#tw: abandonment issues | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

schrijverr · 2 years

Text

Solar System

Harvey notices that Mike is well liked throughout the entirety of Pearson Hardman, because he is friendly and helpful to everyone. He reflects on his own connections and friendships, contemplating where he wants to be in life.

@ the anon who requested it, sorry it took so long, hopefully you like it <3

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: Harvey's abandonment issues

~~~~~~~~~~

Mike knows what it’s like to be the lowest on the ladder. Hell, he knows what it’s like to not even be on the ladder. So, he also knows that one should always be kind to the people below them (which should just be basic fucking decency, but apparently it is not).

The point it, Mike is polite and kind to everyone. His main motivation to become a lawyer is to help people and giving someone a nice interaction is one of the easier ways to help them, whether it’s to brighten a shitty day or give them something to think about when life gets hard.

This has all lead to the fact that Mike is incredibly well known and well liked to the staff of Pearson Hardman that no one thinks about.

Because these people aren’t thought of within Pearson Hardman, the fact that Mike is well liked is unknown to most of his other colleagues.

The paralegals sometimes comment their thanks that he doesn’t treat them like servants like so many other associates, but even they don’t always realize how far down it goes.

The cleaning personnel for the floors he mostly frequents (the one with Harvey’s office and the cubicles for the associates) are called Janice, Carl, Naomi and Daisy. As well as, Herman and Mary, who are there for the mornings. He made an effort to learn them because Grammy was a cleaning lady and ‘not one of those bastards knew my name after twenty years of working there, not even the dick that hired me.’

Janice and Carl together are a hoot. They clean the associate floor and have been for years, like before Harvey worked there years. The two banter like the best of them and Mike has choked on laughter from time to time at their comments about the mess the other leave.

On top of that, they slip him extra’s like hand sanitizer for on his desk when the soap dispenser broke or cleaning supplies for at home when he complained about them being expensive. Now he cleans on Pearson Hardman’s dime. Not to mention the tips for when he can’t get a stain out.

It is truly miraculous what a well intended and polite introduction can do for a person, or a helping hand when you see someone struggling.

He of course also has his contacts in IT, with him having an actual friendship with Benjamin. It might have started out a bit strained, but Benjamin is a genuinely nice person and Mike likes listening to him when they’re having lunch. His rambles are always well informed and on a range of topics that have even proven to be useful at times. (Having IT knowledge when working for IT companies helps, who would have thought?)

Next to that, he has lesser contact (though still good contact) with the mail room. He used to be a delivery boy, alright, he knows how much it sucks to have someone be an asshole about something you had no control over.

Jose Morales works as the doorman working the night shift. He’s a bit of a serious guy (which is great for security), so it took a while before he warmed up to Mike. However, pleasant greetings and polite questions do wonders and now Mike gets a smile when he leaves at an hour that should be unreasonable, but is par of the course for a prominent law firm.

Amanda Brown works the day shifts. She is much more approachable than Jose and Mike has struck up quite a work friendship with her. Her dog is adorable and she could kick his ass twenty ways into next Sunday. She also lets him get away with some things that technically aren’t not allowed, but frowned upon. He adores Amanda.

Next to all of them, Mike is polite and understanding to the receptionists and secretaries if he needs something from them and ensures that he always greets them when he passes. Though most people are nice to them, since they fall under Donna’s network and no one wants the wrath of her to befall them.

If Mike is honest, he is nothing more than polite and respectful towards all the workers at Pearson Hardman. Something that shouldn’t give him as much appreciation in turn as it does, since again, just basic human decency.

However, he was them and he knows that decency can be hard to come by in firms like this. People yell for no reason, always ready to shit on the person under them.

It can suck.

So, Mike is polite because he can and is well liked for it. Not that he noticed it much. He is just kind and kindness gets kindness back. It’s just a two way street that not enough people walk on, thinking their position is enough to earn it.

But, as stated before, this is relatively unknown to his more direct colleagues within Pearson Hardman, who have never bothered to interact much with the people Mike is popular under. So, it takes a while before Harvey catches on.

Now Harvey prides himself on being observant and a people reader. He likes knowing people’s business and has made it into a career, which if he may be less than humble, is doing more than amazing.

Therefore, he hates it when he realizes something slipped by him. And once he does notice, he must pull the thread until it unravels and he knows exactly what is going on.

It starts when he overhears Donna talking to Mike. He is coming up to ask Donna about some files when he hears Mike say: “Yeah, she’s taking time off because her wife is pregnant. I’m really happy for her, but I am going to miss her when she’s gone.”

“Really?” Donna asks. “And who’s replacing her? Jose?”

“I don’t think Jose wants Amanda’s shift,” Mike replies. “He likes that he can sleep when the kids are at school and spend time with them in the afternoon. Apparently he is ‘made for the night shift’ or so he says.”

“Who are we talking about?” Harvey interrupts not used to hearing unfamiliar names from Donna or Mike.

“The doormen. Well, the doorman and doorwoman,” Mike answers. “Amanda is leaving to help with the baby and I wondered if Donna knew more about who is taking her place in the meantime, but she didn’t so we’re speculating.”

“You don’t know?” he asks Donna, unable to hide the surprise.

“I can’t know everything,” she rolls her eyes. “Mike is part of my network. I hear things from him too. I didn’t even know Amanda’s wife was pregnant, not to mention the fact that she was taking some time.”

“She doesn’t like discussing her private life,” Mike shrugs. “Unless it’s about her dog.”

They both giggle and Harvey frowns, processing the information. He is not in the know about something. Hell, Donna didn’t know something. It’s more the latter mixed with the irritation of the former that sets him off. Donna never doesn’t know something. So why does Mike when she doesn’t?

The whole thing bugs him and while he puts it off for the moment in favor of asking what he was coming over to ask, the thought doesn’t leave him alone.

Harvey has never paid much attention to Mike’s comings and goings and who he talks to. Unless it was Louis or Jessica. Or clients. He’s mostly concerned about whether Mike does his work. And he does. Well.

However, now he tries to keep an eye out.

He notes how Mike does indeed smile at the buff lady manning the front desk, who later is a younger man that Mike also seems to know. He witnesses paralegals and delivery personnel give Mike an acknowledging smile that he returns whenever they’re dropping something of for cases they’re working on. And he sees him talking to a woman with a broom once that he has faintly seen before.

But it takes a few weeks before he gets a moment to witness Mike’s friendliness.

They’re working on a case for a company that got hacked and blackmailed by said hacker. It’s a messy situation and all the technical terms are dizzying. The whole thing isn’t legally complicated necessarily, just computer-y.

Harvey himself isn’t the best technology-wise and while Mike is intelligent and up to date enough on most digital things, this goes beyond him as well. So, they’re scratching their heads together when he offers: “I can ask Benjamin if he could explain.”

“Benjamin?” Harvey repeats, not familiar with the name.

“Yeah, he works in IT. I won a laptop from him once, didn’t appreciate that. But he’s a great guy, practically runs the department himself,” Mike explains. “If anyone can explain what the hell is going on here, it’s him.”

Confused yet intrigued and beyond desperation, Harvey agrees.

Mike lights up and is out of his chair in seconds, saying: “I’ll go get him real quick. I’ve been dying to stretch my legs.”

“You just want to get out of here,” Harvey accuses him, a bit playfully. “Leave me with all the paperwork.”

“Sue me,” Mike grins as he disappears out the door.

Harvey shakes his head to the empty room. Then he tries to pretend he’s reading over words that have long since stopped making sense to him. In the back of his mind, he is curious about this Benjamin guy, though he doesn’t examine the feeling closely.

They get there moments later. Benjamin is smiling, looking like a guy who doesn’t talk much, but doesn’t mind the fact that Mike is rambling.

When they get closer, Harvey hears Mike say: “So, I looked into that game you recommended. I don’t know how you got past level nine. I’m seriously stuck.”

“Ah, yeah, it’s a bit tricky,” Benjamin replies with a soft nod. “You got to find the right fight combo and repeat it until the boss dies. It’s a rhythm. I can send you the combo if you want.”

“Nah, I think I can figure it out, but, uh, I’m keeping that in mind,” Mike laughs.

“Alright, but you know where to reach me,” Benjamin tells him, before they round the corner.

Harvey looks up again as if he hasn’t been listening. And gives Benjamin a curt hand, greeting him with: “So you’re the Benjamin who can make sense of this?”

“Of course, I am,” Benjamin replies confidently. “Someone here has to stay up to date with the technological developments so we don’t slide back to the dark ages. Nowadays everything is outdated within five years.”

He raises a brows a bit at the blunt confidence, but Harvey can appreciate a man who knows what he’s about and does it well. So, he just gestures to the mess before them and says: “Well, then, explain away.”

Now, Harvey has to admit he hates having to ask for help. The condescending smugness of whoever is explaining always sets his teeth on edge and he likes his independence too much to ever suggest he needs someone.

But Mike knows that. Mike is a bit the same. However, he listens eagerly and quietly to Benjamin, who is – if Harvey is honest – bearable when it comes to explaining.

Benjamin is confident and cocky in what he does, something that should irk Harvey. However, it makes that he explains as if it’s natural that only he, with his vast IT experience, can understand it like this. It makes the whole thing less about Harvey’s incompetence and more about how great Benjamin is. Especially when he ends with: “This can be explained so much easier, it’s like their whole point is to confuse you.”

“I wouldn’t put it past them,” Mike says thoughtfully.

“It’s a smart strategy,” Harvey agrees. Confusing opponents is not only a good strategy, it also makes him feel better about himself.

“Thanks so much, Benjamin,” Mike smiles, shaking Benjamin’s hand as he leads him to the door. “I will come back if we still don’t get it, you’re the best. If I can ever help you, just come by my cubicle.”

“I will, Mike,” Benjamin returns the smile. “It’s no problem at all, though. I still owe you for that letter to my landlord. The elevator works again and you are worth you weight in gold for that. I hate stairs.”

Mike laughs at that, assures Benjamin that it was nothing, then bids him farewell, telling him he’ll see him at lunch Wednesday. After that he returns to the desk and gets back to work, like it is all nothing out of the ordinary.

It hits Harvey that this might indeed be nothing out of the ordinary for Mike and he files the information away with a frown. He’s not again Mike making friends and being nice. It has proven helpful now, even if the kid’s big heart can be annoying during pro-bono cases. It just doesn’t feel like lawyer behavior. Corporate lawyer, that is.

However, he tries to put it out of his mind now. They’re in the middle of a case and he has more important things to worry about than Mike’s friends.

Still, he never lets pieces of information like this go about others. So, he realizes that Mike likely bumped into the door(wo)man enough times to strike up conversation and befriended Benjamin after needing something in IT.

Mike is a practically a puppy, friendly and eager in interactions, likable overall. It’s not odd that he will have some friendships and that Donna can use him in her network of intelligence.

And the curious itch that he scratched here, should have been the end of that. It’s Mike’s stupid bleeding heart that he can’t seem to rid himself off. Of course it is.

Mystery solved.

But now that he’s aware of it, he can’t stop noticing it. It’s like a part of his hearing is unlocked and he’s hearing unfamiliar names everywhere.

They’re working on a case which goes deep into the finance district and Harvey refuses to let Louis near it however direct or indirect. So, Mike suggest: “We should ask Stacy to find precedents. Her father works in the business and she hates how he does it, so she spend years trying to find loopholes to sue him one day.”

“That doesn’t sound healthy,” Harvey raises a brow. “And who is Stacy?”

“She’s a paralegal,” Mike explains then shrugs: “And not exactly, but it is useful and she has a reason. I think. She mentioned a boyfriend in relation to it once. I don’t know.”

“Well, go ask Stacy then,” Harvey rolls his eyes. He’s just glad Mike isn’t suggesting Rachel. He likes the paralegal as much as anyone he doesn’t have a negative opinion about, but she’s too close to Louis for his taste and Mike gets distracted with her around and he can’t use that right now.

Stacy is a nice girl, who Harvey barely interacts with. She does her work and he only sees her when looking for Mike, who has taken up doing research with her in the library.

Harvey knows that Mike hates working in the library, since Louis shuts the associates in there from time to time and he has memorized it anyway, so why surround himself with more people who can distract him? Thus it is odd that he would willingly spend time there.

For a moment, Harvey contemplates Mike liking Stacy, but quickly discards the thought. If Mike were to go after anyone, it will be Rachel. The kid’s crush on her is embarrassing at this point.

So, in a bid to figure out why, he casually comments: “You and Stacy are getting chummy in the library,” as they’re walking away from said library and towards a meeting. He doesn’t think it’s that, but it is funny to watch Mike gape, a bit flustered.

Then of course, he indignantly protests: “I’m not trying to get in her pants. I’m just being nice, people do that sometimes, Harvey.”

“Does she not function without company?” Harvey raises a brow, already convinced but playing with Mike.

“Of course she does, she is studying to become a lawyer and wanted to ask questions about what we found while we worked,” Mike pouts. “Seeing that I am supposed to be the actual lawyer there, I thought I’d help out. I passed the bar, remember? A lot.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re very smart,” Harvey rolls his eyes, his curiosity satisfied and Mike properly bullied, which is less fun to continue when the kid gets smart and cocky with him.

So, he lets that moment go. Only to be faced with a different name the moment they leave the building when Mike says: “Wait a sec, I have to ask Adam something.”

“Adam?” Harvey repeats, but Mike is already walking away.

Harvey watches him smile at the new guy he noticed at the front desk through observing Mike. He greets Mike, who greets him back with a grin, asking if got in.

“I did,” Adam, apparently, says. “The test went way better with your study and test tips, I even helped another girl trying to get in. I can start next semester. You’re the best, thanks so much.”

“It was nothing,” Mike smiles. “Glad I could help. And congratulations!”

“Thank you,” Adam returns the smile, puffing his chest proudly.

Harvey raises a brow as he listens. They have been drowning in the finance case, yet Mike has managed to help two separate people study. How – and more importantly, why – he found the time, Harvey doesn’t know.

“Really, it was all you,” Mike tells him. “Oh, and I meant to ask, we’re on the way to a meeting right now, but while we’re there a package for me is coming in. It’s a part of boat I need for a pro-bono. I know it’s going to be held up to check, which sucks, because I need it this afternoon.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Adam leans in a bit as he tells Mike that. “I’ll funnel it through.”

“Thank you, Adam,” Mike says sincerely. “You rock.”

“Good luck at your meeting, Mike,” Adam bids him farewell.

“I’ll kick their asses,” Mike promises with a grin as he joins Harvey again as they’re walking outside.

“You actually ordered a boat part for that pro-bono I shoved on you?” Harvey asks curiously, trying not to be impressed at how Mike uses his friendship to get things moved along. Harvey usually uses manipulation and power, but this works nicely too.

“I subpoenaed parts of the boat, yeah,” Mike shrugs. “They’re faulty and they know it. All I have to do is prove it.”

Harvey smirks at Mike’s cockiness that he helped create, but rolls his eyes too. Can’t have Mike thinking he cares about his development. So, instead he says: “You and your bleeding heart.”

“There’s nothing wrong with helping people,” Mike says. “Besides, I’m winning cases, you love winning cases.”

“So you don’t have a bleeding heart after all, interesting,” Harvey comments idly with a grin that gives away he is teasing Mike. “You just pretend for your own gain, so you can feel better about yourself.”

“Uhm, no,” Mike protests. “There is nothing wrong with feeling happy about yourself after helping someone. Everyone likes helping someone. Feeling useful. Even those who don’t think they do, secretly do. It’s human.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Harvey says, walking away with a sulking Mike trailing behind him as he ignores what Mike replies to that.

However the words lodge into Harvey’s brain in an irritating way. He hates how easily Mike has taken up space there, makes him curious, makes him break routines that have worked just fine for years.

It’s annoying and he hates it.

First, he had to notice how Mike knows everyone in Pearson Hardman and now he is forced to notice how friendly and helpful he is to all of them.

He comes to get Mike from the cube farm for an impromptu expedition/meeting to find him leaning over the desk of a blond associate. He is pointing at something and saying something that Harvey can’t hear, but when he gets closer he hears the blond say: “Ah, I get it now. Thanks, Mike.”

In one of his breaks he walks by that paralegal’s, Rachel, office and sees him with flash cards quizzing her. There is a thick book on his lap and he’s nodding encouragingly at her, cheering when she says something that is apparently right.

Later he runs into Mike when delivering something to the mail room, where Mike is helping a girl lift a heavy box onto a cart. “I got it Gina, don’t worry,” he tells her when she asks if he’s sure he can lift it.

Now Harvey has seen Mike struggle with these type of boxes and his noodle arms. So, he watches for a moment, waiting for it to turn sour on Mike as he assures her again: “No, really, don’t worry. It’s fine.”

And to everyone’s surprise, he does lift it. Up it goes and before he can ploink it down, the cart starts to roll away. Gina jumps and gets it, both making weird exclamations until the box is finally set down.

Once it’s in place, Mike cheers, pumping his fist, while Gina giggles and accepts his high five. They have their little celebratory moment and Harvey can’t help but smile at the scene.

When they’re done, Gina gets a package down for Mike, smiling at handing it to him as he asks after her kitten she has apparently named Snowball. She shows him a few pictures and Mike gushes over the kitten, neither of them noticing Harvey.

He watches them and a weird feeling gets over him.

It takes him a moment to realize what he’s feeling. At first he thinks he’s jealous, which he throws away as absurd, because he’s Harvey Specter and he’s not jealous of his associate watching cat pictures.

Then it hits him that the strange hollowness in his chest is loneliness, but there is also nostalgia mixed in there.

Like he said, he is Harvey Specter. He has a respectability that he didn’t have when working in the mail room himself. He has built himself up, but now doesn’t have those casual interactions that Mike has anymore.

This is confirmed again when Gina spots him and gasps, quickly putting away her phone as she says: “I’m so sorry, Mr. Specter. I didn’t see you. Is there a package not delivered?”

“No, I came to hand this over,” he tells her, holding out the package he has with him.

“What is it?” Mike asks as Gina takes it, looking curiously as he attempts to read the label. “What do you need to send to Mr. Colson? I didn’t know we had a case for him.”

“We don’t,” Harvey tells him, quickly saying to Gina: “I’d prefer if this gets send out as soon as possible.” She nods, getting to it, and Harvey returns his focus to Mike. “He asked me something about records of a while ago. He wants to check something, before thinking about a deal. Maybe if he goes through we have a case, but nothing for now.”

“Ahw,” Mike pouts. “I was hoping we finally had something interesting.”

“Is my paperwork not good enough?” Harvey asks jokingly.

“Never,” Mike grins.

Harvey smiles back fondly, the strange feeling from earlier forgotten as he banters with Mike, one of the few people who has no problem in ribbing him, calling him out on his shit or just generally discarding what he says. Which he reminds him to ask: “What are you even doing here?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m picking up something for Jenny,” Mike tells him. “She couldn’t leave her desk today, but she really needed it, so I offered to get it.”

“Jenny?” Harvey repeats the name, not sure if he is irritated with this new unknown person Mike is doing something nice for, or just tired of it.

“She’s Porter’s secretary,” Mike says.

The name Porter vaguely rings a bell with Harvey. One of the senior partners, if he’s right, (which he always is). He is on one of the lower floors and not someone Harvey cares about, so he just nods and lets it be, leaving in a fouler mood than he came in with.

Harvey doesn’t like this feeling he recognized in that mail room. He is happy where he is and the distance he keeps from people is a necessity, besides he gets enough closeness from the ladies that share his bed. He doesn’t like thinking that he has a defect. That he isn’t completely perfect and composed at all times.

It’s annoying and he hates it. A familiar feeling.

A feeling that isn’t helped with Mike being Mike. The kid is everywhere. Now, Harvey would never stoop so low as to avoid someone, but he is running into Mike outside their standard interactions more than he would like. And always the kid is being nice.

He comes in to see Mike handing Donna her morning coffee, he is giving a stack of paperwork he got from the printer to Rachel, he holds the door for one of the cleaners that he greets by name and at one point Harvey even finds him at the reception answering the phone, later explaining to Harvey that he was watching it since the receptionist, who manned the lines during the lunch break needed to pee and he was walking by.

Mike is like an irritating and continuous confrontation that Harvey does not have many friends. Hardly any, in fact. He can only count Donna, Jessica, Ray and Mike among his friends, Louis if he wants to vomit a bit in his mouth.

Sure, he can say he is friends with a lot of clients, but not in the way he is with the ones on that list. His clients always need him. He has to answer to their call, solve their problems. They pay him. There is just a distance.

So, the weeks go by and Harvey gets more and more annoyed with Mike, who is confused about the sudden change in treatment. Hell, even Donna starts raising her brows at him whenever Mike leaves his office after he snapped at him again.

And Harvey can’t really explain to her why pushing Mike away is easier than confronting all he represents. That would be too emotional and he tries to stay away from that as much as possible whenever he can.

However, his behavior is not something that he can sustain and Mike’s sad confused eyes each time he sends him away are starting to get to him. Something he also finds annoying. Yet he can’t help, but feel bad and a part of him knows that it’s going to coalesce into something soon.

He is proven correct about a month into his shift when Mike comes in unannounced, looking like a man on a mission.

“What have I done to you now?” he starts by asking that loudly. He is frowning and obviously worked up, making Harvey feel a bit bad.

But Harvey doesn’t do feeling bad for someone, so he raises a brow and plays dumb. “I have no idea what you think I’m doing now, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really?” Mike’s upset is making place for righteous disbelief and anger. “I know you’re always a dick, but you’ve been upping you game and I have no clue why your angry at me now, because I have been nothing but helpful.”

Harvey nearly tells him that that’s exactly it. However, he restrains himself and just gives Mike an unimpressed look, before asking: “You done?”

“Seriously?” Mike says. “I can’t believe you.”

“Congratulations?” Harvey tells him, playing confused.

Mike takes a deep breath to calm his anger, before turning around and walking away. When he’s at the door and turns back to Harvey. He says: “I am walking away, so I don’t punch you, but don’t think this conversation is done.”

If Harvey is honest, he feels like he is being threatened by a puppy and lets Mike know that, but at the same time a heavy weight settles more in his chest. He watches Mike stomp away, Donna’s judgmental face in his periphery, and feels like he has made a mistake that he is going to feel.

“What the hell was that,” Donna comes bursting in when Mike has disappeared.

“You too?” he shoots back, playing cool.

“You know that you’ve been curt and stand offish to Mike,” Donna says. “You’ve been an asshole to him and he’s right to call you out, just because you can’t handle criticism.”

“Hey, I can handle criticism,” Harvey protests, knowing that Donna is a bit correct.

Donna levels him a look that would usually have him buying her a bag in an attempt to get that look off her face, though today his internal feelings are enough of a mess that he doubles down. He crosses his arms and looks right back.

“God, I can’t believe you,” she huffs, returning to her desk and leaving Harvey to wonder how he managed to piss off his two closest friends in a day.

He sits at his desk, trying to forget about it as he does his paperwork. It’s harder than he expected and he can’t help but go over the conversation and how he could have gone about it differently, something he never does about his conversations ever.

It’s all confusing and he hates the uncertainty. He hates that he is being put of balance by someone he thought would be no more than an associate he could push his pro-bonos and boring paperwork on.

But now he’s in his office struggling with emotions he thought he shut down ages ago, because the kid that has become his friend is kind to people. He nearly stays late to finish his work, but then decides he’s done with the whole day and just goes home early, not feeling up to going out and staying in alone, trying not to feel bad about himself.

What has his life come to?

Meanwhile, Mike is confused. He thought he and Harvey were friends, but then suddenly he is getting shut out and when he confronted Harvey about he’s just getting shut out more, even mocked for being upset.

He’s angry at Harvey, at himself, also a bit sad and confused. He sits at his desk, staring at his work, not really finishing it, but mostly flipping through it without taking it in.

Soon it’s late and he is one of the few people left in the office. When Janice and Carl come bustling in, he’s snapped out of his thoughts, smiling at them as he hears their argument about who’s turn it is to clean out Harold’s trashcan.

They spot him and greet him jovially and though he tries to return the same energy, it falls a bit flat and he sees it in Janice’s face, which shifts as she asks in a concerned voice: “What happened, dear? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he tells her unconvincingly.

She gives him another look and Carl joins her and says: “You should know her well enough by now that that’s not gonna fly, Mike.”

That gets a real chuckle out of him. Then he sighs when remembering that afternoon. He contemplates not telling them, but he’s been dying to just get it off his chest and they’re offering to listen, so he says: “I got mad at Harvey and he dismissed me entirely.”

“You finally confronted him about the ignoring?” Janice asks, having heard Mike’s confused rants earlier in the month.

“Yeah,” Mike confirms sadly.

“Well, he is a dick,” Carl says. “Everyone knows that. It was just a matter of time, before he turned it on you as well. I’ve told you.”

“I know, Carl,” Mike replies, “but I swear I thought he wouldn’t be like that to me. We’re friends.”

“That man has no friends,” Janice bristles.

“I’m his friend,” Mike says.

“Not if he’s mad at you for it,” Janice tells him.

Mike thinks about the words. Part of him knows that what Harvey is doing isn’t okay, but something keeps tugging on him anyway. A flash in Harvey’s eyes, a small turn in his mouth or an expression flitting across his features, like there is something more there, like there is something he’s not saying.

Still, it’s not really an excuse, so he nods: “You’re right, I just don’t know what to do. I thought telling him might work, but it obviously hasn’t, so what now?”

“Be petty,” Carl suggests.

“Yes!” Janice immediately agrees. “He doesn’t appreciate you as a friend, so stop being a friend. He will know what he did.”

“But he’s my boss,” Mike protests. “I can’t just not do stuff for him.”

Both of them level a look at him and Mike shifts in his seat a bit, unsure of what he has said now. At that point Janice rolls her eyes and says: “Boy, we both know you do more than you need. You don’t have to do all that.”

“Maybe,” Mike says after a moment.

Janice looks like she’s about to argue again, but Carl cuts her off before she can begin with: “You know that’s the best we’re getting out of this idiot.”

“Hey!” Mike exclaims as Janice shrugs in agreement. The two laugh at him for it, then turn back to their work, going over all the office gossip while they clean.

As they talk, Mike thinks over what they said in the back of his mind. He knows that they have a point and by the time he leaves work he is convinced it’s the best way to keep working, but also let Harvey know he’s not happy with how he was treated. Having a plan gives him peace of mind and he gets a good nights rest.

Over the course of the next weeks, Harvey realizes he was right about that conversation coming back for him in a bad way.

The day after the confrontation had gone down was mostly the same, however, Harvey didn’t see Mike much that day. It is only later that he realizes that he has fucked up and Mike is showing his upset by… Well, by not being his friend.

Suddenly Harvey is confronted by all the little moments in a day where he and Mike have friendly interactions that boost his mood and make him smile. It is such a cliché that he only notices them after they’re gone.

When Mike comes in to hand him stuff there is no more banter, he doesn’t grin and ramble his findings, just reports them in an even voice. He doesn’t stop for hotdogs. He doesn’t hold doors or waits at the car. And he doesn’t come into Harvey’s office to complain about Louis, bringing his work to finish it there.

Mike is just like any other employee.

And he is not the only one who notices. Donna hasn’t commented yet, but she gives him apologetic eyes through the glass when Mike brings her her morning coffee without acknowledging Harvey. Or when he leaves after reporting what he found in a matter-of-fact way.

The whole experience is soul crushing and Harvey has no clue what the hell he is going to do about it, since it is so far out of his comfort zone that he never prepared a contingency for it.

So, he sits in his office watching Mike walk away over and over again unable to do anything. The great Harvey Specter doesn’t know insecurity like this. But then again, the great Harvey Specter has always been an armor for plain old Harvey, who is human like everyone else.

It frustrates him to the point of self reflection, a place he tries to avoid, because if he’s honest he has made enough mistakes that he doesn’t want to confront himself with.

However, after weeks of suffering a corporately polite cold shoulder he is quite done with it all. He is upset and frustrated, an emotion mostly aimed at himself, and desperate for a solution to get one of the positive interactions in his life back. He hates the gray feeling, like a cloudy sky when there was a bright sun predicted.

Most of all, he is lonely.

Now, Harvey has been lonely for years. Law school should be the place to make friends, but being older than the others with a set of trust issues that would make any interaction difficult, the sneaking world of lawyer backstabbing wasn’t the place for him to make friends. And that had just never stopped.

The only person he had let his guard down to before now was Donna. She is his rock and has been so for years. But she has had to win his trust, proven herself over and over again. She’s not like Mike.

Mike, who came crashing into his life and made himself at home there even if he had no business doing so. Mike, who he gave a way to ruin his career and trusts not to use it. Mike, who had him opening up like he’s known him for much longer. Mike, who is the first person he has ever had such a click with. Mike, who he lost because he’s too stubborn.

Fucking hell.

He is out of his chair before he knows it, replying to Donna’s inquiry of where the hell he’s going with a noncommittal grunt.

Over the past week Mike has been able to ignore him better, since Louis has a big case and thus has locked all the associates and paralegals alike in the library again. It’s a guarantee that Mike will be there and while Harvey hasn’t thought out all the details of the confrontation, he knows he has to act if he wants to end this misery.

So, he walks through the hall, determined to pull Mike out of there and say… Well, say something. He’ll figure it out.

However, when he gets to the library there is a slight delay in his plans as his eyes fall on Mike. He has to take a moment to look at his associate, who is sitting on a table with a few people surrounding him while they’re taking a break of some sort. (The fact that Louis is nowhere to be seen the obvious reason there even if a break).

Harvey isn’t focused on why there is a break, though. He is looking at Mike sitting om that table, elevated above the others a bit as he talks, likely telling a story of sorts.

Sitting at his feet are Rachel, Stacy, the blond associate guy and a few others Harvey doesn’t recognize. Mike is sitting at a side of the room, but it still feels like all movement is orbiting him and when he lands the punchline, Harvey sees not only his immediate surroundings laugh, but others, who are more far off, smile as well.

Everyone in that room is touched by Mike. Whether directly or indirectly, he is affecting the mood inside. He is a beacon of hope in Louis’ hellscape. And no one is being jealous like Harvey was, they accept his presence and bask in how he lightens the mood.

Mike is a sun, his light and warmth reaching everyone, Harvey realizes. Mike is the sun in a solar system and Harvey can be a planet without loosing light to the others. Mike isn’t dimmer for Harvey just because his light reaches more people and it is stupid to think like that.

He can also be part of the group Mike cares for, he just has to not be an ass about it. Something akin to a plan is forming as he watches Mike listen intently to something the blond associate is telling him, nodding along.

The peace is broken by the arrival of Louis, spotted by an associate, who whistles as everyone scrambles back to their place.

Mike looks up in his scramble, meeting Harvey’s eyes, while his own widen. He is surprised by his presence there and Harvey knows this is the moment to start making it up to him, so when it becomes clear not everyone is getting back to their chair in time, Harvey turns to Louis, who is coming closer by the second and calls out: “Louis, hey!”

Louis immediately whirls to him, eyes narrowing in suspicion. He walks up to Harvey, chest puffed up, blind to all else, and asks: “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Checking up on you,” Harvey replies with a shit eating grin, knowing that comment is going to push all of Louis’ buttons.

“You? You are checking up on me?” Louis asks indignantly. “It’s none of your business how my case is going. I don’t need you to check my work. But if you must know it’s going great, I’m getting a settlement so big my father is finally going to be proud of me.”

In the background, Harvey can see the last people pretend to have been working the entire time, so he shrugs: “That’s cool, Louis,” in a bored tone. “I was actually here to get Mike.”

It takes Louis a moment to re-calibrate to the new conversation topic and tone. When he does, he is right back on his indignant train. “You can’t have him! I am in charge of the associates as you so often seem to forget and your little golden boy is still also an associate. I need him on this project and you’re not getting him.”

“Louis,” Harvey says, his tone serious and he hates that he is semi-sucking up to Louis, but this is important. “I get that you have to deliver right now and Mike is your associate too. However, Mike is my only associate and I need him real quick.”

Again Louis’ eyes narrow as he asks: “How quick?” because of course that tactic would work.

“Just have to discuss something with him,” Harvey answers.

Louis thinks about it for a second, enjoying the smidgen of power he has in this conversation, though Harvey knows he could just pull Mike out without asking. The only reason he’s even bothering is to help the associates and paralegals inside, why he doesn’t know, but it feels nice to do something.

‘Everyone likes helping someone. Feeling useful. Even those who don’t think they do, secretly do. It’s human.’

Mike’s words echo around his brain and a weird repulsion of his good feeling goes through him that he suppresses. He is here to make it up to Mike, not discover that he has even more squishy emotions than he’s prepared to admit to today.

While he’s going to a vast range of emotions in a short time, Louis is thinking. Harvey’s thoughts are cut off by Louis saying: “Okay. Ten minutes. And that’s all you’re getting, not a second longer.”

“Alright, Louis,” Harvey says, sidestepping Louis to look back into the library and calling out: “Mike!”

Mike looks up, raising a brow, almost reluctant to make contact with Harvey. Harvey tries to ignore that as he waves him over. Luckily Mike is professional to come without making a scene and together they step out of the library.

The hallway is deserted, everyone knows to avoid Louis and his mania. And for a moment Harvey and Mike face each other. Then Mike, ever the professional, asks: “Is there something you needed me for?”

“Uhm, well, yeah,” Harvey says scratching his eyebrow, suddenly unsure of what to say when faced with Mike.

Of course Mike catches on to his nervousness (and god does he hate that he even is nervous), because Harvey can see him wanting to ask what’s wrong and physically stop himself by biting his lip.

“I have been a dick. To you,” he starts out, just biting the bullet since he sees no other way he is getting this out. “And I’m sorry for that. These weeks have sucked. You did nothing but be nice and I was an asshole for no reason. So, uhm, can we be friends? Again? Please.”

The fact that Mike’s mouth opens in surprise says a lot about the whole situation. Once he has picked up his jaw, however, Mike says: “Oh, uhm, wow, I didn’t expect that. Are you going to keep being a dick?”

“What?”

“I mean, probably not, since you’re apologizing, but I don’t know, maybe you just realized it, but you don’t know how to stop yourself from doing it again and then in a few months we’ll be right back here and that will suck even more, so-”

“Mike.” Harvey decides to put an end to the rambling. “I am going to try to not be a dick. Be nicer and shit. Is that good enough?”

That earns him a scrutinizing look, before Mike nods and smiles: “Yeah, course,” because of course Mike is forgiving like that as well.

“Good,” Harvey nods, feeling awkward now that the conversation is done.

“Kind of how you just helped out with Louis,” Mike says, either not noticing or caring about the weird silence that fell. “That was nice of you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Harvey denies it immediately.

For a second he thinks that he fucked up again, but then Mike grins mischievously. “Whatever helps you sleep at night,” he shrugs, before whispering: “I know you caaaare.”

“Shut up,” Harvey rolls his eyes, grinning as well.

“Alright, alright,” Mike lets it go. Then looks back to the library, before asking: “How did you convince Louis to let me go anyway?”

“I told him we had a discussion and you’d be back in a few minutes,” Harvey shrugs.

“You’re sending me back there?” Mike asks.

“Well,” Harvey says, like he’s contemplating it. Then he breaks by smiling: “Of course not, I’m breaking you out.”

“Hell yeah!” Mike pumps his fists and the two quickly leave, giggling like school kids, who just pulled a prank.

Donna looks relieved when they return together, bantering like they’ve always done. She meets Harvey’s eyes for a moment and he has to look away to not get uncomfortable at how proud she looks of him.

Mike hides in his office for the rest of the day and the next day he has coffee for Donna and Harvey, just barging into his office, already talking.

The clouds have pulled away and the sun is peeking out again. There is a bit of tranquility that has returned, a sense of stability.

And if Harvey holds doors more often and greets people he doesn’t have to, well, then that’s his own business. There’s nothing wrong with building his own little solar system.

A/N:

I’ve just re-watched Heartstopper before writing parts of this and I feel you can see my sponge tendencies in some parts lmao, sorry

Also, Harvey is a deeply repressed person with very unhealthy coping mechanisms and I attempted to highlight that a bit here (he needed the therapy)

#RR writing #tw: abandonment issues #suits tv show #suits fanfic #suits tv #suits #harvey and mike #mike ross #harvey specter #donna paulsen #louis litt #original characters #OCs #request

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