#this came with a little delay because I was completely exhausted this and last week

[mondscheinprinzessin]

Soulmate shorts pt. 2

Written for @another-sun christmas event <3

another short Aleksi/Joel/Joonas soulmate installment for the long waiting time you guys have to endure

the timeline doesn't matter here at all btw

Sprinkling in a little hurt/comfort because of course, it's me, and I hope you enjoy😊

It only needed one look towards Joel for Joonas to know something was up. They hadn’t seen each other for most of the day after Joel and Niko had gone off to the radio station for another interview and the rest of the band was left alone in the studio under Aleksi’s supervision.

But the first step Joel took into the studio made it clear he wasn’t alright, and it wasn’t only Joonas who noticed; Aleksi shot him a worried look, well adjusted to every sign by now that one of them needed a little more support.

Now wasn’t the right time though to do an intervention and they settled with keeping an eye on their partner for now.

And it wasn’t a coincidence that today they finished earlier, producing a small lie to the others, so they could head home a little earlier than usual. It wasn’t easy anyways to concentrate while aware their soulmate was struggling. Joonas could swear his soulmark was itching but did his best not to act upon it, not wanting to further worry Joel in return.

Instead they drove home, Joonas and Aleksi kept on their toes since they knew a direct approach has never worked with Joel. It felt more offensive for Joel to discover that his mood was troubling his partners, so much so that he would rather keep shut and pretend a little longer he was fine.

Joonas didn’t want to think about how similar Aleksi and Joel were in that matter. Different story, same ending. And it hurt none the less when Joonas experienced it second-hand.

But to their surprise Joel didn’t mind showing off his gloominess in fullness. Not even in the dramatic way that liked to come forward when it wasn’t much of a concern, and he was more annoyed than truly upset.

No, as soon as they entered their flat Joel strode towards the couch and lay down, a pillow under his head, and his long hair didn’t even attempt to hide his glistening eyes.

The picture did its best to break Joonas’ heart, and he and Aleksi quickly discarded their stuff so they could join. While Aleksi took a seat at the end of the couch, picking up Joel’s feet to put them on his lap, and running a soothing hand over his legs, Joonas cautiously sat down at Joel’s head.

Another hand ran a comforting path along Joel’s body, loosening knots in his hair, and warming the skin on his neck. His face was already hot and red and Joonas could hear the sniffles that Joel couldn’t suppress.

“’m sorry.”

“What should you be sorry for?” Aleksi asked first.

“Everything?”

So Joel didn’t even know if he had done anything wrong with them, apologizing first and gauging their reaction to see if any criticism was following.

“There’s nothing coming to my mind.” Joonas calmed him down. “We just want to know what’s up.”

Joel swallowed, obviously fighting with himself. But they gave him the time.

“I fucked up after the interview.” He finally said. “The guy was rude and I couldn’t help myself. What if we will never be invited by them again? I fucked up this chance for us and now we never get to play our songs there and no one will hear us.”

Evidently they were already deep in the spiralling phase, producing disaster scenario after disaster scenario, not being able to see the truth right in front of his face.

Joonas, the ever-logical mind among them said, “I’m sure that if you had been really disrespectful, they would have given management a call already, but we didn’t hear from them all day, so I’m sure it’s fine. They will air the interview, and they’re not the only two people deciding about the music on their channel. Regardless there’s more than one radio station out there. Don’t forget you’re visiting Rock Antenne next month!” He tried to cheer him up.

To his satisfaction he could hear Joel chuckle and giving a little acknowledgment in return.

“I will never be like Niko though.” The negativity outwon in his mind. “He always keeps so calm and professional.”

“Good.” Aleksi answered. “Because we don’t need another Niko. What do we need two rappers for?” He tried to break up the mood and smiled audibly.

“Exactly.” Joonas joined. “We love you because you’re you in case you haven’t noticed yet.” Joonas flicked a finger against Joel’s nose to get him out of his head. “If Niko was so special, he would have our soulmark, but he doesn’t, because you belong to us, and we love you, and you’re great. Yes, you can fuck up at times, but all of us do. You don’t need to be like somebody else.”

It took a little time for Joel to absorb all that and to answer.

“Yeah sorry.”

It wasn’t the answer Joonas had hoped for, it sounded more like surrendering to their approval than truly understanding what they had wanted to convey. Maybe they didn’t choose the right words. Especially the part about Joel being special.

It was clear that he had just wanted to fit in ever since he was circled out his whole life by school mates and coworkers and family that didn’t really understand at first. It wasn’t always comfortable being ‘unique’, and sometimes all you wanted was to be normal, to be like someone else, be under security of someone else’s personality and not show your own.

Joonas understood better than he would have liked, all of them did, but it nevertheless hurt that it was still such a big part in their lives.

“We love you Joel.” He repeated therefore and turned Joel’s face so he could lean down and drop a kiss to the tip of his nose.

The problem wouldn’t resolve itself today no matter what they said or did, it took time for Joel to embrace the kindness back, just like his tears needed to dry and a smile would build itself slowly up.

But they could cuddle on the couch, all three of them, watch a movie and wait till Joel has relaxed enough that they could go to bed. Maybe Joonas would start a tickle fight with Aleksi to distract Joel, that would end in a wrestling match and one of them falling down on the carpet, but it was what they needed, and Joonas would do everything for his soulmates.

Aleksi stilled in his movement when Joel suddenly appeared before him, blocking the bedroom door.

“We need to do something about Joonas, you in?”

It has been 5 minutes since Aleksi had stood up after a night with pleasant dreams, so excuse him if he was a little slow, but Joel’s sentence didn’t make any sense.

“You want to do what?”

Joel took away his arm from the door frame that had been obstructing Aleksi’s view to the hallway and the bathroom that called for a nice shower. But it was also a bit hot to see Joel looming over him, he couldn’t lie. Okay get back on track brain.

“You can’t tell me you haven’t been noticing how off Joonas’ has been lately? He needs to relax and we’re going to help him.”

Oh. Yes, this Aleksi indeed has noticed. But it wasn’t surprising for Joonas to be tense and stiff with his current workload. And in addition to that Aleksi had to admit that he and Joel didn’t have a great time lately either, and Joonas had always been there to comfort them, giving everything and apparently forgetting about himself.

Aleksi sighed. Yes, they needed to do something for him. “Alright, you’ve got something in mind already?”

Looking at Joel’s face he most likely had, and with the head start Joel had by being awake earlier he certainly had enough time to think about it.

“I’m going grocery shopping so you can cook something nice. Go take a shower my star.” Joel replied and gave him a kiss finally.

As soon as he had appeared as quickly did he vanish out of the door and Aleksi could only shake his head as he fetched his things for the bathroom. When Joel had set his mind on something he could be incredibly determined.

-

The jingle of keys indicated Joonas’ return, and Aleksi swirled in the sauce to make sure it’s ready. He had timed his cooking perfectly and the table was already set for three, just waiting for them to sit down and eat.

In the hallway he could hear Joel welcoming their boyfriend and soon he felt a pair of arms snaking around his middle and a kiss to his neck. He smiled happily down into the pot, the feeling of one of them pressed to his back, warm and comforting, never getting old and never something he could get used to, always making his heart speed up.

“Smells delicious baby.”

Oh what a compliment could do to Aleksi, he thought as he joyfully served everyone a plate.

Sitting opposite of Joonas gave him the perfect view to observe him and it was effortless to him to see behind his smile. The contentment was real, but the hard lines around his mouth and eyes didn’t vanish with a good meal. It has been too long that Joonas was letting himself torn apart to all sides, and another full day at the studio with Olli did its rest.

Making a good face was something they all learned to do, and especially in their line of work it had to be done, keeping up the face for the press and fans even when they were utterly exhausted. But here, around his loved ones, Joonas didn’t need to pretend.

After they were done eating it was time for round 2 of their plan and after Joel had disappeared for a minute and Aleksi had done his best to convince Joonas they could leave the dishes for a while, they only needed to get Joonas to the bathroom.

“Out of your clothes.” Joel demanded rather excited for that their goal was to help Joonas relax.

Joonas looked at him surprised. “Uhm, I’m sorry Joel, but not today. I’m tired.”

“No, no, no sexy time today, promised, but get out of your clothes.” Joel replied but before Joonas could even lift a finger he was already being shoved towards their bathroom.

Aleksi followed and laughed silently to himself as he watched Joel undress him while Joonas was still busy taking everything in.

Food wasn’t the only thing Joel had bought, a few candles had found their way into the shopping cart and were now lightning up the room to dim the harsh light from the lamp. It made for a seriously calming atmosphere, and the sweet and flowery smell from the bath foam only added to it.

The bathtub was almost full of water and Aleksi quickly turned off the tap before an accident could occur. Testing the temperature, he deemed it safe to enter the water and got rid of his pants and long shirt at least.

Meanwhile Joel and Joonas had gotten naked and while it was certainly a nice picture to see them so close together with their bodies on full display it also warmed his heart to see Joel so careful and attentive to Joonas.

Before anyone of them could get cold Joel helped Joonas get into the bathtub and Aleksi positioned himself outside at the head. There wasn’t enough room for all three of them anyways (nothing they could fix as easily as making more space on the couch and bed) and he had another job to do.

Carefully guiding Joonas’ head back, giving a loving smile before making him close his eyes, Aleksi put both of his hands to his head. He started out with his thumbs at the temple, rubbing the skin there in circles, then travelled to his forehead to card his fingers through his hair.

While he was tending to his curls and the scalp, eliciting the one and other mellow moan of satisfaction, Joel was running his hands over the rest of Joonas’ body.

Although at times it seemed like he was just trying to push the foam around to get a better look at his body.

“I love you both.” Joonas said after some time, his voice quiet and soft.

For Aleksi it turned out to be quite difficult to answer to this at times, and his eyes would cast downwards, feelings too many that they would definitely spill out of him incomprehensibly and with too much force. But while his mouth struggled to find the right words (he only needed three and they were right there but so hard to form around his tongue), his hands were extra careful to caress Joonas’ face.

And Joel was right there to reassure Joonas that they were feeling the same, leaning forwards to capture his wrist and kissing his way around the little soulmark, a shiver noticeable on Joonas’ body. Aleksi could almost feel Joel’s caress on himself, and although he was lacking the symbols that united them, their love for each other was strong enough that in this moment he didn’t need them for assurance. Joel’s loving gaze he got when he broke away from Joonas was all he needed to know.

#blind channel #my fics #will be posted on ao3 in the future when I have time #this came with a little delay because I was completely exhausted this and last week #thank you Gemma for giving me more time #I thought after giving Aleksi all the attention that Joel and Joonas deserve a little care themselves #and I had the scene with Joonas for the longest time because poor man has to struggle with his two traumatised boyfriends #and he deserves some relaxation

[cpacs-blog]

I Never Told You

An angsty af Petruo short-fic

Eld is sweaty and gray. He smells awful… like dirt and iron and rot, and this entire stupid hospital smells the same. Petra forces herself to sit close and to not throw up.

“You don’t have to speak,” she says quietly to him. She’s quiet because she doesn’t want to wake Eld’s nameless roommate behind the curtain, but that scout is dead already so it doesn’t really matter. “You’re healing. You don’t have to entertain me. You can rest.”

Rest… that’s selfishly the last thing she wants for her good friend. Eld’s serrated leg and his decimated arm are weeping blood and gathering infection and flies in this humid hell, but she can’t let him go just yet. If he rests, he might rest forever and that is unacceptable. She can’t bear his suffering but she can’t bear his loss either. She won’t get to choose.

He speaks, mouth gummy and slow. “-Y-You?”

“Me.” She holds his hand through her splints. “Broken arm. Broken wrists. Broken ribs. But I’m fine. It will heal.”

Eld surveys her and sees it is all true, she is broken, but she is still in one piece which is more than he can claim for himself. “Th- the others?”

“Eren’s safe.” That nosy, insolent shit. “We did it, Eld,” she beams. “We kept him alive. He can still fix the wall. Levi is fine too. And, well, Gunther…” She can’t pretend. They all saw it… Gunther’s swinging body, exsanguinating a faucet of blood. Eld’s delirious, but not to the point of true stupidity yet so she knows she can’t deny the obvious. “We cut him down and brought him back,” she reports instead. “He’s home. His grandparents have him now.”

“Quick? It was quick?”

“It was quick,” she assures.

He is only a little mollified and he tries not to think too much about it. “Ruo?”

Petra smiles, heart bursting. “He made it, Eld. He’s okay. He’s downstairs. He’s still a jackass.”

Good. That idiot annoyed Eld beyond what he thought was possible and yet Eld loved him completely. “Did he tell you?”

Petra squeezes Eld’s hand tight, fierce. “Yes. He did. He told me everything.”

Eld’s mouth lifts and he finally feels peace settle in his minced bones. “Thank god. I’ve been asking him to for years.”

~~~

The last thing she truly hears is Eld crashing to the ground in several pieces. He crumples and breaks; his limbs leave a gingerbread trail to his hemorrhaging body.

And Petra- young, idealistic, spritely Petra- is left to contend with a wash of adrenaline that freezes every muscle in her exhausted shell. She is in thin air but somehow underwater as sound and light delay their path to her senses. She watches the giant move towards her but she is a spectator outside her body, frozen and doomed.

So she doesn’t see or hear it. All she knows is she was middair and in the way for one heartbeat, then cartwheeling off course to safety the next. The moss receives her fall but she hits the ground hard enough it feels like cobblestone. Her arm is at an odd angle with the bone tenting her translucent skin. Her mouth pools with metallic blood.

Distantly, one explosion rocks the trees, then two titans. Goddammit, Eren. Petra rolls herself to look at the perfect blue sky and tries to tame her thundering heart. She is alive. She was in the way, but now she is alive.

He is too far away to properly see, kicked and painted across the forest trees. So she never sees him again, never hears his sarcastic and wry humor, his poorly concealed insecurities. He is gone from her, and she would lie to her last dying friend in the hospital a week later because they never brought the dead home. The cart never came; they left them where they lay. So she never sees or hears from him again, but she has the bruise of his handprint on her back that tells her everything she needs to know.

~~~

Eld dies before the oil lamp does. His fever breaks him and he sweats so much, Petra is sure he is deflating in front of her. It’s not noble or heroic: he weeps, thrashes, and relieves himself as his story closes around him. She sits and holds his hand until the end and covers him with a white sheet before she leaves the room.

Author’s note: thanks for reading my fic! I am procrastinating on real work and loooovvveee imagining/writing the angstiest, most emo shit imaginable when I’m tired. I hate that the og squad is dead: they would’ve been so cool to see develop in the later seasons. But as a hoe for unrequited love stories and someone who loves putting her favorite characters through hell for sport, I had to do this.

#petruo #oluo bozado #auruo bossard #petra ral #auretra #levi squad #eld jinn #gunther schultz #oluo bossard #attack on titan #im feeling angsty ok

[prettywordsyouleft]

Resistance Training

Pairing: Yoo Kihyun x female reader

Genre: fluff / romance

Warnings: light cursing, a ridiculous amount of fluff

Word Count: 2383

“I’m not going to—”

You hated when this happened. When the words that were rapidly firing off your tongue came to a sudden standstill before drying out where they faltered. There was no way they would come back and assist you in finishing your sentence. Not when the rest of your senses were floundering too.

Your eyes had rounded, allowing you to take in the scene before you as if you went from seeing in 240p right up to HD quality. Your nostrils flared a little, not to pick up a scent but to accommodate the inhalation of a deeper breath. Your ears were ringing in alarm, and your fingers curled up on themselves, fighting the urge to lurch out and grab a hold of this moment a little longer.

Your poor heart, now thudding loudly and drowning out the ringing in your ears, wouldn’t cope if you had even one more second of this.

Your brain, which had clocked off for a few minutes, seemed to make a shaky return to reality and started overfiring commands.

Breathe!

Swallow to moisten your mouth!!

Recover with the least amount of embarrassment!!!

If you weren’t so stuck in the hazardous situation of rebooting your system all at once, you’d laugh. There should be absolutely no reason that this physical reaction still happened. It wasn’t as if it were your first time seeing it. No, you had lost count of how much this had happened over the last year.

And yet, here you were, completely falling apart over a damn smile.

His smile.

By the time you were fully functioning again, the room had changed. People were no longer where they had been, and conversations were further along. You were certain you had been facing the door, but somehow, you’d followed him around in the opposite direction, as if you were the earth riding your faithful orbit around the sun.

Because Yoo Kihyun was your sun, especially when he smiled like that.

“Y/N?” A hand gesture caught in your periphery, and you blinked several times before refocusing. “Are you alright?”

“Oh!” you said, flinching in delay to Hyungwon’s question. “Yep. I’m yep.”

“You’re yep?” he questioned with a frown, no doubt wondering for the hundredth time over the level of your sanity.

You could confirm it was slowly dwindling if he asked.

“Are you coming to the meeting, or do you plan on standing here staring at God knows what for another five minutes?” your co-worker asked, though you were too busy noticing the smirk that Kihyun shot down at the cup of iced coffee he had just brewed.

Thankfully, after the marathon effort from the first smile, you were too exhausted to instantly react again. You turned jarringly, and followed Hyungwon out of the staff kitchen.

Not again! you internally screeched as your muscles seized, rooting you in place. All coherency flooded out of you when Kihyun stepped into the elevator the following afternoon, shooting you one of his flawless, eye-crinkling smiles. You gulped hastily and squeaked when your body’s inability to function properly shunted you into the metal bar to the left. Gripping onto the bar for dear life seemed to be the best option right now whilst your brain lagged and failed to load.

“Y/N?” Jooheon, another co-worker, called, sounding concerned. You didn’t have the strength to lift your gaze from your shoes where it had fallen a moment before. “You okay?”

“She’s been like that all week long,” Hyungwon drily answered for you, expelling a long breath. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

“Huh. Well, we need to get off here,” Jooheon said, prying you off the bar and all but carrying you out of the elevator.

You saw it again, just before you got out of the elevator. Kihyun was smiling down at the folders he held.

It took you precisely three minutes to come back to yourself, and the first thing you did was huff indignantly. “He’s doing it on purpose!”

“Doing what?” Jooheon wondered whilst Hyungwon shook his head tiredly.

Not realising you still had the eyes of your friends on you, you cringed and pasted on a too-bright smile. “Nothing! Don’t worry!”

“I think I’m going to worry for a long time, Y/N,” Hyungwon informed you with a heavy seat in his chair. He pulled a long drag of coffee in through the Starbucks cup he held, and you tried to tally up how many cups of caffeine he’d injected himself with today. He surely didn’t look as buzzed as he ought to be.

“You do that,” you told him with a pitying pat on his shoulder, and Hyungwon shot you an incredulous look as you stepped back into your private office space.

After the door clicked shut behind you, you began to pace the length of the small room.

Kihyun had noticed, hadn’t he? After a whole year of being seemingly invisible to the man, he had finally figured out your most embarrassing weakness. Reaching up into your already mussed hair, you grabbed at the roots until you whined in protest.

“Calm down,” you instructed, nodding after the statement as if you were agreeing to it. “It’s not the end of the world.”

Isn’t it? Internally, you weren’t so sure.

“So, Yoo Kihyun has finally noticed you. This is a good thing. Maybe it’ll help you get over this ridiculous crush. If he keeps enforcing his smiles your way, you’ll get used to them.”

A bubble of laughter rose before you could even try to attempt to believe it. Clamping a hand over the hysteria, you chose instead to focus on calming breaths. In and out. You didn’t need to stress out over this. You were a strong, intelligent woman who had worked too hard to get to this point in your life and career to tip off the deep end over a godforsaken smile.

It’s the best smile in the world, your traitorous heart swooned in a thumping medley, and your brain groaned loudly in protest.

You had to face the facts. Even if you could level with the boldest men and women in this industry, one merry smile from Yoo Kihyun had you done for.

Thankfully, you didn’t cross paths with the investment broker for another week. You regained the confidence that was lost spectacularly with your co-workers and secured a new deal for the sales team to work over. You were so busy delegating tomorrow’s tasks through emails after work hours ended that you didn’t even realise someone was in your office until you looked away from your monitor to grab your glass of water.

And promptly dropped it in your lap.

“Shit,” he said, and your brain miraculously echoed the sentiment.

However, it didn’t pick up why Kihyun was rounding your desk after attacking the tissue box on it. “Shit,” he said again, and you smiled a little loosely at the second curse. He glanced at you and shook his head. “Come on, pick up on the fact that your skirt is now soaked.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah. Take the tissues, Y/N.”

Blinking at the sound of your name on his lips, you realised you had, in fact, hit rock bottom in your juvenile crush. Your hands clumsily reached out for the tissues and mopped up the mess you had made.

Kihyun cringed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “This wasn’t how I was planning it to go.”

“The good news is you haven’t smiled yet. That’s the problem.”

The confession momentarily froze you both, your eyes darting away from his before he could gaze too deeply and uncover more of your pesky thoughts. You were internally scolding yourself when Kihyun stepped closer, tilting his head to the side in thought. “It’s working?”

“Working?”

“I have a confession to make,” he announced with a light chuckle. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for the longest time.”

You stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Every time I see you, I want to come and talk to you. I’m normally quite an extroverted guy, so it bothered me why I would get so tongue-twisted in your company. And without realising it, I’d just smile like a fool in front of you and blank out on the opportunity to say anything.”

You remained silent, though you watched Kihyun pick up one of your pens to fidget with. “Recently, I noticed you seemed just as affected as me. Well, I think you are. So, I started smiling before my brain could shut off, and that’s when I noticed you reacted to it. Like really reacted. I’m sorry if I’ve caused you to have a hard time around the office. At the same time, I’m relieved to know my interest in you isn’t so one-sided.”

Kihyun chuckled after a lengthy pause, albeit more anxiously this time. “Say something.”

“You were smiling just for me?”

“Yeah.” He clicked the pen in and out a little excessively before his face lit up bashfully. You jerked up, covering his mouth with your hands. Kihyun’s surprise vibrated against your palm.

“If you smile, my brain is going to shut off, and right now we need to talk about this.”

Kihyun’s eyes crinkled up despite your attempts, and you felt the flutter of a hundred butterflies take flight. It was disorienting, and your cheeks heated up.

“I really like it when you smile. A little too much. For the last year, I’ve struggled whenever you smile my way,” you shyly admitted, and your confidence tried to flare against the nerves. You had steel balls when it came to propositioning big sales deals, but with this one gorgeous man, you were flailing to maintain that reputation.

“You’ve liked me that long?” he mumbled into your hands, and you pulled away as if his lips had zapped your skin. You slumped back into your chair as he frowned.

And then male satisfaction spread his mouth out into the smuggest grin. You clamped your eyes shut before your brain stopped functioning again.

“Kihyun!”

“I like this, Y/N.” He was laughing now, and if the visual of his delight wasn’t bad enough, the sound was more intoxicating. “I like this a lot.”

“We’re hopeless! If you keep smiling at me then I’m not going to get anywhere with you.”

“I don’t know, maybe we could work on you building some resistance,” he teased, and you peeked out of one eye long enough to slap his forearm.

You both stilled at the connection, especially when your hand seemed to curl around it as if it had the right to do so. Kihyun glanced at your hand and then back at your face. “Maybe I need some resistance training too.”

You blinked in confusion at him, watching as he became genuinely flustered. If you weren’t so mesmerised, you’d be thrilled to see the same upheaval you experienced often being displayed on the man. He groaned and ran a hand down his face. “This is the worst torture.”

“I’ll move my hand.”

“I’m still going to want to kiss you even if you stop touching me,” he whined, and you gasped. Kihyun cringed. “Shit. I said that out loud.”

“Yes, you did.”

“At least a smile isn’t as dangerous as your hand is right now.”

“I don’t know. I’d like to think that you’ve caused a lot of damage to my heart rate over the last year,” you murmured, flexing your hand’s grip around his arm. Kihyun gave you a tortured look before placing both his hands on the arms of your office chair and leaning down towards your face.

You blanched. “What are you doing?!”

“Kissing you.”

“But I’m not ready to.” The feeble excuse wasn’t what you really felt. You had been long ready for this to happen.

“A year, Y/N. We’ve both been harbouring ridiculous crushes on the other for a year. Let’s see if it’s been worth it,” he suggested with a pleading tone.

You nodded. “When you put it that—”

He didn’t wait for another second, brushing his lips over yours gently. For as long as you had been captivated by his smiling mouth, you hadn’t once wondered how soft it would feel up against yours.

And unlike all the times when you had struggled to have control over your body in front of this man, now, everything felt too easy. Your hands moved, one to tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck and the other to rest over his chest, feeling the way his heart thudded in beat with yours. You opened up so the kiss could deepen, and you felt every press of his lips, the swipe of his tongue and the heat of the kiss with complete clarity.

You had thought that kissing this man would send you over the edge. And whilst it did, with nirvana nearing with every second spent tangling your soul with his, you were suddenly aware of the power you possessed around him. The idea made you giggle into his mouth a little, and you felt his silent questioning before he pulled away to arch an eyebrow.

You shook your head. “I didn’t stop functioning just now with your kiss. I actually feel rather level-headed.”

“Yeah,” Kihyun replied, nodding thoughtfully. “I felt fully in control of myself just now despite losing control when I kissed you.”

“Maybe we just need to keep kissing each other?” you suggested demurely, and Kihyun laughed.

You sighed, feeling swept away by the sound in a dreamy state. Kihyun kissed you again, bringing you back to reality. He nodded as soon as your eyes were focused on his. “I think we definitely need to keep up with this practice.”

“Resistance training, as you said.”

“Every time one of us slips up, we’ll kiss the other to bring them back?” he offered, and you grinned.

“That might become dangerous office gossip if you smile at me in front of others,” you lamented playfully, and Kihyun tugged your chin up, so you were back to staring at him. He smiled and then kissed you before you slipped away with delirium.

“Maybe I’ll save my smiles for when it’s just you and me. I can’t imagine having to wait until we’re off the clock to end up locking lips again.”

_________________

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[MONSTA X Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist]

#kwritersworldnet #kdiarynet #kihyun fiction #kihyun fanfic #kihyun scenarios #kihyun fluff #kihyun au #monsta x fiction #monsta x fanfic #monsta x scenarios #monsta x fluff #monsta x au #kpop fiction #kpop fanfic #kpop fluff

[annieintheaair]

Fake friends on weekends killing me slowly, getting back the time and love that I owed me. Finally getting good at letting go, mastering the art of how to be alone.

This has been quite the week. Once the work trips fall apart, they all seem to fall apart.

Wednesday ended up being "A Day" at my favorite bakery so I left a little earlier than usual to take a detour to get my free pie. It was worth it, even though I didn't realize I had a fork and literally had to fold the pie like a taco to eat it.

I made it to yoga, which was nice. My friends there were trying to be helpful by offering suggestions on places to move. I told them that I was supposed to be moving into an apartment next week but decided not to take it. I feel at peace with that decision.

After yoga, I rushed over to Students. It's sad to think that the school year is winding down and we only have a few weeks left. We're planning on having a summer itinerary though so that we can get together often.

That night at work ended up being a long one. We were supposed to go to San Antonio and boarded the flight, taxied out, and then had to go back to the gate due to the weather en route to San Antonio. Once we were back at the gate, the pilots called out fatigued since the fight got delayed until 5am. All of the routes to SAT were closed. We tried to call out fatigued, too, but they threatened us with zero pay and missed trips. Instead, they sent us to the hotel for a couple of hours. We had to Uber there and back and of course, they set it up that the Uber dropped us off at the training center and not the hotel so it was a long walk. By the time I got to my room, I had less than two hours to nap before getting back up at 3:40am to get ready, head back to the airport, and work the SAT turn. We got back late on Thursday, which was also pretty crappy.

Thursday night I wanted to call out from work but went since I was flying with friends. Everything went relatively smoothly and I made it to yoga on Friday afternoon. It was just what I needed.

Friday night turned out somewhat okay and Saturday morning I napped for a very short time before pulling myself off of my couch to go to slow flow yoga. I left there dripping in sweat and so exhausted but thought I'd try to go to Central Market and Trader Joe's but neither was a success since the crowds all came out and the parking was limited. I ended up going home and hanging out until it was time to go back to work.

I thought for sure we were going to cancel last night because they reassigned our pilots and had to find us new ones. The new ones were super close to going illegal so I wasn't sure that we would get out on time given the storms and the ramp being closed. We made it to Oklahoma City anyway, though it was later than planned, which also meant less sleep.

I can't tell you have relieved I was to get home this morning and know that I'm off for the night. I had every intention of going to church in Fort Worth but I was too tired to get up from my nap until the afternoon when I decided to run a few errands in town.

It's weird that it's Cinco de Mayo and I'm completely sober. I remember so many Cinco de Mayos before wanting to get a margarita all day. Back in 2015, I was a new hire flight attendant on reserve, calling scheduling every hour to ask if they'd release me so I could go to the Mexican restaurant next to my apartment to get a margarita. Even though this year is very different, I still might grab a margarita after yoga tonight.

This month marks one year since I moved across the metroplex. It honestly feels like it has been the longest year. It has been filled with a lot of good but also a lot of bad.

I remember going to my first yoga classes in Fort Worth and being that new person who knew no one and for the first few months, the instructors didn’t even know my name. I felt like I just couldn’t find my groove or fit in anywhere. I didn’t feel at home at all.

For most of last summer, I spent Tuesday through Thursday back in my old town, mainly so I could go to my yoga classes. I’d drop my dogs off at their sitter on Tuesdays and then live like a homeless person until Thursday afternoon. I’d go to yoga at noon on Tuesday, spend my afternoon running errands, going to appointments, and working from coffee shops. I’d fly on Tuesday nights and then make my way back there Wednesday for another yoga class and eventually Students in the evenings when school was back in session. I’d fly Wednesday nights, too, and then Thursday I’d go to one last class before picking up my dogs and heading home.

It was really rough living that life and now I can’t even imagine how I ever did that because lately I come home from work and crash on my couch for a good chunk of the day between trips. I’m working more than I’ve worked in years and it is really draining me. A friend sent me a meme a few years ago, back when I worked a lot, and it said something like, “My mom said I need to find a rich man. I said, ‘Mom, I am a rich man!’” Life would definitely be better and easier if we finally got our new contract, a raise, and some retro pay, but whether we do or we don’t, my goal is to try to earn 6 figures this year and if I keep flying as much as I am right now, that very well might be possible.

I’m learning to make the best out of every situation and appreciate the things I have. I think that a lot of times, we don’t realize what we have until it’s too late. I’m learning to work with what I have to reach my goals even if other things in my life don’t improve.

It has been almost 2 years since I lost Dan and rereading some of his texts now makes me realize all the things I wish I had now, are all the things I had when he was alive. I wanted someone to fight for me and believe in fixing things instead of walking away. I wanted someone to feel like I was the best thing that ever happened to them. Shortly after he passed away, I made a little video since there was a text message trend going on. I'll share it here:

Reading over Dan's old texts made me realize that at one point, we switched roles. Dan went from being the avoidant to being the anxious one. In our relationship, long before all of these texts, and in my relationships since, Dan sounded like me. All the things he said to me are things I've said to guys I've had in my life since. He never wanted to let me go a day without knowing how he felt about me, and it means so much to me to look back on all of that now and know that at one point in my life, there was a guy who thought the world of me and loved me despite my flaws.

These last few months have allowed me a lot of time to shift my focus. I've been working more, making more money, prioritizing my health/fitness, trying to make new friends and maintain friendships with old ones, spending time with family, and really learning more about myself and what I want in my life. I've also had the opportunity to spend more time with God, reading my devotionals and praying for guidance.

When we drove home from Oklahoma a few weekends ago, my friend Nancy made me realize that it's ok to take a pause and enjoy being single and not dating right now. I'm getting the opportunity to self-reflect and realign my priorities. It's ok to put yourself first and do what makes you happy. I'm ok right now pausing dating and pausing my move to be able to work on other more important things. With God, anything is possible and sometimes, you just need to let go and let God.

xoxo

Annie

[anos-sensei]

Imagine hc.

Mammon snaps.

Parts: one two three four

I hope you enjoy this.

I've had this hc for a LONG time bubbling in my head twisting and crunching up all the little space storage It had left.

Love I'd APPRECIATED!

Warning: strong language, cursing, mild angst, mammon centric. No mc.

Mammon was tired to say the least, he was, in fact. Exhausted.

A few famillars of him had been catching anomalies up in the human worlds, people abusing of his blessings and his curses getting out of hand.

He had been working his ass off the past few weeks and today was FINALLY the day where he could sleep a bit.

Even though he was a demon, unlike Levi, who by simply raising the temperature of his room could stay awake months on end, or Lucifer who simply refused to sleep because of his fucked pride, he was semi normal. He needed sleep every once in a while.

And the witch that summoned him this morning didn't help, that BITCH pissed him off to no end.

How can they even expect him to act nice and docile when they KNEW he has been this busy.

He came home in the early afternoon, his head pounding from the incesant calls he had been having both in devildom and the human realms, his familars had been going insane from the sudden rupture of balance. And unfortunately for him, he didn't have the time to tell Lucifer before he had to go, it was an urgent matter and as much as he would've liked to delay it even he had some sense of importance.

Opening the door to his room he was expecting to find his ol' beautify room, goldie, framed on his bedside table his pretty pool table. Instead... His room was completely empty.

His heart sank.

What the fuck happened? He was only away for what? Maybe three weeks?

Sniffing the air he can still smell the presence of his belongings... And the smell and the strong smell of,

Lucifer.

Sighing mammon drops his bag on the ground, making his way to the dining room where he most likely would find the oldest, sipping a cup of coffee with probably a paper in hand.

Entering the hall, just like expected Lucifer was seated at the end of the table, his aura proud and relaxed. To his surprise though, beel asmo Levi and satan were there too, each doing their own thing. Too tired to care though mammon walks in a straight line to Lucifer placing his hands on the table with a soft bang.

Hearing the noise the eldest looks up, his eyebrow rising at the sight of his younger brother.

"Give me back my stuff." Mammon says dryly.

And if it wasn't for his current mood, mammon would have laughed at that face.

Satan was watching with a slight smirk what was happening and asmo was already starting to feel annoyed.

"Ugh mammon, it's not a big deal you had too much stuff either way."

"Yeah, you should be happy we didn't sell it, you still owe me about 80.000 grimm." Levi added absentmindly, focused on his game.

The growl that escaped mammon shut asmo and Levi up immediately, surprising Satan too. They had never seen mammon in such a palpable mood.

Turning his head back to Lucifer he repeats, letter for letter his phrase.

"Shut it. I'm talking to Lucifer." Mammon whispers harshly, side eying asmo. His eyes glowing a cold blue. "Im not in the mood for you guy's worthless teasing and useless grudges." He stares coldly at his two younger siblings, for a moment asmo's blood runs cold, shievers running through his body and his being self feeling the urge to look down.

Mammon was still trying to keep his cool by supressing his aura, but it was getting hard.

"Give me back my stuff."

Lucifer's eye twitched at mammon's sour mood.

"You think you can act like this without consequences?"

Mammon straightens back up, pinching the bridge of his nose, a clear sign that he was reaching his last straw... If he wasn't already.

"Ya seriously think I give a shit about the consequences right now? I just want to take a fuckin' shower and pass out on my bed. Don't push it luci." The annoyed tone in his voice is clear but none of the brothers besides Levi had ever heard it.

Swiftly Levi swats asmo's phone down, getting the fifth born's attention.

"We have to leave" Levi whispers and signals it to Satan who was absolutely confused, but he trusted his brother's judgment.

"This isn't going to end well" he mouths, and Satan nods, his curiosity peeking but his concerns for beel were greater. He nudged beel getting the giant's attention.

"We've got to leave." Satan whispers and beel looks up, confusion on his face when he sees mammon.

"Mammon! You're back!" Beel exclaims excitedly, his little puppy eyes looking up to his big brother who's cold glowing eyes direct to him.

"Sleep well." Mammon says, source magic induced in his words.

With a single phrase beel was out cold, his massive body swaying to the side softly lying over another chair.

Satan's eyes widen when he finally realises the gravity of the situation, mammon had //never// used magic on one of his brothers. Especially not beel.

"You three, leave. Now. Take beel with you." Lucifer orders and the three of them can only agree, Levi transforming swiftly and taking beel with his tail. Ushering the two others outside.

"Mammon, try to calm down.." Levi whispers and quickly runs out when a fizzle of electricity sparks besides his head.

Levi hisses, shutting the door behind him.

"What just happened...?" Asmo asks, having seen the spark next to levi's head too.

"We're in for some violence... If you could even call that violence... I haven't seen mammon this angry since... " Levi sighs remembering the last time he had seen mammon this angry.

During their fall when one of the angels had injured belphie who was reaching his limit, the angel had mocked them and mammon went feral, going on a rampage killing hundreds of angels in the few minutes that followed.

And while his attention was turned away lilith got shot, which pushed mammon over the edge, forcing him to use source magic. Mammon's transformation as a demon had started then, horns already pushing through his skull, blood running over his face from ruptures formed by it.

Just thinking about that time send chills up leviathan's spine. He never wanted to see his brother like that again.

"Since?" Satan asks, having zero recollections of mammon being angry at all. Irritated, yes, crying, yes, annoyed, yes. But never angry he would always brush off things like these and beg for forgiveness.

Levi gives Satan a side eye, glancing at asmo who seems to get it. Asmo hadn't witnessed mammon in his full glory, but he had heard of it. After all rumors travel fast. The one who had corrupted destroyed and annihilated entire countries and civilisations, consumed by greed, his blessing enriching some countries and sinking others in the depths of poverty.

Asmo sighs and pushes Levi and Satan up to the attic.

"It's not important, let's go put beel to bed and try to get belphie to cast a resting spell on the dining room... If it not too late... At least."

#obey me levi #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me fanfic #obey me hc #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me asmo #obey me beelzebub #obey me no mc

[v-hope]

One Way Ticket

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader (ft. Yeontan bc Family)

Genre: Flufffff, established relationship, long distance relationship (not for long), and like, slight angst at the beginning if you squint your eyes and do a backflip

Word Count: 4k

Summary: Long distance relationships are never an easy thing, and although you and Taehyung had managed to make it work for four years and were used to not seeing each other that much already, he couldn’t help but feel like his birthday was ruined at the news of you being stuck at the airport due to a bad weather flight delay. However, although things didn’t quite go to plan, it only took for you to arrive two hours before the day was over for it to be his happiest of birthdays so far.

A/N: Hellooo, well, obviously this is for my man’s birthday 🥳💝 This story takes place in my Red Flags series’ timeline since one of you requested it and I thought it would be really cute, but you don’t need to have read it to understand what’s going on here. I hope you guys enjoy! please let me know your thoughts~

“You were supposed to be here today” Taehyung reminded you, unconsciously tightening his hold on the phone as his low voice did a good job at letting you know just how upset he was.

You sighed, that alone letting him know you weren’t having a good time with said fact that was just not happening anymore either. “I can’t control the weather, love…”

Now, he knew that. Of course he knew that. But right then, he really fucking wished you did control the weather. That way you wouldn’t be stuck in another continent still due to a snowstorm that had delayed, if not cancelled, all flights that week — a stupid snowstorm that was keeping you away from him for longer than you should have.

It was a joke. It had got to be a joke.

That was what Taehyung kept telling himself throughout the whole phone call, and continuing to believe —to wanting to believe— so even after you hung up.

You were supposed to arrive that night. That had been the plan all along. All his schedule he had rearranged so he could make sure that particular night he would spend with you. Just you and him. Since the very next day, also known as his birthday, he would have to go to rehearsal for BTS’ presentation on the 31th like every other year, he was looking forward the most to this night. He had it all planned out. Your flight would arrive at 8pm, he would pick you up and then the two of you would have dinner together back at your —now— shared place. You would wait up until midnight, have some cake afterwards, and then stay up late so you could, well, catch up on a few coupley things you had been missing out on for a good while now. After all, you had not seen each other in nearly five months.

It was funny, how he used to always say he would never be able to do long distance relationships when he was younger, yet here he was now, four years —and going strong— into one. It was hard as hell, he could not deny it, but he wouldn’t have had it any other way, not as long as he got to be with you in the end. And at the end of the day it was all worth it, for you had finally graduated uni back home, managed to find a job in Seoul, and were now moving in with him like the two of you had agreed on a long time ago, once you realised you were most definitely sticking together for as long as your lives allowed you to. So, even if he had to wait a little longer to see you, this time it was different, for you had only gotten a one way ticket, and he would never again have to drop you off at the airport and cling on to you like his life depended on it, somehow being harder for him to let go of you as the years went by.

Nevertheless, it sucked. Right then, it really fucking sucked. Five months had gone by without seeing you already and turns out he would now have to wait one or even two more days than planned? Bullshit. And that if he was being optimistic, because he swore to God he would lose his shit if you had to spend New Years Eve on a plane, alone. Not like you were spending it together to begin with either, since he had that thing to attend to, but you would at least have a good time with some of the friends you had made during the time you had stayed in Seoul for your uni’s exchange program, and who had now invited you over to a party you had oh-so-excitedly told him about.

That night, Taehyung went to bed late. Still wanting to believe with everything in him you were just pulling a prank on him like you loved to do every now and then, and that you would walk through the front door anytime with that tired face of yours after the long ass flights to Korea he was so used to by then — the same exhausted face that would light up as a bright smile took over your factions instead at the sight of him.

However, that night, you did not make it home. What you did make it to instead, was to be the first one to congratulate him on his day. Over the phone, yes, with the airport’s background noise and not in person like he had wanted to, yet there you were being once again the first one to do so, at exactly 00:00. And somehow, that alone was enough to make him happy before going to sleep. Not as happy as he would’ve been with getting to sleep with you in his arms, of course, but happy nevertheless.

He did not lose faith, though. The next morning, as he got ready to head out to rehearsal, he kept glancing at his apartment’s door over and over, still waiting for it to burst open anytime and for you to walk inside right after.

When that didn’t happen, he looked forward to the moment his members brought him his birthday cake as they waited in the dressing rooms for their turn to rehearse. Now, the guys hadn’t told him they were bringing him cake, but after all these years it was pretty much a given. And it would only make sense that you were there, right? Whether it was bringing the cake to him as everyone in the room sang the traditional birthday song to him, or showing up as a surprise right after.

Once that didn’t happen either, he couldn’t hide his disappointment anymore — still being grateful to everyone else for trying to make his special day a memorable one, yet not being able to fully enjoy it without you there. Even falling in the cliché of wishing for you to be there as he blew out the candles. That was truly all he wanted, after all.

And once his schedule for the day was finally cleared up, his last hope was walking into the apartment that night and seeing you already there waiting for him.

Again, that didn’t happen.

Biting the inside of his cheek as he walked into an empty apartment, although Yeontan was there to excitedly welcome him back home and had managed to bring a weak smile to his face, he couldn’t help but feel his eyes well up with tears. Telling himself over and over how stupid it was to be upset over something neither of you could control, he contemplated calling you for a few seconds, shaking that thought off with a tilt of his head and deciding to go take a hot shower instead. No matter how bad he wanted to, if he did call you, he knew for sure he would end up being even more upset than he already was, and then you would end up being upset as well, and that he did not want.

Not even bothering on drying his hair later that night, he changed into his pyjamas and called Tan to go keep him some company like it was usual by then. Watching the fluffy dog make himself comfortable on the mattress, Taehyung turned the lights off so he could get into bed for once and for all — wanting nothing but to sleep that day off so you would hopefully be there by the morning. Although it would no longer be his birthday, he wished he could at least get to spend some time together before he had to head out once again.

Before he could completely doze off, however, he felt Yeontan snap up from his sleep and effusively wave his tail from side to side as he ran to the closed door of the bedroom. Letting out a tired groan, Taehyung glanced over at the clock on his nightstand, staring at the number ten on it for a second before he turned the lamp on and fixed his eyes on his excited pup.

“I already fed you,” his voice came out hoarse at the lack of speaking, catching Tan’s attention for a second there before he was back at barking at the door. “Don’t tell me you want to go to the b—”

That’s when the sound of a key making it inside the front door’s lock caught his attention. And, you see, only two people had a key to the apartment. One was his, of course, and the other one, much to his excitement right then, was yours.

Not even having time to catch his breath, he jumped off the bed and opened the bedroom’s door, watching Yeontan sprint down the already illuminated hallway as you had just turned its lights on — a huge smile parting his lips at the sight of you, not being able to hold back a giggle of his at the way you had panicked and closed the door harder than you had intended to, so Tan wouldn’t be able to run out of the apartment.

“Tan-ie bean!” you excitedly greeted the pup first thing as he reached your side.

Struggling to move past your suitcase, you managed to kneel down to pet the cute ball off fluff with one hand as you held the other one as far up as you could, holding a strawberry cupcake with a single candle on it that you had already lit up right before coming in — maybe not your brightest of ideas.

Staring up at your boyfriend, who was still on the other end of the hallway, you smiled brightly and stood up straight as he came closer. “Happ—”

Before you could even finish what you had initially planned to sing and had by then settled for cheerfully chanting instead, Taehyung had already pulled you into his arms — unintentionally blowing out the candle as he had rushed over to you way faster than he’d like to admit.

“I missed you” he mumbled, wrapping his arms tighter around your figure and burying his face in the crook of your neck as he felt his heart at ease.

You smiled sweetly, wrapping your arms around him as well —being careful enough not to stain his designer pyjamas with the cupcake’s icing— and pressing down a small kiss to his shoulder.

“I missed you, too” you cooed, hearing him giggle when you planted a kiss on his neck this time.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were getting on a plane already?”

“Because I thought I would get here before you came back from rehearsal and I’d surprise you. You know, wait for you with dinner and whatnot…” you pouted. “But then of course I had trouble with my luggage and got here way too late. So I got you a cupcake and a candle instead!”

Taehyung giggled at the way you had ever so cheerfully said that last part, pulling slightly away from your body so he could glance at the cupcake in your hand you had just raised up in a victorious way.

“You could’ve just showed up barehanded, said ‘happy birthday’, and I would’ve been the happiest”.

“You interrupted me when I was about to tell you ‘happy birthday’, though” you huffed over dramatically.

Letting out a light laugh, he securely cupped your face in his warm hands and rested his forehead on yours, smiling blissfully as ever at how close he was able to have you right then, at how he was able to feel your warmness in his hands after all those months. “You can say it again now”.

“But you already blew out the candle” you pouted, bringing the treat closer to him so he could see your point.

“I guess this is the moment my wish comes true then”.

“You didn’t even get to make a wish, you idiot” you rolled your eyes.

“Oh, I did” he nodded his head determinedly. “Earlier today. And not to brag about it, but it already became true”.

“Was it perhaps for me to arrive today?” you coyly batted your eyelashes, earning a very visible roll of eyes from him.

“Cocky, aren’t we?”

“I mean,” you shrugged, taking a step back from him and his hold. “I can always go back home and send your actual wish ov—”

“Yah,” he stopped you as you dramatically turned around to pretend to leave and Yeontan followed right after, pulling you back to him by your wrist. “I didn’t spend pretty much my entire birthday wishing for you to get here so you can leave me just like that” his eyes turned softer, yet still held that playful vibe in them. “Besides,” he pulled you closer, this time by your waist. “Funny how you said ‘go back home’ when this is your home now, baby” your heart skipped a beat at his remark, appreciating the way he looked up and puckered his lips as he pretended to fall deep in thought. “Hm… Maybe I misheard”.

You giggled at the way he had copied your overdramatic ways, bringing your free hand up to sweetly caress his cheek. “My bad, love”.

Taehyung smiled, with that boxy smile you fell in love with years ago, and nodded softly to let you know it was alright. “Can I get my birthday kiss now?” he murmured, ever so faintly brushing his longing lips against yours. “I’m kinda dying over here”.

Shaking your head in amusement as you laughed, you bit your lower lip. “Just kiss me already, you dork”.

So he did, not even dreaming of wasting another second before his lips hungrily crashed against yours. He had missed you like crazy, he always did, but right then, as your soft lips were pressing on his and your hand made its way from his cheek to the back of his head, entangling your fingers in his still damp hair, he realised just how bad he had craved your touch, how bad he had craved you.

Having him deepen the kiss, you couldn’t help but take one step back as you had lost your balance — his hand being quick to bring your body right back to press against his, later resting on your lower back to keep you steady as his other hand firmly cupped your cheek.

“Happy birthday” you mumbled against his mouth when you had pulled away to catch your breath, feeling the corners of his lips curve up before he pressed them to yours once more.

“It is now” he hummed, drawing tender circles with his thumb on your chin and not being able to hold back a giggle when it was you the one to steal a kiss from his mouth right then.

Your breath hitched when you felt his hands made their way down your body, letting out a squeal when they grabbed your thighs and picked you up without a warning — your arms wrapping tightly around his neck and legs around his waist as his hands were firmly placed on your ass to keep you from slipping down while he walked the two of you out of the hallway and into the living room, having Yeontan run past you two and go lie on the couch.

“Yah, I just got here and you’re already going for second base?” you teased him with raised eyebrows.

Taehyung shook his head, cockily raising one of his own. “I’ve earned my right to all bases a long time ago, I don’t know what you’re talking about”.

“Don’t get too cocky, Kim Taehyung” you warned him as he sat you down on the edge of the counter, being careful enough not to knock down one of the pictures of the two of you that were neatly displaying on it. “I might revoke all your rights”.

“You wouldn’t” he daringly squinted his eyes. “Not on my birthday”.

You threw your head back, letting out a loud laugh and placing the cupcake down on the counter before you went back to his eye level. “Only under two hours until it’s over, so...”

“You wouldn’t” he repeated confidently.

“What makes you so sure, old man?”

Shaking his head in amusement and deciding not to comment on the taunting name you had just called him, he didn’t even try to hide the smirk that was curving up the corners of his lips as he leaned in. “I just know”.

Not even trying to play it hard anymore, you met his lips in the middle, humming contentedly when he placed his hand behind your neck so he could take control over the kiss he was not quite willing to let go of yet. And neither were you, which is why your eyes remained closed and your lips slightly puckered up —clearly wanting more— when he suddenly pulled away one minute later.

“Okay, now tell me my birthday present!” he demanded.

Still being too stunned by the intoxicating kiss he had just given you, it took you a second to open your eyes after hearing his muffled yet excited words against your lips — eyes locking with his excited ones as his hands unconsciously rested on your thighs.

“Oh, it’s in my bag!” you jumped up once you managed to understand what he had meant. “Let me go get it”.

Although your words were meant for him to move aside so you could get up on your feet and rush over to the forgotten suitcase on the hallway, Taehyung did not move an inch — if anything, tightening the hold of his hands on your thighs to keep you from going anywhere.

“Not that one”.

Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “The cupcake?” you offered, earning a light laugh from him, along with a small shake of his head. “Sex? Because I know I was just threatening with revoking that right, but since it’s still your birthday, I mean...”

Taehyung laughed wholeheartedly, once again shaking his head no as he brought his face closer to yours. “Although I would love that and will take you up on that offer later,” his bold words managed to bring some heat to your cheeks. “That is not what I meant”.

“What did you mean then?”

“Just want you to tell me something...” he hinted, gently caressing your sides. “How long will you be staying, baby?”

You rolled your eyes when it finally hit you what he had meant all along. And you couldn’t help but laugh lightly at how such simple things were the ones that made him the happiest. “Well, considering I only got a one way ticket over here this time,” your heart sped up at the way his smile grew wider at the sound of that. “And that the rest of my stuff will arrive here in a few days… I’d say I’m staying for quite a long, long time”.

“How about forever?” he smiled brightly.

You giggled, tilting your head up in anticipation as you felt him lean in to press his mouth on yours. “I like the sound of that”.

“I love the sound of that” he agreed, pressing another kiss to your smiling lips.

And you truly did, for although you were leaving everything behind, your family, your childhood friends, your culture... it was easy as long as you had him. And even though you knew there would be times homesickness would hit you like a truck, especially when the time came and Taehyung would have to go on tour with his group, you were ready to start your new life here with him. You had already lived here once for a year, after all, the only difference being you now got to live with your long term boyfriend, and, of course, that you wouldn’t have to count down the days until you had to go back home and away from him anymore.

“Everything alright?” he wondered, catching up on the way you had momentarily spaced out.

“Mhm…” you were quick to reassure him with an eager nod of your head. “Now eat your birthday treat before I do” you threatened, grabbing the cupcake that had been lying next to you all along and bringing it up to his face.

Taehyung chuckled, pressing a lingering kiss to your neck that was sweetly followed by another one. “But I have my birthday treat right here…”

Although flustered by both his words and the way his lips kept peppering soft kisses all over the sensitive skin of your neck, you stood your ground. “Pretty sure I’m your girlfriend, but oh well”.

He chuckled once more — before you could react, dipping one of his long fingers on the icing and spreading a good amount of it on your lips. “Now you’re both”.

You didn’t really get to fully laugh at his playful antics before the sound of it was muffled by his mouth sucking on your bottom lip, his fingers holding onto your chin to keep you from pulling away as he deepened the kiss — making sure to remove every last trace of icing on your mouth before he slid his tongue into it.

Breaking the kiss for a brief second for what he thought was to catch your breath before bringing your already swollen lips back to his awaiting ones, he found himself letting his jaw drop when you opened your mouth not to kiss him once more, but to bring the infamous cupcake up to it and loudly bite down on it.

“Yah, that is my strawberry cupcake!” he called you out — although trying to act mad, having a hard time hiding his smile at the way you had just covered your full mouth as you laughed whilst trying to chew right then.

“You weren’t eating it, so…” you shrugged.

Before you could take another bite, however, he grabbed your wrist, quickly moving it up to his mouth instead and shoving the entire baked good into it in just one go.

Petrified after what just happened, you stared at your now empty hand — amazed by the way he had managed not to bite into your fingers with how fast and forceful his mouth had been, before your eyes fixed on your full-mouthed boyfriend as he struggled to chew the whole thing down.

“Mine” he stated, not minding to cover his mouth as he was almost done with it already.

“I tend to forget how big your mouth actually is” you admitted, mindlessly sucking the remains of icing from off your fingers.

Taehyung scoffed, rushing to swallow down so he could properly speak. “You out of all people should know what my mouth can d—”

“You know,” you cut him off before he could pronounce that last letter and bring his cocky point across. “Booking a return plane ticket sounds really tempting right now”.

“Oh, yeah?” he tauntingly raised one of his eyebrows, pulling you closer to the edge of the counter and making you wrap your legs around his waist. “Good thing from now on those return tickets will bring you right back to Seoul”.

That was what made him the happiest. After all those years of buying ticket after ticket, all those years of having to drop you off at the airport so you could go back home, all those years of having to wait for endless months just so you could see each other for a few days, all of that, was over now.

From that night on, this was your home. You, him and Yeontan, and of course, the eventual additions that would be made in a couple of years.

And that was the best part. No matter where you travelled to from now on, you would always just go visit abroad and return right here, back to him — never again being almost about to miss his birthday, for you would both go to sleep and wake up right next to him during all the upcoming ones, just like he had ached you to do every single day ever since you got together four years ago.

#bts #bts imagines #taehyung imagines #kim taehyung #bts fluff #taehyung fluff #kpop #kpop fanfic #bts fanfic #taehyung fanfic #bts scenarios #taehyung scenarios #bts reactions #taehyung reactions #bts x reader #kim taehyung x reader #bts taehyung #taehyung #bts imagine #taehyung imagine

[ptergwen]

sensation

w/c: 4.6k

warnings: some swearing, suggestive tings, and a pretty bad ending

summary: it’s the last night of your world tour, and tom has the perfect way to celebrate

a/n: i know y’all have been waiting for this one! everyone really loved when worlds collide but i ran out of ideas for it lol sorry... anyways my solution was to turn it into a oneshot :D based off the au!! i’m honestly nervous about posting this cuz a lot of you asked for it and i don’t wanna disappoint but i tried my absolute hardest to make it special <3 please enjoy

-

“thank you so much! we love you!” you shout to the audience, laughing breathlessly when they shout back. one of your dancers pulls you into a side hug, you throwing your arm around his neck. “we’re so fucking lucky you chose us, that you came all the way here. i’ve seen some of you back at night one. wow.” your voice gets wobbly, thinking about how loyal your fans are.

the tour started in new york, and they’ve followed you here to london.

tonight is an emotional night for everyone. you’re about to wrap your last show before you continue again in the summer. touring the u.k. has been a dream, and you’re just as thrilled to travel the rest of the world after your break. it’s bittersweet because you’re going to miss the hell out of your crew and the millions of lovely faces you’ve sang to each week. but, you do get to spend your time off with a special someone.

he’s watching you from the sound booth, sending fond smiles and loud cheers your way. thanks to you, tom has been at every show you’ve played in england. he brought harry along this time because he’s also a fan and wanted to see you. well, tom is more than a fan at this point. you’d say he’s more of a boyfriend. you haven’t discussed labels just yet.

your dates have mainly been over facetime, since you live on opposite sides of the world with insane schedules. a heartthrob actor and international popstar is quite the combination. you’ve only seen each other in person a couple of times, the first being pretty recently.

zendaya brought tom along to hang out with you in los angeles. he happened to be there recording some lines for a movie. she saw your concert earlier that night and invited him to crash the dinner plans you’d made, resulting in the best surprise and most fun you’ve ever had. the other time you enjoyed each other’s company was one weekend in paris. that was... something.

besides those two miracles, everything between you and tom happens through a screen. you’ll down bottles of champagne or keep warm under blankets while talking about your days. it’s nice, having someone on the other end who listens and actually hears you. tom gets it. you both do.

finishing your tour in london is convenient because not only will you have tom to comfort you, but you get to stick around for a while. he’s invited you to stay at his place. you can’t wait to meet the other holland’s, his friends, and obviously tessa.

“fuck, i’m gonna cry. i’m already crying,” you announce to the crowd, though they can tell from the tears streaming down your face. more dancers huddle around you and turn your single hug into a group one. you’re laughing and sobbing and holding on tight to everyone. fans bawl their own eyes out, the fact that this is it starting to settle in. the onstage crew even gets choked up, seeing you like this.

tom pouts from where he’s watching. he wishes he could run up there and squeeze you tight, but he’ll have to save that for when you’re done.

“i love you all so much, literally every single one of you in this room,” you tell everyone for the nth time tonight, swiping a perfectly manicured finger under your eyes. “my lighting crew, sound crew, my band, my fearless fucking dancers-“ a hiccup cuts you off. people burst into fits of giggles, which is a much needed tension breaker. you adjust your headset so the mic doesn’t pick up any other bodily noises.

grinning, you rest your arm on a shorter dancer’s shoulder, then go on. “sorry, sorry. i just wanna say, like, three more thank you’s before i get out of here.” there’s a chorus of no’s and encouraging whistles at the mention of you leaving. you blink back more tears to delay the breakdown you’re going to have. “thank you to my friends who always show up for me.”

with a knowing smile, you glance over at tom. “and, thank you to my more than a friend.” he smiles back, both hands held over his heart. harry elbows him in congratulations. more screaming erupts from the crowd as they realize where you’re looking and who you’re looking at. this will be sure to spark some headlines. whatever, you’re used to trending on every possible social media platform by now.

“this is the big one,” you preface, taking in a breath while everyone quiets down again. “thank you to you guys. for trusting me, for caring about what i have to say in any way. i feel your love. i really do, and i hope you feel mine.” your fans yell that they love you back, dancers gently swaying you side to side, emotions on high. there’s one last song, and it’s over.

“this has been the sensation tour, and i’ve been your host. was i good?” you try to lighten the mood, earning a bunch of what sound like positive shrieks. the earpiece you have in makes it hard to tell. “y’all were even better.” exchanging looks with your dancers, you pull out of the hug so you can get to your mark for the finale. they follow your lead. music comes through the speakers.

“i’ll see you again soon, okay? i promise. here’s sensation,” you introduce the song, immediately bursting into more tears. it’s torture to say goodbye. thankfully, you have the most incredible fans on earth, so they sing along with you at the top of their lungs. that includes tom and harry, your ultimate stans.

when the show is over, you run right off stage and over to tom. he’s waiting on the side with actual heart eyes for you. you practically leap into his arms, a hand cradling the back of his head, both his arms draped low and tight around your body.

“you were so amazing up there! absolutely smashed it, darling,” tom breathes out. his face is smushed between your neck and mostly bare chest. “thanks, tom. seriously, thanks for being here tonight and every other.” you smile a tired smile and wind your other arm around his neck. he presses some light you’re welcome kisses to your skin. “mm, thanks for having me. how’s it feel to be done?”

you sigh, fingers running through his curls. “like the biggest relief, and also really sad.” you’re such a mess that you could cry again on the spot. tom senses it and lifts his head up to see if you’re alright. “super depressing,” you surprisingly reiterate without the waterworks. “i know the feeling. you’ll be back soon, though. you said it,” he murmurs, a grin on his lips as they brush against the corner of yours.

you’re about to kiss him properly, then one of your dancers comes up to you. you’d forgotten that there are still stage managers and security everywhere, too. you get completely lost in tom whenever you’re together.

“you killed, babe,” coco greets you, linking your arm in hers. tom takes the hint and lets go of you. he watches on with a smirk. “nah, you murdered,” you send the compliment back and bite your lower lip. “i dunno, i feel like someone murdered me!” there’s coco with her dramatics. she’s genuinely hilarious, your shared sense of humor playing a huge part in your friendship.

she brings your free hand to her heart. you gasp at how fast it’s going. “that shit is really beating, coco. are you, like, okay?” “probably not. it was the freestyle that got me.” coco went a lot harder than usual tonight, since it was her last big dance break for a while. she puffs air from her cheeks and nods to tom. “this your man?”

“yeah, you could say that. i’m tom,” he answers, holding out a hand for her. “coco.” she pulls it like you would in a handshake. you beam at them, one of your best friends and unofficial boyfriend finally meeting. “sounds promising. i approve,” coco mutters to you. bumping your hip into hers playfully, you take one of tom’s hands in both of yours.

“aw, we have your blessing or something? your permission?” you coo and get a push at your shoulder from coco in return. tom chuckles, his thumb running over the back of your hand. “no! i was gonna say you should bring him out back,” coco clarifies, like it was obvious. you’re not sure what she’s on about. “uh, what’s out back?” you question. “an axe?” tom teases.

coco gestures to the nearest exit. “we’re having a little goodbye party in the parking lot. fire pit, snacks. remember?” nope, you’d completely forgotten. the idea first sounded like the perfect way to end your night, so you agreed to go. that was before you were dripping sweat and mentally exhausted. now, all you want to do is unwind with tom and tom only.

the superstar life is one you’re happy to lead, just not at this exact moment.

“i do now.” you muster up your most apologetic smile for coco, tugging on tom’s hand. “i’m sorry, co. i think we’re gonna pass.” her jaw drops. you’re never one to skip these things. “aw, for real? it’s our last night!” tom threads his fingers through yours while you talk. “bro, we’ve been together for almost a whole year,” you laugh out, nuzzling your cheek into tom’s chest. “get sick of me.”

“never,” coco deadpans. she catches you gazing up at tom, relaxing as his arms hug your middle. she’s known you long enough to tell what’s a fling and what’s real love for you. this is something special, and she can’t get in the way of it. she’ll let you navigate this yourself. “ok, just for tonight. you’ll text me?” coco gives you a real smile, raising an eyebrow at tom. he gathers that’s a good thing. he’s in.

“mhm. maybe we can hang out tomorrow,” you agree and let your eyes flutter shut. all that’s keeping you up are tom’s strong arms. “tell everyone i love them.” “i think they know.” coco shakes her head lightheartedly. tom laughs at her. “be good,” she tells him and means it, rubbing your back on her way to the lot. that leaves you and tom alone at last.

custodians are cleaning up the arena, fans are piling out, and you’re clinging to tom while his steady heartbeat grounds you. this is the only after party you need.

“harry’s got the car when you’re ready,” tom mumbles, tucking a piece of damp hair behind your ear. you loop your arms around his torso with a hum. “i was kinda wondering where he went.” “yeah?” he gives you a small smile. “gotta ask what he thought... of the show.” yawns are creeping past your lips, tonight’s events catching up to you.

“i like feedback from the fans, or stans,” you elaborate in your sleepy state. tom uses his fingertips to tap your temple. “what about me? i’m your biggest.” “i’ll, um, follow up with you later.” your words are slurring. “right now, home.” warmth spreads throughout tom’s entire body, his house becoming yours for a bit. “your chariot awaits,” he affirms before helping you to your dressing room.

after collecting your things, you follow tom out to the car. harry is in the driver’s seat, and you two slip into the back. he exchanges a look with his brother through the mirror while you settle on his shoulder. you’re hugging his bicep, his lips pressing to the side of your head.

“thank you for driving,” you speak softly to harry. he starts to pull out of the spot with a nod. “no problem. get to say i was y/n y/l/n’s chauffeur.” tom clicks his tongue even though harry is joking. you snicker at his remark, joking back. “you want the job? better be a five star ride, then.” your banter brings yet another smile to tom’s face. his family is everything to him, so seeing you get along so well means the most.

“right, right. did you have a good time?” harry wonders, twisting to see behind him while he turns around. he also peeks at you snuggled up to tom before facing forward. “great, actually. did you?” you check, the grin clear in your voice. harry goes into full stan mode. “no shit! you were brilliant, y/n. god, every note was just like how you did it the studio.” he’s raving, which is much appreciated by you.

“good answer.” tom shoots his brother a wink. “‘s that what you wanted to hear?” he asks in reference to your conversation earlier. your response is a kiss to his shoulder. “yay. i’m happy you liked it, harry.” he buzzes with excitement, having his favorite artist care what he thinks.

not much is said for the rest of the drive. tom and harry make some hushed conversation about golfing this weekend while you struggle to stay awake. they’re obsessed with that damn sport. it’s honestly nice to see, that tom has something he likes to do when he isn’t shooting hollywood’s biggest movies. your free time will finally give you the chance to discover other hobbies.

you stumble out of the car upon arriving to the boys’ place, a backpack on your shoulders and tom’s hand held tight in yours. you’ve got only a few essentials with you for tonight. the rest is on the tour bus, so you’ll gather it after your hangout with coco. besides, everything you need at the moment is right here.

“home sweet home,” tom announces as harry unlocks the front door. his words bring a tired smile to your face. “finally,” you exhale, keeping your fingers laced with tom’s and following the two of them inside. “i could show you around a bit, give you the grand tour. or-“ tom stops talking, feeling your weight on him. harry huffs at how oblivious his brother is.

“mate, she’s falling over. save it,” he suggests and kicks the door shut lazily. you’re done in. you’ve been having to lean on tom since the show ended. “another time, then,” tom mumbles, securing his arm around your waist. “there is one thing i wanna see.” your voice is low, body curled into tom’s side. he raises an eyebrow. “and that is?” “your room.”

tom takes that in a suggestive way, like he does most things. “we’re getting right to it, are we?” he questions, harry gagging and you nudging his arm with your head. “not like that, dummy. ‘cuz i’m sleepy.” there’s a beat of silence. “ask me again in-“ “wow, look at the time!” harry interrupts so he doesn’t have to hear the details. he’s sure he’ll witness enough after it happens. “off to bed i go! goodnight.”

he rushes to get to his room, yelling out, “great show, y/n!” on the way. “thank you! night!” you call back, tom letting out a sigh. “div of the century,” he says under his breath. “must run in the family,” you playfully retort. that gets you a firm poke at your side. “where’s everyone else?” you glance up at him. there should be two other idiots and a lovely, furry lady running around.

“tuwaine’s gone to the pub, harrison’s filming late, and tess is at mum and dad’s,” tom fills you in, grabbing your arm and draping it around his middle. doing him one better, you hug him with both. you squint in confusion about the last part. “they watch her when i’m out,” tom answers your unspoken question. “ah,” you nod, then deflate ever so slightly. “i wanted to meet her, though. the other boys, too.”

tom smooths the pad of his thumb over your cheek. “you will, darling. it’s only for tonight.” he kisses the same spot reassuringly. “we’ve got loads of time.” “yeah, we do,” you agree, instantly cheering up and letting your head fall onto his chest. “now, where’s your room?” “just upstairs. you need some help getting in?” he’s only playing around, but you accept, tightening your arms around his neck.

“show me the way,” you beam at him. “happy to.” tom wiggles his eyebrows, you jumping up. your legs wrap around his waist, his arms holding you against him. with a satisfied hum, you squish your face into his insanely soft shirt. “what a diva,” tom sarcastically complains while taking you to the staircase. “doesn’t even say please. no manners from this one.”

“you try dancing in six inch heels for two hours,” you shoot back, patting the side of his neck. he moves one hand down to your thigh for a better grip. you’re nearing the top of the stairs. “think i’ll leave that to you,” he decides and squeezes your thigh. “look at me, carrying the whole music industry.” your face easily gets hot and your words turn to murmurs. “shut up. you should listen to other songs.”

you’re on the second floor now, tom going for the first door. he frowns at his rejected compliment. “no, i like yours. they’re my favorite.” “really?” your muffled laugh sounds from his chest. “what was the first thing i ever said to you?” he asks, a toothy grin on him even though you can’t see it. you recall the faithful night he slid into your dms while he carries you into his room.

he’d tripped over his words somehow, the fangirling fool. before that, he tweeted to the whole world that he wanted to see you in concert. it was a huge thing, and people were freaking out about it, even more so when your online interactions became routine. that’s nothing compared to where you are now.

you’re currently living with him and basically dating. possibly, in love. the base of it all really is your music.

“that you love me.” you pause for the ellipses. the corners of your lips turn up. “but, you really meant to say my work.” “both apply.” tom passes that off like it’s a side comment, carefully laying you down on his bed. you look up at him with a curious glint in your eyes. “what does that mean?” his cheeks flush, and he bites back the smile that’s growing. this was supposed to go... differently.

you sit up, breathing out a laugh at tom’s boyish behavior. he’s precious, truly. “you do love me?” those three words will change everything if he says yes. he takes both your hands in his and holds them between you two. you meet his doe eyes. “yeah, y/n/n. i do.” so, you were right. “i love you... and, that wasn’t how i planned on saying it.” signaling for him to elaborate, you tilt your head to the side.

tom sits down next to and faces you before continuing. “it was supposed to be romantic, right?” he rolls his eyes up to the ceiling, annoyed he ruined this. “candlelit dinner, flowers, that sort of thing. seems more fitting for the occasion.” you shift closer to him until your knees are touching. your face is lit up, voice dropped to almost a whisper.

“since when do we do things the way we’re supposed to?” you point out and set your hands on his shoulders. “we’ve gone straight from online dating to me moving in. that’s usually not how it works.” tom chuckles lowly. his own hands find their place on your hips. you’re so good with words. then again, you are a singer. “guess you could say we’re, um, spontaneous,” he agrees, fingers drawing circles on you.

you and tom have explored some of each other’s most intimate places, yet you’ve never shared a moment quite like this. it’s like meeting him for the first time again. he’s too tongue tied to spit out what he wants. you somehow know, anyway. what you cherish most about your relationship is that you two completely and totally understand one another, on every level.

“tom?” you speak quietly, butterflies filling up your body. “hm?” he hums back. this is one of those moments where it all just clicks. “i love you. i really, really love you.” you giggle out of the pure happiness that consumes you, tom joining in your laughter. “i love you, too.” he sounds like he’s said it a million times and he’ll say it a million more. he leans over so his forehead rests on yours. “really, really love you.”

your warm breath hits his face, eyes darting from his own to his lips. “i want you to be more than...” you trail off, unsure of how to phrase it. “more than... more than a friend?” tom pokes fun at what you said during the show. there’s less and less space between you with every second. “you mean, like, a boyfriend?”

“exactly. be my boyfriend,” you all but demand. you’re half asleep and desperate to be able to call him yours already. “bossy, bossy, bossy,” tom chastises, swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. how he goes from being shy and giddy to the cockiest person alive in minutes, you’ll never know. “please?” you throw in to sway him. your hand locks with his, slowly moving it off your face.

you run your tongue over your teeth. “at least kiss me.” “you don’t have to ask,” tom breathes, lips now ghosting over yours. “i was going to.” true to his words, he closes the microscopic gap between you, you pushing forward against him as you kiss back. your first kiss in love. his lips taste like the chapstick he always uses, and he moves them softly.

he places a hand on your knee, you opening your mouth so he can have access to it. instead, a yawn exits. tom pulls back with a breathy laugh. “you must be exhausted, yeah? let’s get you to bed.” he pecks your lips once more. “my girl needs her beauty rest.” that confirms your relationship. you scrunch your nose and grin wide. “and, she’s gonna get some with her boy.”

you’re reminded of how sweaty you are when you catch a whiff. “oof, wait. do you think i can take a shower first?” you grimace, fanning at the air for emphasis. tom uses the tip of his nose to nudge yours. “absolutely. need help in there, too?” he’s not asking in that way, only so nothing happens. the hospital wouldn’t be the most pleasant place to spend your break. plus, he doesn’t want to be without you too long.

“you know what? yeah.”

that’s how you end up intertwined under the hot water, letting it cascade down your back as tom hugs you close to him. you sigh in content and tangle your fingers in his fluffed over curls. you’ve learned that he’s super into having his hair played with. it’s endearing, how he instinctively leans into your touch, eyes closing as you tug on the roots.

he drops his head down to kiss your shoulder, dragging his lips to your collarbone in a way that tickles. they land on one of your breasts next. there isn’t anything sexual about it, only loving. just in case he gets too excited because it’s not uncommon he does, you gently put a finger to his lips. tom takes the hint and lets up. you continue combing through his wet hair while you step out of the water.

“do you ever sing in the shower?” he questions, drawing your naked body in closer to his. “sometimes, yeah. i honestly feel like i sound better there,” you admit and slide your hand down to the nape of his neck. tom’s tongue darts out to lick his lips. “not true. you sound beautiful everywhere, and don’t fight me on this one.” he smirks in satisfaction, you groaning at your loss.

“i really enjoy hearing your voice when it blares through an arena, though,” tom keeps buttering you up. you shake your head and settle both arms around his neck. “man, i just love you so much.” “i love you, sweetheart,” he murmurs back, you switching places so he can give his hair a final rinse. you watch him and his glowing body, admiring the sight.

“what a sensation you are,” you say mostly to yourself, which doesn’t stop him from hearing. “i see what you did there.” he eyes you while you do the same to him. your arms still around his neck pull him back to you. “tommy? do you sing in the shower?” you meant to ask him before, then he started throwing all those compliments at you.

tom scoffs, walking you back so you’re against the wall. “i don’t sing anywhere.” “what?” you gasp and put a hand on his chest. “you’re lying, you have to be. wasn’t billy elliot a musical?” he narrows his eyes at you as he tries to gage where you’re going with this. “that i did a decade ago, and way before puberty. couldn’t sing a word without cracking after that.”

your mouth is left hanging open in shock and disappointment. you bet he has a nice voice, and he’s downplaying it. “y/n,” tom begins, cupping your jaw with his palm. “since we’re living together now, there’s a lot you’re going the learn about me. good things, weird things.” he shrugs casually. “this is one of the weird things.”

“only because you make it weird! come on, let me hear you,” you request and wrap a leg around his waist. you’re giving him a hopeful smile. “god, no. you’ll hate it,” he almost laughs, a hand on your thigh. “i’m literally a singer. how could i hate something i love?” you refute, batting your lashes at him. “especially when someone i love is doing it.” “i love you, too. but, i’m not.” he’s quick to shut you down.

“drop a bar!” you try to coax him, which he already has a comeback for. “you first.” “i can’t. my throat is all scratchy from earlier,” you lie. tom presses his lips into a line, feigning pity. “aw, you know what’ll make you feel better? tea. i’ll go get you some.” he turns to shut the water off, so you grab his shoulders. “no, the steam is working. you can stay.”

“love,” tom addresses you in a warning tone that you can’t take seriously. he can’t either, a giggle escaping him. “my voice is shit. ask anyone, and they’ll tell you.” “i won’t believe them,” you hum, pushing back curls sticking to his forehead. “sounds like you just have stage fright. we can work on that, though.” “how?” he tightens his arm around your middle.

“i’ll bring you on for my next show. we’ll do a little duet.” you’re joking, though that would definitely be interesting to see unfold. “uh, never. what happened to you being tired?” tom cleverly deflects and digs his fingers into your side. you look down in defeat. “i forgot about that.” “yeah, yeah. no, seriously. we should really get to sleep, y/n/n.” he’s back to his sweet, attentive self. “‘s been a long night.”

giving in with a nod, you capture his lips in yet another kiss. tom never gets tired of them, and neither do you. you break it after a few seconds, lips lingering on his as they detach. “carry me?” you ask again, not caring how whiny you sound. tom presses a quick kiss to your forehead. “oh, you’re adorable. of course.”

well, you’ve found something to keep you occupied until the next leg of tour. you’re going to discover the many layers your intriguingly unusual boyfriend has.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland au #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x singer!reader #tom holland request #peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #peter parker x reader

[votederpycausemufins]

All my knowledge is of hermitcraft and the stuff people have written for the Hermit!Tommy Au but I kept having this idea and needed to write it. I also think i got a bit out of character halfway through because it was supposed to be short, but i vibed with it too much so now it’s long and maybe not 100% accurate but it’s still angst followed by fluff.

also @petrichormeraki wanted me to tag them when i posted this.

Tommy had been with the Hermits for a while now. He hadn’t really kept track of when he first arrived, but it had at least been a few months. Otherwise, time was a mess. The Hermits has all but legally adopted him and all the joy that came from them caring for him made time seem to fly by.

Doc was fun to be around because while Tommy was perfectly fine never going back to the SMP, the way the man acted gave Tommy a small bit of familiarity in a good way to his past life.

He likes hanging out with False, mainly for sparring. Never anything deadly, but even if there wasn’t a need for Tommy to constantly look over his shoulder, it was good to keep from getting too rusty.

He doesn’t really hang out with Zedaph as much as Zedaph hangs out with him. Normally the Hermit would come out of the blue with something new for Tommy to try. Flicking levers over and over for something that would normally be as simple as using a furnace just became fun for Tommy, especially if he had energy pent up.

Xisuma is someone Tommy doesn’t run into much, but the fact that he doesn’t is something Tommy finds comfort in. Even as the server admin, the man is very down to Earth. Nothing like Dream ever was.

And then there’s Grian. Tommy got along with all the Hermits fine and of course there were some he preferred over others, but Grian took the cake for him. When he first showed up, Grian was the one to give him a place to stay at his old hobbit hole. Professor Beaks had been left there and still used to the SMP and scared for his life, Tommy hid the pet bird as leverage for his own safety. When Grian found out, he mostly shrugged it off, but the tens of chickens in the hobbit hole the next day was proof of retaliation.

Tommy didn’t understand the underwhelming response at first, but responded in kind, using the eggs from the chickens Grian had left to egg the Hermit’s base. When the builder nearly broke the door to the hobbit hole, Tommy grabbed his axe, ready to fight for his life, but was taken aback by the cheerful look on Grian’s face.

After that, Grian had practically taken Tommy under his wing. He showed Tommy how to build more effectively with cobble, eventually managing to get the teen to have some variety. Grian also brought Tommy along on his various chaotic endeavors, leaving behind chickens, mycelium, and possibly some missing doors.

The two chaotic red wearing Brits got along so well that they sometimes spent entire weeks together. Because of that, Tommy was all too aware that the Hermits participated in MCC as well.

It made sense. A few of the Hermits vaguely recognised him when he showed up in Hermitcraft and a few of them looked familiar to Tommy. That had made him feel a little safer since now these people weren’t complete strangers, but it did complicate things. Every so often, the portal to MCC would open and the Hermits participating would go through. The closest Tommy would get to the portal was just before the Hermits left, occasionally giving a ‘Good luck Grine!’ or something similar to Grian as he went through. But after that Tommy stayed as far away as he could manage.

The portal there led to MCC. And from there, there was a portal that led to the SMP. If Tommy could get to Hermitcraft, others could too. And that idea was terrifying, no matter who it was. Dream was a worst case scenario, but even if it was Tubbo. Tubbo had exiled him, and even if they were still on good terms after that, Tommy could have visited at some other MCC, but he didn’t, and that idea likely wouldn’t go over well, especially since otherwise, people probably thought he was dead and Tommy didn’t care to correct them.

But compared to all those other times, today was very different. Today Tommy wasn’t at the sidelines to help send off the other Hermits, he was one of the ones being sent off. They had taken every precaution. Mumbo had rebuilt his Spookification chamber for Tommy with some alterations, specifically removing the firework method of alteration. The teen was also dressed for being on a team with Grian as the Cyan Creepers, so his familiar red and white shirt was missing. But under Tommy’s costume, he still kept the chain necklace holding his compass. He refused to part with it, though made sure he would be hard to access to keep from glancing, knowing at the championships, it wouldn’t be spinning wildly anymore.

With a comforting pat on the back from Grian, he and the other Hermits walked through the portal. The crowd of people that were on the side almost immediately overwhelmed Tommy, making him think that it was a bad idea all over again, but the sight of the two other team members for the Cyan Creepers reassured them, especially as they lined up for the cameras for some fun and silly times. Then once the games began, he was too focused on winning to think of much else.

Before long, the championships were over. They had come in fifth, which was a bit disappointing at first, but on the other hand, it was still pretty good and kept the spotlight off of him. When dodgebolt began, Tommy stood next to Grian, but with a crowd of people, a good game, and no perfect place to sit, the both of them wandered for a better vantage point.

At one point, Tommy managed to push his way right up to the edge of the viewing ledge. It was the perfect place for a while until the action moved, causing everyone to decide it was the perfect place. Enough people moved nearby that Tommy was worried about falling into the pit below, and he almost did before someone pulled him back.

Tommy was ready to thank whichever Hermit or even other player helped him but the words died in his throat when he faced the person who grabbed him. He knew that mask and neon green color. And there was no reason for him to help Tommy unless-

“I finally found you!” Dream spoke. He raised his voice to be heard over the crowd, but not too much to draw the attention of others. Tommy froze as he definitely heard the words. But there was no way for Dream to know, he didn’t look at all like normal.

“I-I’m sorry.” Tommy tried not to stutter, hoping just the situation of being grabbed would excuse it. “But I don’t think I’m who you’re looking for. I’m new here. Unless you’re greeting me for being new.” It was something he prepared before in his mind after Grian brought up the possibility, but it felt sloppy putting it to use.

“Oh don’t lie Tommy. I know it’s you. I guess you got lost, but it’s okay, you can come back now. I got rid of the exile for you. Aren’t you glad?”

Tommy was glad for the mask that covered Dream’s face. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see Dream’s actual expression. “How did you-” He started to speak, but Dream cut him off, poking Tommy’s chest, right where the compass was.

“Weren’t you paying attention to the teams? Tubbo got put with me. And between games he just happened to glance at his own compass. And wouldn’t you know it, it led me right here.” Dream held up the compass that belonged to Tubbo. It looked damaged, and it was recent. Tubbo likely didn’t want to give the tyrant admin the compass, but lost it to Dream anyway.

“Give that back to Tubbo!” Tommy shouted at Dream, trying to snatch it from him.

“Feisty now, aren’t you? We can take care of that when you come back. I’ll also give it back to him if you come with me.”

Tommy froze. There was no way he was going back, but what could he do? Everyone was focused on dodgebolt, and he didn’t want his appearance to have caused more trouble for Tubbo.

Tommy glanced at the crowd one last time before reluctantly nodding. Dream grabbed his hand in a painful clench and dragged him out of the crowd towards the SMP’s portal to leave. However, just before reaching it, Dream stopped. Tommy, who had been looking back at the crowd, hoping someone would see what was going on, turned towards the portal to see Grian standing in front of it.

“Heya, where do you think you’re going. MCC isn’t over yet. Dodgebolt it still going on.”

Tommy expected Dream to just push past Grian or even give some sort of retort, but the actual reply was shocking. “Uh, n-no, just… have to head back early. Th-the game delays made things run over. A-and we’ve got to get b-back for… something else. Don’t w-want to be late for that.”

Dream’s words made Tommy so shocked he forgot to breathe. Dream was scared, no he was terrified. And he was terrified… of Grian. Tommy looked back at the Hermit who stood unflinching in front of them.

“Really? I could have sworn that you were here when I arrived, and that kid wasn’t. And he definitely came from a different portal. I know since I was keeping my eye out for my teammates. So why’s he going with you?”

“I uh…” Dream struggled, struggled, to give an answer, letting Grian continue. “That’s what I thought. C’mon kid, let’s go back to the crowd. You can stay with me until it’s over then I’ll help you find your portal back.”

And Grian took Tommy away without any retaliation from Dream. Tommy was left in awe. Grian wasn’t even an admin in Hermitcraft but Dream was terrified of him. It was amazing! But at the same time, it made Tommy spiral a bit.

When everyone returned, Grian had made sure Dream left before the Hermits and Tommy did so Dream couldn’t watch Tommy leave. Tommy stuck to False’s side as they walked through the portal, Grian being the last to come through as he continued to act as a guard. When he tried to comfort Tommy after his run-in with Dream, he understood when the teen responded he just wanted to go home. The championships were exhausting enough without a scare like that.

The next day, Tommy hung out with False. And then Zedaph, and then Doc. Grian noticed immediately, but didn’t pay much mind to it. He noticed since Tommy had spent a full week only hanging out with him, so the sudden absence of the boy was noticeable, but it made sense that he would want to hang out with the others.

After that, Grian didn’t pay too much attention to the lack of Tommy until he ran into him while stocking the barge. Tommy had been buying something at the store when Grian flew in. He nearly dropped his diamonds in trying to leave in such a hurry that it finally concerned Grian. The builder started visiting other Hermits Tommy tended to visit and ask about him. No one really noticed much other than Tommy dodging any questions about him possibly going to hang out with Grian.

Grian decided to leave it alone, and he was definitely going to, but after another run in with Tommy, he threw that decision out the window. Grian normally wouldn’t have done this, but after trying multiple times to just talk to Tommy and being unsuccessful, the builder had to essentially corner the teen.

Immediately, Grian regretted it. Tommy was trembling, obviously scared, holding a sword in his hand. He carefully tried to point out that Tommy didn’t need to have his sword out, but instead of just putting it away, Tommy just threw it on the ground, also throwing down his other gear. Grian had heard of Tommy doing this before with the other Hermits, so he immediately recognised what was going on and dived to grab the gear. It scared Tommy more, but Grian wanted to make sure nothing ended up destroyed.

“Tommy, calm down, I just want to talk. Did I do something wrong? I mean, obviously I must have, you look scared out of your mind every time I’m around you. But I can’t think or anything I did and I don’t want this to keep happening. So can I know what’s going on?”

Tommy didn’t speak for a while. He just looked defeated and terrified. Grian called in some of the other Hermits to come help Tommy calm down, though at first it didn’t help. But over time, Tommy finally did stop looking so terrified and they moved to somewhere he would feel less cornered. It took more coaxing after that, but finally, Tommy explained himself.

“He’s scared of you. Dream is… actually scared of you.”

“Yeah, I’ve killed him once or twice. Plus my full name is Lord Grian Dreamslayer, so it’s kind of in the name.” The builder tried to say it as a joke, but it didn’t seem to lighten the mood.”

“He’s the admin and he’s scared of you. And you… I’ve been hanging out with you.”

Grian nodded. “Well yeah, we do fit together well. ...Did he say something at MCC to make you think I didn’t like you?”

Tommy shook his head. “N-No. You’re right, you’re fun to be around. But dream likes… liked messing with me. And tried to train me. And I hang out with you more than I had with him, and I’m more like you. I-If you’re somehow more powerful than him-!” The rest of the words stopped in Tommy’s throat, choking him up. Stress was nearby and gave Tommy a careful hug for comfort, which helped him a little.

Grian waited a little bit for the tension to calm slightly before he spoke. “I don’t know exactly what Dream has done to you. You’ve told us a lot, but you obviously haven’t told us everything, and telling us isn’t the same as experiencing it. But let me tell you that I’m not going to do what he’s done to you. I remember how you were the first day we found you. And I see how you are now- well, how you were a few weeks ago- and I’m happy. Happy because you’ve been happy. You’ve been safe and cared for here and it shows. I don’t want to force you to be anything, I want you to be you. Sure, I’m powerful enough to kill Dream, but I’m not going to use that power on you. I’m only going to use it around you if it’s to keep him away from you.

“And! And! It’s just because of how your server is. Here we can go to the end. We don’t have a set amount of lives. We build massive structures and sell totems for a single diamond each. We fight Withers for fun and make farms with them. We farm just about anything you can think of. And Tommy.” Grian paused, making sure Tommy was paying attention. “You may be from somewhere far off that none of us old Hermits have seen, but now you’re here. And new home or not, that makes you a Hermit too. Sure you can be like me. Or you can be like False or Doc or Scar or Mumbo. But so far, you’ve been pretty you. And that you is a Hermit.”

Tommy took a few moments to process it, but the message seemed to get through to him. With that, Grian stood up with a smile. “Now I get that you probably don’t want to hang around me much right now. It makes sense. Maybe hang out with some other Hermits and learn some new stuff to get your mind off of things. Plus, I also did some talking around looking for you, and got you this.”

Tommy’s eyes practically sparkled as Grian placed down some music discs. He greedily grabbed the treasures and stuffed them in his inventory, looking up just to see Grian flying off. Taking on Grian’s idea, Tommy decided to go with Cleo and try to wrap his head around those armor stands again. While he wasn’t a pro, he did manage to make one scene of the hermits all holding weapons and surrounding an armor stand in lime leather armor. Grian was right. He was a Hermit. And he wasn’t going back. At least, not permanently, he thought, clutching his compass. Maybe, there would even be another Hermit like him.

#hermit!tommy au #hermitcraft #hermitblr #dreamsmp #tommyinnit #grian #mcc #docm77 #falsesymmetry #zedaph #xisuma #dreamwastaken #stressmonster101 #angst and fluff #still not a fan of how dream's persona eminates someone... problematic

[onionsaremeansstuff]

You should have begged me to stay

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader

Gender: Angst & Fluff

Summary: Jensen is never home and you can’t stand this anymore 

I dont own the character or the gif

Beta’d by @chaoticgaysstuff​

Your relationship with your husband, Jensen was something. 

You two have known each other since you were kids. He was pretty much your best friend. You two played together when you were kids and knew that you two would be close forever.  

When you were 9 years old, you declared each other as boyfriends without really knowing what that meant because you both were two innocent children. 

But as it turns out, you both were still boyfriends now that you weren't the innocent child you used to be. 

As years passed, you both loved each other more than you did before. Hugs that you both gave each other when you were children turned into a pretty heated make out session that was behind closed doors. 

When Jensen first told you how he wanted to become an actor, you supported him like you always did. 

"I will never abandon you." Was what you had told him that night. 

If only you knew everything that would happen with him becoming a world famous actor. 

Hollywood wasn't the most acceptable place for LGBTQ people, so you both kept your relationship a secret, but there comes a price to pay when hiding something sometimes. 

With each passing year, Jensen almost always became unavailable to you. You barely spent any time with him anymore. 

Hell, you two only spent a minimum of two months together last year. 

You were very frustrated, especially with that woman being Jensen's beard. 

Now, you didn't have anything against her. You actually liked her, but she took a lot of time that you and Jensen were supposed to be spending together by pretending they were in a relationship. 

And honestly, sometimes you felt that you weren't Jensen's true love. 

---

Jensen would be back today from a trip and you were really excited. It has been so long since you've seen him. You couldn't wait to throw yourself in his huge arms along with having a night where you could talk about everything and nothing. Just like old times. 

And as hours passed, Jensen still hasn't come home yet. 

You've been sending him messages, but they were just left on delivered. He hasn't opened any of them and you were starting to get worried. 

Was his flight delayed? Or did something come up? Was there an  accident?

You paced back and forth, your mind consumed with worry. 

---

When 3 AM came, the front door to the house opened and Jensen entered. You stood up from your spot on the couch, feeling fully awake and ran over to him. As you got closer to him, you immediately knew what he was doing. 

Jensen stunk of alcohol and you noticed a purple mark on his neck. 

What happened to you?" You asked, feigning Innocence. 

"N- Nothing. I was at Jared's place and he had a party." He spoke, voice slightly slurred and you could tell that he was drunk. 

"You know, a phone call or text message wouldn't kill you." You said and he snorted, walking straight to y'all room, completely ignoring you. 

Jensen threw himself on the bed, falling asleep immediately before you could talk to him. 

You sighed and went to sleep in the guest room. The smell of alcohol was essentially too much and you couldn't sleep next to him. 

---

The next morning you prepared  breakfast for you and your husband. 

Although you were still a little hurt because of last night, you knew that it was because Jensen was drunk. So, you decided to make breakfast for him and actually talk to him. 

When breakfast was ready, you went to wake him up as you grabbed some medicine for his hangover. 

But, looks like he wouldn't need it after all, seeing how he wasn't in the room. 

You searched every part of the house but there was no sign of him at all. You took out your phone to call him when a message popped up on his phone. 

“D and I are going to breakfast and then will be spending time in the mountains.  I'll be back next week.” ~Jensen. 

As you read over that message, you let out a humorless laugh. 

You barely spend any time with your husband and when he finally comes home, he decides to spend time with her. You cook nice and he's not here to even eat it. 

And apparently he gave her a nickname, too. 

You loved Jensen from the bottom of your heart, but you couldn't take this anymore. You couldn't take being the only one putting in any effort into this relationship, or if it could even be called that. You couldn't take being the one to text him first only to not receive a response. Couldn't stand being the person who waited for him to come home, only to never really come home. 

You've had enough. 

---

Jensen had texted you that he was coming home in an hour. 

Your bags were packed with all of your clothes and stuff, and placed into your suitcase. 

"This is for your own good, Y/N." You told yourself once again. 

You glanced around your house one more time. So many memories have been here. Happy memories of you and him. They seem like distant memories now. 

The door to the house opened and for the first time, you didn't meet him at the door like you'd usually do. 

Jensen was surprised by this, having expected it. He walked over to you. 

You didn't have the courage to end like this. Maybe he'll wake up and see what he has been putting you through. 

"Hey, I'm gonna go to sleep. In a few hours I'm going to Vancouver." 

You looked at him and managed to mask the hurt and anger that made it's way onto your face. Looks like he still hasn't realized. 

You shook your head, "No your not. We're going to talk right now." 

"Look Y/N I'm tired and-" 

"You always seem to be tired when you're with me, right?" You interrupted him, standing up and looking at him in the eyes, "Always tired and can never have time with me. Can never stay with me." 

Jensen looked at you confused, "What, Y/N? What are you talking about?" 

"I'm talking about our relationship being one huge joke, Jensen." You stated. 

"What do you mean by that?" He asked, not understanding what you are trying to say. 

"You're never at home, Jensen! I always have to be the one to try and make our relationship work and you seem to be looking for an excuse to get away from me. Hell, last year we barely spent two months together!" You snapped. 

Jensen laughed sarcastically before looking at you angrily, "Well, I'm sorry that I have to work. I forgot how selfish you could be. I need time to myself. It's not easy working my ass off to give this life. This rich life." He growled. 

"Oh, well I'm sorry that wanting to spend time with my husband is selfish. And do you really think I care about being rich? I loved you since you had to ask money to buy candy. I never cared about money. I always wanted you and you clearly can't see how unhappy I've been." 

The eyes that once looked at you with love now looked at you with hatred.

Jensen didn't answer for a second, thinking as he looked down at the ground before snorting and looking at you, "If you are so unhappy then why don't you just leave." 

You looked at him with sadness in your eyes. 

That was it. 

Jensen no longer cared about your relationship and he didn't even fight for you. Or even try to make things better between you both. He just gave up. 

Just like that. 

And you felt your heart break. 

"If this is what you want. I'll leave." You stated, trying your best not to cry in front of him. 

You left the room and went to get your bag and from the bedroom, you heard the sound of Jensen's car engine taking off down the road. 

You sighed as you looked around this room looking one last time. 

'Do it for your own good Y/N.' You thought as you walked out of the house. 

---

Seven months have passed since your break up with Jensen and you hadn't been doing well. 

Jensen was someone who was always there for you since you were a kid. Not talking to him was a completely strange and new sensation to you. 

You couldn't help but think about him. 

When you saw something funny or when you had a nightmare you would always call Jensen. 

Sometimes, you'd have your phone in your hand with his contact information, ready to call him. 

'Would he answer me?' You asked yourself. 

You shook your head, "He doesn't care about you. Move on." You muttered. 

Both of your lives went on without one another. 

"You will survive Y/N." You told yourself, "You got this man."

---

You were sitting in the cafe that was across the street from your job. The place was pretty empty and you sat there in a booth with a cup of coffee, enjoying the peaceful silence.  

The place was in complete silence, except for a small TV near your table which was playing something. 

You weren't paying attention to it until you heard the name Jensen Ackles coming on the TV. 

 "The actor, Jensen ackles who is best known for his role as Dean Winchester on the TV show supernatural, posted a video saying that he and Danneel Harris have been in a fake relationship for years." 

Your eyes widened, staring at the TV as you sipped on your coffee.

"Well, there is no reason for him to keep her as his beard anymore. He must have found someone he really loves now." You sighed in exasperation. 

"The actor also stated that this fake relationship has cost him a lot,  especially the relationship with the love of his life." The anchor said but you didn't care.

---

You arrived at your old house after a long and exhausting day of work. 

After your parents died, you refused to sell your old house. Jensen always said  that it didn't make sense since you lived with him. Nowadays, you are grateful for not selling it. 

You threw yourself on the couch and fell asleep quickly.

---

You were woken up later by a knock on the door. 

"Who the fuck could be at the door this late at night?" You pondered, getting up off the couch and walking over to the door. 

You opened the door, not fully awake and your eyes only half open, "What?" 

"Can I talk to you, Y/N?" The sound of Jensen's voice made your eyes open, feeling fully awake at the moment. 

Jensen stood in front of the door, holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. 

You stared at him before slamming the door in his face.

"Y/N, please open the door!" Jensen pleaded and you didn't respond, "I'll climb into your window, or break your door down and you know I can." He threatened and you sighed, opening the door for him. 

Jensen was wearing Dean Winchester's classic smile as he held the flowers out to you. 

"A beautiful thing for a beautiful thing."  You looked at the flowers before looking at him again as you gave him a look that said, 'Just get on with it already.'

"Teenage you would have loved the fact that I gave you flowers." Jensen said as you took the flowers out of his hand. He walked over to sit on the couch. 

"Teenage me believed you cared about me." You spoke up, and placed the flowers on the counter and walked over to him. You stood with your arms crossed as you waited for him to speak. 

Jensen opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. 

If you don't tell me what you came here to tell me, I'll call the cops." You said seriously. 

"I'm sorry." Jensen spoke quickly and you waited for him to continue. 

An awkward silence took over for a few seconds before Jensen coughed. 

"If that's all you have to say, then you can get out of here." You exclaimed, turning away from him. 

"Y/N I'm an idiot, okay?"

You nodded, "Yeah, you are." 

"And I regret what happened that day. I should have asked you to say instead of telling you to leave." 

"You should've but didn't. Close the door on the way out, will ya?" 

"Y/N I-"

"Look Jensen, I don't know what game you are playing, or if your just desperate for sex. Or if the person you were staying with dumped you, but I will not continue to give my all to someone that isn't given back. You can leave." 

"I'm not dating anyone Y/N, and I'm not here for sex." Jensen sighed, "I'm a complete idiot. I was so used to you being there that I was never aware of how much I needed you. "Jensen looked down at the ground as he spoke. 

"Ever since you've been gone, I missed you like crazy and all I wanted was to hear the sound of your voice. I missed having you by my side." 

"When we were together, you never slept at home and didn't even bother to call me, so stop bullshitting me." You shouted, feeling fed up with this crap. 

"And I deeply regret everything that has happened. I was frustrated because I never had time for you anymore and I pushed you away. Not the smartest decision, I know and when you brought it up, I took my anger out on you, though I was angry with myself. When our relationship ended, I thought it was for the best, but i can't live without you!" He explained, tears falling from his eyes. 

He crouched down next to your feet, wrapping his arms around your leg and hugged it tightly. 

"I love you so much, Y/N. I'm such an idiot and you deserve better than me, but I love you so much. I've loved you ever since we were kids, and I promise that if you take me back, I'll drop everything for you. I'll quit acting, won't go to anymore conventions, all of it! I just want my man back." 

Your pants were really wet now because of the tears from Jensen. You knew now that he regretted his decision.

And deep down you knew that Jensen was the one for you. 

You ran your fingers through Jensen's hair which made him look up at you, sniffling a little. 

"You have another chance, but you better not fuck it up again." With that sentence, Jensen stood up and started planting kisses all over your face, "And you don't have to give up your career for me, Jen. You just need to make sure that we spend time with each other, okay?" 

He nodded, shedding a few happy tears. But they weren't sad tears. They were tears of Joy. 

---

~ 6 months later ~

"Hey Karen, can you please give these files to Jenny?" You asked, holding the files out to her as she took them and  nodded her head, "Thanks!" 

Y/N L/N!" Your co-worker, Lily called out, walking into your office as Karen walked out, giving you a hug, "Or should I call you Y/N Ackles now? Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!!" 

You looked at her confused and a little frightened. How did she find out? 

Seeing how confused you look, she showed you her phone and it was pictures that Jensen posted on his instagram. 

It was pictures of you and him. He posted 5 pictures of you guys together. 

The first phone was you and him as babies, playing in the sandbox together which was taken by your mother.

The second one was of you and him in high school. He had a wide smile on his face as he hugged. 

The third one was of you and him cooking together and smiling happily at the camera. 

The fourth one was of you and Jensen the day you got married. 

And the last one was of you lying on his chest. 

The caption said: Today, I would like to show the world my handsome husband and the love of my life, Y/N Ackles! I have known him since we were kids and always had a crush on him. He is the most amazing and lovable person in the world and he's very out of my league. Unfortunately, I fucked up our relationship many times, but he gave me another chance even though I didn't deserve it. I love you Y/N Ackles!! Thanks for always being with me! 

(Btw, I know he's hot, but he's mine!) 

You were shocked to see that he told the world about your relationship and tears started streaming down your face.

"Are you okay, Y/N?" Lily asked, as you gave her back her phone. You didn't answer her question. Instead, you ran to the men's room and took out your phone, calling Jensen.

He picked up the phone after 4 rings.

"Hey Y/N!"

"Jensen, what was that all about?" You questioned.

"Did you not like it?" He asked, worried that you didn't like what he had done.

"I loved it. I loved it alot and I love you, but are you sure you were ready to come out right now? You know how Hollywood is."

"Fuck Hollywood! If they don't want me anymore for loving another man then I don't care. I have you and that's more than enough for me."

You smiled at the words spoken from Jensen and the two of you talked for a little while longer like two teenagers.

Your relationship with Jensen was strange and difficult at times, but you wouldn't trade him for anyone else.

#Jensen Ackles x male reader #Jensen Ackles x reader #male reader #x male reader #Jensen Ackles x male!reader #dean winchester x male reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x male!reader #supernatural x male reader #supernatural x reader

[spencers-renaissance]

I turn and reach for you

Summary: Three months after Hankel, Spencer starts getting terrible nightmares that keep him up at night. He tries desperately to keep his secret until one day when it's all too much to bear anymore. Luckily, Derek Morgan is there to hold him together as he falls apart.

Tags: nightmares, hurt/comfort, ptsd, angst with a happy ending, fluff, literal sleeping together, getting together, post-revelations TW: past non-con drug use mentioned once in passing

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 2.1k

Masterlist // Read on AO3 // Bad Things Happen Bingo

This feels the "Nightmares" square on my Bad Things Happen bingo card, and was written for this prompt by @i-write-whump. Title from a poem by Devon Strang.

After Spencer is kidnapped by Tobias Hankel, he stays with Derek. Nobody on the team wants him to be alone, and he’s always felt the most comfortable with him, so it makes sense. Besides, he’s got the space.

Spencer sometimes wonders whether the team pushed so hard for it because they genuinely believed that, logistically, Derek was the best option, or because they could also see the slow-burning romance simmering under the surface of their relationship. They’ve always had a special friendship, but Spencer can feel the growing tension: the deep and intense looks they share mid-case, the lingering touches on backs and arms, the affection leaking into each ‘pretty boy’ and every ‘Der’.

Perhaps if Hankel never came into the picture they’d already be together — it really had felt like they were on the precipice of something special — but it’s three months later and Spencer’s still sleeping in the spare room; there’s still just as much will they, won’t they lingering in the air between them.

He tries not to mind too much. After all, he’s never had so much free access to the man he’s pined after for years now, and they’re living in each other’s pockets. Almost every waking hour is spent in one another’s company: they cook together, eat together, watch films together, and neither of them are showing any sign of getting sick of it. But every time they’re cooking pasta and Derek says something ridiculous, Spencer wishes he was allowed to lean in and kiss the tip of his nose; every time they sit down to watch something together, he wishes he could burrow into his side and rest his head in the crook of his neck.

(Sometimes, Spencer wishes he could rewind to the weeks immediately after the Hankel incident when Derek would carry him around the flat to keep him off his broken feet; when he could press his face into his shoulder and inhale the scent of complete and utter safety.)

It’s almost torturous, being so close yet so far.

He isn’t quite sure why the nightmares start so late. The nights during the first couple of months are blissfully dreamless, so exhausted from the physical and emotional trauma that sleep was a tantalising escape, but once he’s back in the field, once normal life resumes, everything changes.

The first time he wakes up sweating and panting, heart pounding as he tries to convince himself that he’s no longer in Hankel’s clutches but is safe and sound in Derek’s apartment, he dismisses it as a one-off. He hasn’t had nightmares yet, so why should they start now? He doesn’t go back to sleep that night, too shaken to relax back into the comforting embrace of sleep, too afraid of deception: that he wouldn’t sleep dreamlessly but that the nightmare would be waiting for him once again.

The second time worries him. He gets up this time and gets a glass of water as quietly as possible, leaning with his back against the kitchen counter as he ponders what this could mean for him. The thing is, they’re so incredibly vivid. It really feels like he’s back at the mercy of a three-in-one torturer armed with drugs and belts and guns, genuinely unsure of whether he’ll ever see his family again. He doesn’t go back to sleep this time, either, instead pacing around the living room until Derek wakes up. He lies that he’s only been up for half an hour, and Derek believes him.

The third time solidifies for Spencer the fact that this is a problem. Three is a pattern, everybody knows that, and Spencer spends the rest of the night scouring the internet for studies conducted around delayed trauma responses and discovers the prevalence of delayed-onset PTSD. He’s tempted to contact a professor he met during his third PhD who specialised in the psychology of trauma, but he thinks better of it. Admitting these nightmares would be admitting defeat.

This is something he has to deal with alone.

(He ignores the truth that it’s more fear than anything else that keeps him from telling anyone: fear of being seen as weak, fear of nothing changing, fear of voicing his trauma out loud. It’s easier to pretend it’s about independent agency.)

It doesn’t affect him too much at first. Sure, he’s scared to go to sleep and he sweats so profusely that it soaks through his bedsheets almost every night, but he’s managing. He’s okay. He contributes just as much to their profiles and takes down unsubs without flinching. He dances around Derek like they have done for over a year, and he sits through Dr Who marathons with Penelope just fine. So what if he’s a bit tired? He’s stared down some of America’s Most Wanted and interviewed famous serial killers, he can cope with a little fatigue.

It doesn’t stay that easy for long.

Soon everybody’s asking about the bags under his eyes, his slower reaction times when they visit the gun range, his twitchiness around the team.

“Are you sleeping okay, Spencer?” Penelope asks him one day, brushing a curly lock of hair behind his ears as they sit side by side on the sofa next to a conked out Derek.

He can’t nod his head quick enough. “Yeah! Yes, uh. Yes, Penelope, I’m sleeping fine, I promise,” he says as convincingly as he can, flashing her a smile. He hates lying to her, but he can’t let anyone find out, he just can’t.

Slowly, he begins losing his grip on reality. He’s almost delusional from the sleep deprivation, and he starts seeing Hankel everywhere he goes. He’s stood behind the fridge door, in the foyer of the FBI Headquarters, in the toilets of a local police station, stood right behind the unsub they’re currently trying to talk down, goddamnit.

He’s beyond exhausted, but some nights he still refuses to sleep, too afraid of what awaits him in his dreams, too afraid of the fear he knows he’ll carry into the next day, too afraid of feeling weak again. Helpless. Completely and utterly without agency.

He sits up with his back against the headboard, the main light off but the lamp switched on, scrolling through as many scholarly articles as he can read in a night, drinking cup after cup of steaming black coffee. Most nights he makes it through till morning without sleeping a wink, but sometimes he can’t stop himself from drifting off The nightmares on those nights are the worst.

He isn’t okay and people are starting to notice. Everyone’s walking on eggshells around him right now, but he knows it won’t be long before Penelope organises an intervention that Hotch hosts and Derek directs. The worst part about it is that he feels like a trainwreck waiting to happen. He’s headed straight for complete and utter collapse, and the only possible way to stop the train in its tracks is to reach out and get help, the one thing he can’t get himself to do.

And he isn’t even really sure why.

It all comes to a head on a warm night in July. He’d fallen into bed that night deliberately, actually intending to sleep for once. The bone-deep tiredness had finally caught up to him and he didn’t even care that he was walking straight into the arms of Tobias Hankel, if it meant he got even an iota of refreshing sleep, then it would be worth it.

But he isn’t quite of the same mind when he wakes up at two in the morning like he does almost every night: soaked in sweat with his heart going a million beats per minute, with only one difference. Tonight, he’s crying.

Maybe it’s the emotional turmoil of the last few months catching up to him, or maybe it’s just the severity of this particular dream, but whatever it is, he can’t seem to stop even once he’s awake. Sobs wrack his shoulders as he cries miserably into the pillow, finally letting out the emotions he’s kept bottled up so tightly, and he’s almost wailing after a couple of minutes of anguish.

All he can think as he cries helplessly is how badly he wants Derek. He wants to be wrapped up in his strong and safe embrace, he wants to feel the movement of his soft goatee against his cheek, he wants to inhale the comforting scent of his sleep t-shirts, he wants the warmth and solace that only Derek Morgan can give him, and in that moment, emotionally distraught and so incredibly sleep-deprived, he decides to get it.

He stumbles out of his bedroom and down the hall, stopping once he reaches Derek’s door. He hesitates for only a second before he pushes it open slowly, allowing the light from the lamp they keep switched on in the hallway to gently illuminate the shadows of his bedroom.

“Spencer?” Derek asks groggily, immediately sitting up and wiping his eyes. “What’s wrong? Are you crying?”

At the acknowledgement of his tears, Spencer starts to cry harder, and as embarrassed as he feels, he can’t slow the steady stream of tears rolling down his face as he stands in the doorway like a child in their parents’ room.

“Spence,” Derek says again, gentle and sympathetic, “come here.” He lifts the duvet up and scooches over slightly as if to make room for him in his already spacious king-size bed.

He doesn’t need to be told twice, though, and he stumbles forward, collapsing into bed and wrapping himself around Derek instantly. His arms come up to circle Spencer’s waist, caressing him gently as he holds him close to his body, shushing him quietly.

“It’s okay, Spence,” he murmurs. “I’m here now, alright? We’re gonna fix whatever it is, I promise you. We’ll get through this. You’ll get through this.”

He lets himself cry and cry and cry until his tears are dried up and he’s hiccupping from the force of his sobs. He would feel terrible about the damp spot left on Derek’s t-shirt, but he simply doesn’t have the energy. Instead, he continues to lie there on Derek’s chest, listening to his softly spoken assurances and losing himself in the sensation of Derek’s fingertips caressing the skin of his waist.

After a couple of minutes of silence, interrupted only by the odd hiccup from Spencer’s tired lungs, Derek finally asks the question. “What was that all about, pretty boy?” he asks with a tenderness Spencer isn’t sure he’s ever heard before. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Been having nightmares,” Spencer whispers, keeping his eyes closed against Derek’s imploring gaze.

He feels Derek tense beneath him, his fingers briefly pausing before resuming their comforting patterns on his waist, and a heavy breath escapes his lips. “For how long?”

“Last couple of months,” he mumbles, and somehow another tear manages to escape Spencer’s screwed up eyes.

“Well,” Derek sighs, “I suppose that explains a lot. We’ve been so worried about you, Spencer. We had no idea what was going on but we could all see you withdrawing, and it wasn’t exactly a secret how exhausted you were.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Derek says sadly. “I should’ve pushed harder to figure out what was going on with you. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this all alone.”

“I didn’t know how to tell anyone,” Spencer says, suddenly desperate to explain as he shifts slightly to look Derek in the eye. “I was so scared and I didn’t want anyone to think that I was weak or I couldn’t do my job anymore, and I just didn’t know what to do.”

“I know, Spence,” Derek says soothingly, “but you’ve told me now, haven’t you? And I’m going to do everything I can to get you some help. We’ll fix this, baby. I promise you, I’m going to make sure you’re happy and healthy again if it’s the last thing I do, okay?”

Spencer sniffs a little, wiping tiredly at his eyes as he blinks up at the sincerity on Derek’s face. For the first time in far too long he manages a smile. “Okay.”

Derek runs a hand through his hair before dropping a kiss to the top of his head. “Do you want to sleep here tonight?”

Spencer’s smile widens and he buries his face in Derek’s chest again as his cheeks flush red. “Please.”

Months later, they’ll realise they never officially asked one another to be in an actual, exclusive relationship. Months later, they’ll know instinctively and with absolute certainty that this night was the night that changed everything for them, and exactly one year later, they’ll celebrate their first anniversary on that date.

Tonight, though, they sleep curled up next to one another in Derek’s bed, and although Spencer doesn’t fall into the same dreamless sleep he grew used to immediately after Hankel, for once he isn’t haunted by nightmares, but dreams inflected with hope for what the future holds for them, and he’ll take that over dreamlessness any day.

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @lesbiantodds @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @enbyspencer @reidology @transhanniballecter @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @ @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @reidreids @ropoto @thosecriminalminds (add yourself to my taglist)

#my writing #moreid #derek #spencer #derek morgan #criminal minds #spencer reid #moreid fic #moreid fanfic #moreid fanfiction #cm #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfic #derek morgan/spencer reid #derek morgan x spencer reid #spencer reid/derek morgan #spencer reid x derek morgan #userpenemily

[jakesguitarstring]

...now everything is easy cause of you {gvf blurbs, a little suggestive}

i spent this weekend moving, which i hate, so to make myself feel better... here's some blurbs about moving with each boy 🥲

listen to our house by crosby, stills, nash, and young as you read for good vibes 🌻

jmk -- you wiped sweat from your brow as you looked up into the moving truck and prepared to grab the last box. josh came running out of your new home and shouted that he'd get it. you shook your head and smiled, he'd been working overtime unloading and making sure you didn't lift anything too heavy. honestly you had no problem with manual labor and would've been fully capable, and josh knew that, but it was nice to be taken care of and looked out for. he climbed into the moving van with surprising energy. he was nonstop all day. he walked down the ramp and read the label on the box. "babe, this one says memories." you told him to put it in the living room because it was full of pictures and photo albums and other things you'd kept as momentos of your relationship. you followed him inside and once he set the box down he bounded over to you and pulled you into a kiss. you laughed in surprise and he used the opportunity to deepen the kiss. it would have gone further if the sound of fake gagging from sam didn't interrupt you. "ew. get a room." the two of you turned toward josh's brothers and danny who had all come over to help you move. "technically every room in this house is ours now, so..." josh joked and pulled you in for another kiss. hours later the sun had set and the boys had left, everyone full of pizza and beer, which had been the boys payment for helping with the move. you sat on the floor in your living room and looked around at the empty book shelves, already imaging what they would look like full of your knickknacks and books. but for now you were too exhausted to move. most of the boundless energy josh seemed to have had also depleted as he rested his head in your lap as he laid on his back and you played with his curls. he hummed a melody, his eyes closed. "i can't believe this is ours." he said. you couldn't help the huge smile across your face. you couldn't believe it either. "we get to create a home together." he murmured sleepily. your heart fluttered. you were home.

jtk -- you placed the final plate in the cupboard and looked around your new kitchen. it was perfect... finally. you and jake had moved in a few days ago, but it was just now starting to really feel like a home. the move had been delayed due to several frustrating issues and unfortunately the week you moved, jake had a concert that weekend. so he helped the day of the move and ran off to catch a flight that same evening. but you used the opportunity of him being gone to really put in a lot of work into unpacking and decorating. you knew jake would help and you could have sat on the couch for the whole weekend and he wouldn't have said a thing. but the idea of him coming home to a place that actually felt like home was too irresistible. you mentally went through your checklist to decide which room to focus on next. the bedroom seemed like a good option so you headed upstairs. after turning on some music you set to work. you started with making the bed. you had slept on the couch the last few nights, too exhausted to make the effort of putting the bed together. once that was done you started on the boxes and boxes of clothes. you hummed and sang and danced as you hung and folded clothes, completely in your own world. you never heard the front door open and close nor the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. it wasn't until you heard a familiar chuckle that you jumped and spun around to look at the doorway of the bedroom. jake stood there, leaning on the frame with a smirk. "don't stop on my accord. i was enjoying the show." you wanted to roll your eyes and pretend to be annoyed at him for making fun of your dancing, but you couldn't help how excited you were to see him. so you dropped the shirt you were holding and ran to his arms. he grunted a little when you sprung yourself into him, but he quickly wrapped his arms tightly around you as you both whispered how much you missed one another. after he gave you a kiss he held your face in his hands. "you didn't need to do all of this over the weekend. i was coming home to help." he laughed. you nodded and explained why you'd done it. he looked at you for a long time, a look full of love, and then he kissed you again. "anywhere would feel like home. as long as you're there." he said in between nipping and kissing down your jaw and neck. you moaned in response. he pulled away from you, a devious glint in his eye. "now what do you say we officially christen the house." he mused. and you laughed as he backed you toward the bed.

sfk -- moving was a disaster. you looked around your new living room, piled high with boxes and you felt completely overwhelmed. you kept thinking that there was no way you had this much stuff. and what made it worse, sam had completely disappeared. annoyance boiled under the surface. half of this shit was his and he wasn't even helping. he finally popped his head into the living room with a bright smile. you were ready to start a fight, but he spoke before you could. "come see what I did." you began to protest and told him that there was too much to get done. but he just shook his head with a smile and waltzed over to you and grabbed your hands in his. he kissed your forehead and you nodded. he continued to hold your hands and walked backward down the hall to the room you'd both decided on as 'the study'. "close your eyes." he murmured. you looked up at him, annoyed. and he gave you his sweet smile that you always complied with and you closed your eyes. he pulled you into the room and told you to stay there. you waited as he moved around the room, you heard a light switch turned off and the click of something else being turned on, then the familiar sound of a needle being placed on a record. he told you to open your eyes as your favorite album began to play. he had turned off the ceiling light and strung up your christmas lights up and down the various boxes and random furniture.  the only thing unpacked was the turn table and a few of your vinyls. your eyes finally landed on him. "dance with me." you wrapped your arms around his waist when he pulled you close and you rested your head on his chest. "we've got the rest of our lives to unpack. let's enjoy the small moments." he whispered into your hair and you melted into him.

drw -- it had been a little spontaneous on both of your parts. you'd talked about buying a place together and decided to go to an open house just to look and get an idea of what you wanted. but it ended up being absolutely perfect. the house you both didn't even realized you were dreaming of. you'd placed an offer that day and finally today you'd gotten the keys to your first home with danny. when you had unlocked the door this afternoon, neither one of you could help it as you both took off running through the house. you ran and laughed euphorically to and from each and every room. "we bought a house." he sighed in disbelief that evening as you both laid on the floor of what was to be your bedroom and stared at the ceiling. you giggled and agreed. it was crazy. but it made so much sense for the two of you. you couldn't wait to fill every single inch of the home with life and love and memories. your stomach grumbled and danny looked over to you. "first meal in our house?" he asked and left quickly. you wandered around the house and made mental notes of rooms that needed a fresh coat of paint or any other little changes. when you found yourself in the kitchen, you noticed a candle and a little note from your realtor welcoming you to the house. the door opened just as you finished lighting the candle. danny kicked off his shoes and came into the kitchen with a beautiful smile and, more importantly, hands full of take out from your favorite restaurant. "it's freezing outside." you kissed his cold nose as you took the bags of food from him. as you started to set out the food on the kitchen counter, danny came up behind you and enveloped you into him. he pressed his chest into your back and kissed the back of your neck. you ignored him and opened containers to see what was inside. he placed another kiss on your neck, his hands firm on your hips. you told him the food would get cold and he laughed and gave you one more feather light kiss before pulling away. he helped you carry the food into the living room and you both sat on the floor, the new place had absolutely no furniture yet. you spent the rest of the night eating and laughing and making plans for the new home. and maybe a tiny argument about the color of the walls for the master. but it was quickly resolved. at the end of the night, the two of you stood outside in the driveway and stared up at the house, it felt wrong to be leaving and going back to the apartment, but the house wasn't quiet home yet. but it would be soon and your heart constricted with love and pride at this new adventure.

taglist: @ageofflowerpower

let me know if you'd like to be added to my brand new taglist ✌✌✌

#greta van fleet #greta van fic #greta van fleet blurb #jake kiszka #jake gvf #josh kiszka #josh gvf #danny wagner #danny gvf #sam kiszka #sammy kiszka #sammy gvf #my writing #moving has been crazy but finally getting settled #so ill have more stuff out this weekend

[duskandstarlight]

Haircut (Nessian pregnancy fic snippet - working title)

Notes: Thanks for all being so understanding today about the delay in getting the next chapter of E&L out. The pregnancy fic and chapter 30 were pretty close in votes, but I think we could all do with a little bit of pregnancy Nessian right now... 

Apologies for any typos. And I will aim to get this up in the next few weeks, but E&L takes precedence, as it does for all of my writing :)

Summary: Nesta is heavily pregnant with she and Cassian’s first child. When his brothers suggest delaying their annual trip to the cabin, Nesta encourages him to go, craving some time to herself. When he returns, she’s horrified to discover something has happened to her mate’s hair...

Cassian landed on the winding lane between the cottage gate and the paddock with his usual grace. Those eyes found hers immediately and Nesta’s breath caught in her throat, but for once the disarming grin that blossomed across his face was not the cause.

She did not hear him arrogantly ask if she had missed him. Did not hear him call her sweetheart. His voice had tuned out, a ringing sounding in her ears as Nesta turned hot and cold. She saw her mate’s eyes widen in alarm at the silver mist that sparked unwittingly at her fingertips. Saw him open his mouth to remind her that Madja had told them that under no circumstances was Nesta to expend a large amount of her power during the last months of her pregnancy.

The world tilted as a fierce anger gripped hold of her. Thunder stormed across her features for a fraction of a moment, but then she swept her expression blank. It was the sort of emptiness that always had Cassian panicking.

She took a few steps towards him. It was not as elegant as Nesta would have liked, more like a waddle than anything, but she kept her chin tilted upwards as if she were a vengeful queen rather than a heavily eight month pregnant female.

Cassian did not move away from her. Not once had he feared her magic. It was one of the things that had made her fall even deeper in love with him. He did not balk. Did not cower. Only faced her head on, even as his usually tan skin drained itself of colour.

“What,” Nesta said with the terrifying sort of calm she usually reserved for her enemies, “is that?”

Her voice was slow, deliberate and fucking dangerous. Cassian knew it, too. His amber eyes flared in alarm, but Nesta did not care, because her husband and mate’s beautiful hair—the hair she had missed winding her hands through whilst he purred against her neck—was gone.

“What is what, sweetheart?” Cassian asked lightly, tilting his head at her as if he had forgotten that he had hacked his fucking hair off. He took a hesitant step towards her when he realised she would not speak until she got an explanation, but she stepped away.

Cautiously, he lifted a hand to rub at the back of his neck. At the short, close cropped ebony bristles. “I lost a bet and—”

But Nesta held her hand up to stop him. For once, her husband fell silent. “You lost a bet?”

“I—well, yes, sweetheart, but—”

Nesta raised the palm that was still outstretched.

“And you allowed them to do this to you?” A wild gesticulation with the same hand in the direction of his head. “You allowed your brothers to cut your hair?”

Cassian dared to step towards her. He closed the distance and Nesta tried to push away the scent of pine resin and musk. Of the fresh air that only came from flying at height. The smell she missed more than anything now she was not allowed to fly with him in the skies.

He reached a hand to cup her cheek but she moved away from him at the last moment.

And, Nesta realised with horror, her eyes were swimming with unshed tears.

Stupid fucking pregnancy hormones, she thought angrily as she watched Cassian’s fingers curl on his outstretched hand and fall to his side. She was exhausted and swollen and so fucking pregnant and his hair was gone. The weight of it all hit her in one mighty sweep and she felt the rage build within her.

Cassian’s eyes darted to her hands… to the ethereal mist that eddied around her fingers, clinging up her wrists, until it solidified into a burning whip of fire that coiled like a serpent up her arm.

It must have taken everything in Cassian to not bark at her to calm down. She was not supposed to be letting her fury get the better of her, not whilst she was technically on bedrest. Madja’s instructions had been stern but clear: no major use of magic.

“Sweetheart, please. I missed you. I missed you both. Don’t shut me out. All I’ve wanted since I left was to be with you.”

He sent a sensation to soothe down their bond but Nesta cut it off, slamming down her shields with the viciousness of a guillotine. Cassian reeled as if she had slapped him, but she did not care as she coated their bond in the thickest of ice and for the first time since their mating, completely shut him out.

“Well, you should have thought about that before you lost another bet.”

Tags: @arinbelle @superspiritfestival @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @mylittlebigplanet @biggestwingspan-az @bellsqueen @ekaterinakostrova @bookstantrash @prophecyerised @rainbowcheetah512 @awesomelena555 @wannawriteyouabook @iammissstark @lovelynesta @melphss @nestalytical @darkshadowqueensrule @laylaameer01 @a-trifling-matter @grouchycritic7794 @thalia-2-rose @champanheandluxxury @swankii-art-teacher @princessconsuela02 @lavendergoomsltd @little-diyosa @princessofmerchants-reads @jeakat @sjm-things @imwritingthesewords @nestable @inejbrekkxr @silvernesta @inyourmindeye @amelie775  @iwastoowildinthe70s @helen-the-weirdo @pizzaneverdisappoints @wishfulimaginings @trash-for-nessian @my-fan-side

#acotar #acosf #nessianfic #nessian #nesta x cassian #nestaarcheron #acotarfanfiction #acotarfanfic #cassian #acowar #acomaf

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twelve

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: this took so long bc ive been reading chain of iron and in general agonizing over things i cant control instead of being productive 🥴 that being said, absolutely none of the events in this chapter were planned in my outline, but here we are with something new!

***

December brings more snow and bone chilling weather, to the point where Cassian has to drag Nesta out of bed, either physically or by phone call, to get her to therapy appointments on time. 

She’s in the waiting room one freezing morning when, in her utter boredom, she musters up the nerve to turn to the girl sitting next to her. “What are you in here for?”

The girl blinks her large blue eyes, taking notice of Nesta for the first time. Nesta uses the opportunity to take in her freckle-painted face, a little wan but beautiful. Reddish brown hair hangs around her face and shoulders, creating a thick curtain from the rest of the world, and Nesta’s curiosity piques like she’s just found a shiny new toy.

It probably isn’t right to compare people to toys, but then the girl says, “This isn’t prison, you know.” Her voice is deep, almost sultry— completely at odds from her huddled-in posture and sickened expression. “I didn’t commit a crime to have to be here.”

Is she insulted by Nesta’s question, or is she poking a joke? Nesta decides to play it safe by murmuring, “Sorry, never mind.”

She starts to turn away when the girl says, “We’re trying a new type of trauma therapy today. I had to get here half an hour early because I couldn’t swallow my nerves.”

Nesta might lack many social skills, but she isn’t stupid enough to ask what kind of trauma the girl is being treated for. Instead, she nods casually as if she understands the struggle. “I’ve been coming here for weeks now and I’ve barely discussed shit. That’s mostly on me, but you know…” She actually doesn’t know where she’s going with her train of thought. “It sounds brave to do whatever you're doing,” she states finally. “I don’t think I’ll be able to open up that much about myself, ever.” 

The girl gives Nesta a weird look that she immediately recognizes. Nesta uses it every time she doesn’t know how to respond to someone who takes her by surprise.

The door to Lana’s office clicks open, and the woman herself pokes her head out with a plain smile. “Ready, Nesta?”

Nesta bites down on her frown. She has a feeling today won’t be as easy as her past sessions.

She’s about to leave without another glance at the girl beside her when that low voice speaks up. “I’m Gwyn.”

Nesta looks back at her as she gets up from her chair, and says the first reply that comes to mind: “Good to know.”

***

Nesta is contemplative hours after she gets back from her therapy session, bundled up in her bed with a coloring book. The repetitive motion of filling in the mandala drawing lets her mind wander, picking up and dropping different thoughts like she’s inspecting stones. 

She keeps her wrist light as she colors in with red. She finally said Tomas’s name in therapy today, though the action left a slimy feeling in Nesta’s stomach that lingers even now. She also spoke about her sisters, which somehow ended up leading to a discussion of her uterus. 

“How have you been dealing with the endometriosis news?”

Nesta shrugged. “I’m getting treated, and my last period was more bearable than usual—”

“I mean mentally, how are you doing? With how your condition could affect your future?”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. “Affect me how?”

“Have you never considered the impact it could have on your ability to bear children?”

“Not everything in life is about bearing children, you know.”

“We’re humans. It’s definitely something to consider.”

“Not for me. I’ve never wanted kids.” A mistruth at best. “I don’t care what endo does or doesn’t do to me on those grounds.”

In a way, Nesta told herself, the health risks were actually for the best. If she ever did, by some stupid loss of sanity, try to have children, then her body would act as a safety net from her decisions.

Lana only said, “You’ll never know how much you care or don’t care until you talk out your feelings.”

“Then I guess we’ll never know.”

Nesta lets the memory of that conversation drop like a stone on a shore. That’s not something she has to face for a good long while. No, right now she has to face her past. 

Her sisters, and her ex, and even her father— 

I wonder if I came off too strong with Gwyn today. 

Her hand stops drawing, and she switches out her red marker for an orange one. This thought she doesn’t mind inspecting for a little longer: she and Gwyn ended up leaving their sessions at the same time, which meant they were forced into stilted conversation on the way down to the parking lot. 

Not forced, Nesta self-corrects. She willingly initiated a conversation, and it didn’t go terribly. She wonders if making friends in therapy waiting rooms is a real thing.

Her phone vibrates beside her, breaking her hours-long mental bubble. Blinking dazedly, she answers the phone call.

“How are you?” is the first thing Cassian says to her. He makes sure to ask her that at least twice a day, like a gauging of her temperature. It makes Nesta wonder what she’s ever done in her life to call for such… attention to her well-being. 

“I’m good,” she answers honestly. “My head’s a little loud right now, but I don’t mind it.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No, I’d rather hear you talk.” She slumps back against her pillows, coloring book forgotten. “What’s up?”

“Ah...” Cassian sounds hesitant for the first time since their relationship started. “It’s just that I haven’t gotten my Christmas decorations up yet, and I was going to ask if you wanted to help.”

Nesta takes a moment to absorb his words. “It’s December fifth,” she says.

“Yeah?”

“You just seem like somebody who does their decorations the day after Thanksgiving.”

“Well, this year is a little different, with you moving out and being busy with school…” He pauses. “I was waiting to do it with you.”

When she doesn’t reply, Cassian adds, “I don’t even know if you care about Christmas. I know you and your family sort of ignored holidays. It’s fine if you don’t want to—”

“I’ll be over right now,” Nesta blurts. 

Half an hour later, Cassian swings open his door with a smug grin on his face; a vast difference from the stammering hesitance he displayed over the phone earlier. Nesta’s own lips want to pull up into a smile just at the sight of him, but she holds back and narrows her eyes instead. “What’s got you so worked up?” she questions as she steps into the warmth of the cabin and out of the freezing cold.

“The way you ran over here as soon as I asked.” He looks her up and down, still amused. “You didn’t even bother to change, did you?”

It’s true: she’s in the same sweatpants and long sleeved tee she wore around home, and her socked feet are shoved into slippers. 

“Get that smirk off your face.” Nesta flicks his nose before tossing her coat off. “If this is a competition about who’s got a bigger puppy-crush for whom, you already won when you delayed putting up your Christmas decorations for me.”

“Fair enough,” he grins. The words send an unexpected pang through Nesta, because it’s partly true, isn’t it? He cares more openly for her than she does for him. 

She looks away in guilt, not knowing how to fix the imbalance. Her eyes land on the living room coffee table, where their half-finished jigsaw puzzle sits. It’s been stored under the couch for the past few weeks, forgotten by Nesta and Cassian alike as they moved on with their lives, but now it’s sitting out again.

“Have you been working on the puzzle without me?” She raises an inquisitive brow, about to feel— hurt.

“Never,” Cassian promises, saving her from that irrational hurt. “I just brought it out because I figured we should get to finishing it one day.”

She pads over to the table, picking up a puzzle piece and turning it over in her hand. “I don’t know if you remember, but we had a terrible time working on this,” she scoffs lightly.

“Oh, I remember,” he says, coming up behind her and stealing the piece from her grasp. “I think it’s safe to say those evenings were the worst fights we’ll ever have together.”

Nesta leans back against Cassian’s chest and hums. “It made us a stronger couple, don’t you think?” She turns her head up and back to meet Cassian’s eyes, finding that he’s already looking down at her.

Hypnotized, she leans into his warmth. She only manages to land the smallest kiss against his lips when his hand squeezes her ass cheek. “You’re here for a job, remember?” He taps her butt before pulling away, gesturing to the Christmas tree in the corner of the living area with his chin. It stands bare. “You do tinsel, I’ll do lights.”

Tinsel is harder to work with than Nesta remembers. She only manages to get half the tree done before plopping onto the Persian rug, exhausted and covered in silvery material. She doesn’t mind laying there while Cassian continues working; it’s her revenge for when he napped on her bed while she moved in.

“You know the stair railings still need to be wreathed, Archeron.”

Nesta declines to respond, tilting her head on the carpet for a better view of her boyfriend’s ass instead. “All this decorating,” she starts. “Is it just for you?”

Cassian turns to her, surprised. “Well…”

She pushes up onto her elbows, catching her mistake. “Are we doing Christmas together? Or are your friends coming over?” She hasn’t bothered to celebrate Christmas in years now, and she doesn’t care much what Cassian’s plans are either way.

“I was hoping for both?” He sounds hesitant. “Christmas Eve is all the way over in Velaris, but I was thinking we could go together, open some presents, and come back and spend Christmas here.”

Nesta purses her lips. She doesn’t actually hate that plan. Both Feyre and Elain have been pestering her with the annual texts asking her to visit for Christmas, and for once, she feels like responding to them. The invitation is more of a formality than an actual request at this point; she doubts her sisters want her there after years of rejections, but… what’s the harm?

“Is that a yes?” Cassian asks at her unreadable face.

“Yes,” she states unflinchingly. She refuses to overthink the possible consequences of this choice and chooses to focus on the broad grin overtaking Cassian’s face. “Really?” he says.

“But there has to be rules.” Nesta sits up fully now. “No one can know we’re together, no matter how much you trust or love them.”

“We already agreed to that, baby.”

Yes, but Nesta knows the secret weighs on him heavier than he shows— even if he agrees with her that it's for the best. “It’ll be different when we’re together in the same room as everyone else,” she says. Cassian wears his beating heart on his sleeve, and she doesn’t think he’s ever had to hide it before.

“You’ll also be different,” she adds. “It’s a huge change of pace.”

Cassian drops the remaining strand of lights and smiles confusedly down at her. “What do you mean, I’ll be different?” He sits across from her, before the blazing fire. 

“You know how you get around your friends.” Nesta shrugs without a thought. “Like your personality readjusts to mirror the people around you. I used to find it a mix of sad and adorable, like a neglected puppy desperate for love, but now I— okay, I still feel the same way.” She waves a hand in a dismissive gesture.

By the look on Cassian’s face, he does not find her words so easily dismissed. 

Coldness curdles in the pit of Nesta’s stomach, the realization that she’s said something wrong. She can’t fix it until she knows where she fucked up, though.

“Is that what you think of me?” Cassian finally says lowly. His usually expressive mouth is drawn tight and narrow. 

“Um… What would you rather I think of you?”

His eyes widen in disbelief. “Seriously, Nesta?”

Nesta’s back stiffens, refusing to cower. “I only described what I’ve observed in the past.”

“And what you observed was a desperate puppy?” His voice is cold in a way she’s never heard before.

Okay, she’s starting to see how that might be offensive. She forges onward, “Tell me what you think about yourself in the presence of your family, then.” It’s a private victory that she says family instead of clown circus. But she’s not trying to turn this into a fight.

Cassian is silent, but his stare continues to rage at her.

“Tell me,” Nesta repeats.

His hands curl into fists on the rug. “I think I’m empathetic, easy to talk to, and easier to be around. Is it a problem if I’m likable?” Unlike you are the unsaid words.

Nesta inspects the space between them like it’s a chessboard. “And what part of yourself are you giving up to be so likable, Cassian?” she says quietly.

“Nothing.”

Nesta disagrees, if only because she’s been watching him out of the corner of her eye for years. “I think you base your personality off of those you love, and you lose a little bit of your true self every time you put others’ needs before your own.” 

She shuts her mouth, not having expected such honesty to come out of it. Cassian is taken aback, too, she can tell.

“And I guess it’s natural that you’d see all of that as a bad thing, considering your history of being closed off and self-serving to a fault,” he fires back with the flatness Nesta utilizes so often.

One for one. Fair enough. “We’re both right then,” Nesta says. “You work for your best friend because you have no ambition beyond serving your family, and I have no such family because I can’t bring myself to care about those things. Are we even now?”

Cassian furrows his brows, those defensive walls melting away as he realizes she’s completely serious. “What? No, Nes—” He shakes his head. “Okay, so maybe you’re right about me. Maybe I agree with you a little bit, but… If we see flaws in each other, then we should be working to overcome them instead of weaponizing them.”

Now Nesta’s the one shaking her head, quickly lifting a hand to stop him. “Relax there, sweetheart. I have no expectations from you or myself to go on some self-improvement journey now that we’re together. Talking about my feelings with a professional every week is hard enough.” Yes, agreeing to go to Feyre’s Christmas party is improvement. Slow, barely there improvement, but enough to wear her out for the rest of the month. For Nesta to fully let people into her life, to treat them as lovingly as she treats Cassian— that’s a long way away. She can’t envision it, doesn’t even know if she wants it.

Cassian must understand some of what she’s thinking, because he nods and backs off. He gets back up and returns to stringing lights, tossing a handful of tinsel at Nesta as if to say Get back to work. 

She stands and obeys, thinking their not-argument is officially over when Cassian says, “You’re wrong about one thing.”

She looks up from where she threads tinsel through fir leaves. He doesn’t take his eyes off his work as he says, “You do have a family. And deep, deep down, you care about them as much as I care about mine.”

***

Nesta catches Emerie’s eye as the dark-haired beauty walks into the pub. Raising a hand and waving, she gestures Emerie over to the booth she’s sitting in. 

“Look what I found,” Nesta says with a hint of pride, pointing to the redhead sitting beside her. “A third girl for girl’s night!”

“I was kidnapped,” Gwyn speaks up. “Jumped on the way to my car.” She’s out of her usual hoodie and in a tight-fitting blouse, looking stunning even while seeming out of place in the dim bar.

“She came here consensually,” Nesta retorts. “Emerie, this is Gwyn. We met at therapy.”

Gwyn offers Emerie an awkward smile.

Emerie slides into the booth across from them with raised brows. She looks between Nesta and the new girl and back again. “You invited her here? All by yourself?” she asks.

Nesta nods firmly.

Emerie breaks into a wide grin and reaches over the table to grab Nesta’s hand. “I’m so proud of you!” If Emerie were anyone else, she’d be squealing in excitement, but Emerie does not squeal.

Nesta waves off her friend’s praise, though a part of her wants to beam at it, too.

Gwyn glances between the two of them with slight amusement. “I mean, it’s not that impressive,” she says. “She came on a bit too strong, probably a five out of ten on the asking-someone-out scale.”

“‘A bit too strong’ is all you’re gonna get with Nesta,” Emerie says, lifting her hand to order drinks. “She’s all-or-nothing, and most people would pray she doesn’t give them her nothing.”

Nesta doesn’t know if that’s a compliment, but she supposes there are worse things that could be said about her.

“So, Gwyn, what do you do?” Emerie leans forward. “All our friends are law students and it’s starting to get boring.”

Gwyn goes off about her librarian job as Nesta orders their drinks, and Emerie rests her chin in her hand and listens eagerly. Christmas music plays softly in the background and snow flurries gently outside. Nesta thinks she can’t be doing that bad in life, if she’s managed to carve out this little slice of happiness for herself.

***

a/n: i promise shit actually happens next chapter! we're getting christmas with nessian and the ic in the same room for the first time

taglist: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson

#nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #ncssianwrites #a favor #nessian fic

[hoodharlow]

At the Top of Cherry Hill

El Novio Quarantine Edition: Part 4

AN: Here’s Part 5! Sorry for the delay, the past few days I was going through it, but now I'm better <333 Hope you enjoy this. Thank you at @tekweela for the Cal picture ilysm

Requested? No

Warnings: almost smut, the consequences of not using any sort of contraception or birth control, and an angsty ending :)

Claudia huffed and rolled her eyes at Calum before she took the sunscreen he offered her. She angrily rubbed some all over her face. She just couldn't believe he and Medelyn would set her and Danny up like this. She barely tolerated him and now she was forced to walk five miles with him under the blazing sun.

Ever since the baby shower they haven’t talked. When the stay at home orders became mandatory, they moved back to Diego and Soni’s house. They agreed to not talk about the baby shower incident until they were ready to have an actual conversation. The three months they spent at their parents’ house were awkward, but luckily for them, their parents didn’t pick up on it. Though their older sibling did.

On Junior’s day off from the restaurant he went over to their parents’ house and instantly noticed the twins were in a fight. In his twenty one years of being their older sibling, he always knew when they were in a fight. He called them to the yard and lectured them, trying his best to figure out why they were arguing. Claudia made up some reason because if he knew the real reason he would have murdered both Danny and Paco.

Calum got out of the car and motioned Claudia to do the same. She grabbed her mini Prada backpack from the back seat. It was a gift from Calum after they watched 10 Things I Hate About You on loop for a week, and Claudia always acted out the part where Chastity and Bianca talked about the differences between like and love.

She put on her mask and awkwardly tugged her bike shorts by her inner thighs. One of the reasons why she hated the summer was the awkward tugging between her thighs wherever she would wear shorts or rompers. She tugged her sport's bra and handed the sunscreen to Calum.

"Can you get my back?" She asked him sweetly.

"Don't start anything." He warned her

He tapped the bottle on his hand to get the last of it. "Did we add sunscreen to your list?"

"No," Claudia shook her head. She bent down, pressing her ass to Calum's crotch so she could get her phone from her backpack. She pushed herself a little more rougher when she got up with her phone. "Let me add it."

After getting Duke from the back, Calum tugged Claudia towards the black Ford 150. Danny had his back to them as he changed Sebastian's diaper. Medelyn waved to them as she fixed the stroller.

"I didn't think he knew how to change a diaper." Claudia mumbled to Calum.

"Claudia," He warned.

"I'm just saying that he spends so much time in the shop with Beatriz Hernandez—"

"What the fuck is Beatriz doing in your shop?" Medelyn asked Danny as she handed Sebastian to Calum.

He gave Claudia a glare. "Why do you always have to make me look bad? What does the person I hired as the receptionist of my shop have to do with me changing diapers? Nothing. No más quieres abrir el pinche osico Claudia." Danny turned to Medelyn. "I didn't know who Beatriz was until esta came in to get her tattoo and told me. I can't just fire her because of some shit that went down in high school."

After a few awkward moments of silence, Medelyn spoke up. "I kinda got a headache. Maybe we should do this another time."

"I agree." Calum nodded.

Danny collapsed the stroller and placed it in the back of the cargo bed. He whistled at Panchito who was with Claudia and Duke and helped him up. He secured him and went in the truck.

Calum helped Medelyn with Sebastian and went up to where Danny was sitting and talked briefly. He nodded and patted the door. He scratched behind Panchito's ears before going back to Claudia.

"It wasn't even five minutes, Claudia." He said, sitting on the picnic table near them. He pulled off his cap and brushed his hair with his fingers. "Do you know what I would do to have Mali living twenty minutes away from me?"

"Cal…"

"Let's just go home Claudia." He said defeatedly. He took Duke's leash from her and went to the car.

He let Duke sniff around while Claudia catched up.

Calum didn't mean to make her feel bad, but he was exhausted. They didn't see how lucky they were to be so close. They weren't separated by an entire country and an ocean like him and Mali. The only thing that kept the twins apart were their massive egos.

Duke halted and looked behind him. His ears perked up, alert of his surroundings. He tugged Calum to the opposite end and barked.

Calum heard a soft whimper. He cautiously let Duke approach the whimpering sounds.

"Claudia, can you help?" Calum asked her when they reached the sounds.

"Yeah." She took his hand and crawled to where Duke was.

There was a small dalmatian puppy curled up under a rock that provided some sort of shelter. Its bones slightly poked through as it shivered.

"Here," Calum said, handing her his shirt.

Claudia set it on the ground and reached for a snack in her backpack. Cursing that she only has cherries, she pitted the seed of one of them and offered it to the pup. It hesitated and ate it. It ate a few more and allowed Claudia to place it on the shirt.

She wrapped it up and picked it up. She hummed quietly hoping the puppy would relax.

"It's okay," Claudia said softly. She rubbed its head.

"Let's head back. We can take her to Duke's vet. They have walk-ins on Saturdays." Calum said.

Claudia kept the puppy on her lap while Calum drove them to the vet. Duke protested once recognizing the vet's logo.

"It's okay mi vida." Claudia told him quietly. "We're gonna go see that your new friend is okay. Te quedas con Cal, va?"

Duke laid back on his seat. Calum helped Claudia grab her things and her mask. He opened the door for her and slid back in the car with Duke.

An hour or so passed when Calum’s phone began to buzz. He lifted it from the cupholder and answered it once seeing it was Claudia.

“What happened?” He asked.

“Can we keep her? Please? The vet tech said that she's about ten weeks old. Then they scanned her in case she was chipped and nothing popped up. They are bathing her and gonna give her all of her 8 week shots.” Claudia explained. “Duquito didn't try to fight her when we found her. She's just so precious. They were gonna take her to a shelter.”

“She’s going to be your responsibility. I’m not picking up her shit.” He said in a tone that reminded Claudia over dad when her and Danny asked for a dog.

“I pinky swear...what does Duke think?”

“Let me ask him.” Calum put Claudia on speaker and turned to Duke. “Do you want the puppy to stay with us?”

Duke lifted his head and yipped excitedly.

“Yay!” Claudia quietly squealed. “We’ll see you in a bit. Love you guys.”

Another half hour passed when Claudia and the puppy came out of the vet. The dalmatian looked nothing like the one they found on the hiking trail. It was a complete 180.

"So this is Cherry," She said, introducing Calum and Duke to the puppy.

Duke pushed himself onto the center console and sniffed Cherry. He happily yipped at her. He curled up and laid back in his spot.

Calum stretched out his hand to her. She nudged his hand and sniffed it. She licked his hand.

"You should have named her apple or apricot. That way we could have been ACDC." Calum joked as pulled into the street.

Claudia kissed the top of Cherry's head and gave Calum a pointed look. "In my defense I was going to pack some apple slices, but you rushed me."

***

Claudia gently knocked on their bedroom door and poked her head in. She cleared her throat. In part to get Calum's attention and to muffle her moan. Something about Calum shirtless in only black pants and that damn belt with the big silver buckle sent her spiraling. All she could think of dropping to her knees and letting him have his way with her mouth.

"Everything alright?" He asked her as he placed some shirts in his suitcase.

"Just letting you know dinner will be ready in five." She said, eyeing his ass through the mirror.

"Is that all?" He asked, knowing that look she had.

"Yeah." Claudia closed the door and went back to the kitchen.

Calum was just making sure his pants and favorite belt still fit. He had most of his clothes packed, save for his undergarments. He pocketed his phone and went downstairs.

He poked his head in the living room and saw the two dogs peacefully napping on their beds. His mind wandered to when he and Claudia had kids and he was checking in on them, sleeping without a worry in the world like Duke and Cherry.

Calum and Claudia haven't brought up the topic of starting a family in almost two months. Truthfully they only talked about it once in the driveway of her parents' home after they took her nephew to get stitches. haven't brought it up since then.

"They are literal angels." Claudia whispered, bringing Calum back from his thoughts.

"Yeah." He agreed. He pulled her close to him.

"Are you still mad from earlier? You know, me not knowing when to talk and ruining our hike." She quietly asked.

"I wasn't mad. I was in a weird headspace. I miss Mali and the fact that you have Danny so close to you and you both choose to not talk about what happened at the baby shower made me slightly disappointed, I guess. I know he hurt you with what he said and his actions, but at the end of the day he's your brother." He shrugged. "I know it's not my place to tell you how to work through your feelings and it's up to you to figure out what and who are best for you."

"You're right… I'm sorry for being an inconsiderate dumbass and ruining our hike."

"Apology accepted." He said, kissing the top of her head.

"Speaking of knowing who and what are best for me...you and this belt are currently what's best for me."

"I figured when you were eye-fucking me earlier."

Calum pulled Claudia to the kitchen so they could have more privacy. He leaned down and captured her lips. It didn't take long for them to deepen the kiss.

“Let me turn off the espagueti verde.” Claudia mumbled, pulling away from his lips. She leaned over and turned off the heat. She smiled and took off her shirt. “Where were we?”

“I think you were going to drop your panties and let me bend you over the counter." He said.

"That sounds about right." Claudia nodded. "But I'd prefer it if you took them off."

"That works too." He smiled.

He caged Claudia in, pressing his growing hard on as he leaned down to kiss her. Calum pulled down the silk camisole and exposed her breasts. With one hand he toyed with her breasts as his mouth descended down to her jaw. He gently nipped and sucked, leaving love bites around her neck. He continued his journey down, showing love to her small tattoos and until he reached her panties.

Calum kissed her 'wildflower' tattoo and pulled down her panties along with her camisole. Wordlessly he placed one of her legs over his shoulder. He sponged kisses all over the inside of her thighs, making Claudia grow impatient.

"Cal," she whimpered.

One of her hands was already gripping his curls. Claudia unsubtly bucked her hips for some relief, but she wasn't getting any of his.

"Turn around." Calum said, dropping her leg and getting up from the floor.

"I wanted your mouth." She pouted before she turned around.

"I know." he said, kissing her shoulder. "You'll get it in a bit."

Claudia rolled her eyes and bent at the waist, jutting her hips back and gripping the counter. Calum stifled a laugh and pushed her further up the counter, so they were at the same level.

"Tell me again why you have a tall counter." Claudia asked,lightly kicking the air.

"Tell me again why you're short," he retorted.

"Excuse you, I'm 5'6."

"On a good day, you're normally 5'5, Claudia." He said, in the same tone she said it when someone asked her how tall she is.

Claudia scoffed and looked back at him. "Do you wanna get laid or what?"

"I'm joking," he said, kissing her. "I'm gonna get a condom."

Claudia watched him pull up his pants and take his car keys. He had an extra stash of condoms in the glove compartment.

Coincidentally, Claudia had run out of birth control at the same time Calum told her that he was planning on going to London to work with Mali on her album. He was leaving in three weeks.

Claudia didn't see the point of getting her ten week supply. He was going to be gone for two months, and her pills were specifically programmed to be taken at the time she bought them. If she waited to take them when Calum came back they wouldn't be effective.

"You didn’t buy any when you went to Target right?" he said, coming into the kitchen.

"No. Are we out?" she said as she pulled herself up so she sat on the counter. She reached for one of their decorative dish towels and covered herself.

"Yeah." he pushed back his curls and leaned against the counter. "How do we finish a 36 pack so fast?"

"Considering the amount of quickies we had in your car while we were at my parents' house." She shrugged.

"I bought that pack about two weeks ago after Ashton did his album shoot here." He deadpanned.

"Oh," Claudia giggled shyly.

She leaned forward and pulled him to her lips. She wrapped her legs around his waist and deepened the kiss. She let Calum's hands wander all over her body. Claudia slowly reached down and pumped his cock.

"Fuck," Calum groaned. He leaned his forehead against hers and watched her hand work on him.

"Cal I need you in me." Claudia sighed.

"We don't have any condoms." He reminded her, kissing down her neck.

"I know… just this one time?"

Calum pulled away to make sure she was okay with what they were going to do. "Just this one time."

***

Claudia checked her calendar once more, hoping the date wasn’t off. Her period was about six weeks late. She was supposed to get it the week Calum left for London. She didn’t think much when it didn’t show up. Her period was usually late when she was stressed about something. Calum traveling across the country and Atlantic Ocean in the middle of a global pandemic was something she worried about.

Six weeks later and nothing.

She chewed on the loose skin around her fingernails as she waited for the timer on her phone to go off. Annoyed that in the ten minutes she waited only an actual minute passed. She got up and went to the kitchen.

Cherry and Duke lifted their heads from the couch as she passed them. Cherry got off and followed her. She sat in front of Claudia’s stool and waited for her to get her snack. Claudia rolled her eyes and tossed her a baked treat. Duke came in seconds later and asked for one as well.

Claudia grabbed a bowl of fresh kumquats from Calum’s tree and began taking out the juice. Weirdly enough the bittersweet flavor helped her with morning sickness. If anyone saw her, they’d be confused as fuck seeing her eat kumquats. Everyone and their mother knew she detested them and would do the most if she was near them. The same thing with pickles.

She knew something was up when she went out to get lunch with KayKay and Sierra a few days ago. KayKay was the one to point out that she didn’t tell the server to remove the pickles from her chicken sandwich.

Her phone went off. She cursed and got up from her stool. A loud crashing sound came from the backyard, making her halt. She waited a few more seconds and she heard the same sound in the little area Calum works out in.

Panicking, she scooped up Duke and motioned Cherry to follow her upstairs. She quickly rushed back and swiped her bowl of kumquats. She pushed the dogs in the closet and grabbed her laptop off her bed. While she waited for her laptop to load she called Danny.

“Do you know what time it is?” He snapped.

“I think someone’s trying to break in.” Claudia spoke in a hushed voice.

“What?”

“I said, I think—”

“I heard you. Did you call 911?”

“No, I don’t want Cal to get the notification that the police came. Can you come and bring Panchito? Cherry is still at that phase where she lets everyone pet her. He could bite the burglar and we can just say it was self defense. Like who are they gonna believe? Me or the robber. I mean technically I’m not the homeowner, but my mans is you know. And sure, Panchito doesn't live here, but like we can just say—”

“En un ratito llego.” He said hanging up.

Claudia set her phone down and logged into the Ring website so she can get access to the cameras Calum got installed before they left to her parents’. She cursed as the website glitched and sent her back to the shopping tab. She grabbed her phone and went to the app store to download the app. Another five minutes passed and she logged into the app. She found cameras that aimed where she heard the sounds and sighed in relief. It was the neighborhood cat.

The elderly woman who lives up the street owns it, but she let’s it roam around the neighborhood. Claudia has seen it a few times chilling at the top of some people’s fences.

She checked the other cameras and dialed Danny.

“What?” He said, stifling a yawn.

“So I checked the cameras and it was a cat.” Claudia said, opening the bedroom closet.

“You don’t need me to come over?”

“No, sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m like ten minutes away. You want carne asada fries?”

“Please.”

“Te veo en un ratito.”

“Bye Danny.” She said hanging up.

Ten minutes later Danny showed up with her carne asada fries and a bat. Cherry went up to him and sniffed him. She yipped excitedly and wagged her tail.

“She’s growing fast.” He said scratching behind her ears.

“I know.” Claudia said, leading him to the kitchen.

Danny set the bat under his seat and grabbed one of her disinfectant wipes to clean the to-go box before setting it down on the counter. He took a fork Claudia offered him.

“I have sparkling cider if you want or do you want a beer?” She said, placing the bottle on the counter.

“Is it apple and grape?”

“Obis jobis.”

He motioned Claudia to hand him the bottle. He opened it with his bottle opener keychain while she grabbed some cups.

“When is Calum coming back?”

“Tomorrow, his flight is at twelve London time and he lands around four in the afternoon.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah…”

They awkwardly ate in silence, only talking to pass around la salsa verde.

“Danny?” Claudia began, getting his attention. “I’m sorry about blurting out that Beatriz thing to Mede. It was fucked up and uncalled.”

“Don’t worry about it. Mede and I talked it through… I’m sorry about the whole Paco thing. Especially what I said about you not putting out. That was pretty fucked up.”

“Apology accepted.” Claudia said, sipping her sparkling cider.

“I think la güerra and him are a thing.” He said.

“I knew it! I was watching her snapchat story a few weeks ago and saw a familiar tattooed hand.” Claudia laughed.

They fell into conversation. Lurking La Güerra’s, their cousin Vanessa on their dad’s side, social media Claudia and Danny were able to figure out that their cousin and Paco have been a thing around the start of quarantine. The conversation moved to Danny and his tattooing.

While they hung out on the couch with the new medical drama playing in the background, Danny inspected the tattoo he did on Claudia's knee a few weeks ago. "It healed nicely," he said, smacking her knee. It was two fish skeletons in circular motion, but one fish was shaded while the other was outlined.

"Thank you. I have another appointment in a few weeks. I think I'm going to get it on the inside of my ankle. Sara drew this cool picture and she let me use the drawing." Claudia sipped more of her sparkling cider. "Who was the first person you tattooed at Ivan's shop?"

"Mede." He said, pulling Cherry to his lap. "She and her sorority sisters were in San Diego because UCSD was hosting an event for all of the sororities or some shit for the weekend. Ivan told me I earned my own chair and the whole day none of the walk-ins wanted me to work on them. It made sense, I was barely 20. Anyways an hour or so before closing Mede and few of her sorority sisters showed up.

She recognized me and I freaked because she remembered me. The girls with her teased her and she got all shy and shit."

"No mames estas enamoradisimo de Mede." Claudia teased him.

"I'm pretty sure I've been in love with her since high school— anyways, they all wanted to get the sorority's name and a symbol relating to the ocean. I drew their designs and no one wanted to get them. So Mede volunteered. She got it on her side boob because she didn't want Deacon Pepe and Marcela to see it. You know how they are about tattoos."

Claudia nodded as she turned back to get a blanket. "Doña Marcela literally made me wear long sleeves to soccer games and track meets because my tattoo was inappropriate." She said, lifting her arm to show him her first tattoo she got when she was sixteen.

It was spatula and baseball crossed together with a soccer ball like royal arms that represented her and her brothers. The spatula was for Junior because he followed their father's footsteps and became a chef. The baseball was for Danny because he was their high school's star player. Lastly the soccer ball represented Claudia because soccer was her thing.

"Like my dad was there when I got it done." She said.

"At least she didn't forbid you to be near Mede because you made homemade tattoos at the back parking lot at school."

"The fact that you didn't get caught still amazes me."

"Dr. Vazquez caught me but was impressed and let me do one on him." Danny shrugged.

"Shut up!"

"I swear. It was a pinup girl on his calf."

"That's so weird!" Claudia cringed.

An hour or so passed and they were still talking, but Claudia began dozing off. “I should get going." Danny said.

"When Cal is done with his three week quarantine, we should all hang out." Claudia offered.

"Yeah, I'm gonna leave you that bat in case someone does try to break in you get them with it."

"Dude don't scare me."

"I'm kidding, mensa." He said, giving her a side hug. "Where's your bathroom?"

"The door closest to the front door." Claudia said, checking her phone.

He nodded and went. She closed some apps and noticed her period app. "Shit!" She got up and bolted to the bathroom. "Wait Danny!"

"What the fuck Claudia!" He exclaimed, exiting the bathroom.

"Did you see them?" she asked, so she wouldn't have to see the results.

"No, I'm not touching your pee." he grimaced. "Do you not know?"

Claudia shook her head and hugged herself. "I don't wanna see."

"Go see."

Claudia groaned and slipped in the bathroom. She crossed herself and quietly prayed that they were all negative. She glanced at the test and cursed.

"So you're gonna have a new niece or nephew." Claudia said awkwardly as she came out of the bathroom.

"Fuck! Claudia, you're the smart one." Danny began lecturing her. "How could you two be so irresponsible? Of all the tests to fail you decide to fail a pregnancy test?"

Taglist: @f-mu @another-lonely-heart ​ @sunshinebabycal-deactivated2021​​   @calumscalm ​ @karajaynetoday ​ @cherryxwildflower ​ @myloverboyash ​  @idontneedanyone ​ @findingliam-o ​ @5-secondsofcolor ​ @mulletcal ​ @sexgodashton ​ @fckingpernico ​ @2fangirl4u ​ @calpops

#calum hood smut #calum hood fluff #calum hood imagine #calum hood one shot #calum hood series #calum hood one shots #calum hood imagines #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fanfiction #calum hood fan fiction #calum hood fan fic #El Novio series #el novio quarantine edition

[awhitehead17]

100 ways to say I love you - TimKon edition:

Number 45: “What do you want to watch?”

Enjoy! :D

“Where are you? You said you’d be here twenty minutes ago.”

Kon rolls his eyes as the breathless huff comes through the phone’s speaker. “I didn’t say that. I said, I’ll be leaving mine in twenty minutes, not that I would get to yours in twenty minutes.”

“Still doesn’t explain why you’re not here yet.” Tim comments sounding petulant. Kon would be willing to bet that he’s currently pouting as well.

“I’m on my way now,” Kon reassures his boyfriend smiling to himself, “I won’t be long.”

There’s another huff on the other side and before Kon could say anything else, Tim hangs up on him. Both surprised and not by the action, Kon rolls his eyes again and pockets his phone, deciding to let it go this time. Tim’s in one of his impatient and needy moods and not getting what he wants is leaving him a little temperamental.

It happens occasionally and it’s something Kon finds both exasperating yet adorable only because the mood occurs when Tim is sick. His boyfriend has recently come down with a nasty head cold, most likely a result of getting drenched on a stake out at the end of the previous week. Before succumbing to it, Tim had tried to brush it off as nothing and continue as normal, it was only after he got himself into a situation he couldn’t get himself out of that he finally gave in and went on bed rest to let it run its course.

He’s been pretty needy since then and Kon honestly doesn’t mind. He’s rather liking how much Tim wants him around, even if it’s just to cuddle or to use him as a pillow and personal heater. Also it’s not often Tim lets himself be needy, his own personality of needing to be independent and self-sufficient stops himself from seeking that basic comfort, so seeing Tim so open about it makes a change.

Kon’s currently in a shop picking up some bits that might cheer Tim up a little as well as to help him get over the illness. He wasn’t lying when he said he wouldn’t be long, the Tower is only ten minutes or so away from this store.

Once he’s paid for the items he heads straight for the Tower afterwards. Within those couple minutes of being on the phone with Tim and leaving the store his boyfriend had messaged him five times, each one telling him to hurry up or simply sending him a frowning emoji.

Without any more delays Kon goes straight to Tim’s room once he arrives at the Tower. He lets himself in and is immediately greeted with the sight of a miserable looking Tim all bundled in blankets on his bed sat in the dark with his TV on.

As soon as he enters Tim's head snaps in his direction and Kon sees a weak smile appear on his face. He doesn’t know if it’s the darkness of the room, but Tim is looking worse than the last time he saw him. His skin appears to be paler, he has dark circles under his eyes, he’s slumped on the mattress like it’s eating him whole and overall just looks exhausted.

Kon shuts the door and approaches the bed, he bends forwards to press a kiss on Tim’s warm forehead and starts emptying the items he’s brought onto the mattress.

“I brought some stuff which I thought may help you recover a little quicker, as well as something which I thought may cheer you up.” Kon explains as Tim tiredly examines the contents. “Have you taken any medication or have had some water recently?”

When Tim shakes his head, Kon sighs softly having already guessed his answer. Digging through what he brought he brings out some medication for Tim to take along with a bottle of water.

“The medication will take a little bit to kick in. Are you hungry, I’ve brought some dry snacks you could have?”

Tim shakes his head again and sends Kon a miserable look. “I’ve been feeling nauseous for hours now. I retched earlier but nothing came up. This may be more than a head cold.”

Kon winces, feeling bad for Tim having to deal with it all. He may have a point about it being more than a head cold, a bad one at that, but then again Tim doesn’t have a spleen, his immune system is already weakened so this may have just escalated from that originally.

“We’ll keep an eye on it, if you’re not feeling any better tomorrow we’ll get you looked at just in case. Though you will have to try and eat something at some point, you’ll need the energy and the nutrients.”

Tim mumbles something incoherently and Kon could see how Tim is now fighting to stay awake. Knowing it won’t be long before he drops off to sleep, Kon clears the bed of the items and climbs inside the barricade of blankets Tim has made.

Together they get comfy underneath the blankets and stretch out on the bed. Tim is practically lying on him with his head just turned enough so that he could see the TV screen. Kon has an arm wrapped around his back in support and uses the other to brush a hand through Tim’s hair but not before picking up the remote and flicking through Tim’s Netflix account.

“What do you want to watch? Choose whatever you want, I don’t mind.”

Tim mumbles against his chest which has Kon rolling his eyes. Figuring that Tim won’t be contributing his decision anytime soon, Kon flicks over to the ‘watch again’ list on the screen.

“What about Star Trek?”

For a third time Tim makes an unintelligible sound but this time it was accompanied with a nod of the head. Taking that as enough of a confirmation Kon selects the programme and settles against the bed again, wrapping his arm back around Tim comfortably.

As predicted it wasn’t long before Tim fell asleep, his body going completely limp against Kon, his heart beating steadily against his chest and his breath hitting Kon’s neck in regular intervals. Kon smiles to himself, adoration for his boyfriend flooding inside of him. He’ll let Tim sleep this medication off and once he’s awake Kon will get some food inside of him and then make a decision on how serious his condition is. Until then he’s going to enjoy Tim sleeping on him and some Star Trek at the same time.

#timkon #Tim Drake #Kon-El #sick fic #sick tim #grouchy tim #caring kon #Tim is super needy and Kon loves it #cuddles #fluff #100 ways to say i love you #fanfiction

[monstersandmaw]

Male drider x female reader - Part Three (sfw)

Edit which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

Sorry for the huge delay on posting this - I was prepping to drive halfway up the country last week, and then when we got here my mother in law fell and badly broke her arm at the shoulder, and had to go to the local hospital, with surgery scheduled for Monday, so it’s been... busy...

Here’s part three of cranky spooder, with part four (final, long, and nsfw) scheduled for next Wednesday so that even if there’s more drama up here in the Lakes, you’ll still get your story.

This one is shorter, but I still hope you enjoy it. The fact that he's a widower is brought up, and the fire in which his wife and unborn eggs died is also mentioned, but briefly, and in no real detail. Hope you enjoy getting to know him a little better, and we find out his name in this one too.

On Monday morning, you pushed the door open with no small degree of trepidation, but found it deserted. Your task for that morning would take you up the wooden and brass ladders into the upper reaches of the library shelves, up and down, up and down. It was exhausting, but you welcomed the exertion after days of standing over piles of books and noting down titles.

On your fifth trip down, arms laden with books, you heard your name spoken from below, but as you looked down, your foot slipped, and the books rained down to the ground.

With a shout, you scrabbled for the ladder rung but missed, and found yourself falling through the void behind you. There were easily fifteen feet between you and the hard floor, but before you could even process what was really happening, something cushioned your back and you bounced softly, swaying perhaps four feet off the ground.

Looking around, you found that you were lying in a hammock of white webbing, slung hastily from a shelf nearby and gripped in the front talons of a drider’s two front legs.

Carefully, he lowered it to the ground and held out his hand to you. Shaking, you stepped from the webbing, too surprised to notice that it wasn’t sticky, and let him lead you back to the table. “Are you alright?” he asked.

You nodded, adrenaline still flooding through you.

“I thought I wasn’t going to catch you for a second there.”

“Thank you,” you managed. “That would have been a nasty fall…”

“I shouldn’t have distracted you like that. It was thoughtless of me.”

Looking up at him as he cringed away slightly, you found yourself asking, “What’s your name?”

“My name? Why?”

You shrugged. “Everyone calls you ‘the master’, but you’re not my master. I don’t work here.”

“Yes you do,” he said, glancing at the table groaning with books for reshelving.

“Only for another four months,” you said. “I mean… I’m not part of your staff. I don't know what to call you.”

He swallowed thickly and half turned from you, showing you his profile. He had a slightly hooked nose and a sharp chin, and his dark, glowering brows didn’t lend any softness to his already angular and gaunt face. “Gilvas,” he said, so softly you nearly missed it. “My name is Gilvas.”

“Well, Gilvas,” you said with a faint chuckle, “I think we’ve got to find a way to stop scaring the living shit out of each other whenever we meet… Unless you want to keep shaking me from the stacks like an apple from a tree…”

He stepped back then and blinked softly. The tiniest smile graced his lips and he stared at you. “Perhaps we should,” he said. Taking another few steps back, his legs moving like silent mechanical levers in an inventor’s toy, he swallowed again and sighed. “What are you working on today?”

Your gaze dropped to the scattered books and you picked one up and held it out to him. “See for yourself.”

He reached falteringly for the book and missed, eyelids fluttering. “Like I care anyway,” he said, turning and leaving.

“Wait,” you called. “I’m sorry. That was thoughtless of me.”

At that, he halted again. “Excuse me?”

“I forgot…” you admitted. “I forgot that…”

“That what?”  he snarled, rounding on you and rearing up again, though only slightly this time. His pendulous body acted as a counterweight and he hung there like a nightmare between the shelves. “That I can’t see you in this light? That catching you was a literal shot in the dark? That I can’t read the title of a book this close to my face?” He brandished the tome before flinging it roughly into the depths behind you.

“Yes,” you said breathlessly.

Your admission must have taken the wind out of him because he sagged, returning his lethally-clawed spider legs to the ground again and turning away, resting his weight on the shelf with a hand as he did so. “I shouldn't have lost my temper,” he said quietly, and then left.

Chance meetings with him after that seemed to occur more regularly, though none matched that one for drama, to your relief. Finally, on one rainy afternoon as you stood by the window taking a break, he approached you. His hair was tied back off his face that day, revealing its gaunt angles and bruised-looking shadows. He was clearly a wreck of his former self, but you thought you could see the ghost of who he had been.

“You’ve finished the first four sections,” he stated.

You turned from the rainy view and nodded. “Yeah. It’s still a lifetime’s work to fix all this, you know? I’m just grouping it by category. If you want a detailed catalogue of everything that’s in here, you need to hire someone permanently.”

He nodded. “I’m aware. Though frankly, I can’t see the point. When I die, the whole estate will be broken up anyway.”

The bluntness of his words took you by surprise and you paced over to him. He wavered, as if on the point of stepping back into the safety of the shadows, but he remained where he was. He had the body of a black widow spider, you had come to realise, with the black carapace marked with the hourglass of red. The red streak in his hair highlighted it, and the colour was picked up again in his inhuman, garnet-red eyes and in the swirling, watercolour birthmark across the right side of his face and neck.

“Don’t say that,” you breathed.

“Why not?” he scoffed. “It’s the truth. I have no heirs.”

“Gilvas…” you began, but you stopped. It wasn’t your place. In the months you’d been here, all the two of you had discussed was poetry and shared the odd comment on whatever your current topic was.

With a long inhale, he said, “Tell me about yourself?”

“What about me?” you laughed. “I’m an archivist, my best friend is an orc, I’ve lived in Starfall Springs all my life, save for going to the university at Old Trollbridge, and —”

“What college?”

“At Trollbridge?” you asked. “Lady Francis.” Lady Francis of the Barbed Arrow, to give it its full title, but no one called it that.

He smiled. “I was at Calnehouse.”

Something softened in him then as he trailed his elegant, if bony, fingertips along the edge of the table.

“Met my wife there.”

Your heart leapt. This was the first time he’d ever mentioned her - or anything personal really. “What did she study?” you asked in a whisper.

“Foreign languages,” he said, voice catching. “She was brilliant.”

“You must have loved her very much…” you offered, your words feeling empty and inadequate.

Meekly, he nodded. “She would have liked you.”

“Oh?”

“Mm.”

With a shy smile, you ventured, “May I ask why?”

He twitched his head in a ‘follow me’ gesture, and you walked by his side to the back of the library. A panel stood between two wide bookshelves, and he pressed a rosette amid the ornate carving. With a click, it sprang free from the wall, and he ducked through it with barely a whisper of room on each side of his body, leaving you to follow after. As the door closed behind you, the corridor was plunged into complete darkness.

You gasped and shot a hand out for the wall.

“This way. It’s not far,” Gilvas murmured, and a moment later, a shaft of light pierced through the absolute blackness and the pair of you emerged at the other end in an unfamiliar part of the house.

“Where are we?” you asked as you watched him squeeze through and step down into a slightly lower passage. He turned and, to your surprise, offered you his hand.

You took it and found his skin cool, almost cold, and his grip strong despite the slight tremble to his fingers. He steadied you and then let go, allowing you to look around. Portraits hung all down the corridor and you stared from one to the other of them. Most seemed to be of driders, although you picked out a tiefling in one, and what appeared to be a human in another.

Finally, your eyes lighted on a striking likeness of a young, female drider with pure white hair and lavender skin. “Is that…?”

Silently, he nodded and blinked slowly.

You crossed to her and stared up at the modestly sized painting. The drider was laughing, caught on the moment of turning to look out at the viewer, hair swirling. You thought of all the life and vivaciousness he’d missed out on since holing himself up in here after her death. “She’s beautiful,” you choked. “I’m so sorry you lost her.”

“There was a fire,” he said. “Took out the whole east wing. Gutted it. I… I couldn’t reach them.”

“Them?” you blurted unthinkingly.

“She was… She was with…”

A chill plunged through you as you remembered what Naril had told you, and you turned from the painting. “Stop,” you hissed. “You don't have to relive that. I’m sorry.”

He blinked down at you, face achingly sad. “I’m glad you came here, you know?”

“I thought I was just a nuisance, reorganising all your books and getting in the way…”

He managed a weak, wonky smile and shook his head. “This place has been the same for too long.”

With a quick glance back over your shoulder at the laughing drider, you asked, “How… Low long?”

“Nine years,” he said. “She died in our last year of university. In the spring.”

“And you’ve lived here alone all this time?”

“I’m not alone,” he said, turning and looking pointedly down the length of the corridor.

Frowning, you turned and found Chiara standing at the far end, gawping at the pair of you. “My lord?” the harpy croaked, looking stunned to find you there. “Is…?” she looked from you to him again. “Is everything alright?”

His lip twitched fractionally, and he nodded. “I was just…” he sighed. “Never mind. I should let you get back to work. I promise not to shake you from the rafters again.”

“Only if you promise to catch me,” you grinned as he opened up the passageway for you.

He faltered. And then nodded. “Deal.”

Final Part --->

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I really hope you folks enjoyed this one! Don’t forget to let me know if you did enjoy it by leaving a like and/or reblogging it!

__

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#drider #exophilia #monster boyfriend #drider x reader #drider boyfriend #male monster x female reader #male drider x female reader #male drider #male monster #female reader #spider monster #cranky spooder