#then i would Still leave feeling frustrated and upset with myself for being Rude and Strange and making a bad impression

[just-dino-maggie]

trevor zegras 61 pls

Thank you for the request!! I hope you enjoy this little imagine!

61. “I thought you knew.”

Trevor Zegras and I have never been friends. We are civil, professional. It’s how it should be. I’m the on the social media team for the Anaheim ducks, I see the guys almost every day. I’ve made good friendships with most of them but Trevor and I never quite meshed.

I was upset about it at first. I thought he was cute and funny, especially around the other guys but around me he shuts down. He so uninterested in me and it’s frustrating. I decided after a little while not to let it get the better of me. I still makes sure I get his good side for all the pictures. I cant leave my girls out to dry. I may not get along with him but it’s easy to see the appeal.

It’s the Ducks media day today which is one of my favorite days of the year. I get to do what I do best. I take some fun behind the scenes videos, I help direct our photographers, and I get to hang out with the guys who have been away all summer.

I check my itinerary and the first person I have to do one on ones with is Trevor. I feel a little nervous but I know Trevor will preform well in front of the cameras.

I get the lighting and the cameras set up early. I make sure there is a comfortable chair for the guys to sit in. Cam Fowler joked about a metal chair being too harsh on his “old man back”. Once all of that is done I read over my questions to make sure I have them on lock.

I wait patiently for Trevor’s call time. He is usually on time but every once in a while he’s late. I try not to worry about it. I fiddle with the sleeves of my sweater and anticipate his arrival.

When I hear the door open I stand, Trevor walks through the door nonchalantly. “Hey Trevor,” I say putting on a bright smile. “You know the drill, do you mind putting this on?” I hand him one of the reverse retros.

He takes off his sweater and I try not to notice the way his undershirt lifts up as he does it. Unfortunately my brain has chosen to take that information and not let it go. “When you’re ready you can sit right here and we can get started.”

We start filming and he’s amazing as usual. He might be my favorite to film. The other guys are awesome behind the scenes but the only time I get to see Trevor be himself is on camera. He let’s loose in some ways because people have come to expect his vibrant personality.

“Trevor that was great! I think we’re all set!” He doesn’t answer me. He just starts grabbing his things and getting ready to head to his next call time. I don’t know why it bugged me so much. His silence just felt dismissive and it hurt. “You are aware that you can be nice to me right? I get that you don’t like me very much but you can at least pretend.”

“I’m not trying to be rude, I just don’t know what to say.” He turns to look at me, “I don’t dislike you.”

I roll my eyes, “Right you don’t dislike me you’re just put off by my presence.”

“I thought you knew.” He says, confusion written on his face.

I throw my hands up in defeat, “You thought I knew what Trevor?”

“About the rule with the interns.” He sighs, “In Highschool I was an idiot and I screwed around with an intern at USA hockey. She ended up being related to a coach and things got complicated. I told myself I would never try anything with an intern ever again. So because I’m attracted to you I stayed away from you.”

I pause for a second trying to register his words in my brain. He has a rule about interns? He’s attached to me? Oh my gosh Trevor Zegras is attracted to me. “I’m not an intern.” I say then I mentally slap myself right after.

He smirks, “You’re right, you aren’t an intern and you definitely aren’t coaches’ niece. Maybe I should stop treating you like you are.”

“Yeah,” I agree. “Maybe we could be friends?”

He smiles, “Yeah something like that… I’ll see you after the shoot?”

I nod then I wave him out the door. I can feel the blush on my cheeks and the smile on my face. I don’t even care because Trevor might really like me after all.

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras imagine #nhl imagine #anaheim ducks #cam fowler #jack hughes #usa hockey #usntdp

[violetjedisylveon]

It is Disability Pride Month!

I would suggest using the opportunity to learn more about all the different disabilities and how they impact the lives of people with them, and how that struggle is made worse by ablism in our society.

Take the chance to learn from actual disabled people, talk to us and hear our stories, listen to us when we tell you how to help us and make our society more functional and accessible.

Learn about disabled history, about the crimes and injustices done to disabled people. Look up disabilty holocaust and you will get a bunch of articles on what the nazis did to disabled people. It's depressing, but important to learn.

Disability isn't a bad word, it's an accurate description unlike calling someone differently abled. They aren't the same. Disability = not abled, like not able to walk because you are a leg amputee, not being able to do things like everyone else because you have no executive function capabilities. Differently abled = something like left handed, you are still fully abled, you just do it differently but you do it without any aid or tools.

My friend @poeticallydisgraced gave that example when our school put up a sign about recognizing differently abled students. And I think that fits the situation very well.

If you're curious, I've given a bit of a description of my experience under the cut.

Happy disability pride month!

I am nuerodivergent, Audhd, I have autism and Adhd. I also have chronic health issues with severe allergies and I get some bad migraines. I have hearing issues too but wouldn't call myself hard of hearing, it's more of a disconnect between what's said and what I hear. Makes for some entertaining conversations.

I tend to get over stimulated in social settings, too much noise and too many people really mess with me, light and sound trigger my migraines which can last for days, which is never fun.

I have no social awareness, and can't tell the difference between teasing and bullying, the line is super blurred/non existent for me.

This causes a lot of problems, because when people make those jokes and tease me, I don't get it, and to me it's rude and mean, but it also goes the other way cause when I joke I cross a line I can't see, and then everyone gets mad at me even though I'm doing the same thing as them.

I technically have a minor hearing loss in my left ear from a surgery as a child, but I had started having those hearing issues during the phase of development where you learn to speak, so my understanding of language is a bit skewed and I frequently hear things wrong, or don't hear the words said and have to ask for people to repeat it.

My family is starting to get annoyed and won't repeat anything but it's not like I'm choosing to do it, and it is very frustrating when they refuse to repeat it.

All these things leave me feeling a little isolated from my family and people around me.

I am expected to change and be someone else that is more acceptable to nuerotypical society, I jump through hoops and put on an act to appear less different, I've always been singled out as weird and other, and while no one has bullied me, at least that I was aware of, I got left behind by my peers.

The constant masking and acting like something I am not is exhausting, after a week of school I am fully drained of my energy and ability to put on that act.

My mom has gotten upset that I don't act the way I do at school at home, but I shouldn't have to act like a different person with my family.

I am not ashamed to be nuerodiverse and disabled, no one should be shamed or looked down on for something they can't control. A lot still needs to be done to make our society accessible to everyone, the current disability protection and aid laws are insufficient and full of loopholes that allow for disabled people to be ignored.

Have fun learning!

Happy disability pride month!

#disabilities #disabled people #disability #deaf #deaf culture #deafness #blindness #hard of hearing #sign language #visual impairment #leg amputee #arm amputee #Amputee #Mobile disability #wheelchair #wheelchair user #disability awareness #chronic pain #chronic illness #chronic condition #chronic health issues #chronic health problems #migraine #nuerodivergent #nuerodiversity #autism #autistic #audhd #Adhd #Disability Pride Month

[mueritos]

hmngh. I have therapy today but Im going to bring up what I feel like are my autistic traits to my therapist. Inserting a read more cuz this got long, but if youre autistic, I would really appreciate some input/advice. This is just so long because I desperately am just searching for some sort of validation or anything really, but I guess its also practice to advocate for myself.

 She has said in past sessions that if I were autistic i’d be too “high functioning”, but I didnt have the knowledge or words or the introspection then to explain myself better. Ive been reading, taking lots of tests, watching a lot of videos, and reading up on autistic experiences. I relate to quite a bit of it and it has been both validating and equally as confusing. I keep doubting myself at every little thing, like doesn’t everyone feel like this? But i am an introverted possibly autistic person surrounded by friends who are extroverts with adhd, and the differences in our experiences has always been normal to me through the “introvert vs extrovert” perspective. Still, I wore my noise cancelling headphones to a music festival in my home town when out with friends and I felt like it really helped me calm down from the noise and the massive amount of people. Ive been letting myself rock when Im doing things, even if my mom points it out and tells me to stop. Ive been saying no to social gatherings for months now under the guise of “i have work to do”, but really its because I genuinely don’t know how to talk to people when its more than 3 of us in a gathering. I end up getting overwhelmed when people are talking over each other, and its always been worse when they’re drinking. I can handle my extrovert friends sober, but drunk is another story. Suddenly I feel the urge to cover my ears when someone says something a little too loud, I cringe when they speak over each other. I’ve had past experiences of people being excited/loud and I want to cringe from the noise and cover my ears, but I can’t because that would look rude. I don’t express myself the same way as others, and I am constantly confused by questions like “are you excited for __?” or “are you sad to be leaving ___?” No? I’m not, I genuinely don’t know what excitement feels like. I like when things have a start and an end, and I will never feel sad for something to end. I’ve stumped my friends and family when I told them I didn’t feel anything toward studying abroad, toward university, etc and etc. Sure I can feel momentary excitement and happiness, but it’s always been internal. I stress when I receive gifts because I worry I don’t look happy enough.

Like...it’s not normal for people to become irrationally angry or agitated when people burst into my room while Im drawing, right? It breaks my focus, and it’s so frustrating because now I can’t go back to what I was doing. I get irrationally angry when people express their happiness or excitement, because I don’t understand it. It confuses me, like why can’t you keep that inside like me? The last time I expressed true happiness was when I saw an email for a potential client, and I stared shaking my hands. It felt so good, but I would never do that in front of other people. “I’m excited” isn’t even part of my vocabulary is what I say often, but it’s true. It doesnt make sense to me to let everyone in the room know how im feeling. My emotions are very stagnant and I often don’t feel what I am actually feeling until theyre at extremes. I struggle with eating on time or if theres no routine. It’s why summer has always been the worst for me, because theres no longer classes or planned breaks for me to follow. I have mental schedules for each day and if they don’t get done or are disrupted, I get really upset because I expected for things to be done. I wasn’t always good at group work, and I had to learn really hard to be a good leader and not take control of everything. Most of my language and body language is based off what I learned from watching TV, and I remember struggling to be understood by others because of that and because of my speech impediment, which I still struggle with now. I remember getting in trouble in school over things that I thought were socially acceptable because I saw them being done in shows, like being “mean” to people. I followed rules very strictly and other kids found me annoying for it because I would snitch on them for it. I only really ever had one close friend up to high school, where thankfully I found a group of people who were just as weird and as queer as I was.

I constantly get asked if I’m okay because I look upset or sad. Apparently my RBF is that strong, because people have even been intimidated by me. I don’t look people in the eye when I am walking around, I kinda just stomp around because I’m faking being confident because I get so anxious by people staring at me. Eye contact has felt invasive for a long time, especially by strangers. I need large amounts of alone time to feel okay. The worst was when I was working 8am to 9pm for a BIPOC/Queer four day program for my campus. That was literal hell. I have never talked to so many people for so long in my life, and I hope I never have to ever again. I didn’t know it wasn’t normal for someone to get so socially exhuasted that you just withdraw completely. I couldn’t fathom speaking after a few hours, getting words out felt literally painful. All I could do when I got home was sleep and do it all over again. If someone tried talking to me when I got home, I was agitated and couldn’t control it. We had to take group photos and I couldn’t even fake a smile; my face muscles hurt and they began twitching. My inability to fake emotions has always been a problem, and Ive had facial twitching from trying to smile in the past during parties and other gatherings. I also feel like I hurt people when I tell them I dont miss them. I don’t think Ive ever felt like Ive missed anyone. I am perfectly fine on my own, and I think my independence makes other people feel like I dont love them. I struggle in romantic relationships because I feel like I dont show affection in a very traditional sense. Light touching feels awful, but when my boyfriends lays on top of me, it’s like I’m at peace and it feels awesome.

idk. I cud go on and on about this but my ignorance toward social situations, my sensory issues that I cant hide anymore, my difficulty with feeling emotions, and I suppose the way my intelligence was always used as a way to ignore all of these issues; it all has been catching up to me. Maybe it was the pandemic. I loved being at home, but the lack of routine made me depressed. I love wearing masks so people dont look at me and I can hide my deadpan face. Idk. Its just been a bit overwhelming lately as I let myself slowly be more in tune with whats happening. I dont know if i want an official diagnosis, but I guess I just want to feel like im not a freak for being different than my peers. Ive always felt behind them

If u read this far pheww thanks but now u know a lot more about my pysche than some of my friends haha. Its just been hard because my friends are starkly different than me, even if they are ND as well.

o well. guess ill figure things out

#muertotalks #asd #we'll see how todays therapy session goes #i was looking at my old middle skool diary and i got kinda sad #i was struggling so hard to fit and i was so depressed #i couldnt understand why my mind hated me and why it was so hard to be in school #sure i was feeling gender dysphoria without knowing it #but so much of what i reread sounded like...autistic burnout... #idk #we'll see #ive always been the weird kid #boutta add another weird warrior cat kid to the autistic ranks

[dashhoney25]

SB: seventeen

NATASHA

Turning over in bed, the aroma of breakfast tickled my nose. I groaned to myself as reality set in. I sat up in bed and pulled my phone from the nightstand, unlocking my phone to check my text thread with Adonis, and to my surprise, no response.

 Regret set in, the message read ‘delivered’. He could’ve read the message and ignored it for all I knew. I picked myself out of bed and walked into the on-suite bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to find a shirtless King making breakfast.

“Good morning” he exclaimed. I opened the fridge and grabbed the gallon of orange juice and two glasses from the cabinet, “Morning” I replied lowly. As I poured the two glasses of orange juice, King placed my plate of pancakes, bacon, and eggs on the table. After fixing his plate, he took a seat and took a sip of his orange juice. “Thank you” he replied.

I took a seat at the table, blessed my food, and ate a forkful of eggs. “You know you didn’t have to cook breakfast” I exclaimed. “It’s fine. It would be rude of me to only cook for myself.” King expressed. My facial expression changed as I dropped my fork. This nigga had a lot of nerve. King immediately rushed over to pick up the fork. I struggled to grab the fork, and he got it before I could. “You don’t have to—“ “I didn’t mean it like that Tash” King interrupted, looking me in my eyes. “It would be rude of me to eat without you. That’s what I meant” King reassured as he got up from the ground and placed the dirty fork in the sink.

My chest heaved up and down slowly as he handed me a clean fork from the drawer, I was still on edge for how he treated me last night, and I’m a bit salty about not getting a text back from Adonis. I glared at King as he returned to his seat. “I’m sorry if I upset you” he added. Cutting to the chase, I interrupted his ‘nice boy’ act. “Is this some kind of peace offering from last night?!” I asked at an octave. King chuckled to himself, “Damn, we still not over this?” he questioned. I stood to my feet with one hand on my hip, “You tell me. You’re the one with the ‘nice boy’ act cooking me breakfast and shit.” I scoffed.

 King took a bite of his bacon and wiped his hands with a napkin, the look in his eyes read that he was fed up. “I’m not tryna argue this morning. It’s a new day. Whatever we said to each other last night, is what we said. Why are you still…. Hostile?” King questioned as he stood to his feet, towering over me. My eyes locked with King’s as his expression was cold and unchanging, his jaw clenched, and his skin as golden as ever. I was turned on by his ‘I don’t need you’ attitude. I couldn’t help but feel my heart strings being pulled as I watched the tension between us brew, my eyes traced his tattoos and chiseled body.

I caved internally the longer I stared at him. I squared my eyes at him, trying to gain my composure as I felt the bad bitch energy in me dying. My mind played back to last night and all of those feelings came rushing in. I sighed heavily before speaking. “Jermaine, I felt rejected last night and… to tell you the truth, I’m not over it” I admitted. King knew that anytime that I called him by his government name, it meant that I was serious; for some reason, it was like a soft spot for him.

King sighed in frustration and sucked his teeth. He relaxed his shoulders and proceeded to rest his hands on my shoulders. “What do you want me to do?” he asked in a softer tone. The sensation of his skin against mine caused my skin to flush, my face immediately turned red and he knew it. I felt hot internally, I even smiled a little. Deep down, all I could think about was Adonis, and why I made him leave, I’m still just so unhappy and uneasy about the fact that he’s married. I caressed King’s wrists and stared into his eyes. I felt that rubbing them, maybe the pain would go away. If I stared at him any longer, maybe I could forget all about Adonis, and King and I could pick up where we left off.

 King took my hand and caressed it, staring in my eyes. He placed his hand on my waist and moved closer to me. “I don’t wanna entice you, when we’re both hurting. I can’t help you, when I can’t even help myself” King spoke softly. I felt my heart drop into my ass at those words, and a tear instantly fell from my cheek. We were interrupted by my phone ringing on the table. I quickly moved away from King and answered immediately. “Hi Ms. Daniels, this is Dr. James, how are you this morning?” she questioned. “Cassandra! Dr. James, I’m fine, how are you?” I replied. “I’m well. I’m so sorry to bother you. We just got your results back from the lab and I was calling to see if you could come in so that we could speak about them” Dr. James added. I walked over to the window, away from King and felt panic set in. “Sure, is everything okay?” I questioned nervously.

“I have a few questions for you, I’d love to discuss them when you get here. I’ll be in the office until 2:30, see you then Ms. Daniels” Dr. James replied before hanging up. I kissed my teeth in annoynace, feeling a rush of nervousness and anxiousness shoot through my body. “Everything okay?” King asked walking up behind me. I jumped and turned around, “I have to go to Dr. James’ office” I said nervously.

 “Want me to go with you?” King asked eagerly. “I’d rather you not. I think I can handle this” I say anxiously leaving the kitchen.

 I arrived at Dr. James’ office in a hurry. After speaking with her assistant, I patiently waited for her as I clutched my camel Birkin bag nervously waiting for her to appear.

A few moments later, Dr. Cassandra James walked in happily greeting me. “Thanks for meeting with me on short notice Natasha” she said before taking a seat. “it’s no problem” I said anxiously with a smile. “So I wanted to get right to it, I didn’t want to discuss this over the phone, but, your labs were pretty abnormal” Dr. James stated. I looked at her with confusion, “Is the baby going to be okay?” I asked with concern. “Ms. Daniels, your baby will be fine. As long as you take these meds accordingly, have a talk with Mr. Umaru, and come back to see me within a week”. “Meds? What do I need to talk to Jermaine about?” I asked in confusion.

I felt like Dr. James was beating around the bush, and I didn’t want to mince words, but I know she wouldn’t have called me to her office about pre-natal care. I didn’t want to be informal, but I had to go there, this lady has seen all my business, and will be delivering my child in the coming months. “Cassandra, can you tell me what’s going on?!” I asked in suspicion. Dr. James sighed, “Natasha, your labs came back abnormal because you’ve contracted chlamydia” she spoke softly.

I stared at my doctor in disbelief. I was emotionless, frozen, yet boiling on the inside. The thought of all possible partners between King and I in the past year scanned through my mind and my heart felt heavy. She couldn’t be serious. There is no way that Adonis would do me like that, and King sure as hell wouldn’t... Or would they?

“I’m sure there’s been a mistake Dr. James. Could you run it again? I—” “I’m sorry, Ms. Daniels, I was just as surprised as you are, but these are the results. I know that things happen, and there are certain things that we can’t control, but let’s focus on the health of your baby. You and your spouse can discuss the nature of your relationship once you leave this office” she encouraged. I had never felt so humiliated in my life to hear those words. I dropped my head and listened to Dr. James’ instructions as she handed me the prescription.

 **

I left the office in disbelief. I don’t know how I’m going to get home with this on my mental, but this would be the longest drive of my life. Dr. James encouraged me to take deep breaths, relax, and refrain from expressing my emotions negatively, as this can cause more stress on the body and harm to the baby. Damn whatever she has to say right now, I’m not in the mood for any calm shit! I need answers as to who gave me this shit!

I got in my car and I immediately called Adonis. He forwarded my call to voicemail. “Not today! NOT TODAY ADONIS!” I yelled as I clicked his name to call him back. Again, he sent me to voicemail. I huffed angrily and sent him a text message, “CONDO! RIGHT NOW!”

 ADONIS

I’m laying in bed next to Mercedes when I see Natasha’s name pop up on my phone. I’m still getting out of the doghouse after I put my hands on Mercedes by accident. What could Natasha want right now? “Is everything okay?" Mercedes asked as she snuggled up under me. I kissed her forehead. “Of course” I reassured. I was placing my phone back on the nightstand, when another call from Natasha came through.

“Can I just get some peace and quiet today?” I huffed in annoyance. “Just turn your phone off” Mercedes says as she sits up to look at me. As soon as I rejected the call, a text from Natasha read “CONDO! RIGHT NOW!” I sighed and looked at Mercedes’ longing eyes. “I’ll turn it off as soon as I get back babe, there’s some shit going on at the gym that I have to take care of it” I lied, getting out of bed.

Mercedes sighed in annoyance, “I promise I won’t take all day. I’ll be back soon” I said pulling her into a kiss. “And you better be!” she chimed. “I love you” Mercedes urged. “Love you too” I replied solemnly. I knew in my heart that last night didn’t change anything between Mercedes and I. I was wrong for putting my hands on her, and in a moment of weakness, I seized the opportunity to give her what she wanted, and I provided the sex that she desperately craved.

 I took a quick shower and headed out the door. I received a text from Tasha letting me know that she lost her key, and to meet her at her car. I knew she was lying about losing her key, she probably trashed that shit once I told her about Mercedes and I being married, I can’t say that I blame her.

 I pulled up next to her black BMW and got out of the car to greet her. She was on her phone, and I tapped on the window. Natasha rolled down the window, “What’s good?” I asked. She didn’t make eye contact at all. She locked her phone and looked straight ahead, “Can we go inside and talk?” she asked lowly. “What you do with your key? I know you didn’t lose that shit” I said playfully, biting my lip, knowing that would get her attention. Natasha glared at me. Her eyes were puffy and red, as if she’d been crying. The longer we stared at each other, the more tears swelled in her eyes and fell. I stuck my hand in the car to unlock the door. I opened the door and pulled her into a tight embrace, pulling her out of the car, closing the door behind us. Her hands were on the back of my neck as she pulled from my embrace and we locked eyes.

I felt a strange feeling pulling at my chest, and I knew that I couldn’t ignore it. Natasha’s tearful eyes searched mine as we stood there in silence, holding each other.

 NATASHA

His embrace, and the scent of his cologne swept me off of my feet. It’s only been a day, maybe two and here I am, in his arms. I hated him for how he made me feel the other night, but I craved his touch so much that I couldn’t deny myself of this moment. Pulling away from his embrace, I rested my hand on Adonis’ chest. “I hate you” I said lowly, looking away into the distance.

Adonis moved closer to me and pressed his body onto mine against the car, he lifted my chin to adjust my focus to him. “You don’t mean that” he whispered softly. My thumb grazed his bottom lip, “But I do” I said feeling my heart sink in my chest. Adonis looked away from me, and I could tell he started to get choked up as his jaw clenched. “Let your window up, we need to go inside and talk” he exhaled.

I grabbed my purse, let up my window, and locked the car door. I followed Adonis into the building. Once inside his condo, I dropped my purse on the couch and stood by the window that gave a beautiful view of the city. “You wanna tell me why it was so urgent that we needed to meet?” he questioned. “Am I interrupting a moment between you and your wife?” I questioned sarcastically. Adonis scoffed and looked at me snidely, “I’ma let that one slide, just because” he kissed his teeth. I rolled my eyes in annoyance and walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.

Taking a sip, I glared at Adonis, who stood at the other side of the kitchen. “Maybe we should consider going separate ways Donnie” I admitted. Adonis walked towards the island took a chair out in front of me to take a seat. “Where’s this coming from?”  he asked. I shrugged my shoulders and looked in his eyes, “I mean think about it. You’re married, I no longer have use for this condo, and I’m pregnant. Why don’t we cut ties now and just live separate lives? Neither one of us want to let go of our significant others, but being in the moment with each other leads us into uncompromising situations, such as this pregnancy” I confess. Adonis took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Baby, I’m sorry for how all of this has turned out, and I’m sorry for the unfortunate circumstance that I’m in with Mercedes. Tasha, I can’t cut ties with you… not like this” Adonis remarked. He got out of his chair and towered over me. Lifting my chin with his index finger, Adonis lowered his gaze to mine. “You know how much I care about you” he whispered. “D, that’s not enough for me… not anymore” I said lowly, feeling myself get choked up. Adonis swiftly picked me up and placed me on the island, standing in between my legs.

Adonis placed small kisses to my neck, and I quickly moved away. “D, I can’t… I can’t give you that part of me anymore” I argued. Ignoring my rejection, Adonis pulled me into a rough, but passionate kiss. This kiss that had been brewing between us since we laid eyes on each other. I threw my arms around him and wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him into me as close as possible. The tips of my fingers grazed through his scalp as I let out a soft moan in between kisses. Adonis caressed my body fervently, groaning at the feeling. I pulled away from his embrace and stared in his eyes as mine watered. I wanted nothing more than to give myself to him on top of this island, right here, right now. “Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it for you. I’ll be better, for us Tash” Adonis confessed, breathing heavily.

Adonis wiped my tears as I pulled him into another long, deep, kiss. Adonis groped and yoked my body up so quickly. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me as he laid me on the island so gently, placing kisses down my stomach. I felt myself getting hotter as the kisses intensified and all resolve left my body. The lower Adonis kissed me, the louder Dr. James’ voice echoed in my head, “Natasha, your labs came back abnormal because you’ve contracted chlamydia”. In that moment, I sat up on the island instantly and pushed Adonis away. “I can’t… I can’t… I CAN’T!” I yelled in tears. “What the fuck Tash?!” Adonis shot back. “This is all your fault, and I can no longer be a part of it. Adonis I’m tired.” I said wiping my tears. “I’m tired of you manipulating me into thinking that it’s just ‘us’ in the moment. In the moment with each other, it’s all that we have, and Adonis, these moments are costing me my life!” I yelled at him. “Where is this coming from?” Adonis asked confused. “YOU! Everything that I do with you, it comes back to me! TENFOLD! I can’t take this shit anymore!” I snapped. Adonis pulled me down from the island and held me by the waist. “How about we just relax? I didn’t mean to aggravate you. I’m sure it’s just the hormones” Adonis cooed as he brushed my hair behind my ears. My eyes widened in anger, “Hormones?! Don’t sugarcoat shit with me Adonis.” I say pulling out of his embrace. Adonis took his seat in front of the island and adjusted himself, he looked frustrated and defeated. “Explain to me Tash. Why would I leave from the comfort of my bed with Mercedes, just for you to play with me , either you want me or you don’t” Adonis stated matter of fact. Perplexed, I squared my eyes at Adonis. “Explain to me why you throw her name around so confidently yet I bet she doesn’t know where you are right now.” I snapped. “It’s none of her business” Adonis replied.

 “This isn’t getting us anywhere and you know it. If you ‘love’ her like you say you do, stop answering my calls and texts and just let me be. Stop trying to get the last drop of me on your tongue. Stop trying to fight what you know you aren’t ready for.” I argued. “You wanted me for yourself, and once I was no longer of use for you, you chose the person who you refuse to knock up, to spend the rest of your life with.” I spat. “It’s not true.. Tash. You know I’m a man of my word” Adonis chimed. “What does that have to do with anything?!” I questioned. “It has to do with everything! Tasha, I know I’m not perfect, and I know I haven’t been the best to you, but dammit I don’t know how to show you that I’m here for you, that I’m here for us” Adonis pleaded. “God! I can’t let you continue to play in my face like this shit is okay! Fuck your damn word and just admit that you’re a fucking cheater but you don’t wanna let her go!” I yell. “If you love her, stop dragging me along! Leave me be so that I can figure this shit out on my own. Clearly you’re not man enough to keep your word for me. I was never enough for you, I never mattered to you” I said feeling myself getting emotional.

“Tash you know that’s not true” Adonis began, “Adonis, I don’t know what to believe anymore. You’ve fooled me, impregnated me, and you’ve given me chlamydia!” I barked. “Chlamydia?! I…” Adonis’ expression changed immediately. “I’m sorry! You know I wouldn’t” Adonis said trying to touch me. My hand swatted at his face immediately. “No you’re not fucking sorry!!! You did exactly what you wanted to do with me!!!” I yelled continuously hitting him in the face. Adonis pushed me away, “Tasha I wouldn’t dare! You’re carrying my child, you know that I’ve only been with you and Mercedes.” Adonis pleaded. “I need you to know that I wouldn’t put you or my child in harms way.” Adonis reassured.

“I think it’s best that I leave you to figure out how I got chlamydia, while I sort out the details of who the father is. Whether King wants to be in this child’s life or not, I’m raising this baby on my own, without you. I don’t need the key to this condo anymore, and I don’t need you to fill the void for me. All I need to be, is a damn good mother to my child!” I spat. I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. Adonis was on my heels, and he stopped me before I could turn the doorknob. “I need you to know that I’d never—” I placed my finger over Adonis’ lips, “Take it up with your fucking wife. Stay the fuck away from me, and don’t contact me about this child” I snapped before walking out of the condo.

@prettyisasprettydoes1306 @novaniskye @admirehermind @just-peachee @just-juicee @harleycativy @soufcakmistress @chaneajoyyy @cecereads209 @ladymac82 @hearteyes-for-killmonger @koriireads @cosmiclunarprincess-fanfic @callmemckenzieee @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @msreshel @amorestevens @kkrown @killmonger-fics @19jammmy @themeirajay @uzumaki-rebellion @rbhp @honeyandpeaches @shalynn-m @liviareads @honeytoffee @killmongerkink @thickemadame @thehomierobbstark @raeluvsbloodline @all-other-thingz @melodicheauxxo @melodicheauxxo-writes @kumkaniudaku @sweet2krazee @artsninspo @astoldbychae @tchallasbabymama @cleo92bitch-i-am-old @kittehkwrites @mermaidchansons @thiccdaddy-mbaku @michaelbwriting @wakandamama @readingaddict1290 @blackqueengoddess7 @goddessofthundathighs @killmongerdispussy

#jojo #Erik Killmonger #original story #killmonger smut #killmonger imagine #erik stevens #fanfiction #seduction #!oc #adonis creed x reader #adonis creed x imagine #adonis creed x smut #erik oc #dashhoney25

[videogamedogbracket]

i rly dont mean this to be rude or anything, but maybe you shouldnt go onto tumblr if youre just after a stressful shift? most jokes about fictional characters are just... jokes, if theyre upsetting you then you should take a break and distance yourself until youre in a headspace where stuff like that wouldnt bother you. to be frank, these are just tumblr polls, and people are going to treat them as such. none of these jokes are personal attacks (unless stated, and if so thats a dif situation altogether), and no other fans of these characters are getting their feelings hurt. anyone following a tumblr poll blog knows that theres going to be fake vitriol involved, part of the fun is people jokingly taking these way more seriously than would otherwise be expected

these polls are meant to be enjoyable for everyone, including you. theres nothing wrong with feeling upset but this is a situation that you can absolutely avoid most of that upset until youre in a better mood and can handle it. you have no obligation to anyone on here so take the time you need to relax and regain some emotional energy or whatever so that you can enjoy it

Okay, first off, sorry it took so long for me to answer this ask. I was trying to figure out what, exactly, I wanted to say in response, and to be honest I’m still not entirely sure. But I also didn’t want to just leave this sitting in my inbox or delete it, since I don’t want any good-faith messages to go ignored.

I suppose you do have a point, although to be honest I think my frustration was less about the actual content of the comments/tags and more about the fact that I’d already asked multiple times for people not to do that. I do think you’re right that my job also contributed to it though 💀

Honestly I think the whole “please don’t say rude things” rule just stems from me being autistic and having difficulties with sarcastic negativity and jokes like that. I can’t always tell if they’re actually jokes or not, and I definitely can’t speak for other people, but I do get kind of uncomfortable seeing them myself, lol. And of course the last thing I want is for anybody else to get upset seeing someone insult their fave.

#ask #literally spent like 20 minutes writing and rewriting this response lmao

[anonymousewrites]

Curse to My Heart Chapter Four

Chapter Four: On the Eve

            “Damn it all!” Loki hurled his latest book into his pile of abandoned tomes and slumped down in his seat, gazing out his castle’s library window in frustration.

            “Loki, you’ve read and reread every book on curses you own,” said Sylvie in annoyed exhaustion.

            “There must be a way to break it. There must,” muttered Loki. “Tomorrow the boy turns eighteen. I must find a cure immediately.”

            “You can’t,” said Sylvie firmly. “I know it upsets you, but you ensured only True Love’s Kiss could break the spell. Scour every book a hundred times and you will still find nothing.” Her gaze softened as she looked at Loki. “You wanted Quentin to never have hope of breaking it on his own, so you made the curse strong.”

            Loki’s eyes turned sorrowful. “But I must because…” He searched for the words, but they did not come easily without a swath of emotions. “Because I must be honorable. Like her.”

            “Because you’re in love with her.” Sylvie said it plainly, no question in it. She heard it in how Loki spoke of (Y/N), how he looked at her.

            Loki froze. “I—I do not. I simply understand that the boy is not at fault for his father’s sins, and as (Y/N) does, I should comport myself with more…Well, not humility, but honor.”

            “Yes, and that’s why you have neither eaten nor slept since (Y/N) left yesterday,” muttered Sylvie.

            “Instead of teasing me, you could try to help,” snapped Loki.

            Sylvie raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. She would not take Loki being rude to her. She might owe him a debt and help him, but she was no servant. They were friends.

            Loki sighed. “Apologies, Sylvie. I…I struggle to control myself at this moment.”

            Sylvie pursed her lips and sighed. “I will travel to the fae villages and see if I can discover any helpful information.” She walked to the door before pausing and looking back. “I think (Y/N) might respect you for trying, you know.”

            “But after Peter falls asleep, she won’t. She’ll remember that I should simply have never cast that spell,” said Loki.

            “Maybe,” said Sylvie. “But I think if she was really that stubborn, she would have slapped you the moment you turned up at that cottage. She seems like the type.”

l

            “Alright, all done up, looking sharp, your father will be so excited to see you,” said Banner, rambling as he finished buttoning Peter’s embellished vest.

            As he continued muttering to himself about how glad he was to be going away from this tiny cottage, Banner walked out of the room, picking up items he, Thor, and Valkyrie were taking with them as he went. (Y/N) sighed and put her hand on Peter’s shoulder, who was quiet through all of the preparations.

            “How are you feeling, Peter?” asked (Y/N).

            “I want to stay here,” he answered softly. “I don’t know the King. You’re the one who raised me—this is my home. I don’t want to leave.”

            “I know, Peter, neither do I,” said (Y/N). She squeezed Peter’s shoulder.

            “What’s going to happen when I get there?” questioned Peter worriedly.

            “You’ll be properly crowned the Crown Prince.” (Y/N) sighed. “King Quentin will teach you to rule properly.”

            “And you?” Peter looked at her worriedly. “What will happen to you?”

            (Y/N) shrugged. “I go back to my job as a maid.” She smiled. “I was just upgraded to babysit you, you brat.”

            Peter smiled slightly, her attempt to cheer him up working a bit. “I’m going to miss you. I’ll try to still see you.” He perked up. “Maybe I could get the King to you a title for all that you’ve done.”

            (Y/N) waved a hand. “That’s nice of you, but I doubt that’s going to happen.” She made a face. “Men are the one’s given titles for acts of bravery.” She shrugged. “Maybe I’ll just drop you off and make a run for it.”

            Peter’s face fell. “You’d just leave me?”

            Goddamn it, thought (Y/N), her resolve failing as the boy she raised looked at her sadly. “No, no. I’ll stay. Don’t have the money to runoff anyways.” She gave Peter a final pat on the shoulder. “Let’s go. The fairies will go into conniptions if we wait any longer.”

            Peter sighed. “I wish I could have said goodbye to MJ.”

            Me too, Peter. Me too, thought (Y/N) ruefully. She glanced out the window to where the trees of the fae kingdom loomed above the thorn wall, visible even from this distance. And I wish I could have said goodbye to Loki.

l

            “Announcing his highness, Prince Peter!” said Thor with his booming voice as he opened the Great Hall’s doors with his magic.

            Banner, Thor, and Valkyrie walked into the hall confidently as hushed whispers started up among the lords and ladies who had been expectantly awaiting Peter’s return. Poor Peter shifted uncomfortably until (Y/N) gave him an encouraging nudge forward. The group walked down the aisle to the large dais where Quentin, now the sole ruler of the kingdom, sat in his large, imposing throne. He looked down at the approaching people with a relaxed body but cold, calculating eye.

            He rose from his thrown and threw out his arms, his green and purple robes swaying with his movement to showcase their ornate velvet material. The lords and ladies looked at his expensive, showy look with jealousy and respect, but (Y/N) remain unimpressed. The finest clothes she had seen, after all, were on a very different man. One (Y/N) felt very differently about.

            “Welcome!” Quentin greeted them magnanimously. “My son, your return has been anticipated with much excitement!” He descended from the dais, letting his clothes trail behind him.

            (Y/N) was struck by how thin and tired he looked beneath his jewels and robes. The years had not been kind to him as his stress and fear of Loki built into an insanity to protect himself. But Quentin still struggled to maintain a dignified personality, and no one saw through it. But (Y/N) did. Unlike the lords and ladies, she knew the truth of Quentin’s dealings with Loki.

            Quentin shook each of the fairies’ hands. “Thank you for watching over my son. I owe you much.” He did not look at (Y/N) at all.

            Asshole, she thought.

            He turned to his court, grabbed Peter’s hand, and raised it above his head. “He shall spend his final night as a boy here, in the safety of the castle! And tomorrow, our victory against that witch Loki will be absolute!”

            Peter glanced back at (Y/N) uncomfortably, not just because he didn’t view the King as his father. (Y/N) had explained the curse to Peter and who had cast it, but she, unlike the fairies, told him the complete truth—Loki had watched over him and regretted his actions. Peter knew the curse mays till come to fruition, but he understood that Loki no longer held malice in his heart towards Peter. He also knew that (Y/N) cared for Loki, and hearing about him seemed to upset her in the last few days.

            Peter did not say anything, he knew the fairies didn’t know about their encounters or how much Peter knew about the situation that they didn’t, but he could not help worrying for the woman he saw as a mother. She was sad. He didn’t like it. But Peter forced a smile onto his face for his “father.” Perhaps Loki’s regret would break the curse, stop it. Maybe he and (Y/N) could take Peter away from the castle and they could live free for the rest of their lives.

            “Come, my boy, we have much to speak about,” said Quentin, pulling Peter from his thoughts.

            Peter smiled uncomfortably. “Right.”

l

            “I hated that,” muttered Peter as (Y/N) led him into his room. Guards were outside, waiting to lock the door so Peter couldn’t find a spindle to prick his finger on once the clock chimed midnight.

            “You survived it,” said (Y/N). “And now you just have to survive tonight.” She took a deep breath and put her hands on Peter’s shoulders. “I promise that whatever happens tonight, I’ll be there, okay?”

            “And then…we can run away?” asked Peter.

            (Y/N) sighed. “If you make it through the night with absolutely no troubles, then sure, I’ll consider it.” She grinned. “But that’s only if you don’t do anything in desperation to prick your finger because ‘the curse compelled you.’ ”

            Peter smiled. “Deal!” He smirked. “And maybe go find Loki…?”

            “I don’t know why you’d want to see him,” said (Y/N), primly avoiding the insinuation.

            “Yeah you do,” said Peter.

            (Y/N) scowled (but she wasn’t really angry). “I don’t like your tone, young man.”

            Peter shrugged. “Fae kingdom seems as good a place as any to run away to.”

            “Would be the last place they’d think to look for us,” admitted (Y/N), rolling her eyes. “But that isn’t even a possibility until you make it through tonight, okay?”

            “Right,” said Peter, his face set in determination.

            “I have to head out, now,” said (Y/N), stepping back. She gave a lopsided grin and a wink. “Almost midnight, princess. Guards have to lock you up in your tower.”

            Peter smiled as she left. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

            “That’s the spirit,” called (Y/N) as the guards shut the door.

            And as she began the walk to her own quarters, the moon crept higher in the sky as the next day drew closer.

l

            (Y/N) felt oddly sluggish as she mounted the stairs. She paused and shook her head to clear it, but as she went, it only got worse. Her whole body felt heavy, like something was keeping her from moving properly. However, (Y/N) had no difficulty taking steps—in fact, she felt like a current was pushing her up. She just felt like her actions were not totally in her own control.

            It only worsened as she arrived at her room. (Y/N) felt like she was trapped within her own body, just a mind within a vessel acting on another’s whims.

            This can’t be good, she thought dismally.

            At least she could still think. It was the small things that really mattered, right? That and the fact she might be walking to her doom, but (Y/N) was trying not to think of that (it was more than a little depressing to think of, and she had enough on her plate).

            The door to her room swung open of its own accord, a slight green glow covering it as it revealed a mostly barren room within.

            Even worse.

            Her familiar bed and small chest for clothes sat on one side of the room, but (Y/N) could not look at them. Not because of her inability to control herself, no—the spinning wheel in the middle of the room was more immediately concerning.

            Well, that does it. I think this is the worst-case scenario.

            The spinning wheel was an ebony wood, carves with runes and little depictions of Loki and (Y/N)’s time together. Her heart clenched at the reminder of them more than it clenched at the fear of what was going to happen to her. For (Y/N)’s arm, unbidden, was raising as she continued forward, her hand level with the silver needle gleaming under the midnight moonlight.

            Wow…I must have offended Loki so much by refusing his offer that he cursed me. I knew he was petty.

            As much as (Y/N) tried to brush the severity of her situation aside, however, she knew the truth. Seeing her actions on the exact date the original curse was supposed to come to pass, she had thought back to that fateful day.

            I tried to protect Peter from the curse. I got hit instead, and the curse was general enough that it accepted me as the effected. (Y/N) wanted to be upset at herself, get annoyed for not realizing earlier or for stupidly moving to help Peter all those years ago, but she felt only pride and happiness.

            She had done something selflessly of her own free will. She had done something meaningful. She had protected Peter. Yes, it had unfortunately led to his moment where an endless sleep lay before her, but it was worth it.

            (Y/N) could only regret one thing as her finger touched the spindle—she would never be saved. Because True Love needed to be reciprocated, and she would never love whoever came for her. She loved Loki.

            A drop of blood beaded on her finger even as her eyes fluttered shut and she collapsed to the ground.

            I wish he loved me back.

#portal to my heart #loki fic #loki fanfic #loki odinson #loki #loki laufeyson #loki x reader #x reader #mcu #mcu x reader #marvel mcu #marvel x reader #marvel cinematic universe #marvel #au #disney au #disney #maleficent au #maleficent #sleeping beauty au #sleeping beauty

[arispensieve]

badly written ramblepost because I fucked up my entire brain on a bad trip and I am not feeling very resilient about it.

so. good news! no longer eel at all. bad news, have accidentally turned my brain to mush and am now doing the equivalent of gently spoonfeeding it after perhaps the worst mental experience of my life!

Not sure if it was the worst EVENT of my life (church shit, raf, losing em, pallas etc still have their place), but I can't remember a time I felt worse mentally right now and it made me suicidal again in the middle which scared the shit out of me

Piper was very good about it, said she has tripsat much worse than that, and said I was incredibly polite for someone having a bad trip which is a little bit ridiculous. Guess I've been training my whole life for this. No one is better at having non-disruptive panic attacks and then apologizing for them than I am by now. (This is probably a lie, but a lie with a grain of truth.)

Anyway she gave me a propranolol which was supposed to make me not traumatized by it (appreciated but considering how badly I'm shaking remembering it, seems to have been ineffective) and, when I begged her for something to knock me out and let me sleep through it and wake up normal, a fuckton of xanax. which also didn't do as much as I think they're supposed to do to other people, I just sat there suffering intensely until my muscles stopped holding me up and I keeled over and put my face in the security bucket I was hugging, at which point she made me lie down. I vaguely recall asking if I needed to go to the hospital, she said no. I also wanted to call my parents, though when I thought about it I realized they'd freak out, I didn't want to talk to them, and that wouldn't really help, but it was the same sense of I have made a mistake and I want out of this situation. I also didn't want to talk to Piper, and felt frustrated and panicked whenever she spoke, which made me feel like an asshole. I wanted to pretend I was somewhere else, I guess, and couldn't while she was talking.

It wasn't new, though, is the thing. It was basically a dialed up to 11 version of the same sensory overload meltdown thing that I used to get a lot more often when I was a kid, and most recently had on the way back from the eclipse. Except so much fucking worse.

But it wasn't new. I wasn't being shown the universe or anything, or having unusual thoughts that I couldn't handle. It really just reminded me of a dance in 7th grade when I lost my entire mind and had a similarly awful panic attack complete with the sense of I fucked up so bad and I want out of this situation RIGHT NOW. I hate where I am. I hate what I'm doing. I hate me. I need to leave. But I was already in one of the few places I generally feel safe, at the farm in Piper's bed. There was nowhere to go to fix the situation. And the feeling, though the same design and flavor, was so much worse than it had ever been before.

I think I said "If I die/if you kill me, does this stop", and Piper said we would pretend I didn't say that. I said sorry, but was too busy suffering to muster up much remorse. Still, I sternly told myself not to say that again, or anything else about dying. I went back to saying "I love you, I'm not mad at you, please please stop talking" anytime she opened her mouth, which was also quite rude of me but I thought if anyone talked to me I might start screaming and never stop. Also the quiet only lasted a few minutes tops each time so I had to keep saying it.

Anyway. I lay down, as instructed, and waited for something different to happen, or hopefully to die, which upset me a bit. I asked Piper to put on Pippin very very quietly, because of its good track record for unsuicidaling me, and she graciously did so. she also at some point wrote me a bunch of notes on the paper, which did not hurt my brain the way listening did, which I appreciated.

At that point I decided to risk messaging Grace, because I thought they might be slightly comforting and I realized that I could tolerate text. Sent them a message full of typos. They told me that they loved me and I was a person and they were very happy that I visited them because they'd had a shit week, and that made me feel better enough that I could open one eye when Extraordinary started playing and make my first comment, which was you're such a whiny bitch, Pippin.

He's the clown! said Piper. I winced, but it wasn't as bad anymore, so it seemed like I might be starting to push through it. Except I couldn't actually physically move at all from the absurd amount of xanax, which was kind of scary on its own and caused its own set of problems.

(those got more or less resolved in their interesting ways that I will not be writing down here, but I do think that's what saved me 10 times more than any propranolol because it was the only fun bit in a whole bunch of hell. I owe Piper like 200 for that alone let alone the entire trip but she just thinks it's funny and is way more embarrassed about some other thing I shall not name which I couldn't care less about so I guess it evens out)

Anyway I did eventually sleep. Woke up feeling fragile as hell and terrified of everything and like I just wanted to curl up somewhere and be treated gently. Piper sort of did that, but also seemed to want to have big conversations which I did not internally handle well, but frankly she was so good about actually tripsitting me she could talk about whatever she damn well needed to.

Still feel... fragile, and afraid, and tired, a day later. I don't like that at all.

[arjaysteez]

Throwing in the towel

I came into this career because I could not stand the push back and the more I waited the longer I strayed away from my goal of being a nurse. It sucks that money was involved and my position is to restart all over again.

Sleep technician

sounded so good on paper when my friend told me about it. The money, time, and freedom that it came with all sounded great. It was too good to be true. The position, schooling, and job was already aimed for. Took them months to schedule me a trainer (mind you I requested early April and didnt get scheduled 2nd week of July) With the trainer I was paired with I could not comprehend her teaching style and pick up on her picky habits. It led me to be frustrated every single day. When things went wrong, it was not a 1 on 1 conversation. Others working the shift heard the mistakes I would make and along with how rude my trainer was talking to me. She made me feel dumb to the point I was losing interest and would hate myself for driving back the next day. I really enjoyed the job and actually picked up on how to scoring/ stages of sleep and arousals. I just could not stand my trainer. I joined at bad time while I had to learn Dr.Chrono I also had to learn AdvanceMD.

Last thursday, I felt I was on a roll I had everything done on a timely manner. My trainer on the other hand was on her phone and eating taco bell all night. She'd check up on me and I'd tell her the things i've done so far. When it was almost time to go she decides to check on my scoring/staging and gets upset when she catches a small mistake that I missed which was one DeSat (OSA). Something she could have caught if she were to check my work earlier in the night. Now we were left staying almost an hour over and she's complaining that she is tired when the whole night all she did was eat and be on her phone. Telling me why are my calculations wrong and that these are people lives if I were to make a mistake. First, my calc. was right til you caught the one DeSat i missed which turned everything wrong because now the AHI is different. Second, dont be angry if you ask me if I remember the patients SpO2 minimum because regardless of my answer of guessing or IDK you were already on my ass about it.

Aside from actually learning how to score and do notes, I looked into the financial part of this job. It was not fit for my lifestyle to live paycheck to paycheck if i were to commute for a minimum wage job. Being a certified tech is already lowest of the low but putting the time and effort into becoming a registered tech still put you in a low bracket. Reaching six figs would require me to work 5+ yrs not to mention other perks to even reach that amount. I seen the bigger picture through a giant magnifying glass. Just to find out that there are more to it. You would think money is good til you realize what you need to put yourself into. They make you read the charts to make sure the patient isnt going into some cardiac arrest but pay you minimum isnt right... they say the job is high in demand but pay is low. Wouldn't you want High pay if in demand??

Anyway, I wasnt fit for the job nor did I felt i belonged. So I made the decision to leave and go for IT.

[dearlordsanta]

Whoops...

So, in my last post several weeks ago, I said I was going to try harder to get on here more regularly and post on the off chance that it helps anyone. I've been distracted lately, so I haven't been. I feel like I need to now, not just for the people who might be reading, but for me.

First things first, why I've been distracted lately. My husband has been well for a few weeks in a row! Almost the longest he's been well in three years. I've been taking full advantage of it! We spent his first week going out a little bit then, the second week, he said he wanted to go visit our best friends for a short trip (they live about five hours away). So, we found a sitter for the puppies and went for a visit. Our friends took us to Disneyland! I haven't been since I was about 17 and my husband hasn't been since he was 10! We had a great time hanging out with our friends. I'll tell you what though, we were BEYOND ready to get the puppies back when we came home. They had fun at the sitter's house but were ready to be home.

We are now starting on week four of good health. Don't get me wrong, he's had a few days when he wasn't doing great, but he'd bounce back and be okay the next day. I think he's at the point now where he's feeling like he's about to regress. I feel like he's scared to leave the house because he hasn't left since we got back from visiting our friends and that was a week and a half ago. I have a work outing tomorrow and he seems pretty excited to come with me to that, so hopefully, he comes and has a good time. I think that will make him feel a little easier about going out.

Today, I miss being in therapy. I never thought I would say that. I felt like I was finally making progress and then my job canceled their contract with the company I saw my therapist through, and I couldn't afford to keep it up. My husband woke me up after I had a really rough night of sleep (I woke up a ton and don't feel well rested). He had good intentions, usually, when I sleep too long, I get a migraine, so he was just trying to help, but it made me angry. I didn't want to get up yet. Then he told me one of our dogs had peed and had diarrhea all over the "puppy bathroom". Since he's been well, I thought he'd clean it up or at least offer to help me clean it up. That was too much to hope for. Even though he's been well, he's still not helping with anything. I would even be okay with it if he was getting out more because at least he's making the best out of his good days, but he's not. He's been sitting at home, playing games. He's not going on my daily walks with the dogs, helping load or unload the dishwasher, or even taking out the trash. He even had the gall to tell me that we needed to move the piece of art I bought out of the entryway. This is true, but our apartment is a mess because he never helps clean it and gets upset when I move his stuff. Right now, he's got music equipment everywhere and we need to clean the living room, so I have a place to move the art to. He knows this. If he thinks I'm going to cave and clean up by myself, he'll be in for a rude awakening because I WILL get rid of all his stuff. That sounds mean, but I talked to him about it several times. "While you're well, can you please put all your music stuff on the shelf we got for it? I'll even clean up everything else, you just need to put away the stuff you don't want me touching." He says he will, but then he doesn't ever do it. When I ask him when he's doing it, he just says, "I'll do it. I'm going to do it."

Today I am frustrated. Today I am not a good wife. Today I need to get away, but I have nowhere to go. So, I come here. I vent it all out and hope I do better tomorrow. Today, I just want to cry or scream. I am allowing myself today to be frustrated that this is where my life is today. I am overpaying for a crappy apartment because I can't afford to move. My husband is sick. I had to give up on my dream of being a mom. I have to do everything alone. Pay the bills, do all the chores, adjust my schedule to take my husband places because he's afraid to go alone. I miss out on sleep. I worry, I stress, I cry...I don't know how I'll make this better. I just know that I need to.

I'm sure I sound like a whiner today. I just need a day to feel sad and then I'll be fine again. I do the best I can. I am only human.

#OnlyHuman #caregiver #wifeofadiabetic #type1 #gastroparesis #chronicfatiguesyndrome #journalventing #rebellionsarebuiltonhope

[wlwaries]

🤠

#u know what really just frustrates me #my friend. this guy. he's always telling me i should smile more #n he's being super sweet and is just trying to make me a happier person but god fucking damn #i don't. want to #like i'm not unhappy #i'm actually generally in a pretty good mood #it's just that i'm sarcastic and sorta rude and just honest about the things that annoy me #and admittedly a lot of things annoy me but still #he just doesn't seem to understand that me being like that means i'm upset all the time #that's just my default and i just always come off as annoyed #and acting 'happy' is fucking exhausting and i have no intention in putting on a show #when it deadass does not matter like might as well just be upfront with how you feel about shit #and he wouldn't annoy me this much except that i've explained myself #and he still seems to think i have this deep-set unhappiness that he wants to fix #and he's a lovely friend but i wish he would just fucking leave me alone with that shit #i really hate it!! when people act like they know me better than myself!!! #it's not cute like fuck you i'm very self aware #you're not peering into my soul or something #ugh #sorry if you actually read this i'm just. annoyed! #also ik i haven't responded to asks/messages/tags n stuff so #if you're like wow she just ignored me like that huh!! i promise i'm not :^( #i just needed to be angry before i sleep #i'll be active tom :/ #dl 🤪

[adoringhaikyuu]

they misinterpret your words during a fight and think you want to break up

characters: aone + kyoutani + oikawa + ushijima + (gn!reader)

request: hii can I request saying 'why am i even trying' in a fight n they take it wrong way, they thought u had enough of them but u just mean it like ' why r u even trying to argue' - kyotani, aone, ushi and oikawa... thank you ✨ • by @chibiiichann​

warnings: a lil angsty

notes: i was not sure how to title this well skfjhg + let’s just say everyone lives together in these

aone:

it wasn’t that he was trying to aggravate you

it’s just that he genuinely didn’t understand why you were upset and he was being dismissive without even realizing it

and that is what pushed you over

you were tired, you wanted to go to bed 

and you clearly weren’t getting anywhere, so you were ready to just drop it and go to sleep, hence why you said

“why am i even trying”

aone blinked a few times as he stared down at you, those five words sending a spike to his gut. you tried to move past him, not noticing the panic in his eyes, when he shot his arm out to stop you.

you looked up at him about to complain when you noticed the intense and glassy look in his eyes. he spoke up, his voice small. “please don’t.”

you sighed, “i just don’t see the point, nobu. i’m going––”

“no.” his voice was slightly louder and shaky. “please.” he stood in front of you and placed his hands on your arms as he looked into your eyes. “please don’t leave me.” 

you tilted your head, “leave y––” you shook your head, “baby, no i’m not–” you walked into his arms and he hugged you immediately, his arms holding you tight. “i’m not leaving you,” you looked up at him to find him already staring at you, holding his tears back. you placed a hand on his cheek and he nuzzled into your palm. “i was just going to bed because this argument wasn’t going anywhere. that’s why i said i don’t see the point.” 

he swallowed harshly and nodded. “oh.” 

you smiled sadly, “well now i can’t be mad at you anymore...” 

his hands squeezed your waist, “for what it’s worth...i’m sorry, y/n.” 

you leaned up for a kiss and he met you halfway. “let’s go to bed, okay?” 

he nodded but made no move to let go of you––so the two of you stood there for a while, just holding each other in silence.  

kyoutani:

you and kyoutani didn’t fight often...to be honest you rarely ever fought

but today...

both of you were really stressed out

you started arguing over something stupid, to be honest you couldn’t even remember what it was

it was just a way for you both to get out your frustrations in the end

but your voices started getting louder and you were getting in each other’s faces

and it became too much for you, it was just stressing you out even more

you needed fresh air

you rolled your eyes and stepped back, trying to shove past him. “you know what? why am i even trying here–”

before you could get far, kyoutani grabbed your arm, not forcefully, but enough to make you stop. you looked up and glared at him, surprised to see another emotion swirling in his eyes––sadness?

“you’re fucking joking right?” he never was good at talking through his emotions. 

you scowled, his tone not helping either of your moods at all. “let me go.”

he scowled right back. “no.” 

“kentaro.”

he raised a brow and stepped closer to you, “oh so we’re on a first name basis now? what, y/n?”

you clenched your jaw and looked him in the eye, taking a deep breath. “please just let me go.” your voice was small, defeated, you just needed space. 

his hand loosened but he didn’t let go completely, seemingly battling with himself in his mind. “no...i can’t. i won’t let you leave me.” 

so that’s why he was upset? 

you frowned up at him. “taro. i’m just going for some fresh air. i’m not leaving you.” 

he let go of you and stood straight, his lips parted. “oh.” he clenched his jaw and looked down, suddenly embarrassed by his reaction. you grabbed his hand and started walking towards the door. “what are you doing?”

you looked back at him, eyes no longer blazing, but instead, warm and loving. “we are going to get some fresh air. together.” 

he looked down, suddenly shy, but kept walking with you. “okay.”

oikawa:

oikawa had a bad day and he was more irritable than usual

tbh he was being kinda rude unintentionally

you were eating dinner across from each other and you were trying to talk about how your days were, not having spoken to each other much due to your busy schedules

but he wasn’t in the mood for talking and was just answering you with hums and giving you one word responses

after a while you got annoyed and honestly felt a little hurt

so you sighed and rolled your eyes, getting up from the table to go refill your water, mumbling to yourself more than anything

“why am i even trying”

it wasn’t until you said that that oikawa looked up from his plate, eyes wide, heart beating loudly in his chest. “wait what––”

you were already in the kitchen by the time he looked up and he urgently got out of his seat, almost knocking down his glass and you turned around at the clatter, surprised to see him basically speed-walking towards you. 

“oh now you pay attention to me?” you went to sip your water when he pulled it out of your hands and set it on the counter, ignoring your “hey!-” in protest. 

his eyes were frantic as he looked at you, “look baby i’m sorry i just i had a really shitty day today but––”

you sighed and looked to the side. “and i get that tooru, but that doesn’t give you the right to be a dick, i mean it feels like we haven’t had time to ourselves this week at all...”

he pouted and took your face into his hands, “i know baby and i’m sorry, i haven’t been trying as much as i could have been. but i promise i’ll do better, okay? i know i don’t deserve it but please tell me you’ll keep trying too?” his eyes were suddenly filled with tears and you looked at him in shock.

“hey–what’s wrong?” 

he pressed his forehead against yours and let out a shaky breath. “i just don’t want you to leave me––please don’t. i don’t know what i’d do without you––”

you pulled away as much as he’d let you to look into his eyes. “woah baby what––i’m not leaving you? sure i was frustrated, but i wasn’t going to break up with you.” 

his eyes widened, “really?”

you nodded. “really, tooru i promise.” just from the vulnerable look in his eyes you felt like you could cry as well. you kissed his cheek, “i’m not going anywhere.” 

he sighed, relieved and pulled you into a hug, mumbling his next words into your shoulder. “i love you.”

ushijima:

ushi could be really blunt and straightforward 

and sometimes had a tendency to brush things off, not understanding the big deal

today you were trying to get him understand something that happened at work, someone pissed you off and it really put you in a bad mood for the whole day

and ushi was always there to talk through things with you at night when you got home

but today, he really couldn’t see why you were upset––or rather, why you let it affect you so much, he didn’t see the point

and it felt like he wasn’t listening to you

(granted, you were a little strung up already)

you didn’t want to deal with people anymore so you brushed past him and went to take a shower, grumbling “why am i even trying”

as soon as you uttered those words, ushijima paused, unsure what to even think. you didn’t mean the relationship did you? surely, he thought about how you’d had a bad day, how you were frustrated and maybe you were just saying that in regards to your frustrations...but part of him wasn’t sure. you seemed rather annoyed during the conversation much to his disliking.

unfortunately, he wasn’t able to ask you about it because as soon as he turned around, you were already locked in the bathroom. he sat anxiously at the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees, hands clasped as he waited for you. you were taking your sweet time, no doubt relaxing and decompressing, which he understood, but it was only furthering his worry about the situation. 

it was a good while later that you’d finally gotten out of the shower, steam exiting the bathroom as you opened the door. you hadn’t even noticed ushijima sitting across from you as you got out, still focused on your thoughts, trying to calm down. 

you put your night shirt on along with some sweats, which was immediately a bad sign to him, you almost always slept in one of his shirts, and he loved that about you. 

only when you got on the bed did he speak up, clearly tense as he got your attention. “love...”

you turned and he swallowed thickly, suddenly nervous. “when you said...” he paused, looking down at his hands before looking into your eyes, clenching his jaw almost in pain. “are you giving up on us?” 

you frowned immediately, “what?”

“you...you said ‘why am i even trying’ and stormed off...did i do something? are you not happy?” 

your mouth dropped open in shock, the frustration coursing through your body now replaced with disbelief and sadness. you moved closer to him and put one hand on his cheek, the other other on his shoulder as you looked into his eyes. “what? baby no, i was just annoyed and our conversation wasn’t really helping but it wasn’t your fault! i just needed some time to think to myself, i’m sorry. this whole time you thought i wanted to end things?” 

he nodded once and your frown deepened. “baby i would never,” you paused and pulled him close for a sweet kiss. 

his hands came up to hold your waist and you melted into him, the kiss clearly soothing his worries. the look of relief and love in his eyes was clear as day when you pulled away to catch his eye. 

“i promise i am happiest with you. i’m not going anywhere, unless you were planning on leaving any time s––”

his hands gripped your waist tighter, a fierce look appearing in his eyes. “no. you’re it for me.” 

you smiled, feeling something burst in your chest and gave him another kiss. “i love you.” 

his hands made their way under your shirt and you hummed, pulling away to stop him. “baby i’m kinda tired today.”

he shook his head, a light blush on his cheeks . “i know. i just prefer when you wear my shirts.” 

you smiled and moved your hands away, “oh, okay. then go ahead.”

he smiled back, “thank you.”  

#aone #aone angst #aone x reader #aone headcanon #aone hc #kyoutani #kyoutani x reader #kyoutani angst #kyoutani headcanon #kyoutani hc #oikawa #oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #oikawa headcanon #oikawa hc #ushijima #ushijima x reader #ushijma angst #ushijima headcanon #ushijima hc

[itsdanii]

Rejecting you and regretting it

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: slight cursing, rude behavior (resolved), do message me if I forgot any.

ft. sakusa kiyoomi, tsukishima kei

Sakusa Kiyoomi

you're not oblivious to the fact that kiyoomi is a very conscious person

that's one of the things you loved about him

he was hygienic and he always made sure that his health was his utmost priority

but one downside is that kiyoomi had the tendency to push people away because of his straightforwardness

you were used to it and in fact, you were one of those people he tolerated

but everyone has their bad days

and unfortunately for you, today was kiyoomi's and since you were always attached to him by the hip, he unintentionally snapped at you

what's worse is that he snapped at you the moment you confessed to him

"Omi!" you shouted happily as you entered the gymnasium, giving Komori a small wave before making your way to where Kiyoomi was sitting.

He looked at you with a frown. He wasn't wearing a mask since they were training awhile ago and only took a quick break. "Y/n, what are you doing here?"

You sat beside him making Kiyoomi grimace and slightly move away. You frowned at him, completely displeased at the action. "I just wanted to give you a visit. Plus, I have something to tell you."

You started to fiddle with your fingers nervously. You practiced your confession several times already but doing it seemed harder than you thought.

"What is it? Talk, I'm not in the right mood to socialize right now."

Out of panic, you quickly blurted out a rather loud, "I like you!" You immediately covered your mouth with your hand and stared at him wide eyed.

The other players looked at you with sympathy, knowing what's about to happen. Out of all days, you really had to confess today, when Kiyoomi was in a pissy mood after several fangirls pushed themselves against him this morning, not minding his personal space.

Kiyoomi stared at you with a serious expression before standing up. "I don't like you. Leave."

"But Omi.."

"You're irritating and you always bother me when it is clear that I don't want your company." He turned around and left you on the bench, your head casted down in humiliation.

You whispered a small sorry before running out of the gym with tears falling from your eyes.

For the next few days, you did your very best to stay away from Kiyoomi. You changed your route to school knowing that your usual route meant that you have to pass by his house. Even if you got scolded several times for being late, you did not stop.

You sat near the door so you can easily exit the room after class. You even stopped eating with Komori and Kiyoomi during breaks and lunch. Even your usual routine of visiting the gym during practices was stopped.

At first, Kiyoomi didn't mind. He knew that you'd come back in a few days just like you always did. You like him after all, right?

But when a few days turned into weeks, He started getting bothered. Why weren't you pestering him like always? Why did you stop visiting him? You said you like him, right?

It was the second week that Kiyoomi took action. He woke up extra early to wait for you infront of your house, aiming to confront you about your behavior.

When you went out, your eyes widened slightly upon seeing Kiyoomi waiting for you outside. He was wearing his face mask while staring at you intently, letting you know that he purposely waited for you.

You looked down and was about to walk pass him when you felt him tugging on your wrist. Your gaze snapped to his hand, not believing that he was indeed touching your skin.

"Sakusa?"

His eye twitched at the weirdness of you not calling him like usual. Sighing, he stepped a little closer to you, hand still holding your wrist to ensure that you won't run away from him.

"You're ignoring me," he said while eyeing you. "Why?"

You took your hand from him and furrowed your brows. "I'm just doing you a favor. I don't want to be a bother anymore. Isn't this what you wanted?"

"I-"

"It's fine, Sakusa. You don't have to force yourself to apologize just because you feel bad or obliged to."

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I'm not apologizing because I feel bad."

"Then what? You're apologizing just to make fun of me? I know I said I like you but that doesn't mean that you have the right to-"

"You don't get it!"

At this point, you were both raising your voices. Some passersby were looking at you two weirdly, some even running as to not get caught up in the fight.

"Get what, Sakusa? Why don't you tell me so I can understand?!"

"I like you!" Kiyoomi exclaimed. "I... Fuck. I like you, okay? I wasn't in the mood when you confessed and I rejected you without thinking. I messed up. The moment I saw you walk out, I knew I fucked up real bad and I-"

"Om-"

"And I thought that you'd come back the next day to bother me again like usual. I wanted to apologize but my pride-"

You sighed as he continued to ramble. With fast movements, you stood on your tiptoes and encircled your arms around his neck to pull him down to you, kissing him over his mask.

When you let go, Kiyoomi was silent. His eyes were wide and you thought that you went over board. Panic made its way to your face as you try to find the words to explain.

"Sorry, I didn't me-"

This time, he was the one to cut you off. Kiyoomi took off his mask and bent down to kiss you on your lips. One of his arms snaked around your waist to support you while the other settled on your nape, angling you to him.

"Be my s/o."

Tsukishima Kei

Everyone in Karasuno knew how much you like Tsukishima

In fact, you remind him everyday

You often give him fresh strawberries from the market and even bake him strawberry cake

Sometimes, you would put little sticky notes on his belongings and write some encouraging words like "you can do it", "I believe in you" or "take it easy!"

On his birthday, you even gave him a hoodie with a dino design (which he secretly loved)

There are times that you knew Tsukishima gets irritated when you visit and even snaps at you but you didn't mind. You liked him and a small snap will not discourage you

But what you didn't know was that it would only take one conversation to completely shatter your heart

"-And they're back," Sugawara said as he saw you enter the gym, a bubbly smile present on your face as usual.

"Kei!" You skipped your way towards Tsukishima and handed him his water bottle which you voluntarily refilled with hot water.

He only gave you a 'tsk' and took the water bottle. Adjusting his glasses, he stared at you from head to toe as if analyzing you, a small blush appearing on his cheeks.

"What are you looking at? Have you finally come to realize that you like me back?" you cheekily asked, poking his bicep.

"No. I was just wondering how someone could look so ugly."

Despite what he said, you forced yourself to giggle, covering your upset feeling with an eye roll. "Oh shut up, Kei. You don't have to hide it, you know? Don't worry, I'm not going to reject you."

You winked at him causing Tsukishima to blush even more.

The rest of the boys snickered and laughed at his reaction which made Tsukishima more embarrassed than he already is.

"Just confess to the girl already, Tsukishima. Can't you see she's trying hard to win you?" Daichi said with a small chuckle while patting Tsukishima's back.

Tsukishima just huffed and pushed his glasses up. "What's there to like? They're nothing but an eyesore anyway."

"What?" you asked in disbelief.

Having a playful banter with Tsukishima was normal in your routine but this was the first time he called you such an offensive term. Does he really think of you that way?

"Oh come on, stop acting dumb. I don't even get why there are guys running after you. I mean, there's really nothing much to look at, right?"

Everyone grew quiet at what he said, clearly not expecting Tsukishima to be at such level of rudeness.

You swallowed the lump forming in your throat as your insecurity skyrocketed. "I try hard every single day to look presentable to you. I-"

You paused for a moment to laugh pathetically at yourself. "I exert a lot of effort to make you notice me. I cook for you, I give you gifts. Heck, I even stay after class to help clean the gym so that the task would be easier for you and I'm not even asking for anything in return."

Tsukishima glared at you sharply that you immediately felt extremely smaller than him. "I never asked you to do those things for me."

"Can't you at least show me that you care?" You wiped your tears with the back of your hand. "Because I'm slowly getting tired of this push and pull game."

"Don't you get it? I don't like you. Why don't you stop pushing yourself to me and start getting a life, hm?"

"Tsukishima, that's enough!" you heard Daichi yell at him.

"Y/n?" Sugawara was immediately beside you, his hand rubbing circles on your back in attempt to calm you down.

"No-" You lifted your face up to meet Tsukishima's eyes. "I think he's right. I should stop being a nuisance and focus on myself."

"I'll leave you alone. I'm sorry," you said before giving Tsukishima a bow and leaving the gym with everyone's eyes following your figure until the door shut.

Everyone could only look at Tsukishima as he cursed under his breath.

"Shit."

The moment you left the gym, you headed straight to the comfort room to let your tears out. You stared at yourself on the mirror as tears cascaded down your cheeks.

"You're beautiful," you reassured yourself while pointing at your own reflection. "What he said doesn't make you any less. Know your worth."

You wiped your tears and splashed your face with cold water before getting out and heading to class without sparing Tsukishima any glance.

You ignored Tsukishima, stopped visiting the gym and focused on yourself. You even made made friends with some of your classmates that you didn't bother getting associated with last time because you were too focused on capturing the attention of Tsukishima.

Unbeknownst to you, a certain male was eyeing you as you interact with other people. He blamed himself for pushing you away. He didn't talk to you, thinking that you only wanted space for a couple days before bothering him again.

He knew that what he said was out of line and he regret everything he did. He even asked Yamaguchi and the rest of the team for advice but all of them responded with the same answer - apologize and tell you how he feels.

Tsukishima gripped the pen tightly as he watched you laughing at something your classmate said. The said classmate was too close to you and it was obvious that he was trying to flirt with you.

"Tsukki?" Yamaguchi called out. He followed Tsukishima's gaze and sighed. "Why don't you go and talk to them?"

"Tsk. Why would I do that? Can't you see they're enjoying his company?" Tsukishima bitterly said.

"You'll end up losing them if you don't do something about it now. Who knows, they might already be lo-" Yamaguchi stopped as Tsukishima instantly stood up and made his way to where you are.

Taking your wrist, he pulled you towards him, heading out of the classroom.

"Tsukishima, what the hell?!" You tried to resist but his grip on your wrist only tightened.

You gasped as he suddenly stopped, trapping you against a wall with his arms beside your head.

"I'm sorry." Tsukishima closed his eyes, balling his fist as he bowed his head. "I said hurtful words to you and no amount of apology will take those away but I want you to know that I regret every single one of it."

You bit your lower lip as you felt yourself tearing up once again. "Do you really think that I'm ugly? I was hurt, Kei. It's just.."

"I'm sorry." His hand made its way to your cheek, cupping your face while he wiped your tears with his thumb. "You're not ugly."

You shook your head and averted your gaze from him, a sob escaping your lips as you felt yourself falling for him deeper. "Don't. Just stop. I'll accept your apology but please just leave me be. I won't be able to stop my feelings for you if you keep leading me on."

"But I don't want you to stop."

"What?"

"I've fallen for you." He tipped your chin up with his hand making you look at him and you were surprised to see the vulnerability in his features. "Please look at me again, y/n. Keep loving me because I swear that I'll do things different this time. Give me a chance."

You can't help but encircle your arms around him, burrying your face on the side of his neck as you nodded repeatedly. "One chance, Kei."

Tsukishima hugged you tightly, lips pressing on the side of your head. "One chance." He leaned away from you and held your face with his hand, eyes boring to yours admiringly.

"You're beautiful."

Likes and reblogs are appreciated ❤️

#haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #hq imagines #haikyuu angst #haikyuu comfort #haikyuu imagines #hq angst #haikyu x reader #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #hq x reader #hq headcanons #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima oneshot #tsukishima scenarios #tsukishima x you #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima hcs #tsukishima angst #tsukishima comfort #hq sakusa #hq tsukishima #sakusa x y/n #sakusa fluff #sakusa angst

[bakuvantea]

HEY BESTIE I HOPE YOUR HAVING AN AMAZING DAY

CAN I GET SOME GENERAL HEADCANONS WITH SUNG JIN-WOO WITH A FEMALE S/O

FEEL FREE TO IGNORE BUT REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

>:)

general relationship headcanons of sung jin-woo with his beloved s/o

- warnings: none! just a tad bit of nsfw implications

- audience: I made this gender neutral, i do hope that’s okay!!

- a/n: hello >:) anonnn (may i call u that? lmao-) here’s your request love!! thank you for your kind words <33 stay heathy, stay hydrated, and always rest up okay? hope you have an amazing day ahead too!!

also idk who jacob is-

-•-

: pre-awakened jin-woo (before entering the carthenon temple)

> he was always cautious, he didn't want [you] to hear the whispers going around about how you could've chosen someone better, about how you could've loved someone that was not him. thus, he was very shy and timid, always on edge when he feels the piercing stares from his batchmates -most especially when you try to initiate physical contact with him in your school or in public, you'd see him uncomfortable and so you'd immediately stop (because you respect him, ily). behind closed doors though he would always go above and beyond in pleasing you and making you feel loved, although he always doubts himself so you always make sure to give him praises and assure him that he is the one you love (not that jerk jacob from the class next door).

> he always wears spare hair ties or hair pins around his wrists in case you forget or lose yours. in fact when its weekends -and when he's not out infiltrating dungeons and positively offering his life on a silver platter- he always tries to study new hairdos and hairstyles so he can have more variations and choices when he ties or pins your hair for you. he'd always kiss the top of your head after and you'd feel his smile as he nuzzles your hair, smelling your shampoo. since his hair is also long, you'd also return the favor and tie his hair for him. his favorite would have to be the classic apple look with a pointy lock of hair erect in the middle -he really looks like a shih tzu, adorable-

> he.blushes.so.easily !!! he is very weak to praises and your lil kisses that pepper his face. you can see him glow and you even see his smile evidently becoming wider despite him shying away from you, looking downwards to avoid your loving gaze.

> he may be sht but he is also very playful towards you, teasing you and throwing pillows at you when you’re in his room, what a baby.

> often during dates he'd always need to leave early because he really needs to earn money and g to the dungeons. although you try to offer him some of your savings or your help during the dungeon raids, he'd always reject your offer, thinking of how it may burden you or the dungeon raids may possibly hurt you. you don't listen to him though, you give some of your savings to his sister when you cross paths in your school, and you'd always register after him in raids or call up someone you know to have you join in.

"(name) why are you here?!"

"angel face, i can handle myself just fine. it's my choice to help you and whether you like it or not, i've also been called for this raid. come love, we're going in."

> you'd always take his blue hoodie and wear it. he gets so shy when you smell it.

he gets frantic when you take his hoodie and start sniffing it, exclaiming; "stop! i smell weird."

you raise an eyebrow at him, "woo, you smell fine. i like it."

he tries to stutter a remark but was silenced by your smile.

> you always try to visit his mother with him and his sister, jinah. you always talk to their mother out loud and you'd see jinah smile gently at you and jin-woo trying to stop sniffles from escaping his lips by biting them and covering his face with his hoodie.

jinah: u simp

jin-woo: shut it

> he loved cuddles! but he really likes kissing your cheeks. he loves how soft they are and he loves feeling your cheeks move when you smile or laugh at his cute antics.

> he loves you so so dear

: post-awakened jin-woo (after the events of the carthenon temple)

> oh, dear it's the monarch-

> you weren't with him when he raided the "d-rank" dungeon that then turned out to be,, well pretty much a bloodbath, so you were very worried when you heard word of the news. you and jinah basically ran to the hospital and when you caught sight of him you almost fell down from relief and pure shock in seeing the state he's in. well, not long after though suddenly he's all buff and you were really trying to make sense of what's happening.

you: hello there good sir, what in the name of fck are you doing in my boyfriend’s room all sweaty and half-naked😀

jin-woo: (name) it’s me

you: haha yes, sir ‘it’s me’ that’s a pretty weird name but i don't judge, anyways my baby boy is not here uhm haha please get out of my boyfriend’s room

jin-woo: (name) it’s really me!

you: no sir, my woo radiates baby energy, you on the other hand radiates big dilf energy, haha i do not like what i am sensing so please for the life of me leave-

(jinah had to convince you that it is indeed jin-woo, you had her stop you from trying to hold his tiddies)

> you were very happy in seeing how confident he’s become, and you were even more proud with how he still says so humble despite his new accomplishments and title.

> it was obvious that he has become distant with others and have set a boundary between him and other hunters, you accept that part of him though since you know just how much he has gone through. he may act aloof towards others but he’s still very playful and comfortable with you.

> you have also noticed another thing though, he has become a bit possessive or much protective over you and jinah. he’d always have you bring a shadow with you to guard you when he can’t be with you. also, when someone stares at you for far too long, he’d step in and go, “hey there pal” and oh gosh was that enough to get the guy running (pretty damn hot)

> you still visit his mom with him, he doesn’t cry now though.

> when he trains, you’d insist on lying down below him when he does push-ups. you’d kiss him every time he swoops down and you’d hear him laugh which then makes you giggle as you hold his cheeks between your hands

> jinah is sick of the two you, always screaming about how on earth did her brother get an s/o before her, the audacity!

> his shadows adore you, of they’d always try to impress you or get head pats when you tell jin-woo to summon them for you. you live them to bits and always thanks them for a job well done in helping jin-woo with his raids. on the first time you accompanied him for a raid -you had to bribe him with more cuddles- and you were shocked with how his sweet adorable shadows turned a full 180, becoming ruthless towards the enemies. quite a show you’d say. after though, they’re back to flocking over you, even dismissing jin-woo lmao

jin-woo, watching you give each shadows head pats: i hate it here

you: get in line then

> it may be due to his newly acquired talents and his current mental and physical prowess but he has become more perceptive towards you. he can always read you and know just what your mood is and he always tries to make you feel better by giving his whole attention to you.

> of but of course, since dear jin-woo has become quite the looker, you also notice how girls flock over to him. and especially miss hae-in (she’s very sweet yes, but hey that’s your man so like—). the moment you discovered that she left her guild to join jin-woo’s, and then confessed (well basically she did) to your man, well you were upset but really who could blame her? instead of taking your frustrations out on her and your boyfriend, you decided to just talk it out with jin-woo and ask him about how it went. the two of you cleared it out and you got kisses and maybe even more after that ;))

> you and jin-ho are menaces to society when you are together, he hates how endearing and annoying you two can be. i mean, does he really hate it? nope, he absolutely loves seeing you two interact, although his head always throbs when you two start screaming to britney, gaga, and doja.

> a tease, he has become the master of being a tease, you hate it and love it at the same time. he’d trail kisses down your neck to your thighs and leave some marks then he’d suddenly walk away while asking you what take-out you want. rude, that’s what he is. ofc he always finished what he starts tho oop-

> he always randomly bites you now, you don’t know why but it’s really cute when he starts nibbling so you let him be.

> so extra when he tells you that he loves you. he professes it in such weird but adorable ways. one time he had printed out ‘i love you so much’ on a big-ass tarpaulin and had his shadows hold it for him while he’s kneeling down smoldering at you. you hate him so much (you don’t-). or that one time he bought a bouquet basket and had a ring tied to one of the flowers, you had to take the bouquet apart since the damn ring fell to the very bottom.

> sometimes when he gets back to the agency after his dungeon raids you and jin-ho would see him all grumpy and you immediately know that either he wasn’t able to make the enemy his soldier or his coat got ruined.

jin-woo: *sad noises*

jin-ho: that’s okay, you can kill and slaughter the others and take their souls next time

you: jin-ho couldn’t you have worded that better-

over-all, he’s the bestest boyfriend, such a sweet and handsome pretty boy much strong and reliable we love him<333

-•-

- a/n: i can add more to this if you’d like!! just hit me up again lmao it’s too long now so-

#sung jin woo x reader #sung jin woo #solo leveling #solo leveling x reader #manhwa #jin woo #jinwoo #sung jinwoo #winamikobabbles #sung jinwoo x reader

[finelinevogue]

Thanks can you write something about one of the kids getting hate online from jealous people and how it affects them and what Harry and Y/N do

hello!! so this one is going to be about isabelle getting hate (😔), which you will find out why. i’m also changing the age gaps between them because it’s so hard to write with larger age gaps. so here isabelle is 16, felix is 19 and oli is 21!!

“Mum!”

You had been busy ironing the clothes downstairs, whilst watching ‘Call the Midwife’ on the TV, when you heard Felix shouting you from upstairs.

“What?” You shouted back, moving from the lounge to the bottom of the stairs to hear better.

“I think you should see this.”

When your children say things like this you either roll your eyes when you find out they wanted to show you a meme, or panic because some rumour has been spread all over the internet of them.

“Just hang on a minute!” Your attention diverted to the front door being opened harshly. Everyone else was already home but Belle, so it must’ve been her. It was a Wednesday today and Belle always had study group in the library after-school on a Wednesday, although today she was back a little earlier than normal.

You moved the latch off the porch door and opened it to welcome Belle home, watching as she threw off her high-top converse aggressively.

“Hiya love, you alr—” You didn’t get to finish before you saw that her eyes were red and puffy, tears streaming down her face like a cascading waterfall. Her mascara was smudged and made it look like she hadn’t slept for weeks. “Woah, hey, Belle?”

Belle didn’t listen to you though, instead she stormed past and ran up the stairs and a minute later you heard her bedroom door slam shut.

What the fuck was that about?

“Minute too late mum!” Felix shouted again, making you roll your eyes in annoyance. However, it did confirm that something had happened to Belle on social media or over the internet and you had to get Harry on top of this now.

You walked down the stairs, into your basement - which Harry had converted into a sound-proof studio - and saw him sat with a guitar on his lap and pencil between his teeth, playing around with chords on repeat.

“Babe?” You knocked on the door as you spoke, Harry looking up from where he was sat to you and smiling as bright as ever.

“You alright love?” He asked sweetly, taking the pencil out of his mouth first.

“I am yeah, but Belle’s just come home crying and shut herself in her room.” You furrowed your eyebrows, trying to work through everything that had happened and wondering whether you’d done something or not done something.

Harry instantly got to his feet, putting everything down so that he could come over to you. He placed his warm hands on your cheeks and kissed your lips once just because, “I know what you’re thinking, so stop it. Something’s probably happened at school. Let me go talk to her, okay?” You nodded in agreement and sighed in thanks.

Belle had always been more of a daddy’s girl than a mommy’s girl, and that was okay. It just meant that she was more open to her feelings and her heart with her dad than you, not to say she never talked to you about things like that. Harry always filled you in on things, though, and would prompt you to talk to her if he thought extremely necessary. Belle liked to work things out by herself normally, not liking to be a burden to anyone - a lot like you actually.

Harry walked out of the room and climbed the stairs two at a time until he made it outside Belle’s room. He knocked before entering, but Belle made no sound for him to enter.

“Belles?” Harry asked softly, shutting the door and walking over to her bed which she was curled up on. She had obviously flopped on the bed and began crying, because there was no sign of effort to get under the covers or get comfortable.

“D-dad?” She mumbled roughly, her choked sobs holding her back.

“Yes sweetheart, i’m here.” Harry sat down on the edge of her bed and sat their patiently. He didn’t want to invade her space or make her feel claustrophobic, so he waited for her to come to him and that didn’t take long. She sprang up and hugged him with her head buried against her dad’s chest, sobbing so violently that Harry’s heart cracked in two. He hated to see his baby cry. It was his biggest weakness.

Belle made an attempt to speak but Harry couldn’t understand due to the shear heaviness of her cries.

“Belles, y’gotta calm down for me, my heart. Gotta breathe it out before you make yourself sick.” He smoothed his hand over the back of her hair, like he’d always done. Her breathing ever-so-slowly coming back down to a normal and healthy pace. “That’s it, thank you.” He kissed the top of her head and held her tightly still.

“Dad?” She shakily started.

“Yes love.”

“Do y-you know?” She sat up so she could face her dad, bur Harry didn’t let his hands leave hers.

“Know what, sweetheart?”

Harry genuinely didn’t know and Belle could see that in his honest, kind, eyes.

“T-that…” Belle started tearing up again, her bottom lip wobbling like sailors legs.

“Hey, calm down. You’re okay. Breathe and then talk to me, okay?” Harry ordered her, not caring if this took all night. He was here for his baby girl whenever and wherever, no exceptions. If she didn’t ever tell him, that was okay as long as he helped her build up her happiness again. A few deep breaths later and she was feeling more comfortable.

“I..,” she paused momentarily to collect her words before letting them flow out beautifully, “i’m gay dad.”

Warmth spread through Harry’s heart as if he were torch that’d just been set alight. He could only put the way he felt into one word; proud. He was so proud that his daughter was turning into the loving and open and beautiful woman she was always born to be. He was also just so happy that she had the confidence in him to tell him something so important to her.

“I’m so proud of you, Belle.”

“Really?” She sounded surprised, which made Harry take a step back in confusion.

“Yes of course,” Harry squeezed her hand just a little tighter, “have I ever given you a reason to think otherwise?”

“No.”

“Then where’s this doubt coming from hey?”

Belle began to cry again at his question.

“T-the media found out and i-it’s been published everywhere a-and I w-was worried I wouldn’t b-be able to tell you myself b-before they could. They’re being s-so rude too.” Her cries broke Harry all over again. As much as he was proud of her for coming out so bravely, he was incredibly pissed off that the media thought it was there business to pass around before Belle was even comfortable admitting it first. It’s Belle’s right to come out when she wants and how she wants and Harry could understand how frustrating and upsetting that must be to have it all taken away. He had to keep calm for Belle though, pulling her back into his chest to hold her safely.

“What are they saying?”

Anger bubbled through Harry’s veins as she began to speak.

“That i’m only gay to promote the values you stand for or that you’ll be disappointed that not all your children are straight.”

Harry’s fingers curled at her words, not understanding how much of a low-life you have to be to genuinely type and publish these things about a child, let alone his child. He was furious and he was going to burn - metaphorically - the people responsible for this abuse.

“How did they find out?”

Instead of her saying anything she pulled up a picture of the article online - released by ‘The Sun’ unsurprisingly as they were the worst for paparazzi stalking - and it all started to piece together.

The article headlined a picture of Belle and another girl, kissing outside of school. The study group mustn’t have been exclusively studying. Harry didn’t focus on the shitty article, he instead focused on how the smile on Belle’s face was the widest he’d ever seen.

“You look very happy.” Harry tried to make light of the situation for his daughter.

“I am. They make me very happy.” Belle blushed and Harry caught on.

“And they’re called?”

“Megan.”

“Megan,” Harry repeated the name, getting a feel for the way it sounded for future use, “well they seem lovely.”

“Dad you’ve only seen them through a picture of us kissing.” Belle rolled her eyes and Harry reached out to dab the tears away, not minding that his sleeve was becoming heavily damp.

“Shut up you,” he laughed causing a smile to leap onto Belles face too, “do we get to meet them?”

“Hopefully,” Belle smiles, before looking down to her lap with furrowed brows, “that is, if they still like me after this whole media shambles.” Belle let out a breathe of shaky air and Harry caught her anxiety before she could let herself run off with it.

“Let me take care of that, don’t worry yourself over it, okay?” Belle nodded.

“Do I have to make like a statement or anything?”

“You do whatever you want to, Belles, and i’ll love you no matter what.”

And with that Harry left the room, a smile on his face for feeling like the proudest most happiest parent on the planet. It only lasted a few minutes though, because now it was time to make some phone calls and sue a few people.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfiction #finelinevogue #finelinevogue harry styles #harry blurb #harry oneshot #harry styles concept #ask finelinevogue #ask harry styles #anon response #anon #little moments masterlist #little moments finelinevogue #little moments #harry x isabella #harry styles dad angst #harry styles dad #dadrry #harry styles x gay!daughter #harry styles hate blurb #finelinevogue blurbs #finelinevogue harry masterlist

[hareharrison]

hold me

pairing: george harrison x reader

summary: george is in the process of finishing abbey road, and has been repeatedly coming home frustrated. instead of talking to you about it, he distances himself completely, and only speaks to you in annoyance or anger, and lashes out on you. he doesn’t know how much it affects you and one day comes home to the effects firsthand.

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, angy geo, neurodivergent reader, invasive thoughts, mental breakdown/panic attack, but it works out in the end

a/n: hayyyy ok so i wrote this as a comfort fic for myself, and i decided to post it cause why not. i struggle with intense fear of abandonment cause of bpd haha fun 😐and wanted to make it from the POV of a neurodivergent reader?? so this is like a comfort fic for ND readers?? idk if i need to put any other potential trigger warnings for this but if i do please lmk and i will fix it

year: 1969

the flat was quiet without him. to be honest, it was quiet with or without him, lately. as much as you didn’t want to admit it, george had been distant. he was always a quiet person, but he has never dismissed you this much. you knew that his job could be tiring and you tried not to overthink it, but you couldn’t help but feel bad. a voice in your head was planting horrible ideas, saying things like, “you fucked up, he doesn’t like you anymore, you’re annoying.” but still, you pushed on and tried your best to ignore the noise in your brain.

you sigh heavily and slide back into the couch. you had the next two days off of work, and nothing to do. george of course had to work on your days off, which left you alone at home. with your thoughts. it was hard getting through today, your intrusive thoughts were particularly loud... but he would be home any minute now, which brought on a bit of hope; seeing him should rid you of your own jailhoused mind.

the tv played some sitcom in front of you, which you had no interest in. all you could think about was if you ruined things. what if he was thinking of leaving you? it would be your fault... and yet you couldn’t think of a single thing you’ve ever done that might have hurt him.

the door opened gently and let in a cool draft that brushed against your warm skin. you look toward the entrance, seeing your george sigh heavily with exhaustion as he took his shoes and coat off. he looked up to you, his boldly furrowed brows softening.

“hi, love,” he says, walking toward you. you stand and approach him to greet him with a quick kiss. he holds you for a little longer than usual, and you take the opportunity to melt into his arms and breathe in his smell, something you’d been deprived of recently. he rests his chin on top of your head, which laid comfortably on his rising chest. it was moments like this that made all your worries slip away, moments like this that you wished you could cling onto forever and ever.

“how was your day?” you ask, finally leaning back to look up at him. he lets go of you and runs a hand through his long hair.

“not good,” he says, a frown on his perfectly sculpted face. you return his expression at the sight of him being sad. quickly, you remember your dinner ideas. maybe that would cheer him up.

“hey, maybe we can go get something to eat? maybe get your mind off of things?” you suggest, looking up at his brown eyes. he looks down at you, eyes full of regret.

“i’m sorry love, but i’d rather just head to bed already,” he says remorsefully. you smile softly and reassure him that it’s okay and he should get some rest. but part of you breaks inside, knowing he doesn’t want to spend time with you.

he headed upstairs and you followed, the painful ideas returning at full speed.

“you’re so annoying, of course he doesn’t want to spend any time with you. you’re so annoying and clingy,” your brain says and you flinch at the harsh thoughts. through your entire bedtime routine, thoughts flooded your mind and filled your entire being up, and you felt like you were being drowned from the inside out. george stood next to you as you both brushed your teeth, not speaking a single word to you or giving you a single glance. you changed into one of george’s t-shirts and watched as he slid out of his clothes and into his pajamas in seconds. he muttered a monotone, “good night,” before turning on his side, his back facting you.

as much as you didn’t want to, you believed the mean voices and hung your head as you got into bed next to george.

you slept back to back that night.

————————————————————

the sun seeped into your room through your windows, and invaded your bed, waking you rather unpleasantly. you groan lightly as you reached over your bed for george, but only found empty space. his side of the bed was cold, indicating that he’d been up for a while now.

you sit up slowly, rubbing your eyes as the aromas of freshly brewed coffee and morning dew hit your senses. you hear the song of the early birds chirping as your feet hit the cool floor. as you head downstairs, you can hear george on the phone, and you soon see him muttering softly before taking a long drag from his cigarette. you don’t bother him, seeing that there was paperwork on the table and his call must be business related. naturally, you decide to head for the coffee, the smell luring you in like a fish.

you poured the hot, dark liquid into your favorite mug and add in your preferred amounts of cream and sugar. looking out the window, you see water drip gently from the leaves of a tree that george and you had planted a year ago. you sip your coffee and reminisce about the times you used to actually spend time with george. how nice it was, seeing him smile so often.

you suddenly hear george raise his voice at the phone, something unlike him entirely. you jump at the unpleasant sound before peeking through the hallway to see what on earth was happening.

“no, i don’t care! i want the bloody bastard fired, in fact, tell him not to bother showing up today,” he shouts into the phone before slamming it down, placing his head between his knees and groaning in frustration. seeing george this upset and acting out on it was truly a rare sighting, and you thought carefully about what to next.

after careful consideration, you tiptoe into the room and gently rest a hand on his shoulder, the sudden contact making him flinch.

“christ, (y/n) are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack?” he grumbles before lighting another cigarette.

“sorry,” you say softly, “would you like some tea?” you figure it could calm his anger and soothe some of his abnormal irritability.

“what? tea? there’s already coffee made,” he says rudely. you take a step back, saying nothing. you know that you didn’t do anything and that this behavior would pass. george was never like this. your eyes find the time and see that george should have left ten minutes ago.

“george, you’re gonna be late to work,” you say, thinking you could at least do something helpful. his head snaps back at you and his once soft face turned hard with anger.

“what are you implying? you want me gone?” he stands up and angrily grabs all of the papers scattered on the table, shoving them into a folder and the folder into his bag, “fine, i’ll leave. im out the door.”

you look at him in confusion, you’d barely woken up and were just trying to help, “what’s the matter with you?”

“what’s the matter with me,” he repeats, looking away and scoffing. he runs his hand through his hair in frustration, “im sick of this, (y/n)! im sick of life. i come home exhausted and you have half a mind to ask me if i want to talk about it!”

“you always want to go straight to bed,” you defend yourself, hurt that he would even suggest that you don’t care about him. his dark eyes glare into your own for a moment that feels like hours, trying to think of somethig clever to say in response, but he just wasn’t ever much of a fighter. he finally chooses to put his cigarette out on the table’s ashtray and grab his coat. if you wanted him out of the house, he was more than happy to comply.

“george-“ you start.

“no,” he cuts you off, “don’t say anything right now, i can’t even look at you.” and he doesn’t, he ignores your presence entirely as he picks up his bag and walks out the door.

you’re left in the cold house, alone, hurt, and dumbfounded. you couldn’t believe what had just happened. you couldn’t believe that george, your george, had taken his anger out on you, simply for trying to help his morning be less shitty. worse than that, he thought you wanted him gone, when all you wanted was to be with him. is this how it was going to be now? a bitter, loveless relationship? your eyes sting with fresh tears at the thought, and a huge lump in your throat grows painfully. you take a deep breath before heading upstairs. you wanted anything but to cry this early in the morning, and the only reason you got up somewhat early was to see george before he left to work. now that your morning was ruined, you figured heading back to bed was the next best thing.

you climb back into your shared bed, suppressing your emotions with the warmth of your fluffy blankets and soft pillows. the comfort of a bed felt almost like a hug, and you sighed, letting the pain drift away as you fell asleep.

————————————————————

when you opened your eyes, the realization hit you. you’d slept until the sun began to set, completely ignoring your emotions, stuffing them down inside of you like an overflowing trash can. being awake made them fling right back at you; sleeping didn’t change a thing, and was only a temporary pause in your pain.

all of your feelings came back to you at once, and it once again felt like you were drowning internally. only this time, the thoughts weren’t the invasive factor. your emotions were overwhelmingly intense on top of your brain practically screaming horrible things to you. your breathing quickens as you feel tears slide down your face. this time you werent able to swallow the thick lump in your throat, and you began to weep softly.

this was it, george was leaving you. he hates you, he wants nothing to do with you. there was nothing you could do but hug your knees and cry. you choked on a sob and started rocking back and forth in attempts to try to soothe yourself. but you couldn’t stop, it felt like your entire world was falling apart. you soon began to have shortness of breath and struggled with your breathing, feeling your heart beat at an intense rate that you couldn’t control.

your bedroom door opens, revealing george’s early arrival. he immediately rushes to your side, afraid to touch you but wanting so bad to comfort you.

“(y/n)? (y/n), breathe. breathe, baby,” he takes your hand and you look at him. you aren’t sure if him being here is making the situation better or worse. seeing him try to help you stirred all kinds of feelings in your mind. you felt like you weren’t good enough for him, like you didn’t deserve his help.

george begins breathing in through his nose and out of his mouth, gently guiding you and hoping you will try to do the same. he sits in front of you on the bed and holds your face in his gentle hands. you look up into his eyes, the chocolate features of his face soothing you as your breath began to steady.

“that’s it,” he encourages.

“do you hate me?” you cry softly.

“what? no, (y/n), i’d give my life for yours, do you know that? you’re so, very special to me,” he slides over to sit beside you on the bed and wraps his long arms around you.

“why are you so distant?” you look up at him, and tears continue to roll down your flushed cheeks, “you acted so mean to me this morning, i feel like you want nothing to do with me.”

george is hurt by your words. he truly didn’t mean to be distant, and he never wanted to hurt you.

“i’m sorry,” he says, “ive been so overwhelmed i haven’t stopped to think of how you must feel. im really sorry my love i never meant to hurt you like this.” he embraces you tightly and you give into his comforting touch, wrapping your arms around his torso and digging your face into his chest. 

you take a deep breath, “i understand,” you say before looking up to him to whisper, “i miss you. i miss us.”

“i miss you too darling,” he pauses for a moment, “how about i take tomorrow off? we can do whatever you’d like.”

you sniffle, “what about the album? the deadline?” 

“i can fake sick. nothing is more important to me than you,” he says, “i want nothing more than to be with you. i love you so much.”

you smile when he presses a soft kiss to your aching head, “now how about we go have something to eat? i’m starved.”

#george harrison #george harrison x reader #the beatles #the beatles x reader #beatles x reader #classic rock #beatlemania #abbey road #revolver #rubber soul #please please me #60s #70s #classic rock fandom #classic rock fanfic #the beatles fanfic #john lennon #john lennon x reader #paul mccartney #paul mccartney x reader #ringo starr #ringo starr x reader #richard starkey #richard starkey x reader

[enchantestuff]

cursed crown (1) - pierre gasly

in which sneaking into Pierres kingdom only means one thing

warnings: smut, royalty au so there's that, language maybe?

please please please let me know what you all think

“Are you alright?” you heard Pierre quietly call from the window above you. You had just arrived at his castle and were currently trying to climb up to the kitchen window, admittedly with no help from the prince himself.

“A little bit of help would be nice, Your Highness” you scoffed. Pierre laughed at the title you gave him but obliged nevertheless, leaning out of the window and stretching his arm downwards, waving it in front of your face teasingly. You rolled your eyes as you grabbed hold of it, “I thought I was supposed to be the mean one out of the two of us” you muttered when you finally climbed through the window and planted your feet firmly on the ground. You brushed some dirt away from your coat before finally meeting his beautiful blue eyes.

“Perhaps you're rubbing off on me, my lady,” Pierre grinned. He grabbed hold of your hand and quickly led the two of you out of the grand kitchen, carefully glancing across corridors and hiding behind walls as maids and a variety of guests walked through his pristine palace. You thought you would have been used to sneaking around his home by now, you had been doing it for months after all, but the trek from the kitchen to his bedroom was never an easy one. Even though Pierre had repeatedly confessed to you that this certain day of each month was the quietest, there still seemed to be countless people roaming the halls.

“I do quite hope you haven't acquired only my bad traits, Pierre,” you whispered, quickly glancing behind you as you ran up the stairs and into his bedroom. This was the riskiest part of your journey. The stairs that led up to his bedroom were open for anyone and everyone to see, whether it be from the inside balcony above or from the spacious hall below.

Pierre laughed at your comment, quickly shutting his bedroom door behind him and twisting his body around to face you. He placed his hands on your hips as he led you further into his bedroom. “Are you insinuating that you have any desirable qualities, my love?” he joked, his beloved silly grin quickly making its way onto his face causing your own smile to erupt on your own. These moments with Pierre were the only times you could truly be yourself and they didn't come around too often.

“Well of course, your highness” you smiled, snaking your hands up his arms to rest on his biceps. Pierre jokingly cocked an eyebrow at you, his hands trailing lower down your body, unable to keep them still for a second.

“And why is that?” he pondered, frowning slightly as you pulled away from him to take off your coat and climb onto his freshly made bed, getting comfortable in the silk sheets before peeking at him through your lashes.

“Because you crawl into bed with me every month” you teased. Your eyes trailed across his bedside table, smiling at the familiarity of it. Since the beginning of your late night rendezvous the contents of the table had never changed. There always lay a map of Othain, a journal which he had forbidden you to read and his beloved crown, the one that always lay atop of his head except during these moments with you and of course, when he was sleeping.

You carefully picked the crown up from where it lay and placed it onto your own head. It was much lighter than your own, less jewels scattered around it. It was a breath of fresh air. You didn't feel suffocated wearing it. Didn't feel weighed down by what it symbolized. “Now as your queen, i command you to come over here, for i have been deprived of your touch for far too long”

Pierre chuckled at your words, his steps towards his bed were deliberately slow. He knew how to tease you and from the glare you sent his way, he knew it was working. He crawled onto his bed, positioning himself on top of you and adjusting his crown on your head. “Well then, your majesty, I suspect that I am obliged to prove myself to you?” he jokingly questioned.

“Those are quite possibly the smartest words to leave your lips, my love” you commented. Unable to contain yourself any further, you pulled him towards you, finally connecting your lips after weeks apart from one another. Pierre didn't hesitate to kiss you back, but the short lasting kiss was not what you expected and a frown appeared on your face the minute he pulled away. “As much as I love your teasing, Pierre, I would really prefer it if you didn’t indulge in those habits right now.”

He smirked evilly as he trailed one of his hands down your thigh. “Is her majesty upset with my actions?” he pondered, his smirk not once leaving his face as he crawled further down the bed. Kisses were scattered across your thigh and the silent frustrated sigh that left your lips was a good enough answer for Pierre.

“Her majesty thinks she should get what she wants,” you selfishly spoke. You pulled lightly on Pierre's hair, a desperate attempt to get you closer to him again, to remove his lips from your thigh and place them on your own instead. Was that really too much to ask for?

“Well, I personally think she needs to stop being a brat and shut up for once in her life.” Your lips parted to scold him for his language but instead of rude comments, moans of pure delight seemed to leave your lips as Pierre attached his mouth to your core. He knew how to shut you up and for once in your life, you weren't complaining.

You tugged on his hair, pulling him closer into you as your head fell back in pleasure. Pierres crown slipped to fall beside you on the pillow but you paid it no mind as you felt pleasure pass through you like lightning bolts. “Oh Pierre,” you moaned as he lapped at your core similar to a man deprived of a meal. He couldn’t get enough of you.

Pierres fingers dug into your thighs as he moved to suck on your clit. “Shit,” you cursed as you felt the familiar knot begin to build in your stomach. After spending so much time with you and your body, Pierre believed he knew you inside out, which as a result meant he knew exactly when you were going to cum. He felt oh so evil as he brought you to your peak, only to pull away from you at the last second. The frown on your face was enough to make him feel slightly guilty. Only slightly.

“I am going to declare war on you, Pierre Gasly, '' you seethed, completely unsatisfied and now purely annoyed. You hadn’t trekked all the way to his kingdom in the middle of the night just for him to bring you towards the most amazing pleasure imaginable and leave you high and dry at the last moment.

“I'm afraid you don't have the power to do that yet, love” he grinned. He didn't give you any time to come up with a witty reply as he placed a chaste kiss to your lips before undressing himself in front of you.

“Is this your form of apologizing?” because well, it was working, there's just something about a handsome prince undressing before your very eyes that got you going.

“I was planning on making you cum over and over again, love” he spoke, stretching his arm out beside your head in order to place his crown back on your head. You looked so powerful with it on. You always looked powerful, but his own crown laying in your hair brought freshness to you that he didn't know was possible. It made his chest lighten and butterflies erupt in his stomach. It made him feel five again. “But if this is enough im happy to stop here and continue another time.”

You scoffed at him. Keeping one hand on the crown, you trailed your hand down your body, gripping onto your breast, maintaining eye contact with him as you did so, before moving further down your body. You ran your fingers up and down your folds, spreading the wetness gathered there before inserting one inside. “If you cant pleasure me, i guess i'll have to do it myself,” you muttered, knowing deep down that there was nothing Pierre hated more than you pleasuring yourself in front of him. It felt like a betrayal. Like he wasn’t enough.

Your plan succeeded spectacularly, as they always did, and in no time he was positioned on top of you, his tip teasingly brushing against your entrance. He dragged your hand away from your core and held it above your head. His grip was almost death-like and you found yourself relishing in the pain it brought.

“Don't doubt me for a second, love” Pierre grunted in your ear as he tapped his cock against your clit. You bit your lip at the sensation but allowed him to continue with his scolding. You knew there was nothing but love behind his words and so, to no surprise, you got more excited with each word that fell from his lips. “I think you know first hand the kind of pleasure I can bring you.” You gasped at the feeling of him filling you up. After nearly two weeks of not seeing each other, the sensation of him inside you was better than you had remembered. You transferred his crown onto his own head, an indication that whatever power you had over him was now practically non-existent. You were truly at his mercy.

“I'm sure you haven't forgotten the many times i've made you scream, love. I can do it again if your memory has begun to fail you.”

Pierre was always one to live up to his word. His sharp deliberate thrusts made your eyes roll back and several moans escaped your lips. You haven't been with any other man except Pierre and you would never need to. He knew your body more than you did and the delight that he brought you was extraordinary.

The squeezing of your wrist made your eyes snap open. His beautiful eyes were already watching you withering underneath him. A look of pure adoration plastered on his face as his hips continued to move at a rapid pace. “Shit, Pierre”

Pierre shook his head at you, a lopsided grin replacing his usual smirk as he leaned down to kiss your chest. “That's not what i want to hear, love.”

He was playing your own game against you, but you were too full of gratification to care. “P- please, your highness.” A blush crept up your cheeks at the seriousness of your own voice. You were no longer mocking him with his title but moaning it in pure delight.

Pierre cocked his head at you, “Please what, love? Use your words.” Tingles made its way onto your skin from kisses he scattered over your neck, goosebumps trailing in their wake. You didn't even process your words until they were out in the open.

“Fuck me like your life depends on it.”

And he did. His thrusts became unbelievably precise, his free hand roamed your body, circling and squeezing all the right places while his other intertwined with yours. You knew there would be marks left from where he had held on too hard, but you didn't see it as a mark of pain rather than an indication of what had gone on between you two.  A reminder for the next long two weeks ahead of you.

The clenching of your walls for the second time that night indicated to Pierre you were close. “Hold on, love” he ushered. Something that was incredibly hard to do when he was pounding into you like an animal and circling your clit like he was under a spell.

“I - i can't,” you sobbed. You wanted so bad to release the knot in your stomach, to catch the orgasm you had been chasing all night.

“I said hold it.” He was in control, that much was clear, but you could only hold on for so long until your body couldn’t take it anymore.

“P - pierre, fuck!”

“That's it, love,” Pierre groaned in your ear, “Hold on for just another moment, such a good girl for me.” Your eyes rolled back and your gripped onto his hand for dear life. “Don't know what id do without you.” Your heart skipped a beat and tears began welling in your eyes. “Look so pretty right now, taking me like the queen you'll soon be.” Your breath increased and a whimper left your lips.

“You can let go now, love.”

Nights with Pierre were often sleepless. You had plenty of time to sleep when you were alone in your bedroom. Two nights each month you spent facing the beautiful prince, talking about utter nonsense until your cheeks hurt from smiling too hard and your eyes drooped from being awake for too long.

“Im being sent somewhere tomorrow,” you whispered into the darkness, playing with his hands as you dared to break the silence around you. You could feel him tense up next to you, obviously assuming the worst and imagining an attack his own kingdom. His own people. “Not you, “ you reassured, your heart fluttering when he immediately relaxed beside you, “Some rebels gathering together behind the mountains, I’ll have to leave early in the morning.”

It hurt you to cut your already short time with Pierre even shorter, but duty called and once your father demands your presence on a mission, you had no choice than show up.

“I hate the fact you have to go out on these stupid battles,” Pierre confided. He hadn’t taken his eyes off you all night, wanting to imprint the image of your face in his mind until the next time he saw you again.

“Well, unlike you, I have to prove myself to everyone.” It was the harsh reality of your world, one that you were reminded of at each public event you attended. You were a woman and for that reason, deemed unworthy of ruling.

“You wouldn’t have to prove yourself to anyone if you ran away with me,” he reminded. Without fail, every time you met up with Pierre, he brought up the idea of running far away to another kingdom, one where the two of you could live like commoners and not have to worry about the state of a kingdom nor dooming battles. It was a daydream that both frightened and enticed you in the best ways possible.

“You really think you can survive without all this luxury?” you pondered, your hands immediately running up and down the silk sheets on top of you as your eyes floated across the numerous jewels and paintings scattered around his room.

“With you next to me?” he asked. His hand came to rest on your jaw, moving your face closer to his own as he spoke his true desires out loud, “Of course.”

#pierre gasly imagine #pierre gasly #pierre gasly smut #pierre gasly x reader #f1 imagine #f1 smut #f1 #f1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 #formula 1 smut #formula 1 x reader #formula one imagine #formula one x reader #formula one #au #royalty au #x reader