#if anyone could help boost this even if you delete it the next day

[punkeccentricenigma]

Rise!Boys accidentally confess their love to Reader.

Relationship status: Romantic

Reader prounouns: They/Them

TW: Slight angst for Raph's part, Some grammatical errors because english is not my first language.

Author's note: Just enjoy lol.

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Leonardo

◇ Ever since Leo realized his feelings, his casual demeanor towards [Y.N] had turned into almost aggressively flirting.

◇ Despite not wanting to rush into confessing his feelings, he was practically a simp for that person..

◇ But he also teased them often, of course, not on a seriously offensive level. Just light pokes and prods.

◇ I'm sure he bragged to anyone about his not-yet relationship with [Y.N].

"Oh, and I recently won a unicorn plushie for them, and they were really delighted! WE'RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER!"

"Pepino, get the hell out of here."

◇ Just as Donatello had enough of his (non-)twin, he now wanted to dig a hole to hell and throw him in there to finally get some rest.

◇ Anyway, the accidental confession happened one night when neither he nor [Y.N] could sleep.

◇ They were sending each other various memes through Discord in bulk. This boosted his confidence even more, leading to him typing 'I love you.'

◇ Of course, he hadn't sent it yet; his mind was suddenly filled with not-so-good thoughts. What if they don't feel the same? What if they laugh at him?? Or something worse?!

◇ Despite his persona, the boy was full of insecurities, from his looks to his personality, but with them... he felt good about himself.

◇ But would such a confession be too simple? The boy decided to wait at least one day before confessing his love.

◇ But fate said 'nuh-uh,' and his phone fell on Leo's face, causing panic. Due to his carelessness, he held the device wrong, resulting in the accidental sending of the ill-fated message.

"No, no, no, NO!" His voice trembled as he tried to delete the message immediately. Unfortunately, the app froze to his disadvantage. "Damn it!"

◇ When he managed to reopen the app, there was a new message.

◇ "... You are not joking, right?"

◇ This night would last even longer than a turtle had anticipated.

Raphael

◇ I think it happened during the attack on their home by Shredder. Absolute chaos, a storm of emotions, the perfect situation for an imperfect love confession.

◇ "Raph, have you lost your mind?!" [Y.N] began, full of outrage. "Why didn't you let me stay? Splinter and Draxum need help!"

The turtle furrowed his brow bones, looking down at the shorter person with regret. "It was the only way, I'm sure they'll handle it."

"And what if they don't? What if they needed our help right now?"

◇ No matter how advanced [Y.N]'s combat skills were, Raphael was even more opposed to the idea.

◇ "Nothing will happen to them!" Raphael raised his voice, as if trying to convince not only the teenager but himself. "And stop arguing with me; I'm the leader here, and I make the decisions!"

"Damn it, I don't understand you! I could handle it, and you would have more time to plan; I'm not needed here!!"

◇ Just a reminder, everyone present was watching this argument.

◇ "Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"You are! I don't want to lose you like Gram Gram; I love you too much!" His angry red face suddenly turned shocked. Oh, oh. Did he really just say that??

◇ His dark eyes met the teenage counterpart's. Their whole face was red, and their determination to sacrifice themself slowly faded from their eyes.

"... Fine," [Y.N] muttered and sat down in the seat next to Michelangelo.

◇ When all this chaos is over, they'll have to talk, this time more calmly.

Donatello

◇ Donnie has a need to be as organized as possible, so before suggesting anything, he has to plan everything out and make sure that any confession of feelings will go perfectly.

◇ Of course, he had a large folder with potential scenarios that could happen before and after the confession. It had a bit of a vibe from his previous reincarnation, but much less scary and obsessive - he simply felt strong discomfort without preparation.

◇ Leo likes to tease him about it, by the way.

◇ Anyway, there was one situation the boy didn't anticipate. One night, he had been working on another invention all night, aimed at stealing another battery from the Purple Dragons, and in the morning, he fell asleep at his desk, or rather, he was half-unconscious.

◇ "Dee, come to bed." Raphael's voice echoed through the lab, gently shaking the sleepy Soft-shell's naked shoulder. In response, he got some sluggish syllables and a hiss. "You can't sit here like this; it's not healthy." "And sitting here all night is unhealthy enough," he added quietly.

"Get lost..." That's all the turtle understood. Raph rolled his eyes and moved away from his brother a bit.

"I'm not going to struggle; I'm sleep-deprived myself," the red-loving enthusiast said, picking up his phone.

◇ And so [Y.N] appeared in the lair, as the ultimate weapon.

◇ "Donnie! Get up! Lie down in bed!" The teenager themself was not well-rested, considering the early hour, but they tried not to sound irritated. Donnie mumbled something again and straightened up in his chair.

"Raphaello, leave me alone," Donnie started, putting his hands on the keyboard. Apparently, he had no intention of opening his eyes. "I still need to make a few changes to the code..."

"Wait, do you think I'm Raph??" [Y.N] asked in surprise, pointing at themself. Did their voice really sound so manly and deep?? Since when??

"And you're talking in the third person again; I've told you that it's no longer fashionable." Donnie tried not to hit his head against the desk even a little, wanting to at least be somewhat awake. The human wanted to say something, correct him, but gave up with a certain idea in their mind.

◇ they had noticed strange aspects of their friend's behavior lately. He was more open to their, often grabbing their hand or hugging their despite his usual aversion to it, he made various devices for their that made quite an impression on their... there had to be something to it!

◇ "Hey, buddy," the human leaned lazily against the desk, trying their best to mimic the speech style of the oldest of the brothers. "Do you, you know, have something going on with our best, most wonderful human friend??"

"You mean April?" Ouch, that hurt, even though [Y.N] felt the same way. "She's our almost-sister, Raph, yuck."

◇ "Oh, no! [Y.N], I meant [Y.N]!" The teenager corrected themself, slightly annoyed. It was weird.

"What about them? I already told you." No! Not like that!

"Ahahah, you know I have a bad memory when I'm not stressed!"

"Mh..." Pause. Did they say something wrong? Donatello is overly smart; he should figure out what's wrong! How will they explain this? "Everything's fine; my plan will be initiated in half a year at the latest." Plan? What plan??

"Plan...?"

"Rendezvous plan, duh," Donnie replied, resting his head on his hand. "I know you advised against it, but I can't do it differently. I need everything to be tip-top before I confess my feelings to them."

◇ "..."

◇ "..."

◇ "Raph...?"

◇ [Y.N] remained silent, trying to control their sudden heartbeat and their face turning as red as a strawberry.

Michelangelo

◇ Playing the role of Dr. Delicate Touch, the boy knew perfectly well what he felt and wanted to confess his love, but the natural fear of rejection also got to him.

◇ He wanted to think this all through. He wanted to do it as smoothly and charmingly as possible, but not in a way that made it seem like he didn't care. He didn't want to throw such important words to the wind!

◇ His artist's soul played a significant role here. Every time he felt great, he had to sketch something related to love.

◇ Just woke up from a fantastic dream? He had to quickly grab his sketchbook and sketch [Y.N] in a floral wreath.

◇ He was on patrol and saw their favorite cafe? He started sketching the teenager drinking coffee in the nearby sand with his finger, taking a picture of it as a keepsake.

◇ Spending quality time with [Y.N]? He convinced them to start painting each other with his favorite markers, and under the pretext of light fun, he drew orange hearts on their cheeks.

◇ It was all fun until there was an 'accident' during one of the previously mentioned activities.

◇ So, Mikey and [Y.N] were in his new room after Shredder's attack, and he needed help with some unique decoration.

◇ "Wait, isn't that a neon banner from the nearby store??" The teenager asked, pointing at the mentioned thing, peeking out from behind the boy.

"I neither confirm nor deny it!" Mikey laughed, shrugging his shoulders. "You have to admit it fits perfectly."

"Mhm, but I doubt you'll fall asleep with this," [Y.N] said skeptically, picking up one of the cardboard boxes that contained a surplus of notebook-like items. "Where does this go?"

"Oh! Just put it next to the cabinet; I'll put them in the drawers in a sec."

The human nodded, and as they took a few more steps, they tripped over the cables lying on the floor. they fell to the ground with a squeak, dropping the box less than half a meter in front of them.

"Are you okay??" The orange-loving enthusiast quickly ran to his friend, helping them get up as they groaned in pain.

"Yeah, I think so..." Their voice trailed off, surprising Mikey, who followed their gaze.

◇ His pupils immediately narrowed upon seeing an open sketchbook with many drawings and sketches of [Y.N], with a predominant theme of love.

"Mikey...?"

"IT'S NOTHING!" The teenager shouted, hastily picking up the sketchbook from the floor and pressing it against his plastron.

◇ Their faces both turned equally red with excessive thinking.

◇ Oops.

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rottmnt x y/n #rottmnt x you #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise donnie x reader #rise leo x reader #rise mikey x reader #rise raph x reader #rottmnt x reader #Headcanons #x reader

[yougotthat-write]

Tinder (Rafael Barba x Reader)

Word Count: 2,400

Warnings: Female reader, fluff, Rollisi shenanigans, cringey and inappropriate pick-up lines, potential PTSD for former/current users of dating apps and all the awkwardness that ensues from it :)

Summary: Amanda and Sonny try to find the perfect match for their uptight (and while he would never admit it - lonely) A.D.A.

Read on AO3 here!

It had started off as a joke, really.

Rafael Barba would never sign up onto a dating app if it wasn’t against his will. When he heard the snickering of Amanda and Sonny when he stopped by the 16th precinct, his feet couldn’t help themselves but bring him over to the two detectives.

Amanda bit her cheek to settle herself as the ADA’s polished shoes made their way over. Sonny’s ears turned pink at the tips, which gave Rafael the tell-tale sign that Sonny and Amanda were up to no good.

Hands in his pockets, Rafael quipped, ���What?”

Amanda and Sonny exchanged glances. The silence between the two was not a normal thing but when Rafael asked a second time - more aggressive - Sonny held out a cell phone to the lawyer. Rafael’s brows went up in question but when Sonny motioned him to take it, Rafael grabbed it. Looking down at the device, the screen lit up and a plethora of information singed itself into his brain.

Rafael Barba, 37

Manhattan, NY

Assistant District Attorney

Oh baby, I’ll give you so much due process, standing will be the only issue.

Rafael’s eyes widened at the dumb pick-up line. His thumb swiped through the photos. One was of an appearance on the news - dressed up in a suit on the steps of the courthouse with a furrowed brow and serious look on his face. One was him at Forlini’s - scowling over the rim of his bourbon while sitting at the bar next to a grinning Sonny. He remembered when Amanda took this picture. It was the day he told Sonny he could be his second chair. Another picture showed him actually smiling - dressed in a Tom Ford tuxedo, champagne flute in one hand while the other was resting on the waist of his date for that night. She was an oil company lobbyist that he hooked up with sometimes when she wasn’t in D.C.

“What is this?” Rafael’s eyes hardened as he looked up at the two detectives. Sonny flinched at Rafael’s tone. Amanda simply blinked at Rafael. She wasn’t one to deal with attitude willingly but given how uptight Rafael could be sometimes, she was letting it slide. Rafael’s eyes went back down to the dating profile and he felt an annoyance bubble within him. “What the hell is this?”

“Calm down,” Amanda said as she grabbed the phone back with a roll of her eyes. “It’s just a dating profile.”

“Of me!” Rafael looked at Amanda like she was speaking some foreign, alien language. “Why does it exist?”

Sonny’s face seemed to become more pink. A hand went to the back of his neck, rubbing it as his mentor for all intents and purposes became more annoyed. “We just thought it would be fun-”

“You thought it would be fun impersonating a Manhattan A.D.A.!” Rafael’s voice was raised. A few passing officers gave some glances to the group. Amanda waved a dismissive hand to one of them, letting them know that Rafael wasn’t someone to worry about when angry. “You’re lucky I don’t have you arrested.”

Amanda snorted, “We were going to tell you about it when we got you a date.”

“Yeah,” Sonny added, “we just thought you were stressed lately and needed someone to... ya know.”

If looks could kill, Rafael Barba would have murdered two very well-liked and very hard working detectives right then and there in a New York police precinct. He would have to tell Olivia that she would be short staffed for god knows how long.

Rafael’s fingers came up to pinch the bridge of his nose, taking a hard breath before looking back at the detectives. “You think I need your help getting laid?”

Sonny’s mouth gaped like a goldfish, trying to find words but nothing seemed to make itself at home in his pretty little head. He looked over at Amanda with wide eyes, hoping for her to smooth over the situation. Amanda simply shrugged her shoulders, “It’s not that we think you can’t get laid, Counselor,” she paused, eyes almost sympathetic and it made Rafael’s nostrils flare, “you just haven’t had… anyone around… long-term, you know?”

“I’m struggling to find where this is any of your concern,” Rafael pointed a finger at the two of them, “or why you would think I would find it on a dating app.” Rafael’s mind was flooding with things to make the lives of these two detectives a living hell. Maybe if he pulled some strings with Olivia, she’d put them on desk duty for a few weeks. “I want it deleted - get rid of it!”

Amanda held the device out of the prosecutor’s reach, giving him a few nods of understanding but she needed to tell him of one important thing, “But before we do that, you should know that there’s someone who matched with you-” Sonny nodded enthusiastically, “and she messaged you - us? - back.”

“It’s why we were laughing,” Sonny’s smile faltered when met with the fiery gaze of Rafael. He cleared his throat before continuing, “we found the dumb pick-up line on the internet and she shot back with one of her own.”

Rafael’s fire was lessened with the mention of a match. And she happened to message him? Amanda stepped closer to Rafael, finger mindlessly swiping from one screen and to another. There Rafael had seen the actual large amount of messages he was getting. “Seems like more than one match.” He muttered under his breath. And while this whole ordeal wasn’t something he necessarily wanted, the temporary boost of his ego made his shoulders straighten and his tongue dart over his lower lip.

“You’re very popular, Counselor,” Amanda’s brows wagged.

“But we like her the most,” Sonny said, “she seems fun!”

Rafael’s eyes rolled, before they settled on Amanda’s phone.

Are you the Court of Appeals because I’m tryna get overturned.

After he read the message, he couldn’t help the snicker. Back in his Harvard days, Rafael had heard just about every dumb pick-up line you could think of that was in the realm of lawyers. He may have even used a few of them but could you blame the guy. Rafael watched Amanda switch over to your profile.

Rafael swallowed. And then he grabbed the phone out of Amanda's hands. She let out a protest but Rafael had taken a few steps away and studied your profile like it was a law book and he had a final the next day.

It stated your name and your age. Then the same location as Rafael - Manhattan, NY. Your job was stated simply as a lawyer. Huh. That certainly piqued Rafael’s interest. In your bio, you had:

What better alibi could you have than spending the night with me?

He swiped through your photos. One was of you at the Central Park Zoo, scowling at a monkey who was seemingly doing the same thing back at you. Another was of you at a bar or a club - one arm thrown over the shoulder of another woman and a fruity drink held in your free hand. Your attention was focused on your drink rather than your friend or the person taking the picture. The last photo was of you at a brunch of some kind. You held up a mimosa with a wide smile and a large sun hat atop your head.

“Did you say anything back?” Rafael asked. Amanda shook her head with a smirk. You were certainly attractive and if you had taken the time to message Rafael on the cursed app then you must have thought that he was attractive too. He went back to the message you sent and swallowed again. “W-what should I say?”

Amanda’s smirk didn’t falter as she stepped over to Rafael, plucking the phone out of his frozen hands. Rafael heard the speedy tapping of the blonde woman’s fingers, tapping out a message quickly. Sonny stepped over, peeking down over Amanda’s shoulder. Rafael watched Sonny’s face as it went from curiosity to what Amanda was writing and to a lopsided smile, essentially giving his approval of the message.

Rafael didn’t like the idea of Sonny approving anything of his - especially if it came to how he got a date but he patiently waited until a swoosh noise came from the phone. Rafael stepped over to see what she had written but Amanda’s fingers were quick with logging out of the app and swiftly deleting it off her phone.

“Hey-” Rafael couldn’t stop the protest from his lips, brows furrowed. Amanda ignored him, grabbing a sticky note and a pen. She scrawled the login information for the account and slapped it onto his chest.

“I don’t want it on my phone if that conversation starts to get dirty,” Amanda said. Sonny chuckled.

“I think it started out pretty fiery.”

Rafael held the sticky note in his fingers. He could feel his phone in his suit pocket. It felt hot and electric against him, even through all the layers of clothes he wore. “Nevertheless, I’m deleting the account,” he looked over the two detectives with a hard gaze, “and you are to never to do this again. Or else I will be put in jail for voluntary manslaughter.” Amanda swiftly ignored Rafael’s threat whereas Sonny seemed to take it more seriously. The lanky man gave a nod before settling himself at his desk.

Rafael stepped away from the detectives’ desks and dug his phone out from his pocket. His fingers twitched and he felt this wave of embarrassment wash over him as he searched the app’s name and watched it download onto his phone. It seemed to take hours for the dumb thing to fully be situated onto his device. He tapped it, used the sticky note information to log in and was greeted with new profiles to swipe across. He ignored them and went to his messages to see what the pesky blonde detective had said. He hoped it wasn’t something too inappropriate. The last thing Rafael needed was headlines of him sexually harassing women over social media.

He hesitated for a second before tapping on the messages with you. He took a deep breath. He felt nervous. Was it because of the potential can of worms that Amanda could have unleashed? Was it because he found you attractive? Was it because the two detectives were right and it had been a while since he’s had anyone around? While Rafael was capable of finding a temporary suitor to share his bed, he couldn’t find anyone to become something more permanent.

His eyes searched the screen, brain trying to quickly decipher the jumble of letters on his screen. “Ay Dios mío,” Rafael muttered under his breath and the grip on his phone tightened. Rafael thought he read the message a dozen times, just over and over again, trying to really see if Amanda truly did send this to you. He tapped various spaces on his phone, trying to see if there was an undo button but to no avail, the message taunted him.

Something something dictum. Sleep with me.

Rafael was caught off guard by Olivia who called his name from her office door. Rafael cleared his throat, slid his phone back into his pocket with one hand and slid the other down his chest, smoothing out any wrinkles in his shirt. Rafael finally remembered why he was there at the precinct. He needed to do his job and watch a line-up be conducted. Olivia had sounded very confident over the phone, so he figured he had a simple day.

He had spent the rest of his day watching various victims come forward to pick out their attacker confidently. When the defense lawyer monotonously asked to speak with his client after the lineups were done, Rafael felt his phone buzz. For a brief moment, Rafael had forgotten the dating app debacle. He wondered if it was Carmen, telling him of more paperwork and messages that needed to be signed and answered.

But no, it wasn’t Carmen.

It was a notification from the stupid app.

You have a new message!

Rafael bit down on his bottom lip, finger hovering over the notification. He took a breath and tapped his phone. God, what is wrong with me? Grow some cojones, Barba. Rafael watched the screen load and then plaster your message into his line of vision.

Ah, this definitely is a catfish account because there’s no way an ADA would use a line like that.

Rafael smirked. Took a moment to think and then started to type.

The DA has very low standards these days.

You messaged back quickly.

If they’re hiring based on looks, then I’d say they have very high standards, Counselor.

Rafael’s hand lifted to scratch at his jaw, a smile breaking across his face. His eyes widened at another message from you.

Does the prosecution want to rest at my place later tonight?

The forwardness from you made Rafael’s smile turn into a smirk. If Olivia or Sonny had seen him, they would even consider to call it a cocky smirk.

Would you want to meet for drinks first or just take this back to chambers?

I suppose I could side-bar for some drinks.

Great!

He paused before sending another message.

Let’s just agree to not use any more lawyer puns.

Objection!

After setting up a time to meet up at a swanky bar later that night, Rafael entered the bullpen again but with an air of confidence about him. Amanda noticed the shift in energy within the counselor. The corner of her mouth ticked up, fingers fiddling with a pen as she leaned back in her chair, side-eyeing Rafael. “Line-up went well?”

Rafael picked a piece of nonexistent lint off his suit jacket. “It went great, Rollins.” She hummed quietly, eyes studying every inch of his face with amusement.

“We’re heading to Forlini’s tonight,” Amanda stated, “would you like to come?” At the mention of Forlini’s, Sonny peeked over at the two of them from his laptop.

Rafael gave one curt shake of his head. “I’m afraid I’m busy tonight.” And with that, Rafael had turned and exited the bullpen and towards the elevator. Even though he hated it in theory of what Amanda and Sonny did, Rafael couldn’t deny that he didn’t not like the outcome of it.

#rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fic #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba fluff #rafael barba #raul esparza #raúl esparza #law and order fanfiction #law and order #law and order svu #svu #svu fic #rollisi #amanda rollins #sonny carisi #esparz-uh

[blessedfatui]

she’s done all that she could, so why is she misunderstood?

ALONE (LILA ROSSI)

✐ AUTHOR’S NOTES: time to speed run more death threats and harassment from the miraculous fandom again 🤪✌🏾lila character study because i relate to her so much and she’s such a cool character

WORD COUNT: 2k+

TW: neglect, some marinette salt, miraculous spoilers, implied abuse, mentions of death; any negative comments will be deleted and you will be blocked.

be sure to support me on ao3

Loneliness isn't a new feeling to Lila, but it certainly isn't a pleasant one. The house was quiet—too quiet as she scrolled the web, wondering if her old classmates remembered her. If they bothered to reach out to her and wonder who she was doing these past few years.

She almost laughed; no one would remember her. Lila was a distant memory to the old students in Italy. None of them had even bothered to call her when she left for France.

Instead, they lied, saying that they would miss her. They spoke such pretty words that filled the brunette with hope.

Hope that overflowed and filled her veins with euphoria. Every night, Lila would wait with her phone in hand, excited for one of her so-called friends to call. If they didn't call that night, the brunette would brush it aside and hope they would call the next day. The cycle continued for months, and Lila remained hopeful. Waiting and praying that any one of her old classmates would call as promised.

What a fool she was, thinking anyone would care. Lila's mother didn't care to keep her promises. Her father didn't care to remain in her life—no, he fled like a coward instead of being a responsible parent.

Why would anyone give a damn about poor Lila Rossi, anyway? She was a boring girl. So why would anyone waste their time on her?

She wouldn't waste any more tears on those lying bastards. No use crying over spilled milk, and nothing was going to change the past. It would be funny if she could wave a magic wand, turn back the hands of time, and convince her mom to stay in Italy. But, a girl can dream, can she not?

All she wanted was a friend. Someone who would always be there for her—someone Lila could confess her deepest, darkest secrets. Someone that would laugh at her stupid jokes as they Skyped.

A friend that she could call no matter where she was. Someone who would never give up on her.

Someone would care for her, unlike her neglectful mother.

To feel someone hug her and rub her back whenever she was upset. A shoulder to cry on—a confidante.

Lila hated the empty void that ate her heart and stomach. She wanted someone to fill the growing gap. But would it be too much to ask for a true friend?

Apparently, the universe thought so.

It gave her the middle finger, laughing in Lila's face and watching her suffer. The universe lived off her pain, taking away everything and everyone she ever held dear. Nothing precious would last long with Lila.

It died and withered away like a rose in the winter. Friendships died like her love for her father and mother. It died and still sank its fangs in her chest.

So, Lila knows what it's like to be alone, and she hates it.

Lila didn't even last a week in school.

So, she may have lied to boost her social standing. She was grasping at straws, and Lila couldn't help it. The words flowed from her lips like rich honey, and almost everyone ate them up without a second thought.

No, she didn't know any directors in Hollywood, and no, Jagged Stone never wrote a song about her. She didn't know any manga artists or DJs—Ladybug never saved her life. Lila was a boring girl with a boring life.

They were all lies to make herself look good, especially in front of Adrien.

But Ladybug had to ruin that. She called Lila a super-liar and embarrassed her in front of Adrien, ruining her chances of being with him. Maybe Lila did deserve to be called out for lying, but the insults weren't needed. Ladybug didn't know what it was like to be alone; all of Paris loved her, even Adrien.

Lila just wanted a crumb of what Ladybug had—of what Marinette had.

After the Volpina/Ladybug fiasco, Lila cooped herself up in her room for months, not daring to leave. She didn't want to go back to school and run into Adrien again and have to explain herself. She knew he would ask questions, ask why he lied to her about knowing Ladybug and being a superhero.

She told her mom that the school was closed because the amount of akumas Hawkmoth was sending out daily. Her mother believed her—or wasn't listening as usual. So her mother whispered another lie in her ear, promising to be back before dinner, and they would hang out this weekend.

Lila smiled, saying goodbye to her mother. She knew her mother wouldn't back before dinner, and she knew that her mother would have other plans. Oh, like hanging out with her co-workers on the weekends or deciding to work overtime at the embassy.

Anything besides taking care of her fucking daughter.

How the universe cursed her, mocking her very existence. It wasn't fair; Lila just wanted someone to love her. Her mother—her flesh and blood—couldn't take the time to act like a parent and would rather stay at the office, avoiding Lila and her duties.

She filled Lila with hope—burning, shining, radiant hope only to knock her flat on her ass. She whispered cruel lies into Lila's ear, expecting the brunette to stuck it up, and pretend she was okay. To pretend that she was the luckiest damn girl in the girl.

Yes, how fortunate was Lila to have no one who cares about her?

How blessed was she to have an absent father and deceitful mother who neglected her? A mother who did the bare minimum for her child?

Truly, Lila was lucky to be alone, forced to make up stories so her life seemed entertaining so people would like her and want to be her friend.

Forced to lie and never be her true self.

Forced to wear a mask and dance in time to the music to blend in with the crowd.

Forced to be anyone but her true self.

She didn't want to go back to school. Lila was sure everyone would have forgotten about her like always. No one texted her or called her to see if she was okay. And why would they? She wasn't anything special—just another pretty face to admire for a moment and forget the next.

The festive music blaring outside caught her sudden attention, and Lila strolled to the window. She frowned, watching the giant Ladybug balloon pass by her window along with the Queen Bee, Carapace, Rena Rouge, and Chat Noir balloons. The people in the streets screamed the heroes' names, praising them and celebrating their existence.

Thanking them for protecting them from Hawkmoth's terrorism.

Lila could feel the anger rise up, spreading across her skin as she closed the blinds. She didn't want to see that stupid bug again—Ladybug had no right embarrassing her like that in front of Adrien. Lila despised that pesky girl in red, but yet, she envied her.

Ladybug would always be remembered. No one would ever forget her. Even her worst enemies would recall her face and remember how they were defeated by Ladybug.

Getting on the computer was no better. Lila was greeted with thousands of channels praising Ladybug, thanking her and her team for their services. Gabriel Agreste has the nerve to call her—Volpina—a fake hero, an imposter.

Lila hurled her laptop at the wall in a fit of rage, and the tears rushed down her burning cheeks. Hatred and fury flowed through her veins like molten lava. She was so caught up in her fit, Lila didn't notice the butterfly until it was too late.

There he was again, offering her power. Saying he was going to give her a second chance to bring her illusions to life. Hawkmoth had a way with words, soothing and intoxicating as he promised her power and so much more.

But that mattered little to Lila.

The villain remembered Lila. Such a thought shouldn't have filled her heart with overwhelming, warm joy, but it did. Lila was filled with a strange happiness that flowed throughout her veins, a happiness that could illuminate a thousand worlds.

Someone remembered her.

Lila was so happy, she accepted Hawkmoth's deal without a second thought. She didn't care about the consequences. She gladly let the blackish-purple smog consume her and dress her in the orange spandex. The familiar power flowed through her veins, and Lila leaped out the window with a smile.

Maybe Lila wasn't alone after all. Sure, she had a terrorist who could remember her name, and didn't that count for something? Wasn't that good enough?

To Lila's surprise, her classmates welcomed her back with warm arms and friendly kisses. Her heart throbbed, but deep down, Lila knew they only remembered her because she lied. She lied to boost her social standing and so she wouldn't be a distant memory in their thoughts.

Maybe the class knew she was lying and decided not to say anything about her lies, or they were incredibly gullible. Either way, no one brought it up, and Lila would bask in the attention for the moment. It would fill the hole in her chest—the cold, growing gap would be filled for a fleeting moment.

Again, the lies flowed out her mouth like smooth honey, securing a seat next to Adrien while Marinette was forced to sit in the back. Lila didn't feel too guilty, but she did feel bad for separating two friends. Not too bad, as she flirted with Adrien. She kept redirecting the conversation whenever he brought up the interaction with Ladybug.

Lila did not want to think about her right now. That was the last thing she wanted to focus on.

She wanted to stay close to Adrien; Lila didn't want to lose her relationship with him. Maybe she could convince him that Ladybug was in the wrong? Perhaps she could steer him away from the girl in red. It was worth a shot, but Lila remembered the look on his face when they met in the library. He was smitten; Lila didn't stand a chance as of now.

It didn't matter now. Lila got what she wanted, and that was a seat next to Adrien and happiness when her classmates remembered her name and greeted her with hugs. Treating her like she belonged even if she did lie (not that anyone knew that she lied beside Adrien).

Maybe the class would grow to love Lila. Maybe there was hope for her after all. Maybe, she would be able to make friends and be her true self.

She noticed the burning glares from Marinette and her aggressive nature. Lila didn't know what she did wrong; she had never even interacted with this girl until today. More or else, Lila was curious about Marinette. The baker didn't fall over her words and questioned everything she had to say. Hell, even when Lila video-called her class, saying she was visiting Prince Ali in Achu to organize a unique project, Marinette tried calling her out.

Luckily, Lila hid her tracks, but it still baffled her. Marinette had no evidence that Lila was lying, yet she kept trying to expose her. Trying to destroy the very facade the brunette had built, threatening to reveal her true colors—to reveal her ugly nature.

Panic settled in Lila's chest. She couldn't lose to Marinette—one simple girl who practically had everyone in the class, besides Chloe and Sabrina, groveling at her feet. The lies weren't hurting Marinette in any way, so why did she care? Why was Marinette sticking her nose in places it didn't belong?

What kind of self-righteous brat did she think she was?

Instead, Lila forced Marinette against the wall, threatening to steal her friends away if she got in her way. Her words were cold and rolled off her tongue smoothly, enjoying the fear in Marinette''s eyes. It was just a warning—Lila couldn't have this pesky girl ruining everything she crafted.

She finally had friends and people who acknowledged her presence. Lila could enjoy warm hugs and friendly kisses, feeling the warmth spread across her chest and throughout her entire body. She didn't want to lose that incredible feeling; she couldn't.

Lila was not going to be alone again. If she had to rip Marinette apart to keep her facade intact, so be it. A small price to pay to ensure her own happiness.

She thought Marinette would be her only problem until Adrien told her to stop lying, and he would be more than happy to be her friend. Lila frowned, folding her arms across her chest. Adrien didn't understand—it's not like she wanted to lie; the words just poured out of her like smooth, rich syrup, dripping off her tongue.

He wouldn't understand the loneliness she felt. Adrien was a supermodel, and what was Lila? At the bottom of the barrel—scum in a pool of piranhas. Adrien would have to understand that Lila didn't mean to lie; she just couldn't control it, and she hated being alone. No matter what she did, Lila always ended up friendless whenever they moved. She just wanted one friend, one person to care about her and say that they'll be there for her.

Was that too much to ask for? Couldn't Adrien see that Lila was alone and didn't mean to lie? Couldn't he see the hurt that pooled in her olive-green eyes?

She stormed up the stairs, grumbling about how pesky the heroes are and how Ladybug ruined everything. Fury raged through her veins like a storm, rocking crashing inside of her, threatening to bubble over. They didn't understand her pain—they were loved and praised, and everyone would remember their names for years to come.

And what about Lila? She would die, and no one would remember that she existed. What a bleak future she led, and it terrified her. Knowing that one day, she would die and no one would know who she was. It was a sad realization that dawned on her.

Trudging down the halls, Lila noticed the black butterfly fluttering in the wind. There Hawkmoth was again; perhaps, he sensed he distressed and wanted to offer his aid once again. Offering Lila that sweet, delicious power that would fill the empty void in her heart.

She smiled, chasing the butterfly, and let it seep into her earring. The buzzing static filled her ears before she heard Hawkmoth's smooth and inviting voice. Lila offered her help, telling Hawkmoth that they had more in common than she initially thought.

He called her Chameleon. What a suiting name for a liar such as herself. Able to blend in with her surroundings to survive. Nature's biggest liar, Lila, found the title ironic, but it suited her.

Letting the black smog consume her, Lila let out a laugh, shivering with the power flowing through her veins. Finally, she wouldn't be alone anymore.

Getting alone time with Adrien was easier than Lila thought. She was good at math, but she wanted to clear the air between the two. She couldn't have Adrien believing that Ladybug was right about her being a liar; she just wanted to be closer to Adrien and get to know him. It was supposed to be a harmless, white lie, but Ladybug blew it out of proportion.

Well, Lila wouldn't have to think about the annoying bug right now. She got to go inside the Agreste manor and see Adrien's home. Her heart dropped, lying to Nathalie to get inside, and she realized how lonely Adrien was.

His house was not home. It was a prison, and his father was his jailer, Gorilla the security, and Nathalie was the warden. Maybe Adrien did understand the same pain; Lila noticed the hurt flash on his face as they trudged to his room, Lila trailing after him.

Lila squeezed his hand, still wearing her facade, as Adrien tried helping her with their homework. Now, she didn't care about the work but wanted to know more about her crush. Why did he hide his feelings? Why did he lie? She could tell that Adrien was hurting just like she was.

They were one and the same, two sides of the same coin separated by a razor-thin line like hope and despair. If Adrien was her hope, then Lila was his despair. They needed each other to survive; Lila needed to balance out his despair so his hope can shine.

Maybe, she wasn't so useless. Perhaps, Father Time had a reason for her to move to Paris. Maybe, it was so she could meet other, poor unfortunate souls such as herself so they could learn how to cope with their pain.

And suddenly, Lila didn't feel so alone anymore.

#lila rossi #liladrien #lila x adrien #marinette salt #slight lila salt #lila salt #miraculous les aventures de ladybug et chat noir #miraculous ladybug fanfic #adrien x marinette #✎ LILA ROSSI ೃ༄ #✎ ADRIEN AGRESTE ೃ༄

[wrenhyperfixates]

Perfect

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: After much research and seeking out advice from Tony, Loki asks you on a date. Warnings: dialogue heavy and an adorably awkward Loki A/N: Thank you for requesting @akhansen2800! I hope you enjoy :) 

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

The common room was a mess, thanks to the trickster god. There was paper and books littered all over the floor. Not to mention bits and pieces from the computer he may or may not have smashed against the ground. It really was hardly his fault, though; it was the insipid machine that dared defy him.

“Woah, Reindeer Games,” Tony said, walking in, sidestepping the junk on the ground. “Did a tornado hit or something?”

“Oh, very funny, Stark. If you ask me, it is an improvement over this drab decor you have picked,” Loki quipped, eyes never leaving the page he was reading.

“No, how could you! My heart, it can’t take this,” Tony overdramatically gasped, flopping on top of the papers strewn on the couch. “Goodbye, cruel world.”

“Your theatrics never cease to amaze me,” Loki sighed, finally looking up at the man he’d come to call friend. “And that says a lot, coming from me.”

“You’re right, it’s high praise.” Tony picked up one of the papers he’d crinkled from laying on top of. “What is all this, anyway?”

Just because Loki considered Tony a friend, didn’t mean he necessarily wanted to say what he was doing. He was still a rather closed off person and, in all honesty, preferred to avoid any and all talks about his emotions. Which, of course, brings him right back to why he’s sitting in the middle of this mess, anyway. His emotions, which, despite his best efforts, he did still have.

Loki stood up and stretched his muscles, achy from being hunched over his reading material for so long.  He snatched away the page Tony was perusing, only for him to grab another one to skim. Realizing any effort to keep confiscating the papers one at a time would be fruitless, Loki moved it all to his room with a snap of his fingers. Then he sat next to his companion and began wringing his hands in that awful nervous tic of his. Truth be told, he could use some advice, but that only brought him back to square one of having to talk about his feelings. Tony leaned back on the couch while patiently awaiting Loki’s answer.

“I was doing some research,” Loki finally admitted. “On some Midgardian things.”

“That’s cute, Reindeer, but you could just ask me. Or maybe Peter if it's a pop culture thing.”

“It is not.” Loki wondered how much he could beat around the bush before he either had to give up on the conversation or genuinely say what was wrong. “It is just something I am not entirely sure how to go about.”

“I’m great at giving advice.”

“No, you are not,” Loki rolled his eyes.

“Sure I am!” Tony exclaimed, feigning hurt. “How would you know, anyway? You’ve never actually asked me for any.”

“Maybe not, but I have seen the way you live your own life, Stark.”

“That’s entirely different,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Come on, give me a chance. Fire away, I’m ready.”

Loki merely rolled his eyes again, though he was actually considering it. He hated to admit it—he really hated to admit it—but Tony had become somewhat of a father figure to him. That was absolutely ridiculous, of course, considering how Loki was a thousand years older than the man. But after his childhood, he’d be silly to reject that kind of relationship. Loki supposed that if he had to go to anyone with this problem, Tony wasn’t a terrible option. Besides, he should probably let himself be emotionally vulnerable very once in a while, right? That was supposed to be good or something, he thought. So, he steeled himself, and told Tony his issue.

“There is this Midgardian that I know. They are very sweet and kind and perfect... I mean, they are as bearable as a Midgardian can be,” Loki covered up, blushing slightly from how much he had just revealed. “I would like to ask them to spend some time with me, but I am not sure how.”

“Awww, you have a crush,” Tony cooed. “How sweet. You want to ask them out.”

“No,” Loki protested, stubborn as ever. Tony just raised his eyebrows at him. “Ok, fine! Yes, I would like to take them on a date, but I am dreadfully lacking in knowledge on Midgardian dating etiquette.”

“You’ve come to the right place,” Tony grinned. “Oh and take notes.”

And so, Loki spent the next two and a half hours listening to Tony ramble on. Most of it was just him going on rather useless tangents about his own endeavors in love. The God of Mischief rolled his eyes so many times, he began to fear they might roll out of his head. His notes, at least, were pretty amusing. Ok, to call them notes may be a little generous. They were mainly silly doodles of Tony monologuing, with the few helpful things he said jotted in the margins. He got so invested in one of his little caricatures that he didn’t even notice Tony stopped speaking.

“Hey, that’s not what I look like,” Tony pouted, peering at the drawing.

“Well nothing you were saying was helping, Stark.” Loki put the note pad in one of his dimensional pockets. “I am not like you. I am not a flashy person when it comes to matters of the heart.”

“Oh, so you want to go the be yourself way. You know, the sappy speeches and flowers and chocolates direction.”

Loki perked up a bit. “Yes. Yes, that sounds splendid.”

Tony sighed and gave Loki a list of movies to watch. And told him to speak from the heart. That troubled Loki; no one ever really cared to listen to him speak before. But, he dutifully watched all the assigned movies, supplemented by some of the books he was still combing through.

After a week of preparation and many, many drafts of a speech to say to you, Loki was finally ready to ask you out. Donning his best Midgardian suit, he walked out of his room, greeted by a bright flash of light. Tony was standing there, camera in hand.

“Look, at my little boy,” he fake cried. “All grown up.”

“Stark, will your antics ever stop?” Loki looked at the camera out of the corner of his eye. “And delete that photo, I was not ready.”

“Nope. It’s payback for all those unflattering doodles. Now, go get ‘em, Reindeer. Remember: Just be yourself.”

Easier said than done, Loki thought as he called upon his seiðr, teleporting to your street. You were an employee at Stark Tower; that’s how the two of you met. Loki had been looking for his brother, his search taking him into the cafeteria, one of his least favorite places in the whole building. It was always too loud and populated for someone who liked his silence and solitude. The sheer number of people in the room was overwhelming to the god that day, but he needed to speak with Thor, and he’d searched just about every other place his brother could be. He could not spot him in the crowd, but his eyes landed on you, off near a corner at a table alone and reading a book. He cast one last nervous look around the room before heading towards where you were, his social anxiety kicking in.

“Hello,” he said after clearing his throat.

You looked up at him with a dreamy sort of gleam in your eye that revealed how enchanted you’d been with your book. It gave Loki a little boost of confidence to know that that happened to you, too. That you could get so lost in a story that the world around you disappeared. It calmed his racing heart a little.

“Oh uh, hi,” you greeted with a chipper smile. Then more nervously, added, “It’s Loki, right?”

“Yes, that is correct. Loki of Asgard, pleased to make your acquaintance,” he said, sweeping into a small bow. “And you are?”

You told him his name, extending your hand for a shake. “How can I help you?”

“I am looking for my brother, but I cannot find him. You have not seen him around, have you?”

“I actually did see him earlier, though I’m not sure- Wait!” you suddenly exclaimed, and Loki followed your gaze. “He’s over there.”

Loki gulped. Of course his brother was at the table in the center of the room, surrounded by people. He really needed to talk to him about a mission, but the thought of going over there was making his stomach feel queasy. He tried to take a step forward, but his feet were apparently glued to the floor.

“Hey, if you’re nervous about going over there, I get it. Crowds can be scary,” you said, picking up on his subtle fidgeting. “The room usually clears out significantly in about ten minutes from now. I, um, was going to that little cafe over in the corner and get some tea or coffee, if you want to come.” Loki stared at you for a moment, unused to being invited places, especially by mortals he did not know. You seemed to mistake his silence, though, and rushed to assure him he didn’t have to. “Sorry, that was probably stupid. You’re under no obligation to say yes, of course. I understand.”

“No! I mean, yes.” He sighed and mentally smacked himself. Ever since moving to Midgard, his silver tongue was not what it used to be around strangers. “I mean, no that is not stupid, and yes, I would like to go to that cafe with you.”

And go to that cafe you did, launching into an animated conversation about reading. Loki even made you laugh, which felt like a huge accomplishment to him. The both of you sat back down at your table with your warm drinks, still chatting. There were very few people Loki ever felt so relaxed with, especially so soon after meeting them. You didn’t talk about anything groundbreaking, but he enjoyed talking to a kindred spirit. Somehow you even got a smile tugging at his lips, getting wider by the minute.

True to what you’d said, the room noticeably emptied nearly ten minutes later. With only a few people left and after such an amazing conversation, Loki was sure he could go grab his brother out of the room. But that was the problem; the conversation was too amazing, and he didn’t want it to end. And it seemed you didn’t either.

“Hey, um, maybe this is weird, but do you maybe want to talk again sometime? Like if you ever need a friend or are bored or anything?” you ventured.

“I would love that,” he genuinely replied.

You quickly wrote down your number and, after double and triple checking it, handed it to him. He tucked it safely away in one of his inner pockets before getting up and you bidding you goodbye. Then, in a better mood than he’d been in in a long time, Loki waltzed over to Thor’s table and successfully extracted him from the few people still clinging to his every word. He glanced back at you one last time before exiting, and you gave him a small, somewhat shy wave. He returned it along with a smile.

Loki kept that all in his heart as he walked up to your door, finger hovering by the bell for a minute. Maybe this was silly. No, this was definitely ridiculous. But, if he stood here any longer, your neighbors would probably think he was some crazy person.

Really, he shouldn’t be so nervous. You talked all the time since that day of your first meeting, and you’d never seemed bothered by him before. Not even when he started bringing surprise morning coffees to your desk. Or when he started leaving you books he thought you might like. Or when he started giving you little hugs when you seemed down. In fact, you seemed touched by all that. But this was all so new to him, so different from anything he’d known before. What if he was reading it all wrong? Before he could talk himself out if it, he rang the bell.

He heard you shout that you were coming in response. He quickly adjusted his tie and then stood with the flowers hidden behind his back. He made sure to get a bouquet of your favorites. You opened the door and your mouth made an adorable little “o” of surprise before your lips formed a sweet smile.

“Loki!” you greeted, smoothing down your sweatshirt. “I wasn’t expecting you. Don’t get me wrong, though. It’s great to see you. Um, do you want to come in? The place is kind of a mess right now, but-”

Loki whipped out the flowers from behind him, making you cut out in surprise. He stared at his feet and nervously mumbled, “These are for you.”

“Loki, these are so beautiful. This is so sweet. Thank you.” You gave him one of those shy smiles that he loved so much. “I feel bad, I don’t have anything for you.”

“That is quite alright. I have come here to ask you something.”

“Oh! Ok. I’m all ears.”

Loki smiled at the Midgardian expression, calming him a little. “We have been friends for some time now, and I have thoroughly enjoyed every minute—nay, every second—I have spent with you. You are the most kindhearted being I have ever met, beautiful both inside and out. And thus, I find myself wanting something more than friendship, if you will allow it. My dear, sweet, darling little mortal, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?”

“Oh, Loki,” you breathed. “That was beautiful. I would absolutely love to go on a date with you.”

He cheered on the inside, and you hugged him close. After you pulled away, the two of you stood there for a minute, smiling like dorks. It seemed to Loki that no matter how badly he wanted to say something else, the only thought occupying his brain was that you said yes. He could hardly believe you said yes.

“So, uh, what are we going to do on our date?” you sheepishly asked.

Loki’s face dropped. He couldn’t believe how foolish he was. “I do not know yet. I knew there was something I was forgetting. I am sorry, darling.”

“That’s ok, Loki,” you kindheartedly laughed. “Tell you what, there’s a bookstore with the most adorable little cafe in it, just a couple blocks from here. Why don’t we go there?”

“That sounds perfect,” he replied, his smile returning already. “How does tomorrow sound? I can come pick you up around noon?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

You stared at each for another minute, those same goofy grins that gave away how happy you were plastered on your faces. When Loki began to overthink how awkward he probably looked, he found it in himself to tear his eyes away from your beauty.

“So I shall see you tomorrow then,” he nervously said.

“Yup! See you then,” you replied, your nerves equaling his own.

After a quick hug and waving goodbye to each other, you parted ways. Soon, Loki was back home in the Tower, happily sprawled on the sofa, book in hand.

“Hey Reindeer Games,” Tony greeted. “So, how’d it go? Was I right, or was I right?”

“As much as it pains me to admit it, Stark, you were right.” Loki smiled to himself, already daydreaming about your date. “It was perfect.”

Loki found that after so much anxiety and uncertainness, there was finally one thing he knew; tomorrow was going to be perfect, too.

#request #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki #mcu loki #loki fluff #fluff #mcu fluff #marvel fluff #reader insert #gender netural reader #marvel #mcu #marvel reader insert #marvel fanfiction #loki fanfic #mcu reader insert #loki friggason #loki friggason x reader #loki laufeyson x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki oneshot #marvel oneshot

[talkfastromance4]

something part 3--calum hood

A/N: This is it! The final piece! Thank you for bearing with me while I took you on this rollercoaster of emotions and for being so kind while I took my break. Much love💕

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings: drinking, mentions of smoking weed, dealing with heartbreak, sexual situations

Part one || Part two

***

Five months have gone by and Calum tried to push the idea to publicly date Missy away as best he could. The guys even tried to help, but inevitably he was forced to say yes. Calum’s reading over the itinerary he and Missy have to follow over his morning coffee. He takes a sip remembering when she was brought in to discuss the arrangements. It was the Monday following the best and worst weekend of his life with Y/N.

Calum’s body language is screaming ‘leave me the fuck alone I’m pissed’ as he sits slouched in the chair, arms folded against his chest and his hands in fists. His facial expression mirrors a rock, hard and unforgiving as Missy walks in with her manager and the band’s PR liaison. He watches her with hard eyes take a seat next to him, Calum purposely shifts his chair far away from her. She frowns slightly then smiles politely to the rest.

Calum listens as the team discusses the arrangement. How it will benefit both the band and up the ante on her modeling career.

“To be tied with one of the most desirable bachelors will increase magazines wanting to feature you,” Christina the liaison explains excitedly. Calum can’t help but snort.

“Pair her with Styles’ then, he’s more notorious than I am,” Calum grumbles.

“We couldn’t get in contact,” Missy’s manager says, her voice clipped as she narrows her eyes at Calum. “It will boost record sales for your music—”

“And we want the first single to be the love song, ‘Through the Dark.’”

Ashton, Michael, and Luke’s heads whip to Calum who has become even more outraged. It can’t be that song; he wrote that about Y/N.

“With the new romance rumors and the song, it will be a hit in no time, probably surpassing the charts of Ariana Grande and Styles combined.”

“No, we’re not having that be the single,” Ashton tries to dissuade the agreement that neither member of the band was a part of.

“Why not?”

“Because it wasn’t written about Missy,” Calum says. His voice is as monotonous as his face. From the corner of his eye, he sees Missy look at him with a quizzical look.

“So what? No one will know except the people in this room. The relationship will last about eight months, until the album is officially released, and touring starts. You’ll inevitably break up because Missy will be too busy modeling around the world and you gentleman will also be touring. Everybody wins.”

There’s grumbles amongst the band, Calum’s jaw clicks in anger. He turns his gaze to the window, sees the clouds rolling in as his private life is being scheduled like he’s some sort of robot. He closes his eyes thinking of Y/N, and how she looked in that flower crown and then how she looked with the petals scattered in her hair like she was some type of goddess. Then he sees her with tears in her eyes.

“Calum?”

He opens his eyes and turns at the sound of his name. It’s just him and Missy in the conference room. He’s getting really tired of hearing his name if it’s not from Y/N’s lips. She moves a little closer to him in her chair, an apologetic look on her face.

“Kind of surprised ‘fake dating’ actually happens. I’ve heard rumors and look, they’re true.”

“Imagine that.” He rolls his eyes.

Missy feels the iciness in his tone, and she tries again.

“Look, this is weird for me, too. It was all my manager’s idea which is insulting because if I need a fake boyfriend to get more modeling gigs then her faith in me isn’t all that great. I don’t think of you that way—”

“Your kiss at my party said otherwise.”

“I was drunk, I’ll kiss anyone. And…all right, maybe I did have a crush on but when that girl—”

“Y/N?”

“Right, her. When Y/N showed up and I saw the way you looked at her…I couldn’t compete with that. I don’t want to come between you two.”

“Too late.”

“What happened? Maybe I could talk to her—”

“I don’t really feel like talking about it, Missy, all right? She’s not even talking to me, so I highly doubt she’d talk to you. The woman of my dreams ended things before they even began, and I couldn’t even tell her I love her.”

Missy’s quiet for a moment then offers a kind smile.

“Sounds like you want to talk about it a little….”

He pushes away from the table in a huff then stops with his hand on the doorknob.

“I’ll play this act if it helps you in some weird, twisted way but it means nothing to me. We’ll do all the proper pap shots and appearances but no physical contact whatsoever. Those are my limits.”

He storms out as he hears a quiet ‘okay’ and the guys are waiting for him down the hall. They try to reach out for him, but Calum continues walking.

Calum looks down at his notebook, sketches and doodles of flowers are scattered about the page. Their stems and vines looping through the words that are constantly running through his head. He takes a long drink of his coffee, letting the bitterness warm his insides.

After the meeting with management and Missy, Calum called Y/N. He texted her. He knocked on her door. It wasn’t until Crystal told him to give her space did he really back off. He knows Y/N didn’t mean what she said. That night they shared was something special. From how she was so perfect with his untimely manner to how she took care of him while he had allergies from the flowers he picked. And finally, to the way they connected.

The radio in his car is still broken, but he doesn’t listen to music anymore, he can’t because it reminds him of Y/N. Everything reminds him of her.

It’s not like Missy is a bad person. She’s actually become a good friend to Calum and respected his boundaries he set up for their ‘relationship.’ The only touching that happens is by her with her hand holding onto his arm, and even that is just for pictures. No hand holding, no hugs, no kisses.

She’s gaining the hype her manager wanted and Calum has remained off social media as soon as it started. When he’s not rehearsing with the guys or doing PR with Missy, Calum’s secluded himself to his home and music room all while being viewed like a goldfish in a bowl.

So, he writes. He writes about flowers in hair, flowers pressed between bodies and flowers held together by a chain. He also writes about strawberries. He hasn’t eaten one since he kissed her last.

**

Y/N’s been keeping herself busy, well, as much as she can. Everywhere she goes she’s reminded of Calum. Especially when she opens her closet and sees the small wooden box she placed his bouquet of flowers and flower crown in. She couldn’t find it in herself to throw them away.

That first week after what happened with Calum she spent it crying and listening to sad music. Her heartbreak had her rethink of past moments with Calum. All of the ‘what if’s’ are now ‘will nots.’ Which is way too close to ‘he loves me, he loves me not’ for her liking hidden in the petals of the flowers.

She ignored his calls and texts.

The first time she saw them together was a month after the whole ordeal. She thought she was in a good place and as she was scrolling through Instagram on her lunch break she saw the first picture. Calum and Missy were walking along the pier going in and out of shops. They were wearing sunglasses and Calum didn’t really show much emotion but if he knew paps were around, he never did.

What Y/N zeroed in on was Missy’s hand on Calum’s arm.

Her heart fell into her stomach and she closed the app without even reading the caption. She deleted her Instagram and Twitter apps that day.

When she got home she opened the box of flowers, their scent mixed in with the cedar wood twisted her heart. Very delicately, she lifted the bouquet from the box. Calum’s chain was still wrapped around the now dry, frail stems.

She should throw them out. She almost did. She couldn’t. The dried flowers were the only reminder that what happened between her and Calum was real. That it actually happened. How could she let that go? Even if he was the one that got away and kept getting away?

“You did this Y/N,” she muttered to herself placing the flowers back in the box. “You made him leave before you could get attached.”

The next day there was a knock at her door. Not expecting anyone she peeked through the curtains and saw it was Ashton with a pizza box and a plastic bag.

“Ashton…what are you doing here?” she asks upon opening the door.

“I come bearing gifts of the heartbreak kind,” he grins sheepishly holding up the box and bag.

“Is that a champagne bottle I see in that bag?” she asks seeing the slender neck and gold foiling.

“It is. And caramel ice cream.”

“All right. You can come in,” she allows stepping aside so he can enter.

“So,” he sighs falling heavily against the couch. The pizza box is open on her coffee table, he has a glass of water while Y/N is holding onto the bottle of champagne. His hazel eyes take her in, “how are you?”

“That’s a loaded question,” she scoffs pressing play on the Marvel movie. She decided on Infinity War. “It’s been a month, so you think I’d be okay. I was told that however long you were with someone, that’s how long it takes to get over them divided in half. So, if you’re with someone for a year, you should be over them in six months. Calum and I were…’together’ for a day so it should have been twelve hours, right? But nope.”

She takes a long chug of the champagne until it makes her eyes water from the bubbles. The sweet nectar bites at her tongue and teeth.

“Who told you that math?”

“An old boss of mine,” she shrugs.

“Well, it’s stupid as shit. There’s no time limit for how you fall for someone just as there’s no time limit for you to lose feelings. You have feelings when you have them.”

“We went on one date, Ashton. I shouldn’t be this bent out of shape over that.”

“Hey,” he pinches her shoulder affectionately until she looks at him. His face softens. “You and Calum always had something between you. From an outside perspective, I get why you both danced on that line between friends and something more. You’ve both been hurt and there was always something in the way.”

“Or someone,” her eyes drop at the thought of Missy. Then she thinks of the photo she saw of them and rubs at her eyes, so the tears won’t come.

“My point is,” he stresses grabbing hold of her hand, “you’re allowed to feel hurt and sad and angry.”

“I’m trying so hard to not feel that way all the time, but it…it’s so consuming sometimes.”

“I know. Before you drink the whole bottle, eat some pizza, we’ll watch the movie and we can talk some more, okay?”

About halfway through the movie Y/N’s hugging the ¾ full bottle against her chest as a comfort object. She never drinks her sadness away, she knows how dangerous that is, but it feels nice to have her head not feel so full because all her thoughts are tumbling out to Ashton. His arm is around her shoulders in comfort as she leans into him.

“You always thought there was something between us?” she asks.

“I didn’t think, I knew.”

“What’s the difference?” she stares at him quizzically; the bubbly made his words confusing. Ashton smiled at her response.

“He’d always tell me how he wanted to ask you out. He’d ask if you were coming to any dinner or party we had. But he was scared to ruin your friendship and in my opinion, I think it scared him how close you two got so fast.”

“Hmph,” she slumps against the inside of his arm.

“Your song played while we were driving that night, you know.”

“Yeah? Which one?”

“Drive,” she giggles at the comedy of it all. “He gave me wildflowers with his chain around it and bought me a flower crown.”

“It sounds like a great night.”

“It was! But then he got sleepy cause he was allergic to the flowers, then he passed out on me. But I liked it…” she takes the last sip of her champagne then pouts that it’s empty.

“One is enough for you,” Ashton chuckles placing the bottle next to the pizza box. He settles back next to her and they watch the movie for a moment.

“I saw their picture today,” she says somberly. “I know it’s fake. But they’re both a catch…so it’ll be no surprise that it’ll become real.”

“Y/N—”

“It happens all the time Ash,” she shrugs. “I’m the person before everyone’s happy ending.”

“That’s not true. Look at all you and Calum have been through together. This damn arrangement is a roadblock for sure, but you two are the final drive.”

“That…kind of makes sense. I can’t tell,” she shakes her head.

“It’d make sense a full champagne bottle ago,” he mutters but she hears him.

She nudges him in the ribs playfully until they’re both laughing.

“I’m going to use the bathroom,” she says and moves down the hall.

Ashton checks his phone to see Luke is trying to console Calum, too. It was hard for him to act with Missy today. Luke reports that Calum has had only one drink but is smoking a lot of weed to help clear his head and wants to drive to Y/N’s house.

When Ashton has finished replying to keep an eye on him, Y/N is standing next to the couch. He looks up at her to see she has her arms wrapped around herself, her lower lip caught between her teeth, but he hears the quick gasps of her sobs.

“I really hate this, Ashton.”

“C’mere,” he opens his arms to her and hugs her tightly.

“It’s really hard being lonely.”

She cries into his shirt, finding comfort in his embrace and friendship.

**

Y/N’s found a good friendship with Max from work. Nothing romantic at all, but he makes sure they do a lot of fun things together. It’s been almost five months since that night with Calum and when Y/N comes across a photo of him and Missy together, Max is there to take her to the beach or a movie to distract her mind.

Now when she sees photos of them it doesn’t make her go in her closet to look at the wilted flowers. It’s still a sting in the thorn of her heart but it’s more bearable. The first single off their new album was ‘Through the Dark’ and it made her cry. Max found her laying on the floor of her room with it playing on a loop, the box of flowers unopened but lying next to her. He laid next to her and held her hand as tears rolled down her cheeks.

She’s meeting up with Max at his place for lunch and she was craving the chicken Caesar sandwich from the bistro on the pier. It wasn’t until she saw her that Y/N remembered this is a favored spot for Calum and Missy to be spotted and there she was. Standing off the side of the counter looking gorgeous in a spring dress.

Y/N tried to keep her head down as she ordered.

“And what’s the name?” the cashier asks.

“Y/N.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Y/N? Oh, it is you!” Missy says suddenly next to her.

“Got it this time, thanks. We’ll call you when your food’s ready.”

“Thanks,” Y/N mutters. She takes a deep breath and turns to Missy. “Hi.” She looks around the shop expecting to see Calum and trying to prepare herself to come face to face with him.

“He’s not here,” Missy says quietly glancing around the shop as well then grabs Y/N’s wrist pulling her to the far end of the sandwich showcase. “He’d actually hate me for even talking about this…and to you but…I’m so sorry. For everything. My manager came up with this PR stunt.”

“You don’t have to explain, I get it’s for publicity,” Y/N tries to get away from this situation as quickly as possible while also keeping herself together. Her neck is warm, and her breathing has accelerated in a slight panic.

Missy grabs her wrist again but pulls her into the women’s bathroom. Y/N’s affronted at the boldness of Missy’s actions.

“It is all publicity, I swear! I don’t know exactly what happened between you and Calum but he’s miserable. We’re friends now and all he talks about is you. How funny you are and kind you are. He really misses you,” Missy continues with a frown.

Y/N sighs. She really does seem nice but she’s still keeping her guard up. How could she not?

“He really cares about you, Y/N.” Missy stresses squeezing Y/N’s hand for emphasis.

“Missy, look. I appreciate you telling me all this. You… you actually seem really nice and genuine which makes it that much harder for me to dislike you.”

“I get that,” Missy nods her head, “but he really, really cares about you.” Her eyes grow bigger each time she said really, and Y/N gives her a confused look.

“Yeah…you um…you said that?”

“No, he…ugh he’s going to hate me, but he loves you. ‘Through the Dark is about you. He told me you’re the girl of his dreams when we met the Monday after his party. I’ve felt horrible all this time.”

Y/N stares at Missy while she processes what she just heard.

“When did he tell you that again?”

“His party was Friday, and we met that Monday to discuss the logistics of this stupid ploy. Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry for kissing him in front of you! I was drunk, I’ll kiss anyone, and I told him I did have a small crush on him but when I saw the way he looked at you it went away. I swear!”

“He really said he loves me?”

“Yes! When we’re not out getting photographed he’s always writing in his notebook and drawing flowers in it. Not that I’ve read anything,” Missy adds in a rush. “It’s just over his shoulder I saw it a couple times before he closed it.”

“Yeah but that was months ago, I’m sure he’s already caught feelings for you.”

“No, he hasn’t. Trust me. He’s become more like a brother to me, honest. I’ve been trying to force him to talk to you and our ‘contract’ is up in a few months anyway for the album release. I want to break if off early publicly so you can finally be together but he’s so stubborn he won’t.”

Y/N laughs lightly at how fast Missy talks. She’s not sure if it’s out of keeping this all to herself for so long or if that’s really how she is, talking a mile a minute.

“Thank you for telling me this, Missy. I…I can’t believe I’m telling you this since we don’t really know each other but I love him, too. I’ve loved him for so long but I’m the one who pushed him away. I’m the one who told him to do this deal with you because he and I only had one night together,” Y/N explains.

Missy’s eyes widen and she squeals in joy. “You love him too?! Oh, this is great. I’ll arrange for you two to meet up and—”

“Missy, Missy! No, no don’t do that. It’s been too long,” Y/N shrugs. “I doubt he’d want to see me.”

Missy plants her feet on the ground firmly, her face turning very serious very fast. Y/N’s a little taken aback at the fierceness in her gaze.

“Do you want to be with him?” she asks.

“Um..yes.”

“And you love him?”

“Yeah…”

“Then let me help you fix this, please. It’s the least I can do for coming between you when it wasn’t my plan to do so in the first place.”

Y/N takes a deep breath. She’s really starting to like Missy; she has a good heart.

“Okay. How can you help?”

“They’re all planning to go to the Invisible House for a week. I can’t go because I have a shoot to do in New York, but Ashton told me that Calum will be there a couple days before they all arrive.”

Y/N mulls it over, her mind thinking of ways to make it up to him. To apologize. To make him realize how sorry she is and how special he is to her. That despite all the hurdles and messes they’ve been through, that something they have is meaningful.

Then, she gets the perfect idea.

“Do you know when he’s going to be there?” Y/N asks and Missy smiles.

“I know all the details, Y/N.”

**

The drive to the Invisible House is pretty boring without his radio working so he hums to himself as he drives. Calum’s glad he decided to head there a few days before the rest of the group shows up. The pictures are immaculate and he’s excited to try out the hundred-foot pool.

He texted Missy when he was leaving, and she responded with an encouraging text in return.

‘Have fun! Let me know how everything goes 😉’

He’s confused by the winky face but appreciates it all the same. He’s glad to have her as a friend.

When he arrives at the building it’s dusk, the stars are just dusting the sky and the house is a glowing violet in the desert air. He stares at it for a moment, taking in the beauty of the panes of glass, breathing in the cool desert night. If they were all here a year ago maybe Red Desert would have been Purple Desert.

He shakes his head in disbelief. He’s starting to sound like Luke.

He grabs his belongings, two suitcases and a duffel bag and makes his way to the entrance. Ashton and Michael will be bringing the instruments for a jam session, so he didn’t pack his bass.

Once the door is unlocked, he’s mesmerized by the space before he hears music playing. Was that supposed to be playing? He sets his things by the counter and walks further in. The pool is lit up in a light blue and purple with glowing white lotus flowers floating on the water.

There’s flower petals beneath his feet as he walks the length of the pool. It’s a sweet aroma that fills his nose. Then he panics and thinks Michael has this set up for Crystal. He does not want to walk in on them having a private moment, but that’s hard to do in a glass house.

When he’s at the halfway point of the pool, the soft music becomes a bit louder and he recognizes the drum and guitar chords of Something by The Beatles. His mouth goes dry as he comes to the living area at the end of the pool to where Y/N is standing.

There’s petals on the carpet and she’s holding a white flower in her palm with a flower crown on her head. He’s at a loss for words.

“Hi,” she welcomes quietly.

“Hi…what are you doing here?” he wishes he didn’t ask such a dumb question.

“I should have rehearsed this beforehand what I wanted to say but I had to make sure this was all perfect before you got here. Um, I’m here for you. I know it’s been so long, and this is all my fault in the first place. Pushing you away and I thought I was protecting myself.”

She takes a step forward.

“I’ve been a mess without you, Cal. I miss you, so much it hurts. I think of you all the time, and that night we spent together. Your necklace is still wrapped around the flowers you gave me and that’s what made me think of doing this,” she gestures to her flowers on display all around. She takes another step forward. Closer to the step of the living area, closer to Calum.

“We’ve had our fair share of messes with each other. And it’s my fault for the last one so it’s my responsibility to rectify it. I wanted to show you how much you mean to me, how much that night meant to me.”

Another step forward and Calum is reminded of that night in his room. How he came to her, now he’s the one on the receiving end. He watches her with bated breath, and he knows she’s nervous (like he is) by the way she’s playing with the white flower in her hand.

“And the more I thought about the messes we’ve been through it made me think of the Lotus flower. It grows through the mud but when it breaks through, it’s this vibrant and full flower,” she takes two steps and is right at the edge of the step. She holds up the flower.

“And it’s like we’re the flower. We’re growing through the mud and I called it quits before we really bloomed. And…” she takes a shaky breath then laughs nervously, “this sounded romantic in my head but now it sounds super cheesy. But when I heard you were drawing flowers it made me feel like we were still connected.”

She doesn’t say anything more and neither does Calum. Then, when she looks up at him it all makes sense. What they’ve been through these last several months, that was their mud.

“Can you say something?” she whispers, “I’m starting to feel like an idiot and that this was a really stupid idea—”

He lifts her up to his level connecting their lips together. He brings her against him, and she wraps her arms around his neck, their lips getting reacquainted with each other. She tastes like strawberries and smells of flowers and he’s filled with bliss. He feels whole again.

“I love you,” he gasps when they pause to catch their breath. “I should have said it months ago, but I was scared. I thought it was too soon.”

“I love you, too. I’m so sorry for what I said that day. I wish I didn’t—”

He silences her with another kiss.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. I understand why you did it, sweetheart,” he cups her cheek and gazes into her eyes. “I shouldn’t have walked away like I did.”

“We really are a mess,” she laughs brushing his curls from his face.

“A beautiful mess,” he corrects sucking a kiss from her lips then holds her against him in a tight hug. He never wants to let go.

“Was this too much?” she asks moments later.

“No, it was perfect, thank you for doing all of this for me. I’ll be honest,” he stands up straight to look at her, “I thought I was walking in on Michael and Crystal.”

Y/N laughs and continues laughing until Calum kisses her and she’s left gasping.

“How about we try out the pool?” he mumbles.

They spend a good forty-five minutes in the pool. Soft touches and kisses are exchanged until they reconnect as one. They’re surrounded by the glowing flowers and the ripples they create from their movements. Words of love are spoken and moaned, echoing throughout the space.

They transition to the bed that is also covered in flower petals. Calum kisses down the length of her body, his lips ghosting over her core. Their eyes lock as he attaches his mouth between her folds, his tongue swirling around her bud.

Her legs squeeze around his head on their own accord as she’s vibrating with pleasure. The moans are continuous as he works her over into her second orgasm of the night. When it surpasses, she’s giggling quietly as Calum peppers kisses to her thighs.

“Wow…”

“That good, huh?” he remarks, his lips smacking against her skin bounce off the walls.

“Yeah but…” she rises up on her elbows to look down at him. “Is that all you got? You told me you’d make me cum eight times when we were in your bathroom. Or was that just talk?”

“Oh, you want to be a little sass, huh?” he bites down on the fleshy part of her thigh. “You really shouldn’t have said that.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” she smirks.

“Because now I’m going to make you cum ten times.”

“Okay, Cal, I was just jo—OH!” She falls back against the bed as she’s already filled with intense pleasure.

Suffice it to say, Calum did make her cum nine more times. The overstimulation and her noises got him riled up and he had to be close to her again. He made love to her slowly and tenderly. He gave her gentle kisses and she molded to him.

Before she fell asleep he was stroking her face after she drank some water, he really exhausted her.

“How did you know I was going to be here?”

“I ran into Missy at the bistro I love. She explained everything,” she replies sleepily. She’s struggling to keep her eyes open. “I like her, she’s nice.”

“Yeah, she is.”

“I think she and Max would get along,” she yawns snuggling closer to him.

“I’ll take your word for it. You can go to sleep you know.”

“I want to keep talking to you,” she squeezes his lower back.

“We can talk all day tomorrow. And tomorrow night. And the next day, and the next…”

“Mmm, that sounds nice,” she smiles closing her eyes. “I love you, Cal.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

**

Two days later the rest of the group arrived, and it was a happy albeit awkward reunion because Calum and Y/N were still naked in bed. They spent their time eating, watching movies, and having sex as much as they wanted. It was perfect but also took a lot out of them.

They were both fast asleep until their names were shouted, and Calum scrambled to cover Y/N up.

“I’m glad to see you, Y/N but I’ll hold off on the hug until you aren’t naked with Cal,” Luke laughs.

“We’ll go bring in the rest of the stuff,” Ashton giggles then winks at Y/N.

“Please tell me this was the only place you had sex,” Michael asks peering at them both with narrow eyes.

“Umm…”

“Ugh!” Michael throws his hands in the air. “You guys better not have left messes anywhere!” he complains walking back towards the main kitchen area.

Calum looks over the wall separating their ‘room’ from the rest of the house and turns to her.

“We’re done with messes, yeah?” Calum grins down at her and she nods bringing his face closer to hers.

“Something great came from the mess,” she agrees and slots her lips with his. They’ll have to be super quiet now. 

Taglist: @calpalirwin​​ @myloverboyash​​  @loveroflrh​​ @iovehemmings​​ @cxddlyash​​ @princesslrh​​  @spicycal​​ @mysticalhood​​ @notinthesameguey​​ @wastedheartcth​​  @itjustkindahappenedreally​​ @calumance​​ @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt​​  @sarcastically-defensive17​​ @another-lonely-heart​​ @devilatmydoor​​ @sanrioluke​​ @mayve-hems​​  @haikucal​​ @thatscooibaby​​  @suchalonelysunflower​​ @burstintocolor​​  @dead-and-golden​​ @mymindwide​​  @blackbutterfliescal​​ @redrattlers​​ @karajaynetoday​​ @quasighost​​ @i-like-5sos​​ @creampiecashton​​ @calpops​​ @superbloomed-c​​ @littledrummeraussie​​ @sexgodashton​

#calum hood oneshot #calum hood angst #calum angst #calum hood smut #calum smut #calum 5sos writing #calum writing #5sos writing #calum hood 5sos #calum fic #5soso fic #calum hood fic

[sweets-cookies]

Bakugo katsuki with a S/O who is shy and soft

Request:Bakugo with a S/o who is soft and shy

Author: I accidentally deleted the request so this is my apology for that but they only asked for bakugo so that's who I did~

Katsuki Bakugo

Everyone thought you guys were complete opposites and they weren't wrong but that also meant that no one knew you guys would surprisingly be so good together.

He was obviously always screaming whereas you were to shy to say much of anything to people you didn't know and were much to kind to ever talk back to someone

And at first he found you dumb like REALLY dumb, he was like "why wont she just stuck up for herself" was always his thoughts

The first time he insulted you and you just cowered at him and apologized profusely he immediately rolled his eyes and walked away but his brain was hella confused on why he NEVER wanted to see you like that again

"Ow watch where your going damn extra, next time I'll fucking explode you into peaces" he would say with a grunt as he had no clue who he was talking to and he honestly didn't care to much

"Y-yes I'll watch out sorry bakugo" you replied to him in a quiter voice scared that if you raised your voice he would be more upset. And when he looked down at you he swore his heat stopped

"Whatever just be careful dumbass" he said to you in a low voice and just walked away leaving you there wondering how you managed to survive his wrath

And surprisingly ever since that day he had never tried to insult you key word tried he would still do it every once and a while

Now if someone else tried to take advantage of your shyness or your softness he would go ham and I headcannon him lowkey doing that for all the girls, only he can make fun of you ya know

Anyway he would be so upset when he heard that people were taking your shyness as a weakness and tended to take it out on you always saying something along the lines of "you can't just let them shove you around idoit, you need to stand up for yourself more how are you gonna be a hero one day of you can't even stand up for yourself"

He honestly didn't mean it in a rude way or anything he just wanted you to be more considerate of yourself and your limits and that just because you were nice that doesn't mean people have a right to treat you like that

But when he didn't see a difference in your behavior he immediately knew he had to take matters into his own hands and basically became really protective of you which didn't fly by anyone in class 1-a but the only ones who dared to say something was the bakusquad

You hadn't ever really noticed his change and just thought he was being a bit nicer to you but no you were definitely wrong he was very obviously developing a crush on you that everyone could see except for you

And he wasn't the kind of guy to hold back I mean he's Katsuki bakugo who wouldn't want him, at least that's what he tried to tell himself but damn was he nervous when he did ask you out

You obviously said yes and he immediately felt a boost to his ego I mean how could he not when he just scored a shy and adorably soft significant other

He cherished you even if he didn't always show it or say it, he always had you on his mind and it freaked him out quite a bit not to mention how he hates feeling weak but you were a weakness he was more than willing to have

He figured that out after he tried to push you away and you didn't talk to him for a week, he's definitely a simp for you man

To everyone's dismay you guys actually made a lot of sense and you both made eachother a lot better

You made him become a bit softer and quiter and just more calm and controlled since he would never want to scare you away and just found himself naturally yelling less and whenever he got mad going to you for cuddles and your soft love

And he helped you get put of your shell a bit more and stand up for yourself, obviously you were always shy and to be honest he wouldn't change that for the world but his toughness made your softer side become a bit more rough at times when you felt insulted or just felt attacked

But none the less he was still always the angry boom boom boy and your were the cute soft and shy partner although that's not all you were known for it definitely was something.

At the end of the day he cherishes everything about you and would never want you to change for the world since you bring out the best from him.

#bnha headcanons #bnha headcannons #bnha #bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #mha headcanons #mha bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugo #bakugo x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader

[vintagehedgehogdragon]

Obey Me Characters and an MC with a facial difference.

GN/MC has a noticeable facial difference and has a tendency to hide behind a wall of hair/hats/hoods/or sunglasses if they started to feel self conscious.

Warning: Angst, bullying

Lucifer: 

He knew about your condition before you came to the Devildom, he didn’t know how it affected you though.

Tries to keep his expression blank, but his eyes widen slightly when he looks down at their face. Regains his composure quickly hoping they didn’t notice his expression change. (They did)

As he gets to know them, he sees that they have a tendency to look down at the floor most of the time.

Lets them know that if they ever need anything they can go to him, he knows how cruel humans can be, and knows that demons are even worse.

He walks around a corner and hears some lesser demons making fun of them. 

Silently walks behind them with his arms crossed glowering at the demons, placing a hand softly on their shoulder. Sending them running before he had to say a word. 

Takes them back to HoL and into his office where no one can bother them.  If they want it, he will pull them into a comforting hug letting them cry on his shoulder.

He made sure no one made fun of you while you were there.

Mammon: 

Shocked at first but recovers quickly. 

His mouth gets him in trouble a few times. He’s accidentally made a comment about their face and made them hide. 

Takes him a bit to recognize what this meant. One day he watched them run into the house their hood was up and had covered as much of their face with their hair as they could, and slammed their door shut.

Not wanting them to get yelled at by Lucifer for slamming doors he went to go talk to them

“Oy whatcha slammin doors for human, don’t ya know Lucifer hates that?” He lectures until he sees them sobbing under their blankets. 

His demon form flickered, who hurt his human

“I-I didn’t mean to yell at ya” he says softly to them sitting on their bed

They shakily tell him what’s been going on

He gets it, he gets bullied by his brothers a lot, pulls you into his lap to comfort you. 

He deals with the bullies, He doesn’t leave your side much just threatening anyone to come say something to you

Levi: 

He’s the one who is the least shocked by this, he’s seen enough anime for someone to look different isn’t anything new to him.

Becomes the one they get closest too the fastest, regardless of his self deprecation. They understand each other.

He won’t tell them but he understands wanting to hide when people look at him too long as well. He’ll offer them his jacket (if it has a hood) when they don’t have one if they start feeling self conscious. 

Goes to their room after getting a new game one day and finds them curled up on their bed softly crying

Worried that he did something at first, “Y-Y/N what’s going on” 

They tell him what was happening, drags them into his room and places them in his tub with a small hand held game and told them to play that while he finished the task he was on before. 

He found the people who had been making fun of them and hacked into a few of their gaming systems promptly deleting all their game data. (Thought about summoning Lotan, but didn’t want to scare Y/N)

Satan: 

Similar respond that Lucifer had.

Learns about the condition they had

He learns their mannerisms about hiding their face and when. 

He’s overhead people saying things when they aren’t around and just glares at them as he walks by. 

As long as he’s around them no one dares to say anything

The one day he wasn’t well enough to go to RAD he heard them sobbing as they ran into their room

He sent them a text asking they were okay, they explained that some people corned them trying to pull a non existent mask off their face. 

The next day there were reports of an attack and Satan had been seen sneaking out of HoL the night before.

Asmo: 

Shocked at first, but this boy doesn’t care.

He notices that they don’t have any mirrors in their room and makes them keep a full length one in their room.

He tries his best to make them feel good about themself. 

He invites them to do spa days and watches them flinch as he goes near their face too fast.

Extremely gentle when he touches their face, whether it’s just applying face cream or make up. He wouldn’t dream of hurting them

He takes them out shopping one day, and over hears some demons snickering about how he was only hanging out with them because he felt bad for them and it was all out of pity.

They ran back to HoL before they heard Asmo throwing shade at those who were making fun of them. 

Comes back to see them on the floor of their room and their mirror covered 

Reassures them that he thinks they’re beautiful/handsome as they are 

Beel: 

Notices, he doesn’t care what they look like.

He’s even more nervous that he’s going to hurt them

He watches them pull their hood up over their head when people look at them he thinks they are cold so he offers them his jacket. (They accept because it envelops them and makes them feel safe) 

Late one night they wake up hungry and find Beel as they chat they explain why they hide their face 

He rarely lets them walk alone now. Being a giant body guard for them.

The occasional daredevil has attempted to make fun of you only to be growled at by an angry (and probably hungry) Beel

Belphie: 

Similar to his twin

Might try joking with them about it, until he sees it really upsets them

He was up with Beel one night and heard them softly crying in their room. Peeking his head in the door he saw that they were having nightmares.

Back in his room he checked in on them in their dreams, seeing various demons he recognized mocking them and trying to contort their face to match the humans. 

None of them get much sleep for a while

Solomon: 

Also shocked at first, but doesn’t say anything

He knows it happens sometimes but isn’t always seen often

Knows that they probably get self conscious and offers to help find spells to boost self confidence

Hears some demon making fun of them and casts a spell for them to not be able to speak anymore. Walking up to them asking if they are alright. 

Tells the demon that next time he won’t go easy on them if he catches anyone making fun of Y/N again 

Simeon: 

Doesn’t care and isn’t phased in the least

“We’re all made in gods image” type attitude

Tries to compliment them everyday

Over hears some lesser demons making fun of them 

Comforts Y/N instead and later telling Diavolo and Lucifer about the incident 

Barbatos: 

He already knew what they looked like so he was prepared

He didn’t want to mess with time too much because unfortunately even he knew it was inevitable for them to get teased.

He would just make the futures of those who dared make fun of them a little bit more miserable

Offers them tea or other comforting drinks/snacks if they go to him for advice after being made fun of.

Diavolo:

A bit confused and concerned at first 

Soon gets used to the human’s look and finds them adorable

Likes catching glimpses of their smile when around the brothers, himself, Barbatos and the rest of the exchange program 

He had invited them to stay at the castle for a night, he wanted to check in with them.

When he learned that they had been being bullied he softly asked if they could describe them, and he would make sure no one made fun of them while they were in his care. 

#obey me shall we date #obey me fic #obey me mc #Obey me demon brothers #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #Obey Me Levi #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #Obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo

[daveeddiggsit]

No Return

Note: so this is not a new fic. i actually posted it back in 2017 (but deleted all my smut from this blog about a year afterwards haha we love being impulsive). but i’m over myself now, so i’m reposting! a lot of you have been asking about it, so... here you go. posted for all of y’all to enjoy again.

Word Count: 4.7k

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Reader

Warnings: smut. cursing.

Summary: Diggs loses a bet which results in him owing you a lap dance.

Parties at Rafa’s place were always the best; the drinks were great, the music was amazing, the atmosphere was never dull, but the best part about them were the incredible people that made up each one; you were never bored. There was always something to do whether you were talking to people, dancing, playing drinking games, or just drinking in general. And that’s why whenever you were told that there was going to be a party at Rafael Casal’s apartment, you never turned it down...even if you ended up showing up late.

“Well, look at who finally decided to show up.” You heard a familiar voice say as you walked through the door to Rafa’s place. Daveed grinned widely at you before he slid an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to him as you walked deeper into the apartment. “My favorite!”

Daveed was one of your closest friends and if you were being honest, it would have been a lie if you said you didn’t want him to become something more than that. The two of you often flirted and were constantly together (these occurrences happened so often that there were many times people believed you were dating), but neither of you had made a real move. You knew how you felt toward him, and he was giving you signs that he felt the same way, but no true actions were made by either party. So that’s why it stayed the way it was between you two: just close friends who often flirted with each other.

“Aw, I’m your favorite?” You asked, raising your voice so he could hear you over the loud music that was pumping through Rafa’s speakers.

“Uh, yeah,” he stated as if it was obvious, “but don’t tell anyone else. It’s a secret between you and me.” He whispered in your ear as you entered the kitchen.

Yeah, he had definitely downed a few drinks before you got here.

“Diggs, I’m pretty sure everyone heard you when you shouted it.” You laughed as you plucked the cup half-full of alcohol from his grasp, draining it of its contents. He pouted at you once you handed him back an empty cup.

“Y/N, hey! It’s been forever since I’ve seen you!” Adrienne said from beside Rafa who was pouring out a few drinks.

“Hey!” You pulled away from Daveed’s grasp to give her a hug. She’d been away in Canada for the last few weeks shooting for a new project she was working on. “I’ve missed you! Why’d you have to leave me alone to deal with these boys for so long?”

Adrienne laughed while Rafael furrowed his eyebrows.

“Oh, so you didn’t miss me? I see how it is, Y/N, I see how it is.” He feigned hurt, before pushing a couple of newly filled cups towards you and Daveed.

You rolled your eyes at him. “We had lunch a few days ago, Cash, it hasn’t been that long since I’ve seen you.”

“But so much has changed since then.”

You chuckled before taking a sip. “Like what? Did you finally finish that song you’ve been working on?”

“No.” Rafael replied before he smiled at Adrienne beside him. “Unlike Diggs, I am no longer a single and lonely Bay Boy.”

Daveed’s eyebrows furrowed as he cocked his head. “Yo, who said I was lone—?”

“You guys are finally together? Oh my god, congrats!” You cut in with widened eyes.

They both grinned at each other before Rafa leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“Aww,” you gushed, “you two are couple goals already.”

A few seconds passed before you felt Daveed’s arm drape around your shoulders again.

“You know, we could be couple goals too.” He said, looking down at you with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes, pushing him away. “Ha, you wish, Diggs.”

You laughed it off because you knew he was too tipsy to be serious. He always flirted with you like this, but why did this time feel so different?

A few drinks later, you were beginning to feel the familiar light-hearted, buzzing feeling course throughout your body, giving you a boost of energy. You had drifted away from Daveed and Rafa to roam through the house and catch up with people you hadn’t seen since your Hamilton days. You were talking with Adrienne and Ari when you heard your name being called from behind you.

“Aye, Y/L/N!”

You turned your head to see Daveed standing next to a table a few feet away. 

“Diggs!” You responded in the same playful tone.

He grinned at you before waving you over. “Come play Flip Cup with me.”

“Really?” You quirked an eyebrow. “You lose every time you play against me, D.”

“I’m feeling confident today. I’ve been practicing.”

You tried not to laugh as you rose from your seat and approached him. “Practicing?”

“Bruh,” Rafa snickered at his friend from the other end of the table. “You played a few games before this and won two in a row. That ain’t practicing.”

You let a smug grin show up on your face as you glanced back up at your best friend. “Daveed, I am the queen of Flip Cup, okay? You can’t beat me. Nobody ever has, and nobody ever will. That’s a fact.”

“I’m pretty sure I can beat you today, Y/N.” He said bluntly. Wow, he was forward when he was drunk. “I have a good feeling about this.”

“Ha,” you huffed out a laugh, “wanna bet?"

“What do you propose, oh mighty Queen of Flip Cup?”

You thought for a second. What was something you knew would make him think twice about challenging you? Something that would make him step down from this newfound cockiness he embodied.

When the idea formed in your head, you sent him a sly grin. “Winner gets a lap dance from the loser.”

You distinctly remembered an earlier conversation with him where he stated that he couldn’t dance. You knew it was untrue due to the times you’d seen him dance at the club or during some of the numbers in Hamilton, but you also knew that the wager wasn’t something he’d necessarily jump on (despite the confidence boost the alcohol had supplied him).

Rafa led the mini crowd that had formed around you in a chorus of “ooo”s.

“Deal.”

You looked up at Daveed in surprise. You hadn’t expected him to agree to the terms so easily.

“Diggs, that means if you lose— sorry, when you lose, you have to give me a lap dance.”

“I know.” He said seriously.

“And you’re good with that?”

“If it happens, which it won’t because I’m gonna win, then yes.” He stated, his mouth forming into a confident smile. “I’m good with that.”

Fine, he wanted a challenge? You were going to give him one.

“Alright, then.” You said, narrowing your eyes at him. “Game on."

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Daveed lost. Badly.

So badly, in fact, that you actually felt bad for him. So you tweaked it so it was the best out of five games...and even then, he still lost.

Oh well, it’s not like you didn’t warn him.

When the third game ended and Daveed realized his defeat, he threw his head back and groaned.

“Aww, don’t be such a sore loser. You lost fair and square, Diggs. ” You teased with a smile, wrapping your arms around his torso to hug him from behind. “I warned you. I told you I was the queen of Flip Cup, but you didn’t listen.”

“Those cups were rigged, Y/N.” He stated, turning around in your grasp so he could hug you back.

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Say whatever you want to make yourself feel better. Nothing’s gonna change the fact that you owe me a lap dance.”

He was quiet for a moment before he murmured something. “You know I can’t dance, right?”

“First of all, yes you can. And secondly, lap dances are different, Diggs.”

“No, they’re not.”

“Yes they are. And if you don’t think they’re different, you dance at parties all the fucking time. You should be able to handle an easy lap dance.”

He lifted his head back up from your shoulder to look down at you. “But Y/N...”

You let out a laugh before you patted his cheek lightly. “You dug yourself into this hole, loser. Guess you’re just gonna have to figure it out because you’re not getting out of this one.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

The next day you woke up to someone knocking on your door. In sweats and an old t-shirt, you made your way over to unlock it, squinting your eyes to adjust to the bright light. The slight hangover you had wasn’t really helping you get out of your groggy state.

“Daveed?” You asked, realizing who your visitor was once your vision adjusted. “What are you doing here so early?”

He was dressed in a yellow Oaklandish tank top that showed off his toned arms/shoulders and dark blue jeans with a brown belt buckled just enough to let them sit loosely on his hips. You also noticed that he decided to rock his glasses today.

You snapped your eyes up to his and away from his figure that left you breathless. You totally had not just checked him out.

“If your definition of early is 2 o’clock in the afternoon, I think you may need to reevaluate some things and consider fixing that sleep schedule of yours.” He replied with his lips turning up into an amused grin.

“Shut up, I had a late night last night.” You mumbled, turning around to walk away, leaving the door open so he could let himself into your apartment. “And you did too. I’m surprised you’re not asleep right now.” You glanced back at him to see him shrug.

“I had to meet Bill and Jon at the studio at 10. I’ve been up since, like, 9:30.”

“Damn, Diggs, you’re gonna have to teach me your ways.”

“Caffeine.” He chuckled, putting on his signature grin. “It works miracles.”

You returned the smile, before sending him a curious look. “So, why are you here? Not that I mind or anything, it’s good to see you, but you haven’t been over in like a month and a half.”

“Exactly! It’s been awhile since we’ve hung out alone, so I thought it’d be dope if we chilled and watched movies or something.” He replied before he went to ramble on. “I mean— only if you want to. If you’re really tired, I can leave so you can get some more sl—”

“No, no, it’s fine! That sounds great.” You cut him off and placed a hand on one of his toned arms to reassure him. 

“You sure?”

“Yeah!” You responded. “Just let me take a quick shower and we can start in like 20ish minutes.”

“A 20 minute shower counts as a quick shower?” He questioned with a teasing look.

“Yes,” you said, “or would you rather it be 45ish minutes?”

“20ish minutes is good. Have fun with your quick shower. Though, I think it would be more fun if I joined.” A tiny but noticeable smirk made its way onto Daveed’s face.

You laughed when he sent you a playful wink, dropping your hand from his arm to walk towards your room. “You wish, Daveed Diggs.”

“You have no idea.” He mumbled under his breath (inaudible to your ears) before he let his eyes follow your retreating figure.

“Maybe you could set up the movie in the meantime? It’s your turn to choose. The remote’s on the coffee table and you know where the popcorn and shit is in the kitchen. I’ll be out soon. If you need anything, yell.” You said before closing the door to your room.

Daveed sent a thumbs up in your direction even though he knew you couldn’t see it before he made his way to your living room.

Little did you know, Daveed had something else planned.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

When you emerged from your shower, you quickly dried yourself and combed through your now damp hair. After that, you exited your room and entered your living room to see that it was completely dark. Confused, you surveyed the room to look for your best friend, but there was no sign of him at all.

Did he leave? If he did, he didn’t text you or anything to let you know.

“D?” You called out, walking further into the room.

With each step you took, the more you realized how this seemed like a scene from a horror film. You weren’t a fan of them, but a few months back Daveed and Rafael had pretty much forced you to have a scary movie marathon with them.

“Daveed Diggs, I swear to God. If you’re trying to scare me right now, I will—”

You squeaked when a pair of arms snaked their way around your waist from behind. Daveed’s voice had come seemingly from out of nowhere. “You’ll what?”

“Kick your ass.” You glared at him, quickly turning around to push him away. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

He laughed, smiling brightly. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“No, you’re not.” You grumbled, moving to sit on your couch. Daveed followed you.

“You right. It was so worth it.” He grinned at you, causing you to roll your eyes at him. You tried to stay mad at him, but it was damn near impossible when he was looking at you like that.

“We’re not friends anymore.” You stated, crossing your arms.

“What, why?” He asked, his grin dropping into a pout.

“You were mean to me, Diggs! How dare you scare me in my own home!” You were laughing internally.

“Okay, fine. I’m sorry for real this time. What can I do to make it up to you?”

When he asked, you contemplated it for a few moments before you looked up at him with a smirk.

“What?” He asked.

“Well, you still owe me that lap dance…”

He groaned, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back on the couch. “I thought you forgot about that.”

“Nope.” You said, your smirk forming into a smug grin. You had the upper hand now. “How could I forget you losing a bet against me, resulting in a lap dance from the great Daveed Diggs himself?”

After a couple of seconds, he sighed, opening his eyes and tilting his face towards you. “If I do this now, will I win back your friendship?”

“I’ll think about it.” You said, causing him to give you a deadpanned look. You laughed before you spoke again. “Yeah, I guess we could be friends again. But it has to be good.”

Daveed sighed again before he straightened himself up. “I don’t even know how to give a good lap dance, Y/N.”

“Improvise. C’mon, D, you’re great at improv. Treat it like you treat a freestyle. Just go with the flow.” You smiled widely at him.

“Fine.” He said, getting up from his spot next to you. “But I’m only pulling through with this because I like you.”

“Aww, you like me?” You asked teasingly to mask the actual feeling that was coursing through you. You continued to grin at him as he pulled out his phone to scroll through his music library. When he finally settled on a song by The Weeknd, he turned to you once he pressed play.

“Do I start now?”

“Yes,” you laughed. “C’mon, you know how a lap dance works. You’re not a novice when it comes to these things, stop fucking around.”

You could see him smile and rub his arm before he looked away for a second. When he started to slowly sway to the beat of the song, it was extremely hard for you to stifle your laugh. Your best friend was about to give you a lap dance and you could not take him seriously.

He continued to dance to the beat for a bit as he stared you down with a smirk. He was doing this shit on purpose. He was joking around until you couldn’t contain your laughter any longer.

“Diggs, I can’t take you seriously like this. I can—” You wheezed. “I just can’t.”

Your laughter and the slow, sexy beats of the music were the only audible things in your apartment until Daveed spoke again. 

“Are you ready for me, Y/N?” His smooth, low voice washed over you.

You let out yet another giggle. “Don’t make it sound so sexual.”

“It's supposed to sound sexual, Y/N, it’s a fucking lap dance.” He chuckled, now standing directly in front of you.

“Alright, show me what you got, Bay Boy.”

You continued to laugh at him as you watched him, but the moment he straddled your lap, you stopped. His arms were on each side of your head, using the couch to steady himself over you as his hips began to slowly grind against you. That’s when the atmosphere in the room completely changed.

Your eyes widened slightly when you saw him bite his bottom lip in concentration. When you envisioned Daveed giving you a lap dance the night prior, you didn’t think it would be like this...it was flustering you more than you thought it would. Before you knew it, you were struggling to control your movements. Your fists were clenching and unclenching as you so desperately tried to keep them anchored to your sides.

As if he had read your mind, Daveed murmured, “You can touch me, Y/N. Don’t be afraid.”

If you weren’t turned on before, you definitely were now. His gravelly voice paired with his hot breath right next to your ear caused you to shiver, making goosebumps appear across your entire body.

Then, you finally let your hands wander. They traveled up his chest to rest on his shoulders, then back down again to move under the hem of his tank top so you could feel his bare and strong torso. Sure it was a bold move, but the more and more Daveed grinded on you, the less and less you cared. When his tank top rode up to the point where you could see all of his abs, he paused to stand up and quickly get rid of the article of clothing before he came back to straddle you again. 

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest as you looked up at your best friend. He looked undeniably attractive when he was on top of you shirtless and with his glasses on. Every feeling you had ever felt for him came crashing down on you at that moment and that’s when you just about lost your self-control. Part of your brain was screaming at you, saying that you were about to cross a line that you could never cross again...but at the same time, all of your cares had disappeared.

You used your newfound courage to cup Daveed’s face in both of your hands and pull him into a deep kiss. He gasped softly, surprised at the sudden contact, but quickly eased into it. 

You had just passed the point of no return.

You didn’t know what to expect when you decided to kiss him, but it was better than you could have imagined. When you pulled back, his mouth was slightly dropped in awe and one of the sides slowly twitched up into a soft smile. (It was kind of adorable.)

“Daveed, I like you.” You blurted, short of breath.

His face broke out into a full grin. “I like you too, Y/N.” 

“No,” you shook your head, moving your hands from his cheeks down to his shoulders. “I mean like— like like you.”

“I know,” he chuckled. “I mean, I figured given what just happened a few seconds ago. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

You shrugged, breaking eye contact with him. You subconsciously traced one of your thumbs across his collarbone. “I was afraid of rejection, I guess.”

“Are you serious?”

“What?” You asked, sounding offended.

Daveed caught your gaze again, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Y/N, I’ve had like the biggest fuckin’ crush on you since Ari introduced us.”

“Wait, really?”

“Mhm,” he hummed. “I’m actually really surprised you didn’t notice.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about your crush earlier, Diggs?” You voiced, giving him a pointed look.

He gave you a shy smile when he moved off of you to sit beside you, still facing you. “Same reason as you.”

“You know what? I’m not even mad about not knowing sooner.” You said. “I’m glad we found out like this.”

“You’re just happy I gave you a lap dance with my amazing skills.” He teased with a laugh of his own.

You laughed again, and pushed at his chest so he could lay on his back and let you crawl on top of him to straddle his waist. “Not gonna lie, I didn’t think you had it in you, Diggs.”

His jaw dropped completely as he looked up at you. “But you said that I could do a lap dance when even I said I couldn’t!”

“That’s true, but to be fair, I never said you couldn’t do a lap dance. I just didn’t think you’d do as well as you did.”

Your response brought yet another smile to his face as you leaned closer to him. “I’mma take that as a compliment.” He said softly.

At this point, the song Daveed had chosen had ended a while ago and the lap dance was long over.

“Good.” You responded before you kissed him again.

This one was different from the first. It started off soft, but quickly turned passionate and heated. As your mouths moved against each other, Daveed’s hands moved from your hips up to the hem of your shirt, his fingertips grazing your bare sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake. The only word you could use to describe this feeling was just complete bliss.

When you reached down to Daveed’s belt buckle, he shivered, causing you to smile against his lips.

Then he pulled away, panting. “Y/N…” he breathed. “Are you sure about this? You don’t have to— fuck.” He cursed as you pulled back completely to unbuckle his pants. “I don’t wanna push y—” 

“Daveed,” You said, before pausing quickly to put a hand on his scruff, tenderly moving your thumb to caress his cheek. “I’m absolutely sure about this. Now please, shut the hell up so I can blow you.”

You smirked when you saw his eyes widen and when you crawled off of him to go in between his legs, you heard a quiet, “Okay.”

Wasting no more time, you removed his jeans and boxers to free his erection. You could see Daveed’s chest begin to rise and fall quicker when you took his length into your hand and pressed a kiss to the tip of it.

“Oh, shiiit.” He drawled softly when your mouth wrapped around him, slowly sucking your way down as far as you could. As you began to bob your head up and down, Daveed’s breathing increased with each suck and occasional flick of your tongue.

Now, he was fully panting. He lifted his head up to look down at you, causing him to groan. After a minute or two, he brought a hand down to move some strands of hair out of your face.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he babbled, “I...I shouldn’t...oh God, I shouldn’t be this fucking close.”

You slowly pulled off of him and he brought you back up to kiss him again.

“You,” Daveed breathed against your lips, “are way too fucking good at that.”

You grinned.

“And,” he continued, “this clothing situation is a bit unbalanced, don’t you think?” 

His thumbs grazed the waistband of your sweatpants. When you nodded, you pulled them down along with your underwear. You moved off of him to take them off completely and remove your shirt and bra, leaving you just as bare as he was.

You climbed back on top of him, straddling his washboard abs, when he ushered you to move up. You obeyed, moving forward an inch or two, but Daveed shook his head and grabbed your thighs, moving you himself.

“Daveed, what are you doing?”

“Returning the favor.” He said simply, bringing you over to his face.

“Oh,” you breathed when you felt his tongue lightly touch your clit.

The man’s mouth worked miracles from between your thighs. Daveed kept you still above his skilled tongue, occasionally giving your ass a squeeze.

“D-Daveed,” you gasped, your mouth forming a perfect ‘O’ as his tongue lightly circled your clit before he brought fully into his mouth to suck gently.

This was the best head you’d gotten...well ever, actually. He wanted you to feel the best you’d ever felt and he definitely achieved that.

Before you knew it, you were reaching your high, climaxing as you shouted Daveed’s name, not caring how loud it echoed throughout your apartment. When you crawled back down Daveed’s body, the two of you shared a sloppy kiss as you both breathed heavily.

Although you just came, you weren’t completely satisfied. You still wanted him... needed to feel him inside you.

You moved to position yourself above his cock, but he made you pause before you could do so.

“Y/N, stop,” Daveed panted. “Condom.”

“Don’t need it.” You replied quickly. “I’m on the pill.”

“Oh, fuck yes.” He replied, releasing you so you could resume what you were about to do.

You breathed out a laugh before you slowly sank down onto his length, making both you and him release a groan. 

“You are so fucking gorgeous,” he gasped. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this.”

Your fingers ghosted along his stubble-ridden jaw. “I think I have an idea.”

When you adjusted to his size, you began to bounce and he helped you, meeting each of your thrusts as he guided your hips onto him.

Your lips met Daveed’s yet again and you captured every moan that fell from his mouth, he did the same for you. As your pace quickened, so did each grunt, pant, and moan. You felt your pussy begin to clench again like it had when you came before.

“I’m gonna come,” Daveed said quickly against your mouth.

“Fuck.” You groaned. “Me too, D.”

“Come for me, sweetheart.” He breathed, bringing a hand up from your hip to cup your cheek. “You can do it.”

And you did.

Your walls clenched around him and you gasped, letting your orgasm wash over you in waves. Daveed came shortly after you, and continued to thrust, riding the both of you through your highs.

As you came down and pulled yourself off him, you collapsed, exhausted, halfway leaning on him and halfway laying on your couch. You moved a hand up to rest on his chest again, closing your eyes in bliss as you relaxed against him.

After a minute or two of silence, Daveed broke it.

“Wait, so...does this mean we’re friends again?” 

You looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. He was still on that? Wow, what a dork. “After this? Everything that just happened?” You asked bewildered. “God, I hope not.”

“Fine,” he said letting his signature bright smile show up on his face, still breathing heavily. “More than friends?”

Your heart fluttered in your chest and you grinned widely back at him. You leaned up to softly kiss his jaw before you gave him your answer.

“Way more than just friends, D.”

#daveed diggs x reader #daveed x reader #hamilcast x reader #daveed diggs fanfiction #smut

[theclockworkmonk]

Title: Intermission

Summary: During the intermission of "The Boy in the Iceberg," Zuko and Toph are fed up with Aang and Katara's drama.

Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender

Read on AO3

Read on FF.net

For Throwback Thursday, thought I'd post the first fanfic I ever wrote, back in August of 2013 (so excuse how...not good it is). The way Katara goes from rejecting Aang to kissing him with zero conversations in between always bothered me, so I wrote this scene that could have been a deleted scene in the episode, and to this day the type of fanfic I'm most drawn to is "missing" scenes that would have improved an aspect of the story. So awkward writing is what sucked me down this rabbit hole.

******

"Ow! What was that for?" Zuko rubbed his arm, suspecting a bruise would probably form.

Toph just smiled innocently. "That's how I show affection," she said as if she had just baked him a cake instead of physically assaulted him.

Zuko was glad Toph hadn't been with Aang, Katara, and Sokka back when he was chasing them on their way to the North Pole. They had given him enough bruises, lacerations, and concussions on their own. If Toph had been there, he'd probably still be eating through a straw.

"So, anyway, do you know where Aang is? I'm starting to worry. I told Sokka that this play wasn't worth the risk."

Toph just frowned, "Why are you asking me? In case you haven't noticed, this whole place is made out of the evil substance known as wood."

"I thought maybe you would know because he told you. Ya know, that's how the rest of us keep track of where people are."

"That sounds like a hassle," Toph said casually with a finger digging in her ear, "Anyway, Twinkle Toes is probably in the same place as Sugar Queen."

Zuko groaned for what seemed like the 12th time tonight. "Good. Maybe with them alone together they'll finally clear the air and allow the rest of us to move on with our lives."

"Hey, at least you just got here. Meathead and I have had to endure this drama for months."

"I honestly don't understand what their thinking is," Zuko sighed with his head in his hands, "At least you have the excuse that Sokka has a girlfriend."

Zuko saw Toph scowl a scowl that would even put Azula to shame. "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about, and unless you want a more symmetrical face, you don't either."

Zuko rolled his eyes, "Whatever. I was surprised to find out they weren't official yet by the time I got here. Especially after Katara straight up threatened to kill me if I looked at him wrong."

"Wait, what now? You serious?"

"Yeah, it was the first night I spent at the Air Temple."

"Nah, she was bluffing."

"Toph, I grew up with Azula. I got pretty good at spotting lies. Katara meant every word she said. And it got even worse when I would try to train Aang. He would always make up some excuse about how he needed to practice more waterbending, even though he's been working on that almost a year."

Toph grunted in agreement, "You don't need to tell me. Just as I was about to break through his earthbending block, Her Sweetness comes in all 'Oh, don't worry, it's okay, we can practice waterbending. Come on, let's go splash around in our underwear.'"

"Yeah, I've been thinking that if they just got it out in the open then he could concentrate again. That's why I've been getting closer to Katara. I thought maybe if I piss him off enough he would man up and push me out of the way."

Toph smirked in her very self-satisfied way, "I knew it! Though, you might want to tell Snoozles about that plan. He's been worried that you really were interested in her. I guess that explains the seating arrangements this evening?"

Zuko rubbed the back of his head and smiled guiltily. "Yeah, I made double sure to sit next to Katara, and for a second he actually seemed like he was going to grow a backbone. I was thinking 'Come on, this is driving you crazy, isn't it? Call me out, why don't you want me sitting here?' but he hog-chickened out again. And I've been doing this for a while. After I saved Katara from being crushed at the temple, I made sure to stay on top of her just a little longer than necessary, but that just made her mad at me rather than him."

"And your little field trip?"

"Well, no, that really was just me trying to help her. But me decidedly not inviting anyone else, not even Sokka, to come help find Yon Rha had something to do with my meddling."

"And plus, it certainly seems like the play is helping you," Toph laughed.

Now it was Zuko's turn to scowl. "I actually think I got more than I bargained for with that. I'm just certain that if he finally told her he liked her, they could move forward and not be stuck in this limbo."

Toph looked confused, "Oh, she knows that he likes her. Did no one tell you that? He kissed her on the day of the invasion. Twinkle Toes waited until everyone else was gone, but he apparently forgot that they were standing on a giant metal submarine. He's kind of stupid like that."

Zuko just sat back, re-thinking his efforts, that he apparently had been wasting, "Well….huh. I guess I was wrong. Maybe she doesn't like him that way."

Toph sniggered in the way she always did when people failed to hide things from her, "Oh, she likes him, Sparky. You don't enjoy a kiss that much unless you do."

"You can tell?" Zuko asked in an alarmed voice. Toph's semi-mind-reading abilities still creeped him out.

"Oh yeah, her heartbeat went through the roof and she apparently forgot how to breathe until Meathead reminded her that we had a nation to invade."

Now Zuko was downright angry now. "Well then why the hell are they still dragging this out!?" He asked, probably too loudly.

Toph smirked and raised one eyebrow. "I think the better question is why you care so much. I mean, I find the drama annoying, sure, but you're really going above and beyond." She nudged him in the side and winked, "could it be that our own resident Angsty McEmopants is secretly a hopeless romantic?"

Zuko elbowed her back, "I'll have you know that I care as his firebending teacher. Firebending is fueled by raw emotion and passion," he nervously tried to figure out a euphemism, "and I just, um, thought that if he had a particular something that invokes certain….urges, then it would give him a little boost."

Toph grinned again. "So you're hoping that Sugar Queen makes him hot in more ways than one?"

Zuko groaned. "Well, if you must put it that way, yeah. You've been hanging out with Sokka too much." He stood up, "I'm going to go find them to see if they do something stupid."

And, sure enough…

***************

Katara was a split second away from kissing Aang back when her eyes shot open

NO!

She pushed him away, trying to muster up some anger. "I just said I was confused!"

Aang simply looked down. He had the same look on his face as when she pulled him out of the Avatar state at the Southern Air Temple, and he had no choice but to accept that he was the last airbender.

"I'm going back inside." She had intended to calmly walk back into the theater, but she had to run to keep Aang from seeing her eyes watering. She burst through the doors and stopped a few steps in to try to get ahold of herself. That was when she heard the voice behind her.

"Katara, who exactly do you think you're fooling?"

She whirled around and saw Zuko standing behind the door, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Had he been listening?

"Yes, Katara, I was listening. So I'll ask you again, who do you think you're fooling?"

She turned around with a scowl on her face, determined not to get roped into this conversation. If she couldn't talk about Aang with Aang, how could she with Zuko? "Mind your own business, Zuko."

"Katara, you're a very gentle soul. You're peaceful, compassionate, understanding, slow to violence. To the point of stubbornness, in fact, which is one reason you two deserve each other. Hell, you didn't even kill the man who murdered your mother in cold blood. And yet even now, I don't doubt that you would have one second's hesitation to end me if you thought I might hurt Aang."

"Don't paint me in that light Zuko," She couldn't help but smirk, "I would totally give you one second's hesitation. Probably."

"So why are you putting up this 'confused' act?"

She put her hands on her hips and scowled, "You don't know how I feel, Zuko! Of course I'm overprotective of Aang, he's my best friend, not to mention that whole only-hope-for-the-world thing."

Zuko raised a skeptical eyebrow, "Your friend, huh? That's funny, because it's not Toph you were homicidally protective of, nor your own brother, who would be a lot easier for me to hurt, need I remind you. And don't think that I didn't notice you getting angry when those actors had you saying that you think of Aang as a brother. That wasn't a look of concern about Aang getting his feelings hurt, that was you pissed because they got something wrong about you."

"Well aren't you just the mind-reader?" she asked with enough sarcasm to upstage her brother.

"No, I'm not. I don't have to be. Newsflash Katara, the entire group knows. Sokka, Suki, Toph, even Duke, Haru, and Teo knew about it. Hell, all it takes is watching a single one of your 'waterbending sessions.'" He said the last two words with air-quotes.

Katara looked away nervously and blushed, "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, to be fair, I'm not a waterbender, but none of my training sessions involved my teachers pressing up against me from behind to correct my stance."

"So, I was making doubly sure he had the proper form, what's your point?"

"My point Katara, that I had the waterbending scroll in my hand as you were doing it, and he was already doing it right. There was no 'correcting' to be done."

"Alright, FINE!" She almost shouted, "Maybe I have some feelings for Aang, but…he can't afford any distractions or confusions right now."

"Katara, don't think that I'm stupid enough to believe that you're stupid enough to believe that. In what way would knowing that the person he loves loves him back and is there for him be a distraction? What is a distraction, however, is this game you're playing. Why do you think I'm here? I don't care about your love life, but this uncertainty is keeping me from doing my job as his teacher. Even after we trained with the dragons, Aang has been too timid, too hesitant. Firebending requires lowered inhibitions and absolute confidence in oneself. Now I know why he's been like that. Because the one time he was completely open and bold in his emotions about the thing most important to him, you left it hanging there untouched for weeks. And now that you've full-on thrown it back in his face, he might get even worse."

Katara couldn't keep her eyes from watering anymore, "Well then he should get over it! Get over me! What's the point, Zuko? It's not like my love for him will protect him! What, is your dad going to be so moved by our love for each other that he decides not to try to kill him?" She slumped against the wall and sat down, hugging her knees as tears streamed down her face, "He died in my arms once already in Ba Sing Se. I can't lose him all over again."

Zuko came over, sat down and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Before I left to join you, I had a girlfriend back home. Her name's Mai. You've already….become acquainted with her."

"I'm better acquainted with her knives, but whatever."

"When I left, I left a note for her saying that we weren't together anymore. I thought ending our relationship would make her lose her feelings for me, so that if anything happened to me, she wouldn't be hurt. Sokka and I are still alive because I was wrong. Even though we weren't technically together anymore, she still loved me enough to go against Azula and save my life, and I still love her enough for that knowledge that she's rotting in prison eat me alive every single day. Hiding behind words and technicalities about where you stand can't change how you feel. It just adds the weight of things not said if something does go wrong."

He stood up. "I'm going back to the seats. Think about it."

Toph was the only one already back when he got back to the balcony. "Have you seen Suki and Meathead yet?" he asked.

Toph answered with a punch to his gut, "Only I get to call him Meathead. But no. Honestly, Sokka has probably gotten them both thrown out of the theatre for harassing actor-Sokka. Twinkle Toes or Sugar Queen do something stupid?"

"Both did, actually. I think I might have managed to get to through to Katara."

People started shuffling in to retake their seats. "I will say this though, this intermission has definitely been the most dramatic part of the play so far."

#kataang #aang x katara #aang #avatar aang #katara and aang #katara #zuko #toph #the ember island players #avatar: tla #avatar the last airbender #atla #atla fanfic #team avatar #missing scene #one shot

[agustdef]

XX

Pairing: Johnny Suh x Reader x Min Yoongi

Genre: Angst; Fluff; Friends to Lovers; Coworkers to Lovers

Word Count: 16.1K

Warning: Language; Past Infidelity (not by anyone in the pairing); Mild mention of not great mental health; Implied Smut at the end. 

Rating: PG15

My Weird and Mildly Chaotic Banner Maker: @dee-ehn​

My Lovely Dweeb Beta Reader: @guktro​

A/N: This fic was crafted for the DramaVers collab hosted by the ever so lovely (never tell her I called her that) @namluve​. My fic is based off the K-Drama/Web Drama, XX, which you can watch here if you feel so inclined. Would recommend. (Psst... it’s only 5 episodes all under an hour long.)

Summary: When you work your whole life to reach your dreams of owning a bar you hope that having that dream ripped from under you without notice isn’t a part of life’s plan. And you definitely don’t imagine that it comes with suddenly being business partners with your ex-best friend. But life doesn’t work in the way we want it. At the end of the day you try to focus on the things that make life better, until the two men in your life who hold your heart (something you didn’t think possible) meet and hit if off so well that you’re sure your life is moments from collapsing completely.

The entire time Hyuk spoke YN sat there feeling like she couldn’t process his words. She heard all of it and took it in, but she was stuck on what he’d said when she’d walked into their bar to do inventory on the one day they were closed. Hyuk wasn’t supposed to be there, so it shocked her to see him pacing about but then he blurted something out and she’d never had the chance to exit her shocked state.

“YN, did you hear me?” he asked.

She wasn’t completely pulled from the surreal feeling she experienced, but enough of her became present enough to look at him and nod. Of course, she wanted to retreat into thoughts that said it was all a dream when she saw the pity in his eyes.

“I really am sorry, YN. I had to sell it and I know I said I’d give you a heads up if I ever wanted or needed to give my share up, but it couldn’t be helped. It was the only way to get my father to give into appointing me a position on his board before he found someone else. But I found someone who's done well with other bars and she’s just trying to expand her portfolio, so I’m sure she’ll sell you her half when all is said and done,” Hyuk reassured.

None of his words helped her feel good about it though, if anything she felt worse after hearing him. It became more real as he explained things to her for the third time that night. Her dream of the bar being hers had been so close, she’d almost had all the money to buy him out and it all came crashing down.

To think her phone calendar had a day three months in the future as the day she’d succeed. For a moment all she could think about was deleting it, so instead of responding she pulled out her phone and did just that.

“What are you-” he started, until he noticed what she did.

“YN, I-”

Her standing abruptly was what cut him off the next time; plus startled him to the point where he almost slid from his bar stool. His klutzy actions usually brought her some joy no matter how brief, but nothing in her could muster up any positive emotions.

After she took a deep breath she stared at him with a neutral expression and spoke. “You can put everything I need to know in the office for me to check in the morning. Anything else can be sent to me via email. That includes the new co-owners contact information so that I can set up a meeting with them so we can discuss things. If I need something you didn’t give I will contact you. I hope everything works out just the way you want it, Hyuk. I’m leaving now, lock up behind yourself and mail me the keys.”

With that she turned on her heel and walked out of the door, she needed to put some distance between her and him. As well as her and the bar. Not even Hyuk calling out for her stopped her from leaving, nothing he had to say was something she needed to hear. At least not while her world crumbled before her eyes.

From there she went home. The process was a blur as she relied on muscle memory to get her on public transportation and then walk the rest of the way. By the time she came to she was inside and knocking on the door to her roommate’s bedroom.

“YN, I thought you wouldn’t be back until three,” Johnny said as he opened the door, voice laced with sleep.

However, his inquiry seemed to no longer matter as he took YN in. She’d stopped holding it all in and her body slouched, shaking slightly as the tears poured down her face. Every second or so she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out until the sob finally released itself.

Johnny had her in his arms instantly. Not a word was uttered as he used one hand to press her face close to his chest and the other to rub slow circles into her back. And even when she calmed enough to speak, he merely shushed her and pulled her into his room. She wasn’t allowed to say a word until she was dressed in one of his too big t-shirts and they were cuddled in his bed.

She appreciated it too, because even though she’d been ready to talk her mind needed time to collect itself before she blurted out nonsense.

“Hyuk sold his share of the bar to someone else. Needed to let it go for his dad to give him some position at his company or some shit,” she whispered.

She felt Johnny’s body stiffen as she finished and then felt him take several deep breaths as she felt his heart speed up. He wasn’t a person quick to anger, but in certain situations he just couldn’t stop how quickly it came to head. Especially when he was proven right in a way he wished he wasn’t.

Minutes ticked by as he did his deep breathing and YN expected him to blow up or point out how he’d warned her, but nothing came.

“No, I told you so?” she asked.

That got a laugh out of him, though it was bitter.

“You know I won’t. This isn’t like when you bust your ass trying to get down from a table while drunk. This is your dreams being tampered with by a prick who couldn’t even show his dad he was responsible by co-owning a successful bar, but still managed to get what he wanted at your expense.”

Displeasure coated his every word and though it should’ve made her sad to think of her former co-owner and his shitty behavior she couldn’t help but laugh. It was because as he spoke she remembered all the times Johnny had snubbed or called the man out on his bare minimum rich kid behavior to his face. Johnny had never liked him and it was always clear to everyone, so he never missed a chance to be petty.

Sadly, that amusement went as quick as it came.

YN sighed. “Well, it is what it is now. Can’t change what’s already done. At least he said they only want to own it temporarily to pad their portfolio or some shit.”

In an instant, Johnny pulled back and looked at her with wide eyes.

“So, there’s still a chance?”

Though the hope in his voice boosted hers, she couldn’t get herself to give in. So instead of being as enthusiastic, she nodded.

Johnny’s eyes narrowed at that. “I will allow your non-excitement to slide because you are in shock and hurt, but you’re not going to go back to thinking this is a pipe dream. You can and will get the bar all to yourself. And let’s not forget you’re close to saving enough to start your own elsewhere if it falls through. And before you say it, I know this is your dream place in your dream location, but remember you had another dream location before this.”

Naturally, her best friend didn’t even allow her to voice her negative thoughts, something she was grateful for in that moment. She’d had a rant about how she should give up and all kinds of downer nonsense ready to spill out before he’d called her on her bullshit.

Another sigh escaped her and she nodded before laying her head on his chest again.

“Are you opening today?” she asked.

“No. After the bridal party, who wanted to drink and make perfume all night, I needed a break. And because they went well over their time I got paid double so I could miss three days and still not feel the loss.”

“Then can we stay in bed all day?” she asked.

“Sure, we can order something and watch TV. But can we sleep first, you woke me up too early,” he whined.

It was noon.

YN shrugged. “Fine with me, but I need to go get a bon-”

Before she could finish that sentence a dark purple bonnet was shoved in her face and she barely grabbed it before a thought came to her.

“You did steal it!”

“No, you left it in here after you took down your braids that one day. I found it somewhere in my dirty laundry. I for one don’t need a bonnet and for two, after the time I borrowed your SPF lotion and you nearly murdered me I learned my lesson,” Johnny said.

“You almost made me go outside ashy. My skin was being uneven with its six shades of brown instead of one, I didn’t need it to be dry too.”

He rolled his eyes at that but adjusted them a little so he could press a kiss to her forehead and then got comfortable.

“Yes, yes I know. Now put it on and go to sleep,” he said.

Part of her wanted to say something more, but she simply slid the bonnet over her hair, which was twisted, and laid down.

As her eyes closed her brain drifted to the horror of her morning, but she fought it off and tried to focus on the positive. Johnny was right; she had options, which didn’t leave her at a complete loss no matter how things went and that was a good thing.

Plus, she had Johnny by her side, even if it wasn’t always in the way she wanted. That thought brought a twinge to her heart, but she cuddled closer and reminded herself that moments like that were enough.

“He just dropped it all on you at once? I knew he was a self-centered prick, but damn,” Yoongi commented.

YN had relayed what happened to her main bartender when they’d both come in to prep the bar before it opened. She planned to keep it from him until she met her new co-owner, but he saw through her the moment she walked in that afternoon. Fighting him was futile, something she learned within the first six months of him working there, so she just spilled everything as she wiped down the bar stools.

“Yup. No warning at all, just told me with everything done before I could object. Something about thinking just being straightforward would lessen the blow. Since I prefer bluntness and all that,” she mumbled.

Out of the corner of her eyes she noticed Yoongi pause as he wiped down the counter and turn to look at her fully.

“Does that dumbass still not know what the word blunt means? Because it’s sure as fuck not screw over your business partner and the only person who kept a business afloat while he cried to daddy about not getting the position he wanted because he’s a failure. Fucking weirdo,” Yoongi shouted.

Though it wasn't really funny YN couldn't help but throw her head back in laughter, pausing in her cleaning as it coursed through her. She couldn't even stop the tears that came along with it.

When she finally pulled it together Yoongi was cleaning again, but the smile he wore showed he was happy with his handy work. And YN was thankful for it. He always knew just what to say to make her laugh when she needed it, even if the joy only lasted for a few seconds. It was one of the things that drew her into him as they got to know each other. Past his introverted defense mechanisms was a sweet man who often just did his best to help wherever he could.

The only person keeping her sane most days.

“Well, yeah he is a dumbass I will finally and fully admit it. But, he was a dumbass keeping me from having to put off certain things to keep this place moving forward, so for a time he was worth something. Now he’s just a fucking headache fucking up my plans.”

Silence filled the room after that as they finished sanitizing everything and got the bar set up for patrons. They were ready an hour in advance, which wasn’t something they usually did with YN preferring it to be only thirty minutes before the last thing was finished, but she didn’t want them working as she met the new co-owner.

There was nothing in her that wanted to impress them, but she preferred all the things be in tip top shape and nothing left to worry over as she handled something so stressful. It shouldn't have felt like that, but meeting someone she didn’t know and didn’t choose in a bar they would both own wasn’t fun. Especially when she thought about other people who’d come in before wanting to be her business partner but wanted everything changed. Something that wouldn’t happen.

“You can take a break and go out if you want. I can meet them alone,” she said as she checked one of the mini fridges under the bar one last time.

She expected Yoongi to say he’d go grab coffee from his favorite place to give him that final boost to keep on his customer service voice all shift, but he shook his head no. He grabbed a bottle of water and sat down at one of the tables farther into the bar. It confused YN and she planned to say something, but then the sound of a door opening caught her attention.

They both turned their attention to the intruder and YN immediately felt like the wind was knocked out of her.

In the door of her bar stood Chae Hyungwon, her ex-best friend.

Thankfully, he appeared just as shocked as she was, though he tried his best to pull it together. His usual fake confident smirk made an appearance and his gaze shifted from her to the space around them. His head nodded every so often and soft sounds of approval slipped from his lips as he did.

YN knew it was him avoiding her gaze to prepare whatever non-caring act he planned to put on with her, but that didn’t ease her at all.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

After several seconds of blatantly ignoring her Hyungwon responded.

“Is that any way to speak to your new boss?” he asked.

Shock wasn’t the word that YN used to describe how hearing those words felt, mostly because it wasn’t what coursed through her. It was more like amusement at being some sort of joke to the universe. Amusement and immense sadness.

“Co-owner. You are my co-owner. And let’s not forget that I own most of it,” YN said.

Hyungwon’s eyes went wide. “You’re the co-owner?”

That was a small win for her.

“Ah, so Hyuk didn’t just decide to withhold information from me. At least he’s a consistent idiot,” she said.

There was a beat of silence before YN pulled herself together and decided that she would unleash her feelings later and handle her predicament in that moment.

“So, shall we sit and talk?” she asked.

Hyungwon stared at her for a moment before nodding. At that YN motioned towards a table she’d set up for them and went to sit down. She waited a moment for him to settle in before pushing a folder across the table. And though clearly confused he took it and flipped through the contents.

He scoffed. “What is this, a college orientation? Am I to read and sign all of these, then be punished if I fail to do them or disregard them?”

“Yes.”

That startled him, but YN didn’t give him time to recover.

“That contains all the information that you need to know about this business. How it is currently run, it’s vendors, it’s monthly costs, the excel sheets we use to track information so that we can make small changes here and there to stay on top of how to best run things. And as you saw on top, explains the rules that I’ve laid out for you as co-owner. They are the same for anyone who wants to take on that role and besides small adjustments have remained the same throughout my use of them. They are not fYNible. With a compelling argument I may be willing to bend something but the odds are virtually nonexistent. They must be understood and abided by and any of them that are major violations will be cause for termination of your co-ownership, without a mandatory buyout from me. Which is something that was in the contract that Hyuk gave you, so you’ve already agreed.”

“That’s not allowed. I saw it, but it didn’t go into-”

YN laughed. “You signed a contract without meeting with the other co-owner, the person who owns fifty-five percent of this bar. Thus, not allowing yourself the chance to get all the information. Which means you forfeit the right to suddenly demand a change on something you agreed to blindly. My rules are not outlandish, they are just specific and demand that you are serious or at the very least don’t get in my way.”

Laughter escaped Hyungwon, but it clearly held no humor. For a moment he looked prepared to argue or leave, but he simply reopened the folder and read over the first few sheets. Though there were a few sounds that were akin to disapproval that wasn’t what reflected on his face when he glanced up several minutes later. It was more so a look of mild amazement.

“This keeps anyone who buys in from doing anything slightly shady behind your back or straight up dumb without mutual decision. It’s ironclad, makes sense not to put it directly into the contract since you’re opposed to negotiating that part,” he said.

Part of her felt proud, though it was solely because she knew she’d done things well in that respect. But the other part of her was displeased that the pride appeared from hearing a form of praise from Hyungwon, even if it wasn’t directly from impressing him.

Naturally, he couldn’t leave it on a positive note though.

“Too bad you didn’t come up with one where it stopped him from fucking you over,” Hyungwon mumbled.

“Yeah, so sad, if only we could make those kinds of things for everyone we encounter. Though I guess something for me to hold people accountable for fucking me over wouldn’t be something you’d be personally interested in. Could be used against you,” YN said without missing a beat.

Hyungwon’s face went red after that and she could see a flurry of emotions playing out on his face but could pick up on none. Not that, that lessened her amusement at all. She’d gotten a reaction out of him and it was childish, but felt wonderful nonetheless.

“Is there anything else you need to show me?” Hyungwon finally asked after a minute.

YN nodded and stood from her seat.

“I can show you around the place and explain how things run. However, I ask that you hold all questions until you have absorbed all the information, I don’t mind if you use your phone or something to write things down as I talk. But if you think it’s important to know please stop me and ask.”

All she got was a nod before she led him around the space. She showed him the back rooms, including the office, and explained how things worked schedule wise with everything. Then she brought him back out front and pointed out things behind the bar to get him acquainted with how things worked. Then she led him through the space and showed him the balcony that gave the best access to their view of a skyline and water off in the distance. Once finished she brought him back inside and was about to wrap it up, but then he spoke.

“How many employees are there?” he asked.

“Including myself seven. With the way we currently operate, more aren’t needed, but there is still a chance we could hire a few more.”

Hyungwon nodded. “And I’m guessing he’s one.”

That was the first time YN glanced Yoongi’s way since Hyungwon appeared and she turned to see the male drinking his water and scrolling through his phone.

“Yes, Yoongi has been here almost a year now.”

At the sound of his name Yoongi looked up and while he didn’t seem particularly fond when he glanced Hyungwon’s way he did offer YN a smile, one she returned happily.

After that her attention moved back to Hyungwon who glanced between the two of them and looked prepared to say something but didn’t.

“Well, is there anything else you need or would like to see? We open pretty soon so we’re running low on time,” YN said.

Seconds ticked by as she watched Hyungwon stare at her but seem off in his own little world. It was something that was the norm for when he debated on what to say or do so it wasn’t surprising, but it made her uncomfortable.

“Hyungwon,” she called out.

He snapped out of it and cleared his throat. “No. I’m good. I’ll just sit off in one of the back corners for a while to watch how things go and then leave.”

A nod and then YN left him to do what he wanted. The two waitresses for the night arrived just then and everyone got their behinds into gear. Then minutes later their customers began filing in.

Though YN’s mind reeled from what happened she didn’t get the chance to linger on it, because work became the focus quickly. She enjoyed bartending so she did that alongside Yoongi and though the place wasn’t packed, people tended to order drinks rapidly. And since their bar had made its name for mixed and signature drinks it wasn’t just rounds of shots. They needed to mix drinks and do it right, half-assing it to get it out quickly wasn't something they did. Especially since part of the draw for some, besides the drinks, was watching them being made. They enjoyed some sort of show with it, though neither YN nor Yoongi went all out to impress, just did what they needed to with focus and a slight flourish.

So, by the time she caught her breath and wasn’t focusing on anything work related and glanced up to find Hyungwon she noticed his former spot taken up by someone else. He was nowhere she could see, so she assumed he left and felt herself sigh in relief. It didn’t clear the chaos she kept at bay in her mind, but helped it settle some.

However, she again didn’t get time to linger on it because they’d done the last call and an influx of orders came on. She and Yoongi worked to get them out and were thankful when people began to leave, some stumbling to the exit with the help of security.

From there everyone immediately began working on their sections to clean and an hour and a half later they were all on their way out the building. YN saw off her waitresses and security then prepared to say her goodbyes to Yoongi only for him to be giving her a look she saw when he’d offer to join her on the way home and she’d deny.

Which meant that fighting him on it would’ve been useless, so she just began walking towards the train station.

For several minutes they did so in silence and though YN seemed calm it was clear that she was fighting something off. Something she didn’t want to talk about or at least that’s what she told herself until Yoongi spoke up.

“You can scream if you want,” he said.

That made her pause and then laugh loudly. It brought on looks from the few people lingering about late at night, but she didn’t care at all. One would’ve thought she was laughing at the idea of screaming to release her feelings, but it was more so that screaming is what Johnny had her do when the incident happened years before. He got her drunk, took her to the top of a building and they screamed until she was a laughing mess on the ground. He’d had to carry her home after.

“I wish that was the fix for this. Hell, I wish I didn’t have such a strong reaction to him after all this time.”

Again, silence filled the space as they began walking away and neither of them spoke again until they were seated in a half-deserted train car. Yoongi took that as the perfect moment to bump her shoulder to get her attention and it worked.

“You could tell me about it. You don’t have to of course, but it could help the feelings a bit,” he offered.

At that YN sighed and her eyes closed. A lot of her screamed to let it die so she didn’t have to deal with the emotions again, but a smaller voice reminded her that the feelings would always be there and she probably only felt so intensely because she’d been forced to endure them in front of someone who didn’t know what happened. If it had been Johnny or her by herself she’d be better about it. And she had to remind herself she trusted Yoongi a whole lot, so telling him wasn’t the end of the world by any means.

Once she’d made peace with her choice her eyes opened and she turned so her back leaned against the small wall blocking her seat from the door. She knew that if she told him it had to be while looking at him.

“As you may know I have an ex that Johnny loathes with his entire being. I’m sure you remember that drunk rant that he gave the first month of you working there,” she paused to see his response and once he nodded she continued. “Well, I know he went on and on about planning to beat up all the people who’d ever hurt me, so there were a lot on that list. Anyway, he got to talking about an old friend before he ran to the bathroom to throw up. That friend was Hyungwon or my new co-owner, I don’t think I told you his name. But yeah, he was my best friend. Like that friend I made the moment I came to orientation and looked every bit of the confused foreigner I was. We clicked and he felt like the best friend I’d made in my entire life. Even helped me figure out how to work up the nerve to talk to my ex to ask him out.”

YN sighed and used her hand to push back a few loose curls that had slipped from her bun. The voice telling her to shut up got louder and she knew if she wanted to stop she could, but something about the attentive look on Yoongi’s face stopped her.

“In our senior year things were beyond stressful. He was dealing with family business stuff and his father has always been a difficult man. While I was dealing with trying to find a job so I could keep a visa and stay in the country, while also trying to graduate. We barely saw each other and I barely saw my boyfriend either despite usually sleeping at his every night. I decided to change that one night, I messaged Hyungwon to schedule a hang out and he agreed. Then I grabbed some food and snacks and headed to my boyfriend’s. I was at most an hour earlier than when I said I’d be coming, something not out of the norm for me and it wasn’t like he didn’t know.

“It was so quiet that I assumed he was asleep. I made sure to keep quiet as I settled in and then creeped towards the bedroom. However, I didn’t make it there, because while a few feet away the door swung open and I was met with him in his boxers and a disheveled Hyungwon. They didn’t notice me right away or at least I like to think so since they started making out and didn’t stop until I cleared my throat. The expressions of shock at that point are barely a memory because I’d started to tear up and just turn and left. They both attempted to reach out, but obviously I shut them down.”

After she finished Yoongi’s expression shifted to shock and then anger.

“And yet he acted like he was superior and has nothing to be sorry for when he came in today. What kind of bullshit is that? He should at least appear apologetic,” he said.

YN went to answer, but they were at her stop so she waited until they were off the train and up the steps.

“Hyungwon’s default expression is resting bitch face, especially when trying to hide some sort of emotion behind it. And he will lay it on thick. But he also is likely to force that and a haughty demeanor because he just does. It’s a defense mechanism, especially when he feels wronged in some way. He turned it on me a week after it was clear I wasn’t forgiving him. He’d prefer to be the one who is uncaring, then to endure too much emotion. No matter if he’s the cause of it.”

“What kind of fucked up shit is that? He messed up, not you. You had every right to refuse to deal with him or forgive him,” Yoongi said.

YN shrugged. “To a degree it’s a defense mechanism that I understand even if I don’t agree, but sometimes it does make him more of a douche than he’s going for. But it is what it is.”

They walked the short distance to her apartment in silence and YN couldn’t help but realize how much better she felt. It didn’t fix everything, but it helped more than she thought it would. Johnny usually was the one to get her calm enough to process the rest and she knew that once she told him the news he’d help her overcome the lingering emotions more, but with the chance to vent to the two people she trusted the most it was different.

Once they reached her apartment she turned and pulled Yoongi into a hug. He went stiff for a second before he hugged her back.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“No problem,” he said in return.

She held him for a few seconds longer after that and then let go, gently nudged him towards the cab that pulled up at the most convenient time out of nowhere. Or at least she tried to pretend she didn’t order it when he wasn’t paying attention, but just like every other time she did it he saw through her.

They waved at each other and she went inside once the cab pulled off. On the elevator up she couldn’t stop the smile on her lips. Her brain had halted its existential crisis and focused on the memory of Yoongi’s own smile as the car departed. It was beyond cute and she’d told him that when she’d first saw him do it, but what she felt in the elevator was different. There was an all-consuming happiness and a weird feeling in her stomach as she thought of it then.

The smile didn’t leave until she was sitting at the table with Johnny eating fried chicken too late at night and telling him what happened. He ranted and raved, even made a few threats, which brought the feeling back again, but that time directed at her roommate.

Weeks passed, and though YN hated the arrangement for multiple reasons she got used to it. Hyungwon didn’t try to implement any major changes and most of what he did was stuff she’d planned to do months later when they had more than enough funds for it.

Though there was one thing she’d agreed to that came with some regret. Or at least regret is what filled her as she had to endure a couple who didn’t understand distance and chose to sit at the bar.

The moment they strolled in, clinging to each other, they’d made a beeline for her side of the bar and told her how they’d seen the bar mentioned on the account of some popular new actor and then promptly shoved a phone in her face to show her. All it took was a single glance to know that she’d never seen that man in the bar before and the picture had been taken around a time they weren’t open. He was sitting on the bar’s balcony with a drink in hand and you could see people enjoying themselves behind him, but they appeared to focus on appearing in the right angle of the picture for it not to be fully staged. Which meant it was Hyungwon’s doing.

YN agreed to allow him to expand social media reach because though she did it, sometimes it wasn’t the best that it could be. However, their definitions of expansion differed and about four celebrities that had never been there had posted about having such a good time at that bar. Something that brought in business, but also forced YN and her staff to lie when asked by customers. And customers asked a whole lot when they came in, needing every detail down to what the celeb smelled like.

It was annoying but arguing about it with Hyungwon ended up with her just conceding in annoyance every time. Despite the nuisance of it, she truly didn’t have it in her to keep the back and forth with him on the subject. Doing it just didn’t prove to be worth it.

So, she and everyone endured the nonsense. Though as she watched the couple get increasingly touchier she almost stormed off into the back office to put a stop to it once and for all. In fact, she’d turned to tell Yoongi that she was going to step away but was distracted in a second.

“YN!” Johnny shouted as he approached the bar.

From the moment she laid her eyes on her best friend she noticed the offness. The giant stumbled a little while he walked and there was a slur to his words. His clothing was also a little less put together than usual and though not noticeable to most people it’s something she picked up on after years of enduring his quirks.

“Johnny, I thought you had a date,” she said.

That immediately made him frown at her. Of course, she guessed how well that had gone, but she knew that he preferred to explain to her about how bad it was, so she got the true dramatic effect. So instead of saying anything she allowed him to take up a seat at the bar and got him the coldest bottle of his favorite beer that she had. He took it happily and downed half of it before he began his story.

“She wanted me to be a third in her relationship. Brought the boyfriend and everything. Which we all know I’m fine with and my dating profile says that, but you warn a person beforehand. She said she was single and then boom, boyfriend suddenly.”

He paused and downed the rest of the bottle, which was quickly replaced with another by Yoongi who happened to be moving by. Johnny gave him a grateful nod and picked it up, but just held it.

“And that would also not be the worst thing in the world, but then the entire time the guy kept sizing me up and then asking the most sexually invasive questions. At one point he asked me how big my dick was and seemed ready to whip his out so that we could compare them. I had to drink to get through the entire thing and sped out of there the moment the bill for dinner was paid. Blocked her dating account, her social media, and number on the way here. Then had to block his number, because apparently blocking her wasn’t enough of a hint for them,” he said.

YN winced hearing that part, because she couldn’t imagine enduring something so awkward and then creepy as that. Nor could she imagine not understanding when someone wasn’t interested after such intensive blocking.

Pathetic was the word that came to mind.

“Well, I’m glad you escaped them. You get to drink that one and one more, then you switch to water. Also go back and heat up my lunch or have someone grab it for you, you need something else in you and I didn’t get around to eating it myself,” YN said.

That changed Johnny’s demeanor in an instant and he glared at her, but before he could scold her about not eating properly Hyungwon appeared.

“YN, if you’re not busy up here can you come back into the office to help me with something? It’ll only be a few minutes, I want to know I’m doing this right,” he said.

Johnny’s glare shifted from her to Hyungwon, but neither of them paid him any mind.

“Sure, I’ll be back there in a sec,” she said.

Hyungwon nodded and disappeared again. And though it was clear that Johnny had something to say YN ignored him, turning to tell Yoongi only to get shooed away before she could open her mouth. She shot him a quick thumbs up and then hustled back to the office.

“What’s up?” she asked as she closed the door behind her.

The moment Hyungwon had her close enough he pointed to the screen of their computer and started to explain how he’d tried to do something in the excel sheet for the month’s vendor expenses but something went wrong. He walked her through the whole process before she stepped in to show him what he’d done wrong for it to not to work. And then they went over some of the other sheets to ensure they were right, as well as some of the vendor request forms that needed to get done by that time the following week.

It was an easy conversation and though weeks before YN thought she’d still be awkward and apprehensive; she’d managed to find a good groove in dealing with Hyungwon as a business partner and ignoring the pain from the past. He was someone who put himself fully into his work, so it wasn’t hard to mesh with him on the subject. In fact, he got more work down in the weeks he’d been on board than Hyuk in the years he was YN’s partner. She never minded doing all of the work before, but she also would never deny that having some of the weight off her was refreshing. Even in situations where she had to double check and teach Hyungwon the ropes a few times.

When they were done she stood from her seat and stretched, her eyes meeting the clock to see she’d been back there for almost an hour.

“Is there anything else you need?” she asked.

Though Hyungwon shook his head at first, he stilled for a moment and then whipped around to look at her. The expression on his face startled her with its seriousness, his eyebrows furrowed and the frown on his lips was intense. There was also a glint in his eyes that she recalled from when he found out some not happy news and a part of her worried greatly about what he’d say.

“Actually. I would like to apologize,” he said.

That confused YN for a second because she’d still be in work mode, until she saw the way his body sagged and then it clicked in her head. Her hands went up in defense as she shook her head rapidly.

“You don-”

“Please let me talk?”

And though her whole body screamed to not let him continue she couldn’t find it in her to not let him get whatever it was off his chest. So, she took a deep breath and nodded so that he’d continue, she didn’t trust herself to say the right thing.

“I know I apologized then and I meant it, even if I did the thing where I pretended like it wasn’t my fault and that you should’ve forgiven me. I fucked up on so many levels and I didn’t mean to. I need you to know that it was never my intention, I just… I don’t know how to explain it. That night is a weird blur of sadness, drinking, and feeling someone wanted to be in my presence and cared about my feelings. I gave in for stupid and selfish reasons. He told me you’d broken up over a week before, but even then it wasn’t an okay thing to do. I know that. I knew when I agreed. I knew when it happened. And I knew the entire time after.

“I have no valid excuse for my betraying you like that. I just want you to know that I’m sorry. And I’m even more sorry that I’m messing with your dream. It wasn’t my intention at all. I swear to you I didn’t know you were the co-owner when the contract was signed. And I’d planned to back out after I found out, but it was too early in the contract for me to be able to sell it to you and I would’ve had to sell it back to him. And I’ve worked with Hyuk before, he will continue to fuck things up. And I guess I’m using a lot of words to say I’m sorry and I’m rambling, so again I’m truly sorry.”

By the end of his tangent YN was left confused and unsure. She could see the sincerity, something he’d never been able to fake, and she knew he felt sorry for his actions when it happened, but she didn’t know how to respond. There was nothing in her head that felt like an accurate response to what he’d said. Especially the apologies, because she’d forgiven him a year after the incident. Not in a whole ceremonious way of letting it go to move on, but she realized she moved one already. The hurt wasn’t gone and she knew if she saw him her reaction would not be positive, but she knew that if she did see him and he spoke to her she’d probably be willing to talk it through with him. Hell, she’d thought about it for half a second when he first stepped foot into the bar, but he’d chosen the snooty demeanor and she’d thrown it away in an instant.

All of that uncertainty must have been clear to Hyungwon, thankfully, because he cleared his throat to regain her attention and then smiled at her. A real smile. The first smile she’d seen on his face since the first time she’d seen him again.

“You don’t have to say anything right now. You don’t have to say anything ever really. We can act like I didn’t say anything at all and keep going how we’re going. I just wanted you to know that,” he said.

YN’s mind scrambled to find a response after that because it didn’t want to have said nothing, but she ended up nodding and walking out without saying a word. She’d made sure to keep her expression light and offered a small smile before she turned away so he didn’t think she was running from him or hated him.

With her mind going a mile a minute she stepped into the staff bathroom to use it and run a cold, wet paper towel across the back of her neck to help calm her down. When she got worked up she got hot and needed to be brought down before it spiraled. It only took five minutes before she felt ready to head back out to the bar, though she wasn’t completely herself as she went.

A large part of her wanted to go back and yell at Hyungwon and then have a heart to heart, but she willed herself to keep moving forward.

However, when she reached the end of the hall she wished she’d done that. People seated at the bar had left and moved elsewhere, which made it easy for her to spot Johnny nursing a glass of water. He looked ready to drink it, but something else had his attention. Someone else.

Yoongi was standing directly in front of him, body bent over so that his arms rested on the bar between them. He wore a wide smile and reached over to poke Johnny’s cheek as they laughed together.

They were so close to each other and so comfortable, that it was almost romantic. Then with bated breath YN watched as Johnny ran his hand through his hair and winked at Yoongi, something he only ever did when he was flirting. A quirk that she’d pointed out to him once that he’d never noticed he did. But that wasn’t what made her stomach churn, it was the light blush that coated Yoongi’s cheeks as he punched Johnny’s arm.

Both men were flirting with each other and by their expressions it was far from the playful kind they’d done once when some girl kept hitting on Yoongi and wouldn’t understand no until Johnny stepped in as his “boyfriend.” Oh no, their flirting was real and natural.

And YN didn’t know which one it hurt more seeing do it.

At least once a month there was an event held at the bar and so YN wouldn’t open it to the general public. And by some miracle one fell on a Sunday and was during midafternoon, which meant she didn’t have work the next day and they wouldn’t be open late into the night. Both things were something she needed after over a week of feeling at her lowest.

The down feeling wasn’t new by any means, but it didn’t make it easier. Nor did her avoidance of Johnny, who usually knew the right things to say to get her out of a funk.

It was a consequence of her avoiding her roommate.

After she’d seen his interactions with Yoongi at the club she’d gotten over things pretty quickly, but they didn’t stop there. Though both males had talked before their communication ramped up. They were texting often and sometimes even video chatting. Along with that came an increase of them hanging out. On one free day YN had swung by to bring Johnny food at his shop, but when she appeared Yoongi was already there and they were eating. Of course, they invited her to join and she did, but it hadn’t been fun for her. Which was how she described all her hang outs with them. It was the constant third wheel kind of feeling and seeing as she had no time to adjust to her realization of feelings for both of them, she definitely didn’t have time to adjust to them possibly getting together.

All of it was too much at once and only aided along the low she felt. Which meant she turned to avoiding them when she could. Some things were changing for the club and that meant she had a built-in excuse to be busy. That coupled with her clearly being down meant that they left her be when she said she wanted to venture out alone or with other friends. And they definitely didn’t stop her if she just said she wanted to lay in bed all day and be left alone. She’d ensured that she did it a normal amount so not to alarm them and it worked for her.

Well, only worked in the matters of not being forced to third wheel. Though the times they hung out in the apartment while she locked herself in her room didn’t do much for her whole, dealing with feelings plan.

Not that she dealt with them well when not around them.

However, the day of the event she saw the light at the end of the tunnel for her funk. YN woke up feeling on top of the world and everything ran so smoothly from then on. They’d set up, received the guests, and kept the event running without incident. Minus the very drunk man who got weirdly passionate about telling the story about how the wine he was drinking was made and then proceeded to spill it.

Hell, even seeing how Hyungwon and his boyfriend mingled without issue brought her some sort of joy. And that joy was how her brain drowned out the voice that told her that Hyungwon’s boyfriend seemed familiar and not in the good way. Something that would have persisted if not for Johnny having approached her.

“Isn’t that the guy who showed up to that weeklong dating event with a different person each time?” he asked YN.

That was all it took for her brain to kick into gear and her head whipped over to look where Hyungwon stood with him. It took a single second to see his face and then recall all the times he’d come in with people and sometimes left with someone else. Or at the very least flirted with others, slipping people, including YN, his number while his date was preoccupied. He’d made her uncomfortable.

Those things weren’t cool and alone were enough to alarm YN, but that wasn’t the issue she found herself focused on when she stared him down. No, the problem was that when Hyungwon had appeared at the bar and introduced his boyfriend he’d spoken of how they’d been together for almost two years. That series of events had happened only two months before he became her co-owner. Meaning the man was a worse cheater than she’d thought he was.

“Oh, fuck me,” she groaned.

“Yeah,” Johnny said.

Though YN avoided eye contact with him most days the tone of his voice made her finally meet his gaze and it wasn’t comforting. In fact, he appeared a bit uncomfortable and unsure of how to react to the situation. She thought it was because of what happened, but then she glanced down to his hand and saw a business card in it. It showed Hyungwon’s boyfriend’s name and work info, but with a quick flip YN saw another number scribbled on back along with something about calling for a good time.

The man held no shame. Hitting on people with his longtime boyfriend present and the photographer of the event no less. Someone they’d hired to work it and would report back to them for how everything went. Truly the worst possible person because despite the possibility of lack of moral compass, the odds weren’t that great that he wouldn’t tell the person who hired him what transpired with their boyfriend.

A headache from it all was an understatement for what YN felt about it. But she knew what she had to do despite it all.

“Just…” she trailed off, taking the card from him and slipping it in her pocket. “Just don’t talk to him about it. I’ll bring it up when we wrap up for the night. It’s better I do it.”

“Are you sure?”

She wasn’t but nodded anyway.

Johnny didn’t believe her, but when she shooed him away to continue taking the photos he went without much hesitation.

From there she just worked to get through the last two hours of the event. She kept the bar going and even took a turn as a waitress when things got a little hectic since she hadn’t thought she’d need many staff on hand for something not that big.

Naturally, she hoped that it all was enough to keep her mind preoccupied, but that wasn’t the case. Any time she wasn’t focused, even for a second, her brain thought about it. And it was worse whenever she glanced up to see the both of them together as if one of them wasn’t a horrible human being. So much of her hated the idea of Hyungwon being hurt like that, even with their own past. No one deserved that. Plus, they’d made a lot of progress since he’d made that apology and YN had started to feel good around him. Like she actively wanted to be there. They’d even eaten lunch together a few times.

By the time everyone had cleared out and the staff was almost ready to go she snapped out of her own thoughts of dread to pull Hyungwon to the side. She said something about something she needed him to look over before he left for the night and he followed her to the office without hesitation. Which was good for her nerves, but not enough to quail the new set of anxiety that hit when his boyfriend said he’d wait and sat down at one of the tables. She would’ve preferred if he’d not been there to be confronted in her presence, but she didn’t have the luxury, so she pushed through.

When they entered the office she took a deep breath and turned to face Hyungwon, who appeared a bit startled and she assumed her expression aptly portrayed the discomfort and nerves she felt.

“I could prolong this because that’s totally what I want to do, because this makes me extremely uncomfortable, but I feel like you need to know. Your boyfriend has been here before. And not like just a random patron, but a person coming here on dates with people. Even attended a few events with a date in the last three months or so. And for the most part they’re always different people. And to make matters worse he’s always flirting with someone else when his date is away or even right in front of them. He’s hit on multiple staff members before, including me. Also, he slipped Johnny his card, with his personal number and a… flirtatious message on it.”

YN spoke so quickly she wasn’t sure he understood her, so the frown that appeared on his lips was what she used to indicate she could continue going. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the card, but before she could hold it up for him to see or hand it to him his hand was on her wrist.

Startled, she looked up to see the frown had left his face and he’d gone for a much more neutral expression, though his eyes held fire behind them. It almost made her flinch.

Hyungwon scoffed. “I didn’t think you’d stoop to this. He’d never even heard of this bar before I told him I was going to become a co-owner nor would he have the time to do that. Also, what could possibly be the problem with coming here with other people if he did. He can bring friends to events or out for a night of partying. My goodness YN why would you even try to spew such false info-”

Before he could finish, YN put a hand over his mouth. That confused him but didn’t stop the way he looked at her. And that only made her angrier.

She’d listened to his little rant about how she was wrong and hoped that he would change course. Hoped that the way his tone wavered every now and then was indication of him not believing his own words, but he kept going. If she hadn’t stopped him YN was sure he’d descended into words much less passive in calling her liar and into much more hurtful talk. And with the way she felt she couldn’t endure that. She refused to be hurt by him when all she wanted to do was help.

“I would never make up something like that. And I am not as stupid as to think people hanging out in a bar or doing the bare minimum of hugging is cause to deem them together. Nor would I sit here and make up being uncomfortably flirted with and Johnny getting his number and a not so ‘I want to be friends’ note from him. Something I was just going to show you. But that doesn’t matter to you apparently. Because someone who's been harmed by something as bad as cheating would totally make that up for shits and giggles or for some sort of revenge. Because I of all people who has let much worse slide would do that, right? Don’t believe me, that’s fucking fine. Live your life thinking I’d lie about that or misunderstand. But if you want to pull your head out of your ass you can look at this card, you can look at the files on the computer to see pictures from events, you can check the bar’s website and social media for the pictures too. Hell, go ask Johnny for them. He has more than he gave up and with the way he was making out with most of them I’m sure he has something to show that.”

After that YN didn’t wait for a reply, she simply turned on her heel, grabbed her bag, and stormed out of the room. She went out front so she could tell her manager to finish locking up and tell Johnny she wanted to leave, but when she got out there she saw something that made her feel even worse.

Johnny and Yoongi were standing across from each other at the bar laughing and being all touchy. It wasn’t the worst thing ever, but then they leaned in close enough that they looked ready to kiss until Yoongi happened to notice YN and turned to look at her. His smile dropped and he stepped away, moving to get from behind the bar but she didn’t stay put.

YN all but sprinted out of the building with three voices calling out to her. And she didn’t stop until she was in a taxi, sobbing and asking to be taken to some bar that was far away from her own business and home so they wouldn’t stumble upon her.

From then on time moved in a way that she couldn’t comprehend. She reached the bar and immediately muted her ringer to avoid calls or texts. And once inside she greeted the bartender she was familiar with and asked for a drink. Something she did until she was so drunk that she just barely was cognizant of what was happening around her. Of course, she wanted more, but she needed to be responsible despite all the things that had crumbled right in front of her.

“I called you a taxi, it’s out front. Go home YN,” JB, the bartender, said.

Though part of her wanted to say no she simply nodded, paid, and headed out to the taxi that waited for her. She managed to walk normally until she reached the taxi where she stumbled a bit and had to be helped inside. Once she and her driver were in their seats she slurred her words and told him her address. He grunted and they were off.

The whole drive her brain kept trying to figure out how’d she’d deal with Johnny when she got home or Yoongi when she had to work. Her brain was so hazy that she couldn’t form full ideas for Johnny, but decided she’d just have someone else take her shifts with Yoongi. That answer made her so proud that she smiled and patted herself on the back.

However, the back patting stopped when the driver stopped and she got out, only to realize he’d dropped her a few blocks from her apartment. He’d driven off by then and she felt slightly more sober, so she started her trek home. There was some tripping over her own feet and stopping when her vision blurred but she did okay.

Ten minutes in though she felt her stomach drop as she heard a voice.

“YN? Got damnit, YN where have you been?” Yoongi called out.

Though she heard him clear as day she continued walking without even a glance backwards. She even put a pep in her step, though that was less about avoiding him and more about being miffed about the use of her full first name.

“YN, could you stop,” he said.

She continued ignoring him. Even when she stopped to put in the code to her building, when she stopped to wait for the elevator, and when both of them stood in the small space together. Yoongi was displeased, but he didn’t force anything simply followed behind her.

He tried to speak again once they entered the apartment, but he wasn’t the only one.

“Can you just answer m....”

“Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been calli...” Johnny started

Regardless of their concerns she continued to ignore them both, even tuning out what they had to say as she kicked off her shoes and deposited her bag on one of the hooks near the door. The plan was to walk past them and into her room where she would pass out, but as she made her first step she tripped over a box that she hadn’t seen.

Thankfully, they caught her and got her standing and steady. She muttered a quick thank you and then looked at what had been her undoing, only to see a box she’d asked Johnny to move multiple times.

That surely brought up some anger as her head whipped up so she could glare at him.

“Why can’t you just listen to what I say? Or better yet understand that there is an issue? That all signs point to a fucking problem if you do something like that? Why? I’ve almost hurt myself like ten times already and you have yet to move it!”

Johnny’s own anger subsided a little and he appeared sheepish for a second, mumbling an apology and moving the box out of the way. He turned to her after, but she didn’t want to hear whatever he had to say or talk about, so she attempted to storm off to her room as planned. Attempting was key in that, because the moment the foot that hit the box touched down on its own she cried out in pain.

“Fuck,” Johnny said as he caught her and held her up.

“Stupid fucking box!” she screamed.

“Oh, fuck. What can we do? How can we help?” a panicked Yoongi asked.

YN cursed a few more times as the throbbing settled in.

“Just take me to my room. I just want to sleep and not deal with this shit.”

Both men nodded and helped her to her room, carefully placing her down on the bed. From there she slipped off her jeans - she had leggings on underneath - and shrugged off her heavy sweater so she only had her sports bra on. After she got comfortable in the bed, using a pillow to put under her throbbing ankle and threw a bonnet over her hair, thankful to be wearing it braided.

As she got comfortable and prepared to sleep she realized that neither of them had left and when she prepared to tell them to both men crawled into the bed with her, getting on either side.

“What are you do-”

She wasn’t allowed to finish though because Johnny cut her off.

“Can we just stay? We know we stressed you out in the last few minutes and we feel like shit. It would make us feel better and if you say no, we’ll just sit on the floor or outside your door.”

Yoongi nodded. “We’d just feel better closer.”

Though she opened her mouth to argue she found that with the pain in her ankle and the alcohol wearing off she was too tired for it. So, she said nothing and closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around herself and laying completely still until she fell asleep.

Or mostly fell asleep. With the two of them in her bed so close and radiating so much body heat she found it hard to slip completely. Not that either of them could tell that she wasn't asleep.

"It has to be more than the Hyungwon situation. I think I know what it is and that means we need to tell her soon,” Yoongi whispered.

"Wait. What? We have everything set for a week. Can it not wait?"

"Have you seen how she's been acting lately? She's pulling away from both of us and a week gives her more time to put more distance. We won't have a chance to come clean by then or even get a proper conversation in about it. She'll just think it's pity or not feel enough to care."

"Okay, tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, it's an off day and she's ahead of all her work, so even if she goes in it'll be fine."

Silence followed that and then soft snores.

Their words confused her, but she also felt her stomach drop as she imagined them saying they were together or any other thing that would make her distressed. Her mind couldn’t stop thinking of possibilities and she finally knocked out as a way to avoid the overthinking.

When she woke up it was around three in the morning and it was because she was overheated. Confusion filled YN as she couldn’t figure out the problem, only to open her eyes and see both men cuddled into her from either side. Everything came rushing back to her at once, but she was still tired enough that she prepared to ignore it and go back to sleep.

Until she noticed their hands intertwined over her body. Nausea hit fast and before she knew it, she slipped from the bed and exited the room. It was the only time she was happy that either of them were heavy sleepers.

She limped from her room and went to Johnny’s. She created a similar set up for her ankle and pushing down all negative thoughts she cuddled into one of his plushies and went to sleep. Though not nearly fast enough to stop the tears.

The day after chaos reigned, YN woke up surprisingly early but didn’t dare leave Johnny’s bed. She waited in the dark in silence until she heard Yoongi leave and then slipped into her room as Johnny was in the kitchen making coffee. She’d barely made it in without him catching her, but once she was inside and the door was locked, him knowing didn’t matter.

From then on she tried not to think about anything that occurred and just got undressed and into the shower. The focus was on getting clean and hoping that that hot water would help along her still sore ankle; resting it through the night had been enough to keep it from getting too bad and it hadn’t swollen.

After she was cleaned she made quick work of getting dressed and taking down her hair, allowing her twist out to take full form. It needed a little sprucing up and then she was done. Ready to tackle the day.

Though she didn’t know how.

Every few seconds her brain focused on the sounds of Johnny moving around the apartment. Mostly because he wasn’t in his room, but out in the living room near her door which meant that he awaited her exit. She hoped that he would leave and she would have an opening to slip out and avoid him a little longer, but she knew he was stubborn and didn’t have to work that day so he had all the time in the world.

Since grabbing her stuff and escaping wasn’t a perfect plan she was forced to sit on her bed and think out other ones. There was the obvious choice of talking to him, but with all that went on her head she didn’t want that. Plus, she wanted to be a punk for a while and not deal with whatever it was him and Yoongi planned to tell her. That left things like stay in her room all day, exit via the fire escape and come through the front to grab her bag and shoes, or just go out of her door and walk past him. Staying in her room would drive her up the wall and the fire escape on the building was not the best and she’d have to jump a foot or two to get off it, something that would agitate her ankle.

That meant that she had to walk past him, which meant she needed an excuse. She sat there thinking for a while until she remembered something important she’d put off and planned to do after the event. Something that was important to keep her business running and that she told Johnny about.

It was perfect.

So, after taking a deep breath she stood from her bed and exited her room with some faux confidence and a whole lot of fake indifference.

The moment she was in sight Johnny stopped his movement. He looked ready to move closer to her but seemed to think better of it. Something she was thankful for since she didn’t know if she could get away from him if he was close enough to stop her. He wouldn’t hurt her and would let her go if she asked but being stopped messed with the whole flow of things for her.

YN didn’t linger too long on what he was doing and just walked to the front door and slipped on her shoes. She then grabbed her bag and made sure her wallet and phone were there before her hand touched the door to open it.

And that’s when Johnny spoke up.

“Do you want to talk about what happened? I feel like we should talk about it. Among other things,” he said.

For a second that made YN freeze, but she recovered rather quickly. Maintaining her “indifference” she turned to look at his face for the first time since she walked out and shrugged.

“Maybe later. Don’t really feel like dealing with anything besides spreadsheets and those tax forms I need to get out by tonight,” she said.

Though Johnny still appeared prepared to push he seemed to resign himself when she said tax forms. As an owner of his own business he knew that was important and it took her awhile to get everything ready for her accountant. Which meant he simply collapsed onto the couch and nodded.

With that small victory YN opened the door and walked out. Part of her said she should at least say bye or when she’d be back, but she knew talking to him longer would’ve made it harder for her. She’d nearly cracked when she saw the worry and sadness etched into his face.

Time is what she needed.

No one foresaw five days of it to go by though. Not even YN.

After she’d bypassed Johnny she’d genuinely ended up too busy to have the energy for any sort of conversation. Mountains of paperwork hit and there were issues left and right. Even when she was in Johnny, Yoongi, or Hyungwon’s presence it was so work related that they didn’t even attempt to talk about anything else or ask her to speak later.

Even at home she was left alone, especially because she’d fallen asleep while responding to Johnny about what to order for dinner one night.

Friday night was when things slowed down and she took her usual shift bartending. It was a packed night because they were handling an event that they themselves were running to get more business. Which meant that most of the staff worked, as well as Hyungwon and Johnny who was hired to take pictures to go up on social media and their website.

It put YN right in the middle of all of them and it was uncomfortable, but she kept strong. Well, she committed to giving them the silent treatment unless it was about work. And it worked out pretty well for her, she managed to get through most of her shift without giving into any attempts to talk or pull her to the side.

The non-plan gave way for reasons she couldn't foresee though.

While she left to the backroom to grab more tequila she was trailed by Hyungwon, who’d tried to get her alone the moment she’d come to work that day. He was begging for a moment of her time even as they made their way back towards the bar, but she held strong. Something she regretted the moment she passed the bottles to Yoongi so he could prep drinks and then turned to see someone she didn’t want to.

Her ex, Jisoo, stood right in front of her bar with a few friend’s laughing it up. None of them noticed her for the first several seconds, which she was thankful for, but it didn’t last long enough for her to fully pull herself together. When Jisoo turned to request a drink he was met with a clearly shocked YN.

Jisoo appeared surprised as well, but he pushed that aside to smirk at her with a quickness.

“YN, I didn’t know you worked here. I just got back into the country and this was the first place my friends recommended. Small world. Oh, Hyungwon… what a surprise to see you here too,” Jisoo said.

That snapped YN out of it and she turned to see Hyungwon glaring at the male, his hand in a fist as he stared him down. For a moment she was reminded of the past as she looked at him. The pain rose up for a second and she felt sick having them in the same place, but she pushed it down. Despite their falling out they’d done well since reconnecting and she was mostly past it all, even close to asking him to hang out like a friend. Allowing a piece of shit ruin that wasn’t okay.

Never again would she allow Jisoo to ruin things for her.

With that spark of anger and confidence she turned to stare down Jisoo herself. She noticed Yoongi closer than before and Johnny standing behind the little group ready to pounce, but she waved them off. YN needed it to be her who went off.

“I own this bar and Hyungwon here is my co-owner, so naturally we would be here,” she said.

For a second Jisoo was knocked off his game, but it wasn’t long before he bounced back. He was like Hyungwon that way and YN hated it.

“Oh? I thought you two were no longer on speaking terms?” he said.

“Well, clearly what you thought was wrong,” Hyungwon chimed in.

Hyungwon’s words elicited a laugh from Jisoo for some reason and it made YN uneasy, but she held her ground. No matter what he threw she knew she could take it. There was no way she’d allow him to see her hurt or crying.

Jisoo shrugged. “I guess so. You’re still with Ji-ah though, right YN? Last I heard you and her hit it off.”

That was the thing to force a humorless laugh from her lips. Only Jisoo would mention her other ex whom he knew she’d broken up with a while ago when she’d moved to take a job at a company out of the country. A company that Jisoo worked at, at that.

Of course, he had to be a trash human in more aspects than one.

“No, but you know that. Since you hit on her, took her on a few dates, slept with her and then told her how you knew me. That's why you asked her out in the first place. You remember that, right? Oh, and you have to remember how she told your job that and so they demoted you, plus moved you to a different branch,” YN said.

And at last the smirk left his face. While pleased by that, YN didn’t ignore the way he tensed and the anger that covered every inch of his expression.

“I feel like you’re the one who should remember. Like remember how you cried when you saw us together. The hurt on your face as I kissed hi-”

Before he could speak anymore Hyungwon almost punched him in the face. If it wasn’t for YN hip checking him and thus making him stumble he would’ve made impact on Jisoo’s right cheek.

Once Hyungwon was settled and being held back by a staff member YN’s attention focused solely on Jisoo.

“I don’t want you or your friend’s here. Ever. So, I’m going to ask you to leave. There will be no argument. No putting up a fight. No asking to be given another chance. You will leave and never return, am I understood?” she said calmly.

Naturally, Jisoo opened his mouth to reply but YN cut him off by whistling. Within seconds two security guards were at the bar and Jisoo’s friends dragged him towards the exit. It was clear that he wanted to say or do something, but he left without much issue and after that YN could breathe.

However, breathing meant that it all came crashing down on her and the next thing she knew she ran to the office with tears streaming down her face.

The intention was to get in there alone and ride out whatever wave of emotion hit until she could pull it together and go back to work like nothing happened. Of course, that meant that the first part didn’t happen.

Hyungwon had followed behind her and slipped in before she could fully close the door. Though it bothered a part of her she didn’t have it in her to say anything or react. She did have the energy to cry harder though, her attempt at silent tears only lasting seconds before sobs wracked her body.

In her head all she could think about is what happened all those years ago. Except the pain she felt was amplified. YN knew it wasn’t because of that or at least the feeling wasn’t solely because of that. No, because after reliving that in her head her brain brought up every other failed relationship and honestly all the failures in her life. It didn’t stop playing the flashbacks until it reached the more recent things to fuck up her life plans and the uncertain romantic feelings she had to endure.

It was all too much, especially when it came at her all at once.

She ended up so in her own head that she didn’t feel Hyungwon pull her into his arms and hold her close. Didn’t hear the apologies and words of reassurance. Didn’t hear the curses about her ex. Didn’t even feel when he moved them from standing to sitting in a chair, her on his lap with her face in his neck.

And time passed so swiftly that she couldn’t tell how long they’d been like that once she’d come back to. But it didn’t matter because it heightened her embarrassment of what had occurred and she attempted to escape him, only to be held in place by bony fingers.

Once she stopped fighting Hyungwon removed one of his hands and used it to lift her chin, forcing her to look at him.

“Your crying is valid and don’t you dare think otherwise. None of that embarrassed or frustrated bullshit because you deserve to be able to release all that,” Hyungwon said.

Even after years apart he still knew her reactions to being overwhelmed through and through, and in that moment she was eternally grateful.

With a nod from her he didn’t stop there.

“That was unexpected and I’m sorry he was here. I forgot how horrible he could be and then he’s just gotten worse over time. You’d think someone would stop playing those games and trying to mess with people’s mental and emotional stability, but alas here he is. I think his company was planning to do an event here, I’ll tell them we’re canceling it and that he’s the reason. Might even throw in some security footage for good measure.”

YN opened her mouth to object, but Hyungwon gave her a look that shut her up.

“Besides that, and I know this is a horrible time, I want to apologize. The way I acted a week ago was uncalled for. When you said it, I believed you I really did. It was just something that wanted to deny that he would. Not necessarily for my own feelings, though they did come into play. But also, because he’s the one who came to me. I had no interest in him whatsoever, but he was persistent in a way that wasn’t creepy and I thought who would work that hard to just throw it away. Especially when they’d been the one to bring up the subject of marriage recently.

“So, I went on the defense and instead of just checking what you had to say or denying it and moving on I went to the worst possible conclusion. Said things I didn’t believe even as they left my mouth. And thus, for the second time since meeting you hurt you in a way that wasn’t okay in the slightest. And I understand that you may not want to work towards friendship. I like to think we were close to getting back or wanting to deal with me. I just want to apologize because you deserve one and I know I was in the wrong.”

What neither of them expected, least of all YN, was her to start crying again. Her head dropped onto his shoulder and she felt her body shake again as she let it out. Though she could tell he was confused by the way his body tensed, he didn’t say anything and simply rubbed her back gently as she cried it out.

About five minutes later YN spoke.

“You’re a fucking idiot and an asshole.”

Hyungwon laughed. “True. But you know what happened when you tried to get me to be nicer for that month. If we’re being honest you made me worse.”

YN laughed that time, remembering how Hyungwon spent every day being closely watched by her as he tried to not be snarky with people. By the end he’d given up and snapped on some annoying man that wouldn’t leave them be and she was sure she saw tears in his eyes as he ran away from the fuming Hyungwon.

He mellowed out after that, but when someone truly tried him he was a lot more than he used to be. YN marked that as a major fail and stuck to keeping him calm when he rightfully deserved to put someone in their place, which was oddly often at their school.

“Yeah, a mistake on my part. But at least I got you to start counting to ten before you unleashed yourself.”

“Ah yes, what a great help that is. Ten seconds longer of dealing with the idiots.”

They both laughed that time and when they pulled it together they talked. About everything in detail. Nothing was left off the table and by the end YN felt less weight on her shoulders.

By the time they were done about an hour and a half had gone by, meaning they’d been back in the room for over two hours and the bar was shutting down.

“I guess I should go help since I flaked on my shit at the end,” YN said as she got up from Hyungwon’s lap.

At first he nodded and got up too seemingly ready to follow her and the next he was giving her a look and grasping at her wrist.

“What?” she asked, confused.

“You need to talk to them.”

A groan escaped her immediately and her head tilted back as she blew out a puff of air.

“Nope. None of that. Talk to them. Tonight. And don’t be a stubborn brat and not let them finish what they have to say. I’m sure it would clear up a lot of things for her,” Hyungwon said.

There was no use in arguing because he would win and she knew he was right, even if she didn’t want to admit that to herself.

“Fine.”

And that was all it took for him to release her and take the lead on exiting the office. However, YN didn’t get the chance to leave right behind him. The moment Hyungwon was out, both Johnny and Yoongi stumbled in forcing her to take several steps back.

They both appeared nervous and disheveled, which helped calm YN for some reason. Though it didn’t get rid of all the feelings like she would’ve preferred.

“We need to talk. Now. We can’t keep putting it off,” Johnny blurted out.

If YN didn’t know how frazzled he got under pressure she’d be shocked by his actions, much like Yoongi who stared the man down eyes wide, but she’d known Johnny long enough to expect that kind of thing. What she was shocked about is how he didn’t dive into explaining right then and there.

Once she was sure he was done talking and that Yoongi had nothing to say she took over.

“We do need to talk. But it would be better not here. So, after we close up and at the apartment, yeah?”

That appeared to shock Yoongi more and Johnny too. They both probably assumed she’d be resistant or straight up tell them no. Things she debated on for half a second but couldn’t go through with.

“Okay,” they both said.

With that YN patted both of them on the shoulder and headed out to help.

About an hour after that everyone was done and headed out of the door. They said their goodbyes with the staff - and Hyungwon who hugged her while threatening what would happen if she didn’t give either man a chance to talk - then they got in a taxi to go back to the apartment.

Silence prevailed, which made YN awkward since she was sandwiched between them in the back seat, but she didn’t let it take over her. At least not too much. She held strong despite it and managed to make it out of the car and into the apartment without thinking of making a run for it.

The same couldn’t be said for either of the men though. YN hadn’t faced them until she was rid of her jacket and shoes and sat on the love seat, but the moment she did they froze. For a second they stared at each other both expressions unsure, but then they seemed to come to a consensus and finally fully entered the apartment, taking a seat on the couch.

Again, they were immersed in silence, but that only made things more tense.

“Go ahead,” she said.

Thankfully, they didn’t take long to react to that.

“We,” Yoongi started, pausing to look at Johnny before continuing. “We know we’ve done a horrible job at making things clear to you. We’ve been a little secretive and haven’t made the most effort in ensuring you were okay when we saw that something was off. It was a major fuck up on our part, one that could’ve prevented if I hadn’t been so stuck on keeping a certain timeline on how we should talk to you about this. And I’m starting to ramble when it was agreed upon that I would tell you so we could get straight to the point. And oh my fucking goodness, will I stop it already. Okay, basically we both want to date you.”

YN felt her entire body tense as confusion filled her.

“Excuse me?” she said.

That went unheard though.

“That’s not how we agreed you’d say it,” Johnny whined.

Yoongi scoffed. “It is. Well, not exactly but all the words I used were in the agreed upon statement.”

“Maybe, but you could have at least tried to eas-”

“Excuse me!” YN shouted.

That stopped Johnny and got both their attention.

“You don’t get to drop a bomb like that and then not elaborate. Especially to a very confused person whose last week has been trash. Explain yourselves.”

There was another silent moment of them staring at each other and then Yoongi gestured for Johnny to go ahead. Johnny rolled his eyes but turned his full attention to YN before speaking.

“What Yoongi said was true, we do both want to date you. But before you start to spiral and come up with your own conclusions let me fill in a few things. We’ve both known Yoongi for over a year now, you more than me. And he and I have always clicked despite how worried you were that he would slap me upside the head for being too friendly and getting in his space. It’s an easy kinda friendship we’ve had going, but then that day at the bar a few months ago we really clicked. I know we’ve been obvious about the attraction and it’s only built over time.

“The thing is we soon realized that both of us also feel something for you. Those feelings are from before we ever looked at each other that way and despite the growing feelings between us it was still there. Yoongi just about lost his shit when he realized and was very confused. And well, you know that most of my relationships have been poly, so it was nothing new for me. Though still kinda surprising because I thought I’d continue to live my life not acting on feelings for you I’ve felt for years.”

“I’m sorry what?” YN practically screamed.

The interruption earned her a glare which quieted her despite wanting an answer.

“As I was saying. I was planning to not act on them, but then suddenly someone else who I liked felt the same way for you as I did and it felt like a chance. That plus Hyungwon telling me I was an idiot for not realizing the crush you had on me before you got with dickwad back in college after he overheard me talking to Yoongi. But either way everything aligned and after I got Yoongi to accept that this was a viable option we started doing those group hangouts. To us they were test dates, but then we… well we…”

“We realized that we weren’t including you as much as we thought and could tell how third wheeling it felt,” Yoongi said.

Johnny nodded. “Yes, that. We failed to factor in as people who know each other, but don’t know each other and who are using those outings as dates we’d get caught up in each other. Which we realized but didn’t realize how bad until yet again Hyungwon overheard us. Told us we were idiots, because it was clear that you felt something for both of us and yet we were both going around acting like a couple in early days while dragging their friend who didn’t know we liked them around. And then we decided to fix things, but then the falling out with Hyungwon happened and nothing worked so we were unsure of what to do next besides maybe cornering you. So, yeah.”

With the way Johnny so abruptly ended that YN was left unsure of how to proceed. What had been said was a lot to take in. Not because it was wild or out of her comfort zone, but because despite feelings she’d had no time to process her own. She knew how she felt about them both, but she’d never allowed herself to linger on it too long to address how to handle things. And when she found herself finally admitting it things went to shit and she thought the only people she’d been interested in in years were on their way to dating each other without her ever having a real chance of seeing if either of them felt the same way.

Since YN hadn’t gotten that out of the way she definitely had no time to factor in any poly relationship. Like Johnny said she did know he was into it, but Yoongi wasn’t someone she knew well enough to know if he was down for that. He didn’t judge it, but not caring about how people lived their lives and actively participating were two different things.

Just the thought of having that conversation with him made her nervous despite it being more of what he would have done in the past and not in her present since she’d heard that he’d agreed with it. At least that’s what she thought they said. Her brain was frazzled.

“Hold on,” she finally said after minutes of silence. “So, I’m clear. You both want to date me and each other? You just failed to realize that you should’ve gotten to know each other better and go on dates alone, before trying to test out a poly relationship with me without my knowledge?”

“Yes,” Yoongi said while Johnny nodded.

Without warning pillows from the loveseat were in YN’s hands, she was standing, and said pillows were making contact with each male’s body.

“You. Two. Are. Fuckin. Idiots. How. Could. You. Not. Think. That. Through? What. Happened. To. Being. So. Got. Damn. Smart. Huh?”

Each word was spoken in time with the pillows swinging down on them. And though they squirmed they didn’t try to dodge or take them away from her. They let her keep going until she was satisfied.

Upon her clearly giving up her attack they both reach out and pull her down onto the couch so her body stretched out across them.

“Yes, we’re idiots. And we’re sorry about not thinking things through and telling you. But we’re idiots who are smitten with you and would like a chance to date you,” Johnny said, his hand moved to find the spot at the back of her head that she enjoyed being scratched. She didn’t even care that he was messing up her hair a little, just relaxed into the feeling.

“Ditto,” Yoongi said.

That drew glares from Johnny and YN, which he responded to by throwing his hands in the air in surrender.

“We are really sorry. And if you could let us date you, it would make me very happy,” he said.

His second response sated both of them and they relaxed back into their little moment. And as time ticked by they all grew more comfortable. There was more to talk about, but they cleared the space and it was clear they were all relieved. YN most of all.

Though she tried not to show it, YN felt giddy and wanted to giggle as she watched them both interact with each other and her. So much so that it slipped out when they both leaned over to press kisses to her cheeks. It seemed to amuse them, but she was so embarrassed she slipped away to change and scolded herself for the behavior. Not that she didn’t do it again when her mind replayed what happened.

They spent the rest of the night watching TV and eating food they’d ordered. It was peaceful and comfortable, so much so that they almost fell asleep on the couch.

Two in the morning rolled around before they all dragged feet to climb in Johnny’s bed and knock out. YN wanted to sleep on the outside of the bed, but ended up sandwiched between the both of them, not that she complained about it.

Once they were all comfortable they said their good nights and tried to sleep, but one adjustment by Johnny against her ass had YN slapping his arm.

“You cannot possibly be hard right now,” she whined.

Johnny pressed closer after that, grinding his dick against her ass more.

“You can’t possibly be calling me out on it right now as if it hasn’t happened before,” he mumbled.

“And both of you can’t possibly be having this conversation while I try to sleep. Go to bed before the next thing you’re both complaining about is how bruised and sore your asses are,” Yoongi chimed in.

Though it was meant as a means to shut them up all it did was elicit whimpers from both of them at the thought. That’s when Yoongi sat up and stared down at them and even in the dark they could see the smirk.

“Oh, you like that do you?”

They both nodded eagerly.

“Then strip.”

Neither of them had ever moved so fast in their lives and it was beyond worth it. Complaining was kept to a minimum the next day, but only because Yoongi took very good care of his babies and made sure to kiss their booboos all better.

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[ruakichan]

Self-vent ahead!

I hate being “a creative.”

I’ve been drawing for about thirty years, most of that in fandom, and it’s utterly, hopelessly de-motivating to see that nothing has actually come from all that time. (Is this my mid-life crisis lol?)  No improvement, no following, I couldn’t even make money off my work if I tried (still living off my savings right now, for those that are aware I quit my job during the rona shutdown), no sense of lingering pride or accomplishment when I manage to squash down the loathing enough to finish a piece. I’ve watched my artist friends rightfully gain traction and blossom, while I shrivel.

All those pretty little puff pieces you see about how “work hard to improve!” have absolutely no idea what it’s like to be in the stratum known as complete banal mediocrity. You hit a wall that no amount of “working hard” can overcome: the wall that separates the talented from the hacks.

And squished right against that wall are the mediocre: good but not good enough. Only noticed because maybe they fill some niche until someone better comes along. They throw themselves against that wall in hopes of overcoming it, but never look up to see how high it really is.

A bad artist will always improve. A mediocre one just suffers diminishing returns.

My best friend, with good intentions, got me a very nice Cintiq for Christmas. He spent a lot of money he really shouldn’t have. He’s a “creative” too, so he understood some of what I was going through, and thought this would cheer me up, give me a boost. Thought maybe it was my outdated tools (over a decade old) was holding me back.

I accepted it because he was very proud of his grand gesture, but I wish he didn’t. I feel obligated to use it, to draw, to be continually disappointed, to continue to disappoint others. And on the rare occasion I do something I am pleased with the final product of, I hate it so, so very much the next day, and the masses agree, as the reception is silent.

Being an artist inherently has a streak of exhibitionism: what you draw is a reflection of your thoughts and perception of the subject matter, and when you post it publicly, you are asking for validation of that image.  Being able to appeal to a broad spectrum of people is a talent on its own: any popular meme or illustration becomes that way because people go, “yes, I can relate!” in some fashion. Empathy is incredibly important in any creative work.

But when the reception is silent, it’s hard to tell where it is you failed: the subject matter? the appeal? the skill level? everything? Do I fail at connecting with people despite being able to do it very well IRL? Is my art style just that unattractive? Is it my skill level, flat and uninspiring?

I know what I hate about my work (everything), but I don’t know what causes others to recoil from it, except to maybe give a pitying glance over but not enough to go ‘yes, I can relate!” and share it with others. So I can only assume it’s for the same reasons why I hate it: everything.

Perhaps my loathing for my art comes through in the image, which in turn elicits a similar reaction in others. I feel ‘this is ugly’ and others pick up on that and react in kind.  There’s something to be said about how people can pick up on your body language and confidence in face-to-face conversation; perhaps this is the same with art. But what about the work I do that I’m proud of, which gets even less reception?

During the initial drawing process, I do very much love art. I do like the act of ‘creating.’ I’m happiest during this point; I like brainstorming or daydreaming, doodling and laughing at my own bad jokes. But the longer I stay with a piece of work, the more critically I look at it, and the more ashamed I am of wasting my time with something that no one can love, not even me. There’s a lot of work I just never finished; there’s a lot of work I just flat out deleted from existence. I’ve been trying not to do this; try to at least post something, finish something, acknowledge that even flawed things have merit, but holy hell, it gets so depressing seeing these malformed things out there in the wild, even if no one else sees them.

When I was first starting out, I didn’t have these sort of thoughts, eagerly, lovingly drawing, proud of every single doodle, sharing them with anyone that would cast a glance my way.  When you’re fresh and naive, you don’t realize how personal art is until you get rejected enough to start to become self-aware of your own flaws: like how children can be so unabashedly carefree while adults are acutely self-conscious.

Lately, I hate admitting I draw. I don’t like sharing my art freely. Even the brief moment I got validated—being a winner in some contest for some game—I immediately wished I could take that image away so people wouldn’t see it cause I threw it together to get the participation prize.  “This isn’t representative of what I can do!”  ... but maybe it is.  After all, it won, where others I labored over haven’t.

Social media definitely hasn’t helped in this day and age, where you’re aggressively bombarded with how well you succeeded or failed.  I shut down my Twitter for this reason; it was absolutely soul-crushing to see anything I do die in the ether, because I wasn’t good enough. All these followers, but no response?   It’s better just to hide them under the bed, than look at your own failures.

So now I spend a lot of time going “why bother” when it comes to creative endeavors as I try to come to some final acceptance of my own mediocrity.

Why bother?

The images are prettier in my head.  They don’t need to be realized because I can’t convey them in a worthy manner that people would want to see. If after nearly 3 decades, I haven’t been able to surmount that wall, I need to accept that this is the end of the road.

Why bother indeed? There are many more talented, able artists to provide beautiful works.  I want to freely consume them without thinking about where I failed.  I can only look at art in areas I don’t draw in; it’s the only way I don’t immediately want to break my own hands.

Anyway, long vent, but it’s been building up since I got that Cintiq. I don’t talk about this much because people hate hearing about it. They don’t want to see your anxieties.  You have to be *~strong~* and *~confident~* as an artist, and it’s “”””””cringe””””””” to have any doubts about yourself. They don’t want to see “I’m not happy with this, but here it is” attached to something you did. They call it “fishing for compliments,” without realizing there’s a lot of baggage attached to a lot of artwork that they, as the viewer, don’t see.

That when artists post art, they are literally putting themselves up on display. They wonder where they can improve in their work, they wonder about the reaction to their art.  These things don’t exist in a vacuum, independent of each other.  Art is inherently exhibitionist.

It’s why I’m the least suited for it, and I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self to go collect stamps or something. What a waste of a life.

#personal

[spi11edink]

Because I did a big dumb

Repost of the story from a prompt of @imagine-darksiders. I did, as the title says, a big dumb and was trying to delete a sideblog a while back and accidentally threw out my main. So, here you go. Imma do the first three parts here because I’m lazy and don’t wanna make three separate posts.

It was a normal morning, you had just gotten up from your bed and were preparing for the day ahead. You blearily rub your eyes as you descend the stairs to the main level of your house. Stifling a yawn, you make a pot of coffee and hope that the day wouldn’t be too taxing. After gathering the things to make your breakfast, the red light on the coffee pot flickers to life. You grab your favorite mug and, muffling another yawn into your pajama sleeve, pour yourself a cup of coffee. The warmth soaked into your palms as you add the necessary ingredients to the black liquid. You take a sip, feeling the caffeine rush through your system. It helped, if only slightly, to make you want to go to work. 

You had just sat down to eat your breakfast when a very disconcerting sound made its way to your ears. 

CRASH

You jump from your chair and nearly knock over the precious lifeblood in your mug. You grab the handle of the mug and rush outside, flinging open the door and scanning around. At first there was nothing wrong, but then your eyes landed on your car. The entire roof was caved in, but nothing around it told you just how it had happened. 

“Oh... dammit.” You mutter to yourself as you rush over to your one and only car. You place the mug of coffee on the hood and sigh to yourself, circling the car to see just what had happened. 

When you reached the other side of the vehicle you finally saw it. 

Or him, that is. 

A huge man is laying on the ground, arms and legs sprawled out in the gravel of your driveway. As you look closer, you realize that this is no normal man. Sparkling golden armor accented with creams and silvers encased his entire body, except for his head, which sported a nasty cut. You spotted a pair of beautiful white wings like those of a dove sprouting from his back, the only problem being that one of them was bent at a quite unnatural angle.

You glance at the coffee mug on the hood of the car and cautiously take another sip, wondering if you really should have stayed up that late last night. You cautiously make your way closer to the creature, kneeling down and setting your mug upon the ground. 

I really hope he isn’t dead. You thought as you placed two fingers on his neck, releasing a sigh of relief when you felt a pulse. You sigh. “I can’t just leave him out here. He’ll cook in that armor.” You shake your head, still not fully believing that the creature had actually crushed your car. Or actually existed. You take out your cell phone and call your work, saying that you wouldn’t be able to come in today. 

Cursing softly to yourself, you take a closer look at the creature’s face. He -you were assuming by looks alone- had dark skin and white hair. A short, neatly trimmed beard was on his chin and a scar marred the left side of his face. You couldn’t see his eyes as they were closed. His features were strong as if they had been carved from stone and, even though he was currently unconscious, you could feel an aura of power and authority emanating from him.  

You shrug to yourself and stand up, taking one of the man’s feet and tried to drag him into your house. You didn’t know what else to expect, but the guy was heavy. You huff and take a sip of coffee, hoping the caffeine would give you a boost. You grab the man’s foot again and grunt as he slides a few feet. You sigh. 

This was going to be a long day. 

When you finally get him into your house -wasting half of the air conditioning because it took a while- you flop onto the floor. 

“Why is it so damn hot at nine in the morning?!” You lamented, looking again at the man who was now sprawled across your floor. Wiping a bit of the sweat from your brow, you rise from the floor and place your fists on your hips. “May as well get him on the sofa so I don’t trip on him later.” You grumble and eventually drag the gargantuan man onto the -in comparison- tiny sofa. The furniture creaks its protest as you try to get most of the man onto the sofa. Well, his arm may be hanging off and his legs too, but you did pretty well if you do say so yourself. You sigh to yourself as you take the recliner on the other side of the room, wondering what you should do now that you have the day off. You eye the stranger and the cut on his head. “I may as well clean him up.” You go into your bathroom and rifle around until you find a first-aid kit. 

You take a cotton swab and uncap the small bottle of rubbing alcohol, shaking your head as you invert the container once. You kneel down in front of the sofa and dab at the cut until you deemed it clean. After letting the alcohol dry, you dig around for the Neosporin and a band-aid. You curse. You only had pink ones left in the container. 

“Suppose he’ll have to get over it then.” You shrug and put a dab of the antibiotics on the bandage before affixing it to the right side of his forehead. You look at the injured wing and place your hand on your chin. You work at a bird sanctuary over the weekends, so you have had plenty of experience with wings, but you wonder if his are different than the ones you have had to bandage over the years. Shrugging, you move to assess the damage. It was broken alright, and pretty badly too if you consider the angle it was at earlier. You pray he wouldn’t wake up while you were setting it because it would hurt like the dickens, but you were prepared. Thankfully, the man stayed unconscious and you aligned the bones with a rather sickening crunch. No matter how many times you had done that, the noise was no less unnerving. You wrap the wing as best as you could with the cheap bandages you had in the first aid kit and wonder if you should see if there was any other damage. Shrugging to yourself you pull up a chair to the sofa and begin to unclasp the armor. 

There were a few other cuts on his arms you patched up with the pink bandages, but nothing serious. You had placed the armor in a neat pile in the corner so you wouldn’t trip on it and were putting the first aid kit away when your phone buzzed. 

You took it from your back pocket and looked at the screen, your face going cold. 

It was from your parents. 

Be over at about five. Bringing cake for dessert. Love you, Mom and Dad.

“Shit, shit shiiiiit!” You whisper, your voice going up a few octaves in pure nervousness. “What the hell am I going to do?” You glance at the time. 4:30. “When the hell did it get so late?!” You scramble around your house, kicking yourself for forgetting that your parents were coming over that night for dinner. Even worse was that the rest of the family was coming over the next day for the fourth of July. They were going to watch the amazing fireworks show the town put on. You sprint outside, nearly falling down the front steps and tearing the keys from your pocket. Miraculously, your car started and you cursed to yourself as you drove it around to the back of your house, hiding it in the shed. You rocket back into your house where the man was still unconscious on your sofa. Thousands of things were running through your head. What were they going to say? What were they going to do? You didn’t know this man and here he was on your sofa?! You frantically pace back and forth in your living room, biting your nails and running your hands through your hair. Hide him maybe? But where? Your family goes wherever usually; they had small kids.You didn’t even notice that the man had woken up. You only noticed when he spoke. 

“Where am I?” 

You jumped at least a foot in the air when the voice met your ears. You whipped around to see the man scanning the room with inhumanly white eyes. You could barely make out his iris it was so light. You back up a good five feet when he sits up and his eyes land on you. Smiling nervously, you scratch the back of your head. 

“You, uh, kinda landed on my car. Unconscious.” A snowy eyebrow lifted. “I couldn’t just leave you out there to bake in the sun.” 

The man glanced around the room again and glanced something caught his eye apparently. His gaze snapped over to his arm where a hot pink bandage was stuck. Curious, he looked back to you. 

“You were a bit beat up so I, uh, patched you up. Pretty nasty cut on your face and a broken wing.” The man touched a finger to where another pink bandage was. “Sorry about the color; they were all I had left.” 

“No need to apologize. I should be doing so for damaging your property.” His voice was deep and held a certain power she rarely heard from anyone. “Thank you for being so kind to me. I must ask your name.” You thought about it for a brief second before deciding to trust him, giving him your name. 

“So what is your name?” 

“Oh! I seem to have left my manners back home. My name is Nathaniel.” You hum; the name suited him. You were about to say something when a noise that made your face drain of all color met your ears. 

Knock Knock Knock! 

“Oh shit! UH! This is really awkward. My parents are here for dinner.” 

“I am sorry for intruding. I will go if you want.” He didn’t sound at all upset. 

“No, no. I just need to think of something. A coworker? Friend? Shit. I have no clue what I am doing.” You run your hands through your hair and pace for a few seconds before another series of knocks ring through your house. “Okay. A friend from work or something. That’ll work. But shit! You have wings. They aren’t as chill as me. I hate to ask this but is there any way you could… hide them without armor or something?” 

Nathaniel’s eyes traced you as you paced back and forth, biting your thumb. He knew you wouldn’t leave him alone while injured, that much was clear. “Give me a moment. Do you have anywhere I could-?” He trailed off, looking at his armor.  

“Oh!” You pointed out the restroom at the back of your own room. “You can put the armor on the dresser I guess.” Another, more urgent, set of knocks rings out and you rush to the door. You fling open the door and your parents’ faces greet you. Your mother is holding the cake they promised for dessert and your father held a few bags. 

“You took quite a while. Everything alright?” Your mother asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Oh! Sorry about that. I was finishing drying my hair from the shower I took. Hard to hear in there.” You lied. “Everything set for tomorrow?”

“Yes. Everyone is all ready to come over. Are you ready for the herd of them though?” Your mother strode in, your father in tow, and made a beeline for the kitchen. 

“I’m prepared for them.” You smiled. “I may need a few minutes to get something for dinner though. Hope you aren’t starving now. I have had a long day.” It wasn’t a lie; you have been swamped even though you had no work today. 

“Your father can stand to wait a few more minutes.” Your mother glanced at where your father sat in the living room. “Need any help?” 

You fumbled over the pots and pans, throwing a recipe together in your mind. You were still shaken from that morning and weren’t paying enough attention to what you were doing. “Crap!” You jump when a pot lands right on your toe. “Good thing this is the one I need.” You fumble as you fill the pot with water and set the stove for cooking. “May I ask what is in the bags?” 

“Just some sparklers and other such things for the kids.” You hum in response as you pull out various things from your refrigerator. 

“Good idea. Need to keep them occupied until dark. You mind helping me tomorrow for lunch? I have a menu planned, but I haven’t made anything yet. My job has made sure of that.” 

“I hope you know that you are going to have to swat your father away from it.” You laugh. “But he should be manning the grill with your grandfather so you can get him back if he is too annoying.” 

“Hear that, Dad?” You call. Your father gets up from the sofa and makes his way to the coffee pot. 

“Yeah, yeah. As long as you don’t eat raw hamburger meat.” 

“As long as you don’t try to eat the cake while we’re making it.” Both you and your mother scold at the same time. Loud creaking shifts the attention to the man standing in the doorway between your living room and kitchen. 

“Oh! You could have told us you were having someone over and we could have come tomorrow with the rest.” 

You put some pork chops in the oven and pour the pasta in the boiling water. “No need. I just found out recently. My friend from work a while back came to town.” You hoped the lie wasn’t too obvious. “This is Nathaniel. Nathaniel, (M/N) and (F/N).” 

Nathaniel bowed his head shallowly. “It is nice to meet you both. I thank (Y/N) for welcoming me so warmly at the last minute.” He was now wearing robes, which your parents noticed immediately, that were a rich brown color. Despite that, they were somehow bright. Gold thread accented lighter patterns in the fabric.His wings were nowhere to be seen, and you deduced he hid them under the loose robes. 

“Yeah. I was excited to hear that he was coming back from his hometown.” Your parents seemed to run with it, assuming he was from a different country with different looks than them. You were grateful that your parents don't question things too much. 

A somewhat awkward silence fell over the kitchen as you drained the pasta and added the necessary ingredients to it. 

“Well I hope all of you are up for pork chops and macaroni.”

You felt as if all eyes in the universe were on you as you set up the four places at your table. You shifted nervously as you brought the food to the table and set it down in the center. 

“Welp. Hope you enjoy.” You say, fidgeting as you sit down at your place at the end of the table, waiting as the other three seated at their places took their share of the food. You finally ladle your portion of the macaroni onto your plain white plate and took one of the pork chops, glancing nervously around the table. 

“So, Nathaniel, are you going to be coming with us to the fireworks show tomorrow?” Your mother piped up as your father eagerly cut a piece off of the porkchop.

He glanced to you and you gave a slight nod. “I suppose I will be attending.” He replied, somewhat awkwardly trying to figure out how he should cut the porkchop with the tiny silverware in his enormous hands. 

“Have you ever seen the fireworks show? It is a treat no matter how many times you see it.” 

“I have not seen it. I look forward to it.” Nathaniel looked somewhat perplexed; probably trying to figure out just what fireworks were. Humans were incapable of magic; so how would they work fire? 

“So what exactly is your job?” Your father asked after thoroughly salting the macaroni. “(Y/N) Mentioned that your used to work with her?” 

Nathaniel took a moment to think, swallowing what food he had in his mouth and placing the silverware down on the table. It was only polite when engaging in conversation. He raked through his brain for an answer. Did you tell him your occupation? He glanced around the table and saw you glancing down. His eyes followed yours to where there was something on the napkin at his place. I work at a bird sanctuary. Was printed. “I used to help her out with the birds. She is a wonderful caretaker.” Nobody else heard it, but Nathaniel heard you release a silent breath when your parents bought it. 

“Where are you from, Nathaniel?” You mother asked, curious. 

“Not around here. I’m not exactly sure what you would call it here.” You sighed as that only seemed to evoke more prodding from your parents. He seemed adamant on not telling them he was, in fact, probably an angel. You had guessed that a while ago, but never got the chance to ask. The white hair, the eyes, the wings, golden armor. It added up in your mind. He was probably a warrior one because of the way he held himself. You absentmindedly ate your dinner as the other three conversed. You noticed Nathaniel was more focused on talking than food, and assumed it was an angel thing. 

A silence fell over the table and only then did Nathaniel continue eating. You had finished your food and your father was going in for seconds. Your mother had finished as well, but had politely placed her silverware down and seemed to be studying the newcomer. She glanced at you a few times, but you disregarded it as you picked up another porkchop. They were cooked the way your grandmother cooked them and you made them only a few times a month. Okay, okay, every other day. They were that good. You’d think you would get tired of them, but they went so well with everything, and they were so easy to make! You couldn’t resist! Besides, it was summer and everyone grilled outside as much as they could; you included. 

“I’m ready for cake.” Your father stated before getting ready to go and cut himself a slice. 

“Is everyone else ready for cake before (F/N) eats half of it?” Your mother rolled her eyes before herding your father away from the cake and expertly managing to find where you kept your cutting knives. She had a way of finding everything even if it wasn’t her house. 

“I’m ready!” You nearly launch your chair backwards as you place your plate in the sink and exchange it for a clean one. “I’ve been looking forward to this all week!” It was a rare occurrence when you lived with your parents that cake was made. Unless you had the random craving for cake poppers and made them yourself. And were promptly swarmed by the rest of your family. You watch in anticipation as your mother cuts the first slice of the fluffy and perfectly iced cake, expertly avoiding getting any of the icing on her hands. It plopped onto the plate and she handed it to you, your eyes lighting up. Nathaniel had never had this ‘cake’ before -as a matter of fact, he hadn’t had a lot of earth food- and was curious to why you seemed so excited about it. You weren’t nearly as excited over the other food. Was it special? Some sort of tradition? 

“Nathaniel, dear, would you like some cake?” Your mother’s voice jolted him from his thoughts. Should he try some? He heard Azrael was a big fan, absolutely beaming every time the word was mentioned. Well, beaming more than usual. 

“I would like some please.” He finally decided, getting up from his place to receive the plate held out for him. He picked up his fork, still marveling at how tiny it was, and glanced over to you. You had already finished and were glancing over at your mother, contemplating getting another slice. Nathaniel mentally shrugged and tried a bit. 

He understood what Azrael meant now. 

After dinner, you cleaned up the plates and placed them in the sink, seeing your parents head for the living room after declining their help with the dishes. Nathaniel remained in the kitchen. 

“You okay over there?” You called as you placed one of the pots in the dish drain, moving on to a plate. It was a few moments before you got a response. 

“I am fine. Just… pondering.” You grunt in response and continue on with washing the dishes. 

“Are you sure you don’t want help?” Nathaniel raised his head from where he was staring at the wood grain in the table. 

“Nah. Isn’t too much trouble for me. You can go in and watch TV or something if you want. No need to stay in here.” You respond, glancing over your shoulder to see your parents on the sofa and watching the news. 

“I can wait until you are finished.” Nathaniel responded. You shrugged, puffing a strand of hair out of your face as you washed the last pot. You drained the sink and washed off your hands, drying them on one of the towels that hung around your kitchen. 

“Come on, I wanna see if my show is on.” You walk into the living room and grab the remote off of the coffee table and scan over the guide before finding your show, no objections from your parents which was a rarity. 

“The kitten show?” Your father huffs. “I thought that was what YouTube was for.” 

“My house. I can watch kittens whenever I want.” You respond, sticking out your tongue as you sit on the recliner tucked perfectly in one corner. That, you had made very clear to your family, was your chair and nobody was allowed to sit in it unless they had explicit permission from you. 

“Kittens?” Nathaniel asked curiously as he took a seat on the floor and looked to where you all were looking. He felt his heart nearly explode from the odd cuteness of the animals. They were so… small and helpless. He had the urge to pet them, but it seemed that you didn’t have one that he could see. He heard you say ‘aww’ more than a few times as the ‘kittens’ grew up and somehow didn’t lose that cuteness. 

Several hours of kittens passed and your parents decided to go to bed. You directed them to the one guest room you had in your house and continued to watch the screen. 

“Are you an angel?” You asked suddenly, disregarding the fact that it sounded like the beginnings of a terrible pick-up line. Nathaniel didn’t seem to notice that fact and turned away from the television. 

“I suppose you still do have questions.” He shifted. The man had moved to the couch when your parents left and seemed saddened by something. “I am an angel.” 

“What kind of angel?” 

“I used to be a warrior.” 

You lifted an eyebrow, not sensing the remorse in the angel’s face. “Used to be?” 

“It… is a long story.” 

You leap in excitement. You always liked stories. And one from a warrior angel! “I have time. I’m a night owl anyways.” Nathaniel was slightly cheered by your enthusiasm and a smile quirked the edge of his scarred lips. 

“Alright then. It all started when…”

#darksiders nathaniel #darksiders #a repost becuase i am an idiot #prompt #this is a long ass post #sorry not sorry #there may be more soon #because i am really starting to get back into this story #darksiders 2

[bungou-stray-dingus]

Lovely!Can I request again chuuya with his adorable gf who keeps getting some strange messages from men and clearly uncomfortable but doesn’t want to tell chuuya cause she doesn’t want to worry him💗

YOU CAN REQUEST AS MUCH AS YOU WANT DOLL! I LOVE WRITING YOUR REQUESTS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Chuuya didn’t hide his relationship with you, not really. He wouldn’t hide his affection when he was out in public, and he even brought you into headquarters on days when he knew he wouldn’t have to leave or be gone for too long. One thing he didn’t do was post about your relationship online. It would be too dangerous if the entire world knew that the two of you were together. According to the internet, the two of you didn’t even know each other. There were no pictures of the two of you together, no statuses about the perfect dates he took you on. Your relationship status still said you were single, as much as he hated to see it, he knew it was for the best. If anyone knew you were together it posed the risk of someone targeting you just to get to him.

Your profile picture wasn’t bad, it’s not like you were revealing anything. Chuuya wouldn’t let you post those kinds of pictures anyway. He always took your pictures for you, acting as your personal photographer to make sure you looked like a model, even if the picture was just being posted on Instagram. He would have you pose near the window to let the sun shine in over you, the camera capturing your natural, unfiltered beauty.

He would watch the likes on your photos jump from 0-50, then 50-100 in a matter of minutes, and he’d just smirk at the phone. Of course they liked your photos, who wouldn’t. You were drop dead gorgeous, and you were also his. He didn’t mind the amount of likes you’d get on the pictures, even if every man in the world was dropping likes and eyeing you through their phone screens, he was the only one who got to hold you, touch you, kiss you. You were still his, and only his.

He knew your pictures got a lot of likes, and that’s why he didn’t seem to mind the way your phone would vibrate nonstop, the notifications building on your phone, taking up the entire lock screen. He wasn’t nosy, well... that nosy. He wasn’t the type to constantly peak over your shoulder to see what you were doing, so he never saw the messages you were getting. If he was to see the messages, he would have lost it. He would have grabbed your phone out of your hand and told the men to fuck off and leave you alone. He would have to control himself so he didn’t throw your phone out the window, he would have to tell himself that he shouldn’t hunt the men down and beat the shit out of each and every one of them for sending you the things they did.

But he didn’t see the messages, only you did. Whenever you saw the nasty things the men sent you, the vulgar descriptions of what they’d like to do to you, the nasty pictures that you hadn’t asked for, the proclamations of love, and by far the creepiest message when the man said he would find you and steal you and keep you for himself, when you saw the messages you would inwardly cringe and quickly delete the chat so Chuuya wouldn’t see it. He wouldn’t notice the slight change in your face, the way your nose would crinkle up when you saw the pictures. You were glad he wasn’t nosy, because seeing those messages would only make him worried about how your online presence was a risk. He knew how people were, and the message from the man threatening to take you away would make Chuuya panic. He knew that people had a way to track people down through the internet, they had people at the port mafia who did it often, and it wasn’t as hard as it seemed. He would make you disappear for a little, deleting your accounts, just to make sure that no one would find you until he felt like it was safe again.

You would have to hide the messages, make sure he never seen them. You knew that if you put a password on your phone now he’d think something was up, he’d be more mad at you than the guys who sent the messages. He’d be hurt that you didn’t show him what was going on, and he’d lose trust in you.

One night, laying in bed, you were already fast asleep. Your phone was on the nightstand, the screen constantly lit up the room and the vibrations on the table seemed too loud in the quiet room. He reached across you and grabbed the phone, he would just turn off the notifications and try to get some sleep. He wasn’t planning on looking through the messages, but once he caught a glimpse of one he couldn’t help himself.

He propped himself up on a pillow and started reading through them, his stomach turning as the words created images in his mind that he didn’t want to see. The pictures were another thing in itself, he quickly left the chat so he didn’t have to see them.

Creepy messages from men who threatened to take you away from him had him squeezing the phone so hard it could break. He would kill them, all of them.

How long had these messages been coming in? How could he have been so oblivious? Why hadn’t you told him about what these men were sending you? He would have to talk to you about it when you woke up.

He couldn’t seem to fall asleep, his mind was running rampant with thoughts of other men being with you, the way only he should. He didn’t know what to do, he wanted to read through more of the messages, but he knew it would only make him feel worse. So he sat in bed, watching you sleep. The way your hands were were folded under your head, your eyes moving behind your closed eyelids. You were smiling in your sleep and he wondered what you were dreaming about, hoping that it was him.

The sun started rising, and he couldn’t sit still much longer. He felt like a zombie from his lack of sleep, but he got out of bed and moved to the living room, bringing your phone with him.

You emerged soon after, your eyes still half shut, adjusting your eyes to the sunlight that filled the room. “Good morning baby.” You said, the words mixed in with a yawn as you stretched your arms above your head. You moved across the room and flopped down onto the couch next to him, his arm instinctively slinging across your shoulder to pull you against him. “You look tired, did you sleep last night?” You asked, analyzing his face, noticing the dark circles under his eyes, the way his eyes didn’t seem to sparkle the way they usually do in the morning.

“No, I couldn’t.” He pulled your phone out of his pocket, expecting you to get nervous or try to pull it away. Instead you snuggled closer against him and let him open it. “Your phone kept going off and I tried to turn off the notifications.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think they would keep liking my stuff in the middle of the night.” You said sheepishly.

“The notifications aren’t the problem, it’s the messages you get. You see them, right?” He asked, going to your direct messages, not wanting to open any of them though. You nodded slowly, your eyes dropping to your clasped hands in your lap. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You worry so much about me, I didn’t want to give you something else to worry about.”

“But if I knew I could have made them stop.”

“No, it’s different guys all the time. I told them to stop anyway, they don’t.”

“What do you want me to do? I’ll do whatever I have to, I want them to leave you alone. What do you think will work?” He didn’t want to take away your phone, he didn’t want to be that kind of boyfriend. He knew that getting those likes on your photos boosted your confidence, as much as he didn’t understand it, he didn’t want to take that away from you.

“Well, I mean.... I know that you don’t want to take pictures together because of the risk, but it might keep the guys away if they know I have a boyfriend.” You suggested quietly. He thought about it. It might be dangerous for you and him to be seen together, but if it lowered the chances of creepy men bombarding your DM’s with vulgarities and derogatory pictures, he would do it.

He didn’t bother getting ready, he didn’t mind that he was in nothing but his boxers and he had bed head. You didn’t care that your makeup was smudged from the night before, and your sloppy bun was even sloppier than when you threw your hair up before bed, or that you were in one of his over sized t-shirts. It was a genuine photo, it wasn’t staged, it was just the two of you having a lazy morning together.

He made the caption for the picture, which went a little something like “THIS IS THE BOYFRIEND AND IF YOU GUYS WANT YOUR ARMS AND LEGS TO NOT BE BROKE YOU’LL LEAVE MY GIRLFRIEND ALONE. SHES MINE.”

Sure, it was slightly hostile and maybe a little redundant, you let it stay. He cared about you, and he loved you, he was just doing what he thought he had to do.

You still received messages, but not nearly as many as you had before. You let Chuuya handle the responses, and he took a lot more pictures with you because as much as he hated to admit it, he thought it was cute. He even made his own Instagram account where he posted nothing but pictures of the two of you together, and he spent an entire day commenting on all of your pictures with hearts of the hashtag MINE. He showed off your pictures to everyone at work, but if they looked even slightly interested, or looked too long he would snap at them and tell them you were taken.

You were his, and dammit he was letting the entire world know.

#bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs #bsd imagines #bsd scenarios #bsd headcanons #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #chuuya imagines #chuuya headcanons #chuuya scenarios #bsd request

[thefahc-motheringvampire]

Okay so I accidentally deleted it, but @watchthe-queenconquer submitted an ask about Geoff and Jack adopting Gavin so he can’t get deported, in the same vein as my headcanon about them being married. And uh, my hand slipped.

FAHC headcanon: Gavin was adopted by Geoff and Jack.

He cheekily calls them ‘mum’ and ‘dad’, and everyone else thinks he’s joking. Even when he insists he’s being completely serious, can anyone actually take Gavin at his word? Geoff calls him ‘son’, when the mood strikes him, but that’s not really a clear indication of anything.

But that’s how the brit ended up joining the crew. It’s still the early days, “crew” was a nice word, it was more like a group of loose affiliates Geoff and Jack could more or less depend on to not fuck them over. They were moving up in the world, but still had a long climb to the top. At least they had a steady base of operations now (two bedrooms and the landlord accepted cash). But back to Gavin: they had stumbled on him by accident. A job required a hacker to get past a security system, and while they were fretting about what the fuck they were going to do about that, this idiot descended from the heavens and tried to boost Jack’s car.

He was unsuccessful, obviously, losing quite quickly in the ensuing fistfight. When Jack threatened to report him to the cops (a laugh in and of itself, like she was going to call the police), the kid completely broke down and promised he would do anything she wanted in penance. Among the blubbered offerings were his skills with computers, and Jack decided to be merciful and accept his proposition.

That started their acquaintance with Gavin. He did a good job and seemed eager to work for them, so they called him whenever they needed a hacker. Kid didn’t have a car though, always needed to be picked up and dropped off. Geoff joked with Jack that they were picking up their son from school.

Something that nagged at Geoff though was that they rarely dropped him off at the same place twice. He would have guessed homeless, but Gavin was always clean and dressed nicely. Better than Geoff was, usually. When he asked about it, Gavin brushed it off; he wasn’t exactly here legally, so he was couch surfing until he could figure out the best way to secure citizenship. He was only 17 after all, and he looked it. It was proving difficult to forge his documents.

One night they’re back at the apartment after finishing a job. It’s pissing rain outside and everyone is soaked (because SOMEONE forgot where they parked the car and Jack swears it’s the last time she’ll let Geoff drive). Geoff’s in a good mood though, they were successful and there’ll be a big payout waiting for them tomorrow. He cracks out the beers, but notices Gavin edging his way to the door.

“Should probably pop off, friends’re expectin’ me,” he offers lamely. Geoff starts feeling around for his keys (which are in Jack’s pocket but he’s already forgotten her oath), but Gavin stops him, “Oh don’t worry ‘bout it. It’s not far, I can walk.”

Geoff won’t hear it though, because despite his best intentions he’s developed a soft spot for Gavin and his well being, and insists on driving. Gavin seems uncomfortable with it, but goes along because what else is he going to do? So Geoff drives him and Gavin waits on the curb until he’s gone (“It’s just British etiquette mate”). While he’s driving home he gets a text from Jack demanding ribs from that place across town (”you owe me for making me walk around in the rain asshole”), so he sighs and continues his adventure. Good thing he was such a devoted husband.

40 minutes later he’s on his way back, passing through the same neighborhood he dropped Gavin off in. He’s surprised to see a familiar skinny silhouette walking in the rain. Geoff slows the car and rolls down the window, calling out Gavin’s name. The kid jumps and turns, and has a weird mix of relief and trepidation on his face. Closer up, Geoff is able to see a puffy eye and a split lip.

“Hey man, you okay?” Geoff is all fatherly concern and friendly confusion.

“Wot…oh yeah I’m toppers. Just uh…bit of a tiff with my friend, yeah? Boys’ll be boys, you know how it is.” Gavin is smiling but it isn’t reaching his eyes. The rain continues to pour, making his hair plaster around his face and add to the pathetic look.

“Do you need a place to stay tonight?” That’s not the question Geoff wants to ask. He wants to ask where this asshole who thinks he can beat up on Gavin is. But the kid seems out of sorts and Geoff doesn’t want to upset him further.

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, I’ll figure something out. Thanks though.” As if he really believes Geoff is just going to leave him there in the rain with a busted face and no place to go.

“Gavin, get in the fucking car.” Kingpin Geoff is out, and Gavin hurries to obey the strict tone. He’s quiet at first, like he’s struggling with something that needs to be said but isn’t wanted.

“I uh, don’t have any money on me, but you can take what you want from my cut of the job,” he decides on, watching Geoff carefully.

“I don’t want your money, Gavin,” the older man replies, a lot gruffer than he intended. Still in kingpin mode.

“Right,” Gavin says quietly, almost to himself, “ ‘course not.” He cheers right up after that, and begins chattering blithely about nonsense like whether or not Geoff thinks dogs know they’re dogs. The tenseness eases up. They get back to the apartment, the evening winds down, Geoff has packed away his vengeance in a box, to open later. After her ribfest Jack turns in for the night, and it’s just Geoff and Gavin sitting on the couch, watching TV.

And Geoff’s enjoying it; he likes Gavin, and there’s an anxiety in him he didn’t know he had that’s calmed tonight, because he knows the kid is safe. And he looks over and smiles at Gavin and it’s just a peaceful pure moment and it feels good.

The next thing he knows, Gavin is on top of him, hand on his crotch and kissing him. Geoff isn’t able to process exactly what’s happening, and a pulse of arousal shoots through him, responding to the kid’s touch. Gavin’s lip has re-split open and all Geoff can taste is blood. It doesn’t take his conscious brain long to kick in. He pushes Gavin off and stands up, creating some distance between them.

“What the fuck was that?” Geoff asks before he can stop himself, still not putting the pieces together. He’s looking down at Gavin and the kid looks scared out of his mind, and Geoff knows that feeling. I’ll do anything you want, just don’t hurt me. Please daddy, just don’t hurt me. And then it dawns on him, and he’s sitting down heavily, head in his hands. He realizes what Gavin thought the price for a place to sleep was.

Several emotions wash over him all at once. Anger. Grief. Disgust. It takes him a second to collect himself, to stifle the feelings in his throat threatening to bubble out. Next to him Gavin hasn’t moved, and the blood has started to dribble down his chin.

“Are you mad at me Geoff?” Gavin asks in a tiny voice that absolutely breaks Geoff’s heart. It helps ease the grip around his throat his anger currently has.

“No Gavin. I’m not mad at you.” He’s pinching the bridge of his nose and his eyes are squeezed shut, he doesn’t trust himself to look at the kid again, not yet, “is this…what always happens when you need a place to sleep?”

“Yeah. They don’t pay me but they buy me stuff sometimes.” Gavin’s unfrozen, but he’s keeping his distance from Geoff, making himself as small as physically possible at the other end of the couch. Eying up the door, calculating an escape route.

“Is this…something you want to be doing?” Geoff doesn’t want to hear the answer.

“You having a laugh? ‘Course I don’t want to be fucking men my dad’s age. Don’t really wanna be fucking men at all, honestly. But if that’s what I gotta do to survive, it’s what I’ll do.” There it is. The anger’s back, threatening to overwhelm Geoff. He wants to know who did this, who forced this kid to believe that no kindness comes without a price. Seventeen goddamn years old. All Geoff wants in this moment is to burn this entire city to the fucking ground.

Instead he takes a deep breath and finally trusts himself to look at Gavin. The terror’s gone but the kid’s guard is still up, “Okay listen up. I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to,” Geoff starts, and he can practically see Gavin shut down, “but if you need a place to stay and don’t want to fuck anybody to get it, you can crash with us. As long as you want. No strings.”

“For real?” Gavin’s afraid to trust what Geoff says, and it cuts deep.

“For real.”

That’s how Gavin starts living with them. Geoff has a talk with Jack, and they take the money they were saving for a new car and put it to a new use. It’s a few weeks until things come to fruition, but when they do Geoff is excited like a kid at Christmas and it takes everything in him to not ruin the surprise.

“Wot’s all this then?” Gavin asks, coming into the kitchen. There’s a questionably made cake courtesy of Jack (but Geoff helped decorate) and a neat stack of papers at Gavin’s place.

“Well if you’re going to join our crew there’s some paperwork you have to submit first,” Jack quips, smirking. 

It doesn’t take the golden boy long realize she’s joking, but he’s not getting the joke, “These are adoption papers?”

“Geoff and I have begun to long for the pitter-patter of tiny feet. Yours are a bit bigger than we’d like, but we’ll make do,” Jack is teasing this out as long as she can, much to the torment of Geoff next to her.

“I don’t get it.”

Geoff finally bursts, “you won’t be deportable if we adopt you, dummy.”

“You’re serious?” Gavin is incredulous, still waiting for the other boot to drop. People in his world weren’t ever so generous.

Geoff’s in the middle of telling Gavin about how he married Jack, how much worse off could he do, when Gavin hug-tackles him. He’s trying hard not to cry, but Geoff can feel two wet spots growing on his shirt. Which is just as well, because Geoff’s crying too. And his little family grows by one.

#I'm sorry it took so long #I got lost in the sauce #gonna call this the wholesome family au #fahc #fahc au #fahc headcanon #fahc fanfiction #fahc geoff #fahc jack #fahc gavin #ragehappy #ficlet #tw: blood #writing

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 15 of don’t read the last page is here!

masterpost

[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]

"I just want to go back to sleep," she said; really she wanted to go back to this summer, when she had so hated the long stretches of empty days and taken for granted the seemingly endless hours they had spent together laughing and talking and kissing each other senseless and never once imagining how hard it was going to be.

"Then sleep, baby," Kristoff murmured, and by the way his arms tightened around her she knew he wanted the same.

chapter 15: new year

"Why is anyone calling me at eight in the morning on New Year's?"

She burrowed deeper under the blankets, squeezing her eyes shut and willing the whole damn world to just shut up. She hadn’t thought she’d had much to drink last night, but her head ached, and her mouth was fuzzy, and they had never made it to the shower so now she was pretty sure there was lipstick and mascara smeared all over her face, but more importantly this was their day, and she didn’t want anything to ruin it.

"It's not just anyone, baby, that's Sam's ringtone," Kristoff said, his voice still rough with sleep, as he gently rubbed a circle between her shoulder blades.

She ignored it anyway. Anything definitely included overeager calls from her agent who was still somewhat giddy at her newfound fame. Instead she focused her attention on Kristoff’s bare chest, pressing little kisses to it and smiling faintly when she felt his heartbeat accelerate beneath her touch.

Eventually, the phone went silent, but she didn't even have time to sigh in relief before it started ringing again. Kristoff pulled away from her just enough to get the phone and set it on the bed, accepting the call. "Hey, Sam. You're on speaker."

"Hey, kid. And hey to Anna, too. I'm sorry to call this early, wish I wasn't up, either."

"Just tell me what it is, Sam," Anna said, reluctantly turning over so her voice wouldn't be muffled against Kristoff's skin. "So we can all get it over with and get back to bed."

"Good news or bad news?"

"Good first."

"You've gained a thousand new Twitter followers in the last...uh...half hour? And everyone's excited to see you really can sing."

For a moment she was confused; how were those connected, and why did he need to tell her right now?

And then it hit her.

"Oh, god, Sam," she said, her voice already shaking. "But Hans said…"

"Someone didn't listen. They filmed the two of you singing 'Auld Lang Syne'. And, uh...people already noticed you guys matched each other. And the confetti. And came to...conclusions."

Kristoff stiffened beside her. "Can't you get it taken down?" he asked.

"Three different sources leaked it. And it's been reported on already. It happened so fast-- Lena found out half an hour after the first tweet, and by then I was already fielding interview requests for you. By the time we got all the official sources to delete it…"

"A bunch of random people will have already saved it," Anna said, her voice tight. "So it's here to stay."

Sam sighed. "This is on me and Lena, kiddo. Should've been more on top of this, shouldn't have encouraged you so much to go. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Anna said, her vision quickly growing blurry.

"How do you want to handle this?"

"I don't know, Sam."

"I know it's hard, but the sooner we--"

"I said I don't know," she snapped.

For a moment there was only silence. When Sam spoke again, his voice was soft. "I'm sorry, Anna. Let me talk to Lena. We'll come up with a couple of options. You call me later when you're ready, okay?"

She didn't respond. After a moment, Kristoff cleared his throat. "She says okay. Thanks, Sam."

He hung up the phone and tossed it across the room, where it landed in the laundry basket. "Hole in one," Anna said weakly, and burst into tears.

He didn't speak; he just put his arms around her as she sobbed into her hands, holding her close against his chest. "One fucking day," she choked out. "I wanted one fucking day to just be us again."

"I know," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple.

"I don't know what to do. Like, where to even start, I--"

She trailed off, too confused and overwhelmed to begin to put it all into words. Instead she turned over in Kristoff's embrace to tuck her chin over his shoulder, inhaling the familiar warm scent of him, and fought to hold back a fresh wave of tears.

"I just want to go back to sleep," she said; really she wanted to go back to this summer, when she had so hated the long stretches of empty days and taken for granted the seemingly endless hours they had spent together laughing and talking and kissing each other senseless and never once imagining how hard it was going to be.

"Then sleep, baby," Kristoff murmured, and by the way his arms tightened around her she knew he wanted the same.

---

She hadn’t meant to actually fall asleep, had intended to lay there all morning with him, letting herself be comforted even though they both already knew the fallout from this would hurt him, too. But suddenly she was blinking awake, her head pounding and her mouth dry, as Kristoff carefully wriggled out from beneath her; somehow he had ended up on his back with her curled around and over his side, her head pillowed on his chest.

“Kris?”

“Go back to sleep,” he said softly as he slid out of bed. “I’ll be right back.”

“No, my head hurts,” she mumbled, rubbing at her eyes as she followed him. “I wanna drink some water.”

“Okay. I’m gonna take a shower.”

For a moment she felt nothing but contentment as she watched him stretch, the muscles in his back rippling with the movement, and amble out of the room and down the hall wearing nothing but low-slung sweatpants. She considered following after him and surprising him in the shower-- she really did want to get all the hairspray out, and there was room for both of them, and he surely wouldn’t mind, and then she remembered the morning’s phone call and felt a cold wave of dread wash over her, tears already pricking at the back of her eyes.

How many more times had the video been shared? How many more people had seen it and wondered if she and Hans were dating? How many people had already been calling Lena asking for a comment on her relationship status?

Now she didn’t feel like crying; she felt like throwing up. What had she gotten Kristoff into? She didn’t particularly care about what people thought about her, so long as they still liked her, but he hadn’t asked for any of this, had never done anything but support her, and now he was faced with either becoming a public figure or watching the whole world believe she was with someone else. And he started clinicals next week, and she was going to be insanely busy as they rushed to get as much done as possible before going to Russia, and already they had both been so stressed and--

“Pull yourself together, Anna,” she muttered under her breath, pinching her arm to force herself back into the present moment. “Throwing a pity party won’t fix it.”

She retrieved her discarded phone from the hamper and shot off a quick text to Sam, asking if they could do a conference Skype call in half an hour. And Kristoff will be in on it if he wants, she added in a followup message. He’s part of this too.

Sure, came the reply only a couple of minutes later. Lena and I think we have some ideas worked out. And of course, no problem.

“Kris?” she called, padding down the hall and slipping into the bathroom. “We’re gonna do a video conference at ten-thirty. I told Sam you’ll be there. If you want to, I mean.”

He pulled aside the shower curtain, shampoo still in his hair. “Of course.”

He said it so easily, without any hesitation, that she couldn’t help but kiss him. He grinned when she pulled away and asked, “Care to join me?”

“We’ll be late for the call then.”

“So we’ll just kiss. And you can make sure I don’t have any more lipstick on my back.”

“Well. When you put it that way…”

They were only five minutes late, both of them still rosy-cheeked and damp as they set the laptop on the kitchen table and crowded next to each other. Anna was still grinning when the dial tone began, but the moment she saw Sam and Lena’s somber expressions her smile swirled away as if it had been swept down the drain with the bubbles.

“Sam and I have been talking all morning. We’ve put together three options,” Lena said without preamble. “Option one, you come out and tell people about your relationship with Kristoff. Option two, you say nothing and hope that people forget about this. Which they won’t unless someone else does something juicier, but it is an option. And option three...we lean into this. Drop some hints that you and Westergaard actually are dating. I can get in touch with his people, see if they want to set up an arrangement, the whole shebang.”

Anna felt her cheeks grow hot. “Why would I ever do that?”

“You’ve gained ten thousand followers between Twitter and Instagram just this morning, while most of the world is still in bed hungover. He’s a huge star, and doing that would raise your profile and the movie’s. It’d be a huge boost to your career, and it wouldn’t have to be forever.”

Anna pressed her lips into a thin line, not trusting herself to speak. Sam, looking torn himself, said, “It’s up to you, kiddo. But we can make lemons outta lemonade.”

“I’m not going to cheat on my boyfriend.”

“It’s not cheating,” Lena cut in, “it’s acting. Same as you kissing him onscreen.”

“It’s different, it’s--”

“I think she should do it,” Kristoff said suddenly. 

For the second time that morning, Anna thought she was going to be sick. She didn’t dare to look at him; instead she kept her gaze just above the top part of the screen, focusing intently on the cactus they had bought last week to keep in the living room. “Because I know you want a pet someday,” he had told her, “but we gotta make sure we’re responsible enough for one, and I figured that’s a good place to start, and yes, before you ask, we can name it.”

Sam was saying something, but she couldn’t hear him over the roaring in her ears. Kris responded, and from the corner of her eye, she saw him nod. “Okay, then,” Lena said, “Anna, I can call his team tonight if you--”

“No!” Anna said, horrified that any of them were even considering it. “I’m not-- Jesus fucking Christ, I could never just-- just do that…”

“Hang on,” Kristoff said, turning off their video and audio and muting the computer before reaching over to clasp her hands. “Anna, baby…”

His eyes were too soft, too full of love; that made it worse, somehow, that he thought this was the right way to love her. “I don’t ever want to hold back your career. We’ll still know the truth, right? That’s what’s important.”

She shook her head fiercely. “No. I-- no. It just feels wrong, Kris. I hate keeping us secret, but I’d hate just blatantly lying about it even more. And I don’t want to boost my career like this, with something just...made-up. And-- fuck, when you weren’t there I realized you and Honey were right, and I...god. I don’t care if that’s the best option. I don’t want to take it.”

He squeezed her hands. “Okay.”

“Okay?” “Yeah. Do you...do you want to go public then?”

“Do you?”

His voice was unsure. “I...can, if you want me to. I’ll just...you know, warn the clinic I’m working with in case of--”

“No. Nope. Don’t say anything else.”

“Anna--”

It was her turn to squeeze his hands. “Be one hundred percent honest with me right now, Kristoff. This isn’t just about me. What do you want?”

She held his gaze, watched as a sadness crept into his eyes and knew that he was going to break her heart and put it back together in one fell swoop. “You. Even if I have to share you with the world. Whatever that means, whatever I have to do, I just...I want to share a life with you, Anna. My whole life, actually, if we can swing it. And maybe someday I’ll be able to be what you need and be able to be in the spotlight with you and--”

“Kris, baby, I--” 

She was starting to tear up again. “You’re already what I need. And I-- I want the same thing, even if you’re never ready to go public. And I love you so much, and I’m so sorry that any of this is even on the table.”

He leaned forward to press his forehead against hers. They both drew in a deep breath that escaped in huffs of laughter when they realized what they had done. “Love you back,” he murmured, giving her a soft kiss. “Should we, uh, turn our video back on and finish the call?”

“If we have to.”

Lena was tapping her fingers impatiently; she stopped, looking embarrassed when the call resumed. “Did we come to a decision?”

Kristoff looked over at Anna; she nodded firmly. “Yes. We’re taking option two.”

“Are you sure? This is an opportunity to--”

“Get a new publicist? Interesting suggestion.”

Lena’s mouth snapped shut. Kristoff and Sam both shot her a surprised glance; she was never harsh like this. Well, she thought, times are changing in more ways than one.

“Alright, then,” Sam said at last. “Whatever you want, kiddo. Guess we’ll just...wait and see.”

#this is prob gonna be the least fun chapter in the whole fic sorry #i still put some love in there so it's not all brutal reality lol #drtlp #my fics

[livin-in-mementos]

After Some Time (...and a break or two)

Ugh... okay, its here. The big one. Let me preface this by saying I wont be doing a count by count story of what happened, it’s too many hour and headaches that I don’t need to be fair. But I said I’d get to it... and boy howdy has it been swirling in my head since.

The Slazo Situation Revisited

 So small backstory for those who haven’t boarded this crazy train of bullshit and migraines, this story is about a fairly large commentary youtuber by the name of Slazo (Or Micheal) who was caught in a controversy when his ‘Ex-Girlfriend’ exposed him in a Twitlonger for being a manipulative, sexual harasser. DM’s and screenshots of chat logs were shown and it made Slazo look pretty scummy. A few days later Slazo releases his defence video outlining the parts that were true and a lot of points that were fabricated to make him look evil in the eyes of the internet, with added proof and conveniently missing parts of his exes proof that would have exonerated him on the spot in the eyes of the internet courtroom. For opinions sake, yes I do think Slazo is innocent of the more damning accusations that were put against him, no I do not think he was 100% innocent. Of what he was guilty of? maybe being a pretty shitty boyfriend.... though at the age of 15-16... its slap on the back of the head material... not cancellation worthy.

Slazo was pretty much cleared of it all and everybody went on with their day... heck it shouldn’t even be called the Slazo situation, because while his name was brought up a lot, he wasn’t really all that key to what happened next... 

Commentary youtubers from all corners of the internet had an opinion on what Slazo had done and how guilty he was (again, I will not be doing a play by play of every accusation) which boiled down to two camps

1. “Slazo is guilty and here is why... Oh and have a bunch of off-cuff situations I witnessed where Slazo was really creepy that I only just now remember and want to bring up.”

2. “Lotta commentary youtubers being liars, snakes or hypocrites up in here.”

Which in turn brought two youtubers under the microscope themselves, ImAlexx and Hyojin.

Alex first as it’s easier and is the least weird of the two. Alex jumped on the Slazo hate bandwagon pretty quickly and started accusing Slazo of a bunch of things that couldn’t easily be proven, while also completely backing up the story that Chey (the ex) has given in her Twitlonger, despite the fact it had been blown open with so many holes that not even a brain dead goldfish could find logic in it. Alex would later admit he had a part in writing the Twitlonger, as did many other prominent commentary youtubers and friends,outing the Twitlonger as more of a team effort rather than just Chey writing it herself.

After this Alex was accused of a bunch of stuff himself including being a social climber to get more popular since he was a pretty good friend to Slazo before all of this happened, as well as a snake since he supported Chey and the Twitlonger until it was criticised as untrue.... and Alex said the same to cover for himself.

To this day there hasn’t been a clear end point to this, Alex has tried to brush away from it all and has taken the bumps of being called controversial, hoping for it to all die down eventually. (While writing this Alex appeared on the Happy Hour Podcast to give a rundown of the situation to the hosts who admitted they knew nothing of the situation. What’s worse Alex seems to have glazed over many of his own wrongdoings that only escalated the drama further.) Opinion? To be honest, I don’t know... Alex obviously tried to ride the controversy to boost himself, that much is sure, yet when it came back to bite him he tried to hide and wait for it to blow over. It’s sad, It IS snakeworthy and since a proper apology hasn’t been issued... it’s not a good look for him at all.

Hyojin to me was the worst of the two to me. While she didn’t say as much publicly, it was was was happening behind the scenes that just frustrated me.

(Be aware, if you like Hyojin and think she can do no wrong, DO NOT READ PAST THIS POINT. A lot of hot-takes will be thrown out there and a lot of criticism will be put out there too. I WILL be talking about the aftermath at length which is where the support poured in for Hyojin. I will being ripping that apart just as much, if not more for the bullshit that it was.)

Hyojin sucks, and I mean she really sucks. A lot of what was thrown out about Slazo in the Twitlonger allegedly was orchestrated and was the idea of Hyojin herself, taking what Chey was saying and embellishing it with the rest of their friend group. It’s alleged however and won’t be part of the criticism thrown at her.

While the incident was being investigated, Hyojin was too, including her colourful hot takes on Slazo and how creepy he was. Hyojin would never publicly call out Slazo since at the time, anybody who did was getting rinsed by the internet very quickly. So instead she hid on her discord and talked in DM’s about destroying Slazo’s career so he would never recover and deleting messages that challenged how Chey publicly omitted any evidence that made Slazo look like less of a monster. Shady.

During the internet investigations, it was discovered that Hyojin had an old art Twitter where her fictional character was drawn fucking her friends in several positions. The problem was, several of these friends were underage and despite her defence that none of these friends minded.... it was still there for public viewing as was still wrong. One instance even had another youtuber by the name of Kavos in one of these pictures even though he was never asked, nor gave his permission. The irony of all this being that much of what Hyojin criticised Slazo for, she was guilty of herself. Creepy.

Here’s where it gets controversial... probably more for me. Dog dropping rumours aside. (trust me, it was stupid)

Hyojin was getting major flak for everything that was found out about her and it seemed to get too much for her, which is understandable. Her response to all of this was a tweet telling everyone she was going to kill herself. The public response actually became something that confused me, because in the blink of an eye everyone retracted their criticisms and gave out well wishes instead. To make the trend even more sympathetic the youtubers involved in writing the Twitlonger started urging people to give her space and lay off on the nasty comments.

I for one, did not care. Heartless of me? Maybe. But it was all backed up by reasoning. Here was a girl ready to throw the life of a person under the bus for being a slightly shitty boyfriend and lying to make it sound worse. Helping to write up a statement that grossly exaggerated things to such a degree that Slazo was the most hated person on the internet and was blasted by everyone left, right and centre. After he proved to everyone he wasn’t like that, the attention turned on Chey and the friends that helped her and when their dirty laundry was put out there and they were being criticised.... now it was unacceptable? Now it was too much?

YOU TRIED TO OUT A GUY FOR BEING A SEX PEST! Shit that will follow him for life. But people calling out racist remarks you made? the underage porn you had drawn? The toxic behaviour you exhibited to anyone who questioned you?

....yeah that was too much and the line had to be drawn right?

But hey, it’s okay, you can just back to twitter the second the drama blows over and everything is all good now right?

Now this is where I direct it to the people who think that Hyojin is infallible, that she can do no wrong. She messed up bad, real bad. If anything she’s the true villain behind all of this and it’s shocking the lengths people were going to just to defend her. If every racist, abuser or sex pest threatened their life to be let off, this world would be screwed, but the second a darling Tumblr artist with links to popular youtubers does it, it’s a crime to list the irony that she attempted to cancel a guy with far worse repercussions that would lead to life long damage.

The worst part of all of this was that an apology would have cleared all of this. They knew they were wrong but an apology was impossible for them, so instead it’s made bigger, uglier and dirty laundry is shown. If anything, I’m happy it got to where it did since it showed the ugly side of Hyojin for everyone to see. So my opinion of Hyojin?

Fuck Hyojin.

#hyojin #slazo #Drama #offmychest #slazo drama