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nanatsumu · 3 years

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HIGH SCHOOL!SUKUNA x F!READER

thinking about bad boy itadori sukuna who all the kids at school try to steer clear from because they know he’s bad news and if you get involved with him then you’re bound to be tied with bad luck for as long as he lives. well, that is everyone except for the president of the student council who so happens to be his childhood best friend turned lover.

this is mostly written for my own self indulgence and to project my fantasies of having a boyfriend onto sukuna but feel free to treat this as any other headcanon! ps i am pretty sure canon sukuna would kill a baby at any given situation, but this is going to be a revamped version of sukuna written by yours truly ;) and its a high school au so sukuna won’t be a complete menace to society and will actually have a heart heh

also i didn’t realize how long this was going to be??? this is kind of all over place too because i just wanted to throw all of my thoughts onto this post so there might be some plot holes in this LOL

i feel like sukuna would be the type of bad boy who isn’t necessarily a bad boy but everyone at school just paints him as some kind of delinquent because of all the tattoos and piercings he has.

he actually shows up to school more often than you think he would (but that’s only because you’re in most of his classes so long story short: you’re his only motivation for attending class)

“forgets” to bring his work books to class more than usual (in reality he does this on purpose so he has an excuse to be near you) so he requests to sit next to you the entire class period so he can share with you for the meantime but whenever the teachers not looking he’ll go back to admiring your face.

his older twin brother, itadori yuji, is very fond of you since you three grew up together and you both had your chances of being a victim to his antics!

exhibit a: in middle school when you and yuji were watching tv together, the show you two were watching would keep switching to some wrestling match broadcasting on a sports channel and no matter how many times you turned the tv on and off, it just would not stop. but it wasn’t until you heard snickering from the kitchen that you realized sukuna had a spare remote and was the mastermind behind the whole thing.

exhibit b: sukuna and yuji’s mom was the owner of a bakery so every now and then she would have either one of the twins come deliver freshly baked pastries to your household! oh how wrong was she to trust her youngest. sukuna was now a freshman in high school, and by now you would’ve thought that sukuna would have grown out of his childish phase, but WRONG! sukuna was still a menace in your life even past childhood. so when you bit into one of the macaroons, instead of being hit with the overwhelming taste of [favorite flavor], all you could feel was the burning sensation of wasabi kicking into your tastebuds.

yeah after the whole wasabi macaroon freak accident, you stopped accepting everything sukuna offered to you and opted to only eating pastries out of the boxes that yuji delivered to you. (sukuna eventually caught onto this and was just TEENSY bit upset but he would rather down a whole tube of wasabi than to tell you upfront)

now, how did you two even end up dating??? oh boy now that is a story

you see, yours and sukuna’s dynamic growing up was similar to that of tom and jerry’s— you being jerry and sukuna being 10x worse than tom of course

but it wasn’t until a confession after school behind the cherry blossom tree that was known for bringing good luck to successful confessions that sukuna finally realized that maybe he really did like you just a little lot bit

sukuna overheard the boy who was planning on confessing to you talking to his friend group about how “sweet and caring” you are (although sukuna could argue otherwise, you were a little brat. *LIKE HELLO?!&:&:& YOU WEREN’T THE ONE WHO ATE A MACAROON FILLED WASABI**) and obviously his ears perked up at the mention of your name. he grew up with you after all so naturally he would be interested in a conversation that revolved around you.

but then the boys started going on about how “you looked like an easy catch” and how “your body was bangin’!” yeah no, that’s where he drew the line. sure sukuna was an ass and talked shit about you most of the time (in his defense it wasn’t like he was doing it behind your back) but if he ever caught someone else talking about you like that then he would be sure to give them a hard time.

he hid behind one of the bushes near the cherry blossom tree while the boy was professing his love for you. funnily enough, for a moment sukuna forgot why he was originally there because he was too busy trying to stifle a laugh as he watched the boy stumble over his words.

“okay shows over” sukuna thought as the confession was reaching its conclusion, but just as he was about to step in and give the poor boy a piece of his mind, he stopped in his tracks when he heard you roaring with laughter.

“did you really think that i wouldn’t hear about what you and your friends said about me earlier? you’re really pathetic if you think any girl would be easy enough to fall to her knees for you because news flash! you’re a disgusting pig and you deserve to rot in hell for speaking about a girl’s worth like that.”

“it’s kind of sad too, i thought you were a nice boy and i probably would have given you a chance but it seems like you’re even worse than scum! damn it, to think there was somebody out there who’s even worse than sukuna.”

of course sukuna was not pleased to hear that last bit, but he did have a proud grin forming on his face as he watched the boy run away, flustered from your rejection and the embarrassment he was put through.

“sukuna i know you’re hiding behind the bush.”

“huh? i came here way before you got here, there’s no way you could have seen me.” he said as he stood up to his full height.

“well, your laughter isn’t exactly the quietest, plus i can spot that hair of yours from a mile away.”

lets just say, sukuna was glad you didn’t ask him what he was doing there because he wasn’t sure if he could spare the embarrassment of telling you that he was planning on ruining the confession.

after that whole fiasco happened, sukuna started to feel(!&:&::&) things

like he started to notice how you styled your hair differently one day and how you switched to a new perfume that smelled like spearmint (was that weird? for sukuna probably not. he just excuses it as being highly observant)

you weren’t dumb either, you had a feeling sukuna was there that day of the confession because he too had overheard the conversation between the boy and his friends as well (you knew he was prideful and if you brought it up then he probably would’ve denied it)

so from there on out it was just mutual pining at the point except... well.... not really??

i feel like it was just an unspoken agreement between you two that you guys were “together” but not “together together” because he started to treat you differently than he would before. like for example, he’d carry your bag for you whenever you guys would walk home (yuji was confused by this at first because if anything, it would have made more sense to see sukuna make you carry HIS bag, but he eventually caught on to sukuna’s feelings for you because they were twin brothers after all), he started walking you to class more often even though his class was all the way on the other side of the school (you asked him why but he just shrugged and said he was just “killing time” so that he wouldn’t have to go to class and then you ended up scolding him), and there was also that one time you miraculously found a $20 bill in your backpack after mentioning to sukuna that there was this cute top you saw at the mall the other day but didn’t have enough money at the time to purchase it (you asked him about this but he said it was probably yuji, but you didn’t want to pry any further since you wanted to cherish the fact that sukuna cared that much)

but eventually you got sick of this whole push and pull game that you physically had to tug the collar of his school uniform and pull him in for a kiss (he was visibly shocked at this because he never would’ve imagined you as the assertive type. not that he was complaining though)

“oya? didn’t think you liked me this much kitten.” he said laughing while you rolled your eyes.

“as if, i got tired of you being a wuss so one of us had to wear the pants in the relationship.” you snorted, causing him to irk.

to be honest, your relationship with him is smooth sailing because you both were pretty chill people and you didn’t have to worry about him sneaking behind your back to see other girls because 1. literally all the girls at school are terrified of him and 2. he knew what you were capable of doing to him if you were to ever catch him cheating on you so he wants to stay on your good side

jealous and possessive don’t exist in his dictionary because he is the epitome of those two words. remember what i said about how your relationship is smooth sailing? i kinda lied.

he’s easily jealous like for example: when you were in english class and the teacher had you guys jot down some notes, you realized you forgot to ask for your pencil back when you lent it to your friend last period.

so you asked sukuna to borrow a pencil but instead of giving you a pencil, he called you an idiot for being so forgetful.

this makes you mad so you turn to your male classmate since he was sitting on your opposite side and ask him for a pencil instead.

sukuna was practically fuming the entire class period and once the day ended and you two were back at your place, he made sure to mark you real good. (oh he also went out to buy a pack of mechanical pencils to sneak into your backpack so that next time you forget your pencils, you’ll have 10 extra pencils sitting in your backpack as backup)

he’s not a big fan of pda in public, but on the chances he will show some of it, the most he will do is wrap an arm around your shoulder or waist whenever some dude is trying to hit on you.

BUT IN PRIVATE? better buckle up because your in for a ride wink wink

really likes putting hickeys on you to a fault! but will never put any visible ones on your neck because he doesn’t want your parents to view him as some kind of animal (but he has nothing to worry about because your parents really like him and are grateful for the fact that he’s very loyal to you, and you guys grew up together so it’s only natural that your parents are accepting of him since they already know he has a good heart underneath that tough facade of his)

oh, and yuji starts learning how to knock whenever you come over (or shuts himself in his room for the meantime if he thinks it’s unsafe to step out of his room) because chances are, you’re probably making out with sukuna in his room or smth.

now onto the spicy stuff

when you and sukuna first started dating, the first thing you told him was that you weren’t ready to have sex yet because you were nervous and sukuna understood and told you that he was willing to wait for whenever you were ready.

but when you were ready though, it was kind of spontaneous and you weren’t even wearing a matching pair of bra and underwear that day

you two were chilling in your room watching some stupid (according to sukuna) animal documentary when suddenly you felt his hand on your thigh

dating sukuna and all, it was normal for him to have his hands on some part of your body (whether it be your thigh or your waist) while you two were in bed.

but you were feeling a bit bolder HORNEE than usual so you began to leave a hot trail of kisses starting from his jaw all the way down to his neck.

sukuna obviously got the memo but before those kisses could escalate into something more daring, he asked you once more if you were completely sure you wanted to do it and once you gave him the green light, he was quick to tug his shirt over his head and pounce on you.

he started getting really into it though and accidentally bit your thigh which made you loose your high and scold him for it, but he let out a hearty laugh and muttered a quick apology before getting back into business

sike i lied, remember what i said about it being spontaneous? yeah, you technically didn’t loose your virginity to him that day because after he finished prepping you, you both came to a realization that you didn’t have a condom.

oh well, there’s always next time!

i think sukuna is a sucker for pet names: his favorite thing to call you is either kitten or princess and that’s it LOL he finds calling you baby or babe is a bit too cheesy for him

but he likes it when you call him baby or babe ;)

date nights consist of either staying in and cuddling in his room, going out for a walk at night (but very very late though. there’s still lamp posts that guide your way through the streets but it gives you the heebie jeebies to be out walking outside so late. sukuna always reminds you that nothing bad will happen as long as he’s right by your side), or just spending time with you and your families.

but if you’re really down to do it, he’ll probably initiate a make out session that’ll lead to y’all fucking one way or another (he only ever does it if he is 100% sure that you’re feeling it because he knows you get easily embarrassed if he asks you straight up)

(this part is mainly written for me because i love the idea of sukuna being over at family functions, but it can be applied as part of the general hc heh) if you took him to any of your family functions as your plus one for the first time, all the aunts and uncles would be a bit wary of him at first due to all of the tattoos and piercings he has (sukuna swears he has never felt so self conscious before) but after they strike up a conversation with him and find out that he’s actually a good guy who knows what he wants to do in the future and is very loyal to you, they start to like him more.

your little cousins adore him and love it when he comes over because sukuna is a very tall high schooler which makes him the perfect candidate as a monkey bar

so when you noticed that all the little ones started to climb on his body and mess around with his hair, you were quick to react because you knew your boyfriend was easily irritable which prompted you to think he hated kids

but there was nothing to worry about because when you saw him playing around with them and even crack a smile, you felt your heart grow fuzzy at the sight and you knew right then and there that you wanted to stick by sukuna’s side for the rest of your life

and in the unfortunate circumstances that sukuna is too busy to make it to one of your functions, the first thing everyone asks is “where’s your boyfriend?” or “where’s ‘kuna? i wanna play with him!”

so you have to facetime him and let him know that everyone is wondering where he is (your phone is dead by the end of the night because after the adults get their turn at saying hi to your boyfriend, the kids snatch your phone and end up talking to him for the rest of the night)

but in conclusion, everyone is waiting for the day he gets on one knee to propose to you and your parents are itching to get to get call sukuna their son-in-law :))

also don’t forget that your parents want two grandchildren: one boy and one girl!

#sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna fluff #sukuna hc #ryomensukuna #sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen hc #jjk hc #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #anime #anime fanfic #jjk

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agent-cupcake · 3 years

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As a resident Claudefucker, I know am curious to know what our fave charming schemer is doing during this Mafia!AU. He'd look lovely in a suit.

~It was quite the headline when Godfrey Riegan died. The details are a little hazy, a little convenient, but people don't talk about that sort of thing. Car accidents are common. Tragic, but not unreasonable. There’s no reason to smear a man’s perfectly respectable political career for the sake of some sensational gossip.

~In the right circles, however, there was a huge uproar, questions about who was going to take over the Riegan family when the elderly boss Oswald died. The Riegan’s had been dominating Leicester for quite some time, but a lot of people began to predict that the Gloucester family was going to move in. They had powerful friends, it seemed. Friends with money, no less.

~Claude Riegan, grandson of Oswald, appeared out of nowhere just when he was needed. Stories of the lost daughter Tiana still circulated, sure, but there were still a lot of questions about Claude’s origins when nobody except Oswald were able to vouch for him. He obviously had military leadership experience—his skill with guns and ability to lead was just too excellent for any other explanation—but he dismissed the question out of hand. There’s no documentation of him, either, leading some to wonder if even his name was false. But Oswald said he was family, and that was that.

~Claude was quick to establish himself, in any case. Despite his cavalier attitude, his efficacy in overhauling the power dynamics of Leicester were profound.

~He decided, first and foremost, that the way to win the people over was to invigorate the local culture, which had seen a sharp decline as a result of new laws that were unfavorable to business, Adrestia’s growing market monopolies, and the bad reputation of the red light district Ailell. This included some perfectly legitimate campaigning and some under the table type schemes.

~The result was a flourishing Derdriu Street. While it lacks the prestige of Enbarr Square in Adrestia, it welcomes entertainment that would be considered too “low brow” like comedy, trendy new restaurants, and music venues. Even better, all of it is built on the recently cleaned up river. The Riegan family is involved in all of it, of course.

~Casino owner Claude. This exists solely to thirst but maybe it was preexisting and he took it over due to its poor management? If there’s going to be gambling anyway, it should be done right. The extra money’s not so bad, either. But, Claude lounging in a big leather chair in a dark blue blazer with gold brocade, his white shirt unbuttoned low enough to see enough his chest. Enough to make you drool. Enough that you’d definitely get caught staring and probably called out for it because he can’t help himself. Claude with his elbows on the arm rests and fingers folded in front of him as he considers you, gold rings winking because he’s just that ostentatious and appearances are important. Claude asking you how you feel about taking risks in a way that really feels like it has nothing to do with cards, staring at you with a friendly smile that doesn’t meet those calculating eyes—eyes that you know will pick up on every tell.

~Claude also struck a deal with the Kupala Distillery. They’d been fighting to keep hold of their historic business for years, and Claude offered to help them with that. You know, not for free, but he’s good at making deals that leave everybody happy.

~The second biggest thing he tackled was the drug trade. For the most part, no one family had ever had a complete handle on that market. The Goneril’s had a hold over the docks for years, but the Edmunds had been moving in and working with the Gloucester family to bolster their power. Distribution was scattered and hard to keep track of as it ultimately circulated wherever there was a profit to be made. Looking at it like this, Claude decided that the only way to fix things was to take control over all of it. In his line of work, shady things like the drug trade are impossible to avoid. At the very least, if he has control over it, he can ensure the product is clean and expel far more unsavory ventures.

~Through these escapades, Claude was able to make alliances with all of the major families. A lot of them had only remained loyal to the Gloucester family out of fear so as soon as they had an alternative, they bolted. This has an unfortunate side effect of revealing how his power is perceived. Every day is a balancing act for Claude. He allows each family to function as they please as long as they’re aware they do so at his mercy. It’s better to keep friends than to control enemies, but even that requires a delicate maneuvering of power.

~However, Claude likes the conflict. He enjoys the game and he especially enjoys winning the game. There’s a certain level of his excusing amorality for the sake of his family and Leicester, but there’s an equal part of him that understands his wrongdoings and deals with it separately. He wouldn’t hold to the naïve “ends justify the means” idea to excuse himself, but he would still argue that his actions have value and are even necessary. If it weren’t him, it would be somebody a lot worse than him. That’s probably something that would linger in the back of everybody’s minds whenever they shook his hand or paid their respects, whenever they began to think of how easy it would be to take him out. Fear, too. So far, Claude’s never done anything shockingly bad, only what was necessary. But with his power and intellect, it’s always a question of what he could do.

~If someone asked him that, Claude would smile that friendly smile and tell them that he would do anything to see his vision made real. Whether or not that’s true remains to be seen.

~Luckily, Claude’s not alone! Hilda is the stereotypical crime family princess. She joined Claude because he offered her freedom from the overbearing control of her father and brother. Her skill in manipulating everybody around her combined with her reputation as a ditzy rich girl makes her fantastic at gathering information, assuming Claude can get her to do so. But, as long as he’s not being too forceful, she’s surprisingly motivated to weave her way through social circles and charm everyone. Although she would never say it, the order he brought to Leicester, not to mention the entertainment, made everything a lot better for her and her family. Plus, she likes being useful after spending her entire life watching Holst give his heart and soul to family while she did nothing. Ultimately, the information she provides is essential and her relationship with Claude is one of the few either have that’s built on trust, respect, and loyalty. That said, sometimes even Claude gets a little shiver as he watches how easily Hilda can manipulate people.

~Lorenz was one of Claude’s most disdainful detractors, although a part of that was jealousy. Claude just swept in and did things that Lorenz had been waiting and planning to do once he became the head of the Gloucester family. Even after being on the receiving ends of such vicious attacks, once Claude undeniably had the upper hand in Leicester, he went behind the Gloucester boss’s back to Lorenz and told him that they were going to be friends or enemies, it was Lorenz’s choice. Not threatening him, just pointing out that the fall of the Gloucester family was inevitable under his father’s leadership and that Lorenz didn’t have to suffer for his father’s sins. Probably over mimosas and brunch. Lorenz is proud and has no appreciation for Claude, but he’s not stupid. After they worked out their disagreements and more or less accepted each other, Lorenz and Claude became pretty close. Claude knows that having someone to openly and aggressively disagree with him isn’t a bad thing. Not only that, but Lorenz’s a solid ally with a better grasp on some of the things Claude has difficulty with due to not being a native. Lorenz is willing to admit that Claude is a good leader.

~Marianne is well educated in the realm of the law and political action. The reason the Edmund family saw such success despite their lesser status was because of her adopted father’s genius. which he made sure to share with Marianne. She is invaluable in aiding Claude on the perfectly legitimate side of his business, and helping him hide his tracks for the shady stuff. Raphael is the muscle. Lysithea is a computer genius. Being a sickly shut in with issues that only recently saw treatment, she’s on the Mr. Robot level of hacker mode activated. Ignatz is an architect which is useful since so much of Claude’s power is in the property and infrastructure. He also designed a lot of places to have some neat-o hidey holes. Claude loves buildings that have secrets. Leonie is manages a lot of the physical and pettier side of the work. If someone’s stirring up trouble, she’s likely to pay them a visit as a warning before Claude has to get involved. She used to be a mercenary but being on Claude’s payroll is a lot better of a gig.

~As for the suits, one thing is very important. Claude would not, under any circumstances, wear something tight on his thighs. I actually kind of like the idea of him going for a 1980′s style modernized. In his post timeskip outfit, he’s already got a hint of that going on with how oversized his outfit looks. The 80′s (rightfully) gets a bad rep for fashion, but it’s also very iconic with those wide-collared suit jackets, matchy-matchy three piece suits, sportscoats with a fun patterned shirt underneath, open blazers, pleated pants with an oversized jacket, and—in particular—the trend of summer suits in shades of tan and cream with colored shirts underneath. Then, combine that with a pair of Ray-Ban Aviators and a topless convertible and you’ve got a distinctly recognizable mob boss who doubles as a devastating heartthrob. I’m not saying he’d do a 1:1 recreation, but you’d definitely see references to the fashion of the era in his outfits. He would wear oxfords or ankle boots. Whatever it was, they’d have to be comfortable. He also doesn’t shy away from jewelry. The earring, of course, and rings when he's feeling particularly decadent. When he’s wearing his shirts unbuttoned Claude could possibly wear a gold chain. I mean, what are you gonna say, no? That gold doesn’t look gorgeous against his skin? That it’s tacky? You’re talking to the man who wore quilted pants. Claude’s not afraid to stand out because he knows he will anyway, nor is he afraid to be seen as unfashionable because he doesn’t particularly care about trends. I also enjoy the idea of him emulating the 80′s as someone who didn’t grow up in a western culture and thus mainly saw things through the lens of movies. Whatever he wears, however, he would look very handsome.

#claude von riegan #fe claude #claude von riegan headcanons #fe claude headcanons #claude von riegan x reader #fe claude x reader #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #headcanons #did i put too much thought into this? yes #do i regret it? a little #but this has been festering in my mind

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hargrove-mayfields · 3 years

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Everyone likes to pretend Billy was never even there. Life goes on, people change, the past gets forgotten.

A year isn’t enough time for Max though. Right now it feels like the rest of her life wouldn’t be enough time, but Neil and Susan, they were doing just fine.

It’s almost like they like not having him around, that extra burden they couldn’t shake. The plan only Max knew was that Billy was going to stay at home until she was old enough to go with him so she’d be safe.

She knew he was fed up and looking at some local apartments within walking distance of Cherry Lane anyways, but then July happened, and Billy died.

Now it’s July again, and her hair is in twin braids of red with pure white ribbons on the end, and her and her mother are wearing matching blouses. There’s bruises under the bangle on her mothers wrist and one under Max’s own sleeve, and she just wants her brother back.

It’s a holiday they told her, her father (he’s not her fucking father, they never made her call him that when Billy was around) is a veteran, they have to celebrate. Better just dry her eyes and get over it.

Her mother invites all the family they have in the area over to their house for a little get together picnic, and they do their little happy family routine for a while, but Max can only handle so much of it.

Billy should be here by her side, flicking watermelon seeds at her face and putting ice cubes from the cooler down the back of her shirt, being an asshole to distract her from the reality of her family.

And that was that she didn’t really have one, a family. It was always just her and Billy.

Even at these events made for bonding with family, they were off to the side, messing around while the adults talked like they weren’t even there, and she knew she was a little naive then, but it stung more than ever, knowing that even after she’d lost her brother, nobody even stopped to say hi or check up on her, it was just straight into gossiping about the neighbors and those disrespectful bastards across the street who weren’t flying a flag for the holiday and family members who couldn’t be there.

But Max never heard Billy’s name come up even once, and not even in a respect to the dead boy and his grieving sister type of way, but rather, in the way that they just didn’t want to acknowledge his existence. None of these people had come to his graduation in May of last year, or his funeral two months later.

Billy was a taboo that the Hargrove-Mayfields didn’t dare taint their celebrations of freedom and justice with. The irony made Max sick to her stomach.

Or that was at least, until Neil couldn’t help himself.

His words are slurring already, with an excuse to party he’s on what Max would guess to be his fifth or sixth beer that afternoon, and someone just made the mistake of mentioning their own son, Billy and Max’s third cousin or something, and it spurs Neil off on a tangent about his.

“That boy was always good for nothing anyways. It’s almost the same now that he’s dead, ‘Cept maybe now I get some more quiet around the house.”

Nobody knows what to do when he says that, there’s a couple awkward laughs and one shocked gasp, that one was probably from her mother, but Max knows exactly what she wants to do.

What she wants is to watch Neil choking on his blood instead of her brother, his body being lowered into the ground instead of Billy’s, and in the moment she feels like she could be the one to make that a reality, but instead she just stands abruptly, a plate of the food her mother worked so hard to prepare for them she’d been too queasy to eat falling off her knees to the grass, and she says everything she’d bottled up for the past year.

“Don’t talk about Billy that way!

“Now, Maxine-“ Neil starts, but Max is livid, can’t hold back all the things she wished she had said before Billy died, when she got grounded after the funeral, when Neil started beating her, “No! I’m not going to let you do to me what you did to my brother! You don’t get to control me like you did him, it’s your fault that he’s dead!”

It’s her mother’s turn to try to stop her, slender hand covering her mouth painted red, “Maxine..”

“Stop trying to reason with me! I’m sick of pretending to be a family when I had to watch my own brother die! And I’m sick of being treated like I’m crazy for being the only one that cares about Billy!”

More than one person chimes in on that one, offended by the notion they don’t care about family, though it’s Neil that insists, in that faux calm, close to snapping voice of his, “We do care, Maxine. We’re all grieving in our own ways.”

She fires back, “Grieving what? The loss of your punching bag? You hated Billy! You don’t care that he’s dead, all that matters to you is having someone to hurt, and you no trouble adjusting to beating up on your wife and step-daughter instead!”

She catches a backhand to the face for that, and all the background chatter comes to a halt, Neil gritting out through his teeth, “Inside. Now.”

There are tears in her eyes that sting almost as much as the knuckle marks on her cheek, but Max feels like she won, getting her step dad all riled up in front of their family, she feels almost invincible, and she sneers all smug like and bitter, “I can’t go inside yet. I’m celebrating your service to our country, dad. You know, as a family.”

But when Neil's face turns as red as the blood that dripped from his wife’s nose the night before and he stands from his chair and drags her inside by the wrist himself, she realizes that it wasn’t exactly a win.

And when her brain goes numb trying to focus on both the repeated slaps and punches that explode like firecrackers across her skin and the way Neil is yelling and lecturing her until his voice is raw, giving her the same lessons her brother had burned into the back of his mind, she feels like she’s lost everything instead.

When she has to choke back her tears and apologize for embarrassing Neil and for making him hit her as punishment, she realizes, this isn’t a game that can be won or lost at all.

Max isn’t allowed to go back outside to the party. That rule goes unspoken, but words aren't necessary with the way Neil storms off without another word, slamming the back door behind himself. She’s slowly starting to figure out what the things her step father does instead of says mean.

She misses being allowed to be clueless, having someone to protect her or take what punishment she had earned. She wishes she wouldn’t have asked so much of Billy though.

Her own room isn’t safe anymore, what once had been the place she’d be ushered off to when Neil got bad had become more like a trap, the place Neil went to first when he was angry. Everything that had been hers felt wrong, so she goes to Billy’s room and doesn’t come out for the rest of the night. Even now that he’s gone, he still kept her safe.

There’s a welt on her face and fresh bruises forming everywhere, hot tears wetting her sunburnt cheeks and the pillows that smell like Billy, or at least used to before Susan decided his room needed cleaned and washed away every trace of her brother.

All night long there are fireworks going off, a big show put on by the city downtown has her shaking, unable to close her eyes for fear those distant explosions would take her back to the mall, bring back memories she’d never forget, and covering her ear with her hands.

The cracks and booms that shake her windows and her entire life, a headache and a heart break even stronger.

She tries her hardest not to think about Starcourt though, so instead she thinks about how Billy would’ve been proud of her for standing up to Neil. He would’ve called her an idiot, but he would’ve cleaned up her scrapes and held her through the panic attack after, and he probably would’ve liked to see the person Max was becoming too.

That makes Max’s heart hurt, the fact that he won’t get to. She cries harder, and she feels so alone without Billy.

Some part of her knows that she isn’t though. She isn’t the only one that lost somebody last July.

Hawkins’ cemetery was alive with flowers and wreaths and decoration, and more than anything the grieving. All of the victims had families, or in the case of the Holloway’s where their whole family was killed, they had friends and neighbors in the tight knit community who remembered them. El was still grieving Hopper, and Max knew Billy had people like that too.

Billy was popular, his death had a huge impact on the younger population of the town, but not only that, he had his closest friends, Steve and Tommy and Carol and Nicole and Adam from the pool, and of course Heather couldn’t be there, but those people were all keeping her brother alive.

As much as it felt like everyone was trying to forget him, they weren’t, and that brought Max a little bit of hope.

Hope that Billy would be remembered for the things he did right, and who he was behind the boy he had to be to keep them safe.

Hope that with his memory kept in the hearts of so many, the burden of grief wouldn’t fall solely on Max forever and make things a little easier.

Hope that the wound would someday heal, and she could look back on the time she did have with Billy, those seven too short years, with a smile on her face.

For now, she wraps herself in Billy’s jacket and comforter, listening to his music to drown out the distant fireworks, and dreams of the day when things won’t be like this, when she can leave Hawkins and all it’s bad memories and the “family” holding her back to live a life her brother would be proud of, a life that would honor his.

Max decides then with determination, flinching when a bright flash lights up her window, a loud echo through the quaint neighborhood, that she was going to do what Billy hadn’t been able to and break the cycle.

Tomorrow, she’d tell the school counselor she’d been assigned when her depression was at its worst all about Neil Hargrove.

#billy & max #max mayfield #neil hargrove #billy hargrove #ej writer #story by ej!#tw child abuse #also on my ao3!#is this me projecting? pfft no way

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ifuckinglovestvincent · 3 years

Text

THE FORTY-FIVE: ST. VINCENT

Sleazy, gritty, grimy – these are the words used to describe the latest iteration of St. Vincent, Annie Clark’s alter ego. As she teases the release of her upcoming new album, ‘Daddy’s Home’, Eve Barlow finds out who’s wearing the trousers now.

Photos: Zackery Michael

Yellow may be the colour of gold, the hue of a perfect blonde or the shade of the sun, but when it’s too garish, yellow denotes the stain of sickness and the luridness of sleaze. On ‘Pay Your Way In Pain’ – the first single from St. Vincent’s forthcoming sixth album ‘Daddy’s Home’ – Annie Clark basks in the palette of cheap 1970s yellows; a dirty, salacious yellow that even the most prudish of individuals find difficult to avert their gaze from. It’s a yellow that recalls the smell of cigarettes on fingers, the tape across tomorrow’s crime scene or the dull ache of bad penetration.

The video for the single, which dropped last Thursday, features Clark in a blonde wig and suit, channeling a John Cassavetes anti-heroine (think Gena Rowlands in Gloria) and ‘Fame’-era Bowie. She twists in front of too-bright disco lights. She roughs up her voice. She sings about the price we pay for searching for acceptance while being outcast from society. “So I went to the park just to watch the little children/ The mothers saw my heels and they said I wasn’t welcome,” she coos, and you immediately recognise the scene of a free woman threatening the post-nuclear families aspiring to innocence. Clark is here to pervert them.

She laughs. “That’s how I feel!” From her studio in Los Angeles, she begins quoting lyrics from Jimi Hendrix’s ‘Red House’. “It’s a blues song for 2021.” LA is a city Clark reluctantly only half calls home, and one that is opposed to her vastly preferred New York. “I don’t feel any romantic attachment to Los Angeles,” she says of the place she coined the song ‘Los Ageless’ about on 2017’s ‘Masseduction’ (“The Los Ageless hang out by the bar/ Burn the pages of unwritten memoirs”).“The best that could be said of LA is, ‘Yeah it’s nice.’ And it is! LA is easy and pleasant. But if you were a person the last thing you’d want someone to say about you is: ‘She’s nice!’”

On ‘Daddy’s Home’, Clark writes about a past derelict New York; a place Los Angeles would suffocate in. “The idea of New York, the art that came out of it, and my living there,” she says. “I’ve not given up my card. I don’t feel in any way ready to renounce my New York citizenship. I bought an apartment so I didn’t have to.” Her down-and-out New York is one a true masochist would love, and it’s sleazy in excess. Sleaze is usually the thing men flaunt at a woman’s expense. In 2021, the proverbial Daddy in the title is Clark. But there’s also a literal Daddy. He came home in the winter of 2019.

On the title track, Clark sings about “inmate 502”: her father. He was sentenced to 12 years in prison for his involvement in a $43m stock fraud scheme. He went away in May 2010. Clark reacted by writing her third breakthrough album ‘Strange Mercy’ in 2011; inspired not just by her father’s imprisonment but the effects it had on her life.“I mean it was rough stuff,” she says. “It was a fuck show. Absolutely terrible. Gut-wrenching. Like so many times in life, music saved me from all kinds of personal peril. I was angry. I was devastated. There’s a sort of dullness to incarceration where you don’t have any control. It’s like a thud at the basement of your being. So I wrote all about it,” she says.

Back then, she was aloof about meaning. In an interview we did that year, she called from a hotel rooftop in Phoenix and was fried from analytical questions. She excused her lack of desire to talk about ‘Strange Mercy’ as a means of protecting fans who could interpret it at will. Really she was protecting an audience closer to home. It’s clear now that the title track is about her father’s imprisonment (“Our father in exile/ For God only knows how many years”). Clark’s parents divorced when she was a child, and they have eight children in their mixed family, some of whom were very young when ‘Strange Mercy’ came out. She explains this discretion now as her method of sheltering them.

“I am protective of my family,” she says. “It didn’t feel safe to me. I disliked the fact that it was taken as malicious obfuscations. No.” Clark wanted to deal with the family drama in art but not in press. She managed to remain tight-lipped until she became the subject of a different intrusion. As St. Vincent’s star continued to rocket, Clark found herself in a relationship with British model Cara Delevingne from 2014 to 2016, and attracted celebrity tabloid attention. Details of her family’s past were exposed. The Daily Mail came knocking on her sister’s door in Texas, where Clark is from.

“Luckily I’m super tight with my family and the Daily Mail didn’t find anybody who was gonna sell me out,” she says. “They were looking for it. Clark girls are a fucking impenetrable force. We will cut a bitch.”

Four years later, Clark gets to own the narrative herself in the medium that’s most apt: music. “The story has evolved. I’ve evolved. People have grown up. I would rather be the one to tell my story,” she says, ruminating on the misfortune that this was robbed from her: a story that writes itself. “My father’s release from prison is a great starting point, right?” Between tours and whenever she could manage, Clark would go and visit him in prison and would be signing autographs in the visitation room for the inmates, who all followed her success with every album release, press clipping and late night TV spot. She joked to her sisters that she’d become the belle of the ball there. “I don’t have to make that up,” she says.

There’s an ease to Clark’s interview manner that hasn’t existed before. She seems ready not just to discuss her father’s story, but to own certain elements of herself. “Hell where can you run when the outlaw’s inside you,” she sings on the title track, alluding to her common traits with her father. “I’ve always had a relationship with my dad and a good one. We’re very similar,” she says. “The movies we like, the books, he liked fashion. He’s really funny, he’s a good time.” Her father’s release gave Clark and her brothers and sisters permission to joke. “The title, ‘Daddy’s Home’ makes me laugh. It sounds fucking pervy as hell. But it’s about a real father ten years later. I’m Daddy now!”

The question of who’s fathering who is a serious one, but it’s also not serious. Clark wears the idea of Daddy as a costume. She likes to play. She joins today’s Zoom in a pair of sunglasses wider than her face and a silk scarf framing her head. The sunglasses come off, and the scarf is a tool for distraction. She ties it above her forehead, attempts a neckerchief, eventually tosses it aside. Clark can only be earnest for so long before she seeks some mischief. She doesn’t like to stay in reality for extensive periods. “I like to create a world and then I get to live in it and be somebody new every two or three years,” she says. “Who wants to be themselves all the time?”

‘Daddy’s Home‘ began in New York at Electric Lady studios before COVID hit and was finished in her studio in LA. She worked on it with “my friend Jack” [Jack Antonoff, producer for Lana Del Rey, Lorde, Taylor Swift]. Antonoff and Clark worked on ‘Masseduction’ and found a winning formula, pushing Clark’s guitar-orientated electronic universe to its poppiest maximum, without compromising her idiosyncrasies. “We’re simpatico. He’s a dream,” she says. “He played the hell outta instruments on this record. He’s crushing it on drums, crushing it on Wurlitzer.” The pair let loose. They began with ‘The Holiday Party’, one of the warmest tracks Clark’s ever written. It’s as inviting as a winter fireplace, stoked by soulful horns, acoustic guitar and backing singers. “Every time they sang something I’d say, ‘Yeah but can you do it sleazier? Make your voice sound like you’ve been up for three days.” Clark speaks of an unspoken understanding with Antonoff as regards the vibe: “Familiar sounds. The opposite of my hands coming out of the speaker to choke you till you like it. This is not submission. Just inviting. I can tell a story in a different way.”

The entire record is familiar, giving the listener the satisfaction that they’ve heard the songs before but can’t quite place them. It’s a satisfying accompaniment to a pandemic that encouraged nostalgic listening. Clark was nostalgic too. She reverted to records she enjoyed with her father: Stevie Wonder’s catalogue from the 1970s (‘Songs In The Key Of Life’, ‘Innervisions’, ‘Talking Book’) and Steely Dan. “Not to be the dude at the record store but it’s specifically post-flower child idealism of the ’60s,” she explains. “It’s when it flipped into nihilism, which I much prefer. Pre disco, pre punk. That music is in me in a deep way. It’s in my ears.”

On ‘The Melting Of The Sun’ she has a delicious time creating a psychedelic Pink Floyd odyssey while exploring the path tread by her heroes Marilyn Monroe, Joni Mitchell, Joan Didion and Nina Simone. It’s a series of beautiful vignettes of brilliant women who were met with a hostile environment. Clark considers what they did to overcome that. “I’m thanking all these women for making it easier for me to do it. I hope I didn’t totally let them down.” Clark is often the only woman sharing a stage with rock luminaries such as Dave Grohl, Damon Albarn and David Byrne, and has appeared to have shattered a male-centric glass ceiling. She’s unsure she’s doing enough to redress the imbalance. “There are little things I can do and control,” she says of hiring women on her team. “God! Now I feel like I should do more. What should I do? It’s a big question. You know what I have seen a lot more from when I started to now? Girls playing guitar.”

If one woman reinvented the guitar in the past decade, it’s Clark. Behind her is a rack of them. The pandemic has taken her out of the wild in which she’s accustomed to tantalising audiences at night with her displays of riffing and heel-balancing. Instead, she’s chained to her desk. Her obsession with heels in the lyrics of ‘Daddy’s Home’ she reckons may be a reflection of her nights performing ‘Masseduction’ in thigh highs. “I made sure that nothing I wore was comfortable,” she recalls. “Everything was about stricture and structure and latex. I had to train all the time to make sure I could handle it.” Is she taking the heels off when live shows return? “Absofuckinglutely not.”

Clark is interested in the new generation. She’s recently tweeted about Arlo Parks and has become a big fan of Russian singer-songwriter Kate NV. “I’m obsessed with Russia,” she says. In a recent LA Times profile, she professed to a pandemic intellectual fixation on Stalin. “Yeah! I mean right now my computer is propped up on stuff. You are sitting on The Gulag Archipelago, The Best Short Stories Of Dostoyevsky andThe Plays Of Chekhov. I’m kinda in it.” The pop world interests Clark, too. She was credited with a co-write on Swift’s 2019 album ‘Lover’. At last year’s Grammys she performed a duet with Dua Lipa. It was one of the queerest performances the Grammys has ever aired. Clark interrupts.

“What about it seemed queer?!”

You know… The lip bite, for one!

“Wait. Did she bite her lip?”

No, you bit your lip.

“I did?!”

Everyone was talking about it. Come on, Annie.

“Serious? I…”

You both waltzed around each other with matching hairdos, making eyes…

“I have no memory of it.”

Frustrating as it may be in a world of too much information, Clark’s lack of willingness to overanalyse every creative decision she makes or participates in is something to treasure. “I want to be a writer who can write great songs,” she says. “I’m so glad I can play guitar and fuck around in the studio to my heart’s desire but it’s about what you can say. What’s a great song? What lyric is gonna rip your guts open. Just make great shit! That’s where I was with this record. That’s all I wanna do with my life.”

More than a decade into St. Vincent, Clark doesn’t reflect. She looks strictly forward. “I’m like a horse with blinders,” she says. She did make an exception to take stock lately when the phone rang. “I saw a +44 and that gets me excited,” she says. “Who could this be?” Well, who was it? “Paul McCartney,” she says, in disbelief. “Anything I’ve done, any mistake I’ve made, somehow it’s forgiven, assuaged. I did something right in my life if a fucking Beatle called me.”

Now there’s a get out of jail free card if ever she needed one.

Daddy’s Home by St. Vincent is out May 14, 2021.

#‘I HAVE NO MEMORY OF IT’#LOOOOOL #WHY ARE U LIKE THIS #st vincent #full of shit #annie clark #Annie Clark on beds #yellow is the color for dull ache of bad penetration?

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fallen-gravity · 3 years

Text

Sixty Candles

On June 15th, 1972, Stan Pines celebrates his eighteenth birthday in the back seat of his car.

or, how Stan Pines spent his birthday throughout the years.

Notes: Here is my very loose interpretation for Week 4 of @stanuary!The prompt for this week was Future with the subcategory Old, and I decided to play around with the concept of birthdays! This was a lot of fun to explore and I hope you have a ton a of fun reading! :D

AO3

At exactly midnight on June 15th, 1972, Stan Pines celebrates his eighteenth birthday in the backseat of his car.

It’s not ideal, and nothing like how he thought he had it planned from the moment he turned sixteen, but he supposes he should be thanking his lucky stars he’s able to celebrate at all. His Ma, bless her caring heart, must’ve snuck some emergency funds into his duffle bag the moment she saw Pa reaching for it before he kicked Stan to the curb.

Stan supposes that she probably intended for that money to be spent on emergency rations and gas money, but what she doesn’t know probably won’t kill her. He also supposes that he probably should’ve gotten himself a cake, but cakes are messy and he has no means of cleaning it up, so a bottle of whiskey and a pack of cigarettes will have to suffice.

He pops open the bottle with ease, and takes a large swig.

“Happy birthday, y’ asshole” he says to nobody, slamming the bottle down onto his car dashboard with more force than intended. “Hope you’re livin’ it up at home with your fancy expensive pizza and two layer cake you’ll never be able to finish on your own” He leans back against his chair, propping his arms smugly behind his head. “An’ I hope the guilt is eating you alive” he slams his hand down on one of his armrests, and reaches for the bottle on his dashboard for another swig.

Just six months ago- not even a year, just six months ago, Stan and Ford had been talking about what it’d be like to share their first drink together. They’d talked about getting absolutely wasted at the pub down the block, followed by walking to the boardwalk to ride the coaster until it made them both sick.

It wasn’t much, but it was theirs.

Stan chokes, and he isn’t quite sure if it’s the alcohol or his emotions.

“Fuck,” he coughs, and stumbles out of the car for some fresh air. In between his coughs and splutters, he takes a sharp inhale of the cool nighttime air to steady his breathing. He sighs deeply, and pulls out the pack of cigarettes from his ratty coat pocket.

He lights one up, and leans against his car to lose himself in his thoughts as he wordlessly watches the cigarette smoke dissipate into the starry night sky. Stan gets too distracted by the sight and accidentally burns his first all the way down to his fingertips, and hisses in pain as he stumbles to light a new one.

No matter. He stomps on the burnt remains with his shoe, and grinds his emotions into the ground with them.

~~~~~~~

On June 15th, 1978, Stan Pines celebrates his twenty-fourth birthday in prison.

“Pines!” An officer shouts, whacking at the cell door with his baton. “Wake up. You’ve got a visitor”

Stan sits up in the cheap cot, groggily rubbing at his eyes. “Wassat?”

The officer’s keys jingle as he clicks Stan’s cell door open. “You’ve got a visitor. He insisted it was important, so we’re giving you ten minutes to talk.”

Stan’s been to jail enough times that he knows that when someone says something’s important, it really just means that they bribed their way through security so they can talk to Stan before the designated visitor hours.

But who could possibly be willing to risk getting arrested just to talk to him before eleven in the morning? Every name that comes to mind is either on the run, already in jail, or…much worse. Anybody foolish enough to try is either out of their mind, or…someone who genuinely wants to see him.

But…who could possibly want to see him? After everything he’s done, after everyone he’s stolen from, who could possibly be left that trusts him enough to bribe a police officer for his company? The police officer happens to walk Stan by the surveillance room, and he notices his page-a-day calendar is torn to June 15th.

Stan’s heart nearly stops in his chest.

It-It couldn’t be, could it?

Six years of silence, and Ford wants to break it like this? Is this some kind of joke? What kind of idiot does Ford take him for, thinking that now is an appropriate time to make amends? After all the times Stan tried writing, or calling, or even trying to get a hold of him through Ma, now is the time that Ford finally agreed to reconvening?

Pah. He had his chance the past five times Stan tried to pass on a happy birthday. He doesn’t care if it’ll land him ten more years in prison, the moment he sees his twin brother’s stupid face he’s spitting in it.

As Stan rounds the corner to the visitation room, though, all of his anger disappears into thin air, and if it weren’t for the officer pushing him along, he’d turn heel and sprint the other way.

“My friend!” Rico cheers with a forced smile on his face. He’s holding a large box in his hand. “It’s so good to see you again!” He takes a seat at the small table, rhythmically tapping on the box.

Stan swallows hard, but takes a seat across from him. “It’s, uh…” he squirms uncomfortably, unsure if he’s allowed to address him by name. “…good to see you too, buddy. What, uh, what are you doing here?”

Rico laughs heartily. “What, a man cannot visit his best friend on his birthday?” He flips open the box he brought with him, and Stan flinches when he spins it around towards him. To his surprise, it…looks like a perfectly normal birthday cake.

“Would you mind giving us a moment alone?” Rico flashes a grin towards the police guard behind Stan. “I would like to sing my dear childhood friend happy birthday, but I’ve always been very shy about the sound of my voice. I promise I will be quick”.

Childhood friend?

The officer squints at the birthday cake in the box for a moment. “Fine.” He says. “You get two minutes. And I’m staying right outside the door to prevent anything funny from happening”

“Of course! You have my word,” Rico grins, placing his hand over his heart. The officer says nothing, and for the briefest of moments Stan’s convinced he sees right through Rico’s bullshit and he’ll let Stan slip quietly back into his cell. But after those brief moments pass, the officer shrugs as he closes the door behind him.

Rico’s fake-plastered grin slips from his face the moment the officer is out of sight.

“Alright, listen here, you walking stain upon the Earth,” Rico slips easily into Spanish. “You think you’re safe behind these bars? You think my boys still won’t burn this place to the ground to collect what you rightfully owe us? You’re gravely mistaken. We have eyes everywhere, in every corner of the globe. And don't you dare even think about running off somewhere else under a new name, Stanley Pines, because we’ll find you, one way or another”

Rico stands from his chair and pushes the cake box towards Stan. “As soon as those guards declare you a free man, we’ll be waiting for you on the outside.” He grips Stan’s shoulder as he heads towards the door. “It really is such a shame. I loved you like a brother. But you know what they say, don’t you?” He places his hand on the door, and glances back towards him. “The good ones always die young”

Before Stan has time to respond, Rico slips his fake smile back on and opens the door. “Happy birthday, my friend,” he says, slipping back into English and speaking loud enough for the officer waiting outside to hear. “I hope you enjoy your cake”

Stan swallows, defensively bringing his hands to his throat, before he carefully inspects the cake in front of him. It looks normal, as far as he’s concerned, just a standard chocolate cake with “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STAN!” inked across its surface in bright red frosting.

He contemplates. On one hand, he hasn’t had any real food outside of the slop they’ve been feeding him here for the past three months, and he’s never been one to turn away free cake.

On the other, knowing Rico…

Stan shutters. He stands to his feet, takes the cake box, and throws the whole thing into the trash can in the corner of the room.

He’d rather starve to death than risk being poisoned.

~~~~~~

Stan stopped keeping track of his age the day he started going by his brother’s name.

Sure, it wasn’t even close to being the first time he had to live under a new name. You do it enough times and you’re able to come up with an entire life story at the drop of a hat. Stetson Pinefield was from Ohio, born in the fifties in late December. Andrew "Eight Ball" Alcatraz, born in Alabama in mid-May, got his nickname from his troubled childhood that resulted from his dad getting locked up when he was only eight. It was something of a specialty, giving life to people that never truly existed.

But suddenly, all at once, Stan was forced to overtake the life of someone he loved, and it’s like he forgot how to so much as breathe. This wasn’t some sob story he could bullshit to people he’d never see again, or a name he pulled out of his ass to keep him in place just a bit longer. This is his twin brother, someone he spent every moment of his childhood with, yet someone he feels as though he doesn’t know a thing about.

Sure, none of the people in this town can tell the difference between himself and Ford, and for that he’s grateful. But a man can only pose as his possibly-dead brother for so long before somebody starts getting suspicious. Ford’s lived in this town for over ten years, he’s bound to have been on good terms with somebody.

Oh well. He’ll burn that bridge when he gets to it. For now, all Stan needs to focus on is scamming enough people out of their wallets so he can pay off the bills and keep working on the portal that swallowed his brother whole, and those seem to be going…well, just about as smoothly as teaching yourself three years-worth of advanced multiverse physics when you never even graduated from high school can go, but at least he’s making process.

Turns out, there’s still one more flaw in Stan’s plan that even he should’ve been able to factor in.

As much of a recluse Ford advertised himself to be to the locals of Gravity Falls, it turns out that he always receives a call from home on his birthday.

The first year Stan spends in Gravity Falls, he debates letting the phone go to voice mail. He has no idea how in or out of character it would be for Ford to answer his phone, nor does he have any idea who could be calling at all.

Eventually, though, he figures it’d probably look even more suspicious if he doesn’t pick up, and Stan isn’t willing to risk anything, even if it means bullshitting his way through a phone call for the rest of the night.

He takes a deep breath, and with a shaky hand he picks up the phone.

“Stanford?” his mother says, and to say he’s overjoyed to hear her voice for the first time in years is a massive understatement.

“Ma?” Stan replies, struggling not to slip into his own voice. “Why are you calling?”

She cackles. “Well hello to you too, birthday boy. I’m starting to think all of that research is getting to your head. Can’t a mother call her son on his birthday?”

Stan blinks. Is it…really June already? “Is that today?”

She laughs again. “See? It is getting to you! Do your poor aging mother a favor and go outside and get some sunshine. It’ll be good for you!” She quips. “Or at the very least, please, take a break and go to bed early tonight, for me”

Stan smiles. “Okay, Ma. I will.”

“Good,” she replies matter-of-factly. “Now, tell me all about what it’s like up there on the West Coast. Is it unbearably hot over there? I can’t seem to find your little town on my map. Must be why it’s so spooky, since you’re the only living soul for miles.” She laughs again. “I’m kidding, dear. I’m sure it’s fantastic. Tell me everything.”

And all at once, it’s like Stan’s a kid again. Stan and his Ma talk on the phone for hours. He figures that Ford must not call very often, so he spews out anything that comes to mind in hopes that she doesn’t see right through him. She buys it, miraculously, and when they hang up at the end of the night Stan promises that he’ll try and call home more often.

It becomes an easy pattern for Stan to slip into as the years go by. Just as long as he calls frequently enough not to raise suspicion, he can always look forward to receiving a call on June 15th every year. Some tiny part of him feels selfish for posing as his brother and lying to his mother for so long, but it’s the most connected he’s felt to any sort of family in years.

Deep down, though, he knows he can’t get too comfortable, and there’s still too many loose ends he needs to tie up before he can let his guard down.

On June 5th, 1987, just before his thirty-third birthday, Stan Pines dies in a fiery car crash.

On June 7th, he just barely misses a call from home as he’s coming up from tinkering with the portal.

“Stanford”, his mother’s voice says, lacking any of the snarky bite it usually contains. “I know that you’re a very busy man with your research, and driving all the way back to New Jersey on such a short notice is…unfair of me to ask of you, but…” She pauses to take a shaky breath, like she’s struggling not to cry. “But something terrible happened to Stanley, and…” she pauses again. “We’re holding a service for him on the fifteenth. I know that things haven’t been great between you two the past few years, and I can’t imagine a funeral would be an ideal way to spend your birthday, but…It was the only date they had available, and it would really mean the world to all of us if you could attend. I’m so sorry you had to find out this way. Call me as soon as you get this, okay? I love you.”

There’s a click, and she’s gone, and Stan contemplates his options.

Would Ford attend his funeral, if things were exactly the way it seemed? Would Ford even consider him worthy of the time? He’d said it himself: I want you to get as far away from me as possible. Would Ford be relieved that he was finally rid of him, like a weight off his shoulders?

Stan doesn’t even realize that he started crying until a tear drop lands on the counter beside the phone. Just how long has Ford been waiting to get rid of him, anyway?

No. Stan shakes those thoughts away. He can’t lose himself in those kinds of thoughts again. Every time he lets those thoughts get to him, bad things happen.

Besides…a funeral for, er, himself, may not be the most ideal way to spend his birthday, but finally being able to spend it at home for the first time in near decades, despite the circumstances, still beats slaving over an indecipherable journal in a dimly lit basement for twelve hours straight.

He takes a deep breath, and dials home.

“Hey, Ma”

~~~~~~~~

Ever since he turned eighteen, Stan found himself unable to celebrate his birthday without a sour taste in his mouth. As a kid, he looked forward to it more than anything. It was the one day a year that Pa would splurge and let him and Ford do whatever they wanted, and having a birthday in mid-June meant that there was only about a week of school left before they were free for the summer.

Most of all, it was about togetherness. Stan and Ford never had that many friends when they were growing up, so their shared birthdays were always about spending time together, because nobody else deserved to come to their party and celebrate with them anyways.

Once he was forced to spend his birthdays on the streets, Stan was starting to think that maybe he didn’t deserve it either. Even when he did have people to celebrate with, whether that be his cellmates in prison or nameless gamblers in Vegas casinos, everything felt empty, and there isn’t enough cake or alcohol in this world that could’ve filled that void.

Those early summers in Gravity Falls were the worst years of his life. The calls from home were nice, sure, but his stomach flipped with nausea every time his mother called him Stanford. To no fault of her own, she made him feel as though her love was conditional, and that he wasn’t meeting any of the requirements.

He knows, of course, that it’s not true in the least, but Stan just wishes that wake-up call hadn’t come from attending his own funeral. Stan had gone in expecting to have a terrible time, but he really had thought that seeing his mother’s face for the first time in a decade would’ve cushioned that fall.

Turns out that it only made him feel worse, and he’d declared sometime later over a bottle of whiskey that his birthday must be cursed, and that he never wanted to celebrate it again.

~~~~~~~~

On June 15th, 2013, Stan wakes to the sound of a seagull screeching its head off outside his window. He groans, and sits up in bed to look out his window, but all that meets his eye is the vast sea. He looks then to his bedside clock, which reads 8:30am.

Grumbling to himself, Stan kicks off his covers and stands to his feet, because he knows if he tries to go back to sleep now he’ll be out cold until mid-afternoon. He ruffles through his clothing drawer and picks one of Mabel’s hand knit sweaters at random, because the Arctic doesn’t care what time of year it is when it comes to the weather.

Ford is already sitting out on a deck chair with a fishing rod when Stan steps out of his bedroom.

“Morning” Stan says as he approaches so as not to sneak up on his brother and spook him.

“Oh, good morning, Stanley” Ford smiles as Stan takes the seat beside him. “Did I wake you?”

“Unless you’re a screaming bird, then no” Stan rubs at his eyes. “How long you been up?”

Ford shrugs. “About an hour, hour and a half, I think? What time is it?”

Stan raises an eyebrow. “You sure you slept at all, Poindexter?” He holds three fingers mere inches from Ford’s face. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Ford smacks his hand away. “Very funny, Stanley. I’ll have you know that I got a solid four and a half hours of sleep last night”

Stan cackles. “Woah, looks like we got a new record, folks” He stretches his arms in the air. “You make any coffee yet? I’m still not awake enough to deal with the cold”

“Oh,” Ford replies, like the question caught him off guard. He stands to his feet. “I must’ve completely forgotten” he says.

That reply does catch Stan off-guard. Ford? Forgetting to make coffee? His practical lifeline? There must be something up.

Stan rises from his chair, frowning. “You sure you’re doing okay, Sixer?”

“Of course,” Ford replies, not turning back to look at him. “I’m just…tired, is all”

Okay, Ford knows that Stan can sniff out a lie from hundreds of miles away, so whatever it is that Ford is hiding from him must be really bad, because---

That train of thought leaves his head just as quickly as it had entered it the moment he steps foot into the kitchen. There’s a banner hanging up above the window that reads HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and there are a handful of multicolored balloons scattered across the floor.

And right at the center of their table sits two cupcakes and two steaming cups of coffee.

“It was Mabel’s idea,” Ford finally turns to meet Stan’s eyes, smiling. “She called me last night to try and walk me through her cupcake recipe, but…” he rubs at the back of his head as he takes a seat at the table. “It turns out that baking isn’t quite my forte” He gestures to the seat across from him at the table. “So instead, when we were still docked last night, I snuck off board to hunt down a bakery”

Ford fiddles with the paper wrapper on his cupcake. “I know it’s not much, but…” he raises his cupcake in the air like he was making a toast. “Happy birthday”

Not much?

This is winning the lottery compared to all the other birthdays Stan’s suffered through.

He takes the seat across from Ford, and raises his own cupcake to clink it against Ford’s.

“Happy birthday to you too, Poindexter”

#my writing #gravity falls #stanuary #stan pines

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meadow-roses · 3 years

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aske time :) for the writing asks: A1, A2, A10, A12, A14, your choice of anything in B, C8 ( :^) ), C11, D6

A1: Introduce the characters from one of your current WIPs in one or two sentences each.

Okay let's gooo,,, I'll do The Keepers cause I haven't talked about that one as much. These aren't gonna be the best descriptions but whatever

Ketsler: Quirky, fun-loving, everyone's weird grandpa, but also the most powerful person to have ever lived. He's old- so very, very old- and he's seen so much over all the centuries he has been protecting the worlds from Chaos, but he still makes an effort to slow down and appreciate the little things around him, because he knows better than most how fleeting life is.

Skylar: Skylar is from a world where faerie circles are real and witches turn people into frogs and trolls live in great, big castles and are slain by talking cats, a world where there's too much adventure to stay in one place, too many people to meet, and too many monsters to slay to stop running. He may be only a human (ooo mystery!!) but he is proficient in Wind magic and carries around a good bit of rune stones he and his pet dragon have found along his adventures.

Felix: Felix is just a normal human from a small town after the earth becomes united under one world power. He wasn't born with superpowers like most soldiers are, but he was still skilled enough to join a special force working behind enemy lines when the rebellion made its move to free the planet from the tyranny that built this dystopian reality.

Betty: A very sweet young lady, she's from a planet that was colonized by humans centuries ago. She may seem naive, but Betty can read anyone like a book and uses her gift to help those who are lost find themselves again.

There's more characters but I'll just stick with those main ones cause I really struggle with descriptions xD

A2: Who's your favorite character to write and why?

Probably Joden? I haven't written most of my characters, but I looove writing his dialogue. He also makes me think so I can keep him clever lol

A10: What’s your character development process like? (As in how you develop them, not necessarily their development in-story)

I roleplay them! The more developed they are, the more I've acted as them. It really gets me inside their head to try and think like how they think, and that results in me being more equipped to "discover" why they are like that.

A12: What kind of internal conflict does your character go through (want versus need, personality complexes or strong personality flaws/”fatal flaw” kinda thing)? How does this affect them?

It really varies depending on the character? For example Joden has this need to always have a plan, always be in control, and a breaking moment for him comes in when he finally just,,, doesn't know what to do. He's in over his head and the only thing he can do is trust Jacer to do what he can- knowing Jacer doesn't have things under control.

So that's an example of a flaw that the character gets to overcome, but there also characters whose flaws are part of who they are. Skylar wouldn't be Skylar if he weren't stubborn. Ketsler wouldn't be Ketsler if he weren't arrogant. They never grow out of these flaws, they just learn to control them. Or I guess not be controlled by the flaw.

This is actually something I think I struggle with for my characters, giving them those visable flaws. I see other people's characters that start out "bad" and grow into heroes, but it kinda seems like all my characters start out as heroes. 😅 I mean, they have flaws, but in comparison to other people's characters they feel really bland in that aspect. Idk

A14: Ramble about your characters. Anything special you like about them? Random little details you’ve added that you enjoy?

Uh,,, I don't even know where to start I just love all of them for so many various reasons. Joden is just a clever little genius but he still can be so naive. He just has simple pleasures and it's not hard to make him laugh or smile and practically impossible to discourage him. He starts off just,,, wanting his old life back and then he sees what the world is like outside his little bubble and the bubble pops. He sees the atrocities for what they are and to be able to settle down again, he has to fix it. He can't just smile and do as he's told, he can't let the bad guys win. It I just his mother and wife and son he's fighting for, it's the entire wood and the idea of being actually, truly, free.

Jacer is so savvy, he knows what to do and what to say to get into and out of any situation, but at the same time he's just clueless when it comes to genuine connection. He's a princeling who's really never had a friend and now he's saving the world with Joden who only knows how to make genuine connections. Why does he have to keep hugging me??

And Twylla who's ready to fight anything so she can get her clever idiot husband back?

Adric who's just doing his best to be a good leader but everything keeps going wrong. He wasn't born to be a king, he wasn't born to lead an army, he always had his big brother to help him do these things and he's gone- he's gone and he's not coming back he messed up again so bad and yet here he is with everyone looking to him for answers and he doesn't know what to tell them. But he's got his friends, and he's got a good heart, and he genuinely cares and they're going to figure it out.

Skylar just keeps running forward and he never looks back at the past he just jumps from one adventure to another stopping the monsters and saving the day. He's got Gigi what more does he need?

Felix is just,,, he's just such a nice guy. Over and over he stepped into the gap because someone's gotta fly that fighter, someone's got to fire that gun, someone's got to stabilize the bomb, someone's going to lose their life to ensure the victory, why shouldn't it be him? But he never actually dies, somehow he always survives and lives to fight the next day, and the next day and the next day, and then they win the war- the world is free. And even though he's been through so much he still hasn't lost that kindness, that love for all life that makes him himself. He still falls in love and starts a family and has his own beloved children… and even when he loses them he still doesn't become cynical. He still stands in the gap and is the one to fire the gun, to hold the hand of the one who's mourning, to scoop up the orphan child and carry them home. He fights, so others don't have to. Father to the fatherless and hero for all. Also he puts up with Skylar's time traveling craziness lol

And Ketsler? Unlike everyone else he never chose to be a hero. What are you supposed to do when you're a four year old boy and everyone tells you you're the hero they've been waiting for, praying for, you have to save them. It wasn't at all his choice to be born with the power of the universe running through his veins. To hold the Inness in his hands and bend reality to his will. But he didn't run away. He never hid from his destiny. He took the world onto his shoulders and never set it down. Only once- and he's never going to do it again. Never going to ask someone to fill in his role for him, it is his burden to bear… Except not anymore. Despite being multi-millenniums old, all that time didn't dull his appreciation for the little things. A baby's smile, sunshine through the leaves, the change of the seasons. The union of two souls in marriage, or the colors of the sunset streaking a foreign sky. He still sees these things, loves these things, fights for these things. Cause it's the little things he's fighting for, not just the big things. The precious moments and precious lives that make up the worlds. One of his apprentices asked him once, he'd been fighting for so long, when was it going to end? It's not his job to strike the final blow, to end the suffering and bloodshed, just to help. He saves the world, so that he can save it again.

I have… several more characters I'd love to ramble about but that answer's gotten pretty long so I'll cut it off there. XD

B3: Do you have any plot twists? No need to describe them, just think about what kind of reaction you want from your readers.

Oh I was just talking to August about this the other day. XD There is one plot twist in the Keeper's story I'm reeaaally looking forward to hehe I want to make people confused and then really mad when the whole thing is stretched out. >:)

C8: Does magic exist in your world? Who can use it? How does it work?

It really depends on which WIP, but in general I like to keep magic restricted with rules. Joden's story and the Keeper's story are in the same universe (along with ThRoG) and follows that magic system. It's too complicated to go in depth here, but "magic" exists in another plane of existence, and things in the material world have varying levels of connection with it. It's kinda the energy that holds all worlds together and sustains life. The magic realm- the Inness is not a place where physical matter should exist, only spirits can walk there.

Wizards are creatures that stand with one foot in the physical realm and the other in the Inness. Tevlar is destroying the world basically by turning it inside out- pulling the Inness out.

C11: Have you developed historical figures? How do you develop them? How in-depth do you go?

Oh yes. I am a complete history nerd so if any world EXISTS it has history, and history only happens because people.

Sometimes it's a thought through process of "somebody needs to go here" and sometimes it's an npc from a time travel rp that took on more importance than I originally intended.

It really varies how in depth it will go? Sometimes it's just a name to fill a spot and other times it's like, man I could write a whole book about this guy!

One historical figure would be Ares of the Pegasus. He was a powerful warrior that won a bunch of wars and united the different pegasus clans under his leadership and became the first king. He's really famous and people like naming their kids after him in a kinda superstitious hope they'll grow into attributes of his character. Ares is the male form of the name, Aris is for girls. It's like, the most common Pegasian name. XD

D6: Are there any writing styles that inspire you?

Probably the first writing style I wanted to emulate was Tolkien's, but I also really liked Andrew Peterson's? Tolkien is so dramatic, and Peterson isn't heavy on location descriptions, so I'm kinda aiming for in between I guess.

#thanks for the ask!!#sorry that took so long to answer 😅#reblog #text #writing #keepers #deepwood #shifters #ask

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natromanxoff · 3 years

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Queen live at Bingley Hall in Stafford, UK - May 6, 1978 (Part -2)

Photos were taken by Anthony Mallan.

Fan Stories

“As I write this I can't believe it is over 24 years since my first ever Queen gig. I was 15 years old and had looked forward to this day ever since I had first heard Bohemian Rhapsody 3 years earlier. Before that song Queen had just been another pop/rock group but BoRhap was the song which for me would set them apart from all others, the song that began my addiction for this band's music - an addiction which continues to this day. I had an hour long bus ride to Stafford and then had to walk to the Bingley Hall which was about 2 miles out of town. I remember while walking a couple of stretched limos passed I couldn't see inside because the windows were blacked out but I knew that it was the members of Queen in those cars and that added to the excitement. I arrived at the venue and joined the queue to get in. I was quite early but there were still a few hundred people in front of me. I bought a Black T shirt with the News of The World robot on the front and the words Spring Tour '78 and a program, both of which I still have although the T shirt is well worn. I was also treated to a young lady a bit drunk I think, taking her T Shirt off and running around half naked, quite sensational for a 15 year old lad. We were let into the hall at about 7pm and I found myself fairly near the front it was all standing and I was quite small so I was pleased to see the stage was set quite high which meant I would have an excellent view. The stage set for this tour was the famous crown and as I looked in awe at its size. I can remember wondering how they would get it to lift off the stage? I can't remember the time but probably an hour or so after I had got into the hall the lights went out and a mechanical whining noise started this was followed very quickly by white lights from the stage, smoke and then the drum beat of We Will Rock You with the song breaking straight into the chorus. Suddenly on a platform in the middle of the front row of the crowd Brian May appeared playing the "Rock You" guitar riff. I remember the feeling of joy and awe, I am sure I must have pinched myself to make sure this was really happening. After an explosion they burst into the fast version of "Rock You" and I saw Freddie for the first time. He was wearing shiney leather trousers, jacket & cap and running around the stage like a madman. It's far too long ago for me to remember every detail of the show but I do remember Freddie toasting us with champagne and at the end of '39 Roger threw his tamborine into the crowd and I had it for a split second before dropping it, I stood no chance really. The songs which I remember most from this gig were the ones which after this tour they were never to play live again: "White Man" & "Prophets Song" both were played either side of Brian's guitar solo and I can clearly remember Freddie performing vocal gymnastics during the middle section of "Prophets Song". The concert ended with a Rock n Roll medley. I remember right at the end of God Save The Queen we all started singing "You'll Never Walk Alone", then the lights were on and it was over. In a lot of respects it seems so long ago but as I am thinking of it now, parts of it are as clear as yesterday.” - Kevin Ruscoe

“It was fun reading Kevin's story about going to see Queen at Stafford Bingley Hall in 1978. This was the first concert I had ever been to (talk about starting at the top). When the lights went down and Brian started with the dynamic We Will Rock You strumming, I was captured. A couple of years ealier I had purchased Night At The Opera for a girl I fancied at work. I took it to give her and before I could present her with it she showed me that she had just brought the album herself. So much for my Night At The Opera with her! So, I had to go home, take a cold shower, and listen to music. Because it was the only album I had, I played it and played it and I discovered a world I never knew existed. Music up to that point was something that was on the radio. That night seemed to open a new and exciting world me. Not as exciting as I had been planning with her but exciting none the less. My biggest memory of the Stafford concert was when Freddie gets us to sing along with him. Whenever I heard the Live Killers album, it would take me back to that moment at Stafford when I found out what I wanted to do with my life. I write now, plays and musicals, some successful, some not. Thanks Queen for my reason to live.” - Robert

“Memory's a funny thing... and I wish to heck that I had a better one. How come I can remember useless things I don't want to know, like the winner of the first Big Brother programme, but can't remember stuff which would be far more useful... like how to order beer in any language, my bank account number... or the exact setlist of my first ever rock concert, Queen at Stafford's Bingley Hall in May 1978? Sitting down to type up this review I did a quick search on the net but only came up with a partial setlist which ends about two thirds of the way through. Very frustrating. So really this isn't a review, it can't be, but it's more a hazy recollection of just what it felt like to be a 15-year-old boy at his very first rock show. First off I remember getting the ticket. "Harvey Goldsmith presents A Night With Queen" printed in green (tickets for the Sunday night gig were printed in blue) and the price, L3.50 - laughably cheap now. I can't remember how long it was before the gig that I got the ticket but I do know that the waiting for the day of the gig was unbearable. But eventually that day arrived. Another reason it sticks in my mind is that it was the day of the FA Cup final (Arsenal beat Ipswich Town) and it was the first time I'd not sat glued to the TV from 12pm for all the build-up and the big match itself. If it had been my team, Manchester City, it might have been a different story, but I went up to Bingley Hall mid-afternoon, with a friend called Mark Butters, to join the queue and get as good a standing spot as possible. For those of you who don't know, Bingley Hall is a 10,000-plus capacity shed (a giant cowshed, really), at the County Showground just outside Stafford, and owned by the Staffordshire Agricultural Society. Before the NEC and other purpose-built venues came along, gigs at this venue (which on other occasions were filled with agricultural displays or animal pens) were a big deal, on a par with Wembley Arena and the like. Others to have played there include Abba, Black Sabbath, Genesis, Thin Lizzy, Saxon, Yes and Rush. I remember my Mum being worried sick about me going to the gig. Worried about the size of the crowd. Worried about the music volume. Worried about drugs. She was particularly worried that I was wearing a Thin Lizzy badge on my denim jacket and might get beaten up by some aggressive Queen fan who took exception to any other band. I had to persuade her that rock fans were not quite so tribal as football fans. I also remember standing fairly close to the glass-fronted doors in the queue and the physical, painful ache of anticipation. What came next is a blur - the doors finally being opened, the crush as we made our way through and our tickets were examined, the further crush by the merchandise stall (I got myself a big, square programme, which I've still got). Then I made my way into the crowd, jockeying for a position as near to the front as possible. The gig was all-standing and as showtime got closer the build-up of pressure was astonishing. I was pretty central, but there was constant swaying from left to right, if you lifted your legs you wouldn't fall, just be carried along with this sea of rock fans. Finally the wait is over (yes, I know I've changed tense, it just suits my recollections better). The lights go down. The roar of the crowd is unbelievably loud. But what comes next is even louder. As we strain to see what's going on the air is filled with a mechanical sound, the giant lighting rig (Queen's famed crown set-up) is lifting into the air in a sea of smoke. We Will Rock You explodes into the air. It's all light and smoke and noise... and suddenly there's Brian May, playing that guitar, just feet away from me. The spotlights fall on John Deacon and Roger Taylor behind his gigantic drumkit. Just one thing left now. Freddie. And he appears out of nowhere, Freddie Mercury, prancing and preening around the stage, soaking up the adulation, singing his guts out, clad in shiny black PVC. Call me innocent or naive, but back then I didn't really know about the whole gay/camp fetish thing... he just looked like the superstar he was. For the next two hours or so I am transported to a whole new place. We get the rockers (Brighton Rock, We Are The Champions, Now I'm Here, a pre-release It's Late, I'm In Love With My Car), the pop-orientated stuff (Killer Queen, Spread Your Wings, Somebody To Love, You're My Best Friend) and a superb acoustic section, featuring Love Of My Life and its amazing crowd singalong and '39, during which a string breaks on Brian May's guitar but he carries on regardless, note perfect to my ears. Oh, and we get Bohemian Rhapsody too. It's still only a couple of years old at this point, and although obviously something incredibly special is still making it's way up the ladder to immortality to stand alongside the likes of Stairway To Heaven. Anyway, it's bloody brilliant. Queen leave the stage for the opera section, enabling them to make another grand entrance in lights, smoke and pyrotechnics for the rock-out - a masterstroke! According to Kevin Ruscoe's review of this gig at the superb www.queenconcerts.com site we also got White Man and The Prophet's Song, but I have no recollection of that at all. Nonetheless it still sticks in my mind as one of the greatest gigs I have even seen over the past 28 years, and as one of the greatest events of my life. Like Kevin, I remember singing You'll Never Walk Alone at the end of God Save The Queen, a football terrace salute to a rock phenomenon. What a night!” - Ian Harvey (April 28, 2006)

Part-1

#queen #queen band #roger taylor #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #queen concerts

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suchalonelysunflower · 4 years

Text

“Entangled” (c.h) (h.s)

Pairing: Calum Hood X Reader / Harry Styles X Reader

Requested: Yes!

Summary: You never wanted to be caught up in a love triangle, you never asked to be entangled in this situation. Now you have a choice to make. You know it has to be one of them at the end but, who would it be? And why is it so hard?

Warnings: Love Triangle! Pinning, unrequited love, language, angsty with a little fluff, mentions of alcohol and some grammatical error (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 7.2 k

Author’s Note: Requested by my darling @rime-warrior a few weeks ago, I decided to turn her wonderful promt into a series. This part serves as the intro of the series! It starts with the reader in the “present” (just go with it) and then it will follow their journey with the boys since 2014. Reblogs, comments and feedback are always welcome 💕 You can read my other works for Harry and 5SOS HERE. Hope you like it and happy reading 🦋✨

@rime-warrior : Hi! I’m back lol I loved the heather imagine and I was wondering if you could do a calum/reader/Harry imagine where they’re on tour and trying to get the readers attention by being goofballs

Part 1: The beginning.

Never in a million years did you think you would end up making a decision like this. Hell, never in a million years did you think you would be here in the first place! If somebody would’ve come to you a year ago to tell you that you would’ve been in one of the biggest reunion tours of one of the biggest boy bands that's ever existed and one of the greatest pop/alt bands of the new generation you’d call them crazy and probably pepper spray them as you run away. But here you are and, surprisingly, it’s the last place you want to be at.

You are currently sitting at the stairs outside the venue, it’s the last concert on the “Here We Go Again” One Direction/5 Seconds of Summer Reunion Tour. Tapping your feet relentlessly against the cold metal and regretting not bringing a jacket with you as you can hear the fans going crazy inside the stadium, and who could blame them? They waited so long to see their favorite people again, not only that but together! After almost six years apart. You would’ve been just like them if it weren’t for the stomach ache your nerves are giving to you at this exact moment.

You knew what you had to do. It was the right thing after all, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like crazy. Somehow you were going to lose someone tonight and you weren’t ready for that, you’ll never be ready for that.

How the hell did this all start in the first place? How did you become so entangled in this mess without realizing? And how would you get out of it?

So many thoughts are running through your head, yet none of them seem to stick around for more than ten seconds before rushing onto another. Head spinning at a thousand miles per hour as you clenched your fists at the side of your body, knuckles turning white as they grasped the cold and dirty metal of the staircase.

You could run… you were kinda fast and they are all inside so they wouldn’t be able to catch you. Maybe you could move to Peru, you always wanted to visit Machu Picchu and its alpacas, plus the ponchos look really good on you. The problem was that 1. You didn’t know Spanish. 2. You had exactly 9.57 dollars left on one of your pockets because you left your wallet inside and 3. You weren’t a coward.

Well, you were. That's why you let it come this far. But you were not going to do that anymore. You need to make a decision and it has to be tonight. But why was it so hard though?

***************************************************

A few years ago

“Y/N! C’mon!” You heard your best friend say “We are going to be late again!”

Lottie was impatiently pacing around the hotel room once again, she had her bags around her shoulders as she considered leaving you behind.

“You know I have to start early today! There’s gonna be four more people to style and I don’t want to do it all rushed.” She whined, sitting on one of the beds.

You came out of the bathroom soon after, cheeks a little bit flushed because it wasn’t like you to slow things down, especially when it came to work. But you wanted to look cute today, well, more cute than usual.

The tour was about to start and you were lucky enough that management let you come with Lottie to work on the stylish team with her. Her older brother, Louis, was a close friend of yours as well, so when he proposed the idea a few months back, you just couldn’t resist.

“Sorry, love” you replied sheepishly “I lost track of time”

Lottie lifted her gaze towards you and rolled her eyes playfully “Oh, shush. You and I both know that you are bluffing. I know exactly what you’re doing wearing that outfit and honestly? Can’t blame ya”

She was right, she’s always right when it comes to these kinds of stuff.

It’s not like you’ve never met the guys! I mean, you know Louis and Zyan because of Lottie, you’ve never seen the other members of the band in person, yet. But it’s not like you don’t know them either, they are everywhere! It was impossible to escape from the impact One Direction had. And now you were going to work with them as a stylist, it seemed like a dream.

Not only that, but you were also in charge of styling the opening number: An Australian band called 5 Seconds of Summer that Louis likes. You don’t know much about them other than this is the second time they’ll open for One Direction and they’ll be around for the European and American leg of the tour. You googled them to have a reference of what they’d look like so you’ll know how to work around them and, honestly, where do they get those guys? They don’t even look like eighteen year olds! And they are also talented and successful at such a young age? You promised yourself that you were going to listen to some of their songs, but still haven’t gotten around to do it just yet, but tonight will definitely change that.

You were nervous. You could feel your hands get clammy just thinking about the pressure that’s on you to make those guys look like absolute gods on stage (though that wouldn’t be a challenge, knowing the nine of them are incredibly handsome already) But that thought didn’t ease you a bit. You wanted to be good. No, scratch that. You know you are good. You want to impress them, hence the cool outfit.

“Think you know it all?” You said, already grabbing a pillow and throwing it to Lottie’s face.

“I know it all, darling” She laughed, throwing it back at you “Now, move your ass. We need to ge to the stadium as soon as possible”

You could hear the fans from a mile away before you walked through the backstage doors. The adrenaline was contagious, everyone was moving around like crazy but you could feel the excitement in the air. You already knew this was where you were meant to be, haven’t even started but you love it already. This was meant to be.

Lottie was walking fast, easily leaving you behind as you stared in awe at your surroundings, not paying any attention towards where you were going until you felt something hard crashing into you, making you lose your balance and you fell to the floor with a massive weight crushing your lungs.

All you could feel was the painful sting that shocked your body as your ass touched the ground with a big “thud” Luckily, the person that knocked you down was quick enough to put a hand behind your head so you don’t hit it too harshly as it came in contact with the cement floors. You tried to curse but the weight in your chest made it almost impossible to talk, making you only gasp in surprise.

The person lying on top of you groaned in discomfort, they must’ve hurt themselves too when you both hit the ground. “Are you okay?” The deep voice said, trying to hide the pain. You opened your eyes at the sound of his voice and were shocked to find two green orbs staring right back at you.

Harry’s face was too close to yours. Noses almost brushing as you took in all the details on his panicked expression. He was beautiful. Breathtaking in the metaphorically and literally since he was still on top of you, crushing your chest with his.

You tapped on his arm trying to push him off you. He seemed to get the hint as he quickly apologized and stood up, offering you his hand to help you do the same. You gladly took it as the air came rushing back to your lungs, a little whine escaping your throat as you felt how your muscles ached after the impact.

“Oh shit, are you hurt?” Harry asked, faced filled with worry as he looked at you up and down, trying to make sure there were no visible injuries.

“Not really, but-“ You said bringing a hand to your lower back and rubbing it gently, hissing when you felt a hint of pain when you touched a certain spot “Definitely gonna bruise in a few hours”

“I am very, very sorry. I didn’t mean to- Do you need ice? I can get you some ice if you-“

“I’m fine” You raised your palm to cut him off, smiling as you saw how worried he actually was “Really, I’m fine. It could’ve been worse if it wasn’t for your hand working as a cushion for my head” You giggled “Are you okay, though?”

Harry nodded, smiling as well “I truly am sorry, I was not paying attention to where I was going”

“Well, that makes two of us. But why were you running?”

“Oh, ’m running away from my bodyguard. You see, they really don’t like it when you do that and steal the keys to the van” He said with mischievous eyes, flashing a smile as he showed you the key dangling in his finger. Soon after, you heard someone yell ‘Harry Styles come back here!’ You couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous the situation was. Harry stared at you for a little while, eyes gleaming at the sound of your giggles “Gotta go! Are you sure you’re okay…?”

“Y/N” You said, nodding your head.

“Y/N…” He repeated in a low voice, eyes scanning you once again as he backed away slowly “See yeh round, love” The last thing you saw was his flirty wink before he started running again.

You felt your cheeks get warmer but you were quick to hide it. This was your job, you need to be professional. Though, you gotta admit, having Harry Styles knocking you off your feet on your first day wasn’t bad at all. Really not bad at all.

“There you are!” You heard your best friend call from the other end of the hall “C´mon, we need to set everything up before they come here” Lottie came close to you, softly grabbing you by the hand and tugging it so you could follow her. She had an understanding smile on her face “Don´t worry, I was in the same position as you when I first visited the tour. It's amazing, isn't it?”

“Kinda intimidating, actually”

Lottie laughed and linked your arms together as you walked through the enormous hall downt to a small room.

You spent the next hour or so getting everything ready for when they come, laughing and joking around each other like you always do, making you almost forget that you were here to do a job and not just hang out. That's one of the many good things about the Tomlinsons, they make you feel so comfortable that you forget all your worries.

The playlist you chose was blasting on the small speaker you had brought to entertain yourselves while waiting for the boys. You were both laughing and jumping around with brushes in your hands, pretending they were microphones and you were having your own little concert with the Spice Girls. You were in the middle of your solo, already lost in the sound of Baby Spice´s voice when the door opened at the same time you were stretching your arm in an improvised dance move, accidentally hitting the person next to you with the heavy brush.

“Ouch!” The boy said as he quickly brought his hand to his nose, trying to make sure it wasn't bleeding.

You covered your mouth immediately and threw the brush into one of the cushions “Oh my- I´m so sorry. I'm so so so so sorry” You soon apologized and went over to him, trying to assess the damages and hoping you didn't break his nose “Are you okay? I really am sorry I didn´t-”

The boy opened his eyes, locking them with yours. You have never seen such an intense stare in your life, it was intriguing, magnetic. You could feel yourself blush, but you didn't know if it was because of the embarrassing situation or because you felt intimidated by those brown eyes.

“Uh.. Yeah” He said blinking when he realized he was staring at you for a little too long “I just wasn't expecting that” He chuckled to ease the tension. He had a beautiful smile, like the kind that's just so welcoming and warm, so you couldn't help but join in his laughter.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Lottie trying to hold herself together so she wouldn´t burst into fits of laughter at the scenario playing in front of her. You quickly cleared your throat and asked “Are you sure you are okay? Nothing's broken?”

“Nah, that's just his face” A voice with a thick accent said.

The boy rolled his eyes as you peeked over his shoulders. Leaning into the door frame were three other people, boys of apparently the same age, taller than life and equally amused by his hurt friend. You recognized them immediately (mostly thanks to the color haired boy) They were the opening act. They were 5 Seconds of Summer. And you just hit their bassist on the nose.

“Way to make an impression, Cal” Laughed the boy with the long curly hair. Ashton? or was that Luke?

Calum flipped them off as they made their way into the little room and you felt your cheeks get warmer again. The three of them went to say hi to Lottie, having already met her at the last tour, and started a whole new conversation with her.

“Uhmm, I can go get some ice. If you want?” You asked, feeling a little self conscious now that there were more people in the room.

Calum smiled.

“I´m good, but thanks sweetheart” He winked at you “I´m Calum, by the way” He extended his hand for you to shake.

“Y/N” You said with a smile.

“Beautiful” He said, barely even a whisper before his eyes met yours again and you swore your heart just skipped a beat right there and there.

“Hey, Calum!” Lottie greeted him with a hug “We are starting with you today, okay? Go grab a seat” Calum nodded and sat in front of one of the vanities. Lottie came closer to you and whispered “Talk about a meet cute” She teased.

You rolled your eyes and muttered a “Shut up” before you walked away and started to work with one of the other boys.

This was going to be an interesting first day.

For the next hour or so, you found yourself amazed at the fact of how much you had in common with the Aussie band. You bonded over music, fashion and you laughed at the same dumb jokes, and were genuelly surprised at how grounded they all were. They were just as excited as you for the tour, knowing what big of a chance it was and how lucky they were to be here, just like you. In a matter of minutes you were acting like old friends.

From time to time you would look at Calum over the mirror, only to find that he was already staring at you, flashing you a smile every time your eyes met. He wasn’t much of a chatter like his friends, but he still engaged in every conversation, especially if you were part of it.

When their time at “your office” as Lottie calls it, ended, he was the last one to go out. But before he stepped out the door, he gave one last look at you and said “You’ll be watching our set tonight, right?”

You smiled “Wouldn't miss it”

Calum's smile grew until it almost reached his ears, he muttered a last goodbye before closing the door.

“Well, someone has a crush” You turned around and saw Lottie wiggle her eyebrows in a suggestive way, pressing her lips into a teasing fine line. You just rolled your eyes.

“What are you talking about? He was just being friendly”

“Who was being friendly?” A familiar voice said.

You looked behind you and ran towards the slim figure that just opened the door, pulling him into a hug.

“Louis!” You squealed in excitement, circling your arms around his back as he held tighter to you.

Louis was the closest thing you had to an older brother. Growing up as Lottie’s best friend made you an unofficial member of their family and you loved them all as your own. He was always the life of the party, making jokes, teasing you and sometimes reprimanding you if you messed up. You couldn’t count how many times he took you both for a late night snack or let you hang out with him and his friends when you got bored. He also gave great advice, and you trusted him more than anything (besides Lottie, of course) The day that he went away to chase his dreams was one of the most bittersweet moments of your lives, for one part you were happy for him but you would miss him like crazy.

And now, almost five years later, here you were. The three of you, together again like old times but with a more busy schedule. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Y/N/N! It’s so good to see you, love”

“What? No hug for me?” Said Lottie sarcastically, cocking an eyebrow to his older brother.

“Only if you tell me who was being friendly with Y/N” He said as he let you go and her in for a tight bear hug.

“Who’s being friendly with who?” Someone called out from the door.

The three of you turned around to see Harry leaning onto the door. His brows frowned as his eyes scanned the room until they met yours. If he was surprised to see you there then he didn’t show it. After all, you didn’t get to tell him what you were doing here.

“H!” Lottie gasped in delight as she pushed her brother away and went to hug the curly haired man.

Harry hugged her with the same energy, holding her close and muttering a sweet ‘hello’, just like Louis did with you.

“Oi, mate! Have you met Y/N? The new stylist and best friend anyone could have?” Asked Louis as he put his arm around your shoulder, showing you off like a proud big brother.

Harry looked at you and smiled “Yeah, we ran into each other earlier” He shared a knowing smirk with you and you couldn't help but chuckle a little bit.

“Quite literally, I must say”

He was about to say something when the door opened again, you realized no one here bothered to knock first, apparently. Niall, Liam and Zayn entered the room, ready to get themselves ready before the show. Lottie introduced you to each one of them and immediately started working when she noticed how knotted Niall’s hair was.

The conversations started flowing with ease, all of them genuinely curious to get to know you, convinced that any friend of Louis was a friend of them. They were all very sweet and welcoming, and, just like with the members of 5SOS, you bonded rather quickly. All the nerves you once had easily faded away as you felt more comfortable in this space, more convinced than ever that this was where you were meant to be.

“Oi, what about those pretty eyes you saw earlier, Harold?” Liam’s voice filled the room “Seen them again?”

Harry instantly lifted his gaze to watch his friend through the mirror and shot him a deathly glare “Don't know wha you’re talkin ’bout” He stated.

You could’ve swore he looked your way, just for a moment his green eyes met yours through the mirror. It was quick, almost like a reflex. Maybe you were just imagining things.

“Ooh, does Harry have a crush?” Lottie teased while applying some oils to his curls. He just rolled his eyes “Wouldn’t be the first one to catch feelings in this room”

You snapped your head towards your friend, knowing and dreading what she was going to say next.

“Spill” Said Louis, living for the drama.

“Well…” She started, searching for your face in the mirror. But you quickly averted your eyes, suddenly finding Zayn’s hair very interesting “Let’s just say that one of your Australian mates already started making eyes at our Y/N”

The room filled with “oooohs” and “aaawwws” from all of the boys. All except Harry, who was just staring straight at his reflection with a rather serious look.

You laughed and shook your head “Honestly, Lottie. You are just imagining things”

Staring at the mirror one more time, your eyes quickly met Harry’s green orbs, already staring at you from his seat. You shot him a smile and he returned it as the topic of the conversation changed once again.

Time flew without any of you really noticing it. All the boys were done with their hair and make up, ready to move on to the wardrobe department. Lottie tagged along with Louis, wanting to say hi to a few friends she made last year. You wanted to go too, but a quick glance at your phone made you aware of the time and the promise you had made.

“Oh shoot” You breathed, quickly grabbing your phone from the vanity as you rushed through the door.

“What’s the hurry, love?” Asked Harry, amused at your behavior. You didn’t notice that he was the only person left in the room.

“The show’s about to start and I kinda promise someone that I wouldn’t miss it” You smiled “But, now that I think about it, I don’t even know how to get to the side of the stage!”

Harry got up from his chair, wiping his palms onto his black skinny jeans “I could take you there, but only if you promise to stay there for our set as well”

“What? Are you kidding?” You laughed “You really think I wasn’t planning on doing that already?”

His eyes gleamed with joy at your words and you swore you saw a glimpse of his pink tinted cheeks as he nudged his head and asked you to follow him.

You followed Harry though a complicated mess of halls filled with people running around, making sure that everything was already set to start. You had to admit, he really knew how to navigate, not only on stage but backstage as well, you would’ve gotten lost the moment you stepped outside the door if it weren’t for him.

Once you reached the side of the stage, making sure that you stayed way out of the fans point of view, Harry said he had to go back and change.

“‘S not Ashton, is it?” He asked, just before he turned to leave.

“What?”

“The boy who was a crush on you” He stated, eyes locked to the stage, almost like he was trying too hard not to meet yours “‘s not him, right? Cos I’ve seen him look at my sister and I don’t-“

“Nobody has a crush on me!” You laughed as you rolled your eyes, reminding yourself to kill your friend right after the show. “Lottie was just teasing. Besides, I’m here to work, not to look for a relationship”

Harry nodded, seemingly pleased with your answer, making his way back to the maze called ‘backstage’

You watched him walk away with a soft smile on your face. Harry was not like everyone in the media said he was, and you were glad. You didn’t need more drama in your life, no boyfriends nor toxic relationships. You could feel that this was going to be your safe space, and who knows? maybe when the tour finishes you’ll have a new friend to lean on.

The sound of a guitar riff caught you off guard, pulling your attention away from the black background and into the stage. You could hear the fans go absolutely bonkers as the four Australians came into view, smiling as they took their places on stage.

Sharing one understanding look among each other, Ashton banged his drumsticks together, setting the pace for their first song. The crowd goes wild as they recognize the melody immediately, singing and jumping along the words of a song about a girl friendzoning one of the guys.

They sounded incredible. It was hard to imagine that they were still teenagers like yourself, like most of the people in the crowd, actually. The way they moved on stage was erratic, always walking around and messing with each other as they sang and played their instruments like it was nothing. It was easy to tell that they’ve been friends for a long time now and they feel comfortable with each other, having the most fun up there, seizing every moment like it was their last,

You, on the other hand, found yourself enjoying their set a little too much. Since you’ve never gotten the chance to actually listen to most of their songs before tonight, you were quite surprised at how much fun and kinda edgy they were, making you want to dance and jump like the rest of the fans. So you did. You didn’t care about if people around you were watching, you just let yourself go to the rhythm and enjoyed your night. This was the beginning of your new life, what better way to celebrate it than letting all your worries go while your new favorite band played on stage, just mere meters in front of you.

You were so lost in your own little world, completely immersed in the music, that you didn’t notice the looks Calum gave to you while onstage. Everytime he had the chance, his head spinned towards you, watching with joy as you danced along to their songs. Once you caught his eyes staring at you, you smiled at him and stuck your tongue out, mocking him. He just laughed wholeheartedly, bringing one finger to the side of his nose, the same one you punched a few hours ago. You did the same without questioning it, turning that little gesture into your first inside joke.

The guys played a few more songs before their set ended. Calum came to you as soon as they finished their bows.

“Hey!” He said, still pumped with adrenaline.

He was sweaty, very sweaty. But his energy was contagious as he flashed one of his beautiful smiles to you, eyes shining from excitement.

“You came!”

“Told ya I was going to!” You exclaimed “You guys are amazing!”

“You really think so?” Calum looked like a boy on Christmas, genuinely happy that you like how they sound like “Or are you just being nice because you almost broke my nose?”

“Almost! That’s the key word there” You chuckled “But no, I’m being honest. You killed it tonight!”

Calum’s smile almost reached his eyes, making all of his little dimples pop out as he looked at you softly.

“Hey… Uhm.. I need to get back to our dressing room, Wanna come with me?” He asked, suddenly shy.

“Sure!” You said, making his eyes sparkle “Then we can come back and watch the others perform”

Calum furrowed his eyebrows “Oh, you’re staying for that?” He sounded a little bit disappointed.

“Well, yeah? How could I miss it” You chuckled, but stopped once you saw his expression change “Why? You’re not staying for the whole show?”

“Management doesn’t let us stay long after our set”

You muttered a surprised ‘oh’ That wasn’t fair at all! Why couldn’t they enjoy the show like the rest of you? Or even just stay backstage and do nothing but chill until the show was done? You could see Calum was disappointed in that fact too, it must be a bummer for them not to have the full experience.

“But..” He said smiling, bringing his eyes up to meet with yours again “There is an after party at the hotel later tonight, will I see you there as well?”

You nodded “Of course! I’ll be there”

“Yes! Can’t wait!” He jumped in excitement as he took a step forward and started walking towards the dressing rooms. Not before turning back around and saying “See ya there, Y/N” Putting his finger to the side of his nose and smiling when you did the same.

A few minutes later Lottie showed up beside you, knowing the concert was about to start.

“How did the guys do?” She asked.

“Oh, they were amazing! I don´t know why I´ve never heard of them until a few weeks ago!”

She hummed “Yes, they are pretty good. How was Calum?”

You looked at her confused. Was this going to become a thing now? Couldn't you just have a friend without getting involved in some relationship drama? It was frustrating and it will only end up making things awkward for everyone. It has happened before and you were not ready to experience that again.

She seemed to notice your discomfort and immediately changed the topic. Not wanting to upset you. Clearing her throat she said “Uhm.. the boys really like you”

You snapped your head towards her direction.

“They´ve talked about you a little bit, they all say you are really nice and all the yadah yadah I already know” She smiled “Harry was especially pleased with your work. He says could come and stay with me permanently on the team”

You blushed at his compliment, but before you could even say anything you were interrupted by his voice.

“Straight off the plane to a new hotel..”

The fans go wild. Quite feral, you might add. But you couldn't blame them, not even a little bit. The five boys walking down the runway was truly a sight to behold.

You felt the goosebumps run around your body as the energy grew into something quite impossible to understand. This was it. This was the feeling everyone's been talking about, and now it was your turn to experience it every night.

As the music flew through the stadium. All five of them took over the stage like it was their home, and in some way, it was. They practically grew up there, being in the spotlight since a very young age and stealing the hearts of millions around the world. They were as professionals as they were goofy, always finding an excuse to have fun and tease each other in the middle of the songs and with the public, creating an atmosphere of pure bliss wherever they went on that huge structure in the middle of the stadium.

With every song they sang, Lottie grabbed your arm and started dancing and jumping like it's the first time she heard their music and you did the same, getting completely lost in the feeling, so much so that you didn't even notice how much time had passed and just before you know it, the concert was getting to an end.

When the last song came through, the guys were scattered around the stage, running around as they took in everything they could from this experience. At some point, Harry stood right in front of you, just like Calum did a few hours ago, and while he sang his heart out, his eyes connected with yours. His green eyes sparkled like stars when he met your gaze, only for a second too long before he joined his brothers in the middle of the runway, ready to give one final bow and exit the stage where he came from.

“C´mon!” Said Lottie, pulling you out of your trance “They are going to shower and get ready for the after party. We should get going now, because I am not going to show up there with this outfit!”

You laughed at her and followed her to grab a cab, feeling more than excited for the afterparty.

You walked along the lobby, Lottie right by your side. Both of you clean, fresh and looking hot as hell as you made your way to the venue. To say you were nervous was an understatement, you were downright terrified. This was your first VIP party celebrating, not only your first day, but also the first day of one of the biggest tours of the year.

“Hey,” Lottie calmed you down, placing her little hand on your shoulder. “We did an amazing job today, sweetie. It’s time to celebrate”

You nodded and let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, trying to calm the stomach ache that your nerves created and opening the door of the hotel club.

You immediately got caught up in the dark atmosphere, flashing colored lights flying around the room and reflecting themselves onto the mirrored dance floor. Out of the corner of your eyes you spotted a few people sitting on the bar stools, some were already on the dance floor and others were just sitting on dark booths pulled against the walls, chilling as they watched the party go by. You recognize some of them, but most of them were strangers, elite people that came to celebrate and wish another successful tour for the boys.

The pressure on your chest became tighter. You grabbed Lottie‘s hand and felt some kind of comfort when she squeezed it for a second, at least you weren’t alone.

“LOTTIE!” Someone called from one of the dark booths. You could recognize Zayn’s thick accent anywhere. With one reassuring look, Lottie pulled your hand and guided you through the sea of people flooding the room.

Once you reached the booth it was easier to identify its occupants. Zayn was sitting next to Louis who, at the same time, was beside Ashton and Luke. You all exchanged your hellos as you took a seat next to Lottie.

“What’d think of the show?” Asked Louis, taming a sip of his beer.

The group started rambling on and on about the different parts of the show, their favorite moments and about the craziest fans they managed to see. You spend quite a bit talking and laughing with the guys, slowly getting more comfortable being there. It’s not like you didn’t enjoy parties at all, on the contrary, you loved them. The problem was that this was new territory, pleasure mixing with your responsibilities and you didn’t want to fuck this up. The sheer thought of that possibility made you feel ill again and you wanted nothing more than to breathe a little air into your lungs before you passed out from overthinking too much.

Scanning the room you spotted a glass door that led to some sort of balcony, you cheered internally “I’ll be right back” You whispered to Lottie, who was having a nice chat with Luke about his bone structure. She looked at you, worried. You smiled at her “I’m just going to get some air, keep talking. I won’t take long”

You almost sprinted to the door, heart racing at the thought of a moment alone to gather yourself. Once the cool air of the night grazed your skin, you felt like you could finally breathe properly. You always felt more like yourself when nighttime arrived, it was complicated to explain but it seemed like the stars could understand you better than anyone. They were your comfort and your confidants, because no matter what, you knew they wouldn't ever leave you alone.

“‘S nice to know ‘m not the only one who needed a break” You heard a familiar voice say next to you.

Harry was standing next to railing, green eyes fixed on you as you took a step closer.

“You’re not having fun?” You asked, resting your elbows on the cold metal of the balcony.

“Parties are all the same after a while,” He said absentmindedly “‘m just really tired”

“Well, that’s understandable. After the night you had? If I were you I would be sleeping until I turned 40!”

Harry laughed and shook his head at your comment “How’s your bum?”

“My what now?”

“Your ass” He said pointing at your backside “From the fall?”

“Oh! It’s fine, just a little bruised up. Which is surprising since I expected a lot worse from being run over by a six foot man”

He smiled “‘m sorry, love. If it makes you feel better I got my ass handed to me by a six foot five man right after that”

“Yeah, that does make me feel better” You chuckled, looking at the sky again “Still can’t believe I’m here”

Harry came closer to you, his arm barely inches from yours. You didn’t notice as he studied your face carefully, almost like he was trying to remember every detail “‘s like a dream, isn’t it?”

“It truly is. I-“ You turned your face to him, only to find his way closer than you remember “Is everything alright, Harry?”

He hummed, distancing himself from you as he laid his back to the railing “Just thinking”

“About?”

“That I might actually enjoy the parties if you’re around”

You were about to return the compliment when you heard the glass door open with a ferocious amount of force.

“Y/N!” Lottie yelled from the insides of the party “Get your little perky arse in here! They’re playing our song!”

You knew better than to say no to that. So you laughed as you made your way back inside, but not before saying bye to Harry.

“I’ll come and find you soon” He said with a dashing smile.

“As long as you don’t throw me to the ground, then that’s okay”

You grabbed Lottie’s hand and she pulled you over to the dance floor, not wasting any time before she started moving along to the song blasting from the stereos, you joined her almost instantly.

At that moment, you didn’t care who saw. You were having the time of your life dancing with your best friend in a party celebrating your new life. Your new beginning. Yes, you were scared. But why be scared now? Why don’t just enjoy the moment? Life’s too short to be moping around hypotheticals. Right now, you wanted to dance.

And you did, for five more songs you let all your worries go down the drain. Tonight you were living the dream and you silently promised yourself to cherish every moment like it’s the last one, no time for worries nor fears. Just fun.

“Ugh! I need a wee!” Lottie called over the music.

“I’m gonna grab some water!” You said to her before each of you made your way to your own destinations.

Once you reached the bar, you tried and failed to get the bartender’s attention. Them being to worried about the other clients waiting for a line of shots at the other side of the bar.

Wanting to rest your feet for a while, you decided to sit up on one of the tall stools they had, trying to catch your breath after that intense dance workout you just had. Your eyes began to wander across the room again out of curiosity, you wanted to know what your friends were up to at the moment.

You quickly found Liam and Niall on the dance floor, trying to copy some choreography they probably saw online and failing miserably while doing so. Louis, Zayn and Ashton were still at the booth, they were laughing hard at something that Josh had said, making Louis spill his drink onto the table. You scanned the room a little bit more, pretending like you were in a game of ‘Where’s Waldo?’ Without looking for anyone in particular. That’s when your eyes met Calum’s.

He was sitting at the other end of the bar, eyes already fixed at you when you met them. When he noticed you were staring, he quickly shot you a smile and brought his finger to the side of his nose, remembering your secret greeting from earlier. You smiled back and did the same, beckoning him to come talk to you.

He was by your side in a second

“Hey you!” He said excitedly “Was wondering where you went”

“I was just dancing with Lottie a few minutes ago” You pointed out the dance floor.

“Oh I know, hard to keep the eyes from ya” He smiled “Looks like karaoke is not your only talent”

“Oh shut up!” You laughed as you playfully punched him in the arm “I could still break your nose, you know?”

“I’m completely aware, darling. Wouldn’t mind it if you did, though”

You rolled your eyes at him “Are you having fun?”

“I am now”

You laughed again and Calum swore he had never listened to such a beautiful sound before. His brown eyes met yours again, trying to communicate everything you needed to know with just one gaze, just one moment. He was never a man of many words, but he hoped that this would be enough.

“So..” You said, trying not to get lost in his stare but failing miserably as you felt how his dark eyes took you in “What’ve you been doing, if you weren’t having fun?”

Calum smiled and shook his head “Trying to get Michael and Luke out of trouble-“

“CALUM” A voice was heard from across the room, probably Luke’s

“Like I said…” He pointed behind you at the two young men on the dance floor next to Liam and Niall, trying to balance some beer bottles onto Niall’s quiff “Cal! Come here!”

Calum sighed “I better go see what they’re doing”

“Make sure they don’t hurt themselves, I certainly don’t want to deal with covering them with make up tomorrow if they end up cutting their faces off” You joked.

“I’ll take that into account” He chuckled “I’ll find you later, Y/N” Calum said, turning around to their friends.

After a while, you decided to go over the booth and hang out with Louis, not wanting to be alone on a stool bar any longer.

“I can see you’re having fun, aren’t ya, love?” He said, putting his arm around your shoulder in a brotherly kind of way.

“I am, in fact. Thank you for asking”

“Been a bit flirty from what I can see as well, haven’t ya?”

You looked at him. He had a smug smile on his face, one brow raising teasingly as he waited for your answer. What did he mean by that?

“Uhm.. what? I haven’t been flirting with anyone” You state, confused by his question.

“Yeah? Do they know that?” Louis said, pointing behind you.

You turned your head to where he was pointing and you could see Calum and Harry, both coming from different sides of the room each one with two drinks in their hands, approaching the booth. Both of their eyes were fixed on you as they walked closer and closer, until they stopped completely in front of you.

It seemed like only then did they acknowledge each other, as they comically turned their heads to their side, looked down at each other’s drinks and then lifted their gaze to meet again face to face, mirroring each other’s movements and expressions.

“Guess you got a handful there, love” Louis whispered in your ear.

Oh, boy.

Part 2

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formerprincewille · 3 years

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I was tagged by @pamouche and @borborai in this and I finally gotten around to doing it. Thanks so much!

Fav wtfock s3 things: honestly I could go on for hours about my love for this season it’s One of my favorite things to exist in the entire world. I have re-watched it so many times and it always leaves me feeling so happy. Some specifics: Robbe IJzermans, sweet sunshine, love and light of my life, I would throw myself in front of traffic for that boy I love him so much. He captured my heart in a way few ever have. This boy. He’s just such a caring and compassionate person. He’s got his little shit attitude, and he’s definitely a tiny brat, but he is also so full of love to give. I love that he’s not flashy. He’s not somebody that a lot of people are going to notice in a crowd. He’s overlooked by everyone, including his friends. But when you get to know him you see how remarkable he is, because few people are that genuinely good. And the way he grew from hurt and lonely and angry and afraid to happy and confident and not only accepting but proud of who he is makes me cry happy tears. He’s just the best. But the other best is the yin to his yang, his beautiful, wonderful, cool, bold, funny, sweet, and completely dorky art hoe of a soul mate, Sander Driesen. When I think of what my ideal Even would be, he is it. His heart is just right there for everyone to see and he doesn’t hide it. In fact he’s extra about showing it. He’s also vulnerable and needy and feels so very young to be going through such large struggles. He makes me laugh and cry and I would dive in front of the Skam France car for him as well. Love that kid so much. Sobbe. Do I really need to say it? Holy shit they are everything. Soulmates, best friends, loves of each other’s lives. Their chemistry is so good that it doesn’t even exist in this stratosphere. It’s otherworldly. The love that they feel for each other is tangible. They’re one of those couples that when I look at them I think “now those two are going to make it”. You can just feel it. They also somehow manage to hit on so many beloved fanfic tropes but remain realistic because it’s actually canon. Like when couples in fanfic will call each other pet names but it’s rare you actually see it in canon. But sobbe is like hold my beer and goes all out with it. The way they express their love to each other is exactly what the other one needs. Sander is loud end boisterous and goes all out to make it clear to Robbe and everyone else on earth how he feels about this boy. He gives him things to make him feel special and he’s full of affection for him. Robbe is also extremely affectionate, he tells Sander what he needs to hear to feel safe and loved and they love spending time together. Their love is a balm for one another that soothes them both. And it’s clear that neither of them need the other more nor ever did. They both needed one another and met at a time in our lives that they were both in pretty low places and were exactly what the other needed. And they always will be. Sorry, getting emotional again. They’re the otp to end all otps. 🥺 The Soundtrack. I love every single song on the soundtrack. All of them, and I listened to the soundtrack so much on my Spotify that my entire top songs of 2020 were made up of wtfock s3 songs. They not only have excellent musical choices, but they are all placed within scenes so well that they perfectly complement what is happening in the narrative at any given point. Casa Milan and Zoenne and Robbe aka Flatshare Fam. I want to live there. It is so warm, it is so inviting, and it is filled with such love. The support that Robbe got from Milan, Zoë, and Senne was unmatched. I don’t know where he would’ve been without it. Could you imagine if he had had to live with his dad? How differently his story could’ve ended up? Especially with Milan, having someone not much older than he is who has gone through a lot of the same things he has. He was such a big brother figure and mentor and I’m so glad Robbe had that.

Fav clip: Scuse me I’m not picking just one so Dinsdag 16:31, Zaterdag 09:41, Woensdag 21:21, Mandaag 11:03, Zaterdag 08:44 and Woensdag 16:36

Fav scene: Their Vrijdag 21:21 reunion, morning after, ohn/mbm, singing to a shoe, the hotel scenes, and the grocery store. I’m not really sure of the distinction between a scene and a clip 😂

Fav shot: Oh god don’t make me choose. Their hands in Dinsdag 16:31 is a big one. The dual mirror shots of Robbe after Milan tells him about gay pride before the attack to him bruised and battered after. When Robbe is kneeling down beside Sander in Mandaag 11:03. The shot of Milan, Robbe, and Sander playing the pandemic game all cozy by the Christmas tree. Any shots of Robbe and Sander making heart eyes and/or kissing. Any close ups of Robbe’s face and eyes bc Herbots, man. Good god he’s amazing.

Fav kiss that Robbe initiates: Woensdag 21:21, Dinsdag 07:27 and Woensdag 17:21

Fav kiss that Sander initiates: Zaterdag 09:41, Dinsdag 16:31, and Vrijdag 21:21

Fav Sander dialogue: Can I say everything? Okay okay, I’ll give some examples. “Wow, that’s expensive!” “You and me, a hundred percent forever, in every universe.” “I’m holding onto you and I’m never letting go of you.” “🎵Ground control to major Tom. Circuit dead there’s something wrong.🎵” “Are you going to leave me behind?” (🥺) “Zero stars on booking.com.” “The moonlight was shining down on you and I knew immediately ‘he is the one’.” “Get ready to be mindblown!” “All the way or no way.” “Take it or leave it, eh?” “You could try bribing the teacher.” “Robin.” Also literally everything he said during wtfockdown because there’s not a moment where he isn’t iconic. But a really special moment, “Just because other people are close minded doesn’t mean that you should make your world smaller.”

Fav Robbe dialogue: “You touched me and I’ve never felt something like that.” “That kiss was really *head explosion noises*.” “Not in this universe.” “Sander, there is something between us. I love you.” “Jawel.” (I just love the way he says it, it’s so fuckin cute). “Fuck Chernobyl.” “Always.” And of course, his verse in eenvoud.

Fav hug: Mandaag 11:03 when Robbe holds a crying Sander. Also, does the spooning and cuddling in the hotel scenes and Dinsdag 07:27 count? Because I love that. Also Woensdag 17:21. Or really anytime Robbe is being a clingy koala. And we can’t forget his hug with Milan after he tells him about the attack. He really needed that comfort.

Fav 21:21: Nope. Nah in all seriousness they just hit different. Woensdag is my favorite in terms of clip alone because from beginning to end it is just so beautiful and perfect. The music, the tunnel, the pool, the kiss, just absolutely gorgeous. But at that time everything was still really new between them and the aftermath of that was rough. Vrijdag is my favorite clip in terms of what it means for Robbe and Sander. The clip itself is shorter, but it has much larger impact in terms of sobbe’s relationship. It’s not just their first time physically, but their emotional declaration to one another as well. It comes with a commitment. Also them falling off the bed laughing is the greatest thing ever. They are so HAPPY. So basically my answer is both, just in different ways.

Fav Sobbe instagram pic: Why are all these questions so mean? Okay- their first one together obviously because along with Robbe’s caption it’s just a showing of their love being official. But also the grocery cart pics for their 6 month anniversary. The grocery store pic in Ardennes getaway. Robbe’s bday pics of them embracing they’re SO HAPPY omg. And of course, we cannot forget the pic posted for Sander’s birthday. It is absolutely perfect. I love it so much.

Fav song/scene pair: I have a few- both examples of wildfire obviously, past lives in Zaterdag 09:41, and rebel rebel at the grocery store. But I have two more that are not at all happy clips but are two of my fave clips regardless: life on mars/zaterdag 21:43 (that scene is impeccable along with its followup which I consider them a pair but LoM only plays in the first one) and I found/zondag 15:12 (my god I love that scene it’s brilliant).

Fav message between Sander and Robbe: Woensdag 12:45 when Sander sends Robbe the sketch of them and talks about that kiss earlier being Chernobyl. Also everything during wtfockdown but especially “I love you so much Robin.” “I love you too. So damn much.” But honestly they had so much adorable banter during those clips we were truly fed.

Fav banter on Instagram: lmaooo they’re always so thirsty on main you could pick a million examples. I will say I loved their back and forth about emojis on their anniversary.

I will tag @onzeziggy @everyone-has-their-story @bowieexaminprogress @sanderxrobbee @ayellowcurtain and whoever else wants to do it. This was fun!

#wtfock #wtfam #sobbe #wtfock season 3 #tagging games

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jadewritings · 3 years

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Fractured Mind

Pairing: Sam and Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2.8k+

Warning(s): Angst, Fluff, Sadness, Mental Torture

Author’s Note: This may seemed rushed and i wont lie, it is lol. It’s been sitting in my drafts for a while but I don't wanna waste the idea so... it is what it is. This was forced too. Words forced to be written cause i so badly wanna get back into writing.

Summary: Everything was perfect, you got the guys, the kids, the white picket fence life. You were happy, until you weren’t.

“Mommy! Mommy! Look how high I’m going!” Your six year old son shouted at you from the swing. You smiled and sent a thumbs up his way.

“Make sure you be careful not to go too high, daddy.” You shouted at Dean who only laughed evilly.

You sighed and looked over to your left at Sam, who bounced your 2 year old daughter on his lap, making her giggle. It was contagious, making you both laugh.

“You two really make great fathers.” You told him, kissing his cheek lovingly.

“And you make a wonderful mother.” He smiled at you and pressed his lips to yours while one hand rested on your bump.

“Nah, I’m just a surrogate at this point. Mira and junior don’t even look my way anymore.” Sighing, you picked up your water and drank it.

“Y/N, tell me you don’t really believe that?” He asked.

“Sam, we’ve had two kids, working on our third and god knows how many more. They haven’t clung to me like they do you guys.” Mira blew a raspberry, and slapped her hands on Sam’s cheeks, effectively squishing them. “See?”

“Honey, they love you just as much as they do us. You carried them for nine months, you feed them, love them, hold them. They know you’re their mother.”

Mira turned her big y/e/c eyes toward you and squee’d in baby talk, stretching her arms out for you to hold her. You laughed, and being as hormonal as you can be for being five months pregnant, began to tear up.

You couldn’t help kissing all over her face and listening to her squeal and laugh. “You guys have no idea how much I love you.”

Sam turned your face to his and kissed you. Not just a peck, but a deep, full of love, passionate kiss.

“Whoa now, kids around.” Dean joked as he walked over to the table with junior. “Mommy! Did you see how high daddy pushed me!”

You sniffled and laughed, “You bet your butt I did! You were practically soaring through the sky bud!” Junior sat on your lap and drank his soda from McDonald’s.

Dean sat across from y’all, picking Mira from your lap and playing with her. Your heart swelled with love and pride, having two wonderful partners and two wonderful children. It was like nothing bad in the world could touch you, it was just you guys, happy and healthy.

Dean started to say something but when you looked at his mouth, no sound came out.

“What?” Dean repeated what he said but it sounded almost glitched.

“It’s... almost.. time.”

“Time? Time for what?” You looked over at Sam but it was as if Dean hadn’t said anything, he continued to eat his food.

“Guys, what’s going on?” The world started to lose its color, fading to black.

“No, no, no! Sam! Dean!”

It felt as if you were falling and your family was fading out of existence. When you opened your eyes, the room was dark and it reeked of death. Your shoulder ached and your body felt heavy. You looked around. There was no Dean, no Sam, no kids. They were gone.

You tried to struggle but the chains holding you up and the heaviness outweighed your will. You groaned, only just hearing the footsteps getting closer.

“Aw, somebody’s awake. Have a good dream?”

The man you saw when you looked up didn’t look human. His skin was pale, tribal tattoos covered every inch of his body. His eyes started to glow blue.

“Dream?” Your voice cracked from dehydration. You looked around, a needle stuck in your arm as you hung from chains connected to the ceiling. Then the flashes came. The happiness, the love, the pride, the feeling that nothing could go wrong. One big happy family. Tears threatened to overflow.

“It wasn’t real...”

“Oh honey, nothing that perfect could ever be real. Did you really think it was?”

Your face hardened, “You son of a bitch! I’m gonna kill you!” You struggled against the chains to charge forward but it was useless. Along with the dream, your strength was gone. The sight made the djinn laugh.

“Aaahh, I do love when they struggle. But, it’s time for you to sleep again and give me that sweet, sweet blood of yours.” He smiled and his eyes began to glow again, his tattoos seemingly moving down. You felt tired and went to sleep again.

“Mommy! Mommy! Look how high I’m going!”

3 DAYS EARLIER

“Dean, Y/N.” Sam called his brother, “Got a case.”

The case was in Houston Texas, almost a days worth drive. Sam had a theory as to what it was because they had seen their type before. This guy was leaving bodies in the wide open, blue handprints left on their stomachs. An easy giveaway, as Sam called it.

After setting up in the motel, Sam and Dean left you to your own devices while they went and talked to the relatives of one of the deceased. the case seemed like it was gonna be an easy kill and go home but when the brothers returned, they didn’t have any luck.

Dean sighed and fell to the bed. He smoothed a hand down his face, he seemed quite tired.

“Dean why don't you just get some sleep? You too, Sam. I can do some research for now.” you smiled at both of them.

Sam, who reached into the small fridge on the dresser behind you to grab a water, put his hand to your shoulder. “Thanks, Y/N. That would be appreciated.”

He gulped some water and flopped onto the other bed in the room. Both of the boys were out in minutes.

After a few hours you found that Djinns tend to live in ruins, usually – the bigger, the better. With that in mind, you looked up places like that and bingo bango, you had your target.

You started to open your mouth to wake up Sam and Dean but with the way Dean was snoring and Sam looking so comfortable under his covers, you couldn't bring yourself to do it. sleep was something they were long over due for. So, you grabbed your gun and knife and headed out, hot wiring a rusty old pickup truck in fear of Dean’s wrath if he saw you took Baby.

The only way to kill one was a silver blade dipped in lambs blood so you had to make a pit stop for that before reaching your destination.

It was pitch black outside, no doubt most people would be asleep. But nope, not you. Had to slice and dice before hitting that pillow oh so nice. You took a deep breath as you stood in front of a half burnt asylum. Best known because a patient who was getting abused here set it aflame. What better ruin to hide in?

“Better now than later, Y/N.” you surmised to yourself. If you could handle this on your own maybe Sam and Dean, the two big doofs would finally look your way. You feel in love with Dean first, the flirty of the two. You met him first on a ghost hunt. He almost stole it but you ended up working together on it.

The next time you saw him was with his brother, when they needed backup for a case. One you were willing to provide, anything to see Dean again. Then Sam came swooping in making you fall for him too. His intelligence blew you away. The way he cared for those around him and would do anything for anyone who needed it. You’d been stuck to them every since that case.

The Winchester brother got you, hook line and sinker. There was no way around it, your thoughts filled with them. But you couldn’t confess that to them. Why would they even like you like that. At least you thought so.

You quietly stepped into the asylum, checking each room as you went by.

Sam groaned as he turned onto his left side, slowly blinking his eyes awake. He noticed the light of his laptop still on. He sat up, wiping away any sleep left behind.

“Y/N?” he looked over to his right, the bed empty. Then he looked at Dean’s, so was his except his brother. He got up and walked to the bathroom to see if she was in there but the light was off. He started to panic internally.

Sam raced to the laptop to check what she had looked at. All of Y/N’s research was right there and even where she thought the Djinn was.

“Dean!” Sam grabbed his coat since he had fallen asleep in his shirt and jeans.

His brother jumped, “Huh- wha?”

“Y/N went after the Djinn by herself.” that snapped Dean awake.

“What?!” Sam tossed him his jacket and the keys, Dean slipping his gun in the back of his jeans and both of them rushing out to the impala.

The ride to the asylum was silent with tension in the air. Both brothers were worried of course, Dean angry at himself for not keeping an eye on her. She’d been with them for a while now. She was useful to them, not only that but they both came to care for her.

“She’ll be okay, Dean. She’s tough.” Sam cut through the tension.

Dean didn’t want to say much, his thoughts going a million miles in his head thinking if she was safe or even alive, so he opted for, “Yeah.” His grip on the steering wheel tightened, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by his brother.

Sam pulled out his phone, bringing up Y/N’s contact. If she was in trouble, they had to get to her fast.

You’d been walking around for a little bit now, but still no sign of the Djinn. Maybe you’d gotten the place wrong? Maybe there was another ruin the monster preferred. But this one was just too perfect to pass up, it had to be this one.

You walked further down a corridor, the walls had soot all over them, parts of it burned down to the dry wall. You turned when you heard something move in the distance. Your eyes narrowed when you saw nothing there. You faced the way you were walking again only to see the Djinn right in front of you, smirking.

“Well, well, what do we have here.” You reacted immediately and jabbed the knife towards him, but he was quicker. He’d grabbed your wrist and twisted it so you’d drop your weapon. You groaned but that was the only thing you’d give him. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing you in pain.

He sniffed up you neck and into your hair, making you flinch away. “You smell... delectable.” With his last word, you saw a faint glow behind you and his hand come up to cover your eyes. After that, you were out.

Dean and Sam had just arrived at the location you had saved on Sam’s computer. They both agreed it was definitely the place the Djinn would be. They got their guns and knives ready, putting the knife in their waistbands and keeping their guns glued to in front of them.

They entered the same way you had but one brother went left and the other went right, splitting up to hopefully find you quicker. The hallways smelled old and a scent of burnt wood still lingered in the air. However long it had been since the fire, the reminders of it were still there.

Dean couldn’t lie, the place had an eerie feel to it. He checked around every corner, in every room, and so far, no sign of you.

Sam did the same, checking carefully, making sure to stay quiet so he could have an advantage. He entered a larger room than the others he had passed. It almost looked like the nave of a church, benches lined up in rows with space in the middle to walk until you hit a few steps to climb. At the center of the steps, you hung from chains.

“Y/N!” Sam whispered trying to get your attention as he quickly made his way to you. You gave no response. You didn’t move at all and that worried Sam. He tapped your face a few times and held it up, whispering your name again. Nothing.

The doors flew open and Sam looked over from you. Dean’s body flew a few feet before he landed with a grunt.

“Dean!” Sam shouted to his brother. Dean grunted, “Heya, Sammy.” sarcastically. The Djinn walked in behind him.

“Is it Thanksgiving because it seems like I’m gonna have a big meal I’m thankful for.” Sam’s jaw clenched and Dean stood up from the ground.

“Get her out of here Sam, I got this.”

“Mommy! Mommy! Did you see how high I was going?” Junior shouted as he raced towards you. You smiled brightly, “Yes I did, Bug. Did you have fun?” he jumped up on your lap, nodding and breathing heavily. Dean walked up behind him and leaned down to give you a kiss. It was something you savored. You looked across the table at Sam who had your daughter in his hands, squealing at him as he attacked her face with kisses. But something in your gut told you this was too good to be true. You were kind of having Deja vu.

Then you heard it. Your name was being called.

“Sam?” you asked. The Sam across from you looked up and frowned.

“What’s the matter?” he questioned.

Again. You’re name. But this time, you definitely knew it didn’t come from him. Something wasn’t right, you felt it. This world, it wasn’t real. Flashes of memory made you realize, you were a hunter. Hunters didn’t get to live like this. They either died from a monster or by the end of a barrel. They didn’t get the white picket fence happiness.

You set Junior down on the ground, slowly getting up.

“Y/N? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Dean grabbed your arm, his face twisted with concern.

“This isn’t real. None of this is real.” you whispered.

“Not real? Baby, this is as real as it gets.” Dean answered back.

“No. No no no. I have to get out of here.” The despair and sadness you suddenly felt tore your heart to pieces. You wanted so bad for it to be real. To be with the two men you so dearly loved, to have a family with them. But you knew it wasn’t your reality.

You reached into your purse, grabbing the keys and taking off in the impala. Your heart raced, you didn’t really know where you were going. At this point you just wanted it all to end. So, you pushed harder on the gas pedal and crashed into a metal pole.

You gasped awake, heart struggling to clam. The feeling of the crash still lingering. You currently sat in the back of the impala, the familiar rumble helped to sooth you.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” You looked up and saw Dean smiling at you behind the wheel.

“What happened? Where’s the Djinn?” you asked. Sam turned so he could face you, a gentle smile crossing his features.

“He’s gone. You don’t have to worry about him.” You nodded and the car fell into a silence. Dean glanced back at you through the rearview mirror and you had a feeling you knew the question he was itching to ask.

“We were married.” you spoke, the boys turning their attention to you.

Sam looked at his brother before clearing his throat, “W-What?”

Tears pricked at your eyes, “We had kids and I was pregnant.” You laughed and sniffled, “We had a white picket fence life. Junior, was Dean and I’s son, Mira was Sam and I’s daughter. We loved each other- I... loved both of you. I still do.”

“Y/N-” Sam was speechless.

“No- I, please, Sam. Just... don’t. I know we can never have that. You and Dean probably wouldn’t even go for that, let alone have feelings for me.” The tears spilled onto your cheeks and once again, the car was silent.

After a minute, the impala slowed and pulled off to the side of the road. You sniffed and looked up, Dean turning around in his seat.

“You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to say what I do and don’t feel because I know what I want. When Sam told me you’d gone off on your own, it scared the hell outta me. I didn’t know if we’d reach you in time or if I’d have to see you dead in some ruin. I know how I feel, Y/N, how we feel.” You followed his gaze to his brother. Sam smiled and nodded.

“We love you too, Y/N.”

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aenxiome · 3 years

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Chapter 2: Chilled Conversations

As soon as I opened the front door, the sound of shouting and explosions greeted me. I made my way up to my bedroom to drop off my book bag and then headed to Jazzs' room. I entered without knocking and found my sister sitting on her bed with headphones in and surrounded by homework.

"Jazz," I called, trying to gain her attention. When she doesn't acknowledge me, I try calling her name a little louder, "Jazz." Not being in a waiting mood, I walk closer to her and wave my hand in front of her face. She continues staring at the page as if nothing is there. I look towards my hand just to make sure I didn't accidentally turn intangible on the way over.

I couldn't keep in my sigh when instead of my hand being at the end of my arm, the only thing there was an empty sleeve. For some reason, my powers have been slipping away from me more often recently. I thought I was over this stage of the ghostly experience already. Focusing on becoming tangible, I waited until my hand came back into existence then gently pulled one earbud out of her ear.

As soon as it came out, I had her full attention, " Little brother," she greeted. Then, she looked at me, signaling that I should tell her what I wanted so she could get back to her work.

When I didn't answer her right away, she pushed away from her things and patted the side of her bed, allowing me to sit down. I readily take her invitation as I flop down onto her bed and lay back to stare at the ceiling. She studied me for a moment and let out a sigh, "what's wrong this time? You haven't hurt yourself again, have you?" I don't answer for a moment as I try to get comfortable before answering, "It's nothing like that. It's just.." I pause, thinking of how to go about this before deciding that it wasn't worth it, " Never mind, it's been a long day, that's all." She turns back to her work and gathers it all together before placing it on the floor and laying next to me.

" Okay, and?" she says, prompting me to go on. I thought about not telling her about anything at all, but the silence broke my resolve. I put a hand up to my face and rubbed my eyes before telling her about my day, leaving out the ongoing argument I have with Sam and Tucker about my ghost powers and the talk with Mr. Lancer and Ms. Tally.

I would rather deal with the lingering anxieties about both of them than come clean to Jazz. She always means well, but she can be a bit of a mother hen. I don't know why she does it, but she constantly analyzes all of my arguments, and if I told her about the meeting, I would be doomed to relive the whole thing. She is always asking questions. I blame the fact that she is a budding psychologist.

As I tell her about the hallway incident, I notice Jazz slowly turning red. It wasn't long until her face resembled her hair. Once I got to the fact that I had to stay after school because of my tardiness, she was scowling and had a fist full of bedding. " You told her, right? You told Ms. Tally why you were late, didn't you?" she interrogated, I shook my head no, and she let out a sound of frustration. " You can't keep letting Dash and the others do you like this! It isn't right you do understand that don't you?"

"Well, what else was I supposed to do?" I mumble to her. She sat up quickly, starting to lecture, "Tell somebody! But, seriously, Danny, if you let this go on, you're going to be in more trouble than detention." I couldn't think of anything to say; she is right after all.

" I said that I didn't tell Ms.Tally during class, not that I didn't say anything at all." Jazz looked relieved as if I finally got some reason in my brain. " So what are they going to do?" she asked impatiently."The teachers are going to keep us separated in classes, but besides that, I'm not sure what else they are going to do." she looks put out, " that's it?" I nod my head, yes, and she lets out a small groan, " well, at least that's better than nothing."

Even though this is a good thing for me, it is still worrying. What if other people start getting messed with? What if the next person that gets picked on can't take it? I would rather be the A-Lists punching bag for the rest of high school if it means that everyone else is left alone. I'm left by myself to my worries as Jazz goes back to her homework, and I go to grab mine. I end up doing my homework in her room with us both, enjoying each other's presence and silence.

By the time dinner comes around, Jazz is finished with her things, and she comes to look over mine. The only things that she was unable to help me with are astronomy, math, and science. Unlike me, STEM classes aren't her area of expertise. She can breeze by any other type of class no problem, but these classes are something she has to try to excel in.

Once Jazz is satisfied that my work is up to par, we head down the stairs into the kitchen. When we get there, it is empty. The only sign that anyone else is home is the array of sounds from the lab connected to it. I open the lab and take a peek inside. My parents, Jack and Maddie Fenton, are hunched over a table filled with different mechanical parts.

I go down, double-checking to make sure I'm completely visible and grab their attention. " Hey, Mom, what's for dinner?" She startles and drops the part in her hand, then looks up at me. " Oh, hey sweety, when did you get home?" Unfortunately, the lab doesn't have a clock, so I can only estimate when I answer, " A couple of hours. It's almost nine O'clock. Are we going to have dinner?" By the time I am done answering, Mom has already gone back to her parts. I stand there for a couple more seconds before interrupting again, " Mom?" Finally, she answers me absent-mindedly, " Maybe later, go upstairs. We will talk about it later."

I rush back into the kitchen, look at my sister, and give her a solemn nod, and then we get to work. We go back and forth between cabinets, the fridge, and the stove as a well-oiled machine. It doesn't take long before dinner is finished and is hitting the table. While I wish we could make dinner as a family, I can't help but feel that only Jazz and I should handle the food. Dad can't make anything more complex than a peanut butter sandwich, and Mom, well, let's just say her cooking is a bit unique. Just about every time she makes something, the food ends up having some kind of side effect. The food is either glowing or has come alive.

I suspect it's some kind of weird ecto- contamination.

While everyone is supposed to decontaminate themselves before leaving the lab, if they have messed with ectoplasm, Dad has difficulty remembering to do so when fudge is involved. At least when Jazz and I make it, there is at least an 80% chance that it comes out normal. I may have once or twice accidentally contaminated food when I was sick before, but since then, I have been extra careful not to do it again. I don't like having to fight my food for dominance.

This time Jazz went down to the lab and brought back our parents for dinner. As usual, dad stuffed his face as soon as we sat down, and mom brought back her latest gadget to fiddle with. We eat in silence until, "So, Mom, what did you do today?" Jazz asks, attempting to make small talk. Mom hums in thought for a short moment before, " Mostly just working in the lab today. We were trying to figure out how that ghost has managed to get our Fenton Thermos to work. He was at the Nasty Burger today; you should have heard those poor people over there. They were convinced that menace was there today to save the day!" She looks between Jazz and me and tells us seriously, " Just you two wait, it won't take long now for that thing to mess up. Once people start to see its true ways, everyone will know that all ghosts are evil."

I discreetly make eye contact with Jazz and signal that I want this conversation done with. A look of understanding is in her eyes, and she steers the conversation away from ghosts to some psychological thing that I don't understand. I quickly finish eating and head to my bedroom. It doesn't take more than ten minutes before Jazz comes in and shuts the door behind her. She leans up against the door and looks at me accusingly, " So the Nasty Burger, why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?" I started my defense immediately, " I told you about school and what was wrong earlier. It's not like you asked for a play-by-play of my entire day." She continued to glare at me until I mentioned that it was only the Boxxy.

" I don't see why you give him that ridiculous nickname, you're only getting him madder." I looked at her with fake surprise, "I make Boxxy mad oh no, it's not like I want to annoy him or anything." She gives me a look, and I roll my eyes back at her, " come on, it's not like giving him a nickname is going to hurt anybody. Maybe lose a couple of boxes, yes, but I make sure to bring them back." Jazz turns around and leaves with a huff.

I spent the rest of the night going back and forth between playing doomed and chasing the odd ghost that has made its way out of the zone. Since my parents have been held up in the lab, I have been unable to let go of the ghost I had previously caught throughout the past day or so. So finally, just before midnight, I make my way to bed and hope to make it through the night without any more interruptions.

I wake up hours later, feeling ice running through my veins. When I open my eyes, I see a pale blue mist escaping my mouth and into the room. I groggily sit up and look through my window to see the mechanical ghost rushing towards the house.

I let my transformation bubble over me and phase through the wall just as an ectoblast flew past me. I create an ecto-shield around myself and rush out to the middle of the street, away from FentonWorks and closer to the ghost. This ghost is immediately recognizable, with his armor being a staple piece of his being.

"Ghost child," he says in greeting, while I respond with my normal amount of displeasure, "Skulker." He prepares his weapons while spewing out his regular monolog, " This will be the day I, Skulker the Greatest Hunter in the Ghost Zone, claims your pelt welp." He pauses for a moment as if imagining something and then says a little out of character, "You know you would look perfect hanging in front of the fireplace. Maybe I'll only put half of you at the foot of my bed." He hums to himself while I stare dumbfounded, "decisions, decisions, oh never mind, I'll figure it out later. Prepare to die welp." He starts shooting his ecto-rockets and regular ectoblast immediately, hardly giving me the time to dodge them.

" I have been telling you this for months, first off EWW," like, gross, " Second, what is your problem it's like 3 in the morning!" Skulker just laughed and kept shooting. I noticed how much damage was happening to the neighborhood around us and did my best to lead him to an empty lot not too far away. It didn't take long as we were flying at speeds around 100 mph ( 161 kph). We exchanged ectoblasts and kept our shields around ourselves until one of us either lost too much energy or broke the other's shield.

My breath was quickening, and I was becoming less energized. The back and forth went on for a while, and both of us were tired. Both of our shields were starting to show some wear and tear, with small cracks running through the ectoplasm. Skulker's shield broke first, shattering like glass and leaving him defenseless.

I rush forward with the Fenton Thermos in hand and get ready to suck him up when he sets off another ectoblast that grazes past my face. The pain makes me hesitate, and Skulker pushes away from me, creating distance once again. I huff in annoyance, causing a spike of ice to fire out of my mouth and into the ground. Skulker and I both look towards the ice, me in shock and him in apprehension.

"W-What was that?" I ask breathlessly, still in shock; Skulker didn't look any better, gaping at me. I go up to him and slap him in the face, grabbing his attention. "What Is that?" I asked him again. He looks back and forth between the spike and my mouth and then goes closer towards the spike. He pokes it and then immediately takes his hand away. "It's solid ice," he informs me, "just touching it brings chills down my spine. How did you do it? " he asks in wonder.

"I don't know," I stammer out, " but can I guarantee you I plan on finding out how." We float in the middle of the lot for a few more moments before I ask, "Truce for the night?" He nodded his head, yes, and then I brought up the thermos once again. Skulker looks at me with dread, "Any chance you will let me get back to the Zone on my own?" I smirk at him and let out a small laugh, " No," I laugh once more, "Not a chance." I say as I suck him up into the thermos.

As soon as he is back in the thermos, I stop laughing, and my face turns into a grimace. My cheek is bleeding out a mixture of ectoplasm and blood, while the rest of me is in the middle of blooming into an array of bruises.

I look back at the ice and break a piece of it off, planning on taking it with me to study it. However, once it breaks off, the ice starts to turn powdery and crumbles into my hand. I look at its tiny crystals, mesmerized as it melts away. Before leaving the lot, I take a survey of the damage. Most of the ground has burn marks covering it, and the area around the spike is frozen over. I look away in shame at the damage before flying away.

On the way home, I turn over, floating on my back, and look up at the stars. With my enhanced eyesight, I can see them better than the naked human eye, almost as good as a low-quality telescope. The stars have always mesmerized me, taking my breath away. Every time I see them it's as if I get lost in their brightness, their shine. I would give just about anything to be among them. Instead, I take my time floating on home, trying to enjoy the sight for as long as possible.

Once I get to the Fenton Works sign, I float back to my room intangibly and drop through the floor to the lab. I empty the thermos and look around for the first aid kit, then go back upstairs. Luckily for me, my parents have already gone to bed, so my presence wasn't noticed.

I bandage the side of my face and check the rest of my body before heading back to bed, hoping to get some more sleep.

Unfortunately, by the time 6 AM came around, I had no such luck. Twice more, I had woken up by my ghost sense going off. Even though they were just a couple of octopuses and other animals, they still took some time to gather up.

Once I get ready for school, I rush to Jazz before she heads out the door and persuade her to let me ride in her car to school. Once we were settled in, I fell asleep, but it didn't take long for us to arrive, but I was gone to the world. Jazz had to resort to poking me in the ribs to wake me up.

"Late night again, little brother." She says, already knowing it to be fact. I let out a cautious yawn and rubbed my eyes, "What gave me away? I ask groggily. She runs her hand through my hair in a calming motion as she replies, " well, between wanting a ride and the new injuries," gesturing to my face, " it wasn't hard to guess." We sat there in silence for a little bit, with Jazz running her hand through my hair and me leaning onto her. We don't leave the position until we hear the warning bell ring and hurry out of the car.

I wave to my sister, " have a good day." She smiles at me and tells me the same, but before we separate, she grabs my arm and turns me around to face her. "Remember to remind your teachers about the A-List," I nod to her, " if they don't do anything when the class first starts," she tells me seriously. "Okay, okay," I reply, "come on, we're going to be late. Jazz gives me a quick hug then rushes down the opposite hallway.

I'm almost to English when a hand comes out of nowhere and knocks me into the wall. The impact had my body crying in agony as it put pressure on the bruises going across me. I look up with pain in my eyes to see Dash and a couple of his cronies boxing me in. I try to see past the jocks looking for a teacher, but I couldn't see a thing with them towering over me.

Dash didn't even say a thing before he delivered the first punch. I take a couple more as the other two keep me in place before we hear the shout of, "Detention!" The others turn around and move just far enough apart to see Ms. Tetslaff the P.E teacher coming towards us. She is a tall, intimidating woman with light brown hair and blue eyes. I don't think I have ever seen her out of gym clothes, and she lives to keep the A-List in trouble.

Once she comes in front of us she corners me while I start sputtering excuses, " well you see-" I started to explain before she cuts me off. " Get to class Fenton, now you Baxter are going to follow me to my office," she turned to look at the others, "You two as well." All of us looked at her as if she had lost her mind, but Dash still looked to be in denial as he showed no sign of worry at being in trouble.

I rush off to class trying to make my way to class before the bell rings and Ms. Tetslaff changes her mind. I make it into the classroom just as the bell rings and go towards my normal seat as Mr. Lancer Calls out to the class, "Before you all get comfortable I need you to gather your things and move to your new assigned seats." The class let out a sign of displeasure. Everyone went up to the podium and another set of groans were heard. I take a look and see that all of the A-List were separated. I checked for my own name and to my joy Sam, Tucker, and I were still grouped together with the only difference being that we were brought up to the front of the room.

This is going to be a good day.

All of my classes containing students from the A-Lists were given new seating arrangements giving me a new hope for my grades. So far classes are quieter but nothing else has seemed to change. Many of the A-List were called out for making a scene in class and hopefully things keep getting better.

It was at lunch that my luck ran out as I once again came face to face with Dash Baxter. " You must have thought that was so funny, didn't you Fenton?" He says accusingly, I tried to stay neutral but I still couldn't help the look of mirth that is planted on my face. Finally he is being held accountable. Dash was getting closer to me when one of his buddies called him off reminding him that he was in trouble and that he doesn't need to get into anymore.

Half way into lunch was when Jazz appeared. She sat down at our table, put her elbows on it, and laid her chin in her hands. She looked at me with the fakest smile that I have ever seen and said in a sing-song voice, "Oh, Danny, is there something you forgot to tell me about yesterday?" I started to pale as she went on, "Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that you told Mr.Lancer and Ms.Tally about a little ghostly occurrence?" If her look could kill I would be a pile of mush.

"Danny," Sam interjects, " what is she talking about?" looking at me suspiciously while Tucker is stuffing his face looking between the girls I start to crack under pressure. "Whaz et uhg detesuin yezteraay?" Tucker inquires with his mouth full.

" well you see… it wasn't exactly a detention," Sam and Tucker give me a betrayed look, probably thinking the worst, " I thought it was, I swear," I tell them sincerely. " Ms. Tally brought me to Mr. Lancer's office and wanted to ask me about my attendance, grades, and stuff." I Look at Jazz in the eye trying to convey that I didn't see any harm in my words, " I didn't know they would talk to you I swear! I was only trying to be honest." Her anger lessened at my words but the hostility is still there. " I only told the basics, nothing in detail I swear!"

"What exactly are you going on about?" asked Tucker, having his mouth free of food for once. Sam nodded her head agreeing with Tucker wanting an explanation. I put my head in my hands and said, " All I did was say that the house is loud and that it can be hard to sleep, and that some of the ghosts have an unhealthy obsession with us." Sam looked thoughtful, " Well that doesn't sound too bad," Jazz amended ", but then again I guess you could have done worse."

"Hey," I exclaim offended, " you're the one who said honesty is the best policy. It's the truth… not the whole truth but not a lie either."

Jazz gave me a look telling me that I am all forgiven but said, "Next time a little heads up would be nice."

"I'll keep that in mind."

#danny phantom #danny fenton #jazz fenton #skulker #Maddie Fenton #jack fenton #fanfiction #fenton family #fanfic

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raagaspeaks · 3 years

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Naked Emotions and Silent Cries

“So how many brothers and sisters do you have?”

That one question. I stumble. I still do, if I’m honest, but it’s a quick, dull thud of emotion compared to the raging, blood-draining torrent it used to evoke in me.

The answer is always the same, two brothers. ‘Oh what are they doing now?’, the next question arrives. The whispers in the background are the hardest. A sad gloomy voice overpowers and screams in me for the answers (and the reasons why I can't give them...).

Grief. Pain. Hearbreak. Shock. Loss. Anxiety. Panic attacks... its has been there. One after the other. Learning to deal with it , all at once ever since.

In the midst of the birth of a new year, most of us are celebrating, hoping for a better year. Looking forward for blessings. I wish you all well. But as for me the last new year, on 01.01.2020 was the darkest for me & my family. Every new year will never be the same, ever again. I lost my dear brother.

Some of you might already know what happened, some might know half of the story. I have poured my heart to some of you. Thank you all for still being there. But today there was a need for this to be spoken again. To tell you the truth, I was lost. I completely shut myself. Social media was my saviour. Memes, posts gave some sort of life I guess. I have been drained trying to be there for my family, being the eldest, it was extra.

Since its been a year, and yeah its 01.01.2021. The grieve has been awakened again. As if I am back to square one. It still feels somewhat surreal. This is not story that I want to share only for my brother, but for all those struggling. This is for all whom are fighting a silent battle. Hard.

My brother was stressed out with a number of things. I can't name one. It was something I acknowledged but others might failed to. Believe me, He was an amazing son, great friend, wonderful brother. More than that he was a carefree soul. He was always against oppression, advocate for depression. A star in his Uni. A reporter. But, I am convinced that there were more to the untold stories in which he hid behind his carefree smiles. I guess things escalated quickly in his mental health. But, living in a judgemental society & traditional family its a struggle. He was different & Life was unpredictable. The consequences were high.

My brother took his own life on the 1st of January 2020 at 4a.m. in which I found him only at 1pm in his room. He was just 21. He was supposed to fly to UK on 21.01.2020 for further studies. It was on new years night. Who knew? No one saw this coming. I mean who will! No signs. Nothing.I still blame myself till date for not checking up on him that night. It kills me every day. I pray that no one should go through what I went through that day. Its an image stuck in my memories that I will bring up to my grave.

Typing this, waves of emotions colliding my thoughts. "What do i tell when tell others when they ask? It still hurts to call out his name. Especially since both my brothers share the same last names. Roobhan. How do i talk about this? Its was not an accident. It was not something physical too." The answer was Mental Health. A common word used in today's generation. I have always acknowledged it as a disease.

My brother was the one that taught me. He was always advocating against suicide. He always acknowledged the fact that Depression is similar to any physical condition. If you can't see it, it does not mean that it doesn't exist. Never even in my wildest dream had the thought of experiencing it personally, loosing a dear loved one, the very person whom fought against all of this in the first place.

With all this grief, I beg you today to speak your heart out. If you are battling with depression, anxiety, insomnia, sucidal thoughts or any form of mental health, please seek help. Professionally. Remember It's Not Your fault if somebody calls you a burden. Its never you. Its them. There is No Shame in asking help or Reaching out.

As for the rest, please STOP being judgemental. LISTEN before you talk. All they need is a caring heart & a listening ear. Do not assume, define your own definitions of stress. Mental illness is a disease! Just like any fevers, headaches etc. Acknowledge that. If there is anyone that takes a step, comes forward to share anything to you, be open minded & Listen. Stop telling them that they are Weak or blame them by saying that that they are seeking attention. If a person opens up to you & still tries to be there for you as well despite all the hardships they are battling with, trust me they are the bravest people you will ever meet.

As for my brother....There were times when he was alone. No where to go and no place to call home. He didn't want to be lonely. To my lost boy. I hope you finally found your Neverland.

💔 Lost Boy- Ruth B

#mental health #mental heath support #mental heath awareness #suicideawareness #journey #motivation #siblings #raw writer #writers #my writing #my life #i miss u #family #positive #moving on #goodreads #good vibes #emotions

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mysingularitybts · 4 years

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The Kidnapping of Persephone a Min Yoongi One-Shot

Pairing: Min Yoongi x reader

Genre: Greek god AU, romance, angst

Warnings: Kidnapping?

Long ago Hades saw a beautiful woman named Persephone. He became infatuated with her as she was beautiful, kind, and brought life to those around her. She was completely different from his life in the underworld. After a talk with Zeus, they planned to take her away and into the underworld.

Persephone was on a field filled with all types of flowers yet in the distance, she saw a peculiar and rare blue flower named Smeraldo. Walking over to the blue flower the ground started to shake and a hole formed in the ground taking sweet Persephone into the underworld.

When the goddess Demeter, mother of Persephone, found out about her daughter's kidnapping she was outraged. How can somebody do that to sweet Persephone? She didn't have any enemies; everyone loved her. It took Demeter a long time to find her daughter, but with much insisting Zeus broke and told her where her daughter was located.

What Demeter didn't know was that during the time she spent her away from her careful eye Persephone had fallen in love with the god who kidnapped her.

Thinking her daughter was kept against her will Demeter came up with a plan to get her back.

She snuck into the underworld while Hades was in a meeting with his brothers and took Persephone in her sleep. Knowing Hades would come after her she gave Persephone to one of her sons and demanded that he protect her. With the help of the goddess Hebes she gave Persephone and her son a new life.

For thousands of years, Persephone lived hundreds of lives with her brother by her side. Never knowing her true identity. Meanwhile, in the underworld, Hades was furious; he demanded Demeter to tell him where his beloved was, but nobody knew where to find sweet Persephone, not even her mother.

As civilization changed the location of Olympus did too. From Greece to New York to now South Korea. The many gods take new appearances and names to fit in with the crowd, luring people in, and having kids with them, demigods. Most of them did this all except Hades or as he is known as now, Min Yoongi. No matter how much his brothers and sisters insisted on him moving on he couldn't do it. When he was not doing his godly duties, he was found in his throne staring at the other one beside him waiting for its owner to return home to him. He has tried countless times finding her, but each time there were fewer traces of her existence found. Being the god of the underworld, he was never the cheeriest, but without her, he has turned stone cold. His only reason to live was to find his beloved.

There had been no clue as to where she was until recently when Dionysus blurted out a very important piece of information. He said that he missed his brother whom he didn't get to see anymore since his mother sent him away on a mission, but now that he was in South Korea they might meet up. He knew Demeter wouldn't have let her daughter alone; she must have sent her away with someone and it was now clear who that was. With newfound hope, he sent one of his loyal soldiers to find her.

Seoul, South Korea 2019

"Where are you going y/n?" Jin, her brother, asked from the living room.

"I'm going to the park with Holly, it's time for his walk," you responded, putting the leash on your little dog.

"Don't be back late," your brother told you as he went back to watch tv.

"Yes, I know," you said in a monotone voice while shaking your head. He always says the same thing.

"See you later,"

You didn't understand why your brother acted so overprotective it's not as if you were a teenager anymore. You were 23 for god's sake still I guess being the last family member left he became extra protective. For as long as you could remember it has only been Jin and you together against the world. That was enough for you since he always made sure to take care of you and help you with whatever you needed. What more could you ask for?

Getting to the park you sat down on the grass and played with Holly for hours. He was a very energetic dog. As the sun started to go down, you put Holly back on his leash and began the journey home. It's been very peaceful these last few days and that irked you. It felt like the calm before the storm. As you walked home a shadowy figure followed behind you making sure to keep his distance. Once the shadow had enough information it went back to its master to report what he had gathered.

"I think we found her master," the figure said in a sinister voice.

"Are you sure?" Hades asked gravely.

"Yes, her aura is just the same as Lady Persephone's" His soldier replied once again.

In that instant, Hades began his planning to get his queen back. Hope began to fill his being for the first time in a long time.

"I'm home," I yelled as I took off my shoes and let Holly free.

"Great, dinners ready," Jin yelled from the kitchen.

After having some dinner and talking about the day behind them they finished dinner and went their separate ways.

"Y/n, I'm going out to see some friends," Her brother announced from his place at the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah," you yelled from your room.

"Don't be out at night," he warmed for the millionth time.

"I won't," you replied for the millionth time.

You went to the garden, your favorite place in the house. You considered you had a green thumb since your plants never seemed to die on your watch. While you had a variety of plants in your garden your favorites were the flowers. You could spend hours just admiring them and taking in the wonderful aromas they let out. A few hours after tending to the plants you decided it was time for bed.

The next day you woke up ready for a new day. You got up, made breakfast for you and your brother, and then cleaned the house. Seeing as you had nothing to do, you decided to once again take Holly out for a walk. As soon as you grabbed the leash Holly was by your side excited to go out again. You just chuckled at his excitement.

It was a nice day out. The sun was warm, the sky was blue with gray clouds, and there was a breeze not allowing the sun to make the day warm. You walked along the sidewalk at a slow pace taking it all in. You got to the park, let Holly out of his leash, and kept a close eye on him. He ran around with the other dogs in the park chasing each other. That is until you couldn't see him anymore. Quickly you stood up and started calling out to him, yet he didn't make his way to you. With dread filling you, you started to desperately look for him all around the park.

"Holly?!" you shouted with panic in your voice.

It wasn't until you went to the entrance of the park that you saw him in the arms of a man, a handsome man at that. He was rubbing Holly's head, your little dog enjoying all the attention he was receiving.

Walking closer to the man he noticed you.

"Is he yours?" he asked as he pointed at Holly.

"Yes! I've been looking all over for him," you revealed panting as you had just basically ran all around the park.

"Oh, I must have gotten carried away," he said, "I saw him almost leaving the park and I figured his owner was still in it so I grabbed him before he could leave," he handed you Holly back.

"Thank you so much," you said to him, holding Holly to your chest. "I don't know what I would've done without him."

"It's no problem at all," he gave you a small smile.

"I'm y/n," you introduced yourself extending your hand.

"Min Yoongi," he shook your hand. It was odd he felt familiar.

"Can I offer you a coffee?" you asked, "It's the least I can do,"

"Alright," In his mind all was going according to plan.

That was the beginning of your love story with Min Yoongi or so you thought. After you grabbed coffee you saw how amazing he was, and to your delight, he asked you out on a date. You went on many dates each better than the last. From walks in the park to dinner dates to afternoons in the arcade, he never ceased to amaze you yet you couldn't shake the feeling you knew him somehow.

Jin had noticed that for the last few weeks you'd been going out more and more until he finally decided to bring it up.

"So, y/n where have you been lately?" he asked curiously.

"oh um-" you hesitated to tell him since he could be so overprotective at times but decided against it since you had started to officially date Yoongi.

"I met a guy," you simply said with a sheepish smile.

"Really? What is his name?" your brother asked in a surprised tone.

"Min Yoongi," as you said his name you felt a blush creep up your cheeks.

"Well, why don't you bring him to dinner tomorrow night? I'd like to meet him," Jin offered with a smile.

"Really? Yeah, I'll tell him,"

You were excited because finally your brother will meet Yoongi and there will be no more secrets. At that moment you whipped your phone out and sent him a quick text to which he replied almost immediately with a 'sure'.

The next night everything was ready at the dining table. You had dressed up a little more than usual trying to look cute for your boy.

You were finishing setting up the table with Jin when there was a knock on the door. Rapidly you walked to the front door and opened it with an excited smile. Seeing you excited he let out one of his adorable gummy smiles.

"Hi," you said breathlessly.

"Hey, you look beautiful," he complimented you, giving you some rare beautiful blue flowers. His eyes didn't leave you as he took you and what you were wearing in.

"Come on in my brother's in the kitchen," you waved him in so he would follow you.

You walked into the kitchen with Yoongi trailing behind you. Jin was finishing up something on the stove and sensing you had walked in he starts saying,

"Dinners ready," as he turns around, he drops one of the plates out of shock.

He did not expect this outcome. He did not expect the man he has been running from for hundreds of years to be standing in his kitchen. Yoongi gave him a smirk letting him know he had won.

"Jin are you alright?" you asked worriedly.

"...yeah, yeah, you know how jumpy I am," Jin said with a nervous laugh, "go to the table I'll bring this in a second,"

He didn't know what to do. He wasn't prepared for this. That was not completely correct; he had been prepared long ago, but he had gotten used to nobody finding them. Without a thought, he sent a prayer to his mother letting her know they had been caught.

After awkward introductions dinner was served. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, and you didn't know why. There was a normal conversation between you and the boys but not between them. Jin was usually a pretty friendly and easy-going person making you even more confused.

Out of nowhere, the front door opens with a bang. You all stood up to see what it was about when you saw a woman standing there. You heard Jin whisper, "Mother," Mother? What? You don't even remember the lady standing by the doorway. You thought your other had died when you were a baby. Then to your side, you heard Yoongi growl, "Demeter."

Standing there confused you didn't know what to do or think. There was an unbearable tension between everyone and in a second all hell broke loose.

The lady or my mother or Demeter started yelling at Yoongi.

"What are you doing here, get away from her," she roared at him.

"And you" she pointed at Jin, "I gave you one mission. To take care of her and you invite him into your home. I am so disappointed."

You just shrunk to the back of the living room since she gave off a powerful aura that intimidated you.

"You cannot tell me what to do. Know your place, Demeter," Yoongi told her in a dark voice. You had never seen him speak that way and more than that you saw darkness around him arise.

"You thought you could keep her away from me forever? You're wrong," he kept talking as the darkness grew.

"Hades you kidnapped her and held her against her will. I couldn't let her live like that the rest of her life trapped in the underworld," Demeter then yelled back.

Jin reached out for you and held your hand not knowing how this was going to play out. You just stared terrified, your only comfort being Jin's hand.

"I did not keep her against her will," He roared, "We fell in love and everything was perfect until you took her away from me," he got closer to her until they were chest to chest.

"And it will stay that way," Demeter said in a threatening tone.

You have had enough of what was happening in front of you and decided to confront the situation. Jin tried to hold you back but you shrugged him off.

"What is going on in here and who are you?" you screamed pointing at Demeter then you turned to look at Yoongi.

"Yoongi do you know who she is?"

"Pers- y/n wait," Jin tried to intervene, but then you remembered what the lady said and turned to him, "Jin mission?"

"y/n you don't understand," Demeter said.

"Demeter give her memories back, you cannot play with her life like this," Yoongi said with a defeated sigh, "Let her decide what she wants to do."

"Decide what?" you asked, glancing at him.

With that Demeter strode in your direction and with a finger touched your forehead. In an instant, you felt immense pain in your head. Flashes of memories appeared in your mind each brighter than the last until you couldn't bear it anymore and blacked out.

Yoongi quickly reached out and held you before you could fall to the floor. The three gods just waited for your awakening. Jin close to his mother and Yoongi beside you on the sofa.

Yoongi was worried because what if after so long you did not feel the same way. Had all his searching been for nothing? He didn't want to think that way. At least he took you out of Demeter's controlling hand.

Meanwhile, Demeter was worried about Hades' words because what if they were true. What if you really had fallen in love with him and now hated her.

Jin was processing what just happened and he only hoped you were okay. He didn't care if you hated him or not, he just wished for your well-being. He had become close to you after spending many lives together. He just wanted what was best for you and he now thought he knew what it was.

Even though you woke up with a splitting headache nothing had ever been clearer. Everything from your numerous lives, to being taken away from Hades, and the constant protection of your brother. Opening your eyes, you looked around the room and the people in it. You sat down on the sofa and Yo- Hades took your hand in his.

"How are you feeling?" he didn't mean just physically he meant it in every aspect emotionally and mentally too.

You felt your emotions overcome you as you took his head in your hands and smashed your lips against his. You felt him sigh in relief as he kissed you back with much more emotion and longing. It was a kiss filled with love, passion, and want. It was a lover's kiss after being apart for so long. You felt him grip your hips with force afraid of you disappearing from his eternal life again. It must have been horrible for him living centuries without his loved one. While you always felt something missing it did not compare to his pain seeing as your memories had been tampered with, but after so long your life finally felt complete. Pulling away short of breath you glanced at the other two people in the room.

You stared at your mother, "How could you do this to me?"

"I thought you didn't want to be there," Demeter said repent in her eyes.

"You could have asked," you told her in a cold tone.

"I just- "

"Didn't want to lose me?" you completed her sentence bitterly, "It's too late for that now."

Taking your eyes off her you looked at the person beside her.

"I'm sorry I didn't know any better. I hope one day you can forgive me," Jin said with sadness in his voice.

Out of everyone, it was Jin who hurt you the most seeing as you had become so close to him. You only nodded at him.

With a flick of his wrist, Yoongi apparated you back to the underworld. You spent many months without leaving his side making up for the lost time and reassuring him you were not going to leave him again. Being the king of the underworld Yoongi or Hades was a serious god, but everyone in Mount Olympus could see a spark in his eyes they thought he had lost long ago.

As time passed you forgave your brother seeing as it was not his fault since he was just following orders. Truthfully, you missed him, so you always made time to go visit him. In terms of Demeter, it took you centuries to be civil with her again but as immortal beings, you had to let go of the past at some point. It was hard to let go of the feelings of resentment, but you made do. Your mother also tried to make it up to you as much as she could.

At last, you took place beside Hades in the underworld and became Queen. It was different as most things in the underworld were dead and you, the goddess of fertility, were used to a different environment, one filled with life. But Hades always found a way to make you happy and comfortable.

He spoke with his brother Apollo so he could bring a bit of sunlight to the underworld and then he built you your own space filled with life. So, in the depths of the world of the dead, you could always see a bright spot amid the darkness. A garden filled with beauty, life, and most importantly flowers where the sun never stopped shining.

If she wasn't by Hades side Persephone would be there tending to her precious plants, but it wouldn't be long until he found his way to her. Bathing in the sunlight he laid on her lap as she brushed her fingers against his hair. There were challenges along the way but they always managed to stay together in their little garden. Forever.

A/N: As always if you guys enjoyed it please make sure to like and reblog. Let me know what you think!

See you guys later ;) 💜 x

-Nikki Marie

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bitterlikesweets · 3 years

Text

Love Bites Ch 19

This is the nineteenth chapter of a modern/vampire AU ereri fanfic. You can also read it on Ao3. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | Special | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19

It would be a stretch to say that Eren and his older brother ever got along well. Zeke hated him. He had since the day they met.

"Met." Because Eren didn't know Zeke existed until he was ten years old.

When Eren was a little kid, he didn't know anything. His parents were the epitome of being in love. Every time they were together, his father would shower his mother in kind words and affection. He always made her smile. He would even bring her gifts every time he came back from his monthly family reunions.

His dad never got Eren anything, but that was okay. As long as he got stuff for Eren’s mom. As long as his parents loved each other, Eren didn’t mind. That was enough. Because it made his mom smile. And Eren’s mom loved Eren no matter what. Eren loved her no matter what, too.

She loved Eren more than usual during his dad’s family reunions.

When Eren asked his father why he never brought Eren and his mother along, Grisha Jaeger just said it wasn't time yet.

They never really explained to Eren how it all happened. Why things with Grisha's first family didn't work out. Zeke just showed up one day, Grisha's hand on his shoulder as they stood in the doorway.

"Eren, this is your older brother. His mom's very busy, so he'll be staying with us over the weekend."

It took Eren awhile to wrap his head around it. How was it possible for Zeke to be Eren's brother but have a different mom? Why was Zeke not living with them?

Why did they look so different?

Eren's mom was very patient. She explained about falling in love. About falling out of it. And how sometimes people are left behind when that happens. She told Eren he could still believe in love. That sometimes it ends, but a new one could start in its place.

"I might not be his first love," his mother said, "but I am his favorite."

His favorite? Eren believed that for a little bit. But he always wondered why his dad kept going back to visit his first love if that was really the case. It wasn't to visit Zeke. Sometimes their dad would still go to see Zeke's mom, even if Zeke was staying with them, babysitting Eren.

"If it wasn't for you," Zeke always used to say, "he would still be with us. He would be my dad, not yours."

Why? Why was it Eren's fault?

When did his parents start arguing in the middle of the night?

Zeke started getting nicer to Eren eventually. When Eren was thirteen and Zeke was sixteen, Zeke started to be almost kind. Saying that it wasn't Eren's fault after all. They just needed time, and everything would work itself out.

Turns out, everything "working out" meant Grisha going back to his first love. Which meant Carla Jaeger was not his favorite, after all.

It made more sense to Eren that love just didn't exist. Romantic love was stupid and fake and wasn't real.

His mom finally agreed with him when Grisha moved out.

When Eren was fifteen, he saw his brother for the last time. He dropped Eren off at his house after school and told Eren he wasn't going to come back anymore. That Zeke no longer had to pretend they were really family.

Eren and his mother got the news a few months later. Somebody broke into the Jaeger household—the other Jaeger household—and now everyone in that other family was dead. The police told them it was a burglary.

That's what they said about Eren's mom too, in the official reports. A burglary; a mother dead, and a son injured, but otherwise fine.

Eren should've realized it then. A burglary with nothing stolen. A report he'd already heard once before. He should've recognized the similarities.

But he didn't connect the dots because things were different then, with his dad. When it happened to Eren and his mother, it wrecked him. It still wrecks him now. It didn't feel real at all. And now he misses her so, so much.

When Eren was fifteen, finding out that his father and older brother were gone for good, he doesn't remember feeling wrecked or sad or missing them.

He doesn't remember feeling anything at all.

Seven years later, knowing who killed them, Eren feels…

Eren feels exactly the same.

Maybe he's been a little monstrous since way back then.

~ ~ ~

Eren wakes up to moonlight, rain, and the smell of smoke. He blinks up at the unfamiliar gray ceiling, unconsciously fiddling with the fleece blanket loosely draped over his body. He's too big for it; it's pulled up to his chest and his ankles stick out the bottom. It's strange though; he remembers dropping onto the couch with nothing but his sweater as a makeshift blanket. The curtains too. He swears that he closed those last night, and hey—Eren can hear rain, so why is everything so dry outside?

Eren sits up slowly, his eyes scanning the room with narrowed eyes. There are a few more things different from how Eren remembers them. The wooden knives and stakes he remembers putting in front of Levi’s small closet are nowhere to be seen, and there’s a light on in the kitchen. The rain sounds seem to be coming from there too.

When Eren gets up to investigate, he finds Levi sitting at the kitchen counter, a mug in his hands as he stares blankly down at his steaming drink. There’s a candle in front of him, and a little speaker by the wall at the edge of the counter.

Eren knocks on the wall, and Levi looks up, his gray eyes brighter than before, a bit more alert.

“Good night,” Eren says with a nod.

The corners of Levi’s quirk up for a moment.

“Good night,” Levi says, moving his mug up to his lips.

“It looks like I turned you nocturnal,” Eren says, pulling up one of the tall chairs beside Levi’s.

The smell of smoke seems to be coming from the gray candle in front of Levi—its label says “Fireside”—and when a single tap of Levi’s finger against the speaker causes the rain to stop, all of Eren’s questions are answered.

...All of his more trivial questions, anyway.

“I should make a midnight shift at the Kitchen just for you as revenge,” Levi says.

“Hmm…” Eren drops his chin into his hand, stroking an imaginary beard with his fingers. “Doesn’t sound like too bad of a deal, honestly. How much do you pay?”

Levi scoffs instead of answering, and Eren smiles, moving his chair closer so that he can bump shoulders with Levi. Levi leans against him in response.

“Thanks,” Levi says quietly. “For yesterday.”

Eren’s smile softens, and he presses his face into Levi’s shoulder.

“Anytime.”

“I…” Levi clears his throat. “I was pretty out of it. If I had known that you—”

Levi clears his throat again.

“You didn’t have to sleep on the couch,” Levi says, his ears getting a pink tint. “If I had known you were staying over, I’d have told you so.”

Eren’s face burns. He’s immensely grateful that his head is tucked against the fabric of Levi’s shirt and out of sight.

“O-oh. I, uh—Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind, f-for next time.”

“Yeah,” Levi mumbles. He’s leaning more heavily onto Eren, though his head is turned away. “Good.”

And then things are quiet for a moment. Eren absentmindedly shifts his face from Levi’s shoulder to Levi’s neck, a deep sort of relaxation pooling in his chest and shoulders when he does. Something about it sets him at ease, even despite the slight throb in his fangs that comes from his close proximity to Levi’s veins.

Though his bite scars do start to itch a bit. Again.

“Eren,” Levi says.

“Hmm?”

“I’ve been… thinking about some of things you said yesterday.”

An image of his blond brother’s face flashes through Eren’s mind, and he stiffens. One of Levi’s hands immediately finds its way to Eren’s back, resting hesitantly there.

“We don’t have to talk about it though,” Levi says. “If you’re burnt out.”

“No,” Eren says quickly, raising his head out of the crook of Levi’s neck and pulling away slightly. “No, that’s, uh… We can talk about it.”

Should Eren tell him? He really doesn’t want to tell him. It’s probably hard enough on Levi with that family as strangers with no other connection to him. If he finds out that that man was Eren’s dad—that the Feral King is Eren’s brother—

“Alright,” Levi says, though he sends a confused frown Eren’s way. “Just tell me if it’s too much.”

“I will.”

It’s not like it changes much for Eren either way anyway. They’ve been dead for seven years already—he thought they all were anyway—and he was never angry at that anonymous killer. His mom was devastated, and that made him sad, but…

Shit, it’s fucked up that he didn’t care, isn’t it? He was fifteen, and on TV, people were always telling their parents to go die, so, at the time, he thought it was just one of those “hormonal teenager things” that every adult in his life was always going on about. It wasn’t like he was relieved or happy when they died! He was just… indifferent.

...Maybe he should’ve taken his mom’s offer when she told him she’d take him to see a therapist if he needed one.

“That thing you said,” Levi says, though Eren’s only half-listening, “about people changing. About how not everyone does. I think that… helped a lot. For a while, I didn’t think I…”

Eren tries to redirect his brain. It’s far too late to be over analyzing his teenage brain. He thought his dad and his brother were dicks, and he never knew Zeke’s mom, so he didn’t give a fuck when they died. Is that awful? Probably. But that’s not the thing Eren’s worried about right now.

Should he tell Levi? Now that he’s thinking about it, it might be worse to keep it from Levi. If they go and try to kill those vampires who turned Eren, they’ll probably run into Zeke. Zeke will probably recognize Eren, and springing that whole “yeah, this asshole is my brother” thing onto Levi in the middle of a life or death situation is a terrible fucking idea. So, Eren definitely has to tell him. Should he tell him right now? How is he even going to explain—

“...Eren.”

Eren blinks, green eyes wide as he looks over at Levi. Levi just sighs, setting his mug down on the counter.

“I told you we didn’t need to talk about it.”

“No, no,” Eren says quickly. “That’s my bad. I don’t mind talking about it. I just… Have a lot in my head right now.”

Levi’s expression softens a little, and he reaches up to rest his hand against Eren’s cheek, the tips of his fingers settling in his long brown hair.

“We’re a fucking mess,” Levi says.

Eren can’t hold back a laugh, covering Levi’s hand with his own.

“Good thing you like cleaning,” Eren teases, and Levi rolls his eyes.

A pale thumb gently sweeps back and forth across Eren’s cheek, and Eren leans into the touch, his mind clearing a bit. His thoughts are no longer quite so fast, so frantic. It’s a bit easier not to focus on them with Levi there as a physical distraction, pulling Eren out of his own head a bit.

“What’s in there?” Levi said, shifting his hand to knock his knuckles against the side of Eren’s head. “I’ll help clean it up.”

Eren’s smile wavers, his gaze lowering.

“It might make your own head messy again.”

“That’s fine.”

Eren takes a deep breath.

“Furlan… Yesterday, when I called him, he told me the name of the Feral King.”

Levi nods.

“Zeke.”

“Zeke Jaeger,” Eren says.

Levi frowns slightly but nods again.

“I’ve… never told you my full name,” Eren says. “It’s Eren Jaeger.”

Levi’s eyes grow wide, his hand falling away from Eren’s face, but Eren hurries to grab hold of that pale hand before it can fully retreat.

“Eren—”

“Just wait,” Eren says. “Please. Let me explain.”

Levi scowls, but he keeps his lips pressed shut, even as his hand fidgets in Eren’s grasp.

“He’s my brother,” Eren says. “My older brother.”

“But I—” Levi clutches his head with his free hand. “Your… your mother—”

“No,” Eren says quickly, leaning towards Levi. “No, Levi. Not my mom. Zeke’s my half brother. We only share a dad. My mom was killed by ferals, just like I’ve always said.”

“You—” Levi shakes his head. “You talked with Furlan—You’ve known this since yesterday—why are you still here?”

“Levi, that doesn’t change anything for me—”

“Why the fuck not?” Levi snaps, yanking his hand out of Eren’s grip. “Eren, I—I killed your family!”

“Levi, no—”

Eren tries to reach for Levi’s hands again, but Levi abruptly moves them out of reach, his chest heaving.

“Don’t.”

Levi tries to wipe off his hands, his black eyebrows pulled downward into a deep scowl. Eren clenches his hands into fists, struggling to get air into his lungs.

Levi’s angry—not at him. Eren has to fix this. Levi’s hands—where are the paper towels? If he turns away, will Levi run? Does Levi even want his help? He wants to touch Levi. Levi doesn’t want that. He needs to finish explaining. He doesn’t want to go into detail about that time. Zeke, his dad—they’re haunting him like unruly fucking ghosts. He didn’t want to make Levi spiral again—He feels fucking sick, like his stomach is boiling—

“I don’t get you,” Levi snaps. “Why—knowing what I did—did to you—why are you still here?”

“Because I love you—”

“Why? Why are you siding with me over them?”

“Because they never fucking did!” Eren exclaims. “Always—it was always only my mom, just my mom—my dad never—Zeke never—”

Eren’s eyes are burning. His throat aches. He hates this. He doesn’t want to yell at Levi. He’s not yelling because of Levi. It’s because of his fucking dad, because of Zeke, because of those bastards that he was finally able to not think about after all these years—

“Why would I choose them over you?” Eren’s hands are clenched into tight fists. He feels a sharp pain in his palms and ignores it. “They never loved me. You do.”

Eren looks over at Levi, who’s staring at him, practically frozen.

“...Don’t you?”

Levi’s mouth opens and closes without words for a moment before he manages two words in a quiet, hoarse voice.

“I do.”

Eren’s eyes are still burning, aching. When his eyesight blurs, he wipes at his wet eyes. Pale hands are retreating from him when his sight is clear again—Levi reached out to him but is already pulling back. Frustration burns in the pit of Eren’s chest, and he’s reaching out before he can think better of it.

“For fuck’s—I don’t care, Levi, just get it on me,” Eren snaps, grasping Levi’s hands and covering them with his own. “It’s not like it’s going to fuck me up even more—I’m already—”

Eren goes stiff when he catches a glimpse of Levi’s face. It’s flat, masked, emotionless. Whatever anger that was in him cools immediately, and Eren quickly releases Levi’s hands, internally cursing himself for his insensitive, stupid mistake. Has he learned nothing from everything that happened yesterday? This is it. He’s fucked up absolutely everything—

“You…”

Levi’s eyes are on Eren’s hands.

“You don’t make any sense,” Levi says.

“I… I’m sorry.”

“You really… don’t care?”

Eren winces, his gaze dropping to his lap.

“That’s not what I—it was a bad choice of words—”

“It doesn’t change how you feel about me?” Levi asks, his voice a little louder, more insistent.

“N-no,” Eren says. “It doesn’t.”

“Even though it’s your brother.”

“My brother’s a murderer.”

“So am I,” Levi says, shifting his gaze from Eren’s hands to Eren’s eyes.

“Yeah, and I will be too, soon,” Eren says. “But I love you and my brother runs a murder cult that lead to the death of my mom.”

Levi stays silent, and Eren bites his lip.

“...Does it change things for you?” Eren asks. “The fact that I’m not bothered by it?”

“No,” Levi says immediately. “I just… don’t… It’s hard to believe. For me.”

“That I don’t care about my brother?”

“That you love me,” Levi says. “Because when I did that, I… I still don’t… Trust myself.”

Eren’s shoulders lower slightly, his expression softening.

“Do you want me to prove it?”

Levi frowns.

“...Can you?”

Eren holds out his hand. Levi just continues frowning at him.

“What do you see?” Eren asks. “When you have to clean your hands off like that?”

Levi’s mouth opens and shuts once before he answers.

“Blood.”

Eren's breath stutters a bit. He'd been wondering about that...

Slowly, he reaches out to grab Levi’s hand again, pulling it closer until Levi has to lean forward. Eren keeps pulling until Levi’s hand is flat against his chest, right over where his dead heart lies beneath the surface.

“Levi,” Eren says, smiling slightly in spite of everything, “I’m a vampire.”

He slowly raises Levi’s hand higher, pressing his lips against Levi’s knuckles.

“It’ll take more than a little blood to scare me away.”

“That…”

Levi lets out a deep sigh, getting out of his seat.

“That’s the cheesiest fucking shit you could’ve said.”

Eren’s face grows hot at the unexpected insult, and he drops Levi’s hand, unable to make anything more than incoherent noises of offense in his current headspace. By the time Levi has stepped closer, all Eren can manage is—

“Wha—I’m out here trying to prove my love to you, and that’s what you—”

Eren is interrupted by Levi dropping his entire body onto Eren, and Eren wraps his arms around the man’s back to stop them both from falling off of the chair.

“Levi?”

“Sorry,” Levi says. “It’s… habit.”

“You need to work on that,” Eren grumbles, burying his face into Levi’s neck again, the action immediately setting himself at ease. “One of these days I’m seriously going to get offended.”

Levi nods, still leaning heavily on Eren and showing no sign of trying to hold up his own weight.

“I hope…” Levi says quietly. “...Nothing’s able to scare you away.”

Eren smiles, holding Levi tighter.

“Nothing will,” Eren says. “I promise.”

Not the blood on Levi's hands, not Eren's dad, not the Feral King. Nothing's going to scare Eren away. He's certain of that now.

Levi sighs, and Eren’s fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt.

“What about you?”

“Hm?”

“Is anything going to scare you away?”

Levi scoffs, pulling back just enough to look Eren in the eye.

“You’re going to wish something could.”

Eren grins, leaning in to press his lips against Levi’s.

“No, Levi, I don’t think I will.”

#ereri riren #ereri #riren #ereri fanfic #riren fanfic #fanfiction #sorry this is late i forgot which day of the week it was haha

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