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midnightprelude · 11 months

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Senseless, Pt. 2

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Finally, three years later, I tested positive for COVID-19. Of course, I couldn't suffer alone, so @oftachancer humored me in inflicting the disease on Dorian so we could write Anders taking care of him (and falling in love). This is a 4-part fic which will post daily! You can follow the #senseless da fic to get updates. Written for @30daysofdorian!

I entered three separate rooms before I found the blasted kitchen. The man had two stoves. Two. Each one probably cost more than my car. And an entire walk-in refrigerator that was nearly empty. I could have fit my entire apartment in that kitchen, not even counting the fridge or the pantries. My little tub of Neapolitan seemed so lonely, sitting on its otherwise empty wide shelf. I stocked the groceries away, placing the various medicines I’d picked up in a line on the counter.

Something for the fever, the cough, the congestion. A veritable panoply of pharmaceuticals. I brought them back up with a large glass of water and a tablespoon, dragging a chair to Dorian’s bedside.

“How’s the patient?” I asked, as cheerfully as I could manage for two in the morning.

Dorian stared at me, bedraggled and somehow glamorous despite his red nose and the dark circles under his eyes. “My throat is staging a rebellion and the reading lamp is now officially too bright. How are you?”

“Tired,” I admitted, offering him pills and measuring out liquids. “But I’ll sleep after you do.”

“You’re welcome to the coffee. There’s a sealed container of a pleasant Antivan roast and a press.”

“Is this your way of asking for some?” I asked, tilting my head.

“It’s my way,” he paused to cough into a washcloth I’d given him earlier, “of offering you coffee.” He closed his eyes. “I’m quite capable of asking for what I want.”

“Good. Yes. Alright.” I glanced down at my hands. “I might make myself some, then.” I glanced down at the test waiting on the nightstand. Well. There was an answer, at least. “You tested positive, I’m afraid. But that means we know what we’re dealing with.”

“I followed all the protocols,” he sniffed, accepting the spoonful of cough medicine with barely a grimace. “I haven’t seen anyone but delivery drivers since the start of this bloody thing. Delivery drivers and one student, but we masked- Damn it, Colette.” He took the pills I handed him and the cup of water. “I should call and see how she’s getting on.” He peered at the pills. “None of these are the drowsy-making ones, are they?”

“The cough syrup is,” I admitted, “but you need the rest. If you try and work through this, it’ll take you three times as long to get over it.”

“…not work?” Dorian looked up at me perplexed. “What, at all? The virus knows if I’m thinking?”

“You need sleep,” I insisted, lifting my brows. “Much of the body’s repair mechanisms are most active during sleep. You should try to keep from doing anything strenuous, mentally or physically, for at least a week.”

Dorian continued staring at me, as though the sheer force of his personality might change the facts or at least my opinion of them. “…surely some activity is healthy. What am I meant to do? Stare at my ceiling?”

“Watch movies. Do a puzzle. Read something light, if it doesn’t make your head hurt.” I frowned. “It will probably only last a week, Dorian. What’s a week to a lifetime of working?”

It was as though I’d told him he would be in traction for months: the sheer horror in his expression. “I can’t be alone doing nothing for days.”

“…you need to rest. Really. It’s crucial.” I lifted my brows, then sighed. “…I don’t have another shift until Tuesday. I’ll need to leave to feed my cats but- I can stay with you if you-“

“Excellent, yes, thank you.” Dorian swallowed the pills and handed the empty glass back to me. “That would be best.”

“You really don’t like being alone, do you?”

Dorian shuddered. “I can’t imagine anyone does. This whole experience has been abhorrent.”

It had been for me, too, but for entirely different reasons. I felt like I’d barely been alone for weeks. I’d been looking forward to my three days off. Maybe I could rescue my poor, neglected herb garden. I simply patted the man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. It’s been hard on everyone.”

“Yes, of course it has. People put on brave faces; I don’t see why. It’s miserable being chopped off from the world without so much as a by your leave. I had appointments and events planned. There was a lovely little cruise to the Rivaini islands I’d been planning for months. Then some little beastie comes along and there's panic in the streets and silence. Silence, even when you play as much music as you can muster-” He broke off in a coughing fit.

I rushed to the bathroom to fill his glass with water again. A pitcher. I should find a pitcher next time I ventured off into the maze. I placed the cool glass into his palm, handing him a tissue to dab at his lips.

“You’re alright,” I murmured. “Maybe we should save the speeches for another time.”

Dorian nodded, grimacing, and cleared his throat into his fist. “I appreciate your presence,” his usually velvety voice scratched as he spoke. “…if you let me know what you need, I will… place the appropriate orders. Which- ah.” He rolled to the side, opening the drawer of the side table and returned with a crisp stack of cash. “There you are.”

“…should I ask why you have a bundle of money in your nightstand?” I stared at the bills, blinking. Maybe I should make more extracurricular house calls.

“One keeps these things around in case the need arises,” Dorian waved a hand wearily. “Was it more? I can forage.”

“…Dorian, I wasn’t planning on asking you for anything. The groceries were only about forty bucks.” This had to be at least five hundred dollars. “I really don’t need you to pay me for my time; I’m happy to play nurse for a little while-“

“Medicines and the like are quite expensive and I’ve been given to understand people are spending thousands for toilet paper. Take it. I’ll only use it as tissues.” He sighed, cuddling under his blanket. “Could you put another cloth on my head? That was nice.”

“Yeah. I can do that.” I sighed, shaking my head with a chuckle. Sweet, the way he hugged the pillows, his usually immaculate mustache grown in and smushed against the covers. I always tried to keep from having crushes on my patients, but I was only human. Mostly. In this way, at least. “I can even do a step better, if you’d like.”

“Oh yes?”

I nodded, wetting the wash cloth again. “Just scoot down a little bit so I can sit against the headboard. You can rest your head in my lap. Keep your tissues handy.”

Dorian opened his mouth and closed it, hummed slightly, and studied me. “That’s very generous. Although, I should warn you, if you don’t think that counts as a strenuous activity, I’m afraid you’ve been doing it wrong.”

I laughed, surprised, then rolled my eyes. “I was going to massage your sinuses.”

“That’s the first time I’ve heard that euphemism. I did have a lovely tutor teach me to ‘play the flute’ when I was in secondary school.”

I coughed. That seemed like something to unpack when Dorian wasn’t on six different medications. Or to never mention again. “Oh, yes. Snot. The sexiest of bodily fluids.”

Dorian sniffled, blinking blearily. “It was your suggestion.”

“I meant it in earnest.” I laughed again, unable to help myself. “To help with the congestion. The massage,” I added quickly, “not the euphemism.”

“Ah, well. One easily trips into hope. A massage is also appreciated.” He shifted down the bed and looked up expectantly. “I was wondering what the tissues were for.”

“Dorian?” I asked softly, placing a pillow on my lap and running my fingers through his hair. I knew enough not to expect he’d feel the same after his fever subsided. Sickness could make a three look like a ten. “Ask me again in a week, if you’re still interested?”

He sighed under my hands, his silver eyes peering up at me. “Ask you… what, precisely?”

“On a date. Or a different type of massage altogether.” I smiled slightly, rubbing circles against his temples. “I’ve got a policy against seeing my patients, but since you’re not technically that- When you’re feeling better, if you still want to see me, I’m not saying no forever, just for now.”

Dorian’s brow lifted, his lips curling. “You can’t say no; I haven’t asked you anything.” He dabbed his tongue to his lower lip. “You can ask me, if you like. You’ve already turned me down twice. A third would be too much for my fragile sensibilities.”

“…twice?”

“Hmm. Yes. At Hawke’s Disco Ball and Varric’s reading. I’m not surprised you don’t remember. Insulted, but not surprised.”

“What, I-“ I stared at him, bewildered. Then frowned. “You were being- Oh.” Had what he’d taken for drunken jokes been- “You were talking about me?”

He chuckled, closing his eyes. “When I asked if you’d like to get a drink later? Did you imagine I was having a conversation with your shadow?”

“Excuse me, you didn’t use those exact words.” I lifted my brows. Something about how I’d intended to spend my evening? To which, like an idiot, I’d answered honestly: falling asleep to a tacky Wintersend movie with a bowl of ice cream. I had no idea he was even remotely interested in me. Why should he be? All he’d have to do is crook his finger and get anyone he wanted. “…I’m sorry,” I murmured, massaging the sides of his beautiful, beautiful face, feeling the heat rise in my own. “I didn’t realize.”

“Didn’t you?” He opened his eyes just enough that they were like mercurial crescents beneath dark thick lashes. “I’m rarely accused of being subtle.”

“Ah, well,” I chuckled, shaking my head. “I’ve always been a bit of a slow learner.”

“Unlikely.” Dorian watched me drowsily. “If you had realized… would it have changed your answer?”

“If I’d realized you honestly wanted to take me out-“ I met his gaze, as solemn as he’d been when he’d announced his impending doom. “I’d have said yes. I will tell you, though: I don’t really drink alcohol anymore. There are better ways to my heart.”

“Are there?” he asked, yawning into the pillow. “Like what?”

“The fact that I was the person you called when you thought you were on your deathbed.” I hummed, massaging the bridge of his nose, handing him a tissue. “Blow.”

He did, sighing pitifully. “The only other doctor I know is miserable and went into hiding a few years ago.”

“I suppose you’ll need to make do with me, then.” I squeezed his shoulder gently. “How’s your breathing, now?”

“I feel like I swallowed very sour brandy. Very strong, sour brandy. Is that breathing?” Dorian grimaced. “I do dislike medicated drowsiness.”

“It’ll help you sleep through the coughing,” I said, by way of apology.

“You know best.”

“I do.” I watched the furrow in his brow ease over long minutes. “Sleep well, Dorian.”

#senseless da fic #dorian pavus #anders #dorianders #dragon age fanfiction #midnight writes #oftachancer writes #30daysofdorian

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cutedisneygrl · 8 months

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Love Online Chapter 7 Part 1

I am having to divide this chapter up because when I try and copy it from wattpad it won't let me put the whole chapter its too long with the pictures.

The next few weeks go by. Chris and Merida talk everyday. She continues to post pictures of Dixie on Instagram and Chris likes everyone, from both accounts. He comments every once in a while with his fake account. The week Merida is leaving she only works Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Everyday she and Chris messaged during nap time. On Wednesday she had just posted a picture of Dixie on her Instagram. Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ Dixie was laying in my lap like this last night as I was watching TV. She is just cute! I love her!

Like by ChrisEvans

Liked. Captaindork-liked Cute! I love how her ears stick out! 😂 ☺️

Captaindork-Hey beautiful! One more day!

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ Yes! I am excited but nervous too. I am off tomorrow.

Captaindork-No reason be nervous 😊 And that's great! I wish I was, but I will be busy 😢

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ Aww, understand. I'm sure you do stay busy. Are you working on a new film?

Captaindork-Maybe 😉

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ Oh, you can't say huh?

Captaindork-not really. But I'll tell you, just don't tell anyone. It's coming out in November

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ I won't tell a soul. Promise. Your secret is safe with me.

Captaindork-😊 It's called Knives Out

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ Sounds interesting

Captaindork-It is. It's a different kind of character for me. You will see, when you see it.😊

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ I look forward to seeing it. 😊

Captaindork-well I need to go. I'll talk to you tonight.😊

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ Okay talk to you then. Have a good rest of your day

Captaindork-Thanks you too. 😚

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ 😊

Merida gets her kids up from their nap and after changing their diapers and giving them snack she sits and plays with them. While she is glad to be off for three days, she knows she will miss them. They are her babies, and she loves them like they are her own. That evening when she gets home Dixie greets her at her door.

"Hey girl! Are you ready to go out?"

Dixie barks at her.

"Alright, let me put my stuff down hang on."

Merida puts her stuff in her room, Dixie follows her.

"Alright, let's go."

Merida grabs her leash, and they head outside. Merida has just stepped outside and is walking Dixie down the sidewalk when her phone goes off.

Captaindork-Hey beautiful! Hope you've had a great day!

Merida smiles. She loves how he calls her beautiful.

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ Hey! I did. I am taking Dixie for a walk right now.

Captaindork-I am fixing to take Dodger for a walk. We can go on a walk together 😊

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ That would be great. I wish we could.

Captaindork-We can 😊

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ How? I'm in NC and your in Boston?

Captaindork-Lol we can video chat as we walk them, then its almost like we are walking them together. 😊 And yes I'm in Boston at the moment.

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ Oh 😊 sure

Then Captaindork video called her.

"Hey!"

"Hey beautiful. So, we are now walking our dogs together."

Merida smiles.

"We are."

"So, how was the rest of your day?"

"It was good. It was a little hard today."

"Why is that?"

"Because it was my last day until Tuesday. I will miss my kids."

"Oh, aww."

"They are like my own kids. I love them. I miss them when I'm not with them."

"That's sweet. I bet your kids just love you and you're the best teacher." He grins.

"Aww, thanks. Yes, they do and I guess I am."

"From all you have told me, you seem like such a great teacher and your kids sound sweet. I know your great at your job! I just know you will make a wonderful mother one day."

Merida smiles. "Thanks. If I ever have kids."

"Why do you say that? Do you want kids?"

"Of course, I do. I would love to have kids. But..."

"But?"

Merida is quiet for a few minutes.

"Merida, what is it?"

Merida stays quiet and bites her lower lip.

"Merida. What is it? Please talk to me."

Merida continues to bite her lower lip, then she takes a deep breath and says, "I might not be able to have kids."

Chris is quiet for a few minutes then he finally says.

"Why do you say that?"

"I was told about a year ago that there is a possibility I won't be able to have children of my own. I cried for weeks after I was told that."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe the doctors are wrong since they did say it was only a possibility."

"Yeah, I pray they are, but I'm not getting my hopes up."

They are both quiet for several minutes. Chris doesn't know what to say. He knows he is falling for Merida and to hear that she might not be able to have kids hurts.

"I actually do have a doctor's appointment when I get back. A check up so maybe I will hear some good news."

"Maybe you will." Chris smiles.

"Yeah. So, on a happier note. I plan to start packing tonight. What will the weather be like? What kind of clothes do I need to pack?"

"Well, it probably will be a little hot so I would pack accordingly."

"Okay will do."

"So what time are you planning on getting up Friday morning?"

"Well since my flight leaves at 8 am I guess about 5 am so we can leave the house around 6:30 or 7. It takes about fifteen minutes to get the airport from my house."

"Okay. I will be up at that time. I can always give you a wake-up call." He grins.

Merida laughs.

"Sure. I will be grouchy though. I am not a morning person."

Chris laughs. "Okay I will be sure to be nice and not yell at you."

"Thanks." Merida smiles.

Just then Merida is being pulled and drug. "Dixie! Stop!"

Dixie keeps pulling Merida and pulls her down the sidewalk.

"Dixie stop!"

"What's going on?" Chris asks.

"Dixie has taken off running pulling me. I am still working on training her on a leash. I can't get her to stop."

"Pull back on the leash."

"I don't want to hurt her."

"You won't. Just pull back just a little bit. And tell her to stop."

Merida does what Chris tells her and pulls back on the leash a little and says, "Dixie stop!"

But Dixie doesn't stop and keeps dragging her down the sidewalk. "Chris, it's not working! She won't stop!"

Chris laughs. "I wish I was there to see this."

"Why are you laughing? It's not funny. She is pulling me fast down the sidewalk!"

"I'm sorry. I can't help it. I can just picture it and I can't help it." He says continuing to smile and laugh a little. "Okay, try again. Pull back on the leash a little lower down so she feels it and tell her stop, sternly."

Merida does as Chris tells her. She pulls back on her leash a little lower down. "Dixie, stop!"

Dixie finally comes to stop and sits down on the sidewalk. Merida is out of breath. She squats down in front of Dixie.

"Do I fuss at her? I have never have before."

"A little. She needs to know she doesn't do that. I have had to fuss at Dodger at times, even though I don't want to."

Merida looks at Dixie, "Dixie bad girl!" Dixie lays her head down on the ground and puts a paw over her nose and eyes.

"Aww Chris, I want to cry."

"Why? What's wrong."

"She is pouting. She has her head down and has her paw over her nose and eyes." Merida moves her phone so she is holding it so Chris can see Dixie.

"Aww. That's cute. Dodger did that once when I got mad at him."

"I didn't like fussing at her. I feel bad now."

"It's okay. Sometimes you have to. It's part of training her. She is still a puppy, so she has to learn."

"Yeah."

"So, who is keeping her when your gone?"

"My dad. It took some convincing at first, but I begged and pleaded and gave him my sad face and he finally agreed."

Chris laughed. "Are you a daddy's girl?"

"Yep! I'm his only daughter, well only child. He's my best friend. We are really close."

"Aww. So, can I ask something?"

Merida stood up and took hold of Dixie's leash and started walking her again, heading back to her house.

"Sure."

"You said dad. Is it just your dad?"

"Yes. My mom died giving birth to me."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Merida arrived back home and opened her door.

"It's okay I have heard lots of stories about her from my dad. She was a beautiful woman, who I know was a good person and had always wanted a daughter. She saw me briefly before she died."

"Aww. I'm sure it was hard on your dad raising you on his own."

"A little. He says after my mom died; he had a hard time but that I was the light of his life. That I was a piece of her and that I look so much like her. He calls me his princess."

"Aww, Merida you're going to make me cry."

"Don't cry on me. I couldn't take it. If you cry you will make me cry."

Chris laughs. "Well, I need to go. Scott is coming over for dinner and I need to get ready."

"Alright. I'll talk to you later?"

"Definitely! I will try to message you before I head to bed. I don't know what time that will be. Scott is staying over and sometimes we are up late."

"Sure, no problem. I will probably be up late."

"Alright. I'll talk to you later then. See ya."

Chris ends the video call.

Merida feeds Dixie then grabs her something to eat then sits on the couch and flips through Netflix. She sees Nanny Dairies. Dixie finishes eating then comes and jumps up on the couch and lays down beside her.

"What do you think Dixie? Should we watch this? This is one of Chris's early movies. He is so cute in this."

Dixie barks.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Merida hits play and watches Nanny Dairies and eats her dinner. She hears her phone go off.

Captaindork-Dodger says hi.

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ Aww. Hi Dodger. Dixie says Hi.

Captaindork-Aww cute.

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ We are watching a great movie together😉

Captaindork-Oh? What are you watching?

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ Well it's got this great guy in it who is known as Harvard hottie.

Captaindork-LOL you're not watching Nanny Dairies, are you?😉

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ Yep! I love this movie! Your cute.

Captaindork-lol, thanks. I was such a dork back then.

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ no you weren't. This one of my favorite movies of yours.

Captaindork-Really?

Disneydoggrl83❤️ yes really. I love this movie. I love Scarlett Johansson in it too.

Captaindork-😊 well have fun watching your movie. Scott just got here so I need to go. Talk later beautiful 😚

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️ okay you too. Later.😊

Merida smiles big as she puts her phone down. She knows she is falling for Chris hard, and knows that could be a bad thing. She would never fit into this world or life. They live miles apart and he's famous and she is just a normal girl who lives in North Carolina who works at a daycare.

Merida had barely gotten into the movie when her phone rings. She sees its her father. She answers on the second ring after pausing her movie.

"Hey daddy!"

"Hey princess. How are you?"

"I'm okay."

"I wanted to find out what time you were bringing Dixie over tomorrow?"

"Probably after dinner. Tiffany will probably come with me."

"Oh great! I haven't seen her in ages. How is she?"

"She's good. She is staying busy with work."

"I bet. Are you excited about your trip?"

"Yes. But a little nervous too. It's been so long since I have flown."

"You will be fine. I know you girls will have fun together!"

"Yes, we will."

Merida hadn't told her father exactly what she was doing, he only knew she was going to LA with Tiffany. She had told him it was a girl's trip. She hadn't even told him about talking to Chris Evans. It's not that she was afraid to tell him, but she didn't know what he would say. He loves the marvel movies and Captain America is one of his favorite characters. She was just waiting to tell him about it. She also knows how he feels about talking to people she meets online. He is always telling her to be careful.

"When do you leave again?"

"Our flight leaves at 8:00 am Friday morning."

"Wow, that's early. Why did you get such an early flight?"

"Uh...It's best deal I could get."

"I wish you could have gotten a later flight."

"It's okay Daddy. I don't mind. Really."

"Okay, just promise you will be careful and please make sure you call me when you land."

"I will Daddy I promise!"

"Alright Princess. I will see you tomorrow then. Goodnight love you and sweet dreams."

"Goodnight Daddy. Love you too."

Merida hung up and un paused her movie. After her movie was over, she looked at the time. 9:30 PM. "Dixie should we find another movie to watch?"

Dixie looks at her. "Let's see what we can find." Merida scrolls through Netflix. She finds the movie Pearl Harbor with Ben Affleck. "Oh Dixie, lets watch this. I haven't seen this movie in ages!" Merida hits play and curls up with her blanket and Dixie with her head in her lap and watches the movie. She is at the scene where Rafe and Evelyn are on their boat date, when Merida's phone goes off. She sees it's a video call from Captaindork and smiles.

"Hey you!"

"Heeeey beautiful! What are youuuu up to?"

"I'm watching Pearl Harbor."

"Oooh, I lovvvvvve you so much it hurts!"

Merida mashes her lips together and tries to keep from smiling and laughing. "Chris, are you drunk?"

"Nooooo!"

Then Merida hears someone laughing in the background.

In the background the movie is still playing and the Rafe says, "This is as close as I can get you to your ship, so at least I tried right?" "Actually, you know what, this is better." "Yeah it is."

Chris then says, "God your preeetty!"

Merida bites her lower lip. "I loooove it when youuu do that! I would looove to bite that lip!"

Merida doesn't know what to say. She knows she is blushing and grinning from ear to ear, she can't hide it. Her heart is beating fast. "Chris, your drunk! You don't know what you're saying."

"Noooo, I'm not. I do know! Your beautifffful and I just looove you!"

Merida continues to bite her lip and smile and her heart continues to beat fast in her chest.

"Chris, I think we should hang up now. I can talk to you tomorrow when you're not so drunk."

"Nooo, don't hang up! I'm not, I'm nooot!"

"Chris, you are. You have no idea what you are saying, your cute. But.... I think we should say goodnight, alright?"

"I'm cuuute?"

Merida grins big and laughs. "Yes, very! But..."

Chris smiles, "Scott! I'm cuute!"

Merida laughs again, "Chris, goodnight. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Waaaaait! Don't hangggg up!"

"Chris, I really think we should...."

"I realllly really lick you!"

Merida smiles. "Oh, you do?"

"I meeean like you! I didn't meeean to say that."

Merida smiles again. She knows he is trying to quote pearl harbor; she also knows how drunk he is, and he probably won't remember any of this in the morning.

"Well, Chris, I like you too. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Gooood night Mer! Loooove you!" Chris smiles.

Merida smiles as she hits the end button. After Merida hits the end button, she sets her phone down and looks at Dixie and smiles. "Dixie, I really don't know what to think about that video call. Chris, I know has no idea what he said to me. I can't stop smiling though. It was cute but so funny. And my heart is beating so fast. Dixie, I'm falling for him. He just said he loved me, but I know he didn't mean it. He was drunk, but still he said it! Dixie what am I going to do? I don't deserve someone like him. I don't fit into his world. He is way out of my league. We live two different lives and are miles apart. It would never work! Why did I have to fall for him? Why Dixie? I'm in trouble! When the movie ends it is 12:30 am.

"Well Dixie, it's late we need to go to bed."

Merida turns off the TV and folds up the blanket and puts it on the back of the couch. She heads to the bathroom to get ready for bed. She takes out her contacts, washes her face and brushes her teeth then changes into her pjs and climbs under the covers. Dixie jumps up onto the bed and curls up next to her. Merida falls asleep smiling, thinking about Chris.

@cevansbaby-dove @katherineswritingsblog

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faithhopeloveandtherapy · 2 years

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Well-meaning people often ask me if I am making time for myself, in the midst of looking after three small children with a high level of needs.

How do you make time for yourself when you’re maxed out? I go swimming twice a week and it’s an act of discipline to make myself leave the house when I have to extract myself from the goings on here and make it to the gym, swim and be home within an hour (on a Sunday) or haul myself off the sofa at 8.30pm on a Tuesday when I’m totally worn out. I do it because it makes me feel better and it helps clear my head, so even if I don’t feel like it, I go anyway.

I’m in a book group. We seem to have ditched our takeaway curry habit, which was one of my favourite parts (once I got recovered enough from the eating disorder to partake), and getting the book read by the date is often a stress that creeps up on me a few days before we meet. It brings me less joy now than it used to.

There other things I do too, mostly in the evenings, all of which I partially resent when they come round, because I feel like they end up demanding things from me that it’s effort to give. Isn’t time for yourself supposed to feel nurturing and nourishing and refreshing?

What I’d like is a few hours in a day to go and sit in a coffee shop with a book, or go for a non-rushed daytime swim, or meet a friend for lunch. But even if I found someone to watch the babies, I wouldn’t enjoy this time because I’d be worrying if they’re ok and feeling guilty for leaving them or for putting someone else out to watch them.

So I suck it up. I try not to engage in the conversation with the professionals who ask me, because it will probably make me cry, which will make them think I’m not coping. There’s just no down time. I remind myself I’m being paid for this, and as much as I love love love the babies, sometimes this thought helps me feel better about the amount of myself that I pour into them. This would never be something I could do as a job if I didn’t feel passionate about it, but it makes it easier to know that I am compensated for my time and energy. No amount of money can make up for some of the things that we have to miss out on though. My heart breaks for the amount of need I am trying to contain for all the people, and I feel like I can’t complain because I chose it. But also I didn’t really choose three, that came about originally because of trying to meet the requests of our girls for an older baby. So really their choices set the whole thing in motion, but of course they don’t see that. They don’t see that every choice I made was trying to do the best for the situation at that time. They just see where things are now and when bits of it don’t suit them, they blame me.

Ahh it’s complicated, this parenting (in all its forms) business. All the unseen sacrifices that the people you make them for don’t see or don’t appreciate. Yet we keep on making them because that’s how parenting works.

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aonoexpat · 1 year

Text

Long time no blog

01-04-2023

I've been putting off writing another post for a long time now, I just hadn't found the time to take a moment and sit down for this. Things have been quite hectic, and it feels like months have passed since I wrote anything! I'm in this strange mixed state of thriving in some areas and just surviving in others. But finally the chaos seems to be settling down a bit. I'll give y'all an overview of what's been happening:

Work 💼

Out of those three jobs I mentioned I found, two of them could only offer me a casual contract, and the other one ended up hiring somebody else last minute. Bit disappointing, and quite stressful, because living expenses can be pretty high and I wouldn't feel very comfortable traveling around without saving some money first. I did consider trying my luck in different cities, but my flatmate got me in touch with another bar in the city, and yesterday I finally signed a part-time contract with them! I'll be starting next Tuesday. Combining that with the two casual jobs and busking (and perhaps other bars getting back to me) I'm hoping to finally start breaking even, or even better, be able to start saving 🤞 Oh and old bar news: that manager got fired! He'd been spreading more lies and gossip about me to my other colleagues, but we got to have a good laugh about it 😂 I'm so glad I was able to leave on good terms with them, because they were truly a lovely bunch of people!

Living Situation 🏡

Though living with my wonderful friends and third flatmate has been a blessing, I feel like I could save some money and effort by moving closer to the city. It currently takes me about 40 minutes by bus to get to the centre, or more than that to get to the markets I busk at. Those buses also stop running around 23:00, and frequently get cancelled due to staff shortage, so getting home after a hospitality shift or a night out can be a challenge. Besides that, getting my own place would help me feel a bit more independent. So I used the website roomies to search for a new flat, but that wasn't too successful. Apparently a lot is arranged through Facebook over here, and I don't have an account there. Luckily my dear mother allowed me to use hers, and I joined five flatmate searching pages. It was a bit of a culture shock to look for a room here. You don't look for three weeks from now, no, because all ads are from people looking for a new flatmate for three days from now. Europe's housing crises haven't reached this side of the world, so I could say goodbye to kijkavonden (Dutch room-searching ritual where several people are invited to the same flat at the same time and have to vy for the attention and good graces from the other tenants) and have a much more chill time with the whole process. Mind you, I was still quite picky myself, so I ended up messaging a total of 29 people, and going to 8 viewings. I sent out my first message on the 21st of March, and yesterday I started the process of becoming the new tenant of my new room! The room I got was my first choice, and though it's the cheapest room I've seen out there, it's clean, it's spacious, it's not at the top of one of Wellington's many hills (see how integrated I am, I've stopped calling them mountains!), it's a good distance from everything, it's not on a busy street and best of all: it doesn't have a mould problem like so many houses out here. Apparently that's a huge issue, as I've definitely witnessed in other houses, due to most buildings being made out of wood to make them more earthquake-resistant, humid weather and cold Antarctic (Southerly) winds. I'll be moving next week, and I'm very excited about it 😁

Music 🎶

The biggest reason why I decided to struggle through my lack of work and stay in Wellington was its never-ending music and art scene. I feel like I'm meeting incredible people left and right every day 💜 Here's a quick summary, please go check out their linked pages!

I've been getting together with another busker to jam and harmonise, which we're hoping to debut in public some time soon! He's one of the most humble but extremely talented people I've ever met, and I feel like we're quickly becoming good friends :)

I've been invited to sing in a band and apply my harmonising skills with them as well, which has been great fun. Joined in at one of their band practices, got to chill with their cat, and learned to sing their original songs! The leading lady said she'd love to write music for me and make me famous 🤩 Would be really cool to play a gig with them!

I met another musician on the bus who invited me to an open mic night, where I was blown away by the level of talent! One of the artists that played there invited me to a gig of theirs a couple weeks from now, and I'm going to try my very best to go. I exchanged a lot of compliments with the other singers, all in all felt like a great night!

I got to busk at "Wellington's most creative and diverse free arts festival", Cubadupa. It went wonderfully, I wore my favourite weird little outfit, got to sing songs from Frozen for the little kids that were wandering around, did some contact juggling, and got gifted a gorgeous pair of handmade earrings by Ear Vibes ❤️

I got approached by a very kind woman who ushered me into Newtown Acoustic Sound, a judgement-free, open-minded and welcoming little open mic night that has been running for 7.5 years now. I was lucky to be there and listen to the country sounds of Alan Downes, who was kind enough to invite me to his home in Napier should I pass through!

In general, every time I go busking I feel like I'm doing what I was meant to do. I made a little sign that says "Give me a smile! ... or change :)" and it's the best thing. Watching people read it, look up at me, and flash me a smile makes my day every single time. Kids are the absolute best, there was a young boy the other day who made his parents wait around for me to finish setting up the amp and start playing, and stayed to listen for four songs. Another time a tiny thing of a girl came galloping up to me with a 5$ note in her hand and just held it out to me, so I had to stop playing to accept it, and thanked her a bunch. Sometimes people donate something else, like an avocado or a pear that they just bought from one of the fruit and veggie stalls at the markets. The interactions with the people around me are very special to me, from one of the stall holders joining me for a couple songs to people telling me they thought it was the radio playing. From getting recommendations for new songs to learn, to meeting an elderly Dutch gentleman who was overjoyed to find somebody he could speak his own language with. From getting offered rides and free bread, to a woman telling me that day was her birthday and my music was like a gift to her. It's incredibly fulfilling, and I made sure my market days stay free with my new job, because I don't want to ever stop!

I did manage to get a second busking-induced sunstroke (go me), so I got acquainted with one of these fellows, and it's pretty good stuff if you ever find yourself dehydrated!

Miscellaneous cool stuff

Another fun update: I SAW MY FIRST KIWI! I took a night tour at Zealandia and their wonderful guides led us through the park, showing off the Takahē, the glow worms, the Tuatara, and their pride and joy: the nocturnal Kiwi Pukupuku, or Little Spotted Kiwi. We were lucky to see one, because they can be quite shy! The young male that we saw was calmly browsing the undergrowth for insects to feed on. I wasn't able to shoot a photo or video of him unfortunately, but the image is etched in my memory as a cool little milestone of my Aotearoa adventure :)

I also had a great night out all the way in Upper Hutt, at the Audiology & UKF festival, Wellington edition! Besides being overjoyed to see my all-time favourite drum & bass DJ, Fox Stevenson, I was blown away by a local duo called Jaymac B2B Vujanix. All in all a great night, the organisers were very chill and the crowd was wonderful ❤️

Some more cool nature shots:

Also, I'm finally getting better at understanding the kiwi accent. The thing that messes me up the most is how they pronounce e-like sounds like i-like sounds. So the name 'Ella' is said more like 'Illa'. This caused a really confused look to take over my face when somebody told me the weather was so nice, she "couldn't wait to go home and sit on her deck." 🙃 However: the other day somebody said "I'm gonna get a beer," and my mind automatically parsed it as "I'm gonna get a bear," which was a similarly disorienting experience. But it means my brain is overcompensating, and will likely soon arrive at that sweet middle ground where I won't have to go around asking people to repeat themselves anymore.

Last but not least, a couple days ago I had the honour of witnessing a Māori Karakia and Haka in real life. We've all seen the videos, surely, but being there in the flesh was a whole different experience. Goosebumps galore, and a whole bunch of reverence for their passion and their voices. I hope to learn a lot more about Māori culture and the process of decolonisation on these islands. I've gotten the feeling that descendants of white European colonisers like to paint a more positive picture of their cohabitation with the Māori culture than it realistically is, which is quite depressing. Once I've found my footing a bit more I hope to be able to dive into this a lot more deeply. If anybody has sources or references for me, I'm all ears!

#aotearoa #backpacking

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conceptsformyowner · 2 years

Text

Being left on the balcony, repeating a mantra, and getting aftercare.

This week, I was left out chained to the balcony, I wrote three tumblr posts with my index fingers, I repeated a mantra until my brain broke, I woke up to being restrained, I got a new rule, punishment, and task, and I safeworded “red” for the first time. Stay until the end!

Tuesday morning

On Tuesday morning, my Owner left to an appointment and left me chained up out in the balcony.

With me I had: some tasteless breakfast and lunch, a large blanket, my computer (to do some specific task I can’t recall right now), and the locked chain attaching my collar to the balcony handrailing.

It didn’t take me long to realize what my biggest problems were.

Comfort.

The chain attaching me to the railing didn’t leave me a lot of room to move away from that particular point, and barely allowed me to lie down.

The balcony is about a meter deep and 3 meters wide, so while I could lie down with quite a lot of room, the problem was sharing the space with my food, the large blanket, my oversized laptop with its oversized charger, a couple gardening supplies, and the tall wooden 5-panel hinged blinds.

2. Temperature and UV rays.

I have very thin skin that gets sunburnt very easily, so I’ve learned not to be under direct sunlight for more than a few minutes. This was a problem since…well…I was chained out on a north-facing balcony that received sunlight for pretty much the whole day.

The very interesting part was that I was actually very cold, like, the air itself was freezing, hence, the large blanket.

So I had to cover myself from the sun (with the blinds and the blanket), keep warm with the blanket but not so warm on the parts where the strong sun hit it, be in a position where I could use my computer, not knock over the food plate, and do all that with the limited motion that the chain allowed.

Eventually I spent most of the time sort of cross-legged with my laptop on my legs and cocooned by the blanket on all sides but the front, like a weirdly shaped tent with a chain coming out the back of it and a very white naked toy inside it both being cold and warm.

The temperature was intense enough to be uncomfortable but not as much as to make me actually suffer it. So it was perfectly bearable albeit annoying and dehumanizing.

It was amazing.

I loved being left outside, it made me feel immensely dehumanized and degraded in exactly the right ways. I loved seeing my Owner come back through the glass and knowing that I was theirs.

I spent 5 hours out there, and as of writing I still owe 10 more. I’m excited and scared, which is the best kind of excited.

Also, I saw both the blinds and the glass panels that separate the balcony from the inside of the appartment have small latches on the inside 👀

Tuesday night

Later that day, my Owner tightly locked a chain around my waist and to the back of a chair and then taped my hands into fists, leaving only both my index fingers out.

For the unaware, this has typically been the punishment for not delivering a concept on time (my posts tagged #ordered), which I must do every monday and thursday.

They then left to make dinner, and left me like that until I’d written two concepts and replied an ask I’d gotten. I quickly started writing, luckily I had a couple concepts in my back pocket ready to be written but one of them was longggg. Damn perfectionism wouldn’t let me just write a short one lol.

They gave me a time limit and told me that if I wasn’t done by then then they’d just go to bed and release me the next day.

Ah fuck. That’s hot. I got horny instantly. That’s the worst kind of threat because they are perfectly aware of how much I love that kind of fantasy, and we’re both perfectly aware that when we actually do it my excitement drops after a few hours, turning into just hopeless submissive masochistic suffering.

Luckily I did alright, within 2 hours I finished the first and second concept, and then answered the ask. All with 10 minutes left to spare! 😃

Wednesday

On Wednesday, they used me to jerk off while I resisted and tried to squirm away (or acted like it :P). At one point during it, they gave me an order, which I did not obey until they repeated a couple times.

This was not free.

A while after, I was punished for this. They chained my wrists behind my back to my ankles, and then everything pulled up to my collar, forcing me to keep that position if I didn’t want to choke. As if that didn’t get bad enough in time, they made me repeat a couple phrases over, and over, and over again non-stop.

“I’m being punished because I didn’t obey my Owner when they gave me an order. I’m also being punished because my Owner wants me to.”

After what felt like 15 or maybe 20 minutes, they pat me on the head and left to take a shower (within hearing distance). I think they lowered the flow of water every now and then to check that I was still repeating it over and over even if they weren’t there.

It was awful. I was exhausted after and so was my throat. But my mind…wow. At some point it did become more…sort of… automatic, but before that and even then, the effect it had on my brain was immense. I entered a sort of trance where I couldn’t really move my focus away from repeating those two phrases over and over and over and over without rest.

I don’t know if the phrases themselves had any effect. As in, I didn’t particularly feel like I was taking in that particular lesson as my brain melted, it just generally felt like my brain was turning to goo.

Of course, that in no way means I didn’t learn my lesson. I did. I know now that I can resist, I can try to get away, but that is a liberty I’m given very consciously by my Owner, and does in no way mean that I can disobey their orders even within those situations.

Thursday

On Thursday, I stuck my tongue out at my Owner playfully. I was immediatly pushed against the wall behind me, their hand squeezing my jaw, and was informed that I’d recieve extra spanks that night. Fuck.

That night I got 70 spanks.

Saturday morning

On Saturday, I woke up to my Owner cuddling me and attaching my wrists up directly to my collar. Hot. Aaaaaaaaaaa. Hot. They know very well that waking up confusingly more restrained than I was when I fell asleep is a huge fantasy of mine, and I love that they do this every now and then to feed that fantasy. I wanted them to also tighten the chain attaching my collar to the bedpost but failed to communicate it 🙈.

It was hot, and made me feel very loved.

Saturday afternoon

Yesterday we had our monthly negotiation day on our 5 month anniversary from when I became theirs. They want to add more and more rules every month, so that I become less and less free, and more their toy. Boiling frog. I love it, I want that too.

New rule: Toy Mode.

We established that whenever they snap their fingers, I must go in or out of Toy Mode.

When in toy mode:

I must obey every order given by my Owner or a VIP, without delay.

If I leave to fulfil an order, I must return to my Owner’s side ASAP and stay in that spot. Standing, looking down, and with hands behind my back.

I must not move or do anything without being ordered to.

I must not speak unless spoken to, and can only say: “Yes, Sir.”, “No, Sir.”, “Thank you, Sir.” and “Sorry, Sir.”

I may say “May you slap me, Sir?” if I wish to speak beyond my allowed phrases. If they slap me, I may speak freely while ending every sentence with “, Sir.” until they slap me again, signaling that I can no longer speak freely.

I only go out of toy mode if they snap their fingers again.

I’m very excited and very scared. I hope they don’t leave me like that for too long. but of course i hope they do awdiuawdiauwbd

New punishment: A punishment for my “Decisions” rule.

For the unaware, the “Decisions” rule dictates that if I’m on some social meetup without my Owner present, and I’m offered a decision (to choose what to eat, what to play, to watch, etc..), I must text my Owner and they will make the decision for me. If that’s not possible, I must use a random generator. If that’s also not possible, it’s preferable for me to simply not make decisions.

The new punishment, which I now owe, is to have a day filled with awful decisions. This means that throughout one day, I will be made to choose between awful options to make my life miserable that day.

It’s not entirely clear what this will look like but I’m already horrified. Stay tuned~

New task: Dom’s Digital Assistant.

I will now dedicate my mornings to setting up and coding a telegram bot that will keep track of my daily tasks and will notify my Owner if I’m behind and/or have earned a punishment.

This is great not only because it’s an exciting tech project for me, but also because this is something we struggle with given our combined troubles with schedules, routines and general adulting :s

New task: Think of a better daily restraint.

I think I’ve talked about it before; we’ve been trying to keep me chained up as often as possible, but it does get in the way of me helping around the house, which we still very much need me to be able to do. My Owner decided we needed to find a way to keep me restrained 24/7 when home, such that I have as little movement as possible, but I’m still able to help around particularly with washing dishes. Also, being able to hug them is something I’m glad they want me to be able to do uwu.

This is a hard task.

Saturday night

I had again gotten behind on my concepts. On Thursday, I hadn’t written anything. Having had written two concepts the day before confused me a lot and I didn’t even notice. As such, my Owner decided to change the punishment for when I missed the deadlines on my concepts.

As I finished showering, I came to the living room and found that on the dining table they had placed my computer and a large bowl of water and ice on top of a towel.

They chained me tightly to the chair by the waist, took away the keys, and explained.

“You’re going to dip your hands in the ice for one minute, which I’ll monitor myself with a timer on your phone, and then you’ll dry them and write the concept. When you feel heat coming back to your hands, you’ll dip them back in the water for a minute, and so on until you finish the concept you owe me.”

Okay. Didn’t really sound that bad.

“How’s that about feeling the heat coming back? Is it really a particular moment I’ll notice?”

“Yes. They used to do this with Geishas as a way to keep their hands numb enough to play an instrument that had painfully thin strings. Supposedly, you should feel a particular instant when the heat comes back.”

Ah. Alright. They’d done their homework and they’d thought about this a lot. I’ve learned to know that means I should be scared. Still, this really didn’t sound that bad.

“Alright, just in case, can we say maybe some time after which surely I have to dip them back?”

“Sure, I’ll keep track of time and after the minute of ice water, you’ll have two minutes to type before dipping them back.”

“When do I stop?”

“When you finish writing, you’ll dip them back and keep them there until I finish reading it.”

And so, we got the computer ready, I scooched the chair closer (which was hard…it being tightly attached to my waist and all), and started.

They signaled me and I dipped my hands in.

hOly fUCK

THAT’S SO BAD

i did NOT expect that

It might not have seemed like it before, or even when I was just starting, but damn it was really really painful. I whined and whined, trying not to overflow the bowl but keep my hands in. I felt my skin burning and freezing terribly. How??? How is it this bad??????

With great willpower I managed to finally make it through the 60 seconds of me asking the time over and over and them laughing hysterically.

I take out my hands and place them on the towel. They hurt a lot but actually…seem to be completely unharmed. My skin was totally fine.

I safeworded out, I felt like I couldn’t move my hands, I think I didn’t even make any motion towards drying them, I only kind of placed them on top of the towel.

Without taking a beat, they promptly unchained me and started caressing me and telling me nice things. They took me to the couch and tucked me in with my large blanket. My hands were already fine by now, I didn’t really feel anything and they looked as if nothing had happened, it was mostly emotional backlash and a bit of subdrop I was experiencing.

Still, I kept my hands in a warm place and enjoyed the hugs and the love I was receiving. I eventually did feel that moment of sudden heat they had told me about. Interesting.

When taking care of me, my Owner also experienced some domdrop, so we just stayed there taking care of each other, talking about what happened, and simply cuddling and resting until we were better. We decided that that was to be the punishment for a missed deadline. Every day, if I still owed a concept, I had to dip my hands in ice water for 60 seconds. It was effective, simple, easy to do, and incredible.

To finish the aftercare, they cooked and fed me while we watched a show and cuddled. It wa amazing.

Final words

I have a couple things written down for today, Sunday, but I’ll leave them for next week. I want to end on the note of that last story.

I consented to an activity, stopped it via safeword when I couldn’t continue and needed aftercare, they needed aftercare as a top specially because I safeworded (which very rarely happens), and we were both alright. We communicated our wants and needs and we both got what we wanted. We took care of each other and then agreed on how to move forwards.

This is my dynamic to me.

It’s doing what we want, trusting each other, communicating, agreeing, consenting, and then taking care of each other. Doing mutual aftercare by cuddling and watching a movie while eating delicious vegan food (ok yes this sentence is specific to us but still).

I love it.

#text #journal

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whaleofatjme1920 · 2 years

Note

ELSIIEEEE

I love this event, this one is pretty intriguing! Best part is i get to write Quill some more >:)

Other than that i hope i wrote it right! Idk how its supposed to go, but hey! First times for everything

Other than that, i exercised, again

And now im sore, again

Except ik what to do this time lol, but now it hurts to bend down and stuff, so yay! Eternal agony

Enough with my pain, how's your week?

I’m quite excited about this event too! I’ve got a whole lil response thing planned out, somewhat of a oneshot blurb thing because that was always the direction I was planning on going. I swear I was legitimately possessed by Yue Lao to make this.

Yes, it was written alright. There were two ways it could’ve gone and honestly the latter most likely wouldn’t have stuck. So the letters thing works well for now. Congrats on exercising more!

Rn kinda tired. My dad and I are getting breakfast in the morning and checking out laptops for my birthday but mostly just,,, waiting for work. Saturday i might be seeing Jess again which is exciting. I’ll be at the lake again on Tuesday.

#conversations with a fish woman #lynx time

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simplyeu4ria · 2 years

Text

chapter 3:the werewolf heartthrob

🐺 ❁

Pairing: Werewolf! Jungkook x Unknown identity! Reader

~(severely unedited: started 02/05/2022 ended 01/06/2022)~

Genre: high school au, werewolf au, angst, uncomfortable moments but only on a couple of parts, lots and lots of fluff, family abuse (mentions only) but Namjoon saves the day

Rating: +17 au

Summary: You are y/n the simple orphan girl, who lives with your step-parents who don’t treat you right. The school make a laugh at you but when Jin and Jimin help you your life changed from the bad to the good. Jungkook the heartthrob is not what you think behind those cold stares that you get across the classroom. With him and his six other stepbrothers and a couple of girls they reveal they are more than just the popular…

Word count: longest story I have written so far 45004

(and coincidently 4 versions of this story, 5 weeks to make, and 4 years of loving BTS)

Warnings: some uncomfortable moments, mean talk, mention of degrading names, mild swearing

a/n: first request/story on this account; since this a popular type of oneshot for Jungkook I am sorry in advance if this like another oneshot, have fun reading

I have noted similarities in other ffs throughout, please notify me if you find another

I can say that this original and that its my own work, but since this is not subjected under copyright because its Tumblr please do not copy my work you will feel guilty in the end, trust me.

Happy indulging into an infp-t’s mind common things you will see;

Subtle reference to books that I have read

Very romantic moments

Things that don’t make sense but makes sense in my head

Maybe a spoiler to the next oneshot idea

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tuesday 22nd December 2020

In the morning, everybody decided to go out on a walk since, it snowed last night.

The snow looked to good not to be enjoyed making a large blanket covering the whole town of where you lived. So, you put on your clothes and grabbed some snowshoes one of the girls had lent you. The only problem was you didn’t have a jacket. Prior to your packing days the weather forecast had shown that it would not snow for the duration of the holidays, so you didn’t pack one. None of the girls had one to lend to you, for today.

But Jungkook took one look at you before running upstairs and grabbed his grey reflector jacket and handed it to you. You smiled and thanked him, before putting on the jacket and headed outside with him towards the rest of the group before heading down the nearby walk to the forest.

It was a quite but comfortable walk due to the silence of everyone and the nature around. Rose stayed behind to walk with you whilst the boys walked further up ahead in their own smaller groups. Rose then asked you ‘So did you manage to get his Secret Santa present?’

You nodded. Before explaining when you got it, before looking ahead and realised that you are far away from the group. So, you ran and caught up with them giggling with Rose as you ran up the path.

Eventually your path had led the group in the middle of a large clearing where you could you see forest as far as the eye can see. You sat down on top of a large rock with your legs tired from all that walking. Everyone else followed suite and sat down around you, either chatting amongst each other or looking at the surroundings.

Then Namjoon looked at you ‘Hey y/n?’ He asked. I looked at him I saw his worried eyes but oddly I saw that they were also filled with trust.

‘Yes?’ you questioned.

‘We all have something to tell you, something important, us boys and the girls have known for a long time. However, since you came into our friendship recently and now, we all completely trust you and we think it’s a right to tell you and be honest.’ You nodded curiously, looking at everyone, they all looked at you, with some urgency.

Then you turned to your best friend who looked back at you desperately. His brown orbs shined with so many emotions which are hard to decipher.

You looked back at Namjoon before nodding to continue.

‘You know those magical beasts/hybrids, of legend like vampires, werewolves, and fairies?’ Namjoon asked and you nodded.

‘Well, those are all real, as many more other magical beasts, but humans just can’t see those ones. We boys are all werewolves. We are a sub-pack in a larger pack called the Eclipse pack.’ Do you widen your eyes at their statement, then you thought about the boys themselves, they did function like a pack you thought Namjoon had the leadership role since all of them listened to him, but it was hard to decipher the others place in a pack, but you had never seen them, shift?

‘Does that mean you guys shift or something into large wolves like Twilight?’ you asked before looking at the boys. Jungkook chuckled, of course you did compare fantasy to a book. Namjoon sighed in relief. ‘Well, that was a better reaction than I thought.’

‘And to answer your question, no we are not like that dipshit. We do turn into wolves but not that big, we can change at will. Whenever we want, unless on the full moon then we change into wolves in the night, with human wolf hybrid in the day.’ Suga explained.

‘We also have ranks in the pack,’ Namjoon further explained. ‘I am the head Alpha, first leader, Jungkook and Suga are also Alphas but are like secondary leaders. Taehyung and Hoseok are betas, 1st in command. With Jin and Jimin being deltas, or 3rd in command.’

‘Are you guys’ normal humans then?’ you asked the girls curiously; they were currently staying quiet in this part of the conversation.

‘Well… we are werewolves. But we as girls, don’t turn at all. The boys turn at 5 to 6 years once they full get control of it. We don’t know our rank since we are not meant to have one. Since we are not pure bloods, we only found out the boys were werewolves last February.’ You nodded.

‘What are pure bloods then?’

‘Where both your parents are from the magical lineage. The half-blood gene is when one of your parents is magical. But girls can’t change into wolves regardless of their status, either it will be pure or half, beta, omega, or delta.

Since Alpha children are always male, it’s hard to know if the female Alpha can carry the shifting gene. Alpha females don’t usually pass the age of 10.

Because being female and an Alpha makes you an easy target, to rogues (werewolves without status), stupid Alphas who don’t know what mates are and other species.’ Jin explained. You nodded taking in that information.

‘Can I see one of your wolves?’ you asked the boys. Jimin volunteered and ventured deep into the woods, and a couple of minutes later you heard pit patting and you turned your head seeing a grey wolf, you presumed it was Jimin since all the boys nodded in greeting.

They were right though, they are big as normal wolves, but smaller than the ones showed in Twilight. You got up and walked over to him before reaching to pat his head once you did Jimin whined in response, and you realised this was Jimin’s wolf. You smiled before itching under his chin and then he rolled onto his side, and asked you to give him belly-rubs, you giggled when his legs moved in response of getting a good itch.

Then you heard a loud growl, and you turned your head to Jungkook. And you raised your eyebrow. Before patting Jimin’s head and he whined again before walking back to change into his clothes. You walked back to Jungkook and looked down at him while he looked away from me.

You chuckled before scratching his head, before whispering ‘Good boy.’ He then suddenly grabbed you and toppled you on the snow. You screamed out before laughing loudly whilst he laid on top of you whilst tickling your side before stopping and lifting himself off you. You sighed before rolling away from him to sit up, Jungkook back hugged you whilst you sat in front of him, and you were chatting with them like normal.

Soon it was time for you all to head back to the house, and you held Jungkook’s hand.

‘Hey y/n, I am really happy that you accepted us.’ He said.

‘Of course, I would. Not everyday you meet werewolves let alone be friends with them. And besides, I am already in too deep in your world so much so that I don’t think this will be gone so easily. I can’t leave you all, you mean too much to me. Just as much as I mean to you.’ You said whilst looking at the sky before looking at Jungkook, who was already smiling at you.

Thursday 24th December 2020

Christmas was tomorrow, you thought it was odd to say you weren’t excited, you were happy, so happy that you didn’t exactly think about…going on a walk, out into the snow, at 6:00am when everyone else was asleep so or you thought.

You were walking in a random direction, and you had gone for 20 minutes turns out you went in the direction of the clearing that you visited yesterday with the boys, you smiled at the clear white blanket that covered the ground for miles, with the bare trees and a couple of coniferous bunched together sprouting high above the ground.

You also saw a dark green ivy curtain covered in snow against a large hill that was covered in coniferous trees, you then saw the large archway of ivy and ferns you got curious at the sight. So, you walked closer to the archway, so you decided to take a picture with the polaroid you just so happen to take with you.

You then walked to the archway, moved the ferns, and found a long corridor, you didn’t think much before entering the archway. At the end of the stone corridor, you saw a large door. You then pressed the ancient doorway eventually a large rumble occurred, and the door moved open.

You then walked closer to the cracked door, and you peaked inside before seeing large amounts lilac dew-like flowers, you are gently the left the door so you could enter the further.

You walked through; you saw a large area covered in the purple flowers. You also saw a large willow tree which had pink leaves you glance at the tree in wonder before walking closer, you also saw a large clearing, with a lake just under the hanging pink leaves, they were just touching the ground.

You gasped when you saw a large statue of a women with beautiful features looking at her hands with your head you saw a flower, a lotus flower, it was closed but it seemed well even in this cold. You looked back at the lady she was wearing a crown, with moons and stars, and a gentle flowing dress, you saw her bare feet covered with many flowers, which were more lotuses, but they were all in bloom unlike the one in her hand, which was weird considering the weather outside.

You then realised how warm it was inside, so you took off your coat revealing your pyjama top, before sitting down at the side of the of the clearing facing away from the lady statue to look at the lake and the rest of the clearing.

-‘y/n!’- you heard Jungkook’s voice, worried.

You turned around and saw a wolf, not Jimin, but … Jungkook. ‘Jungkook?’ you said.

The wolf nodded before rushing forward towards you were about to pat him, but he started to sniff you and walked around you. You raised your eyebrows.

‘What wrong Jungkook?’ you said whilst looking at the worried Jungkook.

The wolf then turned into Jungkook, he looked at you worriedly,

‘I was worried about you, I didn’t see you next to me when I woke up and I got scared, then I got even more scared when you weren’t present in the house, your scent was faint. Then I saw your shoes were gone and I shifted and ran out after you. Namjoon was mad at me for the commotion but when he smelled my scent, he found out that my mat-you had left out in the cold without tell me. I am glad I found you her though’ He rambled.

He gently shivered, you widen your eyes before realising he was shirtless and that he was cold, so you quickly gave him my jacket wordlessly, looking away shyly at his nakedness.

Thanking you quietly Jungkook put on the jacket which turned out to be his one that he lent you earlier. Before he gently grabbed your hand to hold in his, you gently squeezed in response, and you looked back at him.

‘What do you mean by her?’ you asked Jungkook’s eyes then turned to look behind you. You then turned to find the statue, behind you. ‘Oh…her.’ You looked back at Jungkook. He returned your look before getting up and lead you to her whilst holding onto your hand tightly. You looked at the linked hands between you two, you wondered what it was like to hold his hand if you were in a relationship. You tried not to think to much about it and looked ahead at the statue again before looking at Jungkook. He met your eyes after looking at the statue with a smile.

‘She is the Moon Goddess, she is the deity for werewolves, and other night species, but she goes by different names depending on the species, but she means the same thing, our creator. When she had met the male Alpha King who was wolf, they fell in love and mated. She became the Queen Luna; then soon after the union, the children emerged as werewolves. For other species that part of the story is different but one thing in common is she fell in love and had children of them with the Alpha male King of the species.

‘Eventually over generations, werewolves and other night species population increased, but humans got scared of them and hunted them to extinction. Werewolves were then wiped from the human history, thanks to the Moon Goddess. She also made these safe havens for us to thrive, but soon werewolves modernise and do mingle with humans just not often, as we did when we attend school.’ He explained.

I looked at him shocked. ‘I know a lot to take in.’ he chuckled.

‘What is this place then?’ you asked whilst looking around.

‘This is a place for ceremonial uses, the official ceremonies take place outside in the large clearing that we were at yesterday, but the more personal parts of the ceremonies takes place here, so you have the blessing of the moon goddess.’

‘For example?’ I asked.

‘Mating unions(after the mates are officially united in front of the pack(s), they ask for blessing from the moon goddess), welcoming a new pack member (after they have been accepted by the Alpha), unions between two packs and funeral ceremonies (to help the werewolves to move onto the next life).’ Jungkook stated.

You nodded before realizing you are shivering because of the cold, Jungkook noticed and started to stand up.

‘Come on let’s go back home.’ Jungkook said, he took of his jacket off before handing it back to you, before changing back into his wolf.

‘Does it hurt when you change into a wolf?’ you asked when you started to zip up the jacket. Jungkook shook his head not before saying,

-‘It hurts at the beginning when you change into your wolf for the first time, but you get used to it the more you change.’-

‘How are you talking to me then?’ you asked.

–‘Mind-link ever since Namjoon accepted you are part of the pack by mind-link, but you can’t talk through it because you are not actually part of the pack…yet.’- you thought you heard that last bit incorrectly, but you shrugged you shoulders and climbed on Jungkook’s back before he ran back home.

Little to say you did enjoy riding on Jungkook’s back he was bigger than Jimin maybe because he’s an Alpha he can take care of the extra weight without a problem.

✧✧✧

Later that afternoon…

You and everyone else were back at home decorating the house for Christmas, the boys cleared the outside whilst you and the girls did the inside. The boys had carried the Christmas tree inside (whilst you were out with Jungkook in the ceremonial place) and put it into place, so all you girls had to do was to decorate it. Irene and Seulgi decorated a half of the house. The downstairs and the terrace. Whilst you, Rose and Lisa took care of the other half (the hallway Namjoon’s study and the TV room).

The Jimin and Taehyung are clearing out Taehyung’s room for their parents, Jungkook, Namjoon and Hoseok the driveway and the terrace because of the snow. Yoongi and Jin are going on a shopping trip for food and some other things that they need.

Soon the whole house was decorated and there were Christmas stockings decorating the fireplace next to the TV in the main area, Two black, blue, green, purple, red and white. For the colours of the pieces of paper for our rooms, with our initials sewed on them. Containing the secret Santa presents from our secret Santa that we played during November.

Jin and Yoongi wordlessly handed everyone a bag to say to get changed for Christmas. ‘We need to be in a Christmas vibe, and they are all matching…to your roommate.’

Soon you were all wearing Jumpers and jeans to get into the Christmas vibe, you were wearing a beige jumper with a Christmas wonderland pattern. Jungkook was wearing the same but navy blue. Jimin was wearing a grey turtleneck, Taehyung was wearing green one. Lisa and Rose were wearing a pink Christmas Jumper with cute reindeers. Hoseok and Namjoon were wearing red and burgundy Jumpers. Yoongi and Jin were wearing white ones.

You then heard the door and Taehyung volunteered to get it before revealing a man and a woman possibly both in their 50s it was hard to decide because of their soft youthful faces. They smiled at the boys, and they all came rushing to give them a hug whilst shouting ‘Amma! Appa!’ You smiled at the cute interaction before standing up with the girls as you walked over to greet the newcomers.

‘Hello girls!’ the women said gently. ‘Oh, and who is this?’ she said looking at me curiously. Jungkook then whispered in her ear. ‘Ahh!’ She then I presumed by mind-link since her eyes turned silver told her husband. ‘Well, my dear one, I am the Luna and this the Alpha, and we are the parents of these groups of boys.’ she said. You bowed to her and smiled.

‘Well, we should get changed and head upstairs so we can have lunch with each other and then we can start talking.’ The Alpha said.

‘Thank you’ you whispered to Jungkook.

‘Anytime princess.’ You blushed at the nickname before helping Jin do the last of the cooking and the rest of the group helped clear the table and place the things needed for Lunch.

‘So I am guessing you are human then y/n?’ Mr Kim asked, and you nodded.

‘And you are from the same school as the boys then?’ he asked again and you also nodded.

They kept on asking you questions, but you kept on nodding or shaking your head, Jungkook then saw how uncomfortable you were and signalled to the guys to start talking about something else. But the Kim’s questions kept on coming.

‘I think we can get desert, then since everyone is finished.’ Jin said, whilst everyone nodded their head, so Jin was about to get up. ‘No Jin. Let y/n do it since she doesn’t talk to us, she can go beside if she doesn’t talk, she is not needed in the conversation.’ Ms Kim said. You nodded and was about to leave the table; Jungkook then said ‘Let me help you y/n.’ he said, you were about to tell him no its fine. But Ms Kim beat you too it and said ‘No Jungkook she can do it herself.’ She demanded.

Jungkook was clenching his fist on the table you knew what was going to happen, so you gently grabbed his hand, he looked at you with red eyes, to be honest it scared you.

‘Jungkook it’s all right you don’t need to defend me. I can get the desert myself since I am not useful in this conversation. And plus, its not rude to go against a Luna let alone an Alpha. I am just respecting your parents for the whole entire conversation; they haven’t told me to speak yet, so I have not spoken yet. Besides if they told me to speak, I wouldn’t have listened anyways, since I am uncomfortable with new people.’ I said before turning to the Kims

‘I am sorry I haven’t spoken to yet Alpha and Luna Kim. I am not yet comfortable with you so please be patient; don’t worry I am going to get the desert by myself.’ You stated before finally leaving to get the desert.

✧✧✧

Soon after desert had finished in silence. Y/n had cleared up the rest of the plates without another word. Jungkook tried to help her even the rest of the others tried to, but y/n was persistent to do it herself and didn’t listen. The whole table was clean within 15 minutes, whilst everyone looked stunned. Y/n didn’t bother to say goodbye, other than a small smile to the others; but a lone tear went down her cheek when she looked at Jungkook. She wiped the tear quickly before heading upstairs, you could hear a loud bang and as the bedroom door closed.

Namjoon’s eyes then darted between the three people Jungkook was looking at his adopted parents angrily if looks could kill they would be dead by now. Namjoon’s parents didn’t dare to look at him in the eye, they knew they did something wrong to get Jungkook angry like that. It was well known in the family that Jungkook was cold since the beginning when he came into the family at the mere age of 9, and this wasn’t his usual angry self. It took time for everyone to let Jungkook warm up to them, But Hoseok was closest to Jungkook, Namjoon’s parents were the last. But with this development, Namjoon knew they had to work on their relationship better.

-‘Jungkook stop getting angry it won’t help.’-

-‘But they hurt my mate, who is just human she didn’t do anything wrong.’- he looked at Namjoon.

-‘Go to her Jungkook and comfort her. I’ll tell Jin to take care of the packing of the remaining food.’- Jungkook nodded at Namjoon’s orders.

Before standing up, he was the first in 5 minutes to everyone looked at him wearily, even as werewolves they could smell his angry pheromones. Mrs Kim was about to apologise to Jungkook, but the younger male was faster,

‘Don’t you dare to apologise to me, Mother. You both must apologise to her not me. Didn’t I not tell you that she was my mate, the one who is going to be with the rest of my life. Don’t you also know that she is now scared of you.

I thought that when you visited, you’d give her a sense of family I even reassured her. And you didn’t even give her a hug like you always do to other girls, who just want us for our status and money, she doesn’t care about those things.

Her parents don’t even care about her; they are never even at her home. But when they are, they make her do all the chores. This was the first Christmas without her parents was going to be free for once in her life. Just because she is human you don’t have to discriminate her. I thought you might love her for who she is, the person who I fell in love with. You instead just made her feel worse. You didn’t just hurt her; you hurt your son. Apologise to her first; then I’ll think about accepting your apologies.’ Jungkook said with authority and left to go upstairs to go and comfort you, his mate.

✧✧✧

You closed the door of Jungkook’s room a little to loudly for your liking. Before you shuffle to go and sit on the ledge of the window pulling your legs close to you, as you looked at the snowy outside.

You had started to wonder why the boys’ parents hated you so much. They were only nice to the girls and the boys, but now you just saw them very differently to how they had been explained, the rest of your group. You wondered if Jungkook would accept your love, after what you did to his parents.

Before you know it, tears had flown down your cheeks, whilst being lost in your thoughts. You headed towards the bathroom to clean up your face. Once you exited the bathroom, you saw Jungkook sitting on the edge of the bed with his hands in his hair, he looked stressed. You hurried over to him and crouched down to the ground and remove his hands from the top of his head, he looked into your eyes with worry.

He suddenly grabbed your hand and pulled you off the ground from your squatting position, releasing a yelp from you. He pulled you up on his bed, with his back against the bed rest only to sit in front of him, in between his legs. He pulled you closer to his chest.

‘I am so sorry you had to see that y/n, I thought they’d treat you nicely since you are important to our group especially to me, I don’t know what has gotten into them.’ He whispered, you nodded indicating you were thinking about the same thing before you lifted your head up to look at the doe eyes above you.

He was already looking back at you smiled for the first time properly that day, since you were so nervous your usual smile wasn’t present. But now it was and Jungkook was happy. But then he heard a knock on the door, he knew it was Hoseok.

-‘What’s up Hobi-hyung?’-

-‘Just wanted to check if you both were ok, but I think you and y/n should leave the house for a bit. Namjoon, Yoongi, Jimin, are giving mom and dad a piece of medicine, in Namjoon’s study. But Jin and Taehyung are trying to calm them down before it goes wrong, but it currently not working. I don’t think y/n would want to see the family fight, because of her problem with our parents she would become more upset.

Take her out to the town. You can get her happy make sure you stay there for the entire afternoon including tea. I’ll tell you when things calm down and we start making dinner, so you can come and join us, before we go and put the presents under the Christmas tree.’-

-‘Yeah I will do that, thanks hyung.’- Jungkook said.

-Anytime, Jungkook.’- Hoseok said before walking back downstairs and closing the door.

‘Who was that?’ you asked.

‘Hoseok-hyung, he was checking if we were both ok after what had happened downstairs, anyways instead on dwelling on those bad things lets go out on a walk-in town?’ Jungkook suggested.

You smiled and nodding at him before getting your shoes and Jacket whilst Jungkook got his and the both of you headed downstairs and quickly headed outside onto the driveway before heading towards the town.

✧✧✧

Meanwhile in Namjoon’s study…

Hoseok entered the study after heading to Jungkook’s room to enlighten him of the situation.

Irene also told him about the clean kitchen after cleaning the dishes. The girls were going upstairs to Namjoon’s bedroom to watch some movie. He thought the girls were lucky to watch the movie without having to deal with loud shouting in the study. Once he opened the large oak door, loud shouting was immediately heard, and he quickly entered through without letting the sound to enter the hallway upstairs. Luckily, the door was soundproof.

Hoseok then took his place near Taehyung and Jin the only calm ones in the room, whilst the other 5 were shouting to each other. ‘So did you tell him the idea?’ Jin asked Hoseok, he nodded whilst looking around the large dark rectangular room. Namjoon was leaning against his desk at the back with his hands against his face. The 2ndoldest brother Yoongi was busy having a heated debate along with Jimin, who was leaning against the bookshelf, going up against their parents.

‘You need to start to learn how to respect people, not just you and your opinions. Good Alphas listen to everyone especially to their children and newcomers, since they have down to earth opinions about the pack, and they are always honest. You just scared the future of this pack away just because she is human.

If my mate were human or even a vampire, I would still accept her no matter what regardless on what you think, just like Jungkook did. Y/n did not even flinch after hearing that we were a totally different species, she still cares for us the same, yes, she asks us questions, but still respects our privacy, but now she’s Jungkook’s mate at least you could give her is some respect, since she is going to be the newest pack member.’ Yoongi said whilst looking at his parents angrily.

Jimin just rolled his eyes when his father tried to speak but he beat him to it. ‘Shut the hell up no one asked for your opinion, just like Yoongi said you really need to start earning respect from your family members.

To be honest I still can’t believe that y/n still decides to respect you even after what you did to her.’ He spat back at the oldest people in the room.

Soon the three quiet boys saw Namjoon, the wisest brother, stood up. He took one look at Yoongi and Jimin they went silent but stood behind him when he went to go a sit on the armchair facing his parents. One look from Namjoon and they also both went silent. The two betas and the Delta knew what was going to happen, so they just stood quietly watching from the side.

‘Why did you keep on asking questions to y/n?’ he asked.

‘Because…we wanted to make sure that she was going to be a good mate to Jungkook.’ Mr Kim spoke.

‘She already was. Didn’t I tell you to be nice to her? Because she is afraid of new people? Should I also remind you both that you are behaving like little school children, thinking that Jungkook would leave his mate for some gold digger/whore that you picked out for him?’ Namjoon further asked the two people who are in front of him. They both nodded, whilst looking at each other before looking at their hands.

‘Let me tell you something. Jungkook holds a better responsibility to the pack than I ever will, just because I am your favourite child doesn’t mean I will follow your rules. You will never be my pied piper, as I will never be your mouse. Jungkook and y/n are mean to be, regardless of what our grandparents told you. We are not into an arranged marriage like you two, we don’t reject our mates and just get married for the money and glory.

‘Jungkook knows to be a better leader, I am just the brains but Jungkook he’s the true Alpha of his pack and I will more than happy to respect him as my leader. Y/n on the other hand is the perfect Luna, I saw this immediately after meeting her for the first time and seeing how she interacted with everyone knowing when to speak and when to act. I saw how caring she is and how much she takes pride in helping others more than herself.

‘Just like you I was warry of her, when I didn’t meet her, just heard about her. After Jimin and Jin told me that she likes to draw wolves in her spare time, and that they looked just like us. I was curious did she know about us? Our identity? But then after meeting her properly for the first time on our dining table she is truly the nicest person. Whilst looking at the stars that night, doing my usual night readings, I realised this was fate, it was meant to happen.

‘I realised there was more about y/n than meets the eye, when Jungkook became conflicted of his feelings for her. I consulted him here in this room I was sat here, whilst he was sat there right in between you two. Then he told me everything from start to finish. How she always got his attention, whenever she walked by, he could smell her sweet scent. How she laughed at Jin’s jokes.

How she blushed at Jimin’s affection(not being used to any beforehand) And how Jungkook would stare at her angrily, getting jealous without really knowing why. And many other little things that made him fall in love with her. One thing was for sure she was always on his mind, and that it was annoying, to him. That’s why he gave her all those stares, then I told him ‘Now you can think.’.’

He said before leaning forward closer to his parents, elbows on his knees.

‘The next day we went to school and when he saw y/n for the first time, properly this time. He realised that she was his mate and that he loved her. He didn’t know when it happened, but his brain was doing it subconsciously, which is why he was staring at her without him or his wolf knowing. Since he was more cold to people, he didn’t care till now about mates until we had our conversation.

‘The day after that, Jungkook saves her from the mean girl of the school, and they became best of friends till now. Jungkook is going to confess to her soon on winter solstice ball. Just like Yoongi said she didn’t even flinch when we told her we were part of the supernatural and one of the dangerous night species. She still treated us the same, she was more fascinated because she reads supernatural books though, that the humans made up about us,’ he chuckled all the boys smiled remembering that day.

‘Speaking of supernatural books…’

Namjoon then shuffled back to lean against the armchair whilst looking at the ceiling for a moment going quiet for a few minutes before Yoongi cleared his throat. Namjoon snapped out of his trance, before getting up to one of the bookshelves.

He was muttering quietly shuffling along a series of book before grabbing the dark purple book. Letting out a small sound ‘Aha!’ once he found the book, the boys, presumed he was looking for. Flipping through the page whilst moving back to his original seat in front of his biological parents, he place a blue-ribbon mark on the page before placing it in front of him on the dark oak coffee table.

‘Y/n has been through some family abuse and even school bullying, yet she was still kind to you and everyone else who hurt her, sometimes I wonder what makes her put up with that stuff, you might have to ask her that.’ Namjoon said sipping through his coffee.

‘But let me tell you…I am, and I will give up my position as the future Alpha of this pack and give it to Jungkook, and then y/n will be the Luna. Jungkook deserves it more than me and Yoongi, he also agrees. As of the end of the holidays I am giving the role of the Alpha couple pack to Jungkook and y/n. End of story.’ Namjoon explained before sliding the book to his parents, he then pulled out sketchbook from his dark blue denim jacket.

‘I suggest you read the rest of the pages after the ribbon bookmark in that purple book till the next chapter and to look at that sketchbook fully. It will explain why y/n has more potential than you think.’ Namjoon said before leaving to go upstairs to his bedroom, the other boys followed suite.

His parents looked at the book in front of them. It read Legends of the midnight creatures: werewolf collection. Before opening the page marked by the ribbon. Raising their eyebrows at the title? The page was open to the beginning of a story tale of the called True Alpha couple… they knew the story though. They then put the book down keeping it in mind glancing at the thin black A5 sketchbook next to the mythology book. On the front page, was a large writing saying DREAMS. At centre bottom border, was small scribble in black calligraphy ink

property of l/n y/n.

The parents then opened the pages, beasts of all shapes and sizes scattered the page, demons, faes, vampires and many more. They were drawn to such detail, from every brushstroke to every pencil line.

The colours were seamlessly blended too, some were bright colours, of faes and magical beasts. Others were in grey scale, with the occasional colour to highlight the details. The darker pictures were covered in strokes of pain and desolation, with many containing many species attacking wolves. They looked like visions in real life more than imagination and dreams.

But when they looked at the incomplete 2nd half of the book. They found the many wolves painted in water colour with a forest background behind them, they were happy sensing of the colour scheme. Majority were a big group of werewolves with a white female and a Black male leading through. They were seen more often, playing a prominent role in y/n’s better stage of her dreams.

Some of the others like Namjoon had mentioned, looked like all the boys. Jungkook’s wolf was seen more frequently, the dark matte black coat with the shining grey eyes, with his occasional red pair in some drawings, when he challenged his Alpha.

Then they saw a large landscape painting covering the final page of drawings. From the point of view looking into a lake. Instead of a familiar figure of y/n they saw a pure white-pearl wolf. The rarest colour type the only seen in females born of the Alpha bloodline of southern isles, they were hunted because of their shifting gene, being the last pure-blood alpha females on the planet. In the reflection of the lake, the wolf looked surprised but more confused at the unfamiliar form. Both parents looked at each other with surprise in their eyes.

✧✧✧

On the walk…

Jungkook and you had walked all the way to town’s centre and headed inside the main shopping hall, to escape the cold outside. The shops were decorated for Christmas to attract customers for the festive season, many people were walking around with their families. As you walked ahead hand in hand all the way to the centre of the mall, they could see various vendors in the middle selling. Talking about their products, to the walking neighbours, with many foods or gifts decorating the countertops.

Y/n smiled at some of them, they smiled back and waved in response. Jungkook noticed and was about to ask the girl next to him, only to realise the girl wasn’t present and he looked around worriedly. Only to find her walking ahead fast to a waiting lady’s arms, he realised as Sejun Noona. Y/n was hugging her tightly, she knew her. Jungkook sighed in relief before heading closer to the stall which the lady owned.

‘Well, if it isn’t my favourite customer, what brings you here this Christmas I thought you were with some friends for the holidays.’ she asked the young girl who smiled brightly back at her, she turned around to look for Jungkook who was already walking towards her.

‘Unnie, this is Jungkook I am staying at his family house with his brothers and some girls for this Christmas.’ She said as she pulled Jungkook closer to lady. Jungkook politely bowed.

‘Hello, Sejun-Noona!’ he said happily. ‘I hope you are doing well.’

‘I am doing just fine thanks.’ y/n looked curiously between the two, ‘Jin’s friend, we ask for her take-outs all the time. She knows our secret.’ Jungkook explained. Y/n happily nodded, before her stomach rumbled very embarrassingly loudly.

‘Y/n didn’t you not eat properly?’ Jungkook asked worriedly. Y/n blushed before nodding.

‘How come?’ Sejun asked. concerned

‘My parents.’ Jungkook said clenched his fists, y/n quickly held his hand and he relaxed. Sejun nodded, she knew already have met them before when they came as a surprise visit.

‘Well let’s not dwell on that I’ll make some food, free of charge. Since the store is closing early today, just like many others, I need to get back to my parents. But I think they’d be fine for a little while longer. Sit down I’ll get you something to eat.’ The two nodded before sitting down on the side of the stall.

‘Hey, y/n how do you know so many people here?’ Jungkook finally asked.

Y/n looked around before saying ‘I know these people, since I buy the food for the house I go here often for the good, fresh, and cheap foods. My parents, usually go to the supermarkets, but I always come here. When my parents got mad at me for some reasons, they’d leave me outside my house without food and I’d walk all the way here and wander the stalls.

‘Eventually Sejun-unnie got curious about me and found out from secretly following me home and spying on me, she found about my bad relationship with my parents. When she saw me again, she allowed me to have free food on her stall for free. Everyone was confused about it at first, and started to spread rumours about the businessman’s daughter, but Sejun stopped the rumours.

‘Eventually that’s how Kira found out a way to offend me since she hates me, and she spreads the rumours. The guy that Jin and Jimin confronted on the first, when they first met me, likes Kira. He thought it was cool to make fun of me.’ you explained.

‘Now that I am are here, no one dares to spread rumours, after what happened to Kira. So, they shut up about it and everyone is nice now because all the bad people left, for being with on Kira’s side?’ Jungkook said. You nodded.

‘Chicken dumplings cooked in anchovy broth for y/n. And pork dumplings with chicken broth for Jungkook.’ Sejun said. You both thanked her and started to eat the dumplings.

‘I made you a small amount so you could have Kalgaksu later. Since I made extra dough. It might take a while, though because of the cold.’ Sejun said, and the both of you nodded since your mouths are full.

Soon the shops were starting to close around you since it was 1.30 pm in the afternoon. You had already finished the dumplings and already went on a wonder to the nearby open stalls, under the watchful eye of Jungkook.

Jungkook was busy eating his last dumpling whilst looking at y/n who was buying food. Then he heard ‘Jungkook?’ Jungkook teared away from the young girl, who was looking through her bag before turning towards the female voice. ‘Hmm?’ Jungkook looked at Sejun-Noona, curiously.

‘Do you really like y/n?’ he nodded before finishing of chewing his last dumpling before saying ‘I do, she is my mate. She means the world to me, she the only chance I have at love, I am glad it’s her though not that stupid Kira.’

‘I am glad, I can say she is the one for you. Don’t worry I am just looking out for my younger Dongsaeng.’ She said chuckling before heading back to make food. Soon y/n came back holding a blue plastic bag along with her shoulder bag. Before placing it on the ground next to her feet before taking off her shoulder bag. ‘What did you get?’ he asked. You explained that Jin messaged you to get some foods, which weren’t present in the house. When you had just started to wander around the stalls. Jungkook nodded before you both talked about some things

‘1 large vegetable Kalgaksu in Chicken broth.’ Sejun said. And you both started to eat the Kalgaksu together, halfway through the bowl, one long noodle you put into your mouth and Jungkook did the same, you were eating the noodle and it started to tug you.

You didn’t bother until you felt a warm wind of something against your lips, you turned your head only to open your eyes and found Jungkook’s lips against yours, he was also surprised. But you bit down on the noddle before something could have happened between the two of you.

You blushed and looked down at your hands. Jungkook smiled at your adorableness before he started to eat the rest of the Kalgaksu. And you started to eat as well.

Unbeknownst to the both of you Sejun was looking at the two of you before smirking at the cute interaction. ‘Mission Accomplished.’ She said before chuckling before she finished off closing the stall.

You thanked Sejun-Noona for the food before you started to walk again around the town. Eventually you both settled down in a café; with a hot tea and a mocha with a couple of chocolate chip cookies later, and a long chat it was time to go home.

#Jungkook #taehyung #v #bts #masterlist #imagines #oneshot #x reader #fluff #ateez #bts scenarios #kpop scenarios #request #namjoon #jiin #suga #Jhope #jimin

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diariesof-kg · 10 months

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7_13_23

Not sure exactly what to say. I really miss my mom. The interesting thing I love and allows me to feel somewhat 'okay' is speaking about her as if she still is living. I know it can be uncomfortable for others, because what do you say to someone who is mourning. I appreciate those who allow me that space. I appreciate my one friend who reaches out every month checking to see if I'm okay. It's about to be seven months, every day it really feels unreal. She visits me a lot in my dreams, I guess. I think that emotionally makes it even worse. We went to Costco together and it was bittersweet until the end. I feel like people think because its been months that you are okay. I am grateful for my friends that don't feel no way about my absence. When I just need a moment, whether that's days or weeks. I sometimes feel bad that I can't give what I would normally give. That I can't support the way I use to. My heart really has a hole in it. I am already thinking ahead about Thanksgiving and Christmas. Trying to figure out how I will survive it. I asked my best friend if I could possibly come to her and her girlfriend's family house. My sister will be in town so I am unsure of the arrangements. I never knew what loneliness felt like until now. I understand when my sister does what she does to not be sucked in by the silence and the darkness.

My friend from New Orleans called early morning and honestly I didn't mind it. She always calls when I disappear for too long. I enjoy the early morning texts, the calls in general, it warms the soul to be honest, no matter who it comes from. I told my other best friend, I dislike my life its very routine. Waking up everyday same time, doing the same thing with no type of human interaction is detrimental. Humans are dysfunctional to me, but are needed. Humans lack a lot of emotions due to trauma, but I don't mind it. I think parts of me wants to get out and scream. Parts of me wants to meet new people and parts of me don't. I am always blamed for so much that isn't even my fault and that makes me want to void human life. I have missed calls that I need to actually callback, but it stresses me out to even be on the phone. I want to get back on social media, but I always have to explain myself and knowingly I don't owe anyone anything, it still feels like I do. I have canceled plans with people, because I become overwhelmed and I don't understand where it comes from. I still feel numb I guess? Maybe I've healed so much that I am broken now? That questions still remains the same. I reopened a website to try to join groups of individuals that are likeminded. They have this whole retreat for lesbians around Labor Day for less than $500. Black women who love women. At this point, I am like this is what I need a moment to get away, but then I don't trust anyone watching my brother, so I feel trapped. It's doable I suppose. I do have my fellow Capricorn who literally would help me out. I love us. Always down to assist. It's a thought. I mean what am I going to do on Labor Day weekend? I checked the calendar and I know my work is already closed and filled.

I definitely don't like latching on to people just because of loneliness and being sad, that's more harm than good in my eyes. I do appreciate my friend inviting me over for taco Tuesday a couple of weeks ago, just because, she lost her dad and she knows what it is like. Same with my other friend down the street losing her mother, always inviting me for some wine and food. To be honest I love that. Checking in and inviting you to their home, people don't realize how smalls gestures and thoughts carry in someone's life. Thankful they don't have their DND on all day, unlike a fake friend I had. Same with my best friend girlfriend inviting me over just for movie night. They understand being in this house is traumatizing. Bringing me into their space with all the positive energies is different. I just started crying ....I am grateful for them. I know my sister barely knows anyone out there except one and doesn't like staying at her place. it's still fresh wounds. I honestly hate living here. Lol, every time I come home I look at the front and just scream inside. I am grateful for my mom making sure her children were straight. I have a whole house. Lol, and a car basically for free. Lol, the sarcasm to keep from crying. Tomorrow is Friday thank God, hopefully I can get out and about. I really want to go visit mom, but I don't want to go alone. I have my brother but it still feels alone. I feel like I want to go and start digging, Lol, because this is some sort of dimensional that has been distorted and it's a dream that I am living, but the dreams are actually reality. Imagine having a conversation with someone who mind is small, about the abstracts of reality. Phew... scary.

I am a late night conversationalist. I speak of things that would question your subconscious. Make you question so many things. I enjoy in depth conversations, because it shows how far a human mind can go. Nothing has to make sense in those conversations and I love that. It's like being excited about random shit that has been floating in your mind and saying it without being judged. That's who I am. I do want to go back to social media but for some reason it stresses me out. I think it actually creates toxins in the mind. It's drama and chaos and I don't have that in my life so I am unable to relate. Maybe I will stick to Snapchat and Twitter? As soon as people wake up, they grab their phones. I actually text everyone Goodmorning... That's actually a great discussion to have among those that don't crave social media. Everyone who does that are like distorted humans that can't function. If I posted this on Snapchat I would start a riot. Some people post on social media and that's great, others get on there and become robotic and scroll and scroll. When I did get on there after acknowledging actually humans I know, I'd scroll for less a minute than get off, then everyone sends me posts and it felt overwhelming, because it was DMs after DMs and videos after videos and I felt overloaded. I'd real life stress about opening a DM and there were over 10 videos. It's too much, I'd reply to a DM then pray they don't respond, because I'd have to respond. It's mentally painful.

Speaking of social media caused me to panic and wanting to disappear again It's real life toxic. But bless the devious souls who are able to stand it. Maybe I should start to go on retreats? I love nature and have been in it a couple of times to admire its beauty without the toxins of cellular transmitting. I think a part of me is like, okay, if I go on this black queer women's retreat, the compliments of "you look younger" has got to stop. That also makes me not want to go, I appreciate it, but it be annoying in reality. They have a queer cruise too. I need to figure out what is happening to my outgoing personality. It's like I want to go outside and be with the humans, but I also want to be a hermit crab. There are some LGBTQ outings coming up, I just have to stop making excuses for why I can not. And why I should. And maybe meeting new people, I will impact their life, bringing something that they needed. I also need to help the homeless like I did previously.

To end this post; unfamiliar numbers call as well as private. I can only think of two people at this time. I don't even have the energy or curiosity to know what they want. Yall all of a sudden want to be with me huh, Lol. Why people set themselves up for failure will always be a mystery to me. If I did a podcast I'd provide some sort of insight to be a better person for yourself and your future partner. We all have flaws, because well humans are trial and errors of the world, but they don't define a person's identity. I remember giving this chick advice on bettering herself for some girl she liked, then in the process had the audacity to have a crush on me, like no ma'am stay focused. Spirituality has done a lot for me and that would be my focus. Manifesting and really having intentions gets you what you desire. See humans, desire things on the ideals of trauma and hurt and not on the ideals of healed and ready. Lol, I just be saying shit that feels like butter. But on the real, it's true. I come healed and ready and open to receiving. I don't hide things from the person I am dating. I've been hurt and cautious but also very open to receiving, see how I mentioned that twice. I hear people say, "i will never do that again..because of what happened last time." I understand that fully. Fear of receiving the same results and fear of feeling those don't feel good emotions, but that actually hinders you. But I guess that's what makes me a catch to some. Listen, I've been hurt and screwed over, but I am still going to show up with flowers randomly, write love notes, ask to see you, ask questions, etc., even though in the past I've been rejected or shit hit the fan when I did gestures. You know why, because the person I am dating is not the past and doesn't deserve someone else's pain. Might need to read that again. I won't express my emotions because of this and that. Honey, I've been rejected for expressing my emotions, but no one and nothing is going to stop me from still being who I am. I am on the wrong planet, right? Lol, wrong dimension, wrong universe, wrong vessel? So when I hear things, I think so ...I have to be punished for someone else's doing or even your own doing. And most people, get it, but by then Im uninterested. Hence the thirty day rule.

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1kook · 3 years

Text

BORN SINNER III

→ MASTERLIST

summary; Regardless of whether you are a liar or not, that didn’t make it okay for Jungkook to lie to you. warnings; virgin jungkook, timid jungkook, church boy jk, a LOT of religious themes/discussion, catholic guilt, fear of sinning, mentions of masturbation, heavy doubts, a little paranoia/fear of being outcasted, jk has a crush, confessions, making out, boob lover jk has his boobs touched, groping/petting, light praise, very brief/light choking, jk is horny like 75% of the time, positive character development <3 rating; m (18+) wc; 9.5k

banner; as always, by @jamaisjoons !! ty ty ty!! <3333

notes; i have to apologize for delaying this update for so long. truth is, it was difficult to write the next part bc i felt like i had trapped myself in pt2-- jk wasn't showing ANY progress & i started to really hate his character. LUCKILY, with the help of my amazing editor n wife @kigurumu *audience cheers* i was able to put him back on the right track towards redemption! (& even more painful angst in the future!) sadly, that means that this part doesn't include any explicit smut, you'll see why. still, I'm very proud of how much i was able to build his character in this part and i hope you enjoy it!!! lemme know what u think <3

in the future, i will try my best to make sure the chapters aren’t so spaced out. again, i am so so sorry about taking so long to update this series

He gets your text the following Tuesday morning.

Now, Jungkook has never been one to be overly invested in his cell phone; he uses it as much as he needs to, just checks his emails, takes some photos, and sends texts when necessary. But you had set up a particularly unique ringtone for yourself the other day, had sweetly asked for his phone as he laid against your chest. His skin had felt warm and the slightest bit sweaty, his body pressed so closely against you that he couldn’t tell where he ended and you began. “Did you have fun?” you asked, fingers combing back his hair. He had hummed, eyes fluttering shut to the faint tapping of your fingers across the keyboard. If he closes his eyes, he can still remember the soft beating of your heart beneath his ear, the leg you had hooked around his waist to pull him closer. The memory makes him shiver.

It’s a high-pitched bell sound that alerts him of your messages now, completely unlike the classic default tone he had set for everyone else.

From the other side of his room, Jungkook immediately pauses to look at it, the lit up screen glaring back at him from its idle place on his bedside table. He always leaves it there in the mornings, beside his rosary and the picture of his family, as he gets ready for work.

He knows exactly who it’s from— after all, that’s what you wanted when you stylized your ringtone —which is why his hand trembles in excitement as he unlocks his phone.

[❤️]: picnic tomorrow? 🥰

[❤️]: after my last class of course

Jungkook’s first thought is that this was a date, his first one with you since he had met you. His heartbeat hammers at the thought, at the mere suggestion that the two of you would be able to spend more time together this week outside of your usual weekend… acts. Additionally, if you’re asking him on a date, then surely it means you view Jungkook as a potential suitor, just as he does you? Do you want to maybe date Jungkook? Jungkook certainly wants to date you— in fact, if he starts gathering his courage now, he might be able to properly ask you out tomorrow.

Jungkook’s second thought is of that guilty, gross feeling that’s been gnawing at his insides for three days now, and how it was inevitably going to get worse when he saw you again.

He had lied to you, Jungkook recalls, sinking down against his mattress, shirt half buttoned, as he stares at the screen. He had lied to your face during a critical moment, had felt that seed of doubt in his chest blossom more than ever. And not only had Jungkook lied to you, but he had lied to you about his feelings toward you. How could he ever hope to hold you close, to date you, when he couldn’t even be honest with you?

The memory of your curious gaze presents itself at the forefront of his mind, the soft sound of your laughter ringing in his ears.

You had been so sweet to him despite his blunder, had cupped his face and kissed him on the lips when he dropped you off outside your apartment. “Not today,” you crooned, unbuckling yourself as Jungkook’s eyes trailed over your throat— ignoring your cross —and down your chest. “I have schoolwork to catch up on. But soon, okay?” Another sweet peck had left him trailing after your touch, your finger bopping the tip of his nose playfully. “Call me when you get home.”

And because he was so terribly, irrevocably smitten with you, Jungkook had done as you said and called you. He’d called you and then had whimpered against his sheets as you generously talked him through another sinful deed. You had softly sighed his name over the line, told him he was handsome and that you missed him. That you wanted him in your mouth—

And of course, he had felt… something afterwards.

This is where his dilemma begins: Jungkook had felt something afterwards, and he’s not sure if it had been entirely good or bad. The longer Jungkook stays around you, hangs out with you, does things with you— the more he can feel parts inside of himself change. Because after the phone call, Jungkook had felt two distinct emotions within himself, both of which were up for questioning.

First, there was that one feeling he was becoming all too familiar with, the crushing guilt that would consume him following any sexual interaction with you or himself for that matter. Why was he like this? Why did he indulge himself in such heinous pleasures when he knew, knew better than anyone, what committing such acts meant for the future of his soul? He was practically dooming himself the way he was now, but Jungkook just didn’t understand— why did something so bad feel so good?

But alongside that gnawing guilt was this tiny, weirdly pleasant satisfaction, a gratification that superseded the relief felt by an orgasm. It was this oddly serene feeling that settled over Jungkook in the moments following a climax, the soft brush of your hands through his hair, the low lilt of your voice. They made him feel like he was floating on the softest of clouds, kissed and pampered by its wispy tendrils. It made something inside of Jungkook feel different, new. Good.

(In the back of his mind, Jungkook realizes he’s always felt that way. At the height of his pleasure, at the faintest brush of your hands against his. It was a staple of your presence, one that made Jungkook feel like he was walking on air.)

From whatever angle he looked at it, it just didn’t make sense. They were contrasting emotions; while one made him feel godawful, the other one practically made him transcend. The fact they could coincide, exist all at once, had Jungkook’s brain folding in on itself as he tried to figure out why. They kept him up the last few nights, eyes blankly staring up at his ceiling following his evening prayers. Mulling over everything he’s ever learned and been told, always circling it back to your beautiful presence in his life.

He knows sex in itself is not bad— after all, that was how the beautiful process of life came to be —but years upon years of studying his religion, cultivating his faith, had all led him to the same conclusion: premarital sex was wrong. And for the past few weeks, well. That’s all Jungkook had been doing with you.

It seems like every time you meet, you’re dead set on pleasuring him, turning Jungkook into a shivering, teary-eyed mess while you grinned from above. That confused him too— as far as Jungkook knew, the whole point of sex was to chase after your own pleasure, something you admittedly did not do. It was always Jungkook’s pleasure, Jungkook’s enjoyment that you wanted, covering him in languid kisses and long caresses until he was inevitably shooting his hot cum all over your lap and into your hands.

You had told him it was okay, that he should never feel bad for enjoying himself. But, to return back to his original dilemma, he doesn’t quite know if he can trust your word.

You’re a liar, that much Jungkook can look past his rose-tinted glasses to admit. While you may not have lied to him (or at least, Jungkook wants to believe you haven’t), the fact still stands that you are quite willing to deceive others in order to get what you want. He already knows you aren’t the biggest believer of the Church yourself, that you frequently brush off your religious duties in order to fulfill your own desires— the aforementioned sexual cravings probably the biggest one —so, quite frankly, Jungkook is untrusting of the rest of your practices. Were you lying to him, telling him all was well, just for your own benefit? Just because you wanted to drag him along on your lustful adventures? He wasn’t sure, and as much as he wanted to trust you wouldn’t, there’s a shred of doubt that plagues him.

But still.

Regardless of whether you are a liar or not, that didn’t make it okay for Jungkook to lie to you.

He taps his phone against his chin, brain a frenzied mess.

If Jungkook really wanted to pursue this relationship with you, he needed to be honest with himself and with you. Did it bother him that you were so flippant with the Church, the one he himself feels so devoted to? Yes and no. Jungkook has never been one to impress his beliefs on others, and truthfully, he would not be the slightest bit bothered if you don’t believe in the same things he does. Would there be some awkwardness in your relationship? Certainly, but at least Jungkook would know the real you from the very beginning.

But to him, posing as an avid follower when you really aren’t rubs part of him the wrong way. He’s slightly put off by that aspect of you, and justifiably felt that anyone would feel such a way if someone were to use something they love as mere leverage for their own personal gain. And to make matters worse, now that he’s been made aware, it weighs down heavily on his conscience.

Part of Jungkook, as selfish as it may be, wishes you had never revealed your secrets to him. He may have been left in the dark a total fool, but at the very least he would have been a happy fool. Would he still feel guilt about all the sexual deeds he’s partaken in with you? Sure, but at least he would only have himself to blame. The way things are now, he’s unsure who really needs to be condemned.

Realistically, it is Jungkook’s fault. He knows how you are and even more, he knows you would never proposition him for any such sexual deed if he told you no, if he simply denied you. But he doesn’t tell you no, and that’s the problem: Jungkook really likes you as you are now, questionable behavior be damned. He likes you when you make him cry and when you pinch his cheeks and when you snake your hand down his pants.

He still thinks you’re amazing, gets this fluttery feeling when you look at him with that sparkling gaze of yours. Your laughter makes him smile, even if you’re not laughing at something he said, because the sound is just so comforting, warm and soothing, makes his entire body relax when you chuckle. You have this gentle touch, these delicate hands that carefully comb his hair back for him in the car sometimes, tracing the side of his face softly. Your smile makes him dizzy, makes him want to cup your face in his hands and kiss you breathless. And, of course, he can’t complain about your… other talents when he’s only been on the beneficial receiving end of said talents. That aforementioned satisfaction, as small as it may be and as difficult as it was to admit to, was something Jungkook has begun to look forward to on the occasions that you meet.

But his inability to overlook his own beliefs and your confusing nature brings about a great strife within Jungkook. It’s the reason he hesitates outside the church after dropping you off, his car running as he glares at his steering wheel. Everything in him says to go inside and confess to his sins, relieve himself of this overwhelming sense of guilt and shame to the closest person to his Lord.

But he’s scared.

Scared that, despite the oath of confidentiality, word will get out. His fellow brothers in faith will hear about what he’s done and call him out for his lecherousness. But even worse, he’s scared of what will happen to you. Would Jungkook’s life be over if he were thrown out of his beloved church? As dramatic as he may be, no. But he recognized that there were different standards to which men were held in this society, that an act of desire by him would not ruin his name the same way it would you.

And Jungkook didn’t want that. He wanted to keep you safe. Wanted you to be happy and smiling, regardless of how conflicted it made him, because he likes you. He likes you so much, despite the fact he has yet to uncover the true extent of your character.

But the cloud of mystery is partially what intrigues him, has him pondering over your very existence instead of getting ready for work as he is now. He’s terribly enamored, thinks about you and prays for you every night. So maybe Jungkook is still the fool, because he still daydreams about you when he knows he shouldn’t.

His phone buzzes in his hand—

[❤️]: i miss you bunny ☹️

—and his decision is made.

Tuesday passes by in a blur and before he knows it, it’s Wednesday afternoon and you’re texting him the location of one of the parks in the city. You had told him not to worry about the food because you would bring it. Jungkook’s only job was bringing the picnic blanket, a huge checkered thing he had spent all morning rifling through three stores for. He wants to impress you, desperately so, that he’s even wearing a nicer outfit today, darker tones unlike his normal warm palette because he had heard a woman at his job say men look cooler in dark colors.

Suffice to say, he sticks out like a sore thumb at the park, the stark black of his jeans contrasting with the vibrant green of the neatly cut grass. Jungkook has half the mind to feel self-conscious about it, but then you’re calling his name from a couple meters away and his breath leaves his lungs.

“Hi,” you greet, the handle of your wicker basket held tightly between two hands; Jungkook rushes to relieve you of the weight. “Did you wait long?” you ask, rewarding his gentlemanly behavior with a chaste kiss against the corner of his mouth that kick-starts his heart back into action and has his face burning up.

In all honesty, you have never dressed very modestly— not that you had to, nor that there was anything remotely wrong with that. Jungkook has spent many a mass service fighting the urge to glance down the front of your dresses and tops, ignoring the cleavage you liked to show off now and then. But apparently, what Jungkook had seen up until now was your version of dressing modestly. The dress you show up with today, an off day where there are no church ladies to impress and no unspoken dress codes to follow, makes his brain short circuit. The thin, thin, straps that hold it up giving him an all access view to the broad expanse of your shoulders and chest and collarbones and boobs—

“No!” Jungkook rushes to reassure you, fighting down the blush that threatens to travel further down his neck when you carefully straighten out the collar of his shirt for him. “I- I, um, just got here.”

You beam at the news. “I bought cheesecake,” you tell him, looping your arm through his as you tug him along. “I hope it hasn’t melted yet!”

By the time the two of you settle at a suitable spot near the lake, the cheesecake hasn’t melted. It’s still cold and solid, tastes like heaven on Jungkook’s tongue, and you laugh when his eyes light up. You look gorgeous like this, nestled against the checkered picnic blanket with a glass bottle of sparkling water in your hand, sandals just beside the edge of the blanket. There’s the faint chime of a bicycle bell somewhere to his left and the chatter of birds as they flock over the pond. Wonderful sights that would normally take his breath away and make him marvel at their beauty, but when you smile at him so gingerly like that, all Jungkook can think about is you.

He watches you slip a strawberry past your lips. “Tell me about yourself,” you hum, seemingly out of the blue, wiping the corner of your mouth with one careful finger. “Other than, like, church stuff,” you tease.

As you lean forward for another one, Jungkook’s brain stutters for a moment, eyes focused on the curves of your boobs as they naturally follow the movements of your upper body until he’s dizzy. “Huh?” he says, and you snort. “Oh— me, right, yes um—“

“Your favorite color?” you suggest, tugging the skirt of your dress tighter around your legs. It’s not cold, but there’s a slight breeze that keeps rolling over the two of you, pushing your floral scent over Jungkook and fluttering through his hair. “Right now, all I know is that you like cheesecake because you ate three slices at the bazaar the other week,” you chuckle.

It’s such a basic question, the bare minimum of knowing a person. But when you look at Jungkook like that, blinking those long lashes at him, it makes him forget his answer. “Um… Red,” he murmurs, watching you tug off the stem of the strawberry in your hands. “And white.”

You nod, and then you’re stretching a hand outward to offer him the aforementioned strawberry. When he doesn’t open his mouth right away, you silently demonstrate first, until Jungkook is slowly parting his lips and accepting your strawberry. The flavor bursts on his tongue, sweet and sticky, coating the very tips of your fingers when you don’t pull away fast enough. Jungkook averts his gaze when you pop them between your own lips and suck them clean.

“Red and white,” you repeat, unaware of the lustful images that flicker through Jungkook’s mind, the way his eyes unconsciously drop to the front of your dress, at the crevice between your breasts that he remembers oh so well, the tight suction around his cock as you— “They make pink, which is my favorite color.” He desperately clears his mind of the memories that flash before his eyes.

It’s a pretty color, fit for a pretty girl. Jungkook keeps the thought to himself as he watches you sift through the contents of your basket. It’s the perfect compliment to give you, he knows it’d make you happy, but his valor disappears when you throw him a soft grin and he’s transported back to a more recent memory, the memory in the car instead.

A bad influence, he had called you, had watched your eyes well up with an emotion he had never seen on you before. Sadness? Disappointment? Disgust? He wasn’t sure, all Jungkook could really remember was the acidity on your tongue when you had repeated the words back to him, the ghost of your touch when you had abruptly pulled away from him, shut him out. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen you so closed off before, not even when he had first met you and you were parading around with that staged shyness.

And even when Jungkook had corrected himself afterwards (read: lied to you to cover his tracks), the emotion had lingered. Even when you had playfully brushed him off, he had caught your reflection in the window beside you as he drove to your place. The sullen look on your normally happy face, lips down-turned, eyes lowered. A look he had put there.

And now he’s watching you carefully rip apart bread to throw at the birds with a tender smile. A cloud moves and suddenly the sun is beating down on your little picnic again, casting a beautiful glow across your skin that renders him breathless for the shortest moment, trapped by the sheer beauty you exude. You’re absolutely ethereal, and yet he had questioned you. Your morals, your character, everything.

“__?” he says before he can stop himself.

You hum, “yes, bunny?” before pausing your little feeding task to glance back over at him. When you look at Jungkook like this, meet his gaze straight on, he doesn’t see an ounce of ingenuity in your eyes. It might be Jungkook’s lovesick heart speaking, but he can’t imagine you ever lying to him. He looks away first, frowning at the various fruits sprawled between the two of you.

You care about him, that much Jungkook wants to believe. And his beliefs are confirmed, when your voice drops an octave lower, becomes softer, as you murmur, “is everything alright?” The fruits are carefully set aside, breaking the wall between the two of you until you can shuffle forward, your knees bumping against his. Hands reach for his, thumbs rubbing soothing circles against his skin.

Before you can repeat your inquiry a second time, Jungkook finds himself asking, “do you like me?”

Jungkook’s sudden inquiry makes your cheeks heat up just the slightest, your startled inhale barely contained.

It’s like a scene straight out of a teenage romcom— a confession in a park, your hearts bared for each other. But it’s a little awkward, you have to admit, unintentionally giving Jungkook’s soft hand a nervous squeeze as his question rolls over in your mind.

Duh, you want to say. But there’s something about the look in Jungkook’s eye— the eyes he very purposefully turns towards your hands, the hair he had let loose today providing him ample protection from your gaze —that has you pausing, carefully considering your next words.

You had hoped by now that it was obvious, that Jungkook understood how much he meant to you, and didn’t require some dorky confession in the park. Partially because, well. This wasn’t your usual role. Usually, it was the guy confessing to you, raving about all your redeeming qualities in an effort to win you over. But with Jungkook, all you know about relationships is flipped upside down, forcing you to play a position you’ve never played before.

Jungkook wasn’t like you; he was soft and sentimental, practically wore his heart on his sleeve for the whole world to see. And it was a massive heart, filled with so much love and adoration for the world around him, that you felt bad when he wore such sullen expressions on his face.

Expressions like the one he has now, lips pressed together tightly as he misreads your silence. He has honest eyes, a dark toffee color that sends tingles down your spine when he looks your way. They glimmer with a sort of innocence for the world, a thin sparkle that makes him look like a prince sometimes. He was devastatingly handsome, and now he was upset. “Um— it’s okay,” he stammers, trying to move the conversation along. But his eyes flicker around nervously, anxiously. Like your silence has left a burn mark on him, painful and delicate to the touch.

His comment isn’t completely unexpected. How very on-brand for big-hearted Jungkook to try to save you from an uncomfortable interaction, even if it was caused by him. “Um…” he murmurs, “it’s okay. If you don’t, uh. Like me?”

It sounds flimsy, even to you.

“No, no,” you rush to correct, your ability to speak slowly coming back to you only after the fact. “I do,” you admit, nerves on edge at this rather foreign situation. “I… like you a lot, Jungkook.”

You shouldn’t be surprised by his reaction. Jungkook blinks slowly, like his brain is still processing the information, and then, ever so artfully, goes up in metaphorical flames. “O- Oh,” he stutters, reaching a free hand up to press his knuckles against his face. The rosy hue that had first blossomed over his cheeks has now started crawling down his neck now, up his ears. It’s terribly endearing. “I— um. I didn’t know,” Jungkook rambles, and it’s so cute, so sweet, how a simple confession from you renders him this flustered.

His face emanates a warmth tangible even on your own skin, lips cutely quirking to the side as he fights off a bashful smile and the raging blush your words bring about. It certainly is a sight to see. His hair tickles his eyebrow, swept out of its usually neat style, but it makes him look all the more gorgeous. “Cute,” you chuckle, feeling the slightest bit shy at such a warm response from Jungkook. You sit back, giving him the space he needs, and turn your attention up at the big blue sky instead. “Really? I thought it was obvious,” you hum.

Part of you actually feels really awkward; as you said before, everything is so brand new with him. With Jungkook, he flips everything around for you, makes you actually admit to your emotions as opposed to simply going along with his. It’s a nice change of pace, as difficult as it may be, and the results are rather… cute as well. (He bites down a smile, but the action makes his normally soft cheeks look more pronounced than usual.)

“Because, I, um. Me too,” he says, voice wavering. He clears his throat and tries to meet your gaze under his fringe, but doesn’t last more than a second before he’s pointedly glancing at the picnic blanket beneath the two of you. “I’m— I like you too,” he admits, ears tinted a bright red. You figured as much but it was always nice to hear, especially from someone like Jungkook. “A lot.”

“Thanks,” you smile, placing a hand on his thigh.

His lips pull into a shy smile, aimed at your knees because he can never look you in the eye when you shower him in praise and other gooey, mushy feelings. It’s the same in the car or against your front door— he always manages to give your hand a tight squeeze, maybe even a kiss if he’s feeling brave. But the second you try to tell him you’ve had fun or that you’ll miss him, it’s like all his courage fades away, leaving him a blushing, smiley mess.

He was cute like that. Despite being so kind and caring, it was like Jungkook’s entire being stopped functioning when those types of gestures were aimed at him. So you relished those moments, looked forward to them with a fluttery feeling in your heart that couldn’t be tamed.

Today, he throws you for a loop. Just as that proud, giddy smile appears, cheeks and ears a pretty pink, it fades away. The excitement from your mutual confessions seems to remind Jungkook of something else, something less warm, that has him quietly mumbling, “I’m sorry.”

It’s confusing, to say the least. Just a moment prior, he had been pursing his lips in a silly attempt to hold back a smile. Now he’s staring at the ground with a rather pensive look, his apology sitting heavy in his throat. “What for?” you tentatively ask after one long beat. It had been so sudden. In your mind, there isn’t a single reason for Jungkook to be apologizing to you, especially so out of the blue. There is, however, an inkling of fear brought upon by what can only be classified as insecurity; you had just confessed your feelings for each other, why was he sorry about that?

Jungkook exhales, a quiet sound that is nearly lost among the bustling noises of the park. If you hadn’t been sitting so close, maybe you wouldn’t have heard it at all. “I just,” he huffs, pointedly glaring at some random spot of grass beside you. His features look sharper than ever now, jawline defined, brows narrowed together. It’s a rather misplaced realization, but Jungkook looks absolutely gorgeous with distress painting his face. “I was… being selfish before.”

In the few weeks you’ve known him, you’ve come to realize Jungkook was many things. First and foremost, he’s an absolute gentleman. Raised on manners and compassion, looking after others everywhere he went. He was caring and sweet, loved this world and the people in it so much. Soft-spoken but straightforward. He was dreamy, disgustingly so.

But selfish? It definitely sounds like something Jeon Jungkook is not.

Before you can interrogate him even further, it seems like Jungkook is dead set on getting through this alone. “I- I’m sorry,” he repeats, eyes downcast. Noticing his wavering confidence, you resign yourself to listening, hand giving him a reassuring squeeze. Finally, after a short moment, Jungkook murmurs, “...in the car.” You tilt your head to the side curiously, waiting for him to go on. “I said, um. Something rude.”

It takes a moment for the memory to load, and when it finally clicks into place and begins rolling, you find yourself muttering a faint, “ah.”

If it’s what you think it is, he’s talking about last weekend outside of the church. That terribly awkward encounter that had left a sour taste in your mouth afterwards. A bad influence, you recall him saying, the memory of his voice looped in your mind the entire drive to your place.

In all honesty, it had stung a little. While you were aware that Jungkook had an ongoing mental battle, you hadn’t realized your role was that big in it. It’s the reason you had sent him home that day, made up a lie about schoolwork just to give him some space. It’s nothing new, everyone’s had someone think badly of them before; gossipy classmates, rivals, maybe even random strangers on the street. But it felt different when it was coming from someone as sweet as Jungkook, so polite and righteous, who wouldn’t even hurt a fly. Like he was stating a fact, not an opinion.

It was a slip-up on Jungkook’s end, that much you could tell. Because he had been frantic to correct himself afterwards, had looked at you with these fearful eyes, like one wrong move and you’d slip from between his hands. Luckily, you weren’t that sensitive— definitely not as sensitive as him, at least —and such a comment had been practically meaningless moments later.

Still, in those few moments where it was meaningful (read: the short period it took for Jungkook to get home and call you, the words looping around your brain until the harsh ring of your cell phone finally interrupted), it had left you wondering. Have you been pushing him too far, asking for too much? The way you saw it, you always gave Jungkook room to object to any of your advances. You know he’s trapped in his thoughts more often than not, but you pay attention to him, you really do. You make sure to take his reactions into account, try to offer solutions where possible. But, for the briefest moment, all of those efforts had felt fruitless that day in the car.

What you say next is not a complete lie; sure, Jungkook’s comment had hurt for a bit, but here he was now apologizing for it. That was a good sign… right? “It’s okay,” you brush off, patting his cheek softly, hoping with every fiber in your being that it really was okay.

Your voice is gentle, soothing his doubts. Just moments prior, Jungkook had felt like he was asking for too much, especially when your feelings toward him were up in the air. But your earnest confession soothed the ache in his heart. It’s all he’s wanted these past few months, to belong in your heart like you do his.

But the guilt from before, the tumultuous feelings he’s been harboring towards you since the weekend, dampens his excitement. From your confession alone, it doesn’t seem like you questioned Jungkook. You weren’t put off by who he was, what he loved. So why couldn’t Jungkook be like you, think like you?

“I’m still sorry,” he says again, feeling like a broken record when he catches this sympathetic smile on your face. The scraps of eloquence he had gathered while originally apologizing seem to fade away, leave him a stuttering mess when he tries again. “That was— I shouldn’t have said—“

“Hey,” you cut off, placing a hand against his cheek. It stops his fidgeting, forces him to meet your gaze head on. There’s a smile on your face but something inside of Jungkook says it doesn’t feel real. “I like you, Jungkook.”

And it’s true and genuine, your words so honest it pains him to think he had ever thought otherwise. And you’re still smiling, even after being hit with the implication that Jungkook questioned your character and maybe that’s what hurts the most. That you still try to put on an easygoing expression for him after he’s said something hurtful. It’s the car all over again, that blank look in your eyes when he had spoken carelessly.

Before he can apologize for the umpteenth time, you’re shaking your head softly, smiling anew. But this time, he can’t tell if it’s real or not. “I brought orange juice,” you say, expertly moving the conversation along. And just as Jungkook has been thinking for weeks now, it’s like you know him so well. You know when things make him anxious or uncomfortable, know just how to help him out.

There’s a feeling of guilt that blossoms in his chest, but this time it’s different.

It’s not the usual sticky gross feeling of before, the one that has him staying up at night repenting for all his wrongdoings. It’s a personal kind of guilt that comes along with the frank realization that, while you have been learning and adapting to being around Jungkook, he has not been doing the same for you.

Though you may be a little playful at times, you don’t tease him for who he is, don’t stomp all over his beliefs as much as he deluded himself into thinking you do. (That whole, faux-believer thing was a different circumstance.) Like with the cross in his house the other day. As much as Jungkook wanted to believe what you had done was evil, he had, quite honestly, enjoyed himself afterwards. There wasn’t that heavy discomfort sitting on his chest anymore, that sense of shame lingering as you’d kissed his body and let him caress yours too, in the safety of your eyes only. It was enjoyable and fun, had felt exhilarating to be so intimate with you.

And instead of being thankful for your mindful efforts, he had questioned your sincerity.

The picnic goes by in a flash. Jungkook is sad he can’t enjoy it to the fullest, his brain filled with clamorous thoughts that circled around to torture him every few minutes. Still, the entire date feels like a dream, vibrant and beautiful, leaving him in a daze. He doesn’t want to wake up.

By the time you suggest wrapping up, the sun is setting over the horizon, the windows and lights of the buildings around you slowly flickering to life like a sea of tiny stars. He feels weak in the knees as he helps you pack everything back in your basket. “All set,” you smile, walking beside him, knuckles brushing against his until you fulfill Jungkook’s wordless wish and slip your hand into his.

Jungkook agrees, hoping his hand isn’t sweaty and that you mean what you say. “I- I liked the food,” he remembers to mention, the fact that you had so carefully and lovingly prepared all this not entirely lost on him. His compliment, as simple as it may be, has you beaming at him as you exit through the park’s front gates. His car is parked along the street, the sleek vehicle coming into view as you round the street corner, hands still fastened. “Um,” he mumbles, pausing beside it. You turn to face him, eyes clear and content.

All good things come to an end, he supposes, reluctantly letting go of your hand when you tug. “I’ll see you soon, okay?” you say, stepping up close, chest pressed against his. His breath hitched in his throat, eyes going wide when you nuzzle against his neck. Your hands slip around his waist. They wrap around him perfectly, make Jungkook feel like he was made for you.

By the time he’s springing into action, jerkily raising his free hand up to your back, you’re stepping away. “Call me when you get home,” you wink, sending shivers down his spine when he remembers what happened the last time you said that.

But Jungkook doesn’t think he can wait that long.

You’re slipping further and further away, fingertips just barely brushing against his forearm, when Jungkook jolts into action. “How are you, um—“ he stammers, feels too big for his shoes when you tilt your head curiously. And then, “d- do you need a ride?” he mumbles, cheeks warm.

It’s a feeble attempt at asking what he really wants. Offering you a ride home, while not a bad idea considering it was late and you had taken the bus here, is nowhere near what Jungkook really wants. What he wants is standing before him, thin spaghetti strap slipping down their shoulder, eyes sensually half-lidded and you know this too— because, again, you know Jungkook so well, know what he wants even if he can’t say it —as you step into his bubble again, peer up at him with your arms held behind your back.

“A ride home?” you ask, blinking your long lashes in a way that robs him of his breath. And he can see that switch flick on inside of you, watches that pure and innocent gleam in your eyes slowly become replaced with something mischievous. Jungkook nods dumbly. “I’d love that.”

Jungkook blinks. “Great,” he chokes out, neatly dropping the wicker basket in his hands. In a way, it brings him back down to reality, lets him snap away from your hypnotizing gaze as he reaches for the keys in his pocket. “Let me— I just have to— yeah,” he stammers, clicking the button on his car keys one too many times, has it perkily beeping. Your lips press together into an amused smile, the last thing Jungkook sees before ripping himself away from you and yanking the back door open.

He nearly throws the basket in like a madman, glassware be damned. It’s his last shred of rationality that tells him not to, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on edge as he steps up to the edge of the sidewalk and carefully places it on the floor behind the passenger’s seat.

When Jungkook rises back up, there is a hand that brushes against his forearm, a gentle touch that has him throwing a curious glance your way. He’s not expecting to be so entranced by the dreamy look in your eyes, feet glued to the ground as you trail your hand down, catching his wrist between your fingers. You’re standing so close, making Jungkook feel like he’s trapped between you and his own car. His entire body is on edge when you lean in, placing a soft kiss against the very corner of his mouth. It leaves a tingling sensation, and accompanied with the growing warmth beneath his skin, feels like he’s been burned. “I had fun,” you murmur, voice low. It sends a shock of electricity down his spine, a wave of exhilaration that has him fully turning to face you as you eventually step away, that same playful grin on your features again.

A surge of confidence and greed overcomes him, has him stepping forward into your space despite the nervousness that builds within him. There’s a hint of surprise in your eyes that you quickly mask, placating his bumbling nerves with a delicate hand placed over his heart. He can’t breathe when you lean in, softly humming, “kiss me?”

Jungkook’s lower lip wobbles. “O- Okay,” he concedes, voice but an airy whisper that is soon swallowed up. You taste like fruit and orange juice, remnants of your picnic clinging to your lips as you slowly consume Jungkook’s entire attention with this soft brush alone. It’s a rather short affair, one that ends all too soon when you pull away with a soft sigh against his lips.

Your smile is so pretty when you angle it at him, has him taking one jerky step backwards. His back hits the car, feels trapped. But he isn’t scared, doesn’t find himself anxiously awaiting your next move. “Good boy,” you purr, reaching one graceful hand forward, playfully tugging at his tie, wrapping it around your knuckles as you use it as leverage to pull him close again.

You’re just so pretty, Jungkook has always thought so. From the moment he first met you until now, there is something about you—a glint in your eyes, a quirk to your lips—that has had him under your spell for weeks now.

Had Jungkook seriously despised you and your ethics, perhaps this feeling would have gone away. But the fact of the matter is that you make Jungkook’s heart hammer dangerously in his chest, a shot of adrenaline through his veins when you look at him with those low-lidded eyes, touch him with those experienced hands. He wants you so bad, even after all he’s learned, all he’s seen. He wants you over him and under him, pressed against him from head to toe. He wants and he wants, and he knows it’s bad to want so much, to be so greedy. But with you around, Jungkook finds himself giving into that greed, clutching at it like a lifeline. “We can, um—,” he stammers, placing one uncertain hand against the top of the door frame beside him. You raise your brows, egging him on yet patiently waiting all at once.

Your gaze is so strong, and it’s in moments like these that Jungkook feels that feeling crawl up his throat. A serpentine gaze, a sticky sweet tongue. Everything he’s ever known says it’s wrong, but his heart and your confession says otherwise. He looks away, throws a bashful glance at the plush leather seats behind him. “In… inside?”

And the offer has you positively beaming before him, that same flirtatious shimmer in your irises doubling at the words that roll off his tongue. “Oh my,” you swoon playfully, stepping back to, Jungkook assumes, allow him to get in.

He plops down, feels like he would break out in a sweat if the evening temperature wasn’t so cool. The car’s interior blends into the shadows, his clothing practically indiscernible against the dark shade of the seats. A stark contrast to the pretty floral dress that suddenly spills itself over his lap when you climb in, the door tugged shut beside the two of you. All is silent, your thighs over his, hands on his shoulders. “Hi, bunny,” you murmur, lips pulled into a smirk, provocative yet playful, like you know something that Jungkook doesn’t.

Jungkook’s throat feels dry but he still manages to gulp. He’s drowning in your perfume and your body lotion, in the faint smell of the outdoors clinging to your clothes and your hair, the absolutely heavenly scent of just you in your entirety. “Hi,” he whispers back, voice lost beneath the thundering of his heartbeat in his ears. And his quiet greeting is rewarded with two soft hands that crawl up his neck, cupping his face in their palms.

“You were so sweet today,” you purr, nose nudging against his when you finally lean in, pressing your breasts against Jungkook. A tiny gasp catches in his throat, his hands instinctively going to your waist. “Can I kiss you again?”

Jungkook has never wanted anything more. “Please,” he exhales, feeling like he’ll explode if you don’t kiss him soon. You take his request in stride, jut your face forward just the slightest bit until your mouth is pressed firmly against his, the movement of your lips a practiced rhythm that he just can’t seem to master. He still tries his best, puckers his lips when he feels it’s right, tilts his head when you urge him with a soft nudge. He tries his best and hopes it’s enough.

By now, Jungkook has come to understand that there is a pattern to your kisses. You always start off slow and relaxed, mouth languidly moving against his as you lure him across a tightrope of anticipation. They gradually become more intense, pulling out whimpers and sighs from Jungkook that he had never known were possible. It’s a carefully crafted art form, the tongue that slides out from between your pillowy lips, dips into his own mouth with a giggly pant. “Good boy,” you hum in between, hands burying themselves in the hair at the nape of his neck. “Always so good.”

Jungkook shudders when you eventually part, can’t catch his breath fast enough before you’re reaching for the buttons on the front of his shirt, easily undoing the casual tie too. “Relax,” you tell him, bypassing his lips for the warm expanse of skin just below. You kiss over his chin, down his neck, as your hands crawl beneath his shirt and around his naked waist.

He’s ticklish, and when you brush against his ribs, he unwillingly releases a sharp huff of laughter. It’s followed by a wide-eyed look of embarrassment, cheeks a warm hue when you lean back in surprise at this new bit of information. “I— sorry,” he blurts out, because he doesn’t know proper make-out etiquette, doesn’t know anything really, except what you’ve shown him.

But the sound makes you snort, looking at him with this gaze that drips with honey. “So cute,” you tell him, placing a chaste kiss against his lips, before disappearing back down to lavish his throat with filthier kisses. And with you laving your tongue across his skin, biting at every inch available, Jungkook is left to fuzzily stare over the crystal clear windshield. He’s struck with the faint realization that if someone were to look hard enough, they would see him through the tinted glass as he fell apart into the hands of a pretty girl.

The soft smack of your lips against his skin is sensual, makes every hair on his body stand stiff. Your lips trail down the column of his neck, placing a bruising kiss at the juncture where it meets the rest of his body. “Oh,” he sighs, eyelids fluttering when a hand squeezes at his chest, thumb against his nipple.

Another muffled giggle pressed against the base of his neck, and when Jungkook focuses his eyes again, he catches his own gaze in the rearview mirror.

The sight of him is… weird to say the least.

Even in the dark, his lips look thoroughly debauched, puffier and redder than usual, slick with saliva that isn’t entirely his. He doesn’t tell himself to, but his mirrored counterpart peeks his tongue out, runs it along his top lip sinfully. Startled by his own appearance, Jungkook jolts in place, feeling you shift in his lap with a soft little whine. “Bunny,” you frown, and Jungkook watches your side profile in the tiny mirror as you sit back up, press your lips against his ear. “Sit still for me,” you tell him, hand slithering up his chest, around his throat. Over his Adam’s apple, squeezing just the slightest. It’s not tight, but it knocks the air out of his lungs when he sees the action mirrored back at him on the reflective surface.

That familiar guilt sticks in his throat, evident when your hand slips away and he swallows harshly, the protrusion just beneath his skin bobbing up and down.

In the back of Jungkook’s mind, he can recall the religious story that surrounded this bodily feature; a sin and the consequence. A garden and a fruit, a beautiful woman by his side.

Your hand creeps down between your bodies, palming over his quickly fattening cock, and Jungkook swears he sees stars, a strained whimper escaping from his lips that you giggle at. “Oh my,” he huffs, clutching at the skirt of your dress. You nuzzle close again, pressing a tender kiss against the side of his neck.

Your hands are so soft and sweet, brushing over his cock like you’re simply caressing him out of adoration and not because you want him to cum, staining his seats and your dress. Either way, Jungkook can’t even begin to imagine what you must be thinking; before the date and his confession, he had been afraid that you would discard him. Maybe Jungkook wasn’t what you wanted, maybe he wasn’t what you needed. You were so confident in yourself and your actions, a stark contrast to Jungkook and his constant uncertainty, his fear of doing the wrong thing plaguing him at all hours of the day.

Even now, with your hands expertly tugging his zipper down, he finds himself going back to that story. That apple in the garden, the consequences it had hailed. Never mind the fact you’re on top of him, claiming to like him, with your hands touching every inch of his skin. He keeps looping back to that Biblical verse instead, thinks about it when your fingers meanly let the elastic band of his briefs snap against his skin. “Ouch,” he flinches, voice a soft whine. He turns too quickly and too suddenly, nose bumping against yours because you’re still so close.

You smile, puckering your lips for the lightest of kisses. It’s the little things like that that make Jungkook’s entire thought process stall, distantly aware of the fact that it’s, like always, you leading the majority of your encounters once again. Even during your picnic, it had been you who had practically held his hand as you navigated through basic information, asked for his favorite color and his favorite drink. Had it not been for your own proactive tendencies, Jungkook fears he would have never known your favorite color was pink or your favorite day of the week was Thursday.

It’s a fact that makes him pause, jaw tightening as he once again realizes how little effort he was putting into knowing you. For someone who claimed to like you a lot, he rarely did the work to prove it. Even now, he’s too unsure of who he is and who you are to indulge you properly, instead watching you lead the scene as usual. Before he can stop himself, a sigh is escaping his lips.

It must convey his emotions perfectly, because it’s enough to make your wandering hands pause by his waist. “Everything okay?” you ask, always knowing what he’s feeling. And it sucks that he couldn’t say the same for himself.

“N— Yes,” he rushes to say, looking up at you with round eyes, the moonlight painting half of your face a paler color than usual, the other side shrouded in darkness. It makes your eyes look darker, makes Jungkook gulp loudly when you turn those inquisitive eyes on him.

His answer doesn’t seem to convince you, and it’s with little to no hesitation that you sit back. It puts a distance between the two of you that Jungkook can’t say he’s a fan of. “Jungkook,” you say, voice stern yet warm, one hand reaching up to brush your knuckles against his cheek. “Tell me what’s bothering you?”

It makes Jungkook nervous. He knows he thinks too much. Part of him fears that oversharing with you will drive you away, put you even farther than you are now. Maybe next time it’ll be a room’s length away, a football field’s length away. And he doesn’t want that; he wants to hold you close, he really does. But there are traditions he carries and beliefs he holds dearly that make it hard for him to do so, as much as it pains him.

The only reason he knows he’s frowning is because you press your pointer finger against the corner of his mouth. You lean in close, nose bumping against his. It sends your scent billowing over him, makes him dizzy when he becomes aware of the hand he’s got on your bare thigh, the rumpled skirt of your dress pushed away. “Talk to me, bunny,” you murmur. You don’t make a move to kiss him, a fact that Jungkook feels both grateful and disheartened by. “Please?”

And he can’t deny you, not when you ask so nicely. You have this metaphorical grip on Jungkook, a tight hold around his throat that has made him act impulsively these past few weeks, desperate to be with you, to please you. Even now, despite how much he wants to withhold his thoughts, he finds himself quietly admitting them instead. “I want to know you,” he mumbles, unable to meet your eye. You don’t push him to. “I really, um. I like you, __. A lot.” It’s a repetition of his earlier confession. And still, it makes him nervous. A thumb brushes against his cheekbone, encouraging him to meet your solemn gaze even if it means being a blushing mess afterwards. “Before we, uh, do… things.”

His words may be choppy and incoherent, but you understand him all the same. “You want to go out some more,” you clarify, removing your hand from his cheek. The phantom trail of your fingertips on his skin remains, feels colder when you lean away to allow him some more space.

Jungkook nods quickly, hoping this rush of adrenaline might help him through this. He bites down on his lower lip, carefully analyzing your expression for any signs of disbelief or disgust. But all he sees is understanding, a cool expression that makes Jungkook’s heart thunder. “I…,” he says, glancing down at where he’s still got his hand on your naked skin. Something inside of him tells him to rub his thumb across it, an action he doesn’t think through until he hears a sharp inhale, watches goosebumps rise over the skin. “I’m sorry,” he rushes out, snatching his hand away before he can do something else of a similar sort. “I- I just—“ said hand now waves around wildly beside him “—I really like you, as a, um— uh. A person. And I—“ and this is where he becomes aware of his unbuttoned shirt and the way you’ve got your pretty pussy pressed against his thigh now “—I, um. I want to know me— I mean, you —better? More? Like—“

His embarrassing babbling is cut off with a gentle kiss to his lips. No tongue, no saliva. Just soft lips against his, a delicate hand against his shoulders. When you pull away, Jungkook unconsciously trails after the touch, eyes half-lidded and in a daze when you place a palm on his chest. “I got it,” you say, lips quirking into a tiny smile. “I want to know more about you too, bunny,” you admit, reaching for the front of his shirt. He watches on with flushed cheeks as you slowly button it up for him, finishing it off with a playful tap against the underside of his chin.

You glance out of the window thoughtfully. Jungkook is suddenly reminded of how pretty you are, your skin practically glimmering under the pale moonlight. It catches on your necklace, a thin chain with a cross on the end. If he focuses his eyes behind you, his own reflection stares back once more. Jungkook’s entire body threatens to lock up tightly, but a single kiss on the cheek from you interrupts the process. “Do you wanna date?” you ask, like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

Jungkook can’t agree fast enough. “I— yes,” he gasps, leaning forward too suddenly. It makes you flinch back in surprise, back pressing up against the driver’s seat behind you in surprise. You wouldn’t have fallen or anything, but Jungkook reacts like it was a serious possibility anyway, grasping at your waist and pulling you snug against him, soft thighs sandwiching his tiny waist. “Oh, God,” he frets, immediately moving to release you.

But you catch him with two arms thrown around his neck, pulling Jungkook close to you for another kiss. Deeper and… meaningful, your satiny lips carefully slotted against his. While it surprises him at first, Jungkook finds himself melting into it soon enough. This was okay, he tells himself, and for the first time in a few weeks, he finds himself believing it.

It was just kissing— intimate yet appropriate kissing —between two people who were seeing each other. Him, properly seeing you. His heart threatens to burst out of its cage for a second. It’s the first time since he’s met you that he can fully say he hadn’t felt nervous about his actions, hadn’t felt like he was committing some grave sin for chasing after your touch. It was just a kiss, simple and sweet, making both of you smile bashfully when you eventually pull away. There was no lying and no guilt, no tears and no stress.

It felt good.

#networkbangtan #bangtanhq #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook smut #jjk smut #jeon jungkook fic #jjk fic #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader smut #bts fic #bts smut #mine

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ptergwen · 3 years

Text

web of lies

take a leap. if you start to fall, the net will appear to catch you.

photographer!peter x journalist!reader || masterlist

w/c: 7.1k

warnings: swearing, one drinking mention, descriptions of anxiety, and angst if ya squint

summary: peter can’t stop holding your hands, betty and ned are the modern day bonnie and clyde, ned is a terrible guy in the chair, the osborn’s are up to something, and mj hates you all

a/n: y’all i’m super excited about this series like i haven’t had an idea i’ve really loved in months? so it’s good to be back !!! there are tons of things i have planned and i can’t wait to share them with all of you hehe i really hope you enjoy part one <3 happy reading

to be honest, which is what you do best, you’ve had a thing for peter parker your whole time at the daily bugle. you actually almost told him once.

a couple months ago, peter walked you home on a night you worked overtime. he’d came in last minute to leave some pictures on your boss’s desk. no one else but you was there, hunched at your computer in the dim office lighting. peter was pleasantly surprised to see you, yet concerned for your well-being. you had to put your finishing touches on a story.

he didn’t feel comfortable letting you travel alone at that hour. so, he went with you when you were ready. his company was more than welcomed. you told peter about your article while you two sat on the subway. he’d listened intently, your head resting on his shoulder and his arm around you. he made sure you got to your apartment building alright as well.

“hey, peter?” you’d asked, halfway up the steps. he was waiting until you were inside and safe to leave. “hm? you good?” he’d smiled sort of expectantly. “yeah. i... i wanted to say...”

your words got caught in your throat when he gave you the softest puppy eyes you’ve ever seen. you couldn’t do it. for some reason, you were too scared to confess how you felt. “thanks again for walking me home,” you’d settled on. he’d seemed disappointed that was what you wanted to tell him. nevertheless, he said not to worry about it before taking off.

that one moment perfectly captures it all; how yours and peter’s narrative plays itself out.

—

“we’ve got an update on hydra v. the people!”

“those freaky giraffes escaped the zoo... again.”

“shoot one more spitball and it’ll be your last.”

“does anyone have an aspirin?”

welcome to the daily bugle, where the chaos never ends and the calm never starts. you’ll find new york’s finest writers, publishers, and creatives of all kind right here. that would include you. you’re one of the top journalists in the whole building, according to mr. norman osborn. he’s the brilliant and slightly insane man who runs this place.

although it’s rare for someone in your field, you were hired straight out of college. norman read a few pieces you’d written and loved them so much that he offered you a job. full time, full benefits, no questions asked. there was something special about the way you wove your words together. your writing had its own voice. a strong voice, one the paper was severely lacking.

you’ve been with the bugle for just over a year now. it’s not the quiet, nine to five gig you were initially expecting it to be. you’re each very unique individuals in your office, and there’s never a dull moment because of it. your coworkers can be found hosting debates on the riskiest topics or tackling each other for blueberry muffins, and that’s just a regular tuesday. the place is stranger than strange. but, it’s become home.

thanks to mr. osborn being so accommodating, you actually settled in rather quickly. another big help has been the friends you’ve made. your first was michelle jones, who prefers to be called mj. she’s a fellow journalist with a wickedly dark humor that trickles into her writing. if you had to describe her in one word, it would be blunt. mj is as real as it gets, and also eternally loyal. she keeps her circle small, so you’re honored you get to be in it.

mj sits right next to you, which means you’re always talking through your days. that’s due in part to the way your office is set up. there aren’t any cubicles, tables and swirly chairs taking up their space instead. norman heard it was more progressive, probably from his son harry.

harry is about your age, only a couple of years older. he hangs around quite a lot, but doesn’t do much with his time besides that. according to norman, he’s still seeking out his passion. he’s banking on him finding a suitable career at the bugle. he’d like to pass this all on to harry some day, hopefully sooner than later. either way, you don’t mind having harry here. he’s super funny and friendly with everyone.

there’s also ned leeds, who’s an editor and reviews most of your pieces. he’s sweeter than candy, even when he’s ripping your grammar to shreds. on the rare occasions you’re not discussing breaking news, you two talk about movies. ned is a film buff and gives you the best recommendations. you’re convinced he was a critic in his past life.

last but so from least is peter parker. he only works for the bugle part time, since he’s still in school. you both graduated from your respective colleges the same year. peter wants to get his masters degree, though. he’s a photographer who’s aspiring to be a cinematographer. him and ned have their passion for the industry in common, and that’s what makes them such great friends.

you learned this and more from the times you and peter have partnered up on stories. he’s one of your best friends not only at the bugle, but in your entire life. the many long nights you’ve spent collaborating have brought you close to each other. they consist of drinking and deep talks, along with some actual work. he takes the pictures, you do the writing. you’ve been told you make a lovely pair.

peter says it himself, too. you’d like to believe he means it as more than coworkers. he’s so caring, and smart, and pure, and peter. yeah, you like him an awful lot. you can hardly stand the feeling of it sometimes.

the fact that you you haven’t come clean already is ridiculous.

“goddamn. not again,” you mutter out. “em, you better come look at this. it’s bad.” mj wheels over to you in her chair with a puzzled look. her eyes follow yours, landing on your computer. “leeds just sent this? to everyone?” she questions, your reply a short hum. you’re both staring daggers at the email your screen displays.

ned is responsible for assigning each journalist their own topics to cover. he’s been lacking a bit recently, having you write up think pieces on fluffy things. in other words, stuff that no one cares about. he asked you to compare oat milk and almond milk just last week. you’d hoped this week would be better, but here you are.

“this is ass. who does he think we are, buzzfeed?” mj scoffs at her own words. the daily bugle prides itself on being a reliable news source, on paper and tv. you’re starting to stoop down to the low level of your competitors. “he assigned me some tiktok dance trend. i’m not writing a single word about that app.” she sets her elbows down on the table, head in her hands.

“aw, why not? grandma mj isn’t down with the kids?” you tease and click out of the upsetting email. “i don’t write for kids,” mj deadpans. she pushes her glasses up on her nose. “what’d you get?” “the evolution of memes,” you gloomily reply. you’re surprised norman has been approving these topics. then again, ned is the head editor. he can do whatever he wants regardless of approval.

mj glares over at the kitchen, where betty brant currently resides. she’s making two hot chocolates instead of her usual one. “i blame her,” mj mumbles to you. your eyebrows furrow. “dude, what? betty is an angel. she doesn’t even work in editing.” betty is the bugle’s highest rated anchorwoman. her and her news team are on people’s televisions every night.

“no, but she has been spending a generous amount of time with leeds,” mj grumbles. she’s admittedly very nosy. the upside is that she tells you any juicy office drama there is. “my theory is betty’s making him give us crap stories so she can report the good ones.” she glances over at you to see what you think. “no way. that can’t be allowed... or legal,” you laugh back.

as if on cue, ned appears next to betty in the kitchen. he takes the extra hot coco that’s piled high with whipped cream. betty tucks a sheet of paper into his suit pocket and kisses his cheek, then he’s gone. you can only gasp as you watch this unfold. what has she done to poor, clueless ned?

“not such an angel anymore, huh?” mj smirks in satisfaction. “suddenly, she has red horns and a pitchfork,” you bitterly agree with your tongue in your cheek. betty waves to you two on her way back to broadcasting. mj gives her a fake nice finger wave, you ignoring her. “we can’t sit back and let this happen, em. we have to do something,” you decide. “let’s tell norman.”

uninterested, mj takes off her glasses and starts to clean them. “like he’ll believe us. yeah, golden girl betty brant is sabotaging the writer’s room,” she rewords her previous statement to put its stupidity in perspective. you throw your hands up. “she is, though! we literally watched it happen!” mj puts her freshly wiped glasses back on and sighs.

“i doubt norman would care, y/n. every newspaper to ever exist is corrupt somehow.” your pessimistic old pal has a point. however, you’re not so willing to accept it. “why can’t we be the first one that isn’t?” you offer a small smile. mj snickers, wheeling back to her own computer. “those are words of the innocent.” she’s already tapping her fingers across the keyboard.

“i thought you weren’t doing the tiktok piece,” you say under your breath. you’re slightly pissed mj turned you down, since she’s the reason you know about betty’s meddling. “i’m not,” mj answers sharply. “i’m gonna email quentin and ask if we can change our topics. happy?” quentin beck is another editor in the building. he’s not bad, but he is intimidating. no one typically goes to him as their first option.

“i’m thrilled,” you confirm and grin at mj to emphasize it. “thanks for stepping up. you’re forgiven.” “i didn’t realize i had to be sorry,” mj notes, this time in a playful manor. she shakes her head as she begins writing. “you and your morals.”

what you value most in your career is honesty, under any circumstances. of course, the other daily bugle writers are the same. norman strictly prohibits clickbait and crazy headlines because that isn’t real news. you leave that to companies like buzzfeed. you’re honest in the sense that you say whatever has to be said, what everyone else is too afraid to. you’ll speak your truth no matter who tries to stop you.

it didn’t used to be that way. there’s some childhood trauma that remains deep in the back of your mind. you’ve left that behind you now, having over a decade to cope with it. hey, they say the past is in the past. what’s important is your takeaway, that you would never let yourself or anyone else be silenced from there on out. never again.

quentin ends up giving you the okay to write different stories. he lets you and mj choose choose your own because he’s got “better things to do” and you’re “big girls.” what a peach he is. mj goes with how capitalism is continuing to provoke global warming. she has something to say about every major world issue, and you admire the hell out of her for it.

you’re a bit stuck when it’s time to write your article. it’s terribly ironic because you pushed for this. you aren’t too worried, though. the city is crawling with material, so you’ll find what you’re looking for eventually. lucky for you, some much needed inspiration comes skipping out of the elevator.

“morning, peter,” you hear liz greet him at the front desk. she’s your floor’s receptionist. her wisdom and patience keep this place going. “hi, liz. how’s it going?” he asks. “things have been quiet... mostly. can i do anything for you?” liz peers up at him. peter sports a shy smile. “uh, yeah. mr. osborn wanted to see me?” “right. hang on.” she nods, dialing his office phone number.

it’s endearing how peter calls him mr. osborn, seeing as the rest of you go with norman. he’s probably the politest guy you’ve ever met.

grinning, liz puts down the phone. “you can go in whenever you’re ready. good luck!” peter laughs nervously and turns to leave. “thanks, you too.” his face falls when he realizes his mistake. “wait, i- i didn’t mean to say that. that was stupid. you’re not-“ “it’s fine, peter,” liz reassures him. his anxiety makes him trip over his words sometimes. that, and he’s a bit dorky in general. you find it rather adorable.

you also wonder what exactly he needs good luck for. he’s not even supposed to be working today, so your curiosity as to what’s going on has been piqued.

“um, i’m gonna go now. bye!” peter rushes off, his face tinted pink from the embarrassing encounter. you’re hoping he’ll stop and talk with you for a little while, but he heads straight to norman’s office. your whole body deflates at that. mj notices from her peripherals.

“what’s the matter? missing your hubby?” she coos, her words dripping in sarcasm. “no,” you lie. “i’m... i don’t know what to write about.” ok, there’s some truth. mj gives you a couple pats on the shoulder. “ask parker for help. you two work... well together. don’t you?” this must be the zillionth time you’ve heard that.

“we do,” you murmur and glance at norman’s closed door. peter is hidden behind it. “i just don’t wanna bug him. he has finals soon, and whatever norman is putting him up to. it’s my job, anyway.” mj pokes your arm. “those sound like excuses to me,” she concludes, still jabbing at you childishly. “you really just don’t wanna tell him you like-“

“can you keep it down?” you hiss, yanking your arm back. “he’s literally right over there.” peter stands up and shakes norman’s hand. you catch it through the blinds on his window. “y/n, you were drooling over his mere presence only minutes ago,” mj prefaces, a smile pulling at her lips. “you can handle three little words. i like you, that’s it. spit it out already.”

you’ll never admit this to mj, but she’s right. you lost your momentum after your first failed attempt to say the three little words. you’re still not sure what stopped you. you’d shared the details of that faithful night with her, and she’s been pushing you to try again since.

the door to norman’s office opens, and out walks peter. he’s beaming after their conversation, which seems like a good sign. harry passes peter on his way in to pay his dad a visit. he claps him on the shoulder, peter happily accepting before continuing his stride back into the main office. it takes a moment to register that he’s coming towards you.

you quickly set your focus back on your computer so he doesn’t think you’ve been watching him. even though, you definitely have.

“y/n!” peter calls your name. he’s on the opposite side of your table, in front of you. “peter!” you match his tone. “i was just dropping by. i thought i’d say hey while i’m here.” he’s still grinning. “what’re you doing?” he looks cute as ever in an oversized and cream colored sweater. his curls are slicked back with a tad too much product, cheeks rosy. you gaze up at him when he rests his arms on the table.

“pretending to be productive,” mj answers for you, pressing her lips together. peter cocks his head to the side. “pretending?” “ignore her. she’s being a shit stirrer today,” you explain. “like every other day,” he jokes, earning a laugh from you. mj just tuts and keeps writing. “talk about me like i’m not here,” she mumbles to herself, then gets back into her article.

“anyways, i thought you didn’t work today?” you ask to take the attention off yourself. also, because you’re curious. “oh! get this.” peter perks up even more, if that’s possible. he has energy like no other. “you know alex in broadcasting? betty’s camera guy?” “what about him?” you wonder. “he called in sick earlier this morning, with the flu or something.” he’s oddly excited to announce this. that prompts you to make a funny face.

biting back another smile, peter elaborates. “mr. osborn needed someone to fill in for him, so he picked me. i’ll be here all week.” it makes sense, since peter knows how to work a camera and does so wonderfully. you give him a celebratory push at his chest. “peter, that’s amazing! this is the perfect way to transition from pictures to film, right?” he’s nearing his finals at school, which consist of more movie-like projects. the news will be great practice.

then, he’s off to hollywood. you’ll put that out of your mind for now.

“exactly! i think it’ll be a good place to start. the pay isn’t bad either.” peter wiggles his eyebrows at you, you giggling once again. you do a lot of that when he’s around. that’s going to be more often now. “plus, i get to see you. everyone wins.” he squeezes your hand that was just on him. your heart begins to thump. “except alex,” you challenge, playing with his fingers. “but, for real. i’m happy you get to do this and that we’ll be spending more time together.”

“thanks, y/n/n. me too.” peter grins and leans over, taking a peek at your computer screen. there’s a blank word document on it. “you never told me what you’re up to,” he chuckles. “guess mj was right... nothing.” “i’m always right,” she chimes in from next to you. you look between the two of them with a scowl. “i haven’t found my story yet. i don’t know, this never happens.” peter nods as you share your dilemma. “no good ideas are coming to me,” you murmur.

“they will. you have a way of attracting things.” he licks his lower lip, your heart completely stopping this time. “well, i gotta go set up for rise and shine with betty brant.” he waves his hand like he’s presenting his words. that’s what betty calls her morning news segment. “be careful with her. she’s being really sketchy these days,” you warn peter, mj grunting in agreement.

confused, peter purses his lips. “really? ned says she’s a sweetheart. they’ve been going out for a while.” mj pops her head up and adjusts her glasses. “did ned also tell you she’s bribing him to give her all of our scoops?” she’s asking rhetorically because she already knows the answer. of course he didn’t. “it’s one thing to not like her. you’re just making things up now,” peter huffs.

mj kicks your foot under the table. “i told you no one would believe us. not even peter gullible parker.” “it’s benjamin,” he corrects her. “whatever,” she brushes it off, resuming her work.

peter does tend to be sort of naive, to only see the good in things when there’s plenty of bad. you’re the same in that way, unless you hang around mj for too long.

“is that true? betty’s stealing your stories?” peter turns to you and asks. you gesture to your screen. “i don’t have one, so you do the math.” he hums sympathetically. he’ll listen to you, never mj. “i’m sorry. thanks for telling me, y/n. i’ll watch out for her.” he bends his fingers to look like goggles, putting them around his eyes. you sigh lightheartedly.

“are you twenty two years old or twelve?” mj remarks, but not without a comeback from peter. “you’re, like, eighty five. worry about that.” they’ve had this type of banter for as long as you’ve known them. it’s equal parts amusing and exhausting. “don’t be late on your first day.” you snap peter out of it with a knowing smile. he returns it.

“i hope something crazy happens so you can write about it.” he’s walking backwards now, towards the elevator. “see you later, pete,” is all you say back, yet another laugh threatening to escape you. “see you. bye, michelle,” peter says just to bug her. “it’s mj,” she groans without looking up. he shrugs. “not so fun, is it?”

after peter is gone, you try to get back into work. or rather, you try to start your work. what he said about you having a way of attracting things keeps ringing in your head. was he flirting? no, he couldn’t have been. peter parker doesn’t flirt. words aren’t his strong suit, and you have countless memories that prove this to be true. earlier with liz, for example.

you’re probably reading way into this. peter was simply doing what any good friend would do and gave you advice.

it’s late in the afternoon when anything worth mentioning happens again. peter is still with betty, as far as you know. they’re probably preparing for the nighttime news now. all you’ve done since seeing him is nibble on snacks and bug mj, who’s almost done with her story despite your distractions. this is really bad, considering your deadline to submit is at the end of today.

you’ve never missed a deadline.

mj emails her work to quentin while you repeatedly bang your head on the table. she hits send before deciding to entertain you. “whatcha doing over there?” she cautiously prompts, powering off her computer. “trying to get an idea. i’m desperate, if you couldn’t tell.” your voice is muffled. “i could.” mj grabs your shoulders and pulls you back so you’re sitting up. you childishly pout.

“y/n, the only thing that’s gonna give you is brain damage,” mj says sternly, then softens her tone. “why don’t you ask for an extension? norman gives me them all the time.” whining, you slump down in your chair again. “yeah, but you’re you! we do things differently, have different expectations put on us.” she’s back to cold mj after you say that. “alright. at least i did something today besides pine over that little-“

mj’s insult for peter is interrupted by harry. “ladies, what’s shaking?” he comes up to you two with a the hint of smirk on his face. you manage a nod to acknowledge him. “oh, hey... harry,” mj unenthusiastically replies. she’s the one person who isn’t really a fan of him. “not much. y/n was just having a tantrum.” “she was not,” you dismiss her. “it’s work stuff. you know your dad.”

harry clicks his tongue in a teasing way. “yep, the grind never stops in this joint. boss man is...” he does the sign for cuckoo with his finger. you laugh a little at that. “in a good way,” you add on. mj only watches you two, blinking blankly. harry gives you a definitive pat on the back. “before i forget, he wants to see you.” that gets mj talking. “norman?” she questions. “your dad?” you choke out at the same time.

“who else? he said you two have to talk.” harry flashes you a weary smile. “have fun in there, old sport.” you’re too busy biting the skin off your bottom lip to respond. “mhm... she will,” mj speaks on your behalf. even she sounds worried. saluting you both, harry leaves to go pester your other colleagues. you’re completely and totally fucked.

“that’s it for me!” you grin sarcastically, freaked out by harry. “i’m fired, aren’t i? i’m definitely about to get fired, and it’s all because-“ “relax!” mj cuts off your rambling. she reaches down and grasps at your wrists. “get it together, y/l/n. you’re the best we have, okay? you aren’t going anywhere.” your grin becomes a frown. “then why does norman wanna talk to me? and, why don’t i have a story?”

mj always has the answers, but this time is the execption. she lets out a breath. “i don’t know. you’ll go find out and tell me what happens.” there’s no use protesting. you’re going to have to face whatever you’re about to at some point. “ok,” you give in, defeated. “i’ll be back soon, i hope.”

the walk to norman’s office feels like a walk of shame. mj can do nothing but sit back and observe it. if this ends the way you think it will, you’ll be collecting your things and won’t ever return. norman is a kind man, and he’s usually pretty understanding. he doesn’t mind the workplace shenanigans as long as you get your job done. unfortunately, you haven’t today.

you hear your boss’s booming voice when you approach his door. inhaling deep, you knock on it, and the room goes silent. “come in,” norman responds after a few seconds. mustering up a smile, you open the door to be met with your doom. “hi, am i interrupting something?” you check. “not at all! you’re just the person i wanted to see. sit, sit,” he beckons you over. he’s not using his angry voice, so maybe you’re in the clear. you enter the room as told.

you’re shocked to see a terrified peter is already in one of the chairs. he visibly relaxes a bit now that you’re here. what the hell is happening? whatever you were expecting, this was the last thing.

taking the armchair next to peter, you sit facing norman’s desk. you nudge his arm to get his attention. his big brown eyes lock with yours. “what’s going on?” you whisper. “no idea,” peter whispers back. the two of you turn to norman again when he claps his hands. he’s plopped down into his cushy leather seat.

“so,” he begins, gaze flicking from peter to you. “you kids know why you’re here?” “is it because i missed my deadline?” you blurt out. you’re once again a nervous wreck. peter doesn’t speak, just winces. “not that. although, i did hear from ned that you turned down his assignment.” norman flicks at a post-it on his desk. “i asked quentin for one instead. me and mj,” you explain, peter’s eyes going wide.

“you talked to quentin? that guy’s bad news,” he murmurs to you. “how so?” norman questions, since it’s his employee. “he- he, um,” peter clears his throat before answering, “he’s super critical, you know? hates all my pictures.” “i love your pictures,” you assure him, the corners of his lips turning up. “your style is so cool. yeah, though. quentin’s pretty bitter.”

considering this, norman drums his fingers on the desk. “i’ll look into that. but, that isn’t why you’re here. i’m letting you off the hook this time.” your whole demeanor changes and a huge weight lifts off of you. “really? you are?” “i have a scoop of my own that i want you to cover,” he continues, peter bumping your knee happily. a toothy grin takes over your face.

“since peter will be sticking around for a while, i want him to join you.” norman waits a beat in case you have any questions. it’s been a minute since you last worked together. peter laughs in disbelief. “you want me to take over for alex and do this?” norman nods proudly. “y/n will need the extra hands, if you have them.” “yes, sir. i do,” peter immediately confirms. “my last class is next thursday, so i have the time.”

“wait, so you’re almost done? that’s awesome!” you bump peter’s knee this time. “yup, all that’s left is finals... and studying.” he mindlessly takes your hand, lacing your fingers together. you’re enjoying his gentle touches. “thank you so much, norman. seriously, i appreciate this a lot,” you tell him and mean it. “hey, no problem,” he chuckles at your eagerness. you grip peter’s hand tighter.

“what’s the story?” “ah, yes. the most important part,” norman starts, peter sharing an excited look with you. “how familiar are you two with spider-man?” his excitement fades at the question posed. it’s unbeknownst to you, caught up in the moment. “uh, same as everyone else, i guess,” you casually reply. “how come?” “he’s your subject.” norman points at you both. “you’re gonna study him over these next few months.”

peter’s hand goes limp in yours, and he gulps hard, throat feeling dry. “you mean, like, an exposé?” “no, no. there will be no exposing,” norman clarifies. “i’m sure he wears the mask for a reason.” that settles peter only slightly. you’re not sure why he’s so tense all of a sudden. “what’s our aim here, then?” you steer the conversation.

“see what new york’s favorite hero gets up to every day, how his life is beyond the crime fighting,” norman further describes your task. peter exhales a shaky breath, shifting away from you in his seat. the golden sun hits his face and reveals a bead of sweat dripping down it. you stare at his figure in worry. “you okay, peter?” “fine. i’m just... hot,” he murmurs back. his sweater does look pretty heavy, so you concede.

getting back to norman’s story, you grimace at the idea. “do you really think people will want to read that? for lack of a better term, it sounds kind of...” you pause. “basic.” “i thought the same thing at first,” he surprisingly agrees with you. “harry pitched the idea to me this morning. you won’t believe it! the other night, he caught spider-man hanging outside his window.”

“harry... harry saw him?” peter squeaks out. he uses the wool material that feels like it’s swallowing him to dab at his forehead. “he stopped on his balcony. must have been pretty late, the kid’s a night owl,” norman says about his son. your face lights up as you listen to him. “he took some shots of spidey in action, when he swung off. i saw a few. they were pretty great.” he’s grinning at his son’s success.

“maybe he’ll get into photography with you, pete,” norman suggests. peter gives him a weak smile in return. “we’d be happy to have him.” he usually has a lot more to say about his career than that. his behavior is starting to genuinely concern you. “anyway,” norman gets back on topic, “it got me thinking. how much do we really know about this guy? we’re supposed to blindly put our trust in him?”

you’re beginning to see the appeal now. you’ve written your share of pieces on the avengers and their methods, tackling the same questions norman just asked you. spider-man shouldn’t be overlooked, especially when he operates so close to your home. this could be another revolutionary superhero story in the making. and, you get to bring peter along for the ride.

“you know what? this has a lot of potential,” you smile at norman, then peter. he has his phone in his lap, fingers flying across the screen. it must be something important. you’ll discuss with norman while he takes care of that. “we could make it a weekly thing, about spider-man’s adventures. find out what we can about the man behind the mask...” peter shoots up in his seat. “without taking it off,” you finish, putting his mind at ease.

“see, i knew you were gonna love it! it was a blessing in disguise, you missing that deadline.” norman bangs his fist on the table with a hearty laugh. “what do you say, peter? you still in?” peter slips his phone back in his pocket. his tongue pokes out to wet his lips. “oh, of course. i can’t wait to work with you, y/n/n,” he speaks in a monotone voice, adding on, “again.”

something is definitely bothering him, and it isn’t the weather.

“i gotta go. betty needs me upstairs, so,” peter moves to get up, his body stiff. you assume that’s who he was texting. “thank you again, mr. osborn.” he’s rushing out of the room just like that, until you call after him. “um, don’t you wanna set a time to meet up? so we can get started?” you reasonably ask. “i... i really gotta go. find me later,” peter tells you, giving you both a tight lipped smile and running off.

“the dynamic duo is back!” norman announces to you. you’re disappointed you can’t share that sentiment with peter.

he’s absolutely booking it down the stairs, not bothering to wait for the next elevator. this is bad. this is a nightmare.

peter went from having one of his best days in a while to the worst in not even a full round of work. today started off fine, and got better when norman promoted him. it got way better when you came along. he saw your smile that makes his insides tingle, heard your laugh that’s the prettiest sound to grace his ears, held your hand that he never wants let go.

things went a bit downhill after that. betty was pushy and yelled at him a lot, demanding he only film her good angles for the segment. you and mj weren’t wrong when you told him to be careful.

later on when he saw you again, everything was okay. he was physically shaking as brad told him mr. osborn requested to see him. brad is mr. osborn’s assistant. a try-hard for sure, but good at his job. why did mr. osborn call him in? did betty complain already?

they’d been sitting in mostly silence, save for small talk until you came knocking on the door. simply being next to you was enough to ground peter and his racing thoughts. it was enough, then it wasn’t.

the whole day had gone to shit after he found out you were going to be writing stories about his alter ego. not only that, but he was helping. during the pitch, he’d texted ned to meet him in the bathroom. he was really anxious and needed a friend who understood why.

ned accidentally found out peter is spider-man last year. it’s a long story that involves peter hiding from some bad guys in the building and ned shrieking so loud the lights flickered. they’re cool now that peter talked things through with him. his secret has been kept, from what he knows.

pushing open the men’s bathroom door, peter is a mixture of sweat and ragged breaths. he’s panting from his fast descent down the staircase. he takes in his disheveled appearance using one of the mirrors. his styled hair is now damp and undone, hands trembling and palms sweaty, chest heaving. here’s his daily reminder that anxiety is not cute. as if he didn’t know.

his stupid, gigantic freaking sweater is only making things worse. it’s suffocating him. no one else is in here, so peter pulls it over his head and tosses it to the ground. he’s got a t-shirt on underneath that happens to be black. what a convenient day for him to wear the hottest material there is.

peter splashes his face with some cold water next to try and cool himself down. that doesn’t do much for him. his face still feels like it’s on fire, but now it’s wet. he takes his hands through his mop of curls, backing away from the sink.

“fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck,” peter repeats to himself. he’s silent for a moment, then rage overcomes him. he kicks open a bathroom stall. “shit! i can’t do this. what am i supposed to-“

the door creeks open, so peter shuts up in case it isn’t ned. it thankfully is, and he wears a deep frown at the sight of his best friend. “dude, what happened? you look...” “terrible. i know,” peter finishes for him. he tugs at his locks in another attempt to tame them. ned approaches him carefully. “you’re not, like, dying... are you? because betty was telling me you have to-“ “of course you were with betty,” peter exhales in frustration. “no, ned. i’m not dying.”

in ned’s defense, the text he received was very alarming. all peter wrote was, ‘EMERGENCY. SOS.’

“i mean, yeah. it was my break.” ned sits on the ledge by the window, close to peter. “you do the same with y/n.” the mention of your name upsets peter all over again. he hides his face in his hands as ned watches. “if you’re not dying, then what’s the problem?” ned finally asks. “me and y/n...” peter removes his hands from his face, meeting ned’s worried eyes. “mr. osborn wants us to do a project together.”

“uh, peter? you’ve been saying how much you miss her forever, dude! you’re not excited?” ned snorts at him. he means well, but he has no clue what he’s talking about. “no. it’s supposed to be about spider-man,” peter answers angrily. this isn’t the support he was hoping for. realizing the severity of the situation, ned gets serious.

“oh... but, you’re still doing it?” he questions. “i didn’t have a choice,” peter scoffs out. “i can’t let either of them down.” “you’ll expose yourself!” ned escalates things further. “it’s not like that. we’re gonna follow spider-man around and post updates on him,” peter says, technically in the third person. he’s given an are you insane? look from ned.

“you are spider-man! and, no offense, but you’re not so good at hiding it,” ned refers to himself finding out. “how are you gonna be in two places at once?” damnit, peter hadn’t thought about that yet. he can’t be taking pictures of spider-man and swinging from building to building simultaneously. “i- i’ll figure it out,” peter stammers, unconvincingly.

ned looks him over in a disapproving way. “jeez. you’re really putting your life on the line for this girl-“ “woman,” peter interjects, not loving ned’s attitude towards you. “have some respect.” unfazed, ned gets up from the windowsill. “speaking of women, remember betty? you’re still on the clock,” he changes the subject. peter nearly forgot he has to go film her segment.

“i’ll head up to her now,” peter gives in. he scoops up his discarded sweater, not bothering to check his appearance again. ned follows behind him to the door. “we wrote her script together, you know,” he gladly informs peter, who already knows from you. “not really a flex,” peter mumbles his response. “peter, lighten up.” ned hits at his shoulder. the two of them exit the bathroom.

“you’ll figure this out later. i can always help.” he shoots him a sugary sweet smile. “thanks, ned. for talking with me and everything.” peter doesn’t smile back. they do a quick bro handshake, then they’re going their separate ways. “have a good show, dude!” ned yells back, to which he doesn’t get a response. peter doesn’t have it in him.

he allows himself to take the elevator back up to broadcasting. he’s so drained from the several anxiety attacks he endured. while peter waists for the elevator, he contemplates all the issues he’d better solve. it’s a relief to hear it ding because it brings him back to earth. that doesn’t last long because both you and betty are there when the door opens.

you’d each had the same idea, to find peter. unlike betty, your intentions were good. you asked liz if she saw peter leave. she told you he went downstairs, so you did also. betty was already in the elevator when it got to your stop. she was looking for him because, you guessed it, he had to record the news. the small space was filled with tension as you and betty occupied it.

“perfect. we’re going right back up,” betty beams, motioning for peter with her index finger. “hop in!” “coming,” peter does as told, going to stand between you and betty. she presses the button for your floor and theirs. the doors close. “pete?” you speak up, voice soft. “you kinda ran off earlier. i thought you were with betty.” “clearly, he wasn’t,” betty sneers.

you’re less concerned with her and more with peter. the sweater he looked so huggable in is now folded in his arms, his face splotchy and jaw clenched. he must have gotten triggered by something back in norman’s office.

“are you sure you’re okay? you... you can talk to me about it.” you take a step closer to peter, your doe eyes searching for his. he meets them with a tiny smile. at least, it’s real this time. “i’ll be fine, y/n/n. ‘s nice that you came to check on me, though.” “don’t mention it.” your arms loop around his neck and bring him into a hug. peter hugs you back by your middle, chin resting on your shoulder, breathing out in relief.

you keep your hands on his shoulders when you pull back. his stay on your sides, a lopsided grin now crossing his features. “spider-man...” you quirk an eyebrow. “how are you feeling about that?” “should be cool,” peter somehow maintains himself. “i’m mostly looking forward to doing it with you.”

listening in, betty joins the conversation. “what’s happening with spider-man? anything i should know?” her hand reaches into her bag and emerges with a notepad. does she ever think of her own content? “she’s nothing if not persistent,” you grumble to peter. chuckling, he pulls you into his chest. if he didn’t hold you back, you would’ve pounced on her.

“we’re gonna do a piece on him,” peter tells her. “you can’t copy or steal this one because it’s already been approved,” you contribute, smiling smugly as peter holds you tighter. betty is taken aback. “are you accusing me of stealing? who said i-“ “ned ratted on you... sorry,” peter says in a sing song voice. squealing, you jump away from him. “he did? we were right?”

“mj’s never wrong,” he reiterates. “mj knew about this? oh my god, i can’t believe her!” betty stomps her foot. “we got you on candid camera.” you make a clicking noise with your mouth. peter mimes taking a picture to back you up. “alright, alright. i won’t do it again,” betty mumbles, turning away from you two in annoyance.

“finally!” you hold up your hand for a high five, which peter gives you. “we really do make the best team,” he hums. your fingers intertwine with peter’s, and he lays his palm flat against yours. he prays extremely hard you don’t notice that it’s sweaty. you do, but you couldn’t care less.

“i was wondering when you’d wanna start our... research?” peter asks you, his lip between his teeth. “you were saying something earlier. maybe we could make a schedule.” “how elaborate of us that would be,” you tease. that earns a breathy laugh from peter. with a knowing smile, you put your free hand back on his shoulder.

“what are you doing tonight?”

peter parker taglist

@saturnpeter @tpwk-grande @itstaskeen @missyouhollnd @becicamina @dummiesshort @zspideyy @watchitimreadinghere @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines @dpaccione @karispotters11 @theofficialzivadavid @thehumanistsdiary @kelieah @aayaissaa @petersgroupie @annab-nana @tayyx @swtltlmrvlgrl @magicalxdaydream @haoluvver @kjune113 @captainamirica @marvel-dork98 @emmastarz @killingbxys @viriditie @misshale21 @veryholland @liliswifts @tommydarlings @rebelemilu @peterspideysense @cr-uelsummer @dreamy-clousds @quaksonhehe @quxxnxfhxll @blackbat2020 @babyblue19 @falconxbarnes @zachary-s @dirtytissuebox @dracoswhore007 @heavenlyholland @thsquad @etheralholland @dhtomholland @awh-lilies @tomshufflepuff @multifamdomfan12

if i forgot you please lmk!

#peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker imagine #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker smut #spiderman #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic

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rcksmith · 3 years

Text

Invigorating — Five Hargreeves

Request : “Hii so i was thinking about some fic/headcanons where five discover that his powers are stronger when he is with reader.”

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here!!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

I hope I got close to what you wanted. I thought it was better to do it in fic, but it was just out of personal preference, I hope you like it, I found it very adorable to write. Love u❤️

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves/Fem! Reader.

Warnings: Nothing, just fluff.

— — — — —

The superhero life was a mess. Behind all the glamor of HQ’s and the romanticization of the media, there were only people trying to cope with their own lives when everything that was expected of them was nothing short of extraordinary. All the Hargreeves brothers knew this. And they carried the weight of the whole world on their backs. It was like trying to breathe with a rock pressed against your chest, purging all hope of relief.

They would never have a normal life, with normal parents or friends. They would always be chained to that sentence that came with their powers. Sometimes, late at night, some of the Hargreeves wondered how much smoother life would have been had they not been born extraordinary.

Five stopped imagining fantasies that would never come true from an early age. He viewed situations with objectivity, coolness and calculus. But life at the Hargreeves mansion was not easy and the only way for him to deal with the traumas and pressures was to push them under the rug. Then Five started to scoff when the brothers talked about having a normal life.

Who did they want to think about it? They would always be circus attractions. They would never have a normal life. So it was better to get over it, because you can't miss what you never had, and it was stupid want to live a false normal life. They would never be normal, it was the curse of the Hargreeves, and Five accepted that.

But you revoked all of his sentences. You were absolutely normal. Typical life, family, friends and routine. And when you came into the life of the Hargreeves and brought the breath of relief that everyone needed, Five felt that rock be lifted from his chest whenever you were close.

And then he knew normalcy. Five tasted the sweet taste that was enjoying a ray of sunshine, a summer breeze, a sunset, all the normal details that you inserted into his life and that now ... now he had something to miss.

During the months, your presence, for Five, was a sigh of relief amid all the claustrophobic, and he felt a certain envy when he saw how Klaus had a way with dealing with people. How he and Alisson always knew what to say, how to act, and how to captivate you to the point where you want to spend more time with them.

It was hell for Five. because you presence calmed all his nerves, your energy soothed the restless air and removed the rock that prevented him from breathing. Five realized how much he liked fresh air. And he didn't know how to make you want to be close to him too. He felt at peace when you were close. And it was an overwhelming discovery.

“Here it is.” You said, handing Five a mug of coffee, without him even asking.

That was one more thing that made you wonderful in his eyes. You two never had a long conversation, but you knew enough, and whenever you were in the kitchen, helping the Hargreeves for breakfast, you knew exactly what to give him.

Okay, to be fair, you knew exactly what to deliver to everyone. For Klaus, passion fruit juice and hangover aspirin, big and fat pancakes for Luther and Diego, Waffles for girls and strong black coffee for him. It wasn't like Five thought you were treating him in a special way.

But... whenever you gave him coffee and your midday sun smile, that was the best part of the day. And he wished, deep down in his soul, that it was special.

He nodded his head. And he drank the coffee knowing that the taste would be nothing short of excellent. Five concluded that you had a habit of turning everything you touched into gold.

“Are you going to see training today to wait for us?” Alisson asked you.

It was Friday, and Alisson, Klaus, Vayna and you had agreed to go shopping after them training. It was not new you and them to go out together, but it was new for you to watch their training. It was nothing formal, just routine, so it was easier to wait for them finishe than you to leave and return.

“If it's okay with you guys.”

The brothers agreed and Five thought it best not to show any reaction. He told himself it was because it didn't matter whether you saw a workout or not, but, deep in his soul, Five knew it was for fear that if you focused your attention on him, you would end up listening to him fast heartbeat.

But if he knew that everything would start in that training, he would have thought twice about going.

You were sitting on one of the mats in the garden, sometimes reading something on your phone while the brothers practiced the training. It should have been routine for them, as usual, but they all had difficult missions last night and felt exhausted to do their best.

Five came to know his own limits, he knew when his body was entering the last reserves and that it would no longer hold its powers. It was like a big battery that he needed to recharge to keep working. He felt the sting in his muscles, a warning that Five came to understand that signaled that his powers were going to fail.

Five was already orchestrating strategies to dodge Diego's knives when, already knowing that it wouldn't work, he tried to teleport. But the blue flash swallowed him up and when he took him behind his brother, and Five felt his muscles revitalized, the shock left him stunned.

It had never happened. But it hasn't happened again in weeks too.

Five spent days trying to understand how his powers took a turn and then retracted the same stake when he trained again. The bite always hit him in the muscles and then his powers left him in the hand. Five could no longer find the invigorating sensation that followed the hooks.

The second time his powers got stronger was when Luther was pissing him off. They had arrived from an exhausting and difficult mission, and that time you asked them to come to your apartment for dinner. Because you knew that the negativity of the mansion would not do well for a situation that had already brought out the best in the Hargreeves. Always the good person. You knew how to alleviate a situation with the smallest of gestures, and it made you look wonderful again in the eyes of Five.

After dinner, Luther was teasing Five, throwing cushions at him across the room, while everyone talked and rested in the living room. You made them feel like it was just a normal end of day. That they were just tired after work, traffic, and not because they were damn superheroes who fought a nuclear leak and terrorists. It seemed to Five that everything was easy and charming with you.

Then, when Luther threw another pillow at him, and Five felt the sting in his muscles, but tried to teleport to strike back anyway, the invigorating air ran through his muscles and the blue flash swallowed him.

Once again, Five was surprised. And suddenly, he forgot why he teleported.

His mind hummed like a propeller, trying to understand what the hell was going on. And that's when his eyes were drawn to you, like magnets.

The world was seemed to run out of breath, the atmosphere slowed and he followed every move you made until your eyes met his. It was instantaneous. A hot desert wind swept Five from head to toe, and brought the hot, overwhelming thought “It's her.” You were doing it. You were the one who left him invigorated. You removed the rock from his chest and he could breathe. His powers were reacting to you, and the realization it that stunned Five.

You smiled for him and went back to talking to Vayna, oblivious to the overwhelming discoveries that flooded Five.

The third time your presence showed that his theory was right was when you two were alone. It was Tuesday night. You were making cocktails with Klaus and laughing when he gave his verdict:

"I am happy that you are beautiful and intelligent enough to know that you must think about several other professions, because you would definitely make a terrible bartender." Klaus put aside a drink you made after making a face.

You laughed, throwing an olive at him.

“Why beauty would help me?”

“Prostitution, perhaps.”

“KLAUS!” You looked at him with amused indignation and you two laughed out loud.

“I'm going to get something good. Don't get out of here.” He stood up, taking his coat.

“Be careful!”

“I always do, baby.” He shouted at the door, leaving.

You laughed at nothing, cleaning up the mess you had made on the counter, throwing the used lemons in the trash.

That was when Five appeared. The mission mask on his face, the uniform slightly scorched.

“Hey.” You smiled as soon as you saw him, your heart beating faster. “All right?” You pointed to his clothes.

“Fire” Five say, sitting on the stools at the counter you were on and opening the bottle of vodka.

You gave him a glass, and Five thanked him silently while filling a shot and turning it all over at once. You couldn't get your attention off him. His hair was black as the background of the galaxy, his lips were red with drink, the mask adorned his eyes. God, he was beautiful and you felt that you could no longer reason consistently.

This always happened when Five was involved. He is a god of Olympus who had the power to destabilize you with just one look. Now, however, the mask delivered that he could swing you just in the presence.

In fact... that mask just made everything more mysterious and attractive. You felt something humming inside you, like a harp string that connects your heart to your belly.

“What?” Five's voice brought you out of the trance, revealing that you were looking at him for too long.

“N-nothing” You tried not to blush.

You turning around to put away the other bottles that Klaus and you had removed. But the floor was damp from the melted ice cubes you both dropped. And you was so stunned that you slipped.

As soon as the world spun and the wind hit your face, you were prepared to fall to the ground when a blue flash protected you and firm arms held you.

The breath drained, the callus increased, and Five was absolutely sure that it was you who made him stronger. You were the one who reinvigorated his powers because when he came out of that fire, the sting in his muscles hit him hard, and he knew he hadn't been able to use his powers anymore.

But when you looked up at him, and Five felt your warm skin on his hands, he knew he couldn't stay away from you anymore. He thought about doing something, his body was screaming for you, but he didn't have a chance. Your fingers touched the corner of his mask, gently contouring the left edge.

“You're Gorgeous...” Your whispered was a breath, but Five could hear.

Then he leaned over and pressed his lips to yours, because he felt he couldn't live any longer if he didn't. And when you kissed him back, his whole battery was recharged and that rock that was choking him was destroyed in millions of pieces.

As soon as you were apart enough to breathe, your fingers removed his mask and curled your fingers in his black hair. And this time, it was you who brought your lips together in the most passionate kiss.

#five fanfiction #five hargreeves #five hargreeves smut #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves x you #five x reader #five x y/n #five x you #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves imagine #number five fanfic #number 5 imagine #number 5 x you #number 5 x reader #number five x you #number five x y/n #Five Hargreeves x y/n #Tua fanfic #tua five

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aomine-ryo · 3 years

Note

Please do a scenario for the GOM reacting to their figure skater gf. Thank you 💜 I love your blog btw, its nice to see that the knb fandom is still alive. My heart is patiently waiting for a season 4 huhuhu 😭

Omg i will die if there’s ever a season 4. Also this was such a cute idea and I made Kise’s one so long and tbh it’s a concept for a wholeass fic lmao. Anyways, hope you like it xx

Scenario: GOM with a figure skater s/o

Kise

You and Kise had only been dating for a few weeks so there was still so much to learn about each other. Everyday there was something new that he learned about you that made him fall in love with you more and more. Even the smallest little things about you sparked his interest. Just the other day, he had a whole moment when he found out you liked the same cereal as he did.

Of course, him finding out you did figure skating elicited a bigger reaction from him than just liking the same cereal. It was just another Tuesday for you when your school day finally approached it’s end. Just you were heading out the school gates, you spotted your boyfriend standing and waving with a big smile on his face.

“Ryouta!” you squealed as you ran into his arms. “What are you doing here?” you questioned, not used to seeing him here since he was in a different school.

“I came to surprise my lovely girlfriend and invite her on a date of course,” he replied sweetly.

“Oh,” you said, your smile faltering as your shoulders dropped in evident disappointment. “I appreciate it, but I actually have practice today.”

“Practice?” Kise furrowed his brows. “Practice for what?”

“I have figure skating practice today. I usually head to the rink after sch—“

“You figure skate?” Kise exclaimed rather loudly; you were quite sure the whole street heard him.

“Yeah I do,” you giggled at his excitement.

“Y/N-cchi, how come you never told me? Can I watch your practice?” he asked, wide-eyed.

“You really want to watch? It can get a bit boring,” you asked.

“Of course I want to watch!” he beamed as he took your hand in his. “Lead the way.”

Grabbing a snack from a grocery store on the way, the two of you headed to the rink, where your coach was waiting for you.

“Woah, you get this while place to yourself?” Kise said breathlessly when you entered the chilly arena with skates in one hand and Kise’s palm in the other.

“Sometimes other people train here too, but today seems like it’s just me,” you shrugged.

You and Kise moved to the stands so you could get your skates on before you got onto the ice. After warming up for a bit, your coach went over your usual drills before you began to rehearse your routine that you were practicing for an upcoming competition.

Meanwhile, Kise was watching you wait nothing but intrigue in his amber eyes. Even while you were just doing your exercises, he found you absolutely graceful. Needless to say, when he finally saw the routine, he was over the moon. He had to hold himself back from hooting and cheering during it in case that threw you off. He was so excited in fact, that he had moved from his seat in the stands to the area right by the rink so he could get a closer look. His eyes never left you for even a moment.

Once your practice was over, you skated over to the edge where Kise was bent over the rails. “Well, boring isn’t it?” You said to him.

“Are you kidding me? You’re mesmerising! My Y/N-cchi is so talented,” he said, stealing a quick kiss from your lips.

Caught up in the moment, you didn’t notice your coach make his way over to you two. “You must be Kise,” he said, holding his hand out for the blonde to shake.

“Yes I am. Y/N-cchi’s been talking about me, haven’t you?” Kise inferred, throwing you a cheeky grin.

“Y/N’s mentioned you a fair few times,” your coach chuckled. “It’s your first time here isn’t it?”

“Yeah it is,” Kise nodded.

“Well, Y/N seems to do much better when you’re here. You should visit more often,” your coach said, making you want to crawl in a hole out of embarrassment.

“Is that so? I’ll do that for sure,” Kise laughed. “I was thinking that I should pick up ice skating too— just casually though.”

“Really?” you asked, eyes lighting up.

“Yeah, we could do a routine together if you’re up for it. Let me get the basics down first though,” Kise suggested.

“I can give you a few pointers if you need any. If I think your routine is good enough, maybe I’ll enter you two in a competition,” your coach said.

You were excited now; Kise was a quick learner so there was no doubt that you’d be practicing with him in no time.

A few months went by and Kise was attending almost all of your practices with you. He’d gotten quite good at it too— there were still a few falls that were absolutely hilarious because he’d whine every time, but for the most part he was much better than most amateurs.

Your coach was very amused by his progress too. “A basketball player and a figure skater in one— you don’t see that often,” he’d chuckle.

Figure skating was never something Kise saw himself doing. But looking at how beautiful you looked when you skated, an eagerness was lit up in him. No matter how hard he’d practice, he knew he’d never match up to you. There was something about the way you moved so gracefully that made him feel like whatever he attempted was inferior. He wasn’t complaining though— he was doing this for fun after all. Plus getting to see you move like that was a privilege enough.

Moreover, skating with you allowed him to spend even more time with you, and that time only increased when you two got serious about your routine as partners. Neither of you were expecting to win the competition, but you were certainly having fun in the process.

Eventually the day came where you were in an official arena with Kise. Sliding onto the ice with someone was a strange feeling as someone who was used to competing individually. In a way, it was reassuring. Kise held your hand tight as you got into position in the centre of the rink.

“Ryouta, I’m actually kinda nervous,” you muttered to him.

Honey eyes looked at you softly as your hand was squeezed even tighter. “Don’t be— I’m here with you, every step of the way,” he whispered. “Besides, you can’t possibly look worse than me.”

You felt the tension ease a little as you let out a giggle. “If we go down we go down together, I guess,” you shrugged, the idea bringing you a strange comfort.

“Exactly,” Kise smiled. He looked to the side and spotted the technician giving you two a thumbs up. “You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you replied.

Kise nodded in confirmation before letting go of your hand and getting into position. “We got this.”

Midorima

Midorima loves you; he loves everything you do. Even if you murdered someone, he’d probably still love you (though he’d probably scold you while he helps you hide the body— but let’s not get into the specifics of that). Needless to say, he absolutely adored watching you skate.

Midorima is a busy person though, so it’s hard for him to find time to watch you as much as he’d like. Every time he did get the chance though, he was absolutely mesmerised, as though he was experiencing it for the first time all over again.

He’d never forget the first time he saw you skate though. You’d just begun dating and you had a competition that you invited him to. He wanted to meet up with you before it started, but his basketball practice ran on for longer than he expected. For a moment, he thought he’d miss it all together, but after a quick train ride and a lot of running, he made it just in time for your slot.

Admittedly, Midorima was really unfamiliar with figure skating. He told himself that he’d read into it since you were a skater yourself, but he never got the chance to. He made his way into the crowded stands and found himself a seat, feeling rather out of place considering he was still in his bright orange tracksuit. He didn’t dwell on it for too long though because his attention was quickly drawn to the ice that you were gliding onto.

For a fleeting moment, his jaw dropped. You looked gorgeous. The confidence you seemed to have as you got into position was a side of you he’d never seen before. It was like a different person altogether. Your name was announced in the speakers, eliciting a cheer from the crowd following by a small chatter that snapped him out of his trance for a moment. The music began to play and the crowd died down as all eyes were on you.

Right off the bat, you moved with purpose. Blades gliding on the sleek ice with such grace as your body swayed to the music. The moment you landed your first triple axel, Midorima was sure of it— this was your element. Completely lost in your routine, Midorima’s breath was taken away. And when it finally ended with a loud cheer from the crowd, he was left amazed. When his horoscope placed Cancer in first that day, he didn’t think he’d be so lucky to see something this gorgeous, but here he was.

He quickly rushed down the stands to meet up with you the moment he pulled himself together. As you were taking your skates off, you spotted him approaching you almost immediately— I mean, how can you not notice the 6 foot tall, green-haired man?

Your face lit up in an instant as you ran over to him barefooted and leaped into his arms. “Shin! You made it!” you exclaimed in glee.

“Well, I couldn’t miss a performance that good, now could I?” he said with a soft smile as he hugged you tight.

“You liked it? It wasn’t really my best score, but it’s up there,” you said, composing yourself and pulling away from him.

“I don’t really understand the scoring system, but you were phenomenal— really. I could watch you do that all day if I could,” he said genuinely.

“I don’t think I have the stamina to be skating like that all day,” you giggled. “But thank you, it means a lot.”

After that day, Midorima did his best to free up some space in his schedule to watch you practice. Seriously, he was addicted to watching you skate. It blew his mind every time. Of course, he’d be there for every single competition, cheering you on because he was now without a doubt, your biggest fan.

Aomine

“Competition? What competition?” Aomine questioned one day as the two of you walked to school together.

“Have I not told you before? I figure skate,” you said simply.

Aomine stopped in his tracks for a moment, catching you off guard as you stopped too to see what had happened. He just stared at you with a baffled expression. “You figure skate?! That’s fucking hot! Why haven’t you told me before?” Aomine exclaimed.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Well I’m telling you now. I’m guessing you’ll be there tonight then?”

“That shouldn’t even be a question,” Aomine shook his head as he took your hand in his and continued walking. “Are you any good?” He asked.

“Well, I’m good enough to be in a competition, aren’t I?”

“True. I bet you’re great at it; you’re great at everything,” Aomine said.

“That’s not true,” you replied.

“It is.”

“So you’re saying I’m great at basketball too?”

Aomine visibly hesitated as he thought back to all the times he tried to teach you how to play. “Uh, yeah sure, let’s say that,” he lied.

“Shut up,” you laughed, playfully punching his arm.

For some reason, Aomine would not shut up about you being a figure skater for the rest of the day. You were trying to have a conversation with Momoi when he intervened, “Did you know Y/N’s a figure skater? How cool is that?”

“Yes I did know, Dai-chan. I’m guessing you told him about the competition today?” Momoi said returning her attention to you.

You nodded in response but Aomine stood there, slightly offended. “You told her but not me?”

“I just assumed you knew,” you shrugged, finding it quite cute how he was so invested in your sport.

“You shouldn’t assume I know anything,” Aomine said, making both you and Momoi roll your eyes and laugh at him.

Eventually, evening came and you were in the waiting room with your coach, with your eyes glued on the screen that broadcasted the current participant as you mentally prepared yourself for your turn, which was creeping up upon you. Meanwhile, Aomine was seated in the audience with Momoi, being as impatient as ever. “When is Y/N coming?” he yawned.

“Y/N should be up next,” Momoi informed as the song slowly reached its end.

The crowd cheered and a chatter started once again as everyone waited for the next person to take the ice. It took a few more minutes, but you finally entered the rink, skating to the center to get into position.

Almost immediately, Aomine’s jaw dropped. You looked stunning. The way your suit dazzled and clung onto your body was pure art. He swore that he fell in love with you all over again just at the sight.

The music began after a nod of confirmation from you and your skates began to roam the ice ever so smoothly. Aomine was blown away. You were nothing like the previous participants. The way you moved was so clean and purposeful. With each spin and leap, Aomine’s heart skipped a beat— you had his complete attention.

He was quite sure Momoi was talking to him, but he didn’t hear a word. For some reason, everything else around him seemed to fade out as he watched you skate, almost like he was stuck in a trance.

He was finally snapped out of it when the routine came to an end, leaving him at a loss for words as he joined the crowd in their applause.

You made your way off the ice and headed back inside towards the changing rooms, where you ran into Aomine and Momoi in the hallways. “Oh hey guys, what did you think?” You asked as you rotated your ankles nonchalantly to relieve them from the slight soreness you felt.

“You were so so good, Y/N. Dai-chan was so silent during the entire thing, I think you hypnotised him or something,” Momoi joked as she nudged Aomine’s arm playfully.

You turned your attention to your boyfriend, who was rolling his eyes at Momoi’s comment. “Well, was that performance worth all the hype you seemed to have?” you asked him.

“Of course it did. You did so well out there— not to mention the fact that you look incredible in that suit,” Aomine said, still unable to take his eyes off of you.

“Aw really?” You smiled.

“Yeah, you look fucking hot,” Aomine responded confidently.

You couldn’t help but giggle before you got on your toes to place a kiss of gratitude on his cheek, making him flustered. “Well, thank you Daiki— it means a lot.”

Murasakibara

You won’t be able to find someone that loves you more than Murasakibara does. Really, you won’t. He loves everything about you. Your smile, your looks, your mind, and even your hobbies. As someone who doesn’t really take much interest in other people, it was a brand new feeling to be absolutely smitten over you. But he was dedicated.

The two of you were still getting to know more about each other in the first few weeks of dating and the topic of sports came up. “Do you play any sports, Y/N-chin?” Murasakibara asked you during one of your video calls at night that he liked to have when he had nothing else to do.

“Yeah, I’m actually a figure skater,” you replied.

Murasakibara’s eyes lit up. “Really? That’s so cool. Do you go for practice and stuff?”

“Yeah, duh. I practice almost everyday.”

“No way. Can I come watch your next practice?” he asked.

“Sure, but I feel like you might find it boring,” you said hesitantly, knowing that you wouldn’t want to sit there for hours doing absolutely nothing but watch.

“Well, I guess I’ll find out,” Murasakibara said surely. “Do you have any videos of you skating?”

“Yeah but they’re not on my phone.”

“Send them to me, I wanna see you skate.”

You giggled. “Atsushi, you’ll see me skate at practice, can’t you wait until then?”

“No, I can’t wait. I bet you look really cute when you skate,” he said as brought another potato chip to his mouth.

“Well, you’re going to have to wait because I’m not sending you anything,” you said dismissively.

“How mean,” he pouted.

Luckily, you managed to change the topic of the conversation before he could beg of you any more. The day for your next practice came and Murasakibara was brimming with excitement as you two entered the arena.

After instructing him to sit at the stands, you took to the ice where you started with the warmups that your coach told you to do. Practice went on and Murasakibara gave you his full attention— which is an incredibly rare sight.

As he watched you stretch and leap and fall, he couldn’t help but be impressed. He certainly could never be able to do any of the things you were doing— it looked exhausting. Something about the way you moved had him captivated though. You looked like you were having fun. No matter how many times you’d fall or mess up, you always seemed passionate about it and that was something he envied ever so slightly, but at the same time he found it such a lovely sight.

You truly loved the sport, he could see it so clearly. And automatically, he had a newfound interest in it too. It wasn’t that he wanted to try figure skating himself, it was just the fact that he loved seeing you so happy that he began to enjoy the sport too.

“I’m surprised you haven’t fallen asleep yet,” you said to him jokingly once your practice came to an end.

“Well, you were just that good— you had my full interest,” Murasakibara shrugged.

“Really? I didn’t expect you’d enjoy it that much,” you said.

“I did. I might just watch all your practices from now on.”

“Sure you will,” you said sarcastically.

Little did you know, that he would actually do just that. At almost every practice, he’d be seated in the stands, eyes full of admiration as he watched you. He would often bring you little snacks that you liked so that you’d have something to eat after practice. There were times where he’d be extra tired, but he’d still make it to the rink, even though you’d tell him countless times not to feel obligated to watch. It usually ended with him falling asleep halfway through, but he never regretted it. It was always nice waking up to the happy face of the person he admired.

Akashi

Akashi was well aware that you were a figure skater before he began dating you. Of course, he’d never seen you actually figure skate, but he knew random things about almost everyone around him and being interested in you only made him want to get to know you more.

Akashi is a very supportive boyfriend to you, especially when it comes to your passions. Figure skating was a very beautiful sport in his eyes and the fact that the person he was dating was a figure skater was something he’d never get over.

Being the calculating person he is, he decided to take you ice skating on one of your first dates with him. It wasn’t a particularly busy day at the public ice rink so Akashi got quite lucky when the two of you got there and realised that the place was practically empty.

“Looks like we got the whole place to ourselves,” Akashi said as the two of you slid onto the ice, hand in hand.

“Yeah, it’s quite nice actually,” you smiled, appreciating the serenity of the place. “It’s kind of making me want to do a routine or something,” you thought out loud.

“Then do it.”

“No, we’re on a date, we should just skate together,” you shook your head.

“No, I insist. I’ve been wanting to watch you skate for a while now, and the opportunity finally came,” he said. “Besides, it’s just one routine, shouldn’t take too long, right?”

You let out a sigh as a soft smile spread across your face. “Yeah, I suppose,” you shrugged. “But don’t expect too much— I’m not in the most comfortable of clothes right now.”

Akashi chuckled. “No judgement from me. I just want to watch you skate.”

“Alright,” you smiled as you skated over to the centre of the rink.

Akashi stepped out and leaned against the rails to watch you from the sidelines, barely able to contain his excitement. There wasn’t any music playing so all you could hear was the sound of your blades against the ice, echoing throughout the arena. However, that didn’t stop Akashi from being fully immersed in your skating.

He was blown away by the way you skated, especially considering that he sprung this on you out of the blue. Every movement was precise and refined; he could tell that you’ve practiced to perfection and he was impressed. In fact, seeing you move so flawlessly had him swooning over you more than you could possibly imagine.

Eventually, you came to a halt, your breathing heavy after the spins and jumps, though you were quite satisfied now that you got it out of your system. Akashi returned to the ice with a smile on his face. “That was outstanding, Y/N,” he complimented.

“Really? You liked it?”

“Of course I did. It all seemed so professional— you really practice a lot, don’t you?” he pointed out.

“Yeah, I have been for years,” you nodded.

“Well, you’re absolutely stunning on the ice,” he said genuinely as he placed a kiss on your forehead and took your hand in his. “Shall we get back to our date now?”

“Yes, yes, of course.”

As much as Akashi would have adored to watch you practice everyday, the times often overlapped with his basketball training— though he did make it a habit to meet up with you afterwards so that he could walk you home (like the gentleman he his). Even though he was a busy person, he always attended your competitions without fail. He’d always send you a bouquet of flowers before your competitions as well, with little notes wishing you good luck and it would melt your heart every single time.

#kuroko no basket #kurokos basketball #generation of miracles #knb #kuroko no basket x reader #aomine daiki #kuroko tetsuya #akashi seijuro #murasakibara atsushi #kise ryouta #midorima shintarou

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