched upwards to a grin.

“No, you won’t.”

“Oh, yes I will.” And then he leaned back in his chair, pushed back to his desk, and returned to work.

A month went by, and they both easily got along. Andy was not making sales still, Patrice was getting the hang of the job, and they both became work friends. 

Andy’s mood towards coming to work was a lot better now. He felt a little better about his job now that there is someone he can joke around with and hang around with within the office.

He lived up to calling her Trizzy and she often got annoyed and ignored him every time he called her Trizzy. But soon, she got around to the nickname he had given her and just gave in.

Little did Andy know that he was slowly developing strong feelings toward Patrice.

The phone rang again. 

Andy saw it was a call from Patrice’s mother. He didn’t want to deal with her family yet. He was still trying to process everything for himself.

In the afternoon, Andy headed out to the mortuary to see Patrice. Her parents were already there. 

Her mother, Roselyn was crying uncontrollably. Her father, Harold, was consoling his wife while he sobbed on her shoulder. Her younger sister, Kate, was also there. She cried quietly as she watched her parents hugging each other. The only one who was not there was her older sister, Stacey. She’s currently in Singapore on a trip with her husband.

Andy stopped his pace and watched her family mourning the loss of their precious daughter and sister. 

He couldn’t face them. After his thoughts of wanting to break up with Patrice the night before, he felt this heavy guilt throbbing in his chest.

He turned around and went straight back to his car.

He felt numb again. 

He was overwhelmed by the sight of Patrice’s family. He couldn’t watch the scene for one more minute. He could never face them - not because he was guilty of causing her death, but because he failed to identify whatever caused her to take her own life beforehand. 

He was supposed to know. She was supposed to tell him things like this. He was supposed to listen and support her. But he felt that he was too busy and selfish to even give a thought about what could have been going on with her while he wasn’t around.

He should have been able to spot the slightest change in her demeanor. But he was too overwhelmed by his feelings of dissatisfaction with the relationship.

He went straight back home and planned to leave the country. He didn’t want to deal with any of this right now. He wanted to mourn the loss of his fiancee but not in an emotional territory with the rest of her friends and family. He wanted to be alone.

“Maybe I’ll go to Ireland. Trizzy always wanted to visit Dublin. I can mourn her there.” he said to himself.

“And maybe I should contact Atty. Yap first, so I would not look too suspicious for deciding to leave the country for a while.” he continued to think out loud.

He sat on his bed and turned his head toward the writing room’s door. 

“I must find her journals.”

Andy shifted and rested his head on the pillow. 

He thought, “She should’ve told me what was going on in that pretty little head of hers. She never showed any signs. She never said anything. The answer must be in her journals…”

Andy’s thoughts slowly flooded with different possibilities of why his fiancée could have taken her life.

Was it something that he had done in the past that hurt her? Was it a family problem? Did she have some sort of mental health issues he didn’t know about? Did something happen with her publishing deal and her career?

His mind swiveled to darkness. He had fallen asleep.

#edgeofheaven #independentauthor #shortnovel #fiction #timetravel #dream #unrequitedlove #mentalhealth #tragedy

[ltwilliammowett]

Sailors and Mental Health

Please note: This post is about mental health, attempts at treatment and accommodation, self-harm and suicide. If you are affected by what you have read or have current problems that you cannot deal with on your own, please contact a mental health helpline.

Do not suffer in silence.

Another type of disease affected the men as much as any other type of disease. But it was either not recognised at all or only with difficulty. We are talking about mental illnesses.

References to mental illness and their treatment can be found as early as 5000 BC with skulls showing evidence of trepanation. Texts from Ancient Egypt, China, Ancient Greece and the Romans also indicate an awareness of different types of mental illness dating from 1500 BC to 200 AD. After the fall of the Roman Empire theories of mental illness, including different personality types and temperaments (Theophrastus) and 'rational explanations' (Hippocrates), largelyreverted back to the belief in demons and other supernatural causes. It took nearly 1000 years before the first hospital for the mentally ill in Europe, Bethlem Royal Hospital, admitted its first patients in the 1300s. Key theories and ideologies emerged over the next 300 years largely driven by the Renaissance period that swept through Europe. Descartes' 'theory of mind' and Burton's 'Anatomy of Melancholy' are examples of influential works from this period.

This post, however, is mainly about an insight into the treatment and care of sick Sailors of the 18th and 19th century of the Royal Navy.

By the end of the 18th century the Surgeons had noticed an increase in the number of Sailors being admitted to one of London's Asylums due to mental breakdown, especially after major battles. Sir Gilbert Blane (1749-1843), Physician of the Fleet, quickly realised that during the war the number of such men had increased sevenfold and the wings for such cases in the Royal Navy Hospitals were expanded during the 19th century. He recognised that the men often suffered from severe anxiety, depression and trauma. However, he did not see it as such as it is today. He only recognised the symptoms, such as partial paralysis, sleep disturbances, dysesthesia, delusions and more. As was the case with soldiers in the army, these illnesses were attributed to the war.

Most of Bethlehem Hospital by William Henry Toms for William Maitland - William Maitland's History of London, published 1739 (x)

This was also partly the case, but the other circumstances such as malnutrition, trauma through violence and mistreatment among each other were not seen. French physician François Boissier de Sauvages de Lacroix, however, described something he had noticed in the Sailors in their normal everyday lives. He called it brain fever. The patients were restless, had severe insomnia and delusions, and their moods could go from happy to sorrowful in a short time. Despite the lack of sleep, the men were overactive and yet powerless at the same time. What he found there were the first documented cases of biopolar disturbances. Although he tried to treat them like a fever, he often had to watch the patients injure themselves or even jump into the sea.

The symptomatic treatment of such diseases was a fundamental problem. No one really knew how to deal with these men, so schizophrenia was treated like malaria or depression was dismissed as melancholic mood, which was treated with sea air, sun bathing and walks. People hoped for help in the asylums of the cities. The Admiralty sent its men to Hoxton House. Between 1794 and 1818, 1289 men were treated there, of whom 364 were discharged as recovered. 272 died as a result of the treatment and 52 simply disappeared. The more serious cases, 494, were transferred to Bethlem. There they were considered incurable. The Bethlem in London was an asylum with a terrible reputation. It had been run under inhumane conditions since the 14th century.

The hospital may have looked like a palace, but treatment of patients was hardly ideal, as shown in this etching of William Norris in 1814 (x)

106 Sailors and 20 Prisoners of War had to share two rooms 7.9m long and 4.9m wide. Basic equipment such as tables, chairs, some beds, plates and cutlery were forbidden. Sanitary facilities were almost non-existent and men were left like cattle in their own filth. The diet, which typically consisted of: 450g (16oz) red meat, 450g (16oz) vegetables, 55g (2oz) cheese, 570ml (1 pint) broth, 1 litre (2 pints) tea, and 2 litres (4 pints) 'small beer' per day. There were no medicines, fresh clothes or even fresh air. Ultimately, the men were left to fend for themselves. Officers were therefore often placed in private institutions such as Bath, where they were given a cure to restore their health.

However, unlike really physically recognisable illnesses, mental illnesses had a stickma attached to them and many hid their problems in order to avoid social problems. Or they were not taken seriously and so depression was perceived as a mood or a woman's problem. Sailors, who were considered to be masculine and tough, did not have such illnesses (people with mental illnesses were also called lunatics) according to society. However, the opposite was the case. The Navy had a major problem with depression, which was exacerbated by pressure and expectations in the officer ranks. Especially in the Expedition service in the early to mid-19th century, this pressure was exacerbated by the demand for results in a short time, the poor prospects for quick promotions and the desperate position some found themselves in. What pushed some to suicide, that' s what happened to the two captains of HMS Beagle. On their first expedition, Captain Pringle Stokes shot himself and the later Vice Admiral Robert FitzRoy took his own life with a razor. 

Patients in Bethlem, also called Bedlam, in the fresh air, by K.H. Merz 1834 (x)

The cases became more frequent and many an officer was taken out of service with serious self-inflicted injuries and placed in one of the naval asylums. At the beginning of the 1820s, as the conditions of the wounded in the hospitals changed, so did those of the mentally ill. The diets were changed and the accommodation became more comfortable. And labour therapy was tried, although not entirely successful, because the men who seemed physically healthy could then work in the gardens for fresh vegetables, which saved money and labour. (Only after WWI did these treatments intensify and show some success). In addition, medicines were now being tested for the benefit of mental health and experimental operations were also being carried out. But also questionable water and cage therapies were tried. 

 For example, William Kemp was given mercury treatment in 1830. He had been taken to the Haslar Hospital for conspicuous behaviour, violence towards crew members. William Kemp inflicted, who was brought to Haslar in 1830 for his violent and noisy behaviour and, when a mercury cure failed to cure him, was treated as follows: 'Since the commencement of his present illness his bowels have been kept open by the compound rhubarb pill, the compound aloetic pill, and small doses of sulphate of magnesia and antimontartrate. A blister was placed on his head without benefit, but the cold infusion had the effect of quieting him and making him less noisy.'

William Kiddall, a sailor who was admitted to Haslar with mania in 1826, fared differently. Six years later, on 17 August 1832 at 11.30am, he was 'observed yawning'. As he was "unable to account for his sensations", he was put to bed, and at 2 p.m. "vomiting and purging" began on the order of the orderlies. The report continues: He was then placed in a warm bath and given brandy, aromatic ammonia [i.e. smelling salts] and opium tincture to awaken the vital forces, which were obviously very low; but there was no reaction. At 4 p.m. he was again placed in a bath and a venisection [bloodletting] was performed on both arms and on the internal carotid artery, but hardly any blood came out, and what little was found was viscous and extremely dark in colour. Then a branch of the temporal artery was opened and about a drop of blood with the same appearance was obtained. At 9.30 p.m. he was dead.  

As you can see from these two examples, it was more a pure symptom treatment but not a real help. None of the men really recovered and they often died, either as a result of the treatment itself, see above, or they took their own lives. Dealing with these diseases only happened in the 20th century and during the great world wars, but for everyone before that it was often a pure torture.

#naval history #sailors and mental health #tw: mental illness #an overview #surgeons at sea #medical history #18th- 19th century #age of sail

[splitt]

In pieces

Eyeless Jack x Abused Reader Comfort.

A/N: this is kinda vent - comfort oneshot. Please do not read if you are uncomfortable. Ej can see.

Warnings: Abuse (Sexual mostly), mentions of suicide, self harm.

Materlist

How long have you been staring out of this window? Tears run down through your cheeks, dripping on your cold, naked body. You didn’t even bother to put your clothes on, why would you ever want to see your disgusting body anyways, you’re already aware of the ugly bruises and hickeys cover all over your body.

Everything would change if he knew about the hands holding your thighs, the voice telling you to keep your voice down, forcing your legs to the sides or pulling your hair to take it deeper and beat the shit out of you until getting what’s wanted. No, you can't let him learn any of these things, you can't let anyone learn it. How would they react? What would they think? you're a little whore who had been touched. You're discomposed, you're useless. They will pitty you, be sorry for you. And even worse Jack will get away from you, He will think you are disgusting.

But you thought maybe... Maybe you can show him tonight, spill the tea and let everything out. Maybe he could prove you've been wrong about those dark thoughts. Jack had always been nice to you so why not giving this life one last chance? You're already on the edge and there is nothing left to lose anyways. You thought maybe you cold ask for help for the first time, thats why you've been staring out of the window crying, waiting for your guardian angel for hours. He didn't showed up.

Waking up with instant feeling, something ramming inside you and making your body ramble in pain. Rough hands holding you tightly so you can’t make any move. You didn’t even fight back this time, it’s not going to change anything and you are already powerless anyway… in the end you find yourself shattered in pieces, crying your heart out and swallowing every whimper after your abused body thrown away just like a garbage again.

New wounds appeared on your wrists, here is your punishment, there is no sound but the warm red liquid draining through your fingertips and dripping to the floor. Sleeping might be a good idea right? After all you stayed awake till late hours and woke up early thanks to your abuser.

You opened your eyes to see the dark sky above your window. There is no sound on this cold building apart from your heart beat. He never came did he? yet you can’t handle being on your own right now. Each breath suffocating you, burning your lungs as if u were smoking for the first time. Another panic attack you’re having.

You take the phone with shaking hands calling the number your angel gave you only for emergencies, hoping for him to pick up. Pick up because i need you, pick up because i can’t take it anymore. You were trying your best to calm down and stop sobbing when you head what you’ve been waiting for “Y/N?” He said. It’s not needed to say anything, Jack already understood “Hey, hey, it’s okay butterfly. I’m coming just be calm okay?” Your answer was nothing but a whimper “mhm…”

It take only few minutes for you to hear the knocking sound of the window after the call end. You slowly open the window for Jack and return to the warm bed. He sit next to you softly, “tell me.” He said. There is no return from now on, you used the emergency call and most importantly he is here now.

You reached to his hand, holding it tightly, asking for some strength. You stand up, not letting his hand go. “It’s hard to tell…” you mumbled as your cheeks get wet with the shame again “but i can show you.” Jack kept his silence.

Your hands reached to your pants, pulling them off anxiously and throwing away. Repeating same thing until you get fully naked in front of Jack. You showed him every bruise, every scar, mark. Every ugly thing caused by both you and your abuser without mercy.

He said nothing, not a single word escape from the lips you’d give everything to kiss. Regret and anxiety quickly take your control, maybe I shouldn’t have do it. “I’m sorry, N-nevermind” you said with a crack on your voice. You try to cover yourself. “Jack, please don’t hate me.”

He never let go of your hand, still holding it tightly. Afraid to let go. Seeing you like this ruined him. Always trying to hide stuff and those weird behaviors, the way you get scared every time someone enters to house and forcing him to leave… how could he be so blind? He should have known. Jack stand up and grabbed your other hand, “I don’t hate you.” Pulled you in a big hug. Heart beats getting faster and faster.

“It’s okay butterfly, i’m here now.” Jack said as he sit on the bed and placed you on his lap “I don’t hate you, it’s not your fault.” Fragile, he acts as if you’re a fragile doll, kind and carefully. “I’m dirty Jack. Those hands met my skin and pollute everywhere, i’m rotten to the core.” You said sobbing, he only hugged you tighter. “Cry as much as you want, let it out.”

Here he is again, comforting you. Cold hands playing with your hair and warm lips kissing your tears off. “Watch me show you that you’re wrong, every bad word you say about yourself, butterfly. I will erase it all.” Jack’s hand slip through your chin, making you look up to him “Jack…” your face warmed up as he approaches. “I’ll make sure that you are safe and happy.” pulled you in a deep kiss, the best one you have ever had. That’s his way to say i love you. “You’ll never going to be alone again, butterfly.” He breathe you in “As long as i’m here, no one can hurt you…”

You listen to his heart in silence, once again he succeed to calm you down. Jack proved that he’s the only thing you need. “You’re my savior.” Your mumble caused him to giggle “i will take you away, with me.” You smiled, “you’ll be with me forever, butterfly.”

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta eyeless jack #eyeless jack x y/n #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack #eyeless jack x you #creepypasta oneshot

[beann-e]

Haikyuu! Characters reacting to their s/o Fighting for them

Also i’m taking request !! go put something in the box :4

Tendou

he would enjoy it so much like he’d have a full on conversation while your doing it. He’d even start hyping you up In the back because he knows that’s all it takes to fuel your fire.

Only for you to find out the person who was hitting on him wasn’t talking about him but was talking about another guy and tendou only made it seem like they were so he could piss you off because he finds it so hot when your upset

Your eyes went pointed to the scene in front of you when you walked down from the bleachers. Feet heavy on the ground as you tried to contain your anger.

How did this chick get down here faster than you and why the hell was she talking to your boyfriend once again faster than you ?

You steps slowed as you walked up to them hoping to hear a little bit of the conversation “ yeah I thought it was really hot and I just wanted to say wow up close and personal y’know “

Your eyes widened hot ?

what the hell did she think was hot ?

“ I was uh I was up in the stands and I was honestly a little bit intimidated to come down here and talk to anyone actually —in the first place “ she laughed clutching her bag a little tighter when your boyfriend licked his lips before his teeth came down to nibble on his bottom one lightly, eyes feigning innocence as he listened to her “ especially you so this is like a big milestone for me “

you watched as your boyfriend smiled softly “ yeah I get it — really i’d be the exact same way with a crush I wouldn’t know how to act or even how to talk to them i’ve actually been there before so “

good good you thought praising tendou in your head at the fact that he was trying to slowly bring up the fact that he had a s/o. clapping for him in your head for trying to let the girl in front of him down easily

your body darting to hide behind a group of teenagers when you saw your boyfriends eyes lift up from the girl and look around as if he was checking for someone he must have been wondering where you were. breathing out a sigh of relief that he turned to look over your way too slowly only missing you by a second

“ oh really I assumed that— “

“ no no your good i’m not saying it in that way “

your face dropped ‘in what way ? ‘

“ I understand the fear of talking to your crush but trust me “ he nodded his head towards the girl In front him before he took a sip of water and smiled down on her “ you’ve got no reason to be nervous i’m right her—“

“ hi “ you waved steps quick on the floor beneath you and voice loud to show your presence “ yes y— yes you do “ you laughed reaching your hand out to shake the girls own in front of you

“ i’m y/n — the s/o— of 3 years —is there ? is there anything wrong did something happen to where he needed an emergency check up or something ? “

the sarcasm in your voice making your boyfriend smirk to himself at the way you just jumped into the situation all to protect your relationship it made him feel secure, happy even

it made him in a way feel greedy

your head coming up to look at tendou as you snaked an arm around his waist like he’d done to you in similar situations. Your other one moving to place itself on his chest “ babe are you ok ? are you hurt ? how badly to call a stranger over here ? “

“ baby no nothing like that she just wanted to congratulate me“ he locked eyes with you the slight smirk he still wore ignored by you due to anger at the drama unfolding before you and his next statement. His words coming out soft and sweet though they were meant to encourage his evil agenda “ before you “

“i’m sorry I wasn’t down here to congratulate him on his win so he must have looked lonely “

you shook your head in sadness at the girl “ and open but “ you smiled “ no he’s not—I understand the confusion you must be going through right now but its just miscommunication from your classmates—which leads me to wonder—please tell me what’s your name ? i’ve never seen you before and I bet your not aware of who I am either so introductions could help both of us out here “

“ oh uh i’m niccolo” the girl shook her head softly and wearily as you pulled back quickly

“ mm niccolo— niccolo “ you spoke rubbing the same hand youd just shook niccolos with down your shirt causing your boyfriend to smile to himself and his eyebrows to raise at all the knowing looks from his teammates about the shit storm he’d just put into motion as he planted a small innocent kiss to your forehead while winking to his teammates behind you

“ never heard of it you must be a first year ? “ your boyfriends head shook slightly as he looked to the floor thinking about how that might have been a little bit rude considering she was just a young girl maybe 16 at most.

His mind rolling with thoughts of maybe cutting the game he was playing short because of her age only for him to side eye you and take a sip from his water bottle again ‘ nah they’ve got it ‘

“ oh y-yes i’m new here—i’ve taken the phrase first year a bit too literal “ she joked smile seeming to be forced her hands twitching in nervousness

“ mm — I never would’ve thought “ you spoke sarcastically. Almost every first year knew not to talk to tendou after a game not unless you were down there already.

The both of you had established that as soon as the game is over your the only person who gets to say congratulations to him first since he explained that it means more to him to know that you’ll always be there no matter what he does

no matter if he wins or loses he’ll get to walk off that court and the first thing he sees is the person he loves most with their hands out waiting for a hug. he’s told you that in the moment he wants to feel like your the only one watching because it’s a private game played for you because he believes your so lucky to get to see your smoking hot boyfriend do blocks.

“ oh thank you no ones ever told me that I look older before may I ask why you thin— “

“ because your dum— “

“ haha um “ tendou stretched before speaking again “ because your just really pretty for a first year “ your body went rigid you almost felt like you couldn’t feel anything not even the heat that was radiating off your body

“ aw thank you so much that means a lot y/n was it? “ she smiled genuinely before laughing “ tendous so nice i’m really glad I came down here first before y’know all the fangirls came down “

she shook her head “ y’know I actually got scared because I thought you were one — I was like ahhhh here comes one of those scary stalker girls “ she laughed “ tendou was telling me not to be afraid since he knew you but I was telling him to be careful when talking to people like you —- once again I thought you were a fan girl so I mean you can’t blame me right?”

Yeah she was screwed this had went too far he was too late

“ y/n “ his voice was warning but you waved him off listening to the girl in front of you her voice sounding so confident and honest believing in everything she was saying. Voice pouring through and mouth still moving almost as if she had no filter

she looked to her feet “I doubt any of them would even have a chance with tendou though because— “

your body roared as she explained her reasoning.

You were only feeling this angry at her words because not only did she call you a tendou fangirl but she explained that even if you were one you would have no chance with him even though that’s actually how you two started dating.

Then for her to turn around and rub it in your face how she got downstairs before you oh god you were gonna have a field day with this little twerp if you didn’t find a way to put her in her place respectfully

“ hey um tendou do you think me and my fellow fan girl here can have some alone time just a small chat “

“ oh wow i’ve never had one of those before “ she smiled as tendou stood still wondering if he’d done the right thing by encouraging all of this or if he should just drop it or maybe even sit down and enjoy it

looking down at you cautiously a slight smirk on his face thinking about your face when he would get the chance to you the truth of the situation but only for it to drop as the girl across from him stole his attention away from you causing him to perk up a bit honestly surprised that she spoke again

Was she suicidal or ?

“ I think he may not be leaving because he isn’t comfortable with you yet—he told me earlier that we could be best friends so , he may listen to me more “ she smiled “ tendou I wanna talk to um —y/n so could you maybe give us some time alone —“ her smiling wider almost as if happy to call him her friend —before speaking “ I wanted to help you out “

‘ holy shit she’s testing my patience’

tendous loud laugh ripped through the gym as he grabbed goshiki and turned the both of them around to walk off words heavy and holding meaning “ yeah I know em’ —I know em’ real well physically and mentally trust me your going to have a bestie number two soon enough “

you watched as your boyfriend went to sit on the bench talking softly with goshiki as he put his hands in his pants pockets not paying attention to you two anymore

“ so wha— “

“ look “ you smiled “ i’m gonna be real sweet about this so we can tie this up in a neat little bow “ you pointed towards tendou

“ ‘m not a fan anymore he’s my boyfriend — we’ve been dating for 3 years now ever since we were first years. I met him through a fan club because he saw the art I drew for their game posters and enjoyed it. I told him I liked how passionate he was about something and how he had his own thing and did it in his own unique way that worked for him and then boom we ended up getting closer—closer then need be sometimes “

you sighed as you moved to close the conversation out “ look just please — I understand your a first year you may not know and that’s ok but ; me and my boyfriend like for me to be the first one who gives him a congratulations at the end of a match he never talks to anyone except his team until I do it — he says it’s like reassurance tht he’s doing good he’s had some stuff happen in the past that just — he needs praise and reminders that he’s doing good with his sport and I supply that he doesn’t want it from anyone else and I don’t want anyone else to give it “

you looked to the girl with sympathy in your eyes hoping you didn’t hurt her feelings she really was just a young kid “ it’s ok to have a crush I had one we all do at a point in our lives but right now your hitting on someone in a secure relationship ok ? start asking first please just to be safe in your future years “

her eyes went wide as she moved to speak “ mm I guess I was wrong “

you shook your head “ wrong ? excuse me for not understanding but wrong how“

“ I uh I assumed you weren’t one of those fan girls and I was wrong I did not mean to get in between your weird obsession just please do not harm him or anything like you guys tend to do “

your body blazed eyes lit up in a hard stare at everyone who now turned to face you hearing the girls loud words

“ again with the fan shit “

“ that is what you guys are called I will not call you his s/o if he does not know you “

“ HES MY BOYFRIEND YOU ASSHOLE “

“ wh— “

“ I tried to be nice to you but your not accepting it it’s like you want me to scream at you “

“ yeah babe she totally does “ tendous smile spreading slowly across his face at the way your hips moved to work with your mouth in showing off your evident pissed off mood

“ I know “ you screamed “ she just wants to make this harder for me “

“ duh “ his tongue coming out to swipe across his bottom lip eyes falling down to your hands that were clenched so tightly in anger waving around widely your pissed off expression sending heat traveling across his body

“ you have a child’s crush on him and I keep telling you I don’t mind but I explained to you to just be respectful and then you go and disrespect me again“

“ they are very lenient when it comes to crushes on me “

“ thank you baby —I try not to be rude because I myself was once a fan in a club for the team so trust me I understand but everyone is usually respectful I don’t understand how you “

“ she’s just a first year babe you have to explain it to her more “ he smiled thinking up a new way to see how far you would go for him “ like in depth “

“ I DID “

“ no baby you gotta get rough with her “

you turned with your eyebrows furrowed “ like fight “

he smirked at you body shaking at the way you whimpered out the words but moved to put your hair up anyways yet, again putting him first and your cloudy anger ridden mind second

god you were so hot whenever you showed everyone you’d do anything for him “ fuck — yeah baby your doing the right thing —don’t think about it too much “

you shook your head softly as you battled through it in your head tendou always knew how to get a rise out of you and how to make you do what he wanted you to more so for fun.

It didn’t take much for you to listen to him especially when you couldn’t think clearly because he was the only person there who cared for you and anything he did you knew would only be for his own entertainment purposes he’d never have you do anything bad or that put your safety at risk.

when you were angry —and had someone hyping you up and adding fuel onto the fire it was only 10x worse and tendou knew this

“ here y/n baby—let’s take this outside I don’t want you to get hurt by fighting in here come on you can do it out there “

“ tendou you asshole quit encouraging this shit“ semi whispered

“ I do not understand what is going on —i find myself with a loss of knowledge in this situation but I do feel as though tendou is in the wrong it is only a gut feeling “

the girl in front of you trembled at ushijimas voice—before looking to goshiki who held wide eyes as he waved to the girl hesitantly her eyes darting away and back to him eyebrows coming together as she looked around the gym embarrassed “ but he — he didn’t say anything about you—I didn’t know he didnt tell me “

“ wh—what babe — liar I call liar she’s lying baby — pleas— ow “

your head finally clearing up as you listened to his team talk about how much of a prick he was you reaching out and grabbing the top of his ear and bringing it down to your height while he screamed out in pain “ BECAUSE HES AN ASSHOLE “

“ hey baby I’m sorry i’m sorry but that’s — thats “ his hair went down to cover his face as he looked at you “ thats not cool “

“ I — I didn’t know “

“ but I told you twice “

“ and I — I haven’t had the best experienc— “ her bottom lip trembled before she took off crying when she met the young boys eyes behind her.

Goshiki shaking softly eyes lit up in confusion before he shook his head and pulled himself away from the embarrassing situation to run after her your boyfriend moving to wrap his arms around your waist from the back “ your so hot “

“ but I “

“ you were wrong though so I see looks don’t always pair up with smarts “

“ huh “

“ she wasn’t hitting on me “

“ but she “

“ she has a crush on goshiki this is her first time attending a volley’ game and she accidentally came down the wrong way so it landed her down here faster than everyone else”

your body stiffened “ she only ended up talking to me because I was going into the hallway towards the locker rooms when she for some reason was coming down the opposite way crying to me about how she was lost “

“ then you — you two were talking abo— “

“ she’s a bit fragile —- and she was explaining it and I saw how we were the same because she’s had a hard past too so she’s a bit wary around others—and hates confrontation due to drama at ‘er old school and she doesn’t know much of the people here because she’s a first year also she doesn’t talk much which kinda threw me off when she started having full conversations with you and trying her best to connect with you“ he shrugged “ must’ve thought you were cool —wanted to be your friend or some shit”

he smiled proudly at the fact that you could make people other than himself feel that comfortable around you him peppering kisses all around your face “ she was telling me how she thought goshiki was hot and when I brought up that I was his amazingly beautiful senpai she just wanted me to introduce her to him — she said she’s afraid of people and fangirls because she hasn’t had the best experiences with them she explained one time in middle school she got a bento box thrown at her because a guy from the volleyball team said hi to her “

your body immediately dropped “ you knew her whole life story and then some and let me embarrass myself “

“ well honestly you both did you just a bit more than her “

oikawa

he would praise you so much the whole time. He has fangirls and he loves when you show him why your more important than them. he loves for you to stop him and put them in their place while showing him his own.

He knows it’s not right to flirt with other girls but the excitement and pure happiness he gets when he watches you fight for him with such passion similar to his own for volley he loves it

“ oikawa ~~” A small voice called out before tucking a strand of hair behind their ear “ can we maybe get some photos ? “

holy shit it’s like everyday at this point

“ baby can I ? “

“ just go “ his eyes darted to the group before he looked back at you “ really —swear i’ll be right behind you pretty boy “

He smiled before running off to the group grabbing the pen someone held out for him and writing all over the billions of notepads girls waved in front of his face.

You knew it looked wrong for him to have a s/o and still entertain other girls or guys for that matter but, you knew oikawa. You knew exactly how he felt about them it wasn’t that he was interested or liked them it was that he liked their comments

he liked the attention.

He was someone who needed constant praise to feel like he was doing his best. Hearing all the cheers , all of the shouts of his name, seeing the signs and people that would come to games specifically for him only made him feel like he was human like he was real and talented—appreciated

You would never take that away from him you could never, when you two started dating you explained to him you knew how important his fans were to him and as long as he kept a certain line that couldn’t be crossed— that he would always come back to you. Everything would be ok.

You slowly walked up behind him leaving space for people to have a hard time differentiating if you were apart of the crowd or with him but you were still close enough to hear the whispers of how hot he was and honestly he was.

He had the muscles—the beautifully glowing skin that others around you two dreamed of and to put a topping on the cake he was still sporting his ruffled hair from his earlier game. He was your dream man and you were lucky to even be able to stare at him behind closed doors or at least that’s what he told you whenever you walked into his room.

“ oikawa-san “

“hmm “ he spoke staring down on the girl that reached out to grab his arm as he was turning to leave

“ could I talk to you please “

his eyes darted to find yours locking on them when he finally found them. His mouth now moving to mouth a question as you shook your head lightly you’d give him five more minutes he deserved it and you wanted him to feel like he’d done a good job at his game today ,which he really did do, him only going back to the girl in front of you two

“ oh well I really wanna — i’m supposed to —“ he sighed out before he collected himself “ I want to take my s/o home before it gets too late I don’t want them walking alone at night “

“ oh s/o “ her voice dropped as he shook his head up and down “ correct of 2 years “

“ oh my um congratulations— to many more to many more with many more “ she rushed out quickly reaching in her backpack

“ thank you our anniver— “

“ could we get a picture “

he sighed before his smile spread only growing into a fake one lips going tight on his face “ yes of course just one i’d like to get on the ro— “

His breathing stopped as he felt the girl next to him lay her lips on his. The click of the camera making his eyes go wide as he shook. Oikawa to most wasnt one who was as submissive as he was with you. He was a bit more ‘ manly ‘ to other people but around you he always fell into submission especially when he knew he fucked up

His eyes slowly moved to find yours that flaming as you stared down the girl in front of him . You leaning against the wall only making him feel a shiver move down his spine.

Had he fucked up that badly that you weren’t even moving.

He kept looking between you and the girl in front of him eyes trying to convey his thoughts as they screamed

‘ look y/n she’s still talking to me — at this point she’s fucking with me not the other way around ‘

His mind went blank as you walked over your face made up into a stoic one voice coming out monotoned devoid of annoyance or any feeling at all “ your lips must be magnets or some shit“

“ excuse me “

“ oh no it’s just that Insee you’ve put your lips on my boyfriend“ your eyes creased at the girl before looking up and down in curiosity “ so I was just wondering if your big mouth was hiding a magnet or something — anything really to explain why you would put your dirty ass mouth on my rather pristine boyfriend “

Pristine ? his body went upright standing a bit taller ‘ hell yeah i’m pristine keep em coming babe ‘

“ are you not going to apologize ? “

“ I uh “ her eyes went up into sadness and fear as the courage that once swirled through her left upon seeing your emotionless stare. She’d just kissed your boyfriend and you looked like you were walking dogs or doing an everyday house chore “ i’m sor—sorry “

“ oh not to me “ you let out a small head nod over to oikawa “ I meant him “

“ oh oh um yes “ she coughed before she made eye contact with oikawa whos eyes were creasing as he stared down on the frail girl before him

“ i’m sorry “

“ no go on take your time “

“ i apologize that “

“ really I know it’s hard to apologize to someone as pristine as me“ your boyfriend moved to nudge you softly “ isn’t that right y/n“ he spoke as he tried and failed to wink down at you

“ uh yeah babe um “ you shook your head as your eyebrows furrowed before you returned to your earlier self “ wait what oikawa stop playing and fix this shit “

“ oh uh “ he straightened himself up at your words “ what were you suppose to be saying again “

“ oh I just wanted to um “ she turned to make eye contact with you before jumping a bit and turning away squeaking out her words “ i’m sorry for hitting on you knowing that you had a s/o “

“ oh ok that’s it? ” his body sulked as he looked to the floor

“ that’s it ? — you don’t care that she hit on you asshole“ you slapping his arm harshly before he whimpered at the contact

“ what’s wrong baby “ your hand came up to rub his back and arm while he pouted turning away from the both of you

“ I just wanted her to she was sorry “

“ ‘kawa she did we can go home now “

“ no she didn’t say it the way I wanted her to “

your hands fell from him as you let out a huff of air before turning to the girl in front of you and moving to whisper in her ear as she sat confused unmoving In her spot before smiling softly and speaking uncomfortably and regretting her decision to ask the male out

“ oikawa “ she coughed his eyes looking over at her while still holding up his dramatic show “ I just wanted to say i’m sorry for hitting on your s/o’s “

Her eyebrows furrowed before she looked to you who was mouthing the words and shaking her head in an ok motion “ pretty boy —“ he perked up at the words “I will never hit on someone of your elegantly pure , flawlessly clean , stature ever again “

Yes he made her embarrass herself by asking for more kind uplifting words more so to make himself feel better than for you. All the while he enjoyed the praise he received from not only the person he loved but the person he didn’t.

#hq tendou #tendou x y/n #tendou x reader #tendou imagine #haikyuu tendou #tendou fluff #tendou satori #satori tendo x y/n #satori tendo x you #hq satori #satori x reader #haikyuu satori #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa scenarios #oikawa headcanons #oikawa imagine #oikawa x y/n #oikawa torū #oikawa tōru #oikawa hcs #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa x reader #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!! #toru oikawa x reader #toruu #oikawa toruu #hq angst #hq fluff

[agustdakasuga]

Between The Bloodshed | Chapter 14

Genre: Mafia!AU, Angst, Romance, Fluff

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: Doctor!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook

Summary: Being a freelance doctor, this was just supposed to be any other job, helping a private client and taking care of him through his recovery. But you were not expecting to get caught in something so much darker that would change your life entirely.

Going to Florida on vacation also seemed to be the perfect time to find out where the other boys came from and their pasts. 

Warning: This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. It may contain depictions of violence, blood shed/ gore and mentions of abuse. Please read at your own discretion.

Chapter warning(s): The boys share their pasts, which can be rough. Mentions of suicide, past abuse, PTSD. There’s also quite some drinking in this chapter.

“He’s fine. Just a little bit too much sun.” You chuckled in a whisper, tucking Jin under the blanket. With that, you exited the room with the 6 others. The oldest had felt a little faint after playing in the sun, which led to his current state.

“We should-”

RINGGGGGGG

“Ugh, one minute.” Jimin took his phone out of his pocket, walking away to answer his call. You and Jungkook looked at each other, shrugging. You headed to the living room, with you draping your legs over Hoseok to watch television, not that Hoseok minded.

“Jin hyung is asleep... That means his snacks are unguarded!” Jungkook shot up from the couch, running to the pantry.

“Nothing stand between him and food.” Taehyung raised an eyebrow. Namjoon shook his head and chuckled, bidding all of you goodbye before leaving with a book tucked under his arm.

“What’s for dinner?” Yoongi asked.

“I think steak and pasta.” Jungkook said, mouth stuffed to the brim with cookies. The staff that worked here had the same schedule as those back in Korea.

“What shall we do tonight?”

“I don’t know. We should stay in on our first night. To just... chill.” Hoseok shrugged and everyone nodded in agreement.

“Even when we put a vacation notice out, work doesn’t seem to stop coming.” Jimin stormed in, complaining. Taehyung raised an eyebrow at his best friend, shifting to let him sit on the couch.

“That’s what you get for opening a new place 2 weeks before the vacation. And a big place, with a lot of manpower needed.” Jungkook scoffed. Jimin sighed, full of regret. He had opened a new male host lounge for ladies 2 weeks ago and safe to say, the business was booming. His phone was ringing non-stop from wanting business partners.

“I’ll just leave it to the others to handle.” Jimin said.

“Yeah, put the phone away. You’re here to relax.” You put your hands behind your head.

“I’m guessing you did the same?” Yoongi faced you.

“My family knows I’m on vacation. There’s an emergency number if they really need to reach me, which I doubt they will. It’s my last vacation before I have to hear my mother start nagging me again.” You rolled your eyes.

“Nag you?” Taehyung tilted his head.

“My brother’s, her star child, is coming into town with my very pregnant sister-in-law for the birth of her second grandchild.” You explained and the boys all nodded, understanding. At the ball where they met your parents, there was a brief mention of your older brother.

“I was an only child. Never had siblings. Omma was worried that if she had another, he or she would come out sick like me.” Jimin forced a smile.

“I’m sorry, Chim.” You reached over to hold his hand.

“It’s okay. Fortunately, Yoongi hyung was there to break me out of the hospital.” He turned to the older, who was sitting on the adjacent couch, sipping from his red wine glass.

“You broke him out of a hospital?” Your eyes widened. Yoongi let out a long sigh, placing his glass on the table.

“Since she couldn’t figure out the reason why Jimin was always sick, Mrs Park thought the only way to provide Jimin the care he needed was to lock him in a hospital.” He explained. Jimin cleared his throat.

“I first met Yoongi hyung at a martial arts convention. Since I used to train in kendo, omma let me go but I couldn’t participate in the demonstration. When he found out that omma checked me into the hospital, he got me out and brought me to join the family. Even when I was sick, Yoongi hyung and Namjoon hyung took care of me.” Jimin gave a small smile.

“I mean, since we’re telling our family stories, my mother abandoned me when I was younger, at an amusement park. I joined an orphanage after.” Hoseok said.

“Yoongi hyung’s father adopted me to be hyung’s playmate but that was it. We could only see each other during playtime. Other than that, I stayed in the small hut in the backyard.” Hoseok continued.

“It was practically a tool shed with a mattress.” Yoongi said bitterly.

“Yoongi, so your father...”

“He was rich, powerful, as was Namjoon’s father. We had been friends for a long time since our fathers were friends. After our fathers died, we dissolved their associations and formed our own.” Yoongi explained.

“I see... I didn’t know both your fathers were also... in the same line of business.” You tried to speak.

“With the way my father treated Hoseok and my mother, we don’t bring him up. Same with Namjoon.” Yoongi said but there was a warning tone in his voice.

“I-Is it, my turn?” Jungkook lifted his head.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” You comforted. Jungkook took a deep breath, shaking his head. If anything, he trusted you and wanted you to know his background.

“I was quite a small kid, so I was generally quite quiet in school. I had one older brother. Mum and dad worked a lot so it was mostly my brother and me. At first, hyung was the best brother I could ever ask for. He took care of me, protected me, everything.” Jungkook gulped.

“Then one day, he started treating me like I was invisible, at school and at home. That progressed to him hitting me and bullying me, hurting me.” He said sadly.

“Jungkook...” Jimin said sadly.

“Namjoon hyung was passing by an alley when my brother almost beat me to death. He brought me to the hospital to get treated. Since then, I’ve been living with him.” Jungkook finished.

“Did your parents come find you?” You asked.

“They never believed me when I told them hyung hurt me. He must have told them I ran away or something since he thinks he left me for dead.” 

“But you’re stronger now.” Taehyung patted Jungkook’s head. Considering Taehyung didn’t start his background story, the others assumed that he already told you about him.

“Dinner is served.” The butler informed, breaking the thick tension in the air from all the heavy conversations. 

“I’ll get the others.” You said, going to head upstairs. The first person you checked on was Jin, he was still fast asleep, which you let him be. Namjoon was standing in the hallways, outside of Jin’s bedroom.

“I heard what the boys told you.” He said. You nodded your head in acknowledgement.

“(y/n), I think you know that with such backgrounds, it’s not all black and white for them. On top of always falling ill, Jimin lived with a fear of being a burden, like how his own mother treated him. Yoongi hyung lives with the guilt of how his father treated Hoseok. He feels the need to make it up to him with his life.” Namjoon started.

“Hoseok is afraid of abandonment. Taehyung dealt with meltdowns, panic attacks, so much trauma. You’ve seen it, he’s still not over what happened to him.”

“And Jungkook, I can’t tell you the number of times I had to stop him from taking his own life. He was afraid of being hurt by the one he loved, just like before.” Namjoon sighed.

“I know, Namjoon. It must have been a lot for you and Yoongi to face, along with your own fears. But look at who you saved. Where would they all be now if you and Yoongi didn’t help them?” You placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Everyone comes with their own battle scars. But that’s what makes us human and survivors, right?” You smiled.

“You always know what to say, doc.” Namjoon chuckled.

“Of course. I’m the best, am I not?” You nudged him, making him laugh even more. With that, the two of you headed downstairs to the dining room, where the others were seated around the table. Namjoon sat at the head of the table while you sat between Jungkook and Yoongi.

“Let’s eat.” Namjoon waved for the wait staff to bring in the trays of food and pour the drinks. Even if the dinner was quieter than usual, it wasn’t suffocating. You’ve reached a new level of understanding with the boys. 

“What shall we do tomorrow?” Jimin asked. 

“I wanna go look around the city. If possible. Maybe buy some things for myself.” You shrugged.

“Yes! Shopping! We’ll come too!” Taehyung and Jungkook cheered. You smiled, somehow knowing that it was going to be chaotic with the boys. Hoseok clapped his hands in excitement. 

“What if I wanna go on my own?” You raised an eyebrow. 

“No way! It’s not safe for you to be on your own.” Jungkook shook his head, putting his arms in a cross. 

“Are you saying I am not capable to defending myself?” You asked him with a smirk.

“Ooh, you’ve done it now, Kook.” 

“Yeah, even I don’t go there.” Yoongi decided to join in on the fun of teasing the maknae. Jungkook’s eyes widened when he realised what he did, immediately facing you and rubbing his hands together in an apologetic matter.

“I’m sorry! You are very much capable of defending yourself! Even better than me or anyone else because you’re a strong, independent woman! I would never doubt your strength! Please don’t kill me!” He rambled on. You threw your head back in laughter, reaching over to pat his head. Even the others just looked on in amusement. 

“Alright, let’s stop teasing, Koo.” You said. 

After dinner, everyone was gathered back in the living room, watching some show that was playing on the television. 

“The night is young! We should party!” Hoseok declared. 

"This is not going to end well.” Yoongi clicked his tongue with a shake of his head. It was obvious he had to deal with his drunk brothers multiple times before. 

“I brought drinks and snacks!” Jungkook brought two big trays out, one with different alcoholic drinks and the other filled with snacks, courtesy of Jin’s stash. You took a bottle of beer. Hoseok and Namjoon did the same, clinking bottles with you. Jungkook grabbed some soju.

“Hyung? You want one?” Jungkook offered a filled shot glass to Taehyung. Taehyung, who doesn’t usually drink, shrugged and accepted it. Yoongi stuck to his whiskey like always.

“Honestly didn’t think the drinking was gonna start on our first night here. But I’m not one to complain.” You shrugged. 

“We’re on vacation. It’s always drinking time.” Hoseok said. 

“I agree!” Jungkook grinned. You snorted in response. Jimin decided to have soju with the other two, taking an empty shot glass. Jungkook happily filled it up for him. 

“Hey...” Jin stood at the stairwell. 

“Hey, Jin. How are you feeling?” You asked as you stood up to head to him. Jin gave a small smile and a thumbs up. 

“Are those my snacks?!” His eyes widened as he marched over. 

“Shot?” Jungkook offered as a consolation. Jin glared at the maknae but took the tiny glass, glancing over at you. You shrugged, nodding your head in approval. Hoseok and Taehyung shifted to give Jin space to sit down. Everyone with their drinks, cheered to your first night on vacation, taking a swig. You leaned against Jimin’s side. 

“Do you want dinner, Jin?” 

“Nah, I’m fine with the snacks and drinks.” He waved you off. 

“Alright but if you feel dizzy again, stop and rest. And tomorrow, please remember to hydrate yourself when out.” You lectured. The boys all groaned, even if you were only directing your words at Jin. 

“Now you’re nagging.” Taehyung boxed his ears, whining. You rolled your eyes, reaching to smack him. 

That night, when all the boys retreated to their rooms, passed out drunk, you were in your room spending some alone time. There was a knock on your door and you stood up from your bed, shuffling over to see who it was. 

“Hobi?” You were shocked. 

“C-Can I come in?” He rubbed the back of his neck. You nodded your head, stepping aside for him to enter. 

“Can’t sleep?” You asked softly. 

“Just a lot on my mind.” He admitted with a soft sigh. You sat on your bed, legs dangling off the side. You patted the space beside you and Hoseok gladly accepted, sitting beside you as the moon shined in. 

“Bringing up the past isn’t easy. It opens a lot of scars you thought were healed, memories that you thought was locked away, feelings that you thoughts were gone. It’s okay, Hobi.” You whispered with a soft smile, wrapping an arm around him. Hoseok placed his head on your shoulder. 

“It’s okay.” You comforted. 

“She left me there, all alone. For strangers to take me. And I probably will never know the reason why until the day I die.” He said aimlessly.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, Hobi.” You squeezed his hand. 

“Yoongi hyung still feels so guilty for what his father did when he adopted me. But I always think that even if he did treat me badly, I still got to leave the orphanage and meet Yoongi hyung.” 

“And then you met the rest of the boys. Look how inseparable you all are now.” You stroked his head. 

“I also got to meet you.” Hoseok added. 

“I’m just there to clean your cuts and take care of you when you’re sick.” You laughed. 

“That’s not true. You mean a lot to me and everyone else, more than you’d think, (y/n).” Now, it was Hoseok holding your hands, looking into your eyes, his full of honesty and sincerity. 

-

You woke up the next morning, rubbing your temples, feeling the slight effect of the alcohol from the night before. Hoseok was still passed out beside you, sleeping soundly. You got out of bed quietly, washing up before heading downstairs. The house was quiet, signalling that maybe no one else was awake, still sleeping the alcohol off. 

“You’re up?” You nearly jumped when Yoongi appeared, drinking a cup of iced coffee, his hair slightly damp and messy from his shower. 

“Yeah. I need a hangover cure and a coffee.” You went to the kitchen. The maid brought you a cup of water and the small bottle of hangover cure. You downed the bitter liquid following that with water.

“Here.” Yoongi fixed you an iced coffee of your own. 

“Thank you.” You sipped it.

“Hoseok... he’s with you?” Yoongi cleared his throat as he asked. You nodded your head with a hum. 

“Yeah. He came over to talk then we just fell asleep after.” You explained. Yoongi gave a nod, moving to sit out on the deck. You trailed behind him quietly, taking the seat across him. All you heard were the crashing of the waves and the strong wind rustling the trees. 

“I’m part of the reason he’s like that.” Yoongi spoke. 

“Why do you burden yourself with that?” You asked back. Yoongi blinked, seemingly surprised by your words. 

“You know it’s not true, you know that Hobi doesn’t think that, and yet you force yourself to live with the guilt. You know that you’re not like your father, whatever he did to Hobi was out of your control.” You said. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yoongi said with gritted teeth. 

“Exactly, I don’t. But what I see is you feeling sorry for yourself and Hobi being worried about showing his emotions because he doesn’t want you to start feeling guilty again.” 

“He said that?” 

“Not exactly. It’s pretty obvious to a bystander.” You shrugged. 

“Yoongi, I have better things to do than to stand here and taunt you. The only people there were you and Hobi. Will anyone ever understand what each of you went through? I don’t know. You and I both know that Hobi holds whatever happened close to him. But he sees the light, even in a dark situation. If he can do that, I don’t see why you can’t.” You said. 

“I know.” Was all he could reply. 

“I’m going to check on Jin, okay?” You stood up. But you were yanked back by your wrist. Yoongi wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing his face into your middle. 

“I hate that you’re right.” He mumbled. You let out a soft hum, patting the top of his fluffy hair. When Yoongi released you, you looked down at him. 

“You saved so many of them, Yoongs. Give yourself more credit. They all look up to you for a reason.” You laughed. 

“Go check on Jin hyung.” He said, patting your hip. 

“Right on it, sir.” You saluted. That made Yoongi break out into a small smile as he watched you leave. You hummed a random tune as you headed upstairs to see how Jin was doing today. 

“Doc? You’re here.” He slowly opened his eyes, squinting to focus his vision on you. He gave you a sleepy smile. You smiled softly as you nodded, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear as you placed your hand on his forehead. He wasn’t warm to the touch. 

“How are you feeling?” You whispered. 

“Okay. Sleepy... Hungover.” He chuckled, a little embarrassed. 

“I’d bet. You can come down later to get some hangover cure. Luckily I told the butler to stock the house when we arrived yesterday.” You patted his shoulder, making him laugh. 

“(y/n)!” When you exited Jin’s room, you saw a shirtless Jungkook barreling down the hallway, headed straight for you. You jumped back but he caught you.

“Good morning, Koo.” You said in amusement as he hugged you. He mumbled something in his sleepy stupor. 

“What are you saying? I can’t understand you.” 

“I went to your room to look for you but you weren’t there. I thought Hobi hyung was you but it wasn’t. Why is Hobi hyung in your bed? Where were you? Ugh... I have a headache and I’m hungry.” He rambled. 

“Alright, alright. Slow down. I went to get some coffee to help my hangover and was with Yoongi on the deck. Then I went to check on Jin. Hobi just stayed the night after we talked. I have alka seltzer to help your hangover and I think the chefs are cooking hangover soup for all of us. Would you also please put on a shirt?” You answered all his questions, ending with one of yours. 

“I’m sleepy.” 

“I thought you were hungry?”

“I don’t know! My head hurts.” He whined. You sighed, patting his back as you led him back to his room. 

“You stay here. I’ll bring you a hangover cure then you can see how you feel after that.” You instructed. He nodded his head like an obedient child. You went downstairs to get a small bottle and a glass of water.

“Thank you.” He received the two, drinking one after another, cringing slightly at the bitterness. 

“It should help your headache and funny stomach. I’ll go check on the others to see if they need help.” You told him, tucking him back into bed under the blanket. 

“Will you come back?” He held your hand. 

~~

Ko-fi link

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[oneshotnewbie]

Can you do a one shot of Derek and Amelia reacting to little sisters suicide attempt?

A/N: TRIGGER WARNING!

THIS ONESHOT CONTAINS MENTIONS AND PERFORMANCE OF SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION!

PLEASE, IF YOU ARE AFFECTED, I ASK YOU TO NOT READ THIS STORY!

I DON’T WANT TO TRIGGER YOU AND PUT YOU IN DANGER.

PLEASE SKIP THIS TEXT!!!!!!!!

---- Today was another day of hell for you.

It was mid summer, the sun was beaming through the city almost permanently and the heat pushed people to go outside. Everyone was happy, everyone was laughing and spending time with their family, except you.

You came home from university earlier just wanting to go to bed and do nothing besides staring blankly at the white bedroom wall.

You didn’t have the strenght to do anything. You felt empty and useless. Worthless. You felt that the world would be a much better place and your siblings would have a much better life if you weren’t there. Because overall, what have you already achieved?

It hit you like a brick in the face.

The feelings you were hiding behind fake smiles and laughter from your friends and siblings came over you and your wall began to crumble. As if your clear thinking was switched off, you walked to your desk and looked for something that was sharp.

With a short-circuit reaction, you unscrewed the screw on your work scissors and took one of the cutting knives with you on the floor. Then you looked for your suicide note from one of your notepads that you had written months ago and put it next to you.

You were done with this world and yourself. Thoughts have been your enemy for too long and you have been a victim of their violence for too long. You wanted to put an end to them for a long time, but you have never been ready to take this last step. Until now.

The angel on your shoulder lost the fight against the devil.

There was blood everywhere. A puddle had almost formed on the floor. And you? You sat leaning against your bed on the floor. Your arms covered in blood and your clothes soaked in red.

The sight of it made Amelias own blood freeze. Her eyes widened and all the color drained from her face. Amelia stood there frozen and could not move. It felt like her heart skipped a beat. The seconds she stood so stiffly felt like years until she finally regained control of her body. She was completely overwhelmed and did not know what to do.

The brown-haired had so many thoughts running through her head and it felt like her skull would rip in half and her brain would finally jump out of her head. Her head pounded wildly with one simply question at the first place. Why did you do this? What brought you here?

Quietly she heard an „Amy? Are you okay?“.

It was Dereks voice, he had dropped her off at home and was supposed to leave right away but he stayed to make sure everything was okay, he had a queasy stomach all morning. And the feeling he had was right.

She turned her head to the left and noticed her brother now standing behind her. „Derek..“ was the only thing she got out before he cut her out. „Damn it, what is going on here?“ he said confused and immediately ran to you while you looked at him sadly.

Barely audible you whispered, „Go away. Please. You shouldn’t be here yet.“

While Derek tried to clear his mind and help you, Amelia was slightly relieved that she was no longer alone with this situation and she had someone, who thought clearer at the moment.

It took her a moment to understand the situation before she let herself fall in front of you and looked at you with fear and panic in her eyes. Derek just swore and ran into the bathroom. Seconds later he came out with a pile of towels.

„Here, we have to try to stop the bleeding. Push as hard as you can and call an ambulance.“ He spoke out of mind, in complete contrast to his sister, and threw one at her.

Immediately she did what she was told and dug out her cell phone with one hand and dialed the emergency number while the white towel under her other hand turned red in seconds.

She explained the situation in a flash, gave the address and hung up as soon as she was assured that both the ambulance and the emergency doctor would be there shortly. Now her focus was fully on you.

Derek had meanwhile taken off his jacket, tore it in two parts and tied your arms above the cuts as best as he could.

„Help is on the way.“ was the only thing that got out of Amelias mouth without taking her gaze from you for a second.

Your eyes were about to close and you heard Derek screaming at your sister almost in panic that they had to keep you awake. „Hey, sweetie. You have to stay with us, you understand? We need you here. Don’t you dare to leave me alone now! You said to me that only stupid people leave and you are definitely not stupid. There is a solution for everything, we can do this together, but you have to stay awake and keep fighting now, okay?“

Amelia looked at your pale face and there was so much pain in her eyes that it stung your heart.

In the background you could already hear the sirens on an ambulance which were getting louder and louder. Shortly afterwards you could hear a lot of people running on the stairs and you could see the paramedics in the door frame.

Immediately they put you on a stretcher and took you down to the ambulance. Amelia held your hand the whole time to show you that you were no alone while Derek, who was just as shocked as at the beginning, now stood in the doorway and watched the paramedics and you.

Once at the ambulance, Amelia had to let go of your hand, unwillingly. The doors oft he ambulance closed in a flash and the gravel crunched and dusted under the tires, which started moving at a frantic pace.

Your siblings watched the car afterwards, even after he had disappeared from their field of vision, until the sirens only reached them very quietly. Amelia sank down on her knees completely exhausted, tears streaming down her face as she didn’t notice anything of what was happening around her.

#greys anatomy #greysanatomy #amelia shepherd #amelia shepard #ameliashepard x reader #ameliashepherd x reader #amelia shepard x reader #amelia shephard x reader #derek shepherd #derek sheppard #derek shepherd x reader #derekshepherd x reader #derek sheppard x reader #dereksheppard x reader #oneshot #fanfic #fanfiction #imagines #imagine

[bignaz8]

Todd: Hello… Operator…listen to me…I can’t speak very loud. – This is an emergency. I’m a passenger on a United flight to San Francisco.. We have a situation here….Our plane has been hijacked…..can you understand me?

Lisa: (exhaling a deep breath to herself) I understand… Can the hijackers see you talking on the phone?

Todd: No

Lisa: Can you tell me how many hijackers are on the plane?

Todd: There are three that we know of.

Lisa: Can you see any weapons? What kind of weapons do they have?

Todd: Yes…. they don’t have guns….they have knives – they took over the plane with knives.

Lisa: Do you mean…like steak knives?

Todd: No, these are razor knives…like box cutters.

Lisa: Can you tell what country these people are from?

Todd: No…..I don’t know. They sound like they’re from the mid-east.

Lisa: Have they said what they want?

Todd: Someone announced from the cockpit that there was a bomb on board. He said he was the captain and to stay in our seats and stay quiet.

He said that they were meeting these men’s demands and returning to the airport… It was very broken English, and… I’m telling you…it sounded fake!

Lisa: Ok sir, please give me your name.

Todd: My name is Todd Beamer.

Lisa: Ok Todd….my name is Lisa…Do you know your flight number? If you can’t remember, it’s on your ticket.

Todd: It’s United Flight 93.

Lisa: Now Todd, can you try to tell me exactly what happened?

Todd: Two of the hijackers were sitting in first class near the cockpit. A third one was sitting near the back of the coach section. The two up. front got into the cockpit somehow; there was shouting. The third hijacker said he had a bomb. It looks like a bomb. He’s got it tied to his waist with a red belt of some kind.

Lisa: So is the door to the cockpit open?

Todd: No, the hijackers shut it behind them.

Lisa: Has anyone been injured?

Todd: Yes, ..they…they killed one passenger sitting in first class. There’s been lots of shouting. We don’t know if the pilots are dead or alive. A flight attendant told me that the pilot and copilot had been forced from the cockpit and may have been wounded.

Lisa: Where is the 3rd hijacker now Todd?

Todd: He’s near the back of the plane. They forced most of the passengers into first class. There are fourteen of us here in the back. Five are flight attendants. He hasn’t noticed that I slipped into this pantry to get the phone. The guy with the bomb ordered us to sit on the floor in the rear of the plane……….oh Jesus.. Help!

Lisa: Todd….are you ok? Tell me what’s happening!

Todd: Hello…..We’re going down….I think we’re going to crash……Wait – wait a minute. No, we’re leveling off….we’re ok. I think we may be turning around…..That’s it – we changed directions. Do you hear me….we’re flying east again.

Lisa: Ok Todd…. What’s going on with the other passengers?

Todd: Everyone is… really scared. A few passengers with cell phones have made calls to relatives. A guy, Jeremy, was talking to his wife just before the hijacking started. She told him that hijackers had crashed two planes into the World Trade Center……Lisa is that true??

Lisa: Todd…..I have to tell you the truth…..it’s very bad. The World Trade Center is gone. Both of the towers have been destroyed.

Todd: Oh God —help us!

Lisa: A third plane was taken over by terrorists. It crashed into the Pentagon in Washington DC. Our country is under attack….and I’m afraid that your plane may be part of their plan.

Todd: Oh dear God. Dear God…….Lisa, will you do something for me?

Lisa: I’ll try….if I can….Yes.

Todd: I want you to call my wife and my kids for me and tell them what’s happened. Promise me you’ll call..

Lisa: I promise – I’ll call.

Todd: Our home number is 201 xxx-1073…….You have the same name as my wife…Lisa….We’ve been married for 10 years. She’s pregnant with our 3rd child. Tell her that I love her…….(choking up)..I’ll always love her..(clearing throat) We have two boys.. David, he’s 3 and Andrew, he’s 1…..Tell them……(choking) tell them that their daddy loves them and that he is so proud of them. (clearing throat again) Our baby is due January 12th…..I saw an ultra sound…..it was great….we still don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy………Lisa?

Lisa: (barely able to speak) I’ll tell them, I promise Todd.

Todd: I’m going back to the group—if I can get back I will…

Lisa: Todd, leave this line open…are you still there?……

Lisa: (dials the phone..) Hello, FBI, my name is Lisa Jefferson, I’m a telephone supervisor for GTE. I need to report a terrorist hijacking of a United Airlines Flight 93….Yes I’ll hold.

Goodwin: Hello, this is Agent Goodwin.. I understand you have a hijacking situation?

Lisa: Yes sir, I’ve been talking with a passenger, a Todd Beamer, on Flight 93 who managed to get to an air phone unnoticed.

Goodwin: Where did this flight originate, and what was its destination?

Lisa: The flight left Newark New Jersey at 8 A.M. departing for San Francisco. The hijackers took over the plane shortly after takeoff, and several minutes later the plane changed course – it is now flying east.

Goodwin: Ms. Jefferson…I need to talk to someone aboard that plane. Can you get me thru to the planes phone?

Lisa: I still have that line open sir, I can patch you through on a conference call…hold a mo…..

Todd: Hello Lisa, Lisa are you there?

Lisa: Yes, I’m here. Todd, I made a call to the FBI, Agent Goodwin is on the line and will be talking to you as well.

Todd: The others all know that this isn’t your normal hijacking. Jeremy called his wife again on his cell phone. She told him more about the World Trade Center and all.

Goodwin: Hello Todd. This is Agent Goodwin with the FBI. We have been monitoring your flight. Your plane is on a course for Washington, DC. These terrorists sent two planes into the World Trade Center and one plane into the Pentagon. Our best guess is that they plan to fly your plane into either the White House or the United States Capital Building.

Todd: I understand…hold on……I’ll…….I’ll be back..

Lisa: Mr. Goodwin, how much time do they have before they get to Washington?

Goodwin: Not long ma’am. They changed course over Cleveland; they’re approaching Pittsburgh now. Washington may be twenty minutes away.

Todd: (breathing a little heavier) The plane seems to be changing directions just a little. It’s getting pretty rough up here. The plane is flying real erratic….We’re not going to make it out of here. Listen to me….I want you to hear this….I have talked with the others….we have decided we would not be pawns in these hijackers suicidal plot.

Lisa: Todd, what are you going to do?

Todd: We’ve hatched a plan. Four of us are going to rush the hijacker with the bomb. After we take him out, we’ll break into the cockpit. A stewardess is getting some boiling water to throw on the hijackers at the controls. We’ll get them….and we’ll take them out. Lisa, …..will you do one last thing for me?

Lisa: Yes…What is it?

Todd: Would you pray with me?

They pray: Our father which art in Heaven

Hallowed be thy name,

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive our trespassers,

And lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory

Forever…..Amen

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…

He makes me to lie down in green pastures

He leads me beside the still waters

He restores my soul

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for His name’s sake

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

I will fear no evil, for thou art with me…..

Todd: (softer) God help me…Jesus help me….(clears throat and louder)

Are you guys ready?……..

Let’s Roll……………………

[scapegrace74-blog]

New Ways of Turning into Stone, Chapter 6

A/N Where does the time go?  I lugged my laptop 7,000km round trip with the sole intention of working on this fic, but that apparently didn’t happen.  For those who found the last chapter hard to bear, I apologize in advance.  I am not quite finished being cruel.  With that said, trigger warning for character death, childhood disease, suicide ideation.  The chapter title is Sleeping in the Clouds.

The first five chapters are available on my AO3 page.

Five Months Later

A persistent mechanical bleating lifted Claire from the indeterminate depths of medicated sleep.  The emergency contact number she provided to all her patients was programmed to forward to her mobile, where a particularly aggravating ringtone ensured she would never miss a call.  Even at one am on a Tuesday night.

Fumbling for the device, she glanced at the unfamiliar number before answering.

“Doctor Beauchamp speaking.”  Her voice was gritty and rough.  She reached for a half-filled tumbler of water while waiting for the caller to identify themselves.  Over the line she could make out muted traffic noise, and perhaps a distant foghorn, but no-one spoke.

“Hello?” she inquired, torn between concern that a patient needed her and frustration that she might have been woken by a misdialed number.

“If you’re one of my patients, you need to talk to me so that I can help you.”

There was an intake of breath, a weepy sniffle, and then the click of the call being terminated.  A prickle of gooseflesh washed over her.  She couldn’t say exactly how, but she knew who had called, and that he needed her.

One of the grim perks of her job was that she had backdoor access to reverse look-up for telephone numbers, in cases where there was a threat of self-harm or harm to others.  As Claire hastily donned socks and grabbed a winter coat, she waited on hold for the PSAP operator to provide an address.

“We’re in luck, Doctor Beauchamp.  It wasna a mobile number.  In fact, tis a telephone booth.  Gote Lane, in Queensferry.  Down near the... umm, next tae the bridge.”

Without so much as a thank you, she hung up and frantically punched the app for an Uber.

Fifteen nail biting minutes and an excessive tip later, she stood in front of an empty phone booth.  Predictably, the directory had been torn out, leaving only a thin metal cord and car-key graffiti inside the cramped interior.  But on top of the phone itself she found a familiar ecru business card, her name and credentials embossed in black font.

“Damn it, Jamie,” she muttered to herself, palming the card.

If he’d hung up and started walking towards the bridge, she might be able to catch him if she ran all out, but something called her towards the nearby shore instead.

The tide was out, leaving a narrow strip of beach and sharp, slimy rocks exposed to the heavy air.  Her nostrils were assaulted by the briny vegetative rot of the retreating sea.

On a weathered bench facing the river, encircled by a cone of foggy streetlight, sat a man, his eyes trained on the smudgy lights of the Queensferry bridge hovering high above.  Even bundled in a heavy black jacket and watch cap, she would recognize his long limbs and the set of his shoulders anywhere.  She let out a long breath of relief.

She approached the bench cautiously, not certain if her presence would be welcome.  Instead of turning to greet her footsteps, Jamie addressed the bridge.

“Maggie passed t’day.  I called ‘cause I wanted ye tae know, but then I couldna find the words tae tell ye.”  Despite his refusal to look at her, his words were calm and without a hint of the bitterness she’d expected.

“Oh, Jamie.  I’m so terribly sorry.  I didn’t know her well, but she was a very special little girl who loved you dearly.”

He nodded in acknowledgement of her words, but didn’t reply.  She shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, suddenly aware that she was still wearing her pajamas, her hair doubtless a veritable cumulus of tangled curls.

“Is there anything I can do?” she asked.  “I still have some contacts at the hospital, I could...” she broke off, knowing it was ridiculous to offer professional assistance when she’d been the one to sever their relationship.

“Would ye, if it’s no’ too much tae ask, would ye mind jus’ sittin’ here with me fer a bit?”

He finally turned to look at her, and she could see the spider web of red veins that surrounded his irises, testimony to his heartbreak.  His mouth, usually such an accurate barometer of his mood, was strangely inert.  She nodded, unable to deny him such a simple request.

It was the time of night when the daytime symphony of the city broke into its component parts, every passing car, every lapping wave a single instrument singing its own plaintive song.  They sat in silence for long enough that she could feel the damp creeping up the legs of her pajamas.

“Maggie loved tae cross that bridge,” Jamie said at last.  “She’d lower her window, rain or shine, and stick her wee arm out, sayin’ it felt like she was flyin’.”

Claire smiled at the image, trying to picture the little girl with the giant imagination.

“What colour was her hair, Jamie?” she asked.  “Was it red, like yours?”

“Nah, dark, like Jenny’s and our Da.  But wi’ curls like mine and my Ma’s.  A little like yours, actually, Sassenach.  That is, before the chemo took it away.”

She grimaced, not knowing what topic to choose that wouldn’t lead Jamie on a path directly back to his grief.

“She fought sae hard,” he continued before she could attempt another distraction, “but the cancer wouldna let her win.”  Tears were rolling down his cheeks, glinting in the sodium light like stars, but he didn’t seem to notice or care.  “She was the best person I knew.  Sounds strange tae say of a wee lass, but she truly was.  An’ it made me a better person tae love her.  What the fuck am I gonna do now?”

Jamie was looking straight at her, as though he truly expected her to offer useful guidance.  All her training, her professional distance, fell away in the face of one broken man.  She swallowed, searching for words that weren’t a platitude.

“You’re going to go on living, because she can’t.  Because your happiness, when you are ready to feel it again, will be a gift to her memory.”

Jamie sniffed, then wiped his sleeve across his face.  He placed his hand on the bench between them.  Without allowing herself to think, Claire reached for it, finding his skin surprisingly warm.  There was an agonizing fermata, when all the instruments held their breath, and then he turned his palm upwards to meet her own.  Beneath the fog the river slipped by, blending endlessly into the sea.

"Look, Jamie, I know it’s not the right time, but I want to tell you that I’m sorry.  For the way I treated you, and ended things, and...”

“Nay, Sassenach, it’s me who should apologize.  I had no right tae throw my diagnosis at ye like some kinda weapon.  An’ when I think of how I heedlessly brought up yer becoming a mother.  I, of all people.  Weel, suffice it tae say I’ve spent many an hour regretin’ my words an’ actions.”

She squeezed his hand, wordlessly declaring them equal in remorse.

“How have ye been?” he inquired, peering at her as though trying to read her state of mind on the planes of her face.  She chuckled, looking away when the intensity of his gaze became too much.

“About the same, I suppose.  Better some days than others.  Geillis has started ordering my lunches for me, so I no longer have any excuse not to eat.”  Jamie nodded, seemingly pleased with this news.

“And you?  Are you still seeing Dr. Rafferty?  I... uhh, I know his office requested your file.”

In fact, Giles Rafferty had called her the week after her confrontation with Jamie, wondering why his new patient’s record of treatment contained no more than his biographical details and the time and date of each of his appointments.  She told him the same thing she’d told Geillis when she asked the same question in significantly cruder terms: that her weekly interactions with Jamie had never led to a professional diagnosis or a recommended course of treatment.

“Aye. He’s a good man, although tragically immune tae my charms.  Unlike some.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Fraser,” she warned, although his rakish grin warmed her from the inside out.

“I’ll be darkening his doorway wi’ some frequency, after t’day,” he continued with a return to solemnity.

And yet you called me, Claire wanted to say, but didn’t.  When his beloved niece had slipped away, hers had been the number he had dialed, despite everything.  The very idea made her thoughts flit about like fireflies.

“I missed ye, Sassenach,” he confessed quietly after a time.

“I missed you too, Jamie.”

They sat together through the thin hours of the night, talking, sharing memories of Maggie, but mostly in silent companionship.  As dawn brightened the eastern sky, the fog began to lift, revealing an overcast sky.  The lights of the bridge blinked out, and the city’s music began anew.  Claire wished futilely that day would never break, knowing that it would bring them both the pain of two very different kinds of goodbye.

Her hand, when Jamie finally let it go, felt strange, as though it had been separated from its source.  She tucked it quickly into her pocket.

“I.. errr, I need tae be goin’,” Jamie said by way of apology.  “Ian and Jenn will be needin’ me.”

“Yes, of course.  I’ll just, um, call myself an Uber.”

They were both standing, neither seemingly knowing how to part.

Jamie opened his mouth, paused, shook his head in frustration, then looked away.  Her traitorous hand escaped her pocket and found its way to his chest.

“I’ll be thinking of you.  All of you.  If there’s anything, anything at all..”

“How long until your no’ my doctor anymore?  Ethically speakin’.”  He was looking at her in a way that made the fireflies whirlpool about.

“What?” she asked to buy herself some time to breath.

“Before I go an’ face everything that is wrong about t’day, I want tae ken, how long must I wait before I can kiss ye again wi’out riskin’ yer reputation?”

“There’s no written timetable,” she stalled.  “It’s a question of a doctor exerting undue influence or the exploitation of the patient’s trust, and there’s really...”

“Those rules are meant tae protect the patient, aye?  So I should be allowed tae waive them, no’?”

“Jamie...”

“Fine, let me rephrase my question.  Doctor Claire Beauchamp, when can I, James Fraser, ask ye tae look upon me as a potential suitor and no’ a former patient?  Six months?  A year?  Two years?”

“You really are the most infuriatingly stubborn man,” she huffed.

“Aye, I ken.  Sae, two years?  Do we have an agreement, Sassenach?”

“Fine, yes, two years, but Jamie, I don’t expect you to...”

A finger was placed across her lips, silencing her protests.

“Two years are naught if I can kiss ye again once they have passed.  Until then, Claire, please take care of yerself.”

She stood by the bench long after Jamie was gone, staring out across the river.  A flock of geese flew by in formation, broad wings nearly touching the surface of the water as it reflected the steel gray clouds above.  She thought of little Maggie, and her birdhouse surrounded by clouds.  A sob wrestled its way up her throat, surprising in its urgency.  And then, she allowed herself to cry.

#my writing #outlander

[frostedfaves]

Repercussions (10)

Masterlist

Pairing: dark!Natasha Romanoff x dark!Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha and Wanda take you out for a bit and you work on escaping.

Warnings: dark themes, staged suicide attempt, mental health discussion, angst

A/N: good morning/afternoon/night! enjoy this chapter of reader using a bit of what she’s learned from watching her girlfriends...

Previous part

-

A few days later, you woke up to find your shared bed empty as usual. Deciding to get a head start on whatever they had planned, you took a shower and got dressed, grabbing a bottle of water on your way out to one of the swings in the backyard. You were lying on your back, looking up through the tree branches to the sky when you felt gentle hands lifting your legs and placing them on a lap.

“Good morning, sweet girl,” Natasha spoke to you in a soothing tone, smiling when you sat up to meet her eyes. “Have you been up long?”

“Yeah,” you sighed heavily in response that caused her to frown. “Just wanted to sit outside for a while.”

“What’s wrong, baby? You seem different today.”

“I guess being stuck inside is making me feel all moody or whatever. I don’t know.”

“Well, today is grocery day,” she reminded you, rubbing her hand across your knee. “Did you make your list?”

“Yeah, it’s in the kitchen with the main one.”

“Good. Wanda’s just about ready, so let’s head to the car and wait for her.” 

She moved your legs and stood up, grabbing your hands and pulling you onto your feet and into a kiss, a sweet one that had you smiling against her lips.

“There she is,” Natasha praised as she pulled away.

“Do I get one of those too?”

Natasha laughed when she spotted Wanda in the doorway, leading you over to the house and dropping a quick kiss on Wanda’s lips before continuing into the house without you.

“Printsessa,” Wanda began with a frown, intense gaze focused on your own as she touched your shoulders. “What’s going on? I could feel your bad mood across the yard.”

“It’s nothing, Wan. I think getting out to the store today may help.”

“I hope so. I hate seeing you like this.” Her hands slid toward the base of your neck, her touch warming your skin as she leaned in to peck your lips a few times. “Mm. Delicious as always, baby. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

-

You were given your list upon reaching the store, along with the freedom of shopping on your own. At first you noticed them hovering while you shopped, but they eventually backed off with time as they needed to grab their own things. You were quietly inspecting cereal boxes when you heard your name in a voice that made you freeze. Brittani.

“Hey.” She approached you quickly as you faced her. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for days now. What was that?! Do you need help?”

“Britt, you shouldn’t be here,” you warned, keeping your eyes and ears open for one of your girlfriends. “I’m fine, but please leave while you can--”

“No. I can’t stand by knowing you’re in an abusive relationship.”

“That’s not what--”

“Here.” She quickly grabbed your hand and shoved a small object into your palm, closing your fingers around it. “It’s a burner. I programmed my number into it in case you need me, okay? I’m only here for another few days or so, but I won’t hesitate to fly back out here.”

“You don’t have to do all of that for me, okay?” you insisted after sliding the phone into your pocket discreetly. “I don’t need any help.”

“Y/N, please listen to me! I can…” she trailed off, eyes widening slightly at something behind you as an arm came around your waist, the hand gripping your right hip possessively.

“Is this woman bothering you, printsessa?” Wanda questioned softly and directly into your ear and you nodded slowly, placing your hand over hers and lacing your fingers together. “Let’s go somewhere else while Tash handles this.”

You allowed her to guide you to another aisle, catching a glimpse of Natasha approaching Brittani and ignoring her calls of your name. When you got to the cart, you turned in Wanda’s hold to rest your head on her shoulder, wrapping your arms around her torso and sighing lightly when her hands began to run down your back.

“I got your cereal, printsessa,” Natasha’s voice interrupted your moment, and you pulled away slightly to meet her eyes when you heard the box drop into the cart. “Did that bitch touch you?”

“She grabbed my hand, but that’s it.”

She nodded in response as she grabbed the short list sticking out of your back pocket. “I’ll finish up in here, Wan. Just wait in the car,” she requested, kissing the two of you before you walked away.

“You’re okay, right?” Wanda asked as you walked outside, her arm around your waist again. “We don’t mean to scare you...we just don’t like anyone coming too close, especially that shitty ex-girlfriend.”

“I’m fine,” you assured her with a gentle smile. “Everything is fine.”

It was better than fine, but Wanda didn’t know that.

-

The rest of the day went without incident, coming home to unload the groceries and watching Wanda as she made an adorable snack tray for the three of you to have during your movie marathon. The three of you fell asleep during the second movie and woke up just in time to order something for dinner, which you also ate in the living room in front of the television.

“It’s Clint,” Natasha sighed as she looked at the text she just received. “He needs to discuss a mission with us.”

The two of them glanced over at you, wrapped in a blanket and asleep in a corner of the couch, and quietly decided to take the call in the locked office area in the basement. As soon as you heard their footsteps hitting the bottom of the staircase you sat up, pulling the burner phone from your pocket and drafting a text to a number you’d always remembered.

I need your help. Don’t reply to this or any other messages I send you.

You quickly explained your plan and signed it all with your name, putting the phone on silent and coming back to delete the text when you were sure it was delivered. You then head upstairs as quietly as possible, slipping into Natasha’s room and setting up a bug on her mission bag, repeating the same steps in Wanda’s room. Next, you wandered into your shared room and reached on the side of the bed, pulling out the gun Natasha hadn’t realized you’d seen her hide for emergency protection.

Your eyes watered as you stared at the heavy object in your hands, shaking a bit at the feeling you’d never thought you’d experience again. At least, you hoped. Part of you wondered why Natasha would dare keep any type of weapon this close to you given that she knew everything about you, which included the dark thoughts that led to the first time you held a gun. Still, she was an Avenger and former assassin, so the hidden gun made sense to you.

“It’s okay,” you tried to convince yourself nervously as you walked into the bathroom to see your reflection. “It’ll all be over soon.”

“Printsessa?”

The call came from down the hall, and you took a deep breath as you turned the safety off and closed your eyes, lifting the barrel of the gun to your temple.

“Baby, what are you--no!”

The gun was ripped away from your hand and smashed against the wall, and you opened your eyes as Wanda ran over to wrap her arms around you.

“Baby, please please don’t ever do that again, okay? We can’t lose you...I can’t lose you.” Her entire body seemed to tremble against you, and it reflected in her voice.

“What’s going on?” Natasha questioned as she entered the room, eyes widening at the sight of Wanda squeezing you against her and the remnants of a gun at your feet. “Wanda, what happened--”

“I’ll explain downstairs. Go.” You flinched at her unusually cold tone as Natasha left, and Wanda placed one hand on your jaw as she pulled away a bit. “Wait for us on the bed, okay? Don’t touch anything and don’t move, please.”

You nodded and sat on the corner of the mattress as she passed you and closed the door behind her. As soon as you heard her footsteps hit the bottom of the stairs, you jumped to your feet and pressed your ear against the door, listening as the two began an argument downstairs.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Natasha?! Putting a gun in a room with a woman that attempted suicide in the past, seriously?!”

“I didn’t--”

“No, you did know, Natasha. You told me!”

“It’s for protection, Wanda! If someone attacks us in the middle of the night, I can--”

“We live in a fucking fortress! We set this place up so that no one could get in and she couldn’t get out without us knowing! If you need the gun that badly put it in a fucking safe so it won’t be so fucking easy for her to get it! We almost lost her tonight because of your carelessness!”

A moment of silence passed, and you pressed further against the wood to make sure you didn’t miss anything.

“I’m sorry, Tash. Come here, please. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to lose her, Wan.” The words were separated by sobs and you felt a bit of guilt settling in your heart.

“I know, I don’t either. That’s why I panicked and I took it out on you, and I’m sorry.” Another moment of silence passed. “I’m gonna check on her while you calm down, okay?”

You quickly climbed onto the bed again, scooting back to the headboard and forcing yourself to think about terrible things to build more tears as Wanda came back upstairs. You lifted your head as she opened the door, one of the building tears gliding down your cheek without warning.

“Oh baby,” she cooed as she came to sit on your left side, quickly pulling you in against her. “You’ve got to let us in that pretty head of yours more often. Is this what you’ve been blocking me from hearing lately?”

You nodded, sniffling as you tucked yourself into her hold a bit more. “I didn’t want to worry you but it got worse so fast.”

“What happened when we left, printsessa?” Natasha questioned gently as she climbed onto the other side of the bed, wrapping her arms around you from behind. “I thought you were sleeping.”

“I was, but I had a nightmare. It was a recurring one I hadn’t experienced in years and with everything I’ve been feeling lately, it was too much. I came here to find a sweater or something to comfort me because I didn’t want to bother you, but I found the gun and my mind just went blank.”

“We want you to bother us, printsessa,” Natasha told you with a crack in her voice, and you felt a couple tears drop and soak into your shirt. “No matter what time of day or night, no matter what we’re doing...please always bother us.”

The two of them whispered more soft reassurances that you ignored as you sank further into their holds, getting in a comfortable sleeping position. They followed your lead when they realized you were tired, each of them kissing your cheek as they also settled, and you couldn’t fight the smile that came to your lips.

Phase one was complete.

-

Tags: @littlegasps @imnotasuperhero @nat-km-mh @natasha-danvers @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @emilyprentisswife @fayhar @cherrieloco @bebe404 @seventeen0 @muted-stoneheart @its-a-long-way-to-ba-sing-se @sxphiaswitch @wannabe-fic-reader @becka107 @buckmesidewaysandcallmesteve @trikruismybitch @beforeoursecrets @mjaudrey @messuhp @creepingwolfberry @cosmicbrownies7 @darkangelxoxo @witchxaf @sakurat123 @natashadeservedmore

#dark!natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff x wanda maximoff x reader #wandanat x reader #dark!wandanat x reader #dark!wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x fem! reader #black widow #black widow x reader #scarlet witch #scarlet witch x reader #avengers x reader #avengers #avengers fanfic #avengers imagine #avengers x you #the avengers #avengers x fem!reader #marvel x reader #marvel #marvel imagine

[tightwadspoonies]

Emergency Department vs Urgent Care vs Primary Care vs DIY

Disclaimer: This post is meant to be informative and it’s wording often assumes that you have access to all of the above as choices. We do, however, understand that the US healthcare system sucks, rural areas exist, lack of insurance is a thing, unexpected things happen, and unfortunately sometimes we don’t get all that much of a choice in where we seek our healthcare. If you need healthcare, please seek the healthcare you can access, even if that means using the emergency department for things that are not emergencies.

Also, please get your healthcare advice someplace besides tumblr.

If the above statement confused you, congratulations- you live in a place with reasonable healthcare. If you nodded right along with it, I’m very sorry to say you live in the United States of America, where pressures outside the severity of illness are often in play when deciding where and when to seek care for medical problems. Things like whether care will be available to you without insurance (or with any certain insurance plan) and, if you can actually get care with the coverage (or lack of coverage) you may have, whether the price for that care will be something you can afford.

Hopefully, not only will this post tell you a little about the options available to you and what problems they’re most designed to take care of, but also give you a few tips and tricks for getting the care you need in a way that works both for the system providing the care and does not literally bankrupt you.

When to go to the Emergency Department:

An emergency department is a part of the hospital. It is equipped and staffed to respond to the most emergent and life-threatening medical problems. It is designed to perform an initial evaluation of the patient, provide stabilizing care, and determine whether the patient should be admitted to the hospital for continuing care, or be referred to their primary care doctor for follow up. Patients are seen in order of severity, which can cause very long wait times for those who are otherwise stable.

Go to the Emergency Department for something that would either A, cause you to die without medical care, or B, requires a level of testing capabilities/care that is not possible outside of a hospital.

Things that could kill you or cause permanent disability without medical care:

Difficulty breathing

Chest pain

Uncontrollable bleeding

Seizures that last longer than 5 minutes, or stop and start without the patient going back to “baseline” in-between

Severe allergic reaction/anaphylaxis

Suicidal ideation with plan or inability to care for self due to mental health problem

Loss of consciousness

Poisoning

Spinal injury

Stroke symptoms

Severe trauma (car accident, gunshot wound, etc...)

Large burns

High fevers that don’t go down after taking over the counter medications

Things that require a higher level of testing capabilities and/or care than could be provided elsewhere:

First-time seizure or sudden onset of unexplained neurological symptoms like confusion

Abdominal pain

Broken bones (with obvious deformity or protruding from skin)

Coughing up blood

Head injury

Swallowing a foreign object

Severe dehydration

Active labor

Burns covering more than about a hand-size area

A US law called EMTALA (Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act) makes it illegal for an emergency department to refuse care to someone who is experiencing a medical emergency, regardless of their ability to pay. This does not cover continuing care, however, just the initial stabilizing care, and the patient will still get billed.

If you go to the ED and get billed, and you are under 400% of the federal poverty level, call the hospital and ask to speak with a financial counselor. They will often be able to write off part or all of you bill and set up a payment plan if needed so your account does not go into collections.

When to go to Urgent Care:

Urgent care is a lower level of care than an emergency department, but an urgent care often has things like x-ray machines, EKG machines, and an on-site lab. They can also do minor procedures like casting, inserting a catheter, removing a small/minor foreign body, and giving IV fluids. Urgent care clinics can be expensive without insurance and may or may not have the same ability as a hospital to write off unaffordable bills. I would always recommend calling ahead to make sure they take your insurance.

Go to an urgent care if you need primary care services outside of normal primary care hours or if your primary care office cannot see you soon enough for your needs. They often do not require you to call ahead or make an appointment. You can go to an urgent care for things that require a slightly higher level of care than a primary care office, but are not immediately life threatening.

Things like:

Broken bones (without obvious deformity), dislocations, and sprains

Sinus, ear, and eye infections

Minor allergic reactions

Cuts, burns, large splinters

Bronchitis, pneumonia, mild-moderate COPD and asthma exacerbations

Nausea/Vomiting/Diarrhea/Dehydration

Fevers

Rashes

Sports or occupational physicals (if you don’t have a primary care physician)

Doctor’s notes for work or school (if required same day as call-off)

When to see your Primary Care Physician:

If at all possible, you should have a primary care physician (PCP). If you don’t have insurance, find one that offers a sliding scale, meaning you only pay what you can afford based on your income and household size. PCPs are especially important if you have any ongoing medical or mental health needs, but most younger, otherwise healthy folks will still need their PCP for routine/sports/job-related physicals, screenings, medical documentation, referrals if necessary, and vaccinations. It will greatly help in the long run to keep up on these things. Swearsies.

PCP offices require an appointment, but many have some same- or next-day openings for acute medical conditions that need prompter evaluation. Many offices now offer virtual visits as well, either over the phone or through a videoconferencing platform.

Primary care offices offer care for:

Physicals (sports, annual, job etc...)

Chronic disease (diabetes, hypertension, heart failure, COPD, asthma, etc...) monitoring and ongoing care (meds and med changes, referrals to specialists, etc...)

Screenings and tests (blood pressure, diabetes, TB, strep, basic bloodwork, urinalysis etc...)

Vaccines

Prescription refills

Sinus, ear, and eye infections

Minor allergic reactions

Mental healthcare (some offer counseling services, many are comfortable prescribing medications for things like anxiety, depression, insomnia, and ADHD)

Impacted earwax

Birth control, including implants and IUDs

Cuts, burns, large splinters

Bronchitis, flu, pneumonia, etc...

Nausea/Vomiting/Diarrhea

Fevers

Rashes

Sprains/strains

When to DIY:

Sometimes you have a problem you’re pretty sure you can deal with on your own. This is a different level of comfort for everybody, and I would always recommend you reach out for help if you’re having a problem you’ve never had before or if you’re uncomfortable. Do not DIY purely for financial reasons.

Many larger hospital systems and insurance companies have a nurse triage phone number, where you can speak with a nurse who can direct you in self care or recommend you go to one of the above options. These are often 24/7 and free to use.

If you have a PCP, you can also often call their office or ask a question through an online portal like MyChart. This is also generally a free service.

Common DIY medical situations:

Minor sprains/strains

Colds

Splinters/small cuts/scrapes/bruises

Minor allergies

Infrequent, mild headaches

#medical care #USA #healthcare #insurance #emergency department #urgent care #primary care #DIY

[hargrove-mayfields]

so sorry im late asking this (i was waiting for you to get more, super surprised you didn’t get more asks tbh) but could I hear more about your wips “I have a crush on Barbara Holland” “baby fic” and “HOH Steve” also if it’s not too much “girlyfriends” and “cali house” and “medical emergency” ik ik that’s a lot but I’d honestly want hear about ALL of you wips in that list if i could. thank u in advance

It’s alright anon! I’ll accept these asks until I run out of WIPs to talk about!

I have a crush on Barbara Holland- This one is a soulmates au, where Steve has his soulmates initials, B.H., on his wrist, and he is whole heartedly convinced that that person is Barb. He’s very much in love with her, and there’s lots of talk about how pretty and nice she is (hence the title lol) but eventually she reveals that he isn’t her soulmate. Before she had hid the initials on her own wrist under a watch or a chunky bracelet, but she feels guilty, and shows Steve that her mark had long ago faded, because her soulmate passed away when they were in elementary school. Steve decides, despite how much value he used to hold in the whole soulmate thing, he doesn’t care about who some stupid mark says he should be with, so him and Barb date until her death. He’s heart broken, but the sadness very quickly turns into so much anger after Billy Hargrove, another B.H. rolls into town with a little S.H. on his wrist. He feels like the universe or whoever is even in charge of this soulmate bullshit is spiting him for thinking he could fall in love with someone he wasn’t destined to be with, so he rejects Billy for a long, long time, even after he himself figured it out that Steve is his match. When he does start to feel that way about Billy, he struggles with so much guilt and has to go through a very long grieving process to be comfortable with his feelings, because he’s not even sure if they’re his genuine feelings or the work of this soulmate bond. Very long and very angsty.

baby fic- Nancy gets pregnant that first time at the party with Tommy and Carol, and her and Steve try really really hard to make things work out for their baby, but it just isn’t meant to be. They make an arrangement that the Harringtons are very not pleased with, where Nancy has the baby at the Byers house half the time (because let’s be honest I think the Wheelers house is not really a safe place to be raising a baby) and Steve has her the rest of the time. Because it was like, a much more mature breakup without the cheating and the drunken confessions, they’re still pretty close friends. When the upside down starts making an appearance again, they have to try to figure out how to navigate it with this little four month old baby, and that means getting some help involved. Billy shows up at the Byers and instead of a fight, Steve’s all exhausted like oh good, you’re finally here, and gives him the worlds fastest run down of this monster fighting shit with a crying baby on his hip, and like, Billy just can’t say no to him asking him to go into the tunnels while he watches the baby. There is eventual Harringrove after a while, but it’s a slow burn for sure. This is also probably the least serious and least angsty thing I have ever started to write.

HOH Stevie- They’re all in the government hospital getting their post Starcourt once overs, Billy and El of course being rushed into surgery, and Steve’s about to get discharged when he gets addressed by name and just, does not respond at all. The doctor is like hmm, and checks his ears, and they find out he has almost no hearing in his left ear, and only about forty percent in the right. All that head trauma from the Russians and then all of the explosions of the fireworks, it leaves him deaf.

Everyone tries to be supportive, but his dad refuses to let him get hearing aids because he doesn’t believe he actually needs them (Steve’s a diagnosed hypochondriac) so for the next several months while his parents are still home waiting for their next trip, he’s struggling. He basically gets iced out by the party because he just can’t hear anything they’re saying, and the kids get tired of repeating themselves, and Nancy got insulted the one time he told her her voice is too quiet, and Robin wants to do things right for him, but she forgets sometimes, and will ramble on about something without looking at him and everytime he’s like great, I didn’t catch a single word of that, lovely talk though. It’s very frustrating and isolating and nobody seems to want to make accommodations for him.

The very same day that his parents leave for their latest vacation, he goes back to hospital. At first he just has to get more testing done, since it had been upwards of six months since the last time they saw him, and on his way out he notices Max in the waiting room chairs. He hadn’t seen much of her at all since Starcourt, so he checks on her, and at first she tells him to go away, because her friends have said some not so nice things about how much time she spends at the hospital, and assumes Steve is there to tell her Billy isn’t worth it too. Because that’s not the case, he ends up going in the room to visit Billy with her.

They do the small talk, the awkward, sorry about the fact that you’ve been in the hospital for six months now and nobody wants to come see you thing, and at some point Billy realizes that Steve can’t hear a damned thing he’s saying. He tests his theory by saying Steve’s name when he’s not looking and just waiting for him to answer but, surprise he doesn’t because he didn’t hear it at all, and Billy’s just like, you’re deaf aren’t you?

The progression of the fic is basically Steve coming to visit Billy everytime he has an appointment for his hearing (and more, but Bill doesn’t know that) but the day of his last appointment to make sure his hearing aids are functioning as well as they ever will for how bad off his hearing is, Billy’s acting different.

When he’d first walked into his room Billy had been surprisingly bright eyed and bushy-tailed for what he went through, but now he’s just acting all mopey. Max makes him tell Steve what’s wrong, and he confesses that he feels like he’s going to get left behind now that Steve’s all better, because then he has no real reason to visit him anymore. But Steve has one very good reason, and the rest of the story is him making sure Billy knows it.

girlyfriends- This’n’s sort of a non-canon compliant character study about aromantic! Billy, focusing on how awful and uncomfortable he felt with his past girlfriends, messing up dates and never going as far as they wanted him to, which at the time he pinned on liking boys instead, but then after he gets with Steve, he feels like this is different and he likes it, but he’s still not too big on all the lovey dovey, romance stuff. He rationalizes it as like, maybe just being a side effect of him being an asshole or something, but he‘s actually super insecure about how he is in relationships. There is a fluffy resolution though where he embraces his identity, it’s really not all doom and gloom, boo hoo I hate myself stuff.

cali house- Years after Starcourt, the boys have moved to a decent house in California using their government hush hush money, and they’re there for only about a month when Billy’s mother shows up at their door.

She says she caught wind that her son was back in town and wanted to come see him, after all this time. Billy of course lets her back in his life immediately, his mom meant so much to his recovery process and now that she’s here, he can’t turn her away, but Steve’s a little suspicious of her intentions.

He thinks that if she wanted to see Billy, she would’ve done that years ago before he ever even left Cali in the first place, or that you know, she wouldn’t have fucking left him behind. He tries to bring it up with Billy gently, but he won’t hear it, and he feels beyond hurt by the suggestion because he thinks Steve is just jealous that he’s spending time with his mother, who he hasn’t seen for upwards of fifteen years at this point.

They fight and avoid each other for a few days until Billy’s momma admits when he brings it up, over lunch or something saying like, “Steve thought you were using me or something, isn’t that crazy?” and she’s just like “Well, actually...”and tells him that money was tight, and she needed a little extra money, so Billy and his disability checks and his rich (boy)friend seemed like the perfect opportunity to get some.

He goes back home to Steve and expects him to be mad, to rub it in that he was right, but he’s really not, he’s super supportive, and you know, Billy finally realizes he doesn’t need to have this bullshit family thing with his mother, because he already has one, Max and Steve and his friends and all the people that actually care about him.

medical emergency (tw attempted suicide)-

Billy, who’s living on his own in an apartment downtown after Starcourt, deliberately doesn’t get his prescriptions refilled because he’s so done. He’s weak and he’s hurting and he doesn’t feel like himself anymore, and he just feels like he wouldn’t care if his body gave up, if he suffocated in his sleep or had another heart attack. So he doesn’t take care of himself, and when he runs out of oxygen he just doesn’t go get anymore, but he’s halfway to choking on his own blood when he realizes he doesn’t want to die.

He calls Steve, because he’s not calling the cops and he can’t remember anyone’s numbers in his panic, but Steve’s is written on his calendar, scribbled there because they were supposed to make plans for something with the kids. Steve takes him to the hospital, having to fight him to put the CPAP on him to make sure his lungs didn’t collapse before they could get him to Hawkins General, and Billy’s just, so bone tired.

They do all their treatment stuff and get his body back under control, so Steve finally asks him what happened, if maybe he needed someone around to help him remember his meds and stuff, and Billy just, he breaks, like a dam overfilled he just pours out with all of this helplessness and sadness he’d been feeling, how he doesn’t want to live the way he does or at all anymore, and Steve’s heart just breaks for him.

He moves in with him, nobody’s willing to leave him alone after what happened, and Steve (along with Billy getting a new therapist because the old one was incompetent enough to not notice how bad off he was) helps him to realize he has something to live for.

#answered #anonymous #ejs wips #ej writer #yeah theres no such thing as sending it late #if y’all want to ask me just ask me! dont worry about it!

[bechloeislegit]

25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020

Day 4 - (Not a) Fire and Rescue

Prompt from FanFiction User Smart Owl: Firefighter AU: I went a little bit off prompt; I hope you like what I did with it.

NOTE: See the end for the full prompt.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beca Mitchell swallowed hard as she stared down at the street six floors below.

"Damn cat," Beca muttered, looking to her right to see the gray bundle of fur sitting on the ledge, staring at her. "Lexie, get back in here!"

The cat stared back at Beca before standing and following the ledge around the corner of the building.

Beca jerked her head back, smacking it against the open window.

"Fuck!" Beca cried out, rubbing the back of her head.

Beca hurried away from the window and went to her bedroom to see if she could see where Lexie went.

Lexie was sitting outside the bedroom window looking in at Beca. Beca moved slowly to the window and opened it.

"Come on, Lexie," Beca said. "I have treats, but you have to come back inside to get them."

Lexie's ears and tail twitched. She turned and started walking along the ledge, back toward the front of the building. Without thinking, Beca climbed out onto the ledge; immediately realizing it was a mistake.

She closed her eyes and chanted, "Don't look down. Don't look down."

She felt something touch her face and jerked her head back and opened her eyes. Lexie sat in front of her, staring at her with their noses just inches apart. Beca was startled when Lexie jumped onto her back. Beca could feel her walking down her back and suddenly she wasn't there. When Beca looked back, she saw that Lexie had jumped back inside the apartment.

"At least one of us is safe," Beca muttered as she thought of her next move.

A sudden gust of wind blew, causing Beca to panic slightly. She scooted forward and wedged herself into the corner with her back to the wall.

~~ Day 4 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

Beca managed to get her phone out of her pocket without dropping it. She placed the call.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" The 911 operator said.

"Um, yeah," Beca said. "I need a fire truck with a long-assed ladder that can reach the sixth floor of an apartment building."

"What's the address?" the 911 operator asked

"1960 Pine Street."

"Is there a fire?" the 911 operator asked. "Are you trapped in your apartment?"

"No," Beca replied. "I'm outside my apartment on the ledge, six stories up and I'm having a slight panic attack."

"Stay calm," the operator said. "I'm sending fire and rescue to you, right away."

A few blocks away, Engine Co. 27's alarm blared.

"Engine 27! Rescue 27! Please respond to 1960 Pine Street. We have a possible jumper on the sixth-floor ledge of her building, requesting emergency assistance."

"Let's go, Beale, Swanson," Captain Smith called out. "We have a possible jumper."

"Why do so many people want to commit suicide just before Christmas," firefighter Chloe Beale muttered to no one in particular as she climbed into the engine truck.

"I guess they feel hopeless and alone during the holidays," Jesse Swanson, Chloe's fellow firefighter, said. "Depression during the holidays is the number one reason for most suicide attempts this time of year."

Chloe didn't say anything as she tightened her jacket and pulled the head covering over her red hair. She then placed her helmet on her head, slapping down the face shield.

"Beale, when we get there, I want you to go up the ladder and try and talk this woman down," Captain Smith said.

"Roger that, Captain," Chloe said.

"Swanson, you and Walp will go up to the apartment to make entry," the Captain said. "Wait for Beale's command so you don't scare the poor woman into falling off the ledge."

"Yes, sir," Jesse and Chicago responded.

"Okay, guys," Chloe said. "I'll assess her anxiety level and try to get her to come down the ladder. If I can't, I'll grab her and give you the okay to enter the apartment. You guys can take her back in through the window, okay?"

"Got it," Jesse said.

"I'll be ready," Chicago said.

The engine pulled up to the apartment building and Benji jumped out of the driver's seat to secure the truck and engage the stabilizers.

Chloe, Jesse, and Chicago jumped out as well. They all looked up, using their hands to shield their eyes from the sun.

"Where is she?" Jesse asked.

"There," Chloe called out pointing to a corner where Beca still sat, trying to remain still.

"Captain, can you check with dispatch to see what the apartment number is?"

Captain Smith spoke into his radio and then called out to Jesse. "Swanson, it's apartment 6C."

Jesse and Chicago ran into the building as Benji called out, "Chloe, the ladder's up."

"Thanks, Benj," Chloe said as she climbed up to the base of the ladder where Benji clipped a safety harness around Chloe's waist. Once the harness was secured, Benji gave her the go-ahead and Chloe slowly started up the ladder.

~~ Day 4 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

Beca sat trying not to watch the activity below her. She tried to get her breathing under control as she heard one of the firefighters making their way up the ladder.

The firefighter stopped slightly below Beca and connected her safety harness to the rung of the ladder in front of her. Beca carefully watched every move the firefighter made.

Beca kept her eyes on the firefighter and wouldn't look anywhere else. Beca could barely make out what the firefighter looked like with the hoodie covering half her face and the helmet shading the rest. To be honest, what she could see of her, she liked.

"Wow, she's kind of hot," Beca thought. "Now is not the time, Mitchell."

"Hey," Chloe said, looking directly at Beca. "How are you doing?"

Beca didn't say anything; she just closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing.

"Want to talk about it?" Chloe asked, causing Beca's eyes to fly open and look at Chloe.

"Talk about what exactly?" Beca asked.

"I know the holidays can be a tough time," Chloe said. "But, this isn't the answer. Think of all the people who will miss you."

"What?" Beca asked. Her eyes grew wide as she asked. "Wait! You thought I was going to jump?"

"You're not? But, the dispatcher said the call was for a possible jumper."

"I'm not-" Beca stammered out. "I didn't -. That's not what I said."

Chloe quietly spoke into the helmet's mic. "Did you hear that Jesse? She's not a jumper. I repeat, not a jumper. I'll take it from here."

Chloe nodded her head slightly when she heard Jesse in her ear saying, "Roger that, Chloe. We'll meet you on the ground."

Chloe squinted one eye at Beca. "So, would you like to tell me exactly why you're sitting out here on the ledge, six stories up?"

"First, just let me say, I did not come out here to jump," Beca said. "I want to make sure that's clear."

"Got it," Chloe said. "Not out here to jump. So, why are you out here?"

"I opened a window and my cat got out. She was walking around on the ledge like she was walking through a park or something. I thought I could come out and persuade her back inside. Barring that, I thought I'd just grab her and take her back inside whether she liked it or not. I thought wrong on both counts. But, I was also right, because Lexie is safely inside and I'm the one who's actually stuck out here."

Beca took a deep breath and let it out. "And I might be panicking just a little."

Chloe held back a chuckle, but couldn't hold back her smile.

"God, she's adorable," Chloe thought.

"Want to come with me?" Chloe asked. "I can get you back on solid ground."

"Are we going to climb back through the window?" Beca asked. "Because I don't think I can do that."

"We'll go down the ladder," Chloe said. "That way I'll be able to support and protect you on the way down."

Beca made the mistake of looking down. She gasped and slammed her eyes shut.

"Don't look down," Chloe warned.

"I got that," Beca snapped, eyes still closed. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at Chloe. "Can you move a little closer?"

Chloe looked at Beca and disconnected her safety harness so she could move to where she was three rungs below Beca and even with her body; she reconnected the harness and situated herself so she could grab Beca easily.

"Give me your hand," Chloe said, reaching for Beca's hand that was closest to her. "I'm going to help you get your feet on the ladder."

Beca hesitantly moved her hand and Chloe grabbed it; she used her free to grab Beca around the waist.

"Put your arms around my neck," Chloe said.

Beca did as she was told and Chloe lifted Beca off the ledge. Beca squealed and squeezed Chloe tighter, wrapping her legs around Chloe's torso.

"Are you okay?" Chloe asked, maintaining her hold around Beca's waist.

"I, I think so," Beca said.

"Good," Chloe said, smirking. "I don't think I've ever said this to a beautiful girl before, but I need you to unwrap your legs from around me."

Beca scoffed and Chloe smirked. "Okay, how about you just unwrap one leg and slide your foot down to the rung just above where I am standing."

"I'm kind of scared," Beca said.

"I know," Chloe said. "But you don't need to worry. I've got you and I will not let you fall."

"You promise?" Beca asked, looking into Chloe's eyes.

"I promise," Chloe said, staring back into Beca's eyes.

"You have pretty eyes," Beca said softly, thinking Chloe wouldn't hear her.

"Thank you," Chloe said. "So do you."

Beca blushed as Chloe said, "You ready to get down from here?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Beca said.

Chloe placed one hand on Beca's leg and slid it from around her waist. Beca then moved her leg and slid it down Chloe's body until her foot found the ladder rung.

"There you go," Chloe said. "Now, let's do the other leg."

Beca moved her other leg and was now standing with her arms around Chloe's shoulders and both feet firmly on the ladder. Chloe continued to hold Beca around the waist.

Once Beca was stable, Chloe transferred the safety harness to Beca's waist and held onto it as they slowly made their way down the ladder.

Hands were grabbing at Beca as they got to the lower rungs. Beca was helped down and Chloe followed her off the rig.

Beca started to walk away only to find Chloe was still holding her by the safety harness.

"Oh," Beca said. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Chloe said as she put her arms around Beca to unhook the harness.

Beca's breath hitched when Chloe's hand accidentally grazed her ass.

"Would it weird you out if I asked you out to dinner?" Chloe asked Beca as she finished removing the harness.

Just then radios started blaring with another emergency call.

"Come on, Beale," Captain Smith yelled. "Duty calls."

Chloe turned to Beca and said, "I'm sorry, but I have to go." Chloe turned away from Beca and called out, "Coming Captain."

Chloe ran to the truck, taking one last look back at Beca before climbing inside.

"I'd love to have dinner with you," Beca whispered as the engine drove off.

~~ Day 4 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

"Are you okay, Beca?" Stacie, Beca's best friend, asked after Beca finished telling her about her encounter with the hot firefighter.

"I'm fine, Stacie," Beca said. "But this firefighter was really pretty. Gorgeous actually."

"Why didn't you ask her out?" Stacie asked.

"She actually asked me," Beca said. "But, they had another call and I never got a chance to answer her."

"Can't you go to the station and find her?" Stacie asked.

"I don't even know her name," Beca said. "Wait, I think her Captain called her Beale or something like that. But I don't have a first name."

"You can still go to the station and ask for Beale," Stacie said. "They usually call each other by their last names. I'm sure someone will know who you mean."

"That's kind of stalkerish, isn't it?" Beca asked.

"Maybe," Stacie said. "But at least you'd get to answer her question about a date."

"I don't know," Beca said. "It's been a few days. I wouldn't know what to say."

"When you see her, walk up to her and kiss her, then just say yes," Stacie said. "Then when she says 'Yes, what?' tell her yes, you'd love to go out with her and have her babies."

"Stacie," Beca whined. "That's not helping. There's got to be a better way."

"I know," Stacie said. "When you find her, ask her to come with you to our Christmas Dinner. I'm sure Brey won't mind if you bring a date."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Beca said. "This girl is special and I don't want you or your girlfriend scaring her off."

"We'll be on our best behavior," Stacie said. "I promise."

"Let me think about it," Beca said.

"That's all I can ask," Stacie said.

"Okay, I gotta go," Beca said. "Ask Aubrey if I can bring anything to dinner and let me know."

"I will," Stacie said. "Talk to you later, Beca."

~~ Day 4 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

"Come on, Beale," Jesse said. "You know where she lives, just go see her."

"And do what?" Chloe asked, putting her head in her hands.

"Ask her out," Jesse said.

"I already did that," Chloe said, looking down at the table. "She didn't answer me."

"Because we got a call and you had to leave," Jesse said.

"Or maybe it was because she didn't know how to let me down easy," Chloe said.

"I thought you were so confident about all that." Jesse used his hand to wave up and down Chloe's body.

"I am," Chloe said. "But, you saw her. She's gorgeous and lives in a swanky apartment building. And I'm just. . .me."

"That doesn't sound like the confident Chloe Beale we all know and love," Jesse said.

"Hey, guys," Benji said, sitting down at the table next to Chloe. "I just noticed that we all have Christmas Day off and was wondering if you had any plans?"

"I'm driving to my brother's place to spend Christmas with him and his family," Jesse said.

"Unless your idea of plans is cleaning my apartment and doing laundry, I have no plans," Chloe said. "Why? What's up?"

"I just got off the phone with my cousin and she invited me to her place for Christmas dinner," Benji said. "She said I could bring a friend or two from the firehouse. Would you like to go?"

"Um, sure," Chloe said. "A nice hot meal, a few drinks, and some company on Christmas? Sounds like a perfect evening to me."

"You could have that," Jesse said. "If you'd just go ask the girl out."

"What girl?" Benji asked.

"The 'not a jumper' girl from last week," Jesse said and grabbed his arm. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Keep talking and I'll punch you again," Chloe said, looking at Jesse.

"Okay, I'll stop," Jesse said. "But I still think you should ask her."

Chloe raised her fist and Jesse darted away. Benji laughed and turned to Chloe.

"I'll let Aubrey know you're coming with me," Benji said.

"Should I bring something?" Chloe asked.

"I was told no when I asked," Benji said.

"Great," Chloe said, smiling. "I'm looking forward to it."

~~ Day 4 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

It was mid-morning on Christmas and Chloe was on the phone, thanking her parents for the gifts they had sent her.

"So, what are you doing for the rest of your day?" Mrs. Beale asked.

"I really need to take some time and do laundry," Chloe said. "And give my place a good cleaning. Tonight I'm going with Benji to his cousin's house for dinner."

"Benji?" Mrs. Beale said. "He's one of your firefighter friends, right?"

"That's right, mom," Chloe said.

Chloe heard some noise in the background.

"I have to go," Mrs. Beale said. "Your grandparents are here."

"Give everyone my love," Chloe said. "And tell them I said Merry Christmas."

"I will dear," Mrs. Beale said. "We love you and Merry Christmas."

"I love you, too," Chloe said. "Bye, mom."

Chloe ended the call and threw her phone on the table. She grabbed up her dirty clothes and took the basket to her laundry room, thankful to have a washer and dryer in her apartment. If she had to drag her dirty clothes to a laundromat or anywhere, she'd never have anything clean to wear.

By the time Chloe finished her laundry and cleaned her apartment, it was time for her to get ready for the dinner party. She took a quick shower and got dressed. As she finished her makeup, there was a knock at the door.

Chloe opened her apartment door to find Benji standing there.

"You look nice," Benji told Chloe. "Are you ready to go?"

"Thank you," Chloe said. "I'm ready."

The two left and Benji opened the car door for Chloe.

"Thank you," Chloe said as Benji closed the car door.

On the ride to Aubrey and Stacie's, Benji told Chloe a little bit about them. The drive was only fifteen minutes and Benji pulled to the curb in front of a modest, heavily decorated two-story house.

"I see they go all out on the decorations," Chloe said looking around.

"Stacie is really big on Christmas," Benji said. "I think Aubrey just goes along with it because it makes Stacie happy."

"Aubrey sounds like a wise woman," Chloe said, laughing.

Benji and Chloe got out of the car and walked up to the front door. Benji knocked and the door was opened by two very attractive women. Chloe couldn't help but look them up and down.

"Benji!" the blonde said. "I'm glad you could make it."

"Aubrey, Stacie," Benji said. "I'd like you to meet my friend Chloe Beale."

Stacie gasped and looked at Chloe. "Did he say your last name was Beale?"

"Yes, that's right."

"You wouldn't happen to be a firefighter by any chance?"

"I am. I'm at Station 27 with Benji," Chloe said. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"Come in, come in," Stacie said.

Chloe looked at Benji with a raised eyebrow; Benji just shrugged as they both entered the house.

Stacie immediately takes Chloe's arm to stop her. "I know I just met you, but I've got a Christmas present for you."

"I'm sorry," Chloe said. "What?"

"Just come with me," Stacie said. "If my hunch is right, you and I are going to make someone's night."

Chloe let Stacie lead her further into the house, confused at what was happening.

"Beca!" Stacie called out, causing Beca to turn toward her.

Chloe's eyes widened as she caught sight of Beca. Beca's eyes widened as she caught sight of Chloe.

"Oh, my God!"

"It's you!"

"Merry Christmas," Stacie said and she gave Chloe a gentle shove toward Beca.

Chloe stopped a foot away from Beca and stared at her with a big smile on her face. Beca closed the distance between them and took Chloe's face in her hands and smashed their lips together.

Stacie stood back with a smug smile on her face.

"Wow!" Chloe whispered as Beca pulled back from the kiss.

"Merry Christmas, Beale," Beca said.

"Chloe," Chloe said. "My, um, my name is Chloe."

"Merry Christmas, Chloe," Beca said as she grabbed Chloe's lip in another kiss.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Full prompt from FanFiction User Smart Owl: How about an AU where Chloe is a firefighter who rescues Beca's cat and Beca is smitten with Chloe (and the uniform). And Chloe tries to ask Beca out but needs to attend another emergency and leaves without an answer. They meet again at Staubrey's Christmas dinner and the romance ensues (with a little push from Stacie and Aubrey).

#bechloe fanfiction #beca mitchell #chloe beale #Christmas 2020

[huearmy]

Life is Beautiful - III

Summary: You are a glass half full person, your life motto is “Life is too short to… Insert something and anything here”. During your whole life you wanted something more, and even not knowing what it is, you put yourself to find out and get it, experiencing everything  brilliant that the world offers - within the measure of what is safe, of course. The curious thing is that your way of living ended up rousing  the interest of two vampires. One who sees beauty in everything and  loves to exist, currently working with suicide prevention; and another one who no longer sees grace in things, in that boring immortality that never ends, and only complains about the Netflix catalog all the time.

Pairing: Jimin x reader / Taehyung x reader.

Genre: fluff, angst, mature (not really a smut i guess?)…

Words:   8k+.

Rating: +18

Warnings:    As much as my writing is soft and light, and as these are not the main  topic of the story, treated in a non-descriptive way, there are sensitive themes from the beginning of the first chapter to the end of the fic that can trigger sensitive people, like depression, suicide, addictions in general - Jimin literally works at a suicide prevention center here.  SO PLEASE! Read responsibly, my intention when dealing with topics like  this is always 1) dealing with them in myself, as a way of putting out  part of my own healing process 2) generating identification in other  people, so they can go through the difficult time a little less alone.  THIS IS A STORY THAT SEES THE WORLD WITH POSITIVITY.

Chapter I Chapter II -

As soon as Jimin left for his date with you, giving one last thanks kiss on Taehyung's cheek, the house suddenly became darker and too huge, all the colors and brightness going away with Jimin's presence.

Even after a few minutes Taehyung was still on his spot in the middle of the living room, where he wished his best friend luck. What should he do now? How should he spend his empty time? He looked around, bored eyes not fixing on anything in particular. He slowly walked to the kitchen, just because it was the first door in front of him, and without thinking at all, opened the fridge. Since it was the refrigerator of two vampires, obviously there was only one thing inside, a few bags of blood labeled by type, and nothing more but empty space. It had been a few days since the last time Tae had eaten, and it was nowhere near as much as he was used to consuming, or as much as Jimin wanted him to take. He could feel his stomach empty, but he had no desire to take even a drop, almost feeling sick at the idea. He closed the fridge.

He sighed. A whine caught his attention to the floor, a tiny, cute, confused Yeontan looking up at him.

"You would never leave me, right?" Tae asked with a pout. The puppy just whined again. Tae picked him up, right in front of his face. "I need to find a way to turn you into an immortal creature."

With the little dog firm in his arms he got back to his room, seeing no other option on what to do than play video games till Jimin's return. His colorful neon set up welcoming waiting for him. Games are just uninteresting as series and movies, but at least playing online, with unknown, and often hostile, people, he feels a little less lonely. He has kind of some friends or so called, he doesn't really know any of them, never have met them in real life - he doesn't even want to - but it's been a while since they occupied an important part of Tae's existence, just for being his company.

He played with the loud people till around four in the morning, keeping himself silent in the call for most of the time, just hearing them teasing themselves and picking silly fights over nothing from time to time, talking only when someone talked directly at him. Then the mortals one by one go to bed, and he goes all alone again. Even Yeontan is soundly sleeping.

What should he do now? And why didn't Jimin come home yet? It had been more than ten hours since he left... He got into the bad habit of getting home in the morning, betting on running in the sun, almost killing Tae with worry. Maybe he had so much fun that he lost track of time, maybe there's another cat to find... But what if something bad happened? Should dates take so long to end? Should Tae call? He never calls, today shouldn't be any different... Maybe he would get in the way of something fun or important, the last thing he wants is to bother Jimin...

At the end Taehyung was standing by the front window, hiding behind the curtains, not moving a muscle, waiting, as usual. The street was empty, no light coming from the other big beautiful houses's windows, no cars or pedestrians to observe, yet that was what he was doing. The dark sky started to light up, his eyes adapting to it, the sun showing up painfully slowly. A movement caught  Tae's attention, his side neighbor taking the trash out, like he always do on tuesday and thursday, and in the other days the old man still wake up pretty early and sit at his porch to watch the sun rise, drinking coffee, with his old cat on his lap. Taehyung saw him in this routine with three different old cats at different times. The old man practically dragged the black bag of garbage and himself down the sidewalk to the dump, with short and slow steps he went. As always. Maybe there was something wrong before and Tae didn't notice, maybe it was because of the wet grass and mud formed by the storm the night before that they still didn't dry, but the old man fell a few feet from the curb, and for some reason he wasn't trying to get up.Like, he was moving in some way, but wasn't getting up.

Taehyung waited, not blinking an eye as he stared at the man struggling on the ground, immeasurable torturing seconds. Then the man stopped moving at all. And something kicked inside Tae. He didn't even think, he couldn't. He was unable to stop and reason about it, or control his own body... To look out the window and notice that the sun had risen enough to illuminate the front door that he was now opening at full speed. When the sunlight touched his skin, it burned like hell, forming instant painful blisters, but he didn't hesitate and just ran outside. Straight to the old man, catching him without stopping and then crashing their both bodies on the porch.

"Hey, are you ok?" Tae choked, feeling his lungs burning. "Sir!"

The man didn't respond, instead he was emitting weird choking sounds, heart not beating the right way. Even before his self isolation, Tae didn't have too many experiences with mortals than casually knowing them and drinking from them, he knows they are fragile, but he doesn't study or get interested like Jimin, he didn't know what was happening. Was this man having a heart attack? A stroke? What should he do? He doesn't know the symptoms of their diseases... Jimin would know... But now Taehyung was all alone and half of his mind was focused on his aching skin that seemed to be melting into the sun itself. With his trembling hand Tae reached to his phone in his hoodie's pocket, already dialing.

"What is your emergency?" A voice came from the other side.

"H-hello... Good morning... I..." He stammered. "My neighbor passed out in... infront of his house. He is not ok. He is old."

"Noted. Please calm down. Can you tell me your address so I can send an ambulance?"

"Sure..." Tae recited the address he only uses to purchase things on the internet. "It's a big white house, with a big porch."

"An ambulance is already on it's way."

"Thanks..."

Taehyung tried to sigh in relieve, but now he couldn't stop thinking about his own bad situation. The porch was providing shadow for him to hide, but for how much time? And when the paramedics would come and see him like that, what would they do? He didn't have the strength to run back home, the morning sun is not so strong, but exposing himself to it's light twice is suicide. And he couldn't enter the neighbor's house, there was no one to ask permission to. There wasn't no one to ask for help. He was going to die alone. When Jimin arrived from his date all he would be able to find would be Taehyung's ashes... Nothing more...

"Jiminie..." Tae was crying now, dialing the only number registered in his contact list.

Just one second - literally - later his friend's voice greeted him.

"Yes?" Jimin's voice came like a whisper, a happy, satisfied smile audible in it.

"Jimin? Are you coming home?" Tae tried to sound calm, so he wouldn't ruin everything with Jimin date experience and all, but his voice betrayed him, showing nothing but the fear he was feeling. He just didn't want to bother.

"Tae, what's wrong?" Jimin mirrored his feelings now. Tae breathed once, the air burning inside, and then practically vomited the words of nervousness. "I'm outside, on our neighbour's porch. I can't go back inside... The sun will reach me, Jimin. I don't know what to do." He was panicking, the world around him was spinning, getting him overwhelmed.

"Keep on where there are shadows no matter what. I'll be there soon. Don't cry ok?" Saying to him not to cry had the exact opposite effect. Once again, vampire's tear ducts are basically dry - especially after almost being charred, their bodies retain all possible liquid - but the other symptoms of crying happen, and it can be quite dramatic from the outside, as if they were faking it. But the sobs and the lump in Taehyung's throat were very real.

"Jimin?" He called,he could hear Jimin and another voice on the other end of the phone, but he wasn't paying attention, he couldn't, instead his eyes fixed on the line of the sun on the wall, approaching him and the faint neighbor. "Don't leave me alone..."

"Just go, your friend needs you."   Tae looked around, searching for a place to hide, finding nothing but the old man's rocking chair, it wouldn't do much to cover him from the sun, but was his only option. He crawled across the floor to the chair, knocking it over with a loud sound of wood hitting wood, and laid curled up like a ball behind it.

"Jiminie?" Tae voice sounded petrified, he really was. After decades not stepping out  the house, the very first time was at minimum trumatic. "Yeah? I'm here."

"Can we stay on the call till you get here?"

Taehyung was terrified. They both were. If he was going to die he didn't want to be alone. He was feeling so pathetic.

"Of course, my soulmate." Jimin said, as soft as he could. "I'll be there in no time tho, so it'll be a short call. Don't worry."

"Please, drive safe." Tae whispered.

Jimin laughed, not a really fun laugh.

"I always drive safe, Taehyung, safety first."

"Liar." Tae pouted.

"Well, how can I save you if I don't pierce some red lights on this beautiful not so busy morning?" Jimin questioned, trying to bring some humor to the conversation.

Taehyung sighed, feeling the heat of the sunlight approaching him.

"You won't be able to save me if you get in a crash... How much time?"

"One minute." Jimin was tense.

"Ok."

Coming from the end of the street, around the corner, the ambulance with the siren on approached and stopped in front of the house. Two people in paramedic uniforms ran towards the porch with their equipment, heading straight for the old man lying by the door. Tae hugged his legs against his chest to get smaller, hoping they wouldn't' see him hiding behind the chair and just do their saving people thing. "Oh my god! There's another person here!" The paramedic woman said in horror, probably shocked by Taehyung's very burned skin. "Sir are you ok? Can you hear me?"

Tae whined. What if they try to put him in the light?

Before the woman could even get close to him, another high-speed car came from the end of the street, screeching, and instead of stopping beside the curb, like the ambulance, the sports car driver climbed onto the sidewalk parking on the neighbor's grass. Jimin came out of the car covered by a big black umbrella, stride and the jaw tight. "Ignore our presence and continue your work helping the old man. You won't remember us as soon as we leave." Jimin ordered, his eyes shining colorful shades as the paramedics got hypnotized and obeyed him.

Half a second later he was beside Taehyung, replacing the chair, covering his friend with a long black coat.

"Taehyung... I'm here."

"Jiminie... You came."

"Of course." He helped Tae to sit up. "Can you get up?"

Tae nodded and with Jimin's help he got on his feet. In silence they both walked below the umbrella to the car, and then Jimin drove back to their underground garage a few meters ahead. If time seemed to run desperately fast before, now it has stopped completely, leaving everything in slow motion and numb. As the large door behind them slowly closed they were swallowed by the darkness of the garage, their silhouettes static and tense, the only sound being soft aching whines. Gradually Taehyung's senses returned, he became aware of his surroundings, the other cars parked in a row, the light from the corridor coming through the door's frosted glass, the scratching of Yeontan on the other side waiting for them, the smell of a mortal someone who he did not know impregnating the whole car they were in... especially in the passenger seat he was in. He hadn't died in ashes, burned by the sun in a minute or less, and he didn't know what to feel about it, whether it was relief or awe.

After a long time Jimin sighed and left the car, one second later he was beside the other to help him. None o f them talked anything as both of them got up to the second floor, or while the bathtub filled with water and music was placed in the background to fill the silence.

"Take care as you wash that, and drink..." Jimin whispered, seating beside the tube as Tae got in, holding out a pack of blood to his friend.

Tea hissed as the water touched this burned skin, aches staying on its surface.

"Thanks." He took the pack, his voice little. Another long silence. "Aren't you going to ask what I was doing outside?"

"It hasn't even crossed my mind yet, to be honest. I was too worried about you..." Jimin pouted, resting his head at the side of the bath, facing the ceiling. "Thinking about it tho, is pretty obvious... Just be careful next time you help someone, please."

"I'm not good at it like you." Tae took a sip slowly, he was waiting to be scolded by Jimin, for some reason. "Sorry to make you come earlier, this way... I didn't mean to screw your date..."

It made Jimin smile. "You are the most important and constant thing in my life Taehyungie." He took a deep, full of emotions, breath. "And you didn't screw anything, Y/N was super understanding even if she was just half awake, and I can just talk to her later and make things out. She knows you are everything to me."

Tae just humed.

"How does she know I'm everything to you?"

"I told her. Silly"

"Cool." Tae's lips formed a tin timid smile, that's a nice thing to hear after such a stressful experience after all. "Hum... Can you wash my back? I can't reach it..."

Jimin knelt beside the tube and took a wet towel, taking all care to not put too much strength on his hands as he rubs Tae's injured skin. Almost like magic - almost - the water made the blisters to dismantle, releasing more ash on the surface, yet it would take a lot longer to heal properly. The better was just feeding and sleeping now, at least que floor was full of empty packs, perhaps as much as a healthy vampire should have taken in two months.Taehyung hissed when a specific one stung more when it burst.

"I feel like hibernating." He yawned.

"You should. Take all the rest you need." Jimin agreed, reaching for the hand shower, to also wash Tae's hair.

Tae closed his eyes as the water ran down his face.

"Will you stay close... taking care of me?" He asked in a small voice.

"Of course. We are a clan, we take care of each other hibernating bodies." Jimin joked.

And Tae laughed. What a rare, beautiful sound.

"A clan of two." ________________________________________________________________

You were waking yourself up with strong coffee in the kitchen, in pajamas - not that you slept in them, right, but it was your usual home clothes -, considering if you should spend energie making pancakes or just go back to bed and procrastinate to do all the house chores and study, and just daydream about last night instead, soon it would be lunch anyways... Your roommate, on the contrary, was in full swing, walking around with the vacuum. All her energy was draining yours, all you wanted to do was lie down and stare out the window with silly smiles gracing your face.

You drank all of your coffee at once before opening the latest rental listings you favored - all in the same region you already live in, or reasonably close to college. None of them make your heart warm as your current home, but you can't do anything about it, you need an apartment you can rent.

"Baby Y/N, There's a package for you down stairs." Lydia entered the kitchen.

"For me? I didn't order anything." You crooked your head in confusion.

She disappeared for a second on the corridor, then got back.

"I'm pretty sure it is for you... I'll get it for you." She smiled.

"Thank you, Lydia." You waved at her, calling her by the name she chose to herself inspired by the Beetlejuice movie.

Not wanting to be a vegetable all day, you got on your feet to wash your mug and then start your day properly. You have laundry to do, tons of assignments to catch up, and a new home to find. Maybe you should search for tiny student studios, you could live in just a claustrophobic room and bathroom for sure...

"The delivery guy was super cute. He told me it's a surprise someone sent you, that's why you didn't know about it."

"What the heck..." You laughed, feeling your heart skipping a bit.

Lydia placed a brown paper bag on the counter, clipped to the top of the package was a handwritten note in a letter you don't know, probably from someone at the establishment who sent it. You picked it, and as you started to read, a smile grew on your lips.

I'm still sorry we didn't have breakfast together, to make up for it I sent this little treat, I hope you like it, Sweetheart. - Jimin.

"No way, that's so sweet." Your roommate commented over your shoulder, where she read the note too, taking advantage of being much taller than you. You opened the package to find a beautiful slice of cake, it looked delicious. Apparently Jimin found the ultimate path to your heart. The part of you that like to be spoiled was dancing in happiness.

"You didn't tell me how the date went yesterday, but it must have been good..." She took the restaurant brochure from the bottom of the bag. It was an expensive establishment. "We did a lot of fun things..." You said with a smile with double meaning. "I'll eat this in my room! Bye!"

Said that you took the cake and ran back to your room on your tiptoes.You put it on the desk and took a selfie smiling beside it.

You: Thanx! <3 <3 <3

You sent the selfie and waited, unpacking the plastic fork that came with it, ready to taste. The reply, however, came faster than you expected.

Jimin: Can I call you now?

Could your heart burst even more? Instead of replying you called him already.

"Hey, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?" Jimin's sweet voice said.

"Like a baby. Thanks for the cake."

"Did you like it?" He was expectant.

"I don't know yet..." You were trying to open the plastic packaging with one hand, and failing miserably. You couldn't hold a self pity laugh to escape. "Just a sec."

You put your phone down and opened the cake packaging and taking a bite, a delicious bite. Still chewing you got the phone back at your ear.

"I like it." You decreed with your mouth full.

"Good." Jimin's voice dropped an octave, and it took him a while to continue. A very low music played in the background of the call. "You're not mad, are you? Because I ran out this morning..."

To be honest you were a little bitter, yes, at first when you woke up in the empty bed you didn't remember talking with Jimin earlier, the memory came to your mind just when you were brushing your theet minutes later, but because of the reason presented, and because Jimin didn't show signs of being a guy just interested in having sex with you and then disappearing right away, you pushed the feeling aside and gave the benefit of the doubt. He gave you cake!

"Not at all, Jimin." You smiled, so he could hear it in your tone. "How is your friend? What happened?"

"He got burnt... While trying to cook. Boiled oil." Jimin faltered. "He will be ok in two weeks."

You got a seat on your bed.

"Oh. It was bad then." You never had worse burns than sunburn for not using sunscreen, the kind that peel off for days afterwards, so you couldn't even imagine. "Tell him I wish him to get well soon."

"I'll tell him. He is a baby when he's not well. I already took two week out of work so I can take care of him properly."

"Two weeks?" You tried not to pout. You wouldn't see him at work for two weeks, if you would see him at all.

"Or until he tells me he needs me." Jimin didn't notice your swing of humor. "So I was wondering, since I won't be seeing you at work... What do you think about me picking you up at the end of your shift to take you home? So we see each other as usual and you get home safely, and faster too."

You were not expecting this. "Jimin, you don't need to... No need for you to wake up late at night because of me..."

"I've traded the day for the night for centuries now, sweetheart." He laughed "I won't be sleeping at this time, it won't cost me anything to pick you up. On the other hand, I'll be able to see you."

If before you were a little bitter, now you were just sweet.

"We can also hang out another time... If you're free." You suggested. "Is that proposal to meet your dog still standing?"

"Of course, sweetheart. We can appoint that."

"Nice..." You look around, searching for something to keep the conversation up. You were not fast enough..

"I'll turn off. Ok?" Jimin said.

"Sure. I have tons of clothes to fold..." You let a self mockery laugh out. "Till soon."

"Bye bye."

He was gone. And you were alone with your expectations and a piece of cake. Still, your whole mind was full of Jimin to think of, so you fought your will to spend the day in bed after a long and hectic week, and a long and fun night, and got up to do your chores, putting on the headset and playing on the list of lively songs to tidy up the house. Is a super fun playlist you have, would it be nice to send it to Jimin? Maybe you should make a playlist for him... Yeah it would be nice. ________________________________________________________________

Jimin turned off the phone and looked at Taehyung's sleeping face. After the bath, he made his friend drink some more packs before putting him to bed, and only after he promised once again not to leave Taehyung alone, that he finally closed his eyes and let the deep sleep take him. Hibernation is to make the vampire stronger, so that they can heal from wounds or even emotional trauma, to rest fully as almost no other creature on earth can... But it is also the most vulnerable moment for them too, so great clans have great dungeons very well kept. Now, these two young vampires only have each other.

Tae's skin was full of round spots the color of recent burns, a pale pink, not pretty, even if the boy himself is the most beautiful creature. His eyebrows were still tense, as if he's still afraid. "I'll be here when you wake up, silly." Jimin massaged the center of his forehead lightly, trying to make him relax, and brushing his hair out of his face. "I have nowhere to go."

At the very beginning, Jimin was alone, since his first memory. All by himself he lived as a wanderer. Until that man came and offered to take care of him, turning him into an immortal, in return all Jimin needed to do was call him a master and be loyal. There were others besides him, a girl very much like the master, a concun lady, a tall woman with long hair, a man with a serious face. The master called everyone a family, each had his role, as a joke, Jimin was the eldest son... Still, he was still alone. He never bonded with any of them, even if he tried.

One day he just walked away, all by himself, as a wanderer. The world was beautiful to see, to know about, to experience, even if all alone he would be happy living like this. He traveled and visited places he didn't even know existed, even after becoming a vampire the world was too small for him at first. Then he started to expand this world. Decades after his emancipation he met Taehyung on a train. The boy was a newly transformed vampire, lost, not knowing what to do or where to go, scared with all things that happened to him without warning. Unlike Jimin, who was a planned transformation, Taehyung had been an accident by a very inexperienced and foolish vampire, who didn't even see that his prey was not dead when he ran away. He was dealing with everything alone.

Jimin offered to take care of him, in return Taehyung should be his friend. They were the cure for each other's loneliness, and nothing in the world is more important than that.

So, for hours, lying next to his sleeping friend, Jimin stayed, and stayed. He would move from there only when the bloodthirsty sink in - or when Yeontan needed food etc. Never getting too far from Tae's room. ________________________________________________________________

Two days went by till Jimin felt his throat dry and stomach hurting and got down to the kitchen. The fridge was empty, literally, all packs ended after the incident. "I need to get more..." Jimin muttered to himself. "Dog food and snacks are also running out... And I could buy some... I'll make a list."

He pulled out a stool and sat down at the kitchen island, and opened his notes. Messages of yours popped up on the screen. You: hey. I wanted to make a dad joke.

You: about being tired

You: cuz im tired af

You: but im toooooo tired to think

You: [image.jpg]

Jimin opened the image of you with a sleepy face hidden by your hair and the hood of your hoodie, while you turns over a can of energy drink in a coffee cup. It was a cute fun photo. Since your date you both have been texting each other nonstop, as soon as you are awake and until you go to bed, your fun photos and not so fun jokes making him feel less lonely or bored or sad or weird. Jimin: I don't think this mixture is very healthy.

You: probably. but i didnt sleep.

You: tday is my shif!!!

You: i need to stay up :(

You: [image.jpg]

A photo of you in dramatic despair.

Jimin: I'll pick you up. Ok?

He put the phone down and stretched. Jimin is used to interacting with people every day, and having Taehyung when he gets home, and the last few days without that was enough for him to feel the change and be uncomfortable with it. He is a very friendly individual who needs other's presence, anything he has to do at home is too boring when there's no one to appreciate it. He likes to dress up stylishly to just go out to walk, just to feel handsome and gorgeous. Now he was bored. Still the idea of going out, letting Taehyung alone and unprotected, even for five minutes, was eating him inside.

You: r u sure?

You: you don't need

You: i said dat already.

Jimin sighed.

Jimin: Yes. I'm sure.

Jimin: I want to see you.

And he needed to get blood too. All he wanted you to say was something to motivate him to get out of house, or else he would be in this deadlock, not knowing what to do.

You: i want to see you too

That will do. Jimin's smile got wider.

Jimin: Then there's no reason to not give you a ride today. See you later, sweetheart.

He left the conversation with you and went to another whose contact was without a name or photo to identify. Jimin: I'm going to pick up my orders today. Please get everything ready.

As usual no answer. Jimin got back at writing down his “grocery” list, consisting of things for dogs, personal hygiene and cleaning products. ________________________________________________________________

Jimin finished dressing and looked in the mirror, beautiful as usual, but not feeling as good as always. He checked all the windows and doors in the house, to make sure they were tightly closed, emphasizing those in Tae's room. He checked if there was water and food for the doggie, and replaced the pee mat with a new one. Everything was in order, but he still felt anxious when he kissed his sleeping friend's forehead before leaving the house. "I'll be back soon... I'll just pick us some food." He whispered, feeling bad for half lying to Taehyung, even if he was unconscious, and feeling weird  about the idea of admitting he was leaving to also see you.

He left, letting the room's door open so Yeontan could enter freely, and went to the garage. He still hadn't taken the time to clean up the ashes from the burnt skin that was left in the seats of the car he was using, so he passed by it, choosing another one, a model not so sporty, but equally expensive.

The streets were silent and empty, as the clock showed it was three in the morning. The only real movement he saw was of bars and clubs, as he crossed the center of the city. One or another homeless man lying under a marquee, with his old blanket and cardboard protection. In other circumstances he would stop and interact. He tried to focus only on the music playing on his phone, his favorite among those on the playlist you sent him.

Jimin finally arrived at his destination, parking in a vacant spot in a practically empty parking lot, in front of a private hospital. He wore a shoulder bag from the back seat of the car, and bypassing the front door of the emergency area, he entered through an exclusive entrance for employees. No one would see him or notice his presence. Having done this hundreds of times and knowing the way by his hand, Jimin guided himself through corridors all the same and antiseptic until he reached a pair of doors with a "Blood Bank" sign on them. "Good night. I have an appointment." He politely said to the nurse at the front desk. "Is Seokjin here?"

"Good night. Yeah, is his shift today." She held out a key to him, sleepily looking up. She was a human, but she knew what he was and why he was there for.

"Thanks." He went through the corridor behind her, passed by the lab and the blood donation collection room, and called the elevator at the end. The only option to go was the underground. Six seconds and he was in a very clean room with a too white illumination. There was no one to be seen beside metallic cabinets and refrigerators, and also an empty metal table.

Jimin waited.

From a heavy metallic door came a man. A really handsome and gracious vampire in resident doctor uniform. As he saw Jimin an enormous charming smile spread on his face.

"Oh, you are early. I was  finishing to separate your order." He sang.

"Hi, Jin. Anything special today?" Jimin put his bag on the table, and his hands on his pockets.

Jin clearly noticed his bad mood and tension.

"Not really, there's a lot of O+ and some A+. We haven't had many different donations this past week."  Jin cruzou os braços. "But as usual I kept the ones with the most delicious smell for you, the very healthy ones. As you and Taehyung are picky eaters."

"That's why I only negotiate with you."

Jin smirked and left the room with the bag, back through the same door. He used to help young vampires, teaching them how to hunt properly, as the centuries passed he started his little business of blood selling, good origin, discreet and without victims. Despite working directly with customers at the local point, his scheme is huge, practically a monopoly.

Jimin looked at his fancy wristwatch, you would be out of your shift in a little bit more of half an hour, and he should stop by the grocery store in the way.

Jin came back with the bag obviously full now.

"Everything is sealed and refrigerated but put in the fridge as soon as possible." He said as always. "And send my kisses to Tae, he doesn't respond to my messages for days now. Sometimes I have time to play with him."

Jimin considered telling Jin about Tae's condition, but opted for not doing it. This issue was something for the two of them to deal, and only them.

"I'll tell him. He loves playing with you on call."

Jin noticed Jimin's hesitation.

"I know. Bye." He didn't comment anything about tho.

"Bye, Jin. ________________________________________________________________

You like your job, you really do. Is something you feel needed as you do it, powerfull, helpful. Is something you believe in. But now, after a whole day deprived of sleep, full of stress on college, not finding somewhere to live next month, and mostly, after the last call - a situation you want to forget - you are destroyed, Crying pathetically in the bathroom was the most coherent thing you could do. You just hoped the mental breakdown would come in a place other than the office bathroom, and preferably it would be at home, where you could cry yourself to sleep in your flower pajamas, hugging your stuffed dolphin.

You stopped to wash your face and tried to breathe calmly. It wasn't the end of the world, you can handle this. Your supervisor already released you a few minutes earlier - because you were no longer in a position to work - so all you had to do was gather your stuff and wait for Jimin to pick you up.

As usual, your heart accelerated just thinking about seeing him again, especially now that you are a thing, this feeling compared to anxiety and stress is just divine. You: i'll wait at the lobby.

You: was released earlier today

You threw some notebooks and pens into your backpack and locked your personal locker before checking your belongings again - be careful is never too much - and went down the hall to the stairs. Jimin: No need to wait. I'm already here.

You almost jumped the last stair steps to the ground floor, passed by the concierge's empty space behind the counter, and before running out, checked through the glassy door if you could see Jimin or his car. At first you didn't find him, and was about to text him again, but then he lowered the window glass and you can see him in another car, different from the other night. You gaped at him - you're a very impressionable countryside girl - and got into the passenger seat.

"Good night, handsome." You said, putting your heavy backpack on the floor between your feet.

"Good night, sweetheart." He lost no time and reached to peck you in the lips, slightly holding you chin with his fingertips. The butterflies in your stomach were crazy. He studied your face closely. "You look dejected, did something happen?"

His care made you smile.

"Stressful day, lot of little things. It got hard on me today, but just it." You shrugged, an amused tone in your tired voice.

"Want to talk about it?" He cupped your face with both hands. You did the same to him.

"Honestly I want to sleep." You giggled. "What about you? You don't look the best either."

He sighed. Your care made him happy too.

"Just feeling lonely and stressed too." He licked his lips, thinking what he could or could not say. "I don't like to be trapped at home. I need to take care of Tae, but he is...  not well to make me company, so I'll be lonely till he is ok."

You looked confused but tried to understand, choosing not to ask any more questions. Jimin didn't quite explain what happened to his friend, but it seemed like something serious, and if he didn't want to give you details, you wouldn't insist. "That's sad. I hope he is ok soon." You timidly pecked him, hoping this would make him feel better.

It worked. With a grin Jimin pulled away and started the engine.

"There is something I can do?" You asked, still wanting just to be sweet to him.

Jimin made thinking pout, and you wanted to take a picture of it, not fast enough.

"Spending time with me would be awesome." He answered, making you hum. Your routine is so busy and hectic that having time to see your friends is always a miracle, because you either have work and college stuff or you just want to sleep. You started to count on your fingers what your next break is so you can hang out with him. He continued, however, already having his own idea. "Why don't you come to my place to sleep with me?"

Your chin dropped, but it wasn't what you first thought.

"You want to sleep and I want company. If we cuddle it will be the best combination of our necessities being solved." He proudly smiled.

A soft smile fell into your face as you melted. Life is too short to deny cuddles with the guy you like on what you’ll now call your second date.

"Sure."

"Wait, really?" He looked at you with round happy eyes.

"Yeah. Of course. Just borrow me a pijama or something."

To get out of the way of your place he turned the wheel abruptly to enter a return that he was going to miss one second later, crossing all the lanes of the empty avenue. For a second you got startled but then you were giggling at how excited he was at the idea of taking you home. Well, you were excited to take him home too, nothing more fair. As you moved away from the city center, to more noble areas, full of beautiful houses and buildings, you started to expect that any one of them would be JImin's house, but he just kept driving, until you were no longer exactly in the city, and some mansions started to appear in the landscape. Looking at these huge, clearly expensive homes, you wondered how many bathrooms each has. Jimin, on the other hand, was considering what to do to feed you and make you comfortable, slightly freaking out because there's nothing to eat either in the fridge or in the cupboards other than a box of cereal he bought to win a collectible gift. Did he need to do something to make you feel more comfortable? He never received visits at home... "I need to tell my roommate and my mom that I'm not spending the night at home..." You murmured to yourself.

"Your mom too?" Jimin frowned. "Doesn't she live far away or something?"

You smirked looking at your phone.

"Our city is four hours from here, but I always ley her know where I am. So she is not worried. Besides, we talk all the time anyway..." "Oh." He thought about it. "You two are good friends."

You nodded.

"In the way of moms and daughters." You noticed the car was slowing down.

"Can I send her a photo of yours? Just so she knows your face?"

"Women have to be careful, right?" He commented, thinking that it is useful to know the face of the man that your daughter is seeing if something bad happens. He read a lot of things about it on twitter, and being a vampire himself he knows how bad things can happen too.

"Yep." You made a face. "But I want her to see how hot you are. She asked for a picture before but I didn't have a good one."

Jimin was between blushing and smirking. But vampires can't blush because the blood doesn't circulate, so you didn't see that reaction, just the burning look he gave you from head to toe. The butterflies in your stomach exploded and died. Before you could take the picture you noticed that you were now parking at a garage, and your chin dropped  at the sigh of six more cars - seven in total, counting the one you guys were inside. The garage itself was bigger than the apartment you currently live in. Just the idea of so much money intimidates you a little.

"Take a selfie, then." Jimin passed an arm around your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder.

"Ok." You did as said, the flash illuminating the inside of the car. "You are also photogenic."

"And you are beautiful." He looked at the photo with a cute smile. "Send it to me too. Come."

He left the car and you followed him closely behind, he carrying your backpack for you. He took off his shoes to get in, and so did you, wearing the pair of cloth slippers he offered you. You grabbed the sleeve of the black blouse he was wearing, despite the low light available looking at the whole house over his shoulder, the hallway, the living room, the stairs, everything huge and spacious, and you noticed too, with a very masculine yet artistic decoration. Definitely for you, only two people living in this whole space is strange. In your family you are in six occupying a much smaller house. Whas that a grand piano?

"It's a nice place." You thought you should say something. "Cool design."

"Tae is responsible for that. He's a very visual person."

"I see."

He took you to the second floor, straight to his room. He dropped your thing on an armchair and looked around, expectantly. It was cute, there were some plants and drawing like you sometimes see him doing at work, an ukulele on the wall... It was as you could imagine his room would be.

"I don't have a clue of how to make you feel comfortable... What should I do?" He was honest.

You smiled sweetly and took his hand on yours, and he knew if he had a beating heart it would have stumbled at the sigh.

"I'm ok. Comfy clothes to change would be nice tho."

He kissed your forehead with a grin.

"I can manage that." And he measured you from head to toe again, now really to get a sense of the size of the clothes he needed to get you. And then left through the pair of the closet's doors.

As you waited you kept looking around and took a seat on the king sized bed, you were tired after all, feeling your eyes heavy and feet hurting.

"Jimin where is the bathroom?" You barely articulated the words.

"What?" Jimin came back with some clothing in hand.

"Bathroom..."

He gave you a fondly look and deposited his clothes - a t-shirt slightly bigger than you and a soft fabric shorts that seemed to fit you - on your lap.

"Next door on the left, near the stairs to the attic." "Thanks." You picked the clothes and your toiletry necessaire and crawled out into the hall.

On the way there was only one door on the right side of the hall, which you hadn't noticed the first time you passed it. A door ajar with an ambar lamp light coming from inside. Without thinking too much you stopped to look and saw in a bed who you imagined to be the friend, Taehyung, sleeping in the center of another big bed. He looked like those illustrations of Snow White in the crystal coffin, beautiful, flawless, but pale as a corpse, the face emotionless. He looked so unreal, felt like if you touched him he would vanish away like a dream. You don't know how long you were looking at him, a few meters away, but you only managed to look away when your heartbeat became too loud in your ears. And only then did you realize that you had walked a few steps towards him. You hurried to the toilet and closed the door behind you as if something was chasing you. Looking in the mirror, you couldn't name what this feeling was. More than quickly and still shaking you changed, washed your face and brushed your teeth, and to go back to Jimin's room you were with his head down. He was already in bed waiting for you in a pair of silk pajamas, and frowned when you walked in. "Is something wrong?"

"Nope." You denied it too quickly, embarrassed to say something like 'I saw your sleeping friend in the other room and for some reason it made me nervous'. Then you smiled shyly and climbed into the bed. "Excuse me."

Jimin interpreted your fast heartbeat as shyness and pulled you close as soon he could reach you. You snuggled into him too, and your eyes felt heavy once again, the smell of him calming and slowing you down. Before you finished settling into a comfortable position you were asleep. ______________________________________________________________

Then you had your cute cheesy morning with Jimin, as you wanted. He was with his eyes open when before you, holding you tight as he scowled through his phone behind your head. You looked up and the first thing you thought about was how unfair life is. In addition to the slightly messy hair, Jimin was beautiful as always, without the sleepy face or puffy eyes of someone who just woke up, it gave you a mixture of emotions of ingenuity and admiration. You sure looked like a withered dumpling.

"Goomorning."  You murmured against him. "What are you doing?"

"We have no food, neither me or Tae cook, so I'm ordering you breakfast. Did you sleep well?" He kissed your nose, as he added croassaints to his order - he couldn't let you enter the kitchen and see all the literally empty cabinets, the only exception being a very suspicious bag, full of blood bags, inside the fridge, that he put there yesterday without you noticing, using his superhuman speed.

"Babier than yesterday." You reached for your cell phone too. "Shit, I have a seminar about neuro-physiology in fifty minutes... Where's a bus stop nearby?"

Jimin looked at you confused, for not understanding the reason for your question right away and then for having no idea what to answer. He doesn't take a lot of buses to know where they pass. "Don't worry about it, I can call you a car. And so it's time for you to eat without haste." As much as you enjoy being pampered and cared for, you are the type of person who feels guilty when others do it in excess, especially when they spend money on you. And you're starting to feel that way with Jimin. On the one hand you want to accept everything he may have to offer since technically you have no reason to deny it, but on the other hand your paranoid mind can think of several uncomfortable reasons. Your insecurities also arise to say that at some point a handsome, rich guy with two degrees like Jimin will eventually be bored with you, a poor, broken, screwed to finish your first graduation, so why not enjoy it while it lasts? Damn, that also makes you very guilty... That's why you only have poor and fucked up friends like you. Jimin raised his eyebrows at you, and then you realized that you hadn't answered anything yet, and just debated the subject a lot inside your own head. "Ah... Ok. Thanks." You stuttered. Your brain just wasn't about to form full phrases.

He holds you tighter.

"Don't be shy. You are keeping me company, the minimum is to guarantee your transport." He took your face in one hand and kissed you slowly, lazily, and you returned it with a sigh. With his lips still on yours, he whispered in a hoarse voice that made you shiver. "And if I don't treat you well, you won't be back... And I want you to..."

You were about to answer the flirt, but a sharp bark interrupted you.

"Puppy!" You sang, rolling to the edge of the bed to see a little dog with pretty expressive eyebrows barking and jumping beside it.  By the power of all the cute things in the world you spoke in baby voice. "Own... cute. Hi hi, buddie." "Come here, Tannie." Jimin whistled.

The puppy got rid of your  anxious for pets hands and ran to the other side of the bed, and appeared a second later, jumping onto the bed and over Jimin. You rolled back, also leaning on Jimin to look the other way. "Do you have a ladder for him to climb on the bed?" Jimin smiled with your enthusiasm about it. "The whole house is adapted to be accessible to his little tiny legs." He said. You put your hands on your chest. "Oh, no. My heart." Jimin sat up to peck you again before getting up, stretching slightly. "He wants to eat, otherwise he wouldn't be here. Just a sec." He picked up the dog and left.

You pouted for not playing anymore, but you understand, you were hungry too, and you had to get up and get ready soon to go to college, or else you would get late. You jumped out of bed, got your things and barefoot even ran to the bathroom. The door to the other room was now closed, yet you felt a shadow of the feeling of the night before and went by it as quickly as possible, without looking in the direction. After that, you took a quick shower, ended up borrowing a t-shirt from JImin, because to wear the same shirt from the previous day was out of the question, you had a great brunch from a expensive bakery that you had never heard of, played a little - too little - more with Yeontan, and went to college by car, something totally new to you. The rest of the day you were chased by the desire to see Jimin again, to go back to his house and stay there, in the bubble of good things he gives you, by the feeling that you somehow don't deserve it, and by the almost scary feeling  that you felt when you saw a complete stranger in his sleep.

Notes: I said I would update it before 2021! HAHAHA Sorry it took a whole life! IF YOU WANT TO BE ADD TO THE TAG LIST LET ME KNOW. FEEDBAKC IS GOOD TOO. ____________________________________________________________

Tag list: @ireallylikeyourwriting @angrygardenerr​ @depressed-dude20 @milktaetae95 @tangledsparkles​  @wlalsrkfla​ @minikolima​ @beach-bitch-bitch-beach​ @midiplier

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