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btsmosphere · 4 years

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Crossfire | KTH

Moodboard Masterlist

~summary: The night your life blew up sent you on a collision course with the campus bad boy, Kim Taehyung. Though you were well aware of his reputation, it was his doorstep you ran to when you were bleeding with nowhere to go.

~word count: 6.4k

~gang!au, mafia!au, college!au, angst, fluff, action, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers

Warnings: swearing, injury, dangerous driving, mention of drugs (warnings apply to each part individually, please read them)

~a/n: I am actually super happy with this chapter, I hope you guys feel the same! Y/N and Tae go on a lil adventure... I also had to make up a name for a cartoon show for this lmao,, and as always, thanks for the love!!

Something was tugging you from sleep.

Softly, though, so you didn’t notice until it was already too late, and your senses were with you all at once. In one last protest against the waking world, you didn’t open your eyes, stubbornly lying there instead, your back to the side of the bed Taehyung used. Then the same something that had woken you up started again.

He was singing.

That was all it took, and your eyes were open, body stiffening. Taehyung, however, noticed nothing. His song continued, one you had never heard before, and his voice was beautifully soft and smooth, expressive even at such a low volume. Clearly he had been hoping not to wake you up.

Swallowing, you forced your eyes to fall closed again. After the initial shock, you soon found it easy to relax to his calming melody, the duvet and pillow enveloping you in combination with his voice. And despite the warmth in your little bubble under the covers, goosebumps rose along your arms.

You really couldn’t get your head round Taehyung.

Though you had seen him being silly, all that time at college you had spent at a distance from him, he had seemed cold, intimidating. It had been a shock to you when he had been so amicable those months ago, and that soon became the Taehyung you knew, but he was still a mystery… His singing had really thrown you for a loop, another puzzle piece thrown in amongst the jumble you were already trying to make sense of when it came to this boy.

All day, you couldn’t get his song out of your head. Specifically, his voice.

His voice. Singing his song.

Him, him, him.

Last night he had mentioned that the books he had brought you were some of his favourites. Another surprise: who would have known that Kim Taehyung, the king of bad reputation, had a hidden love of fashion, an inner art connoisseur?

Now the books meant something different.

You read them even quicker after that, drinking in every word as if there were a drought.

Perhaps there was.

When you finished the last one in the stack, you were instantly back to the real world within four walls. It was only morning as well, judging by the light. Brilliant. One whole day and nothing to do.

“Y/N!”

Obnoxious footfalls. Taehyung was taking the stairs two at a time.

The bedroom door swung open to a slightly breathless Taehyung, leaning his weight against the door handle he had yet to let go of.

“Sorry it’s so late. You okay?”

You were lying across the bed’s width, head falling over the end nearest him, hair brushing the floor.

“Yep. Do you want me to cook?”

He only frowned down at you for a second longer before continuing as if one member of the conversation wasn’t upside down.

“Ah, no. I didn’t get any food.”

“But we basically ran out yesterday,” you frowned.

“I know,” he said, “but today we are going to the food.”

Now that made you sit up.

“What?”

“Yep,” a proud smile made its way onto his face and he straightened up, “we’re going out.”

When your only response was a wide-eyed stare, he took it as his cue to elaborate.

“I know you’ve been going a little crazy inside, so I thought we could go for an adventure. Hobi’s racing tonight and he says we can join him.”

“Hoseok?” you questioned.

“Yeah. Sound good?”

It did. You knew it shouldn’t. You weren’t naïve – you knew what he meant by racing. Idiots breaking every road law possible for clout, or maybe money. It was precisely what you had always stayed away from.

But it sounded so good.

“Sounds perfect,” you grinned.

First, Taehyung helped you find the pair of his jeans you were most likely to fit into; since you had been at his, you had mainly worn sweats for comfort’s sake, but this occasion called for a change. Wearing a hoodie was non-negotiable though, to hide your face.

After rolling up the hem of his black jeans, you slung on the most nondescript hoodie he had. Shoes, however, were more of an issue, so Taehyung vowed to buy you some once you were out. Also wearing black, Taehyung looked much more stylish than you in cargo pants, a bomber jacket and a bandana.

“Did you take your painkiller?” was the last thing on the list before finally leaving, via the side door.

Night had descended completely by now, putting you more at ease. You walked far away from streetlights when you could, but as you drew closer to the city centre, that was the last thing on your mind.

Being outside was just what you needed. You breathed in the cold air and drizzle on your face, eyes following each car that whirred past and people’s boots splashing in puddles of melted neon. And what made it all the more thrilling was the knowledge that you were taking a risk.

So far, you had been clumsily walking around in Tae’s sliders, until suddenly a man came barging past you on the sidewalk. In your dash to dodge him, you tripped over the too-big shoes, barrelling straight into Taehyung’s stomach where his arms steadied you.

You barely had a chance to straighten before Tae had turned around, bent down and grabbed the backs of your knees, forcing you to fling your arms around his neck, shrieking as he hoisted you onto his back. Grinning while you complained into the back of his neck, he carried on, but soon he was dragging you into a store that was still open – though not for long – and you grabbed the cheapest sneakers going.

With that problem solved, food was the next priority. In the end, you chose a street vendor and headed to your rendezvous with steaming bags in hand.

Not far from the centre, once you wound through the smallest streets enclosed by the tallest buildings, you emerged onto a car park. It wasn’t as secluded as you had expected for underground racing, still lit up in colours by the signs of shops that backed onto it, the entrance opening onto a wide road.

Cars were lined up, one pulling up at the same time as you and Taehyung. None were flashy sports cars: instead the line-up came in various states of repair, altered by their owners with darkened windows, underglow, stickers, spoilers, you name it.

“Hoseok!”

Beside you, Taehyung shouted across the car park, waving an arm above his head. Then his hand wrapped around your wrist and he lead you through the thin crowd over to the older bangtan boy, who pulled his friend in and clapped him on the back.

Hoseok joined the two of you as you sat on the wall to eat, watching as the first few people showed off their wheel spins and donuts, revving engines mixing with whoops and yells from the spectators. Most were dressed in black like you. A handful of people came up to chat with the boys, with ‘haven’t seen you in a while’-s to Taehyung and offers of bets for Hoseok. Keeping your head well down, you just enjoyed your food, silently taking in the new environment.

The night had cleared up, the asphalt still shining from the earlier drizzle, but the puddles now lay still as glass.

Plenty of people had bottles in their hands, sitting around on the perimeter walls. In the opposite corner, those with hidden faces crowded together, almost hiding the exchange in their hands. Others sat on their bonnets, proudly talking to the interested huddle gathered around them.

“Right, I’m gonna get warmed up,” Hoseok dropped down from the wall and departed with one last wave to your well wishes.

As Hoseok pulled his car out of its spot, more followed. Rolling down his window, he rested his arm casually against the side as he guided his car round, revving here and there to elicit hollers from the crowd.

Laughing in the driver’s seat, he hit the gas, putting on a spurt of speed and skidding round in a perfect one-eighty. A cloud was thrown up by his back tyres, glittering as the droplets fell back down.

By now, you had finished eating and were anticipating some action. The buzz among the spectators grew more as each driver messed about in the parking lot, until at last they were filing out, lining the empty road along an imaginary starting line.

“Can we go closer?” you asked Taehyung as people gravitated towards the roadside, disturbing your view.

A smile bloomed on his face and he jumped down, ditching his takeaway.

“Sure.”

Weaving in and out of the rabble to reach the front, you stood on your tiptoes to spot Hoseok’s car in the middle of the line. Taehyung stood just behind you, already speaking to someone. From your left side, a taller girl pushed past you, striding right up to the curb.

In a ripple, the pack quietened. The girl raised her hand – was that a gun? – and a bang sounded, drowned out instantaneously by the squealing of tyres and growling of engines. Within seconds, the cars had sped out of sight.

“How long is the race?” you turned to Taehyung, whose acquaintance had walked away again.

“That depends how fast Hoseok decides to go,” he murmured back, perching on the wall behind him and kicking his legs out, “they’re on one of the city circuits, main roads, so it’s just about acceleration.”

Nodding in what you hoped was a casual manner, you returned your eyes to the deserted road.

“So he’s good then, Hoseok?”

You hopped up onto the wall beside Taehyung, but it wasn’t his voice that replied.

“Oh, he’s the best.”

Your head snapped around, leaving you face to face with Yoongi. Leaning against the end of the wall, smoke swirling up from a glowing cigarette end in his hand, he looked right at home. How long had he been standing there?

“I heard you were here,” he directed a rare smile past you to Taehyung, “everyone’s wondering if you’re gonna go for a spin.”

“It’s been a long time,” Taehyung chuckled.

“Beck’s next up,” he said, as if that was meant to mean something. Based on Taehyung’s reaction, it probably did.

Shaking his head, he laughed, then bit down on his lip, still smiling, and stared into his lap.

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Well you won’t have long,” Yoongi crushed his cigarette against the wall, chucking it carelessly to the ground. Sure enough, the screech of tyres and distant rumble of engines were once again becoming audible.

As Yoongi melted away into the crowd again, the sounds grew and you stood up again, craning your neck to see as far down the road as you could. Only seconds later, a pair of headlights blazed around the corner, drawing a line down your vision as the car flew towards you, followed by a tight group of others.

Stepping back, you watched as the first place car whizzed by, blowing your hair back and off your face, the rest piling across the line in a photo-finish a few seconds later.

While the cars slowed, drifting round to return to the car park and the assembled cheering crowd, an elbow nudged your arm.

“Do you fancy a ride?”

Your eyes slid between Taehyung and the cars re-entering the lot, quickly encircled by people.

What the hell were you thinking? Why were you even considering saying yes? This was crazy-

“Okay!”

Taehyung held you in front of him, shielding you as together you cut a path through the excited mass towards the victor of the last race. Hoseok was grinning from ear to ear, arms in the air, high-fiving people and showing off energetic dance moves in exchange for laughter and pats on the back.

Once again, Taehyung clapped his shoulder, this time leaning in to make his request. Hanging back, you were invisible in the crowd, your face obscured.

“Hey, everyone!” Hoseok shouted, causing a hush, “Taehyungie’s gonna do the next one!”

Cheers and excited applause erupted as Hoseok lifted Tae’s hand in the air. The older boy jumped around while Taehyung laughed, and before long the other drivers were back in their cars. Returning to the roadside, the crowd left you behind.

“Hop in,” Taehyung told you, making his way to the driver’s side.

Though not top-end, Hoseok’s car was not inexpensive. You slid into the leather seat and buckled up, Tae doing the same before gripping the wheel and getting it moving, out and onto the road.

“So where are we going?” you eyed the rabble from your window as you passed them, low rumble of the engine almost teasing given what was to come.

“Beck,” Taehyung replied, pulling into position, one hand staying loosely on the wheel, “it’s what we call one of the courses round the back alleys down by Beck square, and it’s sort of my speciality.”

You nodded, eyes falling back onto the wide open road in front of you. A few cars over, you saw the girl from before standing on the curb.

“You ready?”

A deep breath in.

“Yeah,” you smiled.

Bang.

Outside, the crowd blurred and disappeared, lights whipping past your window as you were forced back in your seat with the sudden speed.

Other cars encroached either side, penning you in but Taehyung kept his eyes ahead, locking the wheel all the way right to take you barrelling into a smaller road, with only one car ahead of you. At the back windscreen, purple headlights were bearing down on you, so close it was like a demon staring into the car.

Weaving, left, right, your car thundered after the red one ahead of you, but the gap only increased.

Snarling behind you, engine nearly as loud as your own, your main pursuer was on top of you. As you spilled out onto a wider road, it was gaining, crawling up your side.

With a glint in his eye, Taehyung took one look at the competitor, one glance to where the red car was turning the next corner some way ahead, and pulled the wheel.

Staring straight ahead, wheel at arm’s length, Taehyung pushed the car, the roaring engine riding a deafening crescendo as you powered ahead through the deserted alley he had taken you down. You winced as he rapidly squeezed past some industrial bins lining the wall, only grazing one with slight jolt – then it was a clear road to the growing exit.

Your car fired from the shortcut like a cannonball, Taehyung wrestling the wheel to bring the back tyres under control as you turned right, finding yourselves neck-and-neck with the red car from earlier.

Next, a drawn-out corner, and that was all Taehyung needed to pull away, expertly drifting around before flattening his foot to the ground, plunging into the darkest alley yet, lit only by your headlamps. But once you emerged, the wider road was back, shop signs and streetlights blurring outside.

Taking a glance behind, the red car was nowhere to be seen.

A laugh bubbled up from your throat as you fell back in your seat, exhilarated. And then there was the crowd, watching and waiting by the parking lot – you had won!

“Fuck me,” you breathed as Taehyung relaxed beside you, casually braking into a drift to turn around.

A hearty laugh returned from him as he pulled into the car park, soon getting swarmed. Exiting the car, you were both engulfed in the clamouring mass, though you managed to slip away to the midst of it. Everyone was the most interested in Taehyung.

At last, most had dispersed and only Hoseok and Yoongi were left congratulating Taehyung with hugs.

“Fun, right?” Hoseok smiled at you, inviting you into their conversation.

“Yeah.” Breathless as if you had just run the course, you laughed with them.

“Good job, you haven’t lost your touch,” Yoongi affirmed again as Hoseok left you to drive again.

By the sounds of it, the next race was a longer one. Bets had been made and you all held your breath as the cars lined up again. The starting gun did nothing to help your heart calm down after the adrenaline rush of Taehyung’s race, but you weren’t complaining. His face wore a similar joy to yours, the two of you happily sitting back after Yoongi left and laughing about the thrill of his driving.

“I dunno if I would have got away so well on the corner if Hoseok’s car wasn’t so good though-“

“Hey! Don’t downplay it, your driving was insane!”

“Maybe it was insane,” he looked down, bashful, but soon smiled back and shook his finger at you, “so don’t try this at home!”

But your laughter at his joke was interrupted.

Sailing over the buildings came the high-pitched wail of a siren. The group quietened. Listening. Perhaps it was unrelated?

A couple of people walked into the road, looking around to see if the vehicle was coming your way. It was definitely getting too close for comfort.

Taehyung stood, hand wrapping round your upper arm and lightly pulling you away from the front of the crowd, though both of you still stared at the road, hoping the sound would shrink again, pass you by.

Blue flashed against the rain-slick road, illuminating dark windows at the end of the street.

Bad luck.

“Run!”

Those who were standing in the road took off across it, away from the car park, while some scattered back to where they came from. The few cars left standing in the parking lot were starting up, leaving by the alleys. And in the middle of the crowd, you and Taehyung started running.

In seconds the parking lot had emptied, and now you were alone with Taehyung as other members of the party vaulted walls away from the sirens and shouting police officers, the slamming of car doors as they gave chase.

Air rushed in and out of your lungs as your feet pounded after Taehyung, going as fast as you could but still falling behind. Dark buildings either side of you were painted in blue as light fell down the alleyway from the cars that had scattered you. Up ahead, Taehyung rounded a corner, but it was lost in darkness and you weren’t sure which one he had gone down.

You didn’t stop running.

“Stop there! Police!”

A woman yelled from the other end of the street, making you push yourself harder.

Just then, Taehyung skidded back around the corner you had just reached and grabbed your hand before you could think, and now he was pulling you away, taking turn after turn through dark streets you had never seen before. Stumbling after him, you clutched his hand, your lifeline.

You must have lost them by now. No blue lights could be seen, no sirens or shouts heard, no other footsteps but your own.

You hoped you had lost them by now. Your heart was beating out of your chest and your head spun, lungs failing to cooperate, evicting air in heavy bursts, taking it in too slow. In your side, the pain couldn’t be masked by the painkiller anymore, pinching mercilessly with every step.

You had to slow down.

Legs failing you, you finally gave in to stopping.

The sudden tug and then loss of your hand in his made Taehyung turn around, finding you doubled over, panting and pale in the face. Eyes scanning the street beyond you for danger, he moved forwards, hands gripping your arms.

“Hey, Y/N, can you keep going?”

Only your hyperventilating answered him.

“Y/N? Can you hear me?”

Trying to pull you up to look at him, he was only met with your body going heavier in his arms, forcing him to scramble to wrap his arms around your back as you went limp.

Cursing, he lowered you to the ground but didn’t let go. Not taking his eyes off your face, he caught the moment your eyes opened again once you were leant against the wall.

A short breath escaped him, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you managed, breathing more even now, “my side…”

“It’s alright, you can rest for a bit,” he assured you, finally releasing you and sitting back on his heels.

One more check up and down the alley.

“Were we seriously just running from police?” you laughed slightly, bringing his attention back to you.

“First time for everything,” he mused, sitting down beside you.

“I guess,” you chuckled, still a little breathless, “so is the racing over?”

“For tonight. It gets busted occasionally, so when the others get back and see everyone’s gone they’ll know what happened.”

“Is Hoseok going to get arrested?”

“Shouldn’t do. He’s had plenty of practice evading cops.”

Nodding, your eyes returned to the ground. It was easy to forget how much experience Taehyung and the other bangtan boys had in all this; you were just here for the ride.

“You had your painkiller, right?” Taehyung broke the brief silence.

“Yeah, I did,” you quickly confirmed, “and I feel better now, I just, I dunno what happened…”

“And your iron pill?”

“Hmm? Oh, the red ones… no, I-I don’t think so.”

He clicked his tongue.

“That’ll be it then. You’re taking one as soon as we get home.”

Despite feeling a little like you were being scolded, you smiled, about to respond when a scuffle from the end of the street made you both turn your heads.

As you watched the dimly lit space, a silhouette ran past in a blur, followed by a slower figure, wearing an unmistakeable bulky police vest. They jogged past the opening to your street, but soon their outline reappeared, empty handed.

Breath catching in your throat, you went obligingly with Taehyung as he stood silently, his arm guiding you behind him without taking his eyes off the cop. As quickly as you dared, you both retreated, wincing at each slight crunch beneath your feet. In the silence, the crackling of a police radio, though incomprehensible, was clearly heard, and the officer mumbled back into it.

Spying an opening to hide you from view, you gathered this was your target. Holding your breath, you approached it, swinging around the corner at the first opportunity with only one glance back.

One glance that showed the cop’s head turning towards you.

This alley was much smaller than the other, and you found yourself facing Taehyung in much the same way you had in his hallway when you first came barging into his life. Searching his face, you wondered if he had seen what you did just now.

“Tae-“

His lips formed around a shushing sound that barely left his mouth, and in one small step, he was up against you, a finger steady on your lips to silence you. All you could do was hold your tongue and stare as he looked past you, tentatively dipping his head out of your hiding spot, never lowering his finger.

“They’re gone,” he spoke, voice still impossibly low.

Swallowing, you removed your eyes from his face, glancing up the alley you were now on. It was a dead end, home only to a large dumpster surrounded by smashed glass and needles. You couldn’t leave this way, which would explain why you needed to wait here, in case the cop was still close by.

What it didn’t explain was why Taehyung was still so close to you.

Although his hand had now lowered, you could feel his body heat from this proximity. The zip of his undone jacket brushed against the front of your hoodie.

Your tongue ran across your lips. Eyes finally diverted from the potential dangers outside, Taehyung was now looking at you.

“Uh…” you cleared your throat, regretting opening your mouth. You had no idea what you had planned to say.

Luckily, you were startled from the situation as a chiming ringtone broke through the moment.

Scrambling to scoop his phone from his pocket and answer it, Taehyung stumbled back, eyeing the alleyway outside in a panic. Thankfully, no one had heard. Better get moving.

“Hello?”

Not even getting a look at the caller in his rush to pick it up, Jungkook’s voice answering him was a relief.

Mindlessly grabbing your hand in his, Taehyung started walking with you beside him as he listened to the younger member. As you passed through the end of the street, he took a look both ways before leading you the opposite way to that the police officer had taken.

Holding Kim Taehyung’s hand was something you had never seen coming. But here you were.

You didn’t complain though. His grip was firm, comfortable, and walking with him this way felt… normal. How that was even possible, you didn’t know, and you blamed it on your lingering light-headedness – of course you would want to feel grounded.

But somehow, far away from all you knew in backstreets you had never seen before, after a very illegal night, with a gang member talking in serious tones over the phone next to you, you felt perfectly at home.

“Cheers, Kook. Night.”

Taehyung shut off the call, tucking his phone back into his pocket. By now you had reached more well-lit roads that you imagined would be busy by day. Now, of course, you were the only ones here. God knew what time it was.

The only light brighter than the streetlamps was the interior of a 24-hour convenience store, a good indication that it was by no means a civilised hour. Still without letting your hand go, Taehyung led you inside.

Standing in front of the wall of fizzy drinks, he ordered you to pick one before swiping a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar. The teenage cashier didn’t look you in the eye once as he rung you up, and then you were on your way. Only now did Taehyung drop your hand, passing you the chocolate with a command to get your sugar up and himself tearing into the crisps.

When you had worked through the first row, he spoke up.

“Jungkook was on the phone about your dad.”

“O-oh,” you stuttered, having just put another square in your mouth.

“Well he’s okay. He hasn’t been hurt, but as you know, Shinhyuk’s forced him to hand over your apartment for the gang to use. He’s forcing him to work for him, full-time, with the threat of harm to you if he doesn’t… Apparently he was accused of stealing drugs from a deal and that warrants all this – though it’s probably baseless. Shinhyuk had his eyes on your place already.”

You watched your feet as you listened. It had been easy to put your dad out of your mind for the sake of your sanity, the not knowing taking you round in circles, but hearing that he was still alive took a weight from you.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung said, greeted with your silence, “we’re fighting against Shinhyuk, and we’ll try to help him. Try not to worry about him losing his job, I mean-“

“Worry?” you looked up at him, “He’s alive! There’s nothing to be sorry for! Can you thank Jungkook for finding this out?”

A small, relieved smile crossed Taehyung’s face.

“Course I can,” he grinned, then held out your Fanta, “now don’t forget about your sugar.”

After this, the walk home was surprisingly short. Given how lost you were, you had thought you were half the city away, but in next to no time you turned onto recognisable streets. Strolling through the dark eating sugary snacks, it felt as if you were coming home from the movies, or any venture more innocent than your night of racing.

As the pair of you were climbing Tae’s front steps, he offered to make tea to warm up. Needless to say, you were fully on board with the idea.

He set to work, the kitchen lit dimly by lights tucked underneath the cupboards.

However, leaning against the wall waiting for the water to boil, you began to feel just how tired you were, both physically and mentally. But you could sleep later: you didn’t want the night to end yet. Deciding on a middle ground, you gave in to sliding down the wall, seating yourself on the floor. Not a move you would have chosen at your most alert moments, but it couldn’t be helped.

At your downwards movement, Taehyung spun around, dropping the teaspoon with a clatter.

But then he saw you staring back at him in bewilderment, and his eyes closed as he huffed in equal parts relief and frustration.

“God, I thought you were passing out again,” he grumbled.

Soon the bag of red pills landed in front of you on the tile. Sheepishly smiling, you gulped one down, and then a mug of tea filled its space.

“Oh, we don’t have to stay here,” you frowned at Tae as he sat down opposite you on the kitchen floor, leaning his back against the cupboards as he cradled his tea.

“Nah, it’s a unique perspective,” he said, “I’ve never sat here before and it’s my house.”

“Yeah, I’m sure your kitchen looks super different from down here,” a smile threatened to break your baffled frown, though you did pick up your mug, breathing in the inviting steam rising from it.

“So was tonight okay?” Taehyung smiled over his mug, eyes creasing a little as they watched for your answer.

“Mmm, yeah,” you swallowed your first sip of tea, “I’ve never… done anything like that before. But I thought it was really exciting! Hoseok is so nice too, letting you drive his car.”

Tae let out a short laugh, eyes disappearing for a moment.

“I practically learnt to drive in Hobi’s cars.”

“Wait, cars? As in, cars, plural?”

“Yeah,” his wide grin stayed on his face, both rows of his teeth visible in the low light, “tonight was just small races, he didn’t get out the big guns. You should see his Bugatti.”

Your eyes bulged from your head.

“I’m not even going to ask where he got the money for that,” you mumbled, still in awe.

“He didn’t,” Taehyung smirked. Rolling your eyes, you breathed a laugh, soon diving back into your tea.

“Was it alright with Yoongi there?” he asked next. His eyes were wider now, curious, smile dimming, “I know he hasn’t exactly been…”

“No, it was fine,” you assured, “I get that he doesn’t like me, but he seems to tolerate me now, so I won’t push him.”

“He did sort of beat you up before, though,” Tae pointed out.

“I nearly beat him up back!” you joked, admittedly motivated by genuine defensiveness, “I could have handed his ass to him any time I pleased, but I chose to give you the satisfaction of saving me instead.”

Taehyung responded by snorting into his tea.

“You are so rude,” you tipped your foot over to playfully kick his thigh as you both laughed.

“Honestly, I’m glad you’re not too bothered by Yoongi,” Taehyung said once the laughter had passed, though his smile still lingered, “he looks so tough, but he’s a massive softie really.”

You simply raised your eyebrows.

“You’ll see,” he smirked.

“I’ll wait,” you scoffed, “although I don’t find him scary exactly… he sort of reminds me of that evil magician from Archie-wizz- did you watch that?”

“Yes! I used to watch that every day after school!”

“Yeah, so you know the one I’m on about, right? He was always lurking around corners, like, the camera would turn around and there he was, like he’d been there the whole time. That’s Yoongi!”

Tae barked a disbelieving laugh.

“You mean Count E. Vil? Yoongi would flip shit if he heard you compared him to a cartoon.”

“Count E. Vil? That was his name?”

“Yeah, and every time he appeared, Archie was like ‘didn’t see ya there!’”

“Yeah, yeah it is that one,” you laughed at the memory, “was that seriously his name? I must have forgotten.”

“You know, the more I think about, the more I can see it,” Taehyung was laughing too, “you just turn around and he’s like – bam – looking all cool…”

Taehyung schooled his face into a death stare just like Yoongi’s to demonstrate, making you crack up even more. He didn’t last long before the act broke down, laughter creeping into his poker mouth and now the both of you were bent over your knees with tears in your eyes, wheezing with the kind of infectious laughter that is most at home after lights out at a sleepover.

“Not a word of this to Yoongi, understand,” Tae joked when you had both calmed down, voice worn out from the laughing fit.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Comfortable silence warmed the room for a moment as you both drank more tea. Odd though your little scene was, with you both sat on the floor, legs outstretched in the middle, it was cosy. The glow of fading LEDs that barely lit your faces separated you from the darkness of the outside. In all the world, it felt as though you two were the only ones, safe in your unorthodox sanctuary.

“How…”

You spoke before you had figured out how to phrase your question, but now Taehyung had lifted his eyes back to you.

“How did you… Who started, I mean, with bangtan…”

“How did we get together?”

You gave a small nod.

“Some of us go way back,” he set his tea down, “I mean, I went to high school with Jimin. And Yoongi’s from the same city as me, and we used to know each other when we were tiny. His family was connected to Namjoon’s, and that’s where it started – their families started the whole crime thing, and they started training together.

“We all sort of fell together, I think Jin’s family needed help from Namjoon’s and he stayed on; Jungkook knew Jimin from childhood, and he showed up asking for help when we had already started; Jin found Hoseok at college. I started, and Jimin came along too, because Yoongi wanted me. We had been out of touch for years, but I still knew who he was.”

“Wow,” you breathed.

“It’s sort of complicated, I know,” he directed a shy smile at his cup.

“Well, that’s life,” you said quietly, “but you guys work so well together. I guess you got lucky.”

Taehyung’s nod was solemn.

“Yeah. But it’s more than just working – they’re my brothers now.”

Tilting your head as you listened, you believed him.

“You guys seem to understand each other so well.”

“We do – we always have each other’s backs, you know? I wouldn’t stick around in this for just anyone.”

“By ‘this’, do you mean…” you rested your chin on your knees, still listening intently.

“Everything we’re known for: drugs, fights, racing… I never intended to get into all that. I try to be careful, and moral, about it, we all do. But I wouldn’t have done it for anyone else.”

“Do you think you’ll stay in a gang forever?”

By now you were both talking in hushed tones as if you were huddled under blankets.

“No, I don’t think so,” he pondered, “I’m not sure what I want to be, though.”

“How about your art?” you smiled, “or fashion. Those books you got me were really interesting. Or your music? You’re a good singer-“

Cutting yourself off, your eyes widened. Taehyung had been nodding along, considering your options, but now he stared straight back at you.

“You heard me singing?”

“U-uh, yeah, I did,” you stammered, heat glowing in your cheeks, “I was half asleep, but I thought you were so good.”

“Thanks,” Tae’s voice was lower in pitch now, and he swallowed and looked down, his dark hair obscuring most of his face so he almost melted into the darkness. He cleared his throat, “I’ve never sung to anyone else before.”

“Well, you didn’t exactly sing to me,” you spoke softly, reaching a hand to his knee, “but it was amazing anyway. I mean it.”

You were glad to see a genuine smile blooming on his face as he looked back up again.

“Anyway,” he shook his head, “I’m not gonna leave the boys. Even when I’m not in a gang, they’ll always be my family. I’m not letting that go.”

“I understand.”

You really did. Your only family was across the city, torn from you and forced to work for Shinhyuk.

Hesitantly, you drew your hand back from his knee.

Draining the last dregs of his cold tea, Taehyung let the silence settle.

“I miss college,” you eventually confess into the quiet room, “I hope I get to go back.”

“Even Professor Han’s class?” Tae’s low voice joked.

“Oh, I don’t think I miss it that much,” you smiled, though it was overtaken by a sigh.

“You’ll go back,” came the reassurance.

A pause.

“We… we’re hoping we can beat Shinhyuk in this whole thing. We’re sort of working on a plan.”

Instantly intrigued, you stared expectantly across the kitchen at Taehyung, who heaved a sigh and began to explain.

“Shinhyuk has his weaknesses, and thanks to Jungkook we’ve found the worst. He works differently to us. He doesn’t care for anyone in his gang, and they don’t care for each other. Like your dad, he keeps most of them there with blackmail, so we’ve been trying to pick people off. If we can infiltrate well enough, guarantee his members a safe escape from the gang, or find some blackmail of our own to get them, we should be able to weaken him and catch him off-guard when his safety net isn’t there to catch him anymore…”

“Is it going to work?” you breathed into the still air.

Taehyung pursed his lips. You were very conscious of your breathing as you waited for an answer. In. Out.

“It has to.”

I will love you forever if you reblog! Comment or message me to be added to the taglist!

Taglist: @kim-ji-hyeons-world @preciouschimine @just-a-dorito @ireallylikefoodandyoutube @veronawrites @tatastaetaemainblog @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @ironica-m8 @min-shadow @harleygirl808 @aianloveseven @rjsmochii @vantooru @un2-verse @thatbemyhouse

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ofbardsandmonsters · 3 years

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I give you my first ever Geraskier piece! Thank you to @crownofstardustandbone for the beautiful moodboard AND for inspiring this through our Henry Cavill thirst chats!

***

It had been a particularly bad hunt. Not that classifying hunts as either good or bad was something Geralt was used to doing. In the past, a hunt had always been either a success or a failure: if the monster was dead, the hunt was a success and he got paid. And if Geralt was the one left dead, well.. he hadn’t had a failure yet.

And then he met Jaskier.

Now a hunt was classified based on the bard’s reaction to Geralt’s injuries. Before, he would simply catalog the injuries, provide whatever aid might be necessary to them, and wait for them to heal. But Jaskier had little-to-no experience with witcher mutations and the supernatural healing they provided. So any time Geralt came back to their camp or to the room at whatever inn they happened to be staying at, there was a reaction.

Minor injuries usually only came with an eye roll and a click of the tongue, a fondly annoyed honestly witcher, I’d think you liked getting hurt. But the more grievous the injuries, the more tense and serious his bard became.

And last night, even Geralt could admit that his wounds were maybe deeper than what could be considered normal for him. But the wyvern he had been contracted to dispose of was larger than had been reported, and stubborn. It had taken a great deal of strength and skill to bring the beast down. So when he staggered back to the small house given for their use by the minor lord who had posted the contract, struggling to keep himself held together, Jaskier had gone so still and so pale, the bard had very nearly resembled a marble statue.

But the obvious terror on the younger man’s face had disappeared within an instant, and he had rushed forward before Geralt could collapse on the wooden floor, showing off a surprising amount of strength as he took most of the witcher’s weight to drag him across the room. Then Jaskier had refused to allow Geralt to do a single thing as he set to tending to his wounds, utilizing the ever-increasing skill he had picked up while following the witcher along the Path. The bard had even insisted on lighting a fire by hand, where he would normally beg for an igni because do you know how difficult lighting a fire by hand is, Geralt, really?

And Jaskier had been abnormally, almost worryingly silent throughout the entire process. He hadn’t even asked which potions to pull from Geralt’s bag, easily plucking the right bottles with little hesitation. If he hadn’t been so exhausted from his body desperately trying to heal itself, Geralt might have realized just exactly what that meant.

But as it was, it wasn’t until he woke the next morning, the height of the sun in the sky an indicator of just how long he’d slept, to a confusing but alluring mixture of smells wafting from the small kitchen that things started to click into place.

It took several minutes to drag his still aching body from the small bed that Jaskier had tucked him into the night before, and even that small amount of movement nearly drained him of what little energy he had while his body still healed, so Geralt didn’t bother with a shirt or a tie for his hair as he slowly made his way across the room to where it looked like the bard was cooking. He leaned against the doorway that led from the small bedroom to the kitchen to watch for a moment before speaking, one arm wrapped gingerly around his injured middle.

“Jaskier.”

Geralt couldn’t help the small smirk that appeared on his face as the bard jumped and spun around, brandishing the spoon in his hand. And it grew as the shocked look on Jaskier’s face morphed into a glare. “Geralt! You should not be out of bed. Your body is still healing!” When the only response he received was the lifting of a single white eyebrow, Jaskier sighed and pointed the spoon towards the small table off to the side of the room. “At least sit down while I pull this out of the oven. Please?”

The witcher slowly moved towards the table, carefully lowering himself into the chair while trying not to let his obvious discomfort show on his face, lest Jaskier start to gloat. “Since when do you cook?”

Jaskier glared at him over his shoulder as he pulled something from the oven that smelled strongly of rich herbs and roasted venison, squash and potatoes. “I cook!” Geralt’s eyebrow went up again, and Jaskier rolled his eyes. “I can cook. I was constantly getting underfoot in the kitchens as a child, so our cook finally got tired of kicking me out and roped me into helping instead. I’m just used to a kitchen, rather than a campfire.”

It was impossible to keep the wide-eyed look of surprise from his face as Jaskier set a large slice of roasted venison pie in front of him, squash and potatoes and peas spilling from the crust. Luckily, the bard didn’t notice as he turned back to the oven to remove something else. Something that smelled of.. peaches and rosemary. Warmth bloomed in his chest that had nothing to do with the healing wounds. Geralt could only stare at the food set before him, mind working around what it meant that Jaskier had made foods that he was immensely fond of without the witcher ever having said anything, almost missing what his bard was saying as he set a still-steaming peach and rosemary frangipane tart beside the plate of roasted pie.

“-meat is compliments of our gracious host, dropped off this morning by one of his kitchen staff as an extra thanks for solving his wyvern problem. I told her you were still healing, and that one of us would come by later for the coin. And I picked up just the loveliest peaches at the market yesterday while you were out witchering, so I thought the tarts would be a welcome addition.”

Before Jaskier could sit in the chair opposite his own, Geralt reached out to wrap his hand around the bard’s wrist, stilling his movement. Blue eyes met gold, confusion written on the younger man’s face. “Geralt? Are you alright? If the food’s too much, I can make something diff-”

“You love me.”

Jaskier went still, face turning a lovely shade of pink as he struggled to speak. “I.. that is.. of course I love you, dear heart. We’ve been friends for nearly twenty years, haven’t we?”

All it took was a gentle tug on his wrist, and Jaskier came without hesitation, letting Geralt pull him until he was standing between the witcher’s spread knees. “Jaskier. I didn’t teach you which potions from my bag to use and when. I didn’t tell you that I have a fondness for peach and rosemary tarts. You just.. noticed.”

The brunette’s face turned even pinker, but now there was a soft smile on his face, all traces of embarrassment wiped away. “Of course I noticed, Geralt. You deserve to be cared for, my darling witcher.”

Geralt pulled again, encouraging Jaskier to lean toward him until he could capture the bard’s lips with his own in a gentle, chaste kiss.

“I love you too, Jas.”

#geraskier #fluff #hurt/comfort #i love them

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helenazbmrskai · 3 years

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Young Flame TEASER

🚒 young flame TEASER + moodboard

🚒 words 581

🚒 Pairing (firefighter jimin x fire investigator y/n ft. best friend/colleague jungkook)

🚒 Genre (firefighter au, crime and mystery au, romance au, smut, fluff, angst)

🚒 Summary (After twenty years of silence the ’flamethrower’ took four young victims lives yesterday when a penthouse in Gangnam burst into flames. The police still haven’t stated whether the fire was accidental or incendiary.

(or)

When a serial killer is on the loose romance should be the last thing what’s on Y/N’s priority list, however, it’s hard not to be swayed by the evidence as Park Jimin a young firefighter started to set her heart on fire instead of putting out the flames. The man seems to appear everywhere Y/N traces back the clues until there are only two options in front of her. Shall she believe her heart or her brain?)

🚒 note: I don’t know when I can post the full story but until then enjoy this sneak peek! If anyone else would like to be tagged I’ll happily add them!

tag list @preciouschimine , @generousrunawaylove, @nikkiordonez12, @ryunies, @sweet-anime-loli, @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d

Read it under the cut!

”Can I help you with something ma’am?” Your high ponytail flicked from your shoulders as you turned around your axis, you were still waiting for your partner, Jungkook to arrive so you sipped your cheap coffee that you got from a shop near the airport in front of the fire department not bothering to enter and arrive early without your colleague slash best friend. You two have time to settle down even if he runs a bit late.

Coming back to Korea was refreshing and somehow nostalgic, it’s almost a shame that you can’t take some time off before you have to shake yourself back to work, feeling the exhaustion from the long flight and still suffering from jet lag you dumbly tilt your head to the side in question, blaming your tired mind when you froze because of this stranger’s ridiculous handsomeness. His body looks firm under the uniform that you instantly recognise as one of the fire stations current workwear, honestly with that gifted look you expected him to be a model and not a firefighter.

You were about to open your mouth to talk - and inform him about your profession - as the young firefighter arched up a quizzical brow due to your stubborn silence when Jungkook decided to play his childish games and push you hard as if it’s a normal form of greeting smashing you head against the stranger’s covered chest that he failed to see before he decided to operate his sly scheme.

”Y/N!” Jungkook can’t contain his excitement seeing you after so long since you left to America to do that ’Advanced Fire and Arson Training Complex’ course that helped you gain more experience and knowledge, you were gone for two years but it seemed like to him that you left ages ago. He’s thrilled to work with you again, that boy he got assigned to after you left reminded him how much you were a blessing to work with.

”You little shit I see you haven’t changed while I was away, you really are a big baby Kookie.” Rolling your eyes in a good-natured way without any hint of malice even if he made you look like an idiot in front of a handsome firefighter. Thanks to his quick reflexes you were not able to throw him off balance and he stabilized the both of you before you could get close to kiss the ground.

”Usually women take me out on a date before we get entangled with each other like this.” The airy chuckle is music to your ears that left his plush lips. You can count his lashes from the proximity and his playful comment makes you blush hard and quick. Lost for words after you regain your own footing you watch him like a fish out of water, but someone above must have pity on you as the alarms go off making the firefighter spring into action.

”Well I guess it’s my cue to leave little lady. Let’s talk about that dinner some other time, huh?” You were not even able to utter a single word to him the only time he heard you talk when you called Jungkook a little shit, making a huge idiot out of yourself and this handsome man asks you out to dinner? What on earth is going on?

”Wow. Smooth. I like him.” Jungkook has the audacity to laugh at your dumbfounded expression acting like all of this is not his fault entirely.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS (!)

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jiminssizzles · 4 years

Text

Track 7: Ours

Summary: Being inlove is easy, but being inlove with a memory? Not so much.

Pairing: Namjoon x OC

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Slight Smut

Rating: 18+

Warning: Implied smut, MCD

Word count: 14.5K+

Author’s Note: The mixtape is slowly coming to an end. For everyone who’s still here, thank you! :) For this track, I am so sorry.

Thank you @minyoongail for the amazing moodboards all throughout the mixtape. We’re almost done. >:((

Part of my TAYLOR SWIFT MIXTAPE SERIES

Tracklist:

Intro: Story of Us

Track 1: Daylight >> Park Jimin

Track 2: Afterglow >> Min Yoongi

Track 3: I Almost Do >> Kim Taehyung

Interlude: You Are In Love

Track 4: Getaway Car >> Jung Hoseok

Track 5: Begin Again >> Jeon Jungkook

Track 6: Delicate >> Kim Seokjin

Track 7: Ours >> Kim Namjoon (You’re here!!)

Outro:

If there’s anything that Namjoon loves in New Zealand, it’s the morning air. He loves walking to school every morning. It gives him a chance to think things through while appreciating the scenery around him, but first, coffee.

Namjoon saw a poster of an art exhibit happening at the 7th floor of the building where he buys cheap coffee. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket to check if he still has spare cash to spend. Seeing that it's only enough until tomorrow, he shrugged it off by entering the building. It was his first time entering the building since his cheap coffee is available in the convenience store here in the ground floor with a different entrance.

The lobby is spacious, not too luxurious but not too simple either. He stood there for a while, contemplating if he should just go directly to school or not. For the second time that morning, he shrugged it off.

He was about to press the elevator button but someone beat him to it. Namjoon stared at the girl beside him, recognizing her from the same school he's in. It's her eyes that he remembered seeing.

The elevator door opened and they both went inside. This time, he beat the girl into pressing the 7th floor on the elevator button. The girl just smiled at him and stared at the floor. The silence inside the elevator wasn't awkward, it actually felt funny, causing Namjoon to smile on his own.

When the elevator door opened, Namjoon saw the girl walk to the left. He just went right, deciding to stare at the paintings on the walls first before going to the middle of the area wherein the sculptures were placed.

Upon arriving in the middle of the exhibit, he stared in awe at the highlight of the event. It was a big, chiseled sculpture of a couple holding hands. One might say that it's common, but Namjoon had his mouth open with all the details seen. The sculpture's title is 'Morning Air', which is why Namjoon was in awe, because the artist made the sculpture look like the wind is blowing the couple away.

How could the artist make it look so real when this is just a rock? Amazing, Namjoon thought. His phone vibrated, which means he only has five minutes before his first class starts. Namjoon carefully turned around, careful not to bump into any of the sculptures, but he bumped to a girl instead.

It's the same girl from a while ago. He doesn't know why, but he never forgets her brown eyes. Namjoon thinks the girl recognized him too because she smiled at him, then slightly bowed.

"Annyeong, I think we've met. I'm Cammie." She said.

Namjoon sat upright on his own bed, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. There she is again, the love of his life, in his dreams, Cammie. Checking the time and seeing that it’s only 3 AM, he tried to sleep again.

He couldn’t. Not when he dreams of Cammie every night ever since Yoongi introduced Gail to them. Not when he hears Gail talk about art everytime with Yoongi, all he ever sees is Cammie’s enthusiasm again. Not when Gail reminds him so much of Cammie, how they are similar and different at once.

The next time he opened his eyes, it’s already 6 AM. Namjoon felt like he didn’t sleep at all, thus, he got out of bed groggily and made his way downstairs. Entering the kitchen, he found Taehyung opening the refrigerator door. “You didn’t come home last night.” Namjoon said.

Taehyung just shook his head, “Slept in another house. Anyway, why are you up early?” He asked. Namjoon was about to answer when Taehyung suddenly smiled at someone behind hima, “Good morning, Gail!” Gail just smiled at Taehyung and Namjoon before entering the bathroom.

“You okay?” Taehyung asked Namjoon. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be okay?” He grabbed the bread on top of the refrigerator and made toast. Gail got out of the bathroom and sat on the bar stool beside Taehyung. “Didn’t know you two got up early.” She said. Taehyung began explaining why he wasn’t home last night, his voice just loud enough for the two of them to hear.

Namjoon is busy getting his cereal when Yoongi enters the kitchen, “You’re up early.” Yoongi said, making Taehyung sigh since that’s the third time he heard that today. “I just got home,” he replied. “I haven’t slept yet,” Namjoon answered before sitting on one of the bar stools beside Gail, carrying both cereals and toast.

“Do you want cereals? Or toast?” He asked Gail, but Yoongi answered for her. “She wants bacon and scrambled eggs for breakfast which I will cook for her later.” Namjoon simply nodded, looking at Gail who stood up from the bar stool, “Actually, I might sleep a little more.” She walked to Yoongi and held his hand, “Come, baby.”

Namjoon watched them walk away. Taehyung moved to the bar stool beside Namjoon and nudged him, “Yoongi-hyung’s never gonna let her go. I just feel it.” Namjoon smiled in defeat, “I know that he’s never going to let her go.”

Namjoon didn’t get any sleep that day either. He opted to just work his ass off until the wee hours of the night so he’ll drift to sleep easily. Pulling the box under his bed, he removed the lid and smiled at his collection of post it notes and mini drawings from Cammie.

Jimin passed by and saw Namjoon sitting on his bed with the box on his lap. Seems like Namjoon forgot to close the door, but Jimin doesn’t want to intrude so he still knocks. Namjoon immediately looked up to him, “Hyung, I’m going to take Eunice out. It’s her last night here. Everyone’s out too. Do you want to come with us?”

Namjoon gave Jimin a smile. Jimin’s always so considerate when it comes to them and it’s time they give back to him, “Are you asking if I’m okay to be your third wheel? Naah. Go enjoy your date night!” Jimin walked over to Namjoon and being Bangtan’s angel, he hugged Namjoon, “Ya! You know I don’t do affections!” Namjoon said, making Jimin laugh.

“Are those from Cammie-noona?” Jimin asked, eyes on the box. Namjoon just nodded, “She likes making memories from little things.” Jimin pointed at one of the little papers, “This one’s my favorite! That’s the lake that we saw in New Zealand, right?”

Namjoon didn’t say a word and just stared at the paper, Jimin immediately rubbing his back, making the mood lighter, “Don’t worry, hyung! When Eunice flies out of this country, I’ll be your mini again.” He teased, making Namjoon jokingly punch his arm. “Park Jimin, go date your girlfriend and stop flirting with me! I. am. okay.” Jimin laughed while Namjoon pushed him outside of the room.

Before closing the door, Namjoon held Jimin’s arm, “Thanks, Jimin. Really. Enjoy your night.” Jimin smiled and winked at him before running downstairs. After closing the door, Namjoon thought about how Jimin helped him through it all.

He grabbed the little paper that Jimin said was his favorite and stared at it. He remembers what happened on that day clearly, as if it happened yesterday.

After discovering that both of them are exchange students in New Zealand and they only have 6 months there, 2 months left to be exact, Namjoon and Cammie decided to make the most of it by visiting a different cafe or a different park every weekend.

It was their last weekend in New Zealand when Namjoon asked Cammie if they could go to the park near the lake. “I promise, we’ll not walk too much!” Namjoon said, raising his right hand up to show Cammie that he’s sure. “You promise? You know that I don’t have the energy for long walks.” Cammie said, removing the blanket on her and walking to the bathroom.

Cammie closed the door on Namjoon’s face, but Namjoon kept smiling. “I know that you don’t have the energy for long walks! You always hitch on my bike whenever I go cycling!” Namjoon decided to fix Cammie’s bed since he’s the one who woke her up. He lives a block away from her, but he’s always spending his time in Cammie’s apartment.

Cammie opened the bathroom door to get her bath towel, “I don’t always hitch on your bike! You’re the one who wanted me to hitch just so I will hug you.” She bluntly said which made Namjoon laugh. “Fair point. Now, go take a bath.” He gently pushed her inside the bathroom and closed the door.

Smiling to himself, he thought that maybe, he isn’t the only one falling in love. While Cammie is busy taking a bath, Namjoon takes it upon himself to grab the picnic blanket from the kitchen cabinet. He also took out the basket that they can use to bring food. He’s always there and he pretty much knows where everything is.

By the time Cammie went out of the bathroom, Namjoon already finished making preparations. She dried her hair with a towel then she saw what Namjoon prepared. “Let me guess, you took out the things because you want me to do the food?”

Namjoon nodded, Cammie rolling her eyes, “You rascal.” Namjoon laughed and stared at her as she went to work. He observed how gently she does everything, his mind slowly drifting to her little paintings which she does intricately.

Cammie’s the type of girl that always has a notepad or post-it notes in her bag along with her mini painting set which allows her to paint at any given time and at any given place. Whenever she paints when she’s with Namjoon, the boy will try his best to get any of her works, but she’ll always reply with, “No, this is my memory of today.”

She finished preparing the snacks so Namjoon grabbed the picnic essentials and opened the door for Cammie. As soon as the sunlight hit her skin, Namjoon’s world stopped. He knows that the sun is high above them, but why does he feel like he’s staring straight at it?

Cammie snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, “Namjoon! Let’s go.” She said, Namjoon slowly coming back to reality. He loves her eyes, especially when they’re outside and her eyes turn into this light brown color. He thinks he will always love that about her, the way she shines and the way her eyes are everything to him.

While walking to the park, Namjoon took the courage to hold her hand. Terrified that he might get rejected, he bit his lower lip and kept his eyes straight ahead. Cammie felt Namjoon’s grasp on her hand. Her eyes automatically looked up to his face then trailed down to their holding hands. She smiled at him and held his hand too, “Now, we’re like that sculpture named ‘Morning Air’.” She pointed out.

Namjoon swore that made his insides melt. The fact that she remembers that sculpture from their first meeting, he’s sure that he has to make her his. Upon arriving at the park, he spread the picnic blanket on the grass, Cammie immediately sitting down. “Are you sure you don’t want to sit under the sun?”

“I like tree shades better.” She said. Namjoon sat beside her, both of them facing the lake. “We got a few days before going back to Korea. What can we do on our remaining days here?” She asked Namjoon, giving him a sandwich that she made earlier.

“Hmmm,” Namjoon drummed his fingers on his jaw, exaggerating the way he’s thinking, “Maybe we could go try extreme activities?” He asked, Cammie immediately shaking her head. “I don’t like extreme activities or sports of any kind. I’m sorry.” She sadly said. “Hey, don’t say sorry! That’s okay. We’ll just have to spend more time together since we’re done passing our requirements in school. You’re done, right?”

Cammie nodded, “Okay. I’ll teach you how to cook!” She offered. Namjoon instantly agreed, his heart beating loudly on his chest as he’s itching to say how he feels about her. Now or never, Namjoon, he thought to himself.

“I’d also like to make you mine.. if that’s okay?” Cammie’s head immediately turned to Namjoon, “What?” He can hear his heartbeat now in his chest, scared again that he might get rejected. Namjoon cleared his throat, “I said, I want to make you mine.. and I’ll be yours too.. if that’s okay.”

Cammie narrowed her eyes at Namjoon and sighed, “What if we get back to Korea and you realize that you don’t like me anymore? We have different lives in Korea, Joon. It’s not always like this, like here in New Zealand.”

“We usually do things blindly, Cammie, if we’ll always know, then where’s the fun in that? I want to make it work, I hope you give me that chance, but if you don’t, that’s okay too. We’ll stay friends.” He confessed. Namjoon played with the grass beside him, facing away from Cammie, obviously scared and embarrassed at what he just said.

Cammie rubbed on her chest, feeling her heart beating out of her chest, “Namjoon,” she said, almost a whisper. “Hm?” He looked back at her. Cammie sighed again and held Namjoon’s hand, “Today’s our first day then.”

Namjoon smiled at her and gave her a kiss on her cheek. His first kiss to her, to be exact. With blushing cheeks, Cammie pulled out her small notepad from her bag and began painting the lake in front of them.

Showing Namjoon her simple painting of the lake and the park, she chuckled, “Look, Namjoon, this is what it looks like now that today is the best day of my life.”

Present; 2019

Eunice gave all of the boys a hug before entering Yoongi’s car as she’s set to leave Korea today. When Eunice finally got to Namjoon, he smiled at her teasingly, “I’m glad you’re leaving. Jiminie told me that when you leave, he’s going to be my Mini again.” He teased her, Jimin immediately smacking Namjoon’s arm, “Hyuuung!!! Don’t listen to him, bubba!” He defended himself. Eunice just smiled, “As long as you keep him away from the girls, I’m good, oppa.”

Namjoon watched Yoongi and Gail walk to the car. Yoongi even opened the passenger’s door for Gail. Jimin wrapped his right arm around Eunice’s lower body, his hand gently grabbing her waist, his thumb rubbing on her curve. Namjoon saw Jimin pull her closer before planting a hard kiss on her cheek, making the both of them giggle and run to the car. Namjoon suddenly remembered Cammie in 2015.

May; 2015

“Cammie, are you sure?” Namjoon is on his way to Cammie’s house to fetch her. They still have a few more days before Namjoon leaves for The Red Bullet Tour and it will be the longest they will be apart from each other ever since they’ve become a couple. “Yes, I’m sure! All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go.”

Namjoon chuckled, “Silly. I’m on my way now.” He stared at the cab driver who is staring at the traffic lights, waiting for it to turn green. “Did you tell your parents about this?” Namjoon asked, but he just heard Cammie laugh on the other line. “Namjoon, just.. fetch me here. Okay? I love you. I’ll be waiting.”

Cammie waited for his answer, “I love you too!” She ended the call and Namjoon was left with his thoughts again. When they got back from New Zealand, Cammie immediately introduced him to her parents. Her parents smiled sweetly to him, but the disapproval did not escape Namjoon’s eyes. It seems like they’re just trying to get along with him for Cammie, but if they were to choose, they would not have him as Cammie’s boyfriend.

It’s hard for them to see each other, not because they don’t want to, but because Cammie’s parents rarely allow her to go out with him. They could’ve ended it right then and there, but Namjoon and Cammie? They found happiness on the random phone messaging, on the little notes they gave each other when they finally saw each other, on the little paintings that Cammie does whenever she wanted to preserve a memory.

The cab stopped a block away from Cammie’s house, Namjoon just texting her that he’s already there. Minutes later, he saw Cammie running towards the car, a bag hanging on her shoulder. He opened the car door for her and she quickly ran inside the car. She was panting when he sat beside her, “Wait, let me breathe.” Namjoon closed the car door and told the driver to go. He rubbed Cammie’s back as consolation, “Is it your asthma again?”

“Yes, yes. Gods, I hate running!” She said, almost a whisper. “Don’t run again, hon.” Namjoon said, pulling her to a hug. “My asthma can suck it up, I will always run to you.” Cammie answered, Namjoon rubbing his cheeks as a joke of blushing.

They made their way to Namjoon’s own unit that his parents let him use even before Bangtan’s debut. Namjoon carried Cammie’s things when they went out of the cab. After Namjoon paid the cab driver, he held Cammie’s hand then walked to his unit.

He settled the takeout food on the dining table while Cammie looked around his unit. “Why is this the first time again that you brought me here?” She asked. Namjoon just chuckled, “It’s because I’m always busy practicing and your parents rarely allow you to go out.” She hugged him from behind while he’s opening the food containers, “But I still go with you, right? Aigoo, your girlfriend loves you so much.”

Namjoon shook his head, “My girlfriend should know that I love her so much more than she loves me.” He turned around and faced her, his wide smile showing, his dimples on full display. Cammie stared at her boyfriend lovingly, “Why is everything cuter when it’s young?”

Namjoon’s eyes suddenly widened, “Ya! Are you saying that I’ll get ugly when I get older?!” He asked with a grumpy face. Cammie laughed, “Dumb. You’ll become more handsome than you are now, and I’d like to see that, hon.”

She sat on the dining chair and pulled Namjoon’s chair near her, “Let’s eat close to each other.” Namjoon sat beside her and joked, “Might as well eat each other.” Cammie flicked a finger on his cheek, “I’ll insert a chopstick through your throat, Namjoon.”

“How are you so gentle yet so violent?!” He asked before eating. They ate in silence, occasionally nudging and teasing each other. After eating, Namjoon talked about their preparation for the tour while Cammie listened intently. “Sounds like a lot of fun and a lot to look forward to,” she said.

“I’m excited to go on tour, hon! I’m just not excited that I’ll be far from you.” Namjoon sighed while Cammie held both of his hands. “Hon, my parents are so strict that I can’t even run on our own lawn. Don’t worry, I’ll be safe and sound.”

They moved to the couch to talk some more, “Yeah, about that, why are they so strict and you still do what you want?” Cammie drummed her fingers on her jaw, “Hmm, maybe because I’m hard headed? I make it up to them all the time.” Namjoon just shrugged, “I didn’t know you are hard headed.” He said.

“All these years? My goodness, Joon.” She exclaimed. “What’s your first impression of me?” Namjoon suddenly asked. “A cool guy that loves art.” He smiled at her answer, “Well? Am I really that?”

“No,” she straight up said. Namjoon almost frowned but she spoke again, “You’re the coolest guy that makes the best art.” His dimples showed up again as he smiled, “What’s your first impression of me?” Cammie asked him.

“My last,” he immediately said.

“I love the riddles that you speak.” She rolled her eyes and tried her best to hide her smile. She stood up to get water but Namjoon grabbed her waist, making her face him. They stared at each other for quite a while, Namjoon rubbing her waist with his finger. “Why are you turning away? Smile, it’s my favorite thing about you.” He said again before planting a soft kiss on her lips.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled his face closer, “Liar. You told me that your favorite thing about me are my eyes.” He threw his head back laughing before planting soft kisses on both of Cammie’s eyes, “They are! You are my favorite, all of you.”

“Really?”

“Really!”

Cammie sighed and grazed her finger on Namjoon’s dimple, “Show me.”

The next thing they know, they were under the covers. Neither of them know what they are doing, but could they really stop something that felt so right? Namjoon thought that seeing Cammie naked would make his hormones go crazy, but it didn’t, instead, he felt like she’s baring her soul to him -- the same way he’s baring his soul to her.

Sex for the first time would’ve been sloppy or steamy, but theirs felt more magical, satisfying, and most of all fulfilling. “So, how was it?” Cammie asked while she snuggled closer to Namjoon’s chest, Namjoon hugging her tighter. “How was what?” He asked.

“The sex?” Her voice is muffled as she continues to plant soft kisses on his chest. “That was sex?” Namjoon teased. Cammie looked up to him, her forehead creased, “It wasn’t sex?” Cammie thought about it for a second time, thinking if she thought wrong of sex.

“It was love making, hon.” Namjoon whispered. Cammie didn’t bother to hide her smile anymore, “Wow, as our years stack up, we become cornier.” He shook his head, “Maybe I’m getting better with words.”

“Aigoo, I love you so much, my best song writer.”

Present; 2019

“Hyung, aren’t you going inside? Don’t tell me that Eunice grew that much on you already?” Taehyung nudged Namjoon’s arms before walking inside. Taehyung already turned away when a delivery van suddenly stopped in front of their house. Namjoon watched Taehyung face the gate again, “Oh! I think that’s the painting that I bought.”

Namjoon felt a sting to his heart again, remembering how much Taehyung loves pulling Cammie to each and every art museum. The painting was brought out of the van, but it was too big for Taehyung to carry and the boys don’t want other people entering their house. “Hyung! Help!” Taehyung shouted, which had Namjoon coming back to his senses.

Namjoon helped Taehyung carry the painting inside the house. As they removed the cloth hovered above it, Taehyung clapped while Namjoon just stared at it blankly. “Really, the Simpsons?” He asked Taehyung who’s still clapping. “What? Cammie-noona would love it!” Taehyung exclaimed. A thought suddenly came to Namjoon which he voiced out too, “2016.”

Taehyung nodded, “Yeah, hyung. 2016.” His eyes are still fixated on the painting. “It was 2016 when Cammie-noona went with me to that Simpsons exhibit while Lexi was busy practicing her volleyball sets in our living room.”

“She had fun that day, didn’t she?” He asked, holding on to every piece of memory that Cammie has. “Of course, hyung! I’m the social butterfly here, right? We even bought a matching Simpsons shirt which made you jealous!”

“Pabo.” Namjoon whispered, laughing at how stupid that reason to be jealous back then, but what can he do? “I’ll get my tools first, hyung. I’ll hang this somewhere here.” Taehyung turned his back on Namjoon then faced him again. “I miss her too, hyung.” He smiled, tight-lipped.

Namjoon sighed, “Yeah, me too. A lot.”

Namjoon and Taehyung finished hanging the Simpsons painting on the wall, Taehyung immediately asking Namjoon to take a picture of him in front of it. The other boys came, Lexi holding a box of Uno cards. “Let’s play!” She said, taking a seat beside Jungkook. Ten minutes into the game, Yoongi, Gail and Jimin entered the house. Jimin wordlessly went straight to his room, leaving Yoongi and Gail behind. Namjoon saw the couple walking with them to the living room.

The two sat beside Lexi who’s currently leaning on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Tomorrow’s your last day of vacation, boys, what will we do?” Lexi asked the bunch. They usually celebrate the last day of their vacations by eating outside or doing fun filled activities. “I say, we go skydiving!” Jungkook suggested.

Namjoon was about to reject but Seokjin was quicker, “Ya! What is this? Run BTS?!” Unlike Jungkook, there are hyungs that don't like extreme adventures. “Can we stay home?” Yoongi interrupted. Namjoon noticed the slight pleading in his voice, “..if that’s okay with you, guys. I swear, I’ll cook our meals.” Yoongi added. Everyone just looked at each other, oblivious to the fact that Yoongi just wants more time with Gail, but Namjoon knows that he wants to fix his mess with Gail.

“Alright, hyung. I still need to finish songs, anyway.” Namjoon was the first to agree. As much as he sees Cammie in Gail, he knows that she’s not his and he just wants Yoongi to fix their mess. It’s bad to admit, but it’s also for his heart to let go of the hope that he can get another Cammie in his life. Can he really get another Cammie in his life? He thought.

“Besides, Jimin might not be in the mood.” Hoseok added. “He told me that they got into a fight the other night because he doesn’t want Eunice to leave.” Taehyung blabbered. Lexi was quick to flick her best friend in the forehead, “Why are you so talkative?” She asked.

“The other night?” Gail asked, a sly smile forming on her lips. “Yes? Why?” Taehyung asked. Yoongi is just about to answer when Jimin emerges in the living room. “That was that night, hyung, and whatever you’re going to say, don’t say it.” Yoongi just gave Jimin a sheepish smile then went back to talking with the others.

Namjoon felt the urge to help Yoongi so he said something that will help him prove his love for Gail, then he thought of the one thing that Yoongi kept through the years -- his songs. “Are you done with your song, hyung?” Namjoon asked Yoongi. Gail turned her head, listening attentively. Yoongi wanted to smile at Namjoon, but he kept his cool. “Almost. It’s both easy and hard to write about myself, though.” He answered. Namjoon looked at Gail and gave her a smile, “Yoongi-hyung is used to writing songs about you, instead of himself.”

“Really?” Namjoon saw the excitement in her eyes, her pupils dilating while staring at Yoongi, looking surprised. Yoongi did not speak after that. He just took Gail’s hand and pulled her into his work room. Namjoon smiled as he watched them walk towards the room. Taehyung sat beside him, rubbing his back, “That was cool, hyung.”

Bon Voyage; 2017

Bangtan’s Bon Voyage trip in Hawaii is almost coming to an end, but the staff made sure that they get to eat and experience the Polynesian Cultural Center. The boys are in awe while staring at the statues on the way to the event's place. Upon arriving at the event’s place, they saw a lot of people gathered already per table -- their table being in the front row.

Walking to the table, Namjoon already saw the maknae line eyeing the food on the buffet table. After sitting down, they are still looking around, observing the people and the place. An usher came to their table, telling them that they can already get food from the buffet table. They didn’t need to be told twice, they all went to get food, returned to the table and started eating.

When they’re almost finished eating, an emcee suddenly comes on stage. Bangtan paid attention while the emcee talked to the crowd, occasionally asking questions. They watched the performance, Namjoon noticing that Taehyung accidentally spilled his drink on Jungkook’s lap. He laughed with them.

The emcee suddenly said, “For those who are already engaged, please stand up.” Seokjin, who’s sitting beside Namjoon, pulled him up to stand. The both of them are laughing, thinking about Rianne and Cammie. The rest of the Bangtan boys laughed with them, saving the reactions since there are cameras. They just said, “Ya, ya! Sit down!” Namjoon and Seokjin finally sat down, Seokjin winking at Namjoon before whispering, “I’m going to let the girls know that we just announced our engagement to the world.” He joked. Namjoon slapped his arm playfully, “Drop it, hyung.” He said, but still laughed with Seokjin.

“You did what?!” Cammie laughed while staring at Namjoon on her phone screen. “Jin-hyung pulled me to stand with him when they asked for people that are already engaged!” Namjoon repeated, Cammie rolled her eyes. “Oppa is really crazy, sometimes.” She said. Namjoon was about to say something else when he heard Rianne speak, “Joon, Cammie says Seokjin is crazy, but look at her too happy face. Her heart’s fluttering, I’m going to bet.”

“Unnie!” Cammie immediately ended her other video call with Rianne. She’s on a video call with Rianne on her laptop when Namjoon called her on her phone. “Sorry about that.” She smiled at Namjoon while he stared at her, “I miss you.” Namjoon whispered, hugging a pillow. “I haven’t seen you since we started the Wings Tour.”

“You’re coming home in a few days, right? See you soon, hon!” She tried her best to be cheerful, but Namjoon knows how much they miss each other. “I’m sorry that we have to miss each other like this.” He voiced out. Cammie shook her head, “Don’t say sorry. If we don’t miss each other, would you be able to write I Need U with Yoongi-oppa?”

Namjoon felt his heart soften more, “Thank you for being understanding, even if it hurts you.” Cammie turned to lay on her bed comfortably, “Ya. What are you saying? We work in the same company and I totally understand.” Namjoon just stared at her before sighing, “Hon, waiting is going to hurt every time, but I know you’ll always come back.” Cammie whispered before planting a kiss on the phone’s front cam as her kiss to Namjoon.

Present; 2019

Namjoon suddenly opened his eyes, realizing that his alarm was blaring for quite some time now. He was about to close his eyes again when he heard his phone call ringtone. Grabbing his phone, he saw Bang PD’s caller ID. “PDnim,” he said. “Are you still asleep? I sent you a text half an hour ago, Joon.” Bang PD said in a gentle tone. “Jinjja? I’ll check. We’re on our way there.” He answered before Bang PD hung up.

He sat at the edge of his bed, frustrated that he can’t sleep more. He knows it’s not healthy to dwell on his dreams about Cammie every night, but can he really help himself? In his dreams, Cammie brought up the time he wrote I Need U. He pulled out the box under his bed that contains all of Cammie’s small paintings and notes, Namjoon looking for that note from that video call night. He pulled it out and stared at it.

Namjoon,

It’s hard when you’re not here, but at least you’ll always come back. I’m so in love with you.

Cammie.

Namjoon let a faint smile escape his lips, “You know what’s harder, hon? Loving a memory.” He whispered. The door suddenly opened, revealing Taehyung who just finished taking a bath. “Your turn, hyung.” Namjoon just nodded and arranged the box under his bed.

Namjoon walked out of his room, holding his phone up. “Bang PD-nim sent me a text, we have a team meeting in an hour. Let’s go.” Hoseok stood up, followed by the maknae line. Yoongi and Jin are already waiting in the car. They filed in the car, one by one, “There’s a reason we workout, and this is it.” Namjoon joked, making the others laugh. Yoongi started driving as soon as he heard the last car door close. “Rianne’s coming home in a few days,” Seokjin announced, obviously wanting to smile.

Namjoon instantly smiled, remembering how close Rianne and Cammie are. He loves it when he gets to talk to Rianne because she always has something to tell him about Cammie, which they get to tease each other about after. “Jinjja? It’s been that long? I miss noona!” Jungkook answered, clapping his hands. “Is noona a doctor already?” Taehyung asked. “2 more years, but she told me she misses me so she’s going to spend her break here.” Seokjin smugly said, as if making his members jealous that his girlfriend is coming over.

“I’m sure Lexi misses her too!” Taehyung added, “Oh shit, I miss Lexi too.” Taehyung held his chest and acted shocked. “You just saw each other last night! You don’t get to say that beside me when my girlfriend is in another country!” Jimin smacked his arm, making the boys laugh. Namjoon shook his head and stared at the houses they’re passing by, at least your girlfriend is just in another country, he thought then sighed.

Yoongi parked the car smoothly in front of BigHit, the boys coming out of the car one by one but still waited for each other before going inside the building. Namjoon came out first then he waited for Jungkook, “I haven’t seen your tattoo artist jogging around here for a while.” He said. Jungkook just shrugged, “Yeah, hyung, it’s been a while.” Namjoon saw longing in Jungkook's eyes, but Jungkook did not push the topic and pulled him inside the building.

Hitman Bang entered the conference room first, followed by Sejin. The two sat in front of them then started whispering at each other. “Oh come on, why are you whispering in front of us?” Seokjin asked, the others bit their lip to hold back their laughter. Si Hyuk smiled at them, cutting the conversation he was having with Sejin. “I’m back from my vacation, boys. We can start talking about how you want this comeback to be. I already have a list of shows that want you in the early 2020 and we’ll confirm which shows you want. I also have the list of award show schedules for end 2019, we can already discuss the stages that you want to do. Also, I have to talk to Jimin after this meeting -- alone.” He announced. The boys were just nodding along, but all eyes landed on Jimin when he said that he needed to talk to him alone.

After their meeting, Jimin went to see Bang PD alone while the six of them walked towards the practice room. Sejin caught up to Namjoon and asked if he could ask him something. “What is it?” Namjoon acknowledged. “Uhm, I know this is kinda personal. I just want to know if you met someone lately?” He asked.

Namjoon’s eyebrows furrowed, “Lately? I think not. What do you mean?” He asked, confusion evident in his voice. Sejin just shook his head, “Nothing. I’m just wondering if you’ve already moved on. I’m here for you, Joon.” Sejin tapped his shoulder while Namjoon just looked at him with a smile, “Aigoo, is this about Cammie?" Sejin nodded, but Namjoon shook his head, "I’m okay. Stop worrying about me.”

On the day of Rianne’s arrival, Bangtan’s dance practice ended at 6 PM. Jimin, Taehyung and Yoongi are all rushing home, Jungkook getting annoyed by their nagging to drive faster. “Ya! It’s not like you don’t touch them! Why do you need to see them exercise?!” Namjoon thought about Jungkook’s innocence and how much more they need to teach him and help him with, “The non-stop skinship is just in the early stages of relationship, Kook, when you get that feeling of settling down, it lessens.” He told Jungkook.

“I don’t think that’ll happen for me and Eunice even if we already feel like settling down.” Jimin immediately objected. Namjoon just said that it lessens because that’s what social media says and that’s what studies say, but in his reality, even before the last time he saw Cammie, they were nothing but clingy. Taehyung just laughed, “Well, considering that you’re both eternal flirts to each other, I agree. For me and Lexi, it’s enough that we’re together.” He said before looking at Yoongi. Yoongi just raised his eyebrows, “What?”

Hoseok asked Yoongi, “What about you and Gail, hyung?” Yoongi just smiled, “We’re…. private, really.” Jungkook innocently asked, “What do you do in private, hyung?” Yoongi reached forward to tap Jungkook’s head, “We just cling to each other, baby boy.” The statement made all of them laugh because Yoongi doesn’t really share much and Jungkook’s too innocent to ask.

Namjoon, Hoseok and Jungkook opted to just drop Jimin, Yoongi and Taehyung at their house and go out again to buy groceries. Without Yoongi and Jin, they just bought the basics and the ingredients that they usually use in the house. It didn’t take long for Jungkook to tap Namjoon’s shoulder, “Hyung, may I go get banana milk?”

“You’re asking me because you want me to pay for it right?” Namjoon clarified, Hoseok laughing beside him and waving Namjoon off. “Go get your banana milk, Kook, I’ll pay for it.” Hoseok said. Both Namjoon and Hoseok watched him skip happily to the refrigerators.

“I’ll pay for it,” Namjoon nudged Hoseok, indicating that he’s just messing around with Jungkook. “You and Jin always spoil him. Let me do it this time.” Hoseok said, but Namjoon is quick to counter, “Cammie would’ve done it, so I’ll always do it.” He answered.

Hoseok saw Jungkook walking back to them so he quickly changed the topic, “Should we buy our supply for our weekend trip too?” Hoseok asked. Jungkook answered quickly, “Hyung, I saw Toshimaru. She’s here. May I go after her and leave the groceries to you?”

Namjoon smiled, “Why do you even ask? Go!” Jungkook didn’t need to be told twice, he’s quickly on his feet while the two watched him go. “We’re going to teach him a lot of things.” Hoseok whispered. “Introduce your girlfriend to us first before meddling with Jungkook’s lovelife.” Namjoon said, Hoseok nodding. “I’ll take her with us this weekend, okay? She’s Jin-hyung’s cousin after all.”

“Gombae!!” All twelve of them shout at the top of their lungs before downing a shot of soju. All of the boys have their partners with them except Namjoon and Jungkook which made them partners in every game that they’re playing for the weekend getaway. They’ve been drinking for 3 hours now which made everyone pretty drunk except for the ones who don't get drunk easily -- Seokjin, Jimin, Eunice, Yoongi and Lexi.

With everyone else getting tipsy and so close to being drunk, Lexi was the first one to pull Taehyung from his chair, “Stand up, jagi. You’ve had enough,” Taehyung pouted, not wanting to miss any fun, “But it’s too early! Besides, we can sleep in tomorrow.”

Namjoon remembered all those times that Lexi and Cammie didn’t allow Taehyung to drink because his tolerance is low and they always designate him as the driver, “Tae, listen to your girlfriend. She knows you best.” Namjoon said while tapping his shoulder. Taehyung pouted again and waved to the boys before wrapping his arm around Lexi and walking upstairs with her.

Gail and Eunice both stood up to get more food in the kitchen while Maine and Rianne are just talking about the past. “Too bad you didn’t meet Cammie! You’re going to love her.” Rianne said to Maine. Namjoon immediately turned his attention to Rianne and Maine. “Who’s Cammie again?” Maine asked, not in a sober state anymore. “Namjoon’s girlfriend! It’s nice that we’re a lot here now. Before, it’s just me, Cammie, Jeongyeon and Lexi.. and Lexi’s not even Taehyung’s girlfriend back then plus Jeongyeon was always busy as an idol.”

Namjoon spaced out, flashbacks after flashbacks flooding through his mind along with the alcohol in his system. The last audible thing he heard was Jungkook saying that Jeongyeon reminds him of Eunice so much. It felt heavy for Namjoon. He bit his lower lip to suppress the tears that are begging to come out and he stared at his drink.

He wanted to not feel this way anymore, he wanted to get something out, something to lessen the burden he’s been carrying for long, “Gail reminds me so much of Cammie. It hurts, sometimes.” He said sometimes, but in reality, the hurt never really left. “Namjoon..” Yoongi sternly said. “I’m sorry, hyung! Can you blame me? They’re almost the same!” Namjoon insisted, frustrated at the thought that he can see someone almost the same as his one true love, but she’s never his to begin with.

Yoongi stood up, “Ya! Ya! Hyung, just.. go upstairs.” Hoseok said, standing between Namjoon and Yoongi. Yoongi scoffed before going inside. Cammie will always be a sore topic for all of them. Namjoon brushed his hair in frustration with a heavy sigh. His eyes are already welling up with tears, “Fuck. It’s been 2 years and it still hurts just the same.”

Rianne held Namjoon’s arms, “I’m sorry for bringing her up, Joon.” She looked at Seokjin, “I’ll stop drinking now.” Hoseok suddenly stood up when he saw that Hoseok’s car was pulling out on the driveway, Maine driving it. “Fuck.” Hoseok said.

“Fuck,” Seokjin said too, running with Hoseok to the garage, but both of them did not make it. “Get Yoongi’s car keys! I’ll call her,” Seokjin commanded. With alcohol in her system, Rianne is not sure what’s happening so she asked Seokjin, “What happened?”

All of them can’t process what’s happening because if there’s something, then only Seokjin and Hoseok know about it. They all stood up from the drinking area and made their way to the living room, Seokjin already alone fiddling with his phone there.

Yoongi went down the stairs, while the others sat in the living room. “Jin-hyung, can you explain to us what really is happening between Hoseok and Maine? What are you all running from?” Yoongi asked, all eyes now looking at Seokjin.

Seokjin sighed, “Ever since the start of their relationship, I already told them that it’s an endless chase, but the two won’t listen to me.”

“What do you mean, hyung?” Jungkook asked.

“You see, those two met each other in a pub near Hoseok’s apartment.” Seokjin said.

All of them just stared at him, “And?”

“And I can’t just sit here waiting for what will happen next. I’ll tell you guys soon, okay? I’ll follow them.” Seokjin ran upstairs to get his car keys from his room and immediately followed the two. He left Rianne with the others to sober up.

Eunice fixed them all with a cup of coffee. In a short while, Jimin and Yoongi came back inside the house. They followed both Hoseok and Seokjin and now they came back with fear in their eyes, “There was an accident.” Yoongi mumbled incoherently. “What?” Gail asked, unsure of what she heard. “Maine-noona, car crash.” Jimin said, still staring into blank space.

Namjoon is the first to get up, pulling the others. “We need to go to the hospital. Please. Let’s go.” He said. He wanted to be there for Hoseok and Seokjin, he just wanted to be there. With a heavy heart, all of them made their way to the hospital.

When they entered the emergency room, Taehyung and Jungkook were quick to catch Seokjin when he fell to his knees. “Hyung, hyung, what is it?” Yoongi asked. Seokjin shook his head, “She.. didn’t.. make.. it. My cousin is a fighter, why can’t she make it?” Seokjin said, breaking into a mess of sobs. Rianne rubbed his back and Seokjin immediately buried his face on her neck, crying like a kid.

Namjoon felt something clench in his heart. Can they really experience this all over again? Can they really nurse a broken heart all over again? He knows that the boys had a hard time with him, but he is their leader, so he had to stand up for himself. Now, all he could do is be there for Hoseok.

Hoseok tugged gently on Maine’s hand, “Babe.. wake up.” Namjoon walked to him and rubbed his back, comforting him, but Hoseok just cried hard that it made the maknaes cry too. They’ve never seen him this broken.

“Charmaine, I told you that we will last.. Didn’t you tell me that we’ll get married as soon as I want? Baby, wake up, let’s go home.” Hoseok said, still tugging on her hand. “Hyung, she’s gone..” Namjoon whispered, not wanting to startle him. Even as he said those lines, he felt his heart shatter into pieces again. It was like a rewind of 2018, wherein Jimin was the one who told him the exact same words, “Hyung, she’s gone.”

“Namjoon, you don’t understand, she’s not supposed to die like this! We’re supposed to get married, she’s supposed to live the rest of her life happy with me! Namjoon, it’s unfair! What did I do wrong?” Hoseok ranted while clutching his other hand on his chest. “Hyung, you did not do anything wrong.” Namjoon answered. At that moment, he wasn’t sure if he’s talking to Hoseok or himself.

“But it’s unfair! I cherished her everyday, I adored her everyday, I gave her all the love I have every. damn. day. but I still lost her. Fuck. It fucking hurts.” Hoseok sobbed, Namjoon gave him a tight hug. Seokjin knelt beside Charmaine’s bed, crying his heart out.

“Charmaine, you brat, wake up.” Seokjin said, making the other members cry even harder. It’s hard seeing their two most cheerful hyungs cry like this. Hoseok suddenly blacked out, Namjoon catching him just in time.

After that.. after a long, long, time, Namjoon broke down too.

2017

“Hon!” Namjoon ran to Cammie on a hospital bed, worry painted all over his face. “I’m sorry I couldn’t cook with Lexi in the house.” She said after hugging Namjoon. “My asthma kept on acting up.” She added. Namjoon swiped the stray hair in front of her face, “Should they do something about it now? It keeps on acting up lately.” Namjoon said.

Cammie just shook her head, “Nah. I just need to rest. My parents just need to bring me here because it went overboard last night.” Smiling, she ushered Namjoon to sit beside her. Namjoon sat like a good boy when Cammie grabbed his hand and held it with both of hers, “So, how was your Bon Voyage trip?”

Before answering, Namjoon looked at Cammie’s parents who were just sitting on the couch in the corner of the room. Her father just nodded at him, as if saying that it’s okay, just go. Namjoon started telling her stories about their trip, including the tour. Halfway through his story, both of Cammie’s parents stood up.

Her father walked to Namjoon and handed him the discharge paper, “Cammie can go out of the hospital today. She just needs to see the doctor one last time. I trust that you can take her to our house to rest, right?” Namjoon immediately stood up and bowed, “Yes, sir.”

Cammie’s father laughed and looked at Cammie endearingly, “Call me father. My daughter doesn’t stop talking about marrying you.” Cammie shot his father a bad look, “Appa! Just go!” She said, laughing too. Cammie’s mother held on to her husband’s arm before waving goodbye to both Cammie and Namjoon.

After they left, Namjoon just stared at Cammie, dumbfounded. “Did I just get your parents’ blessing?” He asked, happiness evident in his voice. Cammie just nodded, “What did you do? Did you blackmail them?” Namjoon joked.

Cammie rolled her eyes, “Ya! What am I to you? A gangster? I didn’t do anything!” Namjoon laughed and kissed her forehead, “I was just joking! I never thought that their blessing would come sooner than expected. They look at me as if I’m that one thing that you got wrong in your life.”

He sat beside Cammie and held her hands, “Joon, it’s not theirs to speculate if it’s wrong, if we are wrong. How can we be wrong? We met in New Zealand and we’ve been there for each other ever since. I support you in your craft and you support me in mine. Heck, without you, I might not even consider working in BigHit.”

Namjoon kissed the back of Cammie’s hands, “I’m just happy that we don’t need to hide anymore.” She chuckled, “When did I ever hide us? I was always vocal to my family.” In defeat, Namjoon answered, “Fine, it’s just me hiding us from the world because I don’t want the cameras on you… unless you want me to say it to the world now?”

Cammie smiled, “No need to do that. You, me and all the important people in our lives just need to know and we’ll be fine.” He agreed with her, “In another thought, they don’t need to know that much either. Just you and me, we’ll be fine.” Namjoon added.

“I can agree to that.” Cammie said, Namjoon planting a soft kiss on her lips. “This love is ours, anyway.”

2018

Few months before Bangtan started the Love Yourself World Tour, Cammie decided to treat them all to dinner. They just ordered takeout food and gathered in the dining area. “Since we haven’t really had a proper celebration for the success of your Love Yourself:Her album, consider this as it.” Cammie said, holding up a shot glass of soju. Namjoon snaking his arms around her waist and pulling her to a back hug.

“Noona, you don’t really have to do this..” Jimin said, but Jungkook cut him off, “Jimin-hyung, don’t talk! Thank you for the food, noona!” The maknae line bowed to her before digging in, “What are you waiting for?” She asked Hoseok and Yoongi who haven’t started eating yet. Seokjin is busy setting up the laptop on the far end of the table so Rianne can see all of them.

Lexi wrapped her arms around Cammie, pulling her to a hug, “Let go for a while, oppa!” Namjoon gave them space, “Thank you, unnie!” Lexi said, Cammie hugging her back, “Anytime. Is Jeongyeon not coming?” Lexi just shrugged, “They’re off. Don’t tell Chim that I told you.” The two girls just played it cool, Lexi went back beside Taehyung. Namjoon pulled Cammie again to a back hug and whispered, “Love you.” in her ear. Cammie smiled and planted a kiss on his cheek.

Seokjin finished setting up the laptop and held his shot glass high, “Since Cammie said that this is a celebration for the Her album and she paid for our meal, can we all cheer for Namjoon’s wonder and answer? She designed the album covers, after all.” The boys hooted, teasing Cammie who immediately blushed after Seokjin said that. “Oppa, you don’t really have--” Cammie was immediately cut off by the boys, “Gombae!!!!” They all shouted, making Lexi laugh hard.

They all drank a shot, Lexi looking at everyone, “What will Cammie-unnie and I do when you boys go on tour? We’ll be bored again!” She said. Taehyung wrapped his arms around her shoulders, “Just say you’re going to miss me.” Taehyung teased, Lexi immediately countered, “Nah. I can live without you.”

Taehyung was annoyed, “No, you can’t!” Yoongi laughed hard, “Ya! Ya! You were the one teasing her first! Why are you becoming annoyed?!” While they were laughing, Namjoon pulled Cammie’s small art materials from her bag, “Paint this moment for me?” He urged. She just complied, “I’ll paint the world if you ask me to.”

“Ya, you’re getting good with words too.” Namjoon said. “I’m writing letters.” She confessed. “For me? When will you give it to me?” Namjoon asked, excited. “Someday, hon, I’ll give it to you.” She planted another kiss on his cheek. “Now, eat up.”

A month before the boys go on tour, Namjoon is getting sulky that he can’t put his feelings into words. His head is on Cammie’s lap while she plays with his hair, “Hon, I just don’t think you should be hard on yourself. You’ve already done so much. The idea will come to you unexpectedly.”

Namjoon sighed, deciding that he wanted to talk to Cammie about his worries for the past few weeks. “Cammie,” He heard her steady breathing, “Hm?” Namjoon sat up and faced her, “Why are you always visiting the hospital these past few weeks?” She looked at him, “My father needs to visit his doctor, that’s why I always go with him.”

“But.. why does he cancel his appointments if you’re not the one going with him? Are you sure that he’s the one seeing a doctor?” Namjoon bravely asked. He remembered that there are times where in Cammie refused to go with his father which resulted in his father not pushing through the doctor’s appointment. He’s just wondering why would he cancel it when Cammie’s mother is with him already.

“That’s just because appa likes me present every time.” She answered, as if pushing the topic off. “Are you sure you’re not sick or anything? If you are, I won’t go with the boys on tour.” Namjoon felt Cammie’s pinch on his arm, “Are you out of your mind? Go on a tour, go overseas, go see the world. Live your dreams! I am not sick.”

Namjoon almost pouted in front of her, “I’m sorry, hon. I’m sorry if I feel like you are lying to me. I just want to be always here for you, that’s all. I’d ditch anything for you in a heartbeat.” Cammie felt the familiar sting on her chest after hearing the word heartbeat, “Kim Namjoon, don’t ditch everything for me. I love you so much for that, yes, but we all know your line of work. What will ARMYs feel if they don’t see you on tour? What will you feel when you don’t get the satisfaction of completing a song anymore?”

Sighing, Namjoon nodded, completely getting her point. “There are people trying their best for you, so try to be better for them, not only for me, okay?” She said, rubbing his cheek with her right hand. “I love you with all of my heart, Cammie.” Namjoon said in a heartfelt tone.

“Me too, Joon, with all of my heart.” She said before kissing him stupid. “How about we go out tomorrow? Just you and me.” He asked, Cammie immediately agreeing, “I’d love that! Where are we going?”

“Hm, how about we sleep together tonight, cook breakfast tomorrow morning, go to the local art museum, have a nice lunch date somewh---” Cammie cut him off by kissing his lips, “You know what? Surprise me. I’m good by just knowing half of the day.”

“Let’s go?” Namjoon held her hand as he stood up, pulling her with him. “Are you okay with sleeping with me in my room with Taehyung?” Cammie pushed him out of his studio, “Please, Joon, Lexi does it all the time with Tae. How can I not be okay?”

“But Lexi and Taehyung are not dating.” Namjoon pointed out. “What’s the difference? Those two don’t know that they love each other while we know we love each other and you’re my best friend.” Cammie blurted out. Namjoon held his chest as a joke, “Aigoo, my heart is fluttering.” His dimples are now on full display and Cammie swore that nothing can make her heart swell more.

That night, they comfortably cuddled with each other before sleeping. “Don’t stay awake for too long,” Namjoon said upon seeing Cammie’s expression as if she doesn’t want to sleep yet. “Don’t go to bed.” She said with a pout. Namjoon chuckled, “We’re on the bed already.”

“I mean, don’t sleep yet.” Cammie said, sounding annoyed, but laughing right after. “Say please.” Namjoon teased. “Please, talk to me longer.” She said with a kiss on his dimple. “Okay, you’re the boss.”

The last thing Cammie remembered was Namjoon talking about crabs and why he loves them so much. Of course, she knew about that already, but she likes hearing Namjoon talk. When she woke up the next morning, she saw Namjoon still asleep, so she planted a soft, quiet kiss on his lips before slowly getting up.

Scanning Taehyung’s side of the room, she saw that Lexi slept over too. What time did the two of them get home? She doesn’t know. She was sure that it’s pretty late when she fell asleep last night in Namjoon’s arms. She made her way downstairs quietly and went straight to the kitchen.

She was supposed to just cook for Namjoon, but she can’t help not cooking for the other boys and Lexi as well. While she’s busy cooking, a video call suddenly notified her phone. “Rianne unnie!” She said upon answering. “I miss you, Cammie!” Rianne said, turning on her bed. “Why are you up early?”

“It’s date day, unnie.” She said. “Ooh, let me guess, you can’t help but cook for the others too?” Cammie nodded at Rianne’s question, “I can’t let the children starve.” Rianne laughed at her answer. It has always been a joke to the three of them -- Rianne, Cammie and Lexi, that the boys need their care and attention that’s why they always coo them as children.

They exchanged stories while cooking, “Is everyone still asleep?” Rianne asked, Cammie nodded. “How are you holding up?” She asked Cammie. Of all people, Rianne is the only one who knows about Cammie’s condition. Cammie looked around before answering, “The surgery is in a month or two, I’m not quite sure yet. I just want Namjoon to be on tour when it happens.”

Rianne faked a smile and sighed, “Cammie, I told you this countless times. You can’t keep pushing the surgery just because the boys are still there. Your symptoms are going as bad as it could, you’re having seizures and you’re already fainting. Cammie, listen to me.” Cammie let out a deep breath again, tears starting to pool on the corners of her eyes.

“You still haven’t told Namjoon. Even clues, you haven’t told him anything?” Rianne accused her, but how can she say that she’s wrong? She really doesn’t have the guts to tell him. He’s got a lot on his mind lately and she won’t be the one to weigh him down. “Unnie..” She muttered, but Rianne stopped her.

“Listen to me carefully, Cammie. Don’t cry. I understand, okay? With everything that the boys have to think about, you don’t want to tell him, but please understand that he’s Namjoon. He’s yours, and he deserves to know. Calm down, Cammie.” Rianne cooed, seeing that Cammie is on the verge of tears. “Unnie, I can’t faint here..” She said, almost a whisper.

“I’m sorry for bringing it up, Cammie. Calm down. Do you feel your heartbeat?” Cammie nodded, but she’s holding on to her chest tightly. Both of them spent half an hour in a silent call, just Cammie trying to calm down herself.

Namjoon suddenly entered the kitchen, immediately smiling at her. She smiled at him too. “Is that Rianne noona?” She nodded. Namjoon made his way on her back and waved at Rianne, “Hi noona!” Rianne flashed a wide smile, “Hi, Namjoon! I’ll be going now, Jinnie just went online. See you soon, loves!”

“Okay, unnie!” Cammie cheerfully said before waving at Rianne again, then she hung up.

“You already made breakfast?” Namjoon asked. “Of course, let’s eat! Then you can date me.” She sweetly said before giving a lot of morning kisses to Namjoon. He opened the windows to let air in, “Morning air, just like in New Zealand.” He said.

Cammie placed a plate of pancakes in front of Namjoon, “You still remember the Morning Air? Aigoo, I’d walk to that lake over and over again if it’s with you.” She smiled and Namjoon just had to pull her to a tight hug, shocking her.

“Hon, your heart is pounding way too hard.” Namjoon pointed out, but he didn’t see Cammie’s eyes widening. She tried to play it cool, “You made that, silly. You always make my heart pound out of my chest when you show me how much you love me.”

Halfway through their breakfast, the boys started coming to the kitchen one by one. Namjoon and Cammie did not wait for the others to finish eating as they had places to go. The boys thanked Cammie for the breakfast she cooked and she quickly made her way to the bathroom.

She drank her maintenance pills, took a deep breath and talked to herself. “Just get through today, Cammie, please, for Namjoon, for you.” She whispered to the figure in the mirror. It didn’t take her long to be ready. Some of her clothes are already stashed here along with Lexi’s.

When she got out of the bathroom, Namjoon’s already waiting for her in the living room. He took her hand and kissed it, as if they’re in an old fashioned movie. They waved to the boys before going out of the house.

It is a bright, sunny day, almost the same as the first time they walked to that lake in New Zealand. They made their way to one of the exhibits that are visiting Seoul, Namjoon talking non-stop about almost everything. She loves the way he gets all talkative and baby when he’s with her. She loves how Namjoon is an intelligent person that acts innocent to almost everything, which made him cuter.

She loves how Namjoon can just act his age and himself when he’s with her. He doesn’t have to be a leader, or a role model, Cammie just likes him as Namjoon. When they entered the exhibit, they didn’t waste time and they quietly looked around. They can’t mingle with people that much too, with the fear of other people recognizing Namjoon. They’re both suited with their face masks and hats to hide their identity.

Cammie is busy staring at the biggest painting in the exhibit. It’s an abstract art that shows too much dark colors and bright colors all at once. She whispered, “Yeppeoda,” before looking for the title of the artwork. Namjoon suddenly spoke beside her, “You’re prettier. Come.” He smiled and held her hand again to pull her out of the exhibit.

She felt her heart pounding against her chest again. The artwork she was looking at is named, White Lies are not really White, thus making her feel guilty of not sharing her condition with Namjoon. The thing is, she already made up her mind.

She just had to get through today.

They spent the whole day together, Namjoon going out of his way and taking her to a restaurant that overlooks a beach. After eating lunch, Namjoon took her to an art studio wherein she’s allowed to use all art materials there for 2 hours. She tried her best teaching Namjoon how to paint, but they ended up rubbing paint on each other’s faces.

“This is why I don’t teach you!” She said while laughing. Namjoon kissed her lips and erased the blue paint near her lips, “I’m sorry I ruined your painting, hon.” Cammie shook her head, “Not at all. Whatever is in that canvas is art. We’ll just call it Namjooning.”

“Does Namjooning means destroying?” He pouted, Cammie rubbed her thumb on his cheeks again. “No! Joon, you create so much more than you destroy! Namjooning means just going out there without a destination.”

“Hmm, I like the way you think.” He admitted. Cammie went bragging, “Or you just love me.”

After painting, Namjoon took Cammie to a petting zoo wherein they are allowed to interact with the animals. Cammie is having the time of her life feeding the animals, making Namjoon’s heart soft whenever he sees the small smile appearing on her face whenever an animal takes the food from her hand. Namjoon thought that maybe it will always be like this. Maybe he’ll always be endeared with everything that she does. Maybe she’s going to make him feel this way forever.

For the first time, Cammie’s parents invited Namjoon over for dinner. It was the first time that Cammie saw her parents laughing with Namjoon and openly talking to him about being an idol. They told him that he has their full support, even asking him if they can go to the first Love Yourself concert in Seoul. Namjoon told them that he’d get them tickets, of course.

Cammie’s heart swelled in a good way this time. Ever since Namjoon came to her life, she has gotten a lot better, which is why she doesn’t know why she is suddenly so sick again. Her symptoms are appearing almost everyday and her doctors wanted her to have the surgery as soon as possible.

She’s always thinking if she should just tell him, but she can’t bring herself into it.

That night, after dinner time and a movie with her parents, she accompanied Namjoon until the gate of their house. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the company, hon.” Namjoon said. Cammie smiled, “Of course. Thank you for today. I had a lot of fun!” She beamed. Namjoon pulled her to a tight hug, “I love you so much. I’m going to miss this while we’re on tour.”

“Then let’s do it as frequently as we can, just not on our workdays, obviously.” Namjoon laughed, “I’ll talk to Bang PDnim about it.” Cammie was quick to reject, “Ya! Do you want me to get fired?” Namjoon shook his head and planted soft kisses all over her face, “I was just joking, but you know that he likes you for me, right?”

“Who wouldn’t like me for you? I’m the only one for you.” She proudly said. Namjoon ruffled her hair, “That’s my girl. I love you so much. I’ll be going now.” After another last kiss, Cammie whispered an “I love you too,” in Namjoon’s lips, making them smile in silence.

Namjoon hailed a cab after that to return home. Cammie waved at him and watched him until the car was out of sight.

After countless times of contemplating whether she should tell him or not, she still decided not to.

On Bangtan’s last day in Korea before they left for the tour, Namjoon went to Cammie’s house to wake her up. He talked to her parents the night before, asked for their permission to let him have her today until the next morning because that’s about the time they’re going to leave. He planned the whole day ahead, even going as far as reserving a hotel room for them.

Cammie’s father opened the gate for him. Namjoon immediately bowed and greeted him a good morning. “Did you eat your breakfast already?” He asked Namjoon. “Yes, I’ll just pick Cammie up and we’ll get going.”

Upon entering the house, Cammie’s mother beamed at him, “Namjoon! You’re here. You and the boys put up a great performance last night. We love it!” She said, patting Namjoon’s arm. “Aigoo, thank you for coming last night, then!” After another series of compliments, Cammie’s mother led Namjoon to her room, telling him that he should just wake her up because she probably slept in.

It’s Namjoon’s first time entering Cammie’s room. They spent a lot of years together, alright, but since it’s only lately that her parents acknowledged him, he doesn’t really spend much time in her house. She saw Cammie lying on her bed, her arms wrapped tightly on a big koya pillow with Namjoon’s shirt on it. He smiled at the sight. Namjoon sat on the side of her bed, gently tapping her arm to gently wake her.

She’s cold.

Namjoon quickly looked for an air conditioner and when he found nothing, he became alarmed. He touched Cammie’s arms, neck and face. Everything is just cold. “Hon, Cammie..” He gently said, but he received no response. He quickly ran downstairs, calling Cammie’s parents in panic.

“Cammie,” he panted. “Cammie, she’s..” he said between labored breaths, panic swarming his brain. Cammie’s father was the first one to ran upstairs, Namjoon following him too. As soon as Cammie’s father got his hands on her, he quickly touched her chest, tears starting to stream down his face. “What is it? What is it?” Her mother asked her husband. Namjoon saw Cammie’s father check her nose if she’s breathing.

“Call an ambulance,” Her father said, but Cammie’s mother is already weeping beside her. “Namjoon! Call an ambulance!” That was the only time Namjoon moved. His brain can’t process anything and he’s at a loss for words. He doesn’t know what’s happening.

He just called an ambulance and cried while staring at Cammie’s form. She can’t be, she can’t be, he thought to himself. The ambulance didn’t take long. As soon as Namjoon heard it downstairs, he’s quick to scoop Cammie up with his arms and take her to the ambulance.

The drive to the hospital is quick. On normal days, he would’ve scolded the maknaes for driving too fast, but right now, he couldn’t care less. He just needs someone to attend to Cammie and tell him that everything’s going to be alright -- that she’s alright.

When they enter the emergency room, Cammie’s doctor is already waiting for them. Her doctor ran along with the nurses that rushed to one of the emergency room’s cubicles. Namjoon is still crying. He hasn't taken his eyes off Cammie ever since he found her in her room.

The doctor suddenly spoke, “She died in her sleep.” Namjoon heard ringing in his ears, holding on to the pole beside him, as if his knees are going to give up. He heard the painful wails of Cammie’s parents, or is that his? He doesn’t know.

He hugged Cammie’s lifeless form on the hospital bed, “Hon, hon. Hon, wake up.” He repeatedly murmured. “Hon, what happened to you? This isn’t a good joke, baby, please.” He held Cammie’s hands and kissed it repeatedly, “Cammie, please wake up. Please, baby, please.”

“What happened to her?” He asked the doctor, frustration evident in his voice, but most of all, he’s lost. “She's been sick ever since she was a kid, didn’t she tell you?” It only made Namjoon cry harder than he was crying before. He hugged Cammie’s body again and when he felt someone pulling him off her, he pushed them off. “No, no, no!” He said, clinging onto her lifeless form again.

“I’m never letting go,” He said. He repeatedly said it until his tears dried on his face already. “Baby, why are you doing this to me?” He whispered. “What did I do wrong, hon? You can’t leave me like this, Cammie, please. Please. Please.”

“Namjoon,” Cammie’s father placed a hand on top of Namjoon’s shoulder. It only made Namjoon cry again. He spent the whole day crying, only letting go of Cammie when her parents told the nurses that they’re ready to put Cammie in a morgue already.

Namjoon struggled, a lot, not wanting to let go of her. “If this is the last time that I get to see her, can’t I look at her longer? If this is the last time I get to touch her, can’t I touch her longer?” He said in between sobs. Cammie’s father pulled him gently, “Son, until when? Don’t make this harder for all of us. It pains me -- seeing the two of you like that. You and Cammie are always so happy whenever I see you. You brought the light in her eyes.”

He fell into a crying mess again, planting soft kisses on her hands and face until the nurses had to pull her away from him.

Even if he doesn’t like it and has no intentions of doing it, he finally let her go.

Bangtan still has spare time before the tour, they’re only leaving five days ahead. Namjoon told them that they can go ahead and he’ll just follow. All of them are sitting in the living room, trying their best not to stare at Namjoon, but miserably failed to do so.

“Hyung, I’m so sorry this has to happen.” Jimin was the first one to talk and hug Namjoon. The other boys followed him, not saying a word, just hugging him. Taehyung cried hard while Namjoon pulled him for a hug. Of all the maknaes, Namjoon knows how much Taehyung loves Cammie -- his Cammie-noona that he can pull everywhere, his Cammie-noona that always sides with him whenever Namjoon is teasing him.

When they finished hugging, Yoongi spoke, “So, you want us to go ahead of you?” He asked. Namjoon just nodded, staring at the letter he was holding onto since last night. “We will never do that, Namjoon. It’s all of us or none of us will go. If you’re going to leave 3 days or 4 days from now, then we’ll leave 3 days or 4 days from now.” Seokjin dictated.

All of them agreed. The living room is silent, only sobs are heard. Jungkook’s face is buried at Hoseok’s shoulder, Taehyung now being comforted by Yoongi, while Jimin and Seokjin are staring into nothing, not knowing what are the right words to say to Namjoon.

Namjoon breathed heavily before speaking again, “I should probably read this.” He pertained to the letter and walked to his room, not waiting for the others to answer. He locked the room’s door upon entering and sat on his bed. He bit his lower lip to stop the tears from falling again, but as soon as he saw Cammie’s handwriting of his name, he lost it again.

His name is neatly written on the back of the folded letter, Namjoon, it says. With a heavy heart, he gathered all of his courage to open the letter.

Hon, Namjoon,

Hi!

I won’t beat around the bush, so I just want you to know that I am very, very sorry. You’re going to leave for the tour in a few days, but I just felt the need to write this letter already. First, I’m sorry for keeping you in the dark for so long. I’m sorry that I’m a coward and I can’t tell you that I have Long QT Syndrome. I’m sorry, really, really sorry.

Second, I’m saying sorry because the only time that you’ll get to read this is if I’m not on Earth anymore. I’m sorry if I’m not here anymore, but wherever I am, always know that I am looking out for you.

Thank you for coming to that art museum in New Zealand that morning. Thank you for coming into my life and deciding that you’ll never leave. I’m sorry if I can’t do the same from my end. Remember that time in the lake, when you asked me if we can date, and I told you that it was the most beautiful day of my life? I figured out just now that I was lying. That day was the START of the most beautiful days of my life. You brought back the sun to me, Namjoon.

Before I met you, I was already feeling hopeless about my condition. My mindset is to only live life to the fullest until I die. But when I met you, I didn't want to die anymore, I wanted to live with you. I spent everyday telling you how much I love you, just in case I die like my grandmother. She died in her sleep. She didn’t get to say goodbye to my grandfather, and I don’t want that for me, for us. I wanted to live this life as happy and as long as possible with you.

Whenever you tell me that my eyes are your most favorite thing about me, I wanted to tell you the same, because that’s the truth, hon. Your eyes are my most favorite thing about you. I love how you look at me, love how your eyes look when you perform, love how your pupils dilate in concentration while you write a song. I just love your eyes. Whenever you kiss me and stare at me right after, my heart pounds violently in my chest, as if my sickness kept on acting up. It always dawns on me that I’m going to die and I’m going to miss your lovely eyes.

I wanted to tell you sooner, but I don’t want you to treat me as a fragile person. Before writing this letter, I asked myself what was I thinking? How can I expect you to not treat me as a fragile person when in reality, I really am. I guess I just wanted to live life to the fullest with you, again, I’m sorry for repeating this over and over again.

My parents never disapproved of our relationship. They just didn’t want me harboring a lot of feelings. In my condition, sudden anger, stress, or excitement is really bad for me, that’s why I always tell you that I feel my heart pounding on my chest when you make my heart flutter. Please don’t blame yourself when you read this, I love every minute of our relationship and if ever I’m going to be born with this disease again, I’d still be your girlfriend, unless you don’t want me anymore.

Namjoon, always remember that my whole faith is with you. Whatever you write, do, sing and dance, it’s all amazing and I wouldn’t have you any other way. I wanted to be there in every performance that you will do, but now, it’s just a hope that the universe grants me. Please don’t be disheartened if I ever did leave this world.

According to studies, the majority of people with my disease die early. That may be the reason why I have these thoughts. With you in my life, I feel like a writer that loves how this story started and how this story went on, but that writer has the happy ending in mind too -- the only flaw is she doesn’t know what happens in the middle and if that happy ending in her mind is possible.

It sucks that we’re like the sun and the moon. We love each other, but we can’t seem to be together. I wanted to say sorry again because I had these thoughts and I never shared them to you. I’d label you as the sun though, because you’re everything bright, happy, fulfilling and energetic. You are the sun and the rest of the boys, my parents, Rianne-unnie, Lexi and a few friends I’ve kept through these years are the stars. You just shined the brightest for me, Namjoon. I’m sorry if I’m the moon, I only shine in the dark, but always know that I shined for you.

Please live a happy life, perform until you can, write songs until you can and influence the world until you can. If I do die, just take the moon road here to me, my love. I’m sorry.

This letter is getting long already, heck, I’m not even sure if I’m going to die. I’m just having these negative thoughts in my head since paranoia is eating me up and my surgery is in just a few days after you leave for the tour.

It’s already 3 AM. A few hours more and you’ll be up to rehearse for your Seoul performance. I’m wishing you all the luck because I will be watching! I love you so much, my Namjoon. I love you with all of my heart, even if my heart is broken, literally.

I love you, Namjoon. I really do.

Love,

Cammie

PS: I’ve been thinking about your question if it’s okay to tell the world that you have a girlfriend. How about we do that after I have a successful surgery? But if ever you don’t want the world to know, then that’s okay too, this love is ours anyway and I’d be glad to keep you and our love to myself.

Namjoon thought that the water in his body would’ve been depleted by now, but tears are still flowing on his cheeks. He can’t find the right way to breathe after reading the letter from Cammie. It’s all cheerful, hopeful, sad and heavy at the same time.

He fell asleep hugging that letter to his chest, only waking up when Taehyung nudged him, saying sorry for using the key to open his room. “We’re going to the wake already. Do you want to come?” He asked. Namjoon nodded, Taehyung helping him up the bed, “Of course.”

Present; 2019

Jungkook and Hoseok were left alone in the dorm that day. Jungkook is busy cooking ramen while Hoseok just sat on the kitchen counter, staring somewhere far away. It has been a month since Maine passed away.

Bangtan did not get it easy. They spent weeks trying to get Hoseok to eat healthily again, trying to make him smile again, trying to make him talk again. They tried making him do those unnecessary sound effects again, but he doesn’t, and he didn’t want to. It seems like life left him too.

“Jungkook,” Hoseok suddenly said. Jungkook immediately looked up, “Yes, hyung?” They have always been so careful with their words around Hoseok, especially if they’re going to talk about something that reminds him of Maine.

“Do you remember my favorite movie?” Hoseok asked. Jungkook just nodded, “If only, hyung?” He put a bowl of ramen in front of Hoseok so he could eat. “Let’s eat dinner, hyung.” He said, sitting next to him.

“That was the first movie Charmaine and I watched. She even asked me if I know that the girl is going to die in a car crash.” Hoseok smiled bitterly, “It sucks, Jungkook. I learned from that movie that we should love the ones that are important to us as much as we can. Where did I go wrong for her to be gone so suddenly?”

Jungkook stood up from his seat and hugged Hoseok, “Hyung..” Hoseok’s tears fell again, “Don’t worry about me now, Jungkook. I just have unanswered questions, but I accepted it already. Even if Maine did not live long enough, at least, she won’t have to feel restless everyday anymore. I love her too much to question her decisions, and if she can’t hold on to life anymore, then it must’ve been painful for her. I just love her so much, Kook, it hurts.”

Hoseok pulled away from the hug, “So when you start to love, give it your all, alright?” He said. Jungkook just nodded, “I’m here for you, hyung.”

“I know, Jungkook.” Jungkook just smiled at him and rubbed his shoulders again. “Eat your dinner, hyung, or I’ll feed you.” He said, making Hoseok slightly smile at him.

They heard footsteps from the living room, coming into the kitchen. Hoseok looked up and asked him, “Is this really how it feels?” Namjoon just heaved a sigh and nodded, “It gets worse, hyung, but we’re alright, Jungkookie will take care of us.” He answered, trying to lighten up the mood.

“You’ll help me get through it, right?” Hoseok asked, his voice asking for assurance. “We’ll get through it together, okay, hyung?” Namjoon said before tapping Hoseok’s shoulder. Namjoon ate dinner quietly with Hoseok and Jungkook. As soon as they finished, Jungkook told his two hyungs that he needs to see Toshimaru tonight.

“As you should, Kook. Just go.” Namjoon said, Jungkook smiled and thanked him. When Jungkook went out of the kitchen, Hoseok looked at Namjoon. “Do you have somewhere to go? You’re dressed nice tonight.”

“I saw an art exhibit near BigHit and I was thinking of going, but Taehyung is not here so maybe I should just stay home.” He said. Hoseok immediately waved him off, “Nah, go. It makes you happy, right? Buy coffee for me on your way back.”

“Is that your motive?” Namjoon joked, Hoseok cracking up a slight smile. He stood up from the table and said his goodbye to Hoseok.

Namjoon is still undecided if he should go to the art exhibit or not. With this, he decided to get out of the cab two blocks away from the art exhibit. He walked under the moonlit night sky while contemplating if he should go or not.

After one block of walking, Namjoon saw the poster of an art exhibit. Its venue is above the Hoseok’s favorite coffee shop where he intends to buy coffee. With that, he decided to just enter the coffee shop and buy Hoseok his coffee. Namjoon’s mind is still bugging him to go to the art exhibit, so he quickly went out of the coffee shop and entered the door to the building.

The lobby is spacious, not too luxurious but not too simple either. He walked towards the elevator doors and when he was about to press the elevator button, someone beat him to it. Namjoon stared at the girl beside him, his eyes looking like he saw a ghost, not because of how the girl looked, but because he feels like this has happened before.

When the elevator door opened, Namjoon saw the girl walk to the left. He felt his heart tug again, remembering how familiar this scene is. Without giving it much thought, he went to the right side of the exhibit.

Upon arriving in the middle of the exhibit, he stared at the highlight of the event. It was a big painting that shows two lovers holding hands, while the space between them holds all the hardships in life. The painting is named, Life makes love look hard. Namjoon sighed, thinking about how unfortunate fate is for him and Cammie, but he can always begin again, right?

His phone vibrated and saw that Hoseok sent him a message, “You still going to the exhibit or are you on your way home now with my coffee? If not, I’ll just buy it myself. :)” Namjoon wanted to buy something that will make Hoseok smile again so he quickly turned around to go back to the coffee shop, but he bumped into someone.

It's the same girl from a while ago. Namjoon thinks the girl recognized him too because she smiled at him, then slightly bowed.

"Annyeong, I think we've met. I'm Bianca." She said.

- end -

published on 06.28.20

#ficswithluv #btswriterscollective #bangtanidx #btswritingcafe #bts namjoon fic #namjoon fluff #namjoon angst #bts namjoon fluff #bts namjoon angst #bangtan fic #bts fluff #bts #bts angst

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moonstruckholland · 5 years

Text

Happy Birthday? (p.p)

(the gif has nothing to do with the fic, I was just too lazy to make a moodboard 😂)

Word count: 2,284

Warnings: tiny bit of angst, hella fluff

A/N: This is my submission for @farfromhaz and @angelhaz11's writing challenge! Go send them some love! Anyways, here's writing number two of the night! I really hope you guys like it! Definitely feel free to send any and all feedback, it would make my spooky day even happier 🧡 (I'm technically late but it's still Halloween somewhere so shhhh it's okay)

Sharing your birthday with your favorite holiday, even if it was Halloween, wasn't always as fun as everyone would assume.

Believe it or not, people actually forgot your birthday. You couldn't fully blamed them, Halloween was amazing. What could compare to the candies, scary movies, and fun costumes? Definitely not your measly little birthday parties, especially as you grew older and everyone was trading in trick or treating for Halloween parties that went on for hours into the night.

But you couldn't lie and say it didn't hurt your feelings growing up when you walked into your classroom expecting just one "Happy birthday" and instead getting, "Happy Halloween!" followed by a "Oh, it's your birthday isn't it?"

It hurt your little child heart so much, you decided at the age of 9 to stop telling people your birthday and pretended it already passed whenever someone asked. It was dumb looking back on it now that you were an adult, but back then it seemed like the only reasonable solution.

The only person at school who knew your birthday was your best friend and crush of many years, Peter Parker. You didn't tell him purposely, he stumbled into your apartment window one night in high school, bleeding and in a daze, and you were getting ready for a birthday dinner.

"You look really nice, can I ask where you're going?" He voice was raspy as you cleaned the cuts on his face.

"You don't get to ask questions when you've been hiding the fact that you're freaking Spider-Man."

He decided to keep quiet for a while, not wanting to push you. You waited until he looked less like death to say something.

"It's my birthday," you mumbled, not meeting his eyes.

"It's your birthday? And you didn't tell me? I'm your best friend!"

"Don't start with me Spider-Boy," you glared at him for moment before softly adding, "I haven't told anyone in years."

"Why?"

"Everyone would forget, so I figured no one can forget if they don't know, saves me from being stressed."

"Well, now that I know, I'm never going to forget."

You rolled your eyes, "Don't make promises you can't keep, Parker."

He kept his promise, making a big deal of your birthday every year. One year he snuck you out of your apartment at night and swung you around the city, showing you places you hadn't known existed.

Another year, he brought you to a halloween party at the Stark tower. You never thought you'd see Captain America wish you a happy birthday personally, but it was one of the greatest experiences of your life.

It honestly didn't matter what he did, the fact that he cared and bothered to remember is what made it truly special. You were sure as long as Peter was in your life, you'd always have a special birthday.

Well, maybe not this year. So far today was the worst birthday of your life.

You woke up very late, apparently forgetting to set your alarm the night before. You rushed to throw on clothes and get as decently presentable as you could rushing to make it to your midterm.

“If you’re late, don’t bother showing up,” you could hear your professor’s shrill voice as you practically sprinted to your car.

You drove to class like you were in one of the fast and the furious movies, definitely breaking at least one law in the process. Luckily for you, the roads seemed to be empty, one gift from the universe. You knew if Peter weren’t already in class, he’d probably be with you right now, chastising you for your horrible driving,

‘I could really use Peter right now, swinging to school would be much faster.’

It was then that you realized Peter hadn't sent you his usual good morning happy birthday text he always sent, in fact you hadn't heard from him at all since you threw your into studying yesterday. You stomach clenched with worry for a second before you quickly pushed it aside, remembering you had to run to class.

You made it to your statistics class with minutes to spare, barely. You would’ve felt relieved, except the second you sat down to pull out your materials, you came to the realization you left the cheat sheet your professor allowed you to bring in your folder, laying on the exact spot you put it before passing out last night.

‘Fuck,’ you wanted cry. That dumb piece of paper was your key to passing this test and it was at home. You obviously had no choice but to take the test, so you told convinced yourself the studying you did last night would be enough, trying your best to think positively.

You didn't fail, but you definitely didn't get the grade you wanted. After more than an hour of answering questions, working them out on your scrap paper, you ended it with a 72. You beat yourself up about it the whole way home. The only thing you were looking forward to was seeing Peter and your lovely roommate Casey, and the delicious chocolate chip cookies she made just for you.

You couldn't help smiling as you heard Peter laughing from down the hall. You often came home to Peter already there, a perk that came with giving him a key, making food or literally hanging from the ceiling while studying.

"At least he always keeps me on my toes," you mumbled under your breath, wondering how you'd find him this time as you unlocked your door.

Much to your surprise, he was just sitting on the couch, Mean Girls playing in the background as he played what looked like some sort of star wars game on his phone.

“Hey, Pete!” you called out, closing the door behind you.

“Hey,” he barely looked at you, too into his game.

Taking a seat beside him, you sighed dramatically, laying your head on his shoulder while you waited for him to pay attention to you. That didn't happen for another 15 minutes and you wondered how he could be so into a game that he couldn't even play on one of the many game consoles Mr. Stark has bought him over the years.

"So," he said after finally putting his phone down, "What's the plan for today?"

"Oh, um, I thought maybe we'd swing through the city and go to our little spot?"

"I was thinking we'd do something different?"

"Like what?" You were suddenly filled with excitement, knowing Peter always came up with the best plans.

"You know that cute girl from down the hall? She invited me to one of the sorority parties and I thought we'd go together."

"You and the girl from down the hall?"

"No, silly," he nudged you gently, "You and me."

The excitement started to slowly fade away as you realized he was being serious, he wanted to go to a Halloween party, he probably wanted to meet up with the cute girl, he forgot your birthday.

"Um, sure! Sounds good." You gave him your best fake smile, trying not to cry on the spot.

He didn't seem to notice, going on about the exam he took a couple of hours ago. You nodded at the appropriate timing, making it seem like you were fully invested, and you wanted to me, but you were so hurt you could barely focus.

Eventually, Peter got up to leave and you hated to even think it, but you were relieved. Until you heard his goodbyes.

"I'll see you in a bit, okay?"

"Yeah," you said quickly, practically pushing him out the door.

"Oh, and tell Casey her cookies were delicious."

"What cookies?"

"Her famous chocolate chip ones."

You sighed, "Did you at least save me one?"

You knew his answer from the look on his face, the immediately blush coloring his cheeks and the way his eyes wouldn't meet yours.

"I'm sorry! I forgot! She can make more, right?"

'That isn't the only thing you forgot, Peter.'

Now you weren't sure if you wanted to cry or lunge at him, but Peter was out the door and down the hall before you could do either.

Closing the door behind you, you decided to settle for the former, tears spilling down your cheeks instantly. A part of you hoped Peter was just messing around and would knock on your door any second now, telling you it was all a joke and he would never forget your birthday.

But as more and more time passed, you knew he genuinely forgot.

You tried giving him the benefit of the doubt, tried giving him a chance to realize his mistake. Hours later, when he came to pick you up, it didn't seem like that was going to happen either.

He greeted you at the door like nothing, "Do you like my costume?"

Even upset with him, you couldn't help laughing as he twirled in his Spider-Man suit. "Again, Peter?"

"What? You can't go wrong dressing up like Spider-Man!"

You agreed with him, though you still hoped he was only joking about the party.

He wasn't, he swung the two of you a block away from the sorority house. You could practically smell the booze from there.

'He really brought me to a party.'

You tried making the best out of it, flirting with cute guys and girls, but it wasn't much fun considering most of them were so drunk, they could barely speak properly. And you knew regardless of how much you flirted, there was only one guy you were actually interested in.

So, after an hour and half of torture, you found yourself outside, playing games on your phone while you waited for Peter on the steps.

He came out not long after, sitting beside you, "Are you having fun?"

You barely looked at him, "No, not really."

"Y/n?" He put his arm around your shoulder, "What's wrong?"

"Everything? From the second I woke up this day has been so shitty, I left my notes and tanked my test, you ate the last cookie, which was mine, by the way," you took a moment to pull away and glare at him.

"Then you brought me here, and what hurts the most is my best friend forgot my birthday," you voiced cracked as you finished your sentence, betraying the cool composure you were trying to keep.

Peter opened his mouth to say something, but you honestly didn't want to hear an explaination, you just wanted to go home and leave this day behind you, "It's okay, just take me back to my place?"

He didn't object, looking around for any witnesses before throwing on his mask, picking you up and swinging away.

You didn't open your eyes on the way home, you instead pretended it was a normal night filled with fun and dumb you and Peter things.

'Like it should've been.'

When Peter finally set you down, you were not on the fire escape by your bedroom window. You were on the roof of your building, twinkle lights and candles everywhere. There were tables full of your favorite food, and one had the most beautiful birthday cake you had ever seen.

Peter pulled off his mask, "Did you really think I would forget?"

"I-" you were speechless, he was messing with you.

"It's not over yet," he smiled, "You can come out now."

Instantly, all of your friends and family popped out from underneath the tables, yelling out "Surprise!"

You were immediately flooded by your loved ones, everyone wishing you happy birthday and showering you with love. You were overwhelmed with happiness, tears of joy falling down your cheeks for the first time that night. You couldn't believe Peter did all of this for you, and managed to trick you.

You let yourself have actual fun. It was much easier considering everyone was coherent, plus you were once again blessed by the presence of the avengers. It was hard not to have fun when Thor and Tony were around.

Later on, you snuck away, finding Peter and pulling him to the side. You smacked his arm the second you were alone.

"You ass! I can't believe you did this!"

"I couldn't let this be a boring birthday!"

You rolled your eyes, "You couldn't at least tell me happy birthday?"

He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck, "I wanted to pull a sixteen candles moment."

"And what was that with the party?"

"You had to be distracted while Casey baked your cake."

You shook your head, "You really thought of everything, huh? It's perfect, Peter. Thank you."

"I, um, actually have one more thing for you."

"No gifts! This was already amazing."

"Well," he blushed, looking down at his feet, "It's more of a question."

"Okay..."

"Would you maybe want to go out on a date?" He asked so quickly, you almost didn't catch the question.

'Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit,' was all that ran through your head.

"Or not! That's okay too, it's just Mr. Stark told me you liked me and I should make a move because I've liked you for years," Peter rambled.

Your heart literally melted at his words. He's liked you for years? And you didn't know? How stupid could the two of you be?

"Peter," you took his hand in yours, "I would love to go on a date with you."

"You would?"

"Absolutely," this time you looked away shyly, "I've liked you for a while too."

He smiled brightly, letting out a little sigh of relief.

It was right then you knew nothing would be able to top this, it was truly the best birthday ever.

Tagging: @fangirlwithasweettooth @bravest-at-heart @ravenclawmarvel @rachramblesstuff @angelhaz11 @fairytaleparker @parkerpuff @arielweasley @devildisguiseasangel @nedthegay @parkeroffline @petersmparker @lovinnholland @tomhollandsumbrella @awkwardfangirl2014 @officiallyunofficialperson @babebenhardy @sleepybesson @its-the-unknownspidey @antoouu @petersstarcadet @thollandx @xxxxdelenaxxxx @smexylemony @kxrtwxgner @styles-balor4eva @80sthottie @meghan-8520xx @marshyrebelcloud

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ethertae · 4 years

Text

When it rains, it pours | 01 (myg)

When it rains, it pours | 01 - Min Yoongi

beautiful moodboard by @cafelunes (thanks so much, Lina)

⇢ pairing: reader x yoongi (ft. Hoseok)

⇢ word count: 5.2 k

⇢ summary: “Hoseok is iridescent, and Yoongi is shimmering – two stars, with you at their orbit”. or you are miserably in love with your brother’s best friend.

⇢ genre: angst (lots and lots of it), series of five or six parts (was supposed to be a oneshot but eh). Even though the premise of this fic revolves around the reader being in love with Yoongi, it is not the main focus of the story. Hoseok is just as important to the plot than the other characters.

⇢ warnings: Y/N is depressed, and a lot of the themes in this are heavy, this fic might weigh you down a lot after a while.

Realization had fallen while you sat on a hospital bench, sleep-deprived and irritated to the brim. With worried parents at your side, and Hoseok in a hospital bed, the only thing you could think of was ways to further break your brother’s leg.

It hadn’t been the first time, that in a silly brawl, Hoseok had managed an injury. You rushed to the hospital, all scared out of your minds, till the reason for his admission was revealed. If they had just arrested his ass, maybe he would have finally learned his lesson, but in a small town like yours, understandings were quickly met.

Reverie now broken, a voice, like an angel, reverent and jovial spoke amidst the deafening silence, “Hey!”

No sooner was the word out, that you waved to greet Yoongi with a cheesy smile. It had been raining, and as he shook the wetness from his grey hair, he shot your parents an apologetic grin.

“Sorry for all the trouble, Hoseok didn’t mean to start any of it.”

At that, you snorted, rubbing your hands down your thighs out of boredom. Yoongi settled next to you and took something out from his jacket pocket, “here, I got your text, I think it’s a little soggy now, but –“

Enveloped in a small plastic bag was the hot dog you had asked for, “thank you!”

“So, how does being 16 feel? Sorry, I didn’t get to come to your birthday party - Hoseok told me you were flirting with boys.”

Yoongi’s teasing tone made you slow your chewing, “I was not!”

Humming absentmindedly, he leaned against the tiled wall and sighed, “your brother is really dumb.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure, you were there right along side of him, whispering encouragements in his ear.”

“Where did you get that mouth from?”

“From you.”

“Ah, learned from the best, I see.”

“Definitely.”

Your parents spoke in hushed whispers, and while you tried to hone in on their conversation, Yoongi patted your leg.

“Hm?”

“When did you grow so much?” The words were void of emotion, a mirror to his expression.

“What do you mean?”

“Just yesterday, you were four, and Hoseok and I were nine,” he paused, “we teased you till you cried and you ended up throwing a sand bucket in his face.”

“Yeah?”

“My point is, where did time go? Twelve years have flown by, and well, I don’t know – I’m just speaking, nonsense.”

“You sound like a grandpa.”

“I’m older than I look.”

Yoongi was a strange individual, and while you pondered if he had changed in the years you knew him, interestingly enough, he hadn’t at all. He was always found with a sense of longing in his eye, a sentiment of loss even he couldn’t explain.

But, as you stared at him that day, in the buzzing hospital, a feeling warmed your chest. To you, Yoongi was beautiful, and at the time, you tried convincing yourself it was a result of the hormonal splurge you were experiencing. No, it hadn’t been that. It started from there, the simple stutter of a heart, which grew to your misery.

Four years later and not much has changed, other than the fact that you are spending your twentieth birthday alone. While your friends tried to push you into going out with them, you were adamant on staying home for the occasion. It would be to self reflect you convinced yourself, however you have come to regret your decision. Sitting down in front of a stupid reality show, whilst eating cake, is a lot sadder than you thought it would be.

Lately, things haven’t been going well. Life has become a cycle that, somedays, you wish to get out of. The burden that is to breathe has finally weighed you down, and perhaps, you haven’t been the only one to notice. Your appearance at social events become a rare sight, and the excuses that you tell are all but the same.

You sigh and take a fork full of cake, “happy birthday to me.”

The time when birthdays were something you looked forward to, is long passed. Now, you consider them to be yet another year of suffering, or to stay positive, a year closer to fulfillment.

At least the cake is good.

You lick the frosting from the corner of your lips, before turning off the TV. The bird clock Hoseok got for your 18th birthday can be heard again, and you stare as it slowly ticks passed 8. Speaking of your brother, he usually sent a text by now. You guess he simply forgot – he’s been so busy.

Half way through the patisserie, you put down your fork and close the box. Fulness is a feeling you don’t appreciate at night, and since you’re tired, sleeping seems like the right thing to do. You drag your feet to the cold kitchen tiles and place the patisserie in the fridge. As you retire to your bedroom, the doorbell rings.

You stand still, hoping for the person to go away, and it’s quiet, until – “shit face, open up! I know you’re there!”

Upon hearing your brother’s voice, you sigh and walk towards the door.

“What do you want, Hoseok?”

The smile on his face is almost alarming, and you huff when he tackles you with a hug. Indeed, he is a very affectionate person, and normally, you would be the first to receive his excessive need for skinship, however tonight –

“What do you mean ‘what do I want’? It’s my baby sister’s birthday, and she’s here spending it alone like a sad little old lady.” He pats your cheek, and you smack his hand away with a groan.

It takes you several seconds to notice the shadowed figure behind your brother, and you stand on your toes to get a better look.

“Yoongi?”

The man in question steps closer and places a hand on his friend’s shoulder. His lips hold a lilt, and your heart stutters just like it has for the last 5 years. “Your brother said he was going to visit, then I remembered it was your birthday, so I tagged along.”

You smile and look at your brother again, “why are you guys still standing in the doorway, come in.”

Hoseok shrugs off his coat and throws it over a chair, “geez, you have to clean this place.”

He picks a pizza box off of the floor and winces, closing it quickly. “You really have to…”

The last time you saw them was a little over a month ago, when you weren’t so overwhelmed with exams. Hoseok and your parents had wanted to get dinner, a kind of family reunion. Youremember it being a nice evening, well until Hoseok insisted on hitting the bars. He called up Yoongi, the tweedle dee to his tweedle dum – of course, you all got kicked out. While you didn’t find it funny at all, both of them spent the rest of the night in hysterics.

It has always amazed you, how a reserved person like Yoongi, becomes a crazed baboon whenever in the presence of Hoseok. Funny thing, you think, that Yoongi needs Hoseok to come out of his shell, and still, has tranquilizing abilities on your hyperactive brother. Complementary, yet different.

“How did you end up like this? You know how I spent my twentieth birthday?”

You scoff, “in jail.”

“Hey, it wasn’t a real jail, and that’s beside the point! At least, I was having fun. Why are you here, moping around? Do you have no friends? What about that girl Lisa, I thought you guys hung out.”

He regards you seriously, awaiting whatever type of excuse you can pull out of your ass. “I am the one who decided to spend my birthday alone,” your eyes wander to where Yoongi takes a seat beside Hoseok. His thin lips are pursed, and he remains still, albeit fiddling with the rings on his fingers.

Hoseok stays quiet for a few seconds, before smiling. Your brother is many things, including his perception, and you know that in that small moment, he had figured you out. The smile, it seems, is mostly reserved for himself, and the next thing he says, does anything but surprise you.

“I see…”

You have always been like this. When have you not been? Your sadness is a crippling rose, and now, it has bloomed. At least, that is how Hoseok sees it, ever the mind reader.

Yoongi is quick to grow bored of his activity and speaks, “should we go out and celebrate?”

The other grins, “Remember Jin?”

He ponders a moment, then nods slowly. Hoseok continues, “well, apparently he’s having the grand opening of his nightclub tonight.”

“Are we talking about Jin from highschool?”

“Yeah.”

“Hoseok – he hated us.”

Your brother suddenly laughs. He had forgotten how much that uptight kid wished their death. “Well, we’re adults now. I think we’ve all moved past highschool.”

“I think you’re forgetting what assholes we were.”

A smile breaks you from your thoughts, “you really were dickheads.”

“You would follow us everywhere though,” Yoongi comments with a grin.

“Right, she was always lurking in the shadows.”

Hoseok mimics a younger you, Yoongi laughs, and you love. Then, it’s a blur of passing cars and fading lights. Youth cheers and brings forth life, and your brother is just another part of it.

“Cheer up, Y/N! It’s your birthday!”

The city, at night, is cold and bitter. Nothing about the mass of young bodies disillusions you from the dull streets. To you, the only people to generate light are Hoseok, and Yoongi.

Over the years, hiding your love for him has become easy. As a teenager, you had mistaken it for infatuation or lust – in your mind you had been too young to know what love was. But over time, when your feelings grew, it had been so complicated to conceal them. Everything he did, from his laugh to his strange habits, made you buckle.

Now, you are so used to the kind burn that comes with his presence, that it is of second nature. You glance at the couple ahead. Hoseok is boisterous and Yoongi is attentive, all smiles.

The city, at night, is peaceful. Under artificial lights and youthful gazes, Hoseok feels at ease. A world which he can make his own. He pears at you over his shoulder and slings his arm over Yoongi’s. Distance has painted your canvas black and white.

“Pst, midget! Hurry up.”

Your step quickens, and soon, the three of you walk side by side. It is quiet for a moment, save for the wet music of Hoseok’s shoes against the pavement. You savor it.

“We’re almost there, just a block away.”

The time it takes to get there passes in a blur. Women and men alike, line up in hopes of entering the new upscale club. You close your eyes a moment and sigh. Hoseok’s bad ideas are bound to drag you into the mud one of these days.

Yoongi nudges you, “relax, it can’t be any worse than all the other times.”

“You’ve a got a point there.”

Hoseok taps his foot impatiently, and the repetitive motion interrupts your thoughts. Behind a group of smokers, you all stand at the very back of the line. A few minutes tick by, before he rudely grabs your wrist, “come on, we’re going in front.”

You pull him back, “we can’t just cut in!”

“No, silly, we’re not cutting in. We’re invited.”

Yoongi joins in with an amused smile, “I really don’t think we are, hobi…”

“We’ll tell them we know the owner.”

Not a semblance of shame can be seen on Hoseok’s sharp features, as he tugs you along to the front. Habit has made it that you no longer oppose his strange decisions, nor bother thinking of them. Life, in his eyes, is ephemeral, and time is too scarce: ‘don’t worry, be happy’. The lyric echoes soundly in your mind, a distant memory.

“Hello,” Hoseok starts, “we’re on the list.”

The bouncer sighs, “name?”

“Jung Hoseok.”

Yoongi places a hand on your shoulder.

“Your name isn’t on here.”

He stifles laughter.

Your brother feigns surprise, “that’s strange – maybe it’s under the name Jung Y/N?”

The repetitive instance in which you find yourselves quickly escalates, as the bouncer catches on to Hoseok’s game. His beady eyes narrow, and Hoseok’s smile falters. You are about to intervene, when Yoongi suddenly speaks, “Kim Seokjin!”

Hoseok mutters a quick thanks and loosens the grip he had on Yoongi’s hand. A tall man whips his head, full lips and combed hair. First, he tilts it, and a beat passes, before – epiphany. He heads your way, and Hoseok’s stiff posture visibly relaxes.Highschool is in the past; how petty could Kim Seokjin be?

“Seokjin, how have you –“

The man’s derisive snort interrupts any attempt at making small talk, “Well, well: Jung Hoseok, and Min Yoongi, together as always. Nothing much has changed for you guys, huh?”

You notice the way his lips twitch in a sneer, and it’s unsettling for such gentle traits. At your side, Hoseok shifts. On rare occasions is he ever at a loss for words, and under Kim Seokjin’s scrutiny, he curses himself for it.

“How long has it been, 7 years? Highschool was a while ago,” the man glances at Yoongi, “indeed, haven’t changed one bit.”

As the four of you stand there, facing each other, you wonder what your brother could have done to bring about such hatred. Silence stretches on, then Hoseok sighs.

“Look, Jin. We’re all adults now, as you said Highschool was 7 years ago. It’s way behind us –“

“Yeah, sure. Don’t bullshit me, Hoseok. You just want to get into my nightclub, and there’s no way that’s happening.”

“Oh, come on,” Hoseok laughs, “it’s my baby sister’s birthday!”

Seokjin shakes his head in disbelief, “you really haven’t changed, have you? Shameless as always.”

Your brother has always had thick skin, it is so easy for him to brush things off. So instead of taking Seokjin’s comment at heart, he grins: “Ya bet!”

Highschool was indeed long ago, and as Seokjin stares at your luminescent brother, a feeling uglier than bitterness rises within him. Jealousy and discontent have reached him too, and it’s visible in the curl of distaste he directs at Hoseok. It’s strange, you find, to see someone act so miserably human.

“You really have no boundaries, do you? You both come here like the universe is your oyster, with no sense of past mistakes, and no consideration whatsoever. This is real life, you can’t just pull crap like this. This is not highschool. Grow the fuck up, Jung Hoseok!”

It saddens you that anger isn’t there, as it should be. A younger you would have jumped to defend him, but this stranger is right, and Hoseok, better than anyone, knows it. “Ha, I forgot how easily riled up you get, Seokjin. You haven’t changed all that much either,” he pats the man’s shoulder.

“Just leave.”

Yoongi for a second time, holds your brother’s hand in discreet affection and moral support. From the corner of your eye, you notice and smile; afterall, they have always been the best of friends.

Hoseok is iridescent, and Yoongi is shimmering – two stars, with you at their orbit. Laughter and foolery echo in the dim street, but his smile is treacherous. Thick skin can only be so thick, and at moments, hurtful words only serve to thin it. To the public, however, he is unfading light.

Wind cards itself in your hair, a soothing whisper and gentle caress. Nothing can break him, he is unyielding – it is nice to think it. Hoseok’s strands sway as he walks in time with the simple beat Yoongi produces. When they are here, smiling is so easy. Meaning, when they are here, you feel is attainable.

“Y/N, you’ve met Namjoon, right?”

You nod, “yeah, a few times actually.”

Hoseok ponders your answer, then laughs, “true, I forgot!”

Namjoon’s apartment is where you are headed, you conclude. A bright person with peculiar taste, is what you recall him to be. He never spoke to you much and if he did, it was merely formalities. However, when you did happen to converse, it was genuine and benign.

“Oh, and give Taehyung a break, it’s only friendly flirting, he does it with everyone.”

You make a face to which Hoseok laughs and roughly smacks your shoulder. With a wince, you soothe the spot your brother assaulted. It now occurs to you that Yoongi is the only friend of Hoseok’s that you truly know. At this thought, you lift your eyes to stare at him. He is looking at his friend with the tiniest of a smile and it brings you back to their many years of camaraderie.

“Do you think Jungkook will be there? Haven’t seen him in a while… Apparently he’s still hung up on that girl.”

Yoongi just shakes his head and sighs, “Jin is right, some things never change.”

This has Hoseok barking out a laugh and lunging to wrap his arms around Yoongi’s shoulders in a bid to keep himself upright. Moments like these, you grip your sides in an embrace, do they only belong to others?

Your brother snaps his fingers and grins when you startle, “Y/N, look alive!”

You offer him a small smile and avert your interest to the group of girls who laugh on the opposing sidewalk. They are beautiful, you think. Drunk on life and youth – things that escape you. Hoseok notices how you stare at them and stays silent.

His barren smile stands. For you and me, both.

Before long, you all stand in front of Namjoon’s apartment door. Yoongi huffs in annoyance and brings a hand to his chest. “All those fucking stairs, goddamn it!”

Hoseok lifts his hand and raps his knuckles against the chipped door in quick successions. Voices can be heard in the apartment, along side a heavy tread that grows in sound the closer it gets. The first thing you are greeted with as the door swings open, are Namjoon’s surprised eyes.

“Hey, what are guys doing here?”

He leans in to hug both Hoseok and Yoongi, before swaying to the side. Only then does he notice you, “oh, hey! Didn’t see you there.”

He gestures warmly inside his home where your brother and Yoongi have already thrown their coats haphazardly on an armchair. Upon entering the apartment, you note the slight changes made since you were here last. The imposing painting that hung above the couch is no longer there: you remember staring at it when you were bored once.

“Go fucking put some pants on, Taehyung. My sister is here.”

Hoseok nudges his friend, who sits on the beige couch with his legs spread and controller in hand. At your brother’s words, Taehyung lifts his head and smiles at you – “Hey, Y/N!”

“Hey.”

You make way into the living-room and sit crosslegged on the carpet. Taehyung presses play on his game, feet now on top of the coffee table where your fingers twiddle mindlessly.

Hoseok smacks the back of his younger friend’s head as a reminder, “I told you to get changed, asshole.”

“Alright, alright!”

As the boy leaves, grumbling under his breath, you give Hoseok a pointed look. “You know this is his home, right?”

“Your point?”

With a sigh, you ignore him and focus your attention instead on the potted plant near the TV – it’s ivy. You have always liked these plants, long and dark in color. As you continue to stare, lithe fingers reach for the leaves and pet them delicately. Your eyes trail up the person’s arm until they land on a face, one with a slender nose and pale, thin lips: Yoongi.

His doe eyes study the plant, mouth pressed in a tight line, and when your brother calls him, he hums. “Namjoon is calling us to the kitchen.”

“Alright,” he drops his hand from the vine and follows Hoseok to the room they are needed in. In passing, he offers you a small smile and ruffles your hair gently. At the contact, you close your eyes, breath releasing in an almost somber shudder when he leaves.

You keep them shut only a little while longer.

The sound of clunky shoes grace your ears, and you peel your lids back out of curiosity. A young man, one can guess around the age of Taehyung, removes Hoseok and Yoongi’s jackets from the armchair and throws them in a corner. Hair tousled and lip pierced with a ring, he slouches back onto the back rest. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you recall Hoseok having mentioned a friend who dresses as if he were in constant mourning.

“Jungkook, geez, were you taking a shit in there?”

Taehyung sits back on the couch, clad in sweatpants at Hoseok’s request. He awaits Jungkook’s reply, and upon realizing he is not getting one, makes himself comfortable. The glance sent your way is amused, and when he speaks, his voice titters on a laugh.

“Hey, you alright there? You’re zoning into another dimension right now.”

His smile, however, fades once he sees your detached response. So, instead of asking again, he simply hands you another controller to his game of Assassin’s Creed – “Wanna play?”

You politely decline and shift to face the window, much like Jungkook has been doing. The streets are quieter now. Only a car or two pass here and there under the dim lamp posts. It almost feels as if you were far off the city, in a deserted town. If only it could always be like this – indeed is it dreadful living in a street so dull with life.

Hoseok, on the other hand, can’t possibly fathom anything better, and the thought makes you smile just the slightest bit.

“Taehyung, could you direct me to the bathroom, please?”

The boy blinks at you, before slowly rising to his bare feet. “Sure,” he motions for you to follow him. You chance a glance at Jungkook, only to see that he has not moved one bit.

Your brother’s boisterous laughter can be heard, as you pass the kitchen. Huddled near the counter, the three men exchange friendly conversation, and you barely catch a glimpse of it, before Taehyung points you to the toilet.

The walls are white, and the color makes the space seem a little wider than it really is. You pull down the seat and after close inspection, allow yourself to sit on it. It doesn’t take you longer than five minutes to finish and wash your hands.

Gently, you push the door shut and press your shoulders against it with a hushed sigh. Where the wallpaper slightly rots in a corner of the ceiling, you stare. The stain is small, and you can only trace the reason for it back to a leak. Around the peeled edges, the wall takes on a color of faded copper – it is a sight you’ve seen before. Hoseok and Yoongi would remember, they were there too.

Your brother means well, he always does, but you are tired and have been for a while now. Tonight, you only wished to sleep – and Hoseok only wished to spend time with you. It is your birthday afterall.

Once again, you sigh, and in an attempt to lean off the door, lose your balance. It takes a meager second to regain step, and you inhale steadily, in hopes that your vision will clear.

“Wait, don’t go just yet.”

The voice, accompanied by a hand that draws Hoseok back to the kitchen, is just above a whisper. Where you stand pressed to the wall, the entrance to it is visible, and if you were to walk a little further, you would be able to see inside.

You make a tentative step forward, relieved to have recoveredfrom the minor mishap your lack of sleep has caused. As you approach the kitchen, it becomes easy to distinguish their voices. In succinct, hushed tones, they speak with their backs turned to face the counters. At first, you mean to ignore them and continue on to the living-room, until:

“But, when do you mean to tell her?”

You pause, wondering whom Namjoon’s question was directed to. There is a beat of silence, then your brother answers – “Uh. Soon, I think. But, I don’t know. Yoongi and I discussed it, and I’d rather we be alone – you know, just me and her.”

A small frown ebbs your features, and deepens the more you think of what he could possibly mean to tell you. For a moment, you fear it to be something bad, and, at this thought, the thudding in your chest starts.

“Yeah, man. It has been a while now, it’s always better that she knows about it now.”

Along with this revelation, doubt churns unpleasantly in your mind. Hoseok has never been one to keep things from you, at least not for long. You wish to see his face, to reassure yourself that it cannot be as bad as you have made it to be. Instead, you stay where you are.

“Yeah, I know – it’s just…”

He sighs, and the sound jabs at your heart, because it is so uncertain.

“I’m scared.”

If only you could confront him, ask him what it is that he is so afraid of, soothe his concerns – if only, you weren’t so terrified too.

Fingers tap at your shoulder, and you nearly startle into cardiac arrest. First, it’s a warm voice: “it’s not nice to eavesdrop on people”, and second, a teasing smile.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell on you,” Taehyung’s grin widens, and all you can do is blink. “I was about to go bother them, but then I saw you lurking here.”

He stares and awaits your answer – strange, you consider, that there is so much depth in his unsuspecting gaze. All you can muster, followed by a pitiful smile, is “yeah, sorry.”

Taehyung’s eyes drift to your trembling hands, and his expression morphs into one of concern. But, before he can get too curious, you head to the living area, legs unsteady under the burden of a restless mind.

Jungkook is on his phone now. His eyes follow whatever it is he reads on the screen, and as you enter the room, he lifts them up. It is quick, however, because no more than a second later, the tired brown of his pupils are back on the device. This small action you think is of no importance, and when you sit down on the rug, your fingers press gently into the covered skin of your calves.

From the corner of your eye, you see Hoseok and Yoongi, along with the two other men, come in.

Hoseok takes a seat on the couch, and Yoongi one at your side – he presses a bear bottle firmly to his lips. “Y/N, you’re not too bored right?”

Your brother raises an eyebrow, and you inspect his face, searching for a hint of deceit, only to find there is none.

“No, I’m fine.”

Namjoon and Taehyung, a few moments ago, had settled on the sofa beside Hoseok. The oldest of the two brings his left leg to rest atop the other and sighs deeply, crumpling in the slightest his can of soda. Taehyung, on the other hand, sits stiff, eyes trained on you in confusion, though, it is subtle enough that only you notice. He had seemed worried earlier, and with your abrupt retreat, you understand it hasn’t helped clear his mind.

“So, I heard it’s your birthday today, Y/N?” Namjoon’s voice is soft, agreeable, spoken out of ample lips and a smile.

“Yeah,” your response is short, and you try to curb the bluntness of it with a kind smile. Hoseok snorts and adds to the exchange, “she’s turning 20, and she was sitting around all alone at home, moping.”

Namjoon nods in understanding, “I get that – I remember being really depressed when I turned 18.”

Yoongi joins in, “really? I don’t see the point of being sad about something you can’t control.”

You can count the amount of times you have heard him speak tonight on one hand. He has never been the most talkative, but tonight Yoongi is quiet. The conversation you overheard minutes prior peals through your thoughts. Hoseok had mentioned that his concern was one discussed with Yoongi, and you can’t help but link this to his silence.

“Are you kidding? Turning 20 is awesome, you can legally drink.”

Jungkook scoffs at Hoseok, “it’s not like that ever stopped you before.”

You are surprised to know that he has been listening, but the others don’t seem to make much of it. Your brother waves him off with a grin, “yeah.”

“Well, do you want a drink?”

Namjoon appears ready to rise from his seat, head tilted and soda abandoned on the coffee table. He awaits your answer, and when you shake your head no, he relaxes on the backrest again.

“Thank you, though.”

“No problem, you’re my guest.”

The rest of the night passes in a flow of laughter and conversation. You sit there and listen as the group of friends recount stories of past foolishness, an occasional smile resting on your lips. At some moment, you can’t seem to recall, Yoongi drapes his arm over both your shoulders. The action is affectionate, the show of a somewhat brotherly love, and you ignore with practice the intensifying ache in your chest.

It is more than you could have ever asked for, being able to love Min Yoongi.

(A/N: Pls support this, I love this story with all my heart, and if it flops I might cry. Also, we’ll see more of the nature of Yoongi and Y/N’s relationship next chapter :) This story will be very slow paced, and one of its main focuses will be Hoseok and Y/N’s family bond. I’ll try to post a part at least once a month, since this story really can’t be rushed. Thanks for understanding.)

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woodelf68 · 4 years

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Young, But Growing

Belated fill for @sifkiweek2020‘s week four prompt “fluff”. With thanks to @otterskin, for furry-faced inspiration. (Note: Sif and Loki are around 13-14 Midgardian years old here.) On AO3 | Moodboard

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Odin waited until everyone was nearly finished with their breakfasts before addressing his eldest son.

“Thor, you’ll be with me this morning.”

Thor paused with a sausage halfway to his mouth. “What?”

“I spoke to your tutor yesterday, and he felt, and I agree, that you would benefit from some more hands-on instruction in the act of government.”

“But – “ Thor looked at Loki helplessly, then back at their father. “Loki and I were going to go riding to the lake today.”

“The lake will still be there another day.”

“What about me, Father?” Loki looked interested. “Will you want me, too?”

Odin smiled at his youngest. “Your tutor assured me you have an excellent grasp of the topics you’re covering without the need for any extra help.”

Thor scowled, predictably, but Odin was surprised to see Loki’s face fall in disappointment instead of looking pleased by the praise. “What is it, Loki? Is something wrong?”

“It’s nothing.” Loki did his best to smooth out his expression, but then, spurred by the fact that his father had actually both noticed and asked, impulsively continued. “It’s just that it’s funny that Thor does poorly and he gets to spend more time with you; while I do well and I do not.” He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “As I said, it’s no matter.”

Odin looked at him silently for a minute. It hadn’t escaped his notice that his boys were growing up – Thor’s latest growth spurt had put him on eye level with Odin himself, and Loki wasn’t far behind, all slim long limbs with the promise of future height – and that perhaps he ought to take advantage of Loki still being young enough to want to spend time with him.

Loki fidgeted under the scrutiny. “Really, it – “

“If you would care for a lesson in battle tactics,” Odin said, interrupting him. “Then I will be available for a game of hnefetafl after dinner.”

Loki’s face lit up so brilliantly that Odin couldn’t hide his own answering smile in his beard.

“I would like that.” Loki beamed at him. “Thank you, Father.”

“And don’t worry,” Odin added affectionately. “You’ll get your turn at learning the very boring daily duties involved in running Asgard one day, too.” His tone turned dry. “There are more than enough to go around, Norns know.”

Frigga laughed. “So what are your new plans for the day, Loki?” she asked, feeling a surge of fondness towards her husband.

“Might still go riding, I suppose. Take a book and find a nice spot to read.” He looked at Thor, who still looked put out. “You can tell me about your day later, Thor; you might get to do something interesting.”

“All right.” Thor perked up. “I suppose it’ll be better than books and lectures if I get to actually do something.”

—

Loki exited the palace a short while later, a book and a few provisions for lunch stowed safely away in his interdimensional pocket. It was a bit of magic that he’d only recently mastered and was still thrilled with. He saw Sif sitting on a low stone wall, idly drumming her heels and keeping an eye on everyone exiting the palace. As soon as she saw him she jumped down, smiling.

“Loki!” When no one emerged from the palace behind him, her brows drew down, puzzled. “Where’s Thor?”

“Father kept him behind this morning. Apparently our tutor had some words to say about Thor’s less than exemplary classroom performance and Father is going to try to drum some lessons into Thor’s thick skull via a different approach.”

“Oh. Well, where are you going? Do you want to spar?”

“No, I do not. I’m going for a ride.”

Sif fell into step beside him as he continued walking in the direction of the stables, her ponytail swinging behind her. “Can I come?”

Loki considered. “I don’t see why not.”

They made their way to the stables and proceeded to tack up their horses. Thor’s stallion drummed his hooves against his stall door, demanding attention, and Loki consoled him for being left behind by offering an apple from the barrel that was kept to provide treats for the horses. Drawn by the commotion, Sleipnir gave a bugling neigh from further along the aisle to remind Loki that he, too, existed and Loki fetched an apple for him as well. “Yes, hello,” Loki said affectionately, scratching the thickly muscled grey neck as the apple was lifted gently from his palm. Sleipnir munched it happily, ears pricked forward, watching Loki out of one brown eye. “You’d like to come along, wouldn’t you? Thor and I will have to get Father to come riding with us one day.“ One of Loki’s earliest memories was of being lifted up atop Sleipnir into his father’s waiting arms, and how the ground had looked so very far away. But his father had been a steady, solid presence behind him in the saddle, one arm securely wrapped around Loki’s waist, and Loki had been nothing but thrilled with how high up he was. He smiled and gave Sleipnir a final pat before returning to his own bright chestnut mare, who was as quick and spirited as her eight-legged sire, even if she only had the usual number of legs. He led her to the entrance of the stables, where Sif was waiting with her black, and they both swung up into the saddles to the accompaniment of creaking leather and jingling harness.

“Where to?” she asked.

“Thor and I were going to go to the lake,” Loki said. It was a beautiful day, a fresh, cool breeze stirring the manes and tails of the horses and keeping the sun from being overwarm. He had thought about staying closer to home, but with a companion along, the longer ride appealed again.

“Sounds good to me.” Sif touched her heels to her horse’s sides, and her mare stepped smartly out into the yard.

Loki followed suit, moving easily with his horse as they rode out into the city’s streets side by side. As they passed through the already busy market square, people moved out of their way, some half-bowing or inclining their heads respectfully to Loki as they rode by. He straightened his spine that tiny bit more, his shoulders going back and his chin lifting, secretly pleased by the fact that he knew they were for him this time and not just for Thor, his usual riding companion, or either of their parents. He nodded back occasionally in acknowledgement, and when a small girl, the daughter of a bookseller he frequented, hailed him by name, he smiled and sent a tiny green pegasus winging her way, her expression one of utter delight as it landed on her outstretched hand briefly before dissolving into sparkles. He was in a good mood when they emerged out into the countryside beyond the capital.

"Care for a run?” he asked Sif. His mare was prancing under him and champing at her bit, clearly eager to stretch her legs.

“Always!” Sif grinned.

Together they sent their horses into a smooth, ground-eating canter over the fields, eventually slowing down to a trot and then a walk as they rode uphill into dappled woodland shade, Sif falling back behind Loki as the trail narrowed too much to ride two abreast. It was cool, and it was peaceful, and Loki appreciated that Sif hadn’t felt the need to fill the silence with constant talking as Thor usually did. Finally they emerged into a broad clearing, the sun shining full upon them again, and Loki grinned as he saw it sparkling on the lake up ahead.

“We’re here,” he announced needlessly, turning to look back at her.

“I haven’t been up here in ages. This was a good idea. Perfect day for it, too. Maybe a bit cool for swimming, but we can catch some fish and gather berries for lunch.”

“Do you have a fish hook? Or line?”

“No, of course not; I didn’t know we were coming out here. Don’t you?”

“I brought a loaf of bread and some cider; I wasn’t planning on going fishing.”

“Well, we can use spears,” said Sif negligibly.

Loki made a non-committal noise. “Mm.” He made for the shade of a broad tree near the lake, where they dismounted and let their horses drink before untacking and rubbing them down and then leaving them in hobbles to graze to their hearts’ content. Finally Loki and Sif slaked their own thirst on the cold, fresh water. “Are you sure you want to wade into that to fish?“ he asked dubiously. "I’m willing to share my bread and we can gather berries, as you said.”

Sif hesitated, then shook her head stubbornly. “It’s the principle of the thing. No point in coming to a lake just to look at it. Unless you want to go swimming or build a raft – “ They had done that one year, she and Thor and Loki, labourously felling young trees and cutting them to length before tying them together tightly with rope, rejoicing when they had finally made a water-worthy craft, spending days happily paddling around the lake on it. She had always had a hook and line in her belt pouch back then. “Then I intend to fish. And warriors of Asgard are not afraid of a little cold water,” she declared stoutly.

“Suit yourself. I brought a book.” He settled himself comfortably at the base of a tree, face shaded but legs stretched out into the sun, and drew forth his book to read.

Sif gave a huff of exasperation and went to find a suitable branch to whittle down into a fishing spear. Finding one that would do, she sat down on a large rock near Loki and began the pleasurable work of peeling the bark off in long strips, watching it curve away from her knife. She began to sing a somewhat suggestive song that she had picked up from the older warriors in the barracks.

“Do you mind?” asked Loki. “I’m trying to read.”

“Read to me, then,” said Sif, angling her knife down the long branch and shaping it into a smooth pole, just the right width to fit comfortably in her grip, Prongs would give her a better chance of catching the smaller fish more likely to be in the shallows of the lake, but she only had a short length of leather thong in her belt pouch, not enough to securely lash the wood above the prongs to prevent it from splitting further up. She made a mental note to add some twine to her pouch and began to carve a simple barb instead. "Unless it’s something on magic I wouldn’t understand.”

“No, it’s on the folklore of Vanaheim. All right, I’d just started a new story; let me go back a bit.” He began to read out loud, of a tinker who was forced, when his cartwheel broke just as dark was falling, to spend the night in a wood known to be haunted by the ghost of a thief who had been hanged for his crimes. Sure enough, the ghost soon appeared, bearing the remains of a noose around his neck and shackles on his wrists, and offered the tinker a deal. If the tinker could remove the ghost’s bonds before the setting of the moon, he would be given the gold that had been hidden and never recovered. If he tried and failed, however, the tinker would forfeit his life. Loki paused for dramatic effect and saw that Sif had stopped whittling and was leaning forward with flattering interest, wholly absorbed in the story.

“Would it be honourable to keep stolen gold?” she asked doubtfully.

“If he didn’t know who it had belonged to,” said Loki thoughtfully, “I think he would be justified in keeping it. And – gold means the victims were probably well-off. The tinker could probably make better use of the money than whoever it had originally been stolen from – if they were even still alive.”

“Fair points,” said Sif. “All right, go on.”

“The tinker agreed,” Loki continued, “And fetched a knife and file from his cart. But they passed through the bonds as if through smoke, without leaving any mark. The moon sank lower and lower towards the trees, and the ghost gave a harsh growl. "You fail as all the others failed, and your bones shall join theirs. Live tools can’t cut a ghost.”“

Sif’s eyes dropped to her own knife, and she absentmindedly carved another couple of shavings away from the barb before abandoning it once again.

"The moon touched the edge of the horizon. Through his fear, the ghost’s words stirred an idea in the tinker’s mind, and he glanced around wildly, seeing the flash of white in the moonlight. Seizing some poor soul’s thigh bone, the tinker brought it down with all his strength on his tools, shattering them into pieces. And there, amongst the broken shards of metal, glowed the ghosts of his tools. He picked them up; the noose parted swiftly under the ghostly blade of his knife, and with six strokes of ghostly file, the shackles fell to the ground just as both moon and ghost disappeared from sight. In the ghost’s place, a bag of gold sat on the ground.”

Sif sat back with satisfaction. “That was a good story, and a clever idea. I liked it. But I question whether tools can have ghosts. Surely our fathers have seen many shattered weapons in battle, and what is a weapon but a tool? Yet I have never heard any tales of ghostly weapons.”

“Perhaps they have to be shattered deliberately?” Loki hazarded. “There is some small magic involved in all smithing; I would not discount it entirely without testing it.” Surely he could find some old nicked weapon in the armoury that would not be too great a loss to sacrifice in the pursuit of knowledge? “And would one notice a ghost of a shattered weapon in the midst of battle? It would serve no purpose against a live enemy, after all, if the logic of the tale holds.”

“Hm.” Sif finished up the back-pointing barb near the end of her spear, thinking. She wasn’t sure if she liked the idea of shattered weapons yielding ghostly versions of themselves or not. But… “You’re going to test it out, aren’t you?”

“I think I should; we might need to fight an undead foe one day against whom regular weapons won’t work. In fact, I would say that it is my duty, as a prince of Asgard, to learn everything possible which might help me defend her one day,” he said virtuously. “Although I don’t think we can duplicate the conditions exactly. The knife might need to be of Vanir make, and I certainly don’t have the thigh bone of a murdered man. But we’ll start with the basics. Shatter one Asgardian knife, look for its ghost. Do you want to be there?”

“Yes, of course. And what about Thor? He can smash it with his hammer.“ She sharpened the point of her spear a little bit more and tested it against her finger. "What do you think?” she asked, holding it up.

“It looks adequate,” Loki admitted, now half-wishing he had made one for himself. And Thor was a good idea; he didn’t know how hard it would be to shatter Asgardian steel but surely Mjölnir could do it.

“Thank you for your high words of praise,” said Sif gravely, jumping to her feet, and Loki laughed. “Now let’s see if I can catch anything with it.”

Loki put his book away, interested despite himself, and followed her down to the water’s edge. She stripped off her boots and socks, and rolled her breeches up as high as she could before stepping into the shallows of the lake.

“Fuck,” Sif swore, as the cold clamped down on her legs.

Loki snorted and grinned. Ah yes, that was why he’d forgone the fun of spearing fish. It was different when you were swimming and moving around, but he saw no need to subject himself to the discomfort of standing still in the chilly lakewater waiting for a fish to go by when he had another plan of his own. But first he was willing to give Sif a chance.

He tsked at her. “Such language, my lady. What would your mother say?”

“She’d blame my father for not guarding his tongue around me.” She gritted her teeth and forced herself to move deeper into the water, lifting her spear and holding it poised as she stood still, staring into the water, watching for prey. “And I’m not a lady, I’m a warrior of Asgard.”

“I don’t see why you can’t be both, Is it the rank or gender that you take exception to?”

“Neither,” said Sif. “It is the expectations attached to the gender. That I should have no desires other than to learn how to cook and clean and sew, that I might one day take care of a husband and children.” She saw a flash of movement and drove her spear down, scowling as the fish darted back out towards deeper water before her spear reached it. “I wish for more, for honour and glory and the chance to serve Asgard as one of her warriors. I’m a good fighter; I should be allowed to do what I’m good at.” Another jab, another miss. She swore. This was easier in the creek that ran clear and narrow through the back of the palace gardens, and which, when followed deep into the woods, eventually broadened out into a wide pool that was their usual swimming spot.

“You’ll get no quarrel from me there,” said Loki. Sif took joy in battle the way that Thor did, and he was glad that she had been allowed to start weapons training with the other boys. He was sure that his mother had had something to do with that – he’d overheard her talking to his father about it one day, before they’d moved away and out of hearing range. And as for being allowed to practice what one was good at – he let wisps of green magic curl about his fingers – he still didn’t understand why it was looked down upon for men to practice magic on Asgard. His father, the king, practiced magic, and no one said anything against him. He pushed the usual resentment away and brought himself back to the present. “Be a warrior and marry someone who’s got servants to do the cooking and cleaning. Like Thor,” he said, as if it didn’t matter. That was another of those things that went mostly unsaid but understood; he was sure that Sif had originally been introduced as a playmate in the hopes of a betrothal between Sif and Thor one day.

Sif looked up, her face twisting in obvious rejection of the idea. “And have to be queen one day? To be tied to the palace, and have to be nice to people even when I can’t stand them? No thanks.”

Loki felt more cheered by this then perhaps he ought to have been. “Well, there’s me,” he said lightly. “You’d still have to be nice to people sometimes, but you’d be a lot freer as a princess than a queen, and you’d still get the servants for cooking and cleaning.”

Sif laughed. “I’ll keep it in mind for the future.” She turned her eyes back to the water and made a wild thrust, groaning when yet another small fish eluded her spear.

She hadn’t said no, thought Loki, a quiet thrill running through him. It wasn’t often that he heard someone voice a decided preference for him over Thor, and Sif seemed to have so much more in common with Thor. But she had completely vetoed the idea of marrying Thor, while suggesting she might consider him. Suddenly feeling immensely fond and gallant, he stirred himself. “Come on out, this isn’t a good place for spearfishing, and your legs must be freezing. Let me have a go at it.”

“Do you think you can do better?’ she challenged, but was glad for an excuse to leave the water; she had to lean on her makeshift spear to keep from stumbling on her numb feet as she waded back onto shore. “And what makes you think that I’ll let you use the spear that I did all the work on?”

“Oh, I don’t need a spear,” said Loki airily. “Make a fire, and warm yourself up. I’ll go get your fish.” And he shifted, shrinking down in size until an otter stood where the boy had been. He gave her his best open-mouthed otter grin and scampered into the lake.

Sif stared after the sleek brown shape cutting gracefully through the water, dumbstruck for a moment before recovering her voice. “Show-off!” she yelled. The otter disappeared under the water. Shaking her head, she fetched the rub rag she had used on her horse and turned to the task of drying her feet and legs and chafing some warmth back into them, before pulling her stockings and boots back on gratefully. She was just dumping her first armful of twigs and branches inside the ring of stones containing the remains of previous fires when Loki resurfaced at the edge of the lake with a fish clenched between his sharp little teeth. He tossed it onto the shore at her feet, looking as smug as an otter can possibly look, then disappeared back into the water again. She snatched up the fish, quickly stunned it with one of the heavier branches she’d gathered. and laid it next to the fire pit. She resumed gathering wood for the fire, but she hadn’t even had a chance to get it started before Loki was back, squeaking cheerfully as he dropped a second fish beside the first.

“Yes, well done, why didn’t you just say you could do that in the first place?’ she grumbled, dispatching the second fish in the same way before crouching back down in front of her neatly-arranged wood and then pausing in striking her flint to her steel when he simply stood there, watching her with his bright, mischievous eyes. “Well? Aren’t you going to change ba–” She shrieked as Loki shook himself, the water flying out from his dense coat in a wide spray of droplets. Having been wetted by a fair share of them, Sif lunged to her feet and dove at him.

“I’ll get you for that!”

Loki tried to dart away, but Sif had been fast and she’d managed to catch hold of his long, muscular tail. He quickly shifted back to his usual form in an amorphous blurring of shapes, depriving her of a tail to hold, and sprang to his feet, backing away. He held up his hands placatingly, unable to keep a grin off his face. “I’m sorry, Sif, I shouldn’t have done that.” He danced back as she swung at him.

“You don’t look sorry!”

He retreated around the fire pit as she came after him, trying to banish the grin off of his face and failing miserably at it. “I can’t help it! My otter brain thought that it was funny. But I got your fish for you! And…and I’ll even clean them if you want.” He felt very generous for offering this; the usual camp rules were that the person who caught the food didn’t have to clean it.

Sif stopped pursuing him, debating and then noticing something. “Fine. Clean the fish and I’ll forgive you. But how are you still completely dry in this form?” She reached out to touch his tunic and he let her. "You can’t have shaken it alloff.”

He shrugged. “Magic.” He made a face. “Ugh, my mouth tastes horrible, though.” He pulled his bottle of cider out of his interdimensional pocket and took a long draught, chasing away the taste of raw fish. Replacing it, he walked over to the fish and squatted down, taking out a knife to scale and gut it. “Get the fire going.”

Sif did as instructed, using lots of kindling to get the fire to burn fast and hot, and then sat back, watching Loki come back from the water’s edge with the cleaned fish and sit back down, setting them aside on a rock until the fire burned down into hot coals. He looked at her sideways, a little smirk on his face. Sometimes, she thought, he looked exactly like his mother. She’d seen that expression on the queen’s face more than once.

“You think you’re so clever.” She threw a small pebble at him.

Loki batted it aside easily. “Am I not?” He couldn’t help feeling pleased with himself; this was only his second time as an otter, and he hadn’t tried to catch anything the first time. But certain instincts seemed to come naturally with each shape.

“You have your moments,” she admitted grudgingly. “What’s it like, being an otter?”

“Fun.” Loki grinned and drew forth the cider again, offering it to her. “If you don’t mind sharing the bottle.”

“When have I ever?” Sif uncorked the bottle and took a swig, pleasantly surprised to find it still cool. “If I can overlook the fact that you had your actual teeth in the fish that I’m going to eat…” She took another swallow before passing the bottle back. “Are you using magic to keep this cool?”

“Yes, it’s a fairly simple spell.” Feeling justifiably smug, he took a swallow of the cider and then re-corked it and set it down between them. “I can keep things warm, too.” He pulled out his loaf of herb bread and tore it in half, passing her one portion.

Sif bit through the crispy crust into the soft, warm bread. “Mm, this is good.” She tilted her face up to the sun, closing her eyes contentedly as she chewed. “Hey!” She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Could you have kept my legs warm in the lake?”

Loki pursed his lips. “I’ve never tried to use that spell on a living being, but I don’t see why not?” He spread his fingers and held out his hand, staring at it consideringly.

“Well, don’t go and start experimenting now, when we’re out in the middle of nowhere. If something were to go wrong, I wouldn’t know how to help.”

“Such faith in my abilities,” said Loki deprecatingly. “But no, I’ll ask my mother about it first. Although – “ he smirked at her. “I thought, as a warrior of Asgard, that you weren’t afraid of a little cold water.”

“And I’m not, and I proved it. But what if we were someplace where an enemy might ambush us, and I couldn’t run or fight well because my legs were stiff with cold? I wouldn’t turn down a spell to keep them warm if I had to go wading in a cold lake or river.”

“Sensible girl,” said Loki approvingly. “If I am to marry some day, I will consider nothing less in a wife.” He took a bite of bread. “Also – “ he chewed and swallowed. “You are not afraid of hard work. Another admirable trait.”

“Oh? Well, I suppose I must admit that you have shown that you would be a good provider. That’s important, in a husband.”

Loki grinned. “Thank you; tooth-marked fish are my specialty. Also, I’m very adept at stealing bread from the kitchens.”

Sif snorted. “‘Stealing’, my foot. You’ve got every single kitchen maid charmed and willing to give you whatever you want.”

Loki looked modest. “It’s amazing what a few compliments will do. But,” he added fairly, “They deserve them. It’s hot work, slaving in the kitchens. They’re nice to visit, but I’d hate to be cooped up in there all day. And – how many people do you think ever bother to send back a message that they enjoyed what they ate? It’s not hard to make the cooks happy by letting them know that you appreciate their culinary efforts.” His mother had pointed this out to him once, and he’d found it good advice. It was only when the cooks were truly frazzled preparing for a feast that he ever found himself chased away from the kitchens empty-handed.

“Well,” said Sif, “Please tell whoever made this bread that I enjoyed it very much.”

“Solveig will be pleased to hear it.” Loki poked at the fire, which had nearly died down, the smoke scenting the air. “I think this is ready; have you got a couple of sticks to lay the fish on?”

Sif pulled two straight sticks out of her pile of unburnt kindling, and laid them down upon the hot, glowing embers of the fire. Loki leaned over her and laid the two fish crosswise across the sticks. They only took a few minutes to cook, and then they were burning their fingers as they pulled the hot fish off the coals onto a couple of large leaves they’d had ready, the blackened, crispy skin flaking away and revealing the succulent flesh within.

Loki sucked and blew on his burnt fingertips as he tried not to drop his fish, the leaf not doing much to shield his palm from the heat. “A hand-cooling spell would come in useful right about now.”

“Mm,” Sif agreed, blowing on fish and fingers alike, and saying another unladylike word.

There was no way to eat it neatly, so Loki didn’t even try, biting into the smoky-tasting fish with as little care as Thor usually showed at mealtimes, Sif making just as much as a mess of it as he did. They chased it down with the rest of the cider, and washed their hands in the lake afterwards after smothering the remains of the fire. A quick check on the horses showed them to be fine, and Loki stretched and yawned, comfortably full and disinclined to movement.

“I think I’m going to close my eyes for a bit,” he announced, and chose a spot on the soft grass to stretch out on, folding his arms behind his head.

“Seriously?” While Sif wasn’t feeling particularly energetic, she wasn’t in the mood for a nap, either. “May I borrow your book to read, then?”

Loki lazily twisted his hand and the book appeared in it. He held it out to her without opening his eyes. “You could read me a chapter if you like,” he offered magnanimously.

“All right.” Sif settled with her back against a large rock and turned to where he’d left the bookmark. “The Bäckahäst,” she read, and began the description of a shapeshifting creature that could take the form of a beautiful white horse to lure humans to it and drown them under the waters of the brook where it lived. Sif particularly liked the story of the farm girl who defeated one by keeping her wits about her; Loki liked the fact that she banished it with a magical rune.

“You’ve never turned into a horse, have you?” She was quite sure he would have made sure that they’d known of it if he’d had – he’d been quite proud to show off the elegant, silky-coated hunting dog he’d transformed himself into one day – but one never entirely knew with Loki. Sometimes he kept a new skill hidden until the most opportune moment to reveal it.

“Not yet. Mother doesn’t want me to try anything that much larger than myself until I’m a bit older; all the books advise against it,“ he admitted. "So far I’ve only shifted into things the same size as myself or smaller.” He shrugged. “ I think I would be fine, but it’s more fun to do animals that can pass unnoticed where a person couldn’t, so I’m willing to oblige her for now. Why?” He cast a mischievous glance her way. “Would you like to ride me?”

Sif’s face heated; she wasn’t so young or so sheltered that she was unaware of the possible innuendo in that question. But if he thought that would put her off…

“That depends on whether you want to be ridden,” she said levelly, and saw the answering tinge of pink rise to his cheeks.

“Mm.” Loki jumped to his feet. “Why don’t we head around to the side of the lake where the berry bushes grow thickest?” He held out his hand. “I’ll put the book away.”

Sif passed it back to him, glad of the excuse to drop that particular line of conversation, although a part of her mind couldn’t help imagining how he would look as a horse, and how it would feel to sit astride him, to feel the intimacy of him moving between her thighs. Her mind couldn’t quite go to the other place yet.

Thankfully, the new and slightly awkward heightened awareness of him only lasted until he bent and picked up a smooth stone on their way around the lakeshore, and sent it skipping across the water.

“Four,” he announced. He knew he could do much better, but it wasn’t bad for his first throw of the day.

Sif at once accepted the unspoken challenge and cast her eyes around for a suitable stone of her own. Picking one up, she sent it chasing after his, and the easy familiarity between them was back as they engaged in a friendly competition as they made their way towards the west shore of the lake in fits and starts. “Six,” she crowed.

Loki narrowed his eyes and took extra care in choosing his next stone, looking for one as large and flat as possible. He angled his body and let it fly, sweeping his arm out with a fast, fluid, practiced motion and watching the stone skim low across the surface of the water, barely touching before lifting off again. Seven…eight… “Nine,” he said with satisfaction.

She scowled at the fading ripples in the water. “Are you sure you’re not using magic?”

“For nine ? With the right stone, I can do 14-15, easy. You just need to spend more time throwing things and less time hitting them.”

“I don’t think throwing my sword at you during practice would be as effective,” she teased.

“I meant knives,” he retorted. “You should practice with me sometime.”

“I suppose it couldn’t hurt,” she allowed, and was surprised by the brilliance of the smile he gave her.

“As I said, sensible.”

They arrived at the start of the berry bushes, and meandered their way through them, picking and eating at their leisure until they were sated and their fingers and mouths were stained purple with the juice. Loki fought the urge to smear a purple streak down her cheek, still feeling beneficent at not being rejected out-of-hand as possible future husband material.

“What do you think Thor’s doing right now?” Sif mused.

He shrugged. “Since he hasn’t hunted us down, he’s probably in the training yards. Hitting things,” he added with a laugh. “Father only mentioned keeping Thor in for the morning. By the time he’d had lunch, there wouldn’t be much point in following us all the way out here only to have to turn around and go home again almost at once. Speaking of which – “ he glanced up at the sky, judging the time. “We should start heading back. Don’t say anything to Thor yet about our plans; he’ll want to go charging down to the armoury immediately to pick out an old weapon to smash, and I want to do some research first, see if I can find any other accounts that lend credence to that story.”

“All right.”

They made their way back to their horses, tacking them back up before mounting and turning their heads towards home. The energy of the morning was gone; they took their time going back, setting an easy pace until they clattered back into the stableyard. Loki waved away the groom that came out to take their horses.

“We’ll take care of them ourselves, thank you, Leif.” He swung down from the saddle, Sif following suit, and they led their horses inside, untacking them and companionably grooming them together, cross-tied in the aisle. They parted ways after returning their horses to their cleaned stalls, Loki heading for the royal wing of the palace. He’d take a fresh look through his own books first, and then go down to the library after supper. Passing the open door to his mother’s chambers, he stuck his head in.

“I’m back, Mother.”

“Oh, good,” Frigga called from within, rising from her loom. “Come in and talk to me.”

Loki stepped into the comfortable, airy rooms, feeling as at home here as he did in his own chambers.

“Did you have a nice day, sweetheart?” She pulled him in close, smelling woodsmoke and green grass and fresh air, and underneath all that, the scent of her own boy which she’d always know no matter what overlaid it. It was a good smell. She buried her nose in his hair, breathing in deep, and kissed him.

“I did. Sif rode down to the lake with me.” He leaned against her comfortably. “I took my otter form again and caught us some fish.”

“Clever boy. Did you have any trouble changing back?”

“None at all.” He looked at her a little wistfully. “I wish you could shift with me. We could do things together.”

Frigga smiled. “I could chase you around the lake. That would be fun. But alas, I am stuck in this one very dull form. I hope I do not disappoint too much.”

“Never! I didn’t mean that. And you could never be dull.” Loki said stoutly, and her arm came around him in a one-armed hug. “I like all the things we do together. Magic, and my knife lessons, and talking about books.”

“That’s good. And I can still chase you…but you have to run first.” She curled her fingers over his ribs, tickling, and Loki sprang away with a yelp of laughter. “Not far enough,” she warned, stalking towards him, and Loki backed away, circling behind a chair.

“What is it with girls chasing me today?” he complained, but his eyes were bright.

Frigga’s eyebrows rose. “Sif?” she guessed.

“I…might have shaken water all over her before changing out of my otter shape,” Loki confessed sheepishly.

“And did you apologise?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Yes, Mother.”

“Good boy.” Frigga said approvingly. “I’m assuming she forgave you, since you don’t seem upset.”

“No, we’re fine; that was hours ago,” said Loki dismissively. He heard a noise behind him, and made the mistake of taking his attention off of his mother as he turned around to see his father and Thor coming in from the hallway together. It was a move he regretted as his mother caught him up from behind and began tickling him mercilessly.

"Got you!"

“AAHHH!” He kicked and wriggled and squirmed away, taking refuge behind his father, who looked down at him in surprise.

“Are we interrupting something?” Odin asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

“Mother’s in high spirits,” said Loki, half breathless. Impulsively he fixed his eyes on his mother, and mouthed “TICKLE HIM.” He cocked his head towards his father and wriggled his fingers in illustration.

Frigga smirked and gave Loki the tiniest of nods. It was a look that Sif would have immediately recognised.

“I am indeed; come give me a hug, husband.” Frigga held out her arms, and Odin automatically moved forward, although he looked a little suspicious.

“Far be it from me to deny such a request from my beautiful wife.”

Loki watched in anticipation as his father went into his mother’s arms, and his mother slid her hands under his outer robes, turning her face into his father’s neck for a moment with a contented hum. And then Odin jerked and shouted, and Loki broke into the giggles.

“So it’s to be like that, is it?” Odin roared, and Frigga squealed as her arms were pinned and she was lifted bodily from her feet. “Two can play at that game!”

“Odin! Put me down; the boys are watching!” Frigga laughed, still trying to tickle him but otherwise not fighting it.

“Boys, go away and entertain yourselves until dinner.” Odin ordered, heading into their bedroom.

Thor and Loki exchanged wide-eyed glances. “Yes, Father,” they chorused, and pushed and pulled each other into the corridor, fizzing with mirth, and closed the doors behind them.

“I never expected that to happen.” Loki giggled again.

“You didn’t expect Father to back down from a fight, did you?” Thor grinned. “Even if it is only a tickle fight.” They made their way to their adjoining rooms.

“Come tell me about your day while I wash up,” Loki said, pushing open his doors. He went into his washroom and began scrubbing at the berry stains on his hands.

Thor lounged against the wall. “Well, we started with accounts. Very boring, you can handle those when I’m king.”

Loki snorted. “The treasurer will handle the day-to-day accounts, but you need to be able to look at his reports and understand them in case he tries to siphon off any money for his own use.” He considered his teeth, and thought of fish breath, and gave his teeth a rub with tooth cloth and paste, the sharp clean scent of the crushed rosemary in it filling the air.

“Father said something along those lines,” Thor admitted. “Then we discussed the current trade re-negotiations with the dwarfs, and he asked my opinion on the various points being discussed. You would have done well with that, Brother, it’s all about using your words as cleverly as possible to get as much out of the other side as you can without them noticing. And then he grilled me on the history of the dwarfs over lunch but afterwards he came down to watch me spar,” said Thor happily. Now what about you?”

Loki rinsed his mouth out. “Went to the lake with Sif; she was hanging around when I went outside and asked to come along, so…” He shrugged. “Did some reading once we got there, skipped rocks, caught some fish for lunch.” Mischief struck him. “Talked about marriage. You know, the usual thing.”

“What?” Thor started, and stared at Loki casually inspecting his hair in the mirror, tidying it slightly with his comb. “You and Sif? Aren’t you a bit young to start courting?”

Loki turned away from the mirror and brushed past Thor to go into his bedroom, hiding his pleasure in the idea. “Of course we are. Don’t be silly; we were just talking about it in the abstract, about what we might want in a spouse. If we ever did get married.”

“Oh.” Thor sounded disappointed. “What did you decide?”

“I said I wanted someone who was sensible and a hard worker; Sif said a husband should be a good provider. All very romantic,” he said lightly.

“Hm.” Thor thought about it. “Sif is sensible and a hard worker. She’ll stay at the training yard as long as she has an opponent, and then work on her forms by herself.”

Loki thought of the time Sif had put into fashioning her spear, and was quite sure she would have stayed in the water for far longer trying to catch a fish if he hadn’t stepped in. “She is; I’ll give her that.”

“Well, there you go,” said Thor cheerfully. “Just so you know, I would be delighted to have Sif for a sister-in-law some day.”

“You’re not interested in her for yourself?’ Loki asked cautiously.

Thor tried to think of Sif that way, and couldn’t. He shook his head. “It would be like courting my little sister. It would be nice to have her really be. Besides, I’m probably meant for a political marriage. Sif’s of good family, but Tyr is already loyal to our house.”

That was true, Loki had to admit. Perhaps he’d been wrong about things? “But don’t you think Sif would rather have a big strapping warrior for a husband instead of someone like me?” He wasn’t even sure why he was asking this, except perhaps the need to hear it reputed. But she didn’t say no, his mind chanted at him.

“You mean an infuriating know-it-all?’ Thor grinned.

Loki hunched himself unhappily. “Is that what I am?”

Thor hesitated, seeing that he’d misspoke. “You are, sometimes, but it’s only because you’re so smart and clever that it can make me feel stupid by comparison. Like today. But you’re so much more. Mother says you’re going to be one of the greatest mages in the Nine Realms, and I say you’re going to be one of the finest warriors as well. And there’s no one else I’d rather have as my brother than you.”

Loki flushed with pleasure, his shoulders coming back up. “That’s kind of you to say.”

“I’m not being kind, it’s the truth,” said Thor loyally. “And you’ll see. One day we shall ride out together across the Nine Realms on adventures far and wide and prove our worth in battle. Skalds shall sing of the deeds of the Odinsons and Sif the Valorous.” Thor sat down on the edge of Loki’s bed, and Loki, deciding that he was clean enough not to need to change clothes, joined him, magicking his boots off and swinging his legs up onto the furs.

Loki smiled. "Sif the Valorous?"

"She would like that, would she not?"

"She would indeed." Loki could so clearly see the pride in Sif's face if she were to earn such a name. Or perhaps it would be Sif the Bold, or Sif the Fierce, they would suit her equally well. Still smiling, he turned the conversation back on Thor.

“So what about you? What qualities would you like in a wife?”

“Someone pretty,” said Thor promptly, and Loki couldn’t even chide him for being shallow, because it seemed a perfectly reasonable request. “And kind,” he added, rather more surprisingly.

“A good quality in a future queen,” Loki said, studying Thor’s thoughtful face.

“And someone who is… comfortable to come home to at the end of the day, someone who will listen to my problems and be able to advise me on them.”

“So, basically Mother.”

Thor smiled ruefully. “We would be lucky to find someone like her.”

“Father’s getting lucky right now.”

Thor scrunched up his nose. “Not an image I want in my head, Brother.”

Loki’s face copied Thor’s. “No, you’re right. Sorry.”

“Tell me more about what you would like in a wife,” Thor said, to distract himself. “There must be something other than ‘sensible and hard-working’.”

“I don’t know; it’s not something I’ve thought about much before.” Loki drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “The things you said, they’re good. And she must be fine with me working magic. That’s the most important thing.” He rested his chin on his knees, thinking. “Someone who doesn’t bore me in conversation. And someone who is comfortable with silence, who doesn’t feel the need to fill every minute with mindless chatter.”

“Still sounds like Sif.” Thor grinned.

“All right, yes, I suppose she does fit some of the qualifications,” Loki allowed magnanimously. “But don’t you dare say anything to her of this. Swear it. On your honour.”

“I swear,” said Thor, but his eyes were twinkling.

“I’m sure Sif will be too busy making her name as a warrior to have any time for romance anyway.”

“Ah yes, of course. You’re probably right.” Thor nodded, very seriously, an effect ruined by the smirk he couldn’t quite stifle.

Loki hit him with a pillow.

But, his mind said gleefully, she hadn’t said no.

#sifki #ficwoodelf #sifkiweek2020 #sif #loki #odinfamily fluff #i think i spent more time tweaking and adding onto this in edits than i did writing the mmain draft #and looking up things #like how one kills and guts a fish #just so i knew what i was talking about #yuck #and then having to take some things out #because they went off on tangents and didn't drive the main narrative forward #like at the end #thor then hits loki back and they have a very enjoyable pillow fight #which ends up with them rolling off the bed onto the floor in a tangle of limbs and laughter #but the closing line had to be about sif #so here you get a bonus in the tags #SORRY I'M LATE HOPE IT PLEASES

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softforcal · 5 years

Text

Bro Code : Prince!Cal

Summary: When Prince Ashton’s younger sister comes back to the kingdom for the summer after being at uni for years, Calum realizes maybe the ‘bro code’ isn’t so great after all

Warnings: lil smut

Prince Cal Moodboard

OC Moodboard

Word Count: 11k

------------------

Calum had known that Ostara would be coming back to the kingdom for the whole summer, and he’d thought he’d be prepared to see her. He’d never not been prepared before, but, when his eyes landed on the blonde standing in the kitchen, he realized he had not been ready for the sight in front of him.

They hadn’t seen each other in years. She’d gone off to boarding school and straight to university after. Calum had always figured that she’d stayed away on purpose, after all, the younger Irwin had never been a fan of being a Princess.

When Ashton had told his friends that she’d be coming home for the kingdoms centennial celebration, the boys had been surprised. However, when Ashton mentioned that, in part, it was due to his parents deciding it was finally time for Ostara to begin courting all the princes who would be in the city for the celebration, it made a bit more sense.

Calum had scrolled through her insta and had been shocked to see how much she’d grown, how much she’d changed. He’d had to admit to himself that she got hot. Long blonde hair, pretty green eyes, honey coloured skin and an adorable splatter of freckles across her little, upturned nose, she was still the girl he’d grown up with, but she’d glowed up in a big way.

Seeing her in person was entirely different.

Somehow, she was even prettier when not contained by the four sided walls of an instagram post. Which didn’t quite make sense to the young prince. But as his eyes scanned up her body, taking in the cute floral yellow skirt and the little white crop top, he couldn’t breathe.

She turned and seemed to notice him for the first time, an easy, dimpled smile appearing on her face, “Calum!” she exclaimed, setting down the bag of chips she’d managed to steal from the palace pantry. She moved around the island table quickly, throwing her arms around the tall prince who immediately embraced her, breathing in the scent that he’d all but forgotten, and not realized how much he’d missed.

As he set her down, he opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by a loud “there she is!” as his friends walked into the kitchen behind him.

“Leave it to Cal to find the only girl in the house.” Michael teased, pulling Ostara into a hug and away from Calum, whose body mourned her of its own accord.

“How’ve you been?” Luke asked, getting his turn next.

“Busy.” Ostara answered, which was so classic that it made Calum smile.

“Busy bee.” Ashton said, finally getting a turn to hug his little sister.

She grinned against his shoulder and the other princes in the room watched the happy reunion, “when did you get in?” Ashton asked when he set Ostara down.

“A little while ago, I would have messaged but… well, thought you’d enjoy the surprise.” she shrugged, hands settling on her hips to look at everyone, “shit, you guys got tall.”

“It wouldn’t be such a shock if you actually came home for Christmas.” Ashton said, jabbing at her ribcage as Ostara swatted his hand away.

“You know why I haven't.” Ostara tutted, “besides, I face time you like every day.”

Ashton opened his mouth to say something when a servant entered the kitchen, “Princess Ostara you’re needed in your parents office.”

Ostara groaned and Ashton chuckled, “good luck.”

She brushed past him and grabbed her bag of chips, glaring at her brother, “ha ha.”

They watched her leave, Calum’s gaze drawn down, and once she was gone everyone turned to look at Ashton who held up his hands, pointing at the hot blooded males around him, “if any of you say it-”

“Your sister got hot.” Luke stated.

Ashton shoved at Luke who chuckled and moved away.

“What’s the deal with Ostara and your parents anyways?” Michael asked, opening the fridge to grab a beer.

“They have this whole thing about her finding a suitor, it’s very old fairy tale of them if you ask me.” Ashton said, pushing past Michael to find something to eat. He settled on an apple, taking a bite.

“Shit, I heard about that.” Luke said, “my mom mentioned it to me a few days ago.”

“How did that come up?” Calum laughed.

“I think they’re hoping if they force us to date she’ll calm me down or something.” Luke said. Calum could feel his blood go cold.

Ashton froze, turning to look at his friend, “force you to date? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I thought I mentioned that.” Luke shrugged, “doesn’t mean much to me. She’s your little sister man, I’m not that much of a dick.”

-----

“Aren’t you supposed to be on a date with Luke?” Calum asked as soon as the blonde entered the kitchen.

Ostara rolled her eyes, walking past Calum who was all but guarding the fridge, a beer in his hand, “can you even really call it a date? It’s a parentaly forced hang out.”

“Did they teach you words like ‘parentaly’ at your fancy university?” Calum grinned.

“Yes.” Ostara snapped but she was grinning, “what are you drinking?”

Before Calum could answer, she grabbed the bottle from his hand, taking a swig and making Calum chuckle, “and now you drink too?” he mused.

“A lot has changed.” Ostara pointed out, looking at the beer, “this is good.”

“Yeah, which is why it’s mine.” Calum said, trying to grab the bottle back but the smaller girl danced away.

“Pretty sure this is my palace Hood, which makes this my beer.” she took another drink, “when did this place become such a frat house?”

“Ash invited us for the summer, besides, you have the whole extra palace anyways.” Calum pointed out.

“Yeah, my extra palace.” Ostara pointed out, “which I usually get all to myself and Ashton, except now it’s run rampant princes.”

“You say that like its a bad thing.” Calum smirked, going to the fridge again to find another beer to replace the one Ostara had taken.

“It is when princes are the thing I’ve been avoiding for years.” Ostara said, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“Why is that?” Calum asked, crossing his arms over his broad chest as he studied the younger Irwin.

“It just feels weird, the expectation, and all you princes are the same-”

“Ouch.” Calum laughed, “I assume you mean like Luke.”

“Well he has been the one in the tabloids recently.” Ostara pointed out.

“We’re not all like him, you know that.” Calum said, “was the date that bad?”

“Don’t call it a date, and yes.” Ostara said, lifting herself up to sit on the kitchen counter, she kicked her legs absentmindedly, “did you know that he has this compulsion to check out every ass that walks past him?”

“Yeah he does that.” Calum chuckled.

“And you don’t?”

He grinned, “no.”

“So you weren’t checking out my ass when I left the kitchen yesterday?”

Calum’s heart thumped, had she caught him?

“I’m kidding.” Ostara laughed, “god, lighten up, I’m still me Cal.”

He took a deep breath, studying the little mischievous glint in her green eyes that had been there since they were kids, “sure you are.”

-----

“Two days in a row, starting to think you’re stalking me Hood.” Ostara said when the prince entered the kitchen.

“We both just like the kitchen, that’s not a crime.” Calum shrugged, “you’re dressed up.”

“Had another ‘date’.” Ostara said, grabbing ice cream from the fridge. She sat up on the kitchen counter, the place that Calum was already viewing as her spot.

“Was it as bad as Luke’s?” Calum snuck a glance at her from over his shoulder as he reached into the fridge.

“Hmm, comparable.” Ostara said, sticking a spoon into the frozen dessert which she proceeded to lick clean.

“What was wrong with this guy?”

“Prince Shawn is nice-”

“He’s a softie.” Calum rolled his eyes, “definitely not your type.”

Ostara scoffed, “oh yeah? And what’s my type Hood? If you’re such an expert.”

He shrugged, “just… not prince Shawn.”

------

“So this is what? Five days in a row of dates?” Calum chuckled when Ostara entered the kitchen, setting her purse on the counter before finding a banana to eat as she lifted herself onto the table.

“Like I said, you’re a stalker.” Ostara groaned, kicking off her high heels which Calum dodged, grabbing a beer that he passed to her.

“I’m starting to think you’re just picky.”

“And what about it?” Ostara shrugged, “so what if a girl’s got taste?”

Calum smirked, “nothing wrong with that.”

“Hey aren’t you getting pimped out too?” Ostara asked, biting into her banana, “when are you ever going to tell me about your shitty dates?”

“I don’t have shitty dates.”

“Yeah, cuz I never see you going on any.” Ostara teased.

“I’m just… I don’t know,” Calum sighed, “not a fan of the whole PR dating thing.”

“Right, and I am?” Ostara rolled her eyes.

They both knew why Calum could get away with no pr relationships, the same way Ashton could. They were the eldest sons. The only reason Luke got wrangled into it was because he was the third child, just as Ostara was the second. They would never have a crown, unless they married into it, and they were good candidates for royal courtship. Royals married royals. That was known.

“Do you really want to hear about my bad dates?” Calum asked, running a hand through his hair.

“Yes!” Ostara exclaimed.

“I have one later tonight-”

“You have to tell me all about it when you get back.” Ostara stated.

“Hmm, not sure when it will be over-”

“Then give me your number, text me.” Ostara suggested, pulling out her phone.

Calum shrugged, taking her phone and punching in his contact info, “there.” he said, handing back her phone. He watched as she corrected his name from ‘Cal’ to ‘his highness’ and he couldn't help but smile.

Ostara put her phone away, “I can’t be the only one with a shit love life around here.”

Calum chuckled, “at least you’re not Luke.”

“Yeah, you’re right, that would be worse.”

---------

Calum’s knee bobbed up and down, his eyes fixed on the brunette who was going on about all the parties she’d been to in the past month. Gnawing at his lip, Calum tried to remain focused, but for some reason, his eyes kept straying away from the puffed up lips, protruding fillers and bodacious bust that every princess seemed to have. He wondered if they all went to the same surgeon.

The small buzz of his phone captured Calum’s attention and the girl followed his eyes, sighing, “do you need to look at that?” she asked.

“Uh, yeah, one sec.” Calum mumbled, picking up his phone to scan the screen. It was his friend group chat, the one with Luke, Ash and Michael.

Someone had sent a picture of Prince Liam and it looked like the other boys were tearing the guy to shreds. Calum quickly tried to get caught up in the convo, realizing that Ashton had originally sent the picture with the caption ‘future brother in law? I think the FUCK not.’

As if he hadn’t already been distracted by Ostara this entire date and now his friends were discussing her possible suitors? And Liam was not the kind of guy Calum wanted Ostara to be going out with. Sure, out of his gang of friends, Liam was… suitable, definitely better than others, but it just didn’t sit right with Calum.

“Is something wrong?” the brunette asked.

“What?” Calum looked up.

“You’re frowning.”

“Am I?”

“Yeah.”

Calum took one last look at the phone, eyes scanning a text from Michael that read ‘fuck that guy’ and then Calum turned off his phone, “sorry.”

“You seem distracted.” the brunette mused.

Calum sighed, “yeah, sorry-”

“I’ll get the cheque.”

Calum opened his mouth to argue but then stopped. It was true. It he didn’t want to be at that table with that princess. He wanted to be back at the palace, preferably in the kitchen, preferably with a blonde, preferably last named Irwin, preferably female-

His thoughts were cut off by the waiter who had returned with the bill, Calum pulled out his wallet, throwing some bills on the table. He stood up, mumbling a quick ‘sorry’ before he all but ran from the restaurant.

Calum made it back to the palace in record time, going to the kitchen immediately.

It was empty. Calum’s heart sank in his chest.

He pulled out his phone, looking at Ostara’s contact for a few moments before he began to type: ‘Back from my date.’

The little messaging bubble popped up almost immediately and Calum’s heart lurched in his chest while he waited.

‘We’re at the firepit, come join.’

Calum sighed. He’d been hoping to catch her alone. It was almost a ritual by now, one on one talks in the kitchen about bad dates. He didn’t really feel like disclosing the information about the bad dates with the guys. He didn’t want to have to share his attention. To hide the fact that his eyes would want to be on Ostara and no one else. It was something he’d already began to notice, the way he felt he had to act differently, to control himself, whenever Ostara and the boys were in the same place.

He couldn’t be open about how much he enjoyed the younger Irwin.

He knew Ashton would not be happy about it.

Hell, if Luke thought dating Ostara would be a shitty bro move, that meant something.

Calum sighed, grabbing two beers from the fridge absentmindedly, then he walked outside towards the firepit.

The sound of voices greeted him as he came around the corner, eyes landing on the group of people all lounging in lawn chairs around the firepit. Ashton noticed him first “where’s your date?” he called with a grin.

Calum rolled his eyes, going to sit by Luke who had pulled up a chair for him. “This for me?” Luke asked, taking the second beer from Calum before he could respond. The beer had been for Ostara Calum realized, but he wasn’t about to fight it, especially not in front of Ashton.

“So spill.” Ostara said, making Calum’s attention flicker to her for the first time. He’d been avoiding looking at her, but he figured he was allowed to address her after she’d asked him a direct question.

But now he had to figure out how to explain why the brunette had not been a good date. He had to come up with a reason that wasn't the truth: that she wasn’t Ostara.

“Uh, she was just really-” he thought about it, was trash talking another princess in front of Ostara a good idea? “We just didn’t vibe.”

“Isn’t this the girl who gave you a handy at the last banquet?” Michael asked, popping some chips into his mouth.

“That chick!” Luke said, snapping his fingers, “she’s a fox.”

Calum could feel his skin heating up, hot against the cool night air, and not because of the close proximity of the fire. “Yeah, that’s her.” he admitted, throat feeling thick as he swallowed and avoided looking at Ostara. He’d only half forgotten about that, he’d been very high.

“You guys vibed okay that night.” Ashton pointed out.

“Did her technique get worse?” Michael asked in confusion.

“She didn’t- we were in a restaurant.” Calum stated, taking a deep breath.

“So?” Luke grinned.

“Yeah, wouldn’t be the craziest place you’ve ever-” Michael began and Calum groaned loudly.

“Shut up Michael.” Calum commanded.

“You guys are so mean to him.” Ostara tutted and Calum offered her a half smile. She could feel how uncomfortable he was and Ostara had been raised to navigate awkwardness like a professional, so she easily changed the topic and Calum thanked god for her, “what are you guys wearing to the ball on Friday?”

“Velvet.” Luke answered immediately.

“Oooh!” Ostara leaned in, “what colour?”

“Red.”

“Wow, you really like to stand out don’t you?” Ostara teased.

“He’s six foot four, he always stands out.” Michael stated.

“I’m six’ two at best.” Luke insisted.

“Liar.” Ashton laughed.

“What are you wearing?” Calum asked before he could help himself, curiosity getting the better of him.

Ostara’s green eyes met his, “a lady never tells.”

“Fucking tease.” Luke muttered, earning a shove from Ashton.

Calum tried not to look at Ostara but she looked so cute, bundled up in an oversized red flannel. She looked so relaxed, so comfortable, so happy. He realized he had been staring a moment too long and tore his eyes away, looking instead at Ashton who was chatting with Michael about whether or not Michael would ditch the ball all together.

Calum’s heart was thumping in his chest and although he appeared to be listening in on the conversation, his brain was occupied with other thoughts.

He’d told Ostara that not all princes were like Luke, and yet it had just been made painfully clear that in some ways, they were. He regretted letting the brunette princess give him a handy under the table at that banquet. But, as much as he hated to think it, above all, he regretted the fact that it hadn’t been Ostara who had been the one to do it.

------

The days leading up to the ball were tense for Calum. He’d pretty much accepted the fact that he was a terrible friend and a terrible person.

He’d accepted the fact that he was lusting after his best friends sister.

He’d tried to avoid her at first but that had proved to be impossible, they both just loved the kitchen too much.

And then there was the fact that all any of them wanted to do was lounge by the pool. Calum couldn’t just stay in his room all day, that would have been boring and suspicious. So he found himself sitting in the shade with Michael, trying not to look at Ostara as she did her morning laps or tanned on a floaty.

It was very uncomfortable for him, fighting the ever incessant urge to sneak a peak even though he knew what negative effects it would have on him, in certain places in particular.

It didn’t help that Ostara was a happy, chatty girl who was always ready to ask him how his day was going any time they bumped into each other somewhere on the grounds. Calum didn’t want to be cold, but he didn’t want to be too warm either.

So he’d made an impulsive decision. Something that would keep him out of the palace for a while. He’d decided to go dye his hair.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time, and it was a good reason to avoid Ostara after. When she’d caught wind of what he was doing she’d messaged him ‘send me pics!’ and he’d replied with ‘hair reveal at the ball’ a text that he had stared at and hated himself for hours afterwards. But, he had justified not seeing her for three days and of course Ostara had respected his want to ‘drop a big reveal’ and had purposefully been avoiding him to not ruin the surprise. Which only seemed to make him adore her even more.

Getting ready for the ball was a chore. The four princes all had custom suits and they dicked around, drank, and chatted while getting ready in Ashton’s room. Try as he might to get involved in the conversation, all Calum could think about was what Ostara would be wearing.

Calum downed a shot, feeling the pleasant buzz wash over him. He was not about to go to a ball sober and he knew he was playing with fire. He knew that with lowered inhibitions, he could end up in high water fast, but he just couldn’t find it within himself to go to the event without being at least slightly tipsy.

He’d been mentally preparing to see Ostara dance with other princes.

He hoped that this time, he’d be ready for the view.

----

Again, Calum was wrong. Seeing Ostara jump from prince to prince hurt his soul. Watching hands that were not his caress her waist, covered in a soft looking, baby pastel yellow silk dress, made Calum’s fists clench at his sides. The way she smiled, looking so graceful and so princess-like… it was making Calum’s head spin, or perhaps that was the glass of whiskey in his hand?

Calum noticed prince Liam noticing Ostara and somehow his blood got even hotter. Especially as Liam began walking over when the song ended. Liam was upon Ostara within moments and although Liam may have missed the small micro expression that crossed her face as she turned to look at him, Calum didn’t.

He drank the rest of his drink, clenching his jaw as he set down the glass. By the time he looked up again, a new song had started and Liam had Ostara pressed to his chest.

“Look at that douchebag.” Michael stated from next to him.

Calum said nothing.

“One of us should go save her.” Michael continued, “Ashton looks pissed.”

Calum looked over at Ashton who was busy dancing, but his eyes were on his sister and Liam. “i’ll do it.” Calum stated, moving forward immediately.

He maneuvered through the crowd, eyes on his prize. His tattooed hand reached out on it’s own accord, tapping the prince on the shoulder, “wait your turn mate.” Liam said.

“Nah.” Calum responded, “think I’ll cut in now.”

Ostara’s hands were already moving from Liam to Calum’s broad shoulders and Liam didn’t try to fight it, sighing loudly before removing himself completely. Calum watched him leave and then turned to finally meet Ostara’s gaze.

“Your hair looks amazing.” she stated, “and thanks for saving me.”

“Was wondering if you were gonna come and say hi earlier.” Calum admitted.

“I wanted to! But my parents said I had to dance the first six dances for appearances or something.” Ostara frowned.

“So this is your last dance then you’re done.”

“Have you been stalking me again Hood?” Ostara laughed.

Shit. He had to stop just saying what was on his mind.

“Your dress is nice.” he said, changing the topic. It was just as silky under his touch as he’d imagined it would be. Ostara’s hand gave his a little squeeze, her fingers dancing over his shoulder and sending electricity running through his body.

“Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself.”

She could feel his breath against her face and with their chests all but pressed together, she could also just imagine that his heart was racing as fast as hers was. His eyes were a deep, beautiful brown and she was finding herself lost in them.

And the hair? Yeah, she was feeling it.

They both just looked at each other for a few moments in silence, Calum’s gaze flickered down and Ostara’s heart lurched in her chest. They were so close, it would be so easy to-

The song ended and Ostara caught movement of her brother walking over from behind Calum, so she pulled herself away, feeling her skin flush as she looked down.

“That Liam guy is a fuck.” Ashton stated, “thanks for stepping in Cal.” Ashton said, patting his friend on the back.

“Don’t mention it.” Calum said stiffly.

“Gotta talk to my sister about her choice in men, give us a sec.” Ashton said.

Calum didn’t question it, turning and leaving without so much as another word. He made his way to the bar where Michael caught up to him, “what the fuck was that?”

“Vodka.” Calum said to the bartender, leaning against the table top instead of looking at his friend, “what was what?”

“You and Ostara were dancing pretty fucking close don’t you think?”

“Lower your voice.” Calum hissed.

“I fucking knew it!” Michael said, voice low but still full of the arrogant ‘i told you so’ tone.

“Knew what?” Calum continued to play dumb, handing a bill to the bartender in return for his quick drink.

“You’ve been weird since Ostara showed up.” Michael said, “I thought maybe it was just because there’s a girl or whatever, but it’s because you like her, isn’t it?”

“Yes Michael. I have a big, fat crush on Ash’s little sister.” Calum said sarcastically, shooting his drink.

Michael laughed, “fuck man, you’re in so deep.”

He was. Calum knew it. And if Michael noticed, then it was only a matter of time until Luke or Ashton noticed, and the former had a big mouth so as soon as the cat was out of the bag with one, it would be game over with the other.

Calum turned around, leaning his back against the bar. His eyes searched before his brain registered what he was doing, finding the gorgeous blonde just as she slipped from the ballroom.

“Don’t even think about-” Michael began but once again, Calum was already moving, chasing after the Princess like a lost puppy.

His pace quickened, eager to catch the girl before she disappeared into one of the many rooms in the palace, never to be found again. Calum remembered playing hide and seek as children, Ostara had always managed to disappear, not that the boys had ever actually looked. Hide and seek had been more of an excuse to get her to piss off at the time, but not anymore.

He heard her heels clicking against the marble floor and followed the sound, turning a corner just as she slipped from view. Calum groaned, running down the hallway to follow, “Ostara!”

She turned and looked at him, “Calum?”

He caught up to her finally, not sure what to even say. All he knew was that his heart was racing, from the running or the booze or maybe the beautiful girl standing in front of him giving him her full attention.

Calum realized in that moment that his fears of losing inhibitions while tipsy were well merited. His hands reached out and cupped Ostara’s face, eyes searching hers momentarily for a reaction in case he was going bat shit crazy and she didn’t want him to kiss her.

But when her eyes went to his lips, he knew that he had the green light.

He moved forward, pressing his lips against hers. Ostara’s hands found his chest as she moved closer, kissing back immediately. Calum’s tongue swiped across her bottom lip and Ostara’s mouth opened eagerly, tasting the liquor on his tongue. His teeth teased her, nipping into the lipstick stained kiss.

Ostara’s hand moved from his chest to his shoulders and then to his neck, locking him close to her as if she never wanted to let go. One of Calum’s hands left her face, going down to the small of her back, teasing just above the cute bum he wanted to grab so badly.

His grip tightened and Ostara smiled against his lips, happiness contagious as Calum laughed slightly, eyes opening to look at the beautiful girl in his arms. Her fingers played with his hair, tugging slightly as he brought his lips down on hers again.

His hand slipped lower, finally grabbing her ass as she moaned into his mouth. The noise made Calum groan too as he felt his pants getting tighter, the front of their bodies rubbing against each other in an effort to do the impossible and get somehow even closer.

“Ostara!” Ashton’s voice rang out in the hall and the couple jumped away from each other. Ostara’s eyes widened as she looked at Calum immediately wiping at his mouth to get rid of the lipstick covering his face. Likewise, Calum brushed at her mouth which was also smudged with red.

“Shit.” Calum muttered as the sound of footsteps got louder.

“You need to go.” Ostara whispered.

“What?”

Ostara’s small hands grabbed at the front of Calum’s suit, dragging him to a door to a side room, she shoved him inside before he could argue.

��Calum stared at the closed door, heart racing in his chest.

“There you are!” he heard Ashton’s voice, “what the fuck happened to your mouth?”

“I wiped my lipstick by accident cuz I’m dumb.” came a quick and easy answer.

No argument from Ashton on that subject.

“What’s up? Im going to go fix this-” Ostara continued.

“Mom and dad said if you want to leave you have to say goodnight to a few people first.”

“They said six dances and I’m done-”

“Yeah but they still want you to say bye.”

“Okay, I’ll be right there, just gotta head to my room first-”

“I’ll come with, need to talk to you about that Liam guy.” Ashton stated.

Calum’s heart sunk as he heard retreating footsteps. He was so screwed.

----

He’d gone back to his room immediately after to take a cold shower.

He’d paced, eyes flickering to his phone obsessively, waiting for a text that never came.

He’d considered going to her room, sneaking out in the dead of night to go profess his adoration like some prince from the fairy tales, the type of guy she deserved.

Sleep had been difficult to come by, and every time he closed his eyes, images of her danced across his vision like a bewitching goddess demanding his devotion.

At six AM Calum rolled out of bed, pulling on sweats and a plain white t shirt. He set off to the kitchen, hoping for some coffee to get his day started.

Calum was rubbing at his eyes when he entered the room, groaning then removing his hands, he stopped in his tracks. Of course Ostara was in the kitchen.

Standing over a pan with an egg in it, dressed in the tiniest little matching white and yellow starred sleeping shorts and crop top Calum had ever seen, her blonde hair pulled into a messy bun, she took his breath away.

Her green eyes moved up to meet his and her skin immediately flushed all pretty and pink.

“Hey.” Calum croaked, voice low and sleepy.

“Hey.” she retorted. Silence settled over the kitchen and then: “coffee?” she pushed forward a french press that was half full.

“Yeah.” Calum shuffled forward, grabbing a mug then pouring himself the drink. Ostara tried not to watch the beautiful way his tattooed hand wrapped around the white ceramic, all large and perfect-

“How did you sleep?” he asked.

“Uh…” Ostara laughed, blush returning, “not great, you?”

“Not great.” Calum smiled, leaning against the counter next to her while she cooked, “cute outfit.”

He was enjoying making her blush.

“Oh my god.” Ostara groaned, setting down the spatula she had in her hand so she could cover her face.

Calum smirked, “what?”

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

She peaked at him through her fingers, “that! Being cute.”

“If you don’t want to see me looking like this, maybe you should close your eyes.” Calum suggested.

“What?”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“No.” Ostara laughed.

“Your loss.” Calum shrugged, sipping at his coffee.

Ostara groaned in exasperation, turning the stove off before she looked at Calum one last time, closing her eyes. Calum set down his coffee and Ostara said “now what?”

“God, be patient.” Calum tutted, squaring his shoulders as he turned to her fully.

He studied her for a moment. Taking in her pretty pink lips, the dimples already showing as she smiled with excitement, her long lashes, the way strands of blonde hair had escaped her bun to frame her face.

His hand came up to brush one of the strands behind her ear and Ostara flinched slightly, one eye peeking open at him, Calum laughed, “eyes closed.” he whispered, caressing her cheekbone with his thumb as his hand came to cup her face.

Ostara let out a shaky breath, following his command. Once Calum was sure her eyes were closed, his thumb that had been on her cheekbone moved down to her lips, brushing the bottom one, pulling it down slightly, “so pretty.” he whispered.

Ostara’s heart was racing in her chest, body anticipating the warmth that Calum’s mouth would bring, the electricity that she knew would erupt over her skin like wildfire.

Being completely at his mercy was torturous, her hands fidgeted at her sides, not knowing what to do with themselves while she waited.

The first kiss was soft, a mere brushing, a tease. Ostara moved in for more immediately and Calum pulled away, she could hear his smile, “eyes closed.” he reminded her as if he could read her mind, knowing that she was dying to look at him.

His thumb stroked her cheek as he kissed her again, lips moulding against hers as he finally allowed her to melt into the kiss, her fingers going down to the waistband of his grey sweats to pull him closer.

He enjoyed cupping her face. It felt right. It felt intimate. It showed everything he was feeling but unable to verbalize. It proved how much she meant to him. How much he cared. His need for her to feel safe and protected-

Music flooded through the kitchen and for the second time in a day the pair pulled away. Luke always walked around blaring music from his phone like an obnoxious prick, and he entered the kitchen moments later, stopping to look at Calum and Ostara who acted innocent, standing a few feet away from each other, Calum sipping on his coffee while Ostara grabbed a plate to put her egg on.

“You two look suspicious.” Luke stated.

“Says you, why are you even awake, its early.” Calum fired back.

“Touche.” Luke sighed, “have another PR date thing.”

“You mean you’re cheating on me?” Ostara said in mock shock.

“No baby, I would never.” Luke stated, sounding offended.

Calum’s jaw clenched at the pet name.

“I’m going back to my room.” Ostara announced, “you two have fun.”

Calum tried not to look at her bum as she left the room but it was so cute and perfect in her little star shorts, besides, Luke was looking too which pissed him off… but, Calum knew he wouldn’t get caught.

Luke turned back to look at Calum, “at this point Ashton should be thanking god that I’m a good friend, because she’s cute as fuck.”

-----

The noon sun was hot and piercing, the royals only leaving the air conditioned comfort of the palace to hang by the pool. Luke was still not back from whatever errand his family had sent him on, which left Calum, Michael, Ashton and Ostara to their own devices.

Laying in the sun, Ostara was reading, while the other three tossed a ball around in the pool.

“So bored.” Michael groaned.

“This used to be so much fun when we were kids, what changed?” Ashton agreed.

“When we were kids we’d play chicken which I fucking bet you is still fun.” Michael pointed out, “fucking wish Luke was here.”

Ashton’s gaze shifted to his sister, “Ostara get in the water.”

“Hmm?” she asked, having not been paying attention.

“We’re playing chicken, come get on my shoulders.” Ashton commanded.

Michael and Calum looked between the siblings, “I’m not going to shove your sister-” Michael began.

“It will be fine.” Ashton assured him, waving his hand, “Ostara get in here or I will drag you in.”

Ostara sighed, closing her book, she knew Ashton would follow through with the threat.

When she stood up, Calum got the nicest view of her cute little pineapple print bikini. The girl had a thing for prints, but she always made it work, and Calum’s heart was soft as fuck.

She waded into the pool and Ashton approached, bending down so his sister could get onto his shoulders, “I hate you.” she stated.

“You better fucking win or I’m disowning you.” he warned her.

Meanwhile, Michael had gotten on Calum’s shoulders and everyone had gone to the deep end of the pool to make it easier.

“Michael-” Ashton began.

“If I touch her chest I’m dead, I know.” Michael said, “it’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair is the fact that you have like forty pounds on her.” Ashton pointed out, “okay, three, two, one.”

The chicken fight started and everyone began to laugh as Michael and Ostara hesitantly pushed at each other. It was obvious that the two most dominant, competitive guys where Calum and Ashton, both of whom egged on their partners to “fucking push him already!”

Calum felt kind of bad, just kind of, when Michael managed to shove Ostara into the water. She came up sputtering, slicking her hair back as beads of water rolled off her glistening, sun kissed skin, a massive smile on her face as she laughed.

In that moment Calum knew he had to calm the fuck down, or he wouldn’t be able to get out of the pool. Calum’s heart was racing and Ostara stated “again!”

Before Calum could object, she was scrambling onto her brothers shoulders to fight Michael once more.

Calum tried not to look at her, tried not to notice the glistening water droplets adorning her body like jewels, jewels that he would buy her, jewels he would bathe her in if it meant he could even so much as hold her hand.

Calum let Ostara push Michael into the water and when Michael surfaced a flurry of curses left his mouth as he shoved at Calum, “fuck off! You let her win you asshole!”

They gave up after that, Ostara once more leaving the pool to continue tanning. Once Calum knew he had calmed down enough, he joined her, laying next to her on the large beach towel. He didn’t say anything, staring up at the cloudless sky, just enjoying the feeling of being close to her.

A few minutes later Ashton sat between them and guilt panged through Calum’s chest.

“Don’t you have another date soon?” Ashton asked.

“Fuck what time is it?” Ostara shut her book quickly.

“Two thirty.”

“Fuck.” Ostara jumped up quickly and ran to the house, Calum frowned.

----

Calum paced outside the restaurant.

He’d taken one look at the outfit Ostara was wearing as she ran from the palace and he’d been blinded. The short, red silk dress had practically knocked him off of his feet, and he’d be damned if he let her slip through his fingers to whoever she had a date with that day.

Calum knew he was about to be the biggest dick in the entire universe.

He knew he was overstepping… probably.

But as seemed to always be the case with Ostara, he couldn’t fucking help himself.

Calum took a deep breath and entered the restaurant, stopping as the hostess immediately looked at him in shock, “I’m here to meet people, Ostara Irwin?”

The girl nodded, “follow me.”

The restaurant was high class and the hostess led Calum to a booth in the back where Ostara was sitting with a Prince that Calum recognized immediately.

“Calum!” Harry grinned as Ostara said “Calum?!” in shock.

Harry even stood up to give the younger prince a hug, “been a while mate, how’ve you been?”

“Good.” Calum said, “You?”

“Been great.” Harry smirked, sitting down, “you joining us?”

“I’m sure he’s not-” Ostara began but Calum had already sat into the booth next to her.

“Suppose you’re here to chaperone for Ashton? Knew that guy didn’t like me.” Harry chuckled.

“He’s got high standards for his sister.” Calum stated.

“I get that.” Harry nodded, “what’s your poison mate?”

A waiter was waved over and Calum and Harry both ordered shots to lighten the mood, even though Calum knew that not even the light of god himself would persuade Calum to be even remotely inviting.

After about ten minutes of Calum being cold, Ostara stated “Harry, I’m just going to talk to Calum for a second, need to call my brother and tell him not to be such an ass.”

“Take your time pet, I don’t mind.” Harry said warmly, confidence oozing off of him.

Ostara turned to look at Calum who stood up and let her lead him to the hall that led to the private bathrooms. “Okay, listen here-” Ostara began but Calum grabbed her hand and pulled her into one of the private bathrooms, not wanting anyone to witness the altercation.

He locked the door behind them and finally turned to the fuming blonde, “you can’t just crash my dates! You are not my big brother and you’re sure as fuck not my boyfriend either.”

“Let’s change that.” Calum stated.

“What?!” she looked taken aback for a moment.

“I said,” he grabbed her face, looking into her eyes, “let’s change that.”

She wanted to be angry. She did. But damn it if she didn’t understand where he was coming from.

Her heart was racing as he looked into her eyes, waiting for a reaction, waiting for acceptance or rejection.

Ostara’s fingers tangled in his dyed blonde hair, dragging his mouth down on hers.

Their teeth clashed but neither cared, too enraptured in the intense passion that had surrounded their hearts, burning hot through their veins as they grabbed at each other, desperate for contact. Calum pivoted, shoving Ostara against the door as his hands pushed up at the red silk dress, fingers dancing over every new milimeter of exposed skin.

His thigh pressed up between her legs and Ostara moaned into his mouth, setting Calum’s heart racing impossibly faster.

His digits made contact with something lacey and he groaned into her mouth, beginning to drag down the flimsy material of her thong but Ostara grabbed at his wrist, tearing it away as she pushed at his chest.

Calum removed himself, breathing heavily as he looked at her, taking in the red smeared lipstick that covered the area surrounding her mouth yet again.

She was flushed, back pressed against the door, eyes slightly hooded as she stared at him, chest heaving, dress still shoved up to her waist. Calum snuck a glance down, satisfied that the lacy thong was black, but it just made him want to grab her again. She pulled down her dress, tearing her eyes from him as she looked at herself in the mirror. “Fuck.” she cussed, wiping furiously at her face.

“Here, let me-” Calum stepped forward.

“I’m on a date Calum.” Ostara stated, shoulders falling in defeat, “and you’re my brothers best friend-”

Calum stopped moving, looking at Ostara.

He watched her remove all the lipstick from her face, not saying another word as she left, shutting the bathroom door behind her to leave Calum to his thoughts.

It was obvious to Harry as soon as Ostara returned that something had happened, after all, a girl doesn’t just spontaneously remove her pretty red lipstick that matched her dress perfectly.

“So you and Cal huh?” Harry grinned.

“Fuck I’m so sorry-”

“No, it’s fine love, don’t worry about me, but I am a little surprised that you’re going on dates when you two are obviously-”

“We’re not together.” Ostara stated.

“Hmm.” Harry looked her over, “could have fooled me pet.”

“He’s my brothers best friend-”

“So he should be well suited, doubt your brothers gonna be mates with assholes.” Harry mused, leaning back in his seat as he studied the obviously conflicted girl in front of him, “and if he doesn’t like it then fuck him.”

“It doesn’t work that way-”

“You’re a princess, he’s a prince, this is the only way this sort of thing works love and we both know it.”

----

“Okay, so do you live in this kitchen or what?!” Ostara practically screamed as her eyes landed on the familiar strong shoulders hunched over while Calum grabbed a beer from the fridge.

“I was here first this time.” Calum stated, still looking in the fridge, “how was the rest of your date?”

“I-” Ostara began but stopped when Ashton and Luke entered the room, “okay there are so many fucking rooms in this palace, why is everyone always in the goddamned kitchen?!”

“What’s got your panties in a knot?” Luke said, moving away from Ashton who tried to shove him.

Calum’s heart clenched and Ostara laughed at the irony that was lost on everyone but her and Calum. He had her panties in a knot. Or at least he had the hour before. “You know what, I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

“Its like five.” Ashton stated.

Ostara left the room, “I don’t care!”

----

Before Ostara even opened her door she knew who it would be. She’d been expecting Calum to turn up, they obviously had unfinished business and Calum had been on edge all day.

As the large door swung open to reveal Ostara standing there in a black, long sleeved, sleeping button up with with cartoon pumpkins on it, Calum hated himself for still thinking she was the prettiest girl in the entire world. It brushed her mid thigh and Calum couldn’t tell if she was wearing shorts underneath, his hands twitching as they itched to reach out and discover the answer.

Ostara didn’t say anything, simply moved to the side to let him in and close the door.

“We need to talk about Ashton.” Calum stated.

“Do we though?” Ostara groaned.

Calum looked her up and down, “you don’t want to talk about this?”

“Close your eyes.”

“Are you serious.”

“Don’t you trust me?”

Calum sighed, hearing his own words back at him, he realized how suave he had been that morning. Crossing his arms over his chest, Calum made a big show of closing his eyes.

“I still think we should talk about this.” Calum said.

He waited for an answer that never came.

Instead, Ostara grabbed his hands, pulling slightly to make Cal give in and uncross the arms that had been protecting him from what was to come.

Holding his hands at his sides delicately, Ostara swung them a little, looking up at the beautiful Prince whose eyes were still closed. He looked composed, the only thing betraying his inner anxieties was the rapid beat of his heart, the artery in his neck fluttering as he breathed in and out.

Ostara studied his pretty throat for a moment, stepping closer to allow his smokey smell to wash over her. She was a lot shorter than him, and she could just reach his neck with her lips, so that’s what she did.

She pressed a kiss to the skin just above his racing artery and Calum sucked in a breath, hands tensing in hers.

“Eyes closed.” she breathed against his neck, causing a shiver to run through his body. He swallowed thickly, adam’s apple bobbing in the most endearing way. Ostara kissed his throat again, parting her lips to allow her tongue to taste his skin, again, his heart beat faster.

Her teeth grazed the artery and Calum’s body jolted, hands tearing from Ostara’s so they could land on her ass, lifting her up before she could so much as scream in surprise. Her legs wrapped around Calum’s waist as she clung to his shoulders, about to object when his lips met hers and every word in her brain disappeared.

His kisses were hungry and desperate, tongue immediately sliding over her bottom lip before his teeth came down to gnaw at it teasingly. Suddenly she was falling, landing on the plush fur duvet that covered her king sized bed. Calum was on top of her, grinding down against her panty covered core as one hand slipped up her thigh, once more greated with lacy material.

He groaned into her mouth, excited to discover that she had, in fact, not been wearing shorts. For a brief moment he wondered if she’d planned this whole thing but he didn't dwell too long on the idea, too enraptured by the princess writhing underneath him.

His hips rocked, creating friction and pressure that made them both moaning messes in each others hands. Calum’s lips moved to Ostara’s neck and her fingers tangled in his hair, urging him on as he found the spot that made her toes curl, legs wrapping tighter around his waist.

Pushing himself up with one hand he looked at her shirt, admiring the fact that she was wearing a Halloween themed sleeping shirt in the summer. His fingers were almost shaking as he popped open the first button, then the second, then the third. With each newly exposed piece of skin it became more and more evident that she was first, not wearing a bra, and second, totally prepared for this. She was in control. This had been planned. Calum had fallen into her trap. And he didn’t mind one bit.

Once every button was undone, he teased the stripe of bare skin with a finger, paying extra attention to the area between her breasts as she watched, heart thundering with patient anticipation.

“Take this off for me princess.” he said, voice soft.

Pushing herself up slightly, Ostara wasted no time wiggling from the shirt. She already had goosebumps from his touch and she shivered as the fabric fell from her shoulders, exposing her to him for the first time as she lay back down.

One finger traced up from her belly button to her left breast, circling closer and closer until he brushed his knuckles over her nupple, “so pretty.” he mused as she pushed up towards his hand, eager for more.

“Please Cal.” she begged, the neediness in her voice was the sexiest thing Calum had ever heard in his entire life.

He kissed her mouth, then began his venture downwards, pressing soft kisses on her neck, then her collar bones. When his lips wrapped around her nipple, teeth teasing, his right hand fully massaged her other breast. Her fingers tangled in his hair as breathy moans rang through the room, Ostara’s back arching slightly in an effort to get him to do something, anything, more.

Calum’s lips continued downwards as he slipped from the bed, getting onto his knees as he pulled her to the edge, fingers hooking in the panties that he gingerly slid down her legs. Once they were discarded on the floor, Calum placed Ostara’s thighs on his shoulders, hands going to her hips to hold her down as he briefly enjoyed the view.

“Close your eyes.” he stated, “want you to feel all of this.”

Ostara’s breathing was ragged as Calum took a teasing lick, her right leg jerking slightly on his shoulder which made Calum smirk, fully putting his mouth onto her. His tongue flicked at her clit before sucking gently, earning breathy moans that egged him to go harder.

Her nails scratched against Calum’s scalp and he enjoyed the sensation, groaning a little, the vibrations made Ostara jolt again, her grip tightening in her hair. “Calum!” she whined loudly. As a reward for how pretty she sounded, Calum brought up a finger, sliding it inside of her easily and curling.

Her body reacted immediately and Calum knew from her whimpers, and the small tremors with each harsh suck, that she was close. He chased her high, having always felt entitled to a woman's orgasm. He knew he was good with his mouth and Calum refused to feel bad about that.

Adding another finger, he began to thrust his digits in and out even faster, curling each time to hit the spot that had Ostara’s back arching, hands pulling at Calum’s hair as the orgasm rippled through her body, lasting longer due to Calum’s continued motions as she whined and moaned, putty in his hands.

When her back touched against the mattress again to signify the complete end of her high, Calum pulled away, sucking his fingers into his mouth as he stood and pulled off his shirt.

Eyes closed, chest heaving, Ostara made Calum dizzy.

Calum was about to reach for a condom when four small words were spoken that nearly shattered Calum’s very existence: “I’m on the pill.”

‘I’m going to marry this girl.’

Calum pushed the thought away, kicking off his pants and boxers. Ostara’s legs opened for him, inviting the prince to get back on top of her as he pressed a kiss to her lips, “you alright?” he asked, her fingers immediately finding their place in his platinum hair again.

“Uh huh.” she breathed, one hand snaking between the two of them to grab the base of his cock, lining it up with her, all that was left to be done was for Calum to close the distance.

As he entered her they both moaned, lips attacking again with the same passion that always seemed to be present when they kissed.

The muscles in Calum’s shoulders tensed as he remained still for a moment to be sure she was ready for him to move, Ostara’s fingers dancing along the broad expanse of skin.

Her legs tightening around his waist was Calum’s cue to move as he pulled almost all the way out before snapping his hips forward again, entering fully. Her warmth cocooned him and he let out a throaty groan, “you’re so fucking tight.”

“You’re just big.” Ostara breathed against his lips, eager for more kisses as the prince began a quick pace.

Her nails dug into his scalp and shoulder, a reminder, on top of the sinful sounds leaving her lips, that he was making her feel good.

That’s when Calum remembered that, like most Princesses, Ostara had been forced into rhythmic gymnastics at a young age. He grabbed onto her thigh, moving it up slowly in case she had lost some flexibility. He was delighted when her leg went all the way up and over his shoulder, allowing him a new angle that had him going impossibly deep. They moaned louder and Calum moved back a little, lips mourning her loss but eyes adoring the new view.

His hand moved up on its own accord, sliding across her collarbones and up to her awaiting neck that she craned for him, welcoming him, giving him access.

The ring clad fingers of his left hand wrapped around her throat, giving a testing squeeze that only further excited them both, Ostara letting out the most sinful, whiney noise yet.

Calum’s stomach lurched and he knew that if she kept it up with those sounds, he would be cumming fast.

In an effort to slow the process, Calum began to remove his grip but suddenly Ostara was grabbing his forearm with both hands, forcing Calum’s chokehold to remain on her throat as her eyes opened, staring at him, more moans left her lips and Calum could feel her fluttering around him.

She was just as close as he was and it was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen.

All he could do was stare at the beautiful girl as his thrusts quickened and his grip tightened, chasing both of their highs with the determination of a king.

Cold rings bit into Ostara’s flesh and after a particularly deep thrust, another orgasm washed over her, taking Calum with it as they both moaned loudly, bodies awash with euphoria.

After the last aftershocks, Calum removed his hand from her throat and took her leg from his shoulder, letting it fall onto the bed as he pulled out of her and rolled onto his back next to her. Ostara immediately snuggled into his side, hand over his beating heart.

They stayed that way for a while, trying to catch their breaths.

Calum finally sighed, “do you want me to go?”

“You’re silly.” Ostara stated, voice breathy and happy. Her finger traced circles on Calum’s chest, “stay the night.”

-------

She was warm. Skin soft and beautiful under his delicate touch as Calum explored the curve of her shoulder and arm, bring goosebumps to her skin from the contact and the soft caress of his breath on her bare back.

There was a soft sigh of content and Calum smiled, “did I wake you?” he asked.

“Yeah, but it’s okay.” came a delicate response as Ostara snuggled back against Calum.

“Will you go to the ball with me next week?”

“Of course.” he could practically hear her sleepy smile.

“And I want to take you on a real date.” Calum stated.

“Hmm?”

“I want to do this right.”

Another happy sigh, “okay.”

-----

As soon as the limo door closed Calum looked at Ostara with wide eyes. They’d been papped leaving the restaurant and they both knew that this could be bad. Neither knew how Ashton would react when the pictures dropped, which they both knew they would.

Calum’s hand went to Ostara’s thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze, “if he gets mad-”

“We can pretend we’re just friends-” Ostara began.

They both stopped.

They both knew that neither were good enough actors to get around this.

They’d known each other their whole lives.

They’d been flirting a few weeks.

They’d fucked and gone on an honest to god date.

Hell, Calum had pretty much asked Ostara to be his girlfriend in a fit of jealousy. They both knew they were in deep, and because of this, neither of them were particularly scared of Ashton anymore which was odd.

Ostara laced her fingers with Calum’s, “it’s going to be okay.”

Calum felt it too. Somehow, they knew they could make it work.

They both felt naive and stupid. They both knew they were being very narrow minded, but there was just something about the way that they fit that told them they belonged together.

They’d arrived at the palace when their phones began dinging, signalling the likelihood that the pictures were somehow already posted.

With a deep breath and a reassuring glance, the young couple entered the palace where they were almost immediately sabotaged by Ostara’s giggling older brother, “guys have you seen twitter?” he asked, “apparently people think you two are dating.”

His gaze lifted from his phone and that’s when he noticed how close the two were standing. The smile left his face, “is… is there a PR contract you two haven’t told me about-”

“Would it be that bad if we are dating?” Ostara asked.

Ashton’s gaze hardened, turning to his friend, “you have got to be fucking kidding me-”

“Ashton-” Ostara began, moving in front of her older brother who had taken a step towards them.

But Calum spoke, “didn’t mean for it to happen-”

“She’s my fucking sister!” Ashton bellowed, finally exploding.

“And he’s your best friend!” Ostara screamed, matching her older brothers temper, “so you know he’ll treat me right!”

Ashton stopped moving forward, considering for a moment what had just been said, “there’s a code.” he spat.

“I never agreed to a code!” Ostara insisted.

“It’s a bro code, you don’t need to agree-”

“Well when it affects me, I most definitely should get a say you sexist-” Ostara began to fume.

“What is going on?” came a new voice as Michael and Luke showed up, both looking worried as the Irwin’s squared off against each other.

“Calum and I are going to the ball next week together, because we’re dating, and you’re going to accept it!” Ostara told Ashton.

“I will not!” Ashton glared.

Ostara let out a loud groan of exasperation, grabbing Calum’s hand, she turned and dragged the platinum prince out of the room.

“Can’t believe Cal backstabbed you like that.” Luke breathed.

“Hey, it’s not that bad-” Michael began.

“That’s my fucking sister!” Ashton screamed.

Michael sighed, “okay, it is a little bit bad.”

-----

Calum and Ostara spent almost the entire week outside of the palace out on cute dates that were incessantly papped. Ashton tried to avoid the pictures at first but he felt himself getting softer as each day passed and new shots of his sister laughing and looking genuinely alight with happiness were uploaded.

And fuck it, Calum looked happy too.

Michael pointed out on day four that Calum and Ostara seemed to really like each other, and Ashton couldn’t argue with it, which annoyed him terribly.

Michael and Luke were trying to support Ashton in his endeavour to remain upset, but it was obvious that everyone else supported the new, happy couple. Especially Ashton’s parents who had known Calum his whole life and were more than thrilled that he had began to date their daughter.

Ashton knew that Michael was still hanging out with Cal, and the two drank beer by the pool late at night when they thought Ashton wouldn’t notice. He couldn’t find it in his heart to be mad about it, especially when he’d almost stumbled across them and heard Calum saying “she’s really special man, I can’t explain it.”

Plus, Ashton preferred having Calum where he could see him as opposed to in Ostara’s room, which is where Calum was practically living since Ashton had made a fuss about kicking him out of one of the guest rooms the day he’d found out they were dating.

He was getting used to the idea.

He missed his best friend.

He missed his sister.

The night of the ball arrived and Ashton was at the bar with Michael and Luke when the happy couple arrived. Entering the ballroom, the two walked hand in hand, looking at each other and giggling as if nothing else mattered in the whole world.

Ashton was surprised when prince Harry approached the two of them, from what he could see it looked like he was congratulating them? Ashton had a weird hate on for Liam and that included his friends, Harry being one of them, so seeing the fact that Harry seemed to be excited and supportive made Ashton’s blood boil.

Had he really stooped lower than the notorious British playboy?

Ashton groaned. He was making the whole thing about him. He knew he was being selfish and he couldn’t shake the fact that Calum had broken the bro code, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t toyed the idea of chasing after Calum’s sister at one point in time…

Ashton sighed. He was definitely in the wrong.

He spent a solid half an hour watching his sister and her new boyfriend.

The soft touches, the lingering stares, the never ending smiles and giggles… it was sickeningly sweet. Ashton loved it. He hated that he loved it.

His sister did deserve to be happy and Ashton knew that. He just wished it was with someone else.

Ashton looked for a good moment to approach but never found one. The ball ended and Calum and Ostara disappeared. Ashton knew he should wait until morning to find them, but the guilt was already eating at him, and soon he found himself outside of his sisters room.

He knocked and waited.

A minute later the door opened to reveal his sister in sweats and a hoodie that looked somewhat haphazard and Ashton couldn't help the fire that burned through him momentarily, eyes shifting past her to Calum who was pulling on a shirt.

“I came to apologize, but I don’t know if I can do that anymore.” Ashton stated.

“Calum go to the bathroom.” Ostara said.

“What?”

“You’re bruising my brothers ego, go away real quick.” Ostara explained.

Calum sighed and trudged to the bathroom, out of sight. It helped a little, Ashton had to admit.

“You know, maybe I shouldn’t give you my blessing.” Ashton stated.

“No take backs.” Ostara insisted.

Ashton sighed, “but why Calum?”

“Why is he your best friend?” his sister countered, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Hate it when you’re logical.” Ashton groaned, “fuck, fine, you two look good together. I should go talk to Cal-”

“Talk to him in the morning.” Ostara said, stepping in front of her brother to block his way.

Ashton narrowed his eyes at his sister, “you two disgust me.”

“You’re the one who showed up here at like midnight-”

“You’re the one who chose to date my best friend-”

“Well you’re the one who made the stupid bro code-”

“I didn’t ‘make the bro code’ you silly, and besides, you’re the one who made Cal break the bro code-”

“Oh I ‘made’ him break it?” Ostara scoffed.

Calum listened to the siblings bicker, smiling to himself as he waited for the sound of Ostara’s bedroom door to close. When it did, he peeked his head out of the bathroom to make sure Ashton was gone.

“Thought he’d never leave.” Calum mused.

“Are you questioning my ability to fight my brother?” Ostara asked, opening her arms for Calum whose hands settled on her waist.

“I think I used to.” Calum admitted, “but not anymore.”

Ostara grinned, “so I’ve proven myself?”

“Uh huh.” Calum chuckled.

“Good, because if I was a wimp we’d still be in big trouble.” Ostara pointed out.

God, he adored her.

Part of him always had, and he knew that now.

He was exactly where he was supposed to be, and for the first time, Calum was prepared for whatever the future with Ostara might bring.

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dewitty1 · 4 years

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Saturday Six (Stuff)

So, anxiety about going back to work (too soon IMHO, but it's whatever now) has made my stupid neck tense up something awful. The CBD stuff (lotion outside, & oil inside) I've been using doesn't seem to be working like it did before. (o;TωT)o

I had a customer try to flirt with me (I guess?) yesterday. The only problem was he talked to me about fishing (not bad, though I haven't been in a few years), and hunting (which I absolutely do not do) and about eating venison (deer meat- yucky IMHO because I was FORCED to eat it growing up), and all this while I'm kind of panicking a bit about social distancing (I'd already asked him to move away). He then decided it would be a great idea to send me a text (mind - we've only had one other interaction, for business, a few years ago. And maybe made similar small talk, iirc? Idek), saying that "it looks like you've been losing weight. Looking good." Ummm, dudes, since when is this acceptable? Let me tell you. It's never acceptable. Never. Please stop. s(・｀ヘ´・;)ゞ

I'm on the last chapter of a really long fic that I'm enjoying for the most part, but you can tell that it would have been useful for the author to have had an alpha/beta team. I really appreciate those of you who do, honestly. This is just my shitty reader opinion, and I know it doesn't mean anything to any of you, I'm just saying, please fanfiction writers, use alpha/betas for your works. It's so beneficial for you and your eventual audience. (*´ω｀)o

My son and I watched an episode of hoarders this week. Coincidentally, it was filmed in my home town of Marysville. I kept trying to figure out if I knew where the house was, but I couldn't recall. Anyway, it had to be one of the most disturbing places I've ever seen. Packed to the ceiling with basically trash. So nasty. I asked him if he was trying to say something by making me watch this or what. He denied it, but I'm still unsure about it. Kids today, amirite? :;(∩´﹏`∩);:

The Dude (that's @super-ultra-mega-kami-guru for all you new folks, btw) has been making me watch Avatar: The Last Airbender now that it's on Netflix. I was determined not to like it at first, so I didn't really pay attention in the beginning. Now I'm all like "Ahhhh, I love Uncle Iroh! He's the best!" （*´▽｀*）

I finally, finally(!) got new glasses! They were expensive AF (yes I got them online don't @ me) because I went with Warby Parker, and my prescription is out of this world, and I need bifocals (damn you DIABEETUS). I have a friend who works for them. Also, for every pair you buy they give one to someone in need. You can read about their exchange program here. Why is something medically necessary so damn expensive? Oh right Healthcare in the in the USA fucked, ugh! ANYWAY, now I can SEE! A non-blurry world is nice. (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

Bonus: I'd like to welcome all my new followers! If you came for Fic Recs, those pop up on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and wrap up on the last Saturday of the month. I may do random ones if I spot a new rec with a moodboard or something, though. There's always lots of HP/Drarry content, as well as a healthy dose of USA politics, and anything else that strikes my fancy. You never know what you're gonna get (just like momma's box of chocolates!)

Anyway, thanks for joining this mess! I hope you enjoy whatever flings out of the dump. ヾ(◍’౪`◍)ﾉﾞ♡

#Saturday Six #June 13 2020 #Personal #About me #Please do not reblog #Feel free to respond though #I'm always open to chatting or asks #carey rambles about herself #Ramblin on and on and on as is her wont

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hyunjins-wife · 5 years

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|Not that Bad| A Bang Chan Scenario

I wrote this in a spur of the moment yesterday while looking at this moodboard I made, and I really like it.

Word Count: 1,442

Bad bay au!

“So you want me to do what?”

“You heard me”

“Ok but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do it”

“Listen just one date and then I’ll be out of your hair”

You looked the boy over, tall with a head a bleach blonde hair. Bang Chan was a force to be reckoned with. His image of the ‘bad boy’ in school made most people either afraid of him or thirsty for him but you knew better. He had caught you at your locker, feigning innocence and asking for your english notes. But once you started talking his real reason of coming to you was revealed.

He had a problem, one he thought you could fix. He was attractive, anyone with eyes could see that. And girls threw themselves at him constantly. It was normally most boys dream. But he apparently wasn’t too fond of it. There was a girl who you had been know to dislike. She hated you and you hated her. The feelings were mutual. And as Chan started talking you realized the situation.

She had asked him out last week but he rejected her with the words that he had another girl who he was seeing. And his dumb ass thought you would fill in that role.

“Listen she doesn’t believe me. And just think you’ll finally get a real jab at her. You will have something she wants. Me”

You looked up at the boy. He did have a point. You had been looking for a way to really get back at her. She made a fool of you a couple weeks ago in class and you hadn’t forgot.

“Fine one date”

And with that you shoved a piece of paper you had written your number on into his hands and walked off to class fighting the blush coming up your neck.

That night you were laying in bed watching vines and other crack things when you got a call from an unknown number. You answered curious.

“Hello?”

“Hey babe”

You threw the phone to end of your bed and pressed your back against the wall. You forgot you had given Chan your number. After sitting for a couple of seconds more you reached out and grabbed the phone.

“Chan?”

“Yes that’s me”

“Oh uh hi”

“Hi. Ok so listen I was thinking you could come with me to the big party tomorrow night.”

“Oh uh ok yeah sure”

“Cool I’ll pick you up at 8”

And with that he hung up. You sat flustered for a moment before flopping back on your bed.

This boy was going to be the death of you.

One thing you didn’t expect was for a boy like Chan to be punctual. But he was just full of surprises apparently. At 8:00 on the dot a knock sounded on your front door. You grabbed your bag and opened the door.

He was in his what you described as, ultimate bad boy apparel. Black jeans hugged his legs and the rips in them exposed parts his of thighs and knees. A black band shirt and a leather jacket finished the look with black combat boots.

“Ready babe?”

You nodded and followed him to his car. After getting in he started driving to the party one of his friends was throwing, someone by the name of Minho. You realized half way there you didn’t even have a plan for this ‘fake dating thing’

“So anything you need me to do specifically while we’re here?”

“I actually haven’t really thought about that, but it’s a good thing you did. Just stay with me I guess. Don’t wander and whatever you do don’t take anything to drink from Minho.”

You nodded as he spoke about some other people that I should stay away from him. It was in the moment that you realized something.

“You know you aren’t the worst person in the world like I thought you were.

“Thanks?”

“You just surprised me is all. You’re this big, bad guy that people warn me about, but in reality you aren’t all that bad. I mean what bad guy has a koala keychain on his keys.

“Hey leave my keys out of this”

You both laughed at that. You settled into comfortable silence. Soon after you pulled up the house and parked.

“Should I be scared?”

“No, as long as you stay with me no one will bother you”

You nodded and got out following him into the house. You took two steps into the house and reached out to grab his arm. He glanced back around at you and grabbed your hand pulling you into his side. He then let go of your hand and threw his arm around your shoulder steering you in the direction of his group of friends on a couch in the next room.

A group of eight other boys and several other girls sat around laughing when we walked up. They all turned and greeted us. We sat down in the floor and soon enough a childish game of truth or dare had started.

You had kind of been forgotten as you watched the game go on. You looked up and caught Minho glance at you and wink as Jisung finished his dare.

“Alright (y/n) truth or dare?”

“Dare”

Minho glanced at you with a devilish look before stating your dare.

“Since you and Chan seem to be so comfortable with each other and none of us knew. I dare you to sit in his lap for the rest of the game.

Your face heated up as you looked at the carpet underneath you. You let out a squeak though when you felt hands grab your hips and pull you over. Your ears turned red at that and you buried you face in your hands.

You felt Chan brush your hair from your neck and he bury his nose into it. You could feel his smirk as he started to whisper to you.

“Don’t worry kitten it’s fine. Now what you can’t see is the bitch herself walked in a little bit ago. So why don’t we give her a show”

You nodded and finally relaxed into his arms. They had circled your waist and you actually entertained the thought of how nice this was. Maybe he wasn’t that bad. Maybe you wouldn’t mind a real thing with him.

After a couple more hours he drove you home.

“You know I’m a bit surprised”

“About what”

“You didn’t drink. I’ve heard a bunch of drunk stories about you.”

“Yeah well I knew I’d have important cargo on the way home”

You blushed at his statement and asked another question.

“You think she’s pissed?”

“Yeah she already texted me about it”

“What’d you say?”

“That I was taken and would love it if she stopped talking to me”

“Cool”

He hummed in response and pulled up to your house. He helped you out and walked you to your door.

“Thank you for a cool night. I’ve never really went to those parties.”

“They’re over rated anyways. Maybe next time we could do something a bit more fun”

“Next time?”

He let a huff of air through his nose.

“Cmon kitten don’t tell me you’re that gullible?”

“I guess I am”

“Listen you know of me. When have I ever asked anyone for something like this. A fake date? That’s not me. Look I’m not good with feelings”

“Yeah neither am I”

“Well maybe we have more in common than you think. Anyways look I like you and yes I want there to be a next time.”

“Ok”

And with that you opened your front door and stepped inside.

“Ok?”

You turned and looked at him as you started to shut the door.

“You have my number. Ok.”

You shut the door and leaned back against it feeling the blush run up your neck. You got an idea and opened the door to see him still standing there.

“I knew you couldn’t resist”

You reached out and grabbed his jacket and pulled him into you. You landed a kiss on lips and his hands latched onto your hips. He pulled you into him more and his hands started to wonder a bit lower. You let him stay in that postition for minute longer before breaking the kiss and stepping back causing his hands to fall back to his sides.

“Next time.”

And with that you slammed the door and leaned back against it with a grin on your face. Little did you know though was he was doing the same thing.

Maybe he wasn’t as bad as people thought.

#stray kids #stray kids scenarios #kpop scenarios #bang chan #kim woojin #lee minho #lee know #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #han #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #i.n #stray kids ot9

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idkxwriting · 5 years

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Another Love - Part 6

Author: idkhaylijah

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x Reader

Warnings: cursing

A/N: Guys! Thanks so much for all the love you showed me yesterday! It meant the world and it made my birthday super special. Also, as always, you’re incredibly patient with me - and this got longer than I anticipated, so there will be another chapter or two.

Catch up here

I’m running out of gifs - Rissy I need you to make me moodboards lol

“When I suggested we meet for a drink in the middle of the afternoon, I was implying coffee, Damon,” Y/N watched as her friend sipped his bourbon.

Damon let out a breath, side eyeing her. He put his glass down and patted the stool next to him. “Yea, well, it’s been one of those days.”

She sat, signaling the bartender that she’d take the same. “Your brother’s girl?”

“Yup,” Damon said, popping the ‘p’. “What about you?”

Y/N groaned, dropping her head into her arms on the bar. “I slept with Elijah.”

“Shocking,” he said sarcastically.

Y/N sat up and sipped her drink, letting it burn her throat on the way down before it settled heavily in her stomach, warming her belly. “Kol’s home. He almost caught us. Not to mention he’s technically my boss and now it’s ending before it even started.”

Damon held his glass up to hers. “To love. It’s painful, pointless, and overrated.”

“I’ll drink to that,” she clunk her glass to his before chugging it down, wincing at the taste.

“You know what we need?” Damon asked, signaling the bartender to leave the bottle.

She shrugged, resting her head in her hand as Damon topped off her drink.

“We need to get completely wasted and forget all about them. No more Elijah, no more Elena. Let’s just get them both out of our systems.”

“What on earth are we drinking to this early in the day?” Kol sidled up to Y/N, taking her by surprise.

“Kol, hey! You’re here! Damon, it’s Kol.”

Damon nodded, tilting his cup towards him. “Hey man, I’ve heard a lot about you,” he greeted unenthusiastically.

Kol held his hand out to him, shaking politely while sizing him up before turning his attention back to Y/N. “How are you, darling?”

“Good,” she swallowed. “I’m good. Yup, really good, great even. You know me. How are you? Why are you here?” She sputtered nervously.

Kol chuckled at her rambling, eyeing her glass in her hand and feigned offense. “Can I not come see my best friend?”

“It’s just…”

“It’s been a while, I know. I swung by your place and you weren’t there, so I figured I’d check the Grill and here you are.” He took her in for a moment, relieved to be speaking with her. He had missed their friendship, and as difficult as it was to say goodbye and take some space, the distance had done him some good. “The truth is, Y/N, I’ve missed you,” he paused, feeling like he was able to take a deep breath for the first time since he had left. “And I’m sorry.”

Y/N furrowed her brow. Kol was apologizing to her? The guilt was getting heavier by the second, sitting in her chest, pressing against her bones and weighing down her heart and lungs. “Kol, I should probably tell you…something happened, while you were gone. And I didn’t...I mean, it’s just...”

“She’s seeing someone,” Damon chimed in.

Kol was taken aback for a moment. “Oh...right, well, good for you,” he forced a smile. “Who’s the lucky guy? Anyone I know?”

Y/N swallowed. Her nerves were frazzled, and she instantly regretted attempting to go the honest route. She had thought Damon and the bourbon might give her a little courage, but it had only complicated things more. “The lucky guy? The lucky guy is...well, I’ll tell you,” she was circling the drain.

“I’m the lucky guy,” Damon smiled cockily. Y/N kicked her foot into his shin, sending a subtle warning and sharp pain up his leg. Damon shifted, attempting to relieve the pain, but kept his smile plastered on his face.

Kol narrowed his eyes for a moment, glancing back and forth between the two of them. “Well then, congratulations.” His voice was strained, as if he were trying to sound happy for her. “So how did you two meet?”

“She hit me with her car,” Damon winked at Y/N, turning to put his arm around her.

Kol’s eyes widened as Y/N back pedaled, explaining the situation to Kol but leaving Elijah out of it.

They spent the afternoon catching up, Damon filling in the blanks when Y/N began to stumble nervously over her words. Y/N was simultaneously grateful for him covering for her, and frustrated, knowing they were just digging her in deeper.

They ended the evening with Kol insisting they both spend the evening at the Mikaelsons. Kol was throwing a bonfire to catch up with his friends he hadn’t seen in a while, and Rebekah and Marcel had just returned from their trip.

They said goodbye to Kol, with promises to meet him at the house later that night. The second his car was out of view Y/N turned and smacked Damon’s chest. “What the hell was that?”

“Ow!” Damon grunted. “The way I see it, I saved you back there. In fact, you owe me.”

“You saved me!?” She shouted incredulously. “Damon! Now not only am I lying about Elijah, but I’m lying about you, too! You practically dug my grave for me.”

“You said it yourself,” Damon argued. “You and Elijah are done. Trust me, I’ve been Kol. I just saved him from having his heart ripped out, and I saved you from losing your best friend. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. You’re both better off this way.”

She huffed and stormed past him, slamming her shoulder into his. “You’re driving,” she snapped.

When they arrived at the Mikaelsons everyone was already there, including Caroline, to Y/N’s surprise. She raised her eyebrows at her friend, who shrugged and made a “don’t ask” face. She slid into Klaus’ side, a red solo cup in hand.

The music was loud, and the majority of guests were out back, circling the bonfire and passing drinks. Y/N rolled her eyes at the amount of people Kol considered friends.

She smiled when Rebekah came rushing in the room, her arms wrapping Y/N up in a hug. “God, I’ve missed you, it’s been far too long!”

Y/N returned the hug with enthusiasm. “Bex! I can’t wait to hear all about Paris, tell me everything.”

Rebekah loosened her grip on her friend, a lovesick grin spreading across her face. “It was so romantic. Marcel is just upstairs, he’ll be down shortly.” She glanced over Damon, her disposition changing immediately. “And who is your friend?” She asked stiffly, her eyes scanning him.

“Damon Salvatore,” he held his hand out and Rebekah looked at it, a tight smile gracing her lips.

“The pleasure is all yours, I’m sure,” Rebekah sneered before turning to chat with Klaus and Caroline.

Damon leaned in to speak quietly. “Gotta say, your friends are the warmest bunch I’ve ever met.”

Y/N winced. “Rebekah can be kind of…” she trailed off looking for the right words. “...well, a bitch to be honest, but she grows on you. She just needs to warm up.”

“Yes,” Klaus chimed in as he walked over and leaned in to kiss Y/N on the cheek. “You’ll have to forgive my sister. She has quite the temper. Klaus,” he introduced himself, shaking Damon’s hand and squeezing harder than necessary.

Damon turned his lips up smugly and nodded while Y/N excused herself to speak to Caroline. Damon was about to follow when Klaus placed his hand on his chest, stopping him in place. “Though Rebekah’s temper is nothing compared to my own.”

Damon removed Klaus’ hand. He spotted the bourbon at the bar across the room, and excused himself. If he was going to make it through the evening, he’d need all the help he could get.

“So, what exactly are you doing here, Care?” Y/N asked, her voice shouting over the music..

Caroline raised her eyebrows at her accusingly. “What am I doing? What are you doing? Elijah? Really? And now Damon? What the hell has gotten into you?” She hissed.

Y/N turned on Caroline then, making sure no one could see or hear the words she spoke next. “Care, please. I don’t know what’s going on and frankly, I haven’t had time to even begin to process it. So please, just cut me some slack tonight and keep it to yourself. I’m begging you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. But we are talking about this later. In detail,” she demanded.

“Deal. But for now we are going to circle back around to what are you doing here with Nik?”

She shrugged and glanced at Niklaus. “I don’t know. He just gets to me, ya know? I can’t seem to stay away.”

Y/N snickered. “Maybe you should stop running, then. You ever stop to think maybe you’re drawn to him because he’s the one?”

Caroline scoffed. “Please. Klaus is not the one.” She paused, her face softening as she watched him talk to his sister. He laughed at something she said, his eyes crinkling and smile wide. He caught sight of Caroline and he said something once more to Rebekah, kissing her on the cheek before excusing himself and joining Caroline again.

Y/N grinned and shook her head, wishing her closest friends would stop dancing around this thing they had between them and just go for it.

“So where are the rest of the Mikaelsons?” She tried to keep her voice casual, but really only wanting to know where Elijah was. She wanted to see him, or maybe avoid him. She wasn’t even sure anymore.

Klaus smiled knowingly at her. “Kol is outside, and Elijah is, well come to think of it I don’t know. I haven’t seen him, love.”

Y/N nodded, and helped herself to a drink. The group mingled, Damon joining them once more, a bourbon in hand. Caroline made sure to include him in conversation, which gave Y/N a chance to slip away unnoticed.

She really should have known - anytime Kol had said the words “small get together” what he was really saying was he was throwing a massive party. The amount of people and the noise had her feeling overwhelmed and searching for some quiet.

And maybe Elijah.

She peeked into the kitchen but there was no sign of him. She wasn’t sure if she felt relief or disappointment. She headed further down the hall figuring she’d freshen up before rejoining her friends. She pushed past the groups of people mingling in the hall, muttering ‘excuse me’s they were too drunk to care about. She was almost to the bathroom when a hand grabbed her, pushing her into the laundry room and shutting the door behind her.

“We need to talk,” Elijah said pressing her into the door.

Y/N felt her senses clouding as they always did when he was near. She knew they needed to talk, but she wasn’t sure she’d survive the evening after he ended things in what was essentially a glorified closet. “I don’t want to talk.”

She tried to leave but he caged her in with his arms. “Y/N what is going on with you?”

She bit her lip. “Elijah, I get it, okay? Kol is home and you’re technically my boss and things are complicated so it’s done. It’s fine, it is what it is. I knew going into it it’d be a one night stand, we don’t have to spell it out, okay? So can I please just go?” It was as if she had opened a floodgate, unable to contain any of her words once they started pouring out.

His chocolate eyes held a pained expression. “Is that what you think this is?”

She shrugged and glanced around as if it were obvious. “Oh come on, Elijah, where did you see this going?” She snapped, her walls going up to keep herself from feeling any more than she already had for him.

His eyes narrowed, the warmth in them fading. He pressed his lips into a thin line and dropped his arms in defeat. “Well then, I guess there’s nothing to discuss,” his voice was cold and definitive as he buttoned his suit jacket, adjusting it to perfection once more.

She stepped out of the laundry room, deciding she’d make her rounds outside, promising herself she wouldn’t cry.

“There you are,” Damon met her in the hall. He tossed a look over Y/N’s shoulder as Elijah stepped out of the laundry room. He rolled his eyes. “Heads up, love birds, you might not want to disappear right in front of everyone if you don’t want to get caught.”

“Damon,” Elijah said dryly. “How wonderful to see you again.”

Y/N walked past both of them without a word. When she joined her friends again, Marcel hugged her. Y/N offered to grab another round of drinks, grateful for a distraction, and Rebekah followed close behind.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Rebekah asked quietly. “You seem upset.”

The only thing worse than trying not to cry was trying not cry while someone asked if you were okay.

“I’m fine.” She flipped her hair off her neck and Rebekah pulled at the edge of Y/N’s shirt.

“Bloody hell, is that a hickey?”

Damon swooped in, once again helping her keep up the facade. “There’s my girl,” he said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. He kissed her temple, whispering a reassurance into her hair.

She reached up, holding onto his arm to steady herself. She could feel Elijah’s cold stare on them from the doorway and she tried her best to act naturally, though she was sure she was failing spectacularly.

“I just can’t seem to keep my hands to myself where this one is concerned,” Damon stated smugly. He gave Elijah a cocky grin, egging him on just for fun knowing there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

Y/N elbowed him discreetly, warning him to take it down a notch, but Damon ignored her. “I’m sure you know how that goes, right?” He taunted him.

Elijah bit down, locking his jaw to keep his mouth shut.

Damon shrugged lazily. “What am I gonna do? I just can’t say no to a beautiful woman,” he wiggled his eyebrows flirtatiously at Rebekah, thoroughly enjoying himself.

Rebekah scoffed and walked away, muttering about Damon being a dog.

Y/N wormed her way out from under Damon’s arm, and suggested she needed some fresh air. She stepped out onto the porch and made her way towards the fire in search of Kol.

Elijah watched as she left the room, desperately wishing he could be the one that followed her outside. Instead he kept his legs rooted, not daring to move.

“I don’t know about you, but I could most definitely use another bourbon,” Damon suggested casually as he stood next to Elijah.

Elijah’s eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at Damon, deciding he wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of playing into it. “Of course. Forgive me, where are my manners?” He took the glass from the other man’s hand, filling it generously before pouring his own. They sipped on their bourbon in silence.

“Well, this has been pleasantly awkward,” Damon winked. He turned to make his way to the porch when Elijah called after him.

“Damon,” his voice was calm and steady. “Touch her again and I promise you it will be the last thing you ever do,” he smiled politely.

Damon furrowed his brow and squared his jaw before nodding in understanding and dismissing himself.

The evening had been uncomfortable to say the least. Y/N was grateful that Rebekah seemed pretty caught up in Marcel to pay much attention to her, Elijah or Damon. She could feel Caroline studying them, and when she thought she couldn’t take anymore Klaus pulled her attention away. Y/N mouthed a ‘thank you’ at him, to which he responded with a wink.

Elijah on the other hand had hardly looked away from them. So much for being discreet, Y/N thought. She had been sure to look anywhere but his direction, though that didn’t stop the feeling his unwavering stare left. She moved through the crowd, Damon close behind her, but Elijah always seemed to be close by and aware of her. Or maybe it had been the other way around.

Then there was Kol, who had barely said two words to her all night, surrounded by a group of girls she had never seen before, though she thought she might have recognized one as their waitress from the Grill.

“Breathe,” Damon leaned in and whispered.

She let out a stuttered breath. “This was a bad idea,” she groaned.

“There’s no such thing as a bad idea. Just poorly executed awesome ones.”

She snickered quietly.

“Care to share with the rest of the class?” Rebekah interrupted.

“Rebekah,” Marcel tried to reel her in, and Y/N was grateful, but she knew it was useless.

Damon glanced around, and upon Elijah’s stiff look decided he had had enough torture for one evening. He almost felt bad for the guy. “Just commenting on how great the party has been, thank you.” The corners of his mouth lifted to force a smile.

Rebekah studied them for a moment. “I don’t get you two as a couple.”

Marcel knew how difficult meeting the Mikaelsons could be. He loved them all, but being an outsider once before, he felt for Damon. “So, Y/N, how did you and Damon meet?”

Y/N waved her hand at the question. “Oh it’s kind of a boring story.”

Damon chimed in immediately. “Y/N crashed her car into mine,” he said casually.

Y/N cut him off, his words catching the attention and concern of Niklaus. “Obviously everyone is okay,” she muttered. “It’s no big deal. Could someone pass me a drink?” She nodded towards the cooler behind Caroline.

Caroline handed her a beer along with an off handed comment. “I don’t know, with your judgment lately,” she shot Damon a look “it sort of seems like you may have hit your head pretty hard.”

Y/N snatched the bottle out of Caroline’s hands. “My head is fine, Care,” she gritted through her teeth.

“Did you have it looked at?” Kol interrupted, falling into their little circle as he stared Damon down. “Because I agree with Caroline. You seem...off.”

“Brother,” Elijah warned, joining the conversation.

“She does seem off!” Kol defended. “I mean, you’ve been a nervous wreck all night, darling. Your cheeks have been flushed since you got here, and you’ve looked like you’re hanging on by a thread.”

“Like you would know, Kol. You haven’t talked to me all night,” she muttered.

“Perhaps we should give the lovely Y/N a break and discuss something else,” Elijah chimed in, attempting to keep the peace.

He was about to suggest a topic when Rebekah interrupted. “No, as much as I hate to admit when Kol is right, he is. Y/N what is going on with you? Is it a head injury from the car crash?”

Elijah sighed. “It was a mild concussion and some bruised ribs, she’s perfectly fine, now can we please discuss something else.”

“How do you know?” Kol looked between the two of them.

Y/N suddenly wished she hadn’t left Elijah out of her earlier retelling.

“Because I was there,” Elijah said nonchalantly, as if it were common knowledge.

And maybe it should have been, but telling Kol about that first night with Elijah felt like a betrayal to Y/N, even if nothing had happened. “He was passing by and helped me,” she elaborated.

Klaus cleared his throat. “Well, I think that’s my cue to leave. Caroline would you care to join me?” She shook her head and planted her feet, waiting for the drama to unfold. Klaus rolled his eyes, hating that he would be forced to be present as well.

“It’s just that you didn’t mention that earlier today,” Kol continued.

Y/N shifted uncomfortably. “I guess I forgot,” she watched Kol’s eyes for anything, but they gave nothing away. Before he could investigate further, Y/N changed the subject, her eyes narrowing in on a group making their way towards the bonfire. “Did you invite Tyler Lockwood?”

Kol smirked like he was up to something. “Tyler Lockwood can’t resist a good party. And Richard Lockwood can’t resist cleaning up his son’s messes. If they want to play dirty and try to steal the Gilbert account, well then, I’d like to have a little bit of blackmail if we need it,” he winked and went to greet Tyler and his friends.

Damon turned, grabbing Y/N’s arm. “Remember you owe me one,” he hissed.

Y/N watched Kol with Tyler, her eyes narrowing at the two. She chugged what was left of her beer, watching them make their way over to their group. Tyler was followed by Matt and a girl she hadn’t recognized. She briefly reminded her of Katherine, but her features were softer, more approachable.

“Damon, hi,” the girl said, her brown eyes questioning his presence.

He took a swig of his drink, placing his arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “Elena,” he smiled. “Where’s Stefan tonight?”

She shrugged, her hands tucked into her jeans, clearly uncomfortable discussing Stefan in a group setting.

Y/N watched his features soften, the cocky facade falling away. His hand tightened its grip ever so slightly, and she suddenly knew his arm around her wasn’t to make Elena or Elijah jealous, or to make Kol believe they were an item. He was grasping onto anything he could for support, because this girl had broken his heart.

“We broke up, actually,” she finally said, meeting his eyes.

His grip loosened and his blue eyes filled with concern - an ocean of sorrow for the girl he loved.

Y/N grabbed his glass from his hand. “You know what? I’m going to go grab us some refills,” she said. For good measure she decided to throw Damon a bone and leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll be back, babe,” she winked and made her way up to the house.

She was in the kitchen, trying to clean up some of the mess left behind when she felt his presence. Her body was acutely aware of him. It was as if all her nerve endings came to the surface and reached out to him when he was near. She did her best to ignore it, instead focusing on the task at hand.

“So that’s it? Now you’re with Damon Salvatore?” Elijah asked.

Y/N rolled her eyes, not bothering to turn and face him. “Please, I’m not with Damon. He’s got womanizer written all over him, I’m smarter than that.”

Elijah stepped further into the room. “Yet I don’t even get the decency of an actual discussion before you decide you and I are done?”

He was angry, and she understood that, but she couldn’t deal with it right now. Not if she was going to keep up the pretense that nothing had ever happened between them in front of Kol.

“Because if you had bothered discussing things with me, you’d realize I never had any intention of this being a one night stand, or a weekend fling. Don’t cheapen it like that,” he kept his voice harsh but low, stepping even closer to her.

She paused her movements but kept her eyes trained on the bottles and cans in front of her. Afraid that if she looked up and saw anything less than what she felt for him that she’d break.

“Y/N I have worked to keep my distance from you for years, but the moment I kissed you I knew I’d never let you go. At least not without a fight,” he continued.

Y/N met his gaze then, biting her lip.

He crowded her, taking the small bag she had been using to gather up discarded cups from her hands and placing it carefully on the counter. He used his thumb to tug her lip from her teeth, soothing it gently. “Talk to me,” he said softly. “Please, tell me what it is you want me to do. Because I can’t go back, Y/N.”

She swallowed nervously, her chest swelling. “It’s not a one night stand for you?”

He bit back his shy smirk, the ache in his chest subsiding for the first time since she left that morning. “No,” he whispered, placing his hand on the back of her neck. “It’s everything.” He pressed his lips to her cheek, breathing her in and as he pulled back his hushed words danced over her skin. “You are everything.”

She wrapped her arms around him, clutching him tightly, feeling as though she could finally breathe. “So what do we do?”

He sighed into her hair. “I’ll speak to Kol.”

She shook her head. “No, he should hear it from me.”

“He’s my brother, I take full responsibility.”

She released him then so she could look up at him. “Elijah, I love you but Kol isn’t exactly your biggest fan to begin with and that’s precisely why he should hear it from me. He’s less likely to kill me.”

Elijah couldn’t fight the grin that spread across his face. “I’m sorry, could you say that again?”

“I’m less likely to be murdered?”

He shook his head, suppressing his smile. “No, lovely Y/N, the first part.”

Her brows drew together in confusion. “Kol isn’t your biggest fan?”

“No there was something even before that, and I’d very much like to hear it again…”

Y/N thought for a moment, unsure of what he was looking for and played the conversation back in her head. The color drained from her face as she realized what she had said.

Elijah moved his face closer, his lips not even an inch from hers, his hand on her neck.

“Do we have anymore vodka?” Rebekah barged into the kitchen, causing the two of them to jump apart.

Y/N bent down to Kol’s not-so-secret stash and snatched a bottle from the cabinet, handing it to Rebekah.

“Why do you look so happy?” Rebekah asked suspiciously as she studied Elijah’s proud and rare grin.

He shrugged. “Must be the alcohol.”

Rebekah sighed. “Bloody hell, I’m not drunk enough for this,” she snatched the vodka and made her way back outside.

Before she could be left alone with Elijah and her blurted confession, Y/N agreed, and followed quickly behind.

Kol hadn’t let Tyler out of his sight. He also hadn’t let his cup go unfilled. He cheered on every shot and encouraged every chug. When he was good and drunk, Kol brought up work, trying to dig up any dirt on his father’s company.

“So Lockwood, tell me, do you always try to sniff around like dogs to steal accounts?” He chided. “Or just when business is bad?”

“Please man, you guys aren’t gonna get the Gilbert account. I’ve been friends with Elena and her family for years,” Tyler boasted. “Move on!”

Kol smiled smugly. “Yes, well, that may be true, but it’s best not to mix business with pleasure, don’t you agree?”

Matt shifted uncomfortably as Tyler drunkenly guffawed. “That’s rich coming from a Mikaelson.”

Kol narrowed his eyes. “What is that supposed to mean, Lockwood?” Tyler butt heads with all of the Mikaelsons, his distaste of Niklaus and open hostility towards him (which may or may not have been justified - Klaus had after all, stolen his first love) kept the rest of the siblings on edge around the Lockwoods. Kol was defensive, and the alcohol had him just itching for a fight.

Tyler looked around as if it were obvious. “Come on man, Klaus practically keeps Caroline’s event planning company in business just to stay in her pants…”

“Tyler!” Caroline’s voice carried across the porch, she and Klaus overhearing them as they were headed for more drinks.

Klaus was in front of him before she could stop it, his jaw tight and his shoulders square, daring Tyler to take a punch.

Tyler straightened up, his nose practically touching Klaus’ as he refused to back down. Kol jumped up, ready to hold Klaus back, but his fists clenching, begging for a swing. “Nik, let it go,” he ground his teeth.

“I will make you suffer in ways your pathetic, spoiled little mind couldn’t even imagine,” Klaus growled. Tyler swallowed but he stood his ground.

Y/N saw them and made her way over quickly, knowing nothing good would come out of it. Elijah was right behind her, and as they approached he tucked Y/N behind him, placing his body between hers and the heated exchange. “Niklaus,” he warned.

Klaus stepped back, Caroline pulling on his arm, begging him to leave it. “He’s not worth it,” she said. “He might have been, once,” she shot Tyler a look over her shoulder. “But not anymore.”

Her words were weighted, telling Tyler it was really over, and anger flared up in his chest. “That’s right Klaus, walk away!” He called after him.

Elijah placed his hand firmly on Tyler’s chest. “I believe you may have reached your limit for this evening, Mr. Lockwood. Why don’t we call you an uber?”

Tyler shrugged him off aggressively. “And this one,” he shouted, pointing at Elijah. “...hires his little fuck buddy so he has something to do in the office,” he spat.

“Alright, come on,” Elijah tried to direct him away before he could say anything else, but Tyler looked over his shoulder at Y/N.

“My dad said you were by far his worst employee, but I guess you weren’t fucking him, huh, Y/N? Maybe if you had sucked his dick, too, you’d still have your job.”

Elijah slammed him into the wall. “Enough!” He jabbed his finger into his chest. “Go home, Tyler. You’re done.”

Y/N felt her cheeks burn, and she glanced at Matt who had the decency to at least look ashamed. She wondered briefly if there was anyone he hadn’t told.

“What’s he talking about?” Kol asked her, not bothering to look at his brother.

Matt grabbed Tyler, dragging him away. “Come on, Ty, you’re drunk.”

Elijah straightened his jacket, his eyes on Y/N’s.

“Right, who needs another drink?” Caroline asked enthusiastically, attempting to defuse the situation once Matt had Tyler out of there.

No one moved, all eyes on Y/N when Kol spoke again. “Is it true?”

“Kol,” she started, her voice soft and apologetic.

“Are you fucking my brother?” He asked louder, his voice hard.

Elijah turned to him then, ready to take responsibility for the entire situation, but Kol still didn’t look at him.

Y/N kept her eyes on Kol’s, not saying a word. She didn’t need to. Besides, what would she say? There were no words that would heal what she had just done to him.

She could see it in his face - she shattered his heart.

Kol nodded, his jaw ticking. He looked out towards the bonfire, taking a deep breath, trying to steady himself. The ache in his chest came in sharp, but then it throbbed heavily, letting him know it was settling in. He felt the tears prick his eyes. He shook his head and shuffled his feet trying to keep them at bay. He let go of the pain, making room for anger instead - filling the cracks of the broken pieces inside of him with rage.

“Brother,” Elijah’s voice broke through, and before he could continue Kol rounded on him, his fist connecting with his jaw. Elijah’s stance didn’t falter - he had known the blow was coming. He had deserved it.

His acceptance and calmness only served to make Kol angrier. Kol swung again and Elijah took it, rubbing his jaw.

“Kol!” Y/N shouted.

Kol ignored her, instead drawing his fist back once more, but Elijah had had enough, blocking the punch and grabbing Kol by his shirt. “Enough, brother,” he said through gritted teeth.

Kol lashed out, pushing Elijah back with all his might, but Elijah turned them so Kol hit the wall instead, pinning him there. His eyes were threatening, but Kol didn’t care. He wanted Elijah to fight back.

Y/N wedged her body in between them, using her arms to push them apart, holding Kol against the wall. She stared at Kol for a long moment, who was still shooting daggers at his brother. When she turned and looked at Elijah, her eyes pleading, he nodded at her and stepped back.

She turned her attention back to Kol, who pinned all that rage onto her.

He stepped into her hand, so it was pressing against his chest. “Honestly, Y/N, where do you think this is going to go? You’re better than just another one of Elijah’s office floozies.”

She moved back at that, her eyes giving away the sudden sting she felt.

“Oh come on,” Kol spat. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know? This is what he does. First it was Celeste, then Hayley, then Gia. You’re just another office whore to him.”

Before the first tear rolled down her cheek Elijah had pushed past her, his fist connecting with Kol’s nose. Y/N jumped back, Caroline steadying her.

“Elijah!” She cried, but they both scuffled until Kol was on the ground. Kol struggled to fight back, and got a punch or two in, but Elijah was on top of him, his knees pinning him down. He drew his arm back once more, but Klaus caught it.

“That’s enough, brother. He’s had enough,” Klaus pulled him off of Kol. Elijah’s chest was heaving, but he didn’t fight Klaus. He kept his eyes trained on Kol, and ran the back of his hand against his mouth, wiping away the blood from his lip.

Kol struggled but got to his feet, pinching the bridge of his nose, the blood dripping down his chin to his shirt. He groaned but stood tall, squaring off to face his brother, his rage still simmering.

Y/N looked between the two, her eyes burning. She knew she must be crying, but she ignored it, anger winning out over the hurt.

Nobody said anything for a moment, and Caroline placed her hand on Y/N’s shoulder tentatively, but she shook it off.

Her eyes were full of hurt, disappointment, and shame. Neither of the Mikaelsons were sure which to address first.

“Is that what you think of me?” She finally asked Kol, her voice cracking. “I’m a whore?”

The anger inside of Kol’s chest subsided for a moment as the guilt began to seeth in, but then he saw Elijah move towards her and he hardened his gaze.

She nodded in defeat. She vaguely heard Elijah call out for her, but she kept her head down, her arms crossed over her chest. “Take me home?” She asked Caroline, who nodded and shot an apologetic look to Klaus. Y/N pushed past both men, rubbing at the traitorous tears she so wished would wait until she at least got to the car - Caroline directly on her heels.

to be continued

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#another love #elijah mikaelson #elijah mikaelson x reader #reader insert #kol mikaelson #Damon salvatore #Klaus x caroline #the originals fic #Elijah Mikaelson imagine

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