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#just said it wasn’t some ideal time period When everything got better
marzipanandminutiae · 4 months
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i feel u on 1920s hate. when everyone is like ‘finally women are free of ~restrictive~ corsets’ and its like . first of all. didnt need to be. second. how do u think the curvier women were achieving the 1920s silhouette. quickly.
Exactly. I mean, yeah, it’s not their fault at all that people were saying things like that, or that it’s reached a fever pitch in recent years. Great material gains WERE being made for women, and I’m absolutely not discounting that. But much in the way that people tend to throughout history, though, they firmly believed that everything they were doing was the best and most progressive that it had ever been. And that idea has been hugely amplified in later years
I think it also has a lot to do with the fact that the 1920s were, in many ways, the beginning of a world that looks familiar to us now. Widespread film technology, continued rise of electricity, clothing-ways that seem familiar to us today in contrast to what came before (for example the advent of bras and panties, although people tend to forget there was usually also a girdle involved),  Air travel, cars becoming more popular, etc. because it seems less foreign, we accept all too readily the idea that it was better in all respects than everything earlier
(And ignore all the ways in which it would still have been foreign. Like… The 1920s were not actually the Proto – 2020s, guys. It owed for more to its immediate predecessors re: era mentality and technology and even fashion than some people would like to admit)
I don’t actually hate the 1920s – that would be pointless and reductive, since it’s an entire decade that happened over countless countries, demographics, cultural groups, etc. I think I’m with you, though, in hating the way it’s been put up on a pedestal as the perfect progressive era that was unilaterally better for women in particular
(Also, I read a book from the 1951 about the history of undergarments, and this mindset is in FULL force even three decades later.The guy finds ways to inaccurately rag on the Victorians even in chapters that aren’t about that time period, and concludes with a stirring statement that they are now living in the perfect time for underwear and that everything is so much better and more progressive than it ever has been in the past. The fact that this man- Cecil Willett Cunnington -was considered one of the highest authorities on dress history for a long time probably explains the current state of the discipline, In terms of “you can say basically whatever you want and people will believe you”)
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ddarker-dreams · 2 years
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Omg SR reader on her period. How the bucci gang takes care of her?😳
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🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ TAKING OFF AT TOP SPEED TO ANSWER THIS
Warnings: Some mild not SFW implications, Reader is described as AFAB and uses she/her pronouns!
[Scarlet Ribbons description]
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Giorno
Your GioGio is excellent at reading between the lines and likely knows what you want before you even know what you want. His main concern is ensuring you’re content and as comfortable as you can be, he’ll stop at nothing to achieve this. Giorno knows you’re not helpless, but during this time, he tends to be somewhat more protective of you. Absolute zero tolerance for nonsense. Some pushy solicitor on the street keeps bothering you? He’ll wrap an arm around your shoulder and give them a stare so frigid even you can’t help but shiver. Tourists keep asking for directions? Giorno will either take over for you or come up with an excuse to whisk you away. He’s always an ideal gentleman, but he ramps it up when you’re on your period. You joke that he’s like a prince (a comment that actually manages to fluster him some). He’ll take your shoes off and massage your feet at the end of the day, dry your hair after you shower, bridal carry you to a warm bath if your muscles are sore... he wasn’t joking when he said you’d want for nothing if you gave him in the honor of accepting his affections. 
Bruno
Bruno becomes sweet enough to give you cavities. He actually really likes the thought of doting on you 24/7, but doesn’t want to come off as infantilizing, so this gives him the perfect excuse to really pull out all the stops. Anything work-related on your most difficult days he promises to see to himself so you can take it easy. He wakes up extra early each morning despite being worn out himself, cooking up your favorite foods and bringing you breakfast in bed. Should any carnal needs arise on your part he’s more than happy to sate them. The presence of blood is nothing to a mafioso, after all. He’ll never admit it, but there’s something nice and domestic about having you rely on him so heavily. If the two of you aren’t married yet, he’ll really feel like you’re husband and wife. You’re trusting him at your most vulnerable. It makes his heart soar just thinking about it. May or may not visit a jeweler while he’s out getting you some snacks to start eyeing different engagement rings... 
Fugo
Since you were both roomies for a while, he’s somewhat familiar with the affliction you endure when it’s that time of the month. Back then, he’d quietly do a few more chores, but never address it directly. Now that you’re in a romantic relationship, he tries to be more intentional. Fugo probably knows when you’re cycle is about to hit days in advance and asks if you have everything you need. While he normally enjoys engaging in dry banter with you, he tones it down so as not to accidentally upset you when you’re at your most emotionally sensitive. He’s at an absolute sputtering loss when you cry. He internally berates himself for not doing more, when in reality, you think he’s doing a great job of taking care of you. Your boyfriend sets unrealistically high expectations for himself in everything and settles for nothing less than perfection. Fugo gets disheartened when he considers another man may be treating you like a princess when being super affectionate is something he struggles with. Express some gratitude to him and he might actually get emotional. Now you’re crying, he’s crying (though he refuses to admit it), everyone’s crying...
Mista
Mista is chill about almost everything in life and that applies here. Absolutely the type to run to the store at 3am if you got hit with a random craving. He’s down for whatever would help you feel better, just tell him and he’s on it. Want to cuddle nonstop in your pajamas? His arms are already open and he’s telling you to come on over. Prefer having space? No problem, he’ll be in the next room over, ready to drop everything and amble over the second you ask. Even the Pistols, notorious for their snack-thieving ways, come together and form a pact until your period’s over. Then your snacks are fair game again. Normally, you both alternate choosing what movies/shows to watch. Mista releases this rule for now and will watch whatever you want without complaint. This is a privilege exclusive to you. 
Narancia
It’s actually you who is comforting him the first time you get your period while living together. You wake up to him acting like you’re a priest at a confessional booth, admitting to all the supposed wrongdoings he’s never told you about. He tells you he’s the one who ate you leftovers that one time, not Mista, and that dress you liked that mysteriously disappeared is because he got rid of it when people kept checking you out in public. Groggily, you have to calm him down and explain that you’re not dying despite all the blood. He almost passes out in shock when you tell him periods don’t go away until you’re like, 45 or something. Narancia was a few seconds shy of calling an ambulance. From that point on, he’s super sweet, asking if you need anything nonstop. Is even more grateful for your existence than usual after what he assumed to be a life-threatening scare. 
Abbacchio
Abbacchio tends not to take initiative, not for a lack of caring on his part, he just doesn’t want to overwhelm you. He figures if he wasn’t feeling well, the last thing he’d need was someone hovering over him nonstop. A lot more lowkey than the others. His love shines through in the small details — washing the sheets/blankets while you’re away so your bed is always clean and smelling nice, setting out painkillers for you every morning, offering to handle meal prep/cooking/cleanup. You both normally split chores, but he picks up your half without even needing to be asked. Abbacchio’s a big softie for you no matter what that prickly exterior portrays. He gets grumbly and flicks you on the forehead should you point this out to him, though he’s all bark and no bite. Calls you a “spoiled brat” then proceeds to tuck you into bed ten minutes later. The duality of a man. 
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The Mistake (pt 1)
A/N: If you have an idea for the mistake y/n made send me a message, still throwing around some ideas and can't make a decision.  
“Scott, this has to be the absolute worst idea you’ve ever had.” Stiles said, angrily. 
“At this point, it’s the only thing to do, so you can either deal with it or probably die.”
“Scott, listen, I know this is the last thing Stiles wants, I’ll switch with someone, I don’t want to make Stiles uncomfortable.”
“No, there is no more switching, no more debating. That’s final. Done.” 
Y/n knew that Stiles was pissed, and she didn’t blame him. She had really fucked up a year ago and since then, their relationship has been non-existent. They never communicated and only saw each other at pack meetings or in history class and he made sure to sit as far away from her as humanly possible. As much as she could take back what had happened between them, she had tried to explain herself a few times and he never gave her a chance. She couldn’t bring herself to try anymore after that. 
“I can’t believe I have to spend the whole weekend with her.” Stiles complained to Scott the next day. 
“I don’t want to hear it anymore. Y/n has tried to apologize so many times and you refuse to accept her apology. I get that she hurt you, but you have to get over yourself. This is the only way for us to be safe these next couple days. Do you want to die?!”
“Of course I don’t want to die. But we could have figured something else out, literally anything else.”
“I’m done arguing with you. You and y/n will go to your house tonight after school. Keep each other safe, that’s it. Period.” 
Y/n was no better, “Scott, come on, there’s nothing else we can figure out? I don’t want Stiles to be unhappy. He’s going to be so annoyed all weekend and he’s just going to hate me more after this ordeal.” 
“Y/n, if this wasn’t the only option I would change it, just for all the grief you two are giving me. Stiles will get over himself. He’s the one acting like a child.” 
“I know, but I already hurt him once. I don’t want to keep fucking up our non-exsistent realationship.”
“It’ll be fine. It’s two and a half days, I promise you’ll survive.” 
When y/n walked out of the school that afternoon, Stiles was leaning against the side of his jeep. He was clearly as unhappy as y/n was. 
“Listen, Stiles, I really tried to change Scotts’ mind about this. I know this is not ideal, I do not want to make you uncomfortable. I will stay to myself and not bother you, I promise.” 
“Let’s just get this weeked over with.” 
The ride was absolutely silent and uncomfortable, totally awkward. Stiles unlocked the door, when they got to his house. Stiles threw his bookbag by the door and made his way to the kitchen. Y/n placed her bookbag down gently and awkwardly waited a couple minutes before following Stiles. He was eating chips at the kitchen table.
“Help yourself I guess.” Stiles told her. 
Y/n grabbed a snack and decided to sit herself at the island so she didn’t have to awkwardly sit with Stiles when he clearly didn’t want to be around her. They sat in silence once again. The only sound was the ticking clock and the crunching of their snacks. Stiles finished, threw away his trash, and walked up the stairs to his room. Y/n was definitely not following him up there, so she kept her ass right where it was.
Stiles sat upstairs and tried to call Scott a couple times. He was clearly avoiding him because he didn’t want to hear his shit. So he called his dad. 
“Daddddddd. I don’t understand why y/n has to be here.”
“Stiles, you liked this girl like a year ago. I don’t get why you’re being so hostile towards her.” 
“Ugh, well I really liked her, like a lot, asked her out on a date and everything. She never showed up, never called, never texted, nothing. And then the next day I saw her out with some random guy. I haven’t really talked to her since.”
“So you never asked her what actually happened? Did she ever explain? Did you ever let her explain?”
“Well…I think she tried a couple times, but I refused to listen to her…”
“Give her a break, kid. Seriously. You guys are stuck together all weekend. Let it go before you give yourself an aneurysm.” 
Stiles hung up and truly started to think about what his dad had to say. He WAS going to end up pulling his hair out if this weekend continued this way. 
 Meanwhile, y/n had her history book out and started studying for a test on Monday. After almost 40 minutes, she literally couldn’t sit there for any longer. She started walking around downstairs looking at the stuff on the fridge and the pictures on the walls. 
“Are you being nosy?” Stiles asked from behind her, making her jump in the air.  
“Jesus Christ Stiles. Are you trying to fucking kill me?”
“No, that’s literally the opposite of why you’re here this weekend.” 
“Haha, very funny. I just got bored studying. It’s weird being here, okay? I literally don’t know what to do with myself, or where the fuck I can be.” 
“You can be anywhere. Mi casa es tu casa, at least for the weekend. I know you tried to keep this from happening, and I really appreciate that. I was being childish, what happened a year ago is old news. It is what it is, let’s just try not to die, okay?”
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about what happened before. I really fucked it all up.” 
“Come on, I have an air mattress for ya. Let’s go make it so you can sleep tonight.” 
Y/n followed Stiles up to his room to make her bed for the next couple nights. It was strange being in his room after a year of non-stop cold shoulder from him. Her eyes scanned his room. There were books and papers scattered everywhere and his laptop was sitting haphazardly on the corner of his desk. His bed was half made and there were a few shirts on the floor. 
“Wow, did you clean up just for me?” She asked him, with a silly glint in her eye. 
“Ha Ha, you’re just hilarious y/n.”
“I know, people tell me that a lot.” They both laughed at that and made the bed in a comfortable silence. 
Y/n was feeling a lot better about the situation, but she really wished she could take back what she did before. She had really liked Stiles and felt like a complete jerk. She didn’t want to bring it up again and ruin the new comradery. Stiles had put on the TV and they were both just sitting and watching it while scrolling through their phones. 
“Soooo pizza or chinese for dinner?” Stiles asked casually. 
“Ummmm, pizza. Extra cheese.”
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juneviews · 2 years
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I’m sad (tmi but I’m on my period and going through a break up) and I’m a little high (it’s legal here) so forgive my word vomit
We don’t talk enough about how Sean had nothing. He lost his father to violence and within that violence he lost his respect for his father and his idealized version of the man he looked up to. He lost all his friends due to judgment. He lost his mom not that much later. He was suicidal, alone, and his sadness turned into rage. Sure, Black gave Sean a vision and a purpose but it was kind of fucked and allowed him to stay stagnant in the past. Gumpa gave him a job and a place to stay but he was still stewing in his hatred and anger even when he wasn’t alone - but you can be around people and still be alone. And then came White (as Black). White was the first person who taught Sean another way, a better way. White gave Sean a future, a reason to live. White showed Sean that he mattered. White told Sean his life mattered (that may have been the first time anybody has ever said that or at least the first since Sean’s mom) and Sean couldn’t take it - he got shit faced admittedly after. White showed Sean kindness and love. White showed Sean a better, smarter way. I love Sean but that boy is dumb and has shit ideas. And once Sean finally felt love, he held to it (White) with all he had and was so quick to forgive every single time White kept Sean in the dark with the whole twin switch. Sean didn’t even care to have an explanation and just wanted White to stay with him because he loved White and he didn’t want to be alone anymore. White changed Sean almost instantly. Sean went from fury, darkness, and violence, to a smiling, loving, caring, happy person. A person who wanted to live, fought to live, not a person who didn’t care if he lived or died. SeanWhite are the very definition of “Home isn’t a place. It’s a person.”
My heart breaks for this man! Sean is by far my favorite character of all time. And SeanWhite is the best ship imo.
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I... literally cried reading this??? ;_; cause not only are you so right about everything & that's what I've been saying as well, but I truly consider sean the best character I've ever witnessed, like that boy is layered & complex like no other, and seeing his development??? yeah that was so cathartic. and reading your beautiful words also made me realize WHY I fucking love not me as much as I do, and it's because there aren't many shows that focus on healing?? like this show is actually more about mental health than anything, bc every character is broken in some way, yet the way they manage to start to heal, especially seanwhite... this is the kind of stories that touch me. imperfect & layered characters trying their fucking best to survive. bc that's what we all do, don't we? so thank you for the good cry & reinforcing that sean is my favorite and seanwhite are the best ship that have ever walked this earth, and good luck with your periods & break up!!! you'll be okay <3
xxx
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randomshyperson · 3 years
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Wanda Maximoff x Reader - I bet i love you
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Gif if not mine, but i swear she looks prettier every time i look at her.
Summary: Prompt based from @ecruzsalaz: The one where Wanda is popular, and Reader is a nerd. The popular kids do a bet that Reader will fall in love with Wanda. Everything will be reveal after their trip. 
Warnings: Light angst, kissing, teasing, underage drinking, lies, Vision being an idiot completely out of canon.
Words:  13.446 k /// Read on AO3
Notes: I don’t even know what happen here. I’m been busy and this took a lot of days to be done, but it’s finally here, hope @ecruzsalaz will be satisfied haha. Good reading everyone and apologies for any typo, it sucks to translate so many words. There are a few pop culture references, i wonder if anyone will catch those.
Marks (if i forgot your name tell me i’m lost):  @mionemymind @abimess
In your last year of high school, you just wish things would be peaceful.
The previous years hadn't exactly been ideal, since you were surrounded by assholes, but you are optimistic.
Your small, select group of friends, consisting of exactly two people, who you could swear were probably the only decent human beings left in West View High School, were currently the only reason you still wanted to go to high school.
Right now, for example, you were sitting in the outer cafeteria, a book of historical fiction to escape reality plus headphones with some old rock music that you weren't really listening to, since you were so focused on the story you were reading. And then someone pulled on your headphones, and you looked up ready to complain, but the mischievous smile of your best friend Bruce Banner was all you could find.
- I've been calling you for five minutes. - He said, sitting down on the stool in front of you. You smiled, apologizing, and put your cell phone on the table. - No problem, you always do that.
You laughed awkwardly, closing the book while Bruce put his backpack on the table.
- Where is Mon? I haven't seen her today. - You tell him, but Bruce shrugs. 
- Maybe her mother changed shifts again. - He comments, and you make a noise with your mouth of agreement. Whenever Maria, your friend Monica's mother, switched shifts at work, she would be late for first periods. It has been like this since primary school.
- You still haven't let me see your schedule. - You told Bruce with a slight frown, and he laughed, going through his pockets. Then he took out his cell phone, fiddled with the screen for a few seconds, and then handed it to you. You read the attached class schedule with a frown. - Bruce! You didn't sign up for half the classes you took last year?
He shrugged, running his hands through his hair.
- Yeah, I think I'll focus more on what I want for college. - He explained a little shyly. - I was getting too anxious about all that stuff. And honestly, you should have done the same.
You made a grumbling sound with your mouth, and started biting your thumbnail as you finished looking at the schedule. You would barely have any classes together. And then you handed the cell phone back to your friend.
- I would do it if I had any idea what I wanted to major in. - You tell him. - It's better to have several interests on the curriculum, so I'll have more course options.
- You can also develop burnot. - He remarked with mild irony, and you laughed, looking away.
The bell for the first class then rang, and the two of you exchanged a look before getting up. Bruce kissed you on the cheek before heading in the opposite direction, and you grumbled lightly as you picked up your book and walked to the chemistry labs.
In the hallway of the main building, a few meters before the entrance to the lab, someone bumped into you. It was one of the boys from the team, who was laughing at something his colleague said. Your notebooks fell to the floor, and the boy looked at you with contempt.
- Watch where you're going weirdo. - He warned and you rolled your eyes.
- You're the one who bumped into me, you brute. - You grumbled angrily. The boy just laughed and walked away.
After picking your books, you stood up. The athletes at your school were jerks, but you didn't blame only them for their arrogance. The rest of the school, including the faculty, treated them as gods, so they behaved as such.
Sighing with impatience, you entered the chemistry labs, wishing that the day wasn't long.
Darcy Lewis had been your chemistry partner for three years. You smiled as you greeted her and sat down next to her. You were not friends, but she was very kind and extremely intelligent. You really thought you were very lucky to have her as your partner, and then, as if the universe would like to laugh at you, Professor Nakia announced that she was switching partners.
The whole class let out a chorus of dissatisfaction, and one student asked aloud.
- Please, Professor Nakia, we have been working with the same people for three years. Why change now?
- Excellent question, Miss Quinn. - Nakia said, smiling. She was at her desk, finishing putting her materials on top. - Three years is more than enough time for you to create tricks to cheat on my exams. 
The room exchanged complicit and guilty looks, and the teacher kept a serious posture.
- The school board found evidence to indicate this. - She explains. - I was very disappointed to learn that there were students cheating on the evaluation method not only in this class, but in several others. You will notice that all teachers with fixed groups will rotate them from now on. This was a decision made by the principal.
You rolled your eyes, annoyed that you would lose your amazing partner and were running the chance of ending up with someone irresponsible or slacker, just because some kids were careless at cheating. The room let out a chorus of understanding, and everyone began to move around as the teacher indicated the new groups. You ended up sitting with a guy named Vision, who you didn't really know, but you knew was quite popular because he was class speaker, and head of the fencing club.
- Hello, dear. - He greeted you as he sat down, putting his coat on the chair. Vision dressed very well; he was part of the group your classmates called "preps”, even if he was usually hanging out with jocks.
You made a noise with your mouth in greeting, but he didn't seem to mind your lack of sociability. 
Fortunately, Vision was a decent chemistry partner. Although he was bossy, and had a habit of interrupting or explaining as if you were stupid, he was intelligent and knew how to do the experiments. You thought that was enough, since you would only have to put up with him in this class.
Feeling a glance at you, you raised your eyes from the notebook, and were slightly startled to notice Vision looking at you with amusement and curiosity, you frowned ready to ask what's wrong, but then he let out a dry laugh.
- I knew I knew you! - he declared. - You're the Presley freak!
Vision laughed lightly nostalgically, and you felt your face flush, turning your attention back to your notebook. He was talking about the Halloween party in freshman year, where you dressed up as Elvis Presley and the track team decided to nickname you "Presley Freak" for the next whole year. The teasing died down after a while, but Vision brought it back as if it were a good memory.
Fortunately he just shook his head with amusement, and didn't mention it again. When class was over, he didn't say goodbye on his way out, but you didn't care.
//-//
The story that all the teachers followed the new norm of switching partners was true. In History, you lost your partner Bucky Barnes to sit with Natasha Romanoff, equally quiet and intelligent. For the most part, you are satisfied with the partners you got. 
But then in fourth period, biology class, you ended up partnering with someone you never imagined.
Wanda Maximoff was one of the most popular girls in school. You didn't really know her. You were classmates during elementary school, and you even became friends with her twin brother in elementary school, Pietro Maximoff, before he became a complete idiot. But other than that, you didn't know much about her. Although you had a strange sympathy for the girl. Unlike the group of girls she hung out with, Wanda never tormented you at school. Or your friends. She was probably fake and sneaky like the others, but she left you alone, so you had nothing against her.
You were pulling your biology book out of your backpack as the teacher announced the new pairs, and you stopped in mid-motion when she said Maximoff and your name.
Wanda sat down beside you the next moment, smiling politely. You shook your head slightly, dropping your backpack on the floor.
Wanda was surprisingly nice. You didn't talk about anything unrelated to the subject, but she was quick enough to catch your ironic glances when Professor Darkholme made an inappropriate comment or a funny remark, and match it with a smile or a look. 
As the class came to an end, Wanda nodded slightly at you, and you smiled back before gathering your materials.
It had been four months since classes had started, and you were already used to your new partners in class. 
Vision was inconvenient in many comments, as if he took pleasure in recalling your most embarrassing moments in high school, but you learned to change the subject quickly whenever this happened. All you had to do was pretend you didn't know about some subject he mastered, only to hear him explain it to you in the most arrogant manner possible for the next few minutes, effectively distracting him.
Natasha Romanoff was exceptionally sarcastic and ironic, and you sometimes you felt that she was a more aggressive female version of your former partner Bucky Barnes. She was quite individualistic, and you had to make an effort not to get left behind, or you had to constantly remind her that you were a duo, but otherwise she was a good partner, and you were happy to invite her to lunch with you, which eventually became a habit after a week.
And then you had Wanda Maximoff. You weren't friends, but you had a strange kind of complicity as biology partners. You never would have guessed that Wanda would have a sense of humor so similar to yours. Two classes in a row, and you already had inside jokes about the way Ms. Darkholme caught the attention of her students. Two weeks in, and you two knew how to cheat your way through assignments. You didn't know how to make friends, and judging by the history of who Wanda was hanging out with, you had the impression that she wouldn't want to develop any kind of relationship with you. And honestly, this was your last year, you wouldn't see these people again, so you were more than satisfied to have just one good lab partner.
With the mid-winter vacations approaching, you were looking forward to getting some rest.
Non-Reader Pov
- God, Wanda, why are you talking about that weirdo again? - interrupted Vision impatiently. His girlfriend blinked in confusion, looking away awkwardly.
- I'm just commenting on a joke we…
- Really, Wanda? - He interrupted again with an accusing look. - It seems like all you do lately is "comment" on your little jokes in class. - He sneers as he settles down on the sofa. The two of them stand together outside the school, their group of friends watching the discussion with amusement. - I don't know why you talk to her at all. She is so silent and awkward with me in chemistry class.
Wanda bites the inside of her cheek, looking forward. 
- I think your girlfriend has a girl crush. - Tony Stark sneered next, making everyone laugh. Wanda frowned, feeling her heart race.
- You are an idiot. - She grumbled impatiently, crossing her arms. Vision looked at her curiously.
- Honey, don't tell me that you actually appreciate that girl? - he asks ironically, and Wanda rolls her eyes without looking at him. Vision laughs. 
And then Tony is holding out a craft-paper covered bottle to Vision, and he takes a sip, coughing slightly afterwards. Wanda frowns at the scene, but none of her friends seem concerned that they are drinking during school hours, as the bottle continues to pass in everyone's hand.
- You know, I think it's sweet that you have sympathy for that freak. - Tony comments a moment later and Wanda tells him to fuck off, making him laugh. 
- I think we are witnessing a beautiful love story. - Mocks Pepper, Tony's girlfriend, approaching the three of them as she sits on Stark's lap. Wanda rolls her eyes, as the group laughs. And then Vision has a thoughtful expression.
- I have an idea. - He says slightly drunk, as he throws his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders. - Let's make a bet.
Tony and Pepper let out excited exclamations, while Wanda frowns.
- What kind of bet?
- Well, you guys remember when the weirdo dressed up as Presley for Halloween, right? - he asked, and Tony and Pepper laughed, agreeing. - And then Pietro saw her kissing that girl who hang with the bikers, Jones something.
- Jessica. - Pepper clarified before taking another sip of her drink. 
- Then we know she's a dyke. - Vision says, but Tony frowns.
- Wasn't she dating that guy with the long hair and the angry face? 
- Barnes? - Vision asked and Tony nodded. - I don't think so. Anyway, she is into girls. - he said and the group nodded in agreement. - I mean the bet is this: I can prove that she is just like everyone else in this school. Give her a bit of our attention, and she will be completely obsessed.
- Vis, what are you talking about? - Wanda asked, and Vision laughed ironically.
- It's very simple, love. - He says. - You are hot. Everyone knows that, and even someone like her, who pretends not to be part of the social circles of this school, can see that. - He clarifies, and the group looks at him intently. Wanda doesn't say that she doesn't like being objectified, swallowing the bitter feeling in her stomach. - So my bet is that you win her over. It should take what, one or two dates for her to be completely in love with you.
The friends laugh in irony and Wanda thinks she should follow, but only a forced laugh escapes. Because of the alcohol, no one notices.
- This is ridiculous. - Wanda comments and then Vision looks at her with irony.
- Unless you're getting attached to the girl, dear. - He sneers, and the group laughs. Wanda swallows dryly, shaking her head in denial. - So, what's the problem? You'll just prove me right. And you will realize that there is nothing special about her. 
- I think we can make this even more fun. - says Tony with a wicked smile. - I bet you a hundred bucks that Wanda will fall in love too.
Tony sneers and the group laughs with irony.
- As if anyone would even like that girl. - Vision declares, accepting another drink. 
- How do we make sure it's working? - Tony asks and Vision bites his lip thoughtfully. Then he lets out an exclamation.
- Our trip! - he says, and then turns to Wanda. - Love, invite the weirdo to the cabin! We can watch you work.
Wanda frowns, but then the group is suggesting ideas of conquest, and laughing, and debauchery, and she hates it. But she smiles, and nods in agreement, accepting the liquor as the bottle comes into her hand.
Reader Pov
You intended to study during the winter vacations. And maybe get out of the room a little if Bruce or Monica visited. Your surprise was genuine when in your last biology term, Wanda Maximoff started talking to you about something other than the subject.
- Hey, are you doing anything this holiday? - she comments amiably. You didn't notice the looks Tony Stark was giving you two from the front seat. 
- Huh... No?
- Are you asking me? - She replies with a smile. You blush, looking away at your notebook. Wanda bites her cheek, and it takes a moment for her to speak again. - I wanted to invite you to something.
You blink in surprise, looking at Wanda. She looks away from the board for a moment, as she wiggles her fingers against her own thigh.
- My friends and I are spending the holiday in a cabin. - She clarifies. - There's all this winter activities, you know. Skiing and stuff like that. I'd like you to come.
- Why? - The question slips out a little harshly, but you can't help it. Wanda looks away, and you almost apologize. But then Wanda smiles, shrugging.
- I'd like to get to know you better, I guess. - She says. - I think it would be fun if we could be friends outside of class.
You look at her suspiciously for a few seconds. But then you sigh, looking down at the notebooks.
- Alright, Wanda. - you say after a moment, ignoring the growing anxiety in your stomach. - Is it okay if I bring a friend?
- Of course! - She confirms excitedly. - You can take whoever you want, it's a big place. 
The teacher gives a warning for side conversations next, and you shut up. You blush when Wanda approaches you to write down her phone number in her notebook. You are distracted enough not to notice her blushing slightly when Tony Stark gives her a mischievous look. 
//-//
- So you actually said yes? - Bruce asked with surprise when you told him about the biology class, while you were having lunch together in the cafeteria. Monica had the same expression.
- Yes, and I would love it if you would go with me, because I think I am close to completely freak out. - You ask with mild desperation and your friends laugh. And then Monica is looking behind you.
- Look, I would be too. They are so... - She starts and you turn around, looking at the group of Wanda's friends a few meters away. The kids are sitting at the table, making noise with their loud laughter. One of them was throwing a football up in the air. A short boy walked past them and was pushed slightly. - I can't even define them.
You let out a grumble, laying your head on your arms on the table.
- This was a bad idea, wasn't it, guys? - you ask. - They're going to eat me alive.
- Why the long faces, nerds? - Natasha asked as she came over to the table, placing the tray of food next to Monica, staring at you. 
And then your friends explained it to her, and you groaned in dissatisfaction when she started laughing.
- You've lost your mind, haven't you? - she asked wryly. - It's a trap, I'm sure.
- There's no reason for it. - You retorted, trying to eat a little. - Besides, it was Wanda who invited me. She said she'd like us to be friends.
- Look, I know that Maximoff is the least worst of the bunch. - Nat began as she opened her soda. - But she still hangs around with those idiots. 
- Yeah, I know. - You agree with a sigh. And then you remember your classes. - I just... She has been surprisingly nice, you know? I think she was being sincere. It's just a trip, it's not the end of the world.
- Good to know you think that. - said Bruce. - Because I won't be able to go.
- What? - You then exclaim.
- I applied for an internship at S.H.I.E.L.D. Labs. - He remarks and you let out a grumble, remembering.
- Shit, it's true. - You say. - I completely forgot about it.
- Girl, I can't go either. - Informs Monica with a guilty expression, and you let out an exclamation. - I'm going to spend the holiday with my father.
You bury your face in your hands. And then you risk a glance at Natasha, and she laughs wryly.
- Don't even try. - She says. - Even if you paid me I wouldn't travel with Tony Stark.
- I'll pay you.
Nat laughs at your desperation, and stops eating, looking at you with surprising kindness.
- You, girl, are adorable and kind. A nerdy cute dork, and I'm sure that if that's not enough for those idiots, they're the problem, not you. - She assures you, and you smile wryly. - Don't worry about pleasing any of them, you're going to become friends with Wanda, aren't you? Try to enjoy the trip, and if anything happens, call me and I'll finish them all off.
You laugh, nodding slightly. You don't want to think so much about this trip, but you know it's going to be the only thing on your mind for the next few days.
The week ended quickly. And you were very anxious when the weekend arrived, and you received a text message from Wanda saying that she would pick you up at home on Saturday morning. You would spend the holiday at the Stark family's winter cottage, a property big enough to fit the whole group. Wanda said it was somewhere with mountains, near a lake, and you bit your lip, wondering if you should bring a bathing suit. Since it was snowing, you figured you wouldn't try to swim anywhere.
On Saturday you were up bright and early, your bags packed. You kissed your parents and your younger brother on the cheek before you left, finding a pickup truck parked in front of your house.
Wanda hugged you when you said good morning to her, and to the boys. Vision and Pietro were in this car, and she said that Tony was in the second car, and had gone for gas.
Vision drove towards the cabin next, and he tried a little small talk before shutting up. Wanda was in the passenger seat, and Vision let his hand rest on her thigh, and you didn't understand the bitter feeling in your stomach.
- God, put on some decent music! - asked Pietro, scrambling up on the seat beside you to reach for the radio.
- Leave it, Pietro! - complained Vision pushing the boy backwards. - You only want to play that emo shit!
Pietro laughed, not insisting. And Vision looked at you through the rearview mirror.
- Let's let our guest choose the music. - he said with a smile. You cleared your throat. 
- Okay. - You agreed, pulling your cell phone out of your pocket. You turned on Spotify next, and when Vision asked if it would be any longer, you bit the inside of your cheek. And then you put on some pop rock.
Nobody said anything, and you thought that somehow you had just passed some kind of test. But then your set list started, and when the classic rock song from the 50's started playing, Vision burst out laughing.
- They don't call you Presley Freak for nothing. - He scoffs, switching to the radio next. 
- I like it. - Wanda comments surprising you, but neither Vision nor her brother change their debauched posture.
- Yes, yes, your taste is terrible too. - He replies with irony. You bite your lips as you watch Wanda roll her eyes and look away to the window. Vision lets Pietro choose the music next.
The cabin was really very big. 
You guys met Tony's car on the way, but he didn't stop. It didn't take long for you to arrive. You smiled in appreciation at Pietro when he carried your bags inside.
You looked at the structure impressed. Tony Stark really was very rich. Hugging your arms lightly after feeling the cool breeze, you smiled politely at Wanda's other friends as they greeted you.
- I am Pepper Potts, and this is Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson. - says the blonde girl cheerfully, as she waves to the other boys. - You must have met Tony by now.
- I think I've seen all of you at school. - You say feeling out of place, but they smile as they walk into the cabin. Tony hands the bags to the other boys, and then is throwing an arm around your shoulders, and you want to push him away for the inappropriate contact.
- It's a pleasure to meet you, sweetie. - He says, and you blink when you feel the alcohol. - Who knew that nerds hid pretty girls with them?
The joke makes the group laugh, and you look around uncomfortably. Tony then releases you as you enter. 
Pepper is the one who shares the rooms, and you are happy to know that you won't be sharing with anyone. 
While you are unpacking upstairs on your bed, Wanda joins you.
- Hey. - She greets me as she enters and closes the door. You're folding your clothes.
- Hi, Wanda.
- Is everything okay? - she asks and you nod in agreement. - They can be a bit much sometimes, and I don't want you to get uncomfortable and... Do you like "Bewitched"?
The sudden question startles you and you blink in confusion. Wanda nods at the item in your hands. The T-shirt you are folding has the logo of the old sitcom you used to watch with your parents.
- Oh yes. - You sigh in agreement. - It is one of my favorite shows actually.
Wanda laughs in surprise, crossing her arms.
- Wow, I didn't know that. - She says. - I love this stuff. Vision thinks the jokes are stupid, so don't tell him I'm talking about it.
She jokes and you let out a wry exclamation.
- Why would I tell Vision anything? - You ask and Wanda hesitates slightly, but then smiles.
- No, it was just a figure of speech. - She clarifies as you fold your shirt.
- Right. - You say, not really understanding this conversation. - If you want, we can watch it together anytime. I think we'll have time to do it here.
Wanda looks at you with surprise and excitement.
- Really? I'd love to. - She confirms, and you smile as you finish packing. 
The redhead clears her throat afterwards.
- I just wanted to check on you anyway. - she says. - I think Steve is cooking dinner tonight, so join us when you' re ready.
- Okay, Wanda. - You say. - Thanks.
She smiles before leaving. You stare at the Bewitched's T-shirt on your bed for a few moments before you leave.
Steve tries to cook some chicken breast. And he almost burns the kitchen down. So you are on your feet, investigating the cupboards, and although cooking is not your favorite activity, you don't mind making some chili for everyone. 
- I love Mexican food. - Wanda comments excitedly as she stands next to you and watches you cook. The rest of the group is in the living room, the boys being very noisy as they throw a soccer ball around the room. You smile at the redhead next to you. 
- God, did you see the picture that Tabitha Smith posted on instagram? - Pepper asked aloud, staring at her cell phone. She was sitting on the kitchen counter, a look of disgust on her face. Wanda approached her and quickly looked at the screen. - She put on silicone, I'm sure of it. 
Wanda made a noise of agreement, exchanging a quick glance with you, clearly not caring one bit about the topic, and you smiled, turning your attention back to the pot. Pepper didn't notice and continued making comments about her classmates' social media posts.
- It's ready. - You announce. Your breath catches in your throat as Wanda puts her hand on your waist, leaning behind your back to taste the food. She lets out a satisfied groan, and you feel her cheeks flush.
But then she walks away next, and you struggle to disguise yourself as the boys are joining you, announcing that they are starving. 
- Wow, this is delicious. - said Pepper as soon as you sat down at the table and started to eat. The group agreed, and you blushed with embarrassment. Soon they started talking among themselves, and you tried to keep up as best you could, but the topics weren't really of interest to you.
When you got back to the room, Tony proposed that you all play a game, and then he went through the storage room and came back carrying monopoly.
At first you thought it would be innocent fun, then there were drinks and gambling. 
- It's a four! - shouted Tony excitedly. - That's my property, Wilson! 
Sam let out a grumble of dissatisfaction as he moved his figure around the board. Tony laughed mischievously.
- So, how do you want me to pay the rent?  - Sam asked and Tony made a thoughtful face. 
- With a question. - Tony announces maliciously. - Among the people in this room, tell me who would you have sex with?
Sam laughs in surprise, as the group gives a chorus of excitement. You swallow dryly, uncomfortable with the direction of the questions. So far, the questions and challenges had been innocent and slightly awkward, but after a few beers, the group was clearly getting more excited in other respects.
- Careful with your answer, friend. - Vision warned, putting his arm possessively around Wanda's shoulders. You looked away to the board.
- That might be shocking for a straight guy, Vis. - Sam remarked with mild debauchery. - But not all of us are looking at the girls.
The group laughs in surprise, and Vision rolls his eyes. 
- I would do Steve Rogers for sure. - Sam declares the next moment, and the group lets out a celebratory chorus. Steve laughs too, slightly surprised. Sam just smiles playfully, shrugging his shoulders. Then Steve steps forward, amusing himself by pretending to kiss him, and the group laughs. You smile awkwardly, not really understanding what everyone thinks is funny.
The game continues, and you are doing very well. You laugh when Pepper has to tell you all about the worst sexual experience she has ever had, but you are slightly uncomfortable when Steve has to demonstrate on a pillow his first time. A few rounds later, you grumble in dissatisfaction when you take a five and end up in jail.
- Whoa, that's has a punishment. - Tony announces when he sees your move. You look at him, and he looks excited. - Finally, Presley, your moment has come.
- Tony. - Wanda scolds him for his nickname, but Tony doesn't listen.
- Let me think about it. - He continues with a thoughtful expression, and then a mischievous gleam takes over his gaze. - Have you ever heard that shy girls are the biggest freaks in the room? 
You swallow dryly, feeling your face heat up as the group lets out a laugh. 
- I will not...
- Don't even start. - Tony interrupts your denial with a smile. - Don't spoil the fun. I'll give you a simple challenge.
You bite the inside of your cheek, frowning as you fight the urge to get up.
- Your sentence of freedom will be to give a hickey to the person who gets a six on the dice. - He declares, and the group lets out a chorus of excitement.
And then everyone is rushing to throw the dice and you cross your arms, feeling your face hot.
- If more than one person gets six, you'll give them both a hickey and win immunity for a round! - Tony laughs as he makes up the rules.
Pepper is the first to play, and lets out a despondent sigh when she draws two.  And then Steve plays next, and complains when the die lands on four. Sam and Tony don't get six either. You hold your breath when Wanda rolls, and feel your heart race when the die stops.
- This should be interesting. - Vision comments with mild irony and mischief as he takes his arm off Wanda's shoulders, picking up the die stopped at six. Tony laughs and you can't keep your eyes on the redhead.
Vision gets a four. And then Pietro gets a six, and you grumble.
- I can't believe you're going to get both of the Maximoffs! - Wilson comments with amusement and you swallow dryly, shifting uncomfortably in your seat.
- Finally some action. - Pietro jokes as he approaches. He kneels in front of you, and you take a deep breath. - Come on, Y/N, it's just a silly challenge.
He tries to reassure you with a smile, and you try to ignore the staring eyes on the two of you. You think the boys are laughing as you bring your face closer to Pietro's outstretched neck, and land your lips on his skin. He smells like aftershave lotion, but it's just embarrassing to be so close. Pietro lets out a breathless chuckle as you begin to suck on his skin, and he clenches the support of the couch.
You stop quickly, and he pulls away. The red skin glows on his neck. He flashes you the seductive smile, and you look away, listening to the group celebrating. 
- Next, please! - Tony says clearly intoxicated. You feel your racing heart echoing in your ears. Wanda gets up from the couch, and unlike her brother, she completely short-circuits your brain when she sits on your lap. You think someone whistled.
- Wanda, what are you doing? - You mumble clumsily, and she just smiles as she puts her hands on your shoulders.
- Don't you like this position? - she asks and you swallow dryly.
- Come on, girls! - Tony tells you between laughs. Someone knocks over the vodka bottle on the floor, making a mess. You think the group is barely paying attention to you, fighting among themselves to save the rest of the board and Tony's expensive rug, but you're not really taking in anything other than the girl on your lap.
You move forward, sinking your face into her neck and inhaling Wanda's scent. When you let out your breath, she trembles and squeezes your shoulder lightly, making you swallow dryly.
You let your lips kiss her skin, watching Wanda's chest rise and fall, indicating her unregulated breathing. And then you lick her skin, and she chokes. When you suck on her skin, she bites her lips hard, stopping herself from moaning.  And then you let go.
Ignoring the urge to kiss the red dot again, you throw your back against the armchair, moving away. Wanda lets out a breath, and before you can say anything, Tony is complaining that the game is over because the board has been ruined, and she rushes off your lap. 
Your face is very hot when Sam makes a snide remark to you, and then you are all saying goodnight. You don't have the courage to look at Wanda when you go up to your room.
//-//
The next day you go skiing. 
You absolutely suck at it, but so does everybody else, so nobody really cares. 
You don't want to think so much about Wanda's hands on your waist when she teaches you how to do it.
You also don't want to be so annoyed when Vision insists on getting a kiss from her while you are walking back to the cabin.
During the afternoon, you are distracted by a video game with Pietro, extremely surprised that he has invited you to do something. After dinner you go back to your room to read a little, and are astonished when Wanda appears at your door a few minutes after you have gone upstairs.
- How about we watch a sitcom together? - She invites you in, and you shrug as you smile, making space for her to enter your room. She giggles when she notices the open book on your bed. - Of course you brought a book.
You laugh awkwardly as you close the door. Wanda throws herself on your bed, opening the laptop she has brought with her. You take the book out and place it closed on the dresser, before joining her, trying to keep a respectable distance.
She ends up putting on Bewitched, and you are distracted enough by the program.
- Wow, that's kind of wrong. - You comment between giggles. And Wanda laughs lightly, turning the program's attention to you.
- What?
- The joke. - You clarify. - The way they imply that it's okay for boys to behave like that.
- Yeah, I know. - She agrees, turning her attention back to the screen. - But we're still laughing.
- Yeah. - You agree, laughing. - I guess it's okay as long as we don't find it funny in real life.
Wanda makes a noise of agreement with her mouth and then you are silent again. 
Two episodes later, Wanda suggests that you eat something. Then you go downstairs to the kitchen, and find the room empty. 
- Pietro had called the boys to play soccer. - She says. - And I think Pepper and Tony are in their room.
You nod in understanding, following her around the kitchen. Wanda starts preparing a snack for you two.
- What is it? - You ask as you observe her choice of ingredients. She smiles mischievously.
- My masterpiece. - She says. - Just trust me, you'll like it.
You laugh, nodding. When she warms the bread rolls, and starts to pour oregano on top you let out an exclamation.
- Wanda, are you sure you know what you're doing? 
She laughs, shaking her head slightly.
- Trust me on this. - She asks with a smile, starting to cut tomatoes. You cross your arms, not believing that you are actually going to eat that.
And then the sandwich is ready, and Wanda assumes a cheerful posture. She puts the bread on a plate and turns to you, leaving the object on the counter beside you.
You take a piece while she takes another, and together you taste the sandwich while Wanda looks at you expectantly.
It's surprisingly good, and you blink in amazement when you feel the taste, looking away from her to the food.
- Wow, that's good. - You comment before taking another bite. Wanda smiles.
- Really? I'm glad you like it. Vision doesn't like it very much, he says it tastes strange.
You grumble lightly, continuing to eat. Wanda pours you two some soda. You are silent for a moment and when she leaves the phone on the countertop to wash the dishes, your gaze runs quickly across the screen as you reach for your glass.
- Hey, are you into poetry? - you ask as you look at the open Instagram post.
Wanda smiles, nodding.
- That's cool, I think we follow the same page. - You comment quickly pointing to her unlocked cell phone. Wanda looks surprised.
When she finishes washing the dishes, she asks to borrow your cell phone. You spend the next thirty minutes laughing and joking as you compare your Instagram feeds and follower list. You don't want to overthink on how many common interests you have with Wanda.
//-//
On the penultimate day you want to build a snowman.
There is a Hockey game on TV, and everyone seems excited to watch. So you just walk out of the cabin while Tony hands out snacks and drinks to everyone.
You are just finishing assembling the body when you hear footsteps.
- You are very antisocial. - Wanda jokes as she approaches, hands in her pockets. You don't want to think about how adorable she looks.
- Yeah, I know. - You comment with your attention on the snowman. - It's not your friends' fault, by the way, I'm just not a big sports fan.
- All right, I don't see what's so funny about it either. - She says as she stops beside you. - Can I help you with him?
- Let me see your hands. - You ask, and she looks at you in confusion, taking her hands out of her pockets. You deny it. - No gloves, no playing. I don't want you to get hypothermia.
She laughs lightly, putting her hands back in her pockets. You turn your attention back to the snowman.
- We can go for a walk. - You suggest after a moment. - Since we're not going to watch the game.
Wanda smiles, looking away to the cabin.
- Okay.
You finish your snowman in silence. It's decent you think.
- I used to do it all the time. - You tell her as you stand up, putting your hands in your pockets. Wanda looks at you curiously. - But then I grew up and my parents thought it was a kid thing.
- Yeah, I know how that is. - She agrees as you stare at the snowman. - One birthday is all it takes for the treatment to change completely.
You nod in agreement, and then you look at her, signaling for you to go the other way.
You walk side by side in the opposite direction of the cabin.
After spending the whole way talking about the most random subjects, you end up at a small pier, at the edge of the lake that covers the entire back stretch of the cabin. You and Wanda sit side by side on the wood cross-legged.
- We should have brought something hot to drink. - You comment with a smile, hugging your arms for a moment. Wanda nods.
- So, are you enjoying the trip? - Wanda asks and you look away, smiling at the lake.
- I suppose so.
- You suppose? - She replies with amusement, making you laugh.
You clear your throat before speaking again.
- I enjoyed the time I spent with you. - You confess, looking forward. Wanda wiggles her fingers nervously, looking away from you to face the lake as well. - Don't get me wrong, Wanda. Your friends are... nice I guess. But they're not the reason I'm here.
You look at Wanda, and she nods frantically. Your heart is racing, but playing games isn't exactly your thing. You want to know what's going on.
- And you? - you ask, studying her face. - Did you enjoy the time I was here?
- Yes. - Wanda confesses breathlessly, her face flushing slightly. 
Swallowing hard, you look away to the lake again. And then you slowly move your hand against the wood, reaching for Wanda's hand next. You give it enough time for her to move away, or to strike you, and she does neither. Feeling your heart soar, you intertwine your hands, holding back a sigh at how good it feels even when wearing gloves.
Several minutes later, you let out an excited exclamation when you hear a noise in the nearby forest. Turning your head, you confirm your suspicions. A small white fox is looking at you curiously. 
You help Wanda to get up quietly and slowly so as not to startle the animal.
- Hey. - You say softly to the animal, walking towards it. The fox looks at you wide-eyed, but your posture doesn't frighten him. You smile when he lets you pet him.
- He is so cute. - Wanda comments softly, kneeling down beside you. The fox lies down on the grass as the redhead strokes his head.
He tires of the attention quickly however, and the next moment he gives you a look before running back into the forest. You and Wanda laugh lightly as you two stand up.
You walk back to the cabin in silence, a tension in the air that makes your stomach turn. You don't hold hands, but you walk very close together. 
When you are almost to the cabin area, you stand in front of Wanda, pushing her by the waist against a tree. You both sigh breathlessly, but you lose the courage. It's not right, not yet. Resting your forehead on hers, resisting the urge to kiss her, you close your eyes.
- Leave him. - You say and Wanda squeezes her hands in your arms.
Wanda lets out a sigh, closing her eyes like you did, and your faces come closer together.
- I won't share you, Wanda. - You whisper against her lips. - Either you're with me, or you're not.
Resisting the urge to close the distance, you sigh and turn away. Wanda's pupils are dilated as she looks at you. You lock your jaw, putting your hands in your pockets. And then you turn around, and disguise it nicely when Pepper comes out of the cabin, asking where you were, and you just smile and say you went for a walk.
//-//
Vision and Wanda argue on the last day at the cabin. 
You frown as your awakened by the volume of the argument. But you decide not to pry, and when Pepper signals for you to join her on her morning walk, you agree.
- You know, you are surprisingly nice. - She comments as you two take a break for some water.
- Thanks, I guess. - You mumble, and she laughs.
- What I mean is that nerds are usually know-it-all types and not at all sociable. - She explains. - You're quiet, but you're fun.
- Who says I'm not a know-it-all. - You retort with amusement, and Pepper laughs as you walk back.
- I'm just saying that it turned out to be nice to invite you over despite everything.
- Despite everything what?
Pepper laughs awkwardly, shaking her head.
- The differences between our groups I say. - She quickly clarifies. You don't perceive the lie. - Maybe there is a chance for us to remain friends after here.
- Why wouldn't we? - you ask confused. Pepper seems to be talking as if it is impossible for you to continue talking to each other after the trip is over, and you don't understand why.
Pepper blinks in embarrassment, and then pats your arm, hurrying her steps.
- It's nothing, I'm just overthinking it. - she says. - I'm sure it will all work out.
You don't ask any more questions because she's walking too fast, and exercise isn't really your thing. You're struggling to keep up.
//-//
After your walk with Pepper, you agreed to let Steve teach you how to play a bit of hockey. And then you all had lunch together, and Wanda avoided all your attempts to start a conversation with her. You figured she was upset with her boyfriend, so you didn't press her.
Later in the afternoon, after you played snowball wars with everyone, and perhaps laughed more than appropriate when Wanda kept hitting Vision in the face, Steve made a fire in the backyard area and everyone gathered around.
- Let's tell some horror stories, please? - Pietro asked as he sat down, and Tony slapped him on the head, laughing. 
- You are such a baby. - he sneered, holding out a bottle of whiskey to Steve. You rolled your eyes, impatient with Stark's annoying mania for proving his maturity.
Then he began to share sex stories, and the group seemed happy to join in. The bottle swirled around, and you let it pass you by without taking a sip. It stopped at Wanda, and she drank much more than anyone else.
- And you, Y/N, don't you have any sinful stories to share with the group? - teased Tony ironically, and you rolled your eyes.
- I prefer to be silent.
Tony laughed at her hostility.
- Now all that's left is for you to say you're a virgin! - he sneered, causing the group to laugh. You exchanged a quick glance with Wanda, who didn't even seem to be listening, the whiskey bottle still in her hands.
- I'm not, but if I were that wouldn't be your business - You retort impatiently. Tony whistles impressed.
- Tell us how it was! - he asks excitedly. - I bet it was Jessica Jones who fucked the weirdo!
You stand up abruptly as the group laughs.
- You're drunk, and you're talking shit. - you say angrily. - But if you ever annoy me again, I will punch you right in the face!
Tony seems slightly impressed by your attitude, but he is clearly drunk so he shrugs his shoulders. You then leave, returning to your room.
Non-Reader Povs
- What is your problem? - Pietro complained as soon as Y/N entered the cabin. Tony blinked surprised and alcoholic.
- It was just a joke, it's not my fault she's weird. - He retorted with a wry laugh.
Pietro let out an irritated exclamation.
- You know what? - He spoke angrily, looking at everyone. - What we're doing is wrong.
- What was that? - Vision sneered, but Pietro looked at him seriously.
- You heard me. - he said, getting up. - She's a nice girl and she's been fun to be with. That bet was stupid.
The teens exchange guilty glances, but then Tony and Vision are laughing.
- One hickey and you're in love, Maximoff? - Vision sneered and stood up, as Pietro clenched his jaw. 
- You're an asshole. 
- Oh, I'm an asshole? - Vision retorted ironically. - This little scene of yours is absurd, treating your friends as if we were the villains of the story. - he says laughing. - The girl is a weirdo who must be absolutely fascinated that people like us even talk to her!
Pietro looks at him impatiently, but Vision does not lose his debauched posture.
- Shut up. - Wanda's drunken speech startles the group. Vision turns to her in surprise, but then he laughs.
- That's excellent. - He says. - Both Maximoffs teaming up against the group.
- You're full of shit. - Wanda exclaimed angrily, getting up, and Vision shook her head. - She's not...
- She's not what dear? - He interrupted. - You know I'm right. In fact, I bet if you go up to her room right now, you won't even need to ask twice and she'll fuck you.
- Vision! - Pietro exclaims angrily, but he stares only at the redhead, who has her jaw clenched.
- Everyone just wants to fuck you, Wandy. - He says. - There's nothing worthwhile beyond that.
Wanda holds back the tears in her eyes, bumping into Vision as she leaves, and the boy laughs, shouting between giggles that he was only joking, but the redhead doesn't turn around. 
- That was cruel. - Potts then said, and Vision let out a wry laugh.
- It was just a joke. - He says and sits back down. - You girls are so sentimental. 
Pietro then leaves, and Vision rolls his eyes. Steve and Sam exchange a look with Pepper.
- You can't really think it's okay to say something like that to your girlfriend. - Steve said annoyed. Vision laughs, incredulous at Steve's insinuation. - What is it, people? - he replies. - I just said she's hot, how is that a bad thing?
- You know, Pietro is right. - Steve said as he got up. - This whole story is absurd. - Steve, come on. - No, he is right. - Sam then agreed. And then Pepper stood up, exchanging a look with Tony. - Good, then. - Vision exclaims angrily. - Be my guests! I suppose you'll start hanging out with the school's weirdos on Monday then. You guys are a joke. Hypocrites. Vision grumbles before exiting angrily, walking towards the trail. The group exchanged a guilty look.
Reader Pov
You had just finished showering and putting on your pajamas when Wanda came into your room. You frowned in surprise, and let out an exclamation when she pushed you onto the bed and sat you on your lap.
- What are you doing? - you asked, and Wanda just grumbled, trying to unbutton your pajamas, but clearly too drunk to do so. - Wanda, stop. Wanda!
- That's what you want, isn't it? - She retorts with irritation, but her eyes are filled with tears. - Everyone wants to fuck the hot girl.
- Wanda, what are you talking about?
But then she's crying, falling against you. You let your arms go around her, trying to calm her down. She only stops crying when she falls asleep.
You don't know what has happened, but you feel your heart clench. Moving to the bed, you lay Wanda down on the mattress, then cover her with the blanket. 
When you consider going to sleep in the living room, she takes your hand and whispers "stay," and you obey her.
//-//
You wake up with Wanda entwined with you. It is warm and comforting, and you smile shyly at the sensation. 
The redhead starts to wake up next, grumbling as she buries her face in your neck, making you smile.
- We have to get up. - You whisper to her. - We're leaving.
- In a minute.
She says and it really only takes a moment for her to open her eyes, and be startled by the position. She awkwardly pulls away from your embrace, but still lies there. You turn on the bed to look at her, resting your face on your hand.
- I'm sorry about last night. - She says embarrassed, looking down.
- No problem. - You say. - But what was that about anyway?
Wanda sighs, running her hands through her hair as she stares at the ceiling, her back on the mattress.
- Vision told me some stupid things, and well, I believed him. - She says and you look at her curiously. With your silence, she clarifies. - It was just some comments he used to make about my body, okay? Things like, people are only interested in me because I'm hot.
You frown, surprised and annoyed. 
- That's bullshit.
Wanda looks at you, surprised that you said something. You look into her eyes as you speak again.
- Your boyfriend is an insecure scumbag who uses your body insecurities against you. It's sick. - You tell her seriously. - You, Wanda Maximoff, are completely passionate for a thousand reasons other than your looks. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
You smile at Wanda's surprised expression, letting your fingers wander across her features. 
- Do you really mean that? - she asks insecurely, and you give her a tender look.
- You're sweet. - You start, letting your fingers caress her cheek. - Smart and sincere. You have this different energy, like you never fit anywhere and you're absolutely magnetic. - You tell her. - And of course, you also laugh at my jokes, which suggests that you are as sarcastic and perceptive as I am. 
Wanda smiles and closes her eyes for a second, and then looks at you with almost guilt.
- Can I ask you a random question?
- Sure.
- If someone needed to apologize to you, what would be the best way?
- This is a very specific question, Wanda. Should I be concerned? - You retort with mild amusement, and Wanda quickly denies it.
- Come on, answer me. - She asks, and you giggle.
- I don't know, Wanda. - You say laughing, and roll your eyes slightly. - I guess it would depend on what the person did. - You explain, and Wanda looks at you with a frown. - What's that face, what would your answer be then?
- Food. - She says and you look at her with confusion. - The person would only have to buy me food and apologize and I would forgive them.
You let out a laugh, and Wanda follows. And then you assume a thoughtful posture.
- Honestly, I don't think if there is a right way. - You tell her. - I would like the person to be honest with me, and explain to me what happened. - You say, and Wanda nods with a serious expression. - That, or a really cheesy apology act.
- What? - Wanda asks with amusement.
- Yes, like in those old movies. - You clarify with a slight laugh. - If someone apologizes in the rain, or with a serenade at my window, I would probably forgive that person for the shame they are going through for me.
You and Wanda laugh and then your alarm clock starts to ring, signaling that it was already time for everyone to get up and go home. You sigh slightly.
As you sit up in bed, throwing your feet out, Wanda hugs your back, surprising you.
- Thank you. - She says against your ear. - Don't give up on me yet, okay?
You frown in confusion, laughing without understanding Wanda's seriousness. You squeeze your hands together, but then she lets go. 
- Is everything all right? - you ask as she turns around on the bed and stands up in front of you. Wanda swallows dryly, nodding. She smiles before she leaves, and you ignore the strange feeling that has settled on the pit of your stomach as you stand up toward the bathroom.
//-//
The way back to your house is strangely silent. It seems that all of Wanda's friends have changed their personalities overnight. Pietro gives you a quick hug across the shoulders as you get out of the car, and Wanda kisses your cheek. Vision doesn't look at you.
You call your friends as soon as you finish packing your things in your room. And everyone is extremely surprised when you share what has happened in the last few days.
When you return to school the next day, you are feeling excited. 
Your first class is Biology, which means that you would have some time alone with Wanda, and while you wait for the starting bell, sitting on the benches outside with your friends, Wanda's group passes you by. 
You frown as you notice Vision with his arm around Wanda, and she quickly looks away when she notices you watching. You clench your jaw at the childish attitude, and then you are getting up and walking toward the table they have chosen.
- Can I talk to you? - You ask the redhead directly, who seems to have trouble keeping her gaze on you. Her friends also look awkward, as if they are almost embarrassed, and none of them look at you for very long. Completely unlike Vision, who has a smug posture and a wry smile.
- Leave my girlfriend alone, freak. - He then says, and you blink in surprise.
- What is your problem? - You retort in irritation and Vision lets out a wry laugh.
- What is your problem? - He repeats, getting up and facing you. You don't hesitate, but you don't understand why everyone just stares at you. - What did you think was going to happen, huh? That you would start hanging out with the cool kids?
You look at him in confusion, and then he crosses his arms.
- I just want to talk to Wanda.
Vision laughed, looking mocking.
- You're so stupid. - He accused and you took a step back. - The bet is off girl, Wanda has nothing to say.
You blink in confusion, and the redhead is getting up, pulling on her boyfriend's forearm, but you look at them feeling your heart racing.
- What are you talking about?
Vision laughs, releasing Wanda's grip. You think she whispered "Please don't," but you are trying to understand what is going on.
- Oh, your dear friend didn't tell you? - he asks debauchedly. - We had a bet. I was sure you'd be completely obsessed with Wanda by the end of the holiday, and look at you! Here you are. I don't blame you though, Wanda is hot.
You choke in surprise, taking another step back. You risk a glance at the rest of the group, and they have their heads down, guilty looks on their faces. And then you look at Wanda, eyes watering as she clenches her fists. Feeling your heart break, and your stomach clench, you nod.
- Y/N, I can explain. - Wanda starts and you laugh, running your hands through your hair.
- I've always defended you. - You say, putting your hands in your pockets. - When people told me you were false and deceitful, I defended you. I really thought you were different from them.
- I....
- I can't believe I trusted you. - You say. - Never speak to me again, Wanda Maximoff.
You turned around walking away, ignoring the times the redhead called your name as you held back your tears. 
//-//
Your mother told the school that you were sick.
That's how you felt anyway.
It had been three days since you had left your room. Bruce, Monica and Natasha were sending you all the school content you were missing, and you struggled to keep your focus on that and not on the heartbreak that seemed to take over your whole body.
The weekend arrived again, and you decided to get some fresh air. You were on your balcony, sipping hot chocolate when Nat came into your yard.
- Hey, stranger. - She greets you with a smile, sitting down on the seat in front of you. You give her a sad smile.
- Hi, Nat. 
- How are you?
You shrug, and she sighs.
- It will pass, I promise. - She says and you drink some of your chocolate. - By the way, I'm suspended.
- What? - You ask in surprise, and she giggles, showing you the bandage on the fingers of her right hand.
- I punched Vision in the nose shortly after you left the cafeteria. - She tells you, and you widen your eyes in surprise. - I didn't say anything before because I didn't want you to feel guilty.
- Nat! - you exclaim, slightly upset, looking at her hand. - You didn't have to do that.
- I know. - she says with a slight laugh. - But you are my friend, and he is an idiot. You're a dork who doesn't have the strength to hurt a fly, but I have a feeling you'd do the same for me.
You laugh, nodding.
- I would probably get beat up in reality.
Nat laughs in agreement.
You are silent for a moment, until Nat speaks again.
- I hate to see you like this. - She comments, and you sigh, leaving the coffee mug on the table. 
- I hate feeling like this too. 
Nat sighs, opening her arms. You accept her invitation to hug her, and sit down next to her on the bench, letting her wrap you in a side hug.
- You'll come out of this, dear. - She starts to say as she strokes your hair. - Next year you'll be in college, with so many people wanting to get into your pants that you won't even remember who Wanda Maximoff was.
You laugh shyly.
- I hope you are right. - You grumble, closing your eyes.
- I always am.
//-//
You go back to school the following week.
Your body always seems to notice that Wanda is in the same room as you, even though she is meters away, but you learn to deal with the feeling.
You talked to the biology teacher on Monday morning. Apparently, the news quickly spread throughout the school, and she did not refuse to change your partner. 
It wasn't an ideal scenario knowing that everyone in the school was feeling sorry for you, but at least you wouldn't have to talk to Wanda in class.
And so two weeks passed.
You were almost getting used to the feeling as you walked towards the main building, after stopping by the library and returning the physics books you were using, when you heard a commotion in the courtyard.
There was already a circle of students around, and you were considering turning around, because fights are not really your thing, but you had a feeling you should check it out. 
As you slipped in among the students, you let out a surprised exclamation.
- Bruce! - You shouted as you threw the bag on the ground and lunged forward, but the boy who was fighting with your friend just turned around when you jumped at him, breaking free of your grip and laughing with irony and anger. He slapped you in the face that drew a surprised chorus from the crowd. You staggered back with the impact, feeling your face burn. But you stepped forward again, but he gave you a hard shove that knocked you to the ground. As you got up to go forward again, someone grabbed you around the waist. - Pietro, let me go! Help him!
You let out another exclamation when the boy punched Bruce in the face, but Pietro pushed you away from the fight, and Steve held you by the arms in the crowd. Pietro lunged at the boy next, while Bruce fell unconscious.
You broke free of Steve's grip and ran to your friend, and then there were teachers all around you, and you were all being led into the principal's office.
The counselor motioned for you to sit in one of the chairs to wait your turn, and you used this moment to send messages to your friends. Monica told you that she heard about the fight, but that she was in the history room when it happened. Natasha didn't answer, and when she appeared in front of you, you frowned.
- Nat, Bruce he...
- I know. - She interrupted seriously with an almost tearful expression. - He was fighting for me.
- For you? What?
Nat shook her head, looking toward the direction door.
- I told him not to get involved, but he is stubborn. - She says and then takes a deep breath. - That boy over there, his name is Clint. He's my ex. He... he hit me.
- Whoa, what?
- I know, it's too much to explain. - She says. - Me and Bruce, we... we've been going out for a few weeks now. And Clint wasn't happy when he found out. I told Bruce not to get involved but…
- Hey, Nat breathes. - You interrupt by seeing her eyes filled with tears. - This is not your fault.
You hug your friend, trying to calm her down. It doesn't take long for Monica to reach you two.
Soon the director calls you to give your side of the story, and you just tell him that you arrived in the middle of the fight. As you leave, the principal asks you to go to the infirmary and only then you remember that you were beaten.
You give up the idea of getting a bandage when you find Pietro and the group of friends, including Wanda, in the infirmary, but as soon as the nurse lays eyes on you, she pulls you in, sitting you down on one of the free beds.
She starts grumbling that the students have decided to behave like savages as she rushes over with the first aid kits to attend to all the students who were in the infirmary. You don't quite understand what happened, but it seemed that some kids had made a mess in the pesticide gardening class, so there were several students with red spots on their arms complaining of pain.
- It's okay, I can do it. - You tell the nurse as soon as she approaches you with the first aid kit. She looks at you suspiciously, but then a student at your back lets out a complaint and she sighs, handing the items to you as she leaves. You get up to look in the small mirror on the edge of the bed. There is a small cut on your cheek. That guy really hit hard.
While you were preparing the alcohol swab, Wanda walked over to you. You stared at her reflection in the mirror.
- I can help you with this. - She said about the bandage.
- I don't need your help. - You retorted harshly. Wanda looked at the floor. 
- I am sorry. 
You blinked in surprise, and turned away in irritation.
- No.  - You warned, and Wanda swallowed hard.  She looked at you, ready to start talking again, but then you shook your head. - Don't you dare.
- Please…
But you left right away, bumping into her shoulder.
Almost four weeks, and your chest still hurts just the same. 
You think the nurse has called you, but you keep walking towards the exit. 
When you reached the outer courtyard, you collapsed. 
Sitting on the floor, and trying to control your breathing and your crying, you were startled when someone touched your shoulders. Monica didn't ask questions, she just hugged you.
- I can't do it, Mon. - You said between sobs. - I love her so much it feels like I'm going to suffocate.
- Shh, it's okay. - Monica tried to calm you down as she ran her hands down your back.
- Why can't I move on? She hurt me, why can't I stop loving her? - you asked in desperation. Monica just kept calming you. 
- I know it feels like the end of the world now. - Monica says. - But I promise it will pass.
You cried for a few more minutes, trying to push or smother the pain away. It wasn't fair the way Wanda had your broken heart in her hand.
//-//
Bruce did not suffer any serious injuries.
You visited him in the infirmary as soon as he was released from the principal's office. He was worried about your swollen crying eyes, but you assured him that everything was fine.
And then he told you that he was in love with Natasha, and that Clint had been expelled. You shook his hand, saying that everything would be all right now. Soon Nat was in the room with you, hugging Bruce, while you went out with Monica to get something to eat.
The week passed quietly after this. 
Your friends started the "Moving on squad", and they did everything to keep you distracted and well cared for. It was sweet and caring, and it was enough to keep your feelings well under control.
A few days after that mess, you needed to buy tomato sauce for your mother and found Pietro Maximoff in the supermarket checkout line.
- Hey. - He greeted you politely. You felt your heart race at the possibility that he was with his sister. 
- Hi, Pietro. - You answered in the same tone.
You were checking around for signs of the redhead, but Pietro was alone. He said something about the prices, and you just grumbled in agreement, and then it was your turn.
In the parking lot, while you were unlocking your bike, he approached you again.
- I want to apologize to you. - He announced as he approached, and you let out a sigh.
- Look Pietro...
- No. - He interrupts with a quick smile. - I meant it. I'm really sorry. You're a nice girl, and we were idiots. 
You stare at him for a moment, then go back to picking the lock.
- Is that all?
- Yes. - He confirms with a wry smile. But when he turns around, you call out to him.
- I... Thank you for that day. - You say. - You pulled me out of the fight. I probably would have got hurt if... what I mean is... 
- It's all right.- He interrupts with a smile. - It was nothing. 
You nodded and he smiled, turning again and walking away. You finished unlocking the lock and got on your bike.
//-//
The next week you were surprised to find a box of chocolate in your closet.
Nat exchanged a mischievous look with you, and you rolled your eyes absentmindedly, opening the package. It didn't have a name on it, and only said "you are cute". 
- I can't believe you have a secret admirer. - Monica commented excitedly when you told her during lunch. Bruce and Natasha were sitting next to you, laughing lightly as they talked among themselves.
- Neither do I. - You comment with humor. - But the chocolates were good at least.
- I think it’s sweet. - She comments with a smile, and you shrug, blushing.
- It's weird. - You say with a slight laugh, and Monica squeezes your red cheeks lightly, saying that you're adorable, making you laugh. - Damn, I'm terrible at these things.
You start talking about the upcoming exams after that, and then the break ends.
It is in the last period of PE that you speak with Pietro again several days after you saw him last.
- Hey. - He greets you with an excited nod. You smile politely as you tie your shoelaces. 
- Hi. - You say as he joins you.
- Are you going to the game on Saturday? - he asks, causing you to frown. 
- I'm not...
- My god this guy never gives up. - He interrupts with a scowl, looking at something behind you. You turn your head to see what it is, and notice Vision talking to Wanda several feet ahead, near the bleachers. The redhead looks impatient, and you feel your heart ache just by looking directly at her. Shifting your gaze back to Pietro, you notice that he is still grimacing. - They've been broken up for over a month and he still keeps insisting.
You blink in surprise and Pietro looks back at you.
- They broke up?
- I thought you knew. - He quips, slightly surprised, and then shrugs his shoulders. - They broke up that day in the yard. Wanda slapped him in the face in front of the whole school, everyone talked about it for weeks.
- I'm not really into school gossip. - You comment and Pietro laughs.
- Of course not.
You stand up next, your gaze quickly shifting to Wanda, but you disguise it by looking at Pietro, who has an expectant expression on his face. Then you remember the question and let out an exclamation, running your hands through your hair.
- I'm not into sports, Pietro. - You tell him and he nods in understanding, looking upset. - But I like the food. And Natasha loves the games, so maybe I'll show up with my friends there.
Pietro lets out an excited exclamation, and gives you a pat on the shoulder, saying he hopes you can make it, before heading out onto the court. 
You ignore the nervous feeling in your stomach when your gaze meets Wanda's on the other side of the court, and you quickly turn away, starting to do your exercises for class.
//-//
You were slightly surprised by Natasha's outfit. She was covered head to toe in school colors, down to a commemorative hat and matching socks. You looked at her with a raised eyebrow, but she just smiled as she pulled you by the hand to Monica's truck.
- How is the story about the secret admirer going? - Nat asked as you sat in the back seat, and Monica drove to school and Bruce fiddled with the radio.
- I received flowers on Wednesday. - You tell with a smile. - And a collection of special gift vouchers.
- What are these? - She asked curiously, and Monica laughed lightly as you felt your cheeks flush.
- It's a special kind of ... eh ... vouchers for hugs, kisses, that sort of thing. - You mumbled clumsily and Natasha laughed.
- My goodness, look at your face! - She laughed. - You are loving how corny this is.
You grumbled with a hot face, turning your gaze to the window. Bruce chose a very good song next, and your friends started singing along. It didn't take long before you joined them.
//-//
The school stadium was quite crowded. Senior year games always had scouts from universities, so you weren't surprised by family members, and well-dressed strangers in the stands, as well as faculty. 
- Wow, Mom is going to have fun today. - Monica commented as two you walked to the bleachers. She was looking at her cell phone, and showed you a picture of two glasses of wine that Maria had sent her. - She has a date.
- Have you met them? - you asked curiously, and Monica made a noise with her mouth of agreement.
- She's from the Air Force. Very pretty and fun, and she treated me very well. - She told you with a smile. - I hope everything works out between them, Mom deserves to be happy.
You nod in agreement and then you find empty chairs. Bruce and Natasha join you many moments later, carrying the food. 
- Yay, fries. - Monica says excitedly as Natasha distributes the food among you.
The band then enters the stadium. And the crowd seems excited, you and Monica laugh at Natasha's excitement.
As soon as the band makes their formation, the cheerleaders enter the field and the crowd cheers. You try not to look at Wanda so immediately, but that is exactly what you do. When they are all in the center, and finish the performance with lots of applause, the director gets up on the stage and starts announcing the game.
- And without further ado, West View High let's...
The principal is interrupted abruptly by one of the students. You and the audience watch intently as Pepper nudges the principal on the shoulder, and he turns around confused and surprised. She smiles innocently as she quickly takes the microphone from his hand.
- We had a slight change of plans, West View. - she announces, smiling. And then the band is moving on, and you recognize the music quickly. It was an old rock song. The audience sings along excitedly, surprised and in shock, but still happy with the music. 
As the music plays, Pepper turns back to the director, and they discuss something. He lets out a sigh and shakes his head, and she gives an excited little jump, and then is joining the cheering team again.
When the song ends, it is not Pepper who comes up to the podium with the microphone, but Wanda, which generates a lot of comments from the audience.
- Is that? - Natasha starts and you feel your stomach turn.
- Yep.
- Hello West View. - Wanda begins looking nervous, the audience looks at her in anticipation. - Many of you must think me a complete bitch after the rumors that surfaced a few weeks ago.
- Oh my God. - You mumble clumsily, feeling the stares of some people on you. 
- I think I should explain what happened. - Wanda says tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and ignoring the comments from the audience, she continues talking. - My ex-boyfriend and my best friends decided to make a bet. - She explains, and you clench your jaw. - He bet my friends that if I gave even the slightest bit of attention to our colleague, Y/N Y/L/N, she would become obsessed with me in one weekend. - The audience seems shocked by the confessions, but Wanda was looking at you. - The funny thing is, it was the exact opposite. Y/N is this amazing girl, sweet and caring, and I can't stop thinking about her. It must be because I am completely in love with her. - She confessed, and you felt your eyes fill with tears. - But I blew it. I was mean and cruel, and I'm sorry. I'm here to apologize to you Y/N, and you don't even have to forgive me. I just wanted you to know.
The audience erupted in murmurs at the confession, and you were in shock to react. Wanda was also teary-eyed. 
A mixture of "forgive her" and " start the game" and various other comments began to grow louder, and then Director Fury was approaching Wanda, and asking for the microphone back. She took one last look at you, before bowing her head and walking off the field. The audience let out a mixed chorus of celebration and sadness, and then Monica was pushing you slightly, and you waved frantically as you hurried to catch up to Wanda.
- I can't believe you did that! - You shout at her as soon as you reach her in the gymnasium hallway, the noise of the game starting muffled by the distance.
Wanda turns around in surprise, wiping away tears.
- I just...
- When I said the perfect apology would be like a cliché, I can't believe you took it seriously. - You comment as you approach laughing lightly. Wanda looks surprised at your friendly posture. - You are such a dork.
And then you kiss her as you bring your hands to her waist, and she sighs in astonishment, but responds the next second, trembling as your tongues touch. 
You push her against the wall of the hallway, and she slips her arms around your shoulders, melting into the kiss. You separate your mouths for breath.
- I'm sorry. - She asks again with her eyes closed. - I'm really sorry.
- I know. - You agree breathlessly. - Just... don't ever do anything like that again. 
She nods in agreement, kissing you again. It's delicious the way your tongues feel together, making your head spin. You are blushing because Wanda is sighing and making a warm tightness rise in the pit of your stomach.
- I love you too, Wands. - You confess against her lips and she opens her eyes in surprise, you look at her with a smile. - I guess ever since you laughed at my joke in biology class.
Wanda lets out a short laugh, her eyes sparkling with joy.
- I love you. - She answers by kissing you quickly. - I love you. - She repeats and starts depositing kisses all over your face, making you laugh. She repeats and repeats until you kiss her again, intensely this time.
You stay like this for several minutes. Exchanging not-so-innocent kisses against the gymnasium wall. Until the first half of the game is over, and you hear the sound of the players returning to the locker room, and then Pietro is reaching for you, making a false threatening posture when he notices your swollen lips, and Wanda's lipstick on your face.
- Please get a room. - He then jokes, continuing on his way to the locker room. 
You and Wanda agree to leave the stadium, wanting to enjoy some time together without the stares of the audience on you.
You two end up in the back of Monica's truck, staring up at the stars, your hands entwined.
- So it was you who sent the presents. - You conclude by looking at Wanda quickly, to catch her blushing cheeks.
- I was trying to find a way to talk to you. - She explained, turning to you, releasing her hand only to stroke your cheek. - That's why I made the voucher “worth a conversation”.
You laughed lightly, looking at her fondly.
- I liked the kiss coupon. - You say with amusement and she raises her eyebrow, smiling. 
- Yeah? - She replies, bringing your faces together and stealing a lingering kiss from you.
- Best one.
Wanda laughs, pulling away a little. You swallow dryly, watching her carefully. 
- What happens now? - you ask, and Wanda looks into your eyes.
- I don't know. - She says. - But I hope we'll be together in the end.
You smile, nodding. 
- We will. - You assure her before adjusting your position to embrace her. Wanda snuggles against you, enjoying your warmth.
1K notes · View notes
sourholland · 3 years
Note
Omg u should do an imagine of season 2 the bonfire scene but instead of it being Sarah and John b it could be the reader and jj and tipper being the readers ex and the use like a random girl from the party
Bonfire || JJ Maybank
Tumblr media
Summary → You and JJ are broken up and Topper takes you to the annual bonfire.
AN → This is based off of an episode in szn 2 so OBX2 SPOILERS! Send in OBX concepts/requests!
Pairing(s) → JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader
Warnings → Strong Language, Underage Drinking, Violence, Blood
Word Count → 1.0k
“I’m planning on getting absolutely shitfaced, how about you?”
Topper couldn’t help smiling at you, taking a sip of that Natty Light he���d been thrown a few minutes before. The clouds were hanging low in the sky, only a few stars visible through the thick smog. That didn’t stop the blazing fire from sending up grey smoke into the air. Clusters of teenagers were sat around the fire, others messing around on dirt bikes and skateboards.
“Don’t you think you should just take it easy? I don’t want you to make yourself sick,” he told you, leaning over to get closer.
He had been an amazing friend in the week you’d been staying in his pool house. After getting off Figure 8, you and the rest of the Pogues ran off and got into some deep shit. Your parents told you not to bother coming home, mad about how you were dating JJ and sneaking off every other night. Once the cops got involved, you figured you were royally fucked.
So a few days before the bonfire, when you weren’t thinking straight and broke up with him, you essentially had nowhere to go. He was family. The Pogues were family.
Topper let you crash at his, though. It was weird at first, mostly because you had history and everything. You had no choice, it was his place or sticking around the Cut and having to sleep ten feet away from JJ.
“This is me taking it easy,” you sighed, taking another sip of the beer in your hand.
“If you’re not up for this, Y/N/N,” he started with a tone of seriousness. “We can head out and go get something to eat if you want.”
God, why did he have to be so respectful and sweet. It made it so much harder. He woke you up for school in the morning all week, brought you breakfast, helped with whatever homework you didn’t have the energy to do.
And still, you missed JJ more than anything in the whole fucking world.
Topper slung his arm over your shoulder, pulling you into him a bit closer than would be considered platonic. You could smell his Armani cologne, the one he always wore when you were together. And as if timing couldn’t get any better, you looked up from you drink to see JJ being pressed by some senior girl you recognized from your lunch period.
His eyes flickered from her dark hair to you, taking in your appearance and the way Topper had you so close. His lip was busted, cheek sporting a black and blue bruise from a right hook he’d received a few days prior.
“You alright?” Topped asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Mhm, yeah,” you mumbled. “I’m fine.”
The speaker was blaring whatever song, the girl placing JJ’s hands on her hips and letting him sway her around drunkenly. He kept looking over her shoulder, watching you with a hard expression and narrowed eyes. She even at one point seemed to lean into him, waiting for a kiss. He looked the opposite way, ignoring the girl’s huff in frustration and continued to let her dance with him.
“I’m just gonna grab another beer,” you told Topper. “Hold on.”
Pushing through the groups of people, you kicked a few red solo cups and felt your face heat and heart quicken. You weren’t against confrontation, not when you knew he was trying to get a reaction from you.
JJ looked up, watching you near him and and tried to play it off like he wasn’t smirking ever so annoyingly. The smug look lasted until you were standing right in front of the both of them, hands on your hips and eyes trained on her specifically.
“Who’s your friend, J,” you said with more malice coating your voice than intended.
“What’re you doing, Y/N,” he asked. “Shouldn’t you be over there tending to Top and his frosted tips?”
“Fuck off,” you rolled your eyes.
You felt Topper come up beside you, JJ stiffening and the girl visibly upset at you talking to him. It was definitely not ideal, but you assumed that you looked upset to at least him. He always knew how to tell if you were in a mood.
“Look, Y/N. Just go, are you really so desperate that you can’t leave your ex-boyfriend alone?” The girl spoke up, getting into your face a bit.
“I’m sorry, were you talking?” You mocked her.
“He doesn’t want you—”
The sound of your fist colliding with her nose seemed to shut her up. There was a loud reaction from the clusters of teenagers, some taking out their phones to record you. JJ looked taken aback, but pleasantly surprised nonetheless.
“Crazy bitch,” she choked, spitting blood onto the ground.
“You want to see crazy? Get up and I’ll show you how fucking crazy I am!”
Topper put his arm in front of you, as if to stop you from doing anymore damage. This only struck something in JJ, his arms shoving Topper back onto the ground with a collective shout from everyone around.
“Don’t you ever fucking touch her!” He warned through gritted teeth.
It didn’t take long before both of them were on the ground, punches being thrown and people taking sides. John B and Pope had run up soon after, Kie pushing through everyone and yelling at JJ to knock it off. You grabbed him by his shoulders from the back, yanking him onto the ground and watching Topper back away.
“Both of you!” You yelled, “what the fuck is the matter with you, god!”
Sirens could be heard in the distance, meaning in the middle of whatever that was—a freshman probably called the cops. JJ stood with a battered face and black eye, he stepped up to you and exhaled with blood dripping down and his chin.
“This what you want?” He snapped.
He turned away, walking off and leaving you to stand there with glossed over eyes and a bruised hand.
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filipinoizukuu · 3 years
Note
hello mr simp do you have any thoughts on the leeks 👀
FIRST OF ALL. THEY CAME SO FUCKING EARLY??? BRO I WAS ASLEEP
SECOND OF ALL
holy SHIT YALL
Okay, it's no secret that I'm an All Might stan. I LOVE All Might. Very very much. Not just as a simp, but genuinely, I enjoy his character SO MUCH.
--And unlike what some people may think, I'm not totally blind to his flaws. I know he sucks as a mentor and that he's done way more harm to Deku than good. He's.... not perfect. in every sense of the word. The whole point of AM's character is that he is a DEEPLY FLAWED individual— but at the end of the day, still good.
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This new chapter gave me SOOO many new feelings. I'm not gonna lie to y'all and say I was a Stain apologist beforehand because I wasn't. I disliked Stain to a certain degree, but I also knew he was morally grey enough that I was able to still quite appreciate him as a character. This chapter was about EVERYTHING to me because I honestly did NOT expect Hori to go in this direction and for things to happen the way they did. It was too good to be true! Too fanfic-y! The disbelief I felt when I read what happened was on par with when Bakugou and Deku had that apology and kinda-hug in the rain!
But this disbelief is not because it was a bad thing.
I think the writing in Chapter 326 is phenomenal. The moment that All Might was really beginning to lose hope in not just himself as a hero, but himself as a PERSON... we finally hear the opinion of someone who would abso-fucking-LUTELY make or break the last of his spirit.
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Stain is, as much as his views are pretty agreeable and his label is that of a vigilante, still a pretty shitty guy. He's tried to kill literal kids who got in his way, even if said kids made pretty dumb decisions. AM hearing what he has to say is absolutely mind-boggling to him because he knows all of that. He knows Stain is a shitty person and that his worldview is perhaps terribly skewed. He knows Stain has spent a hot minute frying his brains down in Tartarus and isn't good at making judgment calls. Knows that for all intents and purposes, Stain's opinions are not to be trusted.
But the thing is... Toshinori also knows that Stain, regardless of the soundness of his mind, is telling the truth.
Regardless of how fucked-in-the-head Stain is, we as readers are able to acknowledge that he isn't blinded by hero worship. Sure, he's bitter, cynical, and quite the absolutist--but Stain is still clear-headed enough to be able to see AM's flaws for what they are and accept them, ultimately proving to Toshinori that the power of All Might was never his own but rather the legacy that he inspired.
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The society MHA takes place in is flawed. We all know this. Heroes, as a concept, had been corrupted into being purely about good and evil. Purely winning fights for money or fame or the abstract concept of victory (coughs Endeavor and the no.1 spot coughs), making heroism as we know it about flashiness and power instead of mercy and the desire to help others.
All Might symbolizes the ideal version of the Hero Society. He represents doing the best you can. Being a hero until you reach your limits, and then going even past that. He symbolizes pure intention and the desire to be a hero not for material gains but because of the pure want to make society a better and safer place. Stain refers to Kamino Ward and the statue as a "holy land" because he believes that through and through, AM's only had the purest of intentions and morals. To him, Toshinori was like a deity that had no fault in making society what it was in the present because that accountability fell on the generations of heroes that failed to fulfill his legacy.
The point being, Stain understood that All Might was fundamentally not about 'being there' for everyone 24/7, but rather the message his presence had sent.
All Might's monologue at the beginning of the chapter essentially boiled down to the ideas that:
A. He regrets not being there properly for Deku
B. His image was a delusion that ultimately led to the downfall of hero society.
To break this down, his problem with Deku is his inability to be a competent mentor. It shows that he has led him down dangerous and horrible paths (Deku's stubbornness to do things by himself and his 'dark' arc post-war), and is unable to bring him back into the light even if he tries. It was only when Class 1-A had intervened that they were able to get Deku to rest and let people tag along, after all, which is why Toshinori was far too embarrassed to follow him into UA's walls even after everyone had come out with umbrellas.
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Stain disproves this in two ways.
First, he says that it was never about All Might's ability to actually be there for people. The whole point of what inspired Deku to be the inherently good-hearted "true hero" he is today is because of the values that AM's brand had instilled in him as a child. AM's biggest positive impacts came from behind the screen where he was used as the proof that true heroes can and do exist. Deku does want to be exactly like All Might, yes, which is why we see Toshinori leading him down the same path that he walked--but the underlying message of this is that the very first thing All Might gave him even before OfA was the courage to help fix society.
I do believe Deku is an innately compassionate person. Most people in the series are. However, what makes All Might's smile so uniquely impactful to what it did to Hero Society is the way it gave people courage to help people. Less hesitation. Less bystander syndromes. The ability to move without thinking. Because you can feel the want to help a person, but the courage to be nosey and actually do it? That's portrayed as something AM's image teaches people.
The second way he disproves AM's insecurity of dragging Deku down is that he makes it clear that this pain is somewhat of a necessity in reforming society. He says, interestingly enough, that this is but the 'middle process' in reforming society. This spills over to how he addresses Problem B, but what Stain is essentially saying here is that this sort of brutality and isolation that Izuku faces is impermanent. A phase. It implies that even if Deku is struggling and Toshinori is unable to help him, it is something that needs to happen before they re-realize the ideal heroes All Might's image is meant to create.
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The second problem in regards to how All Might feels about current society (how it's collapsing because of him, etc. etc.) is more interestingly addressed. There are many things that Stain says--like how Toshinori doesn't need to actually be the one to fix society with his bare hands. The current society is not his fault because of the fact that it is not finished developing. I'm not sure if I can go so far as to say that Stain means this in the sense of the Scorched Earth method of tearing everything down to build it back up better-- but I can say that Stain still has faith in society to rebuild after this period of chaos.
This rebuilding starts with the old generation of heroes correcting what they messed up (i.e. Endeavor v Dabi) and more importantly, paving the way for a better generation of heroes that was inspired by All Might's image. Heroes that are led by people like Deku, who is defined by his proclivity to help without thinking. The violent deconstruction of society is about exposing society to the raw truth of All Might's image that not everybody can be as strong as him-- which is why we have to take care of each other.
When the lady comes in to remove the sign and start cleaning the statue, it's symbolic. It's a clear metaphor that the past few chapters are the turning point for society as a whole, and how people are starting to remember what real heroism is. From the distrust that was seeded in society ever since LoV had surfaced, we are seeing that trust being returned TEN-FOLD now that people can see not only the mask of a hero's smile, but also the person underneath.
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I think it's some really neat symbolism here too about how Deku, who's metal mouth guard was literally all about representing All Might's smile, is shed.
This is hero society dropping their masks. Letting people see them for as they are. Toshinori revisiting the statue in this form makes all the more impact because he shed his mask ages ago during the Kamino Bust, so this is him coming face to face with the image he's created and seeing the differences between them, and how his image continues to live on even after he's almost completely Quirkless. The lady cleaning the All Might statue shows off the fact that things can be repaired again--that society can be clean (hehe stain pun) again.
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It's interesting to me here how Stain offers the information from Tartarus.
He doesn't care anymore about his life. It's evident. He disagrees with what the LoV is doing, but believes enough in Deku to think that it's time for him to retire the mantle of 'Stain'. Unless this is another test, it's very odd for me to hear that Stain is offering a blade and his life to someone he isn't even sure is All Might.
But the impact of this action reads loud and clear.
This is Stain taking pity on All Might. This is him realizing that All Might too is a person behind the hero. That Toshinori Yagi is incapable of doing anything past the image he had already created. By offering that knife and information on Tartarus, Stain is giving control back to Toshinori. He is giving AM the chance to do something big again to help society's reconstruction. To be a part of the revolution that he so badly deserves to see. That knife is essentially an exit ticket from the sidelines, and one last chance for All Might to be able to see what his image has done for people.
I personally think that the main reason Stain is willing to die then and there by Toshinori's hand, despite not being sure that he is All Might to begin with, is because of the final impact it creates that it isn't about Toshinori Yagi's true power as a person, but the image of All Might. It is because he looks like the symbol of peace, that Stain (the literal HERO KILLER) feels comfortable laying his life in his hands and giving away valuable information.
If that isn't a great testament to the power of AM's image, I don't know WHAT is.
I guess all I have to say is I absolutely love what Stain did in this chapter. Everything felt so incredibly symbolic and emotional and as someone who absolutely ADORES All Might and what he stands for in the story, this felt like a cool balm after seeing Deku tragically reject his bento box a good few chapters ago. I have a few more opinions about symbolism, and how I think Deku's generation of heroes is going to stray from the old gen, but I think that's a discussion for another time.
Thanks for reading 'til the end!
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clusterbuck · 3 years
Note
how about 4 from the prompts list? "I'm here, aren't I?"
okay fun fact when i sat down to fill this prompt and turned my spotify on shuffle the first song to come up was i'm here by sweet talk radio so like... that's appropriate lmao
thanks for the prompt!!
"i'm here, aren't i?" buck mutters under his breath. "stop looking at me like that! it's rush hour on a friday, i did the best i could with the traffic conditions i had."
"i know, i know," eddie whispers next to him. "i'm not mad at, you, i just—" he cuts himself off and sighs. "i was going to talk to you about something before we went in."
"why am i here, anyway?" buck asks, looking around at all of the parents and teachers milling around the foyer of christopher's school. "i mean, you know i don't mind, but you made it sound really—"
he's interrupted by the sound of a woman's voice, somewhere on eddie's other side. "mr diaz, there you are! and this must be the husband."
buck whirls to look at eddie, because—if eddie has a husband, this is the first he's hearing of it.
please, eddie's expression seems to say, desperate and cornered and a little hopeful. and buck's never been able to deny him anything.
he's always been quick on the uptake, and even if he wasn't, eddie's arm sliding around his waist would probably make the pieces slip into place. so he schools his features into his best approximation of what a husband probably looks like and turns to face the woman next to eddie.
she's bright and bubbly, the platonic ideal of a suburban california soccer mom. she holds out a hand, and buck grins as he shakes it. "that's me," he confirms.
"and are you mr diaz as well?" she asks, and buck breathes an internal sigh of relief when she doesn't add anything along the lines of i don't really know how it works with you people.
"buckley, actually," he tells her. "buck." then he drops his voice and leans in like he's sharing a secret. "makes it easier at work, you know, so our captain knows who he's talking to."
she laughs, and eddie squeezes his hip. "i've heard a lot about you," she says with a smile. then she inclines her head at eddie. "he won't shut up about you, actually."
buck grins. "is that so?" he asks, turning to look at eddie.
eddie rolls his eyes. "i talk about you a normal amount," he says. "don't go getting an ego about this."
the woman introduces herself as somebody's mother. next to him, eddie falls into an easy conversation about math homework and the upcoming science fair, but buck is only half-listening. he's mostly preoccupied by the fact that eddie, apparently, goes around telling people that they're married. which is definitely news to him.
he's also more than a little preoccupied by the warm weight of eddie's arm resting around his waist, and the casual way eddie's hand curls around his hip like it belongs there. before he can think better of it, buck leans further into eddie's embrace, and eddie adjusts his grip mid-sentence like this is something they do every day and not something out of buck's wildest daydreams.
eventually, the woman excuses herself to go and find some teacher or the other.
"husband, huh?" buck asks. "that's funny, i don't remember you proposing. or, you know, asking me out."
as he speaks, eddie detaches himself from buck. when buck turns to look, eddie is already wearing a guilty expression.
eddie sighs. "i was going to tell you," he says. "that's what i wanted to talk to you about before we came in."
"i mean, yeah, knowing ahead of time that i'm supposed to be acting like your husband would have made life a little easier," buck says. "also, uh, why am i supposed to be acting like your husband, again?"
eddie looks away, squirrely in the way buck knows he only gets when he's embarrassed. "there was a teacher a while back," he says. "she kept, uh, hitting on me? so i panicked and said i was married."
"okay, so, why me?" buck asks, and wonders if eddie can hear the unspoken question. why are you pretending to be married to a man? eddie's never given any indication that he's anything other than straight. it's the biggest reason buck has him firmly mentally labelled as never going to happen, buckley, you might as well stop dreaming about it.
it hasn't worked so far, but repetition is key.
"i guess christopher talks about you a lot," eddie says. "she asked if it was you, and it seemed easier to say yes than to invent some kind of fictional spouse that i'd have to remember details about."
"romantic," buck says, and eddie laughs and elbows him.
"shut up."
"so why didn't you just tell me?" buck asks.
"i was going to, if you'd been here when you said you would!"
"hey, it's not my fault the 146 didn't manage their pile-up scene properly and traffic backed up!" buck says. "besides, you could also have told me at any other point in time between now and—how long have you been telling people this?"
"uh... six months, give or take," eddie says. "that's why it was so important you come tonight—i've been making excuses for you at school events, but the other parents have started to question it and i don't want them thinking my imaginary husband is a shitty person."
"clearly you have better taste than that," buck agrees.
eddie sighs again, but it's good-natured. "god, i should have known you'd be insufferable about this."
"and yet you picked me anyway," buck beams. "so why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"i was worried you'd think it's weird," eddie says. "and i really needed you to be here."
"mm, being addressed as your husband out of the blue was definitely less weird," buck says.
"so it didn't go exactly to plan," eddie says. "thanks for just rolling with it, by the way."
"of course," buck says. "i've got your back, remember?"
"somehow, i don't think this is what either of us envisioned back in that hospital parking lot," eddie laughs.
and it's true—buck had envisioned doing a lot of things with eddie, back in those first few days before he'd realised he didn't have a chance, but fake marriage was never one of them.
"so is there anything specific you need me to do?" buck asks, in an effort to distract himself from thoughts of the things he did envision.
"just—sell it, i guess?" eddie says. "i'm pretty sure i've only told people things about you that are true anyway, so there's no elaborate cover story or anything."
"except that we're married," buck says.
"except that we're married," eddie agrees. "for—about a year now, i think i've said?"
"a year, okay," buck repeats. "cool, i'm on it." then he steps closer to eddie again and slips his hand into eddie's back pocket.
"buck," eddie hisses. "what are you doing?"
"selling it," buck replies.
"where? in high school in the year 1987?" eddie asks, but he relaxes into buck's side.
"hey, no judging," buck says. "maybe this is my signature move."
"i mean, you do you," eddie says. buck doesn't argue, because he doesn't want to have to tell eddie that he's mostly doing it because this might be the only opportunity he ever gets to touch eddie's ass.
it's only as they set off to meet with the first of christopher's teachers that buck realises he might have miscalculated. because now his hand is on eddie's ass, and he's suddenly hyperaware of even the smallest twitch of his fingers. how much of it can eddie feel? is eddie going to think he's trying to make a move if he accidentally flexes his fingers a little?
it's not that he doesn't want to make a move. it's just that he doesn't think that eddie would be very receptive to it.
except eddie turns out to be a very affectionate fake husband. if buck's hand isn't in eddie's pocket then eddie is holding it. when they sit side-by-side listening to teachers talk about how smart christopher is, eddie's foot is hooked around buck's ankle. in the hallway between meetings, eddie turns to drop a kiss on buck's cheek, and a shiver radiates through him.
buck doesn't know what to make of it. he's used to a certain amount of physical contact from eddie—shoulders brushing together as they walk next to each other, working together so seamlessly their limbs might as well be extensions of each other on calls—but this feels different. it's not just that the touches are different—there's an ease to eddie's actions that makes buck wonder for the first time in years if maybe his mental label for eddie isn't quite as accurate after all.
he doesn't know how else to explain the fact that eddie keeps touching him. it's more than enough to sell their ruse—bordering on excessive, even, especially for a middle school parent-teacher conference.
and buck isn't exactly innocent himself, either. he wonders if a year into a fictional marriage is too far to claim honeymoon period, because that's the closest he can come to describing the feeling—like now that he has permission to touch eddie, the dam has broken and he can't keep his hands off.
they're still holding hands when they spill out of the school doors and into the dark warmth of the september evening. eddie makes no move to let go, and so neither does buck.
buck's jeep is clear across the other side of the parking lot, but he follows eddie to his truck anyway. they reach the car, and eddie brushes his lips against the corner of buck's mouth, closer than he has all night. buck freezes.
eddie pulls back, horror clear across his face. "i'm sorry," he says. "i didn't—i just—i forgot. that we're not inside anymore."
there's just enough wistfulness in his voice that buck makes a split-second decision. he takes a step forwards and takes eddie's face in his hands, stands still for two heartbeats just in case he's reading everything extremely wrong and eddie wants to protest, and then he's kissing eddie.
eddie kisses the way he does everything else, with a steadiness that keeps buck tethered to reality and a quiet intensity that bubbles just under the surface. it's a combination that's uniquely eddie, one that makes buck feel like he could take on the world and win and like he's coming home.
"i don't want it to be just inside," buck says, just in case eddie didn't get the message. "i don't want it to be fake. i mean, it might be a little soon to get married, but—"
"someday, though," eddie says, and buck laughs.
"someday, yeah."
eddie grins at him. "in the meantime, do you want to come home with me tonight?"
"yeah, i really do."
send me a starter line from this list and i'll write a ficlet for it!
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ptergwen · 3 years
Text
from one kid to another
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w/c: 6.0k
warnings: mentions of drinking, lots of swearing, implied smut, and angst at times
summary: it was a mistake, a beautiful one that you didn’t make on your own
a/n: this genuinely is my favorite thing i’ve ever written :,) i say that a lot but this time i mean it, it’s really special i think and i so so so hope y’all do too <3 enjoy my loves
-
there’s only one thing in life that testing positive for is actually positive.
depending on the situation, obviously. yours isn’t ideal, or planned or a blessing or whatever people say. it’s a gigantic mistake that you didn’t realize you made until a minute ago.
you’d noticed something was wrong when your time of the month came and all you experienced was the symptoms. cramps, cravings, everything except your actual period. as everyone is pretty much taught to do, you ran to the closest drug store for a pregnancy test. what the hell else could it be? you messed around a few weeks ago, so there’s a possibility.
your heart felt like it was going to explode out of your chest the whole time you waited for the results. you’d thought of calling tom over for support, but there are a couple of reasons why you couldn’t do that. you realized you made the right decision when your timer for the test went off.
two red lines. you’re pregnant. you’re pregnant, and your best fucking friend is the father.
where do you go from here?
the test falls from your hand and hits the floor with a mocking clank. you slide down until your back is against the bathtub. well, you’re fucked. what an ironic word choice.
the fact that you aren’t ready in the slightest to be a parent when you’re still growing up yourself is one thing. it’s another that this could ruin the most important relationship you’ve ever had.
no, tom won’t be mad. he’s never once fought with or even raised his voice at you. in your times of need, he’s been the one to uplift you and kiss your puffy cheeks dry. no matter how he takes this, you know it won’t be out on you. he is half responsible.
but, with how you left things the last time you spoke, you’re not sure you’ll be able to get past it.
tom is alarmingly good at hiding how he truly feels. you always tease him that it’s because he’s a gemini. he’ll come back with shut up, i’m an actor and stick his nose in the air to give you the full image. in all seriousness, it does take a toll on how well he can communicate.
you’ve seen it in small ways, like when he brings you along for press days and uses unenthusiastic smiles to cover up his yawns. how he’ll be polite in a conversation with people he’d rather not speak to, then mumble about it once you’re home. he tries to put forward the “appealing” parts of himself even though he’s more than them.
tom’s biggest communication issue is that he’s been in love with you since year nine and hasn’t said a word about it. you’ve yet to figure that one out.
you two became friends while tom was starring in billy elliot. his schedule was so scattered between shows and school, so he struggled to balance both. he often had to stay late for extra help on the lessons. you’d also been there a few times. you worked better in the classroom, and he was grateful he didn’t have to be alone with the teacher.
most kids made fun of tom for his interest in theater, to his face and behind his back. not you. you thought it was just incredible that someone in your own classes worked at the west end. you’d told him on your way home one night.
he’d heard you before he saw you. “you’re tom, right?” you asked from behind him, the two of you making your way through the hall. the question sounded friendly, and it wasn’t every day kids were nice to him. tom stopped walking so you could catch up. “yes, and you are?” you gave him a small smile, books clutched to your chest. he instantly returned it.
“y/n. i heard you’re in billy elliot?” you laughed at your understatement, then corrected yourself. “that you are billy elliot, i mean. that’s so cool.” “oh, i am. thank you,” he chuckled back, a full grin taking over his face. you were both walking again, you by tom’s side. “i was hoping to come see you soon.” your voice got quieter as you told him, like you were nervous.
tom never had much luck with girls, not at this point in his life. this was an opportunity to change that. at the very least, to make a new friend. he offered something you said yes to without a beat of hesitation. “what if i got you the tickets?”
from then on, you began talking during class and not only when it ended. tom really knew how to keep the conversation going, telling story after story that left you laughing so much your teacher would shush you. you’d eventually moved to hangouts at either of your houses. harrison came into the mix at some point, the three of you forming your own group.
the difference between tom and harrison was that while harrison linked with other girls, tom was only interested in you. he’d gotten a crush on you pretty fast, if he was being honest. it might have been your shared sense of humor or the way you said his name.
thomas, when he was being cheeky. tommy, which took the place of a pet name. even regular tom. that might have been his favorite. he loved how it rolled off your tongue. he loved, and still loves, you.
you’d gone to all of tom’s performances you possibly could, the ones for school theater included. you also gave him the push to take his talents to hollywood. tom was afraid he wasn’t cut out for the big screen, that he needed more practice and experience first. you told him that if this was what he wanted to do, he had to start somewhere. why wait?
tom then landed his first movie role in the impossible at the age of fifteen. he’d received tons of praise and almost gotten nominated for an academy award, all because you convinced him to audition. you played a huge part in keeping him grounded when he was between films, and caught him up on whatever schoolwork he’d missed.
you practically zoomed to tom’s house when he was announced as the next spider-man. you’d been constantly refreshing every social media platform marvel was on since tom became a finalist for the part. that process was probably the most difficult experience he’s ever gone through. you’d know, having heard all about it from tom.
the two of you celebrated along with the rest of tom’s family that night. you kept giving him little proud of you squeezes on his shoulder or knee. tom is eternally indebted to you for being the most supportive of everything he does.
he of course sends the support right back. although he went down the movie star path, acting wasn’t for you. you’d gone off to university and studied hard as hell and aced all your shit. tom quizzed you on material whenever you needed. he wanted to help you somehow, and this was all you’d let him do.
he’d offered to pay off your loans and any other expenses necessary because he had the money to do that now. you refused every single time, not trying to become dependent on him. he admired your drive, yet hated it at the same time. everything you’d done for him, it was his turn to be the caretaker. it should’ve been.
whenever tom wrapped filming for the holidays and came back home, you were always preparing for final exams. he kept you company, content with simply being in your presence. you typed away on your keyboard and read over notes until your eyes burned. tom occasionally brought you snacks, tea, asked how you were and what he could do.
sometimes, he would have to cut your study time short. he’d say it wasn’t healthy or you were overdoing it and to come relax with him for a bit. other times, tom let you be. he didn’t want to get in the way of your already stressful assignments. those were the nights you’d fall asleep in front of your laptop. drool on your chin, hunched over at your desk.
tom made sure to tuck you in, press a light kiss to whatever part of your face wasn’t covered in spit, then let himself out. he knew where your spare key was, so he used that. you’d wake up to a “Fell asleep studying again. Rest today x” text the next morning.
when it came time for you to graduate, tom was on the first flight there. it was during another round of reshoots for chaos walking. he respectfully told doug that he’d have to work around his schedule or replace him, which couldn’t be done so late into filming. tom didn’t care that it made him seem like a prick. he was getting to you no matter what he had to do.
he’d earned plenty of stares and whispers from people as he took his seat in the crowd. he was a proper celebrity now, so he expected it. his solution was to ignore everything and chat with your family about how proud they were of you, tom the most. he saw you go from a kid attempting algebra equations to an adult at her uni graduation. you’ve really grown up together.
it was why he teared up hearing them call your name, seeing you beam as you walked across the stage. your mom grabbed his hand and nodded at him, like she could tell exactly what was going through his head.
you ran right up to tom after the ceremony was over, leaping into his arms. he let out a couple of chuckles as he spun you around. “i didn’t think you’d make it,” you’d admitted, happy yet sad tears in your eyes. tom put you down so he could pull you in for a real hug. “i’ll always be wherever you are, y/n,” he said into your ear, rocking you while you gripped at his suit collar.
flash forward to a year later, your career is finally taking off, tom’s is flourishing like it has been for years, and you’re pregnant with his child. you’re trying to recall the series of events that led you to this moment.
you were both drunk, blackout drunk because the only reason you remember sleeping together is that you woke up naked in the same bed. harrison’s bed.
he threw a housewarming party for himself, having recently moved out of tom’s and the other boys’ place. the three of them, sam, and you were all in attendance, along with a lot of others you hadn’t met.
neither you nor tom could figure out where he knew all those people from. he’d clinged to you two for the most part, more so you now with tom usually away. they could have been from work. harrison is breaking into the business himself, small roles here and there. tom actually met him in your school’s theater program, then he introduced him to you, ten years ago already.
sam entertained himself by making concoctions with the snacks harrison set out. harry got together a playlist for the party. harrison and tuwaine struck up a conversation with some of harrison’s actor friends. that left you and tom alone, out of stuff to do, and with one way to fix it.
“drink?” tom had asked you, a smirk playing on his lips. “love one,” you hummed back and set off for the kitchen. the two of you raided harrison’s liquor cabinet, grabbing his biggest bottle of wine. he’d dumbly pointed it out during the house tour he gave you before the other guests arrived.
you were about to search for glasses, but tom’s fingers threaded through yours. he gently tugged you away and nodded behind him. “let’s bring this upstairs. seems much more fun there,” he’d murmured over the music, a grin breaking across your face.
tom is big on clubbing and socializing, however, you aren’t. he comes up with ways to get you out of these events, just in case.
“we can break in harrison’s bed for him,” you said as a completely harmless joke, no intentions of that becoming your reality later on. spoiler alert: it did. “and how are we gonna do that?” tom quirked a suggestive eyebrow and breathed out a laugh as you dragged him towards the stairs. despite yourself, you’d giggled at his words.
not one drink in either of you yet, and you were stumbling and cracking up as you ran upstairs. you’d pulled tom by your still attached hands into what you remembered as harrison’s room. tom shut the door, locked it, saying under his breath that would be a “convenient investment” for him to make as well.
he took out a bottle opener that he must have put in his pocket at some point and got to work on your wine, you getting comfortable on the new mattress. the two of you passed it to the other after every sip, tom licking the taste of your lip gloss off his own lips every so often.
the equivalent of three drinks in, you were making out. both of you were just tipsy at this point, tom holding you by your hips as you lied down, your legs around his waist. god, he could’ve done this sober. he’d dreamed about kissing you, really kissing you since he was fourteen. you’d always felt like you two had something more. ah, there it was.
halfway through the bottle got you past the next two bases, and you were ready for the fourth and ultimate one by the time you shook the last few drops onto the tip of your tongue. tom groaned at the sight of that, drawing your half naked body in closer to his.
you two had forgotten to use protection in each of your drunken states. without a doubt, you both would’ve agreed to a condom had your minds not been everywhere but where they should have.
you’d woken up first the morning after, panic immediately coursing through your veins thicker than blood. a fully nude and sleeping tom had you in his embrace, arms secured around your middle, facing you. you gasped when you made the connection, loudly enough to wake tom up. his long eyelashes tickled your face, a confused pout on his lips. uh... um...
“did we fucking...” you trailed off, no words to describe whatever unfolded. “fuck?” tom finished for you. a very blunt explanation, but true nevertheless. “looks like it,” he rasped, pout changing into a smile. your face fell at the vague memories of how you spent your night.
you definitely wanted to do it. just, he’s your best friend, who’s seen you at your least sexy moments over the years. when you were sick, had breakdowns from stress, you name literally anything, tom was there. it took one bottle of cheap wine for him to forget that?
the real answer was no. tom is entirely in love with you, for a decade at that. you were beginning to discover you feel the same, only you had no idea he already loves you. you’d assumed this was meant to be merely a hookup. from the frown your face held, he’d thought you were regretting it. oh, were you both so wrong.
“um... we don’t have to talk about it,” tom told you halfheartedly, under the impression that’s what you preferred. you physically felt yourself get weaker in tom’s strong arms. he’s not interested. “yeah, that’s probably for the best. i...” you were lying. his heart shrunk, shriveled up inside his chest. she doesn’t love me like that.
“you have to go. aren’t you behind on some emails?” tom hoped you didn’t hear his voice strain from the tears pushing at his eyes. “right. almost forgot, thanks.” you’d plastered on a smile, slipping out of his grasp. a tear rolled down his cheek, so he wiped it away before you noticed. you’d already gotten out of the bed and begun picking your clothes up off the floor.
“i’ll drive you home, then.” he rolled on to his other side, you thought so he could give you privacy to change. it was that, and also because he was crying. he couldn’t hold it in. tom is naturally an emotional person. imagine finding out the love you’ve had almost half your life is unreciprocated. it’s soul crushing.
you two found harrison snoring and on top of tuwaine as you left the house. no silly remarks or shared glances for the first time in ten years. tom couldn’t muster anything up, and you felt numb.
the drive was painful. you’d said your goodbyes after tom pulled up to the curb, which held an odd weight to them. once you were out of the car, a sob wracked through him, banging on the steering wheel and not giving a shit about the loud horn going off. you collapsed face first onto your bed. hours passed by while you stared at nothing and contemplated everything.
since it happened, you haven’t spoken much. small talk over text every few days or so, both of you pretending things are normal for the other’s sake. about a month later, today, is when you found out you’re pregnant.
there’s no use wallowing in any of this. you need to figure out your next move, one that should probably involve tom. first, you want to talk to someone else. you want other opinions and a voice in your head that isn’t your own. harrison gets a text from you saying to come over now, the now in all caps. he does.
you let him in after the second knock, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. however torn you are, you must look it. shirt balled in your fists, lip quivering. he keeps his eyes on yours as he steps inside, pushing the door shut behind him. this is all becoming too real. “y/n, are you okay?”
you’re about to cry in three, two...
“haz, i fucked up,” you choke out, tears unable to stay at bay. he takes you into his arms for a hug. half your face is hidden in his shoulder, hands clutching at his back. he lets you cry it out, holding you until your heavy breathing steadies. “what’s happened?” harrison asks quietly, both of you leaving the hug.
“if- if i tell you, you can’t freak out. you can’t tell anyone else, either,” you instruct, searching his eyes for certainty that he won’t under any circumstances. “i won’t, y/n/n,” he assures you and puts an encouraging hand on your arm. your heart pounding abnormally fast, you spit it out. your first time saying it aloud. “i’m pregnant.”
harrison flinches and doesn’t even try to conceal it. he takes his hand off of you, worry swimming across his features. he blinks at you, unsure of what to say. you’d react the same way, maybe worse, so you don’t blame him. a discussion you, him, and tom had a couple years back replays in his mind.
the three of you were talking about your futures, seeing as you were close to living them. when tom asked you two where you stood on having your own families, you didn’t hesitate to answer. “nope, the factory is closed for a long ass time.” until you were in your thirties, you aimed to focus on yourself. harrison distinctly remembered because of how you phrased it.
“you’re... you... wow,” is all he replies with. you head over to the couch, more tears welling up in your eyes. do the pregnancy hormones act up this early? harrison follows you over and sits down next to you with an awkward clearing of his throat. “do you want to be pregnant?” he has to ask because he’s not sure if he should congratulate you or what.
“i don’t know,” you answer honestly, voice airy. your eyes are fixed on the wall in front of you. you haven’t given yourself time to think about it. there are so many reasons you don’t, and a single one you do. “do you, um, know who the dad is?” harrison glances over at you. “yeah.” your voice cracks. you’re both afraid for him to ask what he does next.
he shifts so he’s sitting up. “can i know?” a sniffle passing through you, you finally look at him. “it’s tom,” you say it before you lose the nerve to. harrison’s face doesn’t change this time. he isn’t surprised you and tom went there. he’d seen your friendship growing into more the older you all got. what he can’t believe is where it took you.
his best friend pregnant, and his other best friend responsible for it.
“when did you...” “at your party,” you explain, bringing your legs up so they’re criss cross on the couch. “i thought you were gone a little too long.” he says that to try cheering you up. you appreciate the effort, but it doesn’t work. you’re not in a joking mood. he’ll stick to the main issue. “so, have you told him?”
“clearly not,” you scoff, not at him but at what you two have gotten yourselves into. “y/n... i think you should tell him,” harrison sighs out, then adds, “whether you keep it or not.” “why? that would ruin everything, it already has.” you’re getting angry now, which plunges you into angry crying, voice unsteady as you go on.
“the last time i saw tom was that night, and i guess it meant more to me than it did to him because we haven’t talked about it at all. he didn’t want to.” you swipe the back of your hand across your eyes, gaze stern compared to harrison’s soft one.
he drapes an arm around your shoulders, you curling into him with another sniffle. he doesn’t say anything for a minute, then he tries again. “i know you, y/n, and i know tom. you’ll kill yourselves not talking about this.” he’s right, no shit he is. avoiding telling tom how you feel, and your pregnancy on top of that, it’s eating you up inside. it’s swallowing you whole.
“what if he doesn’t want to be a dad? or- or i’m a shit mum?” you croak out, your doubts getting the best of you. “i can barely take care of myself. what am i supposed to do with a baby?” you’re leaning forward with your hands pressing into your temples. harrison’s hand moves to your upper back. “i- i don’t think i should have them. i... we can’t,” you conclude.
“tom loves kids,” he gives you a gentle reminder. “why would his own be the exception?” another good point, yet you still have rebuttles. “right, he’s a godfather and he’s really good with them and all that, but i’m not the right person, and it’s a terrible time,” you tell him all at once, in a rush to get your words out before harrison’s sway you.
“he’s never around, i’m doing my own stuff. we’re not meant for this.” you lift your head out of your hands and sit back on the couch. harrison returns his hands to his lap. he’s frowning at you, which you see from the corner of your eye. “i’m not going to force you to have the baby. just saying you have options.”
yeah, really shitty ones.
“either way, talk to tom.” harrison says this more like a demand so you’ll take his advice into actual consideration. “at least about the hookup.” your teeth sink into your lower lip, eyes watering for the nth time already.
you have no choice because he’s right again. you’ll never move on from what happened unless you and tom address it.
the next morning, you do what harrison told you to and invite tom over. he replied saying he was on his way maybe a minute later. he’s nervous to see you because yeah, but more so looking forward since it’s been so long. you’re so nauseous you barely have room for nerves. it’s morning sickness with a hint anxiety.
it feels almost normal when he first gets here, no how’ve you been and what are you up to these days? being as close as you and tom are, you’re not capable of such a dry conversation. personally, you still feel uneasy while he recounts a golfing incident him and harry got into the other day. you know something he doesn’t.
“when i tell you we flew, we flew,” tom makes a pushing forward motion with both hands. “right into the tree. i think harry, like, dented part of his face.” he lets out a breathy laugh, you forcing out one of your own. you’d be more interested without the fact that you’re expecting a child, his child, at the back of your mind.
tom exhales, shifting to face you on your couch. it’s funny how different things were when you and harrison sat in these same spots yesterday. so much has and is about to change.
“they had to send another golf cart to come get us. it was wild.” “it sounds wild,” you hollowly agree. he can tell you’re not too invested in hearing about harry’s terrible driving skills, so he changes the subject. “anyway, harrison told me he came over last night?” your stomach drops, heat coming over your whole body.
“did... did he say why?” you murmur with a look of urgency in your eyes. tom shrugs a shoulder, and casually. there’s no way he knows. “no, was he supposed to?” his tone stays playful, which you can thankfully tell. that puts you more at ease. “no. no, never mind. i would’ve asked you to come, but...” you’re searching through your catalog of excuses.
thank god tom says something else because you can’t find a good one. “it’s alright. i actually, um, had a work call.” a small smile spreads across his face, a proud one. intrigued, you raise both eyebrows. “what’d you talk about?” tom twiddles with his fingers in his lap. “i’ve been offered an audition for this really amazing film. everything works out, it’ll be huge for me.”
you’re smiling back this time, putting a hand over one of his. “woah, that’s incredible. i’m so happy for you, tom.” you lock your fingers with his from the back of his hand. he looks down at them, humbly shaking his head. “when is it?” “a few weeks from today. it films in brazil...”
oh. you can’t tell him now. it’s not worth him missing out on a milestone in his career for a baby you’re not sure you should have. that would be so unfair of you to ask. what are you going to do, not support his dreams for the first time in a literal decade? and, you’d call yourself his best friend through it all?
you guess this also means the way you feel about tom is one sided. he’s okay with leaving you after the most intimate moment you two have ever shared. you’ll dance around it the rest of your lives. better yet, act like the night never even happened. that’s not so easy to do when you’ve got a permanent reminder of it.
the thought makes you sick to your stomach. so sick, you could...
while tom is talking more about what the audition entails, you suddenly bolt up from the couch. you run for the bathroom, a hand cupped over your mouth. his face twists up in confusion from your disappearance. tom calls, “y/n/n?” out to you, but you can’t respond because your head is in the toilet. he rushes in when he hears you retching.
he gets onto the floor with you. you’re bent over, puking your guts out, back in another place where your life changed forever less than twenty four hours ago. tom pulls your hair out of your face and into a makeshift ponytail with one hand, his other on your back. that’s all you have in you. you stay over the toilet just to be sure.
saliva drips from your mouth, making you cough roughly, the sound echoing. tom moves so he’s next to you, keeping his hand in your hair and not caring one bit about the smell because he loves you and he’s utterly concerned about what he witnessed.
“love, are you sick?” he coos, searching for your eyes. they water from the intensity of everything. “morning sickness,” you answer without thinking first. shit. shit, shit, shit. it came out of you like more vomit, word vomit. there’s no going back now.
tom lets go of your hair with his eyes still on yours. his hand on your back then leaves you, fingers trailing down your body as they go. “morning sickness,” he repeats, putting it together. “you’re pregnant?” guilt taking over your features, you sit across from tom. you’re once again leaning against the bathtub, him against the counter.
“this isn’t how i wanted you to find out,” you admit and bring your knees up to your chest. “i took a test yesterday. it was positive.” your arms wrap around your legs, you now tearing up because tom figured it out. a shaky breath passes his lips. “i haven’t gone to my doctor or anything yet, but i-“
“are you keeping the baby?” tom cuts in. not to judge you for your choice, to find out what the fuck is going on before he travels across the world. you tighten your arms around yourself, grabbing your wrist. “i haven’t decided.” he gives you an understanding nod and reaches out for you. you dodge him. he might not want to do that after what you say next.
“tom, i... there’s more,” you whimper out. “yeah. i’m... i’m listening,” tom croaks, unable to hold in his infinite amount of emotions for a multitude of reasons. he’s losing you a second time. more tears spill from your eyes as you break the news, the news that will destroy what he’s been working towards his entire life.
“the baby is yours.” his face relaxes, looking almost relieved when you confess it. “when we slept together, uh,” you’re sure it’s obvious enough that you don’t have to go over the details. he’s tearing up himself. you reluctantly continue. “if you still want to audition, i get it. we don’t have to do this.”
“fuck the audition. fuck the whole movie. all of my movies, really,” tom surprises you by blurting out. he moves in until your legs are touching. “i’m staying. even if you don’t have the baby, i have to be here.” you watch in disbelief as he wipes away what are actually happy tears. “really? i was scared you’d resent me for it, or hate me even,” you mumble to him.
“y/n, what? why would i ever do that?” tom places a hand on your cheek, touch gentle and filled with love. you part your legs so he can be closer to you. he takes the space between them, thumb brushing over your skin. “i didn’t think you’d want to deal with all of this. i thought that night was only a hookup for you.” your voice wobbles under his gaze.
“no, are you kidding? i thought that’s what you thought.” he’s smiling now, eyes twinkling along with it. what he’s been meaning to tell you since you were only kids finally comes out. “i’ve loved you as long as i’ve known you, y/n. i always imagined myself doing this with you.” his words draw a quiet laugh from you, a happy one. “i know we were drunk, but i meant it all.”
the sincerity in his voice, the warmth in his eyes, they make you cry all over again. you’re getting used to it.
“i love you, tom,” you lean into him with a sniffle and a grin, his forehead now resting on yours, using his thumb to catch one of your tears. “i really do.” “i love you forever. i always have,” tom speaks lowly, breath fanning across your face. your hands grab at his shoulders. “so, you’ll stay? you’ll do this with me?” he reminds you of what he said before, this time a promise.
“forever.”
-
you ended up having the baby, and tom held your hand through the entire labor. nikki was holding his other hand, your mom holding your other hand. harrison had originally been in the room as well. when you started to push, he got freaked out and had to leave. your support system remained strong either way.
despite his repulsion of your daughter’s birth, you and tom decided to make harrison her godfather. he eventually became the godfather of your other two children also, which you had a few years later.
tom took a paternity leave from the industry so he could be with you and jamie. he’d also used his time off to propose to you, something else he fantasized about since year eleven in school. it wasn’t anything too grand because the whole world was already buzzing about you two, and a big gesture felt too impersonal with everything you’d been through together.
he did it in the form of passing a note, something you often did in class to avoid being scolded by your teacher for talking. the note came with a pencil to check off either the yes or no box, “will you marry me?” written above them. anyone else would have found it so unromantic, but you giggled as you checked off yes before your lips crashed into his smiling ones.
you were married shortly after the proposal, jamie as your flower girl and all your friends and family in attendance.
to do what he loved and stay with the people he loved, tom created his own version of hollywood in london. he took it upon himself to assemble a team and make a production company. harry behind the camera, harrison and tuwaine in the films, and tom either starring alongside them or directing. they give so many young actors tons of opportunities.
you eventually went back to work, too. it was like you’d never left, coworkers offering endless hugs and going over what you missed, not that you struggled getting into it. tom was there to celebrate every promotion, every compliment from your boss, every part of your life. jamie was also there, then liam and lucy.
all three of them are running around the house right now, putting on shoes and collecting their supplies for school. you take a sip of the orange juice liam didn’t finish with a lighthearted eye roll. tom chuckles as he passes you in the kitchen, getting the kids’ lunchboxes for them to minimize the chaos.
“you have that pitch meeting today, right?” he slips his hands through the lunchbox handles and walks over to you. “mhm,” you hum, mouth full with juice. his lips press to your temple, giving your waist a one handed squeeze. “you’ll smash it. always do.” “thanks, tommy.” putting down the cup, you reach up to button whatever parts of his shirt he didn’t have time to.
“aren’t you doing a casting? for the new script they sent?” you wonder aloud and smooth down the cotton material. “me and harry. should be interesting,” he remarks, you giving him a quick kiss back on his chin. they tend to have their artistic differences. “good luck with that. you do drop off, i’ll do pick up?” you pat one of the lunchboxes around his arms.
“deal.” tom goes in for a kiss on your lips, then a chorus of dad, we have to go led by jamie rings through the house. with a knowing smile, you push at his chest. “see you later. love you.” “love you, holland,” he bites back a grin of his own. his last name, now yours, suits you perfectly.
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wearywinchester · 3 years
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Something Old and Something New — Part One
Mechanic!Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: When life takes a turn and you take an unexpected break from college in Stanford with your best friend Sam, you return home to your job at your family’s co-owned garage. You return home to work alongside the guy you thought you hated—Dean Winchester.
Word Count: 3.8k
Warnings: mild angst, mentions of death, mild swearing, fluff
A/N: Part one to my mechanic!Dean series!
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Kansas.
It’s always been home to you no matter what, even if your time was split between here on summer break and the apartment you shared with Sam while the two of you went to school together. It was somewhere that never changed despite your ever changing life, and that was something you felt you needed amidst everything swirling through your mind as of the last six months. A place that was always there to welcome you back home with open arms no matter how few and far between your stays back there were. It was home and it was familiar.
You sighed as you looked out of the car window, gaze focused on just about everything you could see ever since you landed at the airport just barely half an hour earlier. You had to admit you were happy to be home for more than just a short period of time, you missed it here. But you wished it were under better circumstances.
Sam was still back at Stanford surely with his nose stuck in a book far too thick for you to think about without giving yourself a headache, and while the thought made you smile, you couldn’t help the nagging feeling knowing you should be there too. You were nearing the tail end of your time in law school, having had one year left before you’re expected to graduate and get your degree, though you were feeling a little less excited than you think you should be. You were home instead of over there after all.
“For itchin’ to be back home, you sure don’t look like it,” Benny chuckled from the driver’s seat, glancing at you as your lips pursed and your brow quirks up. He nudges you with his elbow to accompany his words, his amusement only increasing at your grumpy expression.
Benny.
He was your parents best friend for as long as you can remember, the closest thing you’ve got to family since your parents passed away a few years back. He was an uncle to you just as much as Bobby Singer was to Sam and Dean, and you knew you wouldn’t trade him for the world. Even when he’s giving you a hard time like in that very moment.
“I wasn’t exactly planning on taking this kind of a break either, Benny,” you huff, shifting in your seat. You turned your head at the quiet sound of his laugh, your gaze narrowing. “‘S not funny.”
“You’re right, it’s not. But that pout you got goin’ on is.”
When he looks at you once more it takes all but a few seconds for you to turn your head and look away, eyes rolling as you bite the inside of your cheek to stifle your smile. You shake your head, knowing it’s no use to even try.
But it’s true, you weren’t expecting to take this kind of a break this far into college because you weren’t expecting to fall out of love with your choice in a career. You made it this far—you were twenty-four and on the brink of becoming a lawyer along with your best friend Sam. But somewhere between here and there you found yourself mulling over the possibility that maybe you didn’t quite like this kind of job as much as you initially thought. You chalked it up to burnout at first, a reasonable assumption, but after returning back from summer break last year feeling less than refreshed and ready to start the new year of studies, you weren’t feeling that same spark.
You were beginning to feel like that profession wasn’t quite the right fit for you, and that was when you decided to come home.
“You’ll figure it out, you know. You always do, Y/n/n,” he says after a little while.
The smile his words pull from you is more bittersweet than anything, because you felt so far from figuring it out that it was near laughable. If you weren’t going to be a lawyer, and you were entertaining the thought more and more every minute, you didn’t have a single clue as to what you’d do with your life. Going into the family business wasn’t exactly an ideal option—you knew your way around a car but you don’t think you could spend day in and day out being a receptionist forever either. You enjoyed what you did at the garage when you work, but you wanted to do more.
You knew that, you just didn’t know what.
“Sam doesn’t even know why I’m taking a break, that’s how ‘figured out’ I have this whole thing. He thinks it’s just ‘cause I miss home,” you say with a sigh, slumping back in your seat.
“You don’t miss home?” He asks, humor in his tone as he raises a brow in faux offense.
You flash him a half annoyed glance, lips pursed only momentarily. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
Your frown has him smiling all the more as you sulk, your mood only fueling his good one because that’s just how Benny Lafitte is. Not that he likes seeing you in misery, he just sees that everything will work out in time, even if you don’t.
“C’mon, Y/n, lighten up a little, kid!” He says, as upbeat as he can be as he gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze. You roll your eyes and smile a little more. “There’s that smile.”
You shake your head as a laugh falls from your lips, huffing out another sigh as you look at him. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
“Is there any other way to be?”
You let out an amused huff then, feeling just a little bit lighter than you had when your plane first landed, though the tension in the very pit of your stomach still remained tightly coiled in its ever present knot.
There was a lot for you to think about in the time that you had here, your mind always wandering back to how you’d tell Sam. He loved it there and it was clear to see that, it was clear to see he fit the job and was leaps and bounds more enthusiastic about it than you. You thought about the extra studying you’d have to do if you decide to go back, and the studying you should probably keep doing if you want to be consistent and retain what you’ve learned. But the mere thought itself was something that made your head spin, something that made you even more content with the idea to leave that behind and stay here.
Surely Sam would understand it.
It wasn’t more than five minutes before Benny pulled his truck into the parking lot of the garage, the one you’ve been to a million times over by now. It was just the same as you left it last—a little rough around the edges but it was like a home away from home and you’d never think otherwise.
“Dean’s real excited to see you,” he jests, nudging your arm. His laughter is immediate at the sight of your expression, a scoff leaving your lips.
“I’ll bet he is,” you mumble, unbuckling your seatbelt.
“I thought you two grew out of that phase by now.”
“Who said it’s a phase, Benny?” You smile.
Dean Winchester.
The one who stepped on the backs of your shoes as a kid, the one who took the last slice of pie and still will without a beat of hesitation. The one you stole flannels from as teens, especially the ones he wore most often just to hear him shout and complain when they’d gone missing. It was a habit that led you to find the stash of candy bars he’d kept hidden in his closet, snagging them not so discreetly only for him to turn around and get you right back.
The two of you strived to get on each other’s nerves and it showed to just about anyone who had the pleasure of spending so much as five minutes with the two of you in the same room. You bickered even on the best of days, always a constant string of eye rolls and curses mumbled under the others breath in complaint. He was just as stubborn as you, and maybe, just maybe have you met your match.
You hopped out of the truck and closed the door, smoothing your hands over your jeans. You squinted as you looked upward, laughing softly. “You still haven’t fixed the sign?”
The ‘s’ that was supposed to be upright at the end of ‘repairs’ had been dangling crookedly since the last time you were here, looking comical and out of place with the rest of the sign but you can’t say you were surprised that it looked the very same.
“What do you mean still? It hasn’t even been that long,” he defended, scratching his head as he bit back his grin.
“Benny, I was here eight months ago and it looks exactly the same,” you say, brow raised as you squint at him with an amused smile.
When he does nothing but shrug his shoulders and hope you take his smile as a peace offering, you simply shake your head and laugh, pulling open the front door and walking inside.
The familiarity hit you once you walked in, the slightly crammed and cluttered place smelling a little bit like gasoline and a lot like the lunch everyone had on the collective lunch break. The radio in the corner was playing classic rock, the station never having changed from it unless you wanted to get on Dean’s nerves a little bit and switch it to some pop music he swore he absolutely dreaded. You knew better than to believe that when you caught him singing some lyrics under his breath as he worked on Baby after hours.
You leaned over the counter, the desk you called your very own and your pictures were still there, little knick knacks still in there place but everything was just a little bit grease smudged from one of the guys taking up reception.
“Look who’s back in town.”
You stilled, gaze shifting upwards in an eye roll as a huff exhales through your nose. You knew that voice anywhere, it was impossible not to. It was the voice of the very one who strived to get on your nerves with nearly every word he spoke because that’s just how he is.
Dean.
You spun on your heel and met his gaze, the irritated expression you’d held for the older Winchester faltering for just a moment at the very sight of him standing before you before it quickly returned with just a little less annoyance than it once had. The smirk he wore was enough to do just that, a bit of grease smeared across his cheek with some matching stains on his shirt.
“Deanie,” you greet, his expression fading in favor of a more hardened one at the nickname you knew he hated.
It didn’t last very long, the very corners up his mouth quirking upwards in a way that was all too telling that he was undoubtedly up to something. You knew him by now yet you were still too caught up with something about him to realize it before it was too late.
“Y’miss me, sweetheart?” He asks, tugging you in close for a hug. He gave you a squeeze just to hear you whine an fuss over the fact that he’d been sweaty from the heat of working all afternoon, that and the grease that most definitely was getting all over you.
“Dean,” you grumble, shoving at his shoulders halfheartedly, “get off!”
He let go with a chuckle, his head tipping back in a louder bout of laughter at the sight of the grease having smeared on your cheek and the frown on your lips. Fighting your smile was harder than you cared to admit in that moment, and you hated the way that maybe you missed the feel of his arms wrapped around you once he let go of his embrace. You shook your head partly in a bit of annoyance and partly to shake those thoughts away, arms having been crossed over your chest when he looked at you.
“You got a little somethin’ on your face.” He licks the pad of his thumb and reaches forward teasingly to wipe it off, your hand pushing his away.
“What’s the matter, law school too boring for you now?” He jests lightheartedly, slinging the rag in his hand up to rest on his shoulder.
You roll your eyes in response as you look away briefly. That’s when he saw a flicker of something different cross your expression for a mere moment, something he knows is more than just a little bit of annoyance. He knows you a bit better than you realize. It’s different but you quickly mask it with a smirk of your own and he thinks nothing more of it.
“Don’t you have a car to fix?”
“Don’t you have a textbook to read?”
You scrunch up your nose and he scrunches his, and you’re seconds from snagging the rag off his shoulder before the phone rings. You round the desk as he leans his elbows on the counter. He’s got a smirk on his lips as you shoo him away, more adamant the more the phone rings as he reaches over and snags a piece of candy from the jar you always kept. Your glare is one that he basks in as he pops the candy in his mouth.
“Winchester and Lafitte Automotive Repairs, this is Y/n speaking,” you say as you answer the phone, missing the way he smiles to himself and shakes his head as he walks away.
You sighed as the old clock on the wall behind your desk strikes seven o’clock, the last customer of the day having just picked up their car to take home. The stuffy heat had cooled off some now the the sun was beginning to dip lower in the sky now that evening rolled around, the fan set up in the corner helping just a little bit. Everything was cast in a golden orange hue as the sunlight streamed in, carrying with it the shadows of the pine trees standing tall on the other side of the road.
Your work day was cut a few hours shorter than it usually was since your arrival earlier that afternoon, but you were still just as tired, body fatigued from traveling. You were more than grateful that most of your stuff was already in your apartment here, the only things you’d brought having been your clothes and things you’d miss if you left it back at your place you shared with Sam.
“This place never runs quite as good without you, you know,” Benny says, nudging your shoulder as he passes behind you to snag his keys from the hook.
You smiled at his words, nodding softly as the sentiment brightened your mood a little bit more. “You ready to go?”
You stood from your chair and pushed it in as you stretched, grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. The look on Benny’s face when he’d turned around to face you was one that had you curious, cautious at that. It was apologetic and amused all in one, something that was far too indicative that what he was about to say was something you didn’t want to hear.
“Don’t be mad, but—”
You tilt your head and your expression falls neutral as your lips purse. “Why do I feel like I’m going to be mad?”
He started to pass you and round the corner, almost as if to dodge a bullet, said bullet being just about anything you could throw before he spoke up.
“I can’t take you back home, so…” he takes note of your souring mood and he holds a finger up as you walk out from behind the counter with crossed arms. “So, Dean’s gonna drive you home. I already put your bags in his car earlier.”
“You what?”
The two words were doubly shocked and equally displeased as you and the green eyed Winchester spoke them at the same time. When you turned you saw him wiping his hands on a rag before tossing it to the side, his brows furrowed.
“Do me a favor and try not to kill each other,” Benny smiled, one that was far too innocent for his own good because you knew for a fact he’d done it on purpose.
But he said nothing more as he tossed Dean his keys, kissing the top of your head before he slipped out the front door. You turned to look at Dean who’d looked at you, a mirrored look of pursed lips and furrowed brows shared between you two as silence engulfed the place for just a few moments.
“I call radio,” you say, his brow raising when you head towards the door.
“Like hell you do,” he calls after you.
You were lucky it was only a ten minute drive to get there, the tension thick as you got in the car. He turned the radio up with a sly smile and a laugh at your glare, dodging your swat to his shoulder.
“Do you listen to anything other than the same five songs, Dean?” You huff, elbow on the door as you rest your head on your hand.
“Not a chance, sweetheart,” he says, tapping the steering wheel as he pulls out of the gravel parking lot, engine revving as he sped down the road.
You look over at him to see the content smile sitting pretty on his lips, his arm resting on the edge of the open window as his hand settled at the very top of the door, the other rested loosely on the wheel. That very same Zepplin song was playing on the radio that you were convinced he listens to daily, in fact, you knew he did because that’s how Dean is.
“What?” He asks, amused curiosity in his tone.
“Nothing,” you say as you look away, biting the inside of your cheek.
“The hot shot lawyer’s got nothin’ to say, I’m shocked,” he says, faux surprise coating his tone.
“Will you cool it with the lawyer talk?” You huff, staving off the anger in your words with a soft shove to his shoulder.
To be fair, he didn’t know just why it was that you were back here earlier than you should be, he was just yanking your chain like he always did. But it became abundantly clear to him that there was more to it than just a little annoyance. That, paired with the look on your face earlier made it all the more clear for him to see that.
He looked over at you with furrowed brows, the dimples by the corners of his mouth appearing as he looked at you briefly before turning his attention back to the road. He may have cracked jokes and got on your nerves just as much as you did the same to him, but he knew you more than you realized, knew when something was more than just a joke to you. You’ve got this frown that you don’t even know you have, and you bite your lip. He even notices that you tap your foot too—he noticed the little things but he won’t admit it.
His jaw clenched as he turned the radio down a little, speeding up a bit more down the open road.
You’re quick to get out when you arrive at your apartment. It was a nice little place, a house rather, one split right down the middle. You’ve got the right side and Mrs. Allen’s got the left, a sweet older lady that’s lived there far longer than you. She makes a point to tell you you’re her favorite neighbor, and she makes a point to say something about you and Dean every time she sees him that makes your eyes roll.
You knew for a fact she’d say something in the morning.
You snagged one of your bags from the trunk and he grabbed the other, slinging it over his shoulder.
“You don’t have to carry my stuff, you know. I can do it myself,” you say, but you make no effort to grab it from him.
“I know you can.”
You sigh as you fish your keys from your pocket as you continue on up the walkway and up the steps of your porch, sticking them in the door. You drop your stuff down just inside the door with a sigh, grabbing the bag from his outstretched hand before you step inside and turn the front light on.
He stuffs his hands in his pockets, shifting on his feet as the words sit on the tip of his tongue. The very words he’s been thinking about since you’d gotten upset in the car even if you wouldn’t dare to admit it.
“Good night, Dean,” you say, offering a half smile as you go to close the door.
His palm presses to the door almost before you move to close it, and he steps forward a step or two. Your brows furrow as you lean against the doorframe, watching as his mouth opens and closes a few times, and he’s lost for words for a few moments. You don’t push and you don’t pry as you stand there curiously, arms having been crossed over your chest.
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings,” he starts, hesitant and a bit quieter as he scratches the back of his neck and clears his throat. “In the car, I mean.”
You stand there, and it takes a beating silence before he meets your gaze. The sincerity in his voice isn’t something you hear all too often in your direction, having always been jokes and witty sarcasm painted over his words but this, this was a little different.
“S’okay,” you say, pushing yourself off the doorframe.
He smiles then, a soft chuckle leaving his lips as he nods. “I’ll uh, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
You nod at his words, the corner of your mouth tugging upwards. “Good night, Winchester.”
You let out the breath you’d been holding when you closed the door, back pressing to it as you tip your head back. The day you had left you more than tired, thoughts running wild with no end in sight. But the day wasn’t half bad, not really. The two of you had gotten on each other’s nerves every moment you get to do so, but maybe you missed him a little bit more than you thought. Maybe through the layers of wit and remarks there was a little part of you that missed the green eyed Winchester but you’d never admit it.
Unbeknownst to you, maybe he did too.
The rumble of his engine was clear as he pulled away and drove down the street, a huff leaving your lips as you rub your face as you lock the door behind you for the night.
Series taglist: @myloversgone @dean-is-sams-apple-pie
General taglist: @flamencodiva @stixnstripesworld @dean-is-sams-apple-pie @elegantbutedgy @humanmistakes @agalliasi @campingmonkey
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donutloverxo · 4 years
Text
Tainted
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*gifs not mine*
Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!
Note - this is inspired by a hc @sweater-daddiesdumbdork once wrote me and gave me a frigging murder kink. Life ruiner😡😡
Dividers by @whimsicalrogers
Summary - Steve saves you and plans on never letting you go again.
Warnings - 18+ only, smut(m/f), kidnappings, being held hostage, murder, blood, non descriptive violence, captain kink, slight murder kink.
Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader
Word count - 6.8k
Masterlist is linked in the bio!
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One of the most amazing thing about living with you was that Steve never had to come home to an empty house. He was now responsible for you, he’d have to shoot you a text message, he had gotten pretty good at texting, thanks to your guidance, or call you, he definitely liked calling and hearing your voice better. He’ll always be old school.
You’d get that slight waver in your voice as you tried to pretend that you weren’t sad, he could see your cute little pout through the phone. And while he would never want to cause you any sort of pain, knowing that you’d be waiting for him, that you’re missing him when he’s away, made him feel wanted.
That even someone like him deserved love and happiness and a safe, boring life. That may be there was a reason he died only to wake up again in a strange new world.
That wasn’t to say you didn’t come with your own set of challenges. You were messy if anything, leaving clutter everywhere and putting off doing your dishes and laundry for days. Maybe not the most practical but definitely the cutest roommate in the world.
He’d learn to put up with it because it was worth it. Maybe, he could even learn to 'let loose' a little as people always recommended to him.
At first, he couldn’t wait to ask you to marry him. He had even impulsively bought a ring with your birthstone, he knew you were obsessed with them and astrology and maybe even dark magic. But then you surprised him with a date to an old diner and introduced him as your boyfriend to your friends.
He liked your friends quite a lot, he couldn’t really understand what they were talking about half the time. From what he could tell - by their fascination with his muscles and all the touching and squeezing to his biceps, them wanting to hear about his life before the ice - it seemed that they liked him too.
But hearing you call him that, your guy, your boyfriend, your beau, as your friend Stacey had put it, he decided that he wasn’t quite ready to let go of this blissful courting period. He was rushing things.
He needed to live in the moment and just enjoy being your boyfriend for now, he had all the time in the world to wife you up - preferably not to late though.
He was so unbelievably happy, ecstatic to see you, to surprise you, his mission ending a week early he got home as soon as he could. He thought of maybe taking you to Vermont for the weekend, he had never been but Nat told him it’d be a nice little getaway and that you’d love it.
His wide smile slowly fade away as he looked at the state of his door - the latch broken. Forced entry. Somebody broke his door in. He pushed the door wide open and made his way in.
He knew what was to come next but he willed that thought away. Maybe you kicked it in yourself, maybe you forgot your keys. He kept telling himself that because he was terrified of thinking the alternative.
He stepped in as soon as he was able to shake himself out of his haze. Looking at the state of his, and your, apartment. A broken vase, and the coffee table smashed in.
Crouching down to take a closer look he saw some blood on the ceramic. Whoever did this to your home, better hope that it’s wasn’t yours.
He got up, directing his simmering rage towards his new mission. He didn’t panic, not yet, he couldn’t give himself that kind of luxury. His mind coming up with ten different to find you and make the bastards who did this pay.
NOBody can hurt the people he loves, especially his girl, and get away with it.
***
Your eyes fluttered open before scrunching shut to adjust to the harsh fluorescent light. You blinked, looking around you while squinting.
Some sort of empty grey room... a window to the side but it was dark outside. You dress sticking to your skin as your whole body was covered in a sheen of sweat.
Three men in a corner, one for them shouting at the others in a foreign language.
You felt a yip of pain radiating in your arms and then realised they were tied up behind you - strapped to a creaky chair.
You tried to shake free of them, by wiggling your wrists but then winced at the burn it caused, capturing the attention of your kidnappers.
One of them smiled at you, walking towards you.
“Finally awake, are we?” he asked in an abnormally chirpy way. “You were out for quiet some time. Did you sleep well?”
He squatted before you, you could see his face, his cold grey eyes betraying the warm smile that graced his lips. Many white scars littered over his jaw...
And then you remembered.
How you rushed home when you felt someone was following you. Locking the door, you tried to call Steve but couldn’t get through to him.
And then your stalker broke into your home. You tried to smash his head in with a vase but couldn’t really do any real damage. Everything was hazy after that. Maybe he drugged you - you couldn’t recall.
You exhaled shakily when you realised he was watching you both from the corner. You could never forget his dark hoodie and hair. Or fresh cut on his forehead. You had never so much as hurt a fly or even slapped anyone. How you managed to smash his head in you’ll never know.
You looked at the man before you again when you heard him calling out your name, his smile haltered for a moment as he looked back to your stalker.
“I’m sorry about that, he’s a rookie. He’ll be reprimanded soon enough. This wasn’t exactly our plan but we’ve decided to improvise.”
You tried to speak but with your throat and mouth dry and your mind in shock the words wouldn’t come out.
“Oh, that’s alright, don’t struggle. We don’t want anything to do with you, you’re just a normal plain Jane going about your life, aren’t you?”
You could only give him a weak nod, still trying your best to shake yourself free of your bounds without him noticing.
“That’s right. You haven’t done anything wrong, you don’t deserve to have anything bad happen to you, do you?”
You nodded again. Your breath hitched when he got closer to you, in your face, his hands planted on your bare thighs with your skirt pooled just below your hips.
“But we don’t always get what we deserve. You’re close to the Captain, that’s right Michael’s told me all about how taken he is with you. I mean... I never would’ve imagined Captain America would pick someone like you but to each their own,” he cupped your cheek, the cracks in his palm harsh against your soft skin.
“What do you want?” you asked, not looking away from him.
“I want justice. For things to be in the right order. You’ll have to suffer for it, but know that it’s for a good cause.”
“You’re wrong,” you shook your head, “he’ll come for me.”
“We’re counting on that,” he snickered.
You’re not sure what came over you, all you knew was that you wanted his disgusting hands off of you, “He’ll come for me, and then you’ll regret ever touching me.”
“Uh, I don’t know about this,” you pulled on a thread from your skirt with your right hand, your other hand in Steve’s as he held onto your waist, pulling you into his side. “It’ll be inside me?” you shuddered.
“Yes, but,” Bruce scratched his head, he was adorable like that. You never would’ve imagined him to be the hulk, a 'rage monster’. “it’s not as bad as you think. You won’t even feel it. All shield agents and Avengers have one. Except Thor, because that wouldn’t be of any use. The radius is only on earths surface. You would’ve thought that would be enough,” he chuckled.
You pressed your lips in a thin line, looking at the chip, smaller than an acrylic nail, watching Bruce load it up.
“I know it’s not ideal, doll. But I’ll feel much better knowing I can find you, in case something goes wrong.” He kissed your temple, as you braced yourself.
“Will it hurt?” you gulped as Bruce lined the shooter or gun, by the looks of it, to your forearm.
“Just a little. You’ll barely feel it.” He gave you a sympathetic smile.
“Look at me, pup,” Steve gripped your chin, moving your head till you looked into his blue eyes, he pressed his lips to yours, massaging your tongue with his to distract you.
“Mm,” you winced and moaned into his mouth when you felt the piercing pain. It was like getting a flu shot but you had never having been a huge fan of needles either.
He released his hold on you as Bruce worked on cleaning your the blood seeping through your pierced skin. “You did good.” Steve said.
“Do I get a sucker?” You asked Bruce and he chuckled - as if you were joking, you do not joke about candy, “No I really want one.”
“Let’s keep this between us.” Steve told you both.
“Of course,” Bruce nodded, “I can keep tracker dormant till we need it but are you sure?”
“I’m not sure who I can trust.” But he knew he could trust his teammates.
You sniffled, keeping your tears at bay because really something so little shouldn’t make you cry, rubbing your hand over your wounded bicep as Bruce handed you some gummy bears.
“They’re Tony’s. He leaves snacks everywhere, it’s annoying.”
“Thank you.” You blinked up at him and offered some to Steve.
You never thought you’d need it. Until now, you were sure your friends or your mother would notice that you’ve been gone and Steve will find out and track you down. You knew he would. He had to.
He frowned, his nails digging into your cheekbones, pluckering your lips, “Where’s all that confidence coming from?” he quirked a curious brow up, “He’ll walk right in and pay for everything he’s done,” he snorted.
“You’re way underprepared to take someone like him on,” shut up, shut up, shut up, why the fuck are you egging him on? “He’s strong, he’s a survivor.” Even without the serum, he survived an abusive household, being bullied, being sick, and you knew how protective he could be. To the point where it was downright irritating.
“We’ve got all the time in the world to prepare, you should be worrying about yourself,” he spat.
You had always been bold, even in the most inappropriate of situations. Like when you lectured a boy for over an hour on respecting boundaries for throwing spitballs at you, in kindergarten. Steve even said that he fell for that ‘spunk' in you.
‘Well-behaved women rarely make history’ your mother had told you.
And really, you liked that about yourself as well. You liked that you found a man that would encourage that side of you instead of calling you ‘difficult’ or ‘bossy’.
However, you immediately regretted everything you had said. Not because it was untrue, but because your captor took out a sharp pocket knife, a dark glint in his eyes.
“We only need you alive,” he said as you gulped, “I suppose, it wouldn’t matter if you’re missing a finger or two.”
You frantically shook your head, choking on a sob. “No,” you pleaded, “you’ll... he will find me and you will - ”
“Go to prison at best. It’s a risk we’re all willing to take,” he put the blunt end of the knife against your cheek, “We have to do something to kill the time.”
You couldn’t breath, your heart hammering in your chest, what if he doesn’t come for you? You won’t be able to do anything about it. It wasn’t like you could protect yourself, at least in this situation, all you could do was wait for him.
You shut your eyes, and braced yourself for the pain. Except... it never came, you simply heard someone fall down, some sort of clattering sound.
Upon opening your eyes you saw one of his friends face down before your in the corner, the other guy, your lovely stalker, drawing out his gun, looking at the only window to your left. You swore you a saw a glimpse of a flying disk knocking your stalker out.
The man before you cursed under his breath, “Get. Up. Come on!” he ordered.
“Yeah, if I could do that I probably would’ve,” you snarked, still trying to get your aching wrists free.
You barely even registered - who could only be your Captain - sneaking up behind him, snapping his neck with his hands in a matter of seconds. He collapsed on the ground and you could finally see Steve.
His clenched jaw and cold eyes softened up on seeing you, you couldn’t help but let out a sob as you realised you were going to be free.
“You’re okay, sweetheart, it’s okay,” he soothed you, kissing your forehead before swiftly free your hands.
You stood up on wobbly legs, holding onto his arms for support, “Steve,” you breathed out, “you came for me.”
“Of course I did,” he sighed, gently pushing your face against his chest as he hugged you close to him. “As if I’d ever abandon you,” he smoothed a hand over your back and decided to not dwell on your comment. This wasn’t about him, you were in shock.
“I was so scared,” you sniffled, “he said, he - ” you couldn’t even finish your sentence as you broke down in a fit of sobs and hiccups.
“You’re safe now,” he promised.
“You - did you kill him?” you pushed away from him to look up at his face so you could take him in.
You had never seen him in his uniform. Only ever seeing him on the news but he had his cowl on and a suit that was much more on brand for ‘Captain America’ than the darker one he had on now. It made him look bigger - if that was even possible. Bigger than the shield now strapped to his back.
His usually clean shaven face had the faintest shadow to it while his hair was slicked back. He looked beautiful, so soft and innocent, definitely not someone who’s capable of hurting anyone.
“He hurt you,” he replied, bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing your bruised wrists, “and so many others, he got what was coming to him.”
“You knew him?”
“Yes. He got away the last time we tried to catch him - but we don’t have to talk about that right now. Are you hurt anywhere else?”
You shook your head, “No, I’m just thirsty and I really want to lay down,” you murmured, resting your head on the star in the middle of his chest.
He pressed a hand to his ear, letting his team know that he had found you. You vaguely saw agents clad in black gear storm the room.
“We did a sweep of the place. No one else is here,” Natasha said. “How you doing?” and then frowned when you didn’t respond.
“She’s tired. It’s okay, love,” he kissed your temple, snaking a hand under your knees and picking you up with ease.
You weakly nodded, wrapping your hands around his neck, glad to be babied by him because you didn’t have the strength to stand.
“They didn’t give you anything to eat?” Nat scoffed as you shook your head.
“How long have I been here?” you looked at Steve, struggling to stay awake.
“A day and a half. We’ll get you fixed up,” he swore, carrying you towards the quinget.
“Where are we?” you nuzzled your nose against the rough kevlar of his suit.
“Bermuda,” he said.
“Oo, I’ve always wanted to come here... just maybe not like this,” you chuckled but Steve didn’t find it all that amusing. You cupped his cheek in your palm, hoping to maybe calm him down a bit before falling asleep.
***
You vaguely heard a familiar voice calling out your name, you’d recognise it anywhere, it was one of your favorites, one you’d known your entire life.
“Mom?” you muttered, opening your eyes and looking around the room to look for her. You smiled when you saw her sitting on a chair just beside your bed, the faint, annoying beeping told you that you were probably in a hospital.
“Hey there, honey,” she smiled back at you, her eyes misty as she pressed her lips to your cheek. “Do you have any idea how much you scared me?”
“I’m sorry,” you tried to sit up as she fluffed your pillow up to support you. “I was... um... kidnapped.” Saying it out loud made it feel so ridiculous. Never in your wildest dreams would you have thought.
“Yes, Steve filled us in on everything. So, Captain America, huh?” she raised her brows.
“Yeah,” you chuckled nervously. Doing a once over to your large, mostly white room to look for him. He wouldn’t just up and leave you, would he?
“How long has it been going on?” she asked.
“Um, three or four months?” you winced when you realised just how much trouble you were in.
“And, you live with him. Linda filled us in on everything. You’re quitting your job too now.”
“It’s - it’s not as bad as it sounds...”
“Never mind that, you need to rest. Then you won’t have to worry about all this. I’m taking you home with me. And you’re never coming back here again.”
“What? No! I still have over two years of school left.”
“You can do it online! You can find just as a good a job in Queens.”
“No! I’m not coming,” you whined.
“Well, you’re not living with a man you barely know either.”
You were interrupted by a knock on the door. A doctor entering, apologising for disturbing you and Steve right behind her. He still hadn’t changed out of his suit.
He stood at the end of your bed, squeezing your foot to let you know he was there for you as your mother glared daggers at him.
“Looks like you’re doing good. Blood sugars back to normal as well...” the doctor said, “You’re free to go home.”
“Really?” you smiled. So done with everything. Sleeping in your own bed sounded like heaven.
“Yes, let us know if you need anything.” She looked over your chart again and then left.
“Good then, you can come home now.”
“No! I’m going to my apartment in Manhattan, the one I share with Steve.” You rolled your eyes. Pleading Steve to back you up with your eyes.
He cleared his throat, “Um, ma'am, you can come stay with us, if you like.”
He held your mothers gaze, to let her know that he was serious and earnest.
He knew he wasn’t perfect by any means. He had a million flaws and cuts that ran deeper than anybody would ever know but he always thought, or maybe arrogantly assumed, that if nothing else he was someone ‘you take home to mama’ as Clint had once put it. He thought that your parents, like most, would like him. That he’d easily get their blessing to be with their daughter. He was known to be America’s golden boy after all.
But your mother had ripped him a new one as soon as she saw him. Accusing him of abusing his power to woo you. That you were here because of him. That he’s not worthy of you.
And all he could do was stand there and take it because everything she had said was the truth. He didn’t deserve you, you were captured and possibly traumatised because of him.
At the same time, he couldn’t just let you go. Not till he gets to the bottom of who had hurt you and makes sure that you’re safe from now on.
“No, thank you.” She scoffed, looking back at you and shaking her head. “What are you doing with your life?”
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes but being with Steve definitely isn’t one,” you looked over to him, he looked just as tired as you, “I just want to go home. My home with Steve.”
“Fine, I’ve always let you make your own decisions.” she sighed, finally giving in.
“And I’ve never disappointed you.”
“That’s debatable,” she snorted, “I’ll come check on you tomorrow then. Maybe send me your address. You know? Something you should’ve done months ago.” She returned to glaring at Steve.
“I’ve only been living with him for a month!” you tried to defend yourself.
***
“I can take off my own clothes, Stevie,” you giggled, him kneeling before you to help you out of the sweets the med bay gave you. Your dress was dirty and ragged now. “I really liked that dress though. I don’t have many like it. You think we can get it back?”
“Maybe, I’ll see what I can do, doll,” he kissed your bare thigh before rolling your panties down your legs.
“You’re kinda dirty too,” you remarked, sniffing him. He didn’t smell bad, as if Steve would ever smell bad to you. Just a bit of gunpowder, like that of firecrackers, a bit pungent instead of his normal piney and woodsy scent.
“Thank you,” he deadpanned before cracking a smile, “I was just excited to see you. Or I would’ve showered before coming home and then I didn’t get a chance to.”
He worked on unbuttoning your shirt He insisted on you getting a button up instead of a t-shirt considering how sore your arms were from being toed up for so long. Tied up... like an animal.
“Hey,” you whispered softly, caressing his cheek, “come back to me.”
“Sorry, I’m just... I don’t know,” he shook his head. He couldn’t let you know the guilt and despair he felt, you’d end up comforting him instead of the other way around. “It’s just been a long day.”
“Yeah. Still can’t believe any of this was real.” Running your hands up and down his suit, the feel of the material almost soothing to touch. “You wanna shower with me?”
“Don’t know, doll. That showers pretty small.”
He did have a pretty generous salary but opted to live in a more modest apartment, he never took more than he needed anyway, with a small shower. Not too small, but definitely not big enough for you both.
“We’ll make do, come on. I’ll make you squeaky clean.”
He took over ten minutes to get rid of the suit. You watched intently as he removed more latches than you could count.
“Is it bulletproof?” you wanted to know.
“Yes. But probably not as good as a vest. I’ve never been shot so I wouldn’t know.” He answered, taking off his undershirt.
“It’s funny because I always thought y’all were naked under there,” you chuckled, and then your jaw dropped as he took off his briefs.
You had never seen his cock while it was soft before. He was always more than excited when you got to him. It was amazing how pretty he looked either way.
“You and so many other people,” he almost shuddered at the thought of having been asked the same question so many times.
After making sure the water was hot enough, you both stood under it.
You took some of the lavender wash you had bought from lush, squeezing it on your sponge. Steve, bless him, was amazing at so many things. Shopping - it seemed was not one of them. All he had in his bathroom was a bar of soap, one toothbrush and a vintage straight razor.
Which just won’t do for you, so you took it upon yourself to stock the whole place up with your favorite stuff. The lavender being Steve’s favorite, you remembered how flustered you got when he told you that you smelled good. And then tried to explain that you always smell good while turning redder than a tomato.
You did his front, asking him to bent his neck a bit so you could wash his hair because he was almost a foot taller than you. You were about to do his legs, you’d take any excuse to feel up his thick thighs but he told you he’d do the rest himself.
Taking the sponge from you, he ran it under some water, working on cleaning you thoroughly. Under your arms, your breasts, your stomach, between your legs and then your legs.
You were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen - he knew that since the moment he had met you. But something about washing you up like that felt so intimate even though there was nothing erotic about it.
After washing you thoroughly he wrapped you up in a towel, “My cute lil' burrito,” he booped your nose.
You puffed your cheeks out, you weren’t sure if you liked that nickname. Observing just how gentle he was with you, helping you into a cotton nightie, as opposed to drying himself off hastily and carelessly before pulling some sweats and briefs on.
“Don’t wear a shirt,” you pleaded, he looked amazing shirtless, but that wasn’t the only reason, you really liked feeling his skin on hours, pressing kissing on his perfect, smooth, golden skin, ”pretty please.” Right now, he’d give you anything you wanted and you intended on milking that as much as you can.
“Alright, doll,” he replied, pulling you up in his arms again as if you were his bride, as you giggled so sweetly, “now, what would you like to eat? No take out, it has to be healthy. And remember my culinary skills are limited,” he said, carrying you to the living room and putting you on the couch as he started working in the kitchen.
“Stevie, I’m not hungry. Well, that’s not true, I’d like some ice cream,” fluttering your lashes at him, “Mint chocolate chip? I’m pretty sure we have some.”
“Of course, puppy,” you smiled, at the prospect of getting a sweet treat and the nickname, “as soon as you eat something.” He added and you huffed in annoyance.
He whipped up a sandwich for you, two for him because he was starving, some peach iced tea so you wouldn’t eat his ear off while complaining.
You only picked at your food, giving more than half of it to him. You truly didn’t feel like eating, instead craving some cuddles with him.
You tried striking up a conversation with him multiple times. Not because you didn’t like silence. You did when it came to him, you could go hours without talking and it would feel so serene and perfect. You never had to talk just for the sake of it when you were with him.
But you had come to read Steve pretty well. He seemed distant and closed off. The air around you both thick with tension. You tried to ease it while telling him about how brave you were while quitting and didn’t cry at all, how Tony dropped by and was apparently stalking you - which was a bad idea because it seemed to make him angry, clench his jaw tight, his brows furrowed as he placed your plates in the sink.
Unsure if you had done something wrong or were mean to Tony, who was technically his boss, you twiddled with your fingers, “Um... I - I’m sorry,” you stuttered, trying to hold back tears. Spending the night at your mom’s house sounded like the better choice now.
“Hm?” he looked back at you, he could do the dishes tomorrow, “what for?”
“I shouldn’t have been snarky with Tony. I know he’s your boss and all that but he’s kinda cocky... And I got really mad when I found out he did like a ‘background check' on me. I mean I get why he would but still. I can apologize to him.”
“No no,” he shook his head, kneeling before you, taking your hands in his, “you misunderstood, love. I’m not mad at you, I could never REALLY be mad at you. It’s Tony I’m angry with, he went behind my back, ambushed you at work.”
“To be fair, you did the same when you asked me out,” you snickered as a blush crept up his neck.
“Right.” He finally cracked a genuine smile placing feather light kisses on your knuckles and the to the bandages on your hands.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” you asked, running your hands through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly with your nails.
“It’s probably better if we don’t talk about it,” he said, laying his head on your lap. Your slight scratching massaging his never-resting head.
“I think we should. My mom said I don’t know you. And to some extent, she is right. I don’t. Maybe I’m just imagining things but... sometimes it feels like you’re holding back.”
He gathered enough courage to look up at you, your almond shaped eyes looking down at his and he knew that he could talk to you about anything. He did. But there will always be that little voice that tells him that he shouldn’t. He would only trouble you.
“Don’t you pride yourself on being honest?” you caressed his scratchy cheek.
He snorted. He really was dense enough to think he was the perfect son-in-law package.
“I just, the way you looked at me, when I killed that man, I’m afraid that you’re scared of me now. That’s the last thing I want. It’s my worst nightmare really.” He leant into your touch.
“Steve, that wasn’t because I’m scare of you. It was because I’m fond of you. You were so strong and brave and you saved me. I liked being the damsel in distress more than I thought,” He chuckled at that, his doubts a bit relieved, “that’s... not all though.” You murmured.
“What is it?” he wanted to know.
“You, um, the fact that you would do that for me... it’s just. I never thought anyone would love me that much.”
“I only regret doing it in front of you. I’m sorry you had to see that or go through any of that.”
“I’m not a child, Steve,” you rolled your eyes.
“Of course not, but you’re you. You’re pure and an angel. I - I’m tainted - tainted by blood, tainted by war - ”
“Steve, that’s not true. You’re not, you’re the pure-est person I know. War and - that doesn’t define you.”
“You wouldn’t feel that way if you knew about all the things I have done, sweetheart.” The sweet nickname he had for you, which now he used in a patronising tone, “I let my best friend die. And I couldn’t do anything about it.”
“What’re you talking about?” you frowned. You heard about Bucky from him and your history textbooks but you don’t remember reading anything like that.
“It’s... something I’m not ready to get into.” He put his forehead on your knee. He knew you loved him but there was only so much baggage you would be willing to accept.
“Okay. You can take your time and tell me if and when you’re ready, baby.” You went back to idly playing with his, “But I need you to know that I love you. Nothing you could ever say will change that. To think that... for a second I thought that you wouldn’t come for me.”
He snapped his head back up, “What?”
“I thought, that you’d be busy with your mission. You wouldn’t even find out I was missing or... you just wouldn’t care enough to come yourself. I mean, I knew you would come, obviously. But you have other more important work...”
“No,” he shook his head, “How could you ever think anything's more important to me than you and your life?”
“Yeah, I was being stupid.”
“You can be a bit silly sometimes, doll.” He nuzzled your tummy, making you giggle. “I’m never letting you out of my sight again. I was so scared I’d never see you again,” he confessed against your nightgown.
“That’d be a bit hard to do. Keeping an eye on me like that. But if it means I get to spend more time with you then I’m down.”
You convinced Steve to let you have some ice cream. He only let you have half a scope, telling you that you’d have trouble sleeping otherwise.
“I’ve been sleeping for most of the last two days.” You tried to argue but it was hard to change his mind once he had it set on something.
You both brushed your teeth together and he stared at you as you went about your night-time skincare routine.
Cleanse, serum, moisturize, sleep mask.
All he did was wash his face and he still looked fucking perfect.
He stayed true to his word, sticking by your side to the point where you had to kick him outside to have some privacy to pee in peace. He was right there waiting for you when you opened the door.
Finally, you were in your cosy bed. Light’s off and cuddled tight with your boyfriend. Your stuffed unicorn and your Captain America plushie to your other side.
With your legs tangled together, you rubbed your feet up and down his legs. Which were unfortunately covered with his sweats.
“Steve,” you whined.
“Yes?”
“Take off these damn pants. They’re hurting my skin. So friggin' prickly.”
“Sorry, doll. I know how precious your skin is.” He sounded like he was mocking you but he followed, pushing his pants away.
“Good?” he asked holding you close to him again.
“Mm-hm,” you hummed against his naked chest. “Let’s sleep like this everyday, please.”
“Sure.” He replied. He liked being a ‘human furnace' for you.
He wasn’t going to fall asleep. Not after everything that happened. He hadn’t slept well in the past week but he was afraid that if he’d shut his eyes for a single moment and you’d be gone. This time, he wouldn’t be lucky enough to find you.
He hadn’t been to crunch or even prayed in a while. Losing his faith a long time ago after all the terrible things he had seen. But he had prayed when he came back found his home to be wreck. He prayed that you’d come back to him because there were some things he just could not control. Nobody could.
After a while he lowly whispered your name. “Are you awake?” he asked.
It was silly but he missed you. Even though you were laying right next to him in his arms - the safest place you could be.
“Yeah. I can’t sleep. Even though I’m so tired.” You yawned. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure?” You snorted. “You’re not a good liar, Steven.”
“Can I ask you something? And you can say no if you want I won’t mind.”
“Sure, shoot.”
“Can I, um, have you? I just need to feel you, sweetheart. After everything – I need to know you’re really here.” he was cut off by your lips crashing on his.
You winced when your teeth clamped together but he soothed your upper lip by nipping at it with his tongue.
“Steve,” you panted as he broke awake, shifting under the sheets and pushing the helm of your gown up.
He placed quick open mouthed kisses all over your thighs, over your stretch marks, spreading your thighs further to accommodate his broad shoulders, he made sure to check in with you again.
All you did was push his head towards your heat, begging him to eat your pussy - as if he needed to be told twice.
Swirling and spreading your glistening juices of arousal around your weeping lips, he dove in for his prize. Drawing patterns on your bundle of nerves before sucking at it harshly, he plunged his tongue inside. Lacing his fingers with yours and pinning your hands down by your hips.
You kept desperately pushing your hips up, wanting more. Arching your back up and holding onto his hands tightly as he lightly grazed his teeth over your clit.
“Say my name, sweetheart,” he demanded against your heat, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure up your spine.
Your orgasm washing over you in waves, electrifying every nerve in your body as you clamped your legs around his head, holding onto him.
He kept lapping you up through it, taking everything you’d give him.
He loved worshipping you - spending as much time as he could between your legs - because you were his goddess but right now, he just needed to feel you.
He climbed up the bed, hovering over you, he pushed two thick fingers inside you mouth till the second knuckle.
“Get them nice and wet, doll.” He instructed.
You moaned around him, making loud suckling noises, “Yesh, Captain,” it came out muffled, what with your mouth full.
“Captain?” he smirked. You had only ever called him that as a joke, he never knew being called that in a salacious way could stroke a fire inside him. Making him them painfully hard in the confines of his tight briefs. He pulled his fingers out of you, pushing his hand down till it was between your legs. Nudging your entrance with them.
“Sorry, it slipped out.” You were too unabashed to feel guilty. 
He scoffed, “Say it again.” 
Pushing his fingers inside you. Pumping them at a fast pace before you even had a second to think. It was desperate and fast so unlike how it is usually between you both. He needed to be inside you but your needs would always come before his. 
“Captain,” you mewled, chewing on your lower lip and holding onto his face. You couldn’t see him clearly in the dark but you still need to look at him. “I told them my Captain would come for me. And you did...” he swallowed your screams with his mouth as you clenched around his fingers. 
“That’s right,” he groaned, sucking your slick off of his fingers, “I’ll always protect you. I’ll do anything for you.” 
Shaky fingers working on taking his cock out of the hard confines of his uncomfortable underwear. He didn’t waste a single second before sinking inside you, as deep as he could. He moaned into your neck, “So fucking tight, doll. Like you were made for me,” he bit your neck. 
Drawing his hips back he thrusted inside you, brushing against your g-spot, making you keen. 
He stopped immediately, propping himself up on his elbows he looked down at your hooded eyes. “You alright, sweetheart?”
You nodded, “Yes, it’s just so good,” as if to prove it you clenched around his length, to make him feel all of you just as he was doing to you. 
He groaned at that, his balls already tightening, aching for release, “What’s the safe word?” 
“Mm... buttercream.”
“That’s right, good girl,” he cooed as you whimpered at his praise as he withdrew his hips again, loving you in a slow soft way. 
Pushing your gown up till it was above your breasts - he didn’t really have the patience to properly take it off. He sucked a spot just above your breast, so you’d remember his love every time you looked at it. Your nipples pebbled and goose bumps painted your skin, with your cunt tight around him he knew you were close. 
Wrapping his mouth around one bud, He pulled and pinched at the other. He stopped his ministrations, he needed to look at you as you climaxed. To know that you needed him at least half as much as he needed you. 
Your face scrunched up as you met your bliss, your nails drawing blood from shoulders - not that he cared in the slightest. 
His hips retracting and thrusting as he lost all sense of rhythm and finesse chasing his end as you laid boneless beneath him. He kept fucking into you, filling you to the brim. 
He heaved above you, making sure not to collapse on top of you. Reluctantly he pulled himself out of you. 
Pulling you close to him, his lips pressed up against the crown of your head, he whispered sweet nothings to you. “My brave girl.” He kissed the tip of your nose. “You’re so strong, sweetheart.”
“Stronger than the hulk?”
“Yes, definitely,” he replied, tracing the bandages wrapped around your wrists. “Now try to get some sleep.”
“Oh, I’ll sleep alright. Thanks to you.” You giggled. 
***
tags will be in the reblog.
this was my longest fic!i know it wasnt the best conclusion to something i drew outover 4 chapters but its the best i could do. sorry for weird format tumblrs mad i had too much fun lol. comments and reblogs are really appreciated!!
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“This is killing me” Part Twelve - Spencer Reid x female reader
Summary : You’re working for the BAU, and Dr Spencer Reid is your best friend on the  team. Actually, he’s your best friend, pErIoD. The thing is, you’re not supposed to feel that way about your  best friend. He makes you feel some type of way, everyone in the  team   can see it, except you and him.
In the previous chapter, you put all of your focus on a new case involving a disorganized unsub, with an obsession with conspiracy theories and the existence of “lizard people” within our society. Spencer tried to tell you something about his date with officer Maggie Rowe, and Derek even tried to encourage you to listen to what he had to say. In addition to everything, you overheard a conversation between Spence and Maggie, that left you dubious : the both of them kissed, but it didn’t seem like things were going well between them...
You can find all the previous chapters here.
Chapter Summary : Your hard work has paid off. On the trip back to Quantico though, you and Spencer finally have the most honest conversation you’ve had so far. Your relationship takes a new turn, but things can never go too smoothly between the two of you. Still, after some clarification from Derek, hope starts to creep in...
TW : Violence, death, mental illness, drug use, conspiracy theories, exhaustion, anxiety. It’s fluffy, it’s angsty, it’s romantic, it’s clumsy, the tension is crazy. We’re getting there, people. Slowly but surely.
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(Not my GIF)
You caught the unsub in a stupid way, really. He just killed at the wrong place, at the wrong time. Sometimes it happened. You could work as hard as you wanted, know the killer better than yourself... they would just leave one body, in a way that was even more sloppy than the others, and you could catch your man. One mistake, and that was it. It was a good thing, of course, but in situations like this, you never knew what the unsub's next move was going to be. They didn't even know it, until they did it. Your unsub fit in every category of an unorganized killer : below average intelligence, check. Socially inadequate, check. Worked an ungrateful job near the crime scenes, check. Living alone, check. Check, check, check. Your profile, your whole theory on his obsession with lizard people : check. You knew you would have caught him one way or another, as Spencer had managed to narrow down the places where the unsub could have been living, given the places of the last murders. But you caught him thanks to dumb luck. Gabriel Calahan was just a paranoid schizophrenic, whose mental illness had been exacerbated with severe drug use as a teenager. He believed some higher power was ordering him to uncover the truth about those controlling reptilians, who were going to lead us into chaos.
///
On the jet back to Quantico, you sat alone. You needed some peace and quiet. You were exhausted. You really worked your ass off on this case. Derek seemed a bit worried about you, while Hotch and Prentiss were pretty happy with your efforts. Spencer seemed restless, and the bags under his eyes were even darker than usual. His mind was a wonder that worked in mysterious ways, but you could tell he was just really agitated these days. Not telling you what he wanted to tell you, probably took more efforts and energy from him than an average person could possibly understand. You wanted him to go into a peaceful sleep, to forget about what was troubling him. Even in times like this, you just wanted him to be okay. Things were probably complicated for him right now. You somehow managed to get over the fact that he kissed Maggie, and tried to focus on the rest of the chat. It was wrong to listen to people's private conversations, and you lacked context. What they were talking about could mean a hundred different things, and you would know soon enough anyway. The rest of the team was slowly drifting off to sleep, and you were trying to as well, but you could feel Spencer nervously glance at you pretty regularly. At some point, you just gave up, let out a deep sigh, opened your eyes, and motioned him to come join you on the couch.
He sat heavily next to you. You just stayed together in silence for a moment. You didn't want him to start to talk. Because that would be it. You would be having the conversation you had been dreading for a while. Eventually, he had to start talking, and you felt your heart beating like crazy in your chest. "Go ahead Spence, break my heart." was all you could think about. Instead...
"Listen y/n, I know this isn't ideal. But... you have been avoiding me for a while now and... I don't even know if you want me in your life or not anymore. I just... we texted over the holidays and everything, and we hugged like nothing happened when we got back to work but... Things aren't... Things have been weird for a while now, and... I hate it. I hate to see us drift apart like this." You were listening to every single word that was coming out of his mouth as carefully as you could, like someone waiting for their verdict at court. You felt like you were going to get the death penalty somehow. He paused, before starting to talk again. "I don't know what to think anymore. I've been trying to understand, but it seems like my brain... can't function properly when it comes to you." You were going to die from a heart attack, right here and there. On the outside, you tried to put on your best poker face, but hearing Spencer utter those words made your eyes betray you, you were sure of it. You felt exactly like this when it came to him too. How could two people feel things so similarly, and still not understand one another ? He looked so nervous, as he was looking for the right words to say exactly what his heart had been meaning to tell you. " I guess I'm just... I think... Jesus, why is this so complicated ? Just... say something, y/n. Anything."
You honestly didn't know what to say. He said so much and so little at the same time. What was there for you to say ?
"I... I don't know what you want from me Spence... I know things have been weird, and I'm... I'm sorry, okay ? I've been acting strange for the past couple of months, I know it. I just... Of course I want you in my life. And I hate that we don't even know how to talk to each other anymore... You said you wanted to talk about your date ? What does it have to do with anything ?" You tried the innocent card, but Spencer wasn't biting. "Come on y/n... no more mind games. I was trying to get there slowly but... You're not giving me much of an alternative, are you ?" He stared at you, more directly than he had in a while. You hadn't noticed, but he got closer too. You had to fight the urge to drag his face to yours to kiss him feverishly. He was so right, your minds just wouldn't work properly around each other. Something about the way you were looking at him might have given him some newly found determination, because he carried on without letting you out of his sight at any moment, shifting his gaze between your tired eyes and your slightly parted lips. The nervousness was still there, but he was going to say whatever it was he wanted to say, no matter the consequences now.
"As you know, I went on a date with Maggie. It was great. I wanted to have a good time with her. I really did. Everything worked out just fine. It was almost too cliche, how smoothly the evening went." You felt your heart sink in your chest. Yup, there it was, you thought. The end of all hope. "She was wearing this really pretty red dress, and at first, all I could think about was how you have a really pretty red dress too, that you don't put on nearly as often as you should. But then I thought, hey, you're on a date with her, with Maggie. Y/n even seemed happy for you, even though you thought she kind of hated her. So focus on her, focus on Maggie. And I did. I tried." He paused, looking for something in your eyes. Were you supposed to understand where he was getting at with this story ? "I... we kissed. Okay ? I kissed her, after I walked her back home. It was really romantic. The sky was filled with stars, and there was a nice little breeze... I- It was perfect." You couldn't help it, but you wanted to cry. You felt like you couldn't breathe anymore. Why was he telling you this ? It took eveything you had in you to keep listening to him as calmly as possible. "And then... I don't know why, I just... I couldn't... You're not supposed to think so much, when you're kissing someone, are you ? It just makes sense, and you go with the flow. And so... I thought I could kiss her, touch her, and hold her. I wanted to try to take my mind off of... things. But it felt... wrong ? It just felt weird, like something wasn't... what it was supposed to be ?" And then, the hope subtly came back.
You saw how hard it was for him to express himself. What was the point of all of this ? What was he really saying ? You wanted to scream that question, to just demand an answer from him. Your emotions were all over the place. He had a date with Maggie. It was perfect. She was wearing a little red dress, that looked like the one you put on, when you went out of your way to impress him when you went out sometimes. But he had a hard time focusing on the present moment, even as he kissed her, because... ? "What are you saying Spence ?" you murmured as softly as you could, contrasting with the inner turmoil you were facing. He tilted his head to the side, looking almost desperate, silently asking with his eyes why you couldn't understand the true meaning of what he was trying to say.
Behind you, you felt Hotch and JJ move in their seat. The jet was almost back at Quantico. Spencer saw them, and you saw him slouch a little. He looked more exhausted than ever. The determination in his eyes seemed to have abandoned him. "Nothing, y/n. Forget it. I had a date with Maggie, we kissed, but it didn't work out in the end. It's okay. It doesn't matter now." It mattered. You saw how much the whole conversation meant to him. You thought you could understand now. You felt like it was starting to make sense. But you had to hear him say it, otherwise you would never truly believe it. "Spence..." you tried to call, as he stood up. "We're nearly home, and we need some rest. I'm gonna get my things now."
When the jet landed, Spencer barely acknowledged your presence. He went back home as quietly as possible, without letting anyone know he was leaving. Derek helped you with your luggage "You look like you've seen a ghost. I don't understand, didn't he tell you about his date with Maggie ?" You hesitated : "He tried... I don't really know what he was trying to say." He gave you a soft smile and answered "Yes you do y/n. Come on, let me drive you home."
The ride home was pretty quiet. You were both tired. When you got there, Morgan and you sat in silence for a moment, before he told you : "Listen, I know me and Garcia have done enough already when it comes to the two of you. I don't want to overstep on your boundaries. But I feel like you guys just need a little extra push, otherwise it'll take ages." You laughed a little "I thought you said we were going to find our way back to each other at one point or another, no matter how much time it would take ?" He chuckled "Yeah yeah, I know what I said, but listen... what I understood from this entire situation, is that kissing that woman made him realise just how much he wanted you. The only problem with her, no matter how perfect the whole date was, was that she wasn't you. He thought he could be with someone else, he thought he could give her a chance. After all, you showed him you supported his decision, thumbs up and all that bullshit, right ? He kissed her, felt like shit, tried to kiss her some more to get over that weird feeling, started to think about you, got into it, but then she said something, and that threw him off." You were raising your eyebrows at him, questioning what he was reporting. "Hey, me and pretty boy talk a lot, alright ? And what he doesn't tell me, I understand. I see right through him. The rest is just me being good at my job. The only way the kiss kind of worked, was if he was thinking about you. Trust me, I know that. I've been there. You can try and pretend for a little while, until it doesn't work anymore, and you end up feeling like shit because the poor girl doesn't deserve that." You just stayed there, numb with fatigue and the overwhelming nature of what Derek was telling you. You told him about the conversation you overheard between the two of them "I think she was calling him to try and understand why it didn't work out between them, even after that perfect date. Knowing Spencer, he didn't want to hurt her feelings, and he didn't tell her what was really going on." It wasn't like you did either. What WAS really going on ? Morgan answered "Yeah, he vaguely told me about it. My guess ? She knows it's about you. She just needed to hear him say it. Just like you do. But deep down, you know what this all means. You know what's going on." After a little moment, you admitted "You're right. And I knew what he was trying to say, but I just... froze. I can't really... fully comprehend any of it right now. I think I just need some sleep." You paused, before breathing out with a soft smile :  "He tried... he really did..." Morgan answered "Now it's your time to try, pretty lady." You smiled at him, not entirely sure whether that whole conversation was a dream or not, and headed back home to get some restorative sleep.
Chapter Thirteen is here !
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tyongxnct · 3 years
Text
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒂𝒚 𝑰 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒀𝒐𝒖 - 𝑳𝒆𝒆 𝑱𝒆𝒏𝒐
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pairing: Jaemin x reader, Jeno x reader
special guest: /
summary: Jaemin was everyone’s dream. He was the perfect boyfriend, someone you’d want to introduce to your parents. Your friends were jealous but they didn’t understand you. They didn’t understand how bad you felt in your relationship with Jaemin. They didn’t understand that you missed Jeno. Even thought Jaemin was perfect, you missed Jeno. You missed his love, you missed the fights and you missed making up with him. Your heart will always belong to Lee Jeno.
song: the way I loved you - Taylor Swift
genre: exes-to-lovers!au, angst
warnings: mention of sex, this is a SEQUEL to my story WE DON’T TALK ANYMORE
word count: 3.7k
A/N: thank you for resquesting this song! I hope you enjoy this sequel of we don’t talk anymore 💖💖
taglist: @aesthetichrj​ @bvbyxuxi
this is fiction!​​
© tyongxnct on all platforms
He is sensible and So incredible and All my single friends are jealous He says everything I need to hear And it's like I couldn't ask for anything better
He opens up my door And I get into his car And he says, "you look beautiful tonight" And I feel perfectly fine
Your relationship with Jaemin was great. No, it was perfect. He was perfect. Jaemin was the perfect boyfriend, everyone’s dream. The way he cared for you, the way he was always there for you, everyone you knew was jealous of your perfect relationship with Jaemin.
You understood them. Who wouldn’t want a boyfriend who was an absolute gentleman, your parents loved him and he was an incredibly good friend. And he was your boyfriend. He was yours, you were his.
Perfect, right?
Jaemin took you on dates at least four times every week, he bought you flowers every time, even though you told him not to, because you had no space in your apartment anymore and the poor flowers died because you couldn’t keep them alive, you were always bad with flowers and plants.
He didn’t care, he wanted to shower you with flowers, chocolate, presents, kisses, and hugs. Jaemin wanted to buy you the world, he wanted to give you everything and so much more, you deserved it so much in his eyes, all of the love he could give to you, you deserved it.
Another day another date.
Jaemin picked you up and he couldn’t take his eyes away from you, he never could.
“Babe you look absolutely gorgeous tonight. No scratch that, you look gorgeous every night. Are you sure you are human?”
And the whole night he kept on complimenting you, at first your heart fluttered and you got shy and happy. But after months of hearing the same things over and over again, you didn’t feel special anymore. You didn’t feel like wearing something pretty, he was going to tell you how gorgeous you looked anyways.
The worst part was when he told you how perfect you were on your period, you almost exploded. You were so angry, you felt so disgusting and ugly and he kept on telling you that you were perfect.
You didn’t feel like it and you knew that you looked like a witch with your messy bun, sweatpants, and your hoodie. Your mouth covered in chocolate, you felt like absolute shit, and he was there standing and telling you that you looked perfect.
But you didn’t want to feel perfect every single day.
It sound weird but it’s exhausting.
You didn’t want to hear those compliments every second of your day, you wanted to feel special but you didn’t feel special anymore.
And that was your breaking point.
You loved Jaemin, you were happy with him, you never fought, you never had a disagreement, he always agreed with you on anything. It was almost like Jaemin had no opinion.
“Where do you want to go tonight?” he asked you as he smiled brightly at you.
“I don’t care. Can’t you choose for once?” you watched the cars driving past you.
“Babe, you know that I eat everything, I’m fine with anything you want.”
“McDonald’s.” you just wanted your fries and go home.
“McDonald’s? But it’s date night babe?”
“Then choose yourself! You asked me and I gave you an answer!” you blurred out without thinking. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell-“
“You’re right though babe, McDonald’s it is!” he was still smiling at you even though you just yelled at him?
Sometimes you wished he would just scream at you and get angry, hell you would thank him for screaming at you, but he never raised his voice at you. Never.
You ate silently your burger and Jaemin held your hair back. “You eat like a little baby.” He giggled.
You ignored him.
“Babe you spilled some sauce on your hoodie.”
“Love, are you still hungry? Do you want me to get you a happy meal?”
“My pretty baby looks so cute with sauce on her lips.”
You were too tired to think of ways to stop him from babying you. You ignored him the whole way back to your apartment but he kept on talking and talking. You shouldn’t be bored, but you were. You were so tired of the same stories and words. You didn’t even notice that you fell asleep until Jaemin softly woke you up. Without giving him a goodbye kiss or asking him to come up, you just said bye and left his car.
You couldn’t really talk to your friends about your situation with Jaemin. They looked at you as if you were a mad woman.
“Are you crazy? Jaemin is a sweetheart, he is so handsome and a gentleman. How could you get bored? I could listen to him all day long.” Your friend said.
“Why don’t you date him then?” you hissed at her, you were annoyed that she spoke so highly about your boyfriend, back in the days, when you were with Jeno, she also tried to get into his pants but Jeno was always faithful to you.
“Honey! I don’t mean it like that, I mean, did you forget how Jeno treated you? Look at Jaemin, he treats you like a queen, he loves you so much. I’d kill to get a boyfriend like him.”
Your friends kept talking about how perfect Jaemin is and you were just sitting there with them, trying so hard not to explode. They didn’t understand you, nobody did. Jaemin is perfect, you know that, but your heart doesn’t want perfect.
But I miss screaming and fighting And kissing in the rain And it's 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name You're so in love that you act insane And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone It's a roller-coaster kinda rush And I never knew I could feel that much And that's the way I loved you
You watched Jaemin sleep next to you. His pretty face looked beautiful in the moonlight. Everything about Jaemin was beautiful and great, but your mind was still on something else.
Or on someone else.
You turned your back to him, you felt ashamed that you thought of another man while your boyfriend was right next to you, but no matter how hard you to tried to push him off your mind, he always found a way back. Jeno always found a way back. It was two a.m. and you hated it that he was on your mind every.
You missed it, you missed your relationship with Jeno.
You missed loving him and being loved by him.
You missed yelling and screaming until both of your lunges hurt, because in the end his love was always stronger than his words to you.
You missed fighting with Jeno because you felt alive whenever he came back apologizing, you felt even more loved whenever he tried to tell you that he was sorry and how much he loved you. You saw it in his eyes that no fight was worth giving up your relationship, until he really went too far and you had enough.
But was it worth it?
Was breaking up with Jeno really worth it?
There was so much passion in your relationship, so much adrenaline and powerful love, so much lust and desire.
Your relationship with Jaemin was almost just one sided. He loved you, he bought presents for you, he kissed and hugged you, he fucked you, he was there for you.
It’s not like you just let him, you tried. You really tried to be a perfect girlfriend for perfect Jaemin, but he never let you. He never lets you do anything for him, he told you to let him do anything for you. But you couldn’t live like that, you couldn’t just sit back and let him have a relationship on his own.
Jaemin told you that he wanted to spoil you, since your breakup with Jeno was so hard, but it’s been months and you weren’t the broken girl you were before, you were ready for a new relationship, you were ready to do anything for Jaemin, but in the end you were just bored and angry.
Jaemin treats you like a little baby, whereas Jeno treated you like a woman. A strong, sexy, independent woman. And you loved it, you loved your dynamic with Jeno. You loved the fire in your relationship, you loved everything about your relationship.
Your relationship with Jeno was a rollercoaster and your relationship with Jaemin is plain and simple.
You love Jaemin, but you would never love him the way you loved Jeno.
He respects my space And never makes me wait And he calls exactly when he says he will He's close to my mother Talks business with my father He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable
You visited you parents with Jaemin. They told you they missed him and wanted you to come over and Jaemin was hyped to meet you parents again. They loved Jaemin, he was the ideal son-in-law, the ideal man for their daughter and of course, he wasn’t Jeno.
Jaemin helped your mother with dinner and he helped your father in the garden while you were in your old childhood room going through your old memories.
Memories of Jeno and you.
Jeno and you on your first date.
Jeno’s cute love letter for you (he hated it whenever you talked about it, he was so embarrassed about it).
And many of your anniversaries.
“Babe! Dinner is ready!” Jaemin softly knocked on your door and scared you.
“Shit! My heart.” You held onto your heart, he scared the shit out of you.
Jaemin was watching you wallow in memories for a couple minutes until he decided to wake you up from your daydream. He saw the pictures of you and Jeno in your hand and he was hurt. Jaemin knew that you were thinking about him non-stop, but he hoped that your love for Jeno would fade away and you’d move on and love Jaemin just like Jaemin loved you.
He’d give you more time if you needed, he’d wait for you, he’d give you as much space as you need to sort out your thoughts and feelings.
“What are you doing? What’s that?” he asked you as he saw the letter and the pictures in your hand.
“Oh it’s nothing… important,” you put the pictures and the letter back to their place. “Let’s go downstairs, I don’t want the food to get cold.” You faked a smile.
You didn’t say a word, you just ate and half listened to your family talking with Jaemin.
“What do you say Y/n?” your dad said.
“Huh? What?”
“What do you say to moving in with Jaemin. I really don’t like you staying all alone, and we trust Jaemin enough to live with you and care for you.”
Jaemin saw the frown on your face. “Dad-“
“Sir, I think we shouldn’t rush. I know Y/n, and I know that she needs her own safe place. Everything is perfect right now, we don’t need to live under the same roof, I care for your daughter anyways, but like I said, we should wait a little more.” he smiled at you and you secretly thanked him for saving the situation.
Jaemin knew that you weren’t ready to take the next step in your relationship, he knew that you needed a place just for yourself, a place you could go to whenever you wanted to be alone.
“Alright son, it’s your decision.”
After dinner you helped your mother cleaning up the kitchen and Jaemin and your father went back to the garden, talking about Jaemin’s work.
“I’m so glad you’re not with the other guy anymore.” Your mother said as she watched her husband and Jaemin from the window.
“He has a name mom.”
“As If I say his name ever again,” she huffed, “After what he did to you, after how he treated our little baby daughter-“
“I’m not a kid anymore mom, and don’t talk about Jeno like he killed me, we had arguments like any other couple. Any other normal couple.” You and Jaemin weren’t a normal couple, you were far from that.
“Are you defending him now? Did you forget how much you cried when you came to us after your breakup?”
“Maybe it was a mistake to break up with him.” You mumbled to yourself.
“What did you say honey?”
“I said, maybe it was a mistake to break up with him!” you admitted to your mother.
“What? Don’t tell me you miss him? Look at him,” she pointed at Jaemin, “You have a perfect boyfriend, Jaemin is someone you should love and marry.”
“Oh god mom, you don’t get it. Nobody get’s it. Seriously, if you all think so highly about Jaemin why don’t you go and marry him and leave me alone?!”
You left the kitchen angrily and made your way to Jaemin and your father.
“It’s late, we should go.” You told Jaemin who was just talking to your dad.
“It’s not that late, stay a little longer. Your mother baked a cake this morning-“
“No dad, it’s really late. We should really go.”
Jaemin didn’t want to anger you, he could see the anger written all over your face, so he just agreed with you, like he always did.
“Thank you for tonight, dinner was amazing.”
You were already waiting in the car as Jaemin bid goodbye to your parents.
He silently drove you home, for the first time he didn’t talk and talk and talk. The silence was refreshing, you could finally rest your mind and soul after the dinner with your parents.
“I’ll call you tomorrow around 12, is that alright for you?” Jaemin asked you softly.
“Sure. Drive safe.” you just wanted to take off your clothes and take a long shower.
But I miss screaming and fighting And kissing in the rain And it's 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name You're so in love that you act insane And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone It's a roller-coaster kinda rush And I never knew I could feel that much And that's the way I loved you
Jaemin left you that night and you were glad that he managed the situation with your parents and moving in together. You weren’t ready to take that step with Jaemin, hell you weren’t even sure if you saw a future with him. You had to admit, that all you could think about was Jeno and that was so wrong, but you couldn’t stop thinking about him.
You felt bad for Jaemin but talking about moving in together helped you realize that you could never love anyone as much as you loved Jeno and that there was actually no future for you and Jaemin. Jaemin was perfect, but you don’t want perfect, you want Jeno. You want the passion and the love you had with Jeno.
Jaemin didn’t deserve to be led on, and he definitely didn’t deserve to be second choice. Jaemin deserved someone as nice as him, as kind as him and his lovely as him. But that person was someone else, not you.
You were missing Jeno. Jeno made you feel tons of emotions and Jaemin didn’t.
You remembered the last time you saw Jeno, he looked so broken, so lost. You remembered the last call you had. How he tried to get you back and how much you’ve been thinking about him since then. It wasn’t long ago, maybe he still wanted to get back with you. Maybe he has someone else already.
You could hear the pain in his voice when you told him that you actually wanted to give him a second chance before. It broke your own heart hearing his broken voice and telling him that it was over was maybe a big mistake.
Because clearly, it wasn’t over. Your feelings, your love for Jeno was still there.
“Hey.” Jaemin called you exactly at 12 the next day.
“Hi.” he almost whispered, “Can I come over?”
You told Jaemin that it was okay to come over and you felt like it was over, because it was.
Jaemin was sitting on your couch and you were at the other edge, leaving space between you two.
“How did you sleep?” you tried to be nice, you didn’t want to fight with him again.
“Good. You?”
“Good, I guess.”
Silence.
He can't see the smile I'm faking And my heart's not breaking 'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all And you were wild and crazy Just so frustrating, intoxicating Complicated, got away by some mistake and now
Jaemin leaned to you and pressed his lips softly on yours. You didn’t feel anything. You didn’t feel any sparks, your heart didn’t beat against your chest, you felt nothing.
You smiled and nobody could see how fake your smile was. Jaemin never realized that you always faked a smile, that most of your affection was fake until now, but he couldn’t blame you. It was alright, he was alright. Jaemin wanted to kiss you one last time before it was officially over between you.
“We’re breaking up, right?” he said in a painful tone.
“I’m sorry.” You whispered. You were sorry, but you didn’t feel like you were making a mistake, because you weren’t. This was the right decision. Breaking up with Jaemin was the only right thing to do, for him and for you.
“It’s okay. I saw you going through your stuff yesterday in your old room and I knew that it was over. And I’m not mad, I don’t understand but if your heart still wants him, there’s nothing I can do.” He nervously played with his fingers.
“I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but the things I feel for him, it’s just so different and I tried to stop it, but I couldn’t. I just can’t stop loving him” you felt dumb for leaving Jeno in the first place and maybe you were destroying everything good in your life right now, but it wasn’t fair to Jaemin, he deserved better.
Jaemin’s heart broke, and you could see it in his eyes, but your heart didn’t feel anything but relief.
I miss screaming and fighting And kissing in the rain It's 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name I'm so in love that I acted insane And that's the way I loved you
Breaking down and coming undone It's a roller-coaster kinda rush And I never knew I could feel that much And that's the way I loved you oh, oh
You found yourself in front of Jeno’s apartment, your old apartment. Were you making the biggest mistake of your life right now? You didn’t know and you didn’t care, you just wanted to tell Jeno what you feel and get it off of your chest. So that’s what you did.
You softly knocked on his door.
You were as shocked as Jeno was when he opened the door and your eyes locked.
“H-Hi.” You whispered. You couldn’t stop yourself from crying, so you just let the tears roll down your face.
Jeno opened his arms for you and you jumped into his arms and hugged him as tightly as you could. You sobbed in his arms as you hid your face in his chest. Jeno was also crying and holding you tightly, he’d never let go. He’d never do the same mistake again, he couldn’t lose you ever again.
“I love you. I love you so much, I’m so sorry,” he cried out, “I can’t live without you.”
You sobbed harder, it was impossible to stop loving him, Jeno is your everything, you also can’t live without him.
“I’m sorry-“ you apologized for leaving him, for telling him to never call you again.
“No, no, you did nothing wrong, everything was my fault- I did this to us and I’m so sorry. I love you so much, I promise you I’ll never let go of your hand again if you give me a second chance.”
You softly pulled back and looked him in the eyes, his eyes were as red and puffy as yours.
“I love you so much Jeno, nothing makes sense without you. I don’t want to be away from you ever again, I can only love you.” you confessed.
Jeno softly placed his hands on your cheeks and wiped your tears away “I will always love you, I’ll always be there for you. I love you so much, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for letting you go. I’m so sorry for everything I said and did.”
His apology was genuine, just like his love for you.
Jeno loved you and you loved Jeno, as simple as that and going back to him was the best decision you have ever made.
You were cuddling with Jeno on his couch and talking about everything you had missed in each other’s life, and he was dying to ask you this one question.
“Can I ask you something?” he asked and kissed your temple.
“You already did,” you teased him, “I’m kidding. Of course you can.”
“Did you love him?”
You knew that he’d ask you about Jaemin and that was okay.
“I think I did, I don’t really know. It was different with Jaemin. He was different.”
“So you just broke up with him?”
“Yes. Well it was a mutual decision. I didn’t want to hurt him and he knew it already.”
“Knew what?”
“That I was never going to love him like I love you. That you are the only one I want to be with, that you are everything to me and that I love you so, so much. He knew that I missed you and that I was thinking about you. Jaemin knew that the way I loved you was so different and I knew it too.”
You looked him in his teary eyes, he almost cried again and it hurt you to see him so vulnerable.
“I love you so much, I’m so sorry. Forgive me for being an idiot.” he mumbled against you lips.
“I love you too, I forgave you Jeno, or else I wouldn’t be here in your arms.” You smiled softly and connected your lips with his.
And that's the way I loved you oh, oh Never knew I could feel that much And that's the way I loved you
341 notes · View notes
beldroxramscal · 3 years
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Third Time's the Charm
Frankie Morales x f!reader
Words: 1.4k
Summary: Two times Frankie almost tells you he loves you and the third time he actually does.
Warnings: none, just fluff
A/N: This is a birthday fic for @chasingdreamer and since I love her so much, I decided Frankie loves her thrice as much! I know no one writes better Frankie than you, but I tried my best :D I really hope you like it. I even tried putting in some little details for you :D Happy Birthday, Julia! Love you <33
English is not my first language and I have no one to beta for me. That is just a very long way to say: sorry, my English sucks.
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You didn’t hear him the first time he said those three words, and he thanked God for that. It was not more than a month into dating you, and he knew it was way too early for such confessions.
He took you fishing, something you’ve never done, but was more than excited to try. Planning the trip for the whole week, searching for information about the fish in the lake you were going to, the best baits, and, to his utter delight, even your wardrobe.
“I don’t wanna be overdressed, Frankie,” you’d reason with him. And so he sat there and watched you go through your wardrobe, smiling so much his jaw hurt, as you picked your outfit.
The day didn’t turn out as well as you both hoped. It was supposed to be sunny and warm, but when you two arrived the sky was gray with a slight wind that smelled of rain. Still, you were determined not to let such a small detail sour your mood.
Your smile never seemed to disappear as you two walked the small distance through the forest, even when you kept sliding on the mud and catching him by his arm for support. He tried not to get too excited at the constant contact, but you’d giggled and apologize to him every time, and his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest.
Frankie showed you everything you needed to know, practicing with you for almost an hour just to have an excuse to be so close to you. It felt incredible for him to be the one to show you something new, something you seemed to enjoy this much and would associate with him no matter what the future holds for the two of you.
“You are a pro,” he smiled when you did the whole process by yourself. His heart skipped a beat when you looked at him bashfully from under your eyelashes, your cheeks pink, as you thanked him.
Leaving you by the shore with a rod in your hand, he retreated to the bags. He packed a small picnic basket, and he wanted to surprise you when you seemed so focused on the task in your hand.
He decided against the blanket, the grass was wet, and he didn’t want you to catch a cold. Instead, he moved the two folding chairs closer together with a small folding table in between them. It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes as he tried to put everything together when you suddenly screamed. Frankie turned his head just in time to see you fall face-first into the shallow, muddy water. In an instant, he started running towards you, but before he could get to you, you were already sitting up.
You turned to him and your beautiful face was dripping with water with pieces of mud sticking to it and the rest of you wasn’t in much better shape. Maybe even worse.
He stopped dead in his tracks just a few feet away from you, his face frozen with fear of what was going to happen. Will you yell at him for leaving you alone? Oh God, what if you’d never speak to him again?
But then you started laughing. Your head was thrown back and your hands were flailing around as you tried to speak, but there wasn’t enough air in your lungs for that. So you just laughed and pointed, and he’s never seen anyone or anything more enchanting than you at that moment.
“I love you,” he breathed out. Too quiet for you to hear through the fit of laughter, but loud enough to shake with his whole being. He wasn’t expecting it, didn’t know it, but now he said it out loud and there was no denying it was true.
The second time was a mess too but in a completely different sense. The two of you were hanging in your apartment, eating pizza and drinking some beer, when you decided to show him one of your favorite movies - Pride and Prejudice. He’s never seen it before, not really into that period lovey-dovey stuff, but you looked so excited he couldn’t refuse. So you both moved onto the couch. Few clicks of your remote control later and a soothing piano started to play from the TV.
He didn’t know what to expect, but he had to admit he could see the appeal. The tall brooding wealthy man and the headstrong heroine with her own ideals? Not very groundbreaking, but there was something about it, he couldn’t put his finger on. It felt almost like a magnet. Whatever it was, he was becoming a fan.
It wasn’t until some time later, when Darcy followed Elizabeth from the church, that he felt you stir in his arm. He looked down to where your face was laying on his shoulder. Your eyes looking almost longingly at the TV in front of you with a piece of pizza hovering just outside your lips, when he noticed you were mouthing along with the movie. You knew the speech and by the look on your face, he could tell you wanted this. You wanted someone to get over their fears, and tell you they love you. He wanted to be that man for you.
“I love you.” He didn’t realize how dry his throat was until the words left his mouth. Well, barely.
You looked up at him, and he could feel his heart in his throat from the anticipation.
“Huh? You said something?”
It was quiet after that, except for the TV, but there were bombs going off in his mind.
“Nope,” he shook his head. Kissing you on your forehead just to distract himself from the panic that seized his body. You smiled and turned your attention back to the TV.
Okay. So he was going to become that man for you.
Third time’s the charm.
Frankie wasn’t planning anything for today, you two were not even supposed to see each other, but when you texted him about being stressed because of your asshole boss, he decided to cheer you up a little.
On his way to your place, he picked up some tulips and a cake for your nerves. And his nerves. His mind went into overdrive as he started to doubt his decision. He was inviting himself to your home, without any kind of heads up or any indication you even want him there. He contemplated calling you or maybe texting you that he was on his way, but before he could even make up his mind what would be better, he was turning onto your street.
Frankie parked outside your house, looking at the flowers and the white carton box, trying to decide what to do. He kept picturing you angry at him for showing up uninvited and kicking him out, telling him how creepy he is. He knew it was stupid, you wouldn’t treat him like that even if you were annoyed. And you wouldn’t wear one of those pointy witch hats his mind kept picturing you in for some reason.
It took him almost ten minutes of sitting in the car outside your house and reasoning that he could always just give you the stuff he bought you and go home. No harm in that right? Just him thinking you might need a pick me up. He finally got out of the car after that and rang your doorbell.
He expected a lot of things, a witch hat included, but he didn’t expect you to open the door in his plaid shirt. It was the one he gave you on your fishing trip, so you could get out of your wet shirt. You promised to wash it and give it back to him, but he completely forgot about it.
Your surprised face mirrored his own, but he was sure your heartbeat was much calmer. Or at least that’s what he thought until you started stammering.
“Frankie! Oh… wh-what are you… doing here?” You kept fidgeting, your eyes ticking from his face to anything else as if he caught you doing something you shouldn’t have.
“Is that my shirt?” He raised an eyebrow, unable to mask the smile that threatened to cut through his cheeks.
You looked down, flushed, nervous, tripping over your words as you shook your head. “Uhm… may--maybe? I-- I’m not sure.” But when you looked up at him again, it was all the confirmation he needed.
“God, I love you.”
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midnghtcities · 3 years
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better with you
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you’re not well. harry wants to make you feel better. word count: 2.3k
(A/N: i’ll admit, this one is pretty self-indulgent. endometriosis affects an estimated 1 in 10 women during their reproductive years, which is approximately 176 million women in the world (source) and i personally know of many women who struggle to have their pain heard. i hate having to put on a brave face when it feels like the inside of my uterus is on fire. so this one is for the people who have to push through the pain especially when no one is there to take care of you!!!)
/ read on wattpad /
It always started low in your belly. Sometimes a flutter or an uncomfortable prickle, other times more sharp, like someone was sweeping the tip of a knife across your abdomen. But you knew what it meant, things weren’t going to be looking so good in the coming hours.
You were always a meticulous planner, you had to be. You always knew roughly when you would be alright to make plans, or when you would be better off staying at home. But when Harry waltzed into your life a few weeks ago, that ideal went out the window. From that first initial coffee and walk around Hyde Park, you craved more and more time with Harry. He was enigmatic, so bright and warm that you worried saying no to hanging out with him would mean he would disappear and take with him that new-found sunshine you had just gotten used to basking in. 
So you knew you could be playing a risky game when Harry texted you, requesting your company for dinner. It had been a busy week for you at work meaning you both hadn’t had much time for each other so you said yes without even thinking. It wasn’t until you looked at your calendar that you realised you probably should have come up with some excuse to say no. But the thought of being with Harry, hearing his honey-like drawl and feeling the warmth of his hand on your waist or back - or potentially somewhere lower - was too hard to resist. Surely it would be fine.
You carefully laid your cutlery down next to the plate of ravioli you were half-way through eating, trying to discern whether this was just a fleeting moment of pain or something more sinister. It was always hard to tell at first and the immediate feeling of panic that accompanied never helped with this determination.
“You okay?” a somewhat concerned voice broke your focus.
You looked up, realising that you had been staring quite fixedly at your plate of food. Harry was sitting across from you, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. In any other moment, you would feel that bubbly thrill rush over knowing that Harry was staring so intently. You still found yourself wondering at times why he was interested in you, but after your fifth date you were starting to believe that maybe it was possible for someone like Harry to be interested in a girl like you. But now, as you sat with a lump in your throat and a cold sheen forming over your body, you wished you were anywhere but here.
You cleared your throat, “Uh, yeah, all good. I just have to go to the bathroom.” You stood up carefully, slipping your bag over your shoulder.
“Are you sure?” Harry sounded very worried now.
“Yeah, yeah,” you tried to morph your face into what felt like a carefree expression, but you knew Harry could see right through you. You quickly turned away and made your way to the restroom before he could question further.
With the bathroom door safely locked, you faced yourself in the mirror’s reflection. Your face had taken on an almost unsightly pallor and there was a beginning layer of perspiration across your brow. You grabbed a hand towel to dab your face dry when a flash of pain ripped across your abdomen. You doubled over, biting hard on your lip to keep any groans of discomfort inside. It was clear that your monthly pain had decided to make an early appearance.
Painful periods were something you always had to deal with. The past year though, each one seemed to be worse than the last. Days had been taken off of work, plans had been cancelled, and you had begun to find yourself becoming a ball of nerves whenever that time of month rolled around. Maybe this period you would be huddled around the toilet bowl for hours on end. Or unable to even get out of bed. What if you were out somewhere alone and suddenly couldn’t walk anymore because being upright hurt too much? You didn’t want to take your chances, so more often than not you would ensure you were at home when you knew you needed to be. This was all before Harry though.
The thought of Harry caused you to perk up a little. The pain had subsided slightly, to more of a dull ache. You took the opportunity to quickly rummage in your bag and down two ibuprofen, something you had begun to always carry. You knew it would be a futile attempt at combating the pain, but you figured it was better than nothing. Three deep breaths later, you carefully walked back out to Harry.
His gaze was fixed on his phone, his left thumb and index finger gripping his bottom lip in what you could only take as an action of restlessness. It looked as though he hadn’t touched his risotto since you had left. As you approached, he looked up. “Are you alright?”
“I’m really sorry,” your voice was shaky. You gripped the back of the chair you had previously occupied, willing yourself to get it together. “I think I need to go home, I’m starting to feel like rubbish.”
Concern flooded Harry’s face, his eyes darting up and down to further assess your appearance. You forced yourself to stand up straighter as though this would portray that you are fine. “Is it the food?” he questioned, looking at his own plate apprehensively.
“No, no. It’s just… I get pain sometimes.”
He looked confused. You weren’t one to broadcast your misgivings, so you knew Harry would be slightly shocked to hear of your chronic condition. “Let me get the bill then,” he stood up whilst motioning for a waiter’s attention. 
“No, please finish your dinner!”
“What?” he looked at you incredulously, “I’m not going to just let you leave alone when you’re clearly not feeling well.”
As you were about to retort, a spasm of hurt ricocheted across your belly leaving you only able to suck in a sharp breath. You squeezed your eyes shut and felt your fingers tighten against the back of the chair. Mere seconds later you felt a comforting warmth envelop you along with the barely-there scent of spice and vanilla -- it was Harry. He had wrapped his arms around you carefully, his right hand pulling your face into his chest.
“What’s going on?” Harry said quietly, trying his best to hide how frantic he was really feeling.
You let go of the chair and gripped onto Harry’s arm, gladly accepting the comforting gesture. It was almost uncanny how the pain seemed to dissipate quickly as you stood there enfolded in Harry.
“Excuse me sir,” you felt Harry’s head turn as a voice intruded upon them, “is everything alright?” It was the waiter that Harry had flagged down.
“I’m sorry, could we just grab the bill please? My partner isn’t feeling too well all of the sudden.”
You blinked your eyes open and carefully pulled out of Harry’s embrace. You had almost forgotten you both were standing in the middle of a restaurant. The waiter had already bustled off to get the bill.
“Hey,” Harry grabbed your hand, giving a gentle squeeze, “are you okay?”
You did your best to plaster on a smile and feign indifference but judging from Harry’s stony gaze there was no point in even pretending that you were alright. “Right now it’s slightly better, but the pain will be back no doubt.”
He nodded once and quickly collected his coat from his chair and phone off of the table. The waiter had returned and before you could even reach for your wallet, Harry had already tapped his card and began leading you out of the restaurant, his arm wrapping around your waist once more. “The Uber should be here in five minutes.”
You could barely voice your thanks when another wave of pain rolled on through, leaving nothing but shaky breaths and clenched fists in its wake. Harry’s arm tightened around you, and you gladly leaned into him as you focused on willing the pain away.
“I’m so sorry,” Harry spoke up a few beats later.
You pulled your head away from his chest, meeting his concerned gaze. “Why are you apologising?”
“I shouldn’t have made dinner tonight seem like such a big deal. I know we haven’t seen each other this week but I didn’t want you to feel pressure to come out even if you’re unwell.”
“I promise I felt fine when I said yes. In fact, I felt completely fine up until 20 minutes ago. It’s just how this thing goes sometimes.”
He looked a little confused.
“It’s… It’s my period,” you continued on hoping to answer the questions that were probably already forming in his mind, “I always get pain around the time of my period. And during as well. It is a little earlier this time though.”
“I have a sister, I’ve never seen her in pain like this though,” he said, eyebrows furrowed.
You just shrugged, wincing slightly as another jab of pain pierced your abdomen.
Harry didn’t question the issue further, instead he turned to rubbing circles against your lower back. But you could tell he was thinking intently. A few minutes later, he spotted the Uber and you both got in. Harry insisted on you scooting over to the middle of the backseat so that he could keep his arm secured around you. It was almost like he was never going to let you go now, and you don’t think you had any issue with that.
You kept your eyes closed the whole car ride, letting the sway of the car lull you into a stupor. A low thrum of pain was present the whole time but at least it didn’t flare up. You knew the less you moved, the better it felt.
“We’re here,” Harry said quietly after some time.
Eyes blinking open, you realised he was right. Harry guided you out of the car and up the steps to your flat. His eyes stayed intensely locked on you as you fished the keys out of your bag. It was hard to mask the intense ache the movements caused but you didn’t want Harry to worry more than he already was.
“Thank you so much for helping me,” you said once inside.
“Don’t thank me yet. Let’s get you into bed. Do you have a hot water bottle? Ibuprofen in the kitchen?”
Your mouth gaped slightly. “Harry, it’s fine. I’ll be alright now.”
He stared back at you slightly incredulously. “Have you seen yourself right now? You can barely stand upright. Just getting your key in the door was an effort and a half. Let me take care of you.”
You felt your eyes prickle with tears, you had forgotten what it was like to have someone want to take care of you. The past year you had battled through the pain alone, you hadn’t realised the simple act of someone offering to make you a hot water bottle would feel so good. 
After telling Harry where to find everything, you gingerly walked down the hall to your room. You changed into your comfiest pair of sweats and eased yourself onto your bed. This definitely wasn’t the worst pain you had been in - no throwing up or collapsing to be seen thank god - but it was enough to make doing the simplest tasks a chore. 
Harry crept in a few minutes later, a mug of steaming tea in one hand and the hot water bottle tucked under his other arm. You graciously accepted the bottle, pressing it against your stomach. A sigh of relief escaped your lips.
“Do you mind?” Harry asked, motioning to the space available next to you.
“Please.”
He stripped off his coat and slipped out of his boots before climbing in carefully beside you. You adjusted your position so that your head lay comfortably against his chest and he could easily cradle your side. The contact seemed to melt the pain away instantly.
“Do you think you have endometriosis?” Harry spoke up a few minutes later.
You hummed in confusion, unsure if you heard him correctly.
“I did some quick research in the car. Your symptoms sound like it could be that. Have you ever gone to a doctor to check it out?”
“They just told me to take pain relief. It’s really hard to diagnose, like, you need surgery. I think if it’s not heavily impacting your life then you just have to deal with it.”
“What?” Harry said in a shocked tone. “It’s clearly impacting! You looked like you were going to pass out in that restaurant. Let’s make an appointment in the morning, I’m going with you… If that’s okay with you.”
You couldn’t help but laugh. How many people had brushed off your pain like you were crazy and here was Harry, researching and wanting to book doctors appointments after an hour. “Come here,” you whispered.
“What?”
“I want to kiss you, you idiot. You have to lean down though, I don’t want to move too much.”
His previously concerned face gave way to a dimple-filled grin as he gladly followed your request. Your lips met, moving in sync immediately. You could tell Harry was being conservative, obviously worried to push things too far, but you were just happy to have him.
“You know,” he said once you both broke apart, “you can buy this little machine that uses electric currents to your nerves and it’s meant to help with the pain.”
“How much research did you do in that car ride?” you said whilst chuckling.
“I was worried!”
You gave him a soft smile, “Thank you. But I think for now I’ll stick with the water bottle. And your cuddles.”
“Are they helping?” Harry said, giving you a squeeze.
“They are. I feel much better with you.” 
The pain did seem to be at bay and for once that accompanying feeling of dread didn’t seem to be eating you up from inside out. For once it felt like you were going to get through this and you would be okay.
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Text
What I See
Pairing: Clone Medic Kix x GN Medic Reader 
Premise: My musings here resulted in this. You're a medic in the 501st who works closely with Kix. At first you think the crush you have on him is one-sided, until one day you look through his sketchbook and are surprised by a portrait he drew.  
Word Count: ~2.2k
Rating: G
Other notes: gender neutral reader, no pronouns, no use of Y/N, no beta we die like clones 
AO3
--
Being an army medic had its ups and downs, its slower periods and bursts of intense stressful activity. You wouldn’t trade it for anything though. The pay was better than what you earned as a civilian medical worker, your patients were much more agreeable (even though there was the occasional trooper who insisted he was fighting fit when he was still far from being so) and your coworkers were professional and easy to get along with. One coworker in particular was your favorite, and you looked forward to the shifts you shared with him.
When you first met Kix, you admired him for the love and care he showed his fellow clones and commanding officers. The two of you quickly developed a rapport; he always laughed at the bad jokes you made, and you liked to challenge him to competitions to see who could restock supply shelves in the med bay the fastest … he always won, but every time you’d stick your tongue out at him and say “I’ll get you next time!” and he would only respond with a knowing smirk.
During down time, when there were no patients and paperwork was handled, Kix would sit at his desk with a leather-bound book and a pencil. It was an odd at first, seeing the rich brown leather and sheets of paper in an austerely sterile all-white setting filled with holopads and technology, but it also looked right in his hands. Without meaning to, you’d sometimes watch as he focused intensely on whatever he was scribbling into the book, brow furrowed in concentration as he worked.
“Jesse teases me and tells me I should just take pictures,” he explained one day as he showed you some drawings in his book, “but I find this relaxing.” He flipped to a sketch of a grassy plain with mountains in the background. You marveled at the details: the colors and shading on the mountains looked like sunlight glistening off their stony faces, the grass looked so realistically textured you thought it would feel like the real thing if you touched it, and he even added some wildflowers as well.
After seeing the meticulous designs he shaved into his hair, it was no surprise that Kix was an artist.
“Looks like it could be a picture,” you commented.
“Fives said something similar once, when we were down on Felucia he caught me drawing this-“ he flipped through the book to show you a drawing of a wide-trunked tree with large drooping leaves. “I just draw what I see,” he added with a shrug.
“You’re really talented though, the best I can draw is a stick figure.”
Kix cracked a small smile. “That was once the best I could do too,” he said.
The way his lips curved in his smile, the way his eyes shone as he looked at you - in that moment you realized just how beautiful he was. Sure, he was good-looking – all the clones were – but he stood out to you.
There was no use denying it, you had a crush on him.
Before there was a chance for your thoughts to betray you in any way, Kix’s comm beeped. “Duty calls,” he said, closing his sketchbook and stashing it in a drawer under his desk. He then stood up and made his way to his station, and you followed suit. Whatever was about to come into the med bay, it would keep you busy enough to distract yourself … so you hoped.
It had to be strictly professional between yourself and Kix, you reminded yourself as the first wave of injured troopers came into the medbay. Besides, given how quickly he could turn on a heel from artist to medic like that demonstrated how dedicated he was to his work, you knew he would never let anything get in the way of his duty.
--
Four rotations went by. Kix went on a mission with the rest of Torrent Company, leaving you to manage the med bay on your own during your shift. It was more of the same, really … but you thought about him more than you would care to admit. Of course, you always thought about him when he went on missions, you told yourself. Everyone worried about their coworkers, right? Especially if there was a chance they might not come back?
He always came back, you told yourself. This time wouldn’t be any different.
Only it was both more of the same and different. You were working on paperwork when the med bay doors suddenly flew open, and troopers began pouring in. As soon as you commed some off-duty medics to report to the med bay, you manned the triage station so you could tend to the more critically injured troopers first. It was hectic, a flurry of stressful activity, making sure everyone who needed a bed had one and every wound and scrape was patched up. It wasn’t until everything quieted down that you found Kix in one of the beds.
Your heart dropped into your stomach when you saw him. He was asleep, undressed from the waist up with bandages and bacta patches affixed to spots on his shoulder and the side of his head, and his lower half covered with a blanket. Nodes attached to pulse points on his inner arm connected to a machine by his bed that recorded his vital signs, and everything looked normal at first glance. His chart reported a direct blaster hit to his shoulder and a graze on his head, with an expectation of a full recovery, signed off by one of the medics you called in to help. You owed that medic big time, you thought.
A glance at the nearest chronometer revealed that your shift ended three hours ago, but you couldn’t leave. You didn’t want to leave. So you grabbed a chair and pulled it over to Kix’s bed so you could sit by him. Someone had to keep an eye on him after all. It was professional courtesy, you told yourself, that was all. Besides, even though your body ached and felt heavy with exhaustion, your mind was too active and on edge for sleep.
On the floor by his bed were his things: his armor, neatly stacked and organized, next to his medical pack. Inside his pack you found his sketchbook, and you figured you could pass the time by looking at his drawings again. You found the sketch of the plain and the mountain again and took a few more minutes to admire the detail. Then the tree on Felucia, and then a tooka cat, and when you turned the page you nearly dropped the book in surprise.
Kix had drawn you. In the picture you looked off in the distance, chin propped up on your hand. The detail was incredible: the shape of your nose, your mouth, your eyebrows, all rendered with magnificent accuracy. You wondered if he drew it from memory, or used a picture as a reference, or sketched you one day on duty when you weren’t paying attention.
It had to be a picture, you decided. What you saw before you … it was an idealized version of yourself. Better-looking than anything you ever saw in the mirror.
Before you could dwell on it any longer, you heard a weak drowsy voice calling your name. You looked up and saw that Kix had woken up, his head turned towards you and his half-lidded eyes meeting yours.
“Oh- you’re awake!” you stammered, your cheeks flushing with heat as you slammed the sketchbook shut. You sprang to your feet and came to his bedside – to tend to him as a medical professional, you reminded yourself.
“What’re you doing?” he asked.
“My job,” you answered plainly. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I got shot,” he answered glibly. “But I meant, what are you doing with that?” he nodded his head best he could and glanced to the sketchbook that was still in your hand.
“Oh-“ You froze for a second. “I- sorry, I just really like your ….” Your sentence trailed off as you saw apprehension flash across his face.
“It’s fine,” Kix murmured as he averted his gaze away from you.
“I … I saw you drew me.”
“Yeah … drew that when I was away … was missing you.”
Oh. Maybe he was crushing on you too … the idea was equal parts exciting and scary.
“Missed you too,” you returned, reaching down to give his wrist a gentle squeeze. “And it’s a really good drawing of me too. Did you use a picture for reference or something?”
“Memory,” Kix said plainly.
“Wow …” You opened up the sketchbook again to your drawing and gave it another lookover. “And you made me look better than I actually do.”
“No. I told you before, I draw what I see.”
Your mouth fell open slightly in surprise, and you looked up to meet Kix’s gaze again. Tired as he was, he looked at you with a soft admiration, as if he was appreciating a fine work of art standing directly in front of him. Your mind was both full and blank at the same time, feeling flattered and treasured but at the same time unsure of how to respond to him.
“I … I’ve been putting off telling you how I feel about you,” he continued, “because –“
“Your duty comes first, I understand,” you cut him off as you sat down on the edge of the bed, turning your torso to better face him and setting the sketchbook down by his head.  
“No, not that. Well, it has to, but – but that doesn’t mean I can’t want more out of life.” Kix paused. He raised his hand and reached it towards you. You responded by raising up your own hand, taking his in yours, and holding it in your lap. Your other hand came to rest on his wrist. He was so warm under your touch, soft and solid and steady. You knew that you would eventually have to let go, but you didn’t want to.
“My favorite part of the day is when I get to see you, whether it’s here or in passing somewhere on the ship,” he continued, “and on the battlefield after I got shot, as I was lying there, all I could think about was how I might never see you again.”
“Kix, I-“
“You don’t have to say anything,” he interrupted you. “Except, if- if after the war’s over you wanted to give it a shot? You and me?”
“Yes.” The words immediately fell from your lips as your mouth widened into a smile. You didn’t even have to think about it, and the potential consequences that the higher-ups in the GAR might inflict upon the both of you for even entertaining the idea didn’t matter. It just felt right, the idea of you and him. You couldn’t begin to explain it.
Kix returned your smile. You raised his hand to your mouth and softly kissed the back of it before lowering it back down to your lap. Before you could disentangle your hands from his, he returned that gesture as well, pulling your hand that was intertwined with his to his mouth and pressing little kisses into your knuckles. The feeling of his lips on your hand sent pleasant little tingles through your skin.
“Let’s talk about it some more after you’ve recovered,” you suggested.
“Yeah, of course,” he agreed absentmindedly. He shifted slightly in bed but suddenly stopped and froze in place, his face twisting into a pained grimace and a hiss escaping through his teeth.
“You okay?” You asked, pulling your hand back to you and scanning his body for any other signs of distress.
“Yeah, just hurts is all.”
“Let me get you some painkillers.”
“No need, I’ve dealt with worse.”
“Kix, I insist.” You told him in the sternest voice you could muster.
“I have the right to refuse treatment, especially if the treatment is better spent on my brothers who are in worse shape than I am.”
He was right, he did have the right to refuse treatment. But you couldn’t bear the idea of him being in pain.
“Okay … how about a sleeping aid then? Or some water? Can I get you anything?”
“If you want to do something for me, go get some rest. I’ll still be here when you report for your next shift.”
“Ugh, fine. You drive a hard bargain.”
“Ah come on, you know you love me.” Kix said teasingly, punctuating his statement with a smirk and a mischievous gleam in his eye.
Giving him a small laugh and a half-hearted eye roll, you pushed yourself up onto your feet. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Before you turned to leave, you took his hand in yours again, and took a moment to gaze in his eyes. It took everything in you to not immediately start imagining a life with him after the war. There wasn’t even any guarantee there was going to be a life after the war – the cruiser you were on might be destroyed tomorrow by the Separatists for all you knew – but the idea still filled you with hope and joy. Something to look forward to with him. Something else to fight for.
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