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sohotthateveryonedied · 4 years

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Slipping Through My Fingers

Read here on AO3!

When it comes to his children, Bruce has very few regrets. He loves them completely, scars and all. He wouldn’t want to change a single part of them.

But he can’t lie and say that he doesn’t regret the timing with which each of these beautiful souls entered his life. Bruce has six children, but he’s never had a baby, and isn’t that wrong? Isn’t that a pity? He missed so much of their lives—so many milestones that every parent wants to remember forever but that he’s not even had glimpses of. He wasn’t there for the first steps or the lost teeth or learning how to ride a bike. He missed all of his children learning to talk, missed watching Sesame Street with them in the morning and making soapy mohawks in the bathtub. Bruce missed everything. He missed moments that he can’t get back, no matter how hard he yearns for a rewind. Take him back. Return to him the moments he lost without even knowing it until they’d already slipped through his fingers. Bruce has a few mementos to get him by, but they only grant him glimpses of the years he missed. Dick has a bin of old tapes from the Flying Graysons’ best performances that he likes to watch on bad days. Occasionally he’ll let Bruce watch with him. There’s something magical about watching the young boy in the tapes swing on the trapeze and pull gravity-defying moves, all the while knowing what a strong man that boy will one day become. Jason came to the manor with very little, having to travel light while on the streets. There’s a shoebox under the bed in his old room salvaged from his mother’s things, containing a handful of photos from Jason’s toddler years, a stuffed animal or two, some loose possessions. Bruce used to go through them after Jason’s death, just to give himself something to hold on to. Tim had more than Dick and Jason combined: plenty of photos, report cards, baby teeth, and coloring books all saved in storage. But as much as there was, Bruce still only had glimpses of the real Tim. Every family photo was stiff, like an assortment of plastic dolls. The papers and drawings that have been collected are too crisp, like they were shoved into a childhood folder and forgotten about without a second glance, not even making it to the refrigerator. All Bruce has of Cass’ childhood are videotapes of training sessions. He refuses to watch them, for both her sake and his own. Duke has a photo album he keeps in his bedroom, compiling plenty of baby pictures and family vacations. He’s only shown it to Bruce once. Otherwise, he keeps it in his bookshelf, untouched but for the handful of times he’s visited his parents, showing them old memories in case it will miraculously jog something and put the shards of them back together. The longer it doesn’t work, the less he’s willing to tell. The League of Assassins has an entire storage room of files on Damian’s development. Bruce has seen it. It’s like every move the boy made was monitored and catalogued, detailed without so much as a lick of emotion to remind anyone that this was a child being discussed. There were no shiny milestones to celebrate, only completed stages. No one commemorated his first word or first time seeing a butterfly, but his first time using a wakizashi sword earned five entire pages. If Bruce could go back in time, he would snatch up every one of his children and give them the lives they deserve, right from the start. No pain. No dead parents. No neglect, no heartache, no scavenging on the streets just to survive the night. He would wipe their slates clean if it meant he could stave off their suffering, just for a little while longer. He would do anything to go back.

Back when Bruce was a child and tragedy hadn’t yet torn his family to bloody shreds, there was one Fourth of July on which his parents took him to the circus. Alfred had an open invitation to accompany them, but, being a Brit, he politely declined from the day’s festivities. “I’ll have you know, young sir, that I served as a spy for the British forces and mentored Alexander Hamilton during his teenage years.” Bruce was ninety-nine percent sure that Alfred wasn’t alive during the American Revolution. That day was the first time Bruce had been to the circus. It was a local one, small with very few extravagant spectacles, but his father bought him peanuts and afterward the three of them watched the fireworks in Gotham Park. It was a day that imprinted itself on Bruce’s memory, sticking with him long after they were gone. So when he sees a flyer announcing that Haly’s International Traveling Circus is visiting Metropolis on the same day Bruce has an interview with Lois Lane for some column on America’s wealthiest men, how can he turn the opportunity down? The air is warmed by summer rays, the entire field radiating Metropolis’ natural brightness. The scent of peanuts and popcorn wafts from all sides and the classic tinkling circus music fills his ears. The show doesn’t start for another half hour, so Bruce settles on walking around, unsure of what to do with himself. He should get some photos to bring home for Alfred. He’s always had a fascination with jugglers. After some perusing, Bruce pulls up under a tree, shaded against the thick trunk. He’s just pressed send on the pictures to Alfred when he hears a voice from above. “Hey, mister.” Bruce looks up to discover a boy perched on a tree branch two feet above his head. The kid looks around six years old with black hair that curls around his ears. He’s wearing a bright red and green costume—obviously one of the performers. How a child his age came to be part of the circus, Bruce can’t begin to guess. He’s missing his front teeth and his skin, tan with a honey glow, makes his nationality hard to place. Bruce blinks up at the boy. “Hello.” The kid drops down and catches on the branch with his hands, dangling with his bare feet kicking in the air. “Whatcha doing here?” Now that he’s paying attention, Bruce can detect the slightest accent. Romani, perhaps? “Why does anyone come to the circus?” The boy laughs. “You don’t look like the kind of person who goes to the circus.” “Then what kind of person do I look like?” The boy thinks, swinging back and forth like a cartoon monkey. How his hands aren’t scraped raw from gripping the rough bark, Bruce doesn’t know. “A lawyer, maybe. Or a president.” The corner of Bruce’s mouth lifts. “I’m neither of those things, unfortunately.” “Well, I’m an acrobat.” “I can see that.” “But I do other stuff too,” the kid tells him, “like I know how to juggle and how to walk on stilts and how to throw knives at targets. I’m getting real good at that.” “Are you sure a kid your age should be playing with knives?” The boy laughs. “You think knives are scary? You should see it when they let me play with the tigers.” Bruce arches an eyebrow. “You play with tigers?” That can’t be safe. Maybe he should have a talk with the ringmaster and make sure someone is ensuring that no little boy heads are getting bitten off by mighty jaws. “Oh yeah, the tigers are the best.” The kid swings his body upward, letting go of the branch and pulling a heart-stopping somersault midair as he falls. He lands on his feet without a wobble. “I know all of their names and they’re huge, like they’re this big”—he stretches out his arms as far as they will go, which makes the tigers a whopping two and a half feet tall—”and sometimes I’m even allowed to ride them!” Bruce leans back against the tree trunk, crossing his arms with a smile. “Is that right?” “Yeah!” The kid then launches into a string of chatter, so fast that it takes all of Bruce’s focus to keep up. He tells Bruce all about the circus’ tigers: what breed they are, how many they have, what they eat, what their names are (their actual names and the names the kid gave them; Marshmallow is his favorite), and how his dad once gave him permission to hold a hoop while a tiger leapt through it. The entire time, Bruce can’t help but wonder, is this what childhood is supposed to be like? Swinging on tree branches and giving oral reports about your favorite animals to complete strangers? Is this what growing up is like for normal children? Bruce doesn’t know whether to be envious of this little boy or concerned. He’s so innocent; it bleeds from every grin. There’s nothing weighing this kid down—literally and figuratively—and Bruce finds himself silently praying to a being he doesn’t believe in that it never changes. Let this kid stay pure, untouched by the evils of the world. Let him go his whole life swinging on branches and talking about tigers without a single setback. After a good ten minutes when the boy’s tumbled into a handstand and has moved on to tell Bruce about his favorite elephant Zitka, a feminine voice rings, “There you are, Dick. I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” A beautiful woman approaches the pair, wearing an identical red and green leotard. She’s got matching black hair and blue eyes—too spitting of an image to be anyone but his mother. “Come on, sweetheart, we’re supposed to be backstage.” “Sorry, Mom,” Dick says, turning right-side up, but he hasn’t lost his grin. Now that he thinks of it, Bruce doesn’t recall it waning once in the entire time they’ve been talking. She takes in Bruce, suit and all, and plasters on a stage smile, sticking out her hand. “Mary Grayson. You’ll have to forgive my son, he gets excited easily. He’ll talk your ear off for hours if you let him.” But the glimmer in her eye gives Bruce an inclination that she has no problem being an audience for her son’s happy rants. Bruce shakes her hand. “Bruce. I take it you’re the Flying Graysons I’ve been hearing so much about?” “The very same. I hope you’ll be seeing our show tonight.” “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He winks at the littlest Grayson, who beams. Mary ruffles Dick’s hair. “Well, this little robin and I should be getting ready now. It was a pleasure meeting you, Bruce.” “Likewise.” He leans down and shakes Dick’s small hand. “And if you ever come to Gotham, maybe you can tell me more about those tigers, eh?” Dick looks like he contains the sun itself. He’s sunshine incarnate. “Definitely!” He drags his feet when his mom starts leading him away, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. “Bye, Mr. Bruce!” He waves his hand like a windmill of its hinges, and Bruce can’t help but return it. Bruce hasn’t felt this content in a long time to the point where he has to stop in wonderment of it. It’s unlikely that Haly’s will end up coming to a place like Gotham anytime soon, but Bruce hopes for it anyway. After all, Gotham could use some sunshine.

Here’s the rest of it on AO3 because I don’t feel like formatting all 7,000 words on here lmao.

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omegatheunknown · 3 years

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AEW ALL OUT 2021

In which, not to get ahead of myself here, AEW puts on one of the best major wrestling shows in several years*, following the simple yet effective principle of giving the people what they want and sending everyone home happy and hungry for more.

- The incredibly 'Nitro' ending of the go-home Dynamite, which ran a little long on the 'heels beat everyone up and strut around like assholes almost too in desperate need of comeuppance' bit, short of garbage raining into the ring, did actually increase the heat for both promoted matches. Again, not rocket science, but executed perfectly. Catharsis was on the card, and catharsis went over several times Sunday. - Again, it's time to move on from the Casino theme, shuffling the deck and drawing suits really only detracted from the Battle Royale and seemingly always throws the production crew a curve. If they haven't hammered it by now, it's not going to happen. - Bit unhappy about the PAC/Andrade situation, but still over the moon with Andrade's promo style and Chavito being unhelpful at best.

*Pre-Card

Best Friends and Jurassic Express v The Hardy Family Office and The Hybrid 2 (**) - Not usually much to say about a loaded-up multiteam boondoggle, particularly when the show has yet to begin, but there were some moments worth sitting up to take notice -- there's a lot of talent in the ring, even if Jack Evans/Angelico aren't going to be more than mid-level mooks, little matchups with guys like Luchasaurus and Chuck Taylor are opportunities for innovative/weird spots. - Really this match exists to show-off Jungle Boy, play his theme song twice, and work him in to the aforementioned spots. I don't rightly know what Jungle Jack's ceiling is, but it sort of feels like he's plateauing, at least this version of himself. - Dan Lambert thing is interesting in that it doesn't seem to easily lead to something obvious... I mean who are Scorp and Ethan Page feuding with by proxy here, the concept of contemporary professional wrestling? Orange Cassidy and Kenny Omega?

*Main Card

Miro (C) v Eddie Kingston for the TNT Championship (***1/2) - 'Redeem Deez Nuts' T-shirts now available -- and made immediately redundant now that Miro has graciously redeemed Eddie's nuts. - Imagine looking at Miro, listening to Miro talk, and not really being able to figure out this guy is money. Also imagine panicking when he took a little while to find his groove in AEW. 'The Redeemer' is both entertaining and terrifying, and this match delivered heavily on the promise of two big fellas smacking together repeatedly. - Not only does Eddie's arsenal of power moves target Miro's neck, he may also be quite difficult to put in the full reclined camel clutch. Or he'd quite literally snap in half. It didn't come to that. - Weird heel turn by Bryce's attention span and the overall weirdness of the finish is all that kept this from being an excellent match, otherwise this was a tremendous curtain jerker and started off a dangerously fun run of pure adrenaline.

Jon Moxley v Satoshi Kojima (****) - The stakes were nebulous, the build was abrupt, yet this was a fantastic match and tremendous showcase for an underappreciated great who has been more or less just toiling for a bunch of years as a NJPW Dad. Same deal for Nagata, and I assume Tenzan is the same, Taka Michinoku even -- let's see it. - I have to assume the Cozy Lariat might have put Mox down, but Kojima otherwise played the hits (Koji Cutter, Piledriver, Brainbustaaaa) in a big way and Moxley once again proved he's become a very well-rounded wrestler who can match the intensity of just about any former IWGP champion. - More to the point-- KAZE NI NARE -- out of nowhere, too. Or out of nowhere to those not paying attention to the whereabouts of Minoru Suzuki (Right, he's just over here to fight Daniel Garcia and not Mox?), which I guess is to my own peril. Wow, though. Surprise Number 1- a complete surprise, and a welcome one. Let's have it.

Dr Britt Baker, DMD (C) v Kris Statlander for the AEW Women's Championship (****) - I love Kris and her best friends but she didn't have a prayer of dethroning Britt. She got one promo, several weeks ago, and though she did make a meal of Hayter and Rebel, the chase has been abrupt and not given much discussion, other than Mark Henry and whomever else acknowledging what is extremely evident -- Statlander is stronger than she looks, and she looks really strong. They've got her doing Cesaro-level 'modify your grip while holding your opponent's entire weight' nonsense, and it's amazing and scary. - Even with the reign of the good doctor not being credibly threatened, this was an excellent match that demonstrated the continued growth of the competitors in the women's division, even as it underlined that their storylines remain undercooked and perfunctory: Orange Cassidy whipping off his shades to urge Stat to get up was a beautiful moment. Britt's Panama Sunrise, also, too sweet. Statlander eating shit on her 451 and her pendulum moonsault was properly brutal, as were Britt's curb stomps. Really great match between these two. - Again, if they had bothered to write anything into this story, such as Kris' alien physiology making her immune to the lockjaw or something... actually, maybe that's a terrible idea. it's an idea. Undefeated challenger is defeated, on to the next for Dr Britt. Statlander and OC should tag against some of the boys.

The Young Bucks (C) v The Lucha Bros for the AEW World Tag Team Championship(*****+) - Can't not mention the insane entrance lined up for Fenix and Penta. It was bewildering, it was enchanting, it was aggressive, it was hype. It also reminded everybody how very badly we all wanted the Lucha Bros to win. The crowd has been setting new peaks with their volume since Punk showed up, but things were absolutely thunderous and ecstatic at the end of this match. Absolutely valid response. I yelled on the couch. - Nick's facial hair was a bigger tell that it was time for the Bucks to lose than anything else about this build. There's literally nowhere to go from there -- they've done the hair, the bandanas, the kicks, the animal print, the dangly earrings -- peak visual heel for this time and place. - Sincerely thought this was going to be too much of a full sprint spot-fest (the PWG-esque circle of trading blows is not really 'my thing') but even so they kept finding gears, and ramping and ramping and adding blood and brutality along the way. Even a bit of levity, with the tacked up sneaker, followed by the sincerity of Penta throwing himself in harm's way to protect his brother. Immense match, I think you'd have to go back to the Bucks vs the Addiction and MCMGs Ladder War to find a more thrilling tag team gimmick match. - If there's a single flaw to be found it's in the production not really settling on wide angles for simultaneous action at the start of the match. They figured it out. - Rey Fenix is the best luchador in the world.

Women's Casino Battle Royale (**1/2) - If nothing else, this really shows off that they now have a surplus of women's wrestlers who deserve time to hang in the ring. Unsurprisingly, the match picked right up when Thunder Rosa and then Jamie Hayter got to the ring, with additional props to Tay Conti and Jade Cargill, who was dumped rather unceremoniously given her general booking... - Okay, there was something else. Welcome to the rechristened Ruby Soho, who I've not seen a lot of outside of her extremely limited showcase in WWE, but she has so many friends in the back and in the industry and that's never for nothing, not in wrestling, anyway. Intrigued to see where she fits, and if the women ever get more than a match per show. - Touched on this in the preamble but this was the roughest part of the night for the home viewer, just weird decisions on cutting away from various entrances to show... nothing in particular happening. Also while the commitment to not-kayfabing the countdown clock is... admirable? It makes the pacing hinky. - Almost everyone who got new gear for tonight was looking like the white ranger -- Nyla, Swole, Bunny, someone I'm missing. Except Anna Jay, whose stars and glitter gear looked great.

MJF v Chris Jericho for the fate of Jericho's in-ring career (***) - MJF's unauthorized homage to Y2J's entrance: good. Fozzy's guitarist going off tempo with the instrumental Judas: weak, and would've been sad if this were the end for Jericho. Especially as the build has felt... muted, somehow. - Props to the commentary for continuing to feed the red herring of 'in AEW,' as a caveat to stipulation, it did feel like... a remote possibility that MJF would win. - Credit to Aubrey for calling this one down the middle and not putting the fix in for her friend Jericho, and I guess the Dusty finish will give MJF plenty to gripe about. - MJF wrestles with a pure heel style, holds, chops, blocks, and Jericho is fifty years old, so the level of wrestling on exhibition in these matches is well beside the point. It was solid to good, and I was fighting burn out from the first half of the card's level of excitement.

CM Punk v Darby Allin (***1/2) - There are a couple benefits of Darby as a dance partner, and it's certainly better than having to watch Punk return against like, QT Marshall or Shawn Spears. Darby does make everyone look slow, but he can also be tossed around, and this raises his profile even in defeat, obviously. That said, the stakes here are... meta, at best, in that we want to see the man look good and justify the hype. It's a weird thing to root for. He certainly does look good. (Tights? Tights!) - It's fun to theorize about actually booking an angle where Punk is rusty and needs to regain his prowess, and maybe he'll stumble, but maybe the most we get out of that angle is hitting the GTS a little close to the ropes so Darby falls right out of the ring, in what was, for me, the spot that justified this whole match. - Sting's proud step-dad aura is still a hell of a thing, I really liked the end of the match kudos all around. - Match was good, hard to hang my emotions on. I wasn't watching WWE when Punk was in WWE. Definitely feeding off the excitement of others a bit here, and he sure can talk. I'd like to see him cultivate a stable, certainly.

Paul Wight v QT Marshall (n/r) - ...popcorn match? QT Marshall is like the anti-Daniel Garcia in that while his prominence and presence is just as inexplicable, I don't want it to continue, and he doesn't justify it in the process. - Match was two minutes longer than it needed to be.

Kenny Omega (c) v Christian Cage for the AEW World Championship (****1/2) - Crowd was both burnt out and more or less waiting for the post-match angle. Which I get. it's hard to cruise to the main event and having seen all the different things we've already seen on this card, even a singular performer like Kenny Omega and a legend with whom he (surprisingly? fittingly?) has superb chemistry with in Christian Cage were up against it to deliver something memorable. - Context dependent, I can definitely see rating this below their Rampage match, especially since... I mean Christian isn't winning the AEW title off Kenny at this or probably any other event. - But! It was really good! It was very good! They really do match-up well, and Kenny's v-trigger has rarely looked more devastating than when it knocks Christian flat. Christian got cut open in a novel and initially worrying way, and Kenny followed up a botched moonsault with a harder version of the same move off a rail, but it was a really great match and it deserved more energy than was available.

Post-Show - Calling back and inverting the end of Dynamite, The Elite strut about the ring, slightly less stoked than they were on Wednesday, but with the Bucks smiling through the pain, and Jungle Boy once again subjected to violence for his misguided heroism, Kenny 'not much a promo' Omega lays down a killer line about nobody being fit to challenge him who isn't unavailable, already tired or dead. - The Undertaker ADAM COLE, BAY BAY as Surprise #3 was a minor stroke of brilliance, and a fun swerve because while it's exciting to see him, his appearance at this point in the narrative does nothing to solve the problem of The Elite beating up Christian and Jungle Boy. Unless he's still sore about his unsolved murder, which he isn't. Storytime with Adam Cole is back and it's beautiful. Also Jungle Boy died for this. - Okay. But. Just. Okay. CM Punk and Bryan Danielson are All Elite. They will hopefully tag together. Bryan will head to NJPW, almost definitely. Minoru Suzuki just walked in and started slugging on Mox. The Forbidden Door is wide open. Will Kenny Omega one day return to Wrestle Kingdom? There are so many possibilities and they are all very exciting. This was a phenomenal show and it didn't have Hangman Page, Cody Rhodes, FTR, Santana and Ortiz, PAC, Andrade, Sammy Guevara, Team Taz, and the rest.

- Wrestling is good, actually. Imagine watching like five hours of wrestling and loving wrestling at the end of it.

*What competes- WK11, Dominion 2018, 2019, DoN 2019, 2021.. All-In, probably. Wrestlemania 30. A few Takeovers. Kris Wolf's retirement show...

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uponrightful · 3 years

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"You aren’t alone. He thought, feeling the girl’s deep breaths rising and falling under his chest. Her head turned away from the glaring sunlight, unknowingly resting her forehead against his chest where she could find shadows. Small hands slid out from under the blankets, pulling them high over her shoulders before finding a more comfortable spot flat against his stomach." I would love to know what they were both thinking here when they woke up together <3 Such a sweet moment!

Commentary Track for Welcome Company

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Hi there anon! ☺️ This is the first request for Welcome Company, and I'm squealing at the opportunity to talk about Wolffe again!!! He's such a sweetheart, and I hate not giving him the love he deserves! 🤍🤍 🐺

***

Let's start out with our beloved Commander Wolffe, shall we?

Wolffe's first reaction is to jump out of the bed. Put as much distance between them as possible and find his bucket so he can shove it over his face. Desperation to hide his appearance.

The Commander knows that his face draws attention, and it's not always the good kind. It scares shinies into staying in line, and gives him respect amongst other clone leadership. But Wolffe isn't at drill, nor is he on a battle field. He's in the home of a woman who's made a career out of hiding behind corners and being a silent presence in her own home. Wolffe's afraid of scaring her, worried she'll think there's something wrong with him, terrified that something about him isn't worth catering to in such a caring way. He knows what it's like to be thought of as defective, and how little he means to the Republic as a whole... Had it not been for Master Plo's love for him, a decommissioning would've been the last note on his career register.

Note: I've never seen Wolffe in the "feral" way most do. He might be snarky, and a little grumpy, but that's because of his unique experience with 'failure'. He's seen death, and failure seems to follow him in many ways. I've always thought Wolffe would see his scar as a reminder of failure to others, and a reflection of his ineffective leadership. When I delved into his character, I wanted to make him less "dominant" and a little more "glass-half-empty". Not only does it fit his past experiences, but it makes him a lot more complex than simply tossing him into the "he's mean and likes to fuck hard" vibe.

The moment Wolffe actually realizes that he's not just laying with her, but touching her... It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience that he's too bewildered to get the full enjoyment of. In the back of his mind he knows she'd been the one to make this move, but he still feels responsible for not keeping his hands to himself. I mean, kriff... He's a Commander in the GAR. Saying the night was enough to have him executed by firing squad as it was, let alone finding her sharing this bed with him.

He's never seen anyone look this relaxed around him... trusting that his presence isn't harmful or scary. Wolffe had tried to pull himself away out of respect, but she's still searching him out, despite being asleep. Her fingers wrapped in his shirt and the soft heat radiating off her is already becoming an addictive feeling Wolffe didn't know he could develop, and he's trying his best to be respectful, but not cold towards her. After all, he'd went to sleep alone; So there had to be a reason she'd joined him. That's when it clicks; The reason he's slept so good... why he didn't feel like he'd been tossed from a gunship without a jetpack. It's because this girl had soothed the constant funnel of nightmares and fears that interrupted his sleep.

Note: I wanted Wolffe to experience his first moment of intimate uncertainty. He's had hook-ups, but nothing romantic. This is part of his nature. Sex is one thing; A release, either by his own doing or with the willing assistance of someone else. But intimacy; It's something Wolffe considers for civilians, and not something he can partake in. As a character, I think his moral compass runs the straight and narrow. He doesn't take relationships lightly, and in this moment, he's being challenged as to how to navigate something he's thought only happens to civilians. It's cute, and seeing Wolffe flustered like this wasn't just fun to create, it's just how his disposition would have saw fit to respond.

When she looks at him, Wolffe is internally panicking. This is when he's certain she'll wince in disgust or scream at him to leave. That panic freezes him though, and it's this reaction that forces the Commander to realize that she's nothing short of curious. No judgment, no unwanted sympathy, not a hint of disgust. Wolffe's never thought of himself as particularly good-looking, and considering there were millions like him, that didn't bode well for someone finding him in particular worth this kind of attention. She's soothing him, and whether he's willing to admit it or not, Wolffe is preening under her soft touches despite not understanding why he likes it so much.

Pup is very pretty and the Commander is trying to figure out how to keep her attention, but not scare her off. He's trying not to stumble over his words, but he can't get her voice out of his mind. Wolffe hadn't spent a day since his first visit wondering what this girl looked like, sounded like... Literally everything. He wants to know exactly what kind of woman would spend her time catering to the likes of clones. He thinks of her as this kind of deity most of the time, and interacting with her makes the dreams all the more real now that he's seen her, and she's even more beautiful that her ever could've pictured.

Note: Wolffe is really experiencing old-fashioned "love at first sight". I know it's simple, but that's just how a relationship with Wolffe would come about. He's a simple man when it comes to love, even though he doesn't realize it. Wolffe only falls in love once, and he's going to know right away. The time spent getting to know her though the little interactions behind walls, his admiration/thankfulness for what she does... It shows her character, and although Wolffe isn't one to get hung-up on someone's appearance (this excludes his own) he's instantly attracted to her. I wanted him to have the "high-school hard-on" experience as well. It's amusing, but really he's never been exposed to someone he finds attractive like this. And it's a startling experience because Wolffe isn't easily distracted with more... carnal desires.

Wolffe senses that there's something different about her right away, and with every minute after this, he's just realizing that she's special. He's always a little hesitant that she's not going to feel that little connection, but it never goes away and Pup just keeps coming back to him.

Now let's get to Pup;

The first thing she does is try to keep the Commander from bolting out of the house. She knows the stories from his brothers, and this isn't the way she wanted to meet him. Her shyness is a huge complication, but she assumes Wolffe isn't too upset with her considering he'd not ran out the second he woke up. Her affection isn't really purposeful, and for the most part she doesn't really even realize she's doing it. But Wolffe is warm, and there's something about him that isn't terrifying her.

That first good look at his face is one she'll never forget. Those little sneaking glimpses of him gave her a good idea of what Wolffe looked like, but that was nothing like seeing him up this close. She's never seen cybernetics before, and although it's rude to stare, Pup can't help but think Wolffe looks absolutely beautiful. High cheekbones, full lips, a mess of curls on his head... He looks relaxed; A seasoned soldier, but relaxed nonetheless. And for Pup, seeing him look happy is a massive accomplishment. (Her own embarrassment for falling asleep with him aside.)

Note: Pup is extremely shy when the least bit embarrassed. That being said, her level of patience and the feeling of security she gives others was a purposeful choice. I wanted Wolffe to have someone soft. She's not weak by any means, but she just a wonderfully soothing person to be around. And Wolffe would really take to a person like that. I thought someone who could support him emotionally by understanding his hesitance would be an extremely interesting dynamic. But also really heartwarming to see.

Wolffe is so very kind and Pup is wonderfully captured by it. Such an intimidating man suddenly nervous to speak to someone such as herself... It's endearing, and that's gives her a confidence she'd otherwise have not possessed when talking to him. Pup makes sure she tells him this wasn't all her own doing, out of attempt to provide some reassurance that his personal space wasn't totally infringed upon, but when she chose to show him those little bruises, she'd not expected to see how upset he looked over that.

It wasn't the first time her late-night nightmare soothes had ended in a few little purple marks, but Wolffe looked almost distraught at the sight. Like he'd intentionally hurt her, instead of it being the accident of his upset that had been the cause. Pup wore them like badges of honor, and it was a little cute to see such a warrior silently fussing at himself for simply demanding attention from someone when he needed it most. At this point, her touch was meant to help soothe the Commander out of his self-punishing attitude and ease those deep wrinkles off his forehead. To her great pleasure, it worked like a charm. A commanding officer couldn't have ordered Wolffe to soften up any quicker than she'd managed to do it with a couple little rubs. It was the first time Pup didn't have the slightest inclination to move away, far too happy to see anything she did being so happily accepted.

Note: Wolffe and Pup had to have this moment. I couldn't picture them meeting any other way in a believable sense, and I'm just so happy that it worked out as well as it did. I wanted the softness, and the slight awkwardness, all while providing some soft touches and slightly teasing communication to make it memorable. They're two very different people, sharing an unusual situation that begins to shed light on a deeper connection. Wolffe is all about his buisness, and to an extent so is Pup. They work for the benefit of others, and when they meet each other, it's the first time they're presented with the opportunity to take time and do something for themselves. Love is just as much a personal decision as it is to be shared. Therefore, giving them this quiet introduction is a wonderful state of weakness and mutual amusement for that to be initially explored.

***

Thank you for requesting anon! 🤍 I hope this was to your liking! I could go on..😅 But I didn't want to overwhelm you with it. *cue my nervous laughter*

#welcome company #commander wolffe #pup #uponrightful #uponrightfulwrites #commentary track

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idjitlili · 4 years

Text

I see stars

summary:

Imagine getting drunk at the feast of starlight , and becoming over happy,and dancing like the complete opposite to what elves are used to. Leasts just say Thranduil is more than impressed.

translations:

rukhs shirumund caragu=beardless orc dung

warnings:two boners

wordcount:2356

After the dwarves and you were taken prisoner,Thranduil had kept you with him once he sent Thorin to the cells for refusing his offer. Before he was even able to begin to talk to you the dwarves had escaped,theu had left a note which the guards handed to Thranduil ,who read it before passing it to you. His face was unreadable you didnt know what to expect,as the scrap paper was upon your hands. The rushed note had read:

"Our friend from strange lands,

your journey ends here, come vist us in erebor once it IS safe,not now,we cannot afford to lose anymore family.

much love,

ps Thorin says if you get the chance near that rukhs shirumund caragu lowers,bite it off."

Your face lit up with embarrassment,knowing Thranduil had known what Thorin was implying for you to do,it was a good idea,but hiding a knife in your vagina and then chopping it off with that. That seemed like a better idea,what if you had his coxk in your mouth,and you bite it off and then you choke to death on it,it happened to dean winchester just with a sausage. You looked up to the king ,you was watching you intensely. "Thank you." you had spoke quietly,folding the note placing it in your front pocket of your jeans.

Yes you were still wearing your clothes from home,you had cleaned them last at a stream,but when you had first joined the company ,they had given you spar tunics , blankets and such. You had known them since you fell froma portal ,four feet from the ground infront of the company. They had grew to think very fondely of you ,and protected you from all danger.Now you felt very insecure with out them around ,especially when this king seemed very scary.

"what for?" Thranduil had questioned you circling ,your body ,you had crossed your arms and faced the floor. "for allowing me to have that note from my friends." he had stopped circling to look at you ,he liked you not like that at least not yet,you were being held captive yet you were treating him with kindness.

He hadnt kept you in a cell,infact he given you a room,it was locked at night and such incase you tried to kill him. In a few days you had warmed up to the king,but now erebor was reclaimed and he qould be going to reclaim his jems. You had practially begged him to take you with,so you could see your friends. He didnt like the idea,but then you started crying,you enjoyed the kings comapny when you would eat with him and such ,but you couldnt not go especially if you could prevent somes death. In the end he had agreed and sat you infront of him on his elk,you were excited to see your friends ,you just hoped Thranduil wouldnt kill them. You had been shy with Thranduil at first ,but you soon found out he was very nice,and you came out of your shell.

That led you to be literally bouncing on the elk once you had arrived infront of erebor ,with Thranduil having to have his arm around your waist,which led you to be very close to each other. He had to tell you to stop,as nice as he could,you hadnt realised you had caused the king a little problem.Which luckily his outfit hid,he didnt tell you that was why,he had just stated someobe might aim for him and then hit you with an arrow. Bouncing looked like yeah. You had spotted Thorin whos gaze lingled on you ,he thought Thranduil was using you so they wouldnt try kill him.

However you smiled widely up at Thorin. " Thorin! Your crown looks very lovely on you!" you had shouted up at the king ,who sffered from dragon sickness,his mouth twitched slightly before turning back into a frown. "You are fooling around with an elf?and an elf thats him?" he had scoffed in disgust at you,your face fell. "no,thorin." you had been hurt at his words,thranduil had tighted his grip on you waist,protectively.

Once you had found out that Thorin and his best fighters had been led into a trapped ,you had forced Thranduil, totake you there and help save them. In which had surprisingly did,you also may have used your sons also heading there ,what if he gets hurt and you couldve saved him. You ended up jumping on azog's back ,legs around his waist stabbing him in the back with daggers,so thorin could go for the kill;you literally looked like drax. Now your life was complete ,you looked awesome,you had also saved fili and kili. Darn Fili deserves more screentime. Azog had flipped you over his shoulders ,slamming you into the ice,strangling you with one hand and blade in another sending a slice up your arm, You had just became loki ,being slammed by hulk,and now you needed stitches. "I...c-can...see..y-your cock." you had to try to speak,face red,unable to breathe.giving Thorin the chance to end his life.

Thorin pushed azogs body away from you,pulling you into his arms. "you are very much crazy ,y/n and for that I will be forever in debt to you as you saved my family and I" he spoke stroking your hair, as you gained your breath back,your neck was definitely was going to be bruised. "I ...r-repaid..my debt for keeping me safe in this strange world all those month,plus i got to see that majestic hair everyday." you reached your hand up,to his hair,running your fingers through it, "i am really sorry for saying what i did earlier, I do not want you getting hurt that was all." he spoke sincerely to you. "dont worry little man,no one has taken my innocence." you smirked in which Thorin smiled at you in relief before carrying you bridal style to erebor to find oin,trying to avoid hurting your bleeding upper arm.

That was until Thranduil stopped him on his elk,his eyes wondering over your injured form,you smiled at the king. Thranduil knew he had to take you home with him,he had felt things he had never felt before ,even with his now dead wife. "let me take her back with me,to the woodland relm,we have the finest doctors." he had spoken sternly,Thorin had scoffed in response. "oin is the best in erebor!" he had growled,he didnt want you with an elf at all. "more like the only one." Thranduil had annoyed Thorin with this,his stomach bubbled with anger. "Thorin, its fine I have to go back anyways ,I left belongings there." you tried to convince the dwarven king,however he was stubborn,so it would take more than that. "i will buy and have you made new belongings." he really didnt want you to go,he felt like it was his duty to protect you,he thought of you as a daughter almost.

"Thorin , I will come back,and if not straight away, I will write." you had jumped down from Thorins arms ,before hugging him tightly,and pulling away. Your eyes watered ,as you looked at back at Thorin who's did the same ,as Thranduil lifted you up onto his elk infront of him.

Also you forgot to mention,Tauriel fell off a cliff , rip. Legolas was going away for a while,but promised his father he would try to visit on the feast of starlight. Thranduil had comforted you saying Thorin was safe ,there wasnt any huge chances that something could happen to him while you were gone,you would be able to see him again. Anyways that was many months ago and you wrote to the dwarves and bilbo often,Thranduil would even get elves with drawing talents to draw you so you could send them back for Thorin and Bilbo. Bilbo had requested it. But tonight was the feast of starlight,Thranduil had you a dress made ,and fitted , it was mint green,come to think of it looked exactly like Arwen's dress in return of the time. Maybe you become friends with her tonight ,and gift it too her in the future as she loved it so much. wink wink. Thranduil had personally came to chambers,and walked with you to the feast. Yeah so you had been staying in the woodland relm way longer than you had thought you would have been staying.

Thrandul had sat on the end of the table ,while you sat at the side of the table next to him,there was many high elves at the table such as celeborn,Elrond,Lady Galadriel,and many others,you could barely remember any of there names. However there had been wine,you were barely an adult ,let they kept topping up your glass ,no one told you how strong elvish wine was. You were tipsy very quickly,you didnt make much conversation with anyone as you very nervous of saying something innappropriate. Soon as you all had entered the hall ,the music filled your ears it was quiet boring music. So you just lingled around Thranduil , drinking wine ,which was everywhere ,soon you were very loose ,and very close to Thranduil. Basically jumping around him, that was until a slightlly up beat song started playing. "Thranduil I am going to go danceeeeee." you had spoke excitely ,gripping the kings arm he had simply nodded.

You had skipped off to the dance floor,letting out a "wooooooo" hitting your fist in the air,Thranduil watched you as you tucked a part of your dress into your short legging shorts,he had gasped at your action as your whole thigh was revealed. You began dancing like you were doing just dance to umbrella,singing the lyrics,pointing to Thranduil ,gesturing him to join he shook his head,you shrug at him. You had learnt this not only because of tom holland but as a child you loved just dance and memorized the movements.

"you have my heart

And we'll never be worlds apart

Maybe in magazines

But you'll still be my star

Baby, 'cause in the dark

You can't see shiny cars

And that's when you need me there

With you, I'll always share"

you had began,as the elves had changed the music to suit the music , you smirked at heart you had gestured to Thranduil,who's face was a beet,he couldnt deny he liked it.

"When the sun shine, we shine together

Told you I'll be here forever

Said I'll always be your friend

Took an oath, I'ma stick it out to the end

Now that it's raining more than ever

Know that we'll still have each other

You can stand under my umbrella

You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh

Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh

Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh"

you gestured under your dress before ,winking at Thranduil,before pulling the dress off swiftly,causing the elves to gasp ,leaving you in a tight black corset from Thorin and black shorts,you threw the dress at Arwen mouthing keep it.These fancy things

"Will never come in between

You're part of my entity

Here for infinity

When the war has took its part

When the world has dealt its cards

If the hand is hard

Together we'll mend your heart."

You strut over Thorin ,high and might ,getting very close ,before turing and dropping your ass slightly grazes him ,before flicking a leg out then bring it back in and doing the same with the other. Before standing up quickly,facing him wipping the back of your hands down his face before going back the dance floor.

"When the sun shine, we shine together

Told you I'll be here forever

Said I'll always be your friend

Took an oath, I'ma stick it out to the end

Now that it's raining more than ever

Know that we'll still have each other

You can stand under my umbrella

You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh

Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh

Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh"

Thranduil stares at you,licking his lips at your performance,he was deeply attracted to you there was no doubt about that. You skin glittering in the light as it reflected onto your sweat,

"It's rainin', rainin'

Ooh, baby, it's rainin', rainin'

Baby, come here to me

Come into me

It's rainin', rainin'

Ooh, baby, it's rainin', rainin'"

you finished off ,voice hurting slightly,before grabbing a glass of wine chugging it,bow at the elves that claped for you, smiled brightly,they hadnt seen anything like that ever. You didnt get to anything else before Thranduil practically run at you. You had revealed you love Thranduil ,in your song, He cupped your cheeks gently with his large hands before he pressed his soft lips against yours ,the elves around you clap around you,as you both kiss passionately.

"will you marry me,y/n?" he spoke once you both pulled away,you nod eagarly before pressing your lips to his quickly,you bow once more before pulling out of the hall,he thanks everyone for coming as you walk out.

lets just say you dont bite his cock off,you went to visit Thorin with Thranduil the next day , they put aside their differences for you ,as Thranduil tells them about your stunt ,not about the boner he hid when you slut dropped infront of him.

#the hobbit imagine #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit x you #thranduil imagine #thranduil x reader #thranduil x y/n #thranduil #the hobbit imagines

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colour-outside-the-liness · 3 years

Note

Hey, I'm doing good too. Just normal amounts of stressful stuff right now. Just moved to a country I've never been to before but can't complain, things are not as hard as the last time I did this so. Thanks for asking! Yeah, I saw you posting about some pretty scary health issues before, I'm glad you came out of that alive and hope you're healthier now!

The nerve some people have! Haha I know I would be pissed if people were questioning my intelligence like that especially after a couple of drinks in haha. Though I do like taunting people when I play group games, I'll be like "don't need to try that hard guys, you're gonna lose anyway" just to mess with them or just call people sore losers if they accuse me of cheating haha (they're probably right on the accusations tho). People get real mad sometimes it's kinda funny. 😂

Omg literally laughed out loud reading this! Hahaha, how did you manage to fall over a road sign then end up in a ditch? lol omg hope you didn't get hurt too bad 😂 I was trying to downplay my drunken escapades but since you shared yours I should tell you my worst one:

I was at this summer street party at night and got drunk on something made out of tropical herbs and cachaça (which is about 48% alcohol), drank 3 and a half bottles of that like it was apple juice, made friends with a bunch of strangers in a bathroom queue (who tried to talk to me weeks later but I had no idea who they were), had to be held by my best friend while I peed (mostly missing the toilet), fell in the middle of the street and scraped my knee, threatened this boy who was helping me walk and told him not to try anything funny or I would beat him up, then dragged my friends to the beach and left them shortly after to go make out with my ex, came back with lipstick all over my mouth and chin and when my friends asked what I was doing I said I was just talking to my ex and they were like NO YOU WERE NOT, hahaha then I kissed all my girl friends on a dare and we danced under the full moon, then I told my best friend I had to puke so she took me to the ocean but I changed my mind and happened to step on a dead turtle on the way back and started crying bc of it, but last month my best friend told me it was a rock I had stepped on (I believed it was a dead turtle for 7 years!). Had the worst hangover of my life the next day. ✌️✨

Ah I'm happy you liked it! I've never listened to Six musical before but it sounds fun! I can see why you like it haha made me want to dance around my apartment 💃. And hey if liking musicals is your thing then it's great, I'm sure Hozier will understand if he's not your top artist of the year. 😋 Here's my "damie" Pinterest board if you or anyone else wants to check it out, totally recommend making one if you're a visual person like me!

https://pin.it/UcHVlkq

Oh I could talk about Dani and Jamie forever I think. I love the beast in the jungle speech too and it's so painful to watch, VP delivered that beautifully, but I have to admit I'm always a crying mess from episode 1 when older Jamie starts reciting that song about being sad while waiting for her lover to return, this show is fucking cruel I hate it and love it at the same time hahaha. Omg your mom 😂 but I mean it's truly an honor to be compared to someone like Dani, no? She's really great even if she needs a little help haha (don't we all).

Aaah you're amazing! Thank you so much, I'll read this pirate AU soon!

I used to draw a lot, really loved doing it when I was a kid as I said before, and all throughout adulthood too but I haven't done that in almost a year now bc I've got a bit of a case of burnout I guess, it just takes a lot of effort to do it when it shouldn't be like that at all. I used to do fanart too, for other fandoms. Even made one for Dani x Jamie but ended up not liking how it turned out haha. I've got a lot of respect for writers and fanfic writers also! Yall can make words make sense in really interesting and beautiful ways, build worlds so enthralling I can see them vividly in my head. Writing is such an incredibly fascinating skill to have! And I guess the most important thing is that we enjoy doing these things right? Even if we think we're not particularly good at it.

Anyway, have a lovely weekend! 👋✨

Good I'm glad you're doing great but sorry you're dealing with stressful stuff!! Hope living in a new country goes well for you I'm so jealous that you've lived in different countries I'd love to live somewhere else even if just for s few years!! Awwh thank you so much I definitely came out of it alive and am feeling so much better now thank you I mean I do some pretty ditzy things so when people say it to me it's pretty deserved sometimes, I'm secretly smart and people just don't expect it so I never mind too much haha I might have to start saying the things that you do and just taunting them over it I mean, I usually do win even when they make me answer different questions so I will definitely have to start saying things like that to them Haha I love that you're just like "yeah they're probably right in their accusations" I agree seeing how mad some people get over games and stuff is funny (it's me I'm people I hate loosing games depending on what it is and I am very competitive) So it was very dark and all we had for light was my roommates flashlight on her phone but while we were walking home a friend of ours that lived else where kept texting her to make sure we were still safe (my phone as dead at this point) so while she was texting him her flashlight was facing down and someone had moved this road sign to the footpath and it was on that sits on the floor so while I couldn't see it I walked into it and fell over it but while I feel I grabbed hold of it and flipped with it and fell in a ditch with it on top of me... I was fine and was just laid laughing while my friend looked down at me and in the most northern accent ever just said "get up you dickhead." and helped me off of the floor and then asked if I was okay... and I was so it was all good!! Haha 😂 I love this drunken story that sounds like one hell of a night and is a roller coaster from start to finish!! I'm sorry you thought you had stood on a dead turtle for 7 years though, someone really should've told you that it was just a rock!! But that sounds like my kind of night!! I love nights like that... stories that will last a life time... the only down side is the hangover... luckily I have only ever had one hang over in my life and it wasn't the morning after the road sign fiasco... I felt surprisingly good the morning after that haha 😂 It's such a good musical it's about Henry VIII wives and I just love everything to do with his wives and that musical is so much fun and actually gives a little insight to the lives the six Tudor queens had away from Henry and with him because at school we're mainly just taught about him which sucks!! I loved the Hozier song and am definitely gonna have to listen to more of his stuff!! I love musicals so much I mainly listen to musical soundtracks at the minute- usually, Legally Blonde and Six on repeat haha 😂 Ooo thank you I will definitely check out this Pinterest board thanks for sending it to me!! I could talk about them forever too... since watching Bly Manor my niece has been asking me so many questions about it and I am more than happy to talk to her about it haha!! The beast in the jungle speech just breaks my heart every time I relate to it so much and VP just delivers it so beautifully!! Oh yeah now I know at the beginning that it's older Jamie I am just a wreck the whole show is just so beautiful and heart breaking at the same time I LOVE IT!! Even though it makes me sob- I keep putting myself through it!! I mean, yeah I was happy that she said it Dani is great but it was the way she said it... my mum can be something else sometimes... she said she thought Dani was like me the first time she does the accent when she says "I've fallen quite in love with London" because I just randomly do accents a lot too but it was the way she was like "She needs help... but I like her she reminds me of you" I was just like... "Should I go get help?" I still don't know the answer to my question about if I need help or not but I mean I probably do need it You're welcome I really hope you like it!! It's a

great fic I love it!! Yeah I get that if stuff starts taking too much effort and burns you out you're not gonna wanna keep doing it so it's understandable that you stopped!! I think fan art is great and I really would love to be able to do it myself but I just don't have the skill it takes!! Awwh it's a shame you didn't like the Dani x Jamie one you did I would've loved to have seen it!! Honestly there are so many talented writers out there and when I read their fics I am just in awe of the worlds they have built and the stories they have created we are so blessed in this fandom to have so many amazing writers and so many amazing fics out there Oh yeah definitely its important to enjoy what you do!! I know I love writing and love writing fics for Dani and Jamie so I think I'll be doing it for a while even if I'm not great at it haha Awwh thank you very much I hope you have a great weekend too!! ☺️

#lib3rtin33

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imaginingsoftly · 4 years

Text

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time Pt. 10 - Morgan Rielly

Type: roommates to lovers, Y/N insert shorts

Requested: No

Warnings: arguing, minor meltdown, swearing, angst

(Y/N = Your name, time jumps marked with a line)

A/N: Fair warning, this gets angsty for a hot second. Also, there’s a little bit of Greek in here, but nothing that you’ll need to translate. It’s a couple of food things, a phrase, and some names, all of which are explained in-text. I have some Greek in my family, so thankfully I was able to draw off of personal experience for this.

Another win, another party. The boys were on a win streak, and had decided to celebrate every win like it could be their last. Kat and Andrei were drunkenly dancing on each other, and Y/N smiled at the way Andrei stared down at Kat. They really did make for a cute couple. Dougie was dancing next to them, some random brunette shimmying awkwardly in front of him. Morgan was standing at the bar joking with Tom, the bartender. Tom was probably talking about the game, she knew he watched all of them in between pouring drinks. “So is everything still good with you and Mo, Y/N?” She looked back at the boys sitting across from her, and smiled.

“Never better. It just works, you know?” Marty and Brock rolled their eyes, and Marty reached out to punch Y/N’s shoulder. “Stop being so corny and tell us if he does anything embarrassing,” Brock yelled over the music, “You’re our inside source for all things Mo, Y/N, so talk!” Y/N laughed, and Morgan grinned as he slid in next to her, sliding a beer over to both of the boys sitting across from him. “Go away, Mo, we were interrogating Y/N.” Marty saluted Y/N with his bottle as he spoke, and she lifted hers back at him.

Morgan slid an arm around her shoulders. “He snores,” Y/N said quickly, “and he’s a shit cook. I taught him how to flip a pancake.” Marty snorted as Morgan leaned back to look at her, betrayed, but Brock’s face made everyone laugh seconds later. “You don’t know how to flip a pancake either, Ginner, do you?” Brock’s ears turned red at her teasing, and Y/N and Marty high-fived.

The four settled into an easy conversation, most of it surrounding the various basic living skills the boys had never bothered to learn, and somehow Y/N found herself promising to teach Ginner and Marty some of her cooking secrets. The drinks flowed as much as the conversation, and Y/N found herself leaning more and more heavily into Morgan as the night wore on. She was blessed with a naturally high alcohol tolerance, but she still didn’t drink often and the guys had a foot and hundred pounds on her. Andrei and Kat finally made their way over to everyone, and Kat pulled Y/N away for a “bathroom visit.”

“So, Y/N spill!” Kat reapplied her lipstick in the semi-darkness of the bar’s bathroom while Y/N leaned on the edge of the sink. Actually, leaning on the sink was probably a bad idea. God knows what had been in it. “It’s been almost two months and you’ve given me nothing about your dating life.” Not that it was Y/N’s fault they hadn’t gotten together. Kat was the busy one, and Andrei took up almost all of her free time.

Now Y/N would ever say that out loud, but still. “It’s good. I mean honestly not that much has changed, except we swap spit sometimes.” Kat snorted out a laugh and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “and other bodily fluids.” Which, really, she wasn’t wrong. About half of the apartment had been christened thanks to Morgan’s sex drive, and Y/N found herself in much better shape than she had been before they started dating. “He’s been good for me, Kat. And for my anxiety. I’ve been falling asleep a lot easier, and I haven’t felt like chest pains were killing me in almost a month.” That was probably the most remarkable part of the entire thing; the anxiety and insomnia had been a normal part of Y/N’s life since she was in college, and suddenly a stable relationship and someone to really talk to was lessening her episodes. It had happened before, in the one other real relationship she’d had, but not to this extent.

Kat put her lipstick away, finally satisfied that it looked okay. “I’m happy for you, Y/N,” she said, touching Y/N’s hand. “He’s a good guy. You deserve someone like him.” The two smiled at each other, and Kat slung an arm over her friend’s shoulders. “Let’s go give those boys hell before they have to go back to taking life seriously, yeah?”

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The week leading up to the playoffs was a lot. Morgan was filled with a sort of manic energy that was hard to be around sometimes, and Y/N could tell it was because of years of first-round disappointments. He was readying himself to be disappointed again. She kept him busy as much as possible, coming up with reasons to send him to the store or to clean things around the house, but even that was becoming a little tiresome. There was only so many times he could run the vacuum cleaner through the apartment before Mrs. Dagny downstairs complained.

They were eating dinner together three days before game one when Morgan stood suddenly. “I have something for you,” he announced, and Y/N was left to sit confusedly at the eating bar. He returned from his room holding something behind his back. “So I know you know about all the traditions in hockey, down to the smallest ones, and this year you’re a piece of one that means a lot to NHL families.” Morgan pulled a jacket from behind his back, and Y/N dropped her fork in surprise. WAG jackets were a big deal, and she hadn’t planned on getting one unless Morgan or one of the girls brought it up. No one had, and she’d just brushed it off. The jacket was beautiful, black and slightly worn, like someone had roughed it up a little bit to soften the denim. The alternate logo sat front and center, the hurricane warning flags spanning most of the back. Morgan’s number spread across the shoulders, and his name sat on the popped collar. She laughed at the Red Sox logo on one shoulder, and smiled softly at the Canadian leaf sitting on the other. Their two homes, combined. The only question was how he had arranged all of this.

Y/N met Morgan’s eyes to silently ask, and he grinned. “I asked Kat to set it up for you. I figured it’d be a fun surprise.” He held it out to her. “Try it on.” She stood hurriedly, and Morgan helped her slide the jacket over her shoulders. It fit perfectly, and Y/N silently thanked Kat for accommodating the wideness of her shoulders. “Perfect,” Morgan said, spinning her around. “My number looks good on you, sweetheart.” Y/N laughed. “Thank you,” she whispered. Morgan pulled Y/N into a hug and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Thanks for sticking with me this whole season, Red Sox. I know it must’ve been hard sometimes.”

“Only sometimes,” she joked. They settled back into dinner, though Y/N left the jacket on. Everything felt too surreal to take it off. “So are you ready for game one? Boston was looking scary as the season ended.” It was like Morgan could never escape the Bruins; they had been the top team in the East for yet another year, and the Hurricanes were meeting them as the wildcard. Y/N could see the strain that was setting in, and the pressure Morgan was surely putting on himself.

Morgan sighed, looking at the wall in front of him. “In a way, I’m glad it’s Boston. It might be nice to exorcise those demons, you know?” Y/N nodded. “At the same time, it’s like really? Boston again?” He rubbed his face tiredly, and Y/N reached over to grab his plate. “C’mon,” she said, “we’re going to get a couple of small bowls of ice cream and watch some baseball. I’ll even turn on the Blue Jays game for you.” Morgan nodded. Y/N headed into the kitchen to take care of their bowls, and he dragged his feet over to the couch. Y/N stopped to watch him as he walked, noticing the exhaustion behind his steps. The last couple of weeks of the season had been tough on him, and it was showing. Their win streak in early March had been the only thing keeping them in the playoffs, and they’d exited the regular season barely limping into the wildcard. Losing Tuevo at the end of that win streak had shown exactly how flawed their forwards were. If there was any consolation, Boston was the same way.

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To say the season ended badly would be an understatement. Game seven, and they didn’t have a chance from the start. Boston came out swinging, literally, scoring two goals and inciting a near-brawl in the first ten minutes of the game. The boys recovered, briefly, when Kase was ejected from the game for a bad hit on Sebastian, but Boston came back with a vengeance in the second. A final score of 7-3, and the boys were done and Boston was headed to Toronto. Morgan was red in the face when he came out of the locker room, having shouldered most of the blame for the way the back end played. The press was hard on him, especially since Toronto was moving on to the second round in the first year since he’d been traded, and Y/N could tell their questions had gotten to him.

He stormed past her in the hallway, and Y/N had trouble meeting Ky’s sympathetic face with a smile and a nod. “I’ll see you soon.” She handed Emmy back to Jaccob, and took off after Morgan. “Morgan,” she called, hurrying towards the parking lot, “Mo, hang on!” He didn’t even slow down, and she was almost surprised he waited for her to climb into the passenger's seat before he sped out of the lot. His face was harder than stone, and she watched his jaw muscles ripple as he ground his teeth. Morgan was driving faster than usual, slamming on the brakes a little harder than necessary. Y/N didn’t know what to say, so she sat in silence. He was never like this. A frown sure, being a little too hard on himself definitely, but never this angry. She only spoke when they turned onto the street their apartment was on. “I know you don’t want to hear it right now, but I’m proud of you. It wasn’t the outcome I know you wanted, but you were good. The bounces didn’t go your way tonight.”

Morgan choked out a laugh as he pulled into the parking space next to her Jeep. “I sucked, Y/N. Don’t try to make excuses for me. It’s never good enough.” He barely put the car in park before he was jumping out, slamming the driver’s side door in the process. Y/N jumped out as well, knowing he would leave her behind if she didn’t. Morgan wasn’t waiting for her tonight, and his height advantage was all-too evident as he took off up the stairs faster than she could keep up. She knew he was exhausted, so this was anger fueling him.

Y/N caught up with him at the door to the apartment, where he was angrily shoving his keys into the lock. It wasn’t turning, and he punched the door in frustration. This was a side of him she didn’t even know existed. “Morgan, stop!” She shoved past him, grabbing the keys out of his hand. “I’ve got it. Just stop, please.” Y/N barely made it out of the way before Morgan was barreling inside the apartment, and she hurriedly followed behind him, stopping when they were in the living room. “Morgan.” She said his name quietly, but he paused. “I understand your anger, and I think it’s justified. Just please,” she begged, “don’t take it out on me. I love you, Mo, and I wanted to see you succeed.” A few tears she hadn’t realized were building up dropped down her cheeks. “I’m sorry that you didn’t get the series win tonight, and I’m sorry it was Boston again. I wish it had gone differently this time.” She wiped the tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand, and Morgan’s face hardened as he looked at her.

“Stop pretending to be upset!” Morgan was red in the face, and Y/N could barely recognize the person she loved behind the anger. “You don’t know how this feels, and you don’t even care about the team!” He threw his arms out wildly, and she saw Bogey run for her bedroom when Morgan’s hand came dangerously close to his perch on the couch. “You’re a Boston fan, for fucks sake! Go out and celebrate, just stop fucking pretending you give a shit about if we win or not!” Morgan’s chest was heaving with how heavily he was breathing, and Y/N was frozen from where she stood by the window. He really thought she didn’t care about him? Didn’t care if the team won or lost?

Y/N felt another tear slip down her cheek, though she wiped it away as quickly as it fell. Morgan’s face shifted slightly, like he was just realizing what he’d said. Y/N ducked her head before any more tears fell. “Y/N, I,” she shook her head, pushing past Morgan and towards the door again. “Y/N! Red Sox, come on, I didn’t mean it.” Sure he didn’t.

“Angry words are usually pretty truthful, Morgan, so I think you did.” His face was helpless as he reached out to her, and Y/N put her hand on the doorknob. “I need to cool off for a while. I think you do too.” She left before Morgan could respond, and especially before he could convince her to come back.

She was halfway down the stairwell before footsteps sounded above her. How in the hell could he possibly think she was happy he’d lost? She knew those boys; they mattered to her now, it wasn’t like they were some faceless team. She cared about him, for fucks sake. Morgan caught up with her as she reached the street. He breathlessly called for her to stop, and Y/N’s feet slowed for a step before she steeled herself and kept walking. “I need to cool off Morgan, I’ll be back.” His footsteps continued behind her, and his hand caught her arm under the elbow.

“Y/N please. I shouldn’t have said that.” She finally slowed, turning to face Morgan. His eyes scanned her face desperately. “I know you care. I know you wanted us to win.” She wasn’t ready to forgive him yet, and the eyebrow she cocked told him enough. Morgan let go of her arm to rub his face, and she could see exactly how exhausted he was. “Go, Morgan,” she said a little more gently. “I’ll be back. I promise.” Y/N reached out to squeeze his arm reassuringly before beginning to walk again. Morgan paused for a second and then followed.

He walked silently alongside Y/N until they were past the apartment complex. “I just want to know that you’re okay. I know you take these walks when I’m not around, but I’d prefer you not walk the city alone this late.” Y/N could feel him staring at her as she looked forward, and it took everything she had not to meet his eyes. “I won’t talk if that’s what you want, and I’ll even walk separate from you if necessary, but I just want to make sure you stay safe.” Well damn. When he put it that way she couldn��t refuse. She nodded shortly, and Morgan let out a breath that she hadn’t noticed he was holding.

They walked in silence through the city, and Y/N finally felt herself cool off. Morgan had a temper, she knew that, though she didn’t know it went that deeply. It didn’t excuse what he’d said, not by a long shot, but his apology was sincere. They finally reached the spot she was seeking out, a small nighttime Greek restaurant ten blocks from their building, and Y/N felt Morgan look at her questioningly as she stepped through the door. The smell of oregano and garlic hit Y/N almost as quickly as the sound of the traditional music, and she shouted out a greeting as she pulled Morgan along with her. “Ti kanete, yiayia!” The older woman behind the counter looked up as Y/N spoke, and she began to hurry out from behind the counter when she recognized her. “Ah, koúkla,” she called out excitedly, “you finally came for another visit?” Y/N melted into the older woman’s hug. Her hug was more comforting than even Morgan’s, the kind of hug only a grandmother-type could give.

Y/N pulled back, and the older woman drew her hands back to Y/N’s shoulders. “You too skinny, koúkla, too skinny.” She let go of Y/N’s shoulders to pat her cheeks gently, and Y/N gavet the first smile she’d had since the game started. “Eat. I’ll bring keftedes and loukoumades.” Y/N nodded, and looked back at Morgan as the woman hurried away, shouting at her husband to get the food going. He was standing there slightly shell-shocked, and the last of Y/N’s immediate anger dissipated with the look on his face. She took pity on him, grabbing his hand to pull him towards a table. Morgan reacted instantly, adjusting his hand to hold hers properly. As they sat, Y/N took a moment to drink in the atmosphere.

It felt homey, and smelled familiar. She had grown up on Greek foods, her mother half Greek, and the Greek thrown between Erriéta and Matthaíos was as familiar as Saturday breakfasts at her grandparent’s house. Even the furniture was familiar, plastic on the brown booth chairs and all. Morgan was still looking around confusedly, and Y/N took pity on him. “They’re Greek. Harriet and Matthew are insomniacs, like me, so they opened this place when they immigrated here. It’s the only restaurant not attached to a bar or fast food that you can find after 1am.” She smiled over at the kitchen, where Matthaíos was throwing dough balls into the air and catching them as Erriéta scolded him. “In Greek, their names are Erriéta and Matthaíos, but they mostly go by the English translations now. It’s a little easier.” Morgan smiled gently at her, and she continued before she let him suck her back in too quickly. “I came in here one night after a particularly bad day last year. I called out a hello in Greek, though it was the wrong one.” Y/N laughed at the memory. “‘Ti kanete’ is the informal way to say hello, not what you say to strangers.”

“Harriet kind of adopted me after that. It’s why I call her yiayia. It’s the Greek word for grandmother. She has a habit of adopting strays.” Erriéta appeared then as if she had been called, sliding large plates of keftedes and loukoumades between Y/N and Morgan. “Eat,” she said emphatically, “too skinny. You too, boy,” she directed at Morgan, “you too skinny too.” Morgan stared up at the woman mildly alarmed, and Y/N smothered a chuckle. “Thank you, yiayia,” she said sincerely. Erriéta patted her hand gently and swept off again, yelling at Matthaíos in their native language again.

Morgan looked mildly shell-shocked, even as Y/N pulled a plate from the stack at the end of the table and piled it high with food. “The food is good,” Y/N told him. “Eat.” Morgan still looked at the food skeptically, and she rolled her eyes. “It’s turkey meatballs and doughnuts in a nutty syrup. I promise it’s all delicious.” She dug into her own plate as she spoke, shoving an entire doughnut in her mouth. It had been a while since the last time she’d eaten the loukoumades, and it took every bit of self control Y/N had not to take the entire plate just for herself. She smiled when Morgan took a bite of meatball, immediately making a face of surprise and shoving the entire thing in his mouth. “Good, yeah?” Morgan nodded emphatically, and Y/N laughed at the way his cheeks bulged.

They ate together in semi-silence, only talking for more napkins or to argue over who would pay the bill when Erriéta brought it by. They did meet gazes every so often, and Morgan’s gentle but exhausted smile melted the last of her anger away. “I love you too.” Morgan’s words startled Y/N out of thoughts of more loukoumades, and she cocked her head in confusion. “You said it earlier,” he clarified, “and I yelled at you. You didn’t deserve to have my frustration taken out of you.” Morgan sighed, leaning back in his chair. “They wouldn’t stop asking me about Toronto. I can’t help but feel like I was the reason they kept losing all those years, and it sucks.” Oh. Oh.

“Morgan, no. It’s not your fault. They finally went out and got those pieces you guys needed to succeed all those other years. You can’t blame yourself for the front office screwing up.” Y/N reached out and gripped one of Morgan’s hands. “A few overpaid forwards and two good defensemen aren’t going to win you a cup. If the front office had smartened up when you were there, maybe you guys would have made it further. But sweetheart, it’s not your fault.”

Morgan nodded slowly, and Y/N could actually see him realize she was right. He squeezed her hand back, leaning forward again with a sigh. “What would I do without you?” Y/N smiled and shook her head in response. “Let’s go home.” Morgan stood as he spoke, pulling Y/N with him. Erriéta and Matthaíos came over to hug Y/N, and then Erriéta even hugged Morgan.

“Take care of her, boy, yes?” Morgan nodded solemnly at Erriéta’s request, and Y/N hugged the older woman again. She pressed a box of what Y/N could only assume was more loukoumades into her hands, and winked. “For later. You too skinny.” Y/N laughed and nodded.

The walk back to their apartment was much more lighthearted than when they’d left, and Morgan tucked Y/N into his side with a sigh. “Can we cuddle when we get back?” Y/N took a breath to respond, but Morgan hurriedly spoke again. “I understand if you’re still mad, but I wanted you to know that the option is there.” Y/N let out a breathy laugh, though she didn’t respond immediately. Was she still mad at him? She had been hurt at the time, and maybe still was, but honestly it didn’t seem like Morgan meant what he said. It was more like he’d wanted someone else to be as upset as he was. They both needed a hug and a good night's sleep.

“Yeah, Morgan, I think we both need that tonight.” Morgan squeezed Y/N’s shoulder as they came upon their building, and he held onto her as they climbed all seven flights of stairs. Bogey was sleeping on the couch again as they entered the apartment, and Morgan scooped him up gently. Bogey protested with a tiny meow, and Y/N pressed a kiss to the cat’s head. “He doesn’t like it when you pick him up while he's trying to sleep, you know.”

Morgan followed Y/N into her bedroom, depositing Bogey on the gray comforter. “I just wanted to cuddle with both of you. Plus, he loves my hugs.” Y/N let out a laugh, and she was still laughing as they settled into the bed. Morgan pulled her close, sliding an arm under her head and another across her lower ribcage. “I love you, Y/N. And I am so grateful that you let me hold you every night.” Y/N settled deeper into his chest, and Morgan pressed a kiss to her neck. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

#nhl imagines #nhl imagine #morgan rielly imagine #good idea ML

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i-just-love-spop · 4 years

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8, 40, 48 and 78 for Scorfuma kids, please? :D sorry if it's too much tho :( (I love your oc's they're so cute 😔💖)

@leiazh Awww, thank you for loving my characters so much, that you do makes me so happy 😢💖

And it’s fine, always feel free to ask as many questions about them as you want, I had a lot of fun answering this one, so thank you! Just... be warned that the answer might take a while and also possibly be... really long 😅🤣

This whole thing is about 4.2k words long... whoops.

I answered the questions in order, the kids are sorted from oldest to youngest for each question (except for the twins who are the same age, nobody really knows who‘s older since they were born via c-section and their parents either didn’t ask or at least didn’t tell them [the kids don’t know which one of these is true], although Kohana does insist she’s the older twin).

I also didn’t include Frosta as a character in the ask for this one despite her being the oldest Scorfuma-kid, since she’s not my character and most of these questions wouldn’t have made much sense to answer for her anyway, since they get answered in the show, so it’s just the five kids that are actually my own characters.

Frosta does show up in some of the answers, though, obviously, along with Scorpia and Perfuma.

Also, please don’t take the way I sorted the “good” and “bad” traits too seriously – some of these would definitely be considered good or bad by most people, but other things like shyness aren’t really good or bad, they just can make your life more difficult in certain situations (which I say as a shy person) and I had to sort them into one of the categories somehow so I could include them at all.

I hope you have fun reading!

8. What are their good and bad traits?

Clover

Good traits

He tries to help his moms any way he can, both around the house and in the garden, and will do so without being asked to do it. He’s a very caring older brother that will gladly get up in the middle of the night if one of his younger siblings is upset and needs him, and he’ll also stay up late and read them to sleep when their moms are preoccupied. He’s really good at cooking and often does it for the whole family, and he’s also very creative and makes really beautiful flower arrangements. He rarely has any trouble focusing on what’s important, and he’s very enthusiastic about the things he loves, so much that it’s infectious.

Bad traits

He has trouble dealing with some of his insecurities and will lash out at others when he doesn’t know how else to handle them. He also worried about being a bother to other people when he’s upset and will often keep quiet about what’s making him sad or angry or scared rather than opening up about his emotions. He often comes off as cold to people that don’t know him very well because of this.

He also has a bit of an attitude around people he doesn’t like.

Thorn

Good traits

She always tries to take care of her friends and family and, if possible, keep them out of trouble, and she’d never say no if someone needs her help. For most people, it’s really hard to dislike her because she’s always friendly and polite and cares a lot about others, always tries to give the best advice she can and brings fresh food from the family garden everywhere. She’s really outgoing and has a relatively large friend group because of that.

Bad traits

She’s kind of naive, to a point where her desire to help others lands her in trouble every now and again because she ends up being exploited in one way or another – she doesn’t have a very good judge of character, and because of this, she has “friends” that just befriend her because she’s the crown princess, and she’s so excited to be making new friends that she doesn’t question their intentions very often, especially when she’s still a child.

It’s especially bad with a person she meets when she’s about ten, who she likes a lot, but who her parents are always kind of wary around – whenever that particular kid shows up around their house, things start disappearing, especially Thorn’s favorite toys.They eventually ask her about it, and she just says that her friend liked them so much that she gave them to the other kid, but the way she says it makes it pretty clear that she’s actually really unhappy about it and really misses her toys.

She’s actually kind of like Adora to a certain degree – she doesn’t take her own happiness into account that much and rather makes sure everyone else is happy first... but her family and her real friends always have her back and make sure she’s also having fun and feeling happy. Messing with her is not a very good idea, and if only for the relatively large Thorn-protect-squad.

Willow

Good traits

They’re really smart and pretty patient when it comes to learning new things, and they like trying out stuff they’ve never done before.

When it comes to their friends and loved ones, they show affection openly and often and even get pretty bubbly despite usually being so shy.

They’re also a really good listener and don’t back down when it comes to speaking up against someone who’s being mean to other people – they’re also extremely loyal. Their friend group isn’t huge, but if they befriend someone and that person makes them happy, they’ll go to the ends of the world for them, are extremely supportive of their goals and help them achieve them if they can.

Bad traits

They’re a... bit forgetful when it comes to certain stuff – especially things like watering plants, but also where they last put their things – including the tracker pad that’s literally in their hands when they start looking for it. They probably have the tidiest room in the entire house, and they still never freaking find anything.

They’re also really shy, so they don’t make friends very easily, and they also take criticism very personal despite not openly showing it a lot of times because they’re too embarrassed to – when someone tells them they think Willow is annoying or weird, they’re just going to keep quiet about it and then crawl into bed to cry when they get back home. They’re confident when it comes to protecting others, but they’re also really insecure when it comes to being criticized themselves.

If they’re genuinely hurt by someone, they can’t just laugh it off two days later... they take a long time to forgive others, especially if it’s people that know what they’re insecure about and still push their buttons anyway.

Aster

Good traits

He cares a lot about his family, and always knows how to cheer his siblings and especially his twin up when they’re upset. He’s also not afraid to make mistakes and doesn’t get very nervous about giving a wrong answer when he’s asked things because for him, wrong answers only mean that you learn new things you didn’t know before. If he’s good at something that his friends can’t do, he often offers to teach them and would never brag about it. He’s also really good at playing the drums.

Bad traits

He’s extremely chaotic and can also get pretty loud. He also likes fighting – sometimes it’s just friendly wrestling with his sister, and that’s fine, but they might end up breaking some stuff when they wrestle, and after he connects to the Heart Blossom, he often underestimates his powers or uses them accidentally, which results in both huge chaos and often at least smaller injuries. After he learns to control his powers better, the number of injuries decreases, but the chaos remains, especially when he and Kohana start deliberate making their powers a part of their friendly but heated competitions. They once tore half of Catradora’s living room apart on semi-accident – Finn was very excited. He’s also not good at listening when people tell him what to do – his parents sometimes get through to him, and Frosta often does, but most people out of his family don’t.

Kohana

Good traits

She’s open-minded, more likely to listen to others than her brother is, and she has a pretty healthy sense of humor. She’s also the best fighter out of all the kids – she’s been taking lessons from Frosta, Lonnie and Catra respectively since she was about ten. She’s courageous and creative and if she’s certain someone’s apology is sincere, she’s pretty forgiving, even to people who have hurt her in the past and maybe don’t deserve it. She’s also trustworthy – if you tell her a secret, she’s going to take it to her grave. She also always takes her time to pick out heartfelt birthday gifts for the people she loves because while she’s not that good with words, she still likes finding ways to make their day.

Bad traits

She’s really, really impatient and gets bored and frustrated easily – if she doesn’t manage to succeed at something during the first or at least second attempt, she just gives up frustratedly and goes on to punch something to let out her frustration. She also gets jealous really easily, especially if people learn the things she can’t do really quickly.

Like her twin brother, she’s really into fighting for fun, and she also doesn’t really learn how to pick her fights for a while. Since she’s connected to the Black Garnet rather than the Heart Blossom, she also causes destruction way more easily than Aster does. She’s also more scary than her brother if she wants to be – think chipped-Scorpia level scary.

40. If I wanted to draw them, what would be distinct physical features that I would have to know to draw them correctly?

Clover

He has yellow skin, short teal hair that’s a bit curly, pink eyes, cyan wings – the left one is torn slightly at about 3/4 of the wing which is why that one is harder to move for him – and regular elven ears that are his skin color yellow outside and a darker yellow inside.

He’s the shortest Scorfuma-child except for Frosta, about one head shorter than Willow.

Also technically not a physical feature, but he rarely ever wears formfitting clothes.

Thorn

I posted a princess maker pic of her a while back (along with pics of some of my other next gen kids), but most distinctive physical features would be: Short curly white hair (about chin-length) with flowers in it, a red scorpion tail – which is actually her only Scorpioni-trait –, dark brown eyes and Perfuma’s skin-tone.

As an adult, she’s actually the second tallest of the kids, about as tall as Scorpia.

She’s the one that’s based off of Rae’s Scorfuma-child.

Willow

I also posted a princess maker pic of them when I made their bullet point list, but most distinctive physical features would be:

They have dark skin and dark brown eyes, freckles, curly black hair that almost reaches their shoulders, and their Scorpioni parts are black rather than red like Scorpia’s. They’re kind of short as a kid, but pretty tall as an adult – not quite as tall as Scorpia, but almost that tall, and also at least somewhat buff.

Also, I know this isn’t a physical feature, but they always walk around with that little flower trinket in their chest – Sagi has a similar one. He found it in a box when he was little and when Willow saw him with it, they promptly decided they wanted the same one, so their parents got them the same one. Neither Willow nor Sagi take them off very often, they actually still wear them well into adulthood.

Aster

He has freckles, dark brown eyes and extremely short white hair which you can see would probably be a lot more curly should he choose to grow it out. His skin-tone is somewhere in between Scorpia’s and Perfuma’s. He also has some red Scorpioni-features – the shoulders, the tail and the waist-parts.

He’s shorter than his twin sister Kohana for most of their childhood, but eventually outgrows her by about five inches when they‘re in their teens.

He’s also the only one of the kids that actually ends up being taller than Scorpia when he’s fully grown.

Kohana

She has dark brown eyes, Scorpia’s skin-tone and freckles, also long straight blond hair that she usually grows out to about waist-length and then wears in really any kind of plait, but most often a ponytail, but she cuts it off almost completely on a couple of different occasions throughout her life, mostly because it sometimes if it gets in her way or on her nerves all of a sudden.

She has pincers, as well as the knee and waist-Scorpioni-features.

She also has her ears pierced and likes wearing different kinds of colorful earrings from a pretty early age on, often even mismatching ones.

She’s relatively tall, give or take about as tall as Willow, maybe slightly taller, which makes her almost as tall as Scorpia.

And, again not a physical feature, but she also has either flowers or grass or both either on her clothes or in her hair at all possible times, varying from stuff like flower crowns and actual jewelry to just a grassy reminder on her shirt that she had another wrestling match with Aster in the garden.

48. What does their room look like?

Clover

His room is pretty tidy for the most part.

He has shelves filled with astronomy, gardening and cooking books that his siblings often lend and that are then never returned to him again – except for the cooking books because he’s made it very clear that he can’t cook as well as he usually does without them when too many of them disappeared that one time.

He also has a bunch of different CDs because he’s really into music – he can’t play any, but he really likes listening to it –, and he also has a couple really terrible old movies that he likes to make fun of with his parents and siblings, especially if one of them is having a bad day, as well as some children’s books that he often read to Willow and the twins when they were little and then kept because of the good memories.

He has a photo album where he keeps pictures of all his loved ones that he always keeps somewhere close to his bed, and an old baby blanket that he brought from the orphanage, which was the only memento he actually wanted to keep when it became clear that Scorpia and Perfuma would stay his moms for the rest of his life.

Thorn

Her room is very flowery, different potted plants standing on most of her wooden furniture as well as embroidered flowers on her white curtains.

The room is kind of tidy, but there’s a lot of notebooks and pens scattered all over it – she started keeping a diary pretty much since she first learned how to write, and she keeps all of them so she can look at her memories whenever she wants. When she’s a teen, she also picks up a habit of writing – sometimes stories, but more often, poems, which she keeps locked up in a treasure chest because she’s too shy to show them to anyone.

There’s a bunch of different genre novels on her shelf – she’s mostly into RomComs, stories about friendship and horror –, she also has a bright pink meditation mat that’s always lying on the floor in front of her bed for when she needs to relax, along with a tea set that her parents gifted her.

She also has a secret stash of sweets to make herself feel better whenever she’s upset that she keeps in a jewelry case with a false bottom in a drawer in her bedside table.

Willow

They have a bunch of cacti in their room, because they’re the only plant that Willow can actually have that they don’t accidentally end up killing after, like, a week of constantly forgetting to water them. Most of them are on their window sill. Their room is probably the tidiest in the entire house, including their parents’ bedroom. They have a calendar over their bed, a bunch of fluffy pillows and a mint-green blanket on their relatively large bed. They’re also the one that got to keep Scorpia’s little scorpion plushie – Frosta had it for a while after she was adopted, then Thorn until Scorpia and Perfuma adopted Clover, and then Willow got it. The twins each got their own separate plushie, so Willow ended up keeping this one, and it’s been sitting on top of their science book shelf since they turned twelve.

There’s a fluffy colorful carpet on the floor, and some equally colorful curtains to fit the picture, and a really bright nightlight on their bedside table that they‘re allowed to leave on day an night if they want to.

Willow also always has their swim gear somewhere in reach, which is probably the only thing in the room that they never end up searching for.

There’s also a bunch of different photos all around their room – family photos, and of their friends, mostly photos of Willow and Sagi and also some of them with Angie.

Aster and Kohana

They share a room for most of their childhood, so I’m going to do them together.

The fact that they share a room is mostly because it was just easier that way when they were little – they were offered to get separate rooms when they grew older, but they didn’t want to, and only actually end up getting separate rooms when they’re around fifteen years old.

These two are chaos incarnate, and so is their room. There’s books and toys all over the place, but despite that, both of them always know where everything is, surprisingly – and if one of them asks the other to hand them something, the other does it immediately without ever searching before. Their parents sometimes joke about how that’s their real magic skill rather than their connection to the Runestones.

There’s also a sword somewhere amidst the chaos that’s hopefully but probably not a toy that Frosta got them for one of their birthdays, as well as Aster’s ice skates and aways at least one canvas that Kohana starts painting on and then gives up on at least three times a week until she’s eventually satisfied and it gets hung up on the wall in the hallway or the dining room. Because of this, there’s also tons of art supplies scattered everywhere, and a huge red stain on the otherwise light brown carpet where she accidentally knocked over a cup of paint, tried to clean it up and just made everything worse. They sometimes joke about how someone that got on their nerves was murdered there.

There’s also a bunch of pictures on their wall.

They’re often just standing in the middle of their mess, painting and drumming, respectively.

78. If they had a nightmare, who would they run to?

Honestly, that really depends on who’s around in the scenario with most of them, but I’m just going to go with “if they could pick literally anyone”.

Clover

Perfuma, that’s not even a question. He’s thirteen when he’s adopted, so it’s not the kind of “mommy there’s a monster under my bed”-nightmares, but he does have some bad dreams about more serious topics – he doesn’t remember much about his biological parents, but sometimes he hears shouting at the back of his mind when he closes his eyes and wonders if it’s them, and sometimes he has dreams about being back at the orphanage with that one kid that bullied him.

He then knocks at his mothers’ bedroom door softly, enters and wakes Perfuma – she told him very early on that she doesn’t care how late it is, he’s always allowed to wake her or Scorpia if he needs them –, and when he wakes her up, the first time she does is leave the room with him to talk to him alone for a moment. She always asks if he wants her to wake up her other mom as well, and sometimes he does because sometimes the only thing he needs is to cuddle with his moms on the couch in peace until he calms down...

But especially shortly after the adoption, he don’t want to feel like a burden to his new adoptive parents, and it’s worse enough that he’s annoying one of them – he’s pretty afraid they’re just going to decide they don’t want him after all if he turns out to be too difficult of a child, because he has friends and acquaintances that were adopted and eventually cane back to the orphanage because the adoption didn’t work out –, and despite Scorpia being the softest, friendliest person he has ever met, he’s also kind of intimidated by her at first because she’s so tall and buff and he is a really short forest elf, which is why it’s a little easier for him to talk to just Perfuma about his nightmares at first. ...and he also gets a little overwhelmed with multiple people questioning why he’s feeling bad sometimes, even if they mean well, so sometimes one person works better for him.

Scorpia sometimes feels insecure about this, but really, she just wants her kid to be happy, and if her wife can help him more than she can, that’s fine, and she’s obviously not going to blame him for it or make him feel bad about it.

Perfuma always makes him tea if he wants one, and then they’ll just cuddle under a blanket on the couch, and if he wants to talk, she’s going to let him talk, but she’s also not going to force him to speak to her about things he’s not ready to talk about. Sometimes, she tells him stories from her childhood to show him he isn’t alone with at least some of his fears, but of course only if he wants her to. Sometimes she’ll just take him outside into the garden so he can get some fresh air and lay down in the grass to look up into the sky and at the stars – he’s really into astronomy, and if he can’t talk about what’s bothering him, telling her stories about different constellations always calms him down and makes him feel better, so she will gladly listen to that for several hours if that’s what he needs.

...that, and also sometimes he just needs to hear that mom will kick someone’s ass with flowers if they bother him again.

Clover and Perfuma grow really close pretty quickly if you couldn’t tell.

Thorn

When Thorn has a nightmares, she usually just wakes both of her moms when she’s little – this changes a bit as she grows older and realizes there’s different kinds of help she needs depending on how upset she is and what kind of nightmare she had. Sometimes meditating with Perfuma helps her calm down and feel better, sometimes she just need Scorpia’s hugs and some hot cocoa – but honestly, this can be applied to most situations when she’s upset, not necessarily just nightmares.

Sometimes, also just she really needs someone to talk to, and, depending on the topic, it’s easier to just talk to one of them instead of both because she knows which one of her moms will understand her fears better, but sometimes she also just needs both of them.

She rarely ever goes back to her own bed after a nightmare and instead just climbs into bed with her parents.

Sometimes, when they stay over at Bright Moon, she also goes to cuddle with Arrow when she’s scared because Arrow glows and that calms her down – and also, Arrow will absolutely stage a kitchen robbery for some sweets in the middle of the night just to cheer her up.

Willow

They connect with Scorpia very well very quickly, so usually it’s Scorpia that they run to after a nightmare for some late-night cuddling and the best, most beautiful singing in the world to put them back to sleep.

Willow rarely ever has any nightmares that they can put into words – they wake up terrified and shaking, but without an actual memory of what they’re so afraid of, so there’s usually not a lot of talking involved. Scorpia usually makes them some tea, then sings to them and leaves the lights on when her child falls back asleep so that they’re not as scared anymore when they wake up again. After particularly bad nightmares when Willow doesn’t want to sleep again at all, Scorpia usually just puts on a movie or two until eventually, their tiredness catches up to them and then Scorpia sleeps on the couch with her kid sleeping on her chest.

They also often wake up Thorn who allows them to sleep in her bed and then reads to Willow until they fall asleep. When it’s especially bad, she hands out some of her precious emergency candy to make them feel better.

Aster and Kohana

Since Aster and Kohana share a room, the first person they usually wake is each other – sometimes deliberately, and sometimes accidentally, either by waking up screaming or by turning on the light.

After that, who they run to depends which one of them had the nightmare – if possible, they both like to wake Frosta who will definitely beat up any possible monster under their beds.

Other than that, Aster usually wakes Clover who takes their minds off things by either going downstate with them for a midnight snack that they prepare together, or by reading funny stories to them where the hero always wins and defeats the bad guys – he then convinces them that the stories about the good guys winning are way too scary for any possible monsters in their room and that they’ve long fled by the time the story ends, but also offers to read another one, then another and another of they’re not completely convinced. This goes on until they fall asleep, and sometimes Clover doesn’t even make it back to bed and just falls asleep in a chair in between their beds while he’s reading.

Kohana on the other hand usually wakes Scorpia, especially after she’s learned to control her magic more, so her mom can help her practice her magic outside to take her mind off things and help her feel stronger. Aster often joins in on the training as well, and then they end up being so exhausted that not only do they fall back asleep when Scorpia puts them back to bed afterwards and sings them to sleep, but they also sleep in in the morning – which rarely ever happens to any of the kids, but especially not to those two with their seemingly endless amount of energy.

—

Here are the questions again if anyone wants to ask anything else.

#scorfuma #scorpia #perfuma #spop #she-ra #scorfuma kids #she ra #she-ra oc #my ocs #spop Clover #spop Thorn #spop Willow #spop Aster #spop Kohana #answered #spop next gen

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ckret2 · 4 years

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would you mind explaining "Careless whisper" "I will always love you" and "Friend please"? no pressure though!

Oh god you chose two of the meme-iest songs! Both in one post! I can’t believe it!

Okay.

This took me forever to write because I wrote half of it and then got distracted for weeks and didn’t get back to it until I got a fresh ask today with some more songs and I was like, crap, I should finish this one.

So the first three paragraphs in this post still apply here, I’m not gonna copy paste them, go read those paragraphs if you haven’t yet. tl;dr i’m answering questions about why i included songs on my radiosnake spotify playlist because i like rambling for thousands of words at a time, also the playlist is based on a fic i wrote.

Feel free to keep sending me questions about more songs on the playlist. Explanations under the read more, assuming the read more works, which I make no guarantee of because this is tumblr.

Careless Whisper (Lyrics)

… except, the jazzy version.

So lemme tell you a story about how “Careless Whisper” came up and then I’ll explain why it actually belongs on the playlist.

The only way I can outline a story is by sitting down with another person and rambling the plotline at them, copy pasting it into another document, and bam that’s an outline.

Right now, in the disjointed process of outlining a sequel to Cold Day In Hell, I’m sort of chunking random ideas at a couple friends to see what sticks. One idea is that, when Alastor is drunk, he’s 90% worse at pretending he totally doesn’t care about Sir Pentious at all. If they’re ever drunk at the same social event, he will subtly (not subtly at all) follow him around all night like a puppy and hang on to his every word, automatically playing this sort of nonsense in the background.

One of my friends announced sadness that it didn’t start off with “Careless Whisper,” so I checked Postmodern Jukebox (the fastest/easiest/most common way to translate a modern song into Alastor Aesthetic) to see if they had made a jazz cover (they had), and I reassured my friend that the PMH cover definitely played every second song while drunk!Alastor was mooning over (and/or looming over) Sir Pentious.

And then I went oh goddammit the lyrics actually fit, dammit, now I’ve gotta put it on the playlist.

So I put it on the playlist.

Here’s the great thing about song lyrics. Even if everyone knows that the lyrics mean one thing, language is inherently ambiguous and you can totally just decide to read the lyrics a slightly different way if you really really want to and the exact wording doesn’t make it impossible. Everyone KNOWS that “Careless Whisper” is about cheating, but it never SAYS it’s about cheating (like, it says “cheat a friend,” but like the singer could’ve cheated their friend at cards? it doesn’t say), so you can just decide that it’s about any other kind of betrayal in a relationship! Like, say, blowing up your ally’s steampunk airship fleet. The song never says it ISN’T about a steampunk airship fleet.

So let’s just establish right now that this song is no longer about cheating. That’s out the window.

In the original song, “dancing” is probably intended as a metaphor for having sex. In THIS context, it is literally dancing. The emotional core of CDIH, the moment around which the rest of the story rotates, is the night that Alastor and Sir Pentious dance together. And although Alastor no doubt dances plenty of times after leaving Sir Pent, he’s certainly never going to dance like that again—like he’s with a lover, like he wants to be touching his dance partner, rather than either alone or while distastefully putting up with physical contact with someone who doesn’t matter to him.

The interpretation of the line “careless whispers of a good friend” that I think is probably Most Common is that a friend of the singer’s lover warned the lover that the singer is cheating on them, and the singer thinks that the fact that the lover now knows is worse than not knowing at all, because now that the lover knows they can never go back to normal, hence why the friend was being careless. Aside from any questions of, like, whether or not that’s a sound opinion at all—I’ve always interpreted that line differently. Since the singer refers to their lover as a “friend” (“should have known better than to cheat a friend”), I’ve always assumed that the singer would refer to themself as their lover’s friend, and so the “careless whispers of a good friend” were the whispers that the singer themself made that started whatever affair it is they had.

And so that assumption—that the “good friend” that said something they shouldn’t have is the singer—is the interpretation I’m carrying into the song’s inclusion in the playlist. In this case, it’s Alastor’s decision to lie to Sir Pent about how he feels about him (claiming that he never cared & that he was just screwing around with his emotions) before running off that are the “careless whispers” because, although not exactly whispery, they do have the same effect as in the song: ever since he said them, there’s been an unmendable rift between Alastor and Sir Pent (which was, like, his objective, but he’s still not happy about it)—and, more than that, it was very careless. Alastor had intended for his actions to just push Sir Pent away, not to effectively ruin Sir Pent’s ambitions to rule hell completely. But, that’s what happened. Because he didn’t think anything through. He just said and did the very first things he could think of to push Sir Pent away. Extremely careless.

And, of course, the specific version that got included was chosen because it sounds jazzy. Yay for PMJ, making all sorts of songs Alastor-ready.

I Will Always Love You (Lyrics)

… except, the super dark version.

So I figured out at some point that the easiest way I was gonna find Alastor music was through jazz-style covers of songs a la Postmodern Jukebox, 1) because PMJ has been actually mentioned as among the limited varieties of modern music that Alastor would listen to by virtue of the fact that they do covers that sound like what he used to listen to, and 2) because Puff here isn’t actually a fan of jazz and it’s a lot easier for me to slowly wade into the water via jazzy covers of songs I already know than it is for me to fling myself into the deep end like “appreciate Jelly Roll Morton! Appreciate Jelly Roll Morton NOW!!!”

(I am slowly and laboriously training myself to be a fan of jazz, because Alastor is a RADIO HOST from NEW ORLEANS in the ROARING TWENTIES AND A LITTLE BIT OF THE THIRTIES, i will NOT be writing him while in complete ignorance of a subject that probably occupied a huge portion of his life.)

So due to the fact that I was looking for PMJ-esque genre-switching covers of songs, I drifted over to other genre-switching song cover acts like Chase Holfelder to go through the songs and go “hm wonder of any of these work." This song is an exception to the genres I’m looking for for Alastor, but it still makes the list because like, the vibe is just right.

Have y'all ever actually listened to/read the lyrics to "I Will Always Love You” before? Not just the AAAND IIIIIIIII-IIII-IIIIIII WILL ALWAAAYS LOVE YOOOOO-OO-OOOU bit but the actual lyrics. They’re sad. The lyrics are “I deeply love you but if I stayed with you I would only hold you back so i’m going to leave you because it’s for the best but i’m super sad about it and i always will be.”

Now, that doesn’t 100% line up with Alastor’s situation. Because, like, obviously, he was doing the exact opposite of holding Sir Pent back when they were together, and fearing holding Sir Pent back was not the reason he left.

But it is among the reasons he avoids the hell out of him now. The primary reasons, of course, are still “being in love is scary and i do not want to do that so maybe if i avoid him i can continue pretending that i am not in love?” and “lmao he justifiably hates me now so why try"—but #3 on his list is the recognition that, since they broke up, Alastor’s actions have caused a constant cascade of events that have held Sir Pent back ever since. (And Alastor also suspects that there might actually be some kind of legitimate curse or fate or something going on here—that part of Alastor’s role in hell is playing the part of Sir Pent’s personal hellish divine punishment.) So he didn’t leave because he’s sabotaging Sir Pent’s ambitions; but he sabotaged Sir Pent’s ambitions because he left.

And therefore, as a consequence, he should stay away from Sir Pent now. He shouldn’t beg forgiveness and a second chance—because he doesn’t deserve them, and because he might make it worse.

This particular cover of the song really kicks the anguish up into high gear. The most common Whitney Houston version is like, okay she’s brokenhearted, but also somehow somewhat empowered by the brokenheartedness—like even though she’s leaving sad and bitter, in her heart she knows that the decision she’s making is for the best for her beloved, and she can draw strength from that. There is no drawing strength from the decision in the Chase Holfelder version—just using it up. It’s like he’s burning through all of his reserves of strength to push his loved one away. When Whitney hits the big note, she’s pulling power into herself to belt that out. When Chase hits the big note, he’s pouring out every last bit of power left inside his body. You can imagine Whitney walking away from this song with her head held high and her back straight but Chase is just gonna collapse to his knees with his shoulders hunched and head bowed—completely empty, a husk. That’s the vibe I want with Alastor—that every single day of his self-imposed exile he’s losing a little piece of himself, hollowing himself out. He can’t draw strength from it.

Typically, when I’m picking songs for this playlist, I don’t pay much attention to the gender of the singer (my only main priority on this playlist is that by the time it’s done I want the genders of the singers to be roughly balanced on both Sir Pent’s part and Alastor’s part), but in this case I think the fact that the singer is male contributes to it working for Alastor the way another version with a female singer wouldn’t. Not entirely sure why—maybe because, even though the voice doesn’t sound anything like his, it’s easier to actively imagine Alastor singing the song when it’s got a male voice? Maybe because, thanks to Sexism In Society, a woman saying "I’m leaving you because I’d get in the way of your dreams” more easily comes across as “Oh… I am simply not good enough for you… I’d hold you back…” while a man saying “I’m leaving you because I’d get in the way of your dreams” more easily comes across as “I wouldn’t hold you back, I’d push you down. I’m dangerous for you.” And the latter fits Alastor better.

(But hey, if any of you know of any versions of “I Will Always Love You” with a female singer that makes her sound dangerous as hell, feel free to recommend them to me. Not because I’m looking to replace the version I’ve already got but just because I’d really like to hear it.)

Currently, it’s listed as the last song on the Alastor portion of the playlist. I recently reorganized it so that the Sir Pent portions and Alastor portions each flow from the shallowest/most surface emotions down to the deeper/truer/more hidden emotions, and even before I did that reorganization, “I Will Always Love You” has been the closing song on Alastor’s side since it was added to the playlist. That feels like the right note to leave it on: after everything else has been said, once every other layer and lie has been stripped away, the deepest and truest and last thing Alastor would have to say to Sir Pent is “I hope life treats you kind and I hope you have all you’ve dreamed of” and an anguished screaming declaration of love.

Friend Please https://genius.com/Twenty-one-pilots-friend-please-lyrics

So remember when I said that language is inherently ambiguous and if you want you can totally just choose to read words differently if the wording doesn’t actually prevent that interpretation? This song is clearly about suicide. I have decided for the purposes of this playlist it is not about suicide anymore! It’s still about depression but not about suicide! When the singer was like “Please don’t take your life away from me” what he meant is “Please don’t take your life, and also, I am emphasizing that if you do so you are removing yourself from my life to try to show you how much you mean to me,” but how I have decided to interpret it for this playlist is “literally do not remove your life from my life, as in, like, don’t run away and stop talking to me.”

So. As I mentioned in my last song meta post, there’s sort of two—not genres, but like, musical aesthetics that I’m drawing from for Sir Pent: Victorian-ish/steampunk-ish sounds, and emo stuff because Vivz said that’s what he actually listens to. Twenty One Pilots fits the criteria for emo for me—idk and idc if other people consider them emo, they toured with Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco, they count as far as I’m concerned—so they’re actually among the bands I’ve been intending to specifically look at for potential Sir Pent Songs.

For the most part, they’re, like, too good at the sad millennial vibe. But that song works.

“Friend, Please” comes low on Sir Pent’s portion because it’s deep in the more genuine emotions—I’ve actually considered putting it last and may still do so, it would make a nice counterpoint to “I Will Always Love You"—actually I’m gonna go do that, gonna go shuffle the playlist, there, good—and it’s also something that he couldn’t/wouldn’t say until after he knows about Alastor’s deep thoughts. Reinterpreted so that it’s not about suicide, it becomes about a friend who’s still depressed, but the focus of the song becomes about the friend’s self-isolation—a self-isolation that’s fueled by denial and self-delusion, the friend convincing themself that they’re alone, always will be, and can’t/won’t have anyone else in their life again that they can depend upon.

Which, although he doesn’t necessarily seem to be depressed, is certainly the vibe Alastor gives off in the show—that despite his overly-friendly overly-familiar attitude, he probably keeps everyone else at a great emotional distance. In canon he might be okay with that. In fic, he’s doing that at the expense of pushing away a person he loves very much—and then pushing away anyone that could help him cope with that loss. Leaving him very alone and perpetually disguising himself as fine with that. Maybe, when he can go years without having to see Sir Pent, he can be fine with that.

But I have Big Plans for that sequel and you know item #1 on the list is "stick Alastor and Sir Pent in a position where they’ll have to cross paths all the time so that it’s like threading a giant needle with barbed wire, stabbing the needle into Alastor’s heart, and slowly dragging the barbed wire straight through.”

And after that? Living like a ghost, claiming he’s fine when he’s been completely emotionally drained, is gonna be a pretty accurate description of his mental state.

Right now, Sir Pent is in no way close enough to Alastor to know that—and in no way sympathetic enough toward him to care even if he did know. He still hates Alastor for completely ruining his life. But there’s still that part of him that used to care about Alastor and still could come to care about him again. And if that part gets revived, and if he gets close enough to Alastor to see how miserable he’s made himself by trying to push everyone away and denying that he’s pushed his own mental state into as bad a state as it’s currently in, his reaction would be “you absolute dumbass” followed by trying to shout some sense into Alastor by pointing out that every one of his problems is caused not by external factors, but by his own damn screwed-up perception of the world. Like, every one of his problems he made himself, and he can unmake them. He’s just got to uncover his eyes first.

It’s easy for fandom to just, like, characterize Sir Pent as an all-around dumbass—strategically, socially, emotionally, etc. Until and unless we see otherwise—and see it so firmly that even I can’t find ways to headcanon around it, and believe you me, I can headcanon my way around a lot of things—I choose to believe that the only areas he’s definitely a dumbass in are “understanding modern slang” and “remembering NOT to charge into battle without considering the odds the second he sees somebody he hates.” This means that I like to believe he also has a reasonable level of emotional intelligence, and a healthy level of compassion that he can deploy, when he so chooses, on someone he considers worthy of that compassion. He’s evil, yes, but self-professed evil, which means self-aware evil; which means that even though there’s gotta be something fucked up with his worldview for him to choose to be evil, it is a choice he’s making, not something he’s doing specifically because he believes it’s right/necessary. And he can turn it off when he decides he’s with someone that deserves it.

Now, is Alastor on that list? Not currently, hell no. But there’s potential for him to make it on the list—that potential for Sir Pent to care about him again, to want to see him throw off the things that he’s using to hold himself back, to want to see him become better and happier, to want him back in Sir Pent’s life—buried somewhere deep beneath Sir Pent’s burned emotions and decades of resentment.

#(i've got asks for five and a half other songs on the playlist)#(i'll get to them uhhh... soonish)#mementomori #ask #music #about my writing #(sorta?? my writing comes up)#meta #hazbin hotel #headcanons #radiosnake

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ptersparkers · 5 years

Text

your old man’s scared of nothing (the adventures of y/n stark)

summary: the avengers are giving a rare day-off and they decide to watch a film. unbeknownst to y/n, someone who hates horror films, sam decides to pick that genre. let’s just say he’s not on the nice list.

a/n: hi sweet pea, thank you for this request! i love, love, love anything avengers + fluff.

warnings: fluff, a swear word, mentions of anxiety, and the conjuring (i don’t go into detail because i’ve never seen it).

masterlist / taglist

Perhaps you should’ve just stayed in your bedroom where everything was safe and nothing made you jittery. The living room suddenly seemed too small, the lightbulbs underneath the lamps looked like some science fiction masterpiece, and the bright screen shining in the dark room depicted images that you’d rather not think about.

It was a Thursday in the summertime and, for once, the Avengers has absolutely nothing better to do with their free time other than to lounge around and take advantage of Fury telling them to relax.

You didn’t know much, but you knew you loved days like such. Everyone seemed to forget the bad in the world and everyone seemed to grow loose when it came to hanging around one another outside of combat and training. It was nice.

Except, you didn’t like that you had to watch a scary film despite waning nothing more than to crawl in your room and watch YouTube videos until your eyes grew tired.

It was your turn to pick a film last time (you didn’t watch a film but three of John Mulaney’s stand up comedies straight) and Sam had the first pick this time around. He chose The Conjuring, and you swore you couldn’t hate anyone more than you hated Sam for the next couple of hours.

The night started innocently enough. At six, all the Avengers (minus Peter who was at Ned’s) ate Chinese take-out, courtesy of Tony’s oh-so generous wallet (Bucky stole his credit card). At seven, you helped Steve make the popcorn and made sure to load the popcorn cart (Natasha bought one as a joke but you found it pretty handy) with extra kernels, butter, and any other flavoring you had in the kitchen.

At seven thirty, Wanda put a bunch of drinks on the coffee table in between the television and the couches. There was soft drinks, waters, and lemonades. Your one proposed rule (much to the dismay of others) was absolutely no alcohol because if you weren’t allowed to drink it, they weren’t either.

(But that didn’t stop Clint from sneaking a flask in from time to time. You knew but didn’t say anything.)

At eight o’clock, you relinquished your film-picking duty to Sam and you were almost positive he would pick a feel-good comedy that was riddled with corny jokes, action, and cheesy pick-up lines.

Oh boy, were you wrong.

Natasha sat in the love seat alone while Clint and Bucky sat in work chairs they hauled from Tony’s extra office. Sam, Rhodey, and Bruce sat on one of the large couches while you, Tony, and Steve sat on the other. Wanda and Vision were off to the side.

The large screen in front of you scared you half to death and you were almost positive Steve noticed. You sat in between him and Tony with Steve to the right, and you had unknowingly flinched to your right side whenever something on the screen startled you. It was your natural reflex to curl to the right and you were sure Steve was making sure you weren’t scared to death.

When the film ended, everyone couldn’t stop talking about how great the film was and how great it was to relax and unwind. You thought after all you’d seen in real life that this film would be a piece of cake, but that was far from the truth.

Everyone bade one another a good night and you walked to your room alone and turned the light on immediately. You scanned your room for anything suspicious, knowing that you were being ridiculous. When there was nothing in your closet or under your bed, you sighed gratefully and turned your light off before running across the wooden floor and jumping underneath the covers.

Your skin crawled at the mere thought of something walking around you. It wasn’t real, you knew that, but your imagination ran absolutely wild and there was no sleep in the near future for you.

Pushing the covers off of yourself, you slipping a pair of socks on and padded your way to your father’s bedroom. You were happy that Pepper was gone until Saturday and unapologetically knocked on Tony’s door, figuring he’d be awake.

“Dad?” you asked tentatively from behind the door. You could hear him walk towards you and watched as he opened.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Do you, um, think I could stay with you for the night?”

Tony gave you a funny look. “Don’t tell me you were scared by the film.”

“I can’t, because that would be a lie.”

Upon noticing your timid figure, Tony didn’t say another word but smiled and gestured you to walk in. You sighed in relief and got over how embarrassed you felt that you needed your father at this age, but you wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to spent time with him.

“I know it’s dumb,” you said as Tony otter the space next to him. You spoke as you pulled yourself underneath the covers. “I see all this horror and shock all the time with your line of work but that film was on another level. I literally feel like my ankles are going to fall off.”

Tony chuckled. “Your old man’s scared of nothing. But you have a valid point and your ankles are definitely not falling off any time soon.”

“Do you think we could watch cartoons or something? Like American Dad, or something. I need some political satire and family humor in my life.”

Tony smiled and turned the TV on, opening Hulu to put on your requested show.

“You doing good lately? We haven’t had time to catch up after I got back from Nicaragua last weekend.”

You nodded. “Yeah. MJ came over and we cooked everyone breakfast on Tuesday. Peter fell into the pool after Sam was chasing him with a water gun, which was hilarious and I regret not filming it.”

“That was nice of her,” Tony commented. “I like that kid. Very perceptive.”

“She could smell a lie from a mile away. Kind of like you, but more brooding.”

“No one could out-brood me,” Tony said. “Maybe Steve when I’m not paying attention in debriefings, but even that’s a maybe.”

You chuckled. “Okay, whatever you say. Pepper finished the gigantic pile of paperwork from last month and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so relaxed in my entire life.”

“Pepper? Relaxed? That must be new!” Tony joked. “She deserves a break. And how have you been holding up?”

“Hm. Well, I’ve been going to bed earlier and that helps with my anxiety a little. I wake up earlier and I feel good about the day, which is something I’ve been hoping to get to. I think therapy’s really helping.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Tony said with shining eyes.

“I love you.”

“Unrelated, but did Vision draw a dick on Peter’s face?”

***

Taglist:

@kath94210 @sessi03 @olliekookie @edgyhargreeves @simonsbluee @meraki--me @sleep-i-ness @amourski @zaynjawy @captainlarsonn @katiemcrae @holyhellthatbook @madeismyname @bands-and-shietz @janndishstuff17 @knightofreaders @rororo06 @unfortunateshelby.

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peters-starks · 5 years

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Control

part 3

Peter Parker x Enhanced!Reader

Summary: Based on the song Control by Halsey. You have had your abilities enhanced by a new wing of HYDRA, using your abilities as a new secret weapon. However when the avengers discover her on one of their missions her life completely alters.

Masterlist (previous parts on Masterlist)

The door to your cell, or as Stark called it “room”, a room you had no choice in leaving as well as no personal belongings, slid open revealing the person you identified as Wanda Maximoff, a so called failed HYDRA test subject. From the files you studied her and her twin brother were the only two to survive an old HYDRA wing of experiments in mutating the civilians of Sokovia. Wanda had acquired powers not so dissimilar to yours however Wanda was able to manipulate the mind with her chaos magic reality warping which made you very wary of her.

Wanda held a cautious smile and held a pile of neatly folded clothes in her hands which made you notice the electric band around her wrist, no doubt some form of Stark technology to be used against your powers.

“Tony asked me to bring you some clothes to change into” her accent still held the accent of her home country but you could hear the American twang that surfaced on it. You nodded at her and kept the plain expression on your face showing her no emotion. She set the clothes at the end of your bed and continued to stand there for a few moments, her brain ticking to figure out what to say next.

“I know, I know some of the things that may have happened to you when you were with HYDRA and the torture you may have gone through” you simply rolled your eyes as she continued “if you ever want to talk about any of it I can always listen, we’ve been through similar things” you almost felt bad about the scoff you let out at her kind words but years of solitary confinement and being used as a literal weapon had worn down your caring side to say the least.

“you really don’t think we went through ‘similar things’ do you” your voice was so cold and a part of you was begging yourself to stop and just thank the poor girl but that other part which wasn’t even you was now out and rearing to play. “you volunteered to be their little toy solider, to have needle after needle put into your skin and have your mind and body beaten and tortured again and again until you no longer knew your own name” the scowl on your face deepened and your voice lowered more and more into a growl as you spoke, you could obviously see the twitch in her eye as she grew anxious as your volatile state. “you know nothing Wanda Maximoff, I was stolen and I was changed and you have the nerve to ask to be my therapist”.

Wanda simply nodded with wide eyes as her fingers moved at her sides waiting for you to attack, but you wouldn’t give her the pleasure, and you didn’t want the avengers to know much more about your powers than you had given away so far, so you simply sat there and shook with rage. Wanda turned and walked away from you after realising nothing more would come from the interaction and as the door closed behind her you let out the whimper you had been holding in and only let a single tear shed as you stared at the camera placed in the corner of your room.

Once you were changed and had washed your face in the sink that barely clung to the wall from your previous outburst the door opened once again and Tony Stark and Spiderman stood there. The billionaire was in his normal attire but no doubt had his suit hidden somewhere on his body whilst his smaller companion was now fully suited up. You wondered what he looked like under that suit as you now knew he was nothing but a kid, just like you, who was thrown into a cold world of villains and aliens.

“Time to go and get your jabs kid” Stark moved his hands forward and revealed some high tech hand cuffs and you rolled your eyes as you moved your arms out allowing him to place them onto your wrists. As they clicked on your knees wobbled and you let out a strained groan as you physically felt all your energy drain away. “Just a precaution, nothing personal” Tony muttered as he turned and gestured for you to follow them.

Your feet scuffed the floor as you trudged behind the two superhero’s down a long white corridor towards what you assumed was a laboratory. The entrance to the lab had glass walls and a glass door so you could clearly see Dr Banner working inside playing with some kind of hologram in the corner of the other walls which were all white and sturdy, a few of them having projectors and random PHD qualifications scattered amongst them.

“ah! Our new infamous guest” Banner turned as the three of you walked in and you marvelled at the room around you, the technology wasn’t too far from hydra’s but you assumed it was fairly more advanced and cleaner. Much cleaner.

You placed yourself up onto the hospital style bed placed by the door and Dr Banner sat down in the chair opposite you as Tony and Spiderman awkwardly lingered by the door watching you with intensity.

“Just going to ask you a few questions and maybe draw some blood, do a few tests, simple stuff like that okay?” Your eyes widened as he mentioned drawing your blood but the handcuffs on your wrists that were stealing your energy stopped you from putting up a larger fight.

“So, do you know exactly why HYDRA chose you? Or what they did to give you these powers” Dr Banner held a device in his hands which you suspected would be used to take notes or whatever fancy scientists did in these situations.

“They didn’t choose me” your voice was low and slightly hoarse “they stole me”

“stole you from where?”

“my father – he was – he carried the mutation gene and when there was some kind of radiation leak in my town it activated and HYDRA found him and that’s how they found me” your eyes glassed over slightly as you spoke, still unsure as to why you would share this with the avengers but at this point all your resistance seemed fruitless and so you let them have a snippet of your all so typical tragic backstory.

The night they came replayed in your head as you slept in your HYDRA cell often. Your father had been exposed to the radiation leak and just been discharged from hospital after being held there for over a week. You were relieved to see him as the nurses hadn’t allowed him any visitors with excuses of infection and danger but you knew now they had been lying, they were monitoring his new activity for HYDRA. Your father had explained to you about how he had changed and how electricity had started going haywire around him. About how as he lay in confinement he got a grasp on how to control some of it. He even showed you by turning the microwave on simply by touching its handle.

Of course, it was scary at first, knowing your father was some kind of mutant but you were far too happy to see him safe to worry. Until they came. You had just finished dinner and listened to your father go on about how much better it was than hospital food when the door broke open and armed men stormed your home. Your father had died trying to save your family. He had used all his power against him but he still didn’t have full control and so was easily overpowered by their high-tech weapons. They had kidnapped you and your family and separated you as you watched your home burn from the back window of the van.

Within your van there were four others. One of them you recognised from your school, he was a year above you, only 15 at the time, and from the tear tracks on his face you could tell he had a similar evening to you. The other three were a few years older than you but none above 20. You later realised this was because you were the test subjects whilst the rest of your families were most likely killed as soon as you were all out of sight.

Bruce sighed and his eyes filled with pity as he stared at you, your shoulders slumped and your head down looking at your confined hands. “and you carried this mutated gene?” his voice was softer now and you almost hated the pity that came from him, but it was the only pity you had received since you were 14 and it was a nice change to harsh words and violence.

“I assume so, the others they took didn’t survive so I assume they didn’t carry the gene – only me” that was a lie. The boy from your school had survived the trials as they called them. He had developed telepathy as well the ability to control the wind and air around him. You two were often put into combat to train as he would form mini tornados around you or suck the air out of your lungs whilst you threw him against walls and accidently broke his arm once. But he was too painful to remember, he was your secret that these strangers didn’t deserve to know about.

Peter could sense something wrong with that statement and made a mental note to ask you about it if he got the chance, if there were other enhanced then the avengers needed to know. To free them. Peters heart ached as you spoke to Bruce about the experiments they had put you through, quick to change to topic on any other enhanced. The idea of a bunch of mad scientists hungry for violence putting dangerous chemicals and electric shocks into a girl as young as 14 for years on end pained him. It was in moments like these when Peter was glad that the avengers existed to stop cruel acts such as the torture of innocents because without them then he thought the human race would be a literal flaming garbage can.

“and what exactly are your powers?” Peters interested sparked again at Bruce’s question as he had previously zoned out to avoid the complete heartbreak of your ‘trials’.

“I’m not sure” you lied again, if you told them then they could find out your weakness or even worse try and use you against HYDRA.

“now I’m not sure I believe that bumpy” Tony spoke up for the first time and stepped forward slightly uncrossing his arms. “you seemed to know how to use your powers just fine when you were crushing my suit against a wall” you simply shrugged at tony and decided to stay acting dumb.

“so, HYDRA didn’t train you to use your powers” Bruce questioned raising his eyebrows at you.

“they trained me in combat and I know how to use my powers to an extent” you stated keeping your guard up not letting them in on the extent you knew your powers could go to.

“and what is that extent” Tony asked looking over his shoulder to Spiderman almost like he was asking for back up.

“basic training and control I guess” you avoided eye contact with the three avengers and they seemed to admit defeat just for today and moved on.

Dr Banner got up and walked to the other side of the room and uploaded a few things onto his main computer giving you a chance to turn to the spandex clad hero by the door.

“So Spider, how old exactly are you, you sound younger than I thought” after speaking to long and answering questions you gained some confidence in speaking more freely around the men in the room as so far any harsh intentions weren’t made clear.

“I sound wha- I don’t sound young” the spiderman stood up straighter as he spoke and Tony chucked slightly. “why do you wanna know?” you could hear the accent in his voice the more he spoke and managed to pin it to somewhere in or around Queens.

“Just curious” you shrugged and tried your best to smile at him. Something about him truly interested you and you couldn’t put your finger on what yet

“Um, around your age? I’m 18” his voice sounded unsure like he couldn’t tell if he was allowed to tell you that, but as you spent quite literally most your teenage years in a prison he figured there was no way you knew any to tell much less could figure out who he was. You nodded at his response and went back to watching Bruce work.

“you haven’t been around many people your age in a while have you?” he asked, and the question was innocent but it made you frown as you thought about Malcom, the teenage boy you had spent two and a half years with before. Before it happened.

Your silence seemed to tell Spiderman to leave the question be as he awkwardly shuffled and nodded. Bruce walked back holding a needle and your eyes immediately widened.

“Just need to take some blood nothing scary” Bruce reassured as he slowly approached you. Peter felt it first, the tremor from the floor and then the other two men slowly realised when objects started coming off the tables due to the room shaking.

“woah now bumpy its okay calm dow-” Tony was interrupted by FRIDAYs voice alerting him of commotion affecting the whole floor. “thanks I can tell”

Your hands shook as the cuffs around you seemed to malfunction from the pulses of energy radiating out of your hands, your eyes glowed an electric blue and sparks came out of the computers in the lab.

“no blood” the voice from inside you spoke and made everyone in the room step back, the voice sounded nothing like you. It was deep and sounded almost animalistic. Your name being spoke made your head snap to the side. Spiderman moved towards you with his hands in the air. It growled from inside you and snapped the hand cuffs up raising a hand in front of you warning him to step no closer.

“its okay, no ones going to hurt you here” You tried to push it down and just stop from the calming tones from the masked hero but it wouldn’t. the fear of being used and tested again just as you finally got a break from it all and it could all come back.

Just as your other hand raised to flick and clear a path of escape when a small prick hit your neck and your pulled it out inspecting the small dart, the same one they had used last time, the first time, and you looked up betrayed deep in your eyes as they finally rolled back and you saw nothing but darkness.

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So this fic is super slow burn because i have a thing for slow burns just so it shows the back story of characters and also develops relationships because i want this to have some proper angst and fluff if my awful writing allows it lol. sorry it took so long my file corrupted and so i had to completely re write it ugh.

give me feedback because i’m a validation whore :)

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moxy-fruitbat · 5 years

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Muriel as a father part two!

Okay first off can someone please draw Muriel wearing a baby in a baby carrier it's for science please and thank you.

Also my mind stuck on the twins thing so congrats Muri and MC you got double!

- He's in love with them right from the very start. They're his little cubs, his baby bears, his chickadees, and he would do literally anything to keep MC and them safe.

- Skin to skin contact was super easy bc he's like 90% chest. Even as they got older, the babies would for the most part stop crying when he held them close.

- MC and Muriel baby wear, mostly so they can take care of things around their little hut homestead while still keep an eye on them.

- There isn't much room for one crib in the hut, let alone two, so all of them co-sleep together, with Inanna at the foot of the bed.

- The kids get satchels of myrrh that they wear around their necks, but it's also in their bath water and laundry soap so everything smells like it. No one's forgetting Dad in this household.

- They go on evening walks together in the forest, as a whole family (including Inanna, of course!). Muriel will point out little things to them, like what kind of bird made what call, or what this certian type of plant or mushroom is, or what kind of weather certain clouds mean, even when they were too young and/or were sleeping for the majority of the walk.

- Speaking of Inanna, she is absolutely pumped to have little kids in the house. She's very protective of them, and she curls up with the two of them around the fireplace. They fall asleep nestled in her warm fur.

- Inanna gives them sloppy dog kisses right on the face, causing shriek in a fit of giggly laughter.

- MC loves watching Muriel interact with the babies; seeing him share things he loves with the people he loves always puts a huge smile on her face.

- He introduces them to every chicken by name.

- Muriel and MC will call each other "mama bear" and "papa bear", which they both honestly find super sexy. They don't get much time for that anymore, though, since the hut is literally one room and they co-sleep.

- Occasionally, once the littles ones were old enough to not die from being left alone for 20 minutes babies are scary. They can just...suddenly die for no real reason, they'll leave the twins with Inanna while they both go "out to get more firewood" and have a quickie. She has never had to, but Inanna would start howling for them to come back if anything started to go wrong that she couldn't fix herself.

- Uncle Julian, Auntie Portia & Aunt Nadia, or Ommer Asra will occasionally babysit, too, taking the kids for an overnight stay in the city, giving Mama and Papa Bear a well-deserved night off together.

- Muriel is the worst at disciplining them. He's so afraid of scaring them ("I don't want my own children to hate me......") and they don't really listen to his quiet "Hey, stop that." So it's up to MC to put them in line when they need to be.

- Once they're too old and somehow end up taking up the majority of the bed (and kicking both MC and Muri in the face at the same time), Muriel makes them their own big-kid beds. They're made out of beautiful, hand hewn logs, with designs and their names carved into the headboards.

- It's a relatively easy transition into getting them to sleep on their own. "Mama and Papa are right across the room, see? You can come get us any time you need us."

- They have a lot of handmade wooden toys, and when they are old enough to play out in the forest by themselves, they have their own adventures building forts and playing pirates ("Just like Uncle Julian and Ms. Mazelinka!").

- Papa Bear rides! Muriel will hoist them up on his shoulders (yes, both of them. One on each.), or they sit on his back like he's a horse, on all fours. They pull on his hair, which he hates, but he puts up with it to hear their giggly laughter.

- Ommer Asra brings them cool new toys from far away places, and Aunt Nadia makes sure they have new clothes all the time. She has a great eye, of course, and always picks out very cute stuff.

- There's a growth chart in the door frame of the hut, and these kids grow FAST. They're Muriel's, after all, and if your MC is smol like mine it doesn't take long for them to pass her up once their growth spurt hits.

- Evenings are quiet and usually spent in front of the fireplace, with MC reading out loud to the family, or just makes the story up as she goes. Sometimes she sings/plays an instrument (if your MC knows how). When they get older Muriel might teach the little ones how to wittle, but otherwise they usually play quietly, snuggle up with Inanna, or sit with MC and listen to her stories. If it's a special night (or usually just because!), they'll pop popcorn in a shaker over the fire.

- Now that the number of occupants of the hut has grown from 1+wolf to 4+wolf, their little homestead has grown, too. In addition to foraging and the chickens that roam around the forest, there's a vegetable garden and maybe even a hive or two of bees. It's more work, but everyone is happy.

- Muriel goes to sleep every night, his wife in his arms and his children fast asleep in their beds. Inanna is asleep at his feet, or in bed with one of the kids. He holds MC close and kisses her forehead while she's sleeping. He wouldn't trade the life he has for anything in the world.

#the arcana #the arcana game #the arcana nix hydra #the arcana mystic romance #the arcana visual novel #the arcana muriel #the arcana mc #the arcana apprentice #the arcana headcanons #moxy ink blot

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melancholy-smile · 5 years

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At the age of 10 nearly 11 I got into a car accident. My mother was badly hurt, but she’s alive. She still faces pain and there’s a dent in his shoulder blade. It was a tow truck, with a van on the back, that hit my moms car. I blacked at upon the impact. I woke up on the car floor with glass in my boots. I thought my mother was gone.

I only cried in the ambulance to the hospital that day, but not hard. Just shed a few tears. I have a scar on my neck and I had glass in my chin from August to March.

It makes me sick sometimes to watch my mom talk about it, and the way she talks about it almost looks like she’s bragging about it.

The day before my 11th birthday she pulled me out of bed by my hair, kicked and hit me. I had been awful at getting up that week, as going to the middle school that was 30 minutes away scared my mom. So she gave me a phone as an early present. I made internet friends and stayed up talking to them. That day is the day she broke I guess.

I had faced my father hitting me over the head to get me to focas on my homework better. And him embarrassing me by recording me and saying how long it’s taken me to do my homework. He kept telling me one day if I had a friend over or significant other he’d show them the videos.

When I was younger our cat got fixed and my dad joked about us waking up to find her with her guts on the floor from the stitching popping. I was terrified to go to bed that night as I kept imagining it and was panicking wanting her to be okay.

My dad used to hold me and make me watch horror movies with him. Zombies used to terrify me Because it related to an apocalyptic word. He made me watch a cartoon thing, “Lenore the cute dead girl,” and made me cry so I went to my room Because the cartoon had her squish hamsters to death because she thought they were a toy some kid had. The toy and pet store were right next to each other. He kept trying to get me to come back and watch it. The had the hamsters squeal in pain. I wasn’t older then ten. Somewhere younger than that.

He kept trying to make me watch him play the scary maze game. Or games like it. To make me scream and cry because it was funny to him. I think I eventually learned to not give him the reactions he wanted. Which is why when things scare me, sometimes the most that happens is my eyes widen. I wasn’t afraid of the dark till he made me watch a movie called “don’t be afraid of the dark.”

My dad used to give me Indian brush burn on the arms for no reason sometimes. Just to see me in pain. Oh yea he also made me watch happy tree friends which used to make me cry so much. He made me watch robot chicken too. One episode thing with woody and buzz I think gave me nightmares for so long. And again this was all before the age of ten.

As I’ve gotten older the hitting had stopped. I’m “too big to hit anymore.” The fear is still there, and sometimes I think if it started again I would deserve it. I was a brat when I was young and I was rotten. I had major anger issues also, worse than now and I believe it was because of what my parents did.

My aunt used to live with us and I would be with her constantly. My mom would come home from work and wouldn’t even come to see me. My aunt talked to me, fed me, played with me, while my dad did his music or drawings, and my mom would play on her phone.

My dad was whipping my mom in the ass with licorice and I thought he was really hurting her. I could hear her jump and shriek. I used to despise my father and it’s because of my mother making me only love her, and she’s all I’ve got, and No one will Ever love me as much as Her. when they got in the car I whipped him in the face with the licorice I had and I’ve never seen him turn so fast. In one motion he turned and whipped me back in the face with his piece. I don’t think I did or said anything else.

I wanted to help my mom Because I remember a fight where she ran out of the house followed by my dad and I was alone for a bit. I remember him shoving her against the stand up wardrobe and yelling in her face.

I used to fight with my mom and scream and cry. I don’t remember when I stated but I used to say “take me to an orphanage.” I feel like shit for it. I feel like I was just being a brat. And my mom got me to stop when she said “you want your clothes to smell like garbage bags? You want goodnights to stop?”

I used to think my sister wanted me gone or dead. I don’t know why. I remember crying in my moms closet and thinking I wanted to be dead. I wasn’t close to being 10.

My mom said she hated me once, she said I said it first but I don’t remember that. It wasn’t a word anyone had said in the home. Why would I say that? Even if I did, She’s a literal adult who shouldn’t say something like that. I’ve asked her about it, and it’s “you said it first,” like a kid telling a teacher “she started it.” I said it to my dad later on, after we moved, and I could see the pain and sadness in his eyes. And him saying that what I said hurt, and he went to bed so I couldn’t apologize till much later. Why did my mom say she hated me? I felt pressure on my shoulders, I was about to cry, I was having bad anxiety over cleaning my room. And when I just wanted it to stop and for her to go away she said it. Why did I say it to my dad? I really don’t remember.

I tried talking about feeling sad and upset to my mom three times. They all ended with her hitting me and telling me I was fine. Most recent one, My dad came in once after she hit me and said “did I hear her say you hit her in the face? You don’t do that, but if I hear you scream in your mothers face again I will hold you down and let her beat the shit out of you.” I was 12, getting close to 13. I didn’t even scream in her face, I raised my voice slightly Because she kept talking over me, interrupting me.

My dad once kept trying to “help” with homework. I made him so frustrated he went to smoke. It still sticks in my mind of my mother saying “your father is trying to quit smoking and you aren’t helping.” Like everything was my fault.

Homework took forever Because I’m dyslexic and dysgraphic. So I confuse numbers, letters, skip sentences, And have problems with writing motor skills

My moms parents hit her, her mom broke some wooden thing when spanking her, and my dad’s father hit him. So badly once he couldn’t go to school because of his face. That’s where the face rule comes from. They continue the toxic cycle, and Because of them I don’t want kids. I don’t wanna fuck them up too.

Technically yes things have gotten better but I’ve always been “mature for my age” Because of this shit.

Things have gotten better, I have more freedom and things to make me happy, more than I guess than a lot of kids. Sometimes I wonder if they’ll ever start up again with everything. Sometimes I feel like because this is all I the past I don’t have the right to be mad at them for any of it. Like because it’s “old news,” I shouldn’t fuss, and forgive them.

I still feel like everything was my fault. That I deserved every bit of it. That I made them so angry they decided that was the way to handle it.

If it were to start again, I think I’d deserve it, as much as I wanna say I’d fight back, this time I’d tell, I don’t think I would.

But still technically things haven gotten better. Look at me, haven’t been his in two years maybe? There are threats, from mom, surprise but no commitments.

Things are fine.

#personal #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw childhood trauma #tw emotional abuse #tw car accident #trigger warning #abuse #child abuse #childhood trauma #emotional abuse #car accident

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vicehectic · 5 years

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Manga I Read on the Reg

This is just a collection of manga I read regularly whenever they come out.

1. Boku no Hero Academia

Most of you know what this is. In a world where 80% of the population has these special abilities called “quirks”, our main character is part of the 20% that doesn’t have a quirk. The problem is, Midoriya Izuku, hero fanboy and enthusiast, has desperately wanted to be a hero since childhood. Without a quirk, Midoriya is discriminated enough as it is and everyone around him is telling him he can’t become a hero. But Midoriya refuses to give up and prepares for his future in order to become a hero. As high school entrance exams draw near, Midoriya is losing hope but in one miraculous encounter with Japan’s Number 1 hero, Midoriya is given an opportunity to obtain a quirk and pursue his dream to become a hero.

I’m going to be honest. When I first started to hear about Boku no Hero Academia, I avoided it. I was already in too many fandoms and decided that with all that I had to do in my life: it wasn’t worth it. I pushed it away for later or potentially never. The most I did was click on a couple clips advertising BNHA and decided from those short clips that I despised Bakugou Katsuki. He was the classic bully character that I didn’t need reminders of. He’s the type of person I hate most in the world. I weighed the ethics and morality of this fantasy world way too heavily and moved on. Then, one day, having broken my ankle and forced to stay off it; I decided to read the Boku no Hero Academia manga in it’s entirety in one sitting. Since then I haven’t missed a new release. I think the reason I was so attracted to this series was how much it made me think of Katekyo Hitman Reborn which is one of my favorite franchises. I wanted to see more of a nervous and unsure main character despite being a badass and Boku no Hero Academia has certainly given me that.

This has an anime up to season 3 and a movie. Season 4 and a second movie has also been announced!

2. Haikyuu!!

One of the only sports manga! Haikyuu follows Hinata Shouyo, a short teenage boy entering his first year of high school aspiring to be the volleyball team’s ace despite almost never competing before, and Kageyama Tobio, a genius setter who has previously been abandoned by his teammates. Now, it’s not exactly that cut and dried. Hinata, despite being a nervous wreck and an idiot at times, along with practically being a beginner at playing volleyball with a real team, has incredible athletic ability. The only thing he can really do is jump and at the beginning of his high school career he takes to spiking with his eyes closed. Kageyama is a genius with a terrible personality. His insecurities after being abandoned make him standoffish to nearly everyone, but he always pulls through when aiming his set exactly to where Hinata will hit it. The team they join are full of fun and vibrant characters that have the title of the fallen crows because their school’s team has “fallen from glory”. It’s a typical sports manga with lovable characters and interesting relationships.

I also avoided reading Haikyuu when my friends started talking about it. I had already invested so much time into reading The Prince of Tennis and I didn’t want to get sucked into another fandom. I caved of course. The characters just seemed so fresh and new to me. It was less about the volleyball and more about how the characters interacted with each other. I actually started reading Haikyuu because of two videos on youtube that I believe no longer exist. The first was a compilation of each jump serve layered on top of each other and for each second the character serving would change and it was like art. The second was a compilation of Iwaizumi and Oikawa bickering. That really sold me.

This manga has an anime up to season 3! Season 4 has also been announced!

3. Akatsuki no Yona

God I love her. Akatsuki no Yona follows the sheltered princess of the Kyouka Kingdom, Yona. Yona has lived her entire life within the gates of Hiryuu Castle with her cousin Su-won, her bodyguard Hak, and her father: the King. All Yona wants in her future is to marry Su-won, despite her father’s insistence that she will not. The night of her 16th birthday, however, she discovers Su-won over her father’s body, pulling a sword out of his corpse. She escapes the castle with Hak and after gathering herself after her father’s death and cousin’s betrayal she visits a priest that tells her to find the four legendary dragon warriors. Kyouka has a legend, in which the first king was a red dragon in human form and was accompanied with four warriors with his dragon brothers’ blood. Yona, with the priest believing she is the reincarnation of the red dragon, sets off with Hak and the priest’s companion to find the dragon warriors.

I was hooked on Yona the moment it came out. I watched the anime like five times and when I realize there wouldn’t be a second season I read the manga. I’ve said this before in another post but Yona isn’t just a shoujo manga. The main character is a strong inspirational female character trying her best to fix the country that declared her dead. The romance is sweet but also awfully comedic. The fight scenes and the dramatic scenes are intense and draw you in. But just like any other manga, it’s the characters and the relationships that drew me in. Besides Hak and Yona’s thing they’re avoiding talking about; everyone else acts like siblings just trying to stay together the best they can and help anyone they can along the way. The dragon dynamic is hilarious, the backstories are sad, the romance is soft, and the bishounen is a genius.

This manga has one anime season!

4. Yakusoko no Neverland

The ultimate mind fuck. The orphans at the Grace Field House live peaceful lives with each other and their beloved Mama. It’s one big happy family. They spend the days like any other family would; breakfast, mind-wracking tests, tag, dinner, and rinse and repeat. But even to the children, somethings seem strange. They’re never allowed to venture beyond the gate that surrounds them like a ring in the forest around the house. By the time they reach the age 12, they have to leave their little house. The children that have left never write to them, despite promising they would. The story follows main characters Ray, Norman, and Emma as they find out the secret behind their little house and try to somehow change their pitiful fate.

So, this is another manga I decided to read in one day. A friend and I decided that since the anime would be coming out soon we would read the manga together in one go. Needless to say we were nearly dead after reading through all of it. So much happens in this that you’re like “what just happened” despite having just read it. You literally have to expect the unexpected when it comes to Neverland. This series would be ruined if I said anymore but the fact that these children can go through that and still smile and have hope despite the odds against them makes my heart warm.

This manga has an anime that is currently airing!

5. The Rising of the Shield Hero

The one that makes you angry almost immediately. According to legend, the holders of the four heavenly weapons are the heroes that will save Melromarc from the calamity that come in waves to the world. Iwatani Naofumi is just a normal university student when he picks up a book that transports him to another world. It’s entirely by bad luck that he’s given the role of the disregarded Shield Hero who can only wield shields and is ultimately useless offensively in battle. What’s even worse is that the companion who joined him at the start of his journey accused him of raping her and he’s been scorned by the kingdom and all its inhabitants since. The world seems so dark and Naofumi doesn’t want anything to do with the other heroes and incoming waves of calamity. The light in his life returns when he enslaves a sickly and depressed demi-human to fight for him. Raphtalia soon finds her master isn’t scary or cruel and becomes determined to make sure no one will suffer as she once did as a child while making sure Naofumi knows he is loved and appreciated by at least one person.

God when I first read this I was so mad. Naofumi didn’t deserve any of this, especially when the arrogant king summoned him to fight a battle he had nothing to do with. The same friend introduced Shield-bro to me and practically begged I read it. Yes we call it Shield-bro, it’s a thing. Look up Shield-bro on google and this will come out. It’s just a different sort of isekai where instead of being the hero that’s being praised - you get a real person getting accused of a real crime he didn’t commit. He’s been handed the short end of the stick just for being the Shield Hero no one appreciates. He’s literally the underdog in everything. You just want to root for Naofumi. It’s a really good stress reliever.

This manga has an anime that is currently airing!

6. Isekai Omotenashi Gohan

This one is so softtttt. Our main character and her little sister gets their literal house transported to a different world. Oh and their dog comes too! Their Japanese home is transported in front of a luxurious foreign-looking castle in which people greet Akane and her little sister, Hiyori, claiming to have summoned the priestess that will save their world from the miasma. Hiyori is delighted and starts her training as the priestess, but Akane has nothing to do as a normal office worker and their home’s homemaker in this new world. After spending a month feeling useless, Hiyori comes to plead her sister for her cooking - starting Akane’s adventure in cooking classic Japanese staples that somehow attracts the attention of the Knight Commander of the Chivalric Order, the King, the kingdom’s princesses and much more. That is, of course, while teaching her knight guard Jade how to cook as well.

This isn’t very long and updates rarely but it’s so cute. All the antics are just so cute. The food is amazing and it’s just a story about how food brings everyone together. It’s masterful and done well. But it’s also not just a cooking story. Akane and Hiyori both struggle with Hiyori being the world’s priestess and her encountering danger. The sisterly bond is great in this one.

7. Koushaku Reijou no Tashinami

If you can’t tell I’m really into Isekai. This manga follows another regular office worker, but she’s really into otome games. Our main character dies from a car crash and when she wakes up she is in the footsteps of the villainess, Iris Lana Armelia, from a game she had just completed, in the middle Iris’ judgement scene from the love interests because Iris harassed the game’s main character: Yuuri. The original fate of Iris, after losing her engagement from the prince and being exposed of harassment in front of her whole school, leads to a miserable life at a church. Iris, this time around, as an efficient office worker from Japan, gets sent by the Duke, her father, to care for their territory’s fief as fief lord. From there Iris, along with her loyal companions and friends, care for the fief with all of Iris’ knowledge from Japan with plenty of bumps along the way from the game’s love interests and Yuuri. Yuuri may not be the sweet video game protagonist she is thought to be.

So, one day, I had read through most everything and I wanted a little bit of romance in my life. And while this didn’t originally have the romance I wanted, it still piqued my interest. The real appeal to this is how strong Iris is as a character. She doesn’t take shit from anyone and holds her head up with pride. But in the times she is weak she has supportive friends that would do anything for her in a heartbeat. Another appealing factor is how technical and political this manga is. The manga describes real life things to improve the fief such as a banking system and taxation, but also gets political with the two factions of the two princes. It’s a good mix a strong female lead, economics, politics, royalty, and friendship.

There is also a Light Novel that some amazing people have translated online! Go support them!

8. That Time I got Reincarnated as a Slime (Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken)

More isekai! Just like most isekai main characters, our main character is a simple corporate worker who lives a normal life in Tokyo. Unfortunately, after pushing his friend out of the way of an assailant on the street, our MC dies while hearing a strange voice responding to his dying thoughts. When our MC wakes up he discovers that he is now a slime in a new world and discovers a dragon in the cave he woke up, befriends him, and receives the name Rimuru Tempest. Strangely, Rimuru has abilities that a normal slime would not have - the most notable being his ability to devour anything and mimic its appearance and abilities. Rimuru starts his journey after escaping the cave and one thing leads to another and suddenly there are a bunch of monsters calling him “Master” and “Rimuru-sama” and Rimuru is the head of a monster country.

I normally don’t like OP characters, but I strangely find Rimuru okay. Rimuru has plenty of over powered characteristics and abilities but Rimuru’s personality and demeanor makes it tolerable. It’s just fun seeing how everyone underestimates Rimuru because he’s a slime. Rimuru is also very morally aligned, in that he’s very clear with his desires and doesn’t tolerate it if the line is crossed.

This manga has an anime that is currently airing!

9. I Reincarnated into an Otome Game as a Villainess with Only Destruction Flags

EVEN MORE ISEKAI! We follow Katarina Klaus who hits her head and awakens the memories of her past life as a seventeen year old girl in Japan. Katarina Klaus, however, is the haughty aristocrat villainess in a fantasy otome game with swords and magic. Having recovered her memories, Katarina cannot find it in herself to act the same as the old Katarina as she finds aristocratic society a pain. Unfortunately for Katarina, according to the game, death or exile awaits her for each and every route. Katarina decides the best thing to do is somehow protect herself by improving her magic and swordsmanship to escape the death flags. What follows are antics of farming to enhance her magical ability and her unintentional wooing of the game’s love interests. Oblivious and focused on matching the love interests to the game’s main character while avoiding a destruction flag, Katarina doesn’t notice how everyone, even the game’s main character falls for her. Farming, failed match-making, admiration from all sides, and a panicking main character awaits you.

This is another one that I found looking for romance. This is more of a comedy isekai more than anything. Sure there’s magic and other abilities but the manga doesn’t focus on that. The manga focuses more on the strangeness that is Katarina as she is now. I would have never expected to find an isekai manga MC have a hobby in farming. The way Katarina is so oblivious to everyone falling for her is also pretty great.

There is also a Light Novel that some amazing people have translated online! Go support them!

10. The Saint’s Magic Ability is Omnipotent (Seijo no Maryoku wa Bannou desu)

God how much isekai do I read? Sei, a regular office worker, was suddenly summoned to another world by a saint summoning ritual with another girl she does not recognize. The prince of this country, despite there being two girls summoned to their world, completely ignores Sei and declares the other girl is the saint who will save the country from the miasma, without confirming his claim. Sei, outraged, demands that because she is apparently not the saint that she be sent back home but is told it is impossible. Sei lives a comfortable but restless life at the castle, having gotten used to the grueling work style of Japan. While exploring the castle she becomes interested in potion making. Her magic is overly effective to everything she does and creates without her meaning to - even her food gives people more energy. As time goes on, more and more people come to respect Sei’s good deeds and starts to think she is the saint while the girl parading around with the country’s prince is a fake. Sei, knowing she is the saint, only wants to live a quiet life creating potions.

This one is just so precious because of how amazing Sei is without meaning to. She knows she is the saint but doesn’t want to admit it. It’s also really fun seeing how she interacts with the other characters. Sei isn’t used to praise or romantic attention. A lot of things are new to her in this new world but all she wants to do is be useful in her own way.

There is also a Light Novel that some amazing people have translated online! Go support them!

11. The White Cat That Swore Vengeance Was Just Lazing on the Dragon King’s Lap

This is sadly relatable. Ruri has forcibly been friends her neighbor Asahi for years. Ruri is the beautiful daughter to a foreign model and a diplomat of Japan. If you were to look up the definition of beauty in a dictionary, Ruri’s picture would be there. Platinum blonde hair, blue eyes, elegant Japanese features and all. Asahi, meanwhile, has been coddled and loved throughout her whole life because her approachable nature and cuteness that no one except for Ruri seems immune to. Everything Asahi does is somehow blamed on Ruri, even when she isn’t directly involved. Everyone is on Asahi’s side. Having tried to escape Asashi and the negativity of those around her on multiple occasions, Ruri has realized that Asahi is willing to follow her everywhere no matter what Ruri tries. While on campus at her university with Asahi; she, Asahi, and a couple of Asahi’s friends/admirers get transported to another world via magic and everyone rushes to Asahi calling her the lady priestess. Ruri, seeing this as her chance to escape Asahi, is told she is an idiot for thinking she could return to her own world. Almost immediately all those in the Kingdom of Nadarsia hate Ruri because Asahi herself keeps clinging to Ruri while ignoring them. Without Asahi’s knowledge they kick Ruri off the hidden forest and Ruri finds herself in the care of a kind, yet ugly, old lady from the dragon kindgom who takes care of her and teaches her about the magic the fairies grant in this world. Surprisingly, the fairies are seem to gather around Ruri and adore her. When Ruri has gotten used to this world she visits the dragon kingdom on her own, gets scared and wears an ancient bracelet given to her by a powerful fairy that allows her to turn into a cat and is given the title “Cherished One” and meets the Dragon King who falls in love with her cat form. Cue title and roll credits!

I say this is relatable because of a toxic frienship I once had. I broke it off with a friend and for a long time things were awkward among my other friends and a lot of people kept insisting that we would make up someday despite me not wanting that. These friends now have realized that it was a lot more than that and funnily enough they have broken it off with her as well. But this is a cute story about a victim finally getting her vengeance and the love and praise she deserves. There’s also cute cat antics and a sprinkle of romance in it.

There is also a Light Novel that some amazing people have translated online! Go support them!

12. Boku no Hero Academia: Vigilantes

A very familiar title to another one on this list! In a world where 80% of the population has these special abilities called “quirks”, our main character is part of the 80% that does have a quirk. Unfortunately, not everyone is blessed with a quirk such as fire manipulation or engines in their bodies to fight crime. Himawari Koichi has the quirk known as “Slide and Glide”, giving him the average ability to slide over plain surfaces. Despite this, Koichi has always wanted to be hero and admires Number 1 Hero All Might as his role model. Despite not being a hero, Koichi uses his quirk in public areas, breaking quirk regulation laws, to get to his destination quickly and hates said restrictions. After a series of events Koichi decides to use his quirk, while wearing an All Might hoodie, to do good deeds for the public - all simple things. All he ever does for awhile is give directions, clean up litter, or return dropped items while utilizing his quirk. But things become dangerous when he meets freelance idol Pop☆Step and a quirkless, yet powerful, old man known as Knuckleduster and they somehow become vigilantes for their neighborhood while getting deeply involved in a quirk improvement drug known as Trigger.

This is what I wanted Boku no Hero Academia to be when I first read BNHA. I wanted a quirkless character fighting crime with their own power. I have to admit I was disappointed when Deku got his quirk. The setting of Vigilantes (or Illegals) is before the BNHA timeline. Eraserhead has yet to become a teacher at UA and the original Ingenium is still running around. We get to see an other side of the heroes we love and hate and get to see how vigilantism effects this quirk filled world. Koichi, while also being an All Might fanboy is different from Deku. Pop☆Step is a cute tsundere idol who is still trying to climb the popularity ranks. Knuckleduster is a mysterious man who fights crime with his own justice and abilities. It’s an eye opener to another aspect of the BNHA world.

13. Bloom into You (Yagate Kimi Ni Naru)

The romance that isn’t supposed to be? Koito Yuu is a first year in high school who enjoys reading Shoujo manga. The problem(?) is that she doesn’t understand the feeling of love. Nanami Touko is a third year at the same high school that Yuu unintentional watches get confessed to but Touko refuses. Yuu gets recruited in helping the student council that Touko is a part of and realizes that Touko is the same as her. No matter how many people confess to either of them, be it one or dozens, they will never feel anything when it happens. Yuu goes to Touko for help, realizing that they are the same and gets advice to reject someone who confessed to her at her middle school graduation. But immediately after, Touko confesses that if it was Yuu, she could fall in love with her. What results is a story of a not-so romance and a refreshing coming of age story.

This is one messed up romance story. Like the relationship Koito Yuu and Nanami Touko have is so messed up. The upside to this story is that it talks about homosexuality and asexuality with so much lax that it’s refreshing. This manga is cute and entertaining at times and the romance is unorthodox. The character backstories are interesting and heartbreaking and the way the characters interact with each other are interesting. You won’t see what happens in this manga in most manga you come across.

This manga has an anime that is currently airing!

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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Let’s start off with some basics. What’s your name? Stephanie. How old are you? 30. What’s your hair and eye color? Brown eyes and naturally dark hair (I dye it red, though). How tall are you? I’d be like 5′4. What’s your relationship status? Single.

Alright, enough of that. Let’s move on to the random shit.

What’s your favorite song? I have a lot of favorites. I could never just choose one. What does that song mean? What is the message behind it? Is it your favorite because you relate to it, or do you just like the beat? Both. Like I said, I have many favorites. Also, a song can be a favorite for the memories attached to it. Have any pets? If so, what are they and what’s their names? I do. I have a 2 year old German Shepherd/Lab mix named Princess Leia.

Have you ever met your idol? I don’t consider him my idol now, but in high school I was a big fan of Drake Bell and I got to meet him twice. If so, were they nice or were they kind of an ass? He was very nice. What’s your favorite method of gaming? (PC, Xbox, Playstation, etc) Nintendo Switch. If you’re in college, what’s your major and why did you pick it? I graduated with my BA in psych a few years ago. How’re you doing today? Today was alright. What color are your bedroom walls? They’re white. Describe your favorite shirt. All my graphic tees. I have a pretty big collection going on. Use this space to tell someone off. Nah. What’s your view on smart watches? Cool or a waste of money? I personally don’t see the need, but I guess for others it’s convenient. What is one poster that you have hanging on your bedroom wall of? A water color painting of a giraffe I purchased at a crafts fair. How many times have you moved in your life? Only once I’m old enough to remember, but I think maybe a total of 4 times. If you moved, do you like where you are now better than where you were? We literally moved next door to where we lived before lmao. The landlord was remodeling this one and wanted to do the same to ours, so they offered for us to move into this one when it was finished. What’s your favorite color and why? Pastels, dusty rose, coral, mint green, and yellow. They’re aesthetically pleasing to me. Do you have a calendar? If so, what’s the theme? I just received my new Alexander Skarsgard calendar for 2020. This really sweet person online makes them and sent me my first one a couple years ago and then reached out again to me recently to see if I wanted another, which of course I did. Have any famous person’s autographs? Drake Bell, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Jim Carrey. Do you draw well? Nope. What type of cell phone do you have? iPhone XR. Should you be doing anything else right now or are you just bored? I don’t have anything else I should be doing. If you’re in school/college, what’s your favorite subject and why? Are you a cat or a dog person? Why? Dog person.

Tell me about the plot of your favorite book. I have many favorite books. I’ve told ya’ll, I suck at choosing favorites. I just can’t possibly choose one. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I wear glasses. What do you think about horror movies? I enjoy them now, which is something I wouldn’t have said like 4 years ago. I’ve just really gotten into them. If you love them (I do), what’s your favorite? Okay, okay here’s something I can pick a few top faves for: It 2017 and It Chapter 2, the Halloween movies, and the Scream movies. Got any cool Christmas presents picked out for family or friends yet? Yeppp I’m actually done with my Christmas shopping already, which is shocking for me. Do you do Black Friday shopping or wait for Cyber Monday? I do both. My Black Friday shopping is done online, too. Many stores have had Black Friday sales going on for weeks and extended through the weekend. Cyber Monday sales are going on all week as well. It’s so much better doing it online. No crowds or chaos. Have any mental illnesses? Yes. What’s your favorite word and why? *shrug* What is the most expensive thing you own, and what is it? My laptop. Did you buy that item yourself? No, it was a gift from my dad. Where do you work and what is your postion? I don’t. How often do you cuss? Rarely. What type of car do you drive, if any? I don’t. Are you happy with it? If no, what’s your dream car? Do you have a lot of social media accounts? Which ones? Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. What is your favorite genre of music? I like variety, but according to Spotify my top 4 genres are: Pop, hip hop, rock, and r&b. Does your family have holiday traditions? If so, what are they? For Thanksgiving we have Thanksgiving dinner and for Christmas we decorate the tree together and put up decorations, have Christmas Eve dinner and then watch A Christmas Story (TBS plays it for 24 hours straight and I like to keep my TV on the channel all night so I fall asleep and wake up to it), and opening presents Christmas morning with A Christmas Story on in the background. When I was a kid we used to drive around town looking at all the lights and decorations. If you’re in a relationship, are you happy with it? I’m single. How long have you been with your significant other? Do you like psychology? (It’s my college major). I do. I majored in it as well. What is something your state is popularly known for? I feel like people associate California with Hollywood and celebrities, and beaches. Do you like to do craft projects? If so, what’s the coolest thing you made? I like the idea of doing them haha. I wish I was crafty and creative and had the inspiration and motivation to do them. Do you watch sports or do you think they’re overrated? I’m not into sports. What’s one occupation you think gets paid too much and doesn’t deserve to? Hmm. Do you straighten your hair? I haven’t in years. Ever dyed your hair a color that isn’t natural? (blue, pink, etc) I dye it red. How’s your relationship with your parents? Great. I’m really close to my mom, she’s the best mom and also my best friend. Do you still live with them or do you have your own house? I live with them. What’s something you are currently saving money for to buy? I’m broke now after Christmas shopping, but I don’t care. I love buying gifts for my family. Next month I have to start saving up for my vacation. Do you smoke/vape? If so, what brand do you smoke/what device do you use? No. Ever done drugs? Just weed. Tell me one of your worst habits. Biting/picking at my lips and picking at acne and scabs. What’s a weird quirk you have that no one else you know does? I cook my Ramen for 6 minutes, alternating between stirring and not stirring. Like one minute I stir, the next minute I don’t, etc. If you game, what type of headset do you use? I just play with my Nintendo Switch. I don’t use a headset. I’ve never used a headset while playing any game console. What type of computer do you own, and do you like it? I have a MacBook Air. I love it. What’s the thing that annoys you the most? I’m such an irritable person. Sometimes it can be any little thing. What brand of TV do you have? Phillips Roku TV. Are you excited for Christmas? (It’s December 1st today when I made this) I love Christmastime. Tell me about your favorite vacation you’ve taken. Disneyland trips, beach trips, mountain area trips, and the trip my family and I took to visit my grandpa in Idaho one summer. My aunts, one of my uncles, a lot of my cousins, my mom, brother, and I all took the long road trip to go visit my grandpa for a week and we had the best time. It meant even more because he suddenly passed away just a few months later. :( We had no idea it would be our last time.

Tell me something cool about yourself. Lol there’s nothing cool about me. Did/do you get good grades in school/college? I got A’s and B’s. What’s your ringtone on your phone? Just one that came with the phone. I didn’t choose it. What’s your favorite store to shop in? Target, Hot Topic, Boxlunch, and Kohl’s. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy and why? I’d have to pay off my debt first and foremost. I’d pay off my parents and brothers’ as well. How long have you had a Bzoink account? I don’t have a Bzoink account.

Ever been to Field of Screams? If so, what’s your favorite attraction? Never heard of that one specifically, but I’m guessing it’s one of those things with like haunted hay rides, haunted houses, and people in scary costumes that jump out at you and whatnot. Those kinds of things are not my thing. I love horror movies, but I’m not about people jumping out at me and giving me literal jump scares. Nooo thank you. Do you own a Polaroid camera? No. Do you have hardwood floor in your room or carpet? Carpet. It’s a Saturday night, what are you typically doing? Same stuff I do everyday. Do you have a lot of friends or do you not have any at all? I don’t have any. That’s completely my own doing. :/ What’s your all time favorite movie and why? I have too many. How many blankets do you sleep with at night? Just one.

What’s the last TV show you watched? Did you enjoy it? KUWTK. Do you prefer cable TV or do you use Netflix? I have stuff I like to watch on TV and I like using streaming devices. Disney+ has been my latest obsession. What is your dream job and why? I don’t have one. :/ Do you think you would be a good therapist? No. What’s your favorite brand of clothing? I don’t have a particular favorite brand. Did you like this survey? It was fine.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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forestwater87 · 5 years

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Secret Santa 2018 - Chapter 1

Hello! So I participated in @campcamp-secretsanta again this year . . . although I’m afraid that I did go a little overboard. My recipient, @pikablob, asked for Gwenvid and Dadvid and was okay with both fluff and angst, and I’m playing with the idea a little bit, but in order to do that well, it’s looking like it’s going to turn into a 4-to-5-chapter fic (which has no name, as of yet. Suggestions are welcome). Because I know “Read More”s don’t always work, especially on mobile, and I don’t want to make people scroll past over 20 pages, I’m going to post the story in chapters -- two today, and ideally one each day through Christmas. (Once it’s all completed, it’ll go up on AO3.)

It’s not a Christmas-themed fic, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! Happy holidays!

He decides that this will be a healing year, a fixing and replacing and making-things-new kind of year.

They all need a little bit of that, he believes.

CHAPTER ONE: NURF

It starts when Gwen mentions that she doesn’t have anywhere to live after the summer, that she’ll have to move back in with her parents unless she finds something better.

(“And, like, anything better. This old guy in the park asked me if I wanted a sugar daddy and I was thinking about it.”)

When David suggests she stay at the camp year-round like he does, he fully expects she’ll turn him down. When she half-smiles and says that it’s better than any of her ideas, he thinks she’s kidding, chuckles numbly and looks back down at his phone.

When she doesn’t make any more plans to move out, he wonders if maybe she’d meant it.

When she starts peppering him with questions about the rest of the year, how he makes money and keeps himself busy and keeps the place from falling apart and keeps himself from freezing or starving to death, he realizes that she’s completely serious, that she’s serious about living here, and he has to bite the inside of his cheek raw to keep from grinning. Because when she says it’s better than nothing she means he’s better than nothing, that she prefers his company at the very least to that of her parents or of strangers and up until this moment he hadn’t ever considered that she might think he was better than literally anything.

So when she critiques his plans and makes her own, when she buys two rattling space heaters for the cabin and when she leaves for a whole weekend and returns with the rest of her life’s belongings in the back of the campmobile, David is quietly, glowingly happy.

(He is even more happy when she finally muscles past the mean little voices in her head and kisses him. They’re in the middle of Rowing Camp and they’re supposed to be watching the campers but they’re in a child-sized rowboat on the lake under blue sky and fluffy white clouds, and when she kisses him he almost forgets all of those things and nearly topples them both into the water.)

(He is even more happy when he realizes that kiss wasn’t a one-time fluke, but apparently a pattern, something to be repeated so many times he loses count.)

(And he’s the happiest he’s ever been -- quietly again, though, a warm gentle bubbling kind of happiness because he knows how defensive Gwen gets when she’s embarrassed -- when she finally admits that it’s not because she has no other options and it’s not because she’s bored, but because she just happens to like him better than either of them ever realized.)

So it begins.

The predictable doesn’t happen, and Max’s parents show up at the end of the summer to take him home. Both David and Gwen let out a sigh of relief, because the boy’s constant mutterings that they don’t care about him and wouldn’t bother to show up had been getting to them, and until he’s safely ensconced in the back of a ratty green two-door sedan they weren’t fully convinced Max wasn’t going to be left behind.

They spent so much time worrying about the predictable, however, that the unpredictable slips completely under their noses until the hours grow heavy and golden and damp, the threat of mosquitos looming as the air cools, and they look around and realize that something has gone wrong, and a camper has been left behind. It just isn’t the one they’d been prepared for.

Mr. Nurfington, an impatient female voice tells Gwen over the phone, hasn’t lived at this number for three weeks. He’s wanted for possession and resisting arrest -- what they might elevate to aggravated assault, the landlady adds, the coolness dropping from her tone as the conversation turns toward gossip, and Gwen should just hear what the police found in his trailer -- “but nobody’s heard a thing from him. His lease expires in two months and as soon as it does, I’m putting all his stuff on the lawn and the coons can have it.”

(Gwen sincerely hopes she means raccoons.) “Did he leave any contacts?”

Just his wife, who won’t be released for another sixteen months -- longer, if she keeps starting fights with the other inmates. There’s an uncle, Gwen knows, but a little digging reveals that he was sentenced to twenty years less than a decade ago, on charges that turn her stomach.

She sets down the phone and puts Nurf’s papers away, and tries to figure out how to explain all this to the two redheaded children sitting on the dock. Two very different versions, she decides, and calls David inside to give him something almost indistinguishable from the truth except that some of the more unsavory details are politely omitted, because at least one of them deserves to sleep that night and for some reason Gwen feels like David’s faith in the world ought to be protected.

Grimy and sweaty from the cabin’s closed-in air, she goes to the showers to wash away everything she’s just learned and leaves David to tell Nurf the version of the story they’ve agreed upon: that his father is gone, nobody is coming to pick him up, but it’s okay because they have a second bedroom in the cabin and this will surely be all better by tomorrow.

It isn’t, and only David is surprised.

It’s a good thing they have a bus, because the Sleepy Peak school transportation system won’t come pick Nurf up all the way at Camp Campbell. Of course, he flatly refuses to let QM drive him to school in a full-sized bus, which neither David or Gwen can really argue. Which leaves her with two options: either dropping Nurf off at school in the campmobile every morning before killing a half hour reading fanfiction on her phone before her job at Camp Corp begins, or driving the exhaust-belching, dangerously clanking bus to work and getting a few minutes of extra sleep.

She decides David is less likely to get himself killed with the bus than with Nurf, and resigns herself to a deeply uncomfortable morning commute.

The most surprising thing she learns on these quiet, sullen mornings is that Nurf is . . . a morning person. Not like David, of course -- no one is quite like David -- but he doesn’t drag his feet, is always sitting by the flagpole with his backpack (new, cheap like it’s made out of old tarp, all they could afford) between his feet when she staggers outside with a to-go cup of coffee and a fistful of David’s trail mix. Nurf doesn’t talk, but he’s attentive; he draws nonsense patterns in the dew on the Campmobile’s windows, and after a few weeks of this strange arrangement he’s comfortable enough to flip through the radio stations.

He likes classical music. David will tell her that he once asked to turn up the Farmer’s Almanac.

(Gwen confesses to David one night that she’s halfway convinced he’ll become a serial killer or something. It’s one of the few serious fights they’ve had, though less a fight than her sitting in shock-stone silence while he gets splutteringly, hand-wringingly angry at her. Tells her that she can’t ever say anything like that ever again -- can’t even think it -- that they’re counselors year-round now and that means never, ever giving up on their campers -- that if -- that as a child -- that he knows what it’s like to be a lost cause and Nurf will never feel like that as long as he’s at Camp Campbell, and that he needs her to be on board because this is hard and scary and he can’t do it alone. Even if their campers weren’t . . . such unique individuals, he would need her, and she can’t ever -- ever -- )

(He’s red-faced and shaking when he runs out of breath or out of words, she can’t tell which, and she tugs him half into her lap and kisses his temple and tells him that of course Nurf will be fine, they’ll all be fine, and she didn’t mean it and it’s okay. And she listens to his breathing even out and, not for the first time, she hates David’s father with every ounce of her being.)

So she trusts Nurf, for David’s sake. And she tries to understand him, for all of theirs.

The seasons will change one more time before she finds herself truly liking him, but she thinks maybe that’s just because neither of them are as good at trusting or understanding as David is.

The fall settles into a pattern of quiet cars and loud buses, of Summer Camp Extended -- which is how David likes to think of it, maybe needs to think of it, because the alternative is that he’s become a father of an aggressive boy the rest of the world forgot about -- where the activities are school for Nurf and work for himself, where the afternoons are spent trying to remember seventh-grade math, buying groceries, waiting for Gwen to come home from a job that demands much longer hours than it offers pay. Sometimes there are regular camp activities, too, when he can cajole Nurf into going for a hike or learning how to fish (though they can’t eat anything they catch in Lake Lilac; the fish there have been declared dangerously mutated).

He spends his mornings as a bouncer at Muffin Tops -- Bonquisha got him the job, and he knows that he looks wiry and weedy and not all that intimidating but the crowd is much calmer during the day than it will get as the evening rolls around, and he believes he can take care of himself if he needs to. (And he has to admit, he enjoys the funny looks his school bus gets when people cross the parking lot.) The customers are polite, if not especially chatty, his coworkers are friendly, the job is mostly standing outside and enjoying the fresh air. It suits him -- strange, unexpected, but surprisingly well-fitting.

David isn’t nearly as adept at metaphors as Gwen, but he thinks quite a few things in his new life could be described that way.

This is the first time he’s able to take just one part-time job, and let the rest of his hours go toward fixing up the camp, and so every patched-up set piece and wobbly table leg repaired he considers a gift from Gwen, who is answering phones and fetching coffee so that he can make Camp Campbell his own, not just legally but in spirit.

He decides that this will be a healing year, a fixing and replacing and making-things-new kind of year.

They all need a little bit of that, he believes.

David isn’t used to devoting this much attention to a single camper. (Not even Max, who has always been a special case.) It’s surprisingly difficult, this one-on-one closeness; he finds he much prefers the scatterbrained chaos of a room full of children. It suits the way he thinks, bouncing frenetic energy, instead of this careful plodding observation and cautious trial-and-error.

It would probably be different with almost any other camper, he has to admit. Nikki, for example -- she constantly needs to be moving, and he would be running to keep up. Harrison would probably be causing trouble, fires he would literally have to put out. Nerris, who can talk for hours at a time about the things that interest her. Preston swanning around the empty Mess Hall, always trying to find an audience.

Nurf, however, isn’t like the children who are sparkling firecrackers that dance and blaze until they get tired and fizzle out. Nor is he like the quieter campers, who still get bored and act out in ways they undoubtedly think are random but really are more like predictable bursts. But Nurf doesn’t seem to have much energy; he goes from school to homework to whatever little activity David can talk him into to bed without seeming depressed or bored. Gwen suggests that maybe Nurf would act out and bully the other campers because he was overwhelmed by the constant noise and activity, and after a week or two of helpless observation, he decides she must be right and leaves the kid to his own devices. Maybe he just really is quiet; it occurs to David that he only ever really noticed Nurf when he was causing problems, and it pains him that this realization comes just as he makes the decision to step back.

“Of course you ignored the well-behaved ones,” Gwen tells him one evening, curled up against his side with her cheek on his shoulder. “What are we supposed to do, let the Problem Trio destroy the camp while we try to get Ered to drop the ‘too cool to talk to anyone’ act?”

He knows she’s right, but it doesn’t make him feel any better about withdrawing. He throws himself further into camp rehabilitation instead, letting Nurf do homework and play on his phone (finally relinquished to him at the end of the summer) and do whatever else fills his afternoons, and tries to ignore the prickling panic that lingers at the back of his mind and tells him this is not okay, this is not how a Camp Campbell counselor should act.

The problem is, of course, that up until this fall it’s exactly how he’s always acted.

The other problem is that he and Gwen were wrong about the kind of person Nurf is; he isn’t a firecracker, no, and he’s not a Max-like schemer and instigator, a controlled burst of dynamite. But just because the tension bubbles under the surface doesn’t mean it’s not there, and eventually it has to boil over.

The tipping point appears to be David asking over the dinner table how his homework is going. He’s deemed it a nice, neutral topic of conversation, one that isn’t likely to veer into uncomfortable directions about his home life or the bizarre situation they’ve all found themselves in or what’s going to happen next. It’s safe and familiar ground, and whenever he’s grasping for something to talk about he returns to it gratefully, knowing it’ll never trigger a landmine.

Until it does.

“Sure, let’s just talk about homework,” he snaps, the hint of his slight damp lisp becoming more pronounced with irritation -- not that anyone would dare point it out to him. “That’s all you care about, isn’t it? Is my homework done? Do I need help with my homework? How was school, and what kind of homework did you get?” He slams his hands down on the table, making the dishes (and Gwen and David) jump. “Do you even consider the psychological ramifications of making an impressionable child feel like they are nothing but the sum of their academic achievements? And I am impressionable!” he adds, shoving his chair back and standing up; David notices for the first time that he’s grown a bit over the summer, enough to almost loom over them while they’re still seated. “I’m still just a kid, you know!”

He swallows, trying to find the right words (and keeping a careful eye on their silverware). “Well, of course you are, Nurf,” he begins carefully, with the distinct impression that he’s feeling his way through waist-deep water in the dark. “But it’s our job to make sure that you’re . . .”

How does he finish that sentence? ‘Okay?’ ‘Happy?’ ‘Safe?’ He’s not sure Nurf is any of those things, and the thought of being responsible for them makes his stomach coil and his fingers shake.

“That you’re engaging in an activity,” Gwen cuts in smoothly, placing her hand over David’s underneath the table. Her touch and the last-minute rescue both hit him like a lifeline. “Since camp isn’t in session, school is kinda your activity.”

Something flickers in Nurf’s expression, doubt cutting through the increasing red-faced belligerence, and David thanks whatever higher power might be out there for Gwen. She’s always understood the more difficult campers better than he does; it must be the Psychology degr --

Clouds roll in dark and heavy behind his eyes. “Why does everybody sign me up for activities I don’t want?” He picks up a napkin and began shredding it -- David wonders if he picked it up from Gwen, or if he’s always had that nervous habit. “I never asked to go to school, you know! My mom never went to school, and she’s only suffering from a lifetime of consequences made from bad decisions that she didn’t have the education or emotional framework to prevent!” He tosses the shreds of napkin to the table, the three of them watching in silence as the uneven confetti flutters over their food. “Everyone does that!”

“Well, that’s not . . .” David glances at Gwen, who shrugs. He felt less helpless when Nurf was throwing knives at him. “You have to,” he finishes weakly. “It’s good for you. And I thought you liked . . .” He wracks his brain desperately for scraps of what limited conversation they’ve had on their afternoon drives home from school, “history?”

“Ugh!” Nurf whirls around and pulls back his arm, then launches his water glass into the wall. It doesn’t break -- David bought shatterproof dishes for the camp long before any of his current campers started coming here -- but the sound is massive in the silent room. We should’ve had him sign up for Baseball Camp, David thinks wearily, watching the watch drop down the uneven wood surface. “Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to not have the vocabulary sophisticated enough to express what you’re feeling?!”

David rarely considers himself helpless, but as Nurf reaches for his mostly-uneaten plate, face still dark with bottled-up impotent fury, he feels like he’s been attacked by Daniel again, limbs as weak and useless as if they were tied to his chair. “I . . . think you have a great vocabulary,” he begins, taking the first steps into this sentence without having any idea where the end of it is. But his instinct is always for positivity, and it’s true that Nurf’s intelligence impresses him; he may have taken for granted, in some ways, that this is the one camper who he can always rely on to be direct, his words and his fists both brutally honest. “Usually I just say I’m mad.”

“I AM mad!” he shouts, but he drops the plate to the table instead of throwing it. His voice is loud enough to blow Gwen and David’s hair back like a strong wind, and they’re both too surprised to even wipe off the bits of potato that flew up into their faces from the plate’s hard landing. “I’m mad because you don’t know what to do with me, and the state doesn’t know what to do with me, and it’s the end of summer but I’m still at camp because nobody knows what they’re supposed to do with me, which is the exact reason why I ended up in Boot Camp in the first place, and all I can do is do homework until someone decides what’s going to happen to me and I don’t know why everything is this hard!”

His arms drop to his sides and his shoulders slump, eyes widening and staring blankly into a spot above their heads.

“Wow,” he says after a moment. “That’s a lot of dark stuff for a twelve-year-old.”

The Quartermaster pokes his head into the Mess Hall. “Anyone died out here?”

“No, QM,” Gwen says, giving David a sideways glance before grabbing the butter, reaching over Nurf’s plate like it wasn’t sitting in a mess of food in the middle of the table, “we’re good out here.”

The Quartermaster grunts and disappears back into the kitchen, where an unsettling grinding noise David can’t quite place begins.

Nurf picks up his plate and sets it back in its place, stealing David’s napkin and settling it over the spilled food left behind. “I should, uh, clean up everything, shouldn’t I?”

“After dinner,” David replies, keeping his voice as calm and unaffected as possible. “You should finish eating before it gets cold.” As he sits back down and reaches for his fork, he continues, “If I help you get the Mess Hall back in shape, Nurf, do you think you’d be able to give me a hand with the canoes? I’m trying to get them ready for one last trip before the lake freezes.”

“Is this a punishment because I threw things?”

“Absolutely not.” David feels like he’s walking on a very narrow bridge, with horrible drops to either side but something warm and potentially wonderful on the other end. “You don’t have to say yes.”

Gwen, still keeping her gaze on buttering her roll, mutters, “You could always do homework instead.”

David freezes, giving her a look because what on earth does she think she’s doing? But then Nurf lets out a small, barking huff of laughter, and the evening settles back on its axis almost tangibly, a kind of metaphysical thump that he thinks they all feel, because in an instant the air is lighter than it's been since the end of the summer.

“For what it’s worth,” Gwen says after a few minutes, “even if it’s hard, I think you’re better at handling your feelings than you think you are.” Her eyes flick over to the empty glass and the water stain on the wall. “But maybe we should also buy you a punching bag over the weekend.”

“He needs a shrink,” Gwen declares later that night, then flops back onto the bed, covering her eyes with her arms. “We can’t afford a shrink.”

David is quiet for a moment. “I could . . . get another job,” he offers finally, the waves of reluctance rolling off of him, and she flaps her hand in his direction dismissively.

“No, shut up. This is your dream. Stop being stupid.”

He catches her arm, fingers closing gently around her wrist, and kisses her knuckles. “Thank you,” he says, not even pretending to argue. “I love you.”

She rolls onto her side to face him, feeling her face heat up. “Yeah, yeah,” she mutters. “I know.”

(She’s not sure why being told she’s loved embarrasses her. She’s even less sure why it’s so difficult to say it back. Her degree could not be any more useless.)

David bundles her up in his long arms, pulling her to his chest and rolling onto his back so she’s sprawled on top of him. He kisses her nose, beaming. “It’s okay, Gwen.”

She buries her face in his chest and lets him pet her hair, lets herself be loved.

(By the time she finally gets the courage to tell him that of course she loves him -- has, in fact, been in love with him since before he offered to let her live at the camp year-round -- almost all the leaves have fallen and the air is ice-breath freezing and he laughs, not at her but with the kind of giddy joy that can’t be contained in a smile. He kisses her and wraps her in his coat and it gets dark and Nurf yells that it’s time for dinner before they’re willing to pull away enough to escape the bitter chill.)

He gets therapy, eventually. Mr. Campbell still has all that money tucked away, and when the Millers hear that he wants to put it toward bettering himself and learning from his mistakes, they’re more than willing to unfreeze his bank accounts, just this once. So when David takes Nurf to the small white-bricked building where his own infrequent therapy sessions are held, he brings Mr. Campbell along for the ride. It settles his nerves about lying, because it isn’t technically a lie; Mr. Campbell is going to counseling, he’s just not using it.

When Mr. Campbell came forward one evening and offered the idea, David was shocked by the generosity, and a little suspicious. As soon as he smoothly suggested that they kill time at, say, The Only Bar or Muffin Tops while the little tyke was in there getting his head straightened out, things became a lot clearer.

(He didn’t spend long thinking it over, though. At the end of the day, an hour a week in a darkly-lit bar or strip club isn’t much of a sacrifice.)

On non-therapy days, David continues fixing up the camp, making sure to go out of his way to ask Nurf if he wants to help.

And to his surprise he . . . does, more often than not. Even more surprising is the fact that he’s rather good at this kind of hands-on work. He’s a tinkerer, like David is, and understanding blooms warm in his chest as the camper-who-isn’t-really-a-camper-anymore settles himself among the detritus of the camp unprompted, sorting through broken and disorganized supplies with a touch that’s strangely delicate, like he’s used to accidentally -- or not-so-accidentally -- breaking things.

Nothing gets broken that autumn, though. And no dishes hit the wall, either.

(When he mentions all this to Gwen, she shrugs and says, “Sure, makes sense. He liked to help Preston and Dolph out with their theater shit sometimes, right?” and again he feels like a terrible counselor.)

It’s largely David’s responsibility to take care of Nurf, which he expected and doesn’t mind. She works full-time, after all, and Gwen has always been a bit hands-off around the campers; she’s . . . not exactly maternal, and the unusualness of their new situation makes her far more uncomfortable than him. Her support largely comes in the form of common sense, observations he’d completely miss and ideas that never occur to him. Though she has a wonderful heart, Gwen is all brain. It works well -- David isn’t all that brainy, but he’s better at throwing his heart utterly into something.

So he does, with the kind of squared-jaw hopeful determination that leaves him exhausted and unable to sleep each night, his brain running over and over with thoughts and hopes and fears and ideas, above all ideas that multiply and branch until they’re full-scale plans. Plans full of holes, plans perhaps doomed to fail, but that’s what Gwen is for, when he’s finally ready to share his plans. When the heart has hung up activities and topics of conversation and a thousand ways to get Nurf to open up, scaffolded with lunatic, reckless optimism, she listens and writes in her journal and shores up the weak spots, tugs down his excitement so that his hopes don’t rise so tall they’ll collapse in on themselves.

She’s the rope around his ankles that makes sure he won’t build something he can’t get down from, so he doesn’t have to worry about anything except building.

And what does building look like with Nurf?

Quiet, at first. For someone who can so eloquently describe his issues, he isn’t really very chatty, and most of the time they work on their respective projects in silence. (One of David’s plans, tentatively titled Get Nurf to Share More About His Day, gradually deflates under the realization that he just doesn’t like talking about his day, and pushing him to share about classes or friends is more likely than not to result in him shutting down -- or throwing something. He puts it aside for now.)

Other plans are more successful. Teach Valuable Real-Life Skills is one; he picks up on things like carpentry and plumbing with an adeptness that exceeds even David’s most extravagant hopes, and soon he’s scrambling to find more things that tap into that well of enthusiasm. Sports, Violent Video Game Nights (which Gwen largely participates in because David is a bit squeamish about such things), Hiking and Mountaineering that is so much easier with only one or two people to corral instead of a dozen, and he’s already making plans for winter: skiing and snowshoeing and maybe even snowball fights, if he can teach Nurf how to do so without getting anyone hurt.

Learn Nurf’s Languages is a trickier plan, constantly ongoing. The slight slump of his shoulders that means something went badly in school, and the way he either does or doesn’t want to talk about it based on how fidgety he is. The jutted-out jaw and sullen silence that means he’s stumped and doesn’t want to admit it, the habit of clenching and unclenching his fists when he’s trying not to get angry. The little questions and observations that seem to come out of nowhere -- “Is there enough wood for the winter?” “I think the draft is coming from QM’s store; there’s a hole near the foundation” “When will you find out who’s coming back this summer?” -- that all add up to the same thing: a kid who’s trying to figure out what their future is going to look like, and if he’ll be in it.

Whenever he’s particularly helpful, uncharacteristically so, David takes a few extra hours that day to do something fun. He doesn’t know how long any of this is going to hold together, but he wants Nurf to know in no uncertain terms that for as long as it’s his and Gwen’s decision, that answer is going to be yes.

#campcamp #camp camp roosterteeth #gwenvid #dadvid #cc nurf #cc david #cc gwen #campcamp secret santa #i'm resisting the urge to fill the tags with disparaging thoughts about my writing #that is my christmas gift to the world #forestwriting #i just love nurf so much #he's so interesting #and oddly lovable for such a troubled kid

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