#i am having trouble reaching out to my friends for comfort rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

duckymcdoorknob · 2 years

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Could I have an emergency request please? I feel like I still have to be nice about it.

Not only is a triple blow, but I’ve relapsed, another time with my eating disorder and had suicidal thoughts from family. It’s just getting so bad and loud again I’m so sorry.

Could I have Reki kyan comforting his s/o with this kind of problem?

Hell yes you can.

I’m pushing this up so far because Reki is such a comfort character and I FEEL EXACTLY AS YOU DO RN.

I’m so damn proud of you for reaching out to me. Please let me know if you need anything at all.

I love you, anon.

CW BELOW THE CUT: ED behaviors, Suic1dal Thoughts.

𝑅𝑒𝑘𝑖 𝐾𝑦𝑎𝑛

Anyone who sees you and Reki together will immediately argue that the two of you are soulmates.

You both fit like peas in a pod, mutually loving and supporting each other no matter the issue. So, when you suddenly distanced yourself from him, Reki was instantly concerned.

His attempts to keep his daily life at bay failed, for he was only worried about you and what was eating you.

Mr. Oka noticed, telling him to take a few days off. So, he hung out at Sia La Luce during the evenings. He met with his friends, mind swimming.

Langa and Miya noticed, asking him if he had been taking care of himself. Shadow noticed, offering to fight whoever Reki needed him to. Finally, Joe and Cherry noticed, the pink-haired male cutting into the thick tension.

“Reki, what could be causing you so much stress?”

“(Y/N).” He answered breathlessly, taking his head through his hands, “They’ve disappeared on me. I haven’t spoken to them in about three days, and I’m just so worried about them I-“

“I saw them yesterday.” Langa interrupted suddenly, “They were at our spot in the park last night. I tried to say hi, but they ignored me. If I’m being honest, they’re probably there again tonight.”

Reki’s eyes widened as he jumped out of his seat, immediately looking to Joe for permission.

“Go, Kiddo. I’ll keep your plate warm.” The man said, wrapping the boy in a jacket.

Reki wasted no time grabbing his own jacket, in the event that you would need one, and raced to the park on his skateboard. To his relief, you were exactly where Langa said you were.

“(Y/N)!” He called, sprinting toward you, “Sweetheart, hey, can you hear me?”

You look up at him, shivering violently with tears in your eyes. Your boyfriend carefully placed the jacket on your shoulders. He sat down on the bench next to you, “I’m here when you’re ready to talk to me, love.”

Instead of talking, you simply fell forward into his chest and let out all of your lamentations. Reki held you securely, rubbing the top of your head with one hand, and holding your waist with another. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you. It’s alright.” He whispered.

Your love held you as you finally were able to cry out all of the pent up troubles. You inevitably stained his signature yellow hoodie, but he couldn’t give two shits right now.

“Reki I-I’m… I’m so sorry,” you whimpered.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” Your boyfriend reassured you, “Keeping stuff inside will just tear you apart eventually.”

“I- I don’t.. I don’t know if im ready…” you whisper in reply.

“Then don’t be. I have as long as you need.”

After a few more minutes of quiet reassurance, you were finally ready to tell Reki of your week.

“M-My family…” you began, “They’re uh.. heh, being themselves again.”

“I see.”

“I just don’t really want to be here anymore.” You admit. “I-I hate who I am. I can’t stomach a single thing. Even the thought of eating makes me so sick. You shouldn’t be here, I don’t want you to be burdened with taking care of me.”

“(Y/N), sweetie-pie, there’s no place I’d rather be.” Reki replied with a gentle smile, “If it means that I can get you to acknowledge that how you’re feeling is okay, I’ll stay with you till infinity.”

“I want you to know first and foremost, that I love you to the moon and back. There isn’t a thing about you that I would change, and I hope that one day I can help you see that. You are the most incredible person I’ve ever met, that’s precisely why I’ve fallen so in love with you.”

“I want you here by my side until we’re both old and wrinkly, playing card games in a nursing home.” This comment got a watery chuckle out of you.

“I love you, Reki.” You replied, wiping your tears.

“I love you too, (Y/N). You’re so amazing, and I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. You’re worth so much more than you think you are, and there’s just something about you that makes me love you so much more every time I see you. It will get better, I promise you. We’re not going to be stuck here forever, the clock will continue to run.”

“Now, if you’re feeling up to it, I can ask Joe to make you something very light at Sia La Luce, so you can join us for dinner. If not, you are more than welcome to come home with me. We can watch that one video compilation of the cats that you love so much.”

Regardless of your decision for dinner, you opted to join Reki at Joe’s restaurant. You were very pleased to see everyone, especially after a very enthusiastic hug from little Miya(who promptly let go and muttered insults along the lines of “stupid slime, making me worry”).

It would be a long journey to self love and re-discovery. But, you knew in your heart that if Reki was by your side, there’s nothing that you couldn’t do.

—————♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎—————

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my-strange-attraction · 2 years

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Ok so I'm going through a bit of irrational identity questioning rn and I know it's not logical but if you could just reassure me I'd rlly appreciate it. What if I'm just, not aro? Like I'm ace for sure 100%, but I've never actually been able to differentiate romantic and platonic attraction. I even had a few times where I thought I liked someone romantically but then decided I didn't. And I know that it's hard to tell with this kind of attraction, but what if I'm just straight? Like the last time I thought I had romantic feelings for someone what if I was actually right and I've just been in love with my best guy friend for a while? I just don't know if i feel like "yayy friend<3" the same way I feel "yayy friend<3" for my best friend so I'm having a hard time figuring it out.

Sorry it's taken so long to get back!

Ok so first thing I need you to do is stop worrying about your labels. I know it's really difficult because society has hammered it so hard into our brains that we need to have a label that we will keep for the rest of our lives because it's what we intrinsically are, and especially because an aspec identity is so hard to come to terms with in the first place so you want to hold onto it with a vice grip so you don't have to be confused and alone anymore. I promise you that the spec community is still for you even if you end up in a hetero romantic and sexual relationship with a white picket fence and 2 kids. I also promise you that society is wrong about how labels work, everything about you is fluid and constantly changing, and it's ok to be aromantic one day and romantic the next. It's also ok to forego labels altogether, though it sounds like you've found a lot of comfort in your aspec labels which is perfectly fine as well.

If you think you are comfortable enough with your friend and he's not the type of person to be weirded out by the possibility of you liking him, my first piece of advice is always to communicate with the person. You can also talk with someone you are close with who you feel understands you really well but is separate from the situation and see what they have to say about your specific situation.

I think it's great that you are so introspective and questioning what you feel. However, as an introspective person myself, I know firsthand how that can get us in trouble and trap us in our own brains. Sometimes it can help to find distractions and care a little less about the situation. Situations like these usually work themselves out in the end, and it's not avoiding your problems if you've made a decent effort already to figure it out and decided you're confused. Confused is a perfectly fine and normal state of being to be in. I am almost constantly in it, despite how confident I might appear in my identities online, and if you come to terms with the idea the confusion is exciting in its own way I think that will help you out a lot.

One last thing I want to say is that it's never irrational to question your identity in any way. Everybody has doubts, constantly, and I really admire the fact that you are reaching out to my blog/ blogs like mine to get some advice in the matter. You are perfect already, don't worry about being irrational.

As always, followers can add on any advice! I hope this helps, anon :)

#ask #anon #advice #aspec #cloudy rambles

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winter-soldier-vibes · 3 years

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Hey darling ❤️ love your writing 3000 :) can u do one with Bucky x reader (they’re together) where he overhears the reader on the phone with her parents that are emotionally & verbally abusive towards her (they always have been) and the reader has to explain it all to him afterwards even tho she’s having a panic attack (bc she’s afraid bucky will leave her since she has no one else to go to ??) and bucky comforts her and reassures her that he’s gonna be there for her and like comfort fluff? I live in an emotionally abusive and manipulative household rn and I tell you your fics are like an escape for me. Even if u don’t do this thank you from the bottom of my heart :)

Hey there, I love you 3000 ❤ I am so so sorry to hear about your situation, and while I'm glad to hear that my writing is an escape for you, I want you to know that I'm here for you. No one should have to go through what you described. I hope that this can bring you some comfort but please, I encourage you to reach out to someone who can help you. My DM's are open as well, you shouldn't face this alone. I'm here for you!!!

You owe them nothing

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3200 (ish)

Warnings: emotional abuse/gaslighting, manipulation, parent issues, tears, angst, breakdown, fluff.

---------

You really tried to keep it hidden. It wasn’t something that everyone needed to know about.

Your parents loved you, at least that’s what they had said. But it was one of those things where you felt like it was for show - the kindness that they showed when you were around others faded away once you were alone with them.

You remember once they had said “of course I love you, I’m your parent!”

But that made you wonder how they would treat you if you weren’t theirs.

They were horrible to you for as long as you could remember. Gaslighting you and making you feel like you owed them something even though they were the ones who should have taken care of you.

They were around but never…there. They would be there for family dinners but they were always riddled with criticisms of grades and who you were talking to and how you dressed. All of your hobbies were seen as a waste of time, something you should only do when you had nothing else to do. School came first, naturally, but there was always something they told you you had to do before you could do anything for yourself.

Yet when you would complain about being depressed, they told you to get a hobby because you never do anything.

Tired meant lazy, energetic and passionate meant loud and annoying. When you were quiet they thought you had nothing to say, yet when you expressed your opinions you were told to shut up.

You couldn’t win.

You could never make them happy, there was always something you were doing wrong.

They thought it was their right to monitor who you talked to and saw, what you did outside of school, what sports you could join. When you would say no to the school dances or parties you would make up an excuse about not wanting to go or having work to do. Your friends would call you a buzz kill. Little did they know you would give anything to go.

Whenever you would do something wrong (or anything, period,), your parents would yell at you. They would curse you out, make you cry, only to yell at you for crying like a little bitch.

The older you got, the worse it was.

You thought when you moved out it would be better. But you had all these years of being told you were worthless and having them be your providers. When you got your own place you didn’t really have any friends, nor did you really know how to make friends. You had a job to help you get by, you could support yourself. That wasn’t the issue. You could support yourself, you always had to.

It was that you were so lonely.

You wanted friends but you were so afraid of the criticism you would get. You were afraid to make yourself known, because you were always taught that being told what to do and taught what to think was much more appealing than having your opinion.

But this was an opinionated world.

You were good at what you did, so good that you had gotten a job at S.H.I.E.L.D. You thought that would make you happy, more importantly that it would make your parents happy, but no such luck.

“I got a really great job, guys.”

“Fantastic. I guess you’re just doing so great without us,” they had snapped.

“What? I mean… this is what you wanted right? For me to get a good job?” you had said, confused.

You heard a loud sigh on the other end of the line. “Of course we do, what are you crazy about? Of course we wanted you to get a good job but you just deserted us like we were trash. Have we done nothing for you?”

You felt your heart sink in your stomach. ‘Of course you guys have, I love -”

“Don’t say what you don’t mean. If you really cared about us you’d be helping us out. You got a great job and probably have a huge paycheck that you hoard and you left us here to struggle to make ends meet.”

You took the phone away from your face temporarily to take a shaky breath. Of course they would go there with the salary, why wouldn’t they? All of your paychecks had gone to them, since it was their house and they were feeding you, leaving you with barely enough money for your car and gas and phone bills, only for them to suggest longer hours when you complained.

“I can help you guys out if you need,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

You heard an exasperated sigh on the other line again. “You really should be more grateful, you know? We raised you your entire life and then you leave us alone? You never even call us? You’re so fucking selfish.”

Then the line went dead.

You shook your head and felt tears in your eyes as you spoke to yourself. “Well maybe I would call you if it didn’t always yell at me.”

Of course, you would never say that.

See, it wasn’t so bad. You never said anything because they were only ever mean to you, which would make you uncomfortable. There were people out there that would get hit or who would have to raise themselves from a young age. Once you grew thick skin it wasn’t so bad, you were just being dramatic.

Right?

Your new job was fairly successful, you were fantastic at what you did. You did a lot of behind the scenes work, weapon repair and plans of action with missions. Not that they needed much help with that. Still, they took you in as their friends.

Well, as close as you would let them get to as friends.

It took a while before you warmed up to them. Everyone tended to keep to themselves, but not as much as you. You kept the parts of you hidden away - you were there for a job, you did it, and you did it well. You knew how to do your job but interacting with the team, making friends - you didn’t want to get emotionally attached.

Not like you knew how to make friends to begin with.

Naturally you were drawn to the quieter side of the team, once you were able to open up. They were all nice but sometimes the parties and the jokes were a bit much. You just didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing that would make you the punchline.

No one needed to know about you, or how you would spend your free time being yelled at through a phone with you trying to make it better. That wasn’t part of the job, so you shouldn’t bring it up.

It wasn’t like anyone would want to help. You were just a nuisance to everyone around you.

Right?

No one talked about their life before the team much. Not many people on the team had a great life before the Avengers first came together. Natasha or Wanda had once spoken about how this team was a family. And as much as you wanted to believe it, you helped the team. You weren’t a part of the team. So even if that were true, it didn’t include you.

At least, that was your point of view.

The team viewed you as a part of the team as much as any of them. You didn’t fight with them but you made sure everything would go as smoothly. You were kind and great at what you did, but they wished you would open up more. Of course, being a team of people who had trouble opening up, they understood.

Bucky was one of the ones who took a liking to you, mostly because he saw a lot of himself in you. He could tell there was something that you were trying to get past but weren’t quite able to yet. That there was something bothering but you wouldn’t dare say it for fear of bothering someone. You threw yourself into projects and distractions and from the way you carried yourself, he guessed you were avoiding something that you weren’t ready to work through. At least, not yet.

He knew that feeling too well.

The ex-assassin was one of the easiest for you to open up to because he didn’t expect much from interactions. Both of you were quiet and kept to yourselves that there wasn’t much pressure to share anything or say anything. You knew his past but would never bring it up unless he wanted to. Which eventually, he did. You could tell he felt pressure to be who he was before HYDRA took him, and while Steve was surprised he opened up to you first, you weren’t. Steve knew Bucky before everything, and you didn’t have that bias. He was whoever he was today regardless of who he was yesterday.

And Bucky found comfort in that.

You think you would’ve too, if you thought you deserved it enough to do the same.

See, you were worried that you were making everything worse than it really was. You worried that maybe you were being too sensitive or that what you had grown up with was normal. With everything that everyone on the team went through, a few insults from your parents was hardly anything. You were being dramatic.

There was nothing to be sad or angry about. You just had to get over yourself.

Right?

You were getting by until one night when your parents called, as they did on occasion. You were in the middle of working, so you ignored it. The phone went to voicemail before it started ringing again, and you ignored it, again. The third time you sighed and picked up your phone, turning away from your work.

You took a deep breath before you answered. “Hello?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

You closed your eyes and brought a hand to rub your head. “Well I’m doing fine, thank you, how are you?”

“Don’t give me that attitude. What the fuck are you doing? You’ve been ignoring our calls.”

You stood up to pace the floor slightly, dreading the conversation that was coming. Is it the ‘family is most important’ or the ‘where’s my money?’ speech today? “I’ve been working.”

“What, so work is more important than family now? Is that what this is? You don’t care about us?”

Family speech it is.

“Dad -”

“What if one of us was dying? Huh? Would that be important?”

“Stop it. No one is dying, and I was working. And I have more work to do, so I really have to go.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, I’m your father.”

Gaining confidence you gritted your teeth and snapped, “You know what? I’m an adult now so you can’t tell me what to do.”

There was silence on the other end of the line and you could practically hear the steam coming out of your father’s ears.

At some point Bucky had come down to your working space to check on you, seeing as it was nearly morning. He stopped in the doorway, and seeing you were busy on the phone he thought he would stop by later to give you some privacy. But he stopped when he heard you snap.

You never snap.

“Who do you think you’re talking to you ungrateful little bitch?”

“I’m talking to the people who treated me like shit my entire life and ask me for money when you wouldn’t give me the time of day for 18 fucking years.”

Even you couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. But god did it feel good to say them.

“Are you fucking serious right now? We did nothing for you? What do you think we’ve been doing your whole life? We’ve done everything we did to help you be the best person you could be. You have that job now because of us and you have no right to speak to me that way.”

You chuckled darkly as you looked up at the ceiling, unaware of Bucky’s presence behind you. “My entire life all I’ve ever wanted to do was make you guys proud of me. But you know what? I’m fucking done. You hated me, gaslighted me, and made me hate myself almost as much if not more than you seemed to hate me.”

“I did no such thing you ungrateful -”

“You were supposed to love me and care for me, and all you did was take advantage of me. I’m not your child, I’m a paycheck. I don’t owe you anything because you gave me nothing. So you know what? FUCK. YOU.”

You hung up the phone and tossed it across the room, adrenaline taking over your body as you tried to stop shaking. Because a small part of you felt bad.

But fuck did that feel amazing.

You heard a throat clear behind you and you turned around to see Bucky, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“You okay?”

You nodded nervously, rubbing the sides of your arms. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, unconvincingly. “How much, uh...how much did you -

“Enough,” he said, pushing himself off of the door frame as he crossed over to you. “Who was that?”

“Bucky, don’t, it’s really fine. I just got a little worked up.”

“Y/n,” he started, looking at you with concern. “Who were you talking to?”

“No one.”

“You don’t get upset like that at no one,” he took your hands in his. “Y/n, you're shaking.”

It was then that you realized your hands were still shaking, trying to keep the anxiety of what happened at bay.

It’s going to be so much worse now.

I can never talk to them again.

Is that a good thing? Didn’t I want that?

Bucky could sense you getting lost in your head. “Sweetheart, tell me what happened, please. I want to help you.”

You pulled your hands away from his and crossed your arms. “You can’t help me because there’s nothing wrong, okay? I handled it, it’s over. Done. nothing to worry about.”

“Y/n -”

“No really, there’s nothing you can do, okay?”

“Will you at least let me try?”

You looked at him, adrenaline starting to drain from your system. This was Bucky, your Bucky, who had never done anything but love and support you. He had never done anything to hurt you.

But what if he left you too?

You took in a sharp breath and curled in on yourself, a scared look on your face. Bucky crossed back over to you, seeing a scared look on your face.

“Hey, hey, y/n? Can you look at me?”

You brought your eyes up to meet his, feeling your chest constricting as you tried to keep your breathing even. It wasn’t working.

“I - I’m sorry, you shouldn’t… I’m fine really I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

“Hey, it’s alright, it’s okay, you have nothing to apologize for,” he pulled you in for a hug and kissed the top of your head. “Let’s go sit down, okay?’

He led you over to your bed and you leaned forward, hands on your knees and head in your hands. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s happening, this - I’m sorry, it’s so stupid, I’m so stupid.”

Bucky rubbed a hand up and down your back, hushing you. “It’s not stupid. If it’s bothering you, it’s not stupid.” Bucky took a small breath. “Do you remember all of those times after nightmares and all those panic attacks you would walk me through? How I thought I was being stupid?”

“You weren’t being stupid”

“And neither are you.”

You took some more shaky breaths as tears kept falling down your face. “You’re okay. It’s alright, I’m right here.”

Bucky let you calm down, knowing you would talk about it if you wanted to. He wanted you to talk about it so he could help you (and hurt whoever upset you) but he wouldn’t force you into telling him anything you didn’t want to.

The two of you sat in the silence, Bucky looking at you with soft eyes as you kept your face hidden.

“I haven’t told you a goddamn thing about me. You ever wonder why?”

You looked over at Bucky, eyebrows creased with slight confusion.

“They said blood was supposed to be thicker than water. That family comes first, right? I spent my whole life listening to them and following them and being the perfect kid. I made myself into everything they wanted me to be. And it still wasn’t enough for them.”

Bucky tilted his head slightly. He hadn’t known his parents much before they died but he had always wanted to have more time. But he wasn’t oblivious to the fact that not everyone had good parents.

“You know, I remember thinking that once I made it they would be happy. That if I worked hard enough or went onto do great things that they would be proud of me. That’s all I ever wanted, you know?” you said, voice wavering as you let out a bitter laugh. “But it’s not, you know? Never is, never was, never will be. All they do is take and take and no matter how good I am they’re always gonna hate me because I can’t be perfect.”

“No one’s perfect, y/n.”

“Well that’s what they want me to be. I know I can’t be perfect so I know they’ll never be happy. That they’ll call me ungrateful and selfish for succeeding and for leaving them when they never wanted me to be there to begin with.” You felt tears spill over as you wiped them away. “And I’m ust so fucking done with being a disappointment to them and to everyone else.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I don’t know,” you said softly, not really wanting to be more vulnerable.

Bucky, sensing this was a time he could push you, challenged you. “I think you do.”

You shook your head. “I didn’t want anyone to see me the way they did. I thought what they said wasn’t true but...I just thought that maybe I was overreacting. Other people have it worse you know - some people have no parents or some have it so much worse. Mine just yell at me you know? Tell me everything’s my fault and that they wish they’d never had me. That I’m ungrateful for not being with them and that I owe them. I just...I heard that for the first 18 years of my life. I didn’t need any more of it.”

“y/n, that’s…” he swallowed, trying to contain his anger. “That’s not normal. No one should have to go through that. You can’t possibly think you're a bad person.”

Your shrug was enough to tell him that you did.

“Y/n, I don’t know who your parents think they are but you don’t owe them a damn thing. You may be related to them but you have no obligation to love your parents if they treat you like that. You have every right to be angry or to hate them. It doesn’t make you a bad person to be angry with someone who hurt you.”

“But they’re my family.”

“Well they didn’t treat you like it. You have us now, you don’t need them anymore. We’re your family. And we’re not gonna leave you.”

“They didn’t leave me Bucky, I left them.”

“You can’t leave someone who was never there for you.”

----------

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treesnutsandleaveswrites · 3 years

Text

Left Behind

Pairing: The Bad Batch x Reader (Polyam)

Summary: After staying with Roland Durand, you make up with the team and head out on another mission

Warning: Angst, some fluff, ANGST, injury, Imperial!Crosshair at the end, mentions of shooting and violence, Bad Batch spoilers ig

Word Count: 2445

A/N: I’m kind of on a writing kick rn lol

pt xx, pt xxii

XXXXXXX

You woke up to the sun reaching your eye-line. It was an odd thing to wake up to. The sun barely shined into the flat Cid was letting the Batch borrow, and there was barely any sunlight on Kamino to wake you up either. You sat up in the bed and let the silk sheets pool around. If it wasn’t obvious already, you had stayed the night at Roland’s, deeming it a bit late to buy off a speeder and head back to Cid’s. Beeping came from the communicator of your armor, which made your heart skip a beat.

“Ah, kriff…” You muttered before getting up and grabbing it, “Hello?”

“Where are you?” Hunter asked with a hiss in his voice, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine… I’m still in town.”

He sighed and you could basically hear him pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, “Just… try to get back before the sun is at its highest point or else Echo is gonna reign hellfire on the city to find you.”

You nodded, “Yeah… got it.”

The communicator went dead as Roland walked in wearing a new set of clothes.

“Good morning, how did you sleep?”

You smiled while still looking at the communicator, tossing it slightly in your hands, “Like a baby…”

He observed your movements and his face fell, “Duty calls?”

You nodded, “I should go.”

“Alright… I’ll have a few of my guards escort you. Get ready, I’ll be waiting downstairs.”

“Okay…” You whispered as he walked out.

*******

You made your way out of the building and found a few guards waiting in a speeder.

“Where’s Roland?”

“Dealing with some business. He said to take you back to Cid’s.” One of them explained which caused you to nod and get into the speeder. It wasn’t long until the speeder pulled up in front of Cid’s parlor, where Hunter was talking with Echo and Wrecker. You hopped out of the speeder and waved them off before they pulled out and turned the corner.

“Ad’ika! There you are!” Wrecker grinned before picking you up into a tight hug.

“Hi, Wreck.” You smiled as he set you down and followed them inside.

Tech was sitting at the bar with Omega, showing her something on his datapad. He glanced up at you, then pulled out his blaster and aimed in your direction. The others had done so and were facing the threshold, which made you turn. Roland was standing there in one of his guard’s uniforms, holding the helmet under his arm.

“I’m not here to take your things again, don’t worry.” He said nonchalantly.

“Why are you here?” Cid wondered, leaning against the bar.

He didn’t bother to answer her as he turned his attention to you, “I had to see you were safe…”

You shook your head, “You shouldn’t be here…” You urged back into the threshold, “Please, go…”

“Lodestar…” He whispered, stopping your motions and holding your hands, “You’re welcome anytime, you know that?”

You nodded, not looking into his eyes, “I know…”

“Be careful.” He whispered, kissing your knuckles and leaving the parlor.

You stood in the threshold for a moment before making your way into the parlor.

“So you’re working for anyone now?” Cid asked maliciously.

“I didn’t do a job for him…”

“Well, then what the hell were you doing?”

“Nothing. If I did a job, I would’ve given the money to you.” You admitted, placing your helmet down.

“What did he want?”

“Nothing, he has no interest in your parlor anymore.” You murmured.

“If I catch you slipping up again, you’re out! I don’t care what these boys say!” Cid stated which caused you to nod. A hand was placed on your shoulder and you turned to see Tech.

“Darling-”

“You’re right…” You said plainly, “You shouldn’t trust me.”

“Lodestar-” Echo started.

“I… should have never left with you.”

“Don’t say that, ad’ika.” Wrecker pleaded.

“Cyare…” Hunter murmured, going up to you, “you’re struggling… with something many people struggle with. We aren’t gonna give up on you just like that…”

“Tech was drunk, and whether he likes it or not… he’s not always right.” Echo insisted.

“For once, I agree with that statement.” Tech remarked.

“Please, don’t go.” Omega whispered, “You’re our family. We need you.”

You looked at her for a moment before nodding. She hugged you tight and you hugged her back gently.

“Okay! Enough with the hugging! It’s hurting my eyes!” Cid groaned, “I guess you can stay in touch with Roland, be a double agent or somethin’.”

You smiled gently, but then Omega spoke up.

“What was with the hand kissing thing?”

“Yeah…” Hunter crossed his arms,”What was that?”

You rolled your eyes, “Nothing happened. I guess… he just has slight feelings?”

“Slight?! When we were held hostage, he couldn’t keep himself away from her!” Omega laughed.

“Omega!” You exclaimed.

“You can stay friends with him… but make sure he isn’t too comfortable.” Echo instructed.

“C’mon… you really think I’d give up the four of you for one of him? It’s gonna take more than sweet talk and a four course meal to get out of your hooks.” You crossed your arms. Wrecker laughed and scooped you into his arms.

“That’s our girl!”

All of you headed towards the Marauder and you looked around in confusion.

“Wrecker, where are you taking me?”

“Ah, we have a mission!”

“Seriously? Huh, I guess your enhancements help you recover from hangovers quicker…”

Wrecker set you down once you were all loaded into the ship.

*******

You were looking over some data on the computer while Omega was working on some wiring on Gonky and Hunter was sitting next to you, flipping his knife around.

“We’re being hailed.” Wrecker called out, “It’s from Rex!”

You all looked at each other before heading into the cockpit. Echo opened the transmission on the projector and you saw Rex in a large cloak.

“Hello, boys. Sorry to get right to it, but I could use your help.”

“What do you need, Captain?” Hunter wondered.

“I’ve received a distress signal from a clone trooper, but I’m a bit tied up at the moment to retrieve him.”

“You want us to recover a reg?”

“He’s an old friend, and he’s in trouble. I need you to get him out.”

“Out of what exactly?”

Beeping went off in the transmission, which caused Rex to get frantic, “Can’t talk right now. Sending you his signal. I’ll be in touch.” Then the transmission ended.

“What was that about?” asked Wrecker.

“The distress signal sent by CC-5576 is originating from Daro: a terrestrial planet in the Outer Rim with no known settlements or installations.

“What’s he doing all the way out there?” You wondered.

“Well, does it matter?” Echo asked.

“We’ve gone on missions before without intel, this is stretching it.”

“Rex wouldn’t ask us for help if it wasn’t urgent.” Echo insisted.

“Echo’s got a point.” Wrecker agreed.

“May I remind you that we are in the middle of a job for Cid. If we deviate, we will not be compensated. No money means no food.”

“Oh yeah, Tech’s got a point.” Wrecker said.

“But Rex’s friend is in trouble, that’s more important than getting paid.” Omega butted in.

“Well, the kids got a point.” Wrecker finalized, which caused you to chuckle.

Hunter hesitated before having a small staredown with Echo. He sighed gently, “Lodestar, what’s your say?”

You sat back, “I am ‘Lodestar the Liberator’… you already know my answer, love.”

Hunter nodded, “Fine. We’ll check things out.”

You all nodded in agreement and prepped for Daro.

*******

Tech landed the ship and you all trailed out, following Tech as he tracked the clone’s signal. You looked around, staying behind the group in case of any surprises.

“The signal is coming from here.” Tech announced, which caused Omega to go ahead and find the beacon connected to a large log.

“Found it!” She handed it to Tech.

“Where’s the reg?” Wrecker looked around. Hunter took off his helmet and looked at the ground. You crouched when you felt some uneven earth.

“Hunter… track marks.” You announced, “Fresh… maybe from last night or early this morning.”

“We’re too late… the reg’s been caught.” Hunter concluded, “He was running, then he got dragged this way.”

You all followed him as he moved further towards the mountain just nearby.

“There’s something here.” Hunter looked up at the mountain.

“You’re right. There’s something jamming my signal.”

“I thought you said there was nothing here!” Wrecker exclaimed.

“That data appears to be inaccurate.” Tech stated.

“Wrecker, you, Omega, and Lodestar head back to the ship.”

“I thought-” Omega started.

“Coming here was up for debate. This is not.” Hunter said sternly before turning to you, “I need you to help fly the ship just in case Wrecker needs to bring in heavy fire.”

You nodded and urged Omega to follow Wreck back to the Marauder. Before you went to join them, you grabbed Hunter’s helmet and bumped it with his gently.

“Be careful…”

He nodded before urging his brothers to the mountain. You watched them for a moment before heading back to the cruiser.

Omega paced in the shuttle while waiting for her brothers to come back. You were adjusting the scope on your helmet while Wrecker sat back in one of the chairs. “Meg… come here.” You called, which caused her to hesitate before she stood in front of you. You let out a small laugh and caressed her cheek, “Y’know who you remind me of?” “Who?” She asked grumpily.

“Me.” You smiled, “I was never allowed to go with the others on the field… they made sure I stayed on the ship.”

“They’ve been on so many missions, how could you stand it?”

“I trusted them and they trusted me… of course, I was worried, but they ended up coming back at the end…”

She groaned, “I’m a part of the team now! I should be a part of the action!”

“Dealing with bugs on Ord Mantell wasn’t action? Or co-piloting a shuttle?”

She sighed, “It was, but I want more!”

You chuckled, “You really are a clone at heart… always ready for the action.” You sighed and cupped her face, “But even clones your age need some preparation and training before going into big battles.”

“The clones who are younger than me look as old as Rex!”

You shook your head, “Patience, ‘Meg… there will be a time when you will lead them… right now, we wait.”

She sighed and nodded, going back to her pacing. You went back to cleaning up your armor as you all waited. Eventually, you were in the main part of the ship tending to D-5.

“Maybe let’s not leave you in the mount next time, D-5.”

“D-d-d-damaged?”

“It’s not bad, buddy. Your balance module is just out of place again, and you bent your antenna.”

You finished fixing him and set him next to Gonky, “Stay there, okay?”

“O-o-okay.”

You shook your head and spoke to yourself, “Why do I expect him to listen?”

You made your way into the cockpit, seeing Wrecker and Omega doing the same thing.

“How can you be so calm?” Omega burst at Wrecker.

“I’m recharging! I’ll be ready to go when they call!”

Suddenly, the comm channel opened, “Wrecker! Omega! Lodestar! Meet us at our location!”

Omega got into the pilot's seat with Wrecker, “We’re on our way!”

You stood behind them, hanging on to the back of the chairs.

“Focus, Omega! Stay steady!” You instructed.

“Got it! We are on approach!”

You headed towards the hatch and opened it, pulling out you blaster and stunning the troopers behind them.

“Meg! Get closer!” You called, hanging onto the threshold. Wrecker came to join you as you helped Tech and the other clone onto the ship. You heard an approaching ship.

“We’ve got incoming, 6 o’clock!” You called to Tech, who took over the ships controls.

“Wrecker, get on the gunner’s mount!” Tech ordered. You nodded to Wrecker as you shot at the incoming troopers. You hopped off the ship to help them fend off the attackers as the ship swooped out to avoid the airfighters.

“I said stay on the ship!” Hunter ordered.

“Well, do you want me to jump off the mountain and fly to them?!”

He shook his head as you helped Echo fight off some troopers.

“We’re coming back around! Be ready!” Tech announced on comms

The ship pulled up and Echo jumped onto the ship as you and Hunter shot at the troopers. You looked back to make sure he got on safe, getting hit in the arm in the process.

“Ah!” You were flung back by the blast, losing your balance.

“Lodestar!”

Tech maneuvered the ship to try and catch you, but to no avail, you were already off the platform. Hunter tried to jump for the edge of the ship to catch you, but he missed and he too fell down the cliff.

“Hunter! Lodestar!” Omega called, but Echo grabbed her and urged her into the ship.

As Hunter fell, he tried to dampen his fall by latching into the mountain with his knife, but it wouldn’t hold. He had landed just before a clearing and looked up to see where you fell.

“Lodestar!” He called, “Lodestar!”

“Multiple system failures, we can't take anymore hits!” Tech said on comms.

“Get the ship out of here! I have to find Lodestar and we’ll get back to you!”

“Negative, the odds of escape are not in your favor!”

“I’m not leaving her behind! Go Tech! That’s an order!”

He looked ahead, seeing a shuttle land multiple troopers approaching.

“No! Turn around!” Omega cried, “Hunter, tell them to come back! Order them to come back!”

“Sorry, kid… I can’t do that…” Hunter sighed before sheathing his dagger and surrendering to the troopers.

*******

Crosshair arrived with his squad and looked to the commanding officer who approached him.

“Commander, the other clones got away but we have their leader.”

“What about the other girl?”

“Troopers reported she fell off the cliff. She’s most likely dead.”

“And if she isn’t? That woman has connections all over the outer rim. Do you want the Pykes or the Hutts to be involved with our affairs?”

“N-no, sir.”

“My squad and I will find her with help from your troopers. Get a shuttle ready.” Crosshair ordered and watched as the commanding officer rushed off.

“Commander, do we really need the girl? Isn’t the leader enough?”

Crosshair sneered at his squad member, “Like I said. She has connections in the outer rim. She’s valuable. We aren’t leaving here without her.”

XXXXXXX

Taglist:

@darkangel4121 @lightning-wolffe @alucas528 @rintheemolion @shadowfoxey @butch-medusae @gabile18 @incandescentlywarm @echo-is-worth-more-than-2000 @spidercrush3

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perperam · 3 years

Note

Do you have any Harlivy fic recommendations? Preferably something that is already completed?

OH I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE

okay okay so quick little tangent fact !! I actually just finished my undergrad degree in "english literature analysis & writing" and reading fics is so fun bc I get to analyze them and break them down and if it's particularly well written the stars align and it's just UGH so good.

ratings are: E (explicit) M (mature) T (teens and up) and G (everyone) anyways here is a HUGE list of my favorite fics to date, their stats/details/plots, reasonings as to why they're on the list to begin with, and a short analysis:

SHORT STORIES (less than 30k words)

for your convenience they’re in order of length bc I’m focusing on this super hard rn

KISS YOUR BEST FRIEND CHALLENGE (T) STATS — 340 words, shenanigans, fluff PLOT — Harley, TikTok and general Social Media queen, decides to do the trending challenge to kiss your best friend. The best friend? Her roommate and the woman she’s been crushing on for fucking ever: Poison Ivy.

AM I TOO CLOSE? (CAUSE YOU FOLD INTO ME LIKE A HEART WITH A BEAT) (G) STATS — 839 words, fluff, shenanigans PLOT — Harley genuinely wasn’t looking for trouble, but it’s hard to just have a day out when you’re one of Gotham’s most wanted. Running into Ivy, she takes drastic measures (and her hoodie into the mix) to distract the police from looking in their direction.

I’M HOME (G) STATS — 892 words, domestic fluff PLOT — After a long and rough day at work, Ivy comes home to Harley. Relaying the details of her day, she basks in the comfort of her girlfriend, who provides gentle questions and is a phenomenal listener. General cuteness.

CONFLICT DIAMONDS (G) STATS — 990 words, wedding shenanigans, banter, humor PLOT — Batman and Renee Montoya respond to a break-in at a jewelry store, except even though the owner is duct-taped to the wall, it isn’t really a break-in; Harley’s just trying to shop for a ring for Ivy, and that’s difficult to do when the owner is screaming in the corner. Batman and Renee both pitch in to help pick something nice for Harley’s girl, resulting in hilarious banter.

OF COURSE (T) STATS — 1.1k words, hurt/comfort (kinda), harley quinn animated tv show centric PLOT — In the aftermath of Ivy’s death, rebirth, and the fall of Joker Tower, Harley collapses onto the ground. Since she never mentioned that her parents are the reason for most of her injuries, Ivy isn’t sure why she’s so out of it.

PERFECT MORNINGS (T) STATS — 1.1k words, domestic fluff/bliss PLOT — Ivy, who usually wakes up early and before Harley, takes a moment to look at the countless muscles, ridges, scars, and tattoos on Harley’s body as she sleeps. General cuteness.

I’D LOVE TO CHECK YOU OUT (T) STATS — 1.7k words, university au, fluff PLOT — Harley visits the library virtually every day, and it’s definitely not because she needs to work on her university courses and homework. She finally works up the courage to speak to the alluring redhead she sees there every day while absentmindedly looking at a book on sharks.

I’LL LOVE YOU IN THE MORNING (NOON, NIGHT) (T) STATS — 2.1k words, angst, hurt/comfort PLOT — A snapshot look into Ivy and how she comes to know, care, and love all the sides of Harley—from psychiatrist to criminal to girlfriend. She loves her throughout it all.

DAY-DREAMING (T) STATS — 2.2k words, shenanigans, psychiatrist Harleen PLOT — Ivy’s falling for her psychiatrist—her humorous, intelligent, caring, and downright gorgeous psychiatrist. It’s difficult, to say the least.

WHAT HAPPENS IN THEMYSCIRA (DOESN’T) STAY IN THEMYSCIRA (T) STATS — 2.3k words, humor, wedding shenanigans, angst with a happy ending PLOT — In a surprise twist of events, Harley and Ivy were drunkenly married at Themyscira. When asked at the wedding if anybody had objections to the union of Ivy and Chuck, Wonder Woman and the Queen of Themyscira herself come to object. Ivy, for lack of a better word, wants to die a little.

NOT A ROCKER CHICK (T) STATS — 3.1k words, rock band au, fluff PLOT — The last thing Ivy wants to do is go to a rock band concert with her best friend, Selina. Despite her best efforts, she can’t help but completely fall into the rhythm of the band and their music, so different than her own norm. And okay, maybe the singer (who Selina was friends with and called “Harley”) was also kinda hot...

A TENDER HEART AMONG THE GREEN (T) STATS — 3.2k words, gotham city sirens raise Lucy au, domestic bliss PLOT — Harley and Selina come back home to the apartment to find Ivy passed out asleep with Lucy cuddling into the crook of her neck and Selina’s cats cuddling her legs. Knowing that Ivy would rather be caught dead than in such a compromising situation (after all, she is the Poison Ivy, who “hates humans”) the two take a photo, since it lasts longer. Shenanigans and cuteness ensue.

BUILDING YOUR GIRL’S SECOND STORY (M) STATS — 3.3k words, university/grad school au, angst with a happy ending PLOT — Snapshots of Harley’s battle with her violent and abusive boyfriend, Jack, and the way in which Bruce, his boyfriend Clark, and her best friend (and potentially lover) Pamela all love Harley and will do anything, anything, to make sure she gets the help, care, and love she needs.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF NORMAL (T) STATS — 3.6k words, coronavirus pandemic/quarantine au, family au PLOT — Ivy is requested by the Justice League to help create and manufacture a vaccine for the COVID-19 virus. As she works on the vaccine, she video calls Harley and their daughter Lucy, both of whom miss her very much.

RABBIT IN THE GARDEN (T) STATS — 4.4k words, implied suicide attempt, hard angst PLOT — Winters are difficult to Ivy. When Harley comes home one day to see her submerged fully in water in the bathtub, the only thing Harley can do is cry and take her out. Ultimately Ivy is alright—but it doesn’t make it any easier.

WE WILL BE (EVERYTHING THAT WE’D EVER NEED) (T) STATS — 5.8k words, high school au, angst, hurt/comfort PLOT — Harley and Ivy are best friends from high school, living in the middle of Arizona. Ivy is absolutely head over heels for Harley, but the latter is in a growing and increasingly abusive relationship with the older “bad-boy” (literally) Jack. Eventually, the two grow together in more ways than one.

WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS (EXCEPT NO DOGS DIE) (M) STATS — 9.7k words, domestic bliss, no powers just botanist & psychiatrist au PLOT — After her abusive ex-boyfriend tries to maniacally tear down the front door of her apartment with an ax as her best friend, Selina, pushes the table against the splintering wood, Bruce recommends that Harley gets a dog. She gets two German Shepard brothers—Bud and Lou—who lead her one day on their walk to the most beautiful flower shop owner Harley’s ever seen. The story of Harley and Ivy, told with Bud and Lou present to witness every moment.

THE MOMENT I AWAKEN GHOSTS (T) STATS — 11.7k words, falling in love, feelings & realizations PLOT — A deep look into Ivy’s feelings and how they evolve from general hatred against Harleen the psychiatrist at Arkham to a blooming, kind and gentle love towards Harley Quinn, the crown jester of crime.

HARLEQUIN’S ISLE (T) STATS — 17.5k words, hurt/comfort, happy ending, shenanigans, humor PLOT — Harley and Ivy decide to go on a vacation on Bruce Wayne’s new eco-friendly plane, but in a surprise twist of events, things go terribly wrong, Ivy falls out of the plane, and the two (as well as all the other rich and wealthy big-name CEOS on the plane) get stranded on an island with someone actively trying to rob the investors. Harley and Ivy will fight them, god damn it, because they deserve this vacation and they will have it.

LONGER STORIES (30k words to 100k words)

YOUR LOVE (DÉJÀ VU) (G) STATS — 33k words, slow burn, mild angst, canon divergence PLOT — A what-if-Harley-found-Ivy-first fic, YOUR LOVE wonderfully illustrates Dr. Harleen Quinzel treating Ivy in a wonderfully humane and kind way, including learning floriography, the language of flowers, in order to better relate to her. Ivy is taken aback by her doctor's genuine care and begins to develop feelings, all the while Harleen falls hard and fast which wholly confuses and frightens her. The one caveat is that while this is happening, Harleen is also treating the Joker as well, who tries (keyword: tries) to manipulate her. Ivy and Harley dance a timid tango around one another as they try to navigate this new playing field of romantic feelings for one another, and things come to a breaking point when Harleen realizes that, perhaps, all of her patients have a point and that the real villains are not the ones inside the asylum, but rather the ones running it. FAVORITE DETAILS — I just love the way this is written. It provides a wonderful and almost skinny-love like romance (except this takes place in an insane asylum) as Harleen and Ivy both try to understand their strong feelings for one another. The way in which the rogues and other inmates/patients all look out for one another was very heartwarming, and Waylon and Eddie's thinly veiled camaraderie with Ivy—and her thinly veiled appreciation for it—were both lovely and created a really warm environment. It really underlined why Harley loved them because you love them too in the process, and see how she reaches her breaking point. CHARACTER DEPICTIONS — Harley, as she is in all of my favorite fics, is depicted as an incredibly intelligent and talented psychiatrist. Her caring nature is wonderfully outlined in this fic as she helps Waylon, Eddie, Ivy, and everybody else in the asylum be treated with genuine respect and care, going as far as to get them personalized gifts. Her psyche fracturing slowly never once makes her seem unintelligent to the reader, even as she actively places a ditz persona in order to fool the rest of the asylum staff (and the Joker). Ivy, on the other hand, is illustrated in a way that perfectly shows how all she genuinely needed was someone to listen. She's sometimes harsh and crass but you can see how she begins to soften as Harley helps her and treats her with: you guessed it, genuine respect. FINAL VERDICT — I would get this tattooed on my ass if I could

NOVEL LENGTH WORKS (100k+ words)

ACROSS THE WAY (M) STATS — 128.7k words, slow-burn, tattoo artist & flower shop owner au PLOT — Botanist and flower shop owner Pamela Isley moves to Gotham from Seattle in search of a new life. Her shop is located directly next to a tattoo shop—one that is incredibly loud and bothersome. Upon walking in to give the shop a piece of her mind, she meets one of the resident artsits, Harley Quinzel, and cannot get her out of her mind. The two become best friends, and feelings slowly start to develop. On a night when Harley is most vulnerable and in need of a place to escape, Pam offers her apartment as a refuge, and from that point on things are never the same again (in the best way possible). FAVORITE DETAILS — The SIT sessions were a wonderful touch and I loved seeing the recovery of both Ivy and Harley, because it was so real. I also loved how once Harley got out, she did everything in her power to protect both herself and Ivy from Jack, and we got to see her and Ivy grow into their wonderful, healthy romance. CHARACTER DEPICTIONS — I love how all of the characters are illustrated; Selina, who is the caring best friend and genuinely does her best to help others around her all the while being her cocky, usual self. Pam, who escaped Seattle and started anew in Gotham and is the crass botanist and also the insanely kind and caring lover. Barbara is the adorable coffee shop owner, Floyd is the caring figure for Harley that she never had, and everyone is just wonderful. FINAL VERDICT — literally go read this rn, what are you even doing

MAD LOVE: THE BEGINNING & MAD LOVE: THE FINAL CHAPTER (M) STATS — nearly 400k words total, angst, canon divergence, domestic fluff, slice of life PLOT — imagine YOUR LOVE except this is much longer, much more heart-wrenching, a whole lot more angsty, and Harleen's break with Harley is a lot more prevalent. Another what-if scenario of Dr. Harleen Quinzel meeting and treating the illusive Poison Ivy instead of the Joker, MAD LOVE shows an interesting depiction of the way they manipulate, hurt, care, and love one another. The entire story is riddled with well placed metaphors, recurring themes, and both Ivy and Harley's characters are illustrated in the most complex and interesting way. All throughout both the initial and the sequel, Ivy and Harleen play a metaphorical chess game in manipulation as a means to gain the upper-hand on the other, which creates a dangerous foundation for their following love story. In the sequel, "The Final Chapter," the story starts with Harley and Ivy—already married near the end of "A New Beginning"—having two kids and the entire piece spans over Harley's lifetime until she's on her deathbed, with Ivy still stuck at 33 years old beside her. I personally stopped reading the story after Harley died (I was too emotionally vulnerable to continue on) but if you continue reading on, you get to see Ivy move on and appreciate Harley's impact on her life as she finds love and happiness again after the loss of her wife. FAVORITE DETAILS — We get insight into both Ivy and Harleen's trauma, and how not everything can be fixed with love. Neither Harleen nor Ivy (or their actions for that matter) are characterized as perfect in any way, and the story never excuses any of their more-than-questionable actions; in fact they make MANY mistakes and manipulate one another throughout the story, and both have power over the other (Harleen is her psychiatrist, but Ivy could easily kill her, so emotional power over someone with immense physical power). CHARACTER DEPICTIONS — Harleen is depicted as an incredibly intelligent and capable psychiatrist, and the story somehow wonderfully mixes Harley's desire for violent chaos with Harleen's desire to help others. v Ivy is illustrated as the epitome of "I hate you and will not be nice unless you're literally either my wife or kids." She is seldom kind to others, is often crass, but an entire softy when it comes to Harleen and their children. She's a hard worker and is heavily involved in her research. Harleen, on the other hand, is equally cunning but more lighthearted, extremely athletic and active, the "fun" mom, and less into power trips (unless it's about Ivy). FINAL VERDICT — definitely the most interesting fics I've ever read in my entire fucking life, it's so complex and wonderful and a literal minefield of analysis worthy literature, I'd also get this tattooed on my ass if I could

#mryanswers #harlivy #jfc #this is a long ass post #please I spent hours on it #literally

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ray-ray-writings · 3 years

Note

UMM THIS

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMe24dvmM/

Im sorry I know you are packed and busy but can I make a request based on that video?? BECAUSE HOT DAM JUST WILBUR ENTERING LIKE

��WHAT IS THIS I HEARD ABOUT HURTING Y/N AND TOMMY ‘

LOOK AT THAT VIDEO LOOK AT IT AND TELL ME YOU ARENT SIMPING TO THAT MAN

I simply cannot tell you that because it would be untrue because I am SIMPING so hard…. Also this was way longer and had a lot more plot than I originally planned so…. There’s that lol. Hope you enjoy. (P.S. Because it’s so long, this is going to be the only post tonight, my brain is a bit fried rn lol. Have a great night everyone!)

Warnings: Mentions of very quickly losing a lot of weight, it’s brief but it’s there. As well as, manipulation from Dream. At one point the reader is like “wow it’s been three days since you hit me… Thanks Dream!” And a few swear words here and there.

Before Wilbur died, you and Wilbur were married. It absolutely broke your heart to watch the love of your life lose his mind (and then his life) for the nation that you and he created to raise and protect your boys in. But you stood by his side until the very end. You held his hand as he died and clutched his body with Phil once it was over. Ghostbur gave you somewhat of a shock. Because you’re husband was back, and he remembered you. He was the man you had married. The person he was before the presidency, before the war, before L’Manberg… You’re Wilbur was back. But you were still sad. You couldn’t hug him or kiss him like you were able to and although he seemed to be right in front of you, it felt like he couldn’t be farther away. Ghostbur can see this and decides that if he can, he really wants to try to come back to life. He tells his father and older brother about this and so they begin planning and researching. In doing this, they kind of accidentally turn a blind eye to what is happening to you and Tommy.

While those three are figuring out how to bring Wilbur back from the dead, you and Tommy are being harassed by Dream. Something else you lost when you lost Wilbur was protection from Dream. For some reason, Dream was always afraid of Wilbur. Perhaps it was his ability to always stand up for what he wanted and fight for the things he loves… Or perhaps it was because he was Techno’s brother. Doesn’t matter. Point is when you lost Wilbur you lost the protection from Dream. Dream threatens you and Tommy, trying to provoke Tommy and trick him into doing stuff so that Dream could get him in trouble and one day it finally works. Dream tells Tommy where George’s vacation house is because he knows that Tommy cannot resist checking a place out and looking through other people’s stuff. So Tommy drags Ranboo over there and while they’re there they accidentally knock over a lantern and burn some of the house and some of the chests. On the other side of the server, Dream is in your home, poking fun at you for losing your husband and telling you that it was partially your fault and just stuff like that. You didn’t react. You never could when talking to Dream. But his words stung and slashed deep, and he knew it. Finally after a while of this, Tommy comes bursting through your front door, out of breath and seemingly panicked. “What’s the matter?” You ask softly, leaving your kitchen and going to comfort your boy. Tommy is about to spill everything but when he looks up he sees Dream and immediately swallows his words. “We were playing tag… That’s all… Tag” he says. You absolutely do not believe him but you catch his gaze and know that whatever he’s done he cannot say it in front of Dream. So you decide you’ll just have to wait…. You don’t have to wait long.

“You burnt down George’s vacation home?” Dream’s deadly tone sounds from the kitchen. Your eyes widen and scan Tommy’s face and the look that overtakes him, you know it’s true. “I did not burn it down… I knocked over a lantern and a small fire broke out… I tried to repair everything, it’s fine.” Tommy insists. But Dream seems too pissed to listen to reason. “Come with me” he hisses, marching forward and snatching Tommy’s wrist tightly and marching out of the house. A small whimper left Tommy’s lips as he was pulled causing you to fly into a rage. “Let go of him!” you demand, chasing after them. Dream doesn’t listen and so you reach out and shove his shoulder causing him to stumble, let go of Tommy’s wrist and whip around to face you too. A chilling smile rests on his face, “Oh you just messed up big time.” Before you can react, he reaches out, grabs your wrist, grabs Tommy’s again and continues on down the Prime Path. You’d try to fight it but the grip on your wrist was just too strong. Dream pulls you to Tubbo and immediately jumps on the boy. He explains what happened as well as says that you assaulted him and that he wants you two exiled from L’Manberg or there will be hell to pay. Dream tells Tubbo he will start a war and will kill everyone and everything if his orders are not followed. You can tell Tubbo really doesn’t want to, but it’s something he has to do. Tubbo lets out a small sigh and nod, “Okay Dream. You win.” He murmurs, not looking at Tommy’s betrayed face. “Excellent choice, Mr. President,” the man spits out. “Tubbo” Tommy utters broken heartedly, staring at his best friend, silently begging him to say sike… It never comes. “Dream please escort Tommy and Y/N out of my country.” “With pleasure” You wrist is seized again and you’re being dragged away from your home.

After you three get out of the SMP, Dream lets go of your wrists and lets you walk for yourself. You approach Tommy and wrap a comforting arm around him. “It’s going to be okay Tommy. Everything is going to be okay.” You comfort the young boy who sighs and nods, “I just can’t believe that he would throw me under the bus like that,” Tommy murmurs. “I know kiddo. I know.” You follow Dream for a very long time until he is satisfied that you are far enough away from the rest of the SMP. “Okay, we stop here… Put your stuff in this hole,” Dream commands, digging a small hole for the two of you to throw your stuff in. You let out a scoff and roll your eyes, “No way. You’ve already forced us into exile. There’s no way we’re giving you our stuff.” Dream’s face flushed a bright red before he lurched forward and grabbed you. Putting in a headlock to where you’re back was pressed against his chest, his arm around your throat while he has a crossbow to your head. “I’ve had enough of you fucking attitude Y/N. You have no power here. I do. I’m in charge and when I say to do something, you do it. If I ask you to jump, the only thing you may ask after that is “How high?” Do you understand?” You don’t speak, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of obedience. But then the tip of the arrow digs into the side of your head causing you to let out a small pained whimper, “I said, do you understand?” he demands again. “Yes” you finally whimper out. He moves the crossbow away from your skull and lets you go and shoves you forward, stumbling into Tommy who catches you and stabilizes you. “Put your stuff in the hole… Now” he growls, not in the mood for any more ‘games’. You and Tommy share a look and then a sigh and slowly put your things in the hole like he demanded. And you could only watch as he placed TNT above it and blew up everything. All of your items that you had worked hard for… Gone in a moment. Dream leaves with a cackle. You and Tommy are just there. Shocked. Finally, after a few moments, you’re able to shake yourself out of it. “Okay… Let’s get started, there’s no time to waste.” Tommy just looks at you and then he sighs and nods. “Let’s do it then.” The two of you spend the rest of the day gathering materials and building yourself a little shelter. You were all alone… At least you were all alone with your brother.

As we all know, Dream comes back almost every day. He comes back, blows up your stuff and leaves. The first time he came back you tried to stop him… It didn’t go well. “Dream, please he just-“ He cut off your words with a harsh slap across the face. It sends you flying and leaves your head spinning. “Haven’t you learned yet? Stuff. Hole. Now.” And you have no choice but to obey. You watch with a broken heart as Tommy slowly begins to actually trust Dream and believe him when he says that no one misses him. You do your best to be there for him and convince him that it’s not true but as days go by and no one, not even your Ghostbur, you can’t help but slowly believe that they’ve forgotten about you two. As time goes on, it seems that you and Tommy fade. You lose a lot of weight. Your food source is scarce and you have to do a lot of work because you’re restarting every. single. day. You get hurt a lot easier and it takes a lot more time to recover. Every once in a while, Dream will physically hurt you. Whether it a slap or a small sword slash, he does it just to make sure you still remember who’s in charge. You just learn to take it and deal with it. It hurts, but at least it’s you and not Tommy. Ranboo visits you once and is horrified at what he sees. He’s worried about you, but knows he can do basically nothing to help you. He makes a mental note to tell someone about it back in the SMP…. And even though he has memory problems, this is one thing he cannot forget.

On the other side of the SMP, Philza, Techno, and Ghostbur have done it. They’ve cracked it. They have figured out how to bring Ghostbur back to life and to bring back Wilbur. The three make the plan and tell no one, especially not you. (Yeah…. They don’t even realize that you and Tommy aren’t around rn lol) They want to make sure this works before they tell anyone. So they do all the prep and the work and then they perform the ritual. They perform it in a cave somewhere just a little bit away from Techno’s house so that absolutely no one would know where they are or what they were doing. They begin just as nightfalls. Carefully completely each step and making sure they’re doing everything just right, knowing if they fuck up one small thing it’s over and they won’t be able to get Wilbur back. The three complete the final step and wait…. Nothing happens. “Fuck!” Techno curses, his eyes falling to the book, “We did everything right! It should have worked!” “Techno calm down, we’re all upset but at least we-” Philza doesn’t get to finish. All of the sudden a bright light floods the room. The light? It’s coming from Ghostbur. “Uhh guys?” the ghost questions in fear as he is levitated off the ground. Philza and Techno cannot look at him for fear of going blind. Ghostbur is unsure of what is happening but then the shredding pain fills his body. A scream rips from his throat as his whole form begins to physicalize. The skin begins to become real as the bones, blood, organs, and all other internal body parts forms. All memories that Ghostbur had forgotten flood Wilbur’s mind as his whole life flashes before his eyes, reminding him of everything. It only lasts a few moments more before the light fades and Wilbur is dropped from the air. His body hits the ground with an extremely harsh thump. He feels the impact and lets out a groan. His whole body is sore… But he’s there. He’s real and most importantly he’s alive. “Wilbur?” Philza asks hesitantly. Wilbur lets out another groan. The two standing men share a look before rushing to his side. They kneel beside him and gently reach out. Don’t tell anyone but tears threaten to fall from both men’s eyes, Philza and Techno’s, as their hands actually are able to touch Wilbur and they don’t go through him as if he were a ghost. They gently help him from his side to laying on his back. At the movement, Wilbur opens his eyes and is met with the tear laced ones of two of his family members. “Hey guys” he manages to croak out, “how’s it going” “Wilbur” Philza breaks, a tear streaming down his cheek before he lurches forward and wraps the boy into a warm hug. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” the older man sobs to his son. “Shhhh,” Wilbur calms his father, “It’s okay Dadza. I wanted it. You did what you had to do. It’s okay.” To the two’s surprise’s Techno’s buff arms wrap around the two and join in the hug. “It’s uhhh… it’s good to see you Wilbur” Techno grumbles, not really liking the emotion that had built up in his chest. Wilbur let out a soft laugh, “Good to see you too Tech.”

The sweet moment is broken by someone calling Techno’s name a little ways away from the cave. At first, they elect to ignore it, but then the voice calls again, this time for Philza and they can tell now that whoever it is, is panicking. So the two help Wilbur up and gently help him out of the cave. They look out over the snow and find Ranboo there, standing on Techno’s front porch. “Ranboo!” Techno calls out causing the tall boy to turn around and then run at them. “Techno! Phil!.... Is that Wilbur? Like actual real Wilbur? He’s alive?” Ranboo asks, his tone still slightly panicked. “Yes Ranboo… It’s a long story but to sum it up we managed to bring Wilbur back to life… Now why are you here and why are you panicked.” Ranboo’s eyes shift back to Wilbur and gulps, “I knew you weren’t going to like this… But now you’re really not going to like this… Dream is hurting Y/N and Tommy…” All three, especially Wilbur, snap to attention at that. “What?” Wilbur asks harshly. Ranboo gulps and nods before diving into his story. He tells them about your exile and how Dream has been treating you two, blowing up your stuff and even physically harming Y/N. He tells them that Dream has the two convinced that nobody cares about them anymore. The three go stiff at that. Have they all been so focused they really missed all of this? Well time to go right some wrongs. It is almost as if all ache and tiredness left Wilbur’s body at the thought of his spouse being hurt, especially at the hands of Dream. He straightens up and takes a few steps toward Ranboo, “Take them to us” he speaks, his tone pretty damn dark. Ranboo nods and quickly turns around and leads the three men back to the exile spot.

Back in exile, you and Tommy built a house… Logsted! It wasn’t exactly your taste, but it made Tommy happy so you lived in it together. You had woken up, actually feeling kind of good. The bruises and nicks on your face had slowly begun to heal and Dream hadn’t hit you in the past three days. You had a nice dinner last night, you and Tommy had found some chickens and made a small chicken farm a little ways away from the house so that way Dream couldn’t easily find it, but point is you had chicken for dinner… that’s what I was getting at… I’ll move on. So long story short, you were feeling good. The sun had risen and so Tommy and you were just kind of waiting for Dream to show up so you could get the daily blowing up over with. And like clockwork, he shows up, but for some reason he’s angry. For the past couple days he’d actually be pleasant to be around, greeting you asking you how you’ve been. But today was different. He slammed the door open and begins digging a hole in the middle of Logstedshire… That’s really weird. He was going to blow up the stuff inside the house? No way. But he points to the hole and you know he wants you to dump your items in. You move to the hole but don’t throw your stuff in, “Inside the house? Can we please go outside, I don’t want to ruin our hard work” wrong thing to say. A growl escapes Dream’s lips as he reaches forward and slaps you hard across the face, harder than he’s ever slapped you. It is enough to make you dizzy, but you don’t even have time to recover because his hand is in your hair, yanking it back forcing you to look at him. “You stupid bitch. You would think that after all this time, you would have learned by now… I mean you were doing so so well. But it just seems that you never learn your lesson… Guess I’ll have to teach you yet again.” And he pulls out his sword and points it at your stomach, ready to slice you again. Just as he’s about to harm you, the door swings open again and someone stumbles in. They lean against the doorframe with their hand grabbing the top of the frame. You can hear Tommy let out a gasp and you watch Dream’s eyes widen in fear. “So Dream,” an all too familiar voice calls, “What’s this about hurting Y/N and Tommy now?” And then you’re let go by Dream. You crash to the ground, fall flat on your ass, but you manage to scramble to a stand as you stare at the door frame in complete... Shock? Amazement? Fear? You can’t tell. You’re husband, Wilbur, is standing there in the flesh. Literally in the flesh. He’s alive again and you cannot believe it. “Wilbur” Dream stutters out, “You’re alive? How-” “That doesn’t matter, Dream. What matters is the fact that you’ve been hurting Y/N and Tommy… We can’t have that. So now what is going to happen is I’m going to take my family back to L’Manberg and you are never going to hurt them again,” Wilbur announces, moving ever so slightly further into the room. Seeming to have recovered just a bit from shock, Dream actually retorts, “Or what?”. Two more people enter the house and it causes Dream to blanch even further. “I think you know what… now run along.” Not wanting to risk it, Dream takes off running.

Once you’re sure he’s gone, you allow yourself to speak. “Wilbur?” You whisper out, still not sure if this is real or if you’re dreaming. Wilbur’s attention shifts to you and he completely soften. “Hello,” he greets with a soft smile on his face, taking a few steps toward you, “Have you missed me?” Deciding you don’t care if he’s real or not, you rush forward and throw yourself into his arms. You, like Philza and Techno, almost cry at the feeling of your body’s connecting. He’s here. He’s real. And he’s alive. His arms wrap around you and hold you to him so tightly, you almost can’t breathe. But you don’t care. You’re hugging your husband. You’re actually hugging your husband. “I missed you so much, Wilby. I mean we had Ghostbur but it wasn’t the same. I missed you,” you mumble into his shoulders, the tears slowly falling out of your eyes. His hand comes up and slowly pets your head, in silent comfort and reassurance.

After a few minutes you pull away slightly, “How are you-” You’re cut off by his lips pressing against your and you cannot help but melt. It has been months since his passing and this was just the absolute best feeling in the world. You kiss back with so much passion it makes your head spin, this time in a good way. It’s also probably the only time ever his brother’s didn’t fake vomit at the sight of you kissing. You only pull back to catch a breath, but right as you breathe in, Wilbur’s lips are back on yours. The process repeats a few times, before you manage to breathe out a “Will,” causing him to pull back, but leaving his forehead resting on yours and his lips just hovering above yours. “Yes my love,” he mumbles to you. “Can we go home please” you ask, not wanting to be here at Logstedshire any longer. He gives you a warn grin, leaning the inch forward and kissing you once more before giving his answer. “Of course my love. Let’s get out of here.”

#mcyt #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt drabble #wilbur soot #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot drabble #philza #technoblade #tommyinnit #ranboo #dream #tubbo #ray responds #our beloved alex8o

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kuvvydraws · 3 years

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Life for me has been utter shit - stuck with godawful lessons and a lot of tests, all the while having to worry about this group of mean girls who I offended a couple month ago and now have to constantly think about what I do because all it takes is one mistep and they go all snarky and stir up trouble by making baseless accusations - cause all it takes is one mistake to turn your best friends into utter bitches ((sorry for the language)) who constantly make it out to be that I’m always going out of my way to wind them up and harass them

And now I’m worried that if any of my other past mistakes come up that they’re going to make it out to be a big thing, and if they make it out to be a big thing then I just know it’s gonna reach the teachers who’re gonna make it reach home and then I’ll have to deal with the usual disappointment I get when I make even the smallest mistake, because everyone expects me to be this perfect little thing that cant make a single mistake, and if that happens I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna deal with it - especially if I lose my phone, as it’s like my only comfort source and tether to the things that actually make me happy.

And no I don’t mean that in terms of social media, I mainly mean that in terms of stuff like access to tumblr and my fanfiction - because as sad as it sounds they’re the only thing keeping my happy and keeping me going

I should probably talk about some of this with my counsellor, but then she’s gonna have to mention it to her superiors who’ll most likely make her tell my parents and I just don’t have the energy or will power to deal with that

So here I am, using anon on tumblr to rant at someone as sweet as you who’s probably just gonna get either super bummed out or kinda concerned which you shouldn’t be as I honestly don’t deserve anyone’s care or concern. I’m already a waste of physical space, no need to be a waste of someone’s emotional and mental energy as well.

Sorry. - 🦋anon🦋

((just to add a little bit of recognition in case I want to/need to rant again. Granted that’s good with you of course))

Alright so that's a lot, so I think I'm going to answer this under a read more and hopefully I can bring you some sort of comfort, as little as that may be

Before that tho, I know I'm not a rant/venting blog, but you guys can come do so in asks or DMS even if we never talk again. I rather lend an ear that have you with a heavy weight on your shoulders if I can help carry it.

ALSO

This is a self-deprecation free blog! Y'all are a fucking delight, and gorgeous inside and out and I'll frigging fight you if I must in order to seal that idea in your funky little brains! 🔪🔪🔪

School problems sound like a lot of stress rn (I'm guessing you're not in college yet, I don't have the facts tho), and those come in the source of social and study issues. To the later, I can only say that they will pass, they're temporary and they don't really matter that much as long as you manage the bare minimum to go on with your life plans (which is a ridiculous thing to say because I myself am 23 and I still don't know jack shit about anything, much less about life).

Your "friends", and this is the last time I call them that, are clearly not deserving of you, not only if they treat you that way but also because if you're so sure they're willing to use mistakes from the past against you, that means you kind of subconsciously understood they weren't that good to start with. To that I can only say that kind of gut feeling comes with age (I'm full of hateful advice tonight, sorry), and that those mistakes they'll make you face were things you did in the past you made being younger and less informed and "matured", and you should look at them with that gaze instead of beating yourself over them or letting them get to you (this is not easy, but you can do it 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻)

Idk how you school (again, guessing) works, but sure there is a tutor or someone you can talk with from the staff, a therapist they hire from time to time or, and I know you won't like this option, the counselor. Think of your mental health for a moment, please.

You're not a machine.

You are not a perfect thing.

You're human, and you're fallible, and weak, and you get tired, and you make mistakes. And that's okay.

And people around you have to understand that. They can't make you a puppet to satisfy their expectations because that's going to end up either burning you out or tearing you apart.

From here, and I clearly don't know all the details so please consider that too, I think you should sacrifice some of that untouchable image others have assigned on you that you use like a shield and show vulnerability, let an "authority" inform your parents that you do very much have a breaking point and you're reaching it and you need to breathe and exist for a second.

I myself got lost, quite purposefully, in reading and writing and art -and I still do- and consuming media as a source of comfort and familiarity that was, and still is, always reliable and endless.

I don't think there's a problem with that, so long as you keep it reasonable and don't get too lost in it. As we say in my country, "lo bueno, si breve, dos veces bueno" (I'll let you investigate that on your own 😉)

The main thing I get, and what I do all the time because it works for me like a clock, is a red balloon, meaning, hobbies. I like creating things -I like reading the most, honestly, but it's never as engaging as making your own stuff. Write something, draw something, it doesn't matter if you don't think it's good, or bad, or anything or everything in between. You get a distraction, you invest in something that brings you joy such as interacting (or not, that's up to your comfort level and/or want to do so) with fandoms and Tumblr, and one day, when you're feeling under the weather or in need of a break, you can look back and see the things that you have done and be proud of them despite all their little imperfections because you made them and you had a good time while doing so and they helped you get your mind off things.

Exhaustion is a thing, and a terrible one at that, and we end up feeling numb at best, and tired, and just like you can't keep going, you can't even take that infamous baby step that's just enough for some people, and you fear that if you don't make what's barely enough then how...?

That's bullshit. It real, and valid, and it's heavy as fuck and it gets to you, nests inside your very bones and drags you.

I'm not a very cheery person despite what my internet persona might suggest, quite the opposite, and I use that to keep me going.

You can't keep up or find a reason to take that baby step? Do it out of spite.

That's my answer against life itself, when everything is just too much and I cant- I can, out of spite.

NGL buddy, it ain't healthy, but it keeps you on the move until those bad days are over and suddenly you'll find yourself fighting back, standing straight (that's the only straight thing I do), and charging forward like a bull.

Don't give up, I promise time fixes everything sooner or later and good days are on your way. That's a threat.

#kuvvytalks #🦋

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drabbles-of-writing · 3 years

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So for the song Buttercup what scenes do you have in mind? As in for certain lines or just the whole thing. I might do a bit of doodling thumbnails here and there. And who knows. If I get off my lazy but I might actually make an animatic.

INFO DUMPING TIME INFO DUMPING TIME

Opening lines at basically just the introduction to beta luz & amity separately. But “all my loves wrapped in shades of red” I always saw as the moment Amity snapped and bit Boscha’s hand, spilling blood and causing a scar before they broke up.

“no holds barred in the ring” I can see something that Amity is saying as she’s facing off with Luz, possibly their first fight. Likely and explanation. “so you’ll fight me” is said by Luz, egging Amity on to throw the first punch, which she does.

“give ‘em hell, give ‘em teeth” I see as just them fighting. same fight? different fight? multiple different cuts of their fights? who knows. the “like you taught me” shows Luz wiping blood off her mouth facing up bullies from her old school, plus Amity with dark figures behind her and baring her freakishly large fangs.

“seeking thrills, getting bitey” is absolutely showing Luz doing stupid shit and Amity almost, or maybe actually, biting Luz.

“when I’m in doubt” is self-explanatory. shadowy reaching doubts from one or both sides.

“pudgy face kissing lace in the backseat” doesn’t quite fit with the ‘timeline’ or whatever this is but I could only imagine the beta lumitys first kiss, which was sitting behind a 7-11 with Amity having a split lip after the two of them fought.

“winkle toss of the coin that I can’t see” isn’t anything specific. I just really liked the aesthetic of Luz flipping a coin and the camera zooming in on it and transitioning to the next scene when the coin falls away.

“where around is enough for a family” is just. Luz hanging out with her friends like Willow & Gus, plus King & Eda.

“I don’t need you inside my head” could be Amity sneering at Luz with crossed arms, the two in a verbal argument and how Luz has done nothing but trouble since coming to Hexside, especially for little miss perfect (not) over here. Or it could be Luz having a bi panic slumped against the wall bc she just realized she has a crush on Amity and Oh God Oh Fuck.

from “growing pains splaying rain” to “understand me” I don’t have much. Luz & Amity actually getting along, maybe?

“putting words in my mouth” is the two in an actual fight, not a playfight. started as one, but Amity then started insulting Luz’s mother and taking the verbal jabs a bit too far. “trying to get free” could be Luz trying to just stand down and leave bc she’s had enough but Amity wants to continue the fight. “solid punch kind of eyes make ‘em wobbly” is when Luz finally snaps and spins around and punches Amity in the face without warning, specifically when the song says “punch.” Amity stumbles back and is clutching her bleeding and broken nose.

“gothic vine growing fire in the lobby” my mind for some reason imagined Willow pissed or maybe even scared as all hell with vines shooting out and wrapping around everything as the classroom is ablaze. she is the only one in there. maybe Boscha is there too idk.

“lighten up, buttercup, get a hobby” I can see as Boscha, Amity or Luz saying to someone (one of other three I just mentioned) w a tired snarky, annoyed look.

“yeah, swing, sucker, swing” is Luz swinging a bat at Boscha’s car when she and Amity destroyed it one night.

“finish sobbing” I always see as Amity crying and clinging tightly to Luz as shes being comforted. Was it a break? did something happen? where are they? who knows, creative liberties my dudes.

got nothing for the repetitive “she’ll be fine on her own” chief. cuts of different times of random events in the au, maybe?

“I’ll be fine, I’m alright, its my body” is Amity mad and yelling about the possibility of her teeth getting ripped out and replaced with gold ones. “gonna stick to my guns like you taught me” could be her yelling at her mother with the twins in the background fearfully glancing at each other.

“holy hell, I can tell that you hate me” is Boscha saying that at Amity after possibly wiping blood off her face. she’s clearly mildly annoyed but Amity is PISSED.

the repeat of the “ill be fine im alright its my body” lines I’m not as specific for, but with more focus on Luz, definitely. the “gonna stick to my guns like you taught me” is likely her standing up to someone or something or just fighting in general with help from Eda. and on the “holy hell, I can tell that you hate me” shes joking and laughing n friendly-mocking Amity with an arm around her shoulder n Amity is rolling her eyes but smiling.

thats all I have for it rn but BRO I am just thinkin,,,,,SM about it you have no idea. if you ever do draw anything for it, and especially if you make an animatic, I would be DELIGHTED to see it!

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bizarre-alien · 3 years

Text

Saturday Morning

I made a short Erasermic fic on Saturday, and I just wanted to post this here because why not! It takes place when they were in their 20s, and Shota is gonna do something bold after a night of clubbing with Hizashi which, apparently, didn't turn out so well!

Saturday mornings were hard sometimes. Waking up hungover while my brain tries to recollect memories of last night only makes me numb with this dull melancholic ache in my chest. I stretched out my limbs across my bed to find that I was all alone. “Shocker.” I thought to myself sarcastically. I slowly turned my body over to get my phone that was on my nightstand. To my surprise, it was hooked up and charged. “No, I was too drunk to do something this responsible.” I mumbled as I unplugged it. There were some unread messages from Yamada, and it brought this warm feeling inside that my heart seemed to crave.

“Last night was WILD! Please text me when you wake up. I need to know you lived! 😭”

“I did lay you on your side with a bucket, pukey! 🤣”

“OMG ARE YOU ALIVE?? I MISS MY BEST FRIEND!”

“I should’ve just crashed on your couch instead of taking the cab back to my place… Could’ve saved myself from stress and money… LMAOOO”

“SHOOOOOOTAAAAAAAA”

I couldn’t help but to laugh at his sweet attentiveness. He never failed to put a smile on my face even if he wasn’t around. I took a selfie and sent it to him. “I lived, bitch. 😤”

I felt my stomach shock from anticipation as I saw the ellipsis pop up. “YOU LOOK GOOD FOR A DEAD BITCH!!” The ellipsis came up again. “Also, you looked cuter than me in the shirt I let you wear. If you wanna keep it, you deserve it! I have your shirt, and it’s nice and clean! I think I’ll wear it today!”

I couldn’t help but to blush at his remark. “It’s mine now. I’ll take good care of it.” I looked down to see which shirt it was, and I gasped. It was an exclusive shirt from one of his favorite bands that he got at a live show. The exact one that he said he wanted to be buried in. “WAIT ARE YOU SURE BC I JUST SAW WHICH ONE IT WAS”

“It’s okay!! I’d rather see you wear it instead. 💖”

“... That’s very sweet…”

“How do I look? I’m going for that Shota Aizawa look. Don’t mind my lack of pants, please. 🥰🤣” His selfie nearly made me drown in affection. He looks so good in my shirt… And his legs...

“*Chef’s kiss* You rn…” Were we flirting, right now?? No. He has someone, right? “Wait… Are you flirting with me to make your so jealous? What did he do wrong, now? 🥴” The ellipsis came up, but went away… Then again… Then nothing. I began to worry. “Zashi, I’m playing. You know that, right?” The other end was radio silent, and I felt anxiety surge through me. Was it a sore topic and I didn’t know? Did I just ruin our friendship? I mean, how would that screw everything up? After all we’ve been through for the past 7 years, that couldn’t have been the final straw… right? I was pulled from my overthinking by my phone vibrating. It was Zashi calling, and I picked it up immediately. “Was that a bad thing to say? Because I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt-!”

“It’s okay, Sho!” He chuckled reassuringly to me, but I could hear the pain in his voice. “I forgot that you black out when you’re drunk… No, me and him are done. You broke his nose when I came to you crying about it. We had to leave the club because of all the drama, but no one knew who we were… Thank God, right?”

“Yeah…” I was silent for a moment as I tried to remember what happened.

“Sho! We’re leaving. Come on!” Hizashi roared as he made his way to me.

“Hold, hold, hold. What happened?” I stopped him in his tracks and grabbed his arms. “Zashi, are you okay? Where’s-?”

“Who cares? I hate him! Let’s go!”

“But you left me to blow him in the bathroom! What do you mean you hate him, now-?”

“I wish I didn’t, and I’m so sorry! He’s a monster in disguise, but I was too stupid to notice AGAIN!!” Zashi burst into tears as he held onto me tightly. We stumbled a bit, but I held him back with all I had. I feared that this was gonna happen.

“I knew there was a reason why I couldn’t stand him.”

“Baby, you got it all wrong! I love you, Hizashi! I wanna marry you!” I heard the voice of Zashi’s former lover, and the alcohol in me decided to take control of my body.

“You take another step, and you’ll regret it! Don’t think I won’t have you on the ground, you piece of garbage!”

“Sho, let’s just get out of here! I gotta go!” Hizashi pushed me towards the exit. “It’s not worth it!”

“Hizashi!” The moment he grabbed Hizashi’s arm, I went feral.

I dug my nails into his wrist to get him to let go of my best friend. “Piss off!” I roared as I got Hizashi behind me. Before I could register anything, I felt my right fist connect with his nose hard enough that it sent a shock up to my shoulder. “I knew you were trash the moment I laid eyes on you! You don’t deserve Zashi!” I wanted to go for more, but I felt a multitude of hands grasp at me and pull me towards the exit. I managed to spit on Zashi’s ex before we were escorted out of the club.

“Oh my God, Shota! That was intense!” Hizashi grabbed my shoulders and shook me. His makeup was smeared from his tears, but it made him look like an ethereal being. “You good?”

“Mmh.”

“I can’t believe you did that for me! You’re so sweet! Oh my gosh, like you- Oh, God!” He backed up as he looked at me again. “Alleyway. Alleyway!” He guided us to the alleyway and held my hair the moment I let everything out. “Oh, God. It’s on your shirt. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!” When I spat out the remains, he gently took off my soiled shirt. “You are so lucky that I have on something sexy underneath this tee! I guess this may be a sign to dress sexy for myself instead of waiting for someone to see it in private, huh?” He pulled off his band tee and handed it to me with a smile. He had on a fishnet long sleeve bodysuit with nipple coverings, and he looked like the biggest rockstar in that moment… but, that was my best friend… My best friend is the biggest rockstar and he’s holding my gross shirt.

“You’re so freaking nice, Zashi!” I began to tear up as I put on the shirt. “I’m so sorry!”

“I should be sorry! I didn’t listen to you. I just listened to his dick!” We laughed like a couple of hyenas as we took our drunken selves to our favorite place to eat when we drank our weight in booze.

“Zashi." I sighed and shook my head. "I’m so sorry."

“Thanks. It hurts, you know? He wasn’t who I thought he was. I guess… I don’t know how to pick ‘em, huh?” He tried to laugh, but he went quiet.

Never in my life did I want to reach out to him through the phone and hug him as much as I do now, but all I could do was hug him with my words. “You have a big heart and a warm presence that deserves to be honored and cherished, and he just didn’t get it. If I had the chance, I’d punch him again. You deserve so much better, and you will get that.”

“When, Shota?” There was a pause.

“When the time and place is right.” I wanted to say right now and with me, but I chickened out. “That person will love you and nurture your heart, and that person will be the most lucky human in all existence and memory.”

“I wish it were-” He paused and sighed. “I wish it happened now.”

I felt my heart jump and my mind started to race. Did he want me? Should I risk it all? Were we both too afraid of screwing up our friendship? “Hizashi…”

“Hey, do you mind if we meet up somewhere? Your place, my place, a restaurant… Anywhere, honestly! I just need to see you. Sorry if that sounds clingy. I just-”

“Of course! I would love to meet up. You’re going through a tough situation, and I’m more than happy to be there for you.” I smiled. “You can come over to my place and we can decide if we wanna go out or not.”

“That sounds good. I’ll get coffee on the way, okay? I know you need it.” He chuckled.

“You’re the best.” I sighed in relief. “I think coffee would solve a lot of problems, right now.”

“Hey, Shota?”

“Yeah?”

“I want you to know how much I value our friendship. We had rocky moments, but there isn’t a day that I’m not grateful that we smoothed things out. I can freely be myself around you, and that’s really rare nowadays because all these fakes are roaming the streets.”

“It doesn’t help that you’re well known, huh?” I joked.

“Exactly! You keep me from losing my mind… You inspire me, you encourage me, and I know I can be vulnerable with you and you wouldn't judge me for it! I just really love- Ugh... No, I should stop. I’m getting sappy.” He burst into laughter.

“Funny enough, I needed to hear that.” I blushed and rubbed that back of my neck. “Hizashi, I actually wanna talk to you about something when you get here. It’s important to me, so that’s why I wanna wait.”

“Oh, for real? I’m not in trouble, am I?”

He was so cute. “No, not at all!” I snorted.

“Good! Give me a few minutes, okay? I’ll be there in a bit.”

“In Hizashi minutes, right? I'm guessing that it'll be an hour before you get here.”

“Shut up, man! I can’t help the fact that I’m a high maintenance scatterbrain!” He whined on the other line.

“Whatever. Just get here when you get here. You know where the spare key is, so I’m gonna take a shower and clean up the place a bit.”

“Sounds good!”

“Okay, cool. See you then.”

“See you!” He sang then hung up.

I looked at my phone with a whirlwind of emotions. The comfort of his voice still in my heart, but it wrestled with the anxiety that I felt in my chest as I knew what I set myself up for. The timing seems wrong, but I was so caught up that I could care less. What if he hates me for even confessing now? Yet again, it seemed that he was dying for me to confess… I just know that this is the last Saturday morning I wanted to spend hungover by myself. I wanted to wake up to messy blond hair in my mouth, limbs entangled, and the sweet smell of his natural scent mixed with the ghost of his perfume of choice from the night before.

The feeling was so strong that I clutched my pillow for dear life, and I couldn’t tell what kind of tears were falling from my eyes. All I could do is lay there and imagine what could possibly become a reality while also fear that I could make this imagery impossible if I said the wrong things. Funny enough, this hurricane of emotion is something that I’m just observing. Somewhere deep in my core, I felt a sense of relief and peace. And it was that very peace that gave me the strength to get up and get ready for a life changing discussion with my best friend.

Thank you! Bye!

#erasermic #aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa #yamada hizashi #hizashi yamada #hizashi x shouta #maizawa

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miikrokkosmos · 4 years

Photo

A Long Work Day: Namjoon x Reader

wc: 1.5 k

genre: fluff, college!joon, librarian!reader

a request from me, to me. just some fun hcs relevant to my life rn.

a/n: hello friends. back on my namjoon bs. (jk I never got off it I was just absent im sorry). anyway this is largely self-indulgent considering I just recently started grad school on top of a new full time job and am lonely and DEAD, but if anyone else out there enjoys this too I would be endlessly happy! feel free to send in requests for any member!

_______________________________________________________________________

· Working full time was on top of your homework was draining, to say the least

· Maybe more than ever you were grateful to have Joon in your life for the support and encouragement and much-needed warmth he brought into your life. Especially after long days of working at the big library you were staffed at full of rowdy students that had to be shushed and more than one person who would fight you on overdue book fees and the like

· Needless to say you spent any downtime at work dreaming about when you’d close for the night and get to go home to your love (ew cheesy but true)

· Or even better were the rare occasions he’d have time between his own work or class schedule to drop by to surprise you with your favourite warm drink or, just as healing, your favourite warm smile

· Today was one of those days you were just longing to be home with him the most. But he unfortunately would not be getting home until after you today, as it was his evening class day

· You were having terrible cramps, it was storming out and you had gotten completely soaked on the way in, leaving you cold all throughout your shift, and to top it all off, your least favourite grouchy male supervisor was leading today

· To top it all off, you couldn’t stop stressing about how behind you were getting in homework

· When you had about an hour left to your shift, thinking you weren’t gonna make it, the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen walked into the library, aka the kim namjoon walking in in all of his oversized, cuddly cardigan glory, umbrella in one hand and starbucks in the other

· “I thought you had class tonight??” you asked, taking your favourite warm drink from his hands with almost tearful gratitude

· “it got canceled. And I know you weren’t feeling your best even before you started your long shift today, so I figured maybe a little pick-me-up was in order”

· “are you referring to yourself as the pick-me-up, or the coffee?” you joked, trying to hide the fact you were almost crying at work bc you were so happy to see your boyfriend and the fact that his first instinct when he got some much-deserved free time was to visit you Lwith your favourite coffee Lin a storm halfway through the night L((((

· those dimples

· truly something to never, ever get tired of

· “I’ll let you be the judge of that one, honey”

· you beamed up at him for maybe a second too long for his heart to handle, causing him to lean down to peck your lips only for your supervisor to loudly clear his throat behind you the second your lips made contact

· you didn’t bother to look back at your boss, knowing you’d only be met with judging eyes and possibly a lecture you were not emotionally or physically prepared to deal with right now

· “no PDA at work rule, remember?” you sweetly say to namjoon, hoping he’ll understand you don’t want to get in trouble with your supervisor tonight of all times

· he innocently smiles back at you, his pupils dilating a little more only as he leans in to your ear to quickly whisper that “we’ll just have to make up for the lost time later” before pulling away again

· he decided to do his homework at a desk nearby for your last hour. Needless to say you did more “people watching” than anything until your shift was over

· a little over an hour later and you could swear you’ve never been happier to get home

· namjoon offers to reheat the leftover fried rice you made the day before while you go get washed up and got your laundry and such ready for your morning shift the next day ://

· you still have a chill from being wet all day so when you come out in your pajama set, still shivering, joon immediately takes his cardigan off and drapes it over you which you are very very okay with

· most days, if your schedules lined up to have supper together you’d talk about the events of the day, but sometimes one or both of you was just a little too tired. Or a little too down. To discuss it all. And there was an unspoken agreement between you two to never push the other if they weren’t ready or up to discussing it all

· that was you today

· you were both good at just being a presence and silent encouragement to the other when need be

· that was namjoon for you tonight

· offering you bites of his food if he noticed you slowing in taking your own bites

· gently massaging your scalp with his free hand while you ate in comfortable silence together

· eventually you missed his voice and wanted to hear it even if you didn’t have much to conversationally offer at the moment

· “it was a long day, joon”

· his eyes opened slightly more at you with both sympathy and love

· seeing youre done eating, he moves your chair closer with one hand so he can bring your body into his side and wrap an arm around you, encouraging you to rest your head under his chin. Which you happily oblige

· “I know, baby.”

· “I don’t want to use extra energy to go through it all right now. It was just rough. You made it a lot better though.”

· You could feel him smile at that last part. Oof your heart

· “and I don’t need you to. I’m sorry it was rough. But that’s okay, you know? There’ll be a lot of better day. And probably a few worse ones. But I’ll be here through them all. And I know you’re more than capable to handle any kind of day thrown at you.”

· You smush your cheek up against his bicep cradling you, playing with the rings on his fingers. Wow his hands were so much bigger than yours. Something else you never really get tired of thinking about. His big, strong, protective hands. Anyway –

· “thanks for the coffee, joon”

· “you don’t need to thank me for –“

· “and…everything else. Thanks for being the best part of my life.”

· It was his turn now to lean down over your shoulder and hide his face in the crook of your neck

· “I’ve got a lot of love to give you, baby girl.”

· You turned around in his grasp to look him in the eye, straddling him on the uncomfortable dining room chair

· “I know you do. And I, you, my love.”

· You leaned up to sweetly and gently kiss his lips, thankfully for much longer than he managed to slip through in the library earlier

· A minute or so later you patted his cheek

· “as much as I love spending every minute possible with you, I am crampy and tired and have an opening shift in the morning, unfortunately”

· he helps you up by holding your waist as he stands

· “I’ll go get painkillers and a hot water bottle”

· you edge forward to wrap him in a tight hug, your head on his chest

· without saying anything you walk off to the bathroom to get ready for bed, leaving him to chuckle at you as he finds your hot water bottle, hoping he can blame the redness on his cheeks from the steam of the hot tap water filling the room

· he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to your cuteness but he’s very very okay with that

· you climbed into the extra cozy comforter and sheets, willing to stay awake until your joon was able to join you

· moments later he appeared in the doorway, gently laying the water bottle on your lower abdomen and bringing the covers up to your chin for you

· after cleaning himself up he effortlessly threw his shirt off and changed into gym shorts before climbing under the covers and cuddling up to your side, careful to not jostle you or the water bottle pressed against you

· you gently reached over and began stroking the back of his head, leaning down to place a quiet kiss on his forehead

· “thank you for taking care of me, joon” you squeaked out, barely above a whisper

· he took your free hand (please don’t ever stop playing with his hair omg) and brought it to his lips, leaving a gentle kiss to it

· “thank you for being the best part of MY life, baby girl. Now get some sleep. I’ll make you coffee in the morning.”

· You eventually wrapped up in each other in a way that was comfortable enough while keeping the hot water bottle in place and woke up still in each other’s arms, and you were both very, very, very okay with that

#namjoon x reader #bts fluff #bts headcanons #college joon #bts fic #my stuff #ive forgotten my writing tags gah #lemme know any thoughts on this!!!!#love u all #really #thanks for your patience life's been crazy lately #and not in the best way

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sleep3deprived · 3 years

Note

Hello there! Congratulations on reaching 100 🎉

Can i request a match up from any of the haikyuu/ jjk boys please? Whichever is easier for you❤️

She/ her

Straight

Libra

I'd say im pretty laid back and i usually just go with the flow. I'm not much of an outgoing person (unless it's something like going on a hike with family and close friends even though im not fit 💀, visiting the museum etc.) I don't make friends easily, being really awkward at first. I won't talk much unless l feel comfortable around the person. When i do get comfortable, i don't hold back on my shameless jokes and cheesy pickup lines lmao but i mean no harm.

I don't really have any interesting hobbies and passions. Although, i like photography, drawing, hiking and reading (fanfiction ofc 👀). I also like learning new things about the galaxies and what other stuff there is out there that we never heard of before. It's interesting. I don't really pick up on doing new things because i never find the time to finish it, forever procrastinating and delaying things yk. I'm always procrastinating when it comes to studying 💀 (like what im doing rn lmao). But when i do set my mind to it, I'm determined to finish it which is usually at the last minute. We work better under pressure lol

I hope this was enough info btw :P

Hi babe!! And thank you so much!!

and we love working under pressure :p i have 3 assignments due, 2 done late and i haven’t started instead doing this wtf is wrong with me.

I match you withhh...

Oikawa Toru is known to everyone as a complicated person. Not necessarily to deal with, although Iwaizumi may disagree, but hard to read.

But to Oikawa and you, your relationship is about the small things and how they matter. It’s easy to read this man when he’s your boyfriend.

Oikawa’s outgoing and extroverted nature allows you to break out of your shell and explore things you’ve never done before, and have random conversations with strangers at the train station at 2 AM.

The first time Oikawa tried talking to you, he genuinely thought you hated him because your awkwardness just wanted him away from you. How ironic now that you two will have pick-up like battles just to see which one gets flustered first.

Spoiler alert; your dirty jokes that come out of nowhere always gives you a point.

There are times Oikawa can’t comprehend how he ended up with you. You’re perfect. Everything he’s ever wanted, and if this is a dream, he never wants to wake up.

Oikawa loves those moments where you two will stay up till midnight just talking about the galaxy, and sharing your bizarre theories.

“Y/n...” You know you’re in trouble when Oikawa takes that tone with you.

“Heyyy love. How are you today? You know, I think you’re getting even more handsome by the day.” You say, an attempt of inflating his ego so that he forgets his scolding for you.

“Yeah, love, that’s not gonna work on me. You have an assignment due today, get to it.”

“Whaaat, no. I have time, it’s due in like,” You pause to look at the time on your phone, “15 hours. Besides, you shouldn’t be talking when you stayed late practicing again.”

Oikawa sighs, knowing the ending of this argument. Alas, you two were the only one who can get the other to do what needed to be done.

“Fine, I won’t stay late practicing this week only if, you don’t procrastinate your work this week.”

You pretend to think about the offer “Okay, deal,”

“but we have to watch this new space documentary I found, together.”

It’s moments like these, Oikawa realizes, he’ll walk to the ends of the stars, all for you. “Anything for you.”

#haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyuu oikawa #Oikawa Toru #oikawa match-up #rose matchup #rayah’s 100 follower event #Bday event #rayahs pennies 💖

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strawberriestyles · 4 years

Text

Chapter 11

(Banner made by sweet sunshine @harry-nofookingway-styles)

Harry X OFC (AU)

Sequel to Brutality: In which Melody and Harry must relearn how to navigate one another among a flurry of changes.

Read previous parts here.

Author’s note: Heyyyyyaaaaaaa. I’m going to be honest with y’all. I have not been working on this story like I should have since I started posting. That being said, I do have a few more chapters completed but then things get a littleeeeee fuzzy bc I’ve been slacking. I’m going to try to keep up with the posting schedule I have rn, but if that doesn’t work out, please forgive me. I may need to pause for a few weeks to stack up some more chapters. BUT CROSS YOUR FINGERS I GET MY SHIT TOGETHER. As always, please like and reblog and leave me an ask if you can. :’) When you’re done reading, I would love for you guys to go find a petition you haven’t signed yet. All of my love. Xx

Melody still had nightmares. Horrible ones. Awful, haunting dreams that pressed at the edges of reality, blurring lines between sleeping and waking. But they somehow became less constant and more bearable within the next few weeks. Whether it was due to Harry’s constant, tender touches as she fell asleep every night, or to the ugly, unartistic paintings and incoherent writing she’d forced out, there were no clues. She thought Harry deserved the credit, but he thought it could be a mix of both.

Early snow dusted the city like powdered sugar, lightly enough to look pretty without making traffic a mess. Melody felt the cold dampen her mood, but Harry only seemed to brighten at the prospect of a blizzard warning. Snow dazzled him. Despite everything he’d experienced in his relatively short life, somehow winter had always remained a sort of sanctuary for him. And he’d softened himself toward everyone as a result.

“Ugh, do I have to go?” Melody asked aloud when she reentered the bedroom to find him laid out on her bed. He looked so cozy and warm in a pair of sweats with his hair mussed atop his head. She bent over him to plant a chaste kiss to his lips.

“No,” Harry said, “yeh don’.”

She smiled ruefully and stole another soft kiss from him. “Yes, I do.”

“Yeh don’ have to. Could stay here with me.”

“Harry.” Melody accepted his return kisses as he sat himself up, swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress.

“Melody.” He ran a thumb over the curve of her chin and sighed.

“I need to go. Please, be nice to Bea.”

“Always am.”

“Sure you are.” She pressed her lips to his one final time and let them linger a few moments too long, until she felt his fingers sneaking around the back of her neck. If she let him touch her too much she’d end up late to her own match. “Okay, I’m leaving,” she insisted as she backed away. “I’m going. Bye.”

Harry watched her slip out of the room, collecting her gym bag on the way. He was relieved that she hadn’t told him she loved him. Every time he heard the words on her tongue he felt his very organs shift, felt them contort and fold in on themselves. He would never, ever tell her the way it made him feel, but he hoped that eventually, when he still wasn’t saying it back, she might just let the sentiment die. Wishful thinking, perhaps.

“Let’s go, Harry!” Bea called from the living room.

He sighed as he rose to his feet and lumbered out of the bedroom, his cane clicking on the hardwood. The door to the apartment closed before he made it past the threshold of the room. It was only him and Bea left. There was still an awkward air between them, but it was beginning to thin. Harry thought it was because of his help with Melody’s nightmares. He didn’t like the idea that Bea had ever thought he’d be useless in a situation like that. He didn’t like that doing the bare minimum to comfort Melody had somehow made Bea more open to him.

“You don’t look enthused.”

“I don’ like to bullshit,” Harry responded.

Bea grinned. She patted the cushion beside her and waited for him to sit. She didn’t seem bothered that he sat farther from her than necessary.

“Aren’t you wondering what we’re gonna watch?” Bea asked.

Harry shrugged. “Not really.”

“What if I picked a chick flick?”

“Then I’d just fall asleep.”

“You’re not falling asleep tonight,” Bea stated. “We’re watching The Silence of the Lambs.”

Harry’s lack of reaction seemed to deflate her. She clicked a button on the remote and the opening credits of the film began to roll.

“I have no clue how you’re with someone who writes and paints,” Bea murmured.

“If yeh figure it out, let me know.”

The pair lapsed into silence as the movie started. And didn’t even exchange a glance when Queenie appeared, curling up on the cushion between them.

Bea paused after a bit to take a call from Josie and microwave a bag of popcorn, and when she returned she found her cat sprawled across Harry’s lap, purring loudly, much to Harry’s chagrin. She had to consciously stop herself from spitting out laughter. Instead, she sat back in her seat and slid the bowl of popcorn into the spot that Queenie had abandoned.

***

“That was fucked up,” Harry eventually said, when the end credits of the movie had been rolling for a few minutes.

“Yes.”

“He wore the guy’s face.”

“He eats people. I feel like that’s the more fucked up of the two.”

Harry shook his limbs, as though he could expel the disturbing parts of the movie from his memory. Queenie, who hadn’t moved since she settled into his lap, took unkindly to his movement, stretched to the floor, and bounded into Bea’s bedroom.

“Glad Melody didn’t watch this one.”

Bea drew in a deep breath and shook her head. “Melody loves scary movies,” she informed him. "But that’s because she knows they’re not real. She’s not—It’s different when you live it, right?”

Harry fell silent. Whether she agreed or not, he was the one that had dragged Melody into a horror film of her own. Now she could barely sleep in her own bed because of his brother. And he didn’t know how else he could help, how else he could ward off the monsters.

“Speak of the devil,” Bea said as she caught sight of Harry’s phone, where it buzzed on the coffee table. “Mel” was spelled across the screen. Harry leaned forward to answer the call and bring the phone to his ear.

“Hi.”

“Hey, man.”

Sean’s voice sounded muffled and uneasy. Harry felt himself stiffen almost immediately, and his body language conveyed something to Bea. She unfolded her legs to place her feet flat on the floorboards.

“Wha’s wrong?”

“Why does something have to be wrong?”

“Because yeh’re callin’ me from Melody’s phone and yeh sound like yeh’re about to get in trouble. Don’ fuck with me.”

There was a brief hiccup of a chuckle on the other end of the line. It was a nervous sound. Harry didn’t like it one bit.

“Uh, she lost her match.” Sean cleared his throat before he went on. “She’s about to get an X-ray of her torso done right now. I’m sure it’s just—”

“Fuckin’ Christ, Sean! Yeh could’ve led with that.” Harry was already on his feet, reaching for the arm of the sofa to keep his balance when he realized he was forgetting his cane. He doubled back and waved off Bea’s desperate vie for information.

“She’s probably fine!” Sean defended. “I don’t think she broke anything or she would’ve been a little more hysterical.”

“For fuck’s sake. I’ll be there in fifteen.”

Harry hung up before Sean could respond. “She’s gettin’ X-rays at the hospital,” he spat at Bea, who was following him around and demanding to know what was going on. “Might have a broken rib or somethin’.”

So much for this strange bonding experience that Melody had insisted on. It felt more like something sorority sisters might do on the weekends than anything else, anyway. And Harry didn’t wait for Bea as he hobbled down the complex stairs, struggling into a jacket while supporting himself with his cane. But somehow she ended up in the cab with him, and their mutual silence felt unifying.

***

“Floor two,” the woman at the lobby’s desk said. Harry was already crossing to the elevators, so she nearly shouted the room number to him. Bea, despite being in perfect health, had to rush to keep up with him. Her curls bounced with every hurried step.

“Harry, I’m sure she’s okay.” She tugged the zipper down on her jacket as they waited for an elevator and tried to catch her breath. This felt like exercise, and Bea hated exercise. “Not that you shouldn’t be worried,” she continued, “but don’t act like she’s on the brink of death. She’s used to injuries.”

Harry snorted humorlessly. Melody didn’t know what injuries were. She told him once that she’d never been to the hospital for herself. It was always a cousin giving birth or her father getting stitches. She had never split her skin open far enough to get stitched up herself, or been hit so hard that her insides were bleeding, or snapped a bone.

There was a musical ding as an elevator reached the ground floor. Harry didn’t wait for the family on it to exit before he shouldered past them and jammed his thumb into the button for the second story. Bea was more patient. She allowed everyone out before she stepped in beside Harry and watched him smash the button to close the elevator doors. It was almost endearing to see him so concerned, but it was also too intense for her tastes.

There was no elevator music to lull the pair of them. They waited in silence until they reached the floor that Melody was on and then navigated through the halls quickly until they found the correct room number. Sean was just inside the door.

“Ah, I thought you’d gotten lost or—”

“Fuck you,” Harry snapped as he stepped past his friend. Melody was laying in a hospital bed. This setting was so familiar to Harry, but with the roles reversed, it felt like he was having a nightmare of his own.

“You don’t have to be rude to him, you know,” Melody muttered.

She had an awful, swelling bruise on her forehead, so close to her temple that it could’ve made Harry sick. She was in a sports bra, and for the first time he noticed Vanessa, who was meticulously wrapping up Melody’s ribcage.

“‘S not broken?” was the first thing Harry said.

“No,” Vanessa answered.

“Bruised.” Sean took a step forward, trying to insert himself back into the conversation that he had been ejected from. “She was doing really well and then—”

“I don’ wanna hear from you,” Harry interrupted. Melody rolled her eyes. Sean sighed.

“Fine, I guess I’ll go home,” he said. “I’ll let Goodman know you’re out for at least a month.”

Melody’s eyes widened and when she moved, the pressure on her ribs made her flinch. “A month?”

“At least,” Sean repeated.

“It’s a bruise.”

“‘S a bruised rib, Melody,” Harry snapped.

Sean left without any goodbyes. Bea leaned up against the wall where he’d been standing and lifted an eyebrow. “Thought you had defenses like a brick wall,” she teased.

“Shut up,” Melody mumbled as Vanessa finished her work. The room fell silent.

“Do you want some ice for your face?” Vanessa asked eventually, when Melody had been avoiding everyone’s eyes and the rest of them were sick of looking at each other.

“No, I can just—”

“Yes, she’ll take some ice,” Harry cut in.

“You tend to interrupt people,” Melody informed him. She laid back gently against the pillows that had been propped up behind her. “Have you noticed?”

Bea snorted. “Pretty sure he does it on purpose,” she said before wandering out of the room. Vanessa glanced between Harry and Melody and then followed Bea. The tension that had already filled the air seemed to thicken, settling over the two of them like an unnavigable fog. Harry sliced through it first.

“This is why I don’ want yeh fighting,” he said.

“You’re such a hypocrite, Harry,” she muttered. Then her voice rose. “If you were still in the ring you’d be getting injured, too. And I—”

Harry ignored the sting that he felt, the knowledge that he couldn’t box in his current condition. What if she wasn’t able to write? These days it seemed just that she didn’t want to, but if she wasn’t able to, wouldn’t she feel this same sort of despair? “Mel, yeh bruised your fuckin’ rib.” He took a step further into the room. “A little more pressure and it breaks. A little less luck and it punctures a fuckin’ lung and yeh’re chokin’ on blood. These are not just injuries. Yeh didn’ just fall off a bike and scrape your knee.”

Melody paused. She didn’t know how to respond. That sounded like her own fears spit back in her face. A half inch to the left and that bullet would’ve killed you.

“Are you going to keep yelling?”

“‘M not fuckin’ yelling. Do yeh want me to yell?” Harry’s brows knitted together and he shook his head. “What did yeh expect, me to lay down next to yeh and tell yeh ‘m so glad yeh’re okay? ‘S not happenin’. Think I’ve made my feelings pretty clear when it comes to this.”

“Actually, I didn’t expect anything. I didn’t want to call you.” Melody licked her lips as she studied the anger etched into the lines of Harry’s face, and then the minuscule shift as he realized that Sean was on his side. At least in this moment. “It comes with being a boxer,” she said after a pause. “You told me that once.”

Harry sighed. “Yeh’re not a fuckin’ boxer, Mel. Yeh’re a writer. Yeh’re a painter.”

“I can be whatever the fuck I want to be, Harry. And you’re not going to tell me what that is.”

His features hardened for a moment and then he glanced out the window. There was snow falling, slowly and gently, without the force of the brutal wind that would arrive in the coming weeks. It was so peaceful out there, and Harry wondered how he’d let himself become so resentful.

He stared outside for a few long minutes and then let his eyes wander back to Melody, who was already picking absentmindedly at the wrappings of her ribcage. His legs were growing weary and he was on the verge of needing to sit. Melody glanced up when she felt the weight of his gaze.

“Can we go home now?” she asked, and her voice was so soft, so at odds with the way she’d spoken her last sentence, that Harry could feel himself physically jarred by the shift.

“I can’ help yeh walk,” he said, though the words tasted like acid. “Yeh’re gonna need Bea and I dunno where she went off to.”

Melody chewed on her lower lip. She felt guilty for the short argument they’d had, and she could see that same feeling reflected back at her. The match had tired her out, her bruised rib hurt with every expansive breath. In vain, tears began to collect at the corners of her reddening eyes.

“Don’,” Harry said, taking a shaky step forward. He could sense the shift even before he saw her chin trembling. “Please, don’.”

“I’m not, I’m not,” she murmured, pressing her fingers to her eyelids, as if they could keep the water back like a dam. “Uh, how was the movie?”

“It was good,” Harry assured her, surprising himself. He hadn’t known that he enjoyed it until then, when he was put on the spot. Bea appeared like she’d been summoned.

“I heard that!” she nearly shouted. “He liked it!” Then her eyes fell to Melody and her snide grin tipped into a frown. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying,” Melody said with a discrete sniffle. “Can someone ask Vanessa if we can leave?”

“She said you just need to take it easy for a few weeks.” Bea shuffled past Harry and pried Melody’s hands from her face. “Which means no training.”

“Perfect,” Melody mumbled. She allowed Bea to begin shifting her out of the bed, gently twisting her limbs, trying not to tweak her rib. Harry had to lower himself into the chair a few feet from where he had been standing to give his legs some relief.

“The wraps are just for you to get home.” Bea paused as Melody bit back a whimper, waiting for her to straighten her torso. “And she’s hooking you up with some pain meds.”

“Yeh’ll need ‘em,” Harry muttered. He stood back up as the girls made their way toward the door. They were a conspicuous group, with a cane, a wrapped ribcage, and shuffling footsteps. Eyes followed them through the halls, all the way to a cab.

***

Melody’s lips grew white as Harry helped her out of her wrappings. She screwed her eyes shut and her fingertips curled into his knee.

“Okay,” he whispered as he tugged the final loop of fabric loose, leaving her skin bare. The sight of her flesh made him hiss. “Who the fuck hit yeh, the Hulk?”

“Mmm.”

Harry pressed a hand to her cheek. Her skin was hot, damp, and he could feel her jaw twitching, like she might be grinding her teeth. Her breathing was shallow.

“Let’s get yeh some o’ those painkillers, yeah?”

“No, I’m okay,” she whispered, though her voice shook.

“Mel.” He pressed a kiss to one of her closed eyes. “I’ve had a bruised rib before.”

She didn’t respond. He heard her try to take a deeper breath and then felt her neck quiver beneath his fingertips. She shook with the effort of stifling a cough.

“Don’ do that.” He pressed her backward and she gasped, clinging to his arm and letting out an agonized sob at the sharp intake of breath. “‘M sorry,” he rushed. “Love, ‘m sorry. Just sit back for me.”

She let him lower her away from him, eyes still squeezed shut and chin beginning to tremble like it had in the hospital. Her eyelashes were wet and Harry touched his forehead to hers. “Okay?”

“No.”

He let out a short huff of acknowledgment and then lifted the pillow from beside them, holding it tenderly to her chest as he leaned back. “If yeh need to cough just hold this to your chest. ’S still gonna hurt but it’ll be better.”

There was a pause before she wrapped her arms around the pillow and sputtered out a few gentle coughs. Her eyelids fluttered, nails biting into her palms, lips curling into her mouth.

“Melody, yeh don’ have to pretend yeh’re not in fuckin’ pain,” Harry told her, pressing a hard kiss to her cheekbone. He brushed hair away from her forehead, carefully avoiding her bruise, and then used his thumb to pry her lips back into place before kissing them. “Not on my account. ‘M sorry I got angry. I don’ want yeh to fight. But if yeh’re hurtin’ like this ‘m not just gonna tell yeh to suck it up.”

Harry stroked her ear and her tensed facial muscles began to relax. Her lips parted. She opened her eyes to glance up at him and almost immediately let them fall closed again as she began to cry.

“Okay, okay,” he mumbled. He didn’t know whether it was for her or for himself. And he didn’t know if her tears were solely from the pain or for another reason entirely.

The mattress shifted despite his best efforts as Harry climbed off the bed. He hurried into the kitchen, gathering Melody’s prescription, a glass of water, and an ice pack. He almost didn’t even realize he’d forgotten his cane until he was laying himself down beside Melody, who had pulled the pillow up to cover the bottom half of her face, stifling her shallow sobs. But this wasn’t a moment to celebrate.

“All right, love, take some o’ these.” He shook out a few pills and reached across her for the glass he’d put on the night table. She lowered the pillow enough to toss the meds back and swallow a gulp of water, but Harry had to tug it from her grip so he could position the ice atop her angry, swelling bruise. Somehow, he’d finagled her bra over her head before attempting to unwrap her, and her breasts erupted in goosebumps at the cold touch.

“It fucking hurts,” she whimpered out.

“I know, I know.” Harry settled his hand over the ice pack, pressing his lips to Melody’s shoulder. “Give the pills a little bit o’ time.”

He fell silent and stroked her wrist with his free hand until her tears began to ebb. The clock read one in the morning. Bea had gone to bed as soon as they’d gotten home because she needed to work on a group project the next morning. Harry was beginning to feel tired himself, and he couldn’t imagine how exhausted Melody was.

“Just one problem after another,” he finally said. “Just can’ seem to catch a break, can we?”

“Wouldn’t life be so boring?”

He chuckled against her skin. “Just a little break would be nice, though.”

Melody didn’t respond. Her shallow breathing was beginning to slow. Harry kissed her cheek to check that she was truly asleep before he removed the ice pack from her side and very carefully covered her with the sheets. And he hoped that the rest of her healing would pass more smoothly than this first night.

Chapter 12

#harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles drabble #harry styles series #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x ofc #boxer!harry #boxer!au #harry styles au #harry styles ferocity

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yojangjun · 4 years

Photo

Friends-to-lovers!au | sungyoon

Word count: ~3.5k

Summary: where you fall head over heels in love with your best friend, choi sungyoon, and jangjun secretly becomes your wingman.

Note: I saw that theres a lack of golden child stories on here, so I wanted to change that! This is my first time posting an au on tumblr, so hopefully it turns out fine. Feel free to send in requests for any other aus you want to see from the golden child members. Enjoy!

12:39 AM

Y/N: sungyoon

Y/N: sungyoon ah

Y/N: hellooooo

12:45 AM

Y/N: sungyoon

Y/N: okay fine dont answer me

Y/N: :(

Y/N: meanie

12:51 AM

Y/N: choi

Y/N: sung

Y/N: yoon

Y/N: !!!!!!

🐰: do uk what time it is rn

Y/N: you finally answered!!!

Y/N: i cant sleep

🐰: just close your eyes

Y/N: if it was that easy I wouldn’t msg u :’(

🐰: we have class at 8 tmr

🐰: count sheep or bunnies or something

🐰: goodnight

Y/N: i finally got a reply and you’re leaving already??

Y/N: hey! did you really go back to sleep?

12:59 AM

Y/N: fine

Y/N: so much for a best friend

Y/N: who wont help you sleep

Y/N: so mean :(((

Y/N: im only buying ice cream for daeyeol now

1:12 AM

🐰 has sent you a voice message

1:14 AM

Incoming call: 🐰mr rabbit csy🐰

You jump from your bed, “Hello?”

“Come outside.”

You quickly throw on a hoodie on and rush outside, your eyes adjusting to the darkness of the night. Your eyes don’t have to wander for long before landing on a raven haired male, his hoodie flopped over his messy hair. He looks disgruntled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he lets out a yawn. Oops, you definitely woke him up.

You quickly walk up to him, and before you can greet him, are met with a plastic bag offered to you.

“I bought your favorite— green tea flavored.” Your eyes widen before rustling through the contents, pulling out said ice cream.

“Yah, you bought ice cream at this time?” You rip open the wrapper, taking a huge bite of the creamy treat and sigh with delight, “Did you really feel threatened by me buying ice cream for Daeyeol? I was kidding! Well, actually if he asked I probably would, but wow I actually managed to get you to buy me ice cream.”

He ignores you, watching silently as you quickly devour the dessert before pulling out a napkin once he notices the mess that you’ve made on your face.

“Hey!” You whine as he wipes at the corners of your mouth. You try not to lean into the warmth of his touch that you feel even through the napkin; it’s a crisp night after all. You will your cheeks to not grow warm, but your ears quickly glow red instead.

“You’re so messy,” he sighs, finally pulling away and taking note of how you’re unusually quiet. Usually, you would playfully push his hand away, complaining that you weren’t a baby, but your head is turned away, eyes downcast at your shoes. You can see that he’s trying to meet your eyes, but you can’t look at him, not with your heart pounding a mile a minute, nervous and slightly embarrassed.

Pat. You look up as his hand rubs the top of your hair gently, carefully caressing your head through your locks.

“Are you nervous because of the presentation tomorrow? Is that why you can’t sleep?” He muses softly, eyes still trying to meet yours. You grow shy, extremely shy, but shift your eyes to meet his for a brief second before looking away. His eyes dripped of warm honey, enveloping you in a feeling only he could ever have on you.

Seeing you avert your eyes, he takes that as a yes, and brings you closer to him by a tug of the arm. You squeak in surprise, suddenly finding yourself enveloped in his arms. Warmness spreads through your body like a blazing fire, now being fueled by the beating of your heart.

The things you do to me, you think as your arms slowly wrap around his waist, hugging him back. You take in his scent, a scent you’ve come to recognize as familiar and comforting, ever since you met him freshman year.

“I know you have a lot of stage anxiety, but you’ve gotten so much better at public speaking. You’ll do great tomorrow, don’t worry.” Even his voice is warm, his comforting words becoming even more meaningful.

Stage fright was the last thing on your mind at the current moment, but he didn’t have to know that.

If you don’t let me go soon, my heart’s going to explode.

Instead, you nod, allowing yourself to rest your head against his chest. You can feel his heartbeat through his hoodie; a tiny voice in the back of your mind wonders if you have the same effect on him that he has on you.

You stay like that for a while, his arms bringing you closer when you shiver from an incoming breeze.

You wish you could stay like this forever, but you now realize how late it must be, and he’s right, you do have a presentation tomorrow morning, and you do suffer from stage fright still.

“Ah thanks. I’m fine now, I swear,” you start blabbering, reluctantly pulling away from his embrace. You suddenly feel bad; you made him get out of bed for no reason, and he brought you ice cream, “Sorry for troubling you, Sungyoon-ah.”

He sees a pout forming on your face, and he studies you closely.

“I’m your best friend, Y/N, isn’t it my job to make you feel better,” he tilts his head, but doesn’t question you further as you widen the gap between the two of you.

You stare at him blankly before finally smiling at his words, “Sorry, you’re right. I guess the nerves are keeping me awake. But I do feel better now! Thanks for coming, and ah- for the ice cream! I swear I won’t buy any for Daeyeol, only for you, since it seems to bother you so much,” you try to tease him in an attempt to lighten up the mood.

He smiles back, relieved that you seem to be acting normal again. Little did he know, his smile was making your stomach do summersaults, but you tried to push past it as he let out a chuckle.

“Go get some rest, okay? You have a big day ahead,” he ruffles your hair, laughing as you swat his hand away.

“My hair,” you whine, but nevertheless, grin back at him.

“Bye, Sungyoon-ah!””

“Bye Y/N, make sure to wake up on time.”

He waits until you reach the door of your building before turning around and heading back in the direction of his dorm.

As you enter your room, you immediately fling yourself onto your bed and scream into your pillow, kicking your legs.

“Can my heart not do that for once,” you whine, settling on your side as you hug a pillow to your chest.

You allow a smile to spread across your face after a while, cheeks once again flushing red as you remember the feeling of him embracing you.

“I wonder if you feel the same way I feel about you?”

You didn’t know when it had happened, but somewhere along the way, you had fallen in love with your best friend.

---------------

“Y/N!!” You turn around at the sound of your name, yelping as someone jumps on you, almost making you lose your balance.

“Jangjun!” You shove him off of you as he laughs. You turn around and see Donghyun and Joochan following close behind, concentrating on their phones as they play Kart Rider probably. You stare at them for a bit before messing with their phones, randomly touching their screens. They complain in unison, swatting your hands away as you chuckle.

“Did you just get out of class, Y/N?” Jangjun bounces from foot to foot, looking as happy as ever. You shake your head.

“I got out a while ago. I’m just waiting for Sungyoon to get out of class. I promised him I’d buy him ice cream-”

“What, you never buy us ice cream,” Joochan cuts in, finally looking up from his phone as Donghyun shouts in victory.

“Do you want to come with? I’m sure Sungyoon wouldn’t mind,” Joochan quickly shakes his head, holding his hands up.

“I don’t want to be a third wheel on your date, but thanks though,” You sputter at his words, heat quickly rising to your cheeks. Jangjun bursts out laughing at the look on your face, and it takes all your willpower to not punch him.

“D-Date? Sungyoon and I aren’t like that,” You finally manage to say, but your ears are still burning in embarrassment. The three boys look at you expectantly and you grow even more self-conscious, holding your hands up in defense, “Why are you all staring at me like that? It’s true!”

“Anyway, are you going to the fireworks display tonight? I heard it’s going to be really nice. Our school really went all out planning the event!” Jangjun asks, his tone still teasing. You sigh in defeat, but are grateful for the topic change.

“Oh, was that tonight?” You think about the number of assignments you have piled up and grimace, “I don’t know, I kind of got a lot of work to do-”

Jangjun quickly waves you off, “Nonsense! You need to relax once in a while, Y/N.”

As you’re forming a reply, his eyes focus on something behind you and an evil grin appears on his face.

“Oh! Sungyoon hyung, great timing! Y/N is dying to go to the firework display tonight!” Your eyes widen in horror as you realize who exactly Jangjun spotted behind you, “She’s too scared to go alone though, so she wants you to-”

“Lee Jangjun, I swear, I will end you-” You try to whisper threateningly, but he pays you no mind as he waves at who you now know is Sungyoon, finally coming out of his class. Both Joochan and Donghyun are laughing hysterically behind Jangjun, and in that moment, you’ve never wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole more.

“Hm?” You turn your head as Sungyoon comes to stand next to you. You simply gape at him, at a loss for words as he turns in his head to you curiously, “You wanted to go to that?”

“I- uh, well,” You try your best to muster up an answer, but to no avail. Curse you, Lee Jangjun!

He takes a long look at your face, definitely questioning why you’re acting so strange, before shrugging, “Sure, why not? I think it’ll be fun. Are you guys going?”

You silently plead with Jangjun, staring at him intently. Jangjun hums in thought, deciding to spare you a little.

“Yeah, we’ll be there,” You sigh in relief, not noticing Sungyoon sneak a glance at you.

---------------

“It’s not a date, it’s not a date, it’s not a date,” you repeat to yourself multiple times as you get ready. Yet, you can’t help putting more attention to your outfit, making sure your hair looks at least presentable. As you put on a touch of makeup, you frown. It’s not like this is the first time you’ve hung out with Sungyoon, let alone in a group- he’s your best friend! It is the first time in a while though, as you both have been very busy with school and extracurriculars lately.

“Get your head out of the gutter, Y/N,” You slap your cheeks, “You haven’t hung out with your friends in a while; It’ll be fun!”

---------------

“There he is,” You see Sungyoon leaning against a wall, his eyes glued to his phone. You quietly make your way to him, being extra careful to not get noticed. Once you’re close enough, you tiptoe and lean in close to his ear.

“Boo!”

“Oh, you’re here.”

You pout as Sungyoon simply turns his head in your direction, slipping his phone into his pocket.

“You didn’t even flinch,” You complain, feeling disgruntled. He snorts, pushing off the wall to fully face you. His eyes settle on your figure, making you nervously shift your weight from foot to foot. Silence envelops you as he continues to stare.

“Is there something on my face?” You try to break the silence, feeling shy under his gaze. He tilts his head before humming thoughtfully.

“You look nice,” Your cheeks grow hot almost immediately upon hearing his compliment. You don’t dare meet his eyes, knowing that you would probably combust. Instead, your eyes settle on your shoes, finding them very interesting.

“Ah- thanks,” You squeak out, racking your brain for an appropriate response, “We haven’t hung out in a while, so I thought I would dress up a little more? To not look like a sleep deprived college student, you know-”

Shoot, you were starting to ramble. Quickly shaking your head, you try to change the subject, “Where’s Jangjun and the others?”

“Did they not tell you?” You look up at his words, confused. Seeing the puzzled expression on your face, he continues, “Jangjun said they were going to be late. Something about Joochan and Donghyun fighting over this game, and they’re pretty serious about it.”

You stop yourself from screaming at the world.

“Let me message Jangjun real quick.” He nods his head as you take your phone out of your pocket. He doesn’t miss how your mood has soured upon learning of the absence of your friends.

6:49 PM

Y/N: Lee

Y/N: Jangjun

Y/N: You are dead.

Y/N: When I find you, you better run

🐮: Woah, Y/N, calm down!

🐮: We’ll only be an hour or two late, no biggie :9

🐮 : Have fun on your date tho~ But not too much fun, okay?

🐮 : ;))))

“I’m going to murder that guy,” You curse underneath your breath, letting out a big sigh as you put your phone back in your pocket.

“Everything okay?” You jump, remembering where you are. Sungyoon has an unreadable expression on his face as he studies you, and you try not to get too caught up in his gaze.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You try to reassure him, but your smile is weak, “Let’s just go.”

You both start walking towards the food stands at the entrance of the field, trying not to get too caught up in your nerves.

It’s not a date. It’s not.

“Y/N?” You look up, and find Sungyoon farther ahead than you thought he was. It’s suddenly crowded as everyone is trying to get food before the show starts. As someone pushes past you, Sungyoon’s hand reaches out to grasp your wrist and pulls you close to him.

“Be careful, it’s really crowded here.” Your head automatically nods, not trusting your voice to say anything as all your attention goes to the grip he has on your wrist. His hand lowers until your palms touch, and he squeezes your hand. His hold is gentle and warm, making butterflies dance in your stomach. You let yourself be dragged by the pull of his hand as he weaves through the crowd.

The time spent at the food stands is relatively enjoyable. Both of you haven’t eaten before coming, so you allow yourselves to look through all the stalls, buying all the food you want. You easily share your food and quickly fall into a comfortable pace, laughing and finally relaxing.

You do notice that once your hands are empty, Sungyoon reaches out to grasp the one closest to him. You convince yourself that it’s because he doesn’t want you to get lost, having experienced your lack of sense of direction first-hand. Still, you allow yourself a bit of giddiness, glancing down at your hands occasionally.

Having filled your stomachs, you both finally settle down on one of the provided picnic blankets laid out on the grass, the show nearing its start time.

As you hum absentmindedly, taking a picture of the darkening sky with your phone, you see Sungyoon staring at you from the corner of your eye. You turn your head in his direction, tilting your head, “What?”

He shakes his head, propping his chin on his hand, “Nothing, it’s just…”

“Hm?”

“I’m glad you’re having a good time,” He finally says after a long pause, turning his head to look up at the sky, “I feel like you’ve been distant lately? Not that I blame you, school is in full swing after all. But you’ve definitely been acting a little strange; I thought the stress was getting to you.”

He then turns to you, suddenly smiling, “But you seem to be in a better mood now, so I’m happy.”

Your eyes widen in surprise, the nature of his words dawning on you.

You really messed up, didn’t you?

Before you can respond, a loud horn goes off, signaling the start of the fireworks show. You both turn to look up the night sky as one after another, balls of colored flame shoot up and explode with a giant pop.

You lower your eyes to stare at Sungyoon, the fireworks casting various hues of color on his face, highlighting his features. You didn’t realize it, but you had probably grown more distant as your feelings for him bloomed, becoming too nervous to simply hang out with him anymore. And here he was, just happy that you were finally having a good time with him.

What a best friend you are.

You’re suddenly overwhelmed, feeling guilty for having worried him, yet grateful that he’s still the same Sungyoon that you met back in freshman year, the same person who is in tune with your feelings no matter the situation, who at the end of the day just seeing you happy makes him happy; he’s the one you fell in love with.

Before you can even process what you’re about to say, your mouth opens.

“Sungyoon-ah. I like you.”

You clasp your hand over your mouth, your eyes widening in surprise. Did you just-

You quickly bury your face in your arms, your face blazing. Your heart feels like it’s going to explode out of your ribcage, the embarrassment hitting you in waves.

You did not just confess, you did not, you did not-

“Y/N.” You refuse to look up, afraid of what you’d just done. You just confessed to your friend, your best friend! You feel tears well up in your eyes at the possibility of having ruined your friendship.

“Hey, look at me,” His voice is surprisingly gentle, not the tone you were expecting at all. You mentally count to ten in your head before gathering enough courage to look up at him. Your breath hitches in your throat as your eyes finally meet his, his face growing closer to yours.

“Can you repeat what you said?” He asks, not breaking eye contact with you as your body grows hot, keeping his gaze steady. The fireworks up in the sky are long forgotten as you visibly gulp before clearing your throat.

“I- I like you, Choi Sungyoon,” You muster out, willing yourself to not look away, “I like you a lot.”

The anticipation makes your stomach drop; you can hear your heart pounding wildly in your ear as you wait for his response. He gazes at you for a while before smiling.

“I like you, too.” He says easily, leaving you utterly shocked. He looks away as you gape at him, not believing your ears. He raises a hand to his nose, scratching it awkwardly.

“Wait- what- I-” Your mouth can’t keep up with your thoughts, your mind an absolute mess, “Did you- huh?”

It warms your heart when you finally catch the red glow of his ears- a shy Sungyoon wasn’t something you witnessed every day.

He shyly runs a hand through his hair, “I said I like you, too. And I have, for a while now.”

“Oh.” Your face quickly matches the shade of his ears, maybe even more so. But a wave of relief and giddiness passes through you and you can’t help but smile widely once the words process in your brain.

Because your best friend felt the same way about you.

You spend the rest of the night in comfortable silence, your heart still beating fast, but it’s a good kind of warmth that spreads through you, one that makes you feel like all is right in the world.

You don’t realize when he draws close, but suddenly your hands are touching, his shoulder grazes yours and his breath is right next to your ear. You slowly turn your head in his direction, your breath hitching upon realizing how close his face is to yours.

You close your eyes, grasping his hand as you take a deep breath and lean forward. When your lips meet, it’s like your heart is mimicking the explosion of the fireworks in the sky. All these feelings surge through you as you share a kiss, and you swear you’re flying.

As you part, you both look away shyly; your face is blazing, your heart still hammering in your chest. You don’t complain when he tugs on your arm and brings you close to him, letting you lean your head on his shoulder as you continue watching the sky together.

#golden child #golden child scenarios #golden child au #sungyoon #choi sungyoon #y #golden child y #golcha #gncd #gncd scenarios #sungyoon scenarios #y scenarios #kpop scenarios #kpop #au #friends to lovers #woollim

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obscureamor · 4 years

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¡fuckin’ obscure asks! ♡

just some asks about sex!

amor. “i got a question how do you ride dick? -this is coming from a virgin who’s in college”

— 0/10 would not recommend if you have bad knees but! hmm spell coconut, bby and watch some porn. - from someone with bad knees

here’s what my friend said:;

(i asked them like i was the one who was wondering so they’re calling me a bitch not you dkekekeje)

amor. “okay but what about things we can’t see?,, like i am having the most trouble trying to find my g spot, it’s almost like the bitch doesn’t want to be found ;-;”

— at that point... it’s really the same thing. you just have to explore. see what feels the most sensitive / good and what doesn’t! honestly, it just takes time and i get how frustrating it can be.

amor. “I was horny earlier and the smu wasn't doing it for me so I had to watch p*rn😐and there was like a bunch of people in the comments of this one video talking about whether or whether not he could actually fuck her like that and it be enjoyable cause this woman talking about how the vagina is only 5 inches deep I was just sitting in the corner like 😐😶🤡 um chile anyways what yall want from mcdonalds”

— dude... the comments on pornhub are so fucking funny and they have so much... audacity too ??? lmaooo when i was doing ‘research’ for my strade ring gag fic, omg the comments? i was like 👀????? the whole time. it was so shocking cause they were all ‘why did you let her push you away? you should’ve kept going 😠’ BUT IF YOU WERE TO HEAR BABY GIRLS GAGS ???? BROO the whole time i was like please don’t vomit please don’t vomit

amor. “sex talk: i can never get off and i hate it because i’m horny more often than not. Toys don’t work because they don’t reach deep enough, and i can never multitask with my clit. but i’m t too self conscious to have sex, so i’m running out of options. I could ask one of my friends to help me but i don’t even know how to approach it and/or offer it because i get so nervous that they’ll think i’m weird. I know this is probably strange but could i ask if you have any advice?”

— NOTHING IS STRANGE WE WERE LEGIT TALKING ABOUT CLITS AND FIRST TIME GIVING HEAD THE OTHER DAY EMESKSK BUT!

not being able to get off is normal. try focusing less on cumming and more on the material (visual or audio porn / smut) and how good you feel as you’re doing it. it’s okay not to cum. i fucking almost always never cum from masturbating, shit is frustrating fam!

the toy thing — penetration alone doesn’t work for a lot of people and maybe you need to try other things. have you tried just stimulating your clit? i’ve heard from some people it works for them, so maybe give it a try? or maybe you could try denying yourself orgasms? once you feel it coming— stop —just to have some sort of build up, ya know? one constant in all my answers is explore what feels good! ¡experiment baybeee!

if you do ask your friend, you shouldn’t be embarrassed because sex is normal but you also shouldn’t be pressuring yourself. it’s a long process to become comfortable sexually! some physical touch still makes me hhhhnnnnn and not a good hhhhnnnnn. you have to find what works for you.

i know it’s frustrating, but it honestly takes time to get comfortable with ones self and the act of sex. ¡¡take your time and don’t rush it, bby ♡!!

note. i feel like i should add this, but please take what i say with a grain of salt ??? i’m not a sex therapist lmaooo if anything, this is more like a friend giving advice to a friend!

#fuckin obscure sex talk #shoutout to my baby grilll for helping me answer that last question!! <3!!!

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1068

What internet browser do you use? Chrome. It’s what I’m used to, but I also think it looks the cleanest among the other available browsers.

What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) I never reach for imported water brands like Evian because what is the point?? The local bottled water brands we have like Summit and Absolute work fine and already do a great job of quenching my thirst.

Do you have a job? Yes and I go back tomorrow and I’m cringing thinking about it. I love my job, but I wish it wasn’t so mercilessly hectic for 9 straight hours, 5 days a week. I like to think that I was hired right at the start of all the simultaneous Christmas campaigns of our clients which is why everything seemed busy; so I’m hoping the workload will start to die down a little bit now that all the holidays are over.

Are you full-time or part-time? Full-time.

Are you watching TV right now? Nope. I was watching on YouTube earlier, but I decided to focus on this.

Or are you listening to music? No. It’s silent here in the living room, just the way I want it to currently be.

Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? I don’t think that’s enough money for a dare that big.

When's your birthday? April 21st.

Thoughts on kids? I’m a lot less idealistic about them now. I used to want kids with my only formula being “I’ll do the exact opposite of what my mom did with me.” but I realized it’s so much more complicated than that. Raising a kid/kids is a whole damn job in itself and I see that with how my cousins of the same age, but from different families, have been acting. My cousins from one family are really spoiled and entitled, and I can’t last in a room with them for more than a minute; but my cousins in another family are so ridiculously well-behaved I can’t even start to fathom how respectful and kind they are. That observation has scared me away from kids in the meantime, because I still have to figure out how to not fuck such a responsibility up.

Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents? The worst thing they ever did was take away my laptop privileges for an indefinite period when I was 11, when they caught me being a dumbass on social media and cursing all over the place. It’s a reasonable punishment per se, but that was also a time when the internet was starting to become a resource and requirement for homework and school projects; so my parents didn’t know how many things I failed to submit because they didn’t allow me on the internet.

Are you the type who is completely against abortion? I am pro-choice and pro-pregnant people should be allowed to make decisions about their own bodies. I don’t like the idea of abortion, but I’ve always believed people should have access to resources to learn more about it, to a healthy culture that embraces it as an option, and to actual facilities that will enable them to receive one if the need be.

Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? No, I don’t think so. Not yet at least.

Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? Peonies don’t mean anything in particular. I just think they look pretty.

What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered? I can’t imagine dogs ever getting endangered, but hypothetically I’d be crushed. I’d do the same thing I would do with other endangered animals, which is to spread the word about their situation and what can be done to save them from getting even fewer in number.

Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No. I never cared for makeup. I’m turning 23 and still don’t feel the need to invest in it...should I be worried?

Do you own a tripod for your camera? We used to, but I have not seen it in a long time.

Are your nails always painted? They never are.

What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. < This was true for me too, at least for a time. Another one would be the barbecue that my uncle bought for a family gathering once that was definitely contaminated with something...shit gave me food poisoning at 3 AM and made me think my half-naked self was going to die right then and there in the bathroom.

Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? We only ever decorate for Christmas, so I guess it wins by default.

Were you popular in school? By the second half of high school I was hanging out with the popular groups and getting invited to popular kid things, but I never wanted to claim to be popular myself. I still liked letting my friends take the spotlight.

Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion? Is there something you intend to buy in the near future? Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have? What's the screensaver on your computer? Crossing these out as I believe this survey is a shuffle of questions from many different surveys...? and I have already answered these five in a past survey I recently finished.

What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I don’t really care for guys, I think... I still haven’t made up my mind about them yet, but all I know is I definitely have not felt seriously attracted to any irl man my whole life.

What’s the sexiest thing about a girl? THIGHS

Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021? Who was the last person to send you a message on social media? ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown? Have you smiled at any point during the last hour? What was the last thing you consulted Google for? So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? When was the last time you were on a carousel? What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? Have you ever played Halo? Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine? When was the last time you had a pillow fight? Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: In your own words, define what the word sexy means. What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live? Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? Are you any good at volleyball? Have you ever had a water balloon fight? Same situation as above. What an interesting order of questions, hehe. Still having fun with this though!

Do you think some babies are ugly? Newborns are super wrinkly and make the strangest facial expressions from time to time. That won’t stop me from cooing at them, though.

Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I’ve never been there. Is it like a standard birthday party events place for kids?

Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? In time, maybe.

Do you love stuff-crusted pizza? Yessssss.

Do you apply lotion after you bathe? I don’t, but I should probably pick it up as a habit seeing how dry my skin can get.

What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. < Same!

Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Gabie.

Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? I’ve never even posted a video on YouTube.

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? Not my spot of choice, so maybe not.

Do you like Robert Frost poems? I’m only familiar with one and I’m having a little trouble remembering it rn haha.

Do you go to church every Sunday? We used to go to church, yeah; back when it was okay to. Our local church has allowed face-to-face masses again (but with very limited attendees) but my mom has preferred for us to stay home, so for the last few months we’ve been watching livestreams of Sunday mass every week.

Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year? I would say Gab and I were on-and-off, but it went on a lot longer than a year. The total time would amount to six years.

If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. Or modeling, if I could only pull it off.

What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? I seriously don’t care. I skip out on bras all the time because I honestly personally don’t need them, and everyone should be allowed to feel and act the same way.

What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I never do this. Even before Covid, I’ve felt iffy about trying clothes that many others have already put on and were probably not washed 100% well. I’d rather get something, try it on at home, decide if it’s a good fit or not, and then return it ASAP if it ends up being the latter.

Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes? My mom doesn’t knock so I’ve always been scared to try sleeping naked (and she also throws a fit if she catches me locking my door, which is like - then why did you even buy a doorknob with a lock??), but I definitely see the appeal.

Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? Yes for the more part lmao, but I don’t know if I’ve ever made out in a dream.

Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before? Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve? What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it? Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way?

Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? Through choice. Waste management is sadly not much of a priority here, if at all.

Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day? I have never tried the latter two. Water has always been tasteless and plain to me, and I never understood the point of customizing something that’s meant to be tasteless and uncarbonated. There are days where I’m able to have several glasses and other days where I unconsciously skip out on water until dinner.

Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? Fortunately I’ve never had to call any of these.

When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? I wasssssss maybe having something printed? If it wasn’t that, I was probably returning a book.

Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? None of that here, especially since I live in the city. A sighting of a wild animal outside of a zoo or eco-park would definitely make national news, like that time an ostrich was seen running around a private village many months ago.

Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? Yep, from a dengue scare that turned out to be just a simple low platelet count.

Have you ever experienced a panic attack? Yes, but they are extremely rare. The last time I had one was maybe two or three years ago. Unfortunately I think all my panic attacks were caused by and involved my mom.

Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID? For a time, when I was hating journalism in college, I was daydreaming about the idea of shifting to biology and making the drastic swerve to med school. But I knew a love of memorizing and biology topics won’t be enough for me to be successful in the medical field, so I quickly shot the idea down.

Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? People are definitely following and have been obedient with protocol in different places. Some cities are also still strict with maintaining their checkpoints and banning tourists from entering their area just yet. It’s the government that hasn’t really been making the effort to put measures to contain the virus.

Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree? Artificial. I don’t know if getting real trees for Christmas trees is a thing here.

What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn? Cheddar cheese.

Do you drink oat milk? Nopes. I’d like to try it just to say that I have (and I might end up loving it too), but I have yet to look up what foods or drinks it works best with.

Do you love thrifting? Sure, sometimes I get good finds from it.

Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic? Sometimes I’ll use it in a Powerpoint or a tweet, but I wouldn’t say it’s an aesthetic that defines me as a person.

Do you say “mood?” Too much.

Do you own fairy lights? No. I wanted those before, but I’m not so sure if I still do now.

Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? I don’t own glass straws. Most places have changed their cups into a design that you can sip directly from, anyway.

Have you made a TikTok? No, don’t care.

Do you own airpods? No, but would like a pair.

Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I really don’t care.

Do you make life choices based on astrology? No, I don’t believe in it. It scares me how much some people rely on it and use it as an actual moral compass or judgment system. It doesn’t harm anyone so I never actively speak out against astrology, but it scares me nonetheless.

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? One pair. I used to own another one, but my mom threw it out several years ago.

Number of jeans in your closet: I would say like 10-12.

What accent do you have? Philippine English/Americanized Filipino, I guess.

Do you have a big butt? I’d say it’s decently-sized.

Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? Yeah, before.

Have you graduated? Both high school and college, yup.

Rihanna or Lady GaGa? I like Rihanna’s music more, but I love Gaga’s outfits, concepts, and stage presence more. Do you use fake eyelashes? No. I had to use them twice, but I’d never seek them out on my own.

Which was the last book that really captivated you? It’s been a while since I encountered a book like this.

What makeup brands do you use? I don’t use makeup.

#survey #surveys

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