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crookedkryptonitebeliever · 1 year

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Bunny (Part 1)

masterlists, part 2

Tw: self depreciation

Minors and ageless blogs please DNI

My first proper Yandere OC, with actual names and appearances. There will be many parts to this, kinda slow burn yandere , short introductory post for now and i no i did not proofread </3

hope you like it <3 enjoyy

So you're this lonely office worker, looking for love. Maybe perhaps you're just trying to follow the mainstream channel of Studying well, working well, get good at office politics, finding a good spouse, not get into crippling debt, having kids then finally die. In that order. Or you're just, simply lonely.

But it is hard though. So damn hard. It wasn't because you're undesirable. With the help of dating apps, you could easily get a partner. You may not be that 1% of people who are Aphrodites or Adonises, but there is still a demand for you, the average person, on the dating market. If you made the first move, a lot of your coworkers would say yes, a lot of the regular patrons at the bar would say yes and a lot of the random passengers that also rides the subway train would say yes, because they too, are fucking lonely.

Now you would simply settle for a good Ol' average Joe or Joessica. Have an average relationship with average ups and downs, average life and average funeral. But you don't want to, you have a debilitating fear of abandonment, and, you believe that everyone will eventually find you annoying and would finally leave you. Not if you leave them first.

You understand, you get it. You're just like everyone else, wanting assurance that their partner would never leave them. Wanting their partner to prove their undying loyalty. But... you're not even sure how can someone give their 101% to you, what does that even look like? You don't even know how to prove that you'll stay in the relationship. That's fair, everyone is simply trying their best and you should too.

You can't really stay long in a relationship because of that fear of heartbreak, fear of abandonment, fear of giving all of you and having the other party just throw it all away, fear of betrayal, fear of disappointment. Well, you can't really be disappointed when your expectations for others are in the negatives, can you?

But you still try, and that's admirable.

You met him through a mutual friend. Your friend likes playing matchmaker, so they were more than happy to pair you up with the 'perfect' candidate they have in mind.

You're going to try and stay longer than three months this time. Even if you only made it to three months and a day, its still an improvement. It will be scary, it will be easy to fall back to your usual habits of gradually withdrawing and finally breaking off through text, then blocking your ex on everything, fearing their ultimate response. You're going to try.

You didn't get to have a preview , or a sample of this blind date of yours before the date itself. All you know is; It is a he. He is a legal adult, he is mentally sound enough to make decisions for himself and he is attracted to people of your gender or lack thereof. So rest assured, he won't immediately walk away as soon as you present yourself to him.

Thrifty Lunch, Cheap Dinner, coffee meetups or free walks at the park, you expected any of these to be what he planned. But brunch? Bougie, stylish brunch? And at an expensive, reputable restaurant to top it off. That is new. You must admit, this strange, unexpected decision made you tingly with curiosity and excitement inside. How interesting, right off the bat, you can tell your blind date is at least middle to upper middle class.

It did add a bit of stress on you though, you're used to lower effort dates that you're not even sure if you have the appropriate outfit for the occasion. You do have a ballgown and a tuxedo, but you think that is a little too much for brunch. Flipflops and dirty sweatpants seem a tad too embarrassing for brunch. What do people even wear for brunch?

You asked around and got some advice. You work with what you had and you managed to put together a decent, semi-formal attire. You made sure that it's comfortable though, you're sure that you're going to need the flexibility when your grabby hands got a hold on some bottomless mimosas.

So the day came and you entered the establishment. There were no kids and generally, the target demographic for brunch are adult women having quality girlfriend time, flamboyant men enjoying and laughing among their peers, families and a lot of millennials. At least, from what you can see.

It wasn't hard to find your date. He is the only patron there sitting alone. Everyone else had their own companion, be it a singular friend, giggling away, or a gaggle of twenty.

He was sipping his own glass of mimosa when he saw you. Your date gave you the warmest, kindest smile you can imagine. His full, lush, naturally pink lips wrapped around a perfect set of pearly whites. His lovely smile reached his hazel eyes, it was a Duchenne one as there were crow feet at the outer corners. Endearing fat pockets under his eyes made him look extra cheerful, Aegyo sal, was it? It made your heart skip a beat, he was drop dead gorgeous.

Your not-so-blind date had fabulous, pitch black hair with a healthy sheen, you're absolutely jealous of his beautiful, curly blowout that waterfalls to his upper back. Though, you're not sure if he dyed the hair on his scalp that way or he dyed his eyebrows copper red. Charming aquiline nose, attractive high cheekbones, fluttery eyelashes, youth-signifying dimples and skin clear as glass, dewy and glowing in prosperity. He has a distinct beauty mark on his right cheek, above his lip. Just like how a certain 1950's, iconic, blonde bombshell of a sex symbol, has it too.

He gave you a finger-wiggling wave and a wink, quite the flirt, he is.

Your jaw is on the floor, you're ready to bolt out of the restaurant and that block button is looking mighty fun to push. He is in that 1% Adonis demographic, an androgynous deity of love, lust and beauty. How are you going to feel secure in the relationship when he looks like this? You're freaking the fuck out, man! He is way out of your league, how is this a good idea?

You're in the middle of short circuiting when he comes up to you and gave you a polite, yet intimate, welcome hug. You're pressed against his chest, clothed with a cotton turtleneck shirt. He smells of expensive, masculine cologne, the type that you would always spray samples on yourself but not buy because it costs half your paycheck. His fashionable blazer's lapel brushed against your arm as you gently pushed him away. You feel severely underdressed for the occasion.

"You look adorable." He cooed, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. Your mouth is open, but you say nothing. What is there to say? Compliments? You don't know what he haven't heard.

So you stutter, stumble over your words out of nervousness, trying to tell him he looks good, you feel inadequate, you don't want to do this anymore and you're going to shit on your friend, all at the same time, nothing coherent came out, all he and you heard was gibberish.

He chuckled, "Well, Hello to you too." You just shut your mouth up and turned redder than a tomato. You must have sounded silly.

"Come, let's sit." He enveloped his smooth, professionally manicured, bony hand around your relatively smaller one. He held your hand, palm facing downwards, fingers locking around your hand. His grip on you was tight, snuggly so but not uncomfortable yet.

You stared at his fingers as he lead you to the seat, you can't believe his ring fingers are bare. No way, this seems too good to be true.

You soothed your nerves by telling yourself he must have some flaw, a flaw so bad that no one tried to keep him to themselves yet. Yeah, that must be it, he must be toxic in some way, that's why he is still single. Please let that be true, you don't know how you're going to deal with your inner critic if he's actually stunning with a heart of pure, 24k gold.

He pulled your chair out for you and adjusted to your liking once you sat on it, like the gentleman he is. Your date went to his own seat, your fingers are crossed behind your back, hoping that he just has a downright horrible personality so you could feel better about yourself. Then you caught your thought and realized, what a weird wish.

Now that his face returns to a more neutral expression, you get to examine his actual eye shape. It is strikingly upturned, mischievous with an unreadable glint to it. You brush off your intuition that something feels a little strange when you look deep into his eyes, though it felt like he knows something you don't, it's probably nothing.

There is already a glass of mimosa waiting for you already. You just went for it, you need the fucking booze dealing with him.

Your head shot up when he addressed you by your name. He grinned at you, propping his head up with his elbow on the table, leaning his cheek against the back of his fingers.

You asked him how he knew your name.

"I was just guessing, my dear. Looks like I'm correct." He laughed.

You eyed him warily. You don't think anyone could guess your name. Your friend must have said something to him, that's not fair, isn't it?

You asked him what his name is.

"Leveret, it's a pleasure to meet you. And you?" Your eyes momentarily darted at his index and middle fingers, they're twitching, strangely like bunny ears. You don't think he's doing it on purpose.

You told him that he already 'guessed' your name correctly. He widened his eyes a bit before beaming again.

"I have? Silly me, I must have been distracted by you."

You gave him a confused and hesitant apology.

"You're just so cute. So adorable. I could just eat you up." His hands were squishing the air, eyes peering intensely into yours. Leveret must be trying to quell his cute aggression.

You don't know whether to feel shy or patronized by his reaction. But you kept your distance.

He took the hint and calmed down. He took a deep breath and smiled, Leveret asked if you were ready to order. He is going to call the waiter if you are.

You nodded. You're going to need some food and the bottomless mimosas to keep you going.

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judasrpc · 1 year

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US PRESIDENTS PLAY POPPY PLAYTIME (YOUTUBE 2023) STARTERS

add context & change gendered language to your needs !! containts references to violence and horror.

if multi, please specify which muse(s) !! credit goes to the channel presidentsplayhorrorgames

" What the hell is it with you and creepy old places, [name]? "

" Let me guess, this is the neighborhood you grew up in? "

" That's like the fucking stone ages, [name], die already! "

" Is that a Pokémon or whatever it's called? "

" What the hell is that supposed to mean, [name]? "

" It's a very self-explanatory sentence. "

" I have a lot of confidence moving forward now. "

" Why are you so fucking negative all the time? "

" 'Cause I'm around you. "

" I told you assholes that we were caught in a paradox, but none of you guys wanted to believe me! "

" These are dangerous toes I'm stepping on. "

" Either he's French, or his parents did not like him as a child. "

" I mean, if your child was French, wouldn't you be disappointed? "

" Never mind, I see what you're laying down. "

" While you two nincompoops are over collecting the scraps of your brain cells, I already know the objective. "

" Good job, guys. Teamwork makes the dream work! "

" Ah, my favorite music from the menu. It's like I'm in a retirement home. "

" Did he just rip his fucking head off? "

" And what not to do! Like rip somebody's head off. "

" Just the casual things! I can reach items on the top shelf, airbend some electric waves, and land in prison for a double homicide. "

" Now you can only commit singular homicide. "

" You're vandalizing an already vandalized building. And it's not even vandalism, you're just moving some boxes around. "

" Funny, the second you mention work, he stops. "

" You know damn well that's too much like common sense. "

" Tall?? He's like the Jolly Green Giant! "

" Alright, listen here beanstalk- "

" I am not enjoying this music at all. This does not give me very friendly vibes. "

" Doesn't matter where it came from, we know where we have to go now. "

" Ah, you really just put anything in someone's mouth and roll with it, huh? "

" I don't even believe I said that yet in your imaginary little world. "

" The hell do you mean I can't misuse company time? I get paid three cents to move around boxes, I'll do whatever the hell I want. "

" Well, it looks like I'll take over for the time being! "

" I could say a lot right now, but I'll keep my mouth shut. "

" Welp, I see no problem moving forward here. Clearly no present danger that is alarming us to what's ahead. "

" I think Hell would be a better place to go than through that door. "

" A long and dark hallway never killed anybody. "

" Is it leaking carbon monoxide to kill us, hopefully? "

" Set the bar low? Got it- "

" It's not practical, but I can see why they implemented these things. "

" That's Business Failure 101! "

" Like I would waste the budget flopping around my Disneyland dick on the table because I wanted the under operations to feel magical. "

" If [name]'s hiding it, that doesn't promise anything good. "

" [Name] was definitely the kid to put the square blocks in the circle hole. "

" [Name], you probably sucked on a wooden spoon as entertainment. Hell, you'd probably do that now! "

" Damn, we're old! "

" You are old and I am not. "

" Are you smarter than a fifth grader? You can put the pieces together. "

" And with that note, I think it's about time we high-tail it out of here. "

" Have you seen how long that motherfucker's arm is? He could probably wear me like a sock puppet! "

" That's an image in my head I wish I could unsee. "

" First, jump off a cliff. Second- "

" Yeah, that really fucking helps, [name]. Just sit there and focus on commentary while you leave the puzzles to me! "

" I thought you said you were done questioning the logic? "

" And that's after five bankruptcies, two divorces, and a criminal record. "

" Another classic [name] joke. A couple more, and they might let you back on the late show. "

" He would know about shady business practices. "

" Yeah! A one percent increase in performance- Let's burst open the champagne bottles! "

" [Name], you would be the type of person to be concerned about international cybersecurity, but will watch online porn sites with so many viruses you'd think it came from a lab. "

" You old bastard, I genuinely wish you'd have a stroke. "

" You're just being an asshole, [name], but what else is new? "

" Those eyes look like they've been around since the Civil War. "

" What do you think I'm trying to do? So shut the hell up! "

" What can you say? I had to bring it home for the boys. "

" It's like the Victorian era vomited all over here. "

" This was not what I meant, but to each their own. "

#rp memes #rp meme #rp prompts #rp prompt #roleplay prompts #writing prompts #ask box meme #askbox meme #rph #rpc #judasrpc

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cosmic-day · 5 months

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The Star Beast: have seen it and didn’t love it. Thoughts, spoilers and negativity under the cut :

To start with the good: having positive trans representation in a mainstream show like Doctor Who is hugely important in the current climate and the episode was in many ways worth it just for that. Am I getting some innocent amusement from imagining the reactions of NMDs who (somehow) imagined RTD would save them from the show being ‘woke’? Why, yes I am.

The Meep was a lot of fun, the new TARDIS interior is gorgeous, Shirley Bingham was great and I hope to see more of her.

Despite my issues with Ten, it was fun to see Tennant again. Still not sold on the Fourteenth Doctor as a concept, but give David Tennant credit for playing him just differently enough that I could believe he came after 11/12/13, annoying catchphrases notwithstanding.

However:

I don’t know what the fuck any of this had to do with celebrating sixty years of Doctor Who.

A lot of the charm of this episode for most people will be having Donna back, but as I am the one person in this fandom who is not a Donna fan, that just left the plot and I think the most generous word I can think of is “flimsy”.

Five minutes in and we get the “Rose” fakeout. RTD please shut up about Rose challenge. Also it turns out that Rose named herself Rose because she inherited the Doctor’s memories, oh fuck off. If that’s the reason, it should have been Susan.

Rose being trans/non binary because the Doctor is non binary is a weird way of saying that being trans is a normal part of the human experience.

The whole handwavium around Donna getting her memories back. Look first of all, I’m glad she did, because that ending never sat right with me, but the main reason it didn’t sit right was because of the horrible consent issues around the Doctor removing Donna’s memories against her will, and that is not even addressed.

Also, the execution of it just felt cheap to me. It’s such an RTD move to hype something up and then handwave it away – I mean, does anyone else remember that she already got her memories back in The End of Time and all that happened is she had a nice nap – and so the more they built up the whole “she will die” the more annoyed I got, and sure enough, hey look, she’s just fine!

Now, I could kind of accept that the metacrisis energy had passed to Rose. But the next scene was so cringeworthy and not in a good way. The weirdness of the whole “we let it go” because we are wise, compassionate, lovely women unlike you male presenting time lords was extremely WTF. I don’t know if RTD thought he was attempting feminism with this but it just came across as patronizing. Also, ironically, that kind of gender essentialist “women lovely, men horrible” shit is RadFem 101.

And finally – if you’ve been keeping up with the rumour mill, you will know why I laughed in despair when Donna spilt her coffee on the TARDIS console. There is a leak in the wild which so far has proved almost completely accurate, down to predicting the spilt coffee kick-starting the events of Wild Blue Yonder, and if it’s also right about how The Giggle ends, then all I can say is - buckle up, kids. Shit’s about to go down.

#doctor who #rtd2 electric boogaloo #the star beast #mamma mia here we go again doctor #oh ok fuck it yes I have to start calling him the fourteenth doctor #cosmic posts #dw spoilers #doctor who spoilers

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oddree13 · 2 years

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Six Kids and a Winnebago - Chapter 2

(Read on AO3) (Chapter 1)

Steve looks around and sees the kids about to get up and run into the water. Before he can open his mouth though Eddie is standing up, waving Steve off.

"Set the timer and I'll keep them busy for 30 minutes so they don't think Mom imposed rules again. Hey Wheeler!" He calls out and walks over to the boys, challenging them to a sandcastle contest on the shore. Steve laughs as Eddie gets up and works his Munson magic on the kids, his remarkable skill of distraction and playing on the kids' competitive (asshole) natures.

He lets himself relax as he watches them, right up until Nancy sits beside him. "So did you convince him to get in the water?"

“Yeah, he’s going to put his feet in. And I’m going to give him lessons back home, for next time.”

"Lessons? Eddie doesn't know how to swim? But didn't he get through Watergate?" she asks looking over at their friend in confusion.

“He like, just sunk with skill. All the way to the bottom, apparently. That’s what he said anyway.” Steve shrugs it off as he turns his attention back to watching Eddie interact with the kids. “Which is crazy, right? Dangerous. Which is why I’m going to teach him.”

"It was dangerous at the time sure,” Nancy agrees, “but now? Eddie doesn't strike me as the type to want to go swimming laps at the local pool so not so dangerous now. You don't need to be an eagle scout about it if he doesn't want to learn Steve." Steve hates that Nancy has taken it upon herself to be his paranoia check this summer before she goes off to Boston. Despite her insistence, he is not actually trying to bubble wrap their lives.

“Yeah but I’d rather him know how to swim in case of an emergency. Plus you just know the kids are going to make this a regular thing and I don’t want to be completely ganged up on in the water.” He tried to reason with her without stating the fact that maybe he was a little excited at the idea of one-to-one time with Eddie in swim trunks.

"Right and this has nothing to do with the ramble you gave me the other day about his tattoos? 'Nance I swear every time I look there's more! How many does he have?'" she imitates.

“Oh shut up, you know I’m right. I swear he sneaks off to get more. But not a noticeable amount, just enough to make me seem crazy.” Steve likes that he can argue with her now, after more than a year when he felt he had to tiptoe around her. “Maybe I should get a tattoo.”

Nancy has to cackle at that. "Please do and show your parents. I'd pay to be a fly on the wall for that." She gets her laughter under control and looks over to see the boys competing in building castles while Eddie is showing El sandcastle 101. "He didn't know you were an omega until today you know," she offers casually.

Steve’s head whips to look at Nancy to make sure she actually said that before looking back at Eddie, ignoring the way the boys were being children and sabotaging each other. “He didn’t? Really? What did he think I was?”

"Beta. According to Robin,” she gossips. “Didn't hear about your late bloom because it's not far-fetched to think Eddie Munson ignored anything that had to do with the popular kids. But then again he didn't know I was an alpha so he might just be oblivious," she shrugs, Steve unaware of how Nancy is watching him try and process that information.

“Yeah, I guess that’s not far-fetched at all.” Steve couldn’t take his eyes off of Eddie. He’d gotten used to people not really treating him like an omega after his late bloom. But it felt nice to know that Eddie had just been treating him like that anyway, but that it continued even after he found out. “Maybe he’s just dumb when it comes to secondary genders.”

"Probably. Robin also said he's just into guys, secondary doesn't play into it for him, which is very Eddie Munson," she decides. "So are swim lessons all you talked about?"

“We did talk about mates. About not being able to find them. We toasted to being single and watching the kids grow,” Steve tells her as he fights the urge to get up and tell the kids to just build their own castles and stop being destructive. “And about the business partners' alpha kids, actually”.

Nancy nods. She’s been told a few times about Harrington's suggestion and has been on the receiving end of his rants about it. She thinks it's a horrible idea and she told him so over and over again when his misery makes him wonder if his parents might be onto something. "To being single and watching the kids grow up? Interesting." She sucks in her lips, trying to hide a grin.

“What’s so interesting? Don’t think I can’t see that damn grin, Wheeler,” he nudges her gently.

"Nothing, nothing. He definitely cares about them as much as you do. It's nice. Makes me less worried to go off to Emerson in the fall."

“Oh, well. I’m glad. I can’t wait to hear about Emerson, you know. When you come back for breaks. You’re going to be amazing.

"Thanks. I'm nervous to go but it'll be good,” she admits, gripping her knees “You know Robin might come and see me over a long weekend," she adds, glancing over to the woman who’s now fallen asleep in the shade with her absence, but Steve sees her attempt to change the subject.

“You still haven’t answered my question Nance, what’s interesting about what we said.”

"I just think it's interesting that you're both promising to see these kids grow up. Together."

It takes Steve a second to really click onto what she was saying, even if he wasn’t completely clicking just yet. “Why is that weird? Of course, we’ll be together. We live here. And the kids are a part of our lives. What I’m saying makes sense,” Steve gestures, his finger emphasizing the points by poking the palm of his hand.

"Oh, it makes perfect sense. You both share a lot of your lives together. And the kids love you both. It's kind of cute. Well hopefully if your pact does break, the omega Eddie brings in fits in just as well."

Before the words can fully process, Steve’s face falls at the thought of Eddie bringing an omega into it all. He can’t explain why, but it’s making his chest hurt. “Yeah...yeah, I’m sure whoever he picks the kids will love. It’ll be good for him.” It was stupid for him to think otherwise because he should want his friend to be happy. It’s not jealousy about Eddie, more about that Eddie would have someone while he’s alone. Right?

Nancy watches as Steve's face goes through a series of emotions and wonders if he knows that his feeling isn't just jealousy from sharing a friend. Before she can say anything though Eddie is walking over, his shirt now off because Max threw sand at it. "Harrington do you have extra sunscreen? I'm not letting my money go to waste by ruining my tattoos."

“Yes! I do.” That question quickly snaps Steve out of his tumbling thoughts as he quickly jumps up, moving a few steps away to reach into his bag and a second later tossing a bottle over to Eddie. “It’s a good one, your tattoos should be safe.”

"Thanks, man. Wheeler," he nods, looking between them as if he’s interrupting something.

"You know,” Nancy snaps, standing, “sunscreen reminds me that I should adjust Robin's umbrella so she doesn't burn. Steve how about you help Eddie get his back!" she suggests and runs off.

Steve feels like he’s missing something, but nods. “Yeah. I’ll help him. I can help.” He wouldn’t say no to helping - sun safety is important after all.

"You don't have to Steve. I can get most of it myself," he starts but the patented Steve-mom look he gets has him turning around and handing over the bottle.

Steve starts at his shoulder and figures he’d do this quietly when Eddie starts talking. The man doesn’t do silence. "It's crazy how much El has missed out on. She's fifteen but it's like watching a six-year-old sometimes. I helped her make a moat and she got so delighted she made the eater spiral over us, which is certainly something to behold."

“That’s pretty cool,” he agrees, “it’s nice that we can give her moments like this, you know? Time to be a kid. It’s kinda the same with most of them. Not to the same extent. But I know most of them missed out on normal childhood things.”

Steve is about done, but when his hand reaches Eddie’s neck he feels him tense, pulling away from his touch. "Alright! I think I've got it from here. Why don't you let the kids know they can go into the water again,” he suggests, looking a little frazzled for a reason Steve can’t explain.

“Right. Yeah. Yes, I’ll do that. Let the sunscreen soak in for five before you get wet, Munson,” he orders, using the excess on his hands to top up the one on his own chest before heading towards the shore.

Steve immediately gets roped into whatever the kids want to do, which right now involves him picking them up and throwing them into the lake from where he stood already waist-deep. He’s pretty strong for an omega, years of sports to thank for that coupled with the annual fight with unworldly creatures. He’s just finished throwing El into the lake when Eddie comes to the shore a few feet away, his hair pulled up in a haphazard bun. Steve doesn’t think he’s ever seen Eddie with his hair up, and he finds himself staring.

"Don't even fucking think about doing that to me Harrington. If I even see a glint of the idea in your eye I'm leaving you to deal with all these gremlins," he warns, taking a step closer to the water but one step further from Steve's reach.

“I would never!” He calls out with a bark of a laugh, mere seconds before Dustin jumps on his back and dunks him. It’s clear when Steve comes up from the water that the sight of him disappearing into the lake because of a rogue child doesn't make Eddie feel at ease whatsoever. He manages to tangle his limbs off of Dustin and stands back up, pushing his wet hair back. “It’ll feel nice on your feet, I promise,” gesturing him to come close

Eddie takes a tentative step to the water and dips his toes in. Steve watches as his face relaxes a bit and can’t help but stare as the alpha takes in the view of the lake, noticing that he absently touches his stomach scars as he does. Steve knows how those particular scars feel on his body, even if he has significantly less than the alpha.

Carefully, he takes a few towards Eddie, smiling. “We could sit if that’s okay? Like, in general really shallow part. It’ll cool you off.”

"I'm not sure how jeans will be in the water but if it lessens the chance that one of those hellions tackles me I'll do it." Eddie squats and sits gingerly, stretching his legs out. Steve takes a seat beside him and takes in the contrast of their legs - one set pale, the other sun-kissed.

“Do you want to hear something fucked up Steve?” Eddie asks as he looks out onto the water, and Steve wonders if his eyes are trying to place the location of all the messed-up things that happened here a few months ago.

“What’s fucked up?”

“I’d do all of spring break all over again if it meant having this. I mean I’d want Chrissy to be alive of course, but the whole learning about this other world and fighting for my life thing? I think I’d go through it if it meant I got all of you at the end. Fucking sappy more than fucked up probably,” he admits, laughing at the realization.

Steve shakes his head because he gets it. “I could probably do without the nightmares, but I know what you mean. The first year it happened I wanted to run from it all, but now? Now I don’t think I’d make that trade either. Especially now.”

Steve knows he’s staring but something isn’t letting him look away. Something more is on the tip of his tongue but before it can come out, Max and El are squirting Eddie with a water gun, sending the alpha running to the shore.

“I blame you for this Harrington! I take back everything I just said!”

Steve can’t help but laugh because he knows it’s untrue. Whatever he has to say can keep for now. Or at least until he and Eddie are alone in his pool.

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mrschwartz · 9 months

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Mojo dojo casa house?

hogging this ask to share my opinions on the barbie film which i had promised i'd do!

i only watched it once so obv i'm gonna catch a lot more in subsequent viewings and might even change my opinion on some things but

at first view what impressed me the most were the production and costume designs! the barbieland set and the barbies' outfits are really impressive and fucking awesome, they helped a lot in the immersive nature of the film and to sell the premise. the commitment to the rules of the doll universe was fucking stellar, the walking on tiptoes, her floating down to the car, there not being any actual liquids or food

and like okay. the plot. phewwwwwww. it's metamodern and i get it, and while it certainly was Extremely self-aware it often seemed like said self-awareness was being actualized by someone with a very specific, not necessarily privileged but oftentimes limited, worldview. for example, america ferrera's speech was great but didn't it feel like feminism 101? i thought the film was going to commit to some more radicalized notions, i guess lmao

but i don't want to judge it based on my expectations, let me judge it for what it is! something that i have to give it credit for is the critic given to barbie dolls themselves, especially the ones from sasha (maybe it's bc i'm zillenial so i've been her lol). i wasn't expecting the film to open that discussion and that gave it a turning point that i think was much needed. what i will say is that i think too much importance was given to the historical significance of barbies lol ("you set feminism back 50 years you fascist!") but i think that's a given since the movie was produced by mattel iself

i would love to analyze this film for what it is and not mostly for the message it's trying to send (bc i'm The Biggest believer that stories don't have to have a moral lesson, and in fact are probably better when they don't tbh) but it truly only works when you take into account the discussion it's trying to sparkle. and good for it! it did its job, people are fucking talking about it lmao. we're in a weird cultural moment where people like me think the film would've benefitted from being more radical (by GOD not in a terf sense, terfs can die and burn lmao, but in a let's free the nipple and grow our body hair and raise boys and girls the same way sense) but conservative people think it IS radical for supposedly sending the message that women should hate men (???)

on that note. i'm Definitely not siding with the conservatives here (my god please god Definitely not) but the film kept hammering on the fact that we should fight the patriarchy (and i've seen people saying that you're missing the point if you don't realize that the film is us vs patriarchy and not women vs men) but i think that's giving too much credit to the film vnfjvnfjv like i said, it's feminism 101, so in the end the barbies still take back barbieland, no? they go back to the beginning of the film, this idyllic world where one gender rules all and occupies all of the space. and like I GET IT, it's a comment on how the opposite is what happens in our world, i'm not stupid lol. i'm just angry that the dichotomy IS there, is all i'm saying. the film criticizes the things women are associated with and the expecations we have to live with, but also plays straight into it when this world governed by women is all pink and glamourous and perfect lmao does my critic make sense? that particular message of the film feels very girl power 2014 tumblr core

speaking of which, anyone else not happy at all with the capitalist recuperation this film brought about? "let girls dress in pink and wear barbie merch to this blockbuster multimillion dollar movie!! this is our moment, if men can cosplay to watch mcu films then the girls can have this one!!" oh honey. "movies for girls" and "movies for men" much? there goes the polarization again. AND the commodification of something that Should be counterculture. thanks for contributing to both <3

all of this not to say that i didn't like the movie! i did it was great i laughed a lot! sometimes its self-awareness bothered me for how "biased" it was but most of the time the film really benefitted from it in its comedy! depression barbie made me HOWL lmao, and the kens serenating the barbies with an acoustic guitar gave me war flashbacks bc literally what woman hasn't been there, stuff like that

and. it did make me cry lol. the final scene when barbie is talking to ruth handler and finally understands what it's like to be human and more specifically a human woman really touched me bc it was a commentary on the personal. it wasn't getting at broad social subjects, it was all about internal conflict and acceptance. reminded me of the epiphany scene from soul and the parking lot scene from everything everywhere all at once. i feel like metamodern films rely a lot on these self-referential and social commentaries, but are also slowly walking towards looking inwards a lot, and that means so much to me. the examples i've observed so far in cinema are fucking beautiful, i hope it's here to stay

#like in the end it's a comedy supposed to sparkle conversation and it's doing just that so like who am i lol. but i do have 2 cents!#ask #anonymous #barbie

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skztea · 2 years

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ How SKZ members show their love to you (req by lovely anon!)

~ note: in this post i won’t be talking much about kisses as i will be doing a separate one, hence this one will be more about their usual and other multiple ways of expressing love. do stay tune for upcoming ones. | Also, it’s abit long im so sorry, please read finish if you can ><

✦ bang chan

• side track abit, to me, i have always thought that bang chan is a total husband material. He is always so respectful towards people regardless of their genders, especially being a gentleman towards females. one impression i had of him was when he was watching AOTM ryujin’s dance in his vlive and he turned away politely when he saw her twerking, in my mind i was like “wow this guy, have my respect.”

• so, i feel that bang chan is not the kind that will say sweet nothings, but more of lots of affirmation, encouraging words towards you. like he will say things like “hey, you know what i like about you? you are so great at (whatever strengths you possess)… so don’t ever doubt yourself okay? you always have my back and i love you” -> whatever he say, he does, he shows his love always has a meaning behind it. He don’t just surfacely tell you “oh i like/love you so much” “you are so cute” “you are so lovely” but rather someone who will indulge himself to search for that inner beauty that attracted him, and possibly give you confidence to enhance them and become a better person.

• other than that, i feel he is someone who will buy things that reminds him of you wherever he go. He will ensure the item he bought is something meaningful. Let’s say you like to play the guitar, he would buy a good quality guitar pick and say “hey this reminded me of you, wanna buy for you so whenever you play the guitar you will think of me and know that im always around you, supporting you mentally.” Also, he will cook you good food or food you wish to eat that day. “no problem, i’ll make sure to place the delicious food infront of you once you come back, have a great day babe,” then he will give you a quick peck on your lips before you leave for work/school.

• all in all, he will be that matured man who already acts like a husband even before marriage — making sure you are doing great in general, quick to detect if something is wrong with you and check in. then he will listen, advice, encourage you when you are down, as well as giving you hugs and kisses when you share joy, remember details of yours and take care of most of the things and all you need to do is to be a happy s/o that he wants you to be. An action person i see, not afraid to express, but express in a matured way that warms your heart with the little things he say or do. I repeat, 101% hubby material.

✦ minho

• minho is not as expressive as bang chan, or i would say one of the most quiet member in skz. He definitely won’t say sweet words, but you know the moment he say stuff like “do you know i really like you alot?” “i love you” “i can’t live without you”, he really really mean it. It will be rare of him to say such words, so i feel he will only say them when he feels emotional, or touched when he sees you doing something that touches his soft spot, or when he faces some difficulties and his mind can only think about you.

• it is known that he is more awkward or shy in nature, so he will express his love from all the tiny details that often occur in daily lives. Simple things like: packing your wardrobe, replenish stocks for home, preparing meals, cleaning the house, buying the food or things you like etc. Although he isn’t someone good at expressing love via his mouth, his action shows it all. “minho, you remembered the skin care i used?! so impressive!” you noticed your skincare got replenished right after you finished using yours this morning. Looking at him with gratitude emitting from your eyes, he would scrape the nape of his neck, smile lightly and brush it off saying “it’s nothing, hope you use it well” then he will walk off with redden cheeks.

• moreover, he would initiate physical contacts like holding onto your hands whenever you guys go out, making sure you walk on the inner side of the road and putting his hand around your waist when the place is filled with people. Although he doesn’t say much, he would use his actions to protect you at all costs. i feel he got the ‘knight’ vibe, the one who has the duty to keep the love of his life safe. “be careful!” he would pull you quickly by his side when the bicycle almost knocked onto you, later breathing heavily because he was scared you will be injured and his heart will ache. Checking you from head to toe and front to back, he will heave a sigh of relief as he retrieve your hands into his still trembling one. “Hey minho, it’s okay, im fine now alright?” he will nod, but still slightly frowning his eyebrows when that incident stamp in his mind and blame himself for not being observant enough.

• in conclusion, minho is a reserve but action speak louder than words person. He doesn’t talk well, but his gaze, his facial expressions, his actions will show his love towards you. Always keeping a lookout of you, furrowing eyebrows when he sees you almost hurting yourself, always sticking by your side to make sure you are safe and doing all the minor things and some ways he show his ultimate concern and love for you. Man with less words but prompt in actions is a keeper.

✦ changbin

• well for changbin, i feel that he is quite a scary yet funny person. contradicting am i? but yes i feel he has that intimidating exterior (i feel most of you can resonate like yo this scary rapper) but he is such a softie and when he does aegyo, that’s the end of our lives 🥲. my initial thought was, “changbin doesn’t look like the kind who will express much because he always has that scary vibe, he probably will be the more aggressive kind”.

• but nope, no more. Him expressing love will be more via his words. “jagiya, i hope you have a nice day today, love you muaks” that kind of messages to be sent to you everyday, without fail at 9am, and then “jagiya, tired today? dwaekki will shower you with lots lots love, then you won’t feel tired anymore. sleep tight my dear~” at 12am. When he typed those words, he will try his best to not show his smile by plastering a poker face until someone else say “changbin, we all know your heart is blossoming, stop acting” and then he will immediately throw that cool image behind his head. He will verbally tell you how precious you are while putting that poker face, later smiling ear to ear and saying “of course i wouldn’t black face you, how could i do that do my precious baby?”

• that contrast, tsk tsk. He seem like the kind that will only show his warm, soft, bubbly, crazy side of his to you. Everybody else will know the machine gun rapper changbin but you will know the soft dwaekki besides his usual image. He will often do aegyos infront of you, especially when you are angry at him. “Im sowwy babe, please forgive me, pretty pleasee?” then he will show this kind of face 🥺. after you accepted that apology, he will turn his back to normal and cheer “yes, i made y/n happy, i did it”

• he will be childish infront of you, for sure. sometimes you will feel confused when he jumps from the 2 extreme images, but it also your privilege to see that. he isn’t the type who is easily pushover, so if you are one of the rare that can see that side of him, you know that he trusts you with all his heart and you will love that vulnerable side as well. His way of expressing is through his words, but the most important thing behind those words is him exposing all of himself infront of you, being fully transparent because he loves you and he knows you will embrace him other than the seo changbin, 4th gen rapper king that public knows.

✦ hyunjin

• hyunjin is a boy with a very soft heart and some insecurities in him. No matter how much his loved ones or fans affirm his visual and talent, he will still take it with a humble heart or even deny them because he feels like ‘he doesn’t deserve it’ when he does! He laughs openly which is very healing and im sure he will do that alot infront of you, where he can just be who he is. The dark side, he can be someone who is possessive (in a good way).

• there are a few ways he would express his love: 1. through sharing his worries and concerns with you. somewhat similar to changbin, but i feel he will breakdown when he does so. Prolong accumulating his emotions in his heart, he will show all of them infront of you in a private space. When you listen and comfort him, he will say things like “oh my gosh y/n, i really don’t know what to do without you” “you are my life saviour y/n” “i can’t breathe without you by my side” etc. 2. he will express via his artwork. People who like art will usually pour their feelings and thoughts on drawings or paintings, likewise for him. Having you constantly in his mind, he will draw portraits of you or other things that relates to you and compile them in a folder.

• sometimes he will go like “hey jagi, can you be my muse for my next piece of artwork?” then you will be like “yea sure of course!” then both of you will spent half a day together trying to get his work done. 3. cuddling. I won’t go into detail cuz i may want to keep it for other headcanons, but i feel he will cuddle you alot in the nights and whisper how much he appreciates and loves you before drifting to dreamland — “ah, feels so good having you in my arms every night” “you are so warm!” “my personal pillow muaks” etc

• all in all, he will be a total softie when you are around, sticking by you alot as well as physical contacts like holding hands no matter where you are, backhugging you, kissing your forehead etc. Seem like the kind that will only show his affection when there’s only both of you but will show actions that you belong to him in public (underlying dominance). Insecure boy that makes you feel secure and then you will make him feel secure too (healing and loving relationship).

✦ jisung

• a loud boy, loud loud boy. Not afraid to express how much he loves you infront of people he is close to, but a shy baby infront of others. He seem like the kind that will keep asking you questions “is my baby feeling okay today?” “did you miss me today?” “did you eat good food today?” etc. Always making a habit to check in with you frequently.

• he won’t hesitate to blabber all the good traits about you, flexing about how wonderful you are and grateful to have you as an s/o. he also seem like someone who will call you often even though he has nothing to say. He just enjoy your existence on the other end of the call and it soothes him. He will also share many good things about you with his family, flashing triumph smile because he feels proud to have you.

• on the contrary, he also will ask for your opinion very often because he appreciates your perspective. Let’s say he have arguments with his other members, he will always go to you and firstly seek your comfort, later seek advice on how to resolve them. He may be impulsive at times, but will be grateful for you to pull him back from doing reckless things. Alot of gratitude words i see. He also seem like the kind that likes to hover his hands over your shoulder, poking or pinching your cheeks playfully and say “aigoo, you are so cute!” “you always make my day” “i must tell the world how awesome you are” that kind of stuff.

• in a nutshell, i feel that he is someone who likes to share to the whole world about how proud he is to have a wonderful s/o. When he feels strongly about something, he will just say everything in his mind and his members will go “okay jisung enough! enough! i heard about it everyday can you chill?!” because they are getting annoyed about how he go nonstop talking about you. Whereas infront of you, he likes to have playful physical contacts — ruffling your head, puffing your cheeks, playing with your fingers etc. Playful and loud boy but his heart is always loyal towards you.

✦ felix

• felix is like bang chan but not bang chan (wtf am i talking about haha) like both of them are the most expressive ones among the others, so he probably will like pda to show his love towards you. Not excessively, but doesn’t mind or unconciously shows them in the public. Like he will just go kissing you in the middle of the street because he feels like it and then you will hit his arm playfully and say “people are watching” then he be “i don’t care!”

• first thing that come to my mind is he will bake all the delicious cookies or brownies for you in random times. Like he would probably give others on special occasions, but he will be the one specially baking for you when he feels like it/receives new inspiration from a youtube video that shares new baking recipes. “Babe! I baked something new today, it turned out well! You are the first one to try them!” Then he will skip over to your side, handing you a delicate bowl with cookies inside that are made with love. He will be the one going the extra mile to do things for you, never once say “no”.

• I feel he will be the kind that always first think of you, above anyone. Like you are always at the tip of his heart and everything he does will be related to you. People will go like “felix, why are you doing this?” then he will be “oh because y/n likes this” “oh because i heard y/n mentioned it before and i think i can try them out” “i want to make y/n happy” etc. Whenever he meets you, he will crash himself into your arms and rub his nose against the crook of your neck, bear hugging you and say “i miss you” even though he just met you the previous day.

• basically, he will be the more expressive kind but not as matured as bang chan. He won’t have a second thought to say or show his love while making sure you receive it well from his gaze and smile. His smile is very heartwarming, and im sure he will do that alot to make you feel how much he adores you. “oh damn i love you” maybe a common sentence he will say when you do the slightest thing that helps him out.

✦ seungmin

• quiet, shy, calm boy. Other than minho, he would be another least expressive boy. But for you, he is willing to take the first step out of his comfort zone to express his love. Nothing exaggerating, just very casual things or words that are enough for you to experience his love. His eyes, or his gaze, will speak a thousand words. “seungmin! i love you so much!” you will be the one who say more of those then he will cringe internally, but later saying “i love you” when you fall asleep.

• i wouldn’t be surprise if he say he doesn’t know how to express them. When it comes to love, he probably will be flustered on how he can express them correctly so that you know he really loves you. “kin seungmin, do you really love me?” sometimes you will throw this question at him because you feel that he has been very neutral around you, even though his palpitating heart says otherwise that you are oblivous to it. he will then take your hand and place over his heart, saying “can you hear it?” then you will go surprised and blushing because his palm is burning and heartbeating insanely.

• seem like the kind that will nag you out of love and concern. “y/n, remember to bring your report tomorrow” “i’ve placed them on the table” “remember to bring your scripts” etc. he will be that naggy but lovely boyfriend who takes good care of you even though he rarely says “i love you”. He probably will enjoy spending time with you on the sofa playing games together, hands over your shoulders while you put your head on his shoulders.

• anyways, he is a guy that is not very good at expressing but will try his very best to show that he loves you or even more than how you love him. Although he doesn’t say it, but somehow his tiny gestures will make you feel like “wow, he actually cares and loves me that much.” some people may not like this type of guy but i feel this type of guy will be the most genuine and traditional kind of boy that expresses his love.

✦ jeongin

• lastly our baby bread. tbh initially i feel like jeongin is the kind that really knows how to express himself and cheer others up. That maknae that always want his hyungs to get along well, the maknae that receives love from his 7 hyungs. Until i watched 2 kids room yesterday (him x minho), then i realised both of them are actually not that great in expressing, although he portrays like he is good at it.

• the first thing that pops into my mind is, he will frequently joke around saying “i love you jagi” and show you a heart sign before he runs away (to idk where) because he wants you to chase after him. He will bring alot of positivity and laughters into your life. So if you are someone who is usually pessimistic, you will find the horizon with him. His smile is so bright and even though he is not my bias, i will eventually smile when i see him. “Babe, don’t be sad, things will be alright okay? You’ve got me! I’ll bring all your worries away!” Then he will circulate his arms around you, shaking your slouched body abit while facing the sunset.

• he loves taking pictures, be it himself or for others. Another prominent way will be taking many many pictures of you, or selcas with him. His way of expressing is to share all the different pictures he took, commenting on how mesmerising you look and he wants to make a collage with all of you or both memories together. He will probably give it to you on your birthday or anniversary, so sweet am i right?

• Thus, i would say that he is an innocent, cheerful boy that spreads positivity around people, especially more with you. He will bring you to amusement parks, aquariums, museums and cafes while both dressing like college couples, swinging your hands with his down the street and laughters filled the air. His eyes will be sparkly whenever he sees you, hugging you at the end of the day for a good 10mins before saying “goodnight my dear, i hope you had fun today, please stay happy.” If you enjoy high school/college vibe of dating, he will the most ideal kind of boy to date.

-> Utmost gratitude to my first lovely anon who drop me a request! I hope this isn’t too long for you, if it is, im so so sorry about it! Also, i hope you enjoyed reading this, if not you can let me know if there’s anything else to improve on :) if you like it, feel free to drop more requests for me, more than happy to write them out! || Requests are most welcome, drop me an ask (after reading the rules in a min) whenever something pops in your mind and i’ll pen them down!

-> also, lmk if this writing style is okay? (like in paragraphs) or do you guys prefer in short bullet points? since i like to write in detail, i can either write like the above, or write in many bullet points so, lmk what you guys think? :)

m.list | a.bout

#skz headcanons #stray kids headcanons #skz #stray kids #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #bang chan imagines #lee know imagines #changbin imagines #hyunjin imagines #han jisung imagines #felix imagines #seungmin imagines #jeongin imagines #skztea — sfw works ❁ཻུ۪۪♡#skztea’s gift for anon ｡･:*˚:✧｡

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astarriscus · 2 years

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ice creamed brain (101% salt, 50% sugar!) — kuroo tetsurou x gender neutral!reader ❀

"wait what?"

you blink. and blink again. and blink once more. and then you scrunch your eyebrows together, resting your head atop your propped up arm.

"what? w... what? huh? what? excuse me? pardon?"

"you alright there, (y/n)?"

"do you think i am?" "...nah, i guess not, then."

kuroo let out a laugh, an amused grin present on his face, which you would have seen if your head were not covered by your hands with your eyes peeking from behind your fingers.

"it just feels like. all my braincells have left my brain—hey don't you dare snort!"

...yet he still snickers, an eyebrow raised at you. "is there something you don't get?", he muses and you finally turn to him, your fingertips tapping your desk over and over again as you rack your brain to think properly and stop acting like a broken machine.

"honestly at this point i feel like i don't... get anything anymore. ask me what's 1+1—" "whats 1+1?" "—and i might just answer double dutch icecream or something. get it? because double dutch is vanilla plus chocolate? haha?"

a wry grin slides to his face, "well, in a way that is technically correct." "yeah sure maybe, but it isn't what i need and my brain feels like melted ice cream right now." a matching grin to fit his makes its way to your face, albeit much more sarcastic.

"...if you'd like, i can help you out?" "...huh? wait, really?" "of course, why not? i have no reason not to! and besides, it's you."

and you find yourself truly believing him, probably the first thing you've actually cohesively understood in the past hour or so of trying to learn this new lesson (keyword: trying). he winks lightly, and you find your sarcastic smile turning sincere.

"you sure?" "well if you're not going to believe me, i can just prove it to you! scoot over a bit, will you?" "no i mean! i believe you—just, well... thank you. really." "no problem."

his eyes seem to twinkle as he stands up and makes his way to your side, and oh my gosh for the first time in an hour, your brain seems to properly work! but not in the way you were, ahem, really hoping for—though this is pleasantly welcomed as well.

"staring at my lips, are you?" "oh yeah? and what if i am?"

you retort a bit too quick, and a bit too telling of your real feelings that you are desperately trying to hide (but not really). he doesn't do anything to help you in all honesty, merely pressing his lips to your forehead as you murmur "you missed my lips.", feeling rather embarrassed.

he leans back against his seat, a teasing smile on his face that swiftly contorts into a serious look. "ahem! please play attention to the lesson and not to your handsome instructor for the day—"

you try open your mouth to retaliate, but he merely puts up a hand and makes a 'hup!' noise, eyebrows raised as a sign to 'hey, don't talk while i'm talking.'

and so you let him, pouting as you slide back in your seat groaning slightly, "—we will be focusing on the lesson... but if it may help in your concentration,"

'geez, how am i even supposed to concentrate at all with that smirk on his face', you think.

"i'll treat you to kisses after this lesson! a little treat for a job well done—if you do well listening and paying attention to me, that is."

it's unbelievably unfair, and you narrow your eyes at him, watching his eyes flicker ever so lightly to where your lips are. so very incredibly unfair of him...

"...fine. but i expect a lot of kisses later. and hugs! and cuddles!" "yes, yes! all the kisses and hugs, for you."

kuroo definitely knows what he does to you, but as he watches you turn back to your desk and fix the mess you had made quickly, he can't help but smile and think that you definitely don't seem to know what you do to him.

but, it's alright. he'll just show you later, right? with lots of hugs and kisses, and maybe a cheesy romantic movie he'd love to watch with you. <3

(bonus: you ask him why he's smiling all of a sudden before he even starts the lesson, and he just smirks and kisses your cheek as a "motivator". you hear him whisper lightly "i believe in you", and it brings a smile on your face that somehow never leaves all throughout his teaching. you both are so smitten for each other.)

a/n ; my first haikyuu!! work posted !! for kuroo, as a late bday gift hehe <3 i hope i got his character well! 🙇‍♀️ it's been a while since i watched/read haikyuu 😞💔 another self-indulgent work of mine, bcs sometimes my brain just feels like. soup. noodles. melted ice cream. put all together and mashed by a smoothie into milk. 💀 but yes <33 hav gday everyone ! mwah ! 💗 ——— m.list.

— © astarriscus. please do not plagarize, steal, copy, repost, edit, translate, heavily reference, or profit from any of my works in any way !! . . . taglist ; answer this form or send in an ask to be added!

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potteresque-ire · 3 years

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More ask answer about Word of Honour (山河令, WoH) and the so-called “Dangai 101 phenomenon” under the cut ~ with all the M/M relationships shown on screen, does it mean improved acceptance / safety for the c-queer community?

Due to its length (sorry!), I’ve divided the answer into 3 parts: 1) Background 2) Excerpts from the op-eds 3) Thoughts This post is PART 1 ❤️. As usual, please consider the opinions expressed as your local friendly fandomer sharing what they’ve learned, and should, in no ways, be viewed as necessarily true. :)

(TW: homophobic, hateful speech quoted)

After WoH had started airing, I had waited for one of China’s state-controlled media to publish opinion pieces about the show. Specifically, I’d like to know ~ what is the administration’s current take on Dangai (耽改), as a genre? How does it characterise the closeness of the same-sex leads—the closeness that is suppressed when the original IP, of the genre Danmei (耽美) was converted for visual media presentation?

This is important, as China is a country where the government’s attitude becomes the official public attitude. The state opinion pieces will be quoted and parroted, especially if they come from heavy-weight sources (state-controlled media also have their importance/influence hierarchy). Production of the upcoming Dangai dramas will adjust their scripts accordingly. Marketing tactics will also adjust, make sure it doesn’t spread “the wrong message”; Dangai and Danmei dramas have both been pulled off shelves during or immediately after its airing before (Addicted 上癮 and Guardian 鎮魂, respectively), despite having already passing the censorship board.

If a heavy-weight state opinion piece pans the one-lead-fawning-over-the-other scenes in WoH (there are a few of them), for example, scenes / lines of such suggestive nature will likely disappear from the upcoming Dangai dramas for at least a year or two. If the critique spills over to a harsh stance against the presence of queers in Chinese media, all future Dangai dramas can become strict “socialist-brotherhood” stories, their “no homo” message reinforced by, for example, by inserting a female lead (or changing one of the leads to female).

Whether the official public opinion equates the true public opinion or not, public behaviour in China is quickly driven by the official public opinion. Example: the Xi regime’s conservative stance on queer issues has already translated to a quick deterioration of queer tolerance in China; open expressions that were tolerated, even welcomed, just several years ago are now met with significant hostility in the public.

This is a reflection of the nature of their government. A quick thought experiment may explain this. Take … jaywalking. It’s probably fair to say we’ve all committed this “crime” before?

Will you still jaywalk if your government declares it immoral to do so? Where I am, in the United States, the answer is definitely a no. The public will probably laugh at (and make memes about) the poor official who made the declaration, kindly ask the government to do something useful for once (f*** off), and keep jaywalking.

Now, what if the declaration comes with a law that includes a one-year prison term + lifelong criminal record for jaywalking? Let’s say this law is fully executable and irreversible, given this being a thought experiment—nothing you, or the public, can say or do can contest it.

Will you still jaywalk, even if you disagree with government’s stance that the act is immoral? You’ve got a neighbour who continues to defy the law. Will you think twice before letting your young loved ones go out with them?

Very soon, jaywalking becomes “bad”—even though such “badness” had little moral basis at its origin. It is bad because the government has “characterised” it to be so—an authoritarian government that doesn’t allow challenge of the characterisation.

The retention of queer elements in Dangai is the jaywalking in the example. The Chinese government stepping in to characterise (定性) an event, a phenomenon etc is common, and the people know the drill well that they fall in line quickly.

If a powerful state-controlled media publish a negative opinion piece on the queer elements in Dangai / Danmei, therefore, those elements can disappear overnight.

My question had been: will the state do it? The Xi regime has made its distaste for LGBT+ representation in visual media abundantly clear with its NRTA directives. However, while the Chinese government typically puts ideology (意識型態) as its Guiding Principle, exceptions have always been made for one reason. One word.

Money.

TU is a legendary financial success story every production company (Tencent itself included) wants to replicate. As a result, there are ~ 60 Danmei IPs (book canon) with their copyright sold for Dangai dramas; this long line of Danmei dramas in the horizon has been nicknamed “Dangai 101”, after the name of the show “Produce 101” Dd was dance instructor in. These dramas are all competing to be the next TU by profit.

Adoration from fans is nice, but money is what matters.

C-ent is currently in a financial bleak winter. The anti-corruption, anti-tax-fraud campaign started by the Xi regime in 2018, which cumulated to a sudden (and unofficial) collection of 3 years of back-taxes from studios and stars, has drained a significant amount of its capital; the number of new TV dramas being filmed fell 45% between 2018 and 2019, and production companies have been closing by the tens of thousands. The tightening of censorship rules also means production is associated with more risk. The commercial sector outside c-ent is also eager for replications of TU’s success—they need more “top traffic” (頂流) idols like Gg and Dd whose fans are sufficiently devoted to drive the sales of their products. Such “fan economy” would benefit the government, even if it doesn’t have direct stakes in the companies in and outside c-ent. People’s Daily, the Official State Newspaper, previously published a positive opinion piece on fan economy in 2019, estimating its worth at 90 billion RMB (~13.7 billion USD) per year.

But if the state allows the queer elements in Dangai’s to pass the censorship board (NRTA) for profit, how can it do so with the current “No homo” directive in place? From previous experience (scarce as it may be), the queerness has to be sufficiently obvious for the shows to make the profit everyone is wishing for. Dangai dramas in which the leads’ romantic relationship remains subtle have not sold the way TU does, even if they are well-reviewed and feature famous, skilled actors (as Winter Begonia 鬓边不是海棠红 last year.)

NRTA, and the government behind it, can’t just say I’m turning a blind eye to the flirting and touching for the money. What can it say then?

Here’s what I’d thought—what it can say, or do, is to “characterise” these Dangai dramas in a way that leave out its queerness. It did so for TU. TU’s review by the overseas version of People’s Daily devoted a grand total of two characters to describe WWX and LWJ’s relationship—摯友 (“close friend”). The rest of the article was devoted to the drama’s aesthetics, its cultural roots. (The title of the article: 《陳情令》：書寫國風之美 Chen Qing Ling: Writing the Beauty of National Customs).

How could it do that? The State’s power ensuring few questioning voices aside, I’ve been also thinking about the history and definition of Danmei (耽美)—Dangai’s parent genre as the causes. Based on the history and definition, I can think of 3 ways the queer elements in Danmei (耽美) can be characterised by the state, 2 of which provide it with the wiggle room, the movable goalposts it needs should it choose to want to overlook the queerness in Dangai.

The 3 characterisations I’ve thought of, based on the history and definition of Danmei (耽美) are:

1) The queer characterisation, which focuses on its homoerotic element. * Summary of the characterization: Danmei is gay.

2) The “traditional BL” characterisation, which focuses on BL’s historic origin as a “by women, for women” genre. The M/M setup is viewed as an escapist protest against the patriarchy, a rejection of traditional gender roles; displays of M/M closeness are often “candies” for the female gaze. * Summary of the characterization: Danmei is women’s fantasy.

3) The aesthetic characterisation, which focuses on beauty—from the beauty of the characters, the beauty of a world without harm to the romance. * Summary for the characterization: Danmei is pretty.

The queer characterisation (1) is well-understood, and likely the default characterisation if it is to be made by the fraction of i-fandom I’m familiar with. Most i-fans I’ve met, myself included, would likely and automatically associate the M/M relationships in The Untamed (TU) and WoH with queerness.

The “traditional BL” characterisation (2), meanwhile, equates Danmei with BL as the genre of homoerotic works developed in 1970’s Japan for women comic readers, and has been widely interpreted from a feminist point of view.

Under such interpretation of “traditional BL” works, the double male lead setup wasn’t meant to be an accurate depiction of homosexuality. It wasn’t about homosexuality at all. Rather, it was about the removal of women and along with it, the rage, the eye-rolling, the unease women readers had often felt when attempting to interact with mainstream romance novels of the time, in which the female leads had mostly been confined to traditional women roles, and their virtue, their traditional feminine traits.

The M/M setup therefore acted as a “shell” for a het relationship that allowed removal of such social constraints placed on women. The lead with whom the woman audience identified was no longer bound to the traditional role of women, such as being the caregiver of the family. The lead could instead chase their dreams and roam the world, as many contemporary women already did or aspired to do; they were no longer limited to playing the passive party in life and in the relationship—and they enjoyed such freedom without risking the love, the respect the other male protagonist felt for them.

BL, in this traditional sense, has therefore been interpreted as an answer for, and a protest against the heteropatriarchal gender norm still dominant in societies deeply influenced by Confucianism, including Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, China. The M/M setup is, at heart, (het) women’s fantasy. The inclusion of two young-and-beautiful male leads also satisfy “the female gaze” ~ the popularity of BL among het women has therefore been compared to the popularity of lesbian porn among het men. In both cases, the audience is drawn not for the homosexual element but by the presence of double doses of sexual attraction.

(Please forgive me if any of my wording comes as disrespectful! I’m not used to talking about these topics.)

The availability of the “traditional BL” characterisation (2) is key to bypassing queerness as a topic in the discussions of Danmei (耽美).

The aesthetic characterisation (3) is very closely related to 2) in origin, but deserves its own point as a characterisation that can stand on its own, and may be more obscure to the English-speaking fandom given the common English translation of Danmei (耽美) as Boy’s Love.

Boy’s Love, as a name, amplifies the queer characterisation (1) and de-emphasises the aesthetic characterisation (3); Danmei (耽美), meanwhile, does the reverse.

Where does the name Danmei come from?

When BL was first developed in Japan, it used to have a now out-of-fashion genre name: Tanbi. Tanbi was borrowed from same name describing a late 19th century / early 20th century Japanese literary movement, known as Tanbi-ha and was inspired by Aestheticism in England. Aestheticism “centered around the doctrine that art exists for the sake of its beauty alone, and that it need serve no political, didactic, or other purpose”. Along the same line, the core belief of authors of Tanbi-ha was that art should celebrate beauty and reject the portrayal of ugliness in human nature, the darkness of reality:

…Tanbi writers argued that the ideas of naturalism writers such as “objectivism,” “truth is more important than beauty” and so on would “oppress human beings’ desire” so as to “lose beauty and human nature.” Accordingly, they insisted on “acute mental and emotional sensibility” [Ye, 2009].

(Source, with more details on Tanbi.)

Neither romance nor homosexuality were requirements for works in the original Tanbi-ha genre. BL borrowed the name Tanbi because its early authors saw their work created under the same principles: the emphasis on the beauty of their characters, their love (romantic and platonic), in a world that was also beautiful and untouched by ugliness such as sexism and homophobia.

The stubborn persistence on keeping one’s eyes trained on the beautiful, the willingness to turn a blind eye to reality for the sake of the beauty is built-in in the genre’s name. Tanbi meant more than beauty, aesthetics; its kanji form was written as 耽美; 耽 = to sink, drown in, to over-indulge in; 美 = beauty.

Tanbi, therefore, literally means to drown in, to over-indulge in beauty.

Over time, as the genre expanded its writing style, Tanbi eventually fell out of favour as BL’s genre name in Japan. However, as it gained popularity in the Sinosphere in the 1990s, starting with Taiwan and Hong Kong, the kanji of Tanbi was retained as the Chinese name of the genre.

In Mandarin Chinese, 耽美 is pronounced Danmei. A hyperfocus on the aesthetics, the utopian aspects of traditional BL is therefore retained in Danmei by its name. People’s Daily could therefore devote its review of TU on its aesthetics. Realism, including politics and all discussions of social issues, can therefore be swept aside in the name of respecting the genre’s tradition.

I’ve mostly been reading about and observing c-fandom, and I believe these 3 characterisations have all attracted its own kind of fans. Fans who care and talk about queer issues even when it isn’t encouraged by their sociopolitical environment, who shine a light upon these issues in their fan works. Fans who treat the M/M leads as if they were a traditional cishet couple, such as calling one of the leads 老婆 (wife) and assigning him biologically female functions when needed (via, for example, the ABO trope). Fans who insist the works must meet their beauty standards, rejecting those that fail (for example, if the leads are not good looking enough) by claiming they’re there for Danmei, not Danchou (耽醜, “over-indulgence on ugliness”). Fans who are drawn to the genre by a combination of these characterisations.

By the history and definition of the genre, all the above reasons for fanning Danmei are as valid, as legitimate as one another.

I thought about this related question then: are c-fans of the second (traditional BL characterisation) and third (aesthetic characterisation) groups homophobic? When I first asked this question, I—a fan whose fandom experience had been entirely in English-speaking communities—assume the answer was yes. I thought, in particular, the insistence of treating Danmei’s M/M couples as cishet couples in a homosexual shell had to be conscious queer erasure. How can anyone ignore the same-sexness of the leads? How can anyone talk about Danmei without associating it with homosexuality?

However, as I read more—again, specifically about c-fandom, and in Chinese—I realised the answer may be a little more complex.

Previously, I had largely thought about homophobia in terms of individual attitudes. This has to do with my current environment (liberal parts of the United States), in which the choice to accept or reject the queer community has become a close to personal choice. Pride flags fly all over the city, including the city hall, every summer, and most churches welcome the LGBT+ community. I hadn’t considered how an environment in which queers have never enjoyed full social exposure, in which education of related topics is sorely lacking, would affect Danmei’s development as a genre.

In such an environment, it is difficult for Danmei to evolve and incorporate up-to-date understanding of RL queerness.

The consequence I can see is this: Danmei is more likely to be “stuck” in its historical characterisation as (het) women’s fantasy inside than outside the Great Firewall, with its queerness de-emphasised if not erased—and it draws fans who are attracted to this kind of characterisation accordingly. This is, perhaps, reflected by the fact that the (het) women-to-queer ratio of Danmei / BL fans is significantly higher in China than in the West (Table 1 in this article summarises how Danmei / BL fans have split between different genders and sexual orientation in the Sinosphere vs the West in different research studies).

Another driving force I can see for Danmei to retain BL’s traditional feminist and aesthetic characterisations: women in China are not free from the social pressure that led to the birth of BL in 1970’s Japan. While many of them have achieved financial freedom through work and have high education, the young and educated have been subjected to immense pressure to get married and have children especially in the past decade.

In 2007, the China’s state feminist agency, the All-China Women’s Federation (中華全國婦女聯合會), coined the term 剩女 (literally, “leftover women”) for unmarried, urban women over 27 years old. The government started a campaign that, among other things, associated women’s education level with ugliness, and their unmarried status with pickiness, moral degeneracy. The reason behind the campaign: birth rates are plummeting and the state wants educated women, in particular, to nurture a high quality, next generation workforce. More importantly, the government sees a threat in the M/F sex imbalance (high M, low F) that has commonly been attributed to the country’s “one child policy” between 1979-2015, which encouraged female infanticide / abortion of female foetuses in a culture that favours surname-carrying boys. The state fears the unmarried men will become violent and/or gay, leading to “social instability and insecurity”. Therefore, it wants all women, in particular those who are educated, to enter the “wife pool” for these unmarried men. (Source 1, Source 2: Source 2 is a short, recommended read).

For Chinese women, therefore, patriarchy and sexism is far from over. Escapist fantasies where sexism is removed—by removing women from the picture—are therefore here to stay.

Danmei is therefore not queer literature (同志文學). The difference between Danmei and queer literature is highlighted by this reportedly popular saying (and its similar variations) in some Danmei communities:

異性戀只是傳宗接代，同性戀才是真愛 Heterosexuality is only for reproduction. Only homosexuality is true love.

The attitude towards heterosexuality is one of distaste, viewed as a means to an end the speaker has no interest in. On the contrary, homosexuality is idealised, reflecting the disregard / lack of understanding of some Danmei fans have towards the RL hardships of c-queers. The ignorance may be further propagated by gate-keeping by some Danmei fans for safety reasons, keeping queer discussions away from their communities for fear that their favourite hangouts would meet the same uncertain fate of other communities that previously held open queer discussions, such as the Weibo gay and lesbian supertopics. Such gatekeeping can, again, be easily enforced using tradition as argument: the beauty 美 is Tanbi and Danmei (耽美), remember, includes the beauty of utopia, where ugly truths such as discrimination do not enter the picture. A Danmei that explores, for example, the difficulty of coming out of the closet is no longer Danmei, by its historical, aesthetic definition.

[I’ve therefore read about c-queers viewing Danmei with suspicion, if not downright hostility; they believe the genre, by ignoring their RL challenges and casting them as beautiful, even perfect individuals, and in some cases, by fetishising them and their relationships, only leads to more misconceptions about the queer community. Dangai, meanwhile, has been viewed with even more distaste as potential weapons by the state to keep gays in the closet; if the government can shove the Danmei characters into the “socialist brotherhood” closet, it can shove them as well.

I haven’t yet, however, been able to tease out the approximate fraction of c-queers whose views of Danmei and Dangai is negative. The opposing, positive view of the genres is this: they still provide LGBT+ visibility, which is better than none and it would’ve been close to none without Danmei and Dangai; while Danmei may skim over the hardships of being queer, fan works of Danmei are free to explore them—and they have.

This article provides insights on this issue. @peekbackstage’s conversation with a Chinese film/TV director in Clubhouse is also well worth a read.]

That said, Danmei can only be dissociated from the queer characterisation if there’s a way to talk about the genre without evoking words and phrases that suggest homosexuality—something that is difficult to do with English. Is there?

In Chinese, I’d venture to say … almost. There’s almost a way. Close enough to pass.

The fact that M/M in traditional BL has been developed and viewed not as queer but as a removal of F also means this: queerness isn’t “built-in” into the language of Danmei. The name Danmei itself already bypasses a major “queer checkpoint”: it’s impossible to refer to a genre called Boy’s Love and not think about homosexuality.

Here’s one more important example of such bypass. Please let me, as an excuse to put these beautiful smiles in my blog, show this classic moment from TU; this can be any gif in which the leads are performing such suggestive romantic gestures:

How can I describe this succinctly? In English?

Two men acting in love? Er. That’s… the definition of gay, almost.

Two men acting gay? Well. GAY.

Right. Fine. Let’s go negative. Queerbaiting? … Still gay, because the word “queer” is in there.

[Pie note: for the record, I don’t think TU or WoH is queer-baiting.]

Personally, I find it impossible to describe the GIF above in English that I do not automatically associate with RL romantic love between two men, with homosexuality. But can I do it in Chinese?

… Yes.

There’s a term, 賣腐 (pronounced “maifu”), literally, “selling 賣 the rot 腐”, derived from the term known among i-fans as fujoshi and written, in kanji, as 腐女. Fujoshi, or 腐 (“rot”) 女 (“women”), describes the largely (het) female audience of the Japanese BL genre (>80%, according to Wikipedia). Originated as a misogynistic insult towards female Japanese BL fans in the 2000s, fujoshi was later reclaimed by the same female BL fans who now use the self-depreciative term as acknowledgement of their interest being “rotten”, for BL’s disregard of the society’s traditional expectations on women.

賣腐 is therefore to “sell the rot” to the rotten women; ie. the suggestive romantic gestures, exemplified by the GIF above, between the M/M leads are catering, performing fan service to their target audience.

[賣腐 is also a term one will see in the state opinion pieces.]

There’s nothing gay about this term.

I’ve therefore found it possible to talk and think in Chinese about Danmei while giving little thought to queerness. The history and definition of Danmei allow that.

Again, I’m not saying any of this to excuse homophobia among in Danmei and Dangai fandoms. The point I’m trying to make is this — given that Danmei has three potential characterisations, two of which can be discussed without abundantly evoking queer concepts and vocabularies, given that history of Danmei, as a genre, already favoured characterisation 2 (traditional BL), the government addressing homosexuality in its opinions on Danmei and Dangai is far from a given.

By extension, the popularity of Dangai may mean a lot or little to c-queers; by extension, the state can approve / disapprove of Danmei and Dangai in a manner independent of its stance on homosexuality, which is itself inconsistent and at times, logic-deying (example to come…).

This is both good and bad, from the perspective of both the government and the c-queer community.

For the government: as discussed, the “triality” of Danmei allows the state to “move the goalpost” depending on what it tries to achieve. It has characterisations 2 (the traditional BL characterisation) and 3 (the aesthetic characterisation) as excuses to let Dangai dramas pass the censorship board should it want their profit and also, their promise of expanding the country’s soft power overseas by drawing an international audience. These characterisations also allow the state to throw cold water on the popularity of Danmei / Dangai should it desire, for reasons other than its queer suggestions—despite the Xi regime’s push against open expressions of queerness (including by activism, in media), it has also been careful about not demonising c-queers in words, and has countered other people’s attempts to do so.

Why may the government want to throw cold water on Danmei and Dangai? They are still subculture, which the state has also viewed with suspicion. In 2018, a NRTA directive explicitly requested that “c-ent programmes should not use entertainers with tattoos; (those associated with) hip-hop culture, sub-cultures (non-mainstream cultures), decadent cultures.” (”另外，总局明确要求节目中纹身艺人、嘻哈文化、亚文化（非主流文化）、丧文化（颓废文化）不用。”).

Subculture isn’t “core socialist values”. More importantly, it’s difficult to keep up with and control subculture. 環球網, the website co-owned by People’s Daily and Global Times (環球時報), ie, The State Newspaper and The State Tabloid, famously said this on its Weibo, on 2020/03/04, re: 227:

老了，没看懂为什么战。晚安。 Getting old. Can’t figure out what the war is about. Good night.

The State also cannot stop subculture from happening. It doesn’t have the resources to quell every single thing that become popular among its population of 1.4 billion. What it can do to make sure these subcultures stay subcultures, kept out of sight and mind of the general public.

Characterisation 1 (the queer characterisation), meanwhile, remains available to the state should it wish to drop the axe on Dangai for its queer elements. I’m including, as “queer elements”, presentation of men as too “feminine” for the state—which has remained a sore point for the government. This axe have a reason to drop in the upcoming months: July 23rd, 2021 will be the 100th birthday of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), and the state may desire to have only uniformed forces and muscled, gun-toting “masculine” men gracing the screens.

What about for c-queers and their supporters (including group I fans)? What good and bad can the multiple characterisations of the genres do for them?

For c-queers and their supporters (including group I fans), their acceptance and safety are helped by the Dangai genre, by the Dangai 101 phenomenon, if and only if the state both characterises the queer elements in these dramas as queer (characterisation 1) AND their opinions of them are positive.

Personally, I had viewed this to be unlikely from the start, because a queer characterisation would mean the censorship board has failed to do its job, which is embarrassing for the Chinese government.

Characterisations 2) and 3) are not bad for c-queers and their supporters, however, and definitely not “enemies” of Characterisation 1); they can not only serve as covers for the queer elements in Dangai to reach their audience, but also, they can act as protective padding for the LGBT+ community if the content or (very aggressive) marketing of the Dangai dramas displease the government — with the understanding, again, that the “traditional BL” arm of the Danmei community is itself also highly vulnerable by being a subculture, and so its padding effect is limited and it also deserves protection.

The downside to achieving LGBT+ visibility through Dangai is, of course and as mentioned, that these dramas are, ultimately, deeply unrealistic depictions of the c-queers. The promotion of these dramas, which has focused on physical interactions between the male leads for “candies”, can encourage even more fetishising of queers and queer relationships. The associated (character) CP culture that makes and breaks CPs based on the dramas’ airing cycle may also fuel negative perception of queer relationships as attention-seeking behaviour, something that can be initiated and terminated at will and for the right price.

Finally, with all this said, which characterisation(s) have the government taken re: Dangai and/or WOH? And what opinions has it given to its characterisations?

PART 1 <-- YOU ARE HERE PART 2 PART 3

#pie metas #yizhan #bjyx

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baku-bowl · 3 years

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broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3

fair warning, most of these are wips.

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Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178

Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up

[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.

Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder

[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]

When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.

[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]

hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.

The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude

Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.

Whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:

Hero society needs to change.

Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known

guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*

I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.

fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.

Lock and Key by autochorystalize

Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.

“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.

- - -

A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.

It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.

- - - - - - - - -

Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.

remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart.

be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.

Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang

"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.

However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."

Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.

But should he?

y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.

Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.

Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.

classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.

Slope by sunfleurmoon

“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.

And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”

Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.

paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.

Ground Zero by WindsChild8178

In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.

honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.

The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee

"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?"

Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.

(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)

a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.

A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem

Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.

sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.

Our Hero by AnonymousTwit

He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.

And then he was free falling.

After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.

just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).

Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne

For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.

A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.

am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.

Liability by sandelf

After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.

But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.

very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.

Special Mentions:

How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright

Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.

this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.

#fic rec #katsuki bakugou #bakugou #seriously though if you have a rec for me please always assume i will be unbearably grateful for it #and hit me up with it in the comments or through messaging #thanks for the follows y'all!

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divinefireangel · 3 years

Text

SF9 comforting their sad S/O will include:

SF9 x GN! Reader mini headcanons.

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: Ya girl is sad. She's had two continuous shitty days and wanted to feel a lil comforted. Classes are taking a toll on me so do enjoy this piece I wrote in like 2 hours because I finally got time😭. It's probably bad 💀💀

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: All ages and all readers (nothing specified with respect to gender, appearance, etc of reader).

Youngbin

He would want to find out who or what made you sad at first. If it's an actual person, they are doomed because he's gonna get angry

You remember that time on a JaeBin Vlive when a fan mentioned that their boyfriend cheated on them? Yeah kinda like that

Will definitely give great advice while hugging you

Pets your hair

Gives you a head massage if you have a headache due to all the crying

Forces you to take a nap

He's gonna be like a bright and positive mirror of sorts, showing you the nicer outlook on things and your problems, helping you change your perspective to a healthier one

Inseong

The first thing he does probably is a sad pout because his baby is sad 🥺

Embraces you in his arms, makes you feel small and protected for some reason I always forget that's he's one of the tall ones

He talks to you till you calm down and are ready to talk

Even if you aren't sure you want to talk about the problem, he will go on till you are comfortable and ready

Makes you a hot beverage of choice

Cuddles you to sleep.

No really. He doesn't move. Doesn't let you move.

You just accept defeat and fall asleep while laying on top of him

Jaeyoon

He would like to establish a small physical touch first and foremost

Will take your tiny hand in his and rubs his thumb over your knuckles

Kinda like testing waters, to see if it's okay for him to hug you and carry you to bed

Once he gets a positive reaction to his action, he become protective boyfriend 101

Looks at you with big curious eyes

Offers you soft smiles when you look at him

Kisses your face sweetly while squishing your cheeks

Starts humming a soft tune, like a lullaby to soothe your mental pain

Will cry if you cry

Sanghyuk

You don't even have to be visibly upset for him to know something is wrong

Makes the stupidest jokes ever lol

Prays with everything that those will work

If they don't, no worries

He sets up an impromptu mini date on the terrace

Goes all out to make you smile

If you wanna talk, he's all ears and listens to every detail as though his life depends on it

Once all your feelings are out of your system, he gently guides you to your feet

Takes your hands and puts them around his body and hugs you while dancing side to side

Seokwoo

Our fav tall baby boy

What will he not do if you're sad

Picks you up like a child

Holds you close to his body

Cooks you something sweet

Puts on your fav show or movie

Great at providing distractions

Sings you to comfort

No matter what happened, he assures you that it won't happen again, and even if does happen he'll be there to remind you about how you've overcome this situation already once and that you have the strength to endure it again

Juho

His face becomes so small when he sees you sad omg

Pouts and walks over to you to hold you against him

Hides your head in his chest

If you're laying on the couch then he hugs you lika a koala on a stick

Beckons his cute cats over to cuddle with you both

They rub themselves against your bodies this feeling is so serotonin filling

Kisses the apple of your cheek a lot

Back rubs and belly rubs to have any form of touch

Plays with your hair and fingers till you slip into slumber

He'll slowly and carefully slip out of you and cooks you something so that when you wake up, you can eat your tummy full

Yoo Taeyang

This gif omg

Our lovely sunshine

All he's gotta do is give you his sunshine smile and you're done for

But sunshine's a lil cloudy because the star he revolves around is upset :(

Pouty baby but he's ready to fight, if necessary

Rubs you tears away for you 🥺

Takes you on a lovely stroll in the park, hand in hand, swinging back and forth

Picks up pretty flowers for you

If you don't feel like going out, he will sway with you in your living room to soft music

Hums along with the music while his sky becomes less cloudy :)

Youngkyun

Opens his arms wide open for you to run up to him forgetting all your worries

Hugs you tight enough to block the air flow of your lungs

Caresses your cheeks and shoulders

Somehow, even I don't know how, convinced you to get ready to go outside

You go to a coffee shop, your favorite, first and then you go to his cat cafe

Once you find a comfortable spot there, he coerces you to cuddle him not caring what people think

Seeing you both so close to each other, the cats are naturally drawn to you both

Gives you great and deep life advice that he stole from Youngbin 💀

Kisses the side of your head soo many times there's probably a dent there now

Chanhee

Straight up asks you what you want him to do

He'll do anything for you

Even be nice and accept his hyungs' affections

If you have no answer, he will help you change into comfy clothes, make you tea, wrap you up in a blanket burrito like a newborn, sit behind you and help you drink the tea

Once you've consumed that, he will slowly start talking about his day, pausing after each significant event, waiting patiently for your input

Realizing that his voice is making you feel drowsy, he continues to talk to you about the randomest stuff until you enter a state of slumber in his warm embrace

#sf9 #sf9 x reader #sf9 headcanons #youngbin #inseong #jaeyoon #dawon #zuho #rowoon #yoo taeyang #hwiyoung #chani #sf9 fluff #sf9 reactions #sf9 scenarios #sf9 writings

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tsunonotarou · 4 years

Text

ALL OBEY ME! CHARACTERS

— reaction when people calls you “wh*re”

notes: Just some protective demons and angels and a human <3

: gender-neutral reader

THE DEMON BROTHERS

Okay so for some reason everyone had the time and actually agrees to go out together shopping etc

So after that, y’all went to a nearby coffee shop to relax and just talk

When y’all decided to go back, you walked past a table and heard someone muttering the w word

Mammon and Levi would instantly and I mean instantly smash their table down

“What did you just say?”

“Fucking say it again, normie.”

Lucifer would then pull them away

“Mammon, Levi, don’t resort to violence.”

Cue Satan coming in

“These kind of people don’t deserve your time. I mean, do you really want to waste your breath on them?”

“Wow! They’re so ugly! Both in and out! I can’t believe such disgusting thing actually exists! I’m truly surprised.”

Beel would actually stop eating the food he got earlier and narrow his eyes at them

“Don’t you dare say that to MC ever again.”

“Why don’t you go to sleep forever? Don’t wake up, seriously.”

After that they would accompany you out with Satan and Asmo talking shit about that person and Mammon and Levi would be all grr

Lucifer would smirk, proud of his brothers’ remarks

He’d then personally have a talk with them and give them a very serious warning

SIMEON

He’d have a frown, then walk towards them to have a talk

Telling them it’s not good to say those words to someone

He was so patient and kind to them that he made them truly felt sorry and guilty

They apologized to you later

Part of him was so angry and actually wanted to beat them up but we don’t talk about that

LUKE

Does not know what whore means

He’d walk past them while eyeing them weirdly + confusingly

If he knows what that means

Oh boy

He will grab their hair and won’t let go

“Apologize to MC! Apologize to MC!”

SOLOMON

His response would be very short but enough to get on their nerves/embarrass them

Them: Whore

Solomon: You?

Walks away with a smile while holding your hand, might give a wave to them too

DIAVOLO

To be honest I don’t think anyone would try to call you any names because you’re walking with the fucking demon prince

BUT if they do have the audacity to, Diavolo would not be happy

He’d instantly stop talking about his read of the book “Youthful fun 101”

Would call Barbotos and tells him to lock them up

Please they had to endure Barbotos’ smile about their stupidity to talk bad of the demon prince’s friend/lover all while being cuffed

BARBOTOS

This guy can see the future

So he’d already knew

Would order a coffee before y’all decided to go back

He made sure it’s the hell-like scorching hot one

Once they open their mouth to speak, he would splash the hot coffee at them without even looking

Might even be in the middle of a conversation with you too

Making you panic and confused

“Barbotos??!!”

#obey me!#obey me simeon x reader #obey me luke x reader #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me levi x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me beel x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmo x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphie x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me diavolo x reader #obey me barbotos x reader #obey me solomon x reader #obey me x reader

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barbiehandlrr · 3 years

Text

To Know

The first time Natasha has the thought, she’s seven years old.

The dress is stuffy; the collar feels like a weight around her neck and Mama scowls when Natasha reaches up to tug at it. “For God’s sake, bambina,” she sighs. “Can you give it a rest? You can take it off in a few hours. You know what your father will say if he catches you playing with it again.”

At seven years old, Natasha already knows many things. She can create circuit boards, mentally solve equations that send adults running for their calculators. Yes, she knows many things, but the first thing she ever learned? Howard Stark isn’t a good father. As far as she’s concerned, Jarvis is her father. Natasha knows better than to say all of that. Instead she allows her gaze to wander around the room, taking in the sights of all the other girls in dresses and the boys in their suits.

“I wish I could be a boy,” Natasha tells Mama. “They get to wear suits and I have to wear this dumb dress.”

Mama laughs, and Natasha’s heart soars, though she’s not quite sure why her mother is laughing. She doesn’t laugh much, but it’s one of Natasha’s favorite sounds. “Don’t be silly, sweetie,” Mama says, readjusting her hair bow. “You’re such a pretty little lady.”

Pretty little lady. The words leave Natasha feeling nauseous, and for the first time in a long time, she can’t figure out why.

At eight and a half years old, Natasha cuts her own hair. It’s short, a mop on her head, and when Mama shrieks that she looks like a boy and what have you done to your beautiful hair? Natasha grins in satisfaction. Jarvis fixes it and gives her a soft smile. Jarvis doesn’t care that Natasha prefers jeans and t-shirts over dresses, doesn’t care that she cut off her long, curly hair. He loves her just as she is.

When he takes her to the full length mirror to take a look, Natasha’s heart flutters happily and she can hardly contain the rush of excitement. Yeah, she thinks. This is right.

Natasha gets detention for refusing to wear a skirt when she’s eleven years old. Pants are more comfortable, she insists. The boys get to wear them!

Dad shouts at her over the phone, hisses that she’ll never be a boy. Natasha aches for the ground to swallow her up, drag her down to the endless void where she doesn’t have to be anything. The words rise in her throat, I’m not a girl, I’m not a girl! But they die as quickly as they rise. At eleven years old, Natasha knows many things. She’s in high school at eleven years old, nearly on her way to college coursework. Natasha doesn’t know how she knows this, but it’s the most important fact that resides in her brain.

Natasha Stark is not a girl.

Her body is wrong. When her voice should begin to deepen it remains high pitched, a soprano note that Jarvis and Ana gush over and that she wishes desperately did not exist. Her body begins to grow and change in ways that Ana had told her it would, but Natasha had just snorted and not paid attention to any of it. Her body begins to curve and her chest begins to grow and she bleeds. Natasha spends more time locked in her bedroom, absorbed in her robots so that no one can look at her and her horrible body. Her dainty, feminine, wrong body.

Jarvis and Ana whisper about her. They’re worried. Whenever they ask her about it, Natasha comes up with an excuse. I miss Mama and wish she would come home. Dad was being a jerk again.

Rich families are cutthroat. If Natasha doesn’t conform, behave exactly how they all want her to, she’ll be an outcast. She’ll be sent away to one of those horrible camps a girl at school was talking about and Dad would make Jarvis and Ana stop talking to her.

Keeping Jarvis and Ana was almost worth all of the wrongness.

Almost.

That same year, Natasha comes across the word transgender in a book she’s reading. It’s not often that she has to look something up. On a Thursday afternoon, after days of contemplation, she makes the trek down to her school’s library. The other students giggle when they spot her, Natasha the freak, and she sneers at them before turning to the card catalog. It takes what feels like hours to find what she’s looking for. LGBT 306.76. She follows the numbers, dives deep into the nonfiction section and frowns. It’s a small section, but she’ll make do. There she spots a book, She's not there : a life in two genders. Natasha pulls it off the shelf, reads about this person who everyone assumes to be a girl but really is a boy. There he defines the word Natasha saw, the word transgender: a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.

It comes in waves, the realizations and relief and all of it. Everyone around her thinks that Natasha’s a girl, but something inside of her screams wrong! That’s wrong! She’s never had a word for it. And there are more people just like her? Natasha takes the book to a table and reads feverishly, taking notes.

She’ll never be able to do anything about it, but the more she reads, the more Natasha’s convinced of it. She’s transgender. Not wrong or horrible or broken.

Transgender. Natasha has more research to do.

She’s thirteen and alone in her room, staring at herself in the mirror. Mama says that she’s turning into a beautiful young woman, albeit not as proper as she would like. The last bit is always said with a tiny smile, so Natasha knows that Mama is joking. Mostly. And dear old Dad? Well, that bastard isn’t even around, so what does he know?

The bruises on her ribs scream in agony, but Natasha swallows down a hiss of pain. Howard isn’t here, but she refuses to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he could break her someday. She may be broken, but at least she has Jarvis and Ana.

Jarvis and Ana, who teach her how to cook. Jarvis and Ana who don’t hit or shout when she burns banana bread and nearly starts a fire, who laugh with her and choose her.

Ana bought her these clothes, these jeans and a black t-shirt that’s just a bit too big on her petite frame and brand new Chuck Taylors. Alone in her bedroom, Natasha pulls her hair back grinning at the sight in front of her. She doesn’t see Natasha, or a pretty little lady or a proper young woman. The image in front of her is young, and a bit too earnest, and dammit, Natasha, why are you crying?

The image in front of her is a boy. He looks about two years younger than her, but she can work with it. Weak, fragile Natasha is gone. In her place stands a boy, an exuberant, funny, genius of a boy. The boy and Natasha reach out; their fingers touch, and Natasha feels more at home than she has since she was eight and a half, her waist-length hair clumps on the floor.

Natasha knows what her name should have been. Mama told her years and years ago, and it felt like it was hers. Anthony. Anthony Edward Stark. “Anthony.” Natasha whispers the name, crossing that line at last. After this there’s no going back. No more Natasha and dresses and bows and heels and skirts. There will only be Anthony and his jeans and t-shirts and sneakers, Anthony and his deep voice and his rightness.

Anthony moves his fingers away from the mirror, lets go of his long hair and the illusion shatters. In front of him stands a girl, a weak, broken girl in boy’s clothing. Who is he thinking? He can’t be Anthony. His mother would never speak to him again; Howard would toss him out on the streets. He’d be all alone. He wouldn’t even have Jarvis and Ana.

He’ll call himself Anthony, he decides. Or maybe even Tony. Anthony’s too posh, too formal, everything Howard loves and all things he hates. Yes, Tony. Tony sounds good, sounds right. He’ll answer to Natasha and wear the frilly dresses and play the part of a nice young woman. The thought sends waves of nausea so fierce that his knees buckle, but Tony can do it. He’s going off to MIT next year. Just one more year and he can be free.

Tony doesn’t last a year. Before his fourteenth birthday he’s in jeans and t-shirts, long hair pulled into a ponytail or braid. Howard hates it, tells him he looks like a rat and a slob, but what does he know? Mama’s away on longer and longer trips, which means longer stretches where he doesn’t have to wear those horrible dresses. Everyone still calls him Natasha, and he bites back a snarl and an My fucking name is Tony every time, but he manages. The masculine clothes don’t ease all of it, but they help.

MIT is a godsend. For the first time in his life, Tony is free to create his robots, live out from under Howard’s thumb, and finally be himself. The media hounds him, but for the first time in his life Tony doesn’t care. He cuts his hair again and rumors about him being a butch lesbian circulate and he just laughs. If only they knew.

There is just one thing wrong, other than himself. He’s younger than everyone else, smarter and he doesn’t know when to shut up. It’s nothing that Tony isn’t used to. He survived boarding school, and he’ll survive this too.

Then he meets Rhodey.

At first, they’re Jim and Natasha. Jim is older than Tony by two years, but they’re in the same year. They share the same general education class, Sociology 101, and they get paired together for a project. They both have single dorms, but two months later, Tony has practically moved into his room.

Jim is now Rhodey, but Tony is still Natasha. He yearns to tell him, stops and starts, the words dying in his throat. In a short amount of time, Tony’s become attached and anyone to whom he attaches himself winds up leaving. Tony’s too loud, too smart, he stays up too late and hyperfocuses on his robots. Rhodey doesn’t care about all of that, but Rhodey will definitely care if Tony tells him I’m not a girl, don’t call me Natasha, please call me Tony. Tony can practically see Rhodey recoil in disgust, shove him away and kick him out of his dorm.

Tony can’t, won’t, risk that.

Howard pays for an off campus apartment next year. Tony and Rhodey live in their own apartment, almost in their own little world. Howard doesn’t know that Rhodey’s living with him. Tony had mentioned it, but Howard had just grunted, not even paying attention.

It’s better that way.

Tony only binds his chest when Rhodey isn’t home. He knows he’s not supposed to wrap with ace bandages, but he has nothing else and he’s desperate. What he doesn’t count on his Rhodey coming home early, seeing Tony in the living room with nothing but his jeans and an ace bandage binding his breasts.

For a long moment, they just stare at each other, neither speaking. Then Rhodey opens his mouth and Tony bolts, locking his bedroom door behind him.

Goddammit.

Tony waits anxiously for a few days, almost begging Rhodey to say something and get the conversation over with, but he never does. Rhodey is good like that. Everyone else thinks Tony is weird, but Rhodey loves him for who he is, not in spite of it as so many people think. That much Tony knows to be true. But if Rhodey knew this about him, then Rhodey wouldn’t love him anymore.

Rhodey is everything. He’s friendship and love, late nights and delirious mornings, comfort and safety, and Tony aches desperately to hold onto him. They sit together in the living room, Rhodey doing homework and Tony fiddling with DUM-E’s arm. Rhodey is calm, but Tony is so tense that he can hardly stand it, and before he knows it the words, “Why won’t you call me a freak?” slip from his mouth. Rhodey looks up at him in surprise and Tony continues. “You walked in on me and you haven’t said a word! Go on! Call me disgusting! Call me a freak! Just get it over with. Dammit, Jim, why can’t you just get it over with and stop stringing me along?”

Rhodey sighs and shoves his textbook away. “I haven’t said anything because I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

“Bullshit,” Tony hisses. “I’m a fucking freak and you know it! Everyone else already thinks it, so go on, have at it. Tell me something I don’t fucking know.”

Rhodey raises an eyebrow. “Are you done?” Tony’s face flushes with rage, but before he can retort, Rhodey’s up and crossing the room, standing right in front of him. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think it was a big deal. Nat, you stay up for three days at a time. You leave circuit boards and wires all over and forget to do your laundry. You’re loud and funny and one of the kindest people I know. This? The, what is it called, binding? It’s not even the weirdest or worst thing I’ve caught you doing.”

Tony deflates and stares at his friend for a moment. It’s not often that he’s speechless, and judging by Rhodey’s smirk, he must be thinking the same thing. “I guess you’re right,” he says slowly. “You really don’t think it’s weird?”

“Cross my heart.”

Rhodey doesn’t think he’s weird. Rhodey doesn’t want to toss him away, discard and abandon him like the trash so many other people believe he is. Tony doesn’t deserve Rhodey, doesn’t deserve his kindness, love, or friendship. But with Rhodey, he feels the safest. If Rhodey doesn’t think he’s weird for binding, maybe he won’t care about the other stuff? Tony’s heart hammers in his chest, his palms sweat and he sits on the floor. Rhodey sits across from him, reaches out and squeezes his hand.

“Rhodey, I have to tell you something.”

Rhodey waits patiently while Tony collects himself. Tony’s never said the words out loud before. Saying them feels like the end of a chapter, one more piece of Natasha gone. The idea of saying goodbye to Natasha is exciting, exhilarating, freeing. Tony takes a deep breath and looks into Rhodey’s eyes.

“I’m transgender.”

** Rhodey has questions, of course, he does, but he holds onto Tony tightly as he explains everything. How he never felt like a girl, how he doesn’t know how he knows, but he knows that he’s a boy. He’s a boy and he wants to die every time someone calls him Natasha, how he wants to burn every dress and makeup palette he owns, how he feels like himself in masculine jeans and t-shirts and suits.

And then Rhodey does something that shocks him. It’s a question. A simple one, really.

“What’s your name?”

And for the first time he gets to respond, “My name is Tony.” Everything falls into place, and Tony sighs, leaning into his friend. Rhodey pulls him all the closer and Tony affirms, “My name is Tony.”

“Okay, Tony,” Rhodey says with a wide grin. “It’s nice to meet you.”

A few days later, Tony unlocks the door to the apartment and kicks off his shoes. Midterms suck, and he thinks he might actually eat dinner and go to bed early tonight. He stumbles into the kitchen, eyebrows raising curiously at the package on the table. There’s a note on top of the brown wrapping.

Tones,

Sorry if this is weird, but I just wanted to do something for you. I did research and everything says not to bind with ace bandages, so I got this for you. Let me know if it doesn’t fit.

And I know I didn’t say this before, and I should have, but thanks for trusting me.

--Rhodey

Tony opens the package and gasps when he sees what’s inside. He’s heard of these, but with Howard snooping through his credit card statements, it’s never been safe enough to buy one. The binder is lighter than he expected, but it feels like he’s touching gold. Tony rushes to his bedroom and puts it on, relieved when it actually fits. Then again, Rhodey knows everything about him. This is no exception. He puts his t-shirt back on, messes with his hair and looks at himself in the mirror. For the first time, he doesn’t see a girl pretending to be a boy. He sees himself, Tony Stark, and tears well dangerously in his eyes as he reaches up to touch his reflection. He’s still not exactly where he wants to be, he won’t be until he turns eighteen and can transition without Howard’s input, but the binder helps ease an ache inside of him, the ache that screams you’re wrong!

Tony doesn’t feel wrong, not with the binder, not with Rhodey calling him Tony and using masculine pronouns. No, for the first time in his entire life, Tony feels just right.

#trans tony stark #deadnaming tw #misgendering tw #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfic #mcu fanfiction #tony stark #brief mention of child abuse

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athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit · 3 years

Text

Of Ice and Blood

Part 4

Welcome back! Hope you enjoy✨

Pairing: Tai'chi Kashharzol (Orc) x Pearl Blackbell (Human OC/Reader)

Warnings: Violence, cursing, shouting, and fighting. No blood mention. Just broken bones and stuff.

2.1k+ words [originally 1.6k but I revised it and added more details!]

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 5 Part 6

Sensing another one behind me, I went low and struck his leg with mine, using his fall to punch his chin with my right fist this time, being careful to use a controlled amount of force or else the nerve I hit will result to permanent brain injury and can be fatal.

I got up, swift in my actions as I saw the guy with a raised baseball bat heading towards me from my left flank, and the other one from the right, fast.

On reflex, I leaned back, the bat that was aimed at me hitting his comrade on the shoulder instead. Guy's lucky, actually. He would have suffered internal bleeding if it bashed the side of his skull.

Four down, two to go.

I took my stance once again to ready myself. This dude was a foot taller than me, with muscles packed with raw strength, but even so, pale in comparison to Tai'chi's p—

Stop thinking that! Focus!

"Smash her head Dan!" The man behind him yelled.

This 'Dan' went straight to me with his bat raised with intent once more.

Breathe in.

Everything slowed down. I let my heart rate decelerate, my hearing sharpened, my sense of smell heightening even further.

I closed my eyes, letting the rest of my senses take over. Years of practice, days of pain from training, each motion engraved to my entire body with purpose. To defend not only myself, but also those who are looked down upon, discriminated and stepped on like dirt. My parents had always taught me to defend myself. Me. Don't get me wrong, my parents are good people, albeit wary of the other races in our community. But the moment I left the roof of my home, I knew it was time for me to defend someone other than myself. I don't give a damn about where we come from or what kind of blood flows within our veins. I will protect those who need protecting, and set anyone straight and down to the ground when they deserve it.

Breathe out.

At the last few moments, with my eyes still shut, I changed my form. I followed his aura and pictured out the shape that was drawing up to land a serious blow to my head. Dan is solid and heavy, but everyone has at least one weakness. And this guy is not spared from that.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

I opened my right fist, right foot forward and relaxed my arms, my legs serving as a firm foundation for my upper body. With the bat inches away from me, I smoothly dodged to the side, using my palm to push away the hand holding the weapon and punched a vital pressure point right under his bicep.

I bent my legs even lower and struck the center of his ribs with my thumb, closing my hands as I jabbed his sciatic nerve on each side at the same time, both located in the middle line of the thigh between the groin and the knee. A solid blow to those nerve points will cause intense pain and shock to the person, along with a temporary immobility of the feet.

a/n: Self defense 101! Remember that dear readers♥

With the support of my left leg, I went behind the man, standing straight and proud. Calm, I opened my eyes when I heard his fall, staring right into the fearful ones of the moron that started all of this.

"Y-You- You killed them!"

Is he that dumb?

"Correction, I didn't. I knocked them unconscious is all. And the fellow that attacked me first? Well, he passed out from the pain of his now funny-looking arm." I stated flatly as I trudged to where he was standing.

"S-Stay away from me! Monster! Freak!" He stumbled, his ass on the ground and away from me until he felt a tree trunk on his back.

I scoffed and withdrew my knuckle dusters back under my baggy sleeve.

"You wanna know who the real monster is?" I stopped and held him in place with my scrutinizing gaze. He was trembling like a wimp at this point.

"It's you.

"You and your disgusting racist friends.

"You, along with all the people who view and treats anyone other than humankind as lowlifes and pests that are meant to be squished and eradicated from the society.

"No, it's you, and the ones who have the same mentality as you, who are monsters under the guise of a human."

I paused, not even blinking as I bore holes into his skull.

"I am human, down to every inch of my being. But unlike you, I respect and treat everyone, regardless of kind or gender, and to those who deserve it, fair and right."

Before I could continue, I scented new people coming into the scene. It was the teaching staff, along with the uni's guard.

Shocked of what they have seen, they turned towards me, angry, surprised, confused expressions on different faces.

"What have you done?!" A female, human instructor, looking to be around her late 20s shouted.

"Ma'am, if you would just let me explain—"

"You are hereby expelled from this institution, young lady!"

All the color of my skin left me as I heard the words I have dreaded even before I set foot in the campus grounds.

"Now let's not go straight to conclusions. We need to deal with this professionally AND properly Miss Holson. You are also not in authority to suspend this student." A heavily bearded dwarven professor, clad in a brown suit and Oxfords, told her off firmly.

"What are you saying Mr. Dulrik? Look at her! Look at this! She murdered students and oh my God, is that the dean's son?!"

For the love of— she blind? Why does everybody think I killed someone???

"Ma'am they are—" I was about to tell her but got cut off, again!

"Helpmehelpmehelpme!" He scrambled away from me and ran to the group of teachers and hugged the young instructor. "I don't know what came over her! She just attacked us out of nowhere!"

The audacity of this fucking bitch!

"Pardon me? Attacked you? YOU were the one who followed me out here! You and your" —I gestured to the bodies laying flat on the ground— " buddies over there!"

"She is lying! The orc was with her and and and—"

It dawned on me that I almost forgot about Tai'chi. My eyes widened, and I frantically scanned the area around for him. And there he was, standing by the oak tree, right where I told him not to move.

He seemed...irritated?

Oh no. At me?

"I have not moved an inch from where I am standing ever since I planted my feet here." He said with his deep baritone voice, turning to confront the staff. "What she's speaking is the truth. They were the ones who followed her here and attacked her, first."

"And how can we be sure you are telling the truth, orc?" Miss Holson replied spitefully.

Even the teacher, huh? Her odor smells like vomit. I mean, I knew she was...foul, but I thought it was because of the situation. Guess not.

Tai'chi did not respond. Instead, he moved to look at me in the eyes. His gaze, searching, but not in an awful way. Was he asking me what I'll do?

"How about we discuss this in the office, shall we?" An elderly professor spoke. She was wearing the university's formal teaching uniform together with black, flat, closed toe sandals. "And Miss Holson, please quiet down. As Mr. Dulrik said, we should not jump into baseless conclusions."

Miss Holson fumed and shut her mouth, holding the coward in her arms.

"Now then, Miss...?"

"Blackbell."

The woman paused. I caught a smell of surprise and... astonishment?

She cleared her throat "Well, then Miss Blackbell, please follow us to the Dean's office, along with your, companion."

Weird.

"Oh and Mr. Smith, kindly call for assistance and take the unconscious students to the infirmary to be treated and looked unto. Thank you." She told the guard. With that, she and the rest of the faculty started walking back.

I glanced at Tai'chi once more to find him, again, staring. I approached him warily, expecting him to be mad at me.

"Uh. Hi?"

I let out a long exhale when he replied, with a slight tug of his lips, his tusk jutting out. "Hi."

I fidgeted, trying to come up with words to explain myself.

"I uh, uhm. Are you mad?"

With his brow raised, "Why would I be?"

Yeah why would he be?

"I-I never told why I keep wearing my mask." I stuttered, "You see I—"

"You two! Start moving before I force you to." A teacher yelled at us from a distance.

"We'll talk later, Pearl. For now let's get this resolved first. I know for a fact that they won't expel you unless they ignore the ill intentions of the ones who attempted to harm you first. But better be safe than sorry, he was the dean's son afterall."

"Yeah... Thanks. We should.. go." I turned and started walking along his side.

******pov shift for a bit*******

Little did Pearl know, he was thinking about how...nice, yeah that's the word, definitely not sexy, you were when he witnessed your skills in combat. It awakened something in him that it took a lot of control not to get aroused there and then, which was the real reason why he stood there, unmoving from his place. Not once did he leave his eyes from you, almost jumping to help you when the guy with the baseball bat was closer than we would have liked. But oh no, he was not surprised, he was astonished and shookt , amazed when you pulled that last technique, sending the human plummeting to the ground almost soundlessly. And the way you stood right after, he knew he was smitten. That proud and intense aura you gave off was enough to make him bow down at your feet. He could feel it. He could smell it. That was his secret, he can scent people and catch any mood shift they make. Even though he told her that her eyes and brows gave it away, it was not entirely true as he could smell, literally, you and the changes on your scent.

Oh but little did he know you could to. Just not as observant as he is.

*******************************

Wow— when I copy pasted the original thing from my notes to my drafts in Tumblr I was like "okay, so. I should read it AGAIN before I post it if I wanna avoid more unnoticed mistakes and keep editing it again and again even though I posted it already! " And I never though it would lead me to adding almost a half thousand words and a pov shift— which i found interesting and really nice! Should I do it more often? Like little inserts of what Tai'chi or another characters thoughts in second pov in between fics if necessary? It's just, nice, to put them in and write all out about what they were thinking outside of Pearl's pov! Let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed reading❤

Tags: @kokokatsworld @crackinanutshell

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