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desiredmalfoy · 3 years

Text

Love Lost (D.M. x Reader)

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Universe: No Voldy but still pain in this story.

Genre: Angst! And more Angst!

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: The reader feels like she’s losing Draco to Astoria. Does he still love her? Will he fix it?

Warning: Some bad words? Not too many.

{Draco Masterlist} { Main Masterlist }

(Credit to the gif owner)

I was in a mood for angst today lol. After having writers block for so long I finally came up with this. Hopefully I can finish my wips, ships and requests soon! Let me know if you want a part 2

You usually didn’t have a problem with any of Draco’s friends. Sure, some of them could be real idiots but for the most part they were nice to you. But you had recently ran into a problem, and her name was Astoria Greengrass. She was Daphne’s little sister who painfully obviously had a crush on your boyfriend. You hated seeming like an over jealous girlfriend, so you didn’t know how to truly react to this.

He had begun to spend more time with her after she had practically begged him for help in potions. She had come up to him in the common room when you were studying and pleaded with him for help. Her eyes seemed to sparkle when he finally agreed.

He seemed reluctant at first but ultimately agreed. He had said to you, “I’m only helping her so that she doesn’t tell her parents I refused. Last thing I need is my parents' comments.”

It had started innocent, he would help her twice a week in the library. As the weeks progressed, they were hanging out more and more often. He would finish quidditch practice and then meet her in the common room. Telling you that he would see you later but later never came.

He had even forgotten one of your dates. He apologized profusely and promised to make it up to you. He didn’t, he forgot too.

One date became two and then you lost count. You were tired of being disappointed.

You had walked into the common room after spending the evening studying with Pansy. All your friends had gotten together to study for an upcoming potions exam. All except Draco who didn’t show up. After walking in, that’s when you saw the two of them sitting in a corner table of the common room. You felt your stomach drop. Your mouth began to dry up and it felt sticky. You didn’t know how to react.

“What an arse”, Pansy mumbled to you. She reached for your hand to give it as squeeze. Letting you know she’s there for you. She had heard you complain all the time, she knew the pain you felt. And she was over seeing you getting walked over.

“Oh looks who’s here (y/n)! We finally found him!” Pansy exclaimed dramatically. This caused the two of them to break from their world and turn to the two of you.

“What do you mean Parkinson?” Draco asked, breaking the silence in the room. The air felt stifling. Astoria only looked up at you and Pansy, not making a comment.

“We were all meant to study together.” Pansy answered bluntly. “Did you forget that too Malfoy?”

“What the bloody hell do you mean?”

“You seem to forget everything as of late” You got the courage to speak up suddenly, beating Pansy. You glanced over at her as she gave you an encouraging look.“ I mean you always seem to forget our dates.”

The lump in your throat grew more and more by the second.

“Babe I-”

“I’m getting quite tired. It’s been a long steady session. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” You interrupted him, stopping him before he spoke. You had enough of this and the last thing you needed was for them to see you cry.

You let go of Pansy's hand and adjusted the strap of your bag. You made your way towards your dorm, trying to get out of there as fast as possible.

You walked into your dorm, slamming it shut. You threw your book bag across the room. Letting out some of the anger you felt. You grabbed a pillow from your bed and threw it at the door. You threw yourself onto your bed, frustrated beyond belief. The door opened and revealed the last person you wanted to see.

“What are we exactly”, you asked bluntly as he walked into your dorm. Draco looked at you confused as he looked towards you.

“What do you even mean?”

“I mean I don’t feel like your girlfriend anymore.” You rolled your eyes at his lack of comprehension. “You barely want to be around me it seems. I haven’t seen you in days Draco but you know who has? Astoria.”

“Don’t be bloody ridiculous (y/n). She’s my friend and nothing more. You’re overreacting.” It was his turn to roll his eyes at you.

You stood up suddenly and went to stand face to face with you. “Really? A friend is someone who’s super touchy with you? Someone who openly flirts with you?”

“She’s my friend! You’re just jealous!” His face was becoming redder with anger.

“You’re so draft Draco!” You threw your hands up in anger. Your voice rising slightly in pitch as you kept on getting angrier. “Everyone can see it! Hell, even Crabbe asked me if I was even still your girlfriend. You know how bloody obvious it has to be for that git to see it?”

“You know you wouldn’t like it if it was another guy treating me the way Astoria is with you.”

“She doesn’t like me!” He yelled, frustrated at the situation and at himself. Because it was finally dawning on him what a horrible boyfriend he had been these past few weeks. “And it doesn’t matter if she did because I don’t like her! Please understand that (y/n)!”

“Yes it does! Because you don’t set any boundaries and let her do whatever. You let her think you’re interested. And not one time do you stop & think about me.”

“You have forgotten our dates! You literally left me all alone waiting for you in the astronomy tower because you never showed.” You continued your rant and Draco stayed silent at your outburst. He stared at you with wide eyes and shock. He had never seen you like this.

“Did you know I’m not doing the best on potions anymore? I’m struggling and you don’t seem to care Draco. But sure, as long as Astoria is passing it’s okay I guess.” You were crying at this point as you continued you’re rant. Tears freely flowing from your cheeks. You hated crying, you hated seeming weak.

Draco attempted to wipe the tears from your cheeks but you moved away. Not wanting him to touch you right now. You let out a deep breath, voice quivering. “I don’t know how much more I can handle. My heart can’t take much more.”

“What do you mean darling? I love you. Please (y/n), I love you so much. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I think you’re a little too late for that.”

“Please. Please think about this. I’m so sorry.” He was now starting to cry himself, something that was rare for him. He didn’t just cry for anyone. But his tears didn’t take away the hurt he had caused.

“You’ve broken my trust. You’ve hurt me. It’s going to take more than saying I’m sorry to let this all go.”

“I’ll do anything love.”

“You have to see where your heart lies. If you do actually love me, you’ll have to gain my trust back Draco.”

“Babe…” he grabbed your cheeks titling your head to look at him in the eyes. Both your eyes shining from the tears. “I’ll do that and so much more.”

“For the sake of our relationship, I hope you mean it. But I think I need some time to myself tonight and maybe tomorrow too.” You grabbed his hands, taking them away from your face. You gave them a slight squeeze before letting them go. Hoping that this wouldn’t be the last time you held them.

He left without saying another word. As you watched him walk out of your dorm, you dropped to the floor. Letting all the emotions of the past weeks flowing out. All the hurt, all the sadness and all the angry flowing down your cheeks.

Thoughts? Part 2??

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mrsbrekkers · 3 years

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Hello

I LOVED companionable silence, thank you very much!!

Can I request another one? Maybe a Jesper Fahey imagine? The reader is a part of the Dregs and Kaz trusts her and is like a brother but she has a rivalry with Jesper and he's jealous that Kaz trusts her but he finds the truth behind it. Maybe Kaz saved her from something.

Hope that made sense. Thank you <3

hello there friend! and of course! i had a LOT of fun writing for kaz :) and i adore writing for jesper, so this came to me pretty easily which is nice because for the past 3 days i had been on other requests that didn't give me inspo

this is really just the crows becoming annoyed at the bickering that reader and jesper do and locking them in a fridge to think out their bickering ways LMAO

reader is they/them as per usual in my jesper fics!

pairings! jesper x reader ( romantically implied ) / kaz x reader ( platonic ) / kaz x inej / nina x matthias all implied

warnings! none? swearing, all of the crows being done with reader and jesper being annoying, but also crows shipping reader and jesper haha

words! 3152

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Fighting for the affection of Kaz Brekker was something Jesper Fahey never thought would happen. Maybe it wasn’t affection, but rather admiration? Trust? Whatever it was, he found himself seeking it, and Y/N was getting in his damned way. They’d joined the Dregs and instantly it felt like he’d been replaced. The rivalry started there, and slowly, over time, it became something the Crows dreaded. Especially when Kaz would purposefully pair the two together.

Which, in Jesper’s humble opinion? Was incredibly stupid.

“Who’s this?” Jesper asked Kaz, who had walked into a relatively slow day at the Crow Club, someone in tow behind him. It wasn’t unlike Kaz to bring in new Dreg members every once in a while. Actually, it was almost every week at this point. He had his ways.

“The newest Crow,” Kaz said, glancing back at the shadow behind him, nodding slightly. Watching the newest crow step forward, their eyes landed on Jesper first.

“Y/N,” was all they said, eyes scanning all of the crows. It was clear the Crows were a bit confused. What had enticed their boss to bring someone new in? Were they going to be working on a new job?

“What special ability do they have?” Nina asked. Knowing their boss, he didn’t bring in anybody that was like someone else they had. What would be the point?

“Super senses. Hearing, sight, smell, all of it, is heightened,” Y/N responded, stepping in front of Kaz, finally getting a full view of the other five Crows surrounding the room. It was clear to them that they were a bit confused, as anyone would be.

“You’re Grisha then?” Jesper asked, to which Y/N tilted their head in thought. Technically, yes, but a Grisha without a color, and one who’d never been seen or heard about before.

“Yes, but my Grisha kind doesn’t have a name, nor does it have any history.”

From there, Jesper wasn’t sure what initiated the rivalry. He could easily say that it was the fact that he missed being Kaz’s right hand. But he also didn’t enjoy Y/N’s constant critiquing of how he would do on jobs. Then again, he did the same. It was a constant back and forth between the two. The two could barely do anything together. They found themselves bickering over the smallest incidents. One was late to their post? Bickering. One had won a hand of cards? Bickering. One had drunk the orange juice meant for one of them? Bickering, bickering, bickering. The team was sick of it. They heard it every day, and it was pushing them all to the edge.

“What even started this?” Inej asked, causing the Crows to all look at her, all except Jesper and Y/N, who were staring at one another, narrow eyed. The other Crows murmured in agreement, watching the two seemingly have a staring contest.

Kaz then entered the room, seeing the usual staring contest that happened daily. “They’re fighting again?” He inquired, his eyes rolling at how childish the two acted. The rest of the crows nodded, looking over at their boss, who ran a gloved hand down his face. He didn’t believe in team building exercises, that's what heists were for. But the Crows were at their breaking point, including himself.

Bringing Y/N onto the team hadn’t been much of a conscious decision at first, but after saving them from almost dying, as he had most of the Crows, he felt they’d be useful. Not just that, but he’d known Y/N for almost as long as he had Inej. They were a close friend, and he felt that after some time, years to be exact, that they should meet the Crows. He talked about them with Y/N all the time. Hell, they often were helping behind the scenes when it came to heists. They’d unknowingly saved the Crows dozens of times. Mainly because of their heightened hearing, and what Pekka Rollins believed was his agent, was actually Kaz’s agent.

Kaz didn’t expect this to happen. For a rivalry to bloom from meeting Y/N. Sure, he expected some amount of teasing, they were the Crows after all. Being a part of the group meant being teased for something, but a full out war between two people? Over him? He rarely found any amount of quiet anymore. He was at his breaking point.

Which led to the current situation at hand. Inej had proposed the idea; lock Y/N and Jesper into a room of sorts and make them situate their differences. It sounded childish at first, but after the recent fight the two had? He didn’t think it was any more childish than the two fighting was.

“Is this seriously what you’re mad about? Me drinking your orange juice Jesper?!” Y/N yelled across the Crow Club, directing most of the players' attention onto them. They casted a glare across the Club, only deterring a few onlookers from their staring problem.

“It was MINE! It had MY name on it Y/N! Not yours! Jesper Fahey was written across the front of it! You did this on purpose!” Jesper yelled back, crossing his arms as he stormed across the Club, ready to confront Y/N head on.

“I didn’t see the name, and even if I had, why would you leave it in the Club fridge?! It’s not Jesper Fahey’s fridge. Frankly, it’s the Club’s fridge, making it a free game!” Y/N stormed forward as well, eyes directly looking into Jesper’s, but before they could come face to face, the Crow head of Kaz’s cane came between them.

“Seriously? Is this what Inej has to come and tell me you’re arguing about?” Kaz asked, eyebrows raised expectantly. The Dregs were losing customers because of the two now, and frankly, Kaz wasn’t going to have that. Especially since, when he lost, Pekka Rollins benefitted.

“It’s because they drank my orange juice, Kaz. If anyone did the same to you, you’d be pretty upset! Not only that, they did it on purpose! They’re trying to get a rise out of me.” Jesper now looked at his boss, expecting the man to take his side, but Kaz simply rolled his eyes, huffing.

“And you certainly let them, didn’t you?” Kaz challenged, looking directly at Jesper with a tilted head.

Now Y/N and Jesper were stuck in the Crow Club freezer, which had been warmed just slightly, and blankets were left in the back just in case it became too cold.

“You two are going to figure out your shit, and then we’ll let you out. You can’t lie your way out either, Nina here is going to make sure of it,” Kaz spoke, the door locked and a smirk lie on his lips. He wouldn’t let the two freeze, but they’d be back in that freezer every day until they figured out why they were arguing, that was a promise he’d keep.

“What the hell Kaz?!” Jesper and Y/N said in unison, glaring the man down. But he was already limping away, planning on enjoying the silence he’d have in his office for once. No worries about hearing Y/N and Jesper down in the Crow Club arguing over orange juice.

Y/N turned to the back of the freezer, they’re anger rising as they huffed and shook their head. “This?!” They gestured around them, grabbing the blankets in the back, planning on hoaging them. “Is your fault,” they slid down the freezer wall, now wrapped in the two blankets.

“Give me one of those you blanket hog,” Jesper snatched one of the blankets, watching Y/N shiver for a moment before they went back to glaring at Jesper. Sliding down the opposite wall, the two glared at one another. Jesper couldn’t remember the moment he’d felt threatened by Y/N. He hadn’t known about them until Kaz had introduced them to the Crows. So maybe it irked him that the man he worked for had so many secrets, which wasn’t something Jesper didn’t know about before.

Kaz had too many secrets for Jesper to count. He could compile a list twenty miles long if he truly tried. The matter for Jesper was that one of those secrets was someone that could’ve been helping them from the get go. Someone that had been helping under the veil of secrecy. Someone Kaz would go to that wasn’t Inej and none of Crows were in the know of it. It involved someone Jesper didn’t know. Someone he didn’t trust, and now he was blaming Y/N for it.

Not just that, but Jesper wasn’t used to not being the right hand man. Because despite what Kaz would say out loud, he did trust Jesper, more than a lot of people. It seemed that trust was shared with someone Jesper didn’t know, which also irked him. He could trust Inej: he did trust Inej. He however, didn’t trust Y/N. Or . . . he did, in life or death scenarios. Because despite their rivalry, they’d saved him from dying several times, and vice versa.

“Jesper, behind you!” Y/N yelled, seeing a man lifting his gun behind Jesper, but Jesper was quicker. Pulling his gun out, he turned, shooting the man in the hand, making him drop the gun, and then a second bullet through the man's head. He glanced back, seeing Y/N walk up behind him, looking down at the man who’d almost ended their lives, and the heist they were on.

“Thanks, I owe you one,” Jesper managed to get out, his heart racing. Maybe it was because of the job. The adrenaline he got from it. Or maybe, it was because of Y/N saving him. “I knew you cared,” he decided to tease, smirking just slightly.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, sharpshooter. Simply didn’t want Kaz killing me for letting someone kill you,” Y/N covered, glancing up at Jesper and scoffing as they saw the smirk. Elbowing him in his ribs, they walked off, ready to gather the information they needed.

Y/N narrowed their eyes as they looked at Jesper, their mind racing. What started the rivalry for them? They blamed Jesper for starting it. They’d come in open minded, he had closed minded. Now it’d evolved into daily bickering. But even Y/N could admit that Jesper was a necessary part of this team. He’d saved them several times, and not just during missions, but outside of such as well.

A kick landed to their face, and then to their abdomen, knocking them down. Y/N was a good enough fighter, but they couldn’t hold their own against two men bigger than them. Plus, they were outnumbered without their usual weapon. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

“Y/N, I swear if you-” but Jesper turned the corner, seeing them down on the ground, going eye-wide when his eyes met the two men above them. His hands found his guns, lifting them out of their holsters. The two men heard the small sounds of the guns, turning to see they were both at gunpoint.

“I doubt you want a bullet in your neck,” was all Jesper said before watching them scurry off. He quickly holstered his guns, rushing over to Y/N and picking them up. They were out cold, having passed out some time between the kick to their face and abdomen. When they did start waking, it was in the slat, laying on a bed that wasn’t theirs, Jesper above them.

“What happened?” They asked, Jesper huffing as he brushed a few strands of hair out of their face, trying to get to a bruise on their cheek.

“You were jumped,” Jesper said quietly, placing the warm rag against their cheek. Y/N hummed in acknowledgment to the rag, taking it into their hands to hold, but Jesper batted their hand away.

“Go figures,” Y/N murmured, closing their eyes once more. They leaned into the rag, craving the warmth. They felt the slightest touch of Jesper’s fingers graze their cheek, a small smile gracing their lips.

“You do care.” Jesper did care, but he simply hummed in acknowledgment just as Y/N had below him moments before.

“Get some rest.”

“But your bed-”

“I don’t plan on using it tonight, business to attend to,” Jesper cut Y/N off.

“You sound like Kaz,” Y/N laughed just slightly, but winced in pain at the pain in their ribs. The men had broken one or two of them for sure.

“Never say that about me again,” Jesper chuckled, watching as Y/N dozed off, clearly exhausted and in pain. It was better for them not to know what Jesper had planned. He wasn’t going to let the men get away with this, but for once, he didn’t think a quick death was worthy. They’d hurt Y/N. But it wasn’t like he cared that much? Did he?

“Why do you hate me?” Y/N asked, their eyes on Jesper in the freezer across from them.

“Why do you hate me?” Jesper asked back, his eyes narrowing on the bundled Grisha. Heightened senses likely made them a little colder than he was currently. Maybe they hadn’t taken the second blanket to spite him. Or they had, but with their own health taken into account.

“I asked first,” Y/N responded, pulling the blanket around them tighter.

“Well there's drinking and eating my food. Being rude during jobs. Flirting with every person in sight-”

“You do that too, Jesper, that isn’t just a me thing,” Y/N pointed out, raising an eyebrow. Was that really a reason he hated them? No, that was a stupid reason to hate someone.

“See, I do it with flair, you do not.” Jesper wasn’t sure why he hated them. His reasons were stupid. They were cover ups, and he knew it. He knew he didn’t hate Y/N. How could anyone hate them? Despite everything, they’d been kind at the beginning.

“That’s stupid, Jesper! Come on now!”

“It isn’t stupid!”

“Yes it is! I don’t hate you because of it!”

“I don’t hate you!” Jesper blurted out, and Y/N simply tilted their head in question, now rendered silent. That was a new one. Y/N L/N silent. Jesper almost commented on it, but he knew now was not the time. He’d tease them about it later when he wasn’t under fire for hating someone he didn’t hate.

“I simply am . . . jealous maybe? Is that the right word for this? Envious?” Jesper was now running a hand down his face, placing his head in the same hand moments later.

“Jealous? What is there to be jealous of?” Y/N asked, laughing a bit. Their life had been horrible. Everyone’s life in the Barrel was pretty shitty to say the least. To get here it also had to be pretty shitty, or you got pulled into it like Jesper had. Still, jealous?

“Your damned relationship with Kaz. I don’t understand it. You waltzed in and were his best friend from the start. Which told me you knew him before I did. Maybe that frightened me because I was now replaceable by this amazing person. Because you have to be pretty fucking amazing to be Kaz Brekker’s best friend,” Jesper ranted, watching Y/N’s lips pull up into a smile.

“He saved me, Jesper. I met him months after Inej, and just months before you met him. I was down pretty bad in the Barrel, and I was using my heightened senses to steal from different clubs. I had to travel around to make sure I wasn’t caught, but Kaz wasn’t stupid. Every time I’d come in he knew, and one day, he stopped me.”

“You’re stealing,” The Bastard of the Barrel spoke, Y/N opposite of his desk, sitting.

“I am not.”

“You’re cheating. You’ve been here every Friday night, because you know it’s when the tables are easiest to play. You’re Grisha, I observed that when I first saw you. I’d assume Heartrender based on your play. You use it to know when people are lying, and you switch tables every ten minutes to the highest bidding table, and you win Every. Time. You also swipe money when nobody's looking, I know that trick like the back of my hand,” Kaz spoke, leaning over the desk, watching the Grisha go eye wide.

But Kaz stalled for a few moments. For a moment, he saw himself in their eyes, and that’s all it took for the Bastard of the Barrel to stop leaning forward and sit back in his chair. Pointing for his men to leave the room, he glanced over Y/N.

“I’m not doing it because I enjoy it,” Y/N spoke, sucking in a frightened breath. They felt squeamish in their seat, as if they were going to be killed at any moment, but then the men left, and they felt just slightly better.

“I know,” and that was Kaz had let on about it, but Y/N saw the look in his eyes, and they knew it all too well. He’d been at a point like this before as well, except the getting caught part. That was something Kaz never dealt with was being caught. Maybe in those moments sitting across from Y/N, he’d wished he had been, but nobody would’ve been merciful. Not like he was. He would’ve been killed, and he’d already been taught that strangers in Ketterdam weren’t kind. But that day he showed just some kindness.

“He saved you like the rest of us,” Jesper inquired, sighing. How had he been so blind? His jealousy had made him an asshole. A jealous asshole who couldn’t think about anything other than said jealousy. “I’m sorry,” he added, glancing up at Y/N now, seeing them shake their head.

“I’m sorry too. I’ve been an ass as well. We both have,” Y/N said, shivering a bit more. Jesper moved, going to sit next to Y/N and give them the blanket he had.

“You had every right to be an ass, Y/N. I was being an ass to you about everything, you were simply repaying the favor,” Jesper said with a small laugh. He pulled Y/N into his shoulder.

“So, you don’t hate me either?” Jesper asked then, looking down at Y/N.

“Not one bit,” Y/N let out a laugh.

Nina then busted through the door, clapping. “Finally! No more bickering!” She exclaimed, bending down in front of Y/N and Jesper, glancing between the two of them.

Jesper simply nodded, looking down at Y/N and lifting them up, carrying them out of the freezer. The rest of the Crows watched, confusion locked on their features. What had changed in such a short amount of time? What had Y/N told Jesper to make him stop hating them?

“What the hell?” Inej whispered, crossing her arms.

“Ten Kruge they get together by the end of the week,” Wylan spoke, hand out for an agreement with Inej, who looked over at Wylan, smirking.

“Twenty it takes them less than three days,” Inej raised a brow.

“You’re on,” Wylan said, his hand shaking Inej’s.

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x-childish-x · 3 years

Note

hello, i noticed there’s been a growth of obi wan requests on your page. if you don’t mind, may i also request an obi wan x reader fanfic (preferably a female reader)? my idea is that the reader is related to qui gon, maybe a niece of his that he looks after since her parents passed. after qui gon’s death, reader decides to become a jedi and she and obi wan grow closer over the years, and finally confess their love for each other after they both become masters?

Long Time Coming

Pairing: Obi-Wan x fem!reader

Fandom: Star Wars

Warnings: ansgt?, fluff, mentions to multiple character deaths, mentions of a funeral

Word Count: 2,417

A/N: This is quite long! I'm sorry if that's not something you like! Firstly, thank you for the request and support! I appreciate it so much and feedback is always more than welcome and appreciated!! This request was super unique and I had a fun time writing it despite feeling the need to absolutely perfect it, lol. Anyways, I really hope this is what you wanted and that you enjoy it!

P.S. I am out of surgery and now starting recovery. Everything’s gone well so far, but I probably won’t be posting much. Check my page for a form to send in some questions for me to answer!!

Summary: Obi-Wan's been trying to catch your attention for years and after your uncle Qui-Gon Jinn's death, you find comfort in Obi-Wan like never before.

(gif not mine!)

"(Y/n), we're making another stop. We don't have enough fuel to make it back to Coruscant. We're landing on Tattooine," Your uncle, Qui-Gon, spoke softly through the holopad.

"I found the planet," Obi-Wan beamed at you, hoping this fact would impress you.

You smiled widely, nodding to Obi-Wan, "Keep this old man out of trouble for me, won't you Obi-Wan?"

The young boy nodded vigorously as your uncle rolled his eyes, "You're getting quite old yourself (y/n). I urge you to rethink your choice of not becoming a Jedi before you're using a cane."

"We could train together!" Obi-Wan cheered, his eyes glinting with hope as he looked up at his master, "I would do well at bringing her up to speed!"

There seemed to be something that happened off the holopad that you couldn't see. Both men turned their heads before looking back at you with nearly identical looks of remorse.

"We're landing soon. I must leave," Qui-Gon frowned, "Stay out of trouble. I'll return soon."

Over the next few days, Obi-Wan and your uncle did their best to keep in contact with you. Though it wasn't much, barely once a day, it was still something, and that very much made you smile. Each call was a relief because they were both alive. They were okay. They would be home soon.

"A boy?" You questioned Obi-Wan.

"Yes, his name is Anakin Skywalker," He frowned slightly before leaning more towards his holopad, whispering, "I'm beginning to think Qui-Gon likes him better than me."

"Nonsense!" You laughed, "Qui-Gon loves you! It's impossible to not love you!"

Immediately realizing what you said, your cheeks flushed with heat, Obi-Wan's reaction mocking yours. You missed Obi-Wan, he was your best friend after all, and it wasn't often that Qui-Gon and he left on such long missions.

"There was this thing," Obi-Wan spoke up, "He wielded a red lightsaber."

"That doesn't sound good," You frowned, wishing Obi-Wan was more than just a hologram before you.

He nodded before his attention was stolen off-screen, and he huffed, "I have to go. We'll be home soon!"

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

"What is this about you being attacked!" You yelped, jogging up to Qui-Gon.

He smiled at your concern, "I am fine. He escaped. We believe he's a sith, that they've returned. The good news is the boy we found will be my new Padawan."

"I don't care about the boy," You hissed, glaring up at your uncle, "I care about you being safe, about not losing you!"

Unexpectedly, Qui-Gon pulled you into his chest. Tears welled in your eyes at the action he so rarely did, your arms wrapping as tight as they could around his torso. You felt a kiss pressed to the top of your head and immediately squeezed tighter, tears rolling down your cheeks.

"Please... I can't lose you too, Uncle."

Qui-Gon winced at your words, knowing how dangerous it was to form attachments, yet it'd been impossible with you. From the moment you'd come under his care, you'd immediately bonded. There was no way you wouldn't have formed an attachment with him and he with you.

You'd showed up on his doorstep fourteen years ago when you were only nine. You had clutched your stuffed bantha to your chest with tears running down your cheeks, mumbling all about how 'mommy and daddy were gone' and 'I need you, uncle Qui-Gon'. His heart immediately shattered. The passing of his brother had reached him a few hours before your arrival, and the nanny behind you gave the older man a soft smile before nudging you forward.

You bounded forward, slamming into Qui-Gon's legs with a loud sob that had the older man lifting you into his arms instantly. You'd been destroyed by the sudden and mysterious loss of your parents. You sought comfort in your uncle Qui-Gon and his young Padawan. You'd spent years denying the chance to become a Jedi, afraid you were too imbalanced in your emotions.

You pulled back from Qui-Gon, allowing him to wipe your tears before he kissed your head once more. He moved, walking over to Obi-Wan, and you watched as the two talked before separating. Obi-Wan walked towards you, but your eyes locked on a small boy behind him who stood next to what looked like an R2 droid.

"We're leaving again," Obi-Wan sighed, frowning at your slightly red cheeks and glassy eyes.

You nodded, biting your lip before finally locking eyes with Obi-Wan, "Please take care of him... I have a terrible feeling Obi-Wan."

"I will," Obi-Wan smiled, gently reaching out and allowing you to place your hands in his before pulling you closer, "I'll make sure he stays out of trouble. He has a new Padawan to train, after all. But besides that..." Obi-Wan's voice dropped, his gaze growing softer as he squeezed your hands, "You know I'd do anything for you."

You nodded, listening as Qui-Gon ordered Obi-Wan to head to the ship, and with one last playful goodbye, you watched him leave, followed soon by everyone else. You stood on the pad, watching as the ship rose and left, the terrible feeling in your stomach growing with each second.

Nobody called you. For the next few days, nobody called you, and it only worsened the terrible feeling, making you nauseous as you waited patiently for the ship to arrive. You'd been told briefly by Yoda that they were returning, yet the pain on his face confirmed your thoughts. Something was wrong, and you weren't sure what, but you'd felt the pain and dread that filled you yesterday, and now Yoda was looking at you with remorse as he watched you waiting from his tower.

You couldn't maintain your focus as the ship landed, frozen still as you waited. You watched each person that exited, waiting for the two familiar faces you wanted to see so badly. Obi-Wan descended the ramp, his eyes lifting from the ground to lock with yours. Instantly tears filled your eyes, a hand flying to your mouth as Obi-Wan rushed to you.

"No..."

You collapsed into Obi-Wan's chest without a second thought, throwing your arms around him as sobs racked through your body. He attempted calming you, one arm wrapped tightly around your waist and the other stroking your hair. Obi-Wan panicked slightly, feeling immediately it was all his fault. Your pain was his fault. If he'd just been slightly faster he could've saved his master, your uncle.

"Please... Obi-Wan... tell me no," You cried, burying your head into his chest as his grip tightened.

"It was a sith, the same who attacked him previously," Obi-Wan whispered, not caring about the looks anyone gave you, "I killed him. I killed the sith right after. I... I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't faster."

Nobody could remove you from Obi-Wan's side, not even Yoda, who was forced to allow you to sit in while he spoke to Obi-Wan about Anakin. You were distraught and terrified at the idea of seeing your uncle's body later. Obi-Wan comforted you, an arm around you the entire day until the ceremony rolled around.

You'd separated from Obi-Wan briefly, and when you returned to Qui-Gon's funeral, Yoda himself almost cried. You stood over Qui-Gon's body, a hand gently brushing his cheek, your mother's Jedi robe caressing your body. Just for a second, Yoda believed he was seeing your mother's spirit. You looked so identical, and the soft click of Yoda's cane startled you, forcing you away from your uncle's body.

"Determination within you, I sense. Made a decision, you have," Yoda hummed, coming to your side.

You nodded curtly, your gaze on Qui-Gon, "I wish to become a Jedi, Master Yoda."

"Agree to your request, the council does. My Padawan, you will be," Yoda nodded, not needing to speak to any other members to know there would be no defiance.

Yoda retreated to the back, watching your reaction as people filtered in, most not catching your attention until Obi-Wan walked in. You seemed to escape his gaze for a few moments, certainly because of the robe, before he rushed to your side. Yoda knew this was a potential problem, the connection the two of you held, but that was a problem for the future.

The future seemed to bring many problems for you. Your days quickly molded into becoming nothing but training. You barely spent time sleeping. Both you and Master Yoda determined to bring you up to speed. Despite everyone in the council loving your decision to become a Jedi (especially Obi-Wan), they had all disagreed with the idea of you becoming a Jedi-Knight within five short years.

However, Yoda insisted you were ready, and you passed the trials with such ease it'd seemed like you'd been training for years. Which of course, lead to many Jedi accusing you of training illegally under Qui-Gon. But it wasn't anything like that. Yoda and Obi-Wan were amazing when it came to training you. They were patient and worked with you consistently, over and over. You knew there was no way you would've become a Jedi-Knight had you not had their help.

"So?" Obi-Wan asked when you returned to your shared apartment, "Did you pass?"

Slowly, you lifted the hair on your right side to reveal that your Padawan braid was no more. He smiled widely, leaping up and pulling you into his chest. You smiled back, squeezing Obi-Wan as he spun you around gently.

You still weren't used to everything. Obi-Wan and you had decided to get an apartment together after Qui-Gon's passing, insisting that living together helped your coping. Of course, it was a two-bedroom, and you stayed in separate rooms, and just Obi-Wan's presence truly did help you.

Once Obi-Wan sat you down and pulled back, a huge smile on his face as you stared up at him. A moment passed as you struggled to get a grip on your thoughts. You gulped, eyes flicking around the room as you kept your hands linked at the back of Obi-Wan's growing hair. You liked it longer. You felt it suited him, not that you didn't like it short.

"Obi-Wan?" Your voice was small, fragile in the air as the slightly older boy stared at you.

"Yes?"

"Do you think he's proud of me?"

Obi-Wan's heart melted at the worry in your eyes, the worry that your uncle wouldn't be proud of you after everything you'd done. His hands drifted from your waist and up to cup your cheeks, pulling your face just slightly closer as he leaned down. He wanted nothing more than to wipe your ever-growing tears, but that could wait. The most important thing for Obi-Wan right now was to make sure you understood that there was no possible way for Qui-Gon to be even the slightest bit disappointed in you.

"(Y/n), I have not a single doubt that he's proud of you. He was before he passed, and I'm sure he's proud now," Obi-Wan reassured you, his smile growing as you nodded, "I know Master Qui-Gon wishes he was here with us, to see you become a Jedi Knight, but regardless he is incredibly proud."

You giggled softly, leaning forward just the slightest bit, so your nose touched Obi-Wan's, "I just worry sometimes, that maybe I'm not doing enough," You paused, gasping a quiet breath when Obi-Wan nudged your nose with his again, "Thank you Obi-Wan... I... I couldn't have done any of this without you. I'd be lost, truly."

Your gaze flicked down to your connected noses and back up to Obi-Wan's blue eyes. Yet, it felt like it was the first time you ever looked at Obi-Wan. You felt like you were a small kid again, peeking out from under your uncle's robe to see two big blue eyes looking at you with a huge smile. Blue eyes and a smile that promised to be your best friend, promised to stay by your side... 'as a loyal Jedi should'. And now, as you stared into those same eyes, you felt the urge to be so much more than what he promised.

You tilted your head up, mushing your lips against Obi-Wan's and leading the kiss as he froze in shock. Was he dreaming again? Was he about to wake up alone in his bed once more? The squeeze you gave to the back of his neck told him otherwise... that this most definitely wasn't a dream. Suddenly, he was dropping his hands from your cheeks, looping them around your waist and pulling you flush against him as he took control of the kiss.

It became a dance of lips and tongue, mumbling in an attempt to convey all the years of unsaid feelings even though no real words were being formed. It felt perfect. It felt like the force was exploding through the two of you, screaming that nothing could've been more right. There was no thought of the Jedi Code, no thought of the possibility of losing your titles. The only thought being formed was how not only your lips but your mind and soul seemed to connect at that moment together.

"I... that... we..."

"I've wanted to do that for so long," You laughed breathlessly, cutting off Obi-Wan.

He smiled, nodding in agreement as he placed a kiss on your forehead, "I adore you so much (y/n). I always have."

You mocked Obi-Wan's actions, nodding your confirmation as he placed another kiss closer to your temple now. It felt perfect. The life force flowing around the two of you was bursting with light, harmonious, and balanced perfectly. There was no need for words. You could feel one another projecting all the unsaid emotions. You were one, and suddenly a large smile broke onto your face as Obi-Wan continued to press light kisses all over your face.

You weren't worried about the possibility of losing your title. You didn't care what the Jedi Code had to say, and you certainly didn't care what the council thought. You felt complete, whole. And it was the first time you'd felt that way since losing your parents. You'd deal with the consequences later, when they made themselves truly known on their own accord and when it was time for Obi-Wan and you to make a decision.

"Do you think he's still proud of me?"

Obi-Wan chuckled, kissing your nose before pulling back, "I think he'd want to kill me."

"It was a long time coming," You teased, making Obi-Wan nod.

"That, it was."

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Text

part 3 of Escape Your Destiny (Star Wars Wangxian AU) - on ao3 or tumblr part 1, part 2

He had been right to reject seclusion, Lan Wangji thought grimly. The sweet siren call of calm contemplation had nearly seduced him, the Dark Side seeking to eat away at him through other means now that anger and hatred had not done the work – he would have meditated himself into a stupor, becoming little more than a vacuum within the Force, a black hole of deathly intent.

More than that, though, he would have missed – this.

This disaster.

Wei Wuxian’s lips were pale from blood loss and hypothermia. Two of his limbs were at odd angles, probably broken, and Lan Wangji feared that there were more like them beneath the body that was bruised like a tender peach – he had been shielding as many people as he could, Lan Wangji knew, because he knew his Wei Ying too well to think that he might have done anything else.

Lan Wangji still didn’t know all the details, what exactly had been the disaster or why Wei Wuxian’s starfighter had crashed when he knew (with painful recollection) exactly how good a pilot Wei Wuxian was, but it hadn’t really mattered. Xue Yang had rushed into his chamber shouting excitedly - not exactly a rare event - saying something about an alarm and a disaster and a crash and can I have one of these gadgets? possibly two, maybe, I’m thinking two but haven’t really committed yet, it’s a big decision you know, and Lan Wangji’s blood had run cold when he realized what alarm he was referencing.

(A proper Jedi would never have tagged the object of his affections like an endangered bird or a criminal, injecting the tracking chip so deep into bone and muscle that standard scans wouldn’t pick it up and even in-depth scans might register it as a naturally occurring aberration. A proper Jedi would think of such intimate surveillance as cruelty, dehumanization, the caging of a free bird –

A proper Jedi wouldn’t have known what happened.

A proper Jedi wouldn’t have been able to rush over at once, wouldn’t have been in time to retrieve the body from the wreckage, finding it still warm and breathing but swiftly fading into the Force.

A proper Jedi would have been worthless.)

“That looks pretty bad, Master,” Xue Yang said, the comm crackling in his ear, and for once his tone was almost solemn. Perhaps the lessons on empathy were working, following the introduction of the rancor Xue Yang had named Chengmei with an expression so pained and vicious that Lan Wangji had refrained from asking. Perhaps it was that he’d grown so obsessed with his pair of bounty hunters and their foundling assistant, a little not-blind Bothan girl who liked to mouth off at him. Or perhaps it was just something as simple as knowing that if Wei Wuxian were lost, Lan Wangji would have no reason to –

No reason to anything at all.

“It is within the limits of what a bacta tank can heal,” Lan Wangji said, because it was, it would be, as long as he got him there in time.

Time that was swiftly running out.

Later, when Wei Wuxian was safe, Lan Wangji would return to that obscure little space station that had nearly caused his beloved’s death and he would find out what had happened properly. He would find out, and he would slaughter every one of them that caused it, torment them for days if he needed to in order to know who to blame – it didn’t matter if their contribution were accidental or deliberate, major or slight. He would offer up a sacrifice of their suffering to the Dark Side, as solemn as lighting a stick of incense at a temple –

When Wei Wuxian was safe.

Because he would be. He had to be.

Lan Wangji’s Wei Ying would not die so easily.

“Uh, Master? We don’t have a bacta tank.” Xue Yang was silent for a long moment. “I don’t know that many people around here that do. This is Outer Rim, remember? Not even the Hutts have one.”

“There is one in an outpost in the Quiberon sector,” Lan Wangji said. His attention was split between piloting their stolen ship as fast as he could and monitoring Wei Wuxian’s vital signs. He had transferred a certain amount of energy into him already, but the Dark Side was poisonous in overly large quantities, especially if one was not accustomed to it; a pure Jedi like Wei Wuxian couldn’t tolerate it, and Lan Wangji would not risk making him worse. “Inat Prime system. I’ve entered the coordinates. Set us up for a jump to lightspeed.”

“Inat Prime,” Xue Yang repeated, instead of doing as he was told. “Isn’t that – near Rothana?”

Lan Wangji said nothing.

“Rothana’s a manufacturing planet. Heavy engineering – warships. It used to belong to a subsidy of the Jin Engineering Corps, maybe still does, I don’t know, but either way manufacturing planets like that are where those sleemos keep their precious IP. And that means it’s going to be guarded and booby-trapped up your chubba. Who in their right mind would set up an outpost anywhere near there?”

Xue Yang was descending into Huttese slang again, Lan Wangji noted to himself, keeping his calm only by sheer force of willpower even as the Dark Side screamed in his mind that now was the time for rage and pain and blood. Given his hatred of the entire species, Xue Yang only did that when he was especially anxious and didn’t want to admit it.

Later, when he didn’t have more pressing things on his mind, Lan Wangji would have to inquire of his apprentice – which he had previously believed was as transparent to him as a sheet of transparisteel – how he had learned about things like top-secret Jin Engineering manufacturing planets and IP and such things like that.

Later. Right now, he didn’t care.

“Prepare for jump,” he said again, the threat in his voice clear, and this time Xue Yang scrambled to obey, mumbling curses as he went. This was more typical of Xue Yang, but in this case it signified that he was concentrating, and that was all Lan Wangji cared about.

The rest of the trip passed as if in a daze, time counted in the beats of Wei Wuxian’s heart. Still strong, because Wei Wuxian was strong – this wouldn’t be the end of him. It wouldn’t.

Lan Wangji would make sure of that.

“We’re here,” Xue Yang said, breaking through Lan Wangji’s extreme focus on the rise and fall of Wei Wuxian’s chest. “I’m going to guess that our destination is the third planet? If you can call those other ones planets, they’re barely more than asteroids…”

Lan Wangji hummed, affirming.

“So, you going to tell me what this place is? Some super-secret Sith hideout?”

“No.”

“Smuggler’s base? Bounty hunter lair? Mandalorian terrorist cell? Clone factory?”

Lan Wangji rolled his eyes. Xue Yang had been reading too many historical action comics again.

“No, but seriously, Master! I deserve to know what we’re getting into, don’t I? What is this place?”

Lan Wangji was tempted to say you deserve nothing but what I give you, you filthy-tongue swamp-rat, but that was the Dark Side speaking, not him, and not only because the Gusu Lan Jedi order in which he had been raised did not permit cursing. It was simply anathema to him - he was Sith, but not a Lord, and he had encouraged this self-same insolence because it was better than having Xue Yang cringe before him like a kicked dog.

No matter how irritating it might be at times like this.

“It’s Jedi,” he said shortly, and to his amusement that actually shut Xue Yang up for a solid minute.

“I’m sorry, Master, I think I temporarily went insane due to Dark Force poisoning,” Xue Yang finally said. “But did you say that we’re planning on popping over and ‘borrowing’ the bacta tank of a bunch of Jedi?”

“Mm.”

“Master. Master. Please tell me you remember that we’re Sith, right? Sort of the sworn enemy of the Jedi? Arrest-on-sight orders? Any of this ringing any bells here? No? In short, have you lost your mind?”

Lan Wangji took Wei Wuxian’s pulse again. It was getting increasingly thready; he frowned.

“Take us in,” he ordered, and Xue Yang made a whining sound not unlike an especially agitated cat, but he obeyed, finding the planetary base and flashing them with a urgent medical attention required signal and transmitting the passcode Lan Wangji recited to him.

The base opened its doors in silent invitation.

Xue Yang took them in, apparently resigned to his fate and determined to pointedly suffer and judge him without saying a word.

This determination cracked the second they passed through the gates.

“Master!” he shrieked. “Master, Master! That’s the Qinghe Nie emblem!”

“It is,” Lan Wangji agreed. Foreseeing Xue Yang’s next question, he added, “It is here because this is an outpost of the Qinghe Nie Jedi order.”

Xue Yang sounded a bit like a rusty door when he hyperventilated, and even more so when he started laughing hysterically. How had he ever survived being a Sith before, if this was how he reacted to stress?

“Great, right, yes,” he said, nearly howling. “Sure, why not? Let’s go knock on the door of some Jedi and ask them for a bacta tank like we’re borrowing a cup of sugar, sure, okay, we can do that. Jedi are chumps, they’re all about mercy and sympathy and bantha fodder like that; we can con ‘em - it’ll be tricky, but it can be done when you’re in a pinch. I’m fine with that, up for it, it’s cool, all cool. You know who we can’t con? Qinghe Nie, that’s who. ‘Suppress evil no matter the cost’ Qinghe karking Nie.”

Lan Wangji ignored him, scooping Wei Wuxian into his arms and heading out into the saber hall.

Three grim-faced Jedi dressed in the immediately identifiable colors of the Qinghe Nie were waiting there, hands on their lightsabers and droids lingering in the corridors, but they did not attack. Instead, they led Lan Wangji, a nervous Xue Yang dogging his heels, to the medical bay, never uttering a single word.

The medical droids took Wei Wuxian from his arms – Lan Wangji forced himself to recall the Lan sect mantras on restraint and allowed them to do so without ripping out their wires for daring to touch him – but it wasn’t until Wei Wuxian was firmly encased in the bacta tank, the oxygen-rich liquid flowing into his lungs to heal him, the colors on all the screens all showing positive signs, that he was finally able to release the breath it felt that he’d been holding since he first saw the broken starfighter that encased Wei Wuxian’s broken body.

This was fine.

“Wangji,” a low voice said from behind him, and Lan Wangji’s back stiffened.

This was not fine.

The Qinghe Nie were a strange order of Jedi – almost heretical, really, by any traditional measure. The orthodox Jedi order, for the most part, valued calm and serenity and selflessness, prioritizing the logic of the mind over the yearning of the heart, preaching detachment from worldly concerns and attachments…

Qinghe Nie, in contrast, valued righteousness, and cultivated rage.

Halfway to Sith, Lan Wangji’s uncle had once remarked after a glass of something stronger than tea. He’d regretted it later, of course, and tried to walk it back, smooth over his uncharacteristic rudeness, but Lan Wangji still remembered.

The adherents of Qinghe Nie were of the view that for every virtue there was a fault – that the Jedi’s emotional remove would at times render them passive, that self-control could too quickly shade into indifference. They argued that it was the duty of the virtuous to be enraged by evil, intolerant of it, and that only through that anger would they be motivated to act to eradicate it.

Their philosophy often led to their deaths, whether through reckless action or through the corruption of rage into madness, but even their harshest critics had to concede that they were devastatingly effective.

Lan Wangji had always thought that there was something heartbreakingly sincere about all the Jedi that took the harsh vows of Qinghe Nie, each one willingly trading away long lives for the sake of righteousness, for the ability to make a change in the world, each one unable to tolerate life if it meant they weren’t striving to make things better. Perhaps they did not match the Jiang for creativity or the Lan for elegance, perhaps their techniques were more brutish and less refined, their diplomacy little short of appalling, but no other Jedi order could match them for sheer power.

Very few people wanted to be between a Qinghe Nie Jedi and their target, and still less if they had allowed themselves to succumb to the beserker rage that sometimes took them on the battlefield – indeed, in a crisis that called for force of arms, most people who knew what they were about would rather have a single Qinghe Nie on their side than an entire battalion of war-droids from the Jin or Wen engineering corps.

Still, even that efficiency might not have been enough to convince the ancient sticklers of the Jedi Council to condone such a Sith-like view of the Force, but the Qinghe Nie also had an unsurpassed connection to the kyber crystals that were essential to the creation of lightsabers – the mines under their hands were far more numerous and more fruitful than any other order, and for all that they seemed to have dubious connections to the lightsabers they crafted and wielded, with their highly unusual one-sided edge, they were always open-handed and willing to let other Jedi pick freely from their stores.

With the ancestral weapon of the entire Jedi order at stake, even the Jedi Council unwillingly bowed its head to reality and compromised.

Not very happily. Especially since the fierce young head of the Qinghe Nie order – the great Chifeng-zun, Nie Mingjue – had been constantly causing trouble for them ever since he had been admitted to their deliberations.

More relevantly, though, was that Nie Mingjue was also a good friend of Lan Xichen, Lan Wangji’s elder brother by blood, and it had been the gift of his token, his passcode, never revoked, that they had used to enter through the gates.

(Look what happened to the Twin Jades you prized so much, my old clansmen, Uncle, Father, Grandfather. Look at me now. Begging for scraps from a Nie -)

Lan Wangji turned and saluted, bowing deeply and ignoring Xue Yang, who had progressed so far into hysterical laughter that he was now hiccupping.

Nie Mingjue caught his hands and raised him up, just the way he always had, and that grim face surveyed Lan Wangji from top to bottom, those searing eyes seeming to pierce into the depths of his corrupted soul.

“You look well,” he said, which surprised even Lan Wangji, who had thought himself beyond surprises. “That’s good.”

“What the fuck,” Xue Yang muttered. “What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck – you guys are with me here, right? This is kriffing insane…”

The Qinghe Nie Jedi ignored him.

“Chifeng-zun,” Lan Wangji said politely, and ignored the man’s raised eyebrow. He was not about to fall back into calling him da-ge the way he’d done back when he was in the Jedi crèche, no matter how tempting – everyone had called Nie Mingjue da-ge back then, too young to be afraid of his fierce and barely leashed energy. “Thank you for lending us temporary use of your base.”

There wasn’t really a polite way to say I wasn’t expecting to run into you here under the circumstances, but from the way Nie Mingjue snorted, Lan Wangji suspected he’d understood regardless.

“Checking up on the Jin,” he said, an explanation that Lan Wangji didn’t deserve to hear. “Treasonous svapers, the lot of them. Is this Wei Wuixan?”

Lan Wangji nodded. His heart was unexpectedly in his throat as Nie Mingjue studied the other Jedi through the glass of the bacta tank, though he wasn’t sure why.

He was Sith now, after all. Why would he care what Nie Mingjue thought?

It would have been easier if Nie Mingjue had been angry at him, full of rage the way he so often was. Easier if he’d turned his tongue as sharp as any lightsaber to scolding him, or turned his face away in coldness. Nie Mingjue notoriously despised the Sith, had probably meant to call the Jin Sithspawn instead of svapers earlier, had probably switched the word only in deference to Lan Wangji’s current occupation – which meant he knew, because of course he knew, there was no way Lan Xichen hadn’t told him even if his position on the Council hadn’t already entitled him to all such secrets.

He knew, and he still persisted in acting like – like –

“Cute enough,” Nie Mingjue commented, and Lan Wangji covered his suddenly burning face with both hands. “You have good taste.”

“Please stop,” Lan Wangji mumbled, mortified beyond all belief. Xue Yang was looking back and between the two of them with his jaw gaping wider than a Gungan’s.

Nie Mingjue snorted, amused. “I carried you around on my shoulders when you were knee high, Wangji. I think I’m entitled to torment you a bit about your crush.”

Xue Yang looked like he was going to forsake the ways of the Sith, convert to Qinghe Nie, and start logging prayers at the temple of Nie Mingjue, and Lan Wangji couldn’t even blame him.

“Don’t you have anything to say about –” Lan Wangji shut his mouth with a snap.

He didn’t actually want to hear Nie Mingjue exorcising him for his choices, no matter how little he regretted them.

Nie Mingjue was silent for a moment, contemplative. “No.”

Lan Wangji blinked, not understanding.

“I don’t have anything to say,” Nie Mingjue clarified with a shrug. “I can’t say I entirely understand why you chose what you did, but we all choose our own paths in the Force, Wangji. I have faith that even though your path leads you to the Dark Side now, it will eventually lead you back to us once more. If you keep your sense of righteousness about you and continue to stand up for what you believe is right as you always have – and avoid engaging in the wholesale slaughter of innocents the way so many Sith do – I will never be disappointed in you.”

…maybe Lan Wangji would allow the people in that spaceport to live.

But only because it would hurt Wei Wuxian to know that he had sacrificed so much for nothing, of course. It was pure selfishness, nothing more.

(The Dark Side hissed in his head, bitter-angry-vicious-hate-hate-hate, but Lan Wangji hadn’t been Hanguang-jun for nothing. He controlled himself, allowing for only the influences he chose to accept – it was his independence that had led him to the Dark Side, and his independence, he believed, that would allow him to forge his own path, as Nie Mingjue had said, even inside the ways of the Sith. His uncle would say that such thoughts were pure arrogance, pride before the fall, but, well. He’d already Fallen, hadn’t he?)

“Would you like to stay with him until his vital signs have recovered?” Nie Mingjue asked, and Lan Wangji nodded, grateful despite himself.

Grateful, too, that Nie Mingjue did not speak of Lan Wangji reconciling with the rest of his old order.

“I will not stay longer,” he added. “I know it must be a burden to you, opening your doors to one such as me –”

“Ridiculous,” Nie Mingjue scoffed. “This is a secret base, Wangji. If you don’t say anything about it, who’ll know? And before you ask, I’m going to tell Wei Wuxian that you saved his life whether you’re here for him waking up or not, so take that into account when selecting your leave time. And I’ll exaggerate.”

He would, too, Lan Wangji thought fondly. Nie Mingjue had always been big brother to all the Jedi younglings, no matter how grown up they eventually got, and he never let them forget it.

“I’ll consider it,” he allowed, and settled into a meditation pose at the side of the room.

“As for you,” Nie Mingjue said to Xue Yang, who straightened up so quickly that he might as well have attached a ruler to his spine. “I hear that you’re the one that’s been attacking Hutt palaces?”

Xue Yang glanced at Lan Wangji, who sighed.

“You shouldn’t encourage him, da-ge,” he murmured. “He gets into enough trouble as it is.”

“Comradery does more to defeat evil than any amount of solitary philosophizing,” Nie Mingjue proclaimed, certain as ever in his own righteousness. It would be unbearably irritating if it was anyone less sincerely bullheaded about it, earnest but full of flaws. “Anyway, it’d be good for some of our padawans to see a Sith in action without needing to go up against one right off the bat. You in?”

“…in? I don’t – there aren’t any Hutt palaces around here..?”

“They take their travelling palaces on the Quiberon Line,” one of the Qinghe Nie Jedi said, and Xue Yang’s eyes lit up at the promise of what he undoubtedly thought was an opportunity for wholesale slaughter. It wouldn’t be, of course, not when he was going to be fighting alongside the strict Qinghe Nie, but it would keep him busy for the time it took Wei Wuxian to stabilize and recover.

Maybe Lan Wangji would even stay long enough to speak with his Wei Ying before retreating to be his silent and unwanted protector again.

Maybe.

#mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian #xue yang #nie mingjue #my fic #my fics #escape your destiny #star wars au

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i-will-physically-fight-you · 4 years

Text

Monsters in the Closet

Title: Monsters in the Closet

Summary: “You’re so much nicer when you’re bigger.”

Roman knows he can’t change the past. He can’t change the way he treated Virgil horribly, driving him to feel the only way he could be accepted was to be the villain of the story. But he can sit there and feel guilty knowing he is not worthy of any of the trust this young Virgil has placed in him.

(Part of the Tiny Virgil verse, takes place after An Itsy Bitsy Nightmare)

Word-Count: 2.7k

Pairing: Brotherly Prinixety

Warnings: Guilt, Panic/Anxiety, Treating Someone Wrongfully in the Past, Deaging, Hurt/Comfort

This part of a very late birthday present for @theeternalspace! I’m so sorry this took so long, please forgive me and I hope you enjoy! :)

Roman lets out a sigh and opens his eyes. Virgil is still snuggled close to his chest, asleep again after waking up what appeared to be a horrible nightmare. Roman can’t find himself to fall back asleep. His mind refuses to settle, refuses to let go of what Virgil said to him moments ago.

“You’re so much nicer when you’re bigger.”

The words rumble in Roman’s mind like that of a great and fearsome thunderstorm. How could it not? All the more confirmation that regardless of the unfounded trust young Virgil placed in him, he’d still expected to inevitably be treated terribly.

And that? The guilt of that stings deeper than any sting of the blade or a bandersnatch’s ferocious bite.

It also makes him wonder what exactly the Ankle-Terror thought was going on. Kids aren’t stupid. Naïve, yes, but that’s different from being stupid. They’re creative and innovative in ways adults couldn’t dream to be. Plus, they tended to love engaging in-depth conversations about Disney.

Sometimes, Roman misses the days when Thomas was a kid. Back when they were free to run around in the backyard and reimagine the swings as a spaceship or the underneath of the trampoline as the lair of an evil sorcerer. Back when they weren’t bound by inane things such as time constraints and the logistics of translating an idea into a real-world possibility.

He could get Thomas and the others roped in a fantastical make-believe for hours. Weeks even of stretching an incredible imaginary world to its limits. The only things that ever stood in their way was the outside forces of school, parents and bedtime.

Nowadays, the reminiscing with a tinge of regret. There always had to be villains to fight, you see. An evil mad scientist. A corrupt king. A greedy dragon. The list goes on and on. He never ever played the villain. He’d always cast himself and Thomas as the heroes. Logan and Patton were the supporting stars. Virgil and the rest? The villains through and through.

Virgil at this age would be used to this treatment. Rather than in his rightful heroic role as Protector, Defender, Watcher of All Perceived Threats--he played roles such as a wicked sorcerer who cast fear and disgrace upon the entire kingdom with his heinous sorcery.

He took to the roles without much grumbling. Oftentimes, he didn’t perform to young Roman’s expectations. Roman would chastise his performances, critiquing every bit. He wasn’t ever scary or evil enough for a Side responsible for making Thomas scared of monsters under his bed.

Virgil would also veto actions such as climbing super high up a tree and using it as a crow’s nest for a pirate ship. Much to Roman’s dismay, the others would side with him. Logan because Thomas could break a bone if he should fall and Patton because their parents wouldn’t approve. Thus making Virgil a major downer at times in Roman’s eyes and all the more deserving of the villain title.

It wasn’t until Thomas was older, closer to middle school, that Virgil started lashing out. He refused to play along, slinking off to sulk in his room. His influence had also grown and suddenly it wasn’t just monsters under the bed anymore--the monsters were everywhere. Homework, Teachers, Friends, Family. Roman worked overtime to help Thomas escape to worlds unfettered by these fears.

Of course, back then, he presumed this was Virgil fully showing his true colors as an antagonist. Thomas himself believed it, wishing vehemently for Virgil to just disappear. It was Roman’s responsibility, nay his purpose, to make Thomas’s dreams and desires come true. He was the Fairy Godmother to Thomas’s Cinderella. So for years and years he’d pursued this dream, desperate to make Thomas happy, proud even.

Now, he knows better. He knows that Virgil is more than just Anxiety, just like Roman and the others are more than what their title implies. He is vigilant, he keeps Thomas safe from external threats. Sometimes he can be overzealous, but he means well. And shutting him out isn’t the answer. It never was.

With all that in mind, he wonders if the Boy Terror thinks this is one of Roman’s elaborate make-believe games. Roman could easily picture a younger him coming up with a make-believe game involving himself and the others being adults. True, Thomas back then liked envisioning himself as a kid defeating the evil dragon like kids his age did in the media he watched.

But all kids at some point wonder what it’d be like to be an adult. They imagined themselves in the most exciting professions that made a real impact on the world. Then they’d grow up and very few of them made it to such professions.

(Except Thomas of course. Roman is incredibly proud of him and his accomplishments as an Ex-Viner turned Youtuber. Yes, they are still far from achieving feats such as Hollywood or Broadway, but still! For a while Thomas had to settle for a real, sensible job such as a chemical engineer. While science interested him, it didn’t drive him the way that creative pursuits such as singing and acting had. Thomas is lucky to be able to have a platform to do what he loves. Roman tries reminding himself of this during incredibly rare moments of insecurity.)

Kid Fright must be ecstatic about this. For possibly the first time in his life Creativity is including him in a game without making him the villain. Adult Virgil doesn’t talk much about the past--the few times Roman has tried to breach the topic it’d been an instant shutdown.

But Virgil has always cared for them, even before they’d all realized this. He must’ve taken any part Roman gave him out of a desperation to be with them and keep them safe. It sickens Roman just thinking about it. He doesn’t know how Virgil stayed strong for so long. Roman doesn’t know if he could’ve lasted a day in Virgil’s place.

He is probably also terrified and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Regardless of his age, Virgil always expects the worst out of any scenario. Even now that’s been a year since he’s been accepted among the core sides that make up Thomas. He can’t help it, it’s in his nature. Roman can’t blame him for it. One year isn’t enough to undo the damages that the other twenty-nine years caused.

One thing is for certain: if he does think this is one of Roman’s make-believe games, he must think Thomas is still a kid. And Roman’s not sure if he should let Virgil know any different. In fact, it might be best to keep Virgil distracted while the others work to find the solution to this strange vexing problem. Because he knows Virgil won’t take it well to finding his host all grown-up. He thinks that none of them would in his place.

So he’ll keep Fall Out Kid safe away in the mindscape and continue being the Prince he deserved. He’ll allow Virgil to be the hero and he’ll play all the other roles. Sidekick, damsel-in-distress, villain--if he must. It’s silly, but he’s almost buzzing with excitement at all the worlds they could explore from within the common area. Cowboys, Spaceship, Space Cowboys. The possibilities are endless!

A small hand tugs at his sleeve, tugging him away from his thoughts altogether. He looks down at the inquisitive eyes slightly shrouded by a mop of dirty blond hair.

“Yes, little prince?” He says, trying to blink away the prickling sensation in his eyes.

He refuses to cry again in front of the Little Shop of Terror. He knows he will have to confront his bubbling guilt and sorrow at some point, but for now he must push it aside. He is used to this. Being a hero means sometimes remaining strong and not showing vulnerability to loved ones.

“M’hungry.” Virgil murmurs into his chest, little arms wrapped around Roman’s neck. It’s almost endearing with how much he resembles a baby possum clinging to their mother. Roman isn’t used to a Virgil so physically affectionate.

Virgil is like a feral cat. You couldn’t hug or pat him on the shoulder without warning. You had to ask and very rarely did he accept, even if it came from Patton. No, the best way is to let him initiate it. Let him lean his head against your shoulder, or his leg overlapping your own during a movie night.

You also don’t acknowledge it and by not acknowledging it, Virgil then inches his way more until it grows into a proper hug. Then he would withdraw and promptly act like nothing happened. Like you were to forget the interaction ever occured in the first place.

Logan has a theory that it’s because Virgil is the Fight-or-Flight instincts and physical affection lowers his guard in a way he isn’t completely comfortable with. Roman now has a theory that it’s a lot more heartbreaking than that.

“You’re hungry?” Roman asks, attempting to steer his mind out of Despairing Drive and into Present Place.

A small growling noise occurs and Jack Smallington ducks his head down, embarrassed.

Roman isn’t entirely surprised considering that it’s been about eight hours since they discovered approximately five-year-old Virgil in the place of grown-up Virgil. Who knows how long he’d been like that, alone in his room, before that. Virgil also rarely eats so the poor kid probably woke up hungry.

Roman feels so stupid. If it’d been Patton or Logan watching him, the first thing they would’ve made sure is if he was hungry. Because kid or not, it isn’t in Virgil’s nature to be self-advocating. That type of stuff freaks him out. Yet another reason Roman is completely unqualified to watch over Virgil.

“Okay,” Roman breaths in, smiling, “thanks for letting me know, big guy. To the kitchen at once!”

With that, he hoists Virgil up, settling him on top of his shoulders. There’s a squawk of surprise and Roman’s almost worried until it turns into a gleeful giggle. When Roman lets out a neigh, pretending he’s a horse, Virgil’s giggles grow louder.

“You’re not a horse,” Virgil says.

“Neigh I am!” Roman says, “I am your trusty steed and we’re embarking on a perilous-but-completely-safe journey to the kitchen!”

He treks towards the kitchen, clicking his tongue in an imitation of a horse clip-clopping along.

“Faster,” Virgil urges, resting his hands on top of Roman’s head.

“Faster?” Roman asks, almost stopping in surprise.

“Yeah!” Virgil insists, “We gotta get there as fast as possible before any monsters come and eat us!”

“Never fear,” Roman says, “For I shall get us there before any monster even thinks of gobbling us up!”

With that Roman quickens his pace, ensuring he had a firm hold onto Virgil to keep him falling off.

“Faster, faster, faster!” Virgil chants in an anxious yet excited tone, “I think I see one!”

“Oh?” Roman turns his head back, “Oh, I see him too! Neigh, we better hurry!”

There isn’t an actual monster there. No sharp fangs or numerous eyes glaring menacingly in their direction. He can’t tell if Virgil is making up a game or if he actually believes there is one there. Either way, Roman is Creativity. If there’s one thing he knows best, it’s how to combat imaginary foes. Such as reaching the threshold of the kitchen.

With one great bound, he makes it onto the black-and-white checkered tiles.

“Aha! Now no monsters can attack us while we feast in the dwelling of this noble kitchen!” Roman grins, setting Virgil atop the kitchen counter before jumping up to sit beside him.

Virgil beams up at him, face wide with utter delight and awe. Roman is left dumbfounded at this. Even as a kid, Virgil had been very closed-off with his emotions. So shy and distrustful of everyone and everything. But here he looks at Roman like he’s some great hero or something.

‘How,’ Roman wonders, ‘how can you look at me like this when I’m the obstinate villain of this story?’

“Princey,” Virgil swings his legs, “won’t Dad be upset if he finds us sitting on the counter?”

Roman blinks. At first he thinks Virgil is referring to Thomas’s father until he remembers Patton also goes by Dad. For the longest time, Pat had even been insistent that was his name. In the way that young children believe their parents’ real names really are Mom and Dad.

“Well,” Roman says, offering a pinky, “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

“Okay.” Virgil hesitates before interlocking his tiny pinky with Roman’s.

“Excellent! Now what would you like to eat?”

“Ummmm, I--I don’t know.” Virgil bites his lips, eyes flickering around the kitchen. Roman’s heart squeezes at this. He should’ve known such an open-ended question would set his anxiety off. They’ve learned recently that it was better giving Virgil the option of clearly-defined choices rather than vague ones.

“Would you like grilled cheese or spaghetti?” He asks kindly instead.

“Grilled cheese? With applesauce?” Virgil doesn’t meet his gaze, as if afraid Roman will condemn his choices.

Roman smiles, “Your wish is my command.”

He could’ve just snapped the food into existence right then and there. A few years back, it would’ve been enough to suffice. But as much as the Sides influence Thomas, the same holds true the other way around. Thomas once saw a fanart of Patton cooking breakfast for the sides and the idea stuck.

Now Roman could still summon fully prepared meals but they weren’t super filling. Roman didn’t mind too much; contrary to popular belief (Logan) cooking could be a very creative endeavor. As Thomas’s creativity he could make up steps to dishes and still have them turn out perfect in the end. He may or may not enjoy it simply because it frustrated Logan to no end.

He hops off the kitchen counter, snapping a finger. Instantly cabinet doors magically open as the ingredients and the materials he needed floated out onto the countertop beside the stove. Okay, so he cheated a bit, but just because the others lacked a little imagination didn’t mean he couldn’t bend reality in a place where reality is inconsequential.

Roman turns to Virgil, unable to hide his smile at Virgil’s gobsmacked expression.

“Here, you can help put butter on the bread,” He tells Virgil, handing him a butter knife.

Grilled cheese sandwiches are a quick and easy meal. Before too long, Roman hands the kid a plate with a plain grilled cheese cut in halves and a cup of prepackaged apple sauce.

“Thank you,” Virgil squeaks out before digging in.

“Of course.” Roman says, resisting the urge to ruffle the Little Terror’s hair. Instead he takes a bite of his own grilled cheese. Admittedly, he went a bit overboard with his own grilled cheese sandwich; three different types of cheese with lettuce, tomato and pickles. He isn’t quite sure if he’s a fan of the pickles but ah well. So it goes when in the pursuit of creativity.

They eat on top of the kitchen counters with relative silence. Roman hums a bit between bites of grilled cheese. Halfway through, he notices Virgil sending him glances when he thinks Roman isn’t looking. The kid squirms a bit in place, his face twisting in apprehension.

“Is there something troubling you, Little Prince?” Roman asks at last.

“Princey, where are the others? A--are they okay?!”

Oh. Oh, of course. Roman’s heart aches knowing how much Virgil worries and cares for everyone, even at such a young age. He’s so quick to reassure him that he doesn’t even pause to think about the phrasing of his words.

“They’re perfectly fine, rest assured. Logan is shut away in his room reading like the insufferable nerd he is and Patton is simply checking up on our dear Thomas--”

“Thomas?” Virgil breathes in, eyes bright with alarm. His shoulders raise to his ears like hackles raising on a frightened cat.

It is at this moment Roman knew that he messed up.

“Virgil, wait--” Roman pleads, attempting to place a placating hand on his shoulder.

Roman is too late. His hand meets air as Virgil disappears in front of him with a loud crackle. All that’s left is a plate of half-eaten grilled cheese clattering to the countertops and a terror that shakes the entirety of the mindscape.

#sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #brotherly prinixety #kat writes #*slaps roman* this bad boy can fit so much angst and regret #also this more setting up the next fic in the series than anything else #hope you still enjoy it tho

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the-badger-mole · 4 years

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Hero to Zero

Sit down, kids. I want to have a rap sesh with y’all.

There is no such thing as a perfect show. Even if you think there was a perfect show, it’s rare it holds up to multiple viewings. Still, Avatar: The Last Airbender probably got as close to perfect as any children’s show could hope to. All this to say that ATLA is a good show. A great show, even. But it is not a perfect show. and they missed some pretty big opportunities.

Specifically where Aang was concerned.

So, here are the Top 3 Opportunities ATLA Missed with Aang:

1. Having Aang actually work for his victory.

If you’ve followed me for literally any length of time, you know that I hate,hate, HATE the LionTurtle/Rock of Destiny Deus Ex Double-Team ( ™ © ®) in the last episode. Now, I know some of you think that I- and others like me- just wanted to see Aang kill Ozai. To you I say...

Look, some of my favorite superheros have a no kill policy. I have no problem with the idea of Aang capturing Ozai and having Ozai stand trial. What I have a problem with is the fact that Aang didn’t have to work at finding that solution at all. There were plenty of chances to set up the finale in a way that wouldn’t have made it a complete and utter cop out. It wouldn’t have even taken that much. Aang was confronted by the terrible realities of war all throughout the series. He knew everyone expected him to end the war. He was involved in the deaths a lot of Fire Nation soldiers at the battle in the Northern Water Tribe. At any point, there was room to have Aang face what was expected of him as Avatar and consider what it meant for him as the last Air Nomad.

What I- and others like me- wanted was not for Aang to become a compunctionless killing machine. What I wanted was to see Aang realizing his duty and working to find a solution that would end the war and keep his values in tact. Instead, he waits until the last minute to consider what how he would end the war, snapped at his friends for pushing the obvious, and (until the magic Lion Turtle arrives) best solution to the problem that the world’s been facing for 100 years, and is rewarded for (let me be frank) his absolute laziness and refusal to accept responsibility.

Aang’s whole arc was supposed to show that he had to stop running away from his problems and accept his role as Avatar. The thing is...he didn’t. He had one moment where it looked like he was ready to stop running and do his job (DoBS), but that moment is robbed of any power by the finale. Why didn’t Aang have this moment then? Why wasn’t the rest of the series spent with Aang putting in work towards finding a solution? As the story stands, Aang looks inexcusably stupid, even for a 12 year old who didn’t grow up with a war. Not having Aang actively working towards a solution, freaking out over the solution presented, and then stumbling on the one being in the whole world that could help him undermines his entire journey. Aang was not the Real Hero of the series. Plot convenience was.

2. Having Aang learn more about how the war affected his friends personally.

This kind of ties in to my first point, but Aang never really had a moment where he realized exactly what was at stake. Not just for the world in general, but for his friends. Heck, he never really reckoned with what happened to his own people (but we had time for a nonsense Footloose pastiche???). Had Aang made any effort to understand the war from his friends’ perspectives- particularly Katara, with whom he was allegedly in love- it might have occurred to him sooner what they expected of him.

There’s no real moment of Aang understanding how much Sokka and Katara and even Toph have lost because of the war. He meets war refugees and is there when Katara rescues the earthbenders from the Fire Nation prison ship, but it never sinks in how much damage any of these people have survived. I don’t think I’m asking for that much here. I understand ATLA is a children’s show, but look how they were able to show us the devastation of war and abuse through literally every member of the Gaang except Aang. Even finding out that his mentor had been murdered washed over Aang like a summer squall.

It’s great that he had the perspective of someone who got to live in a world without war, and that he got to be a kid a bit longer than his friends, but at some point it would have been nice to see something stick to him. There were moments where I thought Aang was finally starting to understand the enormity of what the war had done and what it would take to end it (like in DoBS), but then the very next episode would have him goofing off (remember when Aang wanted to take off and play the day after a bunch of people- including the father of two of his “best friends”- sacrificed their lives and freedom for him? Pepperidge Farm remembers.) Nothing seemed to stick to him, which is why his refusal to kill Ozai and lack of preparation with another solution is both infuriating to me and honestly not that surprising at all. Aang is the most static character in ATLA (a show that included Mai, cardboard puppet brought to life by dark magic). He learns nothing. And honestly the fact that he stays the same from the beginning to the end of the series makes him look incredibly unempathetic. Who remains so unmoved by the tragedies of his friends?

3.Having Aang not get Katara and having the hero of a popular TV series handle unrequited love in a mature and realistic way.

Even less secret than my hatred of the Deus Ex Double-Team ( ™ © ®) are my feelings about Kataang. ( Shut up! You knew this was coming. Don’t act brand new). Now, normally, my focus is how bad Kataang was for Katara (the canon did my girl dirty, and I will NEVER forgive or forget), however this time, I want to focus on what the show lost by forcing this pair (Kataang was only developed if you only care about Aang’s feelings. Fight amongst yourselves. My mind is made up on this point).

Avatar: the Last Airbender was amazing in a lot of ways- groundbreaking, even- but it also perpetuates the idiotic myth of the Friend Zone, and those lucky fellas who break out of it. Throughout the whole series, we see that Aang is super into Katara, but the show also drives home pretty clearly that the feeling is not mutual up until that last scene (which makes it clear that the show runners didn’t give a crap about Katara). The showrunners had a golden opportunity here to show a young boy graciously accept that his crush isn’t into him, and remain good friends with her despite the fact that romance is off the table. Instead they chose to push the message that a guy can, through persistence, intimidation (lava fissure anyone?), and a healthy dose of arrogant entitlement, win the girl in the end. It’s not even that this was a terrible relationship for Katara and Aang; it’s that it’s such a boring and typical conclusion for this show to end on. Following through on Aang needing to let go of his unhealthy attachment to Katara would have been a much more powerful move.

That’s not to say he had to stop being her friend. In fact, I think had he actually let Katara off of that pedestal he’d set her up on, they could have formed deeper bond based on mutual understanding and respect. Instead, we got “Hero Gets the Girl, Because...Hero?” Instead we got a pair that upholds the dangerous Fiend Zone myth, which arrested Aang’s development, turned Katara into a hollowed out trophy wife and produced three maladjusted adult children. It would have been a fascinating direction to take the story...if it had been done on purpose.

Anyway, kiddos. I’m done here. If I pissed you off, call my lawyers. You can rebut me if you’d like (I’ll be honest,I probably won’t read it if it’s too long), but if you’re rude in my comments, I will delete and block you. Smooches!

#atla #anti-kataang #anti-aang #aang critical #atla critical #master katara #master Katara deserved better #anti-mai #slightly #I was supposed to dedicate this to the nonnie who was trying to harass me a couple of weeks ago #but i forgot their name and I blocked them #you know who you are though #this is for you #on the off chance you see it

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withluvgen · 3 years

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Dark Shadow - Warren Worthington III X Reader

Request from @val-halla-bitch

Hiya! Can I have a Warren birb fic where the reader has a “dark power” (like controlling shadows or something) and is basically the personification of a vampire, and dresses super goth and stuff and everyone is scared of her, but after Apocalypse, Warren has to room with her because she’s the only student without a roommate and they both have a crush on each other? Idk where this is going. Thank youuuuu <3

And

Hi!!! I LOVE your writing so muchhh! Can I pretty please get a Warren x reader where the reader has a spooky power (idk what) and most people are scared of her but warren thinks she’s cool and they end up dating and just very fluffy vibes? Thank youuuuuu <3

A/N: Okay so to the person who requested this I’m sorry it took so long before I actually wrote this. I think they requested it at around August or September the first time? But don’t worry because I’m definitely making this a series. This turned out to be like an introduction part for y/n, so I’m deciding to make this into a series/ mini series. I kinda fell in love with writing this so yeah expect there to be more of this.

Side note: I also kind of based her mutation on Tokoyami from My Hero Academia.

WC: 1.5K

Warnings: Curse words, Angst. A little bit of fluff.

DARK SHADOW

It was a rainy afternoon when he came into her life. He was new to the institute and was set to be her new roommate. It wasn’t new for y/n to be roomed with someone despite the gender, they didn’t last long as their roommate anyway so it didn’t really matter to her. The longest roommate she had lasted 2 weeks before y/n’s mutation scared them off.

People were always afraid of her, and she was used to it by this time. She grew up with people being scared of her because of her mutation, especially when she was younger and didn’t know how to control her mutation. She never made any friends as a child because of it, and now that she’s grown up she doesn’t feel the need to make friends. She was fine with being alone because she never needed anybody, or at least that’s what she thinks.

Her mutation? Shadow manipulation. She could control the shadows and make them do whatever she wants. Shadow puppets, that was her favorite thing to do with her mutation but sometimes she would lose control over them and the puppets would go wild. This happened a lot during the night or whenever it was too dark, but that didn’t stop her at times even if she knew the risks. She wanted to learn how to control it. It wasn’t until she was 10 years old that her mutation manifested into something dark, one of her puppets wouldn’t leave no matter what she did. It was as if it had developed a mind of its own. She was scared of her own mutation for the first time in her life. That was when she was sent to Xavier’s so she could learn how to control it.

After a year of studying her mutation, Hank couldn’t explain how or why her shadow puppet wouldn’t leave and why it had developed a mind of its own. But the professor had a feeling that it was because she was lonely. She felt as if she needed a friend and somehow her mutation manifested that friend for her. As she grew older this shadow puppet, was no longer just a puppet for her. She learned that it was part of her now and actually became friends with it. As she slowly understood what the shadow was, she learned that her own emotions can be felt by the shadow and that they somehow have a psychic connection.

She never liked having anyone around, especially the roommates they tried to put her with. They were always too loud or too annoying. She didn’t have the hard to say this to them so at night when she’s asleep, her shadow would torment her roommate without her knowing. The next morning she’d wake up to the other side of the room completely empty.

That wasn’t the case for her current roommate. It has been about a month and Warren was still there. She wondered why that was. She was used to her roommates leaving after a week or two, but something made Warren stay. It made her curious. So, for the first time ever, she was going to try and befriend her roommate.

“H-hey.” She hesitantly said. Warren only looked at her direction with a questioning look on his face.

“Why are you here?” She asked trying not so sound rude.

“Uh? This is my room?” Warren raises an eyebrow at her.

“I fucking know that but I mean, why are you still here? It’s been a month, and you’re still here. I want to know why?” Y/N asks voice raising a little bit because of her frustration.

“Look, I’m not scared of you or your stupid dark shadow or whatever the fuck that thing is. I’ve been through so much worse than that thing tormenting me at night. So, whether you like it or not, I’m not going anywhere.” Warren says sitting up and places the comic book he was reading beside him.

“Tormenting you? Wait what?” she asks as this information is completely new to her.

“Very funny. I know you’ve been controlling that thing to scare me off so quit will you?” Warren says with a straight face as he looks her in the eyes.

“I- I really don’t know what you’re talking about though?” Her brow furrows as she conjures up her shadow puppet. “Puppet, care to explain what my roommate is saying?”

“I don’t know what he’s talking about.” Puppet says as it shakes its head.

“WOAH? That thing can talk?” Warren asks in astonishment.

“Yeah. It has a mind of its own so I don’t completely control it.” Y/N says as she looks down a little embarrassed. This was the first time she ever told anyone about her mutation because she doesn’t have friends in the institute. She does have a few acquaintances like Jean, but she’s not exactly what she considers a friend. “It has been like this since I was Ten.”

“T-that’s actually pretty cool.” Warren says standing up to circle around puppet. He tries to touch the shadow but it bursts out.

“HEY STOP IT!” Puppet says appearing larger to scare off Warren.

“Sorry. Puppet doesn’t like people much. And uhh…you really think it’s cool? That’s actually the first time I’ve heard that.” Y/N says bashfully.

“I mean yeah? I’ve faced a lot of different mutants in my cage fights but this is the first time I’m seeing something like this.”

“T-thank you.” Y/N says as she feels her cheeks heating. Wondering what this feeling was.

It was a little while later when Y/N was alone in their room that she actually talked to shadow puppet to confront them about the whole “terrorizing the roommates” thing. She wasn’t upset about it she just found it a bit too much. She didn’t exactly want a roommate but she didn’t like the idea of puppet scaring people off on purpose just so she’d be alone.

“Look, Puppet, I’m not mad about it. I just want to know why you did it.” Y/N said as she sat on her bed looking a puppet that was pacing the room.

“I had to. You were feeling really upset about having a roommate and I thought you didn’t want them so I took care of them for you.” Puppet looked at her with sad eyes.

“I don’t want a roommate, but that doesn’t mean what you did was right. Have you done this for all of my past roommates?” She looks at her shadow puppet curiously.

“NO! Yes.” Puppet looks at the ground, as if ashamed of what it’s done.

“What the fuck? You’ve done this for the past 9 roommates I had, 10 including Warren?” Y/N bursts in laughter at the revelation.

“Yes.” Puppet answers sadly.

“It’s fine, puppet. I’m not mad. Just don’t do it anymore.” Y/N says as puppet instantly perks up at the sentence.

“Ohhhhhhhh~ you like him don’t you?!” Puppet exclaims.

“Shut up.” Y/N rolls her eyes as she looks away.

“Ohhhhh my little baby Y/N has a crush on the bird boy!” Puppet says running around happily. Mumbling about how to it should start planning a wedding. Y/N smiles watching her puppet be excited for the first time.

---

It was a few months later and Y/N slowly started opening up to Warren more. For the first time in years, Y/N actually made a friend. It was weird for the other students to actually see Y/N smiling, but ever since she became friends with Warren, she has been more cheerful than she was in the previous years. Even shadow puppet wasn’t being aggressively scary anymore, well it still was but less often.

It didn’t take the other students to figure out that the reason behind Y/N’s change in demeanor was because of her new roommate. It was rare to see them without the other. Y/N and Warren suddenly became inseparable, and to the older students it was the cutest thing ever. The younger students were still afraid of the two since Y/N was the personification of darkness and Warren was one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

“Here.” Warren says as he hands a cup of Y/N’s favorite drink to her before class.

“Thanks.” Y/N says accepting the drink with a warm smile on her face. The two of them head to class with puppet trailing behind them.

“Is it just me or does y/n seem a lot cheerful since Warren came here?” Peter asked Scott as they saw the two walk past them.

“It’s weird don’t you think?” Scott shrugs as he looks at the pair walking to class.

“I THINK IT’S ADORABLE!! DON’T YOU JUST SHIP THEM?!” Puppet says, popping out from the darkness before rushing to catch up with Y/n and Warren.

“See? Weird. Even her puppet is acting strange.” Scott says furrowing his brows.

“A little bit. But this is the first time I’ve seen her like this. Maybe she’ll finally let us be her friends.” Peter says before rushing to his class.

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orangepanic · 3 years

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For the Director's Cut, care to tell us more about Bring Fire to the Spirit Pools?

You would do this to me, wouldn’t you?

“Bring Fire to the Spirit Pools” is rated E, so if you’re under 18 and clicked “keep reading” anyway, time to go.

For everyone else, this story was written for the @avatar-rare-pair-ship-challenge this year for the prompt Injury Recovery. It features Asami going to recover from a motorbike accident at a healing resort called the Spirit Pools. There she meets General Iroh, or re-meets him, and they bang while they heal. There’s more to it than that, but not that much more. It’s not PWP, but compared to a lot of my other writing there is very little drama around getting together and quite a lot of enjoying themselves after.

First, I’ll own it was pretty much peak me cracking during the pandemic. I realized that of the fics I’ve written over the last year, quite a few have featured hot tubs or hot springs or steam rooms, both in the sexy and in the utterly innocuous sense. I think I really just want a hot tub? It was a long, cold, dark, boring winter. I’m pretty sure the initial premise was “Iroh and Asami would be super sexy cute in a hot tub, what prompt is this?” and then I took it from there.

But there are a few things I really like about this story. For one, I HC that bending is largely mental, and I liked exploring the idea that psychological trauma could actually make someone unable to bend. A lot of actual healing is like this, too. The body can heal, but if the mind and heart aren’t in it, it can be a long road. I also think loss of bending would be really traumatic for someone like Iroh, and I completely believe he might hide an injury like that and feel a lot of shame. I like making tough characters vulnerable.

For another, I sometimes get annoyed at the number of smut fics, or even just ones where sex happens, where that sex is perfect. It gets so formulaic. Triple orgasm, and let’s go again! These fics are either catering to a specific audience that does not want realism or are written by people who have only watched porn but never had sex. There is zero wrong with that, but I liked trying to show Asami being rather inexperienced, or experiencing certain things for the first time, and her various reactions to that without it being that "creepy older man will teach the young girl" trope (Iroh is usually early-mid 20s in my stories not whatever bs is on the wiki). Iroh's genuinely a good guy and just knows more stuff. One of my favorite lines is, “No one had ever touched her like that before, she’d had no idea it could be like this” because there’s a good chance sex with other teenagers actually sucked, and it’s okay to have a character grow in this area.

I also like the idea that you can meet the right person but not at the right time. I’ve written a few fics where Asami and Iroh get together right after season 1, but there’s good reason to believe they’d also both be a mess and in no shape to date. How Asami reacted the first time they slept together is loosely based on a date I once went on - great guy, wrong time, and I didn’t handle it well. I don’t do a lot of second chance fics so that was fun.

But mostly I love a lot of little things I made up that actually help me build out the world a bit more: the La Sea, the resort itself, Iroh’s nickname in the United Forces (”Sparkler” - I died), Asami’s love of trashy thrillers, what waterbending healing feels like and what it can and can’t do, Iroh’s fangirls, etc. I love writing history and legends for this world, too. Even though “Bring Fire to the Spirit Pools” is its own AU, I’ve reused a lot of the elements elsewhere as well.

Poor Sparkler. That name is gonna haunt him forever now.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29979099

#tlok #fanfic #answered #iroh ii #asami sato #irosami

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casualdadnomad · 4 years

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modern hc for every possible atla ship

Alright, I said I’d do it and now I’m doing it. We will not be arguing over ships because it’s impossible to argue if I include..... all of them. I’ll include some nice ship things and then rate the likeliness of the ship happening in my au.

Kataang: my babies. soulmates. they would be that adorable couple that has been together since the eighth grade. they work well together because they’re both kind hearted and care about each other deeply. they hold hands in hallways, call each other pet names (the infamous “sweetie” that makes sokka want to die), and always try to give each other little surprises to brighten each other’s day. they’re very into valentines day. would it happen? yes. 100/10.

Sukka: my babies part 2. sokka comes to every football game to cheer her on during halftime. he also goes to every winter guard competition. Suki goes with him when he does his graffiti. she insists it’s to be a lookout in case the cops find them, but she just loves watching him make his art. they don’t go out much, and are just as happy watching anime in suki’s room as they would be on a date. would it happen? YES. 10/10.

Zukka: the hottest ship of the ATLA renaissance. probably the best ship of all time. they just have this perfect dynamic. sokka is a genius with terrible ideas and no impulse control. zuko is just a guy with anxiety. sokka would definitely help zuko come out of his shell a little bit. and iroh loves his nephew’s boyfriend. sokka helps out for free in the jasmine dragon if zuko is working. would it happen? maybe. i do love them a lot. 8/10.

Zutara: okay. everyone has an opinion on zutara. my opinion is that i don’t like it unimportant. they stay up late on facetimes and talk until like 3 am. they play a lot of games and katara is super competitive, so zuko lets her win a lot. she’s cute when she’s convinced she’s the king of gamepigeon 8 ball. would it happen? unlikely. 4/10.

Taang: i don’t hear about this ship a ton. it’s not one i ever thought about. they’re both super protective, even though neither of them really need to be protected. aang is definitely more affectionate than toph, but toph can and will beat the shit out of anyone that hurts aang. would it happen? they’re the only two freshmen, so maybe, but still unlikely. 5/10.

Tokka: i’ve always thought toph’s little crush on sokka was adorable. they would skip school, go break the law for fun, that kind of nonsense. this is one of those rare instances where sokka has the most common sense. they would be more of a “what’s up you ugly idiot” kind of couple than a “hey baby! :)” kind of couple. would it happen? I could see them getting along. it would be pretty chaotic. 6.5/10.

Mai Lee: MY GIRLS. they’re perfect for each other. Mai is peak alt girl. She’s a goth queen, eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man, chains, little shirt big pants, and a nose piercing. ty lee is the exact definition of cottagecore. strawberry dresses, lots of blush, makes her own earrings. ty lee even gave mai a pair of earrings she made to look like knives. they walk down the street holding hands. if anyone throws them a weird look, mai throws a knife right back. would it happen? HELL YES. 1,000/10.

Tyzula: here’s the thing. azula never did get that sweet sweet redemption arc, so in my au she’s still a bit of an asshole. if they got together, i can see azula really trying to improve herself as a person for ty lee. i see ty lee really trying to sell the idea of including azula to the rest of the friend group. i’m really into the idea of instead of ty lee “fixing” her, having azula work on herself with ty lee as some extra motivation. would it happen? if azula put in effort to be a better person, sure. 7/10.

Maitara: what, did you think i was going to forget maitara? i did say every ship. katara vibes with the softgirl aesthetic while mai is on the egirl side, and honestly i am living for it. would it happen? this one is definitely a rare ship. but i think it could work. 5/10.

Maiko: ah yes, the canon one. zuko’s not quite as edgy as mai is. he’s like, if you diluted the eboy aesthetic a little. but i think it would maybe work between my two emo babies. they’re a couple that you never really see engaging in any pda so you just assume they’re friends until someone tells you otherwise. they’re very cute together, but dare i say kind of boring...? would it happen? goth x goth solidarity is cool, so maybe. 6/10.

Azutara: dude, there’s not a lot to say for this one. it’s been a little while since i’ve even seen an azutara shipper. are they extinct? (azutara babes pls tell me if ur not extinct). yeah so if this happened i think it would be because azula put in the work to be a good person and was welcomed back into the group. once she was in the group, katara would have gotten to know her real personality and liked her. but katara also holds her accountable for her actions. she puts up with no bullshit because she knows her worth. would it happen? i don’t think so. 2/10.

Sutara: this seems like chaos. these ladies would be the power couple of the century. i think with two women so strong and powerful, they’d butt heads a lot. they would be out in the world and actively changing it. would it happen? they’re both badass awesome women, but i’m not sure. 3/10.

Zukaang: uhh... i can’t say i ever thought about zukaang before now. but i guess you would have this bright ball of energy and a dark brooding type, so i can see how it could be cute. would it happen? um... no. i’m not sure if opposites attract that much. 0/10.

Tophko: another one that has literally never crossed my mind! i’m not sure how i feel about angry + angry as a dynamic. i think they would make great friends. okay, i think they would be a couple you mostly wouldn’t want to mess with. they can mess with each other, but no one else is allowed to mess with them. would it happen? no. i’m a slut for height differences, but not at the expense of a good personality match. 0/10.

Jetko: ah, the infamous jetko. the thing about jet in my au is that he’s kind of a sports boy. jock vibes. i guess i haven’t thought about his personality much except that he’s, well, a cocky sports guy. even if mans was bi or gay, i think he would have too much internalized homophobia to openly be in an gay relationship. would it happen? here’s the thing. i could maybe see them having kissed once or something, but not together currently. 4/10.

Jetka: okay i see a handful of people saying jetka rights so i thought i’s include it. i think the most likely scenario would be, maybe, they kissed once or twice and then sokka got ghosted because jet was closeted and scared. since jet obviously didn’t try to burn down a village, maybe that could be the reason sokka doesn’t like him. would it happen? maybe they never got together but jet could have been sokka’s first dude crush or something. 2/10.

Jetara: my immediate thought was that jet asked her out and they went out for like a week but katara quickly realized hey, he’s an asshole. ALTERNATIVELY, katara recognized him as the guy who hurt her brother or zuko and never went out with him at all, because hey, i don’t need all that drama. would it happen? maybe awkward exes. 3/10.

okay these took soooo long! if you have another ship, questions, or headcanon ideas, my ask box is always open!

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fromzerotoeuphoria · 4 years

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my feelings on rinharu & makoharu

So as I said in my last post, I wanted to make a separate post adding my own commentary on this response thread made by @melancholycheer @chensim and @thenakedbloger to an anon who had bashed melancholycheer for shipping RinHaru. They end up saying (almost) exactly how I feel about both RinHaru and MakoHaru, and I was just applauding them along as I was reading their post!

Their reasons for not shipping MakoHaru are pretty much mine as well, and their viewpoint on how both friendships are valid are the same as mine, too. Yes, OP hates MakoHaru as a ship, but OP also respects and cares for ALL three characters, and they also respect how others may have a different ship than they do, and that’s pretty much how I view it, too (even if the ship doesn’t make sense to me) (as long as people are respectful back).

I wanted to share this convo because so many of the points made are exactly how I feel, from why RinHaru is such a dynamic ship to how I only can see MakoHaru as best friends/brothers. The things said are just 💯.

MakoHaru isn’t canon. Neither is RinHaru. Fighting about it, or acting like your ship is superior, is not only rude, but also pointless.

EXACTLY. Neither ship is canon romantically. You know what is canon? The special friendship Haru has with his best friend Makoto and the uniquely special friendship Haru has with Rin. Does he love and care for both of his friends? YES HE FREAKIN DOES.

The directors and writers purposefully give service to each pairing to attract and keep viewers and customers.

Hate to tell ya, but MakoHaru isn’t canon and it never will be. They’ve already invested too much into both ships; if they set one in stone they’d lose a lot of fans. They won’t do that.

People need to think—there's no way the creators are going to have an entire show based on the relationship between two characters who are driven by each other and are specially connected to one another, then boldly push fan service between them just to suddenly cut off a huge portion of their fandom by officially, "canonly" pairing one side of that relationship (Haru) with a totally different character (Makoto). Same goes for the fanservice they've been pushing between the Main Character (Haru) and his best friend (Makoto)—they wouldn't do the reverse (RinHaru) and cut off the other huge portion of the fandom like that, either (at least, not while the show is still has future seasons and is profitable).

Though I believe RinHaru is the closest Haru-ship to canon, KyoAni hasn’t made any romantic ship canon yet, and as this isn’t a BL anime, I doubt they ever will.

I don’t like MakoHaru. I have tried, tbh. I’ve read essays supporting makoharu and gone into the tag and looked at fanart and it all felt so weird. I can’t see them as more than friends. They have such a precious, special friendship and making them into anything more just cheapens it for me personally. It just feels…gross. i don’t mean that in an offensive way; i just can’t ship it… I can’t see them as more than friends. I just can’t.

...but honestly just watching the series, Makoto and Haru were just friends, in my opinion. Yeah, they got fan service, but even that seemed like just what it was: fan service. It seemed out of place to me. And more than that, even the fan service didn’t convince me that there was something between them. I’m not saying there’s not; don’t get mad lol, I’m just saying that for me personally I don’t see anything.

Literally exactly how I feel about Makoto and Haru's friendship. Yes, FRIENDSHIP. Makoto cares so much about Haru in a deeply loving way—it's obvious to everyone just how much Haru means to Makoto. And those who know Haru enough can also tell that Makoto means so much to Haru (S02E11 alone is proof). Makoto is such a sweet, soft-hearted, caring guy and the friendship between him and Haru is truly something special.

But okay, in all honestly and as much as Makoto is my big-lil squish, MakoHaru seems just a bit...unbalanced, like Makoto is more concerned for Haru than Haru is concerned for him. Not that Haru doesn't care deeply for Makoto because he does—it just seems like Makoto cares more because he's very demonstrative about it while Haru's personality doesn't show his emotions or feelings often. I'm very fair with that; it doesn't mean that their friendship is in any way one-sided. They just have different personalities. But in all honestly it rather comes across like Makoto has a one-sided crush on Haru (while Haru has a reciprocated crush on Rin)—that’s where the “imbalance” comes in.

That’s a huge reason why I just don't see their relationship as anything other than a close friendship (with Makoto more than likely having a crush on Haru...OR his super caring Type 2 personality could misconstrue his rock-solid love and support for his friend as a crush. That’s very possible, too). Like honestly, there’s nothing remotely passionate about their friendship with one another, nothing that would suggest they both have deeper feelings than brotherhood for one another (again, Makoto does suggest this because boy cares so strongly, ngl it be borderline smothering—but then again he does just have a soft boi personality—but Haru definitely doesn’t suggest this, not with Makoto. With Rin, however...👀).

I mean, even Will and Jem from The Infernal Devices had a more emo-dynamic-passionate brotherhood/friendship than Makoto and Haru do, and Will and Jem were in love with the same girl, not with each other. So people trying to convince others that MakoHaru is a legitimate, canon romantic OTP endgame are just...I just cannot fathom that realistically happening.

RinHaru, on the other hand, has so much passion and rawness and depth. [...] And I know some people feel that way about MakoHaru, and that’s fine, but personally, Makoto and Haruka are just best friends, but when it comes to Rin and Haru’s relationship, there’s something more urgent and pressing and desperate.

THIS! Omg thisssss x10000. URGENT. PRESSING. DESPERATE. You feel this from not only Rin, but from Haru as well. This is HUGE: here you have a kid who’s disinterested in almost everything aside from swimming, a kid who rarely expresses his emotions and runs away from things he finds “troublesome.” He relies on Makoto to handle things for him when he doesn’t feel like bothering, and at the beginning of the anime, he couldn’t wait for time to hurry up and pass so he could become “ordinary.” And I hate to point this out, but that was Haru with Makoto in his life (again, no hate towards Makoto, it doesn’t say anything about Makoto as a character, just about Haru’s feelings towards Makoto). Yet when Rin enters into Haru’s life, the apathetic, rarely-expresses-emotions kid becomes urgent, pressing, desperate to have Rin back into his life no matter how little it is.

(this got longer than I anticipated—I could talk about Haru x Rin ‘til the stars died out, for real—so I’ll put the rest under a cut)

“Well, of course you’d say that, you bias Rin!!” you may say. But see, here's the thing: I wasn't even a big fan of Rin when I was first watching the series (except for shota!Rin because I fell in love with him instantly lol). High school-Rin annoyed me with how unnecessarily rude he was to Haru and the others, and I was Team Iwatobi for a good part of Season 1. If anything, I wanted to see Rin get all emotional about and care for the other guys. I wanted to see this red-haired jerk show emotions I knew he had deep down for my guys. But then, the more I saw the dynamics between Rina and Haru play out, the more the rawness between them and that fire when they interacted with each other drew me in. I came to care about Rin the more Haru was confronted with the feelings he had towards Rin. And when Haru bolted to find Rin after Rin failed his race in S01E12, that desperation emanating from Haru—and this is HARU we're talking about, the guy who rarely shows any emotion—made me just as desperate as Haru was for him to find Rin, to make sure Rin was okay.

The dynamic between Rin and Haru is just something totally different. It's just as one of the OPs said: urgent and pressing and desperate.

Another thing about Rin is that he was barely even in Haru's life and yet he left SUCH a huge impact on it. Rin probably spent half a semester of elementary school with Haru and the boys, yet in those few months he managed to touch something so deep in Haru that our independent, aloof and inexpressive Haru...

1) started running home from swim practice because Rin did

2) went against his own policy of only swimming free because Rin got him to

3) became so saddened that Rin moved overseas that everyone around him noticed (and it was one of the first things Kisumi mentioned when he ran into Haru in high school after all those years)

4) would fall apart when swimming freestyle in a team relay because Rin wasn't part of the team,

5) had Rin always lingering in his mind all throughout middle school,

6) said that he wanted "to swim like you too, Rin" after reading Rin's letter from Australia,

7) quit competitive swimming altogether because he thought he had hurt Rin by winning the race against him that one winter break,

8) was so rattled when Rin said that he never was going to swim with him again after Rin beat him in the freestyle race at one of the tournaments that he went into a trance-like state,

9) basically collapsed after hearing Rin say that he was quitting swimming,

10) was actually on the verge of CRYING after hearing Rin say that because Haru was heartbroken at the thought that he wouldn't ever swim with Rin again

11) said that all he wanted to do was to swim with Rin when Rei asked him what he wanted

and lots more. AND THAT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF A BOY WHO WAS IN HIS LIFE FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS MAX IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

There's no way anyone can tell me RinHaru isn't a powerful, uniquely special relationship that legitimately dances in the realm of the non-platonic. No other relationship in Free! compares to the dynamic of their friendship, to the complexity of their relationship.† They're not the closest friends—Makoto is Haru's best friend and Sousuke is Rin's—but they need each other. Are driven by each other. Are lowkey consumed by one another.

If you read my initial reaction to watching Free!, you’ll know that I knew nothing of this anime before going into it. I also actually thought I wouldn’t fall for the characters (I was too hung up on my Haikyuu!! babies), nor would even really be into it. I went into this whole thing so unbiased and knowing absolutely nothing of the anime or the characters or the ships or that there was even a fandom. I knew NOTHING, so everything I experienced was on my own and for myself. I didn't care for Rin in the beginning, but Haru's complex relationship with Rin sucked me in and was the very reason why I even binged the last 9 episodes in one night; I was so enthralled by RinHaru, and I didn't even realize it until ep12 when Haru ran after Rin like that. There's just something so special and intense about the relationship between RinHaru that it will forever be my ult OTP in the Free! universe.

I actually read a comment on a forum that touched on how Rin was in Haru's life for a fleeting moment yet left such a huge and deep mark in his life and psyche, and I was so happy someone else noticed that. I saved it somewhere, and I'll paste it below because it too sums up so well my thoughts on the dynamic relationship that is RinHaru:

RinHaru 100%...They have such a deep and real chemistry I don't even know where to begin. I could talk for hours about them, but lets keep this short and sweet. Haruka and Rin met in the last year of elementary school (roughly 12) for only (about) the last 3 months of the school year. In those 3 months they managed to create a bond so strong that Haruka never forgot about the red-haired shark-toothed boy in all the years to pass. Rin had such a strong pull on Haruka that when they met in middle school and raced against each other, Haruka quit swimming competitively just because he thought he hurt Rin. Now in high school, Haruka still wants to remember the sight Rin had showed him, and still cares about him just as deeply as his other friends. With Rin he had only been with him for a mere 3 months and managed to create such a deep bond with him, whereas with Makoto he was with him for basically his whole life. While I am in no way discrediting MH, Rinharu managed to create still as strong a bond as they did in such a short period of time. The way they admire each other and strive to be better because of each other just... // too perfect to describe. It's a beautiful dynamic, not abusive in any way as some haters call them. Their relationship focuses on growth, passion, and inspiration, always being able to light a fire in each other, always the person to spur them on and make them go just a little farther. A truly spectacular dynamic, Rinharu will always be my second favorite ship.

Modified by Baki-san, Feb 28, 2018 11:23 AM

With that being said, I honestly don’t care who you ship. Yeah, there are ships I utterly hate (*cough* Rintori *cough*), but in the end the beauty of shipping is that anyone can ship anyone. What frustrates me and pisses me off is when RinHaru—the Haru ship that’s closest to canon because their feelings for each other are actually reciprocated—is not only attempted to be discredited, but Rin is accused of all sorts of heinous things (like being abusive) just so people can fluff up their own ship. But that’s a different post; for now, this is why I ship RinHaru and they’ll forever be my Free! OTP <3

† this post was written for my original blog on July 27, 2020 before I’d watched Season 3. So, pre-drama-with-Ikuya and Hiyori’s-obsession-with-Ikuya. Those are some pretty complex relationships, too

#why i ship rinharu #i can talk about my otp for forever #would this be considered meta?#free! meta #rinharu #harurin #rin matsuoka #haruka nanase #why my otp #otp #anti makoharu #i love makoto but not shipped with Haru #free! iwatobi swim club #sharkbait

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ezmarie · 3 years

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Hello! I read through your matchups and I want to say they're rly cute :>> It's so cool about how much effort you put into them so I was wondering if its okay if I could request a Haikyuu matchup? (I hope its okay I submitted it)

My name's Alicia, I'm Bi but I'm more attracted to guys and I'm female(she/her). My sun sign is Gemini and my rising is Aries, INTP, ambivert and a Slytherin.

My personality, positives, negatives and such: Around new people I'd say I'm much calmer, polite and quite closed off. Some of my friends say I come off as a bit aloof to certain people or strangely kind to others. To my surprise I've had some people say I'm intimidating (like bruh why??) In all honesty my personality really differs with who I'm with. When I'm with my friends though I'm much more outgoing and loud, I really enjoy going out with just different small groups of friends even if its just for a small lunch or anything - I just really enjoy being around those who both make me laugh and who I can make laugh. I can be really sarcastic and not afraid to have some playful banter aka: who can have the most creative insults - even if they don't make sense. I'm smart in things I enjoy and can go on and on about things i'm passionate about. I'm always looking out for my friends, making sure they don't stuff up, praising their achievements and putting them before myself. I'm pretty open-minded and flexible, say if one of my friends has a friend I dislike I'll always act nice and rarely complain and I'm good at adapting to different environments. Although I am rarely happy with my looks and I don't like trying new things with a fear of stuffing up or failing ESPECIALLY with team sports bruh. I have a bad habit of staying up until ungodly hours of the morning and not waking up until the afternoon.

Appearance: I'm 5'2/5'3-ish, half Indonesian-half British/White/Whatever, I have shoulder length fluffy/messy dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, i have a beauty spot near my nose on the right side of my face, tan-olive ish skin.

Music taste: I typically listen to pop, indie pop and sometimes alternative rock. My favourite songs though would have to be Left to Right (Marteen), Act my Age (One direction) and Scrawny (Wallows). Two playlist names I have are "Solo survival in minecraft vibes" and "pain" - Theyre weird ik LMAO

In a partner: I look for someone who can take a joke and can handle my sudden chaotic decisions and mood swings. Someone who will communicate like please tell me if im doing something wrong or right for the love of god- It would be great if they didn't mind my random touches or signs of affection and it would be cool if we could play games together :D My love language would have to be touch and words of affirmation if that helps.

Anddd thats it, I'm so so sorry if its too long and please take your time and dont overwhelm youself :(( Thank you for your time and don't forget to drink some water!!

hiii! omg thank you so much! that’s so nice🥺 i ship you withh...bokuto!!

ok this is also kinda a case of opposites attract, or at least at first glance it definitely is. bokuto is so loud and extroverted and outgoing so it’s really appreciated how youre more calm and able to somewhat tame him down a bit. he actually got so interested in you because of that, just like with akaashi he was drawn to the opposite personality to him. hes also gonna try and open you up more instead of being so closed off, like its his own little personal challenge to make you more comfortable with opening up, and once you do he’s vv happy. he loves how kind you are as well because i don’t think this bby could handle someone mean, he just needs love and support and then he’s yours forever. of course he loves playful teasing (he denies that he likes it directed at him but he actually loves it) but he wants your kinda subtle niceness in a partner. the way you put others beofre yourself helps him a lot as well because he needs and wants a lot of care so the fact that you’ll provide that for him is amazing and basically ideal. however he makes SURE you take care of yourself too, like he will not let you forget about your own needs and will make you put yourself first sometimes any way he can. sure it might take him a while to figure out your doing that, but once he does he’s gonna look out for you even closer after that. he loves how open minded you are too because it would be difficult if you weren’t open to the things he likes, like he wouldn’t be able to survive without your support. the positivity you show for the things he’s passionate about just makes him fall in love and adore you a million times more, if that was even possible.

oh my gosh he LOVES how when youre with him your whole personality just switches. no not with everything about you switches but when you become outgoing and loud he just can’t stop swooning because he loves how much laughter and enthusiasm he can hear from you which he doesn’t usually hear. it’s just when you both are loud and outgoing it’s so chaotic for everyone else but for you two it’s just fun and carefree. he’s kinda drawn to your sarcastic side because that’s not really him, and he just thinks it’s so funny when your a little annoyed and end up throwing some sarcastic snapback to someone. like i said before he loves having playful banter with you because it’s really fun, but he denies that he likes it when it’s aimed towards him. however he definitely likes it he just pretends he doesn’t. oh my goodness i can’t even explain how much he adores it when you ramble on and on about something you’re passionate about. seriously like he absolutely loves it. he thinks it’s so adorable how you get so excited and peppy when he brings up a topic you love and you can just talk about it for days on end. especially when he can see that sparkle in your eyes and just the sound of your voice, it just makes him fall in love all over again. also, he would CRUSH any insecurity you ever had, especially if it’s about your looks. he’s ADORES any body type and body size, beaty marks, skin color, hair type, height, body proportions, anything about you he will completely love. he will support and compliment you to no end to make you see how perfect you are, he will make sure you know your beauty.

i feel like bokuto really fits the description of what you like as well. he LOVES to make you laugh and is always throwing jokes around and he’s a very goofy and laughy guy, so he will laugh at your jokes all the time. he values communication as well because he doesn’t really understand when people give him subtle signs or hints, like he just won’t figure it out unless you tell him upright. so he’ll do the same to you naturally because he just assumes that you value that as well. he’s very spontaneous and just kinda goes with the flow of everything so sudden chaotic decisions wouldnt bother him a bit, actually he lives for them. he also has mood swings as well so he would totally understand what your going through when you have one and you both would know how to help eachother. bokuto might get a little offended if you playfully insult things like how he’s doing in your relationship, his playing skills, or something like that, but once you reassure him that it’s completely a joke he warms up to it. mostly everything else he understands is just teasing and the only reason he ACTS offended is because he wants you to believe he doesn’t like it, but trust me you both are very aware that he in fact loves it since he’s very easy to read. lastly, he loves loves loves random touches of affection, he seriously can get enough affection. please randomly touch him, even if it’s holding pinkies or kissing his cheek for .2 seconds he will s w o o n. here comes blushy and flustered bokuto, have fun :)) 💕

scenarios with the two of you:

•you just waiting for bokuto home and when he does he literally tackles you in a bear hug. he rambles on and on about his day and asks you about yours while also complimenting you somehow and your just sitting there giggling at his normal energized antics. he doesn’t let you leave your spot either so you two just stay there cuddling for the rest of the night.

•it was around midnight and bokuto texted you asking you if you wanted to go on a walk, obviously you were tired and confused but you could just see his pout through the screen so you went. you went on a walk while talking, well mostly him talking, and going to a random destination you didn’t know of and i’m not sure he did either. when you got too tired he carried you too(and don’t worry he’s strong as shit already and thinks it’s super easy to carry you :)) i mean look at those biceps-)

•it was in the middle of summer and you were having a bad day so bokuto took you out to someplace you didn’t know of. it ended up being a field and so you two lyed on the grass while enjoying looking at the stars and the perfect summer night breeze paired with the heat. you were playing music like scrawny by wallows and can i call you tonight by dayglow and both of your were silent, a very rare thing for both of you, especially bokuto. he wasn’t really looking at the stars though, he was looking at you.

i hope you liked this!! i loved writing it and you’re soso nice thank you for worrying about me🥺 have an amazing day and take care of yourself!! <333

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu matchups #bokuto koutaro #bokuto #Petals ✿#submission

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retvenkos · 3 years

Note

Congratulations on the milestone!

🔥 Preferably Merlin, Percy Jackson or Harry Potter

I am a straight girl, a slytherin. I enjoy debating and literature. My zodiac sign is Aquarius. And I most definitely cannot talk about myself in a natural way. I am very opinionated and don't really enjoy fluff (like cute names and all that vanilla acting) though I like romantic actions. I like conflicted characters who are not particularly heroes as well as characters that don't open up straight away.

I am really curious about who you will pair me up with :^)

Congratulations again on the milestone, keep it up 😌😊

alright, just a disclaimer that it’s been a while since i’ve read percy jackson, so i’ll do my best, but my memory of the characters might be a little spotty.

Merlin:

I ship you with Elyan!

alright, so we all know that elyan is the ~mysterious~ knight, and that energy is perfect for you. you have to be at level 100 before he gives you his backstory, and you get to have a lot of fun theorizing about it, and slowly chipping away at his rough exterior. elyan is like, the definition of mysterious with a heart of gold and that’s honestly very iconic of him.

also, elyan would love that you are opinionated and have ambitions of your own - his sister is gwen, after all, so he’s very used to having lengthy debates. he would love to talk with you and have debates - you aren’t afraid to speak your mind, and he loves that about you.

the two of you probably talk a lot at the banquets and festivities that arthur throws as king - elyan finds them enjoyable for the first few moments, but he’s an introvert and needs time alone. the two of you manage to sneak off or at the very least find a quiet area, and you just talk - about anything and everything.

neither of you like to talk about yourselves very much. elyan is modest and he likes to keep up some mystery, and you struggle with talking about yourselves, so you often avoid topics about yourselves.

i imagine that, at some point, elyan asks you about yourself, and you tell him you’re not very good at talking about yourself, and so he says he’ll speak for you, then. and he lists off all of the qualities about you that he loves, and all of the little things he’s noticed, and he’s really spot on. he asks you how he did, and you compliment him and then proceed to tell him all of the things about himself that you have uncovered, and his smile - sort of proud and intrigued - is seared into your memory forever.

anyway, i think the two of you would make a fine couple - you’re both unique and independent, and yet elyan is incredibly loyal and would die for you.

furthermore, elyan, too, is not someone who is super big on excess fluff in a relationship. he’s a more private person, so his acts of love are kept for when the two of you are alone - not when all of camelot is looking. (though he does quite like stolen kisses in the corridors.)

i think that there would be a lot of deep understanding in your relationship, and so when elyan finally opens up to you (it’s after a long while, but when he’s ready, he does), he tells you all about his travels. you are one of the few to actually know all that happened to him in those years when he was alone, and when the other knights find out that you know, they beg you to tell them - percival likes to make guesses and you will either confirm or deny them.

(of course, you’ve confirmed complete lies, and percival has probably realized at this point that elyan did not fight off an entire village that outcasted him, creating a ghost town in his wake, but percival can never be sure which of your confirmed stories are real, and which ones are fake...)

Percy Jackson:

I ship you with Luke Castellan!

first of all, before luke joined kronos, he was actually a well-respected boy. like, camp members loved him - he was kind and had a witty personality, and he cared about the camp members, so he had a lot of loyalty to them. i can see all of this lining up with your personality really nicely.

i think luke would have really loved you! your opinions, your inventive way of thinking, your individuality, and your inexplicable luck? luke finds you fascinating - both kind but honest, both a dreamer but grounded in reality. you are his favorite person to be around, and he loves just watching you in your element.

idk if you are more of a sword fighter, knife fighter, or an archer (or whatever else have you - magic? necromancy perhaps?) but luke likes to watch you in action - you have such a determinedness to you, and you’re extremely clever, so watching you in battle is always fun. you outsmart your opponent and are fierce while doing so.

he also loves to relax with you while you’re reading - you thoroughly immerse yourself in novels, and he likes to watch the expressions cross your face - happiness and sorrow, confusion and excitement, he thinks it’s cute.

your introverted side mixed with his extroverted tendencies would be an interesting mixture - but i feel like luke enjoys his downtime and it wouldn’t be too much of a strain on your relationship.

i so think, though, that luke holds a lot of his cards close to his chest, and he doesn’t open up because he knows he has a lot to hide, and with you... it would be opening the floodgates. you definitely know this, and you want to know what he’s hiding. it’s a source of frustration for the both of you, and working through that is difficult.

Harry Potter:

I ship you with Sirius Black!

now, this was not my first thought, seeing as sirius kind of has it out for slytherin’s in general, but i can actually see this really working, so stick with me

i want to say that you and sirius were childhood acquaintances - maybe you’re from another pureblood family that’s always been in slytherin, and so your families often talk and bring their children along. you and sirius were encouraged to play with one another, and i imagine the two of you didn’t always get along

sirius is outgoing while you are reserved. both of you are a little arrogant (you mostly when it comes to your intellect). neither of you would back away from a fight, and generally you have a lot of tension together. with sirius, your strong opinions become scathing remarks, and your debates become arguments. he just knows how to infuriate you.

and yet, the two of you also seem to gravitate toward each other - in every room, you manage to find sirius and he manages to spot you. it’s irritating.

i imagine that before you head off to hogwarts, your families meet up one last time, and you’re talking about hogwarts, and for once, you aren’t arguing. it’s rare that the two of you share these moments, but it happens every once in a while, and it’s happening again.

neither of you want to be in slytherin (and sirius coaxes this out of you with great difficulty) - you want to be a ravenclaw and he a gryffindor. you’re independent and witty and definitely clever - you could be in ravenclaw, but you also don’t want to betray your family. sirius says that if you end up in ravenclaw, the two of you can be social outcasts together - of course, you’d have to keep your bragging down to a minimum, and your debates, too. they can be awfully annoying. and you tell him alright - but he’d have to keep his pride in check, and that reckless abandon that gets him so often into trouble.

and then you get sorted. and he is in gryffindor. but you’re in slytherin. and part of you mourns just a bit for the connection the two of you could have had - the daring escape from your life that almost was.

and in your house, you’re wonderfully clever, but also introverted and independent, so you often go overlooked (as so many aquarius slytherins do). you often get spared by the pranks that the marauders do just because you hang back from the group, but you get in the thick of some of them, sometimes, and it’s easy to get frustrated at sirius all over again.

at holidays, when sirius returns home, you criticize sirius for his pranks, but the two of you don’t spend as much time together, anymore, and when you do, it’s mostly spent in silence - both of you reading books and avoiding the others gaze. it’s no longer a comfortable rivalry between the two of you - it’s awkward and tense.

i imagine that in your fifth year, the two of you end up being partners in some class or another - potions, maybe, or divination or something. at first, the two of you didn’t talk much, but one day sirius asks about regulus, and that opens up communication again.

and then it’s back to your frustrated debates (now done in whispers, so the teachers don’t hear) and sirius’ cheeky teasing. and occasionally, on days when both of you are sobered or maybe just tired, you have those soft conversations again. and neither of you are great at opening up, but both of you are feeling a little lost and maybe a little trapped, and your friendship grows over the course of the year.

neither of you talk in the halls very much, but he’ll slide into the chair across from you in the library, or he’ll catch you on your way out of the great hall, and slowly, a romance starts between the two of you.

of course, if word got out that you were having romantic feelings for sirius black - blasted off of his family’s tree sirius black - you would be in deep trouble with your family, so the two of you keep it a secret.

it’s rough going, but both of you promise that after school gets out, you will run away together.

of course, fantasys can only live too long, and at some point in your seventh year, your parents want to make you a full on death eater.

i imagine that you are independent, driven, and steadfast in your beliefs enough to run away - you go into hiding from your family and leave hogwarts without graduating, only giving a cryptic message about where you are to sirius, asking him to go and find you when it’s safe.

now, this ending could go a couple different ways - sirius goes to you right after school and you join the order of the phoenix with him, it’s not safe so he has to wait a while and he goes to you after lily and james die (with baby harry ofc because he’s his godfather), or, he only ever makes it back to you after he’s been in azkaban for forever, or, even worse, he never makes it back to you.

oof. that’s rough, buddy.

#2.5k celebration!#celebration #lxncelotships #alright i went off on the sirius one but you can't tell me that story isn't hella interesting #ugh now i want to write a fic about it.......

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venusofthehardsells · 5 years

Text

Dreamgirl [part 1]

ReaderxBucky Barnes Summary: Bucky tries to adjust to his new life in the Avengers compound. One day he meets a girl who might be everything he needs in order to move on, but is his past really that far away? Warnings: Non/dub con (I don’t know the details yet, but will update warnings on each chapter. Nothing in this first one though), masturbation, violence, psychological manipulation A/N: This is written for the In the Dark Challenge hosted by the super amazing @darkficsyouneveraskedfor so don’t let this fluffy first chapter fool you, it’s gonna be dark and angsty down the road hopefully. My chosen prompt was the line “I’m touching your skin, if it’s just a fantasy, then why is it killing me?” from the song Infatuation by Maroon 5. I plan on writing the entire story from Bucky’s point of view, so the reader is “her” instead of “you” in this one. Enjoy and let me know what you think ♥️

The sheet is tangled so tightly around his legs he is sure it's trying to stop the flow of blood to his feet. The whole bed is wet and cold with sweat and a shudder runs through his body. He is still sweating. He knows he should pull one of the blankets over himself, because even if his insides feels on fire, his skin is icy to the touch. The summer nights have been treacherous as of late, but the high tech self-regulating cooling system in the building should take care of that. Should. His head is pounding and he knows that even if he manages to fall asleep again, he won't get the hours he needs. Bucky's dreams are getting worse.

When he realises the faint light of dawn is getting brighter outside, he gives up fighting with the sheet and tears through it. The two white halves of linen sinks to the floor in silence like the echoes of distant ghosts. He will have to see if he can stitch them back together later. The day is already off to a bad start and he doesn't need to hear Stark lecturing him about defacing borrowed property. Again. No, what he needs is to clear his head. He can't even hear his own footsteps as he crosses the room and opens the bathroom door. His own stealth unnerves him sometimes. Clenching his jaw, Bucky makes sure to close the door behind him. The soft click of the lock is somehow comforting. As is the water splashing onto the crown of his head and running down the length of his body, rinsing away the stench of sweat and nightmares. That's why he sleeps naked; it's less of a hassle in the mornings. He turns up the heat as far as it will go and waits until the metal plates in his arm have absorbed the warmth. With quick, efficient movements, he begins to jerk himself off under the shower. As with everything else in his life, he goes about the task with the cold detachment of a soldier that HYDRA perfected in him. There is nothing sensual about the way he pumps himself towards completion, nothing gentle about the squeeze of his balls in his flesh hand. He just wants some sort of release, and he knows exactly which buttons to press for his body to respond. It's another part of him that, despite Shuri and the rest of Wakanda’s finest scientists’ best efforts, remain more automatized than human. Biting his lower lip hard, he tries to imagine someone else's hand stroking his shaft. A smaller, more delicate hand, nails painted red perhaps. It doesn't work. In the past, Sergeant James Barnes would have thought of a girl he had taken dancing back before he got shipped out. Billowing skirt, shoes with soles that clicked merrily against the cobblestones, all done up for him and glowing when she saw him, handsome in his still pristine uniform. How she blushed when he smiled at her, how she gasped as his fingers trailed up her thighs, the tightness around his cock as he filled her - or maybe some local European farmer's daughter who had spared him a lingering glance and a pretty smile as he marched by. He would have thought of her coming to him in the lonely hours of the foreign night, whispering soothing nothings in his ear while her hand crawled into his trousers and gently began stroking his length. She would kiss his neck and tell him how brave and beautiful he was, her warm body pressed close to his while she worked him into a blissful, private ecstasy with a hand not made of metal, and he would fall asleep with the certainty that once the war was over he would return back home and find a girl of his own. Bucky knows somewhere deep in the shadows of his mind that those fantasies had felt pleasant and a lot more satisfying than the solitude of the shower stall. He has tried time and time again to call up the images of the girls from the past. Not a single one of them remains to him. There are of course modern women who tickle his fancy every day. Steve's friend from SHIELD, the receptionist who works weekends in Stark Tower, the blonde who sometimes walks her dog in the park when he runs, the modelesque beauties leaving Sam's room after a night out, the woman reading the weather forecast on TV. Even the girl who delivered pizza to the compound last week had made Bucky look twice, with her pierced lips and dark green eyeshadow. No matter how hard he tries, however, he can't picture them in his mind when he puts his hands on his cock. They become fleeting ideas in his head, words without meaning, too distant and abstract to turn him on. In the end, he is left with no imaginary aid and pure physicality will have to do. He cums with a short groan in the back of his throat. The water washes it all away and it only takes him a few deep breaths to get his heart rate back to normal. It's 5 a.m. when he dons a pair of black sweatpants, a matching tank top and a dark grey sweatshirt to hide his metal arm. It'll be too warm later in the day, but as long as he can get his morning run done before the sun rises too high, it's manageable. He slips past Steve's room quietly and out through one of the kitchen doors without meeting anyone. Once outside, he takes off down his usual path. The air is clear and still. Nothing moves except for him. The pale golden disc of the sun has not entirely let go of the horizon yet, clinging on for one last kiss before the day can truly begin. The world still holds its breath. The streets are all but deserted at this hour, or at least the ones he takes. Bucky has deliberately planned this route through trial and error with that particular criteria in mind. He rarely, if ever, runs into anyone. He prefers it that way. Today is a rare one, however. As he nears the park, he spots a girl hurrying along its fences. She doesn't look at him and normally Bucky wouldn't acknowledge her, either, but his enhanced senses doesn't miss the fact that something small falls out of her pocket and lands on the pavement while she marches on, clearly focused on reaching her destination fast rather than pay attention to her surroundings. Bucky changes course and picks up what turns out to be a blister pack with four of the little capsule pills popped. He doesn't recognise the long Latin name of the drug on the back of it, but it seems important. For a moment he considers dropping it back onto the pavement and hope she comes back for it herself. If it is important, she'll notice the medicine is gone and go back to look for it. There won't be a lot of people around at this time of day so chances are no one will take it for at least an other hour. Then, just as he is about to put it back down, an unwelcome thought creeps into his mind in a nasty little voice that resembles Stark's a bit too much: what would Steve have done? Bucky almost groans. Yes, what would Steve have done? Medication on prescription is expensive. He doesn't know what it's for, but it could potentially be something that saves her life - or ends it if she doesn't take it. Besides, littering is bad form. He rolls his eyes hard at himself and takes off again after the girl. She has entered the park, presumably to cut a corner towards the main street, when Bucky catches up. "Excuse me? Miss? You dropped this," he calls out when he gets close and the girl stops, turning around. For a second, Bucky forgets to breathe. "Thank you." She eyes him warily when he offers her the blister pack, but she takes the pills from him regardless. Her fingers faintly brush against his hand when she does and his heart does a weird off-kilter somersault in his chest at the contact. "It would have been a pain to lose these." And then she smiles at him. It doesn't matter that she looks pale and tired, or that her hair is slightly messy and her posture is already halfway turned away from him in her haste. The small, tentative smile she offers makes Bucky feel warm inside, fuzzy almost and he smiles back with the slightest tinge of red in his cheeks. "Take care," he says lamely and then she's gone, hurrying on down the street until she turns a corner and he loses sight of her. Bucky feels strangely bereft when he returns to his route. Normally, he is focused on running, on the path ahead of him, on the movement of his legs and strain in his muscles, but now all he keeps seeing is her. The early sunlight in her messy bed hair. He turns and runs down by the lake in the park. The gravel crunches beneath his feet, but the sound is faint. His cheeks are still warm with the lingering rush of blood her smile caused to flood his face. It's an odd sensation. During all his years as HYDRA's Asset, he never blush, he's sure of that. And all the blushing he has done since his return from the darkness didn't feel like this at all. The soft shape of her lips when she smiled at him... An urge Bucky hasn't felt in a very long time stirs somewhere deep inside of him. It's not feral or aggressive, just... warm. Tiny, but warm. It has always been there in the oppressed depths of his tortured humanity, he realises as he allows himself to be reacquainted with the little spark after all those years as a stove away in his own mind. The Asset repressed and ignored it for so long it almost withered, but now that it has Bucky's attention again it's determined to make up for all the lost time. It screams and cries at him, demanding to be fed, revelling in the brief second her hand touched his as he handed her back the pills. Because that's what it is, this need, it's what it craves: touch. Not just any kind of touch, but the certain gentle and soft kind only an intimate partner can provide. Affection. Desire. Loving kisses and caresses long into the night. Bucky has to stop running and close his eyes so hard the world keens. Even with eyes shut, her face is clear as day. He rubs his eyes as if that might make her go away. Then he takes a few deep breaths, shakes his head and takes off around the lake faster than before. It's usually not something he does in public, sprinting like that. He's too fast for people not to notice something is different about him. But right now, all he cares about is getting the image of the girl out of his mind again. It feels unnatural, the way he can't seem to let her go. God, he even remembers her nail polish with little yellow hearts on each meticulously shaped nail. He groans in frustration and pushes himself to run even faster. Hell, it's still early and there are not a lot of people around to see him. After having been around the lake so many times he has completely lost count, Bucky is actually sweating and maybe a little more clear-headed - though not a lot, he thinks, biting the inside of his cheek. He slows to a jog and takes another few rounds at a more civilised pace, trying to look at the trees this time. They're lush and green and almost a little menacing in the early daylight, but he prefers them to the sinister high-rises jutting up from the asphalt all over the city like a sea of mismatched teeth reaching to chew at the sky. Trees in parks have no such appetites. They bloom and grow and shed their leaves in the winter even when they are trimmed or cut down to half their size. The city isn't regulated that way. It reaches up and down and out, devouring the land little by little until, he imagines, the entire globe has become a single gargantuan metropolis, glittering artificially in the big black nothingness of space. Will there still be trees left then? The young James Barnes loved the city with all its sizzling technology and promise of wonders beyond belief. This older, damaged version of him is less thrilled. He prefers the trees. The subject of vegetation actually manages to take his mind off the girl and distract him for as long as it takes him to wander into the coffee shop he sometimes stops by before going back. There is nothing wrong with drinking coffee back at the compound, but this way he has more time to himself. Away from Stark. Away from Steve. And today he figures he needs the extra minutes. The old-fashioned bell chimes above the door when he enters. It is the only thing he registers before he finds himself in front of the counter and face to face with... her. Bucky's world freezes on its axis.

[TRANSMISSION]

ORION: MISSION STATUS

ALHABOR: ASSET LOCATED. PATTERN OBSERVED. ESTABLISH CONTACT? ORION: PROCEED ACCORDING TO PLAN ORION: COMPLETE REPORT VIA SAFER CHANNEL ALHABOR: UNDERSTOOD ORION: HAIL HYDRA ALHABOR: HAIL HYDRA

Tags: @cake-writes @buckybarneshairpullingkink @some-kindofgnome

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #inthedark!challenge #dark!bucky barnes #dark!fic #dark bucky barnes #dark fic #marvel fanfic #marvel writing challenge #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst

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fandom-necromancer · 4 years

Text

929. Now I know where half my wardrobe went.

This story was prompted by a lovely anon! Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

Nines was anxious to begin. In front of him lay several wooden planks of various sizes, cardboard-boxes, tubes of glue and buckets of paint. He didn’t quite know how to begin; he had only bought what several websites suggested and had returned home. Killing time really wasn’t his strong suit. He didn’t know how long he stood there as a message came in. What r u doing tin-can? Gavin laid stretched out on his sofa, head hanging over the edge stretching his neck tense from work and bad posture. He held his phone in front of his face in a position that could as well be yoga. Enjoying my vacation in piece and silence, Nines send back, picking up a plank trying to “see” something in it like the articles had described. Aw, come on, what did I disturb that has you this pissed? Gavin grinned at the screen. It would be fun to get to know a more personal side of the toaster. What had him so frustrated? I’m trying to find a hobby, as you instructed me. A hobby different to making fun of you. Nines laid the plank down. There had to be easier ways. He grabbed the cardboard and stared at it with his best interrogation face. Oh, baby’s first hobby? Can I come over? Gavin didn’t want to miss Nines stumbling into humanity at any cost. For what reason? The android put down the cardboard too. Gavin coming over was something he wanted to avoid. Not to get it wrong, he liked the guy. It was pleasant to work with him and he actually was a nice conversationalist once he had completed his Gavin-English dictionary. But having him over to watch him fail a seemingly easy task wasn’t how he had planned his day to go. Hey, I’m human, I have hobbies. Maybe I can help you. Gavin wasn’t dumb, he realised the RK900 wanted his distance. But by God, if Gavin wasn’t a stubborn pain in the ass. And on top of that all: bored. Fine. Gavin had nearly texted an enthusiastic “hell yeah!” but stopped himself rolling off the sofa and very pointedly not run, just hurry a little, to his room to find something decent to wear.

He arrived at Nines apartment, knocking on the door and having it opened to the android out of his Cyberlife jacket. It was a bit taken aback by that; he had never seen him without it in his life. Maybe that was his idea of wearing something comfortable at home, who would know. ‘Err… Hi!’, Gavin greeted him and was let in with a simple ‘Detective.’ ‘Hey, you know we are not at work, you can just call me Gav- woah.’ Nines had closed the door behind him, leaving him to look into the living room full of wooden planks and other bulky material as well as tools. ‘Hey, toaster, you trying to build all the furniture for someone?’ ‘… No. Is it too much?’ ‘Depending what you want to do with it’, Gavin shrugged, kicked off his shoes to the side of the hallway and hung up his jacket. ‘If you want to re-furniture my brother’s mansion, then it would do I guess.’ ‘I planned on experimenting with basic woodwork and model making’, Nines explained a bit shy. ‘I don’t have anything else to do during the vacation you pressed on me.’ ‘Hey, don’t make me look like I’m the bad guy here. I’m sure Fowler won’t complain having you at the precinct without me.’ ‘He does complain. I went to work this morning and he told me to “go find a hobby”. You said the same to me, so I wanted to at least give it a try.’ ‘You actually went to- you know, never mind. What do you want to build?’ ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Well that’s unfortunate’, Gavin laughed. ‘You should have some idea.’ Nines sighed. He had known it would end in the man making fun of him. ‘If you came here just to see me fail, I would advise you to leave.’ Gavin looked at him startled. ‘Hey, Nines, I came here to help you. I mean it. Sorry that I laughed. It’s just… You prepared to build the Cyberlife tower life-sized with this and have no idea what to do. Normally people start smaller.’

Nines looked at the man marvelling at his mindless creativity. ‘That’s actually a good idea’, he nodded and didn’t pay the frowning human so much as a glance as he started picking up pieces of wood again. ‘What have I-‘ ‘Take a seat, Det- Gavin.’

It was fascinating seeing Nines work away with robotic speed and precision on a wooden block, until a few hours later he had completed a perfect replica of the Cyberlife tower. ‘Wow, that’s super impressive, Nines’, Gavin cheered. ‘It looks exactly like the real thing!’ The android smiled. Whether it was from the [mission successful] blinking in his HUD or from the praise he didn’t know. ‘And what are you going to do next?’, Gavin asked him. To Nines it was clear as day. ‘Why refurnishing your brother’s mansion when you can build a whole city?’

Nines had worked the whole day on his project and recreated belle-island. Gavin had sat there with him the whole time, just watching him and cheering whenever a building or tree was added to the bunch. One time he had ordered take-out and ate it and Nines hadn’t even batted an eye at it. Afterwards he had helped, gluing the buildings to a plate the android had cut to without doubt resemble the exact soil conditions over there. The man had left him only late in the night yawning and thanking him he had been allowed to come over. Nines accepted it, knowing well he should have been the one thanking him.

The next days he tried out a lot of different hobbies. Later, when he had made his mind up about how much he liked the different activities, he would continue with his projects. Gavin had only been there for some days and activities, enjoying his vacation only to come over when he was bored. Nines had begun caring after plants he had bought. He started cross-stitching. He took up cooking on a day Gavin was over for the practical reason of having someone to taste it only of course. He had tried puzzles, singing and foreign language learning. When it had come to magic tricks Gavin had been there as an audience for him. The last activities on his list were bread baking and pottery.

Baking was something simple, without much reward for him except for a nice smell. So it was on the same day he unpacked clay and set to work on a simple vase. He started up the electric potter’s wheel and started, fascinated at how the clay changed under pressure. Until he experimented too much with pressure and speed and the whole thing came suddenly flying at him landing across his chest. So much for pottery…

Frustrated he had been so stubbornly determined on trying it the human way without any program-guidance, he stood up to change into a clean turtleneck and wash the one he wore. Interestingly enough his wardrobe was empty. His spare upper-body clothes gone. Nines cocked his head to the side and closed it again. Had he left his spare pair at work? He didn’t care too much about it, as he went to the bathroom and pulled off his shirt to wash the clay away. He could always order new ones from Cyberlife as they had been produced in advance for the army he was supposed to become. When there were two-hundred-thousand jackets with his number on it, he wouldn’t shed any tears over it.

He put more interest in evaluating his experimentations. He disliked pottery. Cross-stitching was relaxing but felt inefficient to him. Caring for plants was too easy. At least with the plants he had bought. Puzzles were too little of a challenge too. Same with learning a new language, as he always could just download another patch. What he really liked had been cooking and building the model city. And doing the magic tricks with Gavin. What was the connection between them? Maybe if he found one, he could discover new hobbies with that trait more easily. He had liked Gavin’s reaction to his card and coin tricks. That was also true with cooking. And if he was honest with himself that too was the case with the model city. With a bit of shock, he realised that maybe he didn’t like these hobbies more than the others. Maybe he just liked that he had company. No that couldn’t be. That was so irrational. That wasn’t like him at all. But it was true.

He was faster out of the door that he could realise he had forgotten to fetch his jacket on the way out. A short drive through town he ended up in front of Gavin’s apartment hacking his lock to be let in. He had to tell him this weird development and needed a human to explain it. As far as he knew a hobby couldn’t be a person. He barged into the living room to face a terrified human wearing- ‘Is that my jacket?’ ‘I swear it’s not what it looks like!’, Gavin cried out, stumbling over the words. ‘Now I know where half of my wardrobe went’, Nines mused. ‘Wait, how does this look like?’ ‘Ahh, dunno, sorry! You can have it back!’ He scrambled off the sofa while pulling it off hurriedly. He finally got out of his Cyberlife jacket and had the seams of the turtleneck between his fingers as Nines gently put one hand on top of his with a pained look on his face. ‘Keep that on… please.’ ‘Err… okay. This is awkward as hell, sorry. Wait- half your wardrobe? I stole two things…’ ‘I don’t have to change. I don’t sweat. And my clothes never… They rarely get dirty.’ ‘Okay, we definitely have to go shopping someday’, Gavin uttered, still uncomfortable with being caught. Nines wanted to disagree, but then closed his mouth at the realisation that would mean he got time to spend with Gavin. So, he nodded. ‘Okay, after that weird start, what did you break into my home for anyways?’, Gavin asked. Nines straightened his back. ‘Is it possible for a hobby to be a person?’ The human laughed. ‘Heh, well, normal people would call that friendship or something, but… maybe? Why?’ ‘I tried out every hobby I had on my list. In the end I compared them all to find my favourite. I found out I had to add one.’ ‘Really? Then come on, tell me! What is it?’ ‘You.’

#detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #RK900 #Gavin Reed #Ok focus this is a story about clothes and people wearing the clothes of their SO(s) and whatnot #instructions unclear googled human hobbies #Just so you know Gavin's hobby is Nines too.#And now to the today you learned: cleaning shirts doesn't work with polymer clay I still have a stain on my chill-shirt #looks like a damn tooth paste stain too #sometimes being an artist and a human disaster coincides so who cares

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daily-dose-of-imagines · 4 years

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(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Matchup ♥

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Hey, there :) Super big congrats on the mighty 1k now! I absolutely would love if I could get a male Haikyuu and Bleach matchup, if you can. I typed up a whole dang mini essay – I’m so sorry! – but I hope it was helpful. Can I also be kept anonymous? Tysm, angels! ❤️

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I’m a Pisces, INFJ, Enneatype 4w5 female. I’m 5’3 and have long, dark, wavy hair and dark brown eyes. I’m physically fairly fit.

I can look a little intimidating due to my reserved nature, but I’m very much “do no harm, but take no shit”. I work best one-on-one with people, but can adapt myself to social situations if needed. I’m independent and responsible, but also pretty free spirited. You can have as much fun as you want – just be safe!

I’m always looking to improve myself and expand my perspectives, whether that be personal growth or increasing knowledge. I tend to study up a little on something that comes up that I don’t know much about, like a certain health concern or different types of coffee beans. Definitely the type to know random little facts or a bit about random topics that I’ve read somewhere lol. I like being prepared, so I’ll always have bandaids, tissues and paracetamol on hand, an umbrella if I’m carrying a bag.

I’m very intuitive, compassionate and empathetic and like helping people. I’m actually really soft and cry easily in movies, reading something sad or super happy (in private). I appreciate the little things and can get excited over things like the sky, dogs and food.

I can be witty asf and will definitely sass you or let fly sarcastic remarks, but nothing ever hurtful. It’s a love language hehe. So, I’d definitely love an s/o who can engage in these witty banters with me. I love to laugh and am very much playful in love. I also love comfortable silence, where neither of us has to pretend with each other or speak just to fill the silence. I don’t open up easily and would only show my more vulnerable sides to the very few who’ve earned my trust. You can talk to me about anything, I rarely get phased and won’t shy away from darker topics. My s/o will always be safe with me and I would like the same vice-versa. I’d love a relationship where we can both confide in each other, all our deepest fears and dreams, things we’ve never told anyone else. We got each other. I can be your #1 hype man or support. Love a power couple, partner-in-crime, us-against-the-world type. Someone unafraid to go deep with me, “I know you/You know me” and it’s true. I’m not into PDA, but hand-holding and a peck every now and then is fine. I love emotional and physical intimacy, tender moments. 18+: I’m mainly a bottom, but sometimes top. I’m a giver.

Health is something I value, so I’ll also make sure my s/o is looking after themselves. I like cooking and baking especially, and will always try to go for healthier versions where I can (healthier versions means you can eat more sksks). I like some physical activity, especially sprinting/running, exercise bedroom exercise? heh and I used to do martial arts, but I’m just all about balance overall.

Other interests include arts in all forms, astrology, spirituality, psychology, watching movies, reading.

You’ll probably also find me where the music is; brushing my teeth, in the shower, cooking or singing/humming to myself.

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Hello and thank you for the congrats and thank you for submitting with us! I sincerely hope you enjoy the boys I paired you with!

>Admin 𝕋

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𝐼 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽...

I choose the calm yet spunky mom of Haikyuu: Sugawara, to be your boyfriend! The reason why I ship you with Sugawara is mostly because you sound like the mom friend of your friend group, and he is too, essentially! He will see that you are “intimidating” and then immediately know that you are just a big softie, that just cares deeply for people to be safe! He will also like the fact that you are responsible and independent, seeing as he needs to be the same way, and he will want someone to be by his side that understands that feeling! Sugawara will also like the fact that you like to expand your knowledge! He will think it is so cool, that you want to constantly better yourself with knowledge, even if it is cute little fun facts, that could definitely make his day a little brighter! Oh yeah, he would definitely love those little facts you would tell him! He will also like the fact that you are always prepared for anything to happen. If he were to get injured in a competition you can be there for him, with your bandaids, and he will absolutely love it!

When it comes to you being sassy, and having that as love language, Sugawara would totally be able to do it back to you! Like, he is the sass master, and when he does it with you, it’s so cute! The way you two would banter with each other, people thinking that you don’t like each other, when all actuality that is how you guys show your love for each other! With Sugawara, his presence alone can comfort someone, and if you just want to silently be with him, he will do that, just for you! And it wouldn’t even be awkward because you would be so comfortable with him! With Sugawara, I feel that you can have really deep conversations about anything, and you won’t have to deal with judgement, and you can just be yourself, and no one else! So don’t be afraid to say what is on your mind with him! He is definitely someone that you can be deep with, with no reprecussions! He is your partner in crime!

In the PDA section, he understands that you prefer hand holding and pecks on the cheek, so he will just do that, when others are watching. In the bedroom, he will be far more affectionate, and will want to constantly touch you! He could definitely be a switch for you! It will all depend on what you want! He will love the fact that you want to be helpful, and would want to spoil him! But make sure he gets to spoil you too!

I choose the calm and aloof yet incredibly loyal Byakuya to be your Bleach boyfriend! Byakuya himself is, at first glance, a very intimidating man, but that is just a facade! He is actually quite a softie, especially when it comes to the people that he loves! He will like the fact that you are independent and responsible, yet can adapt to any situation when you need to! He will like the fact that you want to know more about practically anything! He sees knowledge as power, and when he finds out that you are quite knowledgeable, he will see you as a very powerful person! And he will definitely like that about you! He will also like the fact that you are prepared to be able to help someone who is in need! He will see your compassion, something he struggles with showing, and admire your heart!

Byakuya isn’t one for sassy banter, only because he doesn’t really know it is, but if you were to show him, and tell him it is your love language, and that is how you can be affectionate towards, he will try to do it with you! He may trip up at first, but once he watches you do it, and figures it out, he will be able to catch up with you in terms of sassiness and it will just so cute to watch! On the other side of it, when you want to have some quiet, Byakuya can definitely do that for you, and would just hold you in his arms and just sit in comfortable silence! And if you were to want to have a deep, meaningful conversation, then he would definitely do that with you! He is quite good at having meaningful conversations! He would to confide in you when he is having doubts about this, and would love if you did the same, just like you would! He will want you to be comfortable with him in every way possible!

For PDA, he wouldn’t be one for it, and would most likely not want to hold hands or kiss in public as much as possible, but he wouldn’t oppose if you ask nicely! In the bedroom, Byakuya is very dominant and would want to everything for you in the pleasure department! And when you would want to pleasure him, he will politely tell you no! He will want to love you, he will want to hold you so that you know that you are loved by him in every way possible!

#submission #submissions #matchup #anime matchup #bleach #bleach matchup #bleach x you #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x you #haikyuu matchup

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