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babesonly · 3 years

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fic recs 2.0!

hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest

Canonverse

I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)

I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.

Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.

"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.

a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it

on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)

“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”

hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible

dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)

Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.

dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh

Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)

Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.

hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !

walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)

Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.

S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god

the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)

Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."

MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god

Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)

Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.

Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs

JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS.

hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)

Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.

they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)

In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...

an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)

Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.

The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.

hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)

This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny.

ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...

love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)

ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!

These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.

for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot

the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out

Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)

Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.

cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much

Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.

written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3

sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)

"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good

Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)

“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”

Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.

early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please

Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)

Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.

Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.

oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)

He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3

First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together

Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)

Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”

op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible

the shape you take by noviembre (10k)

“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”

And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”

Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:

Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.

Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”

Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.

dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you

Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)

Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).

yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?

you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)

Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.

Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.

love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible

No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex

Bodies by Speary (18k)

It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.

i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)

So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.

“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”

“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.

Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.

“What do you remember, Cas?”

“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."

or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?

BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)

Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.

He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.

Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.

this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.

Dean was done with this shit.

***

Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)

His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.

His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.

this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)

Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.

In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.

mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.

(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much

Emergence by ellispark (58k)

Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.

A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.

another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god

a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved

Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)

Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds

An ethics lesson from Hell

The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.

deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended

Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)

Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.

There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.

Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.

With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.

saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read

Casefic/Roadtrip Fic

Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)

Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.

He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.

Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.

Castiel stills.

“Dean?”

the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much

before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)

Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.

thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good

Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this

best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)

It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.

the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)

This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.

alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much

Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)

Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.

Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?

one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3

Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)

Based on the tumblr textpost:

jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face

Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)

“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.

Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.

“What is it, Cas?”

“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.

“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”

There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)

Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.

It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.

Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.

Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.

Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.

i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much

Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)

Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.

Dean will tell him—

Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.

cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)

Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good

Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)

When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:

Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.

The reality of the moment is this:

It’s fucking cold.

dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences

my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)

“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am

killing time by orestespdf (11k)

It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.

(A character study of Castiel.)

perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.

and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)

Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.

aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.

a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah

for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)

'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD

swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)

Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.

Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.

this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)

"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."

Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal

what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

~~~

"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"

"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."

deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic

Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)

Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.

So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.

And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.

"Hello, Dean."

oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.

SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss

ascend by quiettewandering (53k)

Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should

oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

~~~

"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

"What?" Dean grits out.

"I love you, too."

the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying

Endverse

final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)

“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”

"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."

endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god

The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)

The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."

this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds

to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)

cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.

oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao

the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)

The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.

this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach

Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)

There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.

The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.

PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.

Non Supernatural AUS

Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it

One White Lie by komodobits (11k)

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.

separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)

Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.

~~~

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.

God, he's so fucking stupid.

Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.

"Three years ago," Cas prompts.

Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."

this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him

Non Destiel Centric

gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)

sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want?

HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god.

the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)

Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.

required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good

Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)

In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)

for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3

Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)

Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."

this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this

#spn #supernatural #destiel #deancas #mine

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spencerreidscoffeecup · 3 years

Text

Beautiful Boy (blurb) (comfort fluff)

Summary: Spencer feels insecure about his body, but reader cheers him up :)

CW: body image issues, talk of gaining weight, talk of not eating, crying, struggling to eat, kissing, comfort fluff <3

AN: Hello my loves! I hope you guys enjoy this one shot. I've been feeling bad about myself lately and I like to express my emotions through writing so I hope you enjoy this one shot! If you want me to do a one shot like this but y/n is insecure, let me know! (This one shot is kind of a blurb btw) You all are amazing, beautiful, smart, and talented and I love each and every one of you! If you need to talk to anyone, PLEASE message me and I'd be glad to talk. You are not alone, even if it may feel like you are. <33

note: i barely checked it for mistakes, so if there are any, please ignore them lol

Reader's POV:

Spencer was a such a beautiful being.

I loved everything about him.

His bright aura that beamed so brightly around him made it impossible not to see what a kind and caring type of man he was. He was amiable and well-liked when it came to the people he surrounded himself with.

Everything about him was beautiful. His personality, his smile, his whole entire face, his body and soul. He was so pure, yet he felt so damaged inside.

The fact that he thought so lowly of himself made my heart wrench in my chest.

Spencer had been out on a case in Arizona for two days before he got home one Tuesday evening.

I was drying off in the bathroom from just being in the shower when I heard the door to our apartment open and close. Quickly, I got into a purple sweater of Spencer's and some sleep shorts, as well as purple and blue mismatched socks.

Walking out into the living room to see where he was, I found no trace of him, only seeing his satchel hung up on the rack we had by the front door, his black converse stacked ontop of one another in the small wooden cubby under the rack his satchel hung on.

My eyebrows drew together as I called his name out before hearing small sniffles coming from our bedroom. Upon further inspection, I saw Spencer, his back turned away from the door as he sat on the edge of the bed in our room, hunched over slightly as his arms were wrapped around his waist.

"Spence?" I asked sweetly, my tone soft and tender. I walked over to him to see small tears falling from his eyes, my chest tightening at just the sight of him.

"The case must have ended poorly", I had thought to myself, getting on my knees in front of him as I tried to get a better look at him.

"Spence, what happened? Did the case end badly?"

Spencer made no effort to respond with words, only responding with a slight shake of his head.

"Then what's wrong baby?" I asked, bringing a hand up to his knee as I rubbed it soothingly, trying to pry an answer out from him. Instead, Spencer turned away slightly, trying his best to hide his tears from me. "Hm?" I hummed, combing my fingers through his hair before I stood up, sitting behind him on the bed. I softly kissed his back, getting on my knees as I pulled some hair back from his face, kissing his neck gingerly.

After a moment, Spencer turned to look at me, his eyes red and swollen; his tear-stained cheeks a light crimson. He sniffled some more, his lower lip quivering slightly before he wrapped his arms around me tightly, nuzzling his head in the crook of my neck. My shirt began to get damp with his salty tears as I shushed him, sobs breaking from his throat, his breathing shaky. I combed my fingers through his chestnut hair. I knew that he was probably seeking solace at the moment, so of course I gave it to him right away.

"I h-hate the way I look-- the w-way I am." he cried softly, his sniffling increasing.

My heart practically shattered at his words as I pulled his face away gently with my hands that cupped his cheeks.

He looked so broken.

"What happened?" I asked gently, feeling the corners of my eyes soften.

Spencer swallowed thickly before responding. "On the case I brought some work shirts with me, and I've worn them throughout the years.. I mean ever since I started at the BAU, but none of them fit me anymore. T-they were all tight on me."

I felt my heart sink as I sighed softly before bringing his head back to my shoulder, Spencer grasping the material of my sweater firmly.

"Spence, our bodies change all of the time. You've been working out and eating more," I whispered through his soft whimpers, guiding him with me to lie down on the pillows behind us. "Your body has changed. And you look amazing. You always have. You're the most beautiful person inside and out...but now that you are getting stronger, your body is acclimating to that."

I felt Spencer angle his head upward to lay a soft kiss on my neck before nuzzling back into it, my arms wrapped around him as I wove my fingers through his hair.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you," Spencer responded, his voice still cracking with emotions that had seeped through; his breathing still shaking as his sniffles lessened. However, I still felt some tears roll off his face and onto my neck, but I paid no mind to it, my only goal was to show Spencer how amazing he was and how much he meant to me. It was quiet for a few minutes, his breathing starting to become less rapid. "I-I haven't eaten much these past few days. I haven't felt like I deserve food." he murmured.

"Love, you deserve food.. Your body deserves food. Do you want to eat right now? I have some thai food I ordered for the two of us tonight." I suggested, feeling Spencer tug me towards his body, pulling me impossibly close to him.

"Can we sleep for a little first? I haven't gotten much rest either."

"Of course, love."

Spencer pulled away a little to look at me, his eyes no longer filled with tears, nor did they have the essence of stress that laced them like earlier. They were puffy and red, his lips swollen and a dark pink from his incessant biting, but he smiled lovingly at me, and I mirrored his look. He pulled me close again, kissing my lips gently and with so much care.

"Spence, you are so amazing, smart, and beautiful. You're perfect. And I know it may not help but I will love you no matter the circumstances. Even if you lose or gain weight, it doesn't matter to me. The only thing that matters is that you're healthy, safe, and happy." I whispered against his lips, peppering a small kisses on them.

I pulled away to see that his face had lit up with a small blush.

Spencer slotted his lips over mine, tugging me close to him as he littered my face and neck with small kisses. I didn't expect an answer or response from him. He didn't need to answer me. His affection seemed to have answered all the questions in the world.

Spence and I had fallen asleep, our limbs perfectly woven together as we breathed in each other's calming scents.

I missed this.

I missed him.

Of course I knew he had only been gone for a couple days, but I still couldn't help but feel emotional when he would get home from cases.

His job was extremely dangerous, and the fact that he had such an amazing team that kept him as safe as possible to come back to me made my heart happy.

I don't know what I would do without him.

It had been around two hours since he had made it home. Meaning we had slept for about an hour and a half. I gently pried myself from his deadly grasp, walking to the kitchen to heat up the thai food that had been sitting in the fridge for several hours now.

If he wanted to eat, that would be great.

However, if he didn't feel the need to eat anything I wasn't going to force him. I just knew that food is what he most definitely needed after all of this.

I set some water on the table, dishing the food out onto plates as I heard Spencer call my name sleepily from our room.

My heart fluttered in my chest, my stomach filling with so many butterflies it was nauseating.

I walked into our room, seeing Spencer half awake, his eyes barely open.

"C'mere," he croaked, making grabby-hands towards me as I giggled. I walked over to him, kissing his forehead as I sat on the bed. Spencer smiled lazily, "Thank you for being you and making me feel better."

"Of course, Spence. Although I'm not really sure how to be anybody else." I joked, kissing his lips softly, Spencer chasing mine as I pulled away. I kissed him again. "There's food on the table. If you don't want it you don't need to eat it, but I think it would make you feel less sleepy." I said, combing my fingers through his hair, Spencer nuzzling his head into my palm like a small kitten would with its owner.

He nodded softly, sitting up and taking my hand as we began to walk to the kitchen.

He sat down at the table, looking down at the food nervously.

"I-I don't know if I should eat," he frowned, shoving his food around on the plate in front of him.

"Okay, you don't need to eat. You can just have something tomorrow. But if you really are hungry but you feel like you don't deserve it, remember-- you do. Your body needs fuel, and you deserve to eat something delicious." I said, rubbing his hand under the table.

Spencer nodded, taking a bite of the chicken that sat in front of him. He chewed a few times before digging into his rice.

We began eating, Spencer only focused on eating his rice and vegetables and not his chicken. Which of course was fine by me as at least he was eating something.

After about twenty minutes, Spencer cleaned the table as I washed my dishes. He wrapped his arms around me as I finished washing out a ceramic bowl. Resting his head on my shoulder, he pulled my hair back from my neck and kissed the soft tissue. I smiled, drying my hands off and kissing his lips.

"Hey, you want to take a bath with me?" I asked, and Spencer nodded fervently, bending down to kiss me once more before following behind me to the bathroom.

The rest of the night was calm and filled with so much love. We sat in the bubble bath, saying our I love you's and sharing small touches and kisses.

I had so much love to give him that it felt almost impossible.

But I was going to try and gift it to him.

Because he deserved all the love in the world.

I think that one of the greatest misfortunes is that we, as humans, are unable to truly see our own beauty. We cannot see how we look when we have a genuine laugh. We cannot see how we look when we smile brightly around others. We can only see what we wished we looked like. We can only see what we look like in pictures and in videos. And since our cellular devices do not hold the ability to show what we look like in the eyes of a fellow human, we feel bad about ourselves when we look back at the picture or the video.

I like to think of it like this: Have you ever taken a picture of the moon with your phone?

If you have, the picture probably came out to be blurry, maybe sort of lackluster. But when we put away our devices and tilt our heads back to look at the beautiful craters that indent the white glow of the moon, we believe that it is one of the most mesmerizing things. That nothing can compare to the way the moon looks on a clear, dark night; the stars twinkling around the celestial body which makes it all the more ethereal.

Fact of the matter is: our eyes are sneaky little things. They make us think that we are looking into a funhouse mirror when we look at our reflection. We may think our head is too big or too small. Or that our teeth are crooked and yellow.

But I truly believe one thing, which is that our beauty 'flaws' is what makes us all the more beautiful. The stretch marks that lie paths on our skin make us look all the more beautiful, all the more grown. The skin dimples that rest so gently upon our soft tissue creates a look of realness, which is something I find so adornful.

Because in reality, our bodies are most beautiful when we show off our so-called flaws.

#fluff #bodypositivity #criminalminds #spencerreidxreaderfluff

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kanene-yaaay · 3 years

Text

5+1 [Part 3]

5 times Iida was tickled and the one time he wasn’t.

[PART ONE]

[PART TWO]

Kanene’s note: Heyaaa! Okay, I just want you to know that I am WEAK for b-day tickles ! It's just so cute and :'3 *whispering softly* truly precious. Oh, Tenya is 12 years old now! Y a y

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* This characters don’t belongs to me! They all belong to the anime/manga Boku no Hero.

* This is a SFW tickle fanfic with family tickles, so, if you don’t appreciate this kind of content, please, look for another blog. There are a plenty of very greeat arts in this site!! ^w^)b

* This is Lee!Tenya with Ler!Hizashi + Ler!Aizawa with brief Ler!Tensei and Lee!Aizawa. All relationships are platonic. Around 1.800 words.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any and every advice is very very welcome! \(-w-)/

* Allow yourself to have a slow day. Don’t forget to drink water, sleep and eat! <33

[~*~]

Iida drank a second cup of his special orange juice - used only on commemorative days and events - thoughtfully. His birthday party would be late in the evening and, since his family wanted to make it a surprise, he would spend the whole day hanging out with his brother, Aizawa-san and Hizashi-san until all the preparations would be complete. He, of course, offered himself to help with all the decorations, but his parents were firm on their decision and Tenya would be lying if he said he wasn’t excited to have some quality time with his brother and the other two heroes. Their work usually demanded a lot of their time.

Still locked on his thoughts, as the doorbell rang, the teenager opened the door without a second thought in a polite stance, being rudely pulled out of his own mind as he stared at Aizawa and Hizashi, both with dangerous smirks that suddenly filled Iida with clear memories of a tradition Tensei started on the boy’s birthday and his ‘uncles’ (Tenya one day protested at the nickname, pointing it didn’t make sense call them like that because they aren’t blood related. However, his parents explained that this was just a way to express fondness and closeness for someone you care about. The younger one began to call them uncles with more frequency, except on social gatherings) caught on it as well.

“Hello! ~” Hizashi chipped, making goosebumps run down his spine as Iida closed the door on their face, internally wincing at the clear disrespectful act, however valuing much more his safety than being a polite host.

(But, actually, he wasn’t truly anxious about it. They were always nice and kind with him, making him smile and enjoy himself, even when he wasn’t the perfect model he struggled to be.)

Tensei’s head peaked from the second living room’s hall as he dashed at full speed across it, accompanying his baby bro with ease and drops of confusion. “Who was it at the door?”

“Uncles!” Tenya frowned in concentration as he turned the corner, lowering his speed enough to not go face first on the wall, cheeks slightly red and sputtering starting to become present on his tune. “They are going to do that hideous tr-tradition you started when I was a kid!” And Iida Tenya, future hero from a whole noble ancestry of skilled heroes, definitely did NOT pout at his brother’s carefree laughter.

“Oh, yeah! I forgot about that! It’s so polite of them to help me to remember, don’t you think?”

“No!! It’s not polite! High level heroes like you shouldn’t be committing such embarrassing, hideous act in the first place, even less repeating it yearly!!”

“Aww, you’re repeating your words. You’re excited, aren’t you?” Tensei smiled, knowing his brother enough to notice that gleam in his eyes and the lack of a real protest in his words. He ignored the squeaked ‘NO!’ thrown at him and smiled even wider, doing a fast maneuver that put his body between his brother and the door, hugging him on his chest with a ‘oof’ when they inevitably collided. “You know what? Since they’re being so nice with us, I think we should repay their kindness, right?” Tensei grinned when he heard the footsteps coming closer, shouting “HEY, GUYS! BIRTHDAY BOY IS HERE!”

“Tensei!!” But he was already smiling, squirming excitedly on his brother’s hold, especially when a loud, happy ‘YEAHHH!’ boomed through the house. “No, no!! This is betrayal! Deception! Dishonesty! Trickery! Treason!!!”

“Now you’re just reciting the dictionary.” Ingenium laughed, no hint of regret on his voice, distractedly nodding at his friends when they appeared at the door. “Look,” he whispered, conspiratorially, “I will need you to distract them until Shouta lowers his guard so I can sneak upon him. Hizashi would never pass up an opportunity to tickle him too, so you will be safe to run and get something useful for us to bribe them with, ok?” The younger gasped, quickly nodding. “Right. So, are you ready for your part of the plan, sidekick?”

“YES!” Iida chomped the air, voice louder than he originally intended, but his squeal even louder as the other Iida squeezed his side before any hint of what they were talking about could be noticed by the two guests, who now were now much closer, I might say.

“Now, now. It seems like a little listener here is excited for his so desired birthday tickles!!” Hizashi wiggled his fingers in his direction, meaneancily. “Oh! They grow up so fast! It feels like it was yesterday we would be playing heroes, and I, the most incredible villain LoudChaos would be defeated by Ingenium Junior and his vicious attacks of kicking his pillows at me!!” The blond pinched his cheek playfully, watching as the groan of his nephew dissolved in a determined look a few seconds later, energetic gestures following him.

“You will never be able to crack me, villains. Not even with embarrassing memories from my childhood!”

“I don’t know, I think those times when we had to buy at least three copies of your favorite plushie because otherwise you wouldn’t let us wash the original was pretty- ack! Hey, hey!” Tensei snickered as he tried to dodge from Tenya’s warning kicks, “I was kidding! I was kidding!”

“Want me to hold him?” Aizawa asked nonchalantly, a small quirk of his mouth showing his amusement about the whole situation. At Tensei's affirmative nod he held the younger’s arms above his head, briefly messing with his neat combed hair before smirking. “Congrats for being twelve years next to death, brat.”

Tenya deadpanned at him.

“Ooh, right, twelve!!” Hizashi’s fingers were teasingly getting closer, slowly and then even slowlier, almost touching a spot before pretending to launch at others, resulting in kicks and muffled shrieks from the younger one. “You know what that means, right, Shou?”

“Yes. We will have to tickle him for twelve entire years.”

“Aw, such a pity.”

“No! Lies! That is incorrect!”

“Is that so, not-so-little listener? What should we do then?”

“According to your rather silly and foolery tradition you should tickle me for twelve entire minutes. One minute for each year.”

Aizawa and Yamada shared a look, Tensei holding his chuckles and tears in the background. His brother was just way too much precious.

“We should what?” Shouta questioned with a voice completely devoid of emotion, maybe that is why Tenya felt the answer slip away from his lips easily even before he could register the potential trap.

“Tickle me!”

“Well,” Hizashi attacked, skilled fingers tickling and tickling and tickling every spot they could research. “If you insist.”

There were fingers dancing on his ribs and poking his stomach as a maddening prodding began to be delivered on his sides and even a squeeze found its way to his knee. A much more lazy, almost unbearably light touch drew shapes on his neck, scribbling lightly and softly to his ears and then all the way back to his collarbone, going from one side to another, over and over again.

“Coothie coothie coo, little listener!!” His loud laughter, intertwined with squeaks, yelps and guffaws due the mix between all the soft and energetic tickles, almost made the teasing disappear. Key word: Almost. “Have a tickle, tickle here!” He shook his head, trying to dislodge the fingers on his neck. “And tickle, tickle, tickle there!” Spidering on his shoulder blades made him squirm more. “Have all the tickles, tickly tickles everywhere!!”

“YOHOHOHOU WILL NOT DEFEHEHEAT ME!” Tenya’s smile was almost taking over his entire face, chuckles and giggles spilling freely from him. Yet, - he decided, - he has an important part of the plan and would not lose easily! That was the only reason why he continued firm on his position, figuratively laughing his head out, and definitely not because of how their attention and silliness made him feel happy, safe and loved.

“Of course not.” Shouta paused for a few pieces of seconds, checking his phone. “You still have five minutes left. I am sure you will agree to a defeat, eventually.”

“Nehehever!” Iida did his best to shout, quick, airy snickers floating in the air when Yamada decided to give him a break, leaving only Shouta’s torment to keep the other smiling.

“Hey, hey, hey, little listener!” Tenya knew this tune. He knew that when Uncle Hizashi used that he was planning something. His smile became wobblier and he refused to open his eyes. “Come on, don’t let me hang on here! Look at me, pleaaase?”

The boy just shook his head, eyes still firmly closed.

“Shoouuu, he doesn’t want to see the big, great, amazing surprise I have for him! That is not fair.”

“He is smart. It’s not his fault for your lack of charisma.”

“Gaaasp! You wound me! Friendship ended with Ereaserhead, now my new best friend is Tensei!”

A pause.

“Buuuut, the vacancy is still open if maybe, just maaaybe,” A wiggly finger tickled under his chin, a snort flew in the air, “a clever teenager with a cute laughter and blue hair decides to open his eyes…”

“Yohohou will not crahack me!”

“Please,” Poke, “Please, please, pleasepleaseplease!” Poke, poke, pokepokepoke-

“Stop!” And then he finally opened his eyes, finding a very smiley Hizashi in front of him, making a silly face. He half groaned and half giggled, the former action only due Aizawa’s tickles, of course.

“Aw, you didn’t find it funny?” The blonde crossed his arms, pretending to think about his next move. “Donut worry, then! I know something that will make you laugh!!”

And then, in a blink of an eye, he blew a gigantic raspberry on his tummy.

In the exact moment Tenya’s loud, uncontrollable, squeaky belly laughter exploded, Aizawa let go of his arms, a surprised, sharp snorts coming out as Tensei hugged him from behind, his hands being quick to attack his unprotect armpits, low muffled squeals and rumbling chuckles beginning to float in the air.

Tenya fell on his knees, hugging his stomach and tittering non stop as Yamada tenderly ruffled his hair, giving the boy’s cheeks another gentle pinch before getting his attention captured by his best friend’s tickled laughter, his wicked grin making another appearance.

“Is it already Tickle Shouta hours??” He cracked and wiggled his fingers, making a whole show of getting prepared, crackling in delight as the black haired adult laughed harder at the silliness, laying completely limp on Ingenium’s embrace, face starting to be colored by a light red, legs kicking and a hand hiding his mouth, even if the corner of his smile was still clearly visible.

And, as Iida laid on the cold floor, rarefied giggles escaping from time to time, as new laughter and teases filled the room, he thought that he actually didn’t mind that much that such foolery, silly tradition had wormed its way in their family.

56 notes · View notes

plant-flwrs · 3 years

Note

Hiii, i love your writing. I was wondering if you could do a remus lupin imagine. Were its mutual pinnin but they dont know the other like them. And sirus gets tired of it and takes pollyjuice to look like remus and get you to confess🥺

under the mistletoe // remus lupin

masterlist!

a/n: oh my god i’ve been non-stop reading atyd and it is my new obsession. it’s completely canon to me now. ty for ur request! i used they/them pronouns because you didn’t specify, so i hope that’s alright <3 oh! also! im gonna try this new thing w my fics to see if they flow better that way; instead of just jumping in time i’ll put a little indicator (-). wanted to try it out, dunno if i’ll keep using it. i’m so excited for christmas and this put me in an even more christmasy mood omg

summary: Staying at Hogwarts for the holidays seemed like the best way to avoid distractions, but with the Marauders there, distractions were guaranteed. Especially when your crush on Remus proves to be incredibly distracting.

cw: underage drinking (hangover vomiting), swearing (harmless, classic Sirius things)

(8k) (haven’t written this much in so long wow i forgot i could)

----------

The Gryffindor common room was your most favorite place in Hogwarts. It was warm and comforting, and you had some of your best memories there. With just a glance around the room you could feel your entire school career in just one room.

Though, now that you were in your sixth year, it wasn’t the leisurely place it used to be.

All around you, books touched any bare surface there was. N.E.W.T.’s were sooner than you’d like, sooner than anyone liked, and you were filled with anxiety. You knew your strenuous studying was a bit soon, but you felt like you had the weight of the world on your shoulders.

You felt so stressed, in fact, that not even Lily Evans could convince you to go home for the holidays that Christmas.

“Exams are months away, Y/n!” she sighed as you fell down onto the couch beside her, narrowly returning before curfew from the library, “You ought to enjoy Christmas.”

“I will enjoy it. Here,” you said, rolling your head back and closing your eyes.

You felt sore, as if you had run a marathon, but you had been locked away in the library all day.

Part of you, the smallest part, blamed Remus Lupin for this newfound obsession. Your fellow Gryffindor, the most studious boy in your year, was the initial reason for your new studying habits. You had started going to the library in an attempt to steal glances at him, an innocent crush that you most definitely let overcome you.

Remus had always gone to the library, you knew that, but ever since your O.W.L.’s he seemed to take extra pride in his work. You couldn’t blame him for secluding himself in the library, for that was the only place on campus that it seemed his rowdy friends did not go.

“You can’t enjoy Christmas alone,” Lily tutted, pulling the massive textbook off your lap and putting it on the table in front of you.

“You’re staying for the holidays, too?”

Sirius had just bounded down the stairs from the boys dormitories, his usual mischievous smirk on his face.

“Yes, they are,” Lily answered for you, turning to look at Sirius as he hovered behind you near the stairs.

“Well, that’s lucky,” he said, acting as if he had a secret he took pride in no one else knowing.

“Why is that, Sirius?” Lily sighed, becoming annoyed.

“Remus, James, Peter, and I are staying, too,” he said, smirk turning into a boyish smile.

“You are?” you opened your eyes and turned to face him, finally.

He met your gaze and nodded excitedly, seeming to already have the Christmas spirit in him.

“So you won’t be alone!” Lily said excitedly, then turned towards Sirius with a more dull tone, “Not the best company, but at least not alone.”

Sirius scoffed in mock offence, scrunching his face up with imaginary tears as he stomped back up the stairs.

“God, that lot is so bizarre,” she groaned, turning back to you on the couch to see you dozing off.

(-)

Snow fell on the grounds of Hogwarts, and you gazed at it from a fogged up window in the library.

Lily had gone, Mary had gone, Marlene had gone, just about everyone had gone. You had never stayed at Hogwarts for the holidays before, and you knew not many people did, but you expected more than there were.

No Slytherins had stayed, which was a welcomed absence from those who did. You knew the two Hufflepuffs that remained, but only because you had classes with them in your fourth year. The Ravenclaws that stayed, there couldn’t have been more than five of them, were often holed up the in the library with you. There were the most Gryffindors, five, including you and the marauders.

You were almost surprised that James had gone through with staying; Remus had mentioned wonderful things about the Potters and the Christmases they hosted. Still, he was here, cheerful as ever.

As your eyes blurred with tiredness and the window became nearly too fogged to see through, you sighed in frustration.

You missed your family, you missed home, and you really regretted staying at school. You decided to give yourself the day off from studying. With a glance down at your watch, you saw it was nearly lunch time anyways. You had slept in and missed breakfast, coming straight to the library, and your stomach felt empty.

You made your way to the common room, wanting to drop off the heavy books you had accumulated. Mumbling the password to the portrait, you stumbled through without noticing the rowdy conversation coming towards you.

You ran right into James’ chest, stumbling back and already mumbling an apology.

“Y/n?” he asked happily, as if he had been looking for you.

“Hey, guys,” you sighed, forcing a polite smile when all you really wanted to do was collapse on the couch and sleep for days.

“Sirius told us you were staying, but I’d thought you’d changed your mind. Haven’t seen you since the holiday started!” James’s booming and joyful voice made you want to cringe away, but you couldn’t manage anything less than a small smile at his kindness.

“I’ve been in the library,” you explained, chuckling at the horrified look on three of the four faces.

“You’re worse than I’d thought,” Sirius started, cut off by a sharp elbow to the ribcage by Remus, which only seemed to encourage him.

“We can’t have that,” James finished for him, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

“Oi,” Remus started, casting a sympathetic smile at you as he tried to stop his friends from potentially insulting you.

“Why don’t you come have lunch with us?” Peter squeaked from behind James as he glanced at the two dark-headed boys for some sort of approval, “We were just on our way down.”

“What a great idea, Wormtail!” Sirius boomed, earning himself another elbow to the side from Remus.

You glanced nervously at the boys in front of you, trying to discern if they were setting you up for a joke or teasing you.

“You don’t have to-” Remus blurted out, his cheeks pink, “-I mean, if you’re busy with your studies. I know how hard your working-”

“Nonsense, Moony!” James smiled, levitating your bag off your shoulder and easily landing it on the floor somewhere behind him, “they have to eat!”

You chuckled, ducking your head down as James slung his arm around your shoulder and escorted you back through the portrait hole.

You felt lighter immediately. Whether it was the absence of your heavy bag, or the way the boys’ easy conversation and laughter felt so inviting and warm, you did not know.

The self-pity you had been feeling only a moment ago seemed to go, too. James kept his brotherly arm around your shoulder all the way to the Great Hall, where he split his path and sat across from you. Sirius followed you down the isle, continuing his teasing conversation with Peter. James sat between Remus and Peter, his smile never faltering. He acted as if eating lunch with his mates and their tag-along was the best thing he had ever done.

Remus was quiet, almost shy, but you knew that. You had known him your entire time at Hogwarts, and the crush you had on him seemed to last that whole time. You had seen him come out of his shell as the years went on, but he didn’t seem nearly as comfortable as when he was with his friends.

You stifled your laughter with the back of your hand, blushing slightly at Sirius’s rude joke as he bumped his shoulder into yours. You looked down at your plate, pushing around the mashed potatoes that had grown cold.

“Sirius!” Peter yelped, his eyes wide in shock as he nervously glanced to you.

Sirius had made a crude joke, you knew that, but you hadn’t heard it. You and Remus had been meeting in short bursts of eye contact and the small action alone was making your spine shiver.

You looked up from your potatoes, seeing the boys fading with laughter and delve back into their food. That was something you never understood about boys; they sat down, ate and ate until they were done, and then got to talking. You, Lily, Marlene, and Mary could talk for hours while you ate, but the boys seemed unable to do more than one thing at once.

The thought brought a fond smile to your face, and you felt something bump against your shin. Looking up from your plate, you met Remus’s eyes again.

“What’s got you smiling?” he asked, his voice kind with a teasing nature behind it.

James looked up from his plate in the middle of shoving what had to be an entire chicken breast in his mouth, and began cooing at you as your cheeks flushed.

“’M just happy you lot stayed,” you blushed, refusing to meet Remus’s eyes, “would have been dreadful without your company.”

Sirius, without missing a beat, threw his arm around your shoulders and drew you into his chest. His large hand went to your head, ruffling up your hair. You cringed away, giggling and attempting to lay your hair smooth.

Everyone’s cheers in agreeance died down, and James roped Sirius into a heated discussion about Quidditch as Peter hung onto his every word.

“‘M happy you stayed, too,” Remus mumbled from across the table, his head ducked down as a blush was creeping up the back of his neck.

You fought the urge to break the eye contact, giving him a smile so wide that your cheeks burned.

You all returned to the common room with full stomachs and wide smiles, courtesy of James, who had just announced his newest plan at getting Lily’s attention. You just finished listing off all the reasons she would hate it, and he clambered through the portrait hole with a dazed smile that a lovesick puppy would have.

You trailed behind the boys, watching them all fall onto comfortable couches and armchairs. You looked at your limp backpack indignantly, choosing instead to follow them.

You curled up in an armchair that was across a large couch occupied by James and Sirius and to the left of another armchair occupied by Peter. Peter leaned forwards to rest his elbows on his knees, setting up a new chess game for him and Remus to play. Remus sat on the ground, eyelevel with the board. He noticed you looking at him and gave you a kind smile that made you look away, blushing.

The night was spent in leisure. You had barely wanted to get up for dinner, even Sirius suggested making Peter go down to the kitchens so they wouldn’t all have to go to the hall. In the end, you all went, having just as much of a good time as you did at lunch.

You wished them a goodnight after you fell asleep watching Sirius and Remus levitating the most valuable things they could find in the room, sending Peter into anxious fits every time they pretended to loose their balance. You groggily walked up the stairs to the dormitories, leaving your homework downstairs with a satisfied sigh.

For a few moments before you fell asleep again, Remus’s brilliant and bright smile was burned behind your eyes.

(-)

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Sirius groaned, throwing himself dramatically onto the couch with a huff.

“Shud up,” Remus groaned, falling into the armchair you had been sitting in. He could smell you on the chair, your scent floating into his nose like it was intoxicating.

“Really botched that one, mate,” James said with a chuckle, picking up a few of his Quidditch magazines off of the floor and putting them back on the coffee table, where Peter had accidentally knocked them off.

“Romance is confusing! How was I supposed to know?!” Remus groaned, lifting his head from his hands with a desperate look.

James gave him a knowing smirk, and Sirius groaned again.

“It was obvious! You always offer to walk a romantic interest home,” Sirius said, twirling his wand in his hand.

“They were just going upstairs,” Peter mumbled, seeming to agree with Remus.

“It’s alright, Moony,” James said, standing from the couch with a look of determination, “you’ve got all week to seduce them.”

“Shud up,” Remus groaned, repeating his request from earlier.

His eyes fell to the stairs you had climbed moments ago, remembering the peaceful look on your face as you slept, the adorable stretch you did once you woke up, the tired way you climbed the stairs, and that beautiful smile you gave them when you said goodnight.

Remus decided to stay in the common room for a bit longer once his friends had went upstairs, trying to force every second from the time you spent together that day into his memory permanently.

(-)

You woke up feeling more rested than you had in weeks. The sun was barely in the sky when you opened the curtains, your unusually empty room flooded with orange light. You dressed quickly, donning muggle clothes that you found incredibly comfortable.

You went down to the common room, seeing that the mess the boys had made last night was either cleaned by them or house elves. There was no sign of life in the Gryffindor tower, besides yourself, so you assumed the four were still soundly asleep upstairs.

You found your backpack, overflowing with loose papers, and shrugged it onto your shoulders. You had decided to get some work done today, seeing as your day off the day before was not scheduled.

You ate a quick breakfast in the empty hall, finding it odd and strangely discomforting to be in such a large room by yourself. It felt as if you were out past curfew.

The library was the same case. Madam Pince was not even at her desk yet, and you settled into a table by the window. You opened it a sliver, enjoying the cold winter air that seeped into the room. The sunlight warmed you, and the wind was gentle enough to not rustle your papers.

You dove into your work, feeling considerably better than yesterday, or the past month. Your muscles were loose, and the pressure you had been putting on yourself was no longer there. One night of fun proved to be harmless, and so did the marauders.

You smiled at the thought of it, at the thought of your little day with Remus. He had been so kind to you, so funny and charming. You had never liked someone as much as you liked Remus.

You found your gaze drifting out the window, looking past the castle and Hagrid’s hut and out into the Forbidden Forest. You couldn’t think of anything but the curly headed, dirty blonde boy. The way his eyes nervously darted to yours, his sheepish smile. The way he could easily make James, Sirius, and Peter fall into doubled-over laughter, almost as if good-naturedness came to him as easily as walking did.

The sun rose in the sky, and it was almost time for lunch. Even with your mind distracted, you had gotten done more work than you had expected. You decided that if the boys asked you to have lunch with them again, you wouldn’t decline.

It was as if your thoughts were read, because just as you were organizing your papers to put them away, Remus walked into the library. You fumbled a bit, realizing you smudged some fresh ink on your newly written Potions notes. You didn’t care, though, smiling widely and waving Remus over.

“Alright?” he asked groggily, rubbing his eyes as if he had just woken up.

“Yeah, you?” you couldn’t help but stare at him. His voice was deep and thick with sleep, and he pulled the sleeves of his sweater over his slender hands. He had a muggle novel tucked under his arm, and he put it on the table as he sat down across from you.

“Eh,” he started, looking at you with slight amusement, “James woke up at the crack of dawn to go to the pitch, and he woke up Sirius when he did. Sirius is a git if he gets woken up before noon.”

“That’s not a surprising piece of information,” you chuckled, setting down your papers and getting comfortable in your seat again.

“Yeah, best to stay out of the dorm when Sirius is in a mood. Peter went to ask for some extension on a paper he forgot to do,” Remus smiled fondly at his friends flaws, opening his book and propping it on his knee, “so I figured I’d come find you.”

“You found me,” you opened your ink bottle and dipped your quill into it, going over your Potions notes and fixing the smudged ink.

You were a bit disappointed by Remus’s reasons for coming to see you. Part of you had hoped he missed you, or enjoyed your presence. But the truth was that you were his only other option for company. Your chest deflated slightly as you stole a glance at him only to find him deeply invested in his book. Many conversation starters bubbled in your throat but you couldn’t bring yourself to voice any of them.

It was about an hour of silence in the library before Remus suggested lunch. He helped you pack up your things, humming under his breath as he led the way out of the library.

Lunch was soup, which you didn’t mind too much. Sirius was already at the table with James when you arrived. Remus sat next to you, across from his friends.

Sirius had his head propped up in his hand, lazily bringing soup to his mouth before dropping the spoon into the bowl with a clatter as his eyes fluttered shut. James rolled his eyes, shoving the bowl of soup away from him and wiping up the splattered mess from the table.

James eagerly dove into a cheery conversation about his solo Quidditch practice, and Remus reluctantly listened. You felt as exhausted as Sirius looked, even though you had a wonderful nights sleep. You hadn’t felt so tired until your upsetting thoughts about Remus, but now you could barely keep your eyes open. You hadn’t been sitting for more than ten minutes, your soup was barely eaten, but you just wanted to curl up in your dorm.

Peter came into the hall, filing down the row where you had Remus were sitting. He was getting close, and you stood.

“Here, Peter, have my seat,” you said, slowly standing as James’ face contorted with confusion. You could see him working out pleas for you to stay, and your heart warmed a bit.

“I’m gonna have a lay down,” you excused, not waiting for Sirius’s head to lift from his hand or for James to suggest all of you walking back together.

As you walked away, you heard Peter begin to chat about his essay extension.

(-)

Remus knew he had done something wrong. He knew it.

You had seemed happy to see him, you smiled at him, you were friendly, but at some point he said something to make you close off. He was looking forward to spending the morning in the library with you. He had made up the excuse of getting out of the dorm, knowing that with Pete and James gone and Sirius out cold, it would be fairly peaceful. Remus, however, wanted to see you.

You looked heavenly dressed in casual muggle clothes with the morning sun lighting your face. He was happy to sit with you, but you didn’t seem happy to sit with him.

He wondered if you were bothered by him and his friends. If yesterday hadn’t been as fun as he thought it was, and if you just wanted to be left alone. He felt a surge of annoyance with James for being so forward, but quickly drowned that out. It wasn’t James’s fault.

Remus stared into his bowl of soup, not listening to Pete as he complained about the essay he had to write.

James indulged Pete, listening to his complaints with sympathy as he dipped his bread into his soup. Sirius, however, could not be bothered.

He had come to attention when you left the table, watching your hunched shoulders and nervous hands pushing your hair off your face. He had even caught your sad glance over you shoulder at Remus before you finally turned to go upstairs. Sirius was thinking, he was thinking hard. He could read you and Remus like an open book. He had known you liked Remus since you started showing up to the library whenever Remus did, no matter how subtle you thought you were being.

Sirius looked at his friend, confusion knitted in his eyebrows as he hunched over his food. He gasped silently, catching James’s attention, as his eyes lit up with an idea.

(-)

For the next couple of days, it was not hard to avoid your fellow housemates. James and Sirius seemed to be sneaking off as often as they could, clutching their cloaks close to them as if they had something underneath them.

You avoided Remus, who presumably only had Pete to keep him company now, by staying in your dorm. The library wasn’t the only place you could study, and you spread your books all across Lily’s bed. You had begun to enjoy studying in your dorm, it was private and quiet, with no Madam Pince staring you down from her desk.

It wasn’t that you disliked the marauders’ company, because you didn’t. You really liked hanging out with the boys. You had just wanted to prevent any more heartache when hanging out with Remus. You had obsessed over your last interaction in the library, convincing yourself it would be best to stay away from the boy as to not attach yourself any further.

It was nearing the weekend, Christmas on the upcoming Saturday. You didn’t want to be in solitude on Christmas, but your pride prevented you from asking to hang out with the boys. You didn’t know what Sirius and James were up to, and you didn’t want to know. You didn’t feel like hanging out with Peter, because being in his presence alone made you just as anxious as he was. And Remus, Remus was an entirely different story. Just seeing Remus made your heart race unnervingly.

On Thursday night, you crept down the dormitory stairs and into the common room. You stopped and waited to hear for Peter and Remus, but it seemed they were still in their room. You were going down for an early dinner, hoping to eat quickly before everyone else came down.

You seemed to be successful, your plate was nearly cleared and there was no sign of anyone else. You were serving yourself pudding, your favorite pudding, when someone sat across from you.

You looked up. Your throat closed involuntarily, and your spoon froze on it’s way to your mouth. You straightened your back, eyes widening at the sight of him, and wiped your mouth nervously with your napkin.

“Hey, Remus,” you said, smiling politely at him as he began to dish himself food, “where are the rest of the boys?”

“Just me,” he said, his voice sounding a little higher than usual.

“Are you alright?” you watched him carefully as you noticed his posture was straighter than usual.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, looking at you now.

You looked at him, squinting your eyes. He seemed off, but you figured he could be nervous without his friends around.

“Okay,” you trailed off, returning to your pudding.

“Haven’t seen you much, recently,” he said confidently, the usual softness in his voice absent.

“I’ve just been up in my dorm,” you said, still gazing at him cautiously.

“Don’t want to spend time with Sirius, James, and I?”

You bit your lip, looking at him with a serious expression. Remus never excluded Peter when he was talking about his friends, but Sirius often did. You noted it, unsure what that could mean. Had Remus asked Sirius on advice at how to talk to you? The thought made you suppress nervous giggles.

“No, it’s not that,” you felt your cheeks warm under his blatant stare, “you know how crazy I am about the N.E.W.T.’s.”

Remus chuckled under his breath, slowly eating his pudding. This was also weird, because Remus usually devoured any food in front of him as if he was a starving animal.

“Remus, are you sure your alright?” you squinted at him, dropping your spoon and propping your chin up with your hand.

“Yes, I’m fine,” he said nonchalantly, squinting back at you.

He had remarkably less patience and ease than usual.

“Okay, well, I’m done eating. I think I’ll go back to the tower now,” you stood slowly, watching his face contort with urgency.

“Wait!” he called, standing too, “wait, come sit for a second.”

You joined him again, clearly suspicious. You wondered if he was distracting you while the boys set up a prank.

“I need to ask you something,” he whispered seriously, leaning closer to you over the table.

“What?”

“Do you fancy me?” he smirked at you, mischief in his eyes.

At first you wanted to shrink away, blush madly and sputter out lies to conceal your true feelings. But you didn’t. You kept his stare, a blank face looking into his daring one. You decided to make a guess.

“Sirius?” you said confidently, so it didn’t sound like a wild guess. You knew it was crazy. Surely, Sirius would never transfigure into his best friend to eat dinner alone with you and ask him about your feelings for him. Surely.

“How did you know!?” he asked, his voice now completely Sirius’s instead of his weird imitation of Remus’s voice.

“What!?” you questioned back, surprised that you were right, “It’s actually you, Sirius?”

Sirius’s face, well, still Remus’s face, dropped with disappointment, upset that he gave himself away.

“Yes,” he mumbled, moving his hand to tuck his hair behind his ear, only to remember Remus’s hair wasn’t that long.

“What are you playing at? How did you do this?” you motioned your hands at him, sounding more amazed than angry.

“Polyjuice Potion,” he said mischievously, his eyes meeting yours at the tone of your voice.

“That’s really advance stuff, Sirius,” you said, slightly impressed as you leaned back and crossed your arms.

“I had some help,” he said sneakily, and suddenly what he and James had been sneaking off for made sense.

“Are you two planning something? Testing out the costume on me?” you said excitedly, hoping the boys would let you in on whatever prank they had planned.

“Well, about that,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “you sort of were the plan.”

You looked at him, confused. It felt weird to be talking so casually with Remus, and you fought the urge to blush every time he looked at you, knowing it was actually Sirius.

“I know you fancy Remus,” Sirius said, sounding a bit guilty.

This time, you could not resist shrinking away and blushing. You looked down at your lap, feeling incredibly embarrassed.

“But,” Sirius started again, his voice oddly comforting and kind, “I know Remus likes you, too.”

Your eyes shot up to meet Sirius’s, your face becoming somehow even more flushed.

“You were trying to get me to admit it to you? That I like him?” you asked him, heart racing.

“I just wanted you to confirm it,” he said, sounding even more guilty, “I didn’t want to try and set you two up if you didn’t like him back-”

“Set us up?!” you interrupted, eyes wide.

“Yeah,” he said casually.

“How do you plan on doing that, then?” You tried to sound annoyed in an attempt to hide just how excited you were.

Sirius had waved over James immediately, who has hiding behind a pillar in the courtyard looking in on you and Sirius. The two began talking almost as animatedly as two schoolgirls stricken with an exciting prospect of romance.

You watched, lazily propping your chin on your hand as they rambled on about the ways they thought you should confront Remus.

James had been quite keen on them influencing Remus to confront you, and Sirius reckoned you ought to “grow a pair” and kiss him yourself. James was nearly affronted by the idea, insisting on a classic and romantic gesture from Remus’s behalf.

Either way, you couldn’t fight an embarrassed blush that seemed permanently glued onto your cheeks. You swallowed heavily at any mention of kissing, which was being discussed at length. You had half a mind to stop the hopeful ramblings, but James and Sirius were Remus’s best friends, they had to be somewhat right about his feelings for you.

The conversation got remarkably easier, too, once the potion had warn off and it was Sirius in front of you instead of a fake Remus.

You looked into the courtyard, enjoying the cold air lofting into the room through the open doors, when you noticed Remus and Peter entering the room. The cold air had been helping in cooling your cheeks, but at the sight of Remus’s wide and carefree smile, they warmed immediately.

“Shut up!” you mumbled harshly to the still ranting dark-haired boys in front of you, kicking them each in the shin for good measure.

They looked offended, but Sirius caught your eye and smirked once he realized why they were silenced.

“Have you guys eaten already?” Peter asked, sounding disappointed as he sat next to you and saw your empty bowl of pudding.

“Just had an early lunch,” James said merrily, moving to scoop himself another bowl of pudding after he had eaten an entire lunch while he and Sirius were talking, “but we’ll stay while you guys eat.”

You swallowed hard, looking at James with wide eyes as he quirked an eyebrow at you. You were planning on leaving the second Remus sat between James and Sirius, right across from you, but now you couldn’t be so obvious.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, Y/n,” Peter mumbled from beside you, stuffing his face with a large heaping of peas.

You looked to Remus almost automatically, only to see him looking questioningly at you. You couldn’t resist the small smile that flirted on your lips as he averted your gaze quickly.

“I can’t get much work done with you lot around,” you teased, clearing the table in front of you and resting your elbows there, “I’ve been in my dorm, most days.”

“What about for Christmas?” Peter pried curiously, “Will you leave your dorm for Christmas?”

“Of course they will!” James boomed from across the table, causing a few tired looking Ravenclaws who were just coming in to glare at him apprehensively, “Starting Christmas Eve, they won’t be able to get rid of us.”

“Oh,” you looked to him, eyebrows raised in entertainment, “I won’t?”

Remus looked between you and James with an excited smile.

“Of course not,” Sirius said for James, picking a carrot off of Peter’s plate from across the table.

“For a limited time,�� James said mysteriously, “you will have the honor of becoming a temporary Marauder.”

“They what?” Peter said from his goblet of pumpkin juice, causing some to splash back in his face.

“Peter!” Sirius groaned, annoyed with the boy, “Get in the holiday spirit!”

“Don’t worry Pete, just for a limited time. The holidays are a season of extending great charity to others,” James said, talking with humor in his tone.

“Charity?” you repeated, an amused smile on your face.

“We don’t let in just anyone,” Remus said, looking only at you.

When your eyes met his, you felt all the air leave your lungs. Your jaw clenched in an attempt to gather some sort of consciousness, but all you could do was look back at Remus.

“That’s true, ‘tis a great honor,” Sirius had raised his goblet in some sort of toast, and you had barely noticed until Remus was raising his glass.

You broke the contact, finally, and sputtered for a moment before you could find your goblet on the table. You rose it, hoping to lower it quickly as you noticed a slight tremble in your hand. Remus connected his goblet with yours gently, looking at you again while you were intent on avoiding his eyes. He had some sort of knowing smile on his face, and you felt very exposed to him. It felt like he was reaching in your chest and squeezing your heart for his own pleasure, and it scared you to know you could not tell him to stop.

(-)

Christmas Eve was very celebrated amongst the boys.

So celebrated, in fact, that Sirius insisted Christmas morning was a day for hangovers.

He had brought out the firewhisky fairly early into the afternoon. James had looked at him with nervousness, but nonetheless took a heaping sip when offered a glass. You sipped casually, not feeling all too comfortable with the chaos that seemed to lurk in Sirius’s eyes.

By the time the sun was beneath the horizon, Sirius and James were dancing some sort of Irish jig on a table, and Peter was very angrily talking to himself in a mirror. You and Remus, neither of you having very much to drink, sat comfortably on a couch, watching the night unfold.

“Why aren’t you drinking with them?” you asked Remus, glancing at his full cup and tensed shoulders.

He glanced down at you, nervously biting his lip and running a hand through his hair. Oh, how you wanted to touch his hair.

“I don’t really feel like being hungover on Christmas,” he said, noticing your full cup as well, “what about you?”

“I don’t think Lily would ever forgive me if she found out I got drunk with you lot on Christmas Eve,” you teased, smiling to yourself at the fond thought of your friend.

“I miss Lily,” Remus remarked simply, bringing his cup to his lips and taking a large gulp.

“Me too,” you sighed, doing the same and hoping it would ease your nerves, “she wrote to me yesterday. She’s having a lovely Christmas. Her sister is being awful, but that’s per usual.”

You and Remus shared a knowing smile, both thinking of the complaints you had heard from Lily about her sister.

“Have you written back yet?”

“No, not yet. I was going to wait until after Christmas,” you were waiting to write Lily back so you could thank her first for the undoubtedly wonderful present she got you. You didn’t know how, but Lily Evans always gave the most thoughtful presents.

“When you do, tell her we miss her,” Remus said softly, his cheeks beginning to flush pink as he watched with a smile his friends dancing.

You nodded, ducking your head to hide a smile.

“Oi!” James yelled, stopping his dance suddenly.

You and Remus froze as he looked at the pair of you, each wearing an entertained smile. James hopped off the table with ease, as if he was not drunk out of his mind and as if the table wasn’t a good four feet off the ground.

“Come dance,” James said once he finally reached the both of you, though, only offering you his hand.

He waved his wand at a muggle radio they had in the corner, and the volume increased. Sirius smiled widely, refreshing his drink with the dwindling amount of firewhisky left. You cautiously took James’s hand, letting him spin you as you giggled.

James caught Remus’s eye, the blonde boy watching you with adoration. James pulled you close, resting one hand on your shoulder as the other held your hand, and leaned in close to your ear.

“Moony is watching you,” he slurred, sounding excited, “I reckon he’ll make a move tonight if Sirius doesn’t finish all the liquor for himself!”

James pulled away, giggling once again like a schoolgirl. You could not help his infectious laughter, your forehead falling onto his shoulder as you laughed loudly. As if on que, Remus stood and walked with determination to Sirius. He took Sirius’s goblet and downed it, smiling widely and accomplishedly afterwards. He climbed on the table with Sirius, who had long forgotten about his stolen alcohol, and began awkwardly moving his lanky body in a way that could be called dancing in the most generous of terms. This made you laugh even more, and James had to nearly fully support your weight as your knees buckled with your hard laughter.

It was shaping up to be a lovely Christmas Eve.

(-)

Christmas, as Sirius had predicted, was a morning for hangovers. You had barely glanced at your mounds of presents at the foot of your bed, instead throwing on your warmest sweater and going immediately to breakfast.

It had been decorated, as it had all week, with great care. Today, however, the tree had been alit with wonderful and delicate decorations, sparkling under the enchanted ceiling. The entire room somehow smelled of pine, and the warm feeling of a fireplace shot down your spine when you sat down.

You cradled a cup of tea, hunching over and fighting the urge to fall back asleep at the table. You couldn’t bear to look at food yet, regretting the glasses you drank once Sirius had found that second bottle of firewhisky.

There was no sign of life in the castle, besides the lovely decorations, and you found yourself grateful.

It was as if, however, that you cursed yourself the second you thought this.

“Merry Christmas, Y/n!” James shouted from the entry way of the castle, his loud voice assaulting your ears even from such a distance. Beside him, Peter, Sirius, and Remus cringed away in pain, shrinking down and walking past him into the hall.

“Bloody. Fucking. Hell,” Sirius groaned once he sat down next to you, his head hitting the table as soon as he was still.

Remus sat on the other side of you, going at once for heaping servings of the hot food. You swallowed the vomit in your throat at the sight of so much food, forcing your eyes deep into your tea. James happily sat down next to Peter on the other side of the table, patting his friend merrily on the back. Peter winced audibly, a pained look on his face.

“How are you not hungover?” you whispered once you were sure you would not vomit.

“He never gets hungover,” Remus groaned from beside you, his mouth full of beans.

“Never?” you repeated, wincing as you reached for more tea.

“Never!” James said happily, obviously enjoying his wonderful, wonderful gift.

“Oi!” Sirius groaned, his head still buried in his arms.

James smiled.

“Eating helps, really,” Remus said from beside you, glancing an earnest look at you as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Mmmmm,” you groaned in response, ducking your head down as Sirius was doing to avoid vomiting.

“What a lovely Christmas this will be!” James said, earning a unanimous groan in response.

(-)

Getting back to the tower was a slow and painful process that included many bathroom breaks and headaches. You and Sirius had both ducked into the loo twice each to vomit, and James supposed it had something to do with climbing the stairs. Peter was limping for some reason, though you could not remember him hurting either of his legs the night before. Remus was nearly as recovered as James, just looking a bit tired.

After you were sure you had emptied your stomach of the tea you drank for breakfast, you were feeling a bit better. Your legs felt a little wobbly, and Remus must have noticed, because he offered his arm for you to steady yourself on as you walked along. Your mind was so foggy you almost had not noticed, but his strong arm beneath your fingers was enough to clear you up a little. You held him close to you, hoping the hangover was excuse enough. James gave you and encouraging smile, nodding enthusiastically. You were sure Sirius would be giving you a smirk if he wasn’t basically crawling down the halls.

Once you reached the common room, Remus had not retracted his arm. In fact, he had interlocked his hand with yours, still with your arms looped, and led you over to a couch. He sat very close to you and still did not remove himself from your grasp even as you were sitting. You felt so comfortable and warm next to him, you could not help but close your eyes and let your head fall on his shoulder.

(-)

James retreated upstairs with Peter. Peter had wanted a quick and undisturbed nap, and James returned downstairs a few moments later with his practice Quidditch robes on. Sirius had collapsed on an armchair the second he crawled into the room, and showed no indication of life as he fell into a deep sleep. James gave Remus an encouraging smile and two thumbs up, but did not dare to speak in case you weren’t asleep. Remus rolled his eyes, but was truly quite happy with the position he had found himself in.

Your arms were looped, hands intertwined, and your head rested delicately on his shoulder. He leaned his head against yours, breathing in the smell of your shampoo.

He had wanted to stay there forever.

(-)

When they all awoke, James was out of his Quidditch robes and in a thick wool sweater. He was polishing his broom with what looked like a new polishing set, perched on the armrest of a couch across from you and Remus. You had woken up when Sirius did, his loud yawns and stretches filling the room. When you lifted your head, you bumped into Remus’s head, and he woke up. Your cheek felt sore from pressing into his strong shoulder, and you looked down at you hands to see them still interlocked. You were sweaty and tired, but Remus looked down at you sleepily with complete happiness.

“Happy Christmas, you lazy bones,” James tutted like a mother would, putting down his broom and standing.

“Happy Christmas,” Remus said, smiling widely.

You sat up, removing yourself from Remus. He untangled your arms, removing his hand from yours. You felt sad at the absence, looking down at your lonely hand. Remus was looking too, and when you met his eyes he bit his bottom lip. With some slight hesitation, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you in for a side hug. You lingered, and he made no move to pull away, so you stayed there, tucked under his arm.

“I never looked at my presents this morning,” Sirius said, standing from his chair and motioning for James to follow him.

“Neither did I,” you said to Remus only, hearing the other two retreating upstairs.

“Want me to walk you up to your dorm?” he offered, adjusting his body so he could see your face.

You uncurled from him, nodding excitedly.

You stood from the couch, walking over to the stairs. You waited for Remus, watching as he slowly stood and stretched. You leaned against the door frame, supporting yourself on your hands behind you. Remus came over to you, walking slowly with a sleepy and dazed look on his face.

“Happy Christmas,” he repeated, only to you this time.

“Happy Christmas,” you said, smiling at him as he leaned against the door frame opposite of you.

It was a narrow space, and there were only a few inches between you two, but neither of you made any movement. You wanted to go upstairs and see what your family had sent, what Lily had given you, what all your friends had given you, but you couldn’t tear yourself from the handsome boy in front of you.

Your eyes danced all over his face, admiring his curly and unkempt hair that fell into his dark and kind eyes, his sharp jaw that you wanted to run your fingers across, his soft lips.

You were both so entrance in each other, that neither of you had noticed the greenery sprouting from the door frame above you. It was mistletoe, sprouting from the wooden door frame between you and Remus. Remus noticed, his eyes darting up at it. He looked down at you, seeing you had not noticed it, and chuckled.

This seemed to snap you out of it, and you stood upright, coming closer to Remus. You looked up at the growing plant, eyes widening when you saw the red berry forming before your eyes.

“Mistletoe?” Remus chuckled, entertained as he reached up and brushed it delicately with his slender fingers.

“Is it?” you managed to say, watching his hand.

“It is,” he said, retracting his hand and bringing it to rest on your cheek.

He gently cupped your face, pulling you close to him until your chests met and neither of your backs were touching the door frame. You closed the distance, meeting his lips with urgency and desperation. You didn’t care if James thought Remus ought to kiss you, you wanted nothing more than to kiss Remus. And Remus wanted nothing more than to kiss you. His other hand came to your waist, pulling you flush against him as his hand on your cheek moved to the side of your neck. You reached up and slid your hands from his shoulders to this neck and into his hair, feeling the soft curls between your fingers as you had wanted to for so long.

Remus pulled you impossibly close to him, as if he wanted nothing to come between you, until his force was moving you to lean against the door frame. The feeling of the wood was unexpected, and you gasped into Remus’s mouth when you felt it. Remus took this as an invitation to deepen the kiss, and you allowed him, sighing softly as his tongue explored your mouth.

“Mistletoe?!”

You and Remus broke apart, his hands still on you even though your bodies were no longer touching. You both looked up the stairs, seeing James, Sirius, and Peter looking down at you.

Sirius had the most mischievous smirk you had ever seen, sure that it would make Lily’s skin crawl if she saw it. James seemed so content that you’d think he’d just been kissed and Peter anxiously twirled his fingers as he averted your eyes, obviously feeling bad for interrupting.

“Mistletoe,” Remus said, his voice husk and his lips wet. It took a lot of will power to not sigh at the sight of him, or pull him in by his collar and kiss him again. Instead, you looked up at the boys like a deer caught in headlights.

“You owe me ten galleons,” James said to Sirius, causing Sirius to groan.

“How do you know he kissed them?!” Sirius complained, digging in his robe pockets for the money.

“He didn’t, I kissed him,” you said, looking up at Remus and licking your lips nervously.

“Hah! Hand it over, James,” Sirius gloated, removing his hand from his pocket and holding it out to James.

James groaned, still a smile on his lips, and handed Sirius the money.

“You didn’t think I’d kiss them first?” Remus asked Sirius, pulling you into his chest in a loving and protective way.

“Sorry, mate,” Sirius said with no remorse in his voice, climbing down the stairs and pushing past you and Remus.

James and Peter followed him, all fiddling with some new gift they had gotten. You looked up at Remus, deciding your Christmas presents could wait until Boxing Day, and pulled him out of the door way. You fell onto the couch, Remus following you, and you fell easily into conversation with the boys. Remus wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his chest.

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cappsikle · 4 years

Text

just a bunch of fools // george weasley

Request: omg ok hi!! I’m in love with your writing so I was wondering if I could request a George Weasley imagine where they’re at bill and fleur’s wedding, and him and the reader are dancing like complete idiots and totally making fools of themselves, but they don’t care. and they’re all happy and sort of forgetting that the wizarding world is super chaotic rn?? I can’t get this idea out of my head so thank u so much for helping it come to life and fueling my obsession w/ the twins lol<333

Pairing: george weasley x reader

Summary: with the weight of the world heavy on everyone’s shoulders, it feels good to just let loose.

Warnings: nope! (unless you count not proof-reading... haha...)

Word Count: 1.1k (i’m so sorry it’s short :(((

A/N: Ahhh omg this is my very first request!!! this made me sooo happy and I started writing straight away! I hope you like it! If any of you have requests feel free to send them in!

Also, would anyone like me to make a taglist?

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!!

---

You couldn’t even begin to describe how incredible everything was. Molly really outdid herself. Bill and Fleur’s wedding was nothing short of, for lack of a better word, magical. The atmosphere was full of love and joy and just plain old happiness, something that is really hard to come by these days. You and George and the rest of the guests sat through the reception with smiles, and you would be lying if you said you remained dry-eyed throughout the whole thing. But now, it was time for a party.

Bill and Fleur stood in the middle of the room, music filling the area as they begun their first dance as wife and husband. The look on their faces was nothing short of ecstatic, love for each other seeping from every fiber of their beings. As you watched them, you turned your eyes to George, who had his arm wrapped around your waist. He looked down at you and smiled a sweet smile, it was one of your favourite things to look at. You leaned up to place a delicate kiss on his cheek, his skin soft under your lips.

George's lips curl up into a sly smirk, his cheeks lifting with it, “what was for?”

You shrug your shoulders, “no reason, I just love you”

“Well in that case...” George leaned his head down to connect his lips with yours, placing his hand on the side of your neck. You pull away after a couple of seconds, not wanting to miss out on the first dance. But when you look up into George’s eyes, you almost forgot where you were and why you’re there. The crowd cheering as the bride and groom finished their first dance drew your eyes away from George, you both clapping and cheering with everyone else. You hoped this could be you someday. Whilst you and George hadn’t specifically discussed what the future may have in store for your relationship, you knew he was the one you wanted to marry.

You had gotten together in your fifth year, both of you dancing around your feelings before Fred had enough of the pining and locked you in a broom cupboard until you confessed. Since then, you’ve practically been attached at the hip. Come to think of it, you’ve never actually thanked Fred for doing what he did, but you knew his smug little self wouldn’t leave you alone if you did. You were dragged out of your thoughts, quite rudely if you might add, by George practically yanking you to the middle of the floor which resulted in you almost tripping over your feet. Classy.

“George, what are you doing?”

“Dancing, love. What does it look like?” you couldn’t help but to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of what you were seeing. George Weasley was many things, but a dancer he was not. His arms flailed like they weren’t attached to the rest of his body and his head bopped up and down completely out of tune to the music. Boy, he was an idiot. He was your idiot though, and you wouldn’t change a single thing about him.

Once again, George dragged you away from your thoughts and brought your body close to his, gripping your hips tightly so you didn’t run away from him, although you did try. “George, you know I can’t dance, please let me go!”

“doesn’t matter, love! Does it look like I can?” Well, you couldn’t exactly say yes. “C’mon, It’s a wedding! It’s a time of happiness and joy!” George grabbed both your hands as he started spinning the both of you around, and you couldn’t help but laugh loudly.

“Alright, alright! Just stop spinning me, I’m getting dizzy” George slowed down, giving you a minute to let the spinning in your head go away. Then, he placed one hand on your waist and the other gripped one of your hands as he started moving from side to side sporadically as a jazz type of music played. You knew you both looked like complete and utter nutters, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care in the slightest. You could feel the other guests’ eyeing you both, but honestly, all you could focus on was him in front of you.

For a moment, you forgot about the war that was raging on outside. As George spun you around and dipped you, it was like everything in the world felt alright. Your heart felt light, but full all the same as you looked at George and he looked at you. Goerge pulled you to stand up straight again and put both hands on your waist, your arms coming up to circle around his neck. That's when a slow song started playing, and you barely noticed the other guests grabbing their respective partners and joining you on the floor. Your eyes drifted to Bill and Fleur, smiling up at each other, and you felt one of your own grace your lips.

George followed your eye-line and smiled to himself. He then lent down so his mouth was right next to your ear, his breath fanning over your neck, “that’ll be us someday,” your heart begun to beat harder in your chest at his words, not really knowing how to respond. And Goerge wasn’t lying either. He thought about the little black box was in his drawer back at the Burrow, hidden from you and his family. Fred was the only one aware for his plans, naturally, and Goerge suddenly started feeling giddy for what was to come.

He wasn’t entirely sure when he was going to do it, but he knew for sure just how much he loved you. Goerge left a chaste kiss on your temple before lifting his head up to look at you, meeting your eyes. You both smiled at each other, your cheeks warming slightly from the idea of actually marrying him. You both knew what was to come, the war coming closer and closer every second, so you both felt it was important to make the most of and cherish every moment you have left.

"I love you; you know that?” you smiled brightly at George’s words and leaned up to connect your lips with his, him eagerly reciprocating the kiss. You felt the tears build up at your waterline, trying desperately not to let them fall, but a single tear slid down your cheek. George pulled away, bringing his hand up to wipe the tear away, “why are you crying?”

“I’m sorry,” you shook your head at your own silliness, “I just love you so much.” George thought about teasing you for your sappiness, but then he surprisingly felt prickles in his eyes that indicated that he wasn’t far from the waterworks either. So, instead he brought you into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulder and resting his forehead against yours.

You sniffled slightly, looking deep into George’s eyes. And that’s how the two of you stayed, wrapped up in each other’s arms and loving each other for the rest of time.

Until it all came to an end.

----

Ahhh anon I hope i did your request justice!! Thank you so much for sending one in, I actually screamed when I saw the notif! If anyone else has a request please send them in!!

Please don’t forget to reblog/comment so I can grow!

- Mills <3

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley imagine #george weasley x you #anon request #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x you #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley #harry potter #harry potter imagine

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Enough

a/n: your sensei has come bearing gifts!!! hope you like my gift and happy 100 follower milestone everyone!!!! thank you for the ultimate support and love you’ve given me despite being only in this writer community for only about a week!! i hope to share more milestones w yall and hopefully more stories!!! byeeee

oikawa tooru x reader

(this is the full and last part of the oikawa angst)

Strangers.

That’s all you were.

Years of memories that were created before you could even walk, gone and forgotten for a relationship that didn’t even last a year.

Your parents have stopped asking for you both to interact during dinner, eventually getting used to you both not showing up to joint family meals, and there were no longer interactions shared for the next 3 years.

Until that fateful phone call.

It was about 2 in the morning and you were woken up by the loud and strong vibration from your phone that laid on top of your pillow beside you. You groaned at being woken up at such an ungodly hour on a school day so you didn’t budge and went back to sleep. But it continued for how many times and you made an irritated noise before finally opening your eyes and snatching it up to shout at who was calling you so early and why they needed you so badly.

“Hajime, I swear-”

“y/n, thank God,” he breathed out. “I know, I know, Tooru, she answered and I’m talking to her right now. You’ll be okay, alright? Here, just squeeze my hand.”

There was a bad feeling in your gut and when you heard him talking to, apparently, Tooru, you were already putting on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt over your sleeping shirt before running downstairs to get your shoes and almost ripping the fridge door to get ice packs on both hands.

“Hajime, it’s his knee, right?” You asked urgently, rummaging through the closet to get your emergency bag.

You had a sigh of relief when you found the old thing and bolted out of the house.

“H-How-”

“Practice match with Karasuno. I saw it. So, what’s wrong?”

“The shitty bastard called me because he was hurt and he couldn’t move since he messed up his knee and ankle.”

“Seijoh gym, right?”

Then there was a cry in the background.

“Yes. Now, please hurry, y/n. I know, Bakakawa! I’m telling her to hurry-!”

But you ended the call, focusing on biking faster, as fast as you could, because the longer he was hurt without medical attention, the riskier and bigger consequences were going to happen. His injuries were no surprise to you but hearing that pained shout from the other line got you to jump into action, regardless your feelings or your past.

Your bike was carelessly dumped to the side as you ran all the way to where you could hope was the gym building and you sighed in relief when you saw the bright light and the buff body of Iwaizumi Hajime pacing at the front.

“Haji!” You shouted and his eyebrows reduced from its intense furrowing before pointing behind him.

“I was already on my way to check on him when he called about being hurt but I had no ice or meds. You were my only option.”

There laid, Oikawa Tooru, clutching his ankle and knee with tears streaming down his face and his eyes tightly shut to block out anything from his sight.

Your knees slid across the floor as you quickly went to his side before you gently pried his hands from clutching his right knee and his ankle.

“Tooru,” you softly called out. His eyes flew open at your voice and his face crumpled up as a sob ripped through his throat and echoed through the gym. “It’s okay. I’m here now, it’s okay.”

You kept mumbling those words as you took off your sweatshirt and bundled it up so he could rest his knee on it. Iwa offered his jacket to elevate his ankle and you were hurriedly placing ice packs on his injured parts to prevent the bleeding in his tissues while taking out elastic tape so you could compress his ankle and knee.

“Tooru, listen to me, I know it hurts right now and I know you’re in so much pain but I need you to be strong okay? I know you hate taking pills but you need to be brave and take these so that the pain will be gone. They’re tiny little things so it won’t be hard but I’ll hold you as you take them, alright?”

Oikawa could barely register what you were saying as he was just focusing on your voice and the way your lips move.

God, has it been so long since you’ve last spoken a word to him that he completely forgot how your lips looked like as you pronounced each sound?

Only when you sat behind him and pulled him to your chest did he figure out what was happening. Iwaizumi forcefully shoved a bottle of water and gave him two white pain medicine pills.

He looked back at you to protest but once he saw your gentle smile did he breathe harshly before taking both pills at the same time and chugging down the water. You were about to scold him with the harm of taking more than one pill but quieted down when he made a hissing sound after he finished drinking.

“Breathe in and out,” you soothed.

He coughed and grimaced when it throbbed again. “But it hurts!”

Your brain began to race a thousand miles an hour to try and figure out a way for him to calm down but you were so worried that you couldn’t come up with anything. Then it struck you.

You haven’t done this in years due to the lack of interaction but this has worked every time he had a panic attack. By the looks of this, he was on his way to another one.

“Tooru, give me your hand, okay?” You laid out yours, only for him to shakily put his hand on top of it.

You turned it over so his palm was up and your other arm wrapped around him so you could reach his hand. Then you began tracing.

“Star!”

“Cloud!”

“Moon!”

He shouted every answer as you drew shapes into his tan skin and you proceeded into using simple addition problems to get his mind off of the pain and into something more practical like numbers.

“4!”

“18!”

“26!”

Iwaizumi watched in amazement as you were able to keep Tooru from jumping over the edge by simply writing characters on his palm and his olive eyes only widened as his best friend reduced the volume of his voice into whispers.

“Monkey.”

“Turtle.”

“Bread.”

“Milk.”

“Tree.”

Then he fell asleep.

The poor thing must’ve exhausted himself from training and the pain and crying.

His slump form remained against you and you tightened your hold around him, your own tears finally falling.

“I was so afraid this would happen,” you whispered out, noticing Iwa’s worried stare at you. “When he started this bullshit in middle school, all this obsessive behavior for defeating that dastardly Ushijima, I was so scared he would break himself. And he did.”

You choked out a sob.

“Haji, he hit me, did you know that?” You whimpered, not wanting to see his reaction with the thought of his best friend hitting the girl he has been crying and whining about for years. “Actually, he was about to hit Tobio but I pushed him away and took it instead because I was responsible for him as his manager.”

The words continued to spill out and you didn’t give a damn that you were spilling this out on your ex-boyfriend/best friend’s best friend.

“He felt so inferior to everyone, against Tobio for his genius ability, against Ushijima for being able to beat him for years, everyone. And there was nothing I could to prevent him from feeling so.” Iwa has now sat on the floor, noticing the melting ice pack which was making water roll down the bag.

“Instead, I was selfish and complained about not spending time with him because he was so obsessed with volleyball. For winning. But I really think I let go because I didn’t want to see him in any more pain. I didn’t want to see him torture himself anymore.”

Your fingers swept through Tooru’s damp forehead to push back the hair that stuck on the skin from his sweat.

“Then when he told me that I was actually a distraction and that he didn’t need me anymore, I saw it as the perfect opportunity. So I took it. And dammit, I feel so horrible. I will forever regret that I couldn’t help him and cut off all contact just because I was scared of what would happen next. Don’t you see, Iwa? I did this to him. This is my fault. All because I wasn’t there to stop him.”

Your tired, sad eyes finally met Hajime’s surprised olive ones.

“I wanted to talk, to rekindle at least friendship. But I knew that once I do, I’ll fall in love all over again and I’d be forced to watch him break and kill himself just for a damn trip to Tokyo. To hell with that. So I stayed away. I called him selfish but you see, I was the selfish one. It just sucks that I was able to realize it once it was too late.”

“Patellar Tendonitis.”

A normal person would’ve been confused with those words if it was directed at them but you knew what they meant, knowing they were directed towards the boy in your arms.

“Messed it up during training camp over the summer. Then his ankle got sprained. Shit went down from there.”

Your entire body trembled at the pain and suffering this boy went through and your tears flowed faster as he was so desperate for everyone’s approval that he covered it up with a smile and continued practicing.

Oh what a peculiar boy Tooru is.

“I shouldn’t have come-”

“No, you needed to.” Iwa cut you off. “For three years, he’s done nothing but mope around and cry for a girl he broke up with in middle school. During an age where you don’t even know what the hell love is, he sure got a pretty solid definition of that. And that definition, is you.”

“Iwa, you’re making me cry more!” You whined and brokenly laughed.

“It’s true,” he reasoned while leaning on his hands behind him. “This might sound creepy but he checks whenever your bedroom light is off at a certain time so he was sure you’d be able to sleep enough. If not, he secretly complains to your mother and she tells you to stop studying, right?”

You mutedly nodded, shocked at what you were hearing.

Was all that really true?

Has he been doing this since first year and throughout now?

“And this makes me feel more like shit.” Your voice cracked. “I want to just graduate and forget about this idiot and live my life. But I just can’t! Not when he’s doing this to himself.”

Iwa sighed, annoyed at his best friends’ stupid dilemma. “You know what, this thing Shittykawa is doing to himself, it’s always going to be like this. I’m sorry, y/n, but this is going to be our reality for the next few years. He’s already got his sights on playing professionally and that means more training for him to feel like he’s on the same level as those foreign players. But you need to accept him for that.” He chuckled and ran his hands through his spiky hair. “It took me a long time to accept it but he’s always going to be this shitty person who will continue to break himself just to earn a single point in a match. But to him, it’s worth it, right? As much as he pisses me the hell off, he’s still my friend and I’d just have to continuously check in on him and make sure he’s still able to walk.”

Wow, that was the last thing you would happen. Iwaizumi Hajime talking about Oikawa Tooru, the boy he always punched and threw around, with such pride in his voice.

“Just remember that, kay?”

It was a silent walk back home as you carried the boys’ and your bags while Iwa had the unconscious Oikawa on his back. Upon reaching his front door, you realized it was locked and you knew if his mother found you at the dead of morning, she’d give him an earful and that was the last thing you needed. So you offered your place, instead, taking his sleeping body straight to your room.

“Go home, Haji. He’s not going to school tomorrow so you can come over and keep him company so you don’t miss him too much,” you teased.

He grunted quietly before ruffling your head. “Like hell I would. But remember what I said, y/n. Don’t expect a change. Just accept what you have right now.”

When he finally left, you sat on the floor beside your bed, holding the hand of the currently wincing Tooru. He was having a nightmare and if you could guess, it was probably him being beaten by Shiratorizawa in a game.

“Look at me, years later from ignoring you, letting you sleep on my bed and trying to accept you. I’m truly pathetic, right, Tooru?” You whispered, leaning against his hand which was encased on your own. “During the practice match, you said you were being unfair, right? Well, I’m the one not being fair. After causing you years of confusion and pain, a mere few hours has caused me to accept you all over again.”

“Why?” His groggy voice startled you and made your grip loosen but he snatched it back up, squeezing it. “Why now?”

Your face twisted as new tears would emerge and you gave him a sad smile, “Because I just realized something. I realized that you, Oikawa Tooru, deserve to be loved. Just as you are.”

A sleepy smile appeared on his beautifully child-like face, “I’m glad.”

When you fell for him, you expected him to catch you or at least help you up. But no hand reached out for you. Then you realized that Tooru fell and landed the exact same time as you did so there was no way he would’ve been able to catch you or help you.

“Breathing the same air, in the same space, is enough to fall in love. I realized that it’s enough, actually more than enough.”

Despite just waking up, he was now able to fully process what you said and with the pain of his injuries and the lack of sleep, he was overly emotional and cursed as he started sobbing and crying.

You were finally going to take him back. You were finally going to be his again.

Your eyes softened at this and you delicately held his face in your hands, cupping it so he could look at you and boy, did his heart do a weird jump kick.

Your eyes were so warm, so full of love, that he felt naked under your gaze.

No cover, no mask, just love.

And it is enough.

“I will always regret those three years, Oikawa Tooru. But if you’d let me, I’ll willingly and diligently spend the rest of my lifetime making it up to you and helping you stand whenever you fall.”

He playfully glared at you then opened his arms for a hug, which you immediately accepted.

“You already gave your entire life to me once you promised to fall in love with me forever, baka.” You cringed at the nudge of his finger on your forehead but you smiled at him.

“I was, like, 10, Tooru.”

“But right at this exact spot, I started to fall for you and I knew there would be no one else that I’d love.”

“I’m still angry that you wanted to hit Tobio but I will have to punish you once you do something like that again, right?”

“Hah?! Stop talking about Tobio, y/n-chan!”

“He was a literal baby, Tooru. Actually, if you try and hit any of your underclassmen, I’ll hit you. And there would be no milk bread for a month.”

“HAH?! MILK BREAD?! NO FAIR, Y/N-CHAN!”

“hm? But it’s totally fair, though?”

…

In the end the author completely lied regarding a sentence from earlier.

Actually a few sentences, but that’s besides the point.

There was no ending, no final farewells, just happy beginnings and hopes for the future with a few bags of milk bread.

Because years later, those same exact words were written on a different photograph. However, there wasn’t that much of a difference because it still held a smiling and happy family. But this time, it was you and Tooru, just with an additional baby boy and baby girl.

a/n: i teased you guys too much and im so sorry!!!! but i couldnt resist not giving them a happy ending and i was getting a lot of asks for at least a part 2 so i do what the people wants!!!! now i think i might take a day or two for a break but idk i might end up posting something tomorrow probably

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no6secretsanta · 3 years

Text

Don't Say It

Hello and happy holidays to you, @glorifiedscapegoat! I hope you enjoy this cheerful little modern AU fic I wrote for you! I always love writing Nezumi and Shion as carefree teens in a world that isn’t trying to destroy them (we all deserve some peace this year, even the bee boys), and I promise a happy ending!

<3 @weiselzelle

******

For someone who disliked Christmas as much as he did, Nezumi had decorated an awful lot of Christmas cookies, six dozen, to be precise. He’d also listened to the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack four times in a row, going on a fifth. Soon, he’d be watching an equally cheesy Christmas movie. It wasn’t by choice. Not exactly, anyway—

It had all started in kindergarten, the year he’d met Shion. They’d become fast friends, and the prospect of not seeing his best friend over winter break had been too much for Shion’s young heart to bear. As a solution, their parents had arranged a playdate over the holidays. Shion had been determined to celebrate Christmas with Nezumi as much as possible, so their day had included as many Christmastime activities as possible. The experience, quite frankly, had been exhausting. Unfortunately, it had only been the start of a long tradition.

Now, if Nezumi had things his way, they’d simply do what they always did when they hung out and nothing extra… but intentionally ignoring Christmas would make Shion sad, which defeated the entire purpose of spending a day together. That was why Nezumi put up with the whole ordeal year after year, and this time was no different.

“So, you still haven’t told me what you want for Christmas,” Shion said as he delicately placed some of the cookies into a shiny, festive tin. “And you can’t say ‘I’ll think on it’ this time, okay? Christmas is in a few days.”

Nezumi picked up a pinch of snowflake sprinkles from a dish and dropped them unceremoniously onto an iced cookie. “I’ll think—”

Shion glared at him before he could even finish the sentence, and Nezumi couldn’t help but laugh.

“Okay, listen, I know I said I’d think on it, but the truth is, I forgot. You know how busy I was before break started,” Nezumi explained.

Shion’s expression softened and he returned to decorating cookies alongside Nezumi. “Yeah, I know. That’s why I didn’t bug you about it sooner. But I really do need an answer today.”

“Well…” Nezumi sighed and looked off. “How about you tell me what you want? I still have to get you a present, and maybe it’ll give me some ideas for what I want, too.” He normally prided himself— secretly— in coming up with clever gifts for Shion, but with Christmas in only a few days, simply asking seemed like his best option.

“Me? Um!” Shion seemed awfully surprised by the question. Judging by the growing blush on his face, however, it was more than just surprise.

Nezumi smirked and leaned closer to his friend. “You’re blushing, Shion. Is it something really dorky?”

Shion looked down, clearly hesitating. “Uh, you’d probably call it that, yeah…”

Nezumi waited for Shion to say more. “…Well? What is it?” he asked, and raised an eyebrow.

“Um…” Shion smiled nervously and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear, still not looking at Nezumi.

Once again, Nezumi sighed. “You’re going to make me guess, aren’t you?”

“I suppose you could try,” Shion replied quietly with a small shrug. His face was as red as ever.

Nezumi smirked. “I’ll take that as a challenge.” He rubbed his chin as he thought. “Hmm, something so dorky that you’d blush about it in front of me… This may be difficult.”

While Nezumi thought about where to start his questioning, Shion began to slowly decorate another cookie.

“Can it fit in a backpack?” Nezumi asked, watching Shion’s expression closely.

“No.”

“What about a locker, then?”

Shion blinked, his eyebrows drawing together slightly. “Um… no? I don’t think so, anyway.”

“And you think I can afford it?” Nezumi asked with a laugh.

“I mean—” Shion laughed as well, though rather nervously. “Y-Yeah.”

Nezumi gave a skeptical look. “You sure about that?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay…” Nezumi picked up one of the cookies he’d decorated and took a bite as he thought. “Is it… something I even know exists?”

Shion laughed a little again. “Yes.” It was the most certain answer he’d gotten yet.

“Okay, so it’s something I obviously know about, judging by that reaction,” Nezumi scoffed. “It’s something that could be put in a box, right?”

“W-Well, I guess so…”

Nezumi frowned. “I mean that it’s an actual object, not like the gift of going somewhere with you or whatever.”

“I guess we could go somewhere for my present,” Shion suggested with a smile Nezumi could only call coy. Of course, very few people even could recognize coyness from Shion. Nezumi knew, though. Shion was up to something.

Nezumi narrowed his eyes. “Second thoughts about challenging me?”

“We could go ice skating again. It’s been years since we last went.”

“We could not go ice skating again,” Nezumi retorted. “I’m not having you pull me down on the ice every five minutes.”

“You are taller than me now, aren’t you?”

Nezumi eyed Shion suspiciously. His latest growth spurt had been a bit of a sore spot for Shion, so why would he bring it up now? “I sure as hell am, you little runt.”

Shion’s blush fully returned and he averted his eyes. “S-So, that means I wouldn’t make you fall if I lost my balance, right?”

Crossing his arms, Nezumi leaned back in his seat. “I see… Finding the advantages to being your fun-sized self?”

“You know, I never made fun of you this much when you were the shorter one,” Shion said, slathering a bit too much icing onto a large, snowflake-shaped cookie.

Nezumi watched as Shion then dumped an excess of sprinkles onto the cookie. “Oh, come on. You always thought I needed to be protected or something when I was smaller than you, even though you knew I could’ve kicked your ass no problem. I’m going to enjoy this change as much as I wa—”

Shion abruptly shoved the cookie into Nezumi’s mouth, or at least as much of it as he could fit. As soon as it happened, Nezumi cupped his hand under the cookie in a desperate attempt to catch the sprinkles and dripping icing. While Nezumi struggled to eat the messy cookie that was now his responsibility not to get everywhere, Shion returned to decorating more cookies.

“And what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t care about your safety?” Shion asked, though he clearly wasn’t expecting an answer from Nezumi, not after shoving food into his mouth. “Anyway, I think ice skating would work out better now, so— ah!”

Nezumi smeared the icing that had dripped onto his hand across Shion’s cheek. “Here, you dropped something.”

Shion stared in shock for a moment before swiping a bit of icing from the bowl onto his fingertip. Nezumi had a good idea of where that finger was headed. As it drew closer to his face, he opened his mouth and caught Shion’s sugary finger between his teeth. The icing was sweet on his tongue, but Nezumi savored the expression on his friend’s face far more.

“Nezumi!” Shion squeaked when his finger was finally free.

“Yes?”

Shion gawked at his hand as if he’d never seen it before.

“…Yes, Shion?” Nezumi asked again.

“Um!” Shion blinked and shook his head. “W-We should both probably wash our hands before we decorate any more cookies,” he stammered.

Nezumi snorted out a laugh and followed Shion over to the kitchen sink. While he waited for his turn at the faucet, he bumped Shion’s hip with his own. For some reason, that always put a smile on Shion’s face. “Back to my guesses. Is it something I can buy?” he asked.

“Uh, n-no,” Shion replied, his eyes going wide. He turned away as he dried his hands.

“So it’s something I have to make, then?” Nezumi asked.

“N… No.”

“No?” Nezumi finished washing his hands and dried them off as well, thinking over what Shion could be talking about. If it couldn’t be bought and couldn’t be made… “Is it something I already have?”

“Uh…” Shion scratched the back of his neck and returned to the kitchen counter as if decorating even more cookies was an actual priority. “Technically?”

Nezumi scoffed and crossed his arms. “Technically?” he repeated. “What the hell kind of answer is that?”

Shion stared down at a star-shaped cookie he’d picked up. “Um… uh… I say ‘technically’ because…”

“Because…?”

“Well… technically you… have… what I want…” Shion mumbled, trailing off. He set down the cookie and smiled nervously, his eyes focused on Nezumi’s shoulder rather than his face. “Forget I said anything, okay? I like your ice skating idea. How about we do that for my present?”

Nezumi frowned to himself and ripped off a paper towel from the roll by the sink. “That was your idea, not mine,” he corrected, briefly running the faucet again to get the paper towel wet. He approached Shion and began wiping the icing off his cheek. “You forgot something.”

Shion shut his eyes while Nezumi cleaned off his face. “I did? Ha, oops, I guess I did…”

Somehow, exchanges like this made Nezumi dread their inevitable separation that would come with graduating high school. He didn’t like the idea of someone else helping Shion the way he did, taking his place… Would Shion even have him over during the holidays? How many more Christmases would they spend together?

“Hey, Shion?”

Shion peeked an eye open. “Yeah?”

Nezumi turned away to toss the paper towel in the trash and to avoid looking Shion in the eye. “You’re still going to invite me over for Christmas stuff once we’re in college, right?” he asked.

“Huh?” Shion blinked. “Y-Yeah, of course.”

“Good.”

Shion laughed a little and smiled sheepishly. “You know, I was starting to think you didn’t like celebrating Almost-Christmas with me. I’m sort of surprised, given how much you usually complain about Christmas…”

Nezumi let out a laugh as well and leaned his elbows on the counter. “I mean—” The gentle smile on Shion’s face kept him from finishing his sentence. He glanced away.

“Wait, Nezumi, do you secretly like Christmas?” Shion asked, just a hint of a giggle in his tone.

“What? No! I hate Christmas!”

The amusement left Shion’s face. “Oh. Um… Does that mean you don’t actually like doing Christmas stuff with me?”

Nezumi’s stomach sank. He hated seeing Shion sad. Why did he have to say that? “Okay, ‘hate’ may have been too strong of a word. I don’t hate Christmas. Not all of it, anyway,” he quickly explained. “I— Listen, I wouldn’t do this for anyone else, okay?”

Shion fell silent, staring down at the array of cookies before him and chewing his lip. After a long moment, he spoke again. “You know, we don’t have to keep doing the same stuff every year. Honestly, I just kept doing it because it’s what we’ve always done, and you kept agreeing to it, but I… I guess we don’t have to do anything Christmasy if you really don’t want to.”

“I mean, we are gonna hang out over break either way, aren’t we?” Nezumi said, though he knew in his heart that wasn’t what Shion wanted. Shion enjoyed the holiday season and all the pepperminty sweetness that it brought far too much to ignore it all with Nezumi. “Maybe if it’s just… a little less Christmasy,” he offered. His eyes darted around the room, searching for examples of anything seasonal that didn’t make him cringe. “Like… hot cocoa. I like hot cocoa. And I like eating Christmas cookies, just not, you know… decorating several dozen of them.”

Once again, Shion took a long while to respond. Nezumi might’ve been concerned if he didn’t know his friend so well; he knew it meant Shion was deeply considering his words. Besides, having Shion react logically rather than emotionally right now was preferable, albeit expected. After taking a hesitant breath, Shion asked, “Is ice skating too Christmasy?”

Nezumi breathed out a laugh. Of course their discussion had come back to this. “It’s an Olympic sport. I think that exempts it from being too Christmasy,” he replied. Skating really could turn out better than before, if Shion’s reasoning about his height was correct… Compared to watching a Christmas movie, it might actually be fun. “Listen, I’ll take you ice skating right now if it means we skip everything else on today’s itinerary.”

Shion blinked in surprise, finally looking up at Nezumi. “Y-You’re serious?”

“Completely.”

Shion gawked, then shook his head and said, “Um, right! I’ll— I’ll go tell mom what we’re doing!”

Nezumi laughed as Shion hurried out of the room. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes,’” he commented, though he knew Shion had to be on the other side of the house, already and well out of earshot.

Before long, the two boys were buckling into Nezumi’s car, which was parked outside. Nezumi smirked to himself as he turned the key and started the engine. The satisfaction of having a license and a car had yet to wear off.

“It’s still weird that we can just drive places now, isn’t it?” Shion commented, running his fingers along the car door just below the window. “I’ve barely used my bike this year.”

“You mean that I can drive us places now?” Nezumi teased. “Seriously, when are you going to take your test?”

Shion shrugged. “I don’t know. Driving is kind of terrifying,” he said with a small laugh. “Besides, I kind of like…”

Nezumi raised an eyebrow, giving Shion an inquisitive look before pulling out of the driveway and heading down the road. “You kind of like what? You know you can’t just trail off like that.”

“Um.” Shion laughed a little again. “Well, I was going to say that I kind of like when you drive me around, but that sounds sort of entitled, doesn’t it?”

Nezumi scoffed. “Yeah, it kind of does.” Still, he couldn’t help but feel smug.

“I mean it as a good thing, though,” Shion explained. “Actually, I… I really am scared of driving. It’s not that it’s too difficult, it’s just— but—” His sentence sputtered to a halt. Shion forced out an exhale and tried again. “I’m afraid I’ll really mess up and hurt someone, or worse…” He shook his head to himself. “But… when I’m with you, I feel safe. I trust you.”

“Well. Maybe I like driving you around. So it all works out.”

Sure, Shion would eventually have to bite the bullet and get over his fear. For now, though… This was fine, perhaps even preferable. If Shion had a license, Nezumi could easily picture him having a personal crisis over a fender-bender or an unlucky squirrel’s demise. Yes, perhaps this was for the best.

Shion turned his head away, and Nezumi knew that meant either Shion was blushing or something very interesting that only Shion could see was on the side of the road. “Y-Yeah, at least until we graduate. Unless we go to college in the same place…”

They hadn’t discussed college much yet, surprisingly. Nezumi knew Shion planned to go to medical school to become a doctor, but that was about it. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to do, himself.

“I’m not going to med school with you,” Nezumi laughed.

“Well— just hold on a second, that’s not what I meant,” Shion protested. “I’ve been thinking about this. As long as the school you pick has a pre-med track, I’ll go there.”

They slowed to a stop at a red light. The contrarian part of Nezumi ached to argue with Shion’s suggestion, but he’d secretly been hoping for something like this. He hadn’t let himself think too much about going to college with Shion to save himself the disappointment, but now the possibility was very real.

“…Only if you want that, of course,” Shion added. Nezumi’s silence must have been a blow to his confidence.

The light changed, and Nezumi pressed his foot on the gas pedal. “You’re going to save me from the torture of rooming with a total stranger? Seems like a pretty sweet deal to me.”

“I— er, you mean you like my idea?” Shion stammered. “Really?”

Nezumi shrugged. “Yeah. Why not?”

Shion fiddled with the cuffs of his jacket sleeves instead of looking at Nezumi. “I… I guess sometimes I worry that you’ll get sick of me.”

“Unlikely.”

“What?” Shion looked up. “Really? Because sometimes you get really annoyed with me…”

Shion wasn’t exactly wrong. It had been much worse a few years before, when Nezumi was still grappling with the complicated mess of new emotions he felt toward Shion. It wasn’t the proudest time of his life. “When’s the last time I got seriously annoyed with you, though? I can’t remember,” Nezumi replied.

“Um… I believe it was last year, when we were discussing—”

“It was a rhetorical question, Shion,” Nezumi interrupted. “The point is, you’ve had over ten years to do anything truly unforgivable and you haven’t even come close, which makes you a pretty solid candidate for a college roommate, in my opinion.”

“What about that time at the homecoming dance?” Shion asked.

Nezumi blinked, furrowing his eyebrows. “What the hell are you talking about, Shion?”

“Back in eighth grade, I tried to do some kind of dance a bunch of other people were doing, and you looked me in the eye and said ‘truly unforgivable.’ Remember?”

“I—” Nezumi laughed and shook his head. “I may have overreacted. I hardly remember it.”

“So you aren’t even a little mad about that anymore?” Shion asked.

“No? Why would I be?”

Shion shrugged and sighed, which was a rather unusual gesture from his friend. “I know it hasn’t happened in a while, but you at least used to get mad at me for random stuff, sometimes for a long time. I can’t help but worry you might still be mad about some of those things.”

Nezumi was grateful for the excuse of watching the road so he didn’t have to look at Shion for this discussion. He’d thought they could just move on from that bumpy patch in their friendship without talking about it, but apparently that was not the case. He should have expected as much. “Would you believe me if I told you it was all just a lot of mood swings?”

“If you promised that’s the truth, then yeah, I’d believe you.”

Nezumi resisted the urge to sigh himself. “It’s the truth,” he replied. At least, it was the closest he was willing to get to the truth. He didn’t intend to give out any love confessions today. “I swear I’m not mad at you about any of that old stuff. I’m not mad at you about anything.”

“Really?”

“For now, anyway. I’m sure you could piss me off if you really tried.”

Shion giggled a little. “Okay, I’ll try not to worry about it.”

Nezumi turned into the parking lot outside the skating rink and easily found an empty spot. After they parked, Shion quickly unbuckled his seatbelt, but Nezumi locked the doors and kept his finger on the button to do it again if necessary. Shion looked over at him in surprise.

“Before we go in,” Nezumi explained, “you have to tell me what you want for Christmas.”

Shion gave him a grumpy pout. “I thought going skating was my present,” he argued, fiddling with the lock on his door.

“You know what I’m talking about. Whatever thing I apparently already have that you want. If it’s a sentimental thing, there’s no guarantee I even have it anymore. I don’t save stuff like you do.”

“Well…” Shion averted his eyes, his cheeks growing pink. “I guess I already got what I wanted.”

Nezumi paused, looking ahead as he thought. “…Wait, you wanted to be college roommates for your Christmas present?”

“N-No, not exactly, but— well, yes, it’s basically the same thing.”

“Is it or isn’t it?” Nezumi unbuckled his seatbelt and turned more towards Shion, watching his friend closely. Either Shion was choosing his words carefully or he was planning to bolt from the car.

“I-It’s—” Shion hesitated. “It’s… Nezumi, all I want for Christmas is—”

The pieces came together as Shion spoke, and time slowed down as a terrible realization struck Nezumi. He immediately covered Shion’s mouth with his hand. “Don’t say it!”

The outburst shocked them both into a silence that stretched on for several seconds. Finally, Shion pulled Nezumi’s hand off of his mouth. “What?”

Nezumi felt heat rise from his neck up to his ears. This was going to be difficult to explain. “I-I… You were going to say the name of a Christmas song, weren’t you?”

Shion blinked, then replied, “Oh, y-yeah, I guess so. Um…”

Nezumi had to think fast. He hadn’t thought this conversation would be happening today, or even at all, and it was already off to a rough start. He wasn’t even entirely sure what Shion meant by that kind of request. “Listen,” Nezumi began to explain, though he didn’t really know what he was about to say. He kept talking anyway. “If… if, let’s say, this ends up being something people might ask us about later, I’d rather it not be a reminder of an annoying Christmas song. If what you’re asking for is what I think you’re asking for.”

Shion’s face had turned bright red and his wide, dark eyes were focused on Nezumi’s hands. “Um. What do you think I’m asking for, Nezumi?”

Nezumi almost passed the question right back to Shion, but maybe Shion really couldn’t bring himself to say it. The suave thing to do in this moment would be to answer Shion’s question with a kiss, but Nezumi’s doubts kept him from acting. He settled for a response somewhere in the middle. “It sounds to me like you want a boyfriend for Christmas,” he replied as casually as he could.

Shion didn’t respond, nor did he move. He sat there, frozen in place, clearly unsure of how to proceed.

“…Just nod if I’m right.”

Shion took a small, sharp breath and nodded ever so slightly. Nezumi had never seen his friend look so terrified in his life.

If there had ever been a time to kiss Shion, this was it.

Nezumi had never kissed anyone before, only stage-kissed a few people in drama class, but he reasoned it couldn’t be too different from the real thing. Gently lifting Shion’s chin with one hand, Nezumi leaned closer, lightly closed his eyes, and touched his lips to Shion’s. An odd thrill ran down his spine, which certainly never happened with a thumb in the way— or more likely, with anyone else.

A second later, he felt a jolt of pain as Shion pressed back too hard, too quickly. Nezumi jerked away and pressed his fingers to his aching lip. “Ow—”

Shion quickly pulled back with a look of absolute horror on his face. “I-I’m so sorry!” he stammered. “I didn’t mean to— I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine,” Nezumi said with a small laugh. “Just— hold still this time.”

Ignoring the pain in his lip, Nezumi leaned closer again. Shion shut his eyes and held his breath. Nezumi lingered just inches away for a moment, then withdrew slightly.

“You… do want me to do this, right?” Nezumi asked.

Shion opened his eyes and looked up at Nezumi briefly before averting his gaze and nodding. “I— That is, only if you want to—”

They’d just crossed a new boundary together, and yet they were both afraid to take a single step further. Something about it was utterly ridiculous, but Nezumi couldn’t blame Shion for acting so nervous. After all, if this change ended up being a mistake, there probably wouldn’t be any going back. From what Nezumi understood about the world, lovers could rarely return to just being friends. Could he really risk their entire friendship? Was it already too late to turn back?

Why hadn’t he thought of this before kissing Shion the first time?

“Are you okay?” Shion asked quietly, meeting Nezumi’s gaze for only a split second. “You’re shaking.” His fingers carefully wrapped around Nezumi’s trembling hand.

“You’re shaking,” Nezumi whispered in retort.

“Y-Yeah, but it’s weird for you to be shaking like this,” Shion replied. He wasn’t wrong.

“So what?”

What kind of answer was that?

“Nezumi…” With a sad expression that was meant to be a smile, Shion turned his head away, breaking the tension and leaving Nezumi with an unpleasant sense of disappointment. “I… It’s okay if you don’t want to—”

“That’s not the— listen, Shion,” Nezumi argued. He didn’t dare pull his hand away from Shion’s gentle grasp. “What if this doesn’t work out? Then what? Do you really think everything would just go back to normal? That we’d just go back to being friends?”

A series of expressions crossed Shion’s face before he spoke, and Nezumi wasn’t entirely sure what any of them meant. “We’ve stuck together through everything so far, so I can’t imagine we wouldn’t be able to find a way to get along,” Shion said with a slight smile. “Besides… I really think… this could work out.”

Maybe Shion was being too much of an optimist, but Nezumi had considered that exact possibility before. Maybe they could get through anything together. None of their past disputes had been enough to damage their friendship. His doubts were losing their ground.

“And… what’s the point of acting like we don’t want more from each other now that we know?” Shion added softly, staring down at their joined hands as if looking anywhere else would cause him to lose what courage he had left. “I… I really love being with you, Nezumi.” He’d said that phrase to him many times before, but Nezumi finally understood what Shion was actually trying to say. “I always have,” Shion added, then let out a shaky sigh and briefly glanced up. “…Please say something.”

Nothing felt right to say, but Nezumi had to say something. He couldn’t leave Shion to doubt himself all over again in his silence. With his free hand, he lifted Shion’s chin so their faces were level once more. “Stay still, alright?”

Shion immediately complied, closing his eyes in anticipation of what was to come. If it wasn’t so cruel to make Shion wait, Nezumi would’ve taken a moment to enjoy the blissful expression on his friend’s face. Summoning his own courage, Nezumi leaned in and gave Shion a careful kiss. Shion’s fingers tightened around his hand in response, but he otherwise stayed perfectly still. Nezumi drew back and Shion’s eyes fluttered open, and slowly, a wide smile spread across Shion’s flushed face. Nezumi couldn’t quite stop himself from grinning as well. The thrill of the moment was still sinking in, even after it was over.

“So, um.” Shion sheepishly ducked his head and held Nezumi’s hand with both of his own. “What do you want for Christmas?”

“Hm. Pretty much the same thing as you, I think,” Nezumi answered with the casual shrug of a shoulder. The hand that had been touching Shion’s face came to rest on Shion’s knee, causing him to jump slightly, but neither of them moved away. An unexpected sense of freedom was settling in… the freedom to show his true affections after all this time.

Shion looked up with an embarrassed smile. “Okay, but I like giving you presents. Is there anything else you want?”

“Who says I don’t like giving you presents?” Nezumi scoffed.

“Well, you said you hate Christmas, didn’t you?” Shion replied, visibly confused. “And you’ve complained plenty of times about how trivial you think Christmas gifts are. I thought you would have just stopped giving anyone presents by now if you’re so against them.”

Nezumi sighed through his nose and glanced away. “It’s… complicated,” he tried to explain. “Overall, yes, I think Christmas presents are crap. But this is an exception.” Shion was the exception. Shion somehow always was the exception for him. “It’s… enjoyable to pick out a gift for you, and I know it’s not a wasted effort since you actually appreciate it.”

“I appreciate anything from you,” Shion said far too earnestly.

Nezumi laughed. This was exactly what he had been talking about. “Yeah, I know. It’s—” Instead of editing his words to be a playful jab, he allowed the rest of his thought to leave his lips, “—cute.”

Shion gawked at Nezumi, then covered his beet-red face with both hands. “I-I—!”

“Did I break you?” Nezumi asked with another laugh, using his newly freed hand to ruffle Shion’s soft, brown hair. Making Shion blush had yet to lose its appeal. “Sorry. Well, not really. Have I really never told you you’re cute before?”

“Um!” Shion kept his face covered as he spoke. “N-No, I think you’ve said that every time you’ve seen me dressed up for an event, but I know you were just making fun of me.”

Nezumi hummed thoughtfully. “Was I, though?”

“Wait, were you!?”

“Was I?”

Shion faced forward again and placed his head down in his folded arms on the dashboard. “Argh, which is it!?” he loudly groaned.

Nezumi rarely saw Shion this worked up. He wasn’t sure whether to be proud or sorry. “Is not knowing really that unbearable?” he asked.

“Kind of.”

Nezumi’s eyes scanned over Shion’s hunched, trembling form. His own nervous jitters had thankfully faded away, but Shion case seemed to be the opposite. “Serious question, though… are you going to be able to skate today? You’re shaking like crazy.”

Shion quickly sat up, placed his hands in his lap, and took a deep breath. “I’m fine!” he insisted, though his face was still awfully red and every inch of him shook.

“Are you sure?” Nezumi asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically. “If you’re that tense on the ice, you’ll definitely fall. What’s the matter, anyway?”

“Nothing!” Shion quickly answered and took another deep breath. “Nothing’s the matter! I’m just— I’m— I’m really happy. And excited.” He let out an anxious laugh. “And a little nervous.”

Nezumi felt his own shoulders relax. Had he been tense, too? “Nervous about what?” he asked.

Shion laughed again. “Um. Well, I did kind of punch your mouth with my face a little.”

“It wasn’t that bad. It doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

“That’s good,” Shion said, giving Nezumi a sheepish glance. “Um. But I’m nervous I’ll do it again. But I— w-want to try—” He looked at Nezumi again, this time with eyes full of hope.

Nezumi opened his mouth to reply, then shut it again and closed his eyes. When he still wasn’t kissed several seconds later, he gestured a hand toward his face and prompted, “Well?”

“What? Oh!”

Once again, Nezumi waited.

“Um, hold still,” Shion murmured and gently grasped both of Nezumi’s hands.

Nezumi complied. A moment later, he felt Shion’s lips gingerly touch his. It was over almost as soon as it happened, just a whisper of a kiss, but it somehow left Nezumi’s nerves buzzing long afterward.

“Was that okay?” Shion asked quietly.

Nezumi opened his eyes and smiled. “Completely painless.”

Shion beamed brighter than the sun overhead.

“Still nervous?” Nezumi asked.

Shion shook his head and looked away, still smiling. “No, not really. Only a little.” He gazed out across the parking lot for a brief moment, then grinned up at Nezumi. “Let’s go skating!”

Nezumi laughed, caught off guard by Shion’s abrupt enthusiasm. “You’re awfully confident all of a sudden,” he teased.

“It’s just that— I realized this will be our first date,” Shion replied. “It’s kind of exciting, you know?”

“You mean all those school dances we went to don’t count?” Nezumi scoffed, still smiling. He knew they didn’t really count. Nezumi had only been Shion’s date to keep him unavailable.

“Um— I didn’t think they did,” Shion said hesitantly. “Do they?”

“Not really, no.” Nezumi smirked as a thought crossed his mind. “Did I ever tell you that Safu called me ‘too possessive’ before the homecoming dance this year?”

Shion covered his face with his hands again and leaned his head against Nezumi’s shoulder. “Oh, jeez… No, you didn’t tell me. What happened?”

“She asked me not to ask you to the dance, and I told her that I’d already asked you and you’d already said yes. Apparently that wasn’t quite what she wanted to hear.”

“Thank you. Again,” Shion mumbled. “I only ever wanted to go with you, anyway.”

A part of Nezumi had always suspected as much, but actually hearing it from Shion gave him a smug sense of satisfaction. He slipped his arm behind Shion in a halfway embrace. “Maybe she’ll finally realize you’re not interested in dating her when she spots us making out at your locker.”

“You’re gonna kiss me at school!?” Shion asked in disbelief.

That wasn’t the takeaway Nezumi had expected Shion to get from his words, but Shion was always like that, surprising him in odd ways. “I might,” Nezumi replied. “You’d better watch out.”

Shion blinked, then smiled and stretched to press a kiss to Nezumi’s cheek. “Then I guess you’d better watch out, too.”

Nezumi turned his head away in an attempt to hide how much a little kiss on the cheek was making him blush. He was going to have to get used to this, wasn’t he? “…Noted.”

Shion giggled at Nezumi’s response, then grinned up at him. “Well, then. Shall we go in?”

“Sure. Let’s go.”

They both exited the car, Nezumi locking the doors before meeting Shion on the other side. They joined hands, and just to make things fair, Nezumi gave Shion a quick kiss on the cheek. For the entire walk across the parking lot toward the ice rink, Shion blushed and giggled while Nezumi wore a smug smile on his face.

If this was what celebrating Christmas with Shion would be like from now on… well, Nezumi certainly didn’t mind.

#no6 #no.6 #no. 6 #no 6 #nezushi #weisel #Weiselzelle #glorifiedscapegoat #no6secretsanta #fanfiction #submission

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youtuberswithalex · 3 years

Text

PRVL, Volume 3, Chapter 4: Lessons Learned

Summary: With the second round of the tournament arriving, some of the team can't help but question where they stand in the minds of those they love.

Word count: 7,205

Warnings: Fighting (In a tournament), arguing, breakdown, talk about past death of a parent

I spent the last few days pounding out this chapter so I could post it today. Miss you, Monty. Keep moving forward.

Masterpost – Volume 1 – Previous - Next

-----

New Message from: Mom

Hi, sweetie. Been thinking about you a lot lately. I ran into Anise at the store yesterday (Remember her? Your friend Dominic’s mom), and she said she saw you fighting in the Vytal Tournament, so your dad and I looked it up. Happy to see your team made it into the next round. Dominic’s team apparently lost. He’s a little broken up about it. Maybe you could reach out, if you can find him. Anise would really appreciate it. I know you used to be close, so I’m sure he’d be happy to see you again.

New Message from: Mom

Your sister said she tried to text you. Did they come through? She’s worrying her scroll might be getting a little old…

New Message from: Mom

Could you message me back, please?

Delete Messages?

>YES< >NO<

---------------

Gunshots echoed through the training area, followed by a scream of frustration and the skidding of boots on the floor. Metal clanged and echoed, and footsteps pummeled.

After a moment, wings fluttered, and a body skidded across the floor. Roman groaned as he began to pick himself up.

“Had enough yet?”

Growling, he shot a glare over to where Anole was putting the halves of his bow back together. “Y’know, when I asked you to join me in training this morning, I meant helping me instead of, you know, absolutely destroying me.”

Anole returned the look with a cross of his arms. “Uh, y’know,” he mocked, “I wouldn’t be kicking your ass so hard if you took two seconds to pay attention to where you are before you attack.”

“I do!” Roman exclaimed. When Anole only raised an eyebrow, he got to his feet and put his hands on his hips. “I do!”

“So what you’re saying is, you meant to be blasted by Thomas’s semblance when saving Patton during round one and get your Aura knocked down by like, fifty percent?”

Roman’s face reddened. “That—That was one time!”

“And you were totally aware of that Cephalo when you stopped to talk to Virgil when your teammates were in danger on your mission?”

“Alright, that’s hardly fair—”

“And you knew the White Fang was coming to kidnap you, and you let them do it on purpose?” Anole held up a finger in pause. “If that one’s true, I might have to kill you myself.”

Roman groaned and threw his hands in the air. “Alright, I get it! So I tend to get tunnel vision in fights; big deal! It’s not like the distractions aren’t coming from the target themselves most of the time…”

Anole furrowed his brow and threw his arms out. “Wh—none of those distractions came from—!” He cut himself off and sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Roman. Dude. It’s not just about fighting,” he said. “You gotta think about this stuff in regular, day-to-day life, too.”

Roman let out a laugh. “As if we aren’t training for fighting to be our day to day life.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Anole snapped. “This is exactly what I’m saying! I’m talking, like, people, and relationships and stuff, but you’re still focused on Hunter stuff!”

“Well, yeah! In case you haven’t noticed, we’re kind of in the middle of a biannual world tournament!” he exclaimed. “I do want my team to win, you know.”

“You were already knocked out! Because you weren’t paying attention!”

“I was! Just because it was on my teammate instead of my opponent doesn’t mean it was a bad thing!” Roman shot. “Patton could have gotten hurt if I hadn’t caught him!”

“And you got hurt instead,” Anole lowly pointed out.

Roman reeled back into stunned silence. “I-I didn’t…” His fists balled as he searched for his words. “I still had Aura left…”

Anole let out a breath and stepped forward, opening his arms in invitation. “I know,” he said. “That’s not what I meant.”

Roman looked at his brother for a moment, eyes flicking down to his open arms; his breath came out in a rush as he tucked himself into his grip.

Anole held him close for a long few minutes, saying nothing about his shoulder growing increasingly damp. He rocked him gently and ran his fingers through his hair. In return, Roman’s wings slowly curled around them.

“You’re not bad at fighting,” Anole eventually muttered. As Roman’s grip tightened, he hastily added, “Really, you’re not. I’ve seen you wipe the floor in 1v1 classroom fights a hundred times over. You’re good at what you do. You just… can’t be an idiot. You need to think, and pay attention, especially when you’re in the field. People are going to get hurt if you don’t.”

“I know,” Roman choked out.

“And that applies in regular life, too. You can’t just rush head-first into things without considering where they’re going to end up, or who it’s going to affect other than you… Especially when it involves other people.”

Roman frowned. He pulled back just enough to look Anole in the eye. “What do you mean?”

Anole, while he had the grace to appear the slightest bit embarrassed with the flush of his cheeks, gave his shoulders a squeeze and shrugged. “W-Well… Y’know, with you and Riad…”

“What about us?”

“I…”

Yanking himself away, Roman put his hands on his hips and shot a glare that felt a hundred times worse than the ones just moments ago. “No, go on. I want to hear what you have to say about me and my boyfriend’s relationship.”

Anole looked away and shuffled. “He’s not just your boyfriend,” he attempted to say under his breath.

Roman could do nothing but stare at his own brother for a long moment, just processing the words that had come out of his mouth. If it wasn’t for the cool, early morning light seeping through the windows, he could have sworn he was starting to see red.

“Is that what your problem is with us being together?” he snapped. “The fact that you don’t get to spend as much time with him anymore?”

“What? No, Roman—”

“You spend almost every moment with him that I’m not there, not to mention an entire year before me, and you’re jealous?”

“Ro—”

“I cannot believe that that’s what’s been up your… your scaly ass this whole time! Jealous because your brother and best friend are taking time away from you to be happy together!”

“I don’t want you to get hurt!”

Roman froze. Anole huffed out a breath and ran a hand through his hair.

“Look, I just— I don’t know what I’d do if one of you got hurt because of the other,” he admitted. “It would suck so much! I love you both so much, and I hate seeing either of you in pain! I hate seeing anyone I love being in pain! And… And knowing I’d have to pick a side, pick only one of you to stick by, it’s just… Gods, I hate it! And I’d especially hate it if I knew there was something I could have done to stop it!”

“…You think I’m going to hurt him,” Roman slowly said.

Anole stiffened. He finally looked back at Roman.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I think I know exactly what you meant.”

“Roman…”

Before Anole could say another word, Roman shut his eyes and shook his head. He turned and headed towards the door.

“I know you hate us being together,” he called over his shoulder, “But you don’t have to be such a jerk about it.”

The door slammed shut a moment later. Anole was left in suffocating silence.

---------------

“You’re absolutely sure you’re okay with me being your partner for this?”

Logan let out a soft sigh as he turned to look at his teammate. Patton’s fingers fiddled with the edge of his shield, and he was staring at the arena floor as if he expected it to jump out at him.

“Yes, Patton,” he said for what must have been the fifth time since they stepped onto the field. “You are undoubtedly the best choice for this fight, in many more ways than one.” After a beat, he added, “Besides, even if I were to change my mind, it’s far too late to do anything about it now.”

Patton’s head snapped up, eyes blown wide. “I-I’m sure there’s still time! The other team isn’t even here yet; I could run and go get Virgil, if you want!”

“There is no need, Patton. I was merely expressing a hypothetical situation,” Logan quickly corrected. “I am happy to have you joining me for this fight.”

There was a beat where Patton could do nothing but blink owlishly at him; even after it passed, all he could do was look back at the floor and say, “…Oh.”

A purple rubber ball rolled up to their feet.

“Sorry!” a voice cried.

A girl wearing a red and white sports uniform sprinted over and scooped it up before jogging back to the other side of the platform, where another person stood, shaking his head.

“Valerie, come on,” he chuckled. “We haven’t even started and you’re losing track of that thing.”

“Come on, I just dropped it!” Valerie said back.

Her partner rolled his eyes, smile on his face, and leaned his weight on the long spear in his hands that was about his same height. His cloak slipped off of the gold plated armor that rested on his right arm. “Uh huh, and which piece of padding did it ‘drop-bounce’ off of?”

“Jo!” Valerie huffed.

Patton giggled at the banter, only to slap his hand over his mouth when it drew the attention of the other two to him. They stared at him for a beat, and then looked at each other and began to laugh.

“Nice to meet you,” Jo said. “Patton and Logan, right? Team PRVL?”

Logan nodded. “And you must be Valerie and Jo of Team SVIJ.”

“Huh, would you look at that,” he replied. “The boys and the girls both did their homework.”

Valerie winked at Jo. “But only us girls are making it to the next round.”

“I’m not one right now, but you’ve got the spirit.”

Patton let out a soft whimper, but Logan only smiled.

“We’ll see about that,” he answered.

The platform beneath them shifted as the fields began to fill into place; all four turned and inspected them as they rose to the floor. A forest, pirate ship, the geysers, and…

Valerie gasped. “The gravity fields! Oh, you two are going down!”

“Val, don’t give our strategies away!”

“In three… two… one…”

They scrambled to get into position.

“BEGIN!”

Valerie threw her ball in the air and jumped after it, twirling up just high enough to slam her padded knee into it, surrounding it in a bright purple glow, and send it flying towards Logan and Patton. The two dove out of the way just in time; when the ball hit the ground, it dimmed and skidded like it was made of stone. She leapt towards it and grabbed it while somersaulting, and as soon as she was back on her feet, she tossed it up and began to bounce it between her knees. The purple glow grew with each hit.

Logan caught himself from tumbling by placing one hand on the ground and pressing down hard until he slowed to a stop. The second he regained his balance, he changed his book into its pistol form and aimed at Valerie’s ball; just as he was about to fire, Jo’s spear flew in and knocked it out of his hand. While his weapon skidded away, the spear redirected itself and soared right back into Jo’s hand just as he started to charge at Logan.

He was quick to throw up his arm and block the first swing, but Jo was quicker, grabbing the bar between his spear’s double-blades and detaching it from its handle. He balanced the pole on Logan’s forearm armor and spun it; Logan ducked down and somersaulted underneath Jo’s legs just before it collided with the back of his head. Jo whipped around and slammed the blades toward him, but they smashed into the ground while Logan leapt up and sprinted towards his own weapon.

“That’s my son!” a voice cried from the stands.

Logan cast a quick glance up to where his father was on his feet, screaming and jumping up and down. He let out a huff of exasperation before focusing back on the fight.

Letting out a yelp, Patton hastily threw his shield in front of his face just before Valerie’s ball could hit. It bounced off, the impact creating a vibration so intense he could practically feel his bones shake, and shot back towards her. She jumped a few inches off of the ground to headbutt it against the purple sweatband on her forehead, right back into his shield. Patton whimpered and took a step back as another bout of discomfort shot through his whole body. He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to focus, but at the next hit, he felt a tingle run up his arms. He bit his tongue and tried to keep it in.

“Patton!”

A strap wrapped around his bicep and yanked him away just in time, the ball just grazing the side of his head as he was whipped away. He found himself tumbling across the floor, only landing on his feet by chance; when he inevitably lost his balance, Logan caught him by the shoulders and righted him.

“Breathe, Patton,” he ordered. “Try to focus it.”

With a battle cry, Jo leapt into the air and brandished their re-combined spear over their head. Patton shoved Logan away and held up his shield. Jo didn’t miss a beat; he shifted just enough to use it as a springboard and flipped over him, choosing instead to javelin the spear at Logan, who sidestepped it and flung his book into his stomach. The impact sent Jo flying into the gravity fields, and his spear wasn’t far after.

A split second later, the glowing rubber ball flew between their heads, followed by Valerie chasing after both it and her teammate. She turned and shot a wink at them, smile as bright as her weapon.

“Catch us if you can!” she laughed.

As soon as her feet left the middle platform, Valerie soared into the air, leaning forward enough to hit her ball against an elbow pad and send it towards Jo; she flipped a couple of times before coming to a gentle landing on one of the large walls floating above the ground. Jo stood upside down on a platform above her and swung his spear at the ball, knocking it back to her like a game of baseball. She sent it back with her knee and ran up the wall to get closer to her teammate.

“That’s what the gravity fields do?!” Patton squeaked.

But Logan was already sprinting towards their opponents, only allowing himself a little wobble when he jumped off of the main floor and was pulled towards a platform three away from the others. Patton swallowed thickly and followed after.

His head began to swim once he was in the air, feeling himself being pulled towards or against all sorts of different directions; immediately, his arms and legs shot out, trying to get the balance that the area had no laws over. His stomach flipped as quickly as he himself did, and he watched as patches of ice started to form on the platforms he passed.

In the stands, Virgil cringed and ran a hand through his hair, ducking half his face beneath the wall in front of their seats as if it could shield him from what was happening to his partner. “Oh, Pat…!”

“That can’t be good,” Thamir said.

Logan somersaulted and used his hands to launch himself off of his platform, righting himself perfectly to land the final gap between himself and Jo. Jo turned to glance at him and smirked; the ball came flying in, and he batted it towards Logan, who threw up an arm for it to bounce against. It sent a shot of pain through his muscles, but it bounced at just the right angle for it to fly away from either of the members of Team SVIJ. Valerie began to maneuver her way back to it while Logan reared back and threw his book at Jo.

The strap wrapped tight around his spear, and Jo attempted to yank back and pull Logan with him, but he dug his heels into the floor and held his ground. He grabbed the strap with both hands and pulled, locking them in a tug of war of weapons.

Beneath them, the white glow around the edges of the platform switched to purple, and their feet lifted off of the floor. As they fell, they both yanked themselves towards each other, punching and kicking when they were close enough, until the side of another platform separated them. They both slammed against the floor of their respective sides.

As Logan clambered to his feet, a hand brushed against his hair, and he looked up in time to watch Patton yelp as he floated by.

“Logan, help!” he cried.

“Get to a platform!”

“I don’t know how!”

Before Logan could reply, he was yanked away and over the edge of the platform, the force causing him to lose his grip on his strap and send him flying in a completely different direction. He crashed into a large cube with a grunt. As he pushed himself up, he watched Jo tuck his book into his jacket and leap off to another platform.

Logan growled and pushed himself to his feet, only for the gravity to begin to shift again. He sprinted up the wall as fast as he could and dove, grabbing onto the corner just as his feet lifted off of the ground. Carefully, he swung his other arm up and pulled himself to the top as he calculated how to get to either Valerie or Jo from where he was.

Just as he began to stand, a yell sounded behind him, and a body slammed into his back, sending them both back to the floor. Valerie’s ball rolled innocently across their faces as he and Patton hurried back to their feet.

“H-Hey, I made it to a platform finally!” Patton laughed.

Logan glared. “Patton…,” he growled.

Before he could say another word, Patton reached down and snatched the ball up, tucking it under his arm. “Well, if they can steal your weapon, we can steal theirs, too! No need to play dirty in a tourna—Oof!”

Valerie slammed her feet into Patton’s back, sending him flying off the platform and her ball out of his grip and into the air; she hit it up with her elbow and blocked a punch from Logan before kicking him in the chest and sending him back a few steps. They repeated this a few times, with Valerie playing keepie-uppie with her weapon and Logan throwing attacks in between, until Logan’s legs were knocked out from under him and he dropped to the floor.

He rolled to the side just in time to dodge Jo’s spear coming towards him and slamming his elbow into his chest. As Jo recoiled, Logan smashed the heel of his palm into his chin and kicked him back into Valerie, who dropped her ball as the two stumbled off of the edge.

Logan was about to leap after them when Patton crashed into him again and sent them flying in a different direction than intended. They each grabbed onto each other by instinct as they swirled around, but once Logan’s head stopped spinning, he huffed and shot Patton a glare.

“I’m sorry!” Patton yelped in return. “I didn’t mean to!”

In a split second decision, Logan grabbed his teammate’s wrist and whirled as hard as he could, launching Patton out of the gravity fields and back towards center stage. Patton’s gasp and wide eyes followed Logan as the momentum sent himself onto another platform; as he landed, he checked to make sure safely made it to the floor.

Roman threw his hands in the air and jumped up, practically yanking Riad out of his seat when he refused to let go of his hand. “What is he doing?!”

Virtus and Esther glanced at each other, both letting out a soft, deflating sigh.

A blast of wind slowed Patton’s trajectory down, but he tumbled across the floor no less. With a quick glance at the scoreboard to check his Aura, Logan determined Patton would be alright while he took Team SVIJ out on his own.

Jo threw his spear at Valerie’s ball and knocked it over to where the two of them stood; she jumped up and caught it, and as soon as his weapon was back in his hands, they turned their backs to each other and looked around.

“Where’d you go, kid?” Jo muttered.

A blur shot by to their side, and they snapped their gazes over in time to see Logan high in the air above. His fist was reared back, and his necklace about to hit himself in the face; the platform behind him began to suck him towards it, but the gravity shifted just in time.

He let out a cry as the fields launched him towards the two.

They each jumped to the side just as he smashed into the ground; they reared their weapons back, but Logan was quick to block. He swatted Jo’s spear to shoot over his shoulder, and punched Valerie’s ball up and away. Jo threw his weapon across his body and pulled him tight to his chest, but Logan grabbed it and shoved it away, throwing his head back to collide with his jaw. While he stumbled, he ripped it away and used it to swipe Valerie’s feet out from under her.

He spun and crouched, holding the blade towards Jo while he recovered. As soon as he realized what had happened, he glared and pulled Logan’s book out of his jacket, switching it immediately into its pistol form and firing a few rounds. Logan spun the spear to block each bullet before charging towards him, blade out.

As soon as he was close enough, Jo ducked and somersaulted underneath Logan’s legs, purposefully knocking one out with his shoulder. Logan stumbled and rolled; he got back to his feet as fast as he could, only for the rubber ball to slam into his chest. The force knocked the spear out of his hand and sent him flying up and off of the platform.

He managed to right himself before landing on the closest ground he could find, only dropping to his knees when it pulled him in faster than he was expecting. He allowed himself just a moment to catch his breath and assess the situation when bullets began to strike the ground around him. Shooting to his feet, he ran, glancing over to watch as Jo fired Logan’s pistol while Valerie charged up her ball.

Logan was just about to leap again when a bullet knocked the book out of Jo’s hands; shortly after, another hit the ball away.

Right on the edge of center stage, Patton held up his shield, one eye shut for aim as he fired at their opponents.

A spark of pride shot through Logan’s soul just as he reached the top of the platform. He turned to send Patton a smile and thumbs up, when—

His foot slid out from under him.

Logan sucked in a gasp as he slipped off of the edge, hands reaching to grip the edge and catch himself, but they were only met with slippery ice. As he tumbled towards the ground, he bounced off of no less than two separate platforms; he slammed into the corner of the third and final one before he found himself hitting the tiles below.

A buzzer sounded.

“Ooh, and there goes the powerhouse of Team PRVL!” Professor Port’s voice yelled. “A rare ring-out caused by a student’s own teammate!”

Logan felt the blood drain from his face.

“It’s up to Mr. Passio to save this match now! But can he do it without any aid from his team?”

Patton’s eyes widened as Jo and Valerie started to make their way over to him. He fired a few rounds towards them, but they dodged without missing a beat.

“Pat, go for cover!” Virgil screamed.

Just as they were leaping off of the last platform, Patton turned on his heel and started to sprint towards the trees. He heard them hit the ground, and just a second later, Jo’s spear flew past. He yelped and spun around; immediately, he threw his shield up to block the ball. A whimper ripped out of his throat at both the sound and the shock crawling up his forearms.

Patton forced himself to take a deep breath before allowing himself to look up; the two were sprinting towards him at full speed. He squeezed his eyes shut and threw out his hand towards the ground, trying to focus on the fear running through his veins instead of the electricity.

Just as he opened his eyes, Valerie stepped on the sheet of ice that had formed in front of her. She froze and cried out, face contorting in pain, and stumbled down to the ground before ripping herself away from the area.

A blast of wind knocked Jo back a few steps while Patton gasped, but he recovered quick enough; his spear flew back into his hands, and he swung it towards his side. Patton jumped sideways and blocked it with his shield. While he was turned away, Jo jabbed his fingers into the side of his neck, and Patton screamed. His knees buckled, hand flying up to protect the area.

Jo startled at the reaction and went to catch him, but ice shot out around them, and he fell to the ground on top of him. He was quick to roll off, but a statically charged punch hit him in the stomach, causing him to slide halfway across the field. He landed near Valerie, who was just shaking off her own pain and reaching for her ball.

Patton, back on his feet, whirled around to look at them, eyes filled with panicked tears and hands cupping his neck. Crackles of electricity flew off his forearms, and his breath came out in erratic gasps.

Jo and Valerie shot each other concerned glances.

In the stands, both Virgil and Roman shot to their feet and grabbed the wall in front of them in white-knuckled grips.

“No, no, no, not now!”

“Breathe, Patton, breathe! Shit!”

Carefully getting to her feet, Valerie looked over at Patton. “We gotta end this,” she stated to Jo.

He glanced up at the board and pulled his spear into his hands. “His Aura’s low. One good hit should knock him out,” he replied. “Watch out for his electricity.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

Jo planted his feet in the ground and held out his spear; Valerie grabbed onto the handle between the blades and started to run. He whipped her around himself a few times before she detached the blades and skated at full speed towards Patton. He threw out his left hand to try to catch her, but she grabbed him by the shield and twisted his arm behind his back. Bolts of lightning started to shoot out, but she held tight, using his weapon to her advantage.

On the other end of the stage, Jo backed up as far as he could before sprinting to the ice and hopping on, arm reared back as far as it could go. He slammed his fist into Patton’s stomach and used his torso to catch himself, sliding to a stop next to Valerie.

Patton fell to the floor and covered his ears as the buzzer echoed through the arena.

The screams of the crowd and the cheers of the announcers were lost to their ears as they dropped down next to him.

“Are you okay?” Jo asked.

Patton nodded, despite choking on a sob.

In an instant, Logan was skidding across the ice on his knees to make it to his teammate. He reached up and grabbed both of Patton’s biceps, squeezing them tight when he whimpered.

“Patton? Patton, it’s alright,” he tried.

Virgil and Roman bolted as soon as the fight was over, nearly tripping over Virtus and Esther in their haste to get to the aisle. Esther was quick to follow, and Riad and Thamir weren’t far behind.

Just as Virtus was getting up to join them, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and he froze. The all too familiar feeling of eyes on him caused his skin to crawl. His eyes flicked around the crowd until he found the source, standing at the bottom of the balcony two sections above.

Despite having been caught, the woman stood her ground, and they started at each other for a long, arduous moment. Virtus couldn’t read her expression from as far away as she was, especially with half of her face covered, but between her crossed arms and stiff posture, he could only find himself putting his guard up.

After a long minute, she finally turned and headed up the stairs, magenta ponytail flicking behind her.

Virtus watched her go before following after his family.

--------------------

“Patton— Patton, please just let me—”

“Ah—Ah! Roman…!”

Letting out a soft huff, Roman sat back on the bed, ice pack dropping to his lap. “It’s going to bruise if we don’t ice it, Pat,” he stated. “Do you have any idea how painful bruised gills are? Because from what I hear, it’s a lot.”

“It feels fine right now,” Patton whined.

“Yeah, because Virgil’s holding you.”

Virgil’s already-closed eyes squeezed tighter, and he pulled Patton closer against his chest. “Don’t distract me,” he muttered.

Patton patted his arm with his free hand while his other gripped white-knuckled at his collar. “C-Can’t we just put it on top of this? The cold would get through eventually, right?”

“It would if you’d let me touch your neck,” Roman pointed out.

He immediately curled in on himself, shoulders almost coming up to his ears; they bumped against Virgil’s jaw, and he flinched. Patton let out a hiss when the pain started to seep back in.

“Gah—sorry, sorry!”

Virgil quickly pulled him into his arms again. Roman could only watch and offer Patton a pointed stare. When the ache began to ebb, their leader looked up and sighed.

“Am I allowed to hold it instead?” he asked, voice wavering dangerously close to tears.

If there was anything that could convince Roman to break every rule he knew, it was a sad Patton.

Reluctantly, he handed him the ice pack. “You can’t hold it on for too long at a time,” he said, “Or it’s going to burn your scales and hurt even worse. Fifteen minutes at a time, max.”

Patton wiped at his eyes and carefully peeled his collar away just enough to set it on his swollen gills. A shiver wracked up his spine, prompting both Virgil and Roman to reach to wrap his detached cape tighter around him. He squirmed under the attention.

“Guys, I’m fine, really,” he whispered.

Letting out a soft sigh, Virgil carefully rested his forehead on Patton’s opposite shoulder. “We know, we’re just… worried about you,” he said. His eyes flicked over to the empty other side of the room. “…Logan, too. But he’s too stubborn to let us take care of him.”

“He isn’t not letting us take care of him,” Roman replied. “I’m sure he just wants to be with his parents right now.”

“…He really wanted to win, didn’t he?”

The question hung in the air, answer only coming with the silence it created. Patton frowned and lowered his ice pack, fingers reaching up to fiddle with the clasp of his collar.

“I hope he’s alright.”

--------------------

Logan clutched tight at his necklace, tugging at it as if it would help his cause. “Father, please.”

“Logan, no,” Virtus answered. “You don’t need to do any training tonight. You fought great today and deserve a rest!”

“I do not. There is clearly a need for me to keep working, and I would like to take advantage of you being here while you are,” Logan shot back.

Virtus rubbed a hand over his face, leaning back against the wall outside of the training arena. “You won’t learn anything if you’re exhausted.”

“Falsehood. Any training will still extend to my muscle memory.”

“But your brain isn’t going to retain it after a day like today.”

Crossing his arms, Logan raised an eyebrow. “Father, you of all people should know that we won’t have time to rest and recover when we’re in the field,” he stated.

“I do know that, and that’s exactly why I’m pushing you to relax,” he said, waving an arm out. “Look around you. You’ve got yourself surrounded by friends, training partners, time to study and do what you want… Take advantage of it while you’re here, Logan. This isn’t going to last forever.”

Logan scowled. “Why should I take advantage of it when it only serves to underprepare me? I can’t let myself get used to the luxuries here.”

“Because you’re going to miss this.” Virtus shook his head and looked around campus. “These four years are your last chance to be a kid, you know. Enjoy it while you can. It might not seem like it now, but after you graduate, you’re going to wish you had another chance to be young and reckless without any serious consequences.

“I don’t want you to look back with regret that you grew up too fast. I know you already did when… when we lost your mother. You deserve a chance at the same carefree childhood that the rest of us had. I know you have that here with your team, your friends. You can’t just push away everything that’s kind to you to harden up for the real world. It’s going to eventually do that for you anyway.”

Logan’s face slowly began to soften as he mulled over what he’d been told. A deep, weighted breath tumbled out of his lungs, and he looked away, closing his eyes.

“Father… I understand what you’re attempting to say,” he muttered, “But I can’t… I can’t—I can’t let myself continue to be a failure because I didn’t push myself enough when I could have.”

Virtus froze. “Failure?” he asked. “When have you ever been a failure?”

Letting out a huff, Logan turned and began to pace.

“I have been consistently failing at nearly everything from the moment I arrived at Beacon Academy!” he admitted. “I fail to keep myself focused on my studies instead of getting distracted by the world around me. I fail to understand how to form relationships of any sort; all of my friends so far have either been through assignments or association! I failed to realize Virgil was starting to struggle with anxiety before it impacted his health, I failed to save Roman before he got himself into danger twice, and I’m still failing to help Patton cope with what we’re increasingly suspecting to be autism, despite the fact that I’m autistic and am the most qualified of our team to teach him!”

Virtus opened his mouth, but Logan whirled around with desperate eyes before he could get a word out.

“And you saw what happened today!” he cried. “I thought I was making the right decisions, but everything I did was wrong! I failed my team, I failed Patton, I failed you! And I…”

Logan sucked in a trembling breath, turning his face away before his father could see the growing wetness of his eyes.

“…I failed Mother.”

Virtus could only think of one time where his world was rocked so suddenly.

“Logan… Logan, no, no, Logie!”

His breath rushed out of him as he rushed to his son, wrapping his arms tight around him and burying his nose in his hair. He cupped the back of his head and gently began to rock them; when Logan hugged him back, he could feel the slight tremor in his arms.

It was a long few minutes before they moved again. Virtus pulled away first, keeping a hand on Logan’s back, and directed them to a nearby bench, where he had Logan sit. Virtus kneeled down in front of him and pulled his mask down to his chin.

“There has not been a single moment since the day you were born where I wasn’t so incredibly proud of the person you’ve become,” he assured. “You are, without a doubt, the greatest thing that ever happened to us. You’re strong, you’re brilliant, you have a good heart, even if you struggle to express it sometimes… It’s like someone took the best parts of your mother and I and put them into one person. How could I ever not be proud of you?”

He reached up and gently took hold of Logan’s necklace, an old ache hiding just behind his eyes.

“I knew your mother better than almost anyone,” he said, slight crack in his voice, “and I know she felt the same way. She never, never would have seen you as a failure. Especially not over something as silly as a tournament.”

“I wanted to win for her,” Logan choked out. “I thought… I thought if I could get as far as she did, then I’d have lived up to her expectations. I’d have lived up to her. But I-I couldn’t even do that.”

Virtus took Logan’s hands and held them tight. “The only expectations she had for you was for you to be happy, Logan. She couldn’t have cared less about your skills as a Huntsman. You could have been knocked out by a gust of wind, and she’d have loved you all the same. You were her pride and joy, and nothing in this world could have ever changed that.”

He pulled a hand away to cup Logan’s cheek, doing what he could to cover the scars from view. A soft smile formed on his lips.

“I see so much of her in you,” he whispered. “The way you fight, the way you speak… The way you put so much pressure on yourself to do better, even when you’re already giving more than you have to offer.” He started to rub soft circles into his skin. “And I’m going to tell you the same thing I always told her: You’re doing fine.”

Logan shook his head, refusing to look at him. “But Mother—”

“—Had her flaws, too,” Virtus interrupted. “She didn’t win every fight. She didn’t catch every sign when her friends were struggling. And she certainly wasn’t perfect. But she was so, so loved, not just despite all that, but because of it, and you are, too.”

He pulled his hand away from his face, scooping up both of Logan’s again.

“You are, too,” he repeated.

Sucking in a trembling breath, Logan nodded. His shoulders hesitantly lowered, as if he was forcing himself to lift a weight that had haunted him for years.

“Okay,” he whispered. “Okay.”

“And Logan…”

Virtus sighed, looking at the ground.

“I love you and I am so proud of you,” he said. “I know you know that, and I know you know Esther does, too. And we always want to you understand that you can always come to us when you’re struggling with something.”

He squeezed his hands before turning back to him. “But you need to rely on your team, too,” he stated. “They love you and care about you just as much as we do, and I’m sure they want to help you as much as you want to help them. I know you’re strong, and you’re capable of handling things on your own; you’ve been doing it since the day you scaled the bookcase in the living room when we put your favorite story on the top shelf.”

Logan let out a weak laugh. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you scream louder than when you saw me.”

“And I never saw your mother move as fast as she did when it startled you and you lost your footing,” Virtus chuckled.

Another noise came out of Logan, this one a mix between a laugh and a sob; a tear trailed down his cheek. He reached to wipe it away, but Virtus gently caught his wrist and used the pad of his own thumb to do it instead.

“My point is,” he said, “You don’t have to do everything alone, Logan. Let your friends take care of you. I’m more than willing to bet that they’d be honored to have the chance. Okay?”

Logan nodded, but the deep frown on his face didn’t budge. “I… I just don’t think I know how,” he admitted.

Virtus offered him a soft smile.

“Then let them teach you.”

Logan considered this for a long moment, and then he nodded again, tipping forward to rest his forehead on his father’s shoulder. Virtus wrapped his arms around him and held him close.

For one blissful moment, it almost felt like everything was okay in the world. Every problem, every emotional strain and social struggle fell away when his father was there to shield him.

In the back of his mind, Logan was reminded of a time where he felt the cold sting of a winter breeze on his ears. The crunching of footsteps against a thick blanket of snow landed in time with the jostling of his tiny body against her shoulder. He could practically still smell the vanilla and coffee radiating off of the thick coat he rested on. Her silky brunette hair tickled when it brushed against his face.

He didn’t want to open his eyes. But he knew it wasn’t going to last forever.

When they finally pulled away, a soft set of footsteps approached.

“I think you’ve both earned a little something nice today,” Esther quietly spoke, holding out the drink carrier in her hands. “Hot apple cider with a hint of caramel, fresh out of the press.”

Virtus climbed up to the bench to sit to the left of Logan, and Esther sat herself on his right, passing out the drinks with only soft “thank-you”s to break the silence. Their shoulders rested against each other as they sipped, despite the ample room on their seat, serving as a gentle reminder of their presence.

Logan found his eyes drifting towards the building where his dorm was. He could see the light on inside, but they were far too distant to be able to make out anymore details. A dull pang settled in his heart at the thought of them having fun without him; he pressed his lips together and looked down at his lap.

Perhaps he could skip training for one night.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #rwby au #prvl #alex writes

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atinydise · 4 years

Text

Ateez reacting to their s/o being an artist

❦ Genre: Fluff.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 12k4.

❦ Requested: Yes, thank you! 🦋

❦ Masterlist.

HONGJOONG

It’s been 3 weeks that you were painting his jacket. You bought it last month for your boyfriend: Hongjoong. But something was missing. You couldn’t find the perfect details for him. Hongjoong was known to be a fashionista. Every time, he had a free day, he would hang out with you or let his creative mind customize his clothes. So, after a long time thinking about the perfect gift for him, you rushed to the store to bought all you needed as paint, brush, sparkles, patterns, etc. You were happy that your art lessons were useful, finally. Being an artist was not your dream job, but you wished you could draw or paint more.

When Hongjoong arrived at the dance practice room, he was surprised to see you there, sitting on the couch, probably waiting for him. “Oh, what are we doing here?” he asked. “Hello to you too Joongie,” you stood up holding his wrapped gift on your arms. “Sorry,” he giggled, “hello Y/N!” He pecked you slightly. “Better,” you said, smiling like an idiot. He pointed at the pack, “what is it?” You handed your gift to him, being nervous a little bit more every second, “it’s a gift for you.” He smiled and rushed next to the desk to open it properly. You stayed still, looking at any reactions. “Wow, Y/N…” he said amazed by your artwork. He looked at the back and was shocked to see your signature at the top, near the collar. “You can be honest with me! If you don’t like it, I will buy something else for you!” You walked up next to him. He shook his head and faced you,” no it’s more than perfect! Why you hadn’t told me earlier that you were an artist?” “I’m not a real one… I just enjoyed my art lessons a lot.” You smiled. He tried the jacket and checked his back on the mirror, “this is beautiful Y/N! I feel like a beginner now next to you!” he laughed. “Happy that you like it,” you giggled, happy that your artwork paid off. “Promise me that we will customize or paint together now?” he asked, holding your hands. “Promise.” You nodded, satisfied that he loved the jacket so much.

SEONGHWA

You were enjoying a day off with your boyfriend: Seonghwa. He offered to spend the afternoon on the rooftop of their dorm. The weather was warm so with snacks and cuddles it would be more than perfect. Since you got there, you talked about everything. You felt like you hadn’t talked like that (without being interrupted by his teammates) since a long time. As the sun was warming both of you and without looking at Seonghwa, you knew that he fell asleep next to you. How you knew it? The little sound he does when he’s sleeping. With the light and the flowers blooming around him, you couldn’t help but to find it pretty and aesthetic. Without thinking twice, you quietly left the rooftop to the dorm. You looked for a paper and a pen. Of course, you find it in Hongjoong’s bedroom. You climbed back on the rooftop, hoping that he was still sleeping. Bingo, he was even snoring. You sat down next to him and started to draw the beautiful features of your boyfriend. You respected exactly how the sun light was illuminating his face. After 10 longs minutes, Seonghwa cracked an eye to look what was the strange sound next to him. When he saw the smile on your face, he was confused but he noticed the paper and the pen on your hands. “Are you studying?” he asked, sitting properly, ready to help you. You shook your head happily and showed his portrait. He blinked and stared intensely at the sheet, “d-did you drew it?” You rolled your eyes, “no it was a little Leprechaun who came just to draw you.” You said sarcastically, “of course it’s me babo*!” Too amazed by your talent, he didn’t react at you calling him an idiot. “This is incredible Y/N! I didn’t know that you were drawing so well!” You winked, “there’s many things you don’t know about me yet!” “But the thing I know is that you need to draw me a lot more! I look so good!” You scoffed and snatched the paper off his hands. “I don’t know if your ego deserves it.” “Pleaseeeee,” he begged starting to tickle you. “You are too talented to hide it!” You knew that you wouldn’t resist at his ministrations. But you would love to have him as a model.

*babo: idiot in Korean.

YUNHO

You were invited at “ATEEZ game party”, like every Saturday when they’re not promoting. Each time they were playing a game the whole night. Tonight, they choose the Pictionary. Your partners were Wooyoung and Jongho. “It’s not because you are my girlfriend that I will let you win Y/N!” said Yunho, cockily. “Yes sure,” you said smirking. You were dating for 2 weeks now and you never told him yet that you were pretty good at drawing. You couldn’t wait to see his reactions. After several rounds, Yunho and Mingi were winning but you hadn’t draw yet. “Seems like we know the winner already!” Hi-fiving Mingi. “So, this is my turn?” You stood up, grabbing the marker on the table.” You smiled at your teammates and asked, “are you ready boys?” They nodded and focused directly on the board. When you heard the countdown biped, you rushed to draw the first hint. Wooyoung instantly yelled, “An angel!” “Correct!” Waisting no time, you continued to draw. “A horse!” Another point. “A university!” Yelled Jongho. “Yes!” you smiled.” “BIBIMBAP!” said Wooyoung. ”No?” “OH BULGOGI!” corrected the maknae. Yunho’s jaw dropped every time he saw you drawing so easily, pulverizing his score. “Crazy in love!” Answered Wooyoung at the last second. He stood up and clapped, “you are drawing so well. It’s impossible to not guess!” Yunho nodded and added, “he’s right! I didn’t know that you were such an artist!” “I keep some details private,” you stuck your tongue out. When you sat down, San ordered, “first to be in Y/N’s team at the next round.” “She’s my girlfriend! I need to be in her team!” “I will choose San as my teammate.” You smirked. “W-What? Traitor!” claimed Yunho. “You were the first to say that you wouldn’t let me win, traitor.” You winked. He rolled his eyes and smiled. I will take my revenge Y/N!”

YEOSANG

“You? An artist? I don’t believe you,” laughed Yeosang. “Why? I can draw properly!” you tried to persuade him. Yeosang was your crush since the high school, and he got one for you too but none of you confessed. Why? Because you were 2 cowards. Plus, even if you knew each other since a long time, you never told him that you wanted to be an artist. Next to his dream of becoming an idol, you find yours ridiculous. You never showed him the artwork you made even if you really wanted to. “I never saw you drawing anything in 3 years,” he said boldly. “But I do.” “Then show me some and I will tell if you are a real artist,” he smirked. You weren’t okay with that at first, but it was just Yeosang and you would get another advices and critics on your art. “Okay,” you sat on the couch and looked for the little diary you are using when you have a sudden inspiration. He raised a brow, “is it your secret diary?” You rolled your eyes and opened randomly a page in front of him. There were portraits, sketches or even human representations in the real life. Yeosang was paying attention to everything, turning every page consciously. It made you a lot more nervous. ‘So?...” You finally asked, waiting any reaction. “You are really… talented Y/N,” he answered, not leaving the diary. “Really?! You like it?” you said happily. “Yes! Now, I’m mad that you hadn’t showed me this well before today! This is incredible!” You giggled, a bit embarrassed, “thank you.” Yeosang was still looking at every page when he noticed that this specific one was surrounded by his his portrait. “Am I your model number 1?” he asked arrogantly. “Huh- probably…” you simply replied, blushing lightly. He smirked and put his arm around your shoulder, “than if I’m your model number 1, I’m your fan #1! You are so talented.” He confessed, smiling at you. You didn’t reply, too focus on hiding the blush on your face but you knew that it was useless. If you knew, you would show him a lot earlier than this.

SAN

“What? Are you serious?” asked San. Your friend nodded happily while you were hiding your face from embarrassment. “An artist? I know you were good at painting, etc. but being an artist was your dream job?” You sighed, “yes in high school.” “And she was determined till we graduated!” “Yes… but it’s so hard to start from nothing, I just gave up.” “I can’t believe it!” Said San, visibly shocked. “And she wanted to expose her artwork in a gallery! Like a real artist!” You sighed again when you friend revealed your secrets. “Y/N! You need to follow your dream and achieve your goal.” You smiled at your boyfriend, “I can’t do that San-ie. I have another job now-“ “That you hate!” he said straight. “Yes, but I need money to live.” “Quit your job and I’ll help you to promote your paints or something else!” He ordered enthusiastically. “San… I don’t want to take advantage of your popularity to-“ “You are not! He’s offering to help you!” said your friend. San nodded and said, “exactly! I want the entire world to know how talented you are.” You were really hesitant but one part of you really wanted to give it a try. “But what if nobody likes what I do?” “They will like it for sure!” he said holding your hand to reassure you. “Come on Y/N! We all know that you want to do it.” Said your friend. “You took a deep breath and finally agreed, “let’s go give a try then!” Both of them shouted a big “Yes”, finally relieved that you will achieve and follow the path you really wanted to take. “But I have only one condition.” Said San, seriously. You stared at him, waiting his explanation a bit confused. “You will need to paint me and add it on your gallery.” You laughed and nodded in approval. Of course, you could do that, he’s the one for what everything would be possible.

MINGI

Mingi and you were walking to your apartment. It was your first date, and everything went well. You ate in a casual and not too luxurious restaurant and ended by a little walk at the Han River. It’s been a long time since you had so much fun. When he offered to take you back at your home safely, you accepted and even proposed to eat an ice cream there since it was hot tonight. He didn’t take too long to accept. “Who would refuse a vanilla ice cream?” he said. Just in front of your entrance door, you stopped and faced him without saying anything. “Something’s wrong?” he asked. “It’s probably a mess inside….” You bit your lips. “Maybe I should clean a bit first.” He smiled, “don’t worry, I’m living with 7 boys and only one is cleaning the dorm.” You scratched your head embarrassed but you turned around and unlocked the door. You hesitate a second to turn on the lights, but you couldn’t stay on the dark for the rest of the night. Mingi followed you calmly and looked around him. “Yes… I know this is messy.” You said, ashamed by yourself. “It’s pretty clean… I’m just surprised to see that you are an artist.” “Oh.” It’s true that you never talked about your passion with him yet. “I’m drawing since a long time now.” You simply replied, looking at your artwork in the corner of the room. Mingi pointed at the pain on the wall, “you did this?” You nodded, “yes and this is my favorite.” “You are amazing Y/N,” he shouted. He was looking at every details of the frame. The way you painted every classic dancer as with swan’s elegancy was incredible. “You should have told me earlier! I would organize a better date for you!” You giggled, “it was already perfect!” “I will do better next time!” you smiled. “Then okay,” you replied happily. An hour later Mingi and you were talking about each other dreams and childhood. The whole night, while you were eating this ice cream, he begged you to gift one of your future paint. That was a successful date.

WOOYOUNG

You were laying lazily on your bed. Outside the weather was terrible: it was raining and windy. You were supposed to visit an outside art gallery, but the rain ruined your plan and your mood too. “Come on Y/N… you can visit it another day.” “Yes, but I wanted to see it today…” “Why?” he raised a brow. “Because I knew I would get inspiration!” He laughed, “ I didn’t know that you liked art that much.” You pouted. He noticed that you were really disappointed so he thought about something to do which can replace the gallery. But you came out with an idea before him. “Wooyoung-ie.” You whispered shyly, “Can I draw you? As a special model?” He raised a brow, “what do you mean as a ‘special model’?” You smiled awkwardly, already regretting your request. “A nude model…” you said shyly. He choked with his saliva at this unbelievable request. “Y/N!” “Oh please! I never tried to draw someone before!” “You can draw me WITH my clothes!” he said outraged. “Oh, come one… don’t be so shy! I already saw you naked!” He stood up and get away from you, scared. “I said no! Can’t you be a normal artist!” You laughed at how shy he was, “come on… or at least topless.” He stayed quiet. It was not a big deal anymore. “Okay.” “YAY! I will grab my stuff!” You rushed to the living-room. “And why you never told me that you were an artist! And not only a “simple girl who likes to draw,” he mimicked you. “What a supportive boyfriend,” you shouted from the next room. “Everything for my lady,” he giggled, “except being a nude model.”

JONGHO

You were in Jongho’s arms, laying on the couch. He was rubbing your hand slowly while you were looking at your phone, scrolling on your Instagram feed. He noticed that many paintings, potteries, illustrations or graphics design were surrounding your feed. “You like art that much?” he asked. You just nodded on his chest. “You should give a try.” “I did but I’m not that talented,” you said. “Show me some of your artwork.” You nodded again lazily and cliqued on your phone gallery. You went on the “art” album and showed some pictures at Jongho. “You really did this?” he said pointing at your phone. “Yep, but… this is nothing special when you look at other art accounts.” “Are you kidding me?” he said straight. “This is incredible Y/N!” “You said that because you are my boyfriend.” “No! You have your own graphic identity!” You smiled, Jongho knew so many things even if it wasn’t related to his domain. “I just like blurry thing.” “For real baby! You should post at least one of your painting.” “But what if people mock me?” “He rolled his eyes and grabbed your phone, “I will upload it.” “W-What?” you freaked out. “You are an artist! An artist is always promoting her work!” You bit your lips. You knew he was right, but you never thought you would share your little secrets publicly. Jongho uploaded his favorite paint and pottery that you did. He added tags and a caption to show that you made it. “What a professional. Being an idol and communicating with his fans was helpful,” you thought “I’m pretty sure you will get nice and advised comments!” he smiled rubbing and messing your hair, happily. “I hope…” Waiting for a comment or a like, Jongho rubbed your cheek and said: “I like how we still learn about each other every day.” You nodded, “Yes, I’m living for this. I feel like you are a complete stranger but the person I know the most in this earth too.” You were dating for 3 months only but nothing was boring with the maknae. Like if everything was possible.

#ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez requests #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #Ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #ateez fluff #ateez cute #ateez x atiny #ateez x reader #ateez x you

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rolyatswonderland · 4 years

Text

TWST: A Mermaid’s Tale Pt.2

Yay it’s part 2 ^o^ I’m still not sure how many part’s this’ll have, but at most possibly 4 or 5-? we’ll have to see ^^;

Thank you so much to my bestie @blackevermore for helping me beta read the story! ;7;

Pt.1 - Pt.2(Here) - Pt.3(Soon)

Professor Divus sat quietly in his office, completing a stack of paperwork, until his door was roughly slammed open. He glared, watching a few papers from the stack fall to the floor due to a sudden breeze sweeping in, but the moment he saw the familiar shade of red hair all he could do was sigh in annoyance.

“Ah, you four again, whatever could be the issue this time.” Professor Divus saw Grim’s flames and knew that it meant that Deuce and Rolyat weren’t far behind. In all his years of teaching he had dealt with many troublesome students, the flaw of teaching at an all boys school. However it seemed that this year of teaching a new litter of puppies as troublesome as this four really had him questioning his profession, and one was neither human and the other not a boy. Despite having dealt with many of their shenanigans before, the sight of Deuce carrying Rolyat with a mermaid tail certainly caught him off guard.

“Ah- W-Well you see Professor we...sorta need your help- haha.” Ace couldn’t help but laugh awkwardly as he scratched the back of his head, glancing over to Deuce who was still holding the newly transformed girl.

“Explain yourselves,” Divus commanded with a sharp glare, his stare so serious that surely the four students before him felt a shiver of fear go up their spines. Ace and Deuce took the lead in explaining what had happened, presenting him with the two cans of scales and Grim even admitting to his own mistake and stubbornness. He remained partially quiet for most of it, only letting out a hum in response or a nod. After they finished explaining, Professor Divus took the cans and examined them, turning them over before letting out a dissatisfied grumble.

“I see, some foolish pup did not properly label these containers.” Divus held the cans in his hands with a dissatisfied expression on his face, then looked to Ace who seemed to have a confused look on his face.

“Uhm so, how come Roly didn’t turn into a whole fish on us? I mean she totally got splashed when the potion erupted but how come it’s just her legs that got the scale treatment?” Ace asked, Deuce and Grim nodding along, wondering the same thing.

“See this can here? It has a full fish drawn on the lid, this means that these were the fish scales you were meant to use in your assignment. ” Divus held up the still full can of celadon silver scales to show the group before placing it down and picking up the other can. “While this can looks like it has a fish on it, in actuality, it has only a fish tail drawn on, as these are mermaid scales that you seemed to have mistakenly dropped into your potion.” He held up the other can, displaying the pattern that could have been misinterpreted as a fish, but if viewed long enough will show the very obviously mermaid tail like pattern.

Deuce sighed, crossing his arms with a shamed look on his face,“Ah- they both just sort of looked like fish to us so...we weren’t exactly sure.” He felt quite foolish for not noticing such a difference before since he only paid attention to the labels.

“Hmmm,” Professor Divus looked over to Rolyat. The girl had been awfully quiet throughout their discussion, seeming rather spacey and she simply stared down into her lap while being held in Spade’s arms. “Miss Rolyat?” It took her a moment to respond, with a slow reaction time as she lifted her head, as if having just realized someone had called her name, she warily looked over to the Professor but didn’t say a word.

Staring intently, the Professor could see that the girls lips were awfully chapped and dry. Focusing his view on her tail he removed one of his gloves, reaching out his hand to touch at the pearlescent tail to find it surprisingly dry, with no feeling of the slick ooze that should have coated her tail. But after adding all these things together did he realize what was going on, looking at the boys with an urgent but serious look in his eyes.

“I’d advise you three to find Miss Rolyat a body of water immediately, her scales have started to dry out in the air, so her body is quickly being affected by the changes from the potion.”

“H-Huh? What does that mean?” Deuce asked, looking down at the girl in his arms with extreme confusion.

“Merfolk can survive out of water but not for very long, if they are kept too far from a body of water like any regular fish they will begin to suffocate, and due to the circumstances of her sudden transformation I worry that Miss Rolyats dried out tail is evidence that such a process has slowly begun.”

“HUH!?” The trio all gaped in shock. Their friend..was going to suffocate!? Immediately panic set it as they frantically looked to one another for what to do, but it seemed like Ace was the quickest to calm down after he realized something.

“I-I know just the place we can take her to! But Professor what about an antidote?” Ace asked concerned, looking over at his teacher in hopes of an answer, but the seemingly unsure expression on the Professors face drew a pit in his stomach.

“Sadly I ordered all the materials for the reversal potion to come in tomorrow, seeing as that was when you all would turn in your finished assignments and we would have then proceeded to the next phase of turning the animals back into their original forms.” Divus crossed his arms as he continued to stare at the girl. “I will go and discuss with Mr. Sam to see if we can obtain the materials sooner, but if not she should be fine as long as you find her a body of water to reside in until a reversal potion can be made, so for now I suggest you three hurry.” The trio nodded, taking a small bow before excusing themselves as they quickly exited the room. Divus could only sigh as he sat back down into his chair, resting his head in his hand with a troubled expression. “What troublesome puppies indeed…”

~~~

Ace ran ahead of the group with Grim still latched onto his shoulders, and Deuce was following close behind as he held on tightly to their friend. “S-So- Where are we going!?” Deuce shouted, the trio speeding past students who looked on in confusion and surprise.

“We’re heading for mostro lounge!” The red head’s answer almost made Deuce stop in his tracks entirely, but he continued running.

“Huh!? The freaky fish dudes!? You want us to go there?” Grim yelled in surprise, completely baffled as to why they would ever need to go to the Octavinelle dorm.

“Look those guys are fish people too right? So if anything they’re our best shot of helping us out! I mean they’ve got that big tank too in the lounge!” Ace looked back at Deuce as they ran. The trio didn’t have the fondest memories of the lounge, the place only serving as a reminder of their time as forced servers and Grims poor time as a dishwasher made them shutter. But if there were any people who could help their new mer-friend then it would have to be them.

“H-Hang in there Roly, okay?” Deuce looked down at the poor girl in his arms, she didn’t so much as open her eyes but she could still hear him, weakly giving him a thumbs up in response.

~~~

After weaving and bobbing past various students and racing to the hall of mirrors, not even hesitating for a moment before jumping into the Octavinelle portal. Soon they made a beeline for the lounge, bypassing any curious dorm members.

“Huh!? The Doors are locked shut!” Ace was the first one to get there with Grim, doing his best to push open the lounges double doors only to find them shut tight.

“Nyaa! What the hell! Don’t tell me they’re closed- there’s no way!” Grim shouted, baffled at the locked doors, seeing how Azul would never miss a chance for business unless he really needed to.

“Stand aside!” Deuce yelled, still running down the corridor before stopping just a bit away from the doors, and without a second's hesitation he turned his body, raising his leg in the air to swiftly kick at the doors, the trio watching them open on impact with his kick. Ace and Grim stared dumbfounded at their friend for a moment before watching him rush inside, the duo shaking it off as they ran and followed right behind them.

“Oh my, it’s you four” the tall Jade Leech was currently behind the bar counter, drying away at some dishes while Floyd, who sat at the bar, swiveled around in his seat to see who had made all the racket.

“Ehh, it’s crab and mackerel, with little sealy and lil’ shrimp too?” Floyd tilted his head curiously as he got up out of his seat, noticing the ‘little shrimp’ not looking too good in the arms of her fellow classmate.

“Just who do you lot think you are to cause such a commotion before opening hours?” An annoyed looking Azul came walking up the steps behind them, having heard the crash of the lounge’s doors opening and assessing the damages that would surely need to be paid back.

“Argh look we’ll pay to fix the door but seriously let us use the tank!” Ace didn’t want to be bothered with getting bombarded with questions, pointing at the large tank in the lounge as he stared down with Jade with a surprisingly determined expression, especially due to the fact that Ace was still somewhat scared of them.

“Oh? The tank you say?” Jade raised an eyebrow curiously at his underclassmen. His brother however just stalked closer to Deuce and Rolyat before reaching a hand out to take off the blazer on her waist, revealing the beautiful light pink tail.

“Waah! Little shrimps got a tail!” Floyd looked rather surprised, staring at the girl's pearlescent tail in awe.

“Okay yes she has a tail! Now just use that benevolent heart of yours and help us!” Ace shouted.

“Fgyaa! She’s gonna’ suffocate if we don’t hurry!” Grim followed right after. Grim and Ace’s words of panic seemed to fully settle in for the aquatic trio. Azul seemed shocked and baffled at the sight of the mermaid tail before quickly regaining composure, adjusting his glasses before looking to his vice dorm head.

“R-Right, Jade?” Azul was hesitant but quickly found his wording and turned to his right hand man.

“Hm, right away,” Jade nodded, setting the glass down and quickly making his way around the bar, beckoning his hand for the underclassmen to follow him through a door in the back of the lounge. The doorway leads to a backroom with a metal staircase leading upwards, seemingly for the top of the large fish tank that spreads a good amount around the lounge and even has a tunnel that connects the tank to the vast ocean that surrounds the rest of the dorm. Quickly the group made their way up the staircase, stopping at a platform before the large opening of the tank, the trio looking at their friend warily.

“Ah, pardon me but could I see Miss Rolyat for just a moment?” Jade held out his arms to Deuce who seemed wary at first, looking to his friends before Ace just nodded, telling him it would probably be alright. Deuce sighed, nodding back to Jade and handing him Rolyat. Jade immediately took notice of the girls pailing complexion and how dry the scales on her tail had become, so without a moment's hesitation he carefully slipped off the girls blazer and began unbuttoning her dress shirt, revealing the simple whitish pink camisole underneath.

“What are you-” Deuce went to stop Jade but stopped in his tracks when Jade shot him a look.

“It’ll be much easier for her skin to breath since it’s quickly started to change, merfolk are not known for wearing heavy layers you know.” Jade’s words quickly cut off Ace’s, the trio were about to question their upperclassman actions before simply letting it be, feeling that he would know best.

They did stand by and watch warily however, watching as Jade carefully lowered her body into the tank before letting her go as her body floated down to the bottom. He turned back to go down the stairs, the trio following close behind as they joined Floyd and Azul who were watching the tank to see what would happen.

Rolyat looked as if she were peacefully sleeping despite being in water. A couple of curious fish would swim over and stare, some even having the courage to nudge at her with what little force they had. Eventually however, her tail slowly started to move as her eyes fluttered open, she moved to sit up, tiredly confused until she came face to face with a yellow tang.

She screamed, hardly any sound coming out but saw the pleather of bubbles spill out of her mouth, suddenly realizing where she was she quickly covered her mouth and shut her eyes. But she soon realized that she wasn’t drowning, she uncovered her mouth and warily opened her eyes, looking around with confusion and then looked back at her tail as she moved around.

The sound of Jade gently knocking on the glass caught her attention, her view immediately catching sight of her friends as she clumsily swam over to them, head accidentally bumping into the glass barrier that separated them. Holding her head in slight pain she continued to look on in confusion, just barely being able to hear what they were saying as the group talked.

“She may remain here and we’ll do our best to provide support where we can, however I will expect some form of compensation for the repairs on the door.” Azul adjusted his glasses as he stared at the troublesome trio. The group only seems to sigh in response.

“Yeah yeah we will, sheesh.” Ace scratched the back of his head in annoyance as he glanced over to Deuce who seemed to be typing something on his phone before holding it up to the glass for Rolyat to see.

“We’ll come see you again when lunch time rolls around, but until then hang in there okay?” Deuce’s words of encouragement could barely be made out through the glass, but Rolyat read along with his phone, but all she could do was simply smile sweetly and nod her head.

They parted ways and she waved goodbye as her friends ran off to class, but now she felt a feeling of loss as she floated in the take, unsure of what to do in her current state.

She looked over to the Octavinelle trio, Azul simply nodding to her as he adjusted his glasses and walked away, likely going back to the vip lounge. Jade simply gave her his usual mysterious smile, taking a small bow to her before turning away and going to assess the damages of the door that Deuce had kicked through. Floyd on the other hand simply sat in the closest seat to the tank and grinned his sharp toothy smile at her, finding something amusing, which made her worried since Floyd’s smile’s could mean a plethora of things.

So just as Deuce had told her, all she could do was simply hang in there until they found whatever they could to fix this mess, and hopefully it wouldn’t take too long.

#waaah it was so much longer than the first part ;7;#but I hope it's satisfying until I upload the next one haha;;#twisted wonderland #twst sona #twst oc #twst mc #twst grim #ace trappola #deuce spade #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #twst

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hellguarded-a · 3 years

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Morning Anon!! It's been a while, but I see you're feeling a bit down and definitely you deserve praise and admiration!! I've been reading all your cute hc's about Ignis and he's very cute and very inspiring. Tell us about how you came up with such a good concept!? One day I'll stop being shy and intimidated, and approach you for writing! Until then, know that I really enjoy you and your content and art on my dash! Please keep up the good work, you're doing wonderful!

ahah oh well i think that’s a little exaggeration but uhhHH sure history of this character go--

THREE YEARS AGO. slowly creeping up on four, some fandom drama made me go fandomless, although i felt absolutely idea-less at the time and felt like i couldn’t really come up with a brand-new concept from the scratch, so i actually went through an extensive list of mythological monsters n was like... what do i want to write... because i was dead-set on writing a monster boy like the disappointment that i am

so i wanted something... not just a species, but some specific creature from mythology and settled on cerberus. so that’s what i originally wrote. same url and everything. was more fitting back then i think, but its still alright and i’m attached to it. especially when i later saw someone using the url hellgvarded so i was like hehe i did it first

so, cerberus, right. meaning i wanted to do something funky with some sort of split personality thing given the three heads n such. well i... couldn’t do it? but partially i blame the fact that i couldn’t really connect with his muse in general, nor the world i put him in. my plotting / shipping partner at the time didn’t really help that much. it was very dull, set in a more cyberpunk-ish setting as compared to a modern parallel to today’s world as his canon is now, he was even supposed to have some cybernetic implants and such, not that i ever decided on those. admittedly, that part then fuelled shinjou’s focus on that, but i digress. his human alias was still ignis, his lover at the time was called noctis ( hint hint as to how i drew inspo for his brother lmao but really the name is the only connection because i liked the duality ) and he was still some sort of secret agent / police force thing, although i never decided on how he’s gotten to earth in that incarnation. basically he really had no background or anything to him besides that.

so i abandoned that blog due to my inability to connect, and also partially because i managed to feel so completely overwhelmed on it within two days as it literally exploded. the promo got such immense traction for w/e reason that i had 200 followers within those two days, which sure it stroked my ego a lil but at the same time? well first off, it barely let me settle in and also made me feel awful because i felt like i owed ppl a lot... and i didn’t want to disappoint. so many ppl jumped in on that concept and???? i actually didn’t have any muse for it????? so rip.

so i dipped after that and made the kitsune twins. which stayed with me for another 2-3 years so i’d call that a success. i still off-handedly write them on discord and at least one of them is actually important to ig’s canon. or rather, i eventually revisitted ig to make him a plot device for shinjou. before that, however, he still existed in the back of my mind in a prototype of what the gonchiye is today. the gonchiye actually gave me a platform to revamp a lot of my old muses which i’m actually rly happy about, but. anyway, back then it was a german-based organization called die jagdhunde ( same deal lmao ) but instead of being entirely supernatural based it was a group of humans actually hunting the supernaturals due to supersitions and stuff like that. sometimes they’d capture some of them and force them to work for them, ig being one of those, kalisha being another. it’s what made me lowkey ship them, but in the end ig ended up having a strong male preference so him and lisha are just kinda like bff’s in their current canon. by then, i simply had ig as a regular hellhound rather than being cerberus himself as i wanted him to be mine rather than being a known mythology being, but he had no background nor development beyond the fact that he was always supposed to be a mature, gentlemanly, but somewhat uptight individual with fire and shadow magic and the ability to phasewalk. that’s all i had on him.

but again, i tend to hyperfixate so it didn’t become much more than a simple concept like many others, as i focused on the order of the lotus and the twins’ story. but you know. eventually i reached a stalemate and i had a lot of background for shinzou, but not his brother. so that’s how the gonchiye became to be, being based on an ancient supernatural pit-fighting organization of which jou was once part of. i involved lucius in all that, made him be the big bad, etc etc, and then had jou be bought off by the yakuza so that’s how he was raised. i then really wanted a plot for him of infiltration and betrayal, but instead of making a whole new muse for that, i just took one of my old concepts and used that instead. which was ig.

ig’s muse was also spurred by nata’s ( @hellhunted ) desire to ship him with her falcon splice, which then alone led to further development of the gonchiye and their scientific endeavors. anyway point being i made ig, as part of the gonchiye, infiltrate shinjou’s yakuza to get him assassinated, and the whole plague thing got added in a bit later, but it worked out alright. again, one of my older concepts that i had in the twins’ old canon but wanted to reuse because i didn’t want to drop the idea completely. so that’s how i got more involved in ig’s character, and then i finally lost the twins’ muses completely ( much to my dismay, i miss them ) so i focused on ig? it was surprisingly easy to connect to him afterwards and give him some background, frankly i don’t remember how i made him be a hellhound / fury crossbreed ( i do remember it being nata’s idea but i just don’t remember what prompted it ), but i did purposelly lowkey base him off of cerberus to stay true to his origins. maybe it’s a little on-the-nose to have him be the ‘son of cerberus’ but i’m honestly quite proud of my cerberus hc which makes it very flexible to work with. similiarly, to how cerberus had an older brother called orthrus, i had always wanted ig to have a brother, so he always had a vague concept for one, so nox was around for a hot minute but again. it took me a while to actually do anything concrete with him as a character. originally, they were both hellhounds. now ig is a crossbreed and nox is a pureblood fury.

n really then it was just a matter of writing on discord to get him to where he is now --- i wrote him in private for about a year before bringing him on tumblr, but that’s how he came to be. heavily inspired by the cerberus as we know him, and then adapted to my impending apocalypse canon.

#≥ file 009: INTERCEPTED MESSAGES #≥ file 666: REDACTED #( kdgkjk thanks for the ask it made me feel better at least )#( distracting really ty ty )#( consider this tho; you already survived my follower purge which means i rly enjoy u too so )#( u know )#( wink wonk )#long post /#( lmaooo sorry this got so long but )#( lots of history to this boy i guess )#( you can also see how my thought process goes )#( pff )

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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 4 years

Text

The Truths Found On Petram Viridios IV (5/5)

A/N: The last chapter to this fic. It's a long one and I gotta say that I've had a lot of fun with this one. After I post this chapter, I'll be sure to post the masterpost for this fic. And of course it'll be available on ao3 soon enough.

Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

__________

Chapter 5: Adore You

If you had to draw a map to find the way home once you were captivated by the gaze of those trustworthy, soft eyes of his, you would surely run out of ink; pools of blue, unwavering in their affection, drew you in, and you were willing to drown in them. There were facets about them that fascinated you as much as the scales of a butterfly did; they did not shimmer, but they gleamed and sparkled; it's what made you pause and search for a wisp of an acquaintance that very first time you saw him; finding a familiarity that threatened to sweep you away. Why you even found fire in those eyes; it was there in his moments of determination and passion. Oh, how their color shifted with his moods was a type of magic you wanted to spend the rest of your life being mesmerized by. To be sure he wasn't mistaken, he dare not blink; exhibiting the full spectrum of what Billie Eilish described as ocean eyes; he had to be sure. "Y-you do?"

"Yes," you giggled. "I do."

It wouldn't occur to you till later, that he had given you a choice. For instead of the typical proposal question, where it was more asserted, Rick asked in a manner in which there was equal footing; it spoke volumes of the respect he had for you. With shaky hands, he slipped a ring whose stone was as clear and blue as his eyes and cut perfectly like a rose, the band covered in gold vines and silver leaves which weaved together; he made it himself, and if you thought back far enough, you could remember when he was ambiguous about his plans to create a new type of stone. Honestly, you didn't realize it would be for this.

"Gosh," he sniffled. "I-I promised myself that I w-wouldn't cry."

But cry he would; fat, sloppy tears that blinded one's vision. He wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater, and fought to regain composure, but lost to the new wave which followed. You gently pried his hands away from his face, softening at his tear-stained cheeks. "It's okay, you can cry if you want to. I already know how tender you are."

Goodness, how long had he wanted to do this? For while it had almost been two years in which he had last attempted to, it might've been on his mind for much longer than that; eating away at his clarity; at the self-confidence that was torn down and repaired daily. You were grateful and proud that this man wanted you; that he finally gathered the courage to ask and do as he intended and wanted. You….you had wanted this to happen, but did he know that? Your ocean of inquisitions thought otherwise.

However, it was time to quiet and quell his despondent thoughts. Your fingers dug into the collar of his sweater; the tang of nervous sweat and something so him which wafted off him made you yearn to bring him closer. The puffiness about his eyes didn't discourage you from pressing a kiss at the corner of them and from his throat came a choked sob and you were surrounded by the sounds of his disbelief; this cacophony was breaking your heart. There had to be something you could do to ease him. "Ricardo," you started, "considering the suddenness of the occasion, should we, in like fashion…my dear honey man, would you like to get married today?"

This new tidbit caught him off guard; so much so that he stopped crying; good. Now, he was the one who was unsure of whether this was real life or a simulation. He ran his fingers through his hair, double-checked his equipment, sprayed himself with water, and completed equations that had taken this earth dimension's leading mathematicians decades to understand. What you thought was odd was when he caught a pigeon, scanned its anatomy, and found it was sound; you were going to have to ask him about it later. "Rick, did you hear me?"

"Y-yes," he focused, "but what d-do you mean today? How?"

You figured he would have easily come to a conclusion, but then again, what do spacemen have to do with the price of bread?

"I mean that we don't have to wait if you don't want to." You slid your palm over his tattoo, memorizing with your fingertips where his skin was slightly raised. "We can just go down to the justice of the peace if you'd like."

"And y-you would be my wife today?"

"Yes," you giggled. "I think that's how it works."

"But what about a-a…"

"A wedding ceremony?" you interrupted. "Well, we can have one later. We can plan it however you want, and invite all our friends. There can be so much celebration that we'll be knocked out for a week. Until then, I just want to make you happy, and I believe the sooner the better. Okay? So, if we're going to do this, just tell me now and I'll go get the proper paperwork."

It never ceased to amaze you how easily he flitted through emotions as though it were the weather, and with vigor, he lifted you up and vibrated with joy. "Boy, golly gee…this really - this really razzes my b-berries! This is…wow, I-I can't believe it."

You couldn't believe his word choice either. "Oh, you better believe it, because now you're stuck with me and I have you all to myself. However, you're going to have to put me down now because the office closes at five. There are a few things I need to do before then."

Letting you down, he happily waved goodbye despite the fact that it wouldn't take long to get what you needed for this impromptu occasion. Though, when you entered your house, you took a moment to think about your father. There were things you still didn't understand, like why he never told you about his friendship with Rick, or why you two never really discussed what he'd do if you got married; if he had been here, maybe you two would have talked about which flowers would look best as centerpieces; like whether roses or mums were cheerful enough or if this really was a good idea; if such an age gap was surmountable. Yet, in a way you felt as though you were honoring him; for your father and your mother had been unconventional and had gotten married without all the showy displays then road tripped a bit before settling here; you were simply following tradition.

Maybe, you didn't have to know about the why's and what-ifs, but focusing on what you could do seemed a whole lot easier to do. You kicked off your sneakers and dashed upstairs. You knew where your important documents were, but you thought that choosing a cute outfit would take a little longer. You wanted a certain vibe, one that would make things easier on him and then it came to you; why not revisit an old favorite; one that reminded you of his eyes; always, forever blue.

When you returned, you found him pacing around. He was deep in thought, and it took a moment for him to notice that you had returned. Almost comically, his eyes widened as he took in your appearance, and he started to cry again. "That's th-the dress. From that one time."

"It sure is."

With a twirl, you flaunted the blue chiffon dress, and felt like a dream; his visible adoration was not lost on you. It was a relief that this time you hadn't taken an hour to fuss or worry that you weren't dressed for the part, and you weren't wearing shoes which would kill your feet, but instead rocked some converse. "These shoes are made for walking and that's just what I'll do."

Unlike you, Zeta-7 wanted to fuss and choose something dressier, but you somehow managed to convince him that his blue button-up would be fine, and no tie was necessary; hidden ray guns were allowed just in case this happened to be the day that the Gromflomites attacked; not even Earth-based military scanners would be able to detect them. Though, you did allow him to fix up his hair, because one, you thought he was quite handsome with it combed back, and two, it's what he felt he needed to do to look the part. "How do I-I look?"

"Like the man I'm going to marry. Are you ready handsome?"

With a nod, he grabbed the folder with all the documents he needed. "Y-you bet."

______________

At the courthouse, the entire security staff grouped together and teased you about your keys; you should've known that you'd face trouble once you went through the metal detector; you had a lot of keychains; they were from the days when you and your father would go shopping together. Like Rick, he liked yard sales and thrift stores; sometimes he'd get grab bags and there would be vintage keychains, and he'd give them to you knowing you'd like them. You were told by one of the older guards that it wasn't natural for a grown woman to have a set of keys that weighed five pounds. Zeta-7 began to worry, but you told him you could handle it, and you figured the guards were bored and had nothing else to do. What you didn't tell them was that the main reason your keys were heavy was that you were carrying two sets; yours and your father's old keys; Rick knew, but he respected your wishes to leave it be.

Despite this, you two made your way to the right office; it only took fifteen minutes of going to lobby after lobby, free coffee, and endless rugs in all this indoor nothingness. And nobody knew better than Rick when it came to how much you hated paperwork, but nonetheless, you went through the painstaking process of signing this and that, wondering why they didn't make it easier for people by asking yes or no questions; this better not become someone's confetti. Rick breezed through it all, and you were slightly jealous that he knew what he was doing, but it was due to the fact that citadel paperwork was a lot more frustrating and difficult; he had to go through stacks of it weekly; poor man. While he sat quietly, you were in-between forms that had to be signed in triplicate and heard the gossip coming from the people who were working in the back of the office. What they didn't know was that their ignorance made you more determined; you'd fought your own expectations, that of others, as well as what seemed right to do long enough and no one, not even death itself was going to stop you from doing this; it was the best thing you could ever do for yourself and for him as well. You breathed a sigh of relief when you and Rick finally signed the marriage certificate; finally, it was done, and he watched rapturously as you set down the pen so that he could kiss you without refrain.

If you hadn't known better, you'd say the world shied away; dissolving into a plane of nothingness as he enveloped you with a strength that was deceptive for a man of his years; he had become a little more confident; it might've taken a few years, but all you knew was that it suited him. Being nurtured and cared for, as well as loved in the right sort of environment did wonders on Zeta-7; so much so, that he could hold the world in the palm of his hand and still manage not to damage it. It wasn't shocking that some found this outward display sweet, and you almost had hope for humankind, but then there was a laugh or two from the back; you made a mental note to consider moving off Earth. No one was going to ruin this moment for him, and relishing the moment, you chased his mouth for a second kiss; you know, to prove your point.

And if you hadn't already been proud of him, what made you even prouder was what he said on the way out. "Please stop laughing at m-my wife. Th-that's very rude."

His wife? Yes, you were his wife now. It's strange how you could wake up and wonder what you should have for breakfast and be here where you were now; in a whole new chapter of your life; wondering what will come next. Confusing yes, but not something to be afraid of; you welcomed this happy transition.

Back at the car, you were still recovering from his earlier outburst; the like which was almost out of character. "Did you see the look on her face? I thought it was going to fall off with how far her jaw dropped. Wasn't it a sight?"

Though, he was busy staring at the ring on his own hand which you had picked out when you two made a stop at a consignment shop earlier. It wasn't that complex like yours, but he loved it. "All I could see was - was you."

"You flirt."

You gave his shoulder a playful shove, and in turn, he laughed a full-on belly laugh; this happy noise was music to your ears. "Gosh, I-I mean it. Y-you, look so pretty today." A bit shyly, he commented. "Blue looks very good on you."

"Thank you. So, how should we celebrate? A trip to the moon perhaps? Going across the universe? Maybe a kaiju fight with Matango? Or watching Spiderman 2? Honestly, I'm game for anything."

You had decent shoes on and didn't care what he wanted to do because you were happy if he was happy. And as though it were just another afternoon, he glowed with happiness when he asked. "Mrs. Sanchez, do you - do you want to go get some ice cream?"

Some things will never change and you didn't mind that. "I'd love to. As the author, L.M. Montgomery once said, 'I guess ice cream is one of those things that are beyond imagination.' And, you know, it's so true. I intend to go all out with the toppings today. It's certainly that kind of occasion."

______

He couldn't seem to want to let go of your hand; as though the world would fall away if he didn't and that this would turn out to be a cruel dream. Still, you humored and spoiled him. As intended, you got all the toppings; Rick thought it was a kids dream come true with the amount of candy you had in your waffle bowl. And since you had enough to share, you took the liberty to feed him. He chatted on; offering charming stories from his band days; unlike other Ricks who were in a rock band called Flesh Curtains, his band had been a jazz and bossa nova trio; the band name had been comprised of a numerical equation; if you had named them you would've called them the Zeta Bytes.

Now, Rick wasn't a messy eater, but during one of his more excitable stories, he spilled a bit on the corner of his mouth. Ready with a napkin, you wiped it away, and couldn't help but laugh at how boyish it was. Giving your hand a squeeze, he absentmindedly brushed his thumb on the back of your hand; adoration coloring his voice. “You're t-t-too good to me.”

"There's no such thing. If anything, I gotta spoil you rotten."

You found no hindrance in his mood and this time he didn't think twice about kissing you then and there as he liked while you were still holding the napkin; fear and shame of public displays of affection being one less thing to worry about now. Who cared if your ice cream was melting, because your heart was melting; his mouth tasted of chocolate and promises. A soft chuckle escaped him as he pulled away; his promise whispered against your lips. "I-I promise I'll be good t-t-to you."

Being loved suited him; it really, really did wonders on his countenance and it made you wonder what else he could now do.

_________

By now you were a little tired, but Ricks contagious energy invigorated your spirits; you bet he could've come up with an invention and completed it today if he stayed this hyped up. Instead, he used that energy to make fresh rolls to go with the leftover acorn squash soup; you hadn't been that hungry, but you enjoyed it nonetheless. And when dinner had been eaten, you helped him with the dishes; nothing you hadn't done before, but his spirit was lighter and more at ease; he even bumped your hip with his as a gesture of playfulness. After cleaning up the kitchen, he decided that he'd like to take a shower and refresh himself and in the meantime, you stepped out into the backyard to enjoy the beauty of the night. In this part of town, despite the light pollution, you could see a fair amount of stars.

You had never studied astronomy, but Rick had shown you in diagrams and in textbooks of their names and explained how they were formed; to him, their complexity was like poetry, and it made them beautiful. You couldn't recite it by memory, but you had a feeling that beyond your current comprehension perhaps there was life amongst those heavenly bodies, despite the heat or deadly gases; if you had learned anything about space, it was that worlds were more along the lines of art and beauty than fields of science which were easily explained. Yet, in the air, where there was a sweet perfume, thick, but intoxicating, only where you were currently mattered; you saw that in the leftmost part of the yard there was jasmine which was currently in bloom; its blanket of flowers reminding you of snow. Hadn't you read of this somewhere before? Maybe.

In the grass near your feet, grasshoppers leaped away, and crickets chirped their songs. And you relished the strong breezes and the song of the night which may consume a melancholic heart if it were searching for tragedies instead of sweet dreams. And it had only been a few hours ago when you had thought that all of which transpired might've been a dream. Though, whatever truths that had come to light in the hours after the simulation, you were glad of them.

In the dark, sights and sounds were heightened and mesmerizing, albeit curious in its own right; if it hadn't been for the sound barrier Rick had on his property, you would've heard the obnoxious sound of the next-door neighbor's TV as they watched infomercials. Still, it was a beautiful night. Sitting on the bench which overlooked the whole yard, you thought of what wonderful things you'd like to share with Rick, and then he found you. For his part, he had changed into something more relaxed; into a light blue button-down that was similar to the one he was wearing earlier, but this one was softer, and it was paired with navy pants; it reminded you of blue pants Rick with his attire, but it was cute and suited him. With him, he had brought over a tray of goodies and you two ate cookies and cakes and drank earl grey under the moonlit night.

The pause in conversation gave allowances for observations. For example, you took a good long look at him as he sipped his tea; admiring how casual he appeared tonight. Without his labcoat or sweater, his identity seemed separate from that of his dimension jumping, scientist self; making way for the person deep inside; the friendly neighbor who won your heart without even trying. He noticed eventually that you had been staring at him, and he broke the silence with his inquiry. "What are y-you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking about you cutie. You um….you look really good in those blue pants of yours. Thinking of taking up modeling anytime soon?"

"N-no," he answered with an air of obliviousness that you found endearing. "not unless my next work assignment requires it. Gee, why do you ask?"

"Hmm, it's because you wear your clothes well. I always thought you did, but I don't believe I ever mentioned it."

He ruminated on what you said for a few minutes, before setting down his cup. "Did you - did you always find me attractive?"

"No," you confessed. "but you're the only person I've ever really been attracted to. I…..I always liked the fact that our relationship was built on something more substantial. You see, the more I got to know you, the more irresistible I found you. Though," you winked. "those teeth of yours were always too cute to resist."

This truth of yours made him comfortable enough to relinquish one of his own. "C-can I tell you a secret?"

"It's not much of a secret if you tell me dear, but you can tell me anyway."

Wringing his hands together, he confessed solemnly. "That day y-you tripped on the sidewalk nearby my house, I-I almost decided not to cross the road."

Not cross the road? Hmm, it had been an option. In your mind's eye, you could imagine it; the tall, lanky figure of a man debating against his better judgment on what he ought to do; so close but so far; knowing that he was altering the course of his future and putting yours at risk. Poor man, having to wallow over a moral dilemma like that. "Why is that?"

"Gosh, y-you….I didn't want to take advantage of the situation."

It could've been taken that way, but you never thought so. "So what changed your mind?"

"I thought you were going to cry, and I-I didn't… I didn't want you to suffer anymore. I thought t-to myself, that if I got t-t-to know you, then you wouldn't have to be lonely anymore."

When he said this, you nearly couldn't look at him; not because he knew more than he let on, but because who knows what paths you two would've taken if he hadn't shown up that day. Tears bit at the back of your eyes, and your nails bit into your palms. "Dear, love isn't always a cure for heartache," He tensed up at this, but you knew you had to tell him. You weren't upset because you had guessed as much, but being assured of it cemented the fact. "but I'm sure that without you, without your friendship, I might not be here right now. I think I was depressed, and from time to time I still feel that way. I…I have thought of ways to make my troubles end, ways you might not have been proud of, but you've shown me a better way to live. I think…no, I know that by expanding my horizons, I understand now that there's so much to look forward to, and not to take life for granted. Why," you paused, fighting the tears which threatened to fall. "you reminded me that I gotta make the most of this crazy, unpredictable life, and I'm happy that I'll get to do that with you."

He understood and accepted this answer and gave you a look of adoration and pride; the like that you hoped you'd always remember. And when you two were done with tea, you both took a walk about the garden. The sweet perfume of jasmine intermingled with that of the scent of his soap, and combined with the candor of his speech made this place feel like a well of comfort. He followed behind you as you two spoke, and you were conscious of the fact that with his freshly washed hair brushed back, it made him more appealing. His hands were in want of yours as he matched your pace, and you felt slightly mischievous as you'd skip or teased him to catch you; it wasn't long until he gathered you in his arms and laughed, and you asked without much seriousness for him to let you go, but while he loosened his grip, he didn't let go entirely. "Gosh, y-you make me feel so young. It - it feels so good to have you in my arms."

"Oh, really?" you giggled. "That's great to hear."

Pressing a kiss to your temple, he sighed. "It's unfortunate that I'm so old."

"That's okay. I like you as you are. It goes well with your personality."

"Thank you mi corazón. It feels good to hear that. However, can I-I ask you something?"

"Mhm."

"¿Si hubiera s-sido más joven, habría marcado la diferencia?"

"If you had been younger? I don't know. Possibly," you admitted. "I might've been less reluctant about my feelings at the beginning, but I truly don't know. I'd like to think that I'd still would've fallen for you anyway. You're a wonderful man Ricardo, you don't have to doubt that, anyone can see that. It doesn't matter how old you are, but it's who you are."

"Y-you're right." With reluctance, he allowed his arms to drop to his sides, and he wondered. "It um - it's getting late. Should I-I walk you home?"

Was he forgetting that he didn't have to? Maybe not. Perhaps he needed a sign; one that said that any suggestion of further intimacy was alright. "I thought I was home." you answered, "Don't you want me to stay?"

Scratching the back of his neck, he nodded. "Yes, I-I-I-I do."

"Then it's settled. We'll have a big sleepover," you brightened. "and it'll never have to end. I'll borrow a pair of your pj's and hog all the blankets because I'll get cold."

"And in - in the morning," he added warmly, "w-we can have pancakes."

"Yeah, and watch enough interdimensional cable to make us go blind."

"But I-I might have to work tomorrow."

"Oh. Well, then I guess I'll just have to eat all your snacks until you come back. We might have to take a trip to Costco at some point because they sell these mushroom crisps that are to die for."

Standing under the persimmon tree, he stepped forward and gave your shoulder a squeeze. "Y-you can have whatever you want," With a strong arm slipping around your waist, you felt almost shy at the way he smiled protectingly down at you. His warm breath ghosted about your ear, and his voice was above a whisper as he confessed. “because I-I-I finally got you princess and I'm not - I'm not going t-to let you go.”

At the sound of this pet name, you felt a slight warmth rush to your cheeks, but you didn't laugh it off as you had once but agreed with warmth. “You may do as you please, Mr. Sanchez.”

And so he did. Without hesitation, he lifted your chin and brushed your lips with his thumb. His eyes sparkling with humor, promise, and a confidence that was somehow so very appropriate on his face. "I love you. I-I-I always have. From the time I first held your hand, I knew it had to be you. I would've been a fool if I - if I hadn't tried. Even now, it's hard to believe, but it's starting to sink in."

"Me too. It's unbelievable, but it's true and we have the paperwork to prove it."

Leaning down, he pressed a sweet kiss onto your lips. It was so gentle, it was as though you might break if he tried otherwise. Kissing you again, he sighed against your lips. "It's beautiful out t-tonight."

"It is."

Pressing a hand to his cheek, you softened. "But I think I'm ready to call it a night. Why don't we go in?"

Weaving his fingers with yours, he softened. "Okay."

You used to think to yourself and wonder if his house would ever be ready to receive you, but what you now realized was that it had always been ready, and only you had been waiting for it all to catch up; for him to know what he wanted and to be courageous and say; for you to know what you needed, and to accept that being yourself didn't make you any less attractive or unique and that you weren't alone; you had never been alone, for he had always been waiting. His home, why it was always home, but it was always home because he was what grounded you and you were what grounded him. And you felt so married to him then, and everything felt as it should. Nothing had really changed, except for a title, and a promise; for you two were friends as you had always been; him the happy go lucky old man, and you the silly neighbor who met him by accident, but you couldn't deny that you loved him with your entire being and so did he. As promised, he intended to do everything in his power to protect you, even as you two were getting ready for bed. His body seemed to curl around you as to shield you from whatever monsters could be hiding in the dark.

So, when it happened that you rested your head upon his chest and felt the temptation of sleep washing over you, you pressed a light kiss to his cheek and confessed softly. "I can't wait to wake up next to you."

Fin

#doofus rick #doofus rick x reader #rick sanchez x reader #J19ζ7 #j19z7 #rick j19z7 #Rick and morty #Rnm #rnm fanfic #rnm fanfiction #rick and morty fanfiction #rick and morty fanfic #multi chapter #marriage #my fanfiction #my works #my writing #fanfiction #my fanfic

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otpnessmess · 4 years

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By this sword

Ao3 - Masterlist

Quick thing I made for @mochegato as a way to get rid of writer's block for my jasonette fic. Everyone here is like 17-18 because I obviously don't know what a canon is and will do whatever I please. Based on this post and not beta-d at all. If there are any mistakes I apologize, I wrote and posted this from my phone and the tumblr app is a bitch about formatting. Enjoy!

If Marinette heard Damian and Adrien snicker behind her back once again she would make sure to put salt instead of sugar on their cookies the next day.

The Wayne family had been visiting Paris for a business deal and the two youngest sons had been adamant on having spare time to see the superhero duo of the city.

The year before, the miraculous users had requested help from the Justice League to bring down Hawkmoth, and the Gotham vigilantes were the ones sent to help. Having to work as a team brought the four teenagers together, and they had become very good friends by the time the job was done. Now they kept in contact over calls and video chats and were very good friends… Mostly.

Marinette didn't know why, but Tim didn't seem to like her very much. They had been close while working as heroes but once they started hanging out outside of the masks, his entire demeanor changed.

Due to her usual tardiness, Damian and Adrien had got used to Tim being really talkative with them while they waited. He was always perfectly normal until Marinette finally arrived. He then clammed up for seemingly no reason and, even though he still joined the conversation and laughed along with them, there was tension lodged on his shoulders.

This played out for several outings until Adrien had enough. Even if Mari pretended not to notice it, he knew Tim's behavior was hurting and confusing her, and no matter what she did to try and make amends with him, it seemed like it was never enough. She didn't know what she had done to warrant such a dismissive attitude from the guy who was fighting alongside them just some weeks prior.

His protective instincts kicked in even more when she confessed to him that she had started liking Tim, but was being discouraged by his attitude towards her.

The blonde boy managed to convince Damian to talk to his brother, as he was much more likely to coax something out of him. And it proved to be the right choice.

The youngest Wayne called Adrien in the middle of a laughing fit and it took five minutes to get the information out of him. Tim admitted to being like that because he liked Marinette too, he was just unbelievably shy and accidentally got the wrong message across. Damian couldn't believe his brother could be the greatest detective in the world and the dumbest person in the planet at the same time.

After taking the time to make fun of the black-haired pair, they finally agreed that they had to do something to get those two together because, evidently, they would never be able to do it on their own.

The dynamic duo did try their hardest to help them notice each other's feelings, but they failed so many times they almost called off the mission. The only motivation they had to keep going was the fact that the older Wayne didn't entirely shut off around Mari anymore. They had seen him engage in great conversations with her when she had managed to coax him out of his shell for a bit.

Those moments were short-lived, as Tim took a couple minutes to remember who he was talking to, but worth it in the matchmakers' opinion, so they didn't give up. Which brought them to their latest scheme.

Marinette frowning at them with a rapier in hand was a fairly scary sight, but their plan was foolproof. And even if they didn't manage to get the lovebirds together, at least they would get to laugh for a while.

The idea was simple. Step one: invite the brothers to join their fencing class while they're in Paris and make Marinette lose a bet. Step two: get her to face Tim in a duel and say some carefully chosen words to him as a punishment. Step three: profit.

Damian and Adrien wanted to pat themselves in the back for thinking of this, it was a win-win situation. For them, obviously.

Mari didn't see how this would make Tim want to talk to her more but a bet was a bet, and she was no sore loser. She spotted him standing on one of the mats, watching some of her classmates practicing, and took a deep breath before approaching him.

"Congratulations Tim!"

The boy turned around with a startled expression and accidentally bit his cheek when he saw who it was. "H-huh?"

"We're engaged!"

The bright smile in Marinette's face paired with her words made him pale slightly and almost drop his rapier. "Excuse me- what? I… I-"

"In combat. En garde!" Just like the snickering duo had instructed her she drew her sword from her belt and pointed it at Tim.

She then witnessed the color coming back to his cheeks… And not stopping there. He now resembled a very ripe tomato as he mirrored her stance.

"O-oh, right… That kind of engaged… "

He wasn't expecting her to hear his mumble nor pick up the disappointed undertones in his voice, but it seemed like she had.

Her arm lowered slightly when he said that, and a blush had started to creep up her cheeks as well.

"Uh… Yeah. That kind of engaged. W-why? Did you… Want…?"

What?! Why did she ask that??

In the back you could hear the scheming duo laughing their asses off at their awkward display, which only made them get even more red in the face.

In the meantime, Tim had finally processed her question and immediately panicked. "W-what!? N-no! No way!"

His nervous scoffs weren't very convincing but Mari didn't seem to question them, much likely in an attempt to make the situation fly by as quickly as possible.

Tim seemed to be nervous about what he had said, though, and was looking at her with fear in his eyes. Marinette wished to be able to make it go away so badly, and reassuring him was probably the best way to do it, right?

"Oh good, yeah… Um… Me neither, heh."

She gave a nervous laugh and stole a glance at her friend in front of her, expecting him to appear relieved. Instead, he was barely suppressing a tiny grimace, which made her incredibly confused.

Before she could ponder what she had done wrong, however, Adrien had run out of patience in the back.

"Just kiss already!!"

Oh God, Marinette was going to kill him for sure this time. Why would he even say that? He had just outed her crush in front of the guy she liked!

She gathered every last ounce of strength she had in her before turning to meet eyes with Tim. If she was expecting rejection or disgust in his face, the longing in his eyes caught her off guard.

They crossed gazes for a second, then two, then three.

Searching, questioning.

Then they finally found it.

Understanding transformed their expressions, leaving them to gape at each other.

Oh.

Damien and Adrien were hollering and whistling in the background trying to get their attention, but right now they only had eyes for each other.

Two months later, Adrien would take the credit for being the one that got them together by screaming at them. It would earn him a smack on the head from Damien, who was not about to allow him to simply disregard his interventions and discredit him. On the seats in front of them, Tim and Marinette would chuckle and share a kiss, both laughing at their idiotic friends.

I promise to stop procrastinating and to start working on the next chapter of my fic soon, but I just thought this was such a great prompt! Hope you liked it <3 - Lis

#timari #marinette dupain cheng #maribat #liswrites #tim x marinette #miraculous ladybug #ml x dc

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werejusttouchingeachother · 4 years

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SEOUL 2018 [August 10th, 4:27PM]

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 T/W: angst - mentions of abuse, depression, suicide, cursing Words: 4171

It was almost two months later when you finally met Baekhyun again after the night he left New York. He’d been at the dorms and you’d felt more terrified than you had been when you first launched your boutique.

Manager had ushered you inside quickly, immediately making you feel awkward as your eyes met Junmyeon and Sehun who were sitting on the couch and watching something on the television.

“Y/N,” Junmyeon called your name in surprise as he quickly stood up, wide eyes exchanging glances with Manager behind you. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I don’t think anyone did, Hyung,” Sehun mutters, giving you a small smile. “Hi, Noona. It’s been a long time. I missed you.”

You smile fondly at that, tense shoulders loosening at his contagious warmth. “I missed you too, Sehun.”

“I’m mad at you, though.” He crossed his arms. “You never called. Or responded to my texts.”

You flinched, expecting this accusation from the youngest member who’d always had the most fun teasing you and who you knew would take your silent treatment the hardest—not when you’d spent days and nights sending each other funny memes and pictures of dogs with bad haircuts almost on a daily basis only to suddenly ghost him.

“Yeah, I just…” you trail off and shake your head, knowing excuses were in vain. “I’m sorry. I should have replied.”

Sehun blinks at your sincere apology, not having expected it and his face clouds over with worry at your seriousness.

“Sehun,” Jun says, nudging him. “You can catch up with her later.” He gives you a meaningful look as he asks, “Y/N, aren’t you here to—?”

“Yeah, I’ll go check,” Manager says, turning to your left in the direction of the rooms. You grab his arm to stop him.

“Does he…?” You trail off and Manager hesitates before nodding.

“I told him that you landed here today morning.” He pauses before saying, “I think he’s expecting you.”

You waited in the hallway then as all the members slowly filed out of their rooms, giving you polite formal smiles (Jongin, Yixing and Jongdae), wary looks (Minseok and Kyungsoo) or blatantly ignored your presence (Chanyeol).

You didn’t say anything. If any of them knew what had exactly happened, you were sure that it had to be Chanyeol.

All of them joined Junmyeon and Sehun in the hall, the farthest room from Baekhyun’s to give you as much privacy as they could within a dormitory. Bowing your head in thanks, you walk past Manager and head for the right door at the end of the hallway.

Taking a deep breath, you raise your hand and knock gently on the door. You can hear the silence of the usually noisy dorm and it doesn’t help the way your heart is pounding against your rib-cage, your stomach twisting with anxiety.

The door opens then and your breath catches as your eyes fall on Baekhyun.

His hair is dishevelled and his clothes are drabby, hanging off him in a way that you knew all too-well that he had been wearing them for a while. His cheeks are hollow and your eyes run over his clothes, growing frustrated when you realise they’re too large to figure out whether he’d lost weight.

“You haven’t been eating,” Baekhyun says, his tone flat and your eyes fly back up to his face in surprise. You feel your skin rise with goosebumps at hearing his voice after so long and your eyes sting with unshed tears that you have to forcibly blink back.

“I…” You clear your throat before raising an eyebrow at him. “Neither have you. Your face has grown thinner.”

“What is this, a competition?” He rolls his eyes, stepping away to let you in.

“If it is, nobody is winning!” You hear Sehun shout from the hall, making you roll your eyes.

“Sehun, shut up!” Baekhyun yells as he closes the door behind him. You bite your lip as you look around the familiar room that was almost a home to you at one point—a point that seemed entirely too long ago now.

“Did you wear lipstick? Or did you chew it all off?” Baekhyun asks, pointing out your usual nervous habit and your gaze shifts back to him as he sits in his gaming chair, opposite the bed that looked unusually tidy.

He hasn’t been sleeping.

“Did you sleep at all this past week?” You shoot back, crossing your arms as you sit down on the bed and cock your head at the neatly made sheets. “Or leave that seat? How long have you been gaming in those clothes?”

“Why do you care?” Baekhyun snaps and you sigh, leaning back as you square your shoulders and remind yourself not to follow his childish antics.

“I didn’t come here to fight, Baek,” you start, trying to gather your thoughts. “I—”

“Y/N.” His voice is sharp enough that you stop, eyebrows rising as he inhales deeply before saying, “If you’re here to break up, just leave. I haven’t processed a lot since New York but I’m not numb enough that I can sit here and listen to you end everything. Being here in Korea must be killing you anyway so just leave and I’ll consider it the end. Let’s not make this any harder than it—”

“Shut the fuck up, Baekhyun,” you snap, eyes narrowed in disbelief as you gape at him. “Is that what you want to do? New York to be our last conversation? Just leave a two-years-long relationship like this?” You shake your head, holding up your hand to stop whatever he was going to say as you interrupted, “I’ll leave soon, don’t worry. As soon as I’m done telling you what I have to tell you.”

He falls silent, eyes watching you carefully and you take a breath before starting. “I told you something that night two months ago. Before you said that I shouldn’t be feeling that way. Something about my childhood. Do you remember?”

Baekhyun nods slowly. “You said that you’ve never been enough for your parents from when you were young. And I made you feel like that again, yeah, that’s burned into my memory, don’t worry.”

You shake your head, shooting him a look. “That first part, yes. The second part, no. This is what I flew out here to tell you, face-to-face. What I should have told you that night.”

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip as you take a second to muster the courage to say what you’re going to say. Baekhyun immediately notices your hesitation, his eyes clouding with worry at the obvious storm raging inside your mind right now.

It almost makes you smile—the fact that he could still read you like an open book. Despite all the pain, all the misunderstanding, all the conflicting emotions that were stirred up amongst both of you, he still worried about you, your thoughts, your nervous habits and your weight.

“My parents came from well-reputed families,” you started, leaning back against the wall. “It was an arranged marriage, a union that was more of a business deal than that of love. They weren’t chaebols or anything but they were well-off and had a long uninterrupted line of sons on my father’s side that always took over the business and carried it forward.”

Baekhyun’s face falls at this, already knowing where this was headed as you continued, “They wanted a boy. When I was born, it was more of a shock than anything. They tried a lot for a second child but my mother had some health issues and there were complications. So they were stuck with me and I was… never enough. I did everything they wanted me to do, always obeying their insane rules and never had any fun the way other kids did. I used to draw a lot from when I was a kid and they would rip my drawings apart, throw my colours away. I’d get into trouble if I didn’t do the homework or scored anything less than hundred on tests. I used to cry at school and my teacher told me that they do it because they love me, because they care. That most parents are strict so the kids will grow to be really smart.”

“So I studied hard. Began to buy separate notebooks to draw in and hide them where they wouldn’t find them. I lived by the rules they made, all through middle school and high school—it was always hell, I was always wishing to get away. I never even dared to like someone as a teenager because I feared what would happen at home if they found out. I didn’t have any friends because they discouraged it, said it was a distraction. They’d decided on the day of my birth that since I couldn’t take over the business, I’d follow the highest position for a woman—medicine. Their words, not mine. So then, I joined medical school and when I had to draw more bodies and organs than the clothes that went on it, I snapped. I had a phase where I stopped attending classes, where I failed all the exams and almost got suspended. It was a highly prestigious school so they called in my parents and they paid heftily to keep me at school, promising that I’d make up for it.”

You pause then, lowering your head and taking a breath since the next thing was particularly difficult to voice out loud.

“That was the second time my father hit me,” you say in a hoarse voice, clearing your throat before continuing, “The first time was in elementary when they found my doodles for the first time on my books. The teacher had sent a note to them, suggesting to join an art class because I drew more than I wrote notes and they beat me till I was black and blue. They told me that art was for idiots, that things like drawing, writing, acting and singing would never get me anywhere in life. After that was when I started my preparation for medical school. After I failed that too, I thought they would understand then or at least try. But they beat me again. And I thought I’d kill myself so, I ran away from home.”

You glance at him, smiling slightly. “That time we were at Tokyo, you were so surprised when I didn’t want to take pictures together under the cherry blossom trees. It’s not because I was cold that night—it’s because cherry blossoms always reminds me of that night I ran out in Korea. They were all I could see when I looked up and they were so pretty that it felt like they were mocking me. That was the first time I wished I could look up at the sky and see the Eiffel Tower, wish that I could be at Paris where I could draw freely and just live for myself.”

“And that’s when I realised that I was going to kill myself when I hadn’t ever lived. Not once, not even for a day, had I lived for myself. It was always for my parents and they never even appreciated my efforts or tried to understand me.”

You look up then, smiling although you couldn’t see him because your eyes were tearing up. “The only time that I lived was when I designed. I had nothing to lose. There was no one to please so I thought I’d fully meet the criteria of such a worthless disappointing child. I started dreaming about Paris and my boutique—I started dreaming of skies where I could look up and see the Eiffel.”

Baekhyun’s expression is unreadable but you continue, “You know the rest from here. I lied about going for classes and instead worked many part-time jobs. I saved up just enough money for one of the cheapest flights to Paris but it wasn’t enough, of course not. I got kicked out of school and I didn’t wait to get kicked out of home too—I used all the money I’d saved to move out instead and started working at Korea. Three years later, about the time all my friends were graduating from college, I finally had enough to go to Paris. For seven months, I struggled and starved and almost died because of how poor I was before my designs finally caught the eye of someone who saw my potential. I became his apprentice.”

You take a deep breath and grabbed the pillow from his bed, hugging it in your lap because your hands were shaking.

“I have a lot of issues with my parents, Baekhyun,” you state aloud, looking at him. “My childhood was traumatic for me and there’s a lot that I’ve been suppressing from when I was a kid. I’m insecure when people show me affection because I’m not used to receiving it, I have anxieties about whether they will leave so I think I should leave first because I always tend to think I don’t deserve whatever love I get. Seoyeon is a clear example of that as my only friend—the only one I’ve trusted enough to get close to me.”

“I moved out of the apartment after you left.” His eyebrows rise at this and you explain, “It felt lonelier when you were gone. It was too big and memories kept haunting me, I was always going crazy with my own thoughts so I decided to move into a smaller place.”

You paused then, inhaling softly as you felt your shoulders lighten like you’d just lifted a burden, one that had been weighing down on you for almost all your life. Feeling your heart race slightly because of the next thing you were going to say, you mentally prepared yourself for all the negative possibilities before continuing.

“I’m going for therapy,” you declare, watching his eyes widen in surprise at this. “Seoyeon told me that if I never deal with my past, it’s always going to affect any relationship that I have. I started almost as soon as you left and all these things I told you, Baekhyun, they’re-they’re just the surface of it. You know that I hate coming back to Korea even though you didn’t know exactly why. Same with the cherry blossom trees. There’s a lot more that I can’t tell you, a lot that I can only tell my therapist because it’s difficult for me to admit it openly, even to myself. But at the same time, these are the things I should have talked to you about, like you told me that night at New York. I let my insecurities get to my head and projected it onto you which was unfair.”

You place the pillow back and stand up then, looking down at him.

“I understand and accept everything you said that night,” you state, Baekhyun gazing up at you unblinkingly. "We don’t have to go public. We never do. I don’t care about that and I don’t think I ever did. The party that night, the way everyone was so welcoming… it made me question if I was even worth standing around such people. If I was worthy of your love and care.”

“And that is not your fault, Baekhyun,” you clearly enunciate, knowing he was going to interrupt with the opposite statement. “Those are just my fears stemming from my shitty childhood. Apparently my first instinct when shown love is to fight and then flee. But I know now that it’s not a matter of worth—you’ve only loved and cared for me, unconditionally, even when I’ve been closed off and so difficult.”

“I…” You trail off, heavy emotion weighing down on your chest suddenly and making you choke on your words as you hoarsely say, “I’ve only known darkness, Baekhyun, so when you shone down on me with all your light, I got blinded. I was an idiot and I fucked up something that was beautiful and the best thing that ever happened to me. But I can see clearer now for the first time in my life and I know better. And I know that I love you. So much that I am even willing to be mysterious Mrs. Byun X forever. No one has to know about us or me and I couldn’t care less.”

You take a breath then, meeting his gaze. “I’m opening the door again, Baek. And I’m giving you the same option I did last time except now, I can promise you that I do not care about being hidden and I also promise to try and fight my demons from wrecking what we have. If we have it again.”

Baekhyun blinks at you, pouty lips parted open as he gapes at you like a fish and you nod, stepping to the door slowly.

“You don’t have to answer right now,” you reassure him, forcing yourself to smile even though you were beyond terrified. “I know it’s a lot to take at once. Manager has the address of my hotel and I’m staying for a week. Or you can just text me, if you don’t want to see me. He has my number too.”

Baekhyun doesn’t say a word and you feel your heart crack slightly in your chest as you nod, biting down on your lip and turn to the door.

Swallowing heavily, you mutter, “Goodbye, Bae—”

You’re spun around by a death grip on your arm then, eyes widening as you look up at Baekhyun standing right in front of you.

“No,” he said, shaking his head as he dragged you back to the bed. He placed his hands on your shoulders and pushed you down forcibly, ordering, “Sit.”

“How can you leave like that?” Baekhyun asked, disbelief colouring his tone. “I didn’t even speak yet.”

You blink at his glare, stammering, “I mean-I just-I didn’t want you to feel pressured—”

“Y/N, it’s been two fucking months,” he snorts, shooting you a look. He retrieves his hands from your shoulders and lowers himself to the floor at your feet.

“You know that you can just sit beside me?” You ask, glaring down at him as a sudden memory flashes vividly in your mind. “Or back on that seat across from me?”

He shrugs as he sits cross-legged, looking up at you. The room’s light was right behind you and it shone down right on his face that made it look like he had stars in his eyes and you wondered if it was bright enough to hurt him.

“I want to look at you,” he says quietly.

“You’re sitting the same way you did that night,” you remind him softly, biting down on your lip.

His eyebrows furrow in confusion before he realises, eyes softening as he takes your hand from your lap slowly.

“I’m not leaving this time,” Baekhyun assured you gently, giving you a small smile as he played with your fingers. He raises his other hand to your face and tugged your lower lip loose from your teeth, shaking his head at you and giving you a warning look, the way he always used to whenever you kept gnawing at your lips.

He sits back and gives you a cheeky smile then. “Technically, I can’t. You came here to the dorms so I don’t really have anywhere to go from here—”

“I missed you,” you blurted, unable to stop yourself. His smile freezes at your words and you blink back the tears gathering furiously as you corrected in a softer tone, “I miss you.”

“Me too,” he murmurs, intertwining your fingers together. He grips your hand tightly and seems to struggle as he forces the next words out, “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you. Therapy and dealing with everything from your past can’t have been easy. I should have been there, I shouldn’t have left—”

“Baek, no,” you grab his hand holding yours with your other hand, shaking your head vehemently at him. “It’s good that you did. I needed to get my shit together—about me, about us. I needed to do it, it was time.”

He looks into your eyes, voice meek as he asks, “Are you okay?”

You start to nod and he tightens his grip on your hand again as he repeats, “No, Y/N. Really… are you okay?”

You pause, swallowing slightly as you look down at both your hands. “It’s… a lot. There’s a lot that I’m remembering and reliving that I don’t want to. But that’s how I can make peace with it, how I can stop—” You take a shaky breath, choking as you finish, “—stop hurting myself. And stop myself from hurting you.”

“Oh, god, Y/N.” Baekhyun lets go of your hands then, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You still at the sudden unexpected embrace and he pulls you down from the bed onto his lap, hugging you tightly to him.

Your entire body seems frozen as you find yourself on the floor with him, his arms clutching you tightly to him.

“Baek,” you whisper, practically trembling in his arms when you feel his warmth singe into your skin. He is as warm as you remember him and when his scent, your instant comforter, flooded your nose after missing it for what felt like forever—you’re almost ready to cry.

He pulls away to look at you, shaking his head as he whispers, “Please don’t cry, baby, it kills me.”

His hands cup your face and you close your eyes, leaning into his touch as you sigh softly. You open your eyes and almost melt when you see the way he’s staring at you.

It reminded you of Paris—the way he looked at you every night when he said ‘goodbye’ at the door of your hotel room, a gaze that lingered and that you were reluctant to break away from.

Despite saying it already, you repeat, “I miss—”

Baekhyun closes the gap between your mouths, his plush lips pressing against yours tenderly as he held your face in his hands. You closed your eyes, responding instantly while your hands fist into the front of his shirt, clutching him tightly as if you were afraid he’d slip away.

He kisses you back just as fervently, holding you gently as if he didn’t want to break you. The kiss tastes as sweet as the first, your heart thudding against your chest and butterflies erupting in your stomach as if it was your first time.

You pull away to breathe with your eyes still closed and he presses his forehead against yours, feeling your breaths intermingle. Your eyelids flutter open and his thumb wipes a stray tear that had streaked down your cheek.

“I missed you too,” he breathes, pressing another kiss to your mouth. He lingers before pulling away, lowering his hands from your face as his eyes meet yours with determination before muttering, “Fuck it.”

You blink. “What?”

“Fuck it. I love you. We’ll make it through this, through everything—my job, your past, everything. We walked into this thinking our biggest problem would be the distance and we’ve overcome that. It’s… it’s fine. I can’t lose you again, Y/N. These two months have been hell, I’ve just been going crazy in here.” Baekhyun takes in a shaky breath, grabbing your hands from his chest and staring at your joined fingers. “Hyungnim told me that you needed some space and I thought it was over so I broke down but then he told me to wait, that you just needed some time. I thought you’d made your decision and the reason you weren’t reaching out was because you didn’t want to… be with me anymore.”

You shake your head and lean forward, kissing him. “That’s not… you know I can’t leave you, Baekhyun.”

“Then don’t.”

You smile, nodding slightly. “I won’t.” You hesitate, biting your lower lip as you ask timidly, “Does this mean that you’re walking in through the open door again?”

He smiles then, cheeks puffing and eyes shining as he replies, “Well, you know what they say. Love is an open door.”

“Literally betrayed her and left her to die but okay, Hans,” you tease and he rolls his eyes.

“Fine.” He grins, releasing your hands and wrapping his arms around your middle, pulling you into his chest. “Then… oh, right. Paris. Love is your open arms.”

You roll your eyes teasingly, snorting, “Always so cheesy.”

“Shut up, you love it.” Baekhyun drops a kiss on the top of your head and you close your eyes, smiling at how much you’d missed the gesture—genuinely smiling with your heart feeling full for the first time in months. Your veins that had gone numb after so much time apart finally felt alive, filling with the ethereal golden rays as he basked you in his contagious warmth.

Your sunshine.

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wild-springflower · 4 years

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Old Enough to Know I'll End Up Dying (It's Torture to Love You)

Hoooo boy has it been a while. I actually honestly forgot that I posted this on here... the best place to get reliable for any of my works would be on my AO3, for which I shall provide a link!

But sorry this took so long, here is chapter 3!

Pt 1

He wanted to be angry, he really really wanted to be angry. But there would be a time and a place for anger, the hospital room with Christopher sat atop his lap and gripping his shirt like a lifeline was neither of them.

It had been almost five days, and Buck had scarcely left the hospital room. The others tried to get him to leave, but aside from watching Christopher, Buck had nothing else to do with his time. And he refused to leave Eddie alone. The others still had their job to do, Buck had no obligations, nowhere to be. Except by the side of a hospital bed.

Occasionally Eddie would show signs of stirring, but so far it had all been false hope, little mumbled words, shifting under the bedsheets. He hadn’t actually opened his eyes. And each time Buck felt his spirits drop a little more, his heart sink a little lower. He wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to stand it, how many more times he’d be able to reassure Christopher that everything was going to be okay.

Day six they decided it was time for Christopher to go back to school; even if he wouldn’t be able to concentrate, sitting in the hospital or at home all day wasn’t doing him any good and he’d already missed too much. Although the staff was being very understanding. Perhaps more understanding than they had a right to be, seeing as how Buck had implied the injury was sustained while Eddie was on the job.

Day nine Bobby had visited the hospital and practically forced Buck to leave, promising he would stay and call him immediately if anything changed. So he and Christopher spent the day playing with Legos and listening to cartoons on the tv. The story they’d started what felt like years ago sat untouched by Christopher’s bed, neither of them having the heart to continue it. Buck thought Christopher was maybe leaving it until Eddie could come home, until things could go back to normal. Whatever the reasoning was, Buck respected the kid’s decision and didn’t push him on it.

The morning of day ten was when Buck felt the last bits of himself shatter. The two of them had fallen asleep on the couch, it wasn’t always the most comfortable place to sleep but it was easier for the both of them if they were together, and Buck didn’t feel comfortable climbing into Eddie’s bed.

Around 4am Christopher woke up crying, as he had almost every night since the incident.

“Hey, hey buddy, it’s okay.” Buck soothed as he attempted to detangle himself from their mass of blankets.

“Excepts it’s no-not, i-is it?” Christopher hiccupped. “W-we don’t even-even know i-i-if daddy’s gonna wa-wake up. Do we?”

Bucks’ breath escaped in one large rush, and he felt like he’d been sucker punched in the solar plexus. Before he could reign his emotions in there were tears streaking down his cheeks. “Hey no, we can’t think like that.” He whispered wetly, pulling Christopher in for a tight embrace.

“What’s gonna happen if daddy doesn’t wake up?” Christopher asked, his voice a little steadier although Buck could still feel tears soaking into his shirt.

Buck bit his lip, “I don’t know.” He said.

Christopher’s grip tightened on his collar, and he sniffled, breath stuttering. “Will- will th-they take m-me away? I don’t wanna le-lea-ave you.”

“No, no baby no.” Buck pulled back, large hands clasping Christopher’s shoulders tightly. He stared into Christopher’s eyes, waiting until Christopher looked back before he spoke again, maybe the most serious he had ever been in his entire life. “No matter what happens they are not taking you away from me. I will never let anyone take you away from me okay? I promise.”

Christopher nodded, ducking back against his chest and hugging him tightly.

Buck sat for a moment, breathing deeply, almost unable to process the conversation they’d just had. It wasn’t right, it shouldn’t have ever had to happen. And again, Buck felt anger boiling in his stomach. With a deep sigh Buck kissed Christopher’s head and squeezed him just a little tighter in his arms, blinking up at the ceiling to try and stop more tears from breaking past the dam.

Normal visiting hours at the hospital didn’t start until 10, but they’d been given special permission to visit whenever they felt the need to, Buck was pretty sure Bobby had done some sweet talking, and Christopher’s puppy-dog eyes had certainly not hindered the process. Still, he figured a full breakfast before they left was a good idea, seeing as how the food at the hospital was hard to stomach on a good day. Needless to say, Buck hadn’t had a good day in quite a while.

Eggs were the easiest thing to make, and the only thing he’d really learned to perfect before Bobby had gotten too busy to continue their cooking lessons, Buck had always meant to ask when they could start them up again, but something always seemed to get in the way.

The sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon when Christopher started pushing his food around on his plate, having only eaten a couple bites.

“Not hungry?” Buck asked.

Christopher just shook his head, staring sadly at the table.

“How about you take a couple more bites and then we’ll head out, sound good?”

Christopher perked up at that, “To the hospital?” He said softly.

“Yeah, but you have to eat a little more food, deal?” Buck felt slightly hypocritical as the last thing he wanted to do was shovel more food into his mouth, but he knew the both of them had to keep their health up for when Eddie was finally better.

“Deal!”

A little over an hour later found the two of them pulling up to the still fairly empty hospital parking lot and given the time of day it wasn’t hard to find a parking spot near the door. Sometimes Buck would grab the handicap pass, but he never liked to leave it in his car. It felt too permanent, less like he was watching Christopher for an extended period of time and more like things were changing. And he was not ready for things to change.

The nurses on their floor were all familiar with them by now, and all adored Christopher, so it was easy to distract him when he saw the doctor standing in Eddie’s room.

“Hey buddy,” Buck whispered, kneeling down so he was closer to the kid’s height. “How about you show Claire your drawings you made real quick.”

Claire gave him a gentle nod before also kneeling by Chris, “I would love to see your drawings buddy!”

Buck stood, mouthed a ‘thank you’ before he jogged over to his friends’ room. “Hey doc, is something wrong?”

Sophia had long brown hair that she always kept pulled back in a bun and smart green eyes that spoke of years of study, she was the best doctor in the hospital for their current predicament, and Buck found he trusted her easily. “No, nothing’s wrong, I was just checking the readouts. You’re here early.”

Buck shrugged sheepishly, “Couldn’t really stay distracted at home.”

“Listen, Buck, I know that this is hard for you. But this isn’t unusual for the type of injury sustained. Right now, just try not to worry. And, if anything changes, you will be the first to know. And we will cross that bridge if we get to it but worrying too much about what-ifs is just going to drive you crazy. Okay?”

Buck nodded, “I’ll try my best.” He smiled weakly.

Sophia gave a sad smile in response, “I’ll see you later.”

Buck watched her leave, his heart filling with warmth as she stopped to say hello to Christopher; he was always amazed with the way that kid could brighten anyone’s day, even when he was living a nightmare.

But his attention quickly turned back to the bed, and all the beeping machines. With his hands in his pockets Buck stepped closer and stared down at the face he was sure he had memorized. “You need to wake up.” He said.

“Hi daddy!” Christopher called from the doorway, announcing himself before he fully made it to the bed. It allowed Buck half a second to wipe away any stray tears and school his features.

“Come here buddy,” Buck hoisted Christopher onto his lap in the chair next to Eddie’s bed, “how about you tell your dad about the pictures you drew?”

Christopher nodded enthusiastically, pulling one drawing out from the small pile he’d brought with. “This one is us, and we’re all playing video games together.” He paused to pull a second picture on top, “And here we’re at the dog park, I know you said we can’t get a dog of our own, so I thought we could go there and just pet some!”

Buck chuckled at that, smiling at the drawing of a little Christopher petting what was potentially a black lab. “That looks really good bud!”

Christopher flashed a grin up at him before moving on to his next drawing. “And this is all of us at the beach. It’s still a little scary to be close to, but I know you like the beach daddy, so I thought I could be brave for you when you wake up and we can all go. As long as Bucky feels safe there too.”

Buck was saved from having to try and force his choked-up throat to function by a knock against the door.

Christopher turned around and smiled broadly, “Carla!” He called happily.

“Hello sweetie, how are you?”

Chris shrugged, “Alright.” He said a little more somberly. The shift made Buck’s heart ache.

“Come here.” Carla leaned down and pulled Chris into a quick hug, before her attention turned to Buck. “And you, how’s my other sweetie?”

Buck shook his head, but the affection made him smile, “I’m okay. Hey buddy, Carla’s gonna take you out for a bit today.” He leaned in closer with a smirk and a wink in the caretaker’s direction, “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m pretty sure you can convince her to buy you ice cream if you ask really nicely.”

The thought at least made Christopher smile a little wider, and he nodded his head before wrapping his arms around Buck’s neck. “We can come back later?” He whispered in Buck’s ear.

“Yeah of course buddy, I’ll be here.” Buck promised, squeezing his arms around the small frame. “Say bye to your dad okay?”

“Can I hug him?”

“Course.” Buck stood and helped Christopher maneuver over to the bed.

It was a little clumsy, but Chris was able to put his arms over Eddie’s chest without touching any of the wires, “I love you daddy.” He said, before allowing Buck to set him on his feet.

It took less than three seconds after he was left alone in the room for Buck to break, broken sobs pulled from his lungs as his cheeks streaked with tears. “God, Eddie I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

Buck sniffed, covering his eyes with his hands and trying to get his emotions under control. He was just glad he was alone in the room. “Shit.” He cursed with an exhausted sigh. He once again looked at Eddie’s slack face, and barely resisted the urge to brush his fingers along the bruised cheek. “I need you to be okay.” He said, because Buck knew one thing for certain; if Eddie wasn’t okay, he didn’t know if he could ever get over it.

The minutes ticked by one at a time the same way they always did, each one feeling longer than the last. Eventually Buck gave into temptation and laid his head against the slightly scratchy bed sheets he’d grown all too accustomed to during his own extended stays in the hospital. His eyes slipped closed and he was asleep not long after.

He awoke an undetermined amount of time later to a foreign yet strangely familiar sound.

Buck sighed tiredly, blinking the sleep from his eyes and sitting up to glance around the room in search of the source of the noise that had awoken him from his impromptu nap. His heart stuttered to a screeching halt, and all thoughts of sleep vanished immediately as he saw Eddie shifting on the bed.

Buck waited with bated breath for any sign that he wasn’t going crazy, and sure enough a couple seconds later Eddie’s face scrunched up and he groaned. Or maybe it was closer to a grunt. Whatever it was, it was new.

“Eddie?” Buck called, his voice fluttering with nervous excitement.

Eddie’s head shifted towards his voice and Buck felt his hands start to shake, he was getting a little lightheaded.

“Eddie, come on buddy, open your eyes for me.” He licked his lips, praying, “Please.”

The seconds once again felt like they were taking hours to slip by, but in actuality it didn’t take all that long for Buck’s pleas to be heard, and subsequently answered as Eddie forced his heavy eyelids open.

Concern seemed to flash briefly through those eyes as they looked at where Buck was standing over him, but any other emotions were quickly clouded by confusion. “Wha-?”

Buck felt himself sag in relief, a breathless laugh that probably bordered on manic escaping past his lips. “Oh, holy shit, Eddie. Oh my god it is good to hear your voice man.” He sighed.

“What’s happening?”

Eddie’s voice made Buck wince in sympathy, certain it hurt worse to talk than it did for him to hear it. “We can talk about it later okay? I’m gonna go get your doctor.”

And with one last glance and barely contained smile Buck turned and left the room, for the first time feeling a slight lift in his step and the budding hope that maybe, just maybe, things were finally going to be able to settle down for a while.

If only he knew how wrong he was.

#911fox #9-1-1 Fox #buddie #evan buckley #Eddie Diaz #buck x eddie #my writing #fanfic

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