#it seems like he went from the darkest place to reach his comfort place again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ranhaitanisgf · 5 months

Note

heyyy! can i request “love at first sight” and “seven minutes in heaven” with baji where the reader meets him at a small toman party and they are intrigued with one another please😩😩💓?

— baji keisuke // love at first sight // seven minutes in heaven

[𖤐] hiiii guys i went over 1k again ! tbh tho i had no idea what i was doin w this, i just let the force guide me and shi lolol. not super haooy w this but i dont wanna rewrite it, and it seems good enuf, so meh. getting back into the swing of things once again. hope yall enjoy anyways!

[𖤐] fem!reader implied

wc ; 1.8k+

masterlist || 2k masterlist

you were quite unsure of what to do.

of course, you hadn’t been fully on board when hina and emma had both invited you to this party, but you were around 70% on board because at least you would be able to hang out with the two of them. it wasn’t exactly that you…distrusted the people they hung out with, but it was more so of the fact that you had no idea who any of them were, which somehow made it just a little bit more scary. you were also quite sure that if it was found out that you were not actually spending the night at hina’s that you would be in for a world of trouble, so you wanted to make sure it would at least be worth it.

at this point in time, it definitely was not.

you had figured that hina would probably be with takemichi for some time of the party, and you had also figured that emma may be with draken for some time, but you hadn’t imagined that they would be absolutely nowhere to be found.

you went into every room you deemed decent to try and look for them, but it seemed as if they had disappeared into thin air. given that this wasn’t your house, nor somebody’s house that you know, you weren’t exactly sure that you felt comfortable going into random rooms, so now you were stuck.

it had been quite boring to be standing in the kitchen for closer to an hour now, doing nothing except watching people linger and talk from the doorway, grabbing the occasional handful of chips and cup of soda that was on the counter. you felt more and more awkward as each moment passed, feeling quite out of place in the party where everybody seems to know each other.

you would have been more than happy to take the last train home and just sneak back into your room, but your farecard was currently hina’s wallet for safekeeping, so you were stuck here, the awkwardness slowly consuming you.

all you could do was sigh and watch the party unfold, swirling around the now flat soda in your hand, wondering what to do now. at this rate, you were highly considering the option of just walking home; at least you wouldn’t have to wait for them until they suddenly decided to appear again, right?

it seemed like the best option at that point, so you threw out the cup in your hand and made your way to the door, grabbing your coat on the way out. the moment you stepped outside, you relished in the fresh night air; you hadn’t even realized how stuffy it was inside the house until you were out of it.

it wasn’t until you reached into your pocket for your phone that you realized there was somebody else there.

“sorry, pardon me.” you murmured, stepping around the person to go down the rest of the steps to the house.

“huh? who’re you?” you heard from behind you, the voice surprisingly deep and smooth. your steps faltered before you stopped, turning back around to glance at who was talking to you.

in that moment, it almost felt like the flow of time was stopped from how he seemed to capture the entirety of your attention.

the long black locks that were flowing down his shoulders were reminiscent of the deepest and darkest night; one where the moon was hidden away in its stupor of the sky. the eyes that you locked onto were the most entrancing golden amber, and they were slightly widened as they looked right back at you.

a silence ensued between the two of you before a gust of wind blew some hair into your face, snapping you out of your trance.

“o-oh! right, i’m friends with hina and emma, but i couldn’t find them so i was just leaving…”

“...”

“...” you were unsure of what to say after answering his question; you now badly wanted to stay and know who this mystery boy was, but you really had no excuse to stay and talk with him.

“well, i’m going to go now, so enjoy your night…”

“uh, why don’t you stay?” the boy hesitated for a moment, then got up and flashed a toothy grin, exposing his sharp canines. “everyone was wonderin’ who you were ‘cause emma and tachibana didn’t introduce you.”

“oh, really?” he nodded his head in response, stepping a bit closer to you, (he was somehow even prettier up close).

“my name’s baji keisuke.”

“oh, i’m (l/n) (y/n), nice to meet you.” the goofy smile he gave made your heart skip a beat, breaking eye contact with him so you didn’t seem too obvious that you were very interested in him.

“c’mon, i’ll do all the introducin’ this time, since i saw them all goin’ to the convenience store to get more soda.”

“that’s where they are? seriously, why didn’t they tell me…” you murmured, flipping open your phone. the dead battery screen popped up, making you sigh. “nevermind, that makes more sense.”

you felt a bit nervous going back inside the party, but the uncertainty you felt about going back again was promptly washed away when baji put a hand on your shoulder and flashed a smile.

“no need to worry. everyone here ‘s just a buncha idiots.” you could only smile and nod at his words, feeling more nervous now about hoping that you made somewhat of a good first impression.

all nervousness was washed away when you witnessed the scene going on in the living room.

when you and baji walked in, it seemed like everyone froze in their place and looked up at the two of you, blank stares on their faces. the whole group was sitting in a circle with a bottle in the middle, which was quite the odd scene given the fact that everyone in the circle was a dude.

you leaned over to baji’s shellshocked form, a curious look on your face as you loudly whispered, “so does everyone here swing that way?”

as soon as you said those words, the whole room erupted in noise, multiple voices talking over each other to try and explain what the two of you had just walked in on. you could understand why baji had said that everyone is idiots, but nonetheless, you still thought it was hilarious.

you chuckled as baji seemed almost disappointed in his friends, not listening to any sort of reasoning that they were trying to do.

suddenly, there were some hushed whispers between his friends, before they seemingly came to a decision. without any warning, two of them grabbed the both of you by the shoulders and started dragging you two towards an open door.

“what the hell’s goin’ on? get the fuck offa me, mikey!”

“hehe, you’ll thank me later, baji!”

two moments later, the two of you were shoved into what seemed like a closet, the door slamming closed, leaving the two of you in darkness. baji banged on the door for a minute, yelling at his friends to open it up and trying to turn the handle before he eventually gave up, joining you in sitting on the floor.

“sorry about this. i told you though, they're all just a buncha morons.” he sighed, shaking his head. your eyes were more adjusted to the dark now, so you could make out the faint outline of where he was sitting in front of you, but not enough to see the expression on his face, (you felt a little sad at that).

“it’s alright, it’s not like i really have anywhere to be right now.” you murmured, a cheerful lilt to your voice. “this is certainly more exciting than the three hours i’ve been standing in the kitchen, at least.”

“you’ve jus’ been standin’ in the kitchen? no wonder i didn’t see you, i was playin’ mario kart with everyone.”

“mario kart? are you any good?”

“‘course i am! i was kickin’ all their asses!” you giggled a bit at his insistence; it was rather cute the way he was insisting his skill in mario kart.

“hmm, i guess i can believe you for now.” you teased, making baji grumble something about his ‘true racing talent’.

you weren’t really sure what to say now though, especially considering you just met the guy less than ten minutes ago. how were you supposed to get to know him without making it obvious that you thought he was really attractive?

maybe ask about his hobbies? or ask why he was outside? no, that seems like i’m prying, right?? the weather is always a fine subject too…? no, that’s way too boring. favorite food? favorite video game?? maybe-

“what’re you doin’ after this?” you pulled yourself from your thoughts, looking back up to baji. you felt a little skip of your heart at the question, fidgeting a bit with your fingers.

“nothing really…i mean we were just going to go back to hina’s place to sleep, but that’s it.” you didn’t get any sort of acknowledgement from him, which piqued your curiosity a bit.

why did he even ask in the first place?

a few moments went by, with you wondering if you should say something to break the silence once again. you wanted to keep hearing his voice, and you wanted to keep talking with him about something--anything, really. normally, you wouldn’t have such an issue with starting a conversation, but this time around, it seemed like everything you wanted to say just wasn’t right.

“...do you wanna get ramen at the convenience store with me?”

“...”

“i-i mean you don’t have to, but i jus’ thought that maybe you would wanna know more about everyone in case you come to one of these things again- you don’t have to though, i mean- shit, uh-”

“sure!” your face broke out in a smile, though you weren’t sure if he could see it. “i would love to.” the audible sigh of relief that came from him made you giggle a bit. “were you nervous to ask that or something? i don’t bite, y’know?”

“well, yeah, i mean you’re really pretty so- i mean you’re really cool…” you saw baji bury his face in his hands, obviously regretting his choice in words. “hah…shit, i messed that up…”

you, on the other hand, were quite stupefied. a word even more intense than that, if that was even possible.

he just called me pretty…

“you…mean that?”

“...yeah…”

a few moments of your surprised silence went by, wondering if you should say something in response.

you shuffled over next to where he was sitting, fiddling with a piece of hair as you built up a bit of your courage. baji’s hands left his face, going to rest on his knees as he leaned his head against the wall. his amber eyes flicked over to you, seeming to almost glow in the darkness of the room.

you leaned towards him a bit, cupping a hand around the side of your mouth as if you were about to tell a secret you didn’t want anybody else to know.

“you’re pretty too.”

this party was definitely worth it.

reply to this post "rindou = chicken little" for a pt. 2 lolol

270 notes · View notes

thehypermaniacprince · 8 months

Text

[DE NOVO]

A alternative universe where R is killed under mysterious circumstances, and K rushes towards her body.

K hands R her bloodied jacket after moments of silence between the two. K asks, “Do you remember how you died…?” R sits. She traces the imperial R on the back of it, her fingers running alongside the texture of denim. Her fingers hit a hole, filled with dry patches of blood. She feels like she is recalling something long ago. It’s blurry. But the emotional low is still there. “Yes… no… I do not know.” K’s face falls even more. R wonders what she said wrong to him. A high ranking imperial, she deduced, from the clothing he wore. “…I do not know how to tell you this fully, R.” K, now staring blankly into R’s mask. “Hands of an imperial…” “…Wrought your life away. I do not know what reason though.” K seemed to wince. Emotional pain, or physical pain, it hurt regardless. K looked away from R after that. It felt like the chills of a bad dream. The deluded feeling of never being real. But it was, wholly real, and K could not shake it so easily… … R’s robes fluttering in the wind, propped up by staff. A message written so shakily on paper buried by the sand. He felt bitter sweetly happy for R, in that moment. He hoped she was alright. He thought she was. Feet shuffling in the sand. He was halfway back, when a distress signal emanated from somewhere. He’d check who sent it, and he felt a pitfall growing. It’s R. He dropped everything and ran. He didn’t care how much sand was piling in his boots. How scorched and rocky the territory was within Borealis Island. … He couldn’t quite exactly recall what R said to him during those moments, for her voice was but a whisper, her blood pooling against both his robes and R’s jacket. Such iridescent blood, on his hands too. He didn’t even know what to do anymore. For such shock filled his systems alight. What stuck in his mind, however, was R weakly grasping the staff that pierced through her body, her eyes barely gazing at him. … “AN IMPERIAL HAS FALLEN!” was the last thing he remembered someone say. Did he yell that with such force? … K felt unshakable, inconsolable. He’d felt trapped. Why did he be honest about the circumstances of R’s death, to an R he did not remember? Was that still his R? What even could become of the R he knew if her life wasn’t stopped so short? R noticed how K sat there, possibly recalling everything that was but distant to her. She didn’t know what to do, either. What of K does she remember, what of K can she even cling onto? She didn’t quite know how to comfort him. She looked at the jacket once again. She donned it on, awkwardly shuffling towards K. It stood out of place against the imperial robes. Blue against white. Remnants of black and shimmering against white. She lifted K’s mask. Her own as well. It felt weirdly natural for her… but why so? She didn’t question it at that time. K finally looked up at R. Those minutes he’d spent reliving were suspended. “R… I’m so sorry for my…” “Don’t apologize.” He was taken aback choked in tears. More aching silence. …What? Did she utter those words so naturally? Why was she asking a imperial to not apologize? That should normally be the case, for a higher to apologize to a lower when something went awry. R’s hands hovered over K’s body. She didn’t look at him in the eyes. K did the same, but then looked up. It felt… so familiar to the two of them. He’d remember R constantly reaching out to him in his darkest times. Those same hands that saved him. Those same hands that gave such a gentleness no Imperial ever offered before. Like a former love. K leapt towards R, his hands gripping both the jacket and the robes so tightly. The two embraced each other.

#madeon #good faith #good faith lore #good faith forever #cw: gore #k-character #r-character #fanfic #fanfiction #DE NOVO STORYLINE

1 note · View note

stingslikeabee · 2 years

Note

015. the wine cellar of a large mansion . (consider... for the AU)

setting prompts . accepting

By the time Ryuji’s heavy footfalls reached her, Melissa had already emptied an entire bottle and was halfway there with the second; both of them vintage items from her father’s collection, probably reserved for some shady deal or despicable occasion with his equally asshole partners. The heiress had enough - she couldn’t take it anymore.

As soon as the bodyguard got into her line of sight, she raised her head - they exchanged a long look in silence, and Melissa was able to see the emotions shuffling on his face: concern, relief then understanding with some worry mixed in. Or that was what she thought - the brunette had more wine than she was used to by herself, and on an empty stomach, too.

He didn’t say anything - the Japanese man just moved to sit down with her, making himself comfortable against the same brick wall she had been leaning on. The heiress passed him the bottle, which he accepted but didn’t drink from. Instead, Ryuji placed it on the wooden floor to his left, head craning to look at his charge and examining her with care. His was no clinical, emotionless look - it was accompanied by the touch of hands that were decidedly rough and which had been involved in countless fights, but which were undeniably tender in tilting her head up.

As the bodyguard’s left hand remained under her chin, the right one dried the remaining evidence of the tears that had strayed from her eyes. Melissa found herself smiling at the gesture - and allowed her eyelids to flutter, closing them for a moment. The wine cellar wasn’t a bright room - temperature and lights were controlled to preserve the wine and the other bottles under perfect conditions, and yet she felt as if she was under a sudden spotlight.

The brunette had crawled into the darkest, most secluded room of the Drysdell’s estate, and yet he had located her. Ryuji was almost like some sort of beacon of light, always offering some hope or bringing warmth to wherever she was. He had once claimed to see her as some sort of star, but the woman was beginning to think the analogy incorrect; she was but one among many in a dark sky - Goda Ryuji was the sun.

Seeing him soothed her just like sunrise after a stormy night.

“Yer father has his men searchin’ all over for ya,” he said in a whisper, aware that the room was quiet enough and that they didn’t need to speak in higher volumes, “Think most of ‘em went to the city.”

“I bet they thought I went on a shopping spree,” Melissa said bitterly, shaking her head and opening her eyes again - this time, fresh tears were forming, rolling down her face without any concern on her part, “That’s what a girl is supposed to do, right? Max out her dad’s credit card when she’s upset, like buying new shows would help mend a broken heart.”

“Is that how yer feelin’?” he queried softly, and the heiress knew what he meant; not the allusion of the capitalist tendencies, but her own thoughts on the matter that had prompted her disappearance from the public eye. Her tears were wiped away by Ryuji, and he bent down enough to place a kiss on her forehead - the woman sniffled miserably for a second, but came closer to him, her body an awkward mess of limbs and lacking any customary grace to just hug the bodyguard and proceeding to hide her face into his broad chest.

His hand found a place on the heiress’ back, rubbing soothing circles there - and Melissa knew what he meant: it was fine; she didn’t need to talk if she didn’t want to. But as her hands bunched the fabric of his shirt, translating her distress, the same touch also seemed to encourage her to find the words she had been struggling to enunciate prior to his arrival.

“You heard our fight, didn’t you?” Melissa’s words were hard to understand given how muffled her voice was, but Ryuji didn’t press her to move from her comfort location, still holding her close and doing his best to tranquilize the woman, “I grew up without my mom, Ryuji. She died when I was a child and I don’t remember much of her - I know her mostly from pictures and what some of the old employees said about her. They always told me I looked like her and that I had the same fire in my blood.”

Then she pulled back, face wet with the tears that now also stained his clothes and further ruined her make-up, “I can’t believe he killed her. Drunk accident my ass, Ryuji - he might have as well pulled the trigger himself. He kept the truth all these years from me!” she sounded miserable right then, desperate, “And if it hadn’t been from that letter from my grandmother, I’d have died without knowing it, too. He’s been grooming me... Preparing me like some sort of prize to be handed over, like I’m insurance for something. I’m not his daughter, Ryuji, I’m hedging his next big thing.”

Melissa moved then - her balance was off, but she was determined to be on her knees, hands gently grasping Ryuji’s face. She was no longer crying - she was angry and determined, as well as partially inebriated - but whatever she was speaking of was no spur of the moment thing; the bodyguard knew that much.

“I’m done with this, Ryuji. This empire, his name - I want nothing to do with it,” she nodded fiercely then, “Remember that day, on the road? Where I said I could be a falling star? Let’s do it,” she said, inhaling sharply and moving forward to press a kiss to his lips, urgent and moist given the fallen tears - but neither of them seemed to mind the salty taste that lingered.

“If I run away, I know he’s going to come after me - are you up to it?” she asked seriously, despite the ingested alcohol. She had a degree of protection in her bloodline and title; as much as she behaved like a brat, it was unlikely for Melissa to suffer any real harm; she was valuable for the role she had as the descendant of a crime lord. Ryuji, on the other hand, did not have the same luxury, “I won’t force you, Ryuji-kun. I won’t risk your life,” she said in Japanese at long last, nailing the words despite the strong accent.

He looked surprised - at her choice of language, but not at the overall plan. Chuckling in that deep voice of his, Ryuji nodded - he returned the kiss willingly, mimicking her gestures from earlier and looking her right into her honey-colored eyes then.

“Melissa, I’m no goon of yer father - I’m yours,” he said, smiling at her in a way that restored some hope to the woman; they were going to do something crazy and dangerous, but with her trusted bodyguard... She’d be alright. Much like a runaway princess from an evil king, she would make it to safety with her more than trusted knight at her side. “Wherever you go... I go.”

She hugged him again, murmuring a mantra of thanks against his neck; Ryuji had changed countries and language and survived, so Melissa knew she could pull it off. After all, everything she needed was right there, in her arms.

#kansaisdragon #v: Yakuza ; bodyguard AU #setting prompts #replied #this got long #and angsty #and I have way too elaborated hcs for this verse #but the short story is: running away from evil crime lord to be happy :)

1 note · View note

aminiatureworld · 3 years

Text

Disappearance

Characters: Diluc, Razor, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 4,133

Warnings: Slightly claustrophobic

Premise: The line between small upsets and huge quarrels can be a blurred one, and it’s often difficult to cope with in the aftermath.

In which there is an argument and the reader disappears.

Author’s Note: Thank you for your request anon. I really cannot stay away from angst, and this was right up my alley. Poor characters, how I love to torture you.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to write Razor, he isn’t in my list of characters I’m comfortable with. For one thing I find his broken speech quite difficult to deal with. I can’t tell if I find it irritating or not, or if it’s an example of good characterization or the “savage” stereotype a la Tarzan – sorry Tarzan I don’t like you. But I tried to make the effort and I hope it came out well! Though I still don’t feel quite comfortable with writing him. I hope I handled the dialogue well enough. He makes me think of San from Princess Mononoke.

Diluc

Diluc accelerated his pace as the Winery came into sight, his normally serene face breaking into a small smile.

It was the best time of day, the time when he came home, the time when he could finally see you. The two of you had been a couple for about five months, and though it wasn’t the longest of time, it was certainly the happiest Diluc had been, happier even than when he was a child with a family to call his own. You were his family now after all, something that you reminded him when he was in his darkest moods. You were his family now, and nothing could tear that apart.

“Welcome home.” Your voice was warm with happiness, and you threw your arms around Diluc the moment he came through the door. Diluc reciprocated the embrace and for a moment the two of you simply stood in the landing, the picture of perfect happiness.

“I’ve missed you, beloved.” Diluc whispered.

“I missed you too.” You replied, smiling softly. Your smile slipped however, and was instead replaced with an expression of worry. “You were gone so late tonight, I was unsure if something had happened to you. Really, I was about to go after you.”

“Well I’m glad you didn’t.” Diluc replied, tone firm though not unkind. “We’ve talked about this before my love, if something were to happen to me, which it won’t,” he quickly added, seeing your gaze cloud over, “but if it did I wouldn’t want you to put yourself in danger. I fight for you as much as anyone else in Monstadt, and for you to be injured or worse on my part, I’d never be able to forgive myself.”

“I know we discussed it and came to that conclusion.” Your words were slow, deliberate in tone. “But though I agreed to it then, I found tonight that I regretted it more than anything I might ever do. I cannot bear the idea of you somewhere near, hurt and crying out for help or worse…” you swallowed, unwilling to conjure the image to mind, “…I couldn’t bear thinking that you might be in a bad way and with no chance of rescue simply because I made a foolish promise. And while I was thinking about this all I came to the realization that I could never truly keep that promise. If you’re ever in need I will be there for you, no matter what. No matter what you said, what you think, it is the simple truth.”

“Please don’t do that.” Diluc replied, voice quickly becoming filled with emotion. “If there’s something out there that could hurt me like that, then how –” he paused, realizing his mistake, but you’d already caught it.

“How could I possibly defeat it?” You replied, a grimace replacing your smile. “You cannot treat me like glass Diluc. I’m an adventurer, a warrior in my own right. And I won’t be kept from saving the one I love the most, not when the only thing keeping me from it is his pride and a few words.”

The two of you said nothing more of it that night, but the argument hung in the air the next morning, continuing the awkwardness up until you left for your adventuring duties. Diluc did nothing to breach the gap. He was in the right after all. And besides, it was such a stupid little argument, barely one at that. In a day or two it’d be nothing, and then all would be well again.

This conclusion was sorely tested when you didn’t return to the Winery in the evening. As Diluc prepared himself for another night of patrol he began to worry slightly. Surely you weren’t avoiding him. About something so small? No, most likely you were simply late. You’d be there when he got home. If he was sure of anything he was sure of that.

Unfortunately Diluc was proven quite wrong. The doorway was empty at his arrival, you were nowhere to be found. A sinking feeling began to settle into his stomach, and Diluc found himself quite unable to sleep that night, instead tossing and turning this way and that, wondering if you were truly so angry over something that he’d seen as so small. It was the only logical explanation for your disappearance after all, though Diluc wasn’t sure what to do about it. Chasing after you seemed somewhat uncouth, and besides didn’t that always make things worse? No, he’d give you space, all the space you needed. If a week passed then he’d seek you out, but before then he’d let you be. No point in jeopardizing the relationship anymore than apparently he already had.

His promise to stay away for a week was nearly torn to shreds by the end of the next day. Were you truly so angry with him? How could he have hurt you so much? Diluc didn’t know what to do. During the day he tried to behave as always, keeping tabs on everything he could and busying himself as much as possible. At night, however, the feeling became more and more unbearable, and Diluc found sleep more fleeting than ever.

He kept replaying the argument, over and over again did he try to remember exactly what had happened. Was your tone of voice angrier than he thought? Was your expression darker? Had he been too curt, too dismissive, too demanding? What could’ve possibly caused you to simply disappear? It was unlike you; usually what arguments took place resulted in you trailing him more than anything else. Why was this so different? Turning onto his side once more Diluc closed his eyes. Tomorrow all would be well. Tomorrow you’d come back for sure.

You didn’t come back tomorrow, nor the day after that. Those days were some of the most anxious Diluc had felt since the immediate passing of his father. Work became unbearable, for words that one stood clearly on the page now swam before him, a sea of incomprehensible figures and symbols. Eating and sleeping too were utterly alien to him, and what those two days were mostly comprised of turned out to be him walking about in a stupor, too dazed and too worried to think about anything around him, anything other than you.

On the fourth day a knock came to his door, and with it came Katheryne of the Adventurer’s Guild. Her face was ashen, and she was fiddling with her hands. As Diluc gestured for her to sit down the anxiety that had been sitting in his stomach tangled itself into knots. What in the name of the Seven had happened?

“Master Diluc, we have some information, information involving your partner.”

“Yes?” Diluc’s voice was sharp and low, for he couldn’t bring himself to hide it. Collapsing into the opposite chair he tried to prepare himself for the worst, knowing that if you had left or, Seven forbid, been killed he’d never be able to move on.

“Well you see your partner, they went on an expedition, a commission rather. They were looking for bits of Noctilious Jade and Cor Lapis. Although these minerals are normally found in Liyue only there are a few reservoirs in Monstadt along the border of the two lands, specifically they can be found in certain caves behind the waterfalls that flood into the river. A merchant bought the rights to the land of one of those caves and, being a merchant, he couldn’t get it out himself, so we sent one of our own to mine it out for him, see if it was any good.”

“This is all quite fascinating,” Diluc replied, tone made sharp with worry, “but I can hardly see what this has to do with anything.”

“Your partner was the one selected. They went down to mine it but the entrance was the opening to a sharp drop and they fell down. We only managed to recover them this morning.”

The shock that ran through Diluc was something that he never wished to experience again. It seemed to pierce right through him, into the center of his heart. You’d been trapped. You’d been in need of help, stuck for days in the worst of possible situations, and he’d done nothing but loaf around the Winery. How could he forgive himself for something like that?

“May I see them.” He choked out, his throat constricted and burning.

“They are coming here right now. Thankfully injuries were minimal. Caves connected to water are the most dangerous kind, you can die and it can be impossible to retrieve your corpse. They were incredibly lucky.” And with that gruesome thought in mind Katheryne walked over to the door, opening it to reveal you.

Diluc had never moved so fast in his life. Instantly you were wrapped in his embrace. You returned the gesture just as fiercely, clinging on as if he was the only thing anchoring you, keeping you from collapsing from relief, from fatigue, from the terror that had yet to dissipate.

“Oh my love, oh I’m so sorry, so deeply sorry. Forgive me, forgive me for not being there. Forgive me.” Diluc whispered, practically incoherent. You were both shaking, and when you two collapsed in the chair closest to the fire there were no words for a good many moments. The terror you’d both felt was hardly over, and you both needed to be sure that this wasn’t a dream, that it was all over, and that you were going to be fine now.

“Diluc.” You finally whispered.

“Yes my love.” Diluc replied, a tremor still in his voice. You leaned into him, head perched on his shoulder, breath tickling his neck.

“I never want to quarrel again.”

Diluc reached over to cup your face. Raising your head slightly he leaned over, brushing his lips against yours, indulging in something he thought for a moment he might never be able to do again.

“Neither do I.” He replied, voice just as soft. “And remind me never to try to restrict you again, for if I’d not been such a fool I would’ve run to your side the very evening you were trapped.”

You smiled softly, expression conveying relief and tenderness and most of all love. Leaning in for another kiss you whispered something right before your mouth collided with his.

“I will follow you wherever you go.”

Razor

Sitting at the edge of one of Wolvedom’s many cliffs, eyes trailed towards the far away walls of Monstadt, Razor wondered if he might’ve been too harsh.

It wasn’t that Razor wanted to quarrel with you, I mean you were the first and only person that he’d managed to build a sincere connection with. It was only that he’d grown up with a complete distrust of humans, and as much as he tried to bury that aspect of himself it still came to the forefront at times.

“I don’t understand what you’re so angry about Razor?” You’d exclaimed, face twisting into an expression of annoyance.

“Why do you like them?” Razor had replied, gesturing towards the people who had arrived with you, trampling their way through the forest as if everything belonged to them simply because they were human. He could practical smell the arrogance wafting off them, and it made his hair stand on edge. It was frustrating that he didn’t have the words to convey that to you.

“My guild members?” You’d said, glancing over your shoulder. “Razor I work with them. We’re going on a trip.”

“I want them to leave.” He’d practically growled, moving to take your hand in his. “I want them to leave, I want you to stay.”

“Well you can’t do that Razor.” You’d said, tone growing more and more exasperated. “And I don’t understand why you’re so hostile to them.”

“They’re human.” To Razor this was enough, but evidently the answer was hardly satisfactory to you.

“I’m human.” You’d pointed out, raising an eyebrow. Razor shook his head.

“You’re different.”

“No, I’m not. You just like me. And like it or not I’m a human, and a human who has a job to do. I can’t stay here, and I can’t stop talking to all other humans.

“Why not?” He’d shot back. “It would be better. Humans are bad creatures.”

“You keep forgetting who I am!” You’d exclaimed, shaking your head. “Whatever, I’m not arguing this with you. I’ll see you in a day. I hope that you can think about my feelings by the time this is over.”

Well the day had come and gone and there was no sight of you. Razor was too angry though to feel much remorse, no matter how much he missed you. You were probably busy anyways, talking to other humans, fraternizing with the enemy. For what else could humans possibly be? They cut down trees, killed the inhabitants of the forests. Even the wolves weren’t safe, for what farmer hadn’t taken a shot at one of them at some point in his life? No, Razor was not the one in the wrong. You were just too used to them. You couldn’t see it.

Still your absence sat wrong with him, and he found himself scouring the edges of Wolvendom the next day, trying to figure out what had happened. It wasn’t as if you didn’t know what he thought after all. And surely you wouldn’t abandon him so quickly, surely.

Razor was hardly so sure when the sun went down the next night. It seemed you were well and truly gone, though where he couldn’t tell. Maybe you really had decided to abandon him, decided he was too much of a burden, decided you preferred humans anyways. The thought ate at him, and he found himself walking around with a bitter taste in his mouth, unsure what to do.

Razor wasn’t sure what finally caused him to cross out of Wolvendom to look for you. Perhaps it was anger, perhaps it was guilt, perhaps it was that he at least wanted to say goodbye. No matter the cause however he still found himself walking on an unfamiliar path, as the woods shifted to plains. He felt vulnerable, uncomfortable without his familiar family. But it was too late to turn back now, and so he pressed ahead.

All sense of discomfort faded away upon running into you. You looked the worse for wear, covered in dirt, your clothes ragged. For a moment Razor wondered what could’ve possibly caused this. Perhaps there was a creature out there he was not aware of. Running up to you he wrapped his arms around you.

“You’re hurt.” It was more of a question than a statement, and you seemed to understand that. Returning the hug you sighed slightly.

“I was stuck in one of the shallow caves off of the Stormbearer Mountains. The passage we went through started crumbling, and I was the last one in line. It took some time to dig me out.” You laughed slightly, but there was a tremor in your voice, and you seemed ill at ease. “It was so dark in there Razor, so utterly dark. I couldn’t imagine being a creature down there, it all seemed to weigh down on me, and I thought it’d collapse and bury me at any second.”

Razor had tightened his embrace, the image seared into his mind. There was a visceral fear in his reaction, the fear of what you’d just described, but it was more complicated than that. To be down there himself was terrifying, but for you to be in that situation, and for so long, it stole the air from his lungs and weighed him down with such a sense of dread he could barely stand it.

“Humans sent you down there?” The tone of his voice was seething, but your reply was much calmer than it had been before.

“Yes. They did. But they also saved me Razor, you must remember that.”

It was something he hadn’t considered, and as he pulled away to look you in the face he pondered the implications. What he’d said was true, yes, but what you’d said was also true. They could’ve quite easily left you if they wanted, could’ve left you for dead and said there was nothing to do about it. Certainly some humans would’ve done just that, but they didn’t. Instead they helped you, for days they had dug, and thanks to that you were safe.

“I was wrong.” He said, tone straight, for it was a fact. He was wrong, at least about your people he was wrong.

“There are many evil people out there.” You said, expression pensive. “There are those who kill and rob and lie and think only about themselves. There are those who cannot see the world around them. But you can’t judge all of humanity by that. There are also those who care for every aspect of the world they can, who burden themselves with all the misfortune they see, so much it might break them. Humans are complicated Razor. So yes you were wrong, but I cannot say you were completely so.”

Razor said nothing, absorbing what you’d said. It was hard not think in black and white, something necessary sometimes for survival. But ever since you’d entered his life he wanted to try to understand you, even a little bit. And, especially after today, he’d do anything to make that effort a reality.

For though he understood little of humans and their ways he knew of one thing for sure. And that was the love he carried for you.

Xiao

Looking back it was such a stupid argument. Of course all arguments seemed idiotic looking back after what happened. But if all arguments were stupid, then surely Xiao couldn’t’ve picked a stupider one to have.

“I wish you’d see me off at the bridge.” You remarked, strapping the last of your equipment into place. You were off to do another commission, something about recording a rare species of lizard and taking photographs of some rare luminous mosses, and once again the topic of goodbyes had come up.

“I’m saying goodbye now aren’t I?” Xiao tone was as brusque as ever, but this time you didn’t brush it off with your usual smile.

“I mean it Xiao.” You said instead, turning to look him straight in the face. “I know you don’t fraternize with people, I know that you consider it a result of the burdens you carry. I know that and I don’t ask you to go and set up shop in Liyue or some such thing. I do ask you though to simply be there when I leave the city. It would mean a lot to me to have you there when I step out into the wilderness, especially when I’m going to be gone for two days. Can’t you do this for me, at least this?” You searched his eyes, expression pleading, but Xiao simply scoffed and turned his head.

“Saying goodbye here should be enough. Besides, there aren’t any people here. Would you really want me to say goodbye surrounded by prying eyes?”

“No one is going to pry.” You pointed out, voice flat with annoyance. “And to answer your question, yes, yes I would like you to be there to say goodbye. I love you dearly Xiao, more than I have ever loved anyone, more than I ever will. But I cannot love you unequally. I don’t ask for much, but I am asking for this. Please say goodbye to me at the bridge.”

But Xiao merely scowled, shaking his head violently. Huffing you turned around, everything set and ready to go.

“Sometimes I don’t know why I put myself through this.” You muttered; stomping your feet ever so slightly, and slamming the door to the room behind you.

Xiao’s sense of time was usually quite poor. To adepti days were more like minutes, and even months seemed as abundant as grains of sand. One of the things that had most surprised him about starting a relationship with you was how his sense of time was affected by it. The days with you were mere moments, and the days where you were gone dragged on and on, minutes replaced by endless boredom.

This time was no different, instead the feeling was exacerbated. Although the first two days were a blur, made meaningless by Xiao’s irritation over your final conversation, the moment the third day dawned and you were nowhere to be found time ground to a halt, and Xiao no longer became sure of what day it was, sure that a month must’ve passed instead of a few hours. You must’ve been more irritated than he’d thought.

Still the adeptus was full of pride, pride and principles. If you were staying away over something so petty so be it. He’d not be the one going after you, not when he was utterly within his rights. Why should he changed so over the request of a human? No matter how much he loved you a part of him chafed at the idea, and thus he did nothing, instead sulking the days away under the concerned eyes of Verr Goldet.

If he was filled with pride though, there was also anxiety. Day three came and went, then day four, then day five. When day six arrived Xiao’s will seemed to give up, and he spent his hours in a restless sleep, something highly unusual for the adeptus labelled the “Vigilant Yaksha”. It was if you had taken all his strength away, and what remained was nothing but anxiety and his quickly shattering anger. Surely nothing was worth this feeling of being eaten away by poison. Surely.

Night had fallen, and the moon had taken her silent vigil over the land. Xiao knew that he should get up, knew he should go after you. But it was as if he was chained to the mattress. His head was filled with static and he felt as if he were burning up. A headache had come on the moment he’d opened his eyes, and now he found he could do nothing but lay with his thoughts, each becoming darker by the moment.

He recognized the weight of your footsteps as soon as they came into earshot. Bolting up, all fatigue leaving him, he slammed open the door, taking the stairs two at a time until he finally came face to face with you.

If he was expecting something, it certainly wasn’t this. Though there was a smile on your face it was marred by the bandage on your forehead, and by the long gash on your arm.

“What happened?” The words came out in a rasp. “Who did this to you?” The weight had come back, and Xiao swayed slightly, feeling altogether faint, the range of emotions he was experiencing becoming overwhelming.

You pressed your hand to his chest, the other moving to cup his cheek. “No one did this to me.” You said, voice slightly hoarse. “One of the caves I was in collapsed, and I fell and hit my head while running away from the entrance. Thankfully it was nothing serious, and it only took them three days to get me out.”

Three days. The situation seemed torturous. Xiao was a creature of air, the mere idea of being beneath the earth was claustrophobic to him. It was to humans too, that he knew, knew from what he’d heard from Rex Lapis. The idea of you trapped underground, injured and unable to escape, it shook him to his very core.

Taking your hand in his he kissed your palm, silently thanking Rex Lapis and all the other archons for letting you come home. The situation, what you’d gone through, it was all crashing down on him. You were the most precious thing in the world, the one he loved most, the only person he would truly love, in all his years on this earth it would forever be that way. How could he take you for granted? Take your needs for granted?

“I’ll never fight with you again.” He whispered.

“I don’t know about that.” You said, smiling slightly despite it all. “Fights are hardly unheard of after all.”

“I won’t. Not about something so stupid. Not when…” he trained off for a moment, eyes clouding over. “… Anyways I won’t do it.”

“Does that mean you’ll say farewell at the bridge?” You asked, tone hopeful.

“I will.” Xiao promised. “I’ll do anything for you. For you are that which I love the most.” And leaning over to kiss you Xiao made a silent vow that he’d never let you go through anything like that. Never again.

#I never know the right time to post these #diluc #razor #xiao #diluc x reader #razor x reader #xiao x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #requested #scenarios #my writing

861 notes · View notes

lonely-lost-soul · 3 years

Text

Where Loyalties Lie

(Technoblade X reader)

Request 3: Can we get a little angsty fic or headcanon of Techno trying to get the reader to leave L’manberg?

Requested By: Anonymous

~~~

“Tubbo please take a deep breath,” You followed him around the rubble as he paced restlessly.

“I’m president of a crater (Y/n)!” The boy pulled on his ears with a loud whine, “What am I gonna do. I can’t believe Wilbur blew it up-” He felt your hands touch his own and gently pull them away from his oversensitive goat ears. “What am I gonna do? I-I’m a kid…” You frowned, moving to cup his cheek with your hand. He nuzzled into it desperately, welcoming the comforting touch of someone who he considered family.

“You’re going to get through it because you’re strong.” You told him, “and so brave little ram.” He flushed pink letting out a whine of protest especially because he was still surrounded by most of his friends.

You watch as Quackity walked over to the both of you and placed his hand on Tubbo’s shoulder squeezing it, “We’ll rebuild. We’ll be right behind you Tubbo.” He smiled at the kid and you couldn’t help but smile over at him.

“Thank you both. Truly.”

There was one thing that had you were worried you may come to regret, and that was not taking Technoblade’s hand as he fled from the country. You were close almost touching it, he looked like he wanted to beg for you too but one desperate cry from Tubbo had you pulling away. He looked heartbroken but at the same time, you saw understanding in his deep red eyes.

Family came first.

That day he pulled you close pressing a soft kiss on your forehead, “I’ll be back for you.”

You murmured a soft I’m sorry, turning to find Tubbo to make sure he wasn’t injured or dying. The thoughts of the festival replaying in your head, you couldn’t go through that...not again especially because now Tubbo was officially on his last life. Tommy couldn’t fathom how you didn’t blame Technoblade for what happened that day, but to you, two things were clear: one was that Tubbo didn’t blame him which made it easier on your end to forgive him; two Schlatt was manipulative and overwhelming as fuck you can’t blame someone for something they were peer pressured into doing. Speaking of Tommy you ended up finding Tubbo and him in the rubble that day, the taller male was pressing cloth to Tubbo’s bleeding arm desperately, when you took over and Tommy seemed grateful.

However, you had to push your possible regrets aside and focus on the new nation you’d help build, and build it you did. You worked endlessly for months on end creating a lovely new nation for people to live in, Tubbo had dubbed it New L’manburg. You felt his pride and happiness, he just loved seeing everyone together again and happy once again. Finally, the server felt somewhat normal after all that destruction, even if there was a Techno-shaped hole in your heart. Things changed rather quickly when Tubbo was, in your eyes, manipulated to exile Tommy by Dream. You had tried to argue for the boy saying that not only was he Tubbo’s friend but just a kid. You were shut down harshly by not only Dream but Tubbo as well, the look in his eyes was filled with so much loathing and frustration. It’s the first time he ever snapped and was harsh to you, you felt your own frustration bubble up in your chest. You turned on your heel and marched back up into your house, you were not going to put up with this behavior. When you slammed the door shut, and turned around to find Technoblade standing in your living room, with your cat purring fondly on his shoulders; you almost screamed.

“Heh- why are you scared it’s just me?” The hybrid complained his nose scrunching up, “Don’t be cringe- oof-” Techno grunted as you threw your arms around his waist, the man flushed to the tips of his ears and looked away from you, Taffy hopped off his shoulders disgruntledly, “Yeah, yeah, I missed you too.” He pet the top of your head tenderly and you looked up at him with a smile.

“What’re you doing here Tech? If Tubbo finds out he’ll have your head.”

“Then I guess we’ll just have to make sure he doesn’t find me then huh?” He mused lips, quirking into a smile, and you nodded in agreement. “Other than that just running some errands. I’m in retirement now you know. I have to say that ‘New L’Manburg’ is certainly a name.” He did air quotes around the name and you nudged him,

“Be nice.”

“Boo Cringe. I’m a Blood God starlight. I don’t do nice.”

“Bullshit,” You punched him in the arm, “Tea?”

“Please.” He cracked a smile as you walked over to your tea kettle heating the water and grabbing some tea bags.

“So, you came here to run some errands huh? I almost thought you missed me?” Technoblade shuffled a little behind you, how could you read him so perfectly? It was complete and utter bullshit. You heard him click his tongue distastefully behind you and you couldn’t help but smirk cheekily,

“Get off my back woman.” He stated gruffly as you laughed, “but I guess I do miss you a little bit.” You smiled fondly and softly cooed at him and he let out another scoff,

“A little bit?”

“What is this interrogation? You a cop now?” You placed his tea in front of him and he took a sip,

“Yeah, we’re gonna need to do a strip search. Drop your pants.” Technoblade choked on his drink, face turning the darkest shade of red you’ve ever seen from him. You howled with laughter sliding down in your seat beside the man.

“I changed my mind. I didn’t miss you at all, you’re a terror.”

“You love me, admit it.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He murmured looking at you with a sudden softness that was out of character for him. You didn’t notice the change but it was there, oh if only you knew how much of what you said was true. He did love you. He ran his tongue across his teeth and reached out to interlock your hands within his own.

“Come live with me.”

“Tech…”

“I’m in retirement now. I’m going to get some turtles hopefully, maybe some other pets while I’m at it. There’s a lot of room...It gets lonely all alone you know. It’d be nice to have you there with me.” He watched hesitance flicker across your face again just like the day Wilbur blew up L’Manburg. Your thoughts went to Tubbo and how much he needed you, especially now that Tommy was exiled. However, you were also brought back to a few moments ago where Tubbo snapped at you for trying to help. You took a ragged breath and pushed his hand away, he frowned sadly bringing his hand back down to his lap.

“I need to be here for Tubbo. He’s a kid Tech...way over his head. Dreams sniffing around him like a dog looking for his next victim to manipulate. I can’t let that happen, not to him. I know he’s President of this nation and you hate him for that, but he’s my brother and I love him. He’s a tough kid with a lot of fire, but I can’t just leave him in the dust. I love you,” You reached up and cupped his cheek and Technoblade felt his cheeks burn at the implication, “but I can’t leave until Tubbo is safe.”

“I’ll convince you one day.” Technoblade shot back even though his heart ached, that you wouldn’t be coming home with him. But Technoblade wasn’t known for giving up. He was stubborn as hell, he’d win you over yet. You’d come home with him, he’d confess to you and he’d make you the happiest person in the world. You just...didn’t know it yet.

“I’m excited for the day you do Tech.” You snickered softly, you both were startled by harsh knocking on the door.

“That’s my cue. See you soon Starlight,” Technoblade hummed slipping right out the window, you watched him go longingly. You shuffled towards the door and opened it slowly, on the front steps stood Tubbo who was rocking nervously on his feet.

“Hi…”

“Hey LR...you okay?” Tilting your head to the side,

“Is LR supposed to stand for little ram?”

“Problem?”

“No…I suppose not.” He murmured before clearing his throat and straightening his back, “I wanted to talk with you.”

“Oh?” You raised an eyebrow watching him nod his head sternly, you walked outside and closed the door behind you so you could lean on it. “Shoot,”

You watched as Tubbo swallowed thickly, “First off I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. It wasn’t fair of me to snap.” He watched you nod a little urging him to continue, “however, I am the President now and you have to respect my authority.” Eyebrows furrowing together in frustration you opened your mouth to counter him but he held up his hand, “Dream has an idea of how to rule. He can steer me in a better direction-”

“Pardon me?” You let out a disbelieving laugh, “A better direction? Tubbo, are you forgetting everything we all fought for, we fought him for independence. He killed us!”

“He might’ve changed!”

“He exiled Tommy!”

“He deserved it!” Tubbo shouted back as your nose scrunched up, “He’ll steer me in a direction that you never could!” He snapped before realizing what he said, he slapped his hands over his mouth eyes widening to the size of saucers. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that-”

“Go home Tubbo.”

“(Y/n) please,” He reached out towards you and you held up your hand,

“Go reset the day. You need rest,” You frowned, turning back into the house “see you tomorrow.” Inside the house you shut the door on him and slid down onto the floor, you brought your hands to your mouth and swallowed thickly. A part of you wished Technoblade was still here just so he could tell you to get over yourself, he wasn’t skilled in the art of comforting others, but he could make you laugh. To keep yourself sane you reminded yourself that Tubbo was a child and needed you now more than ever, especially if he thought Dream was dishing out good advice. But you were hurt and a selfish part of you wished you could just go live in retirement with Technoblade and not worry about the new country forming, but you couldn’t ditch Tubbo.

Running a hand through your hair you sighed loudly, one might wonder what exactly could Tubbo do to make you listen to Technoblade’s offer. Honestly, you had no idea if anything would make you do that unless of course they just started executing people or something ridiculous like that.

Restless was how you’d describe the rest of your night, you tried to sleep but after a few hours of tossing and turning you gave up. You decided to make yourself a ‘healthy’ midnight snack, a small bowl of mac & cheese, you didn’t care, you were sad. You sighed softly scratching behind your cat’s ears, “It’s just you and me against the world Taffy isn’t it?” Her purrs rang in the air as she snuggled against your hand, distracting you just enough to swipe a noddle from your bowl. “You fat bitch!” You hissed as she ran off back up the stairs, you leaned back in your chair and sighed, literally nothing was going your way today. Just as you finished up your snack you heard a soft ping upon your window, turning to the sound you noticed your neighbor Phil awake in his house. He held up a hand and waved at you through it, and with a small smile, you waved back. He shuffled back into his home, I guess you both were insomniacs together, Techno knew how to pick a certain type of friend it seemed.

You walked back up to your bedroom and slid under the covers once more, maybe you were wrong and things were going to get better.

Months went by and nothing seemed to change much to your disappointment. Tubbo and you were still a little rocky, you had forgiven him for his harsh words but he always put Dream’s and even Quackity’s opinion before your own. When you came back from visiting Niki one day and saw wanted posters of Technoblade all around the country you almost had a stroke. You confronted Tubbo about it and only half answered you before running off when Quackity called him. That worried you, he normally didn’t like lying, especially not to you.

The same day you were walking into the market to get some fresh fruit when a hand shot out from the wanted poster and pulled you behind it. You were held flush against someone’s chest who chuckled gruffly, you recognized that chuckle anywhere. “Techno! What’re you doing here?” You asked looking up at him with eyes filled with concern, “don’t you know you’re a wanted man?”

“I think that just makes this all the more exciting.” Techno mused running his fingers through your hair, “Plus it’s not like anyone here can catch me.”

“Wrong I could catch you.” He dared to laugh in your face,

“Sure you could, and I’m half sheep.” Technoblade mused and he watched you huff cutely, “Don’t get all huffy at me you know I’m right.” You only waved him off, “seriously though I’m here to do some trading with Phil.”

“Oh…” You gave a nod, “Will I see you more frequently then?”

“You could see me all the time if you moved in with me.” Techno joked again and was surprised to see your face fall a little. Are you serious? Was he getting you to crack? “Starlight?”

“Ask me again in a few months and I might say yes,” You teased brushing the question off swiftly, Technoblade didn’t pry but he could tell you were almost convinced. Just what was going on in this country to make you want to leave your little brother? “Now shoo, go see Phil before he gives up on you.” You gave him a little shove and he stumbled off with a huff sticking his tongue out at you in the process.

After that encounter, you didn’t run into Technoblade for another very long stretch of time. About a month or so after that encounter, Tubbo had shown up at your doorstep a complete nervous wreck. He begged you to help him, claiming he needed diamonds for an upcoming project and wanted you to acquire them for him. “Tubbo I don’t understand why I need to go on this trip? I have diamonds I can just give you. You know I don’t care.”

“But I feel bad about it,” Tubbo argued with you “please just do this for me.”

“You know I’ll do anything for you. If you want me to get them this way I’ll do it. I should be back tonight is that okay? Do you need them sooner?” Tubbo looked relieved as he took your hands in his own,

“No tonight is perfect!” The boy chirped sounding more like himself than he has in months, you couldn’t help but smile. You ruffled his hair a little before kissing his forehead,

“Then tonight you shall have them, Little Ram.”

Tubbo helped you gather the materials you needed for a trip down into the mines, Tubbo even gave you some fire resistance potions. You thanked him for the potions before putting on your armor and heading down into the tunnels. As you were down in the mine the concept of time was always an illusion, so when you finally found diamonds for Tubbo and you left the cave you were surprised to see the sun was just setting. You hummed softly to yourself walking back into New L’manburg excited to show off to Tubbo you couldn’t help but wonder what he needed them for in the first place. However, when you entered town you were greeted by a gathering going on at the center. Everyone seemed to be there clad in what looked to be butcher’s outfits, your vibe was immediately thrown off eyebrows furrowing in concern. Quackity was giving some sort of speech and that finally drew your eyes towards the podium, locked inside a cage was a fuming Technoblade. You rushed towards the group, pushing past Ghostbur and a blue sheep, and grabbed tightly onto Tubbo’s arm.

“Tubbo what the fuck is happening?” He tensed turning towards your face. It was no secret that you and Techno were friends, this wasn’t good at all.

“(Y/n)! You’re back early!” He spoke nervously rubbing his hands together as Quackity turned towards you,

“Welcome back!” Quackity hopped off the podium with a smirk, “Fundy grab them.”

“Quackity hey wait a minute-” Tubbo started as Fundy roughly grabbed onto your arms pinning you in place,

“Ow hey! Watch it! Let go of me!”

“Get your hands off them!” Technoblade snarled nostrils flaring grabbing the bars of the cage tightly.

“Quackity you said we’d leave them out of this!” Tubbo argued and your jaw dropped staring at Tubbo, “You promised!”

He waved Tubbo off with a scoff, “they’re just as bad as Phil, Tubbo. She needs to be punished. We can't play favorites when trying to run a country. We’ll execute Techno then deal with the other traitors.”

“Execute?” You choked, “you can’t be serious! Tubbo you cannot be serious, since when are you okay with public executions?” He refused to look at you, his hair covering his eyes, he only nodded his head in Quackity’s direction.

“Do it.”

“Tubbo!” You shrieked watching Quackity grin maliciously, moving over to pull the lever that would allow the anvil to fall and crush the man below it.

What happened next was a cluster fuck, someone began trying to set off TNT, and Quackity pulled the lever. It fell rapidly towards Techno and he pulled something out of his pocket, in a flash of bright colors and bursts of light Technoblade was ripped apart and pulled back together again. He was alive, Technoblade really doesn’t ever die. He hopped on top of the anvil and jumped the bars of the cage, Fundy had long since lost his grip on you, he noticed Dream ushering him inside a cavern and he paused a moment. The hybrid turned towards you holding out his hand one final time, the world seemed to stop a moment and it was just you and him. His face held a desperate look in it, almost pleading you to take his hand within your own. You flashed back to the day Wilbur blew the country up, Tubbo called your name you glanced over your shoulder once towards Little Ram. You reached into your bag and dropped the diamonds you found for him on the ground, you grabbed Technoblade’s hand and squeezed it tightly. Technoblade smiled and yanked you forward, leaving a heartbroken Tubbo in your wake.

898 notes · View notes

historicfailure · 2 years

Note

Can I ask you something? What if pregnant reader who is single after someone break up with her and few days later she met Yamato and spend time together? Will Yamato and pregnant reader have feelings for each other? Will Yamato be good stepfather to her child? I don’t mind what gender is. I don’t mind if you add nsfw

Hey there, Anon! Your question got a bit out of hand, and I think I went a bit off course, but I still think it's a nice scenario you picked there ;D

~ X ~

after the break-up, the reader is obviously pretty down. It only gets worse when they find out they are pregnant

Being a single parent? How are they going to support themselves, not even talking about a baby? Especially when they’re highly pregnant, they can’t go on missions or work in their field as a shinobi.

Reaching out to their ex doesn’t work out. When they go and ring at their ex’s door, no ones opening, their shared friends won’t say anything, and only slowly, the reader realizes that the ex fled from Konohagakure.

They meet Yamato when they are at their darkest moment. Sitting in a park on a wooden bench, staring into the air and trying to figure out what they are supposed to do now?

Yamato notices the reader because they reek of despair. He isn’t sure if he can or should help them, but when a tear rolls down their face without them even making a single sound or blinking, he panics.

Oh god. They are crying. They are crying. Fuck, what do I do?

I picture Yamato as someone who is really weak to tears, to the point he always carries some handkerchiefs with him, just in case. A last line of defense against the evil water works ;D

He carefully inches closer, fingers fiddling with the small package

“Excuse me? Uhm, sorry to interrupt. I just… here are some handkerchiefs…”

The reader takes the handkerchiefs with a small nod. More tears roll down, coming faster and faster, only for the first sob to finally break free.

Yamato panics even more. Looking around, he automatically checks if there’s some kind of friend or family for the reader around, but no one is nearby

Then, still ready to bolt any second, he slowly sinks onto the bench. Though, with a heavily weeping person beside him, Yamato feels really out of this depth and like he shouldn’t be there.

Their sobs and tears flow quickly and heavily. There doesn’t seem to be an end in sight and at some point, Yamato just pats their shoulder. A little gentle pant, nothing more.

Reader instantly gasps out and looks at him for the first time.

“Oh god.” Still with tears running down their face, they scramble up to their feet. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize… Fuck, I’m… I’m just a mess. Sorry for that.”

“No worries.” The answer comes so quickly Yamato isn’t even aware he opened his mouth.

Through swollen eyes and the curtain of tears, the reader tries to make out who helped them. When they recognize the shinobi uniform, they are startled. A shinobi helping them? Comforting them in such an awkward yet sweet way?

They can’t believe it. “Did you… did you give me the handkerchiefs?”

“Yeah.” Yamato nods. “I, uhm… sorry for that, but I also patted your shoulder…? Sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

“No.” The reader shakes their head. “No, it wasn’t… Thank you. I… I really appreciate that.”

“I… I don’t mean to intrude, but… In my opinion, everything can get better.” Yamato knows he’s clumsy with words, but right then and there he doesn’t care. Later on, he will not be able to sleep and cringe so hard

The first meeting is quickly over. There’s nothing connecting them but the few minutes and the gifted pack of handkerchiefs.

After that meeting, the reader picks themselves up. Sure, they probably will be a single parent, but there are lots of mechanisms in place to help shinobi like them. They just have to apply to some programs.

The next meeting happens at the mission desk. Given the circumstances, the reader has to put in a report and figure out a solution with the higher-ups and medics. There, they meet Yamato again, who just comes back from a mission with Team 7. He is still dirty and worn-out, but the report is freshly written, with all the important details added.

He spots the reader instantly when he enters. They are discussing with a desk shinobi on the side, calmly murmuring and mumbling.

When the reader spots Yamato though, they make a bee line for him.

“You.” Despite the stern approach, they smile at him. “Thanks for the other time.”

“No problem.” Yamato is a bit overwhelmed. His hand with the report trembles faintly, but he simply hides that tremble by switching hands and reaching out. “We didn’t get to introduce ourselves last time, I believe. My name is Yamato.”

“(Y/N).” They smile, and even though there’s a seed of sadness in said smile, Yamato feels his heart jump a bit.

From there on out, they meet more regularly, on a friendly basis. At first, they meet randomly, then the meetings become intentional and planned.

Both Yamato and the reader slowly become enamored with each other, and when the reader confesses that they are pregnant, he is a bit flabbergasted at first

but it’s not a problem for him. He asks a bit about the father, and notices how they tense up at the matter, so he drops it. He gives the reader space, which they are grateful for.

The day they go into labor, their relationship is in this strange state in between friends and lovers. They know they have feelings for each other, but neither of them admits it. It just lingers, but it breaks through when the tension is high.

The reader wants Yamato with them during labor, and so he finds himself holding hands with them and trying to calm them down when the pain becomes too much.

It’s an intense, stressful day, but Yamato wouldn’t want to miss it. In a sense, because he helped the reader during the pregnancy, he feels responsible. He doesn’t recognize his feelings towards the unborn child as what they are, but he will realize… after some time ;D

during the birth, he can’t look at what goes on between the reader’s legs, but focuses on their face instead. He whispers encouragement into their ears, holds their hand and even offers some cuddles without even realizing that it isn’t really appropriate for them

only when the baby is out and the nurse offers him the scissors to cut the cord, Yamato realizes how they both look like. He looks at the reader, who is definitely a bit out of it, all sweaty and exhausted and beat, but a strange, airy smile is splayed across their face.

“Do it,” they say, “I would be happy if you did.”

And so, Yamato cuts the cord. Holding the child for the first time though goes to the reader, he wouldn’t want to take that away from them.

After that, they quickly become close. Their relationship establishes itself, with casual intimacy, holding hands and helping each other, especially with the child. Yamato would lie if he would deny that he didn’t read a few books about childcare exactly for those moments.

Yamato would be a lovely (step) father for the child. He would be nervous and confused, definitely out of his depth, but he would always try his best. Soon enough, he loves the child like he never did anything else, and is completely wrapped around its small chubby fingers. He would do anything for the child and for the reader as well, of course ;D

~ X ~

as you can see, I really went overboard. Two pages of headcanons for this T^T9

Though, I hope you like these, dear Anon! And sorry it took me so long :((

96 notes · View notes

m-jelly · 2 years

Note

Hey! Ok hear me out. Can I request one where you’re a character in a book in his world the same way he is in this world and he just somehow appears in this world (you can decide how) and they fall for each other but it clearly can’t end well cause he has to go back…lots of angst and lots of fluff!

Oooh, we're going to sad times. Okay, I can do sad times. I might leave this one open ended too so ya'll can decide the fate of Levi and Reader, because I can hahahaha But seriously though, I'll see what I can do and I hope I do your idea justice!

Levi walked through HQ with his heart heavy from the experdition. He was done with it all and didn't think he could possibly take anymore loss. He was hurting inside, but he couldn't let it out, he didn't have anyone to let it out with. He felt alone, even though he was surrounded by so many people.

He stumbled into his room and felt the coldness of it all. He debated about going to bed, but opted out because he felt like nightmares were going to plague him. He sighed, then dragged his feet against the cold floor to his sofa near his desk. He pulled his jacket off and winced at his aching joints. He folded the jacket, then placed it down. He looked down and undid his harnesses and let out a sigh of relief when he took off the top half.

Levi closed his eyes and held back anger when someone knocked. "Tch, what!?" He looked to his door to see Erwin peak in. "Erwin."

Erwin walked inside Levi's office and looked around. "You seemed bothered."

Levi hummed in response and made his way to his desk. "I'm fine."

Erwin nodded, then dropped a book on Levi's desk. "You might tell me where to shove it, but I brought you this book." He tapped it with his finger. "It brought me comfort in my darkest times and now I'm gifting it to you."

Levi picked it up. "Tch, the fuck is it about?"

Erwin smiled. "A sweet woman and her troubles in life. She's trying so desperately to find a reason for her life. Life fucks her over again and again even though she is the sweetest person. She's a bit of a nerd and loves a book in the story."

Levi tossed the book on his desk. "I'm not reading some shitty sad story."

Erwin nodded and understood where Levi was coming from. "It's sad, yes, but it gets better. She might not get the guy, but she realises she didn't need him. It'll help teach you how to open up more and to understand that you're not alone." Erwin turned and walked to the door. "Give it a chance."

Levi watched his friend leave, then his gaze slowly lowered to the book on the table with your name on it as the title. He picked the book up and flicked through the pages a little. "Tch, fuck it. I've not nothing better to do." He opened the book and started reading about you and your life. He was hooked right away from the first page and found himself enthralled by the story. "Interesting."

Hours went by as he kept reading and never stopped. He would pass out and sleep for a moment, then he'd wake up and work. Once he was done with work, he was back to the book about you. He felt everything getting better for himself. The world around him wasn't so horrid. His nightmares started going because his dreams were filled with you. He was so fixated on you, that when he went shopping in the town, he'd buy any products that could possibly smell like how you were described in the book.

Levi read your book over and over and felt himself falling for you, but he knew you weren't real. Levi longed for you to appear in front of him and wrap him up in your loving embrace, but you didn't. He wanted to hear your voice, but there was no sound from you. Levi wished hard that he could meet you, see you, love you, but he never could. He wanted to reach inside the book and stop all the bad things from happening, but he couldn't.

His wish to have you was thought and so much, that it happened. He got frustrated with the book, then threw it across his office. He let out a long sigh, then apologised to you. He walked over, then bent down and grabbed the book. As soon as Levi grabbed the book, he felt a jolt of electricity go through him. He shot up to his feet and heard a ripping behind him. He turned around and froze when he saw a room he didn't know. He looked around and that's when he saw you. You were sat in your window with a book in had and your bare foot swing back and forth.

Levi didn't think twice about what to do. He walked right through the light and into your apartment. He gasped as you were humming such a lovely song. He murmured your name making you stop humming and freeze. "Is it really you?"

You looked over to Levi slowly and felt a shiver run through you. You looked down at your manga, then back to Levi. "Levi?"

Levi nodded. "Y-yes. Tch, how the fuck do you know me?"

You stood up and walked closer. "It's impossible. You..." You showed him the manga. "I was just reading about you!"

Levi held up his book with your name on. "I was just reading about you."

You gazed at the book and looked more beautiful to Levi then he'd picture you in his head. "I'm a book in your world?" You walked right up to him so he could inhale your scent and felt at peace. "That's just." You frowned. "I'm not interesting enough to be a book."

Levi gripped the book hard and said your name. "Tch, you are to me."

You locked eyes with Levi and felt yourself heating up. "I ah...thank you." You gulped hard. "I should make some tea, huh? We have a lot to talk about."

Levi watched you like a hawk as you went to your kitchen. "Your home is so..."

You flicked the kettle on. "I guess it's very different from your world, huh? You're all so stuck in the past."

Levi walked over to you and peered into your face. "Are you really here? Are you really real?"

You poked your cheek. "Think so." You jumped when Levi poked your other cheek. "Ah."

Levi smiled making your heart swell. "You really are real."

You smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I am. So are you." You gasped when Levi yanked you into a hug. "Wow. I never thought Captain Levi would hug me."

Levi squeezed you. "I've been wanting to do that for months."

You smiled and hugged him back. "Me too."

Levi stayed with you for a while. You taught him about your world and the fun things that you could do. He lived with you and cared for you just like he dreamed of doing. You cared for Levi right back just as you've always wanted. You embraced each other and explored the strong bond and love between you both. You made love to each other often and held each other always. However, you slowly started to get sad and Levi noticed. He did everything he could to make you happy and it worked, but it was only temporary. You'd been sad for a week and Levi wanted to fix it. Levi went to confront you one day and found you sat in the window you were in when he first arrived with a book in hand.

Levi walked over to you and called your name. "What's wrong my love?"

You rubbed your tears and looked up at him. "Levi. I love you."

He kissed your forehead and hummed. "I love you too."

You showed him the book he brought with him. "But our time is up."

Levi knelt in front of you. "No, no it's not. I don't want to leave you."

You smiled sadly at him. "I know and I don't want you to go, but your friends need you. Your world needs you. You are the strongest of them all. In this world, this life there is nothing for you here but me. You need to go back. You know that."

Levi lowered his head. "I know." He took his book back. "But know my time with you has been the best time of my whole life."

"Mine too."

He kissed you let his lips linger on yours for a moment. "I'll come back to you, I promise. This is not the end."

You smiled at him, then stood up with him. "This isn't goodbye, but a see you soon."

He nodded. "Right."

You gripped your manga and looked to a doorway opening. "I'll wait for you."

"I'll come racing back." He kissed you one last time, then walked through the doorway and said your name. "I love you."

You blew him a kiss and waved. "I love you, Levi Ackerman." You stayed strong until he was gone, then you broke. You fell to the floor and sobbed hard at losing the only man you'd ever truly loved. "Levi."

You didn't give up on him. You followed his story in the manga and you were so proud of him. You loved how strongly he fought through everything. Your heart broke when he lost more friends to the war, but he stayed strong. He knew he needed to stay to help them. You were so proud of him and you noticed that your book was always in his office on his desk, or in his bed.

You were terrified when the manga came to an end, because it meant never seeing him again and watch his life progress. You wished he had a happy ending, but he was a broken tired man by the end. You loved seeing him trying to move on, but something caught your eye. You looked closely as he sat in his chair with your book in hand. You lit up in delight at knowing that after all this time, he'd never forgotten about you.

You gasped when you heard a ripping. You looked across your room and smiled at Levi as he moved into your world. "Levi."

Levi smiled at you and said your name.

You welled up and smiled. "Welcome home, Levi."

#aot levi #fanfic #levi x y/n #levi ackerman #levi x you #aot fanfiction #levi fanfiction #snk levi #aot x you #captain levi #levi

73 notes · View notes

beyondspaceandstars · 3 years

Text

Pastries & Memories

Relationship: Dark!Bucky Barnes x Innocent!Reader Warnings: manipulation, mentions of stalking, gaslighting, mentions of kidnap and harm Summary: The smell of pastries brings back triggers the unsettling memory of how you actually met Bucky. But when you confront him, there's no telling what's right anymore. A/N: i’ve been really into dark fics lately and naturally wanted to give it a shot! this certainly isn’t the wildest, darkest piece out there but this is me just dipping my toes in the water. i hope it’s still enjoyable!

Masterlist

He had taken you in. Comforted you. Welcomed you. Loved you. Saved you. Protected you.

At least — that was how your brain fuzzily pieced it together. How you actually ended up living in this apartment was a bit beyond your reach mentally. You could remember the outdoors, walking somewhere… then… then you were off. Bucky, you thought, told a different story.

But none of it actually mattered, really. In reality, you felt like you had always been with him. You two had finally connected one day and the rest had become history. He was all you needed. A lover, a protector, a rock.

You reeled in your wandering mind as you stood at the kitchen counter cutting up some strawberries. There was a little farmers market that had set up in the city last week and after a little persuasion, Bucky allowed you to check it out. He gave you some cash and you had chosen the most lovely looking strawberries. You felt a bit proud of yourself for venturing out of the apartment completely unaware that he was tailing you closely as you went, always on the lookout for his best girl.

When you had gotten back to the apartment that afternoon, he had pestered you about what you were going to make with the berries. You had giggled and pushed him away, commenting on how he hovered around like an anxious puppy. You hadn’t seen the stiff stance he took as darkness flashed in his eyes.

Truthfully, you hadn’t really decided what you were going to make with them at the time. Indecisive, you asked Bucky to look for some strawberry recipes online. Your internet access was greatly limited by your protective boyfriend but you didn’t really mind. Whatever was out there nowadays couldn’t have been more important than your love — well, except for strawberry treats, you realized.

Bucky obliged and hunted around for some baking blogs for you to browse. Eventually, you had settled on a fresh strawberry pie. The filling didn’t call for a jam like the others did, instead choosing to highlight the lusciousness of the fresh fruit. That sounded perfect for these lovely berries.

So, there you stood, dicing them carefully as you waited for the pie crust to get done with its par-bake. Bucky had collected the items for you from the store earlier that week but you wouldn’t give him a clue as to what you were baking. He had seemed pretty upset with that, almost threatening to not pick up the items, but then you explained you wanted to surprise him. He worked hard, you said, and he deserved to come home to some fresh baked goods.

Although, you maybe should’ve told him when you were going to make it.

As you were just finishing up with the strawberries, Bucky walked through the apartment door, giving a resounding "hello" to you. You greeted him back.

Bucky placed a large kiss on your cheek and proceeded to place a paper bag on the counter next to you. The outside of it had a logo for the bakery you thought you had read about just a few streets over. You frowned at the sight. Why…

"Oh, gosh," Bucky sighed as he looked around at the hectic kitchen. "I’m sorry, doll. I didn’t realize you were making your strawberry thing today. I wouldn’t have stopped at the bakery."

Your eyes shot from the bag to your boyfriend. "T-That’s fine, honey. I should’ve told you."

"Well, I guess you can never have too many sweets, right?" He asked with a light chuckle. You smiled in return, your mind still taking in that bakery bag. Bucky walked over to it now and opened it, letting the fresh smell of pastries hit your nose. You nearly jumped out of your skin.

You knew that smell — how did you know that smell? You gave an odd sniff, taking in the scent of baked dough and custardy filling. You knew that. A cheese danish. How did you know that?

Tears began forming in your eyes but you weren't exactly sure why — hell, you weren’t sure of anything right now. Where had this overwhelming sensation appeared from? The danish? Were you just hungry? Your hands were shaking. You saw the bakery flash in your mind. You had walked past it before — why would you have done that? Bucky never let you go that way citing the city safety. But you had once.

You were walking past the bakery, suddenly craving a pastry. But you didn’t stop for one. No — it was early morning and you were late. Late for what? You didn’t work. Except that maybe you had.

Bucky came into frame now. His smile was wide but his eyes were dead. He said some words — you couldn’t make them out — and you tried stepping around him. He didn’t like that. Of course not. Bucky was a stickler when it came to listening to him, to say the least. But you knew that was always for the best so why did you disobey him that time? He grabbed your arm in the memory. And then there was a pain in your neck. You were under now. Into the darkness.

You gasped as the memories suddenly dissolved. A hand was gripping your arm once more. But this time was very real and it was from a very, very concerned Bucky.

"Doll?" He asked, his eyes growing with worry and…anger? "What’s wrong?"

You couldn’t blink the tears away fast enough. What was that? Your mind was swimming as you tried finding some words to answer Bucky.

"N-Nothing."

"Nothing?" He frowned. "You’re crying."

A ding came from the oven. You mumbled a silent thank you and quickly went to tend to your pie crust. You pulled it out and placed it on the cooling rack before turning back to your strawberry filling. According to this recipe it needed a few more items…

"Sweetheart," Bucky’s voice boomed through the apartment. You jumped, nearly forgetting he was standing right over you. Your obliviousness far from an accident. "What’s going on?"

You eyed the bakery bag. Bucky had now taken the pastries out and placed them on a platter. Cheese danishes confirmed. You gulped.

"Could you… Could you tell me about the day we met, again?" You asked the question slowly, carefully, as that bakery logo flooded your mind. It was abruptly disrupted by Bucky plunging something into your neck. You shook your head and turned back to the filling, adding what was instructed.

Your question wasn’t really a weird one. You enjoyed hearing the story of how you two met as your memory was not really the best these days. You never did find out why…

"We met at a coffee shop," Bucky explained. You could tell he was suspicious but he amused you nonetheless. "I had seen you a few times in there before and, thankfully, one day I got the courage to speak to you. I asked you what book you were reading and you told me about it. We talked until closing time. I couldn’t get you out of my mind from that point on."

You nodded, letting the familiar story wash over you. This time, though, it felt so foreign. Like it was a fairytale. Too perfect. Too natural. You looked at the pastries, halting all progress on the pie.

"Well, then," you said, "I guess I just had the weirdest thoughts."

Bucky took a step closer to you. His front was nearly fully pressed into your back. "What kind of thoughts?"

You shook your head. "It’s silly-,"

His hand gripped your arm tightly. "Tell me."

You wanted to turn away. Wanted somehow to get out of this position. This wasn’t how today was supposed to go. You were supposed to surprise him with a nice pie once he got home. He’d shower you with love and thank you’s before you turned your attention to dinner. While you made dinner, he’d watch some sports game on the television. You two would then eat like a nice couple and Bucky would compliment you profusely. That was how it all should’ve gone. That was how the good days went.

You wanted today to be a good day. But it was turning into a bad one real fast despite how much you really didn’t want to go down that path. Bad days were few and far between now but you remembered them in bits and pieces from the beginning of your relationship. They were just glimpses but, boy were they strong. You had forgotten things a lot or took long to understand something and Bucky had little patience for it back then. There was the pushing, the yelling, the degrading… No, no. You couldn’t turn down there but you couldn’t lie—

"I saw myself walking," you said, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. "It was a nice morning it seemed and I had walked past that bakery." You pointed to the bag. Bucky stiffened. "I thought I wanted a pastry but I was…late? I don’t remember the details and then you were suddenly there. You said something and eventually took me by the arm. Then there was a pain in my neck. It all went black."

There. The words were out. You explained it and now all you could do was pray and pray and pray that nothing bad came from this. You couldn’t stop your thoughts, really. Something happened there. That damn bakery, you guessed.

"Doll," Bucky tsked. He didn’t sound too angry just…dismissive. "Maybe you should go lay down. You’re not thinking right."

Your jaw went slack as you turned around. Bucky’s hand left your arm but you were now pressed against the counter, his body practically toppling over yours. Still, you looked up at him, in a bit of shock. He looked pretty calm — not at all mad, thankfully — as he stared down at you in worry.

"I— I think I know what I saw, Bucky," you insisted. He shook his head.

"You know your memory isn’t very good, honey," he said. "I think maybe you’ve been reading too many of those thriller novels. Might be mixing up fiction and reality." He motioned towards the bookshelf in the apartment holding your favorite books. Your brows furrowed at it. You owned maybe two thrillers and neither dealt with…anything like that.

"But it was me in the memory. I swore I was walking and there — there was that bakery!" You exclaimed, pointing at the bag. "You were there in front of me. Why were you there, Bucky? Did… Did something happen?"

Bucky’s jaw clenched as he looked over you. His eyes were a bit darker now, taking in your stubborn form. You tried holding your ground under his gaze but you were too intimidated by him. Besides, a bad day could be upon you. But you also felt your curiosity was justified and he hadn’t snapped right away. Was there really something to this?

But Bucky just shook his head again. "I really don’t know what you’re talking about," he sighed. "Why would you have even been over by that bakery? I tell you to stay away from there, don’t I? Unless you’ve been sneaking out."

Your jaw dropped fully this time. That was near to impossible it felt like not to mention it was absolutely something you’d never do. You’d never break Bucky’s trust like that. You knew the consequences that could come from it. They could even follow if he had just thought you did something. That was another part of the path you had to steer from.

"N-No!" You placed your hands on his chest, trying to reason. "I didn’t, Bucky, I swear. Y-You’re right. I’d never be over there, that’s such a silly thought to have. I must’ve read about it or something. The newspaper can be so graphic sometimes." You now prayed you were handling this right.

Bucky’s eyes searched you fiercely as you waited for his judgment to reign down upon you. He took your hands in his in an almost crushing hold. You tried to steady your breathing. Every word was pretty true. It must’ve just been something insane you had read. This could never happen to you. Not with someone like Bucky around. Your protector in many ways.

Eventually, Bucky nodded and said, "I’m canceling the paper subscription until you get better. I don’t want you getting scared like this, sweetheart." A beat. You let out a sigh of relief. "That means no more thriller novels either, okay? I need my sweet girl back. You’ve become so jittery." With that explanation, Bucky pulled you into a hug, his arms tight around you. You reciprocated, throwing your arms around his neck. You were glad he couldn’t see your confused expression. You hadn’t become jittery…had you? Maybe this outburst was a sign of something to come. Bucky was pretty smart when it came to stuff like that.

"I’m sorry to worry you," you mumbled.

Bucky pulled away. He forced you two eye-to-eye once more. His hand came to your cheek, caressing softly. "I just want to protect my girl, okay? That’s a lot of bad things out there."

You agreed and Bucky gave a small smile before placing a soft kiss on your lips. He eventually broke the hug and you watched as he took the bakery bag and its treats. Both were immediately dropped into the trash.

"What did you do that for?" You asked. You actually wouldn’t mind a cheese danish now.

Bucky shrugged, his smirk doing little to hide the concern for you. "Who needs that when my girl is making me a homemade pie?" Bucky took a strawberry from the bowl and popped it in his mouth. You gasped at his action, swatting his hands away while he laughed like a child.

The situation was now suddenly long forgotten. So fast, so swift. As he had wanted.

You turned back to the pie filling, completely oblivious to Bucky’s sudden change in expression. His dark eyes roamed over you like a hawk to prey.

341 notes · View notes

hnychn · 3 years

Text

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 [𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍]

summary : it was painful to watch eren become the very person he swore to protect you from

warnings : gender neutral reader, angst (when is it not), season 4 anime spoilers, a bit of jean x reader but nothing is specified,

word count : 2k+

a/n : i kinda don't like this cause idk if the feeling came out as i wanted it to, but i also don't know how to fix it and make it better. i kinda played around with eren's titan abilities and the memories he inherited, but anyways lmk what you thought.

attack on titan masterlist || navigation

Philtatos.

That’s what Achilles was said to have called his love, Patroclus.

Most Beloved.

A word often spoken between the two as the salty ocean breeze filtered through the open windows and Achilles held Patroclus as if he were the moon holding his tide and Patroclus held Achilles as if he were brightening his world like a thousand golden urns. A word spoken between gasps and puffy lips as the moon peeked through the curtains and guided the two lovers. A word so precious and valuable it was the only word Achilles could cry as he held his lover’s body in the aftermath of the Trojan War.

But words too often spoken, are meanings too often lost.

“If it ever came down to you or the world, I’d choose you over and over and over.”

Much like Patroclus, you cherished the words so rarely dripped from his lips like a drop of water spilling over the edge of a cup. You held Eren tighter, pressed more kisses to the curve of his lips, held his face closer to your own when he let those rare words slip from his lips. When he spoke those words, it was as if a million stars had suddenly been dropped into your dark abyss of a universe and guided your way through life; each sparkle capturing a piece of your breath and stealing your heart and soul with no intentions of giving it back.

Eren embodied the golden urns that spilled from the sun that guided Patroclus’ path to Achilles in the afterlife; he was bright, warm, home.

When Eren lit up your word as he did, when he lit up your path and guided you to him, it was easy to call him home. He was your person. Your person who waited for you with open arms and a cup overflowing with love waiting for you to take and cherish and keep. It was easy for you to mold yourself into his arms on harsher days when he pat your head and whispered, “It’s you over the world. Always” into your ears when you wanted to scream and cry and set fire to the world.

He promised you protection; a secure future filled with love and hope and freedom and forever. It was easy to believe him when he put his life on the line for you when he was on trial. Screaming and thrashing and struggling to get to you as members of the military brigade twisted your arms behind your back and threatened to end your life on suspicions of knowing Eren’s secret. It was easy to believe him when he held you close later, with the moon’s light filtering into the room and the cold breeze cradling both of your bodies. It was easy to believe him when he held you close, his hands fisting the back of your shirt as if someone would burst in and steal you from him at any moment, while his words tickled your ear and warmed your heart, “I will protect you. You are my world.”

But words too often spoken, are meanings too often lost.

You could remember the day his words started lacking their once bright luster. Not long after retaking Wall Maria, you felt the salty ocean breeze against the curves of your face and the cool ocean water against the heels of your ankle. You smiled as you watched Connie and Sasha play in the water and looked over to Eren to do the same; but the sparkle in his eyes, or rather the lack thereof, is when the warmth of his words started to burn out like a flame too long exposed to the harsh winter.

"The world is against us. . .and I won’t let them win.”

Your back was turned to him, pressing against his firm chest that once grounded you in reality and assured you of safety; but now it only frightened you and summoned a churn in your stomach you didn’t know was possible in Eren’s presence.

It was as if your mind recognized it sooner than your heart did. As if your brain could recognize the small changes in your lover, the way his eyes slowly dimmed and were no longer the same jade green that reminded you of the soft grass that tickled the pads of your feet outside of your childhood cottage but had turned into a stormy grey that reminded you of the storms that sunk ships and shattered the hearts and trust of many.

But your heart refused to acknowledge it. Eren had placed a veil of red in front of your heart that blurred all sense of rationale you had. You could see the way he seemed to withdraw into himself more, his words became more scarce, his affection became rarer and rarer as the days passed. Your eyes could register the lack of sparkle in his when he looked at you, but your heart was under his control and refused to acknowledge it.

It was painful watching the person you love most slowly fall out of love with you.

Your heart ached when you looked him in the eyes and were faced with the heartbreaking reality that the stars that once lit up your whole universe were now slowly dimming and simmering away.

And then he disappeared.

As if he were whispers of dandelions floating in the wind, he disappeared, leaving nothing but a stem of the flower he once was in his wake.

You cried and screamed and thrashed about when you first found out, and despite his arms wrapped around you in an effort of comfort, Jean wasn't Eren. You pounded against his chest and screamed at him to let you go, to let you leave and find eren. Because it had to be a mistake, Eren wouldn't just leave you behind . . . right?

The blinding veil had been ripped from your heart and left it shattered. You spent several days locked in your room with only a few shirts Eren left behind to comfort you, his natural scent fading away as time passed, just as his love did for you.

Though, just as Patroclus did, you soon found your peace (though it wasn’t as heartwarming as reuniting with your long-lost lover like Patroclus, peace was peace and you would accept it as it came). It took a while, but with the help of your friends and Jean, you were able to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and tape them back together.

But the process of healing is not a simple task.

There were days where you wanted to scream at the stars at the top of your lungs, there were days where you wanted to lock yourself in your room again and cry until there were no more tears for you to give, and there were days where you wanted to shatter Eren’s nose as he did your heart. But you took those days with unwavering confidence and picked up your pieces when they fell again.

You picked them up until there was no more need to pick them up because time had healed you. And while it did hurt to accept it, it was a part of healing.

And so, you accepted that Eren had chosen a life without you.

Eren didn't know whether to be happy or not to see you.

Happy you were alive. Happy he was able to see your face one more time. Happy you had made it out alive from the problems he caused.

His soul ached for him to reach out to you, to hold you close and pepper kisses to your face, and never let you go from the protection of his arms. He ached to take your hand in his and feel the way they fit so perfectly together as if they were made of the same mold. Eren ached to feel the soft pads of your fingers against his cheeks and hear your reassurances that, yes, he was good.

But he stayed put.

And he allowed you to look at him with those beautiful eyes he once loved looking into during the darkest nights that were filled with a love words could not tie-down, but we're now filled with confusion and laced with anger and an array of emotions Eren couldn’t blame you for. Eren allowed you to walk out the door of the airship and into the back where he could hear screams of joy. He let you walk away from him; the echoing sounds of your footsteps getting quieter and quieter as you walked farther away from him.

That was the only time Eren questioned whether what he was doing was right. The more steps you took away from him, the more he had to restrain his body from grabbing you and chaining you to the front of the ship. His body screamed at him to yell, speak, kick, grab you, tackle you, do anything to stop you from leaving.

But he didn't, and he allowed you to walk away.

Eren stared blankly at the metal flooring of the airship as he heard the cheering abruptly stop, and his heart sank. He prayed and prayed to the gods he didn't believe in for someone else to have been hit, that it was someone else bleeding onto the cold floor; because Eren knew he wouldn't be able to go to you. Not with Levi in front of him.

His prayers went unanswered as Jean walked in with two kids, his eyes were red with unshed tears and his hands gripped their clothing as if it were the only thing grounding him to this reality. A reality where you had been shot. A reality that Eren had seen and could have prevented.

Everything seemed to go blank then. It was as if his body shut down, his lands going limp in his lap. The sounds of Mikasa and Armin running out of the room were only white noise, but the sound of your name falling in screams once they saw you were as clear as day.

It was then that Eren realized he was but a pawn in the grand scheme of the memories he held. There was no alternative for him, no way for him to save the people he loved; leaving him to experience loss not once, but twice.

Eren tried to soften the blow of your loss by convincing himself he didn't love you, that your love was nothing but puppy love he clung onto for a small sliver of a normal life, but seeing you again for the first time in years reminded him how much he loved you.

The way you stood with confidence and fought on foreign land made his heart beat with the remembrance of the nights he held you close in his arms and whispered promises of protection and love. Promises of a world of freedom and independence.

"It's you, you, you. Always you,” words once whispered with a love Eren could only dream and long for in the present where you would no longer be there to hear them.

There was no doubt in his mind, in another universe, one where titans didn't roam the earth and the world wasn't against them, Eren would have chosen you in a heartbeat, over and over and over. In a world where his only worries would be what to eat for dinner that night, Eren would hold you close and cherish you just like he wished could in this universe.

But as the memories he inherited played out just as he knew them to and the feeling of losing you weighed heavier on him than it had when he first saw the memory years ago, Eren knew there was nothing else keeping him from becoming the very thing he promised to protect you from.

A monster.

And when Connie walked into the room, his hands stained with your blood and his eyes dripping with the horror of losing someone close, Eren knew what he had done.

Eren chose the world over you.

taglist: @hells-glory-hole @ashveil @stickystrawberrysyrup @420-uwu @kaiwai @the-trash-mammal @dprhvn @noodle-m-c-doodle

#attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #eren x reader #eren yaeger x reader #eren jaeger #eren jeager x reader #eren yeager #team eren #angst #attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan headcanon #subtle jean x reader

410 notes · View notes

kissme-hs · 3 years

Text

Rules ♡ h.s.

Hey my loves! How’re you all? Here’s a little something based off the following request I’ve had for too long. Would you like a part 2? Let me know what you think! Please re-blog and like if you enjoyed <3 {photo and gif not mine}

Anonymous asked: could u do a Dom!harry smut where he’s really rough and strict in bed? Plzz I love ur writing ❤️

Pairing: Harry Styles x Fem! Reader

Word count: 3.2K

Warning: 18+ Smut, Degradation, Unprotected sex, slight mention of BDSM, oral sex fem recieves and gives, use of filthy language etc. {PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH DOM-SUB fics}

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Softy, a complete whole soft person Harry was viewed as by the entire world. A guy who loves wearing nail polish and dresses and is nothing but a complete sweetheart. A man, in fact, a man child. In the eyes of million he was a sweet, laid back English lad who wouldn’t dare to hurt a fly.

However, some knew he owned a pair of Gucci handcuffs, the shiny metal made thousands of girls and guys wonder if he actually uses them and the answer is they don’t know. He has never been a man to speak openly about his personal life and just like the rest he let the audience to allow their minds to wander in the oblivion of their thoughts of what he prefers in bed. Or how he is in bed.

All they could do is assume. They assumed he’s rough, maybe soft, or maybe enjoys role play?

No one knows really. Except you.

The only person who has seen his deepest and darkest fantasies. The only person who has ever signed the paper of agreement between you two, you agreeing on being his sub, i.e. submissive. Giving him the permission to have his way with you, be it rough, soft or a role play. Whatever it may be, you said yes. The terms and conditions did scare you. The words printed on the piece of paper came off too strong that lied on your lap the night you’re eyes were scanning it, mind finally synching with your wants, deciding it was time you sign the agreement.

*This is a confidential agreement. Submissive is not allow to talk about it to anyone else but the Dom.*

Submissive agrees to obey whatever Dom orders them to do, sexually.

Safe word to be used by submissive is “peach”, if the boundaries are being pushed, the word to be used is “red”.

Honestly, it would scare anybody who reads the further details listed in the contract and what activities Dom would like themselves and the sub to immerge into such as extreme sex toys, being tied up by ropes, fisting and other terms that you didn’t even know the meaning of. But Harry wasn’t doing it just for himself, but for you.

When the day your ex left without a note you found yourself crying in his arms, sobbing and clutching his t-shirt like a broken kid and it hurt him. So he suggested, he was well aware how you wouldn’t be able to go out with anyone after what has happened so why not help you take your mind off him? Nodding to his words, not knowing what was coming you went home and the next morning you saw an envelope on your porch.

And there lied the papers. Submissive-Dom agreement.

“What is this Harry?” You breathed out in fear as your eyes scanned the words and brain figured out what it meant.

“You know it’s not a bad thing, it’ll help you clear your mind”

“Bu-“

“Trust me, plus we don’t have to do what you don’t want to.”

“I don’t know Harry”

“Do you trust me?”

“I do”

“good”

“Do you trust me?” You said biting your lip as you scrunched the bottom of the paper.

“I do”

“Why the agreement then?”

“Its for your own good” and with that the line went dead leaving you in complete confusion. Even though your mind had untangled thoughts and questions clashing together, not thinking twice your fingers grabbed the pen and in a messy rush glided over the rough paper sealing the secret.

And so it began. He invited you over to his place in LA. The house where you’ve been many times but that was when you were friends, you still are but things changed. Quite a lot. His hand held yours as he guided you to the hallway where you never went or even were aware that existed.

Walking a couple more steps you both were standing in front of the huge door. Comparatively bigger than the other he had in his house.

“Stay here” he said as he lets go of your hand and takes a step forward to unlock the door for which he had the key in his necklace. Yes his necklace, a master of disguise.

The second you heard the twisting of the key opening the big door he stepped aside for you to enter the room. Your heart racing with anticipation as you waited for the lights to reveal what he’s had hidden in this room, away from the eyes of the world, away from you.

His fingers flicked the switch and the you saw it. The big red room with a huge bed in the middle, it was surrounded by leashes, leather whips, ropes and the ceiling was nothing but a huge mirror that reflected every move of yours.

Walking down the shiny black floor your hand brushed again the walls that seems so cushiony as you turned your head to look at harry who was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed with a smirk adorning his face.

“Sound proof.” He said as you nodded and continued looking around. Your fingers touched the cold leather whips and slides across the teak wooden drawer. Turning your head one more time to get his approval which he gladly gave, your hand held the handle to pull out the drawer.

There lied several silk blind folds. So rich and expensive. Moving to the next drawer, lied about 50 hand ties, and hand cuffs. Metal, clothed, you name it he has it. And then the last drawer hitched your breath, vibrators, butt plugs, dildos and every other toy you saw in porn.

“I-I never knew you were into this” you whispered as you let your fingers ghost over the silk ties that lied in a perfect fold in the drawer.

“Now you do” you heard his message getting closer to you until his front was pressed against your back. You feel his crotch right up against your ass as he gently, yet with a slight force pushed your front againt the drawer so that you were slightly bent. His hand making it’s from your stomach dragging up all the way up until it found the base of your neck.

The cold metal of his rings felt hot against your skin as he pushed your head back and leaned in closer to your ear. His breath fanning over the love making you shiver.

“Now what’re the rules?”

“I-I call you sir” you breathed out the words as his Kept his hand on your neck giving it a light squeeze telling you to go on, go on with the rules listed in the contract.

“I cannot touch you or myself. I-I respond with words. I-“

“You what?”

“I address myself as your whore”

“That’s correct. You are my filthy little whore. Aren’t you?” He said. His voice deeper than you’ve ever before. And his hand that once held your neck now moved to your side turning you around in a one swift motion. His lips wasting no time to latch onto yours, kissing hungrily as if he’s been dying to kiss you.

And god he has been. Ever since he held your hand walking down the corridor he’s been thinking about having you his way, just like he wants. Kiss those lips and have a taste of thag body is all that has been on his mind since you signed those papers he sent.

Lost in the kiss, deep in your thoughts you were enjoying the feeling of his lips on yours and the rules fading away from your mind. It’s hard to control and stay in the boundaries he’s created when his tongue is inside your mouth dancing along yours, so you let your fingers get lost in those curls as your bite his lower lip.

But to your surprise his reflexes were quick enough to have your hand removed from his hair and twist it and hold it behind your back in a one swift motion.

“One kiss and you’re already breaking the rules. You’re lucky I’m not going to punish you, this is your first and last time.” He groaned before he grabbed you and threw over his shoulder. His hand hving your ass a tight slap before he throws you over the big bed that was situated in the middle on the big room.

Your eyes flickering open to see your own reflection in the mirror that was on the ceiling. Your lips swollen, shirt collected right below your breat revealing your bare skin of the stomach and chest rising with every deep breath you took.

“Now listen to me, you’re gonna look at yourself in the mirror and tell me every single rule listed in the contract. One wrong rule and you lose the chance to cum. Understood?” Harry said as he unbuttoned your jeans pulling it down your legs and stopping right before taking them out when he didn’t hear you reply.

“I asked you something” he raised his eyebrow as one of he held your ankles towards behind your knees over so he could see the cheeks of your ass before giving you another spank.

“Y-yes sir,”

“Yes sir what?”

“Yes sir, understood”

Mumbling a low ‘good girl’ he took off your pants and then sat on you with legs either side your waist to take your top off, his mouth watered when he saw your nipple coming out of your back bra which probably happened when he threw you on the bed.

“Jesus. So full” he muttered before holding your hand over your head and lower his mouth on your nipple, his other hand pushing the cups down so that he could take the whole bud in his mouth and suckle on it making your arch your back. His mouth felt so warm on your cold bud as his tongue flicked the pebble hard nipple around and his bite it slightly before letting it go with a slight pop.

Grabbing a silk tie from the side drawer he tied it around your wrist that he had held in his hand and unhooked the bra—rolling it along the lilc tee that you wore until it reached your eyes and acted as a blindfold.

“Start the rules. Remember, one wrong rule and you lose the chance to cum”

“Yes sir”

“Start” he ordered. And you opened your mouth to let the words out but your breath sucked in when you felt him throwing your legs on his shoulder and his lips coming in contact with your inner thigh.

“I-I don’t sleep with someone else.”

“Cannot”

“Sorry sir, I cannot sleep with someone else”

His lips licked over your drenched knickers that covered your throbbing clit waiting for be touched his tongue. You clenched your thighs together only to be pushed apart by his hands as his nose rubbed over your clothed centre, sniffing, taking the smell of your aroma.

“I cum only when you say” you bite your lip feeling the cotton materiel of your underwear being pushed aside, sensing the cold air of the room mixed with Harry’s warm breath fanning over your sex making your shiver and you shrieked when his four fingers slapped your cunt making the wet filthy sound which only made you drop more.

“Only when I order, looks like you didn’t read it properly you little slut. Lost a chance to feel my tongue on this little pussy of yours”

“I’m sorry sir, please”

“Please what?”

“Please forgive me and eat me out”

“And what are you?”

“I’m your filthy little slut, your whore. Please eat me out sir please” you whimpered as you pleaded harry dying to feel that muscular tongue on your pussy to finally see how it feels like to have his mouth on you which you’ve always dreamt of. Even though you were in a relationship, there always has been a sexual tension between you two which is the reason why you agreed on doing this at the first place.

“That’s right, you’re a whore. A little dirty whore.” And with that you felt his tongue lick a long stride of your lips pushing them open. That one lick was enough to make you squirm, what a shame you couldn’t see his face tucked between your legs as his chain dangles from his neck and gives your a perfect view of his chest from the black shirt he wore, unbuttoned enough for you to see his butterfly tattoo to the slightest.

“Who told you to stop, say the rules doll”

“I see you at least twice a week when you’re in town”

His mouth was now on your clit, sucking it like a leech. His lips left the bundle of nerve with a pop as his hand came in to rub it harshly, before his index finger collected your juices that dripped down your hole and you heard him licked it clean and without any word you feel your opening being stretched to the fullest when he inserted two fingers.

His mouth finding its way back to your clit, licking and sucking your pussy without any mercy. Your hips bucked up in his mouth which he roughly pinned down.

“If I see you doing that once more I swear to god you’ll forget how to walk you slut” he said through gritted teeth as if you interrupted his meal. He shook his head keeping his lips on your clit to give those toe curling vibrations with his fingers twisting inside you.

He felt your soft walls clenching as he let go of your swollen clit to take his fingers out and slide his tongue inside you feeling the warmth against his tongue.

He spread your legs open as he pushed his tongue in and out, tongue-fucking you savouring every drop you released.

“I only wear red and black lingerie when I see you”

His fingers came back in position as his mouth placed itself back on your clit not leaving the swollen bug alone. Your back now covered in sweat and your nipple perched up, mouth dry and pussy waiting to release.

“Wrong. You only wear red around me.”

And with that he flipped you over so that you were lying on your stomach and your ass was up in the air. Withing another second you felt a tight spank against your ass cheek making you hiss in pain.

“That’s what you get for being a dumb whore”

“Sorry sir”

Followed by another spank he pushed you back to him so that he could press his bulge to your arse.

“Grind. Grind like the little road slut you are” he gripped your ass so firmly that you could feel his metal rings digging in your skin as he held them strong in front of his crotch.

As you tried to held yourself up on your elbow he pressed your head down on the bed so that your cheek was squished against the soft cushion.

“Grind i said”

Obliging to his command your moved your ass up his all rock hard cock that you felt tight against your butt cheeks making you moan. Moving your ass in rounds and different directions you felt him buck further into your hips wanting for a release as his hands came in to grip your hair that fell down your shoulder.

Wrapping the long locks around his hand in a fist his he pushed your head back to that your tee which was covering your eyes now came down hanging around your neck which was strained because of his grip on your hair.

“I’m gonna fuck the shut outta you, gonna destroy that little cunt of yours and make you scream until you the only name you remember is mine and forget that asshole who made you cry” and that’s how your first night ended as a submissive after being raw dogged to the fullest with the rough hand prints laying on your ass cheeks.

But that was just the beginning, so when one day you found yourself on your knees in the bathroom of a posh restaurant that Harry insisted to take you to you weren’t surprised.

You mouth dripping saliva as he held your face in one hand keeping it upwards so he will have a full view of your mouth which was sucking on his thick sick. Lips wrapped around his shaft you gagged when he bucked his hips further in your mouth hitting the back of your throat making it impossible for you to take him any deeper.

“Jesus fucking christ you little cunt” he moaned grabbing your mouth so he could move your head to his liking. Following his movements, you bobbed your head hold the base of his cock, twisting your hand around his with the faint wrist while you suckled with hollow cheeks.

It all started when he saw you arrive at the restaurant. Wearing a tight black dress that hugged your curves and gave all men a delicious view of your plunging breasts making the jaws drop.

“Meet me in the bathroom, right now”

“But wh-“

“Do as told”

And when you did you felt him grab you by your hair and push you against the counter so that your stomach was against the cold marble top while your ass was facing him which he wasted no second uncovering, lifting the almost sheer clothing and pushing it over your waist to reveal your unclothed bottom.

“fucking whore”

Your body flinched with pleasure disguised In pain as he raised his hand and slapped it across your cheeks looking at you straight through the mirror. His hand gripping your hair.

“Look at me” he ordered and you flickered your eyes open to see his dilated pupil and heavy breathing chest. His ring cladded slender fingers didn’t stop spanking shaking your whole body up until he pulled you back and pushed you down on your knees and stepped in front of you with his dick out and slapped it across your face.

“Open” he said holding his hard dick from the base and you did as told. Soon you felt it heavy on the tongue as he patted it on your tongue before pulling away, grabbing your cheeks and pulling your face upwards to him. His fingers wasted no time squishing your cheeks so that your mouth was open slightly giving him the perfect angel so spit in your mouth making you gasp.

“Swallow” and once again you do as told before grabbing his dick and kitten licking his tip, teasing him. But he wasn’t having it so grabbing the back of your head he pushed your head forward until his shaft was hitting the back of you had making your gag, your eyes picking up instant tears and he would’ve stopped right away if they were tears of pain, but they weren’t.

“this is what you get for breaking the rule of not wearing revealing clothes until I ask you to. Get treated like a slut, a fucking filthy whore in the public sucking my dick” he groaned as you played with his ball bobbing your hand.

His grip on your hair tightened before you felt his hot cum gushing down your throat which your swallowed without his order and let go of his cock with a ‘pop’.

Pulling your face up to him he swiped his thumb over your bottom lip collecting the escaping cum and pushing it in your mouth which you happily took sucking on his thumb.

“Be a good girl, and follow the rules”

#aghhh #what do you think?#let me know #harry styles #harry styles imagines #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #harry styles writings #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles blurbs #harry styles one shots #harry styles fanfiction #hs #hstyles

539 notes · View notes

christ0pher-evans · 3 years

Text

Bewildered Heart

Part Three of the Shattered Heart Mini-Series

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader Warnings: SMUT 18+ / Angst / Cheating / Arguing / Mentions of Divorce Word Count: 3.4k A/N: omg I finally made it to part three! I know a lot of you have been waiting a while for this so I really really appreciate your patience and support, it means the world to me!! Let me know all your thoughts and feelings! X Please reblog and like🖤

Part One: Shattered Heart Part Two: Troubled Heart

♡

As soon as you put the phone down, you were frustrated that you didn’t tell Chris that you loved him; of course you did. Nothing he could do would make you not love him, you committed your life to him and he was your husband, obviously you’d always love him. And then you realised, there is no shame in that. Even though he cheated on you, even though he broke your heart, there would always be love between you, forever and that was okay.

The clarity in your rationalised epiphany put your mind at ease. You knew that you were heading into this conversation with Chris with a clear mind, you knew you wanted to try and solve your issues without fighting, without causing a scene.

Taking a deep breath, you began to brew a pot of coffee as you heard keys unlocking your front door.

You turned around, and there he was. Standing at the other side of the breakfast bar, looking as handsome as ever, wedding band reflecting the sun coming through the patio doors. You subconsciously play with your own wedding ring, feeling an odd sense of relief knowing neither of you had taken them off.

“Hi..” you breathe out, surprisingly happy to see him.

Chris shuffled closer to you, blatantly nervous but wanting to be near you. You were apprehensive but didn’t stop him as he leaned in and kissed your cheek tenderly, hand delicately touching your waist.

Breath hitching in your throat at the titillating contact, you move away abruptly, unnerved by the arousing thoughts that enthralled your mind. Busying yourself with pouring two mugs of coffee, Chris sits at the breakfast bar waiting for you.

You sit opposite him, passing him a coffee as he mutters a thanks. His voice is gruff, as if he hasn’t spoken to anyone in two weeks and that’s when you notice he looks a little gaunt. Dark circles under his eyes and slightly scruffy hair adding to the look that insinuates he hasn’t been sleeping well. Your heart falters marginally, just purely because you hate seeing him like this, no matter the situation. That is what you tell yourself anyway, silently commanding yourself to not feel guilty for these circumstances, Chris has bought this all on himself.

Even as you tell yourself that, you hate how it sounds. That’s not you. You’re sympathetic and caring, and you love Chris, you shouldn’t want to see him punishing himself but that seems to be what he has done to you without even knowing; he has turned you into a nasty character.

Having an internal fight with yourself, you want to make small talk but you just can’t, you don’t have it in you to be civil and act nonchalant when there is a dark cloud looming over your marriage. Life is too short to dance around a conversation this important.

“So, um, I’m not going to dance around this because I’ve had two weeks to really digest what’s happened and think about what it means for us, for our marriage..”

Chris takes a sip from his coffee and looks at you, eyes boring into yours like you’re literally holding his heart in your hands, ready to mend it or crush it.

“I’m angry Chris. I’m really angry because even on my darkest days, when I was feeling like our marriage was falling apart, when I was feeling so alone; I never ever thought about kissing someone else. You have always been my only choice, yet you chose someone else?” It sounds like you’re asking him but in reality, you know he already chose someone else over you.

Your voice was shaky, tears already threatening to spill down onto your cheeks but you revel in how freeing it feels to tell Chris exactly what you are feeling. Your emotions finally organised enough to speak your truth.

Chris stays quiet, clearly knowing you well enough to know that you need to carry on telling him how you feel.

“..And I’m fucking sad Chris! All I keep thinking about is how, for the past year, I’ve been sacrificing my time to follow you around the world, sacrificing my happiness to spend minuscule amounts of time fighting for our marriage and you just came to expect it from me. You kept work as your number one priority and let me fall into second place, even when it jeopardised my happiness.”

“That was never my intention Y/N! I never wanted or want you to feel like that. Your happiness is so important to me, I promise it will never happen again!”

“Chris, you threw our marriage away. Like it was disposable and we could just be two friends living together, like we didn’t promise to spend our lives together. You can’t pretend like it’s going to be okay moving forward, because what if I don’t want to move forward?”

Your breath caught in your throat as your words hovered in the air. You knew that was serious statement to blurt out but you knew that you unintentionally meant it otherwise you wouldn’t have said it. This conversation was going to be full of hard truths and you knew this wasn’t a time to hold back, your marriage was at stake.

“Baby, you don’t mean that? Of course you want to move on, we both do. Put this behind us!” You could hear the panic in Chris’ voice.

“How can you say that? How can you say you want to move forward and you want me to move forward when you’re the reason its crumbling in the first place? You put us in this mess! You still have to see this woman every day, how do we move past that?”

You felt sick to your stomach. Never in a million years did you think you would be having this conversation with Chris, especially not once you said your vows. You had made promises and a bond that could never be broken yet here you were, trying to hold the pieces together.

“Chris, you told me you’d love and cherish me forever, you told me that on our wedding day. I told you that you were it for me, and you said it back to me, you-“, your voice broke as the tears started to fall, no longer being able to stay strong.

After your tears had subsided, you sniffed and dried your eyes, determined to raise your points.

“And you.. you said it back to me Chris. You told me I was your number one always, that I was your endgame, forever, infinitely yours. Yet, here I am, wondering why I’m second best to another woman.”

You exhale with force as you begin to feel slightly lighter after getting that off your chest. It definitely doesn’t feel good to admit that you’re not sure if your marriage has a future but you know you have to be truthful. Having so much more to say, you bite your lip to control your word vomit, knowing this is a conversation and not a speech; Chris needs to be allowed to say his piece too. Awaiting his response, you shudder as he reaches out and takes your hands in his.

“Y/N, sweetheart, you are my number one. That hasn’t changed, it never will. I love you. I married you because I want you, you have all of me, always.” He squeezes your hand tighter, putting emphasis on his words but also emphasis on his grip, subconsciously telling you not to let go.

“I know I sound like a broken fucking record sweetheart, but I am so sorry I kissed someone else, it was dumb, so fucking dumb and I can’t explain why I did it. I was just so lonely, so detached from you that I craved comfort.”

“I was fucking lonely too Chris! How do you think I felt when you were at work all the time surrounded by hundreds of people whilst I was sat at home alone trying to think of ways to save our marriage!” You snapped, yelling loud.

Chris sighed, releasing your hands and raising his own in defence.

“Sorry, I.. I didn’t mean it like that. I understand that you were lonely and I was too, we have to respect that we both felt the same but dealt with it very differently. But baby, I could be surrounded by hundreds or thousands of people at work but it would make no difference to me because they weren’t you.”

Knowing Chris was coming from a sweet place, you took a deep breath, needing a minute to collect your emotions before speaking.

“I’m sorry I snapped but it feels like we are going in circles Chris, it’s de ja vu from last year. When I told you how I was feeling, you just dismissed it to make the problems disappear but that’s not how this works. Solving our problems means we have to talk about them..” You could feel yourself getting emotional, working yourself back up into an exasperated state. “..but when you tell me that you feel really lonely because I’m not with you, why is your first though not to come home to me? Why did you continue to go out and kiss another woman? It clearly wasn’t that fucking lonely for you!”

You rolled your eyes dramatically. Feeling this overwhelming satisfaction with your vicious snipes, you knew this would quickly become a fight. The communication barrier was shattered and you had become spiteful, and it was only a matter of time before Chris followed suit.

Chris stood up, cursing angrily as the legs from the stool scraped against the wood flooring. Throwing his hands up in disgust, he scoffed.

“Argh seriously Y/N? What did you just say about not dismissing one another’s feeling?! And here you are, telling me I can’t be lonely because I kissed someone else! Me feeling lonely is the exact fucking reason I did it in the first place!!”

Chris was shouting now, his voice bellowing throughout your marital home. You stayed sitting as the anger poured from his body, feeling equally as bitter.

“So am I meant to assume that every time you feel lonely now, that you’re going to go and kiss another woman? Soon, when you’re feeling really lonely you’ll be fucking someone else! We are married Chris! Shit, I’m meant to be your wife, I’m meant to be the one you kiss and fuck! How would you like it if I went and kissed someone at work because I was sad?” You sneered, desperate to get under his skin now.

“Don’t be so ridiculous, I told you it was a mistake, a one-off! It’ll never happen again! We can sort this out!”

As both your words became more heinous, you couldn’t control yourself. The fact that Chris was now trying to sort out the problems that you’ve been trying to fix for a year just because he got caught out, was diabolical. He had fucked up and was paying the price and he couldn’t handle that. He was coming across like the victim and it was making you queasy.

“Are you fucking serious Chris!! I have been trying to sort out these problems for the past year and you’ve been having none of it, telling me that we are fine and the tough time would pass. Yet here we are..”

You hated what you were about to say but with the anger coursing through your veins, you couldn’t stop yourself.

“..Here we are, teetering on the edge of a fucking divorce because you couldn’t stay loyal to your own wife, because you couldn’t be a decent husband, a decent fucking human being and care about someone else but yourself!!”

The words hung in the air like someone had screamed bloody murder.

Without even realising, you had stood up and was now opposite Chris, chest heaving after spitting such venom in his face. Chris was staring at you like you had unleashed a monster, a raging devil that you had been hiding for a while.

You looked at him, eyes heavy and chest thumping. You bit your lip; terrified of your confession but power hungry from the buzz that being brutally honestly had given you.

Chris only raked his eyes over your body once before he was stalking towards you, pushing and pinning you against the counter, left hand instinctively wrapping around your throat, eyes dark with lust and desire.

Growling in a low, fierce tone, he muttered, “I’ve fucking cared for you every damn day of our marriage, I’ll never stop fucking caring for you because you are my wife. Mine. And I’ll never touch another woman again, because this..” He pauses to grind his cloth covered cock against you. “..this is too fucking good to give up.”

With those words snarled into existence, his lips were on yours. Ravishing you like water in a drought, starved of what he wants, what he owns. And in a really twisted way, you loved it. You were craving his dominance, his power to control you with his touch. No matter what happened, you would always surrender to him because you needed him, you wanted him.

You couldn’t help but whimper as Chris’s hand moved from your throat and travelled down to your hip, leaving a burning path over your breasts and down your stomach in his wake.

“Look at my pretty wife, all desperate for me.” Chris smirked as he trailed kisses all over your neck, pining you harder against the counter to control your squirming. You were ravenous for Chris and you were absolutely fed up of trying to hide it.

He pulled your dress over you in one swift movement, leaving you in just your panties. You looked back up at Chris with lust filled eyes whilst his own eye fucked your now almost naked body.

You couldn’t wait any longer whilst he enjoyed the view, you were too desperate for him.

“Chris, please..” you begged.

Your lips crashed back together furiously, teeth and tongues clashing instantly. Chris continued to assert dominance, lifting you up onto the counter easily and thrusting two fingers inside of you; eager to watch you submit your body to him. You gripped onto his shoulders as he held you up with one arm on the surface, still kissing him like your life depended on it.

But suddenly, it felt like it wasn’t enough, you needed to be closer to Chris, you needed to feel closer to Chris. Starting to fumble with his jeans, you knew what you wanted. It only took Chris a few seconds to realise your desires and he was clearly more than happy to comply, allowing you to undo his jeans and push them down far enough to pull him free from his boxers. Your mouth watered at the sight of him, your core tightening around his fingers at the feeling you knew was coming.

He pulled his fingers out of your core, bringing them to his lips and licking them clean. Your stomach flipped at the view in front of you but your core ached to feel him inside of you again.

“Two weeks without tasting you is far too long baby girl..”

You groan before he smacks his lips against back against your own, even more turned on at the thought of tasting yourself on his lips.

Chris pulled back sharply, grabbing a fistful of hair at the back of your head and forcing you to look down between you both whilst the other hand guided himself to your entrance. Chris was already fully hard, ready and waiting for this moment, this feeling.

“I want you to watch baby. I want you to see me taking what’s mine. I want you to remember that there is no one else that can make you feel this good, remember that no one else can satisfy me like you do. This is mine, you’re mine and I’m taking it back.”

You felt weak under the spell Chris was casting on you. Hanging off of his every word, you felt like the twenty-something girl that met Chris all those years ago, giddy at your obsession with one another. Giddy with the feeling of being happy and in love.

Chris pushed into you. Your eyes rolled back at the feeling of him stretching you open, pushing himself further and further into you until you had swallowed him whole. Your mind reeling at the feeling you’d missed so badly.

Immediately picking up the pace, Chris was thrusting into you harshly, hitting the spot that only he could find. Your kisses were sloppy, rushed and desperate as he kept up his relentless pace.

You knew this wouldn’t last long; the culmination of passion, urgency and anger fuelling the fire you were feeling that you had been craving for two weeks now. The desperation of needing to feel your husbands touch was intense, but neither of you wanted it to last long. It was clear this wasn’t about love or reconciliation, this was about need and ownership; proving that you only belonged to one another, no matter what happened. This was a reminder of that feeling, to anchor yourselves together again.

As Chris maintained his toe-curling pace, your fingers fumbled down to your clit, clumsily dancing over the sensitive bud and adding to your already overwhelming pleasure.

Chris looked at you before spitting a splurge of saliva down onto your clit, moistening the area against the touch of your fingers. As it dripped through your fingers and over your clit and core, you were fiercely encompassed with your desire for this man. This sex was filthy, messy and downright the sexiest fuck you’d ever had together.

As you looked back up at Chris, panting heavily from your arousal, you kissed him lewdly. Biting down hard on his bottom lip, you pulled it in between your teeth; drawing out his own chokes of pleasure.

Chris was close, you knew he was but so were you. The feeling of powerlessness washed over you as your orgasm began to build. Chris was in complete control of your body, clawing to pull every inch of pleasure to the surface before he let you cum. His thrusts became erratic, pushing you further than ever before as your body started to tremble.

“Chris, please..”, you begged again.

“I told you this was too good to give up baby girl! Take it, take all of me!”

With your legs trembling, you gripped Chris’s biceps tightly, nail marks cutting into his perfect skin as your orgasm shot through you. Chris grunted a ‘good girl’ as you came and his thrusts faltered, his own orgasm jolting through his body.

You stayed there, heads resting together and chests heaving, the only sounds filling the room was your dizzying panting.

Slowly, as your head returns from the clouds, you realise what you’ve done. The repercussions of having sex with Chris amongst this mess was only going to complicate things further. How do you tell Chris that you might want a divorce after doing that with him? How do you make an educated decision with that playing on your mind? This man consumes you, his love consumes you and you never want to lose it but are you just love-drunk, not seeing the bigger picture?

Chris brings you back to reality, helping you down off the violated countertop. You quickly redress, never giving Chris eye contact and staying silent. Your head spinning from the last hour; from arguing and screaming to fucking on the kitchen counter.

“Sweetheart, are you alright?” Chris says sheepishly.

You look at him and shake your head, muttering a ‘no’.

“Look Y/N, I know we said a lot of things we didn’t mean-”

“Chris, stop..” you cut him off, “I meant everything I said. This isn’t something we can dodge, we have to be truthful, our marriage is on the line and I really don’t think you understand that?”

“But.. I- We just..” Completely at a loss for words, Chris stays quiet.

“I think you should leave Chris.” You whisper as yet another tear falls from your eyes.

Chris just nods his head, noticeably shocked by your words. He quickly kisses your cheek before hurrying out the door. As soon as the door shuts, you collapse onto the wood floor. Feeling Chris over every part of you, you feel even more confused than earlier. Your mind and body clearly want Chris, so why isn’t it that easy for your heart to make that decision?

♡ Final Part: Healed Heart

Forever Tags: @itsscottiesstark @patzammit @partypoison00 @cynic-spirit @n3ssm0nique @sohoseb @madbaddic7ed @moonlacebeam@ilovetheeagles @beautifulrose0809 @lovelyladymayyy@tenaciousperfectionunknown @mysticapples17 @whxre4cevans @firoozehmoon [Please drop me a message if you’d like to become part of the taglist for this series or any of my work]

#shattered heart mini series #troubled heart #bewildered heart #chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans mini series #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #rpf #smut

206 notes · View notes

yourmidnightlover · 3 years

Text

three, four squeezes

Summary- spencer finds watches you take what he thought was your last breath. turns out they weren't, but you're now in a coma.

TW: coma, fem!reader, spencer pining, angst/fluff ig?, blood, gunshot

WC- 5,681

masterlist

————————————————————————

guilt.

regret.

pain.

fear.

spencer couldn't stop fiddling between as he rode with you in the back of the ambulance.

the guilt he felt as he realized that everything was his doing, his fault. if he wouldn't have froze and if he would've told you how he felt neither of you would be in this position.

the regret he had of never telling you how he felt. he never got to hold you as more than best friends and kiss you like he's wanted to so, so, so many times.

the pain of seeing you in so much pain. and the fear that worsened when you accepted the fact that you would die in his arms

the fear that the last time he held you was when you confessed your darkest secret to him. you never got to hear him tell you how much he truly loved you.

he took your much smaller hand in both of his and pressed it close to his chest, right on top of his heart as if he was trying to tell you what his heart had tried to make him.

he froze.

he shouldn't have froze.

he should've held you and told you how much he loved you. how much he wanted you. how much he's always wanted you.

he should've kissed you and never let you out of his sight. because maybe, just maybe, if he hadn't let you go then you would have never gotten hurt.

he was the reason you were dying.

he was lost in thought when the holter monitor held a steady, long beep. you had flatlined.

you felt the warmth radiating over your skin as you shifted in your position to sit up. you took in your surroundings.

you were in an endless pasture, filled with tall grass that would reach your knees if you had stood up. the sky was perfect, clear, baby blue color that you haven't seen in a while. you were laying on a red blanket with a picnic basket by your side.

the smell of fresh flowers and fresh grass filled your nose. the calming scent bringing you the peace that radiated around you as you observed further into this place.

you had on a flowy, pastel purple sun dress and a pair of white flats on. you turned your head to the side, only to notice you weren't alone.

"spencer!" you cheered excitedly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into your touch. "you're here," you breathed out.

"i am here," you felt the vibrations of his chuckle. "but you shouldn't be here."

you pulled back and looked at him confused. "wh-why not?"

"because," he pushed a strand of hair out of your face as he gazed into your eyes. "you need to go back, sweetheart."

a rush of memories flooded your brain.

you confessed your past, your regret, your love.

he didn't love you back.

you were shot.

"i... i don't want to go back," you admitted with furrowed brows. "i want to stay here. with you."

he looked at you with what seemed to be pity. he scooted closer to you and wrapped his arm around you to pull you closer to his body.

"you can be with me back there. you know that," he said as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

"no, i won't. not-" you took a deep breath, "not like this."

"but this isn't even real. i'm just a figment of your imagination. you're disassociating with your body, and i'm your safe place," he said nonchalantly, as if hearing that didn't break your heart even more.

"but i want to be with you, spence. i've ruined everything out there. you don't want me," you spilled, letting a tear slip past your eye and down your cheek.

"i will always want you, y/n. always," he assured you as he pressed a kiss to your hairline.

"how do you know?" you looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"because i'm a genius. remember, sweetheart?" he chuckled.

"promise me?" you said as you turned around and held his hand, squeezing it in anticipation.

"i promise. go back, y/n. you need to go back." he repeated.

"not yet. just a little longer with you, please. just a little longer with you," you pleaded.

spencer had to let go of your hand so the doctors could get the defibrillator. he began shaking before he told himself to be strong. he had to be strong for you.

"please don't leave me..." he prayed for the first time in a while to a god he wasn't even sure he believed in. "don't die on me."

one of the paramedics ripped your shirt open so they could begin to start the chest compressions. spencer hated seeing you so helpless, lifeless, hopeless.

"charge to 260!" one of the doctors yelled before yelling clear and connecting it to your skin.

nothing.

"charge to 350!" she pressed it to your chest and abdomen one more time.

suddenly the monitor began beeping steadily again. you were alive. not okay, but you were breathing.

you had a heartbeat again.

you weren't leaving him yet.

"oh thank god!" he exclaimed as he watched the paramedics leave your side, allowing him to fill their void. he took hold of your hand once again and pressed his lips to it as he watched the paramedic on the other side of you monitoring everything going on with your status.

"thank you, y/n. thank you so much," he placed another kiss on your knuckles as he used his to wipe his tears away.

when you had made it to the hospital he decided to finally call morgan and garcia. he would let them know what happened, minus the whole love confession part, and ask them to alert the rest of the team.

morgan replied in asking if she was okay, and asked for the details later when he got there. garcia was just rushing to get out of her apartment and to the hospital to check on her 'little cherry blossom.'

garcia got there first no doubt breaking a few speed limits in the process, but he didn't mind because now he wouldn't be alone with his own mind. she engulfed spencer in her arms and let him sob it out as she did the same. she didn't ask what happened, she knew he would tell her when he was ready.

morgan took a bit longer, surprisingly. although, in his defense, he did live on the other side of town. upon arrival, he just placed a firm hand on spencer's shoulder and sat beside him in a seat, silently providing his own comfort.

jj was next to arrive. she was already in tears when garcia had called her to make her aware of the news. she gave spencer a tight hug before sitting beside garcia.

when emily got there she raced to jj to ask if they had any information yet, they didn't. she checked on spencer, making sure he wasn't losing his mind completely. she finally settled down and sat beside jj, placing a comforting hand on top of hers.

rossi and hotch arrived at the same time, they were both working late, finishing a few extra case files. they went around comforting the rest of the team, and made sure to pay extra attention to spencer.

everyone knew how close the two of you were. you were like bonnie and clyde, but rather you both solved crime instead of ensuing it. and they knew how much it pained him to see her in pain. even on cases when she would get wounded, spencer would pay the utmost care and attention to you.

spencer didn't say a word. he didn't say what happened. nobody asked. they sat in silence, with almost constant tears from the fear of losing you, waiting for answers to how you were doing.

after a few more hours, jj decided to ask the doctor yet again on any updates on your condition. she quietly got up after letting go of emily's hand and walked over to the front desk.

"ma'am," jj asked the receptionist, "is there any update on y/n y/l/n and her surgery. it's been a few hours now and we're getting wo-"

"y/n y/l/n?" a doctor came into the waiting room holding a clipboard, waiting for someone to claim her company.

spencer jumped up from his seat when he heard her name. everyone had refrained from using in fear of striking something in spencer. they didn't want to upset him more than he already was, so they just kept their mouths shut.

"yes?" he excitedly asked, feeling the sweat in his hands and the exhaustion overwhelming his body.

"she's out of surgery now. she's in a stable condition, but there's some bad news," the doctor grimaced as the others waited expectantly for the rest of the news. "she had a prolonged period of time without oxygen to her brain, she's now in a coma. we aren't sure when she'll wake up," the doctor finally spewed out. "you can go visit her now. maybe one at a time so she can decipher who's who. she can hear what you say, so make it positive and encouraging," he concluded.

spencer looked back at the team, waiting for them to signal that he could go visit her before following the doctor to your room.

spencer walked inside and saw you lying there, lifeless while barely alive. and it was all his fault. you told him it wasn't his fault. in what you thought were your last moments, you wanted him to be at ease. while you were bleeding out from his stupidity, you still claimed your love that he never told you he returned.

and for that he would never forgive himself.

oh, what he would give to hear your laugh again. to see your smile, feel your touch, smell your hair once more. he wanted you back.

so he did the only thing he could do. he sat by your side and grabbed your hand for the millionth time and held it to his cheek, trying to feel your warmth.

"hi, y/n," he started off, deciding to give this whole 'encouragement' thing a try. "there are a lot of studies on whether or not someone can hear whilst their in a coma, but i'm going to try it anyway," he tool a deep breath.

"you're the strongest woman i know, and i meant it when i told you that earlier tonight. i know that you can get through this. i want you to know that i'll be here for you every step of the way. i promise. i-i'll take off every day until you wake up. i have to take a sabbatical anyway, so i can just ask them if i can take it early. if i can't then i'll make garcia come here every single day and i'll call her so you can hear my voice," the tears filled his eyes once again.

"i-i need you here with me, y/n. please," he begged for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"spence," jj called from the doorway. "would you mind if we all talked to her for a minute? then you can come back? i need to get back to my boys now that i know she's going to be okay," she said with a bit of guilt at the thought of her being able to go home.

home to her husband and children.

y/n has always wanted children. she'd be such an amazing wife, and an even better mother. spencer wanted the chance to witness her being a mother first hand, and maybe even being the mother to his own children.

he wanted to give her everything she's ever wanted. he wanted to stay with her until he was forced to have to leave.

truth be told, the day you walked into the bau, you changed his life forever and he didn't even know it. he thought it was just going to be another temporary fill in, until you performed so well at your job that the bau just had to hire you permanently.

you're so amazing at everything you do. everything you've ever done. you always push yourself to be and do your best, something spencer has grown to love and admire you for.

so he just hopes you have a reason to fight. a reason to fight for your life, to fight for him. he hopes that you have hope.

"yea, of course," he pressed his lips to your knuckles one more time before leaving the room, hugging jj on the way out.

garcia was right outside the door, waiting for spencer to come out so she could give him a hug. she wrapped her arms around his torso as his went around her shoulders.

"she's strong, spencer. she'll get through this," garcia tried to comfort him.

"you should've heard her. she-she sounded like she was ready to give up hen she was lying there, bleeding out on the ground," spencer pulled back to look at garcia. "i can't lose her. n-not now."

"you won't lose her," she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder before he nodded to her and walked back into the waiting room, being met by emily's own embrace.

"i'm not gonna tell you how strong she is, because i think we all know that by now. but you can talk to me, reid. that's what you have to know. you can talk to any of us," she consoled before pulling back, her hands still gripping his shoulders tightly.

"sh-she told me she was in love with me," he said out loud for the first time.

"what?" emily's eyes widened at the realization before she pulled his hand to go into an empty room. "explain, please?"

"she told me she was in love with me," he repeated. "and i froze," he sighed.

"you froze? what do you mean? i thought you loved her too?" she pondered, a confused look clouding her face.

"how'd you know that? and yea, i do love her. i love her so much it hurts," he looked down at his feet. "i didn't say it back because i couldn't believe it was happening. i-i mean have you seen her? she's the definition of perfect and she said she loves me."

"oh, spencer," she said before giving him another hug, allowing him to break down in her arms.

"she walked out after that," he grimaced. "when i started walking back to my place that's when i heard the gunshot and called the ambulance. then i noticed it was her and i broke. it's my fault she was out there. if i would've told her how i felt she would've been in my arms and safe. instead, she's in a coma because i was too confused to say anything," he vented.

"it's not your fault, reid. you have to know that," she said before pulling back. "it's the guy who shot her's fault. not yours. you didn't pull the trigger."

"i might as well have. she doesn't know how i'm in love with her," spencer whined, feeling more hopeless than he did when he was kidnapped and drugged.

because at least then, he knew the team would be coming for him.

but he didn't know if you ever wanted to come back.

when you were lying there, dying, it was like you were saying goodbye as he held you in his lap. his hands, pants, and even shirt were covered in your blood.

he hadn't even noticed. he didn't care to notice. you were the only thing on his mind. everyone else knew he wouldn't leave without knowing your condition, so they didn't bother telling him to go clean up. emily noticed him eyeing his own appearance.

"go change. i'll call you if we have any updates. relax, please. she's not going to leave you," emily said before shooing him away to clean up.

spencer went to his place to change quickly and take a shower after morgan gave him his hoodie to wear on the drive there. meanwhile, emily walked out into the waiting room and took notice of morgan in his own worry.

"she'll fight. we know she will," emily confirmed as she walked to sit beside him.

"i know she will, but i'm also worried about the kid," morgan moved his head out of his hands as he looked at emily. "he told me how he was in love with her. and i'm willing to bet this has something to do with that. he's been through so much, he doesn't deserve to lose another person in his life."

"i know, you're right. he doesn't deserve this, nobody does, but he especially doesn't deserve this," emily said as she put her hand over his back, rubbing it soothingly.

"i'm gonna see if i can have my turn talking to y/n," he stood up and walked to your room, taking notice of jj still inside and penelope waiting patiently.

he wrapped his arms around garcia and let her cry as jj finished up inside before exiting and saying her goodbyes to everyone, allowing penelope to have her turn to talk with you.

showering helped spencer more than he thought it would. being covered in your blood was more frightening than he thought, so seeing his own skin on his hands was much easier for him.

he drove himself back to the hospital, wanting to avoid more prying eyes of cab drivers taking notice of his obvious grief and panic.

when he walked inside, hotch was inside your room with rossi, despite the 'one-person-at-a-time' rule. he knocked on the outside of the doorframe, alerting the two of his presence.

"kid. hey," rossi came up to greet him, giving him a quick hug before hotch did the same.

"reid, we know how close you two are, so just know that she's probably fighting to get back to you, the rest of us too, but especially you," hotch declared with a pity grin.

"i hope you're right," he glanced back in the room to look at you. "i really hope you're right."

spencer walked back into your room after the two older men left. he scooted the chair closer to your bed and held your hand. he crossed his arms on top of your bed, your hand still in his, and laid his head down on his arms.

he waited.

and waited.

there was no progress.

he wanted you to come back to him. he wanted to feel your touch again and hear your laugh. he wanted to tell you how he felt. he just wanted you.

he was able to work at home on the few cases they received, and took his paperwork to your hospital room when he wasn't able to finish it as quickly as normal.

as the weeks went by, his hope began to dwindle, but his determination only grew. he was determined to be able to tell you how much he loved you while you were awake, so he refrained from spilling his guts while you were still unconscious.

he would read you books. your favorite books. the books you would ask him to read to you when you were feeling sad and wanted to hear his voice to calm you down.

he played your favorite songs. the songs you and him listened to on the way to work or to museums he would beg you to go to with him.

he even played chess with you. granted, he was more so playing himself acting as you. he would try to play whatever moves he felt you would play against him.

he cried with you. he cried for you to come back to him. he cried that you never stop fighting. he cried that he would get at least one more time to talk to you.

but one day the doctors noticed that you were able to breath on your own. they were able to take the tube out of your mouth and throat and nose. that was his hope. your strength was his hope.

he sped to the hospital that day, wanting to see you as soon as he could. it had been three weeks since the shooting, and he desperately needed the sight of your chest moving up and down voluntarily, a sign of your own breath breathing life into your body.

emily just nodded her head at him to go when he stormed into her office, she had received the same call seconds earlier.

when he came into your room, he as already in tears at the new progress. he brushed your hair out of your face and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"keep fighting, y/n/n. you're so close to coming back to me, to us, to the team. please keep going," he begged as he sat down by your side. "i got the call about you being able to breath on your own, and i ran into emily's office. she didn't even need to say anything, she knew it was you," he smiled momentarily.

"i can't wait to be able to hug you again, and feel your warmth again. i uhm, i never told you this, but we've kissed," he smiled at the memory. "it was that night you were drunk and told me about your parents. you had kissed me after i told you how beautiful and amazing you were, and how wrong your parents were. i kissed you back, too," he gently bit his lip at the confession. "i-i didn't tell you because... i shouldn't have kissed you back. god, i've always wanted to kiss you, but not when you were drunk and vulnerable. i felt like i took advantage of you, and i hated that i did that to you. so, i never told you," he frowned at the hidden secret.

"but please, please, please come back to me. please let me kiss you for real this time. let me tell you how i feel, and hold you forever and ever. please just don't leave me. i won't be able to take that, y/n. i know how selfish that is, but i can't live without you. these past few weeks without hearing your voice has been hell," he frowned.

he had called your phone every day since the shooting just to hear your voice on the voicemail. those 29 words have been one of the things he's loved listening to when he woke up. he'd never admit it, but you'd realize it once you checked your phone.

another thing he loved doing was look through his videos of you. in one particular video, maybe even his favorite, you had taken his phone and began recording him on it.

you knew he hated his own appearance, although you'd never understand why, so you secretly took his phone and began recording him.

"hey spence! can you come here?" you called as you were in the living room, waiting for him to bring you your chicken tandoori.

"yup! i'm coming!" he came racing out with the two boxes of takeout, giving you one as he sat on the couch. he didn't even notice the phone with how you placed it in your hands.

"thanks handsome," you teased, although you meant every word you said. his face automatically blushed at the compliment, but he rolled his eyes nonetheless.

"oh, shut it," he said before stuffing a piece of chicken in his mouth. you giggled at his reaction, his favorite sound in the world.

"never. i don't know why you think you aren't attractive. you're so beautiful, spence, i'm surprised you don't already have a special someone," you nudged him with your elbow, the phone now being rested against your thigh to get a perfect view of him. you could see the smile he tried to hide by biting his lip gently.

"but i guess that does mean i get to spend more time with you, so i won't object," you laughed out before finally taking a bite of the food.

spencer noticed the phone on your thigh after you took a bite, his eyes widening at what he realized you were doing.

"y/n! why were you recording me?!" he exclaimed, trying to grab the phone and succeeding. he turned the camera on to you as you began laughing loudly at his reaction. "what do you have to say for yourself, ma'am?" he questioned.

your smile was brighter than ever, your face red from all the laughing. you were wearing one of spencer's sweaters, your favorite one. you had taken a couple because 'they're cozier' than yours. you put your hands up in surrender.

"i guess you caught me, hot stuff," you laughed before he placed the phone down and began his tickle attack on you. "ahhh! spencerrrr! please!" you laughed out. "i surrender!" tears of laughter were streaming down your face.

"fine. i think you've paid your penance," he joked before grabbing the phone and turning the camera on only you once again, you blushing from the action. "y'know you're really beautiful, right?" you smiled widely at his confession, sensing the sincerity in his voice.

"thank you, spencer. so are you, truly beautiful," you smiled even wider before he finally turned the camera off.

he remembers that day like it was yesterday. he'd like to claim it was because of his eidetic memory, but it was also because of you.

you had gotten the weekend off and decided to spend it together, once again. you had stayed the night with him all weekend, you insisted on sleeping on the couch to which he objected, forcing you to take the bed with him.

you had woken up cuddled in each others arms, facing each other like you had been hugging the whole night. spencer felt the most content he had ever felt in that moment, never wanting to let you go or wake you, so he waited for you to wake up.

that was the best weekend he's had in a while. you two acted as if you were in a relationship, domestic. it was delightful.

there was another picture the two of you had taken after a rather successful case.

all the missing children were found safe, a rare occurrence, so you had gone out to a bar to celebrate. it was mostly emily, morgan, and garcia's doing, so you had all eventually agreed once you figured out they wouldn't back down.

you had known how spencer was at bars, he was sometimes rather uncomfortable with all of the people. it made him anxious and a bit intimidated. so after you had all met up at the bar and you noticed how nervous he was, you intertwined your arms and took his hand in yours.

"my mom used to do this thing when i was anxious or nervous to calm me down," you whispered, wrapping your other arm around his one as you squeezed his hand three times. "it's supposed to be our way of assuring the other. a way of saying i'm here," you explained before he squeezed four times in return, your brows furrowed. "what does that mean?"

"i-it could mean i'm glad you're here," he grinned as he noticed the smile that erupted on your face from his kind words.

and you didn't let go all night.

"please come back to me, i know you can. you're so strong, please just come back to me," spencer wailed. he felt your hand squeezing his as he held it, making his encouragement the entire reason you came back to him.

"spence, you're making a mess," you giggled, wiping the corner of his lip free of the chocolate you two were eating, still in that heavenly place.

"i'm sorry! it just tastes really good," he smiled back as he watched you lick the chocolate from your thumb.

"mm, you're right. it does taste really good," you nodded your head. "so i'm taking all of them!" you grabbed the box full of chocolate and began running. looking back to see spencer chasing after you, you bursted into a fit of laughter.

the tall grass tickled your legs slightly, the breeze lifting your dress a tiny bit as you continued to jog ahead of him, teasing him with your laughter. he finally caught up with you, taking you down with him as you both giggled.

“you got me, dork,” you laughed, pushing his shoulder lightly.

“of course i do! did you expect anything less?” he said arrogantly, you rolled your eyes.

“never from you, doctor,” you teased as he pulled you in closer to him, you nuzzled your face into his neck as he admired the view around him. suddenly he stood up, the chocolate box in hand, and began running.

“you little tease!” you shouted before getting up to chase him as he did you previously. “spencer reid, you’re so gonna get it!” you laughed out

"don’t leave me," he turned around to face you and called out, suddenly you felt a pang in your stomach where you had been stabbed.

you made eye contact with him, a look of shock and horror on your face as you tried to figure out what was wrong before you collapsed to the ground.

"sp-spencer? what's happening?" you asked as he pulled you into his lap.

"it's been two weeks y/n, i-i miss you." he began. "i know you're right here with me, but i miss your voice. and your laugh-"

"spencer i'm right here. i was just laughing with you," you tried to interrupt his monologue.

"and i miss the way your hair would crowd my face as we slept and how it would make me wake up. i miss hugging you and-"

"spencer please, i'm here," you cried, squeezing his hand as hard as you could to signify your presence.

"please come back to me, i know you can. you're so strong, please just come back to me."

"y/n! can you hear me?!" he exclaimed, you squeezed his hand once more, a little tighter than the last time. "oh my god! oh thank you so much, y/n," he cried as he kissed your knuckles once more, your fingers twitching in the process.

"doctor. we need the doctor!" he said as he pressed the nurse's button. "she's squeezing my hand. her fingers started twitching!" he said excitedly as the nurse entered, exiting to get the doctor.

you squeezed his hands three times, him returning with four times. you understood what he meant. his eyes were trained on your face and he saw as your lips twitched upwards in a smile.

the doctor came in to perform a few tests and forced him to release your hand. he asked you to squeeze his hand once more, you followed suit. the doctor noticed your nose twitching and neck beginning to turn.

"she's gaining control over her body again. this was predicted once we found out she could breath on her own, we just didn't think it'd happen this quickly. a recovery this soon after removing the tube is almost unprecedented," he said in awe of your strength.

"she's the strongest person i know. it's no surprise that she's recovering this fast," spencer said as he took hold of your hand again.

"indeed. she should regain full control over herself within a few hours or by overnight at this point. go easy on her, she's still recovering from being shot. i also need to observe the bullet hole on her stomach, but you could stay for that if you'd like." spencer nodded as the doctor raised the hospital gown.

there was deep bruising around the bullet hole and a scab over top. your stomach looked smaller than it had the last time he'd seen it, a result from you having to be fed through a tube. you were unbelievably pale, no surprise there either because of the lack of sunlight.

"it's healing nicely, the scab looks healthy and the bruising is getting better. she's a fighter, this one," he smiled at spencer.

"you have absolutely no idea," he said, not breaking his eyes from your beautiful face.

the doctor left swiftly after charting her vitals and giving her a shot of her vitamins. spencer sat back down in the chair and held your hand once again, waiting for you to fully wake up so you could once again be in each others' arms.

later that day, at around 11:50, your entire body began shifting. spencer sat up straight away, trying to held you in any way possible.

"that's it, y/n! come on, you can do it, y/n/n," he cheered you on, smiling so hard he felt his eyes prick with tears. you turned onto your side, towards spencer, and your eyes had began to twitch open.

"sp-spencer?" you questioned once your eyes were fully open.

"yea, yes. it's me. i'm here. i'm right here," he wrapped his arms around you, adjusting his grip after you grimaced from his tight hold. "i'm never leaving. i'm never letting you leave again," he ranted out, placing a hand on the back of your head as you wrapped the arm that didn't have an iv around his body, pushing your head to nuzzle into his neck.

"i'm so sorry. i never should've left you there," you cried into his arms.

"it's okay, y/n. it's not your fault at all," he soothed as his hand started stroking your hair gently. "i'm so glad you came back to me. thank you so much," he sighed as he gently placed a kiss on your head."

"you really think i would go that easily? i thought you knew me better than that, dumbo," you laughed out.

"i'm glad to see you still have that sense of humor in you," spencer scoffed, followed by a bright smile.

"oh that's not going anwhere, spencer. and neither am i."

@averyhotchner @greenprisca @muffin-cup

#spencer reid fluff #spencer #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst

337 notes · View notes

witch-hazels-musings · 3 years

Note

I'm not sure if you would be comfortable writing this or not but could I request the reader comforting Diluc through a panic attack? Like his past comes back to him and he breaks down and the reader comforts him?

Panic Attack

^ take deep breaths, acknowledge the attack for what it is, find an object to ground yourself, focus on it, describe it in your head, relax one part of your body at a time, breathe, breathe

Warning -> trigger warning possible*** - panic attack

Diluc X GN Reader | Anthology

Diluc knew what it felt like to slip below the surface of panic and dissociation, he experienced for weeks after the murder of his father. Any time he looked at his hands, the sensation of striking him down came flooding back, the oppressive weight of guilt and trauma resting on his chest

It became such a common thing that the maids often had items close at hand to help him come back to reality, he could remember the kind hands of the maids gripping tightly around his as he curled into a ball on the floor, their calming voices reaching him even through the darkest moments

Those attacks had become less and less common as time separated him from the act he’d never be able to take back, the act he’d never forgive himself for

Still, he wasn’t immune from their torture, and sometimes they found their way back into his life and stole away his control

It came on suddenly, he wasn’t sure what started it but the familiar sensation began to creep up his spine, constrict the muscles around his sternum, and press against his lungs which felt thick and slow. Sweat began to collect in the center of his chest, around the base of his neck, his back, and arms. He felt so cold, even in the warm weather, and the beating of his heart was jarring. It was as if his heart was trying to tear itself away from the veins which connected to it and as quickly as the symptoms began, all rational thought escaped him, and fear set in.

The items he’d been holding onto fell from his hands and hit the floor with a loud thud. He tried to focus his eyes on any one of those items but his vision became fuzzy, his head dizzy from lack of oxygen. He felt hopeless and alone, and those two emotions molded with his fear making everything worse.

He tried to call out for help but his voice was strained and quiet, his neck tensed as the muscles in his body began to lock up and the weight pressing against his chest became so extreme he was certain it was a heart attack. Someone … anyone … he pleaded and just as he thought his pleas went unheard you appeared in the doorway.

“Diluc!?” You rushed toward him, your hands gripping each of his shoulders and doing your best to hold him upright.

“ … can’t … breathe …” He managed to squeeze out and tried to motion to his lungs but the fingers which were normally so easy to move were locked in place, curled inward and stiff.

“You’re having a panic attack. Hold on.” You let go of him and without your support, he fell to the ground. Right before his torso collided with the hard floor, you slid underneath him and captured him in your arms. He knew he was heavy and was sure you’d have a bruise from where he landed on you.

His head pounded and made it so difficult to see, he just wanted to breathe normally and because he couldn’t get enough air he felt his already non-existent composure slipping.

The strain on his throat made it impossible for him to speak. If he had any control over his body he’d be angry, furious at it for bringing him back to the crumbling, weak man he was all those years ago. He couldn’t even focus on the fact that you were repositioning yourself under him and doing your best to keep him upright.

“I know it’s scary. I’m right here. Listen to the sound of my voice.” You cupped his face in your hand and did your best to still the tremors which ran through his body. “Look right here.” You pointed at the necklace which rested around against your chest and he did his best to focus his eyes on it but it was fuzzy and unclear. “That’s right, just keep your eyes there.”

You rested your hand against his chest, working your way underneath his clenched hands. The touch of your palm somehow reassuring, even against the unbelievable pressure of his chest.

“I know it’s hard and you feel out of control, we will start slow. Keep looking at my necklace and take in a deep breath.” You inhaled and made sure your breath was audible. His attempt was unsteady and painful, but he gave it a try. “Good job, Diluc, now let it out. You’re safe, I’m right here.” He let out the breath and closed his eyes. “Okay, again, take a deep breath in.”

You continued to instruct him to breathe, making sure to demonstrate the process each time. He was already feeling more in control of his body and even attempted to stretch out his fingers, their tense and unresponsive movements frustrating him.

“There you go. Let’s try to relax your muscles.” You took your time, every step of the process you instructed him, your voice calm even if your face seemed stressed and worried.

You held him as best as you could; he could tell that you were getting tired as your arms were starting to shake, but you still supported him. You stroked his face and ran your fingers through his hair. When his body was back under his control, he lifted himself from your lap, his breathing slower but his heart still beating hard, and pulled you against his chest. He took in your smell, the perfect combination of his favorite scents that made him feel at home, that made him feel safe.

“That was scary.” You laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

“You have no idea …” He squeezed tighter around you and the two of you stayed connected this way the sound of busy maids working below drifted into the room. Their voices added to the comfort and security but were nowhere near the level of comfort your body provide pressed against his.

#genshin impact #genshin impact X reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact musings #genshin impact fiction #diluc X reader #diluc #genshin diluc #diluc ragnvindr #genshin impact diluc #hazelmail

439 notes · View notes

starglow-xx · 3 years

Text

retrouvaille

nakajima atsushi x f!reader

fandom: bungou stray dogs

content: hurt comfort, fluff

warning! : mentions of abuse

type of work: one-shot

synopsis: he left the orphanage, and that meant he had to leave you too; fortunately, this time, it seems like the universe was on your side

a/n: this is kinda self indulgent bc ive been feeling kinda down lately...?? and this has been sitting in my drafts for a while now and i havent posted in a while so killing three birds w/ one stone ig

the word retrouvaille is a french noun...

The moment you stepped foot into the armed detective agency, heterochromia eyes met your (e/c) ones.

You notice several agents talking and walking over to assist you, but you drown them out only having focus on the gray haired male ten feet away from you.

Said male takes a small step forward with uncertainty and disbelief laced in his voice.

“(y-y/n)...?”

At the sound of your name, your eyes immediately begin to water and with pure relief in your voice, you softly sob his name; the name of the boy who comforted you when you were both still in that wretched place.

“Atsushi...”

With all hesitation gone, Atsushi runs over to you shoving through his surprised and confused coworkers and wraps his arms tightly around you.

The force of the hug causes the both of you to stumble and harshly crash to the ground beneath you.

But the two of you didn’t care.

In his arms was a person Atsushi thought he’d never be able to see again.

In his arms was the same girl who snuck him food from the kitchens, the girl who stole medical supplies from the infirmary to treat his wounds, to take care of him when he was sick, and the girl who received punishment after punishment for insisting on staying with him inside his damn cell.

You gave him happiness in place where he should’ve never been able to receive it.

As if he ever felt like he deserved it in the first place.

You’re too good for him, but yet you still chose him.

You, his sweet and kind, his so very kind, and so very beautiful girlfriend, chose him, the cursed, good for nothing orphan.

The orphanage staff treated you considerably better before the two of you were acquainted, so Atsushi knew he was the problem. That he was the reason why tears would fall onto your beautiful face, why bruises and scars would litter your arms and legs, and why the staff would call you awful, degrading nicknames about you and or your virtue.

He had always thought that he wasn’t good for you, that he didn’t deserve you, that you could do better, but you stayed by his side regardless of his fears and insecurities, and provided him the strength and comfort he had always been deprived of.

And to his very surprise, he found that you found your own strength and comfort in him.

So he knew that you must of cried for weeks after he was kicked out, that you must’ve been devastated to wake up one morning only to learn that he was gone without a trace.

There wasn’t a single day that he never thought of you.

Atsushi wanted to go back for you, he really did; he wanted to storm into the orphanage with members of the armed detective agency, his new family, right at his tail before eventually reuniting with you.

But he didn’t do that.

Ultimately, he chose to leave you out of the mess that came with his job knowing that you would be eventually targeted and used against him if anyone found out about what he had with you.

So he kept quiet.

No mafioso, government agent, foreign organization, nor agency member had a clue about your connection with him, much less your existence.

He told himself that when things have calmed down by a considerable amount, he would go back and get you, with or without the agency backing him up.

Unfortunately, he knew that time of peace was far from the present.

But to see you, in your beautiful glory, standing at the threshold of the agency?

His original plan to keep you away from Yokohoma flew out the damn window.

At the sight of you, his heart did backflips and his legs almost gave out.

Ignoring the jelly feeling in his legs and the loud pounding of his heart, he raced around the desks and his coworkers—nearly fully crashing into Dazai in the process—to once more engulf you into his arms.

As for you?

When you saw him, you felt like you were going to pass out.

Your legs grew weak, your entire body was shaking, and tears started to fall down your face.

He was here.

He was safe and he was alive.

You mourned his abrupt disappearance from the orphanage and spent most of your time worrying about his well being.

The staff thought you were pathetic, that you sulked and cried over someone who they thought should disappear off the face of the earth.

They could insult and beat you all you want, but you drew the line when it came to Atsushi.

Finally having enough of everything, you planned your escape.

You were patient; you never jumped the gun nor gave anything away. You planned everything to the very last, minute detail, and after a few more months of abuse and waiting, you put your plan into action and left in the dead of night.

Thankfully, a kind old couple took you after you had collapsed in the streets. You worked job after job after job to return everything they had spent on your behalf even after they had told you not to worry about it.

And after another few weeks, you finally caught wind of your lost boyfriend tracking him down to Yokohoma through an old newspaper article.

Knowing your boyfriend, and yourself, you knew that tears would easily escape both of your eyes due to the long duration of your separation, but you weren’t expecting to find yourself crashing onto the floors of the armed detective agency curtesy of Atsushi.

But, you wouldn’t have it any other way because in your arms was the boy who gave you comfort during the most darkest days in the orphanage, the boy who laid you in his lap or on his stomach stroking your hair so you would fall asleep, and the boy who often threw himself in front of you so you would remain unharmed.

You choked on your sobs as you tightened your own hold on him and they gradually grew louder as you buried your face into the shoulder of his white button up.

Through his own choked sobs and teary eyes, Atsushi gently maneuvered the two of you so that you would be lying on his stomach—a familiar position the two of you would lay in back in the orphanage.

He gently stroked his fingers through your hair and softly rubbed your back as he whispered the familiar sweet nothings into your ears.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

“I’m okay, you’re okay, we’re okay...”

“I’m here, just let it all out..”

Overwhelmed with your emotions, his sweet words only started to make you cry more.

You’ve missed him so much.

Your tears easily soaked his both his shirt and his neck, and you tried to speak only for you to choke up. Atsushi simply just started to shush you—as you would to a baby—and placed a kiss to your forehead as he continued to comfortingly stroke your hair and rub your back.

With the both of you off into your own little world, a world consisting only of the two of you, reactions and looks from the Armed Detective Agency went unnoticed.

It didn’t take long for them to realize the kind of relationship you and Atsushi had.

But what surprised them was Atsushi’s behavior.

The young adult they knew tended to be unsure of everything, including himself, and stammered whenever he was nervous.

But the young adult currently in front of them had this new aura of maturity; he didn’t hesitate to touch you or to comfort you, and for the first time they’ve seen in a while, he was sure of himself; he wasn’t nervous at all.

With the amount of comfortability Atsushi had around you, and the tender, loving care he showered you in, it was clear that you certainly were someone special to their tiger.

Your sobs slowly turned to small hiccups, and Atsushi’s face turned to one of pure tranquility and content, having his lover back in his arms.

Although having calmed down, what Atsushi said to you next made you want to start bawling all over again.

“I’m sorry I left you, and I promise I didn’t forget about you,” he whispered softly, “I thought of you every day. I still do. The thought of being able to see you again is what kept me going.”

You buried yourself further into his shoulder as you gripped his white button up in your hands.

“And thanks to the armed detective agency, I’m stronger now. I won’t let anybody hurt you, not anymore. That, I promise you.”

Actually taking a look up from you, Atsushi ended up locking eyes with Dazai, who had a gentle look on his face.

His senior only closed his eyes, tilted his head down softly, and lightly chuckled before opening his brown eyes once more, giving Atsushi a look of approval.

The gray haired teen’s eyes widened slightly as he looked around the room only to be met with similar looks of approval and gentleness from his seniors and coworkers.

He felt his eyes tear up again, but instead let out a relieved sigh as he tightened his hold on you slightly.

“Hey Atsushi...” you softly murmured.

Equally as soft, he answered, “Yes (y/n)?”

“...I love you...”

Your lover smiled before placing another kiss onto your forehead.

“I love you too (y/n)”

At last, the girl he loved was back in his arms, and the boy you loved was back within your reach.

And neither of you were ever going to let each other go again.

and it means, the joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation, a rediscovery

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

176 notes · View notes

fromgwentopeter · 2 years

Text

Uncertainty.

Words: +2k

Warnings: Mild spoilers for NWH ✒︎ Matt Murdock x Stark!F!reader ✒︎ pure fluff ✒︎ I fear I made Matt Murdock too soft, but considering it's the first time I write about him, I'm not too shabby myself, huh?

Summary: Sometimes hope just leaves us with nothing but a shattered reality, but perhaps, a small talk in the middle of the night can change what one had thought should be?

Every single night, she feared --has feared-- ever since she can remember.

Just like being alone in the middle of the darkest room; feeling like a young child again, seeking comfort between the sheets of her bead but finding nothing but air... cold --big-- air.

It was re-living what once had been when she was younger, in a house, so so big, it was as if she wasn't there. Her companion being nothing but an artificial mind.

The small traces of a life everyone would dream to have; but all because they didn't have the whole picture.

Love truly had always proved itself to be at long reach; far away from her. The memories of being a treasured child were sometimes the only thing keeping her alive, but the rest of the unholy doing of the world put her down like a dog under the rain.

She always wished for more --hoped of it every day--, so when she finally had it, right in the palm of her hand, some thing or another would take it away.

So what else was there to lose?

Abso-fucking-lutely everything...

ℳℳℳ

The apple cinnamon steam that reached her nostrils through the chilly scenery failed to bring her comfort on this dark hour.

3:33 am

She hummed in amusement, as she glanced at her wrist-watch, taking a sip of the tea that she had re-heated almost five times now.

...That was the hour at which the devil reached his home.

A whistle trailed through every tile on the floor, every tapestry; every crook there was on the ceiling. Purple lighting washed the living room and kitchen, just like an art show being displayed across her eyes. But the main piece had decided to just make its appearance. A surprise act.

There was nothing of surprise at the looks of him. Her stomach churned just as her eyeballs scanned his entire person.

"You really outdid yourself this time, Murdock,"

Murdock...

He chuckled, sliding through the window and falling to the ground.

There was a note in the air. Full of static.

Matt was not expecting for her to help him tonight, no... Not after all the things he had done to her; after all the times he had left her planted, or thinking that maybe he had finally given his final punch and his body was out there somewhere, leaking all the blood he had drained from his victims.

"I was not expecting you here,"

Lie

"Mhm, you knew I was here from a block away,"

She... she was like a drug that consumed him whole. Some feel more than others, some think more, but her... She was an enigma that deciphered him when he could not.

He could hear her steady heartbeat.

Pump.

Pump...

It made him remember when he had a victory at court; how she and his associates went out for a drink to celebrate the victory... and how, in a friendly game of pool, his hand brushed with hers.

Impossible to ignore the slight jump of her heart, and how it never returned to its normal pace afterwards.

It made him laugh, considering how she whole-heartedly believed his blindness was fatal.

Everything was different now.

Matt sighed, giving her that cheeky grin of his.

"You know me so well," and he rose from the ground; leaving stains of blood on the squeaky wooden tiles. He caught on to the sharpness of her next breath --even as subtle, he knew how she was shutting her eyes closed. He was expecting to feel that urge from her... that urge of always walking to him; wrapping him into one of her warm hugs, and walk him to the couch... But her feet never left the ground. They stood there place, just like he had seem to do some time ago.

But he craved to feel her lips on his beaten-up knuckles. Each one of them, one by one, she would kiss them; telling him they would heal, offering the comfort she always said she barely had in her crumbling life...

He just wanted to have her be his, even if it was just for tonight.

And he was reminded --scolded, that those were selfish thoughts. She didn't need him, and less now than before; when the sky seemed to crack open and bring nothing but misfortunes. She was her own person, and even if she didn't know it now, he did. But he never said anything, and that was his and his mistake only.

Step by step, his body eventually fell to the couch. His mouth left out a shaky sigh, as he removed his helmet from his head; feeling how the blood on his face had dried around it.

"Would you be... so kind... as to pass me the box on the counter?" Matt breath out with effort, hearing the slight friction of her clothes and the settling of her mug on the kitchen's bar.

So she did... There was no need to be a torturer and not allow Matt to do what he will considering the state he was in.

He mumbled a 'thank you', feeling how her stare burned down his entire shape; the way she bit her lip and how her head shook.

"So no help tonight?" He was hoping that, with his words --with his dimply smile-- there would be some sort of relief, but on the contrary, she couldn't believe it.

"No, Matt," Her hands ran through her face, and consequently, the silence that befell them had never felt so loud.

His tattered hands opened the box, slowly, almost waiting for it to plead for it; but he didn't posses that force tonight.

The more the time went, the farer away he felt from her... his apartment was flooded, and surely, the tide was delicately tracing every memory, every heartbeat, everything, and submerging those with it.

Matt was so taken aback, by her touch...

Her hand on his stomach, as she observed the stab wound and the bruises forming around it, her fingers brushing with his face as she removed the hair away from his eyes...

Maria Stark had always had a soft spot for heroes, apparently... vigilantes, more so... and there was no one to deny that willing help she always carried around with her. If she saw someone on the ground --helpless-- she wouldn't just stick around and watch... even if it was the right thing to do.

She could, with her presence, just make it better... for him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling her fire silhouette shiver; hearing her heartbeat accelerate in frustration.

"Yeah? Of what?"

Matt chuckled, "that's a trick question you know I won't answer right now,"

Maria hummed, the alcohol-soaked cotton ball she was holding suddenly pressing on Matt's abdomen wound, making him hiss.

"If not now, when?" Her voice was as cold as her hands, getting to deep into his body and soul. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a good reason."

"Well, then... enlighten me, sweetheart," Matt mocked, making her swallow hard.

The motion which had been reached was interrupted with his cockiness; with the stubbornness --with the reminder of...

"You remind me so much of him, it's incredible,"

Maria stood up, breathing harshly and reaching the other side of the room. She was enclosured between this four walls of reminders... Of things she had gotten attached to when she thought giving herself another opportunity was fair... When the thought of feeling something was more than enough. But why with him?

Her train of thoughts carried on; making Matt feel the weight of her fractured heart.

Pump, pump...

"During the blip, I barely had anyone. And it's ironic, because I could be considered one of the lucky ones, you know?--" Her voice trembled, leaving patterns of uncertainty all around the place. "But after it... after the snap, I was lost.

"Absolutely everything was going downhill for me; from Spider-Man's incident to the sue on Stark Industrie's."

Matt listened, knowing exactly where this conversation was going, which made him scold himself again. You're being self-absorbed, Matthew, Goddamit.

"But so there appeared you. With your quick remarks, and your dripping-off confidence; with your cleverness and your smoothness at court... With that innocent façade of you --blind and courageous--

"It seemed forever since I ever felt so fond of someone who can't even look at himself in the mirror and know why every lady and man out there crave for a piece of him."

"I don't--, Maria--"

It all went back, to those misty nights she would talk to the devil on top of his building. Having formed quite the instinct, and not soon after finding out that Matt --the man who claimed himself a debut Catholic and a man of the law-- the man who had slowly but surely stolen her heart... was non other than Daredevil.

Seemed like knowing that other half of himself was just the breaking cord, and though she tried to make it last, he had other plans...

"All you ever do is give me mixed signals," He heard her near, tower over him as her sight made his skin set on fire.

Her voice trembled, now nothing more than a mere whisper.

"But you also gave me hope,"

She cradled his face with her hands; making him sigh as the coldness made his palpitating bruises ease down. His own hands settled on top of hers, leaving blood smeared across her pallid skin.

"You know what I've done," Matt whispered, feeling the warmth of her breath close to his face. "And I don't think you deserve that in your life."

Maria snickered, brushing her fingers across his stubble.

He smiled at the feeling.

"I've spent my entire life hearing that," Maria said, removing her hands from his face and instead placing them on his heart. "And I know you defer from your words, Murdock." She grinned, feeling the fastened beating of his heart.

There's always something that troubles the human being. Sometimes, we tend to fall into old habits --bad habits-- just for the sake of feeling again, but we forget what we have in front of us all the time.

Is it a crime that one, to try and be careless? Perhaps self-regarding?

"I hope you do not fall in love with me, For I am falser than vows made in wine." His soft voice whimpered, feeling an ache between his ribs. "'Shakespeare never lies'. You said that to me once."

She nodded.

"But I'm not always right," Maria stood, going to the kitchen and damping a rag. "And if it eases your mind, I know you are not a bad person either..."

There it fell again, her words, penetrating his skull while he knew it should be him who was telling her that.

"How do you know I'm not a bad person?"

Because I don't...

Maria cleaned his cuts, being careful and patient, for the last thing she wanted was to hurt him.

"Because you try to be," She sighed, sliding the rag on the marks the helmet left. "Because you feel regret. Because you know you've messed up countless of times... Because you love...

"But you keep saying that... 'I don't deserve'. Then what, Matt? Are you unworthy of being alive? Of having people worry for you? You can't push me away just because of that fleeting sensation. I am here because I want to. I am here because I choose you."

And one can't never be sure enough, so she leant in closer; fanning him with her breath, her nose etching millimeters away from his. He could smell the perfume she always wore; making him wonder, if it was just for him to recognize.

His lips found hers first, not being able to resist the feelings inside of him.

It was like a dance; one which they had known for long now. It felt safe --sweet. Her sugary taste sent him marveling; the scent of apple and just a bit of cinnamon traveled through his veins...

"You give me hope too," he breath as they broke apart. His hand cradling the side of her face. She snuggled closer to it. "But I can't seem to stop pushing you away."

"So I'll help you stop,"

"I don't want you to get hurt,"

"Matt--"

He heard her laugh. A genuine, positive laugh which always had his toes curling.

She grasped his hand, bringing it close to her mouth.

"Who are you talking to, Matty?" She said while tickling his hand with her nose. "I grew up with Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. The same man who was unable to keep his identity a secret because of his egotistical manners. I fought a purple alien from space who was way too attached to his stones, and survived... It took long, but... here I am, with you, and I know it's the last chance I can find myself at home --at ease..."

He felt her grasp soften. And it took her a while before speaking, so he did first.

"We can work together out of this one," and he pulled her closer by the hand she was still holding. "And I swear, that I'll try to stop for you."

Maria frowned, "I can't be the reason why you change. This has to be for yourself, Matty. Only for yourself,"

He hummed.

"Well then, so be it. I'm an adult right? I can practically do whatever I want," He smirked, making her snicker. "I respect you too much to be such a burden. So I'll ask...

"Would you, please, have a bath with me?"

Maria hummed with amusement, "you'd break, so I'll just patch you up, and take you to bed, bad boy," She mused, slowly pecking each one of his knuckles.

Matt felt like for a change, maybe this could work.

Masterlist

#matt murdock #spider man #marvel #iron man #tony stark #stark!reader #daredevil #avengers #thanos #mcu spoilers

24 notes · View notes