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zenasfuxk · 1 month
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one, i'll go on, two, as long as i can, three, i cannot help this hope, like a season, always coming back like a season. i am so mortal i have little time to think about everything, i can only run my finger over it, like scrolling names in the phone book. but i promise i'll be lovely and good, if not today, tomorrow. i'm not allowed to be a god, therefore i'll be an angel. what is everybody doing? dreaming? wearing? how many kids do they want? the rest of the country breathes as if the governement gives a damn, i am under the same sky of gaza, but i have the priviledge to grow old. we could touch blood as if it was red paint. after all i witness my own mother's drama without feeling the right dose of compassion. i go back to the dream i made where i stretched out my hand towards the face of a man but i did not reach him: i want to feel that warmth again. there is a world where love exists without me trying to remonstrate against it. a world where we are two fingers of the same hand. what a waste, it's all waste – i will not publish my novel. but my novel will be written. and you cannot say it never existed. there was a time where i thought you had to be heard and you had to be looked at in order to exist. but if there is one thing i have learned is that i can exist from the depths of darkness. the flesh will perish, the pen will outlive it.
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ink-flavored · 5 months
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Pride & Justice Side Characters: Pride's Friends
In the story, Pride trips and falls into making exactly three (3) friends, and one cat. This is a post about them!
Picrews here: Nellseto's Maker, TOON ME! Body types A and B, Djarn's Character Maker, felidaze's warrior cat creator, Cat Creator || ネコ アイコンメーカー, felidaze's cool cat creator
Olivia "Ollie" Clearwater
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She/They | Trans Butch Lesbian | "Only motherfucker in this city who can handle me." - Pride, probably
Olivia grew up with extreme Christian fundamentalists for parents, controlled and sheltered all her life. Her only knowledge of queerness was as a one-way trip to Hell, and her knowledge of transness was non-existent. Even as deeply closeted as she was, Ollie chafed against her parents' strict upbringing, and began lashing out at an early age—and suffering the consequences.
In her attempts to free herself, even momentarily, Ollie found smoking and "the devil's music" to be particularly freeing. By thirteen, she was regularly sneaking packs of cigarettes and death metal albums into her room, and taking them with her every time she left so they wouldn't be found. Making up excuses about kids smoking at the bus stop saved her for a little while, but she knew it was only a matter of time.
Desperate, she held on until her she graduated, shipped off to college, and then her deep dive into everything forbidden began. The longer she strayed on the outskirts of what her parents found acceptable, the more she discovered. From metal, to grunge, to punk, Ollie found the queer community on her college campus and beyond, After so many years, she finally discovered herself.
Time ran out at the end of her first visit back home for the holidays. All her secrets exploded from her in a heated argument, and her parents instantly cut contact. With no money to pay tuition, Ollie had no choice but to leave her degree unfinished. And with nowhere to go, she was homeless for several years, couch-surfing with her few college friends, and sleeping on the streets.
After what felt like a lifetime of strife, she found solace in the community aid the local punk scene strung together for her. They helped her find temporary housing, work, and have a life again. Now in her early thirties, she credits them to this day for allowing her to live the rest of her life, and is active in fiercely defending it and supporting people like her.
Though Olivia does not dream of labor, she makes ends meet working retail, and spends a significant chunk of it on edibles as she attempts to quit smoking after nearly two decades.
Sofía Torres-Iglesias
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She/Her | Cis Lesbian | The obligatory catgirl in every queer friend group
Sofía was born a second-generation immigrant to her Mexican parents, having a familiar childhood that many queer people might recognize—feeling different, but without the language to explain why. When she was young, she simply didn't understand why anyone would want a boyfriend in the first place. Growing older, and learning how strange it was for her to turn up her nose family members asking about her non-existent boy crushes, she bottled the feeling and tried not to think about it too much. She spent time with her friends and nodded along with all the teenage squealing about the boys from her school, and saying what people wanted to hear when asked about her own preferences.
Eventually, she found the words of her community. She sat on the knowledge for years, until coming out to her parents in a nervous rush before her quinceañera. After a lot of tears and hugging, the celebration went off without a hitch, with Sofía confident her parents supported her.
However, as time went on, it seemed clear that they supported her... insofar as they accepted her "experimenting" in this "phase." They were confused about how she could possibly be a lesbian because she loved pink, and kittens, and femininity—nothing like the marimacho they imagined queer women to be. It took Sofía a long time to establish with them how to talk about her sexuality and her community in ways that didn't make her want to scream, in addition to convincing them that she would never find "the right man" to "fix" her.
After many more years, a few messy early-twenties-relationships, Sofía was finally able to convince her parents it wasn't a phase. At last, she could breathe.
She met Ollie in her late twenties at a gay bar, and they rented the U-Haul a month later. Three years have passed, they're still together, sharing an apartment and a cat named Marbles. Sofía has a day-job tutoring kids in Spanish, but hopes to one day be able to afford to go to veterinary school.
Dante Price
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They/Them | Nonbinary Asexual | Can and will quote the Divine Comedy verbatim
Dante's first canvas was always their own body. The story of their young self using finger-paints on everything except the paper was a popular anecdote of their parents, to the point where everyone at church could recite it word-for-word. This love of art continued through their childhood, from crayons to paints to their mother's make-up and it was all fine—until it suddenly wasn't.
On a dime, Dante's creativity was stifled. Their hands slapped away from eye shadow and lipstick, there was suddenly an acceptable art, and an unacceptable art. Growing up with a younger sister brought the unfairness into sharp relief—she was allowed to toy with make-up, dolls, and glitter. But Dante wasn't.
Nothing that was shoved into their hands as "proper" ever felt right. Not sports, martial arts, or any school subject sat right with them. They struggled to stay focused on anything except art, doodles getting snatched up and torn to pieces in class as punishment for their lack of attention. Later, they would be diagnosed with ADHD, years too late to save them from a miserable public school experience.
Dante drifted through life, listless and feeling destined to fail. The things they loved weren't allowed, and the things they sucked at were the only way to succeed. Stuck in the middle of an impossible situation, there was nothing they could do.
One place they escaped this limbo was in Dante's Divine Comedy, obsessed with the epic poem to the point of near-encyclopedic knowledge. The journey consumed them, a trip through Hell, into Heaven, and finally finding God and the love that aligns a soul. Such a path felt impossible for them, but they clung to the possibility.
School sucked, with shit grades, few friends, and net-zero interest in dating anyone or anyone dating them. Home sucked, with an air of disappointment hanging above their parents' heads. But one day, they would escape it. That they would exit Hell, and scrape their way to Heaven.
Before they knew it, high school was over, and Dante was expected to have a plan. They went to community college, because they had to do something, and joined the GSA after reading the word "asexual" on a flier. The more meetings they attended, the more they talked about existing in the in-between, the more the rest of their life started to make sense. It felt like climbing closer to Heaven, and Dante named themself after their favorite poet, hoping beyond hope it would give them strength.
They mulled over coming out for a long time. Their parents were just now starting to feel proud of them—would this ruin it? Would they be trapped forever? Dante tested the waters by telling their sister, Aria, and cried from relief when she accepted them, said she would help.
It was... a difficult series of conversations. Their parents were confused, not understanding what "nonbinary" even meant, or how Dante could be asexual when they haven't ever dated anyone—they were just inexperienced. But they agreed to use Dante's new name and pronouns, and that was more than Dante expected. And, to help them the rest of the way along, they offered some of the resources the GSA handed out, to help them through the process.
Things got better faster than they ever expected. Much less than simply tolerating their queerness, Dante witnessed their parents switch to a more progressive church in the name of respecting it. They bought make-up again, learned how to use it like paint on a canvas, something they also found love in after so many years of getting their art torn to shreds.
Now, with a supportive community, family, and self, Dante is working toward an art degree, and basking in the light of the love that set their soul right.
Marbles
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He/Him | Grey & White Tabby | No thoughts. Only treats.
Sofía's beloved cat. He has one brain cell the size of a marble that bounces around his skull. He is very spoiled and enjoys ear scratches.
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As Goncharov (1973) is trending, I'm disappointed that so far no one has mentioned that the last scene of Sofia arriving in Iceland and opening the door to her new and empty flat is a direct parallel to the scene in which Goncharov comes home to see the light from the kitchen where Katya is waiting for him with the letter. It shows that in the end, despite all the heartbreak, Sofia managed to escape and can now start over. This scene may seem sad if seen only through gifs, but it's meant to contrast how Goncharov thought he schemed his way to safety only to discover that everything he'd done has finally caught up to him. Her new flat looks unwelcoming, but she's safe now and is ready to write down her memories of Goncharov, Andrey and most importantly Katya for future generations. In the end, it's all about the difference between accepting your past and moving forward, and being consumed by your past unable to escape it.
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m1ssnovember · 16 days
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My body doesn’t love me anymore.
I bleed and for that I am to be grateful
It’s coagulated and it doesn’t hurt anymore.
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moonypears-blog · 4 months
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cowboyangell · 6 months
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but even soulmates leave sometimes.
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clamsjams · 8 months
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i say that people should just abandon twitter a lot and i think it’s time to come clean as a hypocrite bc i’ve actually been using it more lately. but i think i should be forgiven bc it’s exclusively to do this
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i know it would be way funnier if i had actually started it way earlier but in my defense 1. i didn’t think she’d be gone for this long and 2. im bad with time shut up
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dietmountaindewlover · 10 months
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My journal and then camera roll dump
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weeinterpreter · 2 years
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Part 8. It’s all fun and games until you get the Butler angry.
What’s a Trope Bingo?
What’s the Evil Association of Evil Villains?
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5][Part 6] [Part 7]
"Fellow librarians, a new era is about to begin," the librarian concluded.
The hall erupted in cheers and hollers as she pressed the enter button on the laptop. She turned to the screen behind her to watch the numbers count down from five to zero. The screen went dark before a message popped up.
Are you human? Please choose every picture with a cat to proceed.
Underneath it, nine pictures of cats appeared. One cat, to be precise.
The librarian stared at the message with an open mouth, unable to comprehend what had just happened. The hall fell silent. Somebody coughed. The woman turned around, her hands clenching and unclenching. She chewed on the inside of her cheek for one distracted second, before she straightened her shoulders and gave her audience a confident smile.
"A slight malf–"
She never finished the sentence, because an arm the size of a log wrapped around her shoulder. Cold steel pressed against her temple. Gasping, the librarian froze against the solid wall that had sprung up behind her.
For a second, nothing happened.
"Well, well, well," Artemis said, as he came on stage, closely followed by Arno Blunt, Jon Spiro, Opal Koboi with a hissing Mata Hari/Diamond, and Alex. "Looks, like you’re not as clever as you think you are."
The librarian's attacker turned her around like a rag doll and she sighed.
"I apologise," she said, only loud enough to be heard by one person. "I didn't want to scare you."
She flinched at the sound of the pistol being cocked.
"I do," the voice rumbled.
"My association is only interested in knowledge. We don't kill people. Vincent had strict instructi–”
She gasped for air as the vice-like grip squeezed her even harder.
"I don't care," he said, his voice unforgiving.
Artemis had stopped in the middle of the stage, smiling. Waiting. When nobody reacted, he tapped his custom-made loafers on the stage.
"Well?"
The librarian clawed at the arm that held her in place.
"Well, what?" she spat.
"As I said before"—he said with a glare—"you can either give me the password to stop the protocol or risk an eternity of picking cat pictures on the internet. Your choice."
The librarian clenched her jaw before she let out a defeated huff. "The password is Conoscenza. Capital C."
Artemis walked over to the laptop and typed it in. "Quite clever, too. Italian for knowledge."
He gave Butler a sign, and the librarian stumbled free. She crossed her arms, throwing the giant a wary look as he returned to his spot next to Artemis.
"I could’ve changed the world for the better," she said.
"Let's be real," Artemis said with a raise of his eyebrows. "You never had a chance of succeeding against the Evil Association of Evil Villains. You have potential, but you aren't as good as you’d like."
Seeing her expression darkening, Butler placed a hand on Artemis' shoulder.
"Perhaps we should go," he said.
Arno Blunt gave him an incredulous look. "Who says she won’t try the same thing once we are gone?"
"Don't insult my intelligence," the librarian said through gritted teeth. "It's not good enough if it didn't work the first time. It'll be a bulletproof plan next time."
Arno drew his pistol. "I wouldn't be too sure about that, missy."
Artemis held up his hand.
"Stop, Mr Blunt. We are criminals, not savages. We riddle plans with bullets, not people."
Arno rolled his eyes. "You are not giving me orders, kiddo. I've wasted a whole evening rescuing you when I could have listened to the latest episode on gravi–"
He interrupted himself when he noticed the curious look in the librarian's eyes.
"I mean, the latest guns being released."
"Let it go, Arno,” Jon Spiro said, patting his bodyguard on the arm. “You can have tomorrow off as well. We don't need the police on our trail. Again. They are still looking for Fred, the Frogger, remember? I'd say we're even for today. Whaddaya say?"
Making a disappointed sound, Arno dropped his gun. He pushed his hands deep into his faded jeans and sauntered behind Jon Spiro and Opal as they walked back from where they came from.
Alex slowed down until he was walking next to Artemis.
"I'm actually impressed," he said.
Artemis gave him a quizzical look.
"I mean, you sabotaged her evil plan. That's pretty noble of you."
Artemis straightened his tie. "Obviously, I wouldn't want another association to reap our hard-earned reputation. It's us who take over the world or nobody."
"Oh." Alex's smile dropped, and he slowly turned away.
Artemis stopped, deeply confused. Suddenly, his victory seemed less sweet, and he wondered what could have possibly soured his success.
"This isn't over," the librarian called out after them. "You have won today, but I'll be back."
"Oh, I know this one," Alex quipped up. "It's from The Terminator."
The librarian let out a surprised laugh.
"Your essay on the Spanish Civil War is due on Monday, Alex," she shot back, her lips quirking up as the boy blanched. "And what you have written so far is atrocious. I suggest you work on that."
"I can look at it," Artemis blurted out to everyone's surprise.
"I mean, it's pretty bad," Alex said, with a grimace. "But, I mean, if you like."
Artemis cleared his throat, checking the knot of his tie. "We can discuss this over... a meal... perhaps?"
Alex shrugged, dropping his head to keep his lopsided grin from showing. And with that, the odd group left the stage to a still frozen audience.
The end... for now.
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iveta777 · 8 months
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silkpigeon · 8 months
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“I think we could do it if we tried”
But I don’t want to try
I don’t know why
I’m sorry
I am crying in my heart
And I love you
“You’re mine”
A part
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harrysscrapbook · 2 years
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People are like habits, good or bad doesn't determine their presence or absence. Sometimes they are the little bit of Serotonin that our heart craves for, while the other times they are like the adrenaline rush everyone desires for. And finding someone who is a perfect amalgamation of serotonin and adrenaline is one of the rare thing that happens once in a lifetime. People who feel like home are hard to find but people who protect like home are next to impossible.
Cassie and Luke were home to each other. No matter how long they faked but every time they faked there was something very real hidden under the wraps of that pseudo fakeness. Love for sure has it's very strange ways of finding us and it finds us when we are least prepared for us. The same happened with them, they found love when they were least prepared.
Their story was not just another love story made up of cheesy lines and fun banters. Their story was made up of hopes and dreams, fear and sacrifices, fighting with and fighting for each other. While Luke was the cornerstone protecting Cassie, she was the anchor holding Luke from drifting apart. She was the hymn of hometown that always calls back home, while he was the song of rain, always enthusiastic about meeting the Earth. They truly were the perfect amalgamation of adrenaline and serotonin every heart desires of.
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lolitahiroshima · 2 years
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Nobody wants to marry a fish
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My throat is still sore from last night. I can’t remember a thing. Only the pain. I walk slowly to the bathroom still dizzy. I enter that place. Every morning the same ritual. A look in the mirror, I don’t recognize myself. A look at my body, I want to tear it apart.
It doesn’t belong to me.
I cover the mirror with a linen sheet. Lock the door. With one hand press on my torso to keep my skin still, with the other one I grab the first excrescence. Tightly, abruptly I pull it. Another one, I pull it. Another one I pull it, frenetically, I pull everything that I have in sight. My hands are no longer under my control. I need to get rid of everything. Minutes passes, and I lost the track of time. Only one thing keeps me going; disgust. Some sort of trance is taking over my body. I black out.
The next thing I know, I can’t see the color of the ground anymore. Covered in disgust and tears, through that ocean of scales, I join the bathtub. They crack under my weight. I feel them shattering. Rough, dry, and sharp they’ll soon turn into mush. Warm are my tears.
I cleanse my body in a boiling hot bath. I hope for the burning liquid to erase every rest of me. The vapors blur my vision. I close my eyes and wish for the transformation to stop.
I am the fattest monster. The biggest monster you’ll ever see. The whole house is going to collapse under my weight.
The whole world.
I can feel the floor trembling with each step I take. Every day is heavier than the one before.
Eyes wide open I dare to look at my body. Fresh wounds under the water, I know they’ll be back to “normal” in a few days. Unbearable vision.
I started to grow these scales when I turned 15. Mom told me it would pass but she is a liar. I keep staring in the mirror, all I see are lies. Lies that turned into eternity.
How much longer can I pretend that I am not the one I intend? Half human, half monster, half myself, half a stranger.
My thirst is uncontrollable. I need to drown myself. Soon I will not be able to get out of that bathtub. Soak every pore of my body with that boiling liquid. Forget every minute of my past life and accept my fate. Is the battle worth the pain?
I can feel it growing bigger and faster inside of me. Soon it’ll consume me entirely. Webbed feet, gleaming body, monster of the sea; my reflection.
Tons of salty expanses, miles away, I can smell. Sharp senses of mine, animal instincts, they’ll guide me. I won’t resist. I am drawn to that place.
Crawling on my upper arms, newly born
I open my eyes,
Look down, for the first time I see, that thing that is not me
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bakingmoomins · 1 year
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the thing with goncharov is that you really can watch a movie bc of ur beloved mutuals opinions and gifsets
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noeljpenaflor · 2 months
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Top 5 Sofia Coppola Films Ranked. (Link Below)
Click on this Link and Bill Murray Will Whisper into your ear!
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