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niningtori · 28 days

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see me | chapter four: together (final)

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: after another failed relationship, you're ready to accept your fate as hopeless. choi beomgyu has other plans, though. or, beomgyu s your best friend's little brother and he's tired of you treating him like a kid.

genre: romance, angst, angst with a happy ending, best friend's brother au

word count: 3.4k (whoa)

notes: hi friends! happy easter to all who celebrate!! sorry this took me a bit to get out. i just love this story and this beomgyu so much i didn't want to rush it. i hope you're all satisfied with how this ends. see end of work for more notes :)

you're so out of it jia can't fucking take it anymore.

"hello? come back to earth, please," she says, waving her hand in front of your face. "are you ever gonna tell me what the fuck happened with doyoon?"

it's been a few days since your return from the beach. suffice it to say, one painfully awkward drive was spent with you trying not to openly stare at beomgyu and him focusing intently on the scenery outside.

you're actually a little surprised by her question. you genuinely haven't thought about your conversation with doyoon since you had it — you've simply been too preoccupied by the revelation that beomgyu has feelings for you.

"nothing much, really. he apologized to me and asked to get a drink sometime."

"what the fuck?! what did you say?!"

"i said no," you reply simply. she's quiet for a moment before her face contorts into a deep frown.

"why do i get the feeling that that's not what's bothering you so much?"

"because it's not," you admit with a sigh.

"then what is it? you've been weird ever since we got back."

you're torn for a while. how do you explain to your best friend that her kid brother is in love with you? or says he is, at least.

"... it's about beomgyu. he—"

"oh, so he finally told you, huh?" she interrupts with a knowing look and you're absolutely flabbergasted.

"t-told me what?" you try feigning ignorance. maybe she's got it wrong?

"that he's been in love with you ever since he first saw you."

"how the fuck did you know that?!" you ask incredulously.

"you're my best friend and he's my brother. i know you two too well," she shrugs.

"so you knew this whole time and didn't tell me?"

"well, to be honest, it was painfully obvious, but i didn't wanna embarrass either of you and it's, frankly, none of my business."

"i... wasn't he just drunk? i don't believe it…” you trail off.

"what do you mean?"

"i mean, he can't really mean it. he doesn't know what he wants. he's just a kid and—"

"i'm going to stop you right there," she says sternly. "you may be oblivious, but don't you dare dismiss his feelings to make yourself feel comfortable. his feelings are real and he doesn't deserve to have you completely disregard them just because you can't face them." you flinch at her harshness.

"b-but he's never even hinted at it!"

"never even hinted at it, my ass. that boy was all over you," she snorts. "did you really not notice anything this past week?" your eyebrows knit in confusion as you think back to all of the times the boy (man?) had interacted with you. suddenly, the unassuming touches and glances beomgyu shared with you hit you at a mile a minute. oh god, he was flirting? he was, wasn't he? and you just ruffled his hair and called him cute.

but you're not done denying, denying, denying.

"i just don't understand. how could he like me when he's always with somebody new?"

"has it ever occurred to you that that's because he wants you to see him as a man and not the child you're so convinced he is?" you fall silent at this. no, it has never occurred to you, but now that she's said it, the puzzle pieces are starting to fit together in the most gut wrenching way.

"so he's been fucking around for years because he wants to prove something to me?"

"more or less, yeah." your head is spinning at this. so his feelings are sincere?

"i... i don't know what to say."

"i figured you wouldn't," she hums.

"what do i do?" you ask with a newfound sense of panic. this is real. beomgyu actually love, loves you.

"well, what do you want to do? it all depends on how you feel about him."

"to be honest, i've never seen him as anything other than a brother," you sigh.

"and what about now?"

"i... i don't know. i'm just confused," you whine, digging your face into your hands and slightly tugging on your hair. when you think of the kiss you two shared, your heart skips a beat and butterflies arise in your stomach. well, that's new.

"honestly, i'll consider that progress. it's better than being brother-zoned."

"jia!" you exclaim exasperatedly. "you're not helping. the boy i've thought of as a literal brother is in love with me and i've unknowingly treated him like shit for years."

"yes, but i know and he knows that you didn’t mean it. look, even if you don't like him at all, don't you think he deserves a proper rejection at the very least?"

"you're right," you relent. "you’re always right.”

“well, i know,” she muses. “but before you decide anything, i want you to think about who’s been by your side all these years. when you didn’t have anyone else, who could you count on?”

“i —” you begin.

“don’t answer yet. just think about it.” and think about it, you do.

the more time you’re left to think about what happened with him, the more confused you feel. beomgyu isn’t a child anymore, that much is clear, but does that mean you can undo the near decade of thinking of him as one? he’s handsome, sure, and that kiss nearly knocked you off of your feet, but can you really see him as a partner? as a man?

you’re not really sure. plus, what would happen if it didn’t work out? the choi’s are like family to you. they’re more of a family than your actual family ever was or ever will be. is it really worth gambling such an important piece of your heart for something that could easily end in heartbreak? but then, it’s broken, either way. can you really face the choi family again when you know beomgyu is in love with you and has been for such a long time? no, you can’t. not in good conscience. you’ve, intentionally or not, ignored beomgyu’s feelings for years now and you can’t ask him to bottle them back up for your own comfort.

you decide it's best to just talk to him.

beomgyu doesn’t think that this is a good idea at all, actually. but his friends told him that rotting in his bed and crying like he has been for the past few days is even worse. when they put it like that, it didn't seem right to refuse their suggestion to have a double date with yeonjun. even still, he told them he wasn't ready to see someone new, but they said he was never seeing you in the first place. that sure shut him up. either way, it would be casual and yeonjun just needs a friend for his date's friend.

his "date" is nice enough, but she seems to have not gotten the memo that he's here as a wingman and not much else. she's trying to draw his attention by not-so-discreetly placing her hand on his thigh. gross. he genuinely thought about pretending to have a stomachache to cut the date short, but yeonjun had the bright idea of inviting the girls over after dinner. so now, as he sits on the couch of his and yeonjun’s shared apartment, he prays for god to intervene and end his suffering.

a knock on the door pulls him out of his thoughts. please, god, let it be the maintenance man telling them they have to evacuate because of a gas leak. he almost jumps out of his seat to get to the door first, but yeonjun is closer and he says he’ll get it. fuck. before he can catch a glimpse of the mystery person at the door, his date speaks again.

“gyu?” the girl asks tentatively.

“mmm?” he says, turning back around to face her.

“do you like me?” she says while, once again, putting her hand on his thigh. alright. enough is enough. usually, he would tell her to beat it and leave it at that, but ever since you told him he doesn’t treat girls the nicest, he’s decided he’ll try to be better. he takes her hand from his lap into his and opts to just be truthful.

“to be honest, i —”

“beomie?”

oh, he’d recognize that voice anywhere, even in his sleep. his head whips around almost comically fast and he unintentionally yanks his hand from his date's as he stands straight up.

“w-what are you doing here?” he asks, incredibly flustered.

you should say something, but your eyes can’t help but linger where his hand was joined with the hand of the very lovely girl sitting beside him, even after he’s pulled away. oh my god. you’re interrupting, aren’t you? he’s moved on, but you’re standing there like an idiot. you need to say something.

“i-i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to intrude,” you choke out. you don’t know why, but you feel like you’re about to cry. you feel so embarrassed. why did you even for a second think that this would play out any differently?

“everybody out,” beomgyu says firmly.

“what?” his date asks, genuinely in shock.

“i said, everybody else needs to get out of here. right now. besides you,” he says while gesturing to your pitiful frame.

“gyu, i live here,” yeonjun argues.

“out,” beomgyu repeats. yeonjun lifts his hands in surrender and leads the bewildered girls out of the apartment.

now it's just you and beomgyu.

after the door shuts, the silence is as unbearable as it is palpable. beomgyu is staring at you with the same intensity as he was the night he confessed to you. you feel so vulnerable — so seen — you honestly kind of wish you had just snuck out with everyone else.

“beomie, i’m so, so sorry. i didn’t mean to ruin your date. i can go, i just —”

“do you know what i've noticed about you?” he quietly interrupts. you’re so taken aback, you’re stunned into silence. he sighs before he continues. “the way you say things are okay when someone fucks you over. it’s okay to be mad at me, you know?”

“beomie, i’m not mad!” you insist. “you’re single, after all. i’m the one who —”

“i’m single, but i still told you i loved you a few days ago. why wouldn’t you be hurt?” once again, you’re left speechless at his maturity. when did he become more mature than you? or was he always this way, and you just never noticed?

“or is it that you just don’t care enough about me to be upset?” he's the one who looks small now and you worry you have the power to break him. he deserves an honest answer, so you think about how you felt when you saw his hand intertwined with that girl’s and your heart feels a nasty pang.

“i… i am upset,” you pause and process that ugly feeling. “really upset, actually. but not angry.”

“i’m sorry,” he says, not without conviction. “yeonjun needed a date for his date’s friend, and i planned on rejecting her, but i’m really sorry i hurt you.”

“... it’s alright,” you say carefully. “i understand. and i still think you don’t owe me anything, beomie.”

“but i want to owe you,” he says quietly.

“what do you mean?” you can’t help but ask.

“i want to owe you. i want to make it up to you, and i want you to make it up to me.” you think you understand what he means. he wants you to make it up to him for not seeing him as he truly is all these years, but you just can’t understand his thinking.

“why?” you ask softly.

“why would you ask when you already know why?” he answers quietly with a sad smile. because he loves you.

“but why? why do you like me? you could have anyone. i’m wishy washy, i’m insecure. i’m just a mess, beomie. and i don’t want you to waste your time with me.” you hate the way your voice shakes. you wish, for once in your life, that you could be brave enough to say what you need to say without hesitating. you feel as small as a child, and in front of beomgyu of all people. but the dynamic you’ve always thought you had is becoming more and more twisted as you realize you’ve been very, very wrong about him, and maybe about yourself, too. beomgyu is not some kid. his feelings are not so easily written off, and that becomes even clearer when he says his next words in a haste.

“don’t talk about yourself like that,” he says sharply, and his seriousness immediately derails your train of thought. “i’m not looking for anybody else. i… i don’t want anybody else. and i would never, ever feel like my time is wasted with you. every moment i spend with you is important to me.” you don’t mean for your eyes to get hot. truly, you don’t, but the boy’s words are so kind you’re unable to control yourself.

“you really love me?” you ask at the risk of seeming annoying. you just have to be sure.

“i do,” he says patiently. “i always have.�� he isn’t sure what to make of you asking this. he has no hope now, but if it makes you feel better to hear him say he loves you a million times over, so be it. you’ve been hurt enough all your life, from your parents to your partners, if he’s able to comfort you even just a little bit, even if it’s never reciprocated, it’s enough for him. so he continues.

“i’m… i’ve always thought about how to say this, so i’m sorry if it’s just too much for you. if it is, then just stop me, okay?” you can’t help but nod. “i just have to say that, to me, you are the most beautiful person in the world. i’ve wanted to tell you that since i was 14. i know you’re sad and i know you’ve been hurt before, and i wish i could take it all away. i’ve always wished i could take it all away. i know you think you deserve everything that’s happened to you so far, but i want you to know that that's not true, and it kills me that you’ve ever felt that way. i love everything you say you hate about yourself, because you’re you. i know you want to change, and i want you to know that i see how hard you’re trying. those flaws that make you a mess, or however you put it, only make me love you more because i can see how hard you’ve worked to get where you are. and if you don’t love me, even if you never do, that’s… it's okay. i just want you to be happy. and if i can be selfish, i want to be the one who helps you get there.”

you don’t try to stifle your tears anymore. they are now flowing freely and your breath is heavy in your throat. he understands you. he sees you for everything that you are and were, and everything that you’re trying to be. has anyone ever made you feel this safe before? has anyone ever made you feel this loved and understood?

you think back to what jia asked. when you didn’t have anyone else, who could you count on? if you didn’t trust any man in the world, you could trust beomgyu. that’s just how it is. you realize, even from the first night you met him, you’ve always been relying on him, in a way. why else would you feel so comfortable telling him about your anxieties mere hours after you spoke to him for the first time?

things were one way then, but they could be different now. beomgyu loves you in a way that previously seemed inconceivable to you. what did you do to deserve this boy — this man? not a fucking thing, in your opinion, but now that you know how he really feels, is it possible to accept anything less than the love he is now presenting to you? maybe he’ll wake up one day and regret everything he’s said up until now, but you’re far too selfish to give up the heart he’s begging for you to take as your own.

you don’t know why, but you fling yourself into his arms, reminiscent of how you did all those years ago when he was just a teenage boy and you were just a heartbroken girl. he holds you like he did before, with an overwhelming sense of patience and security. he traces his hands lovingly up and down your back.

“okay. okay, i want to try. i can’t promise that i’ll be perfect, i can’t even promise to be good, but i’ll try, okay? you’re so, so good, beomie. and i'm sorry for not realizing it sooner.”

he pulls away from your embrace and your cheeks feel hot when you catch his heated gaze. he looks down at you and if his look wasn’t enough, his next words certainly are:

“can i kiss you?”

“yes, beomie,” you whisper.

"call me gyu," he says hoarsely. you gulp and pray he doesn't hear it.

he softly, reverently, pushes your stray hairs behind your ears and you realize he’s done so many times before. mainly when you were sad, but this time is… different. when his lips lock with yours, you're stunned into oblivion. there's so much fire behind it, but still, there’s a gentleness you’ve never known. as if he’s afraid of breaking you, he holds you like you’re a precious gem. usually, kisses are take take take from you, but he gives you so much love and care you feel like you’re floating. is this what love is supposed to feel like? so safe and so, so warm?

he parts from you far too soon for your liking. his breath is labored and his cheeks are flushed. you look at him in confusion.

“i-i’m sorry, i just can't. if we keep going, i won't be able to control myself. i'm gonna —”

“it's okay, gyu,” you whisper. “we can keep going.” he understands what you mean without you having to say anything more.

“are you sure?” he asks, just to be safe.

“i'm sure,” you answer without missing a beat. his lips curl up and he leads you to his bedroom, hand holding yours so tightly, it’s almost like he’s afraid to lose you.

the night is spent with beomgyu praising you like he’s never seen anything quite like you before. you feel his devotion with every passing moment and you can’t believe this is what you’ve been missing all these years. you’ve never felt so good, so cared for, in all your life. when you’re finished, and he’s cradling you in his arms, you’re both struggling to catch your breath. he looks at you like you hung the moon, but what you don’t know is that you’re starting look at him like that, too.

you’re so anxious. as you pull up to the choi’s family home in the passenger’s seat of beomgyu’s car, you can’t help but wring your hands together. this could be very good, or very, very bad. you can’t help but feel like you’re… betraying? the choi family by dating beomgyu. they’ve taken you in as family, but you’ve taken beomgyu as your own. do you regret that decision? well, you can’t say you do when beomgyu grabs your restless hands and comfortingly squeezes them before telling you “hey, it’s alright. don’t be nervous. i love you. they love you. everyone here loves you. just be yourself and i’ll take care of the rest, okay?”

“okay,” you say shyly. you and beomgyu have been working on your self esteem. it was pretty slow going at first, but you’ve been pushing through. now, after three months, you’re a lot better, but there’s still room for improvement. beomgyu is nothing if not patient, though. after all, he’s been waiting for 8 years. how could he not be? and so he patiently coaxes you out of the car and into the house.

you two find your way inside and are greeted by his parents, jia, and yijun. nobody bats an eye at you two walking in together — they just greet and hug you as per usual, but their smiles drop and their faces turn serious when beomgyu announces he has something to tell everyone.

“guys, uh, we have something to tell you all,” he says, lacing his fingers with yours, “we’re together now.” you could hear a pin drop with how quiet the room is. mrs. choi is the first to break the silence.

“h-how long? how long has this been going on?”

“three months,” he says cautiously. again, the room is silent.

“... only three? damn it!” mr. choi exclaims.

“i told you guys it hasn’t been very long,” jia sneers. “now pay up.” beomgyu’s parents grimace while pulling out their wallets and stuffing cash in jia’s hands.

“pleasure doing business with you,” she teases with a shit-eating grin.

“um, guys? what’s going on? i’m kind of pouring my heart out over here,” beomgyu says irritatedly.

“oh, honey. we know. we’ve known you liked her since she first stepped foot into our home. she was the only one who didn’t,” mrs. choi replies with a wave of her hand and your cheeks can’t help but heat up to an impossible degree. beomgyu finally pieces everything together while you’re still scrambling to understand what’s going on.

“oh my god, did you all make a bet to see how long it’d take for us to get together?!” beomgyu exclaims.

“more or less,” mr. choi says nonchalantly. realistically speaking, you and beomgyu should be angry, but all you two can do when you lock eyes with each other is laugh.

“so you’re okay with it?” you ask meekly.

“of course we are!” mrs. choi says. “we couldn’t ask for a better match for our boy. we were just waiting for you to see that, too.” you can’t help but feel your eyes go sour. you hug his parents and they rub your hair. why would you think they’d do anything other than accept you? they always have.

that night, after all the board games and movies and laughter, you go out for some fresh air. you aren’t surprised in the slightest to see beomgyu sitting on the back porch steps, almost as if he’s been waiting for you.

“there you are,” beomgyu says with a grin blooming on his face. you sit next to him, so close your thighs are touching. you lean your head against his shoulder and you sigh in contentment.

“that wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asks.

“not at all,” you smile, “but did everyone in the world know about us besides me?”

“pretty much, yeah,” he giggles and you playfully smack his chest. after your laughter dies down, beomgyu senses some hesitation from you. it feels like you want to say something to him.

“what is it?” he asks. you pull away from him and stare into his eyes. they look especially starry tonight.

“i have to tell you something,” you say, voice trembling slightly.

“mhm?” he nods.

“i think… actually, i know i love you, gyu. and i’m sorry it took me so long to get here, but i really do.” your eyes water when you see beomgyu’s doing the same. he looks so relieved, as if your words in particular are the ones he’s been waiting for all his life. and they are.

“i love you, too, if you haven’t guessed that already,” he says softly. “and i’d do everything all over again if it meant i’d get to be with you like this.” his eyes close and he leans in. you meet him halfway and press your lips together in a chaste kiss.

notes pt. 2: and that's it for them! i actually wrote a bit of smut for this, but i don't think it'll ever see the light of day i fear. as always, feedback is appreciated! i'd love to know what you all think :)

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cafeinthemoon · 9 months

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More Myself Than I Am - Chapter VI

Chapter 6/?

Wordcount 2k

Title The Mafia's Offer

Fandom Bungo Stray Dogs

Pairing Akutagawa Ryuunosuke x reader

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 💛

Warnings: a (well deserved) threat of bone crushing from reader to Mori-san

Tagging @lasidollily @samyayaya @anzanity (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: So... I'm so sorry if this title is not as good as it sounded in my head, but I couldn't find a better one 😅 I've been wanting to post this part of the story for so long, because the main scene in it - the conversation between reader and the PM'S head - was basically the reason why I've started all of this in the first place. In this one, I tried to portrait reader in her purest version, something that she would only manage to be in a strange place, out of her family's sight: an unpolished, but powerful being, as fearless as a wild beast in a moment , but as sensitive and shy as she used to be in her regular days in the next. However, my fav part was to work on Elise's depiction, in which I've put some scifi vibes by describing her as having a deep, almost symbiotic connection with Mori, given the mimicked gestures between the two.

I've spent this whole day working on this chapter because I wanted to post it today, and I did it haha Hope you enjoy it :)

Also let's change the GIF for today 💜

Dr. Ougai – if that was his real name – didn’t show half of the surprise you did when he put his eyes on you. Instead, he exhibitted an undeniable contentment for finally meeting you in that place.

– Welcome, y/n-san – he greeted you, indicating the chair with a gesture of his hand while taking the seat behind the table – I understand that everything is happening too fast, and I apologize for this, but we have no choice. I hope Akutagawa-kun has treated you with courtesy.

You didn’t reply, neither you took a step toward the table. You glanced at Akutagawa, who was as silent as yourself, but somehow he convinced you to accept his boss’ invitation.

That didn’t go unnoticed by him.

– Well, since these are how things are going between you, it will make everything easier – he commented with a chuckle – Anyway, the pleasure for receiving you here is all mine.

As you took your place on the chair, you laid your hands on your lap in a frail attempt to hide the embarrassment that made them tremble.

For a moment, none of you talked, so that even your breaths were audible, echoing around that large room, increasing the tension. You felt your body getting colder with the growing sensation of danger, in a way that the sound of a needle falling on the carpet would make you stand up and run.

And that was how you almost screamed when a door was opened somewhere around you and hurried, childish steps approached your spot. When you looked at your right, you saw a blonde, little girl with a red dress and a doll in hands approaching the table and sitting upon it, dangling her legs while giving her undivided attention to the doll, which you noticed to be a miniature of herself.

The girl didn’t look or say anything to the presents, not even to Dr. Ougai, who just kept quiet, with his elbows on the table, observing her with a discreet smile. You didn’t know why, but something about that child created an uneasiness in your senses, the kind of thing which reason you’d only understand if you had the chance to activate your ability.

But I don’t think I’ll have an opportunity so soon.

Before you thought of anything in this sense, the head of the Mafia started the real conversation.

– As I believe Akutagawa-kun has explained to you, the situation is not favorable, being worse for you than for your sisters – he started – Because of this, I ask you to concentrate in what I have for yourself instead of them, at least for now.

You swallowed.

– What do you want from me?

His response to this was to open a grin.

– So practical... That’s better. As you can see, it is not without a reason that we took interest in you. As an esper, you need a place where you can find use for your talents. We from the Port Mafia can offer you that. So, this is my deal: work for us, and you will have the opportunity to solve your immediate problems.

You opened your mouth, then closed it again without a word. He was inviting you to become part of a criminal organization, having him as your superior?

As taking your silence for doubt, Dr. Ougai continued to talk, with a calmness that implied his hope that your answer would be positive, for you wouldn’t have reasons to refuse it.

– Of course, your reward will come accordingly, not only for you, but for the ones you are trying to protect.

– Are you talking about… – you whispered.

– Your elder sister, who I used to help – his reply was cold and direct – If you say yes my invitation, the Port Mafia will provide the protection you need right now regarding your condition as an esper with an unregistered ability. If you solve this matter, you can concentrate in the other ones.

Your hands held on to each other, squeezing themselves tight.

How much does he know about what happened in our apartment?

– The other ones?

– We have our ways to keep in touch with the events outside. I am aware that things are going to get difficult for you because of what happened to that young man, not only because of the facts themselves, but because of what might be said about your participation in them.

You frowned.

What are you talking about?

Instead of giving you a clear answer, he opted for a kind of advice.

– Believe me, the authorities in this country are not so willing to work in favor of peculiar people like you. If you want to be treated with any justice, you will need help.

Well, he was right in this. You had no experience in juridical matters, and no money to get a lawyer who would be willing to defend a murderer with stranger powers.

– We can also cover all the expenses of Viginia-san’s treatment – he continued – Which, as you already know, are not low.

You moved in your seat, uncomfortable.

– My sister…

The smile that Dr. Ougai has been maintaining for the entire conversation faded a bit, something that didn’t please you at all. Your eyes turned to the girl’s direction and saw no change in her attitude.

It’s like she’s in a stand by mode. How strange.

The voice of the Mafia’s head brought your attention back to him again. He wasn’t smile anymore.

– Let me give you some advice, girl. I can see how selfless you are, so if worrying about yourself is not enough to convince you, think about her. You already told me about the whole situation. After all she has done for her family, she deserves all their support – and lowering his tone a bit – And, speaking as a doctor, I have to tell you that her condition might reach a critical point if it doesn’t receive the attention it needs right now. I understand it’s unpleasing to hurry you up, but the truth is that you don’t have much time.

You remained in silence at all those words. Yes, given your circumstances, you could say that Dr. Ougai was right: if you didn’t do anything, it could be too late to save your sister; it could be too late for yourself. And no one in this world would help you. There was so much to consider yet so little time to decide… However, that wasn’t the reason for your quietness.

You had something different in mind.

Your fingers started tingling in nervousness.

– I suppose you’ve planned all of this… – you raised your eyes at him – Right?

His expression of triumph – the certainty that you were going to accept his deal – was shaken; at the same time, the little girl’s legs stopped dangling and she raised her head at you. The synchrony between their gestures wasn’t less than disturbing.

– What? – Dr. Ougai mumbled.

– Meeting us at the most convenient occasion, helping my sister, never accepting any payment… and now, this – you started, your fingers moving upon your lap – Everything comes with a price, and in this case the price is to work for you. You waited patiently, never worrying, because you knew that sooner or later, we would end up here, having this conversation.

He shrugged.

– More or less. But it is true that I’ve been observing you for a while. Still, I didn’t have half of the work I thought I’d have to bring you here, thanks to what happened in your house.

Now you were furious. If you were the only one who was involved, you could endure the manipulation and deceiving, but having your family’s circumstances used in a bargain like that was something you just couldn’t accept.

Your powers were awakened, and the entire place was taken over by your expanded consciousness, from the book on the shelves thrown on the ground to the glass of the windows exploding in thousands of shards, one by one, the deafening sounds of your unleashed wrath in each of them; the carpet was floating on the spots that haven’t objects upon them, and even the table was shaking; the familiar pressure appeared behind your eyes while you stared at the man in front of you, eager to drown him darkness in your eyes. The girl on the table looked around, nervous, but didn’t move from her place.

– And how can you be so sure that I’ll say yes to this deal – as you raised your hand in a threatening gesture, the papers upon the table started trembling – Instead of crushing each bone in your body for messing with my family?

Despite the strong feelings you’ve been experiencing, you couldn’t help complimenting Dr. Ougai’s self control before the sight of your technique, which you knew it was far from beautiful: not showing the slightest sign of disturb, he just leaned an elbow on the table, with his chin on his palm, and observed you with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, as if your powers, when activated by anger, were as inoffensive as when you showed them for the first time, just as an example. Thanks to them, you were also able to look in the depths of his energetic signature, confirming that his calmness wasn’t a mere act. The girl, less scared now, stared at you with a similar expression, and now that you were using your ability, you finally understood the connection between her and the mafia’s leader.

He’s an esper like me, and this girl is his ability.

Before anything else happened, you sensed something hot wrapping itself tight around your raised wrist, limiting your movements. You looked at it and found out it was one of the stripes of Akutagawa’s Rashomon. It didn’t hurt you, however: it was just as a silent way he found to tell you that you reached a line which you shouldn’t cross. You felt a slight unbalance in your emotions, and the stripe slowly loosened its grip as your ability was deactivated. You sighed, putting your hands on your lap again.

Ignoring everything that just happened, Dr. Ougai spoke, as calm and serious as before.

– The choice is yours, but I must warn you that you will upset some people with this, including your sister, who will not like to hear that you ended up involved in more troubles, my Elise-chan here – for the first time, he referred to the girl, who was dangling her legs and playing with the doll again – And, of course, the true mentor of this proposal. All of this if you don’t count on facing all the struggles we just discussed on your own by the way.

You frowned.

So, if he’s not the mind behind all of this... who is it?

– True mentor? What do you mean?

Instead of giving you a verbal response, his gaze turned from you to the young man by your side. You followed Dr. Ougai’s look and, once your eyes landed on Akutagawa, he turned away in an obvious attempt of hiding his embarrassment, the black stripe moving away from your wrist as to follow his gesture.

– Akutagawa-kun…? – you mumbled.

With your face burning, you turned back to the head of the Port Mafia; on his face you noticed a sort of satisfaction with what he was witnessing, but nothing was said about that.

– It’s true that I had an interest in bringing you to our side since the start, but most of our actions were his idea – he explained – I just gave him my permission. In addition, he asked me to take care of your sister, and I did, and the rest of the story is known by you.

You didn’t reply, and he just continued to talk, now observing his subordinate with a mixture of pride and comprehension.

– You know, he has a sister too, who has only him to count on for a long time. It’s not without reason that he took the lead in this particular case, for he understands your feelings better than anyone.

#bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa ryuunosuke x reader #akutagawa bsd #bsd akutagawa #akutagaway ryuunosuke bsd #bsd akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd mori #mori ougai

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anonymityisfunwriter · 2 years

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Enough For You - Chapter 1

Enough For You Chapter List

"You're not coming back," you say, watching him as he watches the still body of water in front of the two of you. "You're going back to her."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't - Don't do that."

"Don't apologize?"

"You don't mean it - we both know that you don't mean it."

"I do mean it. I am sorry."

"If you were sorry, you wouldn't be doing this. If you were sorry, you would have given me half a chance."

"Things like this happen all the time. Sometimes these things just don't work out. We gave it-"

You cut him off, your eyes now glassy, but you clench your jaw to avoid them spilling in front of him. "Don't say we gave it our best shot. I gave it my best, but can you honestly say the same when I always knew that you'd do this? I knew that I was never ever going to be enough for you. I never stood a chance against a person who doesn't exist."

"She does exist - she does."

"Not the person that you've built up in your head. That person's not real. I would know. I've tried. A force to be reckoned with, but not in a way that overshadows you. Intimidating but not emasculating. Beautiful, but not overstated. Loyal but not clingy. It's never enough for you."

"Please, I don't want to fight. I've made my decision."

You nod stiffly. You're not going to fight for someone who won't return the favor. You won't tear up the last remaining shred of self-respect you have. Even for him. "One day, not tomorrow, probably not even a year from now, but one day - you'll look back and you'll realize that all I ever wanted was to make you happy. And I hope that you find that happiness with her, because on that day, I really hope you look back and don't regret what you're about to do. I won't be here to put the pieces back together. I deserve to be more than a consolation prize. I deserve at least that much."

"You deserve so much more than that."

"But all I ever wanted was to be enough for you."

As he walks away, all the memories of the life you'd built together play back.

6 years.

6 years you'd played second fiddle.

You didn't know it before. But you certainly knew it now.

You didn't even know it this morning when you'd awoken in his warm embrace. All the laughs, tender moments, all the love you'd shared - it was all gone. And worst of all, you weren't even sure if any of it was real.

You could yell after him, beg him, plead and lose every shred of dignity that you had.

You could tell him about the life you'd created together. Maybe he should know - that would get him to stay. You knew it would.

But somewhere deep down, you knew that it would change nothing. He didn't want you, and forcing that on him, well, then you'd really be nothing more than a consolation prize.

This wasn't your fairytale, you weren't the happily ever after that he wanted. And you needed to be more than that this time around. You were going to find someone who dreamed about you the way he dreamed about her. Someone who would glow and gleam when they talked about you. Someone who found you exciting and endearing.

Someone who you would be enough for.

4 Years Later...

After only a few days with Peggy, and with your parting words constantly echoing in his head, Steve couldn't take it anymore.

You were right. The woman that he'd dreamed, hoped, and longed for was not one that existed.

And once that realization struck him, he took another look at the other woman he had. The one he actually loved.

After pulling some strings and some very, very difficult conversations, he was back in the time that he actually belonged in.

He walked up to the last place he'd ever seen you, where you so heartbreakingly parted. And hoped that you'd kept Tony's parting gift. You'd always loved this little cabin on the lake.

Back when you dreamed of a future with Steve, it was the place you envisioned having children and growing old together. It was everything you'd ever wanted and more.

It was strange to him that it was already snowing, when he left fall had barely begun. He smiled at the fond memory of you gushing about how much you loved fall and everything that it brought.

He kept his head down, thinking about all the things he would say to you. How he'd apologize for everything he'd put you through. That you were enough for him. That he was sorry he got caught up in some deluded fantasy, when what he really wanted was you.

Even though he was normally a confident man, it seemed like the frail kid from the 40's was still somewhere inside of him because he was clearly the one in control now.

He took another deep breath and knocked on the door.

It took a few seconds but when he heard the door opening, he held his breath. There was no hiding that he was practically bouncing with anticipation at merely the thought of seeing you. He knew it was only a few days, but still he missed you so much. So, so much.

So he was more than a little confused and shocked when Bucky was the one opening the door.

Bucky choked, his eyebrows furrowing at the sight of his friend, "Steve?"

"It's good to see you, Buck."

"What are you doing here?"

Steve's a little taken aback by Bucky's defensive question, Bucky didn't even seem a little bit glad that he was back.

In fact, he seemed more upset and shocked than anything else.

And he was even more confused by the fact that Bucky didn't let him in but instead used his body to block the little crack in the doorway. Looking over his head, Steve couldn't help but wonder where you were.

All he wanted to do was to see you. To beg for your forgiveness. To make his case for another chance. A real chance this time.

"Where is she? I need to talk to her - to - to tell her that she was right about everything."

"And it took you 4 years to figure that out?"

"4 years? No, I was supposed to - wait, what?"

"It's 4 years later," Bucky plainly states, his voice not revealing a single emotion.

"Why are you acting like this? Why won't you let me in?" There's a silence that he doesn't like, answers that he knows he doesn't want to hear. He shoves his best friend back, forcing himself into the house. "Where is she?"

Bucky tries to keep him out, but it's obvious that he failed.

Now, the least he can do is barricade him from the secret he swore he'd always keep. Both of his hands on Steve's chest, he tries to forcibly remove Steve without causing too much of a ruckus. "You need to leave."

But it's too late because the secret he's held as close to his chest as possible is now a giggling mess at having escaped from the room Bucky told him to stay put in.

A troublemaker, just like both his parents. The sandy-blonde haired boy is now tucked behind Bucky's legs, slightly anxious at the strange man that just entered his home.

Bucky turns to the little boy, crouches down to meet him eye-to-eye, lovingly smoothing his messy hair and clothes. "I thought I told you to stay put," he gently scolds.

The little boy stays quiet, refusing to speak in front of the stranger. Instead, he whispers in Bucky's ear, "Who's that?"

Bucky scoops the boy up, still not looking at his former best friend, and rests him on his hip. "This is Steve, Grant. He's, uh, he's an old friend."

"Did he know Mommy?"

"Yeah," Bucky says, his mouth in a tight line. "He did."

Bucky is completely unsure of what he's supposed to do right now. This - this was never supposed to be a scenario.

Steve wasn't supposed to come back.

He made his choice, and until today he was completely positive that there was no way to undo the decisions made on that fateful day.

And like the good man and father he always wanted to be, Bucky knew where his loyalties lied, where his priorities were and would always be.

All of his attention off of Steve, he places Grant in front of the TV. It was going to be more screen time than he liked to give the young boy, but special circumstances deemed it necessary.

He didn't rush as he placed his son's favorite movie on - something that was certain to keep him busy for the next hour or so.

He didn't even really care that he was keeping Steve on edge. Or that Steve was practically shaking with desperate anticipation. He'd barged back in to their lives - the least he could do was wait for him to take care of Grant.

Steve notes the lack of urgency from Bucky. And it stung that though once upon a time they'd been each other's priorities, Bucky took no issue with putting him last now. Steve couldn't really even fault him for that. He deserved at least that much.

When Bucky finally sat down in front of him, Steve steels himself for all the answers that he knew he wouldn't like.

"How old is he?"

"Almost 4 years."

The gears were turning in his head, not wanting to make assumptions, but all the signs were pointing to that very answer. "4 years?"

"Come on, he looks just like you," Bucky says, looking at the little boy who is now enthralled with his movie. "She even gave him your name. She gave you that, not that you'd ever know it."

"Grant," Steve nods, though it was barely enough to soothe the ache that he'd missed so much with his own son.

He ignores the not-so-subtle jab, he knew Bucky, how protective he was over those he cared about. He did his best not to take it to heart.

"Grant Rogers. She always liked the idea of having a nice clean name."

"I have a son?" he whispers in disbelief.

"You've had a son. For four years."

It's impossible to miss the anger and disdain in Bucky's voice. It hurts Steve even more.

"I didn't know - she never told me."

"She knew. She knew when you left," Bucky admits.

"She knew?" Steve angrily whispers. "Where the hell is she? I deserve to hear this from her."

Bucky's metal hand drops on the table in absolute disbelief that Steve even thinks he has a leg to stand on here.

There were consequences to his actions, he made his choice, Bucky could not and would not allow anyone to speak about you with any disrespect in the home you shared. "She doesn't owe you anything! And if you think she does, you should leave." Bucky pauses, trying to recollect himself before his son overheard his angry outburst. His voice drops as he continues to speak, "She said that she knew you would have stayed. You would have stayed and pined away for Peggy for the rest of your lives. She didn't want to do that to you."

"She should have told me," Steve whispers, shocked at Bucky's angry reaction.

He knew you and Bucky had always been close. The three of you understood each other better than anyone else ever could.

But you and Bucky - you'd always had a connection that not even Steve could understand. Perhaps it was that you'd both done dark things that you would carry for the rest of your days.

Maybe it was the twin flame between you and Bucky - one soul in two bodies. But it was clear to Steve that something had changed in the time he'd been gone.

He still couldn't believe that somewhere along the his time traveling adventures a wire had become so detrimentally crossed. 4 years was a long time for two people to get even closer.

"Should we have gone back to the 1940's to tell you that, Steve? Don't put this on her. You made your bed. Now lie in it."

"I just want to see her. Where is she?"

"She's gone."

"When will she be back?"

"No, Steve," Bucky emphasizes. "She's gone."

Horror struck in Steve's heart. You couldn't be gone - that wasn't - he couldn't... There is no cohesive sentence that Steve can string together to properly portray the desperation and ache in his heart.

He'd lost people. He'd lost so much, but never once did he even stop to think that you wouldn't be here.

"How?" he asks, his words hollow.

"It was an accident. A drunk driver," Bucky bitterly chuckles. "A drunk driver took out a freakin' Avenger."

"How long ago?"

"It's only been a couple months. Grant still asks about her. Try explaining that to a toddler."

"I- I don't know what to say. The- The day I left she told me that she hoped I didn't look back on that day and regret the choice I made," he shakes his head. "She said that she wouldn't be there to pick up the pieces for me. That she deserved to be more than a consolation prize."

"She told me that in the beginning. After you left, I mean. I found out she was pregnant and all I wanted was to take care of her. To take care of the last part of you that we both had. And for six months, she kept me away saying, 'we both deserve more than to be somebody else's consolation prize'. But I never saw her like that. It took some time, but I'd like to think that I made her happy. That she loved me as much as I loved her."

"I'm sure she did. And I'm sure you did. It wasn't like you had a tough act to follow."

"Do you want to meet him?"

Steve looks at the boy, Bucky was right, he looked so much like him. But there was the softness and beauty that you possessed in his face. He nods and stands up slowly, as if any sudden movement would change Bucky's mind.

"Hey, bud. Can I introduce you to someone?"

"Okay," Grant says, still only half paying attention. Bucky pauses the movie and gestures over to Steve. "This is Steve. He used to work with Mommy and me. Can you say 'hi'?"

"Hi," he meekly waves, tucking himself behind Bucky's arm. "Do you wanna watch with me?"

Steve holds back all the emotion that floods his entire body, trying to make it through this. So he simply nods and sits next to the son he never knew he had. "I'd like that."

Meanwhile, somewhere in a dark, decrepit cell:

You sit there, curled up in a fetal position, clutching the chainlink fence. Your eyes seemed permanently opened, always on guard and flickering back and forth, yet they so looked glazed over and distant. You'd been trained for this very scenario. Captured. Tortured. Experimented on. And God knows what else. But there was nothing that actually prepared you for it.

There was one thing that mildly helped. Maybe there was some scientific reason or actual logic behind it. Like maybe it helped with your perception of the time that was passing. Or maybe it was simply the song you sang, however bad of a singer you were, that reminded you of your son. How you'd hum it to him as you stroked the back of his head. Or it reminded you of the night you and Bucky danced in front of the fireplace. But it helped. You swore it did.

You hum to yourself, "Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day. Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away."

Next Chapter

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hero-deserves-to-be-happy · 5 months

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Double Date [Hero x Brandi and Bebe x Mikhael Fic for OMORI Rare Pair Week 2023]

When Brandi discovers that Bebe and Mikhael have made their relationship official, she asks her friend, Hero, to accompany her on a double date with them in the hopes of convincing her sister to raise her standards. Hero hasn't even thought about dating in years, and though he knows this isn't a "real date," a fun evening out, the company of a good friend, and maybe even a surprisingly deep conversation with Mikhael might just get him thinking that maybe he'll be ready to put himself out there again someday. And, who knows, maybe "someday" might even be closer than he thinks...

Relationships: Hero/Brandi [Intimidating Girl] Developing Relationship and Friendship. Mikhael [The Maverick]/Bebe [Short Hair Girl] Established Relationship. Hero & Mikhael Friendship.

Characters: Hero (POV Character), Brandi [Intimidating Girl], Bebe [Short Haired Girl/Fountain Girl], and Mikhael [The Maverick].

Genre: Slice of Life, Fluff and Humor, Double Date, First Date, Developing Relationship, Heart-To-Heart Chats, Open Ending, Hopeful Ending, Post-Good Ending, Hero Deserves To Be Happy

Rating & Warnings: Rated T for brief depiction of college partying and some mentions of drinking. Implied/Referenced Canonical Character Death. Some OMORI spoilers.

Link to work on AO3. Full text below the cut.

A/N: Thank you so much for supporting our newest contribution to the "Hero Deserves To Be Happy" genre (if that isn't already a genre, it definitely should be)! We think that Hero and Brandi's relationship (whether romantic or platonic) is very underrated and have always been extremely fond of Mikhael x Bebe so we were really excited for the opportunity to write about them for OMORI Rare Pairs Week 2023 hosted by @omorirarepairweek Day 6 Prompt: "Double Date." Thank you for reading! 💙

“Tequila shots?” asked Hero with a concerned expression. Brandi huffed as he took a seat beside her on the rickety metal bench that was one of the only pieces of furniture in the backyard of her sorority house. She quirked an eyebrow at him and his bottled water, then stared him dead in the eyes as she threw back her shot glass.

“I don’t want to hear it tonight, Hero.” As she shook her head, Hero’s face flushed. He hadn’t meant to pry into her business or offer any sort of judgment on her beverage preferences. He had just been a little surprised. Brandi was the one familiar and often the only other mostly-soberface at the wild college parties he often found himself roped into, and while she usually indulged in a beer, a hard lemonade, or a rum and coke, he had never seen her throw back multiple shots of tequila. She always insisted the cheap booze they had at these parties wasn’t worth the headache she’d have the next morning, but he supposed it was none of his business—even if she was his friend and he was worried about her.

Before Hero could begin to apologize, however, Brandi huffed, then shrugged her shoulders. “My sister, Bebe, called earlier—completely ruined my night.”

“Is everything alright?”

“That bozo, Mikhael, finally made it official.” Rolling her eyes, she reached for another shot of tequila from a nearby table.

Hero scratched the back of his neck. “Well…uh…they have been talking for a while, haven’t they?”

“Don’t remind me,” huffed Brandi rolling her eyes. “I guess I was just hoping he’d eventually get bored before he asked her to be his girlfriend.”

Hero sighed. He didn’t know Mikhael very well but from what he had heard from Kel he was so desperate for a relationship that he was actually paying girls to pretend to be interested in him at one point. Hero couldn’t imagine him giving up on a girl who was actually interested in him, but he wouldn’t say that to Brandi.

“I have no idea what she sees in him…” She huffed shaking her head bitterly again. “I’ve tried to tell her he’s bad news, but she never listens to me.”

“Well…you know…the Hooligans aren’t really that dangerous, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Hero tried to reassure her with a gentle smile. “Sure they mildly inconvenience people and engage in some petty theft, a little vandalism, and some bullying, but they’re not hardened criminals or anything like that so I’m sure Bebe is safe—”

“Yeah, I know they’re pathetic,” Brandi interrupted. “It’s not about that. It’s about Mikhael being a moron—running around town in that stupid wig, calling himself ‘the Maverick,’ and acting like he’s in Dragon Ball Z.”

Hero chuckled awkwardly. “Well…uh…it’s good have hobbies…and…you know, maybe he’s just…spirited…?” His voice hitched at the end of his sentence, as if he wasn’t entirely sure himself.

Brandi huffed—raising her eyebrows at him before she replied in her blunt, matter-of-fact way, “You’re too nice for your own good, you know? Sometimes people are just morons. You don’t have to reach to find something positive to say about them.”

“I’m not…reaching…” The crack in Hero’s voice implied otherwise. He had always been a bad liar. “I’m sure Mikhael has lots of good qualities. I mean…Aubrey is friends with him.”

“And does she have anything nice to say about him?”

Hero swallowed hard—his face growing warm. The honest answer was no. Aubrey had nothing but complaints about Mikhael even harsher than the ones Brandi had. “You know, Aubrey is not a very…openly…complimentary…person…” he stumbled, and Brandi just blinked at him with a huff.

“That’s what I thought,” she said shaking her head, but she sighed. “You know, as much as it pains me to admit it, the real problem here is Bebe. If she had higher standards and didn’t want to go out with him, it wouldn’t matter how much of a bozo Mikhael is. But she’s so…trusting and naïve.” Rolling her eyes, Brandi frowned, but Hero’s expression softened. He could tell she was worried about her sister, even if she wouldn’t admit it.

Brandi sighed again. “If I was home, I could keep a better eye on her, but I’m not sure what I can do from here…”

With a tilt of his head, Hero patted Brandi reassuringly on the arm. “I’m sure Bebe will be okay, and you know, even if you were at home, she probably wouldn’t let you tag along on her dates or anything anyway.”

“Yeah…I’d have to go on a double date with her and Mikhael which would be awful.” Brandi stopped abruptly—her brow furrowing, as she tilted her head thoughtfully. “I wonder if that would work. Maybe if Bebe saw me with a guy who was actually decent, she’d realize she should raise the bar. I just don’t know who that would be—it’s been slim pickings out there ever since I broke up with Trent.”

“Well…I have a lot of fraternity brothers who would be happy to go out with you. They think you’re…” Hero stopped—thinking of the best way to clean up his fraternity brothers’ penchant for referring to Brandi as his ‘hot friend.’ He cleared his throat. “Very attractive…”

Brandi shook her head. “No, I don’t date frat guys. I already told you. They’re barely a step up from Mikhael.”

“Okay…but some of them are nice…”

“You don’t count,” Brandi interjected with a pointed stare. Hero blushed. He hadn’t been talking about himself. “You’re not a frat guy—you’re a den mother. They just keep you around to do the cooking and cleaning and laundry.”

Hero supposed this was all true. He had basically been begged to join that fraternity, and ever since had been giving his fraternity brothers kind and helpful lessons about how to prevent their house from once again turning into a toxic wasteland. In exchange for teaching them how to wash windows, use fabric softener, and cook food that wasn’t instant ramen, they had affectionately given him the nickname “Mama.” He decided it would be best not to tell Brandi about that, but from the look she was giving him now, he was sure she already knew.

“What about a pre-med major? I have some friends in my classes I could ask. Steven is a really nice guy, and I think he’s here tonight actually…”

Brandi blinked at him, then asked with a blunt, matter-of-factness. “Is Steven the guy currently choking on that beer bong?”

With a roll of her eyes, Brandi tilted her head towards the far corner of the yard where, sure enough, Steven was surrounded by a rowdy group of cheering people guzzling copious amounts of alcohol from a neon beer bong.

Hero sighed. “You know, he’s actually very smart and very polite…when he’s…not drunk…”

“I’m sure,” quipped Brandi, before she shook her head again. “Listen Hero. The goal here is to get Bebe to raise her standards. Drunk party guys are not going to cut it.” She sighed. “I’d need to take someone like you. You’re the nicest guy I know. If I showed up with someone like that, then maybe she’d start thinking she could do better, but that’s not going to happen if I show up with beer bong boy.”

Hero swallowed hard, and his face flushed red. “You…you want to take me? I…I don’t know…” he stumbled, but thankfully she cut him off.

“It’s okay. I wasn’t going to ask. I figured it would be insensitive all things considered. I know you’re not ready to put yourself back out there.”

She paused, and Hero fidgeted with his hands. He wasn’t sure if it was more that Brandi knew him so well or if he was just obvious about it.

“Um…it’s not…I mean it is…but I just meant…” With a heavy sigh, he stopped—running a hand through his unruly hair. “I haven’t been on a date since I was 15. I think I’d be terrible company.”

“Eh,” shrugged Brandi dryly. “Something tells me you’d be better than at least half the first dates I’ve ever been on. I’ve been on some pretty bad dates.” Brandi laughed, and Hero tried his best to stifle a chuckle behind his hand. He felt guilty for laughing. “But I get it. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I know you don’t feel right about dating anyone when you still…” She stopped abruptly, but Hero nodded. She didn’t have to finish that sentence. It was no secret he really hadn’t been interested in dating at all since Mari… It just didn’t feel fair to her, to her memory, and to whoever Hero could be with. They all deserved better. He swallowed hard. Maybe someday he’d be ready to put himself back out there, but he wasn’t there yet.

“I mean I hope you’ll put yourself back out there someday…” Brandi continued with a shrug of her shoulders. “If not for yourself then for the sake of the world and all the women out there desperate for decent men,”—she chuckled dryly—“but I just don’t think this is the way to do it. I mean, it wouldn’t be real, and”—she grimaced, gritting her teeth—“Mikhael would be there.”

As Brandi rolled her eyes, Hero stifled another laugh, but his brow furrowed thoughtfully and he tilted his head. “It…it really wouldn’t be real?”

“No, of course not.” She waved her hand dismissively. “We go out to dinner all the time. It would be just like that.”

“But Mikhael and Bebe would think we were dating…Do you really think they’d believe that?”

“Bebe believes Mikhael was in Top Gun,” quipped Brandi. “He was a toddler when that movie came out.”

A slight smile tugged at Hero’s mouth in spite of himself, but he bit his lip. “I just don’t feel right lying to them.”

Brandi shrugged with a lopsided smile. “You don’t have to. It’s not lying if you just leave out some information, and if someone runs with the information they do have, then that’s their problem.”

Hero chuckled and gently teased, “You’re going to be an awesome lawyer.”

“I know,” laughed Brandi playfully bumping him with her elbow, but she tilted her head at him. “You’re really considering it, huh?”

Though his face flushed, Hero somehow managed a nod. “You’re…one of my best friends, I…um…I want to help.”

Brandi’s expression softened, and she playfully ruffled his hair. “You’re really sweet, you know that?” Hero’s blush deepened. “Tell you what: if you agree to do this for me, we can take my car back to Faraway Town for the weekend and I’ll pay for all the gas and everything. You’ll get to see your family and your friends, and you’ll miss out on that awful keg party your frat is hosting. There’s a couple of unpleasant hours with Mikhael, but we’ll pick a good restaurant so hopefully the food will be worth it. Then we come back here and carry on like nothing ever happened—what do you say?”

Hero took a deep breath, but a smile twitched in the corners of his mouth as he met Brandi’s eyes. “Okay,” he said. “I’m in.”

*-*-*

“And then I said, ‘No. No, Mr. Mayor you don’t have to give me the key to the city. It was all in day’s work for I, The Maverick…” Mikhael flipped his hair—upsetting his wig which he swiftly readjusted, shifting in place in his booth at the nicest economically-priced Italian restaurant in Faraway Town. It had been difficult to pick a restaurant in Mikhael’s price range after Brandi had staunchly ruled out Gino’s—which Hero, somewhat guiltily, suspected she had done for his sake knowing that he had taken Mari there on their first date years ago. Hero appreciated her sensitivity but felt guilty for making things more difficult for everyone. After all, Hero supposed it didn’t really matter where they went—it was going to feel strange going out anywhere after all this time and after everything that had happened. Even though he knew it wasn’t a real date, Hero had been worried about it for days and spent far too long trying to pick out his clothes and get ready. He even picked up a potted plant for Brandi to be polite—an orchid which Basil had assured him was low-maintenance. Hero supposed that suited her best. She had always been so independent, strong, and self-reliant. Plus, he thought with a slight flush in his cheeks, it was pretty like her.

Hero cleared his throat pushing the thought away and turning his attention instead to Bebe who was staring at Mikhael positively enraptured. Despite what Brandi said, Hero honestly thought it was kind of sweet how smitten Bebe was with Mikhael. She was perhaps a little infatuated and misguided, but she was sincere and Hero could tell she thought the world of him. How Mikhael felt about Bebe, however, had yet to be seen and was likely the real problem.

“Wow!” she sighed wistfully. “You’re so amazing, the Maverick.”

“I know,” he hummed with a somewhat smug grin.

Brandi pressed her hand to her forehead and shook her head—rolling her eyes for what had to be the twentieth time that night. Hero sighed. It had only been half an hour. Their food hadn’t even arrived yet.

She shot Hero an exasperated look as she reached for her nearly empty glass of wine. “Regretting your decision to agree to this yet?” she quipped through her teeth. Hero stifled a laugh, but he shook his head.

Surprisingly enough, if he was being honest, Hero was actually having a really nice night so far, but he didn’t think it was the right time to tell Brandi that. Perhaps he never would, but he did sheepishly admit, “No.”

“I suppose it is better than that keg party…” Brandi twisted her mouth to one side, and Hero shrugged—his brow furrowing.

“I hope my fraternity’s okay. I made a bunch of food before I left and cleaned up the house and did everyone’s laundry. I even left some emergency numbers on the fridge and twenty bucks.”

“You’re such a mom,” Brandi teased. “You know they’re just going to use that money to buy beer.”

Hero sighed. “I left them a note asking them please not to use the money for alcohol.”

“Oh, a note. That’ll stop them,” Brandi replied with a dry sarcasm. With a slight shake of his head, Hero sighed again.

“Don’t worry about them. They’ll be fine. And who knows, it might be good for one of them to pass out on the lawn. Some lessons they need to learn the hard way, and if they trash the house, you make them clean it up—okay, Mama?” She shot him a lopsided grin, and Hero tried his best not to laugh.

“Brandi…” he began to protest, but she interrupted—pointing her finger at him.

“It’s like I always say—they can’t treat you like a doormat if you don’t let them. Saying ‘no’ every once and a while isn’t going to kill you. I say it all the time.”

“Most of the time,” teased Bebe, and Brandi rolled her eyes.

“Nice to see you’re acknowledging I exist,” she quipped as Mikhael continued to ramble on about “spirit bombs” and his “true form” or something.

“Of course, I acknowledge you. Just because I have a boyfriend now, doesn’t mean you’re not still my sister. You have a boyfriend too—you know what it’s like. You’re not going to forget about me just because you’re with Hero now, right?”

Hero’s face flushed—unsure of what to say and still very uncomfortable at the prospect of lying to Bebe. Future-lawyer, Brandi on the other hand jumped in immediately, “There isn’t a guy in the world that would make me forget about you, okay?”

“Okay but do you think there’s anyone who could make my sister forget about me?” Mikhael interrupted. “And my brother too?”

“Why do you want your siblings to forget about you?” asked Hero in concerned confusion.

Mikhael dramatically leaned across the table motioning for them all to come closer then he whispered, “Because they’re evil.”

“Evil?” scoffed Brandi. “How are they evil?”

“They always want to spend time with me, and they’re always asking me all these questions—trying to keep tabs on me so they can report back to my nemesis and help him thwart my plans. And they keep wanting to play evil hide-and-seek.”

“Hide and Seek?” Brandi repeated with an exasperated expression.

“Evil hide-and-seek,” Mikhael forcefully corrected.

With a bitter shake of her head, Brandi reached for her wine. “I know I’m going to regret asking this, but how exactly is hide-and-seek evil?”

“Well, they’ve got these cardboard cutouts of themselves, and they hide them all around the house which makes them really hard to find. It’s horrible.”

Bebe wrapped her arm around him. “That sounds really awful, but Daphne and Bowen are so nice, maybe if you talk to them and tell them you don’t want to play anymore, they’ll understand.”

“I can’t talk to them!” exclaimed Mikhael so loudly that several people in the nearby booths turned to look at them. “They have spies everywhere, and they’ll just use what I say against me. I’m telling you—they are in league with the enemy. Your sister is too.”

“What?” Brandi asked, rolling her eyes.

Mikhael frowned, clinching his fist. “Don’t think I don’t know what’s going on here. You’ve brought my nemesis’s brother down here to spy on me. Well it’s not going to work!” Hero jumped backward in surprise as Mikhael jabbed his finger at his face. “I’m not going to tell you anything. So there!”

“I…I don’t understand…” stumbled Hero.

“Oh my gosh, Mikhael, grow up!” huffed Brandi. “No one is here to spy on you. This is just a date. I can’t believe you actually have a date, but since you do, calm down, put your big boy pants on and stop acting like a toddler.”

“I—I know!” chimed in Bebe in a shaky attempt to diffuse the tension. “What if we ordered this chocolate cake? It looks good right? And everybody likes chocolate cake.”

As Bebe held up the little advertisement set up on their table, Hero watched as Mikhael’s face fell just for a moment and he mumbled, “I…I…uh…” Then he stopped abruptly—letting out a melodramatic gasp and declaring far too loudly for a restaurant, “That cake could be poisoned! We can never be too careful.”

Bebe stared down at her hands. “Oh…” she said quietly. “Okay…”

“For goodness sakes, Mikhael, the cake isn’t poisoned,” hissed Brandi before turning to Bebe. “Don’t worry. I’ll buy you the cake, Bebe.”

“No…um…thank you, but it’s okay. I didn’t really want any anyway.” Bebe paused and sighed before standing up from the table. “I…um…have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

As Hero watched her go and watched Brandi get up from the table and chase after her sister, he also wished he had an exit strategy. Unfortunately, he did not and was left in heavy, awkward silence with Mikhael.

By the time their waiter came with their food, Hero had forgotten how long he had been sitting there in the heavy silence, swirling his straw around in his drink. He practically jumped at the chance to help the waiter pass out the plates of food, thankful Brandi and Bebe were still in the bathroom so he had something to do to make himself useful.

He was so busy setting the table that he almost didn’t hear Mikhael ask in a voice much quieter than any he had used all night, “Hey…uh…how expensive is this cake?” Mikhael reached for the advertisement Bebe had been holding up before, but when the waiter finally revealed the price, he set it back on the table with a somewhat defeated huff.

Hero bit his lip, unsure of what, if anything, he should say. He didn’t feel it was his place to pry especially since he didn’t know Mikhael very well, but he definitely had some sympathy for him, having once been that broke teenager who wanted to treat the girl he liked to something special but couldn’t afford it. It was one of his great regrets that he had never been able to take Mari out anywhere fancier than Gino’s when she had been alive, and he didn’t want Mikhael ever having to have similar regrets about Bebe.

“Hey uh…if you want to get that cake for Bebe—”

“Huh? What are you talking about? I was asking for me,” huffed Mikhael interrupting him, but there was a flush of pink in his cheeks.

“Oh uh…okay…” stumbled Hero, staring intently at his plate. He hadn’t started eating yet, thinking it was more polite to wait until the girls returned. Surprisingly, he noticed Mikhael was waiting as well.

“Bebe’s sister really hates me huh?” he mumbled folding and unfolding his napkin. Hero could tell he was trying and failing to appear nonchalant. “Do you think it’s because of the cake?”

“No,” Hero replied gently, shaking his head. “I think she’s just…worried about Bebe—just being a protective older sister.”

Mikhael frowned but wouldn’t look at him. “My sister loves Bebe. My brother too. They say she’s the best thing that ever happened to me. They always want to invite her over so she can teach her how to bake. She’s pretty good at it—wants to be a pastry chef now.” He paused and grinned then quipped, “I mean, she’s not as good as me but she’s alright.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Hero’s mouth, and his expression softened. “Bebe is a really nice girl, isn’t she?”

Though he tried his best to frown and shrug it off, Hero couldn’t help but notice the slightest flush of red in his face. “Well…yeah…I guess…She’s pretty awesome. Everybody thinks so. And you know…I’m awesome too, but not everybody appreciates that…” His smug smirk faded just a little. “But Bebe does… Brandi doesn’t though—faking a whole relationship just to break us up.”

“Wha—what?” choked Hero, though he was sure his blush had given him away.

“Listen, I’m not stupid. I knew from the first time Bebe mentioned it that it wasn’t real,” Mikhael shrugged. “Aubrey says you’re never going to love again.”

With a heavy sigh, Hero bit his lip. “Aubrey said that?”

“Well…I think what she actually said was that she hopes you put yourself back out there because, you know, you’re like a brother to her or whatever and she wants you to be happy, but she knows you won’t.” Mikhael sighed, twisting his mouth to one side. “But I dunno…maybe she’d think differently if she was here tonight.”

“I doubt it,” Hero chuckled awkwardly. “Aubrey could always tell when I was lying.”

“Yeah, but you’re the only one here who’s actually having fun tonight. That doesn’t sound like someone who’s never gonna date again.”

Hero blushed. It felt strange being called out by Mikhael of all people. He twisted his hands. “It’s…not like that. It’s not real.”

“Dude, you got her an orchid…”

“I was just trying to be nice,” Hero insisted hurriedly. “I…haven’t been on a date in a really long time, and I—” He stopped, realizing only then that he probably didn’t need to explain himself to Mikhael, but Mikhael just tilted his head and shrugged his shoulders.

“You wanna date Brandi for real?”

The idea gave Hero pause, as did the fact that a resonant “no” did not immediately come to mind. The truth was he had never really thought about it. If he was being honest, he supposed up until this point he had agreed with Aubrey that he would probably never love again. He was okay with that, but now… ever since she had brought it up, ever since he was actually out at a restaurant on a date even if it wasn’t real… He just wasn’t sure anymore.

“If you do, you already have an ‘in’ you know?” Mikhael continued. “Brandi hates everybody, but she doesn’t hate you so…there you go.” Mikhael laughed before he took another drink of his water, and Hero sighed.

“She can do better than me.” Hero’s eyes widened. He hadn’t meant to say that aloud. He was half expecting Mikhael to laugh or make fun of him, but Mikhael just stared down at his food.

He muttered so quietly that Hero almost couldn’t hear him, “Like me and Bebe…”

As Hero watched Mikhael hang his head and absentmindedly push his food around his plate, something twisted in his chest.

“No,” he reassured him, shaking his head with a kind smile. “You and Bebe are just fine. Here…” He paused, pulling his wallet out of his pocket and handing a 20 dollar bill to Mikhael. “Why don’t you buy her that cake?”

A wide, smarmy grin spread across Mikhael’s face as he took the money from Hero’s hands. “Sucker,” he muttered with a laugh before flagging down their waiter to order two pieces of chocolate cake.

Hero sighed. He supposed it was to be expected. It was Mikhael after all.

Before anyone could say anything more, however, Brandi and Bebe returned from the bathroom, and Brandi let out a heavy sigh and said, “Look Mikhael, I’m sorry if I came off a little too harsh. I’d like us to get along for the rest of the night.”

Mikhael’s eyes widened in surprise for just a moment, but he laughed and shrugged it off, “I guess, I, the Maverick, can accept your apology.”

Rolling her eyes again, Brandi sighed, but she turned her attention to her food. Hero stopped and smiled at her. She was so bold, so honest. The truth was, he admired that in her—he had learned that tonight.

He had also learned that Mikhael was full of surprises, and it turned out he had one more up his sleeve. When the two chocolate cakes he had ordered arrived, he gave one to Bebe, of course, but the other he gave to Brandi. Mikhael turned to Hero with an almost imperceptible wink as he handed the cake to a very perplexed Brandi and said, “Yours is from Hero.”

*-*-*

As they walked home that evening, Hero and Brandi hung back letting Mikhael and Bebe walk ahead of them, holding hands and laughing together about who knows what. Hero couldn’t help but smile at them. It was nice to see them so happy.

“Mission failed,” huffed Brandi sarcastically, but her mouth twitched in the corners. “Back to the drawing board I guess.”

“I don’t know…Mikhael’s a nice kid, and Bebe seems happy.”

Brandi sighed, playfully poking him in the arm. “What in the world happened when we went to the bathroom? You’re on ‘Team Mikhael’ now?”

“I thought you were on ‘Team Mikhael’ now,” teased Hero. “You did apologize to him. That was really nice of you.”

“Yeah well, after Bebe told me off for being mean, I thought I should probably try to be a little nicer. I’ve been told I’m pretty intimidating.” She laughed—shrugging it off. “I’d say I’m sorry for taking you out for nothing, but you actually seemed to have a good time tonight.”

“I did,” Hero admitted with a slight smile. “It was really nice. I’m glad you invited me.”

“Yeah, me too. It was nice to see you enjoy yourself again. It’s…been a while.” As Brandi’s voice faded, she shrugged her shoulders. The expression on her face softened. “I know we weren’t really close friends back then, but…I do remember what you were like—back when you were happy. I kind of miss it.”

Hero stared down at the pavement, and his shuffling feet before he mumbled, “Me too.” His face flushed. He hadn’t meant to say that. Brandi, however, didn’t seem to mind.

“Well…you know, if you do decide you ever want to put yourself back out there, you are going to make somebody really, really happy.” As Brandi smiled, Hero’s face grew warm, and he turned away from her. “Even though Mikhael was there, this is still one of the best dates I’ve ever been on. You’re sweet, attentive, a great listener, and you bought me flowers and cake. You’re a good one, Hero.”

“I don’t know about that,” Hero chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “But I…uh…I did have a really good time tonight. You’re really great, Brandi.”

“Aww…” she teased before patting his cheek. “You don’t have to flatter me.”

“It’s…it’s not flattery. It’s just…I…want to thank you. I…uh…haven’t been on a date in a really long time, and this was really nice.” Though his face flushed, he somehow managed to meet her eyes. “Even if it wasn’t real.”

He turned away and bit his lip again—unable to face that look of confusion in Brandi’s expression.

“Did you…want it to be?” she asked, with as much bold bluntness as he would’ve expected from her.

“I…I…” he choked, the words getting caught in the back of his throat as his twisting hands began to shake. He thought he should try his best to be honest—to be bold like her. “I don’t know,” he admitted, but hurriedly added. “I’m sorry…is that okay?”

Brandi chuckled, but she smiled at him. “Yeah…that’s just fine, Hero. Tell you what…for now, how about we say, some of it was real.”

As her warm eyes met his, Hero felt a real, genuine tugging at his mouth and something warm fluttering in his chest, and Brandi leaned forward and lightly kissed his cheek with a kind, “Thank you, Hero. For everything.”

Then, she ran up ahead and grabbed Bebe right before Mikhael could kiss her and ran into the house. Mikhael started huffing about having had his chance at a goodnight kiss so rudely stolen away, but Hero didn’t even notice. He just stood there, frozen on the sidewalk, gently reaching up to pat his blushing cheek where Brandi had kissed it.

“Some of it was real…” she had said. Hero wasn’t sure what part of it was real and which part wasn’t. If he was being honest, he wasn’t sure he was even ready to even begin to decipher it. But for now, he knew that some of it was real—that he had a wonderful night and that for the first time in a very long time, he felt like he could, maybe, just maybe, be happy again someday. And for now, that was more than enough.

#omori rarepair week 2023 #omori hero #hero omori #brandi omori #the maverick omori #omori the maverick #bebe omori #mikhael omori #omori spoilers #hero fic #hero fanart #our content

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homemade-ghosts · 2 years

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What do you think ricky and gina get from eachother that they don't get from anyone else?

Warning: This is about to be one very long post (and I’m only vaguely sorry about that lol)

Ricky & Gina have a foundation of deep, mutual understanding that allows them to feel comfortable and safe with one another in a way they themselves have acknowledged no one else can.

When Ricky leaves the musical because Nini accuses him of not taking it seriously, of wasting everyone’s time, of taking up space that should belong to someone else, someone who really cares, it’s Gina who convinces him to come back. In their very first on-screen conversation, no less. Of course, we can’t really blame Nini for operating on the assumption that Ricky doesn’t care about the musical because, by his own admission, Ricky only joined the musical to get her back. Nini doesn’t understand that it’s become something more to him now. Ricky, insecure about being completely out of his element with all of this musical theatre stuff, heads to somewhere he feels comfortable, in his element: the skatepark. It’s there that Gina finds him and reassures him that being an outsider to the theatre is not a weakness, like Nini had implied, but a strength. He brings a new perspective, keeps “everyone on their toes” and brings his own “style” to the role, a realness that no one inside the sphere of drama/theatre possibly could. It is only then that Ricky comes back and fights to prove he deserves his part in the show. Well, fights to prove it to Nini, Gina already knows he deserves it. I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that this first interaction between Ricky & Gina was not Gina trying to get Ricky to rejoin the musical out of the goodness of her heart. She overhears Ricky, after he quit, saying that, if he comes back, Nini will probably leave the show. Gina wants the lead, she wants to play Gabriella, so she manipulates Ricky into staying in the hopes that, when he comes back, Nini will quit and Gina (the understudy) can take Nini’s place. Even though Gina’s intentions weren’t honorable, there is still a level of understanding there. After all, in order to successfully manipulate someone, you have to know what they need to hear, you have to understand them.

So, Ricky & Gina understand each other at the skatepark, but it’s under false pretenses. It’s not until Homecoming, a few episodes later, that this understanding becomes genuine. Real. Ricky is back in the show, but Nini still hasn’t left. Gina’s plan didn’t work. So, she comes up with another plan (albeit, a half-baked one): go to the homecoming dance with EJ, Nini’s ex, in hopes that Nini will...see them together and get so upset she’ll quit the show? Yeah, even Gina knows this probably won’t work. I think she mostly goes because, having moved around so much, she’s likely never been to a school dance before, much less with a date (a fake one, but still) and she wanted that quintessential high school experience. Anyway, Nini isn’t even at the dance. Ricky, however, is. Here’s where everything changes. He waits for EJ to leave, slides into the seat next to Gina and, in effort to look out for her in the same way she looked out for him episodes before, tells her, “You can do better than EJ. That guy’s bad news.” When she strikes a nerve with the response, “You’re not exactly one to give relationship advice and when I want your opinion, I’ll ask.” He fires back by telling her that he thought she was classier than this, that she’s too ambitious for her own good, which heavily implies, to me at least, that he sees what Gina is doing here. He gets why she came with EJ: to parade their fake relationship in front of Nini. His comment hits way too close to home though and, on Red’s insistence, he finds Gina at the coat check area outside the dance to apologize. He admits that who she hangs out with, or doesn’t hang out with, isn’t any of his business. He shouldn’t have involved himself. When Gina asks why he did, we get the first verbal acknowledgment of the understanding that these two characters share. Ricky says, “Good question, I don’t know. It’s like, I’m an outsider to the theatre stuff, right? And you’re, like, an outsider to East High. I thought we sort of, like, got each other.” It feels as though there might be a small, barely recognizable hint of jealousy in his words, but more than anything, I think he is trying to remind her that he sees who she is and what she needs (he genuinely thinks, at this point, that EJ is not a good guy and that Gina deserves better) just as much as she saw who he is and what he needed at the skatepark that night. Following this moment, it’s established that they might have even more in common with each other than they already think. Ricky tells Gina he’s sorry for what he said, that his world and home life has been “a little upside down” and Gina commiserates, telling him he isn’t the only one with home drama -- but she doesn’t say it in a way that makes Ricky feel selfish or implies one of their problems is bigger than the other's. Her eyes soften, she gives him the briefest of smiles. There it is again: that connection, that understanding.

Pulled up in front of Gina’s house after Ricky gave her a ride home from the dance, Ricky thanks her. “You’re the reason I stayed with the show.” That night at the skatepark, he says, she set him straight. The facade, the manipulation, dropped the moment Ricky followed Gina out of Homecoming, but you can still see the remorse on Gina’s face. We can see how sorry she is, how she regrets her motives that night -- but, she realizes, she wasn’t lying. “I meant what I said,” she turns back to tell him, before she opens the car door to head inside, “that night at the skatepark, about you having your own style. I don’t even think I knew how much I meant it when I said it.” Then, after a night of just...getting each other, of laughing in the car, of “thank you”s, of talking about how much theatre, and the safe space it creates, means to both of them, Gina kisses Ricky on the cheek. Their faces linger, inches apart from one another. For the first (but certainly not the last) time, we see their emotional closeness manifest into a physical closeness. We see just how much this means to Gina, to feel seen in a way that allows her to drop her guard, to be vulnerable. Ricky made her feels safe, unjudged, not scary...and because of Ricky, Gina isn’t so much a new version of herself as she is all of herself.

Fast-forward to season 2 (I could keep talking about their relationship in season 1, believe me, but I’ve gotta move this post along or I’ll be writing it for a week and, next thing you know, a simple ask will become a 20-page research paper that no one asked for lol). Their relationship is a little strained and a lot confusing (at least for Gina, we don’t get Ricky’s POV, but I have faith that his perspective is coming, in a big way, in the upcoming eps of season 3). Gina came into Ricky’s life and helped him realize that change, though scary, is not actually something to be afraid of. He was learning to accept his parents separation, the fact that his mom had a new boyfriend, to embrace and feel confident in his newfound role as a “theatre kid” and to move on from Nini (he completely stop pursuing her after his night with Gina at Homecoming). He was moving on from the past, toward his future. All of that growth came crashing down, however, when Gina moved. When Ricky watched her leave at that Thanksgiving party, tears in his eyes, change, once again, became something that hurts, not heals. So, with Gina (his catalyst for change) gone, Ricky regressed. He clung to Nini because she was familiar, she reminded him of what life was like when they were together the first time around, when his parents were happy, when life was easier and everything was the same, nothing changed.

Ricky thought he would never see Gina again and, by the time she came back, he had already gotten back together with Nini. Now there was tension. Ricky tried to soften their relationship, to make it seem more friendly, not because he & Gina were ever really just friends, but because he was trying desperately to hold onto what he had with Nini, to repeat the past so he wouldn’t have to face the future. He couldn’t do that if he let himself see Gina as a romantic option again. This made Gina question if Ricky ever really liked her, romantically, in the first place. Was he just being friendly this whole time? Even with all this strangeness between them, it’s Ricky who Gina goes to when she misses her mom. They’ve talked about their moms before, both absent in their own ways, both making their respective children wish for more. So Gina knows, no matter what else is going on, Ricky will understand her. “I get that, missing your mom.” he reassures, and it’s like Gina lets out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding in. Here comes the relief, the comfort, of being understood. “I knew you would.” she smiles, “Sorry, there’s just some things I tell you that I don’t really tell anyone else.” Ricky agrees, “Yeah, no, I think we do that for each other.” He takes a half step closer to her after he says it and, just like that night in Big Red’s car after homecoming, that emotional closeness has manifested itself into a physical one. Ricky really means it, when he agrees that they tell each other things they don’t tell anyone else, too. I mean, Nini, Ricky’s actual girlfriend, didn’t even know he had moved from his childhood home into the apartment he and Gina were now standing in. In contrast, Ricky had not only told Gina that he had moved, but gave her his address too. He, unconsciously or not, knew Nini wouldn’t understand why it hurt to move away from the only home he had ever known. After all, Nini had actively chosen to move away from her childhood home to attend YAC in another state. Even when Nini decided to move back to SLC later that season, she had two loving parents who were in a happy marriage to come home to. Ricky & Gina were both being raised by single parents, both missing the mothers they had not wanted to leave. & Gina knew exactly what it was like to move somewhere unfamiliar and have to turn a house into a home (not only because she has moved around so much in general, but because she had also recently moved into Ashlyn’s house and, although she was grateful to Ash, it did not feel like a home to her). Gina knew Ricky would understand what she was going through. She was right. Ricky knew Gina would understand what he was going through. He was right. Even when Ricky had a girlfriend, Gina was still his person.

Now on to season 3 (or what we’ve seen of it so far). Ricky, having broken up with Nini last season and learned to embrace the change he once rebelled against, is finally free (song title reference intended). Gina is now dating EJ (having gotten together last season once she realized Ricky was no longer an option, romantically. Much the same way that Ricky got back together with Nini in s1 once Gina had moved away and was, say it with me here: no longer an option).

EJ is trying. He brings Gina congratulatory flowers when she gets cast as Anna in Frozen (the flowers look like weeds, but it’s the thought that counts) yet he doesn’t understand what a big deal this is for Gina, that this is something she’s wanted for seasons now. He tells her he knew she’d get the lead, which is meant to be a sweet complement, but comes off as if he thinks her being cast as Anna was a given. He doesn’t acknowledge or understand how hard she worked to get here. He can’t even let her fully celebrate this big win because, soon after giving her the flowers, he completely zones her out. The excitement fades from Gina’s face as she realizes all EJ can think about is his own success (or lack thereof) regarding directing the musical. Ashlyn, Gina’s supposed best friend who, having lived with her for the better part of last school year, should get how much finally getting the lead means to Gina...but she doesn’t. Ashlyn gets cast in the ensemble and starts spiraling, thinking about why she didn’t get the lead and trying to find someone (or something) to blame for that. Gina sacrificed her solo to audition with Ashlyn (& Kourtney) last semester, which is what helped Ash land the lead of Belle. Gina was nothing but congratulatory and supportive of her surrogate sister then, unfortunately, Ashlyn can’t/doesn’t really return the favor. After coming to terms with her own place in the show, Ashlyn does tell Gina she deserves the role, but it's too little too late. Ricky is the only person who understands what a big deal Anna is for Gina, not only because Troy was a big deal for him in season 1, but because he could see how hard Gina worked for it. Earnestly, he tells her, “I’m proud of you.” while shining his flashlight on her like a makeshift spotlight (not sure if this bit was intentional, but it’s interesting how Gina tells EJ that she’s had to deal with years of being “almost in the spotlight, but not quite.” and that night, Ricky gives her her very own spotlight). Ricky doesn’t make it about himself. He lets Gina bask in her own success. He lets it be about her. She laughs it off, but they both know she needed it and that he meant it.

When Gina tells EJ her mom is moving back to Salt Lake, he can’t even pretend to be truly happy for her because, once again, he’s too busy thinking about himself (this time, about how he might have to move away -- a fact which he actively chooses to hide from Gina, despite him being the first person she told about her big news). We don’t get Ricky’s reaction to finding out that Gina’s mom has moved back (maybe we will in an upcoming ep?) but I couldn’t help but think that Ricky would understand how much it means for Gina to have her mom back in her life, physically. Just like he understood last Valentine’s Day. Not only was EJ too preoccupied to celebrate, but even if he wasn’t, I don’t think he would understand what a big deal this is. EJ has a parent who is consistently present in his life, to an overbearing and controlling degree, and he seems to want to be out from under his father’s thumb. He actively wishes his dad had a smaller presence in his life and I don’t think he could relate to Gina actually wanting to live with and spend time with her mom.

Ricky is in awe of Gina. Her confidence and talent and her belief & understanding of him inspires him to be better. In season 1, he left the show twice because he didn't believe he was a good enough leading man for Nini, he thought he was ruining her big moment and, if we're being honest, because leaving was the easier thing to do. Now, Ricky gets it. He sees how important it is to show up for the people he loves and, instead of leaving, he puts in the work. He offers to sing "Love is an Open Door" with Gina so she'll get a chance to impress Corbin (and, tbh, just because he just wants to sing with her. Somebody tell that boy he's literally playing her romantic lead and he's about to get a duet of his very own, because I don't think he knows). He goes off to practice his lines once he sees how amazing Gina is in her role. He puts in the work to be there for her. He doesn't leave when things get difficult because he understands the best way to show how much he cares is to "show up and stick around."

In the end, it comes down to this: Ricky loved Nini, I’m not here to argue otherwise. Gina wants to love EJ (Alexa, play “I wanna love you, but I don’t” by Ben Platt) but what good is love, or the pursuit of it, when there’s no understanding? What is love if you are not truly seen by the person who loves you? Ricky and Gina understand each other, they see each other and, in time, I’m confident they’ll realize they love each other, too.

#take a shot every time i say some form of the word 'understand'#i tried to condense this but then i gave up i'm sorry it's so long #ricky x gina #hsmtmts #rina #gina porter #ricky bowen #asks

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roleplay-abiogenesis2 · 1 year

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It was said and done: MC's security was finalized, the members were clamoring in every which chatroom, demanding something - anything - other than secrecy. V had only spotted a couple chatrooms, a few conversations that he could parse within quick glimpses, having to vacate before any suspicion could arise... and things, predictably, weren't well. Well things in Rika's care needn't stay that way for long.

Wearily, Jihyun blinked, bowing politely to the security guards posted just before Jumin's penthouse -- he was granted access, of course, but Jihyun always found himself knocking anyways, breath caged in his chest.

It wasn't a farewell. It could be. It felt like one.

The door opened, and Jihyun walked in, spotted a familiar blur shadowed in the farthest corner of the room, and smiled. Oddly, his lips did that of their own accord.

"Jumin."

His throat feels like gravel, but he treks down that pathway regardless, footing uneven and destination unknown.

"... I," it's a familiar unfamiliarity, sitting on his tongue: an apology that always escapes, but never now, never whenever he needs it most. "She's safe. I made sure of that."

Jihyun hopes it's better than an apology. He knows it isn't.

[I have to go.]

He'd typed those quick words in the chatroom the very moment Jihyun's presence at the gateway to his tower had been announced. ZEN had been in the middle of a rant; he'd hear his complaints about leaving abruptly later, no doubt.

In the few moments that would take his guest to ride the elevator to his penthouse's floor, Jumin had restlessly changed position thrice. At first trying to impose himself to sit down on the couch, and wait. When Elizabeth the 3rd had stirred from her rest to leave her spot beside him, he'd taken it as a sign. That wouldn't do.

No, deep inside he knew the sensitive and intelligent Persian was more than likely perceiving his unnerved mood and wanted none of it. A wise and respectable choice. He didn't try to stop her when she moved across the apartment to head upstairs where the guest room was.

He'd shifted to look at his own reflection by the cabinet with his expensive wines collection, and one hand reached to his tie to tug it loose a bit. It was getting harder to breathe.

No, he didn't want to look stressed out before Jihyun. With an expert maneuver of well-practiced fingers, the knot was even tighter than before.

The quietest of sighs left through his nose, as he paced away, aimless to the floor-to-ceiling windows. Barely a look to the city lights outside, before the familiar knock reached his ears. He did not need to grant vocal permission. It was just as pointless and ritual as his friend's own habit by now.

And there came his voice. A squeeze to the heart every time it came; and it had gotten so rare of late. 'I'm sorry', his mind completed on Jihyun's behalf already, so automatically Jumin could almost swear he heard it in his friend's voice in his ears. But it was an illusion.

This time, he didn't say it. And that alone was disturbing enough - funny, how often Jumin had complained that Jihyun apologized far too often to the point the word lost meaning - for him to finally break eye contact with the semi-transparent reflection on the glass to turn and aim steel gray eyes onto the real deal. To that shield of dark shades that separated them.

MC was safe. A relief, but was that truly all he deserved to hear?

"... Safe, and where?" He asked, straightforward as a bullet. It wasn't customary of Jumin to forgo the manners of a good host, usually. But the situation was far from usual, and his patience had run so, oh so thin. The least he could do as a final grace for Jihyun was show him exactly how, by getting straight to the point. "Is it another secret address I shouldn't be privy of?"

#v13 || mystic messenger #00j || that's what they said. [asked & answered]#ofhope #mm02 || i miss elizabeth the 3rd. [ic: han jumin]#to: || v (mystic messenger)#//finally I can get to this!#sorry it took a while #it was lost in draft mountain #but I hope it brightens your day a little\\

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noarawriteszr · 2 months

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hi hi!!! please PLEASE share about lila!!!!!

heyheyhey! yess bestie ofccc, hope you like<3

truth to be told, I'm not sure if this one if finished but I decided that it would be more fun to leave in this way for now,I had so much fun writing it you guys have no idea!! please enjoy it and sorry for the late upload:(

🐻‍❄️ྀིྀི

again, this was not corrected and I apologize deeply if there's any erros ><

Lila | Headcanon

Lila is a tall woman that was tired of living in the same routine and feeling unhappy every single day, and with the courage to move out she also decided to cut her long hair and she keeps her hair short in the saloon (she also gossip and share information with Emily and Erika)

In all her life she felt how she didn't feel like needed in anything, she felt useless until the opportunity of going to the old farm shown up, she couldn't miss the chance to finally feel like doing something instead of just trying to survive and go along with the years and changes.

And boy how much did that worked out, the first year of Lila everything was hard, she wasn't used or prepared for all the difficulties of being a farmer could appear, although she felt like this was worth it, she fought hard and in the second year Lila was more relieved and spend a good time admiring her hard work on the farm and not only that, she got people with her.

Since the beginning she got her real one of all, Macy was her truly best friend, they spend many hours together, sleepovers, celebrating Stephen's birthday and even helping out each other at individual job, after all what's the problem in helping good friends, right?

But the main spot of their friendship definitely was their teasing and unfortunately for Lila (and fortunately for Macy) it was most her that was the target.

When she's not being the reason of Macy's laugh, she's a really good friend with Sam and Emily, Sam actually cares for Lila like a daughter or niece, that man adores her to the end of the world and Emily appreciate your kind words and she hears all the time of Erika of how you're such a great person to hang out with.

Soon the years goes and the second year come with more good people around Lila, at least two a month she's invited ( actually there's no denying button in this one) to play pool with Yuri, Theo, Wakuu and Pablo, doing nails with Leah after finally getting along and knowing Leah enough to notice that in fact she doesn't hate you, playing with the dogs with Mark, reading books and writing reviews of your favorite one with Millie.

Truth to be told, Lila charmed everyone in such a short time and soon everyone knew about the crush and sickly cute love of the baker and farmer.

You can be sure that Archie and Valentina bet on who's going to confess first.. (Take a short guess in who won)

But the number one fan of the future couple was definitely Betty, that lady was almost begging for Dippa to do a "Woman confessing to Woman class" and invite you for.. educational purpose.

When the lovebirds confessed and their relationship blossomed be sure that an almost party was thrown in Bree's mansion.

If Lila got teased by Macy before, could only imagine it now... Macy always laughed when she was her friend going to Raj's coffeeshop and buying Eva's favorite every single day even though a farmer is busy every day and every season, Mark also joined into the teasing session and started calling you simp for the baker.

Lila's life was perfect, just the way she dreamed it.

With a life like this, the only thing that was missing is definitely a certain ring in Eva's finger and soon farmer started working on it. Desperately going for help with the twins, also having deep conversations with Dinda about marriage, design and style talking to Luke, Antonio and whoever was able to, farmer NEEDED to all go perfect, Eva deserved it.

Of course with this hard work of trying to be as perfect as possible got some consequences, her stress was making her distant and cold from her beloved and realized when unexpectedly Jim told Lila about how he saw Eva's crying and explaining to Alice about how it hurted her.

Make up NOW and talk NOW.

Of course farmer couldn't tell her about her plans but sure that was deserving as a well learned and never again lesson.

If only Lila knew about Eva's plans..

#oc #noarawrites #coral island headcanons #coral island

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be-with-me-so-happily · 2 years

Text

Summary: Y/N applies to be a styling intern for the One Direction crew during the Where We Are tour. As she gets better at her job and closer to the band and crew (especially Harry Styles), some of her dreams seem to be coming true, but so are some of her fears.

A/N: Here we go! It's starting to get a bit juicy! This chapter was exciting and basically wrote itself.

Disclosures: Some language, alcohol consumption, intimate physical contact, small amount of angst

~~~~~

CHAPTER 4 -

ARE WE FRIENDS OR ARE WE MORE?

August 29th, 2014 - Concert Day

About a week and a half goes by. One Direction had shows in Houston, Dallas, and St. Louis. You didn't see much of Harry besides his quick changes in the dressing room.

You are hoping to run into Harry today and apologize for your last interaction. You had been in a bad mood from the hangover, but also from trying to push down your sudden, inopportune feelings for him. You want to apologize and ask to be friends.

But deep down, there's a tinge of desire for something more- to have more of those amazing conversations… to see that big dimpled smile… to maybe even hear him call you Sunshine.

You know you shouldn't care. You know you shouldn't want those things. You barely know each other and you are kidding yourself if you think he would like you more than a friend. But you want to be friends, at least. So, you keep trying to tell yourself to get a grip and bottle up those feelings. Friends is all it could be. He is Harry Styles after all.

[The charming, good-looking, easy-going, thoughtful Harry Styles… damn it]

You immediately go looking for him when you arrive at Soldier Field. You brought a peace offering of coffee, and a mini fruit tart you found at the nearby bakery.

You find him sitting on the edge of the stage, by himself, scrolling through his phone.

"Hey." You pull yourself up to sit next to him.

"Hey Y/N. What's up?" This is the first time you've ever seen a melancholy look on his face.

"So… well, I- I just…" you growl at yourself as you fumble over your words and take a deep breath.

"I was terrible to you the other week. I'm so sorry. As we are both now aware, I don't do well with hangovers. I'm usually fine the next morning, but I think this tour schedule caught up to me or something."

You haven't looked him in the eyes yet, but you know he's looking at you, you can feel it.

You continue. "You did something so nice for me and I just snapped back at you. You didn't deserve that, and I'm very sorry."

He still hasn't said anything which makes you a bit nervous. So you reach down next to you.

"I brought you a black coffee and mini fruit tart as a peace offering. I hope you can forgive me."

That's when his real smile shows up again. He takes it and looks up to say, "Fruit tart for my forgiveness? Deal." He takes a bite and smiles in approval.

"And I really hope we can be friends."

He's silent, and takes another bite. He lets out a little sigh, sounding almost disappointed, but smiles and answers, "yeah, we can be friends. I never thought we weren't."

"Oh good. Because I can't ever trust anyone else to bring me a breakfast wrap as good as the one you gave me." You joke.

He chuckles back, as you squeeze his arm [big mistake to touch his bicep] and swing yourself off the stage.

"See ya later rockstar."

"See you later Y/N."

[Still no Sunshine… but at least you're friends]

~~~~~

August 30th, 2014 - Concert Day

:niall: good morning superstar! me and the boys are having a little hotel rooftop party after the show to kick off the little break we're gonna have. wanna join?

:you: after last time??

:niall: what was wrong with last time?

:you: nothing, i guess, but the day after wasn't so great

:niall: cuz of the headache? or being a meany to harry?

[Harry must've told him. Damn]

:you: you know I'm in charge of what you wear out there tonight, right?

:niall: come on… please…?

You think for a few minutes. You won't have work the next day, and you won't see the guys for over a week, so what's the harm?

:you: okay bud. i'll be there.

:niall: good, the other girls already said yes :) and harry too. he's excited.

You can't tell if your body reacts out of nerves or butterflies. Probably both.

:you: yay!

[Reel it back in, keep your cool]

:you: yay… we all get to hang out tonight!

:niall: yup. us guys, the glamour girls, plus you and harry :)

:you: you're going on stage tonight dressed as a Teletubby

~~~~~

Your headphones are in again, for a distraction, and you work away to the musical stylings of ABBA.

(Mamma Mia)

"Yes, I've been brokenhearted

Blue since the day we parted

Why, why did I ever let you go?

Mamma mia, now I really know

My, my, I could never let you go"

The song ends and as you wait for the next one to start, you hear a subtle applause behind you. The most heated and brightest red rushes to your cheeks and you instantly bring both hands directly to your face. [Oh shit, who is it? How long have they been there? No, no, no]

You turn around, hands still covering your face. You separate a few fingers to peek through and your heart stops.

"Been holding out on us?" You can just barely make out that dimpled smirk spread across Harry's face.

"Oh god. Oh my god. This is so embarrassing!"

He just chuckles.

"How much did you hear?" Your hands move from over your eyes onto your overwhelmingly flushed cheeks.

His smile gets wider. "I think it was, uh, since around the second verse…"

He coughs to clear his throat, and adds, "you were just in the zone, I couldn't interrupt."

"You definitely could have!" You exclaim.

"Yeah, but I- I didn't want to." He coughs again and looks down. He quickly changes the subject. "Umm, do you have any button ups I could wear tonight?

"Yeah, there's two here. I thought you were going with the green t-shirt though?" You hold up the options.

"Oh. Umm... I meant- I meant for the thing tonight." He furrows his brow and bites his lower lip as he brings his hand to his face. "Which one do you like?" He asks.

Without hesitation, you give him a thin, plain white button up shirt. "Honestly, this one. It's not bold like your usual but I actually really like it." [Plus, his tattoos could be seen through it a little… oh geez…]

"If you say so! I'll take it." He says, taking the hanger from you. "So, are you going to be there?"

"Yep," you quickly reply. "Are you?" You scrunch your face. [Stupid. He just said he needed a shirt for it]

"Told you I didn't want to miss out on the next one. And damn it, I won't miss out!" He laughs.

Then you laugh.

"Hopefully it'll be a night worth a headache the next morning!" Instantly looking as if he didn't mean to just say that.

Natalie thinks your comments before had made him think you didn't care to be around him. Of course you want to be around him. That was the problem though… you wanted to be around him a lot. More than a tour intern should. More than just a friend should.

"Good friends, good drinks, and good music?… definitely worth it." You give him a smirk.

[Hopefully you can get your heart to cooperate]

He starts to smile. And maybe even blush a little. "Good. I'll see you there." He pauses and looks at the shirt in his hands. "You know, I won't be in a t-shirt and head scarf, so it might be hard to recognize me."

You laugh. "Right, because you definitely blend into a crowd, Mr. Harry Styles of One Direction" and you roll your eyes.

His dimples cave in even deeper with a mischievous grin.

"Game on. You're gonna have to come and find me tonight." He winks and walks away, leaving you to wonder how you're ever going to tame the butterflies currently dancing around in your stomach.

As he is almost to the door, he flips his hand up and waves with his back still facing you. "See you later, Mia!"

"Mia?!"

He giggles and starts down the hallway. As you try to catch him to ask what he meant, you hear him singing:

(Mamma Mia)

"Yes, I've been brokenhearted

Blue since the day we parted

Why, why did I ever let you go?

Mamma mia, now I really know

My, my, I could never let you go"

[Shit… you're in trouble, aren't you?]

~~~~~

You four girls complete your post-show tasks in record time and Amelia busts up laughing as she walks in. "Damn!" then she smirks, "have fun plans or something…?" She knows. She leaves the loading up to the other crew members and lets you go.

Each one of you had your outfit laid out since the morning, well aware that there are four of you in one room, with limited time to get ready.

Tonight's outfit needed to fit the vibe- a little dressed up but not trying too hard. You put on a white cross front halter top bodysuit (nice and form-fitting) paired with some light denim skinny jeans. You finish it off with your favorite blue ankle boots, blue earrings, and give your hair a nice beachy wave style.

It's a miracle that you all got ready quickly, and still have time to spare. You grab a few bottles from the mini bar so you can 'cheers' to a great tour so far and a fun night ahead!

"And cheers to the guys of One Direction!" Natalie adds as she very obviously winks at you.

Sarah rolls her eyes, "oh geez, let's go."

~~~~~

You are blown away when you walk out to the rooftop area. White couches with large pillows line the walls all the way around the space. Lights are strung up between the building and the posts on the banisters. Purple lights shine against the bar and the cityscape stands out there as the perfect backdrop.

There are already quite a few people there. A lot more than you expected. [So much for a 'little' rooftop party]

Niall runs up to you, beer in hand and a huge grin on his face. "Yay! M'girls are here!" He corrals you in for a big group hug. "Bar is over there," he points out, "and the cool people are sitting on the couches in the back corner." You all look to see Zayn, Liam, and Louis sitting there chatting with the band.

Niall stands shoulder to shoulder with you, and whispers, "except Harry." He chuckles, "good luck" and walks over to greet some new guests that are arriving.

You shake your head and follow your friends as they make their way over to the 'cool couch'. While everyone chats about the inappropriate signs they read tonight, you try to subtly scan faces for Harry. Nothing. You're only partially listening to their conversation. You're just trying to find those piercing green eyes and that cheeky wide grin.

You're not having much luck, so decide to make your way over to the bar. [Maybe he changed his mind]. You slump over slightly with that unfortunate thought.

Waiting for your margarita, you feel a tap on your shoulder. You instantly perk up and twirl around, only to be met with the gaze of a stranger.

"Hi!" He bursts out. "Y/N right?"

You just nod your head, expecting to see someone else.

"I'm Levi. I'm an intern on the sound crew. You probably don't remember but you helped us out one day setting up our equipment."

You rack your brain trying to pull up the memory and suddenly remember chatting with some of the sound crew about movies. "Oh right. Secret 'Titanic' fan, right?"

"Yeah, emphasis on the word secret." He nervously laughs.

"Oops! Noted."

"How's everything been going for you?" He asks.

"It's been great! Busy, and crazy, but great!" You reply, but take a sip from the margarita you were just handed, to subtly scan the party again.

"Same. I'm looking forward to some days off. But I'm glad this party is happening, so I can catch up with people I haven't seen in a while…" his voice trails off. Maybe he is hinting at something, or waiting for a response, or maybe senses that you're distracted…

But he most likely stops because somebody has suddenly appeared behind you as soon as those words leave his mouth.

"Hey mate, I'm Harry." A long, tattooed arm reaches out from behind you to shake Levi's hand.

"Levi" he replies, "nice to meet you man." He looks over to you and suggests catching up with you another time. You nod and turn around towards Harry.

With a triumphant smile, he declares, "I win!"

"What do you mean?"

"I found you!"

"I thought I was the one who was supposed to find you?" You laugh.

"You were taking too long." Harry declares.

You scoff in protest. "I just got here!"

"Yeah, and you were taking too long." He repeats.

"You just suck at playing this little game that you created." You argue.

You indulge in some more sips of margarita and you both walk over to where you had originally left your friends.

There aren't many open seats left on the L-shaped couch, so you end up on one end, with Harry across on the other. He smiles and focuses his attention on Sarah, who has engrossed everyone with a story about her trips to France. He is so good at giving his attention to whoever is talking, and she's got so many interesting things to say.

That's when you get the first good look at him. He has on the white button up shirt you gave him. The buttons seem to be more of a suggestion to him, since the shirt was open all the way down to his butterfly tattoo. His cross necklace dangles right down the middle of his chest. He has his usual black skinny jeans and brown boots, with a matching brown hat sitting on top of that crazy, curly hair. [Why does he have to be so beautiful?]

You start to worry that you won't be able to keep your composure. You tell yourself that it's nothing more than a friendship, and you don't want to mess that up. Not the new friendship, and not your internship. So you turn your attention to Sarah too.

For a split second, you catch his gaze out of the corner of your eye. He is looking at you with the most beautiful and subtle smile.

[Just have fun tonight. You're allowed to have fun! Just don't get wasted so you can keep your cool]

~~~~~

You've had another margarita now. You're not drunk, but your nagging thoughts have dissipated. Once again, the entire couch ends up belting out the lyrics to anything and everything the DJ is playing. Niall does a drunken Irish jig to at least half of them. Sarah enthusiastically agrees to playing 'Spin the Bottle', pouting a little after realizing it was a joke.

Suddenly Natalie insists that you girls get up and dance. She manages to convince Liam to join, and Niall has basically been doing it the whole time so he just hops along behind you all. Harry stays behind with Zayn and Louis. He is leaning forward, arms rested on his knees, smiling as he watches you all probably make complete fools of yourselves.

About three songs in and you notice he left the couch. You play it cool and go back to jumping around to 'Summer' by Calvin Harris. As the DJ transitions to the next song, your eyes find Harry and your heart drops a bit. He is walking back to the couch, talking with Sarah, who had slipped away to the bar during the last song. [Well, now you know why he left the couch]

You can't seem to take your eyes off of them as they get closer to your group's spot. You hear the song transitioning again and a remixed version of a familiar melody starts to play. Your eyes shoot over to the DJ, and then shoot your eyes back to Harry. He ends his conversation with her as completely turns in your direction, and he hurriedly sits back down. He's biting his lower lip. And suddenly you understand why.

(Mamma Mia)

"Look at me now, will I ever learn

I don't know how, but I suddenly lose control

There's a fire within my soul

…

Mamma mia, here I go again

My, my, how can I resist you?

Mamma mia, does it show again

My, my, just how much I've missed you?"

You look at Harry, mouth open wide, laughing in disbelief. He has the biggest smile on his face, and you match it instantly.

Natalie motions for him to join you but he shakes his head. You poke out your tongue and go back to dancing. When the song is over, you look over to him, tell the group you need a water break, and head over to the bar. Harry comes up right next to where you're waiting.

"Enjoying yourself?"

You let out a breathless giggle. "Absolutely!" Then you meet his eyes and grin. "Thanks for the song!"

He shakes his head. "I don't know what you're talking about. Must be the DJs favorite or something".

You grab the waters and he points to a vacant corner of the rooftop. "I just need a bit of quiet right now." He rests his forearms on the railing and you copy his stance, looking out at the city.

He presses his face into his shoulder closest to you and mutters, "umm… so has it been worth the impending headache so far?"

You drop your head, realizing he may have been thinking about that the whole time, and trying to make the night fun for you.

"It could end now and it would be one of the best nights ever!"

"I don't want it to end just yet." He quickly replied.

"Me either!" You smile. "I mean, I'm just hitting my stride on the dance floor!" You turn your whole body to face him, those beautiful green eyes staring right back at you, and then your gaze turns upwards towards his hat.

You get a bold, cheeky idea and quickly grab his hat, placing it on your own head. You take one step back and do an embarrassing little model pose. He instinctively runs his hand through his hair to fix it, and when he peers back at you, his expression gives you the most tender feelings.

His eyes graze from his hat down to your feet, and back to the hat, getting a good look at you.

"You look really cute in my hat." He says with a timid tone.

"Because it's your hat."

"No…" He manages, "because you are the one wearing it."

You nervously gulp as he brushes a piece of hair out of your face. You are fixated on his eyes, as they flicker between yours and your lips. His hands reach up to meet your jawline and you step closer to him, bringing your hands to his chest. He pushes the hat up higher on your head and brings his face as close to yours as possible. You can feel his labored breath on your lips and suddenly become aware of what's happening. You start overthinking things again.

"Harry," you whisper.

"Yeah?" He whispers back.

But you stop yourself from stopping it. You can't kid yourself anymore, you really want it.

"Please kiss m-" and with that his lips softly connect in the most affectionate kiss. He pulls back gauging your reaction, and as you let out a subtle moan (eyes still closed), he smashes his lips back into yours, with a lot more passion this time.

His eyes are still closed too when he pulls away, letting out a strong exhale as he smiles. "What about now?"

"What?"

"Is tonight worth the impending headache tomorrow?"

"Hmmm…" you pretend to ponder.

He laughs, taking his hat back and giving you a quick peck on the lips before turning around. "Come on, Sunshine, let's get back."

~~~~

No one seemed to have noticed your coinciding absence, but once Sarah realized that Harry was back, she insisted that he sit next to her and finish their conversation.

You stay and talk with everyone for an hour or so more, exchanging bashful smirks with Harry whenever your eyes meet. You take some group photos together, and Harry's hand wraps around your waist as he squeezes in next to you. Your knees feel weak from the touch. As desperate as you are to not let the night end, every moment of the day is now weighing your body down and you know you need to get to bed. Everyone exchanges hugs, says their farewells, and as you lean into Harry's embrace he whispers, "it was worth it for me too," sneaking one last peck on your cheek.

[You're done. Absolutely done]

The four of you girls make it back down to your room, and once you finally plop down on your bed, you see some text notifications on your phone.

:unknown: hey sunshine, lemme know you got back to your room

:unknown: umm, this is harry by the way

*changed contact info*

:you: back safe

:harry: good

:harry: i didn't want tonight to end

:you: me either :/

Your heavy eyelids start to uncontrollably flutter closed.

:harry: what time are you headed home tomorrow?

:harry: y/n?

:harry: g'night mia xx

:harry: <video attached>

- -

:niall: i gave harry your number, shoulda asked you first. guess you weren't a meany this time ;)

:niall: ps. he seemed really happy tonight y/n

~~~~~

August 31st, 2014

You have a headache when you wake up, but you barely notice it over the butterflies still in your stomach.

You open your texts and read what you'd missed, then open the video Harry had sent after you fell asleep. You hear 'Mamma Mia' playing in the background and see yourself twirling around on the dance floor like a fool. You smile when you hear him letting out cute little chuckles as he watches you.

[He took a video of you. Of a fun surprise he did for you. It's so precious. He… he really does like you?]

All of a sudden you hear the *ping* from your text notifications.

:harry: headache?

:you: don't even care

:harry: so… worth it?

:you: so worth it!

:harry: wanna get some coffee?

:you: all i have to wear are sweats for the plane.

:harry: okay, but wanna get some coffee?

You smirk at how he doesn't seem to care what you're wearing and you start to type out a 'yes', but just then Amelia's words start ringing in your ears… 'I just wouldn't get involved with anything' and you suddenly panic.

:you: i still need to pack. sorry.

:harry: oh okay. well, you're headed back to L.A too right? maybe we can meet up there soon.

Your heart sinks a little as you send your reply.

:you: yeah, maybe.

You put down your phone and focus your attention on getting all ready to leave.

You may have shared a kiss last night, a wonderful and passionate kiss, but you shouldn't get involved any further. It's not a good idea for either of you. It's for the best.

[So why do you feel so disheartened?]

~~~~~

Sitting on the airplane, you feel sick. It could because you hate flying, but you know its because of him. How you desperately wanted that coffee with him, how you wanted to kiss him again, how you wanted to lounge around with him up until the last second before you had to leave. And then of course, how you can't have him.

"Y/N/N, are you okay?" Natalie asks softly.

You nod your head and squeeze your eyes shut.

"Is it the flying thing?" She asks.

You want to tell her. You can't lie to your best friend. So you just shrug your shoulders as she places her hand over yours, giving it a slight squeeze.

You feel a tiny tear start to form at the corner of your eye and she whispers, "we can talk about it later if you want to, 'kay?"

You nod, and try to keep calm as the plane takes off.

When it finally levels out, and the seatbelt sign turns off, you start to relax a tiny bit. Natalie turns to you, but right then Sarah pops her head up from the seat behind you.

"Was last night amazing or what?!" She giggles.

You close your eyes again, so Natalie replies, "it was something else!"

"I had such a good conversation with Harry!" She beams. "He went somewhere for a bit, but when he came back he immediately started it up again!" She lets out a swooning sigh. "Can you imagine… Harry Styles giving you his attention basically the whole night?"

[If she only knew how amazing it really felt]

Jade, in the seat next to her, interjects, "don't you have a boyfriend?"

Then Sarah sighs, disappointedly. "Yeah… I was gonna end it before I left but he's so into me so I didn't do it." She lets out a dismissive laugh.

You didn't think you could feel more sick until now.

She adds, "but he's no Harry Styles!"

Without thinking, you say, "no one else is."

You hear Sarah quietly grunt and then sit back down in her seat. When you finally open your eyes and turn to Natalie, you see a concerned but sympathetic look displayed all over her face.

"Later?" She asks, referring to having a talk.

You nod your head then pull out your phone. You have two new text messages.

:niall: we all definitely need to do that again when we can. was i doing 'lord of the dance' moves at some point? please say you don't have proof ;)

You chuckle as much as you can muster, then open up the other message.

:harry: i had a really good time. hope you did too. have a safe flight xx

[Why did you have to cross that boundary and kiss him? Why did it have to feel so perfect? And why can't you stop thinking about doing it again?]

You squeeze your eyes shut and they stay like that all the way back to L.A. For the first time since you joined the tour, you can't wait to be back home.

~~~~~

Series Masterlist || Chapter 3 || Chapter 5

Taglist: @watermelonsugacry

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luvyanfei · 3 years

Text

anon said. ooo a new blog! can you do confession headcanons where xiao, childe, and scaramouche react to reader confessing to them and the aftermath of it? thank you!

a/n. xiao’s is kind of terrible ;; ue ue gomenasai

“i love you, [character’s name].”

SCARAMOUCHE.

huh? is this some kind of a joke? if so, it’s definitely not a good idea to mess with his feelings like this, especially when he also shares the same sentiment. scaramouche is almost impressed by your boldness. not everyone has the nerve to confess their love for a harbinger in front of their own faces, after all. when he’s hit with the realization that you’re serious, he secretly pinches himself to make sure he’s not in a dream.

the sharp pain that comes with his nails making contact with his flesh affirms that this is real. he stifles back a genuine smile, choosing to stay calm despite the bliss he’s currently feeling. “i guess it can’t be helped. hmph, you should be lucky i’m rather fond of you as well, [name].” he says that, but he’s the fortunate one to have successfully stolen your heart before others can claim you for themselves.

unfortunately, his time with you is quite limited due to his affiliation with the fatui, so any fleeting moments are captured in photos from the kamera to look back on. he secretly carries a picture of you while he’s out of town on important missions so that he won’t miss you too badly. he fondly looks at your still, yet smiling face to cheer him up after a tough work while everyone else is asleep. well, almost everyone.

“hmm, who’s that in your hands, scaramouche?” childe asks, gesturing to the photo the harbinger is admiring fondly. scaramouche rolls his eyes to hide his slight embarrassment and hesitates a bit before he answers.

“oh them? their name is [name], my... sibling.” childe almost gapes in disbelief as he looks at the blue-haired man in shock.

“you have a sibling? why didn’t you tell me? they’re so cute!” the 11th harbinger squeals in delight, which honestly irks poor scaramouche. he scoots away to give himself some space as he tucks the picture in his pocket for safe-keeping.

“you didn’t bother to,” he explains matter-of-factly. “now if you’ll excuse me,” he stands up from his crouched position and dusts himself, “i’m going to take a walk, alone.”

he wanders through a dark forest and grassy fields, until he finds himself standing on top of a cliff, the moon glowing brightly above. he peers up at the twinkling stars in the sky and imagines you beside him, watching the breathtaking view together. humming an unfamiliar tune to himself, scaramouche muses over the past and replays your confession over and over again. if he could, he would respond differently than he did before.

‘i love you.’ those three letter words echo in his ears like a melody and he allows himself to smile.

“i love you too, [name].”

XIAO.

he automatically perks up an eyebrow in confusion. what? is it just him or did you seriously admitted you love him? xiao stammers for a brief second, no words spilling out from his partially open mouth. what is he supposed to say? “thank you?” “i love you too?”

when he pulls himself together, xiao shakes his head and frowns. his answer is clear and simple: no. you mortals don’t understand just how dangerous it is to get close with someone like him - a yaksha. drowning in the brink of debt and despair, he doesn’t need you to suffer all the same. the dejected expression on your face pains him to a considerable degree, yet he convinces himself, this is for your own good.

since then, he avoids you like the plague in hopes that your feelings for him will disperse into flames. you deserve someone better, someone who won’t place you in harm’s way, someone unlike him. out of kindness, you still visit him from time to time while you go and do your daily commissions, but your interaction is heavily tense and an air of discomfort seeps through your gaze. why does his chest hurt as if he was impaled with a knife and so much more when you look at him like that? the thought of breaking down and revealing the truth that he’s also in love with you tempts him eagerly, but his pride and anxiety tides over his desires.

you, on the other hand, is aware that xiao harbors feelings for you. you discovered this secret of his when you climbed the stairs to the spot on the balcony where he was to surprise him with a greeting, but your ears captured a faint voice in the night breeze and you couldn’t stop yourself from eavesdropping on the little conversation xiao was having with himself. he muttered about “rex lapis”, the fate of liyue, and etc. you were about to leave him to his own devices, but the next words he said stopped you in your tracks.

“will [name] accept me if i say i love them? probably not, i suppose.” you left before he could spare a glance in your direction and a smile graced your features as you happily walked away. and being the persistent individual that you are, you inquire verr on why he’s acting so cold towards you, desperate to seek the answer you need. “xiao is, as you’re well aware, a yaksha who’s experienced hardships throughout his life, and probably lost loved ones along the way. i’m sure,” she turns to look at the setting sun in melancholy, “he doesn’t want to hurt anyone important to him again.”

you plan ahead of time for the best way to approach him without giving him any chance to escape. unfortunately, this is the only thing you can think of as you place a hand on either side of his head, trapping him between you and the wall. xiao looks at you curiously, devoid of amusement. he crosses his arms and frowns.

“what are you doing?” your hands twitch and you chew on your bottom lip nervously before you explain yourself.

“i heard from verr why you’ve been giving me the cold shoulder, that you don’t want to hurt anyone important to you, but...” you trail off to blink back the tears threatening to burst.

“it hurts, when you ignore me like this.” your voice is quiet enough that he needs to step closer to hear you. “it hurts how selfless you are. can’t you be selfish just once? i meant what i said and i’ll say it again. i love you.”

xiao stammers, at a loss for words, before he starts sniffling and buries himself in your arms, crying out apologies as you stroke the back of his hair and gives a closed-eye smile. “it’s okay, xiao. i’m sorry too, for not realizing how much you’ve been suffering by yourself. you don’t have to carry the burden alone anymore,” you say, looking into his tear-filled eyes, “i will always be here with you, no matter what path you choose to take.”

“even if that path may eventually hurt you?” he whispers in a cracked voice, fingers curling around your sleeves. you nod.

“it’s worth the pain as long as i can hold you in my arms, like this.” he chokes out a bitter chuckle and wipes away the glistening tears.

“i love you too, [name].”

CHILDE.

the harbinger blinks his cerulean eyes once, then twice, and... you find yourself pulled into his arms, as his lips uplift into a jovial smile. “really? you love me? [name], i had no idea you held such deep admiration for me.” you playfully roll your eyes and chuckle as you wrap your own arms around his body, fondly reciprocating his affection.

he’s the fastest to accept your confession than the other two men. you’d bet he would scamper to where he’s staying at to tell every grain of detail to his adoring relatives.

he writes letters to his siblings about your daily dates and the progress you two are making in your relationship. they tease him for the most part, but they’re happy that he’s found the love of his life and requests that he bring you along with him on his next visit. childe smiles in relief, content that they accept you already despite never meeting you and he asks you if you’d like to come with him to his home country where you can introduce yourself to his family. without hesitation, you agree instantly, eager to meet the siblings he gushes about.

snezhnaya is colder than you thought, as you hug yourself to preserve your warmth, even with the layers of clothing wrapped around you. “we’re almost there, [name].” childe notices your trembling and rubs his gloved hands against your back. “sorry, it’s a bit chilly here, but please bear with me.”

you nod and continue on. when a building enters your field of sight, childe stops and grins shyly at you. “this is the place.” breath materializes in front of you as he gestures for you to head on in. almost immediately are you greeted with a little embrace as a young boy wraps his fingers around your waist and grins up at you.

“so you’re the one who big brother said he’s in love with? have you kissed before? when is your wedding?” the child bombards you with questions excitedly and a girl has to pull him away from you, tonia, you guess.

“teucer,” childe scolds gently, a light blush colouring his cheeks, which does not go unnoticed in his siblings’ eyes, unfortunately for him.

a wedding, huh? seeing the sparkle in your eyes, the laughter in your voice, and the warmth of your touch as you idly chat with his siblings makes him hope, that maybe in the distant future, he’ll brave himself to take the next step to further deepen your relationship, for he wants to be with you always.

as he tucks away the last sleeping child, childe wanders in to your shared bedroom, surprised you’re still awake. “you really love them a lot, huh childe?” he nods seriously, as you pull him to lie down comfortably into bed.

“but do you know something else?” his breath tickles your ear as he intertwines his fingers with yours, offering a meek smile. you shake your head and nuzzle closer to him.

“i love you too, [name].”

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #childe x reader #scaramouche x reader #xiao x reader

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peachycoreroo · 3 years

Text

angel | kuroo tetsurou

summary: the only thing that came to mind when you heard the word angel, was your crushes ex girlfriend. so what do you do when suddenly you’re the angel or how a book can bring two people together

pairing: college!kuroo tetsurou x fem!reader

genre: smut, a lotta plot tho, basically pwp

word count: 7.9k

warnings: dom!kuroo, fingering, oral fem! receiving, praise, both being extremly needy, it’s not really kinky, slight breeding kink tho, a few spanks, vaginal penetration

authors note: pls don’t even ask about the book thing, this entire thing is based of one of my dreams and i had no idea why the book appeared, but it did and i didn’t wanna leave it out soooo, ye<3 here’s a link to my masterlist

you sighed, as you continued typing your essay. maybe coming to the coffee shop was not the best idea you had, since it was friday and apparently every college student on campus decided it was coffee time after their lecture, but you didn’t expect it to be so overflown with people.

sitting at the far back, you realized that you were not going to get any work done with how loud everyone around you was being, so you just sat back and observed the people around you, while drinking the cheap coffee you ordered earlier. observing and analyzing the behavior of those around you always came natural to you. some guy watching his girlfriend as she was deciding what to order, even though she was taking way too long, with love. a friend group of a few pretty girls walking past a table full of sexist pigs who thought the only way to get their attention was by whistling after them as if they were dogs. and your crush looking at you.

wait.

huh?

quickly averting your eyes back to your laptop, you could feel your heart rate pick up to an unnatural speed. pretending to suddenly be terribly busy with drinking coffee, a million thoughts ran through your head. you were quite positive that you’ve seen his girlfriend sitting right next to him, so why was he staring so intensely at you?

it’s not as if you never talked. kuroo tetsurou was easily the most interesting person you have ever had the pleasure of having intellectual conversations with. you were taking some business classes in your third semester, since you thought they would be of value for your future. that’s where you met him. kuroo sat next to you since the first day of the lecture but you were way too intimidated by his attractiveness to start the first real conversation beyond greetings, so when the opportunity had arisen, you snatched it right away.

after one of the lectures, he left his phone on the desk and since he was already gone, you took it and hurried after him. just as he was leaving through the huge main doors of your university, you caught up to him and grabbed his arm. embarrassingly, not being the most athletic made you look like a creep as kuroo directed his confused stare at your form, hunched over, breathing hard but still latching onto his arm.

“uh, hi? y/n, right?”, the tall boys’ confusion lightly seeped into his questioning tone as his eyes moved between you and the hand you used to hold him back from walking further.

taking one last deep breath, you forced yourself to stand up right and look into his eyes, but oh, what mistake that was. funnily enough, you never actually looked directly into his eyes, so you didn’t expect to suddenly have to divert all your focus on trying to keep the gasp, you wanted to let out, in your throat. in your memories, from the milliseconds you had the courage to look into his eyes when he greeted you, his eyes were brown but all at once you were confronted with the most beautiful hazel eyes you have ever seen.

as a consequence of having to put all your mental capacity on not gasping out loud or even worse, admitting how attractive he was, the words that came out of your mouth only furthered your embarrassment.

“you. phone. lecture. forgot”, you stumbled over your words as if that were your first attempt at communicating.

feeling your already hot face burn brighter as tetsurous confusion further solidified on his handsome face, you only hoped he thought the running was responsible for you looking like a sweaty mess.

you forced yourself to let out a short laugh as you broke eye contact to gain back your composure. “sorry, I didn’t expect the running to get to me that bad. maybe lev is right, I should try some aerobics with him”, starting to mumble towards the end, you shook your head. “anyway, you forgot your phone on the table in our lecture just now. i didn’t want to hold onto it till thursday and didn’t know where else to find you, so i ran after you. m’ sorry if I kinda freaked you out”, you quickly added while holding out his phone to him.

as you never really talked to the tall man before, your head snapped up to look at him when you heard his deep chuckle. was there something that’s not attractive about this man?

taking the phone from your hands, you were finally able to experience the first full sentence kuroo tetsurou ever directed at you. “well, thanks. i definitely didn’t wanna be without a phone two whole days, so i appreciate you running after me with such determination”, he remarked, as he observed how out of breath you still were, grinning.

“oh god, you know, never doing anything nice for you ever again sounds good right about now”, you groaned, lifting a hand in front of your face to stop him from studying your slightly damp face.

nothing on this green-blue-brown floating rock in space that is also known as the earth, could have prepared you for what you were witnessing next. with your mouth slightly ajar, you looked at tetsurou as he leaned over, clutching his stomach, while letting out the funniest laugh you have ever heard in your life.

in your mind, you saw a quick flash of a scene from ‘the lion king’, in which one of the hyenas was laughing exactly like that. you briefly wondered whether kuroo was influenced by that scene as a kid before you couldn’t keep your laugh in anymore after the initial shock subdued.

“my apologies, the situation was just way too perfect for me to not tease you. i’d be honored if you’d grace me with your kindness again, my highness”, he slightly bowed while, once again, flashing you that sly smirk that made you wanna punch and make out with him at the same time.

you tried to match his energy as best as you could with your head jumbled from the proximity to the man you have been sitting next to every tuesday and thursday from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m., but looking back at the interaction, you couldn’t wrap your head around tetsurou wanting to continue talking to you after that conversation.

“i’ll consider it, peasant.”

after that, you and your smart seatmate talked a lot more. you found out that he was majoring in sports management and minoring in chemistry even though it was so different from management, just because he liked it. lev, your best friend at college since the first day when he didn’t see you from his 6’5” point of view and knocked you over as you were looking at the menu in the very coffee shop you were currently sitting in, turned out to be one of kuroo’s old friends from high school. which let you to find out the most unfortunate information about kuroo tetsurou thus far.

as you were walking to your next lecture with the dark-haired man, lev joined in with a tall, blonde, and gorgeous woman by his side. you immediately recognized alisa, lev’s sister. even though the silver-haired boy was ginormous, he couldn’t hold his liquor very well, which resulted in you having to drag the giraffe of a human home after a party quite a few times. there, you met alisa.

wanting to go in for a hug with the beautiful blonde, you froze at once as you tried to process what you were seeing. tetsurou had an arm wrapped around her petite waist, the other one placed on her sharp jaw, as he softly pecked her lips.

lev excitedly started telling you about a new side job he got as a model and while you supported him with your whole heart and were genuinely proud of him for landing that job, you could only zero in on the sight in front of you. your eyes hyper focused on the way his large hands were gently grabbing her waist, your ears on the soft ‘how was your day?’ and flirty ‘better, now that you’re here’ exchanged.

putting on your best poker face and directing your attention to the excited titan beside you, your own reaction startled you. even more surprising was who you were jealous of. you did have a small crush on alisa at the start, who wouldn’t? she’s tall, beautiful, fun, loving, caring, alas she was way too similar to lev to develop a full-on crush on her. then, it dawned on you, that the one you were jealous of, was not tetsurou, but in fact, alisa.

of course, you thought your seatmate was attractive from the first moment you saw him, but how you managed to develop a crush on him without even realizing it, was beyond you. ugly, jealous thoughts made their way into your head about one of the most loveable people you met. those disgusting thoughts slithered their hands around your throat, trying to suffocate you and so you buried that small crush in the back of your mind.

after that encounter you kept your distance to the handsome male. it was better for you, your sanity and everyone involved. in no way were you ever going to go between a loving relationship because of your own selfish feelings.

for crying out loud, you didn’t even know kuroo that well while alisa was like a sister to you. however, you weren’t able to tune out the insecure voices in your head. of course, he liked tall, model-like women who resembled angels not only physically but also with their personality. who were you to compare yourself to her? not even you yourself liked who you were, so why would one of the most attractive guys you ever saw?

you deserved someone good, but alisa deserved the world, so you just wished that tetsurou was the best for her.

and while kuroo tetsurou was a lot of things, he wasn’t ignorant, so when you decided to sit down in another seat in the lecture a few times or made up some excuses as to why he couldn’t walk with you to your next seminar, he knew something was wrong.

which brings you back to right now, with you staring at your laptop, hoping that the boy you’ve been trying to avoid wouldn’t come over to check on you. alas, your luck was apparently all spent, because you could see a tall, dark figure drop themselves on the bench in front of you.

“y/n.”

at the low tone of his voice calling your name, you lifted your gaze from your laptop to look at the boy you were trying to stay clear of.

“hmm? oh, hey tetsurou. didn’t see you there.” bullshit, he thought.

“yeah, ’m here with alisa. just a quick break before she has her next lecture.” while saying that, kuroo focused on your expression, trying to gauge your emotions and maybe get a hint on why you were actively keeping him at arm’s length.

after taking a swift look in the direction the happy couple was sitting just a few minutes ago, you nodded and kept your eyes on your coffee.

“that’s nice, you should probably go back now though. don’t want you to waste precious date time”, you said cheerfully, but weren’t able to keep out the slightly bitter tone out of your voice. that’s exactly why you were trying to stay away from him. the sight of the merry couple only fueled your toxic thoughts about two people you cherished and even though you wished for them to be happy together, the insecurities deep inside you wouldn’t let you.

seeing the slight change in your voice and expression, kuroo cocked his head to the side. did he say the wrong thing?

“she’s already leaving, so i decided to catch up with you for a bit.”

fantastic.

“well,” you remarked while closing your laptop and starting to pack your things, “I also need to get going, was nice seeing you though.”

“i’ll walk you”, was in fact not what you wanted to hear. but the universe hated you for some reason. you looked back at him and waved your hand dismissingly, trying to speedily think of a reason why he couldn’t accompany you: “uh, you see, i, uh... i’m visiting my parents this weekend, so i’ll just take the train. ’m not going back to the dorms.”

even if kuroo would have been stupid and oblivious, which he was not, your hurried attempt at getting rid of him just confirmed all his suspicions. but the ex-captain wasn’t going to let you run away from him so easily.

“no problem, i’ll walk you to the train station. the field i practice volleyball in with lev and a few others is nearby. ‘was gonna head there anyway, let’s go.” this time, he didn’t let you enough time to object, so you were stuck grabbing your things and following him, regardless of what you wanted.

to your surprise, kuroo didn’t say a thing on the way to the train station. you expected him to force you into a whole debate about whether pluto was a planet or not, but he just stayed silent. was that a bit of your luck shining through, or was he angry?

not wanting to push your luck any longer, you stayed silent as well, as you waited for your train at the designated platform. guess you had to make a surprise visit to your hometown because of your little lie, but maybe that was exactly what you needed. some time away to clear your head.

but just as you got excited for the spontaneous trip, kuroo finally dropped what has been on his mind the whole walk or rather, the whole three weeks you’ve been running away from him as if he was on fire and you couldn’t wait to get away from him as far as possible.

“y/n. why are you avoiding me?”, he questioned, looking at the rails ahead, instead of you.

“w-what? i’m not, why would you think that?”, you quickly sputtered out, hardly able to convince yourself of your own lies.

tetsurou gave you a look of complete skepticism, quickly shutting down your protests. “don’t play dumb with me, ’m not stupid. i know you’re not sitting down way further in the back or running out of the lecture on accident. you’re doing this on purpose. even just a moment ago you didn’t want me to escort you. tell me why.”

luckily, the train arrived just on time, so you quickly hoped on with a fleeting 'see you next week' and hoped he would just assume you didn’t quite catch what he said because of the train.

he didn’t though. he knew that you heard him.

the short spontaneous weekend trip turned into you staying for almost two whole weeks because of a cold, so your mom wouldn’t let you return without someone taking care of you, not knowing you had some big news waiting for you once you got back.

“we broke up.”

wou were currently in the library after returning to campus, trying to catch up on some lectures you missed, when alisa entered. together, you were walking around the english literature section, catching up when she dropped the bomb.

“wait, what? how? when? why? huh? what did he do?”, you asked dumbfounded, feeling bad about your two friends, who were so clearly in love, breaking up. but even more than that, you could feel disgust creep up your spine because deep down you knew you were sickly happy about the fact that kuroo was now single. what a shit fucking friend you were.

“relax”, alisa chuckled. “he didn’t do anything, we just kinda came to the agreement that we don’t love each other the same anymore. i felt like he was always distracted the last weeks we were together, always deep in thought, and i decided to concentrate on my graduation and career as a model. it was a great college relationship and i still care for him, we just… we broke up about a week ago.”

“well, as long as you’re both happy with the decision”, you sighed while picking ‘pride and prejudice’ by jane austen from a bookshelf, not feeling like such a piece of shit for being lowkey happy about it anymore, but you still knew you two would never work. even if the breakup was mutually decided, tetsurou was still her ex.

hearing alisa giggle, you turned your gaze from the book in your hand and wondered: “huh? why are you laughing?” the tall blonde only grinned and continued her way down the aisle. completely confused, you followed her with the book still in hand.

“what the fuck? kinda acting sus not gonna lie.”

“wow, I thought you had better jokes than that y/n”, she teased, sitting down at a nearby table.

breathing out some air out of your nose in mock anger, you sat down beside her, tipping your non-existent fedora. “sorry i’m not up to your comedy standards, m’lady.”

alisa laughed loudly before noticing the book you were still holding, her laughter turning into a knowing grin. once again, you shot her a confused look: “what is it with you today? your mood swings are confusing the shit outta me.”

“you know, that’s like one of tetsu’s favorite books.”

“what? 'pride and prejudice'?”, you inquired, puzzled. why was she telling you this? “are you like, having some post-breakup nostalgia or?”

she laughed once again, waving her manicured hand dismissingly and shaking her head: “it just kinda popped into my head. i never read it, but he once wanted to read it to me. it did not end well; i couldn’t take it seriously and had to laugh the whole time. he just gave up and sulked for the rest of the evening.”

“yep, definitely pbn”. the girl shoved your shoulder slightly while snickering before taking out her laptop and working on something, leaving you alone with your conflicted thoughts.

as fate would have it, you didn’t really talk to kuroo for the last two weeks of lectures. finals were catching up and you had a lot of exams, leaving you with no time to catch up with the tall boy. plus, you were still trying to avoid him. you weren’t about to give into temptation and try your luck with alisa’s ex, which was much easier if said temptation didn’t walk around looking fine directly in front of you.

but with the weekend starting, you agreed to go to a party with the haiba siblings to treat yourself to a break from typing essay after essay. it was obvious that kuroo would also be there and this time, you wouldn’t be able to avoid him. the running had finally caught up to you.

before the party, you decided to go to the library to work on one of your essays, but with how much work there was left, you simply forgot the time. at 10 p.m., your phone rang.

“hello?”

“girl? why aren’t you here yet? and why aren’t you answering our messages? we texted you like a million times”, levs’ questioning voice echoed through the speaker.

quickly checking the time and number of messages you got, you gasped: “oh god, so sorry! i was at the library working on my shitty marketing essay! ’m gonna be right there!”

ending the phone call, you quickly gathered your things and rushed to your dorms. stripping on the way to the bathroom in your one room apartment, you hopped into the shower, feeling as if you were trying to break the world record for the fastest shower known to men.

as you were stepping out of the shower a few minutes later, someone knocked at your door, startling you. did the haiba siblings come to pick you up? with a hasty ‘’m coming’, you hurried to the door in only a towel.

“hey, I just got out of the shower, I just need…” faltering in your sentence, you gripped your towel tighter, trying not to freak out. because there were no alisa and lev in sight. just kuroo tetsurou. while you were standing there. with only a towel on. fuck. “that’s uh… you’re not alisa and lev.”

“er… n-no, no i’m not”, kuroo stuttered out, at least having the decency to avert his eyes to the ceiling, realizing what you had or rather had not on after checking you out. collecting your composure, you shot him a tight-lipped smile and stepped aside to let him in.

“come in, I just need to get dressed and do my makeup. you can wait inside.”

walking past you, the dark-haired man pretended to scratch his head to hide his red ears and quickly surveyed your room. “that’s…”, breaking off his sentence instantly when his voice cracked, he cleared his throat before trying again. “nice room.”

while kuroo tried not to have a mental breakdown and remember what he came here for, you picked up your disregarded clothes from earlier of the floor, being mindful of not to flash the man, and made your way to your wardrobe, chucking in your dirty laundry and scanning your variety of clothes to pick out the most flattering outfit for the party. “uh, yeah, thanks. so, uh, what did you want? ee would’ve seen each other at the party later anyway.”

but there was no answer, making you frown. just as you wanted to turn around, calling his name in confusion, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around your waist loosely, causing you to choke out his name.

kuroo leaned his head down towards your neck, slowly inhaling the scent of your strawberry bodywash before sighing contently. his soft, plump lips slowly trailed up to your ear, creating goosebumps on their way, before lowly murmuring: “you smell delicious. i could eat you up.”

you could feel yourself shiver at the low timbre of his voice and the indication of his words, as your heart rate picked up to the point you had the feeling as though you were going to die right then and there. how did his demeanor change so suddenly? it seemed as if you were in a room with a completely different person.

the ex-captain smugly grinned as he felt your breath quicken and chest heave without him even doing much, tightening one arm around your waist, while his large hand on the other arm splayed itself on your stomach, slowly sliding down towards where you wanted him. “hm? can I do that baby?”

just as quickly as the thoughts of ‘stop, this is so wrong. what about alisa?’ appeared in your mind, they immediately disappeared with the sweet melody of kuroo calling you baby.

not being able to keep a little whine from slipping out at the pet name, you nodded, your cheeks unbearably hot. but that wasn’t enough for him. tetsurou wanted your verbal consent, even if his half-hard cock already slightly twitched at the small noise you let out without him even touching you properly, screaming at him to finally fuck you.

avoiding the area, you wanted him to touch the most, his hand grabbed your thigh, causing you to squeeze your legs together in search of relief. he tsked at your lack of words and lightly spanked your thigh before tightening his grip around the fat, earning him a surprised squeak from you. “no, use your big girl words baby. i want to hear it.”

the instant tetsurou startled you with the spank, you hurriedly grabbed onto his forearms, lightly digging your nails into the muscles. already, everything was getting too much. his smooth voice seducing you, his dominant touch jumbling up your brain, his urgent need to hear your consent, his pleasant scent of a mix of his cologne, mint and husk surrounding you. him, him, him. you wanted more. you needed more. the slick between your legs grew embarrassingly fast, smearing on the inside of your thighs, showing off kuroo’s effect on you evidently.

“please… please touch me tetsu', I need it”, you whimpered out impatiently, making him close his eyes to stop himself from cumming already, your needy voice going straight to his dick standing at full attention. and even though the menace in him wanted to tease you and hear you beg more; he knew that he didn’t have the willpower to deny himself of having you any longer.

as you felt the tall male finally place his hand underneath your towel and cup your pussy, your head rolled back onto his shoulder, giving him full access to your neck. while dragging his middle and index finger through your folds leisurely, his lips and tongue placed hungry kisses on your neck.

“fuck, angel, you’re soaking wet. Is that all because of me, hmm?”, he lowly murmured against your neck, while his fingers simultaneously slowly circled your clit. you couldn’t stop your eyes from lolling to the back of your head or the small whimper that left you, even though the ‘angel’ left a bitter taste in your mouth. as much as the pet name made your stomach all tingly, you always compared alisa to an angel, so it didn’t quite sit well to be called that by her own ex.

but as you felt his middle finger enter you, all thoughts flew out of your head. The only thing on your mind were the raspy praises against your neck and his finger moving at a torturous pace inside you.

“please tetsu', more, I need more”, you complained whiny, because as much as it was all overwhelming, it also wasn’t enough. kuroo could only grin at your eagerness, but couldn’t blame you, since his own patience was speedily wearing thin.

with an uttered ‘everything for you angel’, he added his index finger into the mix, curling the two digits and, not wasting a moment, pumping them into you at a rapid pace, eliciting a quiet moan out of you. the ex-captain noted that you weren’t much of a moaner and mentally made it a challenge to have you crying for him by the end of the night. so, without much warning, his long, thick fingers started hammering against your g-spot while his thumb circled your clit at the same time, making you squeeze your eyes shut with your mouth opening in a silent scream, your hands searching for stability on the closet in front of you.

“c’mon, y/n, baby, i know you want it, fucking give it to me. ‘been fantasizing about this so long, just wanna make you feel good and fall apart for me. show me how much of a good girl you are.” his smooth voice flowed into your ear, seducing you to fully give into him. you felt as if you were being lured by satan himself and you were just a weak little human, not nearly strong enough to resist the whisper of the devil.

with a series of soft, high-pitched moans, you came on his fingers without any warning, your legs giving out at the intensity of it all. tetsurou only tightened his arm around your waist, picking you up without any trouble, making you clench around nothing at his display of effortless strength as he withdrew his fingers from your dripping hole. you thought you heard a small ‘good girl’, but you couldn’t tell for sure with the way you were still floating on cloud nine after he brought you to your orgasm that quickly.

panting and shivering at the goosebumps erupting, you lifted your gaze up at him as he placed you on your bed, only to find him already staring at you with low lids and completely black eyes, the beautiful hazel color of his eyes lost in all the lust and desire that took over his expression.

refusing to break eye-contact, kuroo lifted his with your essence-soaked fingers to his plush lips, wrapping them around the digits and sucking lewdly at them. once again, you felt yourself clench around nothing, rubbing your thighs against each other to get some relief, when you saw his eyes roll back as he tasted you.

the next thing you knew, your back hit the bed with the broad man lying between your spread legs, making you yelp. you could feel the atmosphere around tetsurou change once again. he was a lot more feral than he was before, as if his patience were running out.

his biceps wrapped around your plush thighs, holding you in place since the feeling of his breath against your cunt made your hips twitch up at their own accord, exposing the strong want you had for the man between your legs.

“’m gonna fucking wreck you angel”, he growled against your slit, before diving right in, licking and sucking messily at your clit, your pussy lips, everywhere he could reach. and as much as it shouldn’t feel pleasurable with him being as aggressive as he was, it felt fucking heavenly. you couldn’t help but arch your back, hands flying down to tangle in his messy rooster hair and tugging at the surprisingly soft strands, causing him to moan hoarsely against your sensitive pussy, the vibrations only egging you on. something about kuroo tetsurou losing his usual provocative, teasing demeanor as he ate you out felt so raw and animalistic, that it made your head spin and toes curl.

his large hand crept up your torso and he finally removed the towel that barely hid your breasts from him before palming one, drawing a content sigh out of you at the attention. but as much as he enjoyed listening to you whine and sigh because of the pleasure he was causing you, he wanted, no, needed to hear how much you wanted this, how much you wanted him.

“tell me how it feels angel, tell me how good it feels. ‘wanna hear your pretty voice, baby”, he huskily mumbled against your clit, making you arch your back at the delicious vibrations echoing through your core. but as much as you enjoyed hearing his dirty talk, you felt insecure about yours not turning him on.

preparing yourself mentally as good as you managed with the way he ate you out like a man starved, you allowed yourself a glance down only to see him expectantly observing you. the erotic sight only coaxed another high-pitched whine out of you, your head lolling back against your pillow.

at the next harsh suck on your sensitive bundle of nerves, your hips thrusted up against his skilled tongue and you finally gave in to your desire of wanting to tell him how good he was making you feel. only him.

“fuck, tetsu', d-don’t stop. feels so good, you feel so good, only you, please, please, please”, you needily moaned while grinding your hips up, simultaneously pushing his head deeper into your pussy and if kuroo had any self-control left, it was definitely gone now.

his toned biceps tightened around your thighs. his large hands squeezed your breast and hip harshly, leaving bruises for you to discover tomorrow. his able tongue messily switched between being shoved deep inside you and swirling your clit and you could feel the bed shake with how forceful he was humping the bed just from eating you out and hearing you talk like that. every little thing contributed to your orgasm washing over you like a tsunami. you were fairly sure you even blacked out for a few seconds because the next time you focused your attention back on tetsurou, he was frantically unbuttoning his jeans, with his shirt already off, whipping out his cock.

you felt your eyes widen as well as your pussy clench, you couldn’t remember the last time you were this horny, but you also weren’t sure how the fuck you were supposed to fit a cock this big and girthy inside you. meanwhile kuroo took off his boxers and contently sighed as he finally started stroking himself, giving himself some relief but it wasn’t enough. not by a long shot.

zoning in on your face once again - sweaty, low lidded eyes, blown out pupils- the impatient boy leaned down and kissed you for the first time that evening. after everything that just transpired between you two, the kiss definitely felt the most intimate, but it was also what you were craving the most from tetsurou for months now.

you didn’t know how to possibly express all the emotions you were currently overwhelmed with, so you tried to translate it all through the kiss. kissing back harder, all teeth and tongue, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer, pressing your thighs against his hips, hoping it was enough to convey what you wanted to say.

apparently, it was, because you could hear kuroo lowly growl against your lips before starting to dig his fingers into your hips and grind against you, finally letting you feel him where you needed him the most.

“n-not enough, tetsu'”, you eagerly whined, raising your hips, hoping it was enough to convince him to finally fuck you like you craved him to. but as thin as his patience was at the moment, kuroo tetsurou would not be kuroo tetsurou without his teasing antics.

he slyly grinned, pressing feather-light kisses down from your lips to your throat, making his way to your breasts, where he teasingly kitten-licked your nipples a few times, letting you think you were finally getting what you wanted before he raised his head and stared you down with his almost pitch-black eyes. “mmm, I know you can do better than that kitten”, he gruffly remarked while continuing to grind against you slowly, making you jerk and mewl every time you felt the head of his cock bump against your clit. “what do you want me to do, baby?”

how he still had it in him to tease and deny you, was beyond you, because you were on the edge of breaking down from how bad you wanted him. “’want you to fuck me, tetsu'”, you confidently said while gazing into his eyes, or at least, you tried to sound confident, but you were only able to whine and moan at this point.

kuroo closed his eyes and felt himself twitch against your pussy. you were going to be the death of him. sitting back up on his knees, he grabbed his cock and lined it up with your entrance, making you spread your legs automatically wider at the sight.

with one sharp snap of his hips, you both groaned simultaneously, your groan high-pitched, his low and guttural, at the feeling you’ve both been craving for. “fuck, you’re on birth control, right?”, he asked, straining himself as to not just start pounding you into oblivion or cum right on the spot.

“yes, shit”, you breathlessly answered, putting your hands against his toned abdomen as to let him know to wait, which only made him clench his abs at the feeling of your soft hands on his exposed skin. “j-just give me a sec, need a moment”, you murmured avoiding eye contact, suddenly shy at the fact that you were just lying there with kuroo balls deep inside you.

sensing your mood shift, the tall male grinned his cheshire-grin at you and teasingly remarked: “why? am i too big for you, huh?”, hoping it’d make you laugh and relax a bit, soon realizing that the idea completely back-fired on him.

as you started to laugh at his arrogant remark, hitting his abs slightly and telling him to shut up, your core clenched in-sync with your laughter, making you freeze at the sudden loud, almost pornographic moan escaping tetsurou’s lips.

looking up at him, you finally realized how much he was holding back as to not hurt you or make you uncomfortable. the handsome boys’ wild hair was already sticking to the sweat forming on his forehead, his jaw clenched painfully, nostrils flaring, eyebrows furrowed, biceps bulging with how hard he was gripping the sheets beside your hips to restrain himself. the thought of him wanting to fuck you so bad but holding back for your pleasure and well-being, was enough to make you clench down on him again, rolling your hips up against his and declaring: “’m ready, tetsu'. please, f-fuck me”.

with your words and the grinding of your hips, kuroo really couldn’t hold back the little stutter his hips did against yours but fuck, was he embarrassed by it. he felt like a teenager, touching real boobs for the first time all over again, knowing he wouldn’t last long. not with how long he had fantasized about this and with how you reacted to his every move and touch, squeezing him so tight, he felt like he wouldn’t even be able to move.

“’m gonna break you”, and with those final words, his large, veiny hands gripped your hips in a bruising, vice grip, pulling out so only his tip was inside your messy, drooling cunt, before snapping right back in, making you choke on your breath at the impact.

as much as kuroo wanted to bust inside you right then and there, the strong urge to see you lose yourself on his cock while he ruined every other man for you was much more prominent. so, the ex-captain rutted in your pussy like his life depended on it, wanting your moans and mewls and whines to never stop. there was so much that was running through his head while being empty at the same time. the only thought was to bring you both to earth-shattering orgasms, but he also wanted to spit in your mouth, choke you, spank your thighs and ass till you wouldn’t be able to sit tomorrow. he wanted to come on your thighs, your tits, face, but he also wanted to breed you.

you two were definitely way too young for children but he couldn’t get the mental image of you, stuffed with his cum with it running down your legs out of his mind, only making it harder for him not to cum immediately.

but you weren’t doing better either. the pace that kuroo was fucking you at, had you seeing stars, riding you up higher on the bed with every thrust and your eyes rolling to the back of your head. you gripped the sheets, his hands, his forearms, your breasts, anything, to try to stabilize yourself as you approached your high embarrassingly fast without your clit even being touched.

just as the thought crossed your mind, you felt tetsus’ calloused fingertips, from years of playing volleyball, circle your clit, causing you to throw your head back with your lips open in a silent scream.

“fuck, you’re so fucking tight kitten, so much better than i ever imagined. cum for me, wanna feel you cream on my fat cock, wanna see you lose your mind baby, give it to me”. at this point, he basically started rambling on about how hot and tight you were, how he wanted you to cum around his cock so badly, how you were gonna make him cum so hard, how you were making such a mess for him, what a good girl you were.

just as you felt yourself almost falling over the edge at the added stimulus to your clit and the filthy praises that were coming out of his mouth, you yanked the boy down by his arm, wrapping your arms around him firmly and kissing him so hard, you were sure you both would have bruised lips later.

with the new position and the intimacy of being pressed up against each other, one more thrust, and you were gone. cumming around his cock so hard, you couldn’t remember the last time someone made you cum that hard, if ever.

the pornographic moans of his name along with some ‘fuck’s and ‘so good’s, the jerking of your body against his and the vice-grip of your pussy on his dick as you came. it was all too much for the poor boy who didn’t even cum once the whole time, while you already had three orgasms under your belt. the last straw was your quiet, little ‘cum inside tetsu', want you to fill me up’ and so, a few short, sloppy thrusts later, kuroo buried his face in your neck, groaning loudly as he came inside, spurting hot, white cum against your abused walls.

the feeling of being filled up to the hilt by kuroo tetsurou was intoxicating. you whined, wrapping your legs around his hips, caging him in so he couldn’t pull out, not wanting the moment to end.

you both lied there, trying to catch your breath. as he pulled out after a few moments and got up to go grab a towel to clean you up, your hand caught his. “don’t go, where are you going?”, you whined needily, wanting to cuddle, to worn-out to care about the mess gushing out of your hole onto the bed sheets.

chuckling, the tall boy leaned down, kissing your forehead: “’m not going anywhere angel, I’m just gonna grab a towel and clean you up”. with that he retreated to the bathroom in search of a towel to use.

you, on the other hand, suddenly sobered up from your drunk-on-lust high at the pet name, making you realize what you just did. fuck, you just banged alisa’s ex-boyfriend. they weren’t even broken off for that long and you already betrayed her.

feeling like a bad friend and complete whore, you didn’t even register said ex-boyfriend was back, making you flinch at the sudden contact of your sensitive pussy with the wet, rough towel.

“relax baby, it’s just me”, he teasingly chuckled, while cleaning you up. when he didn’t hear you chuckle or bite back at his teasing, his expression morphed into a frown, lifting his gaze from your core to your face. “what’s wrong?”

“nothing, thanks.” but of course, you were lying. the panic that slowly settled in your chest was threatening to suffocate you. hell, you weren’t even able to look at him properly.

you felt kuroo grab your chin with his fingers gently, turning your head so you had to look at him. tetsurou was completely serious, he only hoped you weren’t regretting what just transpired between you two, as he repeated: “what’s. wrong?”, emphasizing those two words so you knew there was no point in lying.

feeling your eyes water up, you cursed yourself for showing weakness, since you weren’t one to cry often, especially in front of other people. “what are we going to tell alisa?”

that caught him off guard. “alisa?”, he repeated questioningly, as if he didn’t know what you meant. how could he not know? was he that stupid?

you sat up, rubbing at your eyes frantically with the rising anger inside your chest. “yeah, alisa. your ex. the one that’s like a sister to me. how am I supposed to look her in the eyes after what we just did?”

kuroo wasn’t stupid. you could vouch for that any day. you saw him in your lecture, and you had studied a lot with him, but right now, you were sure he was the dumbest person you ever knew, even beating lev. because even after explaining, he still only looked at you with a confused gaze, saying: “i don’t quite follow?”

groaning, you ran your hands through your hair in frustration, declaring: “you’re really smart, but you’re being so fucking dumb right now. how the fuck am I supposed to talk to one of my closest friends after I fucked her ex-boyfriend, who she loved by the way, not even that long after they broke up?”

finally, it clicked in kuroo’s brain. but the last thing you expected, was to hear him laugh. your head snapped up at the sound, glaring at him you almost growled: “what the fuck’s so funny, you fucking bedhead?”

“oh wow, throwing in the insults huh?”, he said between chuckles. “it’s funny because alisa was the one who encouraged me to come here tonight, though I don’t think she wanted us to outright fuck but, you know.”

what now?

“what do you mean she encouraged you to come here?”, you interrogated perplexed. suddenly he was acting all shy and sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck with his big hand, avoiding your eyes.

“well… we’re still friends, so we were talking about our lectures a week ago and she suddenly mentioned how you also were a fan of 'pride and rejudice'. i just… got kinda excited at that, since alisa wasn’t really interested in things like that, so i started asking her about it. she then called me out on my crush on you, saying she already knows why i was so distracted the weeks leading up to our break-up, thinking about you.”

while listening, your anger slowly morphed into nervousness at kuroo openly admitting he also had a crush on you, but you wanted him to finish his story before addressing the elephant in the room.

“i apologized immediately, thinking she was angry at me, but you know her. she was so sweet, saying she would only be happier if it worked out between us. after, she tried to set us up to talk to each other, but you avoided me like the plague, so she told me to come here before the party since you were running late, to confront you and settle it once and for all but uh…”, he sheepishly smiled, “i kinda got distracted when you opened the door in only a towel, so… that didn’t go as planned.”

sitting with your mouth agape in a ‘o’, your brain tried to process all the information, not knowing what to say to his confession and explanation.

“soooo… she’s not gonna hate me and cancel our friendship?”, you carefully pressed, just to be sure. “no, I don’t think she will”, he chortled.

“oh.”

with that, the room was suddenly extremely silent, making you and kuroo even more nervous. clearing his throat, he couldn’t take the silence anymore. “are you gonna give me an answer to my confession, or am I like, totally embarrassing myself right now?”

“uh, no, yeah”, you softly giggled at his obvious anxiousness. taking his face between your hands, you looked right into his hazel eyes in the dim lighting, before gently smiling at him.

“i like you too, nerd.”

bonus:

the next morning, you woke up to your phone aggressively vibrating on your nightstand beside your bed. you blindly reached out, picking up the call without even opening your eyes, clearly still half-asleep.

“hello?”, you groggily asked your caller, wondering who the fuck was calling you this early, when lev’s voice filled your ear. “y/n? hey, we we’re worried about you yesterday. why didn’t you show up? it was so much fun”, the big, over-grown baby whined.

looking down at the reason you weren’t able to attend the party sleeping soundly with his head on your chest, you smiled, carding your fingers softly through his raven-black hair.

“just… reasons”.

741 notes · View notes

procrastinatingsapphictrash · 3 years

Text

My Tasha

Word count: 7334

Genre: Mostly angst but the ending is fluffy

Pairing: Natasha x fem!reader

Warnings: A sort of suggestive scene? I think that's all (let me know if I need to add any)

Request: congrats on those 500’ love!!! they are well deserved for all of your amazing words 🥺 i was just thinking how cute it be for nat to take a liking to reader, so she tries all those “seductive” tricks the red room taught her, but r just reads it as a cocky fuckboy thing and rejects her? soft!nat appearing later to ask her out? 🥺

Summary: Natasha tries to seduce you at a party but you misunderstand, assuming she's just using you. Both of you mope before realizing what happened.

A/n: Finally I finished this! It was supposed to be 2000 words max but I got carried away and @teenwonder I blame you since you were the one who sent in this idea. I actually really like how this turned out, even if it differs from the prompt slightly so I hope you guys like it too because this probably took at least ten hours to write and I have lost way too much sleep over it. Enjoy!

Natasha looks in the mirror and lifts the corner of her mouth into a slight smile. She looks hot and she knows it, spending hours in front of the mirror perfecting the look. Her eyeshadow screams seduction and her lipstick highlights and colours the natural shape of her lips. Her lashes are curled to perfection and her makeup is applied with the technique she learned years ago that was guaranteed to make people stare. Her hair is straightened because it matches the look and also the last time she straightened it you had complimented her hair so she knows you like it.

Her dress is black, the colour that looks best on her, with a neckline that is dangerously low and the bottom riding dangerously high on her thigh. Her heels are her go to ones for anytime she wants to seduce anyone, they manage to work every time and have become a small symbol of luck for her and tonight she needs all the luck she can get for tonight’s party.

Usually people are easy to seduce, she just has to figure out the likes and dislikes of her target and play up to them. Tonight shouldn’t be much different except for the big added aspect of her actually caring. She’s never had to seduce someone she’s wanted to before so she knows it’s going to be harder than normal. Taking a deep breath she pushes the nerves away and smirks at her own reflection before going to meet everyone in the main room.

Your breath hitches when she walks in and you quickly look away so it doesn’t seem like you’ve been waiting for her arrival. She’s gorgeous, she always is, but tonight there’s something about her that’s different, like she put more effort than usual. You force yourself to stay calm and look away, pretending to still be interested in the conversation you had been having with Carol that you zoned out of the moment Natasha entered the room.

Carol’s looking at you strangely. “What?”

She gives a half laugh. “You think I didn’t notice you drooling over Natasha.”

“That obvious?” you ask and she nods. “Damn.”

“Damn is right, she’s smoking!” Carol whisper-yells, glancing over quickly and then back to you.

“Carol!” you exclaim aghast.

She laughs again. “Don’t worry I’m not trying to steal your girl, after all I have Valkyrie.”

“Yes and you constantly remind me of that.” you mumble which she ignores.

“I’m just saying that some people are already staring at her and are going to be all over her soon, you need to make your move quickly.” she finishes.

“I will.” you tell her, with no real intention of going to talk to her.

“Sure you will,” she says quietly at first before yelling in Natasha’s direction, “Hey Romanoff! Come here.”

Natasha is surprised and she hopes Carol isn’t calling her over because she noticed her staring. Logically she knows that Carol doesn’t want to date you and is dating Valkyrie but it looked far too much like flirting in her opinion. There were whispers and giggles and at one point you got all flustered and embarrassed. She doesn’t like how possessive she feels over you when she has no right to but somehow when it comes to you she can’t quite control herself.

Showing none of the inner thoughts that go through her head she weaves her way over to you. At first some of the team is staring because they got startled by Carol’s yell but a small glare gets them to look away again.

“Hey.” Carol greets when she walks over.

“Hey.” she says back with a smile and it’s not her fault if the smile is a little flirtier than normal and directed more towards where you’re standing. “What’s up?”

“I want to go find Valkyrie and see what’s taking so long for her to come back from the bar but didn’t want to leave Y/n all alone at a party and since you were alone too I thought it would be a great idea for you guys to spend the party together!” she explains quickly. “I’ll come back soon!”

With that she leaves and you and Natasha are left looking at each other awkwardly. She wants to say something to break the silence but all her earlier confidence is gone and she feels like a schoolgirl with her first crush. Which is half true, she is definitely not a schoolgirl but she’s never had feelings like this for anybody before.

“You don’t have to stay here.” you offer, feeling bad that she was forced to come here and babysit you. Carol is your best friend but sometimes you just can’t stand her. This is so uncomfortable and Natasha is looking at you weirdly and you just know that she’ll apologize and leave so she can spend the party with people who actually know how to have fun.

“I know but I want to.” she says and you can’t help looking away shyly and smiling. She smiles herself at your cuteness, now slightly more confident knowing that she can make you react like that.

---

She smirks as for the thousandth time that night you struggle to keep your gaze from dipping below her neck. The dress was a good choice and judging based on your lack of eye contact you appreciate it. She knows you find her attractive, it’s hard not to know that with you staring at her boobs every few seconds but as the night goes on she’s more and more hopefully that you want to date her. Your flushed cheeks and occasional stuttering give you away.

Some guy interrupts your conversation and she resists the urge to punch him. She doesn’t know what he’s here for and shouldn’t punch people for interrupting a conversation with a girl she really really likes (she doesn’t allow herself to consider love just yet).

“Hey beautiful.” he greets her, stepping into her space and ignoring you. Against her better judgment she does punch him and giggles as he staggers backwards muttering about bitches under his breath. Really the punch shouldn’t have affected him that much, it was light and not in an area that would cause serious injury, he was just weak.

“Holy fuck.” you whisper under your breath.

“That didn’t bother you, did it?” she rushes to confirm, not wanting to have upset you by resorting to violence. She wasn’t quite sure how to take your holy fuck, whether you meant it in a good way or not.

“It was so hot.” you breath and then immediately clamp a hand over your mouth once you’ve realized what you’ve said out loud.

You’re about to apologize but she speaks first. “Really?”

You don’t understand how she makes her voice sound so smooth and seductive but it makes your knees weak. You’re nervous but there’s no point in taking it back now and it does seem like she’s flirting with you so you continue.

“Yeah, what can I say I like strong women who don’t take shit from men.” you say, moving closer to her. You haven’t flirted very much before but judging based on how her eyes darken slightly you think it’s working.

She reaches out and runs her hand down the side of your face slowly, making you shiver. “Looks like we have the same type.”

She keeps her hand there for a second then leans in slowly, giving you time to pull away. You’re frustrated by how long it’s taking and try to take a small step towards her so you can kiss her. It doesn’t work well since you forgot you’re wearing heels and lose your balance, making her laugh, her breaths dancing over your lips. And then suddenly she’s not moving slowly anymore and her lips are on yours and it’s all you can think about. Your other senses are all dulled and you kiss her harder to prove that this is real.

After a few seconds she pulls back. “I didn’t want people to see,” she explains when she sees your pout, “hallway?”

You’re not sure if it’s even possible for you to do anything but nod and take her hand as she leads you out. Inside of taking you to the main hall she takes you to a side one that doesn’t get used often and only the avengers have access to. Glancing around again to make sure nobody notices she pulls you inside and immediately you’re kissing again.

She presses you against the wall and you grip her shoulders tightly, your nails dipping into her bare skin. When she pulls back again she notes in satisfaction that your lips are smeared with her lipstick and she applauds her choice of bright red. Inside of going back to your mouth she kisses along your jaw and your neck, the lipstick marking you. Happy with her work she moves back to your lips, humming happily at the feeling.

She likes it even more when she feels your mouth open to let her in, taking the opportunity to explore your mouth with her tongue. You let out a small whine and the noise reminds her of where you are.

“Come up to my room?” she asks, smirking. You’re about to say yes when you notice her smirk. It bugs you for some reason, it makes it seem like she’s winning some sort of prize. Breathing heavily you look more closely at her and notice her heels. It’s her seductive mission heels. And then you realize she often wears a black dress to seduce people as well. You feel like a complete idiot, she doesn’t want you for anything more than a quick fling. This was a calculated move on her part.

“No.” you tell her firmly, only able to hold back your tears due to sheer anger. You thought that you were friends, how dare she try to play with your feelings just because she knew she could. Taking advantage of her shock you push past her, running out of the hall and back into the party. You look like a disaster so as quickly as possibly to rush to the doors and leave, running to your room, thankful that everyone seems too invested in their own conversations to notice you going.

You keep running until you reach your room. It didn’t look like she was following you but you don’t want to take any chances. Flinging off your heels because they’re uncomfortable you launch yourself onto your bed and curl up, pulling the covers over your head and putting your face into a pillow. You’re probably getting her lipstick all over right now but you don’t care, you don’t have enough energy to care right now.

You berate yourself again for how stupid you are. You got so caught up in your own emotions that you didn’t even consider that it didn’t mean the same to her as it did to you. It’s so obvious in hindsight. How after one kiss she wanted to sneak away so nobody saw, her glance back at the room before you entered the hall. She wasn’t looking for a relationship that much was clear. She invited you to her bedroom, not on a date.

You try to reason with yourself to make the pain go away but it doesn’t. You weren’t super close but you considered her a friend. Apparently she didn’t consider you one if she was willing to put your friendship aside for sex. You briefly consider that maybe she didn’t know about your feelings but you shake that thought off. She’s smart and reads people easily, she knew she just didn’t care.

You hate the tears that roll down your face. You can’t tell if they’re from sadness or anger and it doesn’t matter. Nothing seems to matter right now. Sobs wrack your body harder and you scream silently into your pillow. You hate this so much, you hate crying and you wish you could hate Natasha but you can’t. You hate yourself for letting yourself get hurt like this though.

---

Natasha watches you leave. She wants to run after you but the look on your face when you pushed by her stops her. You looked so disgusted that you had just made out with her and she can feel her heart breaking into a million pieces just thinking about it. She doesn't know what she did to get it. It’s obvious that you regretted kissing her but it hurts that you seem disgusted by it.

She allows herself a few moments to stand there and try to comprehend what just went on, a single tear dripping down her face. Swallowing hard she wipes it away and takes a breath to collect herself. She makes sure her dress is straight and runs her fingers through her hair so it doesn’t look too wild.

It doesn’t really matter what she looks like, she’s planning to slip out the back of the hall, the opposite way that you went, so it’s unlikely anyone will see her but she wants to be prepared on the off chance that the halls aren’t empty. Biting her lip to stay calm she walks out the end of the hall and slowly makes her way to her room.

She feels so stupid. She’s not even mad at you for feeling disgusted she’s mad at herself. She got so caught up in her own feeling that she never stopped to think about the fact that you don’t like her back. For a moment it seemed like you did but that was probably you being too nice to say no to her.

Her heels seem to mock her as she walks up the stairs with the way they clip clop. So much for lucky heels, she’ll never be able to use them again without remembering how badly she failed. She tugs on her dress from both the top and the bottom, trying to pull it longer in both directions. She felt so confident in it earlier in the mirror and especially when she caught you staring but now she just feels dirty and slutty.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” she mutters out loud to herself when she finally gets to her room. Looking in her mirror upon entry only makes things worse. She’s lucky that she didn’t see anyone in the halls because even after her attempts at cleaning up she looks like a mess. Her makeup is smudged all over and she can see the upset written plainly on her face.

Usually it’s easy to hide her emotions but usually she doesn’t feel such strong ones. You make her feel and she hates it. Only earlier today she loved that you made her feel. She loved the way her heart fluttered thinking about you and how she wasn’t always perfectly composed. You made her feel normal. But now she hates the way her heart betrays her, happy at even the thought of you.

Her only option right now is to forget and she thanks herself for always keeping a bottle of vodka in her room. A bad habit perhaps, but she rarely drinks from it and it is perfect for this situation. Drinking doesn’t help much, even after a while the hurt is still fresh in her mind, but it stops her from overthinking. When she eventually leaves the bottle and slips into bed it’s nobody’s business but hers if she cries herself to sleep.

---

You bury yourself deeper into your covers when you hear knocks at your door, hoping that whoever it is will go away soon.

“Y/n open up!” you hear Carol shout, still pounding on the door. “Unless Natasha’s with you, don’t think I didn’t notice you left the party earlier.”

Carol’s mention of Natasha makes a lump form in your throat and suddenly you feel the sudden urge to take a shower and wash all of her off you. You must have stayed silent for too long because Carol’s knocking stops and she speaks again.

“If you don’t say anything in five seconds I’m coming in.” she tells you.

You don’t know if you want her here or not. Carol is always good at making you cheer up but you feel embarrassed to tell anybody what happened.

“Four.”

Carol would understand though, she’s never been one to judge people for things and she was the one who helped push you towards Natasha, telling you she liked you back.

“Three.”

You realize that Natasha’s lipstick is still all over you and you’re still wearing the dress from last night. It’s too late to fix the clothes but you try to wipe the lipstick from your neck as quickly as possible (spoiler, it doesn’t go very well).

“Two.”

You’re still not sure if you want her to come in so you open your mouth to try to tell her to go away but the lump in your throat prevents you from speaking.

“One, I’m coming in now.” she says, opening the door. “Is that Natasha’s lipstick?”

It’s too much and you get overwhelmed, bursting into tears. Her grin of triumph from when she saw the lipstick quickly disappears and she rushes over to comfort you, wrapping you in a big hug.

“Do I have to kill her?” she asks, when you’ve calmed down a little bit. If you didn’t know Carol enough to know she’s actually a huge softy you would think she is dead serious.

“No,” you tell her, managing a weak smile at how quickly Carol comes to your defense.

“Are you sure?” she asks. “You have her lipstick all over you and you’re crying because of her. What did she do wrong?”

“It’s not her fault,” you protest. Natasha and Carol are friends and you don’t want them to stop being close because of you.

“It’s not her fault you’re crying?” Carol asks skeptically.

“I-um, she,” you stumble over your words because technically it is her fault you’re crying. “She didn’t mean to.” you finally settle on saying.

Carol doesn’t look any happier with the situation than she did before. “Please tell me what happened Y/n so I can go beat her up for you. Did she try to force herself on you or do anything you didn’t want?”

“No.” you say, shaking your head. Natasha may have only been looking for a one night stand or short fling but you can confidently say that she would never do that.

“Okay, then what did she do to make you so upset? It doesn’t look like she rejected you.” Carol is both stubborn and curious and you sigh knowing you’re not going to be able to get out of this conversation without telling her what happened.

“At first it was really nice, we were talking and then we were kissing. But then-” you pause and take a deep breath as Carol rubs a hand comfortingly on your back. “But then she asked if I wanted to go up to her room.” you pause again, trying not to cry for the second time this morning.

“What did you say?” Carol asks softly, knowing this is hard for you.

“I almost said yes, I was planning to say yes,” you tell her, “but then I looked down at her heels.”

“Her heels?”

“She was wearing the heels she always wears for missions where she has to seduce shady old men.” you explain. “And her dress seemed different than normal, like one she’d wear on a mission and she was smirking at me, like she got exactly what she wanted.”

“She treated you like a mission.” Carol states, a hard look in her eye. “That bitch.”

“Carol,” you warn, “you’re her friend too.”

“And as her friend I’m going to give her some friendly advice.” She emphasizes the word friendly giving the impression that it wasn’t going to be friendly at all.

“It will only make things worse.” you tell her. “I just want to forget about it.”

Carol keeps the hard look but softens a little, smiling at you. “Okay, whatever you want. We could spend the day watching movies and eating ice cream?”

“Okay.” you tell her. You’ve never been heartbroken before but you’ve seen movies and apparently this is what everyone does.

“I’ll go get the ice cream while you pick a movie.” she tells you, standing up. “I’ll even watch a disney one if you’d like.”

You give a halfhearted cheer, trying to convince Carol that you’re excited. She frowns as she leaves the room, that cheer was obviously fake. Any other time and you would be beyond happy that she was agreeing to watch Disney movies with you, you’ve been begging her to for almost a year. She can’t help but feel anger at Natasha and anger at herself. Anger at Natasha for playing with your feelings but anger at herself for pushing you to be with Natasha. She should have realized Natasha wouldn’t treat you right but she was so caught up in trying to pair you together that she didn’t see it.

---

Natasha wakes up as normal, feeling a headache forming already. Glancing towards her alarm clock she sits up in shock when she reads how late it is. She’s never in bed after noon. She groans when she realizes sitting up that quickly was not a good idea and makes her feel nauseous. She takes a few breaths, in and out, to calm herself and tries to remember why she drank so much. She was upset, she remembers that. She was upset because her plan didn’t work.

She feels a sharp pain in her heart when her mental blocks seem to go away and she remembers everything that happened, how the night had been going so perfectly and she had felt so happy only for it to all come crashing down when you ran away, disgusted that you kissed her.

“Stupid.” she tells herself, getting out of bed. She reminds herself of that as she goes about her normal morning routine, washing her face, brushing her teeth and getting dressed. She was so stupid to risk your friendship for something more, now it would be a miracle if you still wanted to be around her. Even if it hurt to pretend you hadn’t kissed she would go back to being friends with you in an instant if you still wanted her. She tries not to think about how big of an if that is.

When she is presentable she decides to head down the kitchen and grab some food. It’s been awhile since she last ate and there’s no use in trying to hide away and avoid her problems; she will either see you and have to confront them or you won’t be there. She knows that hiding away will only make things worse and appear weak, if she leaves her room and pretends everything is normal it will make her seem less hurt than she is.

“Hi Natasha.” Tony says in a weird voice when she enters the kitchen, waggling his eyebrows. She does her best not to show her obvious disappointment that almost everybody is here. The one upside is that you’re not.

“Hi Tony.” she says tiredly, walking over to grab a piece of bread and plopping it in the toaster.

“So Natasha,” he starts, oblivious to her unrelaxed mood, “how was last night?”

Natasha whips around lightning fast, staring at him. “What do you mean?”

He couldn’t possibly have heard, could he? She had hoped to talk to you before word got out about the rejection, to try to keep it on the down-low because the guys would never let her live it down. She assumed you wouldn’t tell anyone but you did leave the hall in the direction of the party so maybe you decided to stay.

“I mean with Y/n.” he says casually as Natasha fights to keep a straight face as her heart beats wildly in her chest. “Don’t think we didn’t notice how you both left early.”

Natasha lets out an almost unnoticeable sigh of relief. He didn’t know anything important.

“Well that may be the case but I can assure you nothing happened.” she tells him.

“Then where is she now?” Tony challenges.

“I don’t know, if you haven’t seen her she’s probably in her room.” Natasha responds smoothly. It’s just her luck that after being rejected by the girl of her dreams Tony thinks they got together.

“And where were you?”

Natasha gives him a deadpan stare. “My own room.”

He scoffs. “First of all you could be lying to us, I know you spies are good at that. But if you aren’t you need to get some balls and ask her out already.”

Natasha scowls. “A man’s balls are the weakest part of his body, I am good without them.”

Tony has enough self preservation to step back for a second. Natasha lets him think that her annoyance is solely over his sexist statement but really it wasn’t that bad and she’s just upset that she can’t have you so she really doesn’t want to be talking about asking you out.

“You should.” Clint speaks up.

Natasha rolls her eyes. “Not you too.”

“See Clint agrees with me and I bet the others do too.” Tony says smugly. Natasha lets her eyes move slowly around the room and one but one they all look away when she catches their eye, showing her that while they are too nervous to outright say it, Tony is right and they do agree.

“I don’t care about that,” she says, “I am not and that’s the end of the story.”

“What not?” Tony persists. “You like her, you can’t deny that, so give me one good reason not to.”

“Because she wouldn’t want to and I respect that.” Natasha says calmly. Inside she feels her stomach twisting and she wants to break something. She may be good at hiding her emotions but this conversation is proving to be next to impossible.

Tony scoffs again. “There’s no way, that girl is so in love with you it’s ridiculous.”

“What’s ridiculous is that you assume things about other people and can’t let this go.” Natasha tells him icily. “You don’t know what she’d say.”

“Then you don’t know either.” Tony counters.

“Then why did she say no when I asked her out last night?” Natasha snaps at him. There are gasps all around the room and to her mortification she is barely holding in the tears that spring to her eyes.

“What?” Sam asks in disbelief.

“I asked her out, she said no and that’s that.” Natasha explains, trying to keep her composure but failing when a tear falls down her cheek. “Excuse me.”

She hurries out of the room, no longer able to handle the talk of asking you out and the disbelieving stares. As she gets back to her room and lies in bed once more she notes in annoyance that she never got her toast. Not that she’s hungry anymore anyway. She doesn’t feel anything anymore except sadness and emptiness. She knew her feelings for you were strong but now that she knows for sure that you don’t want her they feel even stronger and it makes her realize just how much this meant to her and how much she lost.

---

“Hey.” Carol greets as she walks in the kitchen and heads straight for the freezer.

“Morning Carol.” Bruce says, looking shocked when he sees the amount of ice cream she’s holding. “Ice cream for breakfast?”

“It’s for Y/n.” Carol explains.

Tony’s expression turns dark. “What on earth does she need it for?”

“Girl problems, also known as none of your business.” Carols says, in an admittedly sassy voice.

Tony glares. “By girl problems do you mean what happened with Romanoff last night.”

He may tease Natasha but she was like family to him and he would not allow your feelings to be coddled while you stomped all over hers. He doesn’t care if you feel bad for rejecting her, you had flirted and let her on for too long and feeling bad was the least you deserve.

In an instant Carol is across the kitchen and inches from his face. “How do you know?”

“Hey, calm down.” Bruce says, stepping in when he notices Clint and Sam have both tensed up, presumably to defend Natasha’s honor. Even though he’s a man himself he doesn’t understand them sometimes, Natasha was more than capable of taking care of herself and starting a fight between Tony and Carol, the two most stubborn on the team, would only be a headache for weeks to come.

“How do you know?” Carol asks Bruce, thankfully stepping back from Tony.

“She was here a few minutes ago and told us.”

Carol curses under her breath. “That bitch.”

“Hey!” Clint says loudly. “If anyone is a bitch here it’s Y/n.”

“Yes because it’s all Y/n’s fault.” Carol says sarcastically.

Sam decides he’s had enough of Carol. “Yes actually, it is.”

“Bullshit.”

The three of them go back and forth with Carol, mainly cursing and getting a little off topic.

It’s when Carol calls Tony an idiot that Bruce speaks up. “You weren’t here to see Natasha cry.”

“What?” Carol turned to face Bruce, shocked. He isn’t one for petty arguments so she believes what comes out of his mouth. But why would Natasha cry? It doesn’t make sense, she was the one who broke your heart, not the other way around. “Natasha never cries.”

“Well she just did.” Tony says but it’s not in a confrontational tone anymore. He’s not sure what Carol knows but it’s obvious she didn’t know fully what happened.

“Why?”

“It was partly my fault,” Tony admits, “I was teasing her about asking out Y/n and she kept saying no and eventually snapped and told us that she did last night but Y/n rejected her.”

Carol scrunches her brow in confusion. “That’s not what Y/n told me- OHHH.”

“What?” The voice comes simultaneously from all four men at once.

“They are both idiots.” Carol says, smiling and laughing for the first time since entering the kitchen. “They are both huge idiots that don’t know shit about feelings.”

“What?” Tony asks again, wanting to know what Carol’s thinking.

“Okay I’ll tell you but don’t interrupt.” Carol warns and looks at all of them to make sure they nod in agreement. Once she is satisfied she starts. “So this morning I found Y/n in tears and covered in Natasha’s lipstick. Apparently they had fun at the party last night and then snuck away to makeout. Y/n was upset because Natasha asked her up to her room instead of on a date and she noticed that Natasha was wearing her mission heels, do you know them?”

“The ones that she uses to seduce old men for Shield?” Sam asks just to make sure.

“Yep.” Carol confirms. “So anyways Y/n is upset because she thinks that she was just some sort of challenge to Natasha so she left her there…”

“...but Natasha was actually serious about her.” Clint finishes.

Tony laughs. “They really are idiots.”

“I am definitely telling this story at their wedding and to their future kids.” Sam says, also laughing.

“Well first they need to actually talk to each other about this.” Bruce points out, lowering the happy mood of the room. “Right now they’re both in their rooms miserable and feelings like the other doesn’t want them.”

“We should get Natasha to talk to Y/n,” Carol suggests, “because I know that Y/n won’t believe us unless Natasha is the one to tell her.”

“Okay I volunteer to talk to Natasha.” Tony suggests.

“No.” Carol tells him.

“Well you’re Y/n’s best friend so she won’t want to talk to you either right now.” he counters.

“Yes but you’re also a horrible option, I think Bruce would be best for this.”

Bruce looks around the room. “Me?”

“That does make sense,” Clint agrees with Carol, “out of all of us you’re the best at calming people down and she’d be most likely to believe you quicker.”

“But-”

“No buts Brucie, don’t you want to see them together?” Tony pleads.

“Yeah come on Brucie,” Sam mocks Tony, “do it for love.”

Bruce sighs as he watches Tony pout and Sam flutter his eyelashes ridiculously. “Fine.”

“Get straight to the point,” Clint advises, “because she will kick you out if you don’t.”

“Okay.”

Bruce leaves the kitchen to head to Natasha’s room. It took ages for him to be convinced to join the avengers and every day he can’t tell if he regrets his choice or loves his choice. Certainly no other job in the world would force him to go talk to his scary assassin coworker so she and his other coworker can get together. He really isn’t paid enough for this.

A knock startles Natasha. She didn’t think anyone would come after her because she assumed they would all be too scared when she’s in a bad mood.

“Who is it?” she calls out.

“Bruce.”

“Bruce,” she sighs, “I’m sorry but I need to be alone right now, I hope you of all people can understand that.”

“No.” he responds, surprising both her and himself with how determined his voice sounds.

“Bruce-” she starts but he interrupts.

“Hear me out first Natasha,” he begs, “please.”

She thinks about it for a moment before giving up and sighing, she’s not in the mood to spend time arguing. “Fine, but you have to stay outside the door.”

“If that’s what you want.” he agrees, pausing a second to figure out how he wants to word things. “I just came back from an interesting conversation with Carol in the kitchen.” he settles on saying.

“Oh?” She tries not to think about what that means. Carol is your best friend and after her scene in the kitchen this morning she doesn’t think there would be any other reason he would bring her up.

“She was getting ice cream for Y/n because apparently she’s upset.” he offers as a means of explanation.

“Oh.” she says again and it’s so quiet she doesn’t think he heard her. “You can tell Carol that I’ll apologize to Y/n tomorrow, I need to gain control of myself first.”

She never thought about how it would be from your end of things. She forced you into more than you wanted and tried to ask you out and she selfishly focused on her own feelings when you probably were upset that she kissed you. Or you thought you would lose her as a friend. She doesn't think she is capable of talking to you without breaking down right now but in a few days she’ll be fine and able to pretend nothing changed.

“That’s not what she was upset about,” Bruce tells her, “Carol says she was upset because she thought it didn’t mean anything to you.”

“What, why?” Natasha can’t help but let her interest be taken. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up, what Bruce said could mean a lot of different things.

“I feel like I’m in middle school and there’s broken telephone being played between two crushes.” Bruce jokes.

“Bruce, tell me why.” Natasha demands. Her voice is soft but they both know if Bruce stalls any longer she’ll drop the sweet act.

“Well Carol said she said that it seemed like you were acting as if she was your mission to seduce and not like you actually wanted to be with her.” Bruce says, relaying the information.

“Crap.”

Bruce waits for Natasha to elaborate but she doesn’t say anything. “Are you okay in there?”

“Yes, thank you Bruce,” she says, “I need to go fix this, you can leave now.”

He can’t help but feel relieved as he speeds away down the hall. He is never going to do anything like that again, it was way too awkward. He still doesn’t understand how the others forced him to do this, damn his heart for being persuaded it was a good cause. The one upside is that talking to Natasha did seem to work and with any luck she’d be able to fix her mistakes with you. If she didn’t he did all this for nothing and may very well hulk out.

---

Natasha paces back and forth in her room. If Bruce was right (and she has no reason to believe he would lie) you didn’t run away because you didn’t like her, you ran away because you thought she didn’t like you. She winces when she thinks about it. Looking back she can see why you were mistaken and thought she didn’t have true feelings for you because she did treat you like a mark. She analyzed what hairstyle and dress you would like and wore her good luck heels. Even the way she talked and acted was calculated to be exactly what you’d like.

She’s stupid, so stupid and if she had just asked you out in a normal way instead of trying to seduce you she could be on a brunch date with you right now. It had never occurred to her to try it any other way, she was taught that seducing was the easiest way to get people to like you so why should it be different for a normal date? In hindsight using red room techniques to get a date is a horrible idea and she can’t believe she didn’t see it before. Maybe she hasn’t shaken off the red room ideals as much as she thought she had.

The thought scares her, her entire life upon leaving the red room has been dedicated to being a force for good, the opposite of everything the red room stood for so to realize that they still have their claws in deeper than she thought is terrifying. She takes a deep breath and tries to make it go away, which is mostly successful as the thought is reduced to the back of her mind. She can take her thoughts and analyze them later, which is another thing the red room taught her to do she notes, but right now she has to focus on the thing that’s most important, fixing her mistake.

As she walks through the halls to your room she runs through things she should say in her head but nothing sounds right. Perhaps it’s for the best though, that way you can tell she’s genuine and not performing another script. She pauses as she reaches your door, finding herself almost shaking with nerves. What if you don’t want her anymore or Bruce misunderstood or worst of all you still think she doesn’t care?

She almost turns around and goes back, unfamiliar with this type of fear but she knows that if she does all chances of fixing things and having a relationship with you will be reduced to zero. Taking a deep breath she turns the knob and pushes the door open.

You don’t look right away when you hear the door open, too lazy to care. “What took you so long, you were supposed to be back with the ice cream ages ago.”

“I-”

You spin around quickly. “You’re not Carol.”

“Nor do I have ice cream.” She tries to joke but it falls flat.

“Why are you here?” you ask and she winces. It’s blunt and straight to the point, your tone quiet but practically screaming at her to get out.

Since you got straight to the point she decides to do the same. “To ask you out.”

You must look even more shocked than you feel because she quickly jumps in to explain. “That’s what I was trying to do at the party last night, although I know you assumed that I didn’t mean it. I know you noticed the heels and I know I was smirking and it seemed like I was playing you but it really was genuine, I was just trying to do it the wrong way. I was always taught in the red room that to get people to like you romantically the best way to do that is to seduce them but obviously that is wrong and I didn’t realize until too late.”

There’s a lot of information to take in but your mind gets stuck on one question. “How do you know all that about how I felt?”

“Carol talked to Bruce who talked to me.” she says, looking slightly embarrassed at how elementary that sounds. “So?”

“So what?” You know she wants to know if you’ll go out with her for real and you really want to immediately say yes but you also want to hear her ask you properly.

She seems to understand. “Will you go on a date with me Y/n?”

You hesitate one moment before responding. It’s unnecessarily mean but you just spent a good portion of last night and this morning crying over her and besides, she looks absolutely adorable as she shifts her weight from side to side nervously. She looks exactly how you want her to look, no makeup and wearing sweatpants. It’s natural and genuine and everything you would have loved to see last night.

“Yes.”

“Oh thank god.” she laughs in relief, the pitch of it breathier than normal.

“I like it when you do that.” you tell her.

She furrows her brow, confused. “Do what?”

“When you laugh like that or wear old clothes, like you’re not trying to impress me.” you explain.

“So when I do the opposite of what I did last night?” she asks, laughing at herself for being so stupid. Of course you didn’t fall for all the acts, if you did she wouldn’t like you as much as she does. You make her feel different and that’s a good thing, she shouldn’t have to act around you.

“Yeah, don’t get me wrong last night was hot,” you tell her, “but it’s not you. That’s agent Romanoff putting on whatever mask she needs to be for the night, this here is my Tasha.”

“Your Tasha, huh,” she teases, “possessive much?”

“Sorry.”

“No,” she tells you, “I like it. I don’t need to put a mask on around you because you’re you and I am your Tasha. But you’re also mine.”

“All yours.” you confirm and she visibly shivers. “Apparently I’m not the only possessive one.”

“Apparently.” she says looking at you in a way that makes heat rise to your cheeks.

“Since we wasted time last night maybe we could start with a movie date right now?” you suggest shyly, changing the topic.

“Well we do have time to make up for.” she agrees, sitting down on the bed beside you. “What movie?”

“Mulan.” you tell her pressing the remote to drop the tv down into your room. There were definitely benefits to living with Tony.

“A disney movie?” she asks skeptically.

“Have you seen it?” you ask already knowing the answer before she shakes her head. “Then don’t knock it, it’s a great movie.”

“If you say so.” she says, still slightly skeptical but much more open to it. Even if the movie is garbage she doesn’t think she’d mind watching it with you. She definitely doesn’t mind it when your head drops onto your shoulder and you fall asleep, tired from the emotional rollercoaster you just went on. And when the movie ends she doesn’t move, happy to have you there, even when hours later her shoulder is all tense and cramped. It scares her how much she feels for you already but it also feels freeing, she knows she is not just the product of the red room because their biggest rule is to not fall in love and she’s definitely going to break that soon, if she hasn’t already.

---

Taglist: @fayhar@xxxtwilightaxelxxx@acertainredhead@madamevirgo@megaqueenmaeve@cherryblossomskye@aaron-despair@chickenhavewisdom@emril-osvigne@nyankitty987@agathaharkness-simp@midnight-lestrange@usernames-are-difficult (couldn't tag)@thewidowsghost@nyx-aira@stephanieromanoff@Satxnsupreme@likefirenrain@wlwlovesreading@natashadeservedbetter@stop-drop-and-drumroll@peggycarter-steverogers@casperlikej@redswing@mochamoff@king-star@blackbat2020

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fic #black widow fic #marvel fanfiction #mine

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michiieewrites · 4 years

Text

THORST COLLAB: Bakugou - Starving till I tasted you

A/N: First: IF YOU’RE UNDER 18, BEGONE FROM MY BLOG SINCE I WRITE MATURE CONTENT!! This one has been sitting in my documents for almost 2 months now. This week inspiration finally struck me once again tho!

This fic is actually a Thorst Collab between my lovely friends & I on Discord. I’m the first one to post mine, so I can’t wait to see what the others will write!

Now.

STRAP ON YOUR SEATBELTS CAUSE THIS MOTHERF!@#$%CKER IS 4.2K+ WORDS LONG

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If someone told you a year ago that you would have enough money to pay off your student debt, buy your dream apartment, help out your family and friends, move abroad and drive in a ’67 Chevrolet Impala, you would’ve died laughing at the joke.

You told yourself it was stupid, buying that lottery ticket. But here you are; $100.000.000,- on your bank account. A young and now rich Omega in her prime. After making sure you had spend part of it wisely, you made sure to live the rest of your life on interest alone.

The first month had been nice. Decorating your new place, going out for dinner every day, getting a new wardrobe, spoiling yourself silly. You got new nesting materials, softer blankets and bigger pillows. It felt nice. Until it didn’t anymore. It started to feel pointless and empty. You felt like you were becoming one of those people that flaunt their money and that isn’t the type of Omega you are.

So here you are. Sitting in your peach colored dress and a numbered paddle in your hand. Tonight, you attend a charity auction. The charity was a rehabilitation program for criminals who want to get back on the right path.

The auction items aren’t exactly… items. They’re Pro Heroes. People could bid on having a date with some of the most desirable Pro Heroes, Alphas, Betas, Omegas, all of them. Even No. 1 hero Deku and No. 4 hero Red Riot are up for auction, both being Omegas.

One of the last dates are being auctioned and you realize you have been zoning out. Not having bid anything yet, you put up your paddle.

“Going once, going twice… SOLD TO NUMBER 917 FOR TONIGHT’S HIGHEST BID OF $300.000,-! A date with explosion pro hero Ground Zero!”

Oh lord. Yes! You got- wait… You got actually got it? You won a date with Pro Hero Ground Zero. Wasn’t he the one with the explosion quirk? Impressive power and always capturing the villains. What separates him from Deku is his social skills. Or lack thereof, to be more precise. Ground Zero isn’t really the type of hero to stick around the people he saved to see if they’re okay.

On top of all that he’s also an Alpha. Highly sought out by Omegas who want a pup, but not the Alpha. His genes are what people want, not the man himself. His personality also making it harder for people to approach him. And you just won a date with the most desired and aggressive Pro Hero Alpha there is.

“Oi!”

The voice behind you pulled you from your thoughts. The subtle scent of caramelized candy apples caught your attention. You turn around and find a handsome Alpha standing there. Arms crossed, cardinal red eyes watching you and his lips in an almost angry looking pout. This is the man you just bought yourself a date with.

“H-hi!” you manage to stammer out.

With a huff, he places a card on your table. You pick it up and see that it’s a business card from Ground Zero’s agency. At the bottom, writing in sleek handwriting, is a phone number. You look back up at him, ready to ask him why he gave this to you. But he’s already turning around and heading for the exit.

“Just contact me when you wanna plan that date things.”

And just like that, you had Ground Zero’s personal phone number.

~ A few days later ~

You’re sitting at a small booth, sipping on your matcha latte. You were a half hour too early, so you decided it wouldn’t hurt to go ahead and order a drink before Bakugou would arrive. In his very first text he made it clear to call him ‘Bakugou’ and not by his hero name. He said that it would feel too much like an interview otherwise. In return you told him to just call you ‘Y/N’.

After some back and forth texting the last couple of days, you two agreed to meet up at a local coffee shop. Not a lot of people know about this shop. It’s small and the interior looks more like cozy living room than a flashy coffee shop. It was your favorite place to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee, tea or like right now, matcha latte.

Neither of you had any set plans for the rest of the day. Just kind of going with the flow seemed like the way to go. This would give you the freedom to hopefully have a quiet ‘date’. But you can’t really know that for sure when the person you’re on a date with is a Pro Hero.

The sound of the bell above the front door rings. You look up and see him walk in. Sitting all the way in the back, you can’t even smell him scent. Weren’t Alpha’s supposed to have very strong scents? Maybe he’s on suppressants?

He scans the shop, probably looking for you. His eyes land on you. He walks over and sits across from you. He leans back against the chair and swings his right arm over the arm rest while the left one is resting on the table. His eyes trail down from your face to the drink in your hands.

“I see you couldn’t wait for me to arrive,” he gruffly says.

“Uh-uhm, yeah. Sorry, I was super early. I hope you don’t mind.”

The silence that spreads between you two makes your Omega feel uncomfortable. Something doesn’t feel right and you’re starting to think that the Alpha in front of you truly doesn’t want to do any of this. So, to make it a little more bearable for yourself, you pump out a small amount of calming pheromones. Just to take the edge of this meeting.

Bakugou keeps looking at you. Until he finally picks up the menu card and says: “It’s fine. It’s your day, after all.”

He was right, you figured. But you still wanted him to have a pleasant time today too.

And so the day continues. The conversation isn’t very lengthy or deep. You discuss basic things like work, hobbies, favorite food. After a while the conversation kind of dies down. You suggest you two head out and into town. The man in front of you doesn’t seem overly thrilled about it, but still agrees.

When you go up to the front to pay, you hear him quickly walking up to you. He pulls your arm back. Surprised, you let out a small sound of shock and look up at him. A confused look is on his face and he pulls his hand away from you.

“The heck are you trying to do?”

Confused, you say: “Uh, paying?”

“I see that, but why? Omegas don’t pay when they’re with Alphas.”

Wow. At first you didn’t know how to respond to this remark. True, Omegas usually aren’t the ones paying on dates. In the past an Alpha would go out and hunt for their Omega. Since the hunting days are over and many Omegas work nowadays, treating them on dates are a way to show the Omega they can provide for them.

“Well,” you say as you hand over the money to the Beta barista behind the counter and thank him, “I don’t know about other Omegas, but I’m perfectly capable of paying for drinks too. I can provide just as well as any Alpha.”

You two walk outside and turn left to head into town. You’ve been meaning to go to the bookstore and hopefully find some new reading material. Two birds, one stone, right?

“Tsk, should’ve known a rich Omega like you doesn’t like to be told what to do,” Bakugou mumbles to himself.

You stop in your tracks. What? Was that really what he thought of you? A rich and snobby Omega?

Realizing you’re not walking beside him anymore, Bakugou turns around. Your head is bowed in shame. Normally your scent smells like peaches and hazelnuts, but now it turns into that of rotten fruit. You feel called out. For winning the lottery, for treating this Alpha to some drinks, for basically buying yourself a date with someone who clearly wishes to be anywhere else but here.

Your voice shakes, but you gather all your courage. “I’ll admit I was given a lot more financial freedom recently. And yes, I don’t like being told what to do. I believe everyone should be treated equally, regardless of their second gender. But I have never in my life asked for something. I was taught to work hard, to help people and to help and reward the people that help you.”

You pick up your head and look him straight in the eyes, politely smile and say: “I’m sorry you had to do this. This isn’t really how you planned your day would go. You can go, if you want to.”

As you pass him, determent to still go to the bookstore, you feel a weight being lifted from your heart. It really is unfair to the Alpha to make him go on a date with someone he doesn’t like. Deep down inside your Omega whines sadly. She recognized a good and safe provider in the Alpha, one who isn’t driven by hormones to just get an Omega pregnant. One who isn’t controlled their Alpha status. Too bad his Alpha isn’t interested in the Omega.

“Fuck, crap- wait! Shit!”

The cursing Alpha quickly catches up to you. He stops in front of you, holding up his hands to halt you. “Okay, fuck-just… let me explain.”

You cross your arms at him and wait for him to continue.

“Okay, so… Listen, I’ve been a real dick to you. Not just today, but basically since that charity event when I gave you my card. It was wrong of me assume anything about you. Shit Y/N, you’ve been nothing but nice to me. You don’t mind carrying the cost of a date, you’re not flaunting it around town that you’re spending time with a Pro Hero, you put up with my shitty responses and that isn’t how you should be treated. Or anyone for that matter! You deserve a proper date. So just, maybe I can make it up to you?”

By the end of his apology, Bakugou practically gives you angry puppy eyes in an attempt to ask for forgiveness. He reminds you of an angry Pomeranian. Smiling, you tell him that you forgive him. This day is supposed to be a fun one.

“But! You’ll have to carry the books I’ll buy as a punishment. And just so you know, I always come out with two shopping bags,” you tell him.

Bakugou just grins. “Fine. They’ll probably weigh nothing for me.”

Something in the air changes. A little sniff of your nose helps you identify the change. The scent coming from the Alpha next to you is slightly peaked. You heard that when an Alpha is preening their scents get stronger. You hardly think that’s the reason. Maybe it’s just because he’s in better mood now. Whatever the reason, you find yourself agreeing with your Omega; it’s a very nice scent.

~ An hour and a half later ~

“I’ve never met someone who spends over an hour inside a bookstore!”

“I told you when we came in that it could take a while,” you reply to Bakugou’s complaints.

“You do this with nesting stuff too? You know, blankets and shit,” he asks.

In both his hands, Bakugou is carrying a bag containing close to twenty books you can add to your bookcases back at home. Even underneath the sleeves of his hoodie you can see the muscles of his arms. He’s not as bulky as Pro Heroes Deku and Red Riot, but those muscles are pretty impressive. You bet your money that those thighs could squish a watermelon. You can practically feel the water filling your Omega’s mouth. She wants nothing more than to chomp down on those delicious shoulders. And honestly, you wouldn’t mind that either.

You remember you were asked a question. “I do. How else am I gonna know I made the right choice? All of those blankets and shit, as you put it, go in my nest. I’m at my best with a perfect nest.” A confident smile forms on your face and from the corner of your eye you can see Bakugou looking at you. A small smirk creeps up on his face.

While enjoying our little banter, you both failed to notice the Alpha towards the two of you. Until he opened his mouth. “I bet I can make your nest even better, little Omega.”

The other guy stops right in front of you, completely ignoring the Alpha next to you. You’re shocked and take a step back to create some distance between you again. But the guy doesn’t let up and steps closer again.

“No, now get lost,” you firmly say. This wasn’t the first Alpha-asshole you encountered.

“Awh, why the sour face, baby? Bet I’ll be more fun than the hedgehog here.”

“Oi, asshole! She said to get lost.” The smells of pheromones of two Alphas are dominating the air. The strongest one being the creepy guy, Bakugou’s not so much. You honestly confused on that point. With an Alpha as desirable as Bakugou, you truly expected a stronger scent.

You can’t help but release your own distressed scent. The tension is getting to you. Even other people noticed and are stopping to see how this plays out.

The creep briefly looks at Bakugou before returning his attention on you. “Come on, baby. Ditch this guy and then you and I can have our fun. What do you say?”

He extends his hand to put it on our waist and before you know it, you slap his hand away and punch him in the face. He stumbles back while cupping his now bleeding nose. Screaming in pain and shouting names at you. He’s beyond pissed; punched by a fucking Omega!

The adrenaline is pumping through you and every instinct in your body is telling you to run. Hide. Find an Alpha to protect you. You’re frozen on the spot. Your mind shutting down.

That’s when you feel a hand tugging you away. Your Omega recognizes the person this scent belongs to. Caramel candy apples. Bakugou.

You don’t know where he’s taking you. Your mind still processing things. All you know is to follow. ‘Cause he’ll lead to safety. Alphas keep Omegas safe. Follow. Safety. Alpha.

By the time you get to take in your surroundings, you realize you’re in an office. An office? What are you doing here? You look around and see a wooden desk with a black leather chair. A small bookcase, a closet and a couch with coffee table. A puffy black rug is covering the wooden floor, complimenting the one black wall behind you. The other walls are a tinted orange color.

The scent hanging in this office is… comforting. Soothing. Safe. You’re safe in here.

You’re seated on the couch. Wrapped in something soft. A blanket. A big, fluffy and soft blanket. The scent is even stronger on the blanket. You slowly inhale, imprinting this delicious mix of sweetness. After a couple seconds you finally notice the man next to you. Bakugou grins as he sees your focus shifting to him.

“I take it the blanket is approved,” he jokes.

You slowly nod. This small little cocoon makes you feel less vulnerable. Just like the presence of Bakugou next to you. It feels right. “Where are we?”

“Oh yeah, fuck. We’re at my agency. This is my office.”

You’re confused. “Your office? Why? I’m sorry, I kind of… froze. Can you tell me what happened afterwards?”

The smile that spreads on his face makes you feel funny inside. “What happened?! Y/N, you punched that fucker right in his fucking face! Shithead had it coming, tho. You just beat me to it. Omega or not, you know how to fight.”

You two look at each other and burst out laughing as you think back to that glorious moment. The creep definitely didn’t see your punch coming. It feels good to know the man next to you thinks you’re a decent fighter. He seems to actually be enjoying your company. Maybe he’s one of those people that are careful with who they get comfortable with. It feels good to know he feels like he can relax a bit more around you now.

You jokingly nudge him and say: “I bet I can even take you on, you big grump.”

“Oh yeah?” His eyebrow is raised, grinning with his canines on display. “Prove it then.”

Knowing a challenge when you see one, you keep your eyes fixed on his cardinal ones and slowly lean in closer. Baring your neck to the side in submission to lure in his Alpha. Your Omega is very pleased by the motion. Just as he moves to lean in too, you throw the blanket in his face, grab his neck and shove him down on the ground. Stradling him and jabbing your elbow into his side, pressing your nails into the skin of his neck.

Smiling down at the man below you; “How’s that, Alpha?”

A short lived victory as he snarls and the two of you roll over, with Bakugou keeping you pinned underneath his weight. He may not look like it, but this man weighs a ton!

“If you’re trying to be a worthy opponent, why not call me by my first name? It’s ‘Katsuki’,” he breathes heavily atop of you.

Next to your ear you hear a low grumbling sound. Still seeing this as a playfight you laugh and reach back. Your fingers finding pressure points in his neck, making him let go of you. This gives you the chance to overpower him again and straddle him once more while holding his wrists above his head.

Victorious once again, you look down. Growling and teeth bared, the air around you growing thick. The smell surrounding you hits you like thunder. The caramelized candy apple scent overwhelming your senses. Your eyes travel down to his neck and see something you failed to notice before; gland patches. Patches to block someone’s scent from becoming too noticeable. That’s why the other Alpha smelled so much stronger. But now, now you’re drowning in it. You can pick up on rage, possessiveness and… arousal. As much as he’s growling and snarling at you, you know that he’s enjoying this too.

Chuckling at you, he cranes his neck. His face now closer to you than a moment ago. “I’m pretty sure I just got my ass handed by the most perfect Omega.” His words push through the alarm bells his instincts are sending off. His Alpha is not pleased about being pinned down. But as it takes in the Omega’s scent of peaches and hazelnuts, it can’t help but lie down and surrender itself to this tasty smelling Omega. An Omega that can fight back. An Omega that can hold him close. An Omega worthy of carrying his pups.

His Omega.

Before either can properly get out any words Bakugou has wrestled his hands free and grabs a hold of your hips while your hands pull his face closer and seal the distance between your lips. The taste of sugar coated apples is even stronger on his lips and you can’t get enough of it.

His fingers press deeply in your skin, kneading the flesh. His hips pushing upwards while holding you in place. The low rumbling sound in the back of his throat being accompanied by your mewling. You wanted more of him, your Omega needed more.

The Alpha makes his displeasure heard. You both part to breathe in fresh air. His lidded eyes are on fire and following every movement you make. Your hands slip down to his collarbones and settle on his shoulders. The path of your hands make Bakugou throw back his head. His body is pressing into yours desperately, like he has no control over it anymore. His growling increases in volume.

Through gritted teeth he manages to speak to you. “Fuck, Omega. What are you doing to me?”

Taking a leap of faith, you answer: “I don’t know. All I know right now is that I need capable Alpha to take care of me. Are you that Alpha, Katsuki?”

Before you can even blink, you’re being rolled over again. This time you’ll let him have his way. His hands are sliding their way up to your chest, grabbing the front of your shirt and tearing it apart. You try to protest, but you’re stopped by the warning growl of his Alpha. You lay back down and occupy yourself with running your fingers through his hair. Your gently massage making the Alpha let out a content sound.

Entranced by the man above you, you hardly even notice his onslaught on your clothes. And his own clothes. Getting those replaced will be a worry for later, your Omega decide. All you need to focus on right now is Katsuki. You want this Alpha to mate you and it needs to happen right now, or else your Omega just might perish on the spot.

That’s when you feel it. The hard and heavy feeling of his cock rutting itself against your core. Your body can’t help but react to it and release a good amount of slick. Katsuki’s mouth nipping along your collarbones as your bare you neck in submission. You feel his fangs graze your scent glands and you start to whimper desperately.

“Fuck, Y/N. Keep making those pretty noises,” Katsuki says.

“Yes, Alpha, yes. Just-ah shit! Just fuck me already!” you loudly exclaim.

Now who is Katsuki to deny such a nice plea from such a good Omega?

Wasting no time, he slides himself inside. The stretch making you cry out for more, deeper, more, anything he can give you. You just know you need more. Barely able to hold himself back from ramming himself inside and fucking you like you’re in a heat, he takes his time for your to fully take him in. A sigh of satisfaction leaves you both when he finally does.

Your legs wrap around his waist and try to pull him deeper in. Your fingers curl around his spikey locks and tug harshly to get him moving. Grunting, Katsuki finally complies. Being buried inside you sends him into over-drive. You feel too damn good around him. He feels too good inside you as he sets in a brutal rhythm. You’re pretty sure no other man could ever make you feel this good. No other Alpha could ever please your Omega ever again. Feeling his body slam into yours like his life depends on it is possibly the best feeling in the world. Your lungs are sending out a mix of his name, pleas for more, for him to go faster.

Katsuki can’t help it, he can’t stop himself anymore. He need to do this, he needs you, his Alpha needs to mate your Omega. Give her everything she wants and all that she’ll take. Only the best for his Omega, he will be worthy of giving her pups.

You can feel the base of his cock starting to inflate. His knot. His knot is growing. As soon as you notice, you start to claw at his back. A need filling you till the point you’re almost bursting.

“Alpha! Knot, please- Alpha, knot me- I need- Need your knot, Alpha!” you scream in desperation.

He wants to. Oh, he wants to so badly. But in the back of his mind there’s one braincell left that tells him that now is not the time nor the place. His Omega deserves better.

“You deserve better than to be knotted in my office, Y/N,” he moans, “please give me a chance to give you something better one day. I’ll be the best fucking Alpha there is!”

You love the sound of that. Something better. Somewhere in the future. A future with Katsuki. “Yes, Kastuki! Only you, you’re the only Alpha, please, I’m so cl-“

The moment he sinks his teeth into the flesh just above your collarbone, you’re send into a world of blinding lights and exploding fire. His name keeps falling from your lips. The waves of fire keep pulsing through your body.

The tight grip around him becomes too much for Katsuki. He needs to pull out or else he’ll knot you for sure. When he you keep chanting his name, he pulls out and covers you in thick, long, white streams of his cum. Covering you in his seed, marking you as his in an obscene, but beautiful way.

“Look at you, perfectly covered in my cum,” he pants.

You preen at the compliment. A content scent is released. The smell of a happily fucked Omega. Katsuki could get addicted to this smell.

With the shredded pieces of clothing he cleans you up. He pulls the blanket you discarded earlier over you both as he lies down next to you. Your tired and warm body cuddles closer to him. He drinks in your scent a you purr softly.

“What did you have the blanket for in your office?” you ask with a yawn.

Katsuki looks down at your half-asleep face. A smile forms on his lips as he gently kisses the top of your head.

“I kept it for my future mate.”

Tagged: @reinawritesbnha @thots4daze @hipster-merchant-of-death @aizawascumslut @strawbirb @ravenfeet222 @sailor-manga @yanderart @league-of-villians-headcanons

#bnha #bnha fic #mha fic #bnha bakugou #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou katsuki #alpha bakugou #alpha bakugou katsuki #alpha bakugou x reader #michiiee writes #bnha smut #bnha a/b/o #omegaverse #bnha omegaverse #bakugou x reader #plus ultra #bakugou fic #bakugou smut

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strangelysamantha · 3 years

Text

elderly advice ❀

rafe cameron x plus!reader.

warnings: slight bullying for weight, harsh words, mention of a grandpa, use of word baby, swearing, physical and verbal fighting.

words: 1,964.

summary: when you work at a golf course as a cart girl, you are happy because that means you’ll be seeing rafe more often. but, there’s a downside when you realize that kelce and topper will see you more often as well, and with seeing them more often, you also get to hear their harsh words.

request? nope :)

a/n: i’m just overflowing with idea’s right now. :) i hope you all enjoy this story. it’s angsts at the beginning but it turns into fluff i promise! like and comment if you enjoy this story so i know what you guys want me to write more of. ily thanks! <3

my masterlist

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“you’re a fat ass who shouldn’t be working here. point blank, there’s nothing else to be said.” kelce stared at you in disgust, his eyes dragging up and down your body. topper laughs in agreement, “damn straight. we are trying to golf, not be distracted by a beluga whale who doesn’t belong here.” you quickly hand them their drinks. you ignore their remarks, just trying to finish your shift. tears slowly fall from your eyes but you wipe them as soon as they touch your nose. “can i get you anything else?” you ask, slightly urgent to ensure you leave before your boyfriend comes back.

rafe and you had been dating. not in secret, everyone knew you two were dating. which included kelce and topper. despite them knowing that, they didn’t stop being rude to you every chance they got. they believed you weren’t worthy for rafe, and that he could do much better than you. “yeah, actually. can you give us some space? damn, you are fucking all over us.” you shake your head, speed walking away. you take a deep breath, trying to slow your breathing so you could stay calm. after a few minutes of air, you got back to work. out of the corner of your eye, you see rafe had joined his friends. you avoided going over there, especially since you had just served them.

you walk over to an older man, he smiles lightly at you. “thank you.” he replies softly, taking the drink you were handing him. “why do you let them talk to you like that?” he asks, clearly indicating he had seen the whole event that just happened. “i don’t- i don’t know what i can say. if i say what’s truly on my mind, i’m afraid i’ll lose my job.” your lips curl into a small smile. you acknowledge him nodding his head before you walk off to the next table.

when you turned around, the old man you once saw had got up and moved. you search around to ensure he wasn’t complaining about your service and that’s when you finally spot him at rafe’s table. your breath gets caught in your throat. you profusely apologize to the table you were currently serving, before you start to walk in the old man's direction.

the old man looked familiar, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. once you get closer to the table, you can hear their conversation. you arrive at the table, swiftly shielding your body with the circular drink holder that was once placed on your flat palm.

“is there a problem?” topper asks, smiling. the old man chuckles, “do you believe there should be a problem?” he asks. your heart beats faster as you fear what the man's next words might be. obviously you don’t want topper and kelce to treat you with hostility, but you didn’t want to go against them in fear that rafe would choose their side. “no sir, no problem here. you are the one who came up to our table.” kelce exclaims before putting on a fake smile when glancing at you.

your eyes are wide, and you calmly tap the old man's shoulder. “i’m sorry sir, is everything okay? is there something you need in particular? i would happily assist you and grab you anything you need.” he glances down at you, now noticing that rafe had placed his arm around your waist. he clearly notices rafe's gesture and laughs lightly. “girl, you deserve so much better.” you nod slightly, but he continues. “i’m assuming that this is your boyfriend?” he asks. rafe smiles, “yes, i’m the boyfriend.” you couldn’t understand the tone in his voice. whether it was protectiveness, jealousy, or just plain amusement, there was definitely something off.

“well, isn’t this a funny picture?” you frown at his words. your eyes plead to him to drop it and move on but he shakes his head, not budging. “that boyfriend of yours sweetie,” his eyes are trained on you. “does he know that his friends harass you every chance they get?” rafe's’ smile has fallen from his face, anger now bubbling up. “what are you talking about?” his eyes narrow, waiting for his response. “i hate to break it to you, but those friends of yours mistreat your girlfriend daily. i’ve see it everyday, she’s just walking around doing her job, and your hooligan friends fat shame and cuss her out. but obviously as her boyfriend you knew that right?” he questions, rafe's grasp on your waist tightens when you begin to walk away. his hands prevent you from walking off.

“not so fast.” rafe says, now standing. “who is this guy?” you hesitate, but he answers for you. “this guy is her great grandpa who has just flown to town a week or so ago.” your face drops as the realization hits you like a ton of bricks. your great grandpa. you hadn’t ever met your family, unless they lived in the house with you. you had only met him once for a family reunion when you were seven.

“oh. sir- i’m sorry i didn’t mean to…” grandpa cuts him off immediately, “i shouldn’t be the one you are apologizing too.” he nods, but before rafe can register it you had already ran to the employee only break room. you slide down the wall, your arms wrapping around your legs as you begin to weep. it’s hard to breathe as you realize that rafe now knows. the next interaction with rafe is detrimental as it will showcase if he truly loves you, or if he would rather choose his friends.

“sir! you can’t be back here! i won’t hesitate to call security!” your fellow employee called out. you had a huge inkling that they were talking to rafe. “call the security, i don’t give a shit. i need to go back there, my girl is back there and i know she’s not doing okay.” rafe pushes past them and sees you crying on the floor. his heart burns in his chest as he sees the distraught state you were in. “baby…?” he questions.

“yes, rafe?” you respond, your head still hiding in your palms. “baby look at me, please.” you hesitated, but inevitably lifted your face up. he rushed over, sitting in front of you, “what do they say?” he immediately asks, while he wipes away your stray tears. you frown recalling the numerous events where his friends would bully you, “which time?” you ask. his heart drops at your words. he hated to admit it, but he was oblivious to what they were doing to you.

“please. you have to tell me what they were saying to my baby.” he frowns, his voice being lighter than you’ve ever seen it. “rafe-,” you try to tell him to drop it, but he shuts you up immediately. “what the fuck do they say to you? i’m not playing any games.” you breathe out, “they just say i don’t deserve you, and that you could do better, and that they think i’m a fat waste of space.” his grip on your hand tightened. “what the fuck...” is all he said before he stood up and stormed out of the room.

you quickly wipe your tears away, before following after him. by the time you catch up, he’s already yelling at both topper and kelce. “why the fuck have you been saying that shit? it’s not your fucking place to say shit like that about my girl!” rafe’s hand were grasping at toppers t-shirt. your hand covers your own mouth as the event in front of you unravels. “trust me rafe, we’re doing you a favor.” rafe scoffs, pushing topper, as he stumbled back. “fuck you mean man? i don’t need any favors from you.” rafe’s yelling caused a commotion as half the guests were now staring.

you frown, not knowing what to do. “alright. so what? we make a few jokes. it’s not our fault she’s so sensitive and takes everything to heart.” kelce laughs, and so does topper. “for real, she’s being extra like always. what’s fucking new.” topper exclaims, he now has regained his balance, rafe stands straighter. “you guys are assholes, you know that right? i mean what? you thought i’d never find out?” topper laughs, “well obviously, we knew she’d never tell you. i mean, we’ve been messing with her for fucking months man.” rafe’s anger grows stronger, he knew it had been going on for a while, maybe a week or two. but months??

rafe looks back at you, his eyes softening. you’d been dealing with his friends, taking every low blow and jab just so you could be with him. rafe’s attention returned to kelce and topper. “we will talk about this later. fuck both of you. that’s fucked up, regardless if she was my girl or not. such fucking dicks.” rafe pushed them both one last time before hurrying to your side.

his arms immediately find a placement against your hips. you avoided eye contact. “come on baby, let’s go.” he grabbed your hand and walked you to his car. luckily your shift had ended so you wouldn’t get in trouble with work. once inside his car, he starts it. before he pulls out of the parking lot, he’s staring at you, a question lingering in his mind.

“baby?” he quietly asks, his entire demeanor changing from just a few minutes ago, his hand reached for your thigh. “yes?” you reply, finally gaining enough courage to maintain eye contact with him. “why…” he hesitated but decided to ask anyway. “why didn’t you tell me that they were doing that? if i had any idea they were doing that… i mean, they wouldn’t even hear the end of it.” you frown. “do you want the truth?” you wait for his response. “yes.” you nod, “well. i was scared that you would pick them over me.” he was speechless. his jaw clenched as his grip on your thigh tightened.

“baby. i would never condone what they were doing. they are fucking assholes. they were undoubtedly trying to ruin the best thing i have. i would never choose them over you. i don’t- why would you even believe that?!” his eyes were soft, pleading for any excuse you could muster up. “i’m sorry, i was just scared.” he nodded, he finally drove you to your house.

once inside your house, you two were sitting on your bed in comfortable silence. you were sitting down playing on your phone, as his head was laid against your thighs. “you know i love you, right?” he asks. you nod, your hand massaging in his hair. “i know rafe. and you know i love you too.” he nodded, one hand gripping your thigh, as the other drew shapes against your skin.

“i’m really sorry they treated you that way. if i had any idea-.” you cut him off immediately. “rafe you couldn’t have known. it’s okay i promise. please, it’s okay.” he shakes his head. “it’s not okay. they are supposed to be my friends but now i come to find out they tried to actively run you away. it makes me fucking mad.” you nod. “well i’m still here. and i don’t plan on running away.” he nodded, sighing. “thank you.” you lean down and press a kiss on his hair. “of course.”

silence surrounded you again. “can i still beat the shit out of them?” he asks. you gasp. “rafe! no!! they aren’t worth it.” he slightly laughs. “fine. only because you said no.” he snuggles his face deeper into your thighs, playing with the fabric of your shorts. “i’m happy here.” you shake your head, setting your phone down. “only because you are between my thighs.” you feel him smile. “exactly.”

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron angsts #rafe cameron outerbanks #rafe cameron outerbanks fanfic #rafe cameron fluff #rafe #rafe cameron obx #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron obx fluff #rafe cameron x plus!reader #rafe cameron plus size reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron fluffy imagine

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kimvvantae · 3 years

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puzzle; 8 (FINAL)

➜ you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader

genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au

warnings: lots of swearing, alcohol consumption, unprotected sex

rating: 18+

word count: 16k

A/N: finally the last chapter! i am actually feeling very emotional right now. i enjoyed writing puzzle so much and it received so much love since the beginning! your feedback always kept me motivated to write. thank you so much to everyone that followed these two dorks and waited patiently for every update. i hope we can meet again in future works!

hmmm, a little rec?? but i listened to sweet night by taehyung as i wrote this chapter. maybe listening to it will enhance your experience too!

enjoy!

➜ Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!

« playlist »

You don’t know how long it has been until Taehyung finds you.

It’s cold. The tears have finally come to a halt, but you’re still sobbing and sniffling. You should probably get up and go home. It’s late. Not safe to be alone on the street like this. You should probably call an uber or something.

Yet, every time you think of Jungkook’s tears, it seems that your own eyes well up with tears all over again.

What makes you snap back into reality is the sound of shoes walking down the stairs.

You get up in a jump, feeling your legs ache in the process, and turn around to see the person you least expected to see right now. Taehyung stops some steps ahead. The light pole behind him marks his silhouette with a halo.

“I finally found you,” he says after a few seconds. He sounds hesitant but somehow relieved.

It makes your heart clench even more.

You make an immense effort to speak, as if words ran over inside your throat and made it stuck. Well, they did, in a sense.

“Taehyung, w-what…?” is all you can stutter. You don’t really need to finish the sentence. What are you doing here? Why did you come after me even though I hurt you?

He looks down and caresses the back of his neck. You notice that he’s nervously fiddling with his car keys on the other hand. Oh. He probably didn’t want to be around you, either.

“Well, you ran away down the street like that. I got worried.”

You shouldn’t.

“It’s… not safe to be by yourself on the street like this. I’m taking you home.”

Please, don’t be kind to me.

It will be much harder if you’re being kind to me.

“Taehyung, I…” you feel yourself squeezing your purse against you, just as nervous as he is. You don’t want to bother him with your presence anymore. “I was about to call an uber. You don’t need to…”

“It’s alright. I’m already here anyway.” He starts to walk up the stairs again without looking back. Without giving you a chance to disagree. “Let’s go.”

It seems that your legs forgot how to walk as you watch him. You don’t want to get inside his car. You don’t want to face him, not right now.

When Taehyung reaches the top of the stair alley, he finally looks back at you in silence.

That’s when you realize that you have to face him. You were never one to run away from the consequences of your actions.

The newest consequence is staring back at you in quiet sadness.

You inhale deeply before going after him.

An awful silence hovers in the air during the entire ride home.

You can’t help but shrink on the passenger’s seat, hugging your own arms tight, your head leaning on the window. Taehyung does not make any attempt to engage a conversation. His presence is suffocating.

Something cold sets in your stomach when he parks the car in front of your apartment’s building. There’s nothing out there to distract you anymore. Nowhere else to run to.

You inhale again.

“Thank you.” you say softly.

Taehyung doesn’t say anything as he rests his hands on his lap. You watch him intently as he gulps, his eyes glued in something ahead.

“So.” He starts, his voice as low as yours. This is painful. It was never your intention to put him in that situation, never. “I don’t want to take a drunk man seriously.”

It’s your turn to gulp. You really really don’t want to explain everything to him in detail. “Mike is a son of a bitch. He got it all wrong.”

“It seems that he got one thing right, though. Judging by Jungkook’s reaction.”

It’s getting difficult to breathe again.

Taehyung turns his head slowly to look at you.

“Are you guys…?”

You honestly feel like jumping out the window, but your feelings for Taehyung make you stay still. He’s a kind friend. He deserves to hear it clearly.

So you take a deep breath before speaking.

“Jungkook and I, we… we were never a real thing. Not really.” It hurts to say this out loud. It seems that you can still hear his broken voice…

There was never anything real happening, right? We were never real.

“B-But recently I realized that I have feelings for him.”

Taehyung nods slowly and sinks on the driver's seat. He rests his chin on his hand, letting a shaky deep breath out.

“Why did you call me today, then?”

“To tell you the truth.”

He gasps softly and shakes his head again. Taehyung has completely broken eye contact with you and his body language looks protective - building an almost visible wall between you and him in seconds.

“Wow. It seems that I was the one who got it all wrong.”

You feel like touching him to give him even a little bit of comfort, yet you know that you’re his main discomfort in the moment. You turn your body in his direction, pleading.

“Taehyung, it wasn’t meant to happen this way. I didn’t want to hurt you, not at all. I know that an apology won't be enough...”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” He cuts you. His voice sounds strange, so different from how he has ever talked to you. He’s very quiet, but you can feel the anger and hurt lying underneath. “We never had anything anyway. I was the delusional one here.”

No, not again. You don’t think you can take more guilt for one night. You didn’t just delude him going on that date; you deluded him every time you talked, every time you texted each other. Taehyung saw something more when there was nothing at all - he felt something more, and you were too confused with your own feelings for Jungkook to notice what you were doing.

“Taehyung…”

“I’m feeling very ashamed right now.” He admits with a shaky exhale. “Could you…?”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, but you know very well what he meant. Leave.

You nod and open the door into the cold night. You still stand there on the sidewalk hesitantly for a few seconds before whispering a shy “I’m sorry”. Taehyung doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even look your way.

When you shut the door, you know very well that from now on, your friendship with Taehyung is also shut.

You’ll miss him really bad.

It feels like you can barely carry the weight of your own body as you slowly make your way to your apartment - which is weird, because you feel empty right now.

Your apartment isn’t as empty as you expected when you open the door, though. Seulgi is standing on the kitchen counter and she smiles wide when she sees you. She looks excited in a way she hasn’t been in months; it seems that she’s about to say something.

Her smile dies as she sees your puffy face and your red nose and eyes.

“Y/N, what happened…?”

For some reason, when you look at her, you start crying again.

Seulgi wides her eyes and runs to where you’re standing, shocked and confused - probably because you have never cried in front of her yet. Never.

“Oh my God, Y/N! What happened?!”

You can’t answer because the sobs won’t let you. You can just rest your face on Seulgi’s shoulder as she hugs you, patting your back. She is so confused that she can’t really think of anything else to do.

After a few minutes of restless crying, Seulgi manages to lead you to sit on the couch and runs back to the kitchen to take a glass of water. She sits by your side and hands you the glass, caressing your hair sweetly.

“Can you talk now, babe? What happened?” She asks again quietly as you try to drink a little bit of water.

You wipe the tears away once again and sniff. This place reminds you of him way too much. It feels that he belongs here, even though it’s not his home. And maybe… maybe he won’t ever step inside, ever again.

“I-It’s J-Jungkook.” it’s hard to speak between the sobs.

“Did you guys fight?” You nod weakly. “Was it that bad?”

Yes. Yes, it was.

After months of pretending, you finally open up to Seulgi. There’s no reason to keep this from her anymore. After Mike’s scandal, that’s probably everything the whole campus will be talking about in the next few days (you saw a lot of familiar faces at the bar).

It seems that Seulgi’s eyes will pop out of her face as you speak.

She stares at you, jaw dropped in pure shock.

“You and Jungkook what?!” is the first thing she exclaims. “Since when?!”

You rest your back on the couch and gaze at the ceiling. The sobs have finally stopped, at least. “Do you remember when I broke up with Mike? When we went to that club?”

“Yes, and you spent the night out…” Seulgi trails off as realization hits her. She stares at you as if you’ve grown a second head. “That guy you were talking about was Jungkook?!”

You just nod.

Seulgi gasps and rests her back on the couch right by your side, your arms touching. She’s speechless for a while.

“But, like… how many times?”

“I don’t know.” She gasps again.

“That many times?”

You nod. “It was almost daily at some point.”

It seems that she can’t close her jaw anymore. “Where?”

“Here. His apartment. His car.” You frown. “Sometimes a cheap hotel downtown, when you and Jimin were both home.”

Seulgi stays quiet for a little longer.

You side eye her. “You didn’t suspect?”

She shakes her head slowly. “I thought you guys were acting strange for a while now, but I never thought this was going on.” She looks back at you. “Did someone know?”

“Jimin caught us once.” you decide to omit where he caught you. It’s embarrassing to say that you fucked inside Joy’s bathroom out loud and it makes you feel even worse. “But he promised to not tell anyone."

Back to silence. You can almost hear the engines inside Seulgi’s brain trying to process everything you just told her.

“But why did you guys fight?”

You take a deep breath before telling her the rest. Taehyung, Joy, Mike, Yeri. It’s quite painful to explain, but it’s also relieving.

If you thought Seulgi looked shocked before, now it looks like she just found out that Santa is real.

She completely turns her body in your direction, eyes super wide. “Do you like Jungkook?”

You nod softly, staring at your own fingers.

“It’s more than just liking him.” You admit sheepishly.

Then she’s quiet for a long, long time. You decide to finally look up at her.

Now you’re surprised.

“Why the hell are you smiling?”

Seulgi hides her mouth with both hands - as if this wouldn’t let you see the big ass grin on her lips. “I’m sorry. It’s… it’s cute.”

“Cute?” you quirk one eyebrow. “My suffering is cute to you?”

“That’s not what I mean.” she waves her hand dismissively. “I always kind of shipped you two, okay? It’s just that you two looked really good together and you always had such good chemistry and all. But I tried to stop thinking this because, you know, I thought it was wrong to assume that a man and a woman can’t be just friends… and it never looked like you had feelings for him, not at all.”

You stare at her as if she has a second head growing now. “You shipped us?”

“You can’t judge me.”

You cross your arms and sink on the couch even more. This is kind of shocking. “You never thought I liked him?”

Seulgi shakes her head. “Never. Jungkook, though…”

You turn your head to look at her so fast that your neck almost breaks. “What about him?”

She hesitates a little bit before speaking. “Well, sometimes… sometimes I caught him looking at you in some type of way.”

There it is again. The fast beating of your heart. It’s ridiculous that, even though you’re this miserable, you still feel this spark of happiness inside of you.

For fuck’s sake, Y/N! I’m in love with you!

You press your lips tight in an attempt to hold back the uninvited smile. It’s not appropriate to feel happy now; it feels that you don’t even have the right to feel happy at all. But his confession is hitting you just now. Hitting you like a truck.

God, if only you could go back in time. If only you could just make him shut the fuck up and listen to you. Why did he have to be so damn dramatic?

I love you too, dumbass! Now stop being a cry baby and kiss me!

What if Jungkook never gives you a chance to explain yourself? He can be hard-headed when he wants to. What if Jungkook never lets you get close to him again, what if your intimacy finally dies, what if you get so distant that when you’re in the same room you can’t bear each other’s presence anymore? What if from now on, there won’t be any Jungkook to steal your fries when you’re not looking, or to let you steal his clothes even though he pretends he doesn’t know you’re taking them, or to help you understand a difficult assignment, or to annoy you because he’s bored at 4AM, or to tell you the things no one else would be brave enough to tell you or to just be there when you needed someone the most?

Your brain can’t even comprehend what life without Jungkook is.

A mix of despair and hurry makes you get up in a jump.

“I’m going to his apartment.” Your breath is irregular, adrenaline taking control of your actions. “I-I need to talk to him now.”

“Hey, hey!” Seulgi gets up in a jump and puts her hands on your shoulders, forcing you to stop. “Y/N, you’re not okay. And you said Jungkook is drunk. Do you really think you’ll manage to have a civilized conversation right now? He’s probably still angry, maybe he won’t even listen to you.”

“I don’t care. I’ll shout on his door until he listens to me.”

Seulgi holds you in place again when you try to free yourself from her grip. “This is not a good idea and you know it.” She looks at you very seriously. “Take a shower, Y/N. Go to sleep. Tomorrow you’ll both be cold-headed and able to talk.”

“B-But,” you feel the tears coming back. Fuck. You hold Seulgi’s arms weakly. “But he needs to know the truth. He needs to know I like him back.”

The black-haired girl frowns. “Like him back…?”

You nod and look down. “He… he said that he’s in love with me.”

“Really?!” Seulgi huffs and taps your forehead lightly. “Then why are you so desperate?! He loves you back, dummy!”

“But I’m scared, Seulgi.” You sniff.

She rolls her eyes and pushes you into another hug. “Everything will be okay, Y/N. There’s no need to be worried. You already know the most important. Tomorrow you go talk to him, alright?” She chuckles softly. “Never thought I’d see you acting like this.”

You sniff again. “Now you understand how it is to deal with a stupid lovesick roommate.”

“Ouch.” You notice how she pats your back a bit aggressively. “But for real, Y/N… I’ll always be thankful for what you did today to me and Irene. Even though it was none of your business. And I’ll probably beat you up if you ever intervene in my life like that again-”

“Wow, I really see how you’re thankful, Seul.” She chuckles again.

"And I'm kind of offended that you hid this from me for so long."

"We promised we wouldn't tell anyone about this!"

"Alright, alright." She sighs. “I love you so much, you crackhead. And Jungkook loves you, too. You don’t need to be sad anymore, okay? Just take a shower and go to sleep now.”

You nod weakly.

Maybe she’s right. You’ll have enough time to talk to him tomorrow.

But you don’t think you’ll get any sleep right now.

***

[you]: jungkook

[you]: can we talk?

[you]: we really really need to talk

[you]: can i go to your place?

[you]: please

[you]: i know you’re reading

[you]: stop ignoring me

[you]: jungkook

[you]: JUNGKOOK

You sigh heavily. This is so frustrating. He didn’t even leave you on read - you’re sure he’s just reading the texts on the notifications and swiping them away. He didn’t block your number, which is a good sign, but this is already getting on your nerves. You’ve been texting since early in the morning (because you couldn’t sleep) and it’s already 5PM.

“He’s ignoring my texts.” You whine to Seulgi as you enter the living room.

“You said he had things to do today, right? Maybe he’s actually busy.” She says as she checks her makeup on the mirror. It’s been a long time since you saw her getting all pretty like this; she did her nails, made curls on her hair, put on that green skirt she bought months ago but never wore it. This is what being happy and in love looks like. Pretty, well-dressed, nice hair, healthy skin and all.

Meanwhile, your hair looks like a bird nest, you’re wearing the ugly Naruto t-shirt you have since middle school, your entire face is swollen and you have bags under your eyes. This is also what being in love looks like, unfortunately.

“Why don’t you just go to his apartment already?”

“You told me not to do it.”

“I told you not to do it yesterday. Today he’s not drunk anymore.”

You cross your arms. “I’m… I’m still kind of nervous.”

Seulgi turns around and looks at you and quirks her eyebrow. There’s the ghost of a smirk on her lips. “I never thought I’d see you nervous because of anyone. You look like a teenager…”

"I swear to God, if you say that you think I look cute one more time I'll fucking kill you."

Seulgi laughs and runs to you again, putting her hands on your shoulders. "Y/N, do you remember how you were always telling me that I was complicating simple things?"

"Yes."

She lifts her eyebrows. "So."

You roll your eyes and huff. "But it's not that easy!"

"Now you understand how I felt, huh?" Her eyes soften again. "For real, though. If you show up at his door he won't ignore you, I'm sure. Just go."

You sigh again and nod. "You're right. Just… let me build some courage, okay?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" She looks a bit worried. "I could go out with Irene another day."

"No, no. Go on your date." You wave your hands. "I'm not gonna die. Also, your pussy must be dusty after so long-"

She smacks your shoulder a bit too strongly as you let yourself laugh for the first time today.

When Seulgi leaves, you still stand in the middle of the living room for a good while. Like a Sim whose action has just been cancelled.

Whoever is playing you is really evil for putting all the wrong people in the wrong places past night.

You know that you’re not being rational. You should have gone to his house a long time ago… but something holds you back. Perhaps because now there’s no turning back. You know what you feel for Jungkook and you know what he feels for you - your relationship got completely out of its comfort zone, and now you can’t even pretend anymore. Things won’t ever be the same.

Maybe Jungkook is ignoring you because he’s embarrassed of what Mike did. He basically exposed you two in front of his friends. Sure, that’s none of no one’s business, but still… Jungkook didn’t want anyone to know about it in the first place.

You stare at your phone for a good while. Your reflection on the phone’s screen stares back at you in disgust.

For the hundredth time today, you unlock it and open Jungkook’s number. Your thumbs hover over the keyboard hesitantly.

[you]: jungkook i know youre mad at me and you have all the rights to be but

You frown and delete the text. It doesn’t sound good.

[you]: can you stop being dramatic and just text me back already?

You feel tempted to send this one, but if Jungkook’s angry, this will only make the situation worse. You sigh and try again one more time

[you]: i just really want to talk. you didnt let me speak last night. i know youre probably busy but please. i wont take much of your time

This one sounds about right. You tap the send button.

Then, your fingers mindlessly type one more text. It makes your heart beat fast just looking at it.

[you]: i love you too

You want to send this one so bad.

But you don’t.

Because this isn’t something to be told by text.

Coward! the angry voice of your consciousness yells in your mind. Stop being a coward! You’re an evolved human being, not a stupid teenager! Get this ass up the couch and go meet him!

You get up in a jump.

“I’m not a coward!” you say out loud. If you weren’t this out of your mind, you would have noticed how stupid it was to scream encouraging words by yourself in the living room.

But you don’t care right now.

You don’t care that your face is all puffy and the dark circles around your eyes make you look like a raccoon. You don’t care that you’re wearing your ulgy Naruto t-shirt with old ketchup stains, and you don’t care that you’re wearing the sweatpants that fall down your butt as you walk, and you don’t care that your hair looks like a living animal.

You just straight out leave your home and march to his. Flip flops and all.

Your heart beats at a stupid race as you walk, the sun already disappearing behind the buildings. The anxious part of your brain keeps reminding you that you don’t know what to say when you meet him and you don’t know what his reaction will be, but you shut this whiny voice up. Being with Jungkook always meant that you didn’t have to think a lot in the first place. Being with him is natural, it takes no effort. When you see him you’ll know what to say. You’re sure.

Yet, you can’t help but feel more and more nervous as you enter his apartment building (you never needed to ask permission to enter). You close your hands in fists, gulp multiple times, your heartbeat sounds like drums on your ears.

Your hand hovers over the door.

“Shit,” you whisper to yourself. It’s real. It’s happening. Come on. Don’t be a coward.

After taking one more deep breath, you finally knock on the door.

There’s noise inside. Steps. Fuck, you’re shaking.

You hear the sound of the door unlocking and you hold your breath ready to face him-

Jimin.

He widens his eyes and blinks.

“Oh. Hi, Jimin.” you say awkwardly. Why is he looking at you this way? “Hm, is Jungkook home?”

Jimin looks hesitant for a moment.

“No.”

It’s your turn to widen your eyes. So that’s why he isn't texting you back. This makes you a bit relieved.

“Is… is he working?” You can’t hide your disappointment.

“Not yet. He starts tomorrow.”

You put your hands on your waist and walk from side to side as Jimin just watches you in silence.

“Jimin, at what time he’ll be home tomorrow? Do you think it’ll be too late in the night? I really need to talk to him, but that fucker keeps ignoring my texts.”

You don’t like the face Jimin is making now.

You really don’t like it.

He scratches the back of his neck and frowns. “He… he didn’t tell you?”

This makes you stop.

“Tell me what?”

Jimin exhales and gulps.

“He told you that he’ll start working for Mr. Choi, right? That director.”

“Yes.” Each word of his makes you more and more worried.

“So… this project he’s involved in…” Jimin licks his lips before continuing. “It’s overseas.”

You stare at him in silence as this information sinks in.

“Overseas?! Are you telling me he fucking left the country?!”

“Yes.”

You can’t believe what you just heard.

“B-But- yesterday Jungkook and I were planning to go out! This makes no sense!”

“Well,” Jimin looks hesitant again. “In fact, his flight is tomorrow morning, but he left earlier because we kind of had an argument.” He sends you an apologetic gaze. “He was drunk yesterday and all and I was trying to calm him down and I might have accidentally let it slip that I knew about you two, and this kinda pissed him off even more because, well, he was drunk and you know how Jungkook gets stupid when he’s drunk, so I think he left to his parent’s house and he’ll head to the airport tomo- wait, are you crying?!”

You sniff and hide your face behind your hands.

“Oh my God,” Jimin sounds confused and borderline panicked as he watches you start sobbing again. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“B-Because h-he-!” you can’t fucking speak anymore.

Jimin puts a hand on your back and guides you to sit on the couch. He brings some tissues and pats your back awkwardly as you cry and sob like stupid.

“W-Why didn’t he tell me he was l-leaving?” you ask yourself.

Jimin sighs. “Y/N, it’s not like he’s leaving forever. It’s just for this project. He’ll be back by the end of the week.”

“B-But he would’ve told me something so important!” You blow your nose. Jimin frowns. “I didn’t know this project was so huge! What, is it a movie or something?”

“It’s a music video.” You stare at Jimin in disbelief. “Jungkook has been around the recording studio with Namjoon and Yoongi a lot. He ended up meeting Mr. Choi, who has been directing some music videos for Big Hit Records’ artists. He liked Jungkook’s work and invited him to work as an assistant… I mean, the assistant of the assistant, as Jungkook himself said.”

You exhale, feeling your shoulders drop. “Why didn’t he tell me this?”

Jimin’s eyes soften. “Your friendship hasn’t been in the best shape these days, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think it was this bad.”

You rest your elbows on your legs and hide your face behind your hands again. You didn’t want to be crying this bad again, yet you just can’t stop. You don’t even know why you’re crying anymore. Jimin just caresses your back in silence as your sobs start quieting down.

“You were right,” you say at some point.

“What?”

“When you told me not to hurt him. I was hurting him and I didn’t even realize. I’m so stupid.”

Jimin tilts his head. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Y/N. You were both stupid.” You side eye him.

“Jungkook said that he’s in love with me.” This makes him quirk his eyebrows.

“Oh.”

“You don’t look very surprised.”

“I’m not.”

“Did… did he tell you?”

“No.”

“Was it that obvious?”

Jimin presses his lips together hesitantly. “Do you want me to comfort you or do you want me to be honest?”

“Be honest.”

“It was pretty fucking obvious that he’s in love with you. At least for me.”

You exhale and swipe your hands over your face. “I’m so stupid!” you repeat.

“Look, Y/N, to be honest, I think Jungkook is the most stupid. He was torturing himself with this fuck buddies thing, you know? He agreed to it in the first place. Everyone knows that this type of thing shouldn’t involve feelings, but he was the one to throw himself into it while he already had feelings.”

“It’s not like he’s the only one, though.”

Jimin seems about to say something, but he stops and stares at you, jaw-dropped.

“Wait, what do you mean?”

You rest your back on the couch. “I mean that I was also stupid enough to throw myself into it while having feelings.”

He’s quiet for a few more seconds.

“Do you mean that you like him back?”

You don’t answer.

Much like Seulgi, it looks like Jimin just discovered something world-shocking. “Since when? Have you liked him since the beginning?”

You sigh sadly.

“No, I haven’t. To me, it was just fun. Until I realized that he was getting too far from my reach and- and I realized that Jungkook has never been too far, never, and I don’t know what to do when he’s not around.” You sniff. You’re not talking to Jimin anymore at this point; you’re talking to yourself. “Y-You know, now that I think about it, I… I guess I understand why it was always so good. Not just because he fucks good or because of his big dick-”

“I don’t need to hear this, do I?” Jimin whines in disgust.

“-but because it was him.” One more tear rolls down your cheek. “It was good because it was with him.”

The way you always felt comfortable to be naked in front of him. How it was always lighthearted and fun and exciting. You had good sex with other people before, but never like this. Maybe because these other people didn’t have Jungkook’s handsome smile or because their eyes didn’t gleam with excitement the way his does or because they didn't smell like baby powder. Or maybe because it was never scary to be exposed in front of him because he already knew everything about you - there wasn’t really anything else to expose.

Jungkook felt like home.

Now, you feel homeless.

You wipe the tears away once more and look at Jimin-

“Why are you smiling?”

Doesn’t this scene look familiar?

“I’m sorry, it’s just that- wow, I don’t even know what to say.” Jimin doesn’t even try to hide his smile. “I’ve been waiting so long for this. Like, I kind of suspected that you had feelings for him, but I couldn’t be sure because you’re a hard bitch to read. To be honest, when I saw what you two were doing I wanted to kill you because you couldn’t be this blind to not realize how he feels about you-”

“Can you stop being honest for a moment?”

“Oh.” Jimin gulps, but he can’t stop smiling. “I’m sorry.”

You sigh again and cross your arms. “What if he never lets me explain myself, Jimin?”

“Stop the drama.” Jimin’s voice hardens suddenly. “You two are very similar in this sense, you know? I’m sure that Jungkook will listen to whatever you have to say. And he’ll be away for just four days! It’s not like he’s leaving forever.”

You sit there in silence for some moments. You’re sure that if you tell that you’re scared to talk to Jungkook, he will probably beat you up. He never had that much patience.

Jimin exhales heavily and gets up. “Wait a minute.” You watch as he walks into Jungkook’s empty bedroom, frowning. He stays there for a little while. When he comes back to the living room, he stops in front of you and hands you something.

“Jungkook’s gonna kill me when he finds out, but I don’t care.”

“What is this-?”

“Just take it already. And watch it when you’re back home. It’s so personal that I got uncomfortable the first time I watched it.”

“Then why are you giving it to me-?”

“Just fucking take it, Y/N!”

You take the small device before Jimin makes you swallow it.

He smiles sweetly.

“Everything will be fine, okay? Don’t worry. I’m always right.”

You stare at the small black pen drive in between your fingers.

This time, you genuinely hope he’s right.

You had honestly forgotten how it feels to get drunk.

At the same time that the dizziness feels familiar, it's also hitting you like a truck. Your friends didn't believe you when you said that you'd stop drinking, yet you've been loyal to your word. Of course, it's not like you didn't drink anything in all those months, but a single beer isn't the same as a pack of beer.

The way your body's responding to the alcohol in your system isn't right. Your stomach is already tangling around itself, you can't walk a straight line from the couch to the kitchen counter without feeling that there's holes opening on the floor, and your thoughts are more incomprehensible than usual. You'd usually not get drunk so fast - and surely not with just beer. You're the girl that was still very sober after many tequila shots that time a random date of yours was trying to get you drunk - he ended up drunk after a few shots, of course, and you left the son of a bitch alone while he vomited on himself.

Being in love sure has changed you a lot.

Look, it's not the first time you drink to forget about your problems. You've been doing that since high school and you're tired of hearing Jungkook say how this behavior is unhealthy (he's right, as usual). This time, though, you're not forgetting about your problems, you're just thinking about them more.

It doesn't help that you're listening to Seulgi's playlist on Spotify called "i miss you irene." You laughed your ass off when you found out she really made a heartbreak playlist and named it like that. "You're torturing yourself, Seulgi," you told her. I mean, why would someone sad listen to songs that will only make them more sad?

Well.

Here you are now, laying on the carpet as Spending my Time by Roxette is blasting on the speakers.

People really knew how to write heartbreak songs back in the 90s.

"Fuck you, Jungkook." you mumble, staring at the ceiling. "I'm shoving alcohol up my ass. You can't tell me what to do."

Jungkook, that fucker. Why didn’t he listen to you? Why didn’t you shut him up? If there was a way to go back in time you’d do it. You wouldn’t have kissed Taehyung, you wouldn’t let him get the wrong impression. You wouldn’t have encouraged Jungkook to be with Joy. Fuck, if you could go back in time you would have woken up that first morning in Jungkook’s bed and said that it meant a lot to sleep with him, that you were willing to not be just friends anymore.

(Of course, back then you didn’t feel that way, but you’re drunk and sad. Give yourself a break.)

Now, you can’t tell him what you feel because he’s somewhere overseas. He probably bought new clothes for such an important occasion. You imagine him being in a real set for the first time, his eyes gleaming as he watches the staff working, him trying to hold his excited smile back because he’s supposed to look professional and-

You sniff. You have a stuffy nose. Fuck.

You're so drunk that you can't really control your actions anymore. If Seulgi were here, she would probably stop you. But she's not here. She's somewhere with Irene.

So you take your phone, tap the Instagram app and start typing.

[@you]: hell o 😅😂🤣😊

[@you]: its been a log time how u doing???

[@you]: what if we meeet????

And unfortunately, she replies.

[@yerimiese]: hi 🤗

[@yerimiese]: yeah, sure!

[@yerimiese]: when can we meet?

It’s the back pain that makes you wake up the next day because you slept on the floor. You’re dizzy and confused, your poor brain trying to understand what’s happening, why you’re on the floor, why there’s so many empty beer cans around you and why your phone is flashing with notifications from last night.

When your sight finally adjusts to the light your phone screen produces, your eyes widen and you stand up in a jump, making your back ache even more.

Did you seriously DM Yeri and she seriously agreed to meet you?!

It’s currently 11:40 AM - and you agreed to meet at noon.

You run to your bedroom so fast that it makes you dizzy and you end up hitting your hip against the doorframe and it feels like you fucking broke it. You just have time to wear the first clean clothes you see laying around, tie your hair up and run to take the first bus you see.

You could’ve just told Yeri that you weren’t going anymore, of course, even though she agreed to meet you and it would’ve been kind of rude. You know it’s going to be the most awkward moment ever to see her after so long, especially now that you have feelings for her ex. Gosh - you’re already feeling so much embarrassment that you feel like jumping out of the bus and running back home. Why the fuck do you always end up doing stupid things when you’re drunk?!

But again - it’s that same chaotic side of you that makes you stay inside the bus and meet her. This chaotic side takes a good portion of your personality, it just gets more outgoing when you’re drunk. The same chaotic side that made you start some friends with benefits bullshit with your best friend just because you liked the idea of not being caught and the same chaotic side that made you passive aggressively flirt with Taehyung when you didn’t really want anything with him-

How the fuck did your friends even stand you?!

You’re forced to stop the existential crisis when you see that you arrived at the park. You feel a shiver run down your spine.

Yeri is sitting on the bus stop.

She looks prettier than you remember; her hair is short and blonde now, which makes her look more mature. Yeri was always one to walk around well dressed, but right now it feels almost humiliating that she's all pretty when you literally look like a scarecrow.

She smiles awkwardly and gets up. You didn't even say anything yet and it already feels awkward.

"I’m so sorry, Yeri,” is the first thing you say as you approach each other. “Did I make you wait too long?”

“No! It’s alright. I also got a little bit late.” She says, smiling prettily. Pretty is a word that overall describes her very well. “So, how you’re doing?”

“I’m doing fine!” You’re doing anything but fine at the moment. “What about you?”

“I’m fine, too.”

Silence.

My good Lord.

You start to regret all of your life choices right here and right now. You don’t see this girl in almost a year, you’re not close anymore, you know nothing about her life. Why the fuck did you even come anyway?! The awkwardness is so big that you can almost touch it.

There’s also a small and annoying thought that grows as you watch her - a thought you try very hard to ignore, but you can’t - that this is the girl Jungkook used to fuck before he started fucking you, that he used to go down on her and that he used to be inside of her and that those pretty lips of her once were around his cock and for some reason you start getting really angry-

“Do you wanna have a drink?” Yeri suddenly says.

You blink. “Hm… it’s 12PM.”

“And?” She quirks an eyebrow.

She’s perceptive, this one. Nothing’s better to break the ice than alcohol.

You don’t even know what you’re doing here anyway, so who cares?

“Sure. I know a bar nearby.”

Yeri slams the empty glass on the counter and stares at you, shocked.

“Mike did what?!”

You nod and swallow one more shot. Your tastebuds are so used (even calloused) from this bitter taste that you don’t even scowl as the drink slides down your throat. “Yeah. It seems that he was cheating on me for a while with that bitch. I caught them inside the lab.”

Yeri stares ahead. She looks speechless. “I will be honest… I heard that he was cheating on you, but I never thought this happened.” She shakes her head slowly. “Why the fuck were they inside a lab anyways? Are they stupid?”

“The lab was deactivated. That part of the science building was being renovated.” You sigh. Reviving those memories is kind of painful right now, especially after what Mike did to you some nights ago. Honestly, he could die and you wouldn’t care. “I was looking for him. His friends told me he went in that direction… well, kinda weird that they snitched on him like that. Maybe they really didn’t know. Anyways, I still don’t know how they got the key to the lab.”

Yeri nods. “Wow… I am really, really shocked. You guys were a pretty couple.” She gesticulates with her hand. “One more shot, please.”

“Me too, please.” You say.

The bartender looks at you two with visible worry. There’s no one else in the bar - who the fuck drinks so much this early? Wait, why is this bar even opened this early? - so he’s obviously hearing your whole conversation. You wonder what’s his opinion on your fucked up love life.

“Are you sure, girls? Shouldn’t you slow down a little bit?” He asks hesitantly.

You wave your hand dismissively. “Nah, we’re good.” You’re still not dizzy, just a little talkative. Getting drunk yesterday seemed to awaken all of your high tolerance superpowers. Pretty Yeri also isn’t one to get drunk that easily.

“We’re strong girls.” She reassures. The bartender shrugs as he prepares two more shots. “You seemed to like him a lot.”

“I did.” You admit.

“And he seemed to like you, too. I never expected that. Well… to be honest, Jungkook sometimes told me that he didn’t like Mike and that he was sure that he wasn’t a good guy.”

The sudden mention of his name makes you freeze. You realize that Yeri freezes, too. It seems that she’s also surprised for bringing him up like this. Yeri looks down at the new shot the bartender just placed in front of you two.

“It seems that he was right. As usual.” She finishes in a much lower voice, drinking her shot in one go.

This single sentence makes you realize that “Jungkook” is still a delicate topic for her. Of course it’d be - you don’t know much about their break up, but you sure know it was anything but friendly. Jungkook got pretty fucked up for a few weeks after their break up - and the fact that he refuses to talk about it to this day is enough of an indication.

Shit.

“Anyways, it didn’t stop there.” You decide to go back to your suffering for now, so she can get distracted. “The day before yesterday I bumped into him. He was drunk and made a scandal. Called me a bitch in front of everyone.”

Yeri gasps and looks at you wide eyed. “What? Please, tell me someone punched the fuck out of him!”

“Yeah, my friend did before I could.” You’re not telling her which friend, of course. “It was satisfying. Still made me feel really bad, though.”

“You shouldn’t. You did nothing wrong, Y/N. He’s the son of a bitch here.” Yeri reassures.

You nod and drink. “But enough of talking about my depressing love life. What about you?”

Yeri sighs, holding the small cup with both hands. “I’m doing fine, I guess. Didn’t really get serious with anyone yet. I’m seeing a guy, though. I don’t think I like him yet, but he’s about right. Who knows?” She says, shrugging.

You nod slowly. We’re getting into dangerous waters now. “I’m glad we’re both moving on, I guess.”

Yeri goes quiet for a while.

“Yeah. I guess so.”

A deep silence settles after this. You stare at the empty cup blankly, feeling the tension building up.

"I… have to be honest." Yeri starts quietly. "It was surprising that you called me after so long." She taps her nails on the counter slowly. "And I have the feeling that you called me for a very specific reason."

You nod slowly. She's not stupid. "You're right."

Yeri hesitates for a second. "You didn't… Jungkook didn't ask you to come here to talk to me, right?"

You almost gasp. Jungkook doesn't even dream that you're with her right now. "No, no. He didn't. You know I'm kinda nosy, but I have my limits too."

Yeri quirks her eyebrows and nods. You really hope that this tiny thing you saw deep in her eyes wasn't disappointment. You really hope that deep down Yeri doesn't still like him.

"So… why did you call me, then?"

You sigh. She came all this way just to meet you, so you have to at least be honest right now.

"I was drunk yesterday when I texted you."

"Oh." Yeri widens her eyes. "I thought there was something wrong with you by the way you were texting."

You chuckle. "But… I did call you because of Jungkook, somehow." You say carefully, She stiffens. "I know it's kinda cruel to do this. If you want to simply leave or if you want to slap me, I won't judge you. But… we had a really ugly fight these days and I don't know what to do. I was hoping that maybe… maybe you could help me understand him."

Yeri goes very, very quiet after this.

"Did you guys fight because of me?" She asks after a while.

"No and yes." Yeri was one of the things that got you overthinking anyways. "I… I really need to know. Again, you don't need to tell me if you don't want to. But… why did you guys break up?"

Yeri turns her head slowly to look at you. There's something very serious and hardened on her eyes.

"He never told you." It wasn't a question. You shake your head. "Well, I figured he wouldn't." She looks back to the cup between her hands; you can see she's thinking hard. "Y/N, I always admired your friendship with him. What you have is something truly special. Maybe you won't want to know why. Maybe I don't want to tell you because I don't want to destroy your friendship."

"My relationship with Jungkook won't ever go back to what it used to be anyways. I don't care."

Yeri looks surprised. She still hesitates for some moments - what makes your blood boil in expectation - but finally sighs and nods.

"Alright, then." She crosses her arms. "I broke up with him because of you."

You stare at her, jaw dropped.

"What? What did I do?" You ask, genuinely confused.

"You did nothing." She chuckles drily. "That's why I couldn't hate you, you know. And I tried to hate you really hard."

You don't know what to say. Some girls Jungkook had some sort of relationship with were very jealous of you, you knew, but Yeri was different. "Were you… were you jealous of me and him? But Yeri- you know we weren't like that."

This is not a lie. You weren't like that while they still dated. You were too stupidly in love with Mike to notice the person that was standing right by your side all along.

"I know." She nods. "I know you didn't. But Jungkook did."

You freeze.

"What?"

Yeri finally looks at you again - clear sadness on her eyes.

"Jungkook loves you. Not in a way a friend does."

You’re absolutely speechless.

Your heart is beating so fast that you think you’re about to faint. Your brain malfunctions and it seems that you lost the ability to speak for a few moments. This shouldn’t shock you - Jungkook confessed his feelings himself not long ago, and Jimin also said how he knew about Jungkook’s feelings - goddamn, even Seulgi noticed it a little bit. But back then? When he was still dating Yeri?

“B-But Yeri-” you hate the way you’re stuttering and you hate how Yeri is telling you something she obviously doesn’t like, but you still feel so fucking happy and fuzzy inside. “Jungkook was in love with you. I’m sure.”

“I thought so, too. And he thought he was in love with me.” Yeri stares ahead again, and in this moment you realize that yes, it still hurts her. “You know… Jungkook was too much like a dream.” She chuckles to herself, as if she can’t believe in what she’s saying. “He was perfect in every sense. His good looks, the way he was always so sweet… God, even the way he’s in bed.” Yes, he’s unbeatable in bed, you want to agree. “Too perfect to be true.”

Yeri goes quiet again for a while. She stares at the cup as if it’s showing her something important she can’t look away from.

“I started to realize why it was so perfect.” Her voice sounds painfully fragile. “He was trying too hard. Always trying his best. At first I thought that it was a good thing… We all want someone that’s always trying their best for you, right? But then… then, I started to watch how he acted when he was around you. Y-You know what’s worst in all this? It’s not like you two gave me actual reason to be jealous. You were never touchy around each other. You were even dating back then, and you two avoided going out together because Mike and Jungkook never got along well. I know it.” She sounds like she wants to cry. It makes you feel really, really bad.

“But… fuck, it was the way Jungkook acted with you, the way he talked to you, the way he looked at you, that smile he just showed when you were around. With you, he wasn’t trying anything. He didn’t need to try. I saw how he was so comfortable around you and… well, I didn’t need to be a genius to understand that he was so stupidly in love with you that it got him blind.” Yeri inhales and exhales deeply. “Jungkook was too much like a dream. But everyone has to wake up sometime, and I didn’t want to be there when he woke up from his. So I left him before I could get any more hurt.”

You can just stare at her, jaw dropped, adrenaline making your breathing shaky.

“Yeri, I never… I didn’t…” you stupidly stutter.

“I know you didn’t.” She nods. “I even pitied Jungkook, you know. Because he didn’t want to see what he really felt, and because you obviously didn’t feel the same.” Yeri chuckles. “That’s why I can’t hate you. That’s also what gave me some sense of revenge. At least he’s suffering a little bit.”

You’re both very, very quiet for some time.

“I’m sorry.” You say quietly. She doesn’t know you’re apologizing for putting her under the torture of telling those memories that are still painful for her. You weren’t expecting that Yeri still felt so affected by her past relationship even after so long.

“You don’t need to apologize.” She shakes her head slowly. “It wasn’t meant to be. That’s all. We would both keep suffering like that.” Yeri exhales again and looks at you. “Well… I guess I’m going now. I really hope I didn’t completely kill your relationship with him.”

She didn’t.

She quite helped to save it, actually.

Yeri takes some money from her purse and puts it over the counter, paying for her drinks. As she gets up from the stool, you say:

��Thank you for telling me, Yeri. I really wish you all the happiness you deserve.”

The blonde girl opens a small smile. You see why Jungkook fell - well, at least thought he fell - for her. Maybe Yeri doesn’t know it, but she also looks like a dream. You just hope she’ll find someone that will wake her up to see the most beautiful, warm and lovely reality.

“Thanks. See you around.”

She leaves.

You just sit there, all alone, staring at the counter.

Well- not exactly alone.

The bartender is furiously side-eyeing you.

“What?” You ask drily.

He presses his lips together. “I don’t think I should say anything…”

You tilt your head. “Go ahead. You heard everything anyway.”

The bartender stops in front of you. There’s something wise about him. That’s probably the result of hearing hundreds and hundreds of love stories every night - day, in your case.

“That dude you guys were talking about,” he says. “Your friend. You like him, right?”

You stare at him seriously. “Why would you think that?”

“Because your eyes lit up so much as she talked that I thought you were going to explode.”

Fuck. You can’t even pretend anymore. You avoid his gaze, embarrassed, and nod. “I do.”

He lifts his eyebrows. “Then, and excuse my intrusive ass, what the fuck are you waiting for?” He almost looks annoyed, as if he’s having to explain something painfully obvious. “Go after him, woman!”

You stare at him.

He’s right.

What the fuck are you waiting for?

Oh, right. You’re waiting until he comes back, because he’s fucking overseas.

It makes you so, so angry. After everything you just heard, after everything you’re feeling right now, you wanted nothing more but to run to him and make him listen to you. You want to see him, to hug him, to make him understand that he’s your most important person in the world, that you can’t see yourself in a world where he isn’t around.

But guess what - you’ll have to wait three days to meet him.

You look so grumpy on your way back home that people deliberately avoid looking at you. Seulgi and Irene are there when you arrive; Seulgi looks worried, Irene looks confused, you just decide to say you’re alright and lock yourself inside your bedroom because you can’t physically look at a happy couple right now.

You throw yourself on the bed and scream against a pillow.

If someone told you you’d be feeling so many things when all of this started, you wouldn’t have believed. You were always someone to continuously keep the fuck it button pressed - or at least, you pretended you did. Like that, you could trick your heart into believing you weren’t hurt by some jerk who cheated on you, that you didn’t feel like a piece of shit for drowning your problems in alcohol, that you didn’t care that most of your “friends” just cared about you when it came to parties and having fun, that there was never really anyone that truly took you seriously in a relationship.

It’s really easy to pretend those things aren’t real. But it’s just like Yeri said - one moment, everyone has to wake up. To you, waking up means facing the consequences of your actions, to face your feelings.

And it really hurts right now.

It also reminds you that the person you’d usually let your guard down for was Jungkook. You were never embarrassed to be weak in front of him - and it was the other way round. You were always in tune. Always in synergy.

This makes you remember the little black pen drive laying on the nightstand.

You sit in a jump, taking your laptop and the pen drive. Just feeling the device between your fingers makes you feel nervous… that’s why you still didn’t check what’s inside of it yet. Jimin said it was something personal. You’ve been hesitating to see whatever it is.

It can’t be bad, can it?

You plug the pen drive in your laptop.

The files tab pops up. There’s actually only one file inside the pen drive - a video. It’s called euphoria final test i swear to god.

You chuckle. This is so Jungkook.

Your finger still hovers over the touchpad hesitantly. It looks like one of Jungkook’s test videos - you’ve seen plenty of those. Nothing new. Nothing to be scared of. You double click.

The video opens up and fills up the screen.

It’s a vertical video recorded on selfie mode. Jungkook is walking down the university hall; he has a playful smile on his lips. The video shows you walking by his side, a grumpy expression on your face.

You remember this. He actually posted this on his Instagram stories around one year ago. His hair was way shorter back then. Why does he still have something so silly?

“Y/N’s team lost the championship.” Jungkook says. Of course he looks happy. He roots for the rival team. “How are you feeling right now?”

“Fuck you.” Is all you say.

Jungkook laughs loudly.

Another video.

A song kicks in.

It starts with the sweet melody of a piano. You frown, not recognizing this song at all.

Then the voice of the singer kicks in, and you feel your whole body freezing.

It’s Jungkook’s voice.

He sounds soft and angelic as you’ve always known - only this time, through professional mics and mixing. This itself is already shocking. You always felt blessed for being one of the few people to know of Jungkook’s singing ability, but this is different. He sounds like a professional singer, someone that makes a living out of it.

You remember Namjoon’s voice.

Hah, Jungkook didn’t tell you yet? He has been working with us! We’re doing a good job. He lent his voice to record some demos.

You then remember what Jungkook told you.

I… I kind of helped them write a song. I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.

Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.

Is… is this the song he was talking about?

Jungkook’s sweet voice sings:

You are the sunlight that rose again in my life

A reincarnation of my childhood dreams

I don’t know what these emotions are

Am I still dreaming?

Your breathing is irregular. Your fingers are shaking slightly.

Because as if his voice wasn’t enough to singlehandedly make you feel completely lost, the video is still passing on.

Videos of you.

You sitting on the university’s library, reading a book. You crying that time you ate tacos that were way too spicy, Jungkook’s laughter from behind his phone ringing softly over the song. You playing Just Dance with Seulgi, ridiculously trying to follow the doll’s moves on the TV. You running after Jungkook down the hall as he laughs because he stole your last cookie. You dancing around your kitchen as you prepare breakfast. You and him singing to Staying Alive that night at Burger King, both of you visibly drunk. Your shocked reaction as you watched a plot twist unfold on the TV - an anime he insisted so much for you to watch that you ended up watching.

I hear the ocean from far away

Across the dream, past the woods

I'm following this clarity

Take my hands now

You are the cause of my euphoria

You remember some of those videos. He posted some of them on his Instagram or Snapchat. Some of them you sent him yourself. Some of them, though, you had no idea that existed. Videos of you doing… nothing. Scrolling down your phone. Reading a book. Watching TV. Some of them look more professional - those are from the times you accepted to be his “model” so he could test his techniques, yet he never let you see any of those videos.

Just you.

You, you, you and you.

Were you wandering around

Looking for an erased dream too?

It’s different from what destiny suggests

We share the same painful views

Won't you please stay in my dreams

Yes, both of you had erased dreams. Your erased dream was Mike. His erased dream was Yeri.

Jungkook thought that you would never be more than friends. What he felt, though, was different from what he thought destiny suggested.

The way you drifted apart from each other. The pain you went through, watching your friendship slowly die. You shared the same painful views.

You don’t know at what moment you start to cry, but now, tears are freely dripping down your cheeks.

Even if the earth crumbles

No matter who shakes this world

Don't let go of my hand

Please don’t wake me up from this dream

You remember that time you were looking at the pictures Jungkook took at a wedding, and you noticed how the groom looked at his future wife with overflowing love. You wondered to yourself if someone has ever looked - or ever would - look at you the same way.

Well, sometimes… sometimes I caught him looking at you in some type of way.

It was the way Jungkook acted with you, the way he talked to you, the way he looked at you, that smile he just showed when you were around.

You’re not seeing him in this video.

Yet, it shows how Jungkook sees you. And you can’t help but think… in his eyes, you look beautiful.

He sings beautifully. Passionately.

Take my hands now

You are the cause of my euphoria

Euphoria

Close the door now

When I’m with you I’m in utopia

As the song slowly ends, the screen shows a last shot from a very old video you didn’t even remember. It’s from your graduation day from high school… actually, a video your mother recorded. The difference is clear from how shaky the camera is. You can’t help but think you look too goofy in your old school uniform.

“Y/N, it’s your graduation day! Next year you’ll live by yourself in a big city!”

“Thanks God. Less bills to pay for,” you hear your father jokingly say somewhere out of sight. You roll your eyes, but still laugh.

“Thank you so much, Dad. I see how much you love me.”

“But I love you, sweetie!”

“Shut up, darling. I’m trying to do an interview.” Your mother shushes him. “So, how do you feel, Y/N?”

You look thoughtful for a moment. That stupid teenager on the screen looks so full of hopes and courage. So young, so naive. “I’m a little bit scared, but I’m excited.” You say.

Then you smile, as if remembering something very important.

“Besides, Jungkook will live next to me, so I’ll be alright.”

The video ends.

You just sit there, sobbing uncontrollably for the next few minutes.

When you clicked that file, you never expected this.

You never expected to feel so loved with just a video.

At the same time, it makes an urge - the strongest urge you’ve ever felt in your life - flow through you. You need to tell Jungkook how wrong those lyrics are.

He doesn’t have to keep dreaming anymore. You’ve woken up from your own dream - and you’re ready to show him the real world in which you love him back, unconditionally.

Irene and Seulgi look worried as they see you marching out of your bedroom, sniffling, tears streaming down your cheeks. Before Irene can say anything, you put both hands on her shoulders and look at her seriously.

“Remember when you said you owed me one? That you’d help me with whatever I needed?”

Irene starts to look scared. “Yes.”

“Were you serious?”

“Of course!”

“Good. Then I need you to buy a flight ticket for me. Today.”

“Are you sure that’s the right hotel, Jimin?” you ask out of breath, your phone almost falling as you balance it between your ear and your shoulder, your hands busy holding your passport and flight ticket. You, Irene and Seulgi run inside the airport, looking like three crazy women in a dangerous mission - which isn’t too far from reality.

“I’m sure, Y/N!” Jimin says through the phone, starting to sound a little bit annoyed. “God, you asked me this a hundred times!”

“But I need to be sure! Can’t you ask him once again?”

“He will start to get suspicious. I already had to make up one hell of an excuse to make him tell me which room he’s in without sounding creepy.”

“Room 23, right?”

“Room 32!”

“So, is he sure that’s the right hotel?” Irene asks.

“Yes.”

She clicks something on her phone. “Good. It’s not too far from the airport. You’re lucky there was a room available!”

“Are you sure about this, Y/N?” Seulgi asks, looking borderline panicked. “You’re not going to die if you wait a few days until he comes back.”

“Yes, I am going to die if I wait any longer.”

“So dramatic.” Jimin says over the phone. You can even see him rolling his eyes.

“Shut up!”

“Why are you telling me to shut up?!” Seulgi asks, offended.

“No! I was talking to Jimin!” You finally hold the phone with your hand. “Okay, Jimin. I’m hanging up. Thank you so much for your help.”

“Don’t fucking die out there.” Jimin says, but you can hear the smile on his voice. “Good luck!”

You shove the phone inside your back pocket and turn around to look at them.

“Y/N, I don’t trust you alone in a foreign country.” Seulgi says. She does look panicked.

“I don’t trust myself either, but it’s alright.” You reassure her - but she only looks more nervous. You didn’t even bring a suitcase, choosing to just take a backpack with a few clothes and extremely necessary items.

Irene takes something from her wallet and hands it to you. “Here’s my credit card. I will text you the password later.”

You widen your eyes. “Irene, that’s not necessary…”

She shrugs in a dismissing demeanour. “Of course it is. How will you survive out there without money?” This kinda reminds you that this is only one of her credit cards and that whatever money you spend won’t really mean much to her. Still, you take the card hesitantly, making a mental promise to not spend more than the utmost necessary. “Your room is booked. You can ask a taxi to take you directly to the hotel. There’s no way to get lost.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that…” Seulgi says under her breath.

“Seulgi, I will fucking beat you up.”

“Sorry! I’m nervous!” She admits.

Your gaze softens. “I promise I won’t die, okay?”

She steps closer and hugs you tightly. “Be safe. Huh, you’re so stupid, but this is so romantic! It feels like I’m watching a Netflix romcom movie in real life!”

“Why do you always have to bring Netflix up?” Irene wonders under her breath. Seulgi sends her a menacing glare as she steps back again. “Anyways, if you need anything, please call us. Call us as soon as you get out of the plane. Keep us informed.”

“Okay.” You jump over to hug Irene; she gets visibly surprised, not really the type of person to appreciate a lot of physical contact. “Thank you so much, Irene! You’re saving my life!”

“The same way you saved mine.” She giggles. “Now go, unless you want to lose your flight!”

You wave them goodbye one last time before walking to the check-in area.

Yeah. You know that this is very, very stupid to do. You could wait three days. But when your impulsive, chaotic side takes control, you can’t really hold it back. That’s why you get inside the plane even though you’re really fucking scared of flights, going to a country you know absolutely nothing about.

But it’s alright. You’ll be with Jungkook, so it’s alright. Even if he rejects you - it’s alright.

Your chaotic side says that you’ll annoy him until he at least listens to you - and this time, you don’t think your chaotic side is all that wrong.

You get lost.

Which is dumb, because there were lots of information boards around the airport. Maybe that’s why you got lost - too much information, your peanut-sized brain couldn’t process all of that. After walking around the gigantic place for a good thirty minutes, only stopping to buy something very important on a vending machine, you find the exit and the taxi area. The taxi driver sees how desperate you are and it looks like he pities you.

Irene was right; the hotel is only twenty minutes away from the airport. It’s not a super hotel, but it looks like it’s much more expensive than you’d be able to pay (you couldn’t even pay for the flight tickets anyway).

You get more and more and more and more nervous at each passing minute. You feel like you’re about to fucking explode as the receptionist types something you can’t see. When he gives you the key card for your room, you feel goosebumps run down your spine.

It’s now.

Getting inside the elevator, you press the button to Jungkook’s floor. You don’t even want to drop your things in your own room before meeting him. You’re so nervous that, if you wait a little bit more, you’re sure that you’ll pass out.

Every step of yours on the corridor’s carpeted floor echoes in your ears. Your heart beats furiously. Your hands are trembling slightly and you feel cold in your stomach.

Room 23.

You stand in front of it, frozen.

Oh my God.

As expected, you don’t know what you’ll say when you see him. You tried to plan a speech the entire flight as a way to forget you were thousands of feet away from the ground and how fucking scared it made you, but you couldn’t think of anything.

You inhale and exhale deeply. It’s alright. It’s Jungkook who you’re talking about. You’ve always known how to act around him. Right now it’s no different.

Finally, you knock on the door.

“J-Jungkook?” You call, your voice failing slightly.

No response.

Weird. Jimin made sure that Jungkook wouldn’t be working anymore at this hour.

“Jungkook, it’s me. Can we… can we talk, please?” You say a little bit louder, knocking on the door once more. You can't hear any noise coming from inside the room. Come on, Jungkook. You have to open the door before any security guard can drag me away from here.

Your breathing is difficult. Your hands are trembling slightly. It feels that the floor is opening holes under your feet.

"Jungkook, I know you're mad at me. But please… please, let me at least explain myself." It's stupid how you already feel your eyes welling up with tears. Since when you became such a cry baby? Your chest tightens, hurts. "Y-You can't just leave me outside your room like this. Stop being a jerk. I need to tell you… I-I need to tell you that I lo-"

"Y/N?"

You freeze.

You turn around, looking at the exact opposite room in the hallway.

It's him.

Jungkook still holds the doorknob, indicating that he just opened it. He's barefoot, wears shorts and a long sleeved shirt, all black. His damp hair falling slightly over his eyes indicates that he probably just took a shower.

His eyes are so widened that it looks like they're about to pop out of his face.

He sincerely looks at you like you're the weirdest thing he has ever seen in his life.

"W-What-" he stutters, looking like he can't form a coherent sentence. "What the fuck?!"

You're still frozen in place.

You turn around again, looking at the door you were knocking on.

Room 23.

You look back at Jungkook again - the sign on his door.

Room 32.

"Oh." Is all you can say.

Shame suddenly makes your shoulders weight. You really, really hope there's no one inside Room 23.

You both stand there, staring at each other with widened eyes like two scared chipmunks. Your neck and face feels very, very hot.

Jungkook looks like he's recovering from the shock. He didn't hear anything you said, apparently.

"W-What exactly are you doing here?" Jungkook asks, tilting his head to the side. He frowns, looking at you like you're an exotic species.

"Oh." You repeat. Your brain is malfunctioning. You step closer, simply showing him the plastic bag you're holding. "I-I brought you this."

His eyes go from you to the plastic bag and to you again.

"It's banana milk." You explain hurriedly. He widens his eyes slightly. "I mean- it's this country's equivalent of banana milk, I guess. It's the closest thing I could buy in the vending machine."

Jungkook raises his hand slowly and takes it. He's moving carefully, as if this exotic species can jump on him and bite him at any moment.

"Did you take a 5 hour flight just to buy me banana milk?"

"Yes." You agree mindlessly. You feel your entire body burning now. "A-And I also came here to talk, because your dramatic ass didn't let me speak the other day."

Jungkook quirks one eyebrow and crosses his arms slowly. "Alright. I'm listening to you now."

He stares at you very seriously.

His gaze is overwhelming. It almost feels that you're getting small under his eyes. Gosh - you've been wanting to see him for days, but right now, when he's right in front of you, you can't say a damn thing, your brain completely overheating, your braincells melting. You thought you'd know how to act when you met him - but ha, guess what? You don't.

And that motherfucker is just standing there, waiting for you to speak. Just staring at you.

You hold the doorknob in a swift moment and close the door on his face, just letting enough of it open so he can still hear you.

"What-?" He gasps from inside the room.

"Shut up, okay?! I just can't speak looking at you right now." You hold the doorknob so tightly that your knuckles get white. You hate the way your voice is trembling and you hate the way your sight can't really focus on anything around you - that's just how nervous you are.

Jungkook doesn't say anything. You feel him leaning on the other side of the door, waiting patiently.

You inhale and exhale heavily.

"You got so fucking angry at me when I said you were my best friend that night.” You start, not really knowing where you’re going with this. You don’t even know if it’s possible to convey everything you feel through words only. “But you know, it’s- it’s true. You are my best friend. But what you didn’t let me explain is that you’re not just my best friend.”

Your heartbeat thunders on your ears at each word. You can’t see Jungkook’s expression, and at the same time it helps you keep talking, it also makes you more anxious.

“Y-You’ve been with me through everything. You were there with me when I broke my arm when we were kids, and you were there to help me when I thought I wouldn’t get into college, and you were there with me to celebrate when I got into college. It’s even embarrassing that you’ve seen all of my lowest moments.” You rest your head on the door, staring at the carpet under your feet. The first tears roll down your cheeks. “You know everything about me and sometimes I hate it. You’re like… fuck, I hate how cheesy this sounds, but you’re like a part of me. A-And you’re the best part, because- I don’t know how to explain, but you’re always the one making my average self want to be more.”

Normal you would never say something like this. You’re far from being an emotional person and you’re shit with words. But right now you’re crying and sniffling and trembling and you can’t shut your mouth anymore.

“Please, you have to believe me. I would never purposefully hurt you. Whenever I see you sad I die a little bit inside, and to know that I was the cause of your sadness is fucking killing me. It’s killing me.” You sob. “I don’t want to be the cause of your sadness ever again. I-I want to return all the good things you’ve done to me. So, please… I know I’m a pain in the ass to deal with, b-but if you’d let me be by your side… if you’d just bear me a little bit longer until I become someone that you’d want to be with-”

Jungkook opens the door.

You hear him whispering under his breath wait, wait, wait, interrupting you. Gently, he puts his hands on your arms and pulls you inside the room, closing the door right after, so now your back is against the door - right in front of him.

He stares at you, lips parted, eyebrows slightly knitted together. He looks stunned. Very, very confused. And very hopeful.

His starry eyes are welling up with tears.

“What… what do you mean with all this?” Jungkook asks softly. He almost sounds scared. “What do you really mean?”

You stare at him in silence. His beautiful face. His beautiful self.

You’ve never been so sure about anything in your life.

“I love you.” you confess, your voice cracking slightly. “I-I fucking love you. I’m sorry that I took so long to realize.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen.

The next thing you know is that his lips are against yours.

He drops the plastic bag full of banana milk on the floor, holding the back of your neck with one hand and pressing your body against his with the other. He tastes like toothpaste and tears; you can barely breathe, adrenaline rushing through your bloodstream, your fingers grabbing the strands of his damp hair.

When he finally lets go of your lips, you’re both out of breath and trembling.

Then, he smiles - and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

He wipes the tears away from your cheeks as his own cheeks are wet with tears. His eyes are smiling too, and you think that you want to keep that smile forever.

“Y-You have… you have no idea of how long- how long I dreamed of hearing this,” Jungkook says quietly, his voice cracking a little bit. He giggles, frowning his eyebrows slightly as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing right in front of him. “I can’t believe you took a fucking plane to bring me banana milk! How can I stay mad at you when you do this type of thing?!”

You start giggling too. His warmth, his scent of baby powder, the way his eyes are shining as much as diamonds - this is something you didn’t know you needed, you didn’t know you’d ever have.

“God- I fucking love you, too.”

Your heart feels filled.

You smash your lips on his again.

It’s desperate and intense and makes your senses completely dizzy.

You feel the backpack dropping from your shoulders right before Jungkook lifts you up as if you weigh nothing and you circle your legs around his waist. Without breaking the kiss, he carries you to where the bed is, sitting down with you on his lap.

Adrenaline and excitement washes over your body in anticipation. It’s even familiar at this point - his gaze clouded with want, your heavy breathings, hands grabbing and caressing everywhere they can find. Jungkook moans quietly against your lips as you grip his hair tightly, humping your clothed core very slowly against his growing erection.

“I missed you so fucking much,” he whispers in that deep voice that makes goosebumps run down your skin, his lips against your neck as he kisses and sucks it. You giggle.

“We fucked just a few days ago,” you point out.

“I miss this everyday. All the time.”

You hold his face, forcing him to look at you.

You might be shit at words, you might not know how to express yourself that well. But one thing you know better than anyone else is how to make him feel good.

So, softly, you push him back until you’re hovering above him and he’s propped up by his elbows.

You don’t say anything. You just smile and start to take his shirt off.

He doesn’t complain.

Your hands roam his exposed skin as you kiss and suck his neck gently. While your lips are still glued on his neck, one of your hands travels to caress his clothed member. Quiet moans come from the back of his throat. Slowly, you kiss your way down his chest and stomach - until you’re kneeled in front of his opened legs.

Jungkook is breathing heavily in anticipation. Maybe it’s the sole sight of you biting your bottom lip as you manage to get his member free from his boxers and shorts that makes it throb. He has to gulp when he sees you spitting on his dick, the feeling of your spit trickling down his member making goosebumps roam his skin.

You hold his member and start to bump it slowly at first - which makes waves of pure pleasure wash over Jungkook, stunning his senses. He hisses when your lips envelop the head of his cock, sucking it. His eyes are half lidded, lips slightly parted, Adam’s apple bobbing as he gulps. He looks so beautiful as he’s being pleasured.

You start taking more of him inside your mouth until you feel him on your throat; Jungkook moans louder. You bob your head up and down his length, taking turns between sucking and bumping his member with your hand, your spit making it easier and producing obscene sounds. Jungkook hisses and groans and moans and then he’s grabbing your hair, making you take more of him inside your mouth. You don’t complain. You just want to make him feel the best he has ever felt.

This time, though, it’s being much quieter than what it usually is. Jungkook just swears a little under his breath. No dirty talking.

His face and neck are covered with blush, a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead, his face distorted with pure pleasure. His moans are getting more constant and louder. You wouldn’t mind if he cummed in your mouth right now, but Jungkook hisses and takes his hand off your hair.

“Oh my God- stop. Stop. Come here, babe.”

You decide to just do as he said. As soon as you prop your knees on each side of him, Jungkook sits up again and starts to get rid of your clothing hurriedly - first your pants, then your coat and shirt. When he unclasps your bra, he immediately takes one of your breasts on his mouth, making you moan quietly. His hand pushes your panties to the side to meet your already wet core; you moan louder as he gently caresses it. You unconsciously start moving your hips against his hand, his movements adding more pressure over your clit, his lips still licking and sucking your breasts.

Jungkook decides this was enough to get you wetter. He pushes your panties to the side, holds both sides of your hips as you guide his member to your entrance.

Both of you moan as he enters.

You close your eyes tightly, the feeling of being stretched by him so familiar and so delicious. Steadying yourself on his shoulders, you start to guide yourself up and down on him, never breaking eye contact, watching him carefully. Every deep moan coming from him makes you shiver. The pleasure, the sound of skin hitting skin - how many times have you done it before? You don’t even remember. Yet, right now, it somehow feels fresh and new.

Maybe it’s because there’s more in Jungkook’s eyes than just lust. Maybe it’s because you notice how he watches you with adoration. And maybe it’s because you watch him with the same intensity, the same feeling.

Jungkook grabs the skin of your hips tightly as you increase your pace. He loves your face contorted in pleasure, he loves the sight of your boobs jumping at each move, he loves to feel the soft skin of your ass on his hand. He loves it. Both of you are really sweating now. You kiss him deeply, never decreasing your pace, your tongues entangling around each other, grabbing the strands of his hair.

God, how much he loves it.

He loves it much more now, because he sees how this time, he’s not the only one feeling something beyond physical pleasure. He knows you too damn well. It’s just like that morning at your house. You’re feeling it, too.

You love him, too.

Thinking about it makes him smile. You think it’s simultaneously the hottest and the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen.

Jungkook simply circles his arms around your waist and completely switches positions, throwing you on your back on the bed, which makes you giggle. He finally gets rid of your panties and hovers over you, thrusting inside of you once again.

His pace is fast and steady from the beginning. Your moans get higher and higher, louder and louder. You love how his face is so close to yours, how strongly he’s hitting you, how he tightly intertwines his fingers with yours (Jungkook really is the type to intertwine his hands when having sex!)

It’s ridiculous how you feel your eyes welling up with tears in a moment like this.

This moment… It’s not just bodies connecting - it’s souls.

You used to think you and Jungkook didn’t match; you were opposites in many ways. Jungkook is an introvert, you are an extrovert. Jungkook prefers quiet places, you prefer parties. Jungkook works out, you’re too lazy to do so. Jungkook hates coffee. You can’t live without it.

But, it’s in this moment - when he’s inside of you, when all of your senses are stunned by pure pleasure, when everything you can smell is him and everything you can hear is the sounds of bodies against bodies and when everything you can see is his beautiful starry eyes looking right back at you - is when you realize how wrong you were all along.

You’re like two jigsaw puzzle pieces. They need to be different to match. They are different, but when you put them two together, they complete each other.

You’ve always matched.

Seulgi didn't expect to find Jungkook standing in the kitchen when she came home.

Of course - you told her that the flight back home was scheduled at night and you'd probably arrive in the morning. This shouldn't be surprising. Yet, Seulgi still widens her eyes when she sees Jeon Jungkook cooking breakfast, his hair a mess, his face slightly swollen - an indication that he just woke up - wearing shorts and a white t-shirt.

He turns around and smiles. "Oh! Y/N didn't tell me you were coming back so early." He sounds a little bit surprised.

Seulgi notices it immediately.

That smile on his face and those gleamy eyes are just shown by someone that had a long, steamy and tiring night of sex.

Sure, Seulgi knows that you and Jungkook made up - and that you've been fucking for months now - but damn, it's still shocking to see it with her own eyes, considering that you only looked like good friends.

"I didn't know I'd come back early, too." Seulgi says, sitting by the tiny kitchen counter. She was expecting to spend the weekend at Irene’s penthouse, but she had to work. This is one of the reasons why Seulgi loves Irene; Irene could just enjoy her fortune and do nothing, yet, she decides to actively work for the company. She’s admirable.

"Do you want breakfast?" He asks over his shoulder.

"Well… I already had breakfast, but this is smelling really good." She admits. Jungkook nods and proceeds to prepare one more portion. She just watches in silence as he works around the kitchen (and she's also surprised that he knows where everything is, every pot, every spoon, literally everything). He hums quietly, that tiny satisfied smile never leaving his lips.

Seulgi thinks she has never seen him so happy.

It's kind of adorable.

"So, how was your job?" She asks.

"It was great!" Jungkook says excitedly. He chuckles. "I thought I was going to be the assistant of the assistant, but actually I was everyone's assistant. I didn't really do much, but it was great anyways. It's totally different to study about it and see how things work in real life."

Before Seulgi says anything, she sees you coming from your bedroom.

Your face is swollen and your eyes are barely opened; it seems you're not even seeing where you're going. Your hair is a complete mess. You wear one of Jungkook's shirts and Seulgi suspects you're not wearing anything under it.

She watches as you walk on a beeline straight to Jungkook and hug him from behind, burying your face on his back.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" At least that's what she thinks you said, because your voice sounds muffled.

"Because you looked so funny that I didn't want to wake you up." He says softly. Seulgi can hear his smile. "You were drooling and all. I even took some pictures."

"You didn't."

"I did." Jungkook giggles when you punch his back, but still keep your body glued on him.

"Fuck you. What are you cooking anyways? It smells too fucking good." You mumble.

"It's my special recipe." Jungkook moves to take something on the cabinet. You go along. "I can't cook if you keep smashing me like this."

"I don't caaare."

"Since when do you like hugging so much?"

"You didn't know girlfriend Y/N. Girlfriend Y/N likes long hugs."

Jungkook chuckles again. "Nice to meet you, Girlfriend Y/N."

Seulgi just stares, jaw dropped. From all the things she thought she’d see in her life, this is the most unexpected.

This is so cheesy. So not you. Not even when you were dating Mike you were like this.

And Jesus- she has never seen you look happy like this.

You turn your head to look at Seulgi, and she watches awkwardly as you let go of Jungkook and proceed to walk in her direction. You kind of look like a really happy zombie.

“Oh, good morning, Seul. Don’t be jealous. I love you toooo.”

And you throw your arms around her shoulders, hugging her so tightly that she almost falls from the stool.

The only person that doesn’t get shocked at your relationship is your mother.

You casually called her just to talk and gave the news. What she said?

“Well, finally.”

Everyone else is utterly shocked.

When Hoseok saw you kissing each other goodbye the other day - it was just a peck - his eyes got so wide that it seemed they were about to pop out of his face. He stared at you and him, completely shocked, as Jimin just laughed. That was pretty much everyone’s reaction.

You and Jungkook were never the type to be too touchy. It’s still kind of awkward to hand hold in public or call each other things like babe or love. You physically cringe just thinking of calling him “babe”, honestly.

It’s weird, because you’re “officially” dating now, but your relationship isn’t all that different. All the overwhelming awkwardness between you is gone (thankfully), so now you do what you always did; you swear at each other, you have your violent ways of showing affection, he still ghosts you because he’s too busy playing whatever game. The only difference is that now you can fuck without feeling guilty (and oh boy, you’ve been fucking a lot these days) and there’s a lot of kissing. There wasn’t that much kissing back then.

You thought it was impossible, but sex is even better now. It’s more exciting and even funnier - especially because there’s no awkwardness weighting in the room after you both reach your climaxes. Instead, there’s giggles and hugs and soft kisses. You also sleep at each other’s places now, which is good.

To be honest, if you think really hard about it, you’ve been lowkey dating for years. It’s just that now, you fuck a lot.

When you tell him this, Jungkook just chuckles. You don’t think he’s really listening to what you’re saying, though - nor you’re thinking straight anymore. You went out with your friends at a karaoke and, as expected, ended up drinking way too much; you and Seulgi had a singing competition in which none of you won (Irene just sat there looking absolutely embarrassed), Jimin sang a little bit but disappeared at some point (Jungkook said he noticed some hot guy in the side room), Hoseok got so emotional singing Haru Haru by BigBang that he started crying as Seokjin laughed so hard he almost choked, and Jungkook didn’t sing at all (because everybody knew he’s actually good at it and he would humiliate everyone else), until Jungkook silently asked if you wanted to leave (and you did) and you two left before anyone could notice (they were too drunk to notice anyway).

Since he’s drinking, you took a bus. The wrong bus. You’re at the other side of the city now, sitting on the bench of a park, watching the sun rise. It sounds romantic, but really, everything you see is heavy traffic and the grey pollution line in the horizon, almost blocking the sun.

Not that you care.

“We did everything backwards.” Jungkook says, his voice low and a little bit husky. His eyes look heavy because of the alcohol. You love how his hair is tied in a tiny ponytail. “People usually are friends first, then go out on dates, then they fuck.”

“We jumped straight to the fun part!” You say as if it’s obvious. He giggles again.

Peaceful silence. Jungkook watches your intertwined hands sitting on his lap, a small smile on his face. You can see that, even though he’s right by your side, his mind must be far, far away. He’s clearly sleepy. It’s silly - you know this guy almost your entire life, you already have memorized each detail about him - but you can’t take your eyes off of him right now.

You inhale.

“You know.” You start absently. “I saw the video.”

Jungkook frowns and looks at you. “What video?”

You’re trying really hard to hold back a smile.

“I think it’s called euphoria final test I swear to God.”

His eyes widen.

“W-What? Who showed you?!” He groans. “Jimin. Oh my God- I’m gonna fucking kill him!”

You start laughing as you see blush creeping on his cheeks and ears. He hides his face behind his hands and moans painfully.

“Why are you so embarrassed?” You ask, endeared, trying to get his hands off from his face, but he won’t let you.

“You weren’t supposed to watch that! It’s- it wasn’t- ugh!”

“But the song is beautiful, Kook!” You try, still laughing.

“Yeah, the song is alright, but the video?”

“What’s wrong with the video?”

He finally side eyes you for a few seconds. The blush on his cheeks gets redder. He hides his face again, groaning.

“You weren’t supposed to find out about that. Shit, I can’t look at you anymore. I wanna fucking die.”

“Stop being so dramatic!” After a lot of effort, you finally manage to cup his face with your hands. Still, he avoids your gaze. “Hey, hey. Look at me!”

He does.

He looks sheepish and it’s adorable.

“I loved it. Every second of it. You’re so damn talented.”

“B-But I didn’t write the song alone… Namjoon takes most of the credits with the lyrics. I just helped a little bit. A-And you know, it was just for fun, it’s not an official demo or anything-”

He’s forced to shut up when you peck his lips.

“I love you.”

He knits his eyebrows a little bit.

“You like to say this a lot.” He notices quietly. “I didn’t know you were this type of person.”

“I’m not.” You agree. “But it’s because it’s you.”

You’ve been “officially” dating for, what, almost two weeks now? People usually don’t say “I love you” this early. But this isn’t the beginning for you two. It’s more like a progression. It feels natural, like it has always been with him.

It feels like home.

Jungkook avoids your gaze again. The blush hasn’t gone away. “I don’t know what to do when you say things like that- why are you crying?!”

It’s Jungkook’s time to laugh at you as you try to wipe the tears away. He pulls you to rest your head on his chest, hugging you tightly.

“I am supposed to be the emotional one here, not you.” He says, still laughing.

“Shut up. I’m drunk.”

“Yeah, sure.” His laughter slowly dies until it’s just a quiet giggle. You feel his scent, hear the beating of his heart. Jungkook kisses the top of your head gently, caressing your back. “I’m gonna be so embarrassed when I remember I said this tomorrow,” he says softly against your hair. “But I think I’ve loved you ever since that first day of school when we bumped into each other on our way.”

You bury your face on his chest even more.

Everything around you is blurred and distant. It seems that nothing really matters besides right here, right now - as if you’ve never realized what you’ve been waiting for your whole life. This moment.

Him.

The puzzle is finally complete.

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